Ep 72 ｜ A Medal of Honor for a Grenade I Can’t Remember ｜ Kyle Carpenter ｜ The Glenn Beck Podcast
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 11 minutes
Words per Minute
126.81705
Summary
When he was 21 years old, Kyle Carpenter went off to war in the most dangerous war zone in the world. He endured the unimaginable but did it in a heroic way. His story is of great empathy, motivate, and inspire you to build a life that's worth fighting for because you're worth it.
Transcript
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I'm sitting here in the Mercury Studios which were built as the Paramount lot here in Texas and
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this stage has told many many stories and many films. Now I've purchased the lot and we tell
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stories in a different way and the people that have sat on this stage to talk about what they
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have done are incredible. The podcasts really are a collection of people that are unique and every
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day we're surrounded by great conversations and I hear a ton of stories. Sad stories, stories that
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will leave you devastated, stories of hope, stories of tremendous humanity, hero stories, real life
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heroes, people who accomplish the unthinkable. Today I think the guest is all of those things.
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He is a walking lesson in empathy. His story, unbelievable, without a doubt, a miracle that he's
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still alive. I don't want to ruin the story for you but when he was 21 years old he went off to
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war. Most dangerous war zone in the world. He endured the unimaginable but did it in a heroic
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way and people will say this one event changed his life but I disagree with that. I don't think it had
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anything to do with that event and that event the excruciating consequences of that event impact him
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still today. This is one of those podcasts you're going to carry around with you for a while because
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my guest today has a ton to teach about just the simple art of being a good person. His story is
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of great empathy, motivate, and inspire you to, as his book says in the subtitle, build a life that's
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worth fighting for because you're worth it. His name is Kyle Carpenter, the youngest Medal of Honor recipient
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So I have a reason I want to start here and you'll understand after you answer the first question.
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Just tell me about the minute that you jumped on the grenade. Start there.
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So maybe one of the craziest parts of my journey is I do not remember that minute.
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Leading up to it. I do not remember seeing the grenade, hearing it land, thinking about it.
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All I remember is physically how I felt after that grenade detonated and I was injured.
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So you remember laying on the ground after it detonated?
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I don't know. I was so disoriented. I felt like I was laying face down on the ground because the
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first thing that I tried to do was kind of push myself up and shake it off. But my first realization
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was I could not feel either one of my arms from the shoulders down. And like I said, I had,
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I was so disoriented that even though I didn't know what was going on, not being able to feel my arms to
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trying to push myself up and shake it off. I planted a first seed of initial panic.
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Following that, as I continued searching through the disoriented pieces to try to put some type of
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what happened together, I thought, okay, the last thing I remember, I'm pretty sure I was in Afghanistan.
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I was on a roof. Maybe. And now that I'm talking about it, it's crazy that I can even recollect this much.
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But I thought maybe I got off of the roof. I went on a foot patrol. I stepped on an IED and just the
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last thing that my brain can register or remember is being on that roof. Those thoughts were interrupted
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by, and this will allude to Marine's humor, but those thoughts were interrupted by what I thought was
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someone pouring warm water all over me. I'm thinking, really guys? In this banged up state I'm in,
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you're pouring warm water on me right now? But that final piece allowed the other ones to fall into
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place. And it gave me the surreal and unfortunate realization that what I was feeling was not warm
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water, that it was blood and I was profusely bleeding out. So with physically how I felt,
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accompanied by the medical training we get as Marines before deploying, and just unfortunately
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the casualties I had seen so far on that deployment, with all of those combined, I knew that my time was
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inevitably limited. And so in my final few moments, you know, what I thought were my final few moments
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on this earth, I thought about my family, specifically my mother, and how devastated that
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she was going to be that I did not survive to make it home. A tiredness that is still almost 10 years
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later, impossible to recount or describe, completely consumed every fiber of my being. And I said a quick
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prayer for forgiveness in anything I had done wrong in my life. And I faded from consciousness in the world
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on that hot, dusty rooftop. And I woke up roughly five weeks later with snow outside of my hospital room
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window on the other side of the world. And my first sight was slowly opening the only eye I had left to
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Christmas stockings that were hanging on my hospital room wall that my mom had hung while she of course
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was hopefully and lovingly preparing for me to wake up and have life again. Tell me what your friends,
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what you found out, what you did. Tell me what your friends and your, uh, your co-marines said you did.
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The, uh, I guess the first moment that anything came up about what I did or my actions on the roof that day,
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I was still early on in the hospital. It was end of February and I had spent from, uh, November 28th
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when I arrived at Walter Reed through, uh, that January. So a couple of months later,
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and once I got, uh, through the, you know, let's try to keep him breathing the life-saving steps.
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Once I was a little bit more stable, I moved down to what's called a poly trauma unit to spend
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my final third inpatient month in the hospital, uh, down there. Um, you know, I was off of my
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tray, the ventilator, most of the tubes were out of me and I was able to get up and start walking
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around, go into therapy, speech therapy, and things like that. More follow-on steps than the immediate
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care. And it was one of my last few days in the hospital. And I have no idea how I made
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a trip to the mall while I was in the hospital, but, uh, and it wasn't to, uh, go shopping,
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but, uh, I think it was more just to get out, um, uh, with my therapist and get some fresh air,
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start to think about, you know, that transition out of the hospital, even though I was going to
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be in the hospital for many years, but, uh, transition to more of the outpatient side of
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things and start regaining my life again. Uh, but I was about to leave Richmond, Virginia,
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that poly trauma unit. And I was sitting in the food court at the mall and my good buddy,
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Griffin Welch called me and Griffin, a good old boy from Mississippi did four combat deployments
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and, um, got out before, uh, he could even enjoy his first legal beer at 21. And so, uh,
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it was both of our first combat deployments with each other. And he had called me and, uh, sitting
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there all wrapped up and bandaged up in my sling. He told me that, um, you know, the Marines saw and
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knew what I did and they loved me. And, uh, they believe that at least from their just boots on the
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ground perspective, they're with me that they believe that, um, I should be, and that they were
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going to recommend me for the medal of honor. Now, with that said, we hang up that phone call
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and for years until I got any further calls, I did not think about it one more time for one more
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second. And you still didn't really know what you had done, what they claimed you had done, or did
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I, it's so strange because I could not have recounted the pieces and parts. Right. Um, but in a way,
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uh, and I've never really brought this up because it's so unofficial. Yeah. There was no point. I mean,
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this cannot, what I'm about to say could not have been a factor in the very extensive and thorough
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two year and over 250 page official investigation done by the Marine Corps military. Um, but I do
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remember as if my body was a shell and I had no, no cognitive abilities. I do remember being on my knees
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and, and, and moving forward towards something. Now, again, this is just plays into the strangeness
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of it because I don't remember seeing the grenade or thinking about it, but I do remember this empty
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shell of me falling forward. And I remember, uh, if I had to guess being, you know, just knowing my body
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and, and playing sports and rough housing my whole life with my brothers and friends,
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I felt like I was just a few inches from landing on my face on the ground face first. And I remember
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having just those few inches before I got, before I felt like I got hit really hard in the face with
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something. And so in a way I vaguely remember maybe going through the motions, but again, I don't
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remember thinking about it. And, um, you know, they told me that and, uh, we hung up the phone. I thank
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them. Uh, they told me they were proud of me. I told them that I appreciate it and that I would see
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them soon. And, um, you know, that was it. And I, I got on with my, my recovery and my life.
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Well, the truth is, is that you threw yourself on the grenade to throw it to save everyone else.
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Um, and I wanted to start there because I think some people would say that was the defining moment
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of your life, but I don't think it is. I think it's so unnatural for someone to do that, that you had
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to have defining moments in your life way before that would make that just an automatic
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movement. Does that make sense to you? Absolutely. So I want to talk about the defining moment of your
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life that had to have happened before the grenade. What were they? What, what, what makes a man
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automatically do that? Have you found those points? That's, uh, I appreciate you bringing
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this up and that is, um, compared to many other interviews and people's opinions, that's a very
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profound insight because you're exactly right. It's always about that moment and that moment
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defines it defines it for me. And, and there's not too much emphasis on the before or the things
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which I'm most proud of that I've done since. Yeah. But before, like I talk about in the book,
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my foundation, like many people's came from my family and the people that I chose to surround myself
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with growing up and the people that thankfully just happened to, you know, our paths crossed
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from coaches to teachers. So the first part of it is my family. I think first and foremost, just always
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truly loving and supporting me from being there every single second from the moment I was born,
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from every single second from the moment that I woke up and in a way, you know, was born again into this
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bonus round that I'm living now. And for them to always encourage me and my brothers to not only
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find out who we are in the way and time that we need to, uh, uh, but to not inhibit us in any way. And
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even if, uh, the goals or aspirations were seemingly unrealistic or unattainable at the time or altogether
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to make us feel like we could accomplish those things and achieve whatever we wanted to, as long
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as we were good people who worked hard and gave back to others. And so it starts there.
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Uh, but then you go to those other people that helped shape me, the football and baseball coaches,
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my teachers, my, um, you know, um, my friends and all these people that have loved and supported me my
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whole life. But with that said, and I was hesitant to write so much about my parents and my family
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in the book, because I wanted this book to not only transcend all boundaries, but to allow everyone
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to pick it up, understand it and be able to take from it. And I didn't want to turn anyone off from
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it. And I know that I'm very fortunate. And a lot of people are not born into the best home life,
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or they don't have two loving parents that are at every baseball and football game. So I struggle with
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that. And, and, and, but I, I ended up going with it because, you know, for those people that don't get
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that, I wanted to give an example of the love, you know, that you can give as a parent and what you can
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make it through. But all of those other people, my friends and coaches and all of those people,
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people, you know, in life, every experience, every person, every interaction we have,
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everything is an opportunity. And even the bad things, even the bad things you can learn,
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just maybe more importantly, exactly, exactly. You can learn just as much, you know, good and bad from
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people. And so I wasn't aware of it. And I don't believe I realized it at the time. But now looking
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back, I'm so thankful that with every person, friend that I made, every person I worked with through
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in the chicken plant, my boss is there. I always tried to, like you said, look at
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okay, if this person isn't the way I want to act, you know, carry myself, lead people in the
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workplace. I chose to try to take something from everyone and build upon that and think about it.
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And so, you know, with my family's foundation, and all of those incredible people, and the people
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that taught me how I maybe didn't want to conduct myself in my life, that, along with the third and
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very important kind of factor into this, is as Marines, starting out as recruits, going to boot camp,
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from the moment you pull up in that van, and that van door is ripped open by the scariest human being
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you've ever seen. You, you know, no one's got their haircuts yet. No one's got their uniforms.
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Everybody's dressed differently. But you get out of the van very quickly, and you stand on those yellow
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footprints. And from that moment, for the next 13 weeks of boot camp, and for the next four years of your
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career, or 30 years, during boot camp, and as a Marine, your leaders, and your mentors, and your
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chain of command, and those drill instructors, you are, you know, people think, oh, it's your training.
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You know, they're always throwing grenades, fake grenades everywhere, and you're having to jump on
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them. And it's not like that. I don't, I really don't even remember ever doing that. What it is, is
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they teach you through your history and your legacy. When you're doing that final crucible event of boot
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camp to earn that Eagle Globe and anchor. It's a 54 culminating, 54 hour culminating event of everything
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you've learned, trained to do, no sleep, little food, you're, as you always are in the Marine Corps,
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cold, wet, hungry, and absolutely miserable. But in those moments, and you're going through all of these
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obstacles in the crucible, and, and when you're the most run down, and when you need it the most,
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your drill instructors stop you, and every obstacle, there's a plaque. And it tells of
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the courageous and superhuman Marines that came before you. Those generations of Marines that
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at 17, 18, 19 years old, when no one made them, they not only raised their right hand,
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like every generation has so amazingly done, but raise their right hand. They got on those landing
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crafts. And we're told you're probably not even going to make it to have a chance to get out of that
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landing craft. And if you do, there's just as low of a chance that you're going to make it onto the beach
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or pass the beach. Those Marines that cover grenades for their fellow Marines in Vietnam,
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the Marines that died and froze to death fighting in Korea to try to give those people,
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like in Afghanistan, a better way of life to wake up one day and just taste peace, freedom, and hope.
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And so, and so, to hear these stories, I just remember sitting there and thinking,
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first of all, how? And second of all, you know,
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it just makes you realize the uniform that, that you have on and the, the legacy and the sacrifice
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and courage. And again, generations that have worn that uniform and came before you.
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So with all of that said, that day on the roof, even though I don't remember the moments leading
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up to it or thinking about it, I'm thankful and proud that I stepped up.
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Does it surprise you that you, you were of that mindset?
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That I, does it looking, not being able to recognize that you did that, not having no memory of that.
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Yes, absolutely. And, uh, but, uh, the beautiful thing about it is, uh, and, and this is the way I end the book,
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but people tell me all the time, you know, I just don't think I could have done what you did, right?
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Uh, you know, I, I don't even, I don't think I could cover a grenade even, you know, for my closest
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loved ones. I just don't think I could bring myself to do that. And ironically, the last conversation I
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was having before we got hit with my buddy on the roof is what happens because we have been getting
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attacked for nonstop the 24 hours leading up to this moment. Um, but you know, what happens when they
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throw a grenade up here? Half joking to lighten the mood, uh, because it had been eerily quiet for
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the four hours leading up to this attack. Um, but he said, Hey, I'm off the roof. And I said, I'm right
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behind you. But with that said, that is, and just this book as a whole is a journey of the human spirit.
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And those moments on the roof show that the beauty in the human spirit is you never know
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how, when, or to what capacity you're going to step up for your fellow man, for your fellow human
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and big or small, how you're going to be a savior and a hero to those around you.
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So I, I, um, I think some of the people who talk a big game and, you know, you would expect to be heroes.
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Some of them will not be others that you would never expect to do this miraculous thing do.
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Um, I brought my kids to Auschwitz years ago because I believe the world is heading towards
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just catastrophe and hatred and, and groups and all of this stuff. And, uh, I said to them,
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this is when people decide what they're going to do and who they're going to be. It's never in the
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moment. It's never in the moment you, it's not like you ever thought, am I going to jump on a grenade?
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But it was those things that you did to know who you really are, what you believe, who you,
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you know, who you fight for and, and, and, um, and who your teammates are around you.
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And then it's just automatically kicks in. Do you think that's true or not?
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I completely agree. Okay. I completely agree, which is why you're surprised that you did it
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because it wasn't, you weren't thinking, you're not thinking, Oh Jesus will really,
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I might die. It just happens. Absolutely. I mean, I, you know, going off of what you just said,
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I think you really take any aspect of life and, uh, very few things are ever in the moment.
00:26:01.660
Very few things ever come up without the ability to have steps of preparation beforehand.
00:26:10.540
And many times you might not know exactly where those steps will take you clearly. Uh, but I think
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you're exactly right. I think, uh, it's, it's very rare if ever just strictly in the moment and,
00:26:26.780
and only in the moment. And it's what our moms were trying to say. I think when they say,
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show me your friends, I'll show you your future. It's not that they're going to drag you down there
00:26:37.580
or anything else, but you're training yourself to think like that, to be like that, to accept that.
00:26:44.140
And if that's how you're training yourself to be, that's generally who you will be. I was struck by,
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uh, you know, your name of your book is you are worth it. Um, but building a life worth fighting for,
00:27:01.660
I don't think most people understand. I think only those who have had real struggles
00:27:14.940
understand that life and every bit of it is a choice. And if you just let it happen to you,
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you're probably going to not be very fulfilled and happy, and you're probably going to end up a
00:27:27.980
little bitter, you know, but if you understand, I am only a product of what I choose to build life
00:27:37.660
changes. Did you understand that before your grenade? Or was that something you discovered
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after that? Okay. Now I have this massive issue and I'm going to have to rebuild.
00:28:03.420
I think I understood it about as well, I think I understood it just about as well as any
00:28:18.060
teenager or kid growing up. I saw that if I worked hard off the football field in the weight room,
00:28:32.620
that translated to when the lights turned on. I studied ahead of time, which is always a struggle
00:28:42.220
for, uh, for, uh, most kids growing up. The grades correlate in the classroom. And so
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I think I understood it a little bit, but did I actually realize it and, and think about it?
00:29:00.700
Maybe not. But after is where, um, my insight and perspective, because
00:29:08.780
you know, those trials and tribulations came, I got knocked down. And at times I was forced to search
00:29:17.660
through the darkness for those silver linings, those faint glimmers of hope. Um, but, uh, to answer
00:29:26.300
your question, I think most, mostly after. Yeah. Um, it's interesting, you know, we were just talking
00:29:32.700
about, you don't know who you're going to be, you know, it appears to me, you have two heroes in your
00:29:38.940
life, at least two heroes in your life, your mom and dad. And, um, in the book, you talk about how
00:29:46.220
dad kind of fell apart when he first heard about it. Mom was strong. Was it that way? No, it was,
00:29:52.060
mom was fell apart and dad was strong. And then when they got to the hospital and they first saw you,
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dad fell apart and mom all of a sudden stepped to the plate. It was a good tag team effort. Yeah.
00:30:03.980
Yeah. Very hard one, but a good one. And it worked out. How did, uh, how did your parents help you through
00:30:16.780
all of this? Did you have, what were you, what were you feeling about your life? Because a lot of people
00:30:26.460
would go, my life is over. What were you feeling when you became really aware in the hospital of
00:30:34.460
what you were facing? Yeah. So when I really started to wake up and become aware, um, it would be easy
00:30:42.380
to think. And maybe a lot of people would think instantly negative. And this is so detrimental,
00:30:54.060
instant, no hope. But the more I woke up and became more and more lucid, every single
00:31:05.500
realization or every single injury that I had, uh, just made me more and more thankful and surprised
00:31:17.820
and really shocked that I was alive. So did you have a moment? I mean, where did the grenade go off?
00:31:25.100
About here? In the upper right quadrant. How did you live?
00:31:30.780
Yeah. There's still, there's even still a hole in the roof that you can find on Google earth from,
00:31:39.340
and that was, that was part of that two year investigation along with the eyewitnesses.
00:31:45.740
Uh, they brought a post blast analysis team and explosive ordinance disposal team to analyze
00:31:53.660
forensically my gear and the roof. Uh, but one of the pieces in that investigation was, uh,
00:32:01.980
things in life blast forces take the path of least resistance.
00:32:06.140
And my body armor backed by my body weight was stronger and more dense than the roof. So the
00:32:18.780
And so, uh, they found me face down, face first in the crater and with the seat of the blast where it
00:32:31.340
You're a religious guy. I am. Were you religious before then? I was. Yeah. Um, so there has to be
00:32:42.140
something that goes on in your head with a guy who doesn't, isn't prone to thinking poor me. There
00:32:48.860
has to be, what was I saved for? Yeah. And, um,
00:32:55.820
Um, I, you know, after all of this, a lot of people think that, oh, you know, your, your faith and your
00:33:11.580
religion must be stronger than ever and completely unshakable now. And, um, I don't believe any
00:33:25.660
less, but what I went through has unfortunately planted and given me more questions than I had before.
00:33:38.300
Because when I, when I closed my eyes for what I thought was the last time
00:33:54.940
I can't even say darkness because I feel like to know
00:33:59.740
darkness, you have to have a cognizant thought process.
00:34:04.460
Yes. So I guess the only way I can, at least right now, accurately describe it is
00:34:23.180
Correct. And so, and you know, I was resuscitated three times when I got to the first combat trauma
00:34:30.540
hospital. In my medical record on paper, it has PEA beside my name, pulseless electrical activity.
00:34:40.460
And so, you know, I, um, I'm still working through that. I'm still thinking about that.
00:34:47.980
Uh, and like with many of the daunting and tough, impossible questions of life,
00:34:56.220
uh, I think the way, the reason they are those questions is because a lot of times no matter what we do,
00:35:04.460
maybe just living and figuring out, figuring out those answers as we continue on,
00:35:10.460
they might come to us. But I think they are a lot of times the daunting and difficult questions
00:35:19.260
we can't have an answer or we can't rush those answers.
00:35:30.700
But why, why has it bothered you? I mean, you don't remember doing it. What happened? You don't
00:35:35.660
remember all of that. Why has this void bothered you? Why would you, I'm just trying to say, you don't
00:35:44.540
remember so much. Why do you just remember that so vividly and clearly?
00:35:50.460
Well, I think like much of my journey, it's been a, an evolution, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
00:36:03.500
And so the first few years after everything happened, I was frustrated that I couldn't remember
00:36:10.700
the actual moment. And that was probably amplified times a hundred because not because I was just
00:36:21.420
organically frustrated, but the entire world, the military and teams of people out there were,
00:36:33.020
you know, from the ground in Afghanistan to the Pentagon were looking into scrutinizing newspapers,
00:36:40.940
media. Everyone was looking into these few seconds of my life that as much as I wanted to,
00:36:50.700
I could not and probably was never going to be able to remember.
00:36:55.500
And so, and it wasn't frustration that I was worried that one story might come out and then
00:37:05.980
another story. And then I might seem like, even though I didn't really even have testimony or a
00:37:11.900
word and all of this, that I just might seem illegitimate. But then I thought, you know,
00:37:17.740
my Marines that were there with me, no matter what happens, you know, they know who I am,
00:37:23.580
person I am. And just one day thinking about it, I, I finally, it just hit me and I realized
00:37:33.180
how wrong of a mindset and a thought process this was, that I should just be so unbelievably grateful
00:37:44.060
and thankful that I woke up to even be frustrated at this and that I'm alive. And so from that
00:37:51.020
second that I had that realization on, I've never once got frustrated or been out of shape about not
00:38:01.100
So was part of that frustration, because I think I'm hearing you say,
00:38:04.620
because you couldn't remember it, you were afraid this was a fraud.
00:38:14.620
or you were unworthy. Well, you know, newspapers, articles came out and the titles were,
00:38:20.780
did Lance Corporal Carpenter cover this grenade or not? So there was all of that talk going on.
00:38:27.260
And then the Marine Corps and investigators had called me, were called, were talking to everyone
00:38:36.220
that was there. And just, there was just so much rhetoric going on just about moments in my life
00:38:43.900
that I myself didn't have. So I think it was just a mix of everything. And, um, you know,
00:38:52.220
it wasn't so much the fraud thing. It was just that I guess I couldn't contribute to these moments
00:38:59.100
in my own life. Um, do you feel like you deserve the Medal of Honor? I never got asked that before.
00:39:11.100
I am, I'm proud of how I stepped up as a friend and Marine when I needed to be.
00:39:29.100
And as beautiful of a burden and heavy as the medal is, and such responsibility,
00:39:39.660
I am humbled that I have a platform that I can use to connect with, encourage and help others,
00:39:59.820
and also educate and bring to light so many stories that there wasn't Medal of Honors.
00:40:14.220
Whether that was because no one around them survived to tell the tale,
00:40:19.900
or somewhere in some crazy paperwork process, it maybe just didn't happen.
00:40:27.500
And so you realize that's the way somebody who's worthy of that medal would answer that question.
00:40:37.180
Well, that's, I guess, another, uh, thinking point that I need to, uh,
00:40:51.100
in your recovery process, you talk about in the book how, um, you're going to go on a mud run,
00:41:00.380
you're talking about skydiving, and, and mom and dad are like, God, Lord, stop, no, please, don't.
00:41:08.940
And you get to this point where you're like, I can't be afraid. Can you talk about that?
00:41:16.140
Well, um, first of all, Glenn, why'd you have to do this to me? Mom already says that for the rest of her life.
00:41:31.660
And actually specifically speaking about the mud run.
00:41:34.620
Uh, and looking back, you know, now I, uh, it still makes me a little nervous thinking about some of those very high, slippery, muddy obstacles.
00:41:47.660
Um, you know, while I was, uh, doing those, how, how wrong that could have gone.
00:41:53.420
But going into that mud run, and I was only maybe halfway through my three years of recovery.
00:42:01.020
But, uh, leading up to that mud run, I really, you know, sat down and I always tried to, um, think about things deeply.
00:42:11.580
And really self-reflect and not only on where I've been, but also where I'm going.
00:42:19.100
And as I was thinking about that mud run, still surgeries left to go.
00:42:26.280
I just thought, you know, if I don't do this, what else is that going to lead to?
00:42:35.880
And this is part of you building yourself back up.
00:42:40.980
Because you always had like a short thing, didn't you?
00:42:43.200
Didn't you always kind of have an, uh, like I'm short and I'm a little guy and, you know.
00:42:47.600
Well, I think that's just, that's just obvious.
00:42:52.320
Anyone that, uh, sees me, I don't ever think I had to make it known.
00:42:58.920
So you, but you had to kind of do things to make sure that you were like, no, it doesn't stop me from doing anything.
00:43:06.360
So you're now back at that place, except with different reasons for saying.
00:43:12.320
Growing up on the football field and in the weight room and things like that, it, not that I ever just put it out there.
00:43:18.300
Hey, you know, I'm this small guy that's trying to prove something.
00:43:21.660
But when I did prove something, uh, it was, you know, nice rubbing it into the, uh, the older, bigger guys, the guys that were above five foot five.
00:43:30.980
Uh, but not only was I thinking, okay, if I don't do this, what will that lead to?
00:43:39.460
But also if I do break my arm, is that better than not doing it and living with that regret?
00:43:48.720
Uh, and so just working through thought process like that, but you know, I did it and I did not do another one, but I'm very thankful I did.
00:43:58.620
And, and I, just like many parts of my journey, doing that challenge, pushing myself through that, especially during my time in the hospital and when I was still rediscovering myself and building this new life, um, it taught me.
00:44:21.260
And it taught me that I can do more than I think I can right now.
00:44:27.880
And I'm not, you know, just getting back to this new banged up person.
00:44:35.640
I'm getting back to you, a new, potentially even bigger and better me and Kyle.
00:44:54.640
Um, but I understand my father taught me this when I was young, after my mom had a suicide, you know, she's, she committed suicide and alcoholic family divorce, blah, blah, blah.
00:45:07.820
Everything was going by the time I was 30, I was like, poor me.
00:45:11.880
And my father taught me that in a very clever way that there is no bad.
00:45:20.440
And so I look at all the tragedies, you know, and I think, well, I wouldn't want to go through that again.
00:45:33.120
And I'm a better, stronger person because of my failures or because of whatever.
00:45:42.100
And I would not trade anything that I've been through, even that moment on the roof.
00:45:47.580
Now, do I wish I could have taken the entire blast and Nick could have walked away perfectly unharmed and completely fine.
00:46:00.160
And even if I wouldn't have woken up in the hospital five weeks later, yes.
00:46:09.740
Um, no, I, uh, you're grateful for the grenade.
00:46:24.380
Because who I am now, you know, just in a, in a selfish me sense.
00:46:34.780
The experiences I've had, the people I've met, the journey I've had, uh, has, you know, been incredible.
00:46:50.660
So do you ever watch TV or listen to people that are constantly whining about how their life is so bad?
00:47:01.260
And, you know, Greta Thunberg, and I don't, I don't want to get you into names and stuff, but you know, that 16 year old kid, you stole my childhood.
00:47:09.480
Do you ever just watch people on TV and go, are you kidding me?
00:47:20.180
And I'm, I'm actually don't, I don't think I'd want my grenade, my life to be gone.
00:47:32.740
Do you ever, are you always just very empathetic and kind?
00:47:42.980
But one thing I've realized through my journey is struggle is the last thing we should ever compare.
00:47:58.040
And although it's maybe natural to, cause you, you can't not, when you hear other struggles, you obviously can't forget about your struggles.
00:48:11.000
But, uh, I think to compare struggle or who has it worse or who's been through more is a very dangerous thing and can lead to very unhealthy things and a very unhealthy mindset.
00:48:31.600
Uh, but, uh, maybe a story to kind of illustrate this is, I did my three years at Walter Reed.
00:48:41.760
I used my last six, eight months there, which was just a medical board paperwork process to, uh, allow me to medically retire.
00:48:50.520
I had completed all my surgeries and therapy and I used my time, uh, towards the end there to do two internships and, uh, start working on redoing my SAT and ACT test, writing college admissions paperwork.
00:49:08.420
I got a tutor to start coming to the hospital to help me do that.
00:49:13.620
And so after three years in the hospital, right before that, I was toting machine guns through Afghanistan.
00:49:20.080
Two weeks after I left the hospital, I was moving into, uh, and my new apartment in Columbia, South Carolina and walking to freshman classes.
00:49:32.880
And daily, if not daily, if not daily, weekly, students came up to me and it just obviously was much more during my sophomore year after I received the medal.
00:49:50.240
But so many times they would run up and say, oh, you're the guy that won the Purple Heart.
00:49:57.860
You're like, no, kind of, but I didn't enter the annual win of Purple Heart competition, you know?
00:50:07.660
And also I, you know, realized that probably by the way you're asking, you don't know the difference between the medal of honor and the Purple Heart.
00:50:18.380
But at, during those moments, I'm thankful that I realized, because I had to take a deep breath a couple of times.
00:50:26.820
And I had to realize that just like we said at the beginning, every encounter, every opportunity, every crossroads in life, good or bad, is a choice.
00:50:43.320
And in that moment, I could have got frustrated, told them, you know, what I could have in a very Marine, aggressive-like manner.
00:50:57.620
But not only would that have probably turned them off for me, but it would have, you know, given them what they might think is an idea of how all Marines are.
00:51:13.720
And they wouldn't have gotten properly educated on the difference between the Purple Heart and the Medal of Honor and the fact that we don't set out to win these medals.
00:51:36.140
That comes from the badge of merit from Washington in the Revolutionary War.
00:51:41.760
It was the first award given to an enlisted man in the history of battle.
00:51:59.260
And you were put into his, I think it was called the Book of Remembrance, because he believed that if we were going to win against England, we had to be people that were good and honorable and decent.
00:52:17.220
And if you were caught doing something of merit, if you were doing something good, that's how you got the Purple Heart.
00:52:25.100
We only rediscovered this turn of last century.
00:52:30.180
There's only three Purple Hearts left from the Revolutionary War.
00:52:41.220
Not just the way that the FDR from that point on says it.
00:53:00.180
So you deserve both of them for now and back then.
00:53:09.180
Not long ago, I'm walking downtown in Columbia.
00:53:17.900
I passed two homeless men talking on the street.
00:53:20.960
I just came from a meeting, was dressed up, and one of them said kindly,
00:53:27.320
And I admit, I waited for the follow-up question if I had any money.
00:53:31.220
But as I continued walking, nothing else was said.
00:53:35.780
I reached my car, but I couldn't shake him from my mind.
00:53:39.480
Half my brain was telling me to turn around and talk to him, and the other half was telling
00:53:45.140
I stood there with the car door open, wrestling with myself what I should do.
00:53:50.000
It seemed silly to walk all the way back there, but I couldn't get into my car.
00:53:54.920
I didn't know what I was doing, but I thought to myself,
00:53:58.260
What if this is the last time you see this nice man?
00:54:01.240
I think we as people have this thought all the time, all the time.
00:54:10.040
And we have that argument in our head all the time.
00:54:21.900
But it makes a difference if you act on that and exercise that muscle every time, doesn't it?
00:54:48.600
I mean, that story, shout out to my man, Kenny, by the way.
00:54:52.540
But emotional, I mean, that story still chokes me up, because we go on to talk, and he asked
00:55:03.200
me, and I offered to go get him some snacks at the college mart up the street.
00:55:09.240
And he asked me, hey, can you get me some cigarettes?
00:55:13.140
And immediately pointed out that he doesn't smoke.
00:55:15.840
And so, of course, I had to ask, you know, Kenny, why do you need cigarettes if you don't smoke?
00:55:21.460
And he told me that cigarettes are like gold down at the homeless shelter, that he can sell each one for $2.
00:55:30.820
And then that allows him to get more food, you know, for the days ahead.
00:55:39.100
And you're right, I think we are presented with those dilemmas, opportunities, situations all the time.
00:55:49.620
And I'm just, I'm proud of myself, but I'm thankful that I didn't shut the car door and I turned around,
00:56:03.140
And it just reminded me that, you know, life is, life is not only choices, but it's something
00:56:23.400
And you, we always have to strive to continue to remind ourselves and to understand and empathize
00:56:37.780
that there are so many people in this country, around the world, that wake up every day and
00:56:51.120
and from not knowing what school is, to not having shoes on their feet,
00:57:01.480
to not knowing where their next meal is going to come from.
00:57:12.080
Did you, there's a difference between kindness, being gracious, being helpful,
00:57:39.080
Do you think your journey has given that to you, or have you always had that empathetic side?
00:57:51.640
But my journey has heightened it and continuously refines it.
00:58:03.740
I think empathy, I think this is, I think it's like a muscle.
00:58:07.420
I think the more you listen to that voice and you make the choice of don't get into the car,
00:58:14.400
Yeah, and maybe it really started when I was in high school.
00:58:21.000
I went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic.
00:58:24.780
And for a week there, we built a couple of schools and churches
00:58:30.140
and just hung out with the local kids, played soccer.
00:58:34.160
But it was so, just, so profound to me when we got there.
00:58:44.680
And we were walking and making our way to this neighborhood where we were going to help and work.
00:58:52.740
And as we got closer, we were working our way down into a landfill.
00:59:00.280
We get to the bottom of this landfill and there are shacks all over the place.
00:59:06.860
And the people there, not only could they have not been happier.
00:59:14.920
I mean, they're amazing, struggling every day of their lives, but so happy.
00:59:21.300
And just so thankful for us to bring a soccer ball to them.
00:59:25.260
And so I think I've always been empathetic growing up.
00:59:32.120
But when that happened, that really planted that seed of empathy.
00:59:37.740
And I got to truly see not everywhere in the world is like the southeast of the United States growing up.
00:59:49.580
And so I'm so, like many parts of my journey, I'm so thankful for that.
01:00:02.980
For weeks afterward, I would wake up wondering, now what?
01:00:07.600
Every morning started with a question for which I didn't have an answer,
01:00:11.660
except to do whatever the next thing was that day.
01:00:15.440
I developed a daily mantra, and I still say something similar to myself each morning.
01:00:20.180
I don't know what I want to do, or how I'm going to do it, or where I might end up.
01:00:26.340
But as long as I work hard, try to do the right thing, try to be a good person, and try to help people,
01:00:35.260
You kind of dismiss that as, you know, you say, that's not the profound piece of wisdom that, you know, has ever been uttered.
01:00:46.960
But I think this is why your story is so important and impactful, is it's really back to basics.
01:01:07.060
But if you just work hard, try to do the right thing, be kind to people, things will work out, and you'll be good.
01:01:15.580
And on top of that, I think it's important to remind people that you don't always have to have a perfect plan.
01:01:33.680
the smallest of steps eventually completes the grandest of journeys.
01:01:37.140
And after that first initial three months of recovery at Walter Reed in Richmond, Virginia,
01:01:47.440
at the time, instead of going back up to Walter Reed,
01:01:53.600
late 2010 through 2011, there were so many casualties coming in that,
01:02:00.160
at one point, they started overflowing beds into the hallway.
01:02:09.340
And so knowing that I had many years left for them to put Humpty Dumpty back together again,
01:02:17.160
they allowed me, and also getting to know my family over those months,
01:02:24.660
knowing that my family was going to really look out and take care of me,
01:02:28.920
and they allowed me to go home to recover from March until that September of 2011,
01:02:38.640
when a new, very nice, Wounded Warrior barracks building was going to open up on Walter Reed
01:03:07.820
the agreement was that I could go home and recover,
01:03:14.200
as long as we agreed that mom would drive me back up to D.C.
01:03:21.960
And I would do therapy at my local clinic in Lexington, South Carolina.
01:03:32.000
and I went to take on the daunting task of making myself a bowl of cereal.
01:03:45.380
I hadn't had the nerve surgeries to repair those,
01:04:03.540
The milk might as well have been a 100-pound dumbbell.
01:04:17.660
and I was still many facial and oral reconstructive surgeries away
01:04:22.200
from having any sort of form or teeth in there.
01:05:05.800
not only was I frustrated with the task at hand,
01:05:36.060
And that has been by far the hardest part of my whole journey,
01:05:40.100
seeing them on the other side of that hospital bed.
01:07:13.240
and I'm so thankful that I broke in that moment
01:07:15.940
because it gave me a lifelong lesson and realization
01:08:30.000
You don't have to know exactly what you're doing,