The Glenn Beck Program - Ep 91 ｜ The Cheerleader Who Battled Suicidal Thoughts： How Nicole Arbour Got Back Up ｜ Nicole Arbour

00:00:00.000 When people become famous, we wait for them to either disappoint us or surprise us.

00:00:05.160 And often their initial radiance fades.

00:00:10.220 But I am convinced no matter what is happening now, America loves an underdog story.

00:00:16.300 We love the person who is fighting for their life against all the odds.

00:00:21.000 So who is that person?

00:00:23.340 What we really want is a person who impresses us and then surpasses our expectations.

00:00:31.720 Well, let me tell you, I have I can't wait to introduce you to that person.

00:00:38.180 Her accomplishments are so random that it feels like she's living a mad lib.

00:00:43.840 Her first job was as junior prime minister of Canada.

00:00:47.520 She was a cheerleader for the Toronto Raptors.

00:00:50.740 And it's an NBA team.

00:00:52.380 Come on, I know sports.

00:00:53.960 She's also a comedian.

00:00:55.420 She has an honorary star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

00:00:58.800 In her early 20s, she had her own Sports Illustrated calendar.

00:01:03.400 Every month was her.

00:01:06.020 Then there was a surreal appearance on The View.

00:01:08.880 An ambush.

00:01:10.220 The reliably humorless hosts tried to berate her for poking fun at PC culture and her viral video, which was Dear Fat People.

00:01:22.380 I took deep offense to it.

00:01:24.900 But her story is much more complicated than that.

00:01:29.220 And you're about to see it.

00:01:30.880 Right as her life was going perfectly, in one instant, getting out of a car, everything was ripped away.

00:01:38.920 For years, she suffered through indescribable pain.

00:01:43.580 One night as she was about to completely give up, she made a deal with God.

00:01:50.120 If you let me come back, I promise I will bring as many people as I possibly can with me.

00:01:54.900 You are going to love the happiest, most complex person you probably have ever met, Nicole Arbor on the Glenn Beck Podcast.

00:02:07.260 You know, I really hate the way people are watching this podcast and just looking at me like a piece of meat.

00:02:14.720 I'm not.

00:02:15.900 Hey, my eyes are up here.

00:02:19.560 And so is my hair.

00:02:20.840 Well, my hair used to be much better up there.

00:02:24.680 But, you know, then I think I just got too fat for my head.

00:02:30.720 And now that's why it's so thin.

00:02:31.960 It's just that it's had to spread out so far as my head got so fat.

00:02:36.620 Actually, I've been losing my hair.

00:02:38.680 My dad was completely bald by the time he was 20.

00:02:41.320 And it was always my biggest fear.

00:02:43.500 I have been in a full-fledged panic with every hair follicle that came out.

00:02:48.200 Don't go through that.

00:02:49.640 It is so easy now with Keeps.com.

00:02:52.700 You can go to Keeps from the comfort of your lazy boy.

00:02:55.620 You can just take a couple of pictures of your head.

00:02:58.340 You send them into the website, and they have a doctor, you know, on staff that will give you the same recommended FDA-approved hair loss treatment,

00:03:09.760 except Keeps offers the generic versions, and it's about half the cost.

00:03:13.980 And it's all online.

00:03:15.660 You answer a few questions.

00:03:17.840 Licensed doctor reviews it, gives you the prescription, but doesn't just give you the prescription.

00:03:22.680 Keeps actually takes that prescription, turns it into the medicine, and then sends it directly to your door.

00:03:30.180 Don't have to go outside your house.

00:03:32.380 I mean, what's more 2020 than that?

00:03:35.960 My eyes are up here.

00:03:38.920 People are sick.

00:03:41.280 Go to Keeps.com.

00:03:42.640 K-E-E-P-S dot com slash save.

00:03:45.740 50% off your first order.

00:03:47.540 Keeps hair loss treatments.

00:03:48.840 So, first of all, you notice you brought a blanket.

00:04:03.600 Have you been warned?

00:04:04.640 I've been warned.

00:04:05.480 It's freezing.

00:04:06.440 It's a little chilly.

00:04:07.340 It'll keep me alert.

00:04:08.260 I like that.

00:04:08.800 Yeah.

00:04:11.160 Let me ask you, as a comedian.

00:04:12.760 Yes.

00:04:13.440 What the hell happened to comedy?

00:04:14.740 When did comedians become such a pain in the ass?

00:04:19.740 I think it was about the time that all the network heads were lame, had no senses of humor, and were just good at business.

00:04:27.000 So, they didn't care about the actual product anymore.

00:04:29.120 They just cared, can we sell it?

00:04:30.720 Did they look like a comedian?

00:04:32.980 Yeah.

00:04:33.480 I think that's what happened.

00:04:34.760 All the best comics aren't on Comedy Central anymore.

00:04:37.500 All the best comics are online.

00:04:39.680 And that's why it's coming back, though.

00:04:41.780 You think so?

00:04:42.300 100%.

00:04:42.940 I would bet everything I have that comedy, a resurgence like the 80s, is coming, and it's coming now.

00:04:48.580 So, who are your heroes in comedy?

00:04:51.220 George Carlin.

00:04:52.120 Yeah.

00:04:52.560 Number one.

00:04:54.560 It might sound silly, but Lucille Ball, what she did for physical comedy.

00:04:59.520 I had Lucille all over my room as a kid.

00:05:02.080 I have Lucille Ball's makeup table that she used on stage two during the I Love Lucy years, all the way, bought it after she died.

00:05:13.400 What?

00:05:13.760 It was in her bedroom.

00:05:15.040 She still applied her makeup with that table every day.

00:05:17.900 What?

00:05:18.380 It's amazing.

00:05:18.740 I'm going to nerd out.

00:05:19.960 Yeah, I'll show it to you.

00:05:20.420 Oh, that's so cool.

00:05:21.400 My hands started sweating.

00:05:22.360 I got so excited.

00:05:23.120 I call my daughter Lucy because she's just like you.

00:05:27.980 She's very bubbly.

00:05:28.700 She's a cheerleader.

00:05:29.660 And she is hysterical.

00:05:31.940 Just hysterical.

00:05:32.980 Yay.

00:05:33.040 And she always has been.

00:05:34.340 She's just been Lucille Ball.

00:05:36.340 Most people don't.

00:05:37.480 That's so fun.

00:05:38.580 They don't recognize.

00:05:39.500 The timing on that show.

00:05:40.060 And he was just as amazing.

00:05:43.020 Exactly.

00:05:43.500 And, you know, all her friends and even the neighbors and everyone on that show, like that was such solid comedy writing and the physical comedy of that chocolate scene.

00:05:52.880 Oh, yeah.

00:05:53.900 Really good.

00:05:54.540 So definitely Lucille Ball.

00:05:55.780 And I like, you know, Dick Van Dyke.

00:05:58.660 And I like.

00:05:59.500 Wow, you are an old soul.

00:06:01.860 I like the entertainers.

00:06:03.660 I like the ones who did it all.

00:06:05.920 You know, it seems like Hollywood the last few years want people to be this thing, be one thing.

00:06:10.640 And just you're just that.

00:06:11.740 But you're not, I mean, first of all, that's not real people.

00:06:15.540 But it's not even that.

00:06:16.840 It's just you have to toe the line.

00:06:19.300 You have to say the right thing.

00:06:21.320 You have to be for the right thing.

00:06:23.040 Yeah.

00:06:23.960 And comedy is, I mean, I saw this article.

00:06:28.580 You know, Eric Clapton's coming out with a new song.

00:06:30.380 I didn't know that.

00:06:31.080 Go on.

00:06:31.720 Coming out with a new song.

00:06:32.700 Van Morrison wrote it.

00:06:34.220 Van Morrison has been getting into trouble lately because he's writing songs.

00:06:41.740 That are anti-lockdown.

00:06:44.120 And so he went to Clapton and said, would you record this?

00:06:48.840 Do you want to record this?

00:06:49.820 And Clapton jumped at the chance.

00:06:51.820 He's releasing it, I think, later this month or early next month.

00:06:56.620 Yeah.

00:06:57.260 But he's getting heat.

00:06:58.580 All of the people are saying, how dare you?

00:07:00.800 When did rock and roll, when did that become Ann Murray?

00:07:04.600 It didn't.

00:07:05.380 So I have a very good friend that his label is mad at him.

00:07:10.640 And he's a rock star, a metal rock star.

00:07:13.760 They're mad and like Spotify and the streaming stations and radio stations are mad that he's

00:07:18.220 making rock that says something and is anti-establishment, which means anti-lockdown, which means stand

00:07:24.660 up for America, patriot, do the right thing, be a good human.

00:07:28.860 I was like, that's what the fuck rock is.

00:07:31.060 This is what comedy is.

00:07:32.440 We got to say the shit that's real.

00:07:34.200 And if you're not letting art be art anymore, then you should probably go away.

00:07:37.740 Not me.

00:07:38.560 You need to go away and let real people be real people and have a range of emotions.

00:07:42.500 Isn't it weird how everything has just been like, Muse is one of my, what used to be one

00:07:52.780 of my favorite bands when they were really, okay, really great.

00:07:56.000 Love them.

00:07:56.820 Love the lyrics.

00:07:57.980 They're brilliant.

00:07:58.940 They are so anti-establishment.

00:08:01.240 Yeah.

00:08:01.580 They get it.

00:08:02.880 Yep.

00:08:03.620 They hate me.

00:08:06.060 Oh.

00:08:06.520 Oh yeah, I know.

00:08:07.060 It killed me.

00:08:07.560 I read about it in Rolling Stone and I wrote an op-ed for Rolling Stone going, wait a minute,

00:08:12.640 I think you have the wrong guy.

00:08:15.420 It's so weird that this time is making bizarre friendships, bizarre bedfellows.

00:08:26.080 Uh-huh.

00:08:26.600 You don't, you, because there's something, it's freedom.

00:08:31.700 It's the one thing that runs through is freedom.

00:08:34.200 Yeah.

00:08:34.620 How did we get from rage against the machine to do what the machine says?

00:08:38.840 Right.

00:08:39.300 It's just like, no.

00:08:39.920 All these people are so, they're getting awards.

00:08:41.600 They're so brave.

00:08:42.980 Oh.

00:08:43.120 No, you're not.

00:08:44.220 Yeah, you're not.

00:08:45.360 You're the, it's, everyone said it, but we're living in idiocracy and someone, actually

00:08:51.100 multiple people have said this to me recently.

00:08:52.580 They're like, Nicole, your videos are hitting so hard recently because you're just telling

00:08:56.180 the truth, which is all I ever do and just make it silly.

00:08:58.340 But they're like, reality has gone so crazy that all you have to do is report the news

00:09:04.940 and just say it with a straight face.

00:09:07.560 And everyone's like, whoa, that's fucked.

00:09:10.360 What happened?

00:09:11.600 And I think we let it happen though.

00:09:13.380 It's our fault.

00:09:14.060 It's my fault.

00:09:14.520 It's your fault.

00:09:15.040 It's everyone in this room's fault.

00:09:16.340 We let this happen.

00:09:17.880 You know, I pushed so many viral videos over the last few years just trying to tell the

00:09:22.360 truth and all you got backlash.

00:09:25.160 Oh no, backlash.

00:09:26.140 I'm like, what the fuck does backlash mean?

00:09:27.660 It means some loser sitting writing their blog was like, I don't like this because I'm

00:09:30.960 fat.

00:09:31.300 And she said, fat people should work out.

00:09:32.940 Yeah.

00:09:33.060 Well, they're dead from COVID because they didn't work out.

00:09:35.020 It's true.

00:09:35.580 Half the people that were mad at that video probably died already.

00:09:37.440 Just based on statistics.

00:09:38.260 I'm a little upset because I thought you were attacking me because I am, I'm not just fat

00:09:41.520 because you talked about it.

00:09:42.580 Yeah.

00:09:43.120 I'm not just fat.

00:09:44.040 Okay.

00:09:44.480 I'm, I like, I'm out of breath when I roll over at night.

00:09:48.180 You know what I mean?

00:09:48.760 Oh, that's a bit much.

00:09:49.740 Yeah.

00:09:50.160 See?

00:09:50.540 We can work on this.

00:09:51.620 You were talking about me and as I'm watching it, I'm laughing because it's true.

00:09:56.960 And people can make jokes.

00:09:58.200 It's absolutely true.

00:09:59.800 And anyone can say anything true to me and I'll laugh.

00:10:02.200 Right.

00:10:02.440 Because that's called, you know, having a sense of humor.

00:10:04.960 Right.

00:10:05.280 And if it is true and someone's like, hey, Nicole, you do this and blah, I'm like, yeah,

00:10:08.440 I do.

00:10:09.040 Yeah.

00:10:09.760 Because I'm self-aware and it's okay to be self-aware and it's okay to jab at everything

00:10:14.240 in reality.

00:10:15.180 So why is it?

00:10:18.120 The stupids have taken over, Glenn.

00:10:19.900 The stupids have taken over.

00:10:20.940 It really has.

00:10:21.460 Because the people who claim to be the most self-aware are absolutely blind, deaf, and

00:10:27.660 dumb.

00:10:28.100 Yes.

00:10:28.320 I mean, they...

00:10:29.240 And drugged.

00:10:30.120 They're drugged up.

00:10:31.120 Yeah.

00:10:32.120 Gosh, this is another thing in Hollywood.

00:10:33.720 I was like, wow.

00:10:35.160 All of you people that are like claiming to be health and wellness and then we're talking

00:10:39.540 about my spirituality.

00:10:40.400 I'm like, you're high as fuck.

00:10:42.360 I went in your bathroom.

00:10:43.400 I can see what's on your nightstand.

00:10:45.260 You're in front of me popping pills.

00:10:46.880 I have high anxiety because blah, blah, blah.

00:10:48.700 No, you have high anxiety because you live a lie.

00:10:51.480 Like, let's bring it back to the spiritual baseline here.

00:10:54.860 You hate yourself.

00:10:56.000 You hate your job.

00:10:56.940 You hate the facade you created.

00:10:59.680 This is why we're depressed.

00:11:01.160 And then instead of saying that to people, we put them on prescription meds.

00:11:04.600 And then that gives them gut health issues.

00:11:06.060 So now they need another prescription med.

00:11:07.920 And then America's drugged up.

00:11:10.000 And then idiots can take over power because we're blind, deaf, and dumb now.

00:11:13.520 And we're just liars.

00:11:14.980 We're just liars.

00:11:16.060 That's what happened.

00:11:17.320 I was...

00:11:18.800 I mean, I'm still an alcoholic.

00:11:20.920 But I think I'm over it now.

00:11:22.760 So I can drink at any time.

00:11:24.480 No.

00:11:25.520 But I...

00:11:27.060 People used to say...

00:11:30.620 Or I used to say to people that my motto is,

00:11:34.760 I hate people.

00:11:36.680 Because I really did.

00:11:38.320 I hated people.

00:11:40.620 And then I sobered up.

00:11:43.520 And about three years into sobriety, you know, it starts to work for you, you know.

00:11:49.220 And I realized, no, I hated me.

00:11:54.480 Ooh.

00:11:55.560 I hated me.

00:11:56.840 Bars.

00:11:57.540 And you're the first person.

00:12:01.080 You've said several things to me recently that I just...

00:12:03.800 I'm like, yes, you're the first person that I've heard say this.

00:12:07.100 Yay.

00:12:07.940 Hollywood hates themselves.

00:12:11.620 They do hate themselves.

00:12:13.360 They do.

00:12:14.120 And I don't blame them.

00:12:15.660 You're doing...

00:12:16.540 But the way that they act is not okay.

00:12:19.860 They know deep down, like a girl knows, you're starving yourself to fit into that outfit.

00:12:26.380 You gave a blowjob to get that role.

00:12:28.360 Uh, and now you're banging old men on the side and have your OnlyFans to maintain this

00:12:33.040 fake Instagram lifestyle between your roles that you get by blowing some old dude.

00:12:37.600 You're not happy.

00:12:39.140 And this is what's actually going on.

00:12:40.680 And then you're going to go march in the pussy march with the pussy hat and be like,

00:12:43.820 me too.

00:12:45.060 No, stop it.

00:12:46.240 Like, just, just stop lying.

00:12:47.880 Stop it.

00:12:48.680 If you're talented enough, you will make it.

00:12:50.400 If the gatekeepers won't let you through, make your own gate.

00:12:53.160 But, like, this is reality.

00:12:56.920 Because I, I came from nothing.

00:13:01.100 I mean, my dad was a baker and he lost his bakery because, you know, it's a typical story.

00:13:09.120 And I was just taught by him, you can do anything.

00:13:12.900 You can do anything.

00:13:14.040 Yeah.

00:13:14.660 So I did.

00:13:15.640 And I found myself in this place and I'm like, what the...

00:13:19.620 This place is awesome, by the way.

00:13:21.240 Yeah, thank you.

00:13:21.720 Like, most people probably won't get to visit, but, like, this place is dope.

00:13:24.960 Yeah.

00:13:25.200 You walk in and you get that, like, Disneyland feel.

00:13:27.140 Like, ooh, someone built this.

00:13:28.900 Yeah.

00:13:29.480 It's kind of my chocolate factory.

00:13:31.420 Ooh.

00:13:31.960 But...

00:13:32.960 This is why you're fat.

00:13:34.320 I'm just kidding.

00:13:34.640 It is.

00:13:35.220 It is why you're fat.

00:13:37.200 But when I was at Fox and CNN, went one to the other, I realized there is a gatekeeper.

00:13:46.460 You can only go so far, and particularly the President of the United States, if you're not

00:13:55.980 okayed by the big circle of people that are at the very top level, you ain't going anywhere.

00:14:05.600 Yep.

00:14:05.780 The only reason why Donald Trump could break that is because, A, he knew that circle inside

00:14:14.080 and out, and he also knew exactly how to talk to the people who had the power to help him

00:14:24.140 break that circle.

00:14:25.180 Cool.

00:14:26.060 But now he's out.

00:14:26.980 Yep.

00:14:27.240 First of all, what happened there?

00:14:32.360 He swamped too much.

00:14:36.140 Like, he stirred up too much shit.

00:14:37.720 They were like, we can't handle the truth that's coming up.

00:14:40.480 I swear, everything comes back to truth.

00:14:42.520 So over the last few years, think of all the truth that started bubbling up from the Epsteins

00:14:47.060 to even the Me Too's and the Hollywood stuff to the child pedophilia, all this stuff that came up.

00:14:54.780 You know, the Hunter Biden, all these things.

00:14:56.640 And that side is just, to me, the left right now is like an addict that has a family intervention

00:15:05.280 and they're denying that they have a problem.

00:15:08.120 They're sick.

00:15:08.980 They're all sick.

00:15:10.320 I don't think they're bad people, but I think their morals are ill and they're sick.

00:15:15.280 They think we're sick.

00:15:16.980 I know.

00:15:17.960 I mean, there are those who, you know, blacklist isn't good enough.

00:15:23.240 You'll never work.

00:15:24.060 You shouldn't be a part of society.

00:15:25.360 We may have to re-educate you.

00:15:28.900 Oh, yeah.

00:15:30.420 Hitler.

00:15:31.200 Yeah.

00:15:31.800 Good luck, guys.

00:15:33.300 But to me, it's just like an alcoholic or a drug addict.

00:15:37.400 It's like, I don't have a problem.

00:15:38.340 I'm having fun.

00:15:39.120 Your life sucks.

00:15:39.960 I'm partying every night, banging a different chick.

00:15:41.920 And it's like, really?

00:15:43.580 Because I can see in your eyes you're not happy.

00:15:45.620 And I know the people in Hollywood.

00:15:47.220 I know the people in LA.

00:15:48.080 I know people that are very high up in all those circles.

00:15:51.160 They are depressed human beings.

00:15:53.720 Their families are majority shambles.

00:15:56.600 And they just take that photo for People Magazine.

00:15:58.860 And then they go back to the actual fakeness.

00:16:02.180 Because nothing's real.

00:16:03.700 Yeah.

00:16:04.000 It's not real.

00:16:04.800 Until we get back to real.

00:16:07.000 And don't get me wrong.

00:16:08.280 There's conservatives, I'm sure, are full of shit, too.

00:16:10.960 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:16:11.440 I feel like there is a baseline of values that I see more on the conservative side.

00:16:17.820 That I just, there are no values over there other than be nice to LGBT, which I'm down with, of course.

00:16:23.680 Duh.

00:16:24.400 And, you know, everyone should be treated equally.

00:16:27.300 Just be nice to people.

00:16:28.400 Two people.

00:16:29.480 That's the foundation.

00:16:30.800 That's the foundation.

00:16:31.760 Just live the mission statement in the Declaration of Independence.

00:16:37.220 Just be that person.

00:16:38.400 Yeah, that's pretty easy.

00:16:39.400 Everybody is equal.

00:16:41.060 They're all created equal.

00:16:42.140 It's what you do with it.

00:16:43.400 Yeah.

00:16:43.640 You know, but I don't care about your business.

00:16:46.100 I don't care if you go to church, what church you go to.

00:16:48.720 I don't care what you do.

00:16:51.640 Just be cool.

00:16:53.180 This is where it comes in, though, Glenn, is it's the me, me, me, me, me society going on.

00:16:57.600 And specifically, I see on this side, where it's, you have to care who I sleep with.

00:17:03.100 You have to care what I want to call myself.

00:17:05.240 You have to care about these made up words.

00:17:07.060 And you better call me them or you're a bad person.

00:17:09.300 It's like, no, I don't have to care about you.

00:17:11.540 I have to love you as a human being.

00:17:13.380 I don't have to care who you put your dick in.

00:17:15.520 I don't.

00:17:16.240 Like, I don't care what their sex is.

00:17:17.640 I don't care what race.

00:17:18.480 I don't, I don't care.

00:17:20.040 I care that you're a good person.

00:17:21.120 Are you thriving?

00:17:22.220 Dope.

00:17:22.560 That's it.

00:17:22.940 And they lose it when you won't play these stupid games, when it's just rooted in ego.

00:17:28.480 It's just, it's control.

00:17:29.860 You want to control me and make you call me they.

00:17:32.120 That's poor English.

00:17:33.340 I won't do it.

00:17:34.600 I won't do it.

00:17:35.020 Me read good.

00:17:36.360 Yeah.

00:17:37.360 Real good.

00:17:38.540 Yeah.

00:17:38.880 I just, this is what I see.

00:17:40.660 And this is why I identify with people like Jordan Peterson and Michaela Peterson, his daughter.

00:17:43.800 She's a friend of mine.

00:17:44.460 She's dope.

00:17:44.960 Uh, we're just like, no, we're not playing stupid and this is ego based and you need to

00:17:50.080 go back to your meditation class and start releasing some of that because we're wasting

00:17:55.060 our lives as you know, I know, you know, a bit of my backstory, but as someone who's

00:17:59.440 been in hard situations, we make our lives harder.

00:18:03.920 We're making up fights that don't go anywhere.

00:18:06.900 I want to get to your backstory a little later, but I, um, uh, I have a 16 year old son.

00:18:13.840 Um, don't ever have one.

00:18:15.540 Okay.

00:18:16.000 Um, uh, send them around, send them away around 12, get them back maybe around 20, something

00:18:23.040 like that.

00:18:23.420 Yeah.

00:18:23.540 I'm sure that'll work out well.

00:18:24.280 Yeah.

00:18:24.700 Um, but, uh, uh, I keep saying to him, dude, what are you doing?

00:18:30.000 What are you crazy?

00:18:30.760 It's stop.

00:18:32.460 Life is not supposed to be this hard.

00:18:36.960 Everybody makes it so hard because they're, because they're focused on.

00:18:42.740 Me and my feelings and what I feel instead of just being like, dude, you know, I said

00:18:49.700 to my kids when they were, when they were really young, we used to have chair, um, and

00:18:54.680 it had all the virtues on the back of each chair and whatever, whatever virtue you needed,

00:18:59.740 you better sit in that chair.

00:19:00.580 Um, and, uh, the one that my kids hated was endurance.

00:19:08.480 Ooh.

00:19:09.280 And I said, they said, dad, endurance.

00:19:12.140 It sounds so bad.

00:19:13.480 I said, most of life you just have to endure.

00:19:18.880 Yes.

00:19:19.920 Just sail on through.

00:19:21.840 Just endure it.

00:19:23.460 Yeah.

00:19:23.840 They all said I was wrong until they started, you know, getting into their twenties and thirties.

00:19:28.400 And then they're like, oh my gosh, it is.

00:19:31.860 And if you could just grab onto that one, you're cool.

00:19:34.840 Yeah.

00:19:35.940 It's going to turn around.

00:19:37.340 I say this to people who are suicidal.

00:19:38.700 I say this to people who might be being canceled and they come to me and be like, what do I do?

00:19:43.200 Heck, heck, shout out to Bitcoin today.

00:19:45.100 I endured that.

00:19:46.120 It's doing pretty well.

00:19:47.780 I'm having a good Bitcoin day.

00:19:49.220 Yeah.

00:19:49.620 Yeah.

00:19:50.060 So it's.

00:19:50.540 And I had the bad Bitcoin days.

00:19:52.240 There you go.

00:19:53.400 I remember last, was it last year that it like fell or was it two years ago?

00:19:57.420 Two years ago.

00:19:57.640 Yeah.

00:19:57.980 That I was having a great day and then I had a really bad long time.

00:20:02.440 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:20:03.580 Well, it's back on today.

00:20:04.660 I don't know.

00:20:04.880 Yeah.

00:20:04.980 I know.

00:20:05.400 I dropped my little blankie.

00:20:06.420 Here we go.

00:20:07.040 You dropped your blanket?

00:20:07.860 I got it again.

00:20:09.940 So, first of all, let me ask you, because you mentioned Jordan Peterson.

00:20:13.640 Yes.

00:20:14.100 What the hell is it with the Canadians?

00:20:16.280 I mean, you are out freedom.

00:20:17.980 Freedom.

00:20:18.800 I mean, not as a country.

00:20:20.440 Yeah.

00:20:20.920 But as individuals, you guys are.

00:20:23.480 There's several Canadians that are coming down going.

00:20:27.260 Hey, how are you guys doing?

00:20:28.460 You know what?

00:20:29.020 We grew up making fun of ourselves.

00:20:31.140 We don't.

00:20:32.580 It's a different sense of humor that we grow up with.

00:20:35.660 And, you know, people can say whatever they want, but racism in Canada.

00:20:38.640 It is not the same as America.

00:20:40.480 Stop trying to put our diet soda in the in the soda category.

00:20:44.160 It's not the same.

00:20:45.920 We don't have the...

00:20:46.780 Racism in Canada is not the same as America?

00:20:48.740 No.

00:20:49.640 Absolutely not.

00:20:50.580 What does that mean?

00:20:51.460 We don't...

00:20:52.840 Like, I've had American friends be like, I experienced these hate crimes.

00:20:56.660 I experienced this and that.

00:20:58.400 Canadians are not bred to act like that.

00:21:00.980 There might be off-color jokes.

00:21:02.480 I've definitely heard a lot of those in my life.

00:21:03.900 But I hear them about blondes.

00:21:05.100 So, I don't feel, and I've never seen, and I speak with other people of every color who

00:21:11.400 are my friends in Canada, they haven't really experienced, like, hardcore racism.

00:21:15.860 Like, you can't have this job because of this color.

00:21:18.200 You know, like, it's just not the same.

00:21:19.580 I don't think anybody who is 30 has, that there's a big population in America that has

00:21:27.340 had that.

00:21:27.900 Yeah.

00:21:28.260 You talk about the 60, people are like, it's so bad now.

00:21:31.320 Now, really read Martin Luther King.

00:21:34.140 Yeah.

00:21:34.880 Read Up From Slavery.

00:21:36.820 Please.

00:21:37.100 Just look at, like, the highest paid athletes, entrepreneurs, et cetera, et cetera.

00:21:42.880 There's a lot of black people on those lists.

00:21:45.520 Yeah.

00:21:45.760 Yeah.

00:21:46.180 You're doing okay.

00:21:47.380 And the thing is, I don't accept...

00:21:50.080 I'll get back to the Canadian thing, but I don't accept excuses.

00:21:52.180 I just don't.

00:21:52.960 I'm from a blue-collar family.

00:21:54.380 I could sink or I could swim.

00:21:55.820 That's it.

00:21:56.640 And you pick.

00:21:58.260 You pick which one you're going to do, and then you go for it.

00:22:00.520 Like, you know, Eminem came from a frickin' trailer park, and he went through.

00:22:04.280 You know?

00:22:04.680 He experienced racism, by the way.

00:22:07.300 Yeah.

00:22:07.580 Oprah Winfrey.

00:22:09.800 Boom.

00:22:10.720 I mean...

00:22:11.280 Yeah.

00:22:12.760 We have, you know, when Biden gave his acceptance speech, and Kamala gave hers before him, I'm

00:22:22.780 watching, and she's like, that a person like me could be the vice president.

00:22:27.940 Yeah.

00:22:28.620 Yeah.

00:22:28.920 And I was like, what is she even talking about?

00:22:31.520 A Marxist?

00:22:32.400 Yeah, that is remarkable.

00:22:33.660 Yeah.

00:22:33.800 And then I realized, oh my gosh, she's talking about her color, and it doesn't matter.

00:22:39.740 It doesn't.

00:22:40.320 It doesn't matter.

00:22:41.960 They're trying to pretend it matters.

00:22:43.780 As if you didn't achieve anything because you were the first woman, the first whatever.

00:22:48.120 I'm like, cool.

00:22:49.660 Now what?

00:22:50.540 Like, you have to be good.

00:22:52.040 You have to be good at your job.

00:22:53.380 I'll respect that.

00:22:54.280 That's cool.

00:22:55.360 But...

00:22:55.660 It doesn't matter what color you are.

00:22:57.120 When people invite me to all female comedy shows, I'm just like, ew.

00:23:01.620 This is gonna be bad.

00:23:03.120 This is gonna be a bad show.

00:23:05.880 For real.

00:23:06.620 I don't want to do that.

00:23:07.960 Like, no.

00:23:08.820 How about just put me on a funny show, and I'll do that.

00:23:11.520 Are the comics good?

00:23:12.720 Dope.

00:23:13.380 But it's all the girls.

00:23:14.560 It's the girl power thing.

00:23:15.580 I'm like, no.

00:23:16.080 This is the opposite of girl power.

00:23:17.640 This is creating our own little bubble of shit.

00:23:20.580 And they don't have to be good.

00:23:21.520 You just have to have boobs.

00:23:22.640 That's not a talent.

00:23:23.580 We were born like that.

00:23:24.880 Or some people bought them, LA.

00:23:26.320 Yeah.

00:23:27.600 I just went off on a tangent.

00:23:30.120 But Canadians need to...

00:23:32.240 We need to act right because our freedoms are being taken away from us, and we're whining

00:23:36.500 too much, and we are so lucky and so hashtag blessed.

00:23:40.800 We're just turning into whiny little babies who pretend we have issues because we have nothing

00:23:44.980 else to do because everything is perfect.

00:23:47.200 Those relationships where they're like, usually it's a woman, I'll be honest, creates problems

00:23:51.660 because things are too chill.

00:23:53.680 And that's, to me, Canada right now.

00:23:56.020 Things are good.

00:23:57.220 We have, I think, immigration issues, a couple environmental things, but other than that,

00:24:01.140 we're good.

00:24:01.920 It's America.

00:24:03.020 We're making up things.

00:24:03.880 There is no time in human history if you were to ask anyone, seriously think this through,

00:24:13.560 where would you want to live, and what time would you want to live in right now?

00:24:21.580 Here?

00:24:22.280 Yeah.

00:24:22.720 Right now?

00:24:24.000 Glenn Beck Studio.

00:24:25.240 Right.

00:24:25.640 Yeah.

00:24:25.960 Well, it's a little cold in here.

00:24:26.960 It's a little chilly.

00:24:27.520 Yeah.

00:24:28.000 But there is no other answer.

00:24:30.420 No.

00:24:30.760 You would want to be born in the West, in America, in Canada.

00:24:34.760 You'd want to be born at this time.

00:24:37.840 Yeah.

00:24:38.060 And yet, nothing's good enough.

00:24:41.280 You little bitches.

00:24:43.100 You selfish little brats.

00:24:45.780 That's how I feel.

00:24:47.720 People who haven't experienced real pain complain about these little things.

00:24:52.440 You didn't call me the right title that I made up yesterday.

00:24:54.920 Shut up.

00:24:55.880 Like, I have had real pain.

00:24:58.220 I just don't feel bad for them.

00:25:00.100 I went to Mexico with my wife about two years ago, and I was down there, because I'm involved

00:25:07.160 in a couple of slave rescue operations.

00:25:12.160 And so, we had just rescued three women from, like, actual chain-around-the-neck slavery.

00:25:22.240 Wow.

00:25:22.520 So, this woman, she, have you ever seen that picture of that black slave?

00:25:28.280 It's from, like, the 1850s, and he's kind of sitting like this with all the scars on his

00:25:31.580 back.

00:25:32.220 She was like that.

00:25:33.160 Oh, my God.

00:25:33.780 They would burn her with irons.

00:25:35.460 They would whip her.

00:25:36.360 I mean, it was bad.

00:25:38.520 And you'd see the marks on her neck where just the chain was.

00:25:44.020 And so, she had been released.

00:25:46.780 We had given her therapy and everything else.

00:25:49.200 And she had just gone over to the Vatican to speak.

00:25:53.000 I mean, she's an amazing woman.

00:25:54.520 Wow.

00:25:54.960 And I'm with her.

00:25:57.120 And I said, we were doing a campaign for anti-slavery.

00:26:02.000 And I said, I want you to hold up a piece of paper.

00:26:06.420 I want you to say your name and say, I'm so-and-so.

00:26:11.140 And I was a slave.

00:26:13.180 But only I can write my story.

00:26:16.620 And it's a blank page.

00:26:19.660 And she said, but she looked at me.

00:26:21.800 She said, I won't do that.

00:26:23.780 And I said, OK, why?

00:26:26.100 And she said, because I was never a slave.

00:26:29.340 Oh, boom.

00:26:30.980 OK?

00:26:31.400 Yeah.

00:26:31.700 I got on the plane.

00:26:32.600 I flew home.

00:26:33.560 It was the weekend they first started tearing down the statues.

00:26:36.160 And a bunch of white people talking about how they just, it was just oppressing them.

00:26:40.880 And I thought, oh, my gosh, I'm going to take all of you and take you across the border and show you what real oppression is and what real heroes are like.

00:26:49.840 Yep.

00:26:50.840 Yep.

00:26:52.080 100%.

00:26:52.520 That woman is awesome.

00:26:54.380 She's awesome.

00:26:55.540 You decide if you're oppressed.

00:26:57.680 You decide.

00:26:58.180 I'm going to get in trouble for saying this.

00:26:59.460 Oh, I don't care.

00:27:00.440 Like, you can decide to get better.

00:27:03.260 You can decide to leave an abusive relationship.

00:27:05.300 You can decide to work.

00:27:06.320 You can decide to get up.

00:27:07.400 You can decide that you're not oppressed.

00:27:08.840 These are decisions.

00:27:10.180 And you're going to have a shitty life if you wake up every day thinking everything is wrong and everyone did it to you.

00:27:15.680 It's like accountability.

00:27:17.300 Take ownership.

00:27:18.480 If there's not a chain around your neck, you can get up.

00:27:20.880 And people put chains on their own necks and then yell.

00:27:23.280 But I don't know if people, does everybody want responsibility?

00:27:26.400 No.

00:27:27.460 It's so much easier to blame everybody else for everything.

00:27:29.820 But you get no reward.

00:27:31.560 So then you have to decide what life you want.

00:27:32.820 But because, you know, I'm Christian and, you know, maybe we come back.

00:27:37.760 Who knows?

00:27:38.480 But let's just say it's done when it's done.

00:27:41.940 You spent your life complaining and, you know, firing off your mouth at people who are actually doing the things you wish you could do instead of doing it.

00:27:50.560 How sad is that?

00:27:51.960 You're wasting your life.

00:27:54.360 We don't, you know?

00:27:55.240 Can we talk about religion here for a second?

00:27:57.360 Sure.

00:27:58.180 Because another one of your just racist, anti-religious rants.

00:28:06.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:06.980 You said terrible things about Mormons.

00:28:09.860 And I'm Mormon, so now you get it.

00:28:12.260 Oh.

00:28:12.520 And I was watching you, and I thought, how refreshing.

00:28:18.000 But I will bet you, very misunderstood from Christians, because I take on my own faith, and I'm willing to take on other people's faiths as well, at this one point, which you made.

00:28:32.900 Guys, we have so much in common.

00:28:37.760 What the hell are we arguing about?

00:28:41.380 Yeah.

00:28:41.580 I don't care what you believe.

00:28:43.240 Yeah.

00:28:43.600 I don't care.

00:28:44.220 You shouldn't care what I believe.

00:28:45.780 I mean, Penn Jillette yells at me because you've never tried to save my soul.

00:28:49.460 And I'm like, because I know you.

00:28:51.280 You know what I mean?

00:28:51.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:52.640 I know you.

00:28:53.460 You've already read the Bible.

00:28:54.400 You've done all your, you're not.

00:28:55.400 You're good.

00:28:55.820 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:56.200 So, but why are we boxing ourselves into these corners where all the things that we need, we already have?

00:29:10.360 We have.

00:29:10.800 We have them all.

00:29:11.600 So, this is, this is modern slavery, is thinking that you never have enough, which is a lie that was, you're not good enough, and you never have enough.

00:29:21.480 And this is the lie that was sold to us by Hollywood, by, you know, different companies that make products, by everyone who wants you to shrink, not just as a human, but your spirit.

00:29:31.200 If you are weak, if you think you're not good enough, if you're on drugs, you're easy to control, and it's a lie.

00:29:37.840 And if the one thing I can make people know in my life, other than go team, and like, you can cheer yourself to and through anything, it's that you actually can cheer yourself to and through anything.

00:29:46.400 You can.

00:29:46.580 At any time.

00:29:47.980 You're good.

00:29:48.980 Have you ever read any Bernays?

00:29:51.100 He was the advertising guy who created modern advertising.

00:29:57.120 It was used to be propaganda.

00:29:57.660 Then I definitely did.

00:29:58.900 Yeah.

00:29:59.100 Yeah.

00:29:59.680 Used to be propaganda.

00:30:00.620 You should read him, because what you just said about all the people who are trying to sell us.

00:30:07.300 Yeah.

00:30:07.580 He talks about, we have to create the need, because Americans would only buy what they needed.

00:30:18.700 Yes.

00:30:19.440 And not necessarily what they wanted, but what they needed.

00:30:23.160 So he needed to create the need of want.

00:30:27.140 Yep.

00:30:27.460 And now, that's the only way somebody can sell you something.

00:30:32.420 I mean, even God, you're not interested until you're at your very bottom.

00:30:37.160 If everything's going great, why do I, what?

00:30:40.500 Which is kind of funny, because imagine God, like, sitting there in the corner, it's like,

00:30:43.020 oh, man, eating chips, I've been here the whole time.

00:30:44.880 Yeah.

00:30:45.220 I'm tagging you, and all right, I'm in.

00:30:46.500 Right.

00:30:46.780 Yeah.

00:30:47.100 It's like, I was here, but okay.

00:30:48.940 So, have you always been a God person?

00:30:53.420 I, well, I went to, like, the private Catholic schools my whole life, from Hamilton.

00:30:57.080 Hey.

00:30:58.720 And then I studied world religion in college, as, like, my secondary topic.

00:31:04.080 I took comedy, performance, and writing, and then world religions, because I just, I just

00:31:08.180 wanted to know.

00:31:09.580 And thanks.

00:31:11.240 And that's when I noticed, like, hey, that's pretty much the same story with a couple of

00:31:15.120 remixes.

00:31:15.560 Like, it's like, if you gave a bunch of rappers the same beat, and they just put a couple different

00:31:19.320 verses on it, you can actually just put it together and make it one song, but okay, everybody

00:31:23.060 released the same shit.

00:31:25.040 That's what I saw.

00:31:26.020 So, I went, why are we fighting?

00:31:27.220 There's a couple things in different religions where I'm like, hey, that's probably not nice.

00:31:31.560 You know, I don't think God wants to hurt anybody, and I don't believe that.

00:31:36.080 So, I don't think God wants women to feel this way if they've done this.

00:31:40.100 I don't think, you know, what are they called?

00:31:43.460 The shame killings, or I can't remember the term.

00:31:46.340 Honor killings.

00:31:46.960 Honor killings.

00:31:47.640 I'm like, yeah, that's probably a loser.

00:31:50.180 I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's definitely not.

00:31:53.000 Definitely not cool.

00:31:54.180 I'm like, yeah, that was someone who got scorned by a woman, put that remix in a book.

00:31:58.300 That's how I feel about it.

00:31:59.880 But the rest of the religions, I'm just like, yeah, okay, this makes sense.

00:32:03.940 And then I got away from it for years, and then I sure came back to it when I was disabled.

00:32:09.640 And I found it, and I didn't let go.

00:32:11.840 And this is a weird story.

00:32:13.360 You might think I'm weird.

00:32:14.020 I don't care.

00:32:15.540 I think it was New Year's Eve two years ago.

00:32:19.300 Everyone's about to go out to party, going to the clubs, doing all the big things.

00:32:23.880 And I went to church by myself.

00:32:26.160 Good for you.

00:32:26.900 On New Year's Eve.

00:32:27.560 And I just had this feeling, and I was like, I need to go prepare myself.

00:32:32.760 I need to be thankful for what's happened, and I have to prepare myself for what's to come.

00:32:37.140 Because I know what's coming.

00:32:38.440 And it's just going to keep building and building and building.

00:32:40.720 And I just need to be around something real right now.

00:32:43.580 Not just like, man, no, selfie.

00:32:46.460 It's like, enough.

00:32:48.720 Yeah.

00:32:49.180 Because nothing's real now.

00:32:50.540 Yeah.

00:32:50.860 Absolutely nothing is real.

00:32:52.100 Yep.

00:32:53.080 My hair is extensions.

00:32:54.120 When you made the video on religion, I was so happy to see you took on your own.

00:33:07.000 And that always goes into, people immediately put up shields.

00:33:11.840 Wait a minute.

00:33:13.400 Well, no, no, that's what about, what about those people?

00:33:15.780 What about this?

00:33:16.340 You know, if we could just take our shields down and be able to go, yeah, a lot of Christians have sucked.

00:33:25.880 Yeah.

00:33:26.580 A lot of Christians have sucked.

00:33:28.140 A lot of Muslims have sucked.

00:33:29.520 A lot of atheists have sucked.

00:33:31.440 Yep.

00:33:31.620 You know, people suck.

00:33:34.340 Sometimes.

00:33:35.320 Yeah.

00:33:35.880 And it's usually from a misunderstanding of whatever it is they claim.

00:33:42.920 Followed by ego.

00:33:44.780 Yeah.

00:33:45.160 To back it up.

00:33:45.980 No, I was right.

00:33:46.660 We were right.

00:33:47.280 Blow things up.

00:33:48.260 Yeah.

00:33:48.500 Right.

00:33:49.060 And it's what I think we're suffering from now.

00:33:56.500 Would you call liberalism or this progress, this, I don't even know what it is anymore, this Marxism, a religion?

00:34:03.860 Yeah, it is.

00:34:05.200 It's a new religion and it's toxic.

00:34:07.500 And it, there's no upside to it ever.

00:34:10.940 There's no one who's fully indoctrinated in it who is living a happy life.

00:34:16.900 I just, I don't see it.

00:34:18.380 And I want the best for them.

00:34:20.240 And it's going to start with them, you know, first step is realizing you have a problem, right?

00:34:25.000 But until they realize they have a problem and admit they're not happy, I can't help them yet.

00:34:30.140 But I can, you know, keep putting these little videos and all these things into the ether.

00:34:33.740 And hopefully it'll spin into their minds that like, yeah, I don't need 40 outfits this month.

00:34:40.980 So I have a different outfit every day on Instagram.

00:34:43.780 Maybe that chick that I'm watching on Instagram isn't happy that's always taking photos all day, every day.

00:34:49.480 Because she's not.

00:34:50.300 I'll tell you right now, she's not.

00:34:51.400 Maybe this Instagram couple that's pranking each other, that's actually pretty disrespectful and their relationships falling apart.

00:34:58.520 It's, it's common.

00:34:59.780 And I know that people will see it bit by bit because they're either going to kill themselves, which we're seeing the uptick in suicide is insane this year.

00:35:07.820 It's insane.

00:35:09.580 They're going to be so heavily medicated that they're just living in a, anyway, or they're going to change because they're not happy.

00:35:17.200 So protecting my family is the number one priority.

00:35:20.940 And I got news for you.

00:35:23.200 You come into my house, pretty much use a butcher knife if I have to.

00:35:28.000 You're not coming near my family.

00:35:30.900 However, there are those people who are like, I don't want to kill people or I don't want to get hurt myself.

00:35:37.240 Okay.

00:35:38.500 Those people, including me and my wife, should look into Taser.

00:35:44.420 Taser is a really good, legal, non-lethal self-defense.

00:35:53.460 It is a protection device, small, lightweight enough to carry with you your glove compartment or your purse, yet powerful enough to incapacitate an attacker.

00:36:03.660 The guns carry unnecessary risks for you.

00:36:07.780 I mean, when you pull out a gun, you better be prepared to kill the person.

00:36:12.480 That's an awesome responsibility and an awesome choice.

00:36:17.640 Pepper spray can harm you as much as the attacker, and it's usually ineffective.

00:36:24.700 But Taser, you pull that trigger and it goes right into the person.

00:36:29.600 It immobilizes them for up to 30 seconds, which gives you time to escape.

00:36:34.880 But the minute you pull the trigger, it also sends emergency dispatch to that GPS location.

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00:37:29.600 So you were heavily medicated for a while.

00:37:31.780 Oh, God, I hated it.

00:37:33.040 Yeah.

00:37:33.220 Because you were in a car crash around 20?

00:37:36.240 21?

00:37:37.340 It was 2008.

00:37:38.940 You know, I was making a joke this morning that numbers and math and years is one thing that I still, I don't have it anymore.

00:37:44.640 I don't have it.

00:37:45.600 Really?

00:37:45.920 Yeah, it's gone.

00:37:46.880 So when someone's like, oh, what year were you a dancer for the Toronto Raptors?

00:37:49.560 I'm like, I don't know.

00:37:50.660 Can't figure it out if you just ask me.

00:37:52.300 By the way, say this with me.

00:37:53.460 Yes.

00:37:53.840 Out.

00:37:55.480 Out.

00:37:56.140 Out.

00:37:56.900 There you go.

00:37:57.520 Oot.

00:37:58.120 Yeah.

00:37:58.620 Yeah, oot and oot.

00:38:00.000 I've got a new outfit.

00:38:01.520 I've got a new outfit.

00:38:03.520 So you were, tell me about the car crash first.

00:38:07.820 So I was getting out of a taxi and I was halfway out and we got rear-ended and my head hit the inside of the doorframe three times because my spine was twisted.

00:38:19.940 My own spine.

00:38:20.480 Because you were getting out?

00:38:21.480 Yep.

00:38:22.580 Out.

00:38:22.840 Out.

00:38:24.120 My spine jutted into the nerves down my back.

00:38:27.200 So I like injured myself internally.

00:38:29.880 Yeah.

00:38:30.500 My SI joint, which is like kind of like the hips that went and is completely out of line and crazy TMJ, a bad head injury.

00:38:39.580 And the TMJ got, all of the injuries I had at the moment didn't seem that bad because there was no blood.

00:38:46.420 There was no guts spilling out.

00:38:47.880 But they were all degenerative and they all got progressively worse as time went on.

00:38:51.820 Is it true that the TMJ got so bad that you would actually spit your pieces of your own teeth out in the morning?

00:38:57.620 Yes.

00:38:58.580 Yep.

00:38:58.960 Pretty.

00:38:59.280 Isn't that beautiful?

00:39:00.020 That's really nice.

00:39:00.840 Yeah.

00:39:01.020 So for a girl who was like brought up, like most women, it's like, you know, be cute, be pretty.

00:39:06.180 I'm a cheerleader, be hot, make people like you, whatever.

00:39:08.580 Or to suddenly be waking up, not able to take myself to the washroom.

00:39:13.800 I can't go by myself and I'm spitting up my teeth.

00:39:16.600 It's like, oh, I'm getting a sign.

00:39:20.280 This is, I have to read.

00:39:21.480 How long were you like that?

00:39:22.420 Almost a decade.

00:39:24.620 Ten years of your life gone.

00:39:27.460 Yeah.

00:39:28.100 The seven, seven years was like the strongest of it.

00:39:30.700 And then I, when my video started going viral in 2015, I was still in bed and I was still on disability.

00:39:36.160 No, I got myself off disability a couple months before, but I was still in bed most days and I still couldn't walk most days and I could do a little bit and then I'd be in bed for two weeks.

00:39:47.280 And like, I still have these moments where I'm like out in the world and I'm like, the world.

00:39:52.720 Like, I forget.

00:39:53.620 I forget what life is like sometimes.

00:39:57.100 It's weird because you're naturally a bubbly person.

00:40:01.300 Yeah.

00:40:02.180 And that had to be massively depressing.

00:40:06.360 Oh my God.

00:40:07.420 Yeah.

00:40:07.580 What was the dark part of this like?

00:40:11.620 Suicidal.

00:40:11.980 Suicidal.

00:40:12.980 Um, it was when the doctors, I saw the looks on their faces.

00:40:17.400 Like I'd go to all the therapies.

00:40:18.780 I do all the things.

00:40:20.200 It's when their faces changed and they were like, this isn't going to get better.

00:40:26.700 So you got to like come up with a different plan for your life because you're going to be on disability for life.

00:40:32.280 Uh, which is really hard in Canada to get approved for.

00:40:34.800 It takes a long time to even get on disability, let alone have them stamp it.

00:40:38.500 It's forever.

00:40:39.920 Um, and they were like, everything's degenerative.

00:40:42.400 It's going to get worse.

00:40:43.280 And I was just like, okay, this is, this is it.

00:40:48.420 My credit is completely gone and killed.

00:40:50.600 I have no money.

00:40:51.420 I'm in crazy debt from paying for all these medical treatments up front that, you know, it doesn't cover.

00:40:56.880 And I just thought I'm not going to be of any value to anybody.

00:40:59.880 Oh my God.

00:41:00.340 I'm just going to depress everybody that I'm around.

00:41:02.320 Did you have a boyfriend or a love of your life at that time?

00:41:05.200 Um, I did who, well, I had one when it happened and I was telling my current boyfriend the

00:41:11.580 other day about this story because I don't blame him for leaving me.

00:41:16.360 And he left one day and never came back.

00:41:19.280 Didn't even say anything.

00:41:20.320 Didn't say anything.

00:41:21.100 He told me like when he was gone, I thought he was just going on a trip.

00:41:24.000 And he was like, you know what?

00:41:25.020 He texts to like, you know, I can't do this.

00:41:26.740 This is too hard, whatever.

00:41:28.180 But I don't blame him.

00:41:29.900 It was awful to look at.

00:41:31.500 It was awful to live with me.

00:41:32.760 Like I was shaking, like I had Parkinson's and like, he didn't sign up for that.

00:41:36.880 So it was awful.

00:41:38.120 And then I ended up having another boyfriend in the middle of it.

00:41:41.460 He was just the sweetest human being.

00:41:43.800 Like when you think of like a human puppy, it was just like, that's this, like he's just

00:41:48.460 always happy.

00:41:49.420 All tails, always wagon.

00:41:50.640 Okay.

00:41:51.060 Yeah, we're good.

00:41:51.780 We're happy.

00:41:52.240 As soon as you got well, you dumped him.

00:41:54.460 Kind of.

00:41:55.140 No, I'm just kidding.

00:41:55.960 No, that's not how it works.

00:41:57.180 I just knew he wasn't the one for me, but I, gosh, I have a kid's book that

00:42:02.740 I wrote and it's, I put his name as the title of it because I owe him so much.

00:42:06.880 I like, I, I, God makes people like this.

00:42:10.000 Yes.

00:42:10.260 That's awesome.

00:42:11.180 Yeah.

00:42:11.560 Yeah.

00:42:12.200 So yeah, that was that one.

00:42:13.660 So what happened?

00:42:15.700 So.

00:42:15.940 How are you walking around?

00:42:17.320 It's kind of crazy.

00:42:18.360 We're going to go back to God.

00:42:20.000 Um, when I did have like, I call it my darkest night where I was like, okay, here's how I'm

00:42:25.280 going to commit suicide.

00:42:25.940 So it's the least painful to my family and the least like gross plan.

00:42:30.200 I made a plan.

00:42:32.000 Uh, it took a while to make a plan, but I was like, how do I make this plan?

00:42:35.580 I was like, what do I have a value?

00:42:37.240 Who am I going to give it to?

00:42:38.740 Uh, I wanted, you know, one of my friends to get all my comedy writing books and just

00:42:42.480 like, just make something with this, you know, take it all.

00:42:45.280 You can have it.

00:42:45.760 Just make it please.

00:42:46.940 Uh, and then it's so weird.

00:42:50.860 I tell people this all the time.

00:42:52.500 I heard this like Denzel Washington voice in the back of my head feeling, it's so stupid.

00:42:59.260 It's not time to give up.

00:43:00.760 It's time to get up.

00:43:01.800 Like, remember the Titans shit.

00:43:03.800 And I was just like, it's not time to give up.

00:43:07.080 It's time to get up.

00:43:08.340 And I took the little bit of money I had and it was like nothing.

00:43:12.840 And I went to Indigo, which is like our, our bookstore and I bought a Louise Hay book.

00:43:19.180 Uh, you can heal your life.

00:43:20.440 I bought another self-help book.

00:43:22.240 I'd never even been that section.

00:43:23.580 I'd never walked in that section.

00:43:25.200 Something.

00:43:25.660 I just like, let it take me wherever I was going to go.

00:43:27.800 I'm like, I'm supposed to be here.

00:43:29.000 I'm just following along, whatever.

00:43:30.620 I bought a little candle.

00:43:31.920 Cause I was like, Oh, that'll make me feel nice.

00:43:33.680 And I went home and I started listening to the books and I got them on tape too and reading

00:43:39.820 them.

00:43:40.680 And then I made a plan and I was like,

00:43:42.840 no negativity, none.

00:43:45.120 I'm cutting it all out the way.

00:43:47.080 Like I loved watching CSI and I love watching, you know, the walking dead.

00:43:50.660 And I'm like, I feel aggravated and upset after this.

00:43:54.180 I'm watching people suffering.

00:43:55.300 That's probably not good.

00:43:56.420 I even charmed, you know, like all the zombies.

00:43:58.480 I'm like, Oh no, I cut out all the negativity, all of it.

00:44:02.080 I stopped watching anything that was negative.

00:44:04.780 I started ODing on sermons and positive stuff.

00:44:08.960 And like Joel Osteen became my bro and, uh, Jake's and, um, who am I listening to all the

00:44:16.040 time?

00:44:16.580 Why can't I think of her name?

00:44:18.260 Oh yeah.

00:44:18.620 Head injuries.

00:44:19.960 Um, um, I'm going to look, I'm going to look.

00:44:21.740 It's in my podcast.

00:44:22.420 Cause she's like, she's my fave.

00:44:24.320 And I listened every fricking day.

00:44:26.940 Uh, female pastor.

00:44:29.660 You are, uh, I'm totally looking it up.

00:44:33.220 You are totally not the stereotypical Christian.

00:44:36.960 I know.

00:44:37.960 And I think that's great.

00:44:39.240 Thanks.

00:44:41.180 Oh, Joyce Meyer.

00:44:42.780 There we go.

00:44:43.160 I found it.

00:44:43.660 It's like a suck.

00:44:44.340 I found it.

00:44:45.140 Yeah.

00:44:45.400 And then I started like, even just positivity, motivation, Oprah, I'd listen to like any of

00:44:52.160 her guests.

00:44:52.740 I would just learn.

00:44:53.500 I would just do all these things.

00:44:55.380 And I just made my plan.

00:44:57.100 And I'm like, listen, you are going to get better period.

00:44:59.740 You're going to have hard days.

00:45:01.240 Bad times are not here to stay.

00:45:02.820 They're here to pass.

00:45:03.880 I stuck sticky notes all over my entire house.

00:45:06.540 I looked like a psycho.

00:45:07.440 People thought I was nuts.

00:45:08.740 And it said, you look better every day.

00:45:11.220 You you're gaining weight again.

00:45:12.900 Cause I got so skinny cause I couldn't eat.

00:45:14.500 Uh, your career is going well.

00:45:16.680 You have a hundred thousand dollars in the bank.

00:45:18.340 You're debt free.

00:45:19.200 You're, you're walking.

00:45:20.500 You're pain free.

00:45:21.440 I put them in the fridge.

00:45:22.540 Like, so I'd open the fridge.

00:45:23.720 I'd be like, that's right.

00:45:24.740 And then I closed the fridge and I taught myself how to cheer again.

00:45:27.780 And I gave a talk on this before.

00:45:30.040 It was like an impromptu one where I was like, I had to go, okay, Nicole, you're not

00:45:35.360 an actress anymore.

00:45:36.060 Cause you can't act.

00:45:37.400 You're not a dancer anymore.

00:45:38.840 Cause you can't dance.

00:45:39.900 You're not a comedian anymore.

00:45:41.920 Cause you can't go do that.

00:45:43.380 You can't stand up.

00:45:45.100 I couldn't stand up.

00:45:46.100 I've made the joke.

00:45:46.940 Yeah.

00:45:47.120 I was like, I can't do a stand up.

00:45:48.080 Yeah.

00:45:48.700 But I was like, what's the one thing I actually still am.

00:45:52.180 I'm a cheerleader.

00:45:54.140 You can't take that away from me.

00:45:56.340 That's, that's who I am.

00:45:58.480 And it's not the tumbling.

00:45:59.520 It's not the, the palms.

00:46:00.860 It's not any of that.

00:46:01.520 It's like, that is my spirit.

00:46:02.680 I became a cheerleader cause I already was that person.

00:46:05.060 It was just fun.

00:46:05.900 I got to do with other people now.

00:46:06.960 Like when I remembered, that's me, I was like, all I have to do is start cheering.

00:46:11.900 And eventually the world's going to cheer with me.

00:46:14.200 And I just did it.

00:46:15.860 And I got nerve block injections, which I would not wish on anybody.

00:46:19.440 It's very painful, but I would go in there and the staff would say, go team.

00:46:24.200 And I would like, it's, it's very painful procedures in these special clinics that I

00:46:28.620 would go to everyone in there is in rough shape.

00:46:31.120 And the doctor said to me, he's like, you're the only person in here.

00:46:34.740 That's going to get better.

00:46:35.940 Look in that room.

00:46:36.660 He's like, you're the only one who believes you will.

00:46:38.240 And he's like, that changes everything.

00:46:40.480 Everything.

00:46:41.200 Yep.

00:46:41.700 And I was like, you're right.

00:46:42.500 I will.

00:46:43.400 And then my dad told me to once to change, change my thinking.

00:46:47.260 It's a long story, but, um, I remember I started doing the same thing that you did.

00:46:51.360 Um, and, and at first it felt ridiculous because I'm like, but I'm not that you're still

00:46:58.880 arguing with yourself, you know?

00:47:00.560 The multi voices in your head.

00:47:01.900 Yeah.

00:47:02.080 And that you just have to get rid of that old tape.

00:47:04.860 And it feels weird at first to say, I'm successful.

00:47:08.380 Oh yeah.

00:47:08.800 I am happy.

00:47:09.620 I am this when you're not.

00:47:11.140 Yep.

00:47:11.640 But there, I don't even know what it is, but there is, it's a tipping point to when that

00:47:18.140 is the tape much more than the negative.

00:47:21.000 Your life changes.

00:47:23.000 It, it does.

00:47:24.180 And I remember the moment that I made a promise to God and I said, if you let me come back,

00:47:29.960 I promise to bring as many people with me as I can.

00:47:33.820 And then my stuff started going, it just started going.

00:47:38.260 And I remember writing a hundred thousand on my mirror in my bathroom.

00:47:41.420 I wanted a hundred thousand followers and a hundred thousand dollars.

00:47:44.680 And then I hit them almost on the same day.

00:47:47.480 And then I was like, Whoa, I better change this number.

00:47:49.980 And a couple of years ago when I was just hosting an event, I heard that little whisper

00:47:54.700 in my head being like, all right, it's time for you to bring people with you.

00:47:57.940 So I told my story on stage, even though I was scared and no one knew at the time any

00:48:01.680 of that had happened.

00:48:02.700 And then I'm still doing it.

00:48:04.480 You just fell off the face of the earth.

00:48:07.300 Yeah.

00:48:08.000 I fell off the face of the earth and I had agents telling me to hide it.

00:48:11.260 No, one's ever going to want to hire you.

00:48:13.020 I had people being like, no, one's going to want to date a disabled girl.

00:48:15.520 Like no one wants to marry the disabled girl.

00:48:17.620 Like you're done.

00:48:19.000 And then I had to do a lot of work and like get that shit off me and realize that it's

00:48:24.720 shit people put on me.

00:48:26.200 Even that's what cancel culture does.

00:48:27.820 They put shame and shit on you.

00:48:30.620 All you got to do is go, that's not my shit.

00:48:33.020 Take your sludge back.

00:48:34.060 I'm good.

00:48:34.720 I'm awesome.

00:48:35.620 I'm intelligent.

00:48:36.380 I have good ideas.

00:48:37.900 And then just give it right back to them.

00:48:39.140 There you go.

00:48:39.600 That's yours.

00:48:40.560 See, it's so amazing to me that after this podcast, I want to take you next door to our

00:48:47.400 vault.

00:48:48.360 I'm excited.

00:48:49.800 My wife, my wife just looked at me.

00:48:52.040 This is about a month ago.

00:48:52.800 And she's like, what the hell are we going to do with that?

00:48:54.900 I just bought Franklin Roosevelt's wheelchair.

00:49:00.880 And she said, you are not bringing that into the house.

00:49:03.500 And we have no place for any more of this stuff.

00:49:05.020 And I'm like, I know it's going to be in the museum.

00:49:06.380 But museum hoarder, whatever.

00:49:09.500 Just charge admission.

00:49:10.380 Hoarder.

00:49:11.180 Hoarder.

00:49:12.340 But I think it's an important piece because he declared that no one would look up to a

00:49:23.380 man in a wheelchair.

00:49:24.260 What I think is his strongest point, the reason, really, one of the only reasons I like FDR,

00:49:31.980 because he was such a big government guy, is he would not take no for an answer.

00:49:38.060 Yeah.

00:49:38.360 You know, personally, he couldn't walk.

00:49:41.240 He couldn't stand.

00:49:42.960 And yet, he sure made it look like he could walk because he'd swing his hip so hard, his

00:49:49.020 leg would come out.

00:49:51.360 And he would stand at the podium when he had no strength in his legs.

00:49:56.940 That wheelchair is important.

00:49:58.880 What you just said.

00:50:00.440 Stand at the podium, even if there's no strength in your legs.

00:50:04.060 That's all everyone needs to do.

00:50:06.440 That was a gangster moment.

00:50:08.820 That was dope.

00:50:10.120 That was like bars, Glenn Beck.

00:50:13.120 Bars.

00:50:13.840 That's great.

00:50:14.660 Yeah.

00:50:15.040 I like that.

00:50:15.720 I want to write that down.

00:50:16.520 Yeah.

00:50:16.720 That's good.

00:50:17.520 Yeah.

00:50:17.800 I get why you have the wheelchair.

00:50:18.860 But that's what he did.

00:50:19.680 Yeah.

00:50:20.220 That's what we all, and this is the funny thing, is like, we look up to someone like

00:50:24.600 that, or I have people say, like, we look up to your story, Nicole, and I'm like, yeah,

00:50:27.520 but you can do it, too.

00:50:29.080 It's not just a me thing.

00:50:30.360 It's all of you.

00:50:31.320 Everybody.

00:50:31.380 I have met.

00:50:32.280 I say this.

00:50:34.240 It's like a mind meld here.

00:50:37.420 You grew up in Vancouver, didn't you?

00:50:39.780 Hamilton in Toronto.

00:50:40.520 I wore it on my shirt so you'd remember.

00:50:42.320 Okay.

00:50:42.640 Well, I think of the Broadway show.

00:50:45.260 I'm not a fan.

00:50:49.900 Gosh, what were we just talking about?

00:50:51.660 I know I lost my track.

00:50:52.780 The wheelchair.

00:50:53.600 Standing at the podium.

00:50:54.760 Mind meld.

00:50:56.420 Yep.

00:50:56.860 Can't think of it.

00:50:57.400 I lost it.

00:50:57.860 Oh, sorry.

00:50:58.160 I lost it.

00:50:58.660 That's okay.

00:50:59.780 You don't like Hamilton?

00:51:01.140 I didn't like it.

00:51:02.080 I wasn't impressed at all.

00:51:03.480 My friend who's a choreographer fell asleep beside me.

00:51:07.060 He's like a very well-known choreographer.

00:51:09.020 I was brought into Creative Direct and New Musical, so they had us go to Hamilton, and I was

00:51:14.080 just like, this isn't rapping.

00:51:15.880 This is talking fast syncopation for old white people to think this is rapping and cool.

00:51:22.760 I get why it sells a lot of tickets, but to me, it's lame, and we're going to beat it.

00:51:27.560 Can I ask you a question?

00:51:28.700 Yes.

00:51:28.900 If you're watching this, I saw The Surprising Life of David Copperfield or whatever.

00:51:39.340 It's when movies first started coming out again, and I am a diehard, avid movie goer.

00:51:46.240 Cool.

00:51:47.040 This is like the only movie in the theater, and so we're like, let's go.

00:51:50.480 And it was actually really good, but the entire cast was over-the-top diverse, okay?

00:51:59.320 So all of the Englishmen who had power would be black or Indian or whatever, and I thought

00:52:06.380 to myself, how does this, how is history even understood and oppression even understood

00:52:16.700 a generation from now?

00:52:19.400 Yeah.

00:52:19.640 Because, no, I've seen the movies.

00:52:23.220 No, they're black, and they didn't care, and it doesn't matter.

00:52:26.480 I mean, it's insane.

00:52:28.060 It's insane.

00:52:28.860 Because there's, you cannot, you, the next generation won't have any clue.

00:52:35.860 No.

00:52:36.620 Because they'd never seen it.

00:52:37.880 No, they won't.

00:52:39.300 It's really weird.

00:52:40.700 The castings right now in LA, I'll say, probably in New York too, there's no rules for white people

00:52:47.240 anymore.

00:52:48.360 For a white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, there's just nothing.

00:52:53.320 I get castings often because I work with brands, and I help them, you know, influencers

00:52:57.220 and whatever, and they'll send me castings, and they'll be like, well, we want black or

00:53:02.340 Latino or a diversity, and I'm like, don't you want the best person?

00:53:06.940 You don't want the best person, you just want the color of their skin, and they're like,

00:53:11.200 oh, yeah, yeah, you know, because of Black Lives Matter.

00:53:13.240 I'm like, what does that mean?

00:53:14.380 Explain that to me.

00:53:15.120 And what does that mean?

00:53:16.520 Because of Black Lives Matter, you can't hire a white person, even if they're the best

00:53:19.840 for the job.

00:53:20.840 That's stupid.

00:53:22.000 You sound stupid.

00:53:22.820 I don't think I want to work with you.

00:53:24.940 Yeah.

00:53:25.500 My daughter has an agent, and she said, I was on the phone with the agent, and she said,

00:53:30.780 sweetheart, not going to be a lot of calls.

00:53:34.320 She has to come out as a lesbian or something.

00:53:36.520 No.

00:53:37.260 Or transgender.

00:53:37.960 If she says she's transgender, then she can say that if they don't give her the role,

00:53:42.360 then it's discrimination.

00:53:43.400 You just got to play the game back, you know?

00:53:44.800 It's just, it's remarkable how the entire world says they're against one thing, but

00:53:51.300 they are doing that thing.

00:53:55.360 Yeah.

00:53:55.560 I think the only thing we can do in the swirl of crazy is make jokes about it, point it

00:54:03.120 out, and then create our own stuff.

00:54:05.660 That's, I'm very fix it, you know?

00:54:07.980 So are you worried at all about, I mean, Facebook has deplatformed you?

00:54:12.460 No.

00:54:13.140 I'm on Facebook.

00:54:14.020 No, no, no.

00:54:14.320 When you did the, what was it?

00:54:15.360 The fat one.

00:54:15.840 Oh, it was YouTube deplatformed me right away.

00:54:19.560 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:54:20.100 Yeah, when Dear Fat People came out.

00:54:22.040 No, I wasn't worried at all.

00:54:24.500 I was like, you guys just blew my shit.

00:54:26.220 Every time I get canceled, my shit blows up and I make more money.

00:54:29.500 Whoops.

00:54:30.240 Like, it doesn't scare me.

00:54:32.300 They don't, it's true.

00:54:34.180 I'm not scared of it.

00:54:35.400 And like, the companies I work with, the brands I work with, the fans I have, they don't care.

00:54:40.620 So, you're just giving me a bigger audience every time.

00:54:43.680 Thanks, losers.

00:54:44.940 And, you know, YouTube is so interesting to me because they headhunted me to be a YouTuber.

00:54:50.940 I didn't go to them.

00:54:51.700 I didn't go, I want to be a YouTuber.

00:54:53.940 They came to me, one of the producers, said, we want you to do this.

00:54:57.320 And then I was like, yeah, I'm a comic.

00:54:59.520 And they're like, we already have a female comic.

00:55:02.060 So, why don't you do makeup, like tutorials?

00:55:04.500 I'm like, I'm not a makeup artist.

00:55:06.320 I'm a comedian.

00:55:07.640 And they're like, yeah, but we have this brown girl and she checks all the boxes.

00:55:11.600 And they met Lilly Singh.

00:55:12.880 And I was just like, yeah, but she's missing the main box.

00:55:16.040 Funny.

00:55:18.040 For real.

00:55:18.820 Like, I don't care how many lists down and isms she has.

00:55:24.080 Oh, she's brown and a woman and she's gay and now she's bisexual and she's from this family and she can speak Hindi.

00:55:30.760 But she's not funny.

00:55:33.000 There's no punchlines at the end, Saturday Night Live.

00:55:35.800 So, it doesn't matter.

00:55:37.900 And my experience with YouTube was I was literally sitting on a panel.

00:55:41.600 They had me speak on behalf of them many times on panels for big business conferences.

00:55:46.540 And I'd speak about, the last one was women in YouTube and how it's helping us, you know, break that wall and not have to go through the gatekeepers.

00:55:55.340 And they're like, you know, we want women to express themselves and be who they are as long as you don't say the truth, Nicole.

00:56:00.460 It was a span of like two days later.

00:56:02.760 They were like, Nicole, you can't do that.

00:56:03.960 I'm taking you down.

00:56:05.100 And I was like, so the men can say whatever they want, but I can't.

00:56:07.900 Because Ricky Gervais has made fat jokes and these people have.

00:56:11.980 And Bill Maher made a post so similar to Dear Fat People, my video, that people on the internet made a remix of it.

00:56:18.700 Like showing like, oh, there, there's my line, there's his line, there's my line, there's his line.

00:56:23.360 And nothing happened to him.

00:56:25.620 You didn't de-platform him, you know?

00:56:28.320 That's not because he's a man.

00:56:30.260 That's...

00:56:30.660 Liberal.

00:56:31.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:32.260 Yeah.

00:56:32.940 It was, at the time though, no one thought that I wasn't a liberal.

00:56:37.060 Really?

00:56:37.760 Yeah.

00:56:38.580 When did you just let it all hang out?

00:56:40.700 Uh, right before this election, I threw on a MAGA hat, like a couple days before.

00:56:47.200 That drove people crazy.

00:56:48.560 Yeah, it was great.

00:56:50.140 Yeah.

00:56:50.720 But I was like, I was expecting firestorm and it was rounds of applause because of why I did it.

00:56:57.860 And I was just like, no, I'm against racism.

00:57:00.180 So you telling black people who they have to vote for, that's racism.

00:57:03.700 So I have to be against that.

00:57:04.860 And I went, I just went down my list and I'm like, this is what I believe.

00:57:08.000 And let's, let's try and make history go the right way.

00:57:11.660 I was, because Donald Trump is just such a glorious wrecking ball.

00:57:15.900 Yes.

00:57:16.300 He enjoys just, I think, I think he's, I said to a friend after the election, I said,

00:57:26.660 the American people are going to weep someday at what they've just done.

00:57:33.320 Yep.

00:57:33.600 Okay.

00:57:34.080 Um, and the second thing is someday I hope they realize he was the most fun.

00:57:44.100 Yes.

00:57:44.620 And the funniest president we've ever had.

00:57:48.460 Yes.

00:57:49.340 He is America.

00:57:51.040 He's so funny.

00:57:52.620 And yeah, like he, to me, he exemplifies everything that makes America fun.

00:57:58.400 Yeah.

00:57:58.540 Like there's a bit, there's that ego in a fun way mixed in with the fuck it, I'm America.

00:58:03.540 Pew, pew, pew.

00:58:05.300 That's what you guys look like to the rest of the world.

00:58:07.080 Right.

00:58:07.320 So I thought it, I thought it was a good time.

00:58:09.440 I just, I loved him.

00:58:10.840 And the, once you realize, oh, he's, he's just yanking chains.

00:58:19.160 Yeah.

00:58:19.860 You can enjoy it.

00:58:21.200 Yeah.

00:58:21.460 You can really enjoy it.

00:58:23.040 It's fun to watch him trigger people and they take the bait every time.

00:58:27.280 How, how, how, how do you take the bait the 10th time?

00:58:31.160 The 30th time.

00:58:32.240 We're going to make whole groups of people just to take his bait all day.

00:58:35.340 I'm like, you guys are dumb.

00:58:36.420 You don't know you're dumb.

00:58:37.380 Oh, that's because you're dumb.

00:58:38.700 Yeah.

00:58:39.320 For real.

00:58:40.480 Yeah.

00:58:42.180 Make him mad.

00:58:43.920 So you, you talked about Saturday Night Live a minute ago.

00:58:47.220 Yeah.

00:58:48.320 Ugh.

00:58:49.660 I want to, I want to go ahead.

00:58:51.740 Ugh.

00:58:52.480 I have a couple of friends on that show who are very talented comics.

00:58:56.540 They are not allowed to be talented comics on that show.

00:58:59.220 Their videos that they make on their Instagram themselves are better.

00:59:02.980 They're funny.

00:59:03.680 They're edgy.

00:59:04.340 They're, they're just everything that we like from SNL.

00:59:07.500 I go back to Eric Clapton.

00:59:10.140 When did the rock and roll attitude become Ann Murray?

00:59:14.140 When did these rep, this is comedians.

00:59:18.020 Yeah.

00:59:20.380 That's the job.

00:59:21.380 We're against the man.

00:59:22.780 Yes.

00:59:23.000 This is our job.

00:59:23.960 And if you guys are in with the man and you're just taking your scripts from the man,

00:59:27.520 and then you're not a comic anymore.

00:59:29.240 And it's not brave.

00:59:30.500 No.

00:59:31.000 It's definitely.

00:59:32.200 Punching down.

00:59:32.820 Letting Bruce would just beat the snot out of him.

00:59:35.600 I'd love to see it.

00:59:36.860 I would.

00:59:37.460 Yeah.

00:59:38.240 Like Pete Davidson.

00:59:39.780 I thought he was great.

00:59:40.740 I've cheered for him for years.

00:59:42.180 Like, like I know his backstory and all that kind of stuff.

00:59:44.660 And when he took a swing at Dan Crenshaw, I was like, that was douchey, but all right,

00:59:48.200 you guys fixed it, whatever.

00:59:49.220 Um, but then this thing with the small businesses, I'm just like, now you need to shut the fuck

00:59:53.880 up.

00:59:54.420 Like, stop it.

00:59:56.380 You're, you had a smile on your face while you're punching down for people who can't feed

01:00:01.360 their families.

01:00:02.500 Does that not register to you?

01:00:03.980 You psychopath.

01:00:04.860 Not you, him.

01:00:06.680 Well, I don't know you.

01:00:07.860 Yeah, I know.

01:00:08.780 I've been called that.

01:00:09.820 Okay, cool.

01:00:10.260 I've heard that about you.

01:00:12.720 It's just like, you guys are jerks now.

01:00:14.380 You're just jerks and your jokes aren't funny.

01:00:16.300 And these sketch, can you tell me one sketch that's actually gone viral, not just them

01:00:20.780 paying for PR, like an ad buy behind a sketch from the last five years, other than the old

01:00:28.020 cast coming back to play characters during the elections, they, they're still relying on

01:00:32.540 that old cast because they won't let the new ones do their jobs.

01:00:35.820 And it's, it sucks.

01:00:38.360 I think comedy died in Obama when they would not find anything funny about him.

01:00:46.920 Yeah.

01:00:47.260 It's offensive and oppressive.

01:00:48.780 Yeah.

01:00:49.160 Yeah.

01:00:49.560 Not one thing funny on Barack Obama.

01:00:53.240 Um, let me, let me give you, um, two other words.

01:00:57.560 Great.

01:00:58.280 The view.

01:01:02.720 I said the other day that they remind me of all the evil villains from Disney movies

01:01:08.420 all sitting on one panel.

01:01:10.400 Like all the ones who hate the young, pretty princesses.

01:01:13.840 We're going to get her and whatever, like fricking Ursula's over there bitching about

01:01:17.980 whatever.

01:01:18.640 You see it now, don't you?

01:01:19.920 You see it?

01:01:20.280 Joy Behar is Ursula.

01:01:21.740 Oh yeah.

01:01:22.160 Yeah.

01:01:23.340 Why are they on TV?

01:01:25.640 They're just dickheads and they're not that smart and their ideas aren't good.

01:01:30.660 And they're just mad all the time.

01:01:32.280 It's like, go have your period somewhere else.

01:01:35.140 This is, yeah.

01:01:36.480 No, they're like that all the time.

01:01:38.020 Joy Behar, I was on the view once and she was unbelievably nasty on and off the air.

01:01:46.000 And who knew she was a comedian, I guess in the Catskills years ago.

01:01:51.080 I don't know.

01:01:52.100 I cannot imagine her funny.

01:01:53.920 No.

01:01:54.120 She's so mean and nasty.

01:01:57.440 Just angry.

01:01:58.340 They're just angry people.

01:01:59.420 And I got to say to, you know, maybe there's some crossover here, women who sit at home

01:02:05.020 and watch that show.

01:02:06.600 Just as we know what we eat, like the food that we eat, you eat garbage, you're going

01:02:10.880 to gain weight, you're going to feel slow.

01:02:12.000 You're not going to, you know, look your best in your bikini in the summer.

01:02:15.860 What you listen to and what you watch is going to be your life.

01:02:20.520 So if you're watching their nasty drama every day, that's what you're feeding yourself.

01:02:25.700 It's going to be your life.

01:02:26.640 A great Eastern line that says, that which you gaze upon, you become.

01:02:32.320 I am Colonel Sanders.

01:02:36.800 Wait a minute.

01:02:37.640 I'm sorry.

01:02:38.180 I'm looking at you.

01:02:38.840 I'm gazing.

01:02:39.520 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:40.740 I don't look like Colonel Sanders exactly.

01:02:43.640 The glasses are different.

01:02:44.520 Yeah, it was just when you had the vest earlier with this shirt.

01:02:46.920 It was like, you're wearing the uniform.

01:02:47.740 Oh, now I'm going to have to wear my sweater in here.

01:02:49.620 Because it's chilly.

01:02:50.180 It's a little chilly in here.

01:02:51.100 Yeah, they weren't very nice to me on the view.

01:02:53.360 And the funniest.

01:02:54.840 Go ahead.

01:02:55.380 Go ahead.

01:02:55.660 No, I wanted to.

01:02:57.040 Okay.

01:02:57.520 Well, I was lied to to go on the show.

01:03:00.220 They said that I was going on to talk about women in comedy and how there's a double standard

01:03:03.800 for what's acceptable.

01:03:06.380 And then I've told people this before, but I was in my dressing room and I was by myself.

01:03:10.460 I didn't bring a publicist.

01:03:11.220 I was just whatever.

01:03:11.940 I was like, oh, I'll stop in and do the view quick.

01:03:13.380 And I'm in the dressing room and I see on my monitor that they have up a photo of me and

01:03:19.040 the worst photo they could get.

01:03:20.520 And it was like fat shamer right across it.

01:03:23.020 And I was like, where the fuck is the volume?

01:03:25.100 And I go and find the converter and I turn up the volume and I can hear their pre-roll for

01:03:29.560 what they're going to say about me.

01:03:30.880 And it was just awful.

01:03:32.700 Like they were just about to try and drag me across the coals and they were doing it

01:03:36.660 because they made fun of nurses the day before and nurses hated them and they had to get those

01:03:40.300 women back somehow.

01:03:41.340 So we need an enemy.

01:03:43.340 And yeah, I was like, okay, well, that's what they're about to do to me.

01:03:47.640 So I'm going to put on my skeleton dress because fuck them.

01:03:52.240 So I had a dress in my suitcase that had a skeleton on it.

01:03:55.240 And I'm like, this will piss them off.

01:03:56.760 Or if not, it's going to make me laugh.

01:03:58.880 And when they go crazy, I'm going to go calm because all they want is for me to explode

01:04:05.220 so that I can be a villain.

01:04:06.380 It's so great.

01:04:07.960 I learned that early on.

01:04:10.560 The louder someone else gets, get just a little more quiet.

01:04:15.000 It drives them nuts.

01:04:16.760 It's so great.

01:04:19.080 And the visual juxtaposition is pretty great for the audience.

01:04:22.520 Yeah.

01:04:23.220 And I got some big laughs from their audience and they censored it as if I was swearing,

01:04:27.220 which I didn't.

01:04:28.460 And because they didn't want the mass audience to know that.

01:04:31.620 Yeah, I'm a comic.

01:04:33.120 And I was at Whoopi's show not that long before that.

01:04:37.120 And half the audience walked out because their jokes were crap and they were so dirty.

01:04:40.480 And she was talking about her pussy.

01:04:42.400 And I'm like, nobody wants to visualize that.

01:04:45.080 But yeah, half the audience walked out on her and she doesn't get canceled for it.

01:04:50.740 And here she is sitting up there.

01:04:52.520 Comics don't cancel other comics.

01:04:54.200 You just don't.

01:04:55.100 Like, I'm not even mad at Louis C.K.

01:04:56.740 If I'm not mistaken, so am I.

01:05:00.140 If I'm not mistaken, didn't she stand up for a comic before they introduced you?

01:05:06.740 She was...

01:05:07.740 I think so.

01:05:08.460 Yeah, and she said comedy should have no bounds.

01:05:11.040 And then she comes to you.

01:05:13.440 Yeah.

01:05:14.300 It's like, dude, what are you doing?

01:05:16.260 And yeah, to me, she's not a comic anymore.

01:05:18.540 She hasn't been a comic for a long time.

01:05:20.640 She wasn't a comic back then, I don't even think.

01:05:22.700 I don't think she was ever really funny.

01:05:24.220 I mean, the movies were fun.

01:05:25.620 But like, yeah.

01:05:26.180 It was really disappointing to meet some people that I looked up to over the last few years

01:05:30.180 to realize that they're just in the machine and they don't actually have any views or

01:05:34.540 opinions or anything.

01:05:35.540 They're just doing the dance.

01:05:38.700 It's like, these are just minstrel shows with different people.

01:05:42.140 Yeah.

01:05:43.040 When I was on The View, I was invited on because...

01:05:47.580 What'd you do?

01:05:48.360 Well, I may have said some things about Barbara Walter, you know, sleeping upside down like

01:05:58.640 a vampire and just a swoop out...

01:06:00.740 We don't know if that's not true.

01:06:02.380 We don't know if it's not true.

01:06:02.980 Yeah.

01:06:03.500 Right.

01:06:04.220 But I was on a train going to Washington, D.C. from New York.

01:06:09.820 I was living and working in Manhattan at the time.

01:06:12.420 And this train is like, come on, come on.

01:06:16.300 When are we going to leave?

01:06:17.100 And it was being held.

01:06:18.160 And it was held for like 10 minutes or so.

01:06:21.040 And I'm with a bunch of people.

01:06:24.180 And I said to the other guys, sit over there.

01:06:29.040 And immediately the conductor said, no, no, no.

01:06:31.940 Those are reserved.

01:06:33.080 And I said, this isn't a reserved car.

01:06:36.220 What are you talking about?

01:06:36.820 Yeah.

01:06:37.580 10 minutes late.

01:06:38.440 Finally, Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg run onto the train, sit into those seats,

01:06:42.960 and the train takes off.

01:06:44.080 So I get on the air and I said, these frauds.

01:06:48.940 Yeah.

01:06:49.680 First of all, you don't save seats.

01:06:52.660 Well, I did this monologue and it got to them and they were so pissed.

01:06:56.420 So they had me on.

01:06:57.200 And for some other reason, but that's all they wanted to talk about.

01:07:01.880 They wanted to cackle on you.

01:07:03.820 It pissed off people that worked for Amtrak that the guy produced.

01:07:09.660 Yes.

01:07:10.260 I got a call from ABC television at this time.

01:07:13.020 They denied all of it.

01:07:16.020 All of it.

01:07:17.120 And I'm like, who does this?

01:07:21.460 Psychos.

01:07:23.000 It's just bizarre.

01:07:24.320 They don't care.

01:07:26.140 No.

01:07:27.120 No.

01:07:27.440 The rules are whatever benefits them at any given moment, at any given time.

01:07:31.400 Like, I remember sitting there with Raven Simone beside me.

01:07:34.180 Her being like, well, how do people know what's in the food?

01:07:38.440 And in my mind, I'm like, Nicole, stay calm.

01:07:41.720 Because I was about to go, you dumb bitch, turn it over.

01:07:44.760 You live in America.

01:07:45.900 The ingredients are on the back.

01:07:47.340 It shows you how much fat there is, carbohydrates, everything.

01:07:49.500 You know, your daily intake should be 2,500 calories if you're trying to lose weight.

01:07:53.580 This is simple shit.

01:07:55.320 And I was like, just stay calm.

01:07:56.700 Just keep it chill.

01:07:57.720 Because she won't even accept that.

01:07:59.760 She doesn't want the answer.

01:08:01.120 She just wants to speak with air.

01:08:03.380 Yeah.

01:08:04.000 So where do we go from here?

01:08:05.620 I want to ask first as a nation or as a culture.

01:08:08.700 Okay.

01:08:09.680 What's headed our way?

01:08:11.920 Okay.

01:08:12.360 I think the opposite of war isn't peace.

01:08:18.340 It's creation.

01:08:20.040 And I can't take credit for that.

01:08:21.900 That's from Levy Bohème from Rhett.

01:08:24.900 But that's the truth.

01:08:26.540 So you can't just keep fighting in their arena.

01:08:29.920 Go build your own arenas.

01:08:31.600 I'm sitting in your studio.

01:08:33.420 You know, I think that's where we have to go is just suffocate the air out of these stupids.

01:08:40.340 The people who are writing for the Washington Post, for these other newspapers, they're not journalists anymore.

01:08:45.880 They're student bloggers.

01:08:47.020 I always say this.

01:08:48.760 Click on who wrote the article before you read it.

01:08:52.140 If you don't respect them, don't read their shit.

01:08:54.760 It's not the Washington Post wrote it.

01:08:56.580 It's like this loser wrote it and they just need content all day because they get paid on the clicks.

01:09:00.320 So it's hashtag who wrote this.

01:09:02.360 And I guarantee most of them are dorks that you wouldn't even respect if they walked in the room right now.

01:09:06.920 So I think that's important.

01:09:09.100 Only put in your mind stuff from people that you actually respect or at least think they're smart.

01:09:13.680 That's all you have to think.

01:09:14.420 Okay, maybe we have different opinions, but you're a smart person.

01:09:17.580 So cool.

01:09:18.160 When did that go away?

01:09:19.380 When did I have my best friends are the ones who I have clear fundamental differences with?

01:09:29.100 Well, we love each other.

01:09:31.440 Yeah.

01:09:32.160 I think that's great.

01:09:32.560 It makes it interesting.

01:09:33.640 It does.

01:09:34.300 Oh, people that are always the same are so boring.

01:09:36.000 Yeah, I'm not into that at all.

01:09:37.880 I think it went away with ad revenue moving from print to online and then needing clickbait constantly.

01:09:45.040 So they don't care about truth.

01:09:46.560 They don't care about facts.

01:09:47.480 They don't care about anything.

01:09:48.220 They care if it's a salacious headline that will get clicks, that will get them ad revenue because they can't make money on print.

01:09:54.280 So that's what happened.

01:09:55.140 It's going to change that because money doesn't talk.

01:09:57.280 It screams.

01:09:58.380 True.

01:09:58.800 So we just have to make more content than them.

01:10:01.580 That's seriously what it is to me.

01:10:03.780 I'm so happy with all the comics that are making videos.

01:10:06.560 Shout out to the pandemic.

01:10:07.720 Thanks for that.

01:10:08.740 All the comics that you might not have seen because they're in the clubs.

01:10:12.020 They're on tours that you would never go to because you don't know them yet.

01:10:14.960 They were all forced to make videos now.

01:10:16.580 And I'm like, guys, I told you.

01:10:19.020 And they're killing it.

01:10:20.560 So now there's more people coming out, coming out.

01:10:23.620 And the more we just have to out content them is what happens.

01:10:26.560 That's what I think we need to do.

01:10:28.440 And do I think, you know, maybe civil war and all these other things are coming?

01:10:33.100 Yes.

01:10:33.480 Am I hopeful that the right thing is going to happen?

01:10:35.880 Yes.

01:10:36.820 I good always wins.

01:10:38.900 This is the way it goes.

01:10:40.220 Satan knows.

01:10:41.080 He's like, ah, shit.

01:10:42.460 You know, like you never win, buddy.

01:10:44.660 So I'm not that worried.

01:10:46.860 And all like the, to me, all like the snakes are all showing themselves.

01:10:50.340 Even to people who would have supported them.

01:10:52.200 They're like, hey, what the heck?

01:10:54.660 Wait a minute.

01:10:55.380 Chrissy Teigen, John Legend.

01:10:56.660 Why in the fuck did you have a professional photographer to go to the hospital for your

01:11:00.200 miscarriage?

01:11:01.200 Why was that person with you when you knew you were having a miscarriage, not a delivery?

01:11:05.660 That's creepy.

01:11:06.360 Hey, you're willing to exploit that much of your life to get in a magazine again the next

01:11:11.640 day.

01:11:12.400 That's twisted.

01:11:13.680 And I think enough people saw that that was twisted.

01:11:16.460 And I think all these people are just revealing themselves bit by bit.

01:11:19.660 And we just kind of got to sit back and wait, you know, that's what's happening.

01:11:22.740 And make sure you're not part of it.

01:11:25.400 Yeah.

01:11:25.660 Don't be part of it.

01:11:26.840 And remove yourself.

01:11:27.760 And it's pretty, it's, it's, um, it's pretty cool when you realize, uh, the people who

01:11:35.180 really changed the world didn't do anything special.

01:11:39.040 They just stood where they knew it was true and they were like, I'm not going there with

01:11:45.260 you guys.

01:11:45.980 Yeah.

01:11:46.540 I'm just going to stand here because I know this is true.

01:11:48.920 Yeah.

01:11:49.100 That's all they did.

01:11:50.060 Just stand up and go, guys, you're in, you're nuts.

01:11:54.660 It's not going to work.

01:11:56.100 I think that's awesome.

01:11:56.980 That's a good message for everybody right now, especially young people.

01:12:00.660 I just like sounded older.

01:12:02.020 Ooh, look at me go.

01:12:03.680 Try being Colonel Sanders.

01:12:05.820 Yeah.

01:12:06.140 I wouldn't know what it's like.

01:12:07.380 Okay.

01:12:07.780 Maybe one day.

01:12:09.220 That's a good Halloween costume.

01:12:11.000 I'll get my boyfriend to be a chicken and I'll be Colonel Sanders.

01:12:13.260 Like a sexy Colonel Sanders.

01:12:14.520 That's weird.

01:12:15.200 I'll write it down.

01:12:17.040 Yeah.

01:12:17.580 I just think young people, especially it's like, be careful what God you're worshiping.

01:12:22.020 You know, these TikTokers that it's like, it's just porn.

01:12:25.580 She's in a bikini and she's twerking and you're seeing the parts jiggle.

01:12:29.460 That's what you're following.

01:12:30.260 That's just porn.

01:12:30.960 You're watching porn stars.

01:12:32.760 You're on OnlyFans.

01:12:33.820 You're literally on porn sites.

01:12:36.120 This is ruining your brain.

01:12:38.820 So how are you?

01:12:41.080 Because I have teenagers.

01:12:42.480 Yes.

01:12:42.720 How do you navigate that?

01:12:45.280 Because you, I don't, it's just poison.

01:12:50.360 It's poison.

01:12:50.980 It's just poison.

01:12:51.780 Yeah.

01:12:52.320 And, but it's part of.

01:12:56.680 The culture right now.

01:12:57.320 The culture.

01:12:58.100 Yeah.

01:12:58.260 And it's going to be a part of our culture.

01:13:00.820 Yeah.

01:13:01.000 How do you, how do you separate that?

01:13:06.480 Especially when you're, you know, when you're a teenager, early twenties, and you don't really

01:13:12.200 know, you don't believe, oh, that's, it's always been this way.

01:13:16.600 Yeah.

01:13:16.960 It didn't affect anybody else.

01:13:18.760 It's not going to affect me.

01:13:19.760 I know the difference.

01:13:20.960 Apparently not.

01:13:21.760 Do you?

01:13:22.020 Well, I'll say for myself growing up, I would like work at nightclubs or bars or whatever

01:13:28.980 in between like the cheerleading stuff and all the other things I was doing.

01:13:31.620 And all the girls would try and hook up with the managers or the owners because that's who

01:13:36.900 had power to give you more shifts or they had money and they had a cool car and whatever.

01:13:41.020 And I just inherently knew I'm not doing that.

01:13:44.920 I will be the only girl here that doesn't do that.

01:13:48.120 And maybe I won't get as many shifts, but I just have a feeling it's the right thing to

01:13:51.600 do.

01:13:52.020 Is that your parents?

01:13:53.020 I think so.

01:13:54.620 I think my parents instilled by me playing sports and dancing and I was given love from

01:14:01.180 actual achievements versus, you know, you're special.

01:14:05.380 Oh, thanks.

01:14:06.360 Yeah.

01:14:06.640 I don't know.

01:14:07.520 Am I?

01:14:08.200 Yeah.

01:14:09.220 I don't get that.

01:14:10.840 It was like, do, do good things and then you get rewarded.

01:14:14.580 So to me that, that seemed like a cheat code.

01:14:17.580 Like I'm going to sleep with someone and get something.

01:14:19.700 Then they could take that away because I didn't actually earn it.

01:14:22.760 And because I didn't do that.

01:14:25.420 And I did that right across the board.

01:14:27.020 Like I never slept with anybody to get a role to get a, whatever I did the opposite.

01:14:29.980 I actually got fired a lot because I wouldn't do it.

01:14:31.960 If I added up all the money I dropped because I wouldn't do that, it's a lot, but I didn't.

01:14:37.940 And then a couple of years ago, I get a call from one of these club owners.

01:14:41.200 Hey, Nicole, I'm actually, he's totally changed his life around.

01:14:44.100 He's like, I'm part of this big event.

01:14:45.320 Uh, I told him, I think you'd be the best host for it during Toronto film festival.

01:14:49.200 I'm like, I would.

01:14:50.820 And then I do that.

01:14:51.900 And that turns into me meeting these great people.

01:14:54.660 And then they forced me to do that talk about my accident.

01:14:58.320 And then they asked me to be in their film dreamer that we shot in January that won three

01:15:03.380 Emmys a couple of days ago.

01:15:05.680 It's because of that decision, because he doesn't talk to any of those other women that

01:15:09.440 he used to hook up with.

01:15:10.420 But he was like, yeah, I don't know, Nicole's solid and she does things.

01:15:13.040 And this has happened right across my life.

01:15:15.440 So because I've planted these seeds of integrity everywhere, I'm seeing them pop up all over.

01:15:21.120 And for younger people, it will seem like it's the right thing to do right now to be twerking

01:15:26.460 and, you know, be in your bikini, do these TikTok dances.

01:15:30.160 I guarantee you the women who are getting famous for that now are going to have a really hard

01:15:34.040 time in five years.

01:15:35.080 It's just what's going to happen.

01:15:36.300 And even I had a hard time when I lost my body and my looks after the car accident.

01:15:41.860 But just look at the trajectory of Britney Spears, of all these women who came before

01:15:45.820 doing this.

01:15:46.580 It doesn't look good.

01:15:48.260 The Disney stars all end up with drug problems, alcohol problems, body dysmorphia, all these

01:15:53.500 issues.

01:15:53.920 It's like, you can avoid it.

01:15:55.660 You can avoid it.

01:15:56.960 And you just have to like, what are my talents?

01:15:59.640 And if you're watching something, it's like, what's this person's talent other than jiggling?

01:16:02.960 Okay.

01:16:03.500 And then try and do that.

01:16:05.000 And all your friends are going to be doing something different.

01:16:06.820 But if you want a different life, you're going to have to make different decisions.

01:16:09.660 I'm here to tell you, it pays off.

01:16:12.340 Like, it really pays off.

01:16:15.000 You have taken the long road, though.

01:16:18.060 And we are a fast food society, even faster now.

01:16:21.620 I mean, we're pissed if we're in a plane and we're flying 400 miles an hour, touching the

01:16:30.700 edge of the sky, and we're not able to download our movie on our phone instantly.

01:16:36.180 Yeah.

01:16:36.600 We're really pissed off.

01:16:38.240 Life sucks.

01:16:39.440 We're dicks.

01:16:40.640 Yeah.

01:16:41.220 Yeah.

01:16:41.640 We are, though.

01:16:42.440 We are.

01:16:42.760 I catch myself.

01:16:43.820 I'll be like, Nicole, come on.

01:16:45.300 Like, if I get upset about something like that, I'm like, I didn't have Wi-Fi on a flight.

01:16:49.520 And I'm just like, oh, now I can't.

01:16:52.420 Nicole, come on.

01:16:54.500 Come on.

01:16:54.880 You can walk, bitch.

01:16:56.260 You're on this first class flight on your way to do something awesome.

01:16:59.440 You're good.

01:17:00.140 And it provides you an opportunity to do something else.

01:17:04.700 Read a book.

01:17:05.560 Right.

01:17:05.840 Yeah.

01:17:06.440 But, you know, I want to tie this into you getting well and suicide.

01:17:16.120 Yes.

01:17:16.660 I've been suicidal in my life when I was young, and I wish I could say I knew I was down on

01:17:22.600 the floor, and I knew I'm either going to get up and kill myself, or I'm going to get

01:17:29.420 up and, what did you say?

01:17:31.380 Get up and.

01:17:32.220 It's not time to give up.

01:17:33.200 It's time to get up.

01:17:33.840 Yeah.

01:17:34.220 Yeah.

01:17:35.560 I knew that moment.

01:17:37.420 Yeah.

01:17:37.960 And it was so powerful, and I wish I could say, and the next morning, I felt better.

01:17:43.000 But I didn't.

01:17:44.020 For a long time, I didn't feel better.

01:17:46.420 Talk about the sacrifice and the planting of seeds, and to somebody who's like, I've

01:17:57.520 been doing the right thing.

01:17:58.480 I mean, it takes a long time of planting the right seeds.

01:18:03.160 That's what faith is.

01:18:05.760 If you have faith, there's no expiry date.

01:18:08.760 It's I have faith.

01:18:09.660 The end.

01:18:10.780 And I had bad days.

01:18:13.000 I always said, like, you know, I'll do something for one day.

01:18:15.260 I might have to be in bed for two weeks, and then I'd be in so much physical pain.

01:18:18.280 I'd be shaking.

01:18:18.900 I'd be throwing up.

01:18:19.640 I'd be whatever.

01:18:20.140 It was awful.

01:18:21.080 But I'd be like, but I had that good day.

01:18:23.840 I know I'm annoying to people sometimes, because I'll always come in with the positive, and

01:18:27.820 they're like, God, Nicole, I just want to bitch sometimes.

01:18:29.800 And I'm like, well, you can bitch, but I'm still going to give you the solution, because

01:18:32.980 that's what we should focus on.

01:18:34.860 And you should know you're going to have bad days, and then you're going to have a good one,

01:18:40.880 and then you're going to have some more bad ones, and then two good ones.

01:18:44.240 And you're going to give yourself something to look up to, and set yourself goals, little

01:18:48.420 goals.

01:18:48.980 You're broke?

01:18:49.960 Okay, let's get you 50 bucks.

01:18:51.740 How can you make 50 bucks?

01:18:53.260 And now, how can we make 70?

01:18:55.540 And then little increments going up and going up.

01:18:58.260 And that's why I was laughing when I'm like, I made a bunch of money on Bitcoin, and last

01:19:01.460 week I did really well in stocks.

01:19:02.660 And I'm like, I taught myself how to do it three weeks ago.

01:19:05.640 This is silly.

01:19:06.460 I was completely broke and in crazy debt five years ago.

01:19:10.680 That's not that long ago.

01:19:12.740 And I was like, I made over a million on silly videos.

01:19:16.240 And you know, like, you can flip it around.

01:19:19.180 There's so many examples, and not just me, but you can do it.

01:19:22.420 Never before in human history has it been, has there been so many opportunities for anyone.

01:19:28.740 I bet you are the same.

01:19:32.380 I have met so many million, multi-millionaires who are broke, because they have everything

01:19:42.460 they need.

01:19:44.000 Yep.

01:19:44.720 They just either won't do it, or they just don't believe it.

01:19:49.140 Yes.

01:19:50.580 Or they don't, ah, here's my little ad, they don't believe they deserve it.

01:19:54.000 But that's the subconscious, like, I think that there's this fear of winning that so

01:20:01.120 many people have.

01:20:02.040 It's not, what if it goes wrong?

01:20:03.520 It's like, well, I think when we dig a little deeper, you're like, what if it goes right?

01:20:06.540 Because a lot of people who are sick feel that way, because it becomes who they are.

01:20:11.940 Yep.

01:20:12.600 And they don't think that there's anything but that.

01:20:15.760 That is an identity that they know.

01:20:20.460 Yep.

01:20:21.220 And what if there isn't anything there?

01:20:24.080 Or, or what if I start to do this, and then I lose that identity?

01:20:29.020 Yep.

01:20:29.320 People just don't want to risk that.

01:20:31.920 And it's so tragically sad.

01:20:35.160 You gotta risk it for the biscuit.

01:20:37.020 Like, how's that working out for you?

01:20:39.180 You know what I mean?

01:20:39.720 That's like the Dr. Phil quote, and it's just true.

01:20:42.240 It's like, you're in this relationship, and it's shitty, and it's whatever, and you're

01:20:45.360 gonna keep doing the same things?

01:20:46.480 Well, how's that working out for you?

01:20:47.500 If you're ill, and you're not doing the steps to get yourself better, you have a crappy

01:20:51.040 job, you're not educating yourself so you can have a better one, or whatever, you happy

01:20:55.920 or not?

01:20:56.760 No?

01:20:57.320 Okay, then fix it.

01:20:58.440 At the end.

01:20:59.180 Like, it's actually that easy.

01:21:01.360 And I think we need to, you know, set boundaries for ourselves, and be like, I will not accept

01:21:07.240 any less than this.

01:21:09.160 This is what I want for my life, for my relationships, for my faith, whatever.

01:21:12.900 Don't accept anything else.

01:21:14.120 You're gonna have to work for it, but come on, stop being a little bitch.

01:21:17.780 Go work for it.

01:21:19.020 Like, millionaires and billionaires everywhere.

01:21:21.180 You're so right.

01:21:22.640 Have you, uh, have like a bunch of cheerleaders ever just wanted to beat the snot out of you

01:21:28.420 because you're just too happy all the time?

01:21:30.080 No.

01:21:30.680 They are my people.

01:21:31.560 They're your people?

01:21:32.220 Yeah.

01:21:32.740 Because, I mean, like, I like, uh, what's her name?

01:21:37.160 Uh, Jenoweth, uh, is it Christian Jenoweth?

01:21:40.020 Yeah.

01:21:40.760 Oh, yeah.

01:21:41.400 Yeah.

01:21:41.980 I like her.

01:21:42.700 She's a, yeah, she's a, she's a scream.

01:21:46.200 I think she would punch you in the face.

01:21:48.420 I think Mary Poppins might punch you in the face.

01:21:50.840 No, Mary Poppins is my homegirl for sure.

01:21:52.920 Really?

01:21:53.480 Yeah.

01:21:53.800 Yeah.

01:21:54.120 Like, I, I marry Poppins people all the time.

01:21:56.520 Like, I fly into their lives, and then I'm like, help them clean things up, and I'm like,

01:21:59.800 okay, bye, and then I float away.

01:22:01.720 Yeah.

01:22:02.320 Unless you saw me as competition.

01:22:04.460 Yeah.

01:22:05.080 Christian.

01:22:05.320 Are there times, are there times when you are just, or have you erased those times now?

01:22:10.520 That, of?

01:22:14.740 Being down, angry, and whiny.

01:22:18.240 It still happens.

01:22:19.580 Are you kidding me?

01:22:20.940 No, I have shitty times all the time.

01:22:22.940 Okay.

01:22:23.300 But then I decide to have a good day.

01:22:25.780 Like, I will be in a moment, and I'm just so much better at catching myself now.

01:22:29.180 Like, shitty things will happen.

01:22:30.400 Shitty things happen all the time.

01:22:31.860 Business deals that don't go the way you want them to.

01:22:35.060 Relationships that, you know, having a stupid fight with my boyfriend that it's like, wow,

01:22:39.700 we don't need to fight over this.

01:22:41.360 Like, we're the team.

01:22:42.660 It's us versus the problem.

01:22:43.700 Let's fix this.

01:22:45.060 Like, shit happens all the time.

01:22:47.500 It's just, I decide to have a good day.

01:22:50.060 I'm not ending the day.

01:22:51.480 I wake up happy every day, and I'm going to have a good day.

01:22:55.340 The end.

01:22:56.760 Last question before we end it.

01:22:58.420 Yes.

01:22:58.960 Where are you in five years?

01:23:00.880 Hmm.

01:23:03.540 I am, there's a couple things.

01:23:07.120 I like, I would like to have an entertainment empire.

01:23:09.700 I have videos, not videos, I have films, I have books, I have TV scripts, I have products,

01:23:17.680 and I have things that, to me, I just, I want to make the whole world cheer.

01:23:21.300 The end.

01:23:22.260 And, you know, I'm going to be married.

01:23:24.180 I will have at least one kid by then, and I'm.

01:23:27.920 What's your husband like?

01:23:29.180 He's awesome.

01:23:30.780 He is, in my mind, because I'm not married yet, he has his own thoughts and opinions.

01:23:36.120 He's talented.

01:23:37.000 He's kind.

01:23:38.360 He's faith-based.

01:23:39.940 He's been through his own shit, so I don't seem like some alien when I talk about mine.

01:23:45.080 He knows the difference between right and wrong, good values, and a team player.

01:23:50.140 Like, we're building the team.

01:23:51.300 Um, you are going to marry a man.

01:23:53.800 A man.

01:23:54.540 An alpha male.

01:23:55.760 Yeah.

01:23:56.120 Yeah.

01:23:56.460 Good.

01:23:57.160 Yeah.

01:23:57.620 Well, I can't wait to watch.

01:23:58.800 Thanks.

01:23:59.240 Thank you.

01:23:59.760 Thanks for having me.

01:24:00.380 You bet.

01:24:00.620 You bet.

01:24:06.040 Just a reminder, I'd love you to rate and subscribe to the podcast and pass this on to a friend

01:24:11.800 so it can be discovered by other people.

01:24:13.420 I'll see you next time.

The Glenn Beck Program - December 19, 2020

Ep 91 ｜ The Cheerleader Who Battled Suicidal Thoughts： How Nicole Arbour Got Back Up ｜ Nicole Arbour ｜ The Glenn Beck Podcast

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