The Golden One - January 12, 2015


Gains Kitchen. Tzatziki of Testosterone


Episode Stats

Length

5 minutes

Words per Minute

136.34822

Word Count

804

Sentence Count

90

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 JANE'S FUCKING KITCHEN
00:00:24.400 Greetings true friends, welcome back to Jane's fucking kitchen!
00:00:28.800 Today, we will admire what great guy I am, and to emphasize this, let us all admire my gains.
00:00:39.800 FUCKING KITCHEN!
00:00:40.800 Alright, so I'm gonna share with you all a glorious recipe to enhance your otherwise perhaps dry meals.
00:00:48.800 And let me first be quite clear, if any fitness youtuber want to call me out, remember that this is you.
00:00:55.800 You are but a dog, and I'm your master!
00:00:59.800 See that? That's my precision with this knife.
00:01:06.800 Highly glorious, if I may be so bold.
00:01:08.800 I've leveled my weapon skill, because I've played so much Skyrim.
00:01:13.800 So we're gonna have a cucumber, anyway.
00:01:16.800 This is one of our main ingredients in our little tzatziki here.
00:01:21.800 And, obviously, we're honoring good old Leonidas and good old Alexander of Macedon with this fine mix.
00:01:30.800 So, take the cucumber.
00:01:33.800 I'm gonna have a grating thang.
00:01:37.800 So I'm gonna grate this down in this little bowl.
00:01:43.800 Alright, sickening.
00:01:44.800 We have demolished the cucumber into the bowl of wisdom.
00:01:49.800 Second ingredient, ingredients.
00:01:52.800 Some fucking Greek yogurt, of course.
00:01:54.800 Because, you know, we're trying to be true to make like a Greek fucking tzatziki that you can have to chicken, eggs, fish.
00:02:07.800 I'm gonna have it along with some fish and salad.
00:02:09.800 So it's basically just to put some flavor on the food.
00:02:12.800 Also, where it's really nice if you're gonna make dinner for somebody.
00:02:16.800 Your fair maiden or whatever.
00:02:17.800 And to spice things up a bit.
00:02:21.800 And I'm actually in a stage in my...
00:02:24.800 In my life, as it were, right now.
00:02:26.800 Where I feel...
00:02:29.800 I'm hungry when I'm supposed to be hungry.
00:02:31.800 So I have a better appreciation for food.
00:02:33.800 Because otherwise, when I've been cutting really hard, I've been hungry all the time.
00:02:37.800 And then when I've been bulking really hard, I've never been hungry.
00:02:39.800 But now I'm like, okay, cool.
00:02:41.800 I don't have to eat all the time.
00:02:43.800 And I don't have to be hungry all the time.
00:02:45.800 So then I can spend a bit more time.
00:02:47.800 And, you know, go out of my way with the calories a bit.
00:02:50.800 But this is still a lean recipe.
00:02:53.800 And obviously, you can choose your yogurt according to your goals.
00:02:57.800 So if I were, you know, a week out from a photoshoot, I'd probably go with some quark instead.
00:03:03.800 Kvary, like the low-calorie, high-protein, Swedish dairy product.
00:03:08.800 Fucking juicy!
00:03:10.800 Alright, cool.
00:03:11.800 So, this is basically what it looks like right now.
00:03:15.800 Perhaps not the tastiest thing ever.
00:03:17.800 But we have another very important ingredient.
00:03:21.800 And that's obviously the garlic of testosterone.
00:03:26.800 I've actually blessed this so it will grant me 10-plus in testosterone for 24 hours.
00:03:30.800 And obviously, gladiators in good old Rome ate a lot of garlic.
00:03:35.800 So we have to be true to them and eat garlic.
00:03:38.800 Like, simple as that.
00:03:39.800 So I'm gonna take half of it and squeeze it down right there.
00:03:48.800 Alright, utilize a little edit there while I was cutting up the onions.
00:03:51.800 And then it's just a matter of utilizing this little thang to, you know, get it in there.
00:04:01.800 Alright, so we have topped it all with some garlic.
00:04:04.800 And now we're gonna switch it around.
00:04:07.800 Alright, you proud sons of macedon!
00:04:11.800 The meal is finished.
00:04:12.800 Not the meal per se, but the accessories to the meal.
00:04:16.800 This is what it looks like.
00:04:17.800 All natural.
00:04:18.800 I amaze myself.
00:04:19.800 Look how glorious that is.
00:04:21.800 So, point with this is...
00:04:24.800 To put some fucking flavor in your food.
00:04:28.800 You're tired of eating chicken, stuff like that.
00:04:31.800 Just add some flavor.
00:04:32.800 Have it in some salad.
00:04:33.800 If you're living with your parents, make your parents a nice tzatziki.
00:04:38.800 Cook them a meal.
00:04:40.800 If you have a significant other, if you have a fair maiden, cook her a nice meal.
00:04:45.800 If you don't have a fair maiden, make it for yourself.
00:04:49.800 Because you are number one.
00:04:51.800 You have to be eating according to your goals.
00:04:54.800 And you have to acquire fucking glory.
00:04:56.800 So, for me right now, I'm gonna utilize that with some salad.
00:05:01.800 Some...
00:05:02.800 Always some spinach, actually.
00:05:04.800 I love spinach.
00:05:06.800 Some fucking olives to get that Hellenic feel.
00:05:10.800 Some good old tomatoes.
00:05:13.800 Look how glorious this looks.
00:05:15.800 Look how nice they are.
00:05:17.800 Sickening!
00:05:22.800 Yeah, and then I have it for, you know, a few days at least.
00:05:25.800 So I can have it in the refrigerator.
00:05:28.800 Refrigerator!
00:05:31.800 So yeah, that's my recipe for the day.
00:05:34.800 I hope you enjoy it.
00:05:35.800 Please try it out.
00:05:36.800 Comment below when you've done it.
00:05:38.800 And let me know what you think.
00:05:40.800 Perhaps not any revolutionary, but I felt it was a cool fun to show.
00:05:44.800 Admire my Targaryen mark as well.
00:05:47.800 Sickening.
00:05:49.800 And who am I?
00:05:51.800 That's a secret I'll never tell.
00:05:52.800 XXO BOOM!