The Joe Rogan Experience - April 26, 2011


Joe Rogan Experience #101 - Adam Carolla (Part 2)


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 40 minutes

Words per Minute

195.04225

Word Count

19,618

Sentence Count

1,824

Misogynist Sentences

55


Summary

In this episode, we talk about the recent events in Afghanistan and Iraq, and who s the bad guy or good guy? We also talk about how crazy it is that so many people have died in the war, and why we should be worried about it. We also discuss the fact that our troops are dying overseas, and what we should do about it, and if it s really as bad as we think it is, why we have to go to war in the first place. And of course, we have a special guest on the show to talk about our favorite movies and tv shows, and our thoughts on the current events going on in the world, and how we need to do better in our response to them. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! Timestamps: 4:00 - Who s the good guy or bad guy? 6:30 - What do you think about the war in Afghanistan? 7:00 8:15 - Who is the good and bad guy in Afghanistan 9:30 What s the worst thing we ve ever done to our troops? 11:15 12:00 | Who s our bad guy 13:30 | Where do we go from here? 15:00 // 16:00 / 16:15 | Who's the good guys? 17:40 16:40 | What are we are we fighting for? 18:30 // 17: Who are we trying to take over? 19: Who's our enemy? 21:30 / 22: What do we need? 22: Who do we have in Afghanistan ? 23:00/23:30/24: What would you want? 25:00 Do you want us to do next? 26:00 Is it possible to be a better country? 27:40 / 27:00 Can we do better? 28:40/30? 29:00 Are we better than them? 30:00 Who do they have a better than us? 35:00 What do they need to be better than we can we have? 32:00 Or are we have enough people? 33:00 Should we be more than enough? 36:00 We ve got a better chance to be more like us than they don t have a chance to win? 37:00 If you like it?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 There's a whole network of them.
00:00:01.000 I've done Doug Benson's and Duncan Trussell's and Duncan will be on the show tomorrow at 3 o'clock.
00:00:07.000 You know, and I did Marc Marins, and I'm going to do Eddie F and Jim Jeffries.
00:00:12.000 It's like doing all these podcasts, it's like, you know, it's like there's this cool network of radio stations that's happening organically, you know, instead of like Bubba the Love Sponge and, you know, the Pharrell Show all being, you know, stuffed into one thing by a corporation, like everybody's kind of found themselves and become like this network sort of organically.
00:00:31.000 You know, it's cool, you know, like, Fans of one will hear about the other, you know, like Duncan Trussell got some fans when, you know, he came and did this podcast and I came and did his and, you know, we, you know, share each other's listeners and stuff.
00:00:45.000 It's really a fucking, a very unique thing, you know, this podcast thing.
00:00:49.000 And as we said, it probably wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Adam, you know, him and also Anthony Cumia from Opie and Anthony.
00:00:56.000 Because Anthony was doing that live from the compound thing.
00:00:59.000 And Tom Green.
00:01:00.000 And Tom Green, yeah, absolutely.
00:01:02.000 Can't forget Tom Green.
00:01:03.000 Yeah, Tom Green doing his show on TomGreen.com, which I don't think he does anymore.
00:01:09.000 Yeah, I'm not really sure what he does anymore.
00:01:11.000 I think he went to some kind of subscription-based thing, so I kind of, I don't know.
00:01:14.000 Did you hear, completely getting off subject, did you hear what happened in Afghanistan?
00:01:20.000 What?
00:01:20.000 The Taliban escaping out of the prison?
00:01:22.000 No, what happened?
00:01:23.000 Dude, some guy tweeted me this thing, and the guy who tweeted it was really funny.
00:01:26.000 He said, what was his exact quote?
00:01:30.000 I don't want to fuck up this guy's quote because it was such a funny situation.
00:01:36.000 They dug, 450 Taliban fighters escaped out of, here's what he wrote.
00:01:42.000 He wrote, 450 plus prisoners break out of jail by digging a hole in the ground, an homage to Bugs Bunny and raising Arizona.
00:01:50.000 The guy's name is Gary with two R's, whoever.
00:01:54.000 So I retweeted it and then I read the link and it is pretty fucking fascinating.
00:01:59.000 These guys dug a hole in the ground like a fucking movie and went under the prison and got all the guys out of prison.
00:02:06.000 Wow.
00:02:07.000 Did they catch them?
00:02:09.000 No.
00:02:09.000 No.
00:02:10.000 I mean, not yet.
00:02:10.000 But the whole thing in Afghanistan is...
00:02:13.000 I mean, who's the fucking bad guy over there?
00:02:15.000 They didn't escape.
00:02:16.000 They were all murdered.
00:02:17.000 These fucking guys are running around with sandals on in the mountains.
00:02:20.000 And, you know, we got drones flying overhead, taking pictures of them, shooting missiles and...
00:02:25.000 Hundreds of thousands, who knows how many thousands of fucking soldiers over there.
00:02:29.000 Who's the bad guy?
00:02:30.000 I don't know.
00:02:30.000 It gets a little fucking blurry.
00:02:32.000 I don't know.
00:02:33.000 They're evil terrorists and they're attacking the Americans.
00:02:36.000 What are we doing over there?
00:02:38.000 You think you can just come into someone's neighborhood and they don't fucking shoot at you?
00:02:42.000 You can't just take over.
00:02:44.000 You know, when you take over, people fight back.
00:02:45.000 And when they fight back, well, who's the fucking bad guy?
00:02:47.000 Is it some kid who was born in Afghanistan and this is all he knows?
00:02:51.000 And this is the neighborhood he grew up in?
00:02:53.000 And all of a sudden he sees these fucking helicopters fly overhead and tanks rolling around the ground?
00:02:56.000 What would you think?
00:02:57.000 You think you're being invaded?
00:02:58.000 Who's the bad guy?
00:03:00.000 It's very, very tricky, man.
00:03:02.000 I mean, I obviously never would want anything bad to happen to any of our troops overseas.
00:03:06.000 But I also don't want them to do anything bad to all these fucking people either.
00:03:10.000 The whole thing's a clusterfuck.
00:03:11.000 Who knows how many people have become terrorists because of all the shit that we've done overseas?
00:03:16.000 Who knows how many people lost family members?
00:03:18.000 Who knows how many people who would have been sort of a moderate person who really wouldn't get into this kind of stuff got drawn into it because of tragedy, got drawn into it because of either someone they know or they get to watch video footage.
00:03:31.000 When you're dealing with shit like what's going on in Iraq, there's like a million dead people over there.
00:03:36.000 Over the course of the nine years of this war, whatever it's been, a million people have died.
00:03:41.000 That's an insane number of people.
00:03:43.000 I mean, if you stacked a million bodies up in the middle of Washington State Park and had everybody look, here's everyone that's died in Iraq.
00:03:50.000 Maybe then it would sink in.
00:03:51.000 Maybe then people would really kind of realize how crazy war is.
00:03:54.000 In fact, this is really how we have to do things in 2011. You know what's crazy is that I didn't know about that.
00:04:00.000 It would seem that that's something I should know about.
00:04:02.000 You didn't know a million people died in Iraq?
00:04:04.000 No, no, no.
00:04:04.000 About this news story you did.
00:04:06.000 But the other day I'm eating and it's like, we have breaking news here and now we're going to go live downtown Los Angeles.
00:04:12.000 Lindsay Lohan is going to jail.
00:04:14.000 Let's interview the sheriff and blah, blah, blah.
00:04:16.000 And then it was like, wow, this is crazy.
00:04:18.000 They spent like five minutes on it.
00:04:20.000 And then they go, all right, now for another top news story today.
00:04:23.000 The wedding of the century.
00:04:25.000 And it's those people that are getting married in the UK, the prince or whatever.
00:04:29.000 Have you heard about this shit?
00:04:30.000 I very peripherally saw things about it.
00:04:33.000 Every single news channel here in the United States, and why do I care about some prince getting married?
00:04:40.000 Why is this on the news?
00:04:41.000 People love that shit, because people love gossip.
00:04:42.000 The news has become like People magazine.
00:04:45.000 I mean, when you're talking about two wars going on, plus Libya, plus actions in Pakistan with drones, there's a lot of crazy shit going on every fucking day of the week.
00:04:54.000 A lot of it.
00:04:55.000 If you're hearing anything at all about Lindsay Lohan, and she hasn't killed 50 people, I know.
00:04:59.000 There's something wrong.
00:05:00.000 I know more about Lindsay Lohan than I do about fucking...
00:05:03.000 Let me ask you this.
00:05:04.000 Do you think that that is because the networks are trying to make the easiest to digest sort of program after people are tired from work and just give the dummies what they want?
00:05:19.000 Is it because the dummies want this or it's because that's the only thing that's on the air?
00:05:23.000 Do they have a mentality that people are dumb and in pushing all this Lindsay Lohan shit?
00:05:28.000 Look, here's the thing, man.
00:05:29.000 I can get into it, too.
00:05:30.000 I understand it.
00:05:32.000 I mean, I don't judge people.
00:05:33.000 Mrs. Rogan likes the gossip magazine sometimes.
00:05:35.000 She likes reading about things every now and then.
00:05:38.000 And I make fun of it.
00:05:40.000 I make fun of it.
00:05:41.000 But if I'm taking a shit, I'll start reading it.
00:05:44.000 And I'll start reading it.
00:05:44.000 Damn, he just left her like that?
00:05:46.000 And what is she doing?
00:05:47.000 Oh man, she's fucking that guy now?
00:05:48.000 Whoa, this is crazy.
00:05:49.000 And now she's got a baby, I bet he's mad.
00:05:52.000 It's easy.
00:05:53.000 We have instincts to gossip and we have instincts to follow silly fucking stories in the news, whether it's about the princess or especially when it's royalty.
00:06:02.000 That's when it's so squirrely.
00:06:03.000 It's like that prince, that guy doesn't do shit.
00:06:06.000 He doesn't do shit.
00:06:08.000 He's a prince.
00:06:09.000 I mean, he hasn't done anything.
00:06:10.000 He hasn't been elected.
00:06:11.000 He hasn't written some awesome books that everybody loves.
00:06:14.000 This guy's only famous because he's a prince.
00:06:17.000 I mean, that's just fucking completely insane.
00:06:20.000 When you get into royalty, it's the ultimate form of celebrity.
00:06:24.000 You know, an entitled celebrity for no reason.
00:06:26.000 At least Kim Kardashian sucks some dicks.
00:06:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:06:30.000 At least he can masturbate to that.
00:06:32.000 Yeah, well, you know, everybody talks about how Kim Kardashian's become famous over nothing.
00:06:36.000 Sort of, but no.
00:06:37.000 No.
00:06:38.000 She became famous because she let that black guy fuck the shit out of her on camera.
00:06:42.000 Yeah, but she's now making millions and millions and millions of dollars, and then you have these girls working like Jenna Hayes that's not making millions and millions and millions of dollars, and she pretty much does the same shit, but even better.
00:06:52.000 She did it once.
00:06:54.000 She did it once, and it was her boyfriend, and then it quote-unquote got out.
00:06:58.000 Yeah, right.
00:06:58.000 Now her family is making $17 million a month.
00:07:01.000 Who knows how much.
00:07:02.000 It's a lot of money.
00:07:03.000 They're making a lot of money.
00:07:05.000 She's everywhere.
00:07:06.000 But who knows who the fuck put that video out.
00:07:10.000 She did.
00:07:11.000 Maybe she did.
00:07:12.000 Maybe she did.
00:07:12.000 Maybe he did.
00:07:13.000 Who knows?
00:07:14.000 Maybe someone else got a hold of it.
00:07:15.000 Who knows?
00:07:16.000 But the point is, even if we knew that you put it out on purpose, it's okay still.
00:07:23.000 It's like people guess.
00:07:24.000 As long as you say that you didn't put it on purpose, you get a pass.
00:07:27.000 But if you do put it on purpose, if you make a porno video on purpose, you fuck on camera on purpose, you don't get in.
00:07:34.000 Isn't that strange?
00:07:35.000 Yeah.
00:07:35.000 No, E's not going to give you a fucking TV show.
00:07:38.000 You're not going to get nothing.
00:07:39.000 Unless it's a TV show on porn and it makes you want to cry.
00:07:42.000 Right.
00:07:42.000 You know, but keeping up with the Kardashians doesn't make you want to cry, you know?
00:07:46.000 Yeah.
00:07:46.000 You watch, like, one of those inside pieces on Belladonna.
00:07:49.000 Did you ever watch that show?
00:07:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:50.000 Where they broke her down?
00:07:51.000 Right, yeah.
00:07:52.000 That shit made you want to cry, right?
00:07:53.000 Definitely.
00:07:53.000 Yeah.
00:07:54.000 I'm glad she's retired now.
00:07:55.000 Hopefully she's happy.
00:07:57.000 Maybe she's happier when she's taking baseball bats in the ass.
00:08:00.000 Probably.
00:08:00.000 Look, it takes all kinds of people, dude, to make this world go around.
00:08:03.000 Yeah.
00:08:04.000 But it is a weird thing, though, that you're allowed to do it as long as you at least claim that you did it on accident, that it got released on accident.
00:08:14.000 But if we suspect that you put it out on purpose, you actually made your own sex video and released it?
00:08:19.000 I think it's pretty easy to get a video out nowadays because I've been realizing how many recordings now I've made of myself that I just accidentally tweet.
00:08:29.000 The other day, I accidentally tweeted something that I thought was a direct message out to everybody.
00:08:33.000 And then I was like, wow, that's close.
00:08:35.000 I caught it right away.
00:08:37.000 What was it?
00:08:39.000 A video.
00:08:40.000 I love you, baby.
00:08:40.000 A video.
00:08:41.000 It was a video?
00:08:42.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 Some sexy time video?
00:08:43.000 No, no, no.
00:08:44.000 It was a video of...
00:08:45.000 But it could have been sexy time.
00:08:46.000 It was a cheesy video.
00:08:48.000 Like a cheesy, like, oh, let's make a video together.
00:08:50.000 Oh, cute.
00:08:51.000 And then I accidentally put it out.
00:08:53.000 You know, like I was trying...
00:08:54.000 So did you delete it?
00:08:55.000 Huh?
00:08:56.000 Yeah, I deleted it right away.
00:08:57.000 There was only one person supposedly that commented on it, but like 170 people saw it.
00:09:02.000 And I'm like, fuck!
00:09:04.000 If there's just one person in there that grabbed that video, that would have been awful.
00:09:09.000 How embarrassing is the video?
00:09:11.000 It's not that embarrassing.
00:09:12.000 It's just gay.
00:09:13.000 It's just like gross gay.
00:09:15.000 Even the way you said it's not that, you lisp when you say it's not that embarrassing.
00:09:20.000 It's not that embarrassing.
00:09:21.000 You like submitted to yourself.
00:09:24.000 You crawled inside yourself.
00:09:25.000 It creeped me out when I realized I did it.
00:09:28.000 Well, give us the Cliff Notes version of what's on the video.
00:09:34.000 Do you want to play it?
00:09:35.000 I don't have it on me.
00:09:36.000 I deleted it.
00:09:37.000 I could get it off everything I could.
00:09:40.000 Is that embarrassing?
00:09:41.000 Well, give me the Cliff Notes.
00:09:42.000 What does it say?
00:09:43.000 It was like, I'm laying in bed at 7 in the morning, and my girlfriend's laying on top of me going, wake up, wake up.
00:09:49.000 I'm like, no, don't.
00:09:51.000 I love you, girl.
00:09:52.000 You know, shit like that.
00:09:53.000 I love you, girl.
00:09:55.000 I don't know exactly how it was.
00:09:57.000 Do you talk to her and pretend you're in a movie?
00:09:58.000 I love you, baby.
00:09:59.000 No, no.
00:10:01.000 If you don't know how to deal with chicks, maybe that's the best way to do it.
00:10:03.000 Just pretend you're in a Tom Cruise movie.
00:10:06.000 We did another Blackout podcast.
00:10:09.000 We started drinking at midnight.
00:10:12.000 We drank a whole bottle of vodka and two huge glasses of grape vodka.
00:10:16.000 Oh, shit.
00:10:17.000 And an hour.
00:10:20.000 It's me and Veronica Ritchie.
00:10:21.000 Oh, my God.
00:10:23.000 But what's so hilarious, it starts off...
00:10:25.000 This Veronica Ritchie girl is a penthouse person.
00:10:27.000 Yeah, but the beginning of it was a really awkward conversation because she's super shy.
00:10:32.000 She's what?
00:10:33.000 Super shy.
00:10:34.000 Super shy.
00:10:35.000 How is that possible?
00:10:37.000 Her whole family's really shy people.
00:10:38.000 They're all just fucking each other, right?
00:10:40.000 Is that what's going on?
00:10:40.000 I asked that.
00:10:41.000 That's how drunk I became.
00:10:43.000 And then there was one point where she went to stand up and she fell and did like a back So wait a minute, you've known this chick for a while, man, and that's the only time you've ever talked to her about molestation?
00:10:53.000 You did it on a podcast?
00:10:54.000 Yeah, it was pretty great.
00:10:56.000 Did she respond?
00:10:57.000 You should listen to it.
00:10:58.000 No, I don't have that kind of time.
00:11:00.000 Just give me, what happens?
00:11:03.000 I don't know, I don't remember.
00:11:05.000 I blacked out.
00:11:06.000 You don't remember whether or not she said she'd been molested?
00:11:08.000 Dude, please.
00:11:09.000 You remember.
00:11:10.000 I blacked out.
00:11:11.000 Did you say she's been molested?
00:11:12.000 I don't remember.
00:11:12.000 I blacked out.
00:11:13.000 That's ridiculous.
00:11:14.000 You're the worst actor ever.
00:11:15.000 No, I'm being serious.
00:11:16.000 You get fired from a soap opera.
00:11:16.000 I swear to God, I haven't re-listened to it.
00:11:18.000 Because I don't re-listen to my shit.
00:11:19.000 I don't sit around and listen to my fucking self again.
00:11:22.000 Do they cancel all the soap operas, man?
00:11:25.000 They canceled two big ones the other day.
00:11:28.000 They canceled the hospital one last year.
00:11:31.000 See, why do I know about this?
00:11:32.000 Soap operas might as well be opera.
00:11:34.000 It's awful.
00:11:35.000 It might as well be opera.
00:11:37.000 You're doing something that's old and stupid.
00:11:39.000 And the idea that you're going to have this crazy running drama every day and what's going to happen and she comes home and finds him with her and every day there's drama and crazy music and What a weird way to live, man.
00:11:55.000 Fucking Stone Joe.
00:11:56.000 Hell yeah you are, kid.
00:11:57.000 We did two volcanoes.
00:11:58.000 You got back in.
00:11:59.000 You dove right back in, son.
00:12:01.000 Look, we dove in just an hour ago and you dove right back in.
00:12:05.000 Have you ever tried one of the fake volcanoes that's like a copy of it, like a generic copy of the volcano?
00:12:11.000 No, I haven't.
00:12:12.000 It's called like The Wave or something.
00:12:15.000 I forget what it's called, but I just wondered if you...
00:12:17.000 Because it's only $90 compared to whatever the volcano is, like $400.
00:12:21.000 I don't know.
00:12:22.000 I don't know.
00:12:22.000 I wouldn't go budget on vaporizers.
00:12:25.000 No?
00:12:25.000 Yeah, it seems like complicated, man.
00:12:27.000 It seems like there's a lot of shit going on there and electricity and it's heat.
00:12:31.000 And anytime there's heat, I say you got to get the best thing because you don't want things burning through the fucking cord and blowing up in your house or whatever some cheap piece of shit would do.
00:12:40.000 Yeah.
00:12:41.000 Just get the stuff that's going to work.
00:12:43.000 That volcano thing...
00:12:44.000 What we're talking about is a vaporizer.
00:12:45.000 And what vaporizing is, ladies and gentlemen, is for the health-conscious amongst us, the stoners that don't want any of those bad, nasty bits that you take in from burning smoke, which apparently is not nearly as bad for you as tobacco smoke, but it's got to be somewhat bad for you.
00:12:59.000 It's just smoke.
00:13:00.000 I mean, I don't know.
00:13:02.000 It has some health benefits.
00:13:04.000 It's an expectorant, and apparently it's very good for people when they have asthma.
00:13:08.000 People who have asthma, at least some of them, have reported that they have a benefit from smoking the pot.
00:13:15.000 But what the vaporizer does is, it cuts out all the health problems.
00:13:19.000 It heats it up, but doesn't burn it.
00:13:22.000 And it blows air through it, and it releases this THC mist.
00:13:26.000 And that is collected...
00:13:29.000 In one of these.
00:13:30.000 And what this is, you hear it, iTunes folks, it's a plastic bag.
00:13:34.000 At the end of it, it has this little nozzle.
00:13:37.000 And you just suck out the pure THC. And if you suck out enough, you can see aliens.
00:13:43.000 And by the way, the Volcano, I've tried every single kind of vaporizer known to man, and the Volcano is the only one that I recommend.
00:13:50.000 If you're going to get one, get the Volcano, because that shit works.
00:13:54.000 Where the other ones, you're trying to adjust the temperature right, and sometimes it feels like you're not getting anything, then other times it's like you've got too much dark smoke for some reason.
00:14:03.000 All that shit is just too ridiculous.
00:14:05.000 The Volcano does it.
00:14:06.000 Yeah, it just figures out how to do it.
00:14:08.000 But I see how people don't want to pay that much money to get high.
00:14:11.000 Yeah.
00:14:11.000 I was on Craigslist looking and there was a lot of those generic ones on there.
00:14:14.000 You know, the only reason why all this shit costs so much is because it's illegal.
00:14:17.000 It's the only reason.
00:14:18.000 The only reason everything costs so much is because it's illegal.
00:14:21.000 Marijuana should be cheap as fuck.
00:14:22.000 It's a plant.
00:14:23.000 It's easy to grow.
00:14:24.000 It's a goddamn weed.
00:14:25.000 It doesn't even get sick.
00:14:26.000 It doesn't rot.
00:14:27.000 You know, you ever look at some trees and there's all these bugs fucking them up?
00:14:31.000 Bugs don't fuck up, reefer.
00:14:32.000 Step back, bitch!
00:14:34.000 You don't even have a chance.
00:14:35.000 Bugs don't have a chance.
00:14:36.000 Reefer doesn't need pesticides.
00:14:38.000 People always say, what happened if they put pesticides in your weed, man?
00:14:41.000 You can get DDT poisoning, bro.
00:14:42.000 That's what's wrong with weed.
00:14:44.000 No, you don't need it.
00:14:45.000 It doesn't need pesticides.
00:14:46.000 It doesn't get sick.
00:14:47.000 It's not like all these pussy-ass plants.
00:14:49.000 It's one of the toughest plants that's ever existed.
00:14:51.000 It's the best fiber.
00:14:53.000 The fiber that you make out of hemp, like when you make hemp jeans or clothes or...
00:14:56.000 It's like so much more sturdy than cotton.
00:15:00.000 And the paper, like hemp paper, is so superior to cotton.
00:15:03.000 It all became illegal.
00:15:04.000 Most people don't even know this, but it became illegal back when they figured out a more effective way to process the hemp fiber.
00:15:10.000 It was legal forever, but it became like something that people stopped using because cotton became so much more easy to process.
00:15:18.000 They came up with the cotton gin.
00:15:20.000 And instead of just having slaves pick the cotton, which was a huge pain in the ass, then they could run it through this fucking machine and it made it way easier.
00:15:26.000 And so people were like, fuck this hemp.
00:15:27.000 Because hemp fiber is like really tough stuff.
00:15:30.000 And you got to break it down.
00:15:31.000 Have you ever watched like manual breaking down of hemp fiber?
00:15:34.000 It's a laborious process, man.
00:15:36.000 Because the fucking stalk of this plant...
00:15:39.000 This is like an animal...
00:15:40.000 Or an alien plant, rather.
00:15:42.000 It's an incredible plant.
00:15:43.000 The fiber is super fucking tough and strong.
00:15:47.000 You make the best rope out of it.
00:15:49.000 The best cloth out of it.
00:15:50.000 It's so superior.
00:15:52.000 But it takes a long time to turn that fiber into cloth or paper.
00:15:57.000 It's really difficult to break down.
00:15:59.000 And then, in the early 1930s...
00:16:01.000 A guy came out with a machine called a decorticator.
00:16:04.000 And what the decorticator did...
00:16:05.000 Was allow them to process it just like the cotton gin processes cotton, allows it to smash it down into this pulp and make it much more usable, like almost immediately.
00:16:15.000 And then that's when they said, fuck this.
00:16:17.000 And that's when pot became illegal.
00:16:19.000 Pot became illegal entirely because of hemp, which has nothing to do with the psychoactive properties.
00:16:25.000 It became illegal because of William Randolph Hearst, who was running newspapers, and he also had paper mills, and they were going to make people start using hemp paper.
00:16:34.000 That was going to be the shit because you could take a forest full of trees and you chop them down.
00:16:40.000 Well, you're fucked because you don't have any more trees.
00:16:42.000 It takes a long-ass time for those trees to grow back.
00:16:45.000 But hemp?
00:16:46.000 You grow it every four months.
00:16:47.000 You'd have a new fucking crop.
00:16:49.000 I mean, you could use the same property over and over and over again.
00:16:52.000 It's renewable.
00:16:54.000 You get much more paper.
00:16:56.000 So this motherfucker was going to have to spend millions of dollars.
00:16:59.000 So them and DuPont, William Randolph Hearst and DuPont, they got together and they said, hey, we'll fucking say that pot makes blacks and Mexicans rape white chicks.
00:17:09.000 And that's all they did.
00:17:10.000 That's what they did.
00:17:11.000 That's literally what they did.
00:17:12.000 They started printing stories, William Randolph Hearst did in the paper, of this new drug called marijuana.
00:17:18.000 And what marijuana was had nothing even to do with pot.
00:17:22.000 The original name for marijuana was a slang for a wild Mexican tobacco.
00:17:26.000 So they call it marijuana and then say blacks and Mexicans are smoking marijuana.
00:17:30.000 So when Congress made hemp illegal, when they made marijuana illegal, they didn't even know they were making hemp illegal as well.
00:17:38.000 They fucked everybody.
00:17:39.000 And they did it in 19-fucking-30-something.
00:17:42.000 It's amazing that that shit is still going on.
00:17:46.000 It's still illegal in the age of the internet, where all the information is at your disposal.
00:17:52.000 Everything.
00:17:53.000 You can Google search every fucking study ever done on pot, and you can see right away that most people want it legal.
00:18:00.000 Who's stopping it?
00:18:02.000 Oh, people with money.
00:18:03.000 Why are they stopping it?
00:18:04.000 Well, because they're making money on marijuana being illegal.
00:18:06.000 And they're using that money, they're bribbing politicians, and that's how they keep it in place.
00:18:10.000 Fuck, really?
00:18:11.000 In 2011, you can be that open, it's that open, where you can see so clearly?
00:18:18.000 It's so sick, man.
00:18:19.000 It's sick.
00:18:20.000 It's sick that we live like this.
00:18:22.000 It's sick that you can put people in jail for wanting to smoke a joint and kick back and listen to some good music and Eat some food and have some great conversation with friends and not hurt anybody.
00:18:34.000 And yet cops can come and lock you up in a fucking cage for that.
00:18:38.000 It's ridiculous.
00:18:40.000 We know what drugs are bad, folks.
00:18:42.000 We know.
00:18:43.000 We have to stop letting people tell you that the drugs that are good are bad because they're fucking wrong.
00:18:49.000 There's ones that are bad.
00:18:51.000 Don't do meth.
00:18:51.000 Don't do heroin.
00:18:52.000 Or if you do, you gotta be a musician or something.
00:18:55.000 Heroin seems to be okay for musicians.
00:18:57.000 It kills you, though.
00:18:59.000 Did you see that guy...
00:19:00.000 What's his name?
00:19:01.000 Batista?
00:19:02.000 The Strikeforce guy?
00:19:03.000 Yeah.
00:19:03.000 Did you see his thing on TMZ the other day?
00:19:06.000 No.
00:19:07.000 He was talking about how his deal got cut from the merger with the UFC and the Strikeforce and stuff like that.
00:19:14.000 Do you think that's something...
00:19:16.000 Do you know anything about this guy?
00:19:17.000 No.
00:19:18.000 I don't know anything more than I saw.
00:19:20.000 There was a headline on MMA.tv or MixedMartialArts.com.
00:19:25.000 I saw that, but I didn't read it.
00:19:26.000 It's not interesting to me.
00:19:27.000 Not interesting?
00:19:28.000 No, not really.
00:19:29.000 I mean, he seems like a nice guy.
00:19:30.000 I wish him well.
00:19:31.000 But I'm interested in young guys that are coming up.
00:19:34.000 I mean, occasionally a guy like Lesnar, you know, but Lesnar was like a serious wrestler, you know?
00:19:40.000 Like a serious amateur wrestler.
00:19:42.000 That's what made him exciting.
00:19:43.000 It wasn't just that he was a big guy.
00:19:44.000 Is this guy not a...
00:19:45.000 I don't believe so.
00:19:46.000 I don't know, though.
00:19:47.000 I really don't know his background.
00:19:49.000 But I feel like I would have heard about him.
00:19:52.000 The way I heard about Lesnar, when Lesnar was a wrestler, back when he was doing pro wrestling, I had heard about what a freak he was.
00:19:58.000 People were talking about what a crazy specimen this guy was.
00:20:01.000 Dude, there's a fucking video of him We've talked about it on the podcast before, but it's worth repeating.
00:20:07.000 It's so ridiculous.
00:20:08.000 He was 300 pounds, solid muscle, right?
00:20:11.000 He gets on top of the fucking turnbuckle or whatever the hell it is, stands on the ropes, and flips through the air and lands on his head.
00:20:19.000 Yeah.
00:20:19.000 Lands on his fucking head.
00:20:22.000 He flew through the air and landed on his head, and he was still conscious.
00:20:28.000 And he climbed on top of the guy and still got the pin.
00:20:31.000 And you watch it, if you watch it, you watch him do that, and you go, that's supposed to kill people.
00:20:35.000 How did that not kill him?
00:20:36.000 Like, who is this guy?
00:20:37.000 How the fuck did that guy survive that?
00:20:39.000 It's supposed to snap your neck and break every fucking bone in your spinal column.
00:20:44.000 It's supposed to be just chaos for you after that.
00:20:46.000 Meanwhile, he finishes the match.
00:20:48.000 It's ridiculous.
00:20:49.000 So he was already this guy where people were like, this Brock Lesnar guy, man.
00:20:53.000 You ain't never seen a heavyweight move like that guy.
00:20:55.000 You know, we had heard about his fucking times and that was like one of the things they talked about during his wrestling days was his times in the NFL Combine.
00:21:02.000 You know, the NFL Combine is, you know, it's like, I actually can pull up the numbers because it's so ridiculous.
00:21:06.000 It's worth reading.
00:21:07.000 But the NFL combine is when they take athletes and they, you know, they run them through these tests like the 40 yard and you know, see how fat Let me find it real quick here I was gonna say something I am completely stoned now Brock and Shane, here it is Yeah, let me read this to you right here This is his crazy fucking numbers The 40-yard sprint.
00:21:29.000 4.6 seconds.
00:21:30.000 He's 290-something pounds, okay?
00:21:34.000 4.6 seconds.
00:21:37.000 That's like eight times faster than you can do.
00:21:39.000 I mean, stop and think about that.
00:21:41.000 40 yards, 4.6 seconds.
00:21:43.000 That's a fast 40. 225-pound bench press, 43 repetitions.
00:21:49.000 43 of 225. What the fuck?
00:21:52.000 His vertical jump, 35 inches.
00:21:54.000 His broad jump, 10 feet.
00:21:57.000 He hurls 300 pounds, 10 feet through the fucking air.
00:22:02.000 That's ridiculous shit, dude.
00:22:05.000 That's a freak.
00:22:06.000 So we had heard about that shit when he was around.
00:22:09.000 We'd heard about that long ago.
00:22:11.000 And so when I heard that he was going to go into MMA, I was like, holy...
00:22:15.000 I was there for his first fight.
00:22:16.000 I saw his first fight live.
00:22:17.000 It was at LA at the Coliseum.
00:22:19.000 It was for K-1.
00:22:20.000 Took this fucking dude down and just smashed him.
00:22:23.000 And I remember looking at that going, who's going to fuck with that?
00:22:26.000 Like, that's a dangerous motherfucker.
00:22:28.000 Some freaky guy who can get on top of you and just punch your brains in.
00:22:32.000 And try stomping it.
00:22:33.000 Good luck.
00:22:35.000 Of course, you know, Cain Velasquez eventually did stop it, but he was another freak specimen.
00:22:39.000 Yeah, when's the rematch for that?
00:22:41.000 Well, it's not going to happen unless Brock gets by Junior Dos Santos.
00:22:45.000 That's going to be in June.
00:22:46.000 Junior Dos Santos and him are coaching the season of The Ultimate Fighter, and then they're going to meet up in June.
00:22:50.000 How's Brock's training right now?
00:22:52.000 Have you heard anything about it?
00:22:53.000 I haven't heard anything other than he's back with Greg Nelson, who is the guy who...
00:22:57.000 He runs Minnesota Mixed Martial Arts, and he's awesome.
00:23:00.000 I'm a big fan of that guy.
00:23:02.000 I'm a big fan of his coaching, and he does great work.
00:23:06.000 He formulates good game plans.
00:23:08.000 He's a real student of the game, and his fighters are always well-trained.
00:23:13.000 All of his guys, very smart and well-trained.
00:23:16.000 He's handled Shirk, and he's got a couple of the young guys coming up, like...
00:23:21.000 What the fuck's his name?
00:23:23.000 The guy that just won a decision.
00:23:28.000 Fuck.
00:23:28.000 I hate that.
00:23:29.000 They opened up a Gracie jiu-jitsu thing.
00:23:31.000 Oh, the carny.
00:23:32.000 What's that?
00:23:33.000 They opened up a Gracie jiu-jitsu in Burbank right down the street from me.
00:23:37.000 Did they?
00:23:37.000 Yeah.
00:23:37.000 Are you going to join?
00:23:38.000 No.
00:23:39.000 Why not?
00:23:40.000 I took a photo of it.
00:23:41.000 That's pretty cool.
00:23:41.000 Get in there, dude.
00:23:42.000 Get in there.
00:23:43.000 Take a woman's class.
00:23:45.000 Take spin class.
00:23:46.000 Got a Gracie spin.
00:23:47.000 Have you been a Gracie spin yet?
00:23:48.000 Take the women's class, dude.
00:23:50.000 Step aerobics.
00:23:51.000 They have ribbons.
00:23:52.000 Remember those ribbons with the sticks?
00:23:54.000 Get in shape, girl.
00:23:55.000 Used to do that.
00:23:56.000 Used to tell me all the time.
00:23:56.000 Used to do get in shape, girl.
00:23:58.000 By the way, have you seen that guy?
00:24:00.000 Did you ever watch that guy's animation that he did for Bert Kreischer's Staples video?
00:24:05.000 No.
00:24:07.000 Or Barnes& Noble, when he used to work out in the basement of that bookstore.
00:24:11.000 Somebody put it to animation.
00:24:12.000 The same guy that did the first one.
00:24:14.000 It's fucking brilliant.
00:24:14.000 You gotta watch it.
00:24:15.000 Really?
00:24:16.000 Yeah.
00:24:17.000 That guy's great.
00:24:17.000 What's it about?
00:24:20.000 Fuck my lesson to you, man.
00:24:22.000 Are you going to do women's classes?
00:24:24.000 Why don't you put a pink kimono on and just look like a dyke?
00:24:30.000 Shave your face.
00:24:31.000 That's what I'm going to do.
00:24:31.000 Just go and say you're a dyke.
00:24:32.000 That's what I'm going to do.
00:24:33.000 Do they allow transgender in women's classes?
00:24:36.000 Like if you were a man and you decided to become a woman, do they allow you to take women's classes?
00:24:40.000 Well, you're allowed to when you get post-op or whatever, even if you're not fully, you're allowed to go to the women's restroom.
00:24:45.000 Are you really?
00:24:46.000 Yeah.
00:24:47.000 Post-op.
00:24:47.000 Or whatever, you know.
00:24:48.000 You know, that's what supposedly was behind that woman getting beat up in that McDonald's.
00:24:53.000 Oh my God, did you hear about that?
00:24:55.000 Yeah.
00:24:55.000 That's fucking crazy.
00:24:56.000 Supposedly, that's a transvestite.
00:24:57.000 Really?
00:24:57.000 Yeah.
00:24:58.000 That's a man who dresses like a woman.
00:25:00.000 That's crazy that we know about McDonald's.
00:25:02.000 Well, that video's huge.
00:25:03.000 I haven't seen the video.
00:25:04.000 You haven't seen it?
00:25:05.000 No.
00:25:05.000 It's pretty ruthless.
00:25:06.000 Those girls beat the fuck out of that girl.
00:25:08.000 And they keep going back.
00:25:08.000 They keep kicking her.
00:25:09.000 And then a girl kicks her when she's down.
00:25:11.000 Kicks, boots her in the head.
00:25:12.000 And the girl starts convulsing.
00:25:13.000 Oh, God.
00:25:14.000 Yeah, it's pretty rough.
00:25:15.000 It's pretty rough.
00:25:16.000 And people are like, oh, that's so fake.
00:25:17.000 That looks so fake.
00:25:18.000 Tell you what wasn't fake.
00:25:19.000 That big, gigantic kick to the head.
00:25:21.000 That shit was real.
00:25:22.000 You know, it's very possible.
00:25:24.000 People don't know.
00:25:25.000 People go into convulsions.
00:25:26.000 It's very possible that someone can have a seizure from heavy brain trauma like that.
00:25:29.000 Very possible.
00:25:30.000 Don't think it's not.
00:25:32.000 The girl really kicked her in the head.
00:25:34.000 It was real.
00:25:35.000 They stomped her head.
00:25:36.000 It was pretty rough.
00:25:38.000 And the manager's trying to keep the girls off of her.
00:25:41.000 He can't.
00:25:42.000 He's ineffective.
00:25:43.000 Everybody got fired.
00:25:44.000 The whole thing, it's pretty crazy.
00:25:46.000 But the idea was that she was a he-she, and she was going into the woman's room.
00:25:50.000 That's what I read.
00:25:52.000 Whether or not that's true, I haven't...
00:25:53.000 I don't know if they've interviewed her and got the whole full deal.
00:25:56.000 See, this is like another form of soap opera.
00:26:00.000 Antoine Dodson got arrested for marijuana possession.
00:26:02.000 Did you hear?
00:26:03.000 Did he?
00:26:04.000 Yeah.
00:26:04.000 Run and tell that.
00:26:05.000 Home, home, home, boy.
00:26:06.000 Somewhere in Alabama, I think.
00:26:08.000 What's he doing in Alabama?
00:26:09.000 That's probably where he lives.
00:26:10.000 No, I thought he moved back to L.A. I heard he was living in L.A. now and they were filming a new show with him out here.
00:26:15.000 Really?
00:26:15.000 Yeah.
00:26:16.000 Maybe he went back home and said hi to the homies and he got busted.
00:26:19.000 Hi, homies!
00:26:20.000 Uh-oh!
00:26:21.000 Uh-oh!
00:26:22.000 Yeah, back then, man.
00:26:23.000 You still can get busted.
00:26:25.000 Back there, rather.
00:26:25.000 Back there is back then.
00:26:26.000 That's funny, because I said back then.
00:26:28.000 Meaning like Alabama, but it is back then in time as well.
00:26:33.000 That's really what it is.
00:26:35.000 I'm saying back then because I'm thinking of it as being in the 50s.
00:26:38.000 I should have said back there, but back then is more appropriate.
00:26:42.000 They live in a fucking time warp.
00:26:43.000 Stupid ass place where you can get fucking arrested.
00:26:46.000 Oh, do you hear about the Rhode Island guy?
00:26:48.000 Here's another one.
00:26:49.000 I love hearing about politicians who get fucked up.
00:26:51.000 This guy who was a anti-marijuana House Minority Leader Robert Watson, he was arrested for alcohol and drug charges.
00:27:01.000 They pull homeboy over and he failed the field sobriety test.
00:27:06.000 So then they grabbed him and they searched his pockets and they find out he's got a plastic bag filled with pot and a wooden pipe.
00:27:15.000 So this fucking dummy, who is this anti-pot guy, It gets busted with pot.
00:27:22.000 And that, to me, that's like a gay guy who's secretly gay who votes against gay marriage.
00:27:28.000 They should be locked up.
00:27:33.000 You're like a traitor.
00:27:34.000 You're like a traitor for humanity.
00:27:37.000 You're a bad person.
00:27:38.000 If you really want to lock people in jail for pot and yet you enjoy pot...
00:27:42.000 You're a shitty human being.
00:27:44.000 You're willing to put your own personal gain ahead of the betterment of the people.
00:27:50.000 You're willing to take something that you know is not right and push it because you think more people are going to agree with you because it's the contemporary opinion.
00:27:59.000 You know?
00:28:00.000 That's a really shitty human being.
00:28:02.000 That guy, you know, I hope that guy is ostracized from the political community for life.
00:28:07.000 I hope they never allow him back.
00:28:09.000 And it's sad, but they probably will.
00:28:11.000 He'll probably eventually show up somewhere else and apologize or become a Christian or something stupid and they'll suck him right back in.
00:28:20.000 Enough people will believe in him that he'll get some shitty job in some shitty little fucking community where they won't bother Google searching what a douchebag he is.
00:28:29.000 Hopefully he gets eye herpes.
00:28:30.000 Do you know that should exist?
00:28:32.000 Where you can get herpes on your eyeball.
00:28:34.000 Really?
00:28:34.000 Yeah.
00:28:35.000 And it breaks out like once a month or whatever.
00:28:37.000 Oh my god.
00:28:38.000 Whenever it happens.
00:28:39.000 I heard of a story and I don't know if it's true.
00:28:41.000 So internet, do your research.
00:28:43.000 A wrestler was in the middle of a match.
00:28:46.000 His contact fell out.
00:28:47.000 Put his contact back in his eye.
00:28:49.000 Got staph from the contact lens and died.
00:28:54.000 Is this true?
00:28:55.000 I have no idea.
00:28:56.000 This could very easily be one of those urban myths.
00:28:59.000 But I heard the story and I was like, that is the scariest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.
00:29:05.000 Eyeball staph that winds up killing you just because a contact lens fell on the ground and the ground is so fucking polluted.
00:29:12.000 There's so much funk and fucking human slime on that ground.
00:29:17.000 That staff is some scary shit, man.
00:29:19.000 Remember how scary websites like Rotten.com used to be?
00:29:23.000 Fuck yeah.
00:29:24.000 What was the other one that was really bad?
00:29:27.000 Not Rotten.com, but the one that had the red and black.
00:29:31.000 Yeah, I don't remember.
00:29:33.000 I know what you're talking about.
00:29:34.000 I remember I would be scared to go there.
00:29:36.000 Yeah, there's a few sites to this day that I won't fuck with.
00:29:39.000 Yeah.
00:29:39.000 But somebody posted up a video the other day of a Mexican lady cutting some dude's head off.
00:29:45.000 Oh, no.
00:29:46.000 I watched the whole thing.
00:29:47.000 What?
00:29:47.000 I don't know what the fuck it was.
00:29:48.000 I'm done with that.
00:29:48.000 It was weak.
00:29:49.000 It was weak.
00:29:50.000 You shouldn't have done it.
00:29:51.000 She didn't just cut off his head.
00:29:53.000 She did a lot of other shit to him, too.
00:29:55.000 Oh, no.
00:29:55.000 And there's a video of it.
00:29:57.000 They showed the guy dying.
00:29:58.000 I mean, they show her...
00:29:59.000 And I was amazed at how...
00:30:02.000 How much I've gotten over the impact of those things.
00:30:07.000 It used to be, I would watch that and it would haunt my dreams.
00:30:09.000 Like the first time I ever saw Faces of Death, and I realized these are really bodies.
00:30:14.000 Like Faces of Death, some of the Faces of Death were, I don't know if it was exactly Faces of Death, but one of those type of videos, I remember one of them was super disturbing.
00:30:23.000 It was in some Middle Eastern country where they were killing a guy by tying him in between two trucks and pulling him apart.
00:30:29.000 Oh yeah!
00:30:31.000 Remember the blood orgy?
00:30:32.000 That was completely fake, right?
00:30:33.000 I don't remember that.
00:30:34.000 The blood orgy was where they had a body in the middle and they were like eating it.
00:30:37.000 Oh yeah, that was fake as fuck.
00:30:38.000 That looked fake as fuck.
00:30:39.000 Right.
00:30:40.000 Yeah, that looked stupid.
00:30:40.000 The train chick was always the one that scared me the most.
00:30:43.000 Oh, the girl steps in front of the train and gets smashed.
00:30:46.000 Oh my god.
00:30:46.000 And her body flies towards the camera.
00:30:48.000 Yeah, oh my god.
00:30:49.000 God, that's hard.
00:30:50.000 Yeah, monkey brains.
00:30:51.000 Oh, I forgot about that train one, man.
00:30:53.000 I forgot about that train one.
00:30:54.000 Woo!
00:30:55.000 And monkey brains?
00:30:56.000 Monkey brains is rough.
00:30:57.000 Yeah.
00:30:57.000 But I'll tell you what, that's a monkey.
00:30:59.000 I don't really care that much about a monkey.
00:31:00.000 I mean, I'm not happy that a monkey dies, but you want to see monkeys get fucked up?
00:31:04.000 Watch the chimps fuck up the monkeys.
00:31:06.000 Yeah.
00:31:06.000 You know, that's the most disturbing monkey shit online, is watching chimps eating monkeys while they're alive.
00:31:11.000 Yeah.
00:31:12.000 So monkey brains, I don't even know if that was real.
00:31:14.000 Yeah.
00:31:14.000 Was it?
00:31:15.000 Who knows?
00:31:15.000 I used to have Faces of Death.
00:31:17.000 I've talked about this.
00:31:18.000 Maybe not on the podcast.
00:31:19.000 And the UFC. UFC. And that was our scary tape.
00:31:22.000 Like, we'd be like, guys, I got UFC number two in fear...
00:31:25.000 Or whatever, the Faces of Death.
00:31:27.000 Yeah.
00:31:27.000 So we'd go and, you know, watch that shit and...
00:31:30.000 Yeah, it used to disturb the shit out of me.
00:31:32.000 Like that video of the guys getting pulled apart by the trucks, that fucking haunted me for days.
00:31:38.000 But now I can watch it and it's so much easier to digest.
00:31:41.000 My favorite one was, not my favorite, the most disturbing one where that guy gets shot in the stomach and goes, or whatever it was, and he falls down.
00:31:51.000 I didn't see that one.
00:31:52.000 You didn't?
00:31:52.000 Oh, that was one of the best.
00:31:54.000 I think it was Faces of Death 2. It was like a guy.
00:31:56.000 Yeah, he goes, and he falls down.
00:31:59.000 And we used to always say that growing up.
00:32:02.000 How about Bud Dwyer?
00:32:04.000 Bud Dwyer is the most disturbing one ever.
00:32:06.000 Was that on Faces of Death?
00:32:07.000 He was on one of those fucking things.
00:32:09.000 Might not have been Faces of Death.
00:32:10.000 I got a couple of other ones, too.
00:32:12.000 I should have never watched those, though.
00:32:14.000 But I don't know.
00:32:15.000 Do you think that it's bad that you become desensitized?
00:32:17.000 Because I'm not desensitized to it in real life.
00:32:21.000 What do you think it is?
00:32:21.000 I don't think it's good for your soul.
00:32:23.000 I think after I saw that beheading video, the famous Iraqi beheading guy, I think after seeing that, I'm like, you know what?
00:32:31.000 I'm cutting myself off of that.
00:32:32.000 I'm just not going to do that anymore.
00:32:34.000 There's no reason.
00:32:35.000 I don't need to see it.
00:32:36.000 I see what it looks like.
00:32:38.000 Yeah.
00:32:38.000 I don't know.
00:32:39.000 Yeah, I'm in agreement.
00:32:41.000 But yeah, you still do it all the time.
00:32:43.000 Yeah, I still watch it.
00:32:44.000 Not all the time.
00:32:45.000 Most of the time, I'm avoiding it.
00:32:47.000 But every now and then, I'll get stupid.
00:32:49.000 And I just get weak.
00:32:50.000 Because it's a forward movie to you.
00:32:52.000 Well, it's a little bit of that.
00:32:53.000 And a little bit of, I don't have anything particular that I need to be looking at.
00:32:57.000 So I just decide, hmm, let me see what the fuck's on this.
00:32:59.000 Hmm, let me see what's on that page.
00:33:00.000 And then I'll see it.
00:33:01.000 I go...
00:33:02.000 Alright, let's click it.
00:33:03.000 Let's just click it.
00:33:04.000 Let's see what it is.
00:33:05.000 You know what?
00:33:05.000 I think the best movie for you ever is if they made a horror movie, kind of like a Friday the 13th, but it was Friday the 13th, but the porn mixed in with it.
00:33:15.000 There was like six girls staying at this room.
00:33:19.000 Are you projecting your own fucked up weird shit on me?
00:33:21.000 No, I think that would be your favorite movie ever.
00:33:23.000 No, I don't like Friday the 13th movies.
00:33:27.000 Werewolves?
00:33:27.000 Yeah, I like werewolf movies.
00:33:28.000 I'm trying to figure out why, what the fuck that is.
00:33:31.000 I guess somehow or another knowing that deep inside people there's some sort of an animalistic nature.
00:33:37.000 That it is almost like a wolf, you know?
00:33:39.000 Because you're a werewolf.
00:33:41.000 No, I'm not.
00:33:42.000 I'm just a person.
00:33:43.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:33:46.000 Werewolves don't exist, stupid.
00:33:48.000 I remember when Twilight was big, you used to always say, you're a werewolf.
00:33:52.000 Brian, you're going to give me a bad reputation with these lies.
00:33:55.000 I don't think that's cool, man.
00:33:57.000 Poor friends.
00:33:57.000 You can't just fucking put shit like this.
00:34:00.000 And next thing you know, be on my Wikipedia page.
00:34:04.000 That's the next thing on the Wikipedia page.
00:34:06.000 I'm not saying that you should put in that during the Twilight days, Joe Rogan often said that he was a werewolf.
00:34:12.000 I'm not saying you should put that on there.
00:34:14.000 But if it's on there, I ain't hating.
00:34:16.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:34:16.000 I ain't mad at you.
00:34:17.000 I'm already on some man shit, you know, because when Daryl Wright said that, you're on some man shit, I somehow or another said something about putting it on Wikipedia, and apparently it's up there, man.
00:34:29.000 That shit's hilarious.
00:34:30.000 I don't fuck with my Wikipedia, so if you want to write some fake shit about me...
00:34:33.000 I got banned from Wikipedia.
00:34:35.000 I support your fake writing shit about me on Wikipedia, as long as it's funny.
00:34:38.000 You know, just be funny with it.
00:34:39.000 Just have some fun.
00:34:42.000 Fuck, man.
00:34:43.000 The whole idea about those things is silly.
00:34:46.000 You're going to allow everybody to just contribute shit.
00:34:49.000 How are you going to know?
00:34:50.000 How are you going to ever know?
00:34:51.000 How are you going to ever know unless someone corrects it?
00:34:53.000 What if they don't correct it?
00:34:54.000 What did you get banned for?
00:34:55.000 I don't know.
00:34:55.000 My IP was banned.
00:34:57.000 And I've never...
00:34:58.000 I don't think I've ever used Wikipedia.
00:35:00.000 And then one day it just started being banned.
00:35:01.000 So now I'm thinking like an ex-girlfriend was at my house going, Oh, I might say Britney Spears is not as hot as mining or something like that.
00:35:07.000 Whoa.
00:35:07.000 Do you really think that you...
00:35:08.000 First of all, you let chicks use your computer or they did it with their own Like their own computer.
00:35:13.000 You don't have no checks.
00:35:14.000 You got to stay off my IP address.
00:35:16.000 When you have a chick over your house and she starts fucking with your email, do you go, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:35:21.000 What the fuck are you doing?
00:35:23.000 I'm pretty good nowadays.
00:35:25.000 I'm not like some...
00:35:26.000 Have you ever had that happen though?
00:35:27.000 Yeah.
00:35:27.000 I would assume that.
00:35:28.000 In the past?
00:35:29.000 Yeah.
00:35:29.000 Because you're always into all kinds of weird shit and dating all these weird girls.
00:35:33.000 It's mostly ex-girlfriend talk.
00:35:35.000 Like, hey, what's this email with your ex-girlfriend?
00:35:38.000 Or something like that.
00:35:39.000 They look through your emails to find that shit?
00:35:41.000 I don't know.
00:35:41.000 Yeah, had to.
00:35:42.000 Had to be looking through your emails.
00:35:43.000 How else would she know?
00:35:45.000 Yeah.
00:35:45.000 So she goes on your computer, looks through your emails, and goes, what the fuck is this?
00:35:48.000 Yeah.
00:35:49.000 And then what do you gotta say?
00:35:50.000 Uh, you just tell them the truth.
00:35:52.000 I mean, like, it's just them overreacting on things, you know?
00:35:55.000 Like, hey, look, this is my ex-girlfriend.
00:35:57.000 You know, I dated her for seven years.
00:35:58.000 I can talk to this person, you know?
00:36:01.000 And then the music starts playing.
00:36:03.000 This is the beginning of a music video from the 90s.
00:36:07.000 You know, like Orange Juice Jones.
00:36:09.000 I call you and him walking in the rain.
00:36:15.000 This weekend, Toronto is basically sold out.
00:36:19.000 The only tickets that are available for the Massey Hall show.
00:36:21.000 It might be Massey Hall.
00:36:23.000 Sorry.
00:36:23.000 Massey Hall, Massey Hall.
00:36:24.000 Whatever the fuck it is.
00:36:25.000 Friday night.
00:36:26.000 The only tickets that are available are single seats by themselves.
00:36:30.000 And I'm fucking super psyched.
00:36:32.000 I'm super psyched to get to Toronto.
00:36:33.000 And I'm super psyched to be bringing my man Sam Tripoli with me.
00:36:37.000 Sam the Slayer.
00:36:39.000 Him and his faux hawk.
00:36:40.000 Shady Sam.
00:36:40.000 Yeah, Shady Sam Tripoli.
00:36:42.000 He's awesome.
00:36:43.000 And then the UFC, of course, is the next night, so it's going to be the shit, son.
00:36:47.000 I can't wait.
00:36:49.000 We are doing Sal's Comedy Hole tomorrow night, and that'll be at 8 o'clock.
00:36:53.000 Yeah, 8 o'clock in Hollywood.
00:36:55.000 Why are you frowning?
00:36:56.000 Oh, I didn't know that.
00:36:57.000 I haven't put together any...
00:36:58.000 Do you know?
00:36:59.000 All right.
00:36:59.000 Call Sal.
00:37:00.000 Tell them what the fuck is up.
00:37:01.000 Well, they asked me today if we were doing it, and I hadn't heard anything about it.
00:37:04.000 Shazam, son!
00:37:04.000 Now we know!
00:37:06.000 Yeah, I might be doing a show at a pot shop in Toronto on Thursday night too, Tripoli and I. There's apparently some underground pot thing going on in Toronto and they have shows there.
00:37:22.000 You know too much.
00:37:23.000 You already know too much.
00:37:25.000 So that might be going down on Thursday night, too.
00:37:28.000 I'll keep your freaks posted.
00:37:29.000 Did Doug Benson get a hold of you?
00:37:30.000 Yeah, he's going to be on the podcast May 11th.
00:37:32.000 And tomorrow, which is April 27th, Duncan Trussell is coming on at 3 o'clock.
00:37:39.000 So that should be awesome, bitches.
00:37:41.000 I can't wait.
00:37:43.000 Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast.
00:37:46.000 And if you go to JoeRogan.net, on the right-hand side, there's a link for the flashlight.
00:37:51.000 If you click it and enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:37:56.000 It is awesome.
00:37:57.000 Brian and I have both fucked it on numerous occasions, and we give it two thumbs up.
00:38:00.000 Get the Jenna Hayes one.
00:38:03.000 In support of Jenna Hayes, because she was on the Death Squad podcast, and she seemed like she was very cool.
00:38:08.000 She seemed like a nice person, right?
00:38:09.000 She did a...
00:38:10.000 She was nice, but she did what it sounds like when she has an orgasm on it, and it was like a minute long or something like that.
00:38:16.000 It was fucking beautiful.
00:38:18.000 Really?
00:38:18.000 Amazing.
00:38:19.000 She's funny.
00:38:20.000 She just embraces being a slut and talks about how funny it is.
00:38:25.000 Her whole thing is how she controls everything.
00:38:27.000 No music while the sex is going on.
00:38:29.000 She doesn't like big, long, stupid scenes.
00:38:32.000 She does it all herself, too, man.
00:38:34.000 She's got...
00:38:35.000 She's won more awards in porn than anyone.
00:38:38.000 It's amazing.
00:38:39.000 She's an OG. The Hicks and Gracie of porn.
00:38:42.000 Fuck yeah.
00:38:43.000 Is that what it is?
00:38:43.000 Yep.
00:38:44.000 She is, right?
00:38:44.000 Yeah.
00:38:45.000 So you liked that.
00:38:46.000 That was good?
00:38:46.000 It was an amazing interview.
00:38:47.000 Maybe we'll get her on this show, too.
00:38:49.000 That'll be fun.
00:38:50.000 Definitely.
00:38:51.000 We'll have to do it at your place.
00:38:52.000 Yeah.
00:38:56.000 Thank you, everybody.
00:38:57.000 And we will see you all tomorrow.
00:39:00.000 Oh, May.
00:39:02.000 May something or another.
00:39:03.000 San Francisco tickets are on sale.
00:39:05.000 Already more than half sold out.
00:39:07.000 So all my friends that want to come to the shows in San Francisco, it is May 12th, 13th, and 14th.
00:39:17.000 And like I said, the tickets are all...
00:39:19.000 They're selling very fast, so I don't want anybody to get left out.
00:39:22.000 And that'll be Joey.
00:39:24.000 Yeah, that's at Cobbs.
00:39:25.000 And that'll be Joey, and I think Ari's gonna do it too.
00:39:27.000 And you're coming too, right?
00:39:28.000 Yeah.
00:39:28.000 What, bitches?
00:39:29.000 Yeah!
00:39:30.000 Alright, my friends, we'll see you tomorrow with our pal and one of the best podcast guests ever, Duncan Trussell.
00:39:35.000 As always, I love you, bitches.