The Joe Rogan Experience - May 09, 2011


Joe Rogan Experience #105 - Bryan Callen (Part 2)

Topics
Ikea Heights comedy show community Death Squad shows
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Bryan Callen
Mentioned
Charlie Sheen Bobby Kelly Joey Diaz Russell Peters Eddie Bravo Jim Norton Russell P. That Brian Reichel Matt Brown Jim Morrison Chuck Lorre Tom Segura Edmonton Comic Strip Nick Sorter Brad Garrett Jeremy Piven Jimi Hendrix Comedy Club Sam Tripoli Jimmy Page and 45 more
JRE MMA Show #104 with Cory Sandhagen Joe Rogan Experience #106 - Steve Rannazzisi

Episode Stats


Length

38 minutes

Words per minute

224.11

Word count

8,606

Sentence count

942

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Toxicity

318

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Eddie Murphy joins Jemele to talk about his new movie, "The End of the World" and what it's like being a stand up comic in the 21st century. He also talks about how he got into stand up comedy and why he doesn't drink alcohol anymore. He also explains why he's not a morning person and why it's important to have a good night's rest before getting up in the morning. And he talks about why you should be worried about the end of the world because you're not going to end up in heaven, because you don't have to be in heaven to live in hell. This episode was recorded in Los Angeles, CA at the Comedy Cellar Comedy Club in Union Square, which is right across the street from Union Square from the Staples Center in LA. You can get tickets to Eddie Murphy's new movie on Amazon Prime and VaynerSpeakers. Click here to buy tickets here. You can also support Eddie's new comedy project, "Eddie Murphy's The End Of The World" here. You'll get 20% off the entire show when you buy your tickets at Amazon Prime on Prime Video. If you like the show, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review the show on Apple Podcasts! We're listening to your favorite streaming service! Thank you so much for all the support we've gotten so far this year! We really appreciate all the love, support, support and support we really means a lot to us and we really appreciate it. We appreciate you. We really really deeply. Thank you. - Thank you for being a lot. We can't do this. We're looking out for you, really really appreciate you, we appreciate you! - The Effing Thank You. We'll see you back. We love you. xoxo - Eddie Murphy - EJ. - Thank You, Eddie Murphy - Thank Me, EJ & JUICY! -Jemele - Thank You So Much, JB & JB - Thank Me Back to You, Thank You For Your Support, Thank Me & I'll See You, Gotta Do This, Gave Me Some Effing Me Some Love, Bye Bye Bye, Bye, Gonna See You Soon, Next Week, Soon, Soon Bye, Next Year, Bye. XOXO, Somethings - Ollie

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Stupid little fucking tube of paper that sucks in dangerous chemicals. 1.00
00:00:04.000 And you're telling me that I should be worried about the end of the world? 1.00
00:00:07.000 Your end of the world is happening right now.
00:00:08.000 I'm watching it.
00:00:09.000 You're inhaling. 1.00
00:00:10.000 You're addicted to a fucking little stick. 1.00
00:00:13.000 So true. 1.00
00:00:13.000 Yeah, your end of the world is already here, stupid. 1.00
00:00:15.000 The world is not necessarily predetermined. 1.00
00:00:19.000 Who knows how this is all going to turn out?
00:00:21.000 That's part of the fun of the movie.
00:00:24.000 That's part of the fun of the theatrical production that is your life.
00:00:27.000 It's true.
00:00:28.000 If we knew everything that was going to take place, it would be so boring.
00:00:32.000 You'd be bored.
00:00:32.000 If you knew that you were now in heaven, and you get to bang some chick anytime you want for the rest of your life, and you get to eat all the food you wanted for the rest of your life, you think that it would be awesome.
00:00:42.000 But it's not.
00:00:43.000 Not without risk.
00:00:45.000 Not without failure.
00:00:47.000 You need all those things.
00:00:48.000 As a human being...
00:00:49.000 You need to reach.
00:00:50.000 Struggle.
00:00:51.000 You need struggle.
00:00:52.000 It's part of, we are some sort of a monkey that creates things. 0.77
00:00:55.000 And if we don't create things, whether you create ideas, whether you create relationships, whether you create houses, whether you create jokes, whatever the fuck you put forth, that's what makes human beings happy. 0.99
00:01:06.000 If you're just living in the clouds, banging chicks and eating food, you would fucking live in hell. 0.99
00:01:11.000 You don't think you would, but eventually you would be in hell. 0.99
00:01:15.000 You would be in some weird situation where a giant part of what it is to be a human...
00:01:19.000 Is removed from the equation.
00:01:20.000 Yeah.
00:01:20.000 And it just goes back to what we talked about with welfare.
00:01:23.000 You've got to work to get something.
00:01:26.000 You can't just get it.
00:01:27.000 There has to be a struggle or you don't evolve.
00:01:29.000 And as soon as you introduce the option of no struggle, you introduce the option of...
00:01:33.000 You know, and people think that the struggle is over financially.
00:01:36.000 It's one of the reasons why when people are successful, a lot of people go, oh man, he sold out.
00:01:40.000 Oh man, you know, he's not hip anymore.
00:01:42.000 The struggle is never financial.
00:01:44.000 The best part about overcoming the financial struggle is now the struggle gets to be about thoughts and ideas. 0.99
00:01:51.000 Now the struggle gets to be about creating shit. 0.99
00:01:53.000 Now the struggle gets to be about getting to the center of what the fuck this is. 1.00
00:01:57.000 Getting to the center of what is this life. 0.98
00:01:59.000 And you can, guess what, you can think about what is this life a whole lot more when you're a comedian that gets to wake up at 1 in the afternoon and doesn't necessarily have to do anything all day.
00:02:09.000 And you can sit in front of your computer drinking coconut juice and smoking pot and reading online.
00:02:13.000 You can think things through in a manner that the average person does never get a chance to do You never have that opportunity.
00:02:19.000 And that's what you get paid for, too.
00:02:20.000 That's what kind of stand-up is, putting it into a funny light, but kind of like surprising people with where you're taking your idea.
00:02:25.000 Yeah, it's putting forth something.
00:02:29.000 And it's got to be hard, man. 0.99
00:02:31.000 I write shit sometimes, and I'll fucking go over and go, man, this bit sucks. 0.99
00:02:34.000 There's something missing in this bit. 0.99
00:02:36.000 I know it's there, but I don't know it's there.
00:02:38.000 And then there's this thing that I've just figured out how to do over the last couple years where I used to have a theme.
00:02:44.000 I would say, okay, today I'm going to write about Viagra. 0.99
00:02:46.000 We're going to sit down and we're going to write some shit about Viagra. 0.97
00:02:48.000 And then I would start about that and maybe it would go in a different direction, but not too far off path. 0.98
00:02:52.000 Now I just sit down and I open up a page and I just let it go. 0.98
00:02:58.000 I just get high as fuck and I let it all go, whatever crazy thought I have. 0.99
00:03:03.000 And then in the morning I get up sober and then I look at what I wrote and I go, what the fuck am I talking about? 0.99
00:03:10.000 I write shit sometimes when I'm high And I go back and read it, and I'm like, this doesn't even seem like it's me writing this. 0.99
00:03:17.000 Like, who the fuck wrote this? 0.99
00:03:18.000 Does it make sense? 0.99
00:03:19.000 Sometimes, yeah.
00:03:21.000 Sometimes, yeah.
00:03:22.000 Sometimes it doesn't, though.
00:03:25.000 But that's part of the whole zone that you get into when you're creating something. 0.90
00:03:31.000 You can't be afraid of looking silly.
00:03:32.000 I knew you for so many years where you never even smoked a joint. 0.98
00:03:36.000 No, you didn't do anything.
00:03:37.000 What was your turn?
00:03:38.000 Did Stan Hope get you smoked?
00:03:39.000 No, no, Eddie Bravo.
00:03:41.000 Eddie Bravo for sure, 100%.
00:03:44.000 He was really good at jiu-jitsu and we were hanging out together just because we took classes together and he gave me some private lessons and tied me up in a knot.
00:03:53.000 I was training with this other guy.
00:03:55.000 I was taking private lessons with this black belt.
00:03:56.000 He was a very nice guy.
00:03:57.000 He had good intentions but I could roll with him but I knew his game.
00:04:01.000 And you get to a certain point where you could roll with a guy like, you know, I could tap him out.
00:04:06.000 Very rare, but occasionally I could get him with something.
00:04:08.000 And part of it was him rolling nice with me and rolling easy with me and letting me get things.
00:04:11.000 But also, I knew his game.
00:04:13.000 Well, when you start rolling with someone else, you realize, oh, you've got to roll with a bunch of different people.
00:04:17.000 You can't just roll with one person because Eddie Bravo just went right through me.
00:04:20.000 He just destroyed me.
00:04:21.000 Part of it was because he was way better than me.
00:04:23.000 And really an amazing jiu-jitsu guy.
00:04:25.000 He's a genius.
00:04:26.000 A jiu-jitsu genius.
00:04:27.000 A true genius.
00:04:28.000 In every sense of the word. 0.99
00:04:29.000 But it was also because I sucked. 0.86
00:04:31.000 I thought I was good because I knew how to wrestle with one guy. 0.97
00:04:34.000 I knew his weaknesses.
00:04:35.000 I was physically a little faster than him and I can do things.
00:04:37.000 But then I started rolling with other people and I was getting tapped all the time.
00:04:40.000 I was like, oh, okay.
00:04:40.000 I've got to join class.
00:04:43.000 Eddie said, you know, I'd be happy to give you some private lessons.
00:04:45.000 I said, oh, awesome.
00:04:46.000 So we went out, we got some lunch, get some private lessons, and we started talking about creativity and life and music and stuff because he's a musician.
00:04:54.000 And he said that he writes his best stuff when he's stoned.
00:04:56.000 And I was like, that doesn't even make sense.
00:04:58.000 Right.
00:04:58.000 You're high?
00:04:59.000 When you're high, I was like, oh, you dope. 1.00
00:05:02.000 You loser. 0.99
00:05:03.000 The moments in my life where I'd been drunk, I was embarrassed about those moments. 0.99
00:05:07.000 I never looked back at the time I was drunk like I can now. 0.99
00:05:10.000 Now, we're like, we're fucking hammered and we're talking shit at the bar. 0.99
00:05:14.000 It's fun. 1.00
00:05:15.000 To me, I'm in control of my shit now. 0.98
00:05:18.000 So if me and Brian and Joey Diaz do shots in the green room in the Portland Helium, we're I don't feel bad about that. 0.99
00:05:27.000 I feel like we had a good time.
00:05:28.000 It was crazy, the next day I had a headache.
00:05:30.000 You know what I mean?
00:05:30.000 But back then I was embarrassed about anything that I did that wasn't positive.
00:05:34.000 And anything that I did that might make me a loser.
00:05:37.000 Anything that I did that might keep me...
00:05:38.000 Make you vulnerable too.
00:05:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:40.000 So he was so adamant about how weed made him, like, really creative.
00:05:45.000 And I was like, all right, let's do this.
00:05:47.000 Come on, pull over.
00:05:48.000 So we smoked pot, and then we had some ice cream.
00:05:51.000 And it was amazing.
00:05:52.000 It was the greatest ice cream I've ever had in my life. 0.98
00:05:54.000 And I couldn't believe that marijuana made this ice cream so fucking good. 0.86
00:05:58.000 I had an ice cream sundae with hot fudge, and it was the most incredible. 0.99
00:06:02.000 The sensation of eating the food was so heightened, I felt like a fool.
00:06:07.000 I felt like I can't believe that all my life... 0.50
00:06:10.000 Yes, that was it.
00:06:12.000 I was talking to him, and he's this fascinating guy.
00:06:15.000 Eddie is a very fascinating guy.
00:06:18.000 He's a free thinker.
00:06:19.000 He had a really hard childhood, man.
00:06:21.000 My childhood was not terrible.
00:06:25.000 It wasn't ideal. 0.93
00:06:27.000 I had a lot of shit happen to me. 0.97
00:06:28.000 I think a lot of us did. 0.99
00:06:29.000 All of us here did.
00:06:30.000 But his was horrific. 1.00
00:06:33.000 And because of that, he developed this ability to just fuck you, push people away, focus on his goals, and see things in a different way. 1.00
00:06:43.000 He's got this ability to look at life and break things down. 1.00
00:06:47.000 And a lot of times when we have conversations, he comes at it from a completely different angle than I do.
00:06:52.000 And I like that about you, too.
00:06:53.000 You will often do that, too.
00:06:54.000 And Duncan will do that all the time.
00:06:56.000 I love when people, like when I have a friend that's a close friend that's very smart, That will take things in a different way.
00:07:02.000 And I don't necessarily always agree with them, but it's a fascinating thing.
00:07:05.000 It's almost like if you value their opinion and if you talk to them about things, it's like you have one more you out there interpreting the world from another possible angle.
00:07:13.000 That's so important.
00:07:14.000 Yeah, and so I met him and right away I knew. 0.99
00:07:16.000 I'm like, this guy's smart as fuck. 1.00
00:07:17.000 He's a weirdo. 1.00
00:07:19.000 He's figured out some shit about jiu-jitsu. 0.99
00:07:20.000 And if you can get that good at jiu-jitsu, I'm like, you can get that good at a lot of things. 0.97
00:07:23.000 That's amazing. 1.00
00:07:24.000 You're a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:07:25.000 And he's a little guy. 1.00
00:07:26.000 Getty's not strong at all.
00:07:27.000 Right.
00:07:27.000 So he got really good at jujitsu all based on technique and leverage and he does everything the right way.
00:07:32.000 So you learn from a guy like that.
00:07:35.000 So I met him and I was like, okay, so obviously there's something good to this weed.
00:07:38.000 You can't think that it's all bad.
00:07:40.000 Who do you think is the best jujitsu?
00:07:42.000 I couldn't believe it my whole life. 0.98
00:07:44.000 I thought it was for losers. 0.96
00:07:44.000 I could just imagine you sitting there the first couple times. 0.96
00:07:46.000 He's like, I can feel it in my hands, Eddie. 1.00
00:07:49.000 Oh yeah, it was totally like complete rookie shit. 0.99
00:07:54.000 I remember Joey Diaz. 1.00
00:07:55.000 I said something to Joey Diaz once.
00:07:56.000 He goes... 1.00
00:07:57.000 Look at this fucking rookie. 1.00
00:07:58.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:07:59.000 I forget what I said to him, but it was some crazy rookie pod experience. 0.99
00:08:06.000 To me, I was calling him like it was the most profound thing that I ever heard. 1.00
00:08:10.000 He goes, get the fuck out of here with that rookie shit. 1.00
00:08:12.000 What are you talking about? 1.00
00:08:14.000 We're getting high, motherfucker. 1.00
00:08:16.000 That's what's going on. 1.00
00:08:17.000 Joey Diaz will break things down.
00:08:18.000 That is an uncanny, uncanny... 1.00
00:08:20.000 We're getting high, cocksucker. 1.00
00:08:22.000 That's just unbelievable. 1.00
00:08:23.000 If you ain't high by two in the afternoon, go fuck yourself. 1.00
00:08:26.000 There's actually a t-shirt that we put out on hire-primate.com. 1.00
00:08:29.000 Sold out instantly.
00:08:31.000 We got new ones coming out, folks.
00:08:32.000 I swear to God.
00:08:32.000 I got a lot more this time.
00:08:34.000 I'm buying as many as you can.
00:08:35.000 And proceeds do go to the Joey Diaz Weed Fund.
00:08:38.000 So all the t-shirt money is...
00:08:41.000 Right now, he's got a fat check coming to him.
00:08:43.000 He'll keep him in weed for weeks.
00:08:45.000 So that t-shirt should pay for all of Joey's weed for the rest of his life.
00:08:48.000 That's my goal.
00:08:49.000 If we keep...
00:08:50.000 You know, if he makes enough money off this t-shirt every month just to cover all of his weed expenses plus...
00:08:56.000 A few nice dinners here and there. 0.98
00:08:58.000 I think it's a fucking winner of a shirt, man. 0.98
00:09:00.000 I can't wait to wear it. 0.98
00:09:01.000 I don't even have one.
00:09:02.000 We don't even have one.
00:09:03.000 It's based on something he said once in the podcast.
00:09:06.000 And by the way, he says all the time.
00:09:07.000 It wasn't just that moment.
00:09:10.000 He says it all the time now.
00:09:11.000 He says it all the time. 1.00
00:09:13.000 He'll call me up sometimes and I'll answer the phone and just go, if you ain't high by two in the afternoon, go fuck yourself, dog. 1.00
00:09:20.000 I ain't playing, dog. 1.00
00:09:21.000 I ain't playing right now.
00:09:22.000 I got the banana bread from the Russians. 1.00
00:09:24.000 Fuck that banana bread. 1.00
00:09:25.000 That banana bread is the bomb diggity, son. 1.00
00:09:29.000 Yeah, where is this banana bread?
00:09:30.000 It's too psychedelic, right? 0.99
00:09:31.000 That fucking gave me a heart attack. 0.99
00:09:33.000 I'm a little blown away by your Joey Diaz impersonation. 1.00
00:09:35.000 Listen, cocksucker. 1.00
00:09:36.000 I can only do a couple impressions, but I can do them. 0.99
00:09:39.000 It's not that good.
00:09:39.000 If he was in the room, I could really do them.
00:09:41.000 I can imitate people.
00:09:43.000 It's as good as he gets, dude.
00:09:43.000 I know Joey.
00:09:44.000 No, it's okay.
00:09:45.000 Were you on MADtv when Matt Brunger was on?
00:09:48.000 No.
00:09:49.000 Oh, okay, Mike.
00:09:50.000 There's a guy we had on the show.
00:09:51.000 Have you ever seen Ikea Heights?
00:09:53.000 No.
00:09:54.000 What is that?
00:09:54.000 It's these guys.
00:09:56.000 This guy, Matt Brunger, who was also on MADtv.
00:09:58.000 We had him on Tom Segura and Christina's show.
00:10:01.000 But he was talking about how he was on this thing that you can find on the internet. 0.93
00:10:05.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.86
00:10:06.000 Where this comedy troupe goes into an Ikea. 0.99
00:10:08.000 They do like a CSI type show.
00:10:11.000 In the middle of Ikea.
00:10:12.000 Without Ikea knowing.
00:10:14.000 They have employees that are part of the production that will take the employees of Ikea and get them distracted.
00:10:20.000 And then they'll have full on guns and cops shootouts in the middle of a bedroom in Ikea.
00:10:26.000 So they used Ikea as a stage for CSI. It's fucking hilarious. 0.98
00:10:32.000 It's one of the funniest things. 0.98
00:10:33.000 They had to stop doing it because they were getting kicked out.
00:10:36.000 Every episode ends with them getting kicked out.
00:10:38.000 This is really cool.
00:10:39.000 That's really funny.
00:10:40.000 So these guys are actually doing a TV show and the set is Ikea?
00:10:43.000 Yeah, and the set is Ikea.
00:10:44.000 That's really funny.
00:10:45.000 And it's all improv using the set.
00:10:48.000 It's IkeaHeights.com.
00:10:49.000 Dude, they're in a kitchen now and then they're in the basement. 0.99
00:10:53.000 That's one of those ideas where you go, why the fuck? 1.00
00:10:54.000 What the fuck didn't I think of that? 1.00
00:10:56.000 I know. 0.99
00:10:56.000 And I guess supposedly they can't do it anymore because they just got in too much trouble. 0.99
00:11:00.000 Oh, please keep doing it.
00:11:01.000 Change it to Walmart Heights.
00:11:02.000 The last one they did...
00:11:03.000 No kidding, man.
00:11:04.000 It's called Ikea Heights?
00:11:05.000 Yeah, Ikea Heights.
00:11:06.000 The last one they did, they had a zombie attack or something like that.
00:11:10.000 So they just had tons of zombies...
00:11:12.000 But I was thinking, instead of doing it again and getting in trouble at IKEA, act like they move.
00:11:18.000 You know how in TV shows they move to different cities?
00:11:22.000 Kmart Boulevard or something like that.
00:11:26.000 Start doing it in Denny's.
00:11:27.000 Just Denny's.
00:11:28.000 Why not?
00:11:29.000 And that'd be the whole show.
00:11:30.000 I bet they probably will.
00:11:31.000 We probably don't even need to give them that idea.
00:11:32.000 If they thought of that idea, they couldn't have said, this is it.
00:11:37.000 I guess it's over.
00:11:37.000 They're kicking us out.
00:11:38.000 No, they're going to go somewhere else.
00:11:39.000 I can go to IKEAheights.com or something.
00:11:41.000 IkeaHeights.com and the podcast we had Matt on was your mom's house number 14 at Def Squad on iTunes. 0.97
00:11:46.000 Fucking hilarious, dude.
00:11:47.000 That's a great idea. 0.97
00:11:49.000 Every now and then, you know, one of those ideas comes along and you're like, wow.
00:11:52.000 That's one of those.
00:11:53.000 That's stellar.
00:11:54.000 It is.
00:11:57.000 That's what I love about, you know, I love being in, like, the comedy community is such an interesting community.
00:12:03.000 You know, I mean, it feels weird to even say that you're a part of it.
00:12:06.000 We all have this weird sort of, I don't know, Don't you have a weird sort of humility about the business?
00:12:13.000 It's a weird thing to even say, like, yeah, you know, I'm a pro.
00:12:16.000 I'm a professional comedian.
00:12:17.000 That's what I do.
00:12:19.000 I won't enter that discussion.
00:12:21.000 It seems odd and weird.
00:12:23.000 Somebody said to me, you know, you're professionally funny.
00:12:26.000 I know.
00:12:26.000 Jimmy Burke said, you are professional.
00:12:28.000 He saw the show.
00:12:28.000 He goes, you are professional.
00:12:29.000 I was like, oh boy, that's a...
00:12:30.000 It's a lot.
00:12:31.000 So it's a weird thing.
00:12:32.000 It goes contrary to the idea of being, or what makes you funny in the first place.
00:12:35.000 Yeah.
00:12:36.000 But being a part of the community, like having people like you as a friend and having people like, you know, Nick Swartzen come over and Carolla come over and all these people that I'm like, wow, Nick Swartzen's hanging out here.
00:12:47.000 It's a privilege.
00:12:47.000 Yeah, and Adam Carolla's really sitting there and you're really sitting there.
00:12:51.000 It's the fucking greatest thing ever. 0.82
00:12:53.000 The greatest community to be a part of, people who make you laugh. 0.98
00:12:58.000 It's true.
00:12:58.000 It's like part of this fraternity or something.
00:13:01.000 I always feel like, you know, boy, when you've done the road and when you've been on stage and, you know, faced audiences who are so different, you don't know how they're going to respond.
00:13:09.000 You've gone through something. 0.99
00:13:11.000 We were at the backstage of the UFC and it was a big UFC event and the fucking place was packed. 0.99
00:13:17.000 But Jim Norton and Bobby Kelly showed up. 0.99
00:13:19.000 And I saw Jim Norton and Bobby Kelly and I shot towards them like a slingshot.
00:13:23.000 Like I made a beeline to them.
00:13:25.000 Because I knew that's where the fun talk was going to be.
00:13:27.000 You know? 0.97
00:13:28.000 Jimmy fucking Norton is there and Bobby Kelly. 0.98
00:13:31.000 Bobby Kelly is hilarious. 0.98
00:13:32.000 I've known Bobby Kelly since we were like 21. I love Bobby.
00:13:34.000 Bobby kills me.
00:13:35.000 Bobby was with Al and the Monkees and Dane Cook.
00:13:38.000 They were an improv troupe, and I was the headliner, and they would open for me.
00:13:41.000 We did a bunch of those Aku Aku's, the Dick Daugherty comedy huts.
00:13:46.000 So we worked together a bunch of times when those guys were just coming up.
00:13:49.000 I was like a couple of years ahead of them.
00:13:51.000 Oh, wow.
00:13:51.000 A little older?
00:13:52.000 Yeah, I hung out with Bobby Kelly back in the day.
00:13:55.000 So I've known him since.
00:13:56.000 So you haven't known Bob and Dane for a long time.
00:13:58.000 Sure.
00:13:59.000 I've known Dane forever.
00:13:59.000 I knew Dane before he ever did stand-up, like, on his own.
00:14:02.000 He did it in a troupe.
00:14:03.000 He did it in Al and the Monkees.
00:14:05.000 What they would do is they would do sketches, and, you know, they were taking chances.
00:14:08.000 It was creative stuff.
00:14:09.000 And then they would each do stand-up.
00:14:11.000 They would each do, like, five minutes of stand-up.
00:14:12.000 And then I would go on stage after them.
00:14:14.000 And it was like, it was kind of like, I wouldn't say, like, they were opening, but it was so much different than an opening act. 0.99
00:14:20.000 They had a lot of shit going on. 0.98
00:14:21.000 Like, they did, it was interesting. 1.00
00:14:22.000 Funny guys, man.
00:14:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:24.000 So I've known Bobby since, like I said, I was like 24, and he was probably a couple years younger than me, like maybe 21. That's so funny, man.
00:14:32.000 It's crazy.
00:14:32.000 So I see them, and man, what you're saying, these are like soldiers.
00:14:36.000 They're like fellow travelers in this weird world of show business.
00:14:41.000 I have a lot of pride in it.
00:14:43.000 I do too.
00:14:44.000 I did a New Year's Eve show and I was in Ontario at the Improv.
00:14:48.000 And it was just packed.
00:14:49.000 And we were about to count off from New Year's Eve.
00:14:52.000 And I remember just stopping and I had the mic in my hand.
00:14:55.000 And I went, I really meant this to her.
00:14:56.000 I said, you know, I feel like a successful person.
00:14:59.000 Like, I can't believe I get to do this for a living.
00:15:01.000 And I said, if I die tomorrow, I can't complain.
00:15:04.000 Comparatively to how most people have to live their lives, their treasury.
00:15:07.000 And I get paid to make people laugh for two hours a night.
00:15:10.000 And I get to do whatever I want, when I want.
00:15:12.000 But like the lottery, it's not easy.
00:15:15.000 Never easy because you've got to keep reinventing yourself. 0.95
00:15:18.000 There's a lot of weird shit that goes on in the creating of material and going up there and fucking around with it. 0.89
00:15:24.000 Dude, and it never gets easy in a way. 0.98
00:15:26.000 It really doesn't.
00:15:28.000 But that's why it's so satisfying when it comes out. 0.97
00:15:30.000 It's just like we were talking about with welfare and the lottery and all that shit. 0.98
00:15:33.000 You have to have... 0.88
00:15:35.000 The only thing that's different to me is relationships.
00:15:37.000 Relationships, I want no work.
00:15:39.000 Yeah, I agree.
00:15:40.000 I want friendliness and love.
00:15:42.000 That's a good point.
00:15:42.000 I don't want any work.
00:15:43.000 That's a good point.
00:15:44.000 I don't have to work for that.
00:15:45.000 I don't want to fight all the time. 1.00
00:15:46.000 There's people that think that you have to fight, and I think that's a crock of shit. 0.99
00:15:50.000 You just got to find someone. 0.99
00:15:51.000 Be a nice person and find someone that doesn't want to fight.
00:15:53.000 Yeah.
00:15:53.000 Comedy is one of those things.
00:15:54.000 I just did a benefit with Gary Shandling and Kevin Nealon and Brad Garrett, who killed me, and Ray Romano.
00:16:02.000 Where'd you guys do this?
00:16:03.000 At the Wilshire Theaters for Children with AIDS. It was his last weekend.
00:16:06.000 We all went up and did it.
00:16:08.000 I did a half hour, but the rest of the guys did like 20 minutes.
00:16:11.000 We just had so much fun.
00:16:12.000 It was so fun.
00:16:14.000 Everybody was hilarious. 0.99
00:16:16.000 Brad Garrett fucking killed me. 0.99
00:16:18.000 I opened up for him in Long Island. 0.99
00:16:20.000 Dude, he's so funny.
00:16:21.000 Eastside Comedy Club in 1991. He was killing Doris Roberts and she was in the audience.
00:16:26.000 She was like, how old are you?
00:16:27.000 She was 91 when she did this show.
00:16:29.000 How are you drinking?
00:16:30.000 Are you drunk, sweetie?
00:16:31.000 He was killing everybody. 0.99
00:16:33.000 This black woman was in the thing and she was really old. 1.00
00:16:35.000 He goes, look at her from the Civil War.
00:16:37.000 It must be so different now for you, isn't it? 0.99
00:16:39.000 I mean, killing them. 0.97
00:16:40.000 He was amazing. 1.00
00:16:42.000 He's just so irreverent, but he was fucking killing the room.
00:16:44.000 And then we were all backstage, and I'm with Gary Shanling, and all these guys are in some ways big. 0.97
00:16:50.000 They've done a lot of stuff in comedy for 20, 30 years.
00:16:52.000 And they were all talking about how they just all have so much reverence for comedy, and it's still not easy no matter what, and it's still a challenge, and you're still... 0.99
00:17:02.000 You better respect that bitch. 1.00
00:17:03.000 You better respect that. 1.00
00:17:04.000 You better respect that bitch because if you don't, you'll be up on stage realizing you didn't respect it and eating it. 1.00
00:17:09.000 And there's a bunch of people paid to see you. 1.00
00:17:11.000 It's so true. 0.84
00:17:12.000 That motivates the fuck out of me.
00:17:13.000 It never gets old.
00:17:14.000 You're going to be on stage for an hour, my friend.
00:17:15.000 Bring the money.
00:17:16.000 You said that one time.
00:17:17.000 I did...
00:17:18.000 I remember a long time ago. 0.99
00:17:19.000 This was fucking 13 years ago. 0.96
00:17:21.000 I did Friday nights or something that you were emceeing. 0.97
00:17:23.000 And I got up and I did this weird story.
00:17:25.000 And you were like really complimentary. 0.99
00:17:27.000 You said, you know, you do the most unusual shit. 0.99
00:17:29.000 He goes... 1.00
00:17:29.000 But you can never do that shit on the road in some cities. 1.00
00:17:33.000 They'd be like, you've got to bring the money. 0.99
00:17:36.000 If you're going to do an hour, you've got to bring the money.
00:17:38.000 Guess what? 0.95
00:17:38.000 You've got to be fucking funny for an hour because people lose their attention span. 0.95
00:17:41.000 That room gets quiet quick, even if you're famous. 0.99
00:17:45.000 Michael Richards, I don't care who you are.
00:17:46.000 More so, because people get angry.
00:17:48.000 They're on your side for five minutes.
00:17:49.000 You've got five, maybe seven, maybe if you're Brad Pitt. 0.99
00:17:52.000 And then, and it just fucking tumbleweeds. 0.97
00:17:55.000 It turns the other way. 1.00
00:17:56.000 You hear a dog bark in the distance and they fucking hate you. 1.00
00:17:59.000 Yeah, it turns the other way. 0.99
00:18:00.000 Charlie Sheen, do it offstage.
00:18:01.000 What a surprise.
00:18:03.000 Monetizing his madness, as one of my friends says.
00:18:06.000 That is a good way of putting it.
00:18:07.000 Jeremy Piven said that.
00:18:08.000 He goes, monetizing...
00:18:09.000 Jeremy Piven's a smart guy.
00:18:10.000 Yep.
00:18:10.000 That is what it is, sort of.
00:18:12.000 I mean, it's also, you know, he's trying to figure out some way to get the public on his side because he's got some giant lawsuit coming up. 1.00
00:18:19.000 He's fucking crazy. 1.00
00:18:20.000 You think? 1.00
00:18:20.000 I mean, winning. 1.00
00:18:22.000 Winning.
00:18:23.000 Winning.
00:18:24.000 It's called winning.
00:18:25.000 He's...
00:18:27.000 With the goddesses.
00:18:28.000 That's a guy. 1.00
00:18:29.000 Poor fuck. 1.00
00:18:30.000 That's a guy. 1.00
00:18:31.000 Cocaine.
00:18:32.000 And who just hasn't been living in the real world.
00:18:34.000 Cocaine confidence.
00:18:34.000 That's 25 years of fame, by the way, in Hollywood.
00:18:37.000 You're an alien.
00:18:37.000 Seven gram rocks.
00:18:40.000 Winning.
00:18:41.000 And Warner Brothers still has his big poster on their studios.
00:18:44.000 Yeah, Brian thinks it's all a scam to make Two and a Half Men the biggest show ever next season when he comes back in his triumphant return.
00:18:52.000 He thinks it's all orchestrated.
00:18:54.000 The Warner Brothers still has a huge banner of their show. 0.99
00:18:58.000 Choking porn stars. 1.00
00:19:00.000 Almost threatening to stab his wife. 1.00
00:19:02.000 Winning. 0.52
00:19:03.000 Has he got a lawsuit coming or something?
00:19:05.000 Yeah, he does.
00:19:06.000 Apparently, according to Hollywood Insiders.
00:19:09.000 Oh, you mean from CBS? Yes.
00:19:11.000 Apparently, according to Hollywood Insiders, he actually has a very good point.
00:19:14.000 Because the guy didn't show up for work late.
00:19:16.000 It wasn't like he was missing shoots and costing them money. 1.00
00:19:20.000 He was always fucked up. 1.00
00:19:21.000 They knew he was fucked up from a long time ago. 1.00
00:19:23.000 They hired him under the premise that he was his party animal. 1.00
00:19:26.000 And guess what? 0.99
00:19:26.000 That's what he fucking plays on the show. 0.99
00:19:28.000 He plays a watered-down version of the real-life Charlie Sheen. 0.99
00:19:30.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99
00:19:31.000 This sounds like a big dick contest. 0.98
00:19:33.000 That's what it sounds like. 1.00
00:19:33.000 It sounds like him and that guy who's the executive producer, they're waving the dicks around. 1.00
00:19:37.000 Chuck Lorre? 0.99
00:19:38.000 Yeah, the executive producer doesn't want this junkie back on his set, and he wants to move on, but he's going to ruin a lot of fucking people's jobs. 0.92
00:19:44.000 Actually, what they say was that he could strangle a girl and everything else, and then he made fun of Chuck Lorre on that radio show, and that's when he got fired. 0.93
00:19:52.000 Well, that Chuck Lorre guy, we talked about on the show before, about all the shows that he's produced.
00:19:56.000 He produced Grace Under Fire.
00:19:58.000 He produced Roseanne.
00:19:59.000 He produced Sybil. 1.00
00:20:00.000 He had to deal with cunt after cunt after cunt, and he developed the ability to put his fucking foot down. 1.00
00:20:05.000 Yeah, he did. 1.00
00:20:06.000 And that's why he's so successful. 0.98
00:20:08.000 He's fucking good at what he does. 0.98
00:20:09.000 That guy's got a gang of TV shows. 0.98
00:20:11.000 And listen, man, the bottom line is Charlie Sheen was probably very creatively unfulfilled.
00:20:15.000 And it's not to say that Two and a Half Men wasn't a good show, because quite honestly, I never watched it.
00:20:19.000 I've never seen a single episode.
00:20:21.000 It's not bad.
00:20:21.000 I watched maybe one scene once.
00:20:24.000 I'm happy for John Grier as the nicest fucking human being on the planet. 0.98
00:20:27.000 I met him a long time ago. 0.99
00:20:28.000 We did a college together.
00:20:31.000 Oh, did he do stand-up?
00:20:32.000 I didn't know that.
00:20:32.000 I think he did.
00:20:32.000 I'm pretty sure it was him.
00:20:34.000 He's such a nice person.
00:20:35.000 He was in a movie before then.
00:20:37.000 I couldn't believe that I saw it.
00:20:38.000 It was one of the first guys I ever saw that had been in a movie.
00:20:40.000 I did a stand-up at this college, and then he did something else that was bigger in the same college.
00:20:44.000 Pretty in Pink, right?
00:20:45.000 Yeah, it was something, yeah, somewhere on those, I'm pretty sure it was John Cryer a long, long, long time ago. 0.89
00:20:50.000 But the point is that, you know, he probably, I mean, the guy was in fucking Platoon and Wall Street.
00:20:56.000 He was in two huge Oliver Stone smash movies. 0.77
00:20:59.000 I mean, and they were brilliant performances. 0.79
00:21:01.000 So when he's playing this silly guy in this silly show year after year, making mad, mad loot, the money piles up.
00:21:08.000 But then the ability to break away from the mundane becomes more and more extreme. 1.00
00:21:12.000 Just like the Catholic girl that wants to suck a dick, man. 1.00
00:21:15.000 That's exactly right. 1.00
00:21:15.000 If you're not being challenged as a grown man, you're going to give yourself a fucking problem. 1.00
00:21:20.000 You're going to find a way to challenge yourself. 0.99
00:21:21.000 You're going to create a problem for yourself. 1.00
00:21:23.000 That shit happens all the time. 1.00
00:21:25.000 Somebody gets exactly what they want and they're a little too young to handle it or they get exactly what they want and they don't have the imagination to figure out where else they can grow, they get into fucking trouble. 1.00
00:21:35.000 Too much money, no imagination, and you didn't earn it? 1.00
00:21:37.000 You're fucking... 1.00
00:21:38.000 Even if you did earn it... 1.00
00:21:39.000 What I do respect that Charlie Sheen's trying to do is apparently he's trying to evolve his show.
00:21:44.000 So he's bringing in comics and Russell Peters is going to come on.
00:21:46.000 He's going to tell us about it because Russell's been opening for him.
00:21:49.000 He's great.
00:21:50.000 Someone please on Twitter verify Russell Peters.
00:21:53.000 The real Russell P. That's him.
00:21:55.000 He's great.
00:21:55.000 He can't get verified.
00:21:57.000 Wait, he's having guests on the show or comics opening for him?
00:22:01.000 Comics, what they do is the comics will interview him.
00:22:04.000 There's a video of him interviewing Russell Peters where, Russell Peters rather, interviewing Charlie Sheen where Charlie Sheen talks about accidentally leaving his gun out and Kelly Preston was living with him and she dropped the gun and shot her.
00:22:16.000 It shot the toilet and it ricocheted and hit her. 1.00
00:22:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:19.000 She got hurt.
00:22:20.000 How does that happen?
00:22:21.000 That's, you know, dropping a gun. 1.00
00:22:23.000 Crazy junkie shit. 1.00
00:22:23.000 Dropping a gun though, I don't think that usually goes off. 1.00
00:22:26.000 Yeah, it very well could have been a lot.
00:22:28.000 Charlie just has good writers for this show.
00:22:30.000 They've probably learned from the mistakes of the past that they actually have to make this thing interesting.
00:22:34.000 Yeah, well that's what they're doing now.
00:22:36.000 But I mean, this story is a true story.
00:22:37.000 But apparently, who knows how much of it is true.
00:22:39.000 But Russell Peters was interviewing him.
00:22:41.000 And then Russell says a bunch of really funny lines in between it and just fucks around with it.
00:22:45.000 And so now it's sort of become sort of a show.
00:22:49.000 But I think they need to incorporate other things. 0.98
00:22:51.000 They need to incorporate music and some other shit. 0.93
00:22:53.000 I think it should just... 0.92
00:22:55.000 And I haven't thought about Charlie Sheen in like three weeks.
00:22:58.000 Yeah, but that's you.
00:23:00.000 That's you.
00:23:01.000 Everybody's...
00:23:02.000 He's got something there.
00:23:04.000 There's some sort of an interest.
00:23:05.000 As he moves to the country, he starts dragging together a show.
00:23:08.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
00:23:09.000 I mean, it's kind of fascinating.
00:23:11.000 Who knows?
00:23:11.000 I mean, look, the guy that...
00:23:13.000 Whoever the fuck the guy is inside of him that was the guy that was in Wall Street or was the guy that was in Platoon, that guy's a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:23:19.000 And if you could find who that guy is, you know, people lose their way and regain it. 1.00
00:23:23.000 It happens.
00:23:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:23:24.000 And it might be through this humility that he gets out of getting fired from his fucking job and bested in this big dick contest. 1.00
00:23:30.000 I don't think he has that much money either. 0.99
00:23:32.000 What? 0.88
00:23:32.000 Dude, he's got like a hundred million bucks or something silly. 0.88
00:23:35.000 I don't know.
00:23:36.000 A lot of it might be in real estate.
00:23:38.000 A lot of times...
00:23:39.000 Dude, he was making more money than any human being had ever made on a sitcom. 1.00
00:23:43.000 He was making two million dollars a fucking episode. 0.99
00:23:45.000 Yeah, he's definitely got money. 0.99
00:23:46.000 He's got some cash. 0.88
00:23:47.000 If he doesn't, he's crazy. 1.00
00:23:48.000 He almost bought a hooker hotel. 0.99
00:23:49.000 There was an article about him not having that much money.
00:23:52.000 Really?
00:23:52.000 Yeah, but that's some haterade.
00:23:54.000 No.
00:23:54.000 Haterade?
00:23:55.000 It was on the news.
00:23:56.000 I've never heard that before.
00:23:57.000 That's awesome.
00:23:57.000 What?
00:23:58.000 You, the internet guru, has never heard of haterade?
00:24:00.000 Put Charlie Sheen.
00:24:02.000 Put Charlie Sheen.
00:24:02.000 Haterade is old, dude.
00:24:03.000 I bet you if you look up Charlie Sheen bankruptcy or Charlie Sheen spent money, you'll see...
00:24:09.000 I bet you're hoping right now, wishing Charlie was going broke.
00:24:12.000 Meanwhile, Charlie's winning while you're here doing your podcast.
00:24:16.000 Great.
00:24:16.000 Good stuff.
00:24:17.000 Good stuff.
00:24:18.000 It's really traveling well.
00:24:20.000 It's doing well for you.
00:24:22.000 It's a big-time production here.
00:24:24.000 Was that real foam over that microphone?
00:24:27.000 It's Joe Rogan.
00:24:29.000 He's very good at what he does.
00:24:32.000 Good luck, Charlie.
00:24:33.000 Smoke weed and stay away from that cocaine.
00:24:35.000 Those highs, those are not the good highs, bro.
00:24:39.000 Yeah, weed is fine.
00:24:39.000 Blow always...
00:24:40.000 Nobody ever did blow and went, yeah, I had all these problems, I did a bunch of blow, and then it fucking worked out. 0.94
00:24:45.000 Yeah.
00:24:45.000 In the history of the world, that's never been said.
00:24:47.000 Yeah, that's not good.
00:24:48.000 That stuff's bad for you. 1.00
00:24:49.000 That stuff fries your fucking noggin. 1.00
00:24:51.000 Did you know that Jimi Hendrix died when he was 27? 1.00
00:24:53.000 Yep.
00:24:54.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:24:54.000 So did Janis Joplin.
00:24:55.000 Whenever I want...
00:24:56.000 So did Kurt Cobain.
00:24:57.000 So did Jim Morrison.
00:24:58.000 Jim Morrison.
00:24:58.000 Whenever I have any sense of delusions of grandeur, just look at what Jimi Hendrix accomplished, and he was only 27. 27?
00:25:05.000 With no internet.
00:25:06.000 How about what Zeppelin did, but it's under 24. I mean, like, you hear them, like, Cashmere and Led Zeppelin 1. They were like 23, 24, 25. That's ridiculous.
00:25:15.000 Ridiculous. 1.00
00:25:15.000 Like, think about that. 1.00
00:25:16.000 They were right in fucking... 0.99
00:25:18.000 They were all, like, educated. 1.00
00:25:19.000 They all read a shitload. 0.99
00:25:21.000 Jimmy Page has a whole fucking library, like a huge library on black magic and stuff. 1.00
00:25:26.000 Wow. 1.00
00:25:27.000 Jimmy Page is a scholar.
00:25:29.000 He reads, you know, those guys have read a lot.
00:25:32.000 I had this conversation.
00:25:32.000 It was a different standard back then.
00:25:34.000 I had this conversation the other day with the lovely Brittany Palmer.
00:25:36.000 She's one of the ring girls of the UFC. I know Brittany.
00:25:38.000 She's a very nice girl.
00:25:39.000 She's dating my buddy.
00:25:40.000 Donald Cerrone, yeah.
00:25:41.000 No, she's dating my buddy Anthony now.
00:25:44.000 Powerful.
00:25:45.000 Your friend Anthony's getting some of that?
00:25:46.000 Yes, my buddy's a writer.
00:25:48.000 I just saw a brand new show.
00:25:50.000 Anyway, she's a very nice person.
00:25:51.000 And she is fascinated by the 70s and the 60s.
00:25:54.000 And she's a painter.
00:25:55.000 And she's making all these different paintings.
00:25:57.000 And we were having this conversation.
00:26:00.000 I'm the same way.
00:26:01.000 When I listen to music, nine times out of ten when I'm driving in my car, I'm listening to my iPod.
00:26:05.000 And it's usually some 1970s Zeppelin or some 1970s Allman Brothers or Leonard Skinner. 0.99
00:26:12.000 That shit to me just resonates. 0.99
00:26:14.000 When I listen to old music from that era, for whatever reason, it just resonates. 1.00
00:26:18.000 And I'm trying to figure out, what is it about that time?
00:26:21.000 What is it about the Jimi Hendrix?
00:26:22.000 What is it about Jim Morrison? 0.99
00:26:24.000 Was it just because it was the first of that shit? 0.99
00:26:27.000 Was it because it was the first of this giant evolutionary breakthrough? 0.99
00:26:30.000 I think it's a combination of a number of things.
00:26:33.000 One is that a lot of people back then thought their music was counted for something.
00:26:37.000 In other words, they thought that their music could actually change something.
00:26:41.000 And a lot of what happens with artists' cynicism at times have a certain cynical stamp on them.
00:26:48.000 And I think we live in a very cynical time.
00:26:49.000 The notion that nothing you do as an individual, certainly as an artist, could change anything at all.
00:26:54.000 That's very prevalent among artists.
00:26:55.000 So you don't have people who are doing stand-up, for example, to try to break a social norm or shatter a social norm.
00:27:01.000 You certainly don't have a lot of musicians saying, my music is actually going to influence the political atmosphere.
00:27:06.000 Remember, we had been through in the 70s, we had just been through and were going through a terrible war in Vietnam.
00:27:12.000 And how many people died?
00:27:14.000 54,000 men were killed.
00:27:16.000 That's a huge number.
00:27:17.000 Where if you compare the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, it was 4,000 deaths and a lot of injuries.
00:27:23.000 But I'm just saying that in a very short period of time, we'd also been through a number of wars.
00:27:29.000 We were in the Cold War, we'd been through World War II and everybody had an active memory of that. 0.98
00:27:33.000 That shit, life really counted and mattered and people didn't live as long. 0.99
00:27:38.000 There was this idea that you better hurry up and get through it and make your fucking stamp while you still have an opportunity. 1.00
00:27:44.000 Because if you looked around, let's take 1974, and you looked around at the world, half the world was starving to death. 0.98
00:27:52.000 And half the world was living under communist dictatorships, which was essentially slavery.
00:27:57.000 And half the world was a very dangerous place in that war.
00:28:01.000 And by the way, there was an arms race called the nuclear arms race between the Soviet Union and the United States.
00:28:07.000 And a lot of people really were like, you know what? 0.91
00:28:09.000 We could all fucking just blow up. 0.98
00:28:11.000 The next war is going to be where the cockroaches and the rats are the only things living. 0.98
00:28:15.000 And there was always that saying that if there is a third world war, I think it was Einstein who said, the...
00:28:22.000 The fourth world war will be fought with sticks.
00:28:24.000 The living will envy the dead, right?
00:28:28.000 He said, I don't know what's going to start the third world war, what weapons will be used, but the fourth world war will be fought with sticks.
00:28:35.000 That's such a great quote.
00:28:36.000 But the point is that I think when you live in times of great uncertainty, And times of great hope and times of great violence.
00:28:43.000 Remember, in this country, we'd come off a number of assassinations, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, John Kennedy, Joe Kennedy, and it goes on and on.
00:28:52.000 I mean, there was this notion that we were in a real battle and a real social battle for our souls, man.
00:28:59.000 You had government sending young boys off to die in a war. 0.98
00:29:02.000 Most people hadn't even heard of that fucking part of the world. 0.99
00:29:05.000 And there was this idea that we gotta get in the streets and say something and do something. 0.99
00:29:10.000 More importantly, if we do so, shit will change. 0.99
00:29:13.000 And people were getting hosed down and black people didn't have the vote until 1964. It was only 10 years old. 0.99
00:29:19.000 So when you think about how extreme Things were not only that, but how uncertain and how it was the beginning of so many different ideas that were competing.
00:29:30.000 When you get a society in turmoil, usually, and what's very positive about it is you want a cross-current of ideas. 0.99
00:29:38.000 You want ideas bashing heads like fucking rams. 0.97
00:29:42.000 And when you have that, provided you keep the violence out of it, but there's always going to be a little violence, but when you have that and people where they're fighting for their souls with an idea, You're going to get something pretty fucking cool. 0.99
00:29:54.000 And you're going to get certainly very volatile artistic expression.
00:29:57.000 And a lot of that expression can very well be Miles Davis who was saying, I'm a black man in America and I still don't feel free or whatever it might be.
00:30:06.000 Or you could have...
00:30:08.000 Bieber?
00:30:09.000 Well, Bieber is candy compared to, think about it, how much music counted back then. 1.00
00:30:14.000 Jazz was the only place that a lot of black people could really express themselves honestly, through a fucking horn. 1.00
00:30:21.000 So if your heart's broken, you either sing it or you shoot it through a horn because if you say otherwise, you're going to get fucking hung or shot or arrested. 0.99
00:30:29.000 That's what it was to be black in the 1940s, 50s, 60s, and even the 70s for a lot of them. 0.99
00:30:34.000 That's the bottom line.
00:30:35.000 It goes on and on.
00:30:36.000 So things were way more extreme.
00:30:37.000 And I think in today's world where everything's at the touch of a button, where everybody has plenty to eat, even if it's not healthy food, and we feel safer.
00:30:46.000 And I think we're cynical.
00:30:48.000 I don't believe that what we do and what we say can really change the world.
00:30:51.000 And back then you did.
00:30:52.000 Do you think it's the numbers?
00:30:54.000 Just too many humans now?
00:30:55.000 No, I don't. 0.99
00:30:56.000 I mean, there's still people like Raiders Against the Machine that kind of believe in the same kind of shit, you know? 0.97
00:30:59.000 I think we're going to face another... 0.98
00:31:01.000 We're going to face...
00:31:02.000 We're always going to face challenges as people and as a world.
00:31:05.000 And those challenges may very well bring into question our own survival.
00:31:09.000 I don't think so for a long time.
00:31:11.000 I don't know.
00:31:11.000 You know what's really changing the world?
00:31:13.000 This thing we're on right now, the internet.
00:31:15.000 This is the big change.
00:31:17.000 Very much.
00:31:17.000 The way we are right now, our parents were never like this.
00:31:20.000 That's right.
00:31:21.000 These conversations were never held.
00:31:22.000 And it gives more potential, Joe, for the notion that all of us could get together and springboard into an idea.
00:31:30.000 A major shift in consciousness.
00:31:32.000 With something like this.
00:31:33.000 Like right now, live, there's 2,000 people listening to us live.
00:31:37.000 And this is a tiny fraction of the amount of people that will listen to us over the next few months.
00:31:42.000 It's going to be hundreds of thousands of people.
00:31:44.000 And these people, when they start looking at...
00:31:47.000 The world, the way you're talking about it, the way, you know, stepping back and describing and saying, what is it?
00:31:51.000 What is it to live with passion?
00:31:53.000 What is important in this life?
00:31:55.000 What is the fun?
00:31:56.000 Where's the enjoyment?
00:31:58.000 Where's the real, true passion in this world?
00:32:01.000 Like, what is it for you?
00:32:02.000 What is it for you? 0.98
00:32:03.000 And if you don't fucking find that, your life's not going to be fun. 0.99
00:32:06.000 That's right. 0.97
00:32:06.000 And if don't get saddled down by debt, don't get caught up in a lot of important things. 0.97
00:32:10.000 But also, on piggybacking on that great point, is you've got to find a way to keep yourself inspired.
00:32:17.000 Yeah.
00:32:18.000 Find ways.
00:32:19.000 I don't care what it is.
00:32:20.000 Just look around, man.
00:32:21.000 Well, truly be doing what you enjoy doing.
00:32:22.000 You do have to constantly stoke those fires.
00:32:26.000 And one of the things about stand-up is the fear of bombing also gives you another added incentive and motivation that I think some artists are without.
00:32:33.000 That's right.
00:32:33.000 You know, when they just produce books or just produce, you know, they just wait for reviews.
00:32:37.000 But the fear of actually physically being in front of someone when they don't like you, that's so much more intense than a shitty review.
00:32:43.000 It sure is because you feel it right away, man.
00:32:45.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:32:45.000 And it's not, it was just, I mean, look, just life is temporary and we all need to wrap our fucking heads around that. 0.98
00:32:51.000 If we all just step back, this whole world is moving on momentum. 0.96
00:32:55.000 And that is our number one problem as a race.
00:32:57.000 We're moving in the way that our ancestors have been moving.
00:33:01.000 No one ever just stops and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just settle down and talk this over.
00:33:05.000 Let's have a 30-day summit where the leaders of the world get together and try to figure out how are we going to redesign the human race to make us all function together? 0.99
00:33:15.000 How is there going to be a reasonable distribution of the natural resources of the earth so that One country doesn't grow rich because they have the fucking missiles and the nuclear bombs. 0.97
00:33:26.000 And somehow or another it's distributed amongst everyone so we get some sense of fairness and all work together to make sure that people don't have too many fucking babies so we don't run out of food on this crazy rock. 0.96
00:33:36.000 Let's organize this thing and let's do it together. 0.96
00:33:39.000 The only way that's going to happen is the kids that are in college right now who are listening to shit like this, who are going online and researching the world and looking at things in a way that we never had the ability to and the access to information that we never had access to. 0.55
00:33:53.000 And they're getting a chance to see the world from a fresh eye and fresh perspective and realize that this is some weird thing where we're all running in the same direction hoping that someone knows where we're going. 0.86
00:34:05.000 They're the future. 0.99
00:34:07.000 You, you college motherfucker with the bong right now. 1.00
00:34:10.000 This is for you. 1.00
00:34:10.000 Change the world. 1.00
00:34:10.000 And the responsibility for those kids is figuring out a way to sift through all the information. 1.00
00:34:15.000 There will be some in the system right now that will be sensitive to it and the next wave will integrate.
00:34:20.000 And the next wave of people that are trying to be politicians will be like Gary Johnson, will be like Ron Paul.
00:34:24.000 They'll realize there's freedom and love in telling the truth and really trying to do the right thing instead of being some bitch to a corporation, which is what most politicians are. 0.99
00:34:34.000 Most politicians are little hookers. 1.00
00:34:36.000 They stick their ass up in the air, and some corporation comes by and drops some money in their pussy. 1.00
00:34:40.000 And that's what they are. 1.00
00:34:41.000 And that's what we have to realize.
00:34:43.000 You don't have to be like that. 1.00
00:34:45.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:34:45.000 Who cares? 1.00
00:34:46.000 The Fear Factor guy and the guy from The Hangover 2...
00:34:49.000 Ladies and gentlemen.
00:34:49.000 I'm telling you how to run this world.
00:34:51.000 Take notes.
00:34:53.000 I blame the weed for the last five minutes of this rant.
00:34:56.000 This has been a good podcast.
00:34:57.000 But it's true, man.
00:34:59.000 Not to say that this is why we're doing it, but I hear it all the time that this podcast changes the way people think.
00:35:04.000 And I think having a guy like you in my life has definitely changed the way I think.
00:35:09.000 And I think all of us together, we help each other.
00:35:13.000 And I'm very happy and very proud that we can put out this resource, not just for entertainment, this podcast, but also, you know, it gives you an opportunity to hear another point of view that you might not come in contact with in your life.
00:35:26.000 I don't know too many people like you.
00:35:28.000 And it's hard to cultivate them.
00:35:30.000 I've done a real good job of trying to keep as many interesting people in my life as possible because I think it's enriching.
00:35:36.000 You love conversations with you. 0.99
00:35:37.000 We have the craziest fucking conversations. 0.99
00:35:39.000 But we have had more on a regular basis since I put together this podcast than we have in the last few years. 1.00
00:35:44.000 I know.
00:35:44.000 That's why I like doing it.
00:35:45.000 I'm like, I want to do your podcast so we can hang out and talk.
00:35:48.000 Yeah, we're very lucky.
00:35:50.000 You get busy in life.
00:35:50.000 You do get busy.
00:35:52.000 These are great conversations that we have. 0.98
00:35:55.000 They're fucking awesome. 0.93
00:35:56.000 That you never really do when you're just hanging around. 0.98
00:35:58.000 Because a lot of it's grab assed.
00:35:59.000 You're just getting distracted by a bunch of other people.
00:36:01.000 It's focused.
00:36:02.000 When you're forced to sit down and focus and talk about what's important to you, you figure things out as you're talking.
00:36:07.000 Well, could you imagine all the people that are...
00:36:08.000 If you imagine if you're standing in front of 400,000 people, you would never feel so free to talk and be boring.
00:36:15.000 That's right.
00:36:16.000 You'd be terrified!
00:36:17.000 I'd be releasing dogs.
00:36:21.000 I'd do whatever I could, man. 1.00
00:36:22.000 Fucking 4,000 people. 0.99
00:36:24.000 We did 50 with Jimmy Norton. 0.99
00:36:26.000 We did a crowd of 50, and it was definitely a different experience.
00:36:29.000 We're going to do more of those.
00:36:30.000 We're going to do more of those.
00:36:31.000 We got three this week.
00:36:33.000 We got Rent is Easy tomorrow, and then we got Doug Benson on Wednesday. 0.99
00:36:36.000 All right, bitches. 1.00
00:36:37.000 Thank you to the Fleshlight. 0.99
00:36:38.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link and enter in the code name ROGAN, you'll get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:36:46.000 You want one?
00:36:46.000 Did I ever give you one?
00:36:47.000 No.
00:36:48.000 I got some.
00:36:48.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, you gave me one.
00:36:49.000 I gave you one?
00:36:50.000 Did you use it? 1.00
00:36:51.000 Did you fuck holes in it already? 1.00
00:36:52.000 I don't know what you're talking about, Joe. 1.00
00:36:53.000 Listen, subscribe to Death Squad on iTunes.
00:36:56.000 It's Brian Reichel, aka Red Band.
00:37:00.000 He's got a whole network of funny comedians that we're all friends with, and they have a bunch of different shows.
00:37:05.000 Your Mom's House with Tom Segura is particularly excellent, as is The Skeptic Tank with Ari Shafir. 0.90
00:37:11.000 That's a fucking awesome one. 0.93
00:37:12.000 And then The Naughty Show with Sam Tripoli. 0.98
00:37:14.000 We have Lexi Bell tonight on The Naughty Show. 1.00
00:37:16.000 Yeah, they're really fun.
00:37:18.000 And if you're looking for some free entertainment, it's available on iTunes and on DeathSquad.tv.
00:37:22.000 San Francisco, this weekend, almost sold out. 0.98
00:37:25.000 Get on it, bitches. 1.00
00:37:26.000 Don't sleep. 1.00
00:37:28.000 I got a lot of new shit. 0.99
00:37:29.000 I haven't been in... 0.99
00:37:30.000 Come to Edmonton Comic Strip this week.
00:37:32.000 Yeah, come to...
00:37:32.000 Where is it?
00:37:33.000 Edmonton.
00:37:33.000 Edmonton Comic Strip.
00:37:34.000 In Alberta, Canada.
00:37:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:37:35.000 Which is the shit. 1.00
00:37:36.000 Come on by. 0.99
00:37:37.000 So, me, Sam Tripoli, and Tom Segura at Cobb's.
00:37:40.000 I believe it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
00:37:42.000 I think Saturday's already sold out.
00:37:44.000 And most of Friday and Thursday are sold out, too.
00:37:46.000 Sal's Wednesday.
00:37:47.000 Sal's Wednesday.
00:37:47.000 This Wednesday, Sal's Comedy Hole in LA. 8 o'clock.
00:37:50.000 Yeah, if you go to Sal'sComedyHole.com, it's a very fucking sketchy place. 0.89
00:37:54.000 They don't have real, like... 0.94
00:37:55.000 That's great.
00:37:56.000 It's really different.
00:37:56.000 You can't, like, buy tickets online.
00:37:58.000 You can RSVP, though, and there's only 80 seats.
00:38:01.000 Yeah, there's only 80 seats.
00:38:02.000 It fills up and it's fun.
00:38:04.000 It's like an old school New York kind of spot where they did alternative comedy. 0.99
00:38:09.000 It's a good place to fuck around. 0.99
00:38:11.000 I sometimes will go on stage with just an idea there and just rant. 0.99
00:38:14.000 It's only like 80 or 90 people.
00:38:16.000 I got a whole thing I want to do on the Prince there.
00:38:17.000 Shazam, me too.
00:38:18.000 I'm going to do it first. 0.99
00:38:19.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:38:20.000 I'm going to break my Prince's nose as soon as we get out of here. 0.99
00:38:22.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.
00:38:23.000 We'll see you tomorrow.