The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1063 - Tom Segura

00:00:04.000 We're good?

00:00:05.000 All right, we're live.

00:00:06.000 Sort of.

00:00:06.000 Sort of live.

00:00:08.000 We're rolling.

00:00:09.000 We're rolling.

00:00:10.000 We're rolling, dog.

00:00:12.000 So we were talking about the game.

00:00:14.000 We stopped because we figured this is probably good for the podcast.

00:00:19.000 So Ari finally paid off the bet.

00:00:21.000 Ari paid it off in a big way, man.

00:00:22.000 Big way.

00:00:23.000 In a big way.

00:00:25.000 So if you remember, when we were doing the weight loss challenge, It was like whoever wins decides the sporting event.

00:00:33.000 We're all sports fans basically, you know?

00:00:36.000 And I said at the time, I was like, let's go see Barcelona.

00:00:39.000 I think I wanted to see Barcelona play Paris in, you know, some tournament cup, some tournament that they were playing in.

00:00:48.000 And I was like, you know, two of the premier teams, and it would be fun to go to Europe and make Ari pay for it, you know? 0.97

00:00:53.000 So I told him that, and he was like, I'm going to, like, fucking Malaysia. 0.98

00:00:57.000 And he just left. 0.99

00:00:58.000 So never heard from him again.

00:01:01.000 And four months later, you know how it all played out. 0.97

00:01:04.000 So when he got back, he was getting fucking... 0.88

00:01:06.000 Lamb by people because he was supposed to pay up this bet, you know? 0.98

00:01:11.000 Right.

00:01:11.000 And people were destroying him.

00:01:13.000 You know that. 1.00

00:01:13.000 I mean, online, they were just like, Welcher, you're a piece of shit. 1.00

00:01:16.000 Probably worse than that. 0.99

00:01:18.000 But anyways, once we got to like hanging out, once we did the Sober October thing, He was just like, right before that actually, I think he was like, which means like, what do you want to do, right?

00:01:32.000 And I go, well, how about...

00:01:34.000 I go, he's like, you know, you picked the event.

00:01:38.000 I go, I'm a big college football fan.

00:01:39.000 Let's go to the national championship game.

00:01:42.000 And I remember at the end of the 2013 season, 2014, FSU and Auburn played in the Rose Bowl out here.

00:01:51.000 And Burt's an FSU alum, I'm a big FSU fan.

00:01:54.000 I was like, let's go to the game.

00:01:55.000 And I remember that we met, it was like We got somebody who had students, because they both always in the national championship, they allow students to go to the game for pretty expensive, much less than the general public can go for.

00:02:10.000 In other words, because you want students to have the ability to go to see their school play.

00:02:14.000 So we got like student tickets for, I think they were $3.50 each.

00:02:19.000 And that's pretty expensive, you know, especially for a student.

00:02:22.000 But I remember Bert treated me.

00:02:24.000 He bought the ticket from me. 0.98

00:02:25.000 And we went to that game and he left that fucking halftime of the national championship game. 0.99

00:02:30.000 Why'd he leave? 0.99

00:02:30.000 He was like, I'm tired. 0.99

00:02:31.000 I gotta see the kids.

00:02:32.000 I've been drinking.

00:02:33.000 He just left.

00:02:34.000 It was one of the best games.

00:02:34.000 He just left you there?

00:02:35.000 Yeah, we were sitting in separate sections. 1.00

00:02:37.000 But I was like, are you fucking... 0.99

00:02:38.000 I was like texting him. 1.00

00:02:39.000 He was like, I'm home.

00:02:40.000 So you were by yourself and he was by himself.

00:02:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:02:42.000 He knew more people at the game because a lot of his friends that he went to school with We're at the game, too.

00:02:48.000 But I'm like, you're gone?

00:02:49.000 Did you just see the kickoff return?

00:02:52.000 The lead just swung, and he was like, I'm at home.

00:02:56.000 And I was like, all right.

00:02:57.000 So, all right, Psycho.

00:02:58.000 How weird.

00:02:59.000 So weird. 1.00

00:02:59.000 I gave him shit for it. 1.00

00:03:01.000 I still give him shit for it. 1.00

00:03:02.000 But it ended up being just this amazing finish. 0.99

00:03:05.000 So anyways, when I tell Ari I want to go to this, I'm kind of thinking that's the ballpark.

00:03:12.000 Because that's the only experience I have.

00:03:14.000 So the game's in Atlanta.

00:03:16.000 He buys tickets, and I'm like, I go, you're not flying me, coach, you know that.

00:03:20.000 He's like, no, you're a champ, you're going first.

00:03:22.000 Bert, Bert is coach, and I'll get him a seatbelt extension.

00:03:28.000 I'm like, alright, cool.

00:03:29.000 But Bert ended up going from somewhere else.

00:03:31.000 So anyways, he bought the ticket, he got an Airbnb, a really nice house, you know, for a few days in Atlanta.

00:03:37.000 And then...

00:03:39.000 It's, you know, the big thing is game day.

00:03:41.000 And I'm thinking like, oh, that's cool that you got these tickets and you got, you know, but I think it's like reasonable.

00:03:47.000 And then we get to the stadium. 0.98

00:03:49.000 It was a total fucking disaster to get in because Trump went to the game. 0.98

00:03:53.000 So it was raining, it was wet, Secret Service everywhere, two hour lines to get into the venue. 0.98

00:03:59.000 And I paid a guy, a security guy, a hundred bucks to walk us through the line, which was almost impossible because it was so packed.

00:04:09.000 But, I don't know, he just started walking us through the line, like, in front of people.

00:04:12.000 People were yelling at the security guy, which was, like, so uncomfortable. 0.99

00:04:17.000 He's, like, a young black kid, and, like, old white people were like, the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:04:22.000 He's like, I'm security. 1.00

00:04:23.000 And they're like, you're not security, you piece of shit. 1.00

00:04:25.000 Like, right to his, right in front of us. 1.00

00:04:27.000 And I was like, god damn. 0.98

00:04:28.000 Like, I just have never seen someone flip out like that. 0.99

00:04:31.000 What we were doing was highly unethical.

00:04:33.000 We shouldn't have done it.

00:04:34.000 But, like, we just weren't gonna wait in that line.

00:04:36.000 And then Bert, of course, Bert, in a crowd like that, he's like, it's okay.

00:04:40.000 I'm famous.

00:04:41.000 We're famous guys.

00:04:42.000 Like, yelling that to people, which is like...

00:04:44.000 No, he didn't.

00:04:45.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:04:46.000 He's like, everywhere we went, if we went to a restaurant, they would come up and be like, hey, can I get you guys something to drink?

00:04:51.000 And he'd be like, do you recognize us?

00:04:54.000 They were like, what?

00:04:55.000 Was he serious?

00:04:56.000 I mean, I think it's part of his, like, you know, whatever, style.

00:05:01.000 And they were like, I'm sorry?

00:05:02.000 So part of a joke, or kind of a joke, but not 100%?

00:05:06.000 I think he's joking, but he's like halfway in the middle.

00:05:09.000 Because one time he was like, we're famous comedians.

00:05:12.000 And the lady was like, oh, I know who you are.

00:05:14.000 And he was like, isn't it awesome being famous, guys? 0.97

00:05:17.000 And I'm like, shut up. 0.97

00:05:18.000 And he was serious? 0.99

00:05:19.000 I mean, he's like half serious.

00:05:21.000 Oh.

00:05:21.000 It's so weird.

00:05:22.000 But it's like you see him in his element.

00:05:24.000 It's like him with crowds is really, you realize he really enjoys it.

00:05:31.000 He really enjoys the large groups.

00:05:34.000 He enjoys being recognized.

00:05:37.000 Sometimes we were walking and people were like, hey, you're the guy, I've seen you on Facebook.

00:05:42.000 He's like, you want a picture?

00:05:47.000 And they're like, okay.

00:05:49.000 Jesus Christ, Bert.

00:05:51.000 Yeah, he loves it.

00:05:52.000 He loves it.

00:05:53.000 And then we were talking about how people would say, like, Tom.

00:05:56.000 And I was like, yeah.

00:05:57.000 And they're like, hey.

00:05:58.000 And then they would walk away.

00:05:59.000 They wouldn't come over to me.

00:06:01.000 They're like, hi.

00:06:02.000 And then they'd walk another way.

00:06:03.000 But with Bert, they're like, can I hug you?

00:06:05.000 They take their shirt off.

00:06:06.000 They sing together.

00:06:07.000 They love it.

00:06:08.000 And he's, like, in his glory with it.

00:06:09.000 It's perfect.

00:06:10.000 So anyways, we get through this horrific line.

00:06:14.000 Into this unbelievable $1.6 billion stadium that they built in Atlanta. 0.98

00:06:20.000 I mean, it's fucking amazing. 0.92

00:06:22.000 It's such a beautiful, just standalone stadium. 0.98

00:06:26.000 You know, it's so state-of-the-art.

00:06:28.000 It's incredible.

00:06:29.000 We get in there.

00:06:30.000 Ari got us 50-yard line, so right in the middle, like 20 rows back. 1.00

00:06:36.000 I'm like, these are fucking amazing. 0.98

00:06:38.000 Like, you couldn't ask for better seats. 0.98

00:06:40.000 It has, like, some club access for, like, free booze, free food, catered food, prime rib.

00:06:46.000 I'm like, Jesus.

00:06:47.000 I'm like, how much did you pay for these tickets?

00:06:49.000 And he's like, mm-hmm.

00:06:51.000 I go, yeah, I want to know.

00:06:54.000 $3,500 each.

00:06:56.000 Whoa. 1.00

00:06:57.000 I was like, Ari, are you fucking shit? 1.00

00:06:59.000 And he's like, how do you do it? 1.00

00:07:01.000 How do you do it?

00:07:01.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:03.000 But he fucking spent over $10,000 on tickets for us, man. 0.99

00:07:07.000 Wow. 0.99

00:07:08.000 Yeah.

00:07:09.000 Wow.

00:07:10.000 Unreal, man.

00:07:11.000 That's amazing.

00:07:12.000 I mean, those are great seats, dude.

00:07:14.000 Those are absolutely amazing seats.

00:07:16.000 You know, when the McGregor-Mayweather fight was going on, Yeah.

00:07:21.000 I was hearing that people were buying tickets for a quarter million dollars. 1.00

00:07:24.000 That's fucking retarded. 1.00

00:07:25.000 That's so dumb to pay that much money. 1.00

00:07:28.000 You say that, right? 1.00

00:07:29.000 Yeah.

00:07:29.000 But you're balling pretty hard right now.

00:07:32.000 I mean, back in the dizzy, you thought about some of the shit that you can do now. 0.99

00:07:37.000 Yeah, that's true. 0.98

00:07:38.000 I would be like, that's impossible.

00:07:39.000 So, we were talking about Jeff Bezos before the show, who's now the richest man in human history.

00:07:44.000 It's like, it's inconceivable amount of money. 0.99

00:07:46.000 He's worth $105 billion, which is just like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:07:51.000 He's like the eighth biggest landowner in the United States. 0.99

00:07:54.000 Do you know that?

00:07:54.000 He just buys...

00:07:55.000 It's crazy.

00:07:56.000 I'm not stunned, though.

00:07:57.000 Of course not.

00:07:58.000 He has 300,000 acres of Texas.

00:08:01.000 Whoa.

00:08:01.000 That's a lot.

00:08:02.000 That's a lot, yeah.

00:08:03.000 That's a big slab.

00:08:04.000 Yeah.

00:08:05.000 He's just ballin'.

00:08:06.000 He's just ballin' out of control.

00:08:07.000 I'm pretty sure his DC home was either, I feel like it was either a museum or a hotel before. 1.00

00:08:12.000 He was like, make that shit in my house now. 0.99

00:08:15.000 A museum. 1.00

00:08:16.000 They're like, it's your house.

00:08:17.000 I wonder what he's like to hang out with.

00:08:19.000 Because there's a photo of him.

00:08:20.000 See if you can find this photo, Jamie.

00:08:22.000 There's a photo of Jeff Bezos from 1993. And he's got like a vinyl banner above his desk that says Amazon.com.

00:08:32.000 And it's just him in this janky little fucking Ikea desk. 0.99

00:08:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:08:37.000 Like bad clothes.

00:08:38.000 Yeah.

00:08:38.000 Kind of chubby.

00:08:39.000 Typing away.

00:08:40.000 And now he's like, got some muscle on him.

00:08:43.000 Now he's jacked and...

00:08:45.000 Tan and probably got a supermodel for a girlfriend, does he?

00:08:48.000 No, he's got a wife, four kids.

00:08:50.000 Regular?

00:08:50.000 Yeah.

00:08:50.000 Normal?

00:08:51.000 Yeah.

00:08:51.000 Really?

00:08:52.000 She's an author.

00:08:53.000 Yeah.

00:08:53.000 How odd.

00:08:54.000 I know.

00:08:54.000 Odd.

00:08:55.000 He doesn't schedule morning meetings so he can hang out with the kids.

00:08:58.000 Really?

00:08:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:59.000 Wow.

00:09:00.000 I read all this stuff.

00:09:01.000 I wonder why he's going so hard.

00:09:05.000 Hmm.

00:09:05.000 I don't know.

00:09:06.000 When you hit 105 billion, Yeah.

00:09:10.000 You would think you'd go, eh, we're good.

00:09:12.000 I know.

00:09:13.000 I think you just start really collecting, because when he bought the Washington Post, you know it's not like he's like, I love journalism.

00:09:21.000 He'd be like, be cool to own a newspaper.

00:09:23.000 You know what I mean?

00:09:24.000 At that level, you're just like, I like waterfalls.

00:09:28.000 Are there any for sale or something?

00:09:29.000 Well, he's got...

00:09:30.000 Washington Post is one of the weird ones where you get a link.

00:09:33.000 Someone will send you a link.

00:09:35.000 And you click on it.

00:09:36.000 And it's a Washington Post article.

00:09:37.000 And it says, you obviously love great journalism.

00:09:40.000 Come sign up. 1.00

00:09:41.000 Like, fuck off. 1.00

00:09:41.000 They don't even give you the free reads, I feel like. 1.00

00:09:43.000 New York Times will give you 10 free reads.

00:09:45.000 I signed up after I kept clicking those.

00:09:47.000 I was like, I better sign up.

00:09:48.000 Washington Post, I feel like, click number one.

00:09:51.000 They're like, do you want to read this?

00:09:52.000 Do you want to pay or not?

00:09:53.000 Yeah.

00:09:54.000 I'm not paying.

00:09:55.000 I'm not paying.

00:09:56.000 Yeah, I mean, I support paying for journalism, but I feel like they should give us a taste, you know?

00:10:01.000 We should get a little taste.

00:10:03.000 It's tough to trust journalism these days. 0.55

00:10:05.000 It's tough to trust, like, how fucking weird your article's gonna be. 0.74

00:10:10.000 That's true. 0.91

00:10:11.000 Journalism's tough.

00:10:13.000 Watching news has become...

00:10:15.000 Man, I remember when it started to skew to personality and taste.

00:10:19.000 Now it's like off the rails.

00:10:21.000 It is off the rails.

00:10:23.000 That's where the money is.

00:10:23.000 I know, but it's like, you're totally just going with who, like, you're gonna watch, you can select what do I feel like leaning towards.

00:10:32.000 Yeah.

00:10:33.000 And then you watch that.

00:10:34.000 Tucker Carlson.

00:10:35.000 Yeah.

00:10:36.000 Or, you know.

00:10:37.000 Yeah, yeah, Rachel Maddow.

00:10:38.000 Yeah, there he is.

00:10:40.000 Look at that picture.

00:10:41.000 Oh my god.

00:10:42.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:10:43.000 Yes.

00:10:44.000 He looks nothing like that now.

00:10:45.000 Yeah.

00:10:46.000 That's what 105 billion will do.

00:10:48.000 He's just sitting there with that Amazon.com banner.

00:10:50.000 I hope that's still hanging somewhere in his house.

00:10:54.000 Yeah, he probably shoots loads on that thing.

00:10:58.000 What are you...

00:10:59.000 Oh my god.

00:11:01.000 Yeah.

00:11:01.000 Crazy that he started out.

00:11:03.000 I remember Amazon being a book thing.

00:11:05.000 Yeah.

00:11:05.000 I remember being a place to buy books.

00:11:07.000 And I remember thinking, how weird.

00:11:09.000 Like an online bookstore.

00:11:10.000 Why wouldn't you just go to the bookstore store where you could see the book?

00:11:13.000 Right.

00:11:14.000 And all those bookstores shut.

00:11:16.000 Like they closed. 0.97

00:11:17.000 He killed all of them. 0.99

00:11:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:18.000 There's only a few left.

00:11:19.000 Well, I know a guy who got a deal.

00:11:22.000 With Amazon.com to publish a book.

00:11:26.000 It was like when Amazon started publishing books.

00:11:28.000 And they blackballed him because of this.

00:11:32.000 Because he had had traditional outlet deals before.

00:11:36.000 And his books would be front and center in Barnes& Noble and all these other different places.

00:11:40.000 He's a pretty popular author. 1.00

00:11:42.000 But as soon as you went to Amazon.com, they're like, fuck you. 1.00

00:11:45.000 And they just shut them out. 1.00

00:11:46.000 They shut them out of all those stores.

00:11:48.000 And I was like, whoa.

00:11:49.000 There's like a weird book war going on that I didn't know about.

00:11:53.000 Those book people were trying to keep their business model going and thriving.

00:11:58.000 Yeah, but doing it by threats is never the way to go.

00:12:00.000 Probably not, no. 1.00

00:12:01.000 I mean, the best way to go is when Amazon publishes a book that people actually want to buy in your store, you dumb fuck. 1.00

00:12:07.000 Sure. 1.00

00:12:07.000 Put it in your store. 1.00

00:12:08.000 You know what I hate about these super rich guys?

00:12:11.000 They'll never, they never in their interviews talk, have like, the only one who will talk like what it's like to ball at that level and make it sound fun and like the things you want to ask is Mark Cuban. 0.99

00:12:21.000 I've seen him in interviews be like, ah yeah, I got a lot of shit. 0.91

00:12:25.000 And, like, knows that, like, that's a genuine curiosity for people. 0.99

00:12:29.000 Like, how fun is that?

00:12:30.000 You have two 747s.

00:12:32.000 He's like, yeah, man, that's pretty cool, right?

00:12:33.000 And he talks about it.

00:12:35.000 But I saw this interview with Gates, and this guy was asking all those questions.

00:12:38.000 He was like, do you have to worry about, like, when somebody asks you, like, when you ask for something, that someone's going to try to ask for more because of your known wealth?

00:12:48.000 He's like...

00:12:48.000 You know, my charity really is, like, just, like, dodging all those questions.

00:12:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:54.000 Of, like, the fun shit that everyone wants to know. 0.99

00:12:56.000 Right, right. 1.00

00:12:56.000 He just kept going back to his charity. 1.00

00:12:58.000 We're like, we know you're a fucking charitable guy. 0.99

00:13:01.000 Tell us what it's like to own six planes, bro. 1.00

00:13:04.000 Like, what kind of shit do you have? 1.00

00:13:06.000 You know, he's like this Xanadu house. 1.00

00:13:07.000 It's like 70,000 square feet or something.

00:13:11.000 Well, he's got a house.

00:13:12.000 I think it's on Puget Sound.

00:13:15.000 It's somewhere in the Seattle area.

00:13:17.000 Yeah, I think it's Medina.

00:13:18.000 Medina or Medina?

00:13:20.000 Is that what it is?

00:13:21.000 I think that's what it's called.

00:13:21.000 But it's so freaky.

00:13:23.000 Look at that.

00:13:23.000 Looks like you're using an ad blocker.

00:13:25.000 What did you pull up?

00:13:27.000 19 crazy facts about his house.

00:13:29.000 Oh, okay.

00:13:30.000 $123 million.

00:13:31.000 Okay.

00:13:31.000 Disable your ad blocker so we can read it.

00:13:34.000 So we were in Seattle and there's this thing that's near a bridge where you go under this bridge and they have these clear walls where you can see the salmon swimming up the salmon ladders.

00:13:49.000 They have everything set up with these clear glass walls.

00:13:53.000 It's really pretty badass.

00:13:55.000 But the guy who was there...

00:13:57.000 Who was the, you know, the guide of this thing, who's explaining us, you know, how this works and which kind of salmon you're looking at and the whole deal.

00:14:04.000 He was like, you know, my uncle worked on the Bill Gates House.

00:14:07.000 He starts talking about Bill Gates House, where Bill Gates House is and where he lives.

00:14:11.000 And I remember thinking, like, how weird must it be?

00:14:14.000 If you're so rich that all everybody wants to do is talk about like, hey, my friend worked on your house.

00:14:20.000 And I'm like, well, what's it like?

00:14:22.000 And he just starts describing his skills.

00:14:24.000 Well, he has like some sort of a submarine access in case he's getting kidnapped.

00:14:28.000 Like someone's trying to jack him.

00:14:30.000 They can get in a submarine and shoot out into the river.

00:14:33.000 I'm like, what?

00:14:33.000 Yeah.

00:14:34.000 I don't know even how much of that is even true.

00:14:36.000 Because this guy seemed like he was missing a little piece of his brain.

00:14:39.000 Yeah.

00:14:41.000 Start really adding stuff to it.

00:14:43.000 Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

00:14:44.000 I was like, how much of this is urban myth?

00:14:46.000 I know that they were reporting even, like, I don't know, when that house was built 10, 15, or whatever years ago, that even back then, there was shit in his house, because it was super high tech, of like, if you walk in a room, Music would play, and as you left the room, music would die down and pick up in the next room. 0.58

00:15:05.000 I think a regular person could probably do something like that now, but that was unheard of. 0.85

00:15:12.000 Yeah, I think you wore a pin.

00:15:13.000 You put a pin on, and that pin, as you walked into different rooms, recognized that you were the person.

00:15:20.000 So you had specific colors that you liked.

00:15:23.000 So there'd be like backlighting that was specific.

00:15:25.000 I just like to be his kids.

00:15:27.000 He's big on...

00:15:29.000 He's the one that started that giving pledge, which is like for billionaires to give the overwhelming majority of their wealth.

00:15:36.000 Right.

00:15:37.000 To charity, so that you don't pass on billions to your children.

00:15:42.000 Right.

00:15:42.000 So his thing is like, I'm gonna leave my kids money, but not like crazy money.

00:15:48.000 Crazy money.

00:15:48.000 But you're like, yeah, that's, you know, I totally get the idea behind that, but also like, if you grew up with You know, you're his kid and you're like, oh, we got lions this year or whatever.

00:16:01.000 And then you're like, you know, you grow up and you're like, I'm a whatever, a photographer now.

00:16:06.000 My dad left me five million dollars.

00:16:09.000 Five million dollars is great.

00:16:11.000 It's great, but my thing is like, it's such a step down from what they're used to. 0.98

00:16:16.000 I don't feel even remotely bad for some fucking kid who gets five million dollars from I don't feel bad. 1.00

00:16:22.000 What I'm saying is that that adjustment has to kick you in the balls. 0.99

00:16:25.000 I mean, the exposure that they've had, the lifestyle, is like, it's not, it's unfathomable to us. 0.98

00:16:30.000 Like, we can't even, it's beyond, they're just like, it's like being a prince, you know? 0.95

00:16:36.000 It's like your dad's a sultan of Brunei, and then he's like, well, go fucking, I mean, they're probably well-adjusted. 0.63

00:16:42.000 I don't know why I assume that, but I think that, like, He and his wife seem like such reasonable people that I bet they've, you know, prepared them for what's coming. 0.95

00:16:51.000 Well, they've got to figure out a way to make it on their own, and how do you get a kid to do that?

00:16:56.000 That's tough, right?

00:16:57.000 You know?

00:16:57.000 How do you get a kid to do that who's grown up like that?

00:17:00.000 Right.

00:17:01.000 Yeah.

00:17:01.000 Do you think about that with your kid, like, as you're starting to ball out of control?

00:17:05.000 Yeah, I think about it for sure.

00:17:07.000 Like, how do you...

00:17:08.000 And then, like, how to not, you know...

00:17:12.000 You want to prepare your kid for that, and then how will a boy, I don't know, maybe especially, boys align with their dads usually in a certain way, you know?

00:17:21.000 Like, kid compares himself to you and your success, but you don't want him to feel like, you know, he's less than.

00:17:29.000 Right, in your shadow.

00:17:30.000 Sure, yeah.

00:17:31.000 Especially, what if he goes into comedy?

00:17:33.000 Oh my god.

00:17:34.000 Oof.

00:17:35.000 Have you thought about if your daughters were to go into comedy?

00:17:37.000 My seven-year-old's hilarious.

00:17:40.000 She's really funny.

00:17:42.000 Does she ever like...

00:17:43.000 I'm sure she's... 0.99

00:17:44.000 She doesn't know what the fuck comedy is. 1.00

00:17:46.000 No? 1.00

00:17:46.000 She just knows how to be silly. 1.00

00:17:47.000 Has she seen you on the TV doing it? 0.97

00:17:49.000 Not really.

00:17:50.000 She flipped through Netflix and makes fun of me. 1.00

00:17:54.000 Really?

00:17:54.000 Yeah.

00:17:55.000 Like, nice jeans, Dad?

00:17:57.000 No, she starts mocking me.

00:17:58.000 Really?

00:17:59.000 Yeah, she's just ruthlessly funny. 1.00

00:18:02.000 That's cool.

00:18:02.000 She just goes after it.

00:18:03.000 Seven-year-old is the younger?

00:18:04.000 Yeah.

00:18:05.000 She goes after it all the time.

00:18:07.000 She's like, going after jokes.

00:18:09.000 That's hilarious.

00:18:09.000 Yeah.

00:18:10.000 She's really funny.

00:18:12.000 But I see her becoming a YouTube character or something.

00:18:15.000 What do you think about them not feeling overwhelmed by your success or status?

00:18:24.000 I think it's less likely because they're girls.

00:18:27.000 I was actually having a conversation with Neil Brennan about this last night.

00:18:31.000 We were talking about another famous guy.

00:18:34.000 I don't know him that well, so I won't use his name.

00:18:36.000 But he has two sons and at least one daughter.

00:18:41.000 The daughter's highly motivated.

00:18:42.000 He's not worried about it at all. 0.99

00:18:44.000 She kicks ass in school. 0.98

00:18:45.000 She's awesome. 1.00

00:18:45.000 The sons are fucking insanely lazy. 1.00

00:18:48.000 And they just sit around and they know that when they turn 26, they get a giant check. 1.00

00:18:53.000 And they're 25 now.

00:18:55.000 Oh, boy. 1.00

00:18:55.000 They don't do shit. 1.00

00:18:56.000 That's terrible. 1.00

00:18:57.000 And he's super worried about it.

00:18:59.000 I would be too.

00:19:00.000 He doesn't know what to do.

00:19:01.000 Yeah, that's like a nightmare, man.

00:19:04.000 Well, it's so hard to actually do something if you don't have to.

00:19:09.000 It's so hard to make something happen in your life, right?

00:19:14.000 To start a business, to enter into a career, to become successful at it, to really focus and try to get good to the point where you're successful at something, you have to have a fire inside of you.

00:19:26.000 You have to have a need to achieve.

00:19:27.000 And if you already have a Ferrari, and you're already living in a mansion, you already have $10 million in the bank, you already have all your bills paid, you don't have to get up in the morning if you don't want to.

00:19:39.000 The idea of just becoming this disciplined machine that's out there to try to kick ass in this life and be self-actualized, so hard, so hard to pull off.

00:19:50.000 You gotta, like, dial back to on the spoiling, I think.

00:19:54.000 I went to...

00:19:55.000 High school with a grandson of a billionaire.

00:19:58.000 And they were very present in the area.

00:20:02.000 And they drove used cars, the grandkids I'm saying.

00:20:09.000 And obviously they could have gotten way more.

00:20:11.000 But it was like instilling this, you're not just going to coast through everything.

00:20:17.000 And they got jobs, and as far as I know about now, what he's doing now is he's working.

00:20:24.000 He's really working.

00:20:25.000 Even though he's going to inherit just crazy amounts of money.

00:20:28.000 But I mean, part of it too is just the nature of that person.

00:20:33.000 I think you can try to not go crazy with taking care of gifts and all that stuff, but some of that drive has to come from within, no matter what your socioeconomic level is.

00:20:45.000 Yeah, I would imagine some of it.

00:20:47.000 I think there's people that grow up rich that it doesn't matter.

00:20:51.000 It doesn't matter.

00:20:52.000 They're going to succeed.

00:20:53.000 They love it.

00:20:54.000 They like succeeding.

00:20:55.000 They like working hard.

00:20:57.000 They like getting things done.

00:20:58.000 But then there's... 1.00

00:20:59.000 Like, what causes a kid to be a lazy fuck? 1.00

00:21:03.000 You know, like, you come home, the kid's on the couch, just with their feet up, and they don't... 1.00

00:21:06.000 Did you do what I asked you to do?

00:21:08.000 I was gonna, but something happened. 0.99

00:21:11.000 Mike called, and fucking... 1.00

00:21:13.000 I know people like that, man. 1.00

00:21:15.000 I think there's something wrong with just...

00:21:17.000 I mean, I know people like that who you want to shake.

00:21:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:19.000 You know, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

00:21:21.000 But they... 1.00

00:21:21.000 I think a lot of times they just... 1.00

00:21:23.000 It's almost like they fear doing the thing.

00:21:25.000 They're scared.

00:21:26.000 They're scared. 0.97

00:21:26.000 What if I do something and I suck at it? 0.97

00:21:29.000 You know, that kind of thing.

00:21:30.000 There's definitely that.

00:21:31.000 Yeah.

00:21:31.000 There's...

00:21:32.000 Well, you see that in a lot of, like...

00:21:36.000 Amateur comics that are sort of starting to make it into comedy.

00:21:41.000 Yeah.

00:21:41.000 You see a lot of sabotage.

00:21:44.000 You know that stress of you're just doing open mic nights and then all of a sudden you're starting to get paid and then some people start moving forward and other people get left behind.

00:21:53.000 Sure.

00:21:53.000 Remember those days?

00:21:54.000 Of course.

00:21:55.000 I remember thinking, like, man, boy, there's a lot of people here that are sabotaging themselves.

00:21:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:00.000 You can see the stress of...

00:22:02.000 Because stand-up in particular is so open-ended.

00:22:05.000 Like, you could make of it what you want.

00:22:07.000 You put in as much as you want.

00:22:08.000 You either can be successful or not, depending upon how much you focus on it, how much talent you have, how much drive and discipline you have.

00:22:17.000 And a couple breaks.

00:22:18.000 Yeah, and a couple breaks.

00:22:19.000 There's a bunch of factors.

00:22:20.000 And sometimes those factors are just too overwhelming to some people, and you see them just start tanking it.

00:22:26.000 They're drinking at the store every night.

00:22:28.000 Yeah, because it's scary.

00:22:29.000 That's the truth, is that it's scary.

00:22:31.000 I remember, and people handle it different ways.

00:22:33.000 I remember the people who'd be like, they would just say, this isn't going to work out.

00:22:38.000 I don't know why we're doing this.

00:22:41.000 Oh, yeah, those people.

00:22:42.000 And I was always like, dude, don't talk to me anymore.

00:22:47.000 I don't want to hear you. 1.00

00:22:48.000 Yeah, you're fucking so negative. 0.99

00:22:50.000 But they're doing that just to sort of eliminate that pain of failing. 1.00

00:22:55.000 Yeah.

00:22:56.000 They're trying to just address it now.

00:22:58.000 Eh, come on.

00:22:59.000 We're just normal guys.

00:23:00.000 It's never going to happen.

00:23:01.000 It's never going to happen. 1.00

00:23:02.000 You and I will just get a fucking regular job. 0.99

00:23:03.000 We'll be working for Amazon or something. 1.00

00:23:06.000 Yeah.

00:23:07.000 And you're like, what?

00:23:08.000 What are you talking about, man?

00:23:09.000 Yeah, there's people who are like, yeah, this doesn't, you know, you can't make any money doing this.

00:23:13.000 I remember that a lot, too.

00:23:14.000 Like, you can't make any money doing this.

00:23:16.000 I was like, whoa, you can't make any money right now.

00:23:18.000 It doesn't mean you're not going to make money later.

00:23:20.000 And they're like, well, how are you going to get to later?

00:23:22.000 Because there's no money now.

00:23:23.000 I'm like...

00:23:24.000 You know what's almost as weird?

00:23:25.000 Do you remember the development deal years?

00:23:28.000 Were you around during the development deal years?

00:23:29.000 I was at the tail end.

00:23:31.000 I was at the, where they were like, they were like, ah, two years ago you would have made $600,000 for that set.

00:23:35.000 And you're like, Jesus Christ.

00:23:36.000 Yeah.

00:23:37.000 I was there for the development deal years, but I kind of was working during most of it.

00:23:44.000 Because during most of it, I was doing news radio.

00:23:46.000 When it got really hot, I was doing news radio.

00:23:49.000 And I remember that there were comics that would go to Montreal.

00:23:53.000 They would do the comedy festival.

00:23:55.000 They would have these sets.

00:23:56.000 And they would come back, and they had half-million-dollar deals.

00:23:59.000 Crazy. 0.98

00:24:00.000 And there were sitcoms, and they were convinced that it was all fucking happening for them. 0.99

00:24:05.000 Yeah. 0.89

00:24:05.000 And I remember I had quite more than one conversation with one of these people that was trying to put me on their show. 0.89

00:24:12.000 Comics that have never worked since.

00:24:14.000 Like, you do not hear from them.

00:24:16.000 You should do my show.

00:24:16.000 Yeah, bro.

00:24:18.000 My show's guaranteed.

00:24:20.000 This is what's going to happen.

00:24:21.000 It's guaranteed to go to air.

00:24:22.000 If it doesn't go to air, there's a million dollar backup deal.

00:24:24.000 Like, they had all this stuff that they were telling you about.

00:24:26.000 Like, they went the opposite way.

00:24:28.000 Instead of, like, being, like, terrified of the future to the point where they were just, like, letting themselves off the hook.

00:24:34.000 They were super confident in this weird, delusional, it's definitely happening for me thing.

00:24:40.000 It's odd, man.

00:24:41.000 Yeah.

00:24:41.000 It's odd to subscribe.

00:24:42.000 See, that would always scare me because I'm more, my just more life perspective is like you don't react until like the check clears.

00:24:53.000 Yeah, right?

00:24:53.000 Yeah, I don't go like, this definitely happens.

00:24:56.000 No, it's always like wait and see.

00:24:58.000 Well, those people that, it was interesting because none of them made it.

00:25:02.000 Yeah.

00:25:03.000 None of them.

00:25:04.000 And they were all convinced.

00:25:05.000 But it was a weird convinced.

00:25:07.000 It was like, have you...

00:25:09.000 What?

00:25:10.000 Yeah.

00:25:10.000 Like, you're not even that good.

00:25:12.000 Yeah.

00:25:12.000 That's what I wanted to tell them.

00:25:13.000 Of course.

00:25:14.000 You got lucky, man.

00:25:15.000 You had a pretty...

00:25:16.000 You're kind of cute.

00:25:17.000 You had a pretty decent set in front of a very willing crowd.

00:25:21.000 Yeah.

00:25:22.000 And someone took a chance on you because...

00:25:24.000 People are going...

00:25:25.000 There was a nutty time.

00:25:26.000 I guess we should describe it to people.

00:25:28.000 There was a nutty time where they were just chucking around development deals like a regular person who probably had no business being on stage could get a $100,000 development deal.

00:25:36.000 Yeah, I literally just missed that.

00:25:39.000 I think they said that the last big one that they talked about was, like, 05. They're like, that was, like, one of the last big six-figure development deals, which is basically you go to Montreal...

00:25:51.000 You know, which is the Just for Laughs big festival.

00:25:53.000 All the executives go.

00:25:54.000 They all basically party for a week.

00:25:56.000 Yeah.

00:25:56.000 It was like an excuse to do work.

00:25:59.000 And then, you know, they were signing people up with those checks.

00:26:02.000 And we literally, I went in the 07 New Faces class.

00:26:06.000 And they're like, ah, two years ago someone got $850,000 for his 15-minute set.

00:26:11.000 850?

00:26:12.000 Yeah, it's like one of the big, the last big ones that failed.

00:26:16.000 Like, they had a record, there was like a tallying of like, This person, this person, this person, this person all got them, and nothing came of it.

00:26:25.000 And then they went all in in 05 on a couple other people, and then that didn't pan out some. 0.99

00:26:30.000 So they're like, fuck these development deals, man. 0.99

00:26:32.000 Now it's done. 1.00

00:26:33.000 No, it never happens now.

00:26:35.000 You never hear about them.

00:26:36.000 No.

00:26:37.000 I got one in 93. I got a development deal in 93. Wow.

00:26:43.000 Yeah.

00:26:44.000 From the festival?

00:26:44.000 I got one of the first ones.

00:26:45.000 No, for the festival.

00:26:47.000 Wow.

00:26:47.000 Yeah, I went to the festival with a deal.

00:26:50.000 That's crazy.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, I had to deal with Disney.

00:26:53.000 Yeah, now they... 1.00

00:26:54.000 That shit never happens. 0.99

00:26:56.000 It was the weirdest thing in the world because it was... 1.00

00:26:58.000 I went from being fucking broke. 0.94

00:27:00.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:27:01.000 Like, you know, oh, I'm making $300 this weekend if I go to this place and do a set on Friday night.

00:27:06.000 Yeah.

00:27:07.000 And then, you know...

00:27:09.000 You got six figures.

00:27:10.000 Yeah.

00:27:11.000 Did you think, were you like, this is crazy right now?

00:27:13.000 I think I got 100 the first time, and then there was a second part of it where I got 50. It was just like, what?

00:27:20.000 I was eating lobster every night.

00:27:22.000 Didn't you say that your accountant made a business manager call?

00:27:25.000 He thought I had a gambling problem.

00:27:27.000 That's so funny.

00:27:28.000 It's like, nope.

00:27:29.000 I'm just eating like a king.

00:27:31.000 And he was like, how are you spending so much money?

00:27:33.000 And I was like, I'm just spending money like this is how I'm going to live from now on.

00:27:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:37.000 He's like, that is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. 1.00

00:27:40.000 Why? 1.00

00:27:41.000 I was right.

00:27:42.000 Yeah.

00:27:43.000 Because I was right.

00:27:44.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:27:45.000 It just took a chance.

00:27:46.000 Yeah.

00:27:47.000 That's so cool.

00:27:47.000 It could have turned out terribly wrong.

00:27:49.000 But the thing that was weird about it that was the most incredible thing was that once I started working and once the money, the check came in and...

00:28:01.000 I didn't have to think about my bills anymore.

00:28:03.000 There was a physical feeling of relief.

00:28:06.000 Like a physical feeling of relief.

00:28:08.000 Yeah.

00:28:09.000 To go from being broke and have no idea how you're going to pay your bills and just trying to hustle up a $100 set or a $75 set somewhere to go from that to just not having to worry about money.

00:28:22.000 Yeah.

00:28:23.000 Instantaneously.

00:28:24.000 Instantaneously.

00:28:25.000 You know, after taxes, having X amount of dollars in the bank and just going, what?

00:28:29.000 That's in the bank?

00:28:30.000 Yeah.

00:28:31.000 That's crazy.

00:28:32.000 I know.

00:28:32.000 But then the feeling, like a lightness of being, like, I felt physically lighter.

00:28:39.000 It's so much of your, like, it consumes you for so much of your life.

00:28:43.000 It's like, and there's this bill and there's that bill.

00:28:46.000 It's like it's on your mind all the time.

00:28:47.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:28:48.000 You know, like, Oh shit, I know I got these weeks of work lined up, but then that other thing's gonna come up, so I need to call it, because it's all you think about. 0.95

00:28:57.000 But I think it goes the other way too. 0.97

00:28:59.000 I think that when you get to this Jeff Bezos level, I think then all of a sudden it's a burden.

00:29:05.000 Because I feel like the lightness is, like Brian Callen had a saying once, and I've repeated it a bunch of times because I think he nailed it.

00:29:13.000 He said, you want to get rich enough so that you don't have to worry about your bills and you don't have to worry about how much things cost when you go to eat at a restaurant.

00:29:20.000 Yeah, that's great. 0.99

00:29:21.000 Because everything else after that is bullshit. 0.99

00:29:23.000 That's true. 0.99

00:29:24.000 It's true.

00:29:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:25.000 All that other stuff like acquiring stuff and fucking jewelry and shit like that. 0.99

00:29:31.000 What are you dealing with all that? 0.99

00:29:33.000 No, you're right.

00:29:33.000 And it's like there's that thing too when you have enough money to go to restaurants.

00:29:39.000 And sometimes you'll go to a restaurant and they're like, and the special is this cut of meat and there's a lobster on the side and it's $69.95.

00:29:49.000 And you're like, not a problem.

00:29:51.000 Yeah.

00:29:52.000 I always feel like it's weird when they tell you the price.

00:29:54.000 I know.

00:29:54.000 You're like, what are you freaking going to embarrass me here at the table?

00:29:58.000 I'm good.

00:29:59.000 But it's an odd thing.

00:30:00.000 Sometimes they tell you the price and sometimes they don't.

00:30:03.000 Sometimes they just tell you the special.

00:30:05.000 We have a rack of lamb.

00:30:06.000 Oh, that sounds good.

00:30:07.000 Nice restaurants.

00:30:08.000 A lot of times there's multiple items that just says market price.

00:30:10.000 Yeah, that's a weird one.

00:30:12.000 And you can just be like, I want that.

00:30:13.000 And they're like, you said so.

00:30:15.000 And then they just bring it to you and you're like, that's $400.

00:30:19.000 You're like, what?

00:30:20.000 Yeah, what kind of market is this?

00:30:21.000 This is crazy.

00:30:23.000 But don't you think that if you get to the point where you're worth $105 billion, just to focus on you alone...

00:30:29.000 It's a lot, yeah.

00:30:30.000 It must be overwhelming.

00:30:31.000 It must be overwhelming, and also, it's like to the Bill Gates thing, it's like, it is the thing that...

00:30:38.000 That everybody probably wants to ask you to talk about.

00:30:42.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:30:43.000 It's like everyone knows you have a 15 inch dick and they're like, let me see it, man. 1.00

00:30:47.000 Just let me see it. 1.00

00:30:48.000 Can I touch it?

00:30:49.000 Can I see it?

00:30:50.000 What does it taste like? 1.00

00:30:51.000 It tastes like a regular dick? 1.00

00:30:52.000 Like it's limp and it's 15 inches? 1.00

00:30:53.000 It's crazy.

00:30:54.000 It's like knowing that about someone.

00:30:56.000 It's all everyone...

00:30:57.000 So yeah, I think that energy you feel, that everyone's like, you're super rich?

00:31:01.000 Yeah.

00:31:01.000 Because we're all fascinated, especially in this country, with, you know, accumulating wealth.

00:31:05.000 It's like, I feel like it's heightened here.

00:31:08.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:31:10.000 Well, I mean, think about how much of the culture is about ballin'. 0.58

00:31:13.000 Yeah.

00:31:13.000 You know, I mean, it's all about young...

00:31:16.000 Entertainment culture is all about showing diamonds and stepping out of Rolls Royces.

00:31:21.000 I saw this dude.

00:31:22.000 I don't know his name.

00:31:23.000 They showed him getting jewelry that he bought.

00:31:26.000 And you saw that?

00:31:27.000 And it has an emblem with a 69 and it spins.

00:31:31.000 And he's got, like, diamond teeth.

00:31:33.000 And then he had, like, 200 grand in his waistband.

00:31:36.000 He just took it out and was like, ah, ah, stacking the money. 0.99

00:31:39.000 It's just, like, it's a fascination with, like, look how much shit I have and all the shit I can buy. 0.99

00:31:43.000 Like, that's part of the culture now. 1.00

00:31:45.000 It's been going on for a long time.

00:31:47.000 It has been, yeah.

00:31:47.000 It's coming up from poverty.

00:31:49.000 That's what it is.

00:31:50.000 Right.

00:31:50.000 The idea is that these guys were all, like, super poor, and then they made it, and here, this is what happens when you make it.

00:31:57.000 You know what it's kind of also, we see that in like hip-hop a lot here, but it's also what you saw with major drug traffickers.

00:32:05.000 They all come from extreme poverty, all of them.

00:32:08.000 El Chapo, Pablo Escobar, super, super, super poor. 1.00

00:32:12.000 And they accumulate in crazy amounts of wealth, and then they're like, look at all my shit! 0.99

00:32:17.000 You know, it's like you see the parallel. 0.99

00:32:20.000 It's the same thing. 0.99

00:32:21.000 Yeah, like when Pablo Escobar, when he had hippos and shit. 1.00

00:32:26.000 He had a fucking zoo at his house. 0.99

00:32:29.000 When he built his prison, he was like, I'll serve time, but I'm building it. 0.99

00:32:34.000 And there was soccer fields, and then he would fly in, national players, be like, play soccer with me today.

00:32:38.000 Yeah.

00:32:39.000 And they're like, okay.

00:32:39.000 And even after all that, he was like, nah, I don't want to be here anymore.

00:32:42.000 I'm going to get out of here.

00:32:43.000 I'm leaving.

00:32:44.000 Yeah.

00:32:44.000 He built his own prison.

00:32:46.000 What?

00:32:47.000 Columbia.

00:32:47.000 And they had parties.

00:32:49.000 Joey Diaz got me on the show.

00:32:51.000 Because I watched Narcos, which is a great Netflix series.

00:32:54.000 And then there's another series called Surviving Escobar, and it follows...

00:33:00.000 Escobar had a right-hand man.

00:33:03.000 His right-hand hitman killed like 300 people for him, named John Heidel Velazquez Vazquez.

00:33:11.000 And it follows him from like the day they got Escobar and this guy turned himself in.

00:33:18.000 And it shows him in prison and how he just ended up starting another cartel from within prison.

00:33:26.000 It's a fascinating series.

00:33:28.000 Yeah.

00:33:28.000 That's it.

00:33:29.000 And this is a new Netflix special?

00:33:31.000 I think what happened was that I feel like it was a...

00:33:33.000 It seems like it was a Colombian series that they acquired, is what it seems like.

00:33:38.000 I'm not sure.

00:33:39.000 But it's really good.

00:33:40.000 I mean, it's all in Spanish with subtitles, but it's...

00:33:44.000 And that's the real guy in that picture right there.

00:33:46.000 Is that guy still alive?

00:33:47.000 Yeah.

00:33:48.000 His nickname's Popeye. 1.00

00:33:49.000 And he fucking murdered so many people. 1.00

00:33:55.000 And they had such a dedication to their bosses. 1.00

00:33:57.000 That's one of the things.

00:33:58.000 They followed them like religious leaders, you know?

00:34:01.000 Like, if he's in an interview, Popeye, this guy, saying, if Pablo Escobar had told me to kill my dad, I would have done it.

00:34:10.000 Whoa.

00:34:11.000 Like, I wouldn't have hesitated either.

00:34:12.000 Like, they have such devotion to the boss.

00:34:16.000 It's really wild. 1.00

00:34:17.000 Maybe his dad was a dick. 1.00

00:34:18.000 Maybe he was. 1.00

00:34:21.000 He's like, yeah, my dad was a big asshole. 1.00

00:34:22.000 So, yeah, of course I'd kill him. 1.00

00:34:24.000 There's that movie that's coming out now about the lady from Cocaine Cowboys, what the fuck was her name? 1.00

00:34:33.000 Oh, Griselda Blanco. 0.98

00:34:34.000 Griselda, yeah. 1.00

00:34:35.000 With Jennifer Lopez.

00:34:36.000 No, it was Catherine Zeta-Jones.

00:34:37.000 Oh, that's right.

00:34:38.000 And she actually, they made her, like, not as hot.

00:34:40.000 Really?

00:34:41.000 Yeah.

00:34:41.000 Well, she's like 80 now.

00:34:43.000 No, she's not.

00:34:45.000 Yeah, she's 150 years old. 0.67

00:34:47.000 She weighs 6.50 like Burt.

00:34:52.000 You know, we took pictures, a picture before we went to the game together, posed together.

00:34:59.000 I have a t-shirt on.

00:35:01.000 Burt has a hoodie like this with pockets.

00:35:04.000 And then a jersey over it.

00:35:05.000 So it just looks so much.

00:35:07.000 Everybody, everybody was like, Jesus Christ, Bert, did you put on 400 pounds?

00:35:11.000 That picture.

00:35:12.000 Because he has like six layers on in that photo.

00:35:15.000 It was all, they were all.

00:35:16.000 You look pretty slim there, though.

00:35:18.000 You do look slim.

00:35:19.000 Ari got fat for a while.

00:35:21.000 Did he?

00:35:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:21.000 Ari got into serious candy addiction.

00:35:25.000 Oh.

00:35:25.000 Quite a bit.

00:35:27.000 Which is fucking terrible for you. 0.99

00:35:29.000 That sugar fat, just getting fat from nothing but sugar. 0.99

00:35:33.000 Yeah.

00:35:33.000 But he just decided to lose the weight.

00:35:36.000 Yeah, he looked good.

00:35:37.000 That was a long time ago, though.

00:35:38.000 But the way he did it was pretty interesting.

00:35:40.000 He just said, eh, I don't want to be fat anymore.

00:35:42.000 That's a good way to do it.

00:35:43.000 Didn't join Weight Watchers, didn't do anything.

00:35:45.000 He has a body that responds to that pretty well, too, though.

00:35:49.000 I feel like there's definitely different body types, and he's the kind that could probably make a slight adjustment and see things sway.

00:35:57.000 Well, I guarantee with Burt, it's booze.

00:35:59.000 If Burt just cut off the booze, I mean, he would lose a massive amount of weight.

00:36:05.000 He goes so hard.

00:36:06.000 He goes so hard.

00:36:07.000 It's bizarre.

00:36:09.000 Yeah.

00:36:10.000 No, he goes hard, man.

00:36:11.000 To the point where I was really stunned that he made it through Sober October.

00:36:16.000 I was stunned.

00:36:17.000 I think he really responds to challenges.

00:36:19.000 He likes the challenge.

00:36:22.000 We always joke how he speaks in hyperbole, and he's always just like, if you go, I bet you can do that. 0.99

00:36:27.000 He's like, definitely fucking do that. 0.97

00:36:28.000 It's always immediate. 0.99

00:36:30.000 It's without consideration of it. 0.99

00:36:32.000 He's like, I can definitely fucking do that. 0.90

00:36:34.000 Now Ari said, when we were hanging this weekend, because Burr's like, I'm definitely doing the LA Marathon in, I think it's in April. 1.00

00:36:42.000 And Ari's like, if you do that, I will show up in roller skates and I will fucking kill you. 1.00

00:36:49.000 And Bert's like, there's no way. 1.00

00:36:51.000 There's just no way.

00:36:51.000 And we were like, what are you talking about?

00:36:53.000 Like, you can casually roller skate a five-minute mile.

00:36:56.000 Yeah.

00:36:57.000 Casually.

00:36:57.000 Not even booking.

00:36:59.000 No sweating.

00:37:00.000 No.

00:37:00.000 And he's like, after 10 miles, I mean, your feet will hurt.

00:37:05.000 And I'm like, so just push through it.

00:37:06.000 Like, why do you think you can push through something and somebody else can't? 0.99

00:37:11.000 Well, just fucking push through it. 1.00

00:37:12.000 We'll beat you. 1.00

00:37:14.000 I was like, I'll go take a nap and get back and then still beat you.

00:37:17.000 He's like, no, I'll definitely, definitely beat you.

00:37:20.000 Well, he ran a half marathon.

00:37:22.000 He did, and he did surprisingly well.

00:37:23.000 I didn't think he would do that.

00:37:24.000 How long did it take him to run a half marathon?

00:37:26.000 I want to say it was like in the 240, something like that, right?

00:37:29.000 Something like that.

00:37:30.000 Maybe 235, 245, something that range.

00:37:32.000 So is that a clean split?

00:37:35.000 Like, can you say, oh, that means you would do a five-hour marathon?

00:37:37.000 Not necessarily, no.

00:37:39.000 You'd be slower.

00:37:40.000 You'd get tired.

00:37:41.000 You'd be slower, yeah.

00:37:42.000 That second half.

00:37:43.000 Everyone that I've talked to said, especially that last stretch, like those last five miles, are supposed to be the most taxing, you know?

00:37:51.000 Yeah, meanwhile, my friend Cam Haynes is running a marathon a day.

00:37:54.000 It's really, really crazy.

00:37:56.000 Really crazy what he does. 1.00

00:37:57.000 Fucking psychopath. 1.00

00:37:57.000 I know, and you watch him, you know, I pull up his Instagram, and I'm like, just fucking positive, man. 1.00

00:38:02.000 Just do it.

00:38:03.000 He's getting up every morning before work.

00:38:05.000 He has a regular job. 0.99

00:38:06.000 He's running fucking miles and miles at six in the morning. 0.99

00:38:10.000 And I heard him say, the only thing that made him seem human was him talking about, there was a time when he said it was hard to run a mile or something. 0.99

00:38:18.000 Yeah.

00:38:18.000 He was like, yeah, I remember when it was hard to run a mile.

00:38:21.000 I'm like, seriously?

00:38:22.000 You had trouble running a mile?

00:38:24.000 Yeah, when he first started running.

00:38:25.000 Like everybody else.

00:38:27.000 Running's a weird thing, man.

00:38:28.000 You've been doing it a lot more.

00:38:30.000 Yeah.

00:38:30.000 But when I do it now, too, I'm kind of amazed.

00:38:33.000 I think back at where it used to be difficult, and it's not difficult there anymore.

00:38:38.000 I'm like, well, how come it's not...

00:38:39.000 It's almost like your brain's like, well, what happened?

00:38:41.000 Like, what changed?

00:38:42.000 Yeah.

00:38:42.000 How come I can just run up this section now and hustle through here and push around this corner and get up to that ridge and go over the top and then to the next top, and that's where I stop now?

00:38:52.000 Yeah.

00:38:52.000 Like, why did I get so much further?

00:38:53.000 Yeah.

00:38:54.000 Your body...

00:38:56.000 It's almost like your brain doesn't want to believe that your body can get in better shape.

00:39:00.000 Right.

00:39:00.000 You know you can.

00:39:02.000 When I work out and have worked out for a long time and I'm fit and I'll do rounds in the bag or something like that, I'll know I'm not getting as tired as I used to be, but I don't want to believe it.

00:39:12.000 Right.

00:39:12.000 That is weird.

00:39:13.000 Why? 0.98

00:39:13.000 Your brain is... 0.98

00:39:16.000 It's like trying to keep you from progressing in a way.

00:39:19.000 I don't know.

00:39:20.000 It's like your brain has memories of the times where you were getting tired doing stuff that you're not getting tired anymore.

00:39:25.000 You're confused.

00:39:26.000 What's happening here?

00:39:27.000 I've been doing...

00:39:27.000 I hired a trainer and part of our workouts has been bike sprints, like stationary bike sprints.

00:39:35.000 Fuck, man. 0.99

00:39:36.000 Do you get an airdyne sprint or do you do just like a regular bike sprint? 1.00

00:39:39.000 I mean, it's a stationary bike, right?

00:39:42.000 So I don't know what type of bike it is, but it'll be like a max-out 30-second sprint in recovery.

00:39:48.000 I've never felt as close to dying.

00:39:51.000 Really?

00:39:52.000 I mean, especially on the third sprint.

00:39:55.000 It's like, you know, lungs, heart, quads are just like... 1.00

00:40:01.000 I have a whole new respect just for cyclists, just doing those fucking stupid sprints I do. 1.00

00:40:06.000 It's just so taxing. 1.00

00:40:09.000 Where'd you get this guy?

00:40:11.000 I found him just searching, and I met him, and then started doing work.

00:40:16.000 He's just been giving me one-on-one, and I've been just mixing it up.

00:40:22.000 So we'll have strength days where it's power days, higher weight, lower reps, and then he'll...

00:40:28.000 Throw in core stuff, and then we'll do high rep days.

00:40:30.000 I like the mixing it up.

00:40:32.000 I get bored, you know?

00:40:33.000 Of course. 0.99

00:40:34.000 It's been fun to work out with somebody who knows his shit and has been super challenging. 0.98

00:40:41.000 What's his name? 0.99

00:40:42.000 You wanna know his name?

00:40:42.000 Just give me his first name.

00:40:44.000 There's two dudes.

00:40:45.000 Two different guys?

00:40:46.000 Two different guys.

00:40:47.000 You go to two different guys.

00:40:48.000 You got two trainers.

00:40:49.000 I got three, actually.

00:40:50.000 Hashtag ballin'.

00:40:51.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:40:52.000 How are your kids going to relate to you?

00:40:53.000 Man, they can't, man.

00:40:54.000 Daddy had three trainers.

00:40:55.000 Dad's on TV. Of course daddy's got a six pack.

00:40:57.000 He had three trainers.

00:40:59.000 I got Micah, Sean, and Kelly.

00:41:01.000 So how do you mix it up?

00:41:02.000 Why do you go to three different people? 1.00

00:41:03.000 Because you can, bitch. 1.00

00:41:05.000 Yeah, just to make it challenging and different. 1.00

00:41:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:08.000 Just to do different shit. 0.99

00:41:09.000 Really, that's the truth. 0.99

00:41:10.000 Really?

00:41:10.000 Yeah.

00:41:11.000 Just to do different shit. 0.95

00:41:12.000 Because I know that I'm going to get something different out of them on different days. 0.98

00:41:16.000 And how many times a week are you working out now?

00:41:18.000 If you've got three different trainers, you must be hitting them at least once a week, each guy.

00:41:21.000 I'm doing like three or four days a week.

00:41:24.000 Yeah.

00:41:24.000 Tommy Bunn's getting in shape.

00:41:26.000 Mm-hmm.

00:41:27.000 I'm super strong, man.

00:41:28.000 Yeah.

00:41:28.000 I don't know why, but it just happened.

00:41:30.000 Probably because you're famous.

00:41:31.000 Yeah, probably.

00:41:32.000 Do you recognize me?

00:41:33.000 Do you guys want a picture?

00:41:34.000 Do you guys want a picture?

00:41:35.000 Do you guys want a picture?

00:41:37.000 Let's take our shirts off.

00:41:38.000 Some girl goes, oh, my friend that works here at this bar is a big fan of yours to Bert. 0.99

00:41:46.000 Will you sign the back of this to her?

00:41:49.000 He was like, how about a video?

00:41:54.000 And then she goes, okay, takes his shirt off in a black cigar bar in Atlanta, okay?

00:42:01.000 And like everybody, yes.

00:42:02.000 And then he takes the camera and he goes like up his stomach.

00:42:06.000 He's like, hey! 1.00

00:42:11.000 What the fuck, Bert? 1.00

00:42:12.000 But of course she was like, that's fucking awesome! 1.00

00:42:14.000 That's amazing! 0.99

00:42:15.000 Yeah, of course.

00:42:15.000 She lost her mind.

00:42:16.000 Yeah, of course.

00:42:17.000 And if you were the girl.

00:42:18.000 Oh, this is him in a...

00:42:18.000 Oh, yeah, I saw this.

00:42:20.000 Like, what happened here?

00:42:21.000 Dude, he just...

00:42:22.000 We're buying booze.

00:42:29.000 But everybody was dancing.

00:42:31.000 It wasn't just him.

00:42:32.000 He got the vibe going, man.

00:42:33.000 I'm telling you, that's his natural element.

00:42:35.000 He's also about 19 drinks in.

00:42:38.000 19?

00:42:39.000 Literally?

00:42:40.000 Boy, he looks hammered.

00:42:46.000 I mean, that whole store was dancing with him.

00:42:49.000 There really was.

00:42:50.000 People walked in and knew him.

00:42:51.000 Ari's drunk, too.

00:42:52.000 Look.

00:42:52.000 Yeah.

00:42:53.000 Look at Ari dancing. 1.00

00:42:54.000 He dances like the whitest fish fan ever.

00:42:57.000 That's so true.

00:42:58.000 He's like jumping up and down with his legs together.

00:43:01.000 These guys knew him.

00:43:03.000 Yeah, he was in heaven, man.

00:43:07.000 Boy, what a weird life that Bert Kreischer lives.

00:43:11.000 He really is the party guy.

00:43:12.000 Oh, yeah, he's the machine.

00:43:14.000 I think for a while I was like, that's your act.

00:43:17.000 Like, I'm your friend, but that's your act.

00:43:20.000 And then, you know, enough hanging out, you're like, that's really who you are, man.

00:43:23.000 You're really the party guy.

00:43:25.000 He enjoys it.

00:43:26.000 Yeah.

00:43:27.000 But it's so...

00:43:28.000 Rough on your body.

00:43:30.000 I don't know.

00:43:31.000 He pushes through, man.

00:43:32.000 It's amazing.

00:43:33.000 He gets up the next day and was like, he'll be like, I'm really feeling it.

00:43:36.000 But you're like, you don't notice.

00:43:38.000 Right.

00:43:38.000 You know what I did when we went out to breakfast on, what was it, Monday?

00:43:43.000 I think it was Monday.

00:43:45.000 Yeah, we went to breakfast the day of the game.

00:43:48.000 And my friend Justin lives in Atlanta, comes over, picks us up.

00:43:56.000 We sit down at this breakfast place, coffees, and we order breakfast.

00:44:01.000 He orders eggs and toast and bacon or something.

00:44:05.000 And then he's like, all right.

00:44:06.000 And then as the waitress walks back, I go, oh, oh, oh, could you send him a waffle also?

00:44:11.000 Like in front of him, you know, and he's like, What?

00:44:13.000 And I go, you like waffles.

00:44:15.000 And he's like, yeah, that's true.

00:44:18.000 She's like, this massive waffle.

00:44:20.000 He's like, this was a really good decision.

00:44:22.000 Thanks, man.

00:44:24.000 Totally tearing it up.

00:44:26.000 Scarfing.

00:44:26.000 Yeah.

00:44:27.000 Yeah.

00:44:27.000 I know he wants to do another challenge.

00:44:29.000 He was talking about doing something.

00:44:31.000 He keeps bringing things up and he makes these videos.

00:44:34.000 Ari threw one at us. 1.00

00:44:35.000 Yeah?

00:44:36.000 Yeah.

00:44:37.000 Which I think actually would probably, again, it's something that would benefit everybody.

00:44:56.000 Yeah.

00:44:58.000 Yeah.

00:44:59.000 Yeah.

00:45:00.000 Yeah.

00:45:06.000 Ari talked about.

00:45:07.000 And then, of course, Burr was like, easy.

00:45:08.000 I'm like, it's not easy for you.

00:45:09.000 You're on it.

00:45:09.000 He brings his charger with him when we went out.

00:45:12.000 I was like, why?

00:45:13.000 He's like, in case my battery runs out.

00:45:14.000 I'm like, you have 70%.

00:45:16.000 How are we going to run out?

00:45:17.000 He uses it a lot.

00:45:18.000 He's always on it.

00:45:19.000 So I was like, that's actually a good challenge for you because you are consumed with it.

00:45:24.000 But he was like, I don't know.

00:45:26.000 He was pretty hesitant to accept that one.

00:45:27.000 The problem with that is it's a tool for work.

00:45:30.000 That's But Ari's thing was like, well, you could have your assistant, the guy that helps produce your podcast, you could send him things and be like, hey, you gotta post these things.

00:45:39.000 You could post these promotions for my shows and blah, blah, blah, but you can't be on there consumed by likes and consumed by comments and that whole thing.

00:45:48.000 I don't know.

00:45:48.000 It was just...

00:45:50.000 It's not a bad idea.

00:45:52.000 It's not a bad challenge.

00:45:53.000 Good luck with it.

00:45:54.000 I'm out.

00:45:55.000 Yeah.

00:45:56.000 I don't know.

00:45:57.000 I mean, I think the physical stuff is really, really interesting.

00:46:01.000 Yeah.

00:46:01.000 The physical stuff is the most interesting.

00:46:03.000 Even for me, a guy who does yoga on a regular basis, doing 15 of them in a month, was like, wow, I've got a lot to make up.

00:46:09.000 What would be another good one?

00:46:11.000 I don't know, but let me tell you something.

00:46:12.000 The last nine days, I did nine days straight of yoga, and it wasn't the last nine days.

00:46:19.000 I had plenty of time to go, but I just decided to burn it all out in one shot.

00:46:23.000 I was like, I'm learning a lot about myself.

00:46:25.000 I've never done anything that's that hard, 90-minute hot yoga classes, nine days in a row, with no days off.

00:46:32.000 I was like, if you just don't give yourself a day off, your body starts to adapt to not having a day off.

00:46:38.000 You can accomplish way more than you think you can. 0.99

00:46:40.000 That's what that shit taught me. 1.00

00:46:41.000 I remember being on the road once and having a deadline for a writing packet. 1.00

00:46:48.000 It was some type of submission or they were like, I was getting paid.

00:46:51.000 You gotta send it in by tomorrow.

00:46:54.000 I was doing so much writing in the hotel room that when I submitted it and everything was fine, I was like, Man, I could get a lot of work done in these hotel rooms.

00:47:04.000 But I needed that experience to tell me that.

00:47:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:07.000 Because all the time I'm like, you're just sitting around these fucking hotel rooms. 1.00

00:47:09.000 Right. 1.00

00:47:10.000 You're just watching TV, flipping through the channels. 0.99

00:47:12.000 Yeah, not doing shit. 1.00

00:47:13.000 Watching those fucking pawn shop shows. 1.00

00:47:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:15.000 And you're like, I just wrote fucking 20 pages. 1.00

00:47:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:47:19.000 Yeah.

00:47:19.000 Yeah, if you just make yourself do it.

00:47:22.000 For me, I don't have to, but one thing that does help is when I have a schedule of shit that I wrote down. 0.80

00:47:30.000 I have to work on my act for an hour a day for five days. 0.96

00:47:36.000 You put that in there.

00:47:38.000 I think that's really reasonable.

00:47:42.000 I give myself five hours of writing a week.

00:47:45.000 That's totally reasonable.

00:47:46.000 I have to.

00:47:46.000 It's light.

00:47:47.000 It's light work.

00:47:48.000 I've been working on it more since I know my special comes out tomorrow. 1.00

00:47:52.000 Oh, shit, Tommy Buns. 1.00

00:47:53.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:47:53.000 Netflix special number three in the pipe, bitch. 1.00

00:47:56.000 Yeah, dog. 1.00

00:47:58.000 Yeah, I'm excited.

00:47:59.000 Hot and fresh coming out the oven.

00:48:01.000 I'm excited for it, but I also have that new special anxiety where you're like, oh, it's back to square one.

00:48:09.000 But that's where the material comes from, right?

00:48:11.000 Totally.

00:48:11.000 Yeah, of course.

00:48:12.000 And I actually, I personally, I don't know if everyone works this way, I definitely...

00:48:19.000 Work better when it's 100% out.

00:48:23.000 In other words, not like the month, you know it's coming out in two months.

00:48:27.000 When it's actually out, I feel the fear and the drive more.

00:48:31.000 I create more when I know it's gone now.

00:48:36.000 It really fuels me.

00:48:38.000 Me too.

00:48:39.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:48:39.000 Same thing, but it's the scariest fucking thing in the world. 0.99

00:48:42.000 It's terrifying. 0.99

00:48:42.000 For your act. 0.99

00:48:43.000 Yeah.

00:48:43.000 Not the scariest thing in the world.

00:48:44.000 Yeah.

00:48:45.000 It's scary because you're so terrified of being up on stage with what I call without weapons.

00:48:51.000 Yeah.

00:48:51.000 Nothing.

00:48:51.000 Yeah.

00:48:52.000 So you have to really focus on getting that shit done. 0.99

00:48:56.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:48:56.000 And then I find myself going to the store with notebooks. 0.99

00:48:59.000 I'm going over the shit before I go on stage. 0.98

00:49:01.000 Same thing, man. 0.99

00:49:01.000 You're just really tightened in. 0.99

00:49:03.000 Yeah, I'm doing a couple spots tonight. 0.99

00:49:05.000 I'm just like, yeah, I have like all new shit. 0.95

00:49:07.000 You have one hour. 0.99

00:49:08.000 Yeah.

00:49:09.000 I mean, you literally have like one day.

00:49:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:12.000 And then in one day, better have all new shit. 1.00

00:49:16.000 Tonight you can go up and just whip out some polished, smooth, fucking sharpened weapons. 0.99

00:49:23.000 Well, I actually thought about it, and it's like, you know, I have been for the last especially... 0.99

00:49:29.000 Month or so, really focused on the new stuff.

00:49:32.000 And I go, so tonight's the last night.

00:49:34.000 Do I want to say that thing one last time?

00:49:39.000 And I was looking over the bits, and I was like, not really.

00:49:42.000 I think I'm done, you know?

00:49:44.000 Yeah.

00:49:44.000 So I'm trying to focus on just all new now.

00:49:47.000 Well, we're being forced into this position for a good thing because you have fans, because the fans want to hear new stuff.

00:49:55.000 And it just makes me think about that I always used to pity those old guys back in Boston that never wrote.

00:50:02.000 That they had that same hour that they would do for a decade.

00:50:05.000 That's just so nuts to me.

00:50:06.000 It's crazy to think about now.

00:50:08.000 Because back then, there was no social media, and none of these guys got on television.

00:50:13.000 So if you didn't go to see them live, you did not know their material.

00:50:17.000 Yeah.

00:50:18.000 Yeah.

00:50:19.000 That's really wild.

00:50:20.000 It's crazy to think that that was the norm, and that guys would polish an act together and put it together, and then they would just work, and they would never write. 0.99

00:50:27.000 They would fucking never write. 0.99

00:50:28.000 I feel like the norm now, without question, I feel like it was kind of debated for a little bit, is definitely when a special comes out, like, that shit is gone. 1.00

00:50:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:38.000 I feel like that's accepted now that, like, you're done with that.

00:50:40.000 Totally.

00:50:40.000 Well, I had a conversation with someone at the store a year ago, because she did a special, and then after the special she was still doing the same material.

00:50:48.000 I go, what are you doing?

00:50:50.000 She goes, well, I don't think most of the people have seen it.

00:50:52.000 I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:50:54.000 I go, I guarantee you, if they're coming to see you, they're paying to see you, they've seen your work.

00:50:59.000 Yeah.

00:51:00.000 She's like, why don't I have any new material? 0.99

00:51:01.000 Well, why the fuck are you touring? 0.98

00:51:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:04.000 Like, you can't be touring.

00:51:05.000 No.

00:51:06.000 With the same exact act that was on Comedy Central just six months ago.

00:51:10.000 You can't.

00:51:10.000 No.

00:51:11.000 Yeah.

00:51:12.000 No.

00:51:13.000 Especially.

00:51:14.000 People are paying.

00:51:15.000 You know, they...

00:51:16.000 It is weird in that you will...

00:51:18.000 I ran into it...

00:51:20.000 A bunch of times, but it's definitely the minority, which is the person who's like, why didn't you do that one bit?

00:51:25.000 Right.

00:51:25.000 And you're like, because you know it.

00:51:27.000 Go watch that on Netflix.

00:51:28.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 I don't know if I told you, but I did one.

00:51:32.000 People were asking me to do some bits when I was touring.

00:51:37.000 I think it was not 2017, but 2016. They were like, do...

00:51:42.000 Are you going to do this bit and that bit?

00:51:43.000 So I was just doing one show at a club, and I was like, I'm going to try this thing out, this encore thing.

00:51:48.000 So I did my new show, and then I said, so people asked me to do some bits that you know, or whatever.

00:51:57.000 I forgot how I got into it.

00:51:58.000 And I got this huge round of applause, and then I would start it, and there would be like a big, big applause.

00:52:05.000 I would go through the bit to complete silence, like...

00:52:10.000 They would just watch me do the bit they know, and then when I would end it, another round of applause.

00:52:14.000 I was like, that was horrible!

00:52:15.000 Like, that was the worst feeling ever.

00:52:18.000 And the reason, because there was no laugh, because there was no surprise.

00:52:21.000 Right, they knew it!

00:52:22.000 Yeah, of course, they knew the whole thing.

00:52:24.000 Yeah.

00:52:24.000 And I did, like, the next bit, and I was like, you might, you know, whatever, know this one.

00:52:28.000 And it was the same thing.

00:52:29.000 They're like, oh, yeah, we do know this one.

00:52:31.000 And then I'd go through it, and they were like, yeah, I know.

00:52:33.000 Oh, that's the worst!

00:52:35.000 That was horrible.

00:52:35.000 That was my one attempt at doing that, you know?

00:52:38.000 Yeah, I don't even know how to do them.

00:52:41.000 Yeah, no.

00:52:42.000 And then people were like, I forget the next line.

00:52:45.000 They're like, it's this.

00:52:46.000 People knew the bit better than I did.

00:52:48.000 Yeah, somebody asked me something about the bit about people breaking into the White House, about the woman who was guarding the front door of the White House by herself.

00:52:59.000 That's on your last one, right?

00:53:00.000 And I had to go back and watch it again.

00:53:02.000 I was like, oh, I forgot all this.

00:53:04.000 I literally forgot how it worked.

00:53:07.000 I forgot all the different beats.

00:53:09.000 And in a day, it's not going to come together well.

00:53:13.000 No!

00:53:14.000 It's going to be terrible.

00:53:15.000 I did a private event in Vegas for these rich guys.

00:53:19.000 And I was like, just, I flew in and I was talking to them like five hours before the show.

00:53:24.000 And I was like, just so you know, I mean, like, I'm doing my current show.

00:53:29.000 And they're like, oh, we were hoping you'd do this, this, this, and this, though.

00:53:32.000 And I was like, alright.

00:53:33.000 So I went up to my hotel room, pulled up Netflix, started watching...

00:53:38.000 And making notes and then I downloaded the album so I could listen to it and I would walk around and I was like forgetting the thing that you think is a throwaway is actually like a connector.

00:53:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:51.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:53:52.000 And I was doing like half-assed versions of it at the show. 1.00

00:53:55.000 Wow!

00:53:56.000 They were still like on board with it, but I was like that's not how that goes. 0.97

00:54:00.000 I knew I was fucking it up.

00:54:02.000 How many specials do you have out now? 0.59

00:54:04.000 You have Thrilled, which was a CD. Well, that's a CD. And then White Girls. 1.00

00:54:09.000 White Girls, CD. So two hours there. 1.00

00:54:13.000 Yeah, completely normal.

00:54:14.000 Completely normal.

00:54:15.000 Which is a special.

00:54:16.000 Mostly stories.

00:54:17.000 A special and disgraceful comes out tomorrow. 1.00

00:54:19.000 So five hours of recorded shit. 1.00

00:54:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:54:23.000 Like, stop and imagine that if you had to, like, do your whole catalog.

00:54:28.000 Like a Bruce Springsteen concert.

00:54:30.000 Yeah.

00:54:31.000 You know?

00:54:32.000 I mean, the thing about like a Bruce Springsteen or any of those guys is that on any given night, you could bring back that one and really get it sharp again for like five nights.

00:54:40.000 Yeah.

00:54:40.000 And then kind of drop it and then do it.

00:54:41.000 You know what I mean?

00:54:42.000 Yeah.

00:54:42.000 We go like, that's old.

00:54:44.000 I don't do that.

00:54:45.000 Yeah.

00:54:45.000 And it just goes further and further away from your mind.

00:54:48.000 But they have to. 1.00

00:54:50.000 If you go to see Bruce Springsteen and he doesn't play Born to Run, you're like, what the fuck kind of piece of shit show is this? 1.00

00:54:57.000 I wonder. 1.00

00:54:58.000 I wonder because I feel like the...

00:55:00.000 Then again, though, he's famous for doing like four-hour shows.

00:55:03.000 Yeah.

00:55:04.000 So maybe he never does skip it because... 0.99

00:55:06.000 How the fuck does that guy have so much energy? 0.98

00:55:08.000 I know. 1.00

00:55:10.000 I mean, he's on those Trump diet pills.

00:55:11.000 He's gotta be.

00:55:12.000 He definitely looks tired in every photo.

00:55:15.000 Of course.

00:55:15.000 He's married.

00:55:16.000 He's married.

00:55:17.000 He's doing four-hour shows.

00:55:18.000 He's always like...

00:55:19.000 He just doesn't know, like, should I just bail on all this?

00:55:22.000 God.

00:55:23.000 God.

00:55:24.000 Incredible.

00:55:25.000 This is the inside story about Bruce Springsteen and his concerts is always that people get bummed out when his wife is there.

00:55:34.000 They like Bruce without his wife there better than they like Bruce with his wife there.

00:55:38.000 A friend of mine- Like his energy changes?

00:55:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:55:41.000 Her friend is a crazy Bruce Springsteen fan.

00:55:44.000 She goes to tons and tons of concerts.

00:55:47.000 Sees them every year.

00:55:48.000 Multiple times a year all over the country.

00:55:50.000 That's so crazy.

00:55:51.000 And the people that are super hardcore say there's a different energy that he has.

00:55:56.000 Wow.

00:55:57.000 They're like, oh, the wife's sick. 0.99

00:55:57.000 The wife's sick. 0.99

00:55:58.000 Is she sick?

00:55:59.000 She's not here?

00:56:00.000 Yes! 0.99

00:56:00.000 Like they get fucking pumped when the wife's not there. 0.99

00:56:03.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

00:56:04.000 Because he sings with his wife.

00:56:05.000 Right.

00:56:06.000 His wife's a part of the band.

00:56:07.000 Right.

00:56:08.000 She does what? 1.00

00:56:08.000 The tambourine or something like that? 1.00

00:56:10.000 Yeah, that's important. 0.99

00:56:13.000 None of this shit works without that tambourine. 0.99

00:56:15.000 Without that tambourine. 1.00

00:56:16.000 This fucking show's bunk. 1.00

00:56:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:19.000 I don't know, man.

00:56:19.000 I can't imagine touring and working with your wife all the time.

00:56:24.000 My wife and I, we always talk about how it's really unique we can do our podcast together and we have fun doing it.

00:56:30.000 But she leads this.

00:56:33.000 It's not like a guy thing when someone will be like, Hey, do you guys ever tour together? 1.00

00:56:37.000 And she's like, that's gay as fuck. 1.00

00:56:39.000 She's like, I don't know. 1.00

00:56:40.000 We're two different people.

00:56:41.000 We do our own show.

00:56:43.000 Like, no.

00:56:44.000 It's like, not gonna happen.

00:56:45.000 Well, you guys are in a rare situation, too, where you're both really good.

00:56:49.000 It's usually one of you's really good, and the other one is like...

00:56:53.000 No, not bad.

00:56:55.000 Not too bad.

00:56:58.000 I can't wait, man.

00:57:00.000 She's selling tickets, adding shows.

00:57:02.000 She's balling. 0.99

00:57:03.000 Give me that money.

00:57:04.000 Give me that money.

00:57:05.000 Now you give me money.

00:57:06.000 Now you give me money. 1.00

00:57:07.000 You buy me shit. 1.00

00:57:10.000 I'm excited for her. 1.00

00:57:11.000 I think she's one of the best comics in the country. 0.91

00:57:13.000 She's awesome, man.

00:57:13.000 She really is.

00:57:14.000 Christina Pazitsky.

00:57:16.000 Don't sleep on her.

00:57:17.000 I remember saying that to her one night four or five years ago at the store. 1.00

00:57:22.000 Fucking crushed in the OR. And I came up to her and said, no bullshit, you're one of the best comics alive. 0.99

00:57:29.000 That set that you just did right now, it's not just funny, but it's insightful. 0.88

00:57:35.000 She's smart. 0.97

00:57:36.000 She points out shit that other people aren't pointing out. 0.99

00:57:38.000 She's a real writer, too. 1.00

00:57:39.000 Yeah.

00:57:40.000 Writes a lot.

00:57:41.000 How does she write?

00:57:42.000 Does she sit in front of a computer? 1.00

00:57:44.000 Pen and paper, and then a computer, and then a pen and paper.

00:57:47.000 But yeah, a lot of notes.

00:57:48.000 A lot of writing.

00:57:49.000 A lot of actual, like you're talking about spending that time working on it?

00:57:52.000 She spends a lot of time.

00:57:53.000 You gotta do, you know, that's the difference between someone who produces a lot of material and someone who doesn't.

00:57:59.000 Like, I've had these conversations with people before with like, oh, I only write on stage.

00:58:03.000 I was like, alright.

00:58:05.000 Yeah.

00:58:05.000 Why?

00:58:06.000 Is that because it's the only way it works?

00:58:08.000 Or is it because you're lazy and this is how you justify it?

00:58:11.000 It's probably more that.

00:58:12.000 More that.

00:58:13.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:58:14.000 That I write on stage stuff.

00:58:16.000 It's like, well, I do too.

00:58:17.000 Yeah.

00:58:18.000 I write on stage stuff.

00:58:19.000 But don't, like, they give it out as, the thing that drives me crazy is I see them giving it out as advice to other young comics.

00:58:26.000 Oh, right.

00:58:26.000 Like, don't write on paper, dude.

00:58:27.000 Just write on stage.

00:58:28.000 Yeah, I write on stage, man.

00:58:29.000 That's what I do.

00:58:30.000 Like, okay.

00:58:31.000 Right, but is that the only way?

00:58:33.000 And is it the best way?

00:58:34.000 And isn't it possible that you're missing some stuff?

00:58:37.000 I think what happened was, too, was when Louis got really, really popular, and he was just like, I never write anything down, that became folklore and attractive to comics.

00:58:50.000 I feel like, oh, I gotta do that.

00:58:51.000 Is that what he said?

00:58:52.000 He never writes anything down?

00:58:53.000 Yeah, doesn't even write down bullet points.

00:58:55.000 Really?

00:58:56.000 Yeah, just all in his head.

00:58:57.000 So then people are like, I started to hear that more when his fame really exploded and that was a big thing. 0.99

00:59:07.000 I was like, you don't even write shit down? 0.98

00:59:09.000 They're like, no. 0.99

00:59:10.000 Well, I guess if you're doing stand-up every night, three or four nights a week, Or three or four times a night.

00:59:18.000 You're doing those New York sets and you're constantly working.

00:59:22.000 It's constantly in your head.

00:59:23.000 You can get away with that.

00:59:25.000 I guess you could, but I always liked having at least a bullet point list.

00:59:32.000 Even when I wasn't writing anything long form down, I still like to have that, oh, what can I... Just to see it all.

00:59:40.000 See how the...

00:59:42.000 You know, how the movie plays out.

00:59:44.000 And I'm like, well, I should move this over here and this should be over here.

00:59:46.000 I couldn't imagine not having any of that written down.

00:59:49.000 But I just think that the more time you spend focusing on it, whether it's the more time you spend just writing stuff down or looking at bullet points or just the more intention you put on things, more attention, the more focus.

01:00:02.000 Definitely, man.

01:00:03.000 It's going to be better.

01:00:05.000 You're going to know it better.

01:00:06.000 It's like getting good at anything.

01:00:08.000 Yeah.

01:00:08.000 You know, you put a lot of time into it.

01:00:10.000 It's going to happen for you.

01:00:11.000 Yeah, comedy writing, though, is one of the weirdest ones because everybody does it a different way.

01:00:16.000 Everybody's got their own weird sort of style and...

01:00:20.000 No one can tell you exactly how to do it.

01:00:22.000 You could never tell Theo Vaughn how to write a joke.

01:00:26.000 Right, no.

01:00:27.000 Especially him.

01:00:28.000 His act's so odd.

01:00:29.000 Yeah.

01:00:29.000 You know?

01:00:30.000 I know.

01:00:30.000 And then you mispronounce things, but it's disguised so well.

01:00:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:38.000 It's shit like that, where you're just like, how do you come up with that? 0.99

01:00:42.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:42.000 Was it an accident the first time? 0.99

01:00:44.000 Yeah.

01:00:45.000 And then I remember Carlin, he would write on note cards.

01:00:50.000 Did he? 0.99

01:00:50.000 He'd go on stage with note cards and clubs, and then kind of shuffle through them, and be like, that's shit, and throw it on the ground. 0.99

01:00:58.000 And then... 0.98

01:01:00.000 I saw him in one of his last tours, that Universal Amphitheater.

01:01:05.000 And he, for like his last...

01:01:08.000 Because he called them like individual pieces.

01:01:10.000 Like his bits were...

01:01:11.000 It was really heavily about the writing.

01:01:14.000 Yeah.

01:01:14.000 Like the specific wordplay, the flow, you know, rhythm, patterns.

01:01:21.000 His comedy was very melodic like that.

01:01:23.000 And when it got like...

01:01:24.000 When it was like one of his closing pieces, it was...

01:01:28.000 Like, five pages?

01:01:30.000 He brought out the pages.

01:01:32.000 And he's like, I'm gonna read this because that's how I memorize it.

01:01:35.000 He's like, I memorize it by doing these shows and reading this.

01:01:39.000 So just so you know, for this thing, I'm gonna look at this.

01:01:42.000 Like, he told 6,000 people that.

01:01:44.000 Wow.

01:01:44.000 And then he would, you know, ba-da-da-da-da, and then flip the page.

01:01:47.000 And he's like...

01:01:48.000 How was it?

01:01:49.000 It was funny, man.

01:01:50.000 It was great.

01:01:51.000 It was like the second-to-last special.

01:01:53.000 And I remember the...

01:01:54.000 Like, it was a really well-constructed piece of writing.

01:01:59.000 It was a little...

01:01:59.000 It threw you off a little bit to have him be reading it, you know?

01:02:03.000 But he...

01:02:04.000 I would say when I saw the show, that piece was probably at least half committed to memory, and he was still trying to, like, you know, repeat, repeat, repeat so that it would be in his memory.

01:02:15.000 But it was still really funny.

01:02:16.000 It was still really funny.

01:02:17.000 Well, he was also...

01:02:19.000 How old was he?

01:02:20.000 Probably 69, 70. I think he died at 70. Did he?

01:02:24.000 Yeah.

01:02:25.000 He looked older because he went hard in the paint, too.

01:02:29.000 Yeah, the drug use.

01:02:31.000 Yeah, but he was 70. He apparently had a pain pill problem for a while.

01:02:35.000 I remember there was a time when he committed himself to rehab.

01:02:42.000 And I think it was wine and pills.

01:02:45.000 He was taking pain pills. 1.00

01:02:47.000 Those goddamn opiates, man. 1.00

01:02:48.000 They get people. 1.00

01:02:49.000 Ooh, they get you.

01:02:51.000 Ooh, they get you.

01:02:52.000 Yeah.

01:02:53.000 But you got to think that your memory must eventually, at some point in time, start to give out.

01:02:59.000 Yeah.

01:02:59.000 When you're doing these long monologues like he would do.

01:03:02.000 Oh, my God.

01:03:02.000 Yeah, he'd do long, long monologues, yeah.

01:03:04.000 Yeah, he would write out his whole act, like the whole hour, and then just start doing it.

01:03:11.000 Mm-hmm.

01:03:12.000 They do a new one every year.

01:03:14.000 It's like reading a book almost.

01:03:16.000 I think he said 16 months was his turnaround.

01:03:18.000 That's what it was?

01:03:18.000 Yeah.

01:03:20.000 Every year.

01:03:21.000 He ended up doing 14, I think, specials.

01:03:24.000 That's crazy.

01:03:25.000 Yeah.

01:03:26.000 What are you up to now?

01:03:27.000 You have quite a few.

01:03:30.000 Like if you combine albums and specials?

01:03:34.000 One.

01:03:36.000 Two.

01:03:37.000 Three.

01:03:39.000 Four.

01:03:43.000 Five.

01:03:43.000 Six.

01:03:45.000 Seven.

01:03:47.000 I'm on my eighth.

01:03:48.000 It's a lot.

01:03:49.000 It's a lot.

01:03:51.000 You're gonna catch them.

01:03:53.000 Number eight's coming up?

01:03:55.000 Yeah.

01:03:55.000 Do you know where you're shooting it yet?

01:03:57.000 Boston.

01:03:57.000 Oh, you are doing it in Boston?

01:03:58.000 Yeah.

01:03:59.000 Unless I just change my mind.

01:04:01.000 Oh.

01:04:01.000 Ooh, sorry, Boston.

01:04:02.000 Would it be at the Wilbur?

01:04:03.000 Yeah.

01:04:04.000 I have one other idea in mind that I'm still bouncing around in my head.

01:04:09.000 Do it at my house.

01:04:10.000 I'm thinking about that.

01:04:11.000 Really?

01:04:11.000 Yeah.

01:04:12.000 That'd be great.

01:04:12.000 In your kid's room while he's sleeping.

01:04:14.000 That's awesome, man.

01:04:15.000 That'd be a hit for sure.

01:04:18.000 What did you think of Chappelle's two specials?

01:04:21.000 I thought it was really interesting to see him do this big polished special in a big place and then do the little special in the belly room.

01:04:30.000 I was like, the belly room felt weird, man.

01:04:34.000 Personally, my take on it is the belly room, we're in the practice of calling that a special, but it's really not a special, in my opinion.

01:04:44.000 What you're seeing is what...

01:04:48.000 Definitely in Los Angeles, if you live in San Francisco, Denver, New York, places he likes to frequent, is what you see Dave Chappelle known for in these cities, which is he would drop into clubs and Spill out everything that's on his mind.

01:05:06.000 So, I mean, I don't know if it's more like semantics, but it's like, it's not as special.

01:05:11.000 To me, it's like you're seeing one of the best guys ever do a workout set.

01:05:16.000 Like, do a loose workout It's only been six, seven weeks since the special was shot that plays before it, in which he toured for a year with that.

01:05:28.000 You can see how polished and you know what I mean?

01:05:30.000 So I think it's really cool if you're a big stand-up nerd to see the other one. 0.99

01:05:35.000 That's what happens A lot in those cities that he'll just fly into and be like, here's shit that's on my mind. 0.98

01:05:42.000 Right. 0.98

01:05:43.000 So you're seeing, like, it's masterful, but I think it's, like, I don't call, I think of it as separate than a special, you know?

01:05:53.000 Because a special to me is, like, you tour, you prepare, and then, like, you present it.

01:06:00.000 Right.

01:06:01.000 I mean, I understand that you could be like, well, yeah, it's a separate thing, it's a special, but I'm saying that within that, there's something really specific going on, which is like, this is like in the moment, Almost all topical commentary,

01:06:17.000 and that's how that dude works.

01:06:20.000 He will walk into a club and be like, I want to get on stage and just talk about...

01:06:26.000 He loves topical stuff, so it fits perfectly.

01:06:29.000 But it's very different.

01:06:32.000 You can see the total difference, the contrast, especially if you watch one after the other.

01:06:38.000 You're watching... 0.99

01:06:40.000 Toward proven like worked out stuff and like Here's some shit. 0.97

01:06:45.000 I thought of basically in the last week right right right, but a whole hour of it, which is really crazy. 0.68

01:06:50.000 Yeah, he's so prolific Yeah, and The way it worked was doing the two of them together.

01:06:59.000 That way you got to see the big polish special, and then you got to see the fuck-around workout set. 1.00

01:07:03.000 So it's like if you watch the big polish special, you're like, I need more. 1.00

01:07:06.000 Yeah.

01:07:07.000 It's really interesting to see, I think, just to hear people go back and forth on which they liked more.

01:07:13.000 I thought that was really interesting.

01:07:14.000 I've seen a bunch of people, at least online, all say they like the belly room.

01:07:19.000 Well, the belly room was so intimate.

01:07:21.000 Yeah.

01:07:21.000 To be in that room.

01:07:22.000 I was there for one of those shows.

01:07:24.000 It's so interesting to be there when you're watching someone film in front of 70 people.

01:07:30.000 Yeah.

01:07:31.000 It's so tight and small, you know?

01:07:33.000 You're kind of naked a little bit, you know?

01:07:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:35.000 And the people in the audience, they were fucking on the show. 0.99

01:07:40.000 I mean, the people that got those front row seats, they were featured prominently in that Netflix special. 0.99

01:07:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:07:46.000 Yeah.

01:07:47.000 It kind of makes you entertain the idea of a really small special, what that would be like.

01:07:51.000 Yeah, there's different kinds of comedy, right?

01:07:55.000 The comedy that you do for 70 people is just not exactly the same as the comedy that you do for 700 or 7,000.

01:08:02.000 And the way you present it.

01:08:04.000 I mean, he basically sat for most of that.

01:08:07.000 Yeah.

01:08:07.000 So that's different, you know?

01:08:09.000 I mean, usually, if you're in a big 2,500-seater, you're not going to, like, chill, sit on a bench.

01:08:14.000 Unless you're Mark Maron.

01:08:15.000 Mark?

01:08:16.000 Yeah.

01:08:16.000 Or Cosby, old-school Cosby.

01:08:18.000 Yeah.

01:08:19.000 Yeah, he was always sitting.

01:08:21.000 Even as he got old.

01:08:22.000 Yeah.

01:08:23.000 And Cosby did it. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Not just old-school Cosby, but old, old Cosby.

01:08:26.000 Yeah, old, old Cosby.

01:08:27.000 You're right.

01:08:28.000 Do you think Cosby will tour again?

01:08:29.000 No.

01:08:30.000 No, I think that's done.

01:08:31.000 It's over?

01:08:32.000 Yeah.

01:08:32.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:08:34.000 Well, I remember when he was touring.

01:08:35.000 There's a lot of promoters.

01:08:37.000 I think it's not worth the trouble.

01:08:41.000 Really?

01:08:42.000 I think so.

01:08:43.000 Yeah.

01:08:43.000 I think Louis will tour again.

01:08:45.000 You think so?

01:08:45.000 Mm-hmm.

01:08:46.000 Yeah.

01:08:48.000 Yeah, I think so too.

01:08:49.000 Yeah.

01:08:50.000 Yeah, I think he'll take like a year off.

01:08:52.000 Yeah.

01:08:52.000 And then he'll do some shows and people get mad.

01:08:55.000 And then it'd be, yeah.

01:08:57.000 And then, like, if...

01:08:57.000 You know, the real thing is, like, the corporate side of it.

01:08:59.000 Like, in other words, channel or network that would want to, let's say, host, show the special.

01:09:07.000 But he has such a dedicated...

01:09:09.000 No one's...

01:09:11.000 Website following is what he ended up developing.

01:09:14.000 He sold shows and made millions when people were doing the download my special thing.

01:09:21.000 I think he could book a venue, shoot something, and go back to his $5 model and do really well.

01:09:29.000 No, I'm sure he could.

01:09:30.000 And people would be really interested to see it.

01:09:32.000 Of course.

01:09:33.000 But I think Netflix would have him on.

01:09:34.000 They still have his old stuff.

01:09:36.000 I watched his old stuff.

01:09:37.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:09:38.000 I was on a flight right after all of it went down.

01:09:42.000 I watched the special from DC, which I thought was really interesting to watch it knowing...

01:09:48.000 The DC one?

01:09:49.000 Is that the latest one?

01:09:50.000 The latest one.

01:09:50.000 Oh, okay.

01:09:51.000 2017. But just to know that...

01:09:54.000 It was, like, right around the corner that he was going to get busted.

01:09:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:57.000 Beating off in front of people.

01:09:59.000 It's a weird thing to get caught doing, too.

01:10:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:02.000 So, like, out of all the things that people have done that they got caught doing, all the rape accusations and all the horrible shit, like, his is the most pathetic and also kind of the most innocuous. 0.99

01:10:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:14.000 It's just humiliating.

01:10:16.000 Just beating off in front of people.

01:10:17.000 I know.

01:10:18.000 It's like his kink. 0.88

01:10:19.000 It's what he likes.

01:10:20.000 But it could be way worse, you know, like, what he actually did.

01:10:24.000 I'm not saying it's a good thing to do to people.

01:10:26.000 No, it's not.

01:10:26.000 Hey, watch me beat off.

01:10:27.000 Yeah.

01:10:28.000 But I know a bunch of people he did it to apparently laughed.

01:10:32.000 Yeah.

01:10:32.000 There's quite a few comics that I've talked to that know people that he did it to.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, I knew somebody that he did it to.

01:10:40.000 Yeah.

01:10:41.000 And what do you think?

01:10:41.000 Not happy.

01:10:48.000 But like, you know, I don't know, man.

01:10:51.000 It was like...

01:10:52.000 It's weird.

01:10:52.000 I knew it for a long time, that story.

01:10:54.000 Yeah.

01:10:55.000 I mean, I said it before.

01:10:57.000 I was like, I mean, I knew it, and then every other person I talked to in comedy knew it. 0.99

01:11:03.000 And we were all like, that's fucked up. 0.94

01:11:05.000 But also, I mean, this doesn't excuse it at all either, but there is something about... 0.90

01:11:11.000 Something, at least as you know, something somebody did a while ago.

01:11:16.000 Yeah.

01:11:16.000 So it's like, what am I supposed to do?

01:11:17.000 Bring this shit up to them? 1.00

01:11:19.000 Right. 1.00

01:11:19.000 You know, like... 1.00

01:11:20.000 How do you know?

01:11:21.000 But the other thing is, how do you even know that they did it?

01:11:23.000 Because one of the things that happened... 0.98

01:11:26.000 During the whole like did he do it or did he not do it thing before it came out was Someone had told me that it was bullshit and that what he had done is take some pictures with female comedians With his dick out just being silly and stupid and like and and then tell him please delete those pictures. 0.99

01:11:43.000 We're just having fun. 0.99

01:11:45.000 I don't want to get in trouble I mean, the story I heard was very specific and, like, you know, is basically one of the stories reported in the Times.

01:11:54.000 And I was like, I remember hearing that story and the person was not, you know, was pretty upset about it.

01:11:59.000 And then a lot of people heard the story.

01:12:01.000 Yeah.

01:12:01.000 And then...

01:12:02.000 I don't know, you know, another year would go by, and two years, and three years, and you're like, okay, I mean, that's bad, but, like, as far as my role in it, you know, as somebody who knows the story now, it was just one of those things where you'd be like, yeah, that's a fucked up story, you know? 0.91

01:12:15.000 I mean, it's not someone that, like, hey, you know, that guy, he fucking punched someone 15 years ago. 0.99

01:12:22.000 He's a real asshole, and you're like, that sucks, you know? 1.00

01:12:24.000 But 15 years ago is a long time, right? 1.00

01:12:26.000 I mean, kind of.

01:12:27.000 It's like, is there...

01:12:29.000 It's not to minimize the wrongdoing, but isn't there some part of the conversation about how people mature and become different people as they get older? 0.99

01:12:40.000 I'm sure a lot of people that are in their 50s and 60s, who are not celebrities, you'd be like, do you know that when this guy was 26, he did this fucking horrible, stupid thing or something? 0.99

01:12:50.000 You're like, Jesus. 0.99

01:12:52.000 But you're like, well, that was a long time ago now.

01:12:54.000 I mean, that was kind of...

01:12:55.000 At least that part of the conversation exists in this, right?

01:13:00.000 It's something really bad.

01:13:01.000 I mean, he's being punished, so we're not saying that it definitely has not been excused because he's being punished, but it's also old behavior.

01:13:10.000 Yeah, that's the Dustin Hoffman thing.

01:13:13.000 Dustin Hoffman, this is where it gets really strange, a lot of his stuff was 30 years ago.

01:13:19.000 Right. 0.99

01:13:19.000 It's like 1985 and shit. 0.99

01:13:22.000 I think part of the difference, too, between the Hoffman stuff and Louis, and maybe everybody else, is Louis' admission. 0.98

01:13:30.000 Right.

01:13:30.000 That's very different, because even the stuff I heard with Hoffman, he is definitely trying to justify...

01:13:38.000 Versions and the behavior and like that's what people did, you know?

01:13:41.000 Is that what he said?

01:13:42.000 Oh yeah, he's like you know on the set like you try to like get you know you have to break the tension or there's there's a monotony to it and so people would have these conversations and say so it's it's like he's trying to it appears he's trying to be less accountable for what he said yeah whereas Louie was like these stories are true right so it's I think all those things end up affecting how your Redemption goes because they're like somebody's like I did this shit I was wrong right and I 0.96

01:14:13.000 think in this country people love Punishment. 0.91

01:14:16.000 Like, are you punished for the thing you did?

01:14:18.000 We hate, like, somebody getting away with something, right?

01:14:21.000 So, part of him, I think, coming back will also be that people realize that he paid a price.

01:14:26.000 I mean, he lost deals, he lost shows, lost money. 0.99

01:14:30.000 Definitely lost a lot of fucking touring money. 0.98

01:14:32.000 I mean, that day is probably at least a $50 million day for him, you know, with everything together. 0.99

01:14:38.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:14:39.000 Yeah.

01:14:41.000 I mean, what a weird kink. 1.00

01:14:44.000 Jerk off in front of people, yeah.

01:14:46.000 I wonder how you develop it. 0.83

01:14:47.000 I mean, I guess I can imagine how you develop it.

01:14:49.000 Do you think that you could even do that? 0.99

01:14:51.000 Like, I was trying to think, could I even ask, hey, do you mind if I jerk off in front of you? 0.97

01:14:55.000 And then just get hard and actually, like... 0.98

01:14:57.000 Well, that's the thing.

01:14:58.000 I imagine he had to be leaking right before that, like, to come that fast.

01:15:03.000 It had to be something he's thinking about, like, all day, you know?

01:15:07.000 And, like, hanging out.

01:15:08.000 And then, like, hey, do you want to hang out?

01:15:10.000 Like, do you want to come back or whatever?

01:15:12.000 And, like, so as he's getting closer to doing it, I'm sure it's the only fuel that's on his mind, you know?

01:15:19.000 Wow.

01:15:20.000 So, like, if you ask me that, I'd be like, well, that's not my kink.

01:15:22.000 So you're like, hey, could you go from fully flaccid to come in front of these people?

01:15:26.000 I'd be like, I don't think so, man.

01:15:29.000 I don't think I could do that, no. 1.00

01:15:30.000 Kinks are fucked. 1.00

01:15:31.000 It's fucking weird, man. 1.00

01:15:33.000 Kinks are weird, you know? 1.00

01:15:35.000 Like, I had a friend, and him and his girlfriend used to tie each other up.

01:15:39.000 They'd tie each other both up.

01:15:41.000 Ball gags, the whole deal. 0.87

01:15:43.000 And he loved it.

01:15:44.000 He would talk about it with, like, great glee.

01:15:48.000 Yeah.

01:15:48.000 And I'd be like, why do you, like, tie each other up?

01:15:51.000 Like, what are you doing?

01:15:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:15:53.000 Ah, it's fucking great. 0.94

01:15:55.000 Like, it's just something about, like, trusting that person to put that rope in their mouth and, like, I wonder how many of those kinks develop later, like you realize it later, as opposed to the more common theory that everything's tied to childhood, 1.00

01:16:11.000 so that you must have been tied up or something as a kid once, and then you somehow relate that to sex.

01:16:17.000 But I wonder if you can be... 0.99

01:16:20.000 28 and be like, man, this tying thing is fucking awesome. 0.95

01:16:23.000 I guarantee you can. 0.98

01:16:24.000 If you just date one crazy person, like if you have one girl who's just a wild animal in the sack and she just wants to tie you up, you're like, alright, let's do it.

01:16:31.000 And she does it and you love it and it's amazing.

01:16:36.000 We need answers.

01:16:37.000 Where's Jim Norton when you need him, man?

01:16:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:16:39.000 He would go deep with this. 0.99

01:16:40.000 He gets all sweaty and shit, and his eyes start bugging out. 0.99

01:16:43.000 Yeah, he starts blinking. 0.99

01:16:44.000 Yeah.

01:16:45.000 Nobody embraces their kinks more than him, though. 1.00

01:16:47.000 I fucking admire that so much about him. 0.94

01:16:50.000 Yeah, everything. 0.98

01:16:51.000 Whether it's trannies or anything that he's experienced. 1.00

01:16:55.000 Hey, hey, hey. 0.82

01:16:55.000 Trans. 0.82

01:16:55.000 I'd say he says it. 0.82

01:16:56.000 He says tranny. 0.91

01:16:57.000 Oh, he does? 0.76

01:16:57.000 Yeah. 0.76

01:16:58.000 He definitely supports the industry.

01:17:01.000 The industry!

01:17:03.000 It's weird that you can't say tranny.

01:17:05.000 The tranny is somehow or another negative. 1.00

01:17:08.000 Yeah.

01:17:09.000 These are noises that we make.

01:17:11.000 I know. 0.98

01:17:11.000 Chappelle, that was the thing, he got a lot of shit on the old one, or the one from a year ago. 0.98

01:17:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:19.000 And so he brought up the topic, but he said trans people.

01:17:22.000 He was real specific on that part.

01:17:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:24.000 I guess in the last one he was like, fucking Chinese, man. 1.00

01:17:28.000 Well, there's certainly a lot of thought policing going on. 0.99

01:17:31.000 And there's language policing.

01:17:33.000 Yeah.

01:17:33.000 And we have to wonder, like, how much of that affects the way people actually feel.

01:17:42.000 And how much of it is just people trying to control the way people communicate.

01:17:47.000 And dictating the languages.

01:17:50.000 Because, like...

01:17:51.000 When you go to the far end of the spectrum, there's these new gender pronouns.

01:17:57.000 Yeah.

01:17:58.000 Zimzer.

01:17:59.000 Yeah, there's like 78 of them.

01:18:00.000 Yeah.

01:18:01.000 Which I think are utterly preposterous.

01:18:03.000 It's absurd.

01:18:04.000 Absurd.

01:18:04.000 It is absurd.

01:18:05.000 You're make-believing.

01:18:07.000 You make-believe language. 0.96

01:18:09.000 You're inventing all these new words.

01:18:11.000 And it's not like there's some universal agreement going on and everybody...

01:18:16.000 It's not like...

01:18:17.000 Remember when Miz was a thing? 1.00

01:18:19.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:20.000 There was Mrs. and Mr., but then there was Miss, and Mr. was married or Mr. was not married, and women were like, well, what the fuck? 1.00

01:18:31.000 How come we don't have one of those? 0.99

01:18:32.000 Yeah.

01:18:32.000 So they came up with Ms., but it never really stuck.

01:18:36.000 No.

01:18:36.000 Like, nobody uses Ms. No, it has to be like a real formal word.

01:18:40.000 You know, writing or something.

01:18:42.000 Even then, would you say Ms?

01:18:43.000 I guess they would.

01:18:44.000 Never.

01:18:45.000 In the writing, they might, you know, might write MS if it was like, I don't know, a piece of journalism or something to indicate the person's single status.

01:18:55.000 I never hear that.

01:18:56.000 Yeah, but you don't hear it spoken a lot.

01:18:58.000 No, but they were trying to push for it for a while.

01:19:00.000 Yeah.

01:19:01.000 And that was something that was like on the borderline of being accepted by the common vernacular.

01:19:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:08.000 Shit. 1.00

01:19:09.000 It is... 1.00

01:19:10.000 I also wonder, like, how many people are just professionally upset at shit that's said wrong, you know? 0.92

01:19:17.000 Like, they're just... 0.92

01:19:18.000 Their reaction to everything is like...

01:19:20.000 It's like their job...

01:19:22.000 Is to police and react.

01:19:24.000 Right. 0.99

01:19:24.000 You shouldn't fucking, no, no, no. 0.99

01:19:25.000 That's not okay. 0.99

01:19:26.000 It's like almost how academia exists today.

01:19:29.000 You see, like, the way that people are on campuses. 1.00

01:19:32.000 It's like fucking... 0.99

01:19:33.000 That is not a reflection of the real world. 1.00

01:19:35.000 No.

01:19:36.000 To consider everyone's feelings at all times.

01:19:38.000 Why? 0.99

01:19:39.000 That's not how shit works. 0.99

01:19:41.000 No. 0.99

01:19:42.000 No. 0.98

01:19:42.000 People get upset and get offended at things, that's fine, but that everyone should dial back everything they say to make sure everyone feels protected, that's not how shit works. 0.98

01:19:51.000 What's been really interesting, the last five days, there's been a battle going on in my Twitter mentions that I haven't dived into at all.

01:19:58.000 Really?

01:19:59.000 Yeah. 0.80

01:19:59.000 But lesbians have been going at it with transgender people in my Twitter mentions. 0.80

01:20:05.000 Oh, really?

01:20:05.000 And this is like long-going conversations.

01:20:07.000 They're going back and forth and remarkably civil.

01:20:11.000 But what's interesting is all these lesbians, one of the things they've been saying, I dive in every now and then and read some of it and go, what the f- this is crazy, I gotta get out of here. 1.00

01:20:21.000 Yeah.

01:20:22.000 But that lesbians were trying to say that a lot of the violence that happens in supposed lesbian relationships is actually transgender men to women, where they switched over and then they're beating up on their girlfriends.

01:20:38.000 Whoa. 0.80

01:20:39.000 And that they're bringing their masculine, toxic violence into the world of lesbianism, and they're not willing to be honest about it. 0.99

01:20:47.000 And there was this crazy debate going on back and forth.

01:20:51.000 This lady was citing statistics of how many... 1.00

01:20:54.000 I wonder how accurate that is.

01:20:55.000 I don't know.

01:20:56.000 How many women in... 1.00

01:20:57.000 Well, she was a lesbian, and she was pretty... 1.00

01:20:59.000 Not that you were... 1.00

01:21:00.000 A fucking expert 100% on facts if you're a lesbian. 1.00

01:21:03.000 Right. 1.00

01:21:04.000 But she was pretty adamant about the statistics.

01:21:05.000 She was a lesbian who had her lesbian stats straight. 1.00

01:21:08.000 Well, the other thing she was saying, lesbians like women, and that she doesn't know any lesbians that want to date a transgender woman, like someone who used to be a man and is now a woman.

01:21:21.000 She was like, that's not what we're attracted to.

01:21:22.000 We're attracted to actually women. 1.00

01:21:24.000 Wouldn't that kind of negate the argument?

01:21:26.000 Because if formerly male transgender women are beating up their lesbian girlfriends, then there are lesbians out there that are dating and attracted to these transgender women.

01:21:39.000 Yeah, that would get it muddy there, right?

01:21:42.000 Yeah, so if she's saying, like, we're not into that, it's like, well, your stats then don't back up your argument, because that's clearly what you're indicating.

01:21:48.000 You're saying that these transgender women that were formerly men are dating women and beating them up.

01:21:54.000 I think she was saying people she knows.

01:21:57.000 Oh, so like her friends.

01:21:58.000 So like Elizabeth and Sarah aren't into it, so that's supposed to...

01:22:02.000 But it's like, how else could you know?

01:22:03.000 I mean, you'd have to have, like, a poll.

01:22:04.000 Of course. 1.00

01:22:05.000 Like, how many of you gals out there are into eating pussy like eating fake pussy? 1.00

01:22:08.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:22:10.000 That's a wild stat to consider.

01:22:12.000 I never thought of that.

01:22:13.000 Yeah, and there was this going back and forth with lesbians versus transgender women, and then they started getting... 1.00

01:22:22.000 Some people started getting hostile. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Like, let's just cut the shit. 1.00

01:22:26.000 You have a Y chromosome. 1.00

01:22:27.000 You're a fucking man. 1.00

01:22:29.000 And then it was like, whoa. 1.00

01:22:30.000 And then there was a lot of that going on.

01:22:32.000 There was a lot of...

01:22:34.000 You want us to assume...

01:22:39.000 Not just assume.

01:22:40.000 You want us to just go along with the idea that you absolutely are of the wrong gender. 1.00

01:22:48.000 And there's no way that you could just be crazy. 0.88

01:22:50.000 There's no way you could actually have gender dysphoria. 0.89

01:22:53.000 There's no way you could actually have a mental illness.

01:22:55.000 It's impossible.

01:22:56.000 And that's one of the weird things about...

01:23:00.000 Any group, right? 0.96

01:23:02.000 You're going to have a certain amount of people that are mentally insane. 0.98

01:23:07.000 Any group. 0.98

01:23:08.000 Any group.

01:23:09.000 If you have a thousand people, there's a certain percentage of those people that are just going to be insane.

01:23:15.000 But when it comes to gender, we're supposed to ignore that.

01:23:19.000 We're never supposed to think like, oh...

01:23:21.000 You're out of your mind.

01:23:21.000 Yeah.

01:23:21.000 No, you're out of your mind.

01:23:23.000 Yeah. 0.62

01:23:24.000 No, you're definitely a woman born in a man's body. 1.00

01:23:27.000 Dude, I tell you, I support all the trans rights and everyone doing all this stuff.

01:23:31.000 The only thing that I ever go like, that doesn't seem right, is with athletics.

01:23:36.000 That's the only thing where I feel like, it's not that I don't feel like someone should be able to play any sport and compete, but when a dude transitions to becoming a woman, it's like, I play basketball now.

01:23:48.000 It's like, come on, man.

01:23:50.000 I get it.

01:23:51.000 You have the right to live your life and play, but You have all those skills that you developed as a man, and now you're playing against frailer, smaller, you know.

01:24:05.000 Yeah. 0.76

01:24:05.000 To say that you can't bring that up, that that's offensive, is ridiculous to me. 0.76

01:24:11.000 Well, especially when it comes to fighting. 1.00

01:24:13.000 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00

01:24:14.000 That was the big one. 1.00

01:24:15.000 And that was where I really understood how bizarre and how cult-like this ideology is.

01:24:25.000 I'd like to see you transition to a woman and fight women. 1.00

01:24:28.000 It'd be a lot of fun.

01:24:30.000 To have, what, 12 murder charges?

01:24:32.000 That would be the fun part?

01:24:34.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:24:35.000 No, of course not. 1.00

01:24:36.000 The bone structure is so different, and people that deny that are fucking crazy. 0.99

01:24:39.000 I know. 1.00

01:24:40.000 That is silly, man. 0.88

01:24:41.000 It's different. 0.95

01:24:42.000 What if I transition, whatever, anyone, a man, and there's powerlifting?

01:24:47.000 Well, people have done that, and they're winning and breaking all these records.

01:24:50.000 Of course they are.

01:24:50.000 And why are we not stopping being like, that doesn't, no.

01:24:55.000 Because we want to save people's feelings.

01:24:57.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:24:57.000 Silly. 0.99

01:24:58.000 And what's really fascinating is, in the process of being super progressive, you go towards the most maligned section of society, which is like transgender people. 1.00

01:25:13.000 And so everybody else Who also has been marginalized by society, like women, they get put in a less protected category than transgender women.

01:25:26.000 So a man becomes a more protected class of woman than a natural born woman herself. 0.96

01:25:34.000 That's very interesting.

01:25:36.000 That's crazy!

01:25:36.000 That is.

01:25:37.000 It's very true, also.

01:25:38.000 Yeah, it's crazy because all these women that got beaten up by that man who became a woman who started fighting in MMA fought two women before ever disclosing the fact that she used to be a man because she said it was a medical issue that had nothing to do with them,

01:25:54.000 which just shows you how completely insane the logic behind all this is.

01:25:59.000 Does she still fight? 0.94

01:26:01.000 She hasn't in a while.

01:26:03.000 But now everybody knows.

01:26:04.000 She lost to a woman.

01:26:06.000 She did?

01:26:06.000 Yeah, an actual woman who wound up...

01:26:09.000 Yeah, I said actual. 1.00

01:26:10.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:26:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:11.000 People are like, did you say actual woman? 1.00

01:26:14.000 Did you say that?

01:26:16.000 What did you say?

01:26:18.000 But that's wild, right, that a woman beat? 0.99

01:26:20.000 She's not good.

01:26:21.000 No, she's not good.

01:26:23.000 She's not a good fighter. 1.00

01:26:23.000 No, she's just strong. 1.00

01:26:25.000 You don't look at her and think, oh, she fights like Chris Cyborg or she boxes like Claressa Shields. 1.00

01:26:31.000 No, she's not that unbelievably talented.

01:26:34.000 She's just physically way different. 1.00

01:26:37.000 She's a fucking man. 1.00

01:26:38.000 She's a man for 30 years, had children. 1.00

01:26:41.000 This was when I knew it was crazy.

01:26:44.000 I got in a conversation with someone online where this woman was like, she's always been a man.

01:26:48.000 I go, even when she got another woman pregnant and had children with her? 0.99

01:26:54.000 And she goes, yes, even then.

01:26:55.000 She was a woman.

01:26:56.000 She was a woman. 1.00

01:26:57.000 She was a woman that fucked another woman and got her pregnant. 1.00

01:27:00.000 Okay. 1.00

01:27:00.000 What? 1.00

01:27:01.000 Just hang up.

01:27:02.000 What?

01:27:02.000 Yeah.

01:27:03.000 What are we doing?

01:27:04.000 I know.

01:27:04.000 Like, this is so crazy.

01:27:05.000 You got to tap out of those conversations.

01:27:07.000 Like, even Bruce Jenner, when he transitioned to Caitlyn Jenner and then eventually got his surgery, right?

01:27:13.000 Or her surgery.

01:27:15.000 She said, even before the surgery, though, it didn't change anything.

01:27:19.000 I was always 100% a woman.

01:27:20.000 Okay?

01:27:22.000 Then why get surgery?

01:27:23.000 Well, because you're thinking that gender is just with genitalia. 0.53

01:27:29.000 That's your mistake.

01:27:30.000 You, personally.

01:27:31.000 And that's the mistake.

01:27:32.000 What is it?

01:27:34.000 Gender's not just genitals. 1.00

01:27:35.000 It's in your mind.

01:27:37.000 Right.

01:27:37.000 So it's also a facial reconstruction.

01:27:40.000 That's why you just said something fucking stupid, and I just let you know how dumb that was. 1.00

01:27:45.000 So what is the difference? 1.00

01:27:46.000 Someone said that there's gender, and then there's biological sex, and that gender is the operating system, and biological sex is the hardware. 0.99

01:27:58.000 100% agree.

01:28:01.000 Yeah, makes sense.

01:28:05.000 Outrage over transgender female weightlifter who destroyed her rivals by hoisting 19 kilograms more than the runner-up.

01:28:12.000 Now she's a contender for the Commonwealth Games. 0.99

01:28:16.000 Guess what?

01:28:17.000 Oh my god, look at the size of her. 1.00

01:28:19.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:28:20.000 Laurel? 1.00

01:28:21.000 She's a goddamn gorilla. 1.00

01:28:23.000 Made her international weightlifting debut in Melbourne on Sunday. 1.00

01:28:27.000 It's about 40 pounds more than the second place person. 0.99

01:28:30.000 Yeah, what in the fucking holy hell. 0.99

01:28:34.000 Oh my god, look at the size of her. 1.00

01:28:36.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:28:38.000 Yeah, and imagine if you're a biological woman who's been training and working hard all her life, and then all of a sudden you have to compete with this. 1.00

01:28:46.000 And you're like, I'm first place, bitch. 1.00

01:28:48.000 And she's giant. 1.00

01:28:49.000 Look at the size of her head, her formerly male head. 1.00

01:28:52.000 Yeah.

01:28:52.000 That's a giant woman.

01:28:53.000 That's just a way to get medals.

01:28:55.000 Well, it's sandbagging.

01:28:57.000 Yeah.

01:28:57.000 That's what a lot of it is.

01:28:58.000 That's fucked up, man. 0.99

01:28:59.000 That is what a lot of it is. 0.99

01:29:01.000 That's not fair.

01:29:01.000 And people don't want to admit that.

01:29:02.000 That's not fair, yeah.

01:29:04.000 Sandbagging, if you don't know what it means, is like, you would get that in martial arts tournaments.

01:29:08.000 Like, say, you would have a tournament, and the tournament would be like for blue belts only, which is like one rank above white belt.

01:29:15.000 And then guys would be like a black belt in judo, and they would enter into the blue belt division and stomp everything. 1.00

01:29:22.000 Right.

01:29:23.000 Because they're like, I don't have a belt in that.

01:29:24.000 Right.

01:29:24.000 But he's sandbagging.

01:29:26.000 You know what they're doing.

01:29:27.000 Yeah.

01:29:27.000 And everybody knows what they're doing.

01:29:29.000 You see that shit. 0.99

01:29:31.000 There's a lot of that where people just want to win, and the way they can win is by competing against people that are not on that same level. 1.00

01:29:37.000 Sure.

01:29:38.000 If you don't think that people do that when they switch over from being a man for 30 years and then competing as a woman and not tell them and just start smashing these women- If you don't think there's something in that, then you don't understand athletics, you don't understand competition, you don't understand sandbaggers, 1.00

01:29:54.000 and you don't understand the kind of people that wouldn't tell people about that in the first place.

01:29:59.000 But they don't want to look at it that way.

01:30:01.000 Everything has to go through the filter of being progressive, so you have to err on the side of being the most open-minded, the most liberal, and the most progressive.

01:30:13.000 Which I'm...

01:30:14.000 100% for if women want to fight a transgender woman, if a woman wants to. 0.98

01:30:21.000 I think you should be able to ride bulls.

01:30:24.000 I think you should be able to skydive. 0.99

01:30:26.000 I think you should be able to do fucking bungee jumping. 1.00

01:30:29.000 I think you should be able to do a lot of ridiculous, crazy, dangerous shit. 1.00

01:30:34.000 You should be able to do flips with BMX bikes. 1.00

01:30:36.000 Why shouldn't you be able to fight a man?

01:30:38.000 Yeah. 0.88

01:30:38.000 Why shouldn't you be able to fight a transgender woman, a woman who used to be a man? 0.88

01:30:42.000 You should be able to.

01:30:43.000 If you're a man...

01:30:44.000 You're signing up for it.

01:30:45.000 Yeah, if you're a woman, rather, and you're 130 pounds, you want to fight 130-pound, 100% man, no transgender, no nothing. 0.92

01:30:51.000 If you want to do that, you should be allowed to.

01:30:53.000 You should be allowed to.

01:30:54.000 I don't advise it.

01:30:56.000 I think it's a terrible idea for you.

01:30:57.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:30:58.000 You're going to get pummeled.

01:30:59.000 Well, if it's a good fighter, you are.

01:31:01.000 There's just...

01:31:02.000 What is this?

01:31:03.000 What's going on here?

01:31:04.000 Bodybuilder?

01:31:05.000 What are you showing me, Jen?

01:31:06.000 The article says this person can't decide to compete as a man or a woman, and this is what they look like.

01:31:12.000 They can't decide whether to compete as a man or a woman? 1.00

01:31:15.000 That's what he used to look like on the left? 0.99

01:31:17.000 Fucking A, man. 0.99

01:31:18.000 And then, oh my god, he was super jacked. 0.99

01:31:20.000 And now he is on the right, but he looks like he's still a man.

01:31:26.000 He hasn't transitioned yet.

01:31:30.000 Still lives his life as both.

01:31:32.000 He lives his life as both. 1.00

01:31:34.000 See, this is where you're seeing that some of these fucking people have mental illness. 1.00

01:31:40.000 There was an episode of Radiolab where this one guy... 1.00

01:31:44.000 Who's also a girl, switches back and forth.

01:31:48.000 And under pressure, he changes.

01:31:49.000 Like, he's Paul or he's Cindy.

01:31:51.000 And this is what?

01:31:52.000 On what?

01:31:52.000 Radio Lab.

01:31:53.000 It's a podcast. 0.99

01:31:54.000 But Radio Lab is so fucking left-wing. 0.98

01:31:57.000 And I love them. 0.95

01:31:58.000 They're amazing. 0.98

01:31:58.000 But they're so left-wing and so progressive that they are unwilling to note and even address the preposterous nature of this fucking person who's like, I just switched. 0.98

01:32:09.000 Now I'm Cindy. 0.99

01:32:10.000 Right now?

01:32:11.000 Now I'm back to Paul.

01:32:12.000 We're back to Paul now.

01:32:13.000 In the conversation?

01:32:13.000 Yes, in the conversation.

01:32:15.000 Like, I just turned over.

01:32:16.000 Like, oh, you did.

01:32:17.000 Oh, you're this special creature that can just go back and forth and switch genders. 1.00

01:32:21.000 Or, are you fucking crazy, Paul slash Cindy? 1.00

01:32:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:32:26.000 We would never have violated Paige's wishes in this story.

01:32:28.000 It's an unfortunate understanding.

01:32:30.000 This is their note when they had to change the whole story, remember?

01:32:34.000 They had to go back because they got mad that they misgendered them in the original podcast.

01:32:40.000 How do they misgender if she goes back and forth? 0.99

01:32:43.000 They have to keep up at the moment?

01:32:45.000 Yeah.

01:32:48.000 So they misgendered how?

01:32:50.000 Were they called her a him or him a her?

01:32:53.000 Which one's the misgendering?

01:32:55.000 So miscommunication was between the reporter and the actual person they were talking to. 1.00

01:33:00.000 Yeah, the person's fucking crazy. 0.99

01:33:02.000 You can't just go back and forth and back and forth. 1.00

01:33:05.000 Like, cut the shit. 1.00

01:33:06.000 This whole thing is just preposterous. 0.99

01:33:09.000 They'll remove references to the name she no longer recognizes.

01:33:13.000 Does that mean that afterwards...

01:33:15.000 Afterwards she decided to go full female. 0.62

01:33:17.000 That's what happened.

01:33:18.000 What do you keep calling me Craig for, man?

01:33:21.000 So at one point in time during the show, she switches.

01:33:25.000 Come on, man.

01:33:26.000 I'm Paul now.

01:33:27.000 Now I'm back to Cindy.

01:33:29.000 Cindy's light.

01:33:30.000 Cindy's happy.

01:33:31.000 Cindy's loose.

01:33:32.000 Cindy doesn't care. 0.99

01:33:33.000 You need psychiatric help at this point.

01:33:35.000 At one point in time, here's the thing.

01:33:37.000 You're not allowed to say that when it comes to gender.

01:33:41.000 When it comes to anything else, if you're like, oh, I recognize him as a wood elf.

01:33:45.000 I'm a wood elf.

01:33:45.000 You know, that's how I identify.

01:33:48.000 I'm a sprite.

01:33:49.000 I should be in the forest flying around with the butterflies.

01:33:52.000 Like, people go, oh, he probably has an issue. 0.98

01:33:55.000 That guy's schizophrenic. 0.70

01:33:56.000 Yeah.

01:33:56.000 But if it's a guy who's built like Brock Lesnar, who's like, you know, I've always identified as a small, thin woman.

01:34:04.000 People are like, yeah.

01:34:05.000 Who dances.

01:34:05.000 Totally cool.

01:34:06.000 Yeah.

01:34:07.000 We should respect that.

01:34:08.000 Yeah, we should respect that.

01:34:09.000 When it comes to gender, gender is this weird thing that we allow all sorts of very illogical behavior. 0.99

01:34:16.000 Isn't that wild?

01:34:16.000 Yeah, like these 78-plus gender...

01:34:20.000 By the way, they're adding more.

01:34:22.000 There's more.

01:34:22.000 There weren't enough.

01:34:24.000 There's more gender pronouns now than ever before.

01:34:27.000 But if it's a guy at a bus stop who's like, I am the president, you don't go like, oh, we should respect the fuck out of that right now.

01:34:33.000 Right.

01:34:33.000 You're just like, oh my God.

01:34:34.000 He identifies as the leader of the free world.

01:34:36.000 Yeah.

01:34:36.000 Address that.

01:34:37.000 No, you're supposed to be like, hey, stand over here.

01:34:40.000 Yeah, when it comes to gender, we're supposed to give a lot of leeway. 0.98

01:34:46.000 Let a lot of things slide.

01:34:48.000 That is true.

01:34:49.000 Yeah.

01:34:50.000 And I think it's for good reason.

01:34:52.000 I think the good part of it is that we recognize that there are people that really do wish that they were a woman and would like you to call them a woman.

01:35:00.000 And why not?

01:35:02.000 Let the guy become a gal. 1.00

01:35:04.000 Sure.

01:35:04.000 And maybe they'll be happier that way.

01:35:05.000 And I guess it shows acceptance and kindness on our part to just allow that to happen.

01:35:11.000 True. 0.99

01:35:14.000 The problem with that is it's a goddamn slippery slope. 0.94

01:35:16.000 And a lot of this weirdness that's going on is people trying to control other people's behavior. 0.95

01:35:21.000 And one of the ways they try to do that is try to get you to use words that they've made up.

01:35:27.000 Yeah.

01:35:28.000 This is where you're seeing how preposterous it is.

01:35:31.000 The number of pronouns is also just...

01:35:33.000 78!

01:35:34.000 Up until recently.

01:35:35.000 I mean, I understand somebody saying, like, I don't identify...

01:35:38.000 Like, I understand that concept.

01:35:39.000 It's not too hard to understand.

01:35:41.000 But where it's like, I also have free reign on a hundred words that you should possibly know to address me by.

01:35:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:35:51.000 It's like, what are you fucking... 0.99

01:35:53.000 Why are you bothering everybody? 1.00

01:35:55.000 Is that what you get off on?

01:35:57.000 Well, you become special that way.

01:35:58.000 Yeah, of course.

01:35:59.000 You get special rights, special privileges, special attention.

01:36:03.000 You get...

01:36:04.000 It's just special consideration.

01:36:07.000 I'm trying to remember if my...

01:36:09.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:12.000 I've had on my profile on Twitter for a long time.

01:36:15.000 Like, if you read my first bio sentence, I'm a comedian.

01:36:18.000 Is this comedian Zimzer?

01:36:20.000 That's my pronouns.

01:36:22.000 But nobody respects it.

01:36:25.000 Well, I didn't even know Zim.

01:36:26.000 Yeah, Zim is a big one. 1.00

01:36:28.000 I know Zer, Z-H-E-R. Or Z-E-R, yeah. 1.00

01:36:32.000 Zimzer.

01:36:32.000 Yeah.

01:36:33.000 Those are... 1.00

01:36:34.000 These motherfuckers. 1.00

01:36:35.000 There's just so many. 1.00

01:36:37.000 What does it say? 0.97

01:36:37.000 We're really feeling dog cunts? 0.97

01:36:39.000 What does it say there? 0.91

01:36:42.000 What does it say there in his tweet? 0.77

01:36:43.000 We're really feeling dog cunts and want to thank the people of Australia for bringing it to our attention. 0.84

01:36:48.000 Well, we saw this clip where this guy, if you hit view there, he's like doing this video and we just heard him say it. 0.82

01:36:54.000 I was like, I've never heard somebody say that.

01:36:57.000 Can you play it or no?

01:36:58.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:37:01.000 Dog cunts. 1.00

01:37:02.000 I like dog cunts. 1.00

01:37:02.000 I've never heard dog cunt. 1.00

01:37:04.000 I've never heard that before in my life. 0.99

01:37:05.000 It's really good.

01:37:07.000 It's really good. 0.97

01:37:09.000 He drinks a beer and he's like, dog cunts. 1.00

01:37:11.000 He's an Australian guy. 1.00

01:37:13.000 We're like, fucking A. And then all these Australian people were like, that's right. 1.00

01:37:16.000 That's one of the things we say here.

01:37:18.000 What does it mean?

01:37:19.000 I actually got really great explanations of it about how common it is there.

01:37:27.000 Let me see.

01:37:27.000 This guy wrote...

01:37:28.000 Well, first of all, the guy goes, no problem.

01:37:32.000 That is how we talk here.

01:37:33.000 A dog in Australia... 1.00

01:37:35.000 It's like a dirty rat or an ugly person or a dishonest person. 1.00

01:37:39.000 We use it to put people down. 1.00

01:37:41.000 So it's like, you know, if somebody, you say dog, a dog is like a shitty person. 0.99

01:37:47.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

01:37:48.000 So, someone wrote, there's a lot of shit cunts here too. 1.00

01:37:55.000 I like shit cunt. 1.00

01:37:57.000 He said it's two insults because dog is a common insult. 1.00

01:38:00.000 And this guy is a total bogan, which is like a white trash redneck. 1.00

01:38:07.000 The other guy said, if you say you fucking dog cunt to the wrong type of Aussie, you might get stabbed with a sharpened toothbrush multiple times. 1.00

01:38:14.000 And he said it's a snitch in bogan slang. 1.00

01:38:17.000 So a dog cunt's a snitch. 1.00

01:38:19.000 A dog cunt is a snitch? 1.00

01:38:21.000 Yeah, so a mad cunt is a good bloke. 1.00

01:38:23.000 A sick cunt is a professional BMX rider. 1.00

01:38:27.000 A fat cunt is Bert. 1.00

01:38:29.000 A dog cunt's a shitty person. 1.00

01:38:32.000 If you see your mate and he ditches you for a girl on a night out, he's a fucking dog cunt. 1.00

01:38:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:38:40.000 If you see your mate, your buddy, and he ditches you for a gal... 1.00

01:38:44.000 He's a fucking dog cunt. 1.00

01:38:46.000 What's he supposed to do? 1.00

01:38:47.000 Like, what if he can get laid?

01:38:48.000 He's supposed to hang out with you, man.

01:38:49.000 You guys had plans. 0.98

01:38:50.000 I don't fucking know. 0.57

01:38:51.000 At a certain point in time. 0.85

01:38:52.000 Yeah.

01:38:53.000 Like, what if she's really hot? 0.99

01:38:54.000 That changes everything, of course.

01:38:55.000 Kate Upton in her prime.

01:38:57.000 If she's super smoking hot, banging out right now. 1.00

01:39:00.000 Then your friend's being a dog cunt for getting upset at you, I think. 1.00

01:39:04.000 Interesting. 1.00

01:39:06.000 I don't know why I came up with her.

01:39:08.000 I'm having a hard time pulling hot chicks names for references on the fly. 1.00

01:39:13.000 I don't know why.

01:39:13.000 The other day I said Jennifer Beale from Flashdance.

01:39:16.000 I was like, where?

01:39:16.000 What?

01:39:17.000 Hey man, there's a special place in your mind.

01:39:19.000 That's how it is.

01:39:20.000 I guess?

01:39:20.000 Yeah.

01:39:21.000 I think we all go to like an era.

01:39:23.000 I would do that too. 0.99

01:39:24.000 Fucking Kathy Ireland, Smoke Show. 1.00

01:39:26.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:39:27.000 She's like 80 now.

01:39:28.000 Yeah.

01:39:29.000 That's because there was a time when I was really stroking to her.

01:39:32.000 Were you?

01:39:33.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm sure.

01:39:34.000 When, like, that Sports Illustrated was coming out, I was probably like 13 or something.

01:39:38.000 So, yeah, that would have been prime time.

01:39:40.000 Wow.

01:39:41.000 That era, it's like when you discover what a hot woman is. 1.00

01:39:44.000 When you discover what a hot woman is. 0.96

01:39:46.000 Oh, she's like someone's mom now.

01:39:48.000 Oh, definitely.

01:39:49.000 Elle McPherson?

01:39:50.000 That's what she used to look like. 0.99

01:39:51.000 Yeah, so that right there.

01:39:53.000 It's got to be so hard for those women to let that go. 1.00

01:39:56.000 Yeah, to be that hot and celebrated for it.

01:39:59.000 And now to be just like a regular...

01:40:02.000 A nice lady with pearls. 1.00

01:40:05.000 Nice gal. 1.00

01:40:07.000 Someone's mom.

01:40:09.000 Yeah, I think the thing about the SI stuff, when the swimsuit issue would come out, is that they...

01:40:15.000 They were kind of household names and kind of not.

01:40:17.000 So you felt like you knew something by learning their name.

01:40:20.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:40:21.000 Because it wasn't a movie star.

01:40:23.000 A swimsuit model was learning that name. 1.00

01:40:26.000 I'm talking about as a teenager.

01:40:29.000 In a bizarre way, you thought you knew them better because you knew their name.

01:40:33.000 So I would be like...

01:40:35.000 Oh, Kathy Ireland, Elle McPherson.

01:40:36.000 And then people would catch on, but you'd learn their names and feel like you knew something.

01:40:41.000 I don't know.

01:40:42.000 It's really weird.

01:40:43.000 Really?

01:40:43.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:40:44.000 You felt like you were better than people that didn't know their names?

01:40:46.000 I think at 12 and 13, definitely.

01:40:48.000 Was it like a sports thing?

01:40:50.000 Yes, it's like knowing stats. 0.97

01:40:51.000 Like, that dude's 6'9", 245, so he can really fucking move, man. 0.76

01:40:55.000 You know, then you feel like you know more. 0.90

01:40:57.000 Yeah, that was always a thing, right?

01:40:59.000 When you were young, to be able to pull out sports stats and players' names, to know the entire lineup.

01:41:05.000 It's really crazy.

01:41:06.000 I saw this thing, Artie Lang, do you know that he can name for like 40 years who played in World Series and like...

01:41:15.000 Like, the two teams that played.

01:41:17.000 But I'm talking about, you can be like, 1958. He's like, that was Cardinals vs.

01:41:22.000 Mets, Game 4. He knows a span of 40 or 50 years by memory.

01:41:28.000 Wow. 0.94

01:41:29.000 That's some really, really ridiculous stats to know. 1.00

01:41:33.000 Well, he's a fucking banana baseball fan. 0.99

01:41:36.000 Yeah, but this level of it is really... 0.99

01:41:39.000 I've never seen anything like that before.

01:41:42.000 Why doesn't he do, like, sports radio, then?

01:41:44.000 He did for a while, didn't he?

01:41:45.000 He might have.

01:41:46.000 Was that thing that he did with Nick DiPaolo, wasn't that, like, a sports radio show?

01:41:49.000 I'm not sure.

01:41:50.000 I'm not sure.

01:41:51.000 What is he doing now?

01:41:52.000 He checked himself into rehab, right?

01:41:55.000 Um, I think so.

01:41:56.000 Because he was doing that show with Anthony Cumia.

01:41:58.000 Anthony, yeah.

01:41:59.000 And then, I think he checked himself into rehab.

01:42:02.000 I think so, yeah.

01:42:03.000 Which is good.

01:42:05.000 Yeah.

01:42:06.000 He just did that last, or the new season of Crashing, the HBO show, Pete Holmes show.

01:42:11.000 Oh, he's one of the guests?

01:42:12.000 Or one of the stars?

01:42:13.000 No, he's a cast member, I think.

01:42:14.000 Oh, is he?

01:42:15.000 I think so.

01:42:15.000 Because he was on it the first season, and yeah, he returned.

01:42:19.000 Poor guy.

01:42:20.000 He loves the drugs.

01:42:21.000 Yeah.

01:42:22.000 And the hard ones.

01:42:23.000 He's a true addict.

01:42:24.000 Yeah.

01:42:25.000 Yeah.

01:42:26.000 Like, you gotta wonder.

01:42:27.000 He's so funny, though.

01:42:28.000 He's hilarious. 0.99

01:42:29.000 And that's, like I said, that sports knowledge he has is fucking crazy. 0.56

01:42:34.000 Do you have sports knowledge? 0.99

01:42:35.000 You have a lot of sports knowledge.

01:42:37.000 No.

01:42:37.000 Not like that.

01:42:38.000 I know some random things.

01:42:40.000 Right.

01:42:40.000 I know some things like...

01:42:42.000 I mean, basically, like I said, I like college football, and so I can hold a conversation with different levels of college football fans.

01:42:51.000 I could talk to a superfan and hang with them in that conversation, but I'm not like...

01:42:57.000 I can tell you every championship game for the last 20, no, no.

01:43:01.000 I remember people, teams winning and stuff, for sure, but I don't have a level that you'd be like, dude, what type of autism do you have? 0.97

01:43:10.000 That is like savant level shit where it's like you're such an expert in one field, you know? 0.95

01:43:16.000 All these weird stats you retain. 0.99

01:43:18.000 I'm not like that.

01:43:20.000 Yeah.

01:43:21.000 You ever see Al Franken draw the United States like that?

01:43:26.000 No.

01:43:27.000 He's got this weird ability to draw every state.

01:43:30.000 Yeah, all 50 states.

01:43:32.000 He draws the shape of them, puts it together.

01:43:35.000 He draws the United States by free hand. 0.71

01:43:38.000 Really?

01:43:39.000 Yeah.

01:43:40.000 That's very weird.

01:43:41.000 Like, his ability to do that, like, look at this.

01:43:44.000 Look at this. 0.96

01:43:45.000 This is before everybody knew he grabbed butts. 0.84

01:43:48.000 What? 0.79

01:43:49.000 Allegedly.

01:43:49.000 That's already impressive.

01:43:50.000 Just that.

01:43:51.000 Yeah.

01:43:52.000 No, he does the entire country completely freehand.

01:43:56.000 And it's an accurate map of the country.

01:43:58.000 How is this possible?

01:44:00.000 Well, because he's a real patriot.

01:44:02.000 This is one of the things that's kind of...

01:44:05.000 Disturbing and sad about this whole Al Franken thing. 0.96

01:44:08.000 The worst they got out of him was that he may or may not have grabbed someone's butt when he took pictures with him. 0.90

01:44:17.000 I don't know if he did or he didn't, but that's basically it. 0.84

01:44:21.000 Incredible.

01:44:22.000 And he's resigning.

01:44:23.000 He's not going to be a senator anymore.

01:44:25.000 No, he's done.

01:44:26.000 But they didn't get him on anything completely horrible. 0.99

01:44:30.000 It was just like he may or may not have squoze in someone's butt. 0.99

01:44:37.000 A few people's butts. 1.00

01:44:38.000 How many? 0.98

01:44:39.000 I don't know.

01:44:39.000 Five?

01:44:40.000 It's a few butts. 1.00

01:44:40.000 A few butts? 1.00

01:44:41.000 A few butts. 1.00

01:44:42.000 Like five or six butts? 1.00

01:44:43.000 That's really impressive, actually.

01:44:44.000 Yeah, it really is.

01:44:45.000 It's very impressive.

01:44:46.000 And this is...

01:44:48.000 I mean...

01:44:48.000 Yeah.

01:44:49.000 I mean, does California, the whole deal.

01:44:51.000 Well, come on.

01:44:53.000 Oh, there's Alaska.

01:44:53.000 Even as Alaska and Hawaii.

01:44:55.000 You do the States.

01:44:56.000 Come on.

01:44:57.000 Yeah.

01:44:58.000 That's the state fair. 0.77

01:44:59.000 That's where we would grab butts. 1.00

01:45:00.000 He would grab butts at the state fair.

01:45:02.000 Yeah.

01:45:02.000 Well, he was all high on his performance.

01:45:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:04.000 He just was feeling, I'm the fucking king of the world. 1.00

01:45:07.000 I could see how it could happen. 1.00

01:45:08.000 I had my butt grab the bunch. 0.99

01:45:10.000 Taking pictures with women? 0.99

01:45:12.000 For sure.

01:45:12.000 After shows, yeah.

01:45:13.000 I've never grabbed.

01:45:14.000 I'm like, nah, that's just not.

01:45:15.000 I don't do it. 0.95

01:45:16.000 But I could see how people's butts would get grabbed. 0.99

01:45:18.000 Bill Burr was talking about it on his podcast. 0.86

01:45:20.000 He's like, this is a particular type of woman. 0.99

01:45:21.000 In her 40s, drunk, a little loud, getting kind of crazy. 1.00

01:45:26.000 Who's the one that's going to grab your ass? 1.00

01:45:27.000 They'll grab your ass. 1.00

01:45:28.000 They'll say like, can I pinch your nipple? 1.00

01:45:32.000 And they'll say something and before you can even say no. 0.99

01:45:35.000 Boom! 0.99

01:45:36.000 They're going for it.

01:45:36.000 They'll go for it.

01:45:37.000 Yikes! 1.00

01:45:38.000 And they're always boozed up.

01:45:42.000 That's always alcohol.

01:45:43.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:45:44.000 Yeah, alcohol is the catalyst for all shitty behavior and decision making. 0.70

01:45:49.000 By the way, did you see that Born Strong doc? 0.72

01:45:51.000 You see that?

01:45:52.000 What's that?

01:45:52.000 Born Strong is this documentary about the World's Strongest Man competition.

01:45:57.000 No. 0.97

01:45:58.000 It's really fucking interesting, man. 0.96

01:46:00.000 Yeah? 0.99

01:46:00.000 These guys are such fucking, like, not normal species of human, you know? 0.99

01:46:07.000 Oh, is it like the Iceland guys? 1.00

01:46:09.000 Yes.

01:46:09.000 They're doing those powerlifting competitions and stuff?

01:46:11.000 And they go to the Arnold Classic every year.

01:46:14.000 Oh, these guys. 1.00

01:46:15.000 These guys are such fucking beasts, man. 1.00

01:46:19.000 I mean, it is like... 1.00

01:46:20.000 It's not...

01:46:23.000 I mean, this dude does an 1,100-pound deadlift.

01:46:26.000 What?

01:46:26.000 Yeah.

01:46:28.000 Eddie, 6'2", 400 pounds.

01:46:30.000 Yeah.

01:46:31.000 These guys...

01:46:32.000 So unhealthy for you to be that big.

01:46:33.000 Well, that guy is interesting.

01:46:36.000 He was a national champion swimmer.

01:46:38.000 Wow.

01:46:39.000 Yeah, as a kid.

01:46:40.000 Like a thin guy.

01:46:42.000 Yes, lean and thin.

01:46:43.000 And he's competing against guys.

01:46:46.000 Most of the guys he competes against are like...

01:46:48.000 That guy's the next smallest, basically.

01:46:52.000 All the other guys are like 6'8", 6'9", 4'10", 4'20", 4'30". 0.75

01:46:58.000 And the swimmer guy...

01:47:01.000 Has to eat, like, all day.

01:47:03.000 And they explain the physiology.

01:47:04.000 Look at the size of that guy.

01:47:06.000 6'8", 4'27".

01:47:08.000 I mean, they're just...

01:47:10.000 Jesus Christ. 0.97

01:47:12.000 They're so crazy. 0.98

01:47:13.000 But this level of competition is...

01:47:15.000 This is the guy from Game of Thrones right here.

01:47:17.000 He's a competitor, too.

01:47:20.000 But it's, like, the physiology of eating that much to sustain...

01:47:28.000 The muscle, eventually, you have to put on the weight.

01:47:32.000 Like, you need the fat.

01:47:34.000 And they explain how, you know, this guy's like, his physique is like that.

01:47:39.000 He's just kind of put together that way, but most of the guys have these big barrel bellies.

01:47:44.000 And a doctor explains how, at a certain level of consumption, these guys all basically get bellies, you know?

01:47:53.000 Because people are like, why do they have to get fat?

01:47:55.000 And just as you think that, they start explaining it.

01:47:58.000 So when you're that big and you lift in that much weight, you have to be fat?

01:48:02.000 Yes, that's basically what the guy says.

01:48:04.000 But the Game of Thrones guy's not really that fat.

01:48:07.000 But he's one of the unique cases where... 0.99

01:48:11.000 He is actually, like, built to be a fucking Viking. 0.98

01:48:16.000 In other words, the other guys are eating so much to sustain themselves, be able to pick up and recover from all this crazy weightlifting. 0.97

01:48:26.000 He's a guy who, like, is essentially born walking around 6'8", 395 or whatever.

01:48:33.000 Yeah.

01:48:33.000 Like, he's a...

01:48:34.000 Unique freak.

01:48:35.000 The other guys have to eat crazy amounts of food.

01:48:39.000 I mean, they show what one of these guys eats, it would blow your mind.

01:48:42.000 He force feeds himself like nine times a day.

01:48:45.000 And he has to?

01:48:46.000 He said he has to, yeah.

01:48:48.000 And has he ever tried to not do it and see if he's less strong?

01:48:51.000 I think so, yeah.

01:48:53.000 Isn't that weird that force feeding yourself makes yourself stronger?

01:48:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:48:57.000 It really is interesting.

01:48:58.000 Like why?

01:49:00.000 Why do you get stronger if you're fatter?

01:49:02.000 Or do you need that much food to keep the muscles up?

01:49:05.000 And if you just eat that much food to keep the muscles up, there's gonna be a certain amount of fat.

01:49:08.000 That's kind of...

01:49:09.000 Yeah, I think that's more of the way it goes.

01:49:12.000 Do they talk about steroids?

01:49:13.000 Um, no.

01:49:15.000 Not really, no. 0.99

01:49:15.000 Well, that's a bullshit documentary then. 0.99

01:49:17.000 I don't feel like they did. 1.00

01:49:18.000 These fucking guys, no one wants to admit it. 0.99

01:49:20.000 That's a weird thing about that world. 1.00

01:49:23.000 That's the swimmer guy.

01:49:24.000 Look at him.

01:49:24.000 Wow, he was all lean and...

01:49:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:27.000 Gay porno-y. 1.00

01:49:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:30.000 Not that he was, I'm just saying. 1.00

01:49:33.000 There's a film about a guy working out in the backyard and a bunch of guys showed up to suck his dick. 1.00

01:49:37.000 That would be the guy. 1.00

01:49:39.000 You'd believe it.

01:49:40.000 You'd believe this was real life. 0.99

01:49:42.000 The fact that one of those guys could just become a woman and just enter into women's weightlifting competitions is so fucking preposterous. 0.99

01:49:50.000 And they would be like, be respectful. 0.97

01:49:50.000 Don't bring up the past. 0.97

01:49:51.000 She's a woman. 0.82

01:49:52.000 She's always been a woman. 1.00

01:49:53.000 God, she beat the competition by an astounding 600 pounds. 1.00

01:49:57.000 Weird.

01:49:57.000 Really crazy.

01:49:59.000 Yeah, beat the second runner up by 40 pounds. 0.98

01:50:01.000 No big deal.

01:50:02.000 It's normal.

01:50:03.000 Super normal.

01:50:04.000 It happens.

01:50:06.000 No, no.

01:50:06.000 Everybody does it.

01:50:07.000 No.

01:50:09.000 No.

01:50:10.000 We're going to look back on these days, and it's going to be an astounding...

01:50:15.000 Sort of observation on mass thinking, like groupthink, like what happens when people are scared of expressing themselves honestly and expressing controversial points of view because of the time and the culture.

01:50:31.000 Yeah.

01:50:33.000 What ramifications it has.

01:50:35.000 Like, by the way, here's what's weird.

01:50:37.000 I'm, and I don't know if it's good or bad, it's not a judgment call, but I am, I know so many people whose children are now transgender.

01:50:46.000 A lot?

01:50:47.000 Yeah, like five or six.

01:50:48.000 Really?

01:50:49.000 Where I didn't know any before.

01:50:50.000 All out here?

01:50:51.000 When I was growing up.

01:50:52.000 All in California?

01:50:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:50:53.000 Well, one of them in Canada.

01:50:54.000 But yeah, really important.

01:50:57.000 What's this?

01:50:59.000 Toronto Furies, Jessica Platt, is a CWHL's first openly transgender player. 0.85

01:51:05.000 Now, she used to be a woman, and now is a man? 0.97

01:51:08.000 Used to be a man, now is a woman. 1.00

01:51:09.000 And she's playing women's hockey? 1.00

01:51:11.000 Okay. 1.00

01:51:12.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:51:14.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:51:15.000 Fuck people up. 1.00

01:51:16.000 Yeah, it's hockey. 1.00

01:51:17.000 Guess who's an all-star this year?

01:51:19.000 It's Jessica. 0.99

01:51:20.000 Yeah, take that fucking mountain from the Game of Thrones. 1.00

01:51:22.000 Put him in a skirt. 1.00

01:51:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:24.000 See how many people he plows over like a goddamn human bowling ball. 1.00

01:51:27.000 Oh my God. 1.00

01:51:29.000 That dude's so fucking strong. 0.99

01:51:31.000 It's crazy. 0.98

01:51:32.000 It's just, if you're going to play sports, there should be...

01:51:36.000 Look, there are physical freaks that are women. 1.00

01:51:38.000 There's no doubt about that.

01:51:40.000 There's some women that are just physical freaks. 1.00

01:51:42.000 And there's some women that also take steroids. 1.00

01:51:44.000 That's another very controversial issue because you have women that are ingesting large amounts of male hormones and changing their physiology and then they also compete against women. 0.94

01:51:56.000 But then there's women or just women. 1.00

01:51:58.000 What about them?

01:51:59.000 How about looking out for them?

01:52:01.000 How about not letting them get their head smashed in by a man?

01:52:04.000 That's just not fair, man.

01:52:04.000 That's what it comes down to.

01:52:05.000 It's not. 0.99

01:52:06.000 But it's also, it just shows you how silly...

01:52:11.000 People have gotten and about how weird we are about looking at things and that everyone is so...

01:52:18.000 and because they don't really have a personal stake in the game, Everyone is so concerned about being viewed as being incredibly progressive and open-minded that they don't want to criticize us.

01:52:29.000 It's a really interesting point because if you really put yourself in a competition you care about, say it's important to you to win.

01:52:36.000 Imagine yourself competing in something where it's important to you to win.

01:52:41.000 And they go, but we're going to have this person in.

01:52:44.000 And those are the circumstances.

01:52:45.000 You would... 1.00

01:52:46.000 You'd be the first one to be like, fuck that! 1.00

01:52:48.000 That is not fair. 1.00

01:52:49.000 And those women get called bigots? 1.00

01:52:51.000 Yeah.

01:52:52.000 It's really strange.

01:52:53.000 Yeah, that is very strange.

01:52:54.000 Those women get attacked online. 0.98

01:52:56.000 There's a bunch of women that didn't want to fight that transgender man who became a woman in MMA, and they got called bigots and transphobe. 0.89

01:53:04.000 And the transgender people... 0.80

01:53:06.000 That community is like super aggressive about defending that intellectual turf, defending that idea.

01:53:12.000 See, that's an interesting place is like where you go, because you have to have empathy for, let's say, this transgender person who's like, I want to compete.

01:53:20.000 And you're like, yeah, you should be able to compete.

01:53:22.000 But how is this circumstance fair to both sides, you know, to those women that are ready to compete in this thing?

01:53:31.000 They also want attention.

01:53:32.000 Part of the wanting to compete is also wanting attention and wanting everyone to know that you're a man who transitioned to a woman and that there's...

01:53:41.000 Look, there's a lot of energy in that.

01:53:43.000 There's a lot of people that are paying attention to that.

01:53:46.000 And anybody who says, no, that's preposterous, people, they want their privacy when it comes to these matters, and they don't want to be open to the ridicule. 1.00

01:53:55.000 Bullshit. 1.00

01:53:56.000 They want attention. 1.00

01:53:58.000 100%.

01:53:59.000 It's why they're competing.

01:54:00.000 It's what they're doing.

01:54:01.000 It's why they're letting everybody know they're the first openly transgender woman.

01:54:05.000 A lot of this is about...

01:54:07.000 I mean, some of it is about transgender rights.

01:54:09.000 It's about transparency and showing people how many of those folks are out there.

01:54:13.000 Sure. 0.98

01:54:14.000 A lot of it's about horseshit. 0.93

01:54:15.000 Yeah, there's a lot of attention. 0.98

01:54:17.000 A lot of it.

01:54:17.000 I mean, for you to sign up for that competition when you know what's what, it's definitely attention-getting.

01:54:23.000 Especially things like powerlifting and MMA. To deny that there's some sort of a difference in the male frame, there's also a lot of horseshit when it comes to what actually happens to the body during transition and how much strength you lose and how much bone mass you lose.

01:54:42.000 There's a woman named Dr. Ramona Krutzik, I think that's her name, and they interviewed her, and she's one of the very few people that's been interviewed about this as an actual endocrinologist that's not a gender transition doctor.

01:54:56.000 Because that's what a lot of them are.

01:54:58.000 A lot of the people that talk about these things and have these discussions about these things that are hashtag experts, they're actually transition doctors.

01:55:06.000 So they have a vested interest in sort of Expressing the ideology that there's no physical advantage and that these women, you know, once they've been under these hormonal treatments for X amount of years, they become physiologically a woman and there's no distinction between them and a biological woman.

01:55:27.000 But this one woman, Dr. Ramona Krutzik, she wrote an article for, I want to say it was It was either SB Nation or Bloody Elbow.

01:55:36.000 I forget what it was, but they interviewed her.

01:55:38.000 And she was saying, not only do you not lose bone density, but you maintain it because you're taking estrogen.

01:55:44.000 She's like, well, the idea is that a man has more bone density, they're thicker, they're built different, and that you would lose a lot of that in your transition to being a woman.

01:55:53.000 But you don't lose the bone density because estrogen is actually what causes people to maintain their bone density when they're older, when they're women. 0.73

01:56:02.000 That's one of the things that happens to women when they get older. 1.00

01:56:04.000 They get osteoporosis.

01:56:05.000 Part of the problem is that your body doesn't produce as much estrogen as it used to.

01:56:10.000 And so you have a lack of bone density.

01:56:11.000 One way to heighten that is to supplement with estrogen.

01:56:15.000 So it actually maintains bone density.

01:56:18.000 So it's a good argument.

01:56:19.000 But they're not the same as men. 0.78

01:56:21.000 Because they don't have testosterone anymore.

01:56:23.000 And if they're not taking exogenous testosterone, they're definitely going to have a disadvantage against men. 0.83

01:56:28.000 But they still would have an advantage against men.

01:56:30.000 Against women, rather. 0.98

01:56:31.000 They'd have a mechanical advantage.

01:56:32.000 Of course.

01:56:33.000 But there's also a mental advantage.

01:56:35.000 There's a reaction advantage.

01:56:37.000 The reaction time is quicker with men than it is with women. 0.99

01:56:41.000 There's a bunch of weird 3D space recognition advantages that men have.

01:56:47.000 It's like...

01:56:48.000 And then there's the thing that people want to pretend that there's no difference between men and women.

01:56:52.000 There's that group.

01:56:53.000 Do you know about that group? 1.00

01:56:54.000 No, but that seems like so stupid to even entertain the idea. 0.99

01:56:58.000 No, this is a common thing among the most ridiculous of the progressives, is that there's no biological difference in the sexes. 1.00

01:57:06.000 What? 1.00

01:57:07.000 How could anything support that's so dumb? 1.00

01:57:10.000 But it is dumb, but it shows you... 1.00

01:57:16.000 How insane a lot of this thinking is, is that this group think, this mass progressive thought process, that they just accept things that are totally irrational and then repeat them as ad nauseum. 0.98

01:57:28.000 Like we played this one clip where it seems like it's a transgender man, a woman to man, who's saying, she was talking, there was a Jordan Peterson debate, and she was saying there's no biological difference between the sex, and I'd be happy to unpack that for you.

01:57:44.000 Oh, really?

01:57:44.000 Oh, you'd be happy to unpack biology.

01:57:48.000 Sure.

01:57:49.000 No difference at all in our biology?

01:57:51.000 Just no.

01:57:52.000 It's not real.

01:57:53.000 Okay.

01:57:54.000 There's no biological basis in sex and gender.

01:57:57.000 What?

01:57:59.000 What did I say?

01:58:00.000 Is this an expert?

01:58:01.000 Are you a bigot?

01:58:01.000 Yes.

01:58:02.000 I'm sorry.

01:58:03.000 Are you transphobic?

01:58:03.000 Are you a bigot?

01:58:04.000 Is this an expert?

01:58:05.000 No.

01:58:06.000 But she's teaching at a college. 0.52

01:58:08.000 Oh, that's...

01:58:08.000 Yeah, that would follow...

01:58:09.000 But that's what a lot's going on. 1.00

01:58:10.000 There's a lot of that going on in colleges where people are teaching unbelievably ridiculous shit. 1.00

01:58:14.000 I got to pee. 1.00

01:58:15.000 Yep.

01:58:15.000 Go for it, buddy.

01:58:16.000 Go for it.

01:58:17.000 Oh, my God.

01:58:18.000 Da-da-da! 0.99

01:58:19.000 Tommy Bunz hasn't done the three-hour podcast in a while.

01:58:22.000 Doesn't have the kind of bladder for it.

01:58:24.000 We can go live, too, by the way.

01:58:26.000 We can go live?

01:58:26.000 We're back?

01:58:27.000 Well, it's too late.

01:58:29.000 We'll go live with Tyron when he comes in later.

01:58:32.000 People are parking in front of our garage again. 1.00

01:58:35.000 Fuckheads. 0.98

01:58:37.000 So young Jamie, this game that Tommy Bunz and Ari Shafir and Burt Kreischer went to, this was a game that you were interested in as well? 0.99

01:58:46.000 I was watching.

01:58:46.000 It was actually a really, really good game.

01:58:48.000 They took the side of Georgia, who turned out to not be the victors, but the final five minutes of the game was insane.

01:58:56.000 And you as a non-football fan could probably watch it and enjoy it too.

01:58:59.000 Really?

01:58:59.000 Yeah.

01:59:00.000 Now, let me ask you this, because this is what I was going to ask.

01:59:02.000 Is there any other sport, like football, that has the kind of attention on the college level?

01:59:09.000 Because, does basketball have that kind of attention?

01:59:11.000 Do people care as much about a championship game?

01:59:14.000 In March.

01:59:15.000 March Madness.

01:59:16.000 Oh, that's what March Madness is.

01:59:17.000 It's a marketed thing.

01:59:18.000 But not baseball.

01:59:19.000 Baseball, no. 0.98

01:59:20.000 No.

01:59:20.000 They do have a College World Series, but it happens in the summer when no one's paying attention.

01:59:24.000 Hmm.

01:59:25.000 But that's it as far as in terms of other sports, right?

01:59:28.000 I mean, there's no other ones.

01:59:30.000 Yeah, I was just trying to think.

01:59:31.000 Wrestling has got a little attention, but it's very small.

01:59:35.000 But in their world, they sell out arenas and whatnot.

01:59:38.000 It's just not televised.

01:59:39.000 Right, but in wrestling, it's really only other...

01:59:42.000 I mean, it's like wrestling fans that are into it.

01:59:45.000 It's not a national thing.

01:59:47.000 Even then, I'm pretty sure not every college has a wrestling team.

01:59:50.000 They almost all have a football team, almost all have a basketball team.

01:59:54.000 They don't all have wrestling teams.

01:59:57.000 Yeah, you know one of the things they were highlighting I was reading this article about the coaches and about how the coaches were getting these large bonuses for victory And they were saying how crazy it is that the kids that are playing aren't getting any money,

02:00:12.000 but that these fucking coaches are making shit tons of money, and that the university profits massively from these successful football programs, and yet these athletes who are damaging their brain, damaging their body, and then a large percentage of them are never even gonna go on to a career in professional sports.

02:00:33.000 So, I was just pulling this up. 0.99

02:00:35.000 Here's another pop-up, but this summer, I think it was right before the basketball season started, this scandal hit the world.

02:00:44.000 Rick Pitino is, I think he might have been running the athletic program in some capacity.

02:00:49.000 I don't know if he was the AD, but he was definitely, he's like one of the top basketball coaches in the country.

02:00:54.000 And he was getting 98% of the cash of this deal they had with Adidas.

02:01:02.000 That's so much money.

02:01:03.000 Do you know about this deal?

02:01:04.000 No, that's so much money.

02:01:06.000 He raked in 98% of the cash from the University of Louisville's current Adidas deal.

02:01:11.000 How is that possible?

02:01:15.000 It's hard to explain how it can even happen.

02:01:17.000 If you watch the movie Blue Chips from the 90s, they sort of almost tap into it, but that was 15 years even before this is happening, so there's a whole extra world going on.

02:01:27.000 Look what he said.

02:01:27.000 This is what's funny.

02:01:28.000 The reporter asked him if some of the proceeds would be shared with the university.

02:01:31.000 He says, in quotes, it's for the athletic department.

02:01:35.000 Junk replied.

02:01:36.000 How do you say his name?

02:01:37.000 Jurek.

02:01:37.000 Jurek replied.

02:01:39.000 It's for these student athletes.

02:01:41.000 It's been earmarked for them.

02:01:43.000 Ha! 0.89

02:01:44.000 In fact, under the current deal with Adidas, which expires July 1st, 98% of the cash provided by Adidas goes to one person, Rick Pitino, the now suspended head coach. 0.98

02:01:58.000 That's fucking crazy! 0.97

02:02:02.000 Look at the next sentence. 1.00

02:02:04.000 Oh, my God.

02:02:05.000 2015-2016, for example, $1.5 million went to Patino.

02:02:09.000 Under his personal services agreement with the apparel company, just $25,000 went to the program, according to the contract obtained by the Courier-Journal under the state's Public Records Act.

02:02:21.000 The year before, the department got 10 grand.

02:02:24.000 And he got 1.5 million.

02:02:25.000 That's incredible.

02:02:26.000 Why do they pay him so much?

02:02:28.000 How does it work?

02:02:29.000 He can recruit the kids to the school because he's got the name and whether or not he's got some sort of ability to sell them also, you know, I don't know that.

02:02:39.000 He can bring them in because he's got almost a franchise of national championships or at least ability to be on national TV in that big March Madness tournament I'm telling you about.

02:02:50.000 He'll get your eyes on there, which gets you with the NBA contract, which is the old dream.

02:02:55.000 They can sell that dream to them. 0.98

02:02:57.000 Those NBA deals are the best fucking deals in the world. 0.99

02:03:01.000 The guaranteed contracts to play and the shoe deals. 0.99

02:03:05.000 Shoe deals are big.

02:03:06.000 Dude, the shoe deals for those guys, the NBA guys, for the top tier guys, which is of course a very select few, but it's nine figures before they ever play ball.

02:03:16.000 They're signing like $100 million deals before they play professional basketball.

02:03:22.000 That's crazy.

02:03:23.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:03:24.000 It's fucking amazing, outrageous amounts of money. 0.97

02:03:28.000 We were talking about Under Armour. 0.98

02:03:31.000 What was the player that said nobody wants to play in Under Armour?

02:03:34.000 Kevin Durant said that.

02:03:35.000 And he sank the stock by saying that.

02:03:38.000 Because universities have deals with sneaker companies.

02:03:41.000 And that no one wanted to play for Maryland because they didn't want to play with Under Armour.

02:03:45.000 Hilarious.

02:03:45.000 Because they didn't want to wear Under Armour.

02:03:47.000 And everything just went...

02:03:50.000 Hilarious.

02:03:50.000 They've been struggling ever since.

02:03:52.000 Really?

02:03:52.000 Yes!

02:03:53.000 It's amazing to me the way Under Armour has been able to compete, period.

02:03:58.000 Like, that is so outrageous.

02:04:00.000 That's a former University of Maryland student, athlete, I think he was a student athlete.

02:04:05.000 And that he was able to start an apparel company, athletic company, and really actually compete with Adidas and Nike.

02:04:16.000 I mean, that is so nuts. 0.98

02:04:17.000 It would be like you starting a fucking car tomorrow, and then you're like, yeah, Porsche, BMW, or a Joe car. 0.99

02:04:27.000 What do you like? 0.99

02:04:28.000 That's how nuts that is, to break into that field.

02:04:31.000 Really? 1.00

02:04:31.000 Yeah, fuck yeah it is, man. 1.00

02:04:33.000 They have that shit so locked down. 1.00

02:04:35.000 They have such deep pockets. 1.00

02:04:37.000 Their levels of endorsements...

02:04:40.000 And what he started doing, the Under Armour guy, wouldn't even pay...

02:04:45.000 Now they have paid endorsed athletes.

02:04:48.000 But at first, people were just liking the gear.

02:04:51.000 He was one of the first ones that developed that...

02:04:55.000 Tight fit, breathe right, compression gear.

02:04:59.000 And he developed some of it and would give it to people he knew at University of Maryland that were now in the pro. 0.99

02:05:06.000 And they're like, I like this shit and so does my boy. 0.99

02:05:08.000 Throw us some more of that. 1.00

02:05:10.000 And it was like that.

02:05:11.000 It was just kind of...

02:05:13.000 A very organic way of developing.

02:05:17.000 It would be like if you bake something and you're like, oh, that tastes good.

02:05:19.000 Can you make me another one for me and my friends?

02:05:22.000 It was like that.

02:05:23.000 I was reading something really interesting where they were saying that they're fucking up the brand because they've put them into discount stores.

02:05:30.000 That they're trying to raise the sales, and by raising the sales, they put them into discount stores.

02:05:34.000 By putting them into discount stores, they're going to change the way people look at the brand.

02:05:38.000 It's not going to be worth as much.

02:05:39.000 That's probably very realistic, man.

02:05:41.000 Wow.

02:05:41.000 That's very interesting.

02:05:43.000 Weird.

02:05:43.000 People think so weird.

02:05:45.000 I know. 0.99

02:05:45.000 If you saw a pair of Nikes at a discount store, would you like, oh, fuck, Nike ain't wearing that. 0.99

02:05:50.000 That means zero to me. 0.99

02:05:53.000 Yeah, no.

02:05:54.000 And Nike has outlet stores, which is like discount Nikes, you know?

02:05:58.000 So that's kind of weird.

02:06:01.000 But it is true about how...

02:06:02.000 I mean, the other one is like that big baller brand.

02:06:04.000 They're basically attempting...

02:06:06.000 To compete in the apparel world.

02:06:09.000 That's LeVar Ball, right?

02:06:10.000 Yeah.

02:06:10.000 That's the guy that got in that crazy thing because his son was arrested in China for shoplifting.

02:06:15.000 Was it China?

02:06:16.000 He was in China, yeah.

02:06:17.000 He was shoplifting, and then Trump says he got him out, and the dad says he didn't get him out.

02:06:23.000 Yeah, that's him, man. 0.99

02:06:25.000 And then the dad is, you know, Trump's calling the dad a fool. 0.99

02:06:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:06:28.000 What happened? 0.99

02:06:30.000 Trump's, I mean, well, that guy's very brash.

02:06:32.000 LeVar Ball.

02:06:33.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:06:34.000 But I mean, I think, you know, that guy knows what he's doing, man.

02:06:37.000 Does he?

02:06:37.000 As far as PR, definitely.

02:06:39.000 He knows he's going to say some wild shit, and he knows people are going to be like, oh my god, what did he say? 0.92

02:06:45.000 And then he knows that that gets him more press, and it kind of just feeds itself. 0.99

02:06:49.000 Right.

02:06:50.000 And people act like... 1.00

02:06:51.000 Can you believe the fucking crazy shit that asshole just said? 1.00

02:06:54.000 And he's like, yeah, that's what I do. 1.00

02:06:55.000 And that's why you keep putting me on this show.

02:06:57.000 Sort of like Trump when he was running for president.

02:06:59.000 100%.

02:07:00.000 It's the same school of thought.

02:07:01.000 And now, though, that guy...

02:07:03.000 So...

02:07:04.000 He has a son named Lonzo who plays for the Lakers, who's a first-round draft pick, like a top-tier player from UCLA. Then his other son, he has two more sons.

02:07:15.000 One of them was on UCLA's team this year, got arrested for shoplifting in China.

02:07:20.000 If he hadn't been released, if it wasn't a highly publicized thing, he definitely could have gone to jail for a while in China. 0.99

02:07:27.000 They don't fuck around, you know? 0.92

02:07:28.000 But anyways, when he got out and came back, LeVar pulled him From school, from UCLA, and also pulled his 16-year-old son out of high school and flew them to Lithuania, 0.98

02:07:44.000 where they're now playing, both of them are playing professional basketball in Lithuania.

02:07:50.000 Professional.

02:07:51.000 Air quotes.

02:07:52.000 Jamie did the air quotes.

02:07:53.000 Yeah, that's got to be in big air quotes.

02:07:54.000 Yeah.

02:07:55.000 For sure.

02:07:56.000 Well, I mean, there's definitely some good players that come out of there, but it's like, I mean, it is a circus over there.

02:08:02.000 If you see how it was when they arrived, it's crazy, the reception, you know?

02:08:08.000 So what is he trying to do now?

02:08:09.000 He's trying to start some new league?

02:08:11.000 He's trying to do a couple things.

02:08:12.000 He started a brand.

02:08:14.000 Big baller brand.

02:08:15.000 And, you know, that's like their ball and came out with these shoes.

02:08:20.000 They're basically $500 retail sneakers.

02:08:23.000 And if you're like, that's expensive. 1.00

02:08:24.000 He's like, because you're not a big baller, bitch. 1.00

02:08:25.000 That's why. 0.99

02:08:27.000 But are they like made by a real organization like Adidas?

02:08:31.000 No, no, no.

02:08:31.000 Jamie says no.

02:08:32.000 No, no.

02:08:32.000 They're not made by it.

02:08:33.000 Definitely not.

02:08:34.000 And by the way, the son that's in the NBA turned down Real money. 0.58

02:08:39.000 Like, real fucking money because he was like, the father demanded that you basically pay to develop this brand from the big apparel guys. 0.95

02:08:50.000 Like, give us like a billion dollar contract and like, develop this brand. 0.99

02:08:55.000 What?

02:08:55.000 And they were like, no, we're not doing that.

02:08:58.000 And he's like, well then we're not even gonna talk to you about endorsing my son.

02:09:01.000 What?

02:09:01.000 Seriously?

02:09:02.000 100%, yes.

02:09:04.000 Then, now he's had like, there's so much, Conversation about the brand, that he's definitely elevated the awareness of it.

02:09:14.000 What we don't know, what nobody knows, is to what level are they actually selling this apparel.

02:09:21.000 Because they have everything.

02:09:23.000 They have shirts and shoes.

02:09:24.000 They're getting...

02:09:24.000 They just got it rated an F by the Better Business Bureau.

02:09:27.000 That's right.

02:09:27.000 Because their shoes are not the ones they sold.

02:09:30.000 They pre-sold a bunch of shoes, and the ones that people are getting are not what they bought.

02:09:34.000 So people are pissed.

02:09:35.000 There's no way to return those.

02:09:37.000 Or refund.

02:09:38.000 Refund or exchange them.

02:09:39.000 Yeah.

02:09:40.000 And they're just telling people...

02:09:41.000 Literally, I think I read that the customer service people told you, oh, you must be a broke baller then.

02:09:45.000 Yeah.

02:09:45.000 If you're not satisfied.

02:09:47.000 Yeah.

02:09:47.000 That's literally what they're saying.

02:09:48.000 Oh, my God.

02:09:50.000 But he's also...

02:09:51.000 I mean, he's...

02:09:51.000 So, anyways, he's...

02:09:53.000 He took these kids to Lithuania.

02:09:55.000 They're going to play basketball.

02:09:57.000 He basically says they're going to be on the Lakers when my three sons are going to be Lakers.

02:10:01.000 And we have no idea really realistically whether the two younger sons even have...

02:10:08.000 We don't know, to be fair, whether they're going to be NBA-quality players yet.

02:10:13.000 Clearly one is.

02:10:14.000 The one is on the Lakers.

02:10:16.000 So we don't know if that's going to pan out in any way, shape, or form.

02:10:19.000 He also talked about developing a league...

02:10:23.000 For, like, kids that are coming out of high school that don't want to go to college and play in a league where they get paid, like a salary, you know, a reasonable salary, which is an idea that a lot of people think is fascinating.

02:10:38.000 I don't know logistically whether he could pull that off.

02:10:42.000 You know, that's kind of a...

02:10:43.000 I go, no, for sure.

02:10:45.000 Right.

02:10:45.000 I mean, but the idea is one that people have talked about for years because college athletes...

02:10:51.000 Generate a lot of revenue. 0.99

02:10:52.000 They're getting fucked. 0.99

02:10:53.000 Yeah, don't get paid. 1.00

02:10:53.000 College athletes are getting pimped out. 1.00

02:10:55.000 Yeah.

02:10:55.000 100%.

02:10:56.000 Especially in, like, football and basketball.

02:10:57.000 Well, you were telling me, I was talking to Jamie when you went to pee, about how big the game was that you went to see. 0.99

02:11:03.000 Oh my fucking God, yeah. 0.99

02:11:04.000 And I was saying, what about baseball? 0.99

02:11:06.000 Is baseball like that? 0.98

02:11:07.000 Like, no, nobody gives a fuck about college baseball. 0.96

02:11:09.000 Basketball is a little bit, you said March Madness. 0.94

02:11:11.000 Definitely popular.

02:11:12.000 But those are the big schools.

02:11:13.000 But college football?

02:11:14.000 Yeah, that's...

02:11:15.000 Big time.

02:11:16.000 And it's worth billions of dollars.

02:11:18.000 Many billions.

02:11:19.000 Which is crazy that those kids aren't getting paid. 0.98

02:11:22.000 That doesn't make any fucking sense. 0.90

02:11:24.000 Well, I got a free scholarship, Joe. 0.98

02:11:25.000 I got to go to school for free and learn.

02:11:27.000 Oh, great.

02:11:27.000 Get $25,000 a year's worth of free education.

02:11:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:11:31.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:11:32.000 I tend to agree. 1.00

02:11:34.000 Does it matter, Jamie?

02:11:35.000 There's a couple kids.

02:11:36.000 Interesting story that came out earlier this year.

02:11:38.000 He's on one of the teams that did really good.

02:11:40.000 UFC, or UCF, I'm sorry.

02:11:42.000 Yeah.

02:11:42.000 UCF's kicker was a YouTuber as the season started, and he got in trouble because he was making profit off of his likeness.

02:11:59.000 You don't own people.

02:12:01.000 That's what drives me crazy.

02:12:02.000 It's like you don't own people.

02:12:03.000 They're providing a service that makes you an extraordinary amount of money, and yet you're keeping all of it.

02:12:09.000 Like that Patino thing, 1.5 million, the school...

02:12:12.000 For me.

02:12:12.000 I'll give him 10 grand.

02:12:13.000 Yeah.

02:12:14.000 I'll give school 10 grand.

02:12:15.000 That's a lot of the money.

02:12:16.000 Yeah.

02:12:16.000 That's a lot of money.

02:12:17.000 Oh, that's the argument.

02:12:18.000 I'll give you $10,000.

02:12:20.000 I know.

02:12:20.000 I think the thing about...

02:12:22.000 Fucking assholes. 1.00

02:12:23.000 The people who really argue the free education thing and how that should be of value is because... 1.00

02:12:31.000 They ain't worth a shit. 0.96

02:12:33.000 That's why they think that's awesome. 0.99

02:12:35.000 Your skill level is not impressive, and you don't generate millions and billions of dollars, so you go, there's fucking $100,000 worth of free education there. 0.75

02:12:45.000 It's like, yeah, but I'm bringing $10 million to the table, bro. 0.94

02:12:48.000 That's the thing.

02:12:49.000 And here's the big thing.

02:12:50.000 How much damage are they getting in that four years?

02:12:54.000 How much damage are they doing to their body?

02:12:56.000 Oh, in football?

02:12:57.000 Yeah.

02:12:58.000 In high-level, Division I, FBS football, a lot of those dudes are playing...

02:13:04.000 I mean, they're playing basically with, you know, the next NFL players.

02:13:08.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:13:08.000 Yeah, they're fucking each other up. 0.97

02:13:10.000 They're fucking each other up, and the odds of their body getting damaged to the point where they can never compete professionally are very high. 0.99

02:13:16.000 Oh, definitely. 0.87

02:13:17.000 Yeah, so if you think of like, there was a statistic about NBA or, excuse me, NFL players, like how many of them make it into the fourth year.

02:13:26.000 And it's very low.

02:13:27.000 Yeah, the Not For Long League.

02:13:29.000 That's what they call it, yeah.

02:13:29.000 Is that what they call it?

02:13:30.000 That's the nickname for the NFL. Ooh.

02:13:32.000 Not For Long.

02:13:33.000 Yeah, the average NFL career is like three point some seasons.

02:13:36.000 Right.

02:13:37.000 So think of that.

02:13:38.000 You're basically trying to outrun that through college.

02:13:43.000 Yeah.

02:13:43.000 And then make it into the pros.

02:13:45.000 Yeah, that's why you really, from a business perspective, you really have to support guys coming out of college early to the NFL. Oh, 100%.

02:13:52.000 I mean, there's people who are like...

02:13:54.000 What about your education? 0.99

02:13:56.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:13:57.000 I'll read a book while I'm balling, bitch! 1.00

02:14:00.000 I'll go back. 1.00

02:14:01.000 Go back with my free time, man.

02:14:03.000 Yeah, go back.

02:14:04.000 You're still only going to be 25 years old when your career is over. 1.00

02:14:06.000 That's fucking nuts. 1.00

02:14:07.000 I know. 1.00

02:14:08.000 There's millions on the table.

02:14:09.000 Millions.

02:14:10.000 You're 22?

02:14:11.000 Come on.

02:14:12.000 Although, do you ever think about how poorly you would handle that?

02:14:15.000 I think about it now a lot.

02:14:17.000 If I had been 22 and someone was like, here's $10 million.

02:14:21.000 I'd be like, what?

02:14:22.000 I would definitely not have been able to handle that well.

02:14:28.000 Yeah, I think about that hardcore.

02:14:29.000 I think about, like, what if I won the lottery when I was 20? 0.98

02:14:32.000 You go nuts! 0.99

02:14:34.000 You go nuts. 1.00

02:14:35.000 I got diamonds in my jacket, man. 0.99

02:14:37.000 Check it out.

02:14:38.000 I got diamonds on my Teefus.

02:14:39.000 My buttons are all diamonds. 0.99

02:14:40.000 I got diamonds on my dickhole. 0.99

02:14:42.000 Definitely. 0.99

02:14:44.000 Yeah, I think it's like we were talking about earlier about a guy being rich and having rich children. 0.96

02:14:52.000 Struggle is fucking very important for you. 0.95

02:14:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:14:55.000 It's very good for you.

02:14:56.000 It's very important for you.

02:14:58.000 It builds character.

02:14:59.000 It builds resolve.

02:15:00.000 Respect.

02:15:01.000 Yeah.

02:15:02.000 Yeah.

02:15:03.000 Respect money.

02:15:04.000 How many professional athletes who make millions of dollars work out as hard as my friend Cameron Haynes?

02:15:10.000 Right.

02:15:10.000 Think of that.

02:15:11.000 That fucking guy has a regular job, dude. 1.00

02:15:14.000 Works for the Department of Water and Power in Oregon. 1.00

02:15:16.000 Does he really?

02:15:17.000 Yep.

02:15:18.000 9 to 5. Regular job.

02:15:21.000 During his lunch hour, he doesn't work 9 to 5. He works like 7 to 4. And one of the reasons why he's got an extra hour in there is because he runs during his lunch break.

02:15:34.000 So he takes like two-hour lunches and runs for two fucking hours, runs the hills, and then comes back and finishes out the rest of the eight hours of the day. 0.71

02:15:43.000 I bet that dude feels good all day, though. 0.99

02:15:44.000 Just savage.

02:15:45.000 Yeah.

02:15:46.000 He doesn't feel good.

02:15:47.000 He doesn't want to feel good.

02:15:48.000 He doesn't be sore.

02:15:49.000 You think he's in pain?

02:15:49.000 All the time.

02:15:50.000 Yeah.

02:15:50.000 But he's happy, I was saying.

02:15:52.000 He's happy in pain.

02:15:53.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

02:15:54.000 I mean, he gets shit done. 0.99

02:15:56.000 He's not grimacing in pain. 1.00

02:15:57.000 He's like, this shit hurts. 1.00

02:15:58.000 I like it. 1.00

02:15:59.000 There's a mindset of those people, though, that can do those ultra-marathons.

02:16:02.000 That's a different world inside your dome, man.

02:16:05.000 You've got some darkness in there.

02:16:08.000 What was that woman that smashed all of them? 1.00

02:16:10.000 Courtney DeWalter?

02:16:11.000 Yeah.

02:16:11.000 She's on the podcast.

02:16:12.000 Yeah, isn't she a teacher? 1.00

02:16:13.000 Did you listen to the podcast?

02:16:14.000 I did not.

02:16:14.000 She's amazing.

02:16:15.000 She eats nachos, drinks beer, eats candy. 0.99

02:16:18.000 She's eating candy when she's hanging out with us. 1.00

02:16:19.000 But what's going on in her brain, man?

02:16:21.000 That's what I want to see.

02:16:22.000 I want to see a CT scan. 0.99

02:16:23.000 She's a straight-up savage. 1.00

02:16:24.000 I'll tell you what, she was telling us about how she had some sort of retina edema where she was almost blind because her contacts fucked up or something like that and her eyeballs were bleeding and she couldn't see and she fell, 1.00

02:16:40.000 cracked her fucking head open, like blood pouring down her head. 1.00

02:16:44.000 Still one. 1.00

02:16:45.000 Couldn't see.

02:16:46.000 Couldn't see where her feet were while she was running.

02:16:49.000 Her brain cannot be the same.

02:16:50.000 It's not.

02:16:51.000 She's just tough.

02:16:53.000 There's mental toughness that some people have that is almost unexplainable.

02:16:59.000 Like, what makes them that tough?

02:17:02.000 I don't understand it.

02:17:04.000 The ability to block out all the negative voices, the stop voices, I mean...

02:17:09.000 Well, think about personalities, right?

02:17:10.000 Like a personality like Burt, that could be the life of the party.

02:17:13.000 That's not me.

02:17:14.000 I'm not that guy.

02:17:15.000 I've never been that guy.

02:17:17.000 I mean, I can...

02:17:20.000 If we're all hanging around together, we're all drinking, I can make everybody laugh.

02:17:23.000 I can be silly and we can all have a good time together.

02:17:25.000 But I don't gravitate towards that thinking, that kind of behavior. 0.88

02:17:29.000 Whereas Bert can walk into a liquor store and have everybody sing along to I Would Die For You.

02:17:34.000 He's got his phone out and people are dancing.

02:17:36.000 Yeah, it's a genuine personality type.

02:17:39.000 That's who he is.

02:17:40.000 That's his personality type.

02:17:41.000 Some people have that personality type where They'll get up at 4.30 in the morning and it's dark outside and they relish the fact that they don't want to put their running shoes on and they don't want to hit that mountain and run.

02:17:55.000 They relish the fact that they're going to struggle.

02:17:57.000 They like it.

02:17:58.000 They like the pain.

02:18:00.000 They like the stinging of the lungs as your lungs struggle to fill with air.

02:18:06.000 They like it.

02:18:08.000 True.

02:18:08.000 Yeah, they like also the fact that other people can't do what they can do.

02:18:12.000 They like the fact that there's people that are in bed that are comfortably asleep while they're out there doing it, and it gives them an edge.

02:18:19.000 Sure.

02:18:20.000 Yeah.

02:18:20.000 Well, what makes a person's personality to be this outgoing extrovert like Bert Kreischer?

02:18:26.000 What makes that stoic individual that can sit and go over, you know, like an accountant who can just sit and go over things for hours and hours, a coder?

02:18:36.000 Someone who could sit in front of a computer and go over 10, 12 hours a day.

02:18:40.000 It's a certain mindset, yeah.

02:18:41.000 It's a different kind of human, right?

02:18:43.000 Yeah, because both of those personalities I could never entertain, you know?

02:18:49.000 Yeah.

02:18:49.000 Just so far from what I am.

02:18:51.000 I'm fascinated by personalities.

02:18:52.000 Yeah.

02:18:53.000 I just find...

02:18:55.000 There's so many variables as to what makes a person who they are and how it changes over time and who you are the more you consider yourself.

02:19:05.000 I did a podcast yesterday about meditation.

02:19:08.000 It was all about meditation with Dan Harris from Good Morning America who's a big proponent of meditation and this guy.

02:19:16.000 Jeff Warren, who wrote this book, Head Trip, a very, very interesting guy, who is his meditation teacher.

02:19:22.000 We're just talking about thought processes and the mind and managing the mind and managing the way you do things, don't do things, and how much of these little weird kinks and pitfalls can just trip you up and fuck you up in your life.

02:19:35.000 Imagine Louis C.K. without this desire to beat off in front of women. 0.92

02:19:40.000 Let's say he did that 10 times in his whole life.

02:19:43.000 Imagine if you could get to him before those 10 times and go, hey man, look, you're a real nice guy.

02:19:48.000 You've always been friendly to people.

02:19:50.000 You give good advice as a comedian.

02:19:53.000 You can't beat off in front of people.

02:19:55.000 It's going to cost you like $50 million one day.

02:19:58.000 You're like, what?

02:19:59.000 You think so?

02:20:00.000 Yeah.

02:20:01.000 One day it's going to cost you $50 million if you just beat off in front of people.

02:20:04.000 No one's going to work with you.

02:20:06.000 So just don't do that.

02:20:07.000 Yeah, don't do that.

02:20:08.000 Or, here's what you could do. 1.00

02:20:11.000 Pay a hooker and say, I want to beat off in front of you. 1.00

02:20:14.000 And she'll go, okay. 1.00

02:20:15.000 And then you give her a thousand bucks, or whatever it costs, and you beat off in front of her.

02:20:19.000 You could do that.

02:20:21.000 And you'd be like, that's not the same.

02:20:25.000 But, like, what would make a person...

02:20:28.000 What makes a person...

02:20:30.000 Tech, really.

02:20:31.000 Yeah.

02:20:31.000 What is it inside your head?

02:20:35.000 It's all your experiences, really, that become your personality, I think.

02:20:38.000 There's that...

02:20:40.000 There's your experiences.

02:20:41.000 There's managing your particular biology.

02:20:45.000 There's so many different things.

02:20:47.000 Yeah, because you're at the age now, too, where you can see with your children, do you ever see how they're a certain age now, but you go, I saw that trait in you when you were one.

02:20:59.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:00.000 You see the stuff that's natural in someone, the natural personality trait, and then you sprinkle life on top of that.

02:21:07.000 It starts to develop who the person becomes.

02:21:10.000 Well, your son is probably just now starting to talk.

02:21:12.000 Yeah.

02:21:13.000 You'll start to have a little conversation with them, and then you'll start to see you in them, and that's where it gets really weird.

02:21:19.000 Really?

02:21:19.000 Like, oh no, you've inherited all my craziness.

02:21:22.000 You see that in your kids.

02:21:23.000 My nine-year-old in particular.

02:21:24.000 Really? 0.74

02:21:25.000 She's got a lot of my crazy in her. 0.64

02:21:26.000 Yeah. 0.56

02:21:27.000 You totally see yourself.

02:21:29.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:30.000 She gets obsessed with things.

02:21:32.000 Like, obsessed.

02:21:33.000 Where she'll just do them all day long. 1.00

02:21:36.000 Like, we went on a vacation, and we were walking back from the resort.

02:21:40.000 She did cartwheels all the way back from the resort to the room. 0.88

02:21:45.000 It was a half mile.

02:21:47.000 She just did cartwheels over and over and over again.

02:21:50.000 She just gets nuts about stuff.

02:21:52.000 Is it the kind of thing where you're like, hey, you should probably stop doing that?

02:21:55.000 No.

02:21:55.000 Let her do it.

02:21:56.000 I think as long as your kids aren't hurting themselves and hurting other people, the more you say, hey, don't do that, the more they're going to want to do that.

02:22:06.000 Sure.

02:22:07.000 It's natural.

02:22:08.000 Yeah.

02:22:08.000 What I try to do is encourage healthy things.

02:22:11.000 That's it.

02:22:12.000 When it comes to candy and sugar and stuff like that, I try to tell them, yeah, it tastes great.

02:22:17.000 It tastes amazing.

02:22:18.000 But you're really only supposed to have a little bit of it.

02:22:23.000 It's bad for your body.

02:22:25.000 I don't just give them this, hey, you can't eat candy.

02:22:28.000 Hey, you can't do that.

02:22:29.000 A little bit's good.

02:22:30.000 A little bit's fine.

02:22:31.000 Let's have a little bit.

02:22:32.000 Let's enjoy it.

02:22:33.000 But let's understand what it is.

02:22:35.000 Let's be aware of what it is.

02:22:38.000 But don't be afraid of it.

02:22:39.000 Don't run from it.

02:22:42.000 Nobody died because they had ice cream once a week.

02:22:44.000 Sure.

02:22:45.000 It's not going to hurt you. 0.99

02:22:46.000 Just don't have it every fucking night. 0.99

02:22:47.000 Yeah, just don't get crazy. 0.99

02:22:48.000 Don't let it become a part of everything who you are.

02:22:51.000 And one of the things that I do the most, though, is encourage them.

02:22:54.000 What do they enjoy doing?

02:22:57.000 What do you enjoy doing?

02:22:58.000 You know, like, my youngest one loves art.

02:23:01.000 Loves to draw.

02:23:02.000 Loves it.

02:23:03.000 Just constantly drawing.

02:23:04.000 That's awesome.

02:23:05.000 And I'm like, let's draw.

02:23:05.000 Let's do some art.

02:23:07.000 It's fun.

02:23:08.000 It's like there's something, like, find out whatever it is where you can find this avenue for expression.

02:23:14.000 And I want to encourage that as much as I can because I feel like if there's anything in this life that'll guarantee you some satisfaction or some feeling of accomplishment or some Some way to fuel your passions.

02:23:30.000 It's find something that really hits your switches.

02:23:34.000 Find that thing.

02:23:35.000 Like, you found it, right?

02:23:37.000 You found it with stand-up?

02:23:38.000 Yeah, totally.

02:23:39.000 I mean, would you imagine doing something else other than stand-up?

02:23:42.000 No, of course not.

02:23:43.000 I mean, at this point, I don't know.

02:23:44.000 I tell people that all the time, actually.

02:23:46.000 It's like, that's the thing you become aware of, I think, when you get older.

02:23:49.000 You're like, I'm so lucky.

02:23:52.000 That I do the thing I really like doing the most.

02:23:56.000 Yeah.

02:23:56.000 That's really the thing.

02:23:57.000 And then you meet people...

02:23:58.000 I meet people all the time, but I talk to people who...

02:24:02.000 I'm just not happy with...

02:24:04.000 They're just like, I'm not happy with my life and this and that.

02:24:06.000 I'm like, what is it you really want to do?

02:24:08.000 And they go, I don't know.

02:24:09.000 Real question.

02:24:10.000 Real question.

02:24:11.000 If somebody...

02:24:12.000 Wanted to trade lives. 0.83

02:24:14.000 Jeff Bezos wanted to trade lives.

02:24:16.000 You get to be Jeff Bezos.

02:24:17.000 You get $105 billion, but you can't do stand-up anymore.

02:24:20.000 No, because I love it.

02:24:23.000 That's so hard for people to imagine that. 0.99

02:24:25.000 Well, no, because I know that sounds like a comical amount of money and that, like, who the fuck would turn that down? 0.87

02:24:32.000 But it's like, I don't really feel like I'm turning something down because I get so much... 0.95

02:24:38.000 Pleasure and joy out of doing what I do.

02:24:41.000 So it's so fun.

02:24:41.000 Could you imagine if you made that deal and you came back to the comedy store and you're watching somebody just kill?

02:24:46.000 And you'd be like, fuck, I want to go up. 0.99

02:24:48.000 And they're like, nah man, you got to take your spaceship home now. 0.98

02:24:52.000 And you're sitting around writing things down when you think they're funny and you never get to do it.

02:24:56.000 Just giving it to people.

02:24:57.000 You take it.

02:24:57.000 See if you can make it work.

02:24:58.000 Do you remember Tom Agna?

02:25:00.000 He's a really funny comedian.

02:25:02.000 And apparently he lives in Thailand now. 0.97

02:25:06.000 And just fucking retired on his Writers Guild money. 0.98

02:25:11.000 Really? 0.98

02:25:11.000 And his mortgage is like 500 bucks a month. 0.98

02:25:14.000 And Neil Brennan went to see him last week in Thailand.

02:25:18.000 Really?

02:25:19.000 Yeah.

02:25:19.000 And he was a comic?

02:25:20.000 Yep, he's a funny comic.

02:25:22.000 I knew him from Boston.

02:25:23.000 Really good guy.

02:25:24.000 There's Tom Agna.

02:25:25.000 Really good guy.

02:25:26.000 And he's retired there now.

02:25:27.000 Lives in Thailand.

02:25:28.000 Good for him.

02:25:29.000 Just on the beach, just kicking back.

02:25:31.000 And apparently he writes still. 0.99

02:25:32.000 He'll still write stuff for people, but doesn't give a fuck anymore. 0.99

02:25:36.000 Good for him, man. 0.99

02:25:38.000 Yeah, I mean, I hear about things like that, and I go, wow, he did it.

02:25:42.000 He figured out a way to do it.

02:25:43.000 He figured out a way to get off the bus.

02:25:45.000 Yeah.

02:25:46.000 I don't think I'm getting off. 1.00

02:25:47.000 I feel like I'm going to George Carlin this motherfucker. 0.99

02:25:50.000 Just keep driving it? 1.00

02:25:50.000 Yeah, I feel like one day I'm going to die in a hotel room somewhere. 1.00

02:25:53.000 80 years old on the road.

02:25:55.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:25:55.000 I mean, sometimes I think about, like, God damn, how much longer am I going to do this for?

02:26:00.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:26:00.000 Because it feels like there's too much time still ahead of me. 0.97

02:26:05.000 You know what I mean, though?

02:26:06.000 But, I mean, like, I go, like, wait, I'm going to do this for 25 more years or something? 0.99

02:26:11.000 That's fucking nuts. 0.99

02:26:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:26:12.000 The only thing that excites me as much is outdoor stuff. 0.99

02:26:15.000 Yeah, you really love that shit. 1.00

02:26:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:26:17.000 I'm kind of jealous of all your hobbies. 1.00

02:26:20.000 But not, I mean, just that you, I'm jealous of the fact that you're passionate about, like, hunting, shooting pool, jujitsu, you know, archery, all that shit. 0.97

02:26:32.000 I'm like, God damn, I wish I had, like, that much passion for at least one other thing, you know? 0.97

02:26:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:26:40.000 I just think I'm crazy. 0.99

02:26:41.000 I think I find these things and then I get obsessed with them.

02:26:44.000 I'm lucky that there's...

02:26:46.000 I have to manage those things.

02:26:48.000 I have to be careful.

02:26:50.000 I'm lucky I don't know how to fix cars.

02:26:53.000 If I knew how to fix cars...

02:26:54.000 I entertained this idea for a while of building a car from scratch.

02:26:58.000 Really?

02:26:58.000 Of getting a frame and then starting to put suspension on it.

02:27:01.000 And I said, no!

02:27:02.000 You've got to stop!

02:27:03.000 You can't do this.

02:27:04.000 This will take too much time.

02:27:05.000 You can't do this.

02:27:06.000 And I would like it.

02:27:07.000 I would like it.

02:27:08.000 I'd start wiring things.

02:27:10.000 I'm surprised you don't at least get a place in the woods.

02:27:13.000 I think that's something we're going to happen.

02:27:14.000 I'm scared of that, too.

02:27:15.000 Yeah.

02:27:15.000 I'm scared of that, too.

02:27:16.000 You know, when we lived in Boulder, I liked it a lot, dude.

02:27:21.000 I liked it a lot.

02:27:22.000 I went to that house.

02:27:23.000 Yeah.

02:27:24.000 It's beautiful.

02:27:25.000 Yeah.

02:27:25.000 So peaceful up there, right?

02:27:27.000 Amazing. 1.00

02:27:27.000 Just woods and mountain lions, eating your dog and shit. 1.00

02:27:30.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:27:30.000 It's just weird. 1.00

02:27:31.000 Yeah.

02:27:33.000 I don't know, man.

02:27:35.000 I just have to...

02:27:36.000 For me, it's always like, make sure...

02:27:39.000 There's almost like there's two me's.

02:27:41.000 There's the manager me.

02:27:42.000 It's like, hey, hey, hey, hold on.

02:27:44.000 Before we embark on this journey, let's take a look at where this could go wrong.

02:27:48.000 Let's take a look at where this can go before I release the hounds.

02:27:51.000 And then there's the other part that's like, just wants to just go for it.

02:27:54.000 Go do things.

02:27:55.000 I want a hobby, though, dude.

02:27:57.000 Do you?

02:27:57.000 What kind?

02:27:58.000 I don't know.

02:27:58.000 Want to go bow hunting with me?

02:28:01.000 Bow hunting.

02:28:02.000 I would go to a range first to see how much I dig.

02:28:04.000 I've shot an arrow, bow and arrow, but it's been like 25 years.

02:28:10.000 I got a range here.

02:28:11.000 Oh, you have a range here?

02:28:12.000 Yeah, there's an indoor archery range in this place.

02:28:14.000 Okay.

02:28:16.000 This weekend, I'm getting a thing called Techno Hunt installed.

02:28:21.000 Techno Hunt is, have you ever seen that video game where you hit a golf ball and the virtual golf ball rolls on the screen?

02:28:28.000 Yeah, they make that with archery.

02:28:30.000 You're doing that?

02:28:31.000 With bow hunting.

02:28:32.000 Here?

02:28:32.000 Yep.

02:28:33.000 So the animals walk across the screen and you shoot at the animals with a regular compound bow.

02:28:39.000 And instead of having sharp pointed tips, this is the game right here.

02:28:44.000 You have a tip that has a flat head, like the head of a nail.

02:28:49.000 And so these animals walk across the screen and you literally shoot at the target.

02:28:55.000 And like, watch, it'll show you like...

02:28:57.000 It's going to be like this?

02:28:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:28:59.000 It's coming this weekend, bro.

02:29:02.000 See, watch how it hits, where he shoots it.

02:29:05.000 You would want to get right there, right behind the arm.

02:29:07.000 Bam! 0.98

02:29:08.000 Perfect shot. 0.99

02:29:09.000 So that's going to be a good kill.

02:29:10.000 So it shows where the thing hit, and it shows your score and your vitals and stuff like that.

02:29:15.000 That's very cool.

02:29:16.000 You're going to be really into this.

02:29:18.000 I'm obsessed.

02:29:20.000 It's crazy, though.

02:29:20.000 Yeah, Ari, Bert, and I went to Topgolf.

02:29:23.000 You know what that is?

02:29:23.000 Oh, that's in Vegas, right?

02:29:25.000 Is that on the top of the...

02:29:26.000 Exactly.

02:29:26.000 They have one in Vegas, and they have, I don't know, 25 locations.

02:29:30.000 Oh, they're all over the place?

02:29:31.000 Yeah, we stayed there for like...

02:29:33.000 Hours.

02:29:34.000 Hours.

02:29:34.000 We thought we were going to play like a round, but it just became addictive and fun.

02:29:39.000 We just kept doing it over.

02:29:40.000 It's not just driving?

02:29:42.000 So you have like a bay, right?

02:29:43.000 Right, and then like your own tee, and the three of you put your names in the system, and you get a real golf ball, and they track the balls.

02:29:54.000 So like when you hit it, there's targets that you can go for points.

02:29:58.000 So, like, you hit that flag.

02:30:00.000 So it knows, like, Ari hit the flag, and it, like, so you get, like, eight points.

02:30:04.000 And then it'll be, like, your next ball's worth double.

02:30:07.000 And if you hit the blue flag, it's going to be, like, 16 points.

02:30:10.000 So, like, and then there's different games within the system.

02:30:14.000 You can go just for, like, chip shots.

02:30:16.000 You can go for distance.

02:30:17.000 Anyways, we just, man, I thought we were going to play, like, an hour.

02:30:20.000 I think we saved four hours.

02:30:22.000 That's crazy.

02:30:24.000 And we were all, like, we've got to find another Topgolf.

02:30:26.000 Like, we were...

02:30:27.000 We were really, really into it, man.

02:30:28.000 And you guys don't even play golf.

02:30:30.000 No, I mean, I know those two used to play, like Ari said he played regularly a long time ago.

02:30:36.000 Same with Burt.

02:30:37.000 They both had much better shots than me, but I was equally obsessed with it.

02:30:40.000 Like, I didn't care that I was even shitting the bed.

02:30:42.000 Wow. 0.66

02:30:43.000 I was having so much fun doing it.

02:30:46.000 There's so many different things you could do.

02:30:48.000 That's why when people tell me that they're bored, I mean, unless you're broken, there's nothing you can do.

02:30:52.000 But even then, there's so many physical activities that you could do that are free.

02:30:55.000 I don't understand.

02:30:56.000 I'm not bored by any means.

02:30:57.000 I just like...

02:30:59.000 Um, you know, throwing myself into an activity like that.

02:31:03.000 So you need a hobby?

02:31:04.000 I think so.

02:31:05.000 Why don't you get into Jiu-Jitsu?

02:31:06.000 Nah.

02:31:07.000 No?

02:31:07.000 You're a big guy.

02:31:08.000 See the guns.

02:31:09.000 I never liked wrestling.

02:31:13.000 I wrestled one year.

02:31:14.000 I hated it. 0.90

02:31:15.000 Too gay? 0.97

02:31:16.000 I just don't like having, like... 0.99

02:31:17.000 Guys on top of you? 0.99

02:31:18.000 Yeah, and I don't like, you know, my neck being jacked or any of that shit. 0.98

02:31:22.000 I never liked, you know... 0.94

02:31:25.000 How about Muay Thai?

02:31:26.000 I like throwing punches.

02:31:27.000 That's cool.

02:31:28.000 I like that.

02:31:29.000 Yeah, just taking a Muay Thai class.

02:31:31.000 Learn how to kick the bag.

02:31:32.000 Learn how to hit the pads.

02:31:33.000 Maybe.

02:31:34.000 Learn how to use your defense.

02:31:36.000 Move.

02:31:36.000 Push away.

02:31:37.000 I like that.

02:31:38.000 Maybe photography.

02:31:39.000 I like photography. 1.00

02:31:40.000 Yeah, when an old lady tries to pinch your ass after a show, you sweep the leg. 1.00

02:31:43.000 Sweep the leg, knock her out. 1.00

02:31:44.000 Whoosh! 0.95

02:31:45.000 Boom! 0.99

02:31:46.000 Take her down. 1.00

02:31:47.000 Whoosh!

02:31:48.000 Get some good press next day.

02:31:51.000 Can you imagine?

02:31:52.000 Did you see that thing with Josh Hom from Queens of the Stone Age?

02:31:57.000 Oh yes, the photographer! 0.99

02:31:59.000 What in the fuck was going on? 0.99

02:32:02.000 Apparently the later story was like, well her flash was really fucking bothering everybody. 1.00

02:32:06.000 Oh, was it? 0.94

02:32:07.000 She wasn't supposed to have a flash going.

02:32:10.000 Oh! 1.00

02:32:11.000 But, that was not okay, the way that that shit went down, man. 1.00

02:32:15.000 Yeah, you're supposed to go, hey lady, turn the fucking flesh off. 1.00

02:32:18.000 He was, wasn't part of his thing, the guy was trying to kick the camera, but he like kicked her in the head or something? 0.99

02:32:22.000 Well, he said he was kicking equipment around and he accidentally kicked, he made a bunch of bullshit excuses. 0.98

02:32:26.000 It's super deliberate, you can see it. 0.99

02:32:27.000 Super!

02:32:27.000 Yeah.

02:32:28.000 He kicked her in the face! 1.00

02:32:29.000 Yeah. 0.87

02:32:29.000 Like the camera's like right here and he kicks the camera and he hits her in the mug. 0.87

02:32:33.000 Yeah, no, he fucked her up. 0.99

02:32:35.000 Well, in his defense, though, he might have been, like, super frustrated if that was the case. 0.99

02:32:39.000 Yeah.

02:32:39.000 That someone was, like, flashing in his face over and over and over again.

02:32:42.000 And by the way, I can totally see, you know, losing your shit on stage. 0.99

02:32:45.000 I think it's happened to everybody. 1.00

02:32:46.000 I totally see it.

02:32:47.000 But it's not okay.

02:32:47.000 Not kick at someone.

02:32:49.000 No, no, no.

02:32:49.000 But I've wanted to.

02:32:50.000 I can see saying something. 0.93

02:32:51.000 I've wanted to kick someone.

02:32:53.000 Have you? 0.50

02:32:53.000 For sure. 0.50

02:32:54.000 I mean, over the course of a whole career, yeah.

02:32:56.000 Oh, yeah. 0.55

02:32:57.000 I've wanted to kick someone. 0.80

02:32:58.000 You know what's interesting? 0.83

02:32:59.000 I watched...

02:33:00.000 I did Long Beach.

02:33:02.000 I did that...

02:33:04.000 What is it, the Terrace Theater?

02:33:06.000 I forget what theater is in Long Beach. 0.53

02:33:08.000 Big-ass theater in Long Beach.

02:33:10.000 Yeah.

02:33:10.000 Great theater.

02:33:11.000 Really weird.

02:33:12.000 Because there's no...

02:33:13.000 You could never have this theater today.

02:33:15.000 It would be completely illegal.

02:33:16.000 Because there's...

02:33:18.000 The way to get out, like the rows, the rows are like 70 seats long.

02:33:24.000 And there's no aisle in the middles.

02:33:27.000 There's aisle on the left side, aisle on the right side.

02:33:29.000 And that's it.

02:33:30.000 But the whole span in front of you is just seats.

02:33:33.000 It's amazing to perform there.

02:33:34.000 Still there?

02:33:35.000 Yeah, that's the place.

02:33:37.000 Yeah, look at that. 0.57

02:33:39.000 Crazy. 0.99

02:33:40.000 Man, you gotta get up and take a piss. 1.00

02:33:41.000 If you got a piss and you're in the middle, you're fucked. 1.00

02:33:44.000 Especially if you're overweight, if you're a big fella and you're trying to get through all that. 0.99

02:33:50.000 But anyway, when I went there, they informed me that that was where Richard Pryor did his live in concert from 79 that's re-recorded. 0.97

02:34:00.000 And I went back and watched it after I got home and I was like, Holy shit, this is crazy.

02:34:05.000 He pulled up to the same dock where I pulled up. 0.98

02:34:07.000 He walks in with his wife, goes through the same back area that I went to. 0.95

02:34:11.000 Then I watch it, and in the beginning of it, there's a fucking guy in the front of the stage who's getting, like Richard Pryor's on stage, and he's standing there taking pictures of Richard Pryor. 0.97

02:34:22.000 While he's filming his special. 1.00

02:34:24.000 And Richard's going, sit down, motherfucker, stop taking my picture. 0.99

02:34:28.000 He's saying it even in 79 it was an issue. 1.00

02:34:31.000 Yeah, stop taking pictures.

02:34:33.000 And it's just a guy in the audience.

02:34:34.000 It's not a professional photographer.

02:34:35.000 What do you think of that phone thing?

02:34:36.000 Are you going to do that?

02:34:37.000 Yes, I'm doing that.

02:34:38.000 You are?

02:34:39.000 Oh, okay, I should probably tell people.

02:34:41.000 For my shows upcoming in Austin, Houston, and Durham, North Carolina, there's a company called Yonder.

02:34:49.000 They take your phone, they put it into a bag, and you keep your phone, but they have to open your bag when you leave.

02:34:57.000 So you're not making any phone calls, you're not doing any texts, you're not filming, you're not doing anything.

02:35:02.000 I watched Chappelle's special when Chappelle did that, and I was like, this is it.

02:35:07.000 Yeah. 0.93

02:35:08.000 And it was fucking amazing how much more tuned in people are. 0.95

02:35:12.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:35:13.000 Like when they don't have their phone.

02:35:14.000 Yeah.

02:35:15.000 Especially just checking your texts.

02:35:17.000 And every time you're on stage, I mean, how many times are people just standing there filming things?

02:35:21.000 I just did a show where it was like fourth row, dark house, and you just see...

02:35:28.000 See the light, yeah. 0.99

02:35:29.000 A fucking beacon of light. 1.00

02:35:31.000 Yep. 0.99

02:35:31.000 And I was like doing, I'm doing, I'm talking, I'm talking, and then, you know, I'm just like trying to finish a bit. 0.99

02:35:36.000 And then I did, I'm like, hey man, what are you doing?

02:35:39.000 What?

02:35:40.000 What are you, what are you doing?

02:35:42.000 He's not even listening when I ask him what he's doing.

02:35:44.000 And then his friends are like, hey, he looks up, I go, what are you doing?

02:35:48.000 He's like, I'm doing, it's for work.

02:35:50.000 I go, you bought these tickets to do work?

02:35:54.000 And he's like, I just, I gotta do it.

02:35:56.000 I go, no.

02:35:57.000 No.

02:35:58.000 You're lighting up the whole room, like people that don't realize that?

02:36:00.000 I go, there's like 15 minutes left.

02:36:02.000 And he's like, alright.

02:36:04.000 And he flipped it over, like put the phone down.

02:36:09.000 Not, not two minutes later.

02:36:11.000 He's back on his phone.

02:36:13.000 Back on it.

02:36:13.000 Back doing things.

02:36:14.000 I was like...

02:36:15.000 And I actually knew to not say anything at the second time because I didn't want to... 0.98

02:36:20.000 I didn't want the show to be about that because I was like, this is going to be negative as shit. 0.89

02:36:25.000 But thankfully the staff noticed and they went over there and I don't know. 0.75

02:36:28.000 I'm doing this from now on, I think.

02:36:31.000 This phone thing.

02:36:31.000 I mean, look, some people don't like it.

02:36:34.000 That's okay, but it's going to make a better show.

02:36:35.000 Here's the thing so people know, because I know a little bit about the Yonder thing, too, is if you're like, well, what if I need to?

02:36:40.000 You can actually leave the showroom, and they'll unlock it for you, and you can make your call in the lobby, but it's just keeping people...

02:36:49.000 Tuned in and not distracting people.

02:36:52.000 I went to see Love, the Beatles show at Mirage. 0.98

02:36:57.000 Fucking amazing. 0.98

02:36:58.000 The Cirque du Soleil show. 0.99

02:36:59.000 It's incredible.

02:37:00.000 I've heard.

02:37:00.000 Incredible.

02:37:01.000 This guy in front of me has his brightness jacked to the fucking roof and he's texting people. 0.98

02:37:08.000 So while I'm trying to watch the show, this guy has this bright phone and he's just sitting there texting over and over and over again, completely disrespecting all the people around him. 0.98

02:37:18.000 Everybody's just gotta go like this.

02:37:20.000 Because the place is pitch black while a lot of this stuff is going on.

02:37:23.000 Because stuff comes down from the ceiling, and people are descending, and they're doing this acrobatics. 1.00

02:37:29.000 And this dickhead is just constantly on his fucking phone. 1.00

02:37:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:37:32.000 It's like, just, do you want to fucking experience things for a minute? 1.00

02:37:36.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

02:37:37.000 Like, you go to Cirque du Soleil, you go to Joe Rogan's show, it's like, you fucking went, you decided to go to the thing. 0.94

02:37:42.000 Like, don't you want to experience the show? 0.94

02:37:44.000 Yeah.

02:37:45.000 Just watch the show for a minute.

02:37:46.000 You gotta force people, because there's a certain amount of people that are just not going to.

02:37:50.000 You gonna get a deal?

02:37:51.000 It's not cheap.

02:37:52.000 It's not cheap, yeah.

02:37:53.000 It costs money.

02:37:54.000 Yeah.

02:37:54.000 But I feel like it's gonna be worth it.

02:37:56.000 I think so, too.

02:37:57.000 And I'm definitely gonna do it for my special.

02:37:59.000 Oh yeah, that's a good idea.

02:38:00.000 I'm just doing it from now on.

02:38:01.000 Because my last two specials, I dealt with people sitting in the front row, in the second row, just standing there, holding that phone up in front of you.

02:38:09.000 Just holding it right at you.

02:38:11.000 Like, you don't think that's distracting?

02:38:13.000 You don't think that's weird?

02:38:14.000 Live your life!

02:38:16.000 I think it's an especially good thing to do in a big, big venue.

02:38:19.000 Yeah.

02:38:20.000 Yeah.

02:38:20.000 So, that's it, folks.

02:38:22.000 So if you come into Austin, Houston, and Durham, We're taking your phone and putting it in a bag, Hooker. 1.00

02:38:27.000 Give your phone up, bitch. 1.00

02:38:29.000 Give that phone up, bitch. 1.00

02:38:31.000 Give it up, give it up, give it up. 1.00

02:38:32.000 You did your special in Denver, right?

02:38:34.000 At the Paramount, yeah. 0.99

02:38:35.000 It's a fucking great place. 0.99

02:38:36.000 It's great. 0.99

02:38:37.000 I love it. 1.00

02:38:37.000 Denver's the shit. 1.00

02:38:38.000 It's still my favorite, man. 1.00

02:38:40.000 It's my favorite city.

02:38:41.000 I think if I move anywhere, it'll either be there or maybe Seattle.

02:38:46.000 Those are my spots.

02:38:47.000 I would love to live...

02:38:48.000 I love, actually, downtown Denver.

02:38:50.000 I would also think it'd be amazing to live, like, 20 minutes outside of Denver.

02:38:54.000 Yeah, go to, like, Evergreen, Golden, live in the woods. 0.97

02:38:57.000 It'd be fucking amazing.

02:38:59.000 I think it's in my future. 0.87

02:39:02.000 Do you?

02:39:02.000 I do.

02:39:03.000 You're going to bail out of California when the little man starts getting older?

02:39:06.000 I don't think I'm going to do it in, like, the next couple of years, but I think in my life I will move to Colorado at some point.

02:39:12.000 Yeah.

02:39:13.000 I really love it.

02:39:14.000 I love it too.

02:39:15.000 I love all aspects of it.

02:39:16.000 Like, I like the culture.

02:39:18.000 I like the outdoors.

02:39:20.000 I like the people that I meet there.

02:39:22.000 Always meet great people there.

02:39:23.000 Yeah.

02:39:24.000 They have all the infrastructure you want from a big city.

02:39:27.000 You have access to everything.

02:39:28.000 Oh, yeah.

02:39:28.000 You have great restaurants.

02:39:29.000 You have great, you know, they have big sports.

02:39:32.000 They have entertainment.

02:39:33.000 They have everything you want. 0.98

02:39:34.000 The people are cool as fuck too. 0.98

02:39:36.000 They really are. 0.98

02:39:37.000 It's just, they're not pretentious like a lot of people that live in.

02:39:41.000 L.A. or San Francisco or New York.

02:39:43.000 Yeah.

02:39:44.000 They're very laid back.

02:39:46.000 But, you know, they're surrounded by also...

02:39:48.000 I think there's something about being surrounded by the Rocky Mountains.

02:39:51.000 I think it's good.

02:39:52.000 Start taking yourself seriously.

02:39:53.000 You just look out and go...

02:39:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:39:55.000 Fucking the vastness of all this. 0.99

02:39:57.000 It's insane. 0.99

02:39:58.000 It was a great night, man. 0.99

02:39:59.000 I had such a fucking lucky night. 0.98

02:40:01.000 It was an awesome night to do the special. 0.99

02:40:03.000 I'm trying to do Red Rocks, but every time I look for a date, I gotta look two, three years in advance, and it's like Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

02:40:11.000 I heard about that.

02:40:12.000 I was talking to them about Red Rocks, and they were like, people will take a date they don't even want because it's years in advance.

02:40:21.000 Yeah.

02:40:22.000 Well, that's what they offered me.

02:40:23.000 They offered me a bunch of Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

02:40:25.000 And they're not in like in 2020 or something.

02:40:29.000 2019. There's like Tuesdays and Wednesdays in 2019. That's all that's available?

02:40:32.000 Yeah.

02:40:33.000 Wow.

02:40:33.000 I was like, I can't get a Friday?

02:40:35.000 Yeah.

02:40:36.000 But the Belco, the place that I do normally, I like that, but that's like 5,000-something, whereas Red Rock is like 9,000.

02:40:47.000 It's a lot.

02:40:49.000 But you've been doing two Belcos.

02:40:51.000 Two Belcos, yeah. 1.00

02:40:52.000 That's 10,000 people.

02:40:53.000 No, I can do enough people, but it's just...

02:40:56.000 People want to go out on Saturday night.

02:40:58.000 They want to go out on Friday night. 0.98

02:41:00.000 They don't want to go on fucking Wednesday. 0.99

02:41:01.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:41:02.000 Hike to some weird...

02:41:04.000 Have you been out to Red Rock?

02:41:05.000 Amphitheater.

02:41:06.000 No.

02:41:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:41:07.000 It's supposed to be the shit, though. 1.00

02:41:09.000 Yeah, I heard it's incredible. 0.99

02:41:10.000 Brian Regan was in, and he was telling me how he performed there.

02:41:13.000 There's a video of it.

02:41:14.000 He made a whole film of it.

02:41:15.000 Really?

02:41:15.000 He loved it.

02:41:16.000 He said it was amazing.

02:41:17.000 Not a lot of comedians perform there, though.

02:41:19.000 It's pretty...

02:41:19.000 It's pretty special.

02:41:20.000 Yeah.

02:41:21.000 Yeah.

02:41:21.000 Well, it's got to be...

02:41:22.000 You got to do it.

02:41:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:41:24.000 All right, well, let's wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:41:26.000 Everybody, tomorrow, meaning tonight, midnight tonight, the great and powerful Tommy Bunn special comes out on Netflix. 0.98

02:41:34.000 Don't sleep.

02:41:35.000 This is what you do.

02:41:36.000 You get up early and you watch the last one first.

02:41:40.000 Yeah, mostly stories.

02:41:41.000 Get jacked up.

02:41:42.000 That'll be a warm-up.

02:41:44.000 And then, why disgraceful?

02:41:45.000 It's how my mother described my stand-up one time.

02:41:54.000 She came and saw me on this tour, and she saw, you know, like, when your parents come, you're like, ah, man.

02:42:00.000 Yeah.

02:42:00.000 And, you know, it was a good one.

02:42:02.000 Like, she came to a good show.

02:42:04.000 Right.

02:42:05.000 And they came backstage, and it was like, my dad was like, there's a lot of people here, buddy.

02:42:10.000 What kind of money you get on something like this?

02:42:12.000 It was like a total dad question.

02:42:15.000 And my mom, I was like, how do you think, mom? 0.99

02:42:19.000 She was like, amazing, pero your language is like F, this, porno, F, F. It's a disgrace. 0.99

02:42:29.000 And I was thinking of titles, and I was like, oh, I love upsetting my mother. 0.97

02:42:33.000 So I called it disgraceful.

02:42:35.000 That's hilarious!

02:42:36.000 Your mother has a strong Spanish accent, right?

02:42:38.000 Very strong.

02:42:39.000 That's funny.

02:42:40.000 Yeah.

02:42:41.000 She speaks a lot of Spanish.

02:42:42.000 It's hilarious when you speak Spanish in front of me.

02:42:44.000 I've talked to people about it before, but it's funny when you speak Spanish in front of two people that didn't expect it.

02:42:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:42:51.000 I talk about it in the special.

02:42:52.000 Oh, yeah?

02:42:52.000 Yeah, I have a bit about it now.

02:42:53.000 Yeah.

02:42:54.000 Yeah, because it throws them off guard.

02:42:57.000 They're like, how do you do that?

02:43:01.000 I know, I know.

02:43:03.000 And then my sisters are darker, like, they have a darker complexion than me.

02:43:06.000 Oh, do they? 0.99

02:43:07.000 Yeah, especially if we go, like, if we go in the sun for, like, a few days, they turn into fucking Incas, and then I just burn. 0.98

02:43:15.000 So, yeah, it's very... 0.98

02:43:17.000 You can tell it's just genetics.

02:43:19.000 I got, like, my dad's skin, and they got hers. 0.99

02:43:22.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen, that's it.

02:43:24.000 Tonight, Midnight, Tommy Buns on Netflix.

02:43:28.000 Don't sleep.

02:43:29.000 Definitely watch it.

02:43:30.000 Anything else?

02:43:31.000 Thanks, brother.

02:43:32.000 I love you.

02:43:32.000 Thanks for having me.

02:43:33.000 I love you, too, man.

02:43:33.000 Thank you very much.

02:43:34.000 Anytime.

02:43:35.000 Bye, everybody.

02:43:36.000 Bye, guys.

02:43:36.000 I will be back in a little bit with UFC welterweight champion Tyron Woodley.

02:43:39.000 See ya.

02:43:41.000 Tyron here today?

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 11, 2018

Joe Rogan Experience #1063 - Tom Segura

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript