It's been a long time since we've been on The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, but we're back. Joe's back, and he's got the flu. He talks about how he got it, and how he managed to get over it.
00:00:05.000If you go to joerogan.net and click on the link that says flushlight and enter in the code name Rogan, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:02:44.000When you pull all-nighters and do stupid shit, and this is when you realize it.
00:02:47.000Like, when I got it, I was playing pool in San Francisco because Thursday night we did a show, and then I went out and played pool late, late till like 6, 6.30 in the morning, and then drove in.
00:02:58.000I was exhausted, and I just jacked my immune system.
00:03:36.000They did like a dateline thing about it, and I think they actually talked to the people that designed the air systems and planes, and they said that, no, they're really good.
00:04:31.000But when you start telling me that a lot of flus are livestock diseases and you know what the fuck we do to livestock, there's got to be some sort of a connection.
00:05:03.000I couldn't even see by those pictures.
00:05:05.000I was in Boston, and while I was there, when I started feeling better, I went to the museum and went to the Museum of Fine Arts, and they had all this Egyptian art.
00:05:13.000And it was all like ancient, ancient shit, like 2000 BC, you know, all the way up to like Cleopatra's era, which is like the later eras.
00:05:23.000You know, when you really get into Egypt, how weird they are in comparison to us, like when you just look at like what they did, they had this like super advanced culture that was completely different than ours.
00:05:34.000Like so completely different that their writings was all image-based.
00:05:38.000Instead of like having letters, they had like images that represent symbols.
00:05:42.000And so all their writing is their conceptual, like the way they looked at the world was completely different than the way we look at it.
00:05:51.000The way we look at things with our writing and our language and our Western interpretation of morals and values and what's important and what's not important.
00:05:59.000This is just something we sort of settled on.
00:06:01.000And what you see with the ancient Egyptians is, well, here was this really advanced culture that was capable of these incredible architectural masterpieces that we are puzzled by today.
00:06:13.000Like they'll tell you that they know how they built the pyramids.
00:06:30.0002,300,000 stones that weigh between 2 and 80 tons, and some of them were cut from a quarry that was 500 fucking miles away.
00:06:39.000I mean, these people were bad, bad motherfuckers.
00:06:43.000They were doing some shit that none of us in this room could ever fucking figure out.
00:06:46.000It was complex mathematics, too, because you had to have every stone cut perfectly by the time you got to the top, because any little room for error, your shit would be cockeyed.
00:06:56.000You're 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid.
00:07:00.000Think about how perfect you have to be the entire way and adjust all the way.
00:07:04.000And it's not like those stones are like this small on one side and huge on the other and it's all, they tried to bounce it out at the end.
00:08:34.000If you're one of those famous people that wants to be on a reality show, you know, I can understand.
00:08:38.000But I know dudes who are regular dudes who are having like Twitter wars with their girlfriend online where the girlfriend will say, it would be amazing if I had a man in my life that actually cared about what I think.
00:08:50.000And then, you know, the guy will come back on.
00:10:46.000Someone took him fly fishing, I think, in the late 80s or early 90s, and he wrote a book called I Never Met an Idiot on the River, all about the cool people that he met fly fishing.
00:10:55.000And he has all these photos in the books of places he's gone fly fishing.
00:12:22.000When you're not catching fish, it can be such a drag.
00:12:24.000I've been on fishing trips where it's like two days of nothing.
00:12:28.000You know, you go with a buddy and then by the time the second day rolls around, you still haven't caught shit.
00:12:34.000But if you go to some place like where like salmon are fucking running, you know, you go to Oregon where the salmon are running, like, bro, you're going to catch some fish.
00:16:46.000I've talked about this on stage in San Francisco, but it's a true story.
00:16:50.000I was with Fear Factor and we were filming in Oakland and everyone was going to get together, the crew and everybody was going to get together and have dinner in San Francisco.
00:17:31.000I was like way too high to be out in public.
00:17:33.000I was having like, I was having some sort of a membrane moment where I'm like on the brink of passing through to some other dimension that's like right next to us, but we can't normally access.
00:17:55.000And one of the guy goes, oh, you don't know?
00:17:57.000We're 500 feet on the ocean right now.
00:18:00.000And all I could think of is what a dumb way to die and how scary that would be if that thing just started moving and a leak broke and then the water comes rushing in.
00:18:12.000What a nutty idea to put a fucking tube under the ocean in a place where the ground is famous for moving.
00:18:47.000What if you're in there and it's one of those five-minute jammies where the whole fucking thing is going crazy for five minutes and you are just shit in your pants going, how much can this little flexible metal tube underwater, how long can this last?
00:19:04.000What are the insane pressures it's experiencing every foot of the way as it's anchored down to this moving ground?
00:19:13.000The ocean is moving in a tsunami fashion over it as well because wherever the fuck the epicenter of it, the shelf lifts up and a fucking giant 500 foot wall of water going 50,000 miles an hour is headed to the coast.
00:21:46.000It's true, but you know, we only have a very limited number of years that we can study a very, very complex system.
00:21:54.000The system of the balance of the ecosystem of the earth, like where it's warm, where it's stormy, that shit moves and changes.
00:22:03.000You know, there's parts of, like, that's one of the big pieces of evidence that they point to a much, much older Egyptian society is that Egypt at one point in time, where the Nile River was, where the Sphinx is, 9,000 years ago, that was a tropical rainforest, like 9,000 BC.
00:22:22.000And there's like all this water erosion on the Sphinx and the Sphinx enclosure.
00:22:26.000And some of the scientists use that as a point to evidence that they need to reconsider the age of the Egyptian culture because this is like a completely different environment this was under initially as opposed to when they found everything, which it was all desert.
00:22:39.000And they were saying like, this is like way, way, way, way, way older than you think it is.
00:23:52.000There's a giant mystery as this whole cycle of the Earth and whether or not human beings are interrupting it with global warming, whether it's man-made or whether it's just a natural cyclical thing.
00:24:04.000You can argue one way or the other, and most scientists believe what we're doing is not good.
00:24:09.000But the bottom line is it changes on its own no matter what.
00:24:59.000Like this Japan thing, man, I feel terrible for those people.
00:25:03.000It's terrible that these scientists built this thing and didn't really think it totally through and didn't really know that if you fuck this up, you leave a sun in the middle of the field that's going to burn through the fucking earth and you can never shut it off.
00:25:16.000Don't we have that in the United States also?
00:27:19.000I learned more about that stuff living there.
00:27:22.000Isn't that the craziest expression ever?
00:27:24.000Duncan Trussell told us this, that when Oppenheimer, when the first nuclear bomb was detonated, he quoted the ancient Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita.
00:27:33.000He said, I am become God, destroyer of worlds.
00:27:43.000But just the fact that he did that, man, that he quoted this ancient Hindu scripture when he came up with some machine that cuts through the fabric of the fucking universe and makes everything explode and just disappear around it.
00:27:59.000Rocky Flats is a very sore spot in a beautiful part of the fucking country, which is Colorado.
00:28:06.000I mean, granted, there is nothing out there, Joe.
00:28:08.000You pull up with your car and there's guards there with fucking guns and bazookas.
00:28:12.000I am become death, destroyer of worlds.
00:29:34.000Could you imagine the responsibility that you must feel that you were at least credited as the one man without whom the nuclear bomb might have never been created?
00:29:46.000It just took eight minutes to say, listen, I fucked some shit up, Jack.
00:30:17.000Like the power that we have, like those Hiroshima ones and the Nagasaki ones, those are okay.
00:30:22.000But we got like way stronger shit now.
00:30:24.000And they're working on shit that's even stronger than that.
00:30:26.000You know, they're working on anti-matter weapons.
00:30:29.000They're working on anti-matter weapons, which would literally like dissolve matter.
00:30:34.000They would literally, whatever the fuck form it takes as a weapon, whether it's a bomb or a beam or it would just everything, it would just destroy everything.
00:30:43.000It would be like thousands of times stronger than we could ever imagine any bomb being today.
00:31:34.000Yeah, but even in a position where the United States is right now, we're not really threatened by anybody.
00:31:39.000I mean, there's some other countries that have nuclear power and there's other countries that have strong armies, but without a doubt, this is the biggest superpower the world has ever known by a long shot.
00:31:49.000And we continue to come up with newer, crazier shit.
00:31:52.000I mean, I guess you have to stay where you're at.
00:31:55.000You have to, you know, if you're the big bully, you got to always have the biggest stick.
00:34:37.000That's one thing that we've always had the resources to do, and that's where I don't have patience.
00:34:42.000Why all these fucking 18-year-old kids?
00:34:44.000I don't know who watched Apocalypse Now yesterday unplugged on AMC.
00:34:49.000You get stoned, you walk through the house, you have an hour before you go to a barbecue, and you put something on.
00:34:54.000I'm fucking sitting there, and I'm sitting about when I was 18, I robbed this guy, and I used to do fucking Coke, and these kids were 19 waking up to machine gun fire.
00:35:04.000Are you fucking, what are you gonna fucking tell me?
00:35:37.000I'm about to send a fucking missile that's so strong it's going to go in your house, knock on your doorbell, and go in your asshole, and you're going to blow up.
00:36:33.000But either way, no one's saying what's bad or what's worse.
00:36:36.000They're both fucking horrible and disgusting.
00:36:38.000It's just, we don't experience it over here.
00:36:41.000And because we don't experience it over here, the only people that truly appreciate what the fuck is happening in the world are our veterans.
00:36:47.000They're the only ones who truly appreciate it.
00:38:52.000You know, there's Jake Shields, head trainer, I forget his name, Tarak something, Tarak Aziz.
00:38:59.000He's over in Afghanistan right now, and he was tweeting about it, and he was tweeting about how there's like, no one's talking about these NATO strikes that are killing all these civilians.
00:39:09.000And there was parts of some woman stuck to a tree.
00:39:12.000Like he was walking near this site, and there was parts of a woman stuck to a tree, just some oh god, yeah, just some poor, innocent person in the wrong place when the missiles come.
00:39:22.000You know, how do you know it was a woman?
00:40:15.000And all of a sudden, in the middle of conversation, some other guy comes and goes, hey, sir, that's Lance whatever Johnson, the famous surfer.
00:40:22.000In the middle of conversation, he just walks away from Winning's father and walks up to him and goes, excuse me, sir, and both of the black kid, the great black kid that's now on CSI.
00:43:32.000That's one of those movies that every time you watch it, if you haven't seen it in a couple years, you just shake your head and go, God damn.
00:45:20.000Isn't it funny, though, that when you talk about like the 16 to 18 thing, it's funny that we have like an age when we decide you're ready for shit.
00:45:27.000You know, I mean, it's important, but like there's an age like in some countries, or in some parts of the, even this country, they'll let you marry when you're 16.
00:45:35.000You can fuck and marry when you're 16.
00:45:37.000Yeah, it should be against the law that you shouldn't even be allowed to have babies before 21.
00:45:41.000Well, you know that teacher that got busted up in Seattle, the Seattle, Washington area?
00:45:53.000It was really creepy because you go to his website.
00:45:55.000He's like all like, this is how we stop bullies.
00:45:57.000Meanwhile, he's banging some 15-year-old.
00:46:00.000And he apparently they got together and made out a few times when she was 15, but she says they didn't have a sexual relationship until she was 16, which is technically legal in the state of Washington.
00:46:12.000But they're going after him anyway because he was a teacher and because it's creepy.
00:46:41.000The Supreme Court decided to change the Fourth Amendment over marijuana smell.
00:46:48.000The Supreme Court, this is a crazy story.
00:46:51.000In Kentucky versus King, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that cops who smell marijuana coming from your home can break down your door and arrest you as long as they knock first and claim to have heard evidence or heard you destroying evidence.
00:48:08.000What they're going to say is they're going to allow you to only say what they want you to say that will incriminate you.
00:48:14.000They're not going to allow you to even use the expression medical marijuana.
00:48:18.000So that federally shows how they operate.
00:48:21.000But now this new, the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution is that the right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures shall not be violated and no warrants shall issue but upon probable cause supported by oath or affirmation and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized.
00:49:57.000When they kick in your door, though, and they see that you have marijuana and you get that $80 ticket, I mean, are they allowed to bust you for anything else they see?
00:50:05.000Because that $80 ticket is only a state thing.
00:50:10.000But I'm saying, if they bust down your door, can they only arrest you for weed?
00:50:16.000No, they can arrest you for anything you got in your fucking house once they're in.
00:50:21.000Let's say if they get a warrant and they search your house, like if they get a warrant because they think you're selling cocaine and they go to your house and there's five dead bodies, they're still going to arrest you for murder.
00:50:32.000This is a scary thing because this allows cops to just say they smelled pot.
00:50:47.000So you smell them doing something that they want to do and you have a law where you can break down the door if you think that they're destroying that pot that they wanted to smoke.
00:51:43.000The idea, I agree that it's probably not going to come up in our lives, but it's going to come up in somebody's life.
00:51:48.000And the only reason why it exists at all is because there's a bunch of clueless old fucks that are in charge of running shit in this country.
00:52:24.000You can say that all you want, but when you're the law is specifically about smelling marijuana, that's not protecting anybody from anything, man.
00:52:34.000This is just nonsense by people that bought into propaganda and have shown through their decisions.
00:52:40.000If you show that this is the way you think after you've really experienced and looked at all the evidence, all that tells me is you're grossly incompetent.
00:52:49.000Not just grossly incompetent, but criminally incompetent.
00:52:52.000The idea that you're there to serve and protect and you would actively seek to lock people up in jail for a plant that's never killed a single fucking human being on the face of the planet.
00:53:06.000It's one of the most innocuous natural substances you could possibly wrap your fucking head around.
00:53:11.000And the fact that these cunts have made a law where if they smell you enjoying this fantastic plant that makes sex better and food tastes better and makes you more creative, they smell it.
00:53:21.000They can kick down your fucking door and lock you in a cage.
00:53:25.000This is some draconian Orwell 1984 movie type shit.
00:55:32.000I'll tell you what I did here from somebody who works at the airport.
00:55:35.000That if you show up to LAX or Burbank or one of those airports and say, I'm going to Mississippi and I'm taking weed, they'll let you bring it out now.
00:57:11.000There's got to be some other you haven't dealt with.
00:57:13.000Let's pretend I'm under suspicion for trafficking narcotics, and they don't have a warrant for my arrest, but they're listening to my conversations on the phone.
00:58:18.000This is just to stop you for 15 minutes and stop you and see if something could come up in 24 hours for them to arrest you.
00:58:26.000So they could use this, like if you were swearing, they could use that as a law to bring you in and then they start getting you for other things?
00:58:43.000In Seattle, Washington, if I push Redman, and Redman has no witnesses, they have 72 hours to charge me with the crime for Redman, for pushing Redman.
00:58:52.000If they don't get 72, those 72 hours are a window for them to get you for other things.
00:59:37.000Whenever he calls me, no, whenever he calls me.
00:59:40.000Whenever they tap you on a phone, if I have a phone tap and you don't know and you just call me because you're my friend, after they arrest me and they take me to trial, you're going to get a bunch of mail telling you that we were listening to you on an open line.
01:00:46.000But I would never, do you understand me?
01:00:48.000You think the cops are going to be listening to our conversation?
01:00:50.000Because now they can listen to anything.
01:00:53.000And so right now I'm at home and for some reason I tap into Red Bands and whatever's conversation and I'm in Vegas for the UFC and I go, Red Band, cocksucker.
01:01:03.000They're not going to get a cop car to come and arrest me.
01:02:03.000When I got in trouble for kidnapping, if you got arrested for two or more violent crimes at the same time, so let's say you get assault one and assault two.
01:02:11.000They automatically have to charge you with crime of violence.
01:03:27.000The dude in Texas, the old dude that had the shotgun in the house, and he called the police, and the police says, we're going to send the car right over.
01:05:25.000But I've found in my life that if you're respectful and you treat the cops straightforward and don't give them a fucking hard time and don't challenge their position, you know, just accept what's going on.
01:05:51.000I had a cop one time with handcuffs on go in my zipper pocket over here and I had 30 fucking volumes in there, the blue ones, the old school used to be in the middle, which would kill a fucking horse.
01:07:11.000I watched Cocaine Cowboys where they talk about how the entire fucking year, graduating year, one year, it was like 84 or something, the entire graduating year of the Miami Police Department, what is the police entire, either died or got murdered or got put in prison.
01:07:30.000It was one of the worst things that could ever happen.
01:07:33.000It was like one of those things, what is it when you have to open up?
01:07:35.000They opened up a program in Miami in 80 to promote more police officers that were Spanish.
01:07:42.000So they took all these cops that had juvenile records like a motherfucker, all these kids, erased them, and just gave them jobs to give the department a better thing.
01:07:50.000And there was this one case where they had these four cops, I forget what they called them, the harbor cops or whatever, that they were just pulling people over on the road, shooting you, and taking your shit, throwing you in the water, all four of them, just on the road like pirates, bro.
01:08:31.000Pulling you out by your hair, blowing your brains out, throwing you over the causeway, taking your Mercedes with the fucking Porsche, going it back.
01:08:38.000When they each got popped, they each had millions plus.
01:08:44.000Like they were so far gone doing blowing, just shooting people.
01:08:47.000The harbor cops, the roadway cops, the, and they were all these crazy little fucking spics that, you know, Cuban kids, dog, that have juvenile records, but they had to promote them.
01:09:36.000He's doing four years overcrowded prisons, programs, first-time offenders, you know, all this fucking bullshit that you qualify for, especially if you're non-violent.
01:10:35.000This guy was a hardcore, evil motherfucker.
01:10:38.000Killed this grandmother in front of the daughter, the granddaughter, and the granddaughter was making too much noise, so he drowned her in the toilet and killed the both of them and went to jail.
01:10:48.000He just immediately started killing chicks immediately.
01:10:51.000By the time they got to his house, they found one of those big drums, those big metal drums with some woman chopped up and stuffed inside of it.
01:11:00.000And they found evidence of another murder somewhere else in his house.
01:11:32.000If it's your first time offending for cocaine, I think they should give you a stiff penalty up front so you understand what it's like behind back there.
01:11:39.000And that's the only way you'll learn the same way I learned.
01:11:42.000Because once you go back there, it ain't no fucking joke.
01:11:45.000And I'm not talking about, oh, you're gonna get raped and don't drop the song.
01:11:48.000I'm talking about you miss your peeps, bro.
01:11:51.000The people who love you and have faith in you, they're the ones you hurt.
01:11:54.000And when you see their faces, that's when you make a decision.
01:11:56.000Either you're gonna go back there or you're fucking not.
01:11:59.000I feel that everybody should pay for what they've done in society.
01:12:02.000It's the only way you're gonna learn from it.
01:12:05.000You're gonna keep doing the same shit.
01:12:06.000Lindsay Lohan nothing needs six months fucking years with a bunch of hardcore sisters with no fucking Afro sheen in their hair when they start looking like fucking Magoomba.
01:13:14.000Look, if you're arresting him for undercover of murder for hire plots, and they're planning on knocking over banks and shit when they get out of high school, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:14:55.000It's like they're legal heroin dealers and they have no database.
01:14:59.000So if you went to Dr. Joey Diaz and got your prescription, you could get out of the car, drive right down the street, and go to Dr. Joe Rogan.
01:15:06.000And Dr. Joe Rogan writes a prescription for you too.
01:15:08.000And then you go down the street another fucking 20 miles down the road and get another prescription.
01:15:12.000And you can do it over and over again because they can't compare.
01:15:15.000So you can just show up at these page management centers and get 30, 40 fucking pills.
01:15:20.000And these people are, they're called the OxyContin Express because people are driving down from Kentucky and Ohio.
01:15:25.000They're driving down this highway to access the Florida fucking OxyContin.
01:15:30.000They're hanging out in front of this place.
01:16:17.000Everybody, look, I mean, you can get OxyContins.
01:16:21.000I know a dude who had a problem, and he had a problem because he got a prescription for it when he lived in Texas, and then he moved to California.
01:16:28.000He got another prescription for it here, and he decided to just have himself a little fucking party.
01:16:32.000And so when he did that, he got jacked.
01:21:36.000But Dennis and Terrence McKenna, when they were in the Amazon in like the 1970s, this is when they started having their psychedelic adventures and they would go take the ayahuasca and eat the mushrooms.
01:21:49.000They said the mushrooms are like dinner plates.
01:21:51.000Like in the Amazon, these motherfuckers grow and they're like, you know, if you grow in a real fertile environment like that, that's one of the reasons why, look at the size of that.
01:22:38.000It was four hours of being inside of a salvia or a DMT trip and not a bathroom, which I thought where I was at.
01:22:46.000And my girlfriend said out, she would walk in and I would be sitting like Buddha, like legs crossed, facing the wall, like two inches from a wall, just staring at it with my eyes open.
01:22:56.000And then I would look at her and my eyes would be cross-eyed.
01:22:59.000And then like I would turn back towards the wall.
01:23:01.000And she says, she's like, I didn't know what, she's like, I thought you were mad.
01:23:05.000She's like, you were just sitting there facing a wall or something.
01:23:09.000I have no idea what the fuck that was about.
01:23:12.000Well, you wouldn't, you had what's called a breakthrough experience.
01:23:14.000You have what all those psychedelic freaks all really want to see.
01:23:18.000You know, a lot of people will talk about they like to do mushrooms, but they never really have done mushrooms.
01:23:22.000You don't really do mushrooms until you see what you saw.
01:23:25.000What you did is have the full-blown experience.
01:23:27.000And that's one of the reasons why people talk about like, why do you make such a big deal?
01:23:32.000They'll say to me, like, why do you make such a big deal about mushrooms?
01:23:34.000Why do you make a big deal about DMT or the psychedelic experience?
01:23:38.000Why do you make such a big deal out of it?
01:24:29.000I started fucking With that shit when I was younger, and I was from the East Coast.
01:24:32.000There was no fucking mushrooms, but I had these scientist kids that were like 30 when I was like 15, and they were scientists at East Stroud.
01:24:40.000And every week they were into all this psychedelic and Sid Barrett and all this shit, and they would make stuff.
01:24:47.000I gotta be honest with you, when I first started fucking around with acid, to me, it was just another way of getting fucked up, killing the pain.
01:26:37.000When you're 16, you always want to know answers.
01:26:39.000And I remember that I would take a hit of acid and go home and, you know, fucking come tripping like by one.
01:26:45.000I'd be a junior in high school or sophomore.
01:26:48.000But I knew that if I tripped by myself, that's when I got the full effect.
01:26:52.000And I would go home and take a fucking hit of window pane or four-way acid, and I'd get speakers and I'd listen to like black sabotage or master reality, which just blows you out of the fucking water.
01:27:04.000And I would, and at the end of the night, whatever problem I had, whatever inner problem I was thinking about that was really eating away at me, it'd be gone or solved.
01:27:18.000Don't you think that's why so many problem kids, so many troubled kids have this deep, deep connection to music?
01:27:24.000You know, I mean, how many kids you see that are just all fucked up and they got long, crazy, greasy hair, but they got a shirt on of their favorite band and they're headed to that concert and their fucking life depends on this show being good.
01:29:13.000I didn't know how responsible you are when you do this.
01:29:15.000When you talk and you say certain things about your feelings and your emotions, people jump onto you because they feel your pain or their admiration or their happiness.
01:29:23.000And all of a sudden, you become a part of them and they become a part of you, man.
01:29:27.000As stupid as this may sound, you know it.
01:29:29.000You had martial arts, your escape when you were a kid.
01:29:32.000We all have to have some fucking escape when you're a kid, especially when you don't come from the fucking brainy bunch.
01:29:37.000I think that one of the things that helps people with this podcast too, and I get a lot of emails and Twitters about it, is, you know, there's a lot of people that don't have anybody cool to hang out with.
01:33:20.000The leader up there at the time, they had a one-channel, channel two, and all they did was play Charles Bronson movies because he lived up there.
01:33:26.000They would play Mr. Majestic and something else to the end.
01:39:52.000We had her on the podcast a while back, Allison Shula.
01:39:56.000And out of nowhere, I haven't talked to her in months.
01:39:58.000I just thought, hey, I'm going to call Allison up.
01:40:00.000So she comes over and we have Carlos on.
01:40:02.000And the reason why we had Carlos on is because he was one of the guys responsible making this thing called The Mostly Normal Show presents the outing of a joke thief.
01:40:12.000See, what happened is there's this guy that we had talked about named Mitch.
01:40:51.000But the weird thing is, remember when Allison was on and we had talked about being an open mic comic and how a lot of these guys are doing these tricks.
01:40:59.000And one of the things that Allison was talking about is how this guy wanted her to pay $100 in order to do five minutes in the belly room.
01:41:07.000And she was going to do that because she thought that's what you had to do to be an open mic comic.
01:41:14.000Found out that during that episode of the Salvia video, found out this is the same guy, the joke thief guy, that was scamming her out of money and other open comics out of money.
01:41:38.000I had this little blind, open-miced chick dog that used to come up to the comedy store with a 20 and just take me up to the belly room and suck my dick, then go do her set.
01:48:45.000But a few, every now and then you get some one dude that was probably annoying as fuck and came up to Randy and tried to get him in a short time.
01:48:50.000You would inside my picture at the restaurant.
01:48:53.000You interrupted him while he's eating dinner or something or whatever the fuck it was.
01:48:56.000And so then you'll get a shitty Randy Couture story.
01:48:58.000But I never heard a good Lance Armstrong story.
01:49:01.000Every time we were in Austin, we were all hearing it from waiters and waitresses and people that know people that ran into him.
01:49:29.000There was a lot of people that knew he was doing things.
01:49:31.000One of the things in the 60 Minutes documentary about it, the 60 Minutes coverage of it, they say that he tested positive for EPO at one point in time.
01:49:39.000And then after he tested positive, he donated money to this blood scanning foundation that busts people for fucking testing positive for shit.
01:49:48.000He donated like 25 grand, and then he donated another 100 grand in the future.
01:49:54.000That's like a direct if this guy was really doing EPO and all the other dudes, they're busting them left and right.
01:50:01.000They all have to come clean and they have to tell only the truth because if they get caught with anything, then their immunity goes out the window.
01:50:07.000So they give them a limited amount of immunity.
01:50:09.000They tell them, we want to know every fucking thing that happened.
01:50:12.000And if you lie about one thing, you're going to jail.
01:51:50.000You got to think that if these guys are doing shit that's dangerous for their body, and you know, it is kind of dangerous, especially the guys that go deep.
01:51:57.000You go Arnold Schwarzenegger levels, you know, you go to like pro wrestling levels where those giant fucking dudes, that's dangerous as fuck.
01:52:05.000Like you're, you're, you're really overclocking on your body.
01:52:16.000Every time you, listen, anytime you do a bump of cocaine, a mushroom, a fucking five-hour energy, a steroid, you're always going in that area.
01:52:59.000Yeah, it's all, look, I'm a personal freedom person, but I also think that, man, if a kid wants to be a cyclist, he shouldn't have to take some shit that might give him a stroke.
01:53:08.000And the only way to win, if you're going to have a bunch of dudes who are on EPO, and EPO can give you strokes.
01:53:13.000I don't know how many people have died from it, but I assume it's got to be a few.
01:53:18.000I know people that have told me they know people who took it, you know, guys that are professional cyclists, and they detailed how difficult and dangerous it was and how they would have to wake up in the middle of the night and do cardio.
01:53:28.000They would have to get up and go ride their bike because their heart would be fucking pounding because their blood's too thick because they have all this shit in their body that makes them make an abnormal amount of red blood cells.
01:53:39.000So on the plus side, you carry all this oxygen, but on the downside, man, if you don't work out all the time, you could die.
01:53:45.000Like you could have a fucking stroke, man.
01:53:47.000So these dudes would, he was a cyclist and he was staying on a bus and he said you would hear him at 2-3 in the morning and you would know who was on EPO because those are the guys who would get up and they would and you would hear their bike, you would hear them disconnect their bike and go riding.
02:03:05.000He agreed to the fight, but then he said he wants $50,000 and then $25,000 if he wins.
02:03:09.000So apparently the Sheikh Takhnoon, whoever was putting together one of the Sheikhs over there in Abu Dhabi, was like, eh, you can't do that, dude.
02:03:23.000If he's going to fight, he wants some cash.
02:03:24.000Why isn't Eddie just then fight the best gracie edits out that would fight him?
02:03:27.000Because he doesn't really want to fight anybody.
02:03:29.000He just Was going to fight this dude because this dude is always saying that him beating him was a fluke and that it would never happen again.
02:04:50.000But I know that Eddie's a lot better than he was when he beat him last time.
02:04:52.000People who go in there, like, just like, I know his students love him, but people who go there for a couple of days will come back with that and say, bro, Eddie's bad to the bone.
02:05:01.000Yeah, you think that, you know, his guard ain't shit.
02:05:03.000He's going to wrap you up and fuck you up, dude.
02:05:05.000Even if you're a lot bigger than him, he'll tell you the whole story about when he went over there in Abu Dhabi when he trained with the guy, but the guy's trainer was a Henzo guy, and he did the whole story.
02:05:34.000The way he breaks down techniques, he's excellent at it, man.
02:05:37.000I've been to a lot of UFCs with you, and I've never had a bad time.
02:05:40.000But one of the funniest things besides tripping at the UFC was the weigh-in with Eddie and what's the kid that I love him with the fucked up eye for a while.
02:06:42.000If jiu-jitsu was golf, you know, if jiu-jitsu was something that, you know, Eddie Bravo would be like one of the most respected coaches in the country.
02:06:55.000I mean, if it was like something that was on, golf's a terrible example because it's sort of a game instead of a sport, whereas jiu-jitsu is clearly a sport.
02:07:01.000He just, you know, he's always wanted to be a musician.
02:07:23.000And everybody thinks that he takes credit for all this other shit, but he really doesn't.
02:07:28.000You know, when you listen to him talk and teach and actually get to know the guy, he gives credit for every single person he learned every move from.
02:07:34.000You know, there's certain, you know, there's a move called the Duda.
02:15:19.000If you go to hire-primate.com, they sold out literally within an hour, and we got new ones coming in, and we got a bunch of new designs on the bottom.