The Joe Rogan Experience - June 28, 2011


Joe Rogan Experience #117 - Eddie Bravo

Topics
coupons cigarettes staying in shape bucket handle tear driving and looking Richard Nixon impeachment and politics spying on politicians zombie situation rabies furry convention bunnies who wants these tickets to the show tomorrow backstage ghosts Nazi science and Ancient Aliens reference German UFO sightings and Nazi aircraft models Zeitgeist Debunked food allergies and bread Salton Sea documentary Salton Sea ghost town K-1 fights in Vegas K1 Max fights early stoppages throwing cigarettes out Prius windows taxes aliens
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Mentioned
Bruce Lee Brian Follow Eddie Roy Jones Jr. Chuck Norris Richard Nixon Hillary Clinton Duncan Dude Jack Kennedy Geiger Giorgio Sucolos Larry Jones Nigel Benn Tate Gerald McClellan Pat Berry Chris Marcus Pooh Berry Fleshlight Elizabeth Taylor and 130 more
Joe Rogan Experience #115 - Maz Jobrani Joe Rogan Experience #119 - Jan Irvin

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 36 minutes

Words per minute

213.08

Word count

33,315

Sentence count

4,076

Harmful content

Misogyny

111

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,453

sentences flagged

Hate speech

101

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Joe and Brian talk about 15% off the Fleshlight, coupons, and the grocery stores using them to make more money. Joe also talks about the fact that he's not a fan of coupons and why he doesn't use them at all. Joe and Brian also talk about why they don't like them and why they're a waste of money and how they can make money with them. The guys also discuss the best way to save money on sex toys and other sex toys, and how you can get them for less than $20 at the end of the day. They also talk a little bit about how they're going to pay for the sex toys in the future, and why it's a good thing you don't have a credit card. It's a new day in the Joe Rogan Experience and we're here to talk about it! -Joe Rogan and Brian Rogan -The Joe Rogans Experience is a podcast where we talk about sex, money, and other things related to pop culture and pop culture. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! -Eddie Bravo and the rest of the crew. -J.R. Rogan's new show on Bravo's new podcast, "The Jerks" - The Jerks Show and much, much more! Thanks to our sponsor, The Fleshlight! (The Fleshlight) and our sponsors, Ralph's and Ralph's. Thank you so much for sponsoring the show, we appreciate you, we really appreciate you. We really much, really really appreciate all the support us. We appreciate you guys. We're working hard on this podcast and we hope you enjoy the show and we really, really appreciate it. and really appreciate your support. We can't wait to do this. We hope you're listening and we'll get back to it in the next episode soon. Thank you for all the love and support you're all of the support we can do this, we can't do this and we won't stop talking about it, we'll talk about this more of it. We'll talk more of this in a few more of these things in the coming episodes, we're not even think about it in a week. We love you, y'all. XOXO -Sooooo... -PODCAST -HAPPY THANK YOU, JOE ROGAN and the boys.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:00:01.000 Here we go. 1.00
00:00:02.000 Recording.
00:00:03.000 Oh, you know what?
00:00:03.000 What?
00:00:05.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:00:06.000 What?
00:00:06.000 Go ahead.
00:00:07.000 I've done so many goddamn interviews on Hoyler fucking Gracie. 0.99
00:00:11.000 We don't have to talk about that. 1.00
00:00:13.000 We're talking. 1.00
00:00:13.000 No, fuck that. 1.00
00:00:14.000 We're broadcasting right now. 1.00
00:00:16.000 The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:19.000 If you go to Joe...
00:00:20.000 Who was that?
00:00:21.000 Oh, that's...
00:00:21.000 Is that you, Brian?
00:00:22.000 You, you goddamn rookie, son. 1.00
00:00:25.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name Rogan, you get 15% off of the number one sex toy for men. 1.00
00:00:34.000 Huh, huh.
00:00:36.000 And with that said... 1.00
00:00:38.000 Oh, the black guy in here, what the fuck? 1.00
00:00:42.000 You were gentle with the sound today, too. 1.00
00:00:44.000 Are there people that are on the fence about the fleshlight, but that 15%?
00:00:48.000 I was like, you know, when I heard the 15%, I just jumped on it.
00:00:50.000 Maybe. 0.98
00:00:51.000 Maybe there's a few frugal masturbators out there. 1.00
00:00:54.000 I ignore 15% fucking off. 0.99
00:00:56.000 That never makes a difference. 1.00
00:00:57.000 Even when I was broke-ass motherfucker, 15% off never meant shit. 1.00
00:01:00.000 Really? 1.00
00:01:01.000 Not 15. It ain't gonna make me get up out of my fucking chair and call somebody and order some shit. 1.00
00:01:06.000 Oh, it made me. 0.99
00:01:08.000 I'm a member of all the coupon websites, and if I had a flashlight web 15% off, fuck yeah, I'm like free shipping.
00:01:15.000 That to me is like, oh, I got extra free something. 0.68
00:01:18.000 Whoa.
00:01:19.000 Okay.
00:01:20.000 I think everybody thinks differently when it comes to money.
00:01:23.000 I think you're a lot like me in that you would rather not think about it at all.
00:01:26.000 I don't want to think about that.
00:01:27.000 You think about it as much as you have to.
00:01:28.000 If it's 50% off, I'm like, well, how much is it?
00:01:32.000 Would you consider yourself, be honest, it's totally cool, would you consider yourself a really big tipper?
00:01:37.000 Yes.
00:01:37.000 Oh, really?
00:01:38.000 Yeah, like 20%.
00:01:40.000 Usually guys that are into coupons?
00:01:41.000 I don't know how many guys into coupons, but usually guys that are into coupons usually generally don't tip them.
00:01:45.000 Well, I consider more of like, that's human, and I'm helping somebody out, compared to like, fuck, if I can get $20 off Amazon, I'm going to do that. 1.00
00:01:54.000 Fuck Amazon in the ass. 1.00
00:01:56.000 Yeah, or Amazon's actually hooking you up and giving you a way to make... 1.00
00:01:59.000 What is the reason for coupons?
00:02:02.000 I mean, is it just to see what happens when they offer people less money for things?
00:02:06.000 Well, I don't know.
00:02:07.000 The grocery stores have changed.
00:02:08.000 They used to be relying on coupons.
00:02:10.000 Now, if you go to a grocery store without one of those cards, you're pretty much paying a good 15-20% more than you would if you didn't have a card on you.
00:02:18.000 So what's the benefit in that for them?
00:02:20.000 Because for those people that aren't loyal, they just come in and just spend money and they can charge them more. 0.93
00:02:26.000 I think coupons and advertising, when you put up a billboard and it said call now 15%, it doesn't mean shit to them. 0.51
00:02:32.000 It's just a reason to have an ad. 0.51
00:02:35.000 They don't have a storyline for an ad.
00:02:37.000 So let's just say 15% off.
00:02:39.000 We'll blow that up.
00:02:40.000 It doesn't really matter.
00:02:41.000 It's a reason to get the logo out.
00:02:43.000 That makes sense, that it's sort of like an advertising move. 0.99
00:02:46.000 But I've always thought it was probably to see, like, maybe our shit's too expensive. 0.99
00:02:50.000 Maybe we could actually make more money if we sold more of them at a lesser price. 0.96
00:02:55.000 Well, it probably also averages out, like, if you have a product that's $20, but you could also charge $30 for it, then the averages out, the people that use the coupons, would probably make it more like $25. 0.94
00:03:05.000 Probably there's, like, some economics major right now pulling his fucking hair out right now. 0.99
00:03:08.000 You don't know what you're talking about! 1.00
00:03:10.000 I know, we're total morons! 1.00
00:03:12.000 By the way, did we say this is Eddie Bravo? 0.99
00:03:13.000 We just opened the show with coupons. 1.00
00:03:17.000 Holy fuck. 1.00
00:03:18.000 It's a new day. 1.00
00:03:20.000 Ari's not even here. 1.00
00:03:21.000 Damn. 0.99
00:03:23.000 Yeah, I've never been one to... 0.99
00:03:24.000 Whenever I go to Ralph's or something like that, and they always say, Ralph's our local supermarket, do you want to have a Ralph's card? 0.98
00:03:32.000 I'm like, no, I don't want another fucking card. 0.98
00:03:35.000 I don't want another card. 0.99
00:03:36.000 If I have a free shake on a Robex card or something, I'll just throw that away. 0.98
00:03:41.000 You guys are crazy.
00:03:42.000 I'm just so not good with coupons. 0.67
00:03:43.000 You guys need to start keeping all that stuff in a little bag.
00:03:45.000 Then you gotta worry about it.
00:03:46.000 It's a different mindset.
00:03:48.000 Eddie and I have this...
00:03:49.000 It's a modified stoner mindset. 0.97
00:03:52.000 We get a lot of shit done, but you and I are both the same way in that if we don't have to think about something, I'm not gonna think about it. 0.99
00:03:58.000 Yeah, and if it's not gonna make a difference in my life, I don't give a fuck. 0.98
00:04:01.000 If I'm not gonna feel it, I'm not gonna physically feel the difference. 0.93
00:04:04.000 No.
00:04:05.000 Come on.
00:04:06.000 Yeah.
00:04:06.000 I need to do that, I guess.
00:04:09.000 It's good, man.
00:04:10.000 It helps you.
00:04:11.000 You need to, like, save money.
00:04:13.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:13.000 I need to make sure.
00:04:14.000 Well, how about if you just didn't smoke fucking cigarettes, cancer boy? 1.00
00:04:17.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:17.000 Just throw those fucking things away. 1.00
00:04:18.000 You'd have a lot of extra money. 1.00
00:04:20.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:20.000 That's a terrible fucking drug, man. 1.00
00:04:22.000 You know, that is the number one thing. 1.00
00:04:24.000 Anyone ever talks anything about politicians caring. 0.99
00:04:27.000 I just say, why the fuck don't they ever talk about cigarettes? 0.87
00:04:30.000 When was the last time you heard Obama talk about everyone should quit smoking? 0.98
00:04:34.000 Getting on TV, talking about the 400,000 people.
00:04:37.000 Sure, but doesn't he try to quit?
00:04:38.000 Or hasn't he tried to quit?
00:04:39.000 Yeah, everyone has.
00:04:40.000 You know what?
00:04:41.000 I'll be honest.
00:04:42.000 Every now and then I have a cigarette.
00:04:43.000 I don't have a problem with cigarettes being legal.
00:04:45.000 Yeah, it's a, you know, every now and then.
00:04:48.000 You know what it does when you get high and you throw a cigarette on top of that after?
00:04:52.000 You've been having those menthol cigarettes.
00:04:52.000 For five minutes, you get like a big head buzz.
00:04:55.000 That's pretty fucking cool. 0.97
00:04:56.000 You've been having those menthol cigarettes, I can tell. 0.99
00:04:58.000 Well, I really like cigars.
00:05:00.000 And cigars are, you know, essentially it's just pure nicotine that you're smoking, you know?
00:05:04.000 So it's probably the same buzz that you get off of a cigarette in one way or another.
00:05:08.000 I don't recommend it, but...
00:05:09.000 I have full control of my body.
00:05:12.000 I've been drinking since I was 14, probably younger than that, and I never drink alone.
00:05:18.000 I'm not an alcoholic.
00:05:19.000 I only drink in social situations, and if I don't drink for four or five months, I'm not an alcoholic.
00:05:26.000 But you rage hard in social situations.
00:05:29.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:29.000 I wrote a blog about you, dude.
00:05:32.000 I'm a temporary drunk.
00:05:34.000 Yeah, well, what you have is...
00:05:37.000 You have the ability to control your impulses.
00:05:40.000 And even though your impulses might be crazy, you have the ability to put them in check.
00:05:44.000 Whereas a lot of people, when they start drinking and black out and become another person, those people, they can't just not do it again the next day.
00:05:52.000 The next day comes around, they have a couple drinks and they can't step aside.
00:05:55.000 You can stop at two drinks.
00:05:57.000 How about the pizza story in Phoenix, remember?
00:06:00.000 Oh, yeah, man.
00:06:00.000 We were out, okay?
00:06:02.000 We were hammered.
00:06:04.000 2005. 2005, I did the improv in Phoenix, in Tempe, rather.
00:06:07.000 We had a great old time.
00:06:09.000 Went out, got our party on, got a drink on. 0.97
00:06:12.000 We were hammered, and we were at a pizza place, and it's 2 o'clock in the fucking morning, and Eddie Bravo was on the Atkins diet, so he's blackout drunk. 0.94
00:06:20.000 Blackout drunk, and he still won't eat his crusts. 0.97
00:06:23.000 Oh yeah, that's right.
00:06:24.000 Greasy Tony's.
00:06:25.000 Yeah, Greasy Tony's.
00:06:26.000 God rest his soul, Greasy Tony passed away last year. 1.00
00:06:29.000 I was fucking committed to that shit. 1.00
00:06:30.000 I also remember your cheat day was ridiculous, though. 1.00
00:06:33.000 You would have a sundae with pizza inside of it, chocolate sauce, anything you can think of.
00:06:39.000 Dudes are famous for their cheat days.
00:06:40.000 There's a dude who trains with BJ Penn.
00:06:42.000 I apologize, I forgot his name.
00:06:43.000 He's a wrestler. 1.00
00:06:44.000 And he would put pictures of his shit online because it was so ridiculous. 1.00
00:06:47.000 He would go to McDonald's and get a quarter pounder and then he would go to Krispy Kreme and he would cut a donut in half and he'd put the cheeseburger in between the donut. 1.00
00:06:56.000 Oh, man. 0.99
00:06:57.000 He was just fucking up some food, man. 0.98
00:06:59.000 That cheap? 0.99
00:06:59.000 When you're on the Atkins diet and you're restricting carbs, you think about bread like every day. 0.99
00:07:04.000 Sometimes you dream about bread and you're thinking about that Sunday.
00:07:07.000 And you're thinking about food so much. 0.96
00:07:09.000 Wednesday, I'm like, damn, all that matters to me is just a couple more days. 0.96
00:07:12.000 Hold on. 0.97
00:07:13.000 And I did it for almost three years where I was looking forward to that Sunday.
00:07:18.000 Oh, man.
00:07:19.000 And when I would wake up and stuff my face and I'm like...
00:07:22.000 It's 11 o'clock in the morning.
00:07:24.000 I'm stuffed.
00:07:25.000 And it's my cheat day.
00:07:26.000 I've been waiting for this all week.
00:07:27.000 I want to get hungry again.
00:07:29.000 I start smoking a lot of pot, getting the cushiest of cushions.
00:07:31.000 Did you ever throw up?
00:07:33.000 I'm sure I did.
00:07:35.000 Wow.
00:07:36.000 I mean, you had to have. 1.00
00:07:37.000 Some of the shit I saw you eat was just ridiculous. 1.00
00:07:39.000 I even on my fattest day never ate. 1.00
00:07:42.000 And then I would extend it to Saturday night.
00:07:43.000 I go, I'm going to start early.
00:07:45.000 And then for like after a year, Saturday night and all day Sunday.
00:07:49.000 That's right.
00:07:50.000 You did extend it.
00:07:51.000 Yes.
00:07:51.000 You waited until midnight.
00:07:52.000 And then I did that for about a year.
00:07:55.000 I would start Saturday night and midnight and just go off, right?
00:07:59.000 And take it all the way through Sunday.
00:08:00.000 Wow.
00:08:00.000 Then it started Saturday afternoon around 6. UFC, you know, we're eating before the UFC. Okay.
00:08:07.000 Then it just became, let's just do Saturday and Sunday, and let's not think about it no more. 1.00
00:08:12.000 Let's just wake up Saturday, fuck it. 0.99
00:08:14.000 And then when I added Friday night, that's when I started. 1.00
00:08:17.000 I was like, enough's enough.
00:08:19.000 It was opposite, Chite. 1.00
00:08:20.000 I was like, I'm not going to get crazy with it.
00:08:22.000 Now I'm not going to suffer.
00:08:23.000 And I'm like, it's not even making a difference now.
00:08:26.000 Yeah, you were doing that for a long time.
00:08:28.000 I miss those days.
00:08:29.000 That was fun. 0.65
00:08:29.000 But you were so insane with it. 0.65
00:08:31.000 I was a machine.
00:08:33.000 Very disciplined.
00:08:33.000 Very disciplined.
00:08:33.000 Yeah, you would just eat lettuce.
00:08:35.000 I remember you were eating bunny food.
00:08:36.000 You were just eating chopped lettuce.
00:08:38.000 For a long time.
00:08:38.000 Yeah.
00:08:39.000 People thought...
00:08:40.000 I lost so much weight.
00:08:41.000 People thought...
00:08:42.000 I remember at Abu Dhabi 2005, people on the internet were saying that, man, is he a heroine?
00:08:47.000 Because Henzo said something.
00:08:49.000 Henzo said something like...
00:08:50.000 On the internet where they thought I was on drugs.
00:08:54.000 Were you growing your hair out then?
00:08:56.000 No, no.
00:08:56.000 You hadn't done that yet?
00:08:58.000 No, no.
00:08:59.000 It was spiky the way it is now.
00:09:01.000 And I was really skinny and it was from the Atkins diet and people at Abu Dhabi thought I was on heroin.
00:09:06.000 That's a true story. 0.99
00:09:08.000 People were on the underground talking shit. 1.00
00:09:10.000 Oh, he's on heroin. 1.00
00:09:11.000 He looks like shit. 1.00
00:09:12.000 The crazy thing is how much you train. 1.00
00:09:14.000 You train a lot, but you would eat so bad that you would gain weight.
00:09:18.000 You would just go off burritos and you would just go off.
00:09:21.000 Yeah.
00:09:22.000 So now I'm on a diet part of the day.
00:09:25.000 Part of the day?
00:09:26.000 How much of the day?
00:09:28.000 A good 65-70%.
00:09:30.000 Well, as long as you just maintain. 0.99
00:09:33.000 It's when you let yourself go and then you gotta get fucking skinny again. 0.98
00:09:36.000 That's what happens with dudes, it happens with girls, it happens with everybody. 1.00
00:09:40.000 The hardest thing is getting back in shape.
00:09:43.000 It's not staying in shape.
00:09:44.000 Staying in shape is not that bad.
00:09:45.000 You get some momentum, you keep it going.
00:09:47.000 The one thing that's helped me a lot, though, is my girlfriend cooks for me all the time now.
00:09:51.000 She moved in, so I rarely go out.
00:09:54.000 Before, Man, in the middle of Hollywood, I had choices.
00:09:57.000 That was all night.
00:09:59.000 You want Carl's Jr.?
00:10:00.000 You want Jack in the Box?
00:10:01.000 You know, you can get Wendy's all night.
00:10:04.000 There's so much Taco Bells right there.
00:10:06.000 You have so many choices in it.
00:10:08.000 All I gotta do is get in my car.
00:10:09.000 And what got me fat was the place I lived at before, it was terrible parking.
00:10:16.000 Sometimes you had to park four blocks down the street just to get a parking.
00:10:19.000 So if I had a good parking when I got home after Jiu-Jitsu, I didn't want to lose that parking.
00:10:24.000 It wasn't worth it.
00:10:25.000 That Carl's Jr. was not worth losing my parking.
00:10:28.000 But then once I got my own official parking, man, you could leave at any time, just right there at 3 in the morning, ready to go.
00:10:34.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:10:34.000 Your place used to be brutal for parking.
00:10:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:10:37.000 You didn't miss that shit. 1.00
00:10:38.000 How do people live like that? 1.00
00:10:39.000 That sucks. 1.00
00:10:40.000 That's terrible. 0.99
00:10:40.000 My friend lives like that, and I'm thinking, what if you had to poop really bad, and you couldn't find a parking spot, and you was sticking out? 0.99
00:10:46.000 You shit your pants. 0.93
00:10:47.000 It's like what we were talking about with all the area around the improv. 0.99
00:10:50.000 Everywhere you go on those side streets, it's all residential-only parking.
00:10:54.000 And you're literally not even allowed to park there.
00:10:56.000 They're just saying, sorry, even though this is the street, there's no room for regular people. 0.98
00:11:01.000 You have to live here to park your fucking car here because we fucked up and we put too many people in one spot. 0.98
00:11:07.000 You can't park. 1.00
00:11:08.000 That's ridiculous, man. 0.97
00:11:09.000 That's the worst thing in the world about when you do sets in Hollywood. 0.98
00:11:12.000 I used to park my car in the improv.
00:11:15.000 I used to let the valets park it. 1.00
00:11:17.000 But they let some fucking chick, she was drunk, man, and she fucked up my car. 1.00
00:11:22.000 She was pulling it out of a spot, and it was a really tight little area, and she just turned her wheel and hit the gas and just jacked my fucking car. 1.00
00:11:30.000 She didn't have no insurance. 0.99
00:11:31.000 And I'm like, why am I letting these people park my car? 0.99
00:11:34.000 They're obviously not looking after my shit. 0.99
00:11:36.000 So I stopped doing that. 0.99
00:11:37.000 You know what that reminded me of?
00:11:38.000 What?
00:11:39.000 Back in 2002 when you tore your knee and you couldn't drive your NSX and I had to drive it for you.
00:11:45.000 You were so mad at me.
00:11:46.000 He doesn't know how to drive a stick.
00:11:48.000 He was really mad at me.
00:11:49.000 He wasn't really mad at you.
00:11:51.000 He kept putting it in neutral on the highway and then dropping it down.
00:11:55.000 It was an NSX. It had a lot of horsepower, man.
00:11:57.000 I wasn't used to it. 0.98
00:11:58.000 I was driving caravans and shit up to that point. 0.96
00:12:01.000 That's hilarious. 0.98
00:12:02.000 And 1972 Ford Courier.
00:12:03.000 Eddie was so funny because I've never seen someone so, like, breaking down the effect a car has on girls.
00:12:09.000 His need to...
00:12:11.000 Tor.
00:12:11.000 He's sitting in his car.
00:12:13.000 I'm trying to help him. 0.99
00:12:14.000 And he's fucking, he's got pain here. 1.00
00:12:16.000 And he's like, fuck, he's grinding my clutch. 1.00
00:12:18.000 He's fucking my clutch up. 1.00
00:12:20.000 And his knee, I'm taking him to like emergencies, not surgery. 0.99
00:12:24.000 We had to go to get an MRI. Yeah.
00:12:27.000 The doctor gave me an MRI immediately.
00:12:29.000 Were you screaming on the top of your lungs? 0.97
00:12:31.000 Because when I fucked my knee up, I was just screaming in tears. 0.99
00:12:33.000 This was a bad one. 0.96
00:12:34.000 I've had a bunch of different knee injuries, but the most painful one is ironically the one that healed the quickest.
00:12:40.000 That's the meniscus one.
00:12:41.000 Once they did the meniscus surgery, it was like six weeks later, I was on the mat again.
00:12:45.000 But when I had my ACL torn, both times it's not that painful, not nearly as painful.
00:12:50.000 The meniscus is what's really painful. 0.95
00:12:52.000 The ACL just kind of snaps, and it's fucked, and it hurts a little bit, and then your leg's wobbling. 0.99
00:12:57.000 You're like, what the fuck? 0.99
00:12:58.000 And then you go to a doctor, and they go, you don't have a ligament anymore. 0.99
00:13:00.000 You have to get an artificial ligament put in place.
00:13:02.000 And it takes six months before you totally heal up.
00:13:04.000 But the pain is nothing.
00:13:06.000 It's not that big a deal.
00:13:07.000 The pain of the meniscus tear, I had what's called a bucket handle tear.
00:13:10.000 And it's called a bucket handle, because you know how a bucket handle can flip up?
00:13:14.000 And it can, like, stop, like, in the center, in the center position.
00:13:17.000 Well, that's what it's like.
00:13:18.000 It's like the handle of a bucket.
00:13:19.000 It, like, literally peels up and gets locked in place. 0.97
00:13:22.000 So the sliver of meniscus is locked, and it's tearing, and it's just excruciating fucking, like, soft tissue pain. 0.96
00:13:30.000 It's really painful. 0.80
00:13:31.000 I had, I don't know what this is called, but where the top bone and the bottom bone, like, I twist my leg weird, and it...
00:13:38.000 hit each other.
00:13:39.000 Oh.
00:13:40.000 The thing in the middle, I guess the knee socket or something, snapped out of place and the top bone hit the bottom bone and then snapped right back. 0.97
00:13:46.000 Didn't you say it's still fucked up? 0.98
00:13:48.000 Like it still wobbles on you? 0.99
00:13:49.000 Yeah, it still feels like it's going to happen again all the time.
00:13:52.000 Like I'm so paranoid because when that happened, I was filming a home video and in the video you could just hear me scream like...
00:14:01.000 Like Bloody Mary and then...
00:14:03.000 Bloody Mary?
00:14:04.000 Bloody Murder.
00:14:05.000 I'm thinking of a different thing.
00:14:06.000 Get that video and then post it. 1.00
00:14:08.000 Yeah, you have that shit? 1.00
00:14:09.000 It's one of those videos my dad has on some VHS tape somewhere. 1.00
00:14:13.000 We need to fucking scour your dad's closets. 0.98
00:14:15.000 We need to have a video for this story, son. 0.99
00:14:17.000 I never finished the video.
00:14:19.000 So did you break a ligament?
00:14:22.000 Do you know what you did?
00:14:22.000 He said that...
00:14:24.000 I mean, this was a long time ago.
00:14:25.000 But he told me what happened and I had to wear this cast thing for a long time.
00:14:30.000 Maybe like six months or something like that. 0.99
00:14:32.000 Damn. 0.99
00:14:32.000 Ever since then. 0.99
00:14:33.000 Six months, huh?
00:14:34.000 Yeah, it was a while.
00:14:36.000 Wow. 0.97
00:14:38.000 Yeah, the body is so goddamn fragile. 0.97
00:14:41.000 I was in, we were in Pittsburgh, and we were watching dudes on motorcycles with no helmets. 0.96
00:14:46.000 They don't have a helmet law there. 1.00
00:14:47.000 Just watching them drive around, like, God, you silly fuck. 1.00
00:14:50.000 Like, your body's so fragile, you don't even know. 1.00
00:14:53.000 If you knew what could happen to your head if you hit the ground, would you be willing to roll those dice?
00:14:58.000 Would you really be willing to just get on a bike with a bunch of people and trust them not to slam into you? 1.00
00:15:03.000 Trust them not to smash your fucking head off the concrete? 1.00
00:15:07.000 Really? 1.00
00:15:07.000 You're gonna just trust them? 1.00
00:15:08.000 The problem with motorcycles is that the reason you get it is because you want chicks to see you on the motorcycle. 1.00
00:15:14.000 On the helmet, they can't see you.
00:15:16.000 So that's why those Harley guys, they found a loophole. 0.99
00:15:18.000 They just put a little cap on the fucking top. 0.99
00:15:21.000 They want their face exposed, man. 1.00
00:15:22.000 It always goes to that with you.
00:15:24.000 It always goes to impressive chicks. 1.00
00:15:27.000 We're in that NSX. We're driving around.
00:15:30.000 I'm in fucking pain. 0.99
00:15:31.000 Eddie's driving and dropping it down to fourth gear on the highway, and she doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, right? 1.00
00:15:36.000 And while he's looking around, he's like, damn, chicks are looking at me, man. 0.99
00:15:40.000 Girls are looking at me. 1.00
00:15:41.000 They never look at me in my fucking Bronco. 1.00
00:15:42.000 Dude, bitches are looking at me. 1.00
00:15:44.000 Look at that bitch right there. 1.00
00:15:45.000 She's looking at me, man. 1.00
00:15:46.000 She's looking at me right now.
00:15:47.000 Explore.
00:15:47.000 Explore, I'm sorry.
00:15:48.000 Dude, when we would drive your barracuda, the big fish, the catfish. 0.55
00:15:53.000 Sick fish.
00:15:53.000 Sick fish.
00:15:55.000 Old men wanted to suck your dick. 1.00
00:15:58.000 They were like pulling up going, oh, everybody that was, you know, have you ever been in his car driving around? 1.00
00:16:03.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:16:04.000 Everybody says, holy shit, like 15-year-old dudes that are rappers and shit look over and trip out, you know? 1.00
00:16:11.000 It's too ridiculous. 1.00
00:16:12.000 It's too much. 0.99
00:16:13.000 It sounds like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
00:16:15.000 It sounded like machine guns going off.
00:16:17.000 When you rev it.
00:16:17.000 Yeah.
00:16:18.000 How does it sound?
00:16:19.000 Do it?
00:16:19.000 I forget.
00:16:20.000 Boom.
00:16:21.000 No, it's a lot louder than that.
00:16:23.000 My friend just did a photo shoot with Kit from the original Knight Rider car from the 80s, though.
00:16:27.000 A photo shoot with Kit?
00:16:29.000 Yeah, and I was thinking, wow, some guy owns Kit, and he rents it out.
00:16:33.000 I think it's an Asian businessman. 0.61
00:16:35.000 And he rents it out, and I'm thinking, wow, they actually let Kit mix with porn.
00:16:39.000 That's weird to me.
00:16:40.000 I guess they don't have control over a kid's image anymore.
00:16:43.000 Yeah, isn't that weird, though?
00:16:44.000 Yeah, they're doing a lot of shows.
00:16:45.000 I think after 25 years, it's like public domain or something.
00:16:48.000 I wonder if it is.
00:16:49.000 Some things are, right?
00:16:51.000 Aren't some movies public domain?
00:16:53.000 Books are public domain after a certain amount of time.
00:16:55.000 Yeah, like Huck Finn.
00:16:56.000 Yeah, how many years is it?
00:16:57.000 I think the only movies are kung fu theater.
00:16:59.000 I think you can do anything you want with those kinds of things.
00:17:03.000 You can start your own TV station and just put nothing but Kung Fu Thin.
00:17:06.000 No one owns them.
00:17:08.000 It costs more to just keep the license going than they're worth.
00:17:14.000 Really?
00:17:15.000 So no one owns them, literally?
00:17:16.000 You can't.
00:17:17.000 Nobody.
00:17:18.000 Yeah, nobody owns them.
00:17:19.000 Really?
00:17:20.000 Nobody owns them.
00:17:20.000 They're public domain.
00:17:21.000 How many movies, you think?
00:17:23.000 Dude, I'm not an expert in this, but I'm pretty damn sure.
00:17:26.000 Nobody.
00:17:27.000 It's a public domain. 0.99
00:17:29.000 You've got to get this shit registered every 25 years or so. 0.99
00:17:32.000 And if there's no one there to register, and most of those guys are in China, and they're dead from the triads and shit. 0.99
00:17:40.000 I had a friend of mine from my old Taekwondo days, my friend Larry Jones. 0.94
00:17:44.000 Larry Jones was a fiend for Chinese Kung Fu movies.
00:17:48.000 And he would always go, and he would come to the gym the next day.
00:17:51.000 Oh man, I saw this badass Shaolin, these Shaolin Seven Monks. 1.00
00:17:57.000 He would, like, every week it would be some new fucking kung fu movie that he just saw and loved. 0.86
00:18:02.000 And he would get together with a bunch of his friends from the gym, and they would all go watch these kung fu movies. 0.95
00:18:06.000 They'd get excited and watch these...
00:18:07.000 They were like real fighters. 0.98
00:18:08.000 And they were going and watching these shitty kung fu movies. 0.97
00:18:11.000 And I tried to watch them. 0.98
00:18:12.000 I never got into them.
00:18:12.000 I tried, man.
00:18:13.000 I sat down with them.
00:18:14.000 I tried to watch them.
00:18:15.000 Because we got Bruce Lee first.
00:18:15.000 That's the problem.
00:18:16.000 Anybody who got Bruce Lee first is not into kung fu theater.
00:18:19.000 I don't think so.
00:18:20.000 How could you...
00:18:20.000 I tried.
00:18:21.000 You know what I mean?
00:18:21.000 I think...
00:18:23.000 I don't know what it is, really.
00:18:24.000 That's just my guess. 1.00
00:18:25.000 But after seeing Bruce Lee, you're like, fuck these guys. 1.00
00:18:28.000 Everyone's trying to... 1.00
00:18:29.000 I mean, there was Bruce Lies out there.
00:18:31.000 How about that?
00:18:31.000 Bruce Lies.
00:18:32.000 There was more than one, right?
00:18:33.000 How many Bruce Lies were there?
00:18:34.000 How famous was he?
00:18:36.000 Was he famous?
00:18:36.000 Like in China?
00:18:37.000 Was he going to the club, popping bottles?
00:18:39.000 You know what I mean?
00:18:40.000 For a couple years, he probably got laid.
00:18:42.000 He was like Dan Cortez. 1.00
00:18:43.000 That's how dumb these people think the people are. 0.99
00:18:48.000 That they could just put a fake Bruce Lee up? 0.99
00:18:51.000 And a good percentage of them are not even going to know the difference.
00:18:54.000 Is it because he was almost playing a character, would you think?
00:18:57.000 Maybe he was almost like a James Bond?
00:18:59.000 Well, when they put out Game of Death, they only had 10 minutes of that movie with Bruce Lee.
00:19:03.000 The whole movie is not Bruce Lee.
00:19:06.000 If you watch Game of Death, the beginning of Game of Death is the end of Return of the Dragon.
00:19:12.000 They start with the Chuck Norris fight, so it looks like a Bruce Lee movie.
00:19:15.000 Right.
00:19:16.000 But that's another movie.
00:19:17.000 So they replayed that scene again?
00:19:20.000 The exact same footage?
00:19:21.000 In the beginning.
00:19:21.000 That's how Game of Death starts.
00:19:23.000 The only thing that's Bruce Lee is the end.
00:19:25.000 Where he goes up and fights...
00:19:27.000 Fights Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
00:19:28.000 That's all him.
00:19:29.000 But everything, the whole movie is an imposter.
00:19:32.000 I need to see that.
00:19:32.000 Wow, I need to see that again, too.
00:19:34.000 Dude, it's hilarious.
00:19:37.000 And in the beginning, there's a scene where the fake Bruce Lee's sitting at his dressing room, because this is how they started it.
00:19:42.000 They start the movie with the fight with Chuck Norris in Return of the Dragon.
00:19:46.000 Right.
00:19:47.000 And then the movie is about a famous martial arts superstar loosely based on Bruce Lee.
00:19:53.000 So once all the credits are over and the fight's over, they go, cut!
00:19:57.000 And then Bruce Lee, a fake Bruce Lee, walks off set.
00:20:00.000 Like, all of a sudden, that was just a movie, that fight scene.
00:20:03.000 And it's about a famous actor and the Chinese tribes are trying to control him or whatever. 0.57
00:20:08.000 So, from that point on, it's a fake Bruce Lee the whole time.
00:20:11.000 He's sitting in his dressing room.
00:20:12.000 He's talking to this guy, this mafia guy.
00:20:14.000 And they put a picture, a still picture, like, right where his head's at.
00:20:19.000 There's a still picture.
00:20:20.000 So, it's a Bruce, a picture of Bruce Lee on a, you can see the guy's shoulders moving.
00:20:24.000 It's a moving picture.
00:20:25.000 That's how bad it was.
00:20:26.000 Wow.
00:20:27.000 And everyone believes it. 1.00
00:20:29.000 I was seven years old when that shit came out. 0.99
00:20:31.000 I didn't know the difference. 0.99
00:20:32.000 I didn't know the difference.
00:20:33.000 They fooled me.
00:20:34.000 They fooled the kids.
00:20:36.000 Maybe back then that special effect actually fooled adults too.
00:20:39.000 And the whole movie he's got big shades on and they never get any close-up.
00:20:42.000 It's always from the side and he's got big shades on.
00:20:46.000 I wonder how much that movie cost.
00:20:48.000 How much did that cost to make?
00:20:51.000 They probably made a fuckload of money with it too, right?
00:20:53.000 It was a major movie! 0.96
00:20:55.000 They didn't have fucking Yelp back then. 0.97
00:20:57.000 They didn't have Fandora. 0.99
00:20:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:20:59.000 You can't find out how bad a movie was by just going online. 1.00
00:21:02.000 Now you find out real quick if a movie's a piece of shit. 0.99
00:21:07.000 It could be out a couple hours and people are already freaking out about it. 0.99
00:21:10.000 Even before, because people get screeners.
00:21:13.000 They get previews before.
00:21:15.000 People go to previews. 0.99
00:21:16.000 You can't sneak a shitty movie through anymore. 0.99
00:21:20.000 But back in that day, I bet it took weeks before everybody figured out that movie sucked. 0.99
00:21:24.000 Yeah. 0.87
00:21:24.000 Game of Death? 0.87
00:21:25.000 Yeah.
00:21:26.000 To kids, I thought it was great because the end is a classic.
00:21:28.000 It's still Bruce Lee.
00:21:29.000 The end is strong.
00:21:30.000 He fights Dan Inosano, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, some Taekwondo guy. 0.99
00:21:34.000 All that shit's beautiful. 0.99
00:21:35.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:21:36.000 That was pretty badass.
00:21:37.000 And that's really the only scene people remember when they watch it as a kid.
00:21:41.000 You remember, remember Game of Death?
00:21:42.000 He's fighting Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
00:21:44.000 That's really all you remember. 0.98
00:21:45.000 You don't remember all the bullshit in the middle. 1.00
00:21:46.000 All the fake shit. 0.99
00:21:47.000 But when me and my friends are talking about the best Bruce Lee move ever, the best Bruce Lee movie ever was actually done by the fake Bruce Lee. 0.99
00:21:57.000 A guy was holding him like this.
00:22:00.000 He came from behind and held him.
00:22:02.000 And the fake Bruce Lee did a backflip, kicked him, and landed back on his face.
00:22:08.000 It was a fake Bruce Lee?
00:22:10.000 The fake Bruce Lee from Game of Death.
00:22:11.000 The guy was holding him like this, he was behind him, and he did a backflip, kicked him, and then landed on his feet.
00:22:17.000 I wonder if that one dude, if he still goes around.
00:22:19.000 You remember that scene?
00:22:20.000 You remember?
00:22:21.000 Game of Death?
00:22:22.000 He looks like Bruce Lee.
00:22:23.000 It's not Bruce Lee, it's me!
00:22:24.000 We need a documentary on the fake Bruce Lee.
00:22:27.000 Bruce Lee, like all of them.
00:22:28.000 Well, we need a documentary on the guy who did that flip.
00:22:32.000 But that was cuts in it, so it wasn't like one thing, you know?
00:22:35.000 That was some cuts in it. 0.99
00:22:37.000 So it wasn't just some wild kamikaze type shit. 0.94
00:22:39.000 But that was in the top three of best Bruce Lee moves ever, and it wasn't even him. 0.96
00:22:43.000 When I met Chuck Norris, it was one of the few times in my life where I was genuinely freaked out.
00:22:49.000 Like, I'm shaking his hand, I'm going to meet him, and he knows who I am, he's talking to me. 0.97
00:22:52.000 And I'm like, holy shit, this is Chuck Norris. 0.97
00:22:55.000 Like, this is really Chuck Norris. 0.97
00:22:57.000 And the thing I thought about was that movie with him and Bruce Lee. 0.98
00:23:00.000 I'm like, this motherfucker fought Bruce Lee in a movie. 0.99
00:23:03.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99
00:23:05.000 I mean, that is a crazy scene, too.
00:23:07.000 He's like the badass karate guy.
00:23:09.000 And Bruce Lee and him go at it. 0.99
00:23:11.000 Holy shit, that was a good scene. 0.99
00:23:13.000 It was hard to top Bruce Lee. 1.00
00:23:14.000 Just his face.
00:23:16.000 I used to like Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris was down with Bruce Lee.
00:23:20.000 By association.
00:23:22.000 Even though Chuck Norris wasn't as dynamic as Bruce Lee, he was still in a Bruce Lee movie. 0.99
00:23:27.000 And there was some cool shit about him because he was American and he wore cowboy boots and a fucking cowboy hat and he'd jack guys up. 1.00
00:23:32.000 Sort of like a karate but American style. 0.99
00:23:35.000 I thought he was alright.
00:23:37.000 It was alright.
00:23:37.000 Lomo McQuaid, him and David Carradine.
00:23:40.000 Come on, son.
00:23:41.000 Do you remember Billy Jack?
00:23:42.000 Yes, I do.
00:23:43.000 Dude, the cowboy with the roundhouse kicks that he was known for his roundhouse. 0.99
00:23:46.000 Remember he would tell the guy, I'm gonna put this foot upside your head and there's not a thing you can do about it. 1.00
00:23:52.000 I remember thinking at the time, wow, that is fucking a white guy talking shit. 1.00
00:23:56.000 But he wasn't really white. 1.00
00:23:57.000 He was American Indian.
00:23:58.000 Nobody under 30 remembers Billy Jack.
00:24:00.000 Nobody.
00:24:01.000 Nobody knows Billy Jack. 0.99
00:24:02.000 And Billy Jack, there was always these hippie bitches that were around him, bothering him all the time. 1.00
00:24:08.000 He would take care of the hippies. 0.99
00:24:10.000 And he was half Indian or something, wasn't he? 0.99
00:24:12.000 I don't fucking remember. 0.97
00:24:13.000 Something along those lines. 0.98
00:24:15.000 That'd be cool if Chuck Norris flew around in Airwolf.
00:24:18.000 You know, like that was his modes of transportation.
00:24:20.000 If he flew around in a giant helicopter?
00:24:22.000 From the 80s.
00:24:23.000 Remember those, when, did we ever talk about those?
00:24:25.000 It seems like we did.
00:24:26.000 Where helicopters were really popular in the 80s, and there was like Blue Thunder, Airwolf, and there was all these sitcoms about helicopters.
00:24:33.000 Drama shows.
00:24:34.000 Drama shows. 0.99
00:24:34.000 Yeah, what the fuck was that about? 0.99
00:24:37.000 It's like, wow. 0.99
00:24:38.000 It's like, you know, it's like sort of we were talking about Knight Rider, a fucking, you know, a show about a car. 0.98
00:24:43.000 Right. 0.98
00:24:43.000 But at least that car talked. 0.98
00:24:45.000 Yeah.
00:24:46.000 This back then was just like, no, that's just a badass helicopter.
00:24:48.000 Yeah, right?
00:24:49.000 Remember it was Roy Schreider?
00:24:51.000 Schreider using Blue Thunder?
00:24:53.000 Yeah, Blue Thunder. 1.00
00:24:54.000 That fucking stupid movie about a giant helicopter. 1.00
00:24:57.000 Crazy. 1.00
00:24:57.000 Crazy. 1.00
00:24:58.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
00:24:59.000 It's amazing when you go back just a couple of decades and look at the shit that people were willing to tolerate. 1.00
00:25:05.000 People were so stupid. 1.00
00:25:06.000 You know, if you want evolution, man, you need to look no further than human television. 1.00
00:25:11.000 Look at TV shows from like the 50s.
00:25:13.000 Go try to watch like Andy Rooney.
00:25:15.000 I was watching a clip online.
00:25:16.000 It was from the Andy Griffith show and it was Jack Nicholson.
00:25:21.000 Jack Nicholson was playing a bad guy.
00:25:24.000 And Ron Howard was in it when he was a little boy.
00:25:27.000 Opie?
00:25:27.000 Yeah, when he was Opie.
00:25:29.000 Before he was Opie.
00:25:30.000 Pre-Opie.
00:25:30.000 Pre-Opie.
00:25:31.000 Wow.
00:25:31.000 He was Opie on Happy Days.
00:25:34.000 Yes.
00:25:34.000 What was he on the other show?
00:25:36.000 On the Andy Griffith show?
00:25:37.000 He was the little brat kid.
00:25:39.000 He was a little boy.
00:25:41.000 Yeah.
00:25:41.000 He was a little boy.
00:25:42.000 And Jack Nicholson is there. 1.00
00:25:43.000 And it's so stupid. 1.00
00:25:47.000 It's just so obviously dumb. 1.00
00:25:50.000 It's like if you had it on today, you would just start throwing shit at the TV. You'd go, what? 1.00
00:25:53.000 What the fuck kind of acting is? 1.00
00:25:55.000 What the fuck kind of show is this? 1.00
00:25:57.000 Who wrote this stupid thing? 1.00
00:25:59.000 But back then, that shit flew. 1.00
00:26:01.000 That was entertainment. 1.00
00:26:02.000 I can't watch fucking anything in black and white, except for Twilight Zone. 0.98
00:26:06.000 I can still watch that, because they never had... 0.98
00:26:09.000 They sometimes had happy endings, but you never knew if it was going to be a bad ending, sad ending, happy ending.
00:26:15.000 I love that. 0.68
00:26:16.000 But one show, 99.9 of everything back then, to me, in my opinion, sucked.
00:26:22.000 You're right.
00:26:23.000 But I Love Lucy.
00:26:24.000 Every now and then you watch that, there was some clever writing in I Love Lucy.
00:26:27.000 I mean, that thing stood the test of time.
00:26:29.000 You're still showing it now.
00:26:30.000 It's still on now. 0.99
00:26:32.000 You're right, most things suck, but there's a few that fucking, that really stand out still. 0.99
00:26:36.000 Like, The Hustler. 0.99
00:26:37.000 You ever watch The Hustler with Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman?
00:26:39.000 Oh, the movie, yeah. 0.99
00:26:40.000 Yeah, with, um, who the fuck played Bert? 0.99
00:26:42.000 Um, the guy from shit, I forget. 0.99
00:26:45.000 But, uh, very famous actor as well. 0.99
00:26:47.000 And, uh, just, it's fucking incredible. 0.89
00:26:49.000 Piper Laurie, you know, that woman, she played, uh, The chick in the movie. 1.00
00:26:52.000 It's a fucking great story. 0.97
00:26:54.000 It's a good, well-acted movie. 0.99
00:26:56.000 And it's from like 1963. There's a few.
00:26:59.000 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 0.99
00:27:00.000 That's Elizabeth Taylor back when she was hot as fuck. 1.00
00:27:03.000 Elizabeth Taylor was hot as fuck back then. 1.00
00:27:06.000 And Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a badass fucking movie that completely holds the test of time. 0.99
00:27:11.000 If you watch that movie today, you'll be like, whoa, that was a good goddamn movie. 0.99
00:27:14.000 And it was like from 1960 or something like that. 0.98
00:27:16.000 There's a few movies from back then where they really nailed it.
00:27:19.000 They really got it right.
00:27:20.000 Do you remember that movie?
00:27:21.000 I forget the name of it.
00:27:22.000 It had, I think, Joe Piscopo during his big...
00:27:26.000 when he was kind of famous in the early 80s.
00:27:28.000 And it used to have this little documentary in the middle of...
00:27:31.000 Johnny Dangerously?
00:27:32.000 Is that the name of it?
00:27:33.000 Yeah.
00:27:34.000 Johnny Dangerously was... 0.99
00:27:36.000 What the fuck is his name? 0.99
00:27:37.000 Joe Piscopo? 1.00
00:27:38.000 Yeah, Joe Piscopo.
00:27:39.000 And what was the other guy?
00:27:40.000 The guy was Batman, the first Batman.
00:27:42.000 Michael Keaton?
00:27:42.000 Michael Keaton, yeah.
00:27:43.000 And remember the cartoon? 0.99
00:27:45.000 As a kid, I remember thinking how cool this was that your penis and you. 0.99
00:27:49.000 And it was like this animated cartoon of this penis and two balls walking around and stuff. 0.99
00:27:54.000 I don't remember that at all. 1.00
00:27:55.000 Yeah, you gotta check out this penis sometime. 1.00
00:27:57.000 It's pretty good. 0.99
00:27:58.000 George C. Scott was the other guy who was in The Hustler. 0.99
00:28:00.000 It's a fucking great movie. 0.98
00:28:02.000 And that's 1961, man. 0.99
00:28:03.000 It's not even 63. 61. They were idiots back then.
00:28:08.000 Goddamn, they were stupid. 1.00
00:28:10.000 Really, man. 1.00
00:28:11.000 I mean, it's a good movie, but even though it's a good movie, you could still tell how goofy people were back then.
00:28:17.000 Look at Richard Nixon.
00:28:18.000 You watch him talk. 0.99
00:28:19.000 If your bullshit radar doesn't go off when you're watching Richard Nixon, just any kind of speech, It's like George W. Bush. 0.99
00:28:27.000 Same thing. 0.99
00:28:28.000 That's what I was going to say.
00:28:29.000 You can't say that because of Bush. 1.00
00:28:32.000 The real problem with lying politicians is there's a lot of fucking dumb people out there, man. 1.00
00:28:38.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:28:40.000 George W. Bush is the master. 0.99
00:28:42.000 For sure, he's the master of the dummies. 0.98
00:28:45.000 But Richard Nixon was pretty bad, too. 0.98
00:28:46.000 Everyone else is not that bad.
00:28:48.000 Bill Clinton's smooth.
00:28:49.000 Obama's smooth as hell.
00:28:51.000 Even Ronald Reagan was smooth as hell.
00:28:53.000 You know, Richard Carter, he sounds like he's a smart guy.
00:28:55.000 Richard Carter.
00:28:56.000 Jimmy Carter. 1.00
00:28:57.000 Yeah, you know, that fucking guy. 1.00
00:29:00.000 By the way, Opie... 1.00
00:29:00.000 Richard Nixon. 1.00
00:29:02.000 He sounded like a smart guy, but he sounded paranoid and insincere in everything he said.
00:29:07.000 Richard Nixon?
00:29:08.000 Richard Nixon. 1.00
00:29:08.000 Yeah, he was a piece of shit. 1.00
00:29:10.000 He was a terrible person. 1.00
00:29:12.000 He was one of those guys that got away with shit back in the time where you could get away with anything. 1.00
00:29:16.000 You know, the days before they killed Kennedy, You know, till, you know, till Nixon's era and, you know, you go deep into Reagan. 0.99
00:29:23.000 People are getting away with all kinds of crazy shit that you can never get away with now. 0.99
00:29:26.000 You know, and they got away with a lot of dirty fucking politics back then, too. 0.99
00:29:30.000 What Nixon did was totally standard stuff. 0.98
00:29:32.000 What he got impeached for at Watergate was something they all did, man.
00:29:36.000 We've been doing that to the Russians forever. 1.00
00:29:38.000 You know, I have a buddy...
00:29:40.000 I guess we shouldn't say his name, who used to work for the U.S. Embassy in Russia.
00:29:44.000 And he would find all these...
00:29:47.000 It was like standard.
00:29:48.000 They would find all these audio detection devices all over the place, or audio recording devices, where the Russians were listening into them.
00:29:55.000 Wow.
00:29:55.000 They found these Russian things that they made were so complicated that they operated on the swaying of the building, that that's what powered them.
00:30:06.000 The swaying of the building back and forth actually charged them up and powered them.
00:30:11.000 Wow.
00:30:11.000 So they had no external source of power.
00:30:14.000 These were like, this was so complicated. 0.99
00:30:16.000 He's like, when they found that stuff, he's like, we didn't even know this shit existed. 0.99
00:30:21.000 So that's been standard. 0.98
00:30:22.000 People have been spying on people and listening in to people.
00:30:25.000 That's just what they do. 1.00
00:30:26.000 Every fucking politician, every president did it. 1.00
00:30:29.000 You don't think Kennedy did it? 1.00
00:30:31.000 You know, everybody likes to look at Kennedy like he's this rosy, you know, beautiful figure from our liberal back, you know, or liberal past. 0.99
00:30:38.000 But Kennedy's family was all fucking moonshine runners. 0.99
00:30:40.000 They made all their money selling illegal booze. 0.99
00:30:43.000 And there was all sorts of people that were just like the Tea Party people today trying to get rid of Obama and going crazy about the democratically elected president.
00:30:51.000 The Democrat president, rather.
00:30:52.000 They were doing the same thing for Kennedy.
00:30:54.000 They were wanted for treason.
00:30:55.000 They'd make posters with Kennedy's face on it. 1.00
00:30:57.000 Nobody likes to think about that shit because it happened so long ago. 0.99
00:31:00.000 And what about the fact that he was, out of all the presidents that have ever existed, he's the one who had the worst reputation as far as womanizing? 1.00
00:31:07.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:31:08.000 Dude, if they found out what he was doing today, he was probably just straight Clinton and bitches. 0.99
00:31:13.000 Clinton. 1.00
00:31:13.000 More than Clinton. 1.00
00:31:14.000 You think he was?
00:31:15.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:31:15.000 I shouldn't say Clinton-en, because what a Clinton move is, Clinton moves, you get a girl alone, you just whip your cock out. 1.00
00:31:22.000 And then they scream and fucking run away from you and freak out and you go to jail. 1.00
00:31:27.000 That's a Clinton move. 0.99
00:31:27.000 He's the only president that probably rocked it that way. 0.99
00:31:31.000 He's probably Obamining that shit. 1.00
00:31:33.000 Tearing that shit up. 1.00
00:31:35.000 Obama's probably not doing anything. 0.99
00:31:35.000 You know what they should do? 0.99
00:31:36.000 The president should be smart. 1.00
00:31:37.000 If they're going to fuck around with these interns, offer them and their family a spot in the underground cities when shit goes down, they ain't going to say shit. 1.00
00:31:45.000 Eddie Brown was a firm believer in the underground cities. 1.00
00:31:47.000 They're building them.
00:31:48.000 It's not like that much of a secret.
00:31:50.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:31:50.000 I mean, I've seen underground bunkers and bases and shit like that, but you're a believer in that shit. 1.00
00:31:56.000 You want to go there if the shit goes down? 0.99
00:31:57.000 I'm trying to teach jiu-jitsu to CIA agents to hook me up. 0.99
00:32:02.000 Like, hook me up!
00:32:03.000 Give me a couple VIP passes.
00:32:05.000 Dude, the moment the first atomic bomb blows or the first asteroid hits, I want to be under that thing.
00:32:14.000 I want to be at the epicenter, wherever that bomb goes off.
00:32:17.000 I want to be at the part where all they find of you is a shadow.
00:32:21.000 That's what I want to be.
00:32:22.000 I want to be right there. 1.00
00:32:23.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:32:25.000 I'm not down with some Mad Max shit. 1.00
00:32:26.000 I don't want to be killing people with axes and stuff. 0.99
00:32:28.000 Imagine being sick and not having hospitals to go to. 1.00
00:32:30.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:32:31.000 That's going to definitely suck. 1.00
00:32:33.000 I agree with you there.
00:32:34.000 But if the bomb drops in New Mexico and we're feeling a fallout here but you're still alive, what do you do? 0.96
00:32:40.000 Blow your head up?
00:32:41.000 No.
00:32:42.000 No.
00:32:42.000 Look, I'm going to follow my human instincts and keep on keeping on.
00:32:45.000 But, if I had to choose between living a life of fucking cancer and radiation and zombies or getting hit in the head by a meteor, I'll take getting hit in the head by a meteor. 0.98
00:32:54.000 What's your take on the zombie situation? 0.99
00:32:56.000 It's funny how many fucking shows and movies and things... 0.99
00:33:00.000 There's people that believe they're real. 0.99
00:33:01.000 There's radio shows where they're talking about preparing against zombies.
00:33:05.000 Well, yeah.
00:33:05.000 The reason why is because we know about so many parasitic animals in the animal kingdom that change the host.
00:33:13.000 And turn the host into something that it's not.
00:33:15.000 We know of, there's an aquatic worm we've talked about before.
00:33:18.000 Take a drink if you're playing the podcast drinking game.
00:33:21.000 We've talked about it before.
00:33:22.000 Reprograms a grasshopper's brain, this aquatic worm.
00:33:25.000 It infests the grasshopper, reprograms its brain, and then convinces the grasshopper to drown.
00:33:31.000 Convinces it to jump in the water and drown so that it can be born.
00:33:33.000 And it busts out of this thing's body cavity. 0.85
00:33:35.000 It makes it commit suicide. 0.97
00:33:37.000 So we know that there's all sorts of parasites that change the host and get the host to do their bidding.
00:33:42.000 And we also know about rabies.
00:33:44.000 We know that, you know, dogs get rabies.
00:33:46.000 That's a wrap, son.
00:33:46.000 They're dead.
00:33:47.000 That's it. 1.00
00:33:47.000 You've got to kill that dog. 1.00
00:33:48.000 They don't even cure them. 1.00
00:33:49.000 You can't cure a dog from rabies. 1.00
00:33:51.000 You've got to kill that fucking thing. 1.00
00:33:52.000 And if you get rabies, you could die, too. 1.00
00:33:54.000 So rabies will turn a dog into a vicious fucking animal, like your own pet. 1.00
00:33:59.000 I had a dog that had distemper once, and it tried to bite me, man. 1.00
00:34:02.000 A Doberman pincher.
00:34:03.000 Dover in pictures snapping at me.
00:34:04.000 I was like 12 years old.
00:34:05.000 I was stuck in my living room with this dog that was sick.
00:34:08.000 And I realized halfway through, looking at this dog's eyes, there's something wrong here.
00:34:11.000 I'm like, this thing is really going to get me.
00:34:13.000 This is my dog.
00:34:14.000 My dog's going to kill me. 0.54
00:34:16.000 I really thought it was going to kill me.
00:34:18.000 We had to get the dog put down. 1.00
00:34:19.000 It was scary shit. 0.98
00:34:20.000 But what about people that are dead? 1.00
00:34:21.000 They're buried.
00:34:22.000 And then they crawl out of the dirt. 1.00
00:34:25.000 Those people are retarded. 1.00
00:34:25.000 That's not going to happen. 1.00
00:34:26.000 That's not a zombie like that.
00:34:27.000 But what could happen is, you know, look, there's all these people that are getting their heads chopped off and frozen.
00:34:32.000 You know about all that?
00:34:33.000 Cryogenics? 1.00
00:34:34.000 You know about all that shit? 1.00
00:34:34.000 Yes. 1.00
00:34:35.000 I've heard about it.
00:34:35.000 Well, there's people that are getting their whole bodies frozen as well.
00:34:39.000 Like Walt Disney did, apparently.
00:34:40.000 They freeze your whole body and so that one day they can bring you back.
00:34:44.000 I believe that.
00:34:44.000 And then regenerate your body tissue.
00:34:46.000 I believe it.
00:34:46.000 Well, that might be when zombies happen.
00:34:48.000 Yeah.
00:34:48.000 Because maybe your soul's long gone and all of a sudden you just got this tissue with no consciousness that needs food all the time and eats anything in front of it.
00:34:56.000 And just grab a purse and...
00:34:57.000 And just start eating you if you don't feed it.
00:34:59.000 That's why I don't want to be cremated.
00:35:01.000 That's the exact reason. 0.85
00:35:02.000 I want to come back to life as a zombie. 1.00
00:35:05.000 You wanna do that and just come kill people? 0.99
00:35:07.000 I'm not gonna kill people. 0.99
00:35:09.000 I could be a cool zombie. 0.79
00:35:10.000 Zombies all live on human flesh, bro.
00:35:12.000 Do you not listen to the movie or pay attention?
00:35:15.000 What about the soul comes back?
00:35:18.000 I gotta go back.
00:35:19.000 Walt Disney's gonna be alive in a couple seconds.
00:35:22.000 I gotta go back.
00:35:23.000 Maybe.
00:35:23.000 Maybe they would be the first generation of people that came back with a memory of the afterlife.
00:35:27.000 Because when Kenny died, In South Park?
00:35:29.000 He came back.
00:35:30.000 Yeah. 0.86
00:35:30.000 Remember when he was playing video games in heaven to kill the Mormons? 0.86
00:35:34.000 Right. 1.00
00:35:34.000 Remember that shit? 1.00
00:35:35.000 Yeah, but Kenny died like a hundred times. 1.00
00:35:36.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:35:37.000 That's ridiculous. 0.87
00:35:38.000 But within the episode, he came back to life. 0.50
00:35:40.000 That's never happened.
00:35:41.000 Oh.
00:35:41.000 It only happened once.
00:35:42.000 Oh, really?
00:35:42.000 Yeah.
00:35:43.000 Hmm.
00:35:44.000 Yeah, every week he just came back and no one said a word about it.
00:35:46.000 Robot Chicken, they had an episode where Walt Disney comes back to life and he became like this monster that just ate Puerto Rican babies. 0.98
00:35:52.000 It's pretty funny.
00:35:53.000 The real possibility is the possibility that was expressed in that 28 Days Later. 0.99
00:35:58.000 That someone comes out with some fucking genetically altered super virus and That attacks the human body and literally turns you into some fucking freaky, crazed monster animal thing. 0.99
00:36:09.000 It's hard to kill. 1.00
00:36:11.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:36:11.000 Those fucking movies were awesome, man. 1.00
00:36:13.000 28 weeks later was okay. 1.00
00:36:15.000 It was alright.
00:36:16.000 It was pretty good.
00:36:17.000 It was pretty good.
00:36:17.000 But it was following one of the greatest horror movies of all time.
00:36:20.000 There was no way it could fucking really top that. 0.56
00:36:23.000 That thought is very terrifying to people. 0.99
00:36:25.000 The thought that one day you wake up and the whole world's fucked. 1.00
00:36:29.000 And there's people out there, when you're sleeping, they're coming and they have axes and shit and they want to eat you. 1.00
00:36:35.000 It's a terrible fucking thought. 1.00
00:36:37.000 The thought that people eating human flesh... 1.00
00:36:40.000 You know, it's been documented very recently that they think that it was done, like, ritualistically for thousands and thousands of years.
00:36:48.000 And that people have been eating people, like, whether they killed them in battle or that small children, they found small children with tool marks on their bodies that they're positive inside their brains, in the brain cavity.
00:37:01.000 That they're positive with someone scooping and scraping out their brains and cutting off their meat and eating it.
00:37:06.000 So people have been, yeah, people have been preying on other people for forever. 1.00
00:37:11.000 Look, man, when people are starving to death, you know, if you're living like thousands and thousands of years before written language and people are starving to death, And you're a bunch of fucking skin-wearing savages. 1.00
00:37:21.000 And you look over the hill and there's a bunch of other skin-wearing savages. 1.00
00:37:24.000 You look back at your babies that are screaming in agony because there's no food in their body. 1.00
00:37:28.000 And you say, I'm just going to go kill these motherfuckers and eat them. 1.00
00:37:32.000 And people did that shit. 1.00
00:37:33.000 I bet they did that shit all the time. 1.00
00:37:35.000 They probably ate their own babies, too. 1.00
00:37:37.000 They did eat there.
00:37:38.000 I'm sure they did.
00:37:38.000 Animals do it all the time.
00:37:39.000 If animals do it, for sure somewhere, a human, before it became the human being of circa 2011, for sure someone did everything that an animal's done.
00:37:48.000 Animals always eat babies. 1.00
00:37:50.000 I had hamsters, man.
00:37:51.000 And they got a wet tail, I think is what it's called.
00:37:54.000 It's a disease when I was a little kid. 1.00
00:37:56.000 And all of a sudden, our sweet mama hamster started eating her fucking babies, man. 1.00
00:38:02.000 And eating them brains first. 1.00
00:38:05.000 Like, just attacking the brain. 0.76
00:38:06.000 My mom was like, get out of the room. 1.00
00:38:07.000 I don't want you seeing this.
00:38:08.000 Get out of here.
00:38:08.000 And I had to peek in and see?
00:38:10.000 And this fucking hamster is just holding on to her babies and just braining them. 1.00
00:38:14.000 Are you kidding? 1.00
00:38:15.000 Oh, dude! 0.99
00:38:16.000 It was fucking deep, man. 0.97
00:38:18.000 I didn't know that was a real thing. 0.99
00:38:19.000 Dude, it was deep.
00:38:20.000 It was so hard to watch.
00:38:22.000 I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
00:38:24.000 This mama hamster that I always loved.
00:38:26.000 You know, we had the mama and the baby boy and...
00:38:29.000 And they got together and they made babies. 0.99
00:38:31.000 And the babies somehow or another got this fucking disease. 1.00
00:38:33.000 And the mother just killed them in front of us. 1.00
00:38:35.000 Killed them and ate them, bro. 1.00
00:38:37.000 It was fucked. 1.00
00:38:38.000 I never looked at that bitch the same way again. 1.00
00:38:40.000 She was no longer my friend. 1.00
00:38:42.000 You're rocking it to a different set of rules.
00:38:46.000 I can't just pick you up and pet you now. 1.00
00:38:49.000 I want to bash your brains on the sidewalk, you fucking creep. 1.00
00:38:53.000 You baby-eating creep. 1.00
00:38:55.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
00:38:59.000 the circle and stuff like that yeah you know like the world around and everything i was so mad at my sister once and i didn't know she had her hamster in the ball and so i'm like i'm not take this and i kicked it really hard thinking i was just gonna break the the ball the hamster just flew right out of it though and uh it was okay but it was the most scariest thing ever it It lived? 0.99
00:39:19.000 Yeah, but what was so gross is, you know when you're a kid and you see something disgusting and you're just like, I'm not going to look at it!
00:39:25.000 How durable are hamsters?
00:39:26.000 How durable are hamsters? 1.00
00:39:27.000 This motherfucker's filming a video and he falls down screaming like a little bitch just because he twisted your knee in a funny way. 1.00
00:39:35.000 And this hamster, you kick it across the room and it's okay. 1.00
00:39:38.000 Yeah, in a ball.
00:39:38.000 Doesn't even need to go to the doctor.
00:39:41.000 Yeah.
00:39:42.000 Hamsters, man.
00:39:42.000 So, speaking of people and their affection for animals, I was in Pittsburgh this last weekend for the UFC, and it was the same time as a furry convention.
00:39:54.000 And I don't know if you're aware of this, because I certainly as fuck wasn't. 0.93
00:39:58.000 I had heard of the term furry. 0.96
00:40:00.000 I'd heard it, like, very, very abstractly.
00:40:03.000 I never sat down and had a conversation with anyone about it.
00:40:06.000 It was just something that I'd maybe heard on the news or maybe saw...
00:40:09.000 You know, an article on the internet or something, but I never paid attention.
00:40:12.000 I was like, oh, there's some people that have a thing about wearing animal clothes, and maybe they have sex with animal clothes on. 0.81
00:40:17.000 I had no idea of the depth of this hobby. 0.99
00:40:23.000 I don't know what the fuck you would call it. 0.99
00:40:25.000 You know, this fascination, this thing that these people have. 0.99
00:40:30.000 And this is what a furry does.
00:40:32.000 What a furry is, is they want to look like a cartoon animal.
00:40:35.000 Like birds.
00:40:36.000 Bugs Bunny.
00:40:37.000 I think the term is anthropomorphic.
00:40:40.000 And what that means is, you know, human characteristics in an animal's body.
00:40:44.000 And so they like Wile E. Coyote because he stands up straight and looks like a person. 1.00
00:40:49.000 You know, that's the shit they're into. 0.99
00:40:50.000 So they dress in these costumes that make them look like animated cartoon people. 0.99
00:40:57.000 That are animals, you know, like dog costumes and fox costumes and coyote costumes.
00:41:03.000 They look like mascots or things from like an amusement park.
00:41:05.000 Exactly.
00:41:05.000 Mascots is the perfect way to describe them.
00:41:07.000 They look like mascots.
00:41:08.000 And I guess a lot of them are wearing mascot outfits.
00:41:11.000 That's where they get these things from.
00:41:13.000 And all they do the whole weekend is get together and play like they're animals.
00:41:20.000 They don't talk.
00:41:21.000 They have their own language of grunts and certain things that mean certain noises.
00:41:26.000 They've created a sub-language, a fake language. 0.98
00:41:29.000 And when they were staying at the Westin Hotel in Pittsburgh, they sold out every fucking room in the hotel. 0.97
00:41:35.000 So there's like 600 rooms in Pittsburgh at the Westin. 0.99
00:41:38.000 They're all furries.
00:41:40.000 And they requested a giant litter box in the front lobby.
00:41:45.000 That's so awesome. 1.00
00:41:45.000 They requested that the Weston put in a fucking litter box. 1.00
00:41:49.000 So this is what these people do. 1.00
00:41:50.000 They go and get litter boxes, and they bring them up in their room, and they take shits in their litter boxes. 0.99
00:41:56.000 They don't use the toilet, and they don't wash. 0.99
00:41:59.000 If you don't wash, you stink like an animal.
00:42:02.000 And that's what they're trying to do.
00:42:03.000 They're trying to smell like animals.
00:42:04.000 Not all of them.
00:42:05.000 I mean, some of them.
00:42:05.000 Is it mostly dudes?
00:42:07.000 No, no, no.
00:42:07.000 There's women in it, too.
00:42:08.000 There's varying degrees of depth to how far you go into this thing. 1.00
00:42:11.000 How ugly are the shits? 0.99
00:42:12.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:42:13.000 You can't see.
00:42:13.000 You can't see.
00:42:14.000 They're wearing this fucking crazy outfit. 1.00
00:42:15.000 The whole time? 1.00
00:42:16.000 Yeah, you don't know what their bodies look like, man.
00:42:18.000 They don't talk, so you don't know.
00:42:20.000 You just know she's wearing a girl's outfit, so you assume it's a girl. 0.96
00:42:23.000 And they have sex with their outfits on. 1.00
00:42:25.000 And they have the opening in their crotch. 1.00
00:42:27.000 They undo it, a Velcro or a zipper or whatever the fuck they do. 1.00
00:42:30.000 Whip their shit out and just bang each other right there with their outfits on. 1.00
00:42:34.000 They fuck all the time. 1.00
00:42:35.000 They fuck crazy. 1.00
00:42:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:42:36.000 My girlfriend's actually, before I even heard about this, my girlfriend's been actually recently trying to get me to go to a furry party, and she's like, you know, we won't have to have sex with anybody else, and no one will know who you are, and we can just fuck. 1.00
00:42:48.000 It's like an orgy by a bunch of furries. 1.00
00:42:49.000 Your girlfriend wants you to bang her in front of a bunch of other freaks that aren't showering, and they're shitting in litter boxes, and they're wearing... 1.00
00:42:56.000 And she's just for the experience. 1.00
00:42:58.000 And part of me almost would do it because no one would know who you are, you know, and stuff like that.
00:43:03.000 And you see all these other... 0.98
00:43:04.000 But I think just seeing a bunch of people fucking in costumes like that would be worth it. 0.99
00:43:10.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:43:10.000 They stink so bad. 1.00
00:43:11.000 Some of them wear diapers too.
00:43:12.000 That's the other guy at the counter at the hotel was saying that it's a real horror show.
00:43:17.000 Excuse me, a real horror show for the maids. 1.00
00:43:20.000 The poor maids go in there after these freaks have left. 1.00
00:43:22.000 Oh, God.
00:43:23.000 These litter boxes and bowls of milk everywhere.
00:43:26.000 They order bowls of milk from the hotel and they have them bring it up in a giant bowl and they drink it out of a bowl like a dog.
00:43:33.000 I'd be a bunny.
00:43:35.000 Yeah, I would be a bunny.
00:43:36.000 You're into rabbits all of a sudden.
00:43:37.000 No, I'd be a cat.
00:43:38.000 Eddie looks into my backyard and he sees this rabbit running around.
00:43:41.000 And he's like, oh my god, look, it's a bunny.
00:43:45.000 You got a bunny.
00:43:46.000 And he runs and chases it.
00:43:47.000 And you're like, oh, he's so sweet.
00:43:49.000 I love bunnies, bro.
00:43:50.000 I love them.
00:43:51.000 That's so funny.
00:43:52.000 People would think that that's a joke.
00:43:53.000 No, that's for real, man. 0.98
00:43:56.000 Do you think you could kill a bunny to eat it? 0.99
00:43:58.000 Of course you could. 1.00
00:43:59.000 Fuck no. 1.00
00:43:59.000 If I was starving, maybe. 1.00
00:44:01.000 No, man. 1.00
00:44:02.000 I don't even like those people who say rabbit stew jokes and all that shit. 0.99
00:44:05.000 I don't think that's funny. 0.99
00:44:06.000 Really?
00:44:07.000 You really have that much of an affection for rabbits?
00:44:09.000 Man, that's a little loving creature, man.
00:44:12.000 I mean, we have a relationship going on. 1.00
00:44:14.000 And man, I love that fucking thing, man. 1.00
00:44:17.000 I love rabbits. 1.00
00:44:18.000 They look so cute. 0.98
00:44:19.000 They're so fucking beautiful. 0.97
00:44:21.000 And you know what? 0.99
00:44:22.000 They don't meow.
00:44:24.000 They don't bark.
00:44:25.000 They don't make any noise.
00:44:26.000 And they love massages, man.
00:44:29.000 Who doesn't love massages?
00:44:32.000 But cats love massages, and they ask for it.
00:44:36.000 They're more flamboyant in the way they ask for it.
00:44:38.000 I have two cats.
00:44:41.000 I pet them for 30 seconds to a minute.
00:44:42.000 They're gone.
00:44:43.000 They don't want to massage no more.
00:44:44.000 Not the bunny.
00:44:46.000 He's willing to go all night.
00:44:47.000 I could pet him.
00:44:48.000 He ain't going nowhere.
00:44:49.000 You know my cat, Spaz.
00:44:51.000 You could pet that cat for 100 days in a row.
00:44:54.000 Oh, really?
00:44:54.000 Not my cat.
00:44:55.000 I pet him for 30 It's on how they're raised.
00:44:58.000 If they're raised with people all the time, like my cat's been with me since she was a kitten.
00:45:02.000 So from the time she was little, it's all like, meow meow, what's up meow meow?
00:45:06.000 And pets, and every day it's affection.
00:45:08.000 So she associates people with affection. 0.99
00:45:10.000 But if you're around a cat and you just go to work all day and you barely pay attention to that fucking cat, then the cat's like, yeah, you can pet me. 0.99
00:45:16.000 Eh, I'm done with you. 1.00
00:45:17.000 I got other shit to do. 0.99
00:45:19.000 It's all how the cat grows up. 0.99
00:45:21.000 Bunnies are so cute that even their poop is cute.
00:45:23.000 But the problem is that...
00:45:25.000 It doesn't stink.
00:45:26.000 You know, that was on Fear Factor.
00:45:27.000 We were trying to get people to eat bunny poop.
00:45:28.000 That was one of the things rejected by the network. 1.00
00:45:30.000 That's bullshit. 1.00
00:45:31.000 I would eat it. 1.00
00:45:32.000 They would say drink your own piss, too. 0.84
00:45:34.000 That was another one the network rejected. 1.00
00:45:35.000 Rabbit shit don't stink, for real. 1.00
00:45:37.000 You would eat it? 1.00
00:45:37.000 I would totally eat it. 1.00
00:45:39.000 Nonfat milk. 1.00
00:45:40.000 My ex-girlfriend had a bunny, and the one thing I did notice, the negative part, was that there was bunny shit everywhere. 0.99
00:45:47.000 Like little rabbit turds everywhere. 0.99
00:45:49.000 You pick them up with your hand, they're like raisins.
00:45:50.000 Yeah.
00:45:51.000 Wow.
00:45:52.000 How weird. 1.00
00:45:53.000 I love that motherfucker. 1.00
00:45:54.000 I have a whole room dedicated to him. 1.00
00:45:56.000 You have a room in your house dedicated to your rabbit?
00:45:58.000 It's all him.
00:45:58.000 He's got a whole room.
00:45:59.000 He doesn't even know he's captured.
00:46:00.000 I leave the gate open, because the gate goes around the whole room because we can't let him chew the baseboard.
00:46:05.000 So it's a room, but there's a gate all the way around in the room.
00:46:08.000 And we leave the gate open.
00:46:10.000 He doesn't want to leave. 1.00
00:46:11.000 He hates leaving that motherfucker. 1.00
00:46:12.000 I got a castle for him. 1.00
00:46:14.000 I got a UFO for him.
00:46:15.000 I got his pod.
00:46:16.000 I built tunnels for him.
00:46:18.000 You would make a great dad, dude.
00:46:20.000 You don't even know.
00:46:22.000 The love that you have for this bunny is pretty fun.
00:46:25.000 It's interesting to see. 0.99
00:46:27.000 The love that you would have for a kid would really freak you the fuck out. 0.95
00:46:30.000 Yeah, for sure. 1.00
00:46:31.000 You'd be like, fuck that bunny. 1.00
00:46:32.000 Yeah, you would. 1.00
00:46:34.000 Yeah, you would.
00:46:35.000 Those animals take a quick backseat, dear. 1.00
00:46:37.000 Every woman says that when she has a kid. 1.00
00:46:40.000 You know, I almost had...
00:46:41.000 I thought I had a kid for a few months.
00:46:43.000 You know, and that kid, he's 15 now.
00:46:46.000 And, um...
00:46:48.000 I don't even want to talk about it.
00:46:51.000 Whoa.
00:46:53.000 Just opened up the door and closed it on people.
00:46:55.000 Did you meet him at a bar or, like...
00:46:57.000 I'm just kidding.
00:46:58.000 No.
00:47:00.000 Actually, look, what happened is an ex-girlfriend of mine when I was 26, she got pregnant.
00:47:08.000 I thought her new boyfriend got her pregnant, but there was a kind of gray area when she got pregnant.
00:47:16.000 I was like, hmm, I think maybe it could be mine.
00:47:20.000 She had a baby.
00:47:21.000 Her sister calls me up and says, hey, Moretta had the baby. 1.00
00:47:26.000 You should come down and check it out.
00:47:27.000 This could be yours.
00:47:28.000 I'm like, mine?
00:47:29.000 She goes, it looks kind of Mexican.
00:47:32.000 Her whole family thought it looked Mexican.
00:47:36.000 So I came down and I'm like, oh my god.
00:47:40.000 I have a son.
00:47:41.000 I totally didn't want it.
00:47:43.000 I had broken up with her like, oh, it was around nine, ten months ago, or maybe longer.
00:47:47.000 And I didn't want to have anything to do with her.
00:47:49.000 I mean, we were done.
00:47:50.000 I had a new girlfriend.
00:47:51.000 I was moving on, and now this kid could be mine.
00:47:53.000 I went to the hospital, looked at the kid, and all babies looked the same to me.
00:47:57.000 I'm like, you guys think it looks Mexican?
00:47:59.000 I don't know.
00:47:59.000 They go, yes.
00:48:00.000 Look, look at his face.
00:48:01.000 I'm like, he looks like me?
00:48:03.000 So I go, let's take a DNA test then.
00:48:05.000 But you had to wait three months before you could pull the amount of blood that you need to take the test.
00:48:10.000 So I had to wait three months.
00:48:11.000 So I broke up with the girl that I was with.
00:48:14.000 And I said, this is my son.
00:48:16.000 I want to be around for the first three months.
00:48:18.000 So I'm going to treat him like my son.
00:48:19.000 So for three months, he was my son.
00:48:23.000 And by the third month, when we were almost ready to take the test, I wanted him to be mine so bad.
00:48:28.000 I'm like, man, I got a son.
00:48:30.000 It's three months.
00:48:32.000 Let's do this!
00:48:32.000 Like, I was ready to do it!
00:48:33.000 Let's go!
00:48:34.000 And then it turned out, obviously, that he wasn't mine, and I stuck around for a while, and then me and the girlfriend broke up a couple times, and we would separate and come back and see him, because I was in love with him.
00:48:46.000 But it was like a six-month stretch when I came back.
00:48:49.000 And he was around two after we'd break up.
00:48:52.000 He was around two.
00:48:52.000 And when I got to the house, he looked at me and he didn't recognize me.
00:48:56.000 He wasn't sure.
00:48:57.000 And his mom was like, look, he's the one who took you to the zoo.
00:48:59.000 And we're looking at the zoo pictures.
00:49:00.000 And he's like looking at the zoo pictures and then looking at me.
00:49:02.000 And he's like, maybe like, you know, a year and a half.
00:49:06.000 And that look right there.
00:49:07.000 I'm like, man, I got to bolt now.
00:49:09.000 Yeah, now's the time to do it.
00:49:10.000 He doesn't even know who I am anymore.
00:49:12.000 I love this little kid.
00:49:13.000 And he doesn't even know who I am.
00:49:14.000 I'm gone.
00:49:15.000 This was the guy in the picture?
00:49:17.000 No, he was in jail.
00:49:19.000 Yeah, that guy was in jail.
00:49:20.000 So anyways, long story short, of course I think about him every now and then.
00:49:25.000 I'm like, you know, I was in love with that kid.
00:49:27.000 I would have definitely...
00:49:28.000 He's 15 now?
00:49:29.000 He's 15 now.
00:49:30.000 So teach him jiu-jitsu.
00:49:31.000 I found him on Facebook and I went through all the names that it could be.
00:49:36.000 I went through a bunch of guys and sent them messages.
00:49:37.000 I was like, you know what?
00:49:39.000 I'm going to look for this guy.
00:49:41.000 Wow.
00:49:41.000 So I found him.
00:49:42.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:49:43.000 So I thought, you know, we went back and forth a little bit on Facebook and Did you tell him the story? 0.99
00:49:52.000 No.
00:49:52.000 We never talked about it.
00:49:53.000 Whoa.
00:49:54.000 So he doesn't know?
00:49:54.000 No.
00:49:55.000 His mom's remarried.
00:49:57.000 They got a little happy family going, I don't want to cause any problems or anything like that.
00:50:01.000 I just wanted to touch base.
00:50:03.000 And he lives like five or six hours away, up north.
00:50:08.000 And I... I got a hold of the nearest jiu-jitsu school around where he lives and I said, man, are you interested in taking jiu-jitsu?
00:50:17.000 It's a Paragon.
00:50:18.000 It's a Jeff Glover from Paragon.
00:50:21.000 It's a Paragon affiliate.
00:50:22.000 Got a hold of the guy.
00:50:23.000 I said, you know...
00:50:26.000 I told everyone he's my nephew.
00:50:28.000 I didn't really want to get into details.
00:50:30.000 It doesn't really matter.
00:50:31.000 He's not my nephew, but I thought he was my son for a while.
00:50:33.000 I thought, you know what?
00:50:34.000 I'm going to get him into jujitsu.
00:50:35.000 He's all into it, man.
00:50:36.000 He's obsessed.
00:50:37.000 Oh, wow.
00:50:38.000 That's awesome.
00:50:38.000 Yeah, he's all obsessed with it.
00:50:39.000 He loves it.
00:50:41.000 Wow, what a crazy story.
00:50:42.000 That's really cool, man.
00:50:43.000 Did you ever think what would happen if you decided to just stick around with that little dude?
00:50:46.000 Yeah, man.
00:50:47.000 I do.
00:50:48.000 I do.
00:50:48.000 Because at that point, within those first three months, that was my boy.
00:50:54.000 I treated him like, you know, he was my son.
00:50:59.000 He could be my son, I thought he could be.
00:51:03.000 Deep down, I was thinking, I mean, everyone's saying he looks like me.
00:51:05.000 I don't think he looks like me.
00:51:07.000 Everyone's saying he looks Mexican.
00:51:08.000 It's so funny.
00:51:09.000 He's so white now. 0.71
00:51:10.000 You know, I didn't even know Eddie was Mexican. 0.99
00:51:12.000 I thought he was fucking with me for like the first two years. 0.98
00:51:14.000 Because at the comedy store, you were like, I'm half Mexican. 1.00
00:51:16.000 I'm like, no, you're not.
00:51:17.000 I'm full Mexican.
00:51:18.000 Or you said something like that to me.
00:51:20.000 He used to say he was half...
00:51:21.000 Yeah, you said something else.
00:51:23.000 Half Japanese and half Eskimo was a famous one.
00:51:26.000 Maybe he said half Japanese, half Mexican or something.
00:51:28.000 Yeah, I used to say that when I was a teenager, just... 1.00
00:51:31.000 Because I was an idiot. 0.99
00:51:32.000 And I wanted to see who would believe it. 1.00
00:51:34.000 And I'm like, wow, people believe anything.
00:51:37.000 Dude, you used to do that with a lot of things.
00:51:39.000 You used to tell people crazy stories and see how far you could go with it.
00:51:43.000 Man, it still happens.
00:51:44.000 I mean, the whole...
00:51:45.000 Don't lie!
00:51:46.000 The whole...
00:51:47.000 Why do you get into doing that?
00:51:50.000 Man...
00:51:50.000 Do you have a hard time not doing that?
00:51:52.000 If you look at Quatu, and then you look at what we did on the Joe show, like with the 10-foot screws...
00:51:59.000 The band, yeah.
00:51:59.000 The 10-foot screws.
00:52:00.000 Let me tell people that if you don't know.
00:52:02.000 Let me tell you what we did.
00:52:04.000 We were in Denver, and I was doing stand-up, and Eddie and Tate and Brian and Duncan, we were all hanging out, and we were walking...
00:52:12.000 And we went through this little shopping area.
00:52:15.000 What is it?
00:52:16.000 The 6th Street Mall?
00:52:17.000 Is that what it's called?
00:52:18.000 Whatever the mall is?
00:52:18.000 Whatever street it is?
00:52:20.000 Anyway, we're going to this downtown shopping area and we see a wig store.
00:52:23.000 2005. 2005, wasn't it?
00:52:24.000 And just as a goof, we decided to go in this wig store. 0.99
00:52:28.000 And then, first of all, we were high as fuck. 0.98
00:52:30.000 And somewhere in this wig store, we came up with the idea of having a fake band and that you guys were all going to wear these wigs. 0.99
00:52:39.000 Everyone bought wigs.
00:52:40.000 Tate had this crazy afro wig and you had this crazy wig and everyone decided that we were going to play a band called Ten Foot Screws.
00:52:48.000 And we even announced the band Like, as having an after party in town.
00:52:54.000 So people thought that it was like a real band.
00:52:56.000 And Eddie goes on stage.
00:52:58.000 I get off stage.
00:52:59.000 The show's over. 1.00
00:53:00.000 Eddie goes on stage with his fucking wig on and sunglasses. 1.00
00:53:04.000 We have video of it still, right? 1.00
00:53:06.000 Yeah, there was a whole show.
00:53:07.000 The Joe Show episode.
00:53:08.000 Which episode is it?
00:53:11.000 Seven.
00:53:11.000 Seven?
00:53:12.000 Yeah.
00:53:12.000 How do people find that one?
00:53:13.000 Just type in JoeShow7.
00:53:15.000 Actually, all the episodes were on your website, but since you moved the servers now, everything's kind of weird.
00:53:20.000 We're probably getting too much bandwidth.
00:53:22.000 Well, the premise of it was Joe wanted to put together a reality show based on him going to all these clubs across the nation and his posse.
00:53:32.000 And me, Tate, Brian, Duncan, Ari...
00:53:36.000 Even Larry back then, we were all...
00:53:38.000 Larry's our producer, what do you think?
00:53:39.000 Yeah, we were all in this...
00:53:41.000 He was the producer.
00:53:41.000 That's what Joe's show was.
00:53:42.000 It was an actual reality show.
00:53:44.000 He's the origin of the word powerful.
00:53:45.000 When you hear me say powerful, it's all because there's one dude, our friend Larry.
00:53:49.000 So the show was called The Joe Show.
00:53:51.000 You had it on your website.
00:53:52.000 We did about 11 or 12 episodes or something.
00:53:55.000 And episode seven, we were in Denver.
00:53:57.000 We were trying to come up with a premise...
00:54:00.000 And then it was all about, we just formed a band.
00:54:04.000 So Joe's on stage, and the way we sold it was, Duncan would get on stage and would say, who's going to the 10 Foot Screws show tonight?
00:54:14.000 That's what we're called, 10 Foot Screws.
00:54:16.000 And that was Brian's idea.
00:54:19.000 So Duncan was getting everybody in the audience used to the fact that we got 10-foot screws backstage and they're playing a big show at the Holodome next to the El Pollo Loco.
00:54:32.000 6th Street and El Pollo Loco. 0.98
00:54:33.000 So people were like, oh shit, there's a concert tonight. 0.99
00:54:35.000 I didn't know about this. 0.99
00:54:36.000 10-foot screws, are they big?
00:54:37.000 So then, was Ari there too?
00:54:39.000 Ari wasn't there.
00:54:40.000 So Duncan was selling it.
00:54:42.000 Like he was like the host and he was selling it.
00:54:44.000 We got 10 foot screws tomorrow.
00:54:45.000 We're going to give away some tickets.
00:54:47.000 So I got a stack of half off drinks on Tuesday nights.
00:54:51.000 I got two stacks of them.
00:54:53.000 And Duncan introduced me.
00:54:55.000 I was the lead singer. 0.95
00:54:56.000 I was the total douchebag lead singer. 0.92
00:54:58.000 I was like just basically playing the singer of Oasis. 0.92
00:55:01.000 But backstage.
00:55:02.000 So...
00:55:03.000 I got up on stage and said, who wants these tickets to the show tomorrow backstage?
00:55:08.000 They were going nuts.
00:55:10.000 So like Paul Stanley, I divided the crowd to one side.
00:55:14.000 And I said, just like Paul Stanley, I go, okay, this side.
00:55:17.000 Let me hear the noise.
00:55:18.000 I go, one, two.
00:55:18.000 Let me hear the noise!
00:55:20.000 And then I stopped him.
00:55:21.000 And I go, this side.
00:55:22.000 It was just a total Paul Stanley 1985 ripoff.
00:55:26.000 Most bands do it.
00:55:26.000 Dude, find that.
00:55:28.000 Find that and cue it up.
00:55:29.000 Just that part of it. 0.96
00:55:30.000 Because it was so ridiculous. 0.86
00:55:31.000 When I threw those tickets into the audience... 0.75
00:55:33.000 Dudes were flying headfirst over tables.
00:55:37.000 They were scrambling only to find that they were Tuesday night half-off drinks. 0.99
00:55:41.000 And you're some crazy man wearing a wig for a band that doesn't exist.
00:55:45.000 Yeah, so when the concert let out, people had to walk by backstage. 0.96
00:55:48.000 It was weird.
00:55:49.000 The club was set up weird.
00:55:50.000 They were walking out next to backstage.
00:55:52.000 So we had the door open and dudes were walking by going, where's that band?
00:55:56.000 So we grabbed one dude, and we pulled in maybe three dudes, and we pulled them, closed the door.
00:56:02.000 Now they're backstage with 10-foot screws. 0.87
00:56:04.000 And me and Tate are just total douchebags. 0.93
00:56:07.000 We're total douchebags. 1.00
00:56:09.000 You remember those fucking questions, you guys? 1.00
00:56:11.000 Now that I'm thinking about it. 0.99
00:56:12.000 It was a great shot.
00:56:13.000 The guy who got down on his knees?
00:56:14.000 Yes.
00:56:14.000 You remember that?
00:56:15.000 He was just down to do whatever to hang out with the band. 0.99
00:56:19.000 He thought we were a real band, so we got him to do crazy shit. 0.99
00:56:22.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:56:23.000 He just wanted to hang out with the band, so we're going to have to get on your knees.
00:56:26.000 Okay, you're going to have to pray for us.
00:56:27.000 Pray with us.
00:56:28.000 Like, you know, bands sometimes pray before they go out.
00:56:31.000 Thank you, Jesus.
00:56:32.000 And he would repeat, thank you, Jesus. 1.00
00:56:33.000 And you said, for this dick, I'm about to suck. 1.00
00:56:35.000 And then he jumped up and ran away. 1.00
00:56:38.000 You remember?
00:56:39.000 And then Tate was like six foot four.
00:56:41.000 He was so intimidated the guy didn't want to like fire back.
00:56:44.000 Right.
00:56:45.000 Because Tate's sitting there looking like a monster, you know?
00:56:47.000 He was scared.
00:56:49.000 And then we got girls back there. 1.00
00:56:50.000 He probably thought that you were about to try to get him to suck your dick. 1.00
00:56:54.000 Like he really probably thought that. 1.00
00:56:55.000 I mean, you think about it. 1.00
00:56:56.000 You're some fucking wacko living in Colorado, you know? 1.00
00:56:59.000 Some dude who's willing to go to some green room for some band that he doesn't even know, never heard of before. 1.00
00:57:04.000 Some band that doesn't even exist.
00:57:05.000 He's on his knees praying back and forth with you. 1.00
00:57:07.000 In his head, when you said that for this dick I'm about to suck, he probably thought, oh, I fucked up. 1.00
00:57:12.000 I done fucked up. 1.00
00:57:13.000 I'll do it, but damn, I'm not going to like it. 0.99
00:57:17.000 That was a great episode too. 0.93
00:57:18.000 And then the other good episode was when we were in Boston.
00:57:22.000 Remember in Boston?
00:57:23.000 And Ari and Duncan, they both sold to the audience.
00:57:26.000 They opened up and they said, backstage we're auditioning for the Joe Rogan live story that they're going to film.
00:57:32.000 And we're looking for guys to play Joe Rogan.
00:57:34.000 We want authentic guys from Boston. 0.99
00:57:36.000 So the guys in the audience are thinking, oh shit, they're auditioning to play Joe Rogan? 0.99
00:57:42.000 I think I can do it. 1.00
00:57:43.000 You can do it, honey.
00:57:43.000 You can do it.
00:57:44.000 So people lined up, and we had a fake audition.
00:57:47.000 Like, I'm this badass.
00:57:48.000 You probably shouldn't talk about this, because I think what you did was illegal.
00:57:51.000 Was it?
00:57:52.000 Yeah.
00:57:52.000 I'm pretty sure what you did is totally illegal.
00:57:54.000 I'm sorry.
00:57:54.000 Yeah, we probably...
00:57:55.000 This didn't really happen.
00:57:57.000 We deny this.
00:57:57.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:57:58.000 This is all in another dimension.
00:58:00.000 We deny this.
00:58:01.000 We deny this.
00:58:02.000 In a parallel universe.
00:58:02.000 Eddie Bravo does not seek to get sued at this moment in time.
00:58:05.000 This is all fiction.
00:58:06.000 Duncan was the director.
00:58:08.000 He killed it.
00:58:08.000 Never happened.
00:58:09.000 It never happened.
00:58:10.000 This didn't take place.
00:58:12.000 You can't be saying it.
00:58:13.000 For sure.
00:58:14.000 Did you just fart?
00:58:15.000 I think probably.
00:58:16.000 You just farted.
00:58:16.000 No, I did not.
00:58:17.000 I know, I smell it too.
00:58:18.000 No, I did not.
00:58:19.000 Man, we need some air conditioning up in this mud.
00:58:22.000 Did you fart?
00:58:23.000 You wouldn't do that, would you?
00:58:25.000 That's an Eddie fart.
00:58:26.000 I would never do that.
00:58:27.000 Listen, this is not helping the podcast at all.
00:58:29.000 Not one moment.
00:58:30.000 Show Show 7 is unfoundable.
00:58:32.000 Unfoundable?
00:58:33.000 Well, we have it somewhere, right?
00:58:35.000 Did you Google it somewhere?
00:58:36.000 Yeah, it's not even on Google anymore.
00:58:38.000 The location it was on, it was on your website.
00:58:40.000 But do you have the raw video still?
00:58:41.000 I'm sure I do on backups.
00:58:43.000 Listen, son.
00:58:44.000 You might not have it.
00:58:45.000 You may have lost that.
00:58:46.000 Is there a chance that you've lost that forever?
00:58:49.000 Oh, that's a yes.
00:58:51.000 Brian, how sad are you?
00:58:53.000 I really doubt it.
00:58:55.000 Well, I really doubt it.
00:58:57.000 I've had a hard drive die on me recently.
00:58:59.000 We need to find that, man, because that was a classic.
00:59:03.000 For sure somebody saved it.
00:59:05.000 There's got to be someone out there that saved it.
00:59:06.000 I'm 100% sure I have it, but it's just finding it.
00:59:09.000 Those things don't make me laugh anymore.
00:59:11.000 Those tricking people things, like jackass type things. 0.90
00:59:14.000 I shouldn't say jackass, like punked type things. 0.91
00:59:16.000 They don't make me laugh anymore. 0.86
00:59:18.000 They used to make me laugh. 0.97
00:59:19.000 I used to think, oh, this guy's getting fucked over. 0.98
00:59:22.000 Remember the Jamie Kennedy experiment? 0.99
00:59:24.000 I thought that show was hilarious.
00:59:26.000 Guys Gone Nuts used to make me laugh.
00:59:28.000 But now I don't want to watch that stuff.
00:59:29.000 I don't want to watch people get lied to.
00:59:31.000 I don't know what it is. 1.00
00:59:32.000 I became a pussy. 1.00
00:59:34.000 I became super sensitive. 1.00
00:59:35.000 I don't like watching that.
00:59:37.000 Like, you know, you're taking advantage of somebody for entertainment.
00:59:40.000 It's not entertaining.
00:59:41.000 I like my Pooh Berry Fleshlight joke.
00:59:44.000 That gets me every time somebody does that.
00:59:46.000 Pooh Berry Fleshlight?
00:59:47.000 Yeah, I told you this.
00:59:48.000 I have a fleshlight at my house, and then this guy gave me this thing called Liquid Ass.
00:59:53.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.55
00:59:54.000 Pour it in the Pooh Berry. 1.00
00:59:55.000 You make people smell your fucking Pooh Berry Fleshlight. 1.00
00:59:57.000 I don't make it. 1.00
00:59:58.000 I'm just like, hey, you should try out the new Pooh Berry Fleshlight.
01:00:00.000 It smells like blueberries.
01:00:02.000 Yeah.
01:00:03.000 That's not that funny.
01:00:04.000 It is funny when you see him do it, though.
01:00:06.000 I've seen it.
01:00:06.000 I've seen it on video.
01:00:07.000 You think in real life it's funnier?
01:00:09.000 Just because you get to watch the real sick...
01:00:11.000 I don't know.
01:00:11.000 It makes me giggle.
01:00:14.000 Seeing somebody's face when they're smelling poop just makes me giggle.
01:00:17.000 It used to make me laugh. 1.00
01:00:18.000 That kind of shit used to make me laugh. 1.00
01:00:19.000 It's like farts. 1.00
01:00:19.000 It doesn't make me laugh as much anymore. 1.00
01:00:21.000 The premise has got to be good.
01:00:22.000 If there's a good premise, you can't just...
01:00:23.000 It's got to be deep and good.
01:00:25.000 And it's...
01:00:26.000 The best one recently is Teab, you know, Jason Tebow, his girlfriend Danielle.
01:00:31.000 She never did it, so she opened it up and she smelled it.
01:00:33.000 She's like, oh, it smells like a homeless person's underwear or something like that. 1.00
01:00:36.000 And then I'm like, put your finger in it.
01:00:37.000 And I had just poured a new fresh thing of liquid acid inside of it.
01:00:40.000 So she puts her finger and it gets all over her hand and her whole hand smelled like poop. 1.00
01:00:45.000 You're 12 years old.
01:00:47.000 This guy's 36 years old.
01:00:48.000 Can you believe that?
01:00:49.000 He's a 36-year-old, 12-year-old.
01:00:50.000 I love it.
01:00:50.000 Let me see your ID. I don't blame you.
01:00:52.000 He is.
01:00:52.000 I'm not lying to you.
01:00:54.000 This motherfucker's going to be dressing up like Winnie the Pooh next week, banging his girlfriend in a room full of strangers. 1.00
01:01:00.000 She's going to be dressed up like a little fox. 1.00
01:01:02.000 Now, would you admit, though, that that's going to be interesting to see?
01:01:05.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:06.000 Listen, I would go.
01:01:07.000 No doubt about it. 0.99
01:01:08.000 Especially if, you know, I knew for sure that the crotch and the ass of my thing was zipped up. 0.99
01:01:14.000 Right. 0.99
01:01:14.000 Nobody could get at me. 0.99
01:01:15.000 Right.
01:01:16.000 You know, I would go.
01:01:17.000 I would just think they'd be crazy, though, man. 0.99
01:01:18.000 I think they just do shit to each other, and they just, like, it could get, like, really uncomfortable. 0.99
01:01:23.000 I think some of them are probably pretty normal, but I think whenever you get an opportunity to completely pretend to be somebody else, you get to dress up in some outfit, you don't even talk, everyone agrees to not talk, you get to see how wacky some minds are. 1.00
01:01:36.000 Some people's brains are fucking fried. 0.76
01:01:39.000 And you kind of put yourself at the mercy of being around those people without being able to filter them socially. 1.00
01:01:44.000 If we're all sitting around talking, after five, ten minutes we all kind of figure out where each other's vibe's coming from.
01:01:52.000 We might do something that surprises us, you know, if you find out someone's a little weirder than you thought.
01:01:56.000 But for the most part, you get a kind of vibe.
01:01:59.000 And some people get a vibe immediately.
01:02:00.000 Okay, I don't want to talk to that guy.
01:02:02.000 Well, when that guy's dressed up like Wile E. Coyote, you don't ever get that vibe.
01:02:05.000 Yeah, you're going to have that one Wile E. Coyote guy walking around, creeping everybody out.
01:02:09.000 Yeah!
01:02:10.000 Maybe that's what excites him. 1.00
01:02:11.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
01:02:12.000 I bet a lot of them... 1.00
01:02:13.000 Look, I think that would be a great thing for a serial killer. 0.96
01:02:16.000 A great thing for a serial killer would be go and hang around with a bunch of other people that are dressing up like this fucking weirdo outfit, you know, this weirdo animal thing, and you could wear one of those weirdo animal things and just infiltrate them and then hang out with them in a way that other people are never willing to hang out with you. 0.98
01:02:32.000 The bunny serial killer. 0.97
01:02:35.000 I would assume that most serial killers, if you were around them, you'd be tripped out by them.
01:02:39.000 Most of them, you would get a weird vibe from them.
01:02:41.000 Most of them, right?
01:02:42.000 Wouldn't you assume?
01:02:43.000 I mean, do you think that serial killers would be able to just sneak on by you, or do you think you would get a weird vibe from them?
01:02:48.000 I think I would definitely be able to get a weird vibe from somebody, but of course I have no idea.
01:02:52.000 You have no idea, right?
01:02:53.000 It's all speculation.
01:02:54.000 Especially if you have a lot of friends.
01:02:56.000 The more friends you have and the more people you come in contact with, You can spot those in a second.
01:03:01.000 Like people that look at IDs all the time, you can spot them fake ones.
01:03:04.000 You just see good ones all day, and you see this one's different.
01:03:07.000 This one's different and it's not the same.
01:03:09.000 Yeah, you're right.
01:03:09.000 If you have a bunch of different friends and you run a bunch of people, and if you're honest, that to me I think is the big one.
01:03:15.000 If you're a real honest person and you're honest in the way you communicate with people, you pick up deceptive behavior very quickly because it just seems off.
01:03:25.000 You have your guard down.
01:03:26.000 You're relaxed.
01:03:27.000 You're open.
01:03:28.000 And then you see something that's just not quite real. 1.00
01:03:31.000 There's something about what you're saying that seems like bullshit.
01:03:34.000 I think psychedelics also helps that sense too because you actually see the person's inner soul at certain points in doing psychedelics where you can see their energy in the world. 0.97
01:03:44.000 And ever since you see that, or feel that feeling, I think you kind of have that feeling in the back of your head.
01:03:49.000 Do you ever go to the movies when you're high?
01:03:51.000 Yeah, absolutely.
01:03:51.000 You know how when you can tell that they're acting bad?
01:03:54.000 Yeah.
01:03:55.000 Dude, I saw the Hulk, the Eric Bana Hulk.
01:03:57.000 And Eric Bana's a great actor, don't get me wrong.
01:03:59.000 He's in that movie Chopper. 0.99
01:04:00.000 He's a bad motherfucker in that movie. 0.98
01:04:02.000 But in the Hulk, there were some scenes where, He didn't really have much to do, and it didn't seem like he was the most focused. 0.99
01:04:08.000 There's a few scenes where him and this chick are talking, and I'm listening to the two of them talking, and I'm like, this is so not real.
01:04:16.000 I remember in the movie theater going, this is some of the worst acting ever.
01:04:20.000 This is so fake.
01:04:21.000 It seems like you're not committed to what you're saying.
01:04:24.000 You're not thinking about what you're saying.
01:04:26.000 But it's because of the weed.
01:04:27.000 That weed just lets you tune into it.
01:04:29.000 But it's that way with the conversation, too.
01:04:32.000 You've been high before when you feel like someone's lying to you.
01:04:35.000 And it feels like even more so.
01:04:38.000 It's even more shocking and weird.
01:04:40.000 If you're vulnerable and you're a little high, maybe you had a little touch of paranoia, and then you realize that someone's lying to you. 0.97
01:04:47.000 It just feels fucking gross. 0.97
01:04:51.000 Yes. 0.99
01:04:53.000 Eddie's thinking about bunnies right now.
01:04:55.000 I'm thinking about, I don't know how to break this to you though, but these are fake, bro.
01:05:01.000 Dude, I got it from Amazon.com.
01:05:06.000 It's guaranteed.
01:05:07.000 It's legit.
01:05:07.000 What are the worst conspiracy theories ever?
01:05:10.000 Crystal skull?
01:05:12.000 Or Bigfoot?
01:05:13.000 Oh no, Bigfoot's not a bad one, man.
01:05:14.000 You know, there's an Animal Channel show right now.
01:05:17.000 It's like Finding Bigfoot or something like that on the animal planet?
01:05:20.000 I've seen the commercials.
01:05:22.000 Because of one video.
01:05:23.000 I was in Spokane this past weekend, and as we're landing in the Spokane airport, you're looking at all the forest and the pine trees.
01:05:33.000 And I started thinking about Sasquatch.
01:05:35.000 I'm going to ask the guys at my seminar what they think.
01:05:38.000 So in the beginning of the seminar, I go, by show of hands, who believes in Sasquatch?
01:05:43.000 This is the kind of jiu-jitsu school that Eddie's running. 0.99
01:05:46.000 This is how he starts off his fucking seminar. 0.99
01:05:48.000 I wanted to know this. 1.00
01:05:50.000 Sure. 0.99
01:05:50.000 Nobody raised their hand, so I'm like, shit, none of you guys believe in Sasquatches? 0.99
01:05:55.000 Holy shit. 0.99
01:05:55.000 So I'm thinking right there, okay, if these people live here in Spokane, small city, in the woods, if they don't believe it, then a couple guys start going, well, you know, you never know because of this and because of that. 0.99
01:06:06.000 And I go, wait a minute.
01:06:07.000 So you're saying you kind of believe it.
01:06:09.000 And I go, okay.
01:06:10.000 By showing hands, who thinks that maybe they exist?
01:06:13.000 They all raise their hands.
01:06:14.000 Whoa.
01:06:15.000 They all...
01:06:16.000 I go, really?
01:06:17.000 They just didn't want to raise their hands initially because they didn't want...
01:06:20.000 You know, they were probably ridiculed in school.
01:06:21.000 Well, here's some weird...
01:06:22.000 You believe in Bigfoot?
01:06:23.000 Here's some weird facts.
01:06:24.000 First of all, there's 250 different Native American names for Sasquatch.
01:06:28.000 250 different names for this big, hairy man that lives in the woods.
01:06:32.000 And the primary, the big predominant, you know, group of sightings is in the Pacific Northwest.
01:06:42.000 Do you think if they had the internet back then, it would only be one name, right?
01:06:47.000 You know, it's just 250 people talked about it and they all made up their own name.
01:06:50.000 Well, no, they had a bunch of different languages too.
01:06:52.000 I like soft squash the best.
01:06:54.000 That's the Indian name, right?
01:06:55.000 Sasquatch?
01:06:56.000 I like Henry.
01:06:57.000 The reason why it's interesting is because so many different names exist for it.
01:07:03.000 There's no other mythical creatures in the Native American...
01:07:08.000 I don't think they have a mythology.
01:07:12.000 That has like, maybe different Indians do, and some of them do and some don't, but for the most part, I don't think it's like, you know, the Greeks had all these fake gods and all these different, you know, Griffins and all these different things that they had created.
01:07:23.000 There was obviously a lot of fiction going on.
01:07:25.000 I don't think there's that much fiction in the Native American folklore.
01:07:29.000 So when there's all these different names for this one animal, it makes you go, hmm, maybe there was a thing like that at one point in time. 0.95
01:07:35.000 And then there's so many fucking sightings of these things. 0.93
01:07:38.000 And that makes you go, hmm, maybe. 0.99
01:07:40.000 Well, what the fuck would it be? 0.99
01:07:41.000 How could there be an ape that no one's ever heard of? 0.99
01:07:43.000 Then you find out that it's not an ape that no one's ever heard of.
01:07:46.000 There actually was an eight-foot-tall, erect, giant ape called Gigantopithecus that actually lived in Asia.
01:07:54.000 And lived in Asia as recently as 100,000 years ago.
01:07:56.000 And they think that this thing may have come down the Bering Strait along with Native Americans.
01:08:03.000 When people first came to America, 10,000 years ago, half of North America was under a mile-high sheet of ice.
01:08:10.000 So there was a connection, actually, between us and Russia and Asia.
01:08:15.000 And animals would come across that connection, the Bering Strait.
01:08:18.000 And that's how people supposedly got here.
01:08:20.000 And they think that it's very possible that at one point in time, this now extinct animal that they know exists made that trip as well.
01:08:27.000 This animal, they say it definitely exists.
01:08:30.000 It wasn't just like a really tall person?
01:08:33.000 No, it's called Gigantopithecus.
01:08:34.000 They found this thing because they found an...
01:08:39.000 An extraordinarily large tooth in one of these Chinese markets somewhere.
01:08:44.000 And it was a tooth that they knew was a primate tooth, but it was so large they couldn't believe that it was a human's.
01:08:51.000 And so they tried to figure out what it was. 0.99
01:08:53.000 Early man, what the fuck it was. 0.98
01:08:55.000 And then they found some other bones and then eventually discovered that there was an actual animal called Gigantopithecus. 0.99
01:09:01.000 So what about the argument that you don't find bones or...
01:09:05.000 You don't find bears either, man.
01:09:07.000 Ever.
01:09:07.000 You don't find dead bears.
01:09:09.000 Who eats the bones? 0.97
01:09:10.000 If there's a small population of them, and one of them died, things that die, there's a time-lapse video of Africa, which is obviously much more predatory than the Pacific Northwest. 0.77
01:09:22.000 But in this time-lapse video of Africa, an elephant dies, and these hyenas start tearing this elephant apart.
01:09:29.000 And even some lions actually scavenged a little bit.
01:09:33.000 The thing's gone in three days.
01:09:35.000 In 72 hours, it's gone.
01:09:37.000 There's nothing.
01:09:38.000 Nothing exists. 1.00
01:09:39.000 And it's a fucking elephant! 1.00
01:09:40.000 Who's eating the bones? 1.00
01:09:41.000 Everything.
01:09:42.000 They're all just chewing everything up.
01:09:43.000 They all just take things away.
01:09:45.000 The hyenas smash bones.
01:09:47.000 Hyenas, they have some of the most powerful bites in the animal kingdom.
01:09:51.000 And the reason why is because they're scavengers.
01:09:52.000 They smash bones and bite off chunks of meat from the bones. 1.00
01:09:55.000 Hyenas are just ruthless cunts. 1.00
01:09:58.000 They're the fucking total cunts of the animal kingdom. 1.00
01:10:01.000 They're just mean, vicious, fucking horrible animals that screech and laugh. 1.00
01:10:06.000 And the females are larger than the males. 1.00
01:10:09.000 The reason being is because the males are so evil, they eat their babies all the time.
01:10:13.000 So to keep the males from eating the babies, the females have to be larger than the males. 1.00
01:10:17.000 And the females have a fake dick. 1.00
01:10:19.000 They have a giant faux penis. 1.00
01:10:21.000 And they mount the males and dominate them with this fake dick. 1.00
01:10:26.000 It's a giant, like, arm hanging from between their legs. 1.00
01:10:29.000 It's the creepiest shit you've ever seen. 1.00
01:10:31.000 This giant female, who's bigger than the male, humps the male, and dominates him. 1.00
01:10:36.000 It's a matriarchal society. 1.00
01:10:37.000 I want a fake dick. 1.00
01:10:39.000 You got a real one, though, Brian. 1.00
01:10:41.000 I want two.
01:10:42.000 If you look up Gigantopithecus, though, they have skulls in this thing.
01:10:46.000 That's interesting.
01:10:46.000 I didn't even know about that.
01:10:47.000 I thought it was just like a caveman.
01:10:49.000 Well, you know, they don't have a full skull.
01:10:51.000 But they have enough that they piece together what it would look like.
01:10:54.000 They have bones and various parts of jaws.
01:10:58.000 Why no video?
01:10:59.000 They don't exist anymore.
01:11:01.000 They probably don't exist anymore.
01:11:02.000 But they probably did exist maybe even just a few hundred years ago.
01:11:06.000 And they probably died off.
01:11:07.000 Or there might be a few of them out there.
01:11:09.000 It's really possible. 1.00
01:11:10.000 The thing if you went to Spokane, you know that as you fly over that Pacific Northwest, it really occurs to you how fucking dense that shit is. 0.99
01:11:17.000 There is so much forest up there. 0.99
01:11:19.000 It's hard for you to wrap your head around.
01:11:21.000 It's hard for you to wrap your head around...
01:11:23.000 Over an hour of flying through the air and it's still forest.
01:11:27.000 And that's what it is up there. 0.99
01:11:28.000 I mean, it's some dense, dense shit. 1.00
01:11:31.000 So if you think that they've absolutely done a survey and an account of everything that lives in that forest, you're crazy. 0.99
01:11:38.000 There's no way they have. 0.99
01:11:39.000 They just killed a fucking jaguar, or a panther, rather, in Connecticut. 0.99
01:11:44.000 They thought that there was no panthers on the East Coast for a long time. 1.00
01:11:49.000 The last one, I believe they killed in New Hampshire...
01:11:52.000 In like the 1800s, you know, when the settlers first came to the East Coast, they eradicated most of the mountain lions.
01:11:58.000 But they just killed one in Connecticut, a 140-pounder.
01:12:02.000 And they saw, there was a spotting of one in New York, 20 miles away from that.
01:12:07.000 Could have been the same panther, because they're known to travel like 100 miles in a day sometimes.
01:12:12.000 So it could have been the same panther that went 20 miles away.
01:12:15.000 But they don't know where this thing came from.
01:12:18.000 It could have been a pet.
01:12:19.000 It could have been a pet. 1.00
01:12:20.000 But it also could have been something that was living in the fucking woods. 1.00
01:12:23.000 It's really possible. 0.99
01:12:24.000 They did used to exist.
01:12:25.000 They're so hard to find, man.
01:12:27.000 You know, I saw one when I lived in Colorado, but...
01:12:31.000 It's fairly rare to see one.
01:12:33.000 I've talked to people who lived in Colorado for years and never saw one.
01:12:37.000 But there's plenty of people that have.
01:12:38.000 But they've got a documented population of thousands of mountain lions up there.
01:12:43.000 It's not like they're scarce.
01:12:44.000 They're just kind of crafty.
01:12:46.000 They're crafty animals.
01:12:47.000 And that's way more populated than the Pacific Northwest.
01:12:50.000 If you're living in a place like Spokane or any of those areas where they have those Sasquatch sightings, it's always like Northern California.
01:12:58.000 It's always like the rainforest, man. 0.99
01:13:01.000 There's some fucking sounds that these guys have recorded. 0.98
01:13:04.000 And it could be hoaxes, but people who have studied these sounds, like primatologists have studied these sounds, they said they're primate in nature. 0.99
01:13:12.000 You know, they don't know what the fuck it is, but these guys are camping out in the woods and they hear these screams and these screeches in the night. 0.89
01:13:18.000 Who knows? 0.97
01:13:19.000 The thing that has me curious is that there's an actual animal.
01:13:22.000 And there's pictures of this thing.
01:13:23.000 Look at this.
01:13:24.000 This is Gigantopithecus.
01:13:26.000 I mean, look at it. 1.00
01:13:27.000 It's a goddamn Bigfoot, man. 0.99
01:13:28.000 I mean, the real animal is a Bigfoot. 1.00
01:13:31.000 It's an animal that absolutely existed.
01:13:33.000 That hoax was based off of, probably.
01:13:35.000 It could be.
01:13:36.000 It could be, man.
01:13:37.000 It could very well be a hoax, for sure. 1.00
01:13:40.000 Or, it could be there's a big fucking ape out there. 0.99
01:13:42.000 But the thing is, if it did exist, bro, here's the thing. 1.00
01:13:45.000 If that fucking thing existed, it would be in a cage right next to the gorilla at the zoo and nobody would give a fuck. 0.99
01:13:51.000 It's because it's a mystery that's so intoxicating to people. 1.00
01:13:55.000 We have this weird thing where we want things that are secret.
01:13:59.000 We want things that we don't know yet.
01:14:01.000 Oh, I don't know.
01:14:02.000 Is it real?
01:14:03.000 Is it real? 0.99
01:14:03.000 And we want to uncover these fucking secrets, this deep desire to do that more than to accumulate knowledge. 0.99
01:14:10.000 Like, people have a much, much stronger desire to find secrets like ghosts or something retarded like that. 0.99
01:14:16.000 Like, who the fuck cares? 0.98
01:14:17.000 Ghosts have never killed anybody. 0.99
01:14:19.000 You know, you don't get anything from ghosts.
01:14:21.000 You know, you can't record them on film. 1.00
01:14:23.000 Everybody that sees them, they all sound like they're full of shit. 1.00
01:14:26.000 You know, you really believe in ghosts, man? 1.00
01:14:27.000 You're going to dedicate your time to ghosts?
01:14:29.000 Seriously. 0.99
01:14:29.000 But what I was going to say is, when there's all this shit out there that is real and it's Fascinating. 0.99
01:14:35.000 Some incredible shit they're discovering. 0.99
01:14:37.000 You know, they believe that there may be small black holes traveling through our galaxy and that can pass right through the sun. 0.99
01:14:43.000 They can go through the sun.
01:14:45.000 And we wouldn't even notice it.
01:14:47.000 We would see a little blip.
01:14:48.000 A little blip out there.
01:14:50.000 And they would just pass right through the sun. 0.99
01:14:52.000 They'd know that there's a fucking RV-sized asteroid that just whizzed by our planet just the other day. 0.98
01:14:59.000 Just yesterday, I think it was. 0.99
01:15:00.000 Like, really close.
01:15:01.000 Between us and the moon.
01:15:03.000 Ah! 0.97
01:15:04.000 It went fucking flying by in the same orbit, the same place as satellites are. 0.99
01:15:08.000 That's how close it was. 0.98
01:15:09.000 It's RV-sized.
01:15:11.000 I mean, you know, that's pretty small as far as asteroids go.
01:15:14.000 But if it hit, if it hit a city or something like that...
01:15:17.000 Yeah, but that would have gone through our whatever ship. 1.00
01:15:19.000 Atmosphere?
01:15:20.000 Yeah, atmosphere and burned out.
01:15:21.000 Maybe.
01:15:21.000 Depends on what it's made out of.
01:15:23.000 They don't all burn out.
01:15:24.000 The really scary ones are the ones that are made out of iron.
01:15:27.000 There's some that are made...
01:15:28.000 I mean, comets, when you see the trail of a comet, that's because it's mostly ice.
01:15:32.000 That's water. 0.99
01:15:33.000 There's so much fucking water in comets. 0.99
01:15:36.000 That trail is actually the water vapor coming off this giant fucking hunk of ice. 0.99
01:15:41.000 Those are not nearly as terrifying as the ones that are all iron. 0.97
01:15:45.000 The ones that are all water and all sorts of other shit, as they're getting close, a lot of it's going to go away.
01:15:50.000 But even when it blows up in the atmosphere, even when it erodes in the atmosphere, sometimes it still produces insane damage, man.
01:15:59.000 Like there's an area of the Soviet Union that was hit by a meteor in, I think it was the turn of the century, and it's called Tunguska.
01:16:07.000 That's the area.
01:16:09.000 And there's photos of just flattened miles and miles of trees.
01:16:14.000 I mean, it just is... 1.00
01:16:15.000 Fuck! 1.00
01:16:15.000 Like, it got hit by a nuclear bomb, man. 1.00
01:16:17.000 And there was no actual asteroid.
01:16:20.000 By the time it got to Earth, it had been eaten up by the atmosphere. 0.99
01:16:25.000 Those fucking things are terrifying, man. 1.00
01:16:27.000 I want to know if a ghost kills a ghost, then you die and you're on the same level as the ghost. 1.00
01:16:32.000 Can you then kill that ghost and he goes into another ghost level?
01:16:35.000 You mean if a ghost kills a person and you become a ghost? 1.00
01:16:37.000 Can you kick that ghost's ass for killing you? 1.00
01:16:39.000 Yeah, and then you kill the ghost in the ghost world. 1.00
01:16:41.000 You can't kill ghosts, though.
01:16:43.000 Has a ghost never died in a movie?
01:16:45.000 That's the thing about ghosts that's so scary.
01:16:47.000 You can get rid of them if you have a good priest.
01:16:49.000 A good priest who loves his mother. 1.00
01:16:51.000 But if you don't have that, the fuck, man? 1.00
01:16:54.000 You can't kill them. 1.00
01:16:55.000 You have to be able to kill a ghost in a ghost level because then there has to be a third ghost thing. 1.00
01:16:59.000 Bullets go right through them, dude. 0.99
01:17:01.000 You can't kill them, bro. 1.00
01:17:02.000 That ghost level would be really crowded then. 0.95
01:17:04.000 The thing about ghosts is that they have to trick you when they're dying. 0.99
01:17:07.000 You have to get scared and fall down flights of stairs and shit. 0.99
01:17:10.000 You have to get scared and back up into an open elevator shaft. 1.00
01:17:12.000 That's how ghosts kill you. 0.98
01:17:13.000 They can't really do shit. 1.00
01:17:15.000 They're just bluffers. 0.99
01:17:16.000 You know what's funny?
01:17:17.000 Ghost Hunters is a real TV show.
01:17:20.000 One?
01:17:21.000 One?
01:17:21.000 There's like a bunch of them, man.
01:17:23.000 Is there more than one?
01:17:23.000 Dude, there's a ton of ghost shows.
01:17:25.000 There's a ton of ghost shows.
01:17:26.000 And they're all exactly the same. 1.00
01:17:28.000 It's all three stupid white people. 1.00
01:17:29.000 And occasionally there's a black guy with glasses. 1.00
01:17:31.000 And they're in a basement.
01:17:32.000 And they have night vision on.
01:17:34.000 And then they go, did you hear that?
01:17:36.000 And then they cut the commercial.
01:17:38.000 And then they play music.
01:17:39.000 They're like, why are you playing music? 1.00
01:17:40.000 Cut the fucking music out! 1.00
01:17:42.000 And then they edit... 1.00
01:17:44.000 There's nothing to see here.
01:17:46.000 That's the thing about a ghost.
01:17:47.000 There's nothing to see here. 0.99
01:17:49.000 You can fucking look all day. 0.97
01:17:50.000 The most you have is some weird image, a whispery image. 0.98
01:17:55.000 And again, it's only interesting because it's unknown.
01:17:58.000 It's only interesting because people think a ghost might be real.
01:18:02.000 It's a secret thing.
01:18:03.000 It might be real.
01:18:04.000 How crazy is it?
01:18:05.000 I mean, it all depends on what you define as a ghost, something that isn't in this plane or whatever. 0.99
01:18:12.000 But when you talk science, the smartest motherfuckers that have ever lived were the Nazi scientists. 0.98
01:18:18.000 They invented missiles. 0.99
01:18:20.000 They were so far ahead of everyone else in science and technology.
01:18:25.000 Those are good.
01:18:26.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:18:27.000 Like, when they went down, Russians raced in and took half their scientists. 0.99
01:18:31.000 Americans took the other scientists.
01:18:33.000 Yeah, a lot of people don't even know that our space program is based entirely on Nazi science. 1.00
01:18:36.000 They were the smartest motherfuckers. 0.99
01:18:38.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:18:38.000 And they were down... 1.00
01:18:41.000 I mean, according to Ancient Aliens, I don't know if...
01:18:45.000 According to Ancient Aliens...
01:18:47.000 That is maybe the worst reference you could ever say. 0.99
01:18:50.000 It's like, according to Wikipedia, you are a fucking Skull and Bones member. 0.96
01:18:55.000 Aren't you going to have that dude in the show? 0.97
01:18:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:56.000 I'm very excited about it.
01:18:57.000 Be nice to him.
01:18:58.000 No, I am being nice.
01:18:58.000 He's a nice guy.
01:18:59.000 I like the guy.
01:19:00.000 He just said it's the worst.
01:19:01.000 Because it's a show.
01:19:03.000 It's an entertainment show.
01:19:04.000 I mean, he talks about Atlantis maybe being a spaceship that flew off in the sky.
01:19:07.000 Of course it was.
01:19:08.000 Maybe it's a rabbit and it ate a giant magical carrot and that created the end of the Atlantean Empire.
01:19:12.000 Did you see the episode about the Nazis, though?
01:19:13.000 Yes, I did.
01:19:14.000 It was fascinating.
01:19:14.000 It was fascinating, the actual facts of what the Nazis were into.
01:19:18.000 And a lot of what they were into is like ancient Hindu scriptures, like the Vimanas.
01:19:22.000 They studied all these, you know, Vimanas were like these flying things in ancient Hindu scriptures that, from thousands and thousands of years ago, these flying ships that people have always tried to interpret.
01:19:32.000 Like, what the fuck did they mean by this?
01:19:34.000 You know, and the Nazi scientists were fascinated by all that stuff. 0.98
01:19:38.000 They were very much into the occult and very much into, you know, the idea of ancient knowledge.
01:19:43.000 You could throw that aside and say they were silly if it wasn't for the incredible technological capabilities that they had back then. 0.67
01:19:51.000 BMW, they made engines for Nazis, man.
01:19:55.000 I mean, Volkswagen, that's the car for the people.
01:19:57.000 You know, there was so much.
01:19:59.000 They made incredible rockets.
01:20:00.000 Their rocketry was so far ahead of anything in the rest of the world.
01:20:04.000 They were the innovators when it comes to the field of rocketry and space travel.
01:20:09.000 How about Wernher von Braun?
01:20:11.000 Wernher von Braun and Herman Oberth are both quoted as saying all that technology came from help from beams from another solar system.
01:20:21.000 They were channeling information.
01:20:24.000 Yeah.
01:20:24.000 To build UFOs.
01:20:25.000 They built four different models of UFOs.
01:20:27.000 And they're saying they were getting the information, anti-gravity information, by the Viril Society, which Hitler was a part of. 0.77
01:20:35.000 And they were running the Nazis, the Viril Society. 0.83
01:20:38.000 And it was all based on channeling from another solar system.
01:20:42.000 This chick, I forget her name, Maria Ostich, was the head... 1.00
01:20:47.000 Medium.
01:20:48.000 And she was channeling ancient Sumerian texts.
01:20:51.000 And then they bring in a dude who can transcribe it.
01:20:53.000 She had no idea what she was writing.
01:20:55.000 It was an ancient Sumerian text.
01:20:56.000 And there's instructions on how to build UFOs.
01:20:58.000 They built four of them.
01:21:01.000 It's on record.
01:21:02.000 Hanabu 1, Hanabu 2, Hanabu 3. They built UFOs. 0.79
01:21:06.000 And they're saying...
01:21:07.000 You mean they built spaceships.
01:21:08.000 They built UFOs.
01:21:10.000 Well, UFOs are unidentified.
01:21:11.000 Yeah, well, they built anti-gravity.
01:21:14.000 So a lot of the sightings in the 40s and 50s and probably even to today are all based, or not all, but I'm sure a lot of them were German UFOs.
01:21:23.000 Right, but when they say that they built something that's anti-gravity, that can't really be proven because we can't do anti-gravity today.
01:21:31.000 So because we can't do anti-gravity, we don't have a working model that they actually had that we could fly around in.
01:21:37.000 A lot of that is speculation.
01:21:38.000 But we do know that they were coming up with some weird-shaped aircrafts.
01:21:42.000 I mean, some photos of them with these saucer-looking Nazi ships.
01:21:47.000 Like, actual, undisputable photos.
01:21:49.000 But they didn't fly.
01:21:50.000 Who knows?
01:21:50.000 I could make a spaceship.
01:21:51.000 Well, who knows if they flew or not?
01:21:53.000 I don't know.
01:21:53.000 Do you know that they didn't fly?
01:21:54.000 No, but I'm not saying they did fly.
01:21:56.000 I mean, back then, I really doubt...
01:21:58.000 They had four models.
01:21:58.000 They had four models.
01:21:59.000 Well, they had planes, man. 0.99
01:22:00.000 I mean, they could make one of those fucking things fly. 0.99
01:22:03.000 Which is just a jet engine. 0.99
01:22:05.000 Right.
01:22:05.000 You know, I don't know if it would...
01:22:07.000 Obviously, it wouldn't be any good. 0.97
01:22:10.000 I mean, it might suck.
01:22:11.000 Maybe that's why they stopped using it.
01:22:12.000 There's a funny picture online of Adolf Hitler with an alien.
01:22:16.000 I think he's just misunderstood.
01:22:17.000 Adolf Hitler. 1.00
01:22:18.000 Dude, don't even say shit like that on my podcast, bitch. 1.00
01:22:21.000 Just kidding. 1.00
01:22:21.000 Just kidding. 1.00
01:22:21.000 Didn't you pay attention to see what happened to fucking Tracy Morgan? 1.00
01:22:24.000 Talking about Charlie Chaplin. 0.99
01:22:26.000 There's all these weird photos of these things that the Nazis built, man. 0.89
01:22:30.000 I don't know how many of these photos are hoaxes and how many of them are legit, but it's pretty fascinating, man.
01:22:36.000 To me, the most fascinating part is that they were...
01:22:40.000 Using mediums to channel aliens from another source.
01:22:43.000 But how do we know that that's true?
01:22:45.000 Is that an ancient aliens thing?
01:22:46.000 It was probably the U.S. government.
01:22:49.000 What are you doing?
01:22:51.000 What am I looking for?
01:22:53.000 The Vril Society. 1.00
01:22:54.000 V-R-I-L. Yeah, it makes me wonder if maybe they were just really dumb. 1.00
01:22:59.000 Yeah, it's like, yeah, we're talking to aliens, but they were really talking to our government, and we're like, oh yeah, yeah, we're from outer space. 0.99
01:23:04.000 Well, you know, you can poo-poo all you want the idea of secret societies, but the bottom line is almost every single fucking president... 0.98
01:23:12.000 It's been a part of one of those fucking things in high school or in college. 0.99
01:23:15.000 That skull and bones shit is so disturbing that these people get together in college and decide to run shit based on this bond that they make when they're in college. 0.99
01:23:24.000 But it completely makes sense. 1.00
01:23:26.000 If you pay attention to how people operate, man, especially if you could...
01:23:30.000 I mean, the best way to keep something secret, really keep something secret, is to have a bunch of people who belong to some exclusive group and they won't rat anything out.
01:23:39.000 It's like a group of buddies who will talk about man law. 0.94
01:23:43.000 You don't say shit about nothing. 0.97
01:23:45.000 What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 0.98
01:23:47.000 This is that on a huge level.
01:23:50.000 Skull and Bones is basically what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas on the biggest level possible.
01:23:55.000 Raping the world, causing wars, doing all this crazy shit and doing it under this premise of we're all a part of this group that agrees to be running the world in secret.
01:24:04.000 What happens in Iraq stays in Iraq. 0.95
01:24:06.000 And they're asking each other to join this thing. 0.99
01:24:10.000 And so to join it, they make them do some really embarrassing shit. 1.00
01:24:13.000 You hear different stories from suck cocks to let guys piss in their mouth. 1.00
01:24:18.000 All sorts of weird shit. 1.00
01:24:19.000 And they get it all on film. 0.99
01:24:20.000 And this is how you become a member in this group.
01:24:23.000 Everyone has to do these things.
01:24:25.000 Dress up like a diaper. 1.00
01:24:26.000 Let dude shit in your hair. 1.00
01:24:27.000 Just the most fucked up thing possible. 1.00
01:24:30.000 And they film it so that they always have you. 1.00
01:24:32.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:24:32.000 But who the fuck knows? 0.99
01:24:34.000 That sounds like some shit that you're saying in your mom's basement and there's like wood paneling on the wall and you're doing bong rips. 1.00
01:24:40.000 You're like, dude, and then they totally make you eat shit. 1.00
01:24:42.000 Really? 1.00
01:24:43.000 Yeah, man.
01:24:43.000 That's what my cousin said.
01:24:44.000 My cousin said that was real.
01:24:47.000 Eddie, did you like Super 8?
01:24:49.000 It was alright.
01:24:50.000 It was alright, yeah.
01:24:51.000 That's how I felt too.
01:24:52.000 People got mad at me.
01:24:53.000 We talked about it last week.
01:24:54.000 I gave some spoilers away.
01:24:55.000 I would see it.
01:24:56.000 I'd see it again.
01:24:57.000 I mean, if I didn't know any better, if I didn't know the plot, I would go see it.
01:25:00.000 It was a fun ride.
01:25:02.000 The fat kid is a great actor.
01:25:03.000 All those kids are pretty amazing.
01:25:05.000 Yeah, they were good, man.
01:25:06.000 The Elliot 2 was good. 0.98
01:25:07.000 They're probably going to be spectacular fuck-ups later in their life. 0.99
01:25:10.000 Bank on them. 0.99
01:25:11.000 They're probably going to be amazing.
01:25:12.000 They're probably going to be Macaulay Culkin-esque.
01:25:15.000 They're all going to be on Dr. Drew's show.
01:25:18.000 If you watch the new episodes, Joey Diaz swears it's the best.
01:25:21.000 Oh, Celebrity Rehab's already out?
01:25:23.000 I noticed, I don't know, I looked at my DVR the other day, there was a couple of them, so I was like, oh Jesus, here we go again.
01:25:28.000 I love that show, it's my favorite.
01:25:30.000 Lindsay Lohan's dad's on it, and Amy Fisher.
01:25:33.000 Is he really?
01:25:33.000 Yeah.
01:25:34.000 Amy Fisher, the chick who got famous by shooting someone, she's on it. 1.00
01:25:38.000 Like, she's a celebrity. 1.00
01:25:39.000 She shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the fucking face, and that made her a celebrity. 1.00
01:25:43.000 That's hilarious. 1.00
01:25:44.000 What kind of a weird world are we living in, man? 1.00
01:25:46.000 Where every fucking show is real housewives and teen moms and mob wives and what the fuck are we doing, man? 1.00
01:25:54.000 We want to see real shit. 1.00
01:25:55.000 That's not even real shit. 1.00
01:25:56.000 We want to see drama. 1.00
01:25:57.000 The rise of the UFC and all reality shows, that's like real shit. 0.98
01:26:00.000 We don't want to see fighting movies. 0.98
01:26:02.000 Put out a fighting movie now. 0.99
01:26:03.000 But most of those reality shows are bullshit. 1.00
01:26:05.000 You know that as much as anybody. 1.00
01:26:06.000 Yeah, but we think it's real.
01:26:07.000 Most people think it's real.
01:26:08.000 You know what I think it is?
01:26:09.000 I think our lives are becoming more and more complex and people are more and more stressful and they have more and more real problems and they want to be distracted with a problem that they can focus on that they have absolutely no stake in. 0.99
01:26:21.000 So they could watch people with their drama and get mad at each other and crazy and screaming and this girl's fucking his wife and he's going fucking crazy and they're going bankrupt. 0.94
01:26:30.000 But meanwhile, you personally have zero stake in it. 0.99
01:26:32.000 So you can sit there and watch it and get totally caught up in it and your life doesn't fall apart.
01:26:38.000 It's like cathartic.
01:26:40.000 Makes sense.
01:26:40.000 Totally makes sense, right?
01:26:42.000 Yep.
01:26:42.000 That's what I think is going down.
01:26:43.000 If you want real proof that there's an apocalypse coming down, it's what the fuck is on TV. That's the real proof. 0.99
01:26:49.000 The real proof is mob wives. 1.00
01:26:51.000 The real proof is Real Housewives of New Jersey. 1.00
01:26:53.000 You watch these morons living their retarded life. 1.00
01:26:58.000 Non-introspective. 1.00
01:26:59.000 No common sense.
01:27:01.000 Not thinking.
01:27:03.000 Egotistical.
01:27:03.000 Under the microscope and can't handle it.
01:27:06.000 The spotlight's on them. 1.00
01:27:08.000 They don't know what the fuck to do. 1.00
01:27:08.000 They're acting crazy. 1.00
01:27:10.000 You hear their nonsense talking. 1.00
01:27:12.000 That's the sign. 0.90
01:27:13.000 That's the sign it's all going down.
01:27:15.000 That's the sign, Eddie Bravo.
01:27:16.000 You know what we should do, Joe?
01:27:17.000 We should try to get tickets to the Comic-Con that's coming up. 1.00
01:27:20.000 Fuck yeah! 0.99
01:27:21.000 I would love to. 1.00
01:27:21.000 Go down there and start some shows. 1.00
01:27:23.000 We should speak.
01:27:24.000 We should speak at Comic-Con about podcasts.
01:27:26.000 Totally.
01:27:26.000 Like we're experts.
01:27:27.000 We should speak.
01:27:28.000 Somebody asked me to speak at the Zeitgeist Movement.
01:27:30.000 There's a Zeitgeist thing, September 11th, 2011. You want to go?
01:27:35.000 Where is it at?
01:27:36.000 I don't know.
01:27:37.000 It's in L.A. There's a series of them.
01:27:39.000 Zeitgeist Media Event.
01:27:40.000 They asked me to speak in it.
01:27:41.000 Which I'm down, but the problem is, man, with all of these things, whenever you claim that you fucking got the answers, alright, whether it's Zeitgeist or whether it's Scientology or whether it's I don't want to equate Zeitgeist with Scientology, but it's too late.
01:27:56.000 I already did.
01:27:57.000 They don't have the answers, man.
01:27:59.000 And everybody's saying...
01:28:00.000 There's a website called Zeitgeist Debunked. 0.99
01:28:06.000 And there's a lot of shit that they got wrong, man. 0.99
01:28:09.000 Just straight wrong. 1.00
01:28:10.000 Of course.
01:28:11.000 Even when it comes to the way they were backing up the...
01:28:16.000 The history of religion.
01:28:19.000 They got all these things wrong with Mithra, and it's been corrected on all these different websites, all the things that they got incorrect about.
01:28:26.000 But they're so confident in these points of view that they can put these points of view out on...
01:28:31.000 Is that guy anti-God?
01:28:32.000 No, no, no, no, not at all.
01:28:33.000 No, Zeitgeist is pretty interesting.
01:28:35.000 There's a lot of Zeitgeist that I believe in.
01:28:36.000 It's 9-1-1, right?
01:28:38.000 A lot of it's 9-1-1 in there.
01:28:39.000 And also I have a problem with it.
01:28:41.000 There's things when they talk about the towers and how the towers fell.
01:28:44.000 I just farted this time.
01:28:45.000 This time was me.
01:28:46.000 That was me.
01:28:47.000 If you smell this fart.
01:28:49.000 Don't run away, Brian.
01:28:50.000 Don't be scared.
01:28:51.000 Anyway, you're using this as an excuse to get up.
01:28:55.000 Did you fart?
01:28:56.000 No, I did.
01:28:57.000 I actually just had to go to the bathroom.
01:28:58.000 It wasn't even bad.
01:28:59.000 But since somebody didn't own up for the last one, I felt like I should own up for this one.
01:29:04.000 I didn't fart, man.
01:29:05.000 Okay, man.
01:29:05.000 Maybe it was Brian.
01:29:06.000 My cat's in here somewhere. 1.00
01:29:08.000 And by the way, she took a nasty shit in that litter box in the bathroom. 1.00
01:29:11.000 It might be that, just wafting out here. 1.00
01:29:13.000 When you guys shit, what percentage is explosive and what percentage is solid loaves? 0.99
01:29:18.000 Well, I've been eating a lot of lettuce lately, and I've also been drinking this new thing, this vegetable drink. 1.00
01:29:24.000 It's amazing, man.
01:29:25.000 I got this Vitamix. 0.97
01:29:26.000 You know, Kevin James lost 80 fucking pounds, right? 0.98
01:29:29.000 Kevin James looked great, dude. 0.99
01:29:30.000 His face is skinny.
01:29:32.000 He looks so healthy.
01:29:33.000 He looks vibrant.
01:29:34.000 It's crazy.
01:29:34.000 He doesn't look chubby at all?
01:29:36.000 Well, he's still got a gut. 0.99
01:29:38.000 Dude, he was 300 fucking pounds. 0.98
01:29:40.000 He's got extra skin, but he's in way better shape than almost since I met him. 0.98
01:29:45.000 I met him in 91, maybe, somewhere around then.
01:29:49.000 And this is about as healthy as I've ever seen as far as like his diet and what he's doing.
01:29:54.000 And he got this Vitamix thing and he swears by it, man.
01:29:57.000 He's like, he told me about this book.
01:29:59.000 Some woman wrote this book on, you know, how you're supposed to eat vegetables and that the problem is, you know, your body spends so much time digesting food and breaking food down that it causes a lot, uses up a lot of energy. 0.99
01:30:09.000 So she has this, she tells you to take this blender and you blend all your vegetables together. 0.85
01:30:15.000 So I blend like kale and And I blend cucumbers, and I blend like a pear, and some ginger, and some celery, a bunch of shit together into this drink that looks like the Hulk's loads. 0.88
01:30:28.000 That's what it looks like. 0.98
01:30:29.000 Just this green, crazy drink. 1.00
01:30:31.000 And I drink this shit, and first of all, my shit flows out of me like a river. 1.00
01:30:37.000 No, nicely. 1.00
01:30:38.000 Just nicely.
01:30:38.000 Just slides out.
01:30:40.000 Like if you were logging on a river, and it was a nice, strong current to the river, and you unloaded a whole truckload of logs into this river to take them downhill, and then you just went, ah, just travel downhill. 0.99
01:30:53.000 That's what it's like when I take a shit. 0.99
01:30:55.000 My logs just travel downhill. 1.00
01:30:57.000 Ah, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop.
01:30:59.000 She comes out nice and sweet.
01:31:00.000 So you don't ever have explosive?
01:31:01.000 No, no.
01:31:03.000 That's probably Mexican food.
01:31:04.000 5%.
01:31:05.000 You know what that is, Eddie?
01:31:06.000 100% what that is?
01:31:07.000 It's food allergy.
01:31:09.000 You should get tested with food allergies.
01:31:11.000 They'll test everything and give you a percentage up and down how allergic you are of everything.
01:31:15.000 Really? 1.00
01:31:15.000 Explosive shit? 1.00
01:31:16.000 It's food allergy? 1.00
01:31:16.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
01:31:17.000 You'll be surprised.
01:31:18.000 After you eat, your body...
01:31:19.000 Because it's after I eat.
01:31:20.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:31:20.000 It's probably most likely bread.
01:31:22.000 I bet you have a food allergy to bread.
01:31:25.000 And it might not be like you can't eat bread, but it could definitely be...
01:31:28.000 Talk into the microphone more?
01:31:29.000 Amazing.
01:31:30.000 I think a lot of people have an analogy to gluten.
01:31:33.000 Jeff's wife has an analogy.
01:31:34.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it probably is, man.
01:31:36.000 Yeah, it's a real common one.
01:31:37.000 Apparently, it's not that good for your body to be eating bread.
01:31:40.000 Apparently, bread, even though it fills you up, you know, bread is great for poor people.
01:31:44.000 You know, you take your wheat and you make your bread and it fills your belly and it gives you carbohydrates.
01:31:47.000 Apparently, your body doesn't like breaking it down, especially processed white flour.
01:31:51.000 Apparently, that's just glue.
01:31:52.000 It's just like funky glue.
01:31:54.000 You're supposed to eat Ezekiel bread.
01:31:56.000 Ezekiel bread is really good for you. 1.00
01:31:58.000 I love that shit. 1.00
01:31:58.000 I have Ezekiel bread with peanut butter in it. 1.00
01:32:00.000 I don't even feel like I'm doing anything bad.
01:32:02.000 If I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, I'm like, how much sugar is in this, man?
01:32:06.000 This is all sugar.
01:32:08.000 But if I have some...
01:32:10.000 Ezekiel bread with some natural peanut butter.
01:32:12.000 I don't feel bad at all. 0.98
01:32:13.000 It's fucking terrific for you. 0.97
01:32:13.000 Nice to eat that bread all the time. 0.97
01:32:14.000 It's great.
01:32:15.000 Can we have a moment of silence for Fogo de Chow?
01:32:17.000 I love that place.
01:32:18.000 A what?
01:32:19.000 A moment of silence? 0.99
01:32:20.000 Why don't you fucking go? 0.99
01:32:21.000 There's one in Los Angeles. 0.99
01:32:22.000 I was going to say, I went there two days ago.
01:32:23.000 Did you?
01:32:24.000 God, guys.
01:32:24.000 We need to do another Death Squad trip there.
01:32:26.000 This is what we're going to do, folks.
01:32:27.000 We're going to take a trip to the Salton Sea.
01:32:29.000 Eddie and I talked about it.
01:32:30.000 As soon as Eddie showed up, I got a book here on the Salton Sea, and I got two documentaries sitting on my desk because being the retard that I am, Whenever a subject comes up on the podcast or that I get set hip to, I get fascinated by it.
01:32:42.000 And the salt and sea is the thing that I've been...
01:32:44.000 I'm so fascinated by it lately.
01:32:46.000 And apparently Eddie says that Sonny Bono was the guy that was trying to save the salt and sea.
01:32:50.000 Trying to bring it back.
01:32:51.000 And apparently it can be brought back.
01:32:52.000 Yeah.
01:32:53.000 It could be fixed.
01:32:53.000 According to the documentary, they...
01:32:55.000 Which documentary is this?
01:32:56.000 Is it any of those?
01:32:57.000 This one, Plagues and Pleasures of the Salt and Sea.
01:33:00.000 Plagues and Pleasures of the Salton Sea.
01:33:01.000 Isn't that a John Waters documentary?
01:33:03.000 I'm not sure, but it's amazing.
01:33:04.000 I think it is.
01:33:04.000 You've got to see that.
01:33:05.000 Plagues and Pleasures on the Salton Sea.
01:33:07.000 Yeah, I just received it.
01:33:09.000 Somebody sent me a video online.
01:33:12.000 They linked it to me on Twitter.
01:33:14.000 I retweeted it.
01:33:15.000 Yeah, go ahead and open it.
01:33:16.000 It was a while back, maybe a couple weeks ago.
01:33:19.000 I watched this video online about this ocean inside...
01:33:22.000 I mean, almost like an ocean, this huge man-made lake inside of California's coast. 1.00
01:33:28.000 And I was like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:33:29.000 This is nuts, man. 1.00
01:33:30.000 And then it talks about how toxic it became because of the runoff from all these different farms and... 0.98
01:33:35.000 That it got saltier and saltier to the point where a lot of the animals and the fish just fucking died and these people still lived there and it flooded out their house.
01:33:41.000 And the city got flooded, yeah. 0.65
01:33:42.000 It got flooded and that's what fucked everything up. 0.99
01:33:45.000 And when you see it, man, you're like, what the fuck? 0.99
01:33:47.000 It looks like some crazy, it looks like some Mad Max shit like we were talking about. 1.00
01:33:51.000 It looks like Armageddon. 0.98
01:33:54.000 Yeah, so we're going to do a Death Squad photo shoot from out there.
01:33:57.000 That's what we do.
01:33:58.000 People live there.
01:33:59.000 Yeah.
01:33:59.000 There's 400 people that live there.
01:34:01.000 That's incredible. 0.99
01:34:02.000 It's cheap as fuck. 0.98
01:34:03.000 You can buy a house or property for like... 0.99
01:34:07.000 Man, it was a three.
01:34:09.000 It was probably $3,000.
01:34:11.000 You can buy a lot.
01:34:12.000 How much time does it take to drive out there?
01:34:14.000 It takes about two hours.
01:34:15.000 We should build a Death Squad studio at the Salton Sea and just do once a month's Salton Sea shows.
01:34:22.000 If I could buy a house for $3,000.
01:34:25.000 It might be 300, but I think it's 3,000. 0.59
01:34:28.000 Some of the people that they show that live there, seriously, they're like crazy homeless people. 0.98
01:34:32.000 Like meth heads. 0.99
01:34:32.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:34:33.000 Well, that's okay.
01:34:34.000 As long as we don't leave any equipment behind.
01:34:36.000 But what if we have a place, we set it up, we get some couches in there and shit, get an internet connection, bring our laptops so we don't really have to have equipment there.
01:34:44.000 You bring our laptops and our mixer, set that shit up, and do a weekly or a monthly show from the Salton Sea. 0.94
01:34:50.000 It's scary. 0.99
01:34:51.000 It is scary.
01:34:53.000 I mean, there was a thriving mini French Riviera right in California, two hours away.
01:35:00.000 I think it's the biggest man-made lake in the country.
01:35:04.000 The biggest body of water in California.
01:35:06.000 It was thriving in the 50s.
01:35:08.000 They were building all these condos and houses.
01:35:10.000 People were moving out there.
01:35:12.000 It was amazing. 1.00
01:35:13.000 They were like, fuck Palm Springs. 1.00
01:35:14.000 You ain't got no goddamn lake. 1.00
01:35:16.000 They were going to the Salton Sea, and then they had a big flood. 1.00
01:35:19.000 Like, the levees broke and all this shit, because it was all man-made. 0.97
01:35:22.000 Flooded everything out. 0.98
01:35:23.000 People freaked out.
01:35:25.000 And there's still people today that are living there that are waiting for it to come back.
01:35:29.000 They were back.
01:35:29.000 They are.
01:35:29.000 They remember the good old days.
01:35:31.000 Wow.
01:35:31.000 And it's dark.
01:35:33.000 It's like...
01:35:34.000 It really is a ghost town.
01:35:38.000 It reminds me of California.
01:35:40.000 I remember Brad Pitt and...
01:35:44.000 David Duchovny, remember the movie California?
01:35:47.000 And they go through ghost towns.
01:35:48.000 It's like this.
01:35:49.000 Oh, dude, you've driven from California to Vegas before.
01:35:53.000 You've done that, right?
01:35:54.000 A million times.
01:35:54.000 Didn't you go with me when we drove and you and me and Dimitri, and we stopped off in one of those little ghost towns where they had like a fake gunfight?
01:36:02.000 Do you remember that shit? 0.99
01:36:03.000 That wasn't me. 1.00
01:36:04.000 It wasn't you?
01:36:05.000 No.
01:36:05.000 It was me and Dimitri then.
01:36:06.000 We were headed to Vegas to see the K-1.
01:36:09.000 We went to K-1 with Dimitri.
01:36:10.000 A couple times.
01:36:11.000 We did a couple of K-1 trips.
01:36:13.000 Well, back then, there was no UFC in Vegas.
01:36:15.000 This is how old school we're going.
01:36:17.000 There was no UFC in Vegas.
01:36:18.000 So Eddie and I would want to go see fights.
01:36:20.000 We'd have to go see K-1 in Vegas.
01:36:22.000 Scott Coker used to promote K-1 in Vegas.
01:36:25.000 And there's hardly no one there.
01:36:27.000 It's a tiny little ballroom.
01:36:28.000 The Bellagio, a ballroom.
01:36:29.000 It's like it was as big as where Tough Enough is.
01:36:32.000 Yes.
01:36:32.000 Just like that.
01:36:33.000 Exactly.
01:36:34.000 People don't know what Tough Enough is.
01:36:35.000 Tough Enough is a local amateur show in Vegas. 0.98
01:36:38.000 And we would go down there and there'd be, you know, a few hundred people and you'd get to see fucking Peter Ertz. 0.97
01:36:43.000 Peter Ertz for Stefan Lecco. 0.95
01:36:45.000 You know, like high level, top of the food chain K1 guys were going at it, man. 0.99
01:36:49.000 There were some great fucking fights. 0.98
01:36:51.000 The K1 in Vegas was awesome. 0.99
01:36:53.000 They should bring that back.
01:36:54.000 I tried to talk to Dana about that. 0.97
01:36:55.000 I tried to say, dude, man, maybe you should fucking get involved in K1. Bring K1 in. 0.99
01:36:59.000 I'm telling you, think about what's the most exciting aspect of the UFC. It's striking, right?
01:37:03.000 You get the best strikers in the world.
01:37:05.000 Look, I love watching Abu Dhabi.
01:37:07.000 I love watching Marcelo Garcia and Pablo Popovich go after it.
01:37:12.000 I love watching Jaco Ray and Haja Gracie go after it in Abu Dhabi because they're the elite of the elite grapplers.
01:37:18.000 I also like watching elite of the elite strikers, you know, in just straight up striking.
01:37:24.000 There's a lot of guys, you don't get to see their full striking skills in the UFC because they're always worried about getting taken down.
01:37:30.000 They're always worried about getting submitted.
01:37:32.000 They're always worrying about You know, dealing with certain things, so it's hard for them to relax and just get into the striking. 0.99
01:37:37.000 But if you watch like that K1 Max, you ever watch that shit, dude? 0.99
01:37:40.000 I'll be honest with you, man. 1.00
01:37:41.000 I try to watch it.
01:37:43.000 It's hard to watch it.
01:37:44.000 Is it really?
01:37:45.000 Yeah, I'm not that into it, man.
01:37:46.000 I try to.
01:37:47.000 Maybe it's because you don't have a striking background, man.
01:37:49.000 Maybe that's what it is. 0.99
01:37:50.000 To me, it's exciting as fuck. 0.99
01:37:51.000 That's all I watch. 0.98
01:37:52.000 When I watch fights, when I have the garage, you know, I have the setup in the garage when I work out, all I watch is K1 Max.
01:37:57.000 That's all I watch.
01:37:57.000 It's hard for me.
01:37:58.000 And Badr Hari fights. 1.00
01:37:59.000 I watch that crazy motherfucker. 1.00
01:38:01.000 Those fights are wild, dude. 1.00
01:38:03.000 All that fucking just straight stand-up, man, when they're leg-kicking the shit out of each other and flying knees. 0.99
01:38:09.000 Dude, you can't watch that? 0.99
01:38:11.000 I want to.
01:38:13.000 I want to like it, but it's boring as hell.
01:38:15.000 Wow, that's so weird.
01:38:16.000 I want to.
01:38:16.000 It's got to be because that's not your background.
01:38:18.000 Look, I like watching pool.
01:38:20.000 I watch professional pool.
01:38:22.000 I got hours of pool on my laptop.
01:38:24.000 I got like maybe 10, 15 hours of pool matches on my laptop at any given time.
01:38:29.000 So if I'm ever in an airport by myself, ooh, I'll watch Mika Eminen play effin' Reyes, and I'll sit there and watch a pool match that I already know the results.
01:38:36.000 You gotta be.
01:38:41.000 Happily.
01:38:42.000 If I'm gonna watch striking, there's gotta be a threat of the fight going to the ground.
01:38:47.000 Really?
01:38:48.000 If I'm gonna watch striking, it's gonna be Chet Congo and Pat Berry.
01:38:51.000 That's what I'm gonna watch.
01:38:52.000 You know what I mean?
01:38:53.000 There's a threat of going down.
01:38:55.000 They were on the floor, they didn't stop it.
01:38:56.000 I mean, that fight could have been stopped two different times easily.
01:39:00.000 Was that not the craziest end of a fight you have ever seen ever?
01:39:03.000 This is the greatest comeback in the history of combat sports.
01:39:06.000 I was watching it with a friend who doesn't train.
01:39:08.000 He was just telling me right before the match, he goes, I hate it when people, when a fighter hurts another fighter and he goes down and then he jumps in his guard and then tries to knock him out.
01:39:17.000 Why doesn't he just let him get up and stand up?
01:39:19.000 I go, well...
01:39:21.000 A lot of times when a guy's hurt, he throws haymakers.
01:39:23.000 And if you catch one of those haymakers while you think you have him hurt, so many fights can just turn at the blink of an eye.
01:39:29.000 You want to get him on the ground.
01:39:31.000 You know, your natural instinct is, I got him hurt.
01:39:33.000 Let me put him in a spot where there's no way he's going to knock me out.
01:39:36.000 Exactly.
01:39:37.000 So people just...
01:39:38.000 That's the natural instinct.
01:39:39.000 I got you hurt. 1.00
01:39:39.000 Let me ground and pound you now. 1.00
01:39:41.000 And I know for sure that there's... 0.94
01:39:43.000 You see even strikers do that all the time, man.
01:39:45.000 Yes, exactly.
01:39:46.000 They get on the inside.
01:39:47.000 Yeah, they'll climb in a guy's guard.
01:39:49.000 We were just talking about that and it happened.
01:39:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:39:51.000 If Pat Berry would have just took him down and pounded him on the ground, that wouldn't have happened.
01:39:55.000 Did you ever see Diego Corrales in Castillo?
01:39:59.000 No.
01:39:59.000 You never saw that fight?
01:40:00.000 It was the boxing equivalent to that.
01:40:02.000 Jose Luis Castillo and Diego Corrales. 0.99
01:40:04.000 Diego Corrales was fucked up. 0.99
01:40:06.000 He was getting dropped and battered. 1.00
01:40:08.000 It looked like the fight was almost stopped.
01:40:10.000 Bang! 1.00
01:40:10.000 He connects and Corrales goes out. 1.00
01:40:12.000 It was just like that.
01:40:13.000 I mean, almost, except there was knockdowns and they counted.
01:40:16.000 The excitement level of this was higher because there was no counting.
01:40:20.000 You know, it was like the fight was almost over at any second.
01:40:22.000 And literally, Dan Mergliana got on top of them, was going to touch them and stop the fight.
01:40:28.000 Like he had his hands over them to stop the fight.
01:40:30.000 But then Chet Congo went for a single and he changed his mind.
01:40:33.000 Like a brilliant decision.
01:40:34.000 A lot of people said, oh, they should have stopped that fight. 0.99
01:40:36.000 The fuck they should have stopped that fight? 0.99
01:40:38.000 Look who won. 1.00
01:40:39.000 He won by knockout.
01:40:40.000 There's no way he should have stopped his fight.
01:40:42.000 He still wanted to fight.
01:40:43.000 He still could fight.
01:40:44.000 He still could win.
01:40:45.000 And he did win.
01:40:46.000 So there's no way they should have stopped that fight early.
01:40:48.000 It was the absolute perfect stoppage.
01:40:51.000 Look, you had to stop the fight once Pat Barry was out because Pat Barry was unconscious.
01:40:56.000 That's why I hate early stoppages, man.
01:40:58.000 I'm like, oh, let them take an extra shot.
01:41:00.000 They understand the danger. 1.00
01:41:02.000 They're in there because they're crazy freaks. 0.82
01:41:04.000 I agree with you, but I don't like seeing a guy getting blasted when he's already hurt because I know what it does to them. 0.95
01:41:10.000 I know the physiological effect.
01:41:12.000 Did you see?
01:41:13.000 Hey, pull this up, man.
01:41:14.000 Pull this up.
01:41:15.000 Roy Jones Jr. can't say spectacular.
01:41:18.000 You're going to listen to this, man.
01:41:20.000 This is traveling all over the internet.
01:41:21.000 This is a really uncomfortable thing.
01:41:23.000 Am I going to hear it on my headphones?
01:41:24.000 Am I going to hear it on my headphones?
01:41:24.000 Yeah, you'll see it.
01:41:25.000 You'll hear it in your headphones.
01:41:26.000 You don't have to see it, because it's just Roy Jones doing commentary, and he can't say the word spectacular. 0.98
01:41:30.000 You know, he just got knocked the fuck out by a Russian guy. 1.00
01:41:33.000 Yeah, a Russian guy battered him in the 12th round. 0.99
01:41:35.000 When white guys start knocking you out, you know it's over. 0.87
01:41:38.000 It's done. 0.91
01:41:41.000 Listen, play it, play it, and this is going to freak you out.
01:41:43.000 Listen to Roy Jones.
01:41:44.000 She's starting to slip.
01:41:45.000 Listen to this.
01:41:48.000 We're hearing this.
01:41:49.000 Roy Jones Jr. And Roy, what is it about Canelo Alvarez that has this region and this country starstruck?
01:41:57.000 Well, it's just like we said.
01:41:58.000 He's different.
01:41:59.000 He's something spectacular.
01:42:03.000 He's different because he has different color hair.
01:42:05.000 He has different skin.
01:42:06.000 Wow.
01:42:06.000 That's crazy.
01:42:07.000 Wow.
01:42:08.000 That's the beginning.
01:42:09.000 If you see it on video, it's even more noticeable.
01:42:11.000 Like, he really was...
01:42:12.000 Yeah, and what's dark about it all, man, is that Roy Jones was the guy who never wanted to get hit.
01:42:18.000 Roy Jones was the guy who never wanted to fight really dangerous fighters because he was always worried about brain damage because he was buddies with Gerald McClellan. 0.64
01:42:25.000 Gerald McClellan was one of the best fucking middleweights and light heavyweights ever. 1.00
01:42:30.000 Gerald McClellan was a fucking animal. 0.99
01:42:32.000 But in his prime, he got in a fight with Nigel Benn and he caught a lot of weight for that fight. 0.99
01:42:38.000 And during the fight, the fight was ugly, and he blasted Nigel Benn in the first round, but Nigel Benn had mad heart, and Nigel Benn hung in there, and was there in the second and third, and they fought like dogs, dude, and they head-butted, and they clashed heads, and at one time, Nigel Benn and him clashed heads after Nigel Benn was jacking him with some punches.
01:42:57.000 They were just going after it, man.
01:43:01.000 Gerald McClellan took a knee.
01:43:02.000 He went down and took a knee and then quit. 0.99
01:43:04.000 And then sat down in his corner and everybody was like, whoa, what the fuck is going on? 0.99
01:43:07.000 And then he just collapsed. 0.99
01:43:08.000 He was obviously done.
01:43:09.000 His brain was starting to bleed and he had Realized that something was terribly wrong, so he tried to stop.
01:43:15.000 He tried to sit down.
01:43:17.000 So much that a guy like him, who's just a furious killer, watched the Gerald MacLellan-Julian Jackson fight.
01:43:23.000 Julian Jackson, rather. 0.77
01:43:24.000 If you want to see some crazy, barbaric, top-of-the-food-chain KO action boxers going at it, because Julian Jackson was one of the hardest punchers ever, and Gerald MacLellan fucked him up, and it's a crazy fight.
01:43:37.000 It's a fun boxing fight to watch.
01:43:39.000 Roy Jones Jr. saw that man and never wanted to be that guy.
01:43:43.000 He was always scared that he would be like Gerald McClellan, man.
01:43:45.000 He was always scared that he would have some serious brain damage and he would get really badly hurt.
01:43:49.000 So he never took any damage, man.
01:43:51.000 He fought so smart and his reflexes were so good. 0.97
01:43:54.000 Up until he fought Antonio Tarver, he never really got fucked up. 0.96
01:43:58.000 And then he beat John Ruiz. 0.94
01:44:00.000 He went all the way up to heavyweight.
01:44:01.000 And who knows what he did to get to heavyweight?
01:44:03.000 Because he was like 200 pounds and shredded.
01:44:05.000 That's not normal.
01:44:06.000 Usually when you do that, you're doing some sort of testosterone or something.
01:44:10.000 You're taking something.
01:44:11.000 And what a lot of people don't realize, especially fighters, they don't know who to turn to.
01:44:16.000 They get their advice from either shitty doctors or they get their advice from bodybuilders that are their friends or something like that. 0.99
01:44:22.000 What people don't understand about hormones is If you jolt your body, you make your body hyper-testosterone levels where they're far above normal, what happens is, afterwards, your shit crashes. 0.99
01:44:34.000 So when you get off this testosterone, if you take some Crazy amount of testosterone in your system. 1.00
01:44:40.000 Your balls shut down. 1.00
01:44:41.000 So you need double the time that you were on that shit to recover. 1.00
01:44:45.000 So say if you went on a cycle and you were Roy Jones, this is hypothetically speaking, and decided to gain 20 pounds of muscle. 0.99
01:44:50.000 If you were on a cycle of steroids for three months, you need six months just to get your shit down to a normal level again. 1.00
01:44:57.000 Your shit is fucked up, man. 1.00
01:44:59.000 Your balls aren't working anymore. 1.00
01:45:00.000 You're doing something that your body's not supposed to have. 0.99
01:45:02.000 Your body's not supposed to have these levels in it.
01:45:04.000 And so when your body has those levels, it shuts off natural production. 0.99
01:45:07.000 And it takes a while for that shit to kick back in. 0.99
01:45:09.000 And if you watch the difference between Roy Jones' body from the Antonio Tarver fight to the John Ruiz fight. 0.99
01:45:16.000 The John Ruiz fight he fought at heavyweight.
01:45:17.000 And the next fight is at light heavyweight.
01:45:18.000 And he was like smooth.
01:45:20.000 He looked like he had no muscle tone.
01:45:22.000 He just didn't look good, man.
01:45:23.000 He looked slow. 0.99
01:45:24.000 And Antonio Tarver knocked him the fuck out. 0.98
01:45:27.000 And that was the first time he ever got knocked out. 0.93
01:45:29.000 And from that point on, it was all downhill. 0.98
01:45:32.000 And then he fought Glenn Johnson, and Glenn Johnson fucked him up. 0.99
01:45:35.000 Glenn Johnson knocked him unconscious. 0.98
01:45:37.000 Dead, stiff-legged, you know, just, you know, that arms up in the air when they're just out cold like that.
01:45:43.000 Glenn Johnson did that to him.
01:45:44.000 And then ever since then, man, it's been a slow slide.
01:45:48.000 You know, he fought scared against Hopkins.
01:45:51.000 He didn't, he didn't go after Hopkins.
01:45:53.000 He just was happy to win a decision or happy to rather to lose a decision and did not get knocked out.
01:45:58.000 He never tried to win that fight.
01:45:59.000 You know, Hopkins was just too good for him.
01:46:01.000 And, you know, and then he fought that guy, Danny green in Australia.
01:46:03.000 He got knocked out in the first round. 0.52
01:46:05.000 And then he fought this Russian dude and got knocked the fuck out in the last round. 0.91
01:46:08.000 And it was ugly, He froze up, like, halfway, like, was crumbling, and the referee, the guy looks at the referee, and the referee wouldn't stop it, so he goes, alright, ba-bing! 0.69
01:46:19.000 While he's crumpling, while, like, Roy Jones is essentially slowly crumpling, this dude tees off with two full power shots, and he face plants, completely unconscious.
01:46:30.000 And so then he goes on HBO a couple weeks later and he can't say spectacular.
01:46:34.000 We are watching the slow slide.
01:46:37.000 We are watching everything that that guy was terrified of when he was a 20-year-old phenom, when he was on top of the world lighting people up.
01:46:44.000 What about that rap song that he did?
01:46:46.000 Dude, you've got to talk in the microphone.
01:46:48.000 We can't hear you.
01:46:49.000 You know that rap song?
01:46:50.000 Yeah, y'all must have forgot.
01:46:51.000 Yeah, we need to hear that for 30 seconds.
01:46:53.000 No, I don't think we can, man.
01:46:55.000 Now that we're on Sirius, we're on Sirius Satellite Radio, we're not allowed to play music anymore.
01:47:00.000 At all?
01:47:00.000 We get sued.
01:47:01.000 Did you see this shit? 1.00
01:47:01.000 Yeah, the Nebraska power plant is about to get fucking flooded. 1.00
01:47:04.000 Here's a question. 1.00
01:47:05.000 Have you seen this shit? 1.00
01:47:06.000 Look at the pictures. 1.00
01:47:08.000 Obviously, they have flooding problems here.
01:47:10.000 Show Eddie that photo, because that's just a trip.
01:47:12.000 You'll have to see the photo.
01:47:13.000 That's a nuclear power plant, bro.
01:47:14.000 Wow.
01:47:15.000 Why isn't there a wall at least the size of maybe ten times the height of the current wall around that whole entire place if it's near water or the ability to get flooded?
01:47:26.000 Well, there's a lot of floods going on, man, that nobody ever anticipated. 0.98
01:47:29.000 What we're finding out right now with Japan and what we're finding out with this as well is they didn't do a lot of what-ifs when they built these fucking things. 0.97
01:47:38.000 First of all, they don't have any options to shut them down if they don't have any power. 0.92
01:47:43.000 When they lost the backup generators in Japan and everything got flooded out by the tsunami, they had essentially eight hours before that thing started melting down. 1.00
01:47:50.000 They're fucked. 0.99
01:47:51.000 There's no way to stop it. 1.00
01:47:52.000 They made these crazy things, these fusion or fission reactors, whatever they are, fusion or fission?
01:47:58.000 Which one is it?
01:47:58.000 Nuclear fusion?
01:47:59.000 I think it's fusion. 0.97
01:48:00.000 Whatever the fuck it is, this incredible amount of energy in this one isolated area, and they can't stop it. 0.97
01:48:07.000 They don't know how to stop it. 0.99
01:48:08.000 What's going on in Japan right now, man?
01:48:10.000 The Michio Kaku just wrote a really fascinating and terrifying article about it, about how there are three complete meltdowns in those plants in Japan.
01:48:19.000 And, you know, there's people online that are in denial about this for some reason.
01:48:22.000 Like someone in my message board was, you know, on a thread about this was like, oh, you know, you're giving out misinformation about Japan.
01:48:28.000 It's not that bad. 1.00
01:48:29.000 The fuck it's not, man. 0.99
01:48:31.000 There's video online on YouTube of people that live miles and miles away that have taken Geiger counters and they walk around with the Geiger counter on and then they take the Geiger counter and they put the Geiger counter on the ground. 1.00
01:48:41.000 And that's when it's fucking terrifying.
01:48:43.000 Because in the air, when you walk it around, it looks like, yeah, it's a little radioactive, but not too bad. 0.99
01:48:48.000 But then when you put the fucking thing on the ground, there's a couple videos like this. 0.97
01:48:51.000 You see the fucking levels are off the charts, like way into the levels where people aren't supposed to be anywhere near. 0.99
01:48:58.000 Seriously? 0.99
01:48:59.000 Yeah, and it's on the ground, man. 1.00
01:49:00.000 It's on the fucking ground. 0.99
01:49:01.000 Because that's where apparently all the radioactivity collects. 1.00
01:49:04.000 It collects on the ground.
01:49:06.000 So this guy takes this Geiger counter and puts it on the ground.
01:49:09.000 So I'm freaking out, man.
01:49:10.000 So I bought some Geiger counters on Amazon.
01:49:12.000 I tried to buy some Geiger counters.
01:49:13.000 Are you serious?
01:49:14.000 Yeah, especially after we had the conversation about Rock-A-Dine. 0.93
01:49:17.000 Rock-A-Dine, which is only, you know, fucking 10 miles from here or something like that. 0.81
01:49:20.000 It had a total meltdown, supposedly, in the 50s. 0.96
01:49:23.000 That's probably where the zombies would start, right?
01:49:25.000 In Japan?
01:49:26.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:49:27.000 Dude, I think what we should do with Japan is we should help those fucking people that are anywhere near that place, help them get out, and then use that as a place to store the world's garbage. 1.00
01:49:36.000 That place sucks. 1.00
01:49:37.000 That's not your idea. 1.00
01:49:38.000 I've been saying that on stage for weeks, bitch. 1.00
01:49:40.000 How dare you? 1.00
01:49:41.000 I'm the one that said that.
01:49:42.000 How dare you?
01:49:43.000 Like two podcasts ago, I said that. 0.72
01:49:45.000 I was like, we should use nuclear places to put all our trash.
01:49:48.000 You don't remember that?
01:49:48.000 Dude, I said that too.
01:49:50.000 You think you said that before me?
01:49:52.000 Yeah, yeah, I did.
01:49:53.000 You sure you said that before me before I said it on stage?
01:49:55.000 100%. 1.00
01:49:56.000 I doubt that, bitch. 1.00
01:49:57.000 No, because when I said it, you were like, that's actually a really good idea. 0.99
01:49:59.000 You might be right now that I think about it.
01:50:01.000 Either way.
01:50:02.000 It's a perfect idea.
01:50:03.000 It's a perfect idea.
01:50:04.000 Yeah, I think it's an awesome idea.
01:50:05.000 Whoever's idea it was, maybe it was yours.
01:50:06.000 I smoke too much weed.
01:50:08.000 If it was your idea?
01:50:10.000 Ninja zombies.
01:50:11.000 There's a movie right there. 0.99
01:50:13.000 A spot where we could just dump garbage.
01:50:15.000 Right into the hole of it. 0.54
01:50:16.000 Fly over in a helicopter and just drop it right into the...
01:50:19.000 What would happen?
01:50:20.000 Well, hopefully this...
01:50:21.000 What is that thing called that's making a black hole? 0.84
01:50:23.000 Hopefully it turns into a really bad black hole and then we can just put the garbage on the black hole.
01:50:28.000 The Large Hadron Collider so we could litter in other galaxies.
01:50:31.000 That's a terrible idea.
01:50:32.000 That would be awesome.
01:50:33.000 All these Ewoks crying. 1.00
01:50:36.000 You know how they have hypernovas in space?
01:50:38.000 They find these hypernovas that are basically these really super powerful novas that have these jets of energy spraying out in either direction.
01:50:46.000 What if that was garbage?
01:50:48.000 What if we got like really close? 1.00
01:50:49.000 We saw like cans and shit and rubbers and it turns out that all that shit spraying out was the garbage of another dimension. 1.00
01:50:56.000 They had figured out how to launch all of their garbage with a rocket ship into black holes. 1.00
01:51:01.000 The planet's all clean.
01:51:02.000 The planet's super clean.
01:51:04.000 Like they all walk around with a portable like connection to that black hole.
01:51:07.000 I saw another thing that I see and I'm gonna report on this because this is number nine for me.
01:51:12.000 This is the ninth time I've seen this. 0.99
01:51:13.000 A fucking guy in a Prius throwing a cigarette out the window. 1.00
01:51:17.000 God damn, that drives me crazy. 1.00
01:51:19.000 This motherfucker pulled into an organic foods parking lot of an organic food store. 1.00
01:51:25.000 Gets out of his Prius and throws his fucking cigarette on the ground. 1.00
01:51:28.000 I'm like, you cunt. 1.00
01:51:30.000 You dumb, dumb, dumb cunt. 1.00
01:51:33.000 You stupid fuck. 1.00
01:51:35.000 What kind of a person goes so far to think they're helping the environment by buying a Prius? 1.00
01:51:40.000 He had a ponytail on, so he's like, I'm living natural.
01:51:43.000 I'm going to go get some natural organic food and I'm just going to throw my cigarette right there.
01:51:46.000 I think that was a King of the Hill episode.
01:51:49.000 Did it really?
01:51:49.000 Doing a King of the Hill?
01:51:50.000 He started working at a Whole Foods and it was similar to that.
01:51:55.000 Did he throw cigarettes out the window at Whole Foods?
01:51:56.000 They had Priuses, and they were just constantly contradicting themselves like that.
01:52:02.000 Well, it's people, man.
01:52:03.000 I've seen nine times now.
01:52:05.000 Nine times I've seen a guy in a Prius throw a cigarette out the window.
01:52:07.000 Nine.
01:52:08.000 Over the course of my entire life, this is the ninth guy.
01:52:11.000 I've been documenting them.
01:52:12.000 The last one was in San Francisco.
01:52:14.000 The last one in San Francisco, I saw two in a weekend I was there. 0.99
01:52:17.000 I was there Thursday through Sunday working at Cobbs, and I saw two guys in their fucking Priuses throw cigarettes out the window. 0.99
01:52:24.000 That's incredible. 0.99
01:52:25.000 It's incredible.
01:52:25.000 You should videotape it.
01:52:26.000 Put it on YouTube. 1.00
01:52:27.000 You never know to have your fucking camera out. 0.99
01:52:29.000 Like, there's a guy in a Prius. 1.00
01:52:30.000 Let's follow him.
01:52:31.000 He's smoking.
01:52:31.000 I know.
01:52:32.000 He's got this fuck. 1.00
01:52:32.000 He's going to throw it out the fucking window. 1.00
01:52:35.000 Gizmodo also has an article about LSD being used to treat what they call suicide headaches, which are people that have really bad headaches to the point where they almost want to kill themselves, like migraines times a billion, right? 1.00
01:52:47.000 So these two psychiatrists have been giving LSD to these patients, and I think they said, like, almost...
01:52:56.000 All six patients reported a decrease in the number of cluster attacks, and five said this effect lasted for months after they had taken LSD. Well, if they had the right dosage of LSD, if you could administer it in a laboratory and you knew exactly what you were getting, there was an article really recently that said that MDMA, which is ecstasy, and LSD are far closer to being available for prescription than anybody would really imagine.
01:53:20.000 Really?
01:53:20.000 Yeah.
01:53:21.000 Far closer.
01:53:22.000 I tell you, man.
01:53:22.000 For therapeutic use.
01:53:23.000 That is one of the most beautiful drugs in the world.
01:53:26.000 It's incredible.
01:53:27.000 Molly.
01:53:28.000 Pure ecstasy or whatever it is.
01:53:30.000 I can't get enough of it.
01:53:32.000 But what's weird is recently I bought some ecstasy and I didn't feel the same of normal ecstasy feeling.
01:53:38.000 And you came in talking like Roy Jones.
01:53:40.000 Allegedly.
01:53:43.000 And so I was telling this other guy I know, I'm like, hey, yeah, so I got this stuff.
01:53:46.000 It looked like Molly, but the guy said it was Ecstasy.
01:53:49.000 And it did this.
01:53:51.000 This was my effects on it.
01:53:52.000 He goes, oh, yeah, that's bath salts.
01:53:53.000 People are actually selling that as Ecstasy a lot in L.A. right now. 1.00
01:53:56.000 Oh, so you did that bath salts shit? 1.00
01:53:59.000 You did that mess shit? 1.00
01:54:00.000 Bath salts in the house. 1.00
01:54:01.000 You're retarded, man. 1.00
01:54:02.000 You're just doing whatever people give you. 1.00
01:54:04.000 And what's funny is that it felt like ecstasy.
01:54:07.000 It started like, okay, here it goes.
01:54:09.000 I'm feeling good.
01:54:11.000 I guess I'm tired.
01:54:12.000 Good night.
01:54:13.000 It almost got to the point.
01:54:15.000 So it got euphoric?
01:54:17.000 Euphoric, body kind of feeling good, kind of like the ecstasy feeling, but then it just fizzles off.
01:54:23.000 Does every ecstasy have that next day blah feeling?
01:54:28.000 Well, I was using Onnitlabs.com's roll on and roll off, so I had no feeling the next day.
01:54:35.000 I felt fine.
01:54:36.000 And this stuff really works?
01:54:37.000 The Onnit stuff felt like... 0.99
01:54:38.000 I gave that shit, the nootropic formula. 1.00
01:54:41.000 Eddie, do you know we're making a brain pill? 1.00
01:54:43.000 Oh, I gotta talk about this too.
01:54:44.000 We're making a brain pill.
01:54:46.000 We're making a nootropic.
01:54:46.000 You and Brian?
01:54:47.000 No, no, no.
01:54:47.000 Me and Chris Marcus.
01:54:48.000 Chris Marcus is doing all the work.
01:54:49.000 I'm gonna help him promote it.
01:54:51.000 But he started a laboratory when he left Fleshlight.
01:54:54.000 Started a laboratory for...
01:54:56.000 He's been on the podcast a bunch of times.
01:54:57.000 Twice.
01:54:58.000 And he...
01:55:00.000 He decided to come up with his own business and one of them was that there's a bunch of different nootropics, a bunch of different supplements that can aid in brain function.
01:55:09.000 And what he did is combine all the best ones and put them together.
01:55:13.000 Dude, they give you the craziest...
01:55:15.000 Well, that's when I had the Arnold Schwarzenegger dream.
01:55:17.000 My girlfriend and I have been letting her have some of it.
01:55:20.000 Nightmares.
01:55:20.000 Really?
01:55:21.000 Just intense nightmares.
01:55:22.000 And I didn't have nightmares, but I had intense dreams.
01:55:25.000 Yeah, your girlfriend's terrified.
01:55:26.000 After you said that, I started actually realizing, oh, it's because of that.
01:55:30.000 Is it like when you go to health food stores, they have bottles of brain factors?
01:55:33.000 No, they're not...
01:55:34.000 Well, it may be like that, but this is going to be much stronger.
01:55:37.000 This stuff is like super...
01:55:38.000 Larry had one called brain factors and had like ginkgo biloba.
01:55:41.000 Yeah.
01:55:41.000 Everything for the brain all in one formula.
01:55:43.000 I don't know what his levels were and what stuff he had as opposed to what stuff Chris has had.
01:55:47.000 I would like to look at the two of them. 0.84
01:55:48.000 But whatever it is, this shit that Chris has put together, he's thoroughly researched this and come up with this incredible formula. 0.99
01:55:54.000 It really fucking works. 1.00
01:55:56.000 First of all, the really freaky thing is, man, you don't get tired on this shit. 1.00
01:55:59.000 That's the weird thing. 0.99
01:56:00.000 Like, if I travel all the way across the country, you would figure by the time I get there five hours later, I'm exhausted, right? 0.99
01:56:06.000 But when I take these fucking pills, man, we did a show on Friday. 0.99
01:56:09.000 We flew a red eye, alright? 1.00
01:56:11.000 Landed Friday morning.
01:56:13.000 I didn't sleep at all.
01:56:15.000 I slept a little bit on the plane.
01:56:16.000 I ate something.
01:56:17.000 Got in the shower.
01:56:18.000 Went to the UFC weigh-ins.
01:56:20.000 Went from the weigh-ins to got some food.
01:56:22.000 Ate food.
01:56:23.000 Worked over my material.
01:56:25.000 Went over some of my material.
01:56:26.000 Got with Joey.
01:56:28.000 We smoked a joint.
01:56:29.000 Went on stage.
01:56:30.000 Then did our show.
01:56:31.000 Afterwards, went to hang out with Ralphie Mae.
01:56:33.000 Afterwards, went to a strip club.
01:56:35.000 Afterwards, came back to the hotel and I'm still awake. 0.97
01:56:39.000 I'm like, how the fuck am I awake? 1.00
01:56:40.000 And then I realized I took six of those fucking pills. 1.00
01:56:42.000 Six? 1.00
01:56:43.000 I took three earlier.
01:56:44.000 Yeah, because I was exhausted.
01:56:46.000 I took three in the morning and then three like an hour before the show.
01:56:49.000 Wow.
01:56:49.000 Woo!
01:56:50.000 Dog! 0.99
01:56:51.000 Dude, I was figuring some shit out, man. 0.99
01:56:54.000 The crazy thing is when you have dreams, the dreams are super vivid and you can remember them, man. 0.97
01:56:58.000 It's because your mind's, whatever receptor's awake, something's awake that's usually not awake.
01:57:03.000 Because that's like when we were talking about nicotine, where it keeps your nicotine receptors in your head awake when you're on, you know, do a patch while you're sleeping. 0.96
01:57:10.000 Whatever's in that shit has something that it's reacting to and keeping it awake. 0.67
01:57:13.000 Well, what I was impressed with is that I had some good ideas, and I didn't want to get up and write them down, and I actually remembered them in the morning. 0.99
01:57:19.000 Oh, really?
01:57:20.000 That never happens.
01:57:21.000 Yeah.
01:57:21.000 That never happens.
01:57:22.000 I feel sharper, definitely.
01:57:23.000 I was going over that video.
01:57:25.000 You know, there's that video, have you seen it online, of the Miss USA pageant contestants?
01:57:29.000 They're asking them about evolution.
01:57:31.000 Yeah.
01:57:31.000 Have you seen it?
01:57:32.000 Yeah, I saw it. 1.00
01:57:32.000 Pull that shit up because it's fucking fascinating. 1.00
01:57:34.000 Pull it up and we'll play a little bit of it because it's the most ridiculous shit ever. 1.00
01:57:38.000 They get these girls and all of them from the deep south, all of them don't believe in evolution. 0.99
01:57:42.000 They're all like, I don't believe in evolution.
01:57:46.000 And I'm thinking while I'm there, of course you don't believe in evolution.
01:57:48.000 You're 20 years old. 0.99
01:57:50.000 Nobody's ever caveman fucked you. 1.00
01:57:51.000 Nobody ever gorilla fucked you. 0.99
01:57:52.000 You don't know what darkness really is. 0.98
01:57:55.000 You don't know that there's shades to man.
01:57:57.000 There's a whole progression. 0.99
01:57:58.000 There's a fucking spectrum of human behavior from really civilized and beautiful and nice to barbaric and animalistic. 1.00
01:58:05.000 And that shit's because we came from fucking animals, Hooker. 1.00
01:58:07.000 You just haven't experienced that yet in your little cute life with your sash on and your fucking... 1.00
01:58:13.000 I remembered it all vividly when I woke up in the morning. 1.00
01:58:16.000 What is the...
01:58:17.000 We don't really have to see it.
01:58:18.000 It's really low-hanging fruit.
01:58:20.000 It's low-hanging fruit. 0.99
01:58:21.000 It's just really, really poor, dumb girls that are 20 years old and they're asking about evolution and they're saying things that they want people to hear. 1.00
01:58:28.000 Well, I think Jesus put me here for a purpose because they think that all the people from their church and all the people back home, that's what they would want to hear. 0.98
01:58:35.000 You know, when you're 20 years old and you're indoctrinated into the world of religion, what are the odds that you actually have a real opinion of it? 0.99
01:58:40.000 You actually sat down and sorted this shit out. 0.99
01:58:43.000 Most of the time they're just spitting out shit that other people have been saying to them their whole life. 0.99
01:58:47.000 You know? 1.00
01:58:47.000 20 years old. 1.00
01:58:48.000 The fuck did you know when you were 20? 1.00
01:58:50.000 Could you imagine if somebody had you on video talking about what you thought about the world when you were 20? 1.00
01:58:55.000 I was an atheist at 20. You gotta talk in the mic, bro.
01:58:57.000 I was an atheist at 20. Yeah.
01:59:01.000 I have video of me at 20 just smoking weed with a bunch of my friends.
01:59:04.000 That's all I cared about.
01:59:06.000 Smoking weed and music.
01:59:08.000 Yeah, well, you probably just...
01:59:09.000 You were stuck in Ohio, too, man.
01:59:11.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:59:11.000 You know, what the fuck? 1.00
01:59:12.000 You were in Columbus. 1.00
01:59:13.000 You're like, what am I doing?
01:59:14.000 You're all over the place now. 1.00
01:59:15.000 Your shit's blowing the fuck up. 1.00
01:59:17.000 You're 10th planet. 1.00
01:59:19.000 Are you ever at home?
01:59:20.000 Are you going out to a different city every week?
01:59:22.000 Are you doing classes at all these places?
01:59:23.000 Tell everybody what you're talking about, man.
01:59:25.000 What you were talking about?
01:59:26.000 You were saying 10th Planets.
01:59:27.000 Oh, 10th Planets.
01:59:28.000 Yeah, Jiu-Jitsu Schools.
01:59:29.000 But you have them all over the place now.
01:59:31.000 How many do you have now?
01:59:32.000 Around 30. Wow.
01:59:34.000 Shit. 1.00
01:59:34.000 And so you're traveling pretty much every weekend to do a seminar at one of them? 1.00
01:59:37.000 I'm trying to do two a month.
01:59:39.000 And for me, vacation is staying in LA, staying home.
01:59:42.000 Yeah.
01:59:42.000 And I like...
01:59:43.000 I like being at my house.
01:59:45.000 I love hanging with my bunny and my girlfriend.
01:59:47.000 Just relaxing.
01:59:48.000 Go check out a movie.
01:59:50.000 Just doing nothing.
01:59:51.000 I love doing nothing at home. 0.98
01:59:53.000 When you have a day when you don't have to fucking be anywhere. 0.97
01:59:55.000 It's so beautiful. 0.97
01:59:56.000 I try to stay home two weekends out of the month.
02:00:00.000 That's why I quit the UFC as well.
02:00:02.000 If I was trying to make it to my schools and do the UFC, I'd be gone every weekend.
02:00:06.000 Just can't do it.
02:00:08.000 Well, that's good that your schools have become quite successful now.
02:00:11.000 It's so funny.
02:00:12.000 I see your shirt, your logo at all these places.
02:00:16.000 I'll be just sitting there going like, oh my god, that guy has a 10th Planet shirt on.
02:00:19.000 And it makes me almost want to be like, hey dude, what's up?
02:00:21.000 I feel like, oh, they all know Eddie's.
02:00:23.000 Why don't you just take jiu-jitsu?
02:00:24.000 I got Ari to do it for a year.
02:00:26.000 Well, one, my knee.
02:00:27.000 Two, time. 0.99
02:00:28.000 Your knee, is that fucked up? 0.99
02:00:30.000 It will pop out of place in jiu-jitsu, probably. 0.99
02:00:32.000 I'm not going to risk that.
02:00:33.000 When was the last time it popped out of place?
02:00:35.000 It only popped out once, and then once it was close popping out where it felt like it did.
02:00:38.000 How long after your actual injury was this that it popped out?
02:00:43.000 Three years, four years.
02:00:44.000 Really?
02:00:44.000 So it was pretty far afterwards.
02:00:46.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
02:00:46.000 So it's still fucked. 1.00
02:00:47.000 It was skiing, too. 0.99
02:00:48.000 And I was like, oh my god, did it just pop out? 0.99
02:00:49.000 That fucking hurt. 0.99
02:00:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:00:51.000 You've got to develop a higher tolerance to pain, son.
02:00:54.000 You know, I just don't have time for that.
02:00:55.000 That's one thing you get from jiu-jitsu, man.
02:00:56.000 You get a high-ass tolerance to pain.
02:00:58.000 Because you're always in pain.
02:00:59.000 You're always getting smashed.
02:01:00.000 Your neck's getting choked. 0.98
02:01:02.000 Your face is getting smushed. 1.00
02:01:03.000 When you get tattooed, some people get tattooed and they fucking scream in agony. 0.99
02:01:07.000 I fell asleep getting tattooed once. 0.99
02:01:09.000 Literally nodded out.
02:01:10.000 You get used to putting it out.
02:01:12.000 You get used to putting pain in any martial art.
02:01:15.000 Anytime you're hitting things.
02:01:16.000 Muay Thai guys, man, you don't think they get accustomed to pain? 1.00
02:01:20.000 Leg kicks always hurt, man.
02:01:21.000 They're going to hurt forever.
02:01:22.000 But you just get accustomed to that.
02:01:24.000 You just deal with it.
02:01:25.000 Your legs certainly toughen up.
02:01:27.000 Especially your, you know, your thighs toughen up and your shins really toughen up. 0.99
02:01:30.000 They actually develop, like, little micro-fractures over the surface of your shin from clashing into other shins and kicking fucking banana trees and shit like that. 0.97
02:01:37.000 Like, those crazy Thai guys that are constantly kicking, like, banana trees, they develop, like, shins that are like weapons, man. 1.00
02:01:44.000 You know, there's, like, a sports science on it where they showed Melcher, God, I forget the last, his name, his phone, but it was a, He's a Muay Thai guy.
02:01:55.000 But he's a former world champion.
02:01:57.000 And they had him kick baseball bats. 0.89
02:01:58.000 And he was breaking baseball bats with his shins. 0.92
02:02:02.000 Dude. 0.83
02:02:02.000 Dude. 0.83
02:02:03.000 It was so crazy to watch.
02:02:05.000 Just swinging that leg kick into a baseball bat and snapping the handle off. 1.00
02:02:11.000 Fuck that, dude. 1.00
02:02:12.000 He did two different kinds. 1.00
02:02:13.000 He did an ash one, an ash bat, and a maple bat.
02:02:17.000 Because the ash bat apparently is a little easier. 0.96
02:02:19.000 So then he moved to the maple one next.
02:02:22.000 Dude.
02:02:22.000 Oh, thank you.
02:02:23.000 Yeah, that is...
02:02:24.000 I'm grabbing my shins right now.
02:02:26.000 There's such a difference in striking, the difference between striking and jujitsu.
02:02:30.000 I mean, you can get hurt in both of them for sure.
02:02:32.000 Miguel Torres, former WBC Bantamweight champion, posted a picture, worst BJJ injury ever at my gym, and it's a dude's toe.
02:02:40.000 His toe got broken.
02:02:41.000 Have you seen it?
02:02:42.000 You have to see it.
02:02:43.000 You need to look at it.
02:02:44.000 Dude's toe got broken and snapped off and the bone was sticking straight out.
02:02:48.000 Dude, it was hardcore.
02:02:51.000 And I was like, yeah, that can happen, man. 1.00
02:02:53.000 Dudes can get fucked up. 0.99
02:02:54.000 But in striking, you're much more likely to get Roy Jonesed in striking. 1.00
02:02:59.000 That shit's happening on a regular. 0.99
02:03:01.000 Dudes are constantly getting brained, you know? 1.00
02:03:04.000 Brained.
02:03:04.000 Constantly getting knocked out.
02:03:05.000 There was a post on the Underground the other day.
02:03:07.000 Some guy was talking about getting knocked out in training, you know, and how much it pissed you off.
02:03:11.000 Some new guy came in, didn't really know what he was doing, swang full blast, and he didn't get out of the way, and he got knocked unconscious. 0.99
02:03:17.000 You know, and fucking... 0.99
02:03:19.000 Not good, man. 1.00
02:03:20.000 When you watch something like Pat Berry and Check Congo, does that shit register with you? 0.99
02:03:24.000 Do you see that and go, whoa, what's going on inside Pat Berry's head right now? 0.99
02:03:29.000 And Check Congo, as both of them got rained on, you know?
02:03:34.000 Yeah.
02:03:35.000 For a fan, it was amazing, but I would never want to do that.
02:03:40.000 I love watching it, though, but...
02:03:42.000 I'm not down for getting hit.
02:03:44.000 It'd be awesome if they could fix it, you know? 0.97
02:03:46.000 It's like, you know, if you tear a knee ligament, they can fucking get another ligament, stick it in there, and screw it in place, and they can fix you up nice. 0.94
02:03:56.000 If you hurt your brain, they go, dude, don't worry about it. 0.99
02:03:59.000 We're going to put you in this chamber.
02:04:00.000 It rejuvenates all your brain cells, and you're going to be 100% in a couple of weeks.
02:04:04.000 What if this Chris Marcus stuff actually does that?
02:04:07.000 I don't think so.
02:04:09.000 It's going to be a lot more complicated than some herbs, I think.
02:04:12.000 I would think that if there's going to be something that regenerates brain tissue that's injured, it's going to be something like some nanotechnology, something that rehabilitates or You know, fix his tissue.
02:04:21.000 You guys should sponsor Roy Jones and see what happens.
02:04:25.000 He's all speaking Shakespearean off the top of his head.
02:04:31.000 This is spectacular.
02:04:32.000 He's not even willing to retire.
02:04:34.000 He owes taxes, apparently.
02:04:35.000 He owes $3.5 million in taxes, according to my online sources that I loosely and quickly Googled.
02:04:41.000 How does someone with millions?
02:04:43.000 They don't pay, man. 0.99
02:04:44.000 They don't fucking pay. 0.99
02:04:46.000 They just don't have a business manager or an accountant? 1.00
02:04:48.000 They just get stupid, man. 1.00
02:04:49.000 They get stupid. 1.00
02:04:50.000 They get stupid. 1.00
02:04:51.000 They just spend all that money, and they have some wacky motherfucker that's handling their money. 1.00
02:04:56.000 Just like the kind of guy who would have a wacky motherfucker handling his hormones, there's a guy that would have a wacky motherfucker handling his money, and that guy tells you, like Wesley Snipes' dude told him, You know, hey, you don't have to pay taxes, man. 1.00
02:05:06.000 That shit is unconstitutional. 1.00
02:05:07.000 Look, I'll show you the clauses, man. 1.00
02:05:09.000 They ain't even gonna come after you because they don't want anybody to know about this.
02:05:12.000 And they're like, oh, yeah, no, they're gonna come after you and you're gonna have to go to jail for a few years.
02:05:16.000 You know, you're a movie star and all of a sudden you're in jail.
02:05:19.000 You're in a cage.
02:05:20.000 He's still in jail?
02:05:20.000 Yeah, man.
02:05:21.000 He's in jail right now.
02:05:22.000 He's in jail right now.
02:05:23.000 He's gonna be in jail for three years. 1.00
02:05:26.000 They want to let people know, hey, we will lock you in a fucking cage, stupid. 1.00
02:05:31.000 You need to pay us and you need to let everybody know that you're paying and let everybody know that they need to pay. 1.00
02:05:36.000 We all need money to make this fucking thing work. 0.99
02:05:39.000 Cops don't work for free. 1.00
02:05:40.000 It's not free to fix the highways. 1.00
02:05:42.000 We need fucking money. 0.97
02:05:43.000 Even if you don't agree with it, even if it's too much, and I agree it is, it's definitely too much. 1.00
02:05:47.000 You've got to pay that shit anyway, son. 1.00
02:05:49.000 That put you in a fucking cage, right, Brian? 1.00
02:05:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:05:51.000 Do you have some tax problems?
02:05:52.000 I still do.
02:05:53.000 What's your tax problems?
02:05:54.000 Now the state's coming after me What did you do? 1.00
02:05:59.000 I used TurboTax and blindly was like, oh, I have receipts for all this shit. 0.98
02:06:04.000 Thinking that I would just use my credit card statements. 0.93
02:06:06.000 And then I didn't know that credit card statements only go back now like a year.
02:06:10.000 Like if you want to go back in time and look at a statement or something like that, they don't let you go any farther than a year.
02:06:15.000 You can't even find them?
02:06:17.000 No.
02:06:17.000 Really?
02:06:17.000 No.
02:06:18.000 No.
02:06:18.000 Whoa.
02:06:19.000 So I didn't know that.
02:06:19.000 So I was doing my taxes thinking like, oh yeah, you know, I got proof of purchase, you know, on my statements and stuff.
02:06:25.000 What is that? 0.99
02:06:25.000 Like the bank getting together with the fucking tax people? 0.99
02:06:28.000 Absolutely. 0.99
02:06:29.000 Do you think that they conspired? 0.99
02:06:30.000 They're like, let's just fuck a lot of people out of money, man. 0.99
02:06:32.000 We can get a lot more money that way. 1.00
02:06:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:06:34.000 All these assholes claiming deductibles and shit. 1.00
02:06:37.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:06:37.000 It's stressful stuff, man. 1.00
02:06:39.000 I've had a business manager now three years, and it relieves so much stress. 0.99
02:06:44.000 I don't think about shit. 1.00
02:06:46.000 If the government came after me, I got all that shit under control. 1.00
02:06:50.000 Well, now I just don't do it. 0.99
02:06:51.000 Even though I should be writing all this shit off that I do and stuff like that, now I'm just like, you know what? 1.00
02:06:54.000 Fuck it. 1.00
02:06:55.000 I will just do like I do. 1.00
02:06:57.000 Why don't you go to H&R Block?
02:07:00.000 Because it's like $1,000 or something like that. 1.00
02:07:02.000 I don't want to do that shit. 0.99
02:07:03.000 Is it a thousand bucks? 1.00
02:07:04.000 No, it's a couple hundred bucks, man.
02:07:06.000 Really?
02:07:06.000 H&R Block.
02:07:07.000 I was doing that before I got my business manager.
02:07:09.000 My girl right now just paid something like $700 at H&R Block to do her taxes. 1.00
02:07:13.000 Really?
02:07:13.000 Maybe he just robbed her.
02:07:14.000 Maybe he's like, look at this bitch. 1.00
02:07:15.000 I'm going to get her to give me a lot of money. 0.98
02:07:18.000 Yeah, I mean, to me, I'd rather, you know, I hate taxes so much, so I'd rather just go to TurboTax, take 10 minutes and do it, and get it sent away, you know, than having to pay extra and try to find money and do all that crap, which I should do.
02:07:29.000 You need an accountant, man.
02:07:30.000 Yeah, I do. 0.99
02:07:31.000 It's also goddamn fucking complicated. 1.00
02:07:33.000 It's too stressful to think about that shit. 1.00
02:07:35.000 It is so fucking complicated, isn't it? 1.00
02:07:36.000 Yo, when my movie drops, I'll go get me an accountant. 0.96
02:07:39.000 When your movie drops?
02:07:40.000 Yeah.
02:07:40.000 What are you gonna do in the movie?
02:07:41.000 Porn. 0.99
02:07:42.000 Hmm. 0.83
02:07:42.000 First person... 0.83
02:07:43.000 There's not any money in porn anymore, dude.
02:07:45.000 You gotta come up with another strategy. 1.00
02:07:46.000 That strategy would have been the shit in 1993. You could have been like Peter North. 1.00
02:07:50.000 Peter North drives a Ferrari, and he did gay porn. 1.00
02:07:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:07:53.000 How about that? 1.00
02:07:54.000 How about that? 1.00
02:07:55.000 He's the only one that got away with doing gay porn. 1.00
02:07:57.000 He did gay porn, and they're like, alright, don't do it again. 0.99
02:07:59.000 And then he came back and did regular porn from then on out. 1.00
02:08:02.000 But he did a little gay porn. 0.99
02:08:03.000 I didn't believe it. 0.99
02:08:04.000 People told me.
02:08:05.000 I was like, no way.
02:08:06.000 Not Peter, man.
02:08:07.000 No way, dude.
02:08:09.000 Because if you're going to have a porn idol, that's the one to have. 0.99
02:08:13.000 Dude shoots these giant monster loads.
02:08:15.000 But then you go and find some videos online. 1.00
02:08:17.000 There's a dude sucking his cock. 1.00
02:08:18.000 And you're like, hey, hey, hey. 1.00
02:08:20.000 And this dude's boning him in the ass. 1.00
02:08:23.000 Hey, hey, hey. 1.00
02:08:24.000 And he tried to say there was like a body double.
02:08:26.000 Son, there ain't no CGI that good.
02:08:29.000 Did we talk about the Hungriest Bud Award?
02:08:31.000 Yeah.
02:08:31.000 Did we talk about that already?
02:08:32.000 We did?
02:08:33.000 Yeah.
02:08:34.000 We talked about it on stage.
02:08:35.000 I think it was the second time that you came on.
02:08:37.000 Oh, we did?
02:08:37.000 Really?
02:08:38.000 Yeah.
02:08:38.000 We talked about it on the podcast?
02:08:40.000 Yeah, second time.
02:08:41.000 That is a crazy story.
02:08:43.000 That's a good story.
02:08:44.000 It is a good story.
02:08:44.000 The quick version of it is that a friend of ours...
02:08:48.000 Don't say his name.
02:08:48.000 Well, I won't say it.
02:08:49.000 I think we did.
02:08:50.000 A friend of ours...
02:08:50.000 No, we didn't.
02:08:51.000 We never did.
02:08:52.000 How dare you?
02:08:53.000 A friend of ours was running a small mixed martial arts corporation, and he found...
02:08:59.000 They did an internet search on one of their fighters, and they found out that he had won the Hungriest Butt Award.
02:09:06.000 And then they Googled him.
02:09:08.000 There was no Google back then.
02:09:09.000 This was like the 90s.
02:09:10.000 And they found some online pictures of him.
02:09:12.000 With two dudes treating him like Chinese finger handcuffs. 1.00
02:09:17.000 How many dicks in your ass do you have to get in a year to get that award? 1.00
02:09:23.000 What was the criteria? 1.00
02:09:24.000 I think it's just what they called a video to sell it.
02:09:29.000 I don't think there was really an award show.
02:09:32.000 No, I think he won like AVM. It was AVM, Hungriest Butt or something.
02:09:37.000 I think it was the name of a video, the Hungriest Butt Awards or something like that.
02:09:41.000 It wasn't an actual award that he won?
02:09:42.000 I don't know. 0.99
02:09:43.000 Look, we could give out an award for the hungriest butt. 1.00
02:09:45.000 Porn awards are fake, by the way. 0.99
02:09:47.000 Brian wins it.
02:09:48.000 You're in the business. 1.00
02:09:50.000 Do you know who the Hillel Gracie of gay porn is? 0.99
02:09:54.000 Who is the master? 1.00
02:09:56.000 Who just crushes everybody?
02:09:57.000 Who's the Kelly Slater? 1.00
02:09:59.000 For guy gay porn? 1.00
02:10:00.000 For gay porn. 1.00
02:10:01.000 I don't know anything about guy gay porn. 1.00
02:10:02.000 There must be. 1.00
02:10:03.000 There must be a Jenna Jameson of gay porn, right? 1.00
02:10:05.000 Like the master of gay porn. 1.00
02:10:07.000 Number one gay male gay porn star. 1.00
02:10:08.000 We shouldn't even be Googling this. 1.00
02:10:09.000 This probably puts you on a list.
02:10:11.000 Yeah, right? 1.00
02:10:13.000 Male gay porn star. 1.00
02:10:15.000 Is there a guy that just stands head and shoulders above everyone else? 1.00
02:10:19.000 I don't know.
02:10:20.000 I don't know.
02:10:21.000 Maybe Twitter would know. 0.99
02:10:23.000 I bet if we asked Twitter, Dear Twitter, what is the number one gay male porn star in the world? 0.99
02:10:29.000 Is there a Michael Jordan of gay porn? 0.99
02:10:31.000 I will read off the first answer. 1.00
02:10:33.000 Probably not.
02:10:33.000 You don't think so?
02:10:34.000 No.
02:10:34.000 I think there's so many...
02:10:36.000 I don't know. 0.99
02:10:37.000 There's always some Lance Armstrong type motherfucker that figures things out that other people can't. 0.97
02:10:42.000 Just rises to the top and becomes famous at a genre where no one else is getting famous. 1.00
02:10:47.000 Is there gay gangbangs? 1.00
02:10:49.000 Is there a dude who went through 50 dudes? 1.00
02:10:51.000 Do they DP or triple P in the butthole? 0.99
02:10:54.000 I don't know. 0.64
02:10:55.000 Do they do that?
02:10:55.000 I don't know.
02:10:56.000 Why are you asking me?
02:10:58.000 Okay, this guy says, Brent Corrigan, or this is a woman, rather, Ampers, and she says it's Brent Corrigan that might be her ex-boyfriend.
02:11:09.000 Let's see.
02:11:10.000 Oh, yeah, it might be her ex-boyfriend. 1.00
02:11:12.000 She might be like, this fucking clown. 1.00
02:11:14.000 I'm going to get him on the Joe Rogan podcast. 1.00
02:11:18.000 Okay, let's see. 0.96
02:11:19.000 He's a male, modern, gay pornographer, best known for his stage name, Yep, there he is. 0.97
02:11:26.000 What's so special about him? 0.91
02:11:28.000 Best known for his roles in Schoolboy Crush...
02:11:32.000 And Velvet Mafia. 0.58
02:11:34.000 He has won six Gay VN. They have the Gay VNs. 1.00
02:11:39.000 Gay VN Awards, including Best Bottom Award.
02:11:43.000 Two consecutive years. 0.99
02:11:45.000 Do they count the butthole, or are they just talking about the shape of the butt? 1.00
02:11:50.000 Best Bottom is you being on the bottom, taking in the ass. 1.00
02:11:53.000 Oh, Best Bottom. 1.00
02:11:54.000 They wouldn't say bottom instead of butthole. 0.95
02:11:57.000 Jesus Christ, they're pretty open about how they feel. 0.97
02:12:00.000 Imagine the after party.
02:12:01.000 They would say, I love his bottom. 1.00
02:12:02.000 No, they'd say his asshole. 1.00
02:12:04.000 What's the record for gay gangbangs? 1.00
02:12:07.000 It's a good question. 0.96
02:12:08.000 Is it? 1.00
02:12:10.000 What the fuck, Brian? 1.00
02:12:11.000 This guy's been in a lot of goddamn movies. 1.00
02:12:13.000 Alright, let's find out. 0.99
02:12:15.000 What would we say? 0.99
02:12:18.000 Gay gangbang record? 0.99
02:12:20.000 Gangbang record. 0.99
02:12:24.000 Let's see. 0.93
02:12:25.000 Grease holds the record for the biggest gay gangbang. 1.00
02:12:29.000 Grease the movie? 0.67
02:12:30.000 No.
02:12:31.000 That's probably a dude.
02:12:33.000 This was 780 men. 0.75
02:12:36.000 They crush us regular chicks. 1.00
02:12:38.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:12:39.000 Going nuts on ass butt sucking. 1.00
02:12:41.000 Wow. 1.00
02:12:41.000 780 men. 1.00
02:12:43.000 Yeah.
02:12:43.000 But not one dude, right?
02:12:45.000 Yeah, what about one dude?
02:12:46.000 Yeah, just one dude. 0.99
02:12:47.000 God damn it. 1.00
02:12:48.000 Dude, I believe they gotta crush women. 1.00
02:12:50.000 Because women are doing like 50, maybe 100 is the record, right? 1.00
02:12:54.000 You think so? 0.99
02:12:54.000 But women's have vaginas that are probably more adorable than buttholes. 0.99
02:12:58.000 I think... 1.00
02:12:58.000 The problem is finding these guys that get in line and film it, gay guys, finding that would be hard because it's 10% of the population. 1.00
02:13:06.000 It would be hard. 0.99
02:13:06.000 But if the numbers weren't a problem, they were willing to ship people in, I think gay porn would crush regular porn and gangbangs. 0.99
02:13:14.000 Wow, listen to this though, man. 1.00
02:13:15.000 Listen to this shit. 1.00
02:13:16.000 The most ejaculatory orgasms ever recorded in one hour for a man is 16. 16. In one hour? 1.00
02:13:24.000 Orgasms recorded in one hour for a man.
02:13:26.000 Dude, who's that guy?
02:13:27.000 Four.
02:13:27.000 Four.
02:13:28.000 The furthest a woman has ever been recorded to ejaculate was 9 feet 29 inches.
02:13:34.000 Why would it be 9 feet 29 inches or 12 inches as a foot? 1.00
02:13:37.000 That's stupid. 1.00
02:13:38.000 That doesn't make any sense. 1.00
02:13:40.000 A guy came 16 times in an hour?
02:13:43.000 Why does it say 9 feet 29 inches?
02:13:46.000 Oh, it says 3 meters.
02:13:49.000 Okay.
02:13:49.000 Is that...
02:13:50.000 3 meters is just 9 feet, right?
02:13:51.000 Isn't it?
02:13:51.000 No.
02:13:52.000 There's 3 feet per meter.
02:13:54.000 Right.
02:13:54.000 Roughly.
02:13:54.000 Right.
02:13:55.000 So 3 meters is 9 feet.
02:13:56.000 So why is it 9 feet 29 inches?
02:13:58.000 That doesn't make any sense if 12 inches is a foot. 0.99
02:14:00.000 Anyway, whatever the fuck this says. 0.99
02:14:02.000 The greatest distance ever attained for a jet of semen that has ever been recorded is 18 feet 9 inches. 0.99
02:14:09.000 That's huge. 0.87
02:14:10.000 Wow!
02:14:13.000 That had to be Lexington Steel.
02:14:14.000 Horst Schultz, that's the guy's name, that shot a load that went 18 feet in the air.
02:14:21.000 That's incredible.
02:14:22.000 Up in the air or across?
02:14:25.000 Either way, it's fantastic.
02:14:27.000 It's got to be a distance.
02:14:28.000 No way, it could be straight up. 0.98
02:14:29.000 Dude, 18 feet is ridiculous. 0.96
02:14:31.000 He must have an arch to it. 0.97
02:14:32.000 A nice arch, like a McDonald's sign type thing going on.
02:14:35.000 St. Louis.
02:14:36.000 For 18 feet.
02:14:37.000 Did they video it?
02:14:38.000 I don't know.
02:14:39.000 These are all world records.
02:14:41.000 This is the top 10 sex world records.
02:14:43.000 It's on Believe It or Not.
02:14:44.000 The average speed of a man's loads.
02:14:46.000 What would you say your average speed of your loads would be?
02:14:48.000 Like 35 miles an hour.
02:14:50.000 What do you think, Brian?
02:14:51.000 82. 28 miles an hour.
02:14:54.000 28 miles an hour.
02:14:55.000 So you're pretty close.
02:14:56.000 It's pretty close.
02:14:57.000 Do you think if your car drove by, you could tell the difference between a car going 28 miles an hour and 35 miles an hour? 0.97
02:15:02.000 That's pretty fucking close. 0.98
02:15:04.000 Having swallowed the most amount of semen ever officially recorded, Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July of 1991. Was it pumped out for her ass? 1.00
02:15:18.000 That'd be awesome. 1.00
02:15:18.000 Dude, 1.7 pints. 1.00
02:15:20.000 But maybe if she had like a glass of coconut water, C2O. Very delicious.
02:15:25.000 Right before.
02:15:25.000 And it mixed in with the loads.
02:15:27.000 Maybe it might have increased the size of the quantity of fluid in her. 1.00
02:15:31.000 You know, when she threw up, maybe she was throwing up loads and a Sprite. 0.99
02:15:35.000 You don't know, right?
02:15:36.000 Right?
02:15:37.000 What, are they going to test it?
02:15:38.000 Make sure it's 100% loads?
02:15:40.000 No, they just looked at it.
02:15:41.000 And a slice of pizza.
02:15:42.000 You wouldn't know the difference.
02:15:43.000 Yeah, she just came into a big, one of those big glass baking measurement cups. 1.00
02:15:49.000 She just threw up in it. 1.00
02:15:50.000 It was 1.7. 1.00
02:15:52.000 The fuck is this podcast comedy? 0.99
02:15:54.000 I don't know. 1.00
02:15:54.000 The female gangbang record is owned by a woman named Houston who had intercourse with 620 men. 1.00
02:15:59.000 I think that's been beaten.
02:16:00.000 Yeah, that's been beaten by then.
02:16:02.000 600 guys?
02:16:03.000 Yeah, that's old.
02:16:04.000 That's a lot.
02:16:05.000 I don't think it really is 600 men, though.
02:16:07.000 I think what they do is they do the same guys and they keep rotating them.
02:16:11.000 And they consider that. 0.99
02:16:15.000 So if a girl fucks two dudes and they switch off a couple times, she can say she fucked 15 guys? 1.00
02:16:24.000 This doesn't even have gay. 1.00
02:16:26.000 It has male gangbang. 0.99
02:16:27.000 Male gangbang world record goes to porn star John Doe, who worked himself over 55 women in one day. 0.97
02:16:34.000 He had five to six ejaculations. 0.94
02:16:37.000 That's pretty good. 0.85
02:16:38.000 Well, yeah.
02:16:39.000 Fifty chicks? 1.00
02:16:40.000 Meanwhile, that guy committed suicide. 1.00
02:16:42.000 That guy blew his fucking brains out. 1.00
02:16:44.000 I had four ejaculations the other day within an hour. 1.00
02:16:47.000 Yeah, but all of them were like little teardrops. 0.85
02:16:50.000 That's incredible.
02:16:51.000 Most of them came from your eyes.
02:16:52.000 It becomes really thick and clumpy.
02:16:55.000 Like, it's not hatched yet.
02:16:56.000 I'm coming.
02:16:57.000 He counts it when he cries.
02:16:58.000 I'm coming.
02:16:59.000 I'm coming. 1.00
02:17:01.000 Was this masturbation? 1.00
02:17:03.000 I'm coming on you with my tears, you fucking bitch. 1.00
02:17:06.000 Were you on ecstasy? 1.00
02:17:07.000 No.
02:17:08.000 You weren't on ecstasy? 0.98
02:17:09.000 No, I just have a hot girlfriend that makes me have boners all day. 1.00
02:17:12.000 Are you bragging, bro? 0.99
02:17:13.000 No, I'm just saying that, like, literally, I can have sex non-stop all day. 0.97
02:17:18.000 Did you hear bragging in the air?
02:17:19.000 What's that smell?
02:17:20.000 That's incredible.
02:17:21.000 It's great.
02:17:21.000 Do you believe him?
02:17:23.000 That's hard to believe.
02:17:24.000 I don't know anybody like that.
02:17:27.000 It's possible.
02:17:28.000 It's all possible, dude. 0.98
02:17:30.000 If you were, like, some super alpha Quentin Jackson-looking motherfucker, I might buy it. 0.98
02:17:34.000 I might believe it. 1.00
02:17:35.000 But maybe all your testosterone is just stored up in your balls and your body doesn't use any of it for muscle development or, you know, behavior or any of that shit. 1.00
02:17:43.000 It's all just in your balls ready to shoot. 1.00
02:17:46.000 Seriously, two minutes, like a minute after I come, if I look at this... 0.99
02:17:51.000 Boner comes right back. 1.00
02:17:53.000 Just put your fucking pictures of your girlfriend away. 1.00
02:17:55.000 You're making me sad. 1.00
02:17:56.000 Seriously.
02:17:57.000 It never goes away.
02:17:58.000 For the first time in my life, my boner never goes down.
02:18:02.000 You know why he's saying this?
02:18:03.000 Because he knows his ex-girlfriend listens to the podcast.
02:18:05.000 That's not why.
02:18:06.000 I swear to God, it's not why.
02:18:07.000 You couldn't do that to Taylor?
02:18:08.000 Where's Joey Diaz right now?
02:18:09.000 You couldn't do that to Taylor?
02:18:10.000 Where's Taylor Vixen? 0.99
02:18:11.000 All day?
02:18:13.000 No.
02:18:14.000 No.
02:18:15.000 It's a different thing, right, Brian?
02:18:16.000 It's different.
02:18:17.000 It's love this time.
02:18:18.000 You'll never find. 1.00
02:18:22.000 Whoa, what the fuck are you doing, man? 1.00
02:18:25.000 Tech guy. 1.00
02:18:27.000 So hot in your room.
02:18:28.000 That's pretty impressive, man.
02:18:29.000 It really is.
02:18:30.000 Yeah, well, I just thought it was weird because I never thought it was possible in my life.
02:18:34.000 Like, I've always wondered how, like, guys in porn do it and stuff like that.
02:18:38.000 She's sneaking some Viagra in your drink, son. 0.96
02:18:39.000 It might be because, like, I've already said that.
02:18:42.000 I think she's like...
02:18:43.000 Do you think she's sneaking it in there? 0.96
02:18:44.000 Maybe she got tired of you. 0.75
02:18:45.000 Remember you say you would fall asleep because you were too tired to go down on her and then fall asleep because you were too tired to do anything.
02:18:51.000 You'd do her and then you'd fall asleep.
02:18:53.000 You talked about it on the podcast.
02:18:54.000 Not her?
02:18:55.000 Yes, you did.
02:18:56.000 My current girlfriend.
02:18:57.000 Yes, you did.
02:18:58.000 What'd I say? 1.00
02:18:58.000 You said she was horny and you were too tired to have sex with her so you would go down her. 1.00
02:19:01.000 No, that was one time. 1.00
02:19:02.000 That was one time.
02:19:03.000 One time. 1.00
02:19:05.000 Maybe that time she's like, I'm tired of this shit. 1.00
02:19:07.000 I want to get fucked. 1.00
02:19:08.000 And so she started crumpling up Viagra and I'm going to cook for you tonight, honey. 1.00
02:19:11.000 She made you a nice Viagra meatloaf.
02:19:14.000 In like 2001, I got third row tickets to The Cure.
02:19:18.000 I was so jazzed.
02:19:20.000 Remember Born Again, that stripper? 1.00
02:19:21.000 Sure.
02:19:22.000 It was a long time ago.
02:19:24.000 He was dating a stripper that was a born-again Christian, so he'd call her Born Again.
02:19:27.000 Yeah, that was her nickname, Born Again.
02:19:28.000 That's hilarious.
02:19:29.000 So anyways, she was only stripping just to pay for school, but she was like hardcore Christian. 0.98
02:19:34.000 It was ridiculous. 0.99
02:19:37.000 It was ridiculous. 0.95
02:19:38.000 But we were going to The Cure. 0.76
02:19:40.000 So I'm like, I need some ecstasy for this concert.
02:19:43.000 So I meet up with my buddy in the afternoon to get some ecstasy.
02:19:46.000 And I always have vitamin bottles with me.
02:19:49.000 And I put them in my vitamin bottles.
02:19:50.000 And I go, when I eat, I'm going to take them out of the vitamin bottle and, you know, eat and take my vitamins.
02:19:56.000 It's one o'clock.
02:19:57.000 I go to El Pollo Loco.
02:19:58.000 We're sitting.
02:19:59.000 We're going to leave around seven.
02:20:01.000 I eat my chicken, sitting there watching TV, and I just got really horny. 1.00
02:20:06.000 I just looked at her and I'm like, I'm going to fucking beast fuck this chick. 1.00
02:20:10.000 So I threw her in the bed. 1.00
02:20:11.000 I'm fucking the shit out of her. 1.00
02:20:13.000 I'm like, God damn! 1.00
02:20:15.000 It feels like I'm on ecstasy. 0.99
02:20:18.000 And I go, oh my God!
02:20:20.000 I jumped off the bed, went, opened up my vitamin bottle. 1.00
02:20:24.000 I was like, fuck! 1.00
02:20:25.000 Are you fucking serious? 1.00
02:20:26.000 I took two hits of ecstasy. 1.00
02:20:27.000 I took hers too.
02:20:28.000 I forgot to pull them out of my vitamins.
02:20:31.000 I didn't know I was on ecstasy until right in the middle of sex.
02:20:34.000 That's hilarious.
02:20:34.000 It was incredible sex.
02:20:35.000 I'm like, it's like I'm on E, man. 0.93
02:20:39.000 That's funny.
02:20:39.000 I flew off that bed.
02:20:40.000 I thought that E is supposed to kill your boner.
02:20:43.000 Didn't you say that you would take Viagra and E together because you would call it ecstasy?
02:20:46.000 After a while.
02:20:47.000 After a while, it kills your boner.
02:20:49.000 But not in the beginning. 0.95
02:20:49.000 In the beginning, you get really, really horny. 0.95
02:20:51.000 But if you want to go...
02:20:52.000 E? Because when you're on E, yeah.
02:20:54.000 Well, people are different.
02:20:55.000 No, no, people are different.
02:20:56.000 Like, for me, if, you know, back in the days when every now and then I'd pop an E-pill, I would get a boner really quick.
02:21:03.000 How many times have you done E in your life?
02:21:05.000 How many times?
02:21:05.000 Man, back when I was younger, I probably did E... Maybe...
02:21:16.000 40 times.
02:21:17.000 Whoa! 0.71
02:21:19.000 Is that a lot?
02:21:19.000 That explains a lot, dude.
02:21:21.000 That explains a lot.
02:21:22.000 What do you mean it explains a lot?
02:21:25.000 It was when I was younger. 1.00
02:21:27.000 This motherfucker's taking shit he doesn't even know what it is. 1.00
02:21:29.000 He's taking bath salts. 1.00
02:21:32.000 You gotta get your shit from reputable sources. 1.00
02:21:34.000 Exactly. 0.99
02:21:35.000 You need to find some friendly person that works at a club somewhere.
02:21:38.000 But ecstasy's bad, okay?
02:21:40.000 I don't...
02:21:41.000 It kills your brain.
02:21:43.000 It for sure does.
02:21:43.000 Sure, ecstasy's not bad.
02:21:45.000 The MDMA? The problem is that you don't know what you're taking.
02:21:48.000 Yeah, bath salt boy. 1.00
02:21:49.000 Shit. 1.00
02:21:50.000 Exactly. 1.00
02:21:50.000 That stuff's supposed to be really... 1.00
02:21:52.000 Have you seen this crocodile shit? 1.00
02:21:54.000 The shit that they're taking in the Soviet Union? 1.00
02:21:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:21:56.000 They're shooting it up and it's making your skin rot away. 1.00
02:21:58.000 There's all these photos of people with their bones hanging off.
02:22:01.000 Literally, your bones exposed from wherever they shot it up.
02:22:04.000 Like, their flesh has deteriorated to the point where their bones are exposed.
02:22:08.000 Yeah.
02:22:08.000 It's crazy to look at, man.
02:22:10.000 It's gross.
02:22:12.000 What a weird world we live in, man.
02:22:13.000 People will take some drug that will make your skin literally rot off your body. 1.00
02:22:17.000 People will take some shit that they think is ecstasy and it turns out to be some weird fucking amphetamine that somebody made in the lab. 1.00
02:22:26.000 Who knows what the fuck it's going to do to you. 0.99
02:22:27.000 And it's not the end. 0.99
02:22:28.000 They're going to keep coming up with more and more of these things. 1.00
02:22:30.000 Kill off the dummies. 1.00
02:22:31.000 Yeah, these bath salts. 1.00
02:22:32.000 That's you, bro. 1.00
02:22:33.000 You took that shit. 1.00
02:22:34.000 Does that scare you when you think of that? 1.00
02:22:37.000 That you could have taken something really nutty?
02:22:39.000 No.
02:22:39.000 When you buy stuff like that, if you buy ecstasy, doesn't that scare you?
02:22:42.000 You never know.
02:22:43.000 You might get it from some dude.
02:22:45.000 Yeah, it is scary. 0.99
02:22:45.000 Have you heard about this cocaine that's making people's fucking flesh rot? 0.99
02:22:49.000 Have you heard about this shit? 1.00
02:22:50.000 No. 1.00
02:22:50.000 There's some cocaine. 1.00
02:22:51.000 There's bad cocaine that's in California.
02:22:53.000 It's in New York.
02:22:54.000 And it's treated with some livestock dewormer.
02:22:57.000 That's what they cut it with. 0.99
02:22:58.000 Let me look it up right now because it's fucking crazy. 0.99
02:23:01.000 Are you serious? 0.99
02:23:02.000 Yeah.
02:23:07.000 Yeah, it's cocaine, bad cocaine in Los Angeles and New York City, tainted with some sort of a livestock dewormer. 0.99
02:23:17.000 Yeah, it's really fucked up. 0.99
02:23:18.000 What happens to you when you do it? 0.99
02:23:20.000 They're getting really bad noses, ears, and cheeks develop ugly purple swatches of dead skin. 1.00
02:23:28.000 This is like, it's called Lavamisole.
02:23:32.000 That's the stuff. 1.00
02:23:33.000 And the dealers are cutting it with this shit. 1.00
02:23:35.000 And they say like 90% of the cocaine in New York and California is contaminated with this shit. 1.00
02:23:41.000 90% of the cocaine in California. 1.00
02:23:44.000 Excuse me, 70%.
02:23:45.000 The U.S. Department of Justice is reporting this.
02:23:47.000 Okay, by the way, this is just the U.S. Department of Justice.
02:23:49.000 They might just be saying this to cut out the cocaine business.
02:23:52.000 They're saying up to 70% of the cocaine in the US is contaminated with this lavamisole, which is cheap and widely available and commonly used for deworming livestock.
02:24:03.000 Whoa. 1.00
02:24:05.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00
02:24:07.000 What are they doing? 1.00
02:24:10.000 You would think that that would be something that someone who hates cocaine users would do.
02:24:14.000 You would think that that would be someone who actually wants to stop people from using cocaine.
02:24:18.000 They would mix it in there so that people would stop coming back.
02:24:21.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:24:22.000 Why would you do that if you're trying to sell more cocaine?
02:24:25.000 That almost seems like something the government would do, man.
02:24:29.000 Sounds like the whole story is probably fake and they're just putting it out there to scare you like people on Pirate Bay like, oh, there's a virus in this vial.
02:24:35.000 I don't know.
02:24:35.000 Maybe, but it's on LA Weekly.
02:24:38.000 Seems like they would do their due diligence, don't you think?
02:24:41.000 Yeah, LA Weekly, definitely.
02:24:43.000 Don't you think?
02:24:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:24:44.000 You fell asleep on me, you motherfucker. 1.00
02:24:46.000 No, I'm just... 1.00
02:24:46.000 You're thinking about your girlfriend's ass right now. 1.00
02:24:48.000 No, I just said LA Weekly. 1.00
02:24:48.000 Yeah, definitely. 1.00
02:24:49.000 What do you think, Eddie?
02:24:50.000 Do you think that they would do this? 1.00
02:24:51.000 Who the fuck would do this? 1.00
02:24:51.000 Do you think this is the government? 1.00
02:24:55.000 Who knows?
02:24:56.000 Do you see the UFO videos over London?
02:24:57.000 Do you believe in those?
02:24:58.000 Did you see that?
02:24:58.000 I saw...
02:25:00.000 What does that look like to you?
02:25:02.000 There's so many videos like that.
02:25:04.000 It looks like CGI to me.
02:25:05.000 It's too convenient.
02:25:06.000 The way it's set up is too convenient.
02:25:08.000 There's a bunch of people standing there looking up, and everybody's looking up, and they're catching these things, and they fly in and out of the clouds.
02:25:14.000 I've seen it, but...
02:25:15.000 You know what really makes me think that it's too convenient?
02:25:18.000 The guy looks up, films some of the UFOs, and then looks down at all these people watching, which is the fucking last thing that you would do if you actually thought you saw real UFOs flying through the air. 0.99
02:25:30.000 You would keep the fucking camera on them. 0.96
02:25:32.000 You wouldn't want to turn it and point it down at all these people watching. 1.00
02:25:35.000 Maybe.
02:25:36.000 Maybe you don't know what the hell it is.
02:25:38.000 Like, look, everyone's tripping out.
02:25:39.000 Yeah, but he showed that before.
02:25:41.000 He showed everybody looking up at this guy, and then he catches this.
02:25:43.000 So they think they're all actors?
02:25:44.000 Yeah, I think it's fake. 0.99
02:25:46.000 People get a kick out of doing shit like that. 0.99
02:25:48.000 They think it's cute. 1.00
02:25:49.000 So much fake shit on the internet now. 1.00
02:25:51.000 That's one of the fun things about the internet, trying to figure out what's fake and what's not. 1.00
02:25:54.000 Brian's the master at that shit. 1.00
02:25:56.000 He calls fakes. 1.00
02:25:57.000 He calls fakes better than anybody.
02:25:58.000 But sometimes he's off.
02:26:00.000 Sometimes it's just sound sync problems.
02:26:02.000 And it looks fake. 1.00
02:26:03.000 Look at this cocaine shit. 1.00
02:26:05.000 Look at what it's doing to these people. 1.00
02:26:07.000 It's making their skin rot off.
02:26:09.000 It's making their ear turn blue and black. 1.00
02:26:12.000 Your skin's fucking falling off. 1.00
02:26:14.000 That's from cocaine? 1.00
02:26:15.000 Yep.
02:26:16.000 Oh my god. 1.00
02:26:17.000 Some people have suffered permanent scarring on their body from this shit. 1.00
02:26:20.000 I got the good shit. 1.00
02:26:22.000 Make your nose fall off. 1.00
02:26:24.000 This message brought to you by Prescription Pills. 1.00
02:26:27.000 What is that shit? 1.00
02:26:28.000 What's it called? 1.00
02:26:29.000 It's called Levamasole.
02:26:31.000 Levamasole?
02:26:32.000 Yeah.
02:26:32.000 L-E-V-A-M-I-S-O-L-E.
02:26:36.000 Levamasole.
02:26:37.000 It's bad for you, kids. 0.99
02:26:38.000 And on that note, I think this fucking podcast started off real strong. 0.99
02:26:41.000 And then somewhere else we lost a lot of steam. 1.00
02:26:44.000 We got into gay porn. 0.99
02:26:45.000 It's always after two hours. 0.99
02:26:47.000 It was my fault. 0.99
02:26:47.000 We got into gay porn and Brian started reminiscing about his girlfriend. 0.99
02:26:50.000 Oh, you guys brought her up. 1.00
02:26:52.000 Look at her pictures.
02:26:56.000 I'm not sure.
02:26:57.000 Somebody will be on the podcast.
02:26:58.000 The guy from Ancient Aliens is coming on the podcast.
02:27:02.000 And he's coming on at the end of July.
02:27:04.000 It'll be July 27th.
02:27:06.000 And his name is Giorgio.
02:27:09.000 And this is a tough one to pronounce.
02:27:12.000 T-S-O-U-K-A-L-O-S. I think the T is silent.
02:27:18.000 Yeah.
02:27:20.000 Giorgio Sucolos.
02:27:21.000 Sucolos, maybe? 0.99
02:27:22.000 Sucolos? 0.94
02:27:23.000 Giorgio Sucolos. 1.00
02:27:24.000 And he's the guy from Ancient Aliens with the crazy hair who's a self-professed, wacky, alien-loving bastard. 0.99
02:27:29.000 Because that's what I called him. 0.99
02:27:30.000 And he said, yes, guilty as charged. 1.00
02:27:32.000 He's cool as fuck. 1.00
02:27:33.000 I like him. 0.99
02:27:34.000 And I'm excited to have him on because we're going to talk about some weird shit. 0.98
02:27:37.000 You should probably be on that one, man. 0.98
02:27:38.000 I would love to ask him questions.
02:27:40.000 Yeah, you should probably be in on that one.
02:27:41.000 That would be a fun conversation.
02:27:42.000 That's July 27th?
02:27:43.000 Yeah, we might have to bring you in on that one.
02:27:44.000 We'd have to bring Eddie Bravo in with the alien dude.
02:27:47.000 I would be honored.
02:27:48.000 Yeah, because no one loves aliens more than you and him. 1.00
02:27:51.000 You and him together would be a fucking tsunami of alien love. 0.99
02:27:57.000 Don't you have aliens all over your logos? 1.00
02:27:59.000 I love aliens, bro.
02:28:00.000 I don't necessarily believe in them.
02:28:01.000 I don't have any aliens in my logos.
02:28:04.000 Well, my whole logo is an alien. 0.99
02:28:05.000 And flying saucers and shit. 1.00
02:28:06.000 Aliens are assholes. 1.00
02:28:07.000 Oh yeah, man. 1.00
02:28:08.000 I'm down.
02:28:09.000 I love the idea.
02:28:10.000 You have more UFO DVDs than I do.
02:28:12.000 Sure.
02:28:12.000 You have like 200 of them.
02:28:14.000 I've got everything.
02:28:15.000 But that's why I don't believe in them.
02:28:17.000 I've seen so much stuff, I think, the way I look at it, and this is not that I don't believe in them, because it's not that I don't believe in them.
02:28:23.000 I don't not believe.
02:28:24.000 I don't believe UFOs don't exist.
02:28:26.000 I don't believe that.
02:28:27.000 My mind is open about it, but I'm not convinced either way. 0.99
02:28:30.000 But the way I look at it is like, everyone's got a goddamn camera on their phone. 0.98
02:28:35.000 Everyone does now. 1.00
02:28:36.000 You would think that if I meet a thousand people, okay, out of every thousand people that I meet, at least ten of them are fucking morons. 1.00
02:28:44.000 Extreme morons, right? 1.00
02:28:45.000 If you meet a thousand, wouldn't you say ten are just complete idiots, pathological liars, completely fucked up, right? 1.00
02:28:52.000 A good solid ten, right? 1.00
02:28:54.000 So I would think that... 1.00
02:28:55.000 If there's that many people that are idiots and fucked up, and then you look at the number of UFO stories, what are the numbers? 1.00
02:29:02.000 The numbers are similar to what you'd expect from a population of retards. 1.00
02:29:07.000 Yeah, but then you look at the smartest people on the planet, you look at the smartest people on the opposite end of the spectrum, Warner Von Braun and Herman Obert, they were rocket scientists.
02:29:17.000 They not only believe in aliens, they're saying our technology came from messages from beings from other solar systems.
02:29:24.000 That's what they're saying.
02:29:25.000 Yeah, I would have to talk to them.
02:29:26.000 That's what they're saying.
02:29:27.000 I believe that.
02:29:28.000 You can get a quote.
02:29:29.000 Go Warner Von Braun, quote, beings from UFO, beings from other worlds.
02:29:37.000 His exact quote is, beings from other worlds helped us Yeah, I've seen that.
02:29:42.000 I've seen that written, but who knows what that really is what he said?
02:29:44.000 You know, it's so hard when a dude's dead and he died in 1977. You know, who the fuck knows what he actually said? 0.98
02:29:51.000 You know? 0.99
02:29:51.000 Well, you know, he's quoted as saying it, so... 0.99
02:29:54.000 Maybe.
02:29:55.000 Yeah, maybe, but...
02:29:57.000 Two different guys?
02:29:59.000 No, I think, look, it is entirely possible.
02:30:01.000 If it's proven that the quote was actually legit, like, yes, here's the video of him actually saying it, then what happens at that point?
02:30:09.000 That's pretty convincing evidence.
02:30:12.000 Maybe, or maybe he's a troll. 0.99
02:30:14.000 Maybe Wernher von Braun is a big Nazi troll. 0.97
02:30:17.000 I mean, the thing about Wernher von Braun is he was the head of NASA, but he was a confirmed Nazi. 0.93
02:30:23.000 And the Simon Wiesenthal Center said if that guy was alive today, They would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. 0.99
02:30:29.000 So who the fuck knows? 0.99
02:30:30.000 He could have been trolling. 0.99
02:30:32.000 But I don't believe that it's impossible.
02:30:35.000 It's definitely possible.
02:30:36.000 So I'm looking forward to having this Giorgio dude on.
02:30:38.000 It should be a fascinating conversation.
02:30:40.000 I want to find out how his brain works, man.
02:30:42.000 Because he says a lot of crazy stuff.
02:30:44.000 I want to know.
02:30:44.000 Yeah, he seems almost like he could be a character.
02:30:48.000 Maybe a little bit.
02:30:49.000 Maybe.
02:30:49.000 Maybe it's fun.
02:30:50.000 Maybe some of it's sexy.
02:30:52.000 Sexy?
02:30:53.000 Yeah, it's sexy.
02:30:53.000 It's sexy to believe in Bigfoot.
02:30:56.000 It's sexy to believe in aliens. 1.00
02:30:57.000 It's sexy to believe in all that shit. 1.00
02:30:59.000 It's interesting. 1.00
02:30:59.000 Who the fuck knows? 1.00
02:31:01.000 But that's coming up. 0.99
02:31:01.000 I don't know who's going to be on tomorrow, but we'll get somebody. 0.99
02:31:04.000 And then maybe Thursday is going to be my friend Jan Ervin.
02:31:07.000 You know Jan, the dude who wrote all the books on mushrooms and religion. 0.99
02:31:12.000 The problem is he's got the flu, and I don't want the fucking flu. 0.98
02:31:15.000 Yeah, let's give him a couple weeks. 0.99
02:31:17.000 He's the guy that turned you on to Terrence McKenna.
02:31:20.000 Yeah, he turned me on to a lot of things.
02:31:22.000 He's a fascinating cat.
02:31:23.000 He's a real odd duck, and he's written two books now on psychedelics and religion.
02:31:29.000 And he was with us when we first did DMT. He was with us when you had that crazy bad trip.
02:31:34.000 The first one was horrible.
02:31:36.000 Yeah, it was pretty bad.
02:31:37.000 Screaming and yelling.
02:31:38.000 Screaming.
02:31:38.000 Throwing up.
02:31:39.000 Eddie fucked up and he ate food right before he went on his trip, which you're never supposed to do. 0.99
02:31:43.000 You're not supposed to have anything in your stomach when you go on the trip because your body kind of freaks out. 0.99
02:31:47.000 So he, in the middle of this trip, Gets up and I have to help him get to the sink and you threw up in the sink.
02:31:54.000 You hurled in the sink.
02:31:55.000 Didn't I throw up all over the floor?
02:31:56.000 No, no, no.
02:31:57.000 You made it to the sink.
02:31:58.000 You made it to the sink.
02:31:59.000 You don't even remember the story that could, right?
02:32:01.000 I don't remember where I threw up.
02:32:03.000 I just don't remember exactly.
02:32:04.000 I thought it was Edie Burgale the whole time, too.
02:32:06.000 I was like, wow, Joe's hanging out with Edie Burgale because whoever wrote this whole story on your message board didn't put Eddie Bravo.
02:32:12.000 Right.
02:32:12.000 That was Jan.
02:32:13.000 Jan changed the names of everything.
02:32:15.000 Yeah, and I thought it was Edie Burgale. 0.99
02:32:16.000 Did Jan change it or was it Johnny Rotten?
02:32:18.000 I think it was Johnny Rotten, maybe.
02:32:19.000 It was either Jan or Johnny Rotten, change the names of everything.
02:32:22.000 I threw up in the sink in your little bar, right?
02:32:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:32:24.000 That's where you threw up.
02:32:25.000 And then I looked up at you, and I remember, because I was screaming, and I was screaming.
02:32:29.000 And I looked up at you, and I'm like, I'm alright, don't worry about me. 0.58
02:32:32.000 And then, like, that was like me letting you know, just let me fucking throw up, let me scream, I'm gonna be fine.
02:32:37.000 Well, the thing about bad trips is the real bad trips happen when you're trying to control the experience.
02:32:42.000 The whole idea is to just let go and let this journey happen.
02:32:46.000 You've got to trust in the psychedelic, but you were fighting it tooth and claw, and it was ugly.
02:32:52.000 That first time was a disaster.
02:32:54.000 Shazam.
02:32:55.000 This Friday night, July 1st, we will all be in Las Vegas, Brian included.
02:33:00.000 So if you want to hug Brian, come on down. 0.99
02:33:02.000 We met this dude who had a fucking Death Squad tattoo. 0.99
02:33:05.000 Your little logo. 1.00
02:33:06.000 This guy had a tattoo.
02:33:07.000 I think there's four people now with it.
02:33:09.000 That's crazy.
02:33:09.000 And there's a few that have the higher primary tattoos, too.
02:33:11.000 And there's a bunch of...
02:33:12.000 How many 10th Planet tattoos are there now?
02:33:14.000 There's a bunch, man. 0.96
02:33:15.000 That's ridiculous. 0.95
02:33:16.000 We're causing people to get ink on their skin. 0.97
02:33:17.000 Running people's skin.
02:33:18.000 No, we're not.
02:33:19.000 The Death Squad tattoo's awesome, man.
02:33:21.000 Making it prettier.
02:33:22.000 This Friday night, we will all be at Mandalay Bay.
02:33:24.000 It's going to be Joey Diaz, Ari Shafir, me, and Doug Benson's going to stop by.
02:33:28.000 He's going to do a guest set.
02:33:29.000 And Brian, if we get him drunk enough, we might push him in front of the microphone.
02:33:33.000 I'm going to push you on at the end, the very end.
02:33:35.000 You're going to come out and talk to the crowd.
02:33:37.000 Do some Q&A. Some Q&A when you're on acid.
02:33:40.000 So that's this Friday night.
02:33:42.000 And then next weekend, we are in Irvine at the Irvine Improv. 0.98
02:33:46.000 And that should be fun as fuck. 0.98
02:33:48.000 It's always fun. 0.99
02:33:49.000 Yeah, Irvine is great.
02:33:50.000 The Irvine weekend is the 8th, 9th, and 10th of July. 0.98
02:33:58.000 So that's it, bitches. 1.00
02:34:00.000 Thanks for tuning in, everybody. 0.98
02:34:02.000 And we will see you all tomorrow.
02:34:04.000 Thank you.
02:34:04.000 And thanks to The Fleshlight.
02:34:05.000 Can I? Yeah, yeah.
02:34:06.000 Sure.
02:34:07.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight.
02:34:10.000 Entering the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. 0.92
02:34:15.000 Go ahead, fella. 0.97
02:34:16.000 Shoot some loads in it, knowing that you have saved a couple dollars.
02:34:19.000 I got a seminar in El Paso, Texas, July 23rd, I think. 1.00
02:34:24.000 That shit's right close to the border, right? 0.97
02:34:26.000 And next week is the 10th Planet Cruise. 0.99
02:34:27.000 I don't know if it's too late, but we're going on a cruise, man.
02:34:31.000 What is this?
02:34:33.000 Next Monday to Friday. 1.00
02:34:35.000 Holy shit. 0.99
02:34:36.000 Where do you start? 0.99
02:34:37.000 Where does it start?
02:34:38.000 I don't know too much about it.
02:34:40.000 Who's organized it?
02:34:41.000 Donna and Amy from Legends.
02:34:43.000 They put it all together.
02:34:44.000 Wow.
02:34:45.000 We got 70 guys going.
02:34:46.000 70 guys. 0.82
02:34:47.000 What are the chances dudes are going to buttfuck each other? 0.91
02:34:50.000 A lot of people are bringing their wives, actually. 0.95
02:34:52.000 A lot of people are bringing their wives.
02:34:53.000 Well, that cuts down a little.
02:34:55.000 Still 50 guys.
02:34:56.000 So that's next Monday.
02:34:59.000 I'm not sure, again, if it's too late or not, but if you go to 10thplanetjj.com on the forum, there's information up there.
02:35:05.000 And also 10thplanetcruise.com, I think.
02:35:07.000 Dude, that sounds fucking awesome.
02:35:09.000 That's going to be fun, man.
02:35:10.000 Are you scared that anybody might freak out that someone taps somebody and then they just throw them overboard?
02:35:14.000 Can you imagine being on that cruise with your wife?
02:35:16.000 Like, hey, happy anniversary! 1.00
02:35:17.000 Oh, what the fuck is going on here? 1.00
02:35:19.000 70 train killers. 1.00
02:35:20.000 I'm going to teach a seminar.
02:35:22.000 Danny's going to teach seminars.
02:35:23.000 On the boat.
02:35:24.000 On the boat.
02:35:24.000 We're going to have seminars on the boat.
02:35:26.000 It's like the Gracie thing.
02:35:27.000 We didn't invent this.
02:35:28.000 The Gracie's.
02:35:28.000 Oh, the Gracie's do a Gracie cruise?
02:35:29.000 Yep.
02:35:30.000 They have a Gracie cruise.
02:35:31.000 Wow.
02:35:31.000 We need to do a Desquad cruise.
02:35:33.000 How cool would that be?
02:35:34.000 Yeah, I don't want to go on a boat and be stuck.
02:35:37.000 Be scared.
02:35:38.000 What if there's some weirdos on the boat and they know where your cabin is and knock on?
02:35:42.000 Eddie, can I... You gotta get the VIP suite.
02:35:45.000 VIP suite.
02:35:46.000 Alright, folks.
02:35:47.000 Thank you, Mr. Bravo.
02:35:48.000 Follow Eddie on Twitter.
02:35:49.000 Eddie Bravo on Twitter.
02:35:51.000 E-D-D-I-E. Bravo.
02:35:53.000 Just how it's spelled.
02:35:54.000 You know how it works.
02:35:55.000 Brian is Red Band.
02:35:56.000 And you can also subscribe to the Red...
02:35:58.000 The Death Squad series of podcasts that Brian hosts on iTunes.
02:36:02.000 It's called Death Squad, and it's Sam Tripoli's podcast, Tom Segura's podcast, Ari Shafir's podcast, and a bunch of other different ones.
02:36:10.000 Every now and then they're throwing in new ones into the mix, but they're very entertaining and fun, especially if you're into liquid ass and people sticking fingers in other people's fleshlights.
02:36:19.000 Thank you, everybody.
02:36:20.000 See you tomorrow.