The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1232 - Nick Di Paolo

00:00:01.000 I have a lot of friends that are fall off crazies.

00:00:06.000 Boom! 0.99

00:00:06.000 And we're live, Nick DiPaolo. 0.99

00:00:08.000 Yeah, baby.

00:00:08.000 How are you live?

00:00:09.000 Good.

00:00:09.000 Good to see you, my friend.

00:00:11.000 I can't believe the gym out there.

00:00:12.000 It's nice, right?

00:00:13.000 With a Porsche park next to it.

00:00:15.000 You've got to be able to work out where you work.

00:00:16.000 If you do that, you get more in.

00:00:18.000 Next to your Porsche.

00:00:19.000 Yeah.

00:00:20.000 Two bad things aren't working out well for you, Joe.

00:00:22.000 I see what you're doing.

00:00:23.000 I'm not doing anything.

00:00:25.000 I'm right up front.

00:00:26.000 So we were talking before the podcast, and I said, save this, because it's hilarious.

00:00:30.000 Randy Credico, who's a stand-up comedian, Has been involved in this Roger Stone thing?

00:00:37.000 Yes.

00:00:38.000 As you know, Roger Stone this morning, the FBI raided, you know, took him out of his house.

00:00:42.000 Who I love.

00:00:44.000 Roger Stone interviewed me on Infowars.

00:00:46.000 He used to love my radio show on Sirius.

00:00:49.000 Yeah, they asked me to get him on, and I was like, eh, I think I'm going to duck that one. 1.00

00:00:54.000 But he's fucking eccentric and crazy. 1.00

00:00:57.000 He's a loon. 1.00

00:00:58.000 Yeah, and so is Randy, and they've known each other forever.

00:01:02.000 And are they friends?

00:01:04.000 Well, they were.

00:01:05.000 Really? 1.00

00:01:05.000 Until all this shit started. 1.00

00:01:07.000 And, uh... 1.00

00:01:09.000 Oh, it's fucking classic. 0.99

00:01:10.000 Randy Credico's radical left... 0.99

00:01:12.000 He used to do...

00:01:13.000 He did a comedy album years ago.

00:01:16.000 Yeah.

00:01:17.000 It was him and a bunch of other guys, and it was all political.

00:01:23.000 It was like five guys or three...

00:01:26.000 A few guys.

00:01:27.000 I forget how many guys.

00:01:28.000 I think Crimmins was on it.

00:01:29.000 Oh, sure.

00:01:30.000 It was Credico.

00:01:31.000 Yeah.

00:01:31.000 And, uh...

00:01:33.000 Maybe Jimmy Tingle?

00:01:34.000 Yep.

00:01:35.000 Yeah, and they had like a whole thing they were doing, almost like a tour.

00:01:40.000 You know, like super left-wing, politically aware. 0.98

00:01:44.000 This is fucking way back in the day. 0.97

00:01:47.000 I want to say this is the 90s they were doing this. 0.98

00:01:49.000 Yeah.

00:01:50.000 Yeah, I mean, he was always funny. 0.99

00:01:52.000 I mean, I'd watch him die every night at the Catch Rising Star, because he'd be up there doing such inside political shit. 0.99

00:01:59.000 He'd be talking about a bill that was passed that day on the floor, or whatever the fuck, and the crowd would be staring at him. 0.99

00:02:04.000 And he had a hot Asian girlfriend. 0.99

00:02:06.000 And he'd be dying up there.

00:02:07.000 This is when I fell in love with him.

00:02:08.000 And he goes, that's my girlfriend over there. 0.97

00:02:11.000 I taught her four words in English.

00:02:13.000 Not you. 1.00

00:02:14.000 Crowd suck. 1.00

00:02:18.000 I mean, he was really fucking funny. 1.00

00:02:21.000 But so political and inside. 0.98

00:02:23.000 He stayed at my apartment when I lived out here in L.A. And he fucking tried to pick up my wife after I left. 0.93

00:02:29.000 I had to go on the road somewhere. 0.95

00:02:30.000 But I still love him. 1.00

00:02:31.000 He's fucking crazy. 1.00

00:02:32.000 But he... 0.99

00:02:34.000 He sent me a picture of him, 2016, in front of the embassy in London, where, what's his name was held up?

00:02:42.000 Assange.

00:02:43.000 Really?

00:02:43.000 Yes!

00:02:44.000 And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? 1.00

00:02:46.000 What's he doing out there? 1.00

00:02:47.000 And then all that shit came out about WikiLeaks and stuff. 0.98

00:02:49.000 So they thought he might have been the intermediary. 0.97

00:02:53.000 Yeah, so he's gone in front of...

00:02:55.000 For Roger Stone?

00:02:55.000 He's gone in front of Mueller a couple times.

00:02:58.000 And so...

00:03:00.000 There it is right here.

00:03:01.000 Who is Randy Credico?

00:03:03.000 Roger Stone threatened to take away...

00:03:04.000 The guy stayed in my apartment!

00:03:06.000 ...associate's dog if he cooperated with Russia Investigate.

00:03:09.000 What?

00:03:10.000 He threatened to take away his dog? 1.00

00:03:12.000 Oh, fucking, you gotta read the text that Roger Stone, they're public, I think, would send to Randy. 1.00

00:03:16.000 I'm gonna take your dog? 1.00

00:03:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:18.000 He goes, let's get it on.

00:03:19.000 Be prepared to die. 1.00

00:03:22.000 I'm gonna take your fucking, that's why I love this guy. 1.00

00:03:24.000 This guy had a Nixon tattoo when he was 18 on his back. 1.00

00:03:27.000 Roger Stone did?

00:03:28.000 Yeah.

00:03:28.000 Yes!

00:03:28.000 He marched in the gay parade in New York.

00:03:30.000 I fucking love him. 1.00

00:03:31.000 He's nuts. 1.00

00:03:32.000 Why'd he march in the gay parade in New York? 1.00

00:03:33.000 Is he pro-gay rights?

00:03:34.000 Well, he's pro just, yeah, you know, express yourself.

00:03:37.000 So he's just all over the place.

00:03:38.000 He's all over the place.

00:03:39.000 But he's a right, I mean, he had a Nixon tattoo. 0.99

00:03:41.000 He's a fucking right wing. 0.98

00:03:42.000 But all the right wing people to get, look at this. 1.00

00:03:45.000 Look, look, look. 0.99

00:03:46.000 That is so ridiculous. 0.98

00:03:49.000 That's a good tattoo, too. 0.98

00:03:51.000 I know.

00:03:52.000 And that guy's 60-something years old.

00:03:54.000 At least.

00:03:54.000 And he loved my radio show on Sirius, and he hosted InfoWars about six months ago.

00:04:00.000 He had me on as a guest when I got punched in the face by that broad. 1.00

00:04:03.000 Oh, that's right.

00:04:04.000 I forgot about that.

00:04:05.000 So, yeah, they raided the FBI, raided his house, took him out today.

00:04:09.000 And he got out on $250,000 bond.

00:04:12.000 And he wanted Credico...

00:04:16.000 You know, to stop contesting what Stone said in front of when he testified.

00:04:22.000 So Stone said one thing.

00:04:23.000 That's not how it went down. 0.99

00:04:24.000 So they're fighting and shit. 0.98

00:04:26.000 And then he's threatening them. 0.95

00:04:29.000 So I text Randy today.

00:04:32.000 I go, I'm doing Rogan.

00:04:33.000 I mean, if you want to weigh in.

00:04:35.000 And he's like, well, call me before the show or let me know.

00:04:38.000 He goes, there's not too much I can say right now.

00:04:40.000 But what's funny is I know both these guys.

00:04:43.000 Which is so weird.

00:04:44.000 That's so weird.

00:04:45.000 And he said, yeah, let me know.

00:04:46.000 He goes, I can't say much because they just arrested the FBI. They're going to turn, they're trying to, I see what Mueller's doing.

00:04:53.000 He's turning Roger Stone against Trump.

00:04:56.000 Trump is the target.

00:04:57.000 Yes.

00:04:57.000 So he's going to threaten him with, you know, he's 60-something years old, so he can spend the rest of his life in prison or talk.

00:05:02.000 Yeah.

00:05:03.000 You know?

00:05:03.000 Well, he's doing that with everybody.

00:05:04.000 He's a scary guy, Mueller.

00:05:06.000 If you had a problem and that guy was coming after you, like, oh my God.

00:05:11.000 Because he's going to do it slow.

00:05:13.000 Like, by the time this actually gets to Trump, he's going to be...

00:05:17.000 I don't think they do that slow.

00:05:18.000 They do whatever they want.

00:05:20.000 I think that's different than what you're thinking.

00:05:23.000 Anyway...

00:05:25.000 By the time they get to Trump, he's already so nerve-wracked.

00:05:29.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:05:30.000 Because he chips away at his borders.

00:05:33.000 Slowly but surely takes away all the people around him.

00:05:36.000 He gets closer.

00:05:37.000 And you know he's concentrating on the family.

00:05:41.000 You know he is.

00:05:41.000 Of course.

00:05:42.000 That's what he does.

00:05:43.000 And he even does that with people like Stone.

00:05:46.000 He'll go after your family and stuff.

00:05:47.000 You notice you never hear a word out of Ivanka anymore?

00:05:50.000 No, exactly.

00:05:51.000 Yeah.

00:05:52.000 Yeah.

00:05:53.000 Guarantee you.

00:05:54.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:05:54.000 Guarantee you they scared the fuck out of her. 0.95

00:05:56.000 But if you want to know about Mueller, like you said, and how fucking creepy he is, he was the head of the FBI during the 80s when the Whitey Bulger shit went down. 0.99

00:06:03.000 Whoa. 0.98

00:06:04.000 Yeah, and he put four guys in prison.

00:06:06.000 Listen to this, Joe, and you can look this up.

00:06:08.000 This is amazing.

00:06:09.000 Four guys he put in prison.

00:06:13.000 Wrongly, it turns out, two of them died in prison.

00:06:16.000 Whoa.

00:06:17.000 Yeah, you can Google it.

00:06:18.000 Because of Bulger?

00:06:19.000 It had to do with that, yes.

00:06:20.000 Because they would do things and the FBI would let them get away with it because they were providing information.

00:06:25.000 That's right.

00:06:26.000 That was the whole Bulger thing. 1.00

00:06:27.000 That's exactly right.

00:06:28.000 And two guys died in prison, wrongly, by the way. 0.99

00:06:32.000 This guy's not a fucking good guy. 1.00

00:06:33.000 I know he's a Marine, a decorated Marine and shit. 1.00

00:06:35.000 They make those sacrifices. 0.99

00:06:37.000 They make those decisions where they're just going to help a person who's a criminal because that criminal is providing information that can allow them to get more criminals.

00:06:45.000 Well, yeah. 0.99

00:06:46.000 Whitey was providing all kinds of shit about the guineas in East Boston. 0.99

00:06:51.000 That was a great movie, too, by the way. 0.99

00:06:53.000 You know, I used to train a guy who was one of Whitey's hitmen. 0.98

00:06:56.000 Dana White?

00:06:57.000 No, no, no.

00:06:58.000 Dana White got threatened.

00:07:00.000 He had to move out of town.

00:07:01.000 It was Bulger, wasn't it?

00:07:02.000 Bulger-related. 0.90

00:07:03.000 Yes, it was Bulger-related.

00:07:05.000 When I was teaching Taekwondo, I had one of the guys that was in my class that was whacking people for Whitey Bulger. 1.00

00:07:10.000 He was asking me, if you want to kill somebody with your bare hands, where would you hit them?

00:07:13.000 I was like, uh, the neck? 0.96

00:07:15.000 I was like 18. I was like, I don't know.

00:07:16.000 And he goes, correct, Joe.

00:07:17.000 I was like, good.

00:07:18.000 Yeah, I like that.

00:07:19.000 Who was it, Kevin?

00:07:20.000 No, no, no.

00:07:21.000 But, you know, Kevin, you know, he went away, too.

00:07:24.000 Another tough kid.

00:07:25.000 Yeah, all related.

00:07:27.000 All of them together.

00:07:28.000 You know, this guy was a different guy.

00:07:30.000 This guy was, he went away, too.

00:07:32.000 But, I mean, he went away forever.

00:07:34.000 He was one of those guys.

00:07:35.000 Like, they caught him with blood under his fingernail.

00:07:37.000 And he was working with Whitey? 0.98

00:07:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:39.000 Well, there's a lot of guys that were.

00:07:40.000 I mean, it was a big organization.

00:07:42.000 When we were kids, I mean, everybody knew.

00:07:45.000 It was a big organization. 0.98

00:07:46.000 I mean, it wasn't a fucking secret. 0.99

00:07:48.000 Oh, no. 0.99

00:07:48.000 Oh, I know. 0.99

00:07:49.000 How did Hannity's attempt to link Mueller to Whitey Bulger hold up?

00:07:52.000 This article in the Boston Globe says that's not true.

00:07:55.000 Whatever.

00:07:55.000 It's the FBI. He wasn't there.

00:07:58.000 He wasn't there?

00:07:58.000 He wasn't there then.

00:07:59.000 Oh, he wasn't at the FBI. He corrupted his handlers.

00:08:20.000 I love it.

00:08:46.000 Yeah, I would hear.

00:08:48.000 Yeah, he was captured in Santa Monica.

00:08:51.000 I know.

00:08:51.000 So, when did Mueller...

00:08:53.000 It says, did Mueller know the four men have been wrongly convicted and looked the other way?

00:08:57.000 There's nothing linking Mueller to that case.

00:09:00.000 According to several attorneys, for the men, voluminous court records, and a former federal judge who presided over their wrongful imprisonment trial.

00:09:08.000 In 2007, the U.S. District Judge Nancy... 1.00

00:09:12.000 Gertner found the FBI deliberately withheld evidence that the four men were innocent.

00:09:17.000 The Bureau helped cover up the injustice for... 1.00

00:09:20.000 Jesus Christ, I fucking hate reading shit like that. 0.99

00:09:22.000 She ordered the government to pay the men and their families $101.7 million. 1.00

00:09:27.000 Okay, maybe worth it.

00:09:29.000 How long did you guys go away for?

00:09:32.000 Let's be honest.

00:09:33.000 You were never going to make a hundred million.

00:09:35.000 That's chicken scratch to you.

00:09:36.000 If they all got a hundred million, if every one of them got a hundred million, I mean, I'm in.

00:09:40.000 I mean, how much time do you have to do? 0.98

00:09:42.000 How many times do you get fucked while you're in jail? 0.98

00:09:44.000 How bad is it? 1.00

00:09:45.000 Per load. 1.00

00:09:47.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:09:48.000 So, maybe it was just a rumor that he was a part of that. 1.00

00:09:51.000 Well, like you said, though, that's the FBI. As soon as the story broke, I'm sure they called the paper and said, listen, get your facts straight.

00:09:56.000 Well, how crazy is it that the FBI covered up the information and knew those guys were innocent?

00:10:01.000 That is dark.

00:10:02.000 Who went to jail for that?

00:10:04.000 Did the guys who covered it up go to jail?

00:10:06.000 I'm not sure.

00:10:09.000 But two of them died.

00:10:11.000 They died in jail?

00:10:13.000 Two of them died in jail. 1.00

00:10:16.000 When Whitey Bulger was out here, you know they caught him because his wife was yelling and shit all the time? 0.99

00:10:20.000 Yeah, she was Coco. 1.00

00:10:22.000 He had fucking cash on the walls and shit. 1.00

00:10:24.000 Did he? 1.00

00:10:24.000 I used to sell meat door to door before I started comedy, and I used to go to fucking Winter Hill, not knowing where I was. 1.00

00:10:31.000 Really? 0.99

00:10:31.000 And I would wonder why people would take out my shit and they'd go, that breaks down like 40 bucks a pound, get the fuck out. 0.99

00:10:38.000 And then somebody explained to me, you know, Winter Hill is like Whitey Bulger's. 1.00

00:10:42.000 Wow.

00:10:44.000 So you were selling meat in his neighborhood?

00:10:46.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:10:46.000 Fucking same in East Boston. 0.99

00:10:48.000 I knocked on the door a couple of guys in Revere that were like fucking connected. 0.99

00:10:52.000 My buddy Al knew who they were and shit later on. 0.98

00:10:54.000 Well, they probably knew people from meatpacking. 0.99

00:10:56.000 They probably got it right off the boats.

00:10:57.000 No, of course.

00:10:58.000 Of course. 1.00

00:10:59.000 And I'm doing my little spiel there for a boiler, you know, a fucking boiler room operation. 0.99

00:11:04.000 Oh, you break it down per meal. 0.99

00:11:05.000 It comes out there three bucks a meal.

00:11:06.000 And they're doing the math in the head.

00:11:08.000 You could tell they were like bookies, you know.

00:11:10.000 They're like, that's like 40 bucks a pound. 1.00

00:11:12.000 Get the fuck off my steps. 0.99

00:11:13.000 It wasn't really that much? 1.00

00:11:14.000 No, but it was ridiculous, you know. 0.82

00:11:17.000 And I was in Rhode Island banging doors, and I got the same response.

00:11:22.000 And I looked down, I see in the streets, the lines on the streets are red, white, and green.

00:11:26.000 I was in Federal Hill in Providence, where the mafia started.

00:11:29.000 Look at that article.

00:11:31.000 Look at this.

00:11:32.000 Whitey Bulger's Santa Monica hideout was full of money.

00:11:34.000 It still brims with mystery.

00:11:35.000 He was living in like a normal apartment.

00:11:37.000 I know.

00:11:38.000 So weird.

00:11:39.000 He had $822,000 in cash and valuables.

00:11:43.000 Wow.

00:11:44.000 Jesus Christ.

00:11:45.000 I like that movie.

00:11:46.000 I thought Johnny Depp was great in it.

00:11:47.000 Yeah, he was.

00:11:48.000 He was great in it.

00:11:49.000 Yeah.

00:11:50.000 That's a creepy dude.

00:11:51.000 Yeah, he was as creepy as they get.

00:11:52.000 It's just amazing how much corruption was involved in that case.

00:11:55.000 Yes.

00:11:56.000 Which federal government was a part of it, and they let that monster, they let him thrive.

00:12:01.000 Yeah.

00:12:02.000 Yeah.

00:12:03.000 So it makes you wonder about the FBI today.

00:12:05.000 Well, it should make you wonder about...

00:12:06.000 It just shows what they're capable of.

00:12:07.000 Yeah.

00:12:08.000 Let's put it that way.

00:12:09.000 Whenever you're doing that, whenever you're allowing someone to commit murder and deal drugs to get other people that are committing murder and dealing drugs, it's like, what?

00:12:17.000 Yeah.

00:12:17.000 Because they would just want...

00:12:18.000 Look, what happens with cops...

00:12:21.000 This is very unfortunate, but this is just what happens when you have a game.

00:12:26.000 And the game is arrest people.

00:12:27.000 The game is win, right?

00:12:29.000 You have a certain amount of collars you have to make.

00:12:31.000 And if you can make more collars because you're in bed with a bad guy, especially if maybe you grew up in that neighborhood and it's always been kind of an accepted part of that neighborhood.

00:12:39.000 That guy Conley grew up with one.

00:12:41.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:12:42.000 He makes a sneaky little deal.

00:12:44.000 Yeah?

00:12:45.000 Oof.

00:12:46.000 Well, same with lawyers. 0.84

00:12:48.000 It's like sports.

00:12:49.000 You have to have a winning record.

00:12:50.000 You're not going to succeed.

00:12:51.000 So they play outside the rules.

00:12:55.000 I mean, that's one of the reasons why cops and people have such a weird relationship, because they're always looking to arrest people.

00:12:59.000 And your cops talk, and you're like, ah, don't put me on your record.

00:13:03.000 Come on.

00:13:04.000 Yeah.

00:13:05.000 And they just want, maybe I can get you for something.

00:13:07.000 Yeah.

00:13:07.000 I gotta get somebody.

00:13:08.000 No, I know.

00:13:09.000 When they have quotas, like when you have quote, like what would the police force do if nobody broke crimes anymore? 0.98

00:13:16.000 That make shit up. 0.95

00:13:18.000 What would they do? 0.98

00:13:19.000 Like legitimately, if they really do have quotas.

00:13:21.000 But that would never happen, Jim.

00:13:22.000 It would never happen.

00:13:23.000 But what if everybody got on mushrooms and the world got cleaned up?

00:13:27.000 Is that the solution?

00:13:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:28.000 The world got cleaned up.

00:13:29.000 I was wondering how long it would take to get there.

00:13:31.000 Not much.

00:13:32.000 Not much time.

00:13:32.000 A couple years.

00:13:33.000 A couple years.

00:13:34.000 No, I mean in the conversation.

00:13:35.000 Mushrooms.

00:13:36.000 I got some right here if you want some.

00:13:37.000 Dude, I can't even handle regular mushrooms. 0.99

00:13:39.000 Fucking champ. 0.99

00:13:40.000 Shiitake make me crazy. 1.00

00:13:42.000 I don't know how you do that shit. 1.00

00:13:44.000 We had that discussion. 1.00

00:13:46.000 DMT and fucking... 1.00

00:13:47.000 A thick portobello. 1.00

00:13:48.000 Nice glaze.

00:13:49.000 A demi-glaze on it.

00:13:51.000 Yeah.

00:13:52.000 It just, the whole, I mean, the Mueller thing is very, it's very interesting.

00:13:56.000 It's very interesting because you're watching a professional, like, cast a web.

00:14:01.000 Like, nice and slow.

00:14:02.000 Yeah.

00:14:03.000 Nice and slow.

00:14:04.000 It's the full force of the FBI against you.

00:14:06.000 And if they'll do it against a Roger Stone, like you said, they'll do, you know.

00:14:10.000 Yeah.

00:14:11.000 It's creepy.

00:14:11.000 Well, Jamie said they opened up the government today to distract from the fact that Roger Stone got arrested.

00:14:16.000 Most likely.

00:14:17.000 I think you're right.

00:14:18.000 I think that's a good assessment.

00:14:21.000 I guess...

00:14:22.000 I mean, Trump's the final target, so...

00:14:25.000 But yeah, he's gonna threaten Stone with, you know...

00:14:29.000 He's like 66. Threatens him with 10 years, he's probably gonna...

00:14:33.000 Yeah, he's gonna sing. 0.99

00:14:34.000 There's enough to fucking make him sing. 0.99

00:14:36.000 Sing a song. 1.00

00:14:38.000 Sing a song.

00:14:40.000 Like Dershowitz says, they don't just sing.

00:14:44.000 How did Dershowitz put it?

00:14:45.000 They actually come up with the lyrics they create.

00:14:47.000 They don't just sing.

00:14:49.000 What do you think is going to happen to Trump, if you had to guess?

00:14:54.000 As far as this investigation?

00:14:56.000 Nothing.

00:14:57.000 Really?

00:14:58.000 Pass that coffee over here.

00:14:59.000 Thank you.

00:15:01.000 Thanks, brother.

00:15:02.000 Why do you think nothing's going to happen?

00:15:04.000 Well, that's not true. 0.95

00:15:05.000 I shouldn't say that only because I think Mueller's pretty fucking evil and will come up with something. 0.96

00:15:10.000 Well, you know, what, impeachment at the worst? 0.97

00:15:15.000 But where's the high crimes and misdemeanors?

00:15:18.000 Well, if there was obstruction of justice, if there was collusion, if there was any sort of...

00:15:24.000 If they can prove that there was some sort of concerted effort to undermine democracy.

00:15:29.000 I don't think they'll get them.

00:15:33.000 Even with Roger Stone, they're not charging him with collusion or conspiracy.

00:15:38.000 Just lying and covering up.

00:15:40.000 They don't have them for collusion or conspiracy.

00:15:43.000 They're lying covering up the interactions with Russians, right? 0.98

00:15:47.000 Is that what it is?

00:15:47.000 I guess that would be Mueller's angle, yeah.

00:15:50.000 You know, Jamie was talking about something yesterday, and I started listening to this recent Sam Harris podcast, and it is fucking fascinating how much...

00:16:00.000 We're good to go.

00:16:18.000 Was it, Jim?

00:16:19.000 It was a blogger in Brazil.

00:16:21.000 When CNN looked into it, they just kind of asked Twitter, what's going on with this account?

00:16:25.000 And by the time they'd asked them, they just suspended the account, so it's gone.

00:16:29.000 But you said they suspended the account because the account was a fake account.

00:16:32.000 Yeah, they thought it was posing as a California teacher.

00:16:37.000 Yeah, her name's Talia. 0.97

00:16:39.000 But it was an actual blogger in Brazil.

00:16:43.000 Oh, so it was Brazil.

00:16:43.000 It wasn't Russian.

00:16:44.000 No.

00:16:45.000 I wasn't sure.

00:16:46.000 No.

00:16:47.000 I just was sort of saying, like, it went into a fake account of some...

00:16:50.000 But yes, they saw some seeds of...

00:16:52.000 Yeah, well, they're trying to get people against each other.

00:16:55.000 Of course.

00:16:55.000 Like, they're doing that in America.

00:16:56.000 Like, people need to understand that this is actually really happening.

00:16:59.000 Well, do we need their help, really?

00:17:00.000 Well, we do.

00:17:01.000 To turn against each other?

00:17:02.000 Do we need the Russians' help? 1.00

00:17:03.000 Well, if you stop and think about it, has there ever been a time where the left and the right were more at each other's throats than right now?

00:17:08.000 CNN's enough.

00:17:08.000 You don't need Russia.

00:17:12.000 But is CNN enough to really get people turned against each other like this? 0.99

00:17:16.000 No fucking way. 0.98

00:17:16.000 You need angry discourse online. 0.98

00:17:19.000 And the way that comes from, there's an amazing Radiolab podcast about this where they talk to people that actually worked in these troll farms.

00:17:28.000 And that these people, they would both be left-wing and right-wing.

00:17:32.000 And this is one of the things that they're talking about on the Sam Harris podcast.

00:17:36.000 I think it's called War of Information.

00:17:40.000 But... 1.00

00:17:41.000 They'll pose as, like, pro-choice people and say ridiculous shit. 1.00

00:17:45.000 Like, over-the-top, ridiculous. 0.99

00:17:47.000 And then they'll pose as pro-life people with, like, an American flag and, you know, MAGA in the, you know, the hashtag MAGA and their heading. 0.74

00:17:56.000 But they have nothing to do with that.

00:17:57.000 They're just Russians. 0.99

00:17:58.000 And they're just trying to get people riled up.

00:18:01.000 And you see people jump on board and start chiming in.

00:18:04.000 But I was talking to a comic that we were talking about that I won't bring his name up.

00:18:10.000 But he referred me to this Russian guy.

00:18:14.000 I'm not going to remember his name, but this is a clip of this Russian guy who worked for the KGB, defected over here, and he was explaining how Russia does that.

00:18:23.000 And this was back in the 80s.

00:18:24.000 Well, we do it, too.

00:18:26.000 Everybody does it.

00:18:26.000 They all do it.

00:18:28.000 Everybody does it. 0.99

00:18:29.000 They fuck with the system in any way, shape, or form in order to achieve a desired result. 0.99

00:18:34.000 I think the Russians are the best at it, apparently. 0.99

00:18:37.000 Well, I just think they're way more dedicated to it.

00:18:39.000 I mean, it's a sneaky way to go about doing things, too, because Russia doesn't have the kind of money that the United States has.

00:18:48.000 Their economy is the size of Texas.

00:18:51.000 All they have is nuclear weapons.

00:18:54.000 Almost like a third world...

00:18:56.000 And a brutal dictator.

00:18:57.000 And a dictator.

00:18:58.000 That's all it takes, but as far as... 0.62

00:19:00.000 The economy and everything, they're like a third world shithole.

00:19:03.000 Yeah, well, they're like a small European country.

00:19:05.000 But it's really interesting when you listen to these podcasts about how much effort they put into sowing discourse, or discord, to getting people upset with each other, to starting arguments, and to saying things that are going to upset people in order to get the right versus the left.

00:19:20.000 To undermine democracy from the inside.

00:19:23.000 It's really interesting.

00:19:26.000 I mean, it's weird that it works.

00:19:28.000 But it makes sense that it works. 0.64

00:19:30.000 It's a sneaky-ass strategy.

00:19:36.000 You think CNN does just as good a job? 1.00

00:19:38.000 They're fucking horrible. 1.00

00:19:39.000 But you're so right-wing. 1.00

00:19:41.000 I'm not so right-wing, John.

00:19:43.000 How right-wing?

00:19:44.000 Far-right?

00:19:45.000 Middle-right?

00:19:46.000 Center?

00:19:47.000 Right-of-center?

00:19:48.000 Right-of-center.

00:19:51.000 What's wrong with CNN? Do you like it?

00:19:54.000 First of all, I don't need to hear it in every fucking airport before I'm doing a gig. 0.99

00:19:58.000 The last fucking words I want to hear were Wolf Blitzer before my plane crashes. 0.99

00:20:02.000 Somebody told me Wolf Blitzer got on Jeopardy and they exposed him. 1.00

00:20:05.000 Yes, I remember reading that, too.

00:20:07.000 Because, you know, people get on television, they read off a teleprompter, you think they're brilliant.

00:20:12.000 They seem brilliant.

00:20:14.000 They seem so smart.

00:20:15.000 Then you get them alone.

00:20:17.000 How about Louie goes on Jeopardy and wins?

00:20:20.000 What, Louis C.K.? Yeah.

00:20:21.000 Did he?

00:20:22.000 Yeah.

00:20:22.000 Remember they have celebrities on once in a while?

00:20:24.000 When did he do that?

00:20:25.000 A couple years ago.

00:20:26.000 Did he go on with regular people and win?

00:20:27.000 I forget who he's against.

00:20:28.000 I think it was other famous people.

00:20:30.000 That makes sense.

00:20:31.000 Remember Jonathan Groff?

00:20:33.000 Yeah.

00:20:33.000 Oh, he's very smart.

00:20:34.000 Well, do you remember he went on Jeopardy?

00:20:36.000 Against regular people.

00:20:37.000 Won for a long time.

00:20:38.000 And he won the tournament.

00:20:38.000 He won the whole tournament.

00:20:40.000 A comic.

00:20:41.000 Yeah.

00:20:41.000 So, folks, don't take us lightly.

00:20:43.000 Does he still write for, there he is, Wolf Blitzer, minus $4,000, you dumbass. 0.99

00:20:50.000 Yeah, it didn't work out so well. 1.00

00:20:52.000 That's fucking funny. 0.98

00:20:54.000 That is hilarious. 0.99

00:20:55.000 Well, you know, people can pretend to be smart, you know?

00:20:58.000 You read off the teleprompter, they give you the script, you know?

00:21:01.000 But was Jonathan Groff, does he still write for Conan?

00:21:05.000 That's a good question.

00:21:06.000 I don't know. 0.97

00:21:09.000 But he was fucking really, really bright. 0.89

00:21:11.000 Funny guy, too. 0.97

00:21:12.000 And really funny.

00:21:13.000 Yeah.

00:21:14.000 I don't think he does stand-up anymore, though.

00:21:15.000 I think he just writes.

00:21:16.000 That's how smart he is.

00:21:17.000 He's like, enough of this.

00:21:20.000 Nonsense. 0.82

00:21:21.000 This jokey joke nonsense.

00:21:22.000 Enough is enough.

00:21:23.000 I'm starting to feel that way.

00:21:26.000 But why do you hate CNN? Oh, come on.

00:21:29.000 All the fucking shit they put out there. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Just an example. 1.00

00:21:33.000 How about when Donna Brazile had the notes for Hillary before the fucking Bernie? 1.00

00:21:38.000 Yes. 0.99

00:21:39.000 Remember that?

00:21:40.000 Wasn't that enough to discredit the CNN? Yes, she was a pundit. 0.74

00:21:43.000 Right.

00:21:43.000 And they still had her on.

00:21:44.000 That's what's ridiculous, that they had her on after that.

00:21:47.000 Yeah, still.

00:21:48.000 That they told her what the questions were going to be.

00:21:49.000 Yeah.

00:21:50.000 Yeah.

00:21:50.000 Well, her book was amazing, though.

00:21:52.000 What's interesting is they fucked her over, and then she came out with a book. 0.99

00:21:55.000 And ripped them. 0.99

00:21:56.000 Ooh, that book is dark.

00:21:57.000 I haven't.

00:21:58.000 I haven't read it yet.

00:21:59.000 I've only read passages of it, but what I read about how they rigged the DNC, how they fucked Bernie out of the primaries.

00:22:06.000 Yeah.

00:22:07.000 Yeah.

00:22:07.000 Oof.

00:22:09.000 Oof.

00:22:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:10.000 Bernie gets screwed. 1.00

00:22:11.000 It's a dark business. 0.99

00:22:14.000 It's all the same.

00:22:15.000 They're all in cahoots.

00:22:17.000 But you don't think the mainstream media is sort of like a propaganda arm for the Democratic Party?

00:22:22.000 Well, they definitely think they're working for the good.

00:22:28.000 But it's 93% negative coverage with Trump.

00:22:31.000 Trump is an unusually polarizing figure.

00:22:34.000 Sure.

00:22:35.000 I mean, was it that way with...

00:22:37.000 Well, I guess I was probably pretty negative with Bush.

00:22:39.000 Always!

00:22:40.000 But it was a different world back then.

00:22:41.000 No, it was, but they always, since I've been a kid... 1.00

00:22:44.000 I mean, Reagan was a dummy and just a fucking B-actor and an idiot and a racist. 1.00

00:22:48.000 You can look at this shit year after year. 1.00

00:22:51.000 That's true. 1.00

00:22:51.000 George Bush Sr., George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, war monger. 1.00

00:22:56.000 It's the same shit. 1.00

00:22:57.000 Racist, bigot, racist. 1.00

00:22:58.000 And it works. 1.00

00:22:59.000 And Ford.

00:22:59.000 It works.

00:23:00.000 Ford was a moron. 1.00

00:23:01.000 And Ford was... 1.00

00:23:02.000 Remember how he was portrayed on SNL? Yeah, he was always falling down.

00:23:04.000 He couldn't walk through...

00:23:05.000 Which was kind of true, actually.

00:23:07.000 And he was an athlete.

00:23:09.000 But it's always been that way.

00:23:11.000 The mainstream media has always sort of been more liberal.

00:23:15.000 Right, but then you have Fox News, which goes far the other way.

00:23:18.000 Well, there are opinion shows, but at least when you watch Fox News, which everybody who hates Fox News never watches it, number one, but they at least have liberals on. 0.99

00:23:27.000 And Shepard Smith fucking hates... 1.00

00:23:29.000 Yes, he does. 1.00

00:23:30.000 Because he looks like every guy that bullied him as a kid.

00:23:32.000 Do you think that's why he hates him?

00:23:33.000 Yeah, I do.

00:23:34.000 That's it?

00:23:35.000 The only reason.

00:23:36.000 Yeah, I do.

00:23:37.000 That's the reason most of them hate him.

00:23:40.000 Here's what they don't bring up.

00:23:42.000 Even Hannity and all these guys.

00:23:43.000 You get your head going like a pigeon.

00:23:45.000 Oh, for Christ's sake.

00:23:46.000 Let's change the subject.

00:23:47.000 He's getting irritated with me already.

00:23:49.000 I've got to get you out of L.A. I'm afraid you're going to get diseased.

00:23:53.000 I'm fine.

00:23:53.000 Everything's good over here.

00:23:54.000 No, I don't.

00:23:55.000 Tell me about it.

00:23:57.000 But what were we just talking about?

00:23:59.000 Why they hate Trump.

00:24:01.000 They never bring up this, though. 1.00

00:24:03.000 Because he's an alpha male, blonde-haired, blue-eyed fucking billionaire. 1.00

00:24:08.000 That's the embodiment of the devil for the left. 1.00

00:24:12.000 They never bring that up on the show.

00:24:13.000 Do you think that's really what it is?

00:24:14.000 It has nothing to do with him lying all the time?

00:24:17.000 What's he lie about?

00:24:18.000 The number of people at his inauguration?

00:24:21.000 As opposed to Obama going, oh, you can keep your health care. 1.00

00:24:23.000 I mean, the fucking, you know. 0.99

00:24:25.000 He doesn't lie any more than any other president. 1.00

00:24:27.000 You don't think so? 0.99

00:24:29.000 If he does, it's trivial shit. 1.00

00:24:31.000 He's a salesman. 0.99

00:24:32.000 He's a fine line.

00:24:33.000 Well, he's definitely a salesman.

00:24:36.000 Oh, he's a bullshitter, but that's what we need.

00:24:38.000 We're a corporation. 0.95

00:24:39.000 We're a corporation?

00:24:40.000 The countries?

00:24:41.000 Don't you think so?

00:24:42.000 That's what I always hear.

00:24:43.000 It's kind of like that?

00:24:45.000 A little bit.

00:24:46.000 I mean, it's some sort of an organization.

00:24:50.000 Does Hillary Clinton lie at all? 1.00

00:24:51.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:24:52.000 Well, why didn't you get called on it?

00:24:54.000 How is that fat twad not in cups? 1.00

00:24:55.000 Oh, how dare you?

00:24:57.000 It is a good question.

00:24:59.000 Yeah, it's a great question.

00:25:00.000 I was talking to Mike Baker, who used to work for the CIA. Oh, I thought you meant my fucking web guy. 0.98

00:25:05.000 No, different Mike Baker. 0.98

00:25:05.000 Because he wanted to come out here with me. 0.98

00:25:08.000 Mike Baker from the CIA says if he did anything remotely like what Hillary did, he'd be in jail for 30 years.

00:25:15.000 Of course.

00:25:16.000 Yeah.

00:25:16.000 Remember the kid in the submarine that worked for the Navy that took pictures of the submarine?

00:25:20.000 I mean, he took a selfie and it had bad shit in the background that he wasn't supposed to take photos of. 0.97

00:25:25.000 And how long was he in jail? 0.98

00:25:27.000 I don't know.

00:25:28.000 So I would just like to see some equity as far as people being held accountable on both sides.

00:25:34.000 Well, maybe it would have been different if Hillary made it through. 1.00

00:25:37.000 Maybe it would have been different in terms of media coverage if she actually became president. 1.00

00:25:42.000 They would have sucked her ass. 1.00

00:25:43.000 You think so? 1.00

00:25:44.000 Yeah.

00:25:45.000 I think so.

00:25:47.000 I don't know, man.

00:25:48.000 Once Donna Brazile's book came out and people have an understanding about the inner workings of the party. 0.98

00:25:53.000 I mean, I think...

00:25:55.000 Look, politics are...

00:25:57.000 It's dirty, dirty business. 0.88

00:25:58.000 It's dirty.

00:25:59.000 It's worse than podcasts.

00:26:01.000 But podcasts are pretty clean.

00:26:03.000 I know.

00:26:04.000 Like, relatively.

00:26:06.000 But...

00:26:06.000 It's very clean.

00:26:08.000 That's why people come to it now.

00:26:09.000 You can't get the truth from mainstream media.

00:26:12.000 Well, I was trying to explain to a friend who was talking about doing a podcast deal with a network.

00:26:18.000 And I was like, stop.

00:26:19.000 You can't do that.

00:26:20.000 This is the one thing...

00:26:22.000 That you can have.

00:26:23.000 It can be mainstream and it's free of everything.

00:26:26.000 Free of any influence.

00:26:28.000 And you're going to let a bunch of pencil pushers and button pressers, they're going to tell you what you can and can't say, which direction you can and can't go.

00:26:36.000 They're going to try to influence you.

00:26:38.000 But isn't Google doing that?

00:26:40.000 No.

00:26:41.000 What do you mean?

00:26:41.000 With conservatives, like shutting down Dennis Prager.

00:26:44.000 What do you mean?

00:26:45.000 Google...

00:26:48.000 Well, YouTube is owned by Google.

00:26:51.000 I'm talking about a company, you going into business with them, where you're a podcaster, you're free and independent, and it's probably the only thing in the world where you can be completely free and independent and still reach millions of people.

00:27:04.000 It really is the only thing in the world.

00:27:05.000 But what does Google do?

00:27:06.000 Well, what I'm saying, Google owns YouTube.

00:27:08.000 Right.

00:27:09.000 Right?

00:27:10.000 And people like Dennis Prager, a religious right guy, his show gets shut down on YouTube.

00:27:16.000 What do you mean it's shut down?

00:27:18.000 He's suing. 1.00

00:27:19.000 He's suing fucking Google. 0.99

00:27:20.000 I didn't know about this. 0.99

00:27:21.000 I know he does those shows with Carolla, but I didn't know he was shut down.

00:27:25.000 I used to listen to him when I lived in L.A. He's a conservative religious Jewish guy.

00:27:29.000 I've listened to him a hundred times.

00:27:30.000 Well, they consider it hate speech.

00:27:32.000 I mean, that's when we're getting to a dangerous territory.

00:27:34.000 Wait a minute. 0.76

00:27:35.000 Pull up what happened to him, because I'm completely ignorant about this.

00:27:39.000 This is the first time I'm hearing about this.

00:27:40.000 Oh, this is going to go to the Supreme Court.

00:27:42.000 Really?

00:27:42.000 I think so.

00:27:43.000 So they took his page down.

00:27:46.000 They said you can't have a page on YouTube anymore.

00:27:48.000 Yeah, they shut his show down.

00:27:50.000 Do you remember what it was about?

00:27:52.000 Not specifically, but I know it was labeled hate.

00:27:55.000 And if you listen to this guy for 10 minutes, he's the most congenial, fair-minded, you know, but he's a, you know, religious guy. 1.00

00:28:04.000 And that shit doesn't fly. 0.99

00:28:06.000 Do you know who Douglas Murray is? 1.00

00:28:08.000 He's actually an intellectual from England who wrote a book about immigrants in Europe called The Strange Death.

00:28:20.000 I think it's called Islam and the Strange Death of Europe. 1.00

00:28:23.000 And he's basically talking about how people from these countries that have emigrated into Europe are changing the culture. 0.77

00:28:31.000 Sure.

00:28:31.000 They're changing the culture.

00:28:32.000 North Africa.

00:28:33.000 There's all sorts of, you know, crimes and things that are happening that didn't exist before.

00:28:39.000 Sure.

00:28:39.000 And people are developing these communities of like-minded people that didn't exist before.

00:28:44.000 Right.

00:28:44.000 No-go zones.

00:28:45.000 And he's saying that this is, you know, this is fundamentally dangerous. 0.77

00:28:49.000 But he's saying it from a perspective of understanding the actual facts involved and talking about the situation and talking about how these are people that don't respect homosexuals.

00:29:00.000 They want to throw them off roofs and they have these opinions about people that are extremely antiquated and not aligned with European values in the modern Western world.

00:29:11.000 Right.

00:29:12.000 He and Sam Harris had a conversation, and that conversation got flagged on YouTube.

00:29:17.000 It got flagged because someone put it up in their...

00:29:21.000 You know, you make like a little watch list.

00:29:23.000 What is it called?

00:29:25.000 The list you could...

00:29:27.000 Will you put it on YouTube on your channel?

00:29:30.000 A playlist.

00:29:31.000 So he puts it on his playlist and he gets a community guideline strike against him for putting up this conversation between two intellectuals.

00:29:40.000 So I have this conversation with this lady at YouTube. 0.95

00:29:42.000 And I said, well, why would you do that?

00:29:45.000 She goes, well, it's hate speech.

00:29:47.000 I go, it's hate speech?

00:29:48.000 You're talking about two intellectuals having a discussion about a real thing that's happening right now in Europe.

00:29:53.000 And you're saying hate speech.

00:29:54.000 If you listen to the podcast, there's no slurs used, just facts.

00:29:57.000 They're just talking about...

00:29:58.000 Well, same with Prager.

00:29:59.000 But this was the way she said it, because it's hate speech.

00:30:02.000 I'm like, you said that so easily.

00:30:04.000 Yes.

00:30:05.000 You've never seen this.

00:30:05.000 That's a lot of power.

00:30:07.000 But it's also a lot of irresponsible power.

00:30:09.000 I know.

00:30:10.000 Or irresponsible use of power.

00:30:11.000 But my point is they're cracking down on people who lean right, whether it's Twitter.

00:30:17.000 Yes.

00:30:17.000 You know what I mean?

00:30:17.000 That's 100% true.

00:30:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:30:19.000 And that's a big fucking problem. 0.99

00:30:22.000 Hate speech. 0.99

00:30:24.000 We're going to let Google decide.

00:30:26.000 What's the name of the company that owns Alphabet?

00:30:28.000 They're going to decide what...

00:30:30.000 I brought that up on Tough Crowd years ago.

00:30:37.000 Wow.

00:30:37.000 About when you disagree with a liberal or whatever.

00:30:40.000 They always go, you're a hater.

00:30:42.000 They would keep saying that.

00:30:44.000 And that's what it turned into.

00:30:46.000 If you just disagreed, you're a hater. 0.80

00:30:49.000 Now it's you're a bigot or a racist. 0.98

00:30:50.000 If you didn't agree with Obama's policies, you're a bigot or a racist. 1.00

00:30:54.000 And that shit works. 1.00

00:30:56.000 That's been working for the left for years. 1.00

00:30:58.000 But now that the social media, Google, controls almost all the information you and I hear every day.

00:31:04.000 I mean, that's why it's so dangerous.

00:31:06.000 So look up – yeah, Prager is the first example that comes to mind.

00:31:11.000 That guy – excuse me – yeah, because he's, you know, a Christian or whatever.

00:31:20.000 Well, he's Jewish.

00:31:21.000 Yeah, he's Jewish, but, you know.

00:31:23.000 Looking it up, unless what I just read was wrong, they weren't, from YouTube at least, they weren't deleted.

00:31:28.000 They were restricted.

00:31:31.000 They shut down his show.

00:31:32.000 The adult thing, like you have to have an account that says you're 18 or older or something like that.

00:31:38.000 And they were fighting and having a lawsuit against that, saying that what they have in their videos shouldn't be behind that wall, whatever that is.

00:31:46.000 They also then...

00:31:47.000 But this is my point.

00:31:48.000 You have to go to YouTube to get the story.

00:31:50.000 Hold on, sorry.

00:31:51.000 Well, no, I'm on their website.

00:31:52.000 I went to a couple different websites to see it, but they were also, like yesterday, they had ads blacklisted from Spotify.

00:31:58.000 So they had ads that were, I guess, initially approved, and now they have been disapproved, and they haven't really explained to them why.

00:32:04.000 Dennis Prager's ads?

00:32:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:05.000 Well, he's suing me.

00:32:07.000 But his page is still up.

00:32:08.000 You know Corolla, don't you?

00:32:10.000 Yeah.

00:32:10.000 I believe so.

00:32:11.000 Ask him about it.

00:32:11.000 Yeah, I will.

00:32:13.000 But the YouTube page is still up.

00:32:14.000 His show's not up.

00:32:15.000 His show is shut down.

00:32:17.000 I'll check that.

00:32:17.000 They might have taken it down by now.

00:32:19.000 This is kind of from a couple months ago.

00:32:22.000 Yeah, they shut him down.

00:32:24.000 So if you go to the Dennis Prager YouTube channel, it doesn't exist?

00:32:27.000 I'm checking right now.

00:32:29.000 So the idea that they would make that 18 +, because it's conservative?

00:32:33.000 That's hilarious.

00:32:34.000 No, this is up.

00:32:36.000 It's up.

00:32:36.000 This is it, right?

00:32:37.000 Okay, this is his channel, bro.

00:32:39.000 PragerU.

00:32:39.000 Yeah, that's his channel.

00:32:40.000 Okay, but...

00:32:40.000 He's got a million subscribers.

00:32:42.000 1,949,000 subscribers.

00:32:43.000 They shut his show down.

00:32:45.000 So they brought it back up?

00:32:46.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:32:47.000 Maybe.

00:32:47.000 They have a video up from an hour ago.

00:32:52.000 Spotify bans Prager from advertising.

00:32:54.000 Okay, then Google Prager Lawsuit.

00:32:56.000 If that's what it was about, it's about them being restricted.

00:32:59.000 Yeah, I am angry, because we're not getting the full story here.

00:33:01.000 Well, I mean, we're just finding out that it's up right now.

00:33:05.000 He's suing them.

00:33:07.000 Yeah.

00:33:07.000 No, I believe you.

00:33:09.000 My point being is, these big tech companies are crushing conservative opinions for the most part, right?

00:33:17.000 Yes.

00:33:18.000 And here's a good way to look at it.

00:33:19.000 If you're going after a guy like Dennis Prager, who again is the most congenial guy, never swears, very mild-mannered, very cool and calm, whether you agree with him or disagree with him, the way to go about something like this if you disagree with someone is not to shut them down.

00:33:38.000 No, it's to have a debate.

00:33:39.000 Exactly.

00:33:40.000 Yeah, and that's not happening.

00:33:42.000 Well, you know, you saw the Google memo.

00:33:44.000 You saw what happened with that guy when he provided all this information about one of the reasons why women don't get into tech. 1.00

00:33:50.000 And they labeled him as being a misogynist and a woman hater.

00:33:54.000 Like, no, he's giving you scientific studies that show that women have different interests. 1.00

00:33:58.000 Is that Lawrence Summers you're talking about?

00:33:59.000 There's been a few since.

00:34:00.000 Lawrence Summers was actually the president of Harvard, and he was giving a speech, and that's all he said.

00:34:07.000 He brought up the numbers as far as males going into science and math. 0.99

00:34:11.000 He didn't say women aren't good at it, and he got fucking canned from Harvard. 0.99

00:34:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:34:16.000 Yeah, you can't have anything that...

00:34:18.000 That's fascism!

00:34:19.000 Yeah.

00:34:20.000 If it disagrees with the orthodoxy, they'll come down on you.

00:34:23.000 Even if it's factual, like James Damore, and you could clearly back it up.

00:34:27.000 You could look at the actual numbers.

00:34:30.000 Not only that, that James Damore guy put a page and a half in there on strategies for encouraging women to get into tech.

00:34:36.000 I mean, if he was a real massagist...

00:34:37.000 He was working for who, the more...

00:34:38.000 Google.

00:34:39.000 Google, yes.

00:34:39.000 He's the Google memo guy.

00:34:40.000 Right.

00:34:41.000 That was what started off, because all these intellectuals came to his side.

00:34:44.000 They go, look, why are we doing all this research if you guys completely ignore it every time it comes up?

00:34:49.000 Right.

00:34:49.000 Like, you're pretending that this research is not valid.

00:34:52.000 This research is...

00:34:53.000 It's scientific information that shows that certain types of people are more interested in different things.

00:34:59.000 We've known that forever.

00:35:00.000 That's why boy toys and girl toys are different. 1.00

00:35:04.000 Because boys and girls like different shit. 0.99

00:35:06.000 I mean, it's basically a more complex version of that. 1.00

00:35:09.000 And he's essentially saying, women like different things. 0.52

00:35:13.000 It doesn't mean that they can't do it.

00:35:15.000 Joe, that's horrible to say.

00:35:16.000 The only difference between the sex is the socially constructed obstacles. 0.69

00:35:20.000 Well, gender is a social construct. 0.99

00:35:22.000 Yeah, gender itself.

00:35:26.000 It is.

00:35:26.000 They should come here and take a look at your place.

00:35:28.000 That would shut the argument down.

00:35:30.000 It's all male. 1.00

00:35:31.000 Male gender. 0.67

00:35:31.000 I've got some female stuff here from when my kids come over. 0.67

00:35:34.000 Tell them what you said to me when I said, what a fucking great place. 0.99

00:35:38.000 Oh, this is what happens when women don't get to tell you what to do. 1.00

00:35:43.000 You have a place.

00:35:44.000 You have a warehouse of male.

00:35:47.000 I'm a nice guy.

00:35:48.000 That's not bad.

00:35:50.000 But the problem is, in this society, male energy, male thinking, male energy is vilified.

00:35:55.000 And you're taught to think there's something wrong with being masculine.

00:35:59.000 Being masculine is the reason why we don't speak German. 0.94

00:36:02.000 Okay?

00:36:02.000 Stop.

00:36:03.000 Exactly.

00:36:04.000 Talk about toxic masculinity. 1.00

00:36:06.000 You'll be the poster boy for that shit. 1.00

00:36:08.000 Well, the whole reason why you need male people is because there's male people at other places that will take away your shit and kill your people and rape. 1.00

00:36:18.000 This is not a bad thing. 1.00

00:36:19.000 Male does not equal evil. 0.89

00:36:21.000 Just because there are evil men, they are evil men. 0.94

00:36:24.000 Of course.

00:36:24.000 It doesn't mean all men are evil.

00:36:25.000 There's evil women, too. 1.00

00:36:26.000 It doesn't mean all women are evil. 1.00

00:36:27.000 I dated three of them.

00:36:28.000 I bet you dated more than three.

00:36:30.000 Let's be honest.

00:36:31.000 Yeah.

00:36:32.000 No, you're absolutely right. 0.98

00:36:33.000 But this toxic masculinity is just fucking hilarious. 0.98

00:36:36.000 Like you said, really? 0.99

00:36:38.000 World War II, how would that turn down? 0.99

00:36:40.000 Well, there's just so many dumb phrases like that, you know? 0.98

00:36:43.000 Well, they're made up. 0.99

00:36:45.000 Do you know about heteronormative?

00:36:48.000 I'm sure I have.

00:36:49.000 You know, cisgender?

00:36:51.000 Cisgender, yes. 0.98

00:36:53.000 Heteronormative?

00:36:53.000 Yeah.

00:36:54.000 Yeah, like, you're imposing the norms, like, as if heterosexuality is normal.

00:36:59.000 Well, did you see, what was the story a couple days ago?

00:37:02.000 Oh, it was in California.

00:37:03.000 Here, a beautiful state of California.

00:37:05.000 They're trying to, the he, you can't say he or she, it's they now. 0.98

00:37:08.000 What?

00:37:09.000 Yeah.

00:37:09.000 Where?

00:37:10.000 Everywhere?

00:37:11.000 I'm saying it.

00:37:12.000 Her name is Hannah something Jackson.

00:37:14.000 He?

00:37:15.000 Yeah.

00:37:16.000 Now you have to say they.

00:37:17.000 Nope.

00:37:17.000 And they were passing it.

00:37:18.000 They had her in the meeting, the actual town hall or city where they're passing the ordinance, and at the end she goes, my grammar teacher wouldn't approve of this.

00:37:29.000 She's rolling around, but we won't hear from her.

00:37:31.000 She said her, and somebody called her out on it. 0.95

00:37:33.000 As she was passing the bill. 1.00

00:37:34.000 What fucking left-wing nonsense? 1.00

00:37:37.000 You shouldn't say her about your grandmother. 1.00

00:37:40.000 She's not here.

00:37:42.000 To correct your gender identification.

00:37:44.000 Of course, she looked like Newt Gingrich.

00:37:45.000 There she is.

00:37:46.000 California state senator bans the use of he and she during committee hearings. 1.00

00:37:50.000 Oh, look at her with her perfect fucking liberal haircut. 1.00

00:37:54.000 Newt Gingrich's haircut. 1.00

00:37:55.000 Oh, my God.

00:37:56.000 Some people are...

00:37:56.000 Sham Howard's face.

00:37:57.000 Some people are just hilarious.

00:37:59.000 But they called her out.

00:38:01.000 She's trying to do a good thing.

00:38:02.000 That is funny.

00:38:03.000 And they call her out.

00:38:04.000 They had a laugh about it.

00:38:06.000 That is so funny. 1.00

00:38:08.000 Who the fuck does she look like? 1.00

00:38:10.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:38:11.000 We won't be hearing from her.

00:38:13.000 Well, you made me laugh.

00:38:14.000 Jackson was then interrupted by listeners who corrected her usage and demand...

00:38:17.000 Oh, stop.

00:38:18.000 Stop.

00:38:18.000 Go back.

00:38:19.000 Oh, it's down there.

00:38:19.000 Sorry.

00:38:20.000 Corrected her usage and demand that she use the word they or them.

00:38:25.000 They demanded. 0.99

00:38:26.000 See, this is the problem with all this shit. 1.00

00:38:27.000 Yes. 1.00

00:38:28.000 It's demanding.

00:38:29.000 They're trying to control people.

00:38:30.000 They're telling people what to do and what not to do, and it's about power.

00:38:33.000 A lot of this stuff is about power.

00:38:35.000 All of it is.

00:38:36.000 They're imposing their worldview on you.

00:38:38.000 But it's not even their worldview.

00:38:39.000 It's not real.

00:38:40.000 What it is, is they're just deciding that this is a thing that they're going to agree to, and they're going to force other people to comply.

00:38:46.000 It's half the game.

00:38:47.000 Half the game is just getting people to comply.

00:38:50.000 Well, you do that by, and you start with language.

00:38:52.000 You control people's behavior through language, which is the definition of political growth.

00:38:56.000 Yes.

00:38:56.000 Well, that's what Carlin always said, that fascism is just political correctness with good manners.

00:39:01.000 Or political correctness is fascism with good manners.

00:39:04.000 How about, you saw a clip of Louis at Governors when he was talking about this, how the, you know, the millennials or whoever demanding what we call them.

00:39:13.000 Yes, they are them.

00:39:15.000 And he goes, okay, Louis goes, okay, I'm a location.

00:39:18.000 Yeah, it's your mother's country.

00:39:21.000 Then he goes, I gotta come up with something more clever, not as harsh, whatever.

00:39:25.000 I'm a location, your mother's gone.

00:39:28.000 Yeah.

00:39:29.000 What did you think about all that stuff getting leaked?

00:39:33.000 About Louie's stuff?

00:39:34.000 You know, Stan Hope had a really good point about that.

00:39:36.000 What did Dougie say?

00:39:38.000 Dougie was saying, like, look, if this was a movie, if you took that movie and filmed it in the movie theater and then put it online, you'd go to jail.

00:39:45.000 That's right. 0.97

00:39:45.000 You're a criminal. 0.97

00:39:46.000 Right. 1.00

00:39:46.000 You're stealing. 1.00

00:39:47.000 Right.

00:39:48.000 And you're ruining his work.

00:39:49.000 Yes.

00:39:50.000 Right. 0.99

00:39:50.000 But they think they can ruin his work because he jerked off in front of some people. 0.99

00:39:54.000 I don't even know if it's that. 0.95

00:39:55.000 I don't even know if the person that leaked it was a Louis hater.

00:39:58.000 They seem like a fan.

00:39:59.000 They were laughing hard.

00:40:00.000 Yes.

00:40:01.000 It's like they had their phone on their table.

00:40:03.000 It wasn't Governor's.

00:40:05.000 It was the brokerage, which is the same owners, a few years ago. 0.98

00:40:09.000 And I'm up there doing my shit and working on a new hour. 0.76

00:40:11.000 I look down, and the kid about 56th row, I see him. 0.99

00:40:15.000 I see the red light.

00:40:16.000 Yeah.

00:40:17.000 And he's got his head down.

00:40:18.000 So I come down off the stage, he doesn't even hear me, and I grab the phone out of his hand.

00:40:21.000 Ah! 0.99

00:40:22.000 It fucking deleted. 0.98

00:40:23.000 I go, dude, you came out of it because you're a fan of mine, right? 0.98

00:40:26.000 I go, the problem...

00:40:27.000 I explained it to him and the whole crowd. 0.99

00:40:28.000 The problem with this is, if you put this shit online, I'm working on news... 0.99

00:40:32.000 That's old material. 0.99

00:40:33.000 Right. 1.00

00:40:33.000 You're burning my shit. 1.00

00:40:34.000 Do you get it? 1.00

00:40:35.000 Yeah, to all the other fans that listen to it, for sure.

00:40:37.000 And also, it's not fair because...

00:40:40.000 These bits are never done.

00:40:41.000 Like, if you want to release it half-baked, like, when you first start working on a bit, you have a premise, you got kind of an idea where it's going.

00:40:49.000 Of course.

00:40:50.000 Yeah, and then it eventually becomes a bit that you would put on a special.

00:40:53.000 Right.

00:40:53.000 Yeah.

00:40:54.000 And they get it halfway or a quarter.

00:40:56.000 And it looks shitty, or if it's done, if you're doing a bit that's complete, it becomes old.

00:41:03.000 Well, that was some of the things that people were saying about Louis, that the material's sloppy, it's not like it's old stuff. 0.97

00:41:07.000 He's working shit out! 0.71

00:41:09.000 The old stuff you saw when it was done. 0.95

00:41:11.000 Like, if you came to the store and saw him working on a set a few years back, you would see the same kind of stuff.

00:41:16.000 I got a couple comments like that when I put my last special out.

00:41:19.000 They're like, well, he's doing the same stuff.

00:41:20.000 Well, you came out to see me eight, ten months ago when I was working on it.

00:41:24.000 Yeah.

00:41:24.000 It's something in process.

00:41:27.000 They don't understand, though.

00:41:28.000 Because it seems like when you're on stage and you're killing... 1.00

00:41:31.000 It's coming off the top of your fucking head. 1.00

00:41:32.000 And it seems like you're doing something that they can do. 1.00

00:41:35.000 You're just talking.

00:41:35.000 Oh, I know.

00:41:36.000 You're just talking.

00:41:37.000 I can talk.

00:41:38.000 It's like there's no other art form like that where it's just talking.

00:41:41.000 That's exactly right.

00:41:41.000 Nobody yells at a concert.

00:41:43.000 Nobody... 0.97

00:41:44.000 I can play bass better than that jerk-off. 0.91

00:41:47.000 Yeah.

00:41:47.000 You know what I mean?

00:41:48.000 Some people probably do.

00:41:51.000 People have, you know, because people have made their friends laugh.

00:41:56.000 I think Seinfeld saw it in a book years ago.

00:41:58.000 Because, you know, you make your friends laugh.

00:42:00.000 Everybody's made their friends laugh, whether you're a comic or not.

00:42:02.000 And you're like, I can do this.

00:42:03.000 I call people out when they look bored with me or they have their arms folded.

00:42:07.000 I go, dude, you got that smug look in your face. 0.99

00:42:09.000 I know you could do this too, but you'd rather work at the fucking mattress factory 80 hours a week and making fucking $400. 1.00

00:42:16.000 There's people out there working at the mattress factory right now listening to this going, man, fuck you, Nick DePaul. 1.00

00:42:20.000 Yeah, well, fuck them. 1.00

00:42:21.000 Whoa, hey, how about you just ignore the guy that's sitting... 1.00

00:42:23.000 I mean, $2,000 for a mattress?

00:42:25.000 Joe, come on.

00:42:25.000 Looking weird.

00:42:26.000 Well, you make a mattress.

00:42:28.000 How much could I pay you to make a mattress?

00:42:30.000 I don't know.

00:42:31.000 What am I getting at the Comedy Palace tonight in San Diego?

00:42:34.000 I'd have to pay you a lot of money to build me a mattress. 0.99

00:42:39.000 But you said it.

00:42:41.000 They got that look on their face.

00:42:43.000 You have to pay for the foam and stitch it all together. 1.00

00:42:45.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.98

00:42:46.000 You think making a mattress would be easy? 0.99

00:42:48.000 I get foam laying all over the house.

00:42:48.000 Oh, please.

00:42:52.000 Start with my wife's boobs. 1.00

00:42:55.000 Oh, come on, Joe. 1.00

00:42:57.000 Where do you get this coffee? 0.99

00:42:58.000 It's fucking delicious. 0.99

00:42:59.000 I think this is Black Rifle. 0.99

00:43:00.000 Black Rifle Coffee.

00:43:01.000 I don't like that name.

00:43:02.000 It's racist. 0.97

00:43:03.000 It's a little gun metal.

00:43:03.000 Oh, it's not.

00:43:05.000 It's a company of veterans.

00:43:07.000 They make excellent coffee.

00:43:09.000 It's veterans?

00:43:10.000 Yeah.

00:43:11.000 Veteran owned. 1.00

00:43:12.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:43:13.000 Matt Flagg. 1.00

00:43:14.000 Veteran owned too.

00:43:15.000 Veteran owned company.

00:43:16.000 I got a flag they sent me when I did the Afghanistan-USO thing.

00:43:19.000 Guy sent me a flag that they used in battle.

00:43:22.000 Nice.

00:43:23.000 You have it folded up? 0.92

00:43:24.000 I had it hanging, but then I made a gym out of my fucking whatever, so I don't know where it is. 0.80

00:43:29.000 Well, you should probably find it. 0.85

00:43:31.000 I should probably put it back up, shouldn't I? Yeah.

00:43:32.000 Sorry I brought that up.

00:43:34.000 Don't worry about it.

00:43:36.000 The Louis C.K. set, you know, was very similar, in my opinion, to all the shit that he did before he got in trouble. 0.99

00:43:43.000 Very similar. 0.99

00:43:44.000 Very similar.

00:43:45.000 Same kind of material.

00:43:46.000 Same way he does things.

00:43:48.000 I mean, people forget that this is a guy who went on Saturday Night Live and did a joke about pedophiles.

00:43:53.000 And about, you know, maybe we should let them get away with it so they don't kill your kids. 1.00

00:43:57.000 I mean, it's fucked up. 1.00

00:44:00.000 It's a fucked up bit. 0.99

00:44:01.000 But he was the darling of the left back then, and so he was allowed to get away with that. 0.99

00:44:06.000 If he tried to do that same material, if he hadn't done that then and instead did that now, people would be fucking horrified.

00:44:13.000 What is it, Joe, about offending women or today's feminists? 0.88

00:44:19.000 They are at the, in my opinion, all this political correctness that we hate so much, shutting down, they are at the core of it.

00:44:28.000 I say this.

00:44:29.000 The zeitgeist of the times is like a fat chick's emotion. 0.98

00:44:34.000 Very sensitive.

00:44:35.000 You can't cross them.

00:44:38.000 Well, it's also because people are realizing now that they can make an impact.

00:44:41.000 One of the things that I read, because he's doing this thing in Pittsburgh.

00:44:44.000 He was doing the improv in Pittsburgh.

00:44:47.000 And this lady who wrote the article wrote that he's making people put their cell phones in bags, much like comedians Dave Chappelle and Joe Rogan do.

00:44:54.000 She used my name, too.

00:44:55.000 Do you do that?

00:44:56.000 I've done it before, but I only did it when I was filming my Netflix special.

00:44:59.000 So I didn't want people putting the material out right before I was releasing the special. 0.96

00:45:02.000 And then afterwards, I decided it was too much of a pain in the ass. 0.76

00:45:05.000 But the only reason why I was doing it, it had nothing to do with... 0.98

00:45:10.000 She said, because they know words can offend, and they don't want the consequences.

00:45:15.000 Right.

00:45:15.000 Well, I'm going to put it on Netflix.

00:45:16.000 Anyways, it's going to be out to the public, you dope.

00:45:19.000 It's offensive.

00:45:20.000 If you're looking to get offended, go watch my Netflix special.

00:45:22.000 There's plenty in there for you.

00:45:24.000 But I need to be able to do it correctly.

00:45:27.000 I want to work it out so that it has the maximum amount of laughs with the minimum amount of people getting it the wrong way.

00:45:36.000 Right?

00:45:37.000 So it's all about wording and sitting it upright and listening to it and going, maybe there's a better way. 1.00

00:45:42.000 You can't do that if somebody releases your shit. 0.99

00:45:44.000 So these people that don't know comedy and they're saying this, you have no idea what the process is like. 0.99

00:45:49.000 You just don't.

00:45:50.000 And if you do, you would respect it and appreciate it.

00:45:53.000 That's right.

00:45:53.000 And the people that are comics that don't respect and appreciate the process...

00:45:58.000 That's where we are now.

00:45:59.000 But it's just because people can make an impact.

00:46:02.000 They can have a reaction.

00:46:03.000 Just like the people yelling at her, you know, that she said, she said, oh, my grandmother would be rolling over in her grave. 1.00

00:46:10.000 Up, up, up!

00:46:10.000 Say they and them!

00:46:11.000 Say they and them!

00:46:13.000 They're just trying to get a reaction from you.

00:46:15.000 They're just trying to push buttons.

00:46:16.000 They're just knowing that they can say something and they can have some sort of an impact.

00:46:21.000 We're going to get Louis C.K. banned from here.

00:46:23.000 We're going to get Nick DiPaolo kicked out of this club.

00:46:26.000 You can't come to this club.

00:46:27.000 You talk negatively about women and women's empowerment and that's dangerous to girls.

00:46:32.000 I only get kicked out of one place.

00:46:34.000 Of course, one of the best clubs in the country.

00:46:36.000 What club?

00:46:37.000 Denver Comedy Works.

00:46:38.000 You got kicked out of the Comedy Works?

00:46:40.000 Like 20-something years ago.

00:46:41.000 For what?

00:46:42.000 Well, there was a bachelorette party ruining the middle guy's set, the MC set.

00:46:47.000 And then I went up.

00:46:49.000 My second time there, I think.

00:46:51.000 That's a great club, obviously. 1.00

00:46:52.000 And they started yelling shit out. 1.00

00:46:54.000 Like, take off your shirt, you dick! 1.00

00:46:56.000 And I said, can we throw these fat cunts out? 1.00

00:46:59.000 And it turns out a fat cunt was running the club. 1.00

00:47:01.000 So I was kicked out of it. 1.00

00:47:03.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

00:47:05.000 Hey, well, that's how I feel, Joe. 1.00

00:47:07.000 I was thrown out because of my words.

00:47:10.000 And I get kicked out for smoking on stage at Rooster T-Feathers.

00:47:14.000 Those are the only two places?

00:47:15.000 Yeah, I think.

00:47:16.000 That was a long time ago, though, right?

00:47:17.000 Smoking on stage?

00:47:19.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:19.000 When was the last time you smoked on stage?

00:47:21.000 Oh, a couple weeks ago. 1.00

00:47:23.000 Oh, the fat black pussycat. 1.00

00:47:25.000 Do you smoke still? 1.00

00:47:27.000 Well, you say still.

00:47:28.000 I just really started.

00:47:29.000 I was... 0.99

00:47:31.000 15-20 years ago, I was a social smoker, because everybody, the comedy seller, I'd be sitting across a Mattel, breathing in his shit, and I'm like, I might as well put a filter in my mouth. 0.94

00:47:39.000 And so, you know, I'd have one or two, but then I really picked up the pace about a year ago. 0.99

00:47:45.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

00:47:46.000 It keeps the pounds off. 1.00

00:47:47.000 What?

00:47:48.000 Joe, it's no more dangerous than steroids.

00:47:51.000 It's not?

00:47:52.000 I don't know.

00:47:53.000 I just know I like it.

00:47:55.000 Do you?

00:47:56.000 Oh, I do.

00:47:58.000 I do.

00:47:58.000 Really?

00:48:00.000 What kind do you smoke?

00:48:01.000 Really?

00:48:01.000 Marlboro Lights.

00:48:02.000 Yeah.

00:48:02.000 Oh, it's gentle.

00:48:03.000 They're lights.

00:48:04.000 Well, I'll take...

00:48:05.000 Cancer light.

00:48:06.000 You get a light tumor.

00:48:07.000 Yeah, you get a...

00:48:08.000 How many are you smoking a day?

00:48:11.000 Half a pack.

00:48:12.000 Dude, you're too smart for that.

00:48:12.000 Really?

00:48:14.000 That's outrageous.

00:48:14.000 Oh, Joe, please.

00:48:15.000 You are?

00:48:16.000 You can't kill me.

00:48:17.000 It can't? 0.98

00:48:18.000 Nah.

00:48:18.000 Wow.

00:48:19.000 My grandfather smoked Pall Malls on Felted and Camels when he was 13 years old.

00:48:22.000 So you think it's like a genetic thing?

00:48:23.000 Yeah, you can't kill it to Apollo.

00:48:31.000 You're 56?

00:48:33.000 I do it in my act, though, because my friends go, why would you start at this age?

00:48:33.000 Yeah.

00:48:36.000 And I go, why would you start in your 20s so you could have ass cancer in your 40s? 0.99

00:48:40.000 I'm timing it out. 0.98

00:48:41.000 I see.

00:48:42.000 If a doctor tells me I have cancer in 25 years, I'm going to kiss him on the lips.

00:48:47.000 You see the looks on guys in their 80s?

00:48:49.000 They look happy. 1.00

00:48:49.000 They're like, I wish I smoked when I was a fucking kid. 1.00

00:48:53.000 I knew you would have disapproved. 1.00

00:48:54.000 Sad.

00:48:55.000 Sad for you.

00:48:56.000 Watch this chew.

00:48:57.000 I did that in college. 0.91

00:48:58.000 Get your jaw removed.

00:48:59.000 Yeah, no, exactly.

00:49:01.000 I'd rather go.

00:49:02.000 I'm very vain.

00:49:04.000 I don't want to be that lady that looks like Popeye. 1.00

00:49:06.000 I don't want to be that broad.

00:49:09.000 She was so cute when she was young.

00:49:10.000 Yes!

00:49:11.000 And then she turned into Popeye with the voice and everything. 0.98

00:49:15.000 But I'll kick it.

00:49:17.000 You promise?

00:49:18.000 Yeah.

00:49:19.000 You stop juicing.

00:49:20.000 I'm not juicing.

00:49:21.000 I take testosterone replacement therapy.

00:49:22.000 Why do you?

00:49:23.000 You don't need it.

00:49:23.000 From a doctor.

00:49:25.000 You say I don't need it.

00:49:27.000 That's why I don't need it.

00:49:28.000 Because I do it.

00:49:29.000 If I didn't do it, I would look like a regular 51-year-old man.

00:49:33.000 Excuse me.

00:49:35.000 Trust me.

00:49:36.000 If I can get you on it, go to a doctor to get your hormone levels checked. 0.65

00:49:40.000 I'll do it tomorrow, and I'll quit the cigarettes.

00:49:41.000 Your body just works better.

00:49:42.000 I'll quit the cigarettes.

00:49:43.000 Promise?

00:49:44.000 I do need it.

00:49:44.000 Yeah.

00:49:45.000 I mean, I destroyed my shoulders playing football, and I have aches and pains.

00:49:50.000 But, you know, I'm 593 quarters, 213. That's not too bad, but you're a thick dude.

00:49:59.000 You're thick.

00:50:00.000 You always get that Italian thickness.

00:50:00.000 Well, it's muscle.

00:50:02.000 Well, that's how I work out.

00:50:03.000 Density, bro.

00:50:05.000 I got those shoulders.

00:50:06.000 I got a lot of density.

00:50:07.000 But this is the biggest I've ever seen you.

00:50:09.000 I've been working out a lot.

00:50:10.000 Plus I haven't been running because I had some stem cells shot into my knee.

00:50:14.000 Oh, really?

00:50:15.000 Yeah, I've had some meniscus issues. 1.00

00:50:18.000 And I'm a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:50:21.000 I can't let him sit. 1.00

00:50:23.000 I've got stem cells before and it felt good.

00:50:25.000 And then I run miles in the hills every day a week later after the shots.

00:50:29.000 You can still do that.

00:50:30.000 Yeah.

00:50:30.000 I can't do that.

00:50:32.000 My knees.

00:50:33.000 I have slight arthritis in both knees.

00:50:36.000 Well, stem cells help that.

00:50:36.000 Yeah.

00:50:38.000 Definitely does.

00:50:39.000 There's a bunch of different things you could do to help that before it gets real bad.

00:50:43.000 But one of the things they're doing in Panama...

00:50:46.000 I sent my mom down there to Dr. Neil Reardon.

00:50:49.000 He's very good.

00:50:51.000 No.

00:50:51.000 Yeah.

00:50:51.000 Do you know who he is?

00:50:52.000 I had him on the show with Mel Gibson.

00:50:56.000 And Mel Gibson's dad was 92 when he went down there.

00:50:59.000 He was in a wheelchair. 0.99

00:51:00.000 He was all fucked up. 1.00

00:51:01.000 And he walked back. 0.99

00:51:02.000 He's 100 years old.

00:51:03.000 He's fine.

00:51:04.000 He's 100?

00:51:05.000 He's 100. 8 years old.

00:51:06.000 That's what happens when you're 92 and you live 8 more years.

00:51:10.000 Thanks for doing the math. 1.00

00:51:11.000 No, that's what happens when you yell shit out. 1.00

00:51:13.000 You can say racist shit. 1.00

00:51:15.000 You get it off your chest. 1.00

00:51:16.000 You live to your hundred.

00:51:17.000 Well, it's only the booze that makes them racist.

00:51:19.000 I know.

00:51:19.000 So what?

00:51:20.000 Fucking guy's my hero. 0.99

00:51:23.000 Fucking love Mel Gibson. 0.99

00:51:24.000 Has he ever made a bad movie? 0.99

00:51:26.000 I mean, made it himself.

00:51:28.000 He's been in maybe a couple. 1.00

00:51:30.000 He's been in a few shit movies. 1.00

00:51:31.000 That's a toxic masculinity right there. 1.00

00:51:33.000 I liked Apocalypto.

00:51:34.000 That was awesome!

00:51:35.000 I thought that was great. 1.00

00:51:36.000 A lot of people shit on that movie. 1.00

00:51:37.000 That was right up your alley. 1.00

00:51:38.000 Yeah, I loved it.

00:51:39.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:51:40.000 I'm fascinated with that culture.

00:51:41.000 I thought you co-produced it when I watched it.

00:51:43.000 I wish I was a part.

00:51:44.000 No, I loved that movie.

00:51:46.000 You know...

00:51:47.000 I think he's a very intense, very unusual, eccentric guy.

00:51:53.000 Like, just being around him, you get this sense of his energy.

00:51:57.000 It's like, it's all over the place.

00:51:59.000 Even now.

00:52:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:01.000 Yeah, I don't have that.

00:52:01.000 From Lethal Weapon.

00:52:02.000 Like, a lot of that, I think, probably came, like, that character probably came from, like, the dark inner workings of Mel Gibson's mind.

00:52:10.000 It really is.

00:52:11.000 You'll like that too, though, aren't you?

00:52:13.000 I don't have that energy.

00:52:15.000 Remember Trump kept calling Jeb Bush low energy?

00:52:17.000 Yes. 0.99

00:52:18.000 I was laying on the couch going, that's fucking me he's talking about. 0.99

00:52:21.000 I'm laying on the couch and I hear about somebody dying in an avalanche and I watch shit on TV and I laugh because I would never fucking be dropped off in a helicopter at the top of a mountain. 0.99

00:52:29.000 To go snowboarding? 0.99

00:52:30.000 Yeah.

00:52:31.000 I'm laughing my balls off. 1.00

00:52:31.000 And then they die. 1.00

00:52:32.000 I'm eating a bag of chips.

00:52:34.000 Well, the one person he's never called anybody anything is Nancy Pelosi and people are like, why hasn't he come up with a nickname for her yet?

00:52:41.000 Yeah.

00:52:42.000 You know? 1.00

00:52:43.000 Well, because you can't say cunt. 1.00

00:52:44.000 That's going to cost him the election. 0.99

00:52:46.000 That'll cost him 2020. Greg Fitzsimmons had a joke about that.

00:52:49.000 He's like, it's countdown until Trump calls Hillary a cunt. 1.00

00:52:54.000 That thick-ankled dog face. 1.00

00:52:56.000 That's what I call Hillary. 1.00

00:52:57.000 I don't even call her a cunt. 1.00

00:52:59.000 What kind of a nickname, if you were going to help him, like if he hired you? 0.99

00:53:03.000 Like, Nick?

00:53:04.000 I need a solid Republican comic to help me with my one-liners.

00:53:04.000 Pelosi?

00:53:08.000 What do you think?

00:53:09.000 Well, I call her on my show, I refer her to the leathery, nippled. 1.00

00:53:15.000 That's too wordy.

00:53:16.000 I think she was pretty good looking when she was back in her day. 0.99

00:53:19.000 Like Lion Ted.

00:53:20.000 Okay, yeah. 0.99

00:53:22.000 Fucking Naughty Nancy. 1.00

00:53:24.000 What did he call Hillary? 1.00

00:53:25.000 Crooked Hillary. 1.00

00:53:26.000 Crooked Hillary. 1.00

00:53:27.000 Lying Ted.

00:53:28.000 Low Energy Jeb.

00:53:30.000 How about yeast infection in heels?

00:53:34.000 No, no, [... 1.00

00:53:36.000 How about lying liberal fuckstick? 1.00

00:53:42.000 Do you know that she's worth $100 million? 0.99

00:53:44.000 Yes, I do, but she represents the little people, Joe. 0.99

00:53:50.000 You know, she has fucking walls around her mansion. 1.00

00:53:53.000 Meanwhile, people are laying their own faces in San Francisco. 0.99

00:53:56.000 Well, that Laura Loomer chick, the chick that handcuffed herself to Twitter, she hopped Nancy's fence and started setting up a migrant camp on Nancy's lawn. 1.00

00:54:06.000 Did you see that?

00:54:07.000 What happened?

00:54:08.000 They kicked her out. 1.00

00:54:08.000 What was the result? 1.00

00:54:09.000 Illegal.

00:54:10.000 She's doing something illegal. 1.00

00:54:11.000 She's trespassing. 0.98

00:54:12.000 I would say to Nancy, I'd be outside the house going, this fence is immoral.

00:54:16.000 Right.

00:54:16.000 Build that wall.

00:54:17.000 Or don't. 1.00

00:54:18.000 I always think, the wall's stupid when we have machine guns and tanks. 0.99

00:54:22.000 And flamethrowers, like I took... 1.00

00:54:26.000 You don't have to kill.

00:54:27.000 You're going to laugh.

00:54:27.000 I'm serious about this.

00:54:28.000 Okay.

00:54:30.000 You don't have to.

00:54:31.000 But seriously, I love how we rule out lethal force as far as protecting our border.

00:54:37.000 That's not even on the plate.

00:54:39.000 So, okay, it's too medieval to pick somebody off as they're climbing.

00:54:43.000 But, okay, use something less lethal.

00:54:45.000 A super soaker filled with cat piss.

00:54:49.000 With a woman and her baby trying to come over here for a while?

00:54:54.000 Yes, that's who's coming over. 0.99

00:54:55.000 It's not fucking mostly 20-year-old males. 1.00

00:54:57.000 No, leave the women and children, whatever. 1.00

00:54:59.000 Just push them off the wall.

00:55:00.000 What do you do with them? 1.00

00:55:01.000 Send them back to where the fuck they came from. 1.00

00:55:04.000 Do you have no sympathy for those folks that are trying to come over here? 1.00

00:55:08.000 We're immigrant children.

00:55:10.000 Yes, absolutely.

00:55:11.000 When did your parents come over?

00:55:13.000 My grandparents.

00:55:15.000 At the turn of the century, like 1902, 1903. They should have stayed in Italy. 0.96

00:55:21.000 You think?

00:55:22.000 People should have stayed in Poland. 1.00

00:55:24.000 The Irish should have stayed in Ireland. 1.00

00:55:25.000 We would have no Nick DiPaolo.

00:55:26.000 It would be great.

00:55:27.000 This is an experiment that's not working, Joe.

00:55:29.000 You've got to admit. 0.99

00:55:30.000 What the fuck is wrong with you, Nick? 1.00

00:55:31.000 Can you watch these viral videos? 0.99

00:55:34.000 I know you're joking around, but I seem a little bit more dour than previous conversations we've had.

00:55:41.000 I was faking it, Joe.

00:55:45.000 I was faking it. 1.00

00:55:46.000 Trump came along and I said, I can say this shit. 1.00

00:55:48.000 Get this off my chest. 1.00

00:55:50.000 The light and cheeriness.

00:55:51.000 Remember my bit?

00:55:52.000 I had a great bit about immigration, how it was like having a big party, but you had to contribute to the party.

00:55:56.000 Remember the bit on one of my albums?

00:55:57.000 The Irish brought the booze, the Italians brought the food. 0.89

00:56:01.000 Now I do remember that.

00:56:01.000 Oh, okay.

00:56:03.000 Remember?

00:56:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:04.000 And the Mexicans said, fuck it, we'll clean up afterwards. 1.00

00:56:08.000 Yeah, psst. 1.00

00:56:09.000 People loved it.

00:56:12.000 No, look, I defend Latinos all the time on my show.

00:56:15.000 They're like Italians. 1.00

00:56:16.000 We're at the turn of the century.

00:56:17.000 Yes.

00:56:17.000 Hard-working.

00:56:18.000 And when you watch the news and you see a lot of people dying, you know, fighting for us, a lot of Latino names in there.

00:56:25.000 I'm a big fan.

00:56:25.000 Oh, for sure.

00:56:27.000 That's not the problem, you know.

00:56:30.000 But I don't think you should be labeled a bigot if you believe in securing the borders and it's not immoral.

00:56:36.000 How about all the heroin coming over?

00:56:38.000 Is that a lie, too?

00:56:39.000 Well, you know how they're bringing that over there?

00:56:41.000 Did you pay attention to the Chapo trial?

00:56:43.000 They're bringing it mostly in cargo ships.

00:56:45.000 Most of it's coming over in cargo ships.

00:56:46.000 Is it?

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:47.000 Remember from the Sopranos?

00:56:48.000 They said 8 out of 10 cargo ships never get checked.

00:56:50.000 Yes.

00:56:51.000 Yes, I remember that.

00:56:53.000 Apparently that's true.

00:56:54.000 I was talking to a guy who was a longshoreman about that. 0.98

00:56:56.000 He's like, they don't know what the fuck's in those things. 0.98

00:56:59.000 I know, isn't that creepy? 0.99

00:57:00.000 One of them is going to blow up. 1.00

00:57:01.000 That's the fucking... 1.00

00:57:03.000 Shh, don't give them any ideas. 1.00

00:57:04.000 They already have these ideas.

00:57:05.000 They call me up and say, that's not a bad idea.

00:57:07.000 How did you get punched?

00:57:09.000 Why did that lady punch you? 1.00

00:57:10.000 It was a 20-year-old bipolar girl.

00:57:14.000 I was at Levity Live.

00:57:17.000 I did a show, came off stage, went into the green room for a few minutes, and then came back out, and I was standing to the left of the stage. 0.96

00:57:26.000 And I don't always shake hands and do all that shit after the show. 0.93

00:57:30.000 I just don't feel it's in the job description. 0.97

00:57:32.000 Sometimes I'll do it, sometimes I won't.

00:57:33.000 But some people started coming up to me and shaking hands and taking pictures.

00:57:36.000 And this guy approaches me, sort of looked like you a little bit, stands to my right.

00:57:44.000 And he goes, can I get a picture?

00:57:45.000 I go, sure.

00:57:46.000 I stand to my right.

00:57:46.000 I'm looking at him, talking to him.

00:57:48.000 He's like, yeah, I enjoyed the show, but my daughter wanted to punch you in the face.

00:57:52.000 He didn't even finish the word face, and I get suckered from this. 1.00

00:57:55.000 I didn't even know she was in the fucking room. 1.00

00:57:56.000 All of a sudden, BAM! Whoa. 1.00

00:57:59.000 And I mean, bam! 0.99

00:58:00.000 I mean, fucking, you know, I was... 0.99

00:58:03.000 I don't know if you ever get fucking suckered. 0.99

00:58:05.000 I could feel the eye closing immediately, you know? 0.99

00:58:08.000 And I looked right at him.

00:58:09.000 This is how good my instincts were, even when I was in shock. 0.99

00:58:12.000 I go, did you just fucking set me up? 0.95

00:58:14.000 No, it's nothing like that, man. 0.98

00:58:15.000 He didn't jump in and go to his daughter, what are you doing?

00:58:20.000 You know, it was kind of...

00:58:21.000 I, to this day, believe it was complicit.

00:58:24.000 He was complicit in it, but I'm still pursuing it.

00:58:28.000 What did she do? 0.80

00:58:29.000 I finally looked at her.

00:58:30.000 I go, why'd you do that?

00:58:32.000 Because you're mean. 0.68

00:58:34.000 She thought I was racist and sexist. 0.94

00:58:36.000 Meanwhile, there was a table of black people, Dominican.

00:58:39.000 It was a very diverse crowd.

00:58:41.000 Absolutely loved it.

00:58:42.000 Coming to my defense after that happened.

00:58:44.000 Nobody got offended.

00:58:45.000 Even a friend of mine who's seen me a million times, because you weren't even being that political that night.

00:58:49.000 She had Birkenstocks on and, you know, bipolar.

00:58:53.000 And I'm still pursuing it.

00:58:55.000 And the guy didn't apologize?

00:58:57.000 He didn't apologize.

00:58:57.000 Nothing?

00:58:59.000 But I said, you just fucking said, no, I didn't, man. 0.98

00:59:02.000 It's nothing like that, you know. 0.99

00:59:03.000 He said, I shouldn't have brought her here.

00:59:06.000 But you did.

00:59:07.000 You weaponized your bipolar daughter, is what you did. 0.80

00:59:09.000 I believe they sat down at the table before they left the house.

00:59:12.000 He knows what I did for comedy. 0.99

00:59:14.000 He didn't have the balls to do it himself. 0.99

00:59:17.000 You think? 1.00

00:59:18.000 That's what I think.

00:59:18.000 Yeah.

00:59:19.000 Look at you.

00:59:20.000 You worked up. 1.00

00:59:21.000 So, I'm going to work for those kettlebells before I leave here, and then I'm going to find this motherfucker. 0.99

00:59:24.000 I'm going to get you on a bike and get you to burn off some energy. 0.99

00:59:27.000 Jesus Christ.

00:59:29.000 It's the coffee.

00:59:29.000 It might be that.

00:59:29.000 This is Black Rifle Coffee.

00:59:30.000 I love this shit. 1.00

00:59:32.000 Veteran-owned coffee. 1.00

00:59:33.000 I want to contribute to anything veterans do.

00:59:33.000 It's very potent.

00:59:36.000 I got some bags for you.

00:59:37.000 It's great stuff.

00:59:37.000 I'll get you some.

00:59:38.000 But yeah, so the fucking, you had the funniest, this is what's funny about it. 0.99

00:59:42.000 For years, people tell me to, you know, keep your temper in check, blah, blah, blah, you know, you'll fuck up your career, you don't, blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:59:47.000 I've been hearing that for years.

00:59:49.000 After this happened, they're all going, why didn't you hit her back?

00:59:51.000 Why didn't you?

00:59:53.000 You texted me like the next day, or that night, I can't remember, and you said, you go, This made me laugh for five minutes.

01:00:00.000 You go, Joe goes, I thought Joe was going to go, good thing you didn't hit her back. 0.99

01:00:03.000 Joe goes, I would have fucking leg whipped her. 1.00

01:00:05.000 Which made me laugh so hard because she's this frail thing. 1.00

01:00:08.000 And if you leg whipped her, you would have taken her legs clear off like a helicopter blade. 1.00

01:00:11.000 I was belly laughing for five minutes.

01:00:13.000 You were leg whipping this.

01:00:14.000 Leg kicker.

01:00:15.000 Yeah.

01:00:16.000 I don't think I would have said whip.

01:00:17.000 I thought you said, okay, excuse me.

01:00:18.000 Well, you gotta...

01:00:19.000 You can't let someone punch you.

01:00:21.000 The real problem is like someone could really damage...

01:00:23.000 Even a girl?

01:00:23.000 Yeah.

01:00:24.000 I saw you in the parking lot.

01:00:25.000 It really hurt your eye.

01:00:26.000 That clip of you in the parking lot.

01:00:27.000 I have a permanent dent in my face.

01:00:29.000 You can see it.

01:00:29.000 Yeah.

01:00:30.000 I have a permanent dent.

01:00:31.000 I don't know if she had a ring on.

01:00:32.000 Really?

01:00:33.000 There's a little dent there.

01:00:34.000 Yeah, she probably had a ring on. 0.71

01:00:36.000 Yeah, someone could hit you in the eye.

01:00:37.000 I never went down, Joe.

01:00:39.000 Good for you.

01:00:40.000 That would have been embarrassing.

01:00:41.000 You could lose your vision.

01:00:42.000 I mean, that's 100% possible.

01:00:44.000 I had a slight concussion.

01:00:44.000 Happens to people all the time.

01:00:46.000 She really fucking caught me flush. 0.98

01:00:48.000 I'm not shocked, especially if you didn't know it was coming. 0.98

01:00:50.000 What would you have done?

01:00:51.000 I don't know.

01:00:52.000 I hope I wouldn't have done what I think I would do.

01:00:54.000 I know, because you could lose a lot of...

01:00:55.000 I know you get insurance for that.

01:00:57.000 The real problem is when you're not thinking.

01:00:59.000 When you get hit and then you immediately respond.

01:01:01.000 That's a real problem.

01:01:03.000 Because, look, you've seen that video of that giant 6'5 guy who punched that 11-year-old girl in the face?

01:01:08.000 Yes.

01:01:08.000 She had it coming.

01:01:09.000 Well, she definitely shouldn't have walked up to him with her fists up, and she definitely shouldn't have pushed him first, but he definitely shouldn't have punched her in the face, his big, giant fucking guy. 0.99

01:01:19.000 I know. 1.00

01:01:20.000 With a nice shot. 0.75

01:01:21.000 You don't want to punch a girl. 0.96

01:01:24.000 You don't want to hit a girl.

01:01:25.000 You don't want to go into that reptilian part of your brain, either, that just responds to being assaulted.

01:01:25.000 And I didn't.

01:01:31.000 Oh, that was killed after I got married.

01:01:33.000 It's very dangerous.

01:01:34.000 I saw you, remember that clip years ago, you in the parking lot at the comedy store arguing with some bride.

01:01:40.000 Oh, that feminist lady. 1.00

01:01:41.000 She was just mean.

01:01:42.000 I thought you were going to...

01:01:43.000 Oh, they're all.

01:01:43.000 I was trying to be nice to her.

01:01:44.000 They're the meanest people on the earth.

01:01:45.000 I was nice to that lady for a long time until she's finally telling me she's going to hit me with her cigarette. 1.00

01:01:50.000 I'm like, listen, you're not doing anything.

01:01:55.000 I know!

01:01:56.000 I was watching and going, what's going to happen next? 1.00

01:01:57.000 It's just so stupid that people think they can get away with things like that. 1.00

01:02:01.000 Well, they can, apparently. 1.00

01:02:02.000 If you were alone in a parking lot with that girl, and she punched you in the face like that... 0.99

01:02:07.000 What if I even fucking croaked her there? 0.99

01:02:09.000 I said this, and I've been making this point. 0.98

01:02:11.000 You want true gender equality? 1.00

01:02:12.000 If we had it, I could have fucking knocked her the fuck out. 1.00

01:02:15.000 And everybody went, you know what? 1.00

01:02:16.000 She had it coming.

01:02:17.000 We all went home.

01:02:18.000 But that's not the world we're living in right now.

01:02:21.000 You showed amazing restraint in not hitting her back.

01:02:23.000 Because I wasn't drinking.

01:02:25.000 And what if you were drinking?

01:02:27.000 I would have probably wrestled her. 1.00

01:02:29.000 At least cuffed her?

01:02:30.000 Yeah.

01:02:31.000 I've been in two fights.

01:02:33.000 I would have gave her.

01:02:33.000 Yeah.

01:02:34.000 From behind though, a dirty one. 0.95

01:02:36.000 Oh, a dirty one. 0.85

01:02:37.000 I would have came from here.

01:02:38.000 You ever see that video? 1.00

01:02:40.000 There's a kid, a black kid walking down the street and some black neighbor and he's rapping or some shit and this black kid walks up from behind like in a wife beater and winds up from his asshole with an open hand. 1.00

01:02:52.000 It would blow your ears out if you had the headphones. 1.00

01:02:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:02:55.000 But I was proud of myself.

01:02:58.000 And that's why I was laughing after the incident.

01:03:00.000 People I know who've been telling me, you know, cool or whatever, you should keep your... 1.00

01:03:05.000 They were all like, yeah, shut up, fucking body slap. 1.00

01:03:09.000 My aunt's like, you should have fucked her up. 1.00

01:03:12.000 I was so proud of myself for once that I was, you know, I was the adult in the room. 0.99

01:03:17.000 And I, you know, I know in the times we're living in, It wouldn't matter the circumstance.

01:03:25.000 Toxic masculinity, if I croaked her... 1.00

01:03:28.000 Well, I don't know, man. 0.99

01:03:30.000 If somebody punches you and you punch them back, I don't know what the fucking rules are about that. 0.99

01:03:34.000 Oh, I do. 0.99

01:03:35.000 I mean, she's obviously very small.

01:03:37.000 That would have been a real problem, because she's small. 0.99

01:03:39.000 But you shouldn't be fucking hitting people. 0.99

01:03:41.000 Now, you said you were working on it? 0.99

01:03:42.000 You're still in the middle of it?

01:03:44.000 What's going on with it?

01:03:46.000 Yes, I... I'm pursuing it, and they...

01:03:50.000 It's just so... 0.99

01:03:52.000 You can tell they don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:03:54.000 The DA was a woman in that county, and now she's off the case for some reason. 0.99

01:03:59.000 They shuffled the...

01:04:00.000 But they went...

01:04:02.000 It should be assault or aggravated or something, but of course you can't go, because if you don't get that, I can't sue her civilly.

01:04:08.000 If I lost that, it would hurt my case.

01:04:10.000 At least that's the logic they were telling me.

01:04:12.000 So they're trying to get her with second-degree harassment, and now there's a new woman on the case, and she said, They're making her go to, you know, anger management because she has mental issues. 1.00

01:04:24.000 And I'm not looking for money.

01:04:26.000 I just want to make an example of her.

01:04:28.000 So why not pursue it as assault?

01:04:31.000 It's clearly assault.

01:04:32.000 I know.

01:04:33.000 Well, you tell me.

01:04:34.000 So is your lawyer's decision to not pursue it that way?

01:04:36.000 No.

01:04:37.000 First of all, nobody wanted to take the case because I'm fine.

01:04:42.000 Really?

01:04:42.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 They're like, your sight's not fucked up, you're not in a wheelchair, you're not, but yeah. 0.97

01:04:48.000 I give lawyers credit for that much. 0.97

01:04:50.000 It's all about the money.

01:04:50.000 They're honest.

01:04:51.000 But that's crazy.

01:04:52.000 But I found a guy, this guy Andrew Funk, who's a lawyer, who was a Marine.

01:04:57.000 And I said, he contacted me and he put me in touch first with a Russian woman who took about three of my calls and she got tired because there was no money involved. 0.95

01:05:07.000 And he hooked me up with another guy, another lawyer who right now I'm dealing with.

01:05:14.000 Yeah, they were all right up front that if there's no money involved and you're not permanently, you're not going to, you know.

01:05:19.000 But I don't want money.

01:05:21.000 And this guy sort of agreed with me.

01:05:22.000 This Andrew Funk guy is a Marine.

01:05:24.000 He just wants to make an example.

01:05:25.000 She said I was racist and sexist, you know.

01:05:29.000 So I just want to make an example.

01:05:31.000 I'm not looking for money, but it's her father that really pisses me off. 1.00

01:05:34.000 She's nuts. 0.99

01:05:35.000 How old is she? 1.00

01:05:36.000 This broad's nuts. 0.97

01:05:37.000 Like 20, 21. Goes to school in upstate New York. 0.98

01:05:40.000 So she's not that nuts.

01:05:41.000 She lives on her own. 1.00

01:05:42.000 But it's the fucking old man. 1.00

01:05:45.000 That was complicit in it. 1.00

01:05:47.000 I think he actually used her as a weapon that night.

01:05:49.000 It seems like it would be way harder to prove that he was complicit than it would be to prove that she punched you.

01:05:56.000 No, I agree.

01:05:57.000 Did she apologize ever?

01:05:58.000 Never.

01:05:59.000 She ran up into the lobby, which is normally where you take pictures with fans, and she put her head on the table and was crying after she realized what she'd done or whatever.

01:06:10.000 You know, they took her to like a psychiatric hospital.

01:06:13.000 So they're saying, well, you know, so I just want to make an example of her.

01:06:17.000 That's all. 0.97

01:06:18.000 I don't, I'm not looking for, but, you know, that's ridiculous. 0.61

01:06:23.000 And the next time, I will hit back. 0.89

01:06:25.000 You think?

01:06:25.000 Yeah.

01:06:26.000 Don't.

01:06:27.000 No.

01:06:27.000 Wait a minute, Joe.

01:06:27.000 No?

01:06:28.000 You're confusing me now.

01:06:29.000 It's too little. 0.99

01:06:30.000 Well, give me a kick that would just hurt her ovaries. 1.00

01:06:34.000 Oh, freeze. 0.99

01:06:36.000 All three of them.

01:06:37.000 Go for a knee. 0.99

01:06:38.000 Go for a knee. 1.00

01:06:39.000 Knee to the pussy. 1.00

01:06:40.000 It would be how you damage the ovaries. 1.00

01:06:42.000 I don't want to lose my knee.

01:06:46.000 I just would say don't hit her.

01:06:48.000 I'm not going to hit her.

01:06:49.000 I wasn't raised that way.

01:06:50.000 Even in the future, if somebody does that.

01:06:52.000 No, I'm not.

01:06:52.000 I would never.

01:06:54.000 Stabbing or gun.

01:06:55.000 You prove it, because you haven't done it.

01:06:56.000 You didn't do it.

01:06:57.000 You had the ultimate opportunity.

01:06:59.000 Somebody actually hit you, and you didn't hit them back.

01:07:00.000 It's one of my proudest moments.

01:07:01.000 Yeah, you should be proud of that.

01:07:04.000 Do you ever get into it with a fan or somebody in the audience?

01:07:07.000 I've been in it twice.

01:07:07.000 No.

01:07:09.000 One time at the comic store, a guy threw a drink at me. 1.00

01:07:12.000 Holy shit! 0.99

01:07:13.000 And how did you restrain yourself? 1.00

01:07:16.000 I don't remember. 0.59

01:07:17.000 I essentially invited him to get killed.

01:07:22.000 How'd you do that? 0.95

01:07:23.000 Come on up here.

01:07:23.000 Come on.

01:07:24.000 Come on up here.

01:07:24.000 I'll show you what's up.

01:07:26.000 Who would fucking throw a drink at you? 1.00

01:07:28.000 Some asshole. 1.00

01:07:29.000 There's him and his dad. 1.00

01:07:30.000 They were heckling everybody before the show.

01:07:33.000 Before I got on stage, rather.

01:07:34.000 They were heckling everybody.

01:07:35.000 This was a long time ago.

01:07:36.000 It was probably 2003, 2004. But he knows who you are, and he knows you're...

01:07:41.000 Yeah, he's just a pussy. 1.00

01:07:42.000 He just threw it my way, you know? 1.00

01:07:44.000 He wanted to get famous.

01:07:45.000 Well, he didn't even want to get famous.

01:07:47.000 There was no social media back then.

01:07:49.000 Not to speak of.

01:07:50.000 People weren't getting famous or things like that. 1.00

01:07:52.000 He's just a drunk asshole who was interrupting comedy. 1.00

01:07:55.000 And the comedy store back then had zero protection. 1.00

01:07:59.000 There was no crowd room.

01:08:01.000 No crowd control at all.

01:08:04.000 But, yeah, it's an issue with people.

01:08:07.000 They're drinking, right?

01:08:09.000 And especially if you get crazy people that are drinking, weird stuff can happen.

01:08:12.000 It's unfortunate.

01:08:14.000 Yeah.

01:08:16.000 It's just, you know, people that don't have respect for performers, too.

01:08:19.000 They don't have respect for what you're doing, that it's difficult.

01:08:22.000 And if they disagree with you, they think they're disagreeing, even if it's just a joke.

01:08:26.000 They don't even know where the joke is going.

01:08:27.000 They'll interrupt, and they'll yell stuff out.

01:08:30.000 And they've just no regard for the forum that you're in, the fact that there's hundreds of other people that are there to see you.

01:08:36.000 It's about their mind and their selfish notion that they want to get out right away.

01:08:42.000 And they have no idea how little it takes to throw off the balance of the room.

01:08:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:47.000 Just a slight confrontation.

01:08:49.000 Just telling somebody to shut up, and all of a sudden, like, you're the bad guy.

01:08:52.000 And a lot of times, it's somebody right up front, so they can't hear.

01:08:55.000 Yeah.

01:08:56.000 You know?

01:08:56.000 And then it looks like you're just scolding somebody for no reason.

01:08:59.000 Yeah.

01:08:59.000 I've had that, too.

01:09:01.000 And I'm super sensitive.

01:09:03.000 Somebody farts in the 52nd row, I can hear it, or whatever.

01:09:07.000 I am.

01:09:08.000 I just have that, you know?

01:09:10.000 Yeah, well, you know, you're tuning into the crowd.

01:09:14.000 No, exactly.

01:09:15.000 Exactly.

01:09:16.000 I mean, because you do.

01:09:18.000 You study what's going on.

01:09:19.000 You read their faces and whatnot, and I'm really good at it.

01:09:22.000 And if I see one person laughing out of 600, I'm not laughing.

01:09:26.000 Yeah, you've always been like that.

01:09:27.000 No, but I fixed it.

01:09:28.000 I fixed it years ago.

01:09:31.000 Well, after about 12 clubs, I said, listen, you've got to stop doing that.

01:09:36.000 But you know what?

01:09:37.000 I am so much better.

01:09:38.000 And not hitting her proved it.

01:09:40.000 Now, I had a brawl breakout that had nothing to do with me at Gotham a couple years ago.

01:09:46.000 What was it about?

01:09:47.000 Two tables were fighting amongst each other.

01:09:49.000 Oh, I heard about this.

01:09:50.000 It was hilarious.

01:09:51.000 Talk about hitting a girl. 1.00

01:09:53.000 I just stood on the stage. 0.69

01:09:55.000 I love it.

01:09:55.000 I felt like Lenny Bruce.

01:09:56.000 Comics have a lot of punk in us, you know.

01:09:58.000 But I didn't start this. 0.99

01:10:00.000 A fucking brawl breaks out. 0.99

01:10:01.000 I'm watching it. 1.00

01:10:02.000 Two tables, girls and guys involved. 0.99

01:10:04.000 There's a girl in the middle with her fists up like she took three fucking Tybo classes. 1.00

01:10:08.000 Tybo classes. 0.99

01:10:09.000 And she takes a swing and hits one of the bouncers. 1.00

01:10:13.000 I watch this other bouncer come across the room. 1.00

01:10:16.000 And drop her like a fucking used rubber. 1.00

01:10:19.000 I mean, hit her like she was a guy. 1.00

01:10:22.000 Really? 0.84

01:10:22.000 Oh, my God. 0.84

01:10:23.000 I don't know how this guy didn't do jail time.

01:10:26.000 But these broads, this is what this feminist movement has taken them. 1.00

01:10:28.000 Now they jump in. 1.00

01:10:29.000 Every time you see a fight at a football game, the stands is women involved and shit. 1.00

01:10:33.000 They really fucking think... 1.00

01:10:35.000 I'm sorry, but legislation, you can't fucking legislate the DNA out of us. 0.99

01:10:41.000 And they're always in the middle of it. 0.95

01:10:42.000 You notice that? 0.99

01:10:43.000 A lot of fucking broads think they can duke it out now? 1.00

01:10:45.000 Well, there are a bunch that have a delusional idea. 0.99

01:10:48.000 Not all, but yeah.

01:10:48.000 Yeah, they've seen too many Wonder Woman movies.

01:10:50.000 Exactly.

01:10:51.000 They've been brainwashed.

01:10:52.000 Well, there's a lot of people in general that think they could go around punching people. 0.70

01:10:55.000 Like, how about all these Antifa dorks that are starting fights? 0.77

01:10:58.000 Yeah, at least show your face.

01:11:00.000 Well, they're not like that.

01:11:01.000 They're starting fights with people and they have zero idea how to fight.

01:11:04.000 They're swinging at people.

01:11:05.000 Did you see the one guy?

01:11:06.000 A guy swings at this guy with a bat or with a baton.

01:11:10.000 The guy catches the baton and punches him in the face and KOs him.

01:11:14.000 And his head snaps back and his head bounces off the concrete when he falls down.

01:11:19.000 It's awful to watch. 0.99

01:11:20.000 Like, what the fuck made you think you could just hit a man with a stick because you guys disagree with each other? 1.00

01:11:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:11:26.000 And you're right, when they interview them after, a lot of times, not even after a fight, but they interview some of these Antifa, they sound almost swishy, some of them. 0.95

01:11:34.000 Swishy, like homosexual? 1.00

01:11:35.000 Is that what you're saying? 0.99

01:11:36.000 No, I wouldn't go that far.

01:11:37.000 Weak. 0.99

01:11:37.000 Feminine. 0.99

01:11:38.000 Well, they want to become a...

01:11:40.000 Look, Antifa is just like any other group of people.

01:11:43.000 They give you a community, whether it's a gang, or whether it's a criminal organization, or whatever it is.

01:11:52.000 People...

01:11:56.000 Sure.

01:11:57.000 Sure.

01:12:00.000 Sure.

01:12:12.000 Because their life has no value outside of that.

01:12:14.000 Well, isn't it weird to you that, look, my parents were hippies, and when I grew up, I always thought that people on the left were peace-loving.

01:12:22.000 That was what the knock was.

01:12:24.000 They were peace-loving, well-educated.

01:12:26.000 But you're seeing now people on the left, like these certain factions of them, not all of them, but people that are calling for violence.

01:12:34.000 They're violent pacifists, ironically.

01:12:36.000 Yes.

01:12:36.000 Well, they don't want to do it themselves, but they're calling for other people to do it.

01:12:40.000 They're calling for people to get punched.

01:12:42.000 Like that kid with the MAGA hat, like Reza Aslan wrote, have you ever seen a more punchable face? 1.00

01:12:47.000 What the fuck are you saying, man? 0.99

01:12:50.000 You know, it's like this extreme lack of empathy for young people, too. 1.00

01:12:54.000 Like young people that don't fall in line with their ideas, they don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:12:59.000 They're like, fuck that kid, punch him, throw him in jail, lock him up. 1.00

01:13:02.000 It's just like, there's a lack of empathy and a lack of thought behind it. 1.00

01:13:07.000 And social media is only throwing gas on that.

01:13:10.000 Yes.

01:13:10.000 And then you've got these Russian accounts that are firing this up on both sides, that are attacking from the left and the right.

01:13:16.000 I think that's a way bigger issue than people think.

01:13:19.000 I think these troll farms and these people that are setting up these fake accounts and just getting people riled up.

01:13:26.000 Maybe. 0.99

01:13:26.000 I think there's a lot of fucking lemmings out there, and a lot of people just fall into these arguments. 0.99

01:13:31.000 How many people do you know that get involved in Twitter arguments, and then they stew with those arguments all day? 0.99

01:13:38.000 They keep checking their mentions.

01:13:39.000 They get heavily involved in that.

01:13:41.000 If someone can get you involved in that, like if the Russians can get a group of dummies involved in that kind of dispute, they could literally change the way people are interacting with each other. 0.79

01:13:52.000 They're making the interactions more aggressive, more violent. 0.51

01:13:56.000 So you think it's the Russian?

01:13:57.000 I think it has something to do with it.

01:13:59.000 I think there's a polarization between the left and the right, period.

01:14:02.000 But I think they are definitely...

01:14:03.000 They're throwing gas on it.

01:14:05.000 Yeah, this thing that I was reading, or listening to, rather, this Sam Harris podcast, very fucking interesting, because they're talking about what we actually know about the data and where it's coming from and how these people are doing this and how they're setting these things up.

01:14:20.000 Yeah, that guy, the comic that you and I talked about...

01:14:24.000 Again, that clip of this Russian who's a former KGB guy who defected to this country, explaining how it works.

01:14:31.000 Looking back in the 80s.

01:14:33.000 Explaining exactly how it works.

01:14:35.000 And what he was saying, this is 30-something years ago, 35 years ago, is going down exactly the way he explained it.

01:14:40.000 And Putin is a KGB guy.

01:14:42.000 Oh, Christchurch.

01:14:43.000 Yeah, I mean, that's... 1.00

01:14:44.000 This idea that Trump's working with him is fucking silly. 0.99

01:14:48.000 Well, I don't know about that. 0.99

01:14:49.000 I don't think he's working with them to undermine democracy, but I definitely think they've got some business dealings.

01:14:54.000 I mean, they were offering him the Trump...

01:14:55.000 Well, yes, but that's not illegal.

01:14:56.000 ...the penthouse and Trump power.

01:14:57.000 That's not illegal.

01:14:58.000 None of that is illegal.

01:14:59.000 Don't take that from me.

01:15:00.000 Take that from Alan Dershowitz.

01:15:01.000 I don't...

01:15:02.000 He's smarter than both of us.

01:15:03.000 I'm not saying it's illegal, but I don't think that he was honest about that.

01:15:07.000 He said, I don't do any dealings with Russia, I don't have any business with Russia, and he definitely did. 1.00

01:15:12.000 That's just not true.

01:15:13.000 Well, we'll see.

01:15:14.000 We'll see?

01:15:15.000 That's with the targeting.

01:15:16.000 They're not going to get him for anything.

01:15:17.000 You don't think so?

01:15:18.000 No.

01:15:19.000 You think he's going to just...

01:15:21.000 Well, maybe impeachment, but I don't even know what they get him, high crimes and misdemeanors.

01:15:26.000 I don't know what he's done.

01:15:29.000 To talk about building a tower in Moscow is not illegal, or to have business.

01:15:33.000 And what did he lie about specifically?

01:15:36.000 Well, there's a lot.

01:15:37.000 Like what?

01:15:38.000 We could pull it up.

01:15:39.000 Let's find out all the things.

01:15:40.000 What, are you going to go to salon.com?

01:15:41.000 No, you can go to a million different websites.

01:15:43.000 Well, I know, but which ones are telling the good independent website? 0.91

01:15:45.000 We just established that the fucking social media tilts left, so. 0.94

01:15:50.000 Yes, social media does. 0.98

01:15:51.000 We're not talking about pulling up social media pages.

01:15:53.000 What are you pulling up?

01:15:54.000 I don't know.

01:15:55.000 I'm not a Trump scholar.

01:15:57.000 I don't have at my disposal all the different times that he lied, but it's a lot.

01:16:02.000 So what do you think is going to happen to him?

01:16:04.000 You think he'll impeach him, you mean?

01:16:05.000 No.

01:16:05.000 Or he'll resign, or what?

01:16:07.000 I don't know.

01:16:08.000 Look, I'm not claiming to be any sort of an expert in legal proceedings.

01:16:12.000 I have no idea.

01:16:12.000 Me either.

01:16:13.000 That's why I quoted Dershowitz.

01:16:15.000 Yeah, I think...

01:16:16.000 Well, isn't Dershowitz working with Trump?

01:16:18.000 No.

01:16:18.000 No!

01:16:19.000 Giuliani is.

01:16:20.000 Oh, that's right.

01:16:21.000 Dershowitz is the... 1.00

01:16:22.000 I always go to Dershowitz because he's a fucking lib. 1.00

01:16:24.000 Trump averaged 15 inaccuracies in mistruths a day in 2018. Almost triple the rate from a year before. 0.99

01:16:30.000 Okay.

01:16:30.000 But hold on a second.

01:16:31.000 What's the independent...

01:16:32.000 Inaccuracies in mistruths.

01:16:34.000 It's a European paper.

01:16:35.000 Yeah.

01:16:35.000 But isn't that a little odd?

01:16:37.000 15 a day?

01:16:38.000 No, because I don't know who's making that claim.

01:16:40.000 I don't know the exact 15 inaccuracies.

01:16:43.000 You doubt that it's true?

01:16:44.000 You think it's all a lie?

01:16:45.000 That it just made up the fact that he lies a lot?

01:16:49.000 First of all, it's a definition of a lie.

01:16:52.000 I don't know.

01:16:53.000 Let's see.

01:16:53.000 It says, Washington Post, who they hate, Jeff Bezos, said the president made 1,989 such claims in 2018. By the last day of 2018, 2017. That's my point.

01:17:06.000 But let's see what it says.

01:17:08.000 I mean, they can't lie.

01:17:09.000 The total figure has risen to 7,600.

01:17:11.000 So you think they just made up all these lies?

01:17:14.000 Not all of them, I'm sure. 0.99

01:17:15.000 But you could go back with Hillary and fucking count. 0.98

01:17:18.000 You could go to Fox News and then pull up an article of how many times Hillary was inaccurate. 1.00

01:17:23.000 Do you know what a whataboutism is?

01:17:25.000 A whataboutism?

01:17:26.000 Yeah, when someone talks about something, and instead of refuting it with facts, they go, yeah, well, what about Hillary? 0.79

01:17:31.000 What about Bill?

01:17:32.000 Bill did it, too.

01:17:33.000 What about this?

01:17:33.000 What about that?

01:17:34.000 That's a whataboutism.

01:17:36.000 That's what I just committed?

01:17:37.000 That was a whataboutism.

01:17:38.000 Because you were saying that Hillary lied.

01:17:39.000 We both agree.

01:17:40.000 But you're making my point.

01:17:41.000 You're going to the Washington Post.

01:17:42.000 Okay, well, that's just Jamie pulled up the Independent.

01:17:45.000 We could go anywhere.

01:17:46.000 But hold on a second.

01:17:47.000 Look, I'm with you. 1.00

01:17:49.000 I think Hillary's a liar. 1.00

01:17:50.000 I think she deleted 30,000 emails. 0.98

01:17:52.000 I think it's criminal. 0.99

01:17:53.000 I think the Clinton Foundation's a fucking fully illegal organization. 0.99

01:17:57.000 I think they rigged the DNC. I think they rigged the primaries against Bernie. 1.00

01:18:03.000 I'm with you.

01:18:03.000 I'm not a supporter.

01:18:04.000 No, I'm not saying you are, but when's the last time somebody made a statement like that?

01:18:09.000 And said this many inaccuracies when Bill Clinton was in office.

01:18:12.000 I don't think he lied as much.

01:18:13.000 Or Hillary or whatever. 1.00

01:18:15.000 I'm sure there were some inaccuracies.

01:18:16.000 But first of all, when Bill Clinton was in office, they weren't...

01:18:18.000 Did they count Obama's?

01:18:20.000 I don't know, but that's a whataboutism.

01:18:23.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:18:23.000 We're just talking about Trump.

01:18:24.000 You were saying that Trump doesn't lie.

01:18:26.000 And they're saying he lies thousands and thousands of times.

01:18:27.000 I'm not saying he doesn't lie.

01:18:29.000 First of all...

01:18:30.000 Well, you said, what does he lie about?

01:18:31.000 No.

01:18:31.000 First of all, you know, I like to know the definition of a lie.

01:18:36.000 If he misstates something...

01:18:38.000 Do you think he does it accidentally?

01:18:40.000 I'm sure sometimes when you're talking that much...

01:18:42.000 Okay, so if he lies 1,900 times in a day...

01:18:44.000 Give me an example of a blatant... 1.00

01:18:46.000 Yeah, that's fucking... 0.99

01:18:47.000 It's Washington Post. 1.00

01:18:48.000 It's horseshit. 0.99

01:18:49.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:18:50.000 I do.

01:18:51.000 I watch it all.

01:18:52.000 You think it's all lies?

01:18:52.000 Not all of it.

01:18:54.000 He's a... 0.98

01:18:54.000 No, he's a bullshitter for sure. 0.98

01:18:57.000 Joe, would you argue that they haven't been trying to take him down since he came down that fucking escalator? 1.00

01:19:02.000 How about the deep state? 1.00

01:19:03.000 How about the fucking dossier? 1.00

01:19:07.000 Wait, what does that mean? 1.00

01:19:08.000 The dossier.

01:19:09.000 What dossier?

01:19:10.000 The fake dossier, Christopher Steele, that they used to get the Pfizer application.

01:19:15.000 Explain to people what you're talking about.

01:19:16.000 I just did.

01:19:17.000 They know what I'm talking about.

01:19:18.000 No, no, no, no.

01:19:19.000 They don't.

01:19:19.000 They don't, because I don't know.

01:19:20.000 What do you mean?

01:19:21.000 The dossier.

01:19:23.000 The fake dossier.

01:19:24.000 Do you know what he's talking about?

01:19:25.000 Yes.

01:19:26.000 You have to know this. 1.00

01:19:27.000 You're being willfully ignorant. 1.00

01:19:29.000 No, I don't know. 1.00

01:19:30.000 Nick, I don't know.

01:19:31.000 Okay, I'm explaining.

01:19:32.000 Hold on a second.

01:19:33.000 Do you know?

01:19:34.000 I've heard.

01:19:35.000 These are terms I've heard, yes.

01:19:37.000 But you don't know the full extent.

01:19:38.000 Well, this is what I'm talking about.

01:19:40.000 This is as big a story as anything Trump has done.

01:19:42.000 What is the story?

01:19:44.000 The Steele dossier that Hillary... 1.00

01:19:49.000 You had to get an application to the FISA courts.

01:19:53.000 They used DNC opposition.

01:19:55.000 Christopher Steele, who's a British guy, had connections in Russia.

01:19:59.000 Remember when they said Trump was at a hotel and watching girls peeing on each other?

01:20:03.000 Yes.

01:20:03.000 That was all in the Steele dossier.

01:20:05.000 Christopher Steele is his name.

01:20:07.000 They used that in their application to get a FISA warrant to spy on Trump.

01:20:12.000 During his campaign.

01:20:13.000 That's fact.

01:20:14.000 That's not me being a right winger.

01:20:15.000 That is fact.

01:20:17.000 But the fact that...

01:20:20.000 That you don't know that.

01:20:21.000 No, I remember that now.

01:20:23.000 Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

01:20:24.000 That's the biggest story as Trump, you know, lying about the number of people at his inauguration.

01:20:29.000 I want to know a lie from Trump that's equal in power as like when Obama said, you know, lied about health care, that you could keep your health care and all that.

01:20:41.000 Give me an example of Trump with that big of a lie.

01:20:46.000 Well, listen, I told you.

01:20:47.000 He does lie.

01:20:48.000 I'm not saying he doesn't.

01:20:49.000 All presidents lie.

01:20:49.000 All politicians lie.

01:20:51.000 I'm just saying they start to count it when Trump took over.

01:20:54.000 They started keeping statistics.

01:20:55.000 Well, because it's so egregious.

01:20:57.000 Like what?

01:20:57.000 Give me an example.

01:20:58.000 Like, look, we just showed you all the numbers of the Washington Post provider.

01:21:02.000 From the Washington Post!

01:21:02.000 So, if I give you another example, you're going to say, oh, that's from this, or that's from that.

01:21:06.000 If you go to Salon.com.

01:21:08.000 Well, we won't go to Salon.com.

01:21:10.000 We've gotten more done than any other administration, okay?

01:21:14.000 This is a lie, so true, blah, blah, blah.

01:21:16.000 See, now, if somebody says that's a lie...

01:21:18.000 Let's see what it says.

01:21:19.000 Jamie, go back to it.

01:21:20.000 What are you doing?

01:21:21.000 But who's saying that's a lie?

01:21:23.000 Well, let's see.

01:21:24.000 Let's see.

01:21:25.000 Let's see what it says.

01:21:26.000 Jesus Christ, you're so defensive.

01:21:28.000 It's like, do you work for the organization?

01:21:29.000 No, I don't, but you're putting...

01:21:31.000 I'm saying what it's...

01:21:32.000 I'm in the Washington Post.

01:21:33.000 No, this isn't the Washington Post.

01:21:35.000 Well, what is it?

01:21:35.000 This is NBC. Oh, the NBC! Okay, NBC. Okay, so everything is bad.

01:21:41.000 Look, man, I'm just reading what's in front of me.

01:21:43.000 I know, and I'm just...

01:21:44.000 But you're so emotional about this. 0.96

01:21:45.000 It's ridiculous. 0.94

01:21:46.000 Oh, I have four cups of coffee in me, Joe. 0.95

01:21:47.000 We should have had two.

01:21:48.000 Huh?

01:21:48.000 Oh, please.

01:21:49.000 You know I'm right.

01:21:51.000 I don't know you're right.

01:21:52.000 That's what we're talking about this.

01:21:53.000 Are you going to tell me you don't know that the mainstream media hates Trump?

01:21:56.000 They do.

01:21:56.000 I do.

01:21:57.000 I agree. 1.00

01:21:58.000 Why would you put your fucking... 1.00

01:21:59.000 Because I want to know whether or not they are saying... 1.00

01:22:02.000 Stop doing that, Jamie.

01:22:04.000 Go back to where it was.

01:22:06.000 It says Trump later said that he intended the UN moment to garner a laugh that has repeated this claim seriously since.

01:22:14.000 Okay, so he says that my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of the country.

01:22:20.000 So this falls into him being a bullshitter.

01:22:24.000 That's an exaggeration.

01:22:24.000 That's hyperbole.

01:22:24.000 Right, and people were laughing when he said that.

01:22:26.000 So he was saying that he meant to say it as a laugh.

01:22:30.000 There are varying measures of success, but it's not true that his administration has been more successful than any other administration in history.

01:22:37.000 When it comes to legislation, Trump has signed plenty of bills in his first two years as president, but Barack Obama in his first two years has significantly more.

01:22:44.000 Signed significantly more.

01:22:45.000 Okay, this is just one thing.

01:22:46.000 I mean, I'm sure there's many, many other things that you can keep going over and over again.

01:22:50.000 I'm with you in that.

01:22:51.000 I'm not saying he's not a bullshitter, but I'm just saying all of a sudden they keep score.

01:22:55.000 Because it's a fun thing to keep score because he lies so much.

01:22:59.000 It's a fun thing for them. 1.00

01:23:00.000 Who is keeping score when fucking Hillary was Secretary of State? 1.00

01:23:03.000 Well, it's a different thing when someone's Secretary of State. 0.99

01:23:06.000 And I don't know how much she lied as opposed to how much he lied.

01:23:08.000 Her lies are a lot bigger. 1.00

01:23:10.000 About her fucking server and about the Steele dossier. 1.00

01:23:13.000 That is huge. 1.00

01:23:14.000 That is getting undercovered like nobody's been...

01:23:17.000 That dwarfs Watergate.

01:23:21.000 When they unmasked General Flynn...

01:23:24.000 That dwarfs Watergate.

01:23:26.000 That's an interesting conversation.

01:23:29.000 I don't know if that's the truth.

01:23:30.000 I don't know enough about Watergate.

01:23:32.000 And I don't know enough about that either.

01:23:34.000 Okay.

01:23:35.000 Is it the coffee going on here? 0.98

01:23:36.000 Well, yeah, I'm fucking strung out. 0.97

01:23:39.000 Since when do you get afraid of an emotional guy? 1.00

01:23:41.000 I'm fucking nuts. 0.99

01:23:42.000 It's not emotional, it's just... 0.99

01:23:43.000 But you're acting as if I'm against you, and I'm not.

01:23:46.000 You're not against me.

01:23:47.000 Even if you were, that would be fine.

01:23:48.000 You're not against me, but I'm just saying to call Trump a bigger lie than every other politician is an exaggeration.

01:23:56.000 I don't know. 0.84

01:23:56.000 By the mainstream media who hates his guts. 0.84

01:23:59.000 I think most politicians are liars. 0.99

01:24:01.000 Absolutely. 0.94

01:24:01.000 I think they're accustomed to doing that, but I think the way he lies is unusual. 0.94

01:24:07.000 I think the numbers are unusual.

01:24:10.000 It's just an unusual...

01:24:11.000 You don't think so?

01:24:12.000 He exaggerates.

01:24:14.000 Statements like that is an exaggeration.

01:24:17.000 Although he did do a lot in his first couple years.

01:24:20.000 Would never get credit for it.

01:24:22.000 Unless you watch Fox News.

01:24:25.000 Would you agree that as you get older you become more conservative? 0.99

01:24:31.000 No, I was always a bit of a dick. 1.00

01:24:35.000 I got a tattoo of Nixon on my ass. 1.00

01:24:37.000 Hold on, let me show you. 1.00

01:24:38.000 I thought it was for...

01:24:39.000 Yes, no, I would say that was...

01:24:41.000 What do they say about if you're young and conservative, you have no soul?

01:24:45.000 No heart, and if you're old and liberal, you have no mind.

01:24:49.000 Yeah, something like that.

01:24:50.000 Yeah, I would say... 0.99

01:24:52.000 That's true, but I could always detect the bullshit. 0.99

01:24:55.000 I mean, I remember watching CNN in an airport when I first started comedy, and that's like 1988, and getting excited at some of the shit. 0.95

01:25:03.000 Well, it's interesting because I don't disagree with you on everything, and I love you as a person.

01:25:09.000 You're a great guy.

01:25:09.000 I like you a lot.

01:25:10.000 I'm always happy to see you.

01:25:11.000 But yet, you and I here get a little heated talking about this stuff.

01:25:15.000 But this is politics.

01:25:16.000 This is how divisive politics are.

01:25:18.000 Even a person like me...

01:25:22.000 I would never leave here going, I don't want to do that show again.

01:25:26.000 No, no, I'm sure.

01:25:27.000 I think this is great.

01:25:28.000 We've known each other for 30 years.

01:25:29.000 Yeah.

01:25:30.000 That's not the problem.

01:25:31.000 What I'm saying is, I'm just using it as an example of how divisive politics are.

01:25:35.000 Oh, absolutely.

01:25:36.000 When people talk about things.

01:25:36.000 But I'm not afraid of it.

01:25:37.000 No.

01:25:38.000 You know what I mean?

01:25:39.000 A lot of people are, right?

01:25:40.000 Yes.

01:25:40.000 Yeah.

01:25:41.000 I'm not afraid of it.

01:25:42.000 A lot of people are afraid of bad vibes and bad feelings.

01:25:46.000 Yes, they are.

01:25:47.000 But this is one of the things that makes people toe the line.

01:25:50.000 Right.

01:25:50.000 The fear of this kind of altercation.

01:25:53.000 We're good to go.

01:26:23.000 It's very interesting how you sort of adopt, not you, but people, sort of adopt a whole group of things when you decide you're a Republican or you decide you're a Democrat.

01:26:34.000 Right.

01:26:35.000 I don't, but see, I don't think I fall into that.

01:26:38.000 How do you feel about guns?

01:26:41.000 Do you got any of them?

01:26:42.000 What?

01:26:42.000 Got any guns?

01:26:43.000 Yeah.

01:26:44.000 How many you got?

01:26:44.000 One.

01:26:45.000 Just one?

01:26:46.000 Yeah.

01:26:46.000 I'm not a big gun guy.

01:26:48.000 As far as abortion...

01:26:54.000 I don't want to say pro-choice, but I'm not pro-life.

01:26:58.000 One of the big reasons is, like, I got a dad who's dying of Alzheimer's, watching him.

01:27:02.000 It's the saddest thing. 1.00

01:27:04.000 If I could kill him tomorrow and put him out of his misery, I would. 1.00

01:27:06.000 I think you could take him to Oregon. 1.00

01:27:09.000 There's states that allow that.

01:27:10.000 There's states that allow people to...

01:27:13.000 Can I go over state lines with them?

01:27:15.000 Is it like taking a teenage girl over state lines?

01:27:18.000 No, there was a girl who was dying of cancer who went to Oregon for that very reason.

01:27:23.000 Oregon is one of those...

01:27:25.000 I might be saying it wrong, but I think...

01:27:28.000 The idea is a right to a dignified death.

01:27:31.000 No, you're right.

01:27:32.000 Just right about it.

01:27:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:27:34.000 Look, man, the idea that you're supposed to just keep staying alive until your fucking heart stops beating when you're in horrible pain, it's evil. 1.00

01:27:43.000 Don't do it to your dog. 1.00

01:27:43.000 I had to put my dog down. 1.00

01:27:45.000 Okay, I love this dog.

01:27:46.000 I've had him for 13 years.

01:27:47.000 I had to put him down because he couldn't walk anymore.

01:27:49.000 What did you do, chuck him up?

01:27:50.000 I brought him to a place.

01:27:53.000 They actually came to my house, actually, and they put him down. 0.99

01:27:56.000 Sad shit, but you can't do that for a 98-year-old man who's falling apart. 0.99

01:28:02.000 You have to let him eventually stop breathing. 1.00

01:28:05.000 Right.

01:28:06.000 Which is sad.

01:28:07.000 All the rights you go out the window, that should be your first right. 1.00

01:28:10.000 It's your goddamn life. 0.99

01:28:11.000 So that's why I couldn't be like pro-life or whatever. 0.99

01:28:16.000 And I got girls pregnant when I was younger, and I was glad there was a Planned Parenthood, whatever it was.

01:28:21.000 The guy in the alley with the stick.

01:28:25.000 I think his name was Dave.

01:28:28.000 But in showbiz, Joe, you know how it is in showbiz, because it's a pretty liberal business. 1.00

01:28:34.000 If you're right on two of ten issues, you're like a fucking Nazi. 1.00

01:28:39.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:28:40.000 I get called alt-right adjacent.

01:28:42.000 It's my favorite.

01:28:43.000 Oh my God, they keep coming up with...

01:28:45.000 Well, you can't call me alt-right because I'm pretty left-wing on most things.

01:28:49.000 So they call me alt-right adjacent.

01:28:51.000 Probably because I have people like you on.

01:28:52.000 Now I'm going to be more alt-right adjacent. 0.93

01:28:56.000 Isn't that silly?

01:28:57.000 You have me on to, you know, your listeners probably, you know, like, you're like, listen to this guy. 0.53

01:29:02.000 I don't agree with anything.

01:29:03.000 That should be a feather in your cap and they're going to hold that against you.

01:29:06.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:29:07.000 Which is silly. 0.57

01:29:08.000 Well... 0.83

01:29:09.000 You know, it's not rational, but again, it's people trying to have an effect on you.

01:29:15.000 They're trying to have an effect.

01:29:17.000 They're trying to make some waves, trying to do something.

01:29:19.000 They're writing blogs or creating videos, but they're doing it to try to put pressure on you.

01:29:25.000 It's interesting, though.

01:29:27.000 It's weird from a psychological perspective.

01:29:29.000 You're looking at it from the outside.

01:29:32.000 It's disconcerting when it's happening to you, but when you step back and look at it, it's interesting.

01:29:37.000 It's like these systems are opposing each other, and they're trying to figure out where the weaknesses are and how to push to affect the other side.

01:29:45.000 And it's not just left-right.

01:29:50.000 It's bigger than that.

01:29:53.000 What was the book I read?

01:29:56.000 What's the place where they go to meet every year?

01:29:58.000 Bohemian Grove?

01:30:00.000 Bilderberg Group?

01:30:01.000 Bilderberg Group.

01:30:02.000 That was one of my favorite books, The Truth About the Bilderberg Group.

01:30:06.000 And what goes on there and the powerful people that meet. 0.96

01:30:10.000 And people always say, there's probably ten guys in a room that run the whole fucking... 0.82

01:30:16.000 Well, okay, but just show me them. 0.92

01:30:18.000 Until then, I'll stay in the left-right fight and have fun.

01:30:21.000 Right. 0.98

01:30:21.000 The idea is that there's ten guys that control everything and they don't give a fuck if it's left or right. 0.98

01:30:26.000 They're just about money. 0.91

01:30:27.000 Yeah.

01:30:28.000 The Rockefellers were involved. 0.75

01:30:30.000 But it's weird.

01:30:32.000 That was really creepy. 0.98

01:30:33.000 They planned shit out decades ahead. 0.99

01:30:35.000 Yeah, they planned it on education. 0.99

01:30:37.000 Yeah.

01:30:38.000 Decades ahead, though.

01:30:39.000 And it comes true.

01:30:40.000 They write a sitcom script that lasts for 15 years with plot points.

01:30:46.000 That book was incredible.

01:30:47.000 I can't remember the author's name.

01:30:49.000 But I don't mind.

01:30:53.000 I used to sit at that table at the Comedy Cellar.

01:30:55.000 That's how Tough Crowd came about. 1.00

01:30:56.000 Me and Patrice yelling at each other about racial shit. 0.99

01:31:00.000 Tough Cry was a great fucking show, but I really am worried that you couldn't have a show like that today. 1.00

01:31:04.000 I know. 0.99

01:31:05.000 You should be.

01:31:06.000 Now, let me ask you, and I'm not taking left, right, but who would be to blame for that?

01:31:11.000 That's why I lean right, and I think, and you do in some areas, you're an artist, you're a stand-up.

01:31:20.000 I cannot vote with a party that is for censorship.

01:31:25.000 Right.

01:31:26.000 And for groupthink.

01:31:28.000 Did we ever find out what's going on with Dennis Prager?

01:31:30.000 Did we get a line on that?

01:31:31.000 Is that still bothering you?

01:31:32.000 No, no.

01:31:33.000 It does bother me because I like the guy.

01:31:36.000 I don't agree with him on a lot of things, but he seems like a very nice guy and I like Adam.

01:31:41.000 I do, too.

01:31:41.000 Both those guys.

01:31:42.000 There's a lawsuit.

01:31:43.000 He's bringing a lawsuit that they think it's going to go a long way because they were labeling his show as hate speech.

01:31:50.000 Maybe it's back up or whatever, but I know that story.

01:31:52.000 You can find that anywhere.

01:31:53.000 There's a real concern that the ideologies behind these tech companies all go in one direction, and they have the overwhelming control of the narrative because of the fact that they're all...

01:32:05.000 Where we're getting all of our information, most people are getting it on their phones.

01:32:09.000 Most people are getting a lot of their media on their phones.

01:32:13.000 Netflix said something like 50% of the people that watch my special watch it on a phone.

01:32:18.000 That's amazing.

01:32:19.000 I mean, that's crazy.

01:32:20.000 So all this stuff is coming from these tech companies.

01:32:23.000 Doesn't that kind of bother you that it's the phone?

01:32:26.000 Because when I hear that, not that it matters with my specials, but...

01:32:31.000 When I picture somebody watching something on the phone, you don't have their full attention.

01:32:34.000 They're doing other things.

01:32:35.000 As opposed to sitting in front of their computer or the TV. They kind of bug you.

01:32:39.000 You put all that work into it, and they're on the subway watching it.

01:32:44.000 I don't pay attention to what I can't control.

01:32:47.000 I don't.

01:32:48.000 It makes me nuts.

01:32:48.000 Yeah, you've got to get over that.

01:32:52.000 That's where the mushrooms come in.

01:32:53.000 You do love it.

01:32:54.000 I'm going to have to try those.

01:32:55.000 Try a little one.

01:32:56.000 I'll give you a little one.

01:32:57.000 Not today.

01:32:58.000 I've got to drive to San Diego.

01:32:59.000 Oh, it's perfect.

01:33:01.000 Me in traffic?

01:33:03.000 What time is your show? 0.99

01:33:05.000 I know, I'm fucking going to be... 0.91

01:33:06.000 What time is your show? 0.97

01:33:07.000 7.30.

01:33:09.000 I pulled it up on Waze.

01:33:10.000 It says if I leave at 3, it's going to take four hours.

01:33:13.000 Oh, you better leave at 2 then.

01:33:16.000 It's almost 2. Are you kicking me out of here?

01:33:18.000 No, no, no.

01:33:19.000 What did I say wrong, Joe?

01:33:19.000 You didn't say anything wrong.

01:33:20.000 Was the coffee?

01:33:20.000 Did I get to cook?

01:33:21.000 I just drove there last week for Brendan Sharp's special.

01:33:23.000 He shot a Showtime special.

01:33:25.000 How long did it take?

01:33:25.000 It took me five and a half hours to get down there.

01:33:28.000 Took me fucking forever. 0.97

01:33:30.000 I thought you might be flying. 0.99

01:33:30.000 I was going to bring it up before the show. 0.99

01:33:32.000 I thought I saw you had a show there tonight.

01:33:34.000 My manager thought he was flying.

01:33:36.000 My manager thought he was doing me a favor.

01:33:38.000 Well, just pull it up in Google.

01:33:39.000 I'll wait up on Waze right now.

01:33:41.000 Yeah, well, Google will do it, too.

01:33:42.000 If you just Google...

01:33:43.000 I'm a Waze guy.

01:33:44.000 Where is the gig?

01:33:45.000 Where are you at?

01:33:47.000 Comedy Palace.

01:33:48.000 Hey, ladies, don't punch him. 1.00

01:33:50.000 Now you know where he is. 1.00

01:33:52.000 Don't show up and go, you motherfucker. 1.00

01:33:56.000 You racist piece of shit. 1.00

01:33:57.000 You fucking sexist. 1.00

01:33:58.000 You hate women. 1.00

01:34:00.000 Feminism is not cancer. 1.00

01:34:02.000 Oh, it is. 1.00

01:34:03.000 It's a fucking, it's a uterine cancer. 1.00

01:34:05.000 It's the future. 1.00

01:34:06.000 Females are the future. 1.00

01:34:08.000 The future's feminine. 0.99

01:34:09.000 I'll take my life tonight if that's the case. 1.00

01:34:12.000 Filthy whores. 1.00

01:34:13.000 Anyways, fucking hairy, thick-ankled girls who can't get laid and they turn their anger. 1.00

01:34:18.000 Some of them are pretty. 1.00

01:34:19.000 I haven't met a stripper who's a feminist yet. 1.00

01:34:21.000 Oh, wow.

01:34:22.000 And I've talked to almost two of them in the last 40 years.

01:34:24.000 3.45 right now.

01:34:26.000 Three hours and 45 minutes.

01:34:27.000 Three hours and 45 minutes.

01:34:28.000 About 6 o'clock if you look right now.

01:34:29.000 If you leave right now, you get there an hour before the show.

01:34:32.000 You kicking me out, Joe?

01:34:32.000 No, no, no, no.

01:34:33.000 I think...

01:34:34.000 Don't make me come across the table.

01:34:35.000 What I'm nervous about, and I'm just being honest...

01:34:38.000 What I'm nervous about is that it's going to get exceedingly longer in the next hour.

01:34:44.000 Do you understand it's making me nervous that you're nervous?

01:34:47.000 Because I was the one who was going to have to get out of here a little early.

01:34:50.000 I thought you were going to go, you'll be fine. 0.99

01:34:52.000 You'll fucking get there. 0.99

01:34:52.000 Dude, I got down to San Diego on Saturday night. 0.99

01:34:54.000 I was delirious. 1.00

01:34:56.000 I'd been smoking in fucking fumes. 0.99

01:34:59.000 The fumes from the highway because everything was stop and go the whole way. 1.00

01:35:03.000 You still might want to try to catch a flight if you can.

01:35:04.000 The only thing that saved me was... 0.99

01:35:05.000 Oh, I'm not going to the fucking airport. 0.99

01:35:06.000 Run the Jewels. 1.00

01:35:08.000 I would rather walk.

01:35:09.000 Run the Jewels is the only thing that saved me. 0.66

01:35:11.000 Just rocking out my car.

01:35:13.000 It was a horrible drive.

01:35:15.000 Well, the whole world lives here, of course.

01:35:17.000 It's going to be horrible.

01:35:18.000 No.

01:35:20.000 The real Americans live in the middle, don't they? 1.00

01:35:22.000 Jesus Land?

01:35:24.000 Yeah.

01:35:25.000 Flyover states.

01:35:26.000 Where do you like to work?

01:35:27.000 Where's your favorite place to perform?

01:35:29.000 See, that's where I'm going to get you.

01:35:31.000 San Francisco.

01:35:32.000 I love San Francisco.

01:35:33.000 I'm kidding.

01:35:33.000 I haven't been there in years.

01:35:36.000 They loved me when I was in the competition.

01:35:37.000 Why did they do?

01:35:38.000 Because some people are happy that someone's bucking the trend.

01:35:41.000 That's right.

01:35:42.000 Well, that's how it used to be. 1.00

01:35:43.000 But that's how left-wing and that fucking stupid dip turned into. 1.00

01:35:46.000 Bobby Slayton could have run for mayor of San Francisco, right? 1.00

01:35:48.000 Yeah.

01:35:49.000 Does he still play up there?

01:35:50.000 I have not seen Bobby.

01:35:51.000 They loved me.

01:35:52.000 I almost won that competition.

01:35:53.000 They had me at the punchline twice a year for like three years.

01:35:56.000 I love the punchline.

01:35:57.000 And then all of a sudden, you know, no go.

01:36:00.000 But I don't...

01:36:02.000 What's tough?

01:36:02.000 People always say, I bet you you killed down south in Atlanta.

01:36:05.000 No, those people, they all have guilt complexes about being racist and bigots, so when you do something off-color, they're laughing under their cowboy hats. 0.50

01:36:13.000 What about Cleveland?

01:36:15.000 Cleveland's a tough one for me.

01:36:17.000 They don't have, I don't know, my sarcasm's almost too Midwest for me.

01:36:26.000 You know what I mean?

01:36:27.000 Honest to God.

01:36:27.000 Really?

01:36:28.000 What about Columbus?

01:36:29.000 I don't do Columbus.

01:36:30.000 Why don't you do Columbus?

01:36:32.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:36:33.000 Artie Lang got in trouble for fucking doing black jokes there. 1.00

01:36:37.000 I don't do black jokes. 1.00

01:36:38.000 I'm just saying.

01:36:39.000 I don't know.

01:36:40.000 So Artie Lang got in trouble there, so you're like, oh, scratch that one off the list.

01:36:43.000 It's too dangerous. 0.91

01:36:44.000 A black bouncer complained because he did a black joke. 0.97

01:36:47.000 I'm like, oh, that sounds like a great club. 0.95

01:36:50.000 Which club is this?

01:36:51.000 The Funny Bone?

01:36:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:53.000 It's a great fucking club. 1.00

01:36:54.000 I know. 1.00

01:36:54.000 I'll get there. 1.00

01:36:55.000 Get over there. 0.77

01:36:55.000 I will. 0.77

01:36:56.000 Go.

01:36:56.000 I'll get there.

01:36:57.000 No, because it's changed a lot since...

01:36:59.000 Well, I just said it because I thought it's...

01:37:01.000 I want to do small theaters, John.

01:37:03.000 I don't want to do clubs.

01:37:04.000 Oh, okay.

01:37:05.000 I'm doing this to cover the cost of coming out here tonight.

01:37:09.000 And I'm doing Ventura Harbor Comedy Club because I... Oh, that's a good spot.

01:37:12.000 It's fun.

01:37:12.000 That Chinese restaurant?

01:37:14.000 Well, no.

01:37:15.000 It's an actual club upstairs.

01:37:16.000 Yeah.

01:37:16.000 It's a Chinese restaurant.

01:37:17.000 It is not.

01:37:18.000 It's a comedy club.

01:37:19.000 I worked it.

01:37:20.000 What do you mean a Chinese restaurant?

01:37:22.000 It's connected to a Chinese restaurant.

01:37:23.000 Well, they have Chinese food there.

01:37:24.000 Oh, it's connected to a restaurant.

01:37:26.000 Well, don't make it sound like I'm standing in the kitchen.

01:37:28.000 I work there.

01:37:29.000 I told you I work there, too. 1.00

01:37:30.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:37:31.000 It's a good spot. 1.00

01:37:32.000 I love it.

01:37:32.000 So I'm doing that Sunday night.

01:37:34.000 I'm not scared to work at a Chinese restaurant.

01:37:35.000 Is this coming up?

01:37:36.000 This is Dream Live, right?

01:37:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37:38.000 So Comedy Palace, I'm counting on it because I did no radio.

01:37:42.000 A bunch of girls are polishing their knuckles right now. 1.00

01:37:43.000 Good. 0.99

01:37:43.000 I'm fucking, I have two knives in my car. 0.99

01:37:45.000 Can I bring that samurai thing? 0.99

01:37:48.000 Can I bring that 1,500-year-old sword?

01:37:50.000 I want to give you some sort of protection.

01:37:51.000 I don't want to give you a weapon.

01:37:52.000 Oh, please.

01:37:53.000 I can do 12 deep knee bends. 1.00

01:37:54.000 Nobody's going to fuck with me. 1.00

01:37:58.000 You look good, bro. 1.00

01:38:02.000 Especially for no hormone replacement.

01:38:03.000 I know.

01:38:04.000 I'm trying to get you on the sauce.

01:38:05.000 You don't think that's my first call?

01:38:07.000 Me?

01:38:08.000 Yeah.

01:38:09.000 I'll hook you up.

01:38:10.000 I'll get you to a doctor.

01:38:11.000 They'll take care of you.

01:38:12.000 Figure out what your blood levels are at.

01:38:14.000 Get you on the right vitamins.

01:38:15.000 Can it be a doctor than me in New York, right?

01:38:17.000 Oh, for sure.

01:38:18.000 There's a lot near you.

01:38:19.000 Gotta get you off of these, though.

01:38:22.000 Get you onto these.

01:38:25.000 What do you got there?

01:38:26.000 Marijuana.

01:38:27.000 Yeah, I know.

01:38:27.000 I heard.

01:38:28.000 Scared of the marijuana.

01:38:28.000 Doesn't it help you go to sleep or something?

01:38:30.000 Aren't you one of those guys?

01:38:31.000 No, I can't hear it.

01:38:32.000 Remember, I took one-eighth an edible.

01:38:34.000 It was like doing acid for me. 0.96

01:38:36.000 I was watching Bob Newhart, and all of a sudden I was in this fucking show, and it was in Black and Wife, and my wife was not my wife, and my house was not my house. 0.98

01:38:44.000 I got all this. 0.97

01:38:45.000 This is from a little bit of an edible.

01:38:47.000 Those are strong.

01:38:48.000 They're making them strong.

01:38:50.000 They're doing horrible things to people out here.

01:38:52.000 But now they have new rules where each edible has to be 10 milligrams, which is doable.

01:38:59.000 But, here's the thing. 0.99

01:39:01.000 Ain't nobody measuring those fucking things. 1.00

01:39:03.000 How about the CBD shit, Joe? 1.00

01:39:05.000 CBD's great. 1.00

01:39:06.000 I know.

01:39:06.000 I went into a bar in New York, and the bartender pushed it on me.

01:39:10.000 They were like, he had like a campaign going.

01:39:13.000 And the problem was, I had already had a couple drinks, so I couldn't tell, but I slept good when I took it.

01:39:18.000 Yeah, CBD's amazing.

01:39:20.000 Yeah?

01:39:20.000 Yeah, some of it has a little bit of THC in it, but it's very little.

01:39:23.000 Most of it is very little, but it's really good for your joints and for aches and pains and inflammation and stuff like that.

01:39:29.000 For a lot of people, it's good for anxiety.

01:39:31.000 I don't have any of that.

01:39:33.000 I'm as cool as a cucumber.

01:39:34.000 Wow, amazing.

01:39:35.000 Even with the cigarettes.

01:39:37.000 Amazing.

01:39:37.000 That's what keeps me cool.

01:39:39.000 What about Texas?

01:39:39.000 Do you like work in Texas?

01:39:41.000 Yes.

01:39:43.000 I've got to be honest.

01:39:44.000 I haven't been to these places in a while, but yes.

01:39:46.000 You don't go to Texas?

01:39:47.000 No, I did.

01:39:47.000 I was in Dallas.

01:39:49.000 And some of the jokes that make people cringe elsewhere were getting rounds of applause.

01:39:57.000 In Dallas.

01:39:58.000 Anytime I said Jew, just, you know, not in a hateful way.

01:40:02.000 Maybe you say Jew and it's not in a hateful way.

01:40:06.000 It sounds hateful.

01:40:07.000 It does sound.

01:40:08.000 Isn't that weird?

01:40:09.000 Louie does a bit about that.

01:40:10.000 I used to ask Louie when we lived together.

01:40:12.000 I go, how come we first moved to New York?

01:40:14.000 I said, I hear people saying, yeah, he's a Jew or whatever, and nobody gets mad and stuff. 1.00

01:40:18.000 Because in Boston, if somebody said, yeah, that fucking Jew. 0.99

01:40:22.000 But Dallas was great for me. 1.00

01:40:25.000 Dallas is great.

01:40:26.000 Houston?

01:40:27.000 Houston's great.

01:40:28.000 Austin's great. 1.00

01:40:29.000 Texas is the shit. 1.00

01:40:30.000 Houston? 1.00

01:40:31.000 I did an album in Houston.

01:40:32.000 Austin?

01:40:33.000 Did you do it at the Laugh Stop in River Oaks?

01:40:36.000 Yes.

01:40:37.000 I did an album there.

01:40:38.000 Is it there no more?

01:40:39.000 No, it's there.

01:40:39.000 That was...

01:40:41.000 Apparently the building is still there.

01:40:43.000 What is it now?

01:40:44.000 They use it sometimes.

01:40:46.000 They'll have shows there sometimes, I think.

01:40:48.000 Someone had something there for a while.

01:40:50.000 I don't know the full story, but that was one of the greatest clubs ever.

01:40:53.000 Laugh Stop and River Oaks.

01:40:54.000 Remember that crazy dude was running it? 1.00

01:40:56.000 The fuck's his name? 1.00

01:40:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:57.000 The fuck's his name. 1.00

01:40:58.000 Bald guy? 1.00

01:40:59.000 Yes.

01:41:00.000 Mark?

01:41:01.000 Yes.

01:41:01.000 Yes!

01:41:03.000 He had an Italian last name, oddly enough.

01:41:06.000 Joey knew him real well.

01:41:07.000 Real well.

01:41:08.000 I forgot about that, dude.

01:41:10.000 Yeah.

01:41:10.000 Yes, and that was Bill Hicks.

01:41:12.000 Yeah.

01:41:12.000 Place.

01:41:13.000 They had a fucking legit open mic mic, too. 1.00

01:41:15.000 Open mic in the fucking... 0.99

01:41:16.000 Yeah, in the front bar. 1.00

01:41:17.000 In the front bar.

01:41:18.000 And it was legit, like good comics.

01:41:20.000 I watched it.

01:41:21.000 I go, these kids are open mics.

01:41:22.000 Yeah, they were good.

01:41:23.000 Some about Houston, right?

01:41:24.000 Yep.

01:41:25.000 Houston is a very eclectic city.

01:41:28.000 It's really different.

01:41:29.000 It's not what people think of when they think of Houston.

01:41:31.000 They think of cowboy hats and oil.

01:41:32.000 No.

01:41:33.000 It's not.

01:41:33.000 It's very diverse.

01:41:35.000 It's very urban. 0.99

01:41:36.000 There's a lot of cool shit going on in Houston. 0.99

01:41:38.000 Very artistic. 0.98

01:41:39.000 I'm a big fan.

01:41:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:42.000 People always go, you must kill in Atlanta and shit. 1.00

01:41:44.000 I'm like, no. 1.00

01:41:45.000 They're PC. Cosmopolitan areas, for the most part.

01:41:49.000 Yeah, you don't kill in Atlanta? 0.94

01:41:51.000 Well, I kill if I want to.

01:41:54.000 But some of the stuff you think would kill, you know, it's like, even for us down here.

01:42:02.000 Right.

01:42:03.000 But, you know, Cosmopolitan areas is more, you know.

01:42:06.000 What about Phoenix?

01:42:07.000 Phoenix is a good spot.

01:42:08.000 Phoenix is good.

01:42:09.000 That's a great spot.

01:42:10.000 Yeah.

01:42:11.000 There's a few great spots.

01:42:12.000 If you didn't live in New York, where would you live?

01:42:14.000 For comedy purposes?

01:42:16.000 Yeah, for life and comedy.

01:42:17.000 For life and comedy?

01:42:19.000 Burlington, Vermont.

01:42:20.000 Really?

01:42:20.000 No, I'm kidding.

01:42:21.000 If I could be up there with fucking Ben and Jerry, knocking on Bernie's door. 0.99

01:42:27.000 Boy, it has to involve comedy. 0.99

01:42:31.000 Probably Texas.

01:42:32.000 Really?

01:42:33.000 Yeah.

01:42:33.000 My brother lived outside of Dallas and he loved it.

01:42:36.000 That's great.

01:42:37.000 Would you have money?

01:42:38.000 You could have seven castles.

01:42:39.000 Ooh, seven.

01:42:40.000 I don't want seven.

01:42:42.000 Too many to look after.

01:42:43.000 Folks, you should see the place where you're doing Joe's show.

01:42:47.000 Yeah.

01:42:48.000 The gym outside.

01:42:50.000 That's a nice gym.

01:42:51.000 I like Texas.

01:42:52.000 I'm a big fan of Texas.

01:42:53.000 I'd live in Texas.

01:42:54.000 I think I'd live in Colorado first, though.

01:42:56.000 Yeah?

01:42:57.000 Yeah.

01:42:57.000 Weed?

01:42:58.000 Not just weed.

01:42:59.000 Mountains.

01:43:00.000 You like them, huh?

01:43:01.000 I love what it does for you.

01:43:03.000 There's something about being around mountains.

01:43:07.000 I was actually reading something about this.

01:43:09.000 There's an actual thing that happens to people when you're faced with immense natural beauty that it diminishes your ego and yourself and it puts people in a more spiritual perspective.

01:43:23.000 Being around mountains, it's humbling.

01:43:25.000 Sure.

01:43:26.000 You're around them.

01:43:26.000 It's beautiful.

01:43:27.000 It's like the best looking art you could ever see.

01:43:29.000 It's like a gorgeous mountain with some green hills and the sun coming out of the clouds.

01:43:33.000 It's as good to look at as anything that's ever existed.

01:43:36.000 I'm not very religious.

01:43:38.000 I don't know.

01:43:39.000 I haven't made up my mind.

01:43:40.000 But when I see stuff like that is when I get kind of...

01:43:43.000 You want to make up your mind?

01:43:45.000 I got something right here for you.

01:43:47.000 What is that?

01:43:47.000 Mushrooms?

01:43:48.000 That's what the mushrooms are.

01:43:50.000 I know!

01:43:50.000 That's exactly what they're for.

01:43:52.000 Come on, bro.

01:43:54.000 Just make up your money.

01:43:54.000 How about Joe?

01:43:56.000 Can you imagine if I took these and did the show before?

01:44:00.000 Just take a little one like this. 1.00

01:44:01.000 No, fuck that. 1.00

01:44:04.000 Nobody's got to get hurt. 1.00

01:44:06.000 Just a little one.

01:44:07.000 Jamie, would you do that?

01:44:08.000 Maybe.

01:44:10.000 Just a little one.

01:44:11.000 I don't want to be giggling in the car on the way down, throwing up on myself.

01:44:14.000 It'll be fine.

01:44:15.000 What's it do?

01:44:16.000 What's going to happen?

01:44:17.000 I want to get out of here before it takes effect. 0.99

01:44:19.000 It's going to get me in a fucking, some type of scissors lock. 0.99

01:44:21.000 It should be legal. 0.99

01:44:23.000 It's supposed to be legal everywhere.

01:44:24.000 I believe that.

01:44:24.000 It would make people mellow the fuck out, right?

01:44:26.000 It would.

01:44:27.000 Open that third eye, man.

01:44:29.000 It would do something really good for people.

01:44:31.000 The problem is you forget, you take it sometimes.

01:44:33.000 You know, like an hour and a half later, like, why am I so weak?

01:44:35.000 Oh, okay.

01:44:37.000 Yeah, I don't want to be that far in my own head.

01:44:39.000 That's scary.

01:44:40.000 Have you ever done the float tank?

01:44:42.000 No.

01:44:43.000 You want to do that?

01:44:43.000 Well, you can't.

01:44:44.000 I can't. 0.99

01:44:45.000 I've got to float the fucking San Diego. 0.99

01:44:47.000 I should go down there on the raft like everybody else does. 0.99

01:44:51.000 Last time I ran into you...

01:44:53.000 I am so nervous that you get nervous about me making my show.

01:44:56.000 Do you understand?

01:44:56.000 Yeah, I think we're going to get you out of here in about 15 minutes.

01:44:59.000 That's what I think is the right move.

01:45:00.000 Is that alright?

01:45:01.000 Yeah, I think that's the right move.

01:45:02.000 Maybe 10? 0.79

01:45:03.000 You guys got me really fucking nervous now. 0.83

01:45:04.000 I wish I wasn't, but at least you have ways. 0.96

01:45:07.000 Ways will put you on some weird fucking funky backcountry routes that'll cut 20 minutes out of it. 0.89

01:45:12.000 I'll end up in Mexico. 1.00

01:45:13.000 You'll be fine.

01:45:14.000 Very close to Mexico, but super conservative.

01:45:16.000 That's what's interesting about San Diego.

01:45:18.000 You know why?

01:45:19.000 My first album, I did La Jolla.

01:45:20.000 Military.

01:45:21.000 Yes.

01:45:22.000 It's all military down there.

01:45:23.000 That's right.

01:45:23.000 Yeah.

01:45:23.000 Safe as fuck.

01:45:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:45:28.000 Maybe I'll have one of those guys at my show tonight.

01:45:30.000 People have said to me, like, where would you live?

01:45:32.000 Would you live in a military town?

01:45:33.000 Like, yes!

01:45:34.000 That's a good place to live.

01:45:36.000 You're going to have gyms, for sure.

01:45:38.000 You're definitely going to have gun ranges.

01:45:40.000 When you say that, does that when they throw you into the alt-right adjacent category?

01:45:44.000 Stuff like that.

01:45:46.000 Probably.

01:45:46.000 Yeah.

01:45:47.000 I mean, the American flag behind me probably contributes to that, too.

01:45:51.000 Oh, my God.

01:45:51.000 How horrible.

01:45:52.000 I know. 1.00

01:45:52.000 You're a fucking extremist, Joe. 1.00

01:45:54.000 What next? 1.00

01:45:54.000 The Constitution? 1.00

01:45:56.000 Decolonizing.

01:45:56.000 That's one of my favorite things.

01:45:57.000 Decolonizing.

01:45:58.000 You've been paying attention to that expression.

01:46:00.000 People want to decolonize certain things.

01:46:03.000 Like what? 0.98

01:46:04.000 Oh, like hairstyles and shit. 0.98

01:46:06.000 Decolonize a hairstyle? 0.97

01:46:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:46:08.000 There was a guy who got kicked off of a show.

01:46:10.000 Is he the mushrooms talking already?

01:46:12.000 No, no, no.

01:46:13.000 There was a guy who got kicked off of a show.

01:46:15.000 He was on a show, I think it was in Montreal, and he had dreadlocks on.

01:46:22.000 And it was this, he's apparently gender fluid, which I guess means...

01:46:27.000 I dabbled in that.

01:46:28.000 Yeah, you can go back and forth between being a man and a woman, but he does have dreadlocks.

01:46:31.000 And they kicked him off the show because he's a white guy with dreadlocks.

01:46:34.000 And he defended their position.

01:46:36.000 And one of the phrases they used was about decolonizing specific hairstyles.

01:46:43.000 And taking them away from white people and giving them back to the people. 0.99

01:46:49.000 Oh, that's sort of appropriation is what they're accusing me of.

01:46:52.000 Cultural appropriation.

01:46:53.000 Yeah.

01:46:54.000 Hairstyles.

01:46:54.000 I'd like to go with dreads as a 57-year-old Italian guy.

01:46:57.000 You'd be weird.

01:46:58.000 You'd be weird with dreads.

01:46:59.000 I'd get famous just from that.

01:47:01.000 Yeah.

01:47:02.000 That and a white goatee.

01:47:04.000 Colin Quinn says I should wear a black turtleneck with yellow lightning bolts and call myself Don Corrado.

01:47:16.000 Why?

01:47:16.000 He's just being funny.

01:47:18.000 I heard he has an amazing new show.

01:47:20.000 That guy.

01:47:21.000 I watch him work it out, man.

01:47:23.000 It's all about politics.

01:47:25.000 It's about what we're talking about.

01:47:26.000 About Red vs.

01:47:26.000 Blitz.

01:47:27.000 So timely and shit. 1.00

01:47:31.000 He's a craftsman. 1.00

01:47:32.000 I watch him.

01:47:33.000 The Fat Black Pussycat.

01:47:34.000 I'd go on sometimes.

01:47:35.000 I'd have a show after his.

01:47:37.000 What is the Fat Black Pussycat? 1.00

01:47:39.000 You'd fucking love it. 0.99

01:47:40.000 It's right around the corner from the Comedy Cellar. 0.98

01:47:42.000 It's got a real bohemian feel to it.

01:47:44.000 People sitting in couches.

01:47:46.000 There's lamps.

01:47:46.000 It holds about 75 people.

01:47:48.000 Colin was, of course, quick enough and smart enough to say, I'm using this every night to work shit out. 0.90

01:47:53.000 And people know. 0.90

01:47:55.000 You can say, look, I'm only charging you $5.

01:47:58.000 Because I'm going to be working new stuff out.

01:48:00.000 But you would love it.

01:48:01.000 It's kind of a bohemian feel to it.

01:48:03.000 And they give you the door.

01:48:06.000 Not that that has anything to do with you.

01:48:09.000 But it's great.

01:48:11.000 You do an hour.

01:48:14.000 I smoke.

01:48:15.000 Wow.

01:48:17.000 It's so fun.

01:48:18.000 It's so...

01:48:19.000 Again, it's like 75 seats.

01:48:22.000 It's a little balcony.

01:48:22.000 The fact that you do an hour is very attractive.

01:48:24.000 So New York has some weird little clubs, man.

01:48:26.000 It's really interesting how New York has it.

01:48:28.000 Because guys are just hopping around like that.

01:48:30.000 I never...

01:48:31.000 When I lived in New York, I could never afford to live in the city.

01:48:35.000 So I lived in New Rochelle, and when I did gigs, I was like, well, I could work in town and do 10 minutes or 15 minutes, or I could just go on the road and do a gig in Connecticut or do a gig in Jersey and make actual money.

01:48:47.000 And so I always did that.

01:48:48.000 So even when I lived in New York, I hardly ever worked in New York.

01:48:51.000 Yeah, I don't as much anymore.

01:48:53.000 I used to, you know, I used to go to the comedy cell every night, but Louis made that place world famous.

01:48:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:48:59.000 And it's not, it used to be a room where you could work shit out and take your time, but now it's, you know, it's a fucking tourist. 0.88

01:49:05.000 It's packed, it's still a great club, but I feel like, you know, grow that. 0.90

01:49:09.000 I don't want to go on stage unless I'm doing at least...

01:49:13.000 40 minutes.

01:49:14.000 Right, right.

01:49:15.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:15.000 I've got to get something done.

01:49:17.000 15 minute sets, that's why I still do the Fat Black Pussycat, which is such a great thing.

01:49:24.000 Look at that.

01:49:26.000 Nice.

01:49:26.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:49:27.000 Nice little spot.

01:49:28.000 And that looks big.

01:49:30.000 You know, it always looks bigger from a picture.

01:49:32.000 It's tiny.

01:49:33.000 That's from the balcony up there.

01:49:36.000 So is it like the belly room at the store?

01:49:38.000 It's smaller than that.

01:49:40.000 Really?

01:49:41.000 Oh, yeah.

01:49:41.000 Way smaller than that.

01:49:42.000 Way smaller than that.

01:49:44.000 The store is 70 people upstairs, so it's basically the same.

01:49:47.000 Oh, the one way up to me.

01:49:49.000 The belly room.

01:49:49.000 Yeah, yeah, the little one.

01:49:50.000 Not the original room.

01:49:51.000 I was thinking the original.

01:49:52.000 Yeah, I would say like that.

01:49:54.000 Yeah.

01:49:55.000 You'd fucking love it. 1.00

01:49:56.000 And people are sitting in couches and shit. 0.99

01:49:58.000 It's really cool. 0.99

01:50:00.000 And Noam who runs, he couldn't be nicer.

01:50:03.000 And that's the only one I really do in the city.

01:50:06.000 Really?

01:50:07.000 Yeah.

01:50:07.000 I'm like you.

01:50:08.000 I'd rather go to Governor's or somewhere else and do some real time.

01:50:12.000 Governor's is a great club.

01:50:13.000 Yeah.

01:50:13.000 The other thing about doing clubs where there's a lot of people on, where you're only doing 15 minutes, the good thing about it is that it's not your crowd.

01:50:22.000 So you have to make people laugh that are there just to see comedy.

01:50:25.000 They're not just to see Nick DiPaolo.

01:50:26.000 Right.

01:50:26.000 You know how that happens to some guys?

01:50:29.000 They develop their crowd, and then they kind of lose their edge.

01:50:32.000 Yes.

01:50:33.000 It's scary, right?

01:50:34.000 Yes.

01:50:35.000 Yes.

01:50:36.000 Last time I saw you on stage, I walked into Caroline's.

01:50:39.000 I was just in town for something, and you were on stage.

01:50:43.000 It was a late show. 0.99

01:50:44.000 And you were doing some fucking joke about Katrina. 0.99

01:50:46.000 A joke about Katrina that they spelled help wrong. 0.99

01:50:50.000 On the roof?

01:50:51.000 You know how many people die because they couldn't spell help?

01:50:54.000 Guy looking down from a helicopter and says, HEP. Yeah.

01:50:56.000 I said, if you want HEP, just step in that water you're standing there. 0.99

01:51:00.000 I was fucking crying laughing. 0.98

01:51:02.000 I'm like, Nick is just still swinging from the hip the same way. 0.99

01:51:06.000 That's my favorite, Joe.

01:51:07.000 That stage is still one of my favorites in the country.

01:51:11.000 I don't do Carolines. 1.00

01:51:12.000 Do you know the problem with Carolines, though, is when they reduce the stage down to the size of a fucking shoebox? 0.99

01:51:16.000 Yes. 0.99

01:51:17.000 But you're absolutely right.

01:51:18.000 It's adjustable.

01:51:19.000 Yeah.

01:51:20.000 But on a Tuesday or Wednesday night with like 60, 70 people in there?

01:51:24.000 Oh, it's amazing.

01:51:25.000 It is my favorite.

01:51:26.000 I was so comfortable because I played it so much when I first moved to New York.

01:51:29.000 I could stay up there for three hours.

01:51:31.000 I got so much done.

01:51:32.000 I wrote half specials on that stage by doing like Tuesday nights for a year.

01:51:36.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:37.000 That's where you get it done.

01:51:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:40.000 You're right. 0.99

01:51:40.000 Like 60 people in the crowd fucking around. 0.99

01:51:43.000 Isn't that not the fucking... 0.99

01:51:45.000 I did some little place up in Canada, Niagara Falls, the corner comedy club. 0.99

01:51:49.000 I'm in a real hole in the wall. 0.99

01:51:51.000 Shitty tables and, you know, fucking just cheesy. 0.98

01:51:54.000 Had the best time of my life. 0.99

01:51:56.000 Well, when a place is big, then it becomes a show.

01:51:59.000 And you have to do your act.

01:52:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:52:02.000 You have to work tight.

01:52:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:52:04.000 Which stifles creativity.

01:52:05.000 Yeah.

01:52:06.000 Yeah, that's one of the reasons why Ari, when he does the store, he'll sign up for like late night and he'll get on like at 1245 or some shit like that and there's 20 people there.

01:52:15.000 And I always say that that's like truth serum. 0.97

01:52:18.000 Because if you do your act in front of 20 people, you know what sucks. 0.97

01:52:21.000 Like there's no confusing what sucks. 0.98

01:52:24.000 It's right in front of you. 0.92

01:52:25.000 That's right.

01:52:26.000 You feel the terribleness of your material. 1.00

01:52:31.000 You don't need 250 people to tell you suck. 0.98

01:52:33.000 It takes four couples who are paying attention. 1.00

01:52:36.000 But you feel it.

01:52:38.000 You can kind of song and dance your way through a couple of hundred people.

01:52:41.000 That's right.

01:52:42.000 You're exactly right.

01:52:43.000 A barometer.

01:52:44.000 Always said that.

01:52:45.000 Give me just double figures.

01:52:46.000 Give me 15 to 20. That is enough.

01:52:49.000 It's great to work out material.

01:52:51.000 Of course. 0.99

01:52:52.000 It's great to cut out all the horse shit in your act. 0.99

01:52:55.000 Yeah, because if there's only 15 people in the room and 7 of them don't like the joke, oh, you feel it. 0.99

01:53:00.000 Yeah, the 15, if someone's sitting there with their cross arms, staring you down, like, yikes!

01:53:06.000 That's where the work gets done.

01:53:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:09.000 I used to hate playing Carolines, and this is ironic, but this is when I had Comedy Central specials and I was kind of hot, and I would sell out Carolines.

01:53:17.000 I would hate it, though, like two shows on a Saturday night, because it's packed, and I know... 0.97

01:53:22.000 I have something called the asshole quotient. 0.99

01:53:24.000 For every 20 people in a club, there's one asshole. 0.99

01:53:26.000 So if there was like 250, you know, somebody do the math. 1.00

01:53:29.000 So you got more assholes. 0.99

01:53:30.000 Yeah, that was my rule. 1.00

01:53:32.000 So you have to work fast and tight to keep their attention.

01:53:35.000 Right.

01:53:36.000 As opposed to taking your time on a Tuesday night in front of 60 people, and the real funny comes out.

01:53:41.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:53:41.000 When you say shit in between your proven bits, there's the gold. 1.00

01:53:45.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:53:46.000 Yeah, it comes out of nowhere.

01:53:47.000 It's like it opens up.

01:53:48.000 And you put yourself in that frame of mind, too, when there's only 30 people at midnight or something like that.

01:53:54.000 You're putting yourself in a different frame of mind.

01:53:56.000 There's no pressure.

01:53:58.000 Let me ask you that.

01:54:00.000 Can you do that in front of a full room?

01:54:03.000 I can't put myself in that mentality.

01:54:05.000 It's hard.

01:54:06.000 Because you have to work differently. 1.00

01:54:08.000 I feel like I'm being a pussy and giving in. 0.99

01:54:10.000 But I know damn well if I work as slow as I do in front of 40 or 50 people, in front of 250 or 300, somebody's going to get anxious. 0.99

01:54:17.000 At least that's my... 0.98

01:54:18.000 That mentality, like you said, when you show up with 50 people, it's almost like fucking around in somebody's living room. 0.99

01:54:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.97

01:54:25.000 And I want that feeling in front of 300 people or 400 people.

01:54:28.000 It's always different.

01:54:29.000 You know, we were talking about that last night, that like when you do a large theater, it's so much different than doing a club.

01:54:34.000 Even if you do a packed club of 500 people and then you move to a place that's got 5,000 people, it's just a different feeling.

01:54:39.000 It's a totally different feeling.

01:54:40.000 You have to do the air quotes act.

01:54:43.000 You gotta do your act.

01:54:44.000 5,000.

01:54:46.000 Yeah.

01:54:47.000 It gets weird.

01:54:48.000 Large numbers are weird.

01:54:49.000 Yeah.

01:54:50.000 Timing's different.

01:54:51.000 You can't hammer the punchlines like you can in a club.

01:54:54.000 Like in a club, you go punch.

01:54:56.000 You remember Gavin would hit punchline after punchline.

01:54:58.000 Tag, tag, tag, tag, tag.

01:54:59.000 And those tags would just have everybody roll.

01:55:02.000 Oh, yeah.

01:55:03.000 Well, if he was doing 10,000 people, those tags would get drowned out in the laughter of all the people around you.

01:55:10.000 I tried tagging when I did my first Tonight Show.

01:55:12.000 I tried tagging, you know.

01:55:17.000 Like I said, I got lost.

01:55:18.000 Other than Burbank.

01:55:20.000 It's Burbank, people.

01:55:21.000 But you don't tag like you're in a club, you know?

01:55:24.000 I remember learning that lesson, TV. But you're absolutely right.

01:55:28.000 Gavin was rapid fire.

01:55:31.000 I remember watching him at Knicks.

01:55:32.000 I came in when I first thought of comedy.

01:55:35.000 And I step in the door.

01:55:36.000 He's on stage.

01:55:37.000 And I'm like, is he dying?

01:55:39.000 Everybody was doubled over in the audience. 0.99

01:55:42.000 I thought he was fucking dying. 0.99

01:55:43.000 All of a sudden, you know... 1.00

01:55:44.000 You couldn't hear any laughter.

01:55:45.000 All of a sudden, a huge roar.

01:55:46.000 I mean, because he would tag, like you said, tag a joke 11 times.

01:55:49.000 Yeah.

01:55:50.000 And people are still dying from the laugh.

01:55:51.000 They were literally bent over.

01:55:53.000 Nothing was coming out of them.

01:55:54.000 I'm like...

01:55:54.000 He was shaking the rafters.

01:55:56.000 They couldn't breathe.

01:55:56.000 Yeah.

01:55:57.000 I think we got a chance to see some guys that are probably some of the best comics of all time and people don't know.

01:56:03.000 You know, I think between Sweeney and Gavin and Lenny and those guys that we saw when they were in their prime in the 80s.

01:56:09.000 Kenny Rogers.

01:56:10.000 Yeah, Kenny.

01:56:11.000 When we were coming up, those guys were in their prime and when we were young, we got a chance to see, I think, some of the greatest of all time.

01:56:17.000 No doubt about it.

01:56:18.000 But they got stuck.

01:56:20.000 Well, the guys at Knicks put them on a contract for a while too, remember?

01:56:23.000 They gave them good money and coke.

01:56:25.000 Yeah, they...

01:56:27.000 They were making...

01:56:28.000 I remember Gav telling me they were making three grand a weekend and not having to leave your city.

01:56:34.000 Making road money and, like you said, some parks on the side.

01:56:38.000 Free booze.

01:56:39.000 All that.

01:56:40.000 Yeah, all that.

01:56:41.000 They all live great.

01:56:42.000 Did they ever.

01:56:43.000 But in the long run, you know... 0.99

01:56:46.000 Well, in the long run, it was a problem, but we got to see some crazy fucking comedy. 0.96

01:56:50.000 I remember some of those nights at Nick's Comedy Stop, when you watch those guys get, I remember Sweeney killing so hard, you almost wanted to quit comedy. 0.97

01:56:58.000 I know.

01:56:58.000 There's no way I could do that.

01:56:59.000 Well, I had to follow the fucking guy. 0.99

01:57:01.000 Gavin would, in Boston back then, you know, Don Gavin Show, he would be the host. 0.99

01:57:07.000 Sweeney.

01:57:07.000 No, Gavin would be the host.

01:57:09.000 Yeah, he would start off the show.

01:57:10.000 Yeah.

01:57:10.000 That was a different thing about Boston, too, right?

01:57:12.000 That's right.

01:57:13.000 Like, if you did the Nick DiPaolo show at Nick's Comedy Stop, you would start off the show.

01:57:16.000 That's right.

01:57:17.000 And what was crazy, it was great for young comic, but I had to follow Gavin.

01:57:21.000 Doing a tight 15. Jesus.

01:57:23.000 So it made me, you know, fucking... 0.99

01:57:27.000 You had to be able to hold your own, and they talk at 100 miles an hour, plus they're coked up, and they're really funny. 0.99

01:57:35.000 They're really funny, and they got heavy Boston accents, and they're big men.

01:57:39.000 They're like big, imposing people.

01:57:40.000 Oh, yeah.

01:57:41.000 And they would destroy some guy who came in. 0.98

01:57:43.000 I remember a guy, something gold, Ronnie Gold from New York, had just done his first Tonight Show and shit. 0.93

01:57:48.000 And he was coming to Knicks for the weekend, and everybody was dropping in. 0.80

01:57:51.000 Gavin would do 10. Chance Lang doing all of his guitar, and literally gets a standing ovation.

01:57:57.000 Here's Ronnie Gold!

01:57:58.000 Five minutes into it.

01:57:59.000 Cricket, people, cricket, cricket. 1.00

01:58:01.000 Angry fucking Irish kids with their blonde eyebrows. 1.00

01:58:03.000 You fucking suck! 1.00

01:58:04.000 Yeah, I remember that. 1.00

01:58:05.000 That was a tough room if you were having a bad set.

01:58:07.000 Well, they would do it to the people on purpose.

01:58:10.000 They would do it to anybody from out of town that had a big attitude and a Hollywood resume.

01:58:14.000 They did it to Billy Crystal.

01:58:15.000 They lit Billy Crystal up in that room.

01:58:17.000 Well, that I understand.

01:58:18.000 Yeah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

01:58:20.000 They did it to everybody, though.

01:58:22.000 It was crazy to watch.

01:58:23.000 Well, yeah.

01:58:23.000 They were like, these guys, we're as funny as them.

01:58:26.000 We're going to punish them.

01:58:27.000 And they would.

01:58:28.000 You know who they didn't do it to?

01:58:29.000 Dom Herrera.

01:58:30.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:58:31.000 Dom Herrera went up there like a fucking champ and just rode the wave. 1.00

01:58:34.000 Yes, he would. 1.00

01:58:35.000 He just kept that wave going.

01:58:35.000 He's that funny.

01:58:36.000 Yeah.

01:58:36.000 I went on Comics Come Home a couple years ago.

01:58:39.000 No, not the last one.

01:58:41.000 The one before that.

01:58:42.000 And Dom had to close the show.

01:58:45.000 And it was a murder's row.

01:58:47.000 Bobby Kelly. 1.00

01:58:48.000 Fucking me. 1.00

01:58:49.000 Billy Burr. 1.00

01:58:50.000 Taking the roof off the dump, and I'm like, Dom has to close this.

01:58:54.000 And he's as funny as anybody, but I'm just saying.

01:58:56.000 How's he gonna?

01:58:57.000 He goes up there, and he did something self-deprecating.

01:59:02.000 It gets a nice line.

01:59:03.000 Within a minute and a half, he had them, and there was no drop-off.

01:59:07.000 There was no drop-off in response.

01:59:09.000 I went home. 0.99

01:59:10.000 I didn't realize he was that fucking good. 0.99

01:59:13.000 Oh, he's still that good. 0.99

01:59:14.000 Dom Herrera has not lost his step.

01:59:16.000 Brilliant, funny guy.

01:59:16.000 I see him at the store all the time.

01:59:18.000 Yeah.

01:59:19.000 Quit drinking.

01:59:21.000 Told me he quit drinking for two months.

01:59:22.000 Very happy for him.

01:59:23.000 Yeah, I saw he has hands with like shaking.

01:59:26.000 He has a nerve issue.

01:59:28.000 It's actually, it goes from his shoulder all the way down to his arm.

01:59:31.000 Yeah.

01:59:32.000 Mushrooms.

01:59:33.000 That'll help him?

01:59:33.000 Or hurt him?

01:59:34.000 No, hurt him.

01:59:34.000 That's what he said.

01:59:35.000 Ah, shit. 1.00

01:59:35.000 He told me that's what... 1.00

01:59:37.000 God damn it, now that you brought it up. 1.00

01:59:40.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:59:40.000 Dude, we honestly better get you out of here. 1.00

01:59:43.000 Look, I said before, anytime.

01:59:45.000 Joey.

01:59:45.000 Come on by.

01:59:46.000 I would.

01:59:48.000 I mean, this shows as powerful as anything out there.

01:59:51.000 TV, radio.

01:59:52.000 And that flight just makes me mentally ill.

01:59:54.000 I get it. 0.96

01:59:55.000 I fucking almost started crying halfway out here. 0.99

01:59:58.000 I just got a guy next to me sucking on a straw like a six-year-old. 0.99

02:00:02.000 With ice in his glasses, nothing in it.

02:00:04.000 It's 110 degrees.

02:00:06.000 On the plane? 1.00

02:00:07.000 Baby behind me screaming like somebody was using the soft spot in his head for a fucking ashtray. 1.00

02:00:11.000 I can't make this shit up. 1.00

02:00:13.000 I almost fucking... 1.00

02:00:14.000 I was almost crying. 0.99

02:00:15.000 But you know what?

02:00:16.000 I gotta come out here more than once every two years.

02:00:18.000 Yeah.

02:00:19.000 If you'll have me.

02:00:19.000 Come out, yeah.

02:00:20.000 And next time...

02:00:21.000 I gotta show tonight the improv at any time.

02:00:23.000 I know.

02:00:24.000 Anytime you want.

02:00:24.000 Come do a show someday.

02:00:25.000 We'll do it.

02:00:26.000 I'll be in traffic with the rest of the world.

02:00:28.000 Can I plug a couple?

02:00:29.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:00:29.000 Tell anybody where you are.

02:00:30.000 My podcast.

02:00:32.000 Just go to nickdip.com.

02:00:34.000 And Monday through Thursday at 6 p.m.

02:00:37.000 Eastern.

02:00:38.000 It streams live for free on Monday and Wednesdays.

02:00:41.000 And I just shot a thing called Stickman in October.

02:00:44.000 It's about an instructional baseball clinic.

02:00:47.000 You know Adam Ray, the comedian?

02:00:49.000 Yeah.

02:00:49.000 He's in it.

02:00:50.000 Okay, cool.

02:00:51.000 Andrew Parisi wrote it.

02:00:53.000 And Andrew's partner already sold some stuff to Netflix, so we're hoping.

02:01:07.000 It's a good spot.

02:01:13.000 Good food.

02:01:15.000 And what am I forgetting?

02:01:16.000 I know I'm forgetting something.

02:01:19.000 Instagram and Twitter, all that stuff.

02:01:20.000 Instagram and Twitter, but go to nickdip.com.

02:01:23.000 The show's growing leaps and bounds.

02:01:24.000 I'm shooting a special in March at Cohoes Hall in New York.

02:01:28.000 I think I'm just going to put that one out there.

02:01:29.000 Use your, what you told me.

02:01:31.000 Just flood the market with it.

02:01:32.000 Not even charge people.

02:01:33.000 Just flood it.

02:01:34.000 Right?

02:01:34.000 Flood it.

02:01:35.000 Get it out there.

02:01:36.000 Because my stand-up is still my thing.

02:01:37.000 All right.

02:01:38.000 Love you, man.

02:01:39.000 I love you too, brother.

02:01:39.000 Love you, Joe.

02:01:40.000 Always good to see you.

02:01:41.000 Same here.

02:01:41.000 Nick DiPaolo, ladies and gentlemen.

02:01:43.000 Woo! 0.99

02:01:46.000 I'm so nervous.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 25, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1232 - Nick Di Paolo

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