Comedian Luis Gomez joins Jemele to discuss his new Netflix show, The Office, and the death of his dog, Stan Hope's old dog. Plus, the guys talk about the worst thing they've ever done to a dog, and why they don't want to live in a big house like Stan Hope and his daughter did. And, of course, there's a special guest appearance from the one and only Joe Pesci. This episode was produced by Riley Bray and edited by Annie-Rose Strasser. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Art: Mackenzie Moore Music: Hayden Coplen Editor: Patrick Muldowney Mixer: Will Witwer Thanks to our sponsor, for the intro and outro music, and for the outro, which was written and performed by Bobby Lord. Thanks also to and . for producing the music for this episode, and thanks to , and , for providing the sound design, and & if you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast, and tell a friend about what you think of the podcast! and we'll be listening to it in the next week's episode! Subscribe to the podcast. Subscribe on Podchaser.fm! Thanks for listening and sharing it on iTunes, and share it on your thoughts on the pod! or share it with your friends! Thank you for listening to the pod, and spreading the word around the pod? by clicking on it on social media! <3, and Good vibes, and good vibes everywhere else! XOXOXOXO Love Ghostz and Good Luck, bye, bye! -PODCASTING, PODCAST CHECK OUT THE PODCASTS AND GASTROOD -GOT A GOOD MONEY, GOSTROOSY, GOOGLE, JUICY, BABY, RYANCHOR, JAY & GOSCHO CHEESE, GASTERO, GABE, AND POTTERY, AND DOGS XO, JOSEPH, AND KELLY, SONGS, AND MORE!
00:00:51.000But I almost feel like I've made it a joke at this point to correct everyone that doesn't say the J. So if I didn't correct you, I wouldn't be being true to myself.
00:01:03.000We've talked about this ad nauseum on the podcast, but I think this is one of the most unique times for networks of comedians, that we're all connected together in a way that we weren't really before.
00:01:14.000It was always like East Coast versus West Coast for some stupid fucking reason.
00:01:18.000There was always this debate where the best comics are from and the style of comedy, but that shit seems to be out the window.
00:03:34.000And it's sad, and I'm not one of these anti-pit bull people, but I do understand when you see irresponsible owners, it's not the dog, you have an asshole, some fucking kid who doesn't know how to train a pit bull the proper way, an animal that can literally kill somebody,
00:03:49.000and you see them, they maul children, and they, you know, And it's such a sad thing, so I get terrified.
00:03:57.000Anytime I see my kid, I walk through the streets of New York City with him.
00:04:00.000I live in Harlem, so every other block is like the hood, and then it's nice, and then it's the hood.
00:05:03.000Because people always debate, like, oh, who's got hotter chicks in New York or L.A.? And the answer is L.A. But in New York, you're going to see them.
00:05:10.000In New York, like, you walk down the street, me and Ari did, he does a podcast every year called Happy Boobie Day, and we did it last year at the Legion of Skanks, and all it is, Happy Boobie Day, it's today, to be honest with you, it's the first, it's the first, like, days of spring, usually end of March,
00:05:26.000beginning of April, and it's the first day that girls wear, like, mini skirts out, and their tits are just hanging out, and we literally just walked through the streets following hot chicks, commenting, it was the most, I mean, you literally, I don't even know I don't even know how we have careers at all.
00:08:15.000He says something very funny about some other news anchor, that this is all the men that are going to be left if radical feminists take over the world.
00:08:37.000Well, they're doing probably the smarter move because we're going down a path where I don't think they're saying, oh, the pendulum will swing back and we're going to eventually be able to celebrate rape culture again.
00:10:01.000Boxers just in general, like, you know, we obviously both watch a lot of MMA. I don't really watch boxing, but now that I'm a pretty big MMA fan, I watch boxing in a different...
00:10:15.000I remember one time we did a street promotion.
00:10:17.000I was running street teams in New York City for comedy clubs, even before I started comedy.
00:10:22.000And we did a thing where we got boxing gloves and headgear, and we just went out and we were challenging people to come in and just box, and if they could beat me in a boxing match.
00:10:29.000I've never fucking trained a day in my life, but if they could just simply beat me in a boxing match, they got free tickets to the show that night.
00:10:34.000It was just a way to generate a crowd, and my street team guys were selling tickets to people trying to go to a dumb comedy show.
00:13:54.000That's the difference between kids who will do karate and kick a board.
00:13:58.000There's also the kids that are just from the hood that have been being punched in the face by their uncles and fathers since they were a baby.
00:14:33.000If you get in street fights all the time, if you run other kids get in street fights, people show you how to do things, you learn things.
00:14:39.000There's a lot of kids that are 10, 11 years old that live in poor neighborhoods, whether it's South Boston or South Side of Chicago, whatever, any dangerous neighborhood that's filled with poverty.
00:14:50.000Those kids will be more apt to succeed in fights.
00:15:22.000I'm not a hip-hop fan at all, but apparently it was very positive, like anti-violence.
00:15:27.000It wasn't like a thuggy rapper that was promoting drug dealing and gang violence, which I don't really know if even people do that as much anymore.
00:15:37.000I don't know, but by all accounts, this guy was loved.
00:18:01.000And I, you know, I grew up, my mom was extremely abusive, you know, and I grew up with around a ton of violence, a ton of physical and emotional abuse, verbal abuse, always the threat of violence, the drop of a hat.
00:18:14.000It was always immediately to, I'll beat the shit out of you if you don't do what I say, even if she wasn't being violent.
00:18:53.000If they don't understand why, you know, that just in general in life, people just in general, if they understand why something, there's a real purpose there and then they do what they're doing You know, with that purpose in mind.
00:19:03.000And I think when little kids, they're so malleable, and sometimes it's annoying for them to ask why two or three times, and it's easy to lose your patience.
00:19:13.000But what you realize is what you're, you know, that's, you know, I'm a piece of shit, I'll admit, I'm the first one to admit it, but the only good thing I do, I think, is the fact that I'm creating this good little person.
00:19:21.000He's a really good, sweet person that I think is going to be all the shit that I didn't really have or all the good qualities that I think I could have maybe had if I was raised the right way.
00:21:59.000And I think my mom was 18 when she had my sister.
00:22:04.000Yeah, it's just the act of when you started, if you started at 20, if you started at 40, the act of raising another human being, it just changes who the fuck you are.
00:23:35.000It's sort of intoxicating and it's fun.
00:23:38.000Most people don't have real opinions on anything and then you have this...
00:23:43.000You know, on Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media platform, you have an immediate gratification of like, I just got 20 likes on a thought of mine?
00:24:00.000As soon as you put your computer or your phone down, nobody gives a fuck about any of these issues at the supermarket or at the bowling alley or at the library.
00:24:06.000Some people do, but that's not what's important.
00:24:08.000What's important is the internet is essentially the whole world is a big window and everyone has a rock.
00:24:18.000And if you find a thing to throw a rock about, whether it's to throw a rock about politics or gender or race or social justice or, you know, fill in the blank, the environment, saving the animals,
00:24:39.000Well, you would think that you would want, in an ideal world, you would want people that have differing ideas to come together, sit down, have an honest conversation, and go, awesome, dude.
00:25:03.000In a weird way, I think it's – I'm proud to be an American.
00:25:06.000I'm proud – I don't think all the things that people think that are awful about this country are necessarily awful.
00:25:14.000I think the opportunity to make money – I did grow up on wealth and I grew up poor and I'm – You know, for all intents and purposes, I'm living my dream right now, and I get to kind of do what I want to do.
00:25:26.000And I look at that and I say, it's because I live in a place where that opportunity is there.
00:25:58.000You don't want to diminish the quality of life for everyone in the country, but you don't want to not let people in because that's what the country is based on.
00:26:05.000And when you see these fenced in people, and where is it?
00:26:09.000There was something that they had on the news where they showed all these people fenced in, in what looks like a dog kennel, and these people that snuck across the border and they captured them, so they just put them in this fucking outdoor fenced in cage.
00:26:22.000Like, dude, we don't even do that to violent murderers.
00:26:45.000But anybody who is up in arms about immigrants coming into this country, most of the time they're also on one side of the political spectrum on every other issue.
00:26:54.000It's not like it's an independent thought.
00:29:38.000When you're going through Rome and you go through the Vatican and you see there are billions of dollars, literally billions of dollars in artwork, you're like, holy shit!
00:29:50.000This culture, all they wanted to do was create beautiful architecture, create beautiful art, make wine, amazing food, have sex, fuck like crazy, and kind of take over the world.
00:30:01.000I mean, they took over the world for a long-ass time.
00:30:06.000But now, today, there's not much opportunity.
00:30:08.000If you want to drive a cab, make some tomato sauce.
00:30:10.000Dude, I was driving with this cab driver with my kids in the car, and this guy slowed down to check out this chick's ass and yelled out the window at her.
00:32:44.000But I go there now, and the steam room, and I mean this.
00:32:48.000I would say one out of eight times that I go in the steam room, a man will do almost like a presenting type thing where he's trying to fish for me to suck his dick.
00:32:59.000I guess the famous story was sort of tapping the foot under the stall, but it's not that.
00:33:04.000They open their towel, and they kind of make eye contact with you.
00:34:16.000And in a weird way, because here's the thing, you can't...
00:34:19.000You can't just start beating somebody up for that, right?
00:34:21.000You can't even threaten violence for it.
00:34:23.000It's a weird thing and you feel very defenseless.
00:34:26.000It's the first time I truly was like, oh, I kind of get what women are talking about.
00:34:30.000Because you feel violated and you can't really do much.
00:34:34.000I've had it happen and I could beat the guy up.
00:34:38.000I have had it happen where it was a guy that was not physically a threat to me and it still made me super uncomfortable and I felt really weak.
00:35:33.000If the roles were reversed, if it was me aggressively coming on to this guy who never worked out a day in his life, it would be terrifying.
00:37:35.000I always feel like that whenever I talk to people that are really smart.
00:37:37.000Like if I have a Sean Carroll or a Neil Grass Tyson or someone on the podcast, you talk to them and you're just like, God damn, I'm fucking stupid.
00:39:04.000The story was they could have had Hickson, but he was too athletic and too...
00:39:07.000There's a bunch of issues, and I would not want to say exactly what happened for fear of upsetting either side, because I think there's two different stories.
00:39:17.000But he was essentially the champion of the family.
00:39:21.000And one of the thoughts was that it would be more impressive if Hoist did it, because Hoist was only 175 pounds, and with his shirt off, he looked like he was fit, but looked like a volleyball player or something.
00:39:49.000So it wasn't as good of an advertisement for, you know.
00:39:52.000It wasn't necessarily true, though, because there was also talk that no one can control Hickson and didn't want Hickson to win, because Hickson is a, he's like a free spirit, like in the greatest sense of the word, like legitimately.
00:40:02.000He might throw his phone in the ocean and disappear for a month and just fucking surf and do jujitsu somewhere.
00:40:47.000And Hickson was the guy that everybody knew that if something happened and then Hoist was out of the UFC or there was no other Gracies in the UFC, Hickson is always there to step in.
00:41:01.000And we were always wondering, when is he going to step in?
00:41:03.000When is he going to fight the best guys?
00:42:48.000You know, it's, uh, he's always in control.
00:42:52.000Like, you're in, and everything is, like, if you roll with a black belt, it's actually safer than rolling with, like, a really strong blue belt or a purple belt, because they're just trying to kill you.
00:43:00.000They just want those, they want those tap points.
00:43:42.000And every time I would do it, he would just not let me do it and just fucking flop me on my ass.
00:43:47.000And one time I tried to do it, and when I went to go take him down, he jerked me in the other direction, and my shoulder literally just popped out altogether.
00:48:53.000And if you could learn two or three techniques and have a real high-level proficiency if you just continue to drill them and understand the counters, he's not doing a lot of crazy shit inside the octagon when it comes to wrestling.
00:51:08.000I wanted to see what it was all about.
00:51:10.000And as I was walking upstairs, there was this guy named John Lee, who was a national champion at the time and one of the best black belts this guy, Jay Kim, ever produced.
00:51:37.000And I was as close to him doing that as Jamie is to me right now.
00:51:41.000Because there was like a little wall and there was a heavy bag there.
00:51:44.000And the way Mr. Kim and Mr. O'Malley, Michael O'Malley, who was also the head instructor while Mr. Kim was gone.
00:51:51.000They set up the bags right there because they knew that if people were coming in thinking about signing up and a guy like John Lee is kicking the bag, you're like, I want to do that.
00:54:58.000Well, actually, we ADD'd that story, but I was saying when we did that promotion in the street in New York City where we put the headgear on the gloves, a little Mexican kid comes up.
00:55:08.000Doggy, this kid was 123 pounds soaking wet.
00:55:12.000Little Mexican kid comes up, and I'm like, I'm my size, you know, I'm 20 at the time, maybe 21 or whatever, but I'm just like, you know, by the way, I had never thrown a punch in my life.
00:55:21.000Now that I actually watch fighting and understand a little bit as a fan, like, I didn't know how to stand, I had no idea.
00:55:27.000Dude, this Mexican kid, he came up, he just faked a body shot and hit me with a hook, and I remember it...
00:55:35.000It felt like, because there was no adrenaline.
00:57:17.00030 seconds later, you got a bloody nose, your lips bleeding a little now, you got something over your eye.
00:57:21.000You don't think about it, but you got hit in the head 30 times.
00:57:24.000You never got dropped, so you're like, I'm fine.
00:57:26.000I didn't take any damage, but you did.
00:57:27.000You just don't think of that as damage.
00:57:29.000And now they're understanding that that is as much of what you're seeing from CTEs, that sub-concussive trauma, probably more so because it's so frequent.
00:59:12.000Why don't we hear any Mies 2 stories about...
00:59:15.000We were talking about Molly Crew a second ago.
00:59:16.000How are we not hearing crazy Mies 2 stories about shit with rock bands in the 80s and 70s?
00:59:23.000I think because everybody knew what they were getting into.
00:59:27.000I think they knew they were getting into a lot of times now.
00:59:30.000But it's just, you think that at least somebody would want to come out and go like, oh, just so you know, Guns N' Roses ran a train on me in 1987. FYI. And I was really intoxicated.
01:00:54.000I mean, I'm of the Steven Pinker view of progress that I think that, although the world is not perfect, I think it's just way better than it's ever been before.
01:01:54.000Yeah, I mean, people, there's a lot of this nonsense, like, energy on social media, where people are just arguing about things all day long, insulting people all day long, and that shit is so bad for your head, to engage in that all day.
01:02:46.000There's part of me as well, like I've gotten, you know, you get so much shit eventually, you sort of get desensitized to it so that you don't really, I mean, you're fucking famous.
01:03:48.000You know, if you're really into Fleetwood Mac, and someone tries playing, you know, some Led Zeppelin, and you're not into it, and you get angry, okay, that's not your fault.
01:03:58.000It's just like, that's not what you're into.
01:04:00.000If someone comes to see you, and they go, oh, this guy's just not for me.
01:04:03.000But then some 25-year-old guy is like, ah, I love it!
01:04:38.000You're either doing one or two things.
01:04:40.000Either your ego is so inflated you think you're going to correct this person and you're going to stop their jokes in its tracks and they're going to realize the error of their ways and it's going to make them a better person.
01:04:48.000And you're going to also educate this entire crowd that's been laughing at this awful stuff.
01:04:52.000That's a foolhardy way of looking at stuff.
01:04:55.000Also, if you know the way comedy works, you realize you just pissed off the comic because now he's going, fuck, dude, I'm working on this bit.
01:05:00.000Now, I have a new way of wording this tonight, and now I want to do it a certain way, and you just went and fucked that up, you asshole.
01:05:07.000And maybe, maybe I'm going to get there.
01:05:09.000Maybe I'm going to get to a place where you actually enjoy the joke, you dickhead, but you've ruined it now.
01:05:14.000Well, the thing is, people see, every time you're on stage, they see you as this is a finished product you're presenting.
01:05:21.000What they don't understand is, and I'm hoping people get it more now than they ever did before, but some people still don't get it.
01:05:27.000The way we work stuff out is by trying it on stage, and sometimes we take chances.
01:06:41.000And jokes, whether they're good or bad, they all come from the same place.
01:06:44.000It's this idea, and I'm like, well, I want to, I want to, this is something funny, and I'm going to go turn it into something that's going to hopefully make people laugh.
01:06:50.000The end result is very much a net positive, a room of people laughing.
01:07:16.000And so, like, I mean, you don't have to laugh.
01:07:18.000Like, I know it's not funny if it comes out wrong.
01:07:20.000But if you get mad at someone for something that's not done yet.
01:07:24.000But there's, you know, there are points in time where someone can say something that's so egregiously incorrect that at the very least you want to leave the room.
01:07:42.000I was bored if I thought it was stupid, if it was insulting to my intelligence, if I was frustrated listening to this idiot talk on stage, I would leave the room.
01:10:22.000I joke around about this all the time because it's one of the things that freaks me out more than anything about what people do on the planet.
01:13:20.000But apparently when they get it fresh, like if they shoot an alligator and then they take the back straps off of it and they cook it correctly, it's delicious.
01:13:29.000But it's one of those things that when you get it at a restaurant, unless it's a legit restaurant, they're probably serving you some frozen nonsense.
01:15:00.000So, you know, I'm supposed to bring my kid to Disney in July, and there was a story about the alligator who grabbed the little kid and dragged him into the...
01:15:15.000So if you have a body of water and you're not standing there 24-7 with a fucking spotlight and a rifle, those cunts can sneak into that water.
01:16:36.000It lets you know, like, oh my god, the future of these fucking rides.
01:16:40.000It's like one of those, like, virtual reality.
01:16:42.000Yeah, it's like where you see crazy shit and you're moving.
01:16:45.000Yes, you put on this helmet, and the helmet is a virtual reality goggle, and it straps you into this chair, and this chair looks like a motorcycle, and you look down, and you are riding this dragon.
01:17:53.000It remains the most expensive amusement park ride of all time and actually costs twice as much as Jurassic Park the movie.
01:17:59.000I would have guessed more than $55 million.
01:18:01.000Whoever made that Whoever made that right now has a bottle of champagne in one hand, a Coke tray in the other, and they're living in the Bahamas and some shit just laughing about how they got $110 million to make this shitty-ass ride, and they're just living like a baller.
01:19:53.000I was listening to the radio in Utah, and they were talking about how they have to figure out what to do with their drug-sniffing dogs now.
01:20:09.000Because it was funny listening to this old dude on, just for the fuck of it, I was listening to AM radio, talk radio, and this old dude was talking about how they're going to decommission some of these drug sniffing dogs because they'd use them on traffic stops.
01:20:51.000The Alzheimer's, the people that have all these serious issues that CBD is fixing, arthritis patients...
01:20:57.000People with real problems that are not finding any other solution that works the way cannabis does, they're just giving in.
01:21:04.000And then they're making all this money.
01:21:05.000But then you see these old folks that are from a different time, and they're talking about it.
01:21:10.000And they look at it in terms of how many police jobs are going to go away, how many dogs are going to be decommissioned.
01:21:16.000Well, none of them smoke weed, so they're like, it's not really my problem.
01:21:19.000But it's interesting to watch them look at it as an economic issue.
01:21:22.000The problem is you have potheads that are leading the charge, so for a long time it was difficult to take him serious.
01:21:28.000You needed straight-laced guys to come in, and now there's a lot of money there.
01:21:32.000There's so much money in it that you're getting that, but when you have fucking hippies playing hacky sack and wearing puka shell necklaces, it's sort of hard to take them seriously, when the reality is they kind of want it to be legalized for recreational purposes.
01:23:28.000So it's like edible, like marijuana mixed with CBD. A lot of people find great benefit in that for some reason.
01:23:35.000Yeah, I had to trick my aunt, because my aunt's so anti-drugs, and if I told her that CBD was derived from hemp, she wouldn't take it, but she has bad arthritis, and I gave it to her for that, and she loves it, and then I told her after the fact, but it's grabbing due to...
01:23:49.000It's just a plant, folks, and if you just get straight CBD, it has no psychoactive properties.
01:23:54.000The only thing it's going to do is, for some folks, and it works a little bit that way with me, it alleviates some anxiety, it just relaxes you.
01:24:41.000When I go to the airport, every time I come back into the country, I am pulled into a room and they look like they're about to fist fuck me with a rubber glove.
01:25:14.000We're not talking about like I have an ounce that I just bought from my dealer and they found a large amount on me.
01:25:18.000A joint smoking on the street, what they do is they, at first they take the weed and And they go, alright, we're just going to give you a ticket.
01:25:35.000They used to have sweet nights in New York where all it was was they would go and try to find kids smoking weed Drunk kids, college kids pissing in public, public intoxication, and the entire night they would just pick up everybody and fill up paddy wagons and create criminals.
01:25:51.000Just create criminals out of teenagers, you know, and they were targeting, this is why the stop and frisk laws happened in New York, they changed it because they were just targeting black and Hispanic kids.
01:26:00.000Because they were like, oh, come here, let me see what's in your pockets.
01:26:02.000Vastly disproportionate numbers of them being stopped and frisked versus white kids.
01:26:06.000And everybody's got weed in their pocket in New York City, okay?
01:29:54.000Don't start talking shit to another dude that...
01:29:58.000You're putting him in a situation that maybe he doesn't want to be in, and you're never going to know whether or not he wants to be in that situation.
01:30:04.000You're never going to get the honest story, what's going on in his fucking mind right there.
01:30:07.000Just know we never want you to start talking shit to a dude in the middle of an altercation, because it's never going to end good.
01:30:42.000Kevin James, when he was a kid, when he was a bouncer in Long Island, one of the guys at the bar, I don't think he was working that night, but one of the guys he knew and worked with knocked a guy out.
01:30:51.000The guy fell, hit his head off a curb, dead.
01:32:25.000Falling backwards, though, is something, especially when you get hit, you get fucking clipped on the chin, your head snaps, and your lights shut off, and you just fall and bounce.
01:32:46.000That's why I watched that Fight Science thing back in the day that they were doing on Spike TV. It was like a show called, I think it was called Fight Science.
01:32:52.000And they were just explaining why ground and pound was so much more brutal than a straight up standing punch.
01:32:59.000And they showed the 3D animation of the head, and the fist coming down, and then the head bouncing off the mat, and then the brain bouncing off the front, then bouncing to the back, then the fist comes back up again, and your brain is just being over and over again.
01:33:57.000Whenever with my son, because there's just like a lot of, there's a weird thing in New York as well where there's like a lot of tough guys that, it's like this alpha energy where you'll get on the subway and there's another dude who like makes eye contact with you and you're like weirdly like you're in a weird beef now because you're just looking at a dude in the eyes.
01:34:14.000And then it becomes a thing where you have to look away.
01:34:17.000You have this internal struggle where you're going like, well, no, I'm not going to look away because this guy's looking at me.
01:34:23.000And then I look at my kids right there, and I'm going like, what is even going on in my head right now?
01:34:28.000I need to just go to another subway car.
01:34:30.000Just avoid, at all costs, Having to get into a confrontation in front of him, because that's one of my biggest fears in the world, is not knowing what to do.
01:34:39.000There's people that live in Montana that are listening to this right now, they're like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:34:44.000You look each other in the eye, and someone wants to fight for no reason?
01:34:47.000This is the nature of being penned up.
01:34:50.000That many people, there's something cool about it.
01:34:53.000The cool thing we talked about before, that people are like, you're exposed, even if you're a poor kid, you're exposed to rich people.
01:37:49.000He's just begging, and he was essentially saying there's nothing wrong with it, it's totally legal, and I just make up stories and have people donate money to me, and I think of it as like an occupation.
01:38:00.000So it was weird listening to him talk about it, because he was telling this lady, who was the reporter lady, he was telling her how she could do it too, and how he was doing it, and how he shows people how to do it.
01:40:55.000Instead of sort of adding emotion to it and changing the story and doing all these different things and putting too much thought into it, you go, I'm just going to run the script and close one out of 20 people that walk by.
01:41:48.000He was known as the rapping bum or help is on the way.
01:41:51.000For like 15, 20 years at Ohio State, this guy would be on the high street, which is like the main strip, and he had all these rhymes he would constantly go to.
01:42:00.000It always ended with help is on the way, but I don't remember a lot of them.
01:42:09.000I think someone actually recorded him at one point in like 2005 or 6. You remember when they found that homeless dude that had that crazy radio voice?
01:43:34.000I've voiced over a couple things, but nothing serious.
01:43:37.000It's such a weird, like, other hustle.
01:43:39.000Like, you're like, that's a whole world in comedy where, like, guys are every day going out and doing voiceover auditions and trying to be a voice in some commercial.
01:43:52.000When I first started comedy, I started reading these, like, books on things you could do, because this is before podcasting was even a thing, and...
01:47:47.000Yeah, they rope you into it because he, like, Mitch Hedberg had a whole joke about it, about that comedy is one of the weird things that if you, like, do comedy, they expect you to also act.
01:51:51.000And I think putting in those little habits and just making it a genuine rule where you say, every morning I'm going to get up and I'm going to write for one hour.
01:52:57.000Well, it's like, I think the other thing is, with social media, you have the tendency to say, oh, I'm going to just tweet this.
01:53:03.000And then you don't really work the joke the same way you would if you were sitting down and trying to work a joke because you're trying to fit it into a certain amount of characters.
01:53:10.000You're trying to make it funny in a certain way when you're not going to get the maximum.
01:53:14.000And that's where I think a problem where I have where I'm like, oh, dude, I'll just go and tweet this or I'll put it on Instagram or whatever it is.
01:54:58.000With an editor, obviously, but you start to hate it, and the more time you have with it, you're taking more things out, and you're noticing more things wrong.
01:55:05.000You'll eventually whittle it down to nothing.
01:55:08.000Look, I think that's probably a good sign.
01:55:12.000My taste is better than I am as a comedian, substantially.
01:55:41.000Most people, even if you don't do stand-up, go listen back...
01:55:44.000Anybody older listening to this, think about when you still put answering machine messages, or you still do it with your voicemail.
01:55:49.000How many times do you go back and go, I sound like a fucking idiot, and you delete it again and again and again, and then you've done it 30 times.
01:55:54.000And, yeah, I think that's just sort of natural.
01:55:57.000Yeah, if you care about what you do, you're going to hate it.
01:56:01.000You know, Alexander Gustafson said something like that once.
01:56:04.000He's one of the UFC's top light heavyweights, and he was talking about being a professional fighter, that as a professional athlete, he was never satisfied.
01:57:16.000But that's the process that you have to go through.
01:57:20.000I think Stanhope yelled at a guy to stop coming and sitting in the front row because he did a second show and the guy was there for the second show too in the same spot.
01:57:32.000Yeah, it can definitely mess your head.
01:57:34.000The illusion of you being in the moment talking about these subjects is out the window if someone saw you do it the exact same way three hours ago.
01:57:42.000If you know the sleight of hand, it doesn't matter.
01:57:45.000If you know what's going to happen, you just see it every single time.
01:57:49.000But there's some people that love the process.
01:57:51.000I met these two ladies in Austin that travel around the world listening to stand-up.
01:57:56.000They went to see Ari in Iceland, and I think they saw him in the UK, too.
01:58:01.000They're like fans of the process of comedy.
01:58:04.000And they said that they were at the comedy store like a week before when I did a set there, and then they came to the shows in Austin because that's where they live.
01:58:12.000But they travel around watching comedy, and they wanted to talk about the process of it.
01:58:17.000It's really interesting because they'll get to see all these different sets.
01:58:20.000They'll get to see sets where things don't go so great, sets where you switch it up.
01:58:25.000You'll see that at the comedy store all the time.
01:58:27.000There's people that go there like two or three nights a week.
01:59:06.000I used to do a show called Hammerfisting.
01:59:08.000To give people, that's like watching Herschel Walker play football or get coached, like be on the field with him if you were a fan of football.
01:59:19.000I'm talking about like, as far as you guys are for me, I'm watching them train, I'm watching both of them give him, like, it was really cool.
02:02:06.000It's just an uncomfortable life, knowing that if you're eating something in public, that there are other people that are health conscious looking at you and judging you.
02:02:14.000And I know that because I've been on the other side.
02:02:16.000Because now when I watch fat people on the subway eating potato chips, I'm like, even if I'm fat, I'm just like, ugh, put them away.
02:03:53.000Also, trannies have great sense of humor.
02:03:55.000If you've ever hung out, a lot of them, every trans person that I know, and I'm friends with two that I'm pretty close with, and I know a handful, and they have great sense of humor.
02:10:01.000They show people who are really good typists how many words per minute they can do with a really good keyboard versus a flat, shallow keyboard.
02:10:08.000Even experienced, high-level typists are way better with something that has some travel to it.
02:10:14.000If I try to type on a regular keyboard right now, it would feel like it's an alien thing because I'm so used to it now.
02:11:07.000Like, they make it like a little game.
02:11:10.000Like, things will go across the screen, and you have to type it with your finger, and it shows you, like, a map of where your hands are in relationship to the keys, and it shows you, like, where you should move your fingers, and then there's something that will pop up, and you're like, oh, that's an L. Here's an L. And you'll start doing this, and as you're doing this,
02:11:26.000you get better and better, and then they ask you to start forming sentences, and after a while, you get, like, a really good sense of where the keys are.
02:11:34.000I almost felt like that game Guitar Hero, they should have made it with like a real guitar because I feel like they can teach people guitar.
02:11:40.000If they made it a game where they just started, you just sort of like have to hit those beats and then your finger starts getting used to it.
02:11:48.000I was in typing class in the sixth grade.
02:11:50.000This is a new thing I just discovered.
02:11:51.000It's called tap, like these little sensors you put on your fingers and you tap little gestures and it types for you so you don't need a keyboard anymore.
02:12:25.000Look, it's entirely possible that these typers, if you left them alone with one of those shallow keyboards, eventually they could get used to it, and they would put their numbers of words per minute just back up to where it was before.
02:12:38.000But for me, it's just an easier experience.
02:12:41.000I don't use any of the new technology like Alexa or those things.
02:12:57.000Everything we say, it's being picked up.
02:12:59.000Stores are eventually going to have just Alexa and their own versions of whatever that is where you just say it into the air and it's all listening and it's all going into a database and, you know, Eventually, I think what they're going to do is they're going to have the technology to go through podcasts and find the no-no words.
02:13:18.000They'll have an algorithm to go back and start listening to what you're not supposed to say.
02:13:21.000Start kicking old content off the internet.
02:14:55.000Say, hey man, I know you're gonna go rob this bank and it's really gonna fuck up your life and everybody else's life, so don't go robbing the bank.
02:15:01.000You're gonna have to get in a shootout with the cops.
02:15:56.000Andrew Yang, who's running for president on this universal basic income idea, one of the things he's doing this for is to educate people the fact that all these jobs are going away.
02:16:10.000Automation is going to take over many, many millions of jobs in this country, and we have to be prepared for all these people essentially being...
02:16:19.000You know, technologies remove them from the workforce.
02:17:22.000The thing is, it's happening so fast, people aren't going to be prepared for it.
02:17:25.000They're going to think that a certain amount of jobs are going to be available, and then a vast number of those are not going to be around anymore.
02:17:31.000So his idea is the way you bridge the gap is you give people something that meets their needs, like your need for food and shelter.
02:17:38.000Just give them enough so that everything else they make, they get to keep.
02:20:10.000On one hand, for the longest time, I think people didn't have as many opportunities.
02:20:19.000If you wanted to do something, no matter what it would be, whether it's a television show or you wanted to be a host of a talk show or whatever the fuck it was...
02:24:15.000But the point is that these companies, they're showing that they're understanding that there's something going on with the podcasting world.
02:24:23.000They're just throwing a lot of money at it.
02:24:25.000I mean, look, if they're buying really good companies and they're making really good podcasts, I'm happy.
02:24:40.000Maybe there's some sort of a grand plan.
02:24:43.000Maybe there's some sort of a podcast battle going on between Apple and Spotify and streaming services.
02:24:49.000Well, people are doing premium shit, too, where they're buying out podcasts and they're only putting it on where you have to be a subscriber for Spotify or whatever else it is.
02:24:59.000Which is strange because podcasts grow by sharing.
02:27:56.000I mean, once again, you know, you're sort of having three or four people that are really smart, that are good at radio, good at broadcasting as well, be able to react in real time.
02:28:06.000You're going to get these things you couldn't get anywhere else.
02:28:58.000If you talk to most 60-year-old Italian men in Long Island, they're going to have some fairly controversial views on race and politics in the country.
02:29:07.000And, you know, I think when he left SiriusXM, he leaned a little bit too much into the political side.
02:29:12.000And he sort of got, you know, now he's pegged as like a right-wing guy.
02:29:15.000But I'm a fucking Puerto Rican kid who was raised...
02:29:18.000Well, I think he's definitely right-wing.
02:30:42.000It's fucking great life beater on yeah, but look Patrice, you know I remember I I watch my son my son's mother was in labor for 30 hours fucking crazy long labor Overnight over the next morning.
02:30:54.000She's like lying down He's like in the little fucking other room or whatever and I'm watching like a fan-made Patrice O'Neill documentary and he's just saying like the most heinous shit about how women aren't shit and about how fucking Bitch, you know, she needs you.
02:31:08.000And I just watched my son's mother push my son out of her for 30 hours.
02:34:43.000Well, I've got to give it to Big J because he recognized it immediately and then every project we ever did since then has been named Legion of Skanks until the podcast worked.
02:35:04.000Well, it's what we were talking about earlier.
02:35:06.000Look, if you like punk rock, you should be able to listen to punk rock.
02:35:08.000But if you like the kind of comedy that some people like, aggressive, outlandish comedy, if that's what you like, then you should be able to enjoy it.
02:36:33.000How dare you try to pass that off to America?
02:36:36.000But I can't do the bit, but the bit's excellent.
02:36:40.000Remind me and I'll tell you it off because it's one of those premises, like once you say the premise.
02:36:45.000Yeah, so it has to be a very high level, but the woman in the crowd who was raped a month ago and was like, I'm going to go out, I'm going to go to a comedy club to feel better.
02:36:54.000She's not wrong if she's triggered, but she becomes wrong when she tries to Take away the experience from other people.
02:37:02.000You have to walk away, and you have every right, and I feel bad.
02:37:05.000I've had girls come up to me after shows and be like, hey, just so you know, that really bothers me.
02:37:47.000I don't want to ruin the bit either, but I think you have to...
02:37:51.000I respect the fact that people can be triggered, but it's a very strange thing to me because, for me, I'm always trying to find something really funny from this dark shit, right?
02:38:01.000Whether it's a personal experience or whatever it is.
02:38:03.000And the way we're looking at it as comics is we're trying to find something really positive out of something really shitty.
02:38:08.000And then you have a movie which is just...
02:38:59.000I will defend somebody's right to tell a shitty joke, you know what I'm saying?
02:39:02.000But, at the same time, I understand, as a performer, you have to gauge the audience and put your finger in the air and go, okay, which way is the wind blowing right now?
02:39:10.000The reality is you can't say things you used to say.
02:39:13.000You can't say faggot on stage anymore in a crowd in New York or L.A. You can't say that word.
02:39:18.000The crowd will tighten up and shut down.
02:39:19.000You'll ruin the rest of whatever that joke is.
02:39:22.000You obviously haven't seen Diaz recently.
02:40:16.000And I just don't think you ever get to tell people that you can't say certain words they used to be able to say all the time.
02:40:25.000You know, I mean, the idea behind those words is still the same.
02:40:29.000Like, if you say to someone, you shouldn't say retarded anymore, even though that used to be like a term that they would use for things being slower, like their growth being slower, their growth was retarded.
02:40:41.000But now if you even use it as a technical term, like, and the growth was retarded, people will get upset at you.
02:44:37.000It's almost like you're playing a game.
02:44:39.000You know, you're saying something shitty to them, and they say something back to you, shitty, and then they insult you, and you insult them, and you post a Google article that refutes their Google article.
02:45:00.000You could stumble across some brilliant piece of something on Twitter, and you definitely can learn something, and you definitely get some information that you didn't have before.
02:45:10.000You can also get sucked into some abortion debate that eats your life for the next seven days, and you start trying to figure out who's right or who's wrong, and what position to take.
02:45:23.000Most human subjects in that humans are so, we're so weird in so many ways.
02:45:31.000We're so unusual and irregular and we don't We're inconsistent in a lot of the ways we look at things, but the abortion one is a crazy one.
02:45:43.000You're literally talking about stopping a human life while it's inside of a person.
02:45:47.000And then you're talking about whether or not you have the decision to tell someone that they can stop a life inside of their body.
02:45:54.000And everybody's like, that's not what it is!
02:45:56.000And people try to redefine it in some strange way.
02:45:59.000Like, no, no, no, it's a woman's choice.
02:46:14.000It's a simple, clean thing in my mind in terms of what I'm able to tell anybody what to do, and I wouldn't want to.
02:46:22.000But if you just look as a human, if someone is having an abortion, and the baby is a healthy baby that's pretty close to being born, like, when is it okay?
02:46:34.000I think most people think it's okay when there's like two cells, right?
02:46:38.000There's only two cells, or four cells, and they start dividing.
02:46:44.000It's viable outside of the woman's body.
02:46:47.000And also, you think about this, like, whatever that line is, everyone, right, let's say you're pro-choice, you have a line where one second ago it wasn't okay, but in this exact second it is okay, which is sort of fucking crazy in itself, you know?
02:47:01.000Well, it's crazy in terms of if you talk about a late-term abortion.
02:47:09.000I mean, and this is a terrifying thing for people, this idea that We can make these decisions and rationalize them and decide for a person whether or not they should have to raise a child or whether they can stop it because it hasn't seen air yet.
02:48:03.000There's a lot of religious stuff attached to it.
02:48:06.000You know, people don't want anybody to enforce their own religious beliefs as to what abortion is.
02:48:10.000You know, and especially when you're dealing with something that's like just a week, two weeks, whatever it is.
02:48:16.000Like, people think of it as just a cluster of cells.
02:48:19.000Like, why is it so bad to stop this in its tracks?
02:48:22.000I mean, by the way, I also think of it as a cluster of cells, and if I had to put myself into a category, I would put myself into the pro-choice category.
02:50:46.000I'm looking up an article about it, and it just says that, like, especially in first-time mothers, stress and fear associated with rearing the babies can be too much to handle.
02:51:16.000Oh yeah, well the predators, you watch those predator shows where like a bunch of fucking hyenas, they're always looking for like a baby antelope.
02:51:58.000I think the way it's edited, he had to know.
02:52:01.000There's certain points in time where it's obvious comedic timing, the way he edited it.
02:52:05.000It seemed like a lot of it was tongue-in-cheek, but it's about a really crazy guy.
02:52:09.000Timothy Treadwell, who lived with the bears for hundreds and hundreds of days, and had all this video footage of him really close to big, giant grizzly bears and shit.