The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #134 - Kevin Smith (Part 3)

00:00:00.000 A lot of people, when they do stand-up, they do jokes.

00:00:03.000 There's very few people telling long stories like you do.

00:00:07.000 Yeah, they're the best. 1.00

00:00:08.000 My favorite shit was that. 1.00

00:00:09.000 Carlin was that. 1.00

00:00:11.000 Carlin would do both.

00:00:12.000 He would mix it up.

00:00:13.000 He'd do, well, not jokes, jokes, but he would do that.

00:00:15.000 Carlin would do one-liners.

00:00:16.000 He did whatever he thought was funny.

00:00:18.000 I loved Sam Kinison.

00:00:19.000 Bill Cosby, though, was probably the most influential.

00:00:22.000 Bill Cosby, and oddly enough, Spalding Gray, probably the most influential.

00:00:27.000 What happened to that guy?

00:00:28.000 Didn't he die?

00:00:28.000 He killed himself, unfortunately.

00:00:30.000 He killed himself.

00:00:30.000 I don't know if he can prove that sort of thing, but they think he drowned himself.

00:00:36.000 He threw himself off the ferry.

00:00:38.000 He obviously had a lot of issues and whatnot.

00:00:41.000 I used to enjoy his things, his readings.

00:00:44.000 If you've never listened to, you can listen to Terrors of Pleasure, Monster in a Box.

00:00:51.000 Of course, he came to prominence swimming to Cambodia. 0.98

00:00:56.000 But Monster in a Box is fucking riveting. 0.94

00:00:58.000 And it's literally a dude telling a long story. 0.94

00:01:02.000 And I loved it.

00:01:03.000 It's like an hour and a half, two hours maybe or something like that.

00:01:05.000 It's great to have something different like that.

00:01:07.000 You sit there and you can watch a video version of it that I believe exists, but I always listen to it.

00:01:13.000 And it was just magical, the idea of like a dude who's essentially telling one very long joke that has highs and lows, emotional beats, and makes you sad, and it gets real.

00:01:23.000 Like every once in a while, he throws, and you're laughing, and he'll just stop you dead, but like, my mother killed herself, you know, blah, blah, blah.

00:01:31.000 And he just derails the comedy. 0.99

00:01:33.000 And you forget, like, oh shit, this dude's not a comic. 0.99

00:01:35.000 He's literally storytelling. 0.99

00:01:37.000 And so I appreciated that, and I appreciated Bill Cosby.

00:01:40.000 One of my favorite comedy bits of all time is the one side of that album to Russell, my brother, who I slept with. 0.77

00:01:47.000 I don't know if you've ever heard it, but it's so fucking hysterical.

00:01:50.000 It's Bill Cosby's, I guess, how long was the side of a record back in the day? 0.95

00:01:54.000 40 minutes or something?

00:01:56.000 45. One side?

00:01:57.000 I don't remember.

00:01:57.000 30 minutes?

00:01:58.000 I don't remember.

00:01:58.000 Maybe 30?

00:01:59.000 Because you would flip sides when you had a good long record, right?

00:02:02.000 I want to say 30 minutes max.

00:02:04.000 I don't know.

00:02:05.000 But this piece...

00:02:06.000 We should Google this.

00:02:06.000 Somebody's got a computer in this room.

00:02:08.000 This piece is the whole side of an album.

00:02:10.000 And it's essentially him telling a story about him and his little brother trying to go to sleep.

00:02:17.000 When they were kids.

00:02:19.000 And the interplay with their father.

00:02:21.000 And it's spellbinding.

00:02:23.000 He paints the picture, puts you right there in the room.

00:02:26.000 He never curses, dude.

00:02:28.000 Never uses a sexual innuendo.

00:02:33.000 Nothing.

00:02:33.000 None of the tricks that...

00:02:35.000 If I had to do it straight like him, I could never have done it.

00:02:39.000 Still can't do it to this day.

00:02:40.000 And he drops science for that entire bit.

00:02:43.000 It is...

00:02:44.000 It's brilliant.

00:02:46.000 It's hysterical.

00:02:47.000 He's absolutely adorable as the kids, and he's playing both of them and stuff.

00:02:52.000 Do yourself a favor and listen to it.

00:02:53.000 That was very inspirational for me, too.

00:02:56.000 I was like, look, I could do this.

00:02:57.000 If this was kind of comedy, I think I could do this.

00:03:01.000 If you could tell long stories. 0.97

00:03:02.000 Even his Chicken Heart shit, the Go-Karts bit, his Fat Albert Buck Buck and the Ninth Street Bridge bit. 0.99

00:03:09.000 Bill Cosby's stuff is... 0.99

00:03:10.000 I know some people maybe aren't into him now, but...

00:03:13.000 Oh, my God.

00:03:14.000 Before he did that show, even now, go listen to the albums.

00:03:18.000 Apparently, even now, today, stand-up is still great.

00:03:21.000 I've heard people that, like, Chris Rock was on TV talking about it once, about how he'd just gone to see him.

00:03:26.000 And he was, I think it was in the movie Comedian, the Jerry Seinfeld movie, I think that's what it is, which wasn't that long ago, you know, 10 years ago.

00:03:32.000 He said that Cosby was still so sharp.

00:03:34.000 He said, he goes, Chris Rock, who's one of the greatest ever, was like, I feel like a fraud.

00:03:39.000 He goes, I feel like a fraud after watching him.

00:03:41.000 He goes, he just went up no opener for like two hours, and he did two shows.

00:03:46.000 You know, Bill Cosby is an elderly gentleman.

00:03:48.000 I was going to say, at this point, he's got to be like 70. But he's still up there killing it.

00:03:52.000 And the crazy thing is, I don't even think he goes anywhere to try his shit out. 0.99

00:03:56.000 I think he just writes it all down, writes it at home, you know, and then he even said it, like he does stand-up on The Tonight Show, and he literally doesn't practice the stand-up. 0.99

00:04:05.000 He goes, I know what's funny.

00:04:08.000 Especially at that point.

00:04:09.000 How crazy is that?

00:04:10.000 I know it's funny.

00:04:11.000 I'm just going to write out my entire monologue.

00:04:13.000 He's an old master.

00:04:15.000 Bill Cosby would be a great guy if someone...

00:04:18.000 I wouldn't subscribe to all of his principles because he's really into clean comedy.

00:04:22.000 I really appreciate good, dirty comedy.

00:04:24.000 Me too.

00:04:25.000 I'm sorry.

00:04:25.000 I appreciate good, clean comedy.

00:04:26.000 Again, he's a master.

00:04:28.000 Bill Cosby is a master.

00:04:28.000 He's a master.

00:04:28.000 I can't do it.

00:04:30.000 That's not my favorite.

00:04:31.000 I've got to be honest.

00:04:32.000 If I had a choice between listening to Cosby and Kinnison, one of the reasons why I would choose Kinnison is because he would go deep.

00:04:37.000 He would take me to crazy places, and that's what I want to do.

00:04:40.000 I've got a couple drinks in me.

00:04:41.000 I want to hear you talk about Jesus' last words.

00:04:44.000 Ow! 1.00

00:04:45.000 Not my left hand!

00:04:46.000 Ho, ho! 1.00

00:04:47.000 I want to hear you go deep.

00:04:49.000 Talk about necrophilia. 1.00

00:04:51.000 The relationship shit he did was really, really fucking genius. 1.00

00:04:57.000 Carlin in his book, in that sort of biography book, I think he talks about Kenison. 0.99

00:05:01.000 Either that or I was watching an interview that Carlin did with Jon Stewart before he was Jon Stewart, Jon Stewart, for some anniversary or maybe at Aspen Comedy Fest.

00:05:13.000 And he said that Kinnison was the one that made him step his game up.

00:05:17.000 Carlin was just like, he's very rarely a comic like Blown Boy, and he loved comics. 0.96

00:05:25.000 But Kinison was the one that made him go, oh shit, why didn't I do that? 0.99

00:05:29.000 Why don't you move to where the fucking food is? 1.00

00:05:31.000 Did you ever read his brother's book? 1.00

00:05:34.000 No, how is it?

00:05:35.000 It's awesome.

00:05:35.000 It's called My Brother Sam.

00:05:37.000 It's very honest.

00:05:38.000 Very honest and very insightful.

00:05:40.000 But one of the things that he says is that Sam got hit by a car when he was a little boy.

00:05:43.000 I think it was a truck.

00:05:44.000 And after he got hit, he was never the same kid again.

00:05:47.000 All of a sudden he was angry and reckless.

00:05:49.000 So he literally became Sam Kinison because he got hit by a car.

00:05:53.000 They said before that he was like a normal kid.

00:05:55.000 But then after he got hit, all of a sudden he became like reckless and wild, which sometimes happens when people have head injuries.

00:06:01.000 Yeah, it's a head injury.

00:06:02.000 It's crazy because a head injury might have created one of the greatest comedians in the history of the known universe.

00:06:09.000 Right.

00:06:09.000 For real.

00:06:10.000 It's true. 0.98

00:06:11.000 It's crazy to think because he was so fucking wild, man. 0.98

00:06:15.000 That's why Silent Bob wears a coat. 0.98

00:06:16.000 I wore that trench coat because of Sam Kinison.

00:06:19.000 Really?

00:06:19.000 Oh, my God.

00:06:20.000 I loved Sam Kinison.

00:06:21.000 I had a poster in my room as a kid. 0.97

00:06:24.000 I don't even know how they fucking got him to do this. 0.99

00:06:28.000 But they had in school, they started this in school advertising shit even back then. 0.99

00:06:33.000 We're talking 1988. And they'd have billboards where they would put posters in where there was some celebrity talking about Reed and it was sponsored by some fucking company and shit. 0.99

00:06:44.000 Everyone made out somehow. 0.98

00:06:46.000 But ultimately the message was good, whatever the message was meant to be for a high schooler passing by in the hallway.

00:06:53.000 Sam Kinison was on one of them.

00:06:55.000 And to think about that, Sam Kinison on an inspirational high school poster, if you know Sam Kinison's work at all, it's just lunacy.

00:07:04.000 Wow.

00:07:05.000 I don't know how it happened.

00:07:06.000 He must have had a hell of an agent or manager who was like...

00:07:09.000 I got you this gig, and I don't know if anyone remembers it but me, but I remember I was a huge fan. 0.92

00:07:14.000 I'd seen him on SNL, like he did that fucking crushing... 0.93

00:07:18.000 I'd seen him on the Rodney Dangerfield special, but on SNL he came out, and they had to bleep him and shit like that. 0.98

00:07:24.000 He was legendary already.

00:07:25.000 And there he was in this poster, and I remember going to the principal and being like, can I have this when they take it down?

00:07:30.000 And so he gave me the poster, and I had it in my room for the longest time.

00:07:33.000 And even though it was like...

00:07:35.000 He couldn't curse on it. 0.99

00:07:36.000 It was about, you know, fucking doing your best or whatever, being your own person. 0.98

00:07:40.000 It was classic Kinnison yell pose, you know, of the ah, ah. 0.99

00:07:44.000 So I had it in my room.

00:07:46.000 I started wearing trench coats because of Kinnison.

00:07:49.000 He made it look cool.

00:07:50.000 That's hilarious.

00:07:50.000 We went up to New York City to when they were in Manhattan down the village.

00:07:55.000 What was that place like? 0.61

00:07:56.000 Vintage, not vintage vinyl, it'd be a record store, but it was about clothes, old clothes, vintage clothes, and bought old trench coats and shit, trying to look like Sam Kinnis. 0.96

00:08:07.000 Wow.

00:08:07.000 Is there a return of Jay and Silent Bob in the works any time ever?

00:08:11.000 No, we do the podcast now.

00:08:13.000 We've kind of taken the characters and turned them into, I guess, title more than anything else.

00:08:19.000 Did you ever have a script for it?

00:08:20.000 Like another one?

00:08:22.000 No.

00:08:22.000 There was like, no, there was no script for it, but like every once in a while you'd muse about like, oh, maybe this would be funny or I'd do this.

00:08:29.000 And they started getting more and more ridiculous, and that's when I knew it was time to stop.

00:08:33.000 Plus, we're getting older. 0.99

00:08:34.000 It's kind of tough to pull that off at like fucking age 40. I love it. 0.99

00:08:37.000 Yeah, dude, but don't rule it out.

00:08:39.000 If you smoke a fatty one day and you're sitting in a jacuzzi and you go, bing! 0.84

00:08:43.000 It's the characters.

00:08:44.000 I think people still like to get to see the characters.

00:08:46.000 People would love it.

00:08:47.000 I bet you can do that in cartoon form.

00:08:49.000 I would love to see it.

00:08:50.000 You could live forever.

00:08:50.000 That's true.

00:08:51.000 That's easier.

00:08:52.000 But I would love to see it from the place where you're at today.

00:08:55.000 I would love to see the newest version.

00:08:57.000 The weed version of it.

00:08:58.000 I don't know.

00:08:59.000 That might be the danger.

00:09:00.000 Jay and Silent Bob were not written by a stoner in the least.

00:09:03.000 That's what I wanted to ask you about.

00:09:05.000 So what happened at that point?

00:09:06.000 Maybe they don't work if they're written by a stoner.

00:09:08.000 I interrupted you earlier when you were talking about weed, when you were talking about what's the difference now.

00:09:13.000 Three years later, you've been smoking weed for how long now?

00:09:17.000 I started in 1938. 1938?

00:09:22.000 No, age 38. So that was, I'm sorry, 1998. You started in 98. That's when you really started smoking weed?

00:09:30.000 No, I'm sorry.

00:09:31.000 2008. I took 10 years off.

00:09:33.000 Yeah, I was baffled because I thought I'd heard that Seth Rogen got you into it.

00:09:36.000 That was it.

00:09:36.000 I was doing the math in my head going, wait a second.

00:09:39.000 How high are you?

00:09:40.000 Not very at all.

00:09:41.000 A, I'm bad at math, but B, I skip a decade in my head all the time.

00:09:46.000 Really?

00:09:47.000 Oh, God.

00:09:48.000 I forget that.

00:09:48.000 You do that in checks?

00:09:49.000 No.

00:09:49.000 No, just when the conversation.

00:09:51.000 Always talking about something where I'm like, oh, but that was like 90-something.

00:09:55.000 They're like, Kevin, then we had a whole decade, and now we're into a new decade.

00:09:59.000 Because once you get into the bubble, you start making entertainment, there is no more calendar for you.

00:10:05.000 There's schedules, you know, shooting scheduled.

00:10:07.000 There ain't no more calendar.

00:10:08.000 You don't look at the calendar the way everybody else does.

00:10:10.000 And the idea of 2000 still is hard to sink in.

00:10:13.000 And then 2011?

00:10:14.000 What?

00:10:14.000 Really?

00:10:15.000 2000 seems like we're living in the future.

00:10:17.000 You remember that ACDC song?

00:10:18.000 No, no.

00:10:19.000 Ace Frehley song?

00:10:20.000 Don't you know, I'm a 2,000 man.

00:10:23.000 Freely's Comet?

00:10:25.000 Ace Freely.

00:10:26.000 I think it was on his solo when he was with Kiss and they all branched off into solo.

00:10:30.000 But singing about some guy in the future.

00:10:33.000 He was singing about a 2,000 man. 0.99

00:10:35.000 A guy flying around in jet cars and shit. 0.94

00:10:38.000 I remember being, I was born in 70. And so it was very easy to do the math because, you know, every 10 years, whatever the decade was, you were kind of going to be that age or at least have the number involved. 0.94

00:10:50.000 So I would always say, like, in the year 2000, I'll be 30. Because I could do that very simple math.

00:10:58.000 And that seemed like such a far away fucking concept. 0.97

00:11:00.000 And now we're 11 years past it. 0.97

00:11:03.000 11 years past, like the oldest I ever imagined I could be.

00:11:08.000 I tell people I'm 44, and then I have to go, ooh, that's not good.

00:11:13.000 It doesn't matter anymore.

00:11:14.000 How much longer is this going to last?

00:11:17.000 It does matter, man.

00:11:19.000 Do you feel pain or no?

00:11:20.000 Well, I'm still in very good shape, and I take care of my body, and I work out, but I have to.

00:11:25.000 If I don't take care of it, it drops off quick now.

00:11:27.000 That's what I'm noticing.

00:11:28.000 If I get injured...

00:11:30.000 And I can't work out for a couple weeks now.

00:11:32.000 Whoa. 0.97

00:11:32.000 When I come back, it's like I'm fucking starting from scratch, man. 0.97

00:11:35.000 I come back, I'm a pussy. 1.00

00:11:37.000 Like, really, just two weeks. 1.00

00:11:39.000 Two weeks, I lose like half of my cardio.

00:11:41.000 It's crazy.

00:11:42.000 Two weeks, you get exhausted like really quickly.

00:11:44.000 And it's like you have to build your body back to some sort of artificial level of functionality in order to do like martial arts and things at my age.

00:11:53.000 And if you don't, it's not going to work anymore. 1.00

00:11:55.000 Your shit's starting to break, son. 1.00

00:11:57.000 Your artificial functionality must look like... 1.00

00:12:03.000 It must look like the bionic man compared to my best.

00:12:06.000 My absolute best.

00:12:08.000 It's just a focus thing.

00:12:10.000 I started doing martial arts when I was a real little kid.

00:12:13.000 By the time I was 15 years old, when I really got obsessed, I was in the sophomore year of high school.

00:12:20.000 And that's when I really, really, truly got obsessed with martial arts.

00:12:23.000 From that time, I've always been training.

00:12:26.000 That's a long time.

00:12:27.000 Think about it.

00:12:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:12:29.000 For me, it's like, you know, some people go and they play basketball.

00:12:32.000 Some people go and, you know, they'll meet some friends and they'll go play golf together.

00:12:36.000 I go and do jujitsu.

00:12:38.000 To me, it's a normal thing.

00:12:39.000 It's like, you know, going to and training in martial arts, it's like, you know, it's how I get my aggressions out.

00:12:47.000 It's how I straighten my mind out at the end of the day.

00:12:50.000 It's how when, you know, when you're in the face of something very difficult, like sparring with someone when you're doing jujitsu sparring, you're forced into this Sort of a moving meditation sort of a zone.

00:13:02.000 Where you can only think about what you're doing.

00:13:05.000 You have to figure out a way to manage your resources.

00:13:08.000 Because you're in a hand-to-hand combat battle with a skilled man.

00:13:12.000 And you guys are going back and forth with each other and you're trying to choke each other.

00:13:15.000 And it's very intense.

00:13:16.000 But in doing that very intense thing, you lose yourself in the movements and you hit this sort of a zen state. 0.94

00:13:22.000 And you can only hold it for like a certain amount of time before you get fucking exhausted.

00:13:25.000 And the key is holding that moment for as long as possible. 0.76

00:13:30.000 Keeping it going for as long as possible. 0.99

00:13:31.000 So you got to do like strength and conditioning and chin-ups and dips and fucking kettlebells. 0.99

00:13:36.000 And all this shit is just to get in there so you can go deeper and deeper with the jujitsu. 0.99

00:13:40.000 So you can Tap people when you weren't tapping them. 0.99

00:13:43.000 Avoid being tapped when you were getting tapped.

00:13:45.000 So you have to tune.

00:13:46.000 It's almost like your effort and your will is what powers your race car. 0.99

00:13:50.000 Instead of just being able to go to the track and get a new engine or whatever the fuck you do.

00:13:54.000 No, your effort and your will determine what your physical body can do. 0.83

00:13:58.000 So it's this crazy game that you get stuck and get addicted to.

00:14:01.000 And this game is jiu-jitsu.

00:14:02.000 Even this many years in, you're still learning. 0.97

00:14:04.000 Fucking love it. 1.00

00:14:05.000 I love learning new shit, man. 1.00

00:14:06.000 I love working with different kickboxing trainers and learning new shit. 0.99

00:14:10.000 Because when you learn anything, I believe it elevates everything. 0.96

00:14:14.000 I really believe that.

00:14:15.000 I believe that the more excellence you can get in your body, in your mind, in your day, the better everything is.

00:14:22.000 I think that the better you'll feel, the better you'll be...

00:14:26.000 You'll project better energy out there.

00:14:28.000 You'll be nicer to people.

00:14:29.000 They'll be nicer to you.

00:14:30.000 I really believe that.

00:14:31.000 I think in getting great at something, in finding, even in just attempting to improve at something, you're always going towards the right direction.

00:14:40.000 You're always using positive energy.

00:14:43.000 You're always using discipline.

00:14:44.000 You're always getting results.

00:14:46.000 In improving anything, when you see those results, That reinforces this notion in your whole existence to push forward and be positive and create and resolve things and figure things out and reach your pinnacle.

00:15:01.000 So I think all that stuff, that's why I got this tattoo.

00:15:04.000 I think it's all connected.

00:15:04.000 What is it?

00:15:05.000 The Book of the Seven Rings?

00:15:06.000 Book of Five Rings.

00:15:07.000 Five Rings.

00:15:08.000 Miyamoto Musashi. 0.99

00:15:09.000 I added two fucking rings in there. 1.00

00:15:10.000 Yeah, maybe you're the fucking next guy. 1.00

00:15:12.000 You're going to contribute to it. 0.99

00:15:12.000 What is the... 0.99

00:15:13.000 So wait, explain the title, The Five Rings.

00:15:15.000 You know, I don't know.

00:15:16.000 You'd have to really get into his...

00:15:18.000 I don't know how deep you got into it.

00:15:19.000 I don't know what he...

00:15:20.000 So wait, this dude was a ronin. 1.00

00:15:22.000 Yeah, he was Iranian.

00:15:22.000 How does the story end?

00:15:23.000 What happens? 1.00

00:15:24.000 He just fucking bangs bitches and writes poetry. 1.00

00:15:27.000 For real. 1.00

00:15:28.000 He just got tired of chopping people up and he wrote a book.

00:15:30.000 That was it. 0.71

00:15:31.000 He was just like, you know, I killed a lot. 0.65

00:15:33.000 Now I'm just going to lie. 0.99

00:15:33.000 Yeah, I wrote a book on how to be a carpenter and how to be a fucking philosopher and how to be in anything, really. 0.99

00:15:38.000 Follow that book. 0.88

00:15:39.000 It's an amazing book.

00:15:40.000 If you can figure out...

00:15:41.000 It's so hard when you translate from Japanese to American to really know his words.

00:15:45.000 You would really have to learn Japanese and understand the difference in the...

00:15:49.000 The way things are worded.

00:15:51.000 When you translate, you get a rough estimate of what the guy was saying.

00:15:55.000 It would have to be in the context of his culture.

00:15:57.000 And you take it in the context of the time that he existed.

00:16:00.000 And it's an amazing insight into an exceptional individual.

00:16:03.000 It's an amazing insight into a guy who had reached a height, clearly, that no one around him had with this sword fighting thing.

00:16:10.000 Which is so intense. 0.96

00:16:13.000 There's no room for bullshit in sword fighting. 0.99

00:16:15.000 You can't pretend you're better than you are. 0.99

00:16:17.000 There's no bullshitting. 1.00

00:16:18.000 There's no need to talk shit, okay? 1.00

00:16:20.000 This is all going down with steel that's going to be moving at like 50 miles an hour towards your fucking face. 1.00

00:16:26.000 You've got to be absolutely 100% sure of the correct technique, how to do, how to avoid, and get in there and get your shit done and survive. 1.00

00:16:34.000 This is not tennis, bitch. 1.00

00:16:35.000 That's insane! 1.00

00:16:36.000 To live a life like that, fighting people with fucking swords, and to have done it successfully, I think it was 62 times was the number that he supposedly killed. 1.00

00:16:44.000 And then be like, it's time to become a writer. 0.99

00:16:47.000 Could you imagine somebody publishes that book and somebody gives him a bad review?

00:16:52.000 He's just like...

00:16:53.000 There's occasionally a guy like that that'll exist in martial arts.

00:16:57.000 There's these occasional guys that will stand out above and beyond all the rest.

00:17:01.000 Hicks and Gracie is the last one.

00:17:03.000 He's the premier member of the Gracie family.

00:17:07.000 You ever heard of them for the Ultimate Fighting Championship?

00:17:09.000 No.

00:17:09.000 You're completely out of the loop.

00:17:11.000 That's awesome.

00:17:11.000 Yeah, I'm bare.

00:17:12.000 I'm virgin mind.

00:17:13.000 Wow.

00:17:14.000 I knew there was people like you out there.

00:17:16.000 I knew.

00:17:17.000 Yeah, I've heard of you.

00:17:18.000 But that's not even just for UFC or mixed martial arts.

00:17:21.000 Any sports.

00:17:21.000 Any sports beyond hockey.

00:17:23.000 Beyond hockey.

00:17:23.000 I can do, but anything else.

00:17:25.000 Like, you know, they'll be like, oh, this guy. 0.95

00:17:27.000 And they'll say a name, and it's a name that I've heard for fucking years, but I don't know what sport the dude plays. 0.96

00:17:33.000 What made you be this? 0.98

00:17:35.000 What, that way?

00:17:36.000 Yeah.

00:17:37.000 What made you be this way?

00:17:39.000 Why are you broke, Kev?

00:17:40.000 No, it's not broke at all.

00:17:41.000 Look, I'm the worst.

00:17:42.000 Here's mine.

00:17:43.000 Professional pool and fighting.

00:17:46.000 That's it.

00:17:46.000 That's all I watch.

00:17:47.000 That's awesome.

00:17:47.000 I don't know anything else.

00:17:48.000 If you're a guy in another sport, either you have to talk a lot of shit, like that Ocho Cinco guy, or you have to get arrested for something. 0.95

00:17:55.000 What does he play? 0.99

00:17:56.000 He's a football player.

00:17:57.000 Okay.

00:17:57.000 I was going to guess baseball.

00:17:58.000 And then Michael Vick gets arrested for killing dogs, so I know who he is.

00:18:01.000 Yeah, totally.

00:18:02.000 They're definitely the infamous O.J. Simpson.

00:18:04.000 Yes, I heard of that guy.

00:18:05.000 Yeah, you're not a boxer or a kickboxer, but I know some obscure little Japanese guys that fight in some weird circuit over in Japan.

00:18:14.000 I know the name of a lot of different fighters.

00:18:17.000 I've caught a lot of that information in my head, but no sports guys.

00:18:20.000 Never had that.

00:18:21.000 Never been a sports dude.

00:18:22.000 But you are, because you're hockey.

00:18:24.000 I could say I'm not a sports dude either, but I obviously am, because I'm into mixed martial arts.

00:18:28.000 I'm more about the philosophy of hockey than anything else.

00:18:30.000 What is the philosophy of hockey?

00:18:31.000 Hockey more as an idea.

00:18:34.000 The philosophy of hockey is kind of the philosophy of life.

00:18:37.000 You have a goal, someone's in your way.

00:18:39.000 Don't let them stop you.

00:18:40.000 Score.

00:18:41.000 That's very basic.

00:18:44.000 I don't think it needs to go much deeper.

00:18:46.000 I think that's kind of the beauty of the poetry of it.

00:18:48.000 Now, you tie that to one of the most graceful, beautiful games on the planet and played with physical excellence.

00:18:56.000 I mean, I understand it. 1.00

00:18:57.000 You've got to be on your fucking game to step into a ring with a dude who could fucking kill you with his fists. 0.99

00:19:02.000 But when you dial it down to a game that's less lethal and more just about moving a ball and or a puck around, that sport is probably the greatest athleticism, I think, to play any sport. 0.99

00:19:14.000 Because think about it.

00:19:16.000 Just to stand in skates, you're using more muscles than most people actually use on a regular basis.

00:19:23.000 So even if you're not doing anything in the game...

00:19:26.000 You already have to be athletically inclined just to stand there.

00:19:30.000 Now add to it, they play tops, what, two minute shifts?

00:19:33.000 Usually some one minute shifts too, hardcore.

00:19:36.000 Think about how hard you have to skate in order to go back and forth.

00:19:40.000 Think about the running that you'll do on a football field, or a basketball court rather.

00:19:44.000 Let's go with a basketball court. 0.74

00:19:46.000 You know, it's foot on track.

00:19:47.000 You're used to running.

00:19:48.000 Now try that with skates. 0.98

00:19:49.000 Now stop.

00:19:50.000 Now go back quick.

00:19:51.000 Now wait.

00:19:51.000 Go back the other way.

00:19:52.000 You're puck chasing the whole time.

00:19:54.000 Like, that's why they have those quick shifts because who could stand that?

00:19:59.000 You have to be so physically in shape to do that.

00:20:02.000 And it's beautiful to watch people do that.

00:20:05.000 Beautiful, graceful. 0.99

00:20:06.000 Look like they're skating across the giant diamond or some such shit. 0.99

00:20:11.000 And they're on water. 0.97

00:20:12.000 There's this miracle, this element of like, what do you mean it's water?

00:20:16.000 It's water, but it's hard water.

00:20:19.000 Everything about it really speaks to me. 0.99

00:20:21.000 God damn, you're making me a hockey fan. 1.00

00:20:23.000 I'm ready to go watch some fucking hockey. 1.00

00:20:24.000 It's humble, too. 1.00

00:20:25.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.98

00:20:27.000 Most athletes are very fucking big shades on, and they don't want to talk to cameras and stuff. 0.98

00:20:33.000 A lot of dramatics and whatnot. 0.98

00:20:36.000 Hockey players aren't like that at all.

00:20:38.000 Hockey players, man, you never have to hunt a hockey player down for a quote, I think, when you're...

00:20:42.000 I think most journalists will tell you that.

00:20:44.000 Like, their whole philosophy is very beautiful.

00:20:47.000 It's not like any philosophy here in regards to baseball or into football, any other sport.

00:20:53.000 Philosophy is as simple.

00:20:54.000 Sell the game.

00:20:55.000 That's it.

00:20:56.000 Sell the game.

00:20:57.000 The idea of passing the game onto...

00:20:59.000 What I just did a few seconds ago, I sold the game.

00:21:02.000 So much so that you were like, yeah, I want to see that.

00:21:04.000 That sounds Somebody should take a clip, and somebody will take a clip of this and put it on the internet and use it as a promo for hockey.

00:21:11.000 They should.

00:21:11.000 No, man.

00:21:12.000 They've got to be way more famous before anyone will pay attention to it.

00:21:15.000 You have to be way more famous? 0.99

00:21:16.000 I think so, before people fucking pay attention to something. 0.99

00:21:18.000 Oh, that's hilarious. 0.99

00:21:18.000 How famous do you think you are? 0.99

00:21:19.000 Are you not aware?

00:21:20.000 Not very. 1.00

00:21:21.000 Oh, wow, you're crazy. 1.00

00:21:22.000 Listen, you're famous as fuck, dude. 1.00

00:21:23.000 No. 1.00

00:21:24.000 Yes.

00:21:24.000 Now I'm like, no.

00:21:25.000 Listen, listen, dude. 0.99

00:21:26.000 I know it's uncomfortable and you want to be all underground and shit. 0.99

00:21:29.000 No. 0.97

00:21:30.000 Famous dude is Ben Affleck. 0.99

00:21:31.000 I have stood beside Ben Affleck and that's fucking famous. 0.99

00:21:34.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:21:34.000 G-Money, that's ridiculous superstardom. 1.00

00:21:36.000 You're not that, but you're famous as fuck. 1.00

00:21:39.000 There's a difference. 1.00

00:21:39.000 You're famous as fuck. 1.00

00:21:40.000 Everyone I know knows who you are. 1.00

00:21:41.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:21:42.000 You can't be silly. 1.00

00:21:43.000 Really? 0.99

00:21:43.000 Is that true? 0.99

00:21:43.000 Yeah, don't be silly. 0.99

00:21:44.000 I know you want to be humble, but you're being silly. 1.00

00:21:45.000 You're famous as fuck. 1.00

00:21:46.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:21:47.000 I think most people go, oh, he looks familiar, but I don't think people know. 1.00

00:21:50.000 If they know your name, then you're famous as fuck. 0.99

00:21:52.000 I don't think anybody knows. 0.99

00:21:53.000 I think my name is easy to forget.

00:21:55.000 You're cute.

00:21:56.000 That's cute.

00:21:56.000 No, come on, dude.

00:21:57.000 It's not a recognizable name. 0.92

00:21:59.000 You're out of your mind. 0.98

00:22:00.000 I bet my mom knows who you are. 1.00

00:22:01.000 Dude, so many people in this life go, oh, I love you on fucking King of Queens, Kevin James. 0.98

00:22:06.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.98

00:22:07.000 To me. 0.67

00:22:07.000 Okay, but that's retards. 0.67

00:22:08.000 You're going to get retards no matter where you go. 1.00

00:22:10.000 They're unavoidable.

00:22:11.000 I don't know.

00:22:12.000 You can't factor them into the equation.

00:22:13.000 You get hit by a random asteroid.

00:22:15.000 That's what that is when someone comes up to you and calls you Kevin James.

00:22:17.000 That's just a rare, rare meteorite.

00:22:19.000 It has happened on too many occasions for me to feel comfortable with. 0.94

00:22:22.000 Well, you know, I fuck up with people's names, too.

00:22:24.000 I'm always confusing one person with another person. 1.00

00:22:26.000 I go, oh, yeah, shit. 0.99

00:22:28.000 You know, but that's not... 0.99

00:22:29.000 I'm literally still dying inside because I was thinking, oh, my God, it was our wardrobe person's name, Beth.

00:22:34.000 And I almost said Beth Pasternak, and I'm like, is that her name?

00:22:38.000 Remember, you're like, are you two-stone? 0.99

00:22:40.000 I wouldn't call it two-stone.

00:22:41.000 Just stoned enough.

00:22:42.000 If you're going to commit to a lifestyle, you give up on short-term a lot, where you're just like, I'm going to need help.

00:22:50.000 I do that a lot. 0.97

00:22:51.000 I don't know if you ever do this on stage, but I tell such long, fucking convoluted stories that invariably, once, twice per night now, I'll be in the middle of something and just be like, I don't freeze, I don't get scared anymore, but I just literally go, what the fuck was I talking about? 0.91

00:23:10.000 I'm so sorry. 0.66

00:23:11.000 And someone will be like, it was J.M.U.'s in a bathtub.

00:23:14.000 I'm like, oh yes, thank you.

00:23:15.000 Anyway, and boom, right back into it.

00:23:17.000 As long as they can help you out.

00:23:18.000 As long as they're there to help, but if not, dude, there are moments where you're just like, oh my god, like I was on the Tonight Show earlier, and I sat down to tape the Tonight Show, and I wasn't nearly stoned enough for that, you know?

00:23:29.000 I wish I'd been more stoned because I would have enjoyed it more.

00:23:32.000 The whole time I'm sitting there just thinking, like, I look fat on the show.

00:23:35.000 I know I look fat right now.

00:23:36.000 I know I look fat. 0.92

00:23:37.000 And in the midst of it, I did have those moments where I wasn't stoned, but I had a moment where I was like, what the hell?

00:23:44.000 When you're on The Tonight Show and you have one of those moments?

00:23:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:46.000 Goddamn! 0.99

00:23:47.000 Luckily, I connected it quickly, but I love doing it on stage. 0.98

00:23:50.000 I used to be like, oh, you can't let people know.

00:23:53.000 And I'm like, let's be realistic.

00:23:55.000 Like, A, I'm 41. B, I'm in the middle of a fucking labyrinthine story to begin with. 0.99

00:24:01.000 There's so many moving parts. 0.99

00:24:02.000 And B, C, you throw some weed on top of that?

00:24:05.000 You know, every once in a while, maybe a gear is going to slip and you're going to forget a detail.

00:24:10.000 But as long as the audience is there to rescue you, it's all good.

00:24:12.000 I love the fact that you're honest about it.

00:24:14.000 There's a lot of people that aren't honest about the positive effects of it, and they treat it like it's a trivial thing.

00:24:20.000 One of the things that I was upset with Dr. Drew about, and I do really love Dr. Drew, but he's like, ah, you want to go smoke your weed, smoke your weed?

00:24:28.000 He's like, look, I'm not telling you not to do it.

00:24:30.000 He's like...

00:24:31.000 But it's dismissive about it being a positive thing.

00:24:35.000 It's always like, yeah, you want to go do whatever you want to do with your life.

00:24:38.000 I'm for free will.

00:24:39.000 I'm for you having a good time.

00:24:40.000 And if you want to ruin your thing and go right ahead, I'm for...

00:24:44.000 But that's not...

00:24:45.000 You're not taking into account all the people that talk about these amazingly positive benefits that they have from it.

00:24:51.000 And you're one of them.

00:24:52.000 You're always talking about...

00:24:53.000 Mind medicine, man.

00:24:55.000 And some people will be like, oh, is it fuel your creativity?

00:24:59.000 I say, no, quite the opposite.

00:25:01.000 I don't think I've ever gotten a new idea from weed that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

00:25:06.000 What weed allows you to do is chase the good idea.

00:25:10.000 Embrace it rather than let it go for fear that someone will judge it or for fear that it won't work or, hey, this hasn't been done yet.

00:25:18.000 So I find weed doesn't make me creative as much as it knocks down the inhibitions that block creativity.

00:25:25.000 Like the reason you don't go further on that cool idea because you're afraid it's going to be judged or it won't turn out or who will ever buy this or what am I thinking or I can't pull something like this off.

00:25:36.000 Weed, you could smoke away those inhibitions. 0.92

00:25:38.000 It's very important, man, no matter how long we're here, to push down all those, even the dopiest fucking fears, the things that you're like... 0.98

00:25:46.000 Anything that boxes you in. 0.95

00:25:48.000 Like you were talking about, people like to sometimes keep that box tighter and tighter than their eyes.

00:25:52.000 But it's more important to kind of understand why things happen.

00:25:55.000 Who invented it?

00:25:56.000 What makes it work, so to speak?

00:25:58.000 Get to the bottom of it.

00:25:59.000 And weed makes you more introspective.

00:26:01.000 It really does.

00:26:01.000 You start looking in.

00:26:03.000 You start thinking.

00:26:04.000 It creates time for me, and it creates time to think.

00:26:08.000 We have cannabinoid receptors in our brains to respond to THC. We know that human use of THC goes back at least 10,000 years.

00:26:17.000 We're constantly finding old mummies with bags of weed with them. 1.00

00:26:21.000 There's people that believe that it had some part of the evolution of language.

00:26:26.000 Explain, explain.

00:26:27.000 The idea of this cannabinoid receptors, right?

00:26:29.000 The idea that you've got receptors in your brain tuned in to give you, to tune in to exactly what this marijuana plant is giving you.

00:26:36.000 And only that.

00:26:37.000 They do nothing else but that.

00:26:38.000 Well, they also, I think cannabinoids can be fired up when you have that runner's high, too.

00:26:44.000 I think somehow or another that's very similar.

00:26:46.000 And you were the one telling me, I think it was when you were on the show, you were the one telling me, like, the drug that, or the brain kicks in with something when you're about to die, they say.

00:26:55.000 Well, they believe it.

00:26:56.000 It's called dimethyltryptamine.

00:26:57.000 It's produced by the liver, the lungs, and they believe it's produced by the pineal gland. 0.87

00:27:02.000 They're actually doing these super specific studies on this shit right now because throughout all Eastern mysticism, they've always talked about the third eye. 0.87

00:27:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.97

00:27:12.000 Everyone's seen that image, right?

00:27:13.000 Of course.

00:27:13.000 Well, that is where the pineal gland rests, and it literally is an eyeball.

00:27:17.000 I know that from that H.P. Lovecraft movie, From Beyond.

00:27:20.000 Yeah.

00:27:20.000 They were going after the pineal gland.

00:27:22.000 A little fucking thing came out. 0.99

00:27:23.000 Well the crazy thing about that gland is that in certain reptiles it actually has a retina and a lens. 1.00

00:27:29.000 Like it's a fucking eyeball. 0.99

00:27:30.000 So it is an eyeball. 1.00

00:27:31.000 It is an eyeball.

00:27:32.000 And they believe that this is what they call the seat of the soul.

00:27:36.000 They believe it is the factory of the most potent naturally produced psychedelic chemicals. 0.99

00:27:42.000 We don't know exactly because you have to cut into the fucking brain like within 15 minutes of someone being dead to find it I think. 0.95

00:27:49.000 There's some crazy roadblock to finding out exactly what today's technology, where the DMT is being manufactured in the brain. 0.97

00:27:58.000 So they're trying to figure out and invent new technology to directly monitor it so they can absolutely prove it.

00:28:04.000 But even if they don't prove it, where it's manufactured, it's known that it exists in the body, it's known that it's produced by several different organs, and it is known that it's intensely psychedelic.

00:28:13.000 What I found comforting about that was The way you presented it was, in the moment that you are dying, your body knows it and sends it in doses.

00:28:26.000 Send me an angel. 1.00

00:28:28.000 Yes, bitch! 1.00

00:28:29.000 It just dopes you the fuck out. 1.00

00:28:30.000 The notion that my body is like, he ain't gonna handle this.

00:28:36.000 Chubby can't handle it.

00:28:37.000 He's going to need to shut down.

00:28:40.000 Boom, boom, boom. 0.99

00:28:41.000 And then the doors of perception open up like fucking giant exploding kaleidoscopes of insane light with no boundary. 0.99

00:28:49.000 And you get shot through a fucking tunnel just like a DMT trip. 0.97

00:28:52.000 And you get transported into the center of the universe. 0.99

00:28:56.000 Don't give up the fight.

00:28:59.000 How many psychedelic experiences have you had?

00:29:00.000 Never.

00:29:01.000 I mean, explain.

00:29:03.000 Mushrooms?

00:29:03.000 No, don't do that.

00:29:04.000 I've never done that.

00:29:05.000 But you like weed.

00:29:06.000 Yeah, I do.

00:29:07.000 And I'm not even judgmental about it.

00:29:08.000 Like, I can't say people would do, but I've never done it.

00:29:10.000 I don't know if it would...

00:29:11.000 I don't know how I would handle that.

00:29:13.000 Oh, you have much to learn, Grasshopper.

00:29:16.000 We're ready to straighten you out.

00:29:18.000 Terrence McKenna.

00:29:19.000 I don't know how high the building goes, but, like, the floor I'm on is frightening enough, but manageable.

00:29:24.000 I can't imagine what it's...

00:29:26.000 Well, 98, three years, you're just sort of coming to grips with the whole thing.

00:29:30.000 You know, that your life is greatly enhanced and far more fascinating when you're high.

00:29:36.000 And then you start thinking about, well, why aren't more people talking about the benefits of this incredible drug?

00:29:41.000 And why is it being demonized?

00:29:42.000 And you start processing it in your mind.

00:29:45.000 Mushrooms are that times a million.

00:29:48.000 And then DMT is mushrooms times a million plus aliens.

00:29:53.000 So that's what it is.

00:29:55.000 Does anyone not come back?

00:29:56.000 Maybe. 1.00

00:29:57.000 You gotta be a weak bitch, but you might get lost. 1.00

00:29:59.000 You just look at everything. 1.00

00:30:01.000 I'm not scared of the woods, bro.

00:30:03.000 I go out in the woods.

00:30:04.000 I go out in the woods to learn something about myself.

00:30:05.000 And that's what it is.

00:30:06.000 It's like every intense psychedelic experience is like what you're...

00:30:11.000 The benefits that you're getting from marijuana is like a slow IV drip. 1.00

00:30:16.000 This is like someone's sticking a fucking turkey baster up your asshole and shoving it. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Scary. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Plunging it into your central nervous system. 1.00

00:30:25.000 Oh, you're scary.

00:30:25.000 Well, it's supposed to be scary because, as you said, when you heard that your father screamed to death, you only get one shot at this.

00:30:33.000 And that fear is the fear of losing control, which is absolutely inevitable.

00:30:39.000 You know it, I know it.

00:30:42.000 What the psychedelic experiences are like is like it allows you to almost go through a death experience several times.

00:30:49.000 Not to the point where you feel dead, but to the point where your whole view of the world is so shattered.

00:30:55.000 Your ego is so...

00:30:57.000 Your actual worth and your actual peace in this puzzle is made so clear, and it's so humbling, and it's so confusing, and it's so enlightening, and it's so encouraging, and it's so loving, and it's so frightening, all at the same time, all impossible to describe.

00:31:15.000 The images and the feeling you get literally probably are responsible for human evolution.

00:31:20.000 They're selling the game right now.

00:31:22.000 Terence McKenna believed that the reason...

00:31:23.000 And he had this documented down to climate change.

00:31:26.000 He believed that the reason why human beings evolved from other hominids is that they started experimenting with new food sources and eating psilocybin mushrooms.

00:31:34.000 And he has it all down to when the rainforest receded and became grasslands because of the climate change.

00:31:41.000 That's when the monkeys ran out of food.

00:31:43.000 And they started in grasslands.

00:31:44.000 It's not as rich as the rainforest. 0.97

00:31:45.000 So they had to fucking experiment with new food sources. 0.96

00:31:47.000 And that's when all these cows were walking around eating the grass. 1.00

00:31:50.000 Cows shit out the shit. 1.00

00:31:52.000 Shit grows mushrooms on them. 1.00

00:31:53.000 Monkeys eat the mushrooms. 1.00

00:31:54.000 Monkeys figure out all kinds of different shit. 1.00

00:31:56.000 Like language and coordination and how to make tools and how to fucking throw rocks at things and kill them. 1.00

00:32:02.000 Tools. 0.99

00:32:04.000 We were just on the other day.

00:32:05.000 You know somebody needs a tool?

00:32:06.000 No, but my wife told me this story. 0.97

00:32:07.000 They fucking captured my imagination, which is kind of right up this alley. 0.99

00:32:10.000 Did you see this dolphin story about the cock shells? 0.99

00:32:13.000 No.

00:32:13.000 Oh, they use them to fish?

00:32:15.000 Yes.

00:32:16.000 Yeah, I did hear about that. 0.98

00:32:17.000 How fucking spellbinding is that? 0.99

00:32:18.000 These dolphins are taking these cock shells, which, that was the second most surprising thing about the story to me. 0.99

00:32:23.000 There was a picture. 0.99

00:32:23.000 These cock shells are fucking huge. 0.99

00:32:25.000 I think of cock shells as being like this, but... 1.00

00:32:28.000 Some of them are big, yeah.

00:32:29.000 In any event, these dolphins, they found them like, they thought they used to go under the cock shells to fish out anything that wasn't living in their fish or what have you.

00:32:40.000 But they've discovered that they're using them as tools, as trapping tools.

00:32:44.000 Like using them to kind of herd fish and then cup them and then eat out of it.

00:32:50.000 So using them to capture and to dig.

00:32:53.000 And very specific.

00:32:56.000 Not just like, oh he's balancing a conch shell.

00:32:59.000 They're using it.

00:33:00.000 They're figuring tools out. 0.98

00:33:02.000 How do dolphins get so fucking smart without thumbs? 0.98

00:33:05.000 It's really interesting when you think about it. 0.98

00:33:07.000 There's no refrigerators in the ocean.

00:33:08.000 You don't have to open doors.

00:33:09.000 But they're supposed to be really intelligent.

00:33:11.000 We don't exactly know how intelligent some people...

00:33:14.000 Because I think their cerebral cortex is some large percentage larger than a human being.

00:33:19.000 Something like 40% larger than a human being.

00:33:21.000 So what would that mean?

00:33:23.000 I don't know.

00:33:23.000 I don't know what it means.

00:33:24.000 I don't know.

00:33:25.000 No, I don't think so.

00:33:26.000 I think they just have, like, such a different world as far as their coordination and their physical movement.

00:33:32.000 And, like, Neanderthal had a bigger brain than a human being. 0.99

00:33:34.000 And they were dumber than us, for sure. 1.00

00:33:36.000 But they needed a bigger brain to operate that fucking ridiculous body. 1.00

00:33:39.000 Like, Neanderthals were very different than people. 1.00

00:33:41.000 They were 5'2", 200 pounds of solid muscle and bone.

00:33:45.000 They were these big, like, half-chimp people. 1.00

00:33:47.000 You know, like, if you look at, like, drawings of Neanderthals, like, they don't really resemble...

00:33:51.000 I mean, they do, but they don't.

00:33:53.000 You know, they look clearly different.

00:33:54.000 They're standing upright, kind of. 0.99

00:33:56.000 They would have fucked us up. 0.99

00:33:57.000 If it was just one-on-one brawls between Neanderthals and people, most likely the Neanderthals would have fucked us up. 0.99

00:34:03.000 Really? 0.98

00:34:03.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:34:03.000 There's some serious genetic... 0.98

00:34:05.000 What was I talking about?

00:34:06.000 What did I talk about?

00:34:09.000 That's what it sounds like.

00:34:10.000 Yeah, what was I talking about?

00:34:12.000 You were talking about Neanderthal man, big brain.

00:34:16.000 Needed big brain to operate that big body. 0.99

00:34:18.000 Oh, so if dolphins' brains are larger, it could be just to operate that incredible body they have.

00:34:23.000 You just hit a pothole, my friend.

00:34:25.000 Yeah, I did.

00:34:26.000 Totally.

00:34:26.000 Thank you for rescuing me.

00:34:27.000 I was there to save you.

00:34:28.000 Thank you.

00:34:28.000 And that's the beautiful thing about letting the audience know that you're high.

00:34:31.000 When you do those Q&As, do you let them know, listen, I just need you as a net.

00:34:34.000 The nice thing about always talking about being stoned is people just assume that at all times you are.

00:34:39.000 So there's a nice blanket for everything.

00:34:41.000 Did you ever get to the point when you first started getting high where you got too high and you got really paranoid?

00:34:45.000 Yes, yes.

00:34:45.000 Well, not paranoid.

00:34:46.000 Did you almost quit?

00:34:46.000 No, not quit, but I thought I died one night.

00:34:49.000 I thought I was going to die.

00:34:50.000 I got really stoned with my friend, Jim Jackman, and he came over and we were out on the deck at my house. 0.99

00:34:57.000 Night out stars and shit sitting there smoking. 0.92

00:35:00.000 And I had already smoked before he got there and then he came and I was like, I'll smoke another one. 0.98

00:35:03.000 This is in the days before I would smoke that much.

00:35:06.000 So two joints within the span of like, what, an hour and a half or something like that. 0.97

00:35:11.000 And by the time I got to burn down to the bottom of the second one, I was like, really, really, really, really, really fucked up. 0.92

00:35:19.000 And I kept telling him, I was like, I think this is it, dude. 0.97

00:35:22.000 I gotta lay down.

00:35:24.000 Like, I think my heart might stop tonight.

00:35:27.000 And he's like, you want me to do anything?

00:35:28.000 I was like, no, let me just lay down.

00:35:30.000 And I laid down next to the pool, just on the deck, looking up at the stars.

00:35:33.000 And I was like, I'm too high.

00:35:35.000 Dangerously high.

00:35:36.000 I don't know what it was.

00:35:37.000 I'd never really experienced that again.

00:35:39.000 What do you think it was?

00:35:41.000 Baboon Heart.

00:35:42.000 What was it?

00:35:42.000 Baboon Heart.

00:35:44.000 The movie?

00:35:47.000 Yeah.

00:35:48.000 Baboon Heart.

00:35:48.000 Is that what I have?

00:35:49.000 My mother never told me? 1.00

00:35:51.000 He's a silly boy. 1.00

00:35:52.000 Do I get to fuck Marissa Tomei as well? 1.00

00:35:55.000 Was that what it was? 1.00

00:35:55.000 The boy had a baboon heart? 1.00

00:35:57.000 Yeah, he had a bad heart and his parents told him he had a baboon heart.

00:36:00.000 They told him he had a baboon heart.

00:36:02.000 Those rookie highs, you don't really achieve those rookie highs once you get a tolerance.

00:36:09.000 Those rookie highs are like getting shot into the center of the universe.

00:36:13.000 Chris McGuire, when we got Chris McGuire high one night behind the comedy story, do you remember this story?

00:36:17.000 You were there with me.

00:36:19.000 Chris is a buddy of mine from way back who never gets high.

00:36:22.000 He's a comic and usually has a couple of beers.

00:36:24.000 He'll get high if you force him to.

00:36:26.000 All right, I'll take a hit of this.

00:36:27.000 He was a stone-cold rookie, and he took two hits.

00:36:31.000 It was probably Trainwreck, because that's all we ever smoked. 0.96

00:36:34.000 This ridiculous super space philosopher weed.

00:36:38.000 And then I came back to him like 20 minutes later. 0.94

00:36:40.000 He goes, I got a problem.

00:36:41.000 I got a real problem here.

00:36:42.000 He goes, this is not weed.

00:36:43.000 Somebody put something in this, man.

00:36:45.000 Somebody put something in this.

00:36:47.000 I'm telling you, this is not pot.

00:36:48.000 I've been hiding before.

00:36:49.000 This is not pot.

00:36:49.000 This is serious, man.

00:36:50.000 I'm serious.

00:36:51.000 Somebody put something in this.

00:36:52.000 I'm like, no, dude, dude, dude, dude.

00:36:54.000 The weed's that good.

00:36:55.000 Yeah.

00:36:55.000 The weed's that good.

00:36:56.000 And he's like, no way.

00:36:58.000 That can't be real.

00:36:59.000 He didn't believe it.

00:37:00.000 He didn't believe it.

00:37:01.000 Because that rookie high, that rookie high is terrifying.

00:37:05.000 I mean, you might as well be on ecstasy.

00:37:07.000 It was pretty intense.

00:37:08.000 I can't say that I miss it, though.

00:37:11.000 Like, I enjoy, you know, I never feel, I always say, I don't get stoned.

00:37:15.000 That's for teenagers.

00:37:16.000 I get centered.

00:37:17.000 I enjoy where I get now.

00:37:19.000 Great place.

00:37:20.000 Great for conversation.

00:37:21.000 Great for, like I said, knocking over the inhibitions and whatnot.

00:37:25.000 I'm not quite, I don't know if I'm ready to open the third eye, but if anyone sold me closer to it, it's you.

00:37:31.000 You don't need to do it.

00:37:32.000 Nobody needs to do anything, man.

00:37:33.000 That's all nonsense.

00:37:34.000 You can find your own place without doing it.

00:37:36.000 But you can give it a shot, but it sounds appetizing.

00:37:38.000 I mean, it's like, look, I am something of a journeyer now, and at the end of the day, it's not that far removed. 0.97

00:37:44.000 We're not talking, it's not you going like, you should do some bumps and fucking rails, dude. 0.78

00:37:48.000 You're talking about another thing that's very close to what I'm doing. 0.98

00:37:51.000 I 100% recommend mushrooms.

00:37:52.000 It's very much the same as what you're doing.

00:37:55.000 It's all the same thing.

00:37:56.000 It's forcing you to be...

00:37:57.000 Can you put it in a shake?

00:37:58.000 Yes.

00:37:59.000 I make an orange kind of juice thing where you grind it up into an orange.

00:38:02.000 If you want to eat it, it gets really crazy because it lasts for like six hours.

00:38:06.000 It's like a slow DMT release.

00:38:08.000 What do you do with it instead?

00:38:09.000 You can't eat it, though.

00:38:09.000 If you eat it, you have to eat it with an MAO inhibitor, and you've got to know something else how to brew that correctly.

00:38:14.000 You can't eat it.

00:38:15.000 When you take it in orally, you see, DMT exists apparently in so many different plants that our body has a built-in defense mechanism for it.

00:38:24.000 It's called monoamine oxidase.

00:38:26.000 So when you eat something, like say if you eat grass that has DMT in it, sheep, if they eat that grass, will die.

00:38:33.000 It's really kind of crazy. 0.88

00:38:34.000 Like, sheep, if they eat grass that has DMT in it, they just fucking fall on their back and stick their legs up and they tremble in the air. 0.97

00:38:40.000 It's really kind of nutty. 0.80

00:38:41.000 But human beings have figured out a way to process it in our stomachs, and that's what this monoamine oxidase is.

00:38:47.000 That's why we can eat it in so many different plants, but yet it's not psychoactive.

00:38:51.000 Well, these guys in the Amazon, they figured out a way to make it psychoactive when you eat it by combining this This is a plant that has this one drug with an MAO inhibitor, so it kills the monoamine oxidase in your stomach, and it allows your stomach to absorb this drug directly.

00:39:06.000 So you have to take something in order to take something?

00:39:07.000 And you're going to puke, and you're going to be in the jungle, there's no refrigerators.

00:39:11.000 Dude.

00:39:12.000 This is all bad.

00:39:13.000 It's a big step.

00:39:14.000 It's a big step.

00:39:15.000 You've got to be a real seeker if you want to do this. 0.99

00:39:18.000 Wait, I thought we were talking about mushrooms. 0.99

00:39:20.000 You're selling me on some fucking, like... 0.99

00:39:21.000 That's the oral DMT. Some mosquito co-shit. 1.00

00:39:24.000 That's the oral DMT. What do you mean, oral DMT? Do mushrooms first. 0.98

00:39:26.000 Don't even go...

00:39:27.000 Well, wait.

00:39:28.000 Mushroom you chew, right?

00:39:29.000 Yeah, you just need a little mushrooms, too.

00:39:31.000 Or you can make it interesting.

00:39:31.000 Your first trip, don't get crazy.

00:39:32.000 But you could put...

00:39:33.000 Could I make, like, a strawberry milkshake with a mushroom in it?

00:39:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:35.000 You could eat it with applesauce.

00:39:36.000 Will it be the same effect?

00:39:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:38.000 Like, it won't be like, you ruined it.

00:39:40.000 You really shouldn't have food in your stomach, but as long as that is the only food, it'll probably diminish the effects very slightly, but ultimately it's all going to get into your bloodstream.

00:39:50.000 Scott, did you ever have a bad trip?

00:39:51.000 Bad trips are actually, it doesn't seem like it at the time, but they're actually almost all beneficial.

00:39:58.000 As long as you don't go completely crazy, what you learn from a bad trip is that you've got some issues, man. 0.99

00:40:03.000 You've got some shit that's bugging you. 0.99

00:40:04.000 You've got some imbalances in your mind and you're not focusing on them. 1.00

00:40:10.000 That's usually what it is.

00:40:12.000 My heart is racing, right?

00:40:14.000 Nightmarish form.

00:40:15.000 It comes up in nightmarish clarity.

00:40:17.000 That's what psychedelic experiences really do. 1.00

00:40:19.000 When you have something that's really fucking with you, it's such a primary focus inside your mind that when you open up these doors to psychedelic dimensions, your mind is going to grab that shit and shove it in your face and go, what the fuck is this? 1.00

00:40:33.000 Why are you hiding this from me? 1.00

00:40:35.000 Why don't you get this shit out of the way? 0.99

00:40:36.000 Why do you think Oscar De La Hoya came clean and said that he was wearing women's underwear in those photos and it was real? 1.00

00:40:42.000 Because every night that the fucking truth is knocking him on the head, dude, you were in chick's underwear, just fucking say it! 1.00

00:40:48.000 I can't! 1.00

00:40:50.000 He can't!

00:40:50.000 I can't!

00:40:51.000 Tossing and sweating.

00:40:53.000 If he ate a pot brownie, he would have been forced to admit it, like, right away.

00:40:57.000 It just strips you down.

00:40:59.000 Strips you down.

00:41:01.000 You have a strong mushroom trip, man.

00:41:03.000 It strips you down.

00:41:05.000 You see what they describe as the wiring under the board.

00:41:08.000 You see things in a different perspective.

00:41:11.000 It's an impossible perspective.

00:41:14.000 First of all, it shouldn't exist.

00:41:15.000 And second of all, it shouldn't be so easy to get to.

00:41:17.000 All you have to do is eat this stuff.

00:41:19.000 You eat this stuff and wait an hour and 20 minutes, and all of a sudden you're literally in an impossible described different world that shouldn't exist.

00:41:26.000 It can't be real because it violates everything you know about life. 0.89

00:41:30.000 When you're closing your eyes, everywhere you look is something more and more impossible, and there's information coming at you, all the answers to all the world's problems, but it's like slippery fish, and you're standing in a river, and you can't Fucking hold on to many of it. 0.97

00:41:45.000 There's just too many fucking fish coming your way, man. 0.98

00:41:47.000 And there's the water and the information is hitting you like the fucking river. 1.00

00:41:51.000 You're selling the game. 1.00

00:41:52.000 You're selling the game.

00:41:53.000 It's not for everybody, but it's for you.

00:41:56.000 That's what I would say.

00:41:57.000 It's not for everybody, but it's for you.

00:41:59.000 There's great men who have learned incredible things from psychedelic trips.

00:42:02.000 And there's a guy named Graham Hancock who's going to be doing the podcast soon.

00:42:06.000 He contacted me in an email.

00:42:07.000 I just emailed him back.

00:42:08.000 And he's this genius writer who wrote these fascinating books about ancient human history called Fingerprints of the Gods.

00:42:14.000 Mm-hmm.

00:42:14.000 It's all about these ancient structures that point to the very plausible idea that the human race has been around way longer than we like to think and that civilization has had peaks and valleys where we were almost wiped out and we had to rebuild anew.

00:42:31.000 It's kind of like what you were talking about before, like, return to the cities and be like, where did these buildings come from?

00:42:36.000 Sure, but in his case, it was more of like, I think what he, they're mostly pointing towards giant cataclysmic disasters that have, you know, all but wiped out a huge percentage of the human race, and then people have to start all over again.

00:42:49.000 I mean, the concept of what if today, okay, 2011. Like the Matrix, like the third Matrix movie, where Was that it?

00:42:55.000 Was that what happened in the third Matrix? 0.98

00:42:56.000 In the third Matrix, they were like, this is, you know, permutation of a fucking equation. 0.93

00:43:00.000 Essentially, the message was, this happened, this is the 16th time we've done this. 0.91

00:43:06.000 Like, we keep putting you guys into the Matrix.

00:43:09.000 I think that's based on the yuga.

00:43:10.000 Is it?

00:43:11.000 Yeah.

00:43:11.000 That's based on an ancient Hindu system, or it's an Indian system.

00:43:15.000 I don't know the full thing. 0.99

00:43:17.000 Our friend Duncan's an expert in this shit. 0.99

00:43:19.000 But the way he explained it to me is that this is Kali Yuga. 1.00

00:43:22.000 And the Kali Yuga is the most chaotic...

00:43:26.000 The next stage of the human existence, and we have this normal, natural progression from sensible to wild to crazy to completely out of control, which is where we are now, until the next stage is some sort of an enlightenment, some sort of a learning from this, some sort of a next passage that goes through, and that the idea is that humanity is in this continuous cycle.

00:43:46.000 And that it's, you know, we like to think of ourselves as having a direct linear projection from monkey to human being in 2011. But in fact, it may have hit this peak thousands and thousands and thousands of years ago and then been shut down by some horrible disaster that killed almost everybody.

00:44:02.000 And that almost everybody forgets about it because you kill like half the fucking people. 0.99

00:44:06.000 And man, you know, good luck. 1.00

00:44:08.000 Good luck piecing things together, writing things down.

00:44:11.000 You know, paper gets...

00:44:13.000 Disappears.

00:44:13.000 They burned the library of Alexandria.

00:44:15.000 They lost all the records for Egypt. 0.99

00:44:17.000 Everything they have left is just shit carved in snow, or carved in stone, rather. 0.97

00:44:21.000 It's like, you know, you want to really get the full history of the human race. 0.99

00:44:25.000 It's really complicated.

00:44:26.000 It's like, we don't really know what happened 10,000 years ago.

00:44:30.000 We don't really know what happened 15, 20,000.

00:44:32.000 And in the course of the universe, or the course of the life of this planet, that's a It's almost like as a race, we have woken up at a certain level where we started writing things down.

00:44:43.000 We'll call it a thousand years ago, whatever the fuck it was, where people really started writing things down. 0.96

00:44:47.000 It's almost like we're just slowly piecing this fucking thing together as it's moving. 0.99

00:44:51.000 It's moving in a direction. 0.98

00:44:52.000 People are just starting to write things down.

00:44:53.000 Okay, this is what happens and this and this and this.

00:44:55.000 Then the next people come along and they go, okay, they already figured this out.

00:44:57.000 Okay, what else can we figure out?

00:44:58.000 Then we've got to figure this out.

00:44:59.000 And they're all moving along as life is moving. 0.99

00:45:02.000 Constantly trying to re-add to this fucking pile of awakening. 0.98

00:45:05.000 To try to describe this life that we're just born in the middle of, mid-momentum. 0.99

00:45:10.000 Hit the ground running. 1.00

00:45:12.000 As soon as you could walk, you'd go off to school and you're a fucking cog in the wheel. 1.00

00:45:16.000 Boom! 1.00

00:45:16.000 And very little time to sit down and think about what the fuck it really is. 1.00

00:45:20.000 I like the notion of it's all occurring. 0.99

00:45:23.000 We're waking up.

00:45:24.000 The renaissance of sorts.

00:45:26.000 Somebody writing it down.

00:45:27.000 Number one, I thought that was really sweet.

00:45:28.000 But number two, the notion of doing that while you're moving forward still.

00:45:35.000 You can't stop time and tell people, like, wait.

00:45:38.000 Let me catch up and write everything down so far.

00:45:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:45:42.000 Like, you'd have to start fucking swimming. 0.99

00:45:44.000 You're absolutely right. 0.99

00:45:45.000 That was kind of evocative.

00:45:46.000 That was a really beautiful image.

00:45:47.000 Well done.

00:45:47.000 Thanks.

00:45:49.000 I'm a writer.

00:45:49.000 I appreciate some good words, man.

00:45:51.000 It was well done. 0.96

00:45:51.000 You took me right fucking there. 0.96

00:45:53.000 You sold the game. 0.99

00:45:54.000 I mean, but that is what we're doing, right?

00:45:56.000 Yeah, we try.

00:45:58.000 I don't know.

00:46:00.000 Boy, now you're making me think a lot.

00:46:02.000 It's moving in a direction. 0.92

00:46:03.000 If you just look at the idea that we're constantly creating new things, constantly trying to improve on the technology, it's going to reach some fucking nutty point sometime in the future. 0.88

00:46:13.000 Machines take over. 0.92

00:46:15.000 Yeah.

00:46:17.000 Ray Kurzweil, he's one of those futurists that believes in it.

00:46:21.000 There's a lot of other guys who have a very unrosy prediction.

00:46:25.000 There's a lot of people that think that we have been so desensitized by the Terminator being a movie that we think it's silly. 0.98

00:46:32.000 That we don't recognize that this is a fucking real problem. 0.98

00:46:35.000 That Skynet could be. 1.00

00:46:37.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:46:37.000 What are we thinking that we're going to create something that's going to have autonomy? 1.00

00:46:42.000 We're going to want to know if it can turn itself on.

00:46:45.000 We're going to want to figure that out.

00:46:46.000 We're going to want to know if we can make something that can repair itself.

00:46:49.000 We're going to want to know if we can make something that can clone itself. 0.98

00:46:51.000 Given enough time with human beings munking around with shit, we're eventually going to hit that point, man. 0.99

00:46:56.000 You're talking about singularity. 1.00

00:46:58.000 Yeah.

00:46:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:59.000 It's inevitable, it seems.

00:47:00.000 I agree.

00:47:01.000 In our lifetime.

00:47:02.000 It's a captivating notion.

00:47:04.000 I read the, I forget either, Time or Newsweek did a wonderful article on it, but the way they described it, I thought it was very evocative in as much as they said, Think about how, like, the first computer, you know, filled a couple rooms, and its equating power wasn't even a tenth of what your phone can do right now.

00:47:26.000 And that was going back to, what, how many years ago was that?

00:47:30.000 50, 60 years ago?

00:47:31.000 Yeah.

00:47:32.000 So, in that piece, they said, imagine...

00:47:35.000 What's going to be in 30 years from now, from this moment.

00:47:40.000 They're like, this won't exist.

00:47:41.000 The phone, the computer, the piece.

00:47:45.000 I mean, Steve Jobs said it himself a couple months back when he was talking about doing the cloud.

00:47:50.000 He's like, the hardware is not the soul anymore.

00:47:52.000 It's just a conduit and whatnot.

00:47:54.000 It's not going to be ringtones.

00:47:56.000 You know what the future's going to be?

00:47:57.000 You're going to be able to talk to each other.

00:47:59.000 I'm going to be able to go, dude, where are you?

00:48:02.000 And people are going to get upset if you don't let them do that.

00:48:04.000 Like girls are going to get upset. 0.98

00:48:05.000 Why can't I just talk to you whenever I want to talk to you?

00:48:07.000 What, like shining? 1.00

00:48:08.000 Yeah, like you want the fucking cell phone. 1.00

00:48:10.000 You want the ring. 0.99

00:48:11.000 You want a ring so you can look at it and decide whether or not to answer.

00:48:14.000 But if someone can make the cell phone ring, like instant communication.

00:48:18.000 I thought you were saying, like, in the future, we won't need phones.

00:48:21.000 We'll talk to each other.

00:48:22.000 Yeah, I could just be like, hey, what's up, Kevin?

00:48:23.000 It might not even have to be a phone.

00:48:25.000 You're right.

00:48:25.000 It might not even have to be a phone, but I think initially it's going to start out with ringtones.

00:48:28.000 The first thing that's going to be the dam is going to break is instead of a ringtone, why can't they set it up so I can talk to you in the ringtone?

00:48:35.000 Hey, Kevin, it's me, Joe.

00:48:36.000 Pick up the phone, dude. 0.98

00:48:37.000 This is fucking super important. 0.99

00:48:39.000 I hate to be bugging you, but pick up the phone. 0.99

00:48:41.000 Almost like an answering machine.

00:48:42.000 Like a pre-ring.

00:48:43.000 That's what you're hearing when the phone rings. 0.99

00:48:45.000 You're hearing your friends say, dude, pick up the fucking phone right now. 0.99

00:48:47.000 Almost like old school answering machine. 0.99

00:48:49.000 You know, that would be the first option. 0.96

00:48:51.000 And people would get that because they'll say, Honey, what if it's an emergency and some shit goes down and I need to get in touch with you? 0.96

00:48:56.000 Yeah, you're right. 0.98

00:48:57.000 Okay. 1.00

00:48:58.000 And then people are going, What the fuck? 1.00

00:48:59.000 Where are you, bitch? 1.00

00:49:00.000 I'm fucking calling you right now. 1.00

00:49:01.000 I'm going to keep calling you. 1.00

00:49:02.000 You're with that fucking dude. 1.00

00:49:03.000 And you'll be able to harass that person, literally yell at them until they shut their fucking phone off. 1.00

00:49:08.000 That would be step one. 0.99

00:49:09.000 And then eventually there will be no more phone.

00:49:12.000 They're going to figure out some way, whether it's a neural implant or, you know.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, I think it's neural implants.

00:49:17.000 They were implying 30 years from now the phone will be insertable into your head.

00:49:22.000 Jesus.

00:49:23.000 And it'll be tiny.

00:49:24.000 It'll be like this.

00:49:24.000 And there's that material.

00:49:26.000 What is it called? 0.99

00:49:27.000 It's the shit that's like as thin as saran wrap. 1.00

00:49:29.000 Fiber optics? 1.00

00:49:30.000 I don't know if that's it.

00:49:31.000 It's this new material.

00:49:33.000 It's about thin as a...

00:49:34.000 It probably can't be that new.

00:49:35.000 No. 0.99

00:49:35.000 Fiber optics is old as fuck. 0.99

00:49:37.000 I don't think it's this. 0.99

00:49:38.000 I'm talking to myself.

00:49:39.000 It's thin.

00:49:40.000 They showed a piece of it.

00:49:42.000 Looks like a piece of saran wrap. 1.00

00:49:44.000 But the strength of it is like fucking concrete. 0.99

00:49:48.000 Like 16 layers of concrete. 0.99

00:49:50.000 And they're saying it also has foldability.

00:49:53.000 So you can roll it up and bundle it up.

00:49:56.000 And it's also made of sand or whatever. 1.00

00:49:58.000 You know, fucking silicon. 0.99

00:49:59.000 So it's conductive. 1.00

00:50:00.000 So they're saying...

00:50:02.000 Imagine you had...

00:50:03.000 Alright, like this.

00:50:04.000 Yeah, this looks kind of...

00:50:05.000 I don't know what these are, but...

00:50:06.000 These ties.

00:50:08.000 Is that what it is?

00:50:11.000 I want to smell it.

00:50:12.000 If you had this...

00:50:14.000 And you could do this with it, or you could just roll it up real tight and stick it in your ear.

00:50:19.000 This would be your phone.

00:50:21.000 They're like, shape is no longer a problem.

00:50:23.000 This is the material. 0.99

00:50:25.000 It's like when you watch the fucking Batman Begins. 0.97

00:50:28.000 He's got that memory cloth for the cape where he puts a little electric charge to it and it tightens. 0.99

00:50:33.000 Same thing here.

00:50:34.000 You don't need to tighten it.

00:50:35.000 They're like, it's all flexible.

00:50:36.000 Everything, all the conductors are inside, so it'll do exactly what it needs to do.

00:50:40.000 Don't they have that for...

00:50:41.000 Armor for motorcycle riders now.

00:50:43.000 I don't know. 0.97

00:50:43.000 I think they have some shit when you hit the ground, the impact flattens it out. 0.97

00:50:47.000 It makes it hard. 0.99

00:50:48.000 Yeah, I don't know if that's in testing or if that's actually for sale.

00:50:52.000 I think that's testing.

00:50:52.000 I saw that video.

00:50:53.000 But one of the things they've come out recently with, and I know a lot of people say, Man, you guys always talk about the fucking singularity. 0.98

00:50:59.000 I'm tired of hearing this. 0.96

00:51:00.000 That's like the number one complaint in the podcast.

00:51:02.000 And I admit it. 0.99

00:51:02.000 Because I fucking drone on about it. 0.99

00:51:04.000 Why? 0.99

00:51:04.000 Because I really do think about it every day. 0.99

00:51:06.000 And when I see things like this.

00:51:08.000 Okay, look.

00:51:09.000 Artificial skin made from spider silk.

00:51:12.000 Yes!

00:51:12.000 Bulletproof.

00:51:13.000 Isn't that amazing?

00:51:14.000 Dude, I'm going to get bulletproof skin.

00:51:16.000 It's going to be awesome.

00:51:16.000 I can't wait until this is legal.

00:51:18.000 I'm going to get a full body. 0.65

00:51:19.000 They're going to skin me. 0.83

00:51:20.000 They're going to try to keep me alive while they skin me. 0.99

00:51:22.000 And then they replace your skin with bulletproof spider silk skin.

00:51:27.000 How crazy is it?

00:51:28.000 How many people are going to sign up for that?

00:51:29.000 You don't want to be an early adoptee.

00:51:30.000 It's like fake lips.

00:51:31.000 Read the ingredients, dude. 1.00

00:51:32.000 Wait until they get that shit down, you know? 1.00

00:51:34.000 You don't want to have fucking big stitches under your armpits. 1.00

00:51:37.000 Yeah, they left giant fucking scars, dude. 1.00

00:51:39.000 I like my new skin. 0.99

00:51:40.000 It's bulletproof and everything, but I fucking hate the scars. 0.97

00:51:42.000 Read how they make it, dude. 0.98

00:51:43.000 It's goat's milk.

00:51:45.000 They put this enzyme or they... 0.98

00:51:47.000 They fucked with the genetics, the DNA, if you will. 0.62

00:51:50.000 It's amazing, man. 0.98

00:51:51.000 Of this weird...

00:51:52.000 Goat's milk made it more like spiders. 0.99

00:51:55.000 So whatever they milk out of the goat, they spin into this fucking hard-ass substance. 0.99

00:52:01.000 Five times stronger than Kevlar. 0.99

00:52:04.000 How dope is nature? 1.00

00:52:06.000 This crazy little giant little fucking insect thing with this weird abdomen produces this shit. 1.00

00:52:12.000 That's insane. 1.00

00:52:13.000 There was a line in this great Batman, well it was a Swamp Thing issue that Batman was in years ago that Alan Moore wrote.

00:52:19.000 Where Swamp Thing, you know, he's an elemental.

00:52:22.000 He's got the power of nature on his side and whatnot.

00:52:24.000 Big Swamp Thing fan back in the Dizze.

00:52:26.000 So he attacks Gotham.

00:52:28.000 They have his woman. 0.97

00:52:29.000 They've tied up Abby Arcane.

00:52:30.000 They've kept her in jail. 1.00

00:52:32.000 They've arrested her because she's cohabitated with a vegetative humanoid. 1.00

00:52:37.000 Really?

00:52:37.000 Yeah, the Swamp Thing.

00:52:38.000 And so they put her in jail. 0.99

00:52:40.000 She was supposed to be arrested in Houma and they arrest her in Gotham instead.

00:52:43.000 And Swamp Thing is like, we want her released. 0.98

00:52:45.000 And they were like, we can't.

00:52:46.000 She's, you know, she committed a crime. 1.00

00:52:48.000 She's going to be healthier on trial and whatnot. 0.97

00:52:49.000 And Swamp Thing slowly takes over Gotham.

00:52:53.000 He warns them.

00:52:53.000 He appears from...

00:52:55.000 He can make himself, as you know, out of any vegetative material whatsoever.

00:52:59.000 Turns into a giant head and is just like, release the woman or I will take the city. 0.96

00:53:05.000 They end the one issue, part one, of you see Gotham start falling into jungle. 0.99

00:53:11.000 He just over-vegetates everything and people just go back to fucking nature. 0.86

00:53:15.000 He takes the city and turns it back into the jungle in the last panel. 0.99

00:53:19.000 There's a high view of all this, of course, and standing on a gargoyle is the one motherfucker who does not want anything to go back to the jungle. 0.98

00:53:26.000 And it's Batman. 1.00

00:53:28.000 Powerful fucking book. 0.99

00:53:29.000 But at one point, second issue, Swamp Thing has this line where he goes just like, if nature but shrugged, you'd all be gone, or something very powerful like that. 0.99

00:53:39.000 But it's the if nature but shrugged line that always got me.

00:53:42.000 Because he was talking about...

00:53:44.000 We think we command everything. 1.00

00:53:46.000 We think we've mastered shit. 0.98

00:53:48.000 We know what we're doing, but it's just like you talked about before, a cataclysmic event that wipes out half the planet or something like that. 0.99

00:53:55.000 That's if nature but shrugs.

00:53:56.000 It happens out here.

00:53:58.000 You know, when we feel the tremors, the earthquakes, we're reminded all the time that surface fleas, as George Carlin described us.

00:54:06.000 But when you see nature going crazy with the weather and whatnot, you start sitting there going, Oh, like, do you remember that George Carlin bit where he talked about how the planet's fine? 1.00

00:54:15.000 The people are fucked. 0.98

00:54:16.000 I mean, it's a legendary bit, but yeah, you know, he starts theorizing on like the planet, trying to pick us off with disease and shit like that. 1.00

00:54:24.000 And you start...

00:54:25.000 Every time I see a natural disaster, it's all I can think about.

00:54:28.000 It's just like the planet's after us again.

00:54:30.000 They found the world's largest pyramid by volume in Guatemala.

00:54:35.000 Apparently they found it a couple years ago.

00:54:37.000 It's enormous by volume.

00:54:39.000 It's like a ziggurat?

00:54:40.000 Or is it a pyramid?

00:54:41.000 It's like a Mayan pyramid.

00:54:42.000 You know, the Mayan pyramids, they weren't smooth like the Egyptian pyramids, but they all went into that same shape, essentially.

00:54:49.000 Well, they found it in Guatemala, covered in jungle.

00:54:53.000 I mean, this is just a totally lost, amazing civilization covered in jungle.

00:55:00.000 And they think there might be thousands of these.

00:55:03.000 Thousands of these all throughout South America.

00:55:06.000 Thousands of lost temples and pyramids, this incredible civilization that existed that made these immense structures in a place that's so nuts that the jungle just overgrew everything to the point where they thought it was a mountain. 0.70

00:55:20.000 They thought it was a mountain and they start excavating it and find out it's the biggest fucking pyramid by volume on earth.

00:55:27.000 When did this happen? 0.98

00:55:28.000 2009, apparently.

00:55:29.000 They had it on CNN. Somebody just posted it recently and I tweeted it.

00:55:33.000 It says, the thing on YouTube is world's largest pyramid discovered.

00:55:38.000 They lost this whole thing, man.

00:55:40.000 People had moved out of there so much to the point where there was nothing living there.

00:55:44.000 It was just trees and the whole thing just filled with grass and trees and someone had to come along thousands of years later and kick something over and go, what's this?

00:55:54.000 Dig a little hole.

00:55:55.000 Hey man, this is a brick.

00:55:56.000 Hey, bring over a shovel. 0.99

00:55:57.000 And the next thing you know, they're like, what the fuck is this? 1.00

00:55:59.000 You maniacs. 1.00

00:56:00.000 And they start slowly taking away. 1.00

00:56:02.000 You blew it up.

00:56:03.000 Do you imagine what that experience must be like of finding something like this?

00:56:06.000 That'd be phenomenal.

00:56:08.000 I mean, well, it's the opposite of whatever Geraldo Rivera felt when he opened up Al Capone's vault and was like, nothing.

00:56:15.000 There's nothing in here.

00:56:17.000 But the shock that this could be left behind, the shock that this is, you know, thousands of years ago, we can't even really wrap our heads around that. 0.99

00:56:25.000 They built this shit and then it all went bad and the fucking jungle overtook the land. 0.99

00:56:29.000 Do you go to Atlantis? 1.00

00:56:31.000 Do you go as far back as Atlantis or no?

00:56:32.000 Do I believe in Atlantis?

00:56:34.000 Well, there's some archaeologists that believe they found it off of Spain.

00:56:37.000 In fact, they have concentric rings that they've found in a satellite view of the ocean.

00:56:43.000 Somehow or another, they can see the topography of the ocean from space.

00:56:47.000 And in this satellite view, they found this place that literally matches the geography, matches the area that it would be, matches the local layer, matches, you know, there's folk layer that is attached to it, you know, that you could be attributed to history, you know, you could say it's actual history.

00:57:03.000 So they believe that they have found Atlantis.

00:57:05.000 And what had happened to it?

00:57:07.000 This place was also very subject to tsunamis.

00:57:10.000 It's had many tsunamis before.

00:57:12.000 And they think that's most likely what happened.

00:57:14.000 Was that, you know, these people lived on a part of the sea.

00:57:17.000 They had an advanced civilization.

00:57:19.000 It got really prosperous.

00:57:20.000 But they weren't aware yet of tsunamis along those lines.

00:57:24.000 Like, if you go a few thousand years without a tsunami, it's not unheard of.

00:57:28.000 The blink of a word.

00:57:30.000 The world doesn't...

00:57:31.000 What hasn't happened in a few thousand years that we're unaware of and suddenly is going to happen again?

00:57:36.000 Well, especially on the West Coast, man.

00:57:38.000 I mean, we know that some big ones have hit, I believe, up as far north as like Seattle and Portland, Oregon. 0.82

00:57:43.000 Like hundreds of years ago, that place got fucked up by tsunamis. 0.63

00:57:46.000 It's real possible. 0.92

00:57:48.000 I mean, the ocean is gigantic and it's right there.

00:57:50.000 But if...

00:57:51.000 My point is that if a few hundred years go by and there's no tsunami, that's not unusual.

00:57:55.000 So if this civilization was allowed to prosper and grow in a few hundred years, it could have been super advanced.

00:58:00.000 We know that they could do a bunch of things back in, you know, 10,000 plus years ago that we didn't think they could do.

00:58:06.000 And we're more and more figuring out as time goes on that they might have been way more advanced than we ever gave them credit for.

00:58:12.000 They might have even had telescopes.

00:58:14.000 There's people that believe that they found lenses that they could attribute to being ground down.

00:58:18.000 And some say that they're not strong enough to actually work as a telescope, but it could have been one of many.

00:58:25.000 They could have evolved it. 0.95

00:58:26.000 If they came up with this initial idea and you found a bad version of it, just the fact that they had figured out that they could make something out of crystal and look through it, that's some pretty advanced shit. 0.96

00:58:34.000 Right. 0.91

00:58:34.000 What are you looking for? 0.91

00:58:35.000 What are you doing with that?

00:58:36.000 You sure that's just ornamental?

00:58:37.000 Were they making telescopes?

00:58:39.000 Were they making microscopes? 0.99

00:58:40.000 What the fuck were they doing? 0.99

00:58:41.000 How much is left? 0.99

00:58:45.000 They're examining.

00:58:46.000 And the unexamined life is not worth living, so they're philosophical people.

00:58:50.000 They were looking for answers. 0.55

00:58:52.000 So it wasn't enough to just be like, feed me, give me sex.

00:58:56.000 It was enough to be like, I want to look beyond our world or deeper into our world.

00:59:01.000 And a totally different way they did it from the way we did it.

00:59:03.000 We have this whole petrochemical way of viewing the world, and we think that's the only way to do it.

00:59:08.000 And it may not be. 0.97

00:59:09.000 It may be that there are some civilizations that have reached some staggering heights without the use of that, and we just don't know how the fuck they did it.

00:59:15.000 We don't know how they moved a lot of the great stones to make giant structures throughout history. 0.85

00:59:20.000 That's this guy Graham Hancock.

00:59:21.000 That's like his specialty on this thing.

00:59:24.000 And he wrote a book called Supernatural all about his experiences with this ayahuasca, this drinking this brew, and all his experiences with psychedelics and how empowering they've been to him and how he believes that it's very likely that they are the source of human culture and human knowledge and human growth.

00:59:42.000 It started there.

00:59:43.000 Source of self-awareness that it probably started with psychedelic experiences.

00:59:47.000 And he's not the only one to say this.

00:59:49.000 McKenna believed it, as I said before, and a lot of people echo it.

00:59:52.000 But I just think...

00:59:54.000 I think everyone who's creative, everyone who is an artist, everyone who is a thinker, you deserve to go through an experience with someone who knows what they're doing.

01:00:05.000 That's why it should be legal, and there should be shamans, and there should be someone who runs a center that can evaluate whether or not, first of all, you're psychologically capable of handling such an experience, but give you the proper dosage, give you supervision.

01:00:17.000 It should be something that people encourage because it makes you a better person.

01:00:21.000 Back in the day...

01:00:23.000 That person existed.

01:00:25.000 He was the medicine man or she was the medicine man.

01:00:27.000 Shaman.

01:00:27.000 Exist in the Amazon right now.

01:00:28.000 The guys that make the ayahuasca.

01:00:30.000 Well, I guess there's no money in shamanism.

01:00:34.000 Is that why?

01:00:34.000 It's too tricky.

01:00:35.000 No, there's no money in it.

01:00:36.000 And if there was money, they'd put you in jail. 0.99

01:00:38.000 If you started getting money for being a shaman, they'll fucking lock you up. 0.98

01:00:41.000 What are you doing? 0.99

01:00:41.000 Shaman what? 0.99

01:00:42.000 What are you giving these fucking people? 1.00

01:00:44.000 Lock them up. 1.00

01:00:45.000 Shaman? 0.86

01:00:46.000 Check his house.

01:00:46.000 Shaman.

01:00:47.000 Yeah, I guess you can't practice medicine, especially holistic medicine.

01:00:53.000 They get weird.

01:00:53.000 First of all, I guarantee you, on Twitter tonight, you will be getting thousands of people telling you to do mushrooms.

01:00:59.000 Yeah, no doubt.

01:01:00.000 That's going to happen.

01:01:01.000 I'm telling you, look, I'm 41, you've got me a lot closer than anybody else. 0.98

01:01:05.000 And my wife, who I've been married to and fucking for 12 and respectively, 13 years. 0.99

01:01:10.000 Thank you, I get laid, everybody. 0.99

01:01:12.000 She told me years ago, she's like, you would really love mushrooms.

01:01:16.000 I can't believe you've never done mushrooms.

01:01:17.000 She's like, we should get mushrooms and do them together one day.

01:01:20.000 I said, no, I don't think I can.

01:01:21.000 You're a very unusual thinker, and I think it would only aid in your thought process.

01:01:25.000 It'd be fascinating.

01:01:26.000 You're so down-to-earth as it is, dude.

01:01:28.000 You're such a normal guy.

01:01:30.000 I don't know how you managed to navigate the entire system. 0.93

01:01:34.000 And you're in the movie system, which I think is even more ridiculous than my system. 0.85

01:01:38.000 Exactly. 0.92

01:01:39.000 Yeah, I'm in the fringes.

01:01:40.000 I'm in sports commentary and stand-up comedy.

01:01:45.000 And occasionally Fear Factor.

01:01:48.000 I'm fringed. 1.00

01:01:49.000 You're deep into the belly of bullshit. 1.00

01:01:51.000 But I stay on the fringe of it. 1.00

01:01:53.000 But it's amazing that you've been able to do that.

01:01:55.000 It's amazing you've been able to work with A-list actors.

01:01:57.000 You just have to give up ego, and you have to be willing to accept less.

01:02:01.000 You've got to manage your expectations.

01:02:02.000 Something I learned by being with my wife all these years.

01:02:05.000 This was a chick who didn't want to marry a fat guy, but she met one who she really liked. 0.98

01:02:09.000 He is good in all other ways except for that one.

01:02:11.000 She managed her expectations, and it all worked out for her.

01:02:15.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:15.000 I can deal with that, but the rest of the package is good.

01:02:19.000 You manage your expectations and you can do that sort of thing.

01:02:22.000 So for me, I always try to keep the ego in check, manage the expectations.

01:02:27.000 Expectations in this business are everyone should be paying attention to me, I should be at the epicenter of everything and I'm what's hot and blah blah blah.

01:02:34.000 And I've always accepted the fact that that was never going to be me, so I was always content to just dwell out here on the fringes.

01:02:39.000 And when you're out here on the fringes, I wouldn't say you're incorruptible, but People aren't that interested in corrupting you. 0.98

01:02:47.000 And you can also watch the corruption go on deep in the center of the bullshit, as you say. 0.87

01:02:53.000 And so while you're kind of not above it, but just outside of it, it's a lot easier to see it happening and stay away from it. 0.92

01:03:00.000 When you see a movie like Conan, do you go, oh, that must have been a mess to work on?

01:03:04.000 No, when I see it, I was just...

01:03:06.000 I mean, I didn't see it, but if I saw a movie like Conan, I would be like, oh man, could you imagine how many people put in so much time into this?

01:03:15.000 And then it didn't take off.

01:03:17.000 I see the expenses.

01:03:18.000 All I see now is the money.

01:03:20.000 I watch any movie and I'm just like, oh man.

01:03:22.000 The dude was a perfect Conan, too, though.

01:03:24.000 Could've done it, should've done it.

01:03:25.000 Why didn't that work?

01:03:26.000 Dude, I saw that trailer and I was just like, alright, I'm a huge fan of the Arnold Conan.

01:03:30.000 That was my Conan.

01:03:32.000 I wasn't aware they were making the Conan movie until I saw the trailer. 0.99

01:03:35.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:03:36.000 Why would anyone bother? 0.99

01:03:38.000 And I watched it and I was like, oh, you know what? 0.98

01:03:40.000 This is a lot closer to the real Conan than fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger's Conan. 0.97

01:03:43.000 It was very close. 1.00

01:03:44.000 It just got stupid too many times. 1.00

01:03:46.000 It just lost. 1.00

01:03:47.000 It went off the track and into the woods too many times.

01:03:49.000 But the dude as a character was great.

01:03:51.000 He would have been an awesome Conan.

01:03:53.000 Under the right direction with the right script.

01:03:55.000 but I read something that the guy who made it wrote, and he talked about his original script and how it got butchered all the way.

01:04:02.000 And that makes sense.

01:04:03.000 When you see something so disjointed, so many parts of it were awesome. 0.93

01:04:07.000 Like the little kid in the beginning, that was fucking badass.

01:04:10.000 You didn't see it? 0.98

01:04:11.000 You're talking about the new Conan.

01:04:12.000 Yeah, you didn't see the new Conan.

01:04:13.000 Save it.

01:04:14.000 But if you do see it, there's part... I'm a huge fan of the old Conan.

01:04:18.000 Well, I'm a Robert E. Howard fan, man.

01:04:20.000 So you go back even deeper.

01:04:21.000 All right, so as a Howard fan, Did you see, what was that movie about him?

01:04:25.000 With Renee Zellweger and Vince D'Onofrio.

01:04:29.000 You know what?

01:04:29.000 I bought that movie.

01:04:30.000 I have it in the back of my fucking shelf, my DVD shelf, and I've never watched it. 0.99

01:04:34.000 Something World, I forget. 0.92

01:04:35.000 But anyway, as a fan, as a Howard fan, did you like the Arnold Conan, or did you feel like...

01:04:42.000 Is it like reading The Shining book versus Kubrick's Shining movie?

01:04:46.000 It's like they cartoonified it, for sure.

01:04:48.000 Conan was much more ruthless and brutal and bloody, and it was way crazy.

01:04:54.000 They softened him, you feel?

01:04:56.000 Oh yeah, both of them.

01:04:57.000 Both of them softened him. 0.99

01:04:58.000 He was a compassionate guy and he always did the right thing, but he was fucking hacking heads off left and right. 0.99

01:05:06.000 He was just a barbarian making his way through magic and sorcery and monsters and fucking hordes of ogres. 1.00

01:05:14.000 They were just crazy ass fucking wild stories. 1.00

01:05:17.000 Robert E. Howard was a bad motherfucker, but he was ultimately crazy and wound up blowing his own brains out. 1.00

01:05:22.000 I think he was like 36 or something. 1.00

01:05:24.000 He was fairly young.

01:05:25.000 The World, that's the name of the movie, I think.

01:05:26.000 Is that what it is?

01:05:27.000 Yeah.

01:05:28.000 He killed himself.

01:05:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:29.000 He just was so into his fucking, his world of fantasy. 1.00

01:05:33.000 He was so good at it, but his real life just sucked, man. 1.00

01:05:36.000 His real life, he just was miserable. 0.99

01:05:38.000 He hated it.

01:05:39.000 And he made this character, whatever pain that he was going through in his real life, he poured it into this character being powerful.

01:05:47.000 There weren't just straight sci-fi fantasy books.

01:05:50.000 They were so consistent.

01:05:52.000 Right.

01:05:52.000 You know, there were some great ones, man.

01:05:54.000 I fucking loved them. 0.99

01:05:54.000 You would buy them the paperbacks with the Frank Frazetta fucking oil paintings on the cover of them. 0.99

01:05:59.000 Holy shit! 1.00

01:06:00.000 Yes. 1.00

01:06:01.000 You know, I mean, those were books, man. 0.99

01:06:03.000 That was some amazing shit that I did. 0.98

01:06:04.000 Did you read the comics as well? 0.99

01:06:06.000 Yeah, I did.

01:06:06.000 One of my saddest moments of my life is when I was so poor, when I was a struggling comedian, that I had to sell all my comic books.

01:06:11.000 Me too.

01:06:12.000 Which ones?

01:06:13.000 Conans?

01:06:13.000 I sold everything.

01:06:14.000 I sold my Spider-Mans, my Conans.

01:06:17.000 Mostly Marvel.

01:06:18.000 I had Marvel and then I had a lot of like creepy and eerie, you know, those independent magazines.

01:06:22.000 Would you make rent?

01:06:23.000 Just rent for a month?

01:06:24.000 Barely.

01:06:25.000 I probably got some food out of it.

01:06:26.000 I got 150 bucks for everything.

01:06:28.000 I mean, I'm talking years of collecting.

01:06:31.000 The guy totally screwed me, but I needed the money.

01:06:34.000 It's probably hard to sell, man. 0.94

01:06:35.000 You know, I mean, he's probably got to go through a lot.

01:06:37.000 He needs to make some money off of it.

01:06:38.000 I put together, we were trying to make Clerks.

01:06:40.000 I knew I was going to need money to make it.

01:06:42.000 And I was a big comic book fan.

01:06:44.000 I hadn't been collecting hardcore for that long.

01:06:46.000 It was more all modern age stuff.

01:06:48.000 I didn't go back and buy any gold or silver age.

01:06:50.000 But still, I did an evaluation of the collection, man.

01:06:53.000 It was like, I don't know, $20,000 and change or whatever.

01:06:56.000 $20,000 worth of comic books?

01:06:58.000 Based on the book value.

01:06:59.000 Book value.

01:07:00.000 So I said, okay, I'm going to go in the, yeah, of course, maybe over street.

01:07:05.000 I might have used on that point.

01:07:07.000 So I go, okay, this collection then, I'll sell it for $10,000.

01:07:12.000 And so I go to a bunch of comic book shows and a bunch of comic book dealers and stores, and this is 1991-92.

01:07:22.000 Let's say, no, 93-94.

01:07:24.000 No, 92-93.

01:07:25.000 92. And I give them my full catalog of everything I have with all the prices next to it, all the guide prices, and then the wrap-up of $10,000.

01:07:35.000 And it's a collection that's worth more than that.

01:07:37.000 You can have it for $10,000.

01:07:40.000 And nobody, of course, bit.

01:07:42.000 The only people that bit was this comic book store in Middletown, which was called what? 0.97

01:07:49.000 Holy crap.

01:07:50.000 I'm getting old and I can't remember. 0.89

01:07:52.000 But in any event, they took...

01:07:55.000 They took my comics.

01:07:56.000 They gave me $2,000.

01:07:59.000 Wait for it.

01:08:00.000 In store credit.

01:08:01.000 Oh.

01:08:02.000 So what I would do is sell my store credit to my friend, Walt Flanagan.

01:08:08.000 I'd be like, you go in Comics Plus.

01:08:10.000 That's the name of the store.

01:08:11.000 You go in Comics Plus.

01:08:12.000 You buy $100 worth of comics.

01:08:14.000 Use my credit.

01:08:16.000 Then give me 80 bucks cash.

01:08:18.000 So he was always getting like 20% off.

01:08:21.000 So I wasn't even getting the full 2K. Wow.

01:08:24.000 God damn. 1.00

01:08:25.000 But it paid for clerks. 1.00

01:08:28.000 So there you go.

01:08:28.000 It paid for a few bills that paid for clerks until Miramax picked clerks up and then there was that.

01:08:33.000 So, you know, I never felt bad letting go of a collection because it ultimately financed the thing that made everything else possible.

01:08:41.000 And then years later, you know, I always figured, like, if I want the books, I'd go back and get them.

01:08:44.000 And I collected the ones I did want again.

01:08:46.000 But then years later, I just bought a comic book store, and that was like buying an Insta collection.

01:08:49.000 You bought a comic book store?

01:08:50.000 Yeah, I got one in Red Bank, New Jersey, called Jane's on Bob's Secret Stash.

01:08:54.000 We had one out here in Westwood for a little while, but my friend got bored of running it, and then we wound up shattering it.

01:09:00.000 But the one back east has been open since, like, 97. That podcast, Tell Them Steve Dave, that my friend's got the show of on AMC, they record that at that comic book store.

01:09:12.000 How much better are comic books on weed?

01:09:15.000 I haven't really written...

01:09:17.000 I haven't read one yet.

01:09:18.000 I've written a bunch, and they're so much more fun to write on weed.

01:09:22.000 Yeah.

01:09:22.000 So you haven't read any since you've been smoking weed?

01:09:25.000 No.

01:09:25.000 I've been in a real non-audience mode for the last few years.

01:09:30.000 I don't read as much as I used to.

01:09:33.000 I don't watch TV as much as I used to. 1.00

01:09:34.000 You just create your own shit? 0.99

01:09:36.000 I've been on a real creation jag, and you know, it comes and goes, I think, in cycles. 1.00

01:09:40.000 The longer you stick around, the more you realize it.

01:09:43.000 Creatively fertile, like in the early part of my career, And then I get into career management, middle of the career, and perhaps not as fertile.

01:09:51.000 The ideas aren't as cool.

01:09:52.000 Maybe you start thinking more about like, well, I gotta eat.

01:09:54.000 I gotta make sure I got another job after this.

01:09:57.000 But now I'm back into a creatively fertile period where it's just like, let me try this, let me try this, let me try this.

01:10:02.000 You get a certain amount of respectability where you really do whatever you want.

01:10:05.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:10:06.000 That's what you hit.

01:10:06.000 That's why I'm like, you're crazy to say that you're not famous.

01:10:10.000 It's the name.

01:10:11.000 I never thought about it.

01:10:12.000 It doesn't matter.

01:10:13.000 It doesn't matter. 0.86

01:10:14.000 It's all nonsense.

01:10:14.000 But what's important is that you're doing something very different.

01:10:17.000 The whole way you're doing it.

01:10:19.000 The way you're doing it with constantly putting out these podcasts.

01:10:23.000 Just doing a podcast like this, you realize how much of who you are you put out there.

01:10:29.000 You're putting it out there every day like that.

01:10:32.000 Think about how bottomless we are in terms of like, if you can, think about how many podcasts you've done.

01:10:37.000 Couple that with all this stand-up you've done. 0.97

01:10:40.000 Couple that with every real conversation you ever shared with somebody in your fucking life, and you're still not done. 0.98

01:10:46.000 You still have so much more to say. 0.97

01:10:48.000 We're unfathomably deep human beings or deep creatures who can keep finding things to talk about.

01:10:55.000 We talk because what else is there?

01:10:58.000 If we're not communicating with ourselves, with each other, what are we doing here?

01:11:01.000 Well, especially now with the internet.

01:11:03.000 I mean, that's the big difference between now and 20 years ago. 0.85

01:11:06.000 That's why I say 20 years ago I'd be fucking freaking out that I didn't have the internet.

01:11:09.000 Because you can choose the community. 0.94

01:11:12.000 You can choose a community that you interact with. 0.97

01:11:15.000 And I bet you find, even though you have a lot of fucking people on your Twitter, I bet you find they're predominantly cool, aren't they? 0.97

01:11:20.000 Yes, across the board. 0.98

01:11:21.000 That's why I love Twitter because it's so positive.

01:11:24.000 Everything about it makes you feel good.

01:11:26.000 You have 1,800,000 plus of your fans tuned into you where you could tell them things and you could clue them in on stuff all the time.

01:11:33.000 And they're excited and happy.

01:11:35.000 It's all positive.

01:11:36.000 And they're predisposed to say something positive.

01:11:38.000 Every once in a while, of course, you get a random sniper jackass, but generally it's just like, oh my god, I just watched Clerks and it was great.

01:11:45.000 I've never seen it before. 0.96

01:11:47.000 I had a real shitty day.

01:11:49.000 Listen to the podcast. 0.78

01:11:50.000 Feel great.

01:11:50.000 Thanks.

01:11:51.000 Today has been the last two days.

01:11:53.000 Well, I mean, last week, two weeks, well, with the Canadian tour, but the last day, like not even full day, last 12 hours, Red State been on VOD since I woke up this morning, which was about...

01:12:03.000 I think I got up at four.

01:12:05.000 Ironically, I wake up around 4.20 every day. 0.99

01:12:07.000 I got up around four-ish and I started reading positive feedback because people can watch it on VOD at their fucking house or on their computer. 0.97

01:12:15.000 So people are watching it, tweeting me while they're watching it. 0.94

01:12:17.000 And, dude, it's like a never-ending series of great job patting you on the back.

01:12:23.000 Like I was saying before, it costs nothing to encourage an artist.

01:12:27.000 And the yield, the potential yield...

01:12:32.000 It's indescribable.

01:12:33.000 Think about it.

01:12:34.000 You encourage an artist. 1.00

01:12:36.000 One day they write that song that becomes that most important song in the world to you on that day that your parent fucking dies. 0.99

01:12:42.000 The song that says it all that you'll always be dialed into. 0.99

01:12:45.000 That person maybe writes a blog that puts the shit you always wanted to say right into perspective and you meme it out to everybody. 0.95

01:12:53.000 It becomes your mantra or they make a movie that is that movie that changes your life. 0.99

01:12:58.000 Whatever, man.

01:12:59.000 There's all upside to encouraging an artist.

01:13:01.000 Nothing good comes from the flip side.

01:13:04.000 Discouraging an artist. 0.99

01:13:05.000 Now, people will be like, well, you should discourage some fucking artist like Huey Bull or Kevin Smith. 1.00

01:13:11.000 Bullshit. 1.00

01:13:12.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:13:12.000 There's nothing bad. 1.00

01:13:14.000 Nothing good comes from that. 1.00

01:13:15.000 You tell some motherfucker you stink, don't do it anymore. 1.00

01:13:17.000 What are they going to do? 1.00

01:13:18.000 They stop, and maybe you don't like them, but maybe they don't inspire somebody else or make somebody else think, hey, I can try it.

01:13:25.000 You say that, but what about the concept of the salmon needing a waterfall to climb up to ensure that the strong genes survive?

01:13:32.000 And if every person had told you, oh, for Kevin Smith, those haters fueled you and gave you extra inspiration to push further ahead.

01:13:40.000 Do you work like that?

01:13:40.000 Do you feel like you work like that?

01:13:42.000 Some people do.

01:13:42.000 No, I try not to.

01:13:43.000 It's definitely a negative way to do it.

01:13:44.000 I know a lot of fighters use that as motivation.

01:13:46.000 I think you have to in that world.

01:13:47.000 Yeah, a lot of fighters like their haters.

01:13:49.000 And also, but think about it, as a fighter, you have to get over...

01:13:53.000 I know you say the primal brain is somewhere in there, but you've got to get over the brain that we've been dealing with for so many years, which is like, don't get hurt.

01:14:01.000 Don't go in there.

01:14:02.000 Don't run from danger.

01:14:04.000 Protect oneself.

01:14:05.000 So right then and there, they're working differently than anybody else.

01:14:08.000 They're going over their programming.

01:14:11.000 They're rewiring going in a different way.

01:14:13.000 And they have to try to stay zen in the moment and not freak out and let the adrenaline and everything just overwhelm them and go into full panic.

01:14:20.000 We had Shandling.

01:14:21.000 Gary Shandling was on our show at the house one day.

01:14:24.000 He likes to box.

01:14:26.000 He's a big boxer.

01:14:27.000 He was talking about almost the same thing you were in terms of you're there and not there.

01:14:32.000 It's about being there and letting go.

01:14:37.000 And it comes out of you.

01:14:38.000 Yeah.

01:14:39.000 I forget how he described it in terms of just not being where the punch is going to be.

01:14:45.000 And knowing that sooner or later you will get punched.

01:14:47.000 But...

01:14:48.000 The more you're in this moment...

01:14:51.000 Once again, it's so... 0.97

01:14:54.000 What I find fascinating about it is people who can fight or people who get in a ring and get physical and not just like, oh, we play some pickup basketball and shit. 0.67

01:15:01.000 But usually people get into boxing, fighting...

01:15:04.000 They could be so poetic about it because you are channeling into something, I guess, that most people don't.

01:15:09.000 We don't live in a world where we go around fighting people or getting into physical altercations involving our body.

01:15:15.000 So I think you guys do dial into something because every one of you is when you describe it for just a second. 0.98

01:15:21.000 I go like, yeah, man, I should fucking fight. 0.51

01:15:23.000 But I know I am not that guy. 0.99

01:15:26.000 In a minute, I'd get in the ring and be fucking taking... 0.99

01:15:28.000 The thought of getting hit would make me queasy and I'd pass out. 0.99

01:15:33.000 But fighters, people that do it, people who've actually been in a ring and fought or continue to do it are so poetic about it that they can almost sell you on it to the point of like, wow, I should give that a shot.

01:15:46.000 But I know I'm not made for being hit.

01:15:49.000 I won hit and I'm gone.

01:15:51.000 It's not for everybody.

01:15:52.000 Nothing's for everybody, right?

01:15:53.000 But what it really is about...

01:15:54.000 But it sounds like you want it to be for you.

01:15:56.000 Because you listen to it and go like, oh my god, could you imagine being zen about fighting?

01:16:03.000 About being there and not being there in that ring?

01:16:06.000 About... 0.99

01:16:07.000 Having to zone out but be very present so as not to get fucking killed by choice. 0.94

01:16:16.000 And you have to learn how to harness all of your potential, everything together, psychological, physical. 0.97

01:16:20.000 You've got to tune it all together.

01:16:22.000 You gotta make sure that your mind doesn't overwhelm your body with information.

01:16:25.000 You gotta make sure that you keep your heart rate steady and stay calm and see things exactly as they are, not exaggerated because you're under some adrenaline, heightened fear.

01:16:33.000 You gotta keep it together, man.

01:16:34.000 But what it really is is a vehicle for developing your human potential.

01:16:38.000 Martial arts or something, anything that's really difficult, man.

01:16:41.000 I think anything that's really, really, really fucking hard to do.

01:16:43.000 In doing so, you learn a lot about yourself while you're doing it.

01:16:46.000 And you learn about your potential.

01:16:48.000 You learn what you could push yourself through.

01:16:49.000 You learn how much focus you have in you.

01:16:51.000 You learn how to project it, how to keep it strong, how to keep it going, how to stay heightened, stay in a heightened state.

01:16:57.000 And that's what you get from that. 0.97

01:16:59.000 You learn excellence from anything, whether it's martial arts or fucking playing the violin or anything. 0.99

01:17:03.000 When shit's really difficult to do, you learn something about yourself in it. 0.98

01:17:08.000 Mastery of it leads to mastery of other things. 0.97

01:17:11.000 And even if it's not mastery, once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in all things.

01:17:16.000 Oh, that's beautiful.

01:17:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:18.000 Especially from a bad motherfucker chopping people up with a sword. 0.99

01:17:21.000 Yeah, I mean, normally you get kind of that homespun wisdom from, you know, a little bald man who's chubby who sits on a hill. 1.00

01:17:29.000 But this dude's like, no, I know a lot about life because I ended so fucking many of them. 0.58

01:17:35.000 So sweetly. 0.53

01:17:36.000 Yeah.

01:17:37.000 A slice of a razor-like sword across the neck and you watch the head separate from the body and fall down.

01:17:43.000 Like a lover's kiss.

01:17:44.000 The body twitches before it falls and a couple spurts of blood come out of the blowhole at the top and then it crumples.

01:17:51.000 Kaplunk. 0.80

01:17:52.000 You're making things awkward.

01:17:53.000 That's it.

01:17:54.000 That's the end of the podcast, folks.

01:17:55.000 This is the longest podcast in the history of podcasts.

01:17:57.000 How long did we go?

01:17:58.000 If you really get through it all.

01:17:59.000 Almost four hours.

01:18:00.000 If you really get through it all, ladies and gentlemen, God bless you.

01:18:02.000 You're beautiful.

01:18:04.000 iTunes, we're probably going to have to chop this up into part one and part two.

01:18:06.000 Yeah, it's going to take a while because you can't edit that big of a file.

01:18:09.000 Do you monitor while we do the show?

01:18:11.000 Monitor?

01:18:12.000 In terms of can you read feedback? 1.00

01:18:14.000 No, we did that before, but it was always nigger, cunt, nigger, cunt. 1.00

01:18:18.000 Really? 1.00

01:18:18.000 After a while, there's a lot of people just trying to get it. 1.00

01:18:20.000 What about Twitter?

01:18:20.000 I use Twitter.

01:18:21.000 Twitter's awesome.

01:18:21.000 Yeah, like Twitter, I'll monitor while we do the show.

01:18:24.000 But when there's a chat and you want people, like people want to like send you something that you'll read, they'll just say the most obscene, ridiculous, retarded shit. 0.99

01:18:33.000 So there was like a lot of people doing that, flooding things. 0.99

01:18:36.000 I was wondering if anyone, here we go, just listen to Kevin Smith and Joe Rogan, mind-blowing podcast.

01:18:42.000 Can I get my old song back, man?

01:18:44.000 No, dude, you gotta go with the 8-bit version.

01:18:47.000 There's no way.

01:18:48.000 It's not me, bro.

01:18:49.000 The MIDI version, man.

01:18:50.000 This is awesome.

01:18:50.000 I want to make a version of the last four minutes of Freebird.

01:18:53.000 Can we do that?

01:18:54.000 Can we make that my new interview?

01:18:56.000 I just want the last four minutes.

01:18:58.000 Just the last four?

01:18:59.000 Yeah, Freebird.

01:19:00.000 Freebird.

01:19:01.000 Leonard Skinner.

01:19:02.000 You know, that crazy guitar.

01:19:04.000 If I live tomorrow The end.

01:19:08.000 You know where the end comes?

01:19:09.000 I don't even have it on this guy.

01:19:10.000 Ladies and gentlemen, this has been an amazing podcast.

01:19:16.000 I've had a great time. 0.97

01:19:17.000 If you're still alive out there, if you're awake, if you haven't listened to us and driven your fucking car off the road and into the woods because we droned on and on for four hours, I'm sorry. 0.95

01:19:26.000 Anybody out there? 0.97

01:19:28.000 Anybody at all? 0.98

01:19:29.000 Remember the fucking day after? 0.97

01:19:30.000 When I was a kid, they did this TV movie about nuclear war, because we were all afraid about dying in nuclear war. 0.98

01:19:37.000 Stop, Drop, and Roll.

01:19:38.000 Yes!

01:19:39.000 But they made this movie called The Day After on ABC, and they were like, Viewer discretion is advised.

01:19:44.000 Like when that deep voice guy came into play first.

01:19:46.000 And they were telling you, this is intense.

01:19:49.000 It's no joke.

01:19:50.000 This is what could happen if America witnesses or feels the effects of a nuclear attack.

01:19:57.000 And they, at one point, they're, you know, on the microphone going like, this is blah, blah, blah, wherever we are, Idaho.

01:20:03.000 Is anybody out there?

01:20:04.000 And then, you know, they'd wait for a response. 1.00

01:20:06.000 No fucking response. 0.99

01:20:07.000 This is KDK, blah, blah, blah, in Idaho. 1.00

01:20:09.000 Is anybody out there?

01:20:11.000 Anybody at all?

01:20:12.000 Oh, it was so haunting as a kid.

01:20:14.000 I was like, could you imagine? 0.99

01:20:15.000 There's only like 12 people left in this fucking town. 0.99

01:20:18.000 And they're trying to reach other people in the world. 1.00

01:20:20.000 They don't even know if anybody's fucking left because they saw mushroom clouds and shit. 0.99

01:20:25.000 Terrified me as a kid. 0.98

01:20:26.000 But when you were just like, if anybody's listening, remind me of that.

01:20:29.000 Like, is anybody out there?

01:20:30.000 I think it was John Lithgow who said it too. 0.99

01:20:32.000 You pulled me back to Lithgow circa 82, bitch. 1.00

01:20:35.000 That's how class you are. 1.00

01:20:36.000 That's what kind of performer you are.

01:20:38.000 That's amazing.

01:20:41.000 It was great, man.

01:20:42.000 Thank you very much.

01:20:43.000 I'm honored.

01:20:43.000 I'm really honored to be your friend.

01:20:45.000 It's cool as fuck. 0.99

01:20:46.000 Likewise. 0.99

01:20:46.000 Let's do it again all the time. 0.99

01:20:48.000 I told people, I said, but you're busy.

01:20:52.000 You've got a thousand things going on.

01:20:54.000 But I said, the last time you won my thing, I said, I want to do a podcast every week with Rogan just called Centered, where we just get stoned and they go, that's called the Joe Rogan experience.

01:21:04.000 That's what they do.

01:21:04.000 I was like, oh, I didn't know.

01:21:05.000 Well, we could combine our forces, dude.

01:21:07.000 I know.

01:21:08.000 Could you imagine?

01:21:09.000 I'd be more than happy.

01:21:09.000 We might just get weed legalized in half this country.

01:21:11.000 I know, man.

01:21:12.000 Look, for sure.

01:21:13.000 We're poster children.

01:21:14.000 Yes, we are.

01:21:15.000 We both work.

01:21:16.000 Because most people look at stoners.

01:21:16.000 We work.

01:21:17.000 We're productive.

01:21:18.000 We're well-spoken.

01:21:20.000 I don't know about well-educated.

01:21:21.000 And nice.

01:21:21.000 And pretty nice guys.

01:21:22.000 And we're nice people.

01:21:23.000 Yeah, we're nice people.

01:21:24.000 You've got it going on, though, too, because you've got the strength.

01:21:26.000 Well, that's the confusing thing.

01:21:27.000 You can protect us.

01:21:28.000 Yes.

01:21:28.000 We need...

01:21:29.000 Yeah, we're like, look, he's smart, but look at those guns.

01:21:32.000 We're okay behind him.

01:21:33.000 I flipped the switch.

01:21:35.000 It's confusing.

01:21:36.000 I'm confusing people.

01:21:37.000 Alright, whatever.

01:21:39.000 Thank you very much for coming here, man.

01:21:40.000 We had a great time.

01:21:41.000 It was an awesome conversation. 0.96

01:21:43.000 Thank you, everybody, for all the love on Twitter and on Facebook and all that shit.

01:21:48.000 I think we're in a rare era, a rare time, and this time is what brought me and you together. 0.91

01:21:54.000 This crazy internet we've got going on here.

01:21:57.000 I'm very happy that it's all free.

01:21:59.000 We're going to keep it free forever, and don't ever worry about that.

01:22:02.000 I'll pay for bandwidth.

01:22:03.000 We'll figure it out.

01:22:04.000 This podcast, I think one of the best things about your podcast as well.

01:22:07.000 It's free Free. 0.99

01:22:08.000 Go get it, bitches. 1.00

01:22:09.000 That's the motto. 1.00

01:22:10.000 You gotta get it free for everybody.

01:22:11.000 They'll pay you back in other ways.

01:22:13.000 Exactly.

01:22:13.000 But just don't get it up front.

01:22:15.000 You'll get it on the back end.

01:22:16.000 You earn your place in their life.

01:22:19.000 Pay as you exit as the little rascals. 0.95

01:22:21.000 Remember they did that show and they were like, you know, don't pay.

01:22:24.000 Pay as you exit.

01:22:25.000 And they were all worried.

01:22:26.000 I think Spanker was like, get out of your mind.

01:22:28.000 They're never gonna pay.

01:22:29.000 And then at the end of the show, as bad as the show was, they all paid. 1.00

01:22:33.000 That's hippie bohemian shit, man. 1.00

01:22:35.000 That's awesome. 1.00

01:22:35.000 Thank you very much, buddy. 1.00

01:22:36.000 It was awesome.

01:22:37.000 Thanks for having me, bro.

01:22:37.000 Thank you to The Fleshlight.

01:22:38.000 Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, and enter in the code name ROGAN, and you will get 15% off the number one sex toy from Matt.

01:22:47.000 Then you'll come. 0.97

01:22:48.000 Holla at your boy. 0.81

01:22:50.000 And I have some dates coming up, but I can't read my Twitter page.

01:22:55.000 What is it?

01:22:56.000 We've got Washington, D.C. September 30th.

01:22:59.000 Tickets just went on sale today.

01:23:00.000 There was a pre-seal yesterday.

01:23:01.000 Where?

01:23:01.000 Synagogue?

01:23:02.000 Where are you playing?

01:23:02.000 The Warner Theater.

01:23:03.000 Oh, that's good.

01:23:04.000 Synagogue? 0.95

01:23:05.000 Synagogue's a nice place.

01:23:06.000 I like the Warner.

01:23:06.000 It's called Synagogue?

01:23:07.000 Yeah, the 6th Street Synagogue, I think it is. 0.82

01:23:09.000 Oh, yeah?

01:23:10.000 It's literally a synagogue.

01:23:11.000 It's about 600 seater.

01:23:13.000 I did a show there, a Q&A, I think last time I was in D.C. It was cool.

01:23:16.000 That's not where we played Red State.

01:23:18.000 We played Red State, I believe, at the...

01:23:20.000 At the Warner.

01:23:21.000 But we played, I did a Q&A at the synagogue.

01:23:24.000 It's a nice place.

01:23:24.000 Not, you know, it's 600 seats, but it's pretty cool.

01:23:26.000 Nice.

01:23:27.000 Cool.

01:23:27.000 And then Houston, Texas, goes on sale Tuesday, so I'll let all you guys know.

01:23:31.000 Where are you going there?

01:23:32.000 The Verizon Wireless Center. 1.00

01:23:34.000 Center, motherfucker. 1.00

01:23:35.000 How many seats is that, bitch? 1.00

01:23:37.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:23:37.000 It's a couple thousand. 1.00

01:23:38.000 Look at this guy pulling out his fucking performance. 1.00

01:23:41.000 You know what? 1.00

01:23:42.000 I'm just kind of balling.

01:23:43.000 You know what?

01:23:46.000 Filling seats.

01:23:47.000 I actually should tell you that I started doing Q&As at the end of my shows. 0.98

01:23:51.000 One of the reasons, because I saw you doing it and I thought it looked cool as fuck.

01:23:54.000 It's fun, isn't it? 0.83

01:23:54.000 The ability to just let people walk up to you and ask questions. 0.83

01:23:57.000 You know who I saw do it?

01:23:58.000 It stayed with me my entire youth.

01:24:00.000 My grandmother used to watch Carol Burnett's show.

01:24:02.000 At the end of the show, she'd stand out there and do a Q&A. Yeah, at the end of her show.

01:24:07.000 Sketch show.

01:24:08.000 Not every episode, but when she did it, it was fun because she was literally no masks, no disguises, no costumes. 0.89

01:24:16.000 She literally came out on stage and was sitting there talking to the audience. 1.00

01:24:19.000 She'd tug her ear, say goodbye to her grandmother, whatever that meant. 0.97

01:24:23.000 But it was, I don't know, it was just informal, casual, and she seemed so fucking quick.

01:24:27.000 Like, she always had a great answer and stuff.

01:24:30.000 And Shandling was on the show, when Gary Shandling was on our show a couple weeks ago, he said that he was talking to Carol Burnett about that show, and she said, she goes, do you know how that worked?

01:24:42.000 We only used the funny questions.

01:24:45.000 Ha ha ha! 0.99

01:24:47.000 She whispered it to him like it was a fucking great recipe or something. 1.00

01:24:50.000 Oh, that's hilarious. 1.00

01:24:52.000 Duh.

01:24:52.000 But I liked it.

01:24:53.000 I always liked it as a kid.

01:24:54.000 That was my favorite part of that show.

01:24:56.000 It was like, oh my gosh, he's going to literally talk to the audience.

01:24:58.000 Phil Harmon used to do that after every taping of news radio.

01:25:01.000 Did he really?

01:25:01.000 Yeah.

01:25:01.000 He would Q&A with the audience?

01:25:03.000 He would do it all the time.

01:25:04.000 Next time we do this, we just got to talk about Phil Harmon.

01:25:07.000 Yeah, he would even do stand-up.

01:25:08.000 He would go out and do impressions because he had a crazy Clinton impression.

01:25:11.000 Right, yeah.

01:25:12.000 You know, I was thinking about... 1.00

01:25:15.000 I don't have a small penis. 1.00

01:25:17.000 Monica Lewinsky has a big mouth. 1.00

01:25:19.000 That was a good Phil S. Clinton.

01:25:23.000 Thank you.

01:25:23.000 And he would go and do Q&A with the audience, but he was very sharp and very quick.

01:25:27.000 And I actually started, I never, for the first time, like the first season, I never talked to the audience very much.

01:25:33.000 I would say hi and whatever, but I never would do like stand-up for them. 0.95

01:25:36.000 Then after he started doing it, I was like, yeah, we could just fucking fuck around and talk to the audience. 0.96

01:25:40.000 So Andy would go up and do it and I would do it. 0.99

01:25:42.000 It was a good time.

01:25:44.000 Especially because A, captive audience.

01:25:46.000 B, predisposed to like you.

01:25:48.000 C, you're trained pros.

01:25:50.000 That's what you do.

01:25:51.000 And they like it.

01:25:51.000 It's fun for them.

01:25:52.000 It's like all of a sudden we've gone off the normal pattern of what's going to happen here tonight and they're just having a good time and fucking around. 1.00

01:26:00.000 Dude, you're the shit. 1.00

01:26:01.000 Thank you very much. 1.00

01:26:01.000 We're going to do this all the time, folks. 1.00

01:26:03.000 This is a new empire we're building together or something.

01:26:06.000 Whatever.

01:26:07.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:26:07.000 Brick by brick of weed.

01:26:09.000 This is the end of this podcast.

01:26:10.000 Thank you very much for getting here.

01:26:12.000 And we'll see you soon.

01:26:13.000 Sunday with Patton Oswalt, ladies and gentlemen.

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 01, 2011

Joe Rogan Experience #134 - Kevin Smith (Part 3)

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