The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1421 - Jim Norton

00:00:01.000 Three, two, one.

00:00:03.000 Vancouver, April 20th.

00:00:05.000 We're doing a 420 show.

00:00:06.000 Chito Santino, Andrew Santino, Tony Hinchcliffe, and me at some big-ass arena.

00:00:10.000 Go to JoeRogan.com.

00:00:12.000 We're doing every year.

00:00:13.000 Hi, Jimmy.

00:00:14.000 Hi, buddy.

00:00:14.000 I do a 420 show.

00:00:16.000 No headphones?

00:00:16.000 You want to do headphones or no headphones?

00:00:17.000 I don't mind doing it.

00:00:18.000 Casual?

00:00:18.000 No, I don't...

00:00:19.000 You do that weird thing with one in, one out?

00:00:21.000 Well, I have to.

00:00:22.000 I'm claustrophobic.

00:00:22.000 Really?

00:00:23.000 Yeah, it feels weird.

00:00:24.000 You feel like the headphones are trapping you?

00:00:25.000 I don't know.

00:00:26.000 I feel like I'm underwater.

00:00:28.000 Like, I don't like the way that sounds.

00:00:29.000 And now I know that's better. 0.99

00:00:30.000 I look like an asshole, but it feels better. 0.99

00:00:32.000 A lot of people do that. 1.00

00:00:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:33.000 A lot of musicians do that.

00:00:34.000 They do like one in, one out.

00:00:35.000 It's the air.

00:00:36.000 It's feeling the air.

00:00:37.000 I don't know why the pressure of the headphones.

00:00:39.000 I just don't like it.

00:00:39.000 I like to be trapped.

00:00:40.000 You do?

00:00:41.000 Trapped in the headphones.

00:00:42.000 I don't care for it at all.

00:00:43.000 I like hearing the other person's voice right next to mine so I don't talk louder than they talk.

00:00:48.000 We don't talk over each other.

00:00:50.000 That's what it does.

00:00:51.000 That's professional, but I can't...

00:00:52.000 Howard, I heard, would do it where they wouldn't even look at each other.

00:00:55.000 I have to be in the room looking at the person's mouth.

00:00:58.000 I don't like to do it.

00:01:00.000 You wouldn't look at each other.

00:01:00.000 No, meaning the way they were set up for the cameras, sometimes you're facing both kind of the same way because of the cameras.

00:01:05.000 They weren't always, I don't think, face-to-face.

00:01:07.000 If you looked at his old setup, wasn't Artie sitting behind him at one point?

00:01:10.000 Yeah, Artie was sitting to the side of him, and then the guest was over there.

00:01:16.000 Yeah, I could never do that.

00:01:19.000 Well, you know, Howard also runs a board.

00:01:22.000 That's the difference. 1.00

00:01:23.000 Like, he's got a bunch of shit in front of him. 0.99

00:01:24.000 He's actually a trained radio guy. 1.00

00:01:27.000 He knows all the Jamie shit. 0.98

00:01:28.000 He knows all them switches, all that fancy stuff over there. 1.00

00:01:31.000 Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck's going on over there. 0.92

00:01:33.000 I can basically set... 0.98

00:01:35.000 I can start and stop, but I hate running the board.

00:01:37.000 It's distracting, and I don't like doing it.

00:01:39.000 It just doesn't feel fun.

00:01:40.000 You know, what's crazy is they have full setups now for podcasts, like a podcast board that you buy.

00:01:47.000 Like, it's set up for podcasts.

00:01:48.000 You just plug mics into it, and it's all kind of there.

00:01:51.000 Do they have audio compression on those things, too?

00:01:53.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:53.000 It's called, like, the Podcaster Pro or something like that.

00:01:56.000 It's in the name, yeah.

00:01:56.000 You can put a phone into it for calls.

00:01:59.000 Yeah.

00:01:59.000 Oh, wow.

00:02:00.000 Calls.

00:02:01.000 Yeah.

00:02:01.000 In case you want to take calls.

00:02:03.000 I like being live.

00:02:03.000 We're live now, too.

00:02:04.000 Yeah.

00:02:05.000 I like being live.

00:02:05.000 Right now on this?

00:02:06.000 No.

00:02:06.000 We're not live anymore.

00:02:07.000 Oh, you don't do live anymore?

00:02:08.000 No.

00:02:08.000 Oh, okay.

00:02:09.000 Because I always like the feeling of live because if you fuck up, it's out there. 0.97

00:02:11.000 No, there was companies that were taking clips as we were live and uploading them immediately and building these huge channels with hundreds of thousands of subscribers. 0.97

00:02:22.000 And you could use that for anything.

00:02:23.000 They were selling things.

00:02:24.000 They had links to stuff.

00:02:25.000 They're basically building a business off of your clips.

00:02:28.000 So you've got to be a little bit more...

00:02:30.000 You can't let that happen because you also don't know what they're going to turn that channel into.

00:02:35.000 They could turn that channel into anything.

00:02:36.000 Right.

00:02:38.000 It's...

00:02:39.000 YouTube is still a little bit of like a Wild West sort of situation.

00:02:42.000 Then there was also copyright issues.

00:02:44.000 Like, you get three copyright flags in a row.

00:02:46.000 They take your whole channel down.

00:02:48.000 And we had gotten a bunch of them.

00:02:49.000 We've gotten them for clips that we show.

00:02:51.000 We've gotten them for pictures.

00:02:52.000 Like, you have to try to figure out, like, what are you allowed to do?

00:02:55.000 What are you not allowed to do?

00:02:56.000 What's fair use?

00:02:57.000 And, like, does fair use mean they just don't come after you for it?

00:03:00.000 Like, I don't know what it means either.

00:03:02.000 It's not that clearly defined, unfortunately.

00:03:05.000 But it's also, you know, like...

00:03:08.000 The internet in general, at one point in time, if you went to YouTube, you would find all kinds of shit that was on people's channels that was copyright-protected stuff.

00:03:21.000 TV shows, movies, music, all kinds of stuff.

00:03:25.000 And they've slowly started, you know, not really slowly.

00:03:28.000 Is it accurate to say?

00:03:30.000 They've kind of eliminated a lot of that stuff now.

00:03:32.000 But they're operating at an insane scale.

00:03:35.000 Like, the amount of people that upload stuff to YouTube every day, it's probably unimaginable.

00:03:41.000 Like, if you could see it.

00:03:42.000 You can't keep up with it.

00:03:43.000 Right.

00:03:43.000 If you had a giant screen in front of you, and you saw all the videos that are being instantly uploaded to YouTube at any given moment, you'd probably be like, what?

00:03:51.000 Yeah.

00:03:52.000 Like, there was some crazy quote.

00:03:55.000 That there's more content created today.

00:03:58.000 Like, I think, what is the number?

00:04:00.000 It's almost like in one day, there's more content being created than in all of human history before like 10 years ago.

00:04:07.000 Wow.

00:04:08.000 Yeah.

00:04:09.000 Well, how many podcasts are there?

00:04:11.000 Isn't there a couple hundred thousand podcasts for a while?

00:04:14.000 700,000?

00:04:15.000 700,000 podcasts.

00:04:16.000 Yeah, it's also, I don't know how they keep up with what you're allowed to put on, what you're not.

00:04:21.000 If somebody doesn't complain, do they catch it and pull it off?

00:04:24.000 Or the algorithms catch it and pull it off?

00:04:26.000 Sometimes, yeah.

00:04:27.000 Here, what is this?

00:04:29.000 Every minute of the day.

00:04:30.000 There's like all these things are happening every minute of the day.

00:04:33.000 4,166,000 users like posts on Facebook.

00:04:39.000 But what is the...

00:04:40.000 YouTube right here.

00:04:40.000 300 hours is uploaded every minute.

00:04:43.000 Wow.

00:04:43.000 But what about the thing about data?

00:04:47.000 Like the amount of data that people produce today...

00:04:51.000 It's something like that.

00:04:52.000 I think it's like one days where the data is equivalent to the entire human history up until like 20 years ago or something like that.

00:05:00.000 Uh-huh.

00:05:01.000 Ad block.

00:05:01.000 They gotcha.

00:05:02.000 What does it say here?

00:05:03.000 Let's see if they have that quote.

00:05:04.000 Does it say that?

00:05:04.000 I know what you're talking about.

00:05:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:05:05.000 It's a nutty quote.

00:05:08.000 More than 3.7 billion humans use the internet. 0.99

00:05:12.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:05:13.000 Yep. 0.99

00:05:14.000 Who's it?

00:05:14.000 Is there people out there with no internet?

00:05:16.000 You know, do you know who Don Gavin is?

00:05:18.000 Funny you say Don Gavin.

00:05:19.000 I literally, I know who he is from all of you guys.

00:05:21.000 The Boston guys love him.

00:05:23.000 I just got him on Spotify because I've seen clips and I'm like, Dane Cook put something up that Gavin is re-releasing an album.

00:05:30.000 Yes.

00:05:31.000 So I'm like, I want to hear him really do stand-up because I've really never watched him. 0.91

00:05:33.000 He's so fucking funny. 0.86

00:05:34.000 He's really good. 0.98

00:05:35.000 Oh, he's great.

00:05:36.000 Yeah, but I never sat down and watched him do a set.

00:05:38.000 Back in the day, he was the king.

00:05:39.000 Like, when we were in Boston, you'd just sit back and you'd go, oh my gosh, I should quit.

00:05:43.000 I should quit doing comedy.

00:05:44.000 He was so good.

00:05:45.000 And he never sent a text in his life until he texted me to be on the show.

00:05:50.000 Really?

00:05:50.000 Yeah.

00:05:51.000 His first text was to you?

00:05:53.000 Yeah, he's like, it took me about an hour and a half. 0.97

00:05:55.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. 0.99

00:05:56.000 Yeah, he's so old school. 0.99

00:05:59.000 He just calls people.

00:06:01.000 And he had never sent a text.

00:06:03.000 Bob Kelly's like that though.

00:06:05.000 Really?

00:06:05.000 Some guys are phone guys.

00:06:06.000 Bob Kelly's a phone guy. 0.99

00:06:07.000 Like you'll text him and you just won't hear back and he likes to fucking talk on the phone. 1.00

00:06:12.000 I hate it. 0.99

00:06:13.000 Joey Diaz does that too.

00:06:15.000 He's a phone guy.

00:06:15.000 Yeah, but Joey has a logic to it.

00:06:17.000 He goes, I want to hear your voice.

00:06:19.000 He goes, I'm insecure. 0.99

00:06:20.000 I don't want to see no fucking text message. 0.99

00:06:22.000 He goes, I don't know what that is. 0.99

00:06:23.000 What are you saying?

00:06:24.000 I want to hear your voice.

00:06:26.000 I want to hear the love in your voice.

00:06:28.000 Okay, that makes sense.

00:06:30.000 It's also a great way to not have things recorded if you don't want them actually in print.

00:06:34.000 Yes.

00:06:35.000 Bobby just liked the phone.

00:06:37.000 I hate it.

00:06:38.000 It drives me nuts, too.

00:06:38.000 Really?

00:06:39.000 No, my phone's always on silent. 0.99

00:06:41.000 One too many times I was in a relationship, fucking three in the morning. 0.98

00:06:46.000 You're getting a vibration. 1.00

00:06:47.000 I'm like, fuck. 0.99

00:06:48.000 So my phone's been on silent for ten years. 1.00

00:06:50.000 Ten years.

00:06:51.000 Yeah, ten years of silence.

00:06:52.000 Ten years.

00:06:53.000 Hiding from that ring. 0.99

00:06:55.000 Ringers are gross. 1.00

00:06:56.000 When you hear someone in a fucking restaurant... 1.00

00:06:58.000 Get the fuck out of here with that thing. 1.00

00:07:04.000 But isn't it great watching somebody panic and go into their purse? 0.97

00:07:06.000 Yeah.

00:07:07.000 You ever watch somebody panic and reach for their phone?

00:07:09.000 That's a justified reaction. 0.98

00:07:10.000 When you're fucking panicking and going for your stuff, I kind of appreciate that. 0.98

00:07:15.000 Dude, I was just thinking before you sat down, we've known each other for so long, and now we're like these old men on the radio. 0.99

00:07:21.000 We've known each other since we were kids.

00:07:23.000 Like, when I first met you, we were both in our 20s, Early 20s.

00:07:29.000 Young comics.

00:07:30.000 Hanging around in New York.

00:07:32.000 And now we're old.

00:07:34.000 Yeah.

00:07:34.000 We are old.

00:07:35.000 We're old men.

00:07:36.000 We did a gig together.

00:07:37.000 And I remember it specifically.

00:07:40.000 I think you featured, actually.

00:07:42.000 I think I was the host of you with a feature.

00:07:43.000 And you were doing a bit about Tyson and Robin Givens.

00:07:45.000 And I want to say it was 1992. Up in the...

00:07:50.000 Mountains in Jersey for a guy named Pat Guarini.

00:07:53.000 I could be incorrect, but I think it was around...

00:07:56.000 Lake Apacon it might have been, 1992. But I'm pretty sure that was the year.

00:07:59.000 Could be.

00:08:00.000 Did a lot of gigs.

00:08:01.000 Yeah.

00:08:02.000 It's hard to remember.

00:08:03.000 And you were close with a guy named John Tobin, who I remember well.

00:08:05.000 Yeah.

00:08:06.000 Yeah, it's...

00:08:08.000 The passage of time is a strange thing, man.

00:08:11.000 It really is.

00:08:12.000 Because most of the time, it doesn't seem like it's anything significant.

00:08:17.000 It's just life.

00:08:18.000 You get up when the alarm goes off, you eat breakfast, you put your clothes on.

00:08:22.000 But then one day, you're hanging out with someone like you, that I only get to see you once a year, maybe twice a year.

00:08:28.000 And then I'm like, oh yeah, look, we're old.

00:08:32.000 The world keeps going.

00:08:34.000 Yeah.

00:08:35.000 You keep on aging.

00:08:37.000 But do you mind it? 1.00

00:08:38.000 I don't mind it because the more people you know that die, as you get older and they start dying, not just from unnatural causes, but natural causes, you're like, fuck, I guess. 0.97

00:08:47.000 Whenever people die now, as much as it's sad, I'm always like, okay, that's one more person I lasted longer than. 0.98

00:08:52.000 And it's not that I'm happy to see them go.

00:08:54.000 I know what you're saying.

00:08:56.000 Count your blessings.

00:08:57.000 Count your blessings, man.

00:08:58.000 I'm winding my life down.

00:08:59.000 Yeah, you gotta count your blessings.

00:09:00.000 It's one of those things where it's so easy to get complacent.

00:09:06.000 It's so easy to not appreciate things.

00:09:09.000 It's so easy.

00:09:10.000 Yeah, I look around my life sometimes, and you get depressed, and you look, and you're like, what am I complaining?

00:09:14.000 I have everything I wanted.

00:09:16.000 Like, if you told 18-year-old Jimmy Norton that he would be complaining about this, I would have spit on myself.

00:09:21.000 Well, it's like what we were talking about before the show, that there was these people on a show, and they weren't making as much as the lead guy who was this famous guy, and they were really pissed off at him and complaining, and then they eventually fucked the guy over, and the show got canceled.

00:09:33.000 Now they don't have anything.

00:09:34.000 Yeah.

00:09:34.000 You don't realize how good it is because everyone's comparing themselves to other folks.

00:09:39.000 They're comparing themselves to other people that they're around or other people that they're with.

00:09:43.000 I remember I was reading something about Iran Barkley.

00:09:46.000 Do you remember who he is?

00:09:47.000 I do, yeah. 1.00

00:09:48.000 Former middleweight boxing champion, bad motherfucker. 0.99

00:09:50.000 Iran Barkley went broke even though he made millions of dollars because he was hanging out with all these pro athletes. 0.99

00:09:57.000 Everybody's just outdoing everybody.

00:09:59.000 Everybody's getting a Lamborghini or a gold chain that's bigger than the other guy's gold chain or a bigger house or bigger this or bigger that.

00:10:05.000 And the next thing you know, you're broke.

00:10:06.000 You spent it all.

00:10:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:08.000 And you're like, fuck. 1.00

00:10:09.000 And it's just this, it's all relative. 1.00

00:10:12.000 Like, even though you've got things great, you don't have it as great as that guy over there. 0.95

00:10:16.000 So comparatively, you feel like a loser.

00:10:19.000 But you gotta know where you're at, too.

00:10:20.000 Getting fired from me, when we got kicked off Opie and Anthony in 2002, best thing that ever happened to me.

00:10:26.000 Because it showed me that it could all be taken away from you.

00:10:28.000 So long before this whole culture of just cancel culture and all this shit happened, I had had that moment of life is good and then you're out. 1.00

00:10:36.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:10:37.000 That was the Condoleezza Rice thing, right? 1.00

00:10:39.000 No, that was on XM. That's when we almost got fired from Satellite.

00:10:42.000 No, this was Sex for Sam on Terrestrial. 0.61

00:10:46.000 This is WNEW. Oh, that's when you guys get fired because you had the people and they had sex in a... 0.99

00:10:50.000 Anal sex in St. Pat's, yeah. 0.98

00:10:52.000 So that was two years off the air, but that showed me that they can take anything at any time. 0.98

00:10:57.000 So I've never thought I was irreplaceable.

00:10:59.000 I never think I got it forever. 0.94

00:11:01.000 Anything I have I know can be fucking yanked immediately. 0.84

00:11:04.000 Yeah, no, it definitely can. 0.99

00:11:06.000 That was a weird one to me, because the big thing was that these people had sex in a Catholic cathedral.

00:11:12.000 That was the big reason why they got fired, right? 0.63

00:11:15.000 Because they didn't ask these people to do it in there, did they?

00:11:18.000 Yeah, it was kind of a contest.

00:11:19.000 It was known. 0.99

00:11:20.000 Like, you would get what they call a two-point conversion if you had anal. 0.97

00:11:23.000 Like, there was all these weird things. 0.98

00:11:25.000 And it was a bad move to go into St. Pat's.

00:11:27.000 They went into St. Pat's, and there was an arrest.

00:11:30.000 And because there was an arrest...

00:11:31.000 It became real, and it was so avoidable on so many levels.

00:11:35.000 Like so many things. 0.98

00:11:36.000 Yeah, you look back, you're like, why did we just shut the fuck up and it would have stopped? 0.98

00:11:40.000 Yeah. 0.88

00:11:41.000 You know, why did we push it?

00:11:42.000 But, you know, I'm glad it happened now in hindsight.

00:11:44.000 Well, you know, in a lot of ways, there's this thing that people do.

00:11:48.000 You know, we were talking about Ari before the podcast, where you do things you're not supposed to do, so people go, I can't believe you're doing that.

00:11:59.000 And then there's this, like, thrill to that.

00:12:01.000 There's a thrill to it and then what happens is you have to keep upping it.

00:12:05.000 You have to keep upping it.

00:12:07.000 And it's almost like you get a fear, like if I don't top last time, the people who like me are no longer going to like me and I'm going to lose this momentum I've picked up.

00:12:16.000 You become afraid that the people who like you are going to go, you're a fraud.

00:12:20.000 You're not doing what we want you to do.

00:12:22.000 So then you keep topping yourself and keep topping yourself.

00:12:24.000 It's like the kid who eats bugs.

00:12:25.000 You know what I mean?

00:12:26.000 Then he's eating a roach.

00:12:27.000 And the next thing you know, he's doing this because he's afraid of not topping himself and then all of a sudden being ignored.

00:12:34.000 Right.

00:12:34.000 Like Pat.

00:12:35.000 Like the intern Pat?

00:12:37.000 Oh, yes.

00:12:37.000 Pat Duffy.

00:12:38.000 Pat Duffy.

00:12:38.000 Best.

00:12:39.000 He ate cat shit. 1.00

00:12:41.000 He drank people's vomit. 1.00

00:12:43.000 He was literally an indestructible fucking man. 1.00

00:12:46.000 If you have to build a guy in the military, he's the type of mentality you want. 0.99

00:12:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:51.000 For sure. 0.98

00:12:52.000 You want to get him when he's 18 and just turn him into a full sicko. 0.99

00:12:55.000 Savage. 0.98

00:12:55.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:12:55.000 What is he doing these days? 0.98

00:12:57.000 I don't know.

00:12:57.000 I haven't talked to him.

00:12:58.000 I don't know.

00:12:59.000 What about Pat from Wunaki?

00:13:00.000 You know, I thought of him recently.

00:13:01.000 He's on Twitter.

00:13:02.000 I don't know exactly what he's doing.

00:13:04.000 I would love to have him.

00:13:04.000 Yeah, Pat Philbin, his name is.

00:13:05.000 I would love to have him on to our radio show because I miss Pat from Wunaki a lot.

00:13:10.000 Dude, that day where he did the Baby Bird, the day where they had the eggnog drink contest, it was you and me and Burr and Ari and there was a couple other people in the studio as well.

00:13:21.000 That was one of my most fun times ever on the radio.

00:13:24.000 It was so ridiculous. 0.80

00:13:25.000 The whole floor. 0.98

00:13:26.000 You could never do that today.

00:13:27.000 Never.

00:13:27.000 Never in a million years.

00:13:28.000 We were in Opie and Anthony in the studio.

00:13:30.000 The floor was covered in plastic bags because Opie and Anthony had an eggnog eating contest and everyone would throw up.

00:13:39.000 You'd get to a certain level of eggnog where you just couldn't take it anymore.

00:13:42.000 And Pat had to throw up because he was diabetic.

00:13:44.000 Yeah.

00:13:45.000 So he shouldn't have been drinking that anyway.

00:13:47.000 No, he shouldn't have.

00:13:47.000 So he's drinking gallons and gallons of eggnog.

00:13:50.000 And when he threw it up, we said, like, he was ready to go, and I said, let's get Pat Duffy to lean his head.

00:13:57.000 Was that your suggestion?

00:13:58.000 Yes, I was doing Fear Factor back then.

00:14:00.000 My head was all full of sick things.

00:14:02.000 That was like...

00:14:03.000 What year was that?

00:14:04.000 2003?

00:14:05.000 I want to say 2007. Was it really?

00:14:07.000 Yeah, that was on K-Rock.

00:14:08.000 That was on a terrestrial studio.

00:14:10.000 Was it seven?

00:14:11.000 I'm thinking it was.

00:14:12.000 Yeah, it definitely was in three because we weren't on the radio then.

00:14:15.000 Oh, right, right, right. 0.97

00:14:17.000 So he leans his head over this garbage... 0.98

00:14:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.95

00:14:41.000 Literally didn't seem humanly possible that a person could have that much fluid in their body.

00:14:45.000 And then when he was ejecting it, it was like a cartoon.

00:14:47.000 He's doing it in Pat's face.

00:14:49.000 2006. 2006. It was 2006. Wow.

00:14:52.000 And I can't believe it.

00:14:53.000 I used to forget that Burr was there that day.

00:14:56.000 Yeah, we were all there, man.

00:14:57.000 It's one of those things you're glad you're a part of, right?

00:14:59.000 Like, I'm happy I was there for that.

00:15:01.000 I was happy I got to see that.

00:15:02.000 It was so fun.

00:15:03.000 That show, when it was in its prime, when it was in its peak, was so fun.

00:15:08.000 Yeah.

00:15:08.000 And it was a hang.

00:15:10.000 And it really influenced, in a lot of ways, the way I do podcasts.

00:15:13.000 Because it's...

00:15:14.000 There's no structure.

00:15:16.000 It's just hanging out with funny people.

00:15:17.000 Just talking about stuff.

00:15:18.000 No structure. 0.98

00:15:19.000 Yeah, just bullshitting. 0.97

00:15:20.000 Wherever it goes, it goes. 0.98

00:15:21.000 I mean, it'll always go somewhere.

00:15:23.000 I mean, you get people having a conversation.

00:15:25.000 It's always going to flow somewhere.

00:15:26.000 Exactly.

00:15:27.000 It doesn't have to be controlled and regimented.

00:15:29.000 And what do you want to talk?

00:15:29.000 Is there anything worse when you go to a radio show?

00:15:31.000 Like, what do you want to...

00:15:33.000 Dude, I've done radio shows where they tell you they want you to bring up certain subjects where you have jokes.

00:15:38.000 Not even that long ago, man, less than 10 years ago, I did one of those national radio shows in the Midwest, and they asked me to do that.

00:15:47.000 And I was like, what?

00:15:48.000 And the producer got upset.

00:15:50.000 And I go, I don't do that.

00:15:51.000 I go, I'm not going to do that.

00:15:52.000 And they're like, we need subjects.

00:15:54.000 The guy was pissy with me.

00:15:56.000 I'm like, I don't know.

00:15:57.000 It's hard to do because you feel embarrassed.

00:15:59.000 You feel dirty when someone's doing your bit and you know you're doing it.

00:16:04.000 They're fake laughing.

00:16:06.000 Who's enjoying this?

00:16:08.000 That's what radio used to be, though.

00:16:10.000 What radio used to be.

00:16:11.000 You'd go on WAAF in Boston and you would talk to the guys and you would kind of work in your bits.

00:16:19.000 Everybody did it.

00:16:20.000 Everybody did their bits.

00:16:21.000 Yeah, I guess it was a part of it, but I was never good at it.

00:16:23.000 Well, because you're authentic.

00:16:25.000 But Opie and Anthony was the first to meet.

00:16:28.000 Howard's show was much more controlled.

00:16:31.000 Howard's behind the mixer.

00:16:33.000 He's kind of controlling everything.

00:16:34.000 There was a certain amount of time that he would talk to you, and then other people would come in.

00:16:38.000 He had like a...

00:16:40.000 More of a structure.

00:16:42.000 Whereas ONA, you would go in there and Anthony would have a gun and fucking, you know, Opie's behind the mixer just sort of watching all this chaos go on, different comics come filtering in and, you know, remember the time Marion Barry walked in? 0.69

00:16:56.000 Yeah, he was going on Sway next door, and he was a little out of it and loopy, and we just hijacked him. 0.68

00:17:04.000 And he kind of walked in like he had no idea who we were.

00:17:07.000 It was really uncomfortable.

00:17:08.000 And I knew he was going to leave soon, so I immediately started asking him about crack.

00:17:11.000 You went right in until you knew it was in that pipe.

00:17:14.000 He was like, nobody knows what's in that pipe.

00:17:17.000 I go, nobody knows what's in that pipe.

00:17:18.000 I'm like, you knew what's in that pipe. 1.00

00:17:20.000 The fuck are you talking about, man? 1.00

00:17:21.000 And the publicist was like, come on, let's go. 1.00

00:17:23.000 They wanted to get him out of there.

00:17:24.000 They wanted to get him out of there immediately.

00:17:26.000 Yeah, that was fun.

00:17:26.000 Marion Barry, he died not too long after that, I don't think, right?

00:17:29.000 It wasn't that long after that, yeah.

00:17:31.000 It was funny, man.

00:17:32.000 I remember there was an interview they did where there was a news station.

00:17:36.000 They were talking to people about his arrest and all this stuff.

00:17:39.000 And they interviewed this guy.

00:17:41.000 He goes, oh, come on, man.

00:17:42.000 Everybody smokes a little crack every now and then.

00:17:44.000 I'm like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then.

00:17:47.000 That's a great quote from a mayor.

00:17:49.000 Yeah.

00:17:49.000 That's a great mayor's quote.

00:17:51.000 It wasn't him, though.

00:17:51.000 He wasn't saying it.

00:17:52.000 Someone else was saying it in defense of him.

00:17:55.000 If it was him saying that, that would be hilarious.

00:17:58.000 Yeah, I'm like, how did I miss that?

00:17:59.000 No, it was another guy that was on the street who was like, everybody smokes a little crack every now and then.

00:18:03.000 Did he get reelected after that, too?

00:18:04.000 Yes, he did.

00:18:05.000 I think he went to jail, came out, and got reelected.

00:18:08.000 Yeah.

00:18:08.000 Yes.

00:18:08.000 People at DC, very forgiving.

00:18:10.000 LOL. Yeah.

00:18:11.000 Very forgiving. 1.00

00:18:12.000 Strange fucking place, man. 1.00

00:18:14.000 Strange fucking place. 1.00

00:18:14.000 So how do you handle this, man? 1.00

00:18:15.000 This whole culture we're in, it's not scary.

00:18:19.000 It's more irritating.

00:18:20.000 Like, anything you say...

00:18:23.000 People who are looking to...

00:18:24.000 I don't mean if you say something horrible, they're going to react like you said something horrible.

00:18:27.000 Anything you say, people are looking for a reason.

00:18:30.000 Like, they're looking for something because the high that they get is by going after you.

00:18:34.000 And they don't even know that they're high doing it.

00:18:36.000 Did you see that lady that was talking about the Kobe Bryant death and she accidentally said the N-word?

00:18:42.000 Oh, she said Nakers. 0.66

00:18:43.000 Yeah.

00:18:44.000 Nakers.

00:18:44.000 Yeah, she was trying to...

00:18:46.000 She thought she was either saying the Knicks or the Lakers.

00:18:49.000 Yeah.

00:18:50.000 And she said the Nakers... 0.95

00:18:51.000 Yeah, I think she said the N-word, but she said she said Nakers, but I think she said the N-word.

00:18:57.000 I think it just, it's almost like it's so taboo that it's in people's heads. 0.99

00:19:02.000 Like on Martin Luther King's birthday, there's always an anchor that gets fired because he can't remember that Martin Luther King Jr. are all separate words and you should not conflate the last two or you're going to get fucking fired. 0.81

00:19:15.000 King and Jr., they put it together too fast and it comes out wrong. 0.73

00:19:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:19:19.000 That's what happens.

00:19:19.000 That happens all the time.

00:19:21.000 All the time. 1.00

00:19:21.000 The word coon is such a weird one, too, because who the fuck calls black people coons? 1.00

00:19:26.000 That's a really old school, weird one. 1.00

00:19:28.000 Old, southern, weird, racist one.

00:19:31.000 That's a strange one.

00:19:32.000 It was a known insult when I was a kid, but I don't even know if that was one I even heard when I was a kid.

00:19:36.000 I definitely have heard it.

00:19:37.000 I definitely heard it in pool halls.

00:19:39.000 I definitely heard it, but it was from old dudes. 1.00

00:19:41.000 It was like an old dude thing, like guys in their fucking 60s and shit. 0.99

00:19:45.000 But I had a friend who has severe anxiety issues. 0.99

00:19:51.000 He has panic attacks, and he eventually had to quit doing stand-up.

00:19:55.000 So he was doing the warm-up for the Bill Cosby show, okay?

00:20:03.000 He is doing the thing and talking to people in the crowd, and Bill Cosby's obviously super squeaky clean show, and the warm-up has to be squeaky clean, and while he's walking around the crowd, he has this unstoppable thought in his head, don't say the N-word.

00:20:19.000 Don't say it.

00:20:20.000 Don't say it.

00:20:21.000 Don't say it.

00:20:22.000 Just don't say that word.

00:20:23.000 And he said, I'm sweating.

00:20:25.000 He goes, sweat is pouring down the sides of my face.

00:20:27.000 My hands are shaking and I'm so terrified.

00:20:30.000 All I could think of is don't say that word.

00:20:32.000 Don't say that.

00:20:33.000 He goes, I never say that word.

00:20:34.000 I never say that word.

00:20:35.000 But his brain, because he has anxiety issues and he's got... 0.72

00:20:40.000 OCD and a bunch of different, like, he's got mental issues.

00:20:43.000 He was paralyzed and feeling.

00:20:45.000 He had a full-blown panic attack.

00:20:47.000 So here he is doing a warm-up.

00:20:49.000 He can't even talk.

00:20:51.000 And he's got a microphone.

00:20:52.000 And he's standing around these people.

00:20:53.000 And then he's becoming ruthlessly conscious of the fact that all these people are watching him. 1.00

00:20:58.000 And he's like, holy fuck. 1.00

00:21:00.000 I can't do this. 1.00

00:21:01.000 And he's like, his heart is beaten out of his chest.

00:21:03.000 And he's like, the only victory was that I didn't say the word.

00:21:06.000 The only victory.

00:21:07.000 That was what I was really hoping this story would end, too.

00:21:09.000 I was hoping that was in the introduction and he lost everything.

00:21:13.000 But yeah, sometimes if you focus on something that you can't say, and I think these anchors get caught up.

00:21:19.000 The woman when Kobe died, I also think that she was just panicking.

00:21:22.000 But if you're panicking and that word drops out, like Lakers does this.

00:21:26.000 Can we hear it?

00:21:27.000 I don't want to give any more heat on that.

00:21:31.000 I don't want to make that lady feel bad. 1.00

00:21:32.000 It's okay.

00:21:32.000 We don't have to hear it.

00:21:35.000 Poor lady. 1.00

00:21:36.000 I don't think she meant it.

00:21:37.000 No.

00:21:38.000 No anchor means to say that.

00:21:41.000 Unless.

00:21:41.000 Live.

00:21:42.000 I mean, imagine she leaves that and then she fucking dons a hood and she's like, this is me all along, you fucks. 1.00

00:21:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:47.000 I had this guy in here the other day, Daryl Davis, who's this guy right here.

00:21:52.000 I saw his picture, yeah.

00:21:53.000 Yeah, this is his music.

00:21:55.000 He's converted 200 different KKK and Nazis to leave the organization.

00:22:03.000 200. By just hanging out with them, being friends with them.

00:22:06.000 Just getting to know them.

00:22:07.000 And a lot of people were like, I never really sat down and had a drink with a black guy before.

00:22:11.000 He's like, how is that possible?

00:22:13.000 How is that possible?

00:22:15.000 And he's a musician by trade.

00:22:17.000 I mean, that's what he is, a really good musician.

00:22:19.000 And just by doing that, just by getting to know these people, they just were afraid.

00:22:26.000 They didn't know any people.

00:22:28.000 And he's super articulate as well.

00:22:31.000 So talking to him, you realize, oh, this guy's really smart. 0.99

00:22:34.000 And if you talk to him time after time after time, hours after hours after, you realize, this guy's fucking smarter than me. 0.99

00:22:40.000 So when you're doing that, you're realizing, oh, There's no way black people can be inferior. 1.00

00:22:45.000 This is nonsense. 0.98

00:22:45.000 This guy's a black guy right in front of me right now, and he's talking, using words that I barely understand. 0.98

00:22:50.000 That's how the guy in the Klan would say.

00:22:51.000 That's how the guy in the Klan felt.

00:22:53.000 And after a while, he asked him to come to his house, and he said, I'm quitting.

00:22:56.000 I'm quitting the Klan.

00:22:57.000 He gave him his robe.

00:22:58.000 Really?

00:22:59.000 Yeah, so he collects robes now.

00:23:00.000 He came in, he brought like Grand Wizard robes and Grand Dragon robes.

00:23:03.000 He had a Nazi outfit.

00:23:04.000 He had Nazi flags the guys have given him.

00:23:07.000 Yeah.

00:23:08.000 Do you know when I was a teenager, I was drinking, and I remember I was so anti-Klan. 0.96

00:23:13.000 I had read some book on the Ku Klux Klan, and it was the preacher for the Klan.

00:23:17.000 His name was in the book.

00:23:18.000 So I called the information.

00:23:22.000 I called the FBI, and I tried to stop a Klan rally, but I called this guy at home, this Klan preacher.

00:23:29.000 And I started, you know, That's wrong! 0.99

00:23:31.000 You're a racist! 0.97

00:23:32.000 You know, I was 14. And he told me, I left the Klan. 1.00

00:23:35.000 I'm not in the Klan anymore.

00:23:36.000 And he actually talked to me for a few minutes.

00:23:38.000 Wow. 0.93

00:23:38.000 Yeah, but I was before you could, you know, I was fucking just 14 and drunk and trying to make a difference. 0.93

00:23:42.000 How cool is that, though, that he talked to you?

00:23:44.000 He did talk to me, yeah.

00:23:45.000 And I'll never forget it.

00:23:47.000 My father, I think, knew I was drinking afterwards because he heard some of the conversation.

00:23:51.000 But I think it started with me calling the FBI. You called the FBI a few times back then.

00:23:57.000 You called the FBI? That's what I would do when I drank.

00:23:58.000 Yeah, I was a fucking crazy person. 1.00

00:24:00.000 I called the FBI. I remember when I met you, like, fuck, we were probably early 20s, right? 1.00

00:24:05.000 Yep. 0.99

00:24:06.000 And I was like, why'd you quit drinking?

00:24:08.000 And you're like, why'd you quit doing drugs?

00:24:10.000 And you're like, I had to.

00:24:12.000 Yeah.

00:24:12.000 I called a bomb threat into my high school.

00:24:13.000 I remember I cleared the high school.

00:24:15.000 I did that when I was...

00:24:16.000 I want to say I was 17 or 18 and we used to get drunk in my friend's house and there was some number that you could call for help from nuns. 0.96

00:24:26.000 So I would have my friends sitting around and I would always call up and pretend that I would make up these horrible incest stories and terrible sexual things that were happening to me and my fucking friends would be laughing and the nuns would be trying to counsel me on the phone. 0.97

00:24:38.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

00:24:38.000 And then I called a bomb threat... 0.99

00:24:40.000 I did it a couple of times and it didn't work.

00:24:42.000 And the third time I did it, the final time I did it, they actually had people leave the school and go outside while they searched the school.

00:24:50.000 Drunk bomb threats. 0.98

00:24:51.000 Didn't fucking T.J. Miller do that recently? 0.99

00:24:54.000 It was something with him on a train, but it wasn't a threat. 0.99

00:24:57.000 I think he had something with a woman.

00:24:59.000 But didn't he call a bomb threat in?

00:25:00.000 I don't know if it was a threat or if he thought she really had one.

00:25:02.000 I never got the full story.

00:25:04.000 He thought she really had one?

00:25:05.000 I bet I don't know.

00:25:06.000 I remember reading it and I don't remember what the conclusion was. 0.97

00:25:09.000 If you're really fucked up and you think somebody might have a bomb, like paranoia, like full-blown paranoia. 0.89

00:25:15.000 I remember Jim Brewer, of course, who's a legendary pothead, and one time he quit, and he quit for quite a while. 0.98

00:25:22.000 And I said, well, why?

00:25:23.000 Why'd you quit?

00:25:23.000 He goes, dude, I started getting really paranoid.

00:25:26.000 Yeah.

00:25:42.000 And you start changing it a little bit with a little bit of booze, a little bit of booze, a little bit of anxiety, a little bit of depression, a little bit of bad things, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

00:25:50.000 I'll take a little Xanax, take the edge off.

00:25:52.000 Then I'll take a Valium so I can go to sleep.

00:25:53.000 Then I'll take an Ambien if the Valium doesn't work.

00:25:56.000 And you keep going and going and going and going.

00:25:58.000 You know how there's certain things you can do that can give you arthritis, right?

00:26:02.000 There's certain things that corrode your joints.

00:26:04.000 There's certain things you can do that make you tired.

00:26:06.000 The more chemicals you insert into your body, the more things you do, the more you shift.

00:26:12.000 Yeah.

00:26:42.000 I don't have control anymore.

00:26:43.000 Is that how you felt when you were a kid?

00:26:45.000 Yeah, from a very young age.

00:26:47.000 It was weird, but I was very addicted.

00:26:48.000 It was sexual addiction first.

00:26:50.000 That was the first one.

00:26:51.000 Sexual addiction was first?

00:26:52.000 Yeah.

00:26:52.000 But you were drinking when you were 13, you said.

00:26:55.000 Yeah, but I mean, I was a child.

00:26:56.000 I was sexually active as a kid.

00:26:59.000 I've 10 sexual partners before fourth grade.

00:27:02.000 What?

00:27:03.000 I've never told you that?

00:27:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:04.000 How was that possible?

00:27:06.000 I was blowing all my friends. 1.00

00:27:07.000 I was a fucking... 1.00

00:27:08.000 I couldn't stop. 0.99

00:27:10.000 How did that get started?

00:27:12.000 You know, I don't remember the first one, but I remember there's a picture...

00:27:17.000 I can date it because there's a picture of me when I was a kid when I split my head open.

00:27:23.000 And I remember I split my head open running from the boy who was a year older than me.

00:27:29.000 And I used to blow him, but I was scared of him.

00:27:32.000 He terrorized me, but I would... 1.00

00:27:35.000 I remember him trying to fuck me once too, but I couldn't do it. 0.99

00:27:38.000 I vaguely remember I was in the hallway and my pants were down. 1.00

00:27:41.000 And his fucking dick always smelled like fucking mothballs. 1.00

00:27:45.000 Dude, he wore fucking Budweiser bathing trunks. 1.00

00:27:49.000 They had Budweiser on them, and he wore Budweiser bathing trunks. 0.99

00:27:53.000 So do you have, like, mothballs in his drawer, his dresser drawer?

00:27:55.000 He must have, but that smell is a visceral memory I have of that.

00:28:00.000 He's the kid that pissed in my mouth. 1.00

00:28:02.000 I fucking... 1.00

00:28:03.000 I was in a public pool in Edison, New Jersey. 0.99

00:28:07.000 This is how young I was.

00:28:07.000 I didn't know that.

00:28:08.000 So I went and I was blowing him underwater. 0.51

00:28:10.000 And then he goes, I popped up because he pissed in my mouth.

00:28:14.000 So I popped up.

00:28:15.000 I'm like, don't do that anymore.

00:28:16.000 And he went, all right.

00:28:17.000 I put my foot down and then went back and he did it again.

00:28:20.000 So I stopped blowing him at that moment.

00:28:22.000 That's hilarious.

00:28:22.000 He pissed in my mouth twice in the pool.

00:28:24.000 Dude, that is hilarious.

00:28:25.000 So you were blowing him in the pool? 0.99

00:28:26.000 Yeah, I didn't think people could see me.

00:28:27.000 Underwater?

00:28:28.000 I was so young.

00:28:28.000 If I can't see them, they can't see me.

00:28:30.000 Ah!

00:28:32.000 The photo I have with the split on my head is 1973. So I was five.

00:28:36.000 So I know at that age, I was already involved.

00:28:39.000 So I have an absolute photo that dates exactly...

00:28:43.000 So you were blowing kids when you were five?

00:28:45.000 Yeah.

00:28:45.000 So what do you think started that off?

00:28:47.000 Don't know.

00:28:48.000 It must have been, you know, just one kid.

00:28:51.000 One kid opened the door. 0.99

00:28:52.000 The rest of us fucking ran through it. 0.99

00:28:53.000 I mean, I don't know. 0.99

00:28:54.000 I just don't know what started it.

00:28:56.000 I have very vague...

00:28:58.000 Fleeting memories.

00:28:59.000 So, at five years old, you were all sexually active?

00:29:02.000 You and your buddies?

00:29:03.000 Yeah, and then he got a little older, six, seven, eight.

00:29:05.000 Like, you know, it was...

00:29:06.000 I don't remember who was first, who was second.

00:29:10.000 I remember when my one friend got erections and I didn't get them.

00:29:13.000 Like, I didn't know what they were.

00:29:14.000 When he was five, he was getting erections.

00:29:15.000 He might have been six or seven.

00:29:18.000 He might have been six or seven.

00:29:19.000 Giant rods at six years old.

00:29:21.000 But I remember not knowing. 0.96

00:29:22.000 We used to count sucks. 0.95

00:29:24.000 That's what it would do. 0.97

00:29:25.000 Like, alright, I'll give you ten and you give me ten. 0.99

00:29:27.000 So you would have one, two, three, and you would fucking count sucks. 0.99

00:29:31.000 Did you develop technique? 1.00

00:29:32.000 Did you figure out, like, what's the best way to suck a dick? 1.00

00:29:34.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:29:35.000 At that age, I don't think so because I think it was all about getting you to do me after.

00:29:39.000 Oh, right, right, right.

00:29:39.000 I think that was kind of the goal.

00:29:41.000 Right, of course.

00:29:42.000 But there was a lot of it, man.

00:29:43.000 And again, I can date it because I moved Halloween of fourth grade to North Brunswick.

00:29:47.000 So any experience that happened in this place, I know it happened before then.

00:29:52.000 Yeah.

00:29:52.000 Wow, that's crazy.

00:29:54.000 So do you think that this kid...

00:29:56.000 Did you know if this kid was molested?

00:29:59.000 Don't know.

00:30:00.000 I mean, there had to be... 0.97

00:30:00.000 Somebody had to be getting fucked because there's no way all of us were that... 0.97

00:30:06.000 Sexually active for no reason. 0.99

00:30:07.000 I just don't remember.

00:30:08.000 I have too many memories, like being in a basement and then not exactly remembering.

00:30:14.000 I have weird memories possibly with adults.

00:30:17.000 It's kind of like watching, it fades in and out.

00:30:20.000 And I wish my memory was better, but it's just not.

00:30:22.000 No one's really is.

00:30:24.000 You know, that's the weird thing about memories when it comes to being, you know, a young person.

00:30:28.000 No one's memories are very good.

00:30:30.000 You have, like, flashes.

00:30:31.000 I have, like, some things that I definitely remember, because they're, like, facts.

00:30:36.000 Like, when I was seven, we drove across the country.

00:30:38.000 You know, I remember those.

00:30:39.000 Yeah.

00:30:39.000 I remember we got in an accident on Lombard Street in San Francisco.

00:30:42.000 You know, that's, like, the crookedest street in the world.

00:30:44.000 Right.

00:30:45.000 I remember that, because I remember someone tried to pass us, and I remember we scratched the car.

00:30:48.000 I remember that.

00:30:49.000 But, like, there's little tiny things.

00:30:51.000 Like, sometimes I'll talk to my sister or I'll talk to my mom.

00:30:54.000 She's like, do you remember that thing?

00:30:55.000 And then all of a sudden it's like I open up a folder.

00:30:57.000 Like, oh, yeah.

00:30:58.000 I remember that guy.

00:30:59.000 Whatever happened to him?

00:31:00.000 You know, like, that guy didn't exist in my brain until a couple seconds ago.

00:31:04.000 And then I'm like, oh, look at this old folder.

00:31:05.000 Let's open up my old memory of that fella.

00:31:08.000 Yeah.

00:31:08.000 Sometimes those are scary, though.

00:31:10.000 I many times drive back to that area, because it's in Edison, and I'll drive back when I'm doing the Stress Factory or a gig, and I'll drive through that neighborhood, and I'll be like, what the fuck happened here?

00:31:21.000 Something happened here, and it might not just be one moment, but something happened here that kind of shifted me, because I don't know exactly what it is. 0.88

00:31:30.000 And Dr. Drew told me I was molested.

00:31:31.000 Maybe he's right, I don't know.

00:31:33.000 Well, at the very least, you were sexually involved with someone else who might have been molested.

00:31:38.000 Yeah, I mean, the odds are it had to be one of them.

00:31:41.000 That was another thing that came up in this article that I was saying that the origins of homosexuality, that's one of the things they were saying that I was homophobic because the origins of homosexuality is them, people being molested when they're younger.

00:31:51.000 That's not what I said.

00:31:52.000 And let me explain that to people if you're gay, if you read that, you feel bad.

00:31:57.000 That can happen to people who would not be inclined towards homosexuality if they're molested when they're younger. 0.54

00:32:04.000 Dr. Chris Ryan, the guy who wrote Sex at Dawn, was explaining it to me, is that there's a...

00:32:09.000 What is the term?

00:32:13.000 Not necessarily patterning, imprinting.

00:32:15.000 When you're sexually active, like if someone's sexual with you when you're young, and that person happens to be a man, you can imprint, and you can develop sexual feelings in response to that.

00:32:27.000 You get your brain...

00:32:29.000 Triggers sexual feelings towards men where you might not be inclined so like even if you're not actually Homosexual you're still turned on by men in a certain way because you were molested It's one of the reasons why they say but they don't really know why people who get molested wind up molesting people but it's really common It's like you know somebody described it best like it's almost like a vampire bites you and this thing like you're passing it on to the next person this this creepy thing But that,

00:33:00.000 you know, this is another thing where people took out of context, saying that, you know, I'm homophobic.

00:33:05.000 Well, for me, it was all kids in my age group that I remember.

00:33:07.000 I have vague adult memories, but not anything concrete that I can say was sexually.

00:33:12.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:33:12.000 Like, it just kind of, it's like a smoke that comes by and it leaves.

00:33:16.000 And that's kind of how those memories are.

00:33:17.000 But with the kids, they were all kids in my age within a year or two of each other.

00:33:22.000 So it wasn't like...

00:33:23.000 I don't like being a victim, so I feel like...

00:33:25.000 You know, I volunteered, man.

00:33:26.000 I showed up.

00:33:27.000 There was a lot of times I wanted to play the game.

00:33:29.000 Well, you were five, you know?

00:33:31.000 I mean, I have so few memories when I was five.

00:33:34.000 I mean, I bet you probably don't know why you were doing or what happened before that that started it and caused it.

00:33:41.000 I bet the person who you were doing it with...

00:33:43.000 You know, when people get molested when they're really young, one of the big issues is they block it out. 0.99

00:33:47.000 They don't remember a goddamn thing. 0.99

00:33:49.000 Their brain protects them from all the darkness. 1.00

00:33:53.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:33:53.000 And I've heard that enough, so I'm almost like I always try to find something to explain.

00:33:58.000 But maybe it wasn't that bad.

00:33:59.000 Maybe it was just me and my friends, and then it just kind of developed into something that was fun, and it felt good.

00:34:04.000 It could, yeah.

00:34:06.000 Again, I can't say there was any ominous force behind it.

00:34:10.000 I just don't remember.

00:34:11.000 But it's weird because it's like...

00:34:13.000 Most kids don't blow their friends.

00:34:15.000 Yeah, I know.

00:34:16.000 By the way, that's a great name for an album.

00:34:19.000 Most kids don't blow their friends, folks.

00:34:21.000 That should be your next comedy album.

00:34:22.000 My new tour.

00:34:25.000 But it's, so something, we assume something happened.

00:34:28.000 But not necessary, right?

00:34:30.000 Because the first kid that blew his friends, I mean, there had to be one guy somewhere in history that was like, I got an idea.

00:34:40.000 That looks like a valve. 1.00

00:34:43.000 Let me just put everyone's dick in my mouth and see how they feel about it. 1.00

00:34:48.000 Look, who's the first guy to pierce his septum, right? 1.00

00:34:51.000 Who's the first guy to tattoo his face? 0.99

00:34:53.000 Who's the first guy to buttfuck? 1.00

00:34:55.000 There has to be a first. 0.95

00:34:56.000 Well, that one might have come simultaneously two places at once.

00:34:59.000 You never know.

00:35:00.000 That might have been a couple of thoughts at the same time. 0.98

00:35:02.000 When do you think buttfucking started? 1.00

00:35:04.000 Chimps clearly buttfuck, right? 1.00

00:35:07.000 Bonobos, they must buttfuck each other. 1.00

00:35:09.000 Do you know what bonobos have? 0.99

00:35:11.000 They only have one taboo.

00:35:13.000 Which is? 0.86

00:35:13.000 The mom won't have sex with the son. 0.86

00:35:15.000 Isn't that interesting? 0.73

00:35:17.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:35:17.000 The whole culture is filled with sex. 0.97

00:35:22.000 Bonobo chimps. 0.99

00:35:23.000 All the males breed their daughters. 0.97

00:35:28.000 They exchange sex.

00:35:29.000 It's like a social token. 0.57

00:35:31.000 They resolve issues with sex. 0.99

00:35:34.000 They're one animal that clearly has massive amounts of recreational sex. 0.97

00:35:39.000 And they don't have any violence. 0.99

00:35:41.000 And the anal, I don't know where that comes from. 0.99

00:35:42.000 I wonder if that's just because of a position where somebody's on their stomach and the person behind them or the creature behind them is just like, your ass is easier. 1.00

00:35:51.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:35:52.000 I'm not a big fan of ass-fucking. 0.99

00:35:53.000 I like it a little bit, but I'm not crazy about it. 0.99

00:35:55.000 I used to like it more when I was younger.

00:35:57.000 Well, I mean, it seems messy.

00:36:00.000 It has been, yeah, at times.

00:36:02.000 At times, yeah.

00:36:03.000 There's been a few issues.

00:36:04.000 Could be painful.

00:36:05.000 It's not really supposed to go in there.

00:36:07.000 No, it's not.

00:36:08.000 But some people love it.

00:36:08.000 They love it.

00:36:09.000 I can do it once in a while. 1.00

00:36:11.000 I can't, you know, I can fuck it. 0.99

00:36:12.000 Yeah, not a lot. 1.00

00:36:13.000 Yeah.

00:36:14.000 Gets a little sloppy. 0.99

00:36:15.000 Well, it's, you know, if someone's trans and they don't want to transition and they don't want to have a vagina, they just want to keep their penis, then there's not a whole lot of options. 1.00

00:36:28.000 Oh yeah, you fuck them or they fuck you. 1.00

00:36:30.000 I mean, there's two. 1.00

00:36:31.000 You have two options.

00:36:32.000 So it's kind of, you know, you switch off.

00:36:34.000 Yeah.

00:36:36.000 It's...

00:36:37.000 It's interesting how just the amount of people that are just people talking about trans people has changed.

00:36:47.000 The numbers, you never heard that when I was a kid.

00:36:51.000 You never heard it.

00:36:52.000 When I was in high school, you never heard about it.

00:36:53.000 No one was trans.

00:36:54.000 No one thought they'd be trans in high school.

00:36:56.000 Now kids in high school are trans, like a lot of kids are trans.

00:36:59.000 You gotta wonder, what is that?

00:37:03.000 You know, I think people are gentler with it now.

00:37:05.000 That's one thing I think the younger generation is a little smarter with, is that they don't just judge you for it and people can kind of be comfortable being who they are.

00:37:12.000 Because the people, I mean, I'm sure trans people existed, but you just, you didn't know what to call it.

00:37:17.000 I didn't know what it was when I first saw it or encountered it.

00:37:19.000 I had no idea what it was.

00:37:21.000 Well, there's a movie, or a book rather, that I read about Custer.

00:37:24.000 And one of the parts of the book is about this guy Who went somewhere and came back and his wife had died.

00:37:33.000 And it turned out that his wife had been a man.

00:37:36.000 And everybody found out.

00:37:37.000 And so he had this thing.

00:37:40.000 He said, if anything happens to my wife, don't touch her. 0.72

00:37:44.000 Leave her alone. 1.00

00:37:45.000 Wait until I come back.

00:37:46.000 Well, they didn't do that.

00:37:47.000 They did an examination. 1.00

00:37:48.000 They found out that she had a dick. 1.00

00:37:51.000 And the guy wound up killing himself. 1.00

00:37:53.000 So this was something that was going on in the 1800s in the Wild West.

00:37:57.000 So this guy was in this Wild West town, and he had a trans wife, and they had to keep it quiet. 0.88

00:38:04.000 And when people found out about it, he wound up killing himself.

00:38:07.000 Yeah, there's so much shame.

00:38:08.000 It's funny, I just talked about this somewhere else too, but there's so much shame around it.

00:38:11.000 For the men, not just for the trans people, but for the men who like trans people. 1.00

00:38:14.000 There's fucking just shame. 0.99

00:38:15.000 Of course. 0.99

00:38:16.000 That's one of the things I really appreciate about you. 0.99

00:38:18.000 That you don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:38:20.000 You talk about everything that you like. 0.99

00:38:23.000 You talk about everything that you don't like about yourself.

00:38:25.000 And I think...

00:38:27.000 Because you do that on the radio, and because you do that freely and openly, I think you help a lot of people, man.

00:38:33.000 I really do.

00:38:34.000 Because I think you make it...

00:38:35.000 Because everybody loves you, right?

00:38:36.000 So you can come on this podcast, and you know you can say anything.

00:38:40.000 You know I love you.

00:38:41.000 And there's no way your sexual desires or interests is going to affect that in any way.

00:38:47.000 And so you could be free, and then we could all talk about stuff, and then there's probably some kid out there that's going...

00:38:54.000 I think I'm okay.

00:38:55.000 I think I'm okay.

00:38:56.000 I don't think I'm a freak.

00:38:57.000 Everybody loves Jim Norton.

00:38:59.000 It's okay.

00:39:00.000 I get emails from people.

00:39:02.000 A lot of guys have sent me messages too, going, hey man, thanks for talking about that.

00:39:06.000 Because it made me feel like it was alright to like that.

00:39:09.000 Or it made me feel more...

00:39:11.000 We're a culture that likes to scold each other because you have to be comfortable talking about it and realizing, hey, you might not say this word right.

00:39:20.000 You might not express it right.

00:39:22.000 We're doing the best we can to grapple with this whole thing, but it's about self-identification for men.

00:39:26.000 Am I homosexual?

00:39:27.000 That's why guys don't talk about it because we don't know who it makes us.

00:39:30.000 I think the scolding thing is a big point, what you just said, that people are worried that people are going to scold them.

00:39:35.000 And you know, one of the things that people do when they're worried about that is they scold other people first.

00:39:39.000 Yep.

00:39:39.000 You know, that's what bullies are.

00:39:41.000 When people go around beating people up, the reason why they go around beating people up is because they're afraid someone's going to do it to them.

00:39:46.000 They're insecure.

00:39:46.000 So they want to have power over those other people because they're terrified.

00:39:49.000 Someone's going to want to have power over them because they're weak.

00:39:51.000 And this is like that expression, hurt people hurt people.

00:39:54.000 Yeah.

00:39:56.000 When you see online bullying or people ganging up on people online, I guarantee you every one of those people that's doing that is terrified that it's going to come back to them.

00:40:05.000 And they're just throwing rocks and hoping no rocks come back their way.

00:40:09.000 Hoping the mob doesn't look at them.

00:40:10.000 Hoping and praying.

00:40:11.000 Hoping and praying.

00:40:12.000 Be a part of it.

00:40:13.000 If you're not a part of it, you could be the one that they're doing it to.

00:40:16.000 And I've chosen, particularly over the last few years, when I've recognized there's a difference between my reach and my influence and other people's.

00:40:24.000 I don't do that. 0.99

00:40:25.000 I don't retweet things that people say that are mean to me and say, why don't you eat shit, fuckface, or, you know, like, oh, what a cute person you are. 1.00

00:40:32.000 I could, easily. 0.99

00:40:34.000 And then millions and millions of people would see that, and then this person would go into a fucking panic attack and look at their Twitter and their feed and their phone's blowing up. 0.98

00:40:42.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:40:43.000 All the inboxes coming in.

00:40:45.000 Then they have to go see their counselor or their psychiatrist.

00:40:48.000 They get doxxed. 1.00

00:40:49.000 You're dead! 0.98

00:40:50.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:40:50.000 All that stuff is people... 0.98

00:40:52.000 And this is one of the things that I think is a real problem with social media in general and Twitter in particular.

00:40:59.000 That method of communication of just...

00:41:06.000 We're good to go.

00:41:25.000 And because of that, because you're not communicating with them one-on-one like a human being, you don't feel them.

00:41:31.000 You feel like you can say mean things.

00:41:33.000 You can go after them.

00:41:35.000 You almost want it.

00:41:36.000 You almost want people to go after them.

00:41:38.000 You almost want bad things to happen.

00:41:40.000 Just to see if what you're doing in this game is effective.

00:41:44.000 You know Jamie Kilstein, right?

00:41:45.000 I do, yeah.

00:41:46.000 Jamie talked real openly on the podcast about who he used to be and who he is.

00:41:52.000 He used to do that, go after people, and he's real open about how he was just completely 100% virtue signaling.

00:42:00.000 Yeah.

00:42:00.000 He just wanted people to like him.

00:42:02.000 He goes, I would be walking down the street and I just had to check my phone constantly because to see how do people respond to my text or my tweet.

00:42:09.000 How do people respond to attacking some senator? 1.00

00:42:12.000 You fucking bigot. 1.00

00:42:13.000 You homophobe. 1.00

00:42:14.000 And just checking his thing constantly.

00:42:15.000 And then afterwards, they came after him.

00:42:18.000 Because you can never be virtuous enough.

00:42:20.000 Never.

00:42:21.000 There's no one out there that's virtuous enough.

00:42:22.000 And if you're going to be cruel to people, get ready, because it's coming back at you.

00:42:26.000 It's coming back to you, and that's the beauty. 1.00

00:42:28.000 I never want to shame other people for that shit. 1.00

00:42:32.000 If you make a mistake or you say something fucking stupid, so be it. 1.00

00:42:36.000 Who am I to sit there and get mad at somebody? 1.00

00:42:39.000 Believe me, people come at me. 0.59

00:42:40.000 My preferences are not always fucking popular online either. 0.59

00:42:44.000 Of course. 0.99

00:42:44.000 I get called horrible shit. 0.99

00:42:46.000 It doesn't bother me. 0.99

00:42:48.000 I'm a 51-year-old man, too.

00:42:50.000 When you're 51 and you've come through the environment to stand up for 30 years, it's a little easier to have a thicker skin sometimes, too.

00:42:57.000 Whereas somebody who is 19 or 20, who has been raised in this psychotic, fake, polite culture, because it's not polite.

00:43:05.000 It's vicious.

00:43:06.000 It's fake polite.

00:43:08.000 And then when they start getting insulted, I don't know if they a lot of times know how to process that.

00:43:12.000 No, most people don't. 0.80

00:43:14.000 And, you know, you also understand what it is that's causing people to behave the way they're behaving, whereas a 19-year-old just thinks they're terrible and they need to die. 0.72

00:43:21.000 Yeah.

00:43:21.000 I mean, this is one of the things that's so awful about kids that get bullied online and wind up killing themselves.

00:43:26.000 Like, you didn't, you know, you had to just get through that.

00:43:28.000 If you got through that, you would understand what it is.

00:43:30.000 You'd understand that these people, these are just, anybody that's saying that to you, that's a damaged person. 1.00

00:43:36.000 They're all fucked up themselves. 0.98

00:43:38.000 And if you were around them personally, you and them, alone in a room, I guarantee you they wouldn't do that to you. 1.00

00:43:44.000 No, and most of them, you wouldn't even want to do it.

00:43:47.000 No.

00:43:48.000 You've talked to people, and most of them, you're like, oh, your hands feel the same as anybody else when I shake them.

00:43:52.000 I'm like, hey.

00:43:53.000 And you realize they're okay.

00:43:54.000 Right.

00:43:54.000 Yes.

00:43:55.000 The separation that social media gives us, along with the connection.

00:43:59.000 You get this connection where you can send a tweet out and maybe you can reach people and they go, oh, that's kind of cool.

00:44:04.000 And there is this weird connection.

00:44:06.000 But the disconnect, the emotional and the social disconnect, the lack of social cues between two people when you're just communicating online, that's not good for us.

00:44:16.000 We're not supposed to communicate like that.

00:44:18.000 Yeah, no.

00:44:18.000 It's bad.

00:44:19.000 It's impersonal.

00:44:20.000 It's kind of dangerous to a lot of people because it gives you this false sense of, you know, like you're not saying something that's going to hurt someone.

00:44:31.000 If you were in front of that person, you wouldn't want them to cry, but you want them to cry if you're not there. 0.99

00:44:38.000 Like you want to say the most vicious, mean shit when they're not there. 0.99

00:44:42.000 Sure. 1.00

00:44:43.000 And again, we mentioned Ari.

00:44:45.000 I know you love Ari.

00:44:46.000 I love Ari.

00:44:47.000 I've known him for many years. 1.00

00:44:49.000 When someone says dumb shit, and people do say dumb shit, and then there are times when people are justifiably mad at you. 1.00

00:44:56.000 Like, hey, look, you said something really stupid publicly, so people heard that in the middle of their grief, and they're like, hey, fuck you, pal. 1.00

00:45:03.000 People are angry. 1.00

00:45:04.000 But then it gets to a point where that day has passed and then there are people who just want to hurt you for it.

00:45:09.000 There's people who just want to punish you.

00:45:11.000 There's people who just want to see you suffer.

00:45:13.000 So how do you tell all the time who's just reacting to something you said?

00:45:18.000 Because as a comedian, I say public things.

00:45:20.000 People who are in the public with me have the right to say something.

00:45:24.000 Yes.

00:45:24.000 Yeah.

00:45:25.000 Well, I think what Ari did, you have to come up with a new word. 0.95

00:45:27.000 I don't think dumb is good enough. 0.95

00:45:30.000 We need a better word. 1.00

00:45:31.000 It was so stupid. 1.00

00:45:33.000 But it's also what you said earlier, that you've got to keep ramping it up. 1.00

00:45:36.000 Yeah.

00:45:36.000 You do think what we were talking about earlier.

00:45:38.000 Was that before the podcast?

00:45:39.000 I think it was.

00:45:39.000 Before Adnan, I think, yeah.

00:45:41.000 The thing is, when you do outrageous things, just to get people to like, oh, look at Jimmy's crazy.

00:45:48.000 Yeah.

00:45:49.000 You get caught in a trap, and you keep doing it more and more outrageous.

00:45:53.000 Yeah.

00:45:53.000 And with Ari, he's always done this thing where when people die, he would make the meanest comment.

00:46:01.000 Even about someone he loved, like Tom Petty. 0.99

00:46:03.000 He said some horrible shit about Tom Petty and Aretha Franklin and all these different people that died. 0.99

00:46:07.000 But he just did it for shock value. 0.99

00:46:10.000 Yeah.

00:46:11.000 And you gotta keep upping that every time.

00:46:14.000 Like, every time someone dies, people, like his sicko fans, would go straight to Ari and want Ari to comment on it.

00:46:23.000 Right.

00:46:23.000 And you know, It's a trap, man.

00:46:26.000 That's a terrible trap.

00:46:27.000 You see guys lean into those things, right?

00:46:30.000 It becomes a part of their persona.

00:46:32.000 It becomes a part of their identity.

00:46:34.000 Well, the trap is also when you, if there's something you don't want to say, or if you're like, nah, that's too fucked up to say, but if I don't say it, they're going to think that I'm selling out or I'm not the same performer.

00:46:45.000 You have to be willing to disappoint people that want to hear that, too, if you're going to survive in doing that stuff. 0.97

00:46:53.000 Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen with Ari, like how he's going to get through this, but in some ways, I never want to say it's a good thing that he did that, but he needed to know that there are consequences for just saying ridiculous shit that you're not supposed to say when people die. 0.97

00:47:14.000 The really fucked up thing about Ari is he's a really good guy, but In his persona sometimes, he's a heel. 0.94

00:47:23.000 And he does it on purpose. 0.98

00:47:24.000 And so you see that video, and he's smiling and laughing because Kobe Bryant's dead.

00:47:32.000 That's his heel persona.

00:47:34.000 And he thinks he's playing it up like, oh, this is going to be great.

00:47:37.000 People are going to be so mad.

00:47:38.000 But he had no idea.

00:47:39.000 He had no idea.

00:47:40.000 He misjudged the country's grief.

00:47:42.000 And obviously, I think he didn't know who else was on the helicopter.

00:47:46.000 I believed his explanation.

00:47:47.000 When I read his explanation, I believed it.

00:47:50.000 When I first saw it, I didn't know if he was serious or not.

00:47:52.000 I mean, I know what he does, but I just saw that clip.

00:47:54.000 I'm like, maybe he hated him.

00:47:55.000 He didn't.

00:47:57.000 I didn't know what he was doing, but then when I read his explanation, I believed him.

00:48:01.000 One part of me feels responsible.

00:48:03.000 This is why.

00:48:04.000 I convinced him that he could have an iPhone and that he could be okay.

00:48:08.000 Just put a timer on it.

00:48:09.000 I go, just put a timer on it.

00:48:11.000 I go, my daughter has a timer on her phone.

00:48:12.000 She can only use it for an hour a day. 0.92

00:48:14.000 Just put a timer on your phone.

00:48:16.000 And... 1.00

00:48:17.000 He should have stuck with a fucking flip phone, man. 1.00

00:48:19.000 He had a lady that was posting for him, a friend of his. 0.99

00:48:23.000 I think he gave her some money and he would send his tweets to her, stuff like that, and then she would post him for him.

00:48:29.000 I think that's how it went.

00:48:31.000 And that's way better.

00:48:33.000 Because then you've got a filter system where she could call him up. 1.00

00:48:36.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

00:48:37.000 And he'd be like, whoa, what did I say? 1.00

00:48:38.000 No, I'm not saying that, asshole. 1.00

00:48:41.000 He's like, alright, you're right, you're right. 1.00

00:48:42.000 What should I say?

00:48:43.000 And there was a humanity level. 0.98

00:48:46.000 Look, also, Ari is legitimately insane. 1.00

00:48:48.000 He's definitely got layers of insanity that he battles with. 1.00

00:48:52.000 He does, and it's funny, when I hosted Down and Dirty with Jim Norton, and there was a bunch of comedians on, Ari was one of the comedians I had on, and at the end of his set, he took his dick out! 1.00

00:49:02.000 He fucking pulled his pants down and took his dick out on HBO and they were furious and no one knew he was going to do it. 0.99

00:49:08.000 And I had to go out and shake his hand with his fucking pants around his ankles and he waved at the crowd. 1.00

00:49:12.000 And I don't even remember if that made the final cut. 0.99

00:49:15.000 But that's 2008. So you know somebody who has a reputation of just doing completely crazy shit. 0.99

00:49:21.000 It doesn't surprise me when the person does something that is crazy. 0.98

00:49:26.000 No, he's always gotten a certain amount of attention for doing...

00:49:30.000 He's the wild man, you know?

00:49:34.000 He doesn't have any responsibilities. 0.67

00:49:35.000 He lives like a vagabond.

00:49:37.000 He's made a ton of money, but he lives in a tiny apartment.

00:49:39.000 That was always the reputation.

00:49:41.000 Now I guess he lives with his girl.

00:49:42.000 But he never bought a car. 1.00

00:49:45.000 He had the shittiest, oldest, most fucked up car. 1.00

00:49:48.000 It was a manual transmission car because that was cheaper. 1.00

00:49:51.000 Ari is so frugal.

00:49:53.000 He would...

00:49:54.000 He would get mad at people like, why are you spending your money? 1.00

00:49:56.000 What the fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

00:49:58.000 Why are you buying a nice car? 1.00

00:50:00.000 That, to Ari, was the dumbest shit you could ever do. 1.00

00:50:03.000 He wanted to hoard all his money and then not have any responsibility. 1.00

00:50:08.000 He wanted to make sure that he could just disappear and go to China for three months and just hang out.

00:50:12.000 Not owe anybody anything.

00:50:13.000 Not owe anybody anything and be free.

00:50:16.000 Be, like, legitimately free. 0.98

00:50:18.000 So, like, anytime he felt like he was trapped in any sort of corporate structure or anything, he would fucking panic. 0.96

00:50:24.000 You know, like... 0.83

00:50:25.000 And that's one of the...

00:50:26.000 You know, it's...

00:50:28.000 It's one of the parts of his personality where he kind of leans into this sort of outsider role.

00:50:33.000 He doesn't want too much success.

00:50:36.000 He would get mad when people started taking pictures with him after the Sober October shows. 1.00

00:50:41.000 He's like, you fucking assholes made me too famous. 1.00

00:50:43.000 I can't even go anywhere. 1.00

00:50:45.000 I'm like, that is the most hilarious thing to say.

00:50:47.000 He was actually mad that he was going places and people wanted to take pictures with him.

00:50:51.000 No, but is it really that he didn't like it or is it like sometimes you get afraid of it because then you taste it and you're afraid it's going to go away?

00:50:57.000 That's one thing with success.

00:50:58.000 The more of it you get, the more scared you are that they're going to rob you of it.

00:51:00.000 I don't think so with Ari. 0.64

00:51:01.000 With Ari, I think he actually didn't like it.

00:51:04.000 Like he likes a certain amount of anonymity.

00:51:06.000 It's one of the reasons why he liked going to Asia.

00:51:08.000 That's why he went there on vacation, because no one knew who he was.

00:51:10.000 He got recognized like twice in four months the entire time he was there.

00:51:14.000 He loved it.

00:51:14.000 Yeah, he loved it.

00:51:15.000 He should go there right now.

00:51:17.000 Yeah, it might be a good time to lay low.

00:51:18.000 Might want to move there.

00:51:20.000 I just don't know how often, I mean, or how long it'll take before this, if it does at all, blows over.

00:51:28.000 He made that little sort of explanation on his Instagram, but it might almost be better if he did a video.

00:51:35.000 Yeah. 0.91

00:51:36.000 Yeah, you almost have to humanize yourself and discuss what happened because it's very hard to explain that to people because then they're like, yeah, there's dumb friends that are defending him.

00:51:45.000 No one's defending him. 0.59

00:51:46.000 No one's defending what he said.

00:51:47.000 No one's defending him.

00:51:48.000 You know, I would never defend what he said.

00:51:50.000 But what I would say is... 0.93

00:51:53.000 I'm not a moron. 0.97

00:51:54.000 I'm friends with him.

00:51:55.000 I love the guy.

00:51:57.000 It's not because he's a bad guy.

00:51:58.000 He's a great guy.

00:51:59.000 He's one of my smartest friends.

00:52:00.000 He's very interesting.

00:52:01.000 But he's also... 0.90

00:52:02.000 We're all crazy. 0.99

00:52:03.000 I don't know a single goddamn funny person that's not crazy. 1.00

00:52:06.000 But his crazy is a different kind of self-destructive crazy. 0.99

00:52:09.000 It's a different kind of crazy. 0.99

00:52:11.000 You have your crazy.

00:52:12.000 I got my crazy. 0.99

00:52:13.000 Robert Kelly's got his crazy.

00:52:14.000 Everyone's got their own crazy. 0.99

00:52:16.000 You know, there's something that compels you to want to be on stage in front of all those fucking people, talking every night, telling jokes, doing it on a podcast, doing it on the radio. 0.98

00:52:28.000 It's a real weird personality that causes people to do things like that. 0.94

00:52:33.000 And you're around people who are doing it, and who are doing it really well, and then you see them getting more and more successful, and then there's like, you know, you don't want to watch everybody pass you by either.

00:52:42.000 So you're like, oh, this thing works for me.

00:52:44.000 Let me just keep doing this thing.

00:52:46.000 And then you kind of get married to doing that thing that works for you. 0.79

00:52:49.000 Yeah, you lean into it.

00:52:50.000 You lean into what you love.

00:52:51.000 And I've seen that happen with people where all of a sudden they seem like white nationalists.

00:52:55.000 Like, what is going on?

00:52:56.000 And I realize, oh, that's where they're getting attention from.

00:52:59.000 They're getting attention from all these people that are like, you know, kind of...

00:53:02.000 They're kind of like...

00:53:04.000 Into white nationalism.

00:53:05.000 And so they start leaning into that.

00:53:07.000 I'm like, was that guy always like that?

00:53:08.000 Did he hide it from me?

00:53:10.000 Like, how did I not see that?

00:53:11.000 I just thought he was conservative.

00:53:13.000 And then I think what it is is, like, that's where their bread's being buttered.

00:53:16.000 That's where they're getting attention.

00:53:17.000 And so they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go tell them.

00:53:20.000 Go get them.

00:53:21.000 Yeah, white people have been the one, the founding people of this country, and white people this, white people this.

00:53:25.000 And you see them start to repeat those sentiments and you go, oh, okay, you're leaning into the attention.

00:53:31.000 That's what's going on here.

00:53:32.000 Because people, they're like you and they're showing you love.

00:53:34.000 So it's kind of hard to risk losing people who love you.

00:53:38.000 As a performer, we're terrified of it.

00:53:40.000 Well, especially when you start developing an audience and that audience is like, you know, those are the people that actually like you.

00:53:47.000 They actually love you.

00:53:48.000 They actually will come pay to see you.

00:53:51.000 And so you go, okay, what do I have to do to get them?

00:53:54.000 Here's a good example.

00:53:55.000 Like, My early act, when I first started doing stand-up, was terrible.

00:53:58.000 But I realized that there was three stages of stand-up in my career.

00:54:03.000 The first stage was I was doing anything to get a laugh.

00:54:07.000 And it was basically like a tool.

00:54:10.000 I had a ruler or a hammer or a nail, and I had no connection to that material.

00:54:16.000 I would tell joke jokes, like street jokes.

00:54:18.000 Someone told me a street joke, I would tell that on stage.

00:54:20.000 There was no art to it.

00:54:22.000 I was just terrified, and I wanted to get laughs.

00:54:25.000 Once I started doing pretty good and I would work professionally and I was getting some gigs and stuff, then I started doing stuff that I thought was funny.

00:54:34.000 And I remember being so happy with that because I'd be like, instead of being so scared of just being out there and, God, I gotta get a laugh, gotta get a laugh, gotta get a laugh.

00:54:43.000 What am I gonna do to get a laugh?

00:54:44.000 Instead of that, then I would get into, like, what do I think is funny?

00:54:49.000 Right. 0.93

00:54:50.000 And then I would go, here's what's fucked up to me. 0.86

00:54:52.000 Like, why is this? 0.91

00:54:53.000 And then people go, that's really smart.

00:54:55.000 I remember people saying, oh, that's good material.

00:54:57.000 Your new stuff?

00:54:58.000 I love your new stuff.

00:54:58.000 I'm like, oh, okay, finally I'm doing stuff that other people, that I like, like people that appreciate things that I appreciate would think are funny.

00:55:07.000 Then, once I got better at that, and I became like a real, like a headliner and established, then I started turning ideas into comedy.

00:55:16.000 Then I would turn ideas like...

00:55:18.000 I had some complicated ideas that I worked on for years to try to turn into bits.

00:55:22.000 And one of them was the de-evolution of man.

00:55:27.000 I put it on my 2005 Netflix special.

00:55:30.000 I don't even know what's on Netflix anymore.

00:55:32.000 It's just called Joe Rogan Live from 2005. And it was a bit that I worked on for years about how...

00:55:40.000 Dumb people outbred smart people, and that's what the pyramids are. 1.00

00:55:44.000 Like, we outfucked the smart people, and they just left us with a bunch of shit we don't understand. 1.00

00:55:48.000 And it was this long... 0.99

00:55:50.000 It took me forever to work that bit in.

00:55:52.000 And that bit, to me, was like, okay, now I understand how to turn a concept Into a bit.

00:56:00.000 Not just things that I think are funny, but things that I think are interesting.

00:56:04.000 And try to get those interesting ideas and put them into stand-up form.

00:56:08.000 And things you want to say.

00:56:09.000 The key for comedians, and where a lot of comics go wrong, is it's got to be funny, too.

00:56:15.000 We have to be funny while we're... 0.97

00:56:17.000 I never go on the stage and think, I'm going to teach the audience a fucking... 0.99

00:56:20.000 I'm not going to educate the fucking audience. 1.00

00:56:22.000 I hate that. 0.99

00:56:23.000 If they learn anything from it or if they like, it's got to be funny first, though. 0.99

00:56:26.000 It has to be fucking funny. 0.91

00:56:28.000 And I look at my old stuff, man. 0.98

00:56:30.000 Oh, it's bad.

00:56:32.000 Oh, me too. 1.00

00:56:33.000 Fucking. 0.99

00:56:33.000 I was a character. 0.99

00:56:35.000 Happy-go-lucky.

00:56:36.000 You know how we doing?

00:56:37.000 Like, oh, it's repulsive. 0.99

00:56:40.000 Dude, it's fucking repulsive. 0.99

00:56:42.000 Well, isn't it so nice you got through that and now you're something different? 0.99

00:56:45.000 Thank God I got through it.

00:56:46.000 Yeah, I just started standing there and talking and being more comfortable.

00:56:50.000 We used to do that thing on Opie and Anthony where you would dissect your old stand-up.

00:56:54.000 And I brought in a 1993 stand-up tape and Colin, Patrice, Voss, and I think Paul Mercurio is the other comedian...

00:57:05.000 Dissected it on Opie and Anthony.

00:57:08.000 It is really...

00:57:09.000 It was humiliating.

00:57:10.000 Oh, I've got some old videos, man.

00:57:12.000 I can't even pull them out.

00:57:13.000 They're embarrassing, right?

00:57:14.000 Oh, they're terrible.

00:57:15.000 Because they're revealing.

00:57:16.000 It's like, look how hard I was trying.

00:57:18.000 I want it to be liked so bad.

00:57:20.000 Do you ever go over your old writing?

00:57:22.000 Yeah, I have every joke I've ever written.

00:57:24.000 I used to write them on packing slips when I worked for Kristoff Silver.

00:57:29.000 Really?

00:57:29.000 What's Kristoff Silver?

00:57:30.000 It's a very high-end silverware place, and I worked in a packing... 0.99

00:57:33.000 I would be shipping and receiving, so I would write these on the back of fragile stickers, all these jokes, and yeah, I have all that shit. 0.98

00:57:39.000 Do you know who Owen Smith is? 0.98

00:57:41.000 Owen Smith.

00:57:42.000 Yes.

00:57:43.000 Dude, he's one of the best comics in the world. 0.76

00:57:46.000 He's one of those guys, I'm working with him actually tonight at the improv, but he's one of those guys, when he's on stage, I'm like, how the fuck do people not know who he is?

00:57:54.000 Because he got a lot of writing gigs.

00:57:55.000 He was writing for a lot of sitcoms, a lot of different really well-paying writing gigs, and he has a family, so he didn't do the road.

00:58:02.000 He didn't really travel a lot, but... 1.00

00:58:04.000 He's a fucking murderer, man. 1.00

00:58:05.000 Yeah, he's funny. 1.00

00:58:06.000 Anyway, he had this concept for a show, and I filmed an episode of it.

00:58:09.000 I don't know what he's done with it yet, but it was Bring Your Old Notebook.

00:58:12.000 So I found all these notebooks that I still have, and I busted them out.

00:58:16.000 I was amazed.

00:58:17.000 I mean, I have notebooks from like 91, 92, and it was so bad.

00:58:22.000 I even had built-in ad-libs and built-in reactions from the audience.

00:58:28.000 Then someone from the audience would say this and then I would say that. 0.99

00:58:31.000 I remember in the beginning trying to sit and write and literally being such a moron. 0.98

00:58:38.000 I had such a piss-poor grasp of the English language, first of all. 0.97

00:58:42.000 And then second of all, just sitting there, no idea how to write things.

00:58:45.000 Just no idea.

00:58:46.000 And so I would just write and hope a joke would come out of it.

00:58:50.000 And it never did.

00:58:52.000 Back in those days, the only time I came up with good bits was literally either talking to my friends and laughing, usually when we were drinking, or on stage.

00:59:01.000 Occasionally on stage, I would come up with an idea, and then I would foster it or feed it and try to make it grow. 0.98

00:59:07.000 But going over that fucking material was so painfully embarrassing. 0.99

00:59:11.000 It was so bad. 1.00

00:59:13.000 It's humiliating, the old stuff.

00:59:14.000 I don't mind reading it, though, because my persona is what I hated more than my writing.

00:59:19.000 So watching myself perform those old bits, because I had the baggy workout pants, bodybuilder pants. 0.99

00:59:24.000 Dude, I was such a cunt. 0.99

00:59:26.000 I was so awful when I started. 1.00

00:59:30.000 The writing I can look at, because it's detached from the fucking little character I would do on stage. 0.76

00:59:34.000 It's funny how there's some styles that just don't make it, but for a while, everybody has them. 0.99

00:59:40.000 And then everybody wakes up like, what the What the fuck are we wearing?

00:59:43.000 Do you remember Cavaricis? 0.98

00:59:45.000 I do, of course. 0.97

00:59:46.000 Dude, I ate gigantic plates of shit one day on stage wearing Cavaricis. 1.00

00:59:52.000 And I'll never forget how stupid I felt. 1.00

00:59:56.000 They're tight here and then baggy from the thighs out. 1.00

00:59:59.000 And I'm wearing these stupid things and I'm on stage and I'm bombing. 0.98

01:00:02.000 And I remember looking down at the way I was dressed and I had a button-up shirt. 0.99

01:00:05.000 And I followed Jim Brewer.

01:00:07.000 It was a pivotal moment in my career because I bombed so hard.

01:00:12.000 I really tightened up my act after that and really got to work because it was the most painful bombing I ever had.

01:00:17.000 But I'm standing there with Cavaricci's on with a nice shirt, like a dress shirt, like I'm going to the club.

01:00:22.000 Yeah.

01:00:22.000 Dressed like an entertainer.

01:00:23.000 Oh, dickhead. 1.00

01:00:24.000 What a dickhead. 1.00

01:00:25.000 And then I'm looking down at these fucking terrible pants. 1.00

01:00:28.000 And those pants were the shit for like two years or three years. 1.00

01:00:32.000 And then everybody was like, what the fuck are we wearing? 1.00

01:00:35.000 And they just went away. 0.98

01:00:36.000 Wasn't it like a members only jacket with it or like Capizio shoes?

01:00:40.000 Do you remember Capizio shoes were very big?

01:00:43.000 I do, but I can't picture them in my head.

01:00:45.000 Jamie, pull up Capizio shoes.

01:00:47.000 Yeah, I remember them from, I want to say early 90s or it might have been late 80s, but I remember a guy I knew, a sober guy I knew. 0.86

01:00:55.000 We used to go to these sober dances, which were very fucking depressing.

01:00:58.000 Like I would do that when I was 18 and 19. Wow. 0.97

01:01:01.000 Just to go try to meet girls.

01:01:02.000 Wow.

01:01:02.000 And they're sober too.

01:01:03.000 Yeah.

01:01:04.000 They're all suspicious of you. 1.00

01:01:05.000 You just want to fuck me. 1.00

01:01:06.000 I know what's going on here. 1.00

01:01:07.000 No, I would just kind of stand there.

01:01:08.000 Just kind of stand there in the back.

01:01:10.000 That's a Capizio?

01:01:11.000 No, that's not...

01:01:12.000 The black one, maybe. 0.99

01:01:13.000 What are those things? 0.94

01:01:14.000 Oh, yeah, there you go.

01:01:15.000 That's kind of...

01:01:15.000 That's like bowling shoes.

01:01:16.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:01:18.000 In the 80s.

01:01:18.000 That with Cavaricis.

01:01:19.000 Yes.

01:01:20.000 Ugh, like you're a ballet dancer.

01:01:21.000 Yeah, they were not good.

01:01:22.000 I'm your private...

01:01:23.000 How about that?

01:01:23.000 I want to get Aladdin shoes.

01:01:25.000 Go up right there.

01:01:26.000 Click on that.

01:01:27.000 No, the Aladdin shoes.

01:01:28.000 The curly tip ones.

01:01:29.000 Look at that.

01:01:29.000 Oh, those are pretty ones.

01:01:30.000 That's... 1.00

01:01:30.000 We've got to bring those bitches back. 1.00

01:01:31.000 Elf shoes. 1.00

01:01:33.000 Somebody who somewhere wore elf shoes, right?

01:01:36.000 Wasn't that the court jester thing, though?

01:01:37.000 That was like to make the king laugh. 1.00

01:01:39.000 You kind of had to dress like an asshole. 1.00

01:01:41.000 Right. 1.00

01:01:41.000 Can you imagine being a fucking... 1.00

01:01:43.000 You're basically a bad comedian dancing around for a murderous dictator. 1.00

01:01:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:50.000 And if you did anything to piss them off, they would just cut your fucking head off in front of everybody. 1.00

01:01:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:54.000 Bring me another one.

01:01:55.000 You probably became a good comedian fast because you read the room.

01:01:58.000 You knew exactly what you could say, what you couldn't say.

01:02:00.000 You knew who to go after, who not to go after.

01:02:02.000 Yeah.

01:02:02.000 I would love to have seen what it would be like to be a court jester in front of like Henry VIII. Yeah.

01:02:09.000 Like some murderous fucking ruthless king who just... 1.00

01:02:13.000 Didn't Henry VIII kill like a bunch of his wives? 1.00

01:02:16.000 I think he did. 1.00

01:02:16.000 They didn't want to get divorced to just cut their fucking heads off? 1.00

01:02:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:02:19.000 Wasn't he married to Anne Boleyn?

01:02:20.000 Am I remembering a different...

01:02:22.000 For some reason, I remember her name.

01:02:23.000 I don't know who that is.

01:02:24.000 Anne Boleyn.

01:02:25.000 Yeah, I want to say that was one of his wives, but I could be wrong.

01:02:27.000 I don't know who that is.

01:02:28.000 I'm a dropout, so it might have been something I'm conflating, two stories.

01:02:32.000 Well, I dropped out, too.

01:02:33.000 I didn't drop out of high school, but I dropped out of college.

01:02:35.000 How many years did you do?

01:02:36.000 His second wife.

01:02:36.000 Three.

01:02:36.000 What is it?

01:02:37.000 His second wife.

01:02:38.000 Anne Boleyn was, right?

01:02:39.000 Anne Boleyn. 0.50

01:02:39.000 Did he behead her? 0.50

01:02:41.000 She fell on her sword.

01:02:43.000 Yeah.

01:02:43.000 She slipped.

01:02:44.000 It's a mistake.

01:02:44.000 No big deal.

01:02:45.000 Seriously.

01:02:46.000 I thought he killed her.

01:02:47.000 I could be...

01:02:48.000 He killed a few of them, I believe.

01:02:49.000 Yeah.

01:02:50.000 But you wonder what the bombing was like for those guys.

01:02:53.000 There's a certain court gesture.

01:02:56.000 The pressure and wood bombing get you killed, or would you have another day?

01:03:01.000 Well, imagine, right?

01:03:02.000 How many times have you said a joke on the air, and it didn't really go well? 0.99

01:03:06.000 Like, you took a swing, and everybody's like, Jimmy, what the fuck? 0.99

01:03:09.000 I fucking tried. 0.99

01:03:10.000 Sorry. 0.99

01:03:11.000 But if you do that in front of a king, you know? 0.99

01:03:15.000 There's an Opie and Anthony clip called Jim Norton's Epic Carpet Bombing where it's a fucking... 0.98

01:03:22.000 It was one day where I just had nothing. 0.97

01:03:24.000 Like I was on no sleep and I come in, I was wired and I bombed for the entire four hour radio show.

01:03:33.000 And there's probably a 12 minute clip of just me bombing throughout the four hours.

01:03:38.000 The more comfortable you get, the more freeing it gets too.

01:03:42.000 You know what I mean?

01:03:42.000 You get more comfortable bombing and you can kind of embrace it and soak in what it is.

01:03:47.000 Oh, God.

01:03:48.000 But yeah, I love those old clips.

01:03:49.000 We are so lucky.

01:03:50.000 I mean, you were a giant part of that show.

01:03:53.000 But I feel real lucky that I was a part of that show.

01:03:55.000 I really do.

01:03:56.000 I feel like with guys, like guys like me in comics, that to us was the most comfortable environment we could ever find.

01:04:05.000 Yeah.

01:04:06.000 Like, I enjoyed doing Preston and Steve and, you know, doing K-Rock and, you know, Kevin and Bean and doing all these different radio shows.

01:04:15.000 I really enjoyed them.

01:04:16.000 Yeah.

01:04:16.000 No doubt.

01:04:17.000 But there was something about Opie and Anthony where I would get so excited when I was there.

01:04:23.000 When I was in New York, there was not a question of whether or not I was going to go. 0.71

01:04:27.000 Like, if you guys were going to have me, like, fuck yeah, we would get up early, we would smoke weed. 0.98

01:04:32.000 Ha ha! 0.99

01:04:32.000 We'd come in barbecued. 0.99

01:04:34.000 We'd just be so happy to be there.

01:04:35.000 I'd take edibles.

01:04:36.000 I would always have edible lollipops.

01:04:38.000 I couldn't wait to be on air with you guys because you could be what you were if you were hanging out at the store. 0.95

01:04:46.000 If we're hanging out in the back bar of the comedy store and everybody's just talking shit and laughing, that's what it was like on Opie and Anthony. 0.62

01:04:52.000 There was no other environment where you could just be comics being comics, just hanging out. 0.96

01:04:59.000 Yeah, going back and forth, being mean to each other.

01:05:02.000 Yes, yes!

01:05:02.000 I mean, it was some vicious...

01:05:04.000 Voss! 1.00

01:05:05.000 Voss must have skin like a fucking rhino. 1.00

01:05:08.000 He does. 1.00

01:05:08.000 He does, and a brain like one. 1.00

01:05:12.000 The beatings that he would take. 0.99

01:05:14.000 But he was also, Rich is so fast, too, that Voss was a guy that you could hit him, you could hit him, but as soon as you turn around, when he hits you back, it was a fucking killer line. 0.97

01:05:26.000 And Voss is really, really, Bobby is great at that. 0.89

01:05:29.000 You'd walk into the comedy cellar and they're laughing before you get there. 0.99

01:05:34.000 And you're like, oh, it's going to be a long fucking night. 0.96

01:05:36.000 It's gonna be a long night. 0.99

01:05:37.000 Voss was a master at dealing with hecklers and shitty crowds.

01:05:44.000 I did so many bad gigs with Voss. 0.99

01:05:46.000 Oh my god, we did so many fucking Bob Levy gigs. 0.95

01:05:50.000 Remember when Bob Levy used to book? 0.99

01:05:51.000 I love Bobby Levy.

01:05:51.000 I just talked to him.

01:05:52.000 Tell him I said hi.

01:05:53.000 I love him.

01:05:54.000 He used to book gigs.

01:05:55.000 I did a couple of his gigs with Voss.

01:05:58.000 He's having a hard time. 0.99

01:05:59.000 He had a fucking accident and his neck is fucked up, so he's getting insurances, fucking him around. 1.00

01:06:03.000 What's wrong with his neck? 1.00

01:06:04.000 I think he got rear-ended and he is trying to get the auto insurance to pay for his surgery.

01:06:10.000 He can't work.

01:06:11.000 But I believe he's had a hard time, man.

01:06:12.000 So is that a disc issue in his neck?

01:06:14.000 Is that what it is?

01:06:14.000 I think so, yeah.

01:06:15.000 But he's fucked up. 1.00

01:06:16.000 He's in a lot of pain and he's trying to... 1.00

01:06:18.000 Oh, that sucks. 1.00

01:06:18.000 Yeah, it sucks, man. 1.00

01:06:19.000 He's always been a good guy. 0.93

01:06:21.000 Dude, a lot of those guys, him, Jim Florentine, a lot of those guys, I wouldn't have a career without those guys.

01:06:26.000 How's he doing?

01:06:26.000 I haven't seen him in front of a while, too.

01:06:28.000 Florentine's doing well.

01:06:28.000 He's got a podcast now on Barstool, so he's starting to do something that's really going to get him a huge new audience.

01:06:34.000 Dude, I just heard they sold Barstool for $450 million.

01:06:38.000 I see you nodding.

01:06:39.000 Wow.

01:06:39.000 Yeah, they got a...

01:06:41.000 Investment or a deal they made with Penn Gaming, who owns a bunch of casinos, including the Tropicana thing in Vegas.

01:06:49.000 Yeah?

01:06:50.000 I think they get 36% now in a few years.

01:06:52.000 They can go by 50%, depending on how...

01:06:55.000 Jesus Christ.

01:06:55.000 The stock's way up already.

01:06:57.000 They have stock?

01:06:58.000 Well, that Penn Gaming company does, so yeah.

01:07:00.000 Oh, a Magic Barstool had stock?

01:07:02.000 Well, now you can invest in them, I guess.

01:07:03.000 We need JRE stock.

01:07:05.000 Hey.

01:07:06.000 I wonder if it would have gone up last week.

01:07:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:10.000 Once you become a publicly traded company, isn't that when this shit all happens? 0.99

01:07:14.000 When everybody, they try to kick out like fucking, like John, what's his name, John Schnatter from Papa John's? 1.00

01:07:21.000 Like they start getting ready to boot you out of your own company because you say something stupid. 1.00

01:07:24.000 Oh, you definitely can. 1.00

01:07:25.000 Yeah, that definitely can happen.

01:07:27.000 Yeah, as soon as you're involved, I'm just kidding about that.

01:07:30.000 I would not want JRE stock.

01:07:32.000 I remember Bob Levy had a girl over his house.

01:07:34.000 I got laid so infrequel in the old days, and he had a pretty girl at his house who liked me.

01:07:40.000 And my father drove me there.

01:07:41.000 I was probably 22 years old.

01:07:43.000 What was the worst snowstorm of the century at the time?

01:07:46.000 And my father drove me eight miles...

01:07:48.000 During the snowstorm?

01:07:49.000 During the snowstorm to Bob Levy's house.

01:07:51.000 To get laid. 0.99

01:07:52.000 And I fucked this girl in the bathroom, Bobby's bathroom, and I was standing in cat litter. 1.00

01:07:56.000 And I was... 1.00

01:08:02.000 What a good dad you have.

01:08:03.000 Yeah, my dad's a great guy, yeah, but he knew I told him, Dad, there's a girl there, you know?

01:08:07.000 Oh, God.

01:08:07.000 And I think he just wanted to, he was happy I said that, so he was just like, all right, I'll take you.

01:08:11.000 I don't miss driving in the snow, but I do miss, there's certain parts about driving in the snow that I do miss.

01:08:18.000 Like, when you actually made it.

01:08:20.000 Like, it was hard to do, hard to get home, but when you got home, boy, did you appreciate being home.

01:08:25.000 You felt great, yeah, when you actually got where you had to go.

01:08:27.000 Closed the door and... 0.99

01:08:30.000 You sit down, fucking make some hot chocolate or something, watch TV. You felt so comfortable. 1.00

01:08:35.000 I'm home.

01:08:36.000 It's warm. 1.00

01:08:39.000 You don't appreciate good weather unless you experience shit weather. 1.00

01:08:43.000 That's right. 0.99

01:08:44.000 But I don't miss doing the gigs.

01:08:46.000 I mean, I still do them, but when you're driving in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where they're two and a half hours over the hills to get to the gig, and it was like...

01:08:54.000 Panic-stricken because I'm afraid I'm going to hit black ice.

01:08:57.000 I remember I was so bad at driving that I had to park my car and call my girlfriend to come and pick me up at her sports car.

01:09:03.000 It was such a humiliating moment as a man to have to pull over and go, I can't drive on the ice.

01:09:09.000 And my girlfriend had to come and pick me up. 1.00

01:09:11.000 In a sports car.

01:09:12.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:09:13.000 Yeah, I didn't realize what a fucking tour. 0.99

01:09:14.000 I was driving my father's tourists. 0.98

01:09:16.000 I remember driving once and the snow was so bad, I was having a hard time discerning where the road is.

01:09:21.000 I couldn't figure out where's the road, what's the side of the road, because the snow was so deep.

01:09:27.000 It was getting to the point where it was hard to see where the road was. 0.98

01:09:30.000 That's where shit gets weird. 0.98

01:09:32.000 Yeah, when you're driving through the Adirondacks or upstate New York where there's no lights, it's just black. 0.99

01:09:36.000 It's black and then there's fog and then there's snow coming at you.

01:09:39.000 It is really...

01:09:40.000 And you're like, I'm 51. I've been driving since I was 19. I'm still...

01:09:44.000 It's like, shut up. 0.99

01:09:45.000 Just do 20. You got to do 20. You got to. 1.00

01:09:47.000 You can't blow through this like you're an experienced driver.

01:09:49.000 Wow. 0.99

01:09:49.000 Every time I used to be on the highway, and I'd be driving slow and carefully, there'd always be that one dipshit that goes flying by. 0.99

01:09:57.000 Just goes flying by. 1.00

01:09:58.000 Like, he knows how to drive in the snow better than anybody, and you're a bunch of pussies. 1.00

01:10:02.000 You can't handle it, and he's fucking... 1.00

01:10:04.000 And you'd always hope to see him wrapped around a pole about a mile down, but you never did. 1.00

01:10:08.000 I saw a car carrier fall over once.

01:10:11.000 That was wild.

01:10:12.000 With wind?

01:10:13.000 No, he jackknifed.

01:10:15.000 Jackknifed in the snow.

01:10:17.000 And wiped out. 1.00

01:10:18.000 Fucking cars scattered all over the highway. 1.00

01:10:20.000 It was wild. 1.00

01:10:21.000 It was wild.

01:10:22.000 But he just, he slipped.

01:10:24.000 I saw him losing it, and by the time I got there, he was tipped over and the cars were hanging out.

01:10:30.000 He just lost control of this... 0.99

01:10:31.000 You know, those fucking things, they're so unwieldy. 0.99

01:10:35.000 You know, you got 13 cars stacked up on this crane thing behind you, and... 1.00

01:10:40.000 This guy just lost his shit, and it was just so snowy. 0.99

01:10:43.000 I was heading to Western Massachusetts to try to get laid. 1.00

01:10:47.000 Not even for a gig?

01:10:48.000 It was for a girl.

01:10:49.000 I wasn't doing comedy back then.

01:10:50.000 I think I was 17. 17 or 18. I barely could drive.

01:10:54.000 Terrible driving.

01:10:55.000 And I remember this long trip to Western Massachusetts.

01:10:58.000 It was long normally.

01:11:00.000 It was like a couple hours normally.

01:11:02.000 But now, with all the snow and everything, it was brutal.

01:11:05.000 Did you make it?

01:11:05.000 I made it.

01:11:06.000 Yeah.

01:11:07.000 I made it.

01:11:07.000 Yeah, it's crazy what we do to get laid back in those days.

01:11:09.000 Oh my God. 0.96

01:11:10.000 And now it's like, look, if you don't hit me up on Instagram, it's just not fucking happening. 0.91

01:11:13.000 What do you want me to tell you? 0.77

01:11:14.000 I can't do it anymore.

01:11:16.000 Well, you know, this is what I was trying to explain to someone once that when, you know, a woman, actually, when you are an 18-year-old boy, you are a drug addict, okay? 0.99

01:11:26.000 And you're a drug addict for sex. 0.98

01:11:29.000 And you've only been having sex for a little while. 1.00

01:11:31.000 For me, it was like two years.

01:11:32.000 I think I got laid when I was 16. So it was like two years.

01:11:35.000 And just you're a straight-up junkie. 0.95

01:11:38.000 And sex was the most exciting thing of your life. 0.97

01:11:41.000 Like, it was so much more exciting than anything else I did.

01:11:45.000 So much more interesting than anything else I did.

01:11:47.000 And I wanted it so bad. 0.97

01:11:49.000 And then you're so horny, you know, that, like, all you're thinking about is how you could possibly have sex. 0.98

01:11:55.000 Yeah. 0.61

01:11:56.000 And so, what do I gotta wear?

01:11:57.000 What do I gotta say?

01:11:58.000 What do I gotta do?

01:11:59.000 Where do I gotta drive?

01:12:01.000 I mean, you don't realize what immense power it has over your life.

01:12:05.000 And I think it has a lot of power over women's lives. 1.00

01:12:08.000 Obviously, I've never been a woman, so I don't know what it feels like to want dick. 0.99

01:12:12.000 But I would imagine it's probably pretty similar, which is why there's so many fucking people on the planet. 0.99

01:12:16.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:12:16.000 Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a 50-50 pull, I would say. 0.97

01:12:20.000 But a lot of times, it's not even the sex.

01:12:22.000 I remember being a teenager, and I would pick up, I would go out and get a hooker, and then afterwards, my favorite part would be talking to her on the way back. 1.00

01:12:29.000 Really? 0.52

01:12:29.000 Like, I loved talking. 0.52

01:12:31.000 Like, I really, I think a lot of it was I misidentified being lonely with wanting sex. 0.98

01:12:35.000 Like, there was times I was horny, but there was times where I would come, or I wouldn't be able to come, and I would just jerk off, and I'd be like, no, I can't come. 0.96

01:12:42.000 But then I would just sit, like, let's talk for a little while. 0.96

01:12:45.000 Really?

01:12:45.000 Always my favorite part was talking to them, driving them back, getting to know them.

01:12:49.000 How many did you talk to?

01:12:51.000 Every girl I had picked up.

01:12:52.000 And so you would have long conversations?

01:12:54.000 Did they enjoy the conversations?

01:12:56.000 When they were willing.

01:12:57.000 But again, they were people I knew because I would see them all the time.

01:13:00.000 Or they would see me driving around.

01:13:03.000 And this is Commercial Avenue in New Brunswick in the mid-80s.

01:13:08.000 I think they liked it a little bit.

01:13:10.000 I mean, it was probably different.

01:13:11.000 I wasn't aggressive.

01:13:12.000 I was pleasant.

01:13:15.000 Right.

01:13:15.000 They're probably happy that someone was being nice to them.

01:13:17.000 Well, you can always tell when you drove back to where you got them, if they just jumped out, okay, they just wanted the ride back.

01:13:21.000 And then there was times they would just sit in the car.

01:13:23.000 They're like, hey, drive around the block.

01:13:24.000 We'll smoke.

01:13:25.000 Sometimes they would ask you to do that so they could have a cigarette and a conversation.

01:13:28.000 Yeah, man.

01:13:29.000 It's got to be so weird to find yourself. 1.00

01:13:31.000 You're a hooker. 1.00

01:13:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:34.000 I look back on it now and it's like, I do think it should be legal. 1.00

01:13:37.000 I don't think people should tell other people they don't have the right to do it.

01:13:40.000 But I look back and I'm like, how many people, were they in situations that I didn't know of? 0.98

01:13:45.000 Like, were there people being forced to do shit that I didn't know were being forced to do shit? 0.95

01:13:50.000 And that's kind of something that's been a little... 1.00

01:13:52.000 Fucking with you. 0.99

01:13:53.000 Yeah, it's been fucking with me a little bit. 1.00

01:13:54.000 Well, you remember they tried to pin that on Robert Kraft, the guy who owns the Patriots, who went to a massage parlor to get jerked off. 0.99

01:14:00.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:14:01.000 And they were saying, they were charging him with participating in sex trafficking.

01:14:04.000 It was just a completely fabricated accusation. 0.99

01:14:08.000 Because the women that were there, it turns out, nope, they're just regular women that massage guys and then jerk them off afterwards. 1.00

01:14:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:15.000 But they put that out there so it was out there no matter what like it hit the press it hit this guy And so he had to sort of like deal with this even though he's like this fucking guys worth billions of dollars, which is thousands of millions for us Just think of owning thousands of millions of dollars still couldn't keep the shame of getting jerked off It's like a 69, 0.89

01:14:38.000 70-year-old man or something like that. 0.93

01:14:40.000 They're coming back at him with something else now, too.

01:14:42.000 For the same case?

01:14:43.000 Yeah, there's something else that just got talked about.

01:14:45.000 Again, I don't know exactly what the prosecutor's throwing at him, but sometimes a prosecutor, I think, sees something that, hey, we can get a lot of mileage on this.

01:14:54.000 And because nothing happened to Kraft the first time, I think they're coming back at him with something updated.

01:15:01.000 Well, I also think that this is what...

01:15:03.000 I've said this about law enforcement, too.

01:15:04.000 When you...

01:15:06.000 Play a game.

01:15:07.000 And here's the game.

01:15:08.000 I arrest you.

01:15:09.000 I want to convict you.

01:15:10.000 Here's the game.

01:15:11.000 You try to get out of it.

01:15:12.000 I don't want you to get out of it.

01:15:13.000 Now we're in competition.

01:15:14.000 It's a game.

01:15:15.000 It's not a game.

01:15:16.000 Obviously, it's the law.

01:15:17.000 And obviously, you know, people should be arrested.

01:15:21.000 Don't misconstrue what I'm saying.

01:15:22.000 But whenever someone is trying to do something and the other person doesn't want you to do something, people get competitive.

01:15:29.000 And...

01:15:30.000 People withhold evidence.

01:15:31.000 They lie. 0.99

01:15:32.000 I mean, there's been so many fucking cases of prosecutors withholding evidence that could have people released. 0.99

01:15:38.000 Kenneth Niffong in the Duke rape case. 0.99

01:15:42.000 He didn't get disbarred for that, or he did some shady shit. 0.98

01:15:45.000 Well, there's a lot of those cases. 0.98

01:15:46.000 It's not just him.

01:15:47.000 I mean, how many different detectives have withheld evidence?

01:15:51.000 Prosecuting attorneys have withheld evidence? 0.99

01:15:55.000 You know who's fucking amazing at helping people with this shit? 1.00

01:15:59.000 It's Kim Kardashian. 1.00

01:16:00.000 Yes, she is. 0.99

01:16:01.000 Kim Kardashian has gotten some, fuck, I think it was like, the latest count was like 18 people released who were unjustly accused of crimes. 0.99

01:16:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:16:10.000 Fucking insane, Matt. 0.99

01:16:11.000 Yeah, well, she kind of has... 0.99

01:16:12.000 I mean, they kind of have like a direct line to the president, so they at least have some resource to go to if they need it.

01:16:18.000 But she doesn't have to do that. 0.99

01:16:20.000 That lady's worth fucking hundreds of millions of dollars. 1.00

01:16:23.000 She can do whatever the fuck she wants. 1.00

01:16:24.000 But she's doing that with her spare time. 0.99

01:16:26.000 It's...

01:16:27.000 It's really incredible.

01:16:29.000 I've completely stopped making fun of her.

01:16:42.000 You had a bad interview on ONA? Yeah, they told us to be nice to her.

01:16:46.000 Who told us to be nice?

01:16:47.000 The publicist?

01:16:48.000 Yeah, we promised we wouldn't be confrontational.

01:16:50.000 So I remember, I watched a recent Opie film, but we weren't supposed to film it, but Opie had a camera going.

01:16:55.000 And I was just getting really annoyed because she was being very distant.

01:17:00.000 So what happened?

01:17:01.000 So you go to this store, right?

01:17:02.000 And she's like, you have to watch it.

01:17:04.000 And I'm like, that's not a way to promote, to tell people you have to watch it.

01:17:07.000 Oh, this is when she had a television show?

01:17:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:09.000 Sorry, I keep fucking with the mic. 1.00

01:17:10.000 It's a terrible habit I have. 0.98

01:17:12.000 It's my OCD just getting it just right.

01:17:14.000 Keep moving, keep moving.

01:17:15.000 It's really irritating me that I'm doing it.

01:17:18.000 But it just wasn't a good interview.

01:17:21.000 We wanted to be really cruel to her because I didn't think she was being nice. 0.92

01:17:25.000 I thought she was being not nice to us.

01:17:27.000 But we had promised we wouldn't.

01:17:28.000 So it just came off as awkward and weird.

01:17:32.000 I forgot that she had a TV show.

01:17:34.000 She's one that sort of slipped into obscurity on purpose, it seems like.

01:17:38.000 Yeah, she's got product lines. 1.00

01:17:39.000 She's making a fucking billion a year. 1.00

01:17:41.000 She's making money doing her product. 1.00

01:17:43.000 I think she's got a whole bunch of stuff that's got her name on it.

01:17:45.000 Right, but it seems like she's taking herself out of the public eye. 1.00

01:17:49.000 For a lot of them, they realize, hey, this isn't good for you.

01:17:52.000 You know, the sting of all this scrutiny and people hating you. 0.99

01:17:56.000 People fucking hated her, man. 1.00

01:17:58.000 Yeah, they did. 1.00

01:17:59.000 She represented this vapid, you know, sort of trend.

01:18:02.000 I wanted to like her, too.

01:18:04.000 I wanted to be...

01:18:05.000 I did not want to dislike her for that reason.

01:18:07.000 I'm like, it's too easy.

01:18:08.000 Like, all these guys hate her.

01:18:10.000 But then she came in. 0.98

01:18:11.000 I'm like, I get it.

01:18:12.000 I get it.

01:18:13.000 Because it wasn't pleasant.

01:18:15.000 I didn't hate her.

01:18:16.000 I just was like, come on.

01:18:17.000 That could have been better.

01:18:19.000 I wonder, like...

01:18:20.000 What's the matter, Jamie?

01:18:21.000 I was just looking.

01:18:22.000 She's got a documentary coming out.

01:18:23.000 It just came out.

01:18:24.000 Oh, super important to hear.

01:18:26.000 Watch that documentary.

01:18:29.000 Oh, you know what I heard is amazing?

01:18:30.000 The Aaron Hernandez documentary.

01:18:32.000 It's good.

01:18:33.000 I heard it's incredible.

01:18:34.000 Yeah, I saw it's three parts.

01:18:35.000 Probably could have been two.

01:18:36.000 Sometimes Netflix will do three when they could do two, but it was very good.

01:18:40.000 Interesting to hear him talk about the sexuality and the whole...

01:18:43.000 I was under the illusion, and it's funny because I talk about his hanging. 0.94

01:18:48.000 I do a suicide hunk.

01:18:49.000 I get this... 0.71

01:18:50.000 I'm on Netflix with the degenerates, and part of it is I'm talking about suicide and hanging, and I reference his, and I get one part of it wrong because I thought he was in jail for killing...

01:19:00.000 I didn't realize he didn't get convicted of killing those first two people.

01:19:04.000 He didn't?

01:19:04.000 No.

01:19:05.000 No.

01:19:06.000 What was he in jail for?

01:19:07.000 The one guy.

01:19:09.000 Not the other two.

01:19:10.000 I didn't realize he was acquitted of that.

01:19:12.000 So I got that part wrong.

01:19:13.000 So he killed three people?

01:19:15.000 That's what he was...

01:19:18.000 Believe to, but I believe it was only one person and the two people he was acquitted.

01:19:24.000 I was shocked to realize that. 0.99

01:19:26.000 I was like, well, fuck, I already did the bit. 1.00

01:19:27.000 Goddamn. 1.00

01:19:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:29.000 He really hung himself, too.

01:19:30.000 He really committed to it.

01:19:32.000 They didn't go into the hanging as much.

01:19:34.000 I wanted the details of that.

01:19:36.000 Because I read the details about what he did to prevent himself from being saved.

01:19:40.000 I'm like, I hope I got that right because I read that he put detergent on the floor so the guards wouldn't be able to get their footing.

01:19:46.000 He put cardboard in the doors they couldn't open so it would jam.

01:19:52.000 I heard he did all that, but the documentary didn't go into that.

01:19:54.000 I kind of wish they had.

01:19:55.000 Unless I'm wrong.

01:19:56.000 Well, they said that he had extreme CTE. Yeah.

01:20:00.000 Extreme.

01:20:01.000 And I think there are a lot of people out there like that.

01:20:05.000 There's a lot of people out there that are playing pro football, fighters, anybody involved in extreme contact sports that have extreme CTE. It scares the fuck out of me, man. 0.64

01:20:18.000 You know, I fell skiing recently.

01:20:20.000 Banged my head real bad.

01:20:22.000 I was skiing going around this corner and this lady, she seemed like she was new. 1.00

01:20:27.000 She was like on a slope trying to get her skis back under her and she slid right into the trail and I saw her and I was like, fuck! 0.99

01:20:34.000 And I tried to get away from her. 0.99

01:20:36.000 My leg went sideways and I fell back and bang!

01:20:40.000 Hit the back of my head off the ground.

01:20:43.000 I have a crack in my shin bone.

01:20:45.000 It's called an insufficiency fracture.

01:20:48.000 It's like right...

01:20:49.000 Where your cartilage meets your shin bone, the bone that's like a crack in my bone.

01:20:55.000 I mean, I hit hard.

01:20:56.000 Can you do anything or it's just heals?

01:20:58.000 Just heals.

01:20:58.000 It's actually fine.

01:21:00.000 I mean, it was probably a month or so ago, and it doesn't cause me any pain anymore.

01:21:05.000 I knew something was wrong and I got an MRI on it, but what I was really worried about was my head. 0.98

01:21:09.000 Because I've been hit in the head so many fucking times. 0.99

01:21:11.000 So many times. 1.00

01:21:12.000 I don't know how many times I've been hit in the head. 0.68

01:21:14.000 Kicked in the head. 0.79

01:21:16.000 Punched in the head. 0.99

01:21:17.000 You know, headbutts. 0.96

01:21:18.000 Knees to the head. 0.98

01:21:19.000 Just so many times.

01:21:21.000 And you wonder, like, what's in there?

01:21:24.000 You know, like, when you see a guy like Aaron Hernandez, who was 28 years old, I think? 0.99

01:21:28.000 And they said he had the brain of, like, a fucking 80-year-old Alzheimer's patient. 1.00

01:21:31.000 Like, his brain was fucked. 1.00

01:21:32.000 Yeah, his decision-making. 1.00

01:21:33.000 What does it say?

01:21:34.000 Hitch in the front, I think. 0.78

01:21:35.000 Right.

01:21:35.000 Aaron Hernandez suffered from the most severe CTE ever found in a person his age.

01:21:40.000 Yeah.

01:21:41.000 See, I don't think I have CTE like that.

01:21:43.000 So he was 27. I don't think I have it like that, but I have it.

01:21:47.000 Do you think you have it?

01:21:49.000 100%.

01:21:49.000 Yeah.

01:21:50.000 Does everybody get it, though?

01:21:51.000 Does everybody take shots?

01:21:53.000 Yeah, I think everybody gets it.

01:21:54.000 You get a little bit of it.

01:21:55.000 Don't you worry about too traumatic brain injury when you fall like that, like what Liam Neeson's wife died of?

01:21:59.000 Yes. 0.99

01:22:00.000 That's fucking scary for a fall. 0.99

01:22:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:22:03.000 I mean, you know, once I was okay, you know, a few days later, I wasn't necessarily worried about that.

01:22:08.000 But I definitely, I think I had a concussion because I was real dizzy afterwards.

01:22:11.000 And I felt weird.

01:22:13.000 Like I felt off. 0.93

01:22:15.000 And then I was with my daughter, my 11-year-old, and we were getting on the fucking ski lift, and I spazzed, and I got a little too far ahead, like when the ski lift comes, and then I tried to go back because I was in the wrong place. 0.90

01:22:31.000 I moved to, you know, like I should have waited for the next one to come, and then I didn't, and then I fell down, and then I couldn't get back up. 0.89

01:22:37.000 So I was just, I was dizzy.

01:22:39.000 I was like a little bit out of it.

01:22:40.000 And my daughter didn't know that I fell down.

01:22:43.000 And then I'm like, I'm a little out of it.

01:22:45.000 I hit my head.

01:22:46.000 And she's like, when did you hit your head?

01:22:47.000 You didn't hit your head.

01:22:48.000 And I'm like, not now.

01:22:49.000 I just then had hit my head.

01:22:51.000 The whole rest of the day, I was not talking that good.

01:22:55.000 I was a little out of it.

01:22:56.000 I got rocked.

01:22:58.000 It was a...

01:22:59.000 Bang! 1.00

01:22:59.000 Like my head, my legs went out and it was just back of the head on hard packed snow. 1.00

01:23:05.000 I got knocked out by a baseball when I was a kid. 0.99

01:23:08.000 I was so dumb. 0.99

01:23:09.000 Because my sinuses are so fucked up and a part of me thinks I've taken two baseballs One really hard line drive to the middle of my face. 1.00

01:23:17.000 I was underhand pitching to my friend Rob, probably from here to your TV, and he drilled a line drive into my fucking face. 0.99

01:23:25.000 And I woke up and I was on the ground and he was standing over me panic-stricken that I was dead. 0.99

01:23:32.000 And then there was another time where I was a fly ball and I just misjudged it and it split my head open.

01:23:37.000 Did you get your nose checked?

01:23:39.000 Yeah, I've got surgery.

01:23:40.000 I gotta go back for surgery.

01:23:41.000 I'm going Monday to actually see somebody. 1.00

01:23:43.000 I'm a fucking kid. 0.99

01:23:44.000 Have you had the surgery before? 1.00

01:23:45.000 Yeah, it didn't do much.

01:23:47.000 Deviated septum surgery?

01:23:48.000 Yeah, but it's just not enough.

01:23:50.000 Didn't work?

01:23:51.000 No. 0.97

01:23:52.000 Plus, I take Cialis, so that might fuck me up with your turbinates opening and swelling a little bit. 0.99

01:23:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:23:58.000 I don't know.

01:23:59.000 It changed my life.

01:24:00.000 I had it done.

01:24:01.000 I know.

01:24:01.000 You're the one who got me on the whole mouth guard thing.

01:24:03.000 Yeah.

01:24:04.000 I don't have the one you have with the one that pushes the tongue down.

01:24:07.000 I have one that pushes the tongue down.

01:24:09.000 Does it work?

01:24:10.000 It makes it possible to fall asleep, but it doesn't keep me asleep.

01:24:14.000 You should get the tongue down one, man.

01:24:16.000 Next time you're here, I'll bring you to that doctor's office that does those. 0.96

01:24:19.000 Yeah, I really do need that, but I don't know if I can get used to that.

01:24:21.000 You can.

01:24:22.000 You can.

01:24:23.000 I sleep like a baby with it. 1.00

01:24:25.000 I shoved that fucker in there. 1.00

01:24:26.000 I've had one for years. 1.00

01:24:27.000 And you don't need a mask?

01:24:28.000 No.

01:24:28.000 No, I don't need a mask.

01:24:29.000 But I don't snore.

01:24:30.000 I don't snore anymore. 1.00

01:24:31.000 But if I take that fucker off, if I go to sleep and I don't pay attention to me, my wife punches me. 1.00

01:24:35.000 She's like, wake up, you're snoring. 1.00

01:24:37.000 She doesn't punch me, but you know.

01:24:38.000 She wakes you up.

01:24:39.000 Wake up, wake up.

01:24:40.000 You're lying.

01:24:41.000 Because I'm like...

01:24:42.000 Yeah.

01:24:44.000 You know.

01:24:46.000 I've lost a lot of weight recently.

01:24:47.000 I wonder if my snoring would be less.

01:24:50.000 Because I lost weight in my face.

01:24:52.000 I lost weight in my neck.

01:24:53.000 I lost weight everywhere.

01:24:54.000 On purpose?

01:24:55.000 Yeah.

01:24:55.000 I went on this carnivore diet.

01:24:57.000 Oh.

01:24:58.000 I lost 12 pounds in a month just eating only meat.

01:25:02.000 That doesn't scare you?

01:25:04.000 No.

01:25:04.000 Why doesn't it scare you?

01:25:05.000 Meat always scares me because I've always heard that cancer loves meat.

01:25:08.000 So that's always frightening.

01:25:10.000 Cancer loves sugar. 1.00

01:25:11.000 Yeah.

01:25:12.000 Whole 30 is what I put weight on.

01:25:14.000 I probably put 15 pounds on and I'm so angry at myself because I have to wear a suit and my pants don't fit.

01:25:20.000 Why do you have to wear a suit?

01:25:21.000 I'm just presenting something tomorrow and I just...

01:25:24.000 What are you presenting?

01:25:25.000 It's an award show, but it's not televised.

01:25:28.000 It's like an art director award or something. 0.99

01:25:30.000 So they asked me to do it, and I never get asked to do that shit. 0.98

01:25:32.000 So I have to wear my suit. 0.99

01:25:33.000 I have to buy a new suit after this.

01:25:35.000 Oh, boy.

01:25:36.000 I won't buy clothes.

01:25:38.000 I'd just rather be uncomfortable. 0.99

01:25:40.000 But I was such a fat twat. 0.99

01:25:42.000 I looked at myself yesterday. 1.00

01:25:43.000 I'm like, you fucking pig. 1.00

01:25:45.000 I really had a meltdown last night. 1.00

01:25:47.000 I forgot my pants.

01:25:48.000 All I have is suit pants.

01:25:49.000 I don't have regular jeans with me. 0.99

01:25:50.000 Do you spiral like when you like you decide you fucked up? 0.99

01:25:54.000 Do you start spiraling like hate spiral? 0.98

01:25:56.000 It's crazy how I I I don't do it as badly anymore cuz I've caught myself So many but that takes me to a very dangerous place like it's taking me to a really bad place So I like I try not to do that Because the next thing you know, you're walking around the house fucking putting a belt around your neck,

01:26:13.000 just kind of testing, not tying it, but just holding it and just seeing what it feels like to have a belt.

01:26:19.000 How many times have you done that?

01:26:21.000 Literally hundreds.

01:26:23.000 Please call me.

01:26:24.000 I'm not going to do it.

01:26:25.000 Please.

01:26:26.000 I would never.

01:26:27.000 But call me.

01:26:28.000 Yes, sir.

01:26:29.000 I'm just saying it's some things like anyone who's ever gone through with it and done that, like Robin and fucking Bourdain, I would love to sit with those guys and just...

01:26:39.000 Like, I guarantee that was the 508th time you did that.

01:26:43.000 Not necessarily tried it, but that put it there.

01:26:47.000 Guarantee you.

01:26:48.000 A hundred percent.

01:26:49.000 A hundred percent.

01:26:50.000 You've talked to other people that have the same sort of thing?

01:26:53.000 No, I just know the process.

01:26:54.000 I just know the process.

01:26:55.000 Like, you can't just one day...

01:26:57.000 You feel it.

01:26:59.000 You give yourself a shot.

01:27:00.000 You see what that feels like.

01:27:01.000 You hate yourself.

01:27:02.000 And then you let it go.

01:27:04.000 And then you take it off and you don't tie it to anything.

01:27:07.000 I would guess.

01:27:09.000 Well, a guy like Bourdain, man, that one was such a bummer to me.

01:27:13.000 That was the biggest bummer.

01:27:16.000 I mean, Brody was a giant bummer, too.

01:27:18.000 I forgot about Brody, yeah.

01:27:19.000 Jesus.

01:27:20.000 That was a huge bummer.

01:27:21.000 Did you see it coming?

01:27:22.000 No.

01:27:23.000 I didn't know him well enough.

01:27:24.000 No, I knew he had bouts where he wasn't doing well.

01:27:28.000 Everybody loved him, though, man.

01:27:29.000 Everybody.

01:27:30.000 You'd see him.

01:27:32.000 I never didn't hug that guy.

01:27:35.000 Every time I saw him, I hugged him.

01:27:36.000 He was such a good guy.

01:27:39.000 Everybody loved him.

01:27:40.000 Nobody didn't like Brody.

01:27:41.000 Except Brody.

01:27:42.000 Yeah.

01:27:43.000 Well, he was sick.

01:27:45.000 He had all kinds of different medications that they had tried on him and all sorts of different issues, but he would go off the reservation sometime.

01:27:54.000 Oh, that's a bad expression, right?

01:27:57.000 Someone's saying that was a racist.

01:27:59.000 Who said that?

01:28:00.000 Oh, it was Daryl.

01:28:01.000 Yeah, it's a racist expression, apparently.

01:28:05.000 He would go haywire and You didn't know what was going on, but he'd be on stage yelling, but it wasn't funny.

01:28:14.000 Brody was hilarious, and his style of comedy was so uniquely him.

01:28:19.000 If you wrote it down on paper, you wouldn't understand why it was funny. 0.96

01:28:23.000 But then when you saw him in real life, you'd be fucking crying and laughing. 0.99

01:28:26.000 He was so funny. 0.99

01:28:28.000 But then I'd see him sometimes, and he would be...

01:28:31.000 There was no funny.

01:28:32.000 It was just him complaining about stuff. 0.79

01:28:34.000 I'm like, when is this going to turn silly? 0.90

01:28:36.000 Because usually it turns silly, but it didn't turn silly. 0.58

01:28:38.000 And then people are like, oh, Brody's off his medication.

01:28:42.000 So yeah, you wonder how many times did he dry run it?

01:28:47.000 Did he dry run it?

01:28:48.000 Because you can't be that, again, maybe there's exceptions to the rule, but you cannot be a depressed person and dealing with that all the time and not have dry run it.

01:28:58.000 I mean, I don't think anybody ever puts a gun in their mouth and shoots themselves the first time.

01:29:03.000 I'm sure it's something you've walked through a bunch of times and just couldn't make yourself do it. 1.00

01:29:07.000 God damn. 1.00

01:29:08.000 Yes, the time you kill yourself is the time you can finally just not stop yourself from doing it. 1.00

01:29:13.000 But I guarantee you he had gone through that a bunch.

01:29:16.000 I just know too many people.

01:29:18.000 Too many people that have done that now.

01:29:20.000 I think I know...

01:29:21.000 I mean, it might be seven or eight comics that have killed themselves in the time.

01:29:25.000 I mean, guys that never made it, too.

01:29:26.000 Most of them were not as known as Brody or Richard Jenny or Rupp.

01:29:30.000 A lot of them were guys that just didn't ever get up above...

01:29:33.000 I never really knew Jenny.

01:29:36.000 You know, I said hi to him when I was friendly with him.

01:29:38.000 You called me when I was in Pittsburgh.

01:29:40.000 I was in the green room when you called me.

01:29:43.000 He was a giant influence on me when I was starting.

01:29:46.000 He was so good.

01:29:48.000 I talk about him too much to the point where people get annoyed, but I just want people to know. 0.99

01:29:52.000 In the 80s, that guy was the fucking man. 0.98

01:29:56.000 Like, you don't know how good he was. 0.99

01:29:57.000 When I was an open-miker in 1988, I went to see him at Catch a Rising Star in New York, and I was like, this guy is fucking brilliant. 0.98

01:30:05.000 He was fucking brilliant. 0.96

01:30:06.000 But, you know, I forget who he was talking about the other day. 0.98

01:30:10.000 I don't even know if it was on here, but they were saying that he liked two things.

01:30:13.000 That was it.

01:30:14.000 And he would tell you. 0.87

01:30:15.000 He likes comedy and porn.

01:30:17.000 That's it.

01:30:17.000 That's all he cared about.

01:30:19.000 And, like, literally, like, didn't really socialize.

01:30:22.000 You know, maybe had a girlfriend or didn't have, you know, on and off.

01:30:25.000 But comedy and porn.

01:30:26.000 Didn't have any hobbies.

01:30:28.000 Didn't, you know, always wanted to be, like, Seinfeld.

01:30:30.000 Always wanted to have the sitcom or be Jim Carrey, have the movies.

01:30:34.000 But it never really happened.

01:30:35.000 Yeah.

01:30:36.000 He was such a great comic.

01:30:37.000 I think the last time I talked to him, he called me about...

01:30:40.000 And I didn't know him that well, but I knew him just from the business.

01:30:43.000 And he was unhappy because they had been attacking him online about something.

01:30:48.000 Like bashing him, not saying he wasn't funny or whatever.

01:30:50.000 It was just one of those things where a site trashes you.

01:30:52.000 He was really upset by it.

01:30:54.000 Really?

01:30:54.000 I'm like, you're so much bigger than this.

01:30:56.000 He didn't almost understand how influential or powerful a comic he was.

01:31:02.000 That that would bother him.

01:31:03.000 That's why I wish he survived to podcasting.

01:31:06.000 I wish he survived to realize how much we, other comics, appreciated him.

01:31:13.000 I tell this story, but I'll tell it again.

01:31:15.000 Eastside Comedy Club in Long Island in the late 80s, early 90s, he did Friday and Saturday, two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, four different hours.

01:31:25.000 Murdered.

01:31:26.000 They said that everyone was standing around afterwards like he just did four different hours. 0.99

01:31:30.000 Like, we should fucking quit. 0.97

01:31:32.000 We're here pawing off the same shitty 40 minutes, you know, just trying to pretend that we're a headliner, and this guy just murked four different hours. 0.98

01:31:40.000 It's weird, too.

01:31:40.000 That club, I never did that club.

01:31:42.000 Here's my experience.

01:31:42.000 Richie Minervini booked me at that club, and then I get there, and there's a lock on the door.

01:31:46.000 Like, the only time I was there, I fucking showed up. 1.00

01:31:48.000 It was like the weekend is fucking shit. 1.00

01:31:49.000 Fucking shut down. 1.00

01:31:51.000 Richie's brother was a mixed martial arts commentator. 1.00

01:31:54.000 He was a sports guy.

01:31:56.000 He did World Combat Championships, I think it was called.

01:32:00.000 He was the play-by-play guy.

01:32:04.000 He was the play-by-play guy.

01:32:06.000 And it was like...

01:32:08.000 The early days of fighting, when the UFC had just started, and Henzo Gracie fought Oleg Taktarov, and Richie's brother was the play-by-play commentator.

01:32:19.000 Yeah, like he did the John Anik, Mike Goldberg role.

01:32:22.000 Yeah.

01:32:23.000 I remember thinking, this is so crazy.

01:32:25.000 Because I don't think at the time I had even done any work for the UFC. I think at the time, I was just a fan.

01:32:33.000 What year did you start with then?

01:32:34.000 97. Oh, okay.

01:32:36.000 20 years.

01:32:37.000 23 years.

01:32:38.000 Isn't that nuts?

01:32:39.000 I started at UFC 12 in Dothan, Alabama.

01:32:44.000 How was your first broadcast?

01:32:49.000 They didn't give me any instruction.

01:32:51.000 Nobody told me what to do.

01:32:53.000 Nobody told me how to do it. 0.99

01:32:54.000 Nobody told me shit. 0.89

01:32:55.000 They just said, do you want a gig interviewing the fighters after the fights? 0.98

01:32:59.000 I was like, sure.

01:33:01.000 And then it was so rinky-dink. 0.99

01:33:03.000 We were in this weird little fucking hotel... 0.99

01:33:09.000 That's where we were staying. 0.99

01:33:10.000 We flew in there on a propeller plane.

01:33:12.000 The gig was supposed to be in Buffalo, New York, but New York State banned it at the last minute.

01:33:17.000 So Bob Meyerowitz, who was the owner of the company, and Campbell McLaren, who was the guy who hired me, they told me, you're going down to Alabama instead.

01:33:25.000 Like, what?

01:33:25.000 So I flew in to one part of Alabama and then took a puddle jumper.

01:33:31.000 And landed in Dothan and that was like the place where they were allowed to do the show there and it was this little auditorium it wasn't very big at all and the first show I ever worked at Mark the Hammer Coleman beat Dan Severn for the UFC heavyweight title UFC 12 Vitor Belfort made his debut and I was actually training at Vitor school I was a white belt Carlson Gracie's in 97. And I had been there since 96. I started

01:34:01.000 training there in 96. And then in 97, Vitor was making his UFC debut.

01:34:06.000 And just by sheer luck, I happened to be at the actual gym with Carlos Barreto and Mario Sperry and all these just assassins back then.

01:34:15.000 And I got to be the post-fight interview guy.

01:34:19.000 Yeah, it was nuts, man.

01:34:21.000 That's me.

01:34:22.000 Yeah.

01:34:23.000 Look at my earring.

01:34:24.000 Ooh, so cute.

01:34:26.000 Little cutie pie.

01:34:27.000 Yeah, so that was way, way back in the dizzy, man.

01:34:33.000 1997. Rodrigo Medeiros.

01:34:34.000 There's Vitor. 0.98

01:34:35.000 When you think in 97, you're like, fuck, I was doing comedy seven years by that point. 0.84

01:34:38.000 Like, it's a long time ago, and I was already in the business. 0.96

01:34:41.000 Yeah, I was nine years in at that point in comedy.

01:34:43.000 Because I started in 88, yeah.

01:34:45.000 And I didn't book gigs.

01:34:48.000 I actually had to quit because it was costing me money.

01:34:51.000 Because if I would go to do a UFC, I don't remember how much I made.

01:34:55.000 It wasn't that much to do the interview stuff.

01:34:57.000 But then if I could do a comedy gig, I could make like two grand for a weekend.

01:35:02.000 So I was like, why am I doing that when I can make two grand?

01:35:06.000 Like, what am I doing?

01:35:07.000 I'm making like one instead of two.

01:35:09.000 It was just costing me money.

01:35:10.000 Plus, anything that got in the way of comedy was difficult, too.

01:35:13.000 It was, but for me, my life started with martial arts.

01:35:17.000 I mean, that was also...

01:35:19.000 I started in 88, and the last time I fought was 89. So that was probably somewhere in the neighborhood of eight years since my serious competition days.

01:35:32.000 So I still loved it.

01:35:33.000 I was still into it.

01:35:34.000 And I was loving that this new thing was around.

01:35:36.000 So I was happy to be there.

01:35:38.000 Even though it wasn't like...

01:35:40.000 It wasn't affecting my career in a good way. 0.97

01:35:42.000 In fact, the people that were, I was on news radio at the time, and the people that were the producers were like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.87

01:35:48.000 Like, why are you doing this? 0.99

01:35:49.000 Like, why would, why would, they, they treated me like I was going off to do, like, porn. 0.62

01:35:54.000 Right. 1.00

01:35:54.000 What is this fucking violent thing you're talking about and being a part of and putting your face on? 1.00

01:35:59.000 But, yeah, and I was, like, an expert. 0.99

01:36:01.000 Like, I was the expert interviewer, asking people questions, doing things like, you're attaching yourself to cage fighting? 1.00

01:36:08.000 The fuck is wrong with you? 0.99

01:36:10.000 But I loved it, man. 1.00

01:36:11.000 I loved it.

01:36:12.000 I was so excited to see this happen because we had always wondered.

01:36:15.000 When I started doing martial arts, you know, I started in karate.

01:36:18.000 I did like a little bit of kung fu, then I did karate.

01:36:21.000 Kung fu was like one lesson.

01:36:23.000 And then a little bit of karate, but then I got balls deep into Taekwondo.

01:36:26.000 But everybody always wanted to know what was the best martial art.

01:36:30.000 And I switched from Taekwondo and I started doing kickboxing and boxing because I realized my hands were terrible.

01:36:36.000 And then I'm like, man, I thought it was good because I was good at Taekwondo, but this boxing stuff is more important to learn.

01:36:43.000 I need to learn that.

01:36:44.000 And then I started doing jujitsu and getting strangled. 0.99

01:36:46.000 I'm like, fuck, I don't know anything. 0.98

01:36:47.000 And I remember thinking when the UFC came along, finally, we're going to figure out what works. 0.99

01:36:53.000 Finally, we're going to know what works.

01:36:55.000 You know, and now look at it.

01:36:56.000 You work for the UFC now.

01:36:57.000 How crazy is that? 0.99

01:36:58.000 It's fucking crazy. 0.97

01:37:00.000 Because I love it so much, and I love just, I'm a fan, so I just, I love the fact that I just get to talk to the fighters and hang with Matt. 0.97

01:37:06.000 Like, it's a really...

01:37:07.000 I love Matt.

01:37:07.000 I love Matt, too.

01:37:08.000 Matt Sauer is a fucking gem of a human being. 0.99

01:37:11.000 He's 100% genuine. 1.00

01:37:12.000 Yes.

01:37:13.000 He's exactly the same on the air.

01:37:15.000 Yes.

01:37:16.000 He's the same guy.

01:37:17.000 He's beautiful.

01:37:18.000 I love him.

01:37:18.000 He really is.

01:37:19.000 I love him.

01:37:19.000 Matt's an amazing guy.

01:37:21.000 Being a part of it, even in the way I am, which is a peripheral way, I don't fight.

01:37:26.000 I don't train.

01:37:28.000 Have you thought about training?

01:37:29.000 A lot.

01:37:29.000 Caitlin Chukagin keeps telling me, I'm going to go to your first class.

01:37:33.000 I want you to come to Henzo's.

01:37:34.000 Yes, she's been telling me for two years.

01:37:36.000 But I get so claustrophobic and tired from not sleeping, but whatever.

01:37:40.000 The UFC Unfiltered fans want to smash me for yapping about it.

01:37:43.000 I want to take it.

01:37:45.000 You just got to do it.

01:37:47.000 I know if you're tired from lack of sleep and everything like that, but just do it.

01:37:51.000 And you should go to this doctor and get a real mouth, because you can't sleep with a CPAP, right?

01:37:54.000 It bothers you?

01:37:54.000 I need a mouthpiece, but I also...

01:37:57.000 I can't do CPAP anyway.

01:37:58.000 I need ASV, which is both types of apnea it covers.

01:38:03.000 But yeah, I want to either go to Henzo's or...

01:38:05.000 Henzo's is great.

01:38:06.000 Just go.

01:38:07.000 I think Jimmy Rivera has a place around there too.

01:38:09.000 Does he?

01:38:09.000 I believe so, yeah.

01:38:10.000 Tiger Shulman's one of the...

01:38:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:12.000 It's far from where I live and he's invited me to do that.

01:38:14.000 Just go.

01:38:15.000 Just go.

01:38:17.000 Just go.

01:38:18.000 Just do it.

01:38:18.000 I know.

01:38:18.000 I just have to do it.

01:38:19.000 Just make yourself do it.

01:38:19.000 Yeah, it's fun.

01:38:20.000 You'd love it. 0.99

01:38:21.000 I'll suck at it. 0.99

01:38:21.000 It'll be okay. 0.99

01:38:22.000 Of course. 0.96

01:38:22.000 Everybody sucks at it in the beginning. 0.96

01:38:23.000 I sucked at it. 1.00

01:38:25.000 I can clearly remember being just tortured, raped by this dude. 1.00

01:38:29.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:38:30.000 This guy just destroyed me.

01:38:31.000 Do you get used to the sweat on you?

01:38:33.000 Like, I think that would always bother me.

01:38:34.000 You do, right?

01:38:35.000 Yeah, get used to it.

01:38:35.000 Get used to anything.

01:38:36.000 It's good for you.

01:38:37.000 Not the sweat, but the physical contact.

01:38:40.000 It actually...

01:38:41.000 There's a camaraderie with jiu-jitsu that...

01:38:44.000 It's very different than any other martial art.

01:38:49.000 You're trying to kill each other, but you're also looking after each other.

01:38:52.000 The guys who you really care about, like Tenth Planet guys or John Jock's guys when I trained with them, nobody hurt you.

01:38:58.000 If you got hurt, it was by accident.

01:39:00.000 Guys were, you know, you're trying to kill each other, but you knew that if they got you in an arm bar, that they were not going to try to break your arm.

01:39:06.000 They were going to hold it and, you know, give you an opportunity to try to get out of it if you could, or tap. 0.95

01:39:12.000 And no one was going to, like, just fucking yank it. 0.88

01:39:14.000 No one ever does that. 0.97

01:39:15.000 No one.

01:39:16.000 And you appreciate that.

01:39:18.000 It's like a good feeling that you know that if this guy does get you in something and you tap, they immediately let go.

01:39:23.000 They stop. 1.00

01:39:24.000 Yeah, and then you slap hands and you go, damn, you got me, you motherfucker. 1.00

01:39:27.000 And you laugh. 1.00

01:39:27.000 And then you go back and do it again. 1.00

01:39:29.000 Because I'm fascinated.

01:39:30.000 I want to do it.

01:39:31.000 Honestly, my own laziness is one reason I just haven't.

01:39:35.000 Because Matt loves talking about choking.

01:39:38.000 Matt loves the idea of strangling somebody with their own coat.

01:39:42.000 He's like, oh, a winter coat, that's a gift!

01:39:46.000 Oh, it is. 1.00

01:39:47.000 I mean, I always said, like, if you were fighting in a street against a judo player, and you had a winter coat on, oh my god, you're so fucked. 1.00

01:39:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:54.000 Because they're just gonna fucking grab you and use the world on you. 0.99

01:39:57.000 Because literally, slam your head into the world. 1.00

01:39:59.000 Especially New York City, like the streets, just fucking shit. 1.00

01:40:03.000 Boom! 1.00

01:40:05.000 The worst. 0.99

01:40:06.000 You should be naked and greasy if you ever think about getting in a fight with somebody.

01:40:09.000 I would have to train with clothes, with a gi, I think, if I ever do it, just because I'm going to be on the subway. 0.72

01:40:15.000 No one's going to be shirtless. 0.57

01:40:16.000 If I ever have to fucking defend myself, they're going to probably have clothes on. 0.85

01:40:19.000 Yeah, but you'd learn how to use the clothes. 0.97

01:40:21.000 I'd do both.

01:40:23.000 You'd learn how to use gi, no gi.

01:40:25.000 You'd learn how to do both.

01:40:26.000 It's no big deal.

01:40:27.000 If someone has clothes on, it's not like you don't know what to grab because they have clothes on.

01:40:30.000 It's simple.

01:40:32.000 They're all nice.

01:40:32.000 I'm not worried about it.

01:40:33.000 I'm not afraid of it.

01:40:34.000 I like the people so much who I've met involved with.

01:40:37.000 I've never met anybody involved with it who I didn't like.

01:40:39.000 Yeah, they're nice people, right?

01:40:40.000 All of them are nice people. 0.99

01:40:41.000 None of them are dicks. 0.99

01:40:42.000 None of them give that energy off. 1.00

01:40:43.000 They all know they can strangle me.

01:40:45.000 Nobody makes you feel that way.

01:40:46.000 Well, that's why a guy like Matt Serra is such a good guy because he's got such a good character.

01:40:51.000 You kind of notice that from a lot of fighters, right?

01:40:54.000 They have great character.

01:40:55.000 One of the reasons why they have great character is they don't have a problem with their ego.

01:41:00.000 They're controlled.

01:41:01.000 They understand who they are.

01:41:03.000 They feel good.

01:41:04.000 I'm never uncomfortable around any of them.

01:41:06.000 Never for that reason, at least.

01:41:09.000 No matter who they are or what position they're in, they're all kind of the same.

01:41:13.000 None of them come off with that alpha energy that other athletes give you.

01:41:16.000 I remember on ONA, you'd have everybody choke you.

01:41:18.000 I used to do that, yeah.

01:41:20.000 BJ was the first guy.

01:41:22.000 He was coming off a loss, and I wanted to see what it felt like.

01:41:25.000 I knew it wouldn't be the same, but I had seen arm bars, and I wanted to know what does it feel like when somebody grabs your arm that way.

01:41:31.000 So he did it.

01:41:32.000 They were all pretty gentle. 0.99

01:41:35.000 Fedor put me in a fucking good one. 0.99

01:41:37.000 Did he? 0.99

01:41:37.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:41:38.000 His hurt.

01:41:39.000 And I was like, ah!

01:41:40.000 And he laughed.

01:41:40.000 And he did it again.

01:41:42.000 But to feel those things, it gives you such a respect for the fact that there's guys that are doing this for real.

01:41:48.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:41:49.000 This is a guy just showing some fucking idiot on the radio. 1.00

01:41:52.000 Didn't John Jones gently leg kick you, too? 1.00

01:41:54.000 No. 0.99

01:41:55.000 John Jones fucking put a hard leg kick. 1.00

01:41:57.000 He was like weight-cut wheat. 0.99

01:41:59.000 So he might not have been the best of fucking moods. 0.99

01:42:02.000 He put me... 0.99

01:42:03.000 He shin-kicked me...

01:42:06.000 Across the leg.

01:42:07.000 It hurts so bad.

01:42:08.000 I know, but I'm being honest.

01:42:09.000 I think he did it lightly.

01:42:11.000 I'm sure he did.

01:42:11.000 Let me see.

01:42:12.000 Here it is.

01:42:12.000 Look at my hands up.

01:42:14.000 Put your dukes up.

01:42:18.000 That's light.

01:42:19.000 Compared to what he could have done.

01:42:20.000 That's light.

01:42:21.000 But I almost threw up.

01:42:22.000 Look at him.

01:42:23.000 Look at you.

01:42:24.000 Look at you.

01:42:27.000 I almost vomited.

01:42:28.000 I had to go to the bathroom because I thought I was going to faint.

01:42:30.000 Okay, but I'm telling you right now, that wasn't even 50%.

01:42:33.000 Oh, no.

01:42:34.000 Not even close.

01:42:35.000 That probably wasn't even 30%.

01:42:36.000 All that was was like the weight of his leg. 0.97

01:42:40.000 Yeah, no, he could have really fucking leveled me. 0.98

01:42:42.000 Oh, my God. 0.98

01:42:43.000 Kane has choked me.

01:42:44.000 I've had a few guys do things.

01:42:46.000 Who hurt you the most?

01:42:47.000 John, that kick. 0.56

01:42:48.000 I had to wear a leg brace.

01:42:49.000 I'm not exaggerating.

01:42:50.000 For how long? 0.94

01:42:51.000 My knee had been fucked up, so I probably put one on for three months after that, but... 0.96

01:42:58.000 The face that you would get. 0.99

01:42:59.000 Randy, go to her. 0.62

01:43:00.000 Yeah.

01:43:01.000 There's a whole...

01:43:02.000 Oh, what has Fedor got you in an arm lock?

01:43:04.000 Oh, who's got you in a heel hook? 1.00

01:43:05.000 It was Brock.

01:43:06.000 Brock Lesnar, no!

01:43:07.000 You let Brock Lesnar touch your knees?

01:43:09.000 Yeah.

01:43:09.000 Oh, that's so terrible.

01:43:10.000 Yeah.

01:43:11.000 Oh, my God.

01:43:12.000 Rashad punched you?

01:43:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:43:15.000 There's a whole fucking series of people beating on you. 0.99

01:43:17.000 But it was never a test. 0.99

01:43:18.000 It was never like, hey, let's see how the hurt.

01:43:22.000 Oh, John punched you too?

01:43:24.000 You let him punch you and kick you? 0.83

01:43:26.000 It was a different outfit. 0.86

01:43:27.000 That's a different day.

01:43:29.000 Oh, Uriah punched you in the arm too?

01:43:33.000 There's a whole video series of you getting beat up by UFC fighters.

01:43:37.000 This is so horrible, dude.

01:43:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:43:39.000 Who got me in that?

01:43:40.000 Was that Frank or Ken?

01:43:42.000 Frank.

01:43:43.000 Oh, Anderson kicked you?

01:43:44.000 Yeah, not hard though.

01:43:45.000 Anderson's a nice guy.

01:43:46.000 He wouldn't kick me that hard.

01:43:47.000 That's good for him, man.

01:43:49.000 I'm glad. 0.98

01:43:49.000 We're going to have him kick you in the arm? 0.98

01:43:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:43:52.000 You could break your arm easy, man.

01:43:54.000 Yeah, but I always trust these guys.

01:43:56.000 I know that none of them are going to do it so hard.

01:43:59.000 That they do anything to me that's going to damage me?

01:44:01.000 Because they all know I'm not fighting.

01:44:03.000 Right.

01:44:03.000 But I all know that they could...

01:44:05.000 I just trust them for some reason.

01:44:07.000 I trust them to be gentle.

01:44:08.000 I don't know why.

01:44:09.000 Well, they're nice people.

01:44:11.000 Plus, they know it's the radio.

01:44:12.000 They're not trying to hurt you.

01:44:13.000 John got you in a choke, too.

01:44:15.000 Yeah.

01:44:17.000 This is so crazy, dude. 1.00

01:44:18.000 All these people fucking... 1.00

01:44:19.000 Look, Fedor... 1.00

01:44:20.000 Yeah, Fedor wouldn't let go.

01:44:21.000 He wouldn't let go.

01:44:22.000 No, he enjoyed it.

01:44:24.000 Do you know Fedor just got you again?

01:44:26.000 Look at this.

01:44:27.000 He tapped you like three times.

01:44:29.000 Look at Rashad's getting you in a triangle.

01:44:31.000 Oh my god, that is hilarious, dude.

01:44:32.000 Yeah, Rhonda armbarred me. 1.00

01:44:34.000 I had some really fun ones, man.

01:44:35.000 I wish I had done more of these because it was really a bit done out of respect for what they do.

01:44:40.000 Right, just to feel what it's like.

01:44:42.000 To watch someone who's world-class and one of the best alive at doing that... 0.99

01:44:47.000 And then all of a sudden, to have them do it to you, it felt like, fuck, man, this is how good this guy is at this. 0.55

01:44:51.000 How did you get the gig with the UFC? How'd that work? 0.95

01:44:54.000 Dana had asked me one time, you know, we'd known each other a long time, and he'd say, one day we're going to work together.

01:44:58.000 We're going to do something.

01:44:59.000 I don't know what.

01:45:00.000 And I was like, all right, you know, and I would see him at events and whatever, and I just got a phone call one day.

01:45:05.000 He's like, hey, man, we're doing a podcast with Matt Sari.

01:45:08.000 You want to do it? 0.83

01:45:08.000 He fucking just called me and goes, here's the money. 0.83

01:45:10.000 Do you want to do the podcast? 0.99

01:45:12.000 It was a phone call from Dana offering me the podcast.

01:45:15.000 Matt was already in place, and I said, yeah, I would love to.

01:45:18.000 So we worked out a couple of things with my job where I was able to do something else with my name on it, and he just hired me.

01:45:24.000 Wow.

01:45:25.000 I'm hired as a comedian who loves UFC. Matt is the guy who can play-by-play call, who can analyze jujitsu so beautifully, and that's not what I do.

01:45:35.000 Yeah.

01:45:35.000 No, it's interesting that the UFC even has a podcast, you know?

01:45:39.000 Yeah.

01:45:39.000 UFC Unfiltered.

01:45:40.000 Yeah.

01:45:41.000 I mean, they could have just got two analysts to do it, but I think Danny just wanted a different tone to it.

01:45:47.000 How often do you guys do it?

01:45:47.000 Once a week?

01:45:48.000 Twice a week.

01:45:48.000 Twice a week?

01:45:49.000 I see Matt every Monday and Wednesday.

01:45:51.000 Really?

01:45:52.000 And you meet in the city at a studio or something?

01:45:54.000 Meet in the city in a studio.

01:45:56.000 We had a lot of fighters on.

01:45:58.000 Usually they're not in studio.

01:45:59.000 A lot of times they're Skyping in. 0.98

01:46:00.000 That sucks. 0.95

01:46:01.000 I prefer in studio. 0.99

01:46:02.000 Oh, every time.

01:46:04.000 I've only done a couple of Skypes.

01:46:07.000 Two, actually.

01:46:07.000 Snowden?

01:46:08.000 Snowden and John Anthony West, who is one of my favorite guests ever.

01:46:13.000 He's an Egyptologist.

01:46:14.000 Oh, who's that?

01:46:15.000 This incredible understanding of Egypt and the hieroglyphs.

01:46:21.000 He had this great DVD series called Magical Egypt.

01:46:25.000 He just passed recently.

01:46:27.000 Amazing guy.

01:46:28.000 But him, just because he was sick and he couldn't get in here.

01:46:32.000 And then Snowden, obviously, because he's on the moon.

01:46:36.000 Yeah, wherever he is, he can't come.

01:46:38.000 That was weird.

01:46:39.000 It's weird to do...

01:46:40.000 I don't like the Skype interviews.

01:46:42.000 I prefer them to the phone, though.

01:46:43.000 Because guys would call on their way to practice.

01:46:45.000 Like, you know what I mean?

01:46:46.000 We'd have Cowboy on the phone, and he'd be just driving, going to do something, and you hear the wind, and you couldn't get anything done.

01:46:51.000 Well, the weird thing about the Snowden one, too, was it wasn't just that it was remote.

01:46:55.000 It was also, like, what we're talking about, like, who he is and what his situation is.

01:46:59.000 He's trapped in Russia, allegedly.

01:47:02.000 I mean, he might be in Cleveland. 0.99

01:47:03.000 Who the fuck knows where he is. 0.96

01:47:04.000 But that he's, you know, got this situation where he's never going to really be able to come back to the United States unless they, you know, work out some sort of a deal. 0.99

01:47:14.000 And even then, he's not going to believe them.

01:47:16.000 You know, I mean, I wouldn't believe them.

01:47:17.000 I probably wouldn't either.

01:47:18.000 Didn't he say no about UFOs, though?

01:47:21.000 Didn't you ask him when he said that he hadn't seen evidence?

01:47:23.000 He hadn't seen evidence.

01:47:23.000 But how much did he look into and how much was available to him?

01:47:27.000 And, you know, where is that kind of evidence?

01:47:29.000 Sure.

01:47:30.000 If there is any of that stuff.

01:47:31.000 I don't know.

01:47:32.000 Maybe on a closed system, too?

01:47:33.000 I don't want to not believe in UFOs.

01:47:36.000 I resist it.

01:47:36.000 I resist it hard.

01:47:37.000 I'm not rational about it.

01:47:39.000 Dude, I'm trying. 0.69

01:47:40.000 I gotta piss real bad.

01:47:43.000 Go ahead. 0.99

01:47:43.000 Piss my pants. 0.99

01:47:46.000 There's been an uptick in UFO stuff recently. 0.97

01:47:49.000 Yeah, I wonder why.

01:47:50.000 I wonder what that is.

01:47:51.000 Space Force.

01:47:52.000 You know what I think honestly it is?

01:47:54.000 When the New York Times had that thing where they were talking about all the different reported UFO sightings that are reputable from people like David Fravor and these Air Force guys.

01:48:07.000 That are like otherwise rock-solid individuals who talk about their experiences.

01:48:12.000 But my problem with it, my legitimate problem with me as a human being is I want it to be real. 0.99

01:48:17.000 So when people don't think it's real, like, oh, that's all bullshit. 0.97

01:48:20.000 I'm like, no, it's real. 0.97

01:48:22.000 Like, I'm not objective.

01:48:26.000 I'm biased.

01:48:27.000 Like, legitimately biased.

01:48:29.000 And I know it.

01:48:30.000 And I'm like, come on, man.

01:48:31.000 Why are you so biased about this?

01:48:33.000 It's a weird one.

01:48:34.000 Like, I want it to be real so much.

01:48:36.000 Like, talking to Bob Lazar, like, God, I hope he's telling the truth.

01:48:41.000 I'm sure this was a theory, because it's no way to be proven, but I saw someone online postulate that the uptick in alien stuff could be, like, us coming from the future.

01:48:52.000 I've heard that, too.

01:48:53.000 That the idea is that what the grays are.

01:48:57.000 And this is something I've personally thought...

01:49:00.000 I think independently was that if you look at human beings and you look at say a gorilla, right?

01:49:05.000 You look at a gorilla was this big hairy fucking animal thing and then you slowly turn that into you know, I guess we didn't really come from gorillas we came from chimps but Chimps You know, monkeys, lower hominids, Australopithecus, you know, and then, 0.91

01:49:21.000 you know, ancient man, right? 0.96

01:49:23.000 And then all these different versions of what we are until we become, right now, homo sapien 2020. Well, what are we...

01:49:31.000 How do we look different?

01:49:32.000 Well, unless you're someone who works out a lot, you're losing a lot of your musculature.

01:49:37.000 You're not as dense.

01:49:39.000 You're not as hairy.

01:49:41.000 You know, when you see, like... 1.00

01:49:43.000 That fucking killer wrestler from Russia. 1.00

01:49:46.000 Remember when we showed videos of that dude? 1.00

01:49:48.000 God damn it. 0.98

01:49:49.000 I'm trying to remember his name. 0.99

01:49:52.000 Rustam.

01:49:53.000 Yeah.

01:49:53.000 Rustam.

01:49:55.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:49:56.000 Is it? 1.00

01:49:57.000 Hold on.

01:49:58.000 Chiev, Rustam Chiev. 0.99

01:50:00.000 He's this fucking tank of a man that's covered in hair, but he looks like someone from the past. 0.99

01:50:07.000 You know, when he's throwing people around with this fucking giant hairy back and hair all over his chest and arms, this is that guy. 0.99

01:50:15.000 But he almost looks like a normal human there. 0.98

01:50:18.000 But there's some videos of him when he's grappling.

01:50:21.000 Like that one right there, where he's got the double flex, the red one.

01:50:24.000 Right above that, yeah. 1.00

01:50:26.000 Like, look how hairy that motherfucker is. 1.00

01:50:27.000 That guy's from another time. 1.00

01:50:29.000 Yeah.

01:50:30.000 That is from another time.

01:50:31.000 I mean, that guy, you could comb his chest hair. 0.99

01:50:33.000 We were talking about aliens, and I was saying, if you look at people like that, like real hairy, fucking testosterone-filled savages, like this guy was an elite wrestler. 0.99

01:50:43.000 He's a killer grappler. 0.99

01:50:45.000 And then you look at aliens.

01:50:47.000 Well, if you look at chimps to that guy, to aliens, what's happening?

01:50:53.000 Well, what's happening is we're getting less hairy and we're getting smaller and weaker, right?

01:50:57.000 We're getting more and more like what an alien looks like. 0.70

01:51:00.000 And aliens have no genitals. 1.00

01:51:01.000 They have no mouths. 0.99

01:51:03.000 They're just this smooth, skinny thing with this big head and these big weird eyes.

01:51:08.000 Like, when we...

01:51:10.000 Get rid of the need.

01:51:11.000 If we evolve past the need for physical strength, if we evolve past the need for, you know, sex, if sex is, we don't reproduce any longer through just normal biological male-female sex.

01:51:26.000 If they've, you know, who knows, a million years from now, a hundred thousand years from now, we might decide that one of the biggest problems that faces human beings on earth is our emotions, Our desire for sex, biology, all of our animal instincts that we still hold onto.

01:51:43.000 And we could evolve past those.

01:51:44.000 Just like we're so much different than chimps are.

01:51:47.000 We're so much different than we used to be when we were lower hominids.

01:51:51.000 We've evolved.

01:51:52.000 We've evolved to the point where we're communicating with words.

01:51:54.000 We're using phones.

01:51:55.000 We fly in planes.

01:51:56.000 We have technology.

01:51:57.000 But also our bodies are softer.

01:51:59.000 And our bodies are less...

01:52:00.000 They're not as strong.

01:52:02.000 They're not as animalistic and explosive.

01:52:06.000 And if it continues along that path, especially aided by technology when we don't have any need, especially if we have these big ass giant brains and we can use telepathy to communicate, we can communicate through some other way, maybe even electronically enhanced, maybe,

01:52:21.000 you know, something in their brain.

01:52:22.000 But when you look at an alien with the big head and the little tiny body, that's what a person is probably going to become.

01:52:28.000 Our heads are way bigger.

01:52:29.000 Our brains are bigger than other hominids and other primates.

01:52:33.000 Our bodies are softer and weaker.

01:52:35.000 And if you just keep going with that, that's what happens.

01:52:37.000 The head continues to get big. 0.96

01:52:38.000 But do they have no genitals, though? 0.98

01:52:39.000 Or is it something that, at least the phone or whatever people say they are, are they just wearing something that hides their genitals? 0.98

01:52:45.000 Could be. 0.97

01:52:46.000 I don't know if they have no genitals. 0.95

01:52:47.000 I'm pushing hard for it.

01:52:49.000 It could be no genitals, but it also could be those aren't even biological things anymore.

01:52:55.000 It could be that human beings become some sort of cybernetic, some sort of cyborg.

01:53:01.000 If you think about body parts, right?

01:53:04.000 If we start replacing body parts, like I met a gentleman the other day.

01:53:07.000 I did this benefit.

01:53:10.000 What is the guy's name?

01:53:12.000 The Australian gentleman who was a soldier who lost both his arm and his leg in a shark attack.

01:53:19.000 I did a benefit the other day with him.

01:53:22.000 For the Australian wildfire.

01:53:23.000 He's got a carbon fiber arm and a carbon fiber leg.

01:53:26.000 It's crazy.

01:53:27.000 Shakes your hand, like grips it with his carbon fiber hand.

01:53:29.000 And, you know, right now you can tell the difference between his carbon fiber hand, this electronic hand, and his other hand.

01:53:37.000 But maybe a hundred years from now you won't be able to. 0.98

01:53:40.000 And maybe in the future it's better to have one of these artificial bodies than it is to have a biological body that can break and get all fucked up and you feel pain. 0.95

01:53:50.000 We're replacing things all the time. 0.96

01:53:52.000 We're replacing body parts all the time with operations, and we use organic substitutes.

01:53:57.000 Paul DeGelder.

01:53:58.000 Yes, that's the man.

01:53:59.000 Shout out to Paul.

01:54:01.000 Yeah, we did this Australian benefit with Jim Jeffries and Monty Franklin and Whitney Cummings the other night for the Australian wildfire for wildlife relief.

01:54:12.000 They lost a billion animals in that fire.

01:54:14.000 Yeah, I heard.

01:54:15.000 A billion.

01:54:16.000 Jesus.

01:54:16.000 It's crazy.

01:54:17.000 Yeah.

01:54:17.000 Anyway, In the future, maybe they'll get to the point where they'll have limbs that are better than the limbs we have.

01:54:24.000 Like, what are you doing with these biological limbs?

01:54:26.000 Jimmy, upgrade. 1.00

01:54:27.000 Give yourself a fucking alien body. 1.00

01:54:30.000 I want to believe, dude. 1.00

01:54:32.000 I saw the Lazar documentary.

01:54:34.000 You had him in.

01:54:35.000 I enjoyed it.

01:54:36.000 I didn't see the whole interview, but what I saw I liked a lot.

01:54:39.000 There's always that one place with conspiracy.

01:54:41.000 There's always a gap I cannot cross.

01:54:43.000 And for me it's the degrees.

01:54:45.000 I just can't get beyond the degrees being gone.

01:54:49.000 The two schools.

01:54:49.000 I can't get beyond it.

01:54:50.000 And I want to.

01:54:51.000 I would much rather believe in UFOs than not believe in them.

01:54:55.000 Well, he's clearly educated, and he says he worked for Los Alamos Labs, and they sent him to MIT to work on top-secret projects.

01:55:03.000 There's clear evidence that he worked at Los Alamos Labs.

01:55:06.000 Ashley, do me a favor.

01:55:07.000 Go to Jeremy's...

01:55:12.000 I think it's on his Instagram page.

01:55:14.000 It might be on his Twitter.

01:55:16.000 He has this thing where he has George Knapp explain all the different things he went through to prove that Bob Lazar was legit.

01:55:25.000 One of them being that he definitely worked at Los Alamos.

01:55:27.000 He was even in the employee registry, even though they said he didn't.

01:55:30.000 Yeah, play that and give me some volume.

01:55:33.000 The central question for me about Bob was, did he work at Los Alamos lab?

01:55:38.000 If he worked there on classified projects, it is plausible that he could work at Area 51 at Papoose Lake on other stuff.

01:55:46.000 Did he work there?

01:55:47.000 I can tell you flat out he did.

01:55:49.000 100% certain that he did.

01:55:51.000 I found his name in the phone book.

01:55:53.000 I found his name in an article in the Los Alamos newspaper.

01:55:56.000 I talked to people who were there and finally Bob took me there.

01:56:00.000 He took me into the lab with Waved at the security guys.

01:56:03.000 We brought a camera along.

01:56:05.000 This guy was familiar.

01:56:06.000 It was like a rabbit running through a burrow that he had traveled every day.

01:56:10.000 And he's waving at security guys and walking into all these buildings.

01:56:13.000 He knew his way around.

01:56:14.000 He'd been there before.

01:56:16.000 They knew him.

01:56:16.000 They let him in.

01:56:17.000 They let me in.

01:56:18.000 I interviewed people he worked with.

01:56:19.000 They said he was there.

01:56:20.000 We proved it.

01:56:21.000 And yet, the paper trail ends at a certain point.

01:56:24.000 We don't have any records.

01:56:25.000 We can't find anything.

01:56:26.000 They'd already told me they had the records.

01:56:28.000 As soon as I think I'm getting close, they yanked the rug out from under me.

01:56:33.000 He took lie detector tests.

01:56:34.000 He passed all of them.

01:56:35.000 I know that doesn't mean anything, but look, we're talking about the 1980s.

01:56:39.000 They get away with a lot back then in terms of erasing your history.

01:56:42.000 And his education is undeniable in terms of what he knows.

01:56:47.000 He's a brilliant guy.

01:56:48.000 When you talk to him, he's not faking anything.

01:56:50.000 He doesn't have any holes in his understanding of physics.

01:56:54.000 I don't know if he's telling the truth, but again, I'm not objective.

01:56:58.000 I'm biased.

01:56:59.000 I want to believe.

01:57:00.000 I want to believe as well.

01:57:02.000 I can't get beyond the school things.

01:57:04.000 To me, that says he's not being truthful.

01:57:07.000 Well, the MIT thing, I'll tell you this. 0.95

01:57:09.000 He told me that they sent him from Los Alamos Labs to there to work on something, and I'll tell you what it is off air, but I told him I wouldn't talk about it during the podcast because you're going to hear, when I tell you, you're going to go, holy fuck, and it'll make a little more sense. 0.70

01:57:25.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:57:26.000 Again, I'm a fucking loser. 0.99

01:57:28.000 I want it to be real. 1.00

01:57:29.000 No, but it can be real.

01:57:31.000 But I mean, I want it to be.

01:57:32.000 So I'm not looking at it.

01:57:35.000 You're very biased.

01:57:37.000 I'm invested.

01:57:38.000 I'm not invested anymore.

01:57:40.000 Even the Three Naval videos.

01:57:44.000 I'm like, whenever a pilot sees something, that Tic Tac video, but now that there's something that they're saying that's making me go, that might be man-made, because they're saying something about, if we were to reveal this, it would compromise national security.

01:57:56.000 No, no.

01:57:57.000 If they could reveal all the files they have on these UFO incidents, it would compromise national security, first of all, because it'll compromise their...

01:58:05.000 If they reveal how they know that something is blocking radar, that object, whatever it was, was actively jamming radar.

01:58:12.000 I had Commander Fravor, the guy who filmed that thing, the guy who was there and who reported that thing.

01:58:18.000 I had him here.

01:58:18.000 He said that thing went from 60,000 feet down to 200 in less than a second.

01:58:23.000 There's nothing that we have that can do that.

01:58:26.000 He said that thing moved so fast, it made this travel in this radar.

01:58:31.000 You know, radar is a blip, right?

01:58:32.000 It's like, beep, beep.

01:58:33.000 Bip! 0.96

01:58:34.000 Between one blip to another, it had moved in a preposterous speed.

01:58:38.000 You couldn't even track it.

01:58:39.000 It was moving so fast.

01:58:41.000 They don't know if it did it in less than a second or if it did it in one second, but whatever it was, the amount of distance that it traveled is impossible with the laws of physics as we understand them.

01:58:50.000 Could they see it...

01:58:52.000 Could they see it with the naked eye as well?

01:58:55.000 Yes.

01:58:55.000 They can see it with the naked eye.

01:58:56.000 Is this a longer video?

01:58:56.000 They saw it under the water.

01:58:57.000 Yes.

01:58:58.000 You can see the video.

01:58:59.000 You can see the thing on video.

01:59:00.000 You can see the thing on video move off.

01:59:02.000 You can see that it's actively jamming radar.

01:59:04.000 You can see that they're trying to track it and stay with it, but it's moving too fast.

01:59:09.000 See, there's something they said recently that made me think, oh, that might be man-made.

01:59:12.000 And I forget, it was something to do with compromising national security.

01:59:15.000 Whatever the quote was, I was like, that sounds like something that's man-made, and they're worried they'll compromise something that they've created.

01:59:21.000 I know what you're saying, but here's the thing.

01:59:23.000 Whatever it is, someone made.

01:59:26.000 If it's not man, then it's something from another planet.

01:59:29.000 Maybe it is man-made.

01:59:30.000 Maybe it is some project that the government has.

01:59:33.000 But whatever it is...

01:59:34.000 It's something that moves at an insane speed that we're not capable of understanding in terms of what the average person who understands propulsion and engines and combustion.

01:59:45.000 All those people.

01:59:46.000 Well, when pilots say stuff, I listen to it because they understand those things.

01:59:50.000 For me, I don't know how things are supposed to move, but they do.

01:59:53.000 So when they're confused by something, that's what got me interested, was when the Timers did the article on those.

01:59:58.000 So I really started going...

02:00:00.000 I started watching and reading, and I'm like, I want to believe.

02:00:04.000 I just can't find anything that doesn't have a gap that I can't cross.

02:00:08.000 Well, you should talk to Fravor. 0.97

02:00:09.000 He's a fucking rock-solid guy. 0.94

02:00:11.000 It's very compelling when you talk to him in person, because he doesn't want to have anything to do with publicity. 0.98

02:00:16.000 He's not interested at all.

02:00:17.000 He wanted to tell his story because he felt like they're not being honest about it, and that people...

02:00:22.000 We really should know that there's some things that we don't understand and that these guys that are down in San Diego that were at this Air Force base, they were seeing these things fairly recently before his experience.

02:00:34.000 They had seen one in the last couple weeks, I think it was.

02:00:37.000 And then they find them on the East Coast, too.

02:00:39.000 Same thing.

02:00:40.000 And they move in the same way that Bob Lazar described these things that he worked on Area S4. The same way.

02:00:47.000 Where there's something called Element 115 that Bob Lazar described in the late 80s, early 90s.

02:00:54.000 They didn't even know it was real until 2013. He was describing it long before it was ever proven to be an actionable thing.

02:01:02.000 Long before they ever created it with a particle accelerator.

02:01:06.000 Again, I'm basing this only on opinion.

02:01:09.000 I have no facts for this.

02:01:11.000 When I listened to him, my first thought was, after these things that don't line up, oh, he took somebody's story.

02:01:18.000 What he's saying is somehow true, but he's telling somebody else's story.

02:01:22.000 And that may be a total lie, but that's just what my head told me, was because he knows so much, and yet, how do they make your education disappear?

02:01:31.000 Not hard.

02:01:32.000 Not hard in the 1980s.

02:01:33.000 I still can't see it.

02:01:34.000 People that went to school with him have talked about it.

02:01:36.000 That's what I want to hear from, people who went to school with him.

02:01:38.000 Well, they have records of people that went to school with him who talked about it.

02:01:42.000 That's what I want to hear.

02:01:42.000 Also, they have records of people that worked with him at Los Alamos Labs.

02:01:45.000 They've talked about it.

02:01:46.000 Have they talked publicly?

02:01:48.000 Because that's what I haven't heard.

02:01:49.000 They've talked to George Knapp.

02:01:51.000 I know that.

02:01:52.000 I want to hear who these people are.

02:01:54.000 Not in a quiz, but I want it to be true. 0.98

02:01:56.000 Like, I want people to go out and go, yeah, he was in my fucking, my class. 0.94

02:01:59.000 I know the guy. 0.92

02:01:59.000 Well, he even talked about it on the podcast, where he went back and found these guys that he worked at the lab with. 0.92

02:02:04.000 He worked at Los Alamos Lab, for sure.

02:02:07.000 And he worked on top-secret nuclear projects.

02:02:09.000 And he worked in propulsion.

02:02:11.000 And that's one of the reasons why they sent him to this Area S4, because he put a jet engine in a Honda in the 1980s. 0.99

02:02:18.000 And, you know, the guy's a fucking super genius.

02:02:21.000 And so when he did this, they were like, well, this guy has a very intense understanding of combustion engines and propulsion and all these different things that he's creating. 0.98

02:02:30.000 And so they're like, let's see if this guy can crack this crazy nut.

02:02:33.000 Yeah.

02:02:34.000 And so they were just bringing scientists to try to get a different perspective on these crafts.

02:02:38.000 And the one that he was working on, or one of them that he's working on, they said that they had found in an archaeological dig.

02:02:44.000 That's where it gets really crazy.

02:02:46.000 Like, they found this thing.

02:02:47.000 What he was working on?

02:02:49.000 What he read was that I think?

02:03:12.000 Aliens came down here and did experiments with lower hominids.

02:03:17.000 They did experiments with primates and added their DNA and manipulated the DNA to create human beings.

02:03:24.000 And it's one of the reasons why, if you see, like, the only thing that's like us is dogs.

02:03:34.000 We're good to go. 1.00

02:03:51.000 Could fuck Bridget the Midget, right? 1.00

02:03:53.000 They're the same thing. 1.00

02:03:55.000 Or a tiny little Asian girl. 1.00

02:03:56.000 A giant man who doesn't look anything like that.

02:03:59.000 We look so different.

02:04:01.000 Some of us are red hairs.

02:04:02.000 Some of us are Asian.

02:04:03.000 We vary so much.

02:04:06.000 We're almost like dogs in that way.

02:04:08.000 And we know that dogs are a product of manipulation.

02:04:11.000 We have manipulated dogs and turned them into what they are through selective breeding and through...

02:04:18.000 All the, you know, the different methods they use to try to achieve, you know, whatever a bulldog is or whatever a collie is. 1.00

02:04:27.000 That's why I hate fucking French bulldogs, by the way. 1.00

02:04:29.000 Why? 1.00

02:04:30.000 Because they can't breathe.

02:04:31.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:31.000 I feel that we've created this thing that you need to put a stick in its mouth.

02:04:34.000 It's fucking vicious. 1.00

02:04:35.000 It's sad. 1.00

02:04:36.000 Well, even English bulldogs, those fat boys with those... 0.65

02:04:39.000 Yeah. 0.67

02:04:41.000 They're always lying down.

02:04:42.000 They can't breathe.

02:04:43.000 Well, even my dog, you just, you met Marshall.

02:04:45.000 He's, like, that used to be a wolf.

02:04:49.000 Wolves are what all dogs come from.

02:04:51.000 All dogs.

02:04:52.000 Even collies.

02:04:54.000 Even chihuahuas.

02:04:55.000 The origin of all those animals is a wolf.

02:04:58.000 So we took a wolf and we slowly turned it in to whatever a sheepdog is. 0.99

02:05:04.000 We slowly turned it in to whatever a fucking shibu inu is. 0.98

02:05:08.000 All these different dog species. 0.99

02:05:09.000 They all emanate from wolves.

02:05:11.000 We didn't even know that until just a few decades ago.

02:05:14.000 When they started doing...

02:05:16.000 DNA scans of dogs.

02:05:18.000 They thought they were going to find all these wild canids and all these different things that are the origin of dogs, the root of dogs.

02:05:24.000 But no, it's not.

02:05:25.000 It's all wolves.

02:05:26.000 Everything came from a wolf.

02:05:27.000 I have a Bob Lazar question.

02:05:29.000 I don't know enough about it to convince you otherwise, but I just don't.

02:05:32.000 But I'm kind of hoping you can convince me.

02:05:35.000 If they made the school records disappear, why do they leave the The records that we just saw from that place.

02:05:42.000 They didn't know they were there.

02:05:44.000 That's somebody who had a copy of the registry for that place.

02:05:48.000 Someone who worked there during the same time he did had a copy of the registry.

02:05:52.000 Dude, they didn't just eliminate his social security number. 0.99

02:05:57.000 They eliminated a lot of shit. 0.99

02:05:59.000 Dude, in the 1980s, they can make you effectively disappear. 1.00

02:06:02.000 Yeah, I'm sure they can.

02:06:04.000 I mean, in the 80s, paper trails were a little bit different.

02:06:06.000 Yeah.

02:06:07.000 But it just, I can't get beyond the two degrees.

02:06:11.000 And again, I'm sure I've heard him interviewed.

02:06:13.000 He's a very compelling guy.

02:06:17.000 The two degrees are not hard.

02:06:20.000 That's not hard to get past.

02:06:22.000 That's not hard to eliminate.

02:06:23.000 What's hard is understanding all the things he understands when it comes to science without an education.

02:06:28.000 The way he talks about it.

02:06:30.000 Have you ever seen the videos where he's describing it in the late 80s?

02:06:33.000 It's exactly the same as he describes it now.

02:06:36.000 Exactly the same.

02:06:36.000 No variation whatsoever.

02:06:38.000 If you tell a story 40 years ago and then I ask you again today to tell me that same story, Most bullshitters are going to have some holes in that story and change it.

02:06:48.000 It doesn't mean he's telling the truth, but he's been insanely consistent.

02:06:52.000 I would almost think, too, that a lot of times truth tellers have things change.

02:06:55.000 That's why eyewitness testimony is so unreliable, because even a truth teller will make mistakes over time.

02:07:01.000 If it's a story that I've created, I think I'm less likely to forget details if I've created it because I have a beginning, middle, and end to it.

02:07:08.000 Right, but it's very complicated what he's saying.

02:07:10.000 Yeah.

02:07:11.000 What he's saying is very complicated in the descriptions of them, descriptions of these crafts and the way the propulsion system works and the fact that it uses this incredibly dense element that doesn't even exist on Earth in, you know, 1989 or whatever it was, but now they've found actually is a real thing.

02:07:28.000 Like, that element 115, that was, people were saying that's science fiction, you're making things up.

02:07:33.000 But now that they have created it in particle accelerators, they're like, oh, Okay, this is a real thing.

02:07:39.000 Now, what if there's a planet that has a completely different atmosphere, completely different relationship with its star and element 115 is common?

02:07:46.000 Like, they find things in asteroids all the time that are very, very rare on Earth, but very common in space.

02:07:54.000 It's one of the ways that they know whether or not we've been impacted.

02:07:57.000 Like, one of the ways they know that the Yucatan was hit with this gigantic asteroid that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago is a layer of iridium at 65 million years.

02:08:07.000 Iridium is very, very rare on Earth, but very common in space.

02:08:12.000 And this layer of it, this dense layer at 65 million years ago, shows that that's when it was hit.

02:08:19.000 That this giant chunk of space rock slammed into the Earth and killed everything.

02:08:25.000 Yeah.

02:08:26.000 I know.

02:08:26.000 Look, I like the fact you're skeptical.

02:08:28.000 I'm very skeptical.

02:08:29.000 I wish I was more.

02:08:29.000 And I don't want to be.

02:08:31.000 Because I really want to believe it.

02:08:33.000 Because it also gives us a hope that we have some kind of a possible immortality somewhere. 0.71

02:08:38.000 Believe me, I fucking like Ray Kurzweil as much as anybody does.

02:08:40.000 He gives us all hope. 0.94

02:08:42.000 But I keep getting to a sticking point.

02:08:45.000 Every single time, there's something I can't get beyond when it comes to that conspiracy.

02:08:51.000 I know what you mean.

02:08:52.000 Look, I thought it was all horseshit for a long time. 0.97

02:08:55.000 I was mocking it all for a long time. 0.96

02:08:58.000 And then Jeremy Corbell's documentary really flipped the switch with me. 0.98

02:09:02.000 I was like, God, Damn it, is this real? 0.75

02:09:03.000 And then getting to know Jeremy and talking to him and then getting to know Bob, having dinner with Bob and then getting Bob to come here and sit down. 0.97

02:09:12.000 It was very hard to get him to come in.

02:09:14.000 Yeah.

02:09:14.000 Very hard.

02:09:15.000 Very hard.

02:09:16.000 He was super nervous.

02:09:17.000 He was getting migraines.

02:09:19.000 He didn't want the scrutiny. 0.98

02:09:22.000 And then, meanwhile, while he's doing Jeremy's documentary, they fucking raid his business. 0.98

02:09:27.000 They raid his business and go through all his stuff. 0.98

02:09:29.000 The FBI did.

02:09:30.000 They caught it all on video.

02:09:32.000 This is not just a regular guy.

02:09:35.000 They're going through all of his data.

02:09:38.000 They're going through all of his emails.

02:09:41.000 They confiscated his computers.

02:09:43.000 They didn't find anything.

02:09:44.000 He's free and clear.

02:09:45.000 But they were looking for Element 115, he thinks.

02:09:48.000 Because he had some, apparently.

02:09:50.000 And they had done some tests, and there's a video of it with George Knapp, where they've got fog.

02:09:56.000 They're using some sort of a fog machine, and they're showing how this gives off a certain field that makes it almost impossible to grab and touch, and this fog is rejected by this field.

02:10:09.000 And what they're saying about that element is, and I'm going to butcher this, I don't really understand the science, but...

02:10:16.000 This gravity intensifier, this gravity multiplier, whatever the fuck it is, gravity projection thing, with that 115, it distorts gravity.

02:10:24.000 And that's how these things are able to move through these insane speeds.

02:10:30.000 And the way he described it is...

02:10:32.000 That it's like, if you had a real cushy mattress, a real soft mattress, and you put a massive bowling ball in the center of the mattress, everything would just go zoom and bend around the bowling ball.

02:10:44.000 Well, that's what Element 115, with that craft and that propulsion system, does to space-time.

02:10:51.000 It bends gravity.

02:10:53.000 If it bends space time, it goes through things.

02:10:55.000 I don't know the answer to this.

02:10:56.000 I've heard of that. 0.98

02:10:57.000 Doesn't everything else get fucked up? 0.96

02:10:59.000 If you're bending space time, doesn't everything else just kind of come closer together? 0.97

02:11:03.000 I don't know.

02:11:04.000 I don't know.

02:11:04.000 Maybe it doesn't.

02:11:06.000 Maybe it does.

02:11:07.000 Maybe it doesn't.

02:11:07.000 I don't know.

02:11:08.000 Maybe it just does it with whatever's around it.

02:11:11.000 And maybe we don't understand how space—we know that gravity bends things, right?

02:11:17.000 It bends light.

02:11:18.000 That's why, you know, when you're looking at the sun, you can actually see things.

02:11:23.000 They can see things that are actually behind the sun.

02:11:26.000 Because of the massive gravity of the sun, because it's so enormous.

02:11:30.000 It actually manipulates light.

02:11:33.000 It bends it, so you can see things that are actually behind it.

02:11:37.000 I want to know...

02:11:38.000 Have you had Neil deGrasse Tyson on?

02:11:40.000 A bunch of times.

02:11:41.000 Yeah, he's fascinating and a skeptic.

02:11:45.000 And he's an interesting skeptic because he can base it in what he knows or believes scientifically.

02:11:51.000 Right.

02:11:51.000 But a guy, Troy, on our show went at it with him.

02:11:54.000 Who went at it?

02:11:55.000 Troy.

02:11:56.000 Who's Troy?

02:11:58.000 He's a DJ and he's a guy who works our computers.

02:12:02.000 Wait, wait, wait.

02:12:02.000 Troy went at it with Neil deGrasse Tyson?

02:12:04.000 Oh, yeah.

02:12:04.000 About what?

02:12:05.000 Because he thinks he's a full of shit government agent and hiding UFOs. 1.00

02:12:09.000 Oh, no. 1.00

02:12:09.000 That was great, though. 1.00

02:12:10.000 It was a fun video.

02:12:11.000 Oh, no.

02:12:12.000 But Troy thinks that Neil is an agent.

02:12:14.000 An agent?

02:12:14.000 Not an agent, but I mean like an agent as in representing the point of view of the government.

02:12:20.000 Is he one of those flat earth guys?

02:12:21.000 No, not at all.

02:12:22.000 What does he think?

02:12:23.000 He thinks that there's UFOs.

02:12:25.000 There's a lot of things we're not being told.

02:12:28.000 But it was a great video.

02:12:29.000 But if they're not being told, do you think that they tell astronomers and astrophysicists?

02:12:34.000 Do you think they tell guys like Neil deGrasse Tyson?

02:12:36.000 Like, why would they pull him aside?

02:12:37.000 Hey, guy who works at the Hayden Planetarium, we're going to give you secrets, and we definitely want to make sure you don't tell them to people on the Opie and Anthony show.

02:12:46.000 Yeah, Troy thinks that he knows.

02:12:48.000 Really?

02:12:49.000 Yeah.

02:12:49.000 Come on.

02:12:50.000 No, it's legit.

02:12:50.000 Yeah, he really does.

02:12:51.000 Okay.

02:12:52.000 All right, Troy.

02:12:52.000 But we're always going back and forth.

02:12:54.000 Was it entertaining for Neil, or did he get weird...

02:12:56.000 He was okay with it.

02:12:58.000 We had Neil on UFC Unfiltered and him and Matt wrestled.

02:13:02.000 It was really funny because Neil is such a big dude and people forget that he was a heavyweight wrestler.

02:13:07.000 Where did they wrestle?

02:13:08.000 On the floor.

02:13:09.000 No, they were talking about some kind of a choke or something or a submission.

02:13:15.000 There's a video of it?

02:13:16.000 Yeah, and I filmed it.

02:13:17.000 And I think he was trying to show...

02:13:21.000 Matt something.

02:13:22.000 Yeah, he was a legit wrestler.

02:13:23.000 He was.

02:13:24.000 He was stacked when he was young.

02:13:25.000 You ever see him?

02:13:26.000 No.

02:13:27.000 Dude, pull a picture of Neil deGrasse Tyson when he was in college. 0.99

02:13:30.000 Dude, he was fucking jacked. 0.99

02:13:32.000 Like a UFC fighter. 0.99

02:13:34.000 Yeah.

02:13:35.000 He was built.

02:13:35.000 Like, really well built.

02:13:37.000 Matt did put him in something that he was unable to, I think.

02:13:40.000 Of course.

02:13:41.000 Yeah.

02:13:41.000 Matt's a world champion.

02:13:42.000 Neil wasn't sure if he could do it.

02:13:44.000 What?

02:13:44.000 I don't know if Neil was as familiar with Matt.

02:13:47.000 Oh, good lord.

02:13:48.000 Look at him. 0.71

02:13:49.000 Look how jacked he is.

02:13:50.000 Dude.

02:13:50.000 Jesus.

02:13:51.000 Come on, man. 1.00

02:13:52.000 He's fucking jacked. 1.00

02:13:53.000 Look at those shoulders. 1.00

02:13:55.000 He's a sweetheart of a guy.

02:13:57.000 I really like him.

02:13:57.000 I love Neil.

02:13:58.000 Yeah, he's a really...

02:13:59.000 Look at that picture up there, up in the left-hand corner, right above that one.

02:14:02.000 Fascinating.

02:14:03.000 Yeah, look at that.

02:14:03.000 Look at that stud.

02:14:06.000 It looks like the Mod Squad.

02:14:07.000 It does.

02:14:08.000 Isn't that amazing?

02:14:09.000 Him as a college student.

02:14:11.000 Wow.

02:14:11.000 I would never know that's him.

02:14:13.000 I know. 1.00

02:14:14.000 Look at the fucking sideburns. 1.00

02:14:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:15.000 Sweet. 1.00

02:14:16.000 Very 70s.

02:14:17.000 Sweet.

02:14:18.000 Don't you wish you could grow afro? 1.00

02:14:19.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:14:19.000 I wish I could grow any real facial hair. 1.00

02:14:22.000 It just doesn't look right. 0.98

02:14:23.000 It looks wispy and shitty.

02:14:25.000 It's getting gray now anyway, so I keep it short.

02:14:27.000 But eventually it's all going to come off.

02:14:28.000 Yeah, I keep mine short, my beard hair.

02:14:32.000 But when I grow it out, it's depressing.

02:14:34.000 It's all white.

02:14:35.000 Yeah, me too.

02:14:35.000 I have like little...

02:14:36.000 I mean, you could see this.

02:14:38.000 I have some now.

02:14:39.000 But like all around my size, it's all white now.

02:14:42.000 It's a sign of death.

02:14:43.000 Do you care about it, though?

02:14:44.000 It bugs me, man. 0.99

02:14:46.000 I live with it, and again, it beats dying, but I'm fucking a little like, God damn, man, you're 51, and you're not going backwards. 0.99

02:14:54.000 It's not going backwards. 0.99

02:14:55.000 I don't enjoy it.

02:14:57.000 This is great.

02:14:57.000 I'm getting old.

02:14:58.000 I don't, but perspective, I'm an extremely fortunate person.

02:15:04.000 Extremely.

02:15:05.000 Insanely, preposterously bad.

02:15:08.000 Blessed and fortunate. 1.00

02:15:09.000 I can't complain about shit. 0.99

02:15:12.000 I'm a lucky, lucky person. 1.00

02:15:14.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:15:15.000 Yeah, you get to, I mean, people say, oh, you get to do what you love, but I think about the shit I complain about, and it's luxury problems. 0.97

02:15:20.000 They're problems because I'm doing the job I want to do. 0.98

02:15:23.000 Yeah, first world problems.

02:15:24.000 I have three awesome jobs, you know?

02:15:26.000 I mean, my side job is the UFC. I'm the color commentator for the UFC. That's my side gig.

02:15:31.000 I just do that for fun.

02:15:33.000 I can't wait for Ngannou Rosenstreich.

02:15:36.000 I can't wait.

02:15:37.000 My goodness!

02:15:38.000 Can't wait for that fight.

02:15:40.000 When is that scheduled for?

02:15:41.000 I want to say it's April.

02:15:42.000 Tickets just went on sale.

02:15:44.000 March 28th.

02:15:44.000 March 28th?

02:15:45.000 Okay.

02:15:46.000 Oh my goodness, that's a terrifying fight. 0.99

02:15:48.000 Rosenstreich, what he did to Alistair Overeem's face with that fucking leaping right hook. 0.99

02:15:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:52.000 When he split his fucking mouth open, that guy is a fucking tank. 1.00

02:15:57.000 And what was more impressive than anything to me in that fight was not that he knocked him out with the last 10 seconds to go, but that he absorbed all the shots that Alistair hit him with. 1.00

02:16:06.000 And he kept pressing forward, almost like he was invulnerable to him.

02:16:09.000 I never saw anybody do that to Alistair.

02:16:11.000 He was losing that fight, though.

02:16:12.000 I think Alistair was winning that fight, yeah.

02:16:14.000 Oh, yes.

02:16:14.000 Alistair was winning that fight, for sure.

02:16:16.000 Rosenstreich is a fucking tank, man. 1.00

02:16:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:16:18.000 He's a tank, and he's a legit 265, right? 1.00

02:16:22.000 A natural 265, as is Ngannou. 0.99

02:16:25.000 So I think this is the first time Ngannou has ever fought a guy who is a real world-class kickboxer, who is also his size naturally, and is also a vicious knockout puncher.

02:16:37.000 I still think Ngannou hits harder.

02:16:39.000 I still think Ngannou's faster.

02:16:41.000 But...

02:16:41.000 If I was in Rosenstreich's corner, what I would be concentrating on is leg kicks in particular because Junior Dos Santos, even though Ngannou starched him in the first round, Ngannou starches almost everybody, but Junior was able to get off a lot of leg kicks early in the round and was able to at least affect him in some way.

02:17:01.000 I was like, oh, okay, this could be an issue of a real good kickboxer.

02:17:06.000 Now, we didn't see Rosenstreich use that sort of strategy against Alistair.

02:17:12.000 He was really looking to put hands on Alistair.

02:17:15.000 He threw some kicks, but really, I think if he adjusts with Ngannou and tries to move away from the big shots and chop the legs, he's a better kickboxer.

02:17:26.000 He's got real experience with Muay Thai.

02:17:30.000 He's also a ruthless knockout striker, and he has a crazy chin. 0.93

02:17:35.000 Rosenstreich has a crazy chin, man.

02:17:36.000 Didn't you feel bad, though, for Overeem at the end of that?

02:17:39.000 It was almost like he kind of just jumped up and walked off like it was a walk-off home run, and the ref was like, alright.

02:17:45.000 No, dude, his face was hanging off.

02:17:47.000 So you think they should have stopped it?

02:17:48.000 Yes.

02:17:49.000 Dude, his cut went all the way up to his nose.

02:17:52.000 If Rosenstreich punched him more, it would have probably fallen off.

02:17:56.000 And then they would have had to stitch up, take a patch off the canvas and wash it off and glue it back to his face.

02:18:02.000 Dude, he was done.

02:18:03.000 Just find that KO. Find Rosenstreich, KO's Alistair over him.

02:18:09.000 The UFC does a thing that I really wish they wouldn't do.

02:18:12.000 And I don't understand the thought process behind it.

02:18:15.000 And this thing is, they don't show finishes online.

02:18:19.000 You can't see the finishes.

02:18:20.000 Like, you'll see a guy pulling off of the guy.

02:18:24.000 Like, when they stop the fight, he walks away like this.

02:18:26.000 But they don't show the actual finish.

02:18:28.000 What do you think that is?

02:18:30.000 Poor thinking?

02:18:31.000 I just...

02:18:32.000 I don't...

02:18:33.000 Show it!

02:18:34.000 It's exciting!

02:18:35.000 People want to see it.

02:18:36.000 It'll make more people watch it.

02:18:37.000 Is that to get you to fight past your thing?

02:18:38.000 There it is.

02:18:38.000 Watch this.

02:18:39.000 Watch this.

02:18:39.000 Boom!

02:18:40.000 Yeah.

02:18:40.000 I mean, look, dude.

02:18:41.000 You can see it flop up.

02:18:42.000 But watch him go down.

02:18:43.000 Look at that.

02:18:44.000 See that?

02:18:45.000 Stop the fight.

02:18:46.000 Is that it?

02:18:47.000 At the end of it?

02:18:48.000 Okay, I wanted it to play out more because you could see how he's basically helpless.

02:18:53.000 I wonder if they do that to get people to go to Fight Pass.

02:18:55.000 Like maybe if we show you part of it, it's like an automatic promotion for Fight Pass.

02:18:59.000 I get this to thank you.

02:19:00.000 I can't tell.

02:19:01.000 I can't imagine that's true.

02:19:03.000 I think Fight Pass is awesome.

02:19:05.000 They should, you know, just go to it if you're a fan.

02:19:07.000 Yeah.

02:19:07.000 I mean, Fight Pass is great.

02:19:09.000 And it's not just for Fight Pass.

02:19:10.000 It's got, you know, Quintet, Eddie Bravo's, Combat Jiu Jitsu's on that, a bunch of different Muay Thai organizations on that, all the UFC's. 0.99

02:19:19.000 Fight Pass is the shit. 0.98

02:19:20.000 Okay, here it is. 1.00

02:19:20.000 Look. 1.00

02:19:22.000 There he's a little bit, he's wobbly there.

02:19:24.000 But by then, wouldn't that have been...

02:19:26.000 Boom! 0.99

02:19:27.000 How much time was left when that happened?

02:19:29.000 Boom! 0.99

02:19:31.000 See, he walked away.

02:19:32.000 He walked away.

02:19:34.000 If he had jumped on him and they stopped it, I would get it.

02:19:36.000 But you could see Dan touched him.

02:19:40.000 Dan touched him.

02:19:41.000 Watch Dan touch Rosenstreichs.

02:19:45.000 He touches him there.

02:19:46.000 Yeah, he walked away and then he waved it off after Alistair walked.

02:19:49.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:19:50.000 That's a good point.

02:19:51.000 It's a real good point.

02:19:54.000 Maybe the cut was so nasty.

02:19:56.000 It was so nasty.

02:19:57.000 Interesting.

02:19:59.000 Mere seconds from the final bell.

02:20:00.000 That's why it made me feel bad for Olverick.

02:20:02.000 Because if he went down to hit him and he stopped it, I'd be like, he had to stop it.

02:20:05.000 Right. 0.99

02:20:05.000 But him walking away might have fucked him out of the wind. 0.99

02:20:07.000 Show that one more time. 0.99

02:20:08.000 One more time.

02:20:09.000 Let me see that one more time.

02:20:10.000 Watch this.

02:20:10.000 He's moving away.

02:20:11.000 Hands down.

02:20:12.000 Gets caught.

02:20:12.000 Boom.

02:20:13.000 Gets dropped.

02:20:15.000 Yeah.

02:20:15.000 No, you're right.

02:20:16.000 Got right back up.

02:20:17.000 No.

02:20:18.000 Actually, it's a good point.

02:20:19.000 Okay.

02:20:19.000 Nah, I changed my mind.

02:20:23.000 I changed my mind.

02:20:24.000 When I saw it, I was just so stunned that he caught him in the last couple of seconds.

02:20:28.000 I know.

02:20:28.000 But it really does prove that you have to watch the fight until the end.

02:20:32.000 It was an exciting way for a fight.

02:20:33.000 I mean, it was like Rodriguez, Korean zombie. 0.99

02:20:37.000 When a fight ends like that, how do you ever watch a fight?

02:20:40.000 You can't not watch until the end.

02:20:42.000 That elbow was insane.

02:20:44.000 That elbow was insane. 0.88

02:20:46.000 The way he threw that, like a look-away elbow, and the Korean zombie just flatlines. 1.00

02:20:51.000 You're like, holy shit. 0.98

02:20:52.000 Wasn't Rodriguez losing that fight, too, if I remember? 1.00

02:20:54.000 Yeah, he was.

02:20:55.000 Yes.

02:20:56.000 And then the Korean zombie just knocked out Frankie Edgar. 0.99

02:20:59.000 He's an animal. 0.99

02:21:00.000 Yeah, he is. 1.00

02:21:00.000 The Korean zombie's a tough motherfucker. 1.00

02:21:02.000 He had to take two years off to serve the South Korean army. 1.00

02:21:06.000 Yeah, military, yeah.

02:21:06.000 Military makes you...

02:21:07.000 It's mandatory.

02:21:09.000 It's like Israel. 0.95

02:21:09.000 You have to do mandatory military time. 0.95

02:21:12.000 And your thing with that...

02:21:14.000 Have you talked to Stephen A. Smith?

02:21:17.000 Yeah.

02:21:17.000 No.

02:21:18.000 I like the way you handled that.

02:21:20.000 You're a really honest dude.

02:21:21.000 And you didn't get caught up in the fact that he liked you and he's a big name in sports.

02:21:26.000 I love how you spoke about it.

02:21:28.000 Listen, I'm very good friends with Cowboy.

02:21:32.000 I love that guy.

02:21:33.000 Love him.

02:21:34.000 He's awesome.

02:21:35.000 He's not a quitter.

02:21:36.000 He doesn't quit.

02:21:37.000 He got smashed.

02:21:38.000 He didn't quit.

02:21:39.000 That's my only observation. 1.00

02:21:42.000 And Stephen A. Smith, his thing is talking shit. 1.00

02:21:47.000 He's a master at being this entertaining guy who talks shit about sports. 1.00

02:21:51.000 And I don't think he's a bad guy. 0.99

02:21:54.000 I just think that's how he butters his bread.

02:21:57.000 That's his thing. 1.00

02:21:58.000 That's how he talks shit. 0.99

02:22:00.000 But fighters, I feel like it's a different thing. 0.99

02:22:03.000 It's not just a sport.

02:22:05.000 It's a sport where you're literally risking your life.

02:22:08.000 Knock on wood, we've been very lucky in the UFC. We haven't had any loss of life, but it's 100% possible, and it definitely has happened in other organizations, and it happens in boxing every year.

02:22:18.000 And if it happened in the UFC, it would be horrendous.

02:22:21.000 And if it happened at Cowboy, if Cowboy died in the hospital that night, and believe me, that's possible.

02:22:28.000 Cowboy had a broken orbital bone, and he had a broken nose, and he got beaten down by one of the biggest punchers in that division.

02:22:39.000 In 155 pounds, really, but the way Conor cracked him, like, Conor, like, I don't care who you are.

02:22:45.000 He hits you like that.

02:22:45.000 You're in real big trouble.

02:22:46.000 He fractured Cowboy's face.

02:22:48.000 If Cowboy died in the hospital after Stephen A. Smith or someone else was chastising him and mocking him and saying he quit...

02:22:56.000 He folded, yeah.

02:22:57.000 Imagine.

02:22:58.000 Well, he didn't do well.

02:23:00.000 He's got a point there.

02:23:02.000 Cowboy did not perform well.

02:23:05.000 And the reason why he didn't perform well is because Conor performed spectacularly.

02:23:10.000 That's what fighting is all about.

02:23:12.000 Jose Aldo, who was one of the greatest fighters that's ever done it, and at the time was the greatest featherweight of all time, Conor flatlined him in 14 seconds with one punch.

02:23:23.000 That doesn't mean that Jose Aldo didn't show up or Jose Aldo quit. 0.97

02:23:27.000 It means Conor has a fucking brick for a fist and he throws it perfect. 0.99

02:23:32.000 He's got massive power. 1.00

02:23:34.000 Massive power and explosive speed. 0.97

02:23:36.000 And he's a killer man. 0.98

02:23:38.000 Conor McGregor. 1.00

02:23:39.000 This motherfucker right here. 1.00

02:23:41.000 He's a goddamn killer. 1.00

02:23:43.000 I like him more than I used to, too. 1.00

02:23:45.000 I was never a Conor fan.

02:23:46.000 I liked him more after I saw him lose and how he handled a loss.

02:23:50.000 And I just liked him.

02:23:52.000 I watched him talk, and I'm like, yeah, I kind of like him.

02:23:55.000 And it seems like this fight with Cowboy, he went into it differently than he has publicly in the past.

02:24:00.000 And maybe that's just because he likes him, and in the next fight with Habib, he'll be the same as he was.

02:24:04.000 But I like him more now than I ever liked him.

02:24:06.000 He definitely handled himself in the public better.

02:24:09.000 But I also think...

02:24:12.000 Honestly, he probably didn't feel like he had to play games with Cowboy.

02:24:17.000 He felt like Cowboy's style was tailor-made for him.

02:24:21.000 He felt like Cowboy was stiff and he was going to be able to take him out and catch him and hurt him.

02:24:25.000 And he did.

02:24:25.000 He was right.

02:24:26.000 He probably didn't feel like he needed to play psychological games.

02:24:29.000 When you're fighting a guy like Khabib, Khabib is such a destroyer. 1.00

02:24:31.000 He's such a fucking destroyer. 0.98

02:24:34.000 I mean, I have seen him take guys with extensive wrestling backgrounds, guys like Abel Trujillo, just ragdoll him. 0.99

02:24:40.000 Just throw him around, man.

02:24:42.000 Michael Johnson, throw him around.

02:24:43.000 It's like you have no business in there with him. 0.99

02:24:45.000 Just beats the fuck out of people. 1.00

02:24:47.000 Mauls him. 0.97

02:24:48.000 Rafael dos Anjos, world champion.

02:24:50.000 Grabs him, throws him to the ground.

02:24:52.000 Helpless. 1.00

02:24:52.000 You can't do shit. 1.00

02:24:53.000 It's claustrophobic looking. 0.99

02:24:55.000 Watching it, like, I think, if I remember the Michael Johnson fight, the wrist control where he's just...

02:25:00.000 His arm tied behind his back, and he's punched him in the face.

02:25:03.000 He said, quit, quit, quit.

02:25:05.000 You know I deserve title shot.

02:25:06.000 Quit.

02:25:07.000 You know my favorite one was talking about Conor McGregor, and he's like, send me a location.

02:25:11.000 Send me a location.

02:25:13.000 Where are you?

02:25:13.000 Send me a location.

02:25:14.000 He's like, dude, I'm coming for you. 0.99

02:25:16.000 He's a monster.

02:25:18.000 There's only two guys in the sport that are world champions, destroyers at that level who are undefeated. 0.57

02:25:26.000 One of them's Jon Jones, the other one's Khabib. 0.96

02:25:28.000 No one else is like that, where they just smash everybody. 0.99

02:25:31.000 Jon Jones has one bullshit loss where the referee decided that the elbows were illegal, and the referee was doing his job But it's nonsense. 1.00

02:25:40.000 That fucking elbow rule is stupid. 1.00

02:25:43.000 He smashed that guy. 1.00

02:25:44.000 I wonder if that, in a way, too, that loss was years ago.

02:25:46.000 I wonder if that, because so many guys are undefeated, and all of a sudden they lose one, and then they lose a couple.

02:25:53.000 You wonder sometimes if an early loss like that takes the pressure of being undefeated.

02:25:56.000 Like, you know you've never been beaten, but you still have that 1L, so there's not that whole thing on your back, like, I can't lose, I can't lose, I can't get that 1L. Well, John almost lost his last fight.

02:26:07.000 I want to see that Santos rematch more than I want to see Jones fight anybody. 0.98

02:26:11.000 Matt thinks I'm fucking crazy. 0.95

02:26:12.000 That's the fight I want to see. 0.99

02:26:13.000 I think if there was a Santos rematch, Jon Jones takes him down and beats the fuck out of him, if I had to guess.

02:26:18.000 I think Jon Jones decided to try to stand up with him.

02:26:21.000 And Brendan Schaub had an interesting take on it.

02:26:23.000 He said Jon's playing with his food.

02:26:25.000 He said he's bored.

02:26:26.000 He's just siding to kickbox with these guys.

02:26:28.000 But at the end of the day, after five rounds, there was a split decision.

02:26:32.000 One judge scored it in favor of Tiago Santos.

02:26:36.000 I don't necessarily agree.

02:26:38.000 I'm not saying I agree.

02:26:40.000 I watched the fight again last week, and it's a great fight.

02:26:45.000 I didn't score it, though.

02:26:46.000 You know, I just enjoyed it.

02:26:48.000 I think if you really want to score...

02:26:50.000 That's why I don't score fights when I'm watching them.

02:26:53.000 But sometimes you just know you don't have to score them.

02:26:55.000 Like if there's a bunch of knockdowns or someone beats the shit out of somebody.

02:26:58.000 It's clear, you know?

02:27:00.000 But...

02:27:01.000 That fight was not clear.

02:27:03.000 There was moments where Tiago Santos rocked John and hurt him.

02:27:07.000 When did he hurt him?

02:27:08.000 I know the leg kicks in the first round were really effective.

02:27:12.000 When did he hurt himself?

02:27:14.000 Was it at the end of the first round or in the second round?

02:27:15.000 I don't remember.

02:27:16.000 I'd have to go back and watch it again.

02:27:18.000 I think it was the second round.

02:27:19.000 I think we isolated it on the camera.

02:27:21.000 I was saying something's going on.

02:27:24.000 I'm noticing the way he's moving.

02:27:26.000 I've had two ACL blowouts, so I'm particularly sensitive when I see somebody moving funny on their knees.

02:27:32.000 And when I was seeing him do that, I'm like, something's going on.

02:27:35.000 And then the truck isolated a moment where you see his knee do this, where the knee, the bottom part of the knee pops forward.

02:27:43.000 That's almost always an ACL because there's an instability to it where it just gives out.

02:27:48.000 And that was like the second round. 1.00

02:27:50.000 It turned out, he blew out both fucking knees. 1.00

02:27:53.000 But at the end of the fight, both his knees were shot and he's still throwing bombs! 1.00

02:27:57.000 Yeah.

02:27:57.000 Haymakers!

02:27:58.000 And just looked like nothing was bothering him.

02:28:00.000 I mean, he's in there with the best guy in the light heavyweight division, unquestionably, ever.

02:28:05.000 And he got to a split decision on two blown out knees.

02:28:08.000 That's why I want to see a rematch with him.

02:28:10.000 I think he earned it.

02:28:11.000 I think that was, considering how he hurt himself, that's the fight I want to see is the rematch between Santos and Jones.

02:28:17.000 Although Jones might be heavyweight by the time he comes back.

02:28:19.000 Yeah, he's going to be a long time.

02:28:22.000 His knees, both knees are reconstructed. 0.99

02:28:24.000 I mean, he was walking with crazy crutches with both knees in braces and shit. 1.00

02:28:30.000 He's fucked. 1.00

02:28:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:28:31.000 And who knows if he's going to come back well.

02:28:34.000 You know, when you blow your knees out like that, man, that's no guarantee.

02:28:37.000 Because you're tearing the meniscus, so all the soft tissue that separates the two knees, the two bones, rather. 0.98

02:28:45.000 All that's been chewed up, so they had to do a meniscectomy or whatever the fuck they call it. 0.93

02:28:50.000 Menoscopy. 0.97

02:28:51.000 What do they call that?

02:28:52.000 It's a scope.

02:28:53.000 And how old is he?

02:28:54.000 But what is the actual operation called?

02:28:55.000 Is he 35?

02:28:56.000 Tiago?

02:28:57.000 Yeah.

02:28:57.000 I'm not sure.

02:28:59.000 I don't think he's that old.

02:29:00.000 He was a middleweight for a while, which is crazy.

02:29:03.000 David Branch stopped him at middleweight.

02:29:04.000 Guys beat him at middleweight.

02:29:06.000 I think he was just draining himself.

02:29:08.000 Cutting too much weight. 1.00

02:29:09.000 But he's a fucking dangerous puncher, man. 1.00

02:29:12.000 That's for sure. 1.00

02:29:12.000 And a real good striker. 1.00

02:29:14.000 And he fought disciplined in that fight, which is interesting.

02:29:17.000 He fought sneaky and disciplined.

02:29:19.000 Has anybody done that to Jones' legs before?

02:29:22.000 No.

02:29:22.000 I can't remember seeing anybody leg kick him that effectively.

02:29:25.000 Well, his leg kicks are devastating, too.

02:29:27.000 I know.

02:29:28.000 And John has those little tiny calves, too.

02:29:31.000 His body's crazy.

02:29:32.000 It's almost like a cartoon. 0.96

02:29:34.000 Because he's got these big-ass feet and this big, wide back.

02:29:38.000 But these calves are like my forearm. 0.66

02:29:41.000 It's weird.

02:29:41.000 Is that because he doesn't work them?

02:29:43.000 Genetics.

02:29:43.000 Or is it somebody who just won't build large ones?

02:29:46.000 No, it's just genetics. 0.98

02:29:47.000 But listen, it's a fucking perfect combat sports body. 0.98

02:29:50.000 Because he's so long. 0.99

02:29:52.000 And he's so strong.

02:29:53.000 It's not like he's skinny and weak. 0.81

02:29:55.000 He's thin and ridiculously strong. 1.00

02:29:58.000 Like when he tucked Daniel Cormier down, everybody was like, Holy fuck. 0.98

02:30:02.000 He just took down one of the best wrestlers to ever compete in MMA, and he did it in the first round, when both of them are fresh. 0.98

02:30:09.000 You're like, wow, John is strong.

02:30:13.000 You can see it when he gets a hold of guys.

02:30:14.000 He's the GOAT. He's the greatest light heavyweight of all time, and maybe the greatest fighter of all time.

02:30:20.000 The only guys that are close, in my mind, it's Mighty Mouse is one of them, Fedor is another one, but I think John has had better competition.

02:30:28.000 I think John's had the best competition.

02:30:30.000 Yeah, he has fought everybody.

02:30:32.000 And Cormier, I know, wants to fight Stipe, but a third fight with those...

02:30:36.000 I would love to see Cormier and Ghanu.

02:30:39.000 That's a fight that I would love to see.

02:30:40.000 It's never going to happen, but I would love to see that.

02:30:41.000 DC will never do it.

02:30:42.000 I don't want to see that.

02:30:43.000 I love DC. I don't want to see him fight that guy.

02:30:45.000 I always thought DC would, you know, because DC is so good at getting in.

02:30:49.000 I always had a feeling he'd be able to take him down.

02:30:51.000 Save it. 1.00

02:30:52.000 Save all that shit. 1.00

02:30:54.000 Save all that shit. 1.00

02:30:55.000 To me, that is the scariest man in MMA, is Francis. 1.00

02:30:59.000 He is, yeah.

02:31:00.000 The scariest.

02:31:01.000 When he punched Alistair over him, and Alistair over him was literally looking at the back of his heels, his head snapped back so far he could see his feet.

02:31:08.000 It was terrifying.

02:31:09.000 It was also what he just did to Junior and to Curtis Blades and to Kane after two losses.

02:31:15.000 Kane, yeah. 1.00

02:31:16.000 It was like, fuck. 1.00

02:31:17.000 He fixed whatever it was that he needed to fix. 1.00

02:31:19.000 Yeah.

02:31:20.000 Well, you know, those guys just couldn't stand with him.

02:31:22.000 The question is, like, what Stipe is that those guys aren't is, first of all, Stipe's an excellent wrestler.

02:31:27.000 He also is a world champion and the most accomplished world champion ever.

02:31:30.000 He's the first guy to ever defend the title.

02:31:32.000 I think he defended it three times or four times?

02:31:35.000 I think four in the fifth one is what he lost.

02:31:36.000 Four.

02:31:37.000 Four times.

02:31:38.000 Yeah.

02:31:39.000 Stipe's the most accomplished heavyweight champion of all time, and now he's won the title for a second time. 0.99

02:31:44.000 And the way he beat DC in the third fight, or the second fight, rather, with those left hooks to the body, it's like, God damn. 0.98

02:31:50.000 Those were nasty. 0.98

02:31:51.000 Third or fourth round, right?

02:31:52.000 Fourth round.

02:31:52.000 And again, he was, I think, losing that fight.

02:31:54.000 Just couldn't make it happen.

02:31:55.000 And DC was honest, though. 0.99

02:31:57.000 He said that, I like the idea of punching him in the face. 0.69

02:31:59.000 Like, he didn't want to just listen to his corner. 0.99

02:32:01.000 He felt too good to punch, and he just wanted to knock him out.

02:32:03.000 Well, he knocked him out in the first fight.

02:32:04.000 Yeah.

02:32:04.000 But I've...

02:32:05.000 Speculated that one of the reasons why he knocked him out in the first round, in the first fight, was two things.

02:32:11.000 One, it was a beautiful punch where he set it up while he was pummeling, and I don't think Stipe saw it coming.

02:32:20.000 I think it was a perfectly placed punch.

02:32:22.000 He hit him on the jaw perfectly.

02:32:24.000 And also, I think Stipe was probably still a little hurt from that Francis Ngannou fight. 0.99

02:32:31.000 Because Francis Ngannou and him went to war for five rounds, and particularly in the first two rounds, Francis hit Stipe with some fucking bombs. 0.96

02:32:40.000 Stipe weathered the storm, but it might have made him more susceptible to being knocked out. 0.99

02:32:45.000 Because of a couple of those shots he took.

02:32:47.000 Yeah, man.

02:32:47.000 When you get a fight where you get beat up like that, even if you win...

02:32:53.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:33:12.000 And then for like six months, you shouldn't do jack shit. 0.99

02:33:15.000 You should go in cryo chambers and fucking hyperbaric chambers and get massages and let your body heal up. 1.00

02:33:21.000 You were in a car accident. 1.00

02:33:22.000 You got run over by a truck and you survived.

02:33:25.000 What do you think of...

02:33:26.000 I'm looking forward to Adesanya.

02:33:27.000 I kind of wanted to see Paulo Costa get the fight, but the fact that he's doing it with Romero is still a great fight.

02:33:34.000 I'm happy it's Yoel Romero for two reasons.

02:33:36.000 One, because Paulo Costa, they can do in the future.

02:33:39.000 Paulo Costa is only like 29 years old.

02:33:42.000 He's a young guy, just like Adesanya.

02:33:44.000 And two, stylistically, I want to see...

02:33:47.000 I still want to see Paulo Costa.

02:33:49.000 I mean, Paulo Costa is a monster, man. 0.98

02:33:51.000 He's a monster. 0.99

02:33:52.000 I'm really... 0.98

02:33:53.000 I mean, especially after he beat Yoel like that.

02:33:55.000 Really interested in seeing him fight Israel.

02:33:59.000 But...

02:34:01.000 Stylistically, I'm interested in Yoel Romero versus Israel because of the wrestling.

02:34:06.000 Because Yoel's wrestling is crazy.

02:34:09.000 He's one of the most powerful guys that's ever fought in that division.

02:34:12.000 He's enormous for that division. 0.98

02:34:14.000 And he's so fucking explosive. 0.99

02:34:16.000 And he can take a crazy shot. 0.99

02:34:18.000 I mean, if you look at the two of them together... 0.99

02:34:21.000 I mean, Izzy is taller and longer, and Yoel is just fucking jacked. 0.98

02:34:28.000 He's not even built like a real human. 0.98

02:34:30.000 His waist is this tiny thing. 1.00

02:34:32.000 His muscles are fucking preposterous. 0.99

02:34:34.000 When you see him, you're like, oh, that's a comic book guy. 0.99

02:34:37.000 That's not a real person.

02:34:38.000 He's a comic book person.

02:34:40.000 He's 40 years old?

02:34:41.000 41 years old?

02:34:41.000 I think he's 41. Still jacked.

02:34:43.000 Super, super jacked.

02:34:45.000 And I think, honestly, he should have already been the champion.

02:34:48.000 I think he beat Robert Whittaker in the second fight. 0.91

02:34:51.000 My feeling is that he hurt him more, he was more effective, and there was two rounds that easily could have been 10-8 rounds where he had Robert Whittaker fucking staggered.

02:35:00.000 And if that was the case, he would have won the title.

02:35:03.000 Was it a split decision?

02:35:05.000 I don't remember.

02:35:07.000 I don't know.

02:35:08.000 I don't remember.

02:35:10.000 Google Yoel Romero versus Robert Whittaker.

02:35:13.000 I don't know.

02:35:13.000 I mean, split decisions are so crazy, right?

02:35:15.000 It's like, what if Tiago Santos is the UFC light heavyweight champion now?

02:35:19.000 Because one judge says he should be.

02:35:20.000 Two judges say he isn't.

02:35:22.000 Split decisions are real weird.

02:35:24.000 I think there's not enough judges.

02:35:25.000 There should be at least five judges.

02:35:27.000 It probably should be ten.

02:35:28.000 And I think we should also have an online judging.

02:35:30.000 I think they should have that.

02:35:31.000 And maybe they don't take it into consideration.

02:35:34.000 But for us, what does it say here?

02:35:37.000 Unanimous.

02:35:38.000 Unanimous decision.

02:35:39.000 By one point on each judge's scorecard.

02:35:41.000 And I disagreed with that.

02:35:43.000 But, you know, that's okay.

02:35:48.000 Very interesting.

02:35:49.000 Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

02:35:51.000 I don't remember when the fight is, but I'm looking forward to it.

02:35:53.000 Yeah.

02:35:54.000 When is that?

02:35:55.000 When is EOL? Is that March in Vegas?

02:35:58.000 I think it's...

02:35:58.000 Is it?

02:35:59.000 Yeah.

02:36:00.000 March 7th.

02:36:01.000 And Ferguson Khabib is in Brooklyn, right?

02:36:03.000 Yes.

02:36:04.000 You going to that?

02:36:06.000 I don't know.

02:36:06.000 It depends if I'm working that weekend.

02:36:07.000 Take that weekend off, Jimmy!

02:36:09.000 I got a bunch of dates that are now up, so I may be working.

02:36:13.000 I don't remember.

02:36:14.000 I'm super pumped for Dominic Reyes and Jon Jones.

02:36:17.000 Yes.

02:36:18.000 That is a dangerous fight for Jon Jones.

02:36:20.000 Dominic Reyes, he is not getting enough credit.

02:36:22.000 He's 12-0. 0.99

02:36:23.000 He has a fucking ruthless left hand. 0.99

02:36:26.000 He's super athletic, and he's really tall. 1.00

02:36:30.000 He's really tall and long. 0.92

02:36:32.000 And he's a young guy, he's 30 years old, you know, and John, you know, John has to take that guy really fucking seriously.

02:36:40.000 I did think, if I remember correctly, I remember thinking Uzdemir won the fight.

02:36:45.000 I thought Uzdemir got, I thought he should have gotten the decision.

02:36:48.000 Over Dominic?

02:36:49.000 Reyes, yeah.

02:36:50.000 Really?

02:36:50.000 Really close.

02:36:50.000 Yeah, it's interesting.

02:36:51.000 Look at that stats again, the tail of the tape, Jamie.

02:36:54.000 Look at the difference in the reach.

02:36:56.000 John Jones has an 84.5-inch reach, and then you look at Dominic Reyes, it's 77. That's interesting.

02:37:03.000 That's the width of the shoulders.

02:37:05.000 John is so long.

02:37:06.000 Yeah.

02:37:06.000 You know, you're measuring tip to tip like this.

02:37:09.000 And one thing that John excels at is keeping people at distance.

02:37:14.000 But he's fighting a guy that's his height.

02:37:17.000 That guy's just as long as him.

02:37:18.000 I mean, not as wide.

02:37:19.000 Obviously, the reach is different in terms of the width of the shoulders.

02:37:22.000 But Dominic Cruz's footwork and movement is excellent.

02:37:25.000 His kicks are excellent.

02:37:27.000 He's got nasty power in his hands.

02:37:29.000 And he's got a lot of confidence, man.

02:37:31.000 He's undefeated coming in at 12-0. 0.98

02:37:33.000 That guy is a killer. 1.00

02:37:34.000 What he did to Chris Weidman, I was like, holy shit. 1.00

02:37:36.000 Yeah, it was a rough one to watch. 0.99

02:37:38.000 It's hard to watch.

02:37:39.000 Am I crazy to think that Gustafson had that kind of reach too?

02:37:41.000 Yes, he did.

02:37:42.000 He did, right?

02:37:43.000 He was closer to Jones than most guys.

02:37:45.000 Gustafson, although he has fantastic combinations and excellent boxing, does not have one-punch power the way Dominic Reyes has.

02:37:52.000 Dominic Reyes sets things up, and when he moves in, BOOM! He drops things on you.

02:37:56.000 And dudes fold.

02:37:57.000 Like, when he fought OSP. He knocked out OSP with no time in the fight.

02:38:02.000 It was basically like a couple of seconds to go in the fight.

02:38:05.000 He cracked OSP. And they didn't give him the knockout, which I don't understand.

02:38:09.000 I mean, it was way worse than Alistair and Rosenstreich.

02:38:13.000 I mean, he had OSP out.

02:38:15.000 He was gone.

02:38:16.000 And they didn't stop the fight.

02:38:19.000 And I'm like, I don't understand this.

02:38:20.000 This is like, it was confusing to me.

02:38:22.000 Because he walked away like it was over.

02:38:25.000 See if you can find that.

02:38:27.000 Dominic Reyes drops OSP. Who was winning the fight at that point?

02:38:33.000 Dominic Reyes was.

02:38:34.000 But OSP gave him some trouble.

02:38:36.000 He gave him some trouble.

02:38:38.000 I mean, Dominic was definitely winning the fight.

02:38:40.000 But OSP had his moments.

02:38:42.000 Definitely had his moments.

02:38:43.000 And I watched that fight about a month ago or so.

02:38:46.000 And when I was watching, I was trying to find...

02:38:49.000 Moments where I think John could capitalize that OSP couldn't.

02:38:53.000 But OSP is a very strong guy.

02:38:57.000 A lot of guys struggle with him, including John Jones.

02:39:00.000 John Jones struggled with OSP. It's a powerhouse, man.

02:39:03.000 You can't fuck up with OSP. He KOs guys. 0.99

02:39:06.000 He can KO people with one punch.

02:39:08.000 He KO'd Shogun with one punch.

02:39:10.000 He KO'd Corey Anderson, I think.

02:39:14.000 That was John's first fight back after a while.

02:39:16.000 He had taken that layoff and that was his first fight back after a suspension or he had been gone for a while and no one thought that OSP was going to go the distance.

02:39:24.000 Didn't they go five and he got the decision?

02:39:26.000 Yep, they did.

02:39:27.000 So here it is.

02:39:27.000 So here's Dominic Reyes.

02:39:30.000 Watch this.

02:39:31.000 He's moving.

02:39:32.000 Boom! 0.99

02:39:32.000 He drops him. 0.99

02:39:33.000 Look at that.

02:39:34.000 He's out.

02:39:35.000 Look at that.

02:39:35.000 He's just lying there.

02:39:36.000 Out.

02:39:37.000 And Dominic Raiders moves off.

02:39:38.000 Like, that's it.

02:39:39.000 And they don't stop the fight.

02:39:41.000 And the referee stands over and lets him get back up to his feet.

02:39:43.000 And the bell rang.

02:39:44.000 And they didn't call it a knockout.

02:39:45.000 I'm like, okay.

02:39:46.000 That's a knockout, man.

02:39:47.000 You couldn't justify keeping that fight going.

02:39:51.000 But that's what I bet your Overeem wishes would have happened, was that they would have let him just walk away.

02:39:55.000 Oh, yeah.

02:39:55.000 100%.

02:39:56.000 Listen, if Dan Mergliata and Dan did his job, because Dan's supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, right?

02:40:01.000 I think he should have called the fight, but Dan is supposed to be the guy that calls the fight, not the fighter. 0.96

02:40:06.000 So when Dominic, play that again, when Dominic K-Os him, all he had to do was follow up with a couple of strikes, and then the fucking show's over. 0.96

02:40:13.000 Watch this. 0.97

02:40:14.000 But it's beautiful footwork.

02:40:15.000 I love how he did it, too.

02:40:16.000 So OSP's moving because he's behind.

02:40:18.000 So he's trying to move forward and press and trying to catch him.

02:40:22.000 And Dominic's moving and OSP presses him.

02:40:25.000 And he uses good footwork to avoid this, too.

02:40:28.000 He catches that left kick, which is OSP's power side.

02:40:31.000 And as OSP is setting it up, you see he goes southpaw again.

02:40:34.000 So he's looking for that left kick again.

02:40:35.000 There it is.

02:40:36.000 Boom.

02:40:36.000 Counters.

02:40:37.000 Look.

02:40:37.000 Step over.

02:40:38.000 Bang! 1.00

02:40:38.000 Left hand. 1.00

02:40:39.000 And then the referee's waiting for him to follow up.

02:40:41.000 So if he just jumped on him there and followed up instead of walking with his hands up, the buzzer may have gone off somewhere around then.

02:40:49.000 I don't know when the buzzer went off.

02:40:51.000 Yeah, it was like 20 seconds, 21 seconds when he hit him.

02:40:53.000 Yeah, but Dan Mergley, see if we can get some volume on that.

02:40:58.000 Oh no, it was a lot less than that.

02:40:59.000 A lot less.

02:41:01.000 He's stuck in my opinion.

02:41:02.000 He's coming.

02:41:04.000 Oh! 0.60

02:41:06.000 Right at the guard!

02:41:08.000 So right at the horn.

02:41:10.000 So he dropped him at the horn.

02:41:12.000 I still think they should have stopped it.

02:41:13.000 But I don't know.

02:41:14.000 Whatever.

02:41:15.000 He won the fight.

02:41:15.000 But look, he basically knocked him out with a second to go.

02:41:19.000 But he's got a different fight in front of him this weekend with Jon Jones.

02:41:24.000 Jon Jones has such a history of success against the best fighters on the planet.

02:41:28.000 Jon finds a way to win, man.

02:41:29.000 He does, man.

02:41:30.000 He finds a way.

02:41:31.000 And that was the good thing about that Gustafson fight, the first one.

02:41:34.000 It was such a...

02:41:35.000 If I remember right...

02:41:37.000 Jones really turned it on in rounds four and five.

02:41:40.000 I thought Gustafson was ahead, maybe two to one, and then rounds four and five, Jones won. 0.97

02:41:45.000 And again, I don't know if that's a correct recollection, but I remember being like, fuck, that's why he's a champion. 0.94

02:41:51.000 He won the final round, for sure. 0.98

02:41:53.000 And he wasn't even in shape.

02:41:54.000 He didn't train for that fight. 0.99

02:41:56.000 They said he just fucked off and was partying and having a good time. 0.99

02:41:58.000 He just thought he was unbeatable. 0.98

02:42:00.000 And he said something really interesting to me when he came in here.

02:42:03.000 He said he always gave himself an excuse.

02:42:07.000 So that, like, if he did lose, he could always say, well, you know what?

02:42:10.000 At least I didn't train.

02:42:11.000 Like, if I trained, then I would have beat that guy.

02:42:13.000 But he was still beating people, even though he wasn't training hard.

02:42:16.000 And then he started ramping it up and actually training hard.

02:42:18.000 And when he almost lost everything, you know, when he got arrested and all that shit that happened to him, and he almost lost his career, then when it came back, he had much more of a sense of urgency because he realized, like, what a gift it really was.

02:42:29.000 Yeah.

02:42:29.000 I'm happy he's back, too.

02:42:31.000 And I honestly, after that, again, I was out there with Matt.

02:42:34.000 And after they told us, like, no, man, the fight's not happening, I thought, like, I'm never going to watch him fight again.

02:42:40.000 He'll never fight again.

02:42:41.000 I thought so, too.

02:42:42.000 When he crashed in that lady's car and took off, I was like, oh, my God, he might go to jail.

02:42:47.000 And, you know, I just felt bad that he was doing that in the first place.

02:42:51.000 Just all of it.

02:42:52.000 Everything was wrong.

02:42:53.000 There's too much partying.

02:42:54.000 But sometimes someone needs some sort of a giant scare, a horrible series of events where you realize, like, oh, I can't do this anymore.

02:43:04.000 I've got to live my life in a better way.

02:43:06.000 Yeah, you have to almost have everything taken away from you.

02:43:09.000 But I believe that Dominic Reyes is the most dangerous fighter Jon Jones has faced since Daniel Cormier.

02:43:17.000 I think Dominic Reyes presents a very unique series of challenges.

02:43:20.000 First of all, the length.

02:43:22.000 The undefeated record.

02:43:23.000 He's 12-0.

02:43:25.000 There's confidence that comes with undefeated fighters.

02:43:27.000 And Dominic is extremely confident.

02:43:30.000 He's...

02:43:30.000 He's a believer in himself, and that belief in himself has led him to stop guys like Chris Weidman, to knock out OSP with one second to go.

02:43:39.000 He's got belief in his power.

02:43:40.000 He's got legit one-punch knockout power.

02:43:43.000 He's got great footwork and movement.

02:43:44.000 He just had the opportunity to see John struggle with Tiago Santos.

02:43:48.000 He has a style.

02:43:50.000 He can mimic that kind of success.

02:43:52.000 The chopping at the legs.

02:43:54.000 I think this is a dangerous fight for John.

02:43:56.000 But I also think John knows it's a dangerous fight for John.

02:43:59.000 And John is a champion.

02:44:01.000 A real champion.

02:44:02.000 The greatest champion in the light heavyweight division has ever known unquestionably.

02:44:05.000 And I think he's going to rise to the occasion.

02:44:07.000 I think we're going to see the best John Jones.

02:44:09.000 I think John Jones needs a real threat to scare him and work him up.

02:44:13.000 And I don't know if Tiago Santos was that for him.

02:44:15.000 Maybe not.

02:44:16.000 If Tiago Santos was a title defense...

02:44:18.000 Chance for him to fight.

02:44:19.000 But I don't think that's what he gets scared of.

02:44:23.000 I think Jon needs someone like a Dominic Reyes, a real threat, so that you see who he was in the second fight with Daniel Cormier when he head-kicked DC and knocked him out.

02:44:31.000 The second fight with Gustafson when he smashed him.

02:44:35.000 That's the real Jon Jones.

02:44:36.000 Jon Jones when he's pressed.

02:44:39.000 And I think that Dominic Reyes presents that kind of a problem. 0.99

02:44:42.000 And I think you're going to see a fucking killer Jon Jones next weekend. 0.99

02:44:45.000 I think he's going to be on fire. 0.99

02:44:46.000 I can't wait.

02:44:47.000 That's a week from this Saturday?

02:44:48.000 Yes!

02:44:49.000 Yeah, I can't wait.

02:44:50.000 I'm so pumped.

02:44:51.000 The moment I stop feeling like this, I'll stop calling fights. 0.73

02:44:54.000 But right now, man, I fucking love it. 0.53

02:44:56.000 Dude, there's always fights I want to see. 0.91

02:44:58.000 Always fights I want to see.

02:45:00.000 There's always something I'm looking forward to.

02:45:01.000 There's never not two or three fights on the horizon that I want to see.

02:45:04.000 Look at this.

02:45:05.000 Dana White says, Kamaru Usman versus Jorge Masvidal planned for International Fight Week.

02:45:09.000 Wow.

02:45:10.000 Dun, dun, dun! 1.00

02:45:12.000 Yeah, they just had a little shit at the Super Bowl. 1.00

02:45:16.000 I was wrong, too. 1.00

02:45:17.000 I'm a fucking idiot. 1.00

02:45:18.000 I thought it was going to be Conor against Masvidal. 1.00

02:45:21.000 That's who I thought the next fight was going to be.

02:45:23.000 That's a great fight.

02:45:24.000 That's a great fight.

02:45:25.000 I think Conor really wants Khabib. 0.98

02:45:28.000 And Dana keeps saying they're going to try to make a rematch. 0.96

02:45:31.000 But I don't know why they're saying that when Khabib has to fight Tony motherfucking Ferguson. 0.98

02:45:36.000 Tony's the boogeyman. 0.97

02:45:38.000 That nickname, El Kukui, that's a perfect nickname for that guy. 1.00

02:45:41.000 That guy's terrifying.

02:45:42.000 He never gets tired.

02:45:43.000 He never gets tired.

02:45:44.000 Everybody who fights him looks like they fell off a train.

02:45:47.000 It's crazy.

02:45:48.000 That's the fight everybody has wanted to see.

02:45:50.000 And again, is that March or April?

02:45:52.000 April.

02:45:53.000 Okay, yeah, that's still a ways away.

02:45:54.000 And then who knows how that fight goes, how long Khabib takes to get better.

02:45:58.000 Khabib doesn't want to have anything to do with Conor. 1.00

02:46:00.000 He's like, fuck that dude. 1.00

02:46:01.000 And Khabib's dad said, give him $100 million, he'll fight him. 1.00

02:46:04.000 So I don't think he can make $100 million.

02:46:06.000 The only way he can make $100 million is if he gets the kind of numbers that Floyd Mayweather vs.

02:46:10.000 Conor got.

02:46:11.000 Or if the UFC decides to bankroll it and gamble and give him $100 million.

02:46:16.000 I mean, they might do that.

02:46:17.000 Because here's one thing we have to take into consideration about Khabib.

02:46:20.000 He's not just an enormous star in the United States.

02:46:22.000 He's a huge superstar in the Muslim world.

02:46:26.000 Huge!

02:46:27.000 Huge!

02:46:28.000 He's a super religious guy.

02:46:30.000 I mean, he celebrates Ramadan.

02:46:33.000 He's very respectful.

02:46:34.000 This is one of the reasons why Conor's trash-talking, all that, was so infuriating to him.

02:46:39.000 He's a different guy, man.

02:46:41.000 He's a man of virtue. 1.00

02:46:42.000 He still drives a fucking Toyota. 0.99

02:46:43.000 He's worth millions and millions of dollars. 1.00

02:46:45.000 He's not a flashy dude. 1.00

02:46:48.000 He's a fucking warrior. 0.99

02:46:49.000 And he doesn't want to have that kind of situation again. 0.99

02:46:53.000 In his eyes...

02:46:54.000 They fought once.

02:46:55.000 He smashed Connor and he got him to tap.

02:46:58.000 He choked him.

02:46:59.000 And he's like, good.

02:47:00.000 I did it.

02:47:00.000 Fight's over.

02:47:01.000 I did what I want to do. 1.00

02:47:02.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:47:03.000 And then when they're saying, oh, we need to make a rematch. 1.00

02:47:05.000 No, no, no.

02:47:06.000 No, we had the fight. 1.00

02:47:07.000 I fucked him up. 1.00

02:47:08.000 He can suck my dick. 1.00

02:47:09.000 I'm going to go do other things. 1.00

02:47:11.000 That's what he's thinking. 1.00

02:47:12.000 I think not the suck the dick part. 1.00

02:47:14.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

02:47:15.000 I think Khabib versus Tony is the toughest fight of Khabib's career.

02:47:20.000 I really believe that.

02:47:21.000 I think Tony Ferguson is a nightmare for anybody, especially right now.

02:47:25.000 When you watch his fight with Anthony Pettis, when you watch how he busted up Donald Cerrone, I think Tony Ferguson is the scariest guy for anybody at 155 pounds to fight.

02:47:35.000 He doesn't get tired. 0.98

02:47:36.000 He fucking has bricks for hands. 0.99

02:47:38.000 And I had Josh Thompson in here the other day. 0.99

02:47:40.000 Josh was saying when Tony Ferguson grabs him, he said, you can't believe how big his hands are.

02:47:46.000 He said he wraps his hands around his wrist.

02:47:48.000 He goes, yeah, I couldn't get my hands free. 1.00

02:47:49.000 He goes, his fucking hands are so big and strong. 0.99

02:47:52.000 That's part of what he does. 0.99

02:47:53.000 I've never been in his presence, so I don't know how long.

02:47:54.000 Yeah.

02:47:55.000 He's a spooky dude.

02:47:56.000 There's something about him.

02:47:57.000 He ain't normal.

02:47:58.000 He's not a normal guy.

02:48:00.000 He's eccentric, but in the good way.

02:48:02.000 Yeah.

02:48:02.000 Especially when it comes to being a fighter.

02:48:04.000 He does all his own training.

02:48:05.000 He teaches himself. 0.99

02:48:06.000 He's got all this crazy shit he does where he does wing chung dummies and break dances. 1.00

02:48:11.000 There's a lot of shit that nobody ever does. 1.00

02:48:13.000 Did you see the video he put out? 0.99

02:48:14.000 Kind of a Tony Ferguson tribute workout video in the gym.

02:48:18.000 It was very amusing.

02:48:20.000 Tony's a unique individual.

02:48:23.000 There's no other Tony Ferguson.

02:48:24.000 There's no one that I could even think of that reminds me of Tony Ferguson.

02:48:29.000 No one.

02:48:30.000 He's so different. 1.00

02:48:32.000 You know, that said, Khabib's the fucking man. 1.00

02:48:35.000 I mean, no one runs through people the way Khabib does. 1.00

02:48:38.000 He smashes people.

02:48:39.000 He drags them to the ground. 0.98

02:48:40.000 He out-wrestles them. 0.92

02:48:41.000 He pummels them. 0.95

02:48:42.000 He beats them down.

02:48:43.000 You know, he's an undeniable, unstoppable force.

02:48:46.000 The two of them together...

02:48:48.000 It's an epic fight, but I would not be making any plans if I was Dana or if I was anybody else.

02:48:52.000 I would not be making any plans because Khabib can win that fight.

02:48:56.000 Yeah.

02:48:57.000 Of course.

02:48:58.000 Tony can win that fight, too.

02:48:59.000 Either one of those guys.

02:49:00.000 I mean, Khabib can win that fight, but it's not guaranteed.

02:49:04.000 Tony can win that fight, too.

02:49:06.000 Ferguson can win that fight.

02:49:07.000 They both can win.

02:49:08.000 I just want the fight to happen.

02:49:09.000 Is this the fourth or fifth time they've been scheduled?

02:49:12.000 I just want the fight to happen.

02:49:14.000 Dude.

02:49:15.000 I mean, everybody does.

02:49:16.000 You're telling me.

02:49:17.000 I'm just begging and pleading that these guys keep it together.

02:49:20.000 I can only hope and pray that they keep it together. 0.99

02:49:23.000 It's a fucking amazing fight, man. 0.99

02:49:26.000 Amazing. 0.99

02:49:26.000 And Caitlyn is fighting. 0.99

02:49:27.000 When is she fighting Valentina?

02:49:28.000 Because I'm going to take her up on that offer, but I'm not going to do it until...

02:49:31.000 Yeah, she's the co-main for Joan Trance, right?

02:49:33.000 Yeah.

02:49:33.000 That's a dangerous fight.

02:49:35.000 That's a dangerous fight for her. 0.99

02:49:36.000 Valentina's scary.

02:49:38.000 Yeah, she is. 1.00

02:49:38.000 She's a killer. 1.00

02:49:40.000 That woman's a killer. 1.00

02:49:42.000 She has nasty power. 1.00

02:49:44.000 When she knocked out Jessica Ai with that head kick, I'm like, holy fuck, man. 1.00

02:49:47.000 Yeah, she's frightening. 0.99

02:49:49.000 I mean, I want to see Caitlyn because I know her.

02:49:51.000 It's hard to root for people when you've interviewed all the fighters.

02:49:54.000 You like all of them.

02:49:56.000 By rooting for someone, you're kind of by proxy rooting against someone else.

02:49:59.000 It's hard to root against someone who you've liked and interviewed.

02:50:02.000 It's hard to be objective when you call the fight.

02:50:04.000 Me, as I'm calling the fights, it's very hard.

02:50:06.000 Especially if there's someone like Donald fighting who's actually a good friend.

02:50:10.000 When I watched him fight, you know, he was the really hard one.

02:50:12.000 Really hard with Schaub.

02:50:14.000 Because Schaub and I are tight.

02:50:15.000 Yeah.

02:50:16.000 Dude, when he would fight...

02:50:19.000 We're good to go. 1.00

02:50:43.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:50:44.000 You know, it's just like, this is not good. 1.00

02:50:47.000 You know, and I'm so close with him.

02:50:53.000 You know, he's one of my favorite people. 1.00

02:50:55.000 So me watching him getting beat up, I was like, fuck! 0.99

02:50:58.000 It was so hard to call his fights. 1.00

02:51:00.000 It was so hard.

02:51:01.000 Yeah, because you're watching somebody you care about get hurt.

02:51:03.000 Yeah, and I have to be excited.

02:51:05.000 You know, when Travis is putting it on him, I mean, I have to treat it like I don't even like Brendan, like we're not even friends.

02:51:11.000 I have to treat it like it's just a fight.

02:51:13.000 You know, it's hard.

02:51:14.000 But it's also, you know, just hard personally.

02:51:17.000 Not hard in the moment, but hard on you after it's over.

02:51:20.000 It's like, you know, when you're watching someone fight that shouldn't be fighting anymore, whether it's someone you're close to, like I was close with Brendan, or whether it's, you know, there's fighters that, you know, fight towards the end of their career, like BJ Penn, some of his last fights. 0.98

02:51:32.000 I'm like, God damn it. 0.73

02:51:34.000 You know, he was a legend in his prime. 0.99

02:51:37.000 He's like one of the greatest of all time, guaranteeing like a real phenom, a freak.

02:51:42.000 And to see him just be a shell of himself.

02:51:45.000 Or in the street, fighting in the street.

02:51:47.000 Yeah, that was awful. 0.63

02:51:49.000 When Frankie Edgar beat the fuck out of him, I was like, someone's got to stop him. 0.74

02:51:52.000 He's got to stop.

02:51:54.000 When Frankie got on top of him and was just smashing him, I was like, someone's got to stop this.

02:51:58.000 He can't do this anymore.

02:52:01.000 It's hard, man.

02:52:02.000 You know, it's the greatest thing those guys ever experience in their life and something that you or I will never be able to appreciate.

02:52:09.000 We've never experienced that kind of glory.

02:52:12.000 It must be a high that's indescribable.

02:52:16.000 I'll never feel it, but it must be.

02:52:20.000 To be a world champion like a BJ Penn? 1.00

02:52:22.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

02:52:23.000 It's got to be hard to chase that for the next 30 years trying to find anything. 1.00

02:52:28.000 It's like someone who stops doing stand-up on a lesser level.

02:52:30.000 What do you do to make you feel good or to bring you that?

02:52:33.000 There's nothing.

02:52:34.000 Well, the beautiful thing about stand-up is we don't have to stop.

02:52:36.000 No.

02:52:36.000 George Carlin died in a hotel room.

02:52:39.000 Didn't he hit a heart attack?

02:52:41.000 Didn't he go to the hospital?

02:52:43.000 I'm fairly sure he went to the hospital.

02:52:44.000 Oh, okay.

02:52:45.000 But he died when he was staying in a hotel room.

02:52:47.000 He was staying on the road.

02:52:48.000 He was working.

02:52:48.000 Yeah, he drove.

02:52:50.000 That's right.

02:52:50.000 Ralphie died in a hotel room, right?

02:52:51.000 Or he didn't die at someone's house.

02:52:53.000 Panette might have died in a hotel.

02:52:54.000 I believe John Panette died in a hotel room.

02:52:56.000 I think you're right.

02:52:59.000 I saw he had lost so much weight, and I was like, how you doing, man?

02:53:03.000 Because he was trying to get off all the stuff he was on.

02:53:05.000 Yeah.

02:53:06.000 Was he on Pills?

02:53:07.000 I heard he was, yeah.

02:53:09.000 I didn't know him.

02:53:10.000 He knew I was sober, so we talked briefly about it, but it wasn't a long conversation.

02:53:15.000 When I was first starting out, when I was an open-miker, Panette was one of the favorite guys at Nick's Comedy Stop in Boston.

02:53:23.000 He was established when I was just starting out.

02:53:25.000 I remember watching him just murder one night.

02:53:28.000 He had this bit about going to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, and they're screaming at him, you get out!

02:53:33.000 You eat too much!

02:53:35.000 You go now, yeah.

02:53:36.000 You go now!

02:53:37.000 Yeah, that was what it was.

02:53:38.000 Very famous bit. 0.96

02:53:39.000 He murdered, we did a fucking Montreal one time, it was like a gala, and all of us were bombing. 1.00

02:53:45.000 Anthony Clark ate his dick, I ate my dick, nobody was doing well. 1.00

02:53:49.000 And this was a gala in Montreal, and we're like, ah, this crowd sucks. 1.00

02:53:52.000 And then fucking Panette went on and blew a hole through the stage, and you're like, it was us. 0.99

02:53:58.000 He had so much power. 0.99

02:53:59.000 He was so good.

02:54:00.000 Yeah, he was so good.

02:54:01.000 He had so much power.

02:54:03.000 And I think the only thing that ever held him back was his health.

02:54:05.000 You know, I think if he was healthier, you know, he would have been able to...

02:54:09.000 Because he had energy on stage. 0.99

02:54:10.000 Like, he was fucking going when he was on stage. 0.99

02:54:14.000 And that's, you know, real Boston style. 0.99

02:54:17.000 That aggressive, attacking style.

02:54:19.000 And just murderously funny. 0.95

02:54:22.000 Yeah, it's gotta be hard too when you're fat and your whole thing is like, I'm a big fat guy and there's so much material built around it and it's who you are.

02:54:30.000 It's gotta be scary to lose the weight.

02:54:32.000 Oh yeah, it is hard.

02:54:35.000 Well, you know, Kevin James, when he was young, he had a different manager.

02:54:40.000 We have the same manager now, but he had a different manager and his manager literally told him, if you lose weight, you're losing roles.

02:54:48.000 Like roles in TV shows and movies.

02:54:49.000 Right, right, right. 0.99

02:54:49.000 And I was like, you don't fucking listen to that guy. 0.99

02:54:52.000 I'm like, what are you talking about? 0.99

02:54:53.000 You don't think you're going to be funny if you're thinner? 1.00

02:54:55.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:54:55.000 You're funny, dude. 1.00

02:54:56.000 Yeah.

02:54:56.000 You're funny all the time.

02:54:58.000 But they'll mind fuck you. 1.00

02:55:00.000 They wanted him to be the jolly fat guy. 1.00

02:55:02.000 And there's money in the jolly fat guy. 1.00

02:55:04.000 Do you want this guy to stay alive, you fucking asshole? 1.00

02:55:07.000 But you wonder, too, if you change... 1.00

02:55:09.000 I always wonder if I change the things I hate about myself or that I don't like about myself.

02:55:12.000 Am I funny anymore?

02:55:13.000 Nothing to talk about if I'm...

02:55:15.000 Call me if you don't think so.

02:55:16.000 You're funny, man.

02:55:17.000 You're funny, period.

02:55:17.000 It's not rational.

02:55:18.000 It's like a crazy thought you have, like...

02:55:21.000 What do I do without this stuff?

02:55:22.000 Well, I'm very lucky I don't have that thought process, but you can get away with it, too.

02:55:26.000 You can get out of that thought process.

02:55:27.000 You don't need that.

02:55:28.000 That thing, if I do that, will I be any good?

02:55:31.000 You're good.

02:55:31.000 You're a great joke writer.

02:55:33.000 You're a funny comic. 0.99

02:55:34.000 You kill.

02:55:35.000 You make me laugh hard. 1.00

02:55:37.000 You're one of the few guys, like, when I was in Austin, I was doing some shit with Onnit. 0.52

02:55:40.000 Remember that time when you were working there? 0.74

02:55:42.000 And I came to see you at the comedy club.

02:55:43.000 I had a great time.

02:55:44.000 You made me happy.

02:55:46.000 It was fun. 0.98

02:55:47.000 It was fun sitting in the crowd and watching you kill.

02:55:52.000 Your kind of comedy is my kind of comedy.

02:55:54.000 It was a treat.

02:55:56.000 I was like, this is great.

02:55:58.000 So if you don't think that if you got healthy or something like that, you wouldn't be funny. 0.99

02:56:02.000 You're crazy. 0.97

02:56:03.000 But it's just that crazy thing that you think. 1.00

02:56:05.000 It's not a rational thing.

02:56:06.000 It's the tape that plays.

02:56:08.000 It's also a defense mechanism.

02:56:10.000 Your brain is trying to trick you into not getting better.

02:56:14.000 Because there's a lot of pressure in improving yourself.

02:56:17.000 That's why junkies a lot of times fall back.

02:56:20.000 Alcoholics fall back.

02:56:22.000 They fall back on it because there's comfort in failing.

02:56:24.000 Because they've failed so many times before.

02:56:26.000 The pressure of 99 days and no drinking.

02:56:29.000 I can't believe it.

02:56:30.000 That happens with gamblers, too.

02:56:32.000 With gamblers, man. 1.00

02:56:33.000 Oh, there's the fucking rush of the gambling. 1.00

02:56:35.000 Hey, I've been good, man. 1.00

02:56:36.000 I've been good.

02:56:37.000 I ain't playing the cards. 0.96

02:56:38.000 I ain't doing shit. 0.96

02:56:39.000 I've been jogging a lot. 0.99

02:56:40.000 And then one day, you see them all fucking eyes wide, crazy, looking like they're exhausted, been playing cards all night or something. 0.99

02:56:48.000 Fucking shirts untucked, half untucked, yeah. 1.00

02:56:50.000 The gambling one, man. 1.00

02:56:51.000 I never got into that one.

02:56:52.000 Gambling scares me.

02:56:53.000 That terrifies me because I know I would lose everything. 0.84

02:56:56.000 It's like sex.

02:56:57.000 It's like everything else.

02:56:58.000 It's like drugs or anything.

02:56:59.000 Anything that's a compulsion where it becomes your main obsession more than positive things in your life.

02:57:06.000 And it's what are you willing to sacrifice for?

02:57:08.000 Because people think, well, sex is not addictive, but it's like anything else.

02:57:12.000 What am I willing to give up to get it?

02:57:15.000 And what am I willing to sacrifice or risk to engage in it?

02:57:19.000 Are you willing to risk your freedom?

02:57:20.000 Are you willing to risk your whatever?

02:57:22.000 There's a lot of things that addiction makes you do, and they're just not normal people behavior.

02:57:26.000 Yeah, it's not normal people's behavior.

02:57:28.000 And you wonder, like, what is the root of those kinds of obsessions?

02:57:31.000 Like, what evolutionary benefit is being obsessed with sex or being obsessed with gambling or being obsessed with drugs?

02:57:38.000 Like, what is it that makes people gravitate towards those things where just everything else seems so secondary?

02:57:45.000 And then now, like, I gotta get to the casino. 0.99

02:57:47.000 Gotta get to that fucking casino. 0.99

02:57:48.000 I knew people like that, especially from my pool hall days. 1.00

02:57:52.000 Real gambling junkies that were always chasing that dragon.

02:57:55.000 Yeah.

02:57:55.000 Always trying to score, playing the lotto and looking to gamble on games and cards and...

02:58:01.000 You know, like Artie Lang, who talks about it.

02:58:04.000 I mean, with Artie, the gambling thing was really similar to him to the drug thing.

02:58:08.000 You know, the gambling, the addiction to gambling.

02:58:10.000 Like, he just loved being in action.

02:58:12.000 Come on, what do we got?

02:58:13.000 And that was a thing a lot like the drug thing.

02:58:16.000 I can't do it with sports. 0.99

02:58:17.000 It just seems like such a fucking waste of money. 0.97

02:58:20.000 Like, I just can't put that kind of energy into hoping. 0.97

02:58:23.000 Come on, two outs to go! 0.99

02:58:25.000 Fucking exhausting. 0.98

02:58:27.000 And I can't make myself do it. 0.97

02:58:29.000 And I'm glad I can't because I know I would like it. 1.00

02:58:31.000 Like, Rich Voss was a fucking horrible gambler. 0.99

02:58:33.000 So I kind of learned a lot from watching Voss and how out of control and how obsessive he was. 1.00

02:58:39.000 And I'm like, I know I would be.

02:58:41.000 It makes watching fights more fun.

02:58:42.000 I don't gamble on fights.

02:58:44.000 I used to.

02:58:45.000 I used to gamble in the old days of the UFC because nobody told me I couldn't.

02:58:48.000 I'm like, I can't affect the outcome.

02:58:51.000 I'm just calling the fight.

02:58:53.000 But then when I stopped, Aubrey, my partner at Onnit, I would give him tips. 0.99

02:58:58.000 We'd sit down with the card, and I'm like fucking 89%, man. 0.92

02:59:02.000 Are you really? 0.99

02:59:03.000 Oh my god, yeah. 1.00

02:59:03.000 And there was a few that would come out every now and then, where I'd be like, bet the fucking house. 1.00

02:59:09.000 You know, there's a few where the... 0.99

02:59:11.000 The people that are making the odds, they don't know.

02:59:14.000 They knew Anderson Silva was good.

02:59:16.000 They didn't know he was that good.

02:59:18.000 That one, I was like, what is this?

02:59:19.000 Was it 3-1?

02:59:21.000 How much do you own?

02:59:23.000 Push it all on the Brazilian. 1.00

02:59:25.000 Push it all, baby.

02:59:27.000 There's always a few fights where a guy comes up.

02:59:30.000 From another organization, and I'm like, listen to me right now. 1.00

02:59:33.000 That guy is a motherfucking murderer. 1.00

02:59:35.000 You gotta put all the money on that guy. 1.00

02:59:37.000 One time, Arbery and I, with me as a pick, I think he was at 89% over a period of a couple of years. 0.99

02:59:46.000 I have such a shit record of picking fights. 0.75

02:59:48.000 Me and Matt used to do a thing at the end of Unfiltered where, hey, let's just try to guess the car. 1.00

02:59:53.000 I was fucking horrendous at it.

02:59:55.000 It's really hard to do. 0.98

02:59:56.000 It's hard.

02:59:56.000 Really hard.

02:59:57.000 Well, with some fights, you're just guessing.

03:00:00.000 With some fights, you're literally guessing.

03:00:02.000 You're just like, I don't know.

03:00:04.000 I don't know.

03:00:05.000 Tony Ferguson and Khabib, I'm guessing.

03:00:07.000 It's hard to bet against Khabib. 0.92

03:00:09.000 But it's hard to bet against Ferguson.

03:00:11.000 The last time Ferguson lost was when he got a broken arm versus Michael Johnson.

03:00:14.000 And he's run through world-class fighter after world-class fighter since then. 1.00

03:00:19.000 I think he's a fucking monster. 1.00

03:00:21.000 But I don't know. 1.00

03:00:22.000 I don't know who's going to win that fight.

03:00:23.000 I mean, it's...

03:00:24.000 Real hard to bet against Khabib. 0.94

03:00:26.000 Khabib's undefeated, 28-0, smashes everybody.

03:00:29.000 But Tony's got an interesting style.

03:00:30.000 He can fight off his back.

03:00:31.000 He fights on the ground.

03:00:33.000 He's not going to try to get back up.

03:00:34.000 He's going to attack off of his back.

03:00:35.000 Everybody loses sometimes.

03:00:37.000 I mean, most guys don't retire undefeated.

03:00:40.000 That's why I thought that one loss with Jones might have taken that pressure off him.

03:00:43.000 Look at Tai Tuivasa.

03:00:46.000 I want to say 8-0 at one point, and then he's lost three.

03:00:49.000 He's a great fighter, but...

03:00:50.000 It might get in your head a little bit.

03:00:52.000 It might be something that happens when you lose that first fight.

03:00:55.000 Well, you know, Ty's fighting the best in the world, you know, at heavyweight.

03:00:58.000 And at heavyweight, you can't make any mistakes, man.

03:01:00.000 Those giant dudes with big-ass fists come slamming on your head.

03:01:05.000 Especially the Ngannou. 0.96

03:01:07.000 Can't make any mistake.

03:01:08.000 That fight, I'm so curious.

03:01:10.000 Me too.

03:01:10.000 I would lean towards Ngannou, but I don't know how much.

03:01:15.000 Rosenstreich can fight, man.

03:01:16.000 He can fight. 0.99

03:01:17.000 He's nasty.

03:01:18.000 I want to see what it's like. 0.50

03:01:20.000 You know, look, I thought Ngannou had an edge over Derrick Lewis.

03:01:23.000 Derrick Lewis won that fight.

03:01:24.000 And I know that was Ngannou dealing with the worry after he had lost to Stipe and he was really psychologically had an issue.

03:01:31.000 Didn't fight his fight.

03:01:33.000 But Rosenstreich's a different animal, man.

03:01:35.000 Rosenstreich's a different animal than Derrick Lewis because he's a real seasoned professional kickboxer.

03:01:41.000 I'm going to take Ngannou only because of what he's done since that loss.

03:01:45.000 Those three...

03:01:45.000 I mean, I thought Blades actually stood a chance because he had that one fight where it was, I think, a doctor stoppage in the second.

03:01:51.000 So I'm like, he's taken Ngannou's punches before.

03:01:54.000 He may be in his head a little bit. 0.97

03:01:56.000 Fucking ran through him, Kane, and Junior, so I can't ever pick against Ngannou again until he loses again. 0.96

03:02:00.000 Well, he's better now than he's ever been before, and I think the loss to Stipe ultimately, I know he's struggled a little bit in the Derrick Lewis fight, but I think the loss to Stipe ultimately has made him a better fighter. 0.98

03:02:11.000 He just understands what it's like to lose.

03:02:13.000 He understands what it's like to face the best heavyweight on record ever in Stipe.

03:02:18.000 You know, he went five rounds with the GOAT. Stipe's the GOAT. Yeah, he is.

03:02:22.000 He's defended the title more than anybody that's ever done it in the history of the heavyweight division.

03:02:27.000 And having that kind of experience against a guy like Stipe, I think is fucking hugely valuable.

03:02:32.000 So I'm going to train. 0.69

03:02:33.000 The next time I see you, I will have trained.

03:02:35.000 I'm committing to it.

03:02:36.000 I've been committing for two years to Matt, but I'm committing that I'm going to do it.

03:02:39.000 Bourdain didn't start until he was 58. I know.

03:02:41.000 Yeah.

03:02:42.000 He got obsessed with it.

03:02:43.000 He loved it.

03:02:45.000 Loved it.

03:02:46.000 Loved it.

03:02:47.000 Dude, when I did his television show, he and I were rolling around in the dirt.

03:02:50.000 I was showing him positions.

03:02:52.000 And I was like, you got long arms.

03:02:53.000 Do you like Darcy's?

03:02:54.000 He's like, yeah, I got another move for you.

03:02:56.000 You know about the Japanese necktie.

03:02:57.000 We're going all these in the grass.

03:02:59.000 Like, I'm like, now from here, you got to turn it.

03:03:01.000 And we're doing all this stuff.

03:03:02.000 He was like obsessed.

03:03:02.000 He loved it.

03:03:03.000 He loved it.

03:03:05.000 Yeah, it was amazing to see because I had known him before when he was drinking and smoking and was fat and out of shape and taking statins because of his high blood pressure.

03:03:14.000 His cholesterol or blood pressure?

03:03:16.000 What are statins for?

03:03:18.000 Cholesterol, right?

03:03:19.000 Is that what it is?

03:03:20.000 Yeah.

03:03:21.000 His body was very unhealthy.

03:03:23.000 And the doctors gave him an option.

03:03:25.000 It's like, look, you can change the way you eat or take these statins.

03:03:28.000 And he decided to take statins.

03:03:31.000 Because he loved drinking and eating and stuff.

03:03:33.000 But then he got obsessed with jujitsu and he got off the medication and didn't need it anymore.

03:03:37.000 He lost all his weight, looked ripped.

03:03:39.000 You know, it was interesting.

03:03:41.000 And I think a lot of people that have addictive personalities, and he certainly did, they can benefit from something that you're addicted to that's really good.

03:03:48.000 Remember you saying that your mom used to say that to you?

03:03:50.000 You know, replace it with something better.

03:03:52.000 She left me a message.

03:03:55.000 Yeah.

03:04:04.000 Yeah.

03:04:05.000 Yeah.

03:04:06.000 Yeah.

03:04:09.000 She was right.

03:04:10.000 You just, you know, you got to replace one thing with the other.

03:04:12.000 The thing about going to the gym is sometimes you just go to the gym. 0.95

03:04:15.000 It's fucking boring and people quit. 0.96

03:04:17.000 They don't feel stimulated enough. 0.99

03:04:18.000 But if you take classes, that's when it's fun.

03:04:21.000 Yeah.

03:04:21.000 Like you take yoga classes or kickboxing classes or someone's teaching you things.

03:04:25.000 Then it becomes fun.

03:04:26.000 I just have two trainers.

03:04:28.000 Like I like having a trainer because it makes me go. 0.99

03:04:30.000 I have to show up because I'm like, oh, I'm fucking worthless. 0.87

03:04:33.000 That helps. 0.97

03:04:34.000 That helps.

03:04:35.000 Classes are good too, though, because a bunch of people are doing it with you.

03:04:37.000 Like, there's a bunch of people in there, and you're struggling.

03:04:39.000 I like yoga because of that, because we're all in it together, you know?

03:04:42.000 We're all struggling together.

03:04:44.000 I've done some yoga, but I just did a little bit.

03:04:46.000 I didn't have the patience for it.

03:04:47.000 You're breathing!

03:04:48.000 Focus on your breathing!

03:04:49.000 I don't know how to focus on my breathing. 0.88

03:04:50.000 My breathing sucks. 0.64

03:04:51.000 So, I can't breathe deep. 0.95

03:04:53.000 I don't do it right.

03:04:54.000 Your nose is jacked, yeah.

03:04:56.000 Terrible.

03:04:56.000 Get your nose fixed, homie.

03:04:57.000 I gotta wrap this up.

03:04:58.000 Alright, great, man.

03:04:59.000 It's four o'clock.

03:05:00.000 Listen, man.

03:05:01.000 Always a pleasure.

03:05:02.000 Yes.

03:05:02.000 Glad we did this.

03:05:03.000 Me too, buddy.

03:05:03.000 Every chance we can.

03:05:04.000 Can I ask people to watch The Degenerates on Netflix on season two and just go to my site.

03:05:10.000 I got a whole bunch.

03:05:10.000 Oh, and The Irishman.

03:05:11.000 They asked me to plug The Irishman.

03:05:13.000 Are you in The Irishman?

03:05:14.000 Yes.

03:05:14.000 I haven't seen it yet.

03:05:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:05:15.000 I played Don Rickles.

03:05:16.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

03:05:17.000 Do you really? 1.00

03:05:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:05:18.000 That's amazing.

03:05:19.000 I got one scene.

03:05:20.000 I gotta watch that movie.

03:05:22.000 Jim Norton on Instagram.

03:05:24.000 Jim Norton on Twitter.

03:05:25.000 JimNorton.com.

03:05:26.000 You got it.

03:05:26.000 Alright.

03:05:27.000 Love you, buddy.

03:05:27.000 I love you, man.

03:05:28.000 Thanks for having me.

03:05:29.000 Thanks for being here.

03:05:29.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 04, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1421 - Jim Norton

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Transcript