The Joe Rogan Experience - September 28, 2011


Joe Rogan Experience #143 - Mayhem Miller


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 51 minutes

Words per Minute

216.31241

Word Count

37,112

Sentence Count

3,903

Misogynist Sentences

102

Hate Speech Sentences

91


Summary

On this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys are joined by Ryan Parsons and Jason Mayhem Miller to discuss the upcoming UFC Fight Night event, UFC 246 at The Palms in Las Vegas on Dec. 3rd. They also talk about the history of the King of the Cage and how it's changed since the days of King Of the Cage. They also discuss the best seats in the house and the best places to watch fights in the world. They finish the episode with a quick Q&A with the guys and their thoughts on the UFC 246 and UFC 246. You won't want to miss this one! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's going on in the MMA world and what's to come in the future of the sport. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and we'll give you 15% off The Fleshlight! Cheers! -Joe Rogan and The Joe Rogans Experience Podcast Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by Zapsplat and tyops. We are part of the Native Creative Podcast Network. Our theme song is . and our ad music is by Skating With Myself. and is available on all major podcast directories, as well as on SoundCloud, too. Thank you for listening and supporting us! and sharing the podcast! Thank you so much for all the love and support we've gotten from you, folks! Love ya, bye, bye bye. -Jon Rogan. Jon & Rory, bye! -Jon & Rory! -Rory, -Bryan & Bryce, The Rogans. Thanks, Jon & Brian. Love, RYAN. . . -Sue, Matt, - Thank you, Jon and Brian, Mikey, Cheers, and Brett, XOXO, Brian, R. & the Crew, Kristy, Sarah, Sarah, Jake, Jake, & Sarah, and the Crew. , & Jake, EJ, , and the rest. ( ) , R.J. & Ryan, and R. & K. ( ) . , & the rest of the Crews, & Gorms, and all the rest! .


Transcript

00:00:01.000 It's going right now?
00:00:02.000 This is it!
00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:07.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:00:16.000 Oh boy.
00:00:18.000 Buckle up, bitches, because Mayhem Miller and our pal Ryan Parsons are here and we're going to get down to the nitty gritty.
00:00:26.000 We're going to dig deep.
00:00:27.000 We're going to figure out what the fuck is going down.
00:00:32.000 We're going to crack some shells and get some eggs of wisdom.
00:00:38.000 Ryan Parsons, ladies and gentlemen.
00:00:40.000 Ryan is a good buddy of ours and a training partner and manager and trainer of Jason Mayhem Miller.
00:00:47.000 Jason Mayhem Miller is one of my good friends from the crazy world of MMA. Don't call it crazy, bro.
00:00:57.000 It's like derogatory.
00:00:58.000 It's derogatory?
00:00:59.000 Crazy is good, son.
00:01:00.000 Look at your hair, boy.
00:01:02.000 Just make sure, you know.
00:01:03.000 Look at your image, son.
00:01:04.000 Come on, man.
00:01:05.000 You're selling it crazy.
00:01:07.000 That mayhem guy.
00:01:08.000 If you don't know who Mayhem is, he's also hosting this season of The Ultimate Fighter opposite Michael Bisping.
00:01:16.000 Looks like it's going to be an exciting season.
00:01:18.000 December 3rd, it's all going to go down.
00:01:22.000 Mayhem and Michael Bisping has a gold-old, old-fashioned fisticuffs.
00:01:28.000 They're going to get in there and take care of it.
00:01:30.000 December 3rd at the Hard Rock.
00:01:32.000 Or no, it's the Palms, which is the best place to see fights, bro.
00:01:36.000 If you've never been to the Palms.
00:01:37.000 It's going to sell out.
00:01:38.000 Get your ticket.
00:01:39.000 It's fucked for real.
00:01:40.000 We'll sell out quick.
00:01:41.000 But if you've never been there, literally the best place in the world to see fights.
00:01:44.000 The Palm, those rows, there's not a bad seat in the house.
00:01:48.000 It's really pitched at a severe angle with the seats.
00:01:53.000 Yeah, and they're like right next to the cage.
00:01:55.000 Gladiator Stadium.
00:01:56.000 Oh, it's fucking amazing.
00:01:57.000 It's the best seats ever, for sure, for MMA. Everybody that...
00:02:01.000 Right?
00:02:01.000 You agree, Brian.
00:02:02.000 You've been to a bunch of fights there, right?
00:02:03.000 Oh, yeah.
00:02:04.000 It's tight.
00:02:04.000 It's like the perfect size.
00:02:06.000 You could actually hear every noise.
00:02:08.000 Dude, it's like a private MMA fight with your friends.
00:02:10.000 Even though it's like 3,000 people or 4,000 people or something in there, whatever it is, it's the best environment for fights.
00:02:16.000 It's the perfect size.
00:02:17.000 And they give you a smaller cage, too.
00:02:18.000 I feel like I can't even say anything about it.
00:02:20.000 You know you're fighting in a smaller cage.
00:02:22.000 Awesome.
00:02:22.000 Yeah, it's a smaller cage.
00:02:24.000 It's the WEC size cage.
00:02:25.000 Really?
00:02:26.000 Yeah.
00:02:26.000 We use a smaller cage because it's a smaller venue.
00:02:29.000 It's more difficult to...
00:02:30.000 We don't have like...
00:02:31.000 I'm sure there's parameters that they won't go past, but the cage is not always the same size.
00:02:37.000 We have two cages.
00:02:38.000 There's a smaller cage and there's a larger cage.
00:02:40.000 Like the king of the cage size.
00:02:42.000 Really?
00:02:42.000 No, the king of the cage is probably a little smaller.
00:02:44.000 Back in the day, you watched the king of the cage.
00:02:45.000 That king of the cage is tiny, right?
00:02:46.000 No, man.
00:02:47.000 It was like fighting in a phone booth.
00:02:48.000 I saw that.
00:02:49.000 I saw the guys, I'm like, man, they were like just standing.
00:02:51.000 It's like one step and you're right there on the guy.
00:02:54.000 That was, back in the day, that was janky, man.
00:02:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:02:57.000 It was like literally, and then shit would break and then shit like they had a wet and wild show.
00:03:02.000 Wet and wild is just going to bring it up, yes.
00:03:02.000 Like they were fighting in the rain.
00:03:04.000 I remember going out there.
00:03:05.000 And thinking, you know, King of the Cage is cool, but even when I was a kid, I was like, man, I don't know if I want to fight in this.
00:03:11.000 So silly.
00:03:12.000 I mean, I like how the regulations came where things are better now, but back in the day, it was like, ah, whatever.
00:03:18.000 Oh, that's cool.
00:03:18.000 Just put some hay down.
00:03:20.000 They can fight right there.
00:03:21.000 But the way I always looked at it is the King of the Cage, they provided a very useful service.
00:03:25.000 Oh, absolutely.
00:03:25.000 They got a lot of guys fights.
00:03:26.000 I mean, even if it's kind of a weird organization, they're doing everything sketchy style on Indian casinos only.
00:03:32.000 Because when they were doing it, they kept having fights even when it wasn't regulated.
00:03:35.000 It was because they were having fights on these Indian casinos.
00:03:37.000 Yeah.
00:03:38.000 If they weren't doing that, how many guys wouldn't have gotten gigs?
00:03:40.000 How many guys wouldn't have gotten some experience?
00:03:43.000 I don't think that people should fight on the water, that Wet and Wild King of the Cage, if you've never seen it, folks.
00:03:49.000 Have you ever seen it?
00:03:50.000 No, but I've heard of it.
00:03:51.000 It's fucking crazy.
00:03:52.000 Guys are throwing kicks and just falling on their ass like there's no way you could throw a kick.
00:03:57.000 You could barely throw a punch.
00:03:58.000 As you move forward, it was literally like some crazy hot oil wrestling sort of a situation.
00:04:03.000 Did they only do it once?
00:04:04.000 Wet and Wild.
00:04:06.000 Did they only do it once?
00:04:07.000 Yeah, they only did it once.
00:04:08.000 But, you know, other organizations have had fights in the rain, too.
00:04:10.000 I know one did recently.
00:04:12.000 I forget what it was, but not like this.
00:04:14.000 This is the most of it.
00:04:15.000 It's like snow football.
00:04:15.000 We've been there with a whole cage floor breaks.
00:04:17.000 Yeah, I was just...
00:04:18.000 Hey, Chael Stoddard slammed me into the floor one time.
00:04:21.000 When we were, like, 19, we fought way back in the day.
00:04:24.000 And he slammed me.
00:04:26.000 Oh, this is a good one.
00:04:28.000 And he slammed me into the floor.
00:04:29.000 The floor broke through with both of us down through the...
00:04:32.000 I'm like, uh...
00:04:33.000 How do you keep fighting?
00:04:34.000 I know!
00:04:35.000 It was a weird thing where we stood back and the referee was like, wait over there in that corner.
00:04:40.000 I'm like, what are they going to do right now?
00:04:41.000 I was like, this is a weird situation.
00:04:44.000 I'm sure he was thinking the same thing.
00:04:46.000 I'm like, what the hell?
00:04:47.000 And then the referee comes back and is like...
00:04:50.000 Okay, this side of the floor is broken.
00:04:52.000 Just stay out of that area.
00:04:53.000 And then had us fight again.
00:04:55.000 I was like, alright.
00:04:56.000 And then it was like a gentleman's agreement during the fight.
00:04:58.000 Like, we would circle over to that way.
00:05:00.000 And then we both stopped kind of.
00:05:01.000 We were like, alright, over here, over here, over here.
00:05:03.000 It was weird.
00:05:04.000 It was like a street fight.
00:05:05.000 It was like a street fight.
00:05:06.000 Don't go by the metal thing.
00:05:08.000 Don't go by the metal thing.
00:05:09.000 Like that Kimbo fact, the famous one with the satellite dish in the backyard.
00:05:13.000 It was the same spirit of, all right, we're going to punch each other's fucking face, but watch out for that thing.
00:05:19.000 You know, I still get asked about Kimbo all the time.
00:05:21.000 He's like the number one fighter I get asked about.
00:05:24.000 When I do weird radio stations, yeah, like if I don't know the people and I call up and they start talking about fighters, almost always, whatever happened to that Kimbo slice?
00:05:32.000 That guy was the backyard brawler.
00:05:35.000 What was it about him that...
00:05:37.000 He connected like that.
00:05:38.000 He's black with a big crazy beard and he seemed cool even though he's beating the fuck out of people.
00:05:42.000 He was kind of a nice guy.
00:05:43.000 Like he shakes their hands afterwards and he's cool.
00:05:45.000 So it's like you kind of can root for him and he just goes out there and beats on people, man.
00:05:50.000 The one fight where he let that dude punch him in the face, he was going, come on, come on!
00:05:53.000 The dude was hitting him in the face.
00:05:54.000 It was legendary.
00:05:55.000 It's like, god damn!
00:05:56.000 I mean, if that carried over in the MMA, could you fucking imagine if he was really dominating dudes?
00:06:02.000 It could have.
00:06:03.000 You could have put him against dudes he could beat up.
00:06:06.000 They tried, but he was such a gap in the wrestling area that he couldn't do it.
00:06:13.000 It's also not like boxing.
00:06:14.000 This is my feeling on that.
00:06:16.000 I don't think the guy's afraid to fight, and I don't think the guy's afraid to learn.
00:06:19.000 But you can only learn so much.
00:06:21.000 And I think if you're in a situation like a boxing situation, they would take a guy who's a prospect.
00:06:26.000 And people who would be intelligent people that were thinking about the future would invest time and money in this guy and slowly build him up.
00:06:32.000 Slowly give him the fights that he needs to make him look good, the fights that he needs to test his wrestling.
00:06:38.000 Yeah, of course.
00:06:38.000 But the guy's older, you just gotta put him right in there.
00:06:41.000 Let's do this.
00:06:42.000 It's also that mixed martial arts model is very different than the boxing model.
00:06:45.000 The mixed martial arts model is get in there and if you get offered a shot at the title, fucking go for it.
00:06:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:50.000 That makes sense.
00:06:51.000 It makes it more exciting for the fans, actually.
00:06:54.000 Yeah.
00:06:54.000 Yeah, it's like a more hectic breakneck pace.
00:06:56.000 The little storyline, if you want to call it that, they go.
00:07:00.000 All of a sudden, this is happening, this is happening.
00:07:02.000 Oh, I'm checking out my Google.
00:07:03.000 Everyone gets involved with the sport.
00:07:05.000 Like Shamar Bailey.
00:07:06.000 You know who Shamar Bailey is?
00:07:07.000 No.
00:07:08.000 The kid was on The Ultimate Fighter.
00:07:09.000 Oh, yeah.
00:07:09.000 Really good wrestler.
00:07:10.000 Very athletic kid.
00:07:12.000 His first fucking official fight in the UFC, Evan Dono.
00:07:16.000 Oh yeah, tough guy.
00:07:17.000 Evan Dunham, he was like a couple steps away from the title shot.
00:07:20.000 I mean, Evan Dunham is a high-level guy.
00:07:23.000 And Shamar, I mean, it was a tough fucking fight.
00:07:26.000 A real tough fight, because Shamar Bailey is tough as shit, dude.
00:07:29.000 The guy took a ton of punches to the face.
00:07:31.000 But it was like real obvious that he really shouldn't be fighting a guy at this level yet.
00:07:35.000 He should be building up to that level, right?
00:07:38.000 Yeah, well...
00:07:39.000 That's up to their manager, right?
00:07:40.000 That's what I was going to ask you.
00:07:43.000 How do you make that decision?
00:07:45.000 There's a decision where you've got to test him, you've got to see what happens, and then there's the other school of thought where, no, you've got to make sure that you know exactly what level he's at, and know exactly what level the opponent's at, so you can ensure that he's going to have a long career, or you can ensure that he develops properly.
00:08:00.000 How do you break that down in your head?
00:08:01.000 There's so many variables there.
00:08:03.000 Socaju is a great example.
00:08:05.000 First off, he wasn't making any money, so he couldn't really train properly.
00:08:09.000 Over a 10-week period, we had five fights fall through.
00:08:13.000 People look him up and go, nope, I'm not fighting this guy.
00:08:16.000 Yeah, and if you don't know who Sogiju is, he's a fucking crazy powerful judo dude who made a big splash in pride.
00:08:23.000 In pride, everybody thought he was going to be the second coming.
00:08:26.000 When he knocked out Hegerio with a wrist, he like wrist him in the face.
00:08:30.000 I heard you say this before.
00:08:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:32.000 Dude, yeah.
00:08:33.000 We were talking about this weekend.
00:08:34.000 We were talking about...
00:08:35.000 We were talking about tough guys that somehow or another just didn't click for them.
00:08:41.000 They just start off real good.
00:08:43.000 Like the Arona fight.
00:08:44.000 Goddamn, when he knocked out Arona.
00:08:45.000 Jesus fucking Christ.
00:08:47.000 It was like, who's going to stop this guy?
00:08:49.000 He looked like this freak athlete, man.
00:08:52.000 When he hit Arona with that uppercut and blasted him backwards to put him out, I was like, Jesus.
00:08:57.000 He's a fucking threat.
00:08:59.000 But then it just doesn't happen, man.
00:09:01.000 He gets in there against top-level competition, and he just can't keep it together.
00:09:07.000 Well, that was top-level competition, those two fights.
00:09:09.000 Arona was probably a top three or four guy at that time.
00:09:13.000 Yeah, totally.
00:09:14.000 Why do you think there was a big difference between when he fought in Pride and when he fought in the United States?
00:09:19.000 I think that, and Jace can speak to this too, I think the experience of getting famous and the pressure that comes with winning big fights is a lot.
00:09:29.000 I know I've asked.
00:09:34.000 He's not going to give you easy fights to go along.
00:09:37.000 You go to the UFC, you have to be prepared to fight anybody.
00:09:39.000 That's what makes it cool.
00:09:41.000 Nobody gets brought along there.
00:09:42.000 Either you're going to go make it or you're not.
00:09:44.000 We're going to find out real quick, and this is why we all get so excited about it.
00:09:48.000 That is one way to look at it, but the other way to look at it is that if a fighter wanted to develop to his utmost, the best way to do it would be to engineer it.
00:09:55.000 And that someone, you know...
00:09:57.000 Would be able to...
00:09:58.000 Look, I'm just playing devil's advocate.
00:10:00.000 Obviously, I support the UFC way of doing it.
00:10:03.000 Even talking on the ultimate fighter, watch tonight.
00:10:09.000 We picked the fighters.
00:10:12.000 We picked the fighters.
00:10:13.000 And this first episode builds up to the first fight in the house.
00:10:18.000 Now, picking the correct fight and the correct fighters, you always want to try to get your guy a path.
00:10:24.000 But guess what?
00:10:25.000 When the competition is high, there is no path necessarily.
00:10:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:10:30.000 But styles do make fights.
00:10:33.000 If you want to get your fighter to fight this dude, because more than likely his style is going to prevail.
00:10:40.000 But mixed martial arts, anything can happen.
00:10:43.000 That night is a different night.
00:10:45.000 You know what I mean?
00:10:46.000 How frustrating is that coaching guys?
00:10:48.000 What is that like?
00:10:49.000 I liked it a lot, but it gave me a newfound respect for Ryan's job.
00:10:53.000 I was like, Ryan's just got to yell at me.
00:10:55.000 I was like, whatever.
00:10:56.000 He's just fucking telling me to ground and pound.
00:10:58.000 I got it, bro.
00:10:59.000 Just tell me what to do.
00:11:00.000 Once you do it, you're like, oh, God, this is my whole brain.
00:11:06.000 Why am I thinking about this dude in the shower?
00:11:09.000 When I'm in the shower, I'm thinking about, oh, man.
00:11:11.000 I gotta teach this guy this move, or I gotta make sure he does this.
00:11:14.000 I'm like, oh, why am I stressing?
00:11:16.000 Like, it's my kids.
00:11:17.000 It never ends.
00:11:17.000 Yeah, but man, you only gotta do it with one dude, man.
00:11:21.000 You're lucky.
00:11:23.000 You gotta really focus on me.
00:11:25.000 But Jason said, too, when you start looking at styles and how these things match up, go back to Sokuju.
00:11:30.000 It was a safe fight for us because he got paid decent and he had no money.
00:11:33.000 And we were paying him every month.
00:11:35.000 Couldn't get any fights.
00:11:36.000 Yeah.
00:11:37.000 We looked at, what's his name, Rogerio, and said, okay, he's got good boxing.
00:11:43.000 We're pretty confident on soca juice boxing.
00:11:46.000 The game plan was the fight.
00:11:48.000 We did that same thing over and over again for six weeks.
00:11:51.000 With the thought being is, you'll take him down to the ground.
00:11:54.000 Worst case scenario for him here is he'll get submitted.
00:11:56.000 Well, he's not supposed to win anyways.
00:11:58.000 He's not going to get hurt.
00:11:59.000 He makes a bunch of money.
00:12:00.000 He gets his name out there.
00:12:02.000 And we thought that he was going to go win that fight, too.
00:12:04.000 So you start to look at who's the matchup's going to be, how those styles match up against each other, upside and downside, and weigh it out.
00:12:10.000 Same King Mo when he fought in Sengoku the first time.
00:12:14.000 Took a fight against Travis Few on six days' notice.
00:12:17.000 Well, I knew what Mo was capable of, and Travis Yu wasn't a dangerous threat on his feet.
00:12:22.000 He wasn't going to submit Mo from his back, go out there and shoot a double leg.
00:12:25.000 In my mind there, the worst case scenario was, okay, he'll have a boring fight and he'll be labeled a boring wrestler.
00:12:30.000 You know, no one wants to see him.
00:12:32.000 But for what they paid him a lot of money for that fight, risk or reward, it made a lot of sense.
00:12:37.000 It's also hard for guys when they first break in from other sports, too, right?
00:12:41.000 I mean, how hard is it for a guy like Mo, who comes in from wrestling and is, you know, just elite, at an elite level of wrestling, and then now all of a sudden he's got to deal with striking, now all of a sudden he's got to deal with shit that maybe he's not as good at, you know, as his key moves, you know?
00:12:59.000 It just depends on the guy.
00:13:01.000 I mean, Jason would probably speak that better than I can.
00:13:04.000 What?
00:13:04.000 I don't even know what the hell you guys are talking about.
00:13:06.000 I just want to dance, Joe Rogan.
00:13:08.000 I just want to dance.
00:13:10.000 Don't we all, Steve?
00:13:11.000 Right?
00:13:11.000 Like, just out of nowhere.
00:13:12.000 Look, it's very rare that anybody gets into the mindset of a manager.
00:13:16.000 Someone who trains fighters and someone who coaches guys.
00:13:19.000 It's a very intimate relationship that you guys have.
00:13:21.000 Man, are you kidding me?
00:13:22.000 This guy's like my brother.
00:13:24.000 I want to beat him up all the time, but I want to hug him all the time, too.
00:13:28.000 If it wasn't him, it wouldn't be you, right?
00:13:29.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:13:31.000 It's a hot match.
00:13:32.000 Huh?
00:13:33.000 It's an odd match, but it's funny most of the time.
00:13:36.000 It's funny.
00:13:36.000 It's a reality show.
00:13:37.000 The Ultimate Fighter Season 14. For you, Ryan, I've known you for years, man.
00:13:41.000 It's got to be a maddening job at times, right?
00:13:46.000 I like the chaos of it.
00:13:48.000 It's how my brain works.
00:13:49.000 What I finally discover I'm really good at is taking a whole bunch of shit, putting it together, and making it all work really well.
00:13:55.000 Yeah, he's pretty good at that.
00:13:57.000 So think of what MMA does.
00:13:58.000 And especially for Jason, I have a huge creative side.
00:14:00.000 So especially in Japan, you get to sometimes...
00:14:03.000 Whatever, you do it here too, bro.
00:14:04.000 We have like cool, like creative outs, like where we just like, oh, hey dude, what about this idea?
00:14:10.000 Go look at mayhemmonkeys.com.
00:14:12.000 That's right.
00:14:13.000 Oh yeah, mayhemmonkeys.com.
00:14:14.000 What's our latest one?
00:14:15.000 I really respect your opinion on MMA, and when you and I have conversations about stuff, I don't think we ever disagree.
00:14:20.000 It's very, very rare.
00:14:22.000 Like, occasionally...
00:14:23.000 If we do, it's because I'm hating and don't want to admit something.
00:14:26.000 To the Jon Jones one, you finally gave in on Jon Jones.
00:14:29.000 You gotta give in.
00:14:31.000 He's a freak.
00:14:33.000 Let's all admit when I'm wrong.
00:14:34.000 I don't have a problem with it.
00:14:35.000 That's a Superman.
00:14:37.000 That's the Ubermunch.
00:14:39.000 That's a dude who's just on another level.
00:14:41.000 That's ridiculous shit.
00:14:42.000 You know when you do that to Mayhem after you're fucking training for four years?
00:14:46.000 Yeah, he's pretty badass.
00:14:47.000 I mean, not Mayhem rather.
00:14:48.000 Shit, not me.
00:14:49.000 I didn't bite him.
00:14:50.000 I know, Rampage Mayhem, that's pretty damn easy.
00:14:52.000 When you look at a guy like that, that's why you want to stay at 185. Yeah, he's a tough-ass bastard.
00:14:57.000 He cuts down from a good amount of weight.
00:14:59.000 He looks sucked down at the weigh-in, and then he looks swole the next day.
00:15:03.000 I'm like, wow, that's a good weight cut.
00:15:05.000 He does a good job of cutting weight.
00:15:06.000 And he's fucking good.
00:15:07.000 Yeah, he's a beast.
00:15:09.000 But he's like a big, long, Dude, like, he does, like, weird, lanky guy shit at 205. Oh, man, thank you, bro.
00:15:15.000 I was getting annoyed at my voice.
00:15:17.000 Microphone's down here, though.
00:15:19.000 Where?
00:15:20.000 Remember that shit I was telling you, and you were like, oh, this is the most boring thing you've ever said in your life?
00:15:23.000 Oh, yeah!
00:15:24.000 What was that about?
00:15:25.000 That was me telling the microphone's down here.
00:15:27.000 Where is it?
00:15:28.000 Where's the microphone?
00:15:29.000 Before the show started, I was showing him where the microphone was.
00:15:31.000 No, but you said it like this.
00:15:33.000 You were like a robot.
00:15:34.000 I've ever heard in my life.
00:15:35.000 He was like, I even started singing Super Mario Brothers.
00:15:38.000 So you say I should spice it up a little?
00:15:38.000 Yeah, you gotta spice it up.
00:15:40.000 No, but this is how he was talking.
00:15:41.000 He was like, hey guys, okay, so...
00:15:46.000 This is a different level of ADD you're dealing with.
00:15:49.000 Yeah, right?
00:15:50.000 This level of ADD. The microphone is down at the bottom.
00:15:53.000 You have to grip it like it's a cock and just start sucking the ball.
00:15:56.000 Oh, wow.
00:15:57.000 Why did you cut both balls?
00:15:59.000 I look experienced.
00:16:00.000 It turned me on a little bit.
00:16:02.000 Oh, bro, I could talk like this anyway.
00:16:05.000 Yeah, Lord have mercy.
00:16:06.000 That's right.
00:16:07.000 Lord have mercy.
00:16:08.000 Okay, let's try to pretend that people are actually listening.
00:16:10.000 Whatever, people are listening to squirt bottles sometimes, I think.
00:16:13.000 You two together make one awesome dude.
00:16:16.000 We should date.
00:16:22.000 You're actually kind of like girls I like to date, though.
00:16:25.000 Big crazy bitches?
00:16:26.000 Very insane.
00:16:28.000 Crowned to being arrested.
00:16:30.000 Oh, really?
00:16:32.000 You want to date my sister?
00:16:35.000 Are you holding it sideways like a gangster now?
00:16:37.000 Your microphone's to the side.
00:16:39.000 I just like that I spit rhymes into this mic.
00:16:42.000 Sorry, Joe Rogan looks hurt.
00:16:45.000 You're Joey Diaz-ing him.
00:16:47.000 Am I? Why?
00:16:48.000 Why?
00:16:48.000 What's the matter?
00:16:51.000 Mad Flavors, stay blocked!
00:16:53.000 Joey Diaz will get mad at you for not having pencils.
00:16:55.000 You don't have fucking pencils in your house!
00:16:57.000 Joe Rogan, how the fuck do you write something down?
00:16:59.000 He'll find something and you will not be able to let it go.
00:17:02.000 You gotta let him just ride out that storm and crash that.
00:17:04.000 You don't have fucking pencils in your house.
00:17:06.000 No, the first time he did it, to me, I was confused.
00:17:09.000 I was like, are you really angry or are you joking?
00:17:11.000 I was like, are you joking?
00:17:12.000 Are you really angry?
00:17:13.000 I was like, oh shit, he's really angry right now about something stupid.
00:17:16.000 But no, just for a moment, he just goes into a blast.
00:17:20.000 I understand that dude a little bit.
00:17:22.000 I feel like he's awesome.
00:17:23.000 Yeah, he's just got to let it out sometimes.
00:17:25.000 Yeah, just scream in your car in traffic for no reason.
00:17:28.000 Just scream to the top of your lungs.
00:17:30.000 All the most fun people are crazy.
00:17:32.000 You just got to figure out what their crazy is and maneuver around it.
00:17:36.000 Try to let them know.
00:17:37.000 You know that's there, right?
00:17:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
00:17:39.000 Okay.
00:17:41.000 Keep your crazy slut.
00:17:42.000 Hey, Joe, I interviewed Brody today.
00:17:44.000 Brody Stevens?
00:17:45.000 Brody Stevens, he walked us through.
00:17:46.000 Get out of here!
00:17:47.000 Me and Esther.
00:17:47.000 At home?
00:17:48.000 At your house?
00:17:49.000 Yeah, and we went through the whole entire thing from start to finish.
00:17:51.000 For folks who don't know, why don't you explain what happened?
00:17:53.000 Because Brody Stevens was a friend.
00:17:55.000 I know.
00:17:55.000 I know about this.
00:17:56.000 This is crazy.
00:17:56.000 Tell us what happened.
00:17:57.000 Brody pretty much got sick when he was performing, and he decided to take medicine to help strep throat and a couple things, and he stopped taking his other medicine, which was Lexapro.
00:18:09.000 Yeah.
00:18:09.000 And he came back to the United States, was still sick, still taking antibiotics, but wasn't taking his medication, and then started to go on the...
00:18:18.000 He went on TMZ and hosted TMZ for a week, or a day.
00:18:23.000 So he was on TMZ as the host.
00:18:26.000 He took over Harvey's spot for the day.
00:18:28.000 And then, the next day, he was having all this positive energy about being on tour on TMZ. And he started to, like, go to people at Starbucks that were angry or mean or had negative energy and would call them out on their shit.
00:18:41.000 And then there was a video where he called out a gangbanger kid that was hanging out in front of 7-Eleven scaring girls.
00:18:47.000 And so there's a video of him filming, like, using his phone, filming, like, hey...
00:18:54.000 He was pretty much attacking negative people.
00:18:57.000 And what happened is it got kind of spinned out of control.
00:19:00.000 He was having a manic episode and he got committed into a hospital.
00:19:05.000 He weighed time out.
00:19:06.000 He was...
00:19:07.000 Negative people?
00:19:08.000 Were they all negative?
00:19:10.000 Or is he just like, you know what I mean?
00:19:11.000 Like, people are complicated characters.
00:19:13.000 It's very interesting.
00:19:14.000 We went really into detail.
00:19:16.000 Because one of the things, he went to Starbucks and did it.
00:19:18.000 Like, where this guy was like...
00:19:20.000 Well, I think when you're saying negative people, it's just what Brody thought.
00:19:23.000 Exactly!
00:19:24.000 Like, some people could just be a dude trying to get a fucking cup of coffee looking like a gangster.
00:19:28.000 We're establishing that Brody went crazy.
00:19:30.000 Yeah, he pretty much went crazy.
00:19:31.000 I know, but he said it like it wasn't that crazy.
00:19:33.000 No!
00:19:33.000 No, no, no.
00:19:34.000 You know, let me finish.
00:19:35.000 No, because what I said is that if I was at Starbucks and you just started talking to me saying, hey, I like your shoes and stuff, I might not have said what made him go crazy, what the guy said to him, which was, please don't talk to me.
00:19:45.000 I would have said, like, you know, kind of amused it for a while and then stopped talking or, you know, kind of ignored him.
00:19:50.000 But he, it was very interesting to listen to and now he's on, changed his medication and now he seems like a very relaxed, like, kind of like he's dissecting himself character.
00:20:02.000 We did this really cool interview today.
00:20:04.000 It's going to be up later tonight.
00:20:05.000 Really?
00:20:05.000 I can't wait to look at this because I'm really interested in this.
00:20:08.000 For me, mental illness is the most interesting thing on earth.
00:20:13.000 Everyone has some form or some variance of the normal human beings.
00:20:18.000 And to see this kind of thing, to see where this guy had the super creative burst of, I mean, what is that?
00:20:25.000 That's crazy that we don't think about that more.
00:20:29.000 A lot of people can, if you're smart and have a mental illness, you can shift the world into a different way of thinking.
00:20:36.000 I have a theory about that.
00:20:37.000 I have a theory about human behavior in general when it comes to that.
00:20:40.000 I think one of the reasons why we're so unstable, I think it's almost engineered to make sure that we keep moving and that more things get done.
00:20:47.000 Because I think that when things are stable and when people are at rest and at peace and calm, not much gets done.
00:20:54.000 Oh really?
00:20:54.000 Like mutations.
00:20:55.000 Yeah, I think one of the reasons why people fuck their own lives up is there's almost like a pull.
00:21:01.000 The universe has a pull for you to fuck up just so you keep making mistakes and keep moving things in the same direction.
00:21:07.000 Make sure that things keep moving.
00:21:09.000 Your relationship's always going to fuck up.
00:21:11.000 Your jobs are always going to fuck up.
00:21:12.000 There's always going to be chaos.
00:21:14.000 There's always going to be things that go wrong, constantly.
00:21:15.000 And it's because that's the only way things stay moving.
00:21:18.000 The only way things stay moving is you have to be flexible and pliable as the world falls apart all around you.
00:21:24.000 Your success is dependent on how you deal with that, though.
00:21:27.000 Yes, exactly.
00:21:27.000 I was just having this discussion last night.
00:21:29.000 It's inevitable.
00:21:32.000 You either sink or swim.
00:21:33.000 Like you're going to hit the bad lottery sometimes and get robbed outside your hometown.
00:21:38.000 That can happen.
00:21:39.000 But I think that we're programmed to do that.
00:21:41.000 No, but I'm saying that bad stuff, you're going to hit the lottery sometimes, but you just got to power through and just drive through this negative stuff, this negative stop on your road.
00:21:49.000 Learn from everything.
00:21:50.000 I'm convinced one part of self-destruction, not the whole part, that one part is if you're not growing or progressing in life, you do something to create that chaos where you have to do something to break through.
00:22:00.000 Absolutely.
00:22:00.000 Wow.
00:22:01.000 Yeah, that's a good way to say it.
00:22:02.000 You and I have had that conversation a couple of times before, and I always admire the way you see it.
00:22:07.000 And it really is that you will set yourself up.
00:22:11.000 You will give yourself shit to think about.
00:22:13.000 Now, what you do with that is depend on, do you crash like you're friended, or do you use that for awareness and growth and your life goes to a new place?
00:22:20.000 You really can't ever stop growing.
00:22:23.000 You can't.
00:22:23.000 If you think you stop growing, you're going to fuck yourself.
00:22:26.000 If you say, this is it, I'm done, I'm just not even going to think about things anymore, I'm not going to try, I'm just going to relax, and you're going to get cancer.
00:22:35.000 Damn!
00:22:35.000 Some shit's going to go wrong.
00:22:36.000 Damn it!
00:22:37.000 Everything's going great for me!
00:22:39.000 I think I'm just going to get married, have some dogs, you know, just chill out a little bit.
00:22:43.000 Nope, you got cancer, bitch!
00:22:44.000 You're going to get bored and you're going to die.
00:22:46.000 You've got to keep moving, you've got to excite yourself, you've got to stimulate shit.
00:22:51.000 You know what I'm going to start doing?
00:22:51.000 I'm going to start going fishing.
00:22:53.000 Why?
00:22:53.000 Because I don't go fishing, and people are fucking into it.
00:22:55.000 And I went to Lake Estate the other day, and they're catching 25-pound striped bass.
00:22:59.000 And I'm like, I want to catch a fucking 25-pound striped bass.
00:23:02.000 Boom.
00:23:03.000 More excitement.
00:23:04.000 More good stuff.
00:23:05.000 That's what you got to do, man.
00:23:06.000 You got to keep shit moving.
00:23:08.000 The smart people choose it, though.
00:23:10.000 Yes.
00:23:11.000 Well, you've got to kind of engineer your consciousness to a certain extent, or to a certain extent.
00:23:16.000 There's a lot of people that purposely surround themselves with exciting things, because they're like, fuck, I want life to be exciting.
00:23:22.000 I want to go, even dumb shit, I want to go run with the bulls.
00:23:26.000 Running with the bulls is a perfect example of how people will insert excitement into their life that makes absolutely no sense.
00:23:32.000 I get it too.
00:23:33.000 I've never done it and I probably would though.
00:23:35.000 It's not my thing.
00:23:36.000 If I was there and I was hammered and I was pretty sure I could fucking run fast, I might do it.
00:23:41.000 I might do it.
00:23:41.000 No, I might not.
00:23:42.000 No, I wouldn't do it.
00:23:43.000 I would get real close and then I think ultimately I'd hear the bulls and I'd go, what the fuck am I doing?
00:23:47.000 I'd climb a wall.
00:23:48.000 Whatever, bro.
00:23:49.000 You wouldn't I would run.
00:23:51.000 Whatever.
00:23:51.000 You would.
00:23:52.000 I could hold you there.
00:23:53.000 I would be like, no dude bro, let's just do it.
00:23:55.000 Let's just do it.
00:23:55.000 You probably could hold me and I would ask you to please not.
00:23:57.000 I'd be like, just wait until we at least see the bull.
00:24:00.000 They're coming, they're coming.
00:24:01.000 Bro, you're not even wearing a red sash.
00:24:03.000 Who runs faster?
00:24:04.000 You're a bull.
00:24:05.000 I would have to say a bull.
00:24:06.000 Yeah, no shit.
00:24:07.000 100%.
00:24:07.000 Yeah, but you gotta fucking dodge.
00:24:10.000 That's the whole thing.
00:24:10.000 Jump out into the street.
00:24:12.000 Yeah, you gotta jump or run away from it.
00:24:13.000 I've seen some people that didn't dodge though, man, and that shit looks so unfun.
00:24:16.000 But that's the point.
00:24:17.000 You You don't want to be that guy.
00:24:19.000 I understand.
00:24:20.000 Right?
00:24:20.000 Like, sometimes it's going to happen, but you just don't want to be that guy.
00:24:23.000 It's like skydiving or bungee diving.
00:24:24.000 And if you did, you probably won't die.
00:24:27.000 And you'll just have a scar and be like, yo, I got hit by a bull.
00:24:30.000 Like, whatever.
00:24:31.000 It would be badass.
00:24:32.000 Either way, you slice it.
00:24:33.000 Do you ever see that one video of the bull just throwing the dude around like a rag doll on a cobblestone street over and over?
00:24:39.000 The guy's head's just flying up and bunking down while he's unconscious, knocking down the stones.
00:24:45.000 Joe Rogan has a fear of animals.
00:24:46.000 It's irrational.
00:24:47.000 It's irrational.
00:24:49.000 A friend of mine from Colorado, our friend Ash, Casey Atchison, just sent us a picture of a mountain lion that jacked a deer near his house.
00:24:57.000 I know, but that happens all the time.
00:24:59.000 150 pound cat and a dead thing that runs way faster than you or I. Watch his face, Ryan.
00:25:04.000 He's so into it when he's talking about it.
00:25:06.000 Like he gets so, he like views, he can see the claws coming at him.
00:25:11.000 I can tell that.
00:25:12.000 You know why?
00:25:12.000 I've eaten a pot and gone to the zoo a bunch of times.
00:25:17.000 That's why.
00:25:17.000 Oh really?
00:25:18.000 It gives you a different perspective.
00:25:21.000 When you're actually there with the animal, there's one thing like watching DVDs when you're baked, that's important, you know, it's huge.
00:25:27.000 But watching real animals, like a real animal in person when you're high, you get a completely different insight.
00:25:35.000 When you actually see a tiger, it's right there, and you're looking at it, and you're looking at its paws, and you're looking at its body, and you're thinking of an American house cat.
00:25:43.000 And how fucking badass those little things are.
00:25:46.000 I mean, if a 25-pound house cat wanted to kill you, you'd be terrified.
00:25:49.000 You'd be fucking running like crazy.
00:25:50.000 But a fucking 500-pound tiger, man.
00:25:53.000 And when you get really baked and you're right next to that animal, it's almost as close to that animal attacking you as you can get.
00:26:01.000 What's standing on the other side of the glass?
00:26:04.000 Bullshit.
00:26:04.000 It's as close as you can get without dying or getting attacked.
00:26:07.000 Whatever, dude.
00:26:08.000 People do that on Wild Kingdom all the time.
00:26:10.000 Fuck.
00:26:11.000 I'm saying, bro!
00:26:12.000 I'm saying, bro!
00:26:13.000 What was the last time Wild Kingdom was on the air?
00:26:15.000 I know, that's what I said.
00:26:16.000 Museum of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
00:26:19.000 Remember that?
00:26:20.000 Who's that dude?
00:26:21.000 I don't know.
00:26:21.000 I remember the reruns on Saturday morning and shit.
00:26:25.000 I remember that.
00:26:26.000 No, but I just feel like...
00:26:29.000 Those animals are from a different planet.
00:26:31.000 I don't have that fear like, oh my god, this thing can kill me.
00:26:33.000 I just think, man, look at this thing.
00:26:34.000 I know that I'm far enough away from all that stuff.
00:26:37.000 So I totally take away and go, man, this looks like it's from a different planet or a different time.
00:26:42.000 Like a giraffe, when you look close at it, you're like, that thing is alien.
00:26:47.000 Because it has weird spots.
00:26:49.000 On TV, you just don't think about it.
00:26:51.000 But when you see it up close, you realize that this thing is from a completely different planet.
00:26:56.000 I don't get it from giraffes.
00:26:57.000 I get it from crocodiles.
00:26:58.000 Yeah, of course.
00:27:00.000 Well, they're from a different time.
00:27:02.000 When we were in Sydney, we went to that little zoo thing that was right across.
00:27:06.000 Taronga Zoo?
00:27:07.000 Yeah.
00:27:07.000 We went to see that giant crocodile there.
00:27:09.000 You saw that crocodile, didn't you?
00:27:11.000 We went to one on the Gold Coast.
00:27:12.000 Jesus Christ, that thing was fucking terrifying.
00:27:15.000 The one they had was only like 18 feet or something like that.
00:27:17.000 Now that's a big ass lizard.
00:27:18.000 They get to be like 30 feet, 28 feet.
00:27:22.000 Those things are giant, man.
00:27:23.000 When I lived in North Queensland, there was a crocodile in the wildlife park there.
00:27:28.000 He had lost all of his teeth due to fighting.
00:27:31.000 Because their brains are so small, they sit on their backs and they tickle them because they're real predictable.
00:27:36.000 So the guy takes a wooden stick and he hits the concrete.
00:27:38.000 Then he whacks the crocodile over the nose with it and the sound was identical.
00:27:43.000 So one time his daughter went in there, and this was a huge, no way you could wrap your arms around him.
00:27:48.000 She slipped and fell.
00:27:50.000 Came across, bit her across her leg, all of her adductor muscles, her legs shattered, adductor muscles just spring up, they're gone.
00:27:59.000 She turns, it bites her then across the pelvis.
00:28:02.000 Everything.
00:28:02.000 She had 23 surgeries or something.
00:28:04.000 Her dad jumped over the fence, started beating the crocodile, which is the only way that she got out of there.
00:28:08.000 That's with the crocodile with no teeth.
00:28:11.000 Wow.
00:28:12.000 He turned her leg to Jell-O. That's weird.
00:28:14.000 Can you imagine that?
00:28:15.000 I knew.
00:28:16.000 Why do you have to tell Joe Rogan the story?
00:28:17.000 Now look at him.
00:28:18.000 He's even more scared than animals now.
00:28:21.000 I know, man.
00:28:22.000 I'm not going to Florida.
00:28:23.000 There's no way.
00:28:24.000 UFC Florida, no.
00:28:25.000 There's alligators around there.
00:28:27.000 No, we're not doing the UFC in Florida, Dana.
00:28:29.000 No Dana alligators.
00:28:31.000 I lived in Florida, man.
00:28:32.000 I used to feed them.
00:28:33.000 I lived in Gainesville.
00:28:34.000 We used to go to the...
00:28:35.000 There's a little pond there, and we would feed them.
00:28:37.000 I think it was called Lake Alice.
00:28:38.000 And we would go there, and we would feed these fucking alligators.
00:28:41.000 They were everywhere.
00:28:41.000 They ate a lady's dog while I was there once.
00:28:43.000 Nice.
00:28:43.000 Did you see that?
00:28:44.000 No, I didn't see it.
00:28:45.000 I got there right when people were yelling and screaming, though.
00:28:49.000 Alligator came up and jacked this lady's dog.
00:28:52.000 Apparently it probably happened like an hour before I got there.
00:28:53.000 You know what's crazy about alligators is that they're such a good form of life that that same basic pattern of evolution has been there forever.
00:29:02.000 You know what I mean?
00:29:03.000 Here's an animal like this that will live in these areas that is just made of armor and just has one thing, a bite.
00:29:10.000 That's it.
00:29:12.000 Well, they're efficient, you know?
00:29:14.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:29:14.000 What they do, they're super efficient.
00:29:15.000 And what they do, I don't understand exactly how reptiles work.
00:29:18.000 I'll just tell the truth.
00:29:19.000 Well, here's the big thing with crocodiles.
00:29:20.000 They don't have to eat for a year.
00:29:22.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:29:22.000 They just sit there and get money.
00:29:24.000 Get money?
00:29:25.000 Get money?
00:29:25.000 They're sitting there getting money from the sun?
00:29:28.000 Getting paid from water buffalo bitches up in the water hole.
00:29:32.000 What's that sound?
00:29:33.000 Snap, it's my teeth.
00:29:35.000 You on the ground.
00:29:36.000 Oh, the crocodile rap, bro.
00:29:39.000 MC Crock.
00:29:40.000 Yo, yo.
00:29:41.000 That's my new crocodile LP about to drop.
00:29:44.000 Biting bitches by the waterhole.
00:29:47.000 Biting bitches by the waterhole.
00:29:50.000 That's how we do.
00:29:52.000 Biting bitches by the waterhole.
00:29:54.000 I'm coming for you.
00:29:55.000 Hey!
00:29:57.000 There's a fucking awesome video of a giant crocodile jacking a wildebeest from a waterhole.
00:30:02.000 This fucking wildebeest has to be, I don't know, 500, 600 pounds.
00:30:07.000 You talking about the baby one?
00:30:09.000 The baby one?
00:30:10.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:12.000 It was a regular full-size one.
00:30:15.000 It's a slow crocodile.
00:30:17.000 Slow motion comes out.
00:30:18.000 It's enormous.
00:30:19.000 I mean, it's fucking mouth is so big.
00:30:21.000 It wraps a hole in that wildebeest and just...
00:30:25.000 Whack!
00:30:26.000 Just ragdolls that bitch into the water and pulls it under and it's like, God damn!
00:30:31.000 Watch any alien movie.
00:30:33.000 Watch any monster movie.
00:30:34.000 That's way scarier than any shit I ever saw Predator do.
00:30:38.000 Just grabs this wildebeest, snaps a hold of it, and whips it into the water.
00:30:42.000 That is like something from fucking Star Wars.
00:30:45.000 I don't know, dude.
00:30:45.000 Predator kept your head, bro.
00:30:47.000 And your spine.
00:30:48.000 And they did have lasers.
00:30:49.000 Yeah, lasers, yeah.
00:30:51.000 Crocodile is scarier.
00:30:53.000 They can hold their breath underwater for over an hour.
00:30:57.000 Predator can go invisible, dude.
00:30:59.000 That's good.
00:31:01.000 Oh, shit, man.
00:31:03.000 Dude, I miss old movies.
00:31:05.000 Why can't they be cool like that anymore?
00:31:07.000 It's tough to get a good movie these days.
00:31:08.000 I feel like if they did it all YouTube footage of, like, fucking the Predator being, like, on YouTube, maybe that would help.
00:31:14.000 You know what I think it's eventually going to come down to?
00:31:16.000 Technology is going to get to a point where an individual person can make their own movie.
00:31:20.000 Like, you're going to be able to make your own movie with your computer.
00:31:22.000 You could probably come pretty close.
00:31:24.000 They could do it now.
00:31:25.000 What do you mean?
00:31:25.000 But I'm saying with special effects and cameras will be so cheap, film will be so cheap, hard drives will be so cheap, computers will be so cheap, and the programs that are publicly available to regular amateurs for making movies and putting in special effects are going to eventually get to this incredibly heightened state where you're going to be able to make a fucking Avatar movie on your own.
00:31:44.000 If you're smart, yeah.
00:31:46.000 If you're smart, fuck yeah.
00:31:47.000 But when that happens, then you're going to see the most amazing movies ever.
00:31:52.000 Because there won't be so many fucking roadblocks to making an awesome movie.
00:31:55.000 It'll just be your brain pops right onto a DVD. I don't know.
00:31:58.000 You still need a team of people.
00:31:59.000 Yeah, right.
00:32:00.000 You do need a team.
00:32:01.000 But what you don't need is a bunch of people with money telling you what to do in your movie.
00:32:05.000 And that's what happens.
00:32:07.000 I've seen it over and over again.
00:32:08.000 It's a weird thing, man, when a bunch of people who are not creative at all influence the creative process.
00:32:13.000 And that's what fucks movies up.
00:32:14.000 That's what fucks TV shows up.
00:32:16.000 That's what fucks stand-up comedians up.
00:32:18.000 Well, but couldn't you say that also that that relationship between people who are cockblock, the creativity, and that...
00:32:26.000 Don't you think that that has developed this?
00:32:28.000 Do you think if everyone was a creative dude and not a dork doing the crunch of the numbers?
00:32:32.000 Oh, I... You know what I'm saying?
00:32:34.000 If everybody was a creative dude, this would be a fucking lazy ass town.
00:32:37.000 You're so right.
00:32:37.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:32:39.000 You need a dorky dude to go, okay, this, this, and this, and that.
00:32:42.000 So you need that.
00:32:43.000 We need a dorky dude to sell it.
00:32:45.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:32:46.000 You don't need a dorky dude to create it.
00:32:48.000 No, I know, but if they don't cock-block you at some time, they feel like they're worthless.
00:32:53.000 Yeah, but that's not your fault.
00:32:55.000 That's why shows that work, the best shows, are the shows where they can't say shit.
00:32:59.000 Like South Park.
00:33:00.000 South Park is so good.
00:33:01.000 Oh, they still say shit.
00:33:02.000 Comedy Central, every now and then they say they can't make a cartoon where they draw Muhammad.
00:33:06.000 They'll say shit like that because they don't want to get firebombed.
00:33:09.000 That's like the worst thing they've ever done.
00:33:10.000 I mean, I don't think they have any influence in the creative process.
00:33:13.000 Do you?
00:33:13.000 No, I mean, from what I see, they don't.
00:33:15.000 Brian, you know those guys, right?
00:33:16.000 Do you think that Comedy Central has anything?
00:33:18.000 No, they pretty much do whatever they want.
00:33:20.000 Yeah, because they've been so successful for so long.
00:33:23.000 That show is so buck wild.
00:33:25.000 I love that show.
00:33:26.000 That's like the best show.
00:33:27.000 You know what?
00:33:27.000 That show is the best ever on social commentary right now because they do it six days out.
00:33:34.000 most amazing dudes in show business in my opinion yeah i agree plus they just won nine ten uh uh tony awards and the only reason i know what a tony award is because of these guys is a broadway musical award yeah and they won nine of those i'm like man those guys are geniuses they're brilliant they're brilliant and i and i it's crazy because they they've been like a little team for so long yeah you know since like since college days so those guys have just been linked into each other's brain for so long and they got just such a good partnership that they you know they don't fuck each other over on anything it's It's crazy, man.
00:34:06.000 It's great to see that.
00:34:07.000 It works.
00:34:07.000 Neither one of them lost their head, and that's rare when you get a couple of dudes together.
00:34:11.000 I know, right?
00:34:11.000 Yeah, there had to be some fuckers.
00:34:12.000 Is it two guys?
00:34:13.000 Yeah, two guys.
00:34:14.000 Those are the two guys.
00:34:16.000 Those are the geniuses behind South Park.
00:34:17.000 They probably hate people saying that.
00:34:19.000 I think they're like, whatever.
00:34:21.000 You know the South Park guys to the normal person.
00:34:24.000 It means, oh, South Park.
00:34:25.000 Yeah, I know that show.
00:34:26.000 And people who really know the South Park guys are awesome.
00:34:29.000 Come on, man.
00:34:30.000 Team America.
00:34:31.000 I know.
00:34:31.000 That was genius.
00:34:32.000 I never laughed harder.
00:34:33.000 That was like a stand-up.
00:34:34.000 Right?
00:34:34.000 You know when a stand-up comic is killing?
00:34:36.000 Yeah.
00:34:36.000 You know that feeling?
00:34:39.000 That was how hard I was laughing at that movie.
00:34:41.000 I was like, this is the best movie of all time.
00:34:43.000 Yeah, I'm really interested though with South Park to see what they're gonna do this season because the last one of the last season was like Like almost it felt like the last episode.
00:34:51.000 Why?
00:34:51.000 Oh, yeah Well, thing what was it?
00:34:53.000 No, there was a divorce.
00:34:55.000 What's his name?
00:34:56.000 Stan's dad got a divorce.
00:34:57.000 They were divorcing one car Stan was moving out of South Park and they just made the whole episode seem like it was over really yeah Maybe they're getting bored.
00:35:06.000 They want to do something new.
00:35:07.000 Whatever the fuck they do, I don't care.
00:35:09.000 I'll watch it.
00:35:10.000 What if they start and they're all 21 years old?
00:35:13.000 They're all grown up.
00:35:14.000 Wouldn't that be fucking weird?
00:35:16.000 I'd love it.
00:35:17.000 It would open up a whole new set of jokes about being teenagers and stuff.
00:35:21.000 I would open up a whole new set.
00:35:23.000 Dude, whatever.
00:35:24.000 Wait, are you guys leaking inside info right now?
00:35:25.000 No, I'm just saying it.
00:35:27.000 It seemed like such a good idea that I hope that that's not what it is.
00:35:30.000 Maybe they're listening right now.
00:35:30.000 My friend, you're all fired.
00:35:32.000 Oh, no.
00:35:33.000 Imagine if you got in trouble.
00:35:35.000 You just took a wild guess.
00:35:36.000 The fuck you told him?
00:35:37.000 He didn't guess that.
00:35:38.000 Nobody guesses that.
00:35:40.000 Who the fuck would do that?
00:35:42.000 Those guys can do whatever they want.
00:35:44.000 They have such a loyal group of fans and followers.
00:35:47.000 I'll watch anything they do.
00:35:49.000 There's nothing those guys put out there.
00:35:50.000 There's some things that I'll ignore.
00:35:53.000 There's certain movies I need to go see.
00:35:55.000 I haven't seen the Pineapple Express yet.
00:35:56.000 What?
00:35:57.000 Go see that, man.
00:35:57.000 I haven't seen it.
00:35:57.000 No, it's awesome.
00:35:58.000 I've got it on DVD. Everybody says it's awesome.
00:36:00.000 I haven't seen it.
00:36:01.000 But if a South Park movie comes out, I'm seeing that shit.
00:36:04.000 I'm seeing that shit opening weekend.
00:36:05.000 Mmm.
00:36:06.000 Wait, they have one coming out?
00:36:08.000 No, but if there was...
00:36:09.000 Now you've got to be all hot and bothered for a South Park movie.
00:36:12.000 I saw Drive last night.
00:36:13.000 Oh, really?
00:36:14.000 Man, I was going to go see it.
00:36:15.000 Now you're going to ruin it for me.
00:36:16.000 No, I don't want to ruin it.
00:36:17.000 No spoilers.
00:36:18.000 I liked it.
00:36:18.000 I liked it.
00:36:20.000 It's a real interesting movie, man.
00:36:23.000 I don't know how to describe it without giving a lot of the plot away, but it's a weird movie, man.
00:36:30.000 The guy plays this really detached sort of stunt car driver who gets hired to do bank robberies and shit.
00:36:37.000 He gets hired to be the getaway driver.
00:36:39.000 I'm liking it.
00:36:40.000 It's a good script.
00:36:42.000 It's a good movie.
00:36:43.000 There's a lot of good shit in it.
00:36:44.000 There's a few what-the-fuck scenes, but that's how you have to wrap it up.
00:36:48.000 What the fuck are they doing?
00:36:50.000 Come on.
00:36:51.000 When someone's been cautious the whole film, and there's more inconvenience seeing where the guy gets to get him because he's turned his back to him like a noob.
00:37:01.000 I hate unrealistic.
00:37:03.000 That's annoying.
00:37:04.000 I know that you're just trying to wrap up a movie right quick.
00:37:07.000 Like, ah, why are you packing it up, man?
00:37:09.000 I still got 90 minutes.
00:37:10.000 90 minutes in here when people's asses start getting sore.
00:37:13.000 Let's wrap this fucker up.
00:37:15.000 There's a lot of movies like that where you're halfway in the movie and you're like, wait, wait, what?
00:37:18.000 What are you doing?
00:37:19.000 The fuck are you ending this?
00:37:20.000 Like that movie, the Bradley Cooper movie, Limitless.
00:37:24.000 Oh, I like that movie, bro.
00:37:25.000 I like that movie, too.
00:37:26.000 I liked it up until the end where all of a sudden he's like, well, I engineered the effects out.
00:37:30.000 Now I'm fucking awesome.
00:37:31.000 I know, yeah.
00:37:32.000 I was like, oh, I wanted to see him drugged out and shit.
00:37:35.000 Like, ah!
00:37:35.000 I can't get off this shit.
00:37:36.000 It was a cheap way to end it.
00:37:38.000 It was like, oh, I fixed it.
00:37:39.000 I fixed it, and now it's awesome forever.
00:37:41.000 But what could be the alternative, really, though?
00:37:45.000 Come on, there's a billion alternatives in an infinite number of different bizarre directions.
00:37:49.000 If something goes shitty at the end of that awesome movie, it didn't have to be shitty, man.
00:37:52.000 But you wouldn't come away, like, I came away like, man, that movie was great, and tell people it was great.
00:37:57.000 I had a good feeling about it.
00:37:59.000 I think what could have been real interesting is towards the end, he could have started having psychotic episodes where he woke up at different stages of his life, at We're good to go.
00:38:23.000 And then it goes to black.
00:38:25.000 And then you go, that guy just fried his fucking noggin.
00:38:28.000 Joe Rogan presents Limited.
00:38:29.000 He OG'd on limitless pills and woke up in between worlds.
00:38:33.000 I haven't seen it yet.
00:38:34.000 That's how I would end it.
00:38:35.000 But I smoke weed, bitch!
00:38:39.000 Do you say you watch Breaking Bad?
00:38:40.000 Yeah, I love that show.
00:38:41.000 I just started it.
00:38:43.000 Everybody's mad at me because I was quoting something about how much I liked an episode.
00:38:46.000 It was the first season.
00:38:47.000 That's what I watched.
00:38:48.000 I watched it on the DVD. I didn't watch it live.
00:38:50.000 So I'm still...
00:38:50.000 I'm way behind.
00:38:51.000 I watch it when I get tattooed, and I haven't been tattooed in a few months.
00:38:55.000 I just saw the first episode.
00:38:56.000 The first episode starts you off quick.
00:38:58.000 My Miyamoto Musashi sleeve.
00:38:59.000 Is that your name?
00:39:00.000 Yeah, this one's like two years old.
00:39:02.000 I know.
00:39:03.000 I always...
00:39:03.000 I'm like, man, Joe Hogan got some cool tattoos.
00:39:05.000 I always look back, and I'm always like, man, I'm...
00:39:08.000 Sorry, I didn't get any tattoos.
00:39:09.000 You can still get them.
00:39:10.000 Some people like them, some people don't.
00:39:13.000 The way I look at it is, skin looks cool, but I like art better.
00:39:16.000 I like art on my skin.
00:39:17.000 As long as you trust the artist and you have an idea, it's really good.
00:39:21.000 The guy that I go to, Aaron Della Vadova, is fucking awesome, man.
00:39:25.000 He specializes in really big, beautiful pieces.
00:39:29.000 I'm a fan of his artwork.
00:39:31.000 If you go to his studio where he tattoos, he's got all these paintings and shit around.
00:39:35.000 How cool is that guy?
00:39:36.000 Yeah, dude, he's awesome.
00:39:37.000 He's going to do the podcast, too.
00:39:39.000 Have you ever thought, like, when you're 80 years old, though, and if you don't get it touched up, you're just going to have rainbow arms?
00:39:43.000 When you're 80 years old, you look like shit no matter what, dude.
00:39:46.000 Who gives a fuck?
00:39:47.000 I'm going to look like an 80-year-old dude who did some crazy shit.
00:39:50.000 That's all right.
00:39:51.000 You'll be in bed by 6.30 anyways.
00:39:52.000 Yeah, I'll be in bed by 6.30.
00:39:53.000 Yeah, he's not hanging out on the corner.
00:39:55.000 They're going to call you Rainbow Brick.
00:39:56.000 I'm going to be like Joey Diaz when I'm 80. Just fucking, just going balls out till the fucking wheels fall off.
00:40:04.000 But yeah, I gotta get him to finish this thing.
00:40:07.000 Man, I met somebody like Uncle Louie or something or Uncle George.
00:40:11.000 Wait, Uncle Benny?
00:40:12.000 Uncle Benny?
00:40:12.000 Uncle Benny?
00:40:13.000 Man, he had like old school tattoos from like the sailor days.
00:40:17.000 Like Ed Hardy before that shit was Ed Hardy.
00:40:20.000 Like the real old tattoo.
00:40:22.000 And man, then he stole the knife at Thanksgiving.
00:40:27.000 It was weird.
00:40:28.000 He just got like...
00:40:29.000 He stole a knife?
00:40:29.000 Yeah, he was like, where's the knife?
00:40:31.000 And then he was walking around the house with the knife in his hand.
00:40:34.000 I was like, man, somebody get Uncle Benny.
00:40:37.000 Eek.
00:40:38.000 There's nothing creepier than a drunk person with a knife.
00:40:41.000 No, but he wasn't even...
00:40:42.000 He was like 90. He was just senile.
00:40:44.000 He wasn't even drunk.
00:40:45.000 The only thing creepier is if it's Mayhem's uncle.
00:40:49.000 I was with Chris McGuire once.
00:40:50.000 Me and Chris McGuire, we were hanging out with this dude.
00:40:53.000 There's a dude that used to own the comedy improv in Tempe.
00:40:58.000 And there was a dude who was friends with the owner.
00:41:00.000 Took us to his bar.
00:41:01.000 We're all hanging out at his bar.
00:41:02.000 We're going to go back to his house.
00:41:04.000 And he said, by the golf course, beautiful.
00:41:06.000 We're going to just have a party at this guy's place.
00:41:08.000 Seems like a cool guy.
00:41:09.000 We all go back.
00:41:10.000 Go back with a bunch of his friends and all these different people.
00:41:12.000 Well, it turns out to be like 1 o'clock in the morning and the guy is shh.
00:41:16.000 Shit-faced.
00:41:18.000 Beyond.
00:41:19.000 Like, you can't even make eye contact with Homeboy.
00:41:22.000 And he's walking around with a pair of scissors.
00:41:24.000 Because he wants everybody to leave his house except this one girl.
00:41:28.000 And the girl was like 19 years old.
00:41:29.000 And she was like, please don't leave me here.
00:41:31.000 Please don't leave me here.
00:41:32.000 Like, this guy was running around his house kicking these people out that he just invited in with a pair of scissors.
00:41:38.000 It was one of those moments.
00:41:39.000 It was me and Chris McGuire.
00:41:41.000 Is he on your Facebook?
00:41:43.000 That guy?
00:41:43.000 Yeah, we're besties now.
00:41:45.000 I mean, we got through this little dark moment with him trying to stab people for a 19-year-old rape pussy.
00:41:49.000 That's a big one.
00:41:50.000 He's going to rape this girl.
00:41:52.000 And the girl looked at us and she goes, please don't leave me here with him.
00:41:54.000 We're like, we're not going to leave you here.
00:41:55.000 You're coming with us.
00:41:56.000 And we had to, like, argue with the guy.
00:41:58.000 We got to just go, look, dude, she wants to leave with everybody else.
00:42:01.000 We got to let her go.
00:42:02.000 Is it before you left?
00:42:03.000 Before you left?
00:42:04.000 No, there's one other couple that was watching this from the living room.
00:42:08.000 We were close enough to get stabbed.
00:42:10.000 No, I'm saying, but what's the deal?
00:42:13.000 How did that work out?
00:42:14.000 I think some people, I've seen it happen more than once.
00:42:17.000 Some people, whatever it is, whether it's alcohol or drugs, there's some things that they take that make them snap over and they're Gonsville.
00:42:26.000 You see that glassy-eyed look in their eyes?
00:42:27.000 They're not really there.
00:42:29.000 Their rational, conscious mind has completely shut off.
00:42:32.000 I've seen it with alcohol.
00:42:33.000 Really?
00:42:34.000 Yes, alcoholics.
00:42:35.000 I have a friend who's an alcoholic, and every time he gets drunk, you're very likely to see a different version of him.
00:42:43.000 And it's very likely to be someone who you can't even recognize.
00:42:45.000 You barely know what to expect from them.
00:42:47.000 They're going to say crazy shit to people.
00:42:49.000 They're going to get in trouble.
00:42:50.000 They're going to start fights.
00:42:51.000 They don't even know who I don't get that because I don't get that drunk.
00:43:08.000 I get drunk, but I'm me drunk.
00:43:11.000 I don't snap over.
00:43:12.000 Some people do, though.
00:43:13.000 They fucking for sure do, man.
00:43:15.000 I've seen it.
00:43:16.000 And I know you've probably seen it, too.
00:43:17.000 They dance with the devil, and all of a sudden they have the devil.
00:43:21.000 There's some people, there's a different, you know, like some people say, man, I can't smoke pot.
00:43:26.000 Okay, I understand.
00:43:28.000 There's people that can't drink.
00:43:29.000 They fucking can't.
00:43:30.000 They just can't.
00:43:31.000 Everybody has their own biological thing.
00:43:33.000 There's a reason why some people are allergic to peanuts.
00:43:37.000 Some people, it's fucking tuna fish.
00:43:40.000 There's weird things that make people's bodies react.
00:43:42.000 I can get it, man.
00:43:43.000 I can get it.
00:43:44.000 Man, he's hammered on tuna fish.
00:43:46.000 That guy is such a dick.
00:43:50.000 Right?
00:43:50.000 Like, fucking, every time he drinks the juice out the can, like, pushes it in there, sprays it in there.
00:43:54.000 I don't think if you were allergic, it would make you hammered.
00:43:56.000 Yeah, I don't know how you made that, but...
00:43:58.000 Have you ever seen a...
00:44:00.000 God bless you and your connections.
00:44:01.000 Have you ever seen a list of, like, things that you're not supposed to give dogs, like, that are completely poisonous to dogs?
00:44:09.000 Oh, but there's things on there, like grapes, yeah.
00:44:11.000 No, I'm calling bullshit on grapes, bro.
00:44:14.000 I think I gave my dog a grape.
00:44:16.000 Yeah, my pit bull used to eat grapes like crazy.
00:44:18.000 Yeah, they were like...
00:44:19.000 I don't know.
00:44:19.000 I think someone started that internet fucking rumor for no reason.
00:44:22.000 I love those grapes.
00:44:23.000 I went through a dog poisoning recently, so I was given a list of things not to give your dog.
00:44:31.000 And there were some things on there that I just would never have thought of.
00:44:34.000 Things like...
00:44:35.000 I can't even remember.
00:44:36.000 But it was something weird like that.
00:44:38.000 Grapes or nuts.
00:44:39.000 There's some...
00:44:39.000 If you give certain kinds of nuts that are...
00:44:42.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:44:42.000 I think that's why chocolates...
00:44:44.000 They're allergic to chocolate.
00:44:45.000 It's to the cocoa.
00:44:45.000 Oh, and here's another thing.
00:44:47.000 Did you know plums or anything that has a core in the middle of it is really, really poison.
00:44:54.000 So if you have trash and the dog's going through the trash, a lot of times they like to chew on the core of a plum or a peach.
00:45:00.000 Are you trying to say...
00:45:01.000 Yeah, it's got a chemical in it that's completely...
00:45:04.000 Those are only bitch dogs.
00:45:05.000 Are you trying to say that you killed your ex-girlfriend's dog?
00:45:08.000 No, no.
00:45:09.000 I'm not saying that happened at all.
00:45:11.000 Well, hey, but I gave my dog some plum.
00:45:14.000 It didn't matter.
00:45:15.000 Plums aren't killing dogs, too.
00:45:17.000 Yeah, it has like a thing in the middle of it.
00:45:19.000 Dogs eat their own shit.
00:45:19.000 I think we would have heard of that.
00:45:20.000 Right?
00:45:20.000 Everybody would know by now.
00:45:22.000 Dogs eat their own shit and then run the quarter mile way faster than you could ever dream of.
00:45:26.000 Well, usually if they get sick or eat something, they usually throw it up, but they'll still act sick.
00:45:31.000 Think about how quick a dog can run the quarter mile after eating three or four large mouthfuls of shit.
00:45:36.000 A dog can fucking...
00:45:38.000 Fly, man.
00:45:39.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:45:39.000 Fly!
00:45:41.000 You couldn't even fucking hope to keep up with that shit-eating dog.
00:45:46.000 A mouth full of fucking shit.
00:45:50.000 Shit breath and shit smeared over his shitty gums.
00:45:53.000 Oh my god.
00:45:54.000 Shit on his lips and he's running like a bully.
00:45:57.000 With no problems.
00:45:59.000 Not even a little indigestion.
00:46:01.000 Your pantomime is on point, dude.
00:46:04.000 That's exactly how it would be pumping right there.
00:46:07.000 You can't pump with that.
00:46:08.000 You can't fuck with four legs.
00:46:11.000 Four legs of fury and fecal matter in his face.
00:46:14.000 Yeah, because it's an exponentially faster animal.
00:46:17.000 Four legs.
00:46:18.000 There's a whole body whip effect.
00:46:20.000 They get a lot going on that we don't have.
00:46:21.000 My hot dog dog can jump.
00:46:23.000 I bet.
00:46:26.000 His whole body springs up.
00:46:28.000 You told me the story of you got in a physical fight with your Mastiff once.
00:46:33.000 Your Mastiff attacked you.
00:46:35.000 We fought for 30 seconds.
00:46:37.000 30 seconds?
00:46:39.000 How big was it?
00:46:42.000 150 pounds.
00:46:43.000 A Neo.
00:46:44.000 Jesus!
00:46:46.000 That's a big guy.
00:46:46.000 That's like a little bigger than my dog, man.
00:46:48.000 How did this shit unfold?
00:46:50.000 Was it playing?
00:46:51.000 No, you know what it was?
00:46:52.000 We were young.
00:46:53.000 It was 23, 24 years old.
00:46:56.000 We had joy.
00:46:58.000 I was like, wait, you and the Mastiff were young?
00:47:01.000 I was like, wait.
00:47:03.000 I've made mistakes in the past.
00:47:04.000 I know, I was like, well, you got a bad time that day.
00:47:06.000 Frolicking in the park one day?
00:47:08.000 We had joy.
00:47:10.000 Seasons in the sun.
00:47:12.000 One day I just gave him his food and I contacted him.
00:47:17.000 And it was on.
00:47:18.000 You know, I should have known, man.
00:47:19.000 He's a dog.
00:47:21.000 You can't eye contact him and challenge his space while you're giving him food.
00:47:24.000 Don't look at him.
00:47:25.000 He's your food, bitch.
00:47:26.000 You don't do that.
00:47:27.000 You give the dog, you pat him on the back, and you walk away.
00:47:31.000 Always make contact with the dog while he's eating his food so he's comfortable with that.
00:47:34.000 He doesn't think you're going to steal food from when you touch him.
00:47:36.000 That's what keeps it.
00:47:37.000 When some dogs, you touch them when they're eating and they turn on you.
00:47:40.000 So what was the catalyst?
00:47:42.000 Yeah, what started off the brawl?
00:47:43.000 Dan Henderson had an intact pit bull who lived with us.
00:47:47.000 And they fought probably 20 times.
00:47:49.000 Oh my god.
00:47:50.000 At one point, how many matches have to go off?
00:47:57.000 We've got to get rid of the dog.
00:48:01.000 One dog's got to go.
00:48:02.000 I love pit bulls, but I laugh my ass off when people tell me they're not dangerous.
00:48:06.000 Yeah, they're built and killed.
00:48:08.000 What are you talking about?
00:48:09.000 I love them.
00:48:10.000 They're my favorite dogs of all time.
00:48:11.000 But if you've had pit bulls, you know they're dangerous as fuck.
00:48:14.000 It doesn't matter how much you train them.
00:48:16.000 Yeah, either they're just lying to themselves or trying to lie to you to make them feel better about it.
00:48:22.000 I have yet to see a pit bull that I trust.
00:48:23.000 I don't care how much you trained it.
00:48:25.000 If it has its balls and it's a male, I trust it around another dog.
00:48:29.000 Right.
00:48:29.000 I just don't.
00:48:30.000 I don't.
00:48:31.000 I don't.
00:48:32.000 Especially if the other dog has its balls.
00:48:34.000 Especially if the other dog's a male and it gets even a little frisky.
00:48:37.000 Especially if it's a Neo.
00:48:38.000 Yeah.
00:48:39.000 They're a fighting breed dog.
00:48:40.000 Some big, crazy-ass dog.
00:48:41.000 So they both had balls?
00:48:43.000 Mm-hmm.
00:48:44.000 Wow!
00:48:44.000 These are dangerous.
00:48:46.000 That's two wild monsters.
00:48:47.000 We had two wild animals.
00:48:50.000 I got so good at stopping the dog fight...
00:48:54.000 That I could actually pin both of them down.
00:48:56.000 I bet your wrestling really came into play.
00:48:59.000 Think about it if you were a guy who didn't know how to use your body weight and pin things down.
00:49:03.000 Did you get underhooks on your dog?
00:49:05.000 I had a whole technique.
00:49:07.000 I had a knee on belly on one, or better knee on throat.
00:49:10.000 I'd pin the other one down.
00:49:12.000 Most of the time I needed help.
00:49:14.000 So I would just start calling for whoever was there.
00:49:16.000 Then you had to go reach in each dog's mouth and open them, which isn't that hard to do actually.
00:49:20.000 Really?
00:49:21.000 Not at all.
00:49:21.000 That's why I'm not at all afraid of dogs.
00:49:23.000 God, that's so scary.
00:49:23.000 No, it's really not.
00:49:24.000 The clamp down, though.
00:49:26.000 Once you open, if they shut down on your fingers, god damn, son.
00:49:30.000 But even that, they only have one weapon.
00:49:33.000 You know it's coming.
00:49:33.000 Yes, but still, it can get you.
00:49:36.000 That's like the Dan Henderson right hand.
00:49:38.000 I'm with Brian on this one.
00:49:39.000 Even if they get you, you have to shove it into their mouth.
00:49:42.000 Yes, you do.
00:49:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:49:43.000 And then if it got really bad, I'd just start poking eyes.
00:49:46.000 Hopefully they have a collar.
00:49:47.000 I choked my dog out when I was trying to kill my cat once with his collar.
00:49:50.000 I got knee on belly and I choked him out.
00:49:52.000 I put him out of sleep.
00:49:53.000 Wait, with his collar?
00:49:55.000 Yeah, with his collar.
00:49:55.000 Did you cross your hands?
00:49:57.000 I did.
00:49:57.000 Ezekiel choked my friend.
00:49:58.000 I got inside.
00:49:59.000 I put him in one hand like this.
00:50:01.000 He clocked him.
00:50:01.000 My position.
00:50:02.000 Very good.
00:50:03.000 Make close.
00:50:03.000 Make note here.
00:50:05.000 I put my finito belly.
00:50:07.000 And I turn.
00:50:08.000 I turn.
00:50:08.000 Oh, he go out.
00:50:09.000 The dog is sleeping good now.
00:50:11.000 Plum pits have cyanide in them, and grapes cause kidney failure in dogs.
00:50:16.000 Wait, so you're telling me if I ate plums in the middle of it?
00:50:19.000 Listen to this, man.
00:50:21.000 I would die?
00:50:22.000 It depends on how much you eat.
00:50:23.000 A dude that I work with, I'm sorry, a dude that I work with, this is gonna, I gotta, before I forget, this guy, his mom died from fucking Tylenol.
00:50:32.000 This mom got liver poisoning.
00:50:35.000 She died because she was taking Tylenol, which has like whatever the fuck the chemical it has, and it also exists in some other cold medication that she was taking.
00:50:43.000 She was taking the two of them at the same time, and she had fucking liver failure.
00:50:47.000 Oh, is that strong?
00:50:48.000 Yes.
00:50:49.000 Oh, yeah?
00:50:49.000 Did you know that that was even possible?
00:50:52.000 Every drug you can die from.
00:50:53.000 But Tylenol, have you ever heard?
00:50:55.000 It's mixing certain things.
00:50:57.000 A lot of times if you look on something and say, don't take whatever that chemical is in Tylenol with it, I think it's like...
00:51:02.000 I'm glad we have your input.
00:51:07.000 100,000 people a year die from appropriately prescribed medication.
00:51:12.000 We know it just surpassed car accidents.
00:51:15.000 Did it?
00:51:15.000 Yeah, most recently prescription drugs have surpassed car accidents for accidental deaths for the first time ever.
00:51:21.000 Because they don't do, especially when people take, you take five drugs, you have about a 100% chance of having an adverse reaction to it.
00:51:27.000 So no one did peer-reviewed study, good double-blind controlled studies on those four or five drugs together?
00:51:34.000 That's why I only take AlphaBrain and nothing else.
00:51:36.000 Yeah, onnit.com.
00:51:38.000 Oh, and I, too.
00:51:39.000 Oh, yeah.
00:51:40.000 I got to plug your shit, too.
00:51:41.000 Yeah, seriously, Joe.
00:51:42.000 I got to plug your way.
00:51:43.000 It works, right?
00:51:44.000 Let me plug it properly because this thing...
00:51:47.000 Okay, I really wanted to hate on you.
00:51:50.000 I'm just going to tell the truth.
00:51:52.000 You know what I mean?
00:51:53.000 Because I did the cool guy shit and I went online and I bought all my, you know, kind of what you got in there separately.
00:51:59.000 And I'm like, okay, this is a good mix for me.
00:52:01.000 But I don't know, dude.
00:52:02.000 I took that stuff and, man, I smashed people at video games yesterday.
00:52:06.000 I mean, that's my gold standard.
00:52:08.000 My brain was focused.
00:52:09.000 I was watching the video games close.
00:52:11.000 I was like a robot.
00:52:13.000 Do you feel it's like Adderall?
00:52:14.000 I feel like it's like a mild Adderall.
00:52:16.000 Like, I don't feel like I'm on anything, but I feel so focused and...
00:52:20.000 I have to reveal, though, that there's been a few people, a very small number, most people, like the vast majority, over 90% of all the tweets and emails I get are positive.
00:52:29.000 More than 90%.
00:52:30.000 It's like 99. I would say it's like one out of 100. I think people want to hate on you, though.
00:52:33.000 Yeah, maybe, but one out of 100, they don't seem like they're hating.
00:52:35.000 They just say, dude, it did nothing for me whatsoever.
00:52:38.000 And I believe them, man.
00:52:39.000 Everybody's got their own.
00:52:39.000 Some people, first of all, I've got to know where you're at.
00:52:42.000 I've got to know, are you smoking cigarettes?
00:52:43.000 Are you out of shape?
00:52:44.000 Are you ill?
00:52:45.000 Is $29 half your paycheck?
00:52:47.000 Yeah, that could be it, too.
00:52:49.000 A lot of people are upset at the price.
00:52:50.000 This is what I said.
00:52:51.000 Oh, really?
00:52:52.000 Yeah, I said, listen, this is the highest quality shit, and we get it from the best manufacturers, we put it in a really well-calculated form, but steal it.
00:53:02.000 Steal it.
00:53:02.000 Go online.
00:53:03.000 It's shocking.
00:53:04.000 You can see all the ingredients.
00:53:06.000 Go get your own ingredients.
00:53:07.000 I have no problem with that.
00:53:08.000 I thought you just meant to go and scoop it off the shelf.
00:53:10.000 I thought that was what I was thinking.
00:53:11.000 Well, do that if you can.
00:53:12.000 No, don't do that because somebody had to buy it, man.
00:53:14.000 That's rude.
00:53:14.000 But I'm saying steal the formula.
00:53:18.000 I don't know, man.
00:53:19.000 I think, okay, if...
00:53:22.000 $29 is not that expensive for that kind of thing.
00:53:25.000 All the other stuff, buying that stuff separately costs a lot of money.
00:53:30.000 And it's the quality of all those chemicals too.
00:53:33.000 If that mix doesn't work for you, you lost $29.
00:53:38.000 So what?
00:53:39.000 I don't know.
00:53:40.000 The benefit for me, man, I'm stoked, man.
00:53:42.000 I'm stoked about it.
00:53:44.000 It makes me feel super clear.
00:53:45.000 I did an interview today.
00:53:47.000 I was like, okay, my brain works.
00:53:48.000 And that was after training for two hours.
00:53:51.000 People don't want to believe in it, and that's fine.
00:53:53.000 And there's a lot of people that say there's no science behind it.
00:53:54.000 But there's a science paper on the site that shows, with references, it's a medical editorial written on the efficacy of this alpha brain stuff.
00:54:03.000 And it's based on reactions.
00:54:05.000 It's based on things that people have noticed.
00:54:07.000 Hey, if you take this, this happens, and put it all together.
00:54:11.000 People are getting annoyed because we talk about it all the time, but I wanted to give you some.
00:54:15.000 I didn't even know you guys talked about it all the time.
00:54:17.000 I talk about also people being annoyed.
00:54:21.000 What is that noise?
00:54:22.000 Is that your phone?
00:54:24.000 That sounds pretty awesome.
00:54:25.000 Someone's phone.
00:54:25.000 That's fine.
00:54:26.000 Oh, it's your phone.
00:54:27.000 People being annoyed that we talk about it, but I wanted to get your take on it, which is why I had them sent to you.
00:54:31.000 Are they going to sell them in bulk, like huge containers?
00:54:34.000 Yeah, we will eventually.
00:54:35.000 I think that's the way to go.
00:54:36.000 You can get 10% off if you go to JoeRogan.net.
00:54:39.000 There's a link.
00:54:39.000 Click on it and enter in the code name Rogan and you get 10% off of it.
00:54:43.000 Big.
00:54:43.000 No, let me touch your beard, bro.
00:54:45.000 Oh, I just cut it all off.
00:54:47.000 So when you took it, how many days a week did you take that shit?
00:54:51.000 I've taken it for four days in a row.
00:54:53.000 Did you notice it right away?
00:54:55.000 Yeah, pretty much.
00:54:56.000 I'm excited because I've only been on for four days.
00:54:58.000 I want to see what happens later.
00:55:00.000 Because I'm feeling very like, I don't know man, whatever.
00:55:03.000 I say that stuff's awesome.
00:55:05.000 I don't know how the hell you figured that out.
00:55:07.000 It's not me, it's Aubrey, our buddy.
00:55:09.000 He's the smart one.
00:55:11.000 All right.
00:55:12.000 Because I'm like, oh, this is sweet.
00:55:13.000 I feel like, man, pretty focused.
00:55:16.000 It's pretty awesome.
00:55:17.000 I feel good that my friend made up something that is good.
00:55:21.000 It's way better.
00:55:23.000 That movie Warrior was good.
00:55:26.000 I'm friends with one of the guys who wrote on the thing.
00:55:29.000 I was like, oh.
00:55:30.000 I hope this is good.
00:55:31.000 And I saw it and I was like, man, this is really good.
00:55:32.000 So I was like, I feel good with my friends, dude.
00:55:34.000 And now you give me these freaking pills and I'm like, man.
00:55:37.000 Are you sure that's not a placebo effect?
00:55:39.000 No, I know.
00:55:39.000 That's what I'm worried.
00:55:40.000 That's what I'm thinking.
00:55:41.000 I'm really trying to, in my head, go, okay.
00:55:44.000 No, he goes the other way every time.
00:55:46.000 I go all the way, yeah.
00:55:47.000 I go, nah, that's bullshit.
00:55:48.000 I always say bullshit.
00:55:49.000 I don't think it is.
00:55:50.000 It's true.
00:55:51.000 I think recently, because you gave me that new bottle, because I was out for like two weeks, and for those two weeks, I was starting to feel icky again, and then I've been taking it nonstop.
00:56:00.000 I just hope it doesn't get put on a PEDs list.
00:56:02.000 I don't think it will be.
00:56:03.000 It's all vitamins.
00:56:04.000 I know, but what I'm saying is, you know, if I have a brain advantage...
00:56:07.000 That's illegal too, right?
00:56:09.000 Vitamin B. There's some other shit that we're selling now that's based on a cordyceps mushroom.
00:56:15.000 Do you know anything about that shit, Ryan?
00:56:17.000 I do already.
00:56:19.000 I didn't know that that's what it was when you said it.
00:56:22.000 I didn't realize cordyceps was...
00:56:25.000 I had a lot of success with cordyceps earlier in my career.
00:56:29.000 Did you?
00:56:30.000 Yeah, I use it.
00:56:31.000 It helped my weight and my cardio.
00:56:36.000 So I remember I was doing judo tournaments and doing jiu-jitsu tournaments when I was young.
00:56:41.000 I would take that stuff and it made me feel real good.
00:56:43.000 That's crazy though that...
00:56:45.000 I didn't even know that cordyceps is mushroom.
00:56:47.000 Someone said, you've got to take cordyceps.
00:56:49.000 One of the trainers there, and I was like, alright, I'll take it.
00:56:52.000 And then I didn't...
00:56:53.000 What the hell is a cordyceps?
00:56:54.000 What does it look like?
00:56:55.000 Is it like a little blue mushroom?
00:56:57.000 What's a cordyceps?
00:56:58.000 That's a good question.
00:57:00.000 Google that!
00:57:01.000 Come on, Red Band!
00:57:03.000 Mushrooms are so fucking good for you.
00:57:05.000 There's so many mushrooms.
00:57:06.000 I take chaga mushrooms.
00:57:07.000 It's supposed to be really good for your immunity.
00:57:10.000 I take a bunch of different things just knowing that I'm going to go on the road a lot.
00:57:13.000 I'm going to be around a lot of icky things.
00:57:17.000 So I take a lot of probiotics, but I also started taking these chaga mushrooms because I read up on them, like how good they are, how many health benefits of mushrooms.
00:57:26.000 Why?
00:57:26.000 What does it do for you?
00:57:27.000 Oh, there's so many different things.
00:57:28.000 It's good for your immune system.
00:57:29.000 It's like an antioxidant.
00:57:31.000 Oh, really?
00:57:32.000 The best thing about probiotics, anything you're taking a mushroom in.
00:57:35.000 Yeah, I always drink those or the little...
00:57:37.000 You ever drink the little...
00:57:38.000 What's that called?
00:57:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:57:40.000 Activa things?
00:57:41.000 No, no, it's a small one.
00:57:42.000 No, no, the Bio-K. Yeah, Bio-K. Oh, yeah.
00:57:44.000 Man, it tastes good.
00:57:45.000 You can tell, man.
00:57:46.000 You feel digestive.
00:57:47.000 You feel like it pushes your body.
00:57:48.000 Those are by far the best ones.
00:57:50.000 Is it by far?
00:57:51.000 What's it called again?
00:57:51.000 They're in the refrigerator.
00:57:52.000 They look like little yogurt things.
00:57:53.000 Bio-K. It's like a little tiny canister.
00:57:56.000 I love the idea of taking all this live shit into your body.
00:58:00.000 I love it.
00:58:00.000 That's weird, right?
00:58:01.000 There's kombucha drinks.
00:58:02.000 We're all over there.
00:58:03.000 Yes, exactly.
00:58:03.000 I love those things.
00:58:04.000 I drink that shit every day.
00:58:05.000 Yeah, and it's really done.
00:58:07.000 And I also bought some fucking ridiculously expensive acidophilus.
00:58:12.000 I was like, why is this shit $100?
00:58:14.000 Oh, yeah.
00:58:14.000 You know, because it's in the refrigerator, it's supposed to be like the highest count, blah, blah, blah, whatever, you know, different types.
00:58:19.000 I'm like, alright, you know, I'm not even going to do any research.
00:58:21.000 I'm just going to pop one, pop one a day and see what the fuck is up for a hundred bucks.
00:58:26.000 But like a hundred bucks for a bottle of, like, not even a big bottle.
00:58:29.000 Wait, how many times was, oh, how many bottles?
00:58:31.000 I don't know.
00:58:31.000 It wasn't that big, man, you know?
00:58:33.000 Have you seen the documentary, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dying?
00:58:37.000 That's exactly what I was going to say.
00:58:38.000 Are you serious?
00:58:39.000 Did you see it?
00:58:40.000 Wow, that's crazy.
00:58:41.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:58:42.000 Because it's all about how we don't eat anything live, really.
00:58:45.000 We're getting all our nutrients from dead stuff, like breads and whatnot.
00:58:50.000 All of America, pretty much.
00:58:52.000 It's an easy, accessible thing.
00:58:54.000 And to just juice all your food, everything's real-life vegetables.
00:58:59.000 And people have done juice fasts and stopping on...
00:59:02.000 This guy did it in the movie, 60 days with only, like, he had a portable, like, juicer and stuff, and then he met people on the way, and then he met this trucker that was, like, bigger than Joey Diaz, like 400, and he started doing, he's like, look, just do this for 10 days, and next thing you know, it was just, like, people were dropping weight.
00:59:21.000 He immediately looked healthier, too.
00:59:22.000 He looked healthier, yeah.
00:59:23.000 You know, I can feel a lot of, I mean, I tell anybody, if you can do that, you know, it takes a lot of time and a lot of devotion to, like, grind up all your food into juice, you know, and it helps if you've got a girlfriend.
00:59:32.000 Do you think that you should juice it or do you think you should use that Vitamix thing?
00:59:36.000 Yeah, the Vitamix blender, it's basically like juicing it, but you're also maintaining all the stuff from the back.
00:59:41.000 You have a lot of fiber.
00:59:42.000 We do both.
00:59:44.000 Trust me, dude.
00:59:44.000 That fiber drink, that's like your real drink.
00:59:48.000 When you grind everything up with a Vitamix blender, that's like, okay, I'm drinking this.
00:59:53.000 And for me, I really like it now because I know the health benefits and it makes me feel good when I drink it.
00:59:57.000 But when you drink it first, you're like, man, that's like lawn mower juice right there.
01:00:02.000 Like, it just came out of the juice, like, out of the bag.
01:00:04.000 Fresh out of the bag, and they blend in a little more, and then you suck it down.
01:00:08.000 But the regular juicer, it's just like...
01:00:10.000 It's like a juice.
01:00:12.000 You're like, oh, I went to Jabba Juice.
01:00:14.000 Yeah.
01:00:15.000 I tried to get my little kid to try it.
01:00:16.000 What?
01:00:17.000 Oh, yeah, little kid.
01:00:17.000 I tried to get a three-year-old.
01:00:18.000 She licked that fucking green sperm.
01:00:21.000 Yeah.
01:00:21.000 It looks like Hulk sperm.
01:00:22.000 That's what it looks like.
01:00:24.000 Wait, she says this?
01:00:25.000 No, she doesn't say that.
01:00:26.000 Yeah, she's always talking about loads, that little kid.
01:00:29.000 You gotta say it's so wacky.
01:00:30.000 Princess tears or something.
01:00:31.000 Princess tears.
01:00:32.000 My daughter drinks it.
01:00:33.000 I said this is daddy's health drink.
01:00:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:00:34.000 Ryan's little daughter is like a freaking health match.
01:00:36.000 She's been drinking green juice from six months old.
01:00:39.000 Wow.
01:00:40.000 That's cool.
01:00:40.000 With the same stuff?
01:00:42.000 That blended up stuff?
01:00:42.000 The Vitamex thing?
01:00:43.000 No, just a...
01:00:44.000 We go get a juice?
01:00:45.000 Oh, no, no.
01:00:46.000 My daughter drinks juices.
01:00:47.000 From the press juicery, there's a place that they use some sort of a crazy hydraulic cold press, something that's better than grinding it up.
01:00:55.000 No, but she drinks like the Walmart juice.
01:00:57.000 His little girl drinks the Walmart juice.
01:00:59.000 She's a crazy...
01:01:00.000 Well, her diet's amazing.
01:01:02.000 Really?
01:01:03.000 My wife cooks everything from home, organic.
01:01:06.000 She's never had any meat or dairy.
01:01:08.000 Really?
01:01:09.000 Yeah, bro.
01:01:09.000 It's weird.
01:01:10.000 She's been sick probably...
01:01:13.000 Three times in our whole life.
01:01:14.000 Wow.
01:01:15.000 That's awesome.
01:01:15.000 No meat or dairy, huh?
01:01:17.000 It's so crazy to see his little kid.
01:01:19.000 Because usually I see little kids that are like sticking them at McDonald's, you know?
01:01:22.000 And this kid is like a super healthy eater.
01:01:24.000 And like, man, it's really crazy to see how that benefits a kid.
01:01:29.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:30.000 For sure.
01:01:30.000 Your nutritional value?
01:01:31.000 Because I can tell this kid is healthy.
01:01:32.000 She's never sick.
01:01:33.000 That's awesome.
01:01:34.000 And really, I don't know.
01:01:35.000 Does she at least get Sway ice cream once in a while or anything?
01:01:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:38.000 Come on.
01:01:39.000 You can get really great ice creams.
01:01:40.000 Like those cashew nut ice creams.
01:01:42.000 Yeah, I love this stuff.
01:01:43.000 It's great.
01:01:43.000 I would never go no dairy.
01:01:45.000 Cheese is just too fucking delicious.
01:01:47.000 I'm sorry.
01:01:48.000 A steak and cheese with no cheese or with some fucking whack-ass vegan cheese.
01:01:53.000 You get away from me, sir.
01:01:56.000 There's a corner in Philadelphia where they have two...
01:01:59.000 I know.
01:01:59.000 I've been there before.
01:02:00.000 What is it?
01:02:01.000 Pat and Gino's?
01:02:02.000 Is that what it is?
01:02:02.000 Gino's, yeah.
01:02:03.000 Gino's.
01:02:03.000 Is it Pat's, the other one?
01:02:05.000 I don't know, man.
01:02:06.000 Somebody tweet that at me.
01:02:07.000 Either way, they know what the fuck they're doing.
01:02:09.000 Yeah, they do, yeah.
01:02:09.000 They know what the fuck they're doing, and cheese is very important.
01:02:11.000 But you feel like real East Coast when you go there.
01:02:14.000 Like, yeah, that's right, East Coast, give me that thing!
01:02:17.000 Who's that?
01:02:17.000 Like, steak and cheese?
01:02:19.000 And for a lot of dudes, it's like 2am, they struck out at the bars, and then they're like, let's see if we can get over to the steak and cheese place.
01:02:25.000 Maybe some pussy.
01:02:26.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:02:27.000 Just get hammered and go eat.
01:02:29.000 That's when that shit's delicious.
01:02:30.000 Yeah, there's nothing better than fucking greasy food when you're hammered.
01:02:34.000 Oh god, just give me this, whatever it is, cheese and meat.
01:02:38.000 Greasy-ass fucking pastrami Reuben from Jerry's Deli.
01:02:42.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:02:43.000 You know that feeling?
01:02:45.000 Those pastrami Reubens where you lather that fucking, what is that, thousand-ounce dressing on the inside of that bitch?
01:02:52.000 And just the fat is exploding in your mouth.
01:02:55.000 Just an orgasm.
01:02:59.000 Oh, cheese and fucking sauerkraut.
01:03:02.000 When you're hammered, man, there's nothing better than that.
01:03:04.000 People who have never been hammered or high really don't understand what food really tastes like.
01:03:07.000 They don't know.
01:03:08.000 You sort of know.
01:03:10.000 Swilling your wine in your mouth.
01:03:12.000 If you've never really been hammered, come on, son.
01:03:15.000 You've never really been high.
01:03:16.000 Whatever, dude.
01:03:17.000 You eat some dumb stuff and you're hammered, bro.
01:03:19.000 You're like, I've never, like, I'm just like, oh, Jack in the Box.
01:03:22.000 Yeah.
01:03:22.000 Like, what?
01:03:23.000 I would never, I look, Jack in the Box, you know, sober-minded.
01:03:25.000 Especially as a professional athlete, right?
01:03:27.000 Bro, I look at that thing like, oh my god, I've been drunk before.
01:03:30.000 You're the best.
01:03:31.000 Man, Jack in the Box is just like an orgy of flavors all over you, just like squirting mustard all over your tits.
01:03:37.000 Oh, yeah.
01:03:37.000 Like, you're just like, I, like, What's that again?
01:03:41.000 Can you say it slower this time?
01:03:44.000 Yeah.
01:03:44.000 More feeling?
01:03:45.000 Let me look you in the eyes.
01:03:47.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:03:48.000 And I don't think that's a healthy diet for anybody.
01:03:51.000 I think your brain doesn't care.
01:03:54.000 It's just like, this is what, at the caveman level, this is what I need to survive.
01:03:59.000 And I don't feel like that's how we should live our lives.
01:04:02.000 The best is the Whole Foods all-you-can-eat bar.
01:04:04.000 I love Whole Foods.
01:04:05.000 You just sit there and you're just picking out of...
01:04:09.000 It's like a salad bar, but Whole Foods style.
01:04:13.000 It's all you can eat?
01:04:14.000 Yeah, you pay for a pound.
01:04:18.000 It's all you can eat?
01:04:19.000 There'll be some damn skinny fat guys there for sure.
01:04:22.000 If I could go somewhere and get like unlimited chicken breast, I'd be on.
01:04:26.000 I'd just be sitting right next to the bar.
01:04:27.000 Well, that's what Fogo de Chau is.
01:04:29.000 Yeah.
01:04:30.000 That's gangster.
01:04:30.000 That place is gangster.
01:04:31.000 Man, I owe you a cuss out too, by the way.
01:04:34.000 I was sitting on the toilet cussing you out.
01:04:36.000 I was like, man, Joe Rogan, he's like, let's go to Fogo de Chau.
01:04:40.000 I'm like, what is this place?
01:04:41.000 They come around to you.
01:04:43.000 It's Brazilian Jodigio.
01:04:44.000 They come around to you like you're a king with a big lamb shank.
01:04:48.000 Like, would you like some of this?
01:04:49.000 Of course you say, yes, it's meat in your face!
01:04:52.000 You know what you're going to find out?
01:04:53.000 They have them almost in every mall, too.
01:04:55.000 Fake ones that are just as good and cheap.
01:04:59.000 They weigh it by the pound.
01:05:01.000 What you want to eat by the pound.
01:05:04.000 Fogo is all you can eat.
01:05:05.000 Fogo is the best.
01:05:06.000 I'm sitting on the toilet.
01:05:08.000 I was hurting, man.
01:05:09.000 I was like, I'm going to tweet at Joe Rogan right now.
01:05:10.000 Yeah, I feel like when I eat at that place, I feel like a real carnivore.
01:05:15.000 Because there's nothing but meat.
01:05:16.000 It's just meat.
01:05:17.000 You've got to open up the poop chute first.
01:05:19.000 Asparagus, broccoli, lettuce, everything in there.
01:05:23.000 Pack the bowl.
01:05:23.000 Collard greens.
01:05:24.000 You've got to pack your bowl first.
01:05:25.000 Don't be scared.
01:05:27.000 I'm just going to eat the meat.
01:05:28.000 I'm only going to eat the meat.
01:05:29.000 Don't do it.
01:05:30.000 Don't do it.
01:05:30.000 That's Joey Diaz.
01:05:31.000 Brock Lesnar, you son.
01:05:34.000 Tuberculitis?
01:05:35.000 Some shit stuck up in y'all.
01:05:37.000 We went to Brazil last December.
01:05:38.000 That's how we ate every day.
01:05:40.000 Yeah, pretty much.
01:05:40.000 I've been more eating meat than I did all year.
01:05:43.000 I was so fat.
01:05:44.000 Especially after training.
01:05:45.000 Doesn't it feel like the perfect thing to eat after training?
01:05:48.000 Hey man, you ever take a rib bone and just chew it and break it off the rib just to feel like an animal?
01:05:54.000 I do that with chicken bones.
01:05:56.000 Never?
01:05:56.000 I just bite off the ends and suck the marrow out of them.
01:05:58.000 Yeah!
01:05:59.000 Oh man, I love your caveman status.
01:06:01.000 I can't help it.
01:06:02.000 My mom always did it.
01:06:03.000 I grew up with savages, bro.
01:06:05.000 Yeah.
01:06:05.000 Your mom was picking fleas off the back of you?
01:06:08.000 Yeah, she's half orangutan.
01:06:10.000 At least.
01:06:12.000 A beautiful woman.
01:06:13.000 A beautiful woman.
01:06:15.000 Rogan's sister swinging down from the treehouse.
01:06:18.000 My mom used to bite the bottoms off chicken bones and suck the marrow out.
01:06:24.000 Tell me that's not some crazy monkey shit.
01:06:26.000 Jazz monkey.
01:06:27.000 Whatever, bro.
01:06:28.000 Who might have judged?
01:06:29.000 Who even figured that out?
01:06:31.000 That's some old world shit.
01:06:33.000 People stopped sucking marrow out about two generations ago.
01:06:38.000 Food became plentiful enough that we didn't have to suck the marrow out of the bones.
01:06:42.000 Isn't that funny?
01:06:43.000 No, no.
01:06:44.000 That's awesome.
01:06:46.000 Do you guys ever roll with the kid from Jerry Maguire?
01:06:49.000 Remember that little kid that had glasses?
01:06:52.000 What do you mean?
01:06:52.000 Do ecstasy with them?
01:06:53.000 No, he does jiu-jitsu and he choked out heffron like five times in a row and he was talking about on his podcast how ashamed he was because it was the little kid from Jerry Maguire.
01:07:03.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:07:04.000 I didn't know Heffron's doing jiu-jitsu on a regular basis.
01:07:07.000 Yeah, I guess he does it here and there.
01:07:08.000 John Heffron?
01:07:09.000 John Heffron, stand-up comic.
01:07:11.000 He won last comic standing.
01:07:12.000 He's a good buddy of ours.
01:07:13.000 I did a whole tour with him, him and Charlie Murphy.
01:07:15.000 Oh, really?
01:07:16.000 We traveled across the country years ago.
01:07:17.000 I've got to look at that.
01:07:18.000 I didn't see that.
01:07:19.000 Yeah, we did a Bud-like comedy tour.
01:07:21.000 Oh, I do remember that.
01:07:22.000 That's why I could remember the guy's name so hard.
01:07:25.000 What's he look like?
01:07:26.000 Heffron?
01:07:27.000 Handsome man.
01:07:28.000 White guy?
01:07:28.000 Dark hair.
01:07:28.000 White guy.
01:07:29.000 Very clean cut looking.
01:07:30.000 Handsome white guy?
01:07:31.000 Very, very funny stand-up comic.
01:07:33.000 And a good dude, too.
01:07:34.000 Party.
01:07:35.000 Yeah, he's a great guy.
01:07:36.000 That's cool.
01:07:36.000 But he likes to go to fucking karate classes and shit and take new and different things.
01:07:41.000 He just started wrestling and does judo.
01:07:43.000 Cool.
01:07:43.000 He's cool.
01:07:44.000 He gets into shit.
01:07:45.000 He's one of those real obsessive...
01:07:48.000 One of those guys, he gets onto something and just becomes absolutely obsessed with it.
01:07:51.000 For a while, it was like that Tony Robbins shit.
01:07:54.000 Neuro-linguistic programming.
01:07:56.000 And he used to have little fucking hand movements before he went on stage.
01:07:59.000 He would do a certain thing with his hand and that would lock him into the mindset of him killing when he's on stage.
01:08:04.000 And then he could take it and just go with it on stage.
01:08:07.000 That's cool.
01:08:08.000 Amway kind of guy.
01:08:09.000 You believe in that shit?
01:08:10.000 You've got a lot of interesting thoughts about motivation.
01:08:14.000 Yeah, I think all that stuff came from Milton Erickson.
01:08:18.000 You know who he is?
01:08:18.000 No.
01:08:19.000 The father of kind of modern hypnosis.
01:08:22.000 He's a really super interesting, amazing guy.
01:08:24.000 So there was one guy who figured out hypnosis?
01:08:27.000 There's three books called Conversations with Milton Erickson.
01:08:30.000 When did they come up with it?
01:08:32.000 What year?
01:08:34.000 He would be long passed away.
01:08:36.000 What year do you think they invented hypnosis?
01:08:40.000 I think versions of it could go on for...
01:08:42.000 Maybe someone just kind of put this together.
01:08:45.000 Okay, so this guy didn't invent hypnosis.
01:08:47.000 He just...
01:08:48.000 I think of what people know as modern hypnosis.
01:08:50.000 A lot of it came from Milton Erickson.
01:08:52.000 And he would kind of hypnotize whole groups of people.
01:08:55.000 Really super interesting guy.
01:08:57.000 And he was in a wheelchair, too.
01:08:58.000 Any of you guys got hypnotized before?
01:09:00.000 Wait, you're talking this guy is Professor Xavier?
01:09:03.000 He's like in a wheelchair doing this maneuver?
01:09:05.000 Yeah.
01:09:05.000 That's badass.
01:09:06.000 That is Captain Xavier.
01:09:09.000 So all that NLP stuff came from a lot of what Milton Erickson was doing.
01:09:12.000 So he was the first guy to figure out how to hypnotize large groups?
01:09:17.000 Oh, he would do that just by the way he's...
01:09:20.000 The patterns he used to speak.
01:09:22.000 Right, but did other people?
01:09:23.000 Just by the patterns.
01:09:24.000 So he would go on stage, he would speak in a certain pattern, and the whole audience would be hypnotized.
01:09:28.000 Yeah, and then he'll kind of drop things into it.
01:09:31.000 He's a really interesting guy.
01:09:32.000 So would you be hypnotized?
01:09:33.000 Was everybody hypnotized?
01:09:34.000 Who knows if it was everybody, but that was...
01:09:38.000 I remember one guy saying to me that when you're on stage you've got to hypnotize the audience.
01:09:43.000 And I've seen you do it.
01:09:44.000 Yeah.
01:09:44.000 What you do is...
01:09:46.000 I wouldn't say hypnotize.
01:09:47.000 What I say is you get them with your focus and your intent and with the economy of words so that they don't have to work too hard and know exactly what you're saying.
01:09:57.000 You project what you're thinking into their head and then it's like you operate their mind.
01:10:03.000 They allow you inside their You take them on a journey.
01:10:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:10:08.000 So I wouldn't say it's hypnotizing, but it is a lot like that.
01:10:12.000 There's a connection.
01:10:14.000 There's an undeniable connection that you have with the crowd.
01:10:16.000 As a comic, you feel it, you lock into it, and you ride it.
01:10:20.000 And you have to ride it with super honesty.
01:10:23.000 It's a weird thing.
01:10:24.000 If you're not really in the moment, it'll stop.
01:10:27.000 It'll stop, and then they'll just become words, and you lose this connection.
01:10:31.000 That's like creating rapport.
01:10:32.000 All those things go a long way to keeping that connection going.
01:10:35.000 Yeah, so this guy just stands or sat there in the wheelchair and would talk and the audience would walk out.
01:10:40.000 I would imagine you're very similar.
01:10:42.000 Not like this.
01:10:44.000 He wakes him up and you make out with the person sitting there.
01:10:48.000 Don't go comical.
01:10:49.000 And sleep!
01:10:50.000 Right as he comes.
01:10:51.000 And sleep!
01:10:53.000 So you're telling me that people...
01:10:56.000 I know that people have been to the damn hypnotizing show and they're like...
01:11:01.000 Yeah, you know, and then she got up and, you know, barked like a dog every time he snapped his fingers.
01:11:07.000 Is there any truth to that?
01:11:08.000 I don't know.
01:11:09.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:11:09.000 I'm asking you guys.
01:11:10.000 I've seen it a bunch of times.
01:11:11.000 Really?
01:11:12.000 Comedy hypnosis shows by a bunch of different dudes.
01:11:15.000 Yeah, I've seen it a bunch of times.
01:11:16.000 It's real.
01:11:16.000 It doesn't work on everybody, but it works on some people.
01:11:18.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:11:18.000 I figure...
01:11:19.000 I think you have to weak-head mind or something.
01:11:21.000 Not necessarily.
01:11:22.000 Really?
01:11:23.000 No, remember Urkel...
01:11:23.000 Someone's been hypnotized.
01:11:25.000 No, I know.
01:11:26.000 Remember Urkel...
01:11:30.000 I missed what you guys were saying.
01:11:33.000 We were saying that you have to be weak to get hypnotized.
01:11:35.000 And he goes, not necessarily.
01:11:37.000 And we're like, oh, someone's been hypnotized.
01:11:40.000 He was at the funny bone, and then it was just out of nowhere.
01:11:45.000 Has they ever tried to hypnotize you?
01:11:47.000 No, I know.
01:11:48.000 That's what I'm trying.
01:11:48.000 I don't think they could do it.
01:11:50.000 I would be like, all right, cool.
01:11:51.000 Let's try.
01:11:53.000 You have to be willing to let yourself go.
01:11:54.000 Yeah, I probably wouldn't be.
01:11:55.000 I'd be like, fuck that!
01:11:58.000 Yeah, you're right, you're right.
01:12:01.000 You wouldn't bark like a dog, you know what I'm saying?
01:12:05.000 I think different people have different definitions, first of all, for hypnosis.
01:12:09.000 There's other people that they'll describe hypnosis as as just putting someone in a very relaxed state where they're receptive to information.
01:12:16.000 and you can talk to them in a more balanced way than you can when they're up and hyper and looking at you and looking around.
01:12:24.000 And so the idea of hypnosis, it's not like they're not conscious.
01:12:28.000 They're very conscious.
01:12:28.000 They're conscious and aware.
01:12:29.000 They're just relaxed into a certain level of consciousness.
01:12:34.000 It's not standard.
01:12:36.000 It's relaxed and controlled.
01:12:38.000 And that even though they're aware of everything, they're still being hypnotized.
01:12:42.000 I don't know what the official definition of it is, but I have seen people that are absolutely hypnotized and believe that there's things that are going on in one of those hypnosis comedy shows that...
01:12:54.000 There's things that are going on around them and they can't control it and they can't stop it and they come in their pants.
01:12:59.000 I've seen them thinking that there's monsters in the room.
01:13:02.000 I've seen all that shit.
01:13:03.000 Why would they come in their pants if there's monsters in the room?
01:13:05.000 No, there's different tricks.
01:13:08.000 My bad, my bad.
01:13:09.000 There was one where there was this guy, Frank...
01:13:11.000 Frank Santos, who had this guy having sex with Madonna on stage.
01:13:15.000 I'll never forget this.
01:13:16.000 And the guy's like, and you're inside of her, and you're inside of her.
01:13:19.000 And the dude just nuts in his fucking pants.
01:13:21.000 Wait, did you see that?
01:13:23.000 Did you hear this?
01:13:24.000 You see the kid just nut.
01:13:25.000 You see the kid just nut, like immediately.
01:13:27.000 Like nuts in his pants, and everyone starts laughing and howling.
01:13:31.000 And then, you know, the hypnotist goes, whoa, I guess you enjoyed that.
01:13:35.000 All right, all right, clean yourself up over there.
01:13:37.000 And the kid just walks off stage and the people that worked there helped him and brought him into the bathroom.
01:13:42.000 The kid just fucking shot a load in his pants.
01:13:45.000 He really believed he was having sex with the father.
01:13:47.000 Wait, was this Brian or was this somebody else?
01:13:50.000 It wasn't in the backseat of my Toyota Prius.
01:13:52.000 I'm not saying it's Michio Kaku and they're getting hypnotized.
01:13:55.000 They're probably some knuckleheads.
01:13:56.000 But what I'm saying is, was that guy just a plant...
01:14:00.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:14:01.000 I know the hypnotist.
01:14:03.000 The hypnotist was very honest.
01:14:04.000 For what?
01:14:05.000 He was really capable of doing it.
01:14:06.000 Not to everybody.
01:14:07.000 He would pick people out of the crowd.
01:14:09.000 He'd say, who wants to get hypnotized?
01:14:10.000 He'd bring them up on stage.
01:14:11.000 And he would always know who wasn't really under.
01:14:13.000 There's some people, he goes, and he would tell you.
01:14:15.000 I go, how do you know when they're not under?
01:14:16.000 He goes, oh, you can just tell.
01:14:17.000 I go, well, what do you do?
01:14:18.000 He goes, you can't do it.
01:14:19.000 You can't hypnotize them.
01:14:20.000 Some people you can't hypnotize.
01:14:21.000 So it's like, there's almost like some people, they're programmed in a certain way, where there's just a door open, and you can just open that door and get inside.
01:14:29.000 We have newer operating systems than that.
01:14:31.000 Yeah.
01:14:31.000 And that was patched at 2.5.
01:14:33.000 Yeah, that's some old shit.
01:14:34.000 That's Mac OS X or OS 8, whatever the fuck it was.
01:14:38.000 MS Boss!
01:14:39.000 Yeah, I think everyone has a capability to go there.
01:14:42.000 Really?
01:14:43.000 Capability if you can relax enough to be hypnotized.
01:14:45.000 If you decide that that's a place that you're going to go to and you're open and receptive to it, of course.
01:14:49.000 Really?
01:14:50.000 Yeah.
01:14:50.000 Everyone.
01:14:51.000 Everyone.
01:14:52.000 That's why things like advertising works.
01:14:55.000 Does it really work?
01:14:57.000 I guess it works, right?
01:14:58.000 Sure.
01:14:59.000 But does it really?
01:15:00.000 I think what works more is the court of public opinion.
01:15:03.000 Things that are desirable are desirable because a bunch of people like them, not just because of advertisement.
01:15:09.000 It becomes a chicken and egg fail.
01:15:12.000 When was the last time you saw a Ferrari advertisement?
01:15:14.000 You don't see them.
01:15:15.000 You know why?
01:15:16.000 They don't need to do that.
01:15:17.000 Yeah, why?
01:15:17.000 Because it's a fucking Ferrari.
01:15:19.000 Yeah, but...
01:15:22.000 And you hear that thing?
01:15:23.000 That was good.
01:15:24.000 That was pretty good.
01:15:25.000 Hey, what are you talking about, dude?
01:15:26.000 They have a Ferrari store in a mall.
01:15:28.000 You just never leave the house.
01:15:29.000 Yeah, no, no, no.
01:15:29.000 And you can buy their items.
01:15:31.000 They don't advertise.
01:15:31.000 They don't advertise.
01:15:32.000 That's advertising enough.
01:15:33.000 That's not.
01:15:33.000 They're selling things, bro.
01:15:35.000 They're saying they were so awesome.
01:15:36.000 They're capitalizing off their image and making money.
01:15:38.000 No, they advertise a different way.
01:15:39.000 They advertise a different way, dude.
01:15:40.000 They have a Formula One car that's driven by Team Ferrari.
01:15:43.000 That's advertising.
01:15:44.000 That's advertising.
01:15:44.000 Sort of.
01:15:45.000 It's also how they develop their product.
01:15:46.000 Well, that's why the advertising works.
01:15:48.000 Yeah.
01:15:49.000 Because it's so congruent with their product.
01:15:50.000 Right, but it's sort of a part of their business.
01:15:52.000 I wouldn't say it's advertising as much as I'd say it's a necessary part of their business.
01:15:55.000 How do you not get this?
01:15:56.000 Not in the traditional way that I'm putting an ad in the newspaper advertising.
01:16:01.000 It is.
01:16:02.000 But what I'm saying is they don't try to reach outside of their sport and make commercials on TV. When was the last time you saw a commercial for Ferrari in a magazine?
01:16:11.000 No, listen, dude.
01:16:12.000 Listen.
01:16:12.000 My point is that they don't need to.
01:16:14.000 They're such an established name.
01:16:15.000 I would say that they do market and advertise.
01:16:17.000 They just do it in different ways.
01:16:19.000 And I feel like they really did all the advertisement a long time ago.
01:16:23.000 They did all the advertisement a long time ago.
01:16:25.000 They've been such a badass name for so long that we don't even need to advertise.
01:16:30.000 You know our shit costs $500,000 and you can't afford it, so fuck off.
01:16:35.000 That's really their...
01:16:36.000 Well, it's not even just that.
01:16:37.000 It's just that they're the best.
01:16:40.000 What about Lamborghini?
01:16:42.000 Why not?
01:16:43.000 They're not as good.
01:16:44.000 There's something about them.
01:16:46.000 It's not the same.
01:16:48.000 Lamborghini is too trashy.
01:16:50.000 You're trying too hard.
01:16:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:16:53.000 Whatever, dude.
01:16:54.000 You're going to be saying that when I got a Lamborghini, bro.
01:16:56.000 They're still pretty wicked.
01:16:57.000 Gallardo, especially, is still pretty wicked.
01:16:59.000 But if you had to choose between a Lamborghini and a Ferrari, what's a cooler car?
01:17:05.000 Lamborghini all day, bro.
01:17:06.000 What's your problem?
01:17:07.000 Yeah, Lamborghini.
01:17:08.000 Really?
01:17:08.000 You like them?
01:17:08.000 Yeah, because it's like freaking badass.
01:17:10.000 When you were a little kid, you were like, man, I want a Lamborghini, bro.
01:17:13.000 And you had a little toy Lamborghini, and you're like, yeah, look at it.
01:17:16.000 It's purple and black, but it's shiny.
01:17:17.000 Oh, then it gets wet, and now it's green.
01:17:21.000 That's what I'm talking about!
01:17:22.000 So, Lamborghini was awesome.
01:17:24.000 Ferrari was like the old man dork car when you had it.
01:17:27.000 I'm an old man dork.
01:17:28.000 Well, I guess...
01:17:29.000 Well, you know, James Bond.
01:17:31.000 Fuck James Bond.
01:17:32.000 I don't even have a Ferrari.
01:17:33.000 That wasn't my point.
01:17:34.000 My point is that...
01:17:36.000 I'm just talking about my Matchbox experience, bro.
01:17:39.000 That's all I'm saying.
01:17:40.000 Like, I just felt like Lamborghini was really kicking it off in circa 1986. Don't get me wrong.
01:17:46.000 The Murcilli Lago, whatever that's called, that's a pretty fucking beastly car.
01:17:49.000 That's a Ferrari.
01:17:50.000 Oh.
01:17:51.000 No, it's a Lamborghini.
01:17:52.000 Oh yeah, Marcielago?
01:17:53.000 Marcielago?
01:17:54.000 Wait, there's another one.
01:17:55.000 But the Lamborghini Marcielago is the main one.
01:17:57.000 Marcielago, yeah, yeah.
01:17:58.000 $350,000 car or something crazy like that.
01:18:01.000 That was the first one like that?
01:18:02.000 That was a monstrous, ridiculous beast.
01:18:04.000 I just remember that shit looked like Back to the Future, bro.
01:18:06.000 They're all ridiculous like that.
01:18:07.000 They're almost too ridiculous looking.
01:18:09.000 Whereas Ferrari is like, I guess not though.
01:18:11.000 Ferrari is pretty ridiculous.
01:18:12.000 Yeah, exactly!
01:18:13.000 You see a Ferrari with no top, it just looks like a weird, crazy boat car.
01:18:18.000 Yeah, I know.
01:18:18.000 I love that someone's dumb enough to make something like that.
01:18:21.000 Dumb enough to make something that's just fucking completely reckless.
01:18:25.000 Defies traffic violations.
01:18:28.000 In first gear, it'll pass the fucking speed limit.
01:18:32.000 Yeah.
01:18:32.000 It's ridiculous.
01:18:33.000 I don't got a driver's license because I had a car that wasn't even that fast.
01:18:37.000 What happened?
01:18:38.000 No, I just kept getting tickets and throwing them out the window.
01:18:41.000 Oh, jeez.
01:18:42.000 You know, I just was like, I'll pay it online.
01:18:44.000 I'll pay it online.
01:18:45.000 But I didn't realize there was points on this thing.
01:18:47.000 Like, there's a point limit.
01:18:49.000 I don't know.
01:18:50.000 Is that for parking?
01:18:51.000 You hit the limit and they shut you off?
01:18:52.000 Yeah, they were like, nope, sorry.
01:18:54.000 Parking's not that, right?
01:18:55.000 Like, parking has no points.
01:18:56.000 Man, I have a bunch of parking tickets, too.
01:18:58.000 I paid them all off, though.
01:18:59.000 I'm legit.
01:19:00.000 Because I have a parking ticket that I can't find.
01:19:02.000 So you were speeding?
01:19:04.000 Yeah, a bunch of times, yeah.
01:19:06.000 And, you know, they just catch you in weird spots, like on the way to training, and it's just a back road.
01:19:11.000 There's no school on it or anything.
01:19:13.000 Have you ever considered getting, like, a real, like, luxury-style car, like a Cadillac or something like that, where you would just drive slow, like one of those big-ass Cadillacs?
01:19:22.000 Yeah, I mean, I just like people driving me around, so I'm glad I lost.
01:19:26.000 Yeah, I'm like, whatever, just drive me.
01:19:28.000 It's like a text.
01:19:30.000 Just drive me somewhere.
01:19:31.000 Everybody, I got Sarge.
01:19:32.000 Bro, he went from driving the damn Land Cruiser on the damn Afghanistan front.
01:19:37.000 Now he just drives me around.
01:19:38.000 I'm like, come on, Sarge.
01:19:39.000 He was over there fighting.
01:19:41.000 Sarge is like my homie.
01:19:42.000 He's like a real close friend of mine.
01:19:43.000 And he got blown up by a rocket in Afghanistan.
01:19:47.000 But no, he's good.
01:19:49.000 It didn't blow all the way up.
01:19:50.000 It hit his headrest.
01:19:51.000 It hit his headrest and blasted him.
01:19:54.000 And I just cut into his back and stuff.
01:19:56.000 He called me up like, yo, bro.
01:19:58.000 I'm coming home.
01:19:59.000 I got hit by a rocket.
01:20:01.000 I'm like, for real?
01:20:02.000 I'm like, man, come back, dude.
01:20:03.000 All right, I'll see you soon.
01:20:05.000 He's like, all right.
01:20:05.000 Man, he called back two weeks later.
01:20:07.000 He's like, no, I'm good, bro.
01:20:08.000 Fuck that.
01:20:09.000 I'm killing all these guys.
01:20:10.000 I'm like, oh, my.
01:20:11.000 I'm like, all right.
01:20:12.000 What can you say to that?
01:20:13.000 Like, I understand.
01:20:16.000 Fucking go for it.
01:20:17.000 Like, yo, but he made it back, dude.
01:20:20.000 We went and visited.
01:20:21.000 What was this about?
01:20:22.000 Where the fuck did this conversation get started from?
01:20:23.000 I don't care.
01:20:24.000 Now I'm talking about it.
01:20:25.000 So I'm excited.
01:20:26.000 I don't know.
01:20:27.000 Oh, because of Sarge.
01:20:29.000 And how did Sarge get into this?
01:20:31.000 For driving you around?
01:20:32.000 Oh yeah, he's driving me around.
01:20:33.000 Yeah, that's the whole point I was making anyway.
01:20:35.000 But yeah, but I'm saying he...
01:20:37.000 That's a crazy ass story, dude.
01:20:39.000 And that's what's happening to kids.
01:20:41.000 And, you know, kids.
01:20:43.000 Like, this guy was like 23 years old.
01:20:46.000 Like, I'm like, damn, dude.
01:20:47.000 Like, he's been through enough adventure for a man three times his age.
01:20:51.000 You know, already.
01:20:53.000 I didn't mean to get...
01:20:54.000 It just got me started cranking about Sarge.
01:20:57.000 Sorry, guys.
01:20:58.000 Have you ever been kicked out of a library?
01:21:00.000 War commentary by Jason Mayhem Miller.
01:21:03.000 No, I know, but I'm just thinking because, you know, I could have done that.
01:21:06.000 Yeah, I could have too.
01:21:06.000 Joined up real easy because my old man was in it and, like, I grew up in the Army, you know?
01:21:11.000 So I, like, I feel, like, real connection to dudes in the Army and I'm, like, in the Marines and the Air Force, whatever.
01:21:17.000 I'm just, like, I see how you got to live to be in that.
01:21:21.000 You should be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do in this life, but it is kind of weird when you see those crazy video game commercials about joining the Marines.
01:21:29.000 You know, when you go, wow, that's like really influencing the shit out of kids.
01:21:33.000 Yeah, or the video games that they make.
01:21:35.000 That's like Call of Duty, but they make it, and they have an army game.
01:21:39.000 Really?
01:21:40.000 Is Call of Duty based in the present time, or is it a...
01:21:43.000 Bro, Call of Duty is awesome.
01:21:45.000 Don't give me I don't know anything about it.
01:21:48.000 Some of them are World War I. Some of them are World War II. Some of them are Vietnam.
01:21:52.000 The latest ones are Modern Warfare.
01:21:54.000 You feel like you're in a real war.
01:21:56.000 The one who plays that shit is Bruce Buffer.
01:22:00.000 We were in England and this dude was in his laptop with fucking crazy eyes.
01:22:06.000 Really?
01:22:06.000 Online.
01:22:07.000 Jacking people, looking through windows and throwing grenades and shit.
01:22:10.000 I was like, what is that?
01:22:12.000 It's like Call of Duty.
01:22:13.000 It's ridiculous.
01:22:14.000 The graphics and everything.
01:22:16.000 But man, you see people, how fucking tuned in they get to these games.
01:22:22.000 Of course.
01:22:22.000 How nutty it is.
01:22:22.000 Wasn't you into video games before?
01:22:24.000 Yeah, bad.
01:22:24.000 Hardcore for a long time.
01:22:25.000 But my point is, when is the next level of immersion going to come?
01:22:29.000 Because you know it's going to.
01:22:30.000 They're going to figure out some fucking goggles anywhere.
01:22:32.000 They already did.
01:22:33.000 They have those goggles.
01:22:33.000 You strap in.
01:22:34.000 You have LED. And you're going to be able to look down and see your feet.
01:22:39.000 You're going to be able to look around.
01:22:40.000 You're going to be in that fucking world, man.
01:22:42.000 That's around the corner.
01:22:44.000 That's a decade away.
01:22:45.000 They're going to figure out some fucking virtual reality shit.
01:22:49.000 Because when we were kids, virtual reality was what they kept talking about.
01:22:52.000 It's coming.
01:22:52.000 Wait until virtual reality.
01:22:54.000 But then when it came, it was like, this is like goggles and it doesn't work.
01:22:57.000 It looks whack.
01:22:58.000 Yeah, but technology is advancing now.
01:23:00.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:23:01.000 They stepped on their dick.
01:23:03.000 They were running so fast, they stepped on their dick.
01:23:05.000 But now, the shit's coming.
01:23:07.000 You have to figure out how you move around.
01:23:09.000 How would you move?
01:23:11.000 Because you'd want to move your body.
01:23:12.000 You can't move your body.
01:23:13.000 Motion sensors.
01:23:14.000 The only thing you couldn't do is have people in giant warehouses.
01:23:19.000 The holodeck?
01:23:20.000 Give them the virtual reality experience.
01:23:22.000 You'd put the fucking helmet on them and set them in the center of a giant warehouse.
01:23:26.000 And the warehouse, as they walked around...
01:23:29.000 Wait, you never watched Star Trek, bro?
01:23:30.000 You never watched Star Trek before?
01:23:32.000 The holodeck?
01:23:33.000 The holodeck?
01:23:34.000 Yeah!
01:23:35.000 The holodeck.
01:23:35.000 You're like, I'm going up to the holodeck.
01:23:37.000 Wait a minute.
01:23:37.000 Wait a minute.
01:23:37.000 Are you saying Star Trek as in the next generation?
01:23:40.000 Yeah, of course.
01:23:41.000 Come on, man.
01:23:41.000 Of course.
01:23:42.000 I didn't watch that fucking show.
01:23:43.000 How dare you?
01:23:43.000 Out of respect.
01:23:44.000 Out of respect to Captain Kirk?
01:23:45.000 Whatever, bro.
01:23:46.000 That was a great show.
01:23:47.000 You're missing that.
01:23:48.000 Listen, bro.
01:23:48.000 I was too young for that shit, okay?
01:23:50.000 Out of respect.
01:23:51.000 That was my version, okay?
01:23:53.000 And I don't care, bro.
01:23:55.000 Worf is a bad motherfucker, okay?
01:23:56.000 I'll just tell you right now.
01:23:57.000 Dato, he was awesome.
01:23:58.000 He was super smart.
01:23:59.000 Sometimes he had emotions.
01:24:01.000 Sometimes he didn't.
01:24:02.000 And after Star Trek The Next Generation gets overlooked.
01:24:05.000 I can't do it, sir.
01:24:07.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:24:08.000 They had Scotty again.
01:24:10.000 He was like 900 years old.
01:24:12.000 Had a mustache, a funny fucking voice.
01:24:14.000 Yeah, his head was gigantic and watermelon-like.
01:24:17.000 There's no need for that.
01:24:18.000 Did you see the Michael Jackson death photo?
01:24:20.000 What happened?
01:24:21.000 For real?
01:24:21.000 What they believe is Michael Jackson's death photo.
01:24:24.000 Well, I mean, they had it in court.
01:24:25.000 That was the courtroom picture.
01:24:27.000 But is it really?
01:24:28.000 How do we know?
01:24:28.000 Because it's on TMZ. That's where they got it from.
01:24:31.000 Well, someone was in court and they took the picture.
01:24:33.000 Yeah, the prosecutors were showing it to show that.
01:24:36.000 How did it get online?
01:24:37.000 Because I think the opening statement's broadcast live on TMZ right now.
01:24:41.000 Whoa.
01:24:41.000 And Ustream actually has it on right now.
01:24:43.000 How crazy is that?
01:24:44.000 TMZ is a legitimate news source in a fucking courthouse while Michael Jackson's, you know...
01:24:50.000 It's just public.
01:24:51.000 I think it's open to the public.
01:24:52.000 Well, what are you talking about?
01:24:53.000 That's the perfect place to put that news.
01:24:54.000 It is, right?
01:24:55.000 It's like, that's the celebrity, like, worship shit, you know?
01:24:58.000 That's weird.
01:24:59.000 Yeah, but this Michael Jackson doctor thing is kind of funny, man.
01:25:02.000 Yeah, what happened?
01:25:03.000 I don't even know what happened.
01:25:04.000 Did he kill the guy or what?
01:25:05.000 I don't know.
01:25:06.000 I just can't wait for the death photo music video, though, where they use that photo to do music video.
01:25:11.000 You know, shit like that's coming.
01:25:15.000 I remember when I was alive and I didn't molest the children.
01:25:21.000 Let both of you guys get a fucking room.
01:25:27.000 Stop hating, Joe Rogan!
01:25:29.000 Drive your Ferrari around!
01:25:31.000 You're so loud, bro.
01:25:32.000 What?
01:25:33.000 It's a radio show.
01:25:34.000 You're supposed to be loud.
01:25:34.000 No, this is not a radio show.
01:25:36.000 This is a conversation amongst friends.
01:25:37.000 Why are you talking to me in a way you would never talk to me if we weren't on the internet like this?
01:25:41.000 Oh, time out, Joe Rogan.
01:25:42.000 You wouldn't be doing this.
01:25:43.000 Get out of here.
01:25:44.000 Get out of here.
01:25:46.000 I smell what you're cooking.
01:25:47.000 He took it to another level because we're on the internet.
01:25:50.000 You took it to another level.
01:25:52.000 You hang out with me.
01:25:53.000 Do I not fucking flip out like that on a normal basis?
01:25:55.000 I told you to put some windows.
01:25:56.000 I can't help it.
01:25:58.000 Why do you think I go to a gym every day, guys?
01:26:02.000 Because that's your job.
01:26:03.000 That's my job, but guess what?
01:26:04.000 It stopped me from having jobs where I had to be normal.
01:26:07.000 I can run around on the mat and go, ah!
01:26:10.000 Fuck you!
01:26:11.000 Yeah, yeah, sometimes.
01:26:12.000 So I'm just saying I pick that path because sometimes I do this.
01:26:16.000 That's your medication.
01:26:17.000 Yeah, there you go.
01:26:17.000 So I just want to yell sometimes.
01:26:19.000 Sometimes I sing to my wiener dog, bro.
01:26:21.000 Do you monster fuck bitches?
01:26:24.000 He's got to, right?
01:26:25.000 It's up to him.
01:26:26.000 Wow, do you want to watch me?
01:26:27.000 No, I mean, I can just imagine you.
01:26:29.000 What is this about?
01:26:29.000 What is this about?
01:26:30.000 It would be a terrible thing to neither admit to or even acknowledge.
01:26:34.000 I know.
01:26:34.000 Why is he watching?
01:26:35.000 You want to watch?
01:26:36.000 No, I'm just...
01:26:37.000 I'm just imagining...
01:26:39.000 Wait, you want to wrestle?
01:26:40.000 You have a three-quarter erection in the corner.
01:26:43.000 Half-erection crying while you're fucking some girl.
01:26:50.000 Weeping as he comes and just dribbles on his foot.
01:26:54.000 Oh my god.
01:26:57.000 Ryan Parsons.
01:27:00.000 Hey, come and drink some coffee, guys.
01:27:01.000 What do you think?
01:27:01.000 That's a good idea?
01:27:03.000 I think that'll help you, for sure.
01:27:06.000 That's what you need in your life.
01:27:07.000 When you start training, you're training for your December 3rd fight right now.
01:27:13.000 Yeah, already.
01:27:14.000 Do you have to watch shit like coffee?
01:27:15.000 Do you limit that for your night?
01:27:17.000 Coffee, not so much.
01:27:18.000 But man, I stopped chewing tobacco.
01:27:20.000 Man, it was making me angry.
01:27:21.000 I have to stop.
01:27:22.000 I just stopped.
01:27:23.000 You were doing it in Colorado, weren't you, when we were up there?
01:27:25.000 Yeah, I just quit.
01:27:27.000 I was like, man, you know what?
01:27:28.000 This is stupid.
01:27:28.000 My doctor called me, he said, you gotta stop that.
01:27:30.000 I was like, alright, I'll stop.
01:27:32.000 It's not even that hard.
01:27:35.000 Coffee, I stopped drinking coffee.
01:27:36.000 Coffee is fine, but I stopped drinking coffee before I had a headache after three days, man.
01:27:41.000 I've done that, yeah.
01:27:42.000 But this thing is just, man, I want to chew.
01:27:45.000 And then I'll go, no, no, I don't.
01:27:47.000 And then that's it.
01:27:48.000 There's no pain or anything.
01:27:49.000 What does a chew do for you?
01:27:51.000 It tightens up your brain, that's for sure.
01:27:54.000 I can see why people smoke cigarettes.
01:27:57.000 The nicotine is kind of like the same concept, that neurotropic, right?
01:28:02.000 Your brain comes alive a little bit and you get focused down.
01:28:06.000 But I don't know, man.
01:28:07.000 So you definitely think that nicotine in general has that sort of a...
01:28:11.000 To me, it's more of like a calming, relaxing thing.
01:28:13.000 But it's more of a check.
01:28:15.000 Like, he's right.
01:28:15.000 It kind of gives you a check.
01:28:16.000 Kevin James loves cigars.
01:28:19.000 That's fun, bro.
01:28:19.000 We smoke cigars together.
01:28:21.000 It's one of the rare times I smoke them.
01:28:23.000 But you get high off of those things.
01:28:25.000 Yeah.
01:28:25.000 You do.
01:28:25.000 You get some weird buzz off a good cigar.
01:28:28.000 For sure.
01:28:28.000 It's nice.
01:28:29.000 It's nicotine, man.
01:28:30.000 It's a drug, nicotine.
01:28:31.000 But I don't get addicted.
01:28:33.000 I don't need it the next day.
01:28:35.000 Oh, no, no.
01:28:35.000 Well, it's a different...
01:28:37.000 It takes a long time to get addicted, though.
01:28:39.000 Yeah.
01:28:39.000 And it's a different type of high anyway.
01:28:41.000 That's a more intense...
01:28:43.000 Yeah, smoking a cigar is like intense burning in your mouth and you feel the nicotine like quick burn that.
01:28:48.000 But doing like a dip or whatever, it's like more like a constant thing.
01:28:54.000 You know what I mean?
01:28:54.000 Like a constant, not that intense, but more constant.
01:28:57.000 So I can see why people get addicted to it or whatever.
01:29:00.000 I hope I'm remembering.
01:29:01.000 I thought it was like 18 months to 3 years to get addicted to cigarettes.
01:29:05.000 No, really?
01:29:07.000 That it takes 18 months?
01:29:10.000 I hope I'm remembering that right.
01:29:13.000 That's about right.
01:29:16.000 Unfortunately, I started when I was 15, and I think the first couple years was more of just like I was smoking because I was in high school, and me and my friend would go to his house during lunch break and just smoke cigarettes.
01:29:25.000 But it wasn't like I needed to smoke cigarettes, but it was kind of like we just did it because we were in high school.
01:29:29.000 Yeah, I was really surprised.
01:29:30.000 I thought it would happen real quick, but it doesn't.
01:29:33.000 No, that's crazy.
01:29:33.000 Well, good.
01:29:34.000 I missed the window.
01:29:35.000 I did that for a little while.
01:29:36.000 You still got time.
01:29:37.000 When I was in high school, the baddest kid on the wrestling team smoked cigarettes.
01:29:41.000 This kid, Mark Collin, he was a sick wrestler.
01:29:44.000 Fucking wiry little angry dude.
01:29:45.000 My dad would smoke cigarettes and just run forever.
01:29:48.000 He would smoke cigarettes and just run 12 miles.
01:29:50.000 I'm like, what?
01:29:51.000 What the hell?
01:29:51.000 Are you smoking cigarettes?
01:29:52.000 We worked out in the basement.
01:29:54.000 That's where the wrestling room was.
01:29:55.000 It's all fucking asbestos in there.
01:29:57.000 Everybody probably inhaled half a pound of that shit.
01:30:00.000 The insulation was all...
01:30:02.000 It was in 1981 or whatever the fuck it was.
01:30:05.000 And Mark would wrestle and then he would go outside and smoke a cigarette in the snow.
01:30:08.000 And he's standing there and he's fucking wrestling, all sweaty and shit, smoking a cigarette with his girlfriend in the snow.
01:30:14.000 I was like, what a crazy asshole.
01:30:16.000 But he was just such a wild motherfucker when he wrestled.
01:30:20.000 That kid could have been a legit killer wrestler.
01:30:24.000 Everybody's met guys like that.
01:30:25.000 They just have a few vices that they can never let go.
01:30:30.000 I know you want to hang.
01:30:32.000 They take it to a high level, but they can't keep going.
01:30:35.000 They get to a real high level, and they just sort of flatline.
01:30:38.000 They don't keep continuing on that upward path.
01:30:41.000 The most difficult dance is to maintain your balance through the entire progression as a fighter.
01:30:49.000 Now as a fighter, through life.
01:30:51.000 I feel like fighting in my mirror is life for sure.
01:30:55.000 It's this accelerated...
01:30:58.000 View of what happens in life.
01:31:00.000 Yeah, and anything that is very, very difficult.
01:31:04.000 I always think about that as fights as poetry for the actual act of living life.
01:31:09.000 If you look at each individual fight, it has a story.
01:31:13.000 If you break it down frame by frame, and you do that for your job, if you really think about it, a lot of it is, we get so used to it and desensitized to it, but every fight has a little story in it.
01:31:25.000 That's what makes Mixed Martial Arts really interesting to me.
01:31:29.000 Because everything you do, your life can play out in just this exact particular way as a fight.
01:31:36.000 They mirror each other.
01:31:38.000 And shit can happen.
01:31:39.000 And shit can happen.
01:31:40.000 Do you look at your career like your future ahead and say, you know, hey, you know, this is when I'm going to get out.
01:31:47.000 I have, you know, X amount of years before shit starts to get slippery.
01:31:51.000 Yeah, I think we talked about this before.
01:31:53.000 Like, I feel like, yeah, you know, at some point your body goes.
01:31:56.000 Like, you got to go, okay, and look at it from, you know, I don't know, you have to take that as a fighter.
01:32:01.000 You have to take that from every angle.
01:32:03.000 You know what I mean?
01:32:04.000 And see what's best for you.
01:32:05.000 You know, there's guys that, you know, plenty of guys.
01:32:07.000 Nobody goes out on top.
01:32:09.000 You know what I mean?
01:32:09.000 You got a porn star career, kind of.
01:32:11.000 Yeah, you have to.
01:32:12.000 There's some guys, I don't know.
01:32:14.000 It's just, what can you do in the time that you have to do with it?
01:32:18.000 What I was trying to get at was, do you map it out?
01:32:22.000 Do you write down the things you want to do?
01:32:25.000 Yeah, I do.
01:32:27.000 This is getting kind of weird.
01:32:28.000 I feel personal now.
01:32:29.000 Yeah, it feels personal.
01:32:31.000 It's personal for me too.
01:32:32.000 I've come over to my house and I have my motivation things on the wall and I get fucking embarrassed because people read them.
01:32:38.000 What kind of a clown are you?
01:32:40.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:32:41.000 One of them was super embarrassing.
01:32:43.000 Singles fucking tick him off.
01:32:45.000 I want to get my asshole bleached.
01:32:47.000 One of my little things that I wrote down is be someone that you'd be envious of.
01:32:51.000 I'm like, God, what a douchey fucking thing to read.
01:32:53.000 Yeah, whatever, that's awesome.
01:32:55.000 It's a good idea to try to live your life by that.
01:32:57.000 It is, it's good.
01:32:58.000 Most people don't do this, but you have to set out to become an interesting person because no one's born that way.
01:33:05.000 You have to do things in your life to make...
01:33:07.000 I think there are people that are absolutely interesting without even trying.
01:33:10.000 They just think a certain way and they have certain interests and certain desires.
01:33:13.000 I don't think you have to set out to.
01:33:15.000 Yeah, but they went somewhere.
01:33:16.000 They started venturing down that trail.
01:33:18.000 Maybe it's just because that's what fascinated them.
01:33:22.000 Man, you guys are chicken and egg right now.
01:33:24.000 You guys always do that.
01:33:25.000 That's pretty interesting.
01:33:27.000 I think wild statements like no one ever blank.
01:33:31.000 For sure, someone can be interesting without trying.
01:33:33.000 I know a lot of people that are just probably autistic and just geniuses and absolutely fascinating and they're not trying at all.
01:33:39.000 I know video game coders.
01:33:41.000 You ever talk to one of those head guys?
01:33:43.000 You mean some guys just hit the lottery and are interesting naturally?
01:33:47.000 Well, they're just fascinating.
01:33:48.000 They're just fascinating people without trying at all.
01:33:50.000 I feel like everybody got a story.
01:33:52.000 Everybody.
01:33:52.000 Some people have no story.
01:33:54.000 Get out of here.
01:33:54.000 Some people born, eat shit, dig hole, then die.
01:33:57.000 Well, that's a story in itself, and there could be some beauty in there.
01:34:00.000 It's sort of one of those little stories.
01:34:01.000 That's a coming-of-age story.
01:34:03.000 It's a coming-of-age tale.
01:34:04.000 You get a jack-in-the-box.
01:34:05.000 Remember you get a little storybook and a jack-in-the-box?
01:34:07.000 That's that guy's life.
01:34:09.000 I couldn't afford Jack in the Box.
01:34:10.000 You couldn't afford Jack in the Box?
01:34:12.000 Not Jack in the Box.
01:34:13.000 What is a Cracker Jack?
01:34:14.000 McDonald's?
01:34:15.000 Oh, Cracker Jack.
01:34:17.000 That's a whole different thing.
01:34:19.000 I was trying to think of the little toys that you got, and I said Jack in the Box instead of Cracker Jack.
01:34:22.000 And they had the little tattoos.
01:34:23.000 I was real confused.
01:34:24.000 I'm like, what?
01:34:25.000 I mean, whatever.
01:34:27.000 You know what it was?
01:34:27.000 You were talking about how delicious Jack in the Box is.
01:34:29.000 Yeah!
01:34:30.000 I totally hypnotized your eyes!
01:34:33.000 Man, I had a kickboxing trainer.
01:34:34.000 You know who Master Todd is?
01:34:35.000 Sure.
01:34:36.000 That guy is an interesting, interesting character.
01:34:38.000 You were telling me when we were at that professional Muay Thai place?
01:34:41.000 Yeah!
01:34:41.000 He was holding pads for me and I'm like, alright.
01:34:44.000 And he's like, no, no.
01:34:45.000 No look at pads!
01:34:46.000 I'm like, don't look at the pads?
01:34:48.000 No look at the pads!
01:34:50.000 I'm like, okay, I won't look at the pads.
01:34:52.000 He's like, no.
01:34:53.000 Look at my eyes!
01:34:54.000 Look my eyes!
01:34:56.000 Hypnotize my eyes!
01:34:57.000 Hypnotize my eyes?
01:34:58.000 Hypnotize my eyes!
01:34:59.000 That's what he would say when you hit pads with him?
01:35:01.000 Yes!
01:35:01.000 And I had to look him in the eyes!
01:35:03.000 And try not to laugh!
01:35:05.000 Yes!
01:35:08.000 People don't know.
01:35:11.000 Explain that for people who don't know.
01:35:12.000 That's fucking the Y crew.
01:35:13.000 You have to do this dance before you go into the ring, and you want to do the dance, and it's like, you know, I mean, it's cool when you see it.
01:35:19.000 But explain the music while the fight's going on.
01:35:21.000 Okay, yeah, three minute rounds, okay, the whole time.
01:35:24.000 It's like the cafe scene from Star Wars music.
01:35:28.000 I'm sorry.
01:35:28.000 It's very weird, interesting.
01:35:30.000 You think a girl dancing with blue hair, I mean blue tubes coming out of her head?
01:35:34.000 We can play it.
01:35:35.000 We can play it.
01:35:36.000 What is it called?
01:35:36.000 Will you?
01:35:37.000 Yeah, what is it called?
01:35:37.000 Just put a Y-Crew in the internet.
01:35:39.000 W-Y-U-K-R-U. There's two words.
01:35:42.000 Or Thai music.
01:35:43.000 Y-Crew, Y-Crew music.
01:35:45.000 Muay Thai music.
01:35:45.000 You can put Muay Thai music in there because Sarge, before we battle that Call of Duty.
01:35:51.000 Yeah, he puts the point time music and does the dance.
01:35:53.000 Like he does the Y crew.
01:35:55.000 No joke, Brian.
01:35:56.000 He like does the little dance that I'm going to kill you.
01:35:58.000 I'm like, really, dude?
01:35:59.000 Where are you?
01:36:00.000 He does that before you train?
01:36:01.000 No, but yeah.
01:36:02.000 No, no, no, no.
01:36:04.000 I'm saying sorry.
01:36:05.000 Imagine a douchebag.
01:36:05.000 You guys got to fucking dance.
01:36:07.000 Who are you training with Muay Thai now?
01:36:12.000 Cordero?
01:36:13.000 Yeah, Cordero.
01:36:13.000 Rafael Cordero?
01:36:14.000 Yeah.
01:36:14.000 What an honor that is, huh?
01:36:15.000 You're training with the man from fucking Shoot the Bucks.
01:36:18.000 We have a crazy team right now.
01:36:20.000 So what people don't know is this sound, when you're watching Muay Thai, this is played through the entire fight.
01:36:26.000 It's fucking awesome, man.
01:36:28.000 This is exactly the song that he had on the tape.
01:36:30.000 He had a tape, not a fucking CD, a tape of this music playing three minutes and then in the middle of the rounds, you know, the one minute rest period, was Everybody dance now!
01:36:43.000 I'm like, whoa.
01:36:44.000 What the hell are you doing?
01:36:45.000 Put that music on a little bit in the background.
01:36:47.000 Put it on.
01:36:47.000 It's dope.
01:36:48.000 I want to dance.
01:36:49.000 I used to not like it.
01:36:50.000 When I was younger, I would say, this is gross.
01:36:52.000 Why do they have to play this music?
01:36:53.000 But now, as I've gotten older and embraced differences in cultures, I find it fascinating.
01:36:57.000 I love that it exists.
01:36:59.000 You know what?
01:37:00.000 That World Muay Thai thing we saw, that thing was awesome.
01:37:02.000 It was awesome.
01:37:03.000 The first match, I was like, oh, I'm not used to this.
01:37:06.000 Man, am I in a second match, third match?
01:37:08.000 I was like, this is great.
01:37:09.000 Loved it.
01:37:09.000 Yeah, especially, you know, the crazy stuff.
01:37:11.000 Real high-level stuff.
01:37:12.000 Yeah, the crazy stuff that happened.
01:37:13.000 The elbow, crazy elbows those guys caught each other with and stuff.
01:37:17.000 Like, it was great.
01:37:17.000 We saw Buakau Palpromak.
01:37:19.000 I think that's how you say his name.
01:37:21.000 We saw him get his 198th win.
01:37:25.000 Yeah.
01:37:25.000 He was so relaxed.
01:37:27.000 He was like a Zen master, bro.
01:37:28.000 Dude, he's so good.
01:37:29.000 And he's not even 30 or he's just turning 30 or something like that.
01:37:33.000 He's probably been pro for 17 years.
01:37:34.000 God damn it, he's good.
01:37:35.000 He dismantled Homeboy.
01:37:37.000 He dismantled Homeboy and he did it so relaxed.
01:37:40.000 It was like this guy never had a chance.
01:37:42.000 It was all technique.
01:37:44.000 Like everything he did, he was always in the right place.
01:37:46.000 Yeah, his knees, his kicks.
01:37:49.000 He fought that whole fight with the knees, basically.
01:37:52.000 Yeah.
01:37:52.000 Because he just came out with a diagonal knee every time and it...
01:37:55.000 Actually, in the third round, he started doing that.
01:37:59.000 Because now he found that was his point where he could hit him with.
01:38:01.000 But he also did a lot of outside kicks and hooks.
01:38:05.000 It was all landed.
01:38:06.000 Even to his body.
01:38:08.000 He kicked that guy's arms everywhere.
01:38:11.000 He was so relaxed.
01:38:12.000 He's like Zen when he fights.
01:38:13.000 He could see it.
01:38:14.000 He's so chill.
01:38:15.000 How about in the fourth round when he put his hand up and walked away from the dude?
01:38:19.000 He put his arm up and was like, should I take him now?
01:38:22.000 He turned to the audience and looks at the audience with his hand up.
01:38:25.000 His Y crew was awesome.
01:38:27.000 Yeah, his Y crew was his shit.
01:38:28.000 He was stomping on the ground.
01:38:30.000 What happened was, the other guy, I believe he's from Canada, I'm not sure.
01:38:34.000 He's from Canada, but he's from South Africa.
01:38:36.000 I don't know, I might be wrong.
01:38:37.000 South Africa.
01:38:38.000 The other guy apparently pushed him at the weigh-ins and got in his face and said a bunch of crazy shit, and so Buakal said he was going to punish him, and he told everyone.
01:38:46.000 So he did his Y crew pretending he was shooting arrows, so he's doing his little pre-fight dance.
01:38:51.000 Stop!
01:38:51.000 He stomps on the ground.
01:38:52.000 He's shooting arrows at the guy.
01:38:53.000 And he got in the guy's space way too close.
01:38:56.000 Where his fist was literally inches from the guy's face when he ended.
01:39:01.000 So it was really intense.
01:39:02.000 And then he went out there and just dismantled the dude.
01:39:04.000 Slowly but surely.
01:39:05.000 It was a good performance.
01:39:06.000 That guy had some flashes of greatness.
01:39:08.000 Hands.
01:39:08.000 Good hands.
01:39:09.000 His punching was really good.
01:39:11.000 And he came straight a few times and landed.
01:39:13.000 And came with a straight and hook combination.
01:39:15.000 Yeah.
01:39:15.000 You see the experience of Bukha, how he would fade back when the dude was attacking?
01:39:19.000 The guy was coming after him with punches, but he would just fade back and then knees, fade back and then knees, tie him up, bang, knees to the body, knees to the body.
01:39:27.000 He's like flippy knees where his fucking hip turns and just digs his knee into the side of your rib cage.
01:39:32.000 The torque and the fucking technique that that guy has, man.
01:39:36.000 And then he just started chopping homeboy's leg.
01:39:37.000 Whack!
01:39:39.000 You know, that weird Thai sort of press forward dance that they do?
01:39:42.000 When I watch that, though, it's crazy with that style of kickboxing.
01:39:47.000 You can get so much more loose than in mixed martial arts.
01:39:50.000 Oh, yeah.
01:39:50.000 Because you don't have to worry about getting taken down.
01:39:53.000 It's so crazy.
01:39:53.000 Yeah, it's kind of funny, isn't it?
01:39:55.000 To really see the highest level of striking, you can't have wrestling.
01:39:58.000 Yeah, it has to be.
01:39:58.000 Here's the rules.
01:39:58.000 Just kicking.
01:40:00.000 But, you know, that makes sense.
01:40:02.000 There's going to be a hybrid.
01:40:04.000 We're seeing it now.
01:40:05.000 The hybrid is bound to happen in mixed martial arts.
01:40:07.000 Do you think that for a young fighter who's developing, it's important to have just straight grappling matches and just straight kickboxing matches?
01:40:14.000 Well, not really.
01:40:15.000 Do you think that helps you at all?
01:40:16.000 I think it helps a little bit, but I think you definitely need to mix them because that's what's happening.
01:40:22.000 The real benefit is learning how to compete.
01:40:25.000 It's just like you doing stand-up, I'm sure.
01:40:28.000 It takes a long time to get comfortable or Jason fight.
01:40:30.000 Whatever it is that you specialize in, you have to put hours in.
01:40:33.000 It's tough if you're doing striking because maybe you're getting hit in the head for hours.
01:40:37.000 Grappling tends to be easier.
01:40:38.000 If you were competing every day, it would be so much easier.
01:40:42.000 Of course, your body wouldn't be able to withstand it, but mentally it would be so much easier than if you're competing once every six to nine months.
01:40:50.000 It's not enough to really get you going.
01:40:52.000 Yeah, well, don't most fighters have their best fights when they have a fight and then a short layoff and then another fight?
01:40:57.000 It's like you barely break camp, you relax a little bit, and then boom, you're already conditioned and you hop back in.
01:41:02.000 Actually, being consistent as a fighter is one of the most important things.
01:41:06.000 If you're just consistently training, you never really fall off.
01:41:09.000 You know what I mean?
01:41:10.000 Like, you get back in the room, and you work on things, and you actually have a roadmap to go somewhere at the end of this little special set of camp.
01:41:18.000 Like, I lifted weights one time.
01:41:19.000 Like, alright, this is what I'm going to do.
01:41:20.000 I'm going to get stronger during this part of my camp.
01:41:23.000 You know what I mean?
01:41:23.000 And then Ryan has me do stuff.
01:41:24.000 Alright, we're going to work exclusively on this ground and pound.
01:41:27.000 You know what I mean?
01:41:27.000 Just focus on that thing.
01:41:30.000 It really keeps your mind in tune and learning new stuff.
01:41:33.000 You know what I mean?
01:41:34.000 It's not like just putting in the grind hours.
01:41:37.000 I remember I've been with camps before where you just fight.
01:41:39.000 Let's just fight.
01:41:40.000 Yeah, we talked about this when we were out to dinner the other night in Colorado when you first started training with Dan.
01:41:46.000 Yeah, oh yeah, we just fought.
01:41:48.000 Me and Dan Henderson just fought every day.
01:41:50.000 I was like, in a high school gym.
01:41:53.000 I was like, alright, let's fight.
01:41:54.000 Like, oh, cool.
01:41:55.000 At first I was nervous to go training.
01:41:57.000 Like, man, I don't know, this would be stupid.
01:41:59.000 Man, I showed up to the damn wrestling room at some podunk high school.
01:42:04.000 And he was like, well, put your stuff on.
01:42:08.000 We're going to fight.
01:42:09.000 Like, kind of, you know?
01:42:10.000 I was like, alright, let's fight.
01:42:11.000 That's what he said, we're going to fight?
01:42:13.000 Yeah, basically.
01:42:14.000 He didn't say we're going to spar?
01:42:15.000 Nah, you know, that was the...
01:42:18.000 Didn't matter.
01:42:18.000 Okay, cool.
01:42:19.000 Let's fight.
01:42:19.000 Let's fight.
01:42:20.000 Call it spar, call it fight.
01:42:21.000 It was so fun, bro.
01:42:22.000 And I was so happy at that time in my life.
01:42:24.000 I was like, oh, yeah, good.
01:42:25.000 No pressure.
01:42:26.000 Just fucking no...
01:42:27.000 Like some trainer with a big-ass ego.
01:42:32.000 Just a dude like...
01:42:35.000 And another dude fighting.
01:42:36.000 And then some other guys fighting.
01:42:38.000 Yeah, but how did you guys work on technique?
01:42:40.000 Yeah, we just drilled a little bit, but it was basically like fighting too.
01:42:43.000 There's never a whole lot of this.
01:42:44.000 Yeah, me and Dan had so much fun.
01:42:46.000 Oh, let's fight.
01:42:47.000 Let's fight.
01:42:48.000 It was just so fun, man.
01:42:49.000 That's got to be some serious life experience though, as far as like for just the rest of your whole MMA career.
01:42:55.000 Oh, yeah.
01:42:56.000 The amount of rounds you put in with that fucking savage swinging at you.
01:42:59.000 Yeah, he's a bunch of hard as shit.
01:43:01.000 Yeah, you got to watch out for his right hand.
01:43:03.000 Yeah, fuck yeah you do.
01:43:05.000 That dude's right hand is ridiculous.
01:43:06.000 That uppercut that he caught Fedor with, that under uppercut.
01:43:09.000 Oh, that was just like, aha, you didn't know that was coming.
01:43:12.000 Yeah, but it was hard as fuck, dude.
01:43:14.000 Imagine that angle, though.
01:43:15.000 Yeah, that was a perfect punch right there.
01:43:17.000 Perfect placement, man.
01:43:18.000 He's just so confident in that fucking right hand.
01:43:20.000 We were talking about this before we started doing this podcast.
01:43:24.000 He's just reached some new level, man.
01:43:26.000 Throwing a bungalow.
01:43:27.000 Yeah.
01:43:27.000 Straight bungalow.
01:43:28.000 Listen, there's no secrets anymore.
01:43:31.000 Yeah.
01:43:31.000 Here, I'm going to show you what I'm going to do, and then I'm going to do it.
01:43:34.000 Yeah, you know, you got moved so good that it works on everybody.
01:43:37.000 You're going to do it.
01:43:38.000 Sure, yeah, there's guys.
01:43:39.000 I mean, look at Cody McKenzie and his fucking guillotine.
01:43:42.000 You know, he might never be able to beat elite-level guys, but that guy catches his fucking arm underneath your chin.
01:43:47.000 He's put 11 dudes out with that shit, and he catches guys.
01:43:50.000 He's got a weird, crazy guillotine where he goes under it, and then he squeezes it and turns it up and presses against it like this and just fucks you up, man.
01:43:58.000 And he's got that shit down laser tight.
01:44:00.000 It's funny when a guy's got one move like that.
01:44:03.000 He just can lock his shit up on you.
01:44:05.000 You know, like Husamar Paul Harris and his fucking heel hooks.
01:44:08.000 I didn't think they were...
01:44:11.000 You didn't think his heel hooks were that devastating?
01:44:13.000 Nah.
01:44:14.000 You rolled with him, right?
01:44:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:44:15.000 I wrestled with him.
01:44:16.000 He got me at an arm bar.
01:44:18.000 We were wrestling.
01:44:19.000 I thought I was really worried about that.
01:44:21.000 I was like, oh, here comes one of those crazy things, and I jumped out the way.
01:44:24.000 Like, I was like, I knew it was coming.
01:44:26.000 Yeah, I'm real good at that stuff.
01:44:28.000 I didn't think about it.
01:44:29.000 Yeah, and I'm flexible, so you got to catch me just right.
01:44:31.000 You know what I mean?
01:44:32.000 Like, you can't.
01:44:33.000 It's just rough to get in there.
01:44:34.000 He's going after those fucking things.
01:44:36.000 You probably just wouldn't tap.
01:44:37.000 That would be your problem.
01:44:38.000 You'd get your shit ripped apart again.
01:44:39.000 Yeah, man.
01:44:40.000 Maybe, yeah.
01:44:40.000 Like you did with Jacare?
01:44:41.000 Yeah, yeah, maybe, yeah.
01:44:42.000 Jacare, I remember watching that scrunching up while you were not tapping.
01:44:46.000 I was watching on TV going, and I didn't even feel any pain.
01:44:50.000 I was like, what are you doing?
01:44:51.000 I was like, let go of me.
01:44:52.000 Meanwhile, I just tore your ACL, right?
01:44:54.000 Yeah, I think so, yeah.
01:44:55.000 I was like, it popped it out right there.
01:44:57.000 It was crazy.
01:44:58.000 But, you know, in the moment, you don't care.
01:45:00.000 You just, like, you'll do anything.
01:45:01.000 Like, you know, I feel like...
01:45:04.000 Man, it'll be no problem.
01:45:05.000 Like, you'll have to carry me out of there.
01:45:07.000 Like, I'm not stopping no matter what.
01:45:09.000 Like, no matter what, I'm just gonna keep fighting and keep fighting.
01:45:11.000 What if you got Tim Sylvia'd?
01:45:13.000 What if you're, like, when he fought Frank Mir and his forearm snapped?
01:45:16.000 Yeah, I'll fight.
01:45:17.000 Of course.
01:45:18.000 Of course.
01:45:18.000 Really?
01:45:19.000 Yeah, whatever.
01:45:20.000 Just keep fighting.
01:45:21.000 I broke my thumb before and had to turn it around backwards and kept fighting.
01:45:25.000 Yeah, I smashed my hands and just keep punching with the same hand.
01:45:28.000 Do you worry about if something like the Tim Sylvia thing happened and you got kicked on it again that your arm might even have to be amputated?
01:45:34.000 Bro, at the time, you did not care about anything.
01:45:36.000 What do you mean?
01:45:37.000 All you're thinking about is just win the fight.
01:45:39.000 No matter what, you're just thinking that.
01:45:41.000 Just win the fight, no matter what.
01:45:42.000 If you catch on fire in the octagon, just keep fighting until you're nothing.
01:45:47.000 That's the only way to do it.
01:45:48.000 We've had these talks before.
01:45:51.000 If I'm getting killed in there, you better throw the towel in.
01:45:55.000 It's your responsibility.
01:45:57.000 I won't even care.
01:45:59.000 I'm not going to care.
01:46:00.000 It's your job to make sure I don't die.
01:46:02.000 I don't care.
01:46:04.000 If I end up retarded, he's going to kill me.
01:46:09.000 If I break my neck or something, I'm like this.
01:46:11.000 I said, man, just come.
01:46:12.000 Just shoot me.
01:46:13.000 Just put a bullet in my head.
01:46:15.000 What if they shot you and then a week later they figured out some new stem cell shit that brings you back 100%?
01:46:20.000 I don't want to be a vegetable, bro.
01:46:21.000 I don't want them to remember me as the vegetable.
01:46:22.000 Maybe just for a week.
01:46:23.000 Maybe a vegetable for a week.
01:46:25.000 Get out of here.
01:46:26.000 That doesn't happen, dude.
01:46:27.000 Maybe you'd be a vegetable for a year.
01:46:29.000 Would you be willing to be a vegetable for a year?
01:46:31.000 If they could figure out, like, look, Jason, I know you're in there, but in one week...
01:46:36.000 There's a guaranteed year?
01:46:37.000 How are you going to guarantee...
01:46:39.000 Oh, stem cell research?
01:46:40.000 Stem cell rejuvenation surgery.
01:46:42.000 They're going to just put a needle in your spine, inject it with stem cells.
01:46:45.000 I don't know, man.
01:46:46.000 You're going to blow like an avatar tree.
01:46:47.000 Yeah, buddy.
01:46:48.000 I would love that.
01:46:49.000 Actually, I changed my mind.
01:46:51.000 I'd change my mind.
01:46:52.000 If I could plug my ponytail into your butt and become you, I want to do that.
01:46:56.000 I want to do that.
01:46:56.000 That would be dope.
01:46:57.000 I would take that.
01:46:58.000 I would take that.
01:46:59.000 Could you imagine?
01:47:00.000 You could find out if people are completely full of shit or not the first time you fucked them.
01:47:03.000 That would be amazing.
01:47:04.000 That's the key to Avatar living.
01:47:06.000 Yeah!
01:47:06.000 Find out if people are full of shit.
01:47:08.000 This hoe's dirty.
01:47:08.000 I connected in the street of wisdom.
01:47:10.000 Bitch, you ain't never been to France.
01:47:12.000 Crazy lying asshole.
01:47:15.000 Ah!
01:47:19.000 Viva Malusi!
01:47:21.000 Alright, man, let me sit down.
01:47:23.000 Sit down, buddy.
01:47:24.000 I just got amped right now.
01:47:25.000 I'm sorry, guys.
01:47:26.000 That's what you do.
01:47:26.000 That's what you are.
01:47:27.000 That's why you're you.
01:47:28.000 There's nothing wrong with being crazy and having bursts.
01:47:31.000 Just try to manage it.
01:47:32.000 Do your best.
01:47:33.000 Are those yours or Joe's?
01:47:35.000 Wait, did you just ask me if these are my sunglasses or Joe Rogan's sunglasses?
01:47:39.000 I'll take that as a compliment because they're mine.
01:47:42.000 Well, I'll take that as a compliment that you would take that as a compliment.
01:47:45.000 Yeah, buddy.
01:47:46.000 How about that?
01:47:46.000 They look good on you.
01:47:47.000 Thanks, man.
01:47:50.000 So anyway, were we talking about rocket ships?
01:47:53.000 No, we're talking about you dealing with fame.
01:47:55.000 How are you dealing with fame?
01:47:56.000 Oh, yeah, it's weird for sure, man.
01:47:57.000 Freaking out?
01:47:58.000 Was it Bully Beatdown the big step, the first big step?
01:48:01.000 Yeah, but now, you know, being back down Ultimate Fighter status, that's a way different thing, man.
01:48:07.000 Because the UFC fans are like, man, they're excited fans all over the country.
01:48:14.000 They're excited.
01:48:15.000 They're super excited and up in your face.
01:48:17.000 It's great.
01:48:18.000 It's a whole different realm that I've gone to now.
01:48:21.000 So I'm like, oh, okay.
01:48:23.000 Because the Bully Beatdown people, there are people who watch TV. These are people that watch fights.
01:48:27.000 Right.
01:48:27.000 I don't know.
01:48:29.000 It's really interesting to see everyone.
01:48:31.000 And I love everybody.
01:48:32.000 It's crazy.
01:48:33.000 The UFC got me signed autographs and stuff.
01:48:35.000 I'm doing that.
01:48:37.000 What do you call that?
01:48:38.000 The Fan Expo.
01:48:40.000 In Houston, you're doing it too?
01:48:41.000 Yeah, so it feels good to connect with people who love mixed martial arts.
01:48:46.000 I'm like, oh, yeah, it's cool.
01:48:48.000 It's definitely a different world, though, too.
01:48:50.000 That's for sure.
01:48:51.000 And being famous...
01:48:53.000 It was some drama.
01:48:54.000 Well, you got slowly famous though, right?
01:48:56.000 Did you feel a bump when you started fighting on CBS? When you fought Jake Shields?
01:49:00.000 Was there any bump from that?
01:49:01.000 Yeah, of course.
01:49:02.000 That was like a million people watched that, right?
01:49:04.000 Yeah, a lot of people watched it.
01:49:05.000 Was it like a million?
01:49:06.000 How many people watched that on CBS? With the brawl?
01:49:08.000 Oh, the brawl thing?
01:49:09.000 Oh, that thing has been on the internet a bazillion times.
01:49:12.000 Everybody knows my name.
01:49:12.000 That was good for you in the long run.
01:49:14.000 In the long run.
01:49:15.000 It was.
01:49:15.000 But at the time, you know, everybody hates me.
01:49:17.000 I'm like, man, I wasn't even...
01:49:18.000 I was like, it wasn't even me.
01:49:19.000 I had to try to be like, I wish I could have been in on those meetings.
01:49:22.000 I would have straightened those bitches out right away.
01:49:24.000 I swear to God.
01:49:25.000 I would have sat all those fucks, Coker and all those dummies down.
01:49:28.000 I would have said, listen, why the fuck did he get in the octagon in the first place?
01:49:32.000 Why do you not have people watching the doors?
01:49:33.000 Why do you have so many people?
01:49:34.000 And if you're going to have a guy come in and talk shit to the other guy, how about you let the other guy have his fucking speech first and you inform him that he's going to be talking to this other guy afterwards.
01:49:41.000 And this is just marketing and trying to set up a fight.
01:49:43.000 They just didn't have control of the cage.
01:49:45.000 And then all of a sudden this one guy gets jumped by a bunch of fucking wild dogs and it's your fault?
01:49:50.000 I don't know.
01:49:51.000 That's ridiculous.
01:49:51.000 That makes sense to me.
01:49:52.000 It's completely, totally ridiculous.
01:49:54.000 It's the most one-sided perspective that they had just chosen.
01:49:58.000 Morrow looked at you with that famous picture that we talked about.
01:50:01.000 He's giving you the stink eye as you're walking by with a grin on your face in front of Gus Johnson while they're reapplying his makeup.
01:50:07.000 And you're walking by.
01:50:08.000 It is an epic picture.
01:50:09.000 I wanted to frame that picture.
01:50:10.000 It's epic.
01:50:11.000 It was the best picture I ever saw.
01:50:12.000 It's epic.
01:50:13.000 It explained my whole life right there.
01:50:15.000 Morrow is like tightening up his suit like Mayhem Miller.
01:50:18.000 Shame on you, Mayhem.
01:50:20.000 Who got that picture there?
01:50:22.000 I'll tell you what, man.
01:50:22.000 I've gotten to know Mauro.
01:50:23.000 I like Mauro Ranallo.
01:50:25.000 I hung out with him at the Muay Thai professional league thing.
01:50:27.000 He kept talking to me.
01:50:29.000 You know, they call me Mauro Wana.
01:50:31.000 That's what they call me.
01:50:32.000 Mauro Wana.
01:50:33.000 So we're going to get high.
01:50:34.000 I'm going to get high with Mauro Wana.
01:50:35.000 We're going to have a good time.
01:50:36.000 I like that dude, though.
01:50:38.000 He grew on me.
01:50:39.000 Mauro Ranallo grew on me.
01:50:40.000 That was great.
01:50:41.000 He's a fungus.
01:50:43.000 Dude, he's a fungus.
01:50:44.000 No, I like the guy.
01:50:45.000 He's funny.
01:50:47.000 He's always been real cool.
01:50:48.000 Yeah, he's a funny, cool dude.
01:50:50.000 I had to beef with him a couple times, but now I feel good with him.
01:50:54.000 Well, I had to go, hey dude, and then he responded.
01:50:57.000 I was like, oh, okay, I can respect that.
01:50:59.000 Cool.
01:51:00.000 I see his perspective, and he sees my perspective.
01:51:04.000 Very rarely does he ever say anything negative about fighters.
01:51:07.000 I appreciate that.
01:51:09.000 There's a lot of people out there that think that the way to get attention or the way to be snarky is to criticize fighters.
01:51:17.000 The Larry Merchant status?
01:51:20.000 If I was 60 years older, I'd kick your ass!
01:51:23.000 How funny is that?
01:51:24.000 That was the funniest shit ever!
01:51:26.000 He backpedaled the next day.
01:51:28.000 No, he didn't.
01:51:29.000 He backed up immediately when he came down and talked in front of him.
01:51:31.000 He goes, by the way, I don't believe, really, that if I was 50 years old, I could kick his ass.
01:51:36.000 And he was laughing.
01:51:37.000 I actually respected him for that.
01:51:38.000 It was kind of funny because he was so ridiculous.
01:51:40.000 What if he took him down and ground a pound?
01:51:41.000 You never know, bro.
01:51:41.000 Never know.
01:51:42.000 What if he was like, Elio Gracie, even at that age, he has a clinch.
01:51:45.000 He gets the clinch in the trip.
01:51:47.000 Now you are in my world.
01:51:49.000 The ground is the ocean, and I am a shark, and most people cannot swim.
01:51:53.000 Ha, ha, ha.
01:51:53.000 Larry Merchant's badass.
01:51:55.000 Imagine if Larry Merchant just fucking arm dragged him, took his back, snapped a fucking rear naked choke on him, and just rolled forward with the hooks in, stretches him out.
01:52:06.000 What the fuck?
01:52:07.000 And he just goes out.
01:52:08.000 He holds his own jacket lapel.
01:52:10.000 He holds his own jacket lapel.
01:52:11.000 Marcelo Garcia's that bitch.
01:52:13.000 Can Mayweather be in one boxing glove?
01:52:17.000 Just for the story.
01:52:22.000 There's a dude on the Underground that's got a screen name.
01:52:24.000 It was Art Jimerson's Glove.
01:52:25.000 I was laughing at that.
01:52:28.000 Yeah, there's nothing like...
01:52:30.000 You know, the Underground is awesome for good and for bad.
01:52:34.000 There's a lot of fucking...
01:52:36.000 Assholes and angry people and insulting people.
01:52:39.000 But there's a lot of fucking cool people on there, too.
01:52:41.000 Yeah, I agree.
01:52:42.000 That's one of the most unusual sites.
01:52:44.000 And I think a big part of one of the reasons why it's so cool is a huge percentage of the people on that site train.
01:52:49.000 You know?
01:52:49.000 On the underground, I would say like 30 or 40 percent.
01:52:51.000 It's old school.
01:52:52.000 There's a lot of old school people there, too.
01:52:53.000 Oh, yeah, man.
01:52:54.000 A lot.
01:52:54.000 Fucking noobs.
01:52:56.000 I remember it was SubmissionFighting.com.
01:52:59.000 I remember that, too.
01:53:00.000 And then it became MMA.tv, and then it became MixedMartialArts.com.
01:53:03.000 I remember I lost it for a while, and then it came back.
01:53:05.000 I was like, oh, this is the old one.
01:53:06.000 What year did it start?
01:53:07.000 I don't know, man.
01:53:08.000 It started in, like, 94 or 95. I remember I had AOL. I was a member back when I was on the old UFC, when I worked for the old UFC. So that was, like, 97 or 98, I became a member.
01:53:20.000 So I've been a member there forever.
01:53:22.000 Yeah, because it was back in the day.
01:53:24.000 And that was crazy, because that's a crazy way to have a sport thrive.
01:53:29.000 You know what I mean?
01:53:30.000 It connected on the internet.
01:53:31.000 And back then, those were the dark times that at a certain point, there was no MMA on TV at all.
01:53:36.000 Yeah.
01:53:37.000 He had a satellite dish.
01:53:38.000 That's why I got a satellite dish, because that's the only way you could watch the UFC. And then you could watch Pride.
01:53:42.000 Then all of a sudden, Pride was on, too.
01:53:44.000 And I was like, oh, there's another choice.
01:53:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:53:46.000 Occasionally, you'd have some weird fight that you could buy on pay-per-view, like Hicks and Gracie versus Funaki or something like that.
01:53:52.000 Yeah.
01:53:52.000 You know, Coliseum, MMA, you know, some new thing.
01:53:55.000 Yeah, old thing, but it was old at the time.
01:53:58.000 Well, there's not many startup shows ever get on pay-per-view, right?
01:54:02.000 Like the shark fights, is that pay-per-view or is that HDNet?
01:54:05.000 That was pay-per-view.
01:54:05.000 It was.
01:54:06.000 I think so.
01:54:06.000 I think it's HDNet now.
01:54:08.000 I think they did a pay-per-view.
01:54:09.000 They did a pay-per-view?
01:54:10.000 I think so.
01:54:10.000 It's fucking hard to sell a pay-per-view, you know?
01:54:13.000 We've got to get a lot of people knowing about it, yeah, that's for sure.
01:54:16.000 I know Fedor had one pay-per-view that did like miserable, like 10,000 fucking buys.
01:54:20.000 I don't think Pride ever did real well either.
01:54:22.000 No?
01:54:23.000 In the United States?
01:54:24.000 I don't think so.
01:54:25.000 Because you have to garner hype for a pay-per-view event, though.
01:54:28.000 You know what I mean?
01:54:28.000 If it's nothing, it's just like, you know, you want to garner hype for it.
01:54:32.000 Like, a UFC couldn't do it unless there was hype created to, you know, you really want to watch this pay-per-view.
01:54:38.000 I want to pay the $50.
01:54:39.000 Same thing with boxing.
01:54:40.000 The UFC is so super smart for putting as much shit on TV and regular TV as they can.
01:54:45.000 Versus and Spike TV and now Fox and FX. The Ultimate Fighter is going to be on FX now, which is going to be fucking huge.
01:54:52.000 That is huge, man.
01:54:53.000 And then fights on Fox are going to be nuts, man.
01:54:54.000 Because Louie's on that channel.
01:54:55.000 I love Louie.
01:54:56.000 Well, everything's good.
01:54:57.000 That's a good channel.
01:54:58.000 They go all the way back to The Shield.
01:55:00.000 I watched three or four shows from that, for sure.
01:55:03.000 Four different series on that same channel.
01:55:06.000 That's weird.
01:55:07.000 FX is badass.
01:55:08.000 So they're going to have the Ultimate Fighter on FX. They're going to revamp it, too.
01:55:11.000 They're going to figure out some new things.
01:55:12.000 And they're even going to do some live events, live on TV, like actual fights.
01:55:17.000 So it's going to be great.
01:55:18.000 Ultimate Fighter's going to be live next year, right?
01:55:19.000 Yeah, that's one.
01:55:20.000 That's crazy.
01:55:22.000 I love that.
01:55:22.000 I think it's a fantastic idea.
01:55:24.000 It's a fucking great idea.
01:55:24.000 Isn't it?
01:55:25.000 It's going to be wicked.
01:55:26.000 It's going to be a wicked show.
01:55:27.000 That would change the whole experience of it.
01:55:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:55:29.000 People knowing that a million people are going to watch it.
01:55:32.000 Yeah, the pressure is going to be different.
01:55:34.000 And it's going to be creepy.
01:55:35.000 A million people watching it live as it plays off.
01:55:37.000 But in there, what do you hear?
01:55:38.000 You hear just 10 people yelling.
01:55:40.000 Nothing changes.
01:55:40.000 20 people yelling.
01:55:41.000 It's awesome.
01:55:42.000 Yeah, that's going to be badass.
01:55:44.000 So only the fights will be live, and the rest of the show will be what's building up to this?
01:55:49.000 It'll be like 24-7 in that sense.
01:55:50.000 Yeah, that sounds good.
01:55:52.000 That sounds pretty badass.
01:55:53.000 They're going to have a storyline will play out, and then the people will be warming up, waiting for the storyline to end, and boom, we go right into the fight.
01:56:00.000 Crazy.
01:56:00.000 Do the fans vote on who fights?
01:56:02.000 Is that how it works?
01:56:03.000 I don't know.
01:56:04.000 It's a good question.
01:56:04.000 I don't think that's a good idea, though.
01:56:06.000 I like the idea of strategy, picking.
01:56:08.000 It's important.
01:56:10.000 It makes the show, yeah.
01:56:11.000 I feel like during my experience, and people are going to watch it on Spike right now, is that the fight picking and the strategy of it is a big, cool part of the show.
01:56:22.000 I think fans should be able to vote what they think is going to happen.
01:56:25.000 Vote who you think is going to win.
01:56:26.000 God damn it, why the fuck can't they bet on it?
01:56:30.000 You know, that makes me sick.
01:56:31.000 This nanny state little bitch ass government we have.
01:56:34.000 You should be able to bet on that everywhere.
01:56:36.000 When you go to the goddamn corner and you buy lottery tickets, you should be able to bet on Henderson versus Shogun.
01:56:41.000 You know, I'll take 50 bucks on Henderson.
01:56:43.000 You know, come on.
01:56:43.000 You should be able to do that.
01:56:44.000 Why can't you do that?
01:56:45.000 Why can't you do that?
01:56:46.000 It's ridiculous.
01:56:47.000 I don't understand really well.
01:56:48.000 We're protecting people from their own impulses and all the rest of us who can deal with it suffer.
01:56:52.000 Oh yeah, you're a social Darwinist.
01:56:54.000 Fuck yeah.
01:56:56.000 You gotta go to fucking Vegas to place a bet.
01:56:58.000 That's ridiculous.
01:56:58.000 I should be able to bet everywhere.
01:57:00.000 I should be able to have betting places.
01:57:01.000 As long as they're legitimate and they pay their taxes.
01:57:04.000 You know, Jesus Christ.
01:57:06.000 Are people so scared that dumb people are just going to blow all their money into the street immediately?
01:57:11.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that.
01:57:11.000 People protest against any vices.
01:57:13.000 People protest against anything that's tempting.
01:57:17.000 They protest against strip clubs for the same reason.
01:57:19.000 They don't want vice near them.
01:57:20.000 They don't want temptation.
01:57:22.000 You know, for people that can fucking handle it and enjoy it, it's a real pain in the ass, man.
01:57:26.000 It's a real pain in the ass so you can't just bet on fights.
01:57:29.000 Because it makes it much more interesting, even with your friends.
01:57:32.000 Like, if you watch fights with your buddies, do you ever bet, like, I'll bet, I got five bucks on this dude, even if you don't even know him, you're watching a Tough Enough or something like that.
01:57:38.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:57:39.000 You're like, I'll take five bucks on this skinny white dude.
01:57:40.000 Let's do it!
01:57:41.000 You know, it makes it more exciting.
01:57:43.000 That's for sure.
01:57:43.000 It does, right?
01:57:44.000 You're invested.
01:57:45.000 Yes!
01:57:45.000 Why the fuck isn't that legal?
01:57:47.000 That drives me nuts.
01:57:49.000 There's a lot of dumb people who have just spent all their money, and you could trick the dumb people into giving you all their money.
01:57:56.000 I'm 44 years old, and as I get older, I start thinking, I am probably going to eventually expire, and none of this shit will have changed.
01:58:05.000 It's going to be just as ridiculous as it was when I was seven, when I was a little boy.
01:58:09.000 It's going to be just as fucking stupid.
01:58:11.000 I don't know if it is.
01:58:12.000 We're involved in three different fucking wars right now.
01:58:14.000 The economy is based on unfixable bullshit that nobody understands.
01:58:18.000 The whole idea of what America is supposed to be is in decline.
01:58:23.000 Well, I know, but if you keep a positive mental attitude and try to affect change in any way you can, you're feeding into the solution and not the cause.
01:58:31.000 That's true.
01:58:31.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:58:32.000 You can't just go, fuck, this shit is shitty.
01:58:34.000 Let me just fucking hide.
01:58:36.000 That is true.
01:58:36.000 You've got to just go head on and everybody has got to do their part and get positive with it where we're going to build shit up.
01:58:43.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:58:44.000 Give me some Muay Thai music.
01:58:46.000 I'm just saying, all of this deserves to get pushed upwards and not just quit.
01:58:51.000 Dude, you should do seminars and motivation and get CEOs and get them up there and explain the mayhem philosophy.
01:58:57.000 I'm just saying, yeah, I'm working on it anyway.
01:59:00.000 Do it to this Muay Thai music.
01:59:01.000 Yeah, you're damn right.
01:59:02.000 You go out with those ankle bracelets on.
01:59:03.000 Thank you for listening to Mayhem Management.
01:59:07.000 Side one, tape two.
01:59:09.000 You certainly should try to push for positivity.
01:59:11.000 You certainly should try to push things in the right direction.
01:59:14.000 But at a certain point in time, you wonder, like, man, am I going to die and pot's still going to be illegal?
01:59:19.000 No, man.
01:59:19.000 The government's still going to be corrupt.
01:59:21.000 And it's like, I'm going to leave this earth exactly the same way I came in.
01:59:24.000 Nah, man.
01:59:25.000 It's a fucking mess.
01:59:26.000 It's not going to change in my lifetime.
01:59:27.000 People have made that argument forever, though.
01:59:29.000 Yeah, they have.
01:59:31.000 It's like saying that was the good old days.
01:59:33.000 It's not quick enough.
01:59:34.000 Evolution's not quick enough.
01:59:36.000 I feel like it needs to catch the fuck up.
01:59:39.000 I think social evolution needs to catch the fuck up.
01:59:41.000 The evolution of the human being and its interaction with its environment.
01:59:45.000 It needs to catch up.
01:59:49.000 We're at this fever pitch of technology, and the human animal, and it's all ridiculous bullshit that it drags along with it, is lagging behind.
01:59:56.000 That's what I think.
01:59:57.000 What?
01:59:57.000 I mean, so eventually we're all going to be plugged into the computers like a transcendent man, right?
02:00:02.000 Most likely.
02:00:03.000 Something along those lines is going to happen.
02:00:04.000 It just seems to me that that's inevitable.
02:00:06.000 That our integration is so fucking complete as it is, without it being a part of our actual physical body, you leave your fucking cell phone at home, and it feels like you left your dick in a jar.
02:00:15.000 Right.
02:00:15.000 I think it's going to be to the point where plastic surgery is going to be like taking out your eye and upgrading your eyes with the new night vision eye and stuff like that.
02:00:23.000 You're going to just start replacing parts in your body.
02:00:27.000 Yeah, of course.
02:00:27.000 That would be awesome.
02:00:28.000 But there's going to be people to clock block all that stuff too because people are afraid of science and technology.
02:00:33.000 Jesus, people.
02:00:34.000 Yeah, but if there's money to be had in it, it'll probably exist, as long as it can be patented.
02:00:37.000 The real issue is when things are awesome and people are scared of them and they're not patentable, like plants that are psychedelic plants, and that's the reason why those things are illegal.
02:00:46.000 Because if psychedelic plants were just a result of some fucking formula that someone figured out in a lab and he had a patent on it...
02:00:52.000 Well, by Jiminy Cricket, that shit would be available to prescribe for someone if they had some sort of an ailment.
02:00:57.000 Because there's a fuckload of money to be made from, you know, MDMA for post-traumatic stress disorder.
02:01:02.000 If that shit was, if somebody had created that and owned it and it hadn't been demonized, it would be for sure something that they would make a shitload of money off of.
02:01:11.000 Psychedelics are coming back in medicine now.
02:01:13.000 There's a little resurgence lately.
02:01:14.000 There is, yeah.
02:01:15.000 It's fascinating, isn't it?
02:01:16.000 Finally people are starting to accept.
02:01:18.000 The cancer patients?
02:01:20.000 Terminally ill patients given one dose of mushrooms one time, still 12 months later had significant benefits for accepting what's going on with them.
02:01:28.000 People have had cancer and taken ayahuasca and the cancer has gone into remission because they believe that it's completely altered the way they look and think about their body.
02:01:35.000 Ayahuasca?
02:01:36.000 It allows their body to naturally heal itself and to be relaxed to the point where its immune system can function correctly.
02:01:42.000 Ayahuasca is this orally active form of DMT. We talked about it so many times in this podcast, but for the people who don't know what it is, in the jungles of South America, they figured out a way to take the leaves of one plant, which contain DMT, and the vine of another plant, which contains an MAO inhibitor, which makes DMT orally active.
02:02:03.000 That book, Breaking Open the Head.
02:02:04.000 Yeah, he definitely took over as that.
02:02:06.000 Did Anthony Bourdain do that in one of his shows?
02:02:09.000 Yes, he did.
02:02:09.000 Did he?
02:02:10.000 But he said he didn't get off.
02:02:11.000 He said it was interesting and cool, but what I've heard from people, especially from McKenna, used to talk about how when you go down to South America, they have to really trust you before they dose you up.
02:02:22.000 Like, they don't want some crazy gringos running around howling at the moon, so they give you, like, weak doses.
02:02:27.000 And he was saying that as the tourism of these ayahuasca communities become more and more prevalent, as more and more people go down to have this experience, there's a lot of people that are having bad trips, and there's a lot of people that are wary about the gringos.
02:02:38.000 So they come in, and you come in with a fucking camera crew, and you're like, hey, I want to try this ayahuasca, and you've got a ring on your thumb, you know, like poor Dane does, they're going to look at you, yeah, yeah, yeah, give them some weak-ass shit, you know?
02:02:48.000 I don't know.
02:02:49.000 This is...
02:02:50.000 Like, he doesn't get to see our God!
02:02:52.000 Get out of here!
02:02:53.000 But if you have the strong shit, I mean, everybody says when you take the strong shit that the experience is undeniable.
02:02:59.000 So it seemed to me that, like, I've heard people have DMT trips like that, too.
02:03:02.000 I met a woman on a plane back from Brazil.
02:03:04.000 That was the whole reason she was there.
02:03:06.000 Well, they'll tell you.
02:03:07.000 Oh, for ayahuasca?
02:03:09.000 A spiritual journey.
02:03:10.000 Well, DMT is legal in Brazil as well.
02:03:13.000 There's two different churches, something Universidade de Vigital and another one.
02:03:19.000 There's two different churches that use DMT as a sacrament along with using Christianity.
02:03:25.000 So they pray about Jesus and then they take ayahuasca.
02:03:29.000 Yeah, it's fucking nuts, man.
02:03:30.000 Interesting.
02:03:30.000 Yeah, but it's legal somehow or another.
02:03:33.000 And it actually won in the Supreme Court.
02:03:36.000 Oh, in Brazil?
02:03:37.000 Yeah, no, in America.
02:03:38.000 Oh, in America?
02:03:39.000 In America, they brought it over from Brazil.
02:03:41.000 They're accepted in Brazil, and they're accepted at their sacrament, this ayahuasca tea.
02:03:45.000 So you can take this legit?
02:03:46.000 Under religious freedom, then.
02:03:48.000 Yes, under religious freedom, you can take it.
02:03:50.000 And there's sex, I know for sure, in New Mexico.
02:03:53.000 Yeah, but I think there's other places in America too.
02:03:56.000 So you just convert to this religion?
02:03:56.000 Yeah, you just convert and just take some DMT and sing songs about Jesus.
02:04:01.000 That sounds like a weekend right there, bro.
02:04:03.000 Well, apparently they have really strong stuff too.
02:04:06.000 I have a friend who did it and went through the whole experience and said it's so bizarre.
02:04:10.000 He said, first of all, everyone's wearing uniforms.
02:04:12.000 They wear like the same clothes and they're wearing uniforms and they're taking this really strong DMT brew and they're singing songs about Jesus.
02:04:20.000 Instead, it's like, what the fuck is going on here?
02:04:22.000 It's like, it's so weird.
02:04:23.000 There's so many different messages there.
02:04:25.000 It's so strange.
02:04:26.000 Yeah.
02:04:27.000 Yeah.
02:04:27.000 I'm saying, I would hate to be tripping balls and Jesus yelling at me.
02:04:30.000 Or not, man.
02:04:31.000 Maybe you get used to it and you start to like it.
02:04:33.000 And what Jesus represents to you is something like super duper positive and really loving and all knowing.
02:04:39.000 And in actually thinking about this thing, you can actually manifest those types of thoughts and ideas.
02:04:44.000 And that's why they do it.
02:04:45.000 Yeah, I can understand that.
02:04:46.000 I can understand being in a group of people, and no matter what it is, they're using Jesus as the term.
02:04:52.000 You guys are all connected.
02:04:54.000 You know what I mean?
02:04:54.000 I've felt that experience before.
02:04:56.000 It's unfortunate that Bourdain didn't get a good dose.
02:04:58.000 I would love to have heard his fucking full blast-off trip story.
02:05:02.000 Why don't you go into it?
02:05:02.000 Because of the alligators?
02:05:03.000 I don't want to go to the Amazon.
02:05:05.000 I would love to do it here.
02:05:06.000 But people are doing it here, first of all.
02:05:08.000 There's shamans who've been trained that have come to America, and I know where I could do it here.
02:05:12.000 I know a bunch of people I could do it here with.
02:05:13.000 You can do it here, especially in Hawaii.
02:05:15.000 There's a bunch of people doing it in Hawaii.
02:05:16.000 What's that?
02:05:17.000 Let's do it in Van Nuys.
02:05:18.000 You can do it in places.
02:05:19.000 My point is, you don't have to go to the jungle.
02:05:21.000 I don't want to do this mystical route.
02:05:23.000 We're going to Keys.
02:05:24.000 We're going to Riverside, bro.
02:05:26.000 You know, this is one of the things I want to talk to you about before we were talking about why I like to live in the woods.
02:05:31.000 You know, why I like to live, like, way the fuck away from people.
02:05:33.000 I believe that one of the best reasons why you take ayahuasca in the jungle is that you are in this place where the energy of the plant and the experience, it all comes from this one spot.
02:05:47.000 And that one spot doesn't have a lot of Wi-Fi signals, it doesn't have pollution, it doesn't have...
02:05:52.000 This doesn't have cell phones fucking flying through your ear and radiation.
02:05:56.000 It's just nature, man.
02:05:58.000 And there's a silence that comes with real nature.
02:06:02.000 And all you hear is animals and monkeys.
02:06:04.000 You've never been deer hunting?
02:06:06.000 No, I've never been deer hunting.
02:06:07.000 You're sitting in a tree stand looking at a beautiful ridge.
02:06:10.000 Waiting.
02:06:11.000 Thinking, I'm going to kill you.
02:06:13.000 And just, you're sitting there, and it's just so beautiful.
02:06:15.000 And you're meditating.
02:06:16.000 You're zen.
02:06:16.000 You're sitting there, and the sun is coming up, and man, I can see it's super zen.
02:06:21.000 Like, you're like, and just looking for any movement or hear any sound.
02:06:24.000 It's crazy.
02:06:25.000 It's like a different level.
02:06:26.000 You're a real predator.
02:06:27.000 You're really tuning into it.
02:06:28.000 That's what I mean, yeah.
02:06:29.000 And you don't move.
02:06:30.000 You don't move.
02:06:31.000 I'm going to do ayahuasca in a hospital, because that's where life and death is created, you know?
02:06:36.000 Sure.
02:06:37.000 That would be a bad idea.
02:06:37.000 That would be like a headquarter.
02:06:39.000 You should do it in a warehouse.
02:06:40.000 You'd be like scratching the cap.
02:06:43.000 He's scratching your face off in a corner.
02:06:45.000 Like, I don't know, dude.
02:06:46.000 I read about Mark Zuckerberg, the guy who produced Facebook.
02:06:49.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:06:50.000 He started hunting and gathering his own food now because he wanted to take responsibility for the food he ate.
02:06:54.000 He was just going to eat vegetables.
02:06:56.000 Unless it's meat, he killed himself.
02:06:57.000 So he shot a fucking bison.
02:06:59.000 I like that.
02:07:00.000 I like that idea, man.
02:07:02.000 The hunter-gatherer needs is very much like the pussy needs.
02:07:07.000 If you neglect them, they'll go some weird direction.
02:07:10.000 I think he's just practicing for Facebook to collapse.
02:07:13.000 He's like, I need to figure out how to make food.
02:07:15.000 Facebook and civilization.
02:07:17.000 He's got a compound, I'm sure, by now.
02:07:19.000 That guy's got billions of dollars, doesn't he?
02:07:21.000 Some crazy-ass money.
02:07:22.000 He should have killed it with a knife.
02:07:24.000 Dude, compounds are the way to go.
02:07:26.000 If you can afford it, a big place.
02:07:27.000 That's what I said about you on the way over here, because you're on the compound.
02:07:30.000 Yeah, that's the way to do it.
02:07:31.000 I want to go deep.
02:07:33.000 I want to go deep.
02:07:34.000 High fence, compounds.
02:07:35.000 I can't wait to come to your compound, dude.
02:07:37.000 That's going to be awesome.
02:07:38.000 People hired to patrol the perimeter.
02:07:40.000 Whatever, dude.
02:07:41.000 We're going to ride wild animals inside.
02:07:43.000 That's what I mean.
02:07:44.000 You should have your own fire truck.
02:07:45.000 Yeah.
02:07:45.000 Can we have mountain lions?
02:07:47.000 Well, there's a thing called the fire break system that you can set up on roofs now.
02:07:50.000 And what it is, is when a certain heat is reached, they disperse this chemical all over your roof that makes the house much less vulnerable to fire.
02:07:58.000 So you've got to set things like that up.
02:07:59.000 If you're going to live in the woods, you've got to clear out the area all around your house and make sure that you've got the fucking most powerful fireproof windows available.
02:08:07.000 And set up that fire break system.
02:08:09.000 Wait, where are we talking here?
02:08:11.000 Make sure you can remote control your sprinkler system, too.
02:08:14.000 All around the house.
02:08:15.000 On top of the house.
02:08:16.000 Wow, and still you're probably fucked.
02:08:18.000 But still you're probably fucked because those embers fly through the air and they just land on shit and start cooking.
02:08:22.000 Do you have a survival kit put together?
02:08:23.000 Oh yeah, it's fun.
02:08:24.000 Let me tell you something.
02:08:25.000 I've got food stocked up, water stocked up.
02:08:28.000 I made fun of people up until two weeks ago.
02:08:30.000 Remember in San Diego, Orange County, that blackout?
02:08:33.000 Blackout happened.
02:08:34.000 I realized I got a three and a half month old baby at home, a four year old, my wife, and I am completely unprepared.
02:08:39.000 I have no food.
02:08:41.000 I have no way to keep anything cold.
02:08:42.000 I have no way to heat anything up.
02:08:44.000 Then I drove down the hill and it's dark where I live in Dana Point.
02:08:48.000 It's totally dark.
02:08:48.000 Gas stations don't work.
02:08:49.000 Then I'm thinking, wait a minute.
02:08:52.000 I don't I don't get that good of mileage on my car.
02:08:55.000 How quick till I run out of gas?
02:08:56.000 And you can't pump any gas.
02:08:58.000 I think it would take four or five days for things just to go completely crazy.
02:09:01.000 Can you store gas at your house?
02:09:03.000 How?
02:09:03.000 In your trash can?
02:09:04.000 Not really.
02:09:05.000 Would you set up a giant ass tank and have your own gas at your house?
02:09:08.000 Yeah, that's legit.
02:09:08.000 You could do it.
02:09:09.000 Can you?
02:09:10.000 I'm sure you're allowed to.
02:09:11.000 I don't think you're allowed to.
02:09:12.000 Wait, time out.
02:09:13.000 You're not allowed to have a bunch of gas in your backyard?
02:09:15.000 No.
02:09:15.000 If you have a garage, what you can do is you can keep just that thing out.
02:09:18.000 If you had your own gas station in your house, you could fuel up.
02:09:22.000 You could get a gas tank that's set up in your backyard.
02:09:24.000 We have farmers do it.
02:09:25.000 You're saying it's illegal?
02:09:26.000 I think if you're a farmer, you probably can do it because that's your business.
02:09:30.000 But I don't think you can have a gas station on your lawn.
02:09:32.000 You know what?
02:09:33.000 It's zoned.
02:09:33.000 It's probably zoned.
02:09:35.000 Just have a bicycle.
02:09:38.000 That would be the dopest shit ever.
02:09:40.000 If you had your own gas station, you would think that, like Jay Leno, maybe that you could do.
02:09:44.000 You could buy a shitty gas station and just use it for your own personal gas.
02:09:49.000 Nah, bro.
02:09:50.000 Gas stations go under left and right.
02:09:51.000 Maybe Jay Leno does have a thing on his house, and I'm imagining it.
02:09:54.000 Actually, am I making that up?
02:09:55.000 Do gas stations ever go under?
02:09:56.000 Gas stations seem to be open all the time.
02:09:59.000 When was the last time a gas station went over?
02:10:01.000 I guess they do.
02:10:02.000 Some of them go out of business.
02:10:02.000 I'll tell you when.
02:10:03.000 When?
02:10:03.000 Downtown Boston, there's no gas station.
02:10:05.000 It's true.
02:10:06.000 The two that were there, closed.
02:10:07.000 It's true.
02:10:08.000 It's true.
02:10:09.000 I know, because we ran out of gas.
02:10:10.000 We ran out of gas on the way somewhere, and I made us late.
02:10:13.000 Oh, okay.
02:10:14.000 I have a little bit left in the car.
02:10:16.000 We drove all around.
02:10:16.000 You know, it's like driving downtown Boston.
02:10:18.000 Right.
02:10:18.000 So we finally stopped in.
02:10:20.000 We went to the fire station and asked for gas.
02:10:23.000 Really?
02:10:24.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
02:10:25.000 I had to hire a driver.
02:10:26.000 It cost me $50 to drive me.
02:10:28.000 It took probably a 10-minute drive from where we stayed in Boston.
02:10:31.000 To go get some gas and go back to your car.
02:10:34.000 Yeah, Boston's a weird place with zoning and shit, too.
02:10:37.000 They really prize their historical relevance, so you've got to be real careful where you build things.
02:10:42.000 It's a trip, though.
02:10:43.000 When you drive down, you see those signs on some of the buildings built in 1650. Yeah, for sure.
02:10:48.000 Look at Beacon Hill.
02:10:49.000 That whole neighborhood was from, what, 1700s?
02:10:51.000 Yeah.
02:10:51.000 Yeah, isn't that nuts?
02:10:52.000 That is nuts, bro.
02:10:53.000 Walking around there, I felt like I was back in time a bunch of times.
02:10:56.000 Beacon Hill's weird, too, because isn't a lot of it like apartments?
02:10:59.000 Yep.
02:11:00.000 They're old-ass buildings.
02:11:01.000 Big buildings that are like houses.
02:11:04.000 They're sort of apartments for houses.
02:11:06.000 Yeah, row houses connected to each other, and they're worth a shitload of money.
02:11:10.000 Yeah, of course.
02:11:10.000 Two, three, four, five million dollars.
02:11:11.000 Yeah, and there's no backyard.
02:11:13.000 You get nothing.
02:11:14.000 Nothing.
02:11:15.000 No backyard.
02:11:15.000 Just a house jammed right next to another house.
02:11:17.000 Looks cool, though.
02:11:18.000 Looks cool.
02:11:19.000 And across the street, there's a park.
02:11:21.000 Yep.
02:11:21.000 I ran through that all the time.
02:11:23.000 It was crazy.
02:11:23.000 Boston Commons?
02:11:24.000 Yeah.
02:11:25.000 It was crazy.
02:11:25.000 Great city.
02:11:26.000 Yeah, it was amazing.
02:11:26.000 I love that city, man.
02:11:28.000 It's amazing.
02:11:28.000 This is really awesome.
02:11:29.000 Like, you know, just to see all that old stuff, you were just like shocked.
02:11:34.000 We had the ultimate Boston experience.
02:11:35.000 St. Paddy's Day dropkick Murphy's.
02:11:38.000 It couldn't get anymore, but on St. Paddy's Day, it was crazy.
02:11:41.000 Oh, my God.
02:11:42.000 I'm going to England, to Birmingham.
02:11:44.000 We're going for the UFC in November, and I think I'm going to take a trip to Stonehenge.
02:11:48.000 I'm going to go check that shit out.
02:11:50.000 I want to see some real old monuments.
02:11:52.000 Yeah.
02:11:52.000 What is that anyway?
02:11:53.000 No one even got it now.
02:11:55.000 They believe it's some sort of a calendar.
02:11:56.000 They don't know exactly who built it.
02:11:58.000 You know, it's a fascinating little piece of sculpture.
02:12:00.000 What if it was just some caveman who was like, whatever.
02:12:02.000 Let's put this up.
02:12:03.000 Yeah.
02:12:04.000 I mean, but it is weird.
02:12:06.000 Yeah.
02:12:07.000 It's a weird structure.
02:12:10.000 Is there some strange thing?
02:12:13.000 How do they get that up there?
02:12:14.000 They don't know, but probably levers.
02:12:18.000 Maybe there was a bunch of trees over there before.
02:12:20.000 It was probably a big mountain and they just carved it out of the mountain.
02:12:23.000 It looks like they carried it.
02:12:26.000 There's a crazy carving into the mountains of a horse.
02:12:30.000 You ever seen that?
02:12:31.000 It's like this white carving.
02:12:33.000 I don't know how the fuck they did it, but it's carving.
02:12:35.000 They don't even know who did it.
02:12:36.000 Just thousands of years old.
02:12:37.000 Wait, where's that?
02:12:38.000 In England?
02:12:38.000 Yeah, in England.
02:12:41.000 There's stuff like that that they sort of found, and no one remembers how it got there.
02:12:46.000 Stonehenge is a perfect example.
02:12:48.000 They found it.
02:12:49.000 And by the time they found it, when modern times people found it, they were like, what the fuck is this?
02:12:55.000 And everybody's like, that?
02:12:57.000 Yeah.
02:12:58.000 What the fuck is that?
02:12:59.000 I can't remember.
02:13:00.000 We did this so long ago.
02:13:02.000 We weren't here for years.
02:13:04.000 Been around for so long.
02:13:06.000 And then they have crop circles all over the place down there, too.
02:13:09.000 Such a freaky fucking little place.
02:13:10.000 What do you mean crop circles?
02:13:11.000 Crop circles.
02:13:12.000 You ever seen crop circles?
02:13:14.000 Those designs that show up in wheat fields?
02:13:16.000 Yeah.
02:13:18.000 Oh, they did that back in the day?
02:13:20.000 Yeah, and it's the ultimate...
02:13:21.000 What they are, for sure, a lot of them are hoaxes.
02:13:26.000 A huge percentage.
02:13:27.000 Yeah, I thought the kids did that.
02:13:28.000 And when I say hoaxes, that doesn't mean the rest of them were made by aliens.
02:13:31.000 But I think...
02:13:32.000 There's some crazy technology involved in it, and I don't know if we have a full assessment and accounting of all the technology that the government or that anyone at the highest level of science really possesses right now.
02:13:44.000 I don't necessarily know, especially when it comes to military intelligence.
02:13:46.000 And I think we've always had a lot of secrets in this country, and it's very likely that there's things that can produce crop circles, like they can shoot down a fucking laser beam on a certain patch of earth and create a pattern in the sand or in the wheat fields.
02:13:58.000 I don't think that's beyond the realm of possibility.
02:14:00.000 If you could have nuclear weapons, if you could have international instant communication via cell phone networks and data plans where you could send photographs and videos to another person on the other side of the fucking world almost instantaneously, I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility to think that you could somehow or another imprint something from a satellite, from something flying overhead.
02:14:19.000 Who knows?
02:14:19.000 I don't know.
02:14:20.000 I don't know why.
02:14:21.000 Because it's pretty.
02:14:22.000 You know what?
02:14:22.000 It might be simply someone figured out how to do it and they wanted to implement whether or not they could.
02:14:26.000 And then once they had it, they just keep fucking with people and making patterns.
02:14:29.000 If you could make up all kinds of crazy shit, why would my thing be like, hey, I want to push down the crops?
02:14:35.000 Well, that's a good question.
02:14:36.000 Why would I waste my talents on that?
02:14:38.000 If I was that smart, I would do something way cooler and make way more money.
02:14:42.000 You say that, but listen, some of them are hoaxes, and some of them are beautiful.
02:14:46.000 These hoaxes are amazing.
02:14:47.000 I mean, when I say hoaxes, we know, I mean, they're human-created works of art, not a mystery whatsoever.
02:14:52.000 And these human-created works of art, they've done, like these guys called the Circle Makers, they've got a website called circlemakers.org.
02:14:58.000 Yeah, they just crushed down Yeah, well, they have boards, and they measure things, and they do these dope-ass designs.
02:15:03.000 But what they've done is question and shown that you can make these crop circles on your own.
02:15:11.000 But some of them are weird, man.
02:15:13.000 Some of them, they show up in an hour.
02:15:15.000 You have to believe these people's reports, which is sketchy at best, of course.
02:15:18.000 But you're dealing with these people that have no reason to lie, these farmers.
02:15:21.000 They fly over an area, and then they come back an hour later, and there's something that's three football fields long, and it's got...
02:15:31.000 Yeah, you said the first sentence was the most important thing.
02:15:36.000 Like, wait, you're selling tickets to see this at your farm?
02:15:38.000 Yeah, this guy is a farmer.
02:15:39.000 He gets no attention whatsoever.
02:15:41.000 Hey guys, look at this crop circle.
02:15:42.000 Oh my god, it's a farmer who has a crop circle.
02:15:45.000 100%.
02:15:45.000 Listen, some of them for sure, definitely no question at all.
02:15:48.000 But some of them are gigantic, and most certainly would have taken enough time that people would have noticed.
02:15:54.000 They've hired people to do them for advertisers, and it's very time-consuming.
02:15:58.000 It's extraordinarily time-consuming.
02:16:00.000 It's not something you can't bang off.
02:16:02.000 You can't bang off these giant things inside of an hour or whatever the fuck these people are saying.
02:16:08.000 So if they're telling the truth, then it could possibly be something else.
02:16:11.000 It doesn't necessarily have to be just always people flattening boards out.
02:16:15.000 And I know there's a lot of other science behind it, in quote science, because they've detected there's growth nodes and areas where the stems of the plant have actually exploded like it had been microwaved.
02:16:26.000 And then instead of just being bent over, these things have had some almost boiled with energy.
02:16:32.000 You're saying there are symptoms, like sometimes it does that?
02:16:35.000 Yeah, I wouldn't say symptoms, I would say evidence that points to the fact that this is all shit.
02:16:41.000 By the way, hold on, this is all shit that I've read on the internet, so I have no idea how much of this is 100% legit.
02:16:46.000 But the idea is that what people question about the crop circles, the so-called crop circle...
02:16:51.000 Experts and aficionados, one of the things they point to is the fact that there's an actual change in the chemical structure of the plant once it's been turned into this circle.
02:16:59.000 That something has happened to it and it's been heated up.
02:17:01.000 Like I said, it could be some sort of technology.
02:17:05.000 Look, say if you wanted to etch something with lasers onto a piece of metal.
02:17:11.000 You could program a design into a computer and that computer could etch something.
02:17:15.000 And if you had a laser big enough and powerful enough, it could be as big as my Doom poster.
02:17:19.000 You could make some design with a laser in that, just using a computer.
02:17:25.000 Why couldn't you do that from a satellite down on some fucking wheat field?
02:17:28.000 Of course you could.
02:17:29.000 It would be just as possible, I think.
02:17:31.000 If you've got the potential to do it at close range, and then we know there's a lot of shit that we do at long range, and we also know that lasers, you know, a powerful laser doesn't really lose its power over a long distance, right?
02:17:42.000 Isn't that the case?
02:17:43.000 Like, these laser things, one of the things that's dangerous about those laser pens, those really The green ones.
02:17:50.000 Yeah.
02:17:50.000 You can point them at fucking planes and they literally will hit the cockpit of planes.
02:17:54.000 Like four or five miles.
02:17:55.000 Oh, really?
02:17:55.000 Yeah.
02:17:56.000 It's incredible.
02:17:57.000 And I wonder if the case could be made that, you know, if you could do that with a laser.
02:18:01.000 Maybe you could do that with something that mimics a laser, but in some way or another is like an etcher, a manipulator.
02:18:07.000 Or Star Wars.
02:18:08.000 Yeah.
02:18:08.000 Who the fuck knows?
02:18:09.000 I mean, who...
02:18:10.000 At a certain point in time, you gotta look at things that we absolutely know people have done.
02:18:14.000 There's a goddamn space station up there, and they shoot rockets filled with people, and they go up and dock with this thing, and everybody's hanging out there and partying in the space.
02:18:21.000 We know that's real.
02:18:23.000 As bizarre as that is, shooting people in giant metal tubes propelled by fire up into the sky to dock with some floating metal fucking machine that's up there.
02:18:33.000 So you think the government has just, like, protected us from ourselves?
02:18:36.000 Like, we don't want you to know about this awesome crop circle machine?
02:18:39.000 No.
02:18:39.000 I think there's a lot of things that they do on the sneak tip, like drones, and, you know, there's bugs that look like, you know, they look like bugs, but they're spy cameras, and drones that are completely unmanned.
02:18:51.000 Like Minority Report...
02:18:52.000 Yeah, oh dude, they've got some legit shit that looks like little bugs and it flies around and it can fly to Iraq.
02:18:58.000 They've got some incredible technology.
02:19:00.000 And you would think that something like this, like something that you could make a crop circle with, you could also use to do all kinds of crazy shit with.
02:19:07.000 I mean, if there's sort of a technology that can manipulate patterns in wheat fields, maybe there's certain things that you could do where it just barbecues someone out of the fucking sky.
02:19:17.000 Maybe crop circles are level one.
02:19:18.000 Yeah, maybe.
02:19:20.000 Or it's just practicing where it hits, like the accuracy, like that's the market mix.
02:19:24.000 It's like from Gears of War, part one.
02:19:25.000 Could you imagine if they figure out a way to have a satellite that flies over a city, and any time you want something done, it just zooms in like Google Earth, has an instant close-up view of you, and you disappear.
02:19:37.000 Just boom!
02:19:38.000 Eventually we'll have the technology for that.
02:19:39.000 Sizzle, pop, big freighter, and that's it.
02:19:41.000 No person.
02:19:43.000 Probably close.
02:19:44.000 Pretty close.
02:19:45.000 Probably close.
02:19:46.000 And the accuracy of establishing something like that.
02:19:48.000 What better way to demonstrate the accuracy than make a fucking design in a wheat field?
02:19:52.000 Say, look, we can do this.
02:19:53.000 Really?
02:19:54.000 You're connecting those things?
02:19:55.000 Who knows?
02:19:56.000 That's a far-reaching connection, though.
02:19:59.000 So is everything that we do every day of the week.
02:20:00.000 So is the internet.
02:20:01.000 So is space travel.
02:20:03.000 Alright, so you're discounting this though.
02:20:05.000 Everybody and their fucking brother on the planet is a reporter now.
02:20:09.000 That's why the Arab Spring sprung up.
02:20:10.000 Guess why?
02:20:11.000 Everybody's twittering each other about how let's fuck this regime.
02:20:15.000 Everyone's connected now.
02:20:17.000 So now we would know.
02:20:19.000 If somebody had a technology to do something and had done it, somebody would know.
02:20:24.000 Unless that technology was created at Area 51. And if that was the case, they have a long-seated history of only allowing people in there that absolutely fucking know how to keep a secret.
02:20:33.000 Because there's a lot of shit that's gone down at Area 51 and very few credible reports of any of it.
02:20:38.000 Dr. Robert Lazar might be the only one, and he's been shown to probably be a liar.
02:20:43.000 The problem is people talk.
02:20:46.000 I'll just give you an example.
02:20:48.000 Area 51. Dude, there's thousands of people over decades, decades have worked at Area 51 developing secret technology.
02:20:54.000 Why do they all keep it secret?
02:20:55.000 Somebody would have wanted it.
02:20:56.000 Because they're patriots.
02:20:58.000 Because they believe in this country.
02:20:59.000 Because they work for the military.
02:21:00.000 Because that's a part of their job.
02:21:01.000 They're a part of a big thing.
02:21:03.000 When you're a part of developing military weapons, secret military weapons, there's a certain amount of pride a lot of those guys take in the fact that they are developing the very best weapons and they're developing them in secret in these fucking bunkers that are built into the side of mountains.
02:21:16.000 Yeah, but eventually you've got to show the weapon, though.
02:21:19.000 Yes, and they have.
02:21:20.000 That's where the fucking stealth bomber came from.
02:21:21.000 It's all directly from Area 51. There's a lot of nutty shit that they worked on for years.
02:21:25.000 But this whole Area 51, they didn't even admit it existed until, I believe it was the 90s, when they wanted to spread the amount of land that they controlled and was top secret.
02:21:35.000 Because too many people were getting close and they were taking videos.
02:21:38.000 Taking videos of what looks like UFOs.
02:21:40.000 What looks like, most likely, unmanned drones.
02:21:43.000 Flying through the night air and dancing and doing shit that we could never do in a fucking airplane.
02:21:47.000 Once you left it together.
02:21:48.000 Fuck yeah.
02:21:48.000 Just look at JFK. A lot of video of that shit.
02:21:51.000 A lot of video.
02:21:51.000 I know, but once they start using it though, it makes the news.
02:21:54.000 But dude, they had to say that it existed in order to get this extra land.
02:21:58.000 Before that, they denied its existence.
02:22:00.000 There was no satellite Google Earth back then.
02:22:03.000 So you couldn't say, show me what's going on in the Nevada desert.
02:22:07.000 And then boom, you tune into, it's like a couple hours outside of Vegas, there's this crazy fucking place called Groom Lake.
02:22:13.000 And this is like a dried up lake bed, and the government is fucking testing UFOs out there.
02:22:18.000 Whatever UFO is.
02:22:20.000 Stealth bomber, to me, I've seen them in real life.
02:22:23.000 At Edwards Air Force Base, we were filming Fear Factor out there.
02:22:26.000 That's a fucking UFO, man.
02:22:27.000 This black wing thing flying over your head.
02:22:30.000 That's like right out of Star Wars.
02:22:32.000 Is it loud at all?
02:22:34.000 It was like any regular jet.
02:22:36.000 It wasn't unusually loud.
02:22:37.000 It was far enough away.
02:22:39.000 It wasn't right over my head where it was coming in low.
02:22:42.000 We were in Palmdale.
02:22:43.000 Edwards Air Force Base is a little bit outside of it.
02:22:46.000 But you did get to see them regularly.
02:22:47.000 What makes a UFO awesome is that it flies super fast from the middle of nowhere.
02:22:51.000 It just stops.
02:22:52.000 What makes you go, that's a UFO. It's not flying and it sounds like a jet.
02:22:58.000 It's like the hummingbird shit.
02:22:59.000 Yeah, it just zips everywhere.
02:23:01.000 And, you know, I always see the lights in the sky stuff.
02:23:03.000 And what?
02:23:04.000 We can't figure it out.
02:23:05.000 But, like, I feel like we can't figure it out right now.
02:23:08.000 If somebody doesn't want us to know, they're really not going to let us know.
02:23:11.000 I don't know what's a...
02:23:12.000 I know you're really pumped on fucking Area 51. But I'm like...
02:23:16.000 Well, if we can't know, if they're going to tell us, fuck you, what can we really say?
02:23:21.000 They're in charge.
02:23:22.000 It's a sexy idea.
02:23:23.000 It's something that's fun to just keep around.
02:23:25.000 The idea of UFOs and aliens.
02:23:28.000 Dude, according to Dr. Robert Lazar, they tried to back-engineer the fucking craft, and they couldn't, man.
02:23:35.000 We don't have that element on Earth.
02:23:37.000 It establishes beyond a reasonable doubt it's from another planet.
02:23:40.000 And their dicks get hard with geek knowledge.
02:23:42.000 They just want it to be an alien.
02:23:44.000 They want it to be alien.
02:23:46.000 Yeah, I don't get it though.
02:23:47.000 I'm just like, alright, cool.
02:23:48.000 If it's an alien, I can't wait.
02:23:49.000 Because I want to play with them.
02:23:51.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:23:51.000 I want to see these guys.
02:23:53.000 It's just as fascinating to me when something's man-made.
02:23:56.000 That's just as fascinating.
02:23:57.000 Yeah, me too.
02:23:58.000 I think that's more awesome.
02:24:00.000 Because to me, the fact that...
02:24:02.000 Scientists stood on top of scientists' shoulders for generations.
02:24:05.000 It's shit I can't even understand.
02:24:07.000 They just stood on top of each other's shoulders for generations, read all this geeky stuff that I don't have the chance to read or didn't let myself read, and then built this or cured a disease.
02:24:20.000 That's crazy.
02:24:21.000 That's a beautiful thing to me.
02:24:22.000 That's the most important thing in society.
02:24:26.000 We should be really rewarding that because that's what's going to push us forward.
02:24:30.000 That's what...
02:24:31.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:24:32.000 Exactly.
02:24:33.000 Exactly, Red Band.
02:24:35.000 I gotta do my Y crew.
02:24:36.000 That's how much I love technology.
02:24:38.000 Yes.
02:24:39.000 Technology's awesome.
02:24:40.000 I agree.
02:24:41.000 Right?
02:24:42.000 Well, that was hard to sell you on.
02:24:44.000 Yeah.
02:24:46.000 Sorry, Joe Rogan.
02:24:47.000 I had to talk you up.
02:24:49.000 What kind of crazy shit are you incorporating into training now?
02:24:52.000 Because I know you're always at the front of the line when it comes to weird technology.
02:24:56.000 After every UFC, we come back with a couple new drills for next week.
02:25:01.000 Like, what's good?
02:25:01.000 What's high in the streets?
02:25:03.000 Front kicks to the face.
02:25:05.000 Yeah, right?
02:25:05.000 Or certain positions.
02:25:06.000 Someone does something, you go, wait a minute, that's there all the time.
02:25:09.000 And then you develop drills based around that.
02:25:11.000 Our whole ground and pound stuff started like that.
02:25:14.000 Science!
02:25:14.000 Do you know the baby arm?
02:25:17.000 I got one in my pants.
02:25:19.000 What?
02:25:19.000 What are you talking about?
02:25:20.000 A baby arm.
02:25:21.000 That's the weirdest man for a move ever.
02:25:25.000 Tim Bosch fought this past weekend.
02:25:28.000 He fought Nick Ring and he had him in this position.
02:25:32.000 There's a position when you're in side control when you're facing the guy's legs and you got his leg or his arm wrapped up in between your legs.
02:25:39.000 You know that mounted crucifix that everybody likes to do?
02:25:41.000 Yeah, but you sit We sit sideways.
02:25:42.000 We sit sideways and you face towards his legs and you grab his arm.
02:25:46.000 His arm is in between your legs like a giant dick.
02:25:48.000 You call it the baby arm.
02:25:50.000 You just grab his wrist and you can break his arm.
02:25:51.000 It's right there.
02:25:52.000 It's right there on everybody.
02:25:53.000 And nobody does it.
02:25:54.000 They just hold on to the arm.
02:25:55.000 But if you just grab that wrist, you can completely control it and you can just snap his elbow.
02:25:59.000 There's a tremendous amount of force in it.
02:26:01.000 Yeah.
02:26:01.000 Crazy leverage.
02:26:03.000 I'll show it to you.
02:26:04.000 I wanted to show Bosch after his fight.
02:26:06.000 It's a John Jack Machado move.
02:26:08.000 He invented it.
02:26:08.000 Old school.
02:26:09.000 Yeah, it's old school.
02:26:10.000 I love that.
02:26:10.000 He didn't call it the baby arm.
02:26:12.000 He didn't call it the baby arm.
02:26:13.000 That's Eddie Bravo named the baby arm.
02:26:14.000 Of course he did.
02:26:15.000 John Jack's like, here from here to here.
02:26:17.000 I have his wrist.
02:26:18.000 This is an on bar right here.
02:26:20.000 You see that?
02:26:21.000 Right there.
02:26:21.000 Easy.
02:26:23.000 This is a hard mark.
02:26:24.000 The Brazilians have the coolest accents of all time.
02:26:26.000 I feel like the new up-and-coming kids, I feel like, are not getting the real experience of having a Brazilian coach with a funny accent.
02:26:34.000 Who barely speaks English.
02:26:36.000 Yeah, it's the best.
02:26:37.000 Look, look, look, look for me.
02:26:38.000 Look for me here.
02:26:40.000 This position, right here.
02:26:41.000 No good.
02:26:42.000 No good.
02:26:42.000 His arm, his arm no good.
02:26:44.000 Push me away.
02:26:46.000 Okay.
02:26:47.000 No that.
02:26:47.000 No that.
02:26:48.000 Okay?
02:26:49.000 See?
02:26:49.000 Because I had my guy too.
02:26:51.000 I had my old school Jacare, my freaking coach from back in the day.
02:26:55.000 He gave me a gi and I was like, damn.
02:26:57.000 It was so old and crusty.
02:26:59.000 I was like, damn, coach, man.
02:27:01.000 This gi is real nasty.
02:27:03.000 He's like, Jason, listen.
02:27:05.000 When you get a horse for a present, you don't watch his teeth.
02:27:09.000 And I was like, what?
02:27:11.000 What the hell does that mean?
02:27:12.000 I don't even understand.
02:27:14.000 Oh, you get a gift horse.
02:27:16.000 You don't look at it in the mouth.
02:27:17.000 Oh, I get it.
02:27:18.000 You don't watch his teeth.
02:27:19.000 I was like, what do you mean I don't watch his teeth?
02:27:21.000 I took classes at Carlson Gracie's, and Carlson didn't even speak English at all.
02:27:25.000 Oh, really?
02:27:26.000 He didn't even try.
02:27:27.000 He would talk in Portuguese, and then Sergio Cohen, a dude who barely spoke English, would then give you your instruction.
02:27:33.000 Awesome.
02:27:34.000 That's even better.
02:27:35.000 Or he would talk to John Iwano, and John Iwano speaks perfect English.
02:27:38.000 Yeah.
02:27:40.000 You know what?
02:27:41.000 I want to just get a dude to translate all my coaching.
02:27:44.000 I'll just be talking gibberish.
02:27:47.000 Just yelling and screaming.
02:27:48.000 Then Ryan will be like, he wants you to go front headlocks right now.
02:27:52.000 Do you get frustrated when you hear certain dudes coaching?
02:27:55.000 Do you get frustrated?
02:27:56.000 Yeah.
02:27:56.000 Is it like comedians?
02:27:58.000 Like judge other comedians?
02:27:59.000 Like, oh God, you went there?
02:28:00.000 Yeah.
02:28:01.000 I'd like to say that didn't happen, but probably.
02:28:04.000 Ha!
02:28:04.000 Listen, bro.
02:28:05.000 Do it for your family.
02:28:06.000 Yeah, we hate on people all the time, Ryan.
02:28:09.000 Tell the truth.
02:28:11.000 If a guy has stupid coaching, we do make fun of him, don't we?
02:28:15.000 Yeah, but that being said, I've said some dumb stuff, too.
02:28:17.000 You know who my favorite guys are to listen to?
02:28:19.000 My favorite guys to listen to are Rampage's coaches, the English dudes.
02:28:22.000 Yeah!
02:28:23.000 Get fired up!
02:28:24.000 They fucking yell and scream, and they do it in their accent.
02:28:26.000 Are those Biswings coaches?
02:28:27.000 I hope.
02:28:28.000 Are they?
02:28:28.000 Are they the same guys?
02:28:29.000 Are they the Wolfslayer guys?
02:28:31.000 I think so, yeah.
02:28:33.000 You've got to close the range!
02:28:37.000 They have such an awesome accent.
02:28:38.000 The English accent is one of my favorite all-time accents.
02:28:40.000 It is pretty funny.
02:28:41.000 That's why we use it for infomercials.
02:28:42.000 Whenever you're trying to sell something important, they use the English accent because the English accent is like fucking legit, man.
02:28:48.000 This is some serious fly-fishing line, I'm telling you.
02:28:50.000 The finest fly-fishing line available.
02:28:52.000 This is the best gold investment that I'll ever make.
02:28:55.000 The highest quality brass hooks.
02:28:57.000 In their defense, though, maybe that was a cue for something.
02:28:58.000 Maybe that they rehearsed something in the gym.
02:29:00.000 Close the distance means...
02:29:02.000 Yeah, do this.
02:29:04.000 Going to a phrase.
02:29:06.000 Baby arm.
02:29:07.000 Baby arm.
02:29:09.000 And we do that sometimes.
02:29:10.000 Yeah, of course.
02:29:10.000 Who's to say?
02:29:11.000 Maybe it was spot on.
02:29:13.000 Well, Rampage is so fucking talented physically, but everyone knows what he's going to do.
02:29:19.000 I mean, if he gets you, you're fucked.
02:29:21.000 If he gets a hold of you, he puts those hands on you.
02:29:23.000 He can put out anybody.
02:29:24.000 Rampage can put out anybody.
02:29:26.000 If you fuck up and you let him get into his game and get a hold of you, you're done.
02:29:30.000 But Jon Jones, man, he figured out how to definitely not let Rampage fight his game.
02:29:35.000 I mean, that's what it was.
02:29:36.000 It was Rampage fighting Jon Jones' game.
02:29:37.000 He had a perfect fucking game plan for his body and Rampage's style.
02:29:41.000 It was amazing to watch, wasn't it?
02:29:43.000 A lot of mercy.
02:29:43.000 Beautiful fight.
02:29:44.000 Definitely, yeah.
02:29:45.000 Does that inspire the fuck out of you when you see shit like that?
02:29:47.000 Yeah, of course.
02:29:48.000 And I felt like Jon Jones did a great job of his game plan and sticking to it.
02:29:53.000 And then he took Rampage out of his game plan and didn't let Rampage do what he was good at.
02:29:59.000 It's great.
02:30:00.000 It was cool to watch that, man.
02:30:01.000 It was amazing.
02:30:02.000 Amazing that he's been able to do that so quick.
02:30:05.000 It's fun to watch his evolution.
02:30:06.000 It's weird, right?
02:30:08.000 Who the fuck has ever gotten that good that quick?
02:30:10.000 You know?
02:30:11.000 Ah, yeah.
02:30:12.000 I mean, that makes sense.
02:30:13.000 I mean, Stefan Bonner was, what, was that two years ago or something like that?
02:30:16.000 Was it even?
02:30:17.000 Was it even two years ago?
02:30:18.000 I don't know.
02:30:18.000 I'm just guessing.
02:30:19.000 I'm not going to go to Search Shardog and check it out.
02:30:22.000 I think he started fighting in 2008. Yeah, and when did he get to the UFC? In 2009. It was like nine months later.
02:30:29.000 He had like six fights, but they were fought really close to one another.
02:30:33.000 It's amazing.
02:30:33.000 It's amazing when you watch, every now and then there's just some dude who come along in any sport where you just go, whoa, what the fuck?
02:30:38.000 You know?
02:30:39.000 Someone all of a sudden just jumps way ahead of the line.
02:30:41.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:30:42.000 You know?
02:30:43.000 It's like a genetic mutation.
02:30:45.000 Yeah, when he beat up Shogun dude, that was literally like, if you were from another planet, okay, and you came in and you were watching these species, you would say, oh, this is interspecies combat.
02:31:00.000 This is one species going up against another species.
02:31:02.000 Oh, this Shogun species, this really can't fuck with this other thing.
02:31:07.000 Why is he doing that?
02:31:07.000 That's sort of like a grasshopper fucking with a praying mantis.
02:31:11.000 You know what I mean?
02:31:12.000 Right.
02:31:12.000 I mean, we're like two different things.
02:31:14.000 You know, I'm looking at Shogun, the way he throws his punches, the way he throws his kicks.
02:31:18.000 It's a guy who's got an arm that goes this long.
02:31:20.000 But when you've got an arm that goes way the fuck across the room and it's attached to a body that's spent a lifetime learning how to manipulate other people's bodies and control them and throw them around in wrestling, it's literally like two different species.
02:31:33.000 You know?
02:31:35.000 With his fucking giant 84-inch wingspan.
02:31:38.000 Yeah, it is like two different things.
02:31:40.000 You go like, well, there's this one thing.
02:31:41.000 I guess they could breed and they could have a child, but really they're different.
02:31:45.000 So you're proposing the Shogun and Jon Jones' bone?
02:31:48.000 No, I'm proposing that if we mixed up a female Shogun...
02:31:55.000 What do you think of this Chaz Bono picture where she's walking around with no shirt on?
02:31:58.000 This is what I say.
02:31:59.000 Oh, wait.
02:32:00.000 Where's that?
02:32:00.000 Have you seen that?
02:32:01.000 She walks around outside with no shirt on.
02:32:03.000 It's hot out.
02:32:04.000 So she's got these giant scars where she used to have breasts.
02:32:07.000 So she had her breast meat removed.
02:32:08.000 And now she's just flat-chested but with a woman's nipple.
02:32:11.000 But she's like belly.
02:32:14.000 What do you think about Nancy Grace's nipple?
02:32:17.000 That's all I was thinking about the entire time we were talking about this.
02:32:20.000 I love how Nancy Grace's boobs stole the tranny's thunder.
02:32:25.000 Like, what the hell?
02:32:28.000 I don't even know what the big deal is.
02:32:31.000 I don't think of it as a tranny.
02:32:32.000 When it's a girl, the term becomes a guy.
02:32:35.000 So is she going to grow up?
02:32:36.000 I mean, is she...
02:32:37.000 Look at that.
02:32:38.000 You see the picture?
02:32:38.000 She's walking around with no shirt on.
02:32:41.000 That's not even worth looking at.
02:32:42.000 It's so weird.
02:32:43.000 She's a guy.
02:32:44.000 She's got a beard now.
02:32:44.000 It's a dude.
02:32:45.000 Yeah, it's a dude.
02:32:47.000 I don't know, man.
02:32:48.000 I think transgender people get a bad rap.
02:32:50.000 I do, too.
02:32:50.000 I think, you know, do whatever you want to do, man.
02:32:52.000 As long as that makes you happy, if that really does.
02:32:54.000 However, I think it's strange, the nipple thing.
02:32:58.000 That's a legit news source.
02:32:59.000 You would never be able to show a photo of a woman's nipple before.
02:33:03.000 But because she has committed to the life of a man, now you can see her nipple.
02:33:07.000 That is what I found fascinating.
02:33:09.000 I don't know.
02:33:09.000 I think in America, in general, people just need to get over sex anyway.
02:33:14.000 I feel like you make it this scary, dirty thing.
02:33:18.000 Show some titties on TV. Who cares?
02:33:20.000 It's not going to send society crashing down and burning.
02:33:25.000 I think people are worried about people going nutty.
02:33:27.000 They're worried about people not doing their share, not doing work, not helping build up society.
02:33:33.000 And they think that one of the ways to make sure and ensure that society keeps moving at a good pace is to control the sex.
02:33:39.000 What?
02:33:39.000 Why?
02:33:40.000 Control the freak, animal, instinct, and people.
02:33:42.000 Control the violence and control the sex.
02:33:43.000 Because those are the things that you're most terrified about.
02:33:46.000 When the barbarians storm the gates, you're not worried that they're going to fucking take your basketball.
02:33:52.000 No, they're worried that you're going to fuck your women and take your money.
02:33:54.000 What?
02:33:55.000 I don't get it.
02:33:57.000 Control.
02:33:58.000 They're trying to control sex and control violence.
02:34:00.000 Those are two things that people try to control when they want to keep society in order.
02:34:04.000 They try to control sex and control violence.
02:34:06.000 Really?
02:34:07.000 I never thought about it that way.
02:34:08.000 Well, it's normal for people to want, like, oh, look at these sluts and these whores.
02:34:13.000 I'm going to want this strip club near me.
02:34:14.000 You have a whorehouse in your town?
02:34:16.000 What?
02:34:17.000 There's a natural inclination.
02:34:19.000 Why do you care if you're not fucking these whores?
02:34:21.000 Why do you care?
02:34:21.000 Well, because you don't want people near you that are fucking these whores.
02:34:24.000 You don't want people in your neighborhood that want to fuck these whores.
02:34:27.000 Oh, yeah, but it's happening, right?
02:34:29.000 Yeah, but it's a natural inclination for people to try to shy away from the most frightening of our instincts.
02:34:35.000 Our desire to want to fuck and our desire to want to kill.
02:34:38.000 Right?
02:34:39.000 I guess so.
02:34:40.000 I guess you're right.
02:34:40.000 I never really considered it.
02:34:42.000 Society for a young man like you is like, you know, might as well be Vegas all day.
02:34:46.000 You know?
02:34:46.000 But for society to work?
02:34:49.000 In order for people to show up at the Wonder Bread factory?
02:34:53.000 You know?
02:34:53.000 In order for society to move?
02:34:55.000 You can't be giving out hand jobs at Starbucks.
02:34:58.000 I get what you're saying.
02:34:59.000 Okay.
02:35:00.000 Yeah.
02:35:00.000 Yeah, when you look at countries that are more liberal, I wonder what their output is, their gross domestic output, or how well it works.
02:35:09.000 But in Japan, that's just like, yeah, you go to Starbucks, get handy, almost.
02:35:12.000 Really?
02:35:13.000 Yeah, it's like the society has accepted, like, in the sports pages, there's like...
02:35:20.000 Naked chicks.
02:35:21.000 It's like...
02:35:21.000 Whatever.
02:35:22.000 Really?
02:35:22.000 Yeah.
02:35:23.000 So you can go and just get service somewhere in Japan?
02:35:25.000 Yeah, if you're Japanese, yeah.
02:35:27.000 I think you could just...
02:35:28.000 Easy?
02:35:28.000 Yeah, pretty easy, right?
02:35:28.000 There's the Soakland places.
02:35:30.000 Yeah, you can go get jacked on.
02:35:31.000 And it's like normal.
02:35:32.000 The guys talk about it.
02:35:32.000 You can do this in L.A. too.
02:35:34.000 Any massage parlor.
02:35:35.000 Yeah, but here it's so demonized.
02:35:37.000 They're like, ah, yeah, sometimes dudes do that.
02:35:40.000 In Sydney, brothels are legal.
02:35:42.000 Are they as productive?
02:35:43.000 You say the Japanese are more productive than Americans?
02:35:46.000 Hell yeah, man.
02:35:47.000 And yet they can still get jerked off places.
02:35:49.000 So that throws my theory to the toilet.
02:35:50.000 Yeah, it totally crushes your theory.
02:35:52.000 That's why I was thinking, what are you talking about?
02:35:54.000 In order to be creative?
02:35:56.000 Nah, man.
02:35:57.000 I think it's just societal.
02:35:59.000 It's societal pressures.
02:36:00.000 Completely?
02:36:00.000 Yeah.
02:36:02.000 It might be, but why does Japan really love America?
02:36:08.000 Why do so many Japanese...
02:36:10.000 Well, a lot of Americans really love Japan as well.
02:36:12.000 I don't think they do, bro.
02:36:13.000 But they do imitate a lot of their music.
02:36:15.000 Yeah, it's not, dude.
02:36:15.000 There's a lot of people that really get into American music over there.
02:36:18.000 That's because their music sucks so bad.
02:36:20.000 Is that what it is?
02:36:21.000 Yeah, I mean, if you look at any country, most countries' music, it's not as good as the United States.
02:36:25.000 I disagree, dude.
02:36:26.000 Yeah, Japan has its own...
02:36:27.000 I disagree.
02:36:28.000 Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about.
02:36:30.000 I just talked to somebody the other day that went to Japan probably like 10 times, and they were telling me this.
02:36:36.000 That's why I brought it up.
02:36:37.000 Every time they go there, it's always American music or their version of it.
02:36:42.000 No, dude.
02:36:43.000 I'm saying, okay, so your country is pretty badass and makes good music and whatever, but then another country whose budget is way fucking bigger and they got crazier acts and whatever and crazier video effects, of course you're going to watch some of that.
02:36:57.000 You're not going to totally be, fuck America.
02:37:00.000 What I was actually trying to get at, the reason why I was saying it, is because I was wondering what effect their discipline and the fact that they can get laid and just get serviced.
02:37:10.000 I wonder what that has effect on their creativity, like the art they produce, the music that they make.
02:37:15.000 And I was like, well, why do they like American music so much?
02:37:18.000 What is their music like?
02:37:19.000 Do they have really good music in Japan?
02:37:21.000 Is Japan a dope-ass...
02:37:22.000 Is that J-pop style?
02:37:24.000 No, it's J-pop.
02:37:26.000 Yeah, there's different styles of music.
02:37:28.000 Like pop music.
02:37:29.000 But name one Japanese artist right now.
02:37:32.000 Bro, I'm not Japanese, dude.
02:37:34.000 I know, I know, but you asked them, name one American artist, they know 50. That's what I'm saying.
02:37:38.000 Because we're the dominant culture in the world.
02:37:41.000 Yeah, they're a small island.
02:37:42.000 Yeah, they're a small island.
02:37:43.000 Yeah, but you shouldn't even be able to know one.
02:37:45.000 Oh, my God.
02:37:46.000 Because you don't listen to Japanese music.
02:37:48.000 You don't understand the Japanese language.
02:37:49.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:37:50.000 So far different.
02:37:51.000 I know one singer.
02:37:52.000 Sexyama.
02:37:53.000 Sexyama was the singer.
02:37:54.000 He's the best.
02:37:55.000 Well, yeah.
02:37:55.000 I mean, I don't know, though.
02:37:57.000 It's also a different language.
02:37:58.000 I mean, we're not really interested.
02:37:59.000 And everybody in Japan speaks English a little bit.
02:38:02.000 Really?
02:38:02.000 Everybody speaks a little bit of English.
02:38:03.000 Everyone in Japan?
02:38:04.000 Just about.
02:38:05.000 Wow.
02:38:05.000 A lot of people won't do it because they feel embarrassed about it, but everyone learns it in school to an extent.
02:38:10.000 Well, maybe Japan, because it's not trying to take over the world anymore, maybe they've spent more time sort of evolving as a culture and just progressing business-wise and discipline-wise.
02:38:22.000 No, but I think for years and years it's been just like that and people are very disciplined.
02:38:27.000 It's been like that.
02:38:28.000 There's been a culture.
02:38:29.000 It's in their culture.
02:38:31.000 I probably respect that whole geisha thing.
02:38:32.000 Yeah, geisha before that even.
02:38:33.000 And people had a normal, that was their thing.
02:38:36.000 Oh, I got a concubine.
02:38:37.000 What's up?
02:38:37.000 That whole society is based on...
02:38:41.000 Conforming.
02:38:41.000 Everyone dresses in the same black suits.
02:38:43.000 They do the same things.
02:38:44.000 They follow the same path.
02:38:45.000 Stepping outside is really frowned upon.
02:38:48.000 Yeah, really frowned upon.
02:38:48.000 You've got to be part of the team.
02:38:50.000 Like, the team is smart.
02:38:52.000 Here's the rules.
02:38:52.000 Do the rules.
02:38:53.000 Isn't that fascinating?
02:38:54.000 Yeah, it's fascinating.
02:38:55.000 I think it's great.
02:38:56.000 I think people could adapt some of those cultural things from Japan and bring it here to America.
02:39:01.000 Is that possible?
02:39:02.000 No, it's very difficult.
02:39:03.000 It's embedded over generations and generations.
02:39:05.000 Yeah.
02:39:05.000 Now, how do you think they wound up doing that?
02:39:07.000 That's what I've always been fascinated by.
02:39:08.000 What do you mean?
02:39:08.000 It was such a small amount of area and so many people living in it.
02:39:11.000 So they had to be more disciplined?
02:39:14.000 Eventually, you got that way.
02:39:15.000 You became that way.
02:39:17.000 You know, you do the right, even at McDonald's, man, like they do the right job because that's the right thing to do.
02:39:23.000 Don't get me wrong.
02:39:24.000 There's stupid people there that they can't help it.
02:39:26.000 They're dumb, but they try to do their job as best as they can, you know, and I feel like we could bring that to America.
02:39:31.000 Just do your job like as best you can, whatever your job is.
02:39:36.000 Do it.
02:39:36.000 Awesome.
02:39:36.000 Like just try your hardest, you know?
02:39:39.000 And I mean, really, that's what you're trying to do.
02:39:41.000 That's what you should be trying to do.
02:39:43.000 But I think in America, people are like, everyone owes me something.
02:39:47.000 You know what I mean?
02:39:48.000 Like, I should get paid more.
02:39:50.000 No, you shouldn't.
02:39:51.000 You should just work.
02:39:52.000 You should just do what you have to do and do it awesome because it's your job.
02:39:57.000 Jason Mayhem Miller, corporate employer.
02:39:59.000 I'm just saying.
02:39:59.000 This is the pep speech of the week, boys.
02:40:01.000 That's right.
02:40:02.000 We took away your life insurance, but I've got words of wisdom.
02:40:05.000 Right?
02:40:06.000 You should just fucking work.
02:40:08.000 Hard!
02:40:09.000 If you've got to do it, do it hard.
02:40:11.000 Do it as best you can.
02:40:13.000 I think you've got to go way further back.
02:40:14.000 Look at Gun, Germs, and Steel.
02:40:17.000 We talk about this book all the time.
02:40:18.000 It's the best book ever.
02:40:20.000 What geographic resources did you have and how did that affect how your culture develops?
02:40:25.000 The Maori people are the best.
02:40:26.000 In New Zealand, they fought all the time because they had lots of resources.
02:40:29.000 You could afford to have a priest, a teacher, whatever.
02:40:33.000 As soon as a group of those Maori people moved to an island 400 miles south, everyone had to spend all day gathering food.
02:40:39.000 They had to work together and you couldn't fight.
02:40:42.000 So they turned almost like this into a peaceful culture.
02:40:45.000 Sure enough, several hundred years later, the Maori come, they find them, what do they do?
02:40:49.000 Kill all of them.
02:40:50.000 They're like the same people.
02:40:51.000 They're basically cousins, but they just hacked them up.
02:40:53.000 But where the island they went to had very few resources.
02:40:56.000 They had to spend all day gathering food to eat.
02:40:58.000 If I have a bunch of food in my house and I can listen to him be a priest and I can go to a doctor, we can have warriors, we can have teachers, all these specializations.
02:41:07.000 Change of society based on natural resources.
02:41:10.000 Or are there large grains that you could make?
02:41:12.000 Did you have domesticated animals?
02:41:15.000 Look at all that stuff started in a few regions.
02:41:17.000 Go try to domesticate a giraffe.
02:41:20.000 Good luck with that.
02:41:21.000 Do it with a goat.
02:41:22.000 I got a lasso that big.
02:41:24.000 Then all of a sudden, with those animals, you can live near them so your diseases, your immune system grows stronger.
02:41:29.000 You can make food.
02:41:30.000 You have surplus food.
02:41:30.000 Wait, you never read this book?
02:41:31.000 I haven't read it yet.
02:41:32.000 Well, it's the best book ever, dude.
02:41:33.000 I keep hearing.
02:41:34.000 I haven't read it yet.
02:41:35.000 It's been recommended to me like 20 times.
02:41:37.000 Blow your mind, bro.
02:41:38.000 All right, I'm going to get it on Amazon right now.
02:41:40.000 All right, good, good.
02:41:42.000 I don't remember the whole Japanese part of it, but it'd be interesting.
02:41:46.000 I watched Ancient Aliens the other night where they were trying to say that Japanese samurai swords, they were taught to them by aliens.
02:41:52.000 Awesome.
02:41:53.000 No one could have figured out a way to make this steel like this.
02:41:57.000 They were talking about Japanese.
02:41:59.000 Develop the ability to fucking fold steel over and over.
02:42:03.000 That's all I want is a samurai suit given to me by a freaking alien, dude.
02:42:07.000 I'd be stoked if it was glow in the dark.
02:42:09.000 I like what 4chan's been doing with him.
02:42:12.000 They've been having huge photo threads of the guy from Ancient Aliens and his hair and stuff, and they're just making him all these different characters.
02:42:21.000 It's so fucking funny.
02:42:22.000 I love memes.
02:42:24.000 4chan.
02:42:24.000 I want to get on 4chan.
02:42:25.000 I always hear about it.
02:42:26.000 I never go on it.
02:42:27.000 It's fun.
02:42:28.000 Just don't tell anybody.
02:42:28.000 Do it from Starbucks.
02:42:29.000 Buy now with one click, son.
02:42:32.000 Bam.
02:42:33.000 I bought it.
02:42:33.000 Gun, Germs, and Steel.
02:42:34.000 I'll try to read it the next time you're on the podcast again.
02:42:37.000 I'll bring that shit up.
02:42:38.000 Are you buying it for your hardback?
02:42:41.000 It's going to be work.
02:42:42.000 You know what?
02:42:42.000 Actually, the first half of that book is pretty like bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
02:42:46.000 Then it gets to be like work.
02:42:47.000 The second half of it, you start to be like, oh, Oh, shit!
02:42:52.000 Like, I gotta read this back again.
02:42:53.000 Like, what?
02:42:54.000 You know, it gets a little complicated.
02:42:55.000 But man, overall, like, I'm so...
02:42:57.000 That's one of the books I'm so glad I read.
02:42:59.000 It paints a beautiful picture on why did Europeans come over to different places in the world, spread their...
02:43:04.000 You know, Columbus stuffed up the boat, sneezed, and a hundred million people died.
02:43:08.000 Yeah, right?
02:43:08.000 Why didn't Indians, Native Americans here getting canoes, come to Europe, infect us with their diseases, and shoot us with...
02:43:14.000 Well, there's a lot of people that believe that people came here far earlier than that.
02:43:17.000 You know what the Olmecs are in Mexico and in South America?
02:43:21.000 Have you ever heard of Olmecs?
02:43:22.000 I've heard of this theory.
02:43:22.000 They don't know who the fuck they are, man.
02:43:24.000 They don't know who they are.
02:43:25.000 They have African faces.
02:43:26.000 They have African faces and these things are thousands and thousands of years old.
02:43:29.000 old they believe at least six thousand years old what these fucking structures which puts them you know more what is that four thousand not even yeah almost four thousand BC so they don't know who the fuck these people were when they came from Africa they have African faces and this big carved stones gigantic massive ones of these faces they don't have a language attributed to these people they don't know that anything about the culture sorry just what a mystery so it's very likely that people were traveling from from South America How many years ago?
02:43:57.000 South America to Egypt, in fact, because they found cocaine in mummies, and they know that cocaine can only be grown in South America, in South American climate.
02:44:05.000 That's the whole Mormon faith's belief, though, right?
02:44:07.000 No.
02:44:07.000 The Mormon faith believes that the lost tribe of Israel came across the Bering Strait, and they became the American Indians.
02:44:13.000 Oh, okay.
02:44:14.000 I thought they went South America first.
02:44:17.000 Well, maybe.
02:44:18.000 I don't know.
02:44:18.000 Indians look Chinese.
02:44:19.000 That's how it's described to me by a Mormon is that somehow, somewhere in the Middle East, they came to South America first and populated the Americas from South America.
02:44:26.000 Nah, I don't think so.
02:44:27.000 I haven't heard that one.
02:44:27.000 I thought what I heard, maybe there's another group that believes that.
02:44:30.000 But what's really funny is one guy actually went and got genetic testing because he was a devout Mormon and he really truly believed in it.
02:44:36.000 So he went out and got the American Indians tested because he wanted to prove that they were Israeli.
02:44:39.000 yeah they were the lost tribes but they were from siberia they were from the bering strait they came from another country they were indian well you don't need a damn test look at a freaking eskimo look at eskimo and look at a chinese person yeah yeah you're like you're like uh there's got to be some damn connection yeah russians look so much like american indians you It's easy, yeah.
02:45:00.000 It's easy.
02:45:00.000 Well, those people, it's really amazing when you stop and think about it, when you look at how Eskimos have lived up until really recently.
02:45:09.000 They still sort of follow the same sort of lives that they would have had to have followed hundreds and hundreds of years ago to stay alive.
02:45:15.000 They still wear skins.
02:45:17.000 They hunt seals.
02:45:20.000 It's kind of amazing shit that they're still able to eke out a life in a world where you would be terrified to live.
02:45:27.000 Could you imagine if we had to go and we had to move to northern Alaska and live forever with the Eskimos?
02:45:35.000 Like, whoa.
02:45:38.000 That's a trippy life, dude.
02:45:39.000 Would you ever adapt at this point in your life?
02:45:40.000 I would try my best.
02:45:41.000 Good question.
02:45:42.000 Good question.
02:45:43.000 I would try my best.
02:45:43.000 I'd be like, fuck it, dude.
02:45:44.000 Let's get out there.
02:45:45.000 Let's do some ice fishing.
02:45:47.000 That would be my first thought.
02:45:48.000 Get some hooks, bro.
02:45:49.000 I want to get some furry boots, too.
02:45:51.000 Furry boots is where it's at this season.
02:45:53.000 The real issue would be that you'd have no choice and that you would probably have to be working so hard just to stay alive that that's where you must get all of your enjoyment from fucking hunting and gathering.
02:46:04.000 You don't have no time for no hobbies anymore, dude.
02:46:06.000 If you're living up there and you're just trying to bash seals over the head every day and eat them.
02:46:11.000 I would do that for sure.
02:46:12.000 Yeah, I think you would.
02:46:14.000 You would adapt, just like any movie, like that Tom Hanks movie where he fucking was shockwrecked.
02:46:18.000 Yeah, right?
02:46:18.000 That's crazy.
02:46:19.000 You would adapt.
02:46:20.000 But you wouldn't enjoy it.
02:46:21.000 What are you talking about?
02:46:22.000 This podcast life where you sit around, smoke joints, drink coconut juice.
02:46:28.000 Thank you to CTO, because they sent me some more coconut juice.
02:46:30.000 Yo, man, this is delicious.
02:46:30.000 This stuff is the bomb diggity.
02:46:32.000 It's delicious.
02:46:33.000 No, what?
02:46:35.000 I mean, come on, Joe Rollins.
02:46:36.000 It's super healthy for you, right, Brian Parsons?
02:46:37.000 Yeah, it is, right?
02:46:39.000 Isn't it?
02:46:39.000 You're the health master.
02:46:41.000 I don't know about that, but yeah, it's great.
02:46:43.000 Do you still sell that Lightforce stuff?
02:46:44.000 I do.
02:46:45.000 Lifeforce, right?
02:46:46.000 Not Lightforce.
02:46:47.000 L-I-G-H-T. L-I-G-H-T. And then L-I-F-E is the Randy Couture version?
02:46:51.000 I don't think that exists anymore, but I'm not sure.
02:46:53.000 I think he has a different...
02:46:54.000 Where do they get that Lightforce shit?
02:46:56.000 That stuff's good.
02:46:57.000 Lightforcegreens.com.
02:46:58.000 Everybody was drinking that shit for a while.
02:46:59.000 I'm drinking it.
02:47:00.000 I was drinking it with my protein shake.
02:47:02.000 It gives it like a little minty flair to it.
02:47:03.000 Yeah, that's what I do to it, too.
02:47:04.000 I also buy some...
02:47:05.000 There's a green superfood thing.
02:47:08.000 Powdered shit, I always put it in there.
02:47:09.000 But I don't know how much that really helps.
02:47:12.000 It doesn't ever seem to help as much as the Vitamix when you're really blending up raw kale.
02:47:16.000 Nothing will beat a fresh juice or a Vitamix juice.
02:47:19.000 But having that powder is damn convenient.
02:47:22.000 It's good to travel with.
02:47:22.000 There's an extra little boost.
02:47:24.000 Do you always make sure you guys eat red meat?
02:47:27.000 Or do you guys eat chicken and fish?
02:47:29.000 Do you stop them from eating red meat?
02:47:31.000 What's your thoughts on red meat?
02:47:33.000 Diet to me I've spent so much time on and it's a subject that's really interesting and it's super boring at the same time.
02:47:38.000 Because in 30 seconds you can learn 95% of everything you need to know.
02:47:43.000 Then you can argue about the rest.
02:47:45.000 So I think less red meat is probably better.
02:47:49.000 I got an idea.
02:47:50.000 I think you're supposed to eat things that are hard to catch.
02:47:53.000 I think that's why fish is really good for you, and that's why deer is really good for you, and elk is really good for you, because they're out there running and trying to get away.
02:48:00.000 But wild meat's so different than anything farmers.
02:48:02.000 Super good for you.
02:48:03.000 Fries are good for you.
02:48:04.000 Yeah, super good for you.
02:48:05.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:48:05.000 Essential fatty acid profiles are totally different.
02:48:07.000 Fat profile, everything's different.
02:48:09.000 I think it's better for you.
02:48:10.000 I only eat chickens that fight back.
02:48:13.000 That's it.
02:48:13.000 Those big fat plump ones with the juicy breasts.
02:48:16.000 Their breasts are so big they fall forward and fucking face plant everywhere they go.
02:48:21.000 You ever seen those?
02:48:22.000 Those are American chickens, Jack.
02:48:23.000 That's crazy, man.
02:48:24.000 They get there real quick.
02:48:26.000 Yeah.
02:48:26.000 You know they're trying to shake a chicken?
02:48:27.000 There's ideas of shaking a chicken and turning it into a dinosaur.
02:48:31.000 They believe that they can actually do some Jurassic Park shit.
02:48:35.000 What the hell are we waiting for?
02:48:37.000 I want to see this fucking chicken.
02:48:38.000 I'll get a pet again if that's the case.
02:48:40.000 This Chickensaurus Rex?
02:48:41.000 I want to see it.
02:48:42.000 Jurassic Park was a badass.
02:48:43.000 Wasn't it?
02:48:45.000 That movie made me like, man, I hope they do this soon.
02:48:48.000 Dude, when that fucking kid is in the car and the water starts moving in the car.
02:48:52.000 Come on.
02:48:52.000 Classic.
02:48:53.000 I used to do a little video.
02:48:54.000 What's that?
02:48:55.000 And you see that fucking thing.
02:48:57.000 It's a classic podcast.
02:48:58.000 Holy shit.
02:49:00.000 Now Joe Rogan is scared of animals that don't exist.
02:49:02.000 Like, man, I'm terrified.
02:49:04.000 I'm terrified of animals that may exist in the future.
02:49:07.000 How about that?
02:49:08.000 I hope that does.
02:49:09.000 You wouldn't go to Jurassic Park with me.
02:49:11.000 I'm thinking about new predators.
02:49:12.000 Would you go?
02:49:13.000 Joe Rogan.
02:49:14.000 Would I go to Jurassic Park?
02:49:14.000 If there's a real Jurassic Park, would you go?
02:49:16.000 Is there a T-Rex?
02:49:17.000 Yes!
02:49:18.000 No, I'm not going.
02:49:19.000 What?
02:49:20.000 Come on, bro!
02:49:21.000 What if one day it breaks loose?
02:49:22.000 You got to see a T-Rex.
02:49:23.000 A T-Rex, man.
02:49:25.000 I saw a T-Rex on the Jurassic Park movie.
02:49:27.000 The movie I saw a T-Rex.
02:49:28.000 I got a big screen TV, man.
02:49:31.000 This shit was legit.
02:49:32.000 High definition.
02:49:33.000 1080p.
02:49:34.000 We're going to wrap this bitch up because we're running out of tape.
02:49:36.000 Otherwise, we won't be able to process it on iTunes.
02:49:38.000 But this was a long and storied discussion.
02:49:41.000 It was.
02:49:41.000 You guys are awesome.
02:49:42.000 Thank you, Dr. Parsons, for coming by.
02:49:44.000 Thanks, Dr. Parsons.
02:49:45.000 Ryan Parsons' best neck cracker in the history of neck cracking.
02:49:48.000 He cracked the shit out of some necks.
02:49:50.000 He's an awesome chiropractor as well.
02:49:52.000 And, of course, the trainer of...
02:49:55.000 What do you guys call yourselves now?
02:49:56.000 What do you guys call yourselves?
02:49:57.000 We don't have a name.
02:49:58.000 Reality show duo?
02:49:59.000 No name?
02:50:00.000 We need to have a name, man.
02:50:01.000 We need to come up with a name.
02:50:02.000 A name for the Ryan Parsons team.
02:50:04.000 The Ryan Parsons posse.
02:50:06.000 Isn't there a song, a band, the Ryan Parsons Project?
02:50:09.000 I think so.
02:50:10.000 Alan Parsons.
02:50:11.000 Alan Parsons.
02:50:12.000 That's your cousin's son.
02:50:14.000 This weekend, I'm in Washington, D.C. at the Warner Center, 9.30 this Friday night.
02:50:20.000 And that's with Ari Shafir.
02:50:22.000 And then on October 7th, we're in Houston, Texas at the Verizon Wireless Center.
02:50:26.000 And that's with Brennan Walsh and Joey Diaz.
02:50:30.000 and that should be fun as fuck, you goddamn fucking freaks.
02:50:34.000 For what we talked about earlier, AlphaBrain, if you're interested, go to onnit.com, and if you enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10% off.
02:50:42.000 And thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast as well.
02:50:46.000 And then if you go to joerogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you get 15% off.
02:50:53.000 So I'm saving you money while I'm straightening out your brain and sharpening up your loads.
02:50:59.000 Whoever thought your last name would be a coupon code growing up?
02:51:02.000 Crazy, bro.
02:51:03.000 Shit is crazy.
02:51:04.000 Make sense to me.
02:51:05.000 Subscribe to The Death Squad on iTunes.
02:51:08.000 It's Brian's podcast network that he's got going on.
02:51:13.000 He's got John Reap and John Heffron are on it.
02:51:17.000 He's got Tom Segura on it.
02:51:18.000 Sam Tripoli.
02:51:19.000 A bunch of good comics.
02:51:20.000 It's all free, of course.
02:51:23.000 That's it, right?
02:51:24.000 We're probably going to be back tomorrow, but I don't know.
02:51:26.000 I have to find out what time to work till.
02:51:28.000 That's it for now.
02:51:29.000 Thank you, everybody.
02:51:30.000 Thank you, Ryan.
02:51:31.000 Thank you, Mayhem.
02:51:32.000 Thank you, all the people out in Cyberland.