The Joe Rogan Experience - February 25, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1431 - Owen Smith

Topics
yoga and breathing in difficult situations Grant Hill crossover Michael Jordan greatness Notebooks and comedy journeys Kimber Rickenball reader's block playing fight companion podcast freedom of speech Malcolm Gladwell being nice Lil Duvall stand-up comedy
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Owen Smith
Mentioned
Malcolm Gladwell Deontay Wilder Dave Chappelle Russell Simmons Michael Jordan Tony Hinchcliffe Jerry Seinfeld Chris Rock Def Jam LeBron Dick Gregory Owen Mitch Hedberg Joey Diaz Kimber Rickenball Damon Wayans Mike Tyson Owen Smith Kobe Tony Woods Bobby and 89 more
Joe Rogan Experience #1430 - Raghunath Cappo Joe Rogan Experience #1432 - Aubrey de Grey

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 33 minutes

Words per minute

190.15

Word count

29,214

Sentence count

3,881

Harmful content

Misogyny

50

sentences flagged

Toxicity

734

sentences flagged

Hate speech

38

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Joey Diaz joins Jemele to discuss his early days in comedy, his move to Bali, and why he thinks Russell Simmons should be extradited to the United States. Plus, how he got to where he is today, and how he ended up at Def Jam s first TV show, "All Jokes Aside." Plus, why he bought a yoga studio in Bali and did a month of free yoga next to Russell Simmons. And why he doesn t like yoga. And how he s not a fan of Russell Simmons, which is a good thing because he s a great yogi. Plus, he talks about the time he met Russell Simmons at a yoga class, and what it s like to be a black comedian in the late 90s and early 2000s in the early days of the so-called "Black Friday" era. And he gives us the inside scoop on what it's like to work for Def Jam's first black sitcom, "Rodman and Rodman" and how it went from being a flop to being the number one sitcom on Comedy Central's "The Office" to becoming the number 1 sitcom in America's longest-running sitcom of all-time. . And, of course, he also gives us his thoughts on Russell Simmons and why we should be worried about him being extradited from the U.S. to in Bali. If you like it, tweet us and let us know what you think about it! or don t! and we ll talk about it on the next episode of Jemelec on ! if you have a story you d like us to tell us about it in a future episode of . . . or do you dave us a shoutout! or a story about how you d have us a place you d really like it in the podcast! in a review! on the pod! to be sure we ll send us a song about it. or we ll do it on Insta: :) ;) Timestamps: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 13. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 It is?
00:00:00.000 Yeah.
00:00:01.000 3, 2, 1, boom.
00:00:03.000 And we're live.
00:00:04.000 We're talking about yoga and Russell Simmons.
00:00:06.000 Russell Simmons, he moved to Bali because he's worried about them extraditing him?
00:00:10.000 I don't know if he's worried, but I... This is all conjecture.
00:00:14.000 This is what I've heard.
00:00:15.000 But I just bought him up because he had a yoga studio here.
00:00:20.000 Did he?
00:00:21.000 Yeah.
00:00:21.000 And he gave me a month free.
00:00:25.000 A month-free, high-end yoga thing.
00:00:27.000 You just show up in your clothes.
00:00:29.000 They give you the mat, towels, blocks, everything.
00:00:33.000 Everybody was awesome.
00:00:35.000 And I went every day for a month and did yoga next to Russell Simmons.
00:00:39.000 Wow.
00:00:40.000 And he was amazing.
00:00:43.000 And I was really feeling it.
00:00:45.000 I felt great.
00:00:47.000 And then all the stuff happened.
00:00:49.000 Yeah.
00:00:51.000 It's so easy to slide.
00:00:53.000 Oh, man.
00:00:54.000 It's so easy to slide away.
00:00:55.000 Yeah, man.
00:00:56.000 I love that guy.
00:00:57.000 I have a funny story.
00:00:58.000 What do you think is more important than stand-up?
00:01:00.000 To be polished or to be raw?
00:01:06.000 There's no more important thing.
00:01:08.000 They're both very important.
00:01:10.000 But Joey Diaz is not polished at all.
00:01:13.000 And he's the funniest guy that I've ever seen.
00:01:15.000 No one's ever made me laugh harder.
00:01:17.000 He's not polished. 1.00
00:01:18.000 He's raw as fuck. 0.99
00:01:19.000 But raw alone is not good because some guys like Jessel Neck is very polished and he's very funny. 1.00
00:01:26.000 You're very polished.
00:01:27.000 You're very funny.
00:01:28.000 Yes.
00:01:29.000 There's no one thing.
00:01:31.000 It's like comedy is an art.
00:01:33.000 It's an art, right?
00:01:34.000 It's an expression of who you are.
00:01:35.000 If you're a polished person and you try to come off raw, it's going to look corny.
00:01:40.000 So I bought that up because I am, I don't know, young 20s.
00:01:46.000 Def Jam is having auditions.
00:01:48.000 It just moved from New York to L.A. and Beverly Hills was where they're taping, which was ironic in itself.
00:01:56.000 But I was raw.
00:01:58.000 You remember those, when you go hit it DJ and you have music cue like this?
00:02:03.000 So I auditioned and Bushwick Bill I was one of the judges.
00:02:10.000 I auditioned at All Jokes Aside in Chicago, and I got picked.
00:02:13.000 I was one of the people to get picked to tape Def Jam.
00:02:16.000 First time I was ever flown out anywhere.
00:02:19.000 First time I ever was flown to Los Angeles.
00:02:22.000 I had been here before.
00:02:23.000 Stayed at the Hotel Sofitel.
00:02:25.000 But what happened is I got picked.
00:02:27.000 I was raw.
00:02:29.000 About three months went by.
00:02:30.000 I went on a tour of North Dakota.
00:02:34.000 South Dakota, Minneapolis, where none of those Def Jam jokes worked.
00:02:40.000 So I started, like, getting polished a little bit, right?
00:02:45.000 So when I went to tape Def Jam, I did it, and I got...
00:02:53.000 I think seven applause breaks, but I didn't get the standing ovation.
00:02:57.000 And I remember when I got off stage, one comedian said, way to keep him seated.
00:03:01.000 And Russell walked right past me.
00:03:03.000 I just wanted him to see me.
00:03:05.000 So I knew I wasn't going to air, right?
00:03:07.000 Wait a minute, you got seven applause breaks and it wouldn't air?
00:03:11.000 Well, I got a note.
00:03:12.000 I got my first rejection letter saying, thank you so much, but you won't be airing.
00:03:18.000 They aired Rodman and they aired two other people. 0.94
00:03:21.000 And then, so I felt like shit, you know what I mean? 1.00
00:03:25.000 I was like, damn, am I black enough? 1.00
00:03:28.000 Like the whole black thing. 1.00
00:03:29.000 Like, damn, I'm not a part of Def Jam. 0.99
00:03:31.000 I want to be touring. 0.99
00:03:32.000 I can make those audiences laugh.
00:03:34.000 But...
00:03:34.000 What I auditioned with, it was straight from Maryland.
00:03:38.000 Straight, just raw.
00:03:41.000 All bravado.
00:03:42.000 I wasn't talking about anything.
00:03:44.000 I went to these other cities and I was finding my style.
00:03:48.000 How many years had you been doing it at the time?
00:03:51.000 I started at 19, but I... You know, that's the college start.
00:03:58.000 But I think I started doing it full-time at 22, and I was probably 26, so maybe four years.
00:04:04.000 Arrogant, though.
00:04:04.000 Like, you know, if I was your feature act, I always kept a time clock.
00:04:10.000 Sometimes I would go long, but I was very proud of, like, if they said do 12, I would do 12. You know what I mean?
00:04:18.000 That kind of thing.
00:04:20.000 And I was getting standard ovations, but I wasn't talking about nothing.
00:04:22.000 And then I started doing these other states, and I was like, okay, fine.
00:04:28.000 Don't get it.
00:04:29.000 So my objection, I really needed Russell Simmons to like me.
00:04:33.000 You know what I mean? 0.93
00:04:34.000 He meant so much to the culture, and when he just didn't see me, I just was like, damn, years go by. 0.80
00:04:41.000 And the pain of it, like, diminishes, but it's still kind of in there. 0.80
00:04:45.000 But it's, you know, it's like a Marvel villain.
00:04:47.000 Like, I gotta...
00:04:48.000 Yeah.
00:04:49.000 I must...
00:04:49.000 But it kind of...
00:04:51.000 So then Russell has another show.
00:04:53.000 And...
00:04:55.000 I didn't even think I was going to get picked.
00:04:57.000 My only goal was just to make him laugh because he was at the audition.
00:05:01.000 It was in New York.
00:05:02.000 I was living in New York.
00:05:03.000 He was there and Stan Latham was there.
00:05:07.000 This is years later.
00:05:08.000 I found out.
00:05:08.000 I knew who I was.
00:05:09.000 I knew what I was coming to say.
00:05:11.000 I didn't know if it was going to match their show.
00:05:13.000 And what I'm saying is Def Jam prided itself on being raw.
00:05:21.000 You know what I mean?
00:05:21.000 And a new voice.
00:05:25.000 So I didn't fit what they were selling.
00:05:29.000 So then when I saw Russell and Stan, I do my act.
00:05:33.000 I see Russell grab his stomach and go over.
00:05:36.000 So I'm good.
00:05:37.000 If I get the show, I get it.
00:05:38.000 If I don't get it, I'm good.
00:05:39.000 I see Stan Lathan go.
00:05:41.000 I see them do the whisper.
00:05:42.000 I literally don't care if I get the show.
00:05:45.000 I did what I set out to do.
00:05:47.000 So all the other comics are staying back to schmooze and, hey man, like I left.
00:05:51.000 I left.
00:05:52.000 I ended up getting the show. 0.98
00:05:54.000 And this is the show now when Russell was sitting in the audience and there are comics sitting up there and I'm doing my act and I was talking about HBO Hung, that show about white dude with a big dick for real, that's what we're doing. 0.90
00:06:07.000 That's where we're at now. 0.88
00:06:08.000 And I did like the stereotype game and all this stuff.
00:06:10.000 And I did one joke and I remember Russell got up and gave me a pound in the middle of my set.
00:06:17.000 It was like a slow motion.
00:06:19.000 You could see all the comics.
00:06:21.000 So it was like the full circle of...
00:06:24.000 24-year-old me, yeah, beat it.
00:06:27.000 And then 32, 34-year-old me, maybe?
00:06:31.000 Russell's like, yo, my man.
00:06:33.000 And then I would go, you know, and I was doing yoga with him for a little bit.
00:06:40.000 But we never hung.
00:06:41.000 It was just like, you know, it was just like...
00:06:44.000 I don't know.
00:06:45.000 It was just a full circle moment.
00:06:46.000 Did he call you and say, I'm giving you this month free yoga?
00:06:49.000 Was it a part of doing the show?
00:06:51.000 How did that happen?
00:06:52.000 No, he used to be at All Deaf.
00:06:54.000 He had All Deaf Digital.
00:06:57.000 So he moved here.
00:06:58.000 And I think I went there to pitch him something.
00:07:01.000 He was like, yo nigga, you do yoga? 0.99
00:07:02.000 You do yoga?
00:07:06.000 And he just gave me a month free.
00:07:07.000 And I was like, I'm going to take it.
00:07:08.000 And so every morning I would wake up and drive.
00:07:10.000 And I didn't know I was going to be in his class.
00:07:12.000 Like Usher Raymond would be in there.
00:07:13.000 He was flexible as hell.
00:07:14.000 Really?
00:07:15.000 Incredible.
00:07:16.000 Yeah, like all these people would be in there.
00:07:18.000 Usher could fight.
00:07:20.000 Really?
00:07:21.000 Have you ever seen him train?
00:07:22.000 No.
00:07:23.000 Usher has videos online of him training at Black House, and he's legit. 0.78
00:07:27.000 Wow.
00:07:28.000 Like, he's a legit skilled fighter.
00:07:30.000 I believe it.
00:07:31.000 Like, he's got, like, real good hands, he can throw kicks, everything.
00:07:35.000 Yeah.
00:07:35.000 He is probably the Kobe of R&B. Really?
00:07:40.000 I feel like he outworks everybody.
00:07:42.000 You know, when I saw him in yoga class, I was like, who else is doing this?
00:07:45.000 Like, in your field, you know what I mean?
00:07:48.000 Like, I don't know.
00:07:50.000 Yoga is something you don't get any credit for doing.
00:07:52.000 No. 0.99
00:07:53.000 Because it's fucking hard as shit, but it seems like no big deal. 0.99
00:07:56.000 Like, if you say, oh, I ran seven miles today, people are like, whoa. 0.99
00:07:59.000 Yeah, that's impressive. 1.00
00:08:00.000 You say, I did yoga today, they're like, bitch ass, what you doing? 1.00
00:08:03.000 Bitch ass, stretching with some old ladies. 1.00
00:08:05.000 Dude, I... But it's real. 1.00
00:08:08.000 I felt so good when I was doing it.
00:08:12.000 And I don't think I didn't tell anybody I was doing it.
00:08:15.000 You know what I mean?
00:08:16.000 Like my wife knew I was going.
00:08:18.000 But it's a personal thing.
00:08:20.000 It's like golf, right?
00:08:21.000 It's a personal...
00:08:23.000 It's just you against your body.
00:08:25.000 Russell, you give me tips.
00:08:27.000 You know, it's about breathing in difficult situations.
00:08:30.000 He would always say that.
00:08:31.000 I never forgot that.
00:08:33.000 It is about breathing.
00:08:34.000 Yeah.
00:08:34.000 Yeah.
00:08:35.000 It's about breathing.
00:08:36.000 That's what life is.
00:08:37.000 Life is going to give you difficult situations. 1.00
00:08:40.000 And if you don't remember to breathe, you're fucked. 0.99
00:08:43.000 That's kind of like the whole premise of it. 0.99
00:08:45.000 Well, I feel like we operate on a scale, and the least difficulty you have in your life, the more difficult it is to encounter real adversity.
00:08:56.000 So when you give yourself voluntary difficulty, so I volunteer to work out hard, I volunteer to do jujitsu, I volunteer to do yoga, I push myself to do these things.
00:09:08.000 When actual real-life difficulties come along, like, they're hard.
00:09:13.000 But there's never a time in life where it's as hard as a 90-minute yoga class.
00:09:17.000 Wow.
00:09:18.000 You're sweating like crazy.
00:09:20.000 You barely can stand up.
00:09:22.000 Your feet are cramping.
00:09:23.000 Your legs are cramping.
00:09:25.000 Pouring sweat.
00:09:26.000 Pouring down on the mats.
00:09:27.000 I mean, it's temporary.
00:09:29.000 You know it's going to end in 40, 50 seconds, whatever the pose is.
00:09:33.000 But to just hang in there is so hard.
00:09:38.000 Dude.
00:09:38.000 That I think it prepares you for other things other than the loss of a loved one or something like that.
00:09:42.000 That's impossible to prepare yourself for. 0.99
00:09:45.000 But just bullshit stress. 1.00
00:09:46.000 Just regular life bullshit stress. 1.00
00:09:49.000 Yoga class makes that stuff look like nonsense. 0.99
00:09:51.000 If you're doing yoga on a regular basis...
00:09:53.000 Yeah, well, it was something...
00:09:56.000 I'm consistently inconsistent.
00:09:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:09:59.000 But I'll go through a phase.
00:10:01.000 So before the Russell thing, I went to a hot Bikram class.
00:10:04.000 Yeah, that's what I do.
00:10:05.000 So I went to a hot Bikram class. 0.99
00:10:07.000 This is when I was single, so I was basically just following the asses. 0.94
00:10:12.000 I remember it was a big room, and everything was chilling. 0.95
00:10:20.000 I literally had never done this at all.
00:10:23.000 I don't know why.
00:10:26.000 I just remember they closed all the windows, and they stopped the fans, and it started getting really hot.
00:10:32.000 And I was doing the poses.
00:10:33.000 And I was shaking.
00:10:34.000 And like you said, I was sweating profusely.
00:10:37.000 And the only thing I knew was it was supposed to be a place of no judgment that kept going.
00:10:42.000 It's your journey.
00:10:43.000 It's yoga practice.
00:10:44.000 No judgment.
00:10:44.000 The lady had the little mic thing.
00:10:46.000 And she came over to me and she covered it.
00:10:48.000 And she whispered to me, Are you alright?
00:10:53.000 I was like, I'm feeling judged.
00:10:54.000 I'm like, I'm really feeling judged right now.
00:10:57.000 That's how awful I must have looked.
00:11:00.000 Like I couldn't.
00:11:01.000 And so I didn't really go back after that.
00:11:04.000 My ego was bruised a little bit.
00:11:06.000 And so I would do it at home sometimes.
00:11:10.000 Preparing to go back?
00:11:12.000 I was trying to practice yoga, son, so I could not get judged.
00:11:15.000 And when I left, the teacher was on the cover of the magazine in front. 0.99
00:11:19.000 I was like, damn. 0.99
00:11:21.000 Legit. 1.00
00:11:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:11:22.000 But how she did it was so funny.
00:11:24.000 She was like, are you all right?
00:11:27.000 I was trying to show off of these girls, man. 0.99
00:11:31.000 It was terrible. 0.99
00:11:32.000 It's fucking hard, man. 0.94
00:11:33.000 And the reason why they ask you if you're alright is because sometimes people are not alright. 0.98
00:11:38.000 Yeah.
00:11:38.000 Like, I've seen people almost black out where they have to lay down.
00:11:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:11:41.000 Because it's 105 degrees in there.
00:11:44.000 And if you're not used to that kind of exercise in that kind of temperature, if you have, you know, if you're one of those people that just, that stuff gets to you and you can handle it.
00:11:54.000 You can pass out.
00:11:54.000 Yeah, you can legitimately pass out.
00:11:56.000 They don't need that.
00:11:57.000 I remember, did you remember Bally's gym?
00:11:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:59.000 I remember I used to live on Bally's at the bottom of the hill and I belonged to Bally's.
00:12:06.000 And I would go, you know, I went through a period, I'm going when it opens.
00:12:10.000 And so I went, I think it opened at 6 maybe. 0.96
00:12:12.000 Damn, you were a 6 o'clock in the morning guy. 0.98
00:12:14.000 I did that for a minute. 0.99
00:12:16.000 Get there.
00:12:17.000 It's a line.
00:12:18.000 I said, how come we can't go in?
00:12:19.000 And this lady's like, somebody's dead in the pool. 1.00
00:12:22.000 It was a dead body like floating in the valleys.
00:12:25.000 Whoa.
00:12:26.000 And then I never forget this other lady goes, at least he got out his contract. 0.97
00:12:33.000 Like, not even gave him a second to, like, no moment of silence.
00:12:38.000 Because Baddies was notorious for not letting you out.
00:12:41.000 Yeah.
00:12:41.000 At least he got out his contract.
00:12:42.000 And then everybody still waited.
00:12:44.000 Well, 24-Hour Fitness is the weirdest one.
00:12:47.000 They let you sign up for, like, 10 years for, like, a dollar a week.
00:12:50.000 Hilarious. 0.99
00:12:50.000 They don't give a fuck. 0.99
00:12:51.000 They know you're not coming. 0.99
00:12:53.000 Right.
00:12:53.000 They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll help you with your goals.
00:12:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:56.000 Yeah, you're going to get fit.
00:12:57.000 You're going to get jacked. 0.97
00:12:59.000 We're going to get ripped like Bobby over here. 0.99
00:13:00.000 Look at Bobby.
00:13:01.000 Bobby shows up every day.
00:13:02.000 Right.
00:13:02.000 And you're like, wow, I'm going to be like Bobby.
00:13:04.000 And then you just start eating chips, drinking soda, never show up.
00:13:08.000 I wonder, like, what are the percentages?
00:13:10.000 I wonder if we could find this.
00:13:11.000 What are the percentages of members in 24 hours, 24-hour fitness, that actually go on a regular basis?
00:13:19.000 I bet.
00:13:19.000 That's a great hustle.
00:13:20.000 They wouldn't share that.
00:13:21.000 They wouldn't share it.
00:13:21.000 No way.
00:13:22.000 You're probably right.
00:13:23.000 Yeah.
00:13:23.000 No way.
00:13:23.000 Because then people would go, why am I signing up for that?
00:13:25.000 Yeah.
00:13:25.000 Yeah.
00:13:26.000 That's a great hustle, man.
00:13:28.000 I had a 24-hour fitness for a moment, and then I would go, and it would be so crowded, I would just go home.
00:13:33.000 Sometimes it's real crowded.
00:13:34.000 Yeah.
00:13:34.000 I can't even do anything.
00:13:37.000 Then some of them, you couldn't use all of them, too.
00:13:40.000 Yes.
00:13:40.000 Oh, you don't have that membership.
00:13:42.000 What are you talking about?
00:13:43.000 Equinox is like that, too.
00:13:45.000 I did Equinox for a second.
00:13:46.000 This is a 24-hour club sport.
00:13:49.000 Yeah.
00:13:49.000 Like, what?
00:13:50.000 Yeah.
00:13:50.000 I did Equinox for a second.
00:13:52.000 I got to play basketball with Magic.
00:13:55.000 Really?
00:13:55.000 Yeah, he was in there working out every morning.
00:13:57.000 Wow.
00:13:58.000 This one I was on Arsenio, too.
00:13:59.000 So he'd just play a pickup game with people?
00:14:01.000 No, I didn't.
00:14:02.000 He would shoot around, and I just kind of like...
00:14:05.000 Made myself available on the court.
00:14:07.000 I'm just there.
00:14:08.000 When the ball went through the rim, I went and got the rebound.
00:14:11.000 I gave it to him.
00:14:13.000 And he shot another one.
00:14:14.000 I got the rebound.
00:14:14.000 I go, I always wanted the rebound for you.
00:14:18.000 And then I gave him a pass.
00:14:19.000 And he did the classic hook.
00:14:20.000 And he goes, and now you got an assist.
00:14:23.000 That's hilarious.
00:14:25.000 Because a lot of basketball players would come up there.
00:14:28.000 And I would look at them like, man, I'm glad I couldn't.
00:14:30.000 Magic is huge, man.
00:14:32.000 Have you seen him in person?
00:14:33.000 No.
00:14:35.000 He's huge.
00:14:36.000 And I'm 6'5".
00:14:38.000 But his back is like...
00:14:40.000 I had hoop dreams until I played against Grand Hill in high school.
00:14:47.000 Grand Hill was 6'9".
00:14:49.000 And it was a Christmas tournament.
00:14:51.000 And my mom was there.
00:14:53.000 And my girlfriend at the time.
00:14:55.000 Shout out to...
00:14:56.000 I'm married now.
00:14:58.000 But anyway.
00:14:59.000 My girlfriend at the time was there.
00:15:01.000 And...
00:15:03.000 I had a rah-rah section. 0.98
00:15:04.000 We were the home team, and Grant Hill comes in, and my coach had me check him.
00:15:10.000 And I never...
00:15:11.000 I guarantee you he won't remember this.
00:15:15.000 But...
00:15:17.000 It's this thing called a crossover, right?
00:15:19.000 And most people, if you cross over, I'm still in front of you.
00:15:23.000 Grant was so long when he did put the ball from this hand to this hand, I had to literally slide two steps.
00:15:31.000 And then when he went back, I had to slide back two steps.
00:15:33.000 And when he went up here, there was no way I could get up there.
00:15:36.000 And so I told my girlfriend, yo, go home.
00:15:38.000 Like, y'all don't need to see this.
00:15:40.000 He scored like 60 points.
00:15:43.000 He was shooting from half court.
00:15:44.000 Like, he just looked at us like...
00:15:45.000 I was like...
00:15:48.000 I'm going to do well in school.
00:15:50.000 That's a fascinating thing when you see someone who's a world-class athlete at the beginning of their journey.
00:15:56.000 This is in high school?
00:15:57.000 High school.
00:15:58.000 Yeah, beginning of their journey.
00:16:00.000 Because he's really just becoming a man.
00:16:03.000 He's not even really a man yet.
00:16:05.000 Nope.
00:16:06.000 But you see, already, they have that jump.
00:16:09.000 I'm sure Jordan was like that.
00:16:11.000 Wasn't Jordan who didn't make his high school team?
00:16:13.000 Yeah.
00:16:13.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:16:14.000 Who cut him?
00:16:16.000 God!
00:16:16.000 Yeah, you know that coach had to, when he went home that night, had to talk to his wife like, I think I made a terrible mistake.
00:16:23.000 But he probably didn't realize it because at the time, Jordan probably, well Jordan is not the biggest guy in the world either, right?
00:16:27.000 How tall is he?
00:16:28.000 Is he 6'4"?
00:16:29.000 He's 6'6".
00:16:29.000 6'6".
00:16:30.000 6'6". 0.99
00:16:30.000 But compared to some of those giants, like when you're standing there, Shaq is the most ridiculous human being I've ever met. 0.99
00:16:35.000 He's incredibly tall, yeah. 0.99
00:16:36.000 His hands are as big as his table.
00:16:37.000 Yes.
00:16:37.000 They just reach out and just swallow your arm.
00:16:40.000 Yeah.
00:16:41.000 He's so big.
00:16:42.000 He lives in my neighborhood.
00:16:43.000 A word?
00:16:43.000 Yeah.
00:16:44.000 I did a commercial with him.
00:16:46.000 It never aired.
00:16:47.000 We did like a series of spots.
00:16:49.000 And he was like a big kid, man.
00:16:51.000 He was so fun.
00:16:52.000 He's a fun guy.
00:16:53.000 I did Fear Factor with him.
00:16:54.000 You did?
00:16:54.000 He did a whole episode with me.
00:16:55.000 Oh, man.
00:16:56.000 Where he came in, because we did it in Orlando.
00:16:58.000 Yeah.
00:16:58.000 He was a fan, so he brought his whole family down.
00:17:00.000 He had a bus.
00:17:01.000 He brought a tour bus to hang out in.
00:17:03.000 He's so fun, man.
00:17:04.000 And then he did the thing.
00:17:06.000 Three, two, one, go! 0.96
00:17:09.000 And I'm standing next to him like a little six-year-old with my dad.
00:17:12.000 It's hilarious.
00:17:14.000 But yeah, there's people that are just different, man.
00:17:17.000 They're just different level athletes.
00:17:20.000 And I bet Jordan, as good as he was, he needed that rejection to turn that burner on.
00:17:26.000 Yeah.
00:17:27.000 To make him Jordan.
00:17:28.000 Yeah, to make him focus.
00:17:29.000 Yeah.
00:17:30.000 And that's always going to be a story, that he was cut from his high school basketball team.
00:17:34.000 I think he brought it up in his Hall of Fame speech.
00:17:35.000 I think so, too.
00:17:36.000 Yeah, I love that. 0.97
00:17:36.000 The Hall of Fame speech when he kept shitting on all his different writers. 0.97
00:17:40.000 He remembered all of them. 0.82
00:17:41.000 All of them.
00:17:42.000 Like, bro, you're Michael Jordan.
00:17:43.000 Why are you even bringing these guys up?
00:17:44.000 Nobody even cares.
00:17:45.000 Wouldn't let it go.
00:17:47.000 But that's why he's so great.
00:17:48.000 Yeah.
00:17:49.000 That burning fire.
00:17:50.000 They would say that if you beat him at pool, he would hate you for two weeks until he'd play you again.
00:17:54.000 Amazing.
00:17:54.000 He used to have a pool tournament that he would do in Chicago every year, and it was for charity.
00:17:58.000 So he'd have all these celebrities come and play pool with them.
00:18:01.000 But, you know, he wasn't a good pool player.
00:18:03.000 He was like, it was okay.
00:18:05.000 But there's like real pool players out there. 1.00
00:18:07.000 They'll fuck you up. 0.99
00:18:08.000 And if he got beat, he would be furious, apparently. 1.00
00:18:11.000 He just couldn't handle it.
00:18:12.000 But that's the case with everyone who's great at something. 1.00
00:18:15.000 They don't want to lose that shit. 0.99
00:18:16.000 They don't want to lose that backgammon, Parcheesi, you know. 1.00
00:18:20.000 Is that healthy at a certain point?
00:18:22.000 No!
00:18:25.000 It's like, yo, Mike, turn that off, man.
00:18:27.000 It's so unhealthy.
00:18:28.000 Yeah.
00:18:28.000 It's so unhealthy, but that's what makes them great.
00:18:30.000 It's like, there's a pro and a con to everything, you know?
00:18:35.000 I have this saying that I've always said, that greatness and madness are next-door neighbors, and they borrow each other's sugar. 0.97
00:18:41.000 You can't be great unless you're a little crazy. 1.00
00:18:45.000 And if you can't be the best ever, unless you're out of your fucking mind. 1.00
00:18:49.000 And Jordan, when you see him in that... 0.99
00:18:53.000 That speech when he's talking about the Hall of Fame, when he's talking about getting inducted and all the people that are wrong, all the people that...
00:19:00.000 He's angry still. 0.99
00:19:02.000 I mean, he's a crazy person.
00:19:03.000 This is one of your great highlights as recognized the greatest basketball player of all time. 0.72
00:19:11.000 Think about how many people have played basketball.
00:19:13.000 Millions of people all over this country and millions of people around the world.
00:19:17.000 There's one guy.
00:19:18.000 Everybody says, who's the greatest basketball player? 0.98
00:19:20.000 It's Michael motherfucking Jordan, right? 0.97
00:19:23.000 I mean, you've got your other people. 0.99
00:19:25.000 You've got your dissenters who say, well, I think LeBron's better.
00:19:29.000 I have a theory.
00:19:30.000 I have a theory about that.
00:19:31.000 I have a theory about that.
00:19:32.000 So here's my thing.
00:19:33.000 I feel like that's the wrong narrative.
00:19:35.000 I feel like...
00:19:36.000 So here's...
00:19:41.000 My friend and I, we were talking about what is greatness, right?
00:19:47.000 Greatness is clearly the numbers and the accolades and the wins, but greatness is also...
00:19:53.000 Being able to overcome great difficulty and still perform.
00:19:59.000 And so adding that into the formula, I feel like out of everyone that's a part of the conversation, LeBron is the only one who never met his dad.
00:20:13.000 Jordan knew his dad.
00:20:14.000 Kobe, rest in peace, his dad played in the NBA. Magic knew his dad.
00:20:19.000 Kareem knew his dad.
00:20:20.000 It's a thing.
00:20:23.000 LeBron, tallest dude in Akron, walking around every day.
00:20:29.000 You see another tall dude, he had to be like, Dad?
00:20:31.000 You know what I mean?
00:20:33.000 Just mentally, who taught him the game?
00:20:37.000 Jordan had these great teachers and all that.
00:20:38.000 So I feel like the question should be, Michael Jordan is clearly the greatest of all time with two parents.
00:20:45.000 But with one parent, LeBron is the greatest and Kevin Durant is like a...
00:20:51.000 That's an interesting way of looking at it.
00:20:53.000 Just because it's different starting lines.
00:20:55.000 But there's so many different variables that take place in your life from birth to death to just isolate one factor, like not having a father.
00:21:04.000 Well, but I mean, it's like...
00:21:08.000 Jordan talked about when he got cut from his team, his dad was the one who pushed him.
00:21:13.000 He was his greatest motivator.
00:21:16.000 He had that.
00:21:17.000 Who was doing that for LeBron?
00:21:20.000 Who taught him the game?
00:21:22.000 Jordan went to NC State where Dean Smith was one of the greatest.
00:21:28.000 Everyone talks about Jordan's fundamentals.
00:21:30.000 Where did LeBron learn this from?
00:21:31.000 Who was teaching them this stuff?
00:21:34.000 And so it's just a different space.
00:21:38.000 And I relate to LeBron because I was raised by a single mom.
00:21:42.000 So I recognize myself more in him than in Jordan.
00:21:49.000 It's a very nuanced thing.
00:21:55.000 But I feel like when people go, who's the greatest?
00:21:57.000 I'm like, man, I do have two parents.
00:22:01.000 That's funny.
00:22:02.000 But what about motivation?
00:22:04.000 The thing about having two parents versus one, is there something about having one parent that gives you this insane motivation to drive, this drive to succeed?
00:22:13.000 That's a factor in a lot of people.
00:22:15.000 That was a factor in me.
00:22:16.000 Yeah.
00:22:17.000 Growing up because I didn't grow up with my dad.
00:22:18.000 Yeah.
00:22:19.000 Oh, you didn't?
00:22:19.000 Not knowing my dad.
00:22:20.000 I talked to my dad since I was seven years old.
00:22:22.000 Okay.
00:22:22.000 So that and the fact that I knew him up until I was six and then didn't talk to him for the rest of my life.
00:22:28.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:22:29.000 That fucked with me. 1.00
00:22:30.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:22:30.000 And there's a part of that. 1.00
00:22:32.000 There's a part of that. 1.00
00:22:34.000 That would make you like, I'll show you motherfuckers. 1.00
00:22:36.000 Like, you guys don't think I'm worth anything? 1.00
00:22:37.000 I'll show you.
00:22:38.000 Like, there's something that, like, Mike Tyson had that.
00:22:41.000 Like, a lot of people had that.
00:22:43.000 A lot of great athletes had terrible upbringings.
00:22:46.000 And it's almost a positive factor.
00:22:48.000 You know, you could say that Jordan's dad was a positive factor, and that can work as well.
00:22:54.000 But also, sometimes it can be a positive factor to be ignored.
00:22:57.000 Having a difficult childhood can actually be a positive factor.
00:23:00.000 Oh, definitely.
00:23:01.000 I mean, look, LeBron's a billionaire.
00:23:03.000 Clearly, it was a positive factor.
00:23:05.000 It worked out.
00:23:07.000 Definitely, it worked out.
00:23:08.000 I'm just saying, in the debate of who's the greatest, it's like, there's two different ways that could go.
00:23:16.000 But it's also like, they're playing in different eras.
00:23:21.000 Did you see the Tyson Fury, Deontay Wilder fight?
00:23:23.000 I saw clips. 0.99
00:23:24.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:23:24.000 Oh my gosh. 1.00
00:23:25.000 Were you there?
00:23:26.000 No.
00:23:26.000 No, I watched it at home.
00:23:27.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:23:28.000 How big is Fury though? 0.99
00:23:30.000 6'7".
00:23:31.000 Almost 300 pounds?
00:23:32.000 No, 6'9".
00:23:32.000 Deontay's 6'7", Fury's 6'9".
00:23:35.000 6'9", 270 pounds.
00:23:40.000 He said he figured out in the first fight that Deontay, in the 12th round, he started backing Deontay up.
00:23:46.000 Deontay can't fight backing up.
00:23:47.000 Because Deontay is a guy who pushes forward, and he's got this ridiculous power.
00:23:53.000 And everybody's scared of his power, so everybody's moving all the time.
00:23:56.000 And Fury realized in the 12th round, after Deontay knocked him down, almost knocked him out, he got up and started chasing Deontay, and Deontay fought Sloppy.
00:24:05.000 He said he looked awkward.
00:24:06.000 He said his footwork didn't look so good.
00:24:09.000 Technique.
00:24:10.000 Deontay's known as being this guy who's got an eraser.
00:24:13.000 His right hand's like an eraser.
00:24:15.000 All the mistakes.
00:24:16.000 Teddy Atlas put it this way.
00:24:17.000 All the mistakes of the previous rounds all get erased with one punch.
00:24:21.000 Blah!
00:24:21.000 He just shuts people's lights out.
00:24:23.000 And he has that confidence that he has that eraser power.
00:24:26.000 But with Tyson Fury, you realize, look, Tyson doesn't fight that way.
00:24:31.000 Tyson Fury fights on his toes.
00:24:32.000 He sticks and moves.
00:24:33.000 He does a lot of head movement and a lot of shucking and jiving.
00:24:37.000 It makes it very difficult for you to figure out what he's doing.
00:24:40.000 Like, is he going here?
00:24:41.000 Is he going there?
00:24:41.000 Is he moving?
00:24:42.000 Is he jabbing?
00:24:43.000 He'll come at you like this with two, three fake jabs, then a jab at a right hand.
00:24:46.000 He'll throw a right hand to the body, then he'll throw a left uppercut, he'll step to the side of you, he'll throw a right hand, he'll move out of the way, he'll pop you with a jab as he's moving away.
00:24:54.000 He's like a very technical, like really sophisticated boxer.
00:24:59.000 If you look at the movement that he does, for someone as big as him, it's really kind of crazy.
00:25:04.000 And it's not that he couldn't step forward and smash people and knock people out.
00:25:08.000 It's just he knows the sweet science.
00:25:11.000 Yes.
00:25:12.000 You know, he knows the sweet science.
00:25:13.000 But then he realized for this fight, he had to fight a different way.
00:25:18.000 To shock Deontay, he had to come at Deontay, full blast, get in his face from the jump.
00:25:25.000 And that's exactly what he did.
00:25:26.000 He also changed trainers.
00:25:30.000 Yeah.
00:25:44.000 Defensive style of fighting.
00:25:46.000 They have heavy jabs.
00:25:47.000 They don't touch you with a jab.
00:25:48.000 They're smashing with a jab.
00:25:50.000 Big power in the right hand.
00:25:51.000 Like, Kronk was an attacking, aggressive style.
00:25:55.000 Like, they were all known.
00:25:56.000 Like, they would wear those Kronk shorts, those yellow golden shorts. 1.00
00:25:59.000 You saw a guy with Kronk shorts on, that motherfucker came to kill you. 1.00
00:26:02.000 They fought in the gym. 1.00
00:26:06.000 Emanuel Stewart would turn the heat up to 100 degrees. 0.99
00:26:09.000 So when they were doing, they were doing like hot yoga in the fucking cronk gym. 0.96
00:26:13.000 Because he wanted to build up endurance in these guys. 0.99
00:26:16.000 So when you would go into the cronk gym in Detroit, it was hot as fuck. 0.99
00:26:20.000 Like really hot. 0.98
00:26:22.000 And that's how he would force everybody to train, under extreme duress.
00:26:26.000 He was an amazing, amazing trainer.
00:26:28.000 He's the guy who rejuvenated Vladimir Klitschko.
00:26:32.000 When Vladimir Klitschko was falling apart, because he had gotten KO'd a few times, He didn't have an American style.
00:26:42.000 He had this sort of straight-up European style, and Emanuel Stewart just shifted his style and just made him concentrate on utilizing that long reach and the big power, that long jab.
00:26:54.000 When Tyson Fury went with a Kronk trainer for this, he was dead serious.
00:27:00.000 He was going for seek and destroy.
00:27:01.000 He told everybody that's what he was going to do, too.
00:27:03.000 But nobody believed him.
00:27:04.000 Everybody thought it was just a hustle.
00:27:06.000 Like him saying, I'm going to knock out Deontay Wilder.
00:27:08.000 I'm going to come after him.
00:27:09.000 I'm going to knock him out in two rounds. 1.00
00:27:11.000 Everybody's like, you're out of your fucking mind. 1.00
00:27:13.000 Even Deontay was like, you don't believe a word you're saying. 1.00
00:27:15.000 You're just talking.
00:27:16.000 You're not going to try to knock me out.
00:27:18.000 That's exactly what he did.
00:27:19.000 He figured out the puzzle.
00:27:20.000 He figured out the puzzle in the 12th round of the first fight.
00:27:23.000 He just realized when he had him backing up, he's like, oh, this guy stumbles on his feet.
00:27:27.000 He gets all awkward and you got him backing up.
00:27:29.000 Yeah.
00:27:30.000 So he just stuck to him like glue.
00:27:33.000 He took that L. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 0.95
00:27:36.000 I want to start fighting, man.
00:27:38.000 No, no.
00:27:40.000 My son needs to know...
00:27:44.000 I want to talk to you about...
00:27:45.000 First, I want to thank you because you've been very kind about just promoting my stand-up on this platform.
00:27:50.000 Oh, you're welcome, dude.
00:27:51.000 I'm a huge fan.
00:27:52.000 Thank you, man.
00:27:53.000 You don't make any sense to me.
00:27:55.000 I know.
00:27:55.000 You are one of the best comics in the world.
00:27:57.000 And the fact that people don't know who you are, you should be filling arenas.
00:28:01.000 So this is what I'm doing.
00:28:03.000 I made something, and I want to give it to your viewers so they can watch it and judge for themselves.
00:28:09.000 If they just go to textowen.com.
00:28:12.000 Textowen.com.
00:28:13.000 Textowen.com.
00:28:14.000 I'll send you some never-before-seen stand-up of mine. 1.00
00:28:18.000 If you fuck with it, then we see what happens. 0.99
00:28:21.000 I'll check back with you a little bit later. 1.00
00:28:23.000 Oh, there we go.
00:28:24.000 Yeah, you go to that.
00:28:26.000 You're doing the Improv With Me Wednesday, right?
00:28:28.000 I am.
00:28:28.000 Late show.
00:28:28.000 This Wednesday.
00:28:29.000 Late show.
00:28:30.000 Yeah, come hit me with that.
00:28:32.000 I'll text you back.
00:28:32.000 Beautiful.
00:28:32.000 And then after this podcast, see how many people, whatever, and I'm going to send you some never-before-seen stand-up.
00:28:38.000 If you haven't seen me, not familiar with me.
00:28:40.000 Dude, it's going to break your phone.
00:28:41.000 Hey, man.
00:28:42.000 That's my prayer.
00:28:43.000 You know what I mean?
00:28:44.000 Because you don't understand your kind words, how it's affected my life in a great way.
00:28:56.000 I felt like Vladimir Klitschko, basically, as far as comedy is concerned.
00:29:01.000 And then when you would be like...
00:29:02.000 Dude, I'm like, for real?
00:29:04.000 Well, it doesn't make sense to me.
00:29:06.000 I know great comics, you know.
00:29:09.000 Most comics, when they get to your level, they're famous.
00:29:12.000 They're famous for being really great comics.
00:29:15.000 Well, I see you on stage.
00:29:16.000 I was watching the last time we worked together, and I forget who I was standing in the back of the room talking to, but I was like, this doesn't even make any sense.
00:29:23.000 I mean, he's so good.
00:29:25.000 He should be headlining arenas.
00:29:27.000 That's my goal, yeah.
00:29:28.000 It's true.
00:29:30.000 Your comedy is so polished.
00:29:32.000 And I was talking to Tony about it.
00:29:35.000 Tony Hinchcliffe.
00:29:35.000 We were in the back watching once.
00:29:37.000 I was like, look how economy of words.
00:29:40.000 You use just the right amount of words.
00:29:42.000 You have to fill in the blank.
00:29:44.000 You make people fill in the blank sometimes and it makes things even funnier. 1.00
00:29:48.000 Like, that's all black belt shit, man. 1.00
00:29:50.000 I love it. 0.99
00:29:51.000 You just spent so much time writing, you know, and writing for sitcoms and writing for movies, and I know it's been very lucrative for you, and it's great, and, you know, you're a great writer, there's no question about it, but you're a world-class stand-up.
00:30:05.000 Thank you, man.
00:30:05.000 Thank you.
00:30:06.000 Thank you, thank you, everybody.
00:30:07.000 It's true.
00:30:07.000 Go to texton.com.
00:30:09.000 I'm serious, man, because it's like...
00:30:11.000 You know how the business changed, and I thought that if you just had quality work, that it would...
00:30:17.000 And then it just changed to something that I... The TV shit all went away. 0.99
00:30:21.000 It all went away. 1.00
00:30:22.000 And so we'll see.
00:30:25.000 We'll see.
00:30:25.000 I'm putting myself out there.
00:30:27.000 Well, you've got to get a special.
00:30:29.000 That's all it's going to take for you.
00:30:31.000 On a platform that people watch.
00:30:33.000 Netflix, someone's going to step up.
00:30:35.000 Yeah, that would be great.
00:30:36.000 Yeah.
00:30:38.000 So we'll see.
00:30:39.000 But I just wanted to thank you.
00:30:41.000 My pleasure.
00:30:42.000 We'll see what happens.
00:30:42.000 Yeah, break my phone, y'all.
00:30:44.000 I want to experience that.
00:30:47.000 Because Comedy Central is great.
00:30:50.000 I owe them a debt of gratitude.
00:30:51.000 They put my special out in 2014 and 2009. But the reality is it's just not the same anymore.
00:30:57.000 People aren't watching it like they used to watch it.
00:30:59.000 Yeah, they lost the public trust somewhere. 1.00
00:31:01.000 Yeah, well, they put out a lot of bullshit shows. 1.00
00:31:03.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:31:05.000 They're micromanaging things.
00:31:06.000 There's a lot of people that are scared of anything controversial.
00:31:09.000 Yeah.
00:31:09.000 Somebody told me they fired a lot of people over there, but you know, you hear that.
00:31:13.000 We'll see.
00:31:13.000 We'll see what's happening next.
00:31:14.000 Listen, they passed on Kyle Dunnigan's show.
00:31:16.000 Oh.
00:31:16.000 Kyle Dunn again.
00:31:18.000 That fucking shit that he does with Face Swap is the funniest shit on Instagram. 1.00
00:31:23.000 He is the funniest man on Instagram. 1.00
00:31:24.000 And there's a lot of funny shit on Instagram. 1.00
00:31:26.000 But his shit makes me cry. 1.00
00:31:30.000 I cry sometimes watching his stuff. 1.00
00:31:32.000 He's so talented. 0.53
00:31:33.000 He's a talented, creative guy, and the fact that they didn't pick that show up, but I knew they were fucking it up already because he showed me this one clip.
00:31:41.000 It was Caitlyn, you know, he does everything with face swaps, right? 0.97
00:31:44.000 He had Caitlyn Jenner on top of Donald Trump, fucking Donald Trump, and it was hilarious, man. 0.98
00:31:50.000 He shows it to me in the back room of the main room. 1.00
00:31:52.000 I'm crying.
00:31:54.000 Tears are coming down my eyes.
00:31:55.000 We're laughing so hard.
00:31:56.000 He goes, and get this.
00:31:57.000 Comedy Central passed on that.
00:31:58.000 I go, what?
00:31:59.000 I know.
00:32:00.000 He said, we can't do that one.
00:32:01.000 They said, we can't do that one.
00:32:03.000 It's too controversial.
00:32:04.000 I go, controversial?
00:32:05.000 That's what you do.
00:32:06.000 Right.
00:32:07.000 Everything you do is controversial.
00:32:08.000 But it's so obvious that it's fake.
00:32:11.000 It's funny because it's fake.
00:32:12.000 It's like South Park. 1.00
00:32:14.000 Like, you fucking dummies! 1.00
00:32:15.000 What is your most successful show? 1.00
00:32:17.000 South Park!
00:32:18.000 What does that show do? 1.00
00:32:20.000 They don't give a fuck! 1.00
00:32:21.000 They go all out! 1.00
00:32:23.000 South Park has no boundaries!
00:32:25.000 And it's one of the reasons why it's the greatest comedy show ever!
00:32:29.000 Yo man, you...
00:32:30.000 That's the thing about creating and depending on invisible people to...
00:32:38.000 Yes.
00:32:39.000 Because you don't know where the no's coming from. 0.96
00:32:41.000 Right.
00:32:42.000 Like what you just said is an impassioned argument.
00:32:44.000 If you could sit down with the decision maker and go and just talk about it.
00:32:48.000 Yes.
00:32:48.000 Maybe his show would have gone, but you don't know who anybody is.
00:32:52.000 You write it.
00:32:53.000 You just go, this is good.
00:32:56.000 It's so hard because there's the people that are watching it and then judging whether or not they're going to put it on television.
00:33:02.000 First of all, they're not creative people.
00:33:03.000 If they were, they would be doing what you're doing.
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:06.000 They're executives.
00:33:06.000 Yeah.
00:33:07.000 And they think they're smart.
00:33:08.000 They think they understand comedy, and they also don't want to get fired, and they also don't want to get in trouble, and they also want to sell ads. 0.97
00:33:14.000 There's so much fuckery going on. 0.90
00:33:16.000 Yeah, you know what I wish I knew? 0.93
00:33:17.000 I wish I knew what their, they call it mandates, like what their mandates are, or what they're dealing with.
00:33:24.000 Just so that...
00:33:26.000 Because you get excited about something and you push and you go, this is what I want to do.
00:33:30.000 And it is...
00:33:32.000 Sometimes you go, oh man, I don't think they're considering the actual audience sometimes.
00:33:36.000 So I don't...
00:33:37.000 But I... I don't know what they're...
00:33:40.000 Considering, you know?
00:33:41.000 And it can drive you crazy.
00:33:43.000 It can drive you crazy.
00:33:44.000 They're also seriously worried about woke culture.
00:33:48.000 They want to make sure, like, I've had friends that wanted to pitch things, and they're like, where's the diversity?
00:33:52.000 You know?
00:33:54.000 We need a trans, biracial woman in this. 1.00
00:33:57.000 We need this.
00:33:57.000 We need that.
00:33:58.000 Like, hey, just concentrate on making it good.
00:34:00.000 Make it great.
00:34:01.000 Just make it good.
00:34:02.000 You know, I think your diversity should be everybody who's good.
00:34:05.000 Find people who are good.
00:34:06.000 Don't...
00:34:07.000 Don't exclude them because they're gay or trans or whatever, but don't include them because they are if they're not talented, because that's not good. 0.69
00:34:14.000 You just need good.
00:34:16.000 You know, it would be nice if it was easy for all those people of all different backgrounds to get up in stand-up comedy clubs and then get their career going.
00:34:25.000 And I don't know any situation.
00:34:27.000 I mean, I'm so far removed from open mics, it's hard for me to even talk about it anymore.
00:34:31.000 We should do one.
00:34:31.000 We should.
00:34:32.000 We should do one.
00:34:33.000 We should. 1.00
00:34:33.000 Just new shit. 1.00
00:34:34.000 Let's film it. 1.00
00:34:34.000 Only do new shit. 1.00
00:34:36.000 Hey, whatever happened to that thing we did with the notebooks? 0.99
00:34:41.000 That was hilarious.
00:34:42.000 I couldn't believe I found those.
00:34:44.000 Dude, it was great.
00:34:44.000 I was thinking of giving that to people when they text Owen.com.
00:34:48.000 So, I shot...
00:34:50.000 Six edited four and took it around town.
00:34:55.000 A lot of people didn't get it.
00:34:56.000 A lot of no's.
00:34:56.000 The people who loved it the most was All Things Comedy.
00:35:00.000 And they were like, we want to take this out.
00:35:03.000 But I was partnered with somebody at the time.
00:35:06.000 I had a manager at the time that they didn't connect with, so it kind of went away.
00:35:11.000 My wife, we were just talking about this.
00:35:13.000 This should be on TV. It's such a clean, simple, fun idea.
00:35:18.000 Well, it should be on YouTube.
00:35:19.000 It should be, yeah.
00:35:20.000 That was my initial plan.
00:35:22.000 My initial plan was to put it on YouTube.
00:35:23.000 Why don't you put it on YouTube now?
00:35:25.000 I don't know.
00:35:26.000 I just...
00:35:27.000 Does somebody else own it?
00:35:28.000 No, we.
00:35:29.000 It's all me.
00:35:30.000 It's all me on my IP. Put it on YouTube.
00:35:32.000 Alright, I'll put it on YouTube.
00:35:33.000 Put it on YouTube.
00:35:34.000 Will you support it or tag it or something?
00:35:36.000 I don't know how that stuff works, man. 0.99
00:35:38.000 I'll do all that shit. 1.00
00:35:38.000 You're like a genius back there. 1.00
00:35:40.000 You don't understand, man.
00:35:41.000 I'm so afraid of...
00:35:43.000 I'm not afraid of no.
00:35:45.000 I just got to get the first gut punch and then I'll keep going.
00:35:48.000 You understand what I'm saying?
00:35:48.000 What do you mean?
00:35:50.000 Something weird happened, man.
00:35:51.000 My younger self...
00:35:53.000 Everything people are doing on Instagram, I did when I was 18, 19, 20. Then you get a little bit older, you're like, what's this tape?
00:36:01.000 What's going on?
00:36:02.000 That's how I feel about TikTok.
00:36:04.000 Yes!
00:36:05.000 So when this idea came to me, I thought...
00:36:09.000 I think his name is Chase Jarvis.
00:36:11.000 I was looking at Chase Jarvis.
00:36:13.000 I never heard of this guy, but I used to watch his interviews, and he was always sponsored by something very cool.
00:36:20.000 He's a photographer, and he had his own show.
00:36:23.000 We shot it in his home, and he would only average like 50,000 views.
00:36:27.000 I'm like, how is this guy doing?
00:36:29.000 But I thought Notebooks could be something like that that would speak to comedy fans.
00:36:34.000 But my whole intention was to...
00:36:36.000 Because I felt like stand-up was being homogenized.
00:36:40.000 Because when you would just do some of these shows, the set was built and you would just stand there and perform.
00:36:45.000 But it was no way of an audience member to go, I want to follow this guy.
00:36:49.000 I want to come see this woman or this guy live. 0.94
00:36:52.000 So I thought Notebooks...
00:36:54.000 The show we're talking about is called Notebooks and it's basically...
00:36:58.000 The one thing comics never throw away is their old notebooks.
00:37:00.000 So I sat down with Joe.
00:37:02.000 I sat down with some other comics.
00:37:03.000 I couldn't believe I found those.
00:37:05.000 Wasn't it fun, man?
00:37:06.000 And you start going through it.
00:37:08.000 You watch Joe go back to where he was when he was performing it.
00:37:13.000 I could see it on your face.
00:37:15.000 I could see you remembering where you wrote this stuff, where you came up with it.
00:37:19.000 And it's just...
00:37:20.000 I don't know.
00:37:21.000 It just shows that this isn't...
00:37:23.000 We make it look easy, but it shows the journey.
00:37:26.000 It's also a way of appreciating.
00:37:29.000 Because sometimes we're hard on ourselves. 0.99
00:37:31.000 It's like, damn, man. 0.99
00:37:32.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:37:33.000 And there's funny stories where you're like, I thought this bit was going to make me.
00:37:38.000 This was going to shut it down.
00:37:39.000 This was my bring the pain, you know?
00:37:41.000 Right.
00:37:41.000 This is my bring the pain.
00:37:42.000 Right, right, right.
00:37:43.000 I mean, it's just...
00:37:45.000 And because...
00:37:45.000 Right.
00:37:46.000 Because I can listen to a comedian and tell how long they've been doing it, you know?
00:37:50.000 And I wanted to...
00:37:51.000 I got to this place where I don't believe anybody... 0.98
00:37:55.000 Sucks.
00:37:56.000 I just believe they haven't found it yet. 0.90
00:37:57.000 And I'm interested in like...
00:37:59.000 Let me tell you something. 0.99
00:38:00.000 There's some people that suck. 0.99
00:38:00.000 I didn't even say that! 0.99
00:38:02.000 I didn't even say that!
00:38:03.000 I didn't even say that!
00:38:04.000 Don't get confused.
00:38:05.000 You can't grow plants in the sand.
00:38:08.000 You just did yoga today, Joe.
00:38:09.000 Yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:38:10.000 There's a reality of...
00:38:12.000 There's a reality.
00:38:13.000 There's a reality.
00:38:14.000 But I mean, we got into this space where now...
00:38:19.000 People post everything online, so you're watching them.
00:38:22.000 I have videos of me in San Antonio, Texas in 1996. Not great, but it's on a VHS tape in my basement.
00:38:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:38:30.000 People are watching you grow.
00:38:31.000 Right.
00:38:31.000 But now, that would be on YouTube, and people would be like...
00:38:35.000 So when I did hit, some people would be like, man, I can't stand Owen from something that they saw.
00:38:39.000 You know what I mean?
00:38:40.000 It was like, I was figuring it out, man.
00:38:41.000 Of course.
00:38:42.000 I didn't know.
00:38:42.000 I thought fart jokes were funny, and I did them, you know?
00:38:45.000 You can't worry about that, though.
00:38:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:38:47.000 You just got to worry about what you're doing right now.
00:38:50.000 Yeah, so I'm going to put it out.
00:38:50.000 You can never worry about what you did.
00:38:52.000 All right.
00:38:52.000 I'm going to put it on a notebook.
00:38:53.000 I'm going to put notebooks out on YouTube.
00:38:55.000 Yeah, definitely. 0.96
00:38:56.000 I found some shit from 1991. Right. 0.98
00:38:59.000 It was fantastic.
00:38:59.000 That was crazy.
00:39:01.000 So terrible.
00:39:02.000 The writing was so bad.
00:39:03.000 It was great, but that's what was crazy about it.
00:39:05.000 And you were embarrassed when you were reading it.
00:39:07.000 It was fantastic.
00:39:09.000 I hadn't read it.
00:39:11.000 I knew I had it, so I grabbed it and I brought it to you.
00:39:14.000 But I hadn't looked at it before you and I were sitting there.
00:39:17.000 That's the point.
00:39:18.000 Yeah, so when I was going through it, I was like, oh my god, this is so bad.
00:39:21.000 Thinking about my 23-year-old self writing jokes.
00:39:25.000 It's the best. 0.99
00:39:26.000 And sometimes you find a gem where you go, damn. 0.99
00:39:28.000 That might be good. 1.00
00:39:30.000 You know, some bitch you bailed on. 1.00
00:39:32.000 You're it now. 1.00
00:39:35.000 So I know how to make this work.
00:39:37.000 We had some people connect with that.
00:39:41.000 And what I love about it is comics aren't burning material.
00:39:44.000 So I feel like everyone...
00:39:48.000 I mean, I prefer to have somebody that's, you know, gotten their 10,000 hours in.
00:39:52.000 Yes.
00:39:52.000 And so we can have, like, you know, those stories.
00:39:56.000 And it's just an interesting way in.
00:39:58.000 I loved it.
00:39:59.000 I loved it so much.
00:39:59.000 But my initial, my point is, I was like, I want to do this for YouTube.
00:40:04.000 But then I was like, man, maybe there's a televised play for this.
00:40:07.000 And three years later...
00:40:10.000 Yeah, I think nothing's worth bringing to TV anymore.
00:40:13.000 Yeah.
00:40:14.000 It's just not worth it anymore.
00:40:15.000 You're going to deal with too many people.
00:40:17.000 You don't need to deal with them.
00:40:19.000 They're not going to have good things.
00:40:21.000 Half the people, and this is generous, Half the people that you deal with that are executives really don't give a fuck about anything other than their mortgage or their car or their career or getting respect or office politics.
00:40:34.000 They might be working at Comedy Central. 0.99
00:40:36.000 They could easily be working at the History Channel or easily working at some other fucking network. 0.98
00:40:41.000 They're just TV network people. 0.96
00:40:43.000 Here I am trying to create a platform for some of my friends.
00:40:46.000 I feel like, why don't you have a following?
00:40:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40:49.000 And I'm like, if people just saw your work ethic, like how you write your jokes, people would be like, I like you now.
00:40:56.000 I understand what this is.
00:40:59.000 And I felt that that's what was missing from all these specials where people just stand in a spot and everybody has the same background.
00:41:06.000 They just changed the name.
00:41:07.000 No shade on that, but it's like very few people were popping off that.
00:41:12.000 And so much so, people thought I had one of those.
00:41:15.000 Did I ever tell you my Comedy Central story?
00:41:19.000 No.
00:41:20.000 So, okay.
00:41:22.000 So, I'm going to name check some people on here, but I literally, but I'm not doing it for, it's all good.
00:41:32.000 Like, I learned a lot from this experience.
00:41:34.000 So, George Carlin was performing at Homosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club.
00:41:38.000 I go down and watch George Carlin perform.
00:41:40.000 This would be his last special.
00:41:42.000 At the time, Kimber Rickenball, who was Rick Mill Productions, she comes over to me and she goes, why don't we have a half hour on you?
00:41:49.000 And I go, I don't know.
00:41:50.000 She gives me her card and she says, give me 21 minutes and we'll make it happen.
00:41:57.000 Or she alluded to that it would happen.
00:41:59.000 And so I'm standing next to the guy who books Hamosa Beach.
00:42:03.000 And I go, yo, can I get 21 minutes?
00:42:04.000 He's like, no, I can't.
00:42:06.000 I could just give you seven, eight minutes.
00:42:08.000 So I had to do like three, seven minutes in pieces together.
00:42:12.000 I went to the improv.
00:42:12.000 Can I get 21 minutes?
00:42:14.000 I went to the Laugh Factory.
00:42:15.000 Can I get 21 minutes?
00:42:16.000 I got this card.
00:42:17.000 No one would give me 21 minutes.
00:42:19.000 And so I had to go out of town.
00:42:21.000 I think I went to Chicago somewhere, taped it.
00:42:24.000 At the time, I'm writing on Everybody Hates Chris.
00:42:32.000 Dave Becky and Michael Rotenberg managed Chris Rock at the time.
00:42:39.000 And they were also producers on the show.
00:42:41.000 So they would come down.
00:42:43.000 Once a month and sit in Video Village and just, you know, and so I was politicking.
00:42:49.000 I go, man, if I can get Dave Becky to contact Kimba Rickenball, maybe I can get with Three Yards because I had no manager in Three Yards.
00:42:56.000 Sexy, you know, management name.
00:42:58.000 And so...
00:43:01.000 Ali Leroy, the showrunner, was also managed by Three Yards.
00:43:04.000 He was kind enough.
00:43:04.000 He was just like, he just did like this to Dave.
00:43:06.000 Yo, man, listen to this motherfucker. 1.00
00:43:08.000 And then just kept like shooting. 1.00
00:43:09.000 So I was like, Dave, Mr. Becky, what's up, man?
00:43:13.000 Kimba Rickenball gave me the card, said if I can give her 21 minutes, you know, it's probable I'll get a half hour special.
00:43:19.000 I was wondering if I could do that through you.
00:43:21.000 And he goes, say no more.
00:43:23.000 I rep Kimber Rickenball.
00:43:24.000 Done.
00:43:25.000 So at that time, I booked a lot of colleges.
00:43:28.000 So I am on cloud nine.
00:43:29.000 I go, yo, I'm about to get a half hour special.
00:43:33.000 I had a gig for a college.
00:43:36.000 That night.
00:43:37.000 So I catch the red eye to Iowa, right?
00:43:39.000 Ames, Iowa.
00:43:40.000 I'm performing in Ames, Iowa.
00:43:41.000 Get to the hotel room the next morning.
00:43:43.000 Phone call on my cell phone.
00:43:45.000 It's Dave, Becky.
00:43:46.000 I'm corny.
00:43:46.000 I go, this is going to be the start of us doing this a lot.
00:43:49.000 You know what I'm going to do? 1.00
00:43:51.000 He just cut that shit off. 1.00
00:43:53.000 Yeah, Owen, talk to Kimber. 1.00
00:43:55.000 And she says she never heard of you.
00:44:01.000 And I was like, what?
00:44:02.000 I thought, I was like, you hazing me, right?
00:44:05.000 Nope.
00:44:06.000 Sorry, man.
00:44:06.000 Good luck, man.
00:44:07.000 All right.
00:44:07.000 Talk to you.
00:44:07.000 Boop.
00:44:08.000 Hung up.
00:44:08.000 And I was like, what?
00:44:10.000 And it never dawned on me to call Kimber and be like, hey.
00:44:14.000 Like, I was so floored by that.
00:44:18.000 Oh, no.
00:44:19.000 Yeah, it was like a gut punch.
00:44:20.000 And then, check this out.
00:44:21.000 I show up at the college.
00:44:23.000 I was...
00:44:24.000 I didn't have a college gig.
00:44:25.000 The contract wasn't finalized.
00:44:27.000 So I flew to Iowa for nothing.
00:44:30.000 Lost money, rent a car, hotel, da-da-da. 0.99
00:44:33.000 I had to drag my dumb tail back to LA. No special on the ride. 0.99
00:44:37.000 And again, I didn't even...
00:44:39.000 You never contacted her?
00:44:40.000 I didn't even know, like...
00:44:42.000 And that's why I said I could say her name because I never did that part, right?
00:44:45.000 So, like...
00:44:46.000 Maybe I could have called him and, hey, da-da-da.
00:44:48.000 She'd be like, oh my God, so sorry.
00:44:49.000 I didn't even think that.
00:44:50.000 I went into, I was having like a pity party on the set of Everybody's Chris.
00:44:55.000 Ernest Thomas tells me, man, don't wait on Hollywood to give you permission to be great.
00:44:59.000 And that's why I shot my first special.
00:45:01.000 I took all my college money.
00:45:03.000 Did all that instead of just calling this woman like, hey, uh...
00:45:07.000 Something weird.
00:45:09.000 And so that's how I ended up shooting the first special of Anonymous.
00:45:13.000 That is so crazy.
00:45:14.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:45:14.000 She said she didn't even know you.
00:45:16.000 I never heard of him.
00:45:17.000 But meanwhile, you had her card.
00:45:19.000 Had it and didn't use it.
00:45:20.000 That's why it's not...
00:45:21.000 I don't feel like it's shade on her.
00:45:24.000 It's like I'm talking about...
00:45:30.000 Sometimes it's part of that world of not being all in in stand-up and being in that writing world.
00:45:37.000 That's Ian too. 0.99
00:45:39.000 Ian Edwards, I've been saying the same shit to him forever. 0.99
00:45:42.000 I'm like, you gotta stop taking those jobs, man. 0.99
00:45:44.000 You're too good.
00:45:45.000 You're too good.
00:45:47.000 Ian Edwards and I, we started out together, man.
00:45:50.000 I've known Ian for 20 years.
00:45:52.000 He's 27, 28 years.
00:45:54.000 I've known him forever.
00:45:56.000 Dude, forever.
00:45:58.000 Ian and I used to do Boston comedy in New York City in the village.
00:46:01.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:46:01.000 Back in the day.
00:46:03.000 Dreadlock Ian.
00:46:04.000 I remember I'd seen him on Def Jam.
00:46:06.000 Before he went vegan.
00:46:07.000 Yeah, before he went vegan, he used to yell.
00:46:09.000 He'd calm down when he went vegan.
00:46:10.000 AT&T! Angry Ian.
00:46:16.000 I remember I saw him and he was the coolest to me.
00:46:22.000 I was like, yo, man, you're a comedian.
00:46:24.000 I'm a comedian.
00:46:25.000 He was like, what you doing now?
00:46:27.000 Nothing.
00:46:27.000 Come with me.
00:46:28.000 And he took me to like a general meeting that he had.
00:46:32.000 And then we went to two sets.
00:46:34.000 And I'll never forget.
00:46:35.000 I'll never forget.
00:46:36.000 He performed in like a white room.
00:46:39.000 It was crushing.
00:46:41.000 And I said to him, hey, man, that was amazing.
00:46:45.000 It was great.
00:46:46.000 He goes, I didn't trust him. 1.00
00:46:48.000 Damn it. 0.99
00:46:50.000 Laughing way too hard. 1.00
00:46:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:46:53.000 Laughing too hard!
00:46:54.000 Yo, I never heard that before.
00:46:55.000 I never heard that before.
00:46:57.000 I was like, what?
00:46:58.000 That was a go!
00:46:59.000 You didn't trust him.
00:47:00.000 That's hilarious.
00:47:01.000 Yeah, but he was so kind to me that it's like...
00:47:07.000 Just showing that generosity in a space where he didn't have to.
00:47:10.000 He's a classic human.
00:47:13.000 I love him.
00:47:14.000 I love that dude to death.
00:47:15.000 I always take pictures of him every time he falls asleep because, you know, he's vegan.
00:47:19.000 Oh, he's tired.
00:47:20.000 So we get on a plane together.
00:47:21.000 And I don't mean there's vegans out there that are eating well.
00:47:24.000 He does not.
00:47:25.000 He just eats vegan, but that means all it is is a piece of bread.
00:47:29.000 He'll eat a piece of bread.
00:47:30.000 He'll eat some rice.
00:47:31.000 He doesn't get all his nutrients.
00:47:32.000 He just doesn't. 1.00
00:47:33.000 He doesn't exercise either, but whenever we're on a plane, that motherfucker passes out. 0.99
00:47:37.000 So I take all these pictures of him every time we go on the road together. 0.99
00:47:40.000 He's sitting next to me.
00:47:42.000 Every time he passes out, we're like, we're on the runway.
00:47:45.000 This dude is nodded out.
00:47:46.000 Always.
00:47:47.000 Then he got me.
00:47:48.000 He got me recently.
00:47:50.000 He got me.
00:47:51.000 It's just giant smile.
00:47:53.000 I've never seen him smile that well.
00:47:55.000 Do you see the video of it?
00:47:56.000 There's a video of it on Instagram.
00:47:57.000 He got me and he's just got this huge smile and I'm out cold and he's sitting next to me and now every time I fly with him I'm scared of blacking out.
00:48:07.000 I'm scared of falling asleep.
00:48:08.000 He's gonna Get a video of me.
00:48:10.000 That's hilarious.
00:48:12.000 I woke up, like he was asleep, I woke up next to me and he was asleep and I was asleep and I wonder if he filmed me while I was asleep before he went to sleep. 0.98
00:48:21.000 That's the funnest shit when it's like that. 0.99
00:48:22.000 It's like spy versus spy shit. 1.00
00:48:24.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:48:24.000 Hello, Joe. 1.00
00:48:25.000 Yeah, but dude, the video of him hovering over me while I'm out cold is one of the fun...
00:48:29.000 Oh, I gotta see it.
00:48:30.000 I never laugh so hard.
00:48:31.000 That's so funny. 0.98
00:48:32.000 I landed and I checked my Instagram and I saw that and I just started fucking howling. 0.99
00:48:37.000 Man. 0.98
00:48:38.000 It's so funny.
00:48:39.000 That's so funny.
00:48:39.000 I wish you could...
00:48:40.000 One time I was giving him smoothie recipes because he was asking about that stuff and...
00:48:47.000 Ian is like incredibly frugal.
00:48:49.000 It's so funny.
00:48:50.000 And I was like, all right, so what you want to do is you want to, you know, you take strawberry banana, you take a protein, you take, you know, da-da-da-da-da-da.
00:48:56.000 You want some green stuff.
00:48:57.000 He goes, or I could just eat a banana.
00:49:02.000 Yeah, I mean, but that's kind of like defeating the purpose.
00:49:05.000 You want to, you know, smooth.
00:49:07.000 And so I think he's doing smoothies and stuff now.
00:49:11.000 But back then, I just remember...
00:49:14.000 I was like, huh?
00:49:16.000 Like, I just gave you this whole recipe.
00:49:18.000 I could just eat a banana and it's cheaper.
00:49:21.000 You know, that was his whole thing.
00:49:22.000 Cheaper?
00:49:22.000 That's what it is?
00:49:23.000 I think that was...
00:49:24.000 I don't know, but I was just like...
00:49:25.000 He needs protein powder in his life.
00:49:26.000 He's so funny, man.
00:49:27.000 So, yeah.
00:49:29.000 So, I grew up in Prince George's County, Maryland, right?
00:49:33.000 And a lot of comedians come from there.
00:49:37.000 Chappelle.
00:49:38.000 I have a great Chappelle story because we're the same age.
00:49:42.000 So, when I was 19 and I just started Green Bell Comedy Connection, What I loved about Chappelle, I'm bringing this up because his Mark Twain Awards, he gave a shout out to a guy named Tony Woods.
00:49:58.000 So Tony Woods is also from the D.C. area.
00:50:02.000 And so at 19, I'm in this comedy club, Green Bell Comedy.
00:50:07.000 It's a black room.
00:50:08.000 Chappelle is on stage and he's getting booed.
00:50:12.000 And his dismount off getting booed is something I've never seen before in my life.
00:50:17.000 It was fantastic. 1.00
00:50:18.000 He's like, Fuck y'all. 1.00
00:50:19.000 I'm going to be famous. 1.00
00:50:21.000 I'm going to be famous!
00:50:22.000 Like, he just kept saying that and then just walked off.
00:50:25.000 And when he walked off, I was like, oh my God, they booed him?
00:50:29.000 Like, in my head, I'm like, if they booed him, I don't stand a chance in comedy because...
00:50:36.000 Like, what just happened when he walked by?
00:50:39.000 Nobody wanted to touch him because he had that bomb on him. 0.98
00:50:42.000 So even I was like, damn, hey, hey, man. 0.98
00:50:46.000 And he had that sweet bomb on him. 0.99
00:50:52.000 That bomb.
00:50:52.000 Yes.
00:50:53.000 And he sits down in the booth right here.
00:50:57.000 And I just can't stop looking at him because I'm watching.
00:51:00.000 You know how they say the stages of grief?
00:51:02.000 Like, I'm watching.
00:51:05.000 And I keep thinking, why doesn't he leave?
00:51:08.000 And he's sitting there, and Tony Woods goes on stage next. 0.90
00:51:11.000 And Tony Woods is like, wow, man, god damn, like just kind of a similar cadence. 0.90
00:51:17.000 And Tony just destroys, got a standing ovation, like, night and day. 0.99
00:51:22.000 And I'm just 19, just nude, like, absorbing this. 0.99
00:51:26.000 And I go, what the fuck just happened? 0.99
00:51:29.000 Tony walks off stage. 0.99
00:51:31.000 As a comic, I'm just kind of, like, eavesdropping. 0.90
00:51:34.000 Like, I think I'm 5'7", but I'm fucking 6'5", but I'm just trying to, like, look at what they're going to do next. 0.63
00:51:40.000 And they get up together and they walk out. 0.83
00:51:42.000 I kind of just follow them out, thinking, I don't know what's going to happen.
00:51:45.000 Hey, kid, you want to hang with us?
00:51:46.000 I don't know.
00:51:48.000 They get in the same car.
00:51:50.000 I think it was a hatchback.
00:51:52.000 I'm not sure.
00:51:53.000 And Tony drives off.
00:51:54.000 I'm like, whoa, they came together.
00:51:56.000 That was all I knew of that relationship.
00:52:01.000 And I knew that Tony had been doing it a lot longer than And I knew that Dave...
00:52:06.000 It's kind of like how when Kobe came into the league and was talking like Mike, and then Kobe leaned into who Kobe was.
00:52:15.000 He became who he is.
00:52:15.000 Yes.
00:52:16.000 I speak Italian.
00:52:17.000 I'm speaking Italian.
00:52:18.000 I speak like this.
00:52:19.000 These are the things that are important to me.
00:52:20.000 And so you watched Dave do that separate from Tony.
00:52:24.000 But what I love about what Dave did, and this is why he's great, is he recognized Tony in his greatest comedic moment.
00:52:34.000 It's the most honest thing you can do.
00:52:36.000 Most people would be like, I did this on me.
00:52:39.000 And what he said about Tony could not have been truer.
00:52:42.000 And so it just touched my heart.
00:52:44.000 Because I was there at the epicenter when I was watching Dave figure it out.
00:52:49.000 And it was probably like...
00:52:51.000 And the material he was doing, it just didn't connect with...
00:52:55.000 It was a blue-collar black crowd.
00:52:58.000 I think he was doing the superhero stuff.
00:53:00.000 Like, man, Wonder Woman's magic lasso. 1.00
00:53:03.000 I don't hear that magic lasso shit. 0.99
00:53:05.000 It was just that. 0.99
00:53:07.000 It wasn't funny.
00:53:08.000 Because to me, I'm a 19-year-old. 0.99
00:53:09.000 I thought this shit was hilarious. 0.99
00:53:11.000 So that's the other thing. 1.00
00:53:12.000 I felt like, am I wrong?
00:53:14.000 Like, I'm laughing.
00:53:15.000 And you hear boo, boo. 1.00
00:53:16.000 I was like, oh shit. 1.00
00:53:18.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:53:18.000 I was like, I can't help you, Dave! 0.99
00:53:21.000 And he came down.
00:53:25.000 And then a couple of...
00:53:26.000 I feel like six months later, I saw him on HBO or something. 0.98
00:53:29.000 So I was like, damn, he didn't let it stop him. 0.94
00:53:32.000 And so I learned all these lessons just sitting in the back of a comedy club. 0.98
00:53:37.000 Donnell Rollins, who might come in and interrupt us.
00:53:41.000 He, too, is from that area.
00:53:45.000 Oh, wow.
00:53:46.000 Yeah, man.
00:53:46.000 And I remember...
00:53:47.000 And Donnell...
00:53:49.000 You know how people talk about comedy.
00:53:51.000 When he was on stage, people were saying he spoke Korean. 0.99
00:53:54.000 I was like, God damn, who is this dude? 0.97
00:53:55.000 And he was the first comic I ever saw commanding audience. 0.99
00:53:59.000 And I thought the audience, because I was, again, 19. I had done comedy more than five times.
00:54:06.000 And I hear the audience go, do the Aspen bit!
00:54:09.000 And he would do his bit about Aspen.
00:54:10.000 That would be hilarious.
00:54:12.000 Do the bike bit!
00:54:14.000 And he would do this bit about not getting... 1.00
00:54:15.000 And I thought this motherfucker had like... 0.99
00:54:18.000 Like the audience had like requests, you know what I mean? 0.99
00:54:20.000 I was like, how great is this dude?
00:54:23.000 Like they know his work and they're requesting it.
00:54:26.000 But years later, I didn't know that those were like comics.
00:54:28.000 Like maybe...
00:54:29.000 It might have been comics or it might have been his...
00:54:31.000 But he...
00:54:33.000 Always had, like, he was just so amazing.
00:54:37.000 So I had all these references early on as, like, where you can take the art form, you know, and how fearless it was.
00:54:44.000 And then I went out to South Bend where it was just completely different.
00:54:49.000 Like, I was in college, you know.
00:54:51.000 But I had all this, like, these mental downloads of, like, of just how...
00:54:58.000 These different styles that hadn't really touched the Midwest comedy scene.
00:55:03.000 It's so funny when you're starting out, too, because you're trying to figure out what style is going to work.
00:55:08.000 Do I change?
00:55:09.000 Do I shift?
00:55:11.000 Who am I? I went through all of that.
00:55:12.000 Everybody does.
00:55:13.000 You have to.
00:55:14.000 And that's, again, bringing it back to what Notebooks is.
00:55:16.000 I want to know what your particular thing was.
00:55:20.000 I know what mine was, but all of ours is different.
00:55:23.000 But we all play the same...
00:55:26.000 It's like we play the same sport, but we all play it different ways. 1.00
00:55:29.000 And I love that shit. 1.00
00:55:32.000 So yeah, it's ironic that you bought that show up. 1.00
00:55:36.000 Because I was like, should I bring that up again?
00:55:38.000 Yeah, you should bring it up.
00:55:39.000 Yeah, I was so honored that you said you would do it too.
00:55:42.000 Oh, I was happy to do it. 0.99
00:55:42.000 When I saw those numbers, I was like, oh shit, that's hilarious. 0.99
00:55:45.000 You had the legal pad action. 0.99
00:55:46.000 It's so old too.
00:55:47.000 It's just amazing that I kept them.
00:55:49.000 Yeah, we do.
00:55:50.000 I've stacked some of them.
00:55:51.000 Yes, and I'm sure there were several times when...
00:55:54.000 You were urged to throw them away.
00:55:56.000 Yeah, my wife was trying to throw them away. 1.00
00:55:58.000 I go, no!
00:55:58.000 Yep, that's what gave me the idea.
00:56:00.000 My wife was trying to toss mine. 1.00
00:56:01.000 I go, no!
00:56:02.000 What are you talking about? 1.00
00:56:02.000 No fucking way. 1.00
00:56:04.000 Those are going to be worth something someday. 0.98
00:56:05.000 And also when I was going through them, I was always thinking, like, maybe one day I'll find a gem.
00:56:10.000 Maybe there's a gem in here.
00:56:11.000 Just a premise.
00:56:12.000 Just a weird premise.
00:56:13.000 It's in there.
00:56:14.000 It's so hard to get that.
00:56:17.000 Discipline, like, to literally go through it.
00:56:20.000 You know what I mean?
00:56:21.000 How do you write?
00:56:22.000 Do you sit in front of a computer and write?
00:56:24.000 Do you write in front of a notebook?
00:56:25.000 That's a great question.
00:56:26.000 Or do you have good ideas and you just...
00:56:28.000 Good ideas.
00:56:28.000 So what I do...
00:56:29.000 You know what I started doing?
00:56:30.000 I'm going to do a podcast, too.
00:56:32.000 It's going to be called In Context with Owen Smith.
00:56:34.000 Because what I started doing is I started reading a newspaper more. 0.96
00:56:37.000 And whenever I read the newspaper, my brain fucking explodes with a whole bunch of just... 0.98
00:56:44.000 Ideas. 0.99
00:56:44.000 Newspaper. 0.99
00:56:45.000 Yeah, a fucking newspaper. 1.00
00:56:47.000 I like holding it. 0.99
00:56:49.000 But now I'm getting myself to doing the online stuff just because it's just more practical.
00:56:57.000 Because every time I go to get the paper, it's not...
00:57:00.000 I always feel so funny when I'm holding a newspaper now, like, what is this?
00:57:03.000 What are you, Captain America?
00:57:05.000 What, are you frozen in the 50s?
00:57:07.000 What are you doing? 0.94
00:57:09.000 But I like, because you can see the words, and you can see, like, they use specific word choice, and my brain just starts going, damn, that's fine.
00:57:17.000 But my act isn't that, right?
00:57:20.000 My act is more personal, but just, Chris Rock told me something a long time ago.
00:57:26.000 He said, I don't suffer from...
00:57:30.000 What is it when you can't think of anything?
00:57:35.000 Writer's block?
00:57:35.000 Yeah, I don't suffer from writer's block.
00:57:37.000 I suffer from reader's block. 1.00
00:57:39.000 I was like, oh, shit. 1.00
00:57:42.000 And D.O. Hughley told me a long time ago, if you read the newspaper every day, that's equivalent to having a master's. 1.00
00:57:51.000 No, it's not.
00:57:51.000 Well, that's GED logic, man.
00:57:53.000 He said, But I was like, yo!
00:57:56.000 You have to write papers.
00:57:58.000 You have to do serious research.
00:58:00.000 You have to take exams.
00:58:00.000 Listen, when he said it to me, I was like, okay, you know.
00:58:04.000 But I didn't know he had his GED. There ain't no shade on D, but I was like, that stayed with me.
00:58:11.000 So I would always try to read a whole newspaper.
00:58:13.000 Depends on what paper, too.
00:58:14.000 The New York Post?
00:58:15.000 You gotta go back.
00:58:16.000 You gotta go back.
00:58:17.000 That's hilarious.
00:58:18.000 You're gonna slide back to fifth grade.
00:58:22.000 That's hilarious.
00:58:23.000 That newspaper is hilarious.
00:58:24.000 I love the New York Post.
00:58:26.000 My goodness. 0.99
00:58:26.000 Every time I read it, they're just shitting on people. 0.99
00:58:28.000 It's fantastic. 0.99
00:58:29.000 It's like, it's not a tabloid, but it is.
00:58:31.000 It is, but it's really the news.
00:58:33.000 It's the news. 1.00
00:58:33.000 But they talk shit, and it's funny. 1.00
00:58:35.000 It's funny. 1.00
00:58:36.000 New York Post, I grab that every time I'm back in New York. 1.00
00:58:38.000 It's funny shit, man. 0.99
00:58:39.000 Yeah, it was... 0.99
00:58:40.000 So I've always tried to... 0.95
00:58:44.000 But you know, shit that come to me in my sleep, conversations, and for me it's about finding what is the right... 0.97
00:58:52.000 I don't feel like there's... 0.98
00:58:54.000 I feel like where's the best place for this joke to live?
00:58:57.000 You know what I mean?
00:58:58.000 Is this a stand-up joke?
00:58:59.000 Could I get more traction out of this if it's a sketch?
00:59:02.000 You know what I mean?
00:59:04.000 Um...
00:59:04.000 And then if it is a sketch, how can I still make it sing as a stand-up joke?
00:59:09.000 And what's fun for me is if I do something and I revisit it and I can do it a lot cleaner and clearer, then I get excited because then I can play.
00:59:19.000 Because that's the other thing.
00:59:20.000 Sometimes when you write, you forget to play.
00:59:22.000 I remember, I think I saw Bill Maher or somebody like that performing.
00:59:27.000 He...
00:59:29.000 He kind of just stands there. 1.00
00:59:31.000 And so I saw him come off stage one time, and he was like, man, that fucking audience sucked. 0.99
00:59:36.000 And I was thinking in my head, I wouldn't say it to him, but I was like, man, you just forgot to play. 1.00
00:59:43.000 All your shit was fire, but... 1.00
00:59:46.000 You're not having fun. 1.00
00:59:47.000 Yeah, sometimes, you know, and so when I watch his show, when I can see he's playing, it's like, ah.
00:59:52.000 Yeah.
00:59:53.000 And so...
00:59:53.000 You forget that sometimes.
00:59:54.000 You forget that. 1.00
00:59:55.000 I mean, shit, he's up to deadlines. 0.99
00:59:57.000 He's got to do all that stuff. 0.99
00:59:58.000 But when I saw him live that day, I go, ah, he was trying to figure it out still.
01:00:02.000 So he didn't have the little...
01:00:03.000 And so it's all those little things.
01:00:06.000 And so sometimes I could be too hard on myself trying to get it, like, technically right.
01:00:11.000 And when I just remember to play... 0.99
01:00:13.000 This shit is so fun, you know what I mean? 1.00
01:00:15.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:00:15.000 It's about creating moments and you forget all of that. 1.00
01:00:18.000 But for me, I'm always trying to...
01:00:22.000 I'm always...
01:00:23.000 I don't know, man. 1.00
01:00:24.000 I'll hear shit. 1.00
01:00:25.000 I'll see shit. 1.00
01:00:26.000 I'm like, what is that? 0.99
01:00:27.000 Like, so...
01:00:29.000 Like, so right now it's Black History Month.
01:00:32.000 All this stuff about Martin Luther King.
01:00:34.000 But my head went to, yo, this dude...
01:00:37.000 The FBI bugged.
01:00:41.000 Like, they listened to all of his stuff.
01:00:42.000 And so now I'm thinking about the guys listening to MLK. Like, it couldn't all be civil rights.
01:00:48.000 Like, I wonder if he turned any of them, you know? 0.52
01:00:51.000 Like, they listening.
01:00:52.000 Like, it's got a good point.
01:00:54.000 Right, right.
01:00:55.000 Yeah, I kind of agree with you.
01:00:56.000 Or they'd be like, huh.
01:00:58.000 So that's how you make potato salad.
01:01:00.000 You know what I mean?
01:01:01.000 Like, just listening to whatever...
01:01:03.000 How many people do you think we're assigned to listen to?
01:01:05.000 I'm fascinated with that.
01:01:06.000 That's what's crazy.
01:01:07.000 And like, I wonder like...
01:01:08.000 That's a weird relationship.
01:01:08.000 It's a weird relationship.
01:01:10.000 And you're getting like...
01:01:13.000 You're getting a peek into the world of somebody you're told is this one thing, and what if you, you know, you hear something and you just don't agree?
01:01:20.000 Like, I'm fascinated with stuff like that, so I try to, like, figure out if you can make that funny.
01:01:26.000 Sure, and that's where great bits come from, and they come from that uncertainty, like, okay, where is it?
01:01:30.000 Where is it?
01:01:30.000 I know there's something in that.
01:01:32.000 Yeah.
01:01:32.000 There is something in some FBI, some square FBI dude listening to Martin Luther King.
01:01:38.000 Yeah.
01:01:38.000 He's like, oh, injustice anyway, you know, yeah.
01:01:42.000 Yeah, there's a thing that he could say that would turn him.
01:01:47.000 Yeah.
01:01:48.000 So I play with stuff like that.
01:01:51.000 One of my favorite comedians...
01:01:53.000 I have a whole bunch, but...
01:01:57.000 Comedians that always get to me are people that I didn't know comedy could do that.
01:02:01.000 So I remember when I heard Dick Gregory Owen.
01:02:04.000 It's an album called Dick Gregory Owen.
01:02:06.000 And he was the first black millionaire to do stand-up.
01:02:10.000 And he has a great book. 0.95
01:02:11.000 He has a book called Nigger.
01:02:12.000 But his best book I wouldn't say best, but my favorite book of his is called The Shadow That Scares Me.
01:02:18.000 And it's really him giving solutions to all of these problems that were in the narrative at that time about black folks.
01:02:29.000 And I was amazed at his writing, and I was blown away by his stand-up, some of the social commentary he would make.
01:02:39.000 And I was like, oh man, I want to do some of that.
01:02:43.000 So I used to, that was back in my 30s when I was trying to solve the race problem. 0.75
01:02:48.000 You know what I mean? 0.95
01:02:48.000 I was like, I ain't fucking with that no more. 0.95
01:02:50.000 Like, that's out of my system. 0.97
01:02:53.000 But I used to, because I was still in the orbit of the bring the pain, like, oh, I gotta have my.
01:02:59.000 And it just, I was like, it's not really changing the world, man.
01:03:03.000 I'm making some points.
01:03:05.000 But I kind of backed away because I used to do this bit about being at a rap concert, Busta Rhymes, and it's all white folks and I'm there and he goes, all my real niggas make some noise.
01:03:19.000 Everybody made noise.
01:03:21.000 Me and the two other black people locked eyes.
01:03:24.000 Like, yo.
01:03:28.000 There's something hilarious in that, too.
01:03:30.000 Like, are you allowed to do that?
01:03:31.000 Right, right.
01:03:32.000 You can't say it, but can you cheer?
01:03:35.000 Right.
01:03:38.000 And so then I go, maybe they didn't hear him.
01:03:41.000 But in hip-hop, you say everything twice.
01:03:43.000 So he said it again.
01:03:44.000 Like, I said, all my real niggas make some noise.
01:03:48.000 And so I was like, man, not only... 0.96
01:03:51.000 I was like, white people niggas now. 0.98
01:03:53.000 This is what I was saying. 1.00
01:03:54.000 I was doing this shit like in Milwaukee, Appleton, Wisconsin. 0.99
01:03:57.000 And I go, and not only can we call them niggas, they paying $80 for the privilege to be called niggas. 1.00
01:04:04.000 $80 a ticket. 0.97
01:04:05.000 And I go, white folks, tonight I'll call you niggas for $10. 1.00
01:04:10.000 $10 niggas sale, niggas clearance, cash only, because I know how you niggas are, right? 1.00
01:04:16.000 So proud of this bet. 0.86
01:04:18.000 At the end of the show, I'm selling my dumb DVDs, selling my merch, and inevitably, a white person will always come up to me, give me $20, and call me Nick. 0.97
01:04:27.000 Oh! 0.97
01:04:28.000 They're like, that's not the bit!
01:04:29.000 Jesus Christ.
01:04:30.000 That's not the bit!
01:04:31.000 So...
01:04:32.000 Late 20s, early 30s, you know, you're the angry comic. 1.00
01:04:36.000 Like, what the fuck? 0.99
01:04:38.000 And then, now that I'm a little older, I go, man, I'd be funny if I... Because I kept the money, you know what I mean? 0.99
01:04:44.000 Like, if that was my stick, like I didn't sell merch, look, y'all can call me whatever y'all want for $20.
01:04:50.000 Just have a line of people.
01:04:53.000 You'd be like this millionaire and you're doing interviews.
01:04:56.000 Like, well, I made my money by... 1.00
01:04:59.000 And people walking by, nigga! 1.00
01:05:00.000 And they throw you money. 0.99
01:05:02.000 Anywho.
01:05:04.000 Anywho.
01:05:04.000 Anywho.
01:05:06.000 But for me, just living in that space, man, I was just like, nah.
01:05:12.000 After I tried it, and I was getting that kind of response.
01:05:15.000 Well, there's a thing, too, where when you're a comic, you want to be respected.
01:05:19.000 So you want to come up with a bit that transcends comedy. 0.99
01:05:23.000 You want everybody to go, wow, Owen's on some real shit. 0.99
01:05:27.000 I think there's a danger in that, that you can kind of trick yourself. 0.99
01:05:33.000 I had some dumb bits that I did that were like, I was just trying to get people to think that I was really good, rather than it just being good.
01:05:39.000 Yeah, being good, being from a real personal place.
01:05:43.000 So much of it, I had this conversation with Robert Downey Jr. about acting, and something I said to him, and he said exactly, I said, isn't a lot of it just about getting out of your own way?
01:05:55.000 Because that's what a lot of it is with comedy.
01:05:57.000 I think it's with acting.
01:05:58.000 I think it's probably with music.
01:05:59.000 I think it's probably with everything.
01:06:00.000 I think so.
01:06:01.000 You've got to get out of your own way.
01:06:02.000 Because the way you look at yourself, the way you want people to look at you.
01:06:06.000 It can hold you back.
01:06:07.000 It can hold you back.
01:06:07.000 It can hold you back.
01:06:08.000 How many conversations have you ever had with a comic and they talk about how they want the respect of the industry.
01:06:15.000 They want the people to look at them. 1.00
01:06:16.000 These fucking people don't respect me. 1.00
01:06:17.000 And it's like, God damn, do you hear yourself? 1.00
01:06:20.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:06:20.000 You're wasting all this mental fuel on this nonsense. 1.00
01:06:24.000 My mother-in-law has the best saying. 1.00
01:06:26.000 My wife says it all the time. 0.88
01:06:27.000 She goes, if you worry about yourself, you'll have a busy, busy time.
01:06:33.000 If you worry about you, you'll have a busy, busy time.
01:06:37.000 Because when you hear people going off, I want them, they don't see them.
01:06:41.000 Hey man, just worry about you. 0.98
01:06:43.000 All the shit you have to do, you focus on that, you'll be busy enough. 0.98
01:06:46.000 And nothing could be truer than that when I hear comics do that. 0.99
01:06:52.000 Comics come up with a lot of excuses for why things aren't going on.
01:06:56.000 My favorite one, this is my favorite one.
01:06:58.000 They don't want white men. 1.00
01:07:01.000 They don't want white straight men. 1.00
01:07:03.000 I'm like, what in the fuck are you even talking about? 1.00
01:07:05.000 I've heard that. 1.00
01:07:06.000 And they've said that to me. 0.99
01:07:08.000 That is so fucking crazy. 0.99
01:07:10.000 I'm like, okay, man. 0.99
01:07:11.000 It's literally 90% of all comedians.
01:07:15.000 Here's one thing that is true.
01:07:17.000 There are certain networks that are trying to get people that are not white men.
01:07:24.000 That's true. 0.99
01:07:25.000 However, there's still a fucking shitload that are getting specials. 0.98
01:07:31.000 Yes! 0.99
01:07:32.000 Yes!
01:07:32.000 The idea that that's somehow an impediment.
01:07:35.000 And not really pushing the...
01:07:37.000 It just lacks so much self-awareness to say that there's a problem being a white man.
01:07:44.000 You understand? 0.84
01:07:45.000 When they say it to me, you understand?
01:07:46.000 I'll be like, what do I do with this?
01:07:51.000 It's so not self-aware.
01:07:53.000 No.
01:07:54.000 One guy came to me one time at the comedy store, and he was complaining about not being able to get on staff.
01:08:03.000 As a paid regular?
01:08:05.000 Yeah, but he wanted to be a staff as a writer.
01:08:08.000 It came out that he sold shows.
01:08:12.000 So you have a quote.
01:08:14.000 And I go, what's your quote?
01:08:17.000 And he told me his quote.
01:08:19.000 I go, do you know what a staff writer makes?
01:08:21.000 I go, you're not getting hired because you have a quote.
01:08:25.000 You know what I mean?
01:08:25.000 Like, no one's ever worked with you in the room.
01:08:27.000 Explain what that means for people to understand what that means.
01:08:30.000 Oh, so...
01:08:30.000 So, when you...
01:08:34.000 So, everything...
01:08:36.000 When you sell a television show, they give you a contract of terms in case the television show goes.
01:08:42.000 And they agree to pay you an amount per episode of the show that you sold, whether it's a variety TV show, whether it's unscripted, whatever.
01:08:52.000 All those terms are agreed in advance.
01:08:57.000 That is what's called your quote.
01:08:58.000 And that quote is specific to the studio you did the deal with.
01:09:04.000 But that quote can travel to another studio.
01:09:07.000 So if you go someplace else, they may give you the bare minimum offer and you can go, I have a quote.
01:09:15.000 If you are a staff writer...
01:09:20.000 That quote is a decent amount per episode.
01:09:24.000 But typically, if you're a staff writer, I think you get paid...
01:09:27.000 I'm going to say it's less than $6,000 a week is how the math would work out.
01:09:34.000 And so you have this thing where...
01:09:39.000 You have this quote that's probably $30,000 an episode.
01:09:43.000 I don't know what that would track a week because they amortize it over however long you're slated to work.
01:09:49.000 And as a staff writer, you're getting paid like this amount.
01:09:52.000 So no showrunner in their right mind is going to just ask you to take a pay cut from your quote.
01:09:59.000 Your people won't allow them to do that.
01:10:02.000 And no showrunner is going to hire you at that high quote if you've never been in a room before.
01:10:08.000 Like, I'm not going to pay you $30,000 an episode to learn.
01:10:13.000 You know what I mean?
01:10:14.000 So it's a lot of math missed in this complaint that you have built for yourself, which is fine.
01:10:23.000 I just don't want to hear it because I know the math.
01:10:26.000 So it's like...
01:10:27.000 I hope I did a good job.
01:10:29.000 No, that makes sense.
01:10:29.000 But it's like, yeah, man, you succeeded at selling several shows.
01:10:33.000 So that's like the lane you're in unless you come in and go, listen, I'll take a pay cut.
01:10:37.000 I want to learn.
01:10:38.000 I need to get...
01:10:39.000 If that's really what you want to do.
01:10:41.000 When I told him that, it was like...
01:10:44.000 I don't know.
01:10:45.000 You ever tell somebody like a different solution and the face they make is, I wish, you know how you take pictures of Ian's sleep?
01:10:52.000 I wish I could have pictures of like that face.
01:10:53.000 Like when a light bulb goes off?
01:10:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:10:56.000 Oh, that's what's wrong.
01:10:57.000 But the difference is, I think between successful people and people who are moderately successful is they're open to that, right?
01:11:04.000 Like you just told me put notebooks on YouTube.
01:11:07.000 Guess where it's going to be? 0.99
01:11:08.000 It's going to be on fucking YouTube. 0.99
01:11:09.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99
01:11:10.000 I'm going to do it.
01:11:12.000 I'm not going to be like, I don't know.
01:11:15.000 You actually connected what I've been thinking the whole time.
01:11:19.000 It's almost like you just...
01:11:22.000 Gave me that extra, like, incentive to, yeah, man, I'm doing this now.
01:11:26.000 So, I checked in with him.
01:11:29.000 No, he didn't, you know, do the thing.
01:11:31.000 And so I almost think, like, he needs to feel that he's being, you know... 0.99
01:11:37.000 Silly. 0.98
01:11:37.000 Yeah, yeah, stacked against, so it fuels his... 0.98
01:11:40.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:11:40.000 I go, okay, if that's your...
01:11:41.000 Yeah, he needs to feel like he's being maligned.
01:11:43.000 Yeah, yeah, if that's your thing.
01:11:45.000 Yeah.
01:11:45.000 Yeah.
01:11:46.000 That fucking Hollywood world of... 1.00
01:11:49.000 It's incredible. 1.00
01:11:50.000 It's a gross world, man.
01:11:51.000 Dude, the fact that you live here and figured out how to succeed outside of it is kind of diabolical. 0.96
01:11:58.000 It's diabolical in a lot of ways.
01:12:00.000 I'm kind of in it, but I'm kind of not.
01:12:02.000 Oh my gosh.
01:12:03.000 Yeah.
01:12:04.000 Do you still go to meetings?
01:12:07.000 No, no, no, no.
01:12:09.000 Do people come here?
01:12:09.000 No, there's no meetings.
01:12:11.000 There's no meetings.
01:12:12.000 I say no to everything.
01:12:13.000 I say no to every interview.
01:12:15.000 I say no to every meeting.
01:12:16.000 I say no to everything.
01:12:17.000 I'm not interested.
01:12:18.000 But he said yes to notebooks.
01:12:18.000 He did notebooks.
01:12:19.000 Yeah, but I said yes to that.
01:12:20.000 Anything my friends do.
01:12:22.000 That's so funny.
01:12:22.000 I'm not interested.
01:12:23.000 I don't want any meetings.
01:12:24.000 I don't want to do anything more than what I'm already doing.
01:12:26.000 Did you have this vision?
01:12:28.000 Oh, that's what I wanted to ask you.
01:12:29.000 Because I just had an audition today.
01:12:30.000 And I wanted to ask you, did you ever go for auditions?
01:12:33.000 Yes.
01:12:36.000 Did it become a thing that you set out to be great at, or was it always something that you just were like, I'm going to see where this takes me?
01:12:46.000 I'll give you the craziest story about auditions ever, as far as success stories.
01:12:52.000 I auditioned for two shows ever.
01:12:53.000 I got both of them.
01:12:55.000 The only two shows I ever auditioned for.
01:12:57.000 I auditioned for a show called Hardball that was on Fox.
01:12:59.000 It was a terrible baseball show.
01:13:01.000 I got that. 0.97
01:13:01.000 It started off really good, but the network fucked it up. 0.97
01:13:04.000 And then I auditioned for NewsRadio, and I got that.
01:13:07.000 So two shows in a row.
01:13:08.000 Did you walk me through it, though?
01:13:10.000 Did you have to go do the first audition, callback, test, and all of that?
01:13:15.000 Yeah, all that.
01:13:15.000 Okay, do you remember who else was up for it?
01:13:18.000 No, but I remember NewsRadio.
01:13:20.000 See, NewsRadio was 26, so that was only like...
01:13:25.000 Four years from when I was fighting.
01:13:27.000 Right.
01:13:27.000 So I had a different feeling of fear and anxiety than a lot of people did.
01:13:32.000 And I was in the waiting room.
01:13:34.000 There was an open call.
01:13:36.000 And the open call, it wasn't an open call, but it was like a cattle call. 0.99
01:13:38.000 There was like 50 fucking dudes waiting to get in there. 0.99
01:13:41.000 And you would read, but it was interesting. 0.99
01:13:43.000 It wasn't funny.
01:13:44.000 I was like, what is this?
01:13:45.000 But they did it on purpose.
01:13:46.000 They wanted to cut out all the corn balls. 0.90
01:13:48.000 So they gave you lines, and you had to play it straight.
01:13:52.000 Mm.
01:13:53.000 It was like me trying to figure...
01:13:54.000 I was a handyman at this radio station, so I had to figure something out.
01:13:58.000 And I was like, I don't know what's going on with it.
01:14:00.000 And they're like, but you're supposed to fix it.
01:14:02.000 Yeah, but I can't fix it, so I don't know what to do.
01:14:03.000 Like that kind of thing.
01:14:04.000 There was no punchline.
01:14:06.000 And I told my manager, I was like...
01:14:07.000 I don't know.
01:14:08.000 The pilot was really funny because I saw the pilot and there was another guy on the pilot.
01:14:11.000 Ray Romano was actually the original guy on the pilot and they fired him.
01:14:15.000 Replaced him with another guy and then they fired that guy and then they had a call to see who the next guy would be and then I went in to read for it and then the first script was not...
01:14:26.000 It was just straight.
01:14:27.000 It was weird.
01:14:28.000 So I said, I don't know what to do with it.
01:14:29.000 I said, I'm just going to do it straight.
01:14:31.000 And so then I got a call back, and then I got new sides, and the new sides were hilarious.
01:14:37.000 And then I realized, like, oh, they're trying to cut out the corn balls. 0.97
01:14:40.000 They got a bunch of wacky, you know, fucking real obvious sitcom guys. 0.98
01:14:45.000 So I went in for the second call. 0.98
01:14:47.000 And it was me and three other dudes.
01:14:48.000 And they looked like they were about to get shipped off to Vietnam.
01:14:51.000 They were white, pale, sweaty.
01:14:53.000 Everyone was nervous.
01:14:54.000 And I remember I looked at them and go, oh, I got this.
01:14:57.000 And I sat down and I plopped my feet up on the couch.
01:15:00.000 And I just kicked back and relaxed.
01:15:03.000 I relaxed.
01:15:04.000 I felt good. 0.99
01:15:05.000 I was like, how nervous you fucks are. 0.99
01:15:07.000 Are you guys going to go in there and choke? 0.99
01:15:10.000 So I just went in there and did it.
01:15:11.000 But also the thing for me is...
01:15:13.000 I never wanted to be an actor.
01:15:15.000 I just did it for the money.
01:15:17.000 When I got an audition for Hardball, it was because Disney gave me a bunch of money for a development deal because I did stand-up on MTV. So I did the MTV half-hour comedy hour, and then MTV, they offered me the most ridiculous deal ever.
01:15:30.000 It was like $500 to do a pilot, and then if they decide to do it, even if they decide to shoot it and never film it, they have you locked up exclusively for two years.
01:15:42.000 It was so ridiculous.
01:15:43.000 It was because they had made celebrities with Dennis Leary. 0.68
01:15:47.000 Dennis Leary had become famous from MTV and then he left.
01:15:49.000 So they're like, we're going to keep people here now.
01:15:52.000 If we make someone a star, we're going to keep them.
01:15:54.000 So they offered the most ridiculously lowball deal of all time.
01:15:58.000 So I said no to that.
01:16:00.000 We said no to that.
01:16:01.000 And then my manager sent my tape out and said, hey, this guy is about to sign this deal with someone.
01:16:09.000 If you guys are interested, do it now.
01:16:11.000 I think he might have said MTV. So then we got all these offers.
01:16:15.000 And so I couldn't answer my phone.
01:16:16.000 They told me, don't answer my phone.
01:16:17.000 Just go to the pool hall.
01:16:18.000 Stop answering your phone.
01:16:19.000 Because people were calling me at home.
01:16:21.000 And this is back in the day.
01:16:23.000 I didn't have a cell phone.
01:16:24.000 Yeah.
01:16:24.000 So then two weeks later, I'm in Hollywood having meetings.
01:16:29.000 And then a month later...
01:16:30.000 Oh, you were in Boston?
01:16:31.000 Yeah, I was in New York.
01:16:32.000 Oh, okay.
01:16:33.000 And then a month later, I'm living there.
01:16:35.000 A month later.
01:16:36.000 Great.
01:16:36.000 I'm out in Hollywood with Jim Brewer.
01:16:39.000 Jim Brewer was on the show with me and the pilot.
01:16:41.000 He was the opposing mascot.
01:16:43.000 He was hilarious.
01:16:44.000 So me and Jim were buddies from back in the day, so we're all hanging out.
01:16:48.000 And then, you know, that show got picked up.
01:16:50.000 I did like six episodes of that show.
01:16:52.000 It got canceled.
01:16:54.000 I'm just hanging out at the store every night, and then I'm ready to go back home to New York, but I had already signed a lease. 0.98
01:16:59.000 So I had this fucking apartment for a year, and I couldn't get out of it. 0.99
01:17:02.000 So I'm like, God damn. 0.99
01:17:04.000 And then I got a development deal with NBC based on the hardball show. 0.98
01:17:08.000 And so they said, hey, before we talk to you about doing your own show, we'd like you to look at this pilot and see if you'd be interested in it.
01:17:15.000 And it's Dave Foley and Phil Hartman and Andy Dick. 0.96
01:17:19.000 And I'm like, holy shit! 0.99
01:17:20.000 I'm like, really? 0.99
01:17:22.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm interested in this.
01:17:24.000 And then I came in and read for it, and next thing you know, I had it.
01:17:27.000 Next thing you know, I'm on TV. I've been doing acting for like a couple of months, and I'm sitting at a table next to Phil Hartman.
01:17:33.000 I'm like, this is crazy. 0.99
01:17:35.000 Like, this is fucking crazy. 0.99
01:17:36.000 And all these different people that were on the show. 0.99
01:17:39.000 It was fascinating, man.
01:17:41.000 It was fascinating, because it's not something I ever wanted.
01:17:44.000 I was not interested in it at all.
01:17:46.000 But all of a sudden it was happening.
01:17:47.000 I was like, huh.
01:17:48.000 But that's part of probably why I was able to do it.
01:17:51.000 Because it wasn't like this dream that was paralyzing me with anticipation and anxiety.
01:17:56.000 When I walked in that second audition, I saw those dudes sweating. 0.99
01:17:59.000 I was like, look at you nervous fucks. 0.98
01:18:01.000 It brought me back to fighting. 0.98
01:18:02.000 Because fighting, I used to love seeing how nervous people were before fights.
01:18:07.000 And I would take naps.
01:18:08.000 I would lay down on the ground, like in the bleachers.
01:18:11.000 Because just to let everybody know, I'm just going to go sleep.
01:18:14.000 You guys are all nervous.
01:18:15.000 I'm just going to take a nap.
01:18:17.000 Because you're playing psychological games.
01:18:20.000 When I would knock guys out, I'd walk away like it was normal.
01:18:22.000 Even though I was freaked out.
01:18:24.000 Like, whoa, that dude's unconscious.
01:18:25.000 I would just walk around like, that's what I do, dude. 1.00
01:18:27.000 I do that shit every day. 1.00
01:18:28.000 I'm going to do it to you, too. 1.00
01:18:30.000 And so when I was in that room getting ready to go in and read, I had the same feeling.
01:18:35.000 Oh, you guys are nervous.
01:18:38.000 Get your feet up! 1.00
01:18:39.000 What a asshole! 1.00
01:18:40.000 I was like this, like, oh, I got this. 1.00
01:18:42.000 You're that guy.
01:18:43.000 Well, also, I was the only comic.
01:18:45.000 Yeah.
01:18:45.000 Those guys weren't comics.
01:18:46.000 They weren't used to performing live and all that.
01:18:48.000 That's a giant advantage.
01:18:50.000 I love that.
01:18:50.000 Like, when I would audition and, like, a really good-looking guy would walk in, I'd be like, he ain't funny.
01:18:58.000 Seriously, I would have no fear.
01:19:00.000 I'm like, yeah, whatever.
01:19:01.000 This is a comedy.
01:19:03.000 Good luck, man.
01:19:05.000 I have no fear.
01:19:07.000 You know what I mean?
01:19:08.000 It's too hard to be good looking and funny.
01:19:10.000 It doesn't really work out very often.
01:19:11.000 Come on, man.
01:19:12.000 You ain't going to be funnier than me.
01:19:13.000 Let's do it.
01:19:13.000 The reason I did Fear Factor is because I didn't want to work with actors anymore.
01:19:17.000 Amazing.
01:19:17.000 When that came up, I was like...
01:19:19.000 Because I had auditioned for one or two sitcoms that I didn't get after Fear Factor.
01:19:25.000 But it also was a thing where I was like, man, I need to make some money.
01:19:28.000 I'm not making as much money doing stand-up, and I was used to making TV money, and I had development deals, and they didn't go.
01:19:34.000 And then I auditioned for a couple shows, and that didn't happen.
01:19:36.000 And then...
01:19:38.000 I guess it was like two years because Fear Factor, yeah, 2000, 2001. Fear Factor was 2001 and news radio ended in 99. And it was an opportunity to do something with no actors.
01:19:52.000 I was like, fuck yeah, I'm in. 0.95
01:19:54.000 Because the audition process is even weirder. 0.99
01:19:57.000 You're dealing with all these mind games that people are playing in the waiting room.
01:20:01.000 It's like, ugh, you people are so strange.
01:20:04.000 They're the strangest people because their life is centered around getting people to like them for auditions, right?
01:20:10.000 So they're always trying to pretend they're exactly what these casting people want in terms of their Their political beliefs, the way they talk, the way they act.
01:20:21.000 There's nothing weirder than being around unsuccessful actors.
01:20:25.000 Ones that are trying to make it.
01:20:27.000 Once they're successful, if you're talking to Robert Downey Jr., he's a regular dude, man. 0.99
01:20:32.000 He's a regular dude, but he's famous as fuck and super successful. 0.96
01:20:36.000 And there's a lot of those guys like that. 0.97
01:20:38.000 Yeah, you know what I equate that to?
01:20:40.000 When I first moved out here... 1.00
01:20:44.000 Before you get on the lot and you're competing with everyone, then that's when you hear people in Hollywood are shady, people are full of shit, you can't trust. 0.99
01:20:54.000 Because we all were basically unemployed Right. 0.99
01:20:58.000 Competing for the same.
01:20:59.000 Yeah, man, I'm going to meet you.
01:21:00.000 I'm going to meet you.
01:21:00.000 Hey, none of us got jobs.
01:21:01.000 We all talking.
01:21:03.000 Right.
01:21:03.000 But once I got my first gig, I met a different character of people.
01:21:08.000 Oh, these people are nice.
01:21:09.000 Oh, because they working.
01:21:11.000 You know what I mean?
01:21:13.000 Yes.
01:21:14.000 And so it is something about people who figured out Yeah.
01:21:35.000 AAU, where I loved playing.
01:21:39.000 I wanted to be a globetrotter.
01:21:40.000 I know how to do all the tricks and all that stuff.
01:21:42.000 I love having fun.
01:21:44.000 And when you start getting, when I started looking at colleges and getting recruited, it's becoming a business.
01:21:52.000 And I wasn't ready for that.
01:21:55.000 And I literally liked having fun playing basketball.
01:21:59.000 And I would be playing at some tournaments with some kids. 0.99
01:22:03.000 And I'm like, damn, you got a kid? 1.00
01:22:06.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:22:06.000 You playing for your family. 1.00
01:22:08.000 You know what I mean?
01:22:09.000 And I'm up there like...
01:22:10.000 Just having a good time.
01:22:11.000 Just having a good time.
01:22:12.000 And it was serious for them.
01:22:14.000 And so, you know, just like...
01:22:17.000 So when I came out here, I fell into the commercial world.
01:22:22.000 I started booking commercials a lot.
01:22:23.000 And I still do if I go out.
01:22:26.000 My wife was like, you should go back out for commercials again. 1.00
01:22:28.000 Because I had that same mindset where...
01:22:32.000 Alright, man.
01:22:34.000 As a comic, I get it.
01:22:35.000 I get the joke.
01:22:36.000 I know how to, like, you know, nail it.
01:22:39.000 I've booked pilots.
01:22:41.000 But then, like, because I write, too, I could see, like, all the rewriting happening on set.
01:22:46.000 And I could tell if it was going to go or not.
01:22:48.000 Because they always...
01:22:49.000 Lately, they've been trying to cuten everything up.
01:22:51.000 And I go, I get it.
01:22:53.000 But in the 12th hour, when you guys are deciding what, you know, the cute show's not going to make it.
01:22:59.000 What do you mean by cuten everything up?
01:23:02.000 We're, we're like, so I was, before we walked in, I was like, did you watch Curb last, um, last night?
01:23:08.000 I did a funny thing about a handicap placard, right?
01:23:11.000 And so, um, and it just spoke to, everybody wants one of those things.
01:23:15.000 It's, hey man, you got a handicap, you know, and they did a montage of all the stitch you would do if you had a handicap placard.
01:23:21.000 Um.
01:23:23.000 That might be in the pilot at first and you'd be howling.
01:23:26.000 And then as you're shooting it, man, the handicap thing is coming off a little mean. 0.50
01:23:29.000 What if we make it?
01:23:31.000 Oh, I see.
01:23:32.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
01:23:33.000 And then they button it up to where it's not as gratifying because you're laughing at just the primal nature of, yeah, man, I would do the same shit. 0.99
01:23:40.000 I'm rocking with this show. 0.98
01:23:42.000 And then they cuten it up.
01:23:43.000 They're worried about the repercussions.
01:23:44.000 Yeah.
01:23:45.000 They take the edge off it.
01:23:47.000 Yeah.
01:23:48.000 So when you watch it, Back and you go, we got this show and we got this show.
01:23:52.000 I don't really know anybody in this show.
01:23:54.000 This guy's a known face.
01:23:55.000 They're both cute.
01:23:56.000 Put the known face out.
01:23:58.000 But again, I am literally armchair quarterbacking.
01:24:01.000 It could be a series of things.
01:24:04.000 It's rare that someone does it right.
01:24:06.000 That's what's interesting with new shows.
01:24:09.000 It's not like there's a lot of people that are doing it right and there's a lot of great new shows.
01:24:15.000 What do you think is the next thing though?
01:24:17.000 I think, first of all, streaming services have changed the whole game.
01:24:21.000 Things like Stranger Things.
01:24:23.000 Yes.
01:24:24.000 Those kind of shows.
01:24:25.000 Now there's a new show on HBO that I'm addicted to called The Outsider.
01:24:28.000 Is that good? 1.00
01:24:29.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
01:24:30.000 Yeah? 1.00
01:24:30.000 It's fucking good. 1.00
01:24:31.000 It's fucking good. 0.99
01:24:32.000 It's terrifying. 0.99
01:24:33.000 It's very good.
01:24:34.000 It grabs me, because I watch Curb, and I'll see the last two minutes. 0.99
01:24:37.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99
01:24:38.000 The last two minutes I see, I'm like, yo! 1.00
01:24:41.000 It's Jason Bateman. 0.99
01:24:42.000 Jason Bateman knows his shit, because Ozark's amazing. 0.99
01:24:45.000 Those kind of shows, they're so off the charts in terms of what you could get away with on network television. 0.99
01:24:52.000 Network television is just so hampered.
01:24:54.000 They're so confined.
01:24:56.000 They have shackles.
01:24:58.000 They just can't do anything wild, anything outside the norm.
01:25:03.000 They can't take any chance.
01:25:05.000 Spoiler alert, on The Outsider, you see a dead kid like 30 seconds into the first episode.
01:25:11.000 Yeah, you can never do that.
01:25:12.000 Not just dead, but mauled.
01:25:14.000 I mean, it's horrible.
01:25:16.000 It's a stunning visual. 0.99
01:25:18.000 And if you can't handle that, it's not something you see a lot throughout the whole show, but it's enough to fuck you up. 0.88
01:25:25.000 They'll let you know, like, hey, this is not CBS. This is chaos. 0.97
01:25:30.000 This is as realistic a horror show as you're going to get.
01:25:34.000 It's interesting.
01:25:35.000 When I watch...
01:25:37.000 Yeah.
01:25:39.000 Everything is like a different palette, right?
01:25:42.000 Yeah.
01:25:43.000 If a network show is clicking, I can get how people would fall in love with the romance of that.
01:25:52.000 Like, oh, this is good.
01:25:53.000 This is a good show.
01:25:54.000 But the...
01:25:56.000 But the process, the creative process, coming from a stand-up brain.
01:26:01.000 You know, I'm a stand-up first.
01:26:03.000 It's very collaborative.
01:26:06.000 And it is, like you say, it's collaborative with a lot of people who, at certain stages, you're like, ah...
01:26:17.000 I'm just going through it.
01:26:19.000 So I'm being very diplomatic and I go, okay, why do you have this job?
01:26:24.000 What do you do?
01:26:25.000 And it's also like, how do we talk to one another?
01:26:29.000 Because I know what I'm thinking.
01:26:32.000 So I'm using it as, and I think because I'm a parent now, so I'm in this space of just trying to figure out Yeah. 0.99
01:26:42.000 Because 26-year-old me would have been like, man, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00
01:26:45.000 Or just been like, this is stupid. 1.00
01:26:47.000 But I'm in this space right now where I'm like, okay, I know I don't like how you're talking to me right now. 0.99
01:26:53.000 I don't even understand it.
01:26:55.000 But I think I need to try to figure it out.
01:26:58.000 And, you know...
01:27:01.000 It's interesting.
01:27:03.000 Yeah, working with people can be rewarding.
01:27:05.000 You definitely learn about communication.
01:27:08.000 Yeah.
01:27:08.000 The problem is it's never as good as your stand-up.
01:27:12.000 No!
01:27:12.000 No!
01:27:13.000 Yeah, that's real.
01:27:15.000 The problem is you are already a great stand-up.
01:27:18.000 I know, and it's like I'm trying to create a life over here.
01:27:21.000 But it's the attraction of the business.
01:27:24.000 The business pulls you in.
01:27:25.000 The business offers you money.
01:27:26.000 The business offers you security.
01:27:28.000 It's true.
01:27:28.000 They don't make money off your stand-up in this town.
01:27:30.000 No. 1.00
01:27:32.000 Unless it's a fucking booking agency, they don't make shit off of it. 1.00
01:27:35.000 The business offers you this stability. 1.00
01:27:37.000 You're going to go to CBS Radford.
01:27:40.000 You're going to pull in every day.
01:27:41.000 Hi, I'm Owen Smith.
01:27:43.000 I'm working on the blah, blah, blah.
01:27:45.000 You go in there, you got your parking spot.
01:27:47.000 Woo! 0.99
01:27:48.000 I did it, man.
01:27:49.000 I did it for years and years and years.
01:27:51.000 I did it for five years on news radio.
01:27:54.000 It's attractive.
01:27:55.000 People love it.
01:27:56.000 You did it already.
01:27:59.000 I've done both things.
01:28:02.000 I did two shows that went to syndication.
01:28:04.000 I did news radio that went to syndication, and then I did Fear Factor that did syndication.
01:28:09.000 I get offers all the time to do stuff on TV. I don't want to have anything to do with it.
01:28:13.000 How did you and Stephen A, what happened?
01:28:16.000 I meant to ask you that.
01:28:18.000 Both talking about boxing.
01:28:19.000 That was like an amazing thing to watch.
01:28:21.000 MMA. That was an amazing thing to watch.
01:28:23.000 He's a generalist.
01:28:25.000 Yes, and you were very specific.
01:28:27.000 But how...
01:28:29.000 Why was that...
01:28:30.000 Why were they together?
01:28:31.000 Yeah.
01:28:31.000 Because they were trying to...
01:28:32.000 He's a very popular guy.
01:28:34.000 Okay.
01:28:34.000 And, you know, there was a big event.
01:28:36.000 Conor McGregor's fighting Cowboy Cerrone.
01:28:38.000 And then ESPN... Obviously, it's on ESPN+. I got it.
01:28:41.000 Okay.
01:28:42.000 So he's an ESPN star.
01:28:44.000 I was like, what happened?
01:28:45.000 Because I just saw a clip on YouTube.
01:28:46.000 And I go, what happened?
01:28:48.000 Yeah.
01:28:48.000 And...
01:28:50.000 It was clearly that.
01:28:51.000 I felt like I was watching an open-miker and a headliner both have a take on the topic.
01:28:58.000 It's not a good place.
01:29:04.000 If you're coming at martial arts, especially MMA, you have to have a deep understanding of the sport.
01:29:12.000 You can't just have a peripheral knowledge and communicate with someone like me.
01:29:16.000 I've been doing this a long time.
01:29:18.000 I've been working for the UFC since 1997. And I've been involved in martial arts since I was 14, 15 years old.
01:29:25.000 So this is not casual to me.
01:29:28.000 I'm balls deep in it.
01:29:30.000 And I'm also very, very respectful.
01:29:33.000 Very respectful to the fighters.
01:29:35.000 Very, very understanding of what's going on.
01:29:37.000 And I look at it in a very comprehensive way.
01:29:39.000 His whole thing is making controversy. 1.00
01:29:42.000 You know, his whole thing is he's a great shit talker. 1.00
01:29:45.000 He's great at shitting on people. 1.00
01:29:47.000 He's great at mocking people's performances. 0.99
01:29:49.000 He's just a powerful communicator and an entertainer.
01:29:54.000 The problem is you carry that over to MMA, man.
01:29:56.000 Those fans are not having that.
01:29:57.000 Right, that's right, yeah.
01:29:58.000 They turn on him like wolves.
01:30:00.000 Yeah.
01:30:01.000 Yeah.
01:30:02.000 I didn't say anything mean, man. 1.00
01:30:04.000 I could have said some way, way, way meaner shit. 0.99
01:30:08.000 That's why I was watching. 1.00
01:30:09.000 I was like, oh shit, this is crazy. 0.99
01:30:12.000 Yeah, I don't have anything against that guy. 0.99
01:30:13.000 I like him.
01:30:13.000 I think he's entertaining.
01:30:15.000 But it's just, you can't say cowboy quit.
01:30:18.000 He got his face smashed in. 0.71
01:30:20.000 He got head kicked.
01:30:21.000 I mean, he just doesn't understand what went down.
01:30:23.000 You can't say Connor didn't show you anything.
01:30:25.000 He just ran right through a top welterweight in 40 seconds.
01:30:28.000 He's a beast.
01:30:30.000 I understand what he's trying to do.
01:30:32.000 He's trying to apply the same sort of way of talking about sports that he talks about maybe if it's a basketball game or maybe it's something else.
01:30:39.000 He's trying to apply that to MMA. It's a different thing.
01:30:42.000 It's a different thing.
01:30:44.000 There's no knockdowns. 1.00
01:30:45.000 You get knocked down, the guy gets on top of you and punches your fucking face in. 1.00
01:30:48.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
01:30:48.000 It's not like boxing. 1.00
01:30:50.000 It is as raw as a sport ever gets.
01:30:54.000 You're not even wearing shoes.
01:30:57.000 You know?
01:30:57.000 Your fingers are exposed.
01:30:59.000 You got pads on your knuckles.
01:31:01.000 You're allowed to elbow someone in the eyeball. 1.00
01:31:03.000 You're allowed to kick them in the fucking face with your shin. 1.00
01:31:07.000 Your shin bone slamming into someone's nose. 1.00
01:31:10.000 That happens all the time.
01:31:12.000 That's normal.
01:31:13.000 That's a normal day at the office.
01:31:15.000 It's a crazy sport, man.
01:31:17.000 So for that sport, you have to be super respectful and appreciative of what's going on because those guys are putting their health on the line in a big, big, big way.
01:31:25.000 And those girls, too. 0.99
01:31:27.000 Those girls fuck each other up, man. 1.00
01:31:29.000 It's rough to watch. 1.00
01:31:31.000 That was one of the hardest things for me to get over, watching girls get fucked up. 1.00
01:31:35.000 Because you don't think about that, right? 0.99
01:31:37.000 I mean, I saw that in the Taekwondo days.
01:31:39.000 I definitely saw girls get KO'd. 1.00
01:31:41.000 But it wasn't as normal.
01:31:44.000 In MMA, you see girls get just smashed, man. 1.00
01:31:49.000 You see them get smashed. 0.85
01:31:50.000 Like girls that fight Amanda Nunes, she just beats the fuck out of them. 1.00
01:31:54.000 Yeah. 0.92
01:31:55.000 Woo! 0.99
01:31:56.000 Man.
01:31:57.000 It's a crazy sport, man.
01:31:58.000 But I don't have anything against Stephen A. I like him.
01:32:00.000 That's not why I brought it up.
01:32:01.000 We were talking about TV and the interesting ideas that come from a different place.
01:32:06.000 What if we take Joe and put him in?
01:32:08.000 Even in that world, I don't want to be involved in that world.
01:32:10.000 If ESPN wanted to give me a job, I'd be like, nope, not interested.
01:32:13.000 I don't want to have anything to do with that.
01:32:16.000 We did this Fight Companion podcast on Saturday during the day.
01:32:20.000 The fights were from New Zealand, the UFC fights before the Ties and Fury fight.
01:32:23.000 Deontay Wilder fight.
01:32:25.000 And we were talking about it, and my friend Eddie was like, how come they don't do something like this on TV? I'm like, they couldn't.
01:32:31.000 There's no way.
01:32:32.000 We're drinking.
01:32:33.000 We have whiskey.
01:32:34.000 We're smoking weed. 1.00
01:32:35.000 We're talking crazy shit. 1.00
01:32:36.000 You know, Brendan Shaw, every girl, this bitch's ass, and this and that. 1.00
01:32:40.000 Everyone's talking crazy. 1.00
01:32:42.000 They're talking like guys normally talk.
01:32:44.000 We're sitting around, but we're doing it over the internet.
01:32:46.000 Yeah.
01:32:47.000 But it gets millions of views.
01:32:48.000 So it's one of those things where if a network had a show like that, they'd be like, this is a hit!
01:32:54.000 It's a giant hit!
01:32:55.000 For a sports show to get way more views than the actual show it's watching.
01:33:02.000 So it's a fight companion.
01:33:04.000 We're watching the fights.
01:33:05.000 And we're talking about the fights, but that gets more than twice as many views as the actual fights itself, which is kind of crazy.
01:33:12.000 That's very crazy.
01:33:13.000 But the only way that happens is if no executive, none of those half-in, half-out people we were talking about before that really could work at the Discovery Channel or the History Channel.
01:33:22.000 They're trying to cuten things up, trying to take the edge off. 0.98
01:33:24.000 Look, guys, we're going to cut that segment around when you're talking about those girls' asses. 1.00
01:33:27.000 It's just kind of disrespectful. 0.99
01:33:29.000 And, you know, I've got kids of my own, and I've got daughters. 1.00
01:33:31.000 Like, get the fuck out of here! 0.99
01:33:33.000 Like, you know, if we had a producer in here, some network schlub. 0.99
01:33:37.000 Oh, that's it right there.
01:33:38.000 Oh, my gosh.
01:33:39.000 Giving us notes at the end of every show.
01:33:41.000 Oh, my gosh.
01:33:42.000 You couldn't do it.
01:33:43.000 Yeah.
01:33:43.000 When I worked on late night talk shows, the whole narrative of freedom of speech was in the air.
01:33:51.000 And whenever we would write something, it all had to be legally approved.
01:33:55.000 Like, that's the first time I saw that.
01:33:56.000 A lawyer would come, hey, guys.
01:33:57.000 And he'd be like, you guys can't say, you know.
01:34:02.000 All right, man.
01:34:03.000 Sorry.
01:34:03.000 You know, we'd figure out, you know, fun ways.
01:34:06.000 And then you'd go out in the world and people are like, freedom of speech, man. 0.99
01:34:10.000 This shit is all legally approved, man. 0.99
01:34:13.000 What you're seeing in this space is... 0.99
01:34:17.000 It's not, like you said, but when you guys can just say whatever you want to say.
01:34:22.000 The key is to narrow it down to as few voices as possible that have control, like this.
01:34:26.000 This is just you and me, and Jamie's hanging out.
01:34:29.000 This is a three-man crew that reaches millions and millions of people.
01:34:33.000 That's insane.
01:34:34.000 That's insane.
01:34:35.000 That's never happened before.
01:34:36.000 But that's the only reason why it works.
01:34:37.000 Yeah.
01:34:38.000 Because you don't have any... 1.00
01:34:39.000 My sensibilities are all fucked up. 1.00
01:34:41.000 They're not normal. 0.99
01:34:42.000 What I think is okay, in terms of drugs and violence and all the different things that I enjoy...
01:34:48.000 I mean, I'm a hunter.
01:34:50.000 I bow hunt animals.
01:34:52.000 That's what I eat.
01:34:53.000 I smoke pot all the time.
01:34:56.000 I'm always swearing.
01:34:57.000 I don't believe in any of these things.
01:35:01.000 I just think that when you're...
01:35:04.000 When you're putting together a show, there's no way you would ever let a person like me be responsible for the job of promoting something, being the captain of a show, where you've got all these executives and their jobs are on the line,
01:35:20.000 and you're going to have some loose cannon like me, who's a wild stand-up comic?
01:35:26.000 Everything I've done has been wild.
01:35:28.000 From the beginning, from fighting to getting the stand-up.
01:35:31.000 All it's wild.
01:35:32.000 It's wild stuff.
01:35:33.000 I like when it's chaos.
01:35:36.000 That's what I enjoy.
01:35:37.000 But there's no way you could ever have a network approve something like this. 0.99
01:35:40.000 There's no way the language, saying cunt, saying whatever the fuck you want to say, talking about things in an honest way, talking about what's bullshit, about life, about politics, about the state of the way human beings communicate with each other. 0.99
01:35:55.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:35:55.000 You gotta boil it down to just a couple of people. 0.99
01:35:58.000 When you boil it down, especially guys like you and me who are comics, who can talk real about stuff, who aren't scared of saying their flaws, aren't scared of saying where they fucked up and how, you know, those are some of my favorite conversations are when you talk about the shit you fucked up when you were young and dumb. 1.00
01:36:15.000 It's fun. 0.99
01:36:16.000 People hide from that stuff, man.
01:36:17.000 They don't like it.
01:36:18.000 They don't like to feel like they're inadequate or they always like to feel like they were always good.
01:36:24.000 Like, that's all nonsense.
01:36:26.000 This kind of thing where you're doing a podcast, this is, I think, this is the future of all those talk shows.
01:36:33.000 Those talk shows are dwindling.
01:36:35.000 They are like flowers in the desert, man.
01:36:38.000 They're not getting enough water.
01:36:39.000 There's no one watching.
01:36:41.000 If you look at the numbers, like Conan's show, it's horrible.
01:36:44.000 And, you know, he's a legend. 1.00
01:36:46.000 And all these guys are legends, but no one's watching that shit anymore. 0.99
01:36:49.000 Because you could watch this or any other podcast. 0.99
01:36:52.000 There's something like 900,000 of them.
01:36:55.000 Oh, wow.
01:36:55.000 And you could watch them or listen to them anytime you want.
01:36:59.000 You could stop it when you have to take a shit. 1.00
01:37:00.000 You can come back. 0.99
01:37:01.000 You know, you don't have to wait for it to come on.
01:37:03.000 None of that nonsense.
01:37:05.000 You could listen in your car.
01:37:06.000 You could watch it on your computer.
01:37:09.000 This is...
01:37:10.000 And people are being real.
01:37:12.000 This is a different world now.
01:37:15.000 With the internet, there's too much real information for you to get spoon-fed nonsense on television.
01:37:22.000 When I watch those CBS shows, those crime shows, I'm like, old people are watching this, right? 1.00
01:37:27.000 Old people and people that have chemicals at work and they come home drunk. 0.99
01:37:31.000 You know what I mean?
01:37:32.000 There's something in the air.
01:37:34.000 They just want to sit and have something mindless spoon-fed to them.
01:37:39.000 Those network shows, that's what keeps those things alive. 0.79
01:37:42.000 Those things are so watered down and so nonsense.
01:37:46.000 They're not real life.
01:37:48.000 I wanted to tell you, I got beef with Malcolm Gladwell.
01:37:52.000 Really?
01:37:53.000 You spoke to him.
01:37:54.000 Yes.
01:37:54.000 You need to connect us.
01:37:56.000 What do you have beef with him about?
01:37:58.000 I love him, right?
01:37:59.000 Okay.
01:37:59.000 You listen to his stuff all the time.
01:38:02.000 And then he did something with some guy.
01:38:04.000 I think he was a little tipsy.
01:38:06.000 But he was talking about how he could do stand-up.
01:38:08.000 Doing stand-up is easy.
01:38:10.000 He really said that?
01:38:10.000 He really said it.
01:38:11.000 I wanted to send you the clip.
01:38:12.000 Oh.
01:38:12.000 And I just wanted to be like, Malcolm, come on, fam.
01:38:15.000 He said that?
01:38:16.000 Yeah!
01:38:16.000 Or something!
01:38:17.000 I have to find it.
01:38:18.000 He was like, doing stand-up is nothing but...
01:38:20.000 And he intellectualized it.
01:38:21.000 It's a certain set of thing in the room with people drinking.
01:38:24.000 And he tried to like...
01:38:25.000 And I want him to feel it.
01:38:26.000 I want him to... 1.00
01:38:28.000 That's like a guy who watches a fight and thinks, oh, fuck that dude up. 1.00
01:38:31.000 Yes! 1.00
01:38:31.000 And when he said that, I was like, Malcolm, you! 1.00
01:38:33.000 Come on, Malcolm!
01:38:34.000 Come on, man!
01:38:36.000 And it's like, I couldn't watch him anymore.
01:38:38.000 I was like so angry.
01:38:40.000 And I watched a few clips of him here and I was like, man, I miss Malcolm.
01:38:44.000 But he needs to know, you can't be If he really said that, he just doesn't understand what it is.
01:38:50.000 He might just not understand what it is.
01:38:52.000 I want him to take him to a black room.
01:38:56.000 I want him to go and stay the realest room.
01:38:59.000 You know what I mean?
01:38:59.000 Go do your thing, man.
01:39:01.000 Go do your nonsense. 0.98
01:39:02.000 I just want to see it. 1.00
01:39:03.000 Just see him bomb. 0.76
01:39:04.000 Just feel it.
01:39:05.000 Just crackle.
01:39:06.000 Feel the heat coming off his body.
01:39:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:39:11.000 Yes.
01:39:12.000 You can't.
01:39:13.000 And to me, it was like, man, you wrote a book about 10,000 hours, and you're sitting there going, I can do this.
01:39:18.000 It's like, come on, man.
01:39:19.000 Don't do that.
01:39:20.000 It seems like, but this is what I've been saying about stand-up for a while, is that if you talk to someone, a lot of people have been funny in their life.
01:39:28.000 Most people have said something funny.
01:39:29.000 Of course.
01:39:29.000 And everyone can talk.
01:39:30.000 Yes.
01:39:31.000 So all you're doing up there is talking, and you say something funny.
01:39:34.000 It seems like I can do it.
01:39:35.000 Yeah, but you're talking and saying something funny to people who know you and love you and know your quirks and your tics and all that stuff.
01:39:42.000 You're in front of strangers who may or may not be in that audience.
01:39:47.000 Well, that's the difference, Gene.
01:39:49.000 I don't know if you've ever seen this, but there's a lot of people that are maybe podcasters or they do other things and then they're doing stand-up occasionally in front of their crowd.
01:39:58.000 Yes.
01:39:59.000 And they think...
01:40:00.000 I think they're doing good stand-up, but then they'll go on in the store, and they'll get sandwiched into a lineup in the OR of murderers, and then it's ugly.
01:40:10.000 It gets ugly, because reality sets in.
01:40:14.000 Because if they're all there to see you, and they're all your fans, and they paid money to hear you talk, they just want to see you.
01:40:20.000 Like, hey, there's the guy from the show!
01:40:22.000 Yes!
01:40:23.000 Yay! 0.99
01:40:24.000 And they've probably never been in the comedy club.
01:40:26.000 So if Malcolm is doing these speeches, and he's doing these speeches in front of these large audiences, he's probably said some funny things.
01:40:32.000 So he probably thinks that he can do stand-up.
01:40:35.000 He's a funny guy.
01:40:36.000 But when he got it, I was like, ah, man, I need to find a dude.
01:40:40.000 I need to talk to him.
01:40:43.000 I don't think people understand what it is.
01:40:45.000 It's a very weird art form, because I think it's only truly appreciated...
01:40:50.000 By people who've done it.
01:40:52.000 Like truly appreciated in terms of what's actually happening.
01:40:55.000 And it took me years to realize that what was going on when you're killing is a sort of a form of hypnosis.
01:41:04.000 The audience is letting you into their mind and they're letting you think for them. 0.97
01:41:09.000 That's why when you have clunky shit or you blow yourself up or you have a distorted perception of yourself or you have too many words, it's like annoying, it's frustrating, it's hard for people to absorb. 0.98
01:41:20.000 You lose some of that grip that you have on them. 0.99
01:41:24.000 But when someone has an economy of words, and they lock in, and their jokes are tight, and then they keep going and going, you're lost.
01:41:32.000 You're lost in their thoughts.
01:41:34.000 You just let those people carry you.
01:41:35.000 I love it.
01:41:36.000 One of my favorite things is to sit in the audience and love someone killing.
01:41:39.000 I just go along with them, like, ah!
01:41:41.000 It's so fun.
01:41:42.000 It's so fun.
01:41:42.000 But to break that down to just sentences and words and you say this and you say that, it's not that.
01:41:49.000 There's so much more to it.
01:41:50.000 So many elements.
01:41:51.000 That's why I love watching like...
01:41:53.000 You know what I wish?
01:41:54.000 I wish there was a stand-up show.
01:41:58.000 You know how...
01:41:59.000 Like I love...
01:42:01.000 Now that some of these ex-NBA players are on ESPN, because now they're speaking about the game from being players.
01:42:08.000 Yes.
01:42:08.000 So you have people who clearly have never played.
01:42:10.000 Right.
01:42:11.000 You know, very learned pundits.
01:42:15.000 And they go, that ain't it, man.
01:42:17.000 Yes, exactly.
01:42:18.000 You ain't never do this.
01:42:19.000 It's this, this, this, this, this.
01:42:21.000 That team gonna lose.
01:42:22.000 And then the team loses. 1.00
01:42:24.000 I love that shit. 1.00
01:42:25.000 And I wish that... 1.00
01:42:28.000 There was a show like that for stand-ups where we could watch a stand-up special.
01:42:33.000 We would be real...
01:42:34.000 It would be hard, though.
01:42:35.000 I know, because you come across as hating, but it's not... 0.99
01:42:37.000 There's some dog shit specials. 1.00
01:42:39.000 I know, I know. 0.99
01:42:39.000 You know, and I know there's something that should have never happened. 0.99
01:42:41.000 And you watch them, and you'd have to break it down.
01:42:43.000 You'd have to go, this is nonsense. 0.85
01:42:45.000 This is nonsense right here.
01:42:46.000 Yeah, but I enjoy figuring out that puzzle.
01:42:49.000 Yeah, but we couldn't do it publicly. 1.00
01:42:52.000 No, I know, fuck. 0.99
01:42:53.000 You know what I've been doing? 1.00
01:42:54.000 You know some of my favorite people to do this with?
01:42:57.000 Me and Eddie Pep are sitting in the back of the room and just...
01:43:01.000 Just tear something apart?
01:43:03.000 And it's so fun!
01:43:05.000 It's so fun!
01:43:06.000 And we both are like...
01:43:07.000 And then we go up and do our act. 0.99
01:43:11.000 When you see bullshit, bullshit comedy is fun to watch sometimes. 0.99
01:43:14.000 It's so fun. 0.99
01:43:14.000 But what I'm saying, I'm fascinated by that thing where... 0.99
01:43:20.000 We're truth-tellers, we're honest, we spend our whole lives trying to figure out what our truth is, but we can't speak truth about certain things still because it's bad optics, it's bad things.
01:43:34.000 Bad optics is a good way of putting it.
01:43:37.000 My intention is to help it.
01:43:39.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
01:43:40.000 That's why I said I'm not walking around going, this guy sucks. 1.00
01:43:44.000 I love that you say it's dog shit. 1.00
01:43:47.000 But I just feel like you should have taken a year. 1.00
01:43:52.000 You know what I mean?
01:43:53.000 And this is a good start.
01:43:55.000 But that's the case in everything.
01:43:57.000 It's the case in fighting.
01:43:59.000 There's people that are bad at fighting.
01:44:01.000 Oh, my God.
01:44:01.000 I want to see what that is like.
01:44:03.000 There's people that are terrible at it.
01:44:05.000 Oh, my gosh.
01:44:05.000 And then they try to fight professionally and they get crushed.
01:44:08.000 Yeah.
01:44:09.000 And then there's people that are really good at it.
01:44:11.000 And you watch them and you go, oh, I see.
01:44:14.000 What's separating the creativity, the aggression, the understanding, the technical aspects of it?
01:44:19.000 Oh, yeah.
01:44:19.000 That's the same with stand-up.
01:44:21.000 There's people that are mediocre at music.
01:44:22.000 There's people that are terrible at poetry.
01:44:25.000 There's people that are just...
01:44:26.000 Maybe they're still on their early notebooks.
01:44:30.000 You know what I mean?
01:44:30.000 Maybe it's just a journey and they just haven't gotten to the point yet.
01:44:33.000 But there's also a thing where you were talking about...
01:44:43.000 Oh, yeah.
01:45:06.000 But it's the same mentality as those phony actors that haven't made it.
01:45:11.000 They don't say, nice to meet you because they might have met you already, so they say, good to see you.
01:45:16.000 Yes!
01:45:17.000 You know that thing they do!
01:45:18.000 What does that mean?
01:45:19.000 Good to see you!
01:45:20.000 What does that mean?
01:45:22.000 You know, me and my friend, Dwayne Kennedy, we were working on a show one time, and we walked a lot.
01:45:28.000 And we would just walk up to people and go, I'm hearing good things.
01:45:34.000 People would be like, ah!
01:45:36.000 Because it is.
01:45:37.000 It's right there.
01:45:37.000 It's up there.
01:45:38.000 Hey, man, I'm hearing good things, man.
01:45:40.000 Yes.
01:45:40.000 Good things.
01:45:43.000 Actors.
01:45:44.000 Yes.
01:45:44.000 Yeah.
01:45:45.000 I have a person I know, and her boyfriend is not a comic, an actor that hasn't made it.
01:45:52.000 And he's brutal.
01:45:53.000 Because all he talks about is, like, that this guy, I don't like his choices.
01:45:57.000 Like, you can't even watch a preview with him.
01:45:59.000 Oh, gosh.
01:46:00.000 Yeah, like, whatever happened to his career? 1.00
01:46:02.000 Like, bitch, you don't have a career. 1.00
01:46:04.000 What are you saying? 1.00
01:46:05.000 Are you shitting on this guy? 0.99
01:46:06.000 Pay attention to you, and you'll have a busy, busy... 1.00
01:46:14.000 True.
01:46:19.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:46:25.000 The struggle is a motherfucker because it's a mind fuck and then also the pressure of that struggle overwhelms you and then when you actually do get a break there's so much weight to it you can't carry it. 1.00
01:46:37.000 Can't carry it. 0.99
01:46:38.000 Do you have anything now Do you look back at maybe, like, have you seen some comedians, like, because, like, when you're in that struggle, you're not your best self, right?
01:46:51.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:46:52.000 So shit could happen. 1.00
01:46:52.000 For sure, yeah. 1.00
01:46:53.000 Have you, like, ever, like, made amends or anything, like, you know, or just, like...
01:47:00.000 Forgiving people quietly because you understand it now.
01:47:04.000 It's kind of like being a parent.
01:47:05.000 Before you're a parent, you see the world one way.
01:47:07.000 Then you become a parent.
01:47:09.000 Yeah.
01:47:09.000 You know what I mean?
01:47:10.000 It's like...
01:47:11.000 Yeah, I talk about that a lot.
01:47:13.000 I used to think of people as being...
01:47:14.000 I meet a guy, he's 42. Oh, he's always been 42. I'm a very forgiving person.
01:47:30.000 I forgive people as often as I can.
01:47:32.000 There's no benefit to holding a grudge.
01:47:36.000 I agree with that.
01:47:37.000 Especially in our business.
01:47:38.000 We're in a wild business where people take chances.
01:47:41.000 Wild people that take chances, you gotta cut them breaks.
01:47:44.000 Yeah, and I love that you always embrace that.
01:47:46.000 You know who else embraces people being who they are?
01:47:49.000 Debbie Allen is like that. 1.00
01:47:51.000 Yeah?
01:47:51.000 Yeah, man.
01:47:52.000 It's like people want to protect people like that.
01:47:53.000 You know what I mean?
01:47:55.000 They kind of walk the world with no judgment.
01:47:59.000 I like being like that. 1.00
01:48:01.000 Like, I love when people do fucked up shit. 1.00
01:48:03.000 I hope they don't do it to me. 1.00
01:48:04.000 No, I'm fasting.
01:48:05.000 I'm like, I just want to know, yeah, man, whoa, whoa, and then what?
01:48:07.000 You know what I mean?
01:48:07.000 Like, I'm not like, well, maybe you shouldn't.
01:48:10.000 I'm like, no, yeah, dude, see what happens.
01:48:12.000 I like chaos.
01:48:13.000 I do.
01:48:13.000 I encourage it.
01:48:14.000 I do. 0.99
01:48:15.000 But I also, I like people realizing that they fucked up and then talking about their fuck-ups. 0.99
01:48:19.000 I like that. 0.99
01:48:20.000 But that's what makes, like I say, it's the difference between greatness and, you know, talented people.
01:48:26.000 The people that can embrace it.
01:48:28.000 I think transcend.
01:48:30.000 I think it's...
01:48:30.000 In my opinion.
01:48:31.000 It's just a powerful human quality to forgive people.
01:48:35.000 Humility.
01:48:35.000 Humility is big, but also just being a nice person is so valuable.
01:48:41.000 It's so valuable.
01:48:42.000 I love hugging people, man.
01:48:43.000 One of the things I love most about coming to the store, order the improv, is seeing all my friends.
01:48:48.000 I love that.
01:48:49.000 We're all in this weird business together.
01:48:51.000 But I've been told I'm too nice.
01:48:53.000 I've been told I'm too nice. 1.00
01:48:54.000 Who the fuck told you that? 1.00
01:48:55.000 Some asshole. 1.00
01:48:56.000 Well, because I haven't had a special and all that shit. 1.00
01:48:58.000 That's bullshit. 1.00
01:48:58.000 You're too nice, man. 1.00
01:48:59.000 No, you haven't had a special because you concentrated on writing.
01:49:01.000 That's all it is.
01:49:03.000 You're not too nice.
01:49:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:49:04.000 That's all bullshit. 1.00
01:49:05.000 That's crazy, Todd. 1.00
01:49:06.000 I know.
01:49:06.000 I was like, I am.
01:49:07.000 That's fucking crazy, Todd. 1.00
01:49:08.000 When things aren't going well, assholes on the outside come up with solutions. 1.00
01:49:13.000 You're too nice. 0.99
01:49:14.000 I know what to do different.
01:49:15.000 You need to start stealing.
01:49:17.000 Right, right.
01:49:18.000 I'm like, I'm too tall to steal, man.
01:49:19.000 You need to fire your agent.
01:49:21.000 I'm like, what?
01:49:21.000 He's been with me from the beginning.
01:49:23.000 Thank you.
01:49:25.000 I think that there's always some solution that they've got.
01:49:28.000 Yes.
01:49:29.000 That's a dangerous thing when things aren't going well.
01:49:30.000 All you need to do is, people, all you need to do is, you're listening.
01:49:34.000 People, even people that are really good, people come up with bad solutions.
01:49:37.000 Oh, yeah.
01:49:38.000 Like, my manager, my own manager, I've had four.
01:49:41.000 I found my manager when I was an open miker.
01:49:44.000 He found me when I was an open miker in Boston.
01:49:46.000 I've had him ever since.
01:49:47.000 But in the beginning, he wanted me to be clean.
01:49:49.000 He's like, you gotta be clean.
01:49:52.000 You gotta be clean.
01:49:53.000 Clean your act up.
01:49:54.000 Get on TV. Clean your act up.
01:49:56.000 But he let it go pretty quickly.
01:49:58.000 But it's also because things aren't going well, right? 0.99
01:50:00.000 You don't have shit going on. 0.97
01:50:02.000 Nothing's happening. 0.99
01:50:03.000 So people are like, hmm, how do we make it happen for you?
01:50:06.000 You gotta be clean.
01:50:07.000 You told me I gotta dress up nice and be clean.
01:50:10.000 Two pieces of terrible advice.
01:50:13.000 Let me ask you, do you think there's still value in that?
01:50:16.000 Like, um...
01:50:18.000 Why don't they have a late night talk show where comics can just do their actual act?
01:50:23.000 It would have to be on the internet. 0.99
01:50:24.000 The problem is all those goddamn people you're talking about. 0.96
01:50:26.000 Like the same reason why you can never have this fight companion or even this podcast on a network. 0.99
01:50:32.000 There was too many people would interfere.
01:50:34.000 I have a friend who's an executive and he actually talked to me about, you know, there's probably a lot of other things you could do with this show.
01:50:40.000 You know, you could do this and you could do...
01:50:41.000 I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:50:43.000 Stop.
01:50:44.000 You're never going to get a job here.
01:50:46.000 You're not going to come over to the wild side.
01:50:49.000 You can't handle this.
01:50:51.000 This is not you.
01:50:52.000 The internet is a different thing, man.
01:50:55.000 The internet is a different thing. 0.78
01:50:56.000 And if you involve the internet and you try to bring the Hollywood people over, they'll just fuck it up.
01:51:03.000 They'll just ruin it.
01:51:04.000 So if any kind of wild ass late night talk show you have comics sitting around, they'll ruin that. 1.00
01:51:09.000 You'd have to bring that over here.
01:51:11.000 You'd have to bring it over to the dark side and just let people just... 0.99
01:51:15.000 All you need is a conference table and some fucking cameras and an internet connection. 0.99
01:51:18.000 Boom, you're on YouTube. 1.00
01:51:19.000 I'm doing it.
01:51:20.000 That's all you need.
01:51:22.000 In context with Owen Smith.
01:51:23.000 Why not, man?
01:51:25.000 I'll be watching stuff going, man, I want to die.
01:51:28.000 Dude, every comic should have a podcast just like every comic has a social media.
01:51:34.000 It's really that simple to me. 0.99
01:51:37.000 I'm getting off of that shit, though. 1.00
01:51:39.000 Social media? 0.99
01:51:40.000 I'm going to keep it, but I ain't following nobody.
01:51:42.000 No offense.
01:51:43.000 It's very addictive.
01:51:44.000 I unfollowed you this morning.
01:51:46.000 Thank you.
01:51:46.000 Because...
01:51:49.000 That's my new thing.
01:51:50.000 I tell people to their face.
01:51:51.000 Yo, I followed you, then unfollowed you.
01:51:53.000 It's very distracting.
01:51:55.000 Yeah, it totally is. 0.99
01:51:57.000 And I'm like, God damn. 1.00
01:51:58.000 Looking at pictures of my dog and stupid shit. 1.00
01:52:00.000 Yeah, it's like, my dog's right here. 1.00
01:52:02.000 I can just pet my fuck. 1.00
01:52:03.000 Why am I doing this? 1.00
01:52:04.000 It's a time waster.
01:52:05.000 Yeah, man.
01:52:06.000 So I'm on it.
01:52:07.000 Y'all can follow me.
01:52:08.000 Owen Smith for real, whatever.
01:52:10.000 Ha ha ha!
01:52:11.000 No, for real, man.
01:52:12.000 Whatever.
01:52:14.000 I'm not following nobody.
01:52:16.000 I'm trying to get rid of all my Twitter followers.
01:52:20.000 If I know you and I see you, I'm going to engage that way.
01:52:23.000 I'm only going to post stuff that I feel is funny and fun or whatever.
01:52:26.000 It's a good promotional tool.
01:52:27.000 That's it.
01:52:28.000 That's it.
01:52:28.000 You have to be worried about the addictive nature of social media.
01:52:33.000 It's very addictive.
01:52:34.000 Yeah.
01:52:34.000 It's very hard to...
01:52:36.000 When I take a shit in the morning, I'll go over my email first, see if there's any important. 0.97
01:52:42.000 See if there's anything funny on Instagram. 0.97
01:52:44.000 Yeah.
01:52:44.000 And then Lil Duvall always makes me laugh.
01:52:46.000 He's hilarious. 1.00
01:52:46.000 I go to his shit first. 1.00
01:52:47.000 He's the best. 1.00
01:52:48.000 Yeah.
01:52:49.000 Him and Kyle Dunnigan are the best follows on Instagram.
01:52:52.000 You know what's funny?
01:52:53.000 He's from the Bahamas.
01:52:54.000 I was born in the Bahamas.
01:52:56.000 He's so funny, man.
01:52:57.000 I sold the show to ABC and I wrote it.
01:53:00.000 And they were asking me, like, who do you want to star in it?
01:53:03.000 And I wanted Lil Duval to star in it.
01:53:06.000 And the whole network thing, I was like... 0.84
01:53:09.000 Plus, I don't even know if he's fucking with TV now because his music career is like... 0.69
01:53:11.000 He's doing so well with performing live. 0.71
01:53:14.000 It would be a demotion.
01:53:15.000 You know what I mean?
01:53:16.000 The dude has planes.
01:53:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:53:17.000 He has two planes.
01:53:19.000 Yeah, I know.
01:53:19.000 I know.
01:53:20.000 I know.
01:53:20.000 Isn't it crazy hearing him talk about it?
01:53:22.000 But I just think he's so...
01:53:24.000 You trust him.
01:53:25.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:53:26.000 It's certain when you see him, you know his goal is to be funny, and you just trust it.
01:53:33.000 Even though he hasn't, quote-unquote, been number one on a call sheet before, I was like, man, this dude would be...
01:53:39.000 He would be murderous.
01:53:41.000 But it's too late.
01:53:43.000 He's free already.
01:53:45.000 They passed on the show, so I didn't have to go do with the casting thing anyway.
01:53:49.000 But in the back of my mind, I was like, man, he would be the perfect guy.
01:53:52.000 If you had a show that was produced by people that you respect...
01:53:56.000 You?
01:53:57.000 Yeah, and other comics and really intelligent people that you trusted, that would be a different experience.
01:54:03.000 Completely.
01:54:04.000 And it wouldn't even feel like work.
01:54:06.000 Yeah.
01:54:06.000 And it would have to be people whose lives didn't depend on the success of the show.
01:54:10.000 Oh, that's so important.
01:54:11.000 Yes. 1.00
01:54:11.000 Because you could feel that shit, man. 1.00
01:54:13.000 Yes. 1.00
01:54:13.000 Especially with notes and all of that. 1.00
01:54:15.000 But again, like I say...
01:54:18.000 I chose to look at it as a challenge.
01:54:20.000 I just go, what is this?
01:54:22.000 Let me see how I can, you know...
01:54:25.000 Well, it clearly benefits your stand-up writing because you have this...
01:54:31.000 Your stand-up, you vary widely in your subjects.
01:54:36.000 Right.
01:54:36.000 And you also, you have this approach.
01:54:39.000 You have a very comprehensive approach to subjects.
01:54:42.000 You examine subjects well.
01:54:46.000 I think a lot of that comes from your writing and a lot of that comes from also dealing with network notes and dealing with executives.
01:54:53.000 There's a benefit, but the benefit's done.
01:54:55.000 You already got all the good parts of that.
01:54:57.000 You gotta break free of the tit.
01:54:59.000 Gotta break free, man.
01:55:00.000 So there it is.
01:55:02.000 TextOwen.com You could do so many different things, man.
01:55:05.000 All right, I'm going to talk to you.
01:55:06.000 You could do so many different things.
01:55:07.000 I'm going to hit you up.
01:55:08.000 And if you want to do some gigs with me, I've got a bunch of gigs.
01:55:10.000 I'm announcing a giant tour tomorrow.
01:55:12.000 Yay! 0.99
01:55:12.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:55:12.000 Hey, we just announced it today. 0.99
01:55:14.000 Yeah.
01:55:14.000 Does this come out tomorrow or is this out today?
01:55:15.000 This will come out.
01:55:16.000 When does this come out?
01:55:17.000 Tomorrow.
01:55:18.000 Yeah, tomorrow.
01:55:19.000 Okay, good.
01:55:19.000 So, ha-ha.
01:55:20.000 Good.
01:55:20.000 Tomorrow meaning today.
01:55:21.000 So, I'm announcing a giant tour today.
01:55:23.000 That's great, man.
01:55:23.000 Yay.
01:55:23.000 Oh, man.
01:55:24.000 Yes, I want to.
01:55:24.000 Let's do some gigs.
01:55:25.000 Let's do it, man.
01:55:26.000 I'd love to take you out with me.
01:55:27.000 I would love it, man.
01:55:28.000 Let's do some arenas.
01:55:28.000 Yes.
01:55:29.000 Woo! 0.99
01:55:30.000 Ah!
01:55:30.000 What's the biggest place you ever performed at?
01:55:32.000 Radio City Music Hall.
01:55:33.000 How many is that?
01:55:34.000 Russell Peters.
01:55:37.000 Maybe 6,000?
01:55:38.000 Oh, okay.
01:55:39.000 Straight up.
01:55:39.000 And let me tell you, the comedy store, my training in the comedy store prepared me for that.
01:55:43.000 Yeah.
01:55:43.000 Because at the run-through, I was like, how am I going to play this?
01:55:47.000 Because it just goes up.
01:55:49.000 Right.
01:55:50.000 When I was on stage, the way it's set intimately, it felt like D.O.R., Really?
01:55:55.000 It felt like DLR. So from a technical perspective, I just had to stand there and trust the material.
01:56:02.000 And then when I would act out something, it was so much more effective than the first instinct.
01:56:06.000 Like, I got to work this stage.
01:56:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:56:08.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:56:09.000 It's like, if I was like a couple of, you know, just because of my build and my height, I was trying to figure out what's the best way to like connect.
01:56:16.000 Some people like to pace.
01:56:17.000 Yeah, and pacing is fine, but...
01:56:20.000 It's got to be in you.
01:56:21.000 Yes.
01:56:22.000 And...
01:56:23.000 Sometimes I pace, but the more I know it, the stiller I can get.
01:56:29.000 And then I can play.
01:56:31.000 Now I'm playing, you know what I mean?
01:56:32.000 So it's just the work of it all.
01:56:34.000 So when I did Radio City, I stood there, man.
01:56:38.000 It destroyed that. 0.99
01:56:39.000 It was fun as fuck. 0.98
01:56:41.000 I love arenas because you forget when... 0.99
01:56:47.000 The drinks are being bought in and the tabs are being dropped.
01:56:51.000 You don't have that.
01:56:52.000 Like, they're actually just there. 1.00
01:56:53.000 And you're like, oh, shit! 0.99
01:56:54.000 Like, it's just a different... 0.99
01:56:56.000 Has he done one in the round yet?
01:56:57.000 Not yet.
01:56:58.000 That's wild.
01:56:59.000 I can't wait, man.
01:56:59.000 That's weird.
01:57:00.000 You can pace it around.
01:57:01.000 It's fun. 0.99
01:57:02.000 That'd be fun as fuck, man. 0.99
01:57:03.000 Like, I just... 0.99
01:57:03.000 Yeah, man. 0.99
01:57:04.000 I get chills just thinking of, like...
01:57:07.000 When I first started...
01:57:08.000 A few auditoriums I did, then a few arenas...
01:57:11.000 Not arenas.
01:57:12.000 Theaters.
01:57:13.000 Theaters. 1.00
01:57:14.000 I was like, oh shit, this is what I, this is, like, I'm that, like, I love that shit. 1.00
01:57:19.000 Well, especially for your style of comedy, too. 1.00
01:57:21.000 Yeah, love it, man.
01:57:22.000 You have comedy, too, that's got plenty of room to think about what you're saying.
01:57:26.000 Yeah.
01:57:26.000 You know, and that's what you, in the theater, you gotta kind of slow things down a little bit, because I remember I went to watch Louis Black, me and Joey Diaz.
01:57:33.000 Yes.
01:57:33.000 Watched Louis Black.
01:57:34.000 He was performing a night before I was.
01:57:37.000 Okay.
01:57:37.000 And we flew in early, and Joey was like, let's go across the street, because that was where the theater was.
01:57:43.000 And so we got in, we sat down, and I realized that when he's in New Jersey, the theater didn't have the best sound.
01:57:51.000 Not that New Jersey has bad sounds.
01:57:52.000 But when he was in the middle of his, he was killing, he had this big laugh, and then he would say a tagline, and I couldn't hear the tagline because everybody around me was laughing.
01:58:02.000 And then I realized, like, oh, you've got to hold these taglines a little in a place like this because the laughter is too loud because you actually hear people next to you going, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:58:14.000 You can't hear what the fuck he's saying unless the volume is so overwhelming like you got to know and then on stage It's hard to realize that because there's the monitors and the monitors are you know You can hear yourself very loudly, but you might not the people in the audience might not be able to hear it It is a different pacing thing. 0.55
01:58:31.000 I love it though, man. 0.98
01:58:32.000 This is so interesting about that is when you What I like to do sometimes is look at what other acts come to that venue.
01:58:42.000 And a lot of times if it's like jazz ensembles or things where it's not a lot of laughter in that space, you gotta remember It's 52 weeks in a year.
01:58:55.000 Maybe four of those weeks, it's us.
01:58:57.000 Right.
01:58:57.000 You know what I mean?
01:58:57.000 Yeah.
01:58:58.000 Every time, it's like, it's dance.
01:59:00.000 It's all these other things.
01:59:01.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:59:01.000 You know, doing this shit. 1.00
01:59:03.000 So yeah, the place is even like, what the fuck is all this noise? 1.00
01:59:06.000 Right. 0.97
01:59:06.000 Consistent at a rapid. 0.97
01:59:07.000 Yeah.
01:59:08.000 So yeah, you do, it bounces and you gotta like just...
01:59:11.000 That's different.
01:59:12.000 It's different.
01:59:14.000 What's your thing that you do when people are laughing a lot?
01:59:17.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:59:18.000 Like, if you got a lot of laughs, you know, some people like to do that fake laugh.
01:59:24.000 If I laugh, it's because I'm laughing.
01:59:25.000 No, I know.
01:59:26.000 I don't have a fake laugh.
01:59:27.000 Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
01:59:28.000 The old school cats could take a puff.
01:59:30.000 Yeah.
01:59:31.000 Like, what's your...
01:59:32.000 I don't know.
01:59:33.000 Just in the moment, man.
01:59:34.000 I stay in the moment.
01:59:35.000 I try to stay in the moment.
01:59:36.000 But I definitely never give off a fake laugh.
01:59:38.000 If I'm laughing, it's because I think it's funny in the moment.
01:59:42.000 There's a grossness to fake laughs that I just can't tolerate.
01:59:46.000 I see guys fake laugh, even good comics sometimes.
01:59:48.000 I want to go, please stop doing that.
01:59:50.000 I know, I know.
01:59:51.000 Please stop.
01:59:51.000 Because sometimes it's funny.
01:59:53.000 Sometimes it really is funny.
01:59:54.000 But if you're lying to me, you're pretending you think this is hysterical right now when you said it 150 times in a row exactly the same way.
02:00:01.000 And you're pretending like you just realized how funny it is.
02:00:04.000 Right.
02:00:04.000 Like, I had a tagline the other night that I never used before, and right after I said it, I started cracking up.
02:00:09.000 It cracked you up.
02:00:10.000 That's the best, though.
02:00:11.000 It came out of nowhere.
02:00:12.000 Yeah.
02:00:12.000 Because I realized, like, I had a point in the middle of this bit, and I said the point, and they're like, bah!
02:00:19.000 Because it was so ridiculous. 0.75
02:00:20.000 Yeah. 0.97
02:00:20.000 And it was also real. 0.97
02:00:23.000 Like, in the moment, I came up with it, I ad-libbed, I said it on the spot, and then I started laughing.
02:00:28.000 I love that.
02:00:28.000 Those are real laughs, but I don't hardly ever...
02:00:32.000 Laugh along.
02:00:33.000 Unless I'm really...
02:00:34.000 I might be real high. 0.95
02:00:35.000 If I'm real high, I'm real silly.
02:00:38.000 Sometimes I'm just...
02:00:39.000 You know, most of the time I'm in the groove, right?
02:00:41.000 I'm just thinking about what I'm doing.
02:00:42.000 I'm just trying to do it my best.
02:00:43.000 But there's times when I'm up there, I'm like, man, I can't believe I get to do this.
02:00:47.000 I know.
02:00:47.000 Can't believe it.
02:00:49.000 Remember, go back to thinking about the time when you were 19, you're watching Chris and Tony, and then think now.
02:00:54.000 You know, you get to do it in the best comedy clubs in the world.
02:00:58.000 Yeah.
02:00:59.000 And it's just the greatest job on earth.
02:01:01.000 There's nothing like it.
02:01:02.000 There's nothing like it.
02:01:03.000 And so that brings me back to Malcolm Gladwell, man. 1.00
02:01:06.000 Malcolm, you're crazy. 0.94
02:01:07.000 We'll see you in these comedy streets, fam. 1.00
02:01:09.000 Come on, Malcolm.
02:01:10.000 Malcolm, I'll pull you up on one of my nights.
02:01:12.000 I really wanted to talk to him.
02:01:12.000 I want you to go on right after always.
02:01:14.000 Yes, yes!
02:01:15.000 Yeah, follow me, son.
02:01:18.000 Or open.
02:01:19.000 That might be even uglier.
02:01:20.000 Oh my gosh.
02:01:22.000 Yeah, man.
02:01:23.000 No warm-up?
02:01:23.000 I was like, for real, ask my wife.
02:01:26.000 I couldn't listen to him for a minute.
02:01:28.000 And that was my man, because he had these podcasts when he was dissecting stuff.
02:01:33.000 But he's a brilliant guy.
02:01:35.000 Fantastic.
02:01:35.000 And sometimes brilliant people overestimate their perceptions.
02:01:39.000 They overestimate their ability to break something down.
02:01:42.000 Yes.
02:01:43.000 I mean, I've had conversations with people about fighting that way, where people say, hey, if anybody ever came up to me, I would do this, and then I would do that.
02:01:51.000 Like, they say that, and I'm like, oh, okay.
02:01:53.000 This is hard for me to hear. 0.99
02:01:55.000 I'm just going to let you talk, because really, I want to just tackle you right now and choke the life out of you. 0.99
02:01:59.000 Wait, I wasn't ready. 0.99
02:02:00.000 I wasn't ready!
02:02:01.000 But people have this idea, because a person moves in a way that's similar to the way that they can move.
02:02:06.000 They think, I could do that.
02:02:07.000 I lift weights. 1.00
02:02:08.000 I'll fuck that guy up. 1.00
02:02:09.000 They have these ideas, and they think, oh, he's out there talking. 1.00
02:02:11.000 I'm a brilliant guy.
02:02:12.000 I'm smarter than them.
02:02:13.000 I understand things.
02:02:15.000 I write.
02:02:16.000 I'm always performing, because I'm always talking about this.
02:02:19.000 Stand-up would be easy.
02:02:20.000 I literally yelled.
02:02:21.000 I said, Malcolm, what did I do to you?
02:02:24.000 I think it's so personal.
02:02:26.000 Like, why are you attacking my thing, man?
02:02:28.000 Before I criticize him, I'd have to hear his exact quote.
02:02:30.000 Yeah, I gotta send it to you.
02:02:31.000 Have we found it?
02:02:32.000 He was feeling saucy.
02:02:33.000 It's him and another guy.
02:02:34.000 He was talking about jobs that are really hard, and he picked stand-up comedy, and there's a couple quotes.
02:02:39.000 That guy...
02:02:43.000 It was a podcast they did somewhere, like an interview.
02:02:49.000 So you saw it in quotes?
02:02:51.000 Can I see the quotes?
02:02:54.000 It wasn't very clear.
02:02:56.000 But basically, give me your synopsis of it then.
02:02:59.000 He thought people were too drunk, so it was really easy.
02:03:02.000 Yes.
02:03:03.000 The room was set up for them.
02:03:05.000 They're coming to see them, so it's easier.
02:03:06.000 He just doesn't know.
02:03:08.000 The guy's a very singular...
02:03:11.000 He must have been one or two stand-up shows.
02:03:12.000 Well, he's right sometimes, though.
02:03:15.000 He's right sometimes. 0.99
02:03:16.000 We've all seen shows where people are laughing at bullshit. 0.98
02:03:18.000 I didn't want to hear from him. 0.99
02:03:20.000 Right.
02:03:21.000 Well, he doesn't know.
02:03:22.000 If there was a show and you went on and Jessel Neck went on and Diaz, maybe Louis C.K. dropped in.
02:03:31.000 Right.
02:03:32.000 Dave Chappelle did 10 minutes.
02:03:34.000 Malcolm, go.
02:03:34.000 Malcolm, get up there.
02:03:35.000 Good fucking luck not having a heart attack. 1.00
02:03:38.000 Right, right. 1.00
02:03:39.000 Go have fun, man.
02:03:40.000 Go, go, go.
02:03:41.000 But he's also right in that we've all seen mediocre thoughts get passed off and the audience laughs. 0.97
02:03:49.000 There's certain clubs, I don't want to mention any names, but you can go to them any night of the week in Burbank or in North Hollywood and you can see dog shit comedy and people are laughing. 0.97
02:04:00.000 They're laughing and it's like real clunky. 0.94
02:04:04.000 Low rent.
02:04:04.000 What if that's the only...
02:04:05.000 What if that's where he was?
02:04:07.000 Like in those rooms?
02:04:07.000 It could be where he was.
02:04:08.000 Straight B rooms.
02:04:09.000 But I mean, there's the difference between...
02:04:11.000 Talking about any sport, right?
02:04:14.000 You could watch someone do it poorly on a playground, or you could watch someone do it exquisitely as a professional.
02:04:21.000 And you go, oh, here it is.
02:04:23.000 Gladwell stated, comedians deal with people in a tightly controlled setting in that he cannot imagine an easier set of circumstances for navigating a social situation than that of a stand-up comedian.
02:04:35.000 They go to Vegas, they go to the comedy cellar, they control their environments.
02:04:40.000 What?
02:04:40.000 Oh man, I was like...
02:04:42.000 What is this article that's shitting on it? 0.99
02:04:46.000 What's it from? 0.98
02:04:47.000 Malcolm Gladwell Fails Stand-Up Comedy 101. Yes!
02:04:50.000 So who wrote that?
02:04:51.000 See, that's how I felt.
02:04:53.000 What is the person who wrote it?
02:04:56.000 Does it have their name anywhere?
02:04:57.000 I had it somewhere.
02:04:58.000 Really?
02:04:59.000 It's the guy, it's the.com, NathanTimmel.com.
02:05:02.000 NathanTimmel.com.
02:05:03.000 Is Nathan a comic?
02:05:05.000 Yeah, well, he's right.
02:05:06.000 Nathan's right.
02:05:07.000 Yeah, I mean, Malcolm's right in a sense.
02:05:11.000 He's right in a sense.
02:05:12.000 But what he doesn't understand is there's a mind wrestling that's going on before you actually go and do that.
02:05:19.000 And to sort of diminish the difficulty of that, it just shows that you haven't done it.
02:05:26.000 That's what it felt like.
02:05:27.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:05:28.000 And so I was like, damn, I can't. 0.98
02:05:31.000 Because he said it in the same exact voice he says everything else in. 0.96
02:05:35.000 So when he's breaking down something I really want to hear him dissect.
02:05:38.000 He's so brilliant in so many different ways.
02:05:40.000 I couldn't shake it. 1.00
02:05:42.000 That 10,000 hour shit. 1.00
02:05:44.000 He wrote Outliers, right? 1.00
02:05:46.000 That's him, right?
02:05:46.000 Yes.
02:05:47.000 That book is amazing.
02:05:49.000 It talks about the Beatles.
02:05:51.000 People think the Beatles came out of nowhere. 1.00
02:05:52.000 Those motherfuckers did thousands and thousands of shows. 1.00
02:05:56.000 That's what's up. 1.00
02:05:56.000 It's just numbers. 1.00
02:05:57.000 Yeah.
02:05:58.000 It's numbers and concentration and focus and just that being what you really want.
02:06:02.000 Yeah.
02:06:02.000 You know?
02:06:03.000 It's not just numbers.
02:06:04.000 It's numbers of like passion, numbers of focus.
02:06:07.000 Yeah.
02:06:08.000 Yeah.
02:06:08.000 Yeah.
02:06:09.000 He's wrong.
02:06:10.000 He's wrong, but I get it.
02:06:12.000 I get why he thinks that.
02:06:14.000 It is a tightly controlled environment, but it's so easy to bomb in that tightly controlled environment.
02:06:18.000 He has no idea.
02:06:20.000 That's an A room.
02:06:22.000 Some rooms are tightly controlled environments.
02:06:25.000 But starting, we didn't always perform in tightly controlled environments.
02:06:28.000 No. 0.99
02:06:29.000 Bowling alleys, fucking backyards, bars. 0.99
02:06:34.000 Yeah, there's so many other spots where you also have to make comedy happen. 0.99
02:06:40.000 Spaces where there's a big moat between you and the audience.
02:06:44.000 Dude, I did a Jack and Jill strip club.
02:06:47.000 There you go.
02:06:47.000 A Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.
02:06:50.000 The last thing they want to see is you.
02:06:51.000 There was a guy named Brian Deary.
02:06:53.000 He used to book these gigs.
02:06:53.000 I think he's still around.
02:06:55.000 He used to book these gigs in Rhode Island.
02:06:56.000 And some of them were great, but occasionally they were terrible.
02:06:59.000 And this one, as far as I know, I think I was a one and done.
02:07:03.000 I think they killed it after either.
02:07:04.000 Because there was only like four people in the crowd.
02:07:06.000 And I went up and there was a guy and a girl.
02:07:09.000 Jack and Jill's strip club was an old concept that didn't really take off where couples would go and a guy would go and strip and a girl would go and strip.
02:07:20.000 And they both looked like their parents drank while they were in the womb.
02:07:23.000 They both had terrible tattoos.
02:07:25.000 This guy had terrible tattoos and he had them covered with bandanas. 0.91
02:07:28.000 So he had bandanas around his arm, and you could see the shitty tattoo poking out of the bottom. 0.98
02:07:34.000 And he was built goofy. 0.97
02:07:36.000 He was built like a guy who lifts weights, but he drinks every night. 0.96
02:07:39.000 You know what I mean?
02:07:41.000 Strong pot-bellied dude.
02:07:42.000 He wasn't like, if you go to Vegas and you see those men from Down Under, they're all six-pack looking ripped.
02:07:47.000 There was nothing like that with him or her. 0.99
02:07:49.000 They were both disgusting. 1.00
02:07:51.000 They're both disgusting. 0.99
02:07:52.000 And I'd like to say I bombed, but bombing usually you hear some noise. 1.00
02:07:59.000 Like people are mad at you, you suck, poo. 1.00
02:08:03.000 They were not even recognizing that I was talking. 1.00
02:08:07.000 So I got off stage and there was like a little pool table in the back.
02:08:11.000 And there was a dude who just happened to be in town because his family lived there, because it was around the holidays, and his family lived in Rhode Island, and he just wanted to get out of the house, so he came to this local bar. 0.98
02:08:20.000 And he goes, hey, what the fuck is this place? 0.94
02:08:24.000 And I go, what are you doing here? 0.99
02:08:25.000 And he goes, I'm just here. 0.99
02:08:26.000 My fucking family lives around here, and I just came here because there's nowhere else to go. 1.00
02:08:30.000 What the fuck is this place? 1.00
02:08:31.000 This is so strange! 1.00
02:08:32.000 And he and I had a game of pool, and we were laughing.
02:08:35.000 That's hilarious.
02:08:35.000 Yeah, I'll never forget it.
02:08:37.000 It was so strange.
02:08:38.000 It was so strange.
02:08:40.000 That's not a controlled environment.
02:08:41.000 Those gigs?
02:08:42.000 Those gigs season you, though.
02:08:44.000 Yes!
02:08:44.000 You develop a crust.
02:08:47.000 Yes.
02:08:48.000 A layer of protection where you could go up in front of those people.
02:08:51.000 Yes, and you also know when you get offered those gigs what it's going to be like.
02:08:55.000 Yeah.
02:08:55.000 Just by the tone.
02:08:56.000 I mean, it's going to be great.
02:08:56.000 It's always packed.
02:08:57.000 All right.
02:08:57.000 Okay.
02:08:58.000 All right.
02:08:58.000 Where is it again?
02:09:00.000 Sure.
02:09:00.000 But there were some that were always packed.
02:09:02.000 There were some gigs that I'd get old school shitty bar gigs that were fun, man.
02:09:06.000 Yeah.
02:09:07.000 They were wild.
02:09:08.000 They made me because they fed me.
02:09:10.000 Right.
02:09:10.000 Those gigs fed me when I was poor.
02:09:12.000 But every situation is different.
02:09:15.000 He basically saw the Lakers of stand-up.
02:09:21.000 And he thinks it looks easy because they make it look easy.
02:09:24.000 He falls into that trap.
02:09:25.000 That's all for him.
02:09:26.000 My wife is calling me.
02:09:28.000 That's like thinking that someone's making something, thinking that something's easy because someone's a master.
02:09:34.000 Yes.
02:09:35.000 Like, did you ever see that video where Michael Jordan came out of retirement?
02:09:41.000 No, he didn't come out of retirement, but he had retired. 0.99
02:09:43.000 But there was a player who had been talking shit about him. 0.99
02:09:45.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
02:09:46.000 You saw that?
02:09:46.000 Oh, yeah.
02:09:48.000 And when Mike came back, he...
02:09:51.000 They played one-on-one.
02:09:52.000 They played one-on-one.
02:09:53.000 And he just destroyed them.
02:09:54.000 But he did it laughing and joking.
02:09:56.000 He made it look so easy.
02:09:57.000 And then the guy realized, oh, there's levels!
02:10:02.000 I do that sometimes.
02:10:04.000 Because you know what else happens out here?
02:10:06.000 We'll be working stuff out.
02:10:08.000 Yes.
02:10:09.000 Working stuff out.
02:10:09.000 So I'm not in the gear that I would be in.
02:10:13.000 Of course.
02:10:14.000 Because I'm figuring it out.
02:10:15.000 And this is a safe space to try to figure it out.
02:10:18.000 Yeah.
02:10:18.000 So you might see some people like, you know, whatever.
02:10:21.000 He struggled after me.
02:10:22.000 I'd be like, all right, put me in front of you.
02:10:25.000 And then I would just... 1.00
02:10:26.000 Do your best shit. 1.00
02:10:27.000 And I would make sure I could see they face while I'm doing it. 1.00
02:10:31.000 And they were like, oh shit. 0.99
02:10:32.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
02:10:33.000 That taking the chances.
02:10:34.000 Look, Chris Rock does that better than anybody.
02:10:36.000 I've seen Chris Rock go on after people killed.
02:10:39.000 I mean, killed.
02:10:40.000 He gets this giant round of applause and he goes, relax, relax. 1.00
02:10:43.000 This shit ain't gonna be funny. 1.00
02:10:45.000 This shit is not gonna be that funny. 0.99
02:10:47.000 I'm going to tell you right now, there's all new shit I'm working out. 0.99
02:10:49.000 It ain't that good. 0.96
02:10:51.000 And he'll walk around and joke and laugh and say, it's not that good. 0.99
02:10:54.000 And he'll bring everybody down, calm them down, and then purposely fuck around. 0.99
02:11:00.000 Damon Wayans used to do that too. 0.99
02:11:01.000 He's so funny.
02:11:02.000 Damon Wayans, he's one of the unheralded greats.
02:11:06.000 He's doing it again.
02:11:07.000 Yeah, he is doing it again, but he's also doing sitcoms again, too.
02:11:10.000 Oh, yeah.
02:11:10.000 He was going to do...
02:11:12.000 We had actually talked about doing a podcast.
02:11:14.000 He was into it.
02:11:15.000 Oh, yeah?
02:11:15.000 Oh, I was there that night.
02:11:16.000 Remember?
02:11:17.000 The improv upstairs.
02:11:18.000 But then he's like, he doesn't want to say anything crazy.
02:11:20.000 Oh, because he's got a show.
02:11:21.000 Netflix stuff.
02:11:22.000 Network stuff.
02:11:23.000 Smoking Reed.
02:11:25.000 Get some drinks going.
02:11:27.000 Some ice starts clinking. 1.00
02:11:28.000 Start talking shit. 1.00
02:11:29.000 Oh, he's got some stories. 1.00
02:11:31.000 Look, he had a joke about Magic Johnson way back in the days when Magic went back to playing when he had HIV. I'll never forget this.
02:11:41.000 Everybody was afraid to cover Magic, except for Dennis Rodman. 1.00
02:11:46.000 Dennis Rodman was like, motherfucker, I fucked Madonna. 1.00
02:11:48.000 I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. 1.00
02:11:54.000 To this day, that was one of the best jokes I ever heard. 1.00
02:11:57.000 I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. 1.00
02:12:04.000 This motherfucker has fucked Madonna. 1.00
02:12:08.000 Man. 1.00
02:12:09.000 Yo.
02:12:10.000 You don't realize how complete Damon is, man. 0.95
02:12:13.000 He's an animal.
02:12:14.000 I got to witness, like, the stuff he says between the lines is so complete.
02:12:19.000 You know what I mean? 0.97
02:12:20.000 He's so fucking good. 0.96
02:12:22.000 He should be recognized as one of the greatest of all time, but he went and did a bunch of TV shows. 0.98
02:12:27.000 And while he was doing those TV shows, you know, he did clubs and he fucked around a little bit like that, but he didn't dedicate to it the same way maybe Cat Williams did or some other guys did that became huge.
02:12:38.000 And had a bunch of big time specials in that era, but he still got it.
02:12:42.000 He could still do it right now.
02:12:44.000 Damon, if he wanted to go on tour and start hitting theaters and start doing a Netflix special, he would blow people away.
02:12:52.000 Destroy.
02:12:52.000 He was one of the people that showed me it was okay to be tall and funny.
02:12:56.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
02:12:57.000 You know what I mean?
02:12:58.000 Oh, we've talked about this, yeah.
02:12:59.000 Yeah.
02:12:59.000 Yeah, that's true.
02:13:01.000 Goddamn. 0.99
02:13:01.000 And he was cool. 0.99
02:13:03.000 He was cool, but then he could get goofy. 1.00
02:13:05.000 He was silly. 1.00
02:13:06.000 Man. 1.00
02:13:06.000 He was silly. 1.00
02:13:07.000 But he goddamn was a great writer. 1.00
02:13:09.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:13:10.000 Great writer, great performer, and part of one of the great...
02:13:12.000 Look, there's two greatest sketch...
02:13:14.000 Well, there's a couple other ones that are...
02:13:16.000 But pound for pound funny.
02:13:18.000 There's In Living Color and number one is Chappelle's Show.
02:13:21.000 Now, Chappelle's Show is number one because it only really lasted two years.
02:13:24.000 Right.
02:13:24.000 And still to this day has some of the most legendary sketches of all time.
02:13:28.000 Clayton Bigsby, one of the most legendary sketches of all time. 0.99
02:13:32.000 All the Rick James shit. 0.99
02:13:33.000 Oh my god. 1.00
02:13:34.000 Legendary.
02:13:35.000 Legendary.
02:13:36.000 But in Living Color in that era.
02:13:38.000 Oh my god.
02:13:39.000 That era, that was the show for that era.
02:13:41.000 Yeah.
02:13:41.000 And Damon was a giant part of that, and Kenan.
02:13:43.000 It was stuff you had to see.
02:13:45.000 You would race home to see.
02:13:47.000 You couldn't, yeah.
02:13:47.000 But Damon's somewhere along the line.
02:13:49.000 The world was a different place back then, but he had decided that he was going to do movies.
02:13:53.000 Remember he was in The Last Boy Scout with Bruce Willis?
02:13:55.000 He was a movie star.
02:13:56.000 He was doing action movies.
02:13:58.000 And then he got that sitcom.
02:14:00.000 He did that sitcom for a long time, and The problem with sitcoms is they give you that juicy check every week.
02:14:06.000 If you're a famous guy who's the lead of a sitcom, guys like Kevin James, you never have to work again.
02:14:14.000 Ever.
02:14:14.000 Ever.
02:14:15.000 For life.
02:14:15.000 You get that juicy check?
02:14:17.000 That juicy the show went for six years check?
02:14:19.000 Like, oh boy.
02:14:21.000 Man.
02:14:21.000 Oh boy.
02:14:22.000 You don't have to do nothing.
02:14:24.000 But it's a trap.
02:14:25.000 It's a trap for someone who's a great comic.
02:14:27.000 Yeah.
02:14:29.000 Because at the end of the day, it's never going to be as good as doing stand-up.
02:14:31.000 It's never going to feel as good.
02:14:32.000 There's a thing about when it pops.
02:14:34.000 There's a thing about when you hear a dude pop in the main room.
02:14:38.000 Like, you're in the back green room and you hear...
02:14:40.000 Like, you open the door and lean in.
02:14:42.000 Like, what's going on?
02:14:43.000 What do you do?
02:14:44.000 What happened?
02:14:44.000 What do you do?
02:14:45.000 That's my favorite.
02:14:46.000 That's my professional life.
02:14:48.000 What?
02:15:04.000 What?
02:15:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:15:05.000 It was too risky for the internet?
02:15:07.000 It was too crazy. 1.00
02:15:08.000 Netflix was like, fuck you. 1.00
02:15:10.000 Because it was a Me Too thing. 1.00
02:15:11.000 Uh-huh.
02:15:12.000 But it was basically saying that, like, it was basically mocking Terry Crews.
02:15:17.000 Like, was Terry Crews threatened? 1.00
02:15:19.000 Because he's a goddamn fucking super athlete. 1.00
02:15:22.000 Right. 1.00
02:15:22.000 Like, Terry Crews is a massive man. 1.00
02:15:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:15:24.000 I mean, the idea that some agent touching his dick was actually terrifying is so ridiculous. 1.00
02:15:29.000 But Joey Diaz had this bit about, you shouldn't have done that underwear commercial. 1.00
02:15:33.000 Ah! 1.00
02:15:35.000 You're bouncing your titties with that giant fucking hog. 1.00
02:15:38.000 I'm not doing it any justice. 1.00
02:15:40.000 He doesn't do it anymore, unfortunately.
02:15:42.000 But that bit, me and Santino, we were in the back of the OR. Literally, we couldn't stay in the chair.
02:15:50.000 We were on the ground.
02:15:51.000 We were just clinging to the table, just hanging on.
02:15:54.000 And Joey's screaming, and his sweat's flying off of him, and he's beet red.
02:16:00.000 Those are my favorite moments in life when someone hits those pops.
02:16:03.000 You don't get those pops when you do a sitcom.
02:16:05.000 You get a lot of money.
02:16:06.000 You get everybody making you bagels.
02:16:08.000 It's wonderful.
02:16:10.000 You got a parking spot.
02:16:11.000 But it's a velvet prison.
02:16:13.000 Do you think your insecurity rises when you are being coddled and treated like that?
02:16:18.000 Mine does.
02:16:19.000 Yeah, I was wondering.
02:16:20.000 Yeah, mine does.
02:16:21.000 I got fortunate in that when I did Fear Factor, I never stopped doing stand-up.
02:16:25.000 Never stopped.
02:16:26.000 I was always at the store.
02:16:28.000 Always.
02:16:28.000 I was scared.
02:16:30.000 Because I had fucked up during news radio. 0.98
02:16:32.000 When I was on news radio, I went for a long stretch where I was barely doing stand-up. 0.99
02:16:36.000 Because we were long hours.
02:16:38.000 When a sitcom is first getting...
02:16:40.000 It's trying to figure it out.
02:16:41.000 It's like 12-hour days.
02:16:42.000 Yeah, it's long.
02:16:42.000 I would do sets, but I wasn't writing any new material.
02:16:45.000 And then I had a writer, one of the writers, and one of the producers came to see me and I ate shit. 0.99
02:16:51.000 Woo! 1.00
02:16:52.000 Bombed hard.
02:16:53.000 In the main room, like a late show on a Friday night.
02:16:57.000 Friday or Saturday. 1.00
02:16:58.000 I ate shit. 1.00
02:16:59.000 I tanked. 1.00
02:17:01.000 I was so nervous.
02:17:02.000 And I see them, and they were real close.
02:17:03.000 They were like fourth row, and I'm like, oh my god, this is embarrassing.
02:17:06.000 And there was only maybe 30 people in the whole crowd.
02:17:09.000 It was a tiny crowd.
02:17:10.000 Ray Romano's in the back like, this is who you hire?
02:17:12.000 He was already killing it with Everybody Loves Raymond by then.
02:17:15.000 He was happy.
02:17:17.000 And Ray was a friend of mine, still is.
02:17:19.000 But I was happy that I didn't take his job.
02:17:22.000 I took the job of the dude who took his job.
02:17:24.000 Okay.
02:17:24.000 For me, it was like, okay.
02:17:26.000 That's hilarious.
02:17:26.000 This is okay.
02:17:27.000 But when I did that, I realized, okay, I'm fucking off here. 0.71
02:17:31.000 I'm just doing this sitcom and I'm losing the thing that I love. 0.80
02:17:36.000 I'm not good anymore. 0.98
02:17:37.000 I sucked. 0.83
02:17:39.000 And then a year later, I wound up doing my Warner Brothers special. 0.98
02:17:42.000 My Warner Brothers CD. I really got my shit together again. 0.95
02:17:45.000 I really did. 0.64
02:17:46.000 I started doing multiple sets around town.
02:17:48.000 I started writing a lot more.
02:17:50.000 I started really taking it seriously.
02:17:51.000 Because I realized, you can't do that.
02:17:53.000 You can't fall apart.
02:17:54.000 You can't just start bombing.
02:17:55.000 Nah, man.
02:17:56.000 Nah, man.
02:17:57.000 But you get soft, man.
02:17:58.000 You can get soft.
02:17:59.000 And they were making me soft, too.
02:18:01.000 One of the producers was like, why are you still doing stand-up?
02:18:03.000 You're an actor now.
02:18:07.000 But that's what everybody wanted.
02:18:09.000 Even Seinfeld took time off.
02:18:11.000 He did Seinfeld and then stopped doing stand-up.
02:18:13.000 A lot of people got brought into that trap.
02:18:16.000 Yeah.
02:18:16.000 You know, it's hard to get hired as a writer, too, because it's almost...
02:18:21.000 I'm learning.
02:18:23.000 It's almost like the difference between improv cats and stand-up cats, right?
02:18:29.000 So if you're a writer, if that's what you do, you write, then...
02:18:35.000 They may have a certain bias or feel a certain type of way towards a comic that writes.
02:18:40.000 And it's like, oh, okay.
02:18:42.000 It's like you deal with it everywhere.
02:18:45.000 Because you can always leave.
02:18:46.000 Always!
02:18:47.000 And you always have.
02:18:48.000 And you basically, you're sitting in a room and you got two jobs.
02:18:51.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:18:52.000 So it's like, we got this job, but I'm also going to do this other job.
02:18:55.000 Nobody with one job wants to sit next to somebody with two jobs.
02:19:00.000 I totally get it, you know what I mean?
02:19:02.000 Especially with comedy, because their comedy is kind of unproven.
02:19:05.000 They think they're funny, but how do you know you're funny?
02:19:08.000 How do you really know?
02:19:09.000 I've always wondered that.
02:19:10.000 I was like, that's a courageous thing to invest.
02:19:11.000 That is so courageous, right?
02:19:13.000 You're a comedy writer, and you don't even perform.
02:19:16.000 How do you know if it's funny?
02:19:18.000 Who told you you're funny?
02:19:19.000 I know.
02:19:19.000 Who told you?
02:19:20.000 Are you sure, Malcolm Gladwell?
02:19:25.000 No, because I really want to listen to him again.
02:19:27.000 We need to talk, man.
02:19:29.000 He's right and he's wrong.
02:19:31.000 If he was here right now, I'm sure he would see our perspectives.
02:19:34.000 Right, and then I could listen to him again because I miss it.
02:19:37.000 He's right, though.
02:19:38.000 In certain ways, he's right.
02:19:39.000 It's a very controlled environment.
02:19:41.000 Based on what he saw.
02:19:43.000 But you know what else?
02:19:44.000 I read an article by another guy.
02:19:46.000 Here's the thing that's happening, too.
02:19:47.000 People who aren't that strong in comedy...
02:19:51.000 Are writing articles about comedy.
02:19:53.000 You know what I mean?
02:19:54.000 Like in national.
02:19:56.000 Who wrote this?
02:19:58.000 I've seen him.
02:20:00.000 He's not.
02:20:00.000 What?
02:20:01.000 She's terrible.
02:20:02.000 Why are they speaking for us?
02:20:03.000 And you're like, comedians are not a monolith.
02:20:07.000 I read this article.
02:20:08.000 This woman wrote about men not being funny. 1.00
02:20:10.000 And I've seen her act talking about forcing men to eat her pussy. 1.00
02:20:13.000 And it's one of the worst bits I've ever seen in my life. 1.00
02:20:17.000 I'm like, this is hilarious.
02:20:17.000 That's hilarious.
02:20:19.000 But yet she was able to write that thing on that platform.
02:20:23.000 And it's like an amazing thing that's happening.
02:20:26.000 Everybody's a pundit.
02:20:27.000 Everybody's got an opinion.
02:20:28.000 Well, if there's money to be made in clicks, that's what it is.
02:20:33.000 Especially if you're writing an article shitting on someone who's done something wrong, like Louis C.K. or someone else, or Aziz Ansari, someone who's gotten in trouble.
02:20:41.000 Right.
02:20:41.000 Right.
02:20:41.000 And you go after them, and they know that, like, that's why the pylon happens, because it gets people's attention.
02:20:46.000 It's a very profitable, lucrative venture.
02:20:49.000 It is very, yeah.
02:20:50.000 Yeah.
02:20:50.000 But yeah, there's a lot of people writing stories or articles about comedy where they're dismissive.
02:20:58.000 They don't understand.
02:20:59.000 They don't really truly understand what they're talking about.
02:21:01.000 Yeah, it's like so many gaps.
02:21:03.000 You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this?
02:21:05.000 And yeah, all that stuff annoys me.
02:21:08.000 And, um...
02:21:10.000 I don't carry it much, but it was so funny because when I sat here, I was like, oh yeah, Malcolm Gladwell sat here.
02:21:15.000 Let me tell you about him.
02:21:18.000 Jerry Seinfeld did something like that one time too.
02:21:21.000 He was on HBO talking to Bob Costas about comedy.
02:21:25.000 I'm like, why is this happening?
02:21:27.000 And Jerry said, I don't know who the next people are.
02:21:30.000 These young comedians don't study.
02:21:33.000 I took great offense to that.
02:21:35.000 They don't study?
02:21:36.000 He said they don't study.
02:21:36.000 What does that mean?
02:21:37.000 He said they don't know, they don't study the craft, or they don't know, I guess, who came before them or whatever.
02:21:46.000 Generalizations like that are so crazy to say.
02:21:48.000 So I'm at Homosa Beach Comedy Magic Club, and Jimmy Brogan, who I call the comic whisperer, He goes, you know, Jerry's performing.
02:21:58.000 You want to come down?
02:21:59.000 Of course.
02:22:00.000 So I go watch Jerry perform, and then he invites me in the green room.
02:22:03.000 And when I see Jerry, I couldn't help myself.
02:22:05.000 I go, hey, man, you can't be going on TV saying comedians don't study.
02:22:10.000 He goes, I know you.
02:22:11.000 Hey, man, whatever, man.
02:22:12.000 Because I study.
02:22:13.000 You can't do that.
02:22:14.000 You're dismissing a whole generation.
02:22:16.000 People listen to you.
02:22:17.000 He goes, all right, man.
02:22:19.000 I'm fine.
02:22:19.000 You want a cigar?
02:22:20.000 Have a seat.
02:22:21.000 So then I sit down and I look to my left.
02:22:24.000 It's Jay Leno.
02:22:25.000 It's like Kevin Nealon.
02:22:26.000 It's like all these heavy hitters.
02:22:28.000 But I just saw him and just had to put it.
02:22:31.000 Hey, yo, what are you doing?
02:22:33.000 Yeah.
02:22:34.000 No, you're right.
02:22:35.000 But sometimes people say things and they're just talking.
02:22:37.000 They don't even know if they have a point.
02:22:39.000 They're just hoping they could formulate it as they're talking.
02:22:41.000 I don't know.
02:22:42.000 Right, but I can't let it go.
02:22:44.000 I'm like, I gotta find this guy!
02:22:45.000 You're right, and he was right too to let it go, to agree with you.
02:22:49.000 He was so chill.
02:22:49.000 He was like, hey, all right, man.
02:22:50.000 Want a cigar?
02:22:51.000 And I sat there.
02:22:52.000 That was easy.
02:22:53.000 Mark Norman, who's a friend of mine, does gigs with him.
02:22:55.000 He says he's great.
02:22:55.000 He said Jerry's a great guy.
02:22:57.000 I believe it, man.
02:22:57.000 And he just...
02:22:58.000 Well, he still is doing it, and he's got $500 million in the bank, and he's still doing it.
02:23:04.000 Dude, he's been doing it.
02:23:05.000 Well, since the 80s.
02:23:07.000 He's always working on it, honing it.
02:23:09.000 He still does it.
02:23:11.000 He still does it.
02:23:13.000 Legitimately.
02:23:14.000 Basically, he's one of those guys that did what you're telling me to do.
02:23:17.000 You've got to trust it all the way.
02:23:20.000 And you've just got to do it.
02:23:21.000 When you say, how do I write? 0.95
02:23:22.000 Some days when all I do is write comedy, I go, God damn, why don't I do this all the time? 0.92
02:23:26.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:23:27.000 Because I could take my bitch so... 1.00
02:23:29.000 Yes. 1.00
02:23:30.000 You know, and it's the best.
02:23:32.000 You know how you said that you're consistently inconsistent?
02:23:35.000 Yeah.
02:23:35.000 Oh, yeah.
02:23:35.000 That's a hallmark of a funny person.
02:23:38.000 It's a strange thing.
02:23:40.000 Like, most comics are...
02:23:42.000 We are very impulsive, crazy people.
02:23:45.000 Right.
02:23:46.000 You know, we don't necessarily have discipline.
02:23:49.000 Right.
02:23:49.000 You know?
02:23:50.000 I'm just very fortunate that I was involved in something else before comedy that required discipline because your fucking physical health is on the line. 0.99
02:23:59.000 Like, I had to have discipline. 0.99
02:24:00.000 I was gonna get my brains kicked in.
02:24:02.000 So, like, that transferred over to stand-up. 1.00
02:24:04.000 But it's so easy to fuck off, man. 0.99
02:24:06.000 When I come home from the comedy store and it's late at night, a lot of times I just want to go to sleep. 1.00
02:24:12.000 I don't want to do anything.
02:24:13.000 I want to watch TV. I want to fuck off. 1.00
02:24:14.000 But I sit in front of that goddamn laptop. 1.00
02:24:16.000 I sit in front of that laptop. 1.00
02:24:17.000 I'll spark a joint.
02:24:18.000 I'll go outside.
02:24:19.000 I'll spark a joint.
02:24:20.000 That's the best punch-up.
02:24:20.000 Stare at the sky.
02:24:22.000 Yeah.
02:24:22.000 Come back inside and stare at that laptop, and then I'll start writing.
02:24:25.000 And I'll force myself.
02:24:26.000 I'll say, I'm going to do one hour.
02:24:27.000 Maybe I'll do more than one hour, but I'm definitely going to do one hour.
02:24:30.000 And I set a timer.
02:24:30.000 That's the best punch-up.
02:24:32.000 Did I ever tell you my Mitch Hedberg story?
02:24:33.000 Which one?
02:24:34.000 I did Acid with him.
02:24:35.000 Whoa.
02:24:36.000 When I was 26. That's a great story.
02:24:38.000 Yeah, man.
02:24:38.000 So me and Mitch met at the Chicago Comedy Festival.
02:24:44.000 And we clicked, right?
02:24:46.000 And we walk around.
02:24:47.000 I was living in Chicago at the time.
02:24:48.000 And we walked around.
02:24:49.000 He was like, yo, oh, I'm about to be rich, man.
02:24:53.000 He had just signed this deal or whatever in Montreal.
02:24:56.000 I couldn't get Montreal to, like, look at me.
02:24:58.000 He had just crushed it in Montreal.
02:25:00.000 He goes...
02:25:01.000 I'm about to be rich, man.
02:25:02.000 He pulls out this Velcro wallet.
02:25:04.000 And he goes, you see this ring?
02:25:07.000 I live in Seattle.
02:25:08.000 I used to pawn this ring so I could eat.
02:25:11.000 And then I would go eat and get a gig and then buy it back.
02:25:15.000 I won't have to do that no more.
02:25:16.000 So he just sounds some big deal.
02:25:17.000 So he needed a shirt for his I think?
02:25:43.000 And he goes, when I decided I wanted to do comedy, I hit acid.
02:25:48.000 I took a hit of acid.
02:25:50.000 I got my notebook, and everything I saw, I wrote.
02:25:54.000 And I was like, I won't be funny like that!
02:25:56.000 So I did acid with him.
02:25:59.000 And we're both in this hotel room.
02:26:01.000 It was a woman who was a dealer. 1.00
02:26:03.000 And she came over in the hotel room.
02:26:07.000 And that's when I learned where cartoons come from. 0.99
02:26:09.000 Like, everything I saw was like a fucking cartoon. 0.99
02:26:11.000 And I was tripping, man. 1.00
02:26:13.000 And he videotaped me.
02:26:15.000 Tripping.
02:26:15.000 And I'm going...
02:26:16.000 Why is A, A? Why is B, B? Why is the letter green, green?
02:26:22.000 Who said green?
02:26:22.000 Who said the letter?
02:26:23.000 And I was doing it.
02:26:24.000 He's videotaping me and he literally goes, I clearly remember him going, you should do this on stage.
02:26:32.000 Take me some more.
02:26:33.000 And I go, stay, stay, stay!
02:26:35.000 I'm like scatting, man.
02:26:37.000 Right.
02:26:37.000 And I'm seeing all this thing.
02:26:39.000 And then I started...
02:26:42.000 I was on this whole thing. 1.00
02:26:45.000 All I kept thinking about was pussy, right? 1.00
02:26:47.000 And I was dating this girl. 0.99
02:26:50.000 And this is back when you used a calling card.
02:26:52.000 And I only knew two numbers by heart.
02:26:54.000 My mom's number and hers.
02:26:55.000 And I was like, I pray that I'm calling the girl.
02:26:57.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:26:59.000 As I was talking to her on the phone, and I was on the bed, and I was like, I want your pussy. 1.00
02:27:04.000 Like, all that shit. 1.00
02:27:04.000 She said, are you high? 1.00
02:27:05.000 You know, just fucking up the whole thing. 0.97
02:27:07.000 And I go, yeah, don't do anything. 0.78
02:27:10.000 Don't jump. 1.00
02:27:11.000 And I was like, why are you putting that shit in my head? 1.00
02:27:12.000 Like, because whatever she saw, I could see, like, I could physically see it. 1.00
02:27:18.000 And then I look over in the bed next to me, and Mitch is, like, fucking the girl that bought the thing. 1.00
02:27:25.000 And I'm like, oh, shit, I'm in an orgy, but not really. 1.00
02:27:27.000 Like... 1.00
02:27:30.000 I'm on the phone.
02:27:31.000 He's actually doing it.
02:27:32.000 I'm virtual reality. 0.99
02:27:34.000 And then, like, my body started shaking and the whole shit, like, left my body. 0.99
02:27:38.000 And so that's how, like, you know, that was my experience. 0.99
02:27:41.000 I never did it again.
02:27:42.000 Never desired to do it again, but I did it with Mitch.
02:27:45.000 And it was like this crazy thing.
02:27:48.000 And so we used to...
02:27:49.000 We would do colleges... 0.96
02:27:52.000 Separate of one another, and we would leave each other notes and shit, you know? 1.00
02:27:55.000 And he would be like, kill it, man, or whatever. 0.99
02:27:59.000 And one time I was doing some college in buttfuck Pennsylvania. 1.00
02:28:03.000 No, it was some buttfuck, but it was somewhere in Pennsylvania. 0.95
02:28:07.000 And he had just done, and that's when I learned about him passing. 1.00
02:28:10.000 Like, I was literally reading his note when I heard about the heroin shit. 0.99
02:28:14.000 And I was like, oh! 1.00
02:28:16.000 Oh, man.
02:28:16.000 So you were reading the note that he wrote to you?
02:28:19.000 That he wrote me when the news broke, like, did you hear about Mitch? 1.00
02:28:23.000 And it was like, fuck. 1.00
02:28:24.000 Yeah, man, yeah, man, yeah, man. 1.00
02:28:26.000 Me and Stan Hope were on the set.
02:28:28.000 Oh, I love him, man.
02:28:29.000 That's right, y'all did the show together.
02:28:31.000 Yeah, when we found out that he was real sick.
02:28:34.000 I was at his wedding.
02:28:34.000 Did you go to his wedding?
02:28:35.000 No.
02:28:37.000 I just happened to be in Vegas.
02:28:39.000 Whatever happened in Vegas, I was in that one.
02:28:41.000 The original, this was like many years ago.
02:28:43.000 Yeah.
02:28:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:28:45.000 I told them, what are you doing?
02:28:48.000 I didn't know I could say that to them.
02:28:51.000 I think I was in Vegas independent, but we were cool, so I was there like, yo, this is crazy.
02:28:56.000 Yeah, right after he was married, something happened where his girlfriend mouthed up to a cop and they bounced her head off the hood and arrested her.
02:29:04.000 Jesus, bro.
02:29:06.000 Anyway, we found out that Mitch had been brought to the hospital and they thought he was going to lose his leg because he had been shooting into this one same area and he got gangrene. 0.99
02:29:17.000 I was like, God damn... 0.75
02:29:18.000 And then he got free of that and he healed up, but he went right back to it. 0.99
02:29:25.000 He didn't have any desire to kick heroin.
02:29:28.000 It's really interesting.
02:29:30.000 And they call me the naive detective.
02:29:32.000 I never knew that he did that.
02:29:34.000 Because whenever I saw him, we were working out.
02:29:36.000 We would always go to the gym.
02:29:38.000 He was mad competitive.
02:29:39.000 He would run the treadmill.
02:29:41.000 Really?
02:29:41.000 Yeah, he was like...
02:29:43.000 He was competitive.
02:29:44.000 He liked me to open for him because he liked to work.
02:29:49.000 He didn't want me to hold back.
02:29:51.000 He was like, go man.
02:29:54.000 That's the side that I saw of him. 0.93
02:29:56.000 And then when he had to deal with the show and all of that shit, he would do material about it because it's such a different experience than from what he is. 0.98
02:30:08.000 Dealing with the notes of it all and all that shit. 0.96
02:30:11.000 He was like, yo, I pitched an idea. 0.77
02:30:13.000 I wanted to do this idea.
02:30:15.000 Yeah, the dream is not the reality.
02:30:18.000 But his dream was his stand-up.
02:30:22.000 To this day, I like to listen to his stand-up when I'm on my way to the airport.
02:30:26.000 Because it's stressful. 0.98
02:30:28.000 But his stand-up was so silly. 0.99
02:30:29.000 So silly. 0.99
02:30:31.000 One of my favorite jokes is his banana joke. 0.98
02:30:35.000 Somebody asked me, do I want a frozen banana?
02:30:37.000 I said, no.
02:30:38.000 But I want a regular banana later.
02:30:40.000 So, yes.
02:30:44.000 He had so much of that. 0.97
02:30:46.000 I just enjoyed that it was very silly. 0.75
02:30:50.000 I don't know when he got into the heroin. 0.90
02:30:56.000 I don't know when.
02:30:58.000 It's so crazy.
02:30:59.000 I knew he did his thing, but I think... 1.00
02:31:05.000 People just never did that shit in front of me. 1.00
02:31:07.000 Right. 1.00
02:31:07.000 No one ever did it in front of me either, but I knew they were doing it. 1.00
02:31:10.000 I had a buddy of mine in New York that died from it.
02:31:12.000 Wow.
02:31:13.000 He was snorting it. 1.00
02:31:14.000 Shit. 1.00
02:31:15.000 Yeah, but he got into pills and a lot of this. 1.00
02:31:17.000 That's what a lot of times they find out about Oxys. 1.00
02:31:19.000 Yeah.
02:31:20.000 They snort pills.
02:31:22.000 It's just opioids.
02:31:25.000 That crisis is something that's just swept through the entire world. 1.00
02:31:28.000 So many people are dying from that shit. 1.00
02:31:30.000 Yeah, man. 1.00
02:31:32.000 I've never done it, but I did get a morphine drip once when I had my knee fixed.
02:31:37.000 He was like, I get it.
02:31:40.000 Kept hitting that button.
02:31:41.000 I was like, oh.
02:31:42.000 You can hit the button every time you want some morphine.
02:31:44.000 That's what I hear.
02:31:45.000 It's a button.
02:31:46.000 And I just was like, wow.
02:31:48.000 It just made you feel like the world was filled with love.
02:31:51.000 Just caressing you.
02:31:53.000 Everything was love.
02:31:54.000 Like a womb feeling.
02:31:55.000 You're protected.
02:31:56.000 You're safe.
02:31:57.000 You're going to be okay.
02:31:58.000 Amazing.
02:31:59.000 Which makes sense that a lot of musicians and a lot of people wanted that because so many people that are like really super creative or they're kind of in pain.
02:32:07.000 A lot of those people are like, when you think of Nirvana, you think of Kurt Cobain, the screaming, all that, that's coming from a place of pain, right?
02:32:19.000 And then that dude would go off and do heroin.
02:32:21.000 Yeah.
02:32:23.000 Well, I'm glad you're not doing heroin, Owen.
02:32:25.000 Nah, fam.
02:32:26.000 I was always...
02:32:26.000 You know, Lenny Baez's passing of cocaine overdose scared me from doing anything because he was all muscle.
02:32:38.000 And I was like, if cocaine could take him down, I don't stand a chance.
02:32:43.000 I've never had a six-pack.
02:32:45.000 This dude...
02:32:47.000 Amazing, you know what I'm saying?
02:32:48.000 Yeah, super athlete. 1.00
02:32:49.000 When that happened, my brain was like, oh, that shit ain't for me. 1.00
02:32:52.000 And so, weed I do. 1.00
02:32:56.000 I did mushrooms once. 1.00
02:32:57.000 Shit, my pants. 1.00
02:33:00.000 On this dude's white couch. 1.00
02:33:02.000 Oh, no!
02:33:04.000 I secretly think I never liked that guy. 1.00
02:33:05.000 He was like an asshole to me. 1.00
02:33:07.000 But I just purposely just shit on his dumb white couch. 1.00
02:33:12.000 White carpet. 1.00
02:33:14.000 Ugh.
02:33:15.000 And I was like, alright man, see ya.
02:33:17.000 We gotta wrap this up, man.
02:33:18.000 It's 3 o'clock.
02:33:20.000 Text Owen.com.
02:33:21.000 Text Owen.com.
02:33:22.000 We'll be at the improv together Wednesday night for the 1030 show.
02:33:26.000 OwenSmith.com.
02:33:27.000 Is that your website?
02:33:28.000 OwenSmithLive.com.
02:33:30.000 Social media, Owen Smith for real.
02:33:32.000 But most importantly, go to textOwen.com and I'll send you...
02:33:35.000 Break his phone.
02:33:35.000 Try to break his phone.
02:33:37.000 Break his phone.
02:33:37.000 Break his phone.
02:33:37.000 Bye, everybody.
02:33:38.000 Bye.