The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1433 - Michael Yo

00:00:01.000 Two.

00:00:02.000 One.

00:00:04.000 Michael, yo!

00:00:05.000 I'm going on a big tour!

00:00:07.000 I know.

00:00:07.000 I'm so excited for you, bro.

00:00:09.000 I'm not missing shit. 0.97

00:00:10.000 You're wondering if I'm missing podcasts? 0.99

00:00:11.000 I only go on the weekends.

00:00:13.000 You don't go during the week?

00:00:14.000 Never.

00:00:15.000 Never.

00:00:16.000 I don't like to.

00:00:17.000 Why not?

00:00:18.000 Because I have a family.

00:00:18.000 I like to be home.

00:00:20.000 That's what's up right there.

00:00:21.000 Yeah.

00:00:21.000 I mean, when you can do what you want to do and be like, I'm going to be gone Friday and Saturday and be back by Sunday.

00:00:27.000 Yeah, that's the way to do it, man.

00:00:28.000 I've never done the touring thing.

00:00:31.000 Like, Kreischer and a lot of those people, they go out for like a month. 1.00

00:00:33.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:00:34.000 I get sad. 1.00

00:00:36.000 I feel bad.

00:00:36.000 I don't like it.

00:00:37.000 I have kids.

00:00:38.000 Well, I got two, too, and now I have a baby girl.

00:00:41.000 Yeah, you want to be home, man.

00:00:43.000 Dude!

00:00:43.000 And my baby girl, man, she looks at me like my son never looked at me before.

00:00:48.000 Oh, it's a different thing, right? 0.99

00:00:49.000 I don't know because I don't have sons, but everybody that has both says, whoa, the girls are just so loving and sweet and the sons are just trying to light shit on fire. 0.99

00:00:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:00.000 And they don't love the fathers.

00:01:03.000 My son could care less about me.

00:01:05.000 That's hilarious.

00:01:06.000 It's so true. 0.84

00:01:07.000 He loves my wife.

00:01:09.000 I mean, side by side all the time.

00:01:12.000 Really?

00:01:12.000 But already, my daughter, just at three months old, my wife will hold her, and she'll keep crying.

00:01:17.000 And as soon as I grab her, she stops.

00:01:19.000 I mean, it's amazing, dude. 1.00

00:01:21.000 As long as you guys don't start getting competitive about that shit. 0.99

00:01:23.000 Sometimes people get weird. 1.00

00:01:24.000 Oh, I'm a competitive father.

00:01:25.000 But I'm not going to compete against...

00:01:27.000 Your wife.

00:01:28.000 Oh, no, no, no.

00:01:29.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:01:29.000 Like, yeah, look at this.

00:01:30.000 The girl likes me more.

00:01:31.000 Hmm, how weird.

00:01:33.000 Maybe you're just not really a good mom?

00:01:36.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:01:37.000 I don't know.

00:01:38.000 What's your tour?

00:01:39.000 Where are you going?

00:01:40.000 Like, everywhere?

00:01:40.000 Everywhere, bro.

00:01:41.000 I'll tell you where I'm going.

00:01:42.000 Yeah.

00:01:42.000 Because I don't even know where I'm going, honestly.

00:01:44.000 I have to read it off.

00:01:46.000 I'm going to, starting off in Des Moines, Iowa, because someone's got to.

00:01:50.000 Yeah.

00:01:50.000 I do that because my friend John Dudley lives there.

00:01:53.000 So I'm like, fuck it, I'll come visit you. 0.99

00:01:55.000 I'll do a gig out there. 0.99

00:01:56.000 Like, legitimately.

00:01:57.000 I love that.

00:01:58.000 My buddy lives in Iowa.

00:01:59.000 You know who does that?

00:02:00.000 Bill Burr.

00:02:01.000 He loves football so much.

00:02:02.000 This is what I heard from some clubs, is he loves college football so much, he'll schedule tour dates around big games so he can be in the city already.

00:02:12.000 Oh yeah, he does that.

00:02:13.000 That's genius, man. 0.84

00:02:14.000 Well, Burr is a savage.

00:02:15.000 And he's also a man who does what he wants.

00:02:17.000 Yes.

00:02:18.000 He's a self-made man, Michael Yeo.

00:02:21.000 And then I'm going to Pittsburgh.

00:02:22.000 Love Pittsburgh.

00:02:23.000 Louisville.

00:02:24.000 Raleigh, North Carolina.

00:02:25.000 Charlotte, North Carolina.

00:02:27.000 Las Vegas.

00:02:28.000 Woo! 0.99

00:02:28.000 Fort Lauderdale. 0.99

00:02:29.000 Tampa and Orlando.

00:02:31.000 I do Florida like once every three years.

00:02:32.000 And every time I do Florida, I come back and I go...

00:02:36.000 You don't like it?

00:02:37.000 Crazy place.

00:02:37.000 I do.

00:02:37.000 I love it.

00:02:38.000 I was about to say.

00:02:38.000 It's crazy.

00:02:40.000 They're barely Americans. 0.98

00:02:42.000 Barely Americans. 0.91

00:02:43.000 And I say this with love.

00:02:44.000 My sister lives there.

00:02:45.000 Well, there's a lot of rednecks in Tampa, too. 1.00

00:02:47.000 They're fucking animals. 1.00

00:02:48.000 No disrespect. 1.00

00:02:49.000 I love Tampa.

00:02:51.000 Yeah, I'm going to...

00:02:51.000 Where else am I going?

00:02:53.000 Tampa, Orlando.

00:02:54.000 Oh, there it is.

00:02:54.000 Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Orlando, Philadelphia, Lincoln, Nebraska.

00:02:58.000 I've never been to Lincoln, Nebraska.

00:03:00.000 Are you doing the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale?

00:03:02.000 Are you doing the big arena?

00:03:04.000 I'm doing an arena.

00:03:05.000 Okay.

00:03:05.000 Yeah.

00:03:06.000 I've done the hard rock, though.

00:03:07.000 It's great.

00:03:08.000 Yeah, they opened up a new...

00:03:10.000 The hard rock just opened up.

00:03:11.000 They have the guitar now.

00:03:12.000 This whole new...

00:03:13.000 A guitar?

00:03:14.000 Yeah, they changed the whole hotel to a guitar, a glass guitar.

00:03:18.000 What?

00:03:18.000 Really?

00:03:19.000 Oh, you've got to show the picture.

00:03:20.000 It's insane.

00:03:21.000 So they changed the whole thing.

00:03:23.000 Really?

00:03:23.000 And they have like a 8,000 seater now, 10,000 seater.

00:03:28.000 Really?

00:03:28.000 In there?

00:03:29.000 Fort Lauderdale.

00:03:29.000 Yeah, Fort Lauderdale.

00:03:30.000 It's a great gig.

00:03:31.000 Fort Lauderdale's a lot of fun.

00:03:32.000 It's amazing.

00:03:34.000 And then I'm doing Nebraska.

00:03:35.000 I've never been to Nebraska in my life.

00:03:37.000 I don't think.

00:03:38.000 I'm doing Lincoln, Nebraska.

00:03:40.000 Crazy.

00:03:41.000 My wife's father's from... 1.00

00:03:43.000 Look at that shit. 1.00

00:03:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:44.000 Wow, they built a giant fucking guitar. 1.00

00:03:47.000 That's the hotel rooms. 1.00

00:03:48.000 Designed to resemble back-to-back guitars.

00:03:51.000 Well, there you go.

00:03:53.000 I've never been to Oklahoma either, I don't think, and I'm doing Tulsa, Oklahoma.

00:03:57.000 I'm doing Madison Square Garden in New York.

00:04:01.000 Yes!

00:04:02.000 Then I'm doing the Boston Garden the next week.

00:04:04.000 And then I'm doing LA. I'm doing the Forum.

00:04:06.000 And then I'm doing Milwaukee.

00:04:09.000 And then I'm doing Wichita, Kansas.

00:04:11.000 Come on, kids! 1.00

00:04:13.000 And then Fresno, California to wrap this bitch up. 1.00

00:04:16.000 Are you doing any more dates with Dave Chappelle? 0.98

00:04:18.000 Because I know you've got one coming up.

00:04:19.000 We have two.

00:04:20.000 Two?

00:04:20.000 Yeah, we have two.

00:04:21.000 We've got one in New Orleans and one in...

00:04:24.000 It's not on there.

00:04:26.000 No.

00:04:26.000 No, that's all mine.

00:04:27.000 But you got one.

00:04:28.000 One in New Orleans and one in...

00:04:30.000 Is it Denver?

00:04:30.000 Nashville.

00:04:31.000 Nashville.

00:04:32.000 Yeah.

00:04:32.000 I think I'm going to go to the Nashville one.

00:04:33.000 Come on down, Michael.

00:04:35.000 Yeah.

00:04:35.000 We have tons of friends.

00:04:37.000 I love Nashville. 1.00

00:04:38.000 Nashville's a great fucking city. 1.00

00:04:40.000 Do you ever want to not live here? 1.00

00:04:42.000 Yes.

00:04:43.000 Yes.

00:04:43.000 All the time.

00:04:45.000 Where would you move?

00:04:46.000 I moved to Denver, I think.

00:04:48.000 Denver's a great town.

00:04:50.000 Yeah.

00:04:50.000 Nashville or Denver for me?

00:04:52.000 Yeah.

00:04:52.000 When I think about it, I think about a couple places.

00:04:55.000 I think of Salt Lake City, like Park City, like that area.

00:04:59.000 I think of that.

00:05:00.000 But I would never live there full-time, just because my family likes skiing.

00:05:03.000 I think of Montana.

00:05:05.000 I think of Bozeman, Montana.

00:05:06.000 I love Bozeman.

00:05:06.000 Yeah.

00:05:07.000 Just because of the mountains and the beauty.

00:05:08.000 Do you ski, though?

00:05:09.000 I do, but reluctantly.

00:05:11.000 Yeah.

00:05:12.000 I only ski because they like it.

00:05:13.000 It'll mess up your knees, man. 0.99

00:05:14.000 I fucked up my knee this winter. 0.99

00:05:15.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.99

00:05:16.000 And it wasn't even my fault, man.

00:05:18.000 This lady slid. 1.00

00:05:19.000 She was a newbie. 1.00

00:05:20.000 She didn't know what the fuck she was doing, and she was trying to put her shit on, and she slid right into the trail right when I was coming around this corner. 1.00

00:05:27.000 I'm like, God damn it. 1.00

00:05:28.000 I knew if I hit her, she was a goner. 1.00

00:05:30.000 That bitch was going to get broken up. 1.00

00:05:32.000 So I went around her, and I wiped out, and I got a fracture of my shin, actually. 0.99

00:05:36.000 Really?

00:05:36.000 Yeah, I've got something called an insufficiency fracture.

00:05:39.000 It's like where my shin bone hits my cartilage.

00:05:42.000 It's fairly lucky, really, because it just requires like six to eight weeks of doing not much.

00:05:48.000 So no running for me.

00:05:49.000 I've just been hiking with my dog and I lift weights. 0.99

00:05:52.000 It's not, you know, it lets me know every now and then, like, hey, fuckface, settle down. 0.98

00:05:57.000 But I've been doing yoga. 0.98

00:05:58.000 I've been doing a lot of my normal stuff.

00:06:00.000 I can't kick the bag.

00:06:01.000 But it's not bad.

00:06:02.000 It's not bad.

00:06:03.000 As far as injuries go, it'll heal up.

00:06:04.000 I skied once, and I almost took out four kids.

00:06:07.000 Oh, Jesus, kids.

00:06:08.000 Yeah, like literally would have killed those kids.

00:06:10.000 I couldn't stop. 0.89

00:06:11.000 I couldn't stop.

00:06:12.000 Oh, no, you're a big guy.

00:06:13.000 And I'm a big guy.

00:06:14.000 So I was going at these four kids and their parents were screaming, stop, stop!

00:06:18.000 And I just wound it up rolling down the hill.

00:06:21.000 And so I was like, alright, I'm done.

00:06:23.000 I don't ever need to ski again.

00:06:25.000 The key is to stay on those green ones.

00:06:28.000 Stay on the easy ones.

00:06:29.000 I was on an easy one.

00:06:31.000 The easy baby ones are so much better.

00:06:33.000 My kids... 1.00

00:06:34.000 My 11-year-old is a fucking psycho. 1.00

00:06:36.000 She's like, I want to do double black diamond. 1.00

00:06:38.000 She does all the black ones, all the black diamonds.

00:06:40.000 Those are so hard, man.

00:06:42.000 They're so... 1.00

00:06:42.000 But when you're like fucking... 1.00

00:06:44.000 She's probably like... 1.00

00:06:46.000 80 pounds, I guess?

00:06:47.000 Yeah.

00:06:47.000 It's not that bad.

00:06:48.000 You fall, like, nothing happens.

00:06:50.000 They bounce right back up.

00:06:51.000 But you're also so low to the ground, and you're made out of rubber back then. 0.98

00:06:55.000 They're all, like, flexible and shit. 0.98

00:06:58.000 When you're old, bro, you hit the ground, your back's like... 0.99

00:07:02.000 What really bothered me was my head.

00:07:03.000 When I wiped, I went around the corner to try to get away from this lady. 1.00

00:07:07.000 I tried to turn around her. 0.98

00:07:09.000 And my skis went up, and when I went down, I hit my head pretty fucking hard. 0.91

00:07:13.000 And I had a helmet on, for sure. 0.81

00:07:15.000 But still, even with a helmet on, my bell got rung.

00:07:18.000 Like, I was dizzy, and I was a little confused and disoriented for, like, the rest of the day.

00:07:22.000 I definitely got rocked.

00:07:24.000 Like, if it was a fight, I would have the doctor, like, checking my eyes with a flashlight.

00:07:28.000 Have you gotten concussions before?

00:07:30.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:31.000 Okay.

00:07:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:33.000 But when we got them, it wasn't a big deal.

00:07:34.000 They were like, oh, go back in.

00:07:36.000 I've probably been hit in the head a thousand times.

00:07:40.000 I don't even know how many times I've been hit in the head.

00:07:42.000 From all the days of sparring and fighting, I don't know how many times.

00:07:47.000 It's been a lot.

00:07:48.000 But that was a big one.

00:07:50.000 Like recent.

00:07:51.000 I haven't had a recent head injury.

00:07:53.000 Like a recent bang of the head.

00:07:54.000 That's called success.

00:07:56.000 You don't need to get hit in the head.

00:07:58.000 You don't need to get hit in the head.

00:08:00.000 Plan ahead.

00:08:01.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm okay.

00:08:02.000 Everything's fine.

00:08:03.000 But it's head injuries are very touch and go, man.

00:08:06.000 Very touch and go.

00:08:07.000 I still want to get checked out because I got knocked out in football practice.

00:08:11.000 And this was in college at the University of Arkansas.

00:08:14.000 And I played outside linebacker.

00:08:17.000 And a guard pulled and hit me right here in the temple.

00:08:20.000 I was out.

00:08:22.000 I woke up in like ICU. And I still get headaches.

00:08:25.000 I've always gotten headaches all my life, but, you know, I watch different programs.

00:08:29.000 I go, hey, are you having headaches?

00:08:31.000 Maybe you should go in to see a doctor.

00:08:32.000 And I'm like, you know what?

00:08:33.000 Maybe I should get another MRI. You know what's really crazy?

00:08:36.000 How many years people have been alive?

00:08:38.000 People have been alive.

00:08:39.000 I mean, we've been human beings have been around for a quarter million more or more years, depending upon who you ask.

00:08:45.000 And how long have they really known about chronic traumatic encephalopathy?

00:08:49.000 Is that how you say it?

00:08:51.000 Encephalopathy?

00:08:51.000 How do you say it?

00:08:54.000 Yeah.

00:08:55.000 The movie Concussion, wasn't that the guy that discovered it?

00:08:59.000 Well, I don't know if he discovered it.

00:09:01.000 He's the one that brought it to life.

00:09:02.000 He brought it to life.

00:09:03.000 And he was the one who was explaining how all of these football players have it.

00:09:10.000 You know what's really interesting? 0.94

00:09:10.000 I saw an article about him that was kind of shitting on him lately. 0.94

00:09:15.000 Encephalopathy. 0.98

00:09:16.000 That's it.

00:09:17.000 Chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

00:09:19.000 Neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries. 1.00

00:09:23.000 Fucking A, man. 0.98

00:09:24.000 And my parents threw me in football when I was like eight years old. 0.99

00:09:27.000 So I was taking hits.

00:09:28.000 Look at this.

00:09:29.000 Symptoms may include behavioral problems.

00:09:31.000 Got that.

00:09:32.000 Mood problems.

00:09:32.000 Got that.

00:09:33.000 Problems with thinking.

00:09:34.000 Definitely got that.

00:09:35.000 Symptoms typically do not begin until years after the injuries.

00:09:38.000 Check.

00:09:39.000 CT often gets worse over time and can result in dementia. 0.98

00:09:44.000 Why is the guy getting shitted on, you said? 0.87

00:09:46.000 Oh, there was an article recently that was saying that he is profiting off... 0.97

00:09:51.000 It's most likely someone trying to discredit...

00:09:54.000 Like, have you noticed all the negative Bernie Sanders ads or articles that have been written lately?

00:10:00.000 Like, really crazy ones.

00:10:02.000 Like, saying...

00:10:04.000 Calling him a climate change denialist, which is 100% not true.

00:10:08.000 You know, there's so many...

00:10:10.000 Here it is.

00:10:11.000 From scientist to salesman.

00:10:13.000 How Bennett Omalu, doctor of concussion fame, built a career on distorted science.

00:10:18.000 Yeah, I don't know if what they're doing...

00:10:22.000 It's the Washington Post, which is another one that...

00:10:25.000 They're also the ones that ran that thing on Bernie with climate change denial. 0.99

00:10:31.000 God damn it, media. 1.00

00:10:32.000 There's so much horse shit going on in the news. 1.00

00:10:34.000 I can't watch it anymore. 1.00

00:10:36.000 It's just reading it and watching it.

00:10:37.000 It's like so much of it is biased and distorted and they're trying to paint a perception of someone instead of just laying out the facts in an objective way.

00:10:49.000 It's just so much of that going on now.

00:10:51.000 I feel like it's a very unfortunate case, but I feel like one of the things that's happened is because of subscription models for newspapers, things like Washington Post, New York Times, they have to be outrageous.

00:11:03.000 Like sometimes in my Google News feed, I'll get a story and I'll click on it and then it'll say to subscribe, go here. 1.00

00:11:10.000 Oh, well, fuck you. 1.00

00:11:11.000 So they got me to click on it with the click-baity shit, and I bet, you know, one out of a hundred or whatever will follow through and give them the credit card information and subscribe. 1.00

00:11:20.000 But they're almost starving to death. 0.99

00:11:23.000 Someone told me that the New York Times only survives because of their podcast now.

00:11:27.000 Oh, it's The Daily.

00:11:28.000 Yeah, The Daily is, I used to listen to it a lot, but it's a thing where I think news, when we watch news, it's more salacious than entertainment news.

00:11:37.000 I remember, you know, they're all about the headlines, and here's what, like, they just had this democratic, you know, where they went against each other, the debate, and the next day on the news, All they showed was the same five clips of Elizabeth Warren going after this person,

00:11:56.000 Bernie Sanders going after that person.

00:11:57.000 And they have 24 hours to at least tell you the good things they said.

00:12:02.000 Like, give me some policies or something.

00:12:04.000 But no.

00:12:05.000 They're just going to show you those five clips.

00:12:07.000 And that's what the debate...

00:12:09.000 And then they're going, we don't understand why everybody's mad.

00:12:11.000 Because you're only putting five clips of that...

00:12:14.000 Where all the candidates are mad at each other.

00:12:15.000 The news is a big part of the division right now.

00:12:19.000 And I feel like it's worse.

00:12:20.000 Like, entertainment news is supposed to be like Brad, Angelina, Jennifer Aniston.

00:12:25.000 But now you have politicians.

00:12:27.000 Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders.

00:12:29.000 Like, they're doing the same thing that we did in entertainment news.

00:12:32.000 You're 100% right.

00:12:33.000 And I think they're doing that because it's a business and they have to stay alive.

00:12:37.000 It's ratings.

00:12:38.000 But...

00:12:38.000 I would love it if one channel existed that didn't do that.

00:12:42.000 One channel existed that was 100% unbiased.

00:12:45.000 These are the facts as we know them. 0.99

00:12:47.000 Some old school Walter Cronkite type shit. 0.99

00:12:50.000 But can you do that nowadays and survive? 1.00

00:12:51.000 I don't know why you can't.

00:12:52.000 I don't know.

00:12:53.000 Because it's about ratings.

00:12:54.000 It's a good question.

00:12:55.000 It's a good question.

00:12:55.000 Can you?

00:12:56.000 It's like we're so personality driven these days.

00:12:59.000 Everything's personality driven.

00:13:00.000 It's so hard.

00:13:01.000 It's hard to trust people. 0.54

00:13:02.000 You know, it's like when you see these hit pieces that are written about Bernie Sanders and you know it's horseshit, that's where, like, when you know something's horseshit, that's when you go, oh, wow, look what you're doing.

00:13:13.000 And then you see a bunch of other news articles that are similar and that are on similar left-leaning publications or similar establishment-connected publications.

00:13:25.000 And you go, oh, this is like a sort of a concentrated effort to try to minimize his campaign.

00:13:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:30.000 But even when it's bullshit, somebody's going to believe it. 0.99

00:13:32.000 A lot of people believe it. 0.99

00:13:33.000 A lot of people believe that stuff.

00:13:35.000 Well, it's a certain number are going to believe it.

00:13:37.000 What's really interesting to me is that Bernie Sanders just keeps winning.

00:13:41.000 He keeps winning.

00:13:42.000 He won Nevada.

00:13:43.000 He's won three in a row.

00:13:44.000 And they're trying to bullshit us and pretend that Pete Buttigieg, he's got a chance. 0.91

00:13:48.000 He's got zero chance. 0.97

00:13:50.000 That guy's got zero chance.

00:13:51.000 How do you see it all playing out?

00:13:53.000 Bernie Sanders, 100%. 1.00

00:13:54.000 The only way it's not going to happen is if they give him some fucking CIA injection into his coffee one day and his fucking chamomile tea to give a little squirt in there. 1.00

00:14:03.000 I mean, the guy already had a goddamn heart attack, which is crazy that he's doing this well. 1.00

00:14:08.000 He had a heart attack on the campaign trail. 0.99

00:14:10.000 I mean, bro, this is like, if you have a car and you're driving it over to the guy's house who wants to buy it and one of your cylinders blows... 0.99

00:14:19.000 He's still like, that's a good car, I'll fucking take it. 0.94

00:14:22.000 That guy, he needs that car. 0.98

00:14:24.000 That's how much America needs Bernie Sanders. 0.99

00:14:26.000 This motherfucker had a heart attack running for president, and they're like, so what? 0.99

00:14:30.000 He's still alive. 1.00

00:14:31.000 Let's go.

00:14:32.000 He's still alive.

00:14:33.000 Let's go.

00:14:33.000 But what's interesting to me, and we were talking about it at this benefit you did, you came out and made this statement about Bernie Sanders.

00:14:41.000 He was losing at that time.

00:14:43.000 He was not the frontrunner and after you said that, he became the frontrunner.

00:14:48.000 I really believe you had a lot to do with that.

00:14:51.000 I don't know about that.

00:14:52.000 I mean, you have a huge audience, man.

00:14:53.000 It might have had something to do with it, but that's why they attacked me, which is hilarious.

00:14:57.000 They did exactly what I said you can do about a person.

00:15:01.000 I said, if you take all the worst aspects of a person and ignore everything else and just magnify those, you can paint a very distorted perception of someone.

00:15:08.000 And so they're like, good, let's do that to him. 1.00

00:15:10.000 Let's make Bernie Sanders look like a piece of shit for using that. 0.99

00:15:12.000 Well, also the fact that he used the most wishy-washy endorsement ever. 1.00

00:15:16.000 What I said is I'll probably vote for him.

00:15:19.000 And they're like, run with it!

00:15:20.000 I might!

00:15:21.000 Run with it! 0.77

00:15:21.000 I like it! 0.77

00:15:22.000 I might vote for him!

00:15:24.000 Listen, man, I always say this, this is very important. 1.00

00:15:26.000 If you get in your politics from me, you're fucked. 0.99

00:15:29.000 Because I'm not the guy. 0.99

00:15:30.000 Listen to Kyle Kalinske, listen to Jimmy Dore, listen to the people that are really paying attention, listen to The Hill, people that are really on top of it, where it's their business.

00:15:39.000 It's not my business.

00:15:41.000 My business is stand-up comedy and cage fighting, and a few other things.

00:15:45.000 I'm a comedian, like you, you know? 0.99

00:15:47.000 We talk about shit, but I'm no expert. 0.98

00:15:49.000 But I like what Bernie stands for socially. 0.99

00:15:53.000 I like what he stands for socially.

00:15:54.000 When he explained how he was going to put a very small tax on Wall Street speculation, We're good to go.

00:16:31.000 No, I want to see the two of them, like him and someone who opposes his ideas, who actually understands the economics of it, and discuss it in a long-form Like a YouTube video.

00:16:49.000 Make a YouTube video.

00:16:50.000 Everyone would watch it.

00:16:52.000 Have Bernie Sanders sit down with someone who's an economist or a mathematician or someone who understands it.

00:16:57.000 And let's find out if that really would work and how it would work.

00:17:02.000 Same thing goes with education.

00:17:04.000 Same thing goes with healthcare.

00:17:05.000 How are you going to pay for these things?

00:17:07.000 Is it feasible?

00:17:08.000 Is it possible to do this?

00:17:09.000 Where's the fat that we're going to cut?

00:17:11.000 How much taxes are you going to raise?

00:17:13.000 And who are you going to raise the taxes on?

00:17:15.000 And how is it going to be done?

00:17:16.000 And where's that money going to go?

00:17:17.000 Now...

00:17:19.000 Do you believe that if you're Bernie Sanders, you have to talk about that information?

00:17:23.000 Because we have a president that didn't give any information.

00:17:27.000 I feel now politics is, I'm going to give as least information as I can, so they can't use it against me.

00:17:34.000 And it works, obviously, because you have a guy like that in the White House.

00:17:37.000 So if I'm Bernie Sanders, why would I tell you how much everything's going to cost?

00:17:40.000 With Trump, the personality overshadowed everything else.

00:17:45.000 His personality overshadowed all of his shortcomings.

00:17:48.000 So because of the fact that he could say things like, when he was talking about China, you know, you could go to China, and you ever see that video?

00:17:56.000 Which one was that? 0.99

00:17:57.000 Where he explains to China, or you could say, listen motherfuckers, have you ever seen that video? 0.99

00:18:00.000 No. 0.99

00:18:01.000 Pull that video up, because it's one of my favorite Trump speeches.

00:18:03.000 It's like, this is what people love about Donald Trump, the fact that he would say this.

00:18:08.000 Think about who Obama was, right?

00:18:10.000 Obama, this, like, articulate statesman who you were proud that that was the representative of America.

00:18:16.000 He spoke so well.

00:18:17.000 He was so measured, so educated.

00:18:20.000 Donald Trump is not that.

00:18:22.000 Do you feel that some American people, since Obama was like that, felt like he was speaking down to them?

00:18:28.000 For sure.

00:18:28.000 Okay.

00:18:29.000 Dummies.

00:18:30.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:18:30.000 Dummies don't like smart people. 0.98

00:18:31.000 Yeah. 0.89

00:18:32.000 That's always the case, you know, but...

00:18:34.000 I don't think he was ever speaking down to people.

00:18:37.000 He's a very measured person.

00:18:38.000 I don't either, but some people get upset about that.

00:18:41.000 Oh, he doesn't speak his mind.

00:18:43.000 He doesn't say what he wants to say.

00:18:44.000 There's some people that don't like him because he's a liberal. 0.86

00:18:47.000 There's some people that don't like him because he's black.

00:18:49.000 There's some people that don't like him because he's young.

00:18:51.000 There's some people that don't like him because he went to Harvard.

00:18:53.000 Here it is.

00:18:53.000 Listen to this.

00:18:55.000 Listen, play this, because this is one of my favorite Trump speeches ever.

00:18:58.000 He said, well, what would you do?

00:18:59.000 What can you do?

00:19:00.000 So easy.

00:19:02.000 So easy.

00:19:03.000 I drop a 25% tax on China.

00:19:08.000 And you know, I said to somebody that is really the messenger.

00:19:12.000 The messenger is important.

00:19:13.000 I could have one man say, we're going to tax you 25%. 1.00

00:19:18.000 And I could say another, listen you motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25%. 1.00

00:19:28.000 You said the same exact thing. 1.00

00:19:32.000 He does not give a shit. 1.00

00:19:35.000 He doesn't. 0.99

00:19:36.000 And here's the thing. 1.00

00:19:37.000 People keep saying he's dumb. 0.99

00:19:38.000 He's not dumb. 0.99

00:19:39.000 He's just not concentrating on the things that intelligent people concentrate on. 0.77

00:19:46.000 Wait.

00:19:47.000 He's concentrating on money.

00:19:48.000 Money?

00:19:49.000 Himself?

00:19:49.000 He's concentrating on his ego.

00:19:50.000 Himself.

00:19:51.000 He's not concentrating on...

00:19:53.000 I mean, when he's talking, he's not talking about the great literary works.

00:19:57.000 He's not talking about great philosophers or great historians.

00:20:01.000 These are not things that he's concentrating on.

00:20:03.000 His whole life...

00:20:04.000 He has a sharp mind. 0.97

00:20:05.000 But his whole life, he's been concentrating on Donald Trump, and Donald Trump kicking ass, and Donald Trump's name, and Donald Trump's ego, and filling that ego, and cheating at golf, and doing all the things that he wants to do whenever he wants to do them. 0.94

00:20:17.000 That's what he concentrated on. 0.99

00:20:18.000 It doesn't mean that he's dumb. 0.77

00:20:20.000 And that's why people get distracted. 0.64

00:20:22.000 They get confused.

00:20:23.000 I agree with you on that, but what I'm surprised about, look, and I don't care what side of Finch you're on, but what I'm surprised about is some people believe he's doing things for the country's best interest, not for his own.

00:20:36.000 Well, he's definitely doing things for his best interest.

00:20:39.000 100%.

00:20:40.000 And also probably doing things that he thinks are for the country's best interest as well.

00:20:46.000 I don't think all of what he's doing is just for him.

00:20:49.000 Because you wouldn't be president if you did that.

00:20:52.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:20:53.000 Because the beating that you take in terms of like, well, it's also your ego boost.

00:20:58.000 But he's also getting rid of everyone that opposes him.

00:21:01.000 Well, that's how he runs all of his businesses.

00:21:04.000 Exactly.

00:21:05.000 So that's how you would run a company.

00:21:07.000 And the guy's 73 years old, right?

00:21:10.000 When you're that old, you don't change. 0.95

00:21:13.000 I mean, the way he runs companies, to expect him to do any different once he became president is kind of silly.

00:21:19.000 That's how he's become successful. 0.99

00:21:21.000 I mean, that's why his fucking name is on these giant buildings all over the world, right? 0.99

00:21:25.000 It's like it's this ego thing and the way he does business. 1.00

00:21:28.000 I'm the fucking boss. 1.00

00:21:29.000 Listen, you motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25%. 1.00

00:21:31.000 That's his attitude. 1.00

00:21:32.000 That's his thought. 1.00

00:21:33.000 Some people love that shit. 1.00

00:21:35.000 Oh no, I know a lot of people that love it. 1.00

00:21:37.000 People are attracted to the strong man. 1.00

00:21:40.000 The strong, confident man who tells everyone to fuck off and they want to align with them. 0.99

00:21:44.000 Because most people feel like they don't have a voice in life. 0.99

00:21:47.000 They don't feel like they feel frustrated.

00:21:50.000 They owe money.

00:21:52.000 It's a lot of poor people, which is really ironic, right? 0.96

00:21:54.000 Because his policies don't give a fuck about poor people. 0.94

00:21:58.000 He talks about the working people. 0.98

00:22:01.000 He doesn't care, no.

00:22:02.000 To get them to vote for him.

00:22:03.000 He cares about him in that way because they are very valuable to him.

00:22:07.000 But why do they latch on to him?

00:22:09.000 Because they don't have that voice that he has?

00:22:11.000 Well, it's that, right?

00:22:13.000 People are very tribal.

00:22:15.000 They want a leader of a team.

00:22:17.000 And you're seeing that with Bernie Sanders.

00:22:18.000 You clearly saw that with Elizabeth Warren.

00:22:20.000 So many women were clinging to Elizabeth Warren. 1.00

00:22:23.000 They wanted to call Bernie Sanders a misogynist and this and that.

00:22:26.000 And what they were doing is they're just Team Warren.

00:22:29.000 I'm on Team Warren.

00:22:30.000 They didn't want to paint...

00:22:33.000 An objective opinion of him like, well, he's got some good policies and he's got some questionable economic theories and I don't know whether or not they're accurate, but this is why Elizabeth Warren stands out to me and as a mother and as a woman, I think it would be great to have a woman in the White House and I'm biased in that direction.

00:22:48.000 People don't say that.

00:22:49.000 No.

00:22:49.000 They don't say that.

00:22:50.000 They don't say that.

00:22:50.000 They're tribal.

00:22:51.000 They're on Team Warren. 1.00

00:22:52.000 Fuck everybody else. 1.00

00:22:53.000 And that's how people are. 1.00

00:22:54.000 But it's just that you're not making any progress.

00:22:57.000 You're just as bad as the other side.

00:22:58.000 You're blaming the other side for doing that.

00:23:00.000 But yet, I see, to me, Trump is so right for that party.

00:23:05.000 He's doing his own thing.

00:23:06.000 Where now, Bernie, I feel like...

00:23:09.000 I always feel there's an overcorrection.

00:23:11.000 Me Too was an overcorrection.

00:23:12.000 I think now, Bernie will probably get it.

00:23:15.000 Because that's the left's answer for overcorrection.

00:23:18.000 Yes, I think you're 100% right, and I think that's what's going on.

00:23:21.000 I think AOC and a lot of other people are also part of this sort of philosophy of overcorrection, which is probably good.

00:23:28.000 I think we need that. 0.94

00:23:29.000 I think people go back and forth, and we need to find our fucking equilibrium, and that's what humans do. 0.97

00:23:35.000 You know, look, things are getting better, man. 0.98

00:23:37.000 I'm a fucking rock-solid optimist. 0.99

00:23:39.000 I think even the Me Too shit, what that is is... 0.98

00:23:43.000 I mean, I have a bit about it, and I can't really talk too much about it without giving up the bit. 0.98

00:23:47.000 I heard it. 0.91

00:23:48.000 It's fucking hilarious, dude. 0.98

00:23:49.000 It's hilarious. 0.98

00:23:50.000 But the thought process behind it is that...

00:23:54.000 Ultimately, the direction is moving towards less bad things.

00:24:00.000 And I think that's the same thing with even woke culture.

00:24:03.000 Like, I'm a critic of woke culture. 0.93

00:24:05.000 I think a lot of it is ridiculous and I think a lot of it is tribal. 1.00

00:24:08.000 It's the same kind of shit. 1.00

00:24:09.000 It's like people decide they're on team ultra-progressive and, you know, and then everybody else can go fuck off and they want to attack those people and force those people to comply. 1.00

00:24:18.000 It's like a thought war. 0.98

00:24:20.000 And that's what's going on. 0.88

00:24:21.000 But when you look at the tenets of woke culture, cut out all the horseshit, what are they trying to do? 0.95

00:24:28.000 They're trying to have less homophobia, less racism, less sexism. 0.90

00:24:33.000 They want more inclusiveness.

00:24:34.000 They want more people to have opportunities.

00:24:36.000 That's great.

00:24:37.000 That's all great. 1.00

00:24:38.000 It's just, they're going about it in this militant, psychotic way, wearing ski masks, and professors are hitting people over the head with bike locks, and everybody's losing their fucking mind. 0.99

00:24:47.000 They won't even let conservative people speak at universities in a debate. 0.99

00:24:52.000 That stuff is wrong, but I understand what that is.

00:24:55.000 That's just rabid tribalism, and that's an overcorrection, and that needs to be called out, and it needs to be stopped, because the only way to really find out who you agree with is to let both sides talk.

00:25:09.000 That's the only way.

00:25:12.000 This infantile perception of people, including young people, that a lot of people on the left have, is that you don't even want to hear people with questionable ideas speak because then they're going to radicalize young people and people are going to get drawn to them.

00:25:29.000 Well, that's a very egotistical perspective. 0.99

00:25:31.000 It's like, I can see they're full of shit, but these young people are not going to be able to. 1.00

00:25:36.000 And I'm smarter than them, and I want to stop them from being able to speak. 1.00

00:25:40.000 I don't like when people get mad when you have questions.

00:25:44.000 If you ask a question...

00:25:46.000 To a different party or a different movement and they don't like your question?

00:25:50.000 They get mad at you.

00:25:51.000 They get mad at you and then they'll attack you. 1.00

00:25:53.000 But it's fools. 0.99

00:25:54.000 But it's because it's people that don't understand all the tenets of rational discourse. 0.99

00:26:00.000 You need those.

00:26:02.000 Do you know what the four agreements are?

00:26:03.000 You ever heard of Don Miguel Ruiz, the four agreements?

00:26:07.000 It's a great book, and it's really simple.

00:26:11.000 It's a small book.

00:26:12.000 It's an easy read.

00:26:13.000 But the four tenets are, first of all, be impeccable with your word.

00:26:18.000 Always do your best.

00:26:20.000 Don't take anything personal.

00:26:22.000 And I think the other one is, like, don't have any expectations.

00:26:24.000 I think that's the other one.

00:26:26.000 Here they are.

00:26:27.000 Don't make assumptions.

00:26:28.000 That's what it is.

00:26:29.000 Don't make assumptions.

00:26:30.000 Always do your best.

00:26:31.000 Don't take anything personally.

00:26:33.000 And be impeccable with your word.

00:26:35.000 Now, if you just apply those, and a lot of people are like, how does this relate?

00:26:39.000 The way this relates, this is a philosophy on just going through life.

00:26:43.000 And all of these tenets, be impeccable with your word, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions, always do your best.

00:26:50.000 These are anti-tribal Tenants. 0.54

00:26:53.000 This is a way to not get sucked into this, like, really biased tribal perception that a lot of people get sucked into.

00:27:02.000 And they get sucked into this team mentality, and they get blinders on, and they can't see things for what they are.

00:27:08.000 We have a real problem with wanting to be in tribes, and it's just a part of our DNA. It's a part of our nature.

00:27:14.000 It's how we survive to the 21st century.

00:27:17.000 I mean, we survive by teaming up and having this loyalty to the people in our group to fight against the invaders who want to take our women and our food.

00:27:25.000 It's all fight.

00:27:26.000 I mean, that goes from politics to even religion.

00:27:29.000 That's your tribe.

00:27:30.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

00:27:32.000 And if you question a tribe, then they all come after you.

00:27:35.000 I mean, it's with everything, man.

00:27:37.000 It's with everything.

00:27:37.000 It's with sports teams.

00:27:38.000 It's with the part of the country you live in.

00:27:40.000 It's with the style of eating.

00:27:42.000 It's veganism versus carnivore. 0.99

00:27:45.000 It's fucking everything we do. 0.99

00:27:47.000 We break off into tribal groups, man. 0.99

00:27:50.000 It's like people are into American cars only, and people only buy electric.

00:27:56.000 Guns.

00:27:56.000 Yes, with everything, man.

00:27:58.000 No one should have a gun.

00:27:59.000 Everyone should have a gun.

00:28:01.000 And by the way, those people that no one should have a gun or everyone should have a gun, they're the same person.

00:28:06.000 They don't even realize it.

00:28:07.000 They don't even realize it.

00:28:08.000 They just needed the right amount of influence, the right people around them, the right positive reactions from those people around them.

00:28:21.000 All of the debate that comes from one side versus all the debate that comes from the other side, so much of the mindsets are similar.

00:28:30.000 So much of that absolute mindset, whether it's absolute left wing or absolute right wing, it's so similar.

00:28:35.000 You know what I hate is, I think we're at a point in the country where everybody wants to think their problem is bigger than your problem.

00:28:41.000 Yeah.

00:28:42.000 And so it's like, well, I'm gay.

00:28:44.000 Well, I'm black and gay. 0.72

00:28:45.000 Well, I'm black, gay, and this.

00:28:47.000 So it's a thing where everybody, we can't acknowledge there's problems.

00:28:52.000 Yes.

00:28:53.000 But we have to say, my problem is bigger than your problem, so you need to listen to me.

00:28:58.000 Yeah.

00:28:58.000 It's like, no, let's just say everybody has problems, and let's address them, rather than you being the big problem.

00:29:04.000 And also, kindness and understanding.

00:29:07.000 Those two things are so giant.

00:29:09.000 And whenever people just start attacking people, you realize, okay, there's no kindness there, there's no understanding there.

00:29:14.000 And that's why you're doing that.

00:29:16.000 If you had kindness and understanding, you temper your words, you take a deep breath, and you go, well, I assume she's just trying to do her best.

00:29:22.000 Or I assume he's just trying to get by, just like all of us.

00:29:25.000 And that kindness and understanding goes a long fucking way. 1.00

00:29:29.000 Because as soon as you dehumanize someone, as soon as you say, you know, hey, he's on the left, fuck him, he wants to take away your money and turn American to Cuba, fuck you! 1.00

00:29:37.000 You know, like that kind of nonsense, man. 1.00

00:29:39.000 I read a book called Never Split the Difference.

00:29:43.000 Have you read that one?

00:29:45.000 It's amazing, bro.

00:29:46.000 It's about an old FBI terrorist negotiator.

00:29:52.000 And basically the book tells you how to talk to people.

00:29:57.000 Like he took that tactic they use in the FBI to bring it to real life business and everything.

00:30:02.000 How to talk to people where you can get them on your side.

00:30:04.000 And just certain questions you ask where instead of them helping you, well it turns it from me asking you to do something to you wanting to do it.

00:30:13.000 It's brilliant.

00:30:15.000 I use it in real life every day.

00:30:18.000 How do you use it?

00:30:19.000 Well, it's about the how question.

00:30:21.000 You know, for instance, you're negotiating a price on something.

00:30:26.000 Somebody says, I want to do the Joe Rogan Podcast Studio, and it comes in at $20,000.

00:30:31.000 And you go, you know what?

00:30:33.000 How can we make this...

00:30:36.000 Where it's not as much.

00:30:37.000 How can we lower this price?

00:30:39.000 So instead of you going, hey, I need a lower price.

00:30:42.000 And they go, no, it's $20,000.

00:30:44.000 You go, how can we get this lower?

00:30:47.000 Now, all the onus is on them to try to figure out your problem.

00:30:51.000 So you're basically putting your...

00:30:53.000 They're trying to figure out your problem for you instead of you figuring out the problem. 0.94

00:30:58.000 You fucked up by telling people this because then they're going to go, uh, we can't. 0.99

00:31:01.000 I know. 1.00

00:31:02.000 And then you're stuck.

00:31:03.000 It's like you're playing chess here.

00:31:05.000 I know.

00:31:05.000 But they just like, check.

00:31:07.000 I just forgot about how many millions watched this. 0.99

00:31:10.000 Now people are going to be taking shit away from me now. 0.99

00:31:12.000 They were like, oh, you did that to us? 0.99

00:31:14.000 Oh, I see what you're doing. 1.00

00:31:15.000 I see what you did, you motherfucker. 1.00

00:31:17.000 You went with the how. 1.00

00:31:18.000 You came with the how question.

00:31:19.000 I do it to my wife.

00:31:21.000 But she knows I read the...

00:31:22.000 Every time my wife is at the house and I'm just kind of chilling, I go, how can I help you?

00:31:27.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:31:28.000 What are you doing?

00:31:30.000 Why don't you just get out of the room?

00:31:31.000 No, no, no.

00:31:32.000 When I ask that, she always goes, oh, nothing.

00:31:35.000 But when I'm doing nothing, and don't ask her, there's always something to do.

00:31:39.000 Oh, I get it.

00:31:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:31:41.000 Yeah, it's a thing where if somebody, you're just putting the onus on them.

00:31:46.000 And it's a fun, like, never split the difference.

00:31:48.000 It's a game changer, man.

00:31:50.000 Yeah.

00:31:51.000 That's interesting.

00:31:52.000 Yeah, there's all sorts of weird techniques that people have used in negotiations, interrogations.

00:31:58.000 Interrogation techniques are very interesting.

00:32:00.000 How they catch people lying by repeating what they said back to them and having them repeat it again.

00:32:07.000 He talks about that, too.

00:32:08.000 Yeah, because he had to do that.

00:32:10.000 He had to know over the phone, though.

00:32:13.000 I think?

00:32:32.000 You don't want to fight with the captors.

00:32:35.000 Right.

00:32:35.000 You have to talk to them in a civilized manner to get these people out.

00:32:40.000 That is some high-pressure shit, man. 1.00

00:32:41.000 Imagine you're dealing with ISIS or some shit. 1.00

00:32:45.000 You're trying to get hostages back. 0.95

00:32:47.000 You're trying to communicate with them and trying to figure out what's the best way to do this without using drones.

00:32:52.000 Well, you use drones.

00:32:53.000 Everybody's gone.

00:32:54.000 Yeah, not anymore.

00:32:56.000 They're pretty good now.

00:32:57.000 When they took out al-Baghdadi, no, that wasn't al-Baghdadi, Soleimani, they only killed one other person.

00:33:05.000 Yeah, they're good at it now.

00:33:06.000 It's scary.

00:33:07.000 Well, look, it's going to get scarier.

00:33:08.000 They're going to be able to get drones down to, like, I mean, they used to call them, they used to talk about the precision of drones.

00:33:16.000 But really, like, a lot of times they were blowing up entire buildings and killing a ton of innocent people. 0.98

00:33:21.000 Like, the numbers of innocent people that have overall been killed by drones is fucking staggering. 0.97

00:33:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:33:27.000 If it was a cop... 0.99

00:33:29.000 If a cop had done what drones had done, you would be like, that guy is a fucking psychopath, and he's just trying to kill people. 1.00

00:33:36.000 Like, the decision that a cop would make, there's a bad guy in this building, so I'm gonna blow up the whole fucking building. 1.00

00:33:42.000 Like, you go, what? 1.00

00:33:44.000 You're gonna do what?

00:33:45.000 Like, there's weird decisions that you're allowed to make in two cases.

00:33:49.000 One, war, and two, when it's not a human doing it, per se.

00:33:54.000 It's a human piloting a drone.

00:33:57.000 Well, I mean, what was that movie with the...

00:34:00.000 It was these animals, these mechanical animals killing everybody.

00:34:04.000 And the movie had that...

00:34:05.000 It was like this dog type of creature.

00:34:07.000 It was a big movie.

00:34:08.000 I forgot what the name of it was.

00:34:10.000 Mechanical animals killing people.

00:34:11.000 Yeah, it's...

00:34:12.000 They have all these robots now.

00:34:14.000 It's a robot.

00:34:14.000 I think Black Mirror, the Black Mirror episode.

00:34:16.000 Oh, you're right.

00:34:17.000 It was a Black Mirror episode.

00:34:18.000 It was a Black Mirror episode.

00:34:19.000 It was one episode.

00:34:19.000 Yeah, I saw that one.

00:34:20.000 But man, like these robots, they're jumping over things.

00:34:23.000 Like...

00:34:25.000 The mafia can just buy robots now to go do hits for people.

00:34:29.000 I don't know if they got that kind of money.

00:34:31.000 I think it would be more like the federal government using our money. 0.97

00:34:35.000 That's what's fucked up about the government. 0.94

00:34:38.000 They're using our money. 0.98

00:34:39.000 They don't even have to give you a sheet.

00:34:41.000 Say if you pay taxes, and you make a good living, you probably have to pay a hefty sum of taxes.

00:34:46.000 They don't send you, hey Michael, we used all this money on education, we fixed the streets with this money that you sent, so you should feel happy that you're contributing to society.

00:34:55.000 No, no invoice. 1.00

00:34:56.000 Fuck you, pay us. 1.00

00:34:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:57.000 And if you don't pay us, they Wesley Snipes you. 1.00

00:34:59.000 They just send you to fucking jail. 1.00

00:35:01.000 They Lauren Hill you. 1.00

00:35:01.000 They just send you to jail. 1.00

00:35:03.000 They don't even let you pay it off. 0.98

00:35:05.000 They don't say, hey, fuckface, you owe us $3 million, you have to pay this off, and this is how we're going to force you to pay it off. 0.97

00:35:11.000 And Wesley's like, look, good, I'm sorry, I'm going to go back to work, I'm going to make that money, give me a couple years to pay it off, and I'll pay it off. 1.00

00:35:18.000 No, no, no, fuck you, go to jail. 1.00

00:35:20.000 So you can't even make any money while you're in jail. 1.00

00:35:22.000 So now you're more in the hole when you get out.

00:35:24.000 So they put you in jail, but that doesn't take any money off.

00:35:26.000 No!

00:35:28.000 No, you still owe all that money.

00:35:31.000 Wesley Snipes had to do more than a year in jail.

00:35:34.000 Ugh.

00:35:35.000 Yeah.

00:35:36.000 Well...

00:35:37.000 So did Lauryn Hill. 0.95

00:35:37.000 I believe Lauryn Hill did a year in jail. 0.95

00:35:40.000 I mean...

00:35:41.000 These taxes, man. 1.00

00:35:42.000 Fucking taxes. 1.00

00:35:43.000 These taxes. 1.00

00:35:43.000 That's the only thing where you owe money. 1.00

00:35:45.000 They put you in a fucking box. 0.99

00:35:48.000 They don't do that with anything else. 1.00

00:35:49.000 If you owed money on your mortgage, you just have to pay it.

00:35:52.000 You know, if you had credit card debt, you just have to pay it. 1.00

00:35:55.000 But if you have IRS debt, fuck you. 1.00

00:35:58.000 Yeah, you're going to jail. 1.00

00:35:59.000 They make... 0.76

00:36:00.000 It's like they're thugs, man. 0.60

00:36:01.000 They make an example out of you.

00:36:03.000 See, and by you saying that, you better watch out.

00:36:05.000 I pay my taxes.

00:36:06.000 I pay my taxes.

00:36:07.000 I always have.

00:36:08.000 And I think you should pay your taxes.

00:36:09.000 Mm-hmm.

00:36:10.000 I've never ever tried any sort of manipulation to try to pay lower taxes.

00:36:16.000 I don't think about it.

00:36:18.000 I'm very happy that I get to live in America.

00:36:20.000 I'm very happy that we have this incredible system where you literally can be a person who's struggling and go on to become incredibly successful.

00:36:28.000 We don't have a caste system in this country.

00:36:30.000 It's not perfect.

00:36:31.000 It's definitely not equal. 0.98

00:36:33.000 There's definitely people that grow up in terrible environments and impoverished, crime-ridden, gang-ridden neighborhoods, and they're way more fucked than I ever was growing up.

00:36:42.000 However, you can go from a kid like me who was on welfare when he was young and, you know, when I was a little boy, and Go on to become someone who can make money in this country.

00:36:53.000 You can have an influence.

00:36:55.000 You can do something.

00:36:56.000 I'm proud to pay my taxes.

00:36:57.000 I never complain about it.

00:36:59.000 I mean, it's a staggering sum of money when you really think about it.

00:37:01.000 But I'm proud to pay it.

00:37:03.000 I think we all should be.

00:37:04.000 But I don't know what they're dealing with it.

00:37:06.000 Why?

00:37:07.000 Well, I tell you this.

00:37:08.000 My dad pays all...

00:37:11.000 Wesley did three years?

00:37:12.000 Three years?

00:37:13.000 Three years.

00:37:14.000 And no money.

00:37:15.000 You're making no money.

00:37:16.000 And bro, when you're like 52, like how old was he when you went away?

00:37:20.000 It was 2010. 10?

00:37:24.000 So he's probably...

00:37:25.000 He was sentenced in 2008 and he went in in 2010. How old is he?

00:37:31.000 He's now 57. Okay, so he was like 47. So when he was 47...

00:37:37.000 He got out at 50. Jesus Christ.

00:37:40.000 Those are important years, man.

00:37:42.000 Yeah.

00:37:43.000 Man.

00:37:43.000 Just doing push-ups and playing cards.

00:37:45.000 And here's the thing. 1.00

00:37:46.000 Hoping you don't get fucked. 0.99

00:37:47.000 With the IRS, my dad pays all his taxes, but they messed up on his taxes. 1.00

00:37:52.000 They thought he was Jordan Peele.

00:37:53.000 They did.

00:37:54.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:37:59.000 This guy makes way more money than that! 1.00

00:38:01.000 Have you seen his fucking movies? 1.00

00:38:04.000 My dad looks exactly like Jordan Peele. 1.00

00:38:06.000 Have you seen the pictures of his dad and Jordan Peele?

00:38:08.000 Jamie, pull the pictures out.

00:38:10.000 Jordan Peele did way less though, by the way.

00:38:12.000 How much time did she do?

00:38:13.000 Three months.

00:38:15.000 Well, I think what was going on there was Wesley was a part of some wacky group that was saying that you don't have to pay taxes because it's unconstitutional.

00:38:27.000 How did that work out for you?

00:38:28.000 The same way people get locked into thinking the earth is flat.

00:38:30.000 You talk to a couple people that are very convincing and charismatic and articulate, and you're like, really?

00:38:35.000 Next thing you know, you're launching off in the sky.

00:38:37.000 I got 10 years of tax protester, as he was called.

00:38:40.000 Oh, so his tax protester is probably still in the pokey.

00:38:42.000 Maybe.

00:38:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:45.000 Look at that!

00:38:46.000 Come on, son!

00:38:46.000 That's your dad!

00:38:47.000 Dude!

00:38:48.000 DNA test coming.

00:38:49.000 That's crazy.

00:38:50.000 Right?

00:38:51.000 I mean, that is absolutely perfect.

00:38:53.000 Like, if there was ever a Michael Yeo movie, that guy is playing your dad for sure.

00:38:58.000 100%.

00:38:58.000 That's crazy.

00:38:59.000 I know.

00:39:00.000 Like, it's not even a little different.

00:39:02.000 That's exactly the same.

00:39:03.000 Exactly.

00:39:04.000 He looks exactly like your dad.

00:39:06.000 Amazing.

00:39:08.000 The only thing that's different is the beard.

00:39:10.000 Yeah.

00:39:10.000 Like, you take away the beard, that's the same person.

00:39:12.000 That's fucking stunning. 0.99

00:39:14.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:39:15.000 That's a doppelganger, bro.

00:39:17.000 That's a real doppelganger.

00:39:19.000 I mean, bro, look at that.

00:39:21.000 I know.

00:39:23.000 I've never seen one that good.

00:39:25.000 No, I was just looking through Instagram, and I was like, because people have mentioned it to me that have met my dad and seen pictures, and I'm going, ah, whatever.

00:39:34.000 But then I found those two pictures.

00:39:35.000 I was like, dude.

00:39:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:36.000 This is the same fucking person, man. 1.00

00:39:39.000 This is the same person. 1.00

00:39:40.000 You know how they have those things where you see Keanu Reeves in a 1920s photo and you're like, Keanu Reeves is a fucking time traveler. 0.96

00:39:47.000 Occasionally someone would look like someone. 0.93

00:39:49.000 I've seen some photos of me in the Middle East. 0.99

00:39:52.000 Like, Joe Rogan really lives in Pakistan or some shit. 0.89

00:39:55.000 But that is about as good as I've ever seen. 0.98

00:39:59.000 And it's not a blurry picture.

00:40:02.000 No, it's perfect.

00:40:03.000 That's the difference.

00:40:03.000 Yeah.

00:40:03.000 Yeah, like the Keanu Reeves one.

00:40:06.000 Isn't there a Keanu Reeves one?

00:40:07.000 It's black and white, though, and kind of fuzzy, right?

00:40:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.95

00:40:10.000 Like, he looks like he might be in the Old West or some shit. 0.85

00:40:13.000 A bunch of famous time travelers. 0.96

00:40:14.000 Eddie Murphy.

00:40:15.000 Yeah.

00:40:15.000 Nick Cage.

00:40:16.000 Let me see an Eddie Murphy one.

00:40:17.000 Oh, the Eddie Murphy one is...

00:40:18.000 Nah.

00:40:19.000 Nah, not really.

00:40:20.000 That's just...

00:40:20.000 That's just like...

00:40:21.000 That could be Eddie Murphy's brother.

00:40:23.000 Nicolas Cage?

00:40:24.000 Nicolas Cage.

00:40:25.000 Eh.

00:40:26.000 A little bit.

00:40:27.000 Yeah.

00:40:27.000 A little bit.

00:40:28.000 Pretty close.

00:40:29.000 Who else?

00:40:30.000 Charlie Sheen.

00:40:31.000 Bruce Willis.

00:40:31.000 Look at Charlie...

00:40:33.000 Oh, wow.

00:40:34.000 Yeah, that's close.

00:40:35.000 Wow.

00:40:35.000 Who is that guy?

00:40:36.000 Charlie Sheen.

00:40:37.000 Looks like Lincoln a little bit.

00:40:39.000 With no beard?

00:40:41.000 Kinda.

00:40:41.000 Sort of.

00:40:42.000 The Bruce Willis one's kind of stunning.

00:40:45.000 I think a lot of people draw these.

00:40:47.000 Like make them look old.

00:40:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:40:50.000 David Schwimmer. 0.99

00:40:52.000 Damn, that's pretty accurate. 0.99

00:40:53.000 I don't think these are real. 0.99

00:40:55.000 Really?

00:40:56.000 Only my dad's is real.

00:40:58.000 What is the Jennifer Lawrence one? 0.99

00:41:00.000 Damn. 0.99

00:41:01.000 That's pretty cool. 0.99

00:41:01.000 No, it's not. 0.99

00:41:02.000 Not really.

00:41:03.000 It's black and white.

00:41:04.000 Where's the Keanu Reeves one?

00:41:06.000 That's what I want to say.

00:41:08.000 Yeah.

00:41:09.000 Well, you know, there's only so many different shapes a person's face.

00:41:12.000 Wow, the Justin Timberlake one's pretty accurate.

00:41:14.000 There's Keanu Reeves. 0.99

00:41:15.000 Goddamn time traveler. 1.00

00:41:17.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:41:17.000 What's crazy is how good that guy looks. 1.00

00:41:21.000 1530, there he is.

00:41:22.000 Once.

00:41:23.000 Born once.

00:41:25.000 1875, I'm not buying that one.

00:41:27.000 Yeah, no.

00:41:28.000 That's just another handsome man. 0.99

00:41:29.000 He was probably throwing tons of dick around in 1875, right? 0.98

00:41:35.000 That guy doesn't look like him either. 0.99

00:41:37.000 That guy on the right?

00:41:38.000 No, those aren't even close.

00:41:39.000 Those are not close.

00:41:40.000 But I know which one you're talking about.

00:41:41.000 They had a black and white one that was like, he was kind of behind the photo, kind of looking in.

00:41:45.000 Yeah, I remember that one.

00:41:46.000 Your dad set the standard, though.

00:41:48.000 It's over now.

00:41:49.000 That should go viral.

00:41:50.000 That one needs to go viral.

00:41:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:52.000 It's one of these pictures where it doesn't...

00:41:55.000 Yeah.

00:41:55.000 There's one where it looks like a guy has a cell phone and a weird thing.

00:41:57.000 Well, this is...

00:41:58.000 But then people are photoshopping themselves.

00:41:59.000 Yeah, that's the thing today.

00:42:01.000 It's so weird.

00:42:02.000 Photoshops are so strange.

00:42:04.000 And real looking.

00:42:05.000 So real.

00:42:05.000 You can't tell.

00:42:06.000 You can't tell.

00:42:07.000 You watch Kyle Dunnigan's Instagram page?

00:42:10.000 No.

00:42:11.000 I don't know who that is.

00:42:12.000 Oh my goodness, I'm so happy now.

00:42:14.000 Wait, who's this?

00:42:15.000 I want to know.

00:42:16.000 I'm so happy.

00:42:16.000 I get to turn you on to Kyle Dunnigan.

00:42:18.000 Go with Kyle Dunnigan where he's talking to, where Trump is talking to one of the Kardashians and he's trying to buzzer into the White House.

00:42:28.000 I like that one.

00:42:29.000 Yeah, dude. 0.99

00:42:30.000 Kyle Dunnigan is the funniest motherfucker on Instagram. 0.99

00:42:34.000 100%. 0.99

00:42:34.000 He's got these face swap videos. 0.99

00:42:37.000 It's pretty far back.

00:42:38.000 He's got a lot more videos now because he's 600,000.

00:42:41.000 He's murdering it.

00:42:42.000 When we first started talking about him, he had like 2,000.

00:42:46.000 He does face swaps, and they're really obviously not that person, so it makes it even funnier, almost like South Park-ish, right? 0.75

00:42:54.000 But then he has amazing impressions, and he has these fucking hilarious videos.

00:43:00.000 So he voices the people? 0.92

00:43:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:03.000 Go large and start from the beginning.

00:43:08.000 And give me some volume.

00:43:09.000 Okay, I'm at the side door.

00:43:12.000 Okay, I'll buzz you in.

00:43:13.000 The door's closed.

00:43:16.000 Yeah, you gotta push it.

00:43:19.000 It's locked.

00:43:21.000 Yeah, wait until I buzz you.

00:43:24.000 Okay, push it.

00:43:29.000 Why did you open it?

00:43:31.000 There was a weird buzzing noise.

00:43:34.000 Yeah, that means open the door.

00:43:38.000 It's locked.

00:43:40.000 You have to wait until I buzz you.

00:43:43.000 Jesus Christ.

00:43:49.000 Look at your eyes.

00:43:51.000 Look at your eyes.

00:43:51.000 But I just got here.

00:43:53.000 No, go in the door. 0.87

00:43:55.000 But I can't go in the door.

00:43:57.000 It's a solid. 1.00

00:43:58.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:44:00.000 No offense, but this would have been a lot funnier if I was in it. 0.99

00:44:03.000 Yeah, baby! 1.00

00:44:05.000 So he does it.

00:44:06.000 Caitlyn Jenner. 1.00

00:44:06.000 See if you can go back to Caitlyn Jenner where she was describing her new pussy to the girls. 1.00

00:44:12.000 They're all getting grossed out. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Kyle Dunaham?

00:44:15.000 Dunagan.

00:44:16.000 Stand-up comic.

00:44:17.000 Funny guy.

00:44:18.000 Very funny guy.

00:44:20.000 Yeah, his...

00:44:22.000 Yeah, here it goes.

00:44:24.000 Look at this.

00:44:24.000 She's pregnant.

00:44:25.000 Listen to this.

00:44:25.000 Hey, girls!

00:44:26.000 Congrats on all the pregnancies! 0.96

00:44:28.000 Yeah!

00:44:30.000 Hey, guess what?

00:44:34.000 Caitlyn's preggers, too! 0.99

00:44:36.000 Yeah, baby! 1.00

00:44:38.000 Wait, what?

00:44:41.000 I bought a crack baby and put it in my cooch.

00:44:44.000 Oh.

00:44:45.000 How does it breathe?

00:44:47.000 Babies can breathe in the womb. 0.68

00:44:50.000 That's right.

00:44:51.000 Babies can breathe in the womb. 0.68

00:44:53.000 That's right.

00:44:54.000 Do you have a womb? 1.00

00:44:57.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:44:58.000 I guess it's dead. 1.00

00:44:59.000 I better go plop this thing out before I get septic shock.

00:45:02.000 Oh my god, Todd.

00:45:04.000 Yeah.

00:45:05.000 Your lip gloss is on fleek.

00:45:08.000 It's Kylie's. 1.00

00:45:10.000 Shut up. 0.99

00:45:10.000 Yeah, isn't it nice? 0.99

00:45:11.000 That's amazing.

00:45:13.000 Yeah, very nice.

00:45:17.000 I love how he keeps the stubble on when he's doing Caitlyn.

00:45:21.000 Like, he knows the Caitlyn ones, all the ones with the stubble on.

00:45:24.000 He shoots all the Caitlyns in one day while he has the stubble on. 1.00

00:45:27.000 It's KyleDunnigan1, I think, right?

00:45:29.000 Is that what it is?

00:45:29.000 His Instagram handle?

00:45:31.000 KyleDunnigan1.com.

00:45:33.000 Funniest guy on Instagram.

00:45:34.000 And that's just one of them.

00:45:35.000 Dude, I check him every week just to make sure I haven't missed any.

00:45:39.000 He does a great Bill Maher that Bill Maher hated.

00:45:42.000 Really? 0.99

00:45:42.000 Fucking hated it. 0.99

00:45:43.000 Did you bring it up to Bill Maher? 1.00

00:45:44.000 Yes, I did.

00:45:45.000 Bill Maher didn't want to hear it.

00:45:46.000 Didn't want to see it.

00:45:47.000 Got angry.

00:45:48.000 And I go, oh, come on.

00:45:50.000 Really?

00:45:51.000 I'm like, bro.

00:45:52.000 He does a great Ray Liotto, too.

00:45:54.000 Yeah, Bill Maher pretended he hadn't seen it.

00:45:57.000 We were all talking about it.

00:45:58.000 Did you feel like he had seen it?

00:45:59.000 A hundred percent!

00:46:02.000 A hundred percent.

00:46:03.000 He just, for some reason, thinks that...

00:46:05.000 He has a hard time with people making fun of him, which is...

00:46:08.000 Come on, you're a public guy.

00:46:11.000 Look how good it is.

00:46:11.000 I'd like to tell you, young people, about the true meaning of Christmas.

00:46:15.000 Would you like to hear that?

00:46:18.000 Okay.

00:46:19.000 So, you were told that God put a miracle baby in a virgin.

00:46:24.000 But the truth is, Joseph got Mary pregnant.

00:46:28.000 Okay? 0.98

00:46:30.000 Back then they stoned women who had premarital sex. 1.00

00:46:33.000 So they came up with a lie. 1.00

00:46:35.000 A lie so big that stupid morons like you... 1.00

00:46:38.000 What? 1.00

00:46:39.000 He voiced that?

00:46:40.000 Yeah.

00:46:40.000 That's dead on.

00:46:42.000 Sorry.

00:46:42.000 What'd you do?

00:46:43.000 I hit big and it redid the whole thing.

00:46:45.000 Would you like to hear that?

00:46:46.000 Good lie.

00:46:47.000 They stole it from pagan religions. 0.99

00:46:49.000 December 25th, virgin births.

00:46:52.000 Google it, snowflakes.

00:46:55.000 Did you really think that God would put his baby in a 13-year-old girl, yes, Mary was 13, and then just leave her to fend for herself?

00:47:04.000 He's God.

00:47:05.000 Wouldn't he at least get her a ride?

00:47:08.000 Yeah.

00:47:09.000 That's dead on.

00:47:10.000 He didn't like it.

00:47:11.000 But you didn't get a chance to play it.

00:47:13.000 No, you wouldn't.

00:47:14.000 He's very forceful.

00:47:17.000 Very aggressive.

00:47:19.000 And he accused me of not watching his show.

00:47:21.000 It was hilarious.

00:47:22.000 I told him some episodes that I watched.

00:47:23.000 That was ten years ago.

00:47:26.000 Oh, is he one of those?

00:47:27.000 Is he one of those?

00:47:28.000 I don't need another fan.

00:47:29.000 I'm like, okay, I like your show.

00:47:34.000 But I'm sure it's gotten more awkward with somebody else in here.

00:47:37.000 Or was that...

00:47:38.000 Oh, yeah!

00:47:39.000 Okay.

00:47:40.000 Way more.

00:47:41.000 Yeah, he wasn't the most awkward.

00:47:43.000 What's the most awkward thing ever happened on the pod?

00:47:44.000 I don't know.

00:47:45.000 Can we move on to greener pastures?

00:47:47.000 Oh, my God.

00:47:48.000 Go over awkward things.

00:47:52.000 It's just comedians that don't like being poked fun of.

00:47:54.000 It's like, mmm, that's weird.

00:47:56.000 Like, if it's good, you know?

00:47:58.000 Well, you know what's funny is a lot of roasters, people that are great at roasting, do not like to be made fun of.

00:48:04.000 Mmm, of course.

00:48:05.000 It's so true. 0.84

00:48:07.000 Yeah.

00:48:08.000 I'm not going to mention any names, but I know like three that if you make fun of them...

00:48:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:15.000 You know that old expression about hoes? 1.00

00:48:17.000 About the girls who complain about girls being hoes are the biggest hoes? 1.00

00:48:22.000 Right?

00:48:23.000 Everyone knows that's a fact.

00:48:25.000 That's a fact. 1.00

00:48:26.000 That bitch is such a fucking slut. 1.00

00:48:27.000 Like, mm-hmm. 1.00

00:48:30.000 What's she going up to?

00:48:31.000 It's like the girl when you first start the first date, she goes, now, I'm not the girl to sleep on the first date.

00:48:36.000 And then every dude knows, oh, I'm about to sleep with that girl on the first date.

00:48:39.000 Yeah, when they have to tell you.

00:48:41.000 When they go out of their way to tell you about it.

00:48:43.000 Yeah, they go out right away from the beginning.

00:48:45.000 Let you know.

00:48:47.000 That's a weird thing that girls have to do, right? 1.00

00:48:49.000 Because every girl knows that every guy wants to fuck. 1.00

00:48:51.000 Like, if a guy picks you up, he wants to fuck. 1.00

00:48:53.000 And every guy knows when he picks up a girl, like, she might not want to fuck. 1.00

00:48:57.000 This might not ever happen. 0.99

00:48:59.000 This is just dinner.

00:49:00.000 Yeah, it might not ever happen.

00:49:01.000 It might not ever happen.

00:49:02.000 But you know what I always say?

00:49:04.000 Like, to women, like, you control it. 1.00

00:49:07.000 Like, you're the goalie.

00:49:08.000 They definitely do.

00:49:08.000 You're the goalie.

00:49:09.000 Yeah.

00:49:09.000 So if you...

00:49:10.000 What's your Harvey Weinstein?

00:49:13.000 Convicted.

00:49:13.000 Going to jail, son.

00:49:15.000 And that's just in New York.

00:49:16.000 He still has to get tried out here.

00:49:17.000 Oh, he's got a bunch of trials.

00:49:19.000 That's just one.

00:49:20.000 Have you seen how much he has aged in the last, like, eight months?

00:49:24.000 Like, me and my wife were watching him on the news last night.

00:49:26.000 We go...

00:49:27.000 I saw him on a red carpet a couple years before and he was like vibrant and just the stress and the guiltiness and everything is just beating him down.

00:49:35.000 I don't think he'll even make it to jail.

00:49:37.000 He might kill himself. 0.98

00:49:39.000 I told my wife that because you're going to die in jail. 0.97

00:49:43.000 Well, he's probably depressed so deeply.

00:49:46.000 Imagine going from being the toast of the town, posing with Oprah, top of the world, going on the red carpet, everybody loves you, everybody thanks you when they get their Academy Award.

00:49:54.000 Have you ever seen the compilation of all the stars thanking Harvey Weinstein?

00:49:58.000 And then many of them went on to accuse him, accuse him later of being a monster.

00:50:02.000 But meanwhile, they're just praising him.

00:50:05.000 Well, but don't you have to play that game? 1.00

00:50:08.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:50:09.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:50:09.000 Don't you? 1.00

00:50:10.000 I don't know.

00:50:11.000 I guess.

00:50:12.000 I talked about this yesterday.

00:50:14.000 Owen Smith and I were talking about this yesterday.

00:50:16.000 We were on the podcast.

00:50:18.000 We were talking about how much I'm so happy I don't have to go on auditions and I don't act and I don't want to be a part of that anymore.

00:50:25.000 When people think, God, why is everybody in Hollywood so fake?

00:50:29.000 It's because they're all trying to get cast in something.

00:50:31.000 It's true.

00:50:32.000 They're all trying to get accepted by producers and casting directors and executives.

00:50:38.000 And so they're all just hedging their bets, playing it safe.

00:50:41.000 Like a guy on a first date. 1.00

00:50:43.000 Just a bullshit artist. 1.00

00:50:44.000 Just a fucking slick guy with loose morals on a first date. 1.00

00:50:48.000 Trying real hard. 1.00

00:50:50.000 Is this him getting arrested?

00:50:52.000 And how long ago was that? 0.99

00:50:53.000 Where's his fucking walker? 0.99

00:50:54.000 He's walking perfect now. 1.00

00:50:56.000 How long ago was that?

00:50:57.000 This was yesterday when he was walking.

00:50:58.000 Yeah.

00:50:59.000 He was all like...

00:50:59.000 Here's the thing.

00:51:00.000 Why do they have to cuff him? 1.00

00:51:01.000 Do they think that fat fuck's gonna kick anybody's ass? 1.00

00:51:03.000 I like it. 1.00

00:51:04.000 What's up with that?

00:51:05.000 No, cuff him. 0.78

00:51:06.000 But isn't it weird?

00:51:07.000 No.

00:51:07.000 It's great.

00:51:08.000 The cuffing thing is weird when you, like, if someone's, I guess...

00:51:13.000 If you don't cuff him, he could run away.

00:51:14.000 And he could run away.

00:51:15.000 He could run where?

00:51:16.000 He could run where? 1.00

00:51:18.000 His little fucking toothpick legs and his big old belly. 1.00

00:51:22.000 Look at that meatball belly. 1.00

00:51:23.000 He ain't going anywhere.

00:51:24.000 That dude ain't running.

00:51:26.000 But here's the thing.

00:51:27.000 It's like, I guess he's accused of violent crime, so you have to cuff him, right?

00:51:31.000 If someone's accused of murder and they're convicted, you got to cuff him.

00:51:33.000 What happens to him if he goes to jail?

00:51:35.000 Does he get Epstein'd?

00:51:38.000 I know with any kids.

00:51:40.000 If you mess with any kids.

00:51:41.000 It's an old video, apparently.

00:51:42.000 Yeah, I thought so.

00:51:43.000 He doesn't look like that anymore.

00:51:44.000 That's probably two, three years ago, right?

00:51:46.000 Oh, that was when he initially got arrested?

00:51:47.000 Yeah.

00:51:47.000 I was about to say, that's not him.

00:51:49.000 That was one of the things that the court artist, there was an artist that drew him throughout the case, and she was saying that you could see his deterioration, his physical deterioration over the course of the trial.

00:52:01.000 Have you seen him lately?

00:52:02.000 No.

00:52:02.000 Did you?

00:52:03.000 Oh, you got to pull up the video of him like yesterday.

00:52:05.000 It literally, him walking out.

00:52:07.000 Yeah.

00:52:08.000 He looks 20 years older. 0.99

00:52:10.000 I wonder if that Walker shit's real. 1.00

00:52:13.000 Do you think that Walker shit was... 1.00

00:52:14.000 No. 1.00

00:52:14.000 I don't think it's real, but I think it became real. 1.00

00:52:17.000 Whoa.

00:52:18.000 Dun, dun, dun.

00:52:19.000 That's right.

00:52:19.000 I think it was...

00:52:20.000 Look at that.

00:52:21.000 Look at just his face.

00:52:23.000 Yeah.

00:52:24.000 I think it was a thing where, oh, let's play it for the court, and then he just got so broken down through the process, which he deserved, and it just took a toll on him, man.

00:52:34.000 Look at him!

00:52:36.000 The video you just showed is like two years old.

00:52:38.000 It was May 2018. May 2018. Look at him now.

00:52:42.000 Look, he's lost most of his hair, and he looks so old and tired.

00:52:47.000 He's probably not getting any sleep. 1.00

00:52:49.000 He's a fucking beaten man. 1.00

00:52:53.000 And he was on top of the world. 1.00

00:52:55.000 If there is karma, right?

00:52:57.000 If karma's real, that's the karma. 1.00

00:52:59.000 Because this guy was on the top of the world, but he was forcing everyone to suck his dick. 1.00

00:53:04.000 So you want to be a star? 1.00

00:53:05.000 It's like demonic shit. 1.00

00:53:08.000 Come on in. 1.00

00:53:09.000 Now karma's saying, do you want to suck my dick? 1.00

00:53:12.000 I don't want to, but I don't want to. 1.00

00:53:13.000 Come here.

00:53:14.000 Get over here. 0.99

00:53:15.000 You want to make you a star?

00:53:17.000 Sorry, sorry.

00:53:17.000 Don't tell anybody about this.

00:53:18.000 Like, whoa.

00:53:19.000 Whoa.

00:53:19.000 And then his contract had it in there.

00:53:23.000 You heard about that?

00:53:23.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:24.000 Like they had a disclaimer in his contract.

00:53:25.000 Not only didn't they have a disclaimer, for one count of sexual harassment, two counts, you have to pay up this amount.

00:53:32.000 Three counts, you have to pay up that amount.

00:53:34.000 Like he would lose money based on how many different counts of sexual harassment he had.

00:53:39.000 So they were negotiating, depended upon him being a predator.

00:53:44.000 Like they kind of knew.

00:53:46.000 What do you mean kind of?

00:53:47.000 If they put you in a contract, they knew.

00:53:51.000 If you're putting in a contract, you know.

00:53:53.000 Well, that's the other thing.

00:53:54.000 How many people are also liable here?

00:53:59.000 Oh, my thing is, when are the agents going to jail, the ones that kept sending all the actresses to the guy?

00:54:06.000 The one they knew.

00:54:07.000 They knew!

00:54:08.000 Everybody knew! 0.71

00:54:09.000 Well, if an actress can say, hey, Harvey Weinstein raped me, and then the agency says, listen, do you want this job or not?

00:54:18.000 Like, those people. 0.79

00:54:20.000 Those people.

00:54:21.000 But if you're an agent, and you've known Harvey Weinstein for four or five years, or ten years, and you know he's been doing this, but yet you continue to send actresses to this guy, shouldn't you have some type of responsibility, too?

00:54:36.000 Yes, but here's the question. 0.98

00:54:38.000 Did they think that he was just a pig and he was trying to talk those girls into willingly having sex with him, which many did, or did they think he was a rapist? 1.00

00:54:47.000 Because he was both of those things, apparently. 1.00

00:54:49.000 Yes. 0.99

00:54:50.000 He was a guy who had sex with girls who were willing to whore themselves out to be in movies, and he also forced himself on women who did not want to have anything to do with him. 0.99

00:55:00.000 So he had both of those things were going on. 0.99

00:55:02.000 But you don't think the agencies that were sending all these big actresses in, they didn't know, they knew the both types. 1.00

00:55:09.000 Hey, they had some girls willing and some girls are saying they're raped. 1.00

00:55:12.000 It's a good question.

00:55:13.000 You don't think any actress ever went back to their agent and go, I'm never going in again. 0.95

00:55:17.000 I got raped.

00:55:18.000 And then that agent was like, all right, I'm not going to send you anymore. 0.99

00:55:21.000 But hey, over here, go into Harvey.

00:55:23.000 Right.

00:55:23.000 Well, I like the way you're negotiating here, because the way you're saying it doesn't give a person an out.

00:55:28.000 You're saying, you don't think, because no one's saying that they don't think that.

00:55:32.000 No one's arguing that they don't think that.

00:55:34.000 So you're saying, you don't think that.

00:55:36.000 So you're learning from that book.

00:55:37.000 Yes.

00:55:38.000 Very clever.

00:55:39.000 I wouldn't say it that way.

00:55:40.000 What I would say is, there's a high likelihood that they at least suspected he had forced himself on some women.

00:55:46.000 And there was probably some rumors. 0.99

00:55:48.000 There was a 100% likelihood they knew he was a pig. 0.95

00:55:51.000 There was a high likelihood that there were some stories about some things that he had did that were probably criminal. 0.96

00:55:59.000 High likelihood.

00:56:00.000 I don't know how many people were privy to those stories.

00:56:03.000 I don't know how deep it got in.

00:56:07.000 Like if you're an agent, how many actresses do you actually get to send to Harvey Weinstein?

00:56:13.000 I don't know.

00:56:14.000 I'm sure whoever he wanted to see.

00:56:17.000 Right, but I don't know what that number is.

00:56:20.000 I don't know how much they actually knew.

00:56:22.000 What we can be pretty sure of at this point is there's no way all these women are lying. 0.94

00:56:27.000 Oh, no.

00:56:28.000 No, they're all...

00:56:29.000 I believe...

00:56:30.000 Look, I know...

00:56:31.000 Brad Pitt talks about the time he threatened to murder Harvey Weinstein.

00:56:33.000 That's a great story.

00:56:35.000 This is right after Gwyneth Paltrow was... 1.00

00:56:38.000 Harvey Weinstein made an advancement on Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt confronted him and said, I'll fucking kill you. 1.00

00:56:44.000 You do that again. 0.99

00:56:45.000 So this is the thing.

00:56:47.000 Brad Pitt knew.

00:56:48.000 Right.

00:56:48.000 So if Brad Pitt knows and he's one of the biggest movie stars, these agents know.

00:56:54.000 I don't want to... 0.97

00:56:57.000 He, per Paltrow, he approached Weinstein outside of a play premiere in 1995 and he told him, if you ever make her feel uncomfortable again, I'll kill you. 0.98

00:57:08.000 Brad Pitt went gangster on it, man. 0.70

00:57:10.000 Look, Joe, this is in 1995. 25 years ago, bro.

00:57:16.000 So you're telling me that these agents in the industry, I didn't even know the guy, but I heard these stories.

00:57:25.000 Right.

00:57:25.000 What it said is that he touched her inappropriately and invited her to his bedroom.

00:57:30.000 She told her then boyfriend, Brad Pitt, about it.

00:57:33.000 See, that's what I think most people had heard.

00:57:35.000 And that's gross, for sure.

00:57:37.000 Yeah, but it's not gross.

00:57:38.000 It's not great. 1.00

00:57:39.000 See, I think most people knew about that shit. 1.00

00:57:42.000 And Brad Pitt was willing to kill him over that, which I love. 1.00

00:57:45.000 Yeah. 0.54

00:57:48.000 Yeah.

00:57:48.000 But, yeah, I just think it's a thing now where, like we talked about earlier, it was an overcorrection with Me Too that was well-deserved.

00:57:56.000 And now you're seeing these guys like Harvey and actually money's not going to get you out.

00:58:03.000 The Cosby's of the world, I think he's the tip of the monster pyramid.

00:58:11.000 There's Cosby because he... 1.00

00:58:13.000 They did this thing about him where they said he's probably the most prolific serial rapist in history, which is like, holy shit! 0.99

00:58:22.000 And he was doing it on the set of The Cosby Show. 0.99

00:58:26.000 Yeah.

00:58:26.000 Like, he would invite actresses to, oh, I want to make a guest appearance on The Cosby Show.

00:58:31.000 Here, have some tea.

00:58:32.000 Yeah, go to his trailer.

00:58:34.000 They wake up covered in jizz with an empty teacup. 1.00

00:58:36.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:58:37.000 It's like, this is not the part I wanted. 1.00

00:58:39.000 Disgusting.

00:58:40.000 And then they're probably like, what happened? 0.97

00:58:42.000 Did that really happen? 0.99

00:58:44.000 Can you imagine if America's dad raped you and you're like, that? 0.99

00:58:47.000 Did that? 1.00

00:58:48.000 What?

00:58:49.000 Like you probably, if you were an actress and you went to him, you were probably thinking, okay, this guy is probably exactly like he is on TV. He's Mr. Huxtable.

00:59:00.000 He's going to be nice to me.

00:59:01.000 And, you know, he's just a nice guy.

00:59:03.000 He's just going to...

00:59:05.000 Try to help me out.

00:59:06.000 He helps people out.

00:59:07.000 I would think when these women woke up, they didn't believe it happened. 0.99

00:59:12.000 This is probably a big shock.

00:59:15.000 Well, they say that that's one of the things that happens with rape victims is that they sleep with the person willingly afterwards.

00:59:22.000 And it doesn't mean that they weren't raped, but it's almost like they are trying to erase the shame of rape by going back to that person and actually willingly having sex with them.

00:59:35.000 It was one of the arguments that Harvey Weinstein apparently had used, that these girls had willingly had sex with him after these encounters.

00:59:43.000 And then, you know, they tried to show that.

00:59:45.000 But psychologists talk about that and they say that this is a coping mechanism that some victims actually wind up using, which is just...

00:59:54.000 I mean, the mind plays crazy tricks on you, right?

00:59:57.000 And when you're going to someone who's America's dad, like Bill Cosby, you think he's going to help you out and give you that little boost and get you going in your career and you can't wait to be there with the Academy Award going.

01:00:08.000 And I just want to thank Bill Cosby because he gave me my first break and he's always been a beautiful mentor figure to me and a father figure.

01:00:15.000 Meanwhile, empty cup of tea and you got a headache and your pants are off. 0.99

01:00:19.000 You're like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:00:20.000 Yeah, man, I don't like the argument that people make. 0.99

01:00:25.000 You know, the actresses thank Harvey Weinstein and stuff like that.

01:00:29.000 It's like, you have to.

01:00:31.000 He paid for the movie.

01:00:32.000 You know, you can't be like, yo... 0.74

01:00:33.000 Or the argument that they're not really victims because...

01:00:37.000 Or the argument that, you know, oh, it took 20 years to say something.

01:00:42.000 You know, that stuff happens where you just don't want to say anything.

01:00:47.000 You know? 1.00

01:00:48.000 Look, it's a whore business. 1.00

01:00:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:49.000 Right? 1.00

01:00:50.000 And people whore themselves out in one way or the other.

01:00:53.000 There's men that whore themselves out and said things that they didn't really mean because they wanted to keep working.

01:00:58.000 So they praised people that they really probably despised.

01:01:01.000 There's probably a lot of that going on. 0.99

01:01:02.000 Yeah, you can't say just because all those people kissed his ass that he wasn't really a monster. 1.00

01:01:07.000 Monster, yeah. 1.00

01:01:08.000 But a lot of people use that argument.

01:01:10.000 You can't.

01:01:10.000 You really can't.

01:01:12.000 It's not valid.

01:01:13.000 It doesn't make sense.

01:01:14.000 It makes sense that...

01:01:16.000 It's distorted, that the whole thing's distorted and gross. 0.99

01:01:19.000 Even more gross maybe than just a simple, he met this woman and then he tried to rape her. 0.99

01:01:24.000 It's even more gross. 0.97

01:01:26.000 Like, they worked together for long periods of time and her career success was dependent upon his acceptance of them.

01:01:32.000 I mean, that's like the ultimate state of power, right?

01:01:35.000 If you're the head of one of the biggest, most prominent movie studios in the world and you bang all the actresses and everyone knows it.

01:01:44.000 But also, if you go against him, he'll call the other studios and blackball you.

01:01:51.000 I think if it was just, okay, he runs this studio, and he did me wrong, and okay, we're not going to work with that studio.

01:01:59.000 He would go out of his way to call other people to blackball those people.

01:02:02.000 And that's where you're petrified.

01:02:04.000 Because, you know, like, we're comics.

01:02:07.000 But some people are actors, and that's what they do.

01:02:09.000 That's what they want to do.

01:02:11.000 So, it's a thing where...

01:02:13.000 If that's your thing, you have to play that game.

01:02:15.000 It's no different than the comedy store.

01:02:18.000 I'm past that prime of hanging out there because I have a family.

01:02:21.000 But that's the game.

01:02:22.000 You hang out in the club.

01:02:23.000 It becomes a fraternity.

01:02:25.000 And then you get passed.

01:02:27.000 You've got to invest time in that club.

01:02:29.000 In the comedy store.

01:02:31.000 And that's what everybody tells me.

01:02:33.000 And it's a thing where...

01:02:35.000 Are you not passed there?

01:02:36.000 No.

01:02:37.000 Have you auditioned?

01:02:40.000 No.

01:02:41.000 That's how you get passed.

01:02:42.000 Yeah, but I heard they like to pass people that invest time.

01:02:47.000 How come you never just texted me and asked me to get you set up for an audition?

01:02:51.000 I don't ask.

01:02:52.000 I'll set that up.

01:02:53.000 I didn't even know.

01:02:53.000 I thought you already passed.

01:02:54.000 No, I'm there.

01:02:55.000 I've seen you there.

01:02:55.000 Oh, yeah.

01:02:56.000 I perform there a lot, but those are promoter shows.

01:02:58.000 Promoter shows.

01:02:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:59.000 Yeah, be careful because they're probably going to eliminate those.

01:03:02.000 Oh, okay.

01:03:03.000 Yeah.

01:03:03.000 Really?

01:03:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:05.000 Because there's a lot of people that go up that are not really comedy store standard. 0.91

01:03:08.000 And someone will come the first time to the comedy store and they'll see a promoter show, and one of the promoters goes up and eats shit for 20 minutes in the middle of a star-stacked lineup, and you're like, what the fuck did I just see?

01:03:19.000 Or they put a girl they're trying to bang on the lineup. 0.81

01:03:21.000 That, a little bit of that.

01:03:22.000 I see, I see that a lot.

01:03:22.000 A little bit of that!

01:03:24.000 I see that a lot!

01:03:25.000 Yeah.

01:03:26.000 Now I'm going to get heat for that.

01:03:28.000 No, you're right.

01:03:29.000 You're right.

01:03:30.000 Heat from who?

01:03:30.000 The girls that are throwing it towards the promoters?

01:03:35.000 Yeah.

01:03:37.000 I hate that I said that.

01:03:39.000 I know that it's going to come back.

01:03:40.000 It's true, though. 0.82

01:03:41.000 It's true.

01:03:42.000 Because my friends are some of the promoters that go, oh, yeah, I'll put her on the show. 1.00

01:03:45.000 Yeah.

01:03:46.000 And I'm like, oh, really?

01:03:47.000 That's a fact.

01:03:48.000 Look, there's weasels in all lines of work. 0.99

01:03:53.000 The promoter thing is a weird thing.

01:03:56.000 Yeah, you had your issues.

01:03:58.000 Well, everybody's had their issues.

01:03:59.000 But the big issue is the quality of the performers.

01:04:02.000 A lot of those guys that are promoting these shows, they really are not professional comics.

01:04:06.000 They kind of like are sometimes comics.

01:04:09.000 They occasionally do it.

01:04:10.000 So they'll insert themselves into these star-stacked lineups, like there's Dahlia and Jesselnick and all these things, and they'll get up in there and do 20 minutes in the middle of that.

01:04:18.000 It's just...

01:04:20.000 Comedy store hates it.

01:04:21.000 Do you...

01:04:22.000 Like, I was with Jim Jeffries, is on my podcast this week, and he was talking about he doesn't like going to the comedy store because he's so used to performing in front of his own crowd that he actually gets kind of nervous going up at the comedy store because...

01:04:35.000 That's why it's good for you.

01:04:37.000 Exactly.

01:04:38.000 So my thing is...

01:04:39.000 But it must be different from you, because anytime you're on the lineup, your fans show up there.

01:04:45.000 So you're always playing home court now.

01:04:48.000 Well, there's some home court to it, but there's also a bunch of people that are there to see D'Elia. 0.91

01:04:52.000 There's a bunch of people that are there to see Jessel Neck and Whitney Cummings and Ali Wong and whoever the fuck else is there. 0.64

01:04:58.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:04:58.000 You get all those things.

01:05:00.000 You're winning people over, for sure.

01:05:03.000 Is it as...

01:05:05.000 Easy as no one knowing who you are?

01:05:07.000 No.

01:05:08.000 Or is it as hard, rather, as no one knowing who you are?

01:05:11.000 No, it's not.

01:05:12.000 It's much harder if people don't know who you are.

01:05:14.000 Then you have to really win them over.

01:05:16.000 But You know, I did that.

01:05:19.000 Yeah.

01:05:20.000 I've done that forever.

01:05:21.000 Yeah.

01:05:21.000 Like, I know what I'm doing.

01:05:22.000 Like, doing stand-up at this point is really about being honest about the material, reps, putting in the time, putting in the effort, putting in the focus, and then grinding.

01:05:32.000 You've got to grind.

01:05:33.000 You've got to trust the process.

01:05:34.000 Do you ever get nervous before you go on?

01:05:35.000 For sure!

01:05:36.000 Really?

01:05:37.000 Yeah, I get a little antsy.

01:05:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:39.000 Yeah, get a little fucking, here we go, here we go, here we go. 1.00

01:05:41.000 I like that, man. 1.00

01:05:43.000 I like being nervous.

01:05:44.000 When I used to fight, when I wasn't nervous is when I had my worst performances.

01:05:48.000 Always.

01:05:49.000 I've got to relax.

01:05:50.000 Because you've got to be on edge, man.

01:05:52.000 Because it's an unnatural state, right?

01:05:55.000 Going on stage in front of thousands of people is an unnatural state.

01:05:59.000 You should be a little on edge.

01:06:00.000 It shouldn't be like waking up or going to the gym or anything normal.

01:06:04.000 It should be weird.

01:06:06.000 It should be weird. 0.96

01:06:06.000 Every time I go on stage, it's fucking weird. 0.96

01:06:08.000 You know what it's like? 0.97

01:06:09.000 It's the closest, because I don't fight, but like gladiator.

01:06:12.000 Like you're a gladiator walking into an arena, except they're not cheering you on at the beginning.

01:06:17.000 They want to make me laugh.

01:06:18.000 But with you, when they see you, they're like, ah!

01:06:21.000 But you still gotta make them laugh.

01:06:23.000 You gotta crush it.

01:06:24.000 Well, also, I have all these things that I put into my head before I go on stage.

01:06:30.000 Not just about the material itself, because I have the...

01:06:33.000 Over the last three or four years, I've altered my preparation for shows.

01:06:38.000 And one of the big things is index cards. 0.99

01:06:41.000 I take index cards and I write down all my shit. 0.99

01:06:43.000 Right. 0.99

01:06:43.000 I'll spend a whole hour just writing on index cards. 0.99

01:06:47.000 And then in my hotel room before that, I will write.

01:06:51.000 And it doesn't even have to be about the material that I'm doing.

01:06:53.000 Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not, but I will write for over an hour.

01:06:57.000 I'll make sure I do that.

01:06:57.000 So I have two hours of solid writing the day of a show.

01:07:01.000 And that's just to keep everything going.

01:07:04.000 I want everything popping and sharp.

01:07:06.000 I don't want it to be, oh, let me think about my bits right before I go on stage.

01:07:11.000 No, no, no. 0.99

01:07:11.000 I'm thinking about that shit all day long, and then I think about people getting babysitters. 0.99

01:07:16.000 I think about people dragging their wife. 1.00

01:07:18.000 Their wife's like, he's not even funny. 1.00

01:07:20.000 I think about all that shit. 1.00

01:07:21.000 I want all those people to have a good time, man. 1.00

01:07:24.000 I think about people paying money.

01:07:25.000 I think about people saving money.

01:07:26.000 I think about people taking trips and driving in their cars and getting on planes and coming to see me.

01:07:31.000 I get jazzed up, man.

01:07:33.000 I get fired up.

01:07:34.000 I want to do a good job.

01:07:36.000 I don't ever take it for granted.

01:07:38.000 I think these people paid money.

01:07:40.000 They invested their time in me.

01:07:42.000 I don't want to let them down.

01:07:43.000 No, that's great.

01:07:44.000 Because it's almost like by you preparing like that, you've already done the set five times before you even hit the stage.

01:07:50.000 So you're like, where so many people just, oh, what are you going to do?

01:07:54.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:07:55.000 I'll figure it out when I'm up there.

01:07:56.000 They're not paying all this money for you to figure it out while you're But here's the difference.

01:08:00.000 When I do the Comedy Store, sometimes I don't do that.

01:08:03.000 Yeah, you work out.

01:08:04.000 Yeah, and one of the reasons why I don't do that is because I am trying to experiment.

01:08:08.000 And I'll do things backwards, where I'll do my closing bit first, or I'll do punchlines first, then try to reinvent the beginning of it at the end.

01:08:19.000 And I'll do that just to try to figure out if I'm doing a bit the right way, because you don't really know.

01:08:23.000 I know the beats, I know where there's jokes, I know where it's funny, and I know the premise.

01:08:28.000 But I don't know if I'm doing it the right way.

01:08:30.000 I need to find out.

01:08:31.000 And there's a lot of guys that they'll come up with a premise, and they'll start working it, and they never change it.

01:08:36.000 It gets a few laughs, and it could have been better, but they never allowed it to grow.

01:08:40.000 They never were loose.

01:08:41.000 They never opened it up. 1.00

01:08:43.000 So I'll get baked as fuck. 1.00

01:08:44.000 I'll drink. 0.99

01:08:45.000 I'll have a couple shots of whiskey, and I'll go on stage and just ramble.

01:08:48.000 And sometimes that's not my best set.

01:08:53.000 But sometimes it hits a groove and then you catch this new part of a bit that's way better than any other version of it's been before and then it becomes your closing bit.

01:09:04.000 It's a gym in a lot of ways. 0.97

01:09:06.000 There's a whole process to it, but that shit doesn't happen in arenas. 0.93

01:09:10.000 When I do an arena, I got music playing in the green room. 0.98

01:09:14.000 I'm pacing and shadowboxing.

01:09:15.000 I stretch.

01:09:16.000 I do yoga.

01:09:17.000 I do cardio the day of.

01:09:18.000 That's another thing I do before every show.

01:09:20.000 I always do cardio.

01:09:21.000 I want to blow off all the extra steam. 0.99

01:09:24.000 I don't want any bullshit in my head. 0.99

01:09:25.000 I want to look... 0.99

01:09:28.000 Pump it out, sweat it out, stretch.

01:09:30.000 So I've covered my mental bases.

01:09:33.000 I've covered my material.

01:09:35.000 I've covered my brain preparation.

01:09:37.000 I've covered my gratitude.

01:09:41.000 I've covered all those things.

01:09:42.000 Cover all those things.

01:09:43.000 And when I go out there, I'm still nervous.

01:09:46.000 Wow.

01:09:47.000 That's amazing.

01:09:49.000 I just love what you're doing with this podcast, what you're doing with Stand Up.

01:09:54.000 Last time I was here...

01:09:56.000 It changed my life.

01:09:57.000 And I'm telling you, it changed my life in a good way because, you know, I said I didn't work out.

01:10:03.000 And I never got so many shirtless pics of dudes saying...

01:10:10.000 Going, dude, when you work out, you don't have to get big.

01:10:13.000 You can be shredded.

01:10:14.000 So they were sending me, your audience was sending me workouts, and it inspired me to start working out.

01:10:20.000 And so I started going to the gym, and I tried out, you know, I do a lot of research, so I tried different things.

01:10:26.000 I tried the ones where you run around, jump up and down.

01:10:28.000 It wasn't my thing.

01:10:29.000 Run up and jump down.

01:10:30.000 You know those boot camps and all that stuff.

01:10:33.000 I don't want to call it. 1.00

01:10:34.000 45, that kind of shit? 0.99

01:10:35.000 Yeah, that's not me. 1.00

01:10:36.000 I'm a college football player.

01:10:37.000 I'm a high school football player.

01:10:39.000 I need weights in organization.

01:10:41.000 So I did research, but nobody just does weights.

01:10:44.000 And I found a place called Lift Society.

01:10:47.000 It's changed my life.

01:10:48.000 Literally, every day, you do glutes, I mean, you do legs one day, you do chest one day, or upper body one day, and it just rotates, and you change workouts every week.

01:10:58.000 It goes from 12 to 10 to 8. It's just like college football.

01:11:02.000 And the thing is, you control, you have your own rack.

01:11:06.000 So they only let like nine people in the class, and it's one trainer.

01:11:10.000 So it's almost like a personal training, because you're all doing the same thing, and nobody's in your space.

01:11:15.000 Ah.

01:11:16.000 And it's all weights.

01:11:18.000 It's none of this jumping around, grabbing a rope, and throwing balls.

01:11:21.000 I just need weights.

01:11:23.000 You know what I mean?

01:11:24.000 But do you do any cardio?

01:11:25.000 No.

01:11:26.000 Mm-mm.

01:11:27.000 Don't you want to do a little cardio?

01:11:29.000 Do I, Joe?

01:11:30.000 I don't know.

01:11:31.000 I don't...

01:11:31.000 Man, I've lost, like, way a little bit more.

01:11:33.000 But don't...

01:11:34.000 It's not for weight loss.

01:11:35.000 It's for heart health.

01:11:37.000 Well, but when you're doing squats, bro, your heart's...

01:11:40.000 Bro.

01:11:49.000 Yeah.

01:11:50.000 Like, your heart is going crazy.

01:11:52.000 Squats.

01:11:52.000 For sure.

01:11:53.000 Especially doing the high reps.

01:11:54.000 Yeah, we're doing 12 reps.

01:11:56.000 Right, okay.

01:11:56.000 Five sets of 12, and then it goes 4, 3. Man, I don't know.

01:12:01.000 I weigh a little more, but I'm a lot more shredded and strong.

01:12:04.000 That's beautiful.

01:12:05.000 Yeah, I love lifting weights.

01:12:06.000 Do you feel better?

01:12:08.000 100% better.

01:12:09.000 See, there you go.

01:12:11.000 That's what's up.

01:12:11.000 I don't have muscle legs, but my legs are strong now.

01:12:14.000 You know what I mean?

01:12:15.000 I believe it.

01:12:16.000 You used to be able to touch, like the first time I came here, you could touch my leg, it would touch my bone.

01:12:20.000 Like literally.

01:12:21.000 Squishy?

01:12:22.000 Squishy.

01:12:22.000 Now it's tight.

01:12:23.000 You have muscle memory, which is interesting, isn't it?

01:12:25.000 Yeah.

01:12:26.000 But your body goes, oh yeah, we're playing football again.

01:12:28.000 Yeah.

01:12:30.000 Well, that's why I don't go super heavy, because I will explode. 0.98

01:12:33.000 That's why it's so hard for people that have never done jack shit. 0.99

01:12:36.000 That's the hardest, for people who have never done jack shit to get in shape, because their body's like, what in the fuck are we doing? 0.99

01:12:42.000 Whereas with you, your body's like, oh, we're getting big again. 0.99

01:12:45.000 We know how to do it.

01:12:46.000 We're getting strong again.

01:12:47.000 We know how to lift weights.

01:12:48.000 We did this.

01:12:49.000 Yeah, but I'm not into the jumping around classes.

01:12:53.000 The body's so interesting, man.

01:12:55.000 It's great.

01:12:56.000 I went years, especially when I was doing jujitsu, I went years without hitting the bag or doing any kicks.

01:13:03.000 And then one time someone asked me to explain something.

01:13:08.000 And like, how do you do that thing?

01:13:10.000 Like, I heard about a spinning backpack.

01:13:12.000 I'm like, I'll show you how to do it.

01:13:13.000 And I went over to the bag and I'm like, part of me was like, do I really know how to do this?

01:13:17.000 Like, I haven't done this in years.

01:13:19.000 Is this like a false memory?

01:13:21.000 Like, is this real?

01:13:22.000 Do I really know? 0.99

01:13:23.000 And then I start doing it and then my body's like, oh, we're doing this shit again. 0.99

01:13:26.000 I know how to do this. 0.99

01:13:27.000 It just clicks.

01:13:28.000 But it's weird because it doesn't seem real.

01:13:30.000 Like, it's like when I'm about to do it, I'm like, come on. 0.95

01:13:32.000 I'm going to fall my ass right here. 0.75

01:13:34.000 Do I really know what I'm doing? 0.94

01:13:36.000 Like when you don't do something for a long time, your body has to like kind of go, oh yeah, oh I remember this.

01:13:42.000 You have to do it a couple times.

01:13:43.000 Yeah, you have a memory.

01:13:45.000 Like I have a memory of it.

01:13:46.000 But that memory seems fake.

01:13:48.000 I have a lot of memories in my life that seem really fake.

01:13:52.000 Really?

01:13:52.000 Oh yeah, man.

01:13:54.000 Oh yeah.

01:13:54.000 Well, life is weird, right?

01:13:56.000 And my life is very weird.

01:13:58.000 My life is weird.

01:14:00.000 Everyone's life is weird.

01:14:01.000 Life is weird.

01:14:02.000 We're these weird monkeys that are clinging to a rock that's hurling through space.

01:14:07.000 There's no roof above us.

01:14:09.000 Sky is infinite.

01:14:10.000 It's weird. 0.96

01:14:11.000 We're gonna live a certain amount of time and then we're gonna die and we don't even know what the fuck happens then. 0.99

01:14:17.000 There's that. 0.98

01:14:18.000 And then there's Famous Weird, which is really weird.

01:14:20.000 And then there's Famous Weird that's...

01:14:22.000 I've lived so many different lives.

01:14:25.000 So I have these lives in my past where I'm like, boy, is that real?

01:14:30.000 Did I do that stuff?

01:14:32.000 Wait, wait, now I'm getting lost.

01:14:33.000 Martial arts stuff?

01:14:34.000 Oh, martial arts, okay, gotcha.

01:14:36.000 Fighting, fighting, but even stand-up, man.

01:14:38.000 Like, there's moments before I go on stage where it's like, do I really do this? 0.99

01:14:43.000 Like, it's a weird freak-out when you're about to get introduced in a fucking sold-out arena. 0.96

01:14:48.000 And you're in the back and you're like, is this real? 0.99

01:14:51.000 Do I really do this?

01:14:52.000 Like, I feel like I have a false memory of me doing this.

01:14:54.000 Like, I know I did all that stuff.

01:14:56.000 I know I did all that preparation.

01:14:58.000 But then you've got to kind of trust it.

01:15:00.000 And then they go, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Rogan.

01:15:03.000 You go out there and you're like, what's up?

01:15:05.000 What's up?

01:15:06.000 What's up?

01:15:06.000 And then it all falls into place.

01:15:08.000 And you have to trust the process.

01:15:10.000 But you've got to do it a lot to trust it.

01:15:12.000 That's why stand-up, it's so critical to do the reps.

01:15:15.000 You've got to do mad reps. 0.69

01:15:16.000 And I've fucked that up in the past before, man.

01:15:19.000 I've done that in the past where I was only working one or two shows on the weekend and that's it.

01:15:24.000 That's all I was doing for a few years.

01:15:40.000 I've been doing it 15 years, but there's stage time in maybe 5 or 6 years.

01:15:45.000 Right.

01:15:45.000 Because that's the thing.

01:15:47.000 Russell Peters said it doesn't matter how many years you do it.

01:15:50.000 It matters the stage time.

01:15:52.000 Yes.

01:15:53.000 Because stage time makes the years.

01:15:54.000 That's not true.

01:15:55.000 This is why it's not true.

01:15:56.000 Okay.

01:15:56.000 Because you need reflection time, too.

01:15:58.000 So the time in between that stage time is critical as well.

01:16:02.000 It's not just the time you go on stage.

01:16:03.000 It's the time you think about that as well.

01:16:05.000 You can't just get 10 years worth of stand-up in three years.

01:16:08.000 You can't do it.

01:16:09.000 You won't ever be able to do it.

01:16:10.000 Yeah.

01:16:11.000 Because you're not going to grow enough as a human.

01:16:12.000 And also your values and your perception will be distorted because you'll be too stand-up centric.

01:16:18.000 One of the things about stand-up that I've found, you have to have other life experiences.

01:16:23.000 And I think my other life experiences enhance my stand-up.

01:16:26.000 Yeah, I think he was more talking about the people that have done it.

01:16:30.000 Oh, scrubs.

01:16:31.000 Yeah, no, I don't want to say that.

01:16:32.000 The scrubs.

01:16:33.000 Everybody's equal.

01:16:34.000 No, no, no, they're not.

01:16:34.000 Yeah.

01:16:35.000 They're not equal.

01:16:36.000 There's people that do it just for girls. 1.00

01:16:39.000 I know lots of comedians that just do it.

01:16:41.000 I've been doing comedy for 15 years, but really, you're just doing it for the girls.

01:16:46.000 You don't have to mention any names.

01:16:47.000 I know a lot of those dudes.

01:16:48.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

01:16:50.000 Those guys suffer.

01:16:50.000 They suffer.

01:16:51.000 They suffer because they know.

01:16:53.000 They know they could have really pursued it as a real art form.

01:16:56.000 They could have...

01:16:58.000 I appreciated the unbelievably fortunate position that you are in, where you have an opportunity to be a professional stand-up comedian.

01:17:07.000 And I think a lot of those guys, they probably never had real jobs. 0.98

01:17:09.000 If you had a real job working on a construction site or doing something hard, driving limos, working in a fucking shitty office, sitting in a cubicle every day, suffering. 0.99

01:17:19.000 And then internalizing that suffering and realizing, I don't want to fucking do this. 0.99

01:17:24.000 God, I wish I could be a comedian. 0.98

01:17:26.000 God, I wish I could be a professional.

01:17:27.000 You know, Greg Fitzsimmons and I, we started out exactly the same time, like a week apart from each other.

01:17:33.000 Greg and I have been buddies forever.

01:17:34.000 And one of the things that we talk about is when we first started in Boston, we never thought about having a career.

01:17:40.000 All we thought about is, man, if I could imagine if I could pay my bills doing stand-up.

01:17:47.000 Greg has won multiple Emmys.

01:17:49.000 He's had Showtime specials and headlines all over the country.

01:17:54.000 And we were talking about it.

01:17:55.000 It's like, I never would have dreamed that would have been possible.

01:17:57.000 It wasn't even a dream.

01:17:59.000 The dream was make a living.

01:18:02.000 That's it.

01:18:03.000 Just make a living.

01:18:04.000 That's it.

01:18:05.000 That's why I was saying it was so inspiring, like, coming on this podcast, because it kind of was a domino thing after doing this, because to me, this podcast is very inspirational to people, and it was the moment I was on here. 0.54

01:18:17.000 So I did this whole lifting, then I listened to the David Goggins book, and I was like, oh my god, this dude's crazy and a beast.

01:18:24.000 And I did the mirror thing.

01:18:26.000 Like he said, the first thing on my mirror is WTFO. Work the fuck out. 0.99

01:18:30.000 Right? 0.95

01:18:31.000 So that's the first thing I do in the morning.

01:18:32.000 Beautiful.

01:18:33.000 And I go, if this dude can go through all this, I can wake up and work out in the morning.

01:18:38.000 And then comedy's up there and then sell a TV show, which already happened this year that's going to be announced in a couple weeks.

01:18:43.000 So it's a thing where...

01:18:44.000 Congratulations.

01:18:45.000 Thanks.

01:18:45.000 But it's a thing where sometimes you just need to see it firsthand.

01:18:51.000 Yeah.

01:18:51.000 Because once I saw what you've done live, I've seen it on YouTube, but once you hear and you feel the magnitude of it, it was like, what the fuck am I doing?

01:19:02.000 I need to really start pushing harder.

01:19:05.000 And I need to really focus just on comedy, on podcasting.

01:19:09.000 I built me a podcast.

01:19:11.000 Beautiful.

01:19:12.000 It was just so inspiring.

01:19:14.000 And then it just...

01:19:16.000 Dominoed into more and more things where and it had a lot to do with your listeners like saying jiu-jitsu gyms reaching out to me because I said I wanted to try that you should try it you're built for it man you told me not to because my knee I have knee problems that's right what's wrong with your knee again it's a meniscus I did no I never got it fixed hmm so but get it scoped but like the shirtless dudes in the whole the whole to just it bother you right now your knee yeah Yeah,

01:19:43.000 all the time?

01:19:43.000 Well, I squat and stuff.

01:19:44.000 It's fine, but I couldn't imagine somebody like...

01:19:47.000 I did one of these classes where I just jump around a little bit and hurt it.

01:19:52.000 Did you ever get an MRI? I did.

01:19:54.000 They said it's just rough, like it's grinding on each other.

01:20:01.000 So they injected it with the gel.

01:20:04.000 What gel is that?

01:20:05.000 I can't remember what they threw in.

01:20:07.000 Hyaluronic acid?

01:20:07.000 Yes, yes, yes, yes.

01:20:09.000 So they did that.

01:20:10.000 That'd probably give you a little bit of space.

01:20:12.000 Yeah.

01:20:12.000 Helped it a little bit.

01:20:12.000 Yes.

01:20:13.000 So it feels better, but I know I couldn't take, like, man, somebody punches me or hits me, I'll evaporate, man.

01:20:20.000 Literally, I'll be poof.

01:20:21.000 Yeah, but you don't have to get hit.

01:20:22.000 Jiu-jitsu's not about getting hit.

01:20:23.000 It's just grappling.

01:20:24.000 Okay.

01:20:25.000 Yeah.

01:20:25.000 No.

01:20:26.000 No?

01:20:26.000 I'm good.

01:20:27.000 Okay.

01:20:27.000 Yeah.

01:20:28.000 All right.

01:20:28.000 I don't think I could handle that.

01:20:30.000 You don't have to.

01:20:31.000 Baby steps.

01:20:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:20:32.000 I just started working out again.

01:20:33.000 But I can send you to someone who can inject some stem cells into your knee that'll help you a lot.

01:20:38.000 Do you believe in stem cells?

01:20:39.000 Oh, 100%.

01:20:39.000 Yeah.

01:20:40.000 I've had some significant results.

01:20:42.000 Really?

01:20:42.000 In fact, results that are shown on the MRI. I had a full-length rotator cuff tear in my right shoulder that they were thinking I was going to need surgery on.

01:20:49.000 I got some stem cells, and less than a year later, I had two stem cell injections, and less than a year later, I got another MRI, and it was gone.

01:20:59.000 Have you heard of...

01:21:00.000 That means the tear disappeared.

01:21:02.000 It's gone.

01:21:03.000 It healed up.

01:21:06.000 PRP and something called exosomes.

01:21:08.000 Exosomes and PRP fixed my shoulder.

01:21:10.000 I've done PRP on my knee once.

01:21:13.000 That can help.

01:21:14.000 No, it did help for like a couple years.

01:21:16.000 But have you done NDA? Yes.

01:21:20.000 No, not IV. No, I've done...

01:21:22.000 The pills?

01:21:22.000 I've done the pills.

01:21:24.000 And we've talked about having an IV lady come down here. 0.99

01:21:28.000 Why do I say lady? 0.90

01:21:29.000 NAD, not NDA. Oh, what did you say?

01:21:32.000 NDA is like a non-disclosure agreement, but NAD is...

01:21:34.000 Oh, NAD. I'm sorry.

01:21:35.000 I translated it in my head.

01:21:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:37.000 Thank you.

01:21:39.000 NAD. Yeah, NAD. Did I say NDA? I want to know they're really in my system.

01:21:50.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.87

01:21:51.000 No, NAD. Yeah, NAD. Yeah, yeah. 0.95

01:21:53.000 Yeah, I heard that's the shit. 0.99

01:21:54.000 I've never done the, but I take the pills, but I've never done the intravenous. 1.00

01:21:58.000 I've heard the intravenous is a motherfucker. 0.97

01:21:59.000 I want to try it, but the only thing that scares me, I have a doctor friend, so he's like, oh, you got to try it. 0.99

01:22:05.000 You got to try it.

01:22:06.000 Yeah?

01:22:07.000 What scares you?

01:22:09.000 Well, the tightness of chest when they do it.

01:22:12.000 Oh, that's, yeah.

01:22:13.000 It's supposed to be your gut, apparently.

01:22:15.000 Yeah.

01:22:15.000 So the 10-minute version, the 10-minute push version really is painful.

01:22:19.000 No, no.

01:22:19.000 Well, he says it takes like three, four hours.

01:22:21.000 Yeah, the three, four hour one is easy, apparently.

01:22:24.000 The ten minute one is the one where you're like, Jesus.

01:22:28.000 Come on, bro.

01:22:28.000 We'll do it together.

01:22:29.000 I'll hold your hand.

01:22:29.000 Oh, hell no.

01:22:31.000 I'm just scared.

01:22:33.000 I'm scared of that.

01:22:36.000 Because my friend's name is Dr. Shaw, and he's amazing.

01:22:38.000 He's the type of dude where we'll just go to lunch and he'll tell me all the new stuff that's coming out.

01:22:42.000 And he owns this place called Next Health.

01:22:45.000 It's awesome, but we'll go to lunch right next door and he'll just break down everything.

01:22:50.000 And he's like, dude, NAD. It restores cells.

01:22:54.000 It won't necessarily keep your life, you won't live longer, but your cells get younger and they work better.

01:23:03.000 Your heart will pump blood better.

01:23:05.000 Everything will be better.

01:23:05.000 But you have to do it five days in a row.

01:23:08.000 Five days in a row?

01:23:09.000 Five days in a row.

01:23:10.000 For how long?

01:23:11.000 Five days in a row.

01:23:12.000 But how often?

01:23:13.000 Well, he said like once a year.

01:23:14.000 Once a year?

01:23:15.000 Just five days in a row?

01:23:16.000 Yeah.

01:23:17.000 That's it?

01:23:17.000 Yeah, but it's like three to four hours, man.

01:23:19.000 Like, it's 750 milliliter.

01:23:22.000 I think you can do it in ten minutes if you can gut it out.

01:23:26.000 No.

01:23:27.000 I bet you can.

01:23:28.000 No.

01:23:29.000 I bet David Goggins would do it in ten minutes.

01:23:35.000 Well, here's what I didn't understand about David Goggins.

01:23:38.000 The dudes stretch for two hours.

01:23:39.000 Yep, every night.

01:23:41.000 Every night!

01:23:43.000 I want to know this routine.

01:23:46.000 How could you stretch for two hours?

01:23:49.000 He just does it.

01:23:49.000 He doesn't have a job, first of all.

01:23:51.000 He made, I don't want to say his numbers, but he made an ungodly amount of money on his book.

01:23:57.000 And he doesn't even own a car. 0.92

01:23:59.000 He goes, I'm a black Jew! 0.82

01:24:01.000 I don't spend no money on no car!

01:24:02.000 So he runs everywhere like his videos.

01:24:04.000 His wife has a car and he doesn't buy a car.

01:24:08.000 He's not spending any of that money.

01:24:11.000 He's the real deal.

01:24:13.000 He's not posing.

01:24:14.000 That's that guy all day long, 24 hours a day.

01:24:18.000 And he's honest about every step in the way.

01:24:20.000 He goes, sometimes...

01:24:21.000 I get up and I just look at my sneakers.

01:24:23.000 I look at my sneakers for like a half hour. 0.99

01:24:25.000 I don't do shit. 0.98

01:24:26.000 I just sit there. 0.96

01:24:27.000 I feel sorry for myself.

01:24:28.000 Like, I don't really want to run. 1.00

01:24:30.000 But then it's that, fuck you, bitch. 1.00

01:24:31.000 You're gonna run. 1.00

01:24:33.000 Run, motherfucker. 1.00

01:24:34.000 And he goes, and then once I run, then I feel it. 1.00

01:24:36.000 He goes, and then when I run, I get mad at myself for not wanting to run earlier.

01:24:40.000 So I run more.

01:24:43.000 He's honest about his vulnerabilities and his weakness.

01:24:46.000 He's honest about who he is.

01:24:47.000 But it's also, there's no question he's going to get everything done.

01:24:53.000 He's a complex individual.

01:24:56.000 And I think because of the fact that he's so honest about all that stuff, it makes him even more intriguing.

01:25:02.000 All the pictures of him when he was drinking milkshakes and he was 300 pounds, he loves showing those to people.

01:25:08.000 He's like, that was me.

01:25:09.000 Because that was me. 1.00

01:25:10.000 I was a fat fuck. 1.00

01:25:11.000 I was lazy. 1.00

01:25:12.000 He's like, the first time I went running, I ran like a quarter of a mile, and I was gassed out, and I sit on the side of the road.

01:25:18.000 But do you believe, like, in that book, he thinks everybody has that in him?

01:25:22.000 Do you think everybody...

01:25:24.000 Not to that degree.

01:25:26.000 Man, because that book was insane.

01:25:27.000 Well, I think...

01:25:29.000 It depends.

01:25:32.000 I mean, everybody has that in him if you choose to act the way he acts.

01:25:35.000 But that book is insane.

01:25:38.000 And you learn, because I read the book as well, you learn from that book.

01:25:41.000 And the audio book I would actually recommend over the book.

01:25:44.000 Oh, it's so good.

01:25:45.000 Because in between chapters, he talks about all the different things that happened and actually elaborates in a more extensive way. 0.98

01:25:55.000 It makes you go, holy shit. 0.99

01:25:56.000 Like, his life was hell. 1.00

01:25:59.000 His father was a monster, and he did not have a happy childhood by any stretch of the imagination. 0.62

01:26:05.000 It was horrible. 0.95

01:26:06.000 It was filled with torture and racism and strife and struggle, and he felt sorry for himself, and it was terrible. 1.00

01:26:15.000 But all those demons, now he has those motherfuckers locked up pushing the wheel. 1.00

01:26:21.000 You know that iron wheel that Conan was on? 1.00

01:26:25.000 They're in his head now, pushing his wheel. 1.00

01:26:28.000 He's got those motherfuckers working for him now. 1.00

01:26:30.000 They work for him. 1.00

01:26:32.000 He's in control.

01:26:33.000 And so that fuel is not everybody.

01:26:36.000 Everybody doesn't have those demons.

01:26:38.000 The person that's gone through the kind of life that David Goggins has had is the type of person that has those demons. 0.99

01:26:43.000 And all of those long-distance motherfuckers, they all have demons. 1.00

01:26:47.000 All of them. 1.00

01:26:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:48.000 My friend Cam Haynes, he's got a ton of demons.

01:26:50.000 He'll tell you.

01:26:51.000 He's like, you would not want to have had my childhood.

01:26:53.000 It was not a happy childhood.

01:26:54.000 And those people that, like, you would think that having a happy childhood is good.

01:27:00.000 And that's what I'm trying to provide for my family, and I know that's what you're trying to provide for your family.

01:27:04.000 100%.

01:27:05.000 But to be there and to be loving and to be playful and be supportive and all the good things that I wish I had when I was a kid.

01:27:13.000 I want to provide that to my kids.

01:27:15.000 But part of the reason why I'm who I am is because my childhood sucked.

01:27:20.000 That's what it was. 0.95

01:27:21.000 It didn't suck as bad as David Goggins. 0.98

01:27:23.000 It didn't suck as bad as people that have been raped and didn't suck as bad as people who were continually molested and beaten and all those things. 0.97

01:27:31.000 I want to compare with someone who was a real victim. 0.84

01:27:35.000 It's just mine wasn't good.

01:27:37.000 But it wasn't happy.

01:27:39.000 And that drove me.

01:27:41.000 That drove me.

01:27:42.000 I needed to prove my value.

01:27:44.000 I don't know my dad.

01:27:45.000 I needed to prove my self-worth.

01:27:47.000 I needed to prove that I was worth something.

01:27:49.000 I didn't feel like I was as good as other kids.

01:27:52.000 I felt insecure.

01:27:54.000 Always.

01:27:55.000 Always growing up.

01:27:56.000 It wasn't until I started being good at something that I realized you could get positive reactions from people from being good at something.

01:28:06.000 And then I became obsessed with being good at things.

01:28:08.000 And so that became my life.

01:28:10.000 It became, I know what to do now.

01:28:12.000 I know how to grind.

01:28:13.000 So do you think when people have a great upbringing, for them to be successful, it's actually, it's harder.

01:28:20.000 It's harder.

01:28:21.000 It's harder.

01:28:21.000 Because you have everything.

01:28:22.000 Show me a man who's the son of a great man.

01:28:28.000 Show me a great man who's the son of a great man.

01:28:31.000 It's very rare.

01:28:32.000 It's very rare.

01:28:33.000 Most men who are the sons of great men struggle in the shadow of their father.

01:28:38.000 Most of them.

01:28:41.000 Because the kid doesn't have to struggle.

01:28:43.000 The kid doesn't have to struggle.

01:28:45.000 You're comparing yourself to someone who is exceptional and you're always in their shadow.

01:28:53.000 The only time it's different is in sports.

01:28:56.000 Occasionally, those fathers...

01:28:58.000 Mentor those kids and those kids derive a bunch of self-esteem and a bunch of positive feedback from that parent if the parent does it correctly.

01:29:06.000 Like Ilio Gracie, who's the founder of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, one of the founders along with Carlos Gracie. 1.00

01:29:14.000 One of the things that he did with his children, and Ilya was a great man, and his children are fucking assassins. 0.95

01:29:20.000 I mean, he developed literally an army of the greatest martial artists the world has ever known. 0.98

01:29:26.000 One of the things he did when they would compete, he would give them prizes if they lost.

01:29:31.000 He didn't put any pressure on them.

01:29:33.000 He understood early on that putting pressure on kids and making, like, this is your whole life, they crack, they break, they just can't take it anymore, and then they wind up doing drugs, and they escape, and they give up.

01:29:43.000 He made it playful.

01:29:44.000 He made it fun for them.

01:29:46.000 And then when things were terrible and they lost, they felt awful, he would give them a toy.

01:29:51.000 He would buy them things.

01:29:52.000 And he was like, you did your best.

01:29:55.000 It's okay.

01:29:56.000 No pressure.

01:29:57.000 No pressure like that. 0.98

01:29:58.000 And I don't know if that would work on everybody, but God damn it would work on his kids. 0.94

01:30:02.000 It's Hoist Gracie, Hickson Gracie, Hoyler Gracie, Helson. 0.94

01:30:06.000 Those are the greatest martial artists the world's ever known.

01:30:09.000 All out of one man.

01:30:11.000 All one man's children. 0.98

01:30:13.000 And because this guy had this philosophy on not putting pressure on them and being loving.

01:30:18.000 So it can be done.

01:30:19.000 But most people are not going to do it that way.

01:30:21.000 Because to him, probably when he was coming up, he was punished for losing.

01:30:24.000 Probably.

01:30:25.000 I don't know.

01:30:26.000 I mean, it's hard to tell.

01:30:27.000 I don't know what his life was like with his father.

01:30:30.000 I've never read into it.

01:30:31.000 But I think that it's really hard to come from a happy, loving life.

01:30:39.000 And be exceptional.

01:30:40.000 And be charismatic.

01:30:42.000 Guys like Joey Diaz, right?

01:30:43.000 Where's the Joey Diaz come from?

01:30:45.000 You can't make a Joey Diaz in a lab. 1.00

01:30:48.000 He's a fucking animal. 1.00

01:30:49.000 He's a savage. 1.00

01:30:50.000 And the shit that he says on stage and how funny he is, bro, you gotta have a hard life. 1.00

01:30:54.000 Joey Diaz found his mother dead on the floor while he was on acid when he was 13 years old, okay? 1.00

01:31:00.000 And his dad was already gone by that point.

01:31:02.000 And he was adopted by his friend's parents. 0.99

01:31:04.000 Like, Joey Diaz has had a hard fucking life. 0.99

01:31:06.000 I would never wish that on anybody. 1.00

01:31:08.000 Especially my children.

01:31:10.000 But that is what made him the animal that he is today.

01:31:14.000 You read David Goggin's book.

01:31:16.000 That struggle made him who he is.

01:31:17.000 Mike Tyson, terrible childhood.

01:31:19.000 Became this ferocious combat sports athlete.

01:31:23.000 Probably one of the greatest heavyweight champions of all time.

01:31:28.000 A legend, right?

01:31:29.000 Why?

01:31:30.000 Out of pain, out of suffering, out of understanding that you don't want to ever go back to that place again.

01:31:37.000 You have to find some way out.

01:31:40.000 So I think that's why some parents, you know, they call them the helicopter parent or the dad that's always at football practice that's yelling at their son.

01:31:49.000 You know, like, I think...

01:31:51.000 They know that too, so they try to make, sometimes parents try to make it more difficult on their kids. 0.75

01:31:56.000 I think those people are usually living vicariously through their children, and they usually were bitch athletes, and they want their kids to be good. 1.00

01:32:06.000 Are you competitive? 0.97

01:32:07.000 Are you a competitive dad?

01:32:09.000 No.

01:32:10.000 What do you mean?

01:32:10.000 In what way?

01:32:12.000 When my kids do sports, I make a real concerted effort to be happy for everybody, to clap for everybody.

01:32:18.000 The other team, to say, that was really good. 0.99

01:32:22.000 When my daughters play sports, they played basketball and soccer and a bunch of other shit. 1.00

01:32:27.000 I always go out of my way to say, that girl on the other team is really good. 0.98

01:32:32.000 Wow, look how good she is at passing. 1.00

01:32:34.000 No judgment. 1.00

01:32:35.000 No, fuck that team. 1.00

01:32:36.000 We're number one. 1.00

01:32:37.000 That's nonsense. 1.00

01:32:39.000 Some of those parents do that shit, and then it gets me upset. 1.00

01:32:41.000 I'm like, that little girl knows how to hustle. 1.00

01:32:43.000 Look at her go. 0.99

01:32:44.000 I make an effort to praise everybody.

01:32:46.000 See, I would be like that, but right now my son is two, and I get mad when other two-year-olds are bigger than him.

01:32:52.000 I'm that dude right now.

01:32:55.000 You love him.

01:33:00.000 It's hard.

01:33:00.000 I love him, but I want him to be the biggest, the best.

01:33:03.000 Why the biggest?

01:33:05.000 You're a big guy.

01:33:06.000 He's going to be a big kid.

01:33:07.000 Some kids grow later.

01:33:09.000 I hope so.

01:33:10.000 How big is your wife? 1.00

01:33:11.000 She's 5'9".

01:33:13.000 So you're going to have a big kid.

01:33:15.000 I hope so.

01:33:15.000 But right now...

01:33:16.000 Don't worry about it.

01:33:17.000 Feed him.

01:33:18.000 Give him elk meat.

01:33:18.000 I'll give you some.

01:33:19.000 But the doctor was like, well, he's on the smaller side.

01:33:21.000 And that really messed me up. 1.00

01:33:22.000 Oh, don't let him fuck with that! 1.00

01:33:25.000 It's a... 1.00

01:33:26.000 And so now, every time, and I hate that I'm this guy, every time, I'm always like, hey, how was your kid?

01:33:32.000 He's two.

01:33:32.000 I know, but I'm that dude, dude.

01:33:34.000 Oh, no.

01:33:35.000 But I won't be that after I know.

01:33:37.000 Like, he's very athletic.

01:33:38.000 He hits a golf ball like a beast already.

01:33:40.000 At two?

01:33:41.000 Oh.

01:33:43.000 Joe.

01:33:43.000 Yo, you got another Tiger Woods coming?

01:33:45.000 Do me a favor.

01:33:47.000 You have to see this, Joe.

01:33:48.000 Really?

01:33:49.000 Pull up my Instagram.

01:33:51.000 Go down about six rows.

01:33:52.000 It's sad that I know exactly where it is.

01:33:54.000 But...

01:33:57.000 And it's a photo of him or a video of him?

01:33:59.000 No, it's a video of him.

01:34:00.000 Hitting a golf ball?

01:34:02.000 Out of the yard, like over a fence.

01:34:04.000 Really?

01:34:05.000 And this was six months ago.

01:34:06.000 So he was just turned to.

01:34:09.000 Wow.

01:34:10.000 And I don't force it on him.

01:34:12.000 I want to put him through golf.

01:34:14.000 He watches it on TV because I like watching golf sometimes.

01:34:17.000 So he watches it.

01:34:18.000 It's him.

01:34:19.000 You see it?

01:34:21.000 Yeah.

01:34:22.000 I mean, it's amazing. 1.00

01:34:24.000 We take him to, sometimes he'll, he has the ass to play. 0.99

01:34:27.000 So if he asks me, he'll go, I want to go, like, to range. 0.98

01:34:31.000 So I'll take him to the driving range.

01:34:34.000 Professional golfers sit there and watch him.

01:34:37.000 Really?

01:34:38.000 Coaches, coaches will, how do, okay.

01:34:42.000 No, no, no.

01:34:43.000 Go back a couple more.

01:34:44.000 Go back a couple more.

01:34:45.000 There is, it's right, where is it, where is it, where is it?

01:34:51.000 No.

01:34:53.000 This one?

01:34:55.000 Yes!

01:34:56.000 That one right there.

01:34:56.000 Watch this.

01:35:00.000 Wow!

01:35:02.000 Over the fence.

01:35:03.000 And watch him hold it.

01:35:08.000 Dude, that's incredible.

01:35:10.000 Yeah.

01:35:10.000 That's incredible for a two-year-old.

01:35:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:35:13.000 He got some fucking air time there. 0.99

01:35:15.000 Look at that thing go. 1.00

01:35:16.000 Yeah, over the fence.

01:35:17.000 That's crazy.

01:35:18.000 And the ball looks so big because he's little.

01:35:21.000 So little, yeah.

01:35:22.000 Wow.

01:35:23.000 Look at that.

01:35:23.000 That's nuts.

01:35:25.000 Over the fence.

01:35:26.000 Dude, and we didn't even teach him.

01:35:28.000 See, that's incredible.

01:35:30.000 You didn't teach him how to do that?

01:35:31.000 No, he watched it on TV, and I don't know how to play golf.

01:35:34.000 I've never played golf.

01:35:35.000 You don't know how to play golf?

01:35:35.000 I've never played golf.

01:35:36.000 That's crazy.

01:35:38.000 You watch golf and you don't play golf?

01:35:40.000 When Tiger Woods, you remember when he won the, this was about the time, like six, seven, eight months ago, when he won the, he came back and made a big win.

01:35:47.000 Mm-hmm.

01:35:47.000 And I was like, oh, let's watch it.

01:35:48.000 So my son started like, golf, golf, golf.

01:35:52.000 So we grabbed a golf club.

01:35:53.000 My father-in-law plays golf, but he comes over sometimes.

01:35:56.000 But my son just took to it, picked up a golf club, we bought him some stuff, and he just started hitting balls.

01:36:02.000 That's crazy.

01:36:03.000 It's bananas.

01:36:04.000 But that's really crazy.

01:36:05.000 Because if he can do that with twisting the torso, and he knows how to rotate his feet, that's one of the things that kids get stuck when you teach them martial arts.

01:36:13.000 They don't rotate their feet.

01:36:15.000 Right?

01:36:16.000 Because the way to get torque is you have to pivot on the ball on your feet.

01:36:21.000 He's doing that instinctively.

01:36:23.000 Already got it.

01:36:24.000 That's amazing.

01:36:24.000 That's what he's mirroring.

01:36:25.000 So I was saying these coaches are like, how old is he?

01:36:28.000 I'm like, two.

01:36:29.000 They're like, okay.

01:36:30.000 Let me know when he's five.

01:36:31.000 Because they can't coach a kid until they're five.

01:36:34.000 I guess that's some kind of golf rule or something.

01:36:37.000 Dude, he's going to be a wizard by the time he's five.

01:36:39.000 Take him to miniature golf and work on his putting skills.

01:36:42.000 Yeah.

01:36:42.000 And then by the time he's five.

01:36:44.000 Dude, I'm going to be retired in about 17 years.

01:36:46.000 He feels pro, dude.

01:36:47.000 I'm just talking about gravy training.

01:36:49.000 That's me.

01:36:50.000 There's so much money in golf.

01:36:51.000 Like that's something you should really...

01:36:53.000 I have a friend and his daughter is playing golf and he got her into golf specifically because he said that's a great way to get a scholarship.

01:37:01.000 If you could go back and play what sport, what would it be?

01:37:03.000 Me, it's golf, 100%.

01:37:04.000 Pool.

01:37:05.000 I wish pool had a professional league.

01:37:07.000 I mean, it does have a professional league, but you can't make any money.

01:37:12.000 Well, I'm talking about money.

01:37:13.000 Like, if you go back and play one thing to make money.

01:37:15.000 I avoided golf because I get addicted to games, and I knew golf would take eight hours.

01:37:22.000 I would see comics that would really get into golf, and I'd see their comedy slip off.

01:37:26.000 Because they were paying too much attention to golf.

01:37:29.000 And I was like, oh, that ain't good.

01:37:31.000 And you're tired. 0.99

01:37:32.000 You're walking around the course all day with a fucking bag of clubs because comics are poor. 1.00

01:37:35.000 They can't afford a caddy or a fucking golf cart. 1.00

01:37:40.000 You're playing in public courses. 1.00

01:37:41.000 And I would see these guys.

01:37:42.000 They'd come in sunburnt, eight hours of drinking and knocking a ball around.

01:37:47.000 And then they'd be tired when they did stand-up. 0.99

01:37:49.000 And I was like, oh, I can't fuck with this. 1.00

01:37:51.000 That golf bag is heavy. 1.00

01:37:52.000 Also, I have a real addiction problem with games.

01:37:56.000 It's a real issue.

01:37:57.000 I get very, very, very addicted to games. 0.99

01:38:00.000 So I can't fuck with golf. 0.99

01:38:02.000 I know you love those shooter games, right? 0.99

01:38:04.000 I love all those games.

01:38:05.000 I love Quake.

01:38:06.000 Quake is the big one for me.

01:38:07.000 I love playing pool, too.

01:38:08.000 Playing pool was a huge part of my youth when I lived in New York.

01:38:13.000 I played in tournaments.

01:38:14.000 I played every day.

01:38:15.000 I would go to the comedy club.

01:38:17.000 This is what I would do.

01:38:18.000 This is my morning day.

01:38:19.000 I would get up around noon, usually.

01:38:21.000 I'd go to the gym, work out, go to the pool hall, hang out, play a little bit, go do my comedy show, come home from my comedy show, go straight to the pool hall.

01:38:30.000 I would bring my pool cue with me to the shows.

01:38:34.000 I'd leave it in my trunk.

01:38:35.000 And then on my way back from the comedy club, I would go straight to the pool hall.

01:38:40.000 I'd play all night.

01:38:41.000 So were you good?

01:38:41.000 Yeah, I was good.

01:38:42.000 Oh, okay.

01:38:43.000 Yeah.

01:38:43.000 I could play.

01:38:44.000 Like, I'm a B player.

01:38:45.000 I'm like, what you would call a B player.

01:38:46.000 Like, I've won tournaments before.

01:38:48.000 When I was playing every...

01:38:50.000 I mean, not like a big tournament.

01:38:52.000 But I played in some professional tournaments.

01:38:54.000 I never did well.

01:38:55.000 But, you know, I beat some people that were pretty decent players.

01:38:59.000 I never beat a real, like, legit pro.

01:39:01.000 But I could have played professional if I really put the time and effort into it.

01:39:09.000 Like, I can run out.

01:39:10.000 Like, I can break and run out a game of nine.

01:39:12.000 Gotcha.

01:39:13.000 I think the most I've broken and run out is...

01:39:15.000 I think I broke out four racks in a row, and I think I ran 70 balls playing straight pool.

01:39:21.000 It's not top of the food chain, but it's legit.

01:39:24.000 I can play a little bit.

01:39:26.000 What you would call a shortstop.

01:39:27.000 That's what you would call a shortstop player. 0.68

01:39:30.000 But I I mean, this is when I was in my early, early 20s.

01:39:33.000 If I dedicated myself to it, I had the desire and I had the interest to try to play professionally.

01:39:39.000 And the difference between someone who's an amateur and a professional is really just about time and focus and desire.

01:39:46.000 But there's no money in it.

01:39:47.000 If there was money in a professional pool, like golf money, I would have went pro.

01:39:52.000 100%.

01:39:53.000 I love it.

01:39:54.000 My thing is I wanted to be a professional football player until I got all these concussions.

01:39:58.000 Now I look at my son and everybody goes, are you going to let your son play football?

01:40:01.000 And I'm like, no.

01:40:02.000 Don't.

01:40:02.000 I can't.

01:40:03.000 No.

01:40:03.000 I would let my son fight for sure.

01:40:05.000 I would never let him play football.

01:40:06.000 No.

01:40:07.000 Those are car wrecks happening every time each other hit each other in the head.

01:40:10.000 Exactly.

01:40:11.000 That's exactly the way to look at it.

01:40:12.000 It's a car wreck.

01:40:13.000 Because, like, even when you get knocked out, like, it's not nearly, even occasionally it is, but most of the time it's not.

01:40:20.000 It's not nearly the kind of force that a football player gets hit all the time.

01:40:23.000 And you get hit like that in practice, you get hit like that in high school, you get hit like that in college, you get hit like that in all these games, and it all adds up, man.

01:40:31.000 It all adds up.

01:40:32.000 And a lot of these guys, by the time they're young, like, they said Aaron Hernandez, when he died, when they checked his brain, he had one of the worst cases of CTE they had ever seen.

01:40:43.000 Almost like his brain lived like 50 or 60. It was aged so much in a short amount of time.

01:40:49.000 Did you watch that documentary?

01:40:51.000 I haven't watched that documentary.

01:40:52.000 It's insane.

01:40:52.000 But also when we go over the stuff that's in CTE, mood and all the other impulsive, bad behavior, all those issues, that was that guy's life.

01:41:02.000 Yeah.

01:41:02.000 That was what he did.

01:41:03.000 And how much of that shit came from playing football? 1.00

01:41:08.000 All of it. 1.00

01:41:09.000 A giant percentage of it.

01:41:10.000 A giant percentage of it.

01:41:11.000 Well, even football, when you get successful, it brings on the wrong kind of friends.

01:41:14.000 So even if it wasn't his head, money and fame brings different kind of people in your life, too.

01:41:20.000 For sure.

01:41:20.000 And also, you're being rewarded for being ultra-violent.

01:41:24.000 Your success comes from being ultra-violent.

01:41:28.000 That's a thing that happens with fighters.

01:41:30.000 You develop...

01:41:33.000 Skills to hurt people, right?

01:41:35.000 And then as you get better at hurting people, you get more accolades, you get more success, and then you delve further and deeper into this world of being this ultra-violent assassin.

01:41:47.000 And then that becomes your identity.

01:41:50.000 Your identity is you're the guy who smashes people.

01:41:53.000 You know, and it's a hard train to get off, too.

01:41:58.000 Once you're on that, and that's your life, and then all of a sudden you're 36, 37. And then you can't do it anymore.

01:42:02.000 Yeah, you can't do it anymore, or you're not doing it well, and you're becoming the nail, and not the hammer. 0.99

01:42:06.000 And you're like, fuck, what am I doing with my life? 0.98

01:42:08.000 And then with each fight that you have, when you're slipping a little bit, you say, I'm just going to fight until I'm 40. The real damage... 1.00

01:42:16.000 Is those ages 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 fights.

01:42:19.000 That's where the real damage is coming in.

01:42:21.000 Because those are the ones you're getting KO'd.

01:42:23.000 Those are the ones you're getting rocked all the time.

01:42:25.000 You know, you lost a step.

01:42:27.000 You've taken a lot of damage.

01:42:28.000 Maybe your knees are gone. 1.00

01:42:29.000 Maybe your back's fucked up. 1.00

01:42:30.000 And... 1.00

01:42:33.000 It's hard, man.

01:42:34.000 People have a tough time quitting.

01:42:36.000 Oh, man.

01:42:38.000 Look, I see football players.

01:42:41.000 I used to know a lot of football players.

01:42:43.000 I would interview them and different things like that.

01:42:45.000 It's crazy that all your life, you're glorified as this one thing.

01:42:49.000 And then once it's gone, it's...

01:42:51.000 It's hard.

01:42:52.000 Like, I remember when I couldn't play college football anymore, it's like, what do I do now?

01:42:55.000 You get some type of depression where you're like, this is what I trained all my life for, and now it's gone, now what do I do?

01:43:02.000 Well, one of the reasons why I do so many different things is because I don't like banking on any one thing.

01:43:07.000 100%.

01:43:08.000 I don't think it's wise.

01:43:09.000 It's not good for me, either.

01:43:11.000 I like being interested in different stuff, you know?

01:43:14.000 That's also why I have all these hobbies.

01:43:17.000 I have all these different things that I'm interested in, whether it's playing pool or archery or hunting or any of these other things that I'm interested in.

01:43:24.000 I'm not just interested in them for the end, like with hunting, the end is always the Excellent meat that you get out of it and the fact that you're eating this organic, wild game that's the best food in the world.

01:43:35.000 That's for sure number one.

01:43:37.000 But it's also the difficulty in the pursuit allows me to express myself in a different way.

01:43:43.000 It also allows me, because I'm not that good at it.

01:43:46.000 I mean, I'm better at it than a regular person, but in terms of, like, I have friends that are, like, world-class archers and bowhunters, like my friends John Dudley and Cameron Haynes.

01:43:55.000 Those two guys are two of the very best bowhunters in the world, and they're my mentors, and they help me out a lot.

01:44:00.000 But I like sucking at things, because you can learn about yourself.

01:44:04.000 You learn about yourself from concentrating. 0.91

01:44:05.000 It's not something that's...

01:44:07.000 It's ingrained in my psyche, in my brain.

01:44:10.000 It's something that I have to concentrate on and practice every day. 0.96

01:44:13.000 And I think there's a real benefit in sucking at things. 0.96

01:44:16.000 Even if you're excellent at something, find something you suck at and get better at it. 0.95

01:44:22.000 There's real benefit to that, to being a beginner.

01:44:25.000 It stimulates your mind in a way that when you've already achieved a certain level of Of success or a certain level of high level of ability at something where you've been doing it most of your life.

01:44:40.000 You sort of like you get accustomed to this feeling of being really good at something.

01:44:44.000 The real growth is in sucking. 0.71

01:44:47.000 The real growth is in like... 0.95

01:44:49.000 That's why I like yoga. 0.99

01:44:50.000 I've been doing yoga for, like, fucking years. 1.00

01:44:51.000 I still suck. 1.00

01:44:52.000 I suck. 1.00

01:44:54.000 Like, most classes, I fall out of poses. 0.98

01:44:57.000 I don't ever, I mean, occasionally make it through the whole pose without falling out, sweating and shaking and straining.

01:45:04.000 But I never made it through an entire class without ever falling out of any poses.

01:45:08.000 I've never done that ever.

01:45:09.000 Ever.

01:45:09.000 I've never had one class where I made it to the end.

01:45:12.000 But I see these old ladies doing it right next to me all the time. 1.00

01:45:15.000 Crushing it.

01:45:16.000 Little 90-year-old old lady just fucking holding her feet up in front of her. 1.00

01:45:22.000 Some people have done that kind of shit a long time. 1.00

01:45:26.000 I mean, it's great for them. 1.00

01:45:28.000 Don't get me wrong. 0.97

01:45:28.000 The real growth in things is sucking. 0.97

01:45:32.000 Learning. 0.94

01:45:33.000 Learning.

01:45:33.000 Like, how do I do this?

01:45:34.000 What do I do?

01:45:35.000 Because then when you can do it, it's all the more gratifying.

01:45:37.000 It's all the more gratifying, but also it opens up new pathways in your mind when you learn.

01:45:43.000 Learning things. 0.97

01:45:44.000 Whether you're learning a language, and I'm talking out of my ass there because I don't know any languages. 0.73

01:45:48.000 But this is what I've been told, is that it helps you intellectually when you're learning a game like chess that's complex, when you're learning archery, when you're learning things that require all these moving parts to come together. 0.83

01:45:59.000 That's why martial arts is so good.

01:46:01.000 You're using your brain because you're thinking things through.

01:46:05.000 You're also using your brain because you're managing your emotions.

01:46:08.000 You're also using your brain because you're managing your discipline and your will because you don't want to quit.

01:46:14.000 And then you're using your brain to try to harden your body and condition your body and get it to the point where you can actually do jujitsu effectively.

01:46:24.000 And then you also have to get disciplined so that you go to the gym all the time.

01:46:27.000 So you have strength in order to execute these moves.

01:46:30.000 And you have cardiovascular endurance in order to survive the rounds.

01:46:33.000 All those things are not just good for jujitsu.

01:46:37.000 They're good for life.

01:46:39.000 Like my Taekwondo instructor said something to me when I was real young.

01:46:42.000 And he said, Taekwondo is a vehicle for developing your human potential.

01:46:48.000 And I was like, oh, I get it.

01:46:50.000 So this is just a thing I'm doing, and the better I get at this thing, now I understand how to get good at things.

01:46:56.000 That's what it is.

01:46:57.000 So when you do something new that you suck at, whether it's yoga or playing golf or anything...

01:47:05.000 The growth is in learning.

01:47:08.000 The growth is in figuring—oh, what do I—how am I holding it?

01:47:10.000 Like this?

01:47:11.000 Yeah.

01:47:11.000 Okay, like this here?

01:47:12.000 Like, you learn, and in learning, there's something that happens to you.

01:47:17.000 Like, your mind expands.

01:47:19.000 The synapses fire.

01:47:20.000 You see things better.

01:47:22.000 I'm so disappointed in myself because I said when my son was born, I have a lady that comes over and I tell her, just speak Spanish to him.

01:47:29.000 You know, three days a week.

01:47:32.000 And I said, by the time he's two or three, I'm going to know Spanish too because I'm going to learn it when he learns it. 0.82

01:47:37.000 Goddammit, I don't know one word of Spanish besides hola, right?

01:47:41.000 But I'm upstairs the other day, and this lady is talking to my son in Spanish, and he's answering in Spanish, and I have no idea what they're talking about.

01:47:50.000 A little wizard, a little golf play in Spanish.

01:47:52.000 He's like, hola, como estas?

01:47:53.000 I'm like, what the hell?

01:47:56.000 It is great for them, man.

01:47:58.000 Oh, it's so good.

01:47:59.000 But like my...

01:47:59.000 I don't know.

01:48:00.000 My parents didn't...

01:48:02.000 Like, why wouldn't they teach me another...

01:48:04.000 Why wouldn't my mom talk to me in Korean?

01:48:06.000 She wanted to Americanize me because people made fun of her. 1.00

01:48:08.000 So now it's...

01:48:09.000 Like, it's cool to know other languages now.

01:48:12.000 Before, it was like, oh, you know, they would...

01:48:14.000 Do this to my mom.

01:48:15.000 You know, the Asian eyes to my mom. 0.72

01:48:16.000 So my mom was like, I got to Americanize you as soon as possible.

01:48:19.000 I don't want you to have to go through that.

01:48:21.000 And I feel cheated because I should know Korean.

01:48:23.000 I should know Spanish.

01:48:25.000 I lived in Texas and Miami.

01:48:27.000 And I'm just this dude that doesn't even...

01:48:29.000 I lived in Miami for eight years and don't know Spanish.

01:48:33.000 And Texas. 0.99

01:48:34.000 I'm pathetic. 0.99

01:48:35.000 And I said my daughter was born. 0.99

01:48:37.000 I go, you know what?

01:48:38.000 By the time she's three, I'm going to learn Spanish.

01:48:40.000 She's three months.

01:48:41.000 I haven't taken one class.

01:48:42.000 But I am, though.

01:48:43.000 I am going to start doing it.

01:48:44.000 Here's what you do.

01:48:45.000 What do you listen to when you're in your car, when you're driving around?

01:48:47.000 Books.

01:48:48.000 Books.

01:48:49.000 Just listen to Spanish.

01:48:50.000 Listen to things like one of those Rosetta Stone.

01:48:55.000 You know what?

01:48:57.000 Last time I was here, I started working out.

01:48:59.000 Next time I come, I'm going to do my whole interview in Spanish.

01:49:02.000 You know, Tom Segura is doing his whole special in Spanish.

01:49:05.000 I didn't even know the dude spoke Spanish.

01:49:07.000 Tom Segura speaks fluent.

01:49:09.000 You should see him and his mom. 0.96

01:49:10.000 Him and his mom together doing a podcast in Spanish is fucking hilarious. 0.97

01:49:14.000 His mom's hilarious. 0.99

01:49:16.000 His mom farts so loud, and he caught her. 0.99

01:49:20.000 Like, Like she was farting like in the house and they were laughing at it and so then he filmed her when she didn't know and she's sitting in front of the kitchen and she rips this fucking tremendous fart. 0.98

01:49:33.000 Listen to them. 0.92

01:49:34.000 Play some of it because it's hilarious.

01:49:43.000 See, he looks like a bro.

01:49:48.000 Yeah, he does.

01:49:49.000 You know what's interesting? 1.00

01:49:50.000 People talk shit around him in Spanish, and then he'll like, wait, let it go for a little while, and then he'll just respond in perfect Spanish, and they're like, oh, fuck that. 0.99

01:50:01.000 Yeah, he just signed a two-deal Netflix special. 1.00

01:50:04.000 One in English and one in Spanish.

01:50:07.000 Dude, I could have done one in English and one in Korean.

01:50:09.000 Oh, Mom!

01:50:11.000 You're screwing me out of money over here!

01:50:13.000 Is there anyone who's doing other bilingual specials?

01:50:17.000 Is there anyone who's doing two different...

01:50:19.000 I mean, I'm sure there is, but...

01:50:21.000 Joey Diaz does Spanglish shows.

01:50:24.000 So he'll do, like, half of it in English and half of it in Spanish.

01:50:26.000 And he'll let the people know.

01:50:28.000 Like, he's doing some shows in Miami.

01:50:29.000 And he writes down, they're in Spanglish.

01:50:32.000 So he's letting people know.

01:50:33.000 A lot of what he's going to be doing is, like, Cuban-flavored stand-up.

01:50:36.000 Well, in Miami, all the radio stations, they're Spanglish.

01:50:40.000 Most of them.

01:50:40.000 Yeah, they go, hola, como estas?

01:50:42.000 All right, coming up.

01:50:42.000 And then they go, like, that's all I know.

01:50:44.000 That's sad.

01:50:45.000 That's all I know is hola, como estas?

01:50:46.000 You can learn.

01:50:47.000 I will.

01:50:48.000 Okay.

01:50:48.000 I will.

01:50:49.000 Don't get aggressive.

01:50:49.000 No, no, no, no.

01:50:50.000 Last time I was here, I started lifting weights and everything.

01:50:53.000 So now, next time I come, I'm speaking Spanish, Korean.

01:50:56.000 Beautiful.

01:50:56.000 You got a podcast studio now.

01:50:58.000 You're rolling.

01:50:59.000 I'm telling you, it's inspiring.

01:51:01.000 Dude, you are inspiring.

01:51:03.000 Oh, thank you.

01:51:03.000 I'm very happy to hear that.

01:51:05.000 I love it.

01:51:05.000 But what I love about you, they're...

01:51:08.000 They are all about the positivity.

01:51:11.000 I know a lot of times they can leave some comments and stuff like that, but the people that reached out to me, and I don't read comments, but the people that directly DM me, it was all like, dude, this, this, this, this, this is sending me workouts.

01:51:24.000 And I was like, this is great, man.

01:51:26.000 This is what it's about.

01:51:26.000 That makes me very, very happy.

01:51:27.000 This is what it's about.

01:51:28.000 That is what it's about.

01:51:29.000 That makes me very happy.

01:51:30.000 Yeah.

01:51:31.000 Yeah, man, I think if you put that out there, that's what comes back.

01:51:34.000 I think when you have a negative message, You know, you're going to get a lot of negativity your way.

01:51:39.000 Yeah.

01:51:40.000 You know, people that are real negative all the time, their fans are all negative.

01:51:43.000 I mean, it just goes hand in hand, doesn't it?

01:51:46.000 Yeah, it does.

01:51:47.000 It does.

01:51:47.000 Like, my friend, you know, I have a friend, you know, he hasn't broke or anything, but he's a comic, but when he goes up, he goes, I don't know why I always get heckled.

01:51:56.000 Like, literally every time I go up, I get heckled.

01:51:58.000 And I go, well, you're always yelling out the crowd.

01:52:02.000 He goes up yelling at the crowd. 1.00

01:52:04.000 If they don't laugh at the beginning, well, fuck you guys. 1.00

01:52:08.000 I mean, you're yelling at them. 1.00

01:52:11.000 Yeah, of course.

01:52:12.000 They're not laughing right now.

01:52:13.000 Well, I don't think it's them. 1.00

01:52:14.000 It's you, bitch. 1.00

01:52:19.000 Think about people that are inspiring. 1.00

01:52:22.000 Think about Goggins, right?

01:52:23.000 Goggins' message has changed so many people's lives.

01:52:28.000 And he's changing their lives, a lot of it, just by explaining what he does.

01:52:33.000 So he puts that energy out there, people attract that energy, and then they respond likewise.

01:52:38.000 They respond in turn.

01:52:39.000 That's what happens in this world.

01:52:42.000 And then there's always people that are hating on I don't like measuring up to someone and coming up short.

01:53:06.000 When you see a guy like David Goggins and you realize, like, I don't have that kind of will.

01:53:10.000 I just don't have that kind of will.

01:53:12.000 This guy's getting up every day and running marathons.

01:53:14.000 He broke the world record for the amount of chin-ups you can do in 24 hours.

01:53:19.000 But he's not asking you to do that.

01:53:20.000 Like this morning.

01:53:21.000 The perfect example.

01:53:22.000 At 4.30 I woke up.

01:53:23.000 And I always have coffee at 5.00.

01:53:26.000 You always wake up at 4.30?

01:53:27.000 4.30.

01:53:28.000 Why?

01:53:29.000 After I read that book.

01:53:30.000 Really?

01:53:31.000 Oh yeah.

01:53:31.000 I wake up at 4.30 now every morning.

01:53:33.000 And at 5.00 I drink a coffee and I work out at 6.00.

01:53:36.000 At 5.15 I was like, you know what?

01:53:40.000 Maybe I'm not going to.

01:53:41.000 And then WTFO. On my mirror, I was like, work the fuck out. 0.98

01:53:44.000 And I was like, I'm going to go. 0.99

01:53:45.000 Because of that book, I'm still drinking that Kool-Aid, man.

01:53:49.000 Wow.

01:53:49.000 That's good Kool-Aid, though.

01:53:51.000 So it's changed my life, man.

01:53:52.000 Like when I say I did this, it changed my life.

01:53:54.000 4.30 every morning, and I go and I fall asleep around 9.00.

01:53:57.000 Every single day, that's my schedule.

01:53:59.000 That's beautiful.

01:53:59.000 Yeah!

01:54:00.000 That's a good schedule.

01:54:01.000 And since the last time I've been here, I was like, look, I hosted a lot, but now I'm just going to invest in stand-up, and I know you're out of acting, but I want to just, I want to support, my goal by the end of this year is be able to 100% fully support my family just on stand-up.

01:54:16.000 You know, just touring.

01:54:17.000 And it's going to happen.

01:54:19.000 You can 100% do that.

01:54:20.000 Yeah, it will.

01:54:20.000 The acting thing is fine if you love acting.

01:54:23.000 Like, I was watching this show last night that I'm addicted to, The Outsider, this HBO show.

01:54:28.000 I've heard of it.

01:54:29.000 I haven't seen it.

01:54:30.000 Woo, it's good.

01:54:30.000 When there's this one guy who plays the lead detective, he's such a good actor.

01:54:34.000 He's so good.

01:54:35.000 He's so good that it makes you want to act. 0.96

01:54:37.000 It makes you like, oh god damn, that would be like... 0.87

01:54:40.000 Acting with someone like that where you it's a real craft like there's a fucking dance that he's doing with those people He's acting with I really enjoy watching that and I'm like maybe maybe I could do something like that Maybe I would be interested in doing something like that because like there's not like The prejudice that I have about actors is because of the worst ones that I've worked with, 0.98

01:55:01.000 or the worst ones that I've met, or the worst ones that I've known, that are just really annoying and self-obsessed. 0.97

01:55:08.000 They're doing nonsense. 0.97

01:55:10.000 They're like terrible comedians, but they don't have punchlines. 0.98

01:55:13.000 You know, terrible comedians are all about themselves and they just dominate every conversation talking about themselves and what they're doing and what they want to do and how they're not getting booked anywhere and it's because these people don't like them because they're fucking jealous because of this and that. 0.97

01:55:27.000 Dude. 0.86

01:55:27.000 You know those people, right? 0.86

01:55:29.000 You know those people.

01:55:29.000 Alright, bye.

01:55:31.000 You gotta just keep moving with those people.

01:55:32.000 They'll stick to you like glue. 0.79

01:55:34.000 They're like leeches. 0.77

01:55:34.000 They just start sucking blood out of you. 0.77

01:55:36.000 Well, because they're always blaming other people for their downfall.

01:55:39.000 Yes.

01:55:40.000 It's like, well, you know, I'm not getting it because this person got it or I don't understand why this person is doing it because I was here way before them and I was like, well, that's a problem.

01:55:49.000 Yeah.

01:55:49.000 You had an opportunity.

01:55:51.000 Yeah, that's a problem. 0.96

01:55:52.000 You fuck something up and you don't want to listen. 0.86

01:55:54.000 You don't want to listen. 0.99

01:55:55.000 And some of them are good at taking advice, but most of them are bad.

01:55:58.000 Most of them, when you tell them, this is what you're doing wrong, they just go, yeah, that's not right.

01:56:05.000 Yeah.

01:56:05.000 Most people don't want to hear their own issues, you know?

01:56:08.000 Because they haven't been saying it to themselves. 0.99

01:56:10.000 Like, there's not a fucking person on this planet that'll criticize me harder than I criticize myself. 0.99

01:56:16.000 Dude, I'm the same way. 1.00

01:56:18.000 I'll get up in the middle of the night to take a piss and I'll be like, you fucking loser. 1.00

01:56:21.000 Like, get your shit together. 1.00

01:56:22.000 Like, I know I've done a lot of crazy shit. 1.00

01:56:24.000 I know my life has been pretty extraordinary in terms of, like, amount of success that I've had. 0.98

01:56:28.000 I fucking, I'm still never happy. 0.96

01:56:32.000 Never happy with anything. 0.99

01:56:34.000 Anything I've done.

01:56:35.000 Anything.

01:56:36.000 Well, you always can get better.

01:56:37.000 Always.

01:56:37.000 That's why.

01:56:38.000 Always.

01:56:38.000 And the people that, like, I don't understand, and I hope nobody takes this wrong way, but I don't understand how you could be in something, I don't care if it's comedy or working wherever, and you haven't shown progress, how do you stay in it?

01:56:52.000 How do you stay in it?

01:56:55.000 You're just floating by.

01:56:57.000 Yeah, how are you not getting better?

01:56:58.000 They're not!

01:56:59.000 Yeah, but there's a lot of people like that, man.

01:57:01.000 There's people like that in everything.

01:57:03.000 I remember that in pool.

01:57:05.000 There was people that never developed the proper technique.

01:57:09.000 And I would watch them play.

01:57:11.000 I mean, years and years and years. 0.99

01:57:13.000 When I started, I sucked in the beginning. 0.98

01:57:16.000 And then there was people that also sucked with me. 0.98

01:57:19.000 Now, years later, I became a good player. 0.92

01:57:23.000 And those people stayed the same. 1.00

01:57:25.000 They still fucking suck. 1.00

01:57:26.000 They didn't put in the work. 1.00

01:57:27.000 Yeah, so when I would want to play with them, they didn't want to play.

01:57:30.000 I'm like, why don't you want to play?

01:57:31.000 They're like, you're too good. 1.00

01:57:32.000 I'm like, what do you mean I'm too good, bitch? 1.00

01:57:34.000 I started out after you. 0.99

01:57:35.000 Like, how come you're not any better?

01:57:37.000 Like, what's going on here?

01:57:38.000 Well, what's going on is they didn't really concentrate on evaluating what they're doing and looking at it from like a technical perspective, looking at it like your mechanics or your mechanics off, like the way your son hit that golf ball.

01:57:50.000 He is already on this crazy path where he understands physical mechanics.

01:57:56.000 Some people never get it.

01:57:59.000 I'm sure, I don't follow golf, but I'm sure if you went to a public golf course, there's guys right now that are 50 years old that can't hit a ball that good.

01:58:06.000 They've probably been playing their whole life.

01:58:07.000 They don't do it right.

01:58:09.000 Some people just don't learn.

01:58:12.000 I'm a fail fast person.

01:58:15.000 If I'm not good at something, I don't stay in it.

01:58:18.000 That's me.

01:58:19.000 I fail fast.

01:58:20.000 How is that possible?

01:58:21.000 Because you learned and got way better at stand-up.

01:58:24.000 Well, yeah, but I did okay my first couple times.

01:58:29.000 I was going to give myself three times.

01:58:30.000 I said, if I go up three times...

01:58:33.000 I did.

01:58:34.000 That was what I said.

01:58:34.000 Because I'm from that mentality.

01:58:36.000 Fail fast.

01:58:37.000 You know, because I don't invest time in something I don't think that's going to move forward for me.

01:58:41.000 You know what I mean?

01:58:42.000 So, first time I did stand-up was the Miami Improv.

01:58:45.000 It went well.

01:58:46.000 Second night, I opened up for the Waynes Brothers.

01:58:49.000 Right.

01:58:49.000 Well, you were at first night, you were already a radio personality.

01:58:52.000 Yeah, in Miami.

01:58:52.000 So I was home team.

01:58:54.000 And then Wayne's Brothers, they were in West Palm Beach.

01:58:57.000 Home team, kind of.

01:58:59.000 But after the first time I got off stage, I called my mom and I was like, this is what I was born to.

01:59:03.000 I love it so much.

01:59:04.000 I'm at home.

01:59:05.000 I'll just be staring off in the distance.

01:59:07.000 And my wife will walk by and go, comedy?

01:59:09.000 Like she knows.

01:59:11.000 Because she's talking to me, I'm not hearing it.

01:59:13.000 And that's how much I love it so much because it's the only true art where it's just you and the crowd.

01:59:22.000 And what I love about it is the stage is not prejudiced.

01:59:26.000 It may be political getting on that stage, but once you're up there, it doesn't matter.

01:59:31.000 If you're funny, you're funny.

01:59:33.000 And that's why I love it because we're in an industry where what I do, you get a lot of no's, man.

01:59:40.000 No, no, no, you can't do it.

01:59:42.000 But to have an outlet that same night to go up and get 300 yeses, it just keeps you in the game.

01:59:48.000 You don't need someone to approve whether or not you get to work.

01:59:52.000 Yes.

01:59:53.000 Yeah.

01:59:53.000 Like, you don't have to get picked out of a lineup of people that are trying to play the part of Bob.

01:59:59.000 Like, are you reading for Bob?

02:00:00.000 Come on in here.

02:00:01.000 I'm Michael, so I see you're a comedian, and you were on the first season of Fear Factor.

02:00:07.000 Congratulations.

02:00:08.000 Thank you.

02:00:09.000 That's my credits.

02:00:09.000 Thank you so much.

02:00:10.000 You were in Justin and Kelly and Fear Factor.

02:00:13.000 Yeah, that's my two credits right there.

02:00:15.000 Come on in then.

02:00:16.000 Okay, you're reading for the part of Bob. 0.99

02:00:18.000 Remember, Bob is gay. 0.94

02:00:20.000 Did you know? 0.96

02:00:22.000 Yes, of course I did.

02:00:23.000 We're not playing it like that.

02:00:25.000 Yes.

02:00:26.000 Think Mayor Pete.

02:00:27.000 Mayor Pete.

02:00:28.000 Okay, don't think like the next door neighbor on Three's Company.

02:00:32.000 Well, you gotta give me some direction.

02:00:34.000 I mean, come on.

02:00:34.000 Who was a famous gay character in a sitcom?

02:00:38.000 Oh, Will and Grace, right?

02:00:39.000 Oh, Jack.

02:00:40.000 Just Jack.

02:00:41.000 Yeah.

02:00:41.000 So I did it right.

02:00:43.000 If that's your example.

02:00:44.000 If you're gonna do it like that.

02:00:45.000 Well, if I'm going off, you're the casting director, I'm going off your cue.

02:00:48.000 So if you say- They tell you how to do it, don't they want to see you, like, what your take on it is?

02:00:53.000 Yeah.

02:00:54.000 Yeah.

02:00:55.000 But no, they give a description.

02:00:56.000 Okay.

02:00:57.000 So by your description, Will and Grace, I did it right.

02:01:00.000 Yes.

02:01:00.000 So nobody can get mad.

02:01:01.000 Okay.

02:01:02.000 Bob has PTSD. Okay.

02:01:05.000 Yeah.

02:01:06.000 He's ready to rock and he's drunk.

02:01:08.000 Ready, go. 1.00

02:01:13.000 Fucking acting. 1.00

02:01:15.000 But, I mean, you're way past this level. 0.99

02:01:18.000 But you've got to admit, I mean, comedy, when you're up and coming, is like that, too.

02:01:22.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

02:01:23.000 You're trying to get stage time on these places.

02:01:25.000 So you're really on auditions all the time, too.

02:01:29.000 Yeah, in a way.

02:01:30.000 And you're also trying to find your voice on stage, like how you do it.

02:01:33.000 You're not totally sure, is this the right way?

02:01:37.000 Is that the right way?

02:01:38.000 How should I be going on?

02:01:39.000 But that's also why it's so exciting.

02:01:41.000 No, that's what I love it.

02:01:42.000 I love it.

02:01:43.000 And there's also one of the things that's so exciting about stand-up is there's really no one way to do it.

02:01:48.000 You know, like if you play golf, kind of one way to do it, right?

02:01:53.000 You learn how to do it correctly.

02:01:55.000 I mean, there's variations.

02:01:57.000 Same thing with pool.

02:01:59.000 Same thing even, well, not jujitsu.

02:02:01.000 Jujitsu is pretty eclectic.

02:02:03.000 There's a lot of different influences, a lot of different styles.

02:02:05.000 But with comedy, man, you could be Stephen Wright or you could be Chris Rock.

02:02:10.000 There's just a lot of difference.

02:02:11.000 And that's what's so great about it.

02:02:12.000 It's the best.

02:02:13.000 It's the best.

02:02:14.000 Like at the Comedy Store when all these different...

02:02:16.000 What I love about the Comedy Store and what I don't like about LA people is they debate about spending $30 on a lineup where the rest of the country is spending $50 to $100 for that one comic.

02:02:31.000 That's how the people in LA are so just not thankful.

02:02:38.000 Yeah, but isn't that normal?

02:02:40.000 There's so much to do here.

02:02:42.000 Yeah, but there's so much to do here.

02:02:43.000 No, they take it for granted, man.

02:02:44.000 They take it for granted.

02:02:45.000 I mean, when you have these kids...

02:02:47.000 Look, I just did Salt Lake City and Wise Guys.

02:02:50.000 I love Salt Lake City.

02:02:51.000 That's a great club.

02:02:52.000 Oh my God.

02:02:53.000 Dude, big shout out to Keith.

02:02:54.000 They have two there, right?

02:02:55.000 Yeah, they have two.

02:02:56.000 Yeah.

02:02:56.000 I did one.

02:02:57.000 It was my first time there.

02:02:58.000 I did a while ago, but it was my first time really there.

02:03:02.000 And man, those people appreciate every joke.

02:03:06.000 They appreciate the experience where a lot of times, I'll see, to me, a comic crushing up there.

02:03:12.000 And people on their phones, people just...

02:03:16.000 I don't know.

02:03:17.000 You can't worry about that.

02:03:18.000 I know, but I'm not on stage.

02:03:20.000 I just, they're disrespecting.

02:03:22.000 I get mad when people disrespect the craft.

02:03:24.000 Like, I'm so in it like that.

02:03:26.000 It's like, you should be paying attention.

02:03:28.000 I get angry at people.

02:03:29.000 Yeah, you can't concentrate on them, though.

02:03:31.000 You just gotta do it yourself.

02:03:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:03:33.000 It's like your dumb friend who yells at the crowd. 1.00

02:03:35.000 Yeah, I don't know. 1.00

02:03:36.000 Same shit. 1.00

02:03:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:03:37.000 Don't worry about that. 1.00

02:03:38.000 But I'm in the back watching.

02:03:39.000 So I'm like, dude, you need to be watching.

02:03:41.000 Yeah.

02:03:42.000 Well, you're definitely going to get a lot of self-absorbed people in this crowd.

02:03:44.000 You get a lot of...

02:03:46.000 I find that more at the improv.

02:03:48.000 Not necessarily these days, because most of the times I'm at the improv, it's my show.

02:03:51.000 Yeah.

02:03:52.000 But I feel like that's a more Hollywood crowd in some weird way.

02:03:57.000 You know, one of the things that's the Comedy Store, it's really shocking how many people come from not just out of state, but out of the country to come to those lineups.

02:04:06.000 Like, I run into people all the time.

02:04:08.000 They're like, yeah, we're doing comedy tourism.

02:04:10.000 We flew in from Scotland.

02:04:11.000 I'm like, what?

02:04:12.000 You guys flew in from Scotland? 1.00

02:04:14.000 Yeah, you motherfuckers won't come out there. 1.00

02:04:16.000 So we came to you. 1.00

02:04:17.000 I was like, wow, that's crazy.

02:04:19.000 But I feel like...

02:04:21.000 Right now, comedians that are really killing it, they're rock stars, dude.

02:04:26.000 Like, rock stars.

02:04:27.000 I just saw Joe Coy sell out two shows at the Forum, and I was there, and when he walked out, it could have been Bruno Mars, it could have been, like, same applause, same everything.

02:04:37.000 And that's what I love, is that This industry right now is on fire, but the people leading it to...

02:04:46.000 I've only been in it nine years, but they're giving.

02:04:50.000 That's new. 0.99

02:04:52.000 Nine years ago when I started, it was all about people backstabbing and talking shit about people. 0.98

02:04:57.000 Now I think podcasting has changed again. 0.87

02:04:59.000 Now people are having, I don't want to call them cliques, but you got your people.

02:05:03.000 And those people that are in that clique, they help other people.

02:05:07.000 And I think it's that thing where...

02:05:10.000 With you, with Tom, with Bert, with even D'Elia, Theo Vaughn.

02:05:15.000 It's almost Brendan Schaub and Brian Callen.

02:05:18.000 I think it's a thing where people are like, oh, everybody can be successful.

02:05:23.000 It's not just one person that has to be successful.

02:05:26.000 A lot of people can be successful.

02:05:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:05:28.000 There's 350 million people in this fucking country. 1.00

02:05:32.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

02:05:32.000 You want all of them, bitch? 1.00

02:05:34.000 They're all for you? 1.00

02:05:35.000 You greedy asshole. 1.00

02:05:38.000 That's what I'm saying! 1.00

02:05:39.000 Well, it's also, too, there's a brotherhood and a sisterhood amongst us and our friends that you are dealing with a very small number of people that are professionals at this on earth.

02:05:52.000 Like, when you go to the comedy store, if I run into Anthony Jeselnik and I give him a hug, It's not just he's my friend.

02:05:59.000 It's also he's one of maybe a thousand people like him on earth.

02:06:04.000 Yeah.

02:06:05.000 Maybe.

02:06:05.000 It's true.

02:06:06.000 Maybe.

02:06:07.000 It might not even be a thousand.

02:06:08.000 It might be 500. Like legit, world-class headliners that can sell out of theater.

02:06:13.000 How many of those?

02:06:14.000 No, I would say less than a thousand.

02:06:16.000 Yeah, I mean, but it's not even just sell out of theater.

02:06:18.000 I mean, there's a lot of people that can't, like my friend Owen Smith, who I think is one of the best stand-up comics on earth.

02:06:23.000 He's so good.

02:06:24.000 He's so good.

02:06:25.000 I tell everybody, I'm like, that guy, he just spent too much time writing.

02:06:30.000 On sitcoms and on movies and people just didn't know.

02:06:33.000 But when you go see him, he's working with me tomorrow night at the improv for the second show. 0.99

02:06:37.000 He's a murderer, man.

02:06:38.000 He's as good as any comic alive. 0.99

02:06:41.000 He's as good as any comic alive.

02:06:42.000 He's one of the best on earth.

02:06:44.000 What do you think it is, because you've reached the peak and continue to grow, but what do you think that when you're a comic and all of a sudden you just pop up?

02:06:55.000 People find out.

02:06:56.000 I think today it's the internet.

02:06:58.000 Today it's the internet.

02:06:59.000 Like a YouTube video can make you.

02:07:01.000 One YouTube video, like Angela Johnson, that nail bit, that bit made her. 1.00

02:07:05.000 Her whole career.

02:07:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:07:06.000 Yeah, Russell Peters.

02:07:07.000 He got famous off of YouTube clips, people seeing his YouTube clips.

02:07:12.000 And a lot like Joe Coy, also it's like, hey, our people are represented.

02:07:16.000 Right. 0.98

02:07:17.000 Because for a long time, who the fuck was Indian that was a famous comic? 0.99

02:07:21.000 Nobody. 1.00

02:07:22.000 Russell comes along, hilarious, Indian, and making fun of all races and people are like, holy shit! 1.00

02:07:30.000 It starts with that and then what I love about Joe, it started with Filipinos and now everybody's enjoying it. 1.00

02:07:36.000 And I think, like, when I watched Joe's Journey, it was like, he was already in full stride of, like, killing it in stand-up.

02:07:44.000 Then he got on Chelsea.

02:07:45.000 Didn't work with Adam Carolla.

02:07:46.000 So everything kind of exposure, like you said.

02:07:50.000 Today, it's kind of like American Idol.

02:07:52.000 There's a lot of Kelly Clarkson's, but Kelly Clarkson won the first season of American Idol.

02:07:56.000 Carrie Underwood won whatever season.

02:07:58.000 So these are great singers.

02:08:00.000 You just need exposure.

02:08:02.000 Exposure is everything.

02:08:03.000 Podcasts.

02:08:04.000 The beautiful thing about podcasts is, first of all, comics, unlike in the past, say if you were the host of The Tonight Show, and you were Jay Leno, and then David Letterman was the host of his show, you guys were in competition. 0.96

02:08:18.000 That shit's on the same time. 1.00

02:08:20.000 Fuck him, fuck you. 1.00

02:08:21.000 Everyone's backstabbing. 1.00

02:08:23.000 These have deals.

02:08:24.000 If you would go on one of those shows, you couldn't go on the other show.

02:08:28.000 I still like that, I think.

02:08:30.000 Or maybe it's not as hardcore, but yeah. 1.00

02:08:33.000 That's so dumb. 1.00

02:08:34.000 It's so dumb. 0.99

02:08:35.000 But they had to do that back then because there was only one host of The Tonight Show and there was only one host of this show and one host of that show. 0.97

02:08:41.000 I mean, all told, out of all the people on television that did late night talk shows, there might have been six.

02:08:47.000 Six people.

02:08:49.000 And how many comics were there?

02:08:50.000 Thousands!

02:08:52.000 Hoping Jay Leno had a heart attack so they could take that spot.

02:08:55.000 Hoping Conan O'Brien would drop dead. 0.82

02:08:58.000 Hoping. 0.57

02:08:59.000 Right?

02:08:59.000 Now it's not like that anymore.

02:09:01.000 Now everyone can have a podcast and everybody does...

02:09:04.000 Each other's podcasts.

02:09:06.000 And everybody tells everybody, hey, go see Michael Yeo.

02:09:09.000 Hey, Joe Coy's hilarious.

02:09:11.000 Hey, I saw Chris Delia on that murder.

02:09:14.000 I saw Anthony Jeselnik crush it in the main room.

02:09:18.000 And people love it.

02:09:20.000 They're happy that other people are successful.

02:09:23.000 It's a good feeling.

02:09:24.000 So you see that, too.

02:09:26.000 That's only happened in the last three or four years.

02:09:28.000 I think it's about five.

02:09:30.000 Five years?

02:09:30.000 I think it's about five years, yeah.

02:09:32.000 I think it's all a part of this.

02:09:35.000 It might be even a little more than five years.

02:09:36.000 But the point is, it's all part of this transition to the internet.

02:09:41.000 Because the transition to the internet is a transition of opulence.

02:09:46.000 We're all blessed.

02:09:48.000 There's abundance.

02:09:49.000 There's no scarcity.

02:09:51.000 There used to be scarcity.

02:09:53.000 Before, it was like, oh, there's only a few spots.

02:09:55.000 If you want to get a sitcom, you and I show up in the audition room, and I'm looking at you, and you're looking at me, and I'm like, you playing for Bob?

02:10:00.000 Yeah.

02:10:00.000 You going to play a gay?

02:10:01.000 Are you going to play it? 0.94

02:10:03.000 PTSD? How are you going to play this?

02:10:05.000 Yeah.

02:10:05.000 Oh, good luck with that choice.

02:10:06.000 You know, backstab each other and get weird. 0.99

02:10:09.000 There was a lot of backstabby weird shit in those days. 0.88

02:10:11.000 And that stuff's gone. 0.98

02:10:13.000 You know, everybody's happy to see each other.

02:10:15.000 And also, they support each other on the road.

02:10:17.000 They take each other places.

02:10:19.000 Like, they do shows together.

02:10:20.000 And one of the things that I realized early on, You know, you make less money if you take people on the road with you, and you pay for their flight, and you pay for their hotel, and you pay for their meals.

02:10:29.000 But you have so much fun.

02:10:30.000 But you have way more fun!

02:10:31.000 It's way more fun, man.

02:10:33.000 It's way more fun.

02:10:33.000 It goes from being depressing.

02:10:35.000 Like, I've done the road by myself, and you're sitting in a hotel room, staring at the fucking TV, bored, you go to the gym. 0.98

02:10:41.000 Counting down the time to the show. 1.00

02:10:43.000 And then you're working with some dick shit. 1.00

02:10:45.000 Some ass fuck from fucking Pittsburgh that sucks. 1.00

02:10:49.000 And he's like, God, this local guy's terrible. 1.00

02:10:51.000 And you call your friends, bro, where are you?

02:10:53.000 You know, I'm in Baltimore.

02:10:54.000 Is it any good?

02:10:55.000 No.

02:10:55.000 I wish we were doing a show together.

02:10:58.000 And then...

02:11:00.000 And I realized somewhere along the line that for my own mental sanity, I'd rather take a pay cut and just take guys on the road with me.

02:11:07.000 So I started doing that.

02:11:08.000 I was doing that early on.

02:11:10.000 I was doing that in the early 2000s.

02:11:13.000 I was taking people on the road with me.

02:11:14.000 It was a problem sometimes.

02:11:17.000 Club owners were like, we would like to book the opening acts.

02:11:19.000 I'm like, uh-uh.

02:11:20.000 Yeah.

02:11:20.000 Like, we want to use our local guys.

02:11:22.000 I'm like, I don't know them.

02:11:23.000 And then a lot of those guys step on your material, too.

02:11:26.000 Like, say if you have a bit about your dad, they'll do a bit that's real similar about their dad.

02:11:31.000 You're like, hmm.

02:11:32.000 Well, it's a thing where ever since I started, like once I started headlining, I've always brought my own people.

02:11:37.000 And yeah, it is a bit...

02:11:38.000 And I don't make close to the money you make, but it's a thing where I know the investment.

02:11:43.000 It makes me a lot better on stage because I know the whole show from start to end is going to be good.

02:11:48.000 Oh, yeah.

02:11:49.000 I've had horrible experiences.

02:11:52.000 I remember one time one of my friends couldn't come.

02:11:55.000 And man, a host is just...

02:11:58.000 I mean, literally 20 minutes of silence.

02:12:00.000 And then it's like, all right, here's your headline.

02:12:04.000 The audience is angry by the time you go up.

02:12:06.000 They've wasted their money.

02:12:07.000 I think also, just being around the comics at the Laugh Factory Improv and Comedy Store, it's a thing where now people, before it's like, oh, if somebody crushes, I don't want them to crush them.

02:12:19.000 Now people love to go, they want to be a part of a great show, not be the only funny one at the show.

02:12:27.000 That's so insecure, that not wanting anybody to be good.

02:12:30.000 Here's the thing, just, didn't you get into comedy because you like it?

02:12:33.000 Yeah.

02:12:34.000 So bring people that are funny.

02:12:35.000 Dude, I brought Joey Diaz with me from the start.

02:12:37.000 I know.

02:12:38.000 And I had some rough shows early on where I was like, dude, I gotta get better.

02:12:42.000 Because Joey would be up there murdering, and then I'd go up after him, not doing so good.

02:12:46.000 But it made me realize I had to step it up.

02:12:49.000 Yeah.

02:12:49.000 But it's also like, I wanted to laugh.

02:12:51.000 I want to have fun.

02:12:53.000 Not only did I bring Joey in the row with me, but this was during Joey's drug days.

02:12:58.000 I brought a second opening act in case Joey didn't show up.

02:13:01.000 Because Joey did, instead of not booking Joey, I started booking Ari. 1.00

02:13:06.000 So I booked Ari and Joey.

02:13:08.000 So if Joey showed up, great, we got a three-man show.

02:13:11.000 If Joey didn't show up, we got a two-man show.

02:13:13.000 But I always had an opening act that way.

02:13:15.000 Wow.

02:13:16.000 Did he ever not show up?

02:13:17.000 A couple times.

02:13:18.000 Okay.

02:13:18.000 Not that many, but it was always touch and go.

02:13:20.000 You never knew.

02:13:21.000 And sometimes you just leave on Sunday.

02:13:22.000 I told you I'm leaving on Sunday.

02:13:23.000 I'm like, you didn't tell me you're leaving on Sunday. 0.99

02:13:26.000 I don't do Sunday stuff, sucker. 0.99

02:13:28.000 Okay, okay. 0.98

02:13:30.000 I mean, but can you say the nicest human being on earth?

02:13:33.000 I love him to death.

02:13:34.000 He's my brother.

02:13:35.000 Every time I see him, man, it's like, he's just so nice.

02:13:38.000 I love him.

02:13:39.000 I love him so much.

02:13:40.000 And I love him, and I've seen him on his full journey. 0.99

02:13:44.000 You know, I've seen him from being this guy who's, like, fresh out of jail, was a fucking criminal when I first met him. 0.99

02:13:49.000 I could tell. 0.98

02:13:50.000 But I knew so many guys like that from the pool hall and from fight gyms.

02:13:54.000 And I was like, oh, look at this real guy hanging around the comedy store.

02:13:56.000 I'm like, what's up, man?

02:13:57.000 And Joey and I... We hit it off like that, like immediately.

02:14:01.000 Like immediately.

02:14:02.000 And then to see him transform to being one of the best comics on Earth, it's so satisfying.

02:14:07.000 To see him go and sell out the Chicago Theater.

02:14:10.000 Chicago Theater's 3,700 people.

02:14:11.000 He sold it out like instantly. 1.00

02:14:13.000 He's a murderer. 0.98

02:14:14.000 He's so good. 1.00

02:14:15.000 He's so good.

02:14:16.000 No one on Earth makes me laugh harder.

02:14:18.000 There's a lot of great comics out there, but Joey's special.

02:14:22.000 To me, he's special.

02:14:23.000 And the thing is, nobody can duplicate what he does.

02:14:27.000 You can't touch it.

02:14:29.000 Not at all.

02:14:30.000 Not at all.

02:14:31.000 No, it's amazing.

02:14:32.000 But, you know, it's also, he's a product of the comedy store.

02:14:36.000 Like a real product of the comedy store.

02:14:38.000 The freedom to take chances and to be loose and wild, that's where all that stuff's from.

02:14:43.000 When you first met him, was he like that, like, on stage?

02:14:48.000 No, he had to learn how to be that way on stage.

02:14:50.000 Off stage, he was hilarious, though.

02:14:52.000 He would hold court in the back, like, in the back parking lot.

02:14:55.000 We'd all be hanging out back there, and Joey Diaz would just be telling us stories.

02:14:57.000 We'd be falling down laughing.

02:14:59.000 And he would be good on stage.

02:15:00.000 He would do well, but he would tighten up.

02:15:02.000 He would worry about being cast in a movie.

02:15:04.000 You know, that was always the thing.

02:15:06.000 Like, he wanted to be in a movie or a show or...

02:15:09.000 And that kind of pressure of worrying about people, what people care, that's constricting. 0.99

02:15:14.000 And then somewhere along the line, he just stopped giving a fuck. 1.00

02:15:17.000 He just stopped giving a fuck. 1.00

02:15:19.000 And when he stopped giving a fuck, he would just go up there and destroy. 1.00

02:15:21.000 And it was a quick transition. 0.99

02:15:23.000 It was like he went from being kind of good, doing okay, but really funny offstage, to figuring it out. 0.99

02:15:29.000 And if you ask him, he just stopped giving a fuck. 1.00

02:15:32.000 He just realized, he goes, I realize all these motherfuckers aren't going to help me. 1.00

02:15:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:15:35.000 Like, they're not gonna help me. 0.99

02:15:36.000 Fuck them. 1.00

02:15:37.000 They're all idiots. 1.00

02:15:37.000 And they'd come and go. 1.00

02:15:38.000 The agents would get fired. 0.99

02:15:39.000 And he realized, like, what was I fucking thinking? 0.98

02:15:42.000 And he figured it out. 0.98

02:15:43.000 How long did it take you to get to that point?

02:15:45.000 Because I know you were in the acting world, but when did you get to that point?

02:15:49.000 Well, I started doing stand-up first.

02:15:51.000 I did stand-up in 88, and I never planned on acting.

02:15:54.000 I got into acting just because of stand-up.

02:15:56.000 I did a MTV half-hour comedy hour, and from there, I wound up getting a development deal, and I wound up being on a sitcom.

02:16:02.000 And I didn't really like it.

02:16:03.000 And I was ready to quit, but I had already gotten a lease.

02:16:06.000 So I was out here, and I already had an apartment.

02:16:08.000 I was ready to go back to New York, like 100%.

02:16:11.000 What didn't you like about it?

02:16:12.000 I didn't like the actors.

02:16:13.000 Oh, okay, the actors on it.

02:16:15.000 No, the actors on the show, some of them I was friends with.

02:16:17.000 I enjoyed their company, but there was a bunch of ones that I met that I did not like.

02:16:21.000 I didn't enjoy the circles.

02:16:23.000 I'd go out with actors, rather.

02:16:25.000 I'd go out to dinner with them, and they'd bring their friends. 1.00

02:16:27.000 I'd be like, who's this fucking liar? 1.00

02:16:28.000 You're bringing this crazy, egomaniac, narcissist liar to sit here and have dinner with these people. 1.00

02:16:35.000 So many of them are so crazy. 1.00

02:16:37.000 And again, this is low-level people trying to get into acting. 0.95

02:16:41.000 Like open micers, right?

02:16:43.000 If you go to open mics, you'll see the occasional jam, like, wow, that guy's probably going to make it. 1.00

02:16:47.000 And then you'll see, oh, this person's fucking crazy. 1.00

02:16:49.000 They're just hanging around this industry. 1.00

02:16:51.000 And you got that with acting, too.

02:16:53.000 And I just, I didn't like it.

02:16:55.000 I also didn't like the whole thing of needing people.

02:16:59.000 The auditioning thing that you would get in LA would develop a type of person that was just very guarded and fake.

02:17:07.000 They were trying to project what they wanted you to see rather than be who they were.

02:17:13.000 I enjoyed New York.

02:17:14.000 I enjoyed Boston.

02:17:15.000 I enjoyed the East Coast.

02:17:16.000 Those were my people.

02:17:18.000 So I didn't like it.

02:17:19.000 But I had a lease, so I stayed.

02:17:22.000 And so then I got on this news radio show, and I was on that for five years. 0.99

02:17:25.000 And then after that was over, I was like, okay, I'm done with this acting shit. 0.99

02:17:28.000 Okay. 0.97

02:17:29.000 So would you say, is that the time where you were like, oh...

02:17:31.000 I tried a little bit after that.

02:17:32.000 I did a little bit of it.

02:17:33.000 I did some auditions, and I got a couple of development deals to do my own show, but they were terrible.

02:17:38.000 And then Fear Factor came along, and I was like, oh, this makes sense.

02:17:42.000 I'll do this.

02:17:43.000 Did you like it the whole time or no?

02:17:44.000 No!

02:17:45.000 Oh, pfft.

02:17:45.000 No, but it was money.

02:17:47.000 It was money.

02:17:48.000 It was crazy money.

02:17:48.000 And it was also...

02:17:49.000 And it was the biggest show in the U.S. at that time, too.

02:17:52.000 At one point in time, it was.

02:17:54.000 Yeah.

02:17:54.000 And we did 148 episodes.

02:17:56.000 It was so many episodes.

02:17:57.000 And then we came back and did six more.

02:17:59.000 It was a good way to make money and not need Hollywood anymore.

02:18:05.000 And that's when I really realized I don't want to act anymore.

02:18:09.000 The only thing I acted at all after that was my friend Kevin James' movies.

02:18:14.000 Just because he asked me to and we're buddies.

02:18:16.000 I did Zookeeper and Here Comes the Boom.

02:18:18.000 But I only did them for fun because I was his friend.

02:18:22.000 And then podcasting.

02:18:24.000 When podcasting came along, then I was like, in the beginning it was just fun.

02:18:29.000 Like, I didn't realize what was even going on until many years in.

02:18:33.000 I was at the Chicago Theater, the same place I was talking about where Joey sold out.

02:18:37.000 And I was going to bring something up, and I go, so this happened.

02:18:42.000 How many of you guys listen to the podcast?

02:18:44.000 And it went, yeah!

02:18:46.000 And I was like...

02:18:48.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:18:49.000 Like, I did not expect that.

02:18:51.000 I don't pay attention to the numbers, so I didn't know how many people were downloading it.

02:18:57.000 How many years in was this other podcast?

02:18:59.000 Three or four?

02:19:00.000 Four.

02:19:01.000 Four, okay.

02:19:02.000 Yeah, maybe four.

02:19:02.000 So six years ago.

02:19:04.000 And I was like, holy shit. 1.00

02:19:06.000 Because for those years in the beginning, it was nonsense. 1.00

02:19:10.000 First of all, we'd get barbecued out of our fucking minds, where half the time I didn't know what I was saying while I was saying it. 0.99

02:19:17.000 It was a real problem. 0.99

02:19:19.000 You know, we didn't take it seriously.

02:19:21.000 Didn't think people were listening. 0.99

02:19:22.000 It was a fun, silly way to get really fucked up and talk with friends. 0.96

02:19:27.000 And no one was thinking it was like comedy in the early days. 0.98

02:19:31.000 Yeah.

02:19:31.000 No one was thinking this is a career.

02:19:33.000 It's almost like in a green room.

02:19:34.000 You're just talking.

02:19:35.000 It was just fun.

02:19:35.000 Yeah.

02:19:36.000 I enjoy people.

02:19:37.000 I do.

02:19:38.000 I enjoy talking to people.

02:19:39.000 I like hearing how people think.

02:19:41.000 I like hearing people's perspectives.

02:19:43.000 And so in the beginning, it was like a lot of that.

02:19:45.000 Just hanging out.

02:19:46.000 And making each other laugh. 1.00

02:19:47.000 And talking shit. 1.00

02:19:48.000 And saying silly things. 1.00

02:19:50.000 And then that one day, I'll never forget.

02:19:53.000 How many people listen to the podcast?

02:19:54.000 And that roar.

02:19:55.000 And I got nervous.

02:19:57.000 I was like, oh no.

02:19:58.000 Like, what is this?

02:20:00.000 Like, what's happening here?

02:20:01.000 Like, then I started to think, like...

02:20:03.000 Oh, this is like a major part of my life.

02:20:06.000 A major part of my career.

02:20:07.000 And I wasn't even realizing it was.

02:20:09.000 So this is like four years in.

02:20:11.000 Wow.

02:20:12.000 Yeah.

02:20:12.000 And then I started getting guests.

02:20:14.000 That's when I started getting guests on.

02:20:16.000 Like somewhere around four years in, I started getting guests.

02:20:19.000 And then like all these different people would come on.

02:20:22.000 But then I'd ask people to be on it.

02:20:24.000 And then people had heard about it.

02:20:25.000 And some people were still like, what is a podcast?

02:20:28.000 Like, what are you doing?

02:20:28.000 Yeah.

02:20:29.000 Like a radio show on the internet.

02:20:30.000 Like, who's listening?

02:20:31.000 Like, oh, well.

02:20:32.000 Not that many people.

02:20:34.000 And then it just became what it is now.

02:20:37.000 But it became what it is now almost like it had a mind of its own, man.

02:20:40.000 And I really think that sometimes.

02:20:41.000 I really think that. 0.99

02:20:43.000 And I know that sounds really stupid. 0.99

02:20:45.000 Because for sure I keep showing up. 0.99

02:20:47.000 For sure I pay attention.

02:20:48.000 For sure I try hard.

02:20:49.000 And for sure I work at it.

02:20:50.000 But I think this thing is like it wanted to be made.

02:20:55.000 It sounds crazy.

02:20:56.000 No, I get you.

02:20:57.000 I get you.

02:20:58.000 It needed it.

02:21:00.000 I don't even know if it needed it.

02:21:01.000 It's like there was a place.

02:21:02.000 There was a spot that was open.

02:21:04.000 And that spot was open for like...

02:21:07.000 Honest conversation, open-minded conversation, and inquisitive conversation, and letting people explain things over long periods of time.

02:21:15.000 And then some of those people, just like Brian Greene, who was a physicist who I had on the other day.

02:21:21.000 I have to listen to his podcast two or three times just to try to really grasp what he was saying.

02:21:25.000 That happens all the time.

02:21:27.000 I talk to brilliant people.

02:21:28.000 You know, Aubrey de Grey was on yesterday, who's an expert in anti-aging technologies.

02:21:34.000 So we're talking about all this stuff and I'm just thinking like here I am talking this guy who spends his entire life trying to extend people's lifespan to 500 plus years and he's in the middle of this right now and he's running this institute in Northern California that's designed or does designing all these different specific methods of extending life and they're experimenting and doing all these different things and raising money and I'm like,

02:22:00.000 this is such a weird path I've gotten on.

02:22:02.000 But does he really think he can do it?

02:22:04.000 Oh yeah, he can do it.

02:22:05.000 500 years?

02:22:06.000 Yeah, they're on the road to that.

02:22:08.000 Yeah, with stem cells and a bunch of the different biologics that they're experimenting with and all sorts of different, and as the technology increases and grows, and then CRISPR, which is a gene editing tool, and a lot of the other things that they're probably going to invent over the next three to five years,

02:22:25.000 he believes, is going to be some giant breakthroughs.

02:22:28.000 It's legitimate.

02:22:29.000 So is it more of the...

02:22:31.000 The benefit is the generations, like two generations after us are going to benefit heavily.

02:22:37.000 No, I think we're going to benefit from it.

02:22:38.000 You think so?

02:22:39.000 Yeah, it's regenerative, meaning you're literally going to not just stop aging, it's going to regenerate to the point where it's going to, your biological age, even though your physical age, your calendar age is the same,

02:22:54.000 you're going to keep getting older that way, but your biological age is going to go backwards.

02:23:02.000 Yeah, because what they're doing is they're treating aging like a disease.

02:23:06.000 They're not treating it like an inevitable aspect of life.

02:23:11.000 They're like, well, what's causing aging?

02:23:13.000 Well, breakdown of the body due to normal stresses and just overall use.

02:23:19.000 Okay, well, what is the difference between someone who's 5 or 6 versus someone who's 50 or 60?

02:23:25.000 Well, the body's ability to regenerate tissue, the body's ability to recover, you know, all these different things that are going on inside the cells.

02:23:35.000 And what causes that?

02:23:37.000 Like, what is the mitochondria?

02:23:39.000 How do we get that to function?

02:23:42.000 That's kind of like the NAD stuff.

02:23:44.000 100%.

02:23:44.000 Yeah.

02:23:45.000 100%.

02:23:45.000 That's one aspect of it.

02:23:47.000 NAD is one piece in a giant mandala of different methodologies.

02:23:55.000 And they're going to be able to come up with...

02:23:59.000 Just think about what they can do now versus what they could do 50 years ago. 1.00

02:24:03.000 50 years ago, if you blew your knee out, you were fucked. 1.00

02:24:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:24:06.000 You were fucked. 1.00

02:24:06.000 My friend Steve Graham, a good buddy of mine, he used to be on the U.S. ski team, and his knees are destroyed. 1.00

02:24:12.000 He was on the ski team in the 80s, and they cut him open like a fish, like giant scars up and down the sides of his legs.

02:24:20.000 They had to stitch things together and bolt things down.

02:24:23.000 And it's just a mess in there.

02:24:25.000 Just a fat mess.

02:24:27.000 And nowadays, I mean, both of my knees have been reconstructed.

02:24:30.000 I have two reconstructed ACLs.

02:24:32.000 They work great.

02:24:33.000 You know, there's no issues.

02:24:35.000 I mean, I can do literally everything.

02:24:36.000 I do yoga, kickbox, all these different things with reconstruction knees.

02:24:41.000 And I mean, have you seen the way I kick a heavy bag?

02:24:43.000 There's an enormous amount of force that's on those knees.

02:24:47.000 No problem at all.

02:24:48.000 And when you think about what they're going to be able to do 50 years from now, they're going to make you an 18 year old.

02:24:57.000 You're going to be able to regenerate tissue.

02:24:59.000 All the things that are happening to people's discs.

02:25:02.000 Where they get degenerative disc disease, which I have, which your disc gets smaller and actually your spinal column is actually compacted more and you have to try to mitigate that with spinal decompression and a bunch of different things.

02:25:15.000 They're going to be able to inject stem cells into that.

02:25:18.000 It's going to regrow disc tissue.

02:25:19.000 Well, they're already doing that right now.

02:25:20.000 Yeah.

02:25:21.000 We're on the verge. 0.96

02:25:23.000 But my point is, how the fuck did I wind up talking to these people? 0.96

02:25:29.000 I didn't really pay much attention in school. 0.91

02:25:32.000 How am I talking to these people?

02:25:33.000 How did all this happen?

02:25:34.000 How are presidential candidates coming to me trying to get on the podcast so I can help them spread their message? 0.99

02:25:40.000 Like, what the fuck happened? 0.98

02:25:42.000 I really feel like... 0.98

02:25:44.000 It sounds like wacky woo-woo, but there was an opening in the universe.

02:25:49.000 It was like an opening.

02:25:50.000 And somehow or another, I was the one who stepped through that opening.

02:25:53.000 And I didn't even know I was doing it while I was doing it.

02:25:55.000 And this thing, the seeds were planted, and this thing just grew.

02:25:59.000 And then I became responsible for taking care of it.

02:26:02.000 Well, I think because it started out organic, too.

02:26:06.000 100%.

02:26:06.000 You didn't start saying, I'm going to do this.

02:26:08.000 No.

02:26:08.000 There's no ambition behind it.

02:26:10.000 Zero.

02:26:11.000 That's also a big problem with other people that are trying to start podcasts.

02:26:15.000 I had a conversation with John Lovitz about it.

02:26:17.000 He's like, no one wants to pay me any money to do it.

02:26:20.000 I go, they're not going to pay you any money if they don't make any money.

02:26:23.000 And he goes, well, they should just pay money.

02:26:25.000 That way they can do it and it'll be good.

02:26:26.000 And I was like, okay.

02:26:29.000 I got stuck with him on a plane once.

02:26:32.000 He was telling me, you have a podcast network?

02:26:34.000 I go, no, I don't.

02:26:35.000 Yes, you do.

02:26:36.000 Put me on your network.

02:26:37.000 John, I don't have a network.

02:26:38.000 I do not have a network.

02:26:41.000 I had to explain to him.

02:26:42.000 But his thing was that somebody wanted him to do a podcast, but they didn't want to pay him what he felt he should get paid for a podcast.

02:26:50.000 I'm like, they're not going to make any money until it's successful.

02:26:53.000 The only way it's going to be successful is if you do it.

02:26:55.000 Yeah, and 99% of them aren't successful.

02:26:57.000 Yeah.

02:26:58.000 Yeah, but there's so many of them.

02:27:00.000 Yeah.

02:27:00.000 There's 900,000 podcasts.

02:27:03.000 There's 300 and what, 30, 40, 50 million people?

02:27:08.000 So what does that mean? 0.98

02:27:09.000 That means like one out of every 300 people has a fucking podcast? 0.99

02:27:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:27:13.000 Is that real? 0.99

02:27:15.000 Is it?

02:27:16.000 Yeah.

02:27:18.000 That's crazy.

02:27:19.000 I would say yeah.

02:27:19.000 Sounds right.

02:27:20.000 That's crazy.

02:27:20.000 Wait, there's 900,000 podcasts?

02:27:22.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

02:27:23.000 I mean, they're international ones too, but yeah, yeah, for sure.

02:27:26.000 That sounds pretty close to right.

02:27:27.000 That doesn't sound crazy.

02:27:29.000 Let's cut it in half because of international.

02:27:32.000 Okay.

02:27:32.000 So let's say one out of every six...

02:27:36.000 Six...

02:27:37.000 Yeah, let's say 500. One out of 500 people has it?

02:27:39.000 That sounds not crazy right now.

02:27:41.000 That's insane.

02:27:42.000 That is insane.

02:27:43.000 I know.

02:27:43.000 That is probably accurate.

02:27:45.000 My wife's friends have podcasts.

02:27:48.000 I got stopped by a black lady at an airport, 80 years old.

02:27:52.000 She goes...

02:27:52.000 I saw you on the Joe Rogan podcast.

02:27:54.000 It's just amazing the range.

02:27:57.000 I'm like, how do you...

02:27:59.000 Because you know me, I'm expecting a certain person.

02:28:02.000 I had this really old guy come up to me in a restaurant and he looked like he was deep in his 80s.

02:28:08.000 I just really want you to know I enjoy your program.

02:28:11.000 It's a very thoughtful program.

02:28:13.000 You have an interesting way of looking at things.

02:28:15.000 I was like, you watch it.

02:28:18.000 Wow.

02:28:19.000 I want to ask you about This may be all type, but the Dante Wilder excuse he came out with today.

02:28:28.000 It's unfortunate.

02:28:29.000 Do you think...

02:28:31.000 Is there any validity to that?

02:28:35.000 If...

02:28:37.000 Look, I put a, do you know what a, what is it called, an atlas pack?

02:28:43.000 Yes.

02:28:44.000 I put an atlas pack on my back all the time and I put a 45 pound plate on.

02:28:48.000 So it's about 55 pounds and I go hiking through the hills. 0.95

02:28:51.000 And after I can still do whatever the fuck I want. 0.96

02:28:53.000 And I'm just Joe Rogan. 0.99

02:28:55.000 I'm not Deontay fucking Wilder. 0.97

02:28:57.000 The idea that Deontay Wilder with a 40 pound outfit on, that it killed his legs, walk into the ring, that's crazy talk. 0.96

02:29:05.000 I don't understand why he would say that.

02:29:06.000 I mean, maybe it's true.

02:29:08.000 If it's true.

02:29:09.000 He said he had it on like 20 minutes before or 15 minutes before he went out.

02:29:14.000 It's possible.

02:29:15.000 Look, it's possible that that tired him out.

02:29:17.000 It's possible.

02:29:18.000 See, I'm no fight expert or anything, so I just don't know if there's validity in it. 0.98

02:29:24.000 Well, who the fuck would let him put that on? 0.95

02:29:27.000 If that was that heavy, that it was 40 pounds, that it got to the point where it actually wore his body out as he was walking to the ring. 0.99

02:29:33.000 Well, he tried it on the night before, they said, and he liked it.

02:29:37.000 So he's like, I'm aware.

02:29:38.000 Well, he makes the decisions.

02:29:40.000 It was his.

02:29:41.000 Yeah, that's a crazy decision.

02:29:45.000 No, that's not what happened, though.

02:29:47.000 I mean, it might have wore him out.

02:29:48.000 I mean, he just got beat up.

02:29:49.000 It might have wore him out.

02:29:50.000 But the real big thing happened in the third round.

02:29:53.000 When Tyson Fury, he put that jab in his face and hit him with that beautiful overhand right on the ear and dropped him. 0.98

02:30:02.000 Equilibrium went off after that?

02:30:04.000 I think...

02:30:04.000 Does that cause equal...

02:30:05.000 Oh yeah, 100%.

02:30:06.000 Okay.

02:30:07.000 Because he was bleeding out of his ear.

02:30:09.000 Out of his ear, yeah.

02:30:09.000 So that's a significant injury.

02:30:11.000 It could be a ruptured eardrum.

02:30:13.000 When you get hit on the ear like that, a lot of times your eardrum ruptures.

02:30:17.000 Happens all the time.

02:30:18.000 And when that happens, you don't know how to stand upright.

02:30:21.000 Your body's all wacky.

02:30:23.000 It's not moving correctly.

02:30:24.000 And that's what it looked like with him.

02:30:25.000 And that's what I was saying when I was watching it.

02:30:28.000 I was like, his equilibrium's off.

02:30:30.000 I go, that's what's going on.

02:30:31.000 And then eventually the commentator said it as well.

02:30:33.000 But his legs weren't under him.

02:30:36.000 But also, he was getting bombed on.

02:30:38.000 He was getting bombed on.

02:30:39.000 And Tyson Fury was hanging on him.

02:30:42.000 He would wrap his arm around his head and lean on him with that 270 pounds. 1.00

02:30:47.000 So he's carrying all that shit, too. 0.99

02:30:49.000 And Tyson Fury did something that had never been done before. 0.99

02:30:52.000 He bullied Deontay Wilder.

02:30:54.000 He came in heavy.

02:30:56.000 And a lot of people thought he came in too heavy.

02:30:58.000 But I think one of the reasons why he came in heavy is this is part of the strategy.

02:31:01.000 He went to...

02:31:02.000 What's up?

02:31:02.000 You got something?

02:31:03.000 Did not have a broken eardrum, apparently.

02:31:06.000 A minor laceration to his ear.

02:31:09.000 Wilder did not have a broken jaw, someone speculated, nor did he have a broken eardrum.

02:31:13.000 He had a two-centimeter cut on his ear that took seven stitches to close.

02:31:17.000 Defeat de Fury was the first of Wilder's professional career.

02:31:19.000 That's interesting.

02:31:21.000 So even though he didn't have a ruptured eardrum, he still took a significant shot to the ear, which oftentimes fucks up your equilibrium.

02:31:30.000 And any shot to the temple, to the ear, a lot of times it fucks up your balance.

02:31:37.000 But he got bombed on. 0.90

02:31:39.000 Oh yeah.

02:31:39.000 And Tyson Fury figured something out in the first fight that in the 12th round, Deontay did not like it when he came after him.

02:31:47.000 He said he doesn't fight well backing up.

02:31:48.000 He said he's awkward on his feet.

02:31:50.000 And so instead of letting Deontay come to him and he was boxing like he did for most of the first fight, he fought the second fight the way he fought him in the 12th round.

02:32:00.000 He came after him.

02:32:01.000 Which is just get glued to his face, run right after him, hit him with a right hand, And he bullied the bully, you know?

02:32:09.000 And, you know, I don't mean Deontay's a bully like in a bad way. 0.69

02:32:13.000 I mean, his style is, he's very aggressive.

02:32:16.000 He's one of the most ruthless punching knockout artists in the history of the sport, if not the number one.

02:32:22.000 I mean, the guy has 42 knockouts, which is insane.

02:32:28.000 How many did Tyson have?

02:32:30.000 Maybe he has 41. I think he's got 41 knockouts, 42 wins, one by decision, and one draw, and now he has one loss.

02:32:39.000 Tyson had less.

02:32:40.000 Tyson went to the decision with a lot of people.

02:32:44.000 You know, he went to the decision with Mitch Blood Green.

02:32:46.000 He went to the decision with, I mean, you can go down the list.

02:32:48.000 There was a lot of people.

02:32:50.000 Tyson's obviously one of the greats and obviously a brutal knockout artist, but Deontay Wilder has that touch of death.

02:32:55.000 It's crazy. 0.99

02:32:56.000 I mean, he dropped Tyson Fury twice in their first fight, and the 12th round, it looked like he was fucked. 0.96

02:33:03.000 Do you think they should have stopped it at the 7th or earlier? 0.91

02:33:07.000 I think it's better for his life and his career that they stopped it.

02:33:10.000 He wasn't going to come back.

02:33:11.000 I don't think he was going to come back. 1.00

02:33:12.000 He was getting fucked up. 0.99

02:33:13.000 And Tyson Fury was not going to stop punching him in the head either. 1.00

02:33:16.000 He was going to keep doing it.

02:33:17.000 Tyson was pure and clean and literally unharmed.

02:33:22.000 And looked fantastic.

02:33:24.000 I mean, he'd been hit a couple of times, but no problems.

02:33:27.000 There was nothing that rocked him, nothing that hurt him.

02:33:29.000 A few punches bounced off of him, but he was putting it on Deontay Wilder.

02:33:33.000 I mean, he was putting it on him.

02:33:35.000 If that is true, that he had it on for 20 minutes and that it really wore him out, that's exceptionally silly on the part of his management to allow that to happen.

02:33:45.000 That someone didn't see that.

02:33:46.000 That his trainer didn't see that.

02:33:47.000 They didn't recognize that that was going to be a big problem.

02:33:50.000 Maybe they didn't calculate it.

02:33:52.000 Well, I think he just threw it on the night before and goes, oh, it feels good.

02:33:55.000 Didn't really think, I'm going to be in this thing for close to 35 minutes before I get on.

02:33:59.000 Oh, right.

02:34:00.000 You know, he has to be back there 20 minutes, then the walk-up is like three or four minutes, and then you're walking into the ring.

02:34:05.000 And you've got to carry it around while you're walking in the ring.

02:34:07.000 Yeah.

02:34:07.000 You know?

02:34:08.000 It's a good point.

02:34:10.000 It had an effect.

02:34:11.000 I guarantee it would have an effect. 1.00

02:34:13.000 But the question is, would it have enough of an effect that it would fuck his legs up to the point where he couldn't recover? 0.99

02:34:20.000 Maybe. 0.99

02:34:21.000 Maybe it's valid.

02:34:22.000 The only comparison I have, and like I said, I know nothing about boxing, but if I hold, my son is 35 pounds.

02:34:28.000 If I hold him for like 10 minutes, I'm tired.

02:34:30.000 Right, but your arms are tired.

02:34:31.000 But I'm not a professional boxer.

02:34:32.000 Your arms are tired.

02:34:33.000 Would your legs be tired?

02:34:34.000 No.

02:34:34.000 My kid, my 11-year-old is 80 pounds, and I walk around Disneyland with her on my shoulders.

02:34:39.000 Yeah.

02:34:40.000 I can, you know, I can see, but then again, I'm not fighting afterwards.

02:34:44.000 I'm just walking around.

02:34:45.000 I can see it having an effect.

02:34:47.000 How much of an effect is the question?

02:34:48.000 It's just silly that they let him do it.

02:34:51.000 I mean, if I picked that thing up and I was his trainer, I'd be, hey, hey, hey, feel this.

02:34:56.000 Now think about how long you're going to have this on. 1.00

02:34:58.000 Fuck this. 1.00

02:34:59.000 Let's just go out there, Norm. 1.00

02:35:01.000 I mean, I guarantee you, next time you see him, he's going to be dressed like Tyson.

02:35:03.000 Yeah, just come out in the trunks. 0.98

02:35:05.000 Yeah, just trunks, a fucking small towel around his neck like Tyson used to do. 0.99

02:35:09.000 That was so intimidating, the way that dude just came in. 0.99

02:35:12.000 No socks.

02:35:13.000 He just came in like, what?

02:35:15.000 Let's do this.

02:35:16.000 And just stormed towards that rain.

02:35:17.000 You would see death coming down that aisle.

02:35:19.000 You're like, oh my God, what have I signed up for?

02:35:23.000 It was so true. 0.97

02:35:24.000 What have I signed up for?

02:35:25.000 And when I read Tyson's book and I interviewed, he was like, man, I was like, he was scared.

02:35:31.000 Every time I walked in a ring, he was petrified.

02:35:33.000 Didn't look like it, man.

02:35:35.000 Well, once he got in there, he put himself into the position that he's been in many, many, many times.

02:35:40.000 He was the destroyer. 0.95

02:35:42.000 But all the lead up to, I mean, it's like anticipation fucks with everybody's head. 0.90

02:35:46.000 Yeah.

02:35:46.000 I think Deontay would be better than ever for the next fight.

02:35:50.000 The question is, if Tyson Fury fights him that same way and stays on him, can he beat that Tyson Fury?

02:35:55.000 Because Tyson Fury is just boxing his face off.

02:35:58.000 When this does happen, who would you pick out the gate on this one?

02:36:02.000 You have to pick Tyson Fury.

02:36:03.000 Yeah.

02:36:03.000 Because I think he won the first fight.

02:36:06.000 Deontay knocked him down twice, but not only did he knock him down in the 12th round, but Tyson Fury came back and won the remainder of that round.

02:36:14.000 So you could almost give that round a draw, and then the other round when he knocked him down, you've got to give to Deontay Wilder.

02:36:20.000 The remaining 10 rounds are not in dispute.

02:36:23.000 The remaining 10 rounds went to Tyson Fury.

02:36:25.000 So if you just look at it on paper, he should have won that fight.

02:36:29.000 Although most people weren't upset with the decision, Because Deontay almost had him out.

02:36:35.000 And it's like, it's exciting.

02:36:36.000 Let's do a rematch. 0.64

02:36:38.000 No big deal. 0.98

02:36:39.000 But then in the rematch, Tyson Fury just took the judges out of the fucking equation and just bombed on them. 1.00

02:36:45.000 It's really unfortunate that there is a question of whether or not that big stupid suit was wearing his legs out. 0.99

02:36:52.000 Because if that really is the case, that bums me out, man. 1.00

02:36:55.000 That bums me out.

02:36:56.000 That's what he said, but like...

02:36:58.000 I didn't think of it.

02:36:59.000 I was thinking it was a joke until you told me that it was like he wore it for 20 minutes.

02:37:03.000 Then I was like, huh.

02:37:04.000 Yeah.

02:37:05.000 Well, that would be different.

02:37:06.000 That's different.

02:37:07.000 That's real weight.

02:37:09.000 If you just put it on, you walked out there for 30 seconds, you had this 40-pound thing on.

02:37:12.000 Yeah, no big deal.

02:37:13.000 I wouldn't advise it.

02:37:15.000 No.

02:37:15.000 Yeah, it's not good.

02:37:17.000 But he had it on for at least 30 minutes, if I'm guessing.

02:37:20.000 He said he had it on 20 minutes before the fight.

02:37:23.000 He had to do the walk-up.

02:37:24.000 He had to get in a ring in it.

02:37:26.000 And he said when he took it off, he knew that was the game-changer.

02:37:29.000 You've got to think, Deontay Wilder coming into that fight has flatlined every single opponent he's faced except for Tyson Fury.

02:37:38.000 Stiverne, he didn't flatline him in the first fight. 0.95

02:37:40.000 He just beat him by decision, beat the shit out of him. 0.99

02:37:42.000 But in the second fight, he fucking murked him. 0.99

02:37:44.000 So he was probably thinking he could merc anybody. 0.98

02:37:47.000 All he has to do is touch them, the way he did with Luis Ortiz.

02:37:51.000 Same thing in the first fight.

02:37:52.000 Had a tough first fight with him.

02:37:53.000 Second fight, mercs him with one punch. 0.84

02:37:55.000 I think he just had this thing in his head that that's what he does, and he's going to do that to Tyson Fury, too.

02:38:01.000 And he never believed that Tyson Fury was actually going to fight that way.

02:38:04.000 That he was going to jump on him.

02:38:06.000 But Tyson said he was going to do that.

02:38:07.000 I know, but...

02:38:08.000 Like, told him the game plan.

02:38:09.000 Like, I'm coming after you.

02:38:11.000 Deontay literally said, you don't believe a word you're saying.

02:38:17.000 He believes it now.

02:38:18.000 He believes it now.

02:38:19.000 I'm real excited.

02:38:20.000 I'm excited for the third one.

02:38:22.000 Well, they were talking about him fighting Anthony Joshua.

02:38:26.000 Tyson Fury fighting Anthony Joshua first.

02:38:29.000 And if that does happen, I think he beats Anthony Joshua.

02:38:32.000 I think Tyson Fury's the best heavyweight on Earth.

02:38:34.000 I do.

02:38:35.000 And I think the only person that could beat him is probably...

02:38:39.000 Wilder, if Wilder can recreate the success of the first fight and catch him.

02:38:44.000 Do you think fights are...

02:38:45.000 I remember, like, after Tyson stopped boxing or after, you know, he lost, I kind of lost a lot of interest in it because I grew up with, like, Sugar Ray, Tommy Hearns, and Marvelous Marvin Hagler, and I felt like I don't see fights like that anymore.

02:39:01.000 Oh, well, they're possible today.

02:39:03.000 I mean...

02:39:04.000 But you used to see them all the time.

02:39:05.000 Team Thurman and Manny Pacquiao was an amazing fight.

02:39:07.000 Yeah.

02:39:07.000 Anytime Terence Crawford fights, I'm in.

02:39:10.000 I love that guy.

02:39:11.000 He's phenomenal.

02:39:12.000 Back then, it seemed like every fight was a great fight.

02:39:16.000 Or is that just getting old and reminiscing?

02:39:18.000 Yeah, it's just reminiscing.

02:39:19.000 There's some great fighters now.

02:39:20.000 Earl Spence Jr., Vasily Lomachenko.

02:39:24.000 It's a great time for boxing.

02:39:26.000 Usyk is now a heavyweight.

02:39:28.000 It's a great time for boxing.

02:39:29.000 It really is.

02:39:30.000 And before your crowd jumps on me, I don't know anything about boxing, so I'm not saying anything.

02:39:35.000 Well, I'm not a boxing expert.

02:39:36.000 I know some stuff about boxing because I'm a fan, but it's not like MMA. If someone wants to talk to me about MMA, I can give you very educated opinions on things and I can dissect things.

02:39:49.000 With boxing, I have some opinions, but you know, There's other people that are better at it.

02:39:54.000 It's a good time, though.

02:39:55.000 I like it.

02:39:56.000 I'll get into it, then.

02:39:57.000 I'll get into it again.

02:39:58.000 I'll let you know when something big is happening.

02:40:00.000 When there's a big one.

02:40:01.000 You know, we do these fight companions for UFC fights.

02:40:05.000 We should do some of them for boxing.

02:40:07.000 We've only done it for Glory, for kickboxing.

02:40:10.000 You should do a boxing one.

02:40:11.000 I know, we should.

02:40:12.000 We should have done it for that fight.

02:40:13.000 We would have went crazy. 0.99

02:40:16.000 We went and went fucking crazy. 0.99

02:40:19.000 When he knocked him down the third round, I screamed. 1.00

02:40:22.000 Everybody in my house was like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

02:40:24.000 I know. 0.99

02:40:25.000 I think they should have stopped it in the fifth or sixth.

02:40:29.000 They could have done that, too.

02:40:30.000 Yeah, but he's Deontay Wilder, man.

02:40:33.000 One punch, one punch.

02:40:35.000 One swinging right hand, and next thing you know, Tyson Fury's got a flashlight in his face, and he can't believe it.

02:40:40.000 He's like, what?

02:40:41.000 Huh?

02:40:42.000 It's over?

02:40:43.000 What happened?

02:40:44.000 That's what Deontay does to people.

02:40:45.000 When he hit Luis Ortiz and the spray of sweat flew off his face and Ortiz crumbled and he had this look in his eyes like, what just happened?

02:40:53.000 Did I get hit by God?

02:40:54.000 Did I get hit by a lightning bolt?

02:40:56.000 That's true.

02:40:56.000 Did a lightning bolt come out of the sky?

02:40:58.000 Like, people can't believe how hard he hits.

02:41:00.000 But the key to Tyson Fury's victory is he didn't let him hit him.

02:41:03.000 He just jumped on him.

02:41:04.000 And Tyson Fury has a unique style. 0.99

02:41:08.000 Like that big motherfucker, he's 6'9". 0.99

02:41:11.000 He's so big. 1.00

02:41:13.000 So big.

02:41:13.000 And so long.

02:41:14.000 And he's such a good boxer, man.

02:41:17.000 No one in the heavyweight division has that kind of head movement.

02:41:20.000 I don't know.

02:41:21.000 And he's such a character.

02:41:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:41:22.000 He says he jerked off seven times a day to build his testosterone. 1.00

02:41:25.000 Did you see that? 0.99

02:41:26.000 No.

02:41:27.000 He's saying he's going, I'm going to settle gypsy lube. 1.00

02:41:29.000 He's got his own lube, his own brand of personal lube that he beats off with.

02:41:33.000 He says beating off seven times a day increases his testosterone.

02:41:38.000 I don't know.

02:41:38.000 I don't know if there's facts behind that.

02:41:40.000 I don't know.

02:41:40.000 That might be conjecture.

02:41:41.000 Right, right.

02:41:44.000 Hey, where was that special that I saw of you?

02:41:48.000 You have a special.

02:41:48.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:41:49.000 It's on Amazon Prime, Blasian. 1.00

02:41:52.000 That's what it's called.

02:41:52.000 That's what it's called, Blasian?

02:41:53.000 And what's crazy is it came out probably about eight months, last time I was on here, but they just released it on DVD, so my mom thinks I made it.

02:42:02.000 Like, literally...

02:42:05.000 Like, it got released last week on DVD at Best Buy and Target, and my mom saw it at Target.

02:42:11.000 That's hilarious.

02:42:12.000 Your mom still buys DVDs.

02:42:14.000 Yeah, I was like, who buys DVDs?

02:42:16.000 And, you know, Comedy Dynamics was like, yeah, a company wanted to put it out.

02:42:19.000 So I was like, all right, cool.

02:42:21.000 But the main thing is, I'm going to be in New York.

02:42:24.000 I got this new tour, new material.

02:42:25.000 I'm exhausted.

02:42:26.000 That's what it's called.

02:42:27.000 It talks about my two kids, the family, all the things going on in the world.

02:42:31.000 And I'm at Gotham.

02:42:33.000 Comedy Club, March 7th and 8th.

02:42:35.000 Look at that.

02:42:36.000 Yeah, it's the diapers and the bottles now, man.

02:42:40.000 I think it's March 7th.

02:42:42.000 I put the wrong date on there, but March 7th and 8th. 1.00

02:42:44.000 Fix that shit. 0.99

02:42:45.000 I am, I am. 1.00

02:42:46.000 You put the wrong date on the fucking banner? 1.00

02:42:49.000 Oh my goodness. 1.00

02:42:50.000 I'm an idiot. 1.00

02:42:51.000 And then, on the largest podcast in the world... 1.00

02:42:55.000 It's March 7th and 8th.

02:42:56.000 7th and 8th.

02:42:57.000 Gotham comedy.

02:42:58.000 People are going to try to buy tickets for the 6th and they're like, what?

02:43:00.000 Maybe they can squeeze you in on the 6th too.

02:43:02.000 No.

02:43:03.000 No.

02:43:03.000 It's my son's birthday.

02:43:04.000 Oh, there you go.

02:43:05.000 I got to be there, man.

02:43:06.000 That's probably why you subliminally accidentally put that, you're thinking about that number.

02:43:10.000 Oh man, I can't miss my son's birthday.

02:43:11.000 No, of course not.

02:43:12.000 So michaelyo.com for tickets.

02:43:14.000 Beautiful.

02:43:14.000 So this special that's on Amazon, why did they release it now on DVD? They said, Comedy Dynamics, I guess there's a DVD company that invests in a couple specials a year.

02:43:26.000 And for some reason, they invested in mine and thought it could do well.

02:43:30.000 And I was like, who buys DVDs?

02:43:33.000 And they go, oh, it's about $3 billion a year still.

02:43:35.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:43:36.000 Yeah, and I'm like, okay. 0.99

02:43:37.000 I'm buying most of those action movies and shit. 0.89

02:43:40.000 But who buys DVDs? 0.99

02:43:41.000 People live somewhere.

02:43:42.000 I don't even have a DVD player. 0.97

02:43:43.000 The internet sucks. 0.86

02:43:44.000 Yeah? 0.99

02:43:44.000 Where's that, though? 0.99

02:43:46.000 Rural America? 0.62

02:43:48.000 Even rural America has internet, Joe.

02:43:50.000 Not if you have satellite.

02:43:51.000 The people with satellite, you can't really stream Netflix and stuff with satellite.

02:43:55.000 Unless you have really good satellite.

02:43:57.000 Like, how good is good satellite now?

02:43:59.000 There's still Redbox and, like...

02:44:01.000 Oh, we can get a DVD? There's still Redbox?

02:44:02.000 Yeah, those are big.

02:44:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:44:04.000 There's a couple other companies like it.

02:44:05.000 I'm not shitting on Redbox, but I... Someone should have told Blockbuster to hang in there.

02:44:11.000 Netflix still sends them.

02:44:12.000 That's like their original business.

02:44:13.000 No, they do not.

02:44:14.000 They definitely still do.

02:44:15.000 They do?

02:44:15.000 No, they don't.

02:44:17.000 They got rid of that.

02:44:18.000 No, no, no.

02:44:18.000 I guarantee you they got rid of it.

02:44:19.000 No, it's still there.

02:44:20.000 No, they got rid of it.

02:44:21.000 I know people that do use it.

02:44:22.000 They got rid of it.

02:44:23.000 Are you just guessing?

02:44:25.000 No, I know.

02:44:26.000 I thought I read an article that said they got rid of that like three or four years ago.

02:44:31.000 They don't have...

02:44:32.000 Why would...

02:44:33.000 Look, hey, get the DVD. Get the DVD if you want.

02:44:36.000 But I just don't know one person.

02:44:39.000 Like, my mom didn't even buy my DVD. Look at that.

02:44:41.000 Movies delivered right to your mailbox.

02:44:43.000 Free shipping, no late fees.

02:44:45.000 Is that Netflix?

02:44:46.000 Yeah, it's DVD.com, but it's DVD.netflix.com.

02:44:50.000 Wow.

02:44:53.000 That's crazy.

02:44:54.000 Hanging in there.

02:44:55.000 So the two facts, it's about $3 billion a year, and Aquaman made $17 million off of DVDs.

02:45:04.000 Whoa.

02:45:05.000 Right?

02:45:05.000 Really?

02:45:06.000 Yes.

02:45:06.000 That's a bunch of ladies finger-blasting themselves to Jason Momoa.

02:45:09.000 That is pausing.

02:45:12.000 It's the most paused movie ever in all of our library.

02:45:15.000 They just pause it when he's flexing.

02:45:17.000 Yeah.

02:45:17.000 Nobody ever finishes the movie.

02:45:22.000 Yeah, it's the most watched to movie with a vibrator.

02:45:28.000 Roughly 212 million...

02:45:30.000 DVD, Blu-ray, and rentals account for 1.34% of Netflix revenue.

02:45:37.000 Wow.

02:45:38.000 2.7 million subscribers as of last year.

02:45:40.000 So they made $212 million just from DVDs last year.

02:45:44.000 And that's just Netflix.

02:45:46.000 Just Netflix.

02:45:47.000 Wait, renting.

02:45:48.000 That's just renting.

02:45:49.000 That's not even owning.

02:45:50.000 That's renting.

02:45:51.000 Hey, Joe, you better put out a DVD quick.

02:45:54.000 I don't know.

02:45:55.000 Middle America.

02:45:56.000 Netflix. 1.00

02:45:57.000 I wonder if they put my shit on DVDs. 0.99

02:45:59.000 I'm sure you can read it. 0.99

02:46:01.000 Strange Times is on DVDs.

02:46:02.000 I don't know.

02:46:05.000 People are still doing it.

02:46:07.000 That's one thing that I am curious about, though.

02:46:09.000 What's the best satellite downloads you can get?

02:46:12.000 What do you mean, what's a satellite download?

02:46:15.000 If you're in the middle of the country, you can get satellite internet when the upload is terrible.

02:46:19.000 I think now everybody has good internet.

02:46:24.000 That's what Elon's trying to fix that problem.

02:46:27.000 Yeah, but he's filling the sky up with junk.

02:46:30.000 Stuff's floating around up there.

02:46:32.000 Amateur astronomers getting pissed.

02:46:34.000 They think they're seeing UFOs, just Elon satellites.

02:46:36.000 What is...

02:46:40.000 Have you ever had a Tesla or do you have a Tesla?

02:46:42.000 Yeah.

02:46:42.000 Do you let it drive yourself?

02:46:45.000 On the highway, I hit it, but I keep my hand on the steering wheel.

02:46:47.000 Okay.

02:46:48.000 I love it.

02:46:49.000 I heard it's great.

02:46:52.000 No.

02:46:52.000 It's amazing.

02:46:53.000 But my friend was like, yeah, man, I had a late show in San Diego and I just let it drive me home.

02:46:58.000 I had my hands on the wheel, but I wasn't really paying attention.

02:47:00.000 I was like, that's crazy.

02:47:02.000 That's kind of crazy.

02:47:02.000 I pay attention.

02:47:03.000 But if you are kind of tired, it's a good way to just chill out.

02:47:07.000 Put your hand on the wheel and just let the car do most of the work.

02:47:10.000 It does a lot of the work.

02:47:11.000 So it changes lanes?

02:47:12.000 Oh yeah, it'll change lanes.

02:47:13.000 It'll do everything.

02:47:15.000 Yeah.

02:47:16.000 You just put in your address.

02:47:18.000 And even when you get to the normal streets, it'll turn and all that stuff?

02:47:21.000 There's a thing that you can get that I got that I haven't used that's like some new higher level version of AutoDrive.

02:47:29.000 I haven't done that.

02:47:30.000 And I don't necessarily know what that does specifically different than what I had before.

02:47:34.000 But it was a new update and it was like four grand.

02:47:36.000 So I was like, alright, let's see, Elon.

02:47:38.000 Show me what's up, homie. 1.00

02:47:39.000 But you haven't used it yet.

02:47:40.000 No.

02:47:40.000 First of all, I told Elon I was going to buy one of those things because he came on the podcast.

02:47:44.000 He was telling me about it and I was like, alright, I'll get one.

02:47:46.000 I'll get one.

02:47:46.000 And I got it.

02:47:47.000 And he was right.

02:47:48.000 It's the most amazing car I've ever driven.

02:47:50.000 Most amazing car I've ever driven by far.

02:47:53.000 Did you get the SUV or the car?

02:47:54.000 I got the car.

02:47:55.000 Okay.

02:47:55.000 I got the Model S P100D, which is like the top of the food chain.

02:47:59.000 Okay.

02:48:00.000 S series.

02:48:01.000 Yep.

02:48:01.000 Four doors.

02:48:02.000 The rims, everything.

02:48:03.000 Dude, it's so fast.

02:48:04.000 It's so fast, it doesn't even make sense.

02:48:06.000 You hit the gas, it's like you...

02:48:08.000 There's no gas.

02:48:09.000 You hit the accelerator.

02:48:10.000 You hit that electricity and you're gone.

02:48:12.000 Yeah, you hit that juice.

02:48:13.000 You hit the juice.

02:48:15.000 And you are on a rollercoaster ride.

02:48:17.000 It just pins you to your chair. 1.00

02:48:33.000 Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss What the fuck? 1.00

02:48:36.000 I go, yo, what the fuck, man? 1.00

02:48:38.000 2.4 seconds. 1.00

02:48:39.000 Is that that boost?

02:48:41.000 It's called ludicrous mode. 0.91

02:48:42.000 Ludicrous mode, yeah, yeah. 0.85

02:48:43.000 2.4 seconds, zero to 60. It is insanity.

02:48:47.000 It's so fast.

02:48:49.000 It's so fast, but that's only part of the car.

02:48:52.000 The other thing is the comfort.

02:48:53.000 It's beautiful.

02:48:55.000 It's so smooth and so easy to drive. 0.93

02:48:59.000 And the dashboard, once you get used to having this fucking huge, like bigger than any iPad. 0.93

02:49:06.000 Yeah, I've seen it. 0.93

02:49:07.000 Main navigation screen, like, navigation is way better.

02:49:11.000 And the voice prompts, like, you can say to, like, say, you want to talk about a restaurant, like, Felix is my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles in Venice.

02:49:20.000 I'll say, navigate to Felix Restaurant in Venice.

02:49:24.000 And it'll just go, boop, boop.

02:49:25.000 And it'll just show you on the thing.

02:49:27.000 And all of a sudden, it's there.

02:49:29.000 The voice commands are so good.

02:49:31.000 And it'll just take you there.

02:49:33.000 And it'll take you on autopilot if you want. 1.00

02:49:36.000 And it's fucking madness. 0.98

02:49:38.000 You're living in the future in one of those things. 0.99

02:49:40.000 My dad, he's a nuclear physicist, and he goes, you will never see...

02:49:44.000 I mean, you'll see...

02:49:46.000 The 44 years I've lived, the technology we've seen from not being around to being around, he goes, they'll improve it, it'll get better, but all the stuff that was made in that short amount of time that you didn't have, the internet,

02:50:12.000 New things.

02:50:13.000 New things.

02:50:19.000 They had a car, same type of car, just went a little bit faster.

02:50:22.000 They added a CD or a track.

02:50:25.000 A little better brakes.

02:50:27.000 Oh, now it's a CD player.

02:50:28.000 Oh, the tape player.

02:50:30.000 But still a car.

02:50:31.000 We go from that to, oh, the car's going to drive itself.

02:50:34.000 Yeah.

02:50:35.000 Well, they have a new Tesla coming out, the Tesla Roadster, that's 1.9 seconds zero to 60. Top speed of 250 miles an hour.

02:50:43.000 And the range is 600 miles.

02:50:46.000 So it can go 600 miles without getting recharged. 0.98

02:50:48.000 And it looks dope as fuck. 0.93

02:50:50.000 It looks like a little spaceship. 0.99

02:50:52.000 Like a little spaceship fucked a Ferrari. 0.98

02:50:54.000 That's what it looks like. 0.96

02:50:56.000 That's what it looks like.

02:50:57.000 It's the dopest looking car on the road.

02:50:59.000 It's not on the road yet.

02:51:00.000 They're still developing it.

02:51:02.000 My thing is not speed.

02:51:04.000 I could care less about speed.

02:51:06.000 Yesterday, I was literally driving.

02:51:08.000 I was like, wow, I'm flying.

02:51:09.000 I was going 58 miles per hour.

02:51:10.000 I'm not about speed at all.

02:51:13.000 But I am about speed.

02:51:15.000 I don't ever want to go to a gas station again.

02:51:18.000 So I'm thinking about it in the future to get a Tesla or some type of car.

02:51:22.000 Does your house have a little plug area?

02:51:25.000 Oh yeah, the house came with it.

02:51:27.000 Are you into the solar thing yet on the top of the roof?

02:51:31.000 Yeah.

02:51:32.000 Yeah, well, my house right now, I was going to get Tesla panels, but I can't get Tesla panels on my roof because of the pitch of my roof, but I'm getting them on the side of where the lawn is.

02:51:44.000 So you want to go completely off the grid?

02:51:46.000 Yes. 1.00

02:51:47.000 Well, what if the shit hits the fan, son? 1.00

02:51:49.000 You want to keep that refrigerator running? 1.00

02:51:51.000 You know, you don't want to have to fucking try to kill a squirrel in your neighborhoods. 0.99

02:51:56.000 And you know what? 0.99

02:51:57.000 It's not...

02:51:57.000 I mean, look, it's a lot of money, but it's not as much as you think to do...

02:52:02.000 Like, my friend just did a roof for, like, 50 grand.

02:52:05.000 You know, and he'll never have to pay for electricity.

02:52:07.000 Yeah, and you actually sometimes get money back from the grid.

02:52:11.000 It's a unique time.

02:52:14.000 One of the things that Tesla or Elon is doing that's really intriguing to me that I have guarded skepticism, not guarded skepticism, guarded optimism, I should say, is Neuralink.

02:52:24.000 Do you know about that?

02:52:25.000 I heard the podcast when he was talking, or I've heard something about him talking.

02:52:29.000 Probably going to drill holes in people's heads and put wires in there. 0.99

02:52:33.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:52:34.000 What?

02:52:34.000 No, I'm not for that.

02:52:36.000 Like, where's that going to go?

02:52:38.000 If that gets implemented, and it will, where is, you know...

02:52:42.000 Isn't it, you're supposed to be able, like, if you think about something, it's almost like a computer, you'll see it?

02:52:46.000 Yes, you'll be able to download, you'll be able to access information much quicker, it'll increase your bandwidth to access information.

02:52:53.000 I don't totally understand it. 0.99

02:52:55.000 I've had it explained to me multiple times, but I'm fucking stupid! 0.99

02:52:58.000 So it doesn't all get in there. 0.99

02:53:00.000 But what I'm thinking is, go back to the iPhone 1, right? 0.99

02:53:04.000 And then think about how clunky that little piece of shit is. 0.99

02:53:07.000 And that was only 10 years ago. 1.00

02:53:08.000 Now look at your iPhone, whatever that is, or this one.

02:53:11.000 This is the 11. Yeah, I got 11 too.

02:53:13.000 They're fucking amazing. 0.98

02:53:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:53:14.000 They're amazing. 0.99

02:53:16.000 But, like, it's not going to get any better.

02:53:19.000 There'll be more features, but it's not going to get any better.

02:53:22.000 Well...

02:53:23.000 It's way better in terms of its ability to download things.

02:53:27.000 A step better.

02:53:30.000 How about this?

02:53:31.000 The new Samsung phones.

02:53:32.000 There's a Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra that's just about to come out.

02:53:38.000 It has 5G, so the speeds are spectacular for the internet where 5G is available.

02:53:43.000 And it has a 108 megapixel camera.

02:53:48.000 That's insane.

02:53:49.000 But why do you need that much?

02:53:51.000 A hundred times.

02:53:53.000 A hundred Zoom.

02:53:55.000 Hundred. 0.97

02:53:55.000 So that means, like, you could see some shit that's a hundred times smaller than what you'd be able to see normally. 0.97

02:54:02.000 Okay, but why do we need that? 0.99

02:54:04.000 Why do you not need it, Grandpa?

02:54:05.000 But why do you need it?

02:54:06.000 Why do you need cars?

02:54:07.000 My horse is a good horse.

02:54:09.000 I feed him hay, I treat him well, and we have a wonderful relationship.

02:54:13.000 No.

02:54:14.000 I ride him around.

02:54:15.000 No, I'm not that dude.

02:54:17.000 What do you need that for?

02:54:18.000 What are you going to take a picture of that you need to zoom? 0.99

02:54:20.000 Some shit that I can't see with one zoom. 1.00

02:54:22.000 Damn! 1.00

02:54:23.000 I don't understand how he doesn't get it. 1.00

02:54:24.000 Like?

02:54:26.000 Like what?

02:54:26.000 If you're spying on someone, then no one needs that.

02:54:28.000 Okay, there you go.

02:54:28.000 Okay.

02:54:29.000 If you're an FBI spy.

02:54:30.000 Well, if you're... 0.99

02:54:31.000 Like, how about some shit is going down? 0.99

02:54:33.000 How about you're at the comedy store and you see a fistfight down the street and, like, these two people are beating the fuck out of each other. 0.99

02:54:38.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

02:54:39.000 You zoom the shit in and you can film it. 1.00

02:54:42.000 Okay. 1.00

02:54:42.000 From way, way, way far away. 1.00

02:54:44.000 Gotta go get...

02:54:45.000 Gotta walk closer and get a good shot of that.

02:54:50.000 There's a reason.

02:54:50.000 Why is there a reason to have as many megapixels as you have now?

02:54:54.000 It's not.

02:54:54.000 iPhone 1 is fine.

02:54:55.000 It's not.

02:54:56.000 iPhone 1 is fine.

02:54:57.000 No, it's not. 0.91

02:54:58.000 Did you see that picture that I have in the bathroom of the hooker with her tit out? 1.00

02:55:01.000 No, I've never been to your bathroom. 0.59

02:55:02.000 Oh, there's a picture in the bathroom that I took when I had a flip phone when I was filming Fear Factor.

02:55:07.000 We were in downtown LA, and this lady was walking by. 1.00

02:55:11.000 She was eating a meatball sub.

02:55:12.000 LAUGHTER She has a wig on and sunglasses. 1.00

02:55:15.000 It's literally like I hired her to pose for this picture because it's so perfect.

02:55:20.000 And she pulls her tit out. 1.00

02:55:21.000 She goes, you want some of this, baby? 0.91

02:55:23.000 And I just snap a picture of it.

02:55:25.000 She smiled and she took off. 0.99

02:55:26.000 And then that picture...

02:55:28.000 I put it online in Text America, which eventually became what Instagram is today.

02:55:33.000 And then we found it online, sent it to a printer, had it blown up, and now it's a framed picture.

02:55:40.000 And you would swear I hired someone.

02:55:42.000 It's perfectly framed. 1.00

02:55:44.000 There's like a fucking 18-wheeler behind this lady. 1.00

02:55:47.000 She's walking with a meatball sub with her tit out. 1.00

02:55:49.000 I took that out of the one megapixel camera.

02:55:51.000 And it's perfect.

02:55:52.000 It's pretty good.

02:55:53.000 Okay.

02:55:54.000 So why do you need a hundred of them?

02:55:56.000 Because this is better.

02:55:57.000 This is a concept of the Neuralink potential app, I suppose.

02:56:01.000 Oh, it's an app!

02:56:03.000 They don't really know.

02:56:05.000 I don't think this is just like a concept, but what people linked on here is that a little menu pops up and it says learn skills as though you're in the matrix.

02:56:13.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:56:14.000 You can maybe download a skill or upload a skill to your brain, and now you can...

02:56:19.000 The problem with that is everybody...

02:56:21.000 That's the problem.

02:56:23.000 That's the problem.

02:56:24.000 No, that's the problem.

02:56:25.000 Then everybody can do things they don't put any work into.

02:56:28.000 Yeah, that's great. 0.99

02:56:30.000 No, everybody can just fucking fly across the country. 0.97

02:56:33.000 You don't even have to traverse the place where I had to eat my sister after she's died. 0.98

02:56:38.000 Okay, let me put it like this.

02:56:40.000 Then anybody can do stand-up comedy.

02:56:42.000 No, you can't. 0.98

02:56:44.000 You ain't teaching people shit creatively or artistically. 0.99

02:56:47.000 Good luck. 0.99

02:56:48.000 You think you could teach people how to be Dave Chappelle?

02:56:51.000 No.

02:56:51.000 No chance.

02:56:52.000 You can't with that either.

02:56:53.000 That's not going to be able to do it.

02:56:55.000 That's going to be good for us. 0.99

02:56:56.000 Because out of all that shit, they still can't do that. 1.00

02:56:58.000 That's true. 1.00

02:56:59.000 Good luck, bitch. 1.00

02:57:00.000 Got to put in those numbers. 0.99

02:57:01.000 But what that can do is help you download information.

02:57:04.000 I don't know what that is going to be, but I know Elon Musk is way smarter than us.

02:57:08.000 Will it happen in our lifetime?

02:57:09.000 Yes.

02:57:10.000 I think so.

02:57:10.000 Will you do it?

02:57:13.000 I'm not going to be an early adopter.

02:57:15.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:57:15.000 It's like people that got the first fake tits. 0.98

02:57:17.000 Those ladies got cancer. 1.00

02:57:19.000 Yeah.

02:57:19.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:57:20.000 Do you know girls are getting butt cancer now? 1.00

02:57:22.000 Are they really? 0.97

02:57:22.000 From fake butts? 0.97

02:57:23.000 I didn't know that.

02:57:24.000 Yeah.

02:57:25.000 I know.

02:57:25.000 I know someone.

02:57:26.000 You need to watch Botched. 0.91

02:57:27.000 Butt cancer? 0.82

02:57:28.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:57:30.000 I was watching a clip off of Botch the other day where this girl had a fake butt and they were just trying to fix it. 1.00

02:57:35.000 And it was just this disaster. 0.89

02:57:37.000 This poor lady. 1.00

02:57:38.000 It was just like the surface of the moon. 1.00

02:57:41.000 It was just all dented in and fucked up. 0.98

02:57:44.000 And you know what it is? 1.00

02:57:45.000 It's the Kardashians, man.

02:57:46.000 They ruined it.

02:57:47.000 Well, I think it's every generation or even century, you can go back to the old days, where...

02:57:56.000 The body that's hardest to get is the most popular body.

02:58:01.000 Kings were fat because they had a lot of food.

02:58:04.000 Peasants weren't, but they wanted to be fat because it showed a sign of money.

02:58:09.000 And then it was, I believe the 50s, it was all about rail thin. 0.94

02:58:13.000 No butt, no boobs, just rail. 0.97

02:58:16.000 And then, because that was hard to obtain. 0.98

02:58:19.000 Because most people aren't born like that.

02:58:21.000 Now the Kardashians, it takes money, I guess, for a lot of women to achieve that, and money, the amount of money where you don't have the disposable income to do it. 1.00

02:58:30.000 So not a lot of people can do it.

02:58:32.000 So it seems like the most popular body for women is the bodies, the hardest to obtain. 0.97

02:58:38.000 It's never like, oh, normal body is beautiful. 0.94

02:58:40.000 It's always like, no, we need very large butts.

02:58:44.000 Well, it's also what you see in media, right?

02:58:47.000 100%.

02:58:47.000 That's why a lot of women thought that it would be really good to be real thin because they saw models.

02:58:53.000 Because clothing designers like models to be real thin because then they're like a hanger. 1.00

02:59:00.000 There's no weird big tits and big ass that makes their clothing not stand out. 1.00

02:59:07.000 That it's just about the hanger. 1.00

02:59:09.000 But what changed?

02:59:10.000 Because it's still like that.

02:59:11.000 As far as modeling.

02:59:12.000 Yeah, with modeling. 0.74

02:59:13.000 With clothing.

02:59:14.000 So what changed?

02:59:15.000 What changed is social media.

02:59:17.000 In social media, there's a lot of butt girls that are just online. 1.00

02:59:21.000 I had a proud moment the other day.

02:59:22.000 My nine-year-old, we're at a restaurant.

02:59:24.000 This lady walked by. 0.99

02:59:25.000 My nine-year-old, she pulls at me and she goes, Daddy, she's got diaper butt. 1.00

02:59:29.000 Because that's what I call it. 0.99

02:59:30.000 I call it diaper butt when those girls get fake butts. 1.00

02:59:32.000 Because it looks like they're wearing a full diaper. 0.98

02:59:34.000 It doesn't fit your legs.

02:59:35.000 It doesn't look normal. 0.97

02:59:36.000 But she goes, Daddy, she's got diaper butt. 1.00

02:59:38.000 I was like, yes. 0.96

02:59:40.000 Yes.

02:59:41.000 That's what it is. 0.97

02:59:42.000 It's diaper butt. 1.00

02:59:43.000 It looks like a diaper. 0.99

02:59:44.000 Their legs are really skinny.

02:59:45.000 It's so crazy. 0.85

02:59:46.000 You get this giant dump in your diaper. 1.00

02:59:48.000 You just shit your pants. 1.00

02:59:50.000 You're just walking around waiting to get home. 1.00

02:59:54.000 It's a mess.

02:59:54.000 But...

02:59:55.000 You're right, though.

02:59:56.000 It's unobtainable.

02:59:58.000 Unobtainable.

02:59:58.000 Difficult to obtain.

02:59:59.000 Yeah.

02:59:59.000 But it's also completely exaggerated, right?

03:00:01.000 Like giant tits, small waist, enormous ass. 1.00

03:00:06.000 Giant lips. 1.00

03:00:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:00:07.000 Oh, that's the saddest one, because that doesn't work.

03:00:10.000 No, you look like a fish.

03:00:11.000 Oh, the lip one is such a bad move.

03:00:13.000 And you're ruining the thing you kiss with. 1.00

03:00:16.000 It's like your fucking lips. 1.00

03:00:18.000 What is something that guys do, though? 1.00

03:00:21.000 That.

03:00:21.000 I can't...

03:00:22.000 I was thinking like... 1.00

03:00:23.000 Imagine if guys did have like big dick implants. 1.00

03:00:25.000 Oh, every guy would do it. 1.00

03:00:27.000 Getting their dick stretched out. 1.00

03:00:28.000 Guys can't have even toupees. 1.00

03:00:30.000 No.

03:00:30.000 Guys can't have like...

03:00:32.000 If a guy has like fake eyebrows, girls are like, what? 1.00

03:00:36.000 A guy with fake lips?

03:00:37.000 Imagine if a guy got his... 0.99

03:00:38.000 In the gay community, he'd do it though. 0.97

03:00:40.000 Do they?

03:00:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:00:41.000 There's certain silly gay guys that get their lips done. 1.00

03:00:44.000 I've seen gay guys. 1.00

03:00:45.000 When you're talking to them, it's like super distracting. 0.98

03:00:48.000 Because they're like just...

03:00:50.000 Oh, okay.

03:00:50.000 So they do with the, okay, lip injections?

03:00:53.000 Yeah, they're doing the same thing that a lot of women are doing. 1.00

03:00:55.000 But it's just, the lips are weird. 0.98

03:00:58.000 Because I think people saw that the tits worked and no one cared. 1.00

03:01:01.000 Like, obviously, you see a lot of girls with fake tits and no one seems to mind. 1.00

03:01:05.000 And guys think it's kind of hot. 0.97

03:01:06.000 But they did mind the first, like, three or four years.

03:01:08.000 Everybody would kind of make fun of them.

03:01:09.000 But now it's like, it's so acceptable now.

03:01:12.000 What are you playing music?

03:01:13.000 I didn't mean the music started.

03:01:14.000 What are you doing?

03:01:14.000 Well, I was going to bring up this video that's been going around.

03:01:17.000 I was going to ask if this is a new thing or just the internet got it, but it's wigs for men, but it's gone viral online a few times over the last few months.

03:01:26.000 Oh, have you seen this?

03:01:27.000 They're basically shaving a guy's head and then gluing on a wig.

03:01:30.000 Oh, I have seen that.

03:01:31.000 Do you know how sweaty that must be?

03:01:34.000 Oh, I see.

03:01:35.000 Is it new, though, or is this sort of just being redone?

03:01:38.000 I don't know.

03:01:39.000 I don't know.

03:01:40.000 I read a comment because I saw this.

03:01:41.000 That's not going to stay.

03:01:43.000 See, the thing is...

03:01:44.000 They're saying it does.

03:01:44.000 Yeah, you replace it every six weeks or something like that.

03:01:47.000 But what happens at week five if a girl tries to grab it? 1.00

03:01:50.000 Your hair always...

03:01:50.000 That's what his hair looks like?

03:01:51.000 It looks that good?

03:01:52.000 Wow.

03:01:53.000 No, it's like next level.

03:01:54.000 That's amazing. 0.99

03:01:56.000 Damn, see me next week. 1.00

03:01:59.000 I'm not saying shit, just put it away. 1.00

03:02:01.000 Would it say before? 0.99

03:02:02.000 Would it say before?

03:02:03.000 What was that before?

03:02:05.000 Show it where it said before, because before...

03:02:07.000 Where is before?

03:02:10.000 That's after.

03:02:11.000 Before would be before that, buddy.

03:02:12.000 There you go.

03:02:14.000 So there's his hair.

03:02:16.000 Keep it rolling.

03:02:18.000 And it says before.

03:02:19.000 Oh, so he had some hair.

03:02:20.000 Oh, there's ones that the person is completely bald, and it looks like that after they're done.

03:02:26.000 I've seen ones with black dudes.

03:02:29.000 I've seen black dudes get that, and it's real weird.

03:02:31.000 Like, they...

03:02:32.000 Oh, Jesus.

03:02:33.000 Yeah.

03:02:33.000 Yeah, look at that.

03:02:34.000 Oh, my God.

03:02:34.000 It's a straight-up wig.

03:02:35.000 Yeah.

03:02:36.000 Oh, my God.

03:02:36.000 How's it look?

03:02:38.000 So they shaved his head.

03:02:39.000 Let that go.

03:02:40.000 Let that play. 1.00

03:02:41.000 Stop moving shit around. 1.00

03:02:42.000 I want to see what the fuck... 0.99

03:02:43.000 There's, like, a highlight video that shows lots of guys getting this done so you can see lots of versions of it. 0.98

03:02:47.000 But I want to see that part we were just looking at.

03:02:48.000 Go back to that part we were just looking at where they're working on the glue.

03:02:52.000 Is that how...

03:02:53.000 That guy has one, too.

03:02:54.000 Yeah.

03:02:54.000 Oh!

03:02:55.000 That's so weird.

03:02:56.000 Oh my god, that's so weird.

03:03:00.000 Well, the stem cell treatments that they have for hair loss are very interesting. 0.99

03:03:05.000 That shit is actually working. 0.97

03:03:07.000 Where they're actually growing hair back through stem cells. 0.99

03:03:10.000 But you have to have the hair to grow back.

03:03:12.000 I believe so.

03:03:13.000 See, that's the misconception a lot of people have about it.

03:03:15.000 If you've lost the hair...

03:03:17.000 If it's all gone.

03:03:18.000 It doesn't come back.

03:03:19.000 It doesn't come back.

03:03:20.000 If you have a little, then it can.

03:03:23.000 Yeah.

03:03:26.000 Girls are not going to like that. 1.00

03:03:29.000 Girls don't like guys that have fake shit. 1.00

03:03:31.000 I dated a girl when I first moved to LA. She had a shaved head. 1.00

03:03:33.000 She wore wigs all the time. 1.00

03:03:34.000 I didn't give a fuck. 0.99

03:03:35.000 But imagine if I just started wearing wigs everywhere. 0.99

03:03:38.000 My wife would be like, what are you doing? 1.00

03:03:40.000 It's just my new look.

03:03:43.000 I want to be like Tarzan.

03:03:44.000 There's some things like this that I've noticed have popped back up and gotten famous again.

03:03:48.000 They've already been around the 80s and 90s, but because people weren't online, it just didn't go viral in that way.

03:03:54.000 It snuck back in and people are like, oh, look at this brand new thing.

03:03:57.000 And it's like, it's not new at all.

03:03:58.000 I didn't even know women had fake hair until I moved to LA. Oh, like weaves? 1.00

03:04:03.000 The weaves.

03:04:04.000 I knew nothing about it.

03:04:05.000 So the first time I hooked up with a girl out here when I first moved here, I went out like, you know, she was in bed and I went out to the living room and I thought it was an animal on my couch.

03:04:17.000 I didn't know what it was.

03:04:22.000 It was her hair.

03:04:24.000 I didn't know that they did that.

03:04:26.000 And then I started working for E. They had a wall full of hair for all the girls. 1.00

03:04:31.000 A wall full of hair.

03:04:32.000 So for different girls, they would have the color that matched their hair? 0.99

03:04:36.000 Yeah.

03:04:36.000 Each girl had their own row of hair.

03:04:40.000 In Texas, I never saw that.

03:04:43.000 And I was just shocked that it went to that degree.

03:04:47.000 I didn't even know that happened.

03:04:48.000 Well, I think girls are doing that in Texas, too. 1.00

03:04:50.000 They just didn't tell you.

03:04:52.000 That's a common thing, the weave with the hair.

03:04:54.000 No, I don't think it's...

03:04:55.000 Well, at that time, I don't think...

03:04:57.000 No, because I think it's more of a TV thing.

03:05:00.000 It's definitely more of a TV thing.

03:05:02.000 Because they're like, oh, we need your hair longer, shorter. 0.51

03:05:04.000 Thicker.

03:05:04.000 In Texas, they wouldn't do that.

03:05:06.000 Yeah, maybe.

03:05:08.000 Nah, that was weird.

03:05:09.000 I wonder what's happening to people that people are losing hair.

03:05:12.000 Like, we're evolving, right?

03:05:13.000 If you look at all the other primates, none of the other primates, as they get older, lose their hair.

03:05:18.000 But we have less hair than all the primates, right?

03:05:21.000 So our whole bodies are losing hair.

03:05:23.000 And the weird thing is, like, we definitely came from them.

03:05:27.000 If you pay attention, like, we played this guy, put this guy on images on the podcast before.

03:05:34.000 What is his name?

03:05:36.000 Ruslan Chiev, he's this Russian wrestler who is a gorilla. 1.00

03:05:40.000 He's a gorilla man, and he's a fucking savage. 1.00

03:05:42.000 He just throws people around like ragdolls. 1.00

03:05:44.000 But you look at him, you're like, oh, well, clearly this guy is in a different stage of evolution than some of us.

03:05:50.000 You know, he's like, he's more, more savage.

03:05:52.000 But as people evolve further and further, I think we're going to look like aliens. 0.99

03:05:57.000 I think we're going to lose all our hair, and I think we're going to grow big ass heads. 0.95

03:06:01.000 Because you don't need the hair. 0.72

03:06:03.000 You're going to need to hear that Elon Musk Neuralink is going to change the way our brains function.

03:06:07.000 We're going to do everything with our brains.

03:06:09.000 We're going to be communicating through those things.

03:06:12.000 The 50th or 60th version of that.

03:06:15.000 Just like the iPhone 1 versus the Samsung Galaxy S20 with its 108 megapixel camera.

03:06:22.000 If you came out with that camera and that phone 10 years ago, they'd excuse you of witchcraft. 1.00

03:06:26.000 Who the fuck are you? 1.00

03:06:28.000 What is this? 1.00

03:06:28.000 How did you do this? 1.00

03:06:30.000 In, you know, a thousand years, we're probably all going to look like that.

03:06:34.000 You know what?

03:06:35.000 I know you're big on aliens.

03:06:36.000 I just don't believe it.

03:06:37.000 I mean, we talked about this last time.

03:06:39.000 You don't believe it at all?

03:06:39.000 I believe there's other life forms.

03:06:43.000 You just don't believe they've been here?

03:06:43.000 I don't think they're coming here.

03:06:45.000 There's no reason to come here.

03:06:46.000 We are offering nothing.

03:06:48.000 What are you talking about?

03:06:49.000 What are we offering, Joe?

03:06:50.000 Well...

03:06:50.000 If you're that far...

03:06:51.000 People travel to go study small mammals in the Congo.

03:06:56.000 Do you know that?

03:06:57.000 Yes.

03:06:57.000 They spend giant chunks of their life to go look at butterflies.

03:07:00.000 We found a new frog.

03:07:02.000 And South America and the National Geographic Society will give them money.

03:07:06.000 We're going to document this frog.

03:07:08.000 People are curious.

03:07:09.000 And anything that's going to be intelligent and innovative, anything that's going to invent technology, the only reason why you invent technology is because you are curious.

03:07:18.000 And if you are curious, you're not going to stop being curious.

03:07:21.000 You're going to continue to be curious. 1.00

03:07:23.000 And if you have a fucking whole planet filled with predatory apes that have thermonuclear weapons, and they want to control various patches of land that they've designated on maps with lines, and they put stupid fucking fences up. 0.99

03:07:37.000 and they nuke each other and they fucking fly planes and drop bombs out and they have other planes that they fucking operate remotely with these little joysticks and drop bombs on people and we kill terrorists and some of the people that run the country are terrorists and and then you have for the stock market like what the fuck are these people doing the stock markets what is that a bunch of numbers that are bouncing around they're trying to speculate what's gonna go this and it's based on confidence oh my god these people are crazy and then they have the ability to sound video through the air And it reaches their phone on 0.99

03:08:07.000 the other side of the world instantaneously like, whoa, this is really heavy stuff. 1.00

03:08:11.000 These fucking crazy monkeys down on planet Earth are weird. 1.00

03:08:14.000 We should study them. 1.00

03:08:15.000 Of course they would study us.

03:08:17.000 We're sending rockets into space.

03:08:20.000 We're invading other planets in our solar system to try to colonize.

03:08:25.000 If they're coming here, that's basic to them.

03:08:28.000 All that stuff you just mentioned is so basic.

03:08:30.000 Says who? 0.65

03:08:31.000 Says who? 0.65

03:08:33.000 Says you?

03:08:33.000 No, to get here, they have to have technology we haven't even...

03:08:37.000 No, they don't.

03:08:38.000 No, they have to have technology that's slightly more advanced than us.

03:08:41.000 We will be able to unquestionably travel to other planets within 100 years or 200 years.

03:08:46.000 Let's say 300 years.

03:08:47.000 Okay.

03:08:48.000 So that's comparing us to people that live in 1720, right?

03:08:51.000 That's not that long.

03:08:52.000 Okay.

03:08:53.000 Okay.

03:08:53.000 So it's like, we went back in time to visit people in the 1700s, we'd be fascinated.

03:08:58.000 And we'd be very interested.

03:08:59.000 If we found a planet somewhere, 300 years from now, that had people on that planet that lived like people lived here in the 1700s, we would be blown away. 0.82

03:09:08.000 I just think it's the most unique and interesting thing we've ever found ever in life.

03:09:11.000 I just don't know, with everyone having a cell phone, can take footage, why don't they have, like, real...

03:09:17.000 Why don't multiple people have the same footage of the same thing?

03:09:20.000 Like, it happens...

03:09:21.000 Well, they do.

03:09:21.000 They do.

03:09:22.000 There are some sightings, particularly the Phoenix Lights that happened in the 90s, that many, many people captured.

03:09:28.000 They don't know exactly what they are, they don't know what...

03:09:30.000 But a lot of people captured these lights that are in the sky.

03:09:34.000 Now, my take on the Phoenix Lights and a lot of these things is usually that there's some sort of a military aircraft they're working on.

03:09:40.000 Mm-hmm.

03:09:42.000 But here's the thing.

03:09:43.000 They don't have to visit all the time.

03:09:45.000 If they only visited once or twice, these unique experiences that have happened once or twice over the course of human history, or three times, or ten times, or a hundred times, what are the odds that anyone's going to capture it?

03:09:56.000 Especially if they're smart about it.

03:09:57.000 Especially if they're smart about how they come.

03:09:59.000 Especially if they have some sort of cloaking apparatus or they have some ability to understand whether or not they're being viewed or observed and knowing how to hide or how to camouflage their ships.

03:10:11.000 But of course they would be interested.

03:10:13.000 I think that's the least plausible scenario that they wouldn't be interested in us.

03:10:17.000 The thing that was interesting to me when you interviewed Snow, he's been through everything.

03:10:25.000 Snowden.

03:10:25.000 He found no evidence.

03:10:27.000 But he hasn't been through everything.

03:10:28.000 First of all, he's only one man.

03:10:29.000 Okay.

03:10:31.000 It's not like he's working there for hundreds of years and deeply diving into the subject of UFOs and has access to...

03:10:38.000 And not only that, like, what does he have access to?

03:10:41.000 He has access to the NSA files?

03:10:43.000 And, like, everything's compartmentalized.

03:10:45.000 That's one of the big problems with the military is that NASA does not have access to what the Navy has access to, which doesn't have access to what the Army has access to.

03:10:54.000 They don't always cooperate.

03:10:56.000 So for him to say that he didn't find anything about UFOs, that makes sense.

03:11:02.000 He probably even looked a little bit and didn't find anything about UFOs.

03:11:05.000 That doesn't mean there's nothing about UFOs.

03:11:08.000 It just means that he didn't find anything.

03:11:10.000 Okay.

03:11:11.000 Okay.

03:11:25.000 Well, nothing now.

03:11:26.000 Nothing now.

03:11:27.000 I think at one point in time, well, it is for sure, one point in time, what they used to work on secret military projects, or aircrafts, and that's where the Blackbird came out of, that's where the stealth bomber came out of.

03:11:38.000 There was a lot of that stuff that a lot of people mistook for UFOs.

03:11:41.000 I think the real question lies in the very small percentage of unexplained sightings.

03:11:49.000 So if you look at UFO sightings, you take the pie of UFO sightings, I would say, and not me, they say.

03:11:57.000 What they're talking about that's been solved is somewhere in the neighborhood of 95% of those.

03:12:01.000 95% can be explained by swamp gas, ball lightning.

03:12:06.000 Ball lightning is a phenomenon that comes when, depending upon tectonic pressure, the Earth can release this lightning out of the ground that travels in a ball-shaped pattern and zigs through the sky and then vanishes and disappears.

03:12:20.000 They don't totally understand how it's being created, but they do know it requires Some pressure in the earth, something about tectonic plates and possibly different atmospheric conditions, but it's a real observable phenomenon that's actually occurred on planes before.

03:12:35.000 Like it's flown down the passageway of a jet at one point in time. 0.95

03:12:41.000 Yeah, people, multiple people observed this ball lightning and they thought they were being aborted by a fucking UFO or something. 0.84

03:12:48.000 It's a weird, have you ever seen it? 0.95

03:12:49.000 No.

03:12:49.000 It's a very weird phenomenon.

03:12:51.000 See, get a video on, we should probably wrap this up soon, it's three hours and 30 minutes.

03:13:00.000 Get a video on ball lightning because they have observed this and filmed this.

03:13:05.000 It's really fascinating.

03:13:06.000 That's responsible for a lot of UFO sightings.

03:13:08.000 But there's that 5% that can't be explained.

03:13:12.000 Maybe out of that 5%, 4% that just haven't figured out how to explain it.

03:13:15.000 Let me see this.

03:13:17.000 That is ball lightning.

03:13:19.000 Hovering in the sky.

03:13:20.000 And sometimes they'll fly around.

03:13:22.000 Sometimes not only do they hover in place, but they move around.

03:13:26.000 So lightning crackles, and then this thing will hover in the sky.

03:13:30.000 And then sometimes they actually come out of the ground.

03:13:33.000 You know, this is bad comparison probably, but it's almost like an ash.

03:13:36.000 You know, when you...

03:13:37.000 This is a bad video.

03:13:38.000 See if there's...

03:13:40.000 You know, I understand.

03:13:41.000 But the problem is, there's all these other people talking in it.

03:13:44.000 There's different videos of ball lightning that I've watched. 0.99

03:13:46.000 It's pretty interesting shit, man. 0.98

03:13:48.000 Ball lightning's weird. 0.99

03:13:50.000 Because it's...

03:13:51.000 See, look, like there. 0.99

03:13:53.000 It flies around, and it looks like a fucking UFO. See? 0.99

03:13:57.000 And then it disappears.

03:13:58.000 So, that's a weird one.

03:14:07.000 It's just a very rare atmospheric occurrence.

03:14:16.000 Huh.

03:14:17.000 Yeah. 0.95

03:14:18.000 But I think if I was an alien species 500 years more advanced than we are, I would be fucking fascinated by Earth. 0.95

03:14:27.000 And that's all you need.

03:14:29.000 500 years from now with the exponential growth of technology like we're experiencing on Earth, 500 years from now if we don't blow ourselves up or if they're different than us, like maybe they evolve different and they don't have the same battle for resources so they didn't develop the kind of...

03:14:44.000 Territorial behavior that us apes have, if they develop something more complex and a different sort of cooperative evolutionary mechanism, they could be very different than us, but still way more advanced, but interested in us.

03:14:58.000 Okay.

03:14:58.000 All right.

03:14:59.000 Will you ever see one in your lifetime?

03:15:02.000 I don't know, man.

03:15:02.000 I don't think so.

03:15:03.000 I haven't yet.

03:15:04.000 I don't think you will.

03:15:05.000 I got something right here.

03:15:06.000 You want to see it?

03:15:07.000 No, I don't.

03:15:08.000 What's in there?

03:15:09.000 Mushrooms.

03:15:10.000 You can eat aliens.

03:15:11.000 You just got to take the right dose.

03:15:13.000 I always said, if I ever do smoke weed, I'm going to smoke weed my first time with Joe Rubin.

03:15:18.000 How do you not want to smoke weed?

03:15:20.000 Huh?

03:15:20.000 Aren't you curious?

03:15:21.000 Oh, of course.

03:15:22.000 What are you scared of?

03:15:23.000 Nothing.

03:15:24.000 So why don't you do it?

03:15:25.000 Well, I said if I ever smoke weed, I'll smoke it for the first time with Joe Rogan.

03:15:29.000 Just not on air.

03:15:30.000 I'm not Elon Musk or anything.

03:15:31.000 I'm not scared of it at all.

03:15:33.000 Not interested?

03:15:35.000 Not curious?

03:15:36.000 I mean, the curiosity does not knock on the door every day and go, oh my God, you guys smoke weed.

03:15:42.000 We should just set a date aside three years from now.

03:15:44.000 Think about it for three years.

03:15:45.000 No, I've already decided I'm going to do it.

03:15:47.000 Okay, when?

03:15:48.000 Huh?

03:15:48.000 Next week?

03:15:49.000 Next week?

03:15:50.000 It will be with you.

03:15:51.000 Shut the camera off?

03:15:52.000 Shut the camera off.

03:15:53.000 No, you gotta drive home.

03:15:54.000 Yeah, I gotta drive home.

03:15:55.000 I don't wanna do that.

03:15:55.000 Another day.

03:15:56.000 Another day.

03:15:57.000 100%.

03:15:57.000 Okay.

03:15:58.000 100%.

03:15:58.000 Maybe we'll do it and we'll meet aliens.

03:16:03.000 You and aliens, man.

03:16:05.000 This whole alien thing.

03:16:08.000 Aliens.

03:16:08.000 They're going to visit you tonight.

03:16:09.000 No, they're not.

03:16:11.000 You know what?

03:16:12.000 I can guarantee you, Joe, nobody's coming tonight.

03:16:15.000 They're going to get them now. 1.00

03:16:17.000 This motherfucker needs a lesson in humility. 1.00

03:16:20.000 Humility from space. 1.00

03:16:22.000 You see this?

03:16:23.000 Oh, last question.

03:16:24.000 Who's going to win?

03:16:25.000 Bernie Sanders or Trump? 0.96

03:16:27.000 You know how everybody thought that Donald Trump's fucked and that Hillary Clinton was going to beat him and that no one was concerned? 0.98

03:16:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:16:36.000 All these people like, he doesn't have a chance. 0.99

03:16:38.000 Hillary's going to be the winner. 1.00

03:16:39.000 Hillary's going to be the winner. 1.00

03:16:40.000 That same shit could be going on with Bernie Sanders and Trump. 0.99

03:16:43.000 And people got to be real careful about that. 0.99

03:16:45.000 These people that think that Bernie Sanders can't win.

03:16:47.000 I don't think you understand what's going on in this country.

03:16:49.000 People are fed up with the system.

03:16:51.000 They're fed up with...

03:16:54.000 This idea that they work so hard and they give their money up to politicians and the politicians don't really work for the people.

03:17:01.000 They don't.

03:17:02.000 They don't.

03:17:02.000 Can I tell you the most annoying thing a politician says?

03:17:06.000 Well, you know, I speak for the American people.

03:17:08.000 I'm like, no, you don't.

03:17:09.000 No, you don't.

03:17:09.000 No, no, not at all.

03:17:10.000 You can't.

03:17:11.000 Because there's not a single human that can speak for all the American people.

03:17:14.000 No, I hate that.

03:17:14.000 But you could look out for the interests of the American people.

03:17:17.000 And I think Bernie Sanders definitely does do that.

03:17:20.000 I think he's looking out for the interests of the working people.

03:17:22.000 And I think he wants people to have a better life and do better.

03:17:25.000 And I'm all for that.

03:17:26.000 And if that means I have to pay more in time, people think, oh, you're a socialist.

03:17:29.000 I've heard people say that. 1.00

03:17:30.000 Oh, you're a fucking socialist, bro. 1.00

03:17:32.000 Like, first of all, he's not even a socialist. 1.00

03:17:34.000 He's a democratic socialist.

03:17:35.000 It's a different thing.

03:17:37.000 He's not like everyone should have the even amount of money and we should all give up our money to the institution and then the institution should decide how it gets divided and you shouldn't be able to make more than X amount of dollars.

03:17:49.000 That's not what he's saying.

03:17:50.000 What he's saying is it should work for the people.

03:17:52.000 And what he's saying is people should have health care.

03:17:54.000 What he's saying is there's a lot of things that are already socialist ideals that we use.

03:17:59.000 We just forgot about it.

03:18:00.000 Like the fire department.

03:18:02.000 Yep.

03:18:02.000 The fire department.

03:18:03.000 You don't have a private fire department that puts out your fire.

03:18:06.000 We pay for the fire department.

03:18:08.000 It comes out of our taxes.

03:18:09.000 It pays those very brave men and women, and then they come and they put out your fire.

03:18:13.000 That's a socialist idea.

03:18:14.000 Public schools are a socialist idea.

03:18:16.000 Police are a socialist idea.

03:18:18.000 Fixing of the roads.

03:18:19.000 There's a lot of things that your money goes to.

03:18:21.000 The idea that we can't extend that, and to have a better life because of it, and to have Free healthcare and free college education and to eliminate student debt.

03:18:34.000 I don't know that that's incorrect.

03:18:36.000 I don't know that he's wrong.

03:18:38.000 Yeah, I just think it's a thing where our government, to me, and I'm no expert, but it seems like they throw so much money away.

03:18:45.000 Why not, if you're going to throw it away, do something good with it?

03:18:49.000 Well, they wouldn't be throwing it away, then.

03:18:50.000 That would be actually doing something good with it.

03:18:53.000 He's got crazy ideas, and if they're right, it's revolutionary.

03:18:57.000 And that's what he thinks.

03:18:58.000 He thinks he can enact revolutionary change.

03:19:01.000 But it's free healthcare revolutionary when pretty much the whole world has it.

03:19:05.000 It's revolutionary for us.

03:19:07.000 It's us, yeah.

03:19:09.000 Because it's going to take out the drug companies, and there's a lot of money.

03:19:12.000 A lot of money.

03:19:13.000 That's a big problem.

03:19:14.000 That's one of our biggest problems, is the amount of influence that not just the drug companies have, but a lot of industry has on the way politicians decide how to spend your money.

03:19:25.000 Yeah.

03:19:25.000 And that's what he says.

03:19:27.000 That's one of the things he's saying that makes people scared.

03:19:29.000 And that's why the Democrats are scared of him, too, because they're all getting paid as well.

03:19:34.000 It's not like this is a Republican thing only.

03:19:36.000 This is an established...

03:19:52.000 It's an institution thing.

03:19:56.000 You know, even can play in our politics by being on every five minutes.

03:20:01.000 Yeah.

03:20:02.000 He's not going to win.

03:20:03.000 He's blowing all our cash.

03:20:04.000 No, he's not going to win.

03:20:05.000 It's going to be a tax write-off for him.

03:20:07.000 Jamie, what were you telling me about people getting paid to say things for him?

03:20:10.000 I was just spending lots of money on the people posting online, like the memes and making all sorts of accounts.

03:20:17.000 They went after all of the, I don't know, top, but Instagram accounts, like the...

03:20:23.000 Influencers?

03:20:24.000 Meme accounts, really.

03:20:25.000 Oh, really?

03:20:25.000 Offer the money?

03:20:26.000 Strategy, yeah.

03:20:27.000 Give them some money, like, hey, what would we do to post this?

03:20:30.000 And they all end up posting the conversation instead of what they were asking to post, which that was the strategy.

03:20:35.000 It's like these weird strategies.

03:20:36.000 They have think tanks spending millions of dollars to get that done, thinking it's going to create a 13%.

03:20:42.000 You know what I do like about Bernie Sanders?

03:20:44.000 He's the exact...

03:20:46.000 Now, don't take this wrong.

03:20:47.000 The exact same energy and vibe that Trump has.

03:20:52.000 Loud.

03:20:53.000 He says it like it is to him, whatever his thoughts are.

03:20:56.000 So really, if they go against each other, it's almost the same person.

03:21:01.000 I'm not talking policies at all.

03:21:02.000 I'm just saying this characteristics.

03:21:05.000 You know, where Bernie's not going to back down from Trump.

03:21:08.000 And Trump's not going to back down against Bernie.

03:21:10.000 And all these people going, well, I don't know if Bernie's electable.

03:21:13.000 It's like There are no rules anymore.

03:21:15.000 Can we just say...

03:21:16.000 The idea of him not being electable is ridiculous if he's won three primaries in a row.

03:21:19.000 That's what I'm saying.

03:21:20.000 Yeah. 0.98

03:21:20.000 It's just ridiculous. 0.98

03:21:22.000 I'm just waiting to see how it plays out. 0.89

03:21:24.000 I'm the one where it's like, you know, let's just see...

03:21:27.000 I want to see who the Democratic person is and then we all got to roll with him if you're on that side.

03:21:32.000 I think it's Bernie.

03:21:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:21:34.000 I think it's going to be Bernie unless he has a heart attack and the CIA gets him with that fucking injection. 1.00

03:21:38.000 Well, you know what it is? 1.00

03:21:39.000 It's not about Bernie.

03:21:41.000 It's if he becomes president...

03:21:42.000 Who's the vice president?

03:21:44.000 Because Bernie's old.

03:21:46.000 And I'm not wishing anything ill, but that vice president pick is very important, especially after the Hart thing.

03:21:52.000 It's very important.

03:21:53.000 And a lot of people are saying, he should get Elizabeth Warren.

03:21:57.000 Because his age in the heart- I think she's more dangerous than she is useful.

03:22:02.000 Okay.

03:22:02.000 I don't know her that well.

03:22:03.000 I think a lot of people don't trust her after that whole Pocahontas shit. 1.00

03:22:06.000 The Indian stuff where she said she was Native American and it turns out she's like one one hundredth of a percent or whatever the fuck it is. 0.99

03:22:12.000 But is that- It's also she was a Republican for most of her career and then she churned over and became a Democrat. 0.99

03:22:18.000 Maybe.

03:22:19.000 Maybe she would get the women on their side. 1.00

03:22:21.000 But she's also an established Democrat.

03:22:24.000 That takes money.

03:22:25.000 I think it would be more likely that he would get someone that we haven't heard of.

03:22:29.000 Okay.

03:22:29.000 Well, it's very important.

03:22:32.000 His vice president.

03:22:34.000 Because I'm just saying.

03:22:35.000 You remember Mike Pence? 0.98

03:22:36.000 Nobody knew who the fuck Mike Pence was before Donald Trump made him our vice president. 0.99

03:22:40.000 You go on the street and ask people who the vice president is. 0.99

03:22:42.000 99% of them are going to go, oh, I don't know.

03:22:45.000 Yeah.

03:22:45.000 Most people don't know who Mike Pence is.

03:22:47.000 Yeah.

03:22:47.000 Right?

03:22:47.000 I think the real battle is Bernie and Trump.

03:22:50.000 That's the real battle.

03:22:51.000 No, no, no.

03:22:51.000 I got you.

03:22:52.000 And I don't think the vice president is going to move the election, but I'm saying- Because he's old.

03:22:56.000 Because he's old.

03:22:57.000 Had the heart problem.

03:22:58.000 Yeah.

03:22:58.000 You know, the vice president is more important than like an Obama vice president.

03:23:03.000 That's what I'm saying.

03:23:03.000 I think Tulsi Gabbard makes the most sense because she's also like him.

03:23:06.000 She doesn't accept money. 0.99

03:23:07.000 It's the same sort of renegade philosophy.

03:23:12.000 Yeah.

03:23:12.000 You know, slightly different politics, but, you know, I think he has a lot of options.

03:23:17.000 He's probably looking at them right now, especially if he keeps winning.

03:23:20.000 He's like that Joe Rogan.

03:23:21.000 Let's bring him up.

03:23:22.000 No chance.

03:23:23.000 No chance.

03:23:24.000 After he wins, when you go to White House, just bring your boy right here because I want to go to White House with you.

03:23:30.000 I don't think he'll have me after the last brouhaha after he put that video up and everybody got upset.

03:23:37.000 Oh, he'll have you. 0.98

03:23:38.000 I think what's going to happen is we're going to see that regular politics, the way they've been practiced for all these years in this country with these two bullshit choices, are going to go away. 0.96

03:23:52.000 And I think it's going to be harder and harder for established people, whether it's Republican or Democrat, to keep doing that song and dance and having people buy it. 0.93

03:24:00.000 And that's a good thing.

03:24:01.000 That's a good thing.

03:24:02.000 That's a good thing.

03:24:03.000 Let's wrap it up, Michael Yeo.

03:24:04.000 Michael Yeo, ladies and gentlemen, on Instagram.

03:24:07.000 Don't pay attention to his Gotham, because it's not 6th and the 7th.

03:24:10.000 It's actually 7th and the 8th.

03:24:12.000 Yes.

03:24:12.000 Where else are you going to be?

03:24:13.000 Where people go?

03:24:14.000 MichaelYeo.com?

03:24:15.000 MichaelYeo.com has all my tour dates, but, you know...

03:24:18.000 Instagram.

03:24:19.000 Instagram at Michael Yeo.

03:24:20.000 Twitter at Michael Yeo.

03:24:21.000 Facebook at Michael Yeo.

03:24:22.000 But Gotham is the main thing.

03:24:23.000 Come on out.

03:24:24.000 Come on out.

03:24:24.000 Alright, my brother.

03:24:25.000 Thank you very much.

03:24:26.000 Always a pleasure.

03:24:27.000 Bye, everybody.

03:24:29.000 That was great.

03:24:29.000 Dude.

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 27, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1433 - Michael Yo

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Transcript