The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1438 - Andrew Santino

00:00:06.000 You know who else carves guns like that?

00:00:08.000 Who does?

00:00:09.000 Jesse James.

00:00:09.000 Remember Jesse James, that chopper maker dude?

00:00:12.000 Yeah, that dude makes guns now in Texas. 0.69

00:00:16.000 That's all he does?

00:00:16.000 He's still making bikes.

00:00:17.000 I think he makes bikes too, but he makes a lot of guns, like dope guns, like engraved and crossed.

00:00:22.000 And hand carves them? 0.93

00:00:23.000 Yeah.

00:00:24.000 Fancy, fancy guns.

00:00:25.000 Yeah, the dude that we were talking about, I think he's an L.A. guy, but he hand-does them.

00:00:30.000 He's a Mexican gentleman, you're saying?

00:00:31.000 Mexican dude, a Mexican man.

00:00:33.000 Carves into the guns?

00:00:34.000 Yeah, and he does beautiful artwork, all hand-designed, and then people pay him to do his design.

00:00:39.000 They don't say, like, here's what I want.

00:00:41.000 The whole deal is, you give him the gun, and he just does it.

00:00:44.000 It's not like, I want this on here.

00:00:47.000 He's like, no, no, no.

00:00:48.000 You give me the piece, I do the art, I give it back.

00:00:50.000 You know what's interesting about Bernie Sanders?

00:00:52.000 What is this?

00:00:53.000 Is this the guy with the guns?

00:00:54.000 That's it, yeah.

00:00:54.000 Let me see what this looks like.

00:00:55.000 I was going to say what's interesting about Bernie Sanders is his real close relationship with Killer Mike.

00:01:01.000 Killer Mike is a big pro-Second Amendment man.

00:01:04.000 I mean, he believes in guns.

00:01:05.000 He believes you should be able to protect yourself and protect your family.

00:01:08.000 And what?

00:01:09.000 And Bernie's so against it?

00:01:11.000 Well, I don't know if Bernie's so against it because he talks to Killer Mike and they don't scream and yell at each other. 0.67

00:01:17.000 Kill a mic. 1.00

00:01:19.000 In Vermont? 0.99

00:01:20.000 We don't need guns.

00:01:21.000 I don't think we need guns in the Northeast.

00:01:23.000 How did he do yesterday?

00:01:24.000 He won Vermont, California, Colorado, Utah, and is that it?

00:01:28.000 And then Biden.

00:01:29.000 Biden's still in the lead, right?

00:01:30.000 Is Biden number one now?

00:01:33.000 I think he's ahead 435 to 381 as of right now.

00:01:39.000 That's pretty good.

00:01:39.000 Elizabeth, let me tell you something.

00:01:42.000 I worry about both of them because they're older gentlemen, but I worry about Biden more.

00:01:46.000 He looks like he's It's almost like his skin is thin. 0.94

00:01:51.000 Well, I think his brain seems to be skipping.

00:01:54.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:01:54.000 It's almost like an old scratch DVD. Well, you gotta realize, he's fucking tired.

00:01:58.000 Dude, forget about just being old. 0.99

00:02:01.000 Doing the pace that he's doing is fucking crazy. 0.99

00:02:04.000 He's gotta get on that Trump speed. 0.99

00:02:11.000 I'm on poppers again. 1.00

00:02:12.000 He's got the best shit, and he's already ranking on them. 1.00

00:02:16.000 It's already hilarious. 1.00

00:02:17.000 You see what he did for Mike Bloomberg?

00:02:18.000 He hit under the podium.

00:02:20.000 He pretended he was Mike Bloomberg.

00:02:21.000 Tiny Mike, yeah.

00:02:21.000 He's like, that guy's not going to be able to see over the podium.

00:02:23.000 He goes behind the podium, and then he's calling him Sleepy Joe.

00:02:26.000 He's doing stand-up. 0.99

00:02:27.000 I say it on stage, he fucking rips. 0.99

00:02:29.000 Did you see the clip from the other day where he's like, is this guy Mexican? 1.00

00:02:32.000 He says he's Mexican.

00:02:33.000 You really Mexican? 0.84

00:02:34.000 He's Mexican.

00:02:35.000 He goes, he's Mexican like I'm Native American.

00:02:37.000 I'm Elizabeth Warren.

00:02:38.000 Dude, he was ripping.

00:02:39.000 And they were losing it.

00:02:41.000 He rips.

00:02:41.000 Dude, he's funny.

00:02:42.000 He's funny. 1.00

00:02:43.000 He says funny shit. 1.00

00:02:44.000 We were talking about this yesterday. 1.00

00:02:45.000 He's got a lifetime experience of being in front of the camera.

00:02:48.000 He knows how to do it.

00:02:49.000 He's a showman.

00:02:50.000 Well, it's like everything else, like podcasts or stand-up or I would imagine any kind of public speaking.

00:02:55.000 The more you do it, the better you get at it.

00:02:57.000 The more you realize your mistakes, the more you tighten up your game, the more practice you get.

00:03:02.000 And he gets a lot of practice.

00:03:03.000 I mean, he's doing public speaking all the time.

00:03:05.000 And when he gets to do something where they're all on his side, it's probably fun.

00:03:09.000 Like those things he does when they're all on his side, those are good times.

00:03:13.000 That's like you ripping an arena.

00:03:14.000 That's basically what it is.

00:03:15.000 They're all there to see you.

00:03:16.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:03:18.000 He's not playing a club, he's playing a fucking sold-out arena that are like, bring out Trump! 0.96

00:03:22.000 If he brought other guys to do 10 in front of him, you know, to hype him up and shit, bring Jared and- I'll tell you what, once he's out of the White House, he's gonna be more popular than ever. 0.99

00:03:31.000 100. He's going to be a hero.

00:03:33.000 Because let me tell you something, people forget this, but they didn't like Ronald Reagan when he was in office.

00:03:39.000 George Bush.

00:03:39.000 Well, but Reagan is a big one, though, because Reagan became like this hero afterwards, but during the whole Iran-Contra thing, when he was going on television, say he doesn't remember, do you know what Jimmy Tingle is?

00:03:50.000 Uh-uh.

00:03:50.000 Great stand-up comic from Boston, but he had a joke, I remember, I was an open-miker, this was back in the 80s, when Reagan was brought in front of whoever, was it Congress that he was talking about selling guns to Iran?

00:04:04.000 When he did it, he would say, I don't remember.

00:04:07.000 That's what Reagan was saying.

00:04:08.000 And he might not, because he really did have Alzheimer's, remember?

00:04:12.000 So Jimmy Tingle goes, Mr. President, here's a little tip.

00:04:17.000 If you ever sell guns to someone who hates us, jot it down.

00:04:26.000 Write it down.

00:04:28.000 Make a little note.

00:04:28.000 Put it on the refrigerator.

00:04:31.000 Yeah, and he got love.

00:04:31.000 It's such a simple joke.

00:04:32.000 I got a clip of it.

00:04:33.000 Yeah, let's hear it.

00:04:34.000 Let me hear it.

00:04:36.000 I have no recollection of doing so.

00:04:39.000 Okay.

00:04:40.000 But that could be my memory.

00:04:42.000 I don't remember.

00:04:43.000 Well, as you sit here now, do you have any recollection of approving for John Poindexter to send these specific letters to Congress?

00:04:50.000 Well, again, it's a case of memory.

00:04:52.000 I don't recall whether he did or not.

00:04:56.000 And my question to you is, would you have approved the sending of these letters to Congress by John Poindexter if you knew that they adopted false information that had been previously supplied?

00:05:09.000 That's crazy.

00:05:10.000 That's a problem too, there's so much rhetoric involved, I don't even know what that question was.

00:05:14.000 They pile on all these things and then you go, I don't know, I have no idea what you're saying, what are you asking me?

00:05:18.000 Right, there's so much legalese.

00:05:20.000 Right, at some point he does seem trapped in too many questions.

00:05:23.000 It's kind of like, I watched that clip of Betsy DeVos, And that Wisconsin senator going at it about how she doesn't know the numbers for charter schools.

00:05:32.000 I don't know if you've seen this, but she's unaware of the numbers presented of how many charter schools fail.

00:05:37.000 But he's throwing so many statistics at her.

00:05:40.000 How could you even keep up?

00:05:41.000 I mean, she does sound like a bumbling dumbo, but you just bury someone with stats. 1.00

00:05:46.000 They're going to go...

00:05:48.000 I don't...

00:05:48.000 Right.

00:05:49.000 How do I... Where am I... I don't even know which one you want me to address, and I don't have any information in front of me to fight it.

00:05:54.000 So when they do that sometimes to politicians, I'm always like, of course they're going to drown.

00:05:57.000 How could he fight out of that?

00:05:59.000 Yeah, clearly that's like a combat strategy.

00:06:01.000 Unless you're Trump, and then you just...

00:06:02.000 He diverts.

00:06:03.000 He's so good at...

00:06:04.000 He'll take in all that stuff, and then he'll go...

00:06:05.000 Well, he's never been in this kind of a situation where he had to answer questions in a court.

00:06:10.000 Not yet.

00:06:10.000 That would be interesting if he did.

00:06:11.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99

00:06:12.000 I think he'd probably get in trouble, because a lot of his stuff is like... 1.00

00:06:17.000 Shutting things down and he could get out of order.

00:06:20.000 But my point is, we both know.

00:06:22.000 Even if someone's good at that, if they do that and they hit you with a bunch of stats and fucks you up so hard you can't answer their original question and you're supposed to be grilling them.

00:06:31.000 We know what you're doing.

00:06:32.000 You're not communicating in a way that you are actually trying to communicate with the person.

00:06:37.000 You're playing verbal warfare.

00:06:39.000 You're fighting.

00:06:40.000 You're trying to back them up on their heels and smother their reach and get them in a corner and pound on them.

00:06:46.000 That's what you're doing.

00:06:46.000 You're overwhelming them with a barrage of information, just like you would overwhelm someone with a barrage of punches.

00:06:51.000 It's the same thing.

00:06:52.000 When you see their weakness, you're like...

00:06:54.000 It's not even a hidden thing because you're not supposed to be doing that.

00:06:55.000 You're supposed to be having an exchange.

00:06:57.000 You're supposed to be talking to each other.

00:06:59.000 You're supposed to be someone getting to the bottom of it.

00:07:02.000 But we know that he doesn't want to tell the truth.

00:07:04.000 He doesn't want to go, yes, I did sell guns to Iran.

00:07:07.000 I sold guns.

00:07:09.000 And I sold cocaine in the inner cities of Los Angeles because I was trying to...

00:07:13.000 Crack, crack, crack.

00:07:14.000 Yeah, crack.

00:07:14.000 I induced crack into the streets.

00:07:16.000 I mean, all that stuff really did happen.

00:07:19.000 Yeah.

00:07:19.000 That's not a conspiracy theory anymore.

00:07:22.000 No.

00:07:22.000 The CIA, or whoever was working for the CIA, sold drugs in the inner cities, was brought in through Freeway Ricky, who's the original Rick Ross.

00:07:31.000 The real Rick Ross.

00:07:32.000 The real Rick Ross.

00:07:33.000 Didn't even know what he was doing while he was doing it.

00:07:35.000 And then after it was over, these guys didn't figure it out until long past that they were working with the government.

00:07:43.000 Rick Ross had no idea.

00:07:44.000 He had no idea.

00:07:45.000 He just thought he was awesome at selling coke.

00:07:46.000 He didn't know he was completely protected.

00:07:49.000 Yeah, but that's kind of...

00:07:50.000 Did you watch The Pharmacist?

00:07:51.000 I shouldn't say completely protected, but I should say that he was in bed with the government.

00:07:56.000 Right.

00:07:56.000 Did you watch them, The Pharmacist?

00:07:57.000 No.

00:07:57.000 What is that?

00:07:58.000 That's all about the distribution of OxyContin, specifically what it's done to the East Coast.

00:08:06.000 This kind of started in New Orleans.

00:08:07.000 The documentary is all about it, but up there, how it got really bad.

00:08:10.000 This pharmacist basically...

00:08:14.000 Yeah.

00:08:31.000 It was just, they weren't orchestrating this thing to try to solve people's pain.

00:08:36.000 All the documents and emails are just like, these are big hitter areas.

00:08:40.000 Meaning like, sell, sell, sell. 0.97

00:08:41.000 So all these sales reps were going out pushing, you know, like they're fucking, like they're trying to sell cars. 0.99

00:08:47.000 I mean, they were selling them like candy. 0.99

00:08:49.000 It was crazy.

00:08:49.000 I mean, the government was totally okay with it.

00:08:52.000 I mean, the FDA didn't have anything against it for a long time.

00:08:54.000 They were like, oh, they're solving pain.

00:08:56.000 So much money.

00:08:56.000 The money involved is staggering.

00:08:57.000 It's hard for us to even understand how much money is coming in from pills, just from pills.

00:09:02.000 And here's the thing about prescribing them.

00:09:04.000 This is, let's be honest, everyone's in pain.

00:09:06.000 Yeah.

00:09:07.000 It's part of being a person.

00:09:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:09:09.000 Especially if you're an older person that's maybe got a difficult job, like you have to carry things and move things around that are heavy, you're in fucking pain. 0.99

00:09:15.000 You got back problems. 0.99

00:09:16.000 Everybody has back problems. 0.99

00:09:18.000 So you go to these people with back problems, they're like, I got a fucking solution. 0.99

00:09:21.000 This is the fix. 1.00

00:09:22.000 This is the fucking fix. 1.00

00:09:23.000 It's soul poison. 1.00

00:09:24.000 Once you get hooked on soul poison.

00:09:27.000 Well, and then what happens is these doctors, this woman, Jacqueline Cleggett, that's who the documentary focuses on, she's running a pill mill, right?

00:09:34.000 So, like, she's writing 70, 80 prescriptions a day, and you get all these doctors on there that are like, that's impossible. 0.93

00:09:40.000 To see 70 people is not—you couldn't do it even if you were fucking— How could you see 70 people in a day? 0.94

00:09:45.000 It's impossible. 1.00

00:09:46.000 That bitch is flagrant. 1.00

00:09:47.000 So she was making unbelievable money. 1.00

00:09:50.000 Bro, stop it.

00:09:51.000 Let's break this down by the minute.

00:09:52.000 Yeah.

00:09:54.000 70 a day.

00:09:54.000 There's eight hours in a day.

00:09:56.000 Yeah.

00:09:56.000 She said 70 to 80. Let's get crazy and say it's 80. Right.

00:10:00.000 So there's eight hours in a day.

00:10:01.000 So she's seen 10 people in an hour?

00:10:03.000 In an hour.

00:10:04.000 Yeah, 10 people in an hour.

00:10:05.000 Each hour.

00:10:05.000 Not counting lunch.

00:10:06.000 No coffee breaks.

00:10:07.000 There is no lunch.

00:10:07.000 No.

00:10:07.000 If you have to shit, hold it in.

00:10:09.000 We're here to make money, baby. 1.00

00:10:13.000 No bathroom breaks.

00:10:14.000 Let's go!

00:10:14.000 Well, she was operating at night.

00:10:16.000 That was the whole thing.

00:10:16.000 And this whole investigation was about she would have a New Orleans cop in her lobby to make sure that nobody was trying to bust her.

00:10:25.000 Strong armor.

00:10:25.000 Yeah, she paid off the cops.

00:10:27.000 It was crazy.

00:10:27.000 And they got no trouble.

00:10:29.000 You pay security detail money for cops.

00:10:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:32.000 Yeah, the cops are happy.

00:10:33.000 We're all working together.

00:10:34.000 Yeah, and the cops are like, what do you mean?

00:10:35.000 I'm just protecting the front.

00:10:36.000 And the cops mind, hey, he's not breaking the law.

00:10:38.000 No, he's not.

00:10:39.000 He knows what's going on in the back because he's probably getting chipped off a few.

00:10:42.000 The law is very sketchy.

00:10:44.000 It was really sketchy back in the day.

00:10:46.000 Did you ever see, who did it?

00:10:48.000 Who made OxyContin Express?

00:10:53.000 What was the company behind that?

00:10:55.000 I don't know.

00:10:56.000 See if you can find that.

00:10:57.000 Is that a movie?

00:10:58.000 Oh, it was a made-for-television thing.

00:11:01.000 A PBS thing?

00:11:01.000 That showed an investigative report.

00:11:04.000 I'll get you the people who were in it, too.

00:11:06.000 Vanguard.

00:11:06.000 Vanguard did it, but who's the woman and the man behind it?

00:11:09.000 Mariana Venzeller.

00:11:13.000 Put it up so I could see it, so I could say it, because they were on the podcast, they were really cool, way back in the day.

00:11:18.000 Yeah, Marianna Van Zeller, and wasn't her husband involved in this as well?

00:11:23.000 I think so.

00:11:25.000 Anyway, awesome documentary that detailed what was going on down there.

00:11:29.000 In Florida, they didn't have a database.

00:11:31.000 So, if you went to me, and I was a doctor, and you're like, my back hurts.

00:11:35.000 I'm like, you need drugs.

00:11:36.000 And I gave you OxyContin.

00:11:37.000 You're like, thanks, bro.

00:11:38.000 And then you go over to Jamie.

00:11:39.000 And you go to Dr. Jamie.

00:11:40.000 Hey, my back hurts.

00:11:41.000 He goes, you need OxyContin.

00:11:42.000 He goes, thanks, bro.

00:11:43.000 And he gives it to you, and then you just keep going.

00:11:45.000 And so they would go to 10, 20, 30 different doctors, and they have this thing called pain management centers.

00:11:50.000 You go to a pain management center, you see some soulless doctor sitting there just writing out scripts.

00:11:55.000 And the only thing they write scripts for is Oxycontins and painkillers, and then they go right next door to the pharmacy.

00:12:01.000 It's in the same thing.

00:12:02.000 One door is here, one door is here.

00:12:04.000 You go right next door and you get your drugs, like in the same building.

00:12:07.000 It's a one-stop shop for drugs.

00:12:09.000 And there's no computer system to check, so you just keep doing it.

00:12:12.000 And look, everybody who does drugs, does drugs for a reason, right?

00:12:15.000 Whether you do real heroin, whether you do coke, like you're doing drugs because, I mean, it might not be a reason that makes sense to you, but they want to do those drugs, right?

00:12:23.000 You can come up with reasons why you want to take painkillers.

00:12:27.000 Yeah.

00:12:27.000 Almost anyone.

00:12:28.000 Everything.

00:12:29.000 People are always in pain.

00:12:31.000 My shoulder hurts.

00:12:32.000 Well, this is my, don't, you know, take half one of these.

00:12:34.000 Half.

00:12:35.000 Yeah.

00:12:35.000 Got it.

00:12:36.000 I'll take half now and half right after it.

00:12:37.000 It's just crazy how many of them there are.

00:12:39.000 If you looked at the actual numbers of prescriptions that are written every year in this country, it's like, what are you talking about?

00:12:44.000 Have you ever taken anything?

00:12:45.000 No, not that stuff.

00:12:46.000 I did a morphine drip once, though, when I was in the hospital for my knee reconstruction in, like, 93. Dude, it was awesome.

00:12:56.000 I was laying there.

00:12:57.000 I was hitting that button.

00:12:58.000 Bang! 1.00

00:12:58.000 And I was on a continual motion machine. 1.00

00:13:01.000 I had a patella tendon graft, which means they'd cut a piece out of your bone of your kneecap and a piece of bone out of your shin and connect it to a strip of your patella tendon.

00:13:10.000 Then they open you up like a fish and they screw this in on one bone and screw that on another bone.

00:13:15.000 They reconstruct you a new ACL. It's awesome.

00:13:17.000 It works great today.

00:13:18.000 To this day, I throw kicks with it or run with it.

00:13:20.000 No problem.

00:13:20.000 And you were floating on it.

00:13:21.000 I'm on the clouds.

00:13:22.000 Oh my god.

00:13:22.000 So I'm on this machine that keeps your leg moving after so it doesn't stiffen up.

00:13:26.000 So the blood doesn't clot and stuff.

00:13:27.000 So this machine's moving like this. 0.99

00:13:29.000 And this fucking drip. 0.99

00:13:31.000 I'm hitting this drip hard. 1.00

00:13:33.000 Ba-bang. 0.82

00:13:34.000 Ba-ba-bang. 0.94

00:13:35.000 Ba-bang. 0.82

00:13:35.000 It's like a warm hug. 0.82

00:13:37.000 When I was lying there, I was like, I get it.

00:13:39.000 The only time I've experienced that very similar was when the old NyQuil was available.

00:13:44.000 The real codeine-filled NyQuil. 0.98

00:13:47.000 Yeah, when it fucked you up. 0.99

00:13:49.000 I'd be high the next morning. 0.94

00:13:50.000 I was so high.

00:13:51.000 I was lying in my bed.

00:13:52.000 I felt so good.

00:13:54.000 I felt so loved.

00:13:55.000 I felt so much better.

00:13:59.000 It's like before the drugs, I was miserable.

00:14:01.000 I had the flu. 1.00

00:14:02.000 I felt like shit. 0.98

00:14:02.000 But then as soon as I took that stuff, I was like, I feel loved. 0.98

00:14:06.000 I feel like I'm just like floating in softness.

00:14:10.000 I'm like...

00:14:11.000 I get it.

00:14:12.000 I get why people need that.

00:14:13.000 I'm the opposite, man. 0.95

00:14:14.000 I fucking, I tore ligaments in my leg and I took, they gave me Vicodin and it had an adverse effect. 0.98

00:14:20.000 It was so bad. 0.99

00:14:21.000 I had to go back to the doctor and I was like, it's giving me crazy anxiety.

00:14:23.000 I couldn't sleep and I ate and I was eating a few of them to try to kill the pain.

00:14:26.000 The pain would get worse.

00:14:28.000 And the guy was like, maybe you, maybe Vicodin and you don't mix. 1.00

00:14:30.000 But it fucked and it made my, it made me angry. 1.00

00:14:32.000 I was going through these like really, like night tremor spells and shit. 1.00

00:14:36.000 I was like, this stuff is, I couldn't do, I never touched it again. 0.93

00:14:38.000 Some people love that stuff.

00:14:39.000 Vicodin? 1.00

00:14:40.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:14:40.000 I had a friend of mine, he used to take Vicodins and play guitar. 1.00

00:14:42.000 He said it made him really creative.

00:14:44.000 Really?

00:14:45.000 Really?

00:14:45.000 I think I took either Vicodin or Percocet, I can't remember, after that first knee surgery.

00:14:51.000 But I only took it once because it made me so stupid. 0.99

00:14:54.000 I remember it dulled the pain a little bit, but I was so dumb, man. 1.00

00:14:57.000 Well, yeah, you're foggy. 0.99

00:14:58.000 I was just half out of it. 0.99

00:14:59.000 Yeah, your brain is not full. 0.78

00:15:00.000 I'd rather be in pain. 1.00

00:15:02.000 Like, this is stupid. 1.00

00:15:02.000 I can't even enjoy a television show. 1.00

00:15:04.000 I don't know what the fuck is going on. 0.99

00:15:05.000 I'm laying in my apartment. 1.00

00:15:06.000 I can't even watch TV because I'm so stupid. 1.00

00:15:08.000 Yeah, I hate that shit. 1.00

00:15:09.000 That's the thing that I like. 1.00

00:15:10.000 And I think I have a high tolerance for medication.

00:15:14.000 And there's a weird...

00:15:15.000 Hey, hey, Joe, Joe, a functioning alcoholic.

00:15:20.000 You can look it up, though. 0.85

00:15:21.000 There's a thing about redheads. 1.00

00:15:22.000 Redheads have a gene where they have high pain tolerances and high tolerances to certain medicines. 1.00

00:15:28.000 And so every time I've ever taken stuff, nothing really works for me the way that it's supposed to.

00:15:34.000 You know what I mean?

00:15:34.000 People say all the time, like, oh, what do you just pop a couple of Advil?

00:15:37.000 Advil has never done anything for me my whole life. 0.94

00:15:39.000 If I could take three or four, it doesn't fucking mean. 0.60

00:15:41.000 You know when they give you those... 0.77

00:15:43.000 If you go to a doctor, if you've got some kind of thing, like a headache or whatever, and they give you those super Advils that triple the dose or whatever, I take those things and they're nothing.

00:15:51.000 So I end up throwing them away.

00:15:52.000 Why is it okay to discriminate against redheads? 1.00

00:15:54.000 It's one of the last fun things to discriminate against people that still actually hurts their feelings.

00:15:59.000 Because we're still white. 0.74

00:16:06.000 We still are white.

00:16:07.000 Deal with it.

00:16:08.000 They're like, he still has advantages.

00:16:09.000 Deal with it.

00:16:10.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:16:11.000 It's actually when I see a red-headed black guy, I'm like, oh, man, double down. 1.00

00:16:16.000 Jesus Christ. 0.90

00:16:16.000 I have seen red-headed people that are really good at taking punishment. 0.90

00:16:21.000 And I've always wondered.

00:16:23.000 I've read things about redheads having a higher tolerance for pain, too. 1.00

00:16:26.000 Yeah, they do.

00:16:27.000 That article he brought up, they showed about it.

00:16:28.000 It's something in...

00:16:32.000 I'm going to misquote it.

00:16:33.000 The MC1R gene belongs to a family of receptors that include pain receptors in the brain.

00:16:38.000 As a result, a mutation in the gene appears to influence the body's sensitivity to pain.

00:16:44.000 That makes sense. 0.93

00:16:44.000 There's so many Irish dudes who can take an insane beating. 0.93

00:16:47.000 Mm-hmm. 0.97

00:16:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:16:49.000 Mm-hmm.

00:16:50.000 And on top of that, just the toughness of the Irish people. 1.00

00:16:54.000 Oh, they're fucking their background just... 1.00

00:16:56.000 A redhead from Ireland with that MC1R gene. 1.00

00:17:00.000 Jesus Christ, you'd have to kill him. 1.00

00:17:01.000 MC1R sounds like a Mortal Kombat character. 1.00

00:17:04.000 MC1R! It does. 0.97

00:17:05.000 It sounds like a biker. 0.99

00:17:06.000 Like some sort of fucking ninja bike. 0.99

00:17:09.000 The mutation in the MC1R gene also occurs in brunettes, although it's less common. 0.98

00:17:14.000 In the latest study, the researchers tested for the MC1R gene variant, finding that in 65 of 67 redheads, holy shit, and in 20 of 77 people with brown or black hair.

00:17:25.000 That's interesting.

00:17:26.000 So it's like, what is that, like 30-something percent of people that are brown hair, but almost...

00:17:32.000 What is that, like 97%, 98%?

00:17:36.000 Almost 98%, 97%.

00:17:38.000 That's crazy. 0.95

00:17:39.000 So all redheads can take a beating. 1.00

00:17:42.000 Mentally and physically. 1.00

00:17:43.000 Oh, you can take a beating mentally too.

00:17:45.000 But that's to prepare you for life as a redhead. 1.00

00:17:46.000 Yeah, that's exactly. 0.99

00:17:47.000 God was like, this guy's going to get shitted on. 0.98

00:17:50.000 We better make it. 1.00

00:17:51.000 Bro, you have a mental turtle shell. 0.99

00:17:53.000 I do. 0.96

00:17:53.000 Yeah, I have a mental shell. 0.96

00:17:54.000 You just have to look.

00:17:55.000 I think every redhead I know... 1.00

00:17:59.000 has an attitude because of how you're treated as a kid.

00:18:02.000 Yeah.

00:18:02.000 But I've talked about this before.

00:18:04.000 People think that it's not a thing.

00:18:05.000 It's a thing.

00:18:06.000 If there's a room full of people, right, and a bunch of PC mongers or social justice warriors are in the room, everyone would be like, you can't say anything about him, can't say anything about her, about her.

00:18:16.000 If they got to a redhead, they'd be like, it's fine. 1.00

00:18:19.000 Yeah.

00:18:19.000 They can.

00:18:20.000 They're white.

00:18:21.000 That's not that big of a deal.

00:18:21.000 They're white.

00:18:22.000 They're still full white.

00:18:22.000 Like, imagine making fun of a handsome white man with blonde hair, would you?

00:18:29.000 Hitler's dream. 0.98

00:18:30.000 Yeah, probably Hitler's dream. 0.99

00:18:31.000 Hitler's dream. 0.98

00:18:31.000 Yeah, Hitler's come shot. 0.98

00:18:32.000 You can make fun of him that way.

00:18:34.000 But otherwise... 1.00

00:18:34.000 This Nazi motherfucker. 1.00

00:18:35.000 Like, you could easily... 1.00

00:18:36.000 And no one would feel bad.

00:18:39.000 Because it's perceived that they have all the advantages.

00:18:41.000 Yeah, even though...

00:18:42.000 What if they're, you know...

00:18:43.000 They're homeless and they're... 1.00

00:18:45.000 How about they're dumb? 1.00

00:18:47.000 That's the biggest disadvantage a person ever has. 1.00

00:18:49.000 Your brain doesn't work. 0.99

00:18:50.000 How many really handsome dummies do you know? 1.00

00:18:52.000 I mean, most. 1.00

00:18:53.000 Bro, I know a couple guys that are dream boats, but they're dumb as a rock. 0.99

00:18:56.000 They're so handsome. 0.99

00:18:58.000 They have just beautiful faces and perfect cheeks and they just look great.

00:19:02.000 He's not talking about you, Jamie.

00:19:04.000 Jamie raised his hand.

00:19:05.000 If I was a girl, I'd be so excited to meet those guys. 1.00

00:19:07.000 But part of me says, those poor bastards are at a disadvantage. 1.00

00:19:12.000 Because everything's so easy, right? 1.00

00:19:14.000 They're big, giant, handsome people. 0.99

00:19:16.000 Like, if you see a six-foot-tall, perfect man, do you know what kind of pussy David Hasselhoff must have been getting in the 80s? 0.99

00:19:22.000 Insane. 0.99

00:19:22.000 Are you kidding me? 0.99

00:19:23.000 Insane.

00:19:23.000 Can you imagine the girls were catapulting themselves in his direction?

00:19:27.000 Yeah.

00:19:28.000 It didn't matter if he was smart or not.

00:19:30.000 He was beautiful.

00:19:31.000 And he was really tall and classically handsome.

00:19:35.000 That's a giant advantage.

00:19:37.000 And if you have that giant advantage and you don't have to work hard to meet women, look at him.

00:19:41.000 Jesus Christ, what a dreamboat. 0.98

00:19:43.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

00:19:44.000 Look at that face. 0.99

00:19:45.000 He's beautiful.

00:19:46.000 Where's the naked one where he's on the rug?

00:19:48.000 That's the funny one, right?

00:19:49.000 He's a really nice guy, too.

00:19:50.000 He did an episode of Fear Factor.

00:19:52.000 Did he?

00:19:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:19:53.000 He did Celebrity Fear Factor.

00:19:55.000 This is what's great about back then, though.

00:19:56.000 You didn't have to have a great body.

00:19:58.000 At all.

00:19:58.000 Nobody had a six-pack.

00:20:00.000 No one had pecs unless you were a bodybuilder.

00:20:01.000 Yeah, look at him.

00:20:03.000 He looks like a guy who's maybe worked out three times.

00:20:06.000 Yeah, right.

00:20:07.000 He kind of knows where the gyms are.

00:20:09.000 Yeah.

00:20:10.000 Like when someone in a hotel goes, we have a gym, and he's like, I'll check it out, you know?

00:20:14.000 Hey, it looks good.

00:20:15.000 I love this Nautilus equipment.

00:20:17.000 Yeah, he was, uh, but my point being, like, that guy...

00:20:22.000 Look at that.

00:20:23.000 Look at that.

00:20:23.000 No muscle struggle.

00:20:25.000 Look at his fucking arms. 1.00

00:20:27.000 There's no muscle structure, dude. 1.00

00:20:30.000 That's crazy.

00:20:31.000 He didn't do much working out.

00:20:31.000 But you don't need to back then.

00:20:33.000 You could be like a Hollywood dude who didn't ever.

00:20:35.000 It's kind of like Leonardo DiCaprio might be the only guy who's that famous and good looking today that has a bad body. 1.00

00:20:42.000 His body is shit. 1.00

00:20:44.000 That dude has a shit body. 1.00

00:20:46.000 For a famous guy, dude, he has a dog shit body. 1.00

00:20:48.000 All the guys in his level are Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds. 1.00

00:20:52.000 All these dudes are jacked to shit. 1.00

00:20:54.000 Jacked. 1.00

00:20:55.000 Jack. 1.00

00:20:55.000 And you see Leonardo DiCaprio and you're like, this schlubby, Play-Doh-looking fucking body. 1.00

00:21:00.000 Dude, he's so good, though. 1.00

00:21:02.000 I know he's the pumpkin.

00:21:04.000 He gets everything.

00:21:04.000 He does whatever he wants.

00:21:05.000 But he's such a good actor.

00:21:07.000 He's so good.

00:21:07.000 He's one of my favorite of all time because he made movies back then that I loved and now that I like.

00:21:13.000 You can forget how good he is because he's so handsome.

00:21:15.000 You can forget.

00:21:17.000 But then you see a movie like, did you see?

00:21:18.000 Look at his body.

00:21:19.000 Perfect.

00:21:20.000 Perfect.

00:21:21.000 That's Burt Kreischer if he lost 100 pounds.

00:21:24.000 It's perfect.

00:21:25.000 It's a dumpy, regular dude's body.

00:21:26.000 He's built perfect.

00:21:27.000 And look, he's not trying to hide it.

00:21:28.000 No, it's awesome. 0.99

00:21:29.000 He's seven months pregnant, and he doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Just waddling around there on the beach with a cocaine baby inside his belly. 1.00

00:21:39.000 Leo in his second trimester. 1.00

00:21:40.000 He can do whatever the fuck he wants. 1.00

00:21:42.000 He's a fucking modern-day Jack Nicholson. 0.99

00:21:44.000 But that's why I appreciate this, dude. 0.99

00:21:46.000 Jack Nicholson, not the golfer.

00:21:48.000 The actor. 0.98

00:21:49.000 Damn, that would have sounded better if I got the name right. 0.99

00:21:50.000 He's a modern-day Jack Nicholson. 0.99

00:21:52.000 Yeah, he is. 1.00

00:21:52.000 Like, he's not trying with his fucking body. 1.00

00:21:54.000 He's just being an amazing actor. 0.99

00:21:56.000 Dude, in Django, when he played that evil dude.

00:21:58.000 Unreal. 0.99

00:21:59.000 Fucking A, man. 0.99

00:22:00.000 You buy it. 1.00

00:22:01.000 You believe it.

00:22:02.000 Yeah.

00:22:02.000 So intense.

00:22:03.000 That fight scene was one of my favorite fight scenes. 0.99

00:22:05.000 When he fucking hits these intense moments, like in The Revenant as well, it's another movie where he has these moments where like, fuck, you forget how good that guy is. 0.99

00:22:14.000 You forget how good he is. 0.99

00:22:15.000 Yeah, did you like Once Upon a Time or No?

00:22:17.000 Loved it.

00:22:17.000 You did?

00:22:18.000 Loved it, except the Bruce Lee scene.

00:22:19.000 But that's, I'm a Bruce Lee fan. 0.91

00:22:21.000 I'm a dork. 0.89

00:22:22.000 Real disrespectful to Bruce Lee. 0.96

00:22:23.000 It didn't make sense.

00:22:25.000 Because...

00:22:26.000 Even though Bruce Lee was very confident, he deemed that he was arrogant.

00:22:30.000 That's what Quentin was saying.

00:22:33.000 I just don't think he was a Bruce Lee fan.

00:22:36.000 Has any athlete at that caliber not been arrogant?

00:22:40.000 Can you name me someone that good?

00:22:42.000 This is where things are swirly, right?

00:22:45.000 Because Bruce Lee wasn't like a professional athlete per se.

00:22:49.000 He was an actor, but he was also one of the most important martial arts pioneers ever.

00:22:54.000 Because he was like a true dyed-in-the-wool innovator.

00:22:58.000 And if you look at his skills, like when he did the Green Hornet and Game of Death and Chinese Connection, just his kicking and striking skills.

00:23:06.000 Off-the-charts technique.

00:23:08.000 Beautiful technique.

00:23:09.000 And for the time, very few people had technique like him.

00:23:13.000 In the later years, people's technique improved.

00:23:17.000 People had a chance to see more styles in video and see more of what's possible.

00:23:22.000 But if you go back and watch even legends like Jim Kelly and some of those other...

00:23:27.000 Joe Lewis, who was a heavyweight kickboxing champion, not the boxer.

00:23:31.000 You see those guys playing in movies.

00:23:33.000 Their technique was not as good as Bruce Lee's.

00:23:36.000 Why was his so sharp?

00:23:37.000 He just was a genius.

00:23:39.000 He's a genius martial artist.

00:23:40.000 He understood more about martial arts than anybody of his era because he understood that everyone was being imprisoned by ideology.

00:23:48.000 Like, if you were a judo guy, you had to stick with judo.

00:23:52.000 You couldn't learn Muay Thai.

00:23:54.000 If you learned Muay Thai, you'd be disrespectful to your master, disrespectful to your style.

00:23:59.000 And people get mad at you.

00:24:00.000 When I was training in Taekwondo and then I started kickboxing, my instructor did not like it.

00:24:05.000 They did not like it.

00:24:05.000 One of my instructors in particular did not like it.

00:24:07.000 Didn't think I needed to do it.

00:24:09.000 Thought I could get everything that I needed at there.

00:24:11.000 But I knew that wasn't true.

00:24:12.000 Because I was going to gyms and getting boxed up.

00:24:15.000 And I was like, okay, I'm getting my bell run. 0.99

00:24:17.000 I need to learn how to use my fucking hands better. 0.99

00:24:19.000 And I started going to boxing gyms. 0.99

00:24:23.000 You couldn't do that.

00:24:24.000 You weren't supposed to do that.

00:24:25.000 They were a little bit lenient with me because they knew I was a lawyer and I was an instructor.

00:24:30.000 I was trying to learn things. 0.98

00:24:31.000 But when you go to a kung fu school, if you thought you could go to a karate school, they would fucking beat you. 0.99

00:24:36.000 People would really kick your ass if they thought you were leaving to go train with a karate school. 0.99

00:24:40.000 It was real weird. 0.99

00:24:41.000 So back in the day, Bruce Lee was the only guy.

00:24:44.000 He was training in Wing Chun and quite a few other martial arts he studied, but then he started studying Western boxing, he started studying wrestling, he started studying judo, and he did some grappling training with Gene LaBelle, who was supposed to kind of represent the Brad Pitt character,

00:25:00.000 but in a different way. 0.98

00:25:02.000 The Brad Pitt character is this ultimate badass stunt guy in that movie, and him and Bruce Lee get in a fight, and he kind of kicks Bruce Lee's ass. 0.99

00:25:10.000 He really fucks him up. 0.99

00:25:12.000 He really fucks him up. 1.00

00:25:12.000 Yeah, he kicks him into a fucking car, he folds the door. 1.00

00:25:14.000 The real story, when Bruce Lee met Judo Gene LaBelle, Judo Gene LaBelle was a stuntman, and he's a fucking gorilla. 0.99

00:25:22.000 He was a heavyweight or light heavyweight judo champion. 0.99

00:25:27.000 And I mean, a fucking bear of a man. 0.98

00:25:30.000 And he just picked Bruce Lee up, like he would pick up you or me, and walked around with him on his shoulder, just being cute with him. 0.99

00:25:39.000 And Bruce Lee was like, okay, teach me.

00:25:41.000 And Bruce Lee and him trained together.

00:25:43.000 And even in, I think it was Game of Death, in the opening scenes, he gets this guy, it's either in a crucifix or an armbar, I forget, but he gets this guy in a submission technique, which would be...

00:25:55.000 In the very first ever MMA gloves.

00:25:59.000 I don't know who invented those gloves, who designed them, but those gloves that Bruce Lee was wearing in, I think it was Game of Death.

00:26:06.000 Was it Game of Death or Enter the Dragon where he wore those gloves?

00:26:08.000 I think it was Game of Death.

00:26:10.000 Those gloves that he was wearing, they were just like UFC gloves.

00:26:14.000 Just like UFC gloves.

00:26:15.000 Just a little bit different.

00:26:16.000 A little more puffy than UFC gloves. 0.99

00:26:18.000 But anyway, he gets this dude down and gets him in a fucking arm lock. 0.98

00:26:20.000 And he taps him. 1.00

00:26:22.000 That's judo Gene LaBelle shit. 0.99

00:26:23.000 Like, LaBelle taught him how to do that stuff. 0.99

00:26:25.000 But what I was saying is like, it's not impossible that Bruce Lee would get beat up by someone like Gene LaBelle.

00:26:32.000 In fact, I would bet everything on it. 0.99

00:26:34.000 I would bet the fucking house. 1.00

00:26:36.000 If Bruce Lee had a fight with Gene LaBelle, Gene LaBelle would grab him and just like he would do you or just like you do me, he would choke him unconscious. 1.00

00:26:44.000 That's just facts.

00:26:45.000 This is just facts.

00:26:47.000 That's not the problem.

00:26:48.000 If they had that in the movie, that wouldn't be a problem. 1.00

00:26:51.000 The problem is they had Bruce Lee act like an asshole. 0.99

00:26:54.000 And there was no real evidence that he acted like that. 1.00

00:26:56.000 He was certainly confident, but it was also because he was a brilliant man.

00:26:59.000 And he knew he was brilliant.

00:27:01.000 He knew he was right.

00:27:02.000 He combined all these martial arts.

00:27:04.000 He was the first guy to combine things.

00:27:05.000 He was the first guy to take some of the kicks from Savat.

00:27:08.000 Which is like this French kickboxing style.

00:27:11.000 And he would combine them with movement of fencing.

00:27:13.000 He was really interested in fencing.

00:27:15.000 How they had these big entries.

00:27:17.000 Right.

00:27:18.000 And he realized that there's like a technique to these big entries with the sword that you could apply with a punch.

00:27:24.000 And so he was into fencing.

00:27:25.000 And he was into everything, man.

00:27:27.000 He was a genius.

00:27:28.000 So what was Quentin trying to say? 0.97

00:27:29.000 He made him out to be a dickwad.

00:27:31.000 I don't think he knew him, and it was more fun for him to make him out to be that way. 0.71

00:27:35.000 Look, everybody in the movie was someone who they weren't, right?

00:27:38.000 All the Manson family winds up, spoiler alert, they turn the tables on them and they all get killed, and none of the innocent people die. 0.97

00:27:44.000 It's a fucking wild scene, the movie. 0.98

00:27:47.000 The thing is they made a guy who's a beloved historical figure, they made him out to be a dickwad. 0.99

00:27:55.000 When he's making these movies, they're just wild ass movies. 0.93

00:27:58.000 He does whatever he wants.

00:27:59.000 That's why those movies are so great.

00:28:01.000 I would never tell him what to do.

00:28:02.000 But I'm just saying the only thing I didn't like was that this guy who is this Is there an equivalent in other sports like Bruce Lee?

00:28:12.000 It's hard to say because he wasn't really a competitor.

00:28:15.000 He had maybe like one karate match that was recorded.

00:28:18.000 I'm sure he had some gym fights.

00:28:20.000 Everybody who got involved in martial arts had some kind of gym fights where they were real fights.

00:28:25.000 Is there someone who transcended their sport a little bit?

00:28:30.000 Other than, like, think of any other sport of that era, or it's more than a sport, right?

00:28:36.000 Fighting is, like, a little bit more personal.

00:28:39.000 What one person transcended the whole art like Bruce Lee did?

00:28:44.000 Yeah, it's hard.

00:28:45.000 I mean, the only guy that, like, comes to mind that dynamically is such a remarkable athlete, like Bo Jackson, is maybe the most impressive...

00:28:54.000 Quiet, humble athlete that my generation's ever seen. 0.84

00:28:57.000 Bo Jackson was not only a pro baseball player but a pro football player and was fucking insane at both. 0.58

00:29:03.000 And when he was done, because of injury unfortunately, he relegated himself to still becoming this very centered athlete. 0.76

00:29:10.000 There's a video of him shooting bow and arrow with his toes and ripping bullseyes.

00:29:15.000 I mean, he's an incredible dynamic athlete who's very quiet and humble and was always kind of the guy who never boasted the way that his image was put up, right?

00:29:25.000 Like, his image was put up to a degree that was, like, one of the greatest of all—like, Bo knows.

00:29:29.000 He was a campaign.

00:29:30.000 He became a superstar.

00:29:31.000 But his image was based on his accomplishments, not based on him talking.

00:29:34.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:29:35.000 Bo was never a guy that was very, like, in-your-face and loud and boisterous, you know, like— A guy today would be like, you know, like Ochocinco, you know, like Chad Johnson.

00:29:44.000 All those guys, they're big, flashy, they're talkers. 0.99

00:29:46.000 I'm the shit. 1.00

00:29:48.000 Deion Sanders is a better example of a guy who was a football player and a baseball player. 1.00

00:29:52.000 Neon Deion, bro.

00:29:53.000 Showtime, all he did was talk about how good he was.

00:29:55.000 Bo wasn't that way, but in my opinion, was the most dynamic athlete I ever saw as a kid. 1.00

00:30:01.000 He was fucked. 0.99

00:30:01.000 He used to break baseball bats over his knee when he got mad if he struck out. 0.99

00:30:04.000 Yeah.

00:30:05.000 And it looked like me cracking a twig. 0.99

00:30:07.000 But if you try to find a video of him shooting that bow, it's the most impressive thing I've ever seen in my fucking life. 0.98

00:30:12.000 He whittles them and makes all of it himself at his house. 0.98

00:30:15.000 He lives up in the woods somewhere.

00:30:17.000 I swear to God, dude.

00:30:19.000 He was on my friend Steve Rinell's podcast.

00:30:21.000 He's incredible.

00:30:22.000 It's a really interesting episode.

00:30:23.000 Yeah.

00:30:24.000 So, yeah, he's got a bow-making shop.

00:30:27.000 He got really into bow hunting, but now he can't draw a bow back anymore. 0.97

00:30:31.000 His shoulders are so fucked up from football that he has to use a crossbow now. 0.92

00:30:38.000 I mean, he's one of those guys that was—I guess the only way I can compare him is just his humility was overwhelming. 0.98

00:30:44.000 He never really was a loud, boisterous guy when he—both when he played and after his career.

00:30:49.000 So that was the only thing that I think would parallel Bruce Lee because everything I know about Bruce Lee is like— But this is my difference.

00:30:55.000 He was a super accomplished athlete.

00:30:57.000 Bruce Lee was a movie guy.

00:30:59.000 Yeah.

00:31:00.000 He was a movie star.

00:31:00.000 It's a different animal.

00:31:01.000 Yeah, I guess that's true.

00:31:02.000 But from your perspective saying he was a martial artist, right?

00:31:08.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.99

00:31:09.000 So then isn't that still true without the movie shit? 0.99

00:31:11.000 He was a phenomenal martial artist? 0.99

00:31:12.000 He was definitely a phenomenal martial artist.

00:31:14.000 Just didn't compete.

00:31:15.000 Didn't really compete.

00:31:15.000 Well, yeah.

00:31:16.000 I guess that's part of it.

00:31:17.000 But I mean, can you not compete and still be at the top of a thing?

00:31:20.000 I mean, is that possible?

00:31:21.000 Yeah.

00:31:22.000 I don't know, man.

00:31:23.000 You know, that's the one thing that if I was going to make an argument against me as a commentator for the MMA, for MMA, I've never fought in MMA. Like, it's kind of hilarious that I'm a commentator for MMA. Even though I'm a fan of it and I know mostly what I'm talking about.

00:31:40.000 Imagine that's on the contract.

00:31:42.000 You must know most of what you're talking about.

00:31:43.000 That's what I know mostly what I'm talking about.

00:31:45.000 When it comes to wrestling, it's really interesting to work with guys like Dominic Cruz or work with Daniel Cormier.

00:31:50.000 Daniel Cormier in particular is one of the best wrestlers to ever compete in MMA. He's an active wrestling coach and Dominic does a lot of coaching too and a lot of MMA coaching too.

00:32:00.000 But both guys are so good at breaking down the technical aspects of it.

00:32:03.000 It makes you realize how little you really know about certain specialties.

00:32:08.000 But are they good at what you, the difference is, are they good at also articulating emotion and the public viewpoint?

00:32:15.000 That's the difference.

00:32:16.000 I can give expert analysis of ground fighting.

00:32:19.000 Of ground fighting, I can give expert.

00:32:23.000 You know, not to blow my horn, but I know what's going on.

00:32:26.000 Like, the way a lot of people know what's going on with boxing, I can tell you what's going on with chokes and when someone's in trouble, when someone's not. 0.96

00:32:34.000 And I can see it because I've been strangled a million times.

00:32:37.000 Right.

00:32:38.000 I can see where he's in trouble.

00:32:39.000 I know what that is.

00:32:40.000 I'm like, this guy's in trouble.

00:32:41.000 And some people can't see that. 0.94

00:32:43.000 But most MMA fighters at a certain point in time, they know most basic shit in terms of positions and when things are dangerous.

00:32:51.000 But when stuff gets exotic, like weird rubber guard transitions or strange chokes, like people invent new chokes all the time.

00:32:59.000 There's always something new that you haven't seen before. 0.94

00:33:01.000 Like, how the fuck did he do that? 0.96

00:33:02.000 And then you have to go back and watch it again. 0.99

00:33:04.000 But do people think, how many people think that you did fight I don't think anybody does.

00:33:09.000 You don't think so?

00:33:09.000 You know, I kickboxed, and I mean, if anybody looks at my record, I had three kickboxing fights, and I don't know how many Taekwondo fights.

00:33:16.000 A lot.

00:33:17.000 Probably a hundred.

00:33:18.000 What was your record?

00:33:19.000 I don't know.

00:33:20.000 I had two and one in kickboxing.

00:33:22.000 I lost my last kickboxing fight, but as far as Taekwondo, I have no idea.

00:33:26.000 I won the Massachusetts State Championship four years in a row, and I won, I think it was called the American Open, which is a big tournament that I won.

00:33:33.000 I came in second place in the US Cup.

00:33:36.000 That was a big thing that was in Connecticut, and I fought the national champion in the finals, and I thought I'd beat him.

00:33:44.000 That was when I was like 19, 20. That was when I was at my best.

00:33:48.000 When I was around 21 before I tried out for the nationals and I was going to try to make the Olympic team, That's when I was starting to box and kickbox and I was losing faith in Taekwondo.

00:33:59.000 I was realizing that I had a distorted perception of what I could do.

00:34:04.000 So you were way more engaged with boxing than you ever were with Taekwondo?

00:34:09.000 I was getting beat up.

00:34:10.000 Yeah.

00:34:10.000 That's what it was.

00:34:11.000 Yeah.

00:34:11.000 I would go to these kickboxing gyms, and when I would just, when I kickbox guys, I could kick them so hard, they couldn't get close enough to box me a lot of the time.

00:34:20.000 So I'd kick them in the arms, I'd kick them, and they'd be like, what the fuck? 0.94

00:34:24.000 And then I could, even though my hands weren't as good as those, my legs were so much better. 1.00

00:34:28.000 Right.

00:34:28.000 Because a lot of these guys couldn't kick at all.

00:34:30.000 So as long as we were starting at a distance, I could slam my legs into them, and they'd just be terrified.

00:34:35.000 Right.

00:34:35.000 Like, so many guys would just be, they would just try not to get hurt.

00:34:38.000 Right.

00:34:39.000 And you can't kick.

00:34:41.000 That's a terrible feeling.

00:34:42.000 Yeah, a kick is so much scarier than taking them. 0.99

00:34:44.000 Because punches, I feel like getting into a fist fight, if someone fucking kicks you in a fist fight, I'm done. 0.99

00:34:50.000 I'm getting whooped. 0.99

00:34:51.000 It's so painful.

00:34:52.000 There's so much mass in the leg, and they're so heavy.

00:34:55.000 You don't realize how hard it is until you get hit.

00:34:58.000 Even just getting hit in the arm. 1.00

00:34:59.000 It fucking sucks so bad. 1.00

00:35:02.000 When someone slams their shin into your arm, you're like, motherfucker! 1.00

00:35:06.000 It sucks, dude. 1.00

00:35:07.000 But when I was boxing with dudes, I was getting lit up. 0.96

00:35:10.000 In particular, there was this one dude that I used to box with.

00:35:13.000 His name was Dangerous Dana Rosenblatt.

00:35:15.000 He wound up to become the Massachusetts or the New England middleweight champion.

00:35:19.000 Really good guy.

00:35:19.000 And I was sparring with him a lot.

00:35:21.000 In the beginning, he was beating my ass. 1.00

00:35:23.000 And I was like, damn, this kid wants to fight way more than I do. 0.99

00:35:27.000 Because I was already doing comedy at the time, and I was starting to realize, like, I've got to pick one or the other. 0.98

00:35:30.000 Yeah.

00:35:31.000 And then as I was getting into kickboxing, because around 21 was when I got into comedy, right after my 21st birthday.

00:35:37.000 And so when I was getting into, like, really into kickboxing was like 20 into 21. And at the same time, I was thinking about doing stand-up.

00:35:46.000 And at the same time, I was realizing Taekwondo was bullshit. 0.99

00:35:48.000 Not really bullshit, but it's incomplete. 0.99

00:35:52.000 The problem is it's incomplete if someone knows how to box. 0.98

00:35:54.000 Like when someone closes the distance on you, you don't know what to do with your hands.

00:35:58.000 You don't know how to protect yourself.

00:36:00.000 You don't know where the punches are coming from.

00:36:01.000 You're not used to it, and you have to get used to it.

00:36:04.000 And the only way to get used to it is to learn how to actually box.

00:36:06.000 And I didn't know how to actually box until I was like 19 and 20 when I started going to these other gyms.

00:36:11.000 And then...

00:36:14.000 When I when I realized I had these giant holes Trying out for Taekwondo like doing Taekwondo tournaments and I still competed in Taekwondo But less I wasn't excited about it anymore because I realized like this is if I want to be a complete martial artist like I want to follow like Bruce Lee's teaching I've found a hole in my game and I have to patch that shit up There's a whole part that I thought I knew how to do and I didn't I knew how to punch things like I could punch things hard But you think that's boxing until someone pops you with a double jab left hook Pop,

00:36:44.000 pop, whap! 0.98

00:36:45.000 And you're like, oh, no.

00:36:46.000 What is this nonsense?

00:36:48.000 When technique comes to play. 0.99

00:36:49.000 What is this lean hand uppercut you just fucking chin me with? 0.98

00:36:52.000 You think that's also because you're obsessed as a human. 0.97

00:36:56.000 You're obsessed with finding the next level of things, so you were leveling up, too.

00:37:01.000 Taekwondo just became kind of boring to you, too.

00:37:03.000 It wasn't that, because I still wasn't the best in the country.

00:37:05.000 I'd lost in the finals to the guy who was this...

00:37:09.000 Kareem Jabbar, I think his name was.

00:37:11.000 He sounds good.

00:37:13.000 He was good.

00:37:13.000 He was very good.

00:37:14.000 He was the national champion.

00:37:15.000 You know Kareem Jabbar's are good.

00:37:16.000 I lost a decision, but I'm telling you, I thought I won that.

00:37:19.000 But there was a lot of wacky decisions in Taekwondo.

00:37:22.000 I mean, I definitely lost a lot of fights, but there was ones that I won that I didn't get the decision.

00:37:27.000 Is it a point system?

00:37:28.000 Yeah, but it's a weird point system.

00:37:30.000 It's very similar to boxing.

00:37:31.000 Where, you know, you decide.

00:37:33.000 People decide.

00:37:34.000 I never understood, but I love boxing, watching my whole life.

00:37:37.000 I still don't get boxing scoring when you're like, where do they come up with these numbers?

00:37:41.000 It's just people that aren't good at it.

00:37:43.000 If you had elite boxing judges, that's what I used to love about HBO boxing.

00:37:47.000 It's like comedy judges.

00:37:48.000 Harold Letterman used to tell you what the score was.

00:37:52.000 He would tell you what the score was.

00:37:54.000 So he would say, this is how I have it.

00:37:56.000 I think Rosario has been doing the best work.

00:37:59.000 Break down the fight.

00:38:01.000 It was part of what was fun.

00:38:03.000 But anyway, I wasn't bored with it in that I achieved the highest of heights.

00:38:07.000 It was that I realized it had holes in it, like big holes.

00:38:10.000 Big holes. 0.99

00:38:11.000 Big holes, like if I was in a street fight with one of those boxers, and I was in a bar where I couldn't throw a kick, I would be in deep shit. 1.00

00:38:17.000 Deep shit. 1.00

00:38:18.000 And so I learned how to box. 1.00

00:38:20.000 But that was right...

00:38:22.000 I'm no expert.

00:38:25.000 That's my point.

00:38:26.000 I'm not a guy who should be explaining...

00:38:29.000 Like, everything that's going on.

00:38:30.000 Yeah, but it's entertaining.

00:38:31.000 Like we talked about before the show, all these NFL guys are mad because Tony Romo got a $17 million contract.

00:38:37.000 And they're way better than him on the field than he ever was on the field.

00:38:40.000 A lot of these guys are getting paid way less than this dude was. 0.93

00:38:42.000 And they're like, how the fuck is this dude getting paid? 0.71

00:38:43.000 And he's just talking. 0.98

00:38:44.000 Yeah, and he's just chatting.

00:38:45.000 Well, that's what makes guys like Neon Sanders, Neon Deon, be so flamboyant.

00:38:49.000 Because that's where you get money, outside of just playing.

00:38:52.000 And the truth is, guys like Romo...

00:38:55.000 He does have, and this is something that you would share, his acumen for the game is so strong, but also his opinions are so real that he's not trying to save a job.

00:39:07.000 A lot of times these announcers, they're trying to just save a job.

00:39:10.000 They're doing the right thing.

00:39:11.000 They're being safe.

00:39:12.000 Yes, they're towing the line. 1.00

00:39:14.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:39:15.000 He'll call out an offense or a defense and say, well, this is why they fucked up that last play. 1.00

00:39:19.000 And I think America goes, oh, shit, that's great. 1.00

00:39:22.000 That's cool to know. 1.00

00:39:23.000 Versus someone just going, here's the play, and there's the play, and that's what happened, and okay, here, next.

00:39:28.000 I mean, people get bored of the same kind of announcers.

00:39:31.000 It's also his insight is going to be so much better than anybody who hasn't played the game.

00:39:35.000 He's so keen.

00:39:35.000 He just came off the field.

00:39:36.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:39:37.000 That's why in the UFC they do a great job with guys like Michael Bisping, who's a former middleweight champion.

00:39:42.000 He does a lot of commentary now, and he's great.

00:39:44.000 DC, DC commenting, yeah.

00:39:46.000 Dominic Cruz, Paul Felder, who's great at it too.

00:39:48.000 And all these guys that have fought before, especially at the really highest level, maybe even fought some of the guys they're doing commentary for.

00:39:55.000 They can give real insight as to things this guy does, what they train for, tendencies, stuff like that.

00:40:01.000 Do any of these ex-fighters ever become trainers or coaches?

00:40:03.000 Oh yeah, yeah, a lot.

00:40:04.000 Because that's like the thing in the NBA is like become a coach it's like they all want to become a coach not not as much in the NFL but NBA specifically it's big with that yeah but you know what makes me sad when fighters become coaches and then get fat well they all get fat dude a lot of them get fat not all of them I don't want to call anybody out there's a bunch in boxing there's a bunch in MMA and then you see them and you're like damn dude what's going on you ain't training I'm eating.

00:40:30.000 Well, when they're done fighting, man, they're just done.

00:40:33.000 They're just done. 0.97

00:40:34.000 Well, because a lot of these athletes, they spend their every waking moment like not doing the fucked up thing that we all get to do. 1.00

00:40:42.000 And so then when they get a break, I think at some point they're like, fuck it, dude. 0.95

00:40:45.000 But that was one of the reasons why it's so impressive that a guy like George St. Pierre takes four years off and comes back better than ever because he never stopped training. 0.98

00:40:54.000 You really never stop training, because he's a martial artist.

00:40:57.000 He's not just a fighter.

00:40:59.000 He fights professionally, and he's a world champion, but he's also a martial artist.

00:41:03.000 That's what he is.

00:41:04.000 So he's always training, and he trains because he enjoys it. 0.99

00:41:07.000 So when I see a guy like him that takes years off, you see him, he looks like a fucking Greek god. 0.99

00:41:13.000 He's sculpted. 0.99

00:41:14.000 He looks perfect.

00:41:15.000 Doesn't look like he's taking a day off out of the gym.

00:41:17.000 He looks as good, if not better, than he did when he was the welterweight champion of the world.

00:41:21.000 He looks amazing.

00:41:22.000 He doesn't gain anyway.

00:41:23.000 Isn't it more fun, though, to see a guy like... 1.00

00:41:25.000 Get fat as fuck? 1.00

00:41:25.000 Yeah, like the Fury fight. 1.00

00:41:27.000 Like, what a story to tell for a guy to get fat and then thin again.

00:41:30.000 Yeah, but that's different.

00:41:31.000 He's still a fighter.

00:41:32.000 Sure.

00:41:33.000 He had just a depressed moment in his life.

00:41:35.000 But we're talking about guys who become trainers after fighting, and they get fat.

00:41:39.000 That makes me sad, because I think they're sad.

00:41:41.000 Well, yeah, but they're also missing out on the thing that they used to get to do.

00:41:44.000 I mean, it's got to be weird to put on a suit as a coach or a trainer or whatever, put on the proper gear when you're not doing the thing anymore and watching it.

00:41:53.000 It's like I quit basketball my senior year because I liked partying a lot, and I was like...

00:42:00.000 I say this.

00:42:01.000 I found drugs and I was like, take it easy, basketball.

00:42:04.000 That's hilarious.

00:42:05.000 And a friend of mine invited me out.

00:42:07.000 We were getting stoned and he invited me to go to a game because we knew one of the rival school guys who were playing and we wanted to see him afterwards.

00:42:14.000 And I went and I was baked out of my head, but I was sitting in the bleachers watching them play and a piece of it killed me.

00:42:20.000 I didn't think it was going to affect me because I was like, I'm over basketball.

00:42:23.000 I'm never going to play in college.

00:42:24.000 It was fun while it lasted.

00:42:25.000 I got to move on.

00:42:27.000 But it did kill me, dude. 1.00

00:42:28.000 A piece of me was sitting there being like, fuck, this sucks. 0.99

00:42:31.000 I remember what that felt like, that thing. 1.00

00:42:33.000 And when I took it away from myself, it does fuck you up. 0.97

00:42:38.000 It's exciting. 0.99

00:42:39.000 It stays in your brain, yeah, because you miss it.

00:42:41.000 You're playing a game.

00:42:42.000 You're trying to win.

00:42:43.000 They're trying to win, too.

00:42:44.000 The ball's going there.

00:42:45.000 No, it's over here.

00:42:46.000 I'm going to try to grab it.

00:42:47.000 Pass it to me.

00:42:48.000 Oh, I take the shot.

00:42:49.000 Yeah!

00:42:50.000 You feel like a hero, right?

00:42:52.000 If you retired from comedy, if you went to see a stand-up show, it would eat you alive.

00:42:58.000 Probably, unless you were done.

00:43:00.000 Unless you're really done.

00:43:01.000 Are you really going to ever be done?

00:43:02.000 Not me.

00:43:03.000 Some people.

00:43:04.000 But who do you know of the greats that you love and respect are just done at some point?

00:43:09.000 Steve Martin.

00:43:10.000 He's still touring.

00:43:10.000 He's touring right now.

00:43:11.000 Yeah, but not really.

00:43:12.000 He's not doing stand-up.

00:43:13.000 He's doing this two-man show with Martin Short where I watched it.

00:43:18.000 They do stand-up-y bits, but I also think Steve is the music bug took over, which to me is still the same parallel.

00:43:27.000 He's still performing.

00:43:28.000 I think the music bug took over.

00:43:30.000 Well, he had it back then.

00:43:31.000 I mean, don't you remember, like, his stand-up albums?

00:43:34.000 Yeah, he had music.

00:43:35.000 Yeah, he had a bunch of songs.

00:43:38.000 But now he's, like, an outright musician.

00:43:40.000 That's all he wants to do.

00:43:42.000 So that, to me, it's still the same...

00:43:44.000 He's doing a different thing.

00:43:45.000 He's doing it differently, but he's still...

00:43:47.000 So, like, to me, I always think when someone goes, oh, yeah, when I retire, it's like, you're never gonna fucking retire from comedy unless it tells you you gotta go away.

00:43:54.000 I don't think comedy...

00:43:55.000 I don't think we ever quit.

00:43:56.000 I think it just...

00:43:58.000 Well, the thing is, if you can still do it, why would you stop?

00:44:02.000 You know how fun it is?

00:44:03.000 I mean, we talked about this before.

00:44:06.000 I feel bad for people who can't kill. 0.99

00:44:08.000 Yeah, it's weird.

00:44:09.000 You've never felt that?

00:44:11.000 You go on stage in the OR and just rock the house?

00:44:14.000 It's the best feeling in the world.

00:44:15.000 And when you got a new punchline, BAM! And it hits.

00:44:19.000 When you know it's coming to the way it feels.

00:44:21.000 And you see people happy.

00:44:23.000 You look out.

00:44:24.000 It's all these smiles.

00:44:25.000 Everybody's having a good time.

00:44:27.000 Everybody's happy.

00:44:28.000 You feel that.

00:44:29.000 You feel like you're making people feel good.

00:44:31.000 You're laughing.

00:44:32.000 That's why I think it'd be really hard to quit.

00:44:34.000 It'd be a sad moment to give that up.

00:44:38.000 You know when they say...

00:44:40.000 A guy retires, that's when he dies sometimes.

00:44:42.000 My old man retired, it's different, dude.

00:44:45.000 His lust for life is a little bit different now.

00:44:48.000 He's going through waves.

00:44:49.000 He's getting better, but it's weird, man.

00:44:51.000 It just feels like he's a people person. 0.99

00:44:53.000 He wants to be around people, and now that he doesn't have that anymore, I'm like, go get a fucking shitty job at a clothing store or something. 0.99

00:45:01.000 He's like, go get a bullshit job so you can talk to people, because being at the house is miserable. 1.00

00:45:05.000 He doesn't do shit all day. 1.00

00:45:06.000 He watches Fox News and eats beef jerky, and I'm like, get off. 1.00

00:45:09.000 Get the fuck out of the house, dude. 1.00

00:45:12.000 Dude, Fox News is designed for old people. 1.00

00:45:15.000 It's on loop.

00:45:15.000 It's on loop in the living room.

00:45:17.000 So many old people, when I go over to their house, they're watching Fox News. 1.00

00:45:20.000 Fox News, man.

00:45:22.000 White men over 60. It's mandatory. 1.00

00:45:24.000 They watch Fox News and shake their head.

00:45:26.000 I can't believe these libs.

00:45:28.000 Yeah.

00:45:28.000 I can't believe them.

00:45:29.000 And see?

00:45:30.000 Lock her up. 0.91

00:45:31.000 Lock her up. 0.91

00:45:32.000 What are they trying to sneak in?

00:45:35.000 I don't believe them.

00:45:36.000 I don't trust them.

00:45:37.000 They run out of so much material.

00:45:39.000 Sometimes when I come home to my parents' house, they've run out of material to talk about on Fox News, and they start getting really heavy into pop culture.

00:45:45.000 That's when it makes me laugh.

00:45:46.000 They're like, did you see what Ariana Grande was doing the other day? 1.00

00:45:49.000 I'm like, this is when they're out of shit. 1.00

00:45:51.000 They got nothing to talk about. 1.00

00:45:53.000 They're empty at some point.

00:45:55.000 Well, it's...

00:45:56.000 Then you have guys like...

00:45:57.000 These shows are opinion shows as much as they are news shows.

00:46:01.000 They're mostly opinion shows.

00:46:03.000 A big part of it is opinion.

00:46:06.000 It's just such a weird time, man. 1.00

00:46:08.000 You know, what's really interesting to me, too, is if a liberal goes on Fox News, they get a ton of shit. 1.00

00:46:13.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:46:14.000 Like any of the presidential candidates that have been on Fox News.

00:46:16.000 I think Yang...

00:46:18.000 I know Bernie's been on Fox News.

00:46:21.000 And I think Tulsi's definitely been on Fox News as well.

00:46:24.000 Yeah.

00:46:24.000 And people just get real mad at them.

00:46:26.000 Yeah, because there's this thing.

00:46:28.000 What are you doing over there?

00:46:29.000 Yeah.

00:46:30.000 Talking to those propagandists. 0.70

00:46:32.000 Those fascists.

00:46:33.000 It's like the way that people talk about you is really funny when they're like, you know, when they label you with something. 0.92

00:46:41.000 Oh, there's our boy.

00:46:42.000 What's Joe Biden doing?

00:46:42.000 What happened?

00:46:42.000 There's our bud.

00:46:43.000 Oh, Biden was there too.

00:46:44.000 Look at him.

00:46:45.000 See, I just wonder about his skin.

00:46:49.000 Are they pulling it back with fishing wire to keep it up on his head?

00:46:53.000 He seems oddly stiff.

00:46:56.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:58.000 Yeah.

00:46:58.000 It seems like everything's pulled.

00:47:02.000 I expect a certain amount of laxity in a man's face when he reaches a certain age, particularly around the forehead area.

00:47:11.000 I'm just not seeing it.

00:47:12.000 I'm not seeing any movement either, which makes me wonder about that.

00:47:15.000 Like, I want to see expressions in your forehead.

00:47:17.000 My worry is his lack...

00:47:19.000 He has a very big...

00:47:20.000 He lacks the ability to have, like, a cohesive story.

00:47:25.000 Like, he's not good at being...

00:47:26.000 Like, have you ever seen him talking to the kids by the pool? 0.99

00:47:29.000 It's the weirdest fucking clip. 0.99

00:47:30.000 Talking about his hairy legs? 1.00

00:47:31.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:47:32.000 He's like, to a bunch of little black kids, he's like, and the black kids would come up and they'd see my hair go up and bubbles come up. 1.00

00:47:38.000 And they'd touch my hairy legs. 0.99

00:47:41.000 I just think his brain is he's losing a lot of I tweeted something this morning because there was someone put up a video of Models on a runway on a catwalk and they're all tripping and falling in the same spot these dumb shoes They're wearing and I was like this is Biden's brain cells It's like they think they're on the right path until they get this spot and then they just can't fucking Did you see the thing that he was talking about God creating women? 0.99

00:48:03.000 No, and then he called his wife his sister, you know the you know I forget what it was. 0.99

00:48:09.000 I forget what the gaff was.

00:48:10.000 But it was one of those, we listened to him, like, what are you saying?

00:48:14.000 Like, it's like he has no brakes.

00:48:17.000 Like, his car is going down the hill. 1.00

00:48:19.000 It's like, oh, geez, I hit a fucking tree. 1.00

00:48:20.000 He's like, hit the wall, fuck it. 1.00

00:48:21.000 There it is. 1.00

00:48:22.000 Can't remember the word creator.

00:48:24.000 Refers to God as the thing.

00:48:28.000 Hey, actually, I like that more.

00:48:29.000 That's funny.

00:48:30.000 You know what I think?

00:48:30.000 I have a different take on it.

00:48:31.000 Let's play it.

00:48:32.000 I have a different take on it.

00:48:34.000 Because when I listened to it, I said, oh, I know what he's doing.

00:48:36.000 Which one do you think it is?

00:48:37.000 The bottom one.

00:48:38.000 The second one.

00:48:38.000 He doesn't want to...

00:48:40.000 We owe these truths to be self-evident.

00:48:42.000 All men and women created by... 1.00

00:48:44.000 You know the thing.

00:48:47.000 Stop.

00:48:47.000 Pause.

00:48:48.000 You can't be president.

00:48:49.000 Stop.

00:48:50.000 Pause.

00:48:51.000 Pause.

00:48:52.000 Listen, we can't play any games here, folks.

00:48:54.000 This is a really old man who can't talk. 0.99

00:48:57.000 Like, this is not a joke.

00:48:59.000 Like, that right now.

00:49:00.000 You know the thing?

00:49:00.000 Play that again.

00:49:01.000 Play that again. 1.00

00:49:01.000 This should get you into a mental hospital. 1.00

00:49:04.000 They should be like, hey, um, Joey, you alright? 0.92

00:49:14.000 He had three strokes while he was saying that.

00:49:17.000 The first one, what was that word?

00:49:19.000 Self-evident?

00:49:20.000 Is that what he said?

00:49:21.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident.

00:49:23.000 But it didn't even sound right.

00:49:24.000 Hear it again.

00:49:25.000 Listen to it.

00:49:27.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident.

00:49:29.000 Self-evident.

00:49:30.000 Self-evident.

00:49:31.000 He's drunk.

00:49:32.000 That dude's either drunk or he can't talk.

00:49:34.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident.

00:49:36.000 He shouldn't be doing this anymore.

00:49:37.000 Self-evident. 1.00

00:49:38.000 And then he says, when he goes, he could have just said, all men and women are created, and he could have just said equal and gotten out of there and been like, fuck it. 0.99

00:49:44.000 And instead he goes, the thing. 0.98

00:49:48.000 I think he didn't want to say the creator because there's a lot of people...

00:49:51.000 The religious thing.

00:49:52.000 Yeah.

00:49:52.000 There's a lot of people that would say, well, what are you trying to say?

00:49:55.000 Do you believe in evolution or not?

00:49:57.000 Are you a science denier, Joe Biden?

00:49:59.000 Joe Biden's a science denier.

00:50:00.000 That's it.

00:50:01.000 But that's part of the problem with all these...

00:50:02.000 My biggest beef... 0.93

00:50:04.000 With anybody in the Democratic Party, when you watch these debates, is they all want to say the thing that they really feel, but they're tiptoeing because they're scared out of their fucking minds of someone going, Warren just said, see? 0.99

00:50:16.000 And she's anti-trans because they're waiting for them to fuck up. 0.99

00:50:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:22.000 Well, they're making people behave the way they would like them to behave. 1.00

00:50:27.000 They're forcing compliance.

00:50:29.000 Right. 1.00

00:50:29.000 Meanwhile, Trump is just like, trans, fags, I don't care. 1.00

00:50:32.000 Fuck them all. 1.00

00:50:33.000 He doesn't give a shit. 1.00

00:50:34.000 We were trying to find it yesterday. 0.99

00:50:36.000 Did you find that thing for Titania McGrath?

00:50:38.000 God, I love that dude.

00:50:40.000 He's awesome.

00:50:41.000 He's a really nice guy too.

00:50:42.000 The interview was great, but his perspective on the chaos is so perfect because he just takes a little bit of how dumb they are and just shows everybody and it says so much. 0.97

00:50:55.000 A little dumb tweet says everything you need to know. 0.95

00:50:57.000 He tweeted something today that was phenomenal. 0.97

00:50:59.000 I was trying to remember what I was looking for because I couldn't find it.

00:51:01.000 There was a series of – it was a tweet in response to a series of tweets about removing a flag that said woman, a noun, a female human.

00:51:12.000 And then people were saying that's a transphobic dog whistle.

00:51:15.000 You should remove that immediately.

00:51:16.000 And then he's like, that's true.

00:51:18.000 I forget the exact – Females have never been women. 0.88

00:51:22.000 Or women have never been females or something like that.

00:51:24.000 Female humans. 1.00

00:51:24.000 Yeah, female humans. 1.00

00:51:26.000 It's like – It's so great.

00:51:27.000 You find it – It's real recent.

00:51:30.000 Unless he's tweeting all day every day.

00:51:31.000 And they took down the flag.

00:51:33.000 Is it a response to a picture?

00:51:34.000 Here, I'll show you what I'm looking at.

00:51:36.000 Okay, show me what you're looking at.

00:51:38.000 Where did it start?

00:51:40.000 20 hours, keep going.

00:51:42.000 Oh, this is two days ago, maybe.

00:51:44.000 Three days ago or something like that.

00:51:45.000 So you'll see there's a flag.

00:51:46.000 That's it.

00:51:46.000 That's it right there.

00:51:47.000 Bam.

00:51:48.000 See, first one.

00:51:49.000 Go to the first one.

00:51:51.000 See that?

00:51:52.000 There it is.

00:51:53.000 Look at this.

00:51:54.000 It says, hey...

00:51:57.000 Sefton Council. 0.97

00:51:58.000 Flag you're flying at the moment is a hostile transphobic dog whistle.

00:52:03.000 Recognizes a symbol and brand of one of Britain's most outspoken and visible trans antagonists and the leader of a transphobic hate group.

00:52:14.000 Hmm.

00:52:14.000 Okay.

00:52:15.000 Well, he might be telling the truth there, though.

00:52:17.000 That might be something that really anti-trans people do fly as a flag, even though it is just the definition of a woman. 1.00

00:52:25.000 That might actually be true.

00:52:27.000 It could be.

00:52:29.000 See, the thing is, one thing is what it is.

00:52:33.000 What it is is a fact.

00:52:33.000 But if that's something, if it has some logo on it that represents some anti-trans group, does it?

00:52:39.000 Right.

00:52:39.000 Can we find out if it does?

00:52:41.000 We should know because it's either one of two things.

00:52:44.000 Either it's crazy to say that it's transphobic because all it is is the biological scientific definition of a woman. 0.99

00:52:51.000 And it's woman empowerment is maybe the initial intention was to be like, women, go women, but underneath it all it might be some fucked up. 0.98

00:52:58.000 You can't say go women if it's women versus trans women. 0.98

00:53:01.000 You can say go women if it's women versus men. 0.98

00:53:03.000 Right, right.

00:53:04.000 But you can't say go women if it's women versus trans women because trans women are women. 0.89

00:53:08.000 You know what I say to women, Joe? 1.00

00:53:09.000 I say, get back in the kitchen. 1.00

00:53:11.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:53:13.000 You probably do say that. 1.00

00:53:13.000 That's where you belong. 1.00

00:53:15.000 You do say that.

00:53:16.000 Yeah, that's what I say. 1.00

00:53:17.000 Fucking terrible. 0.99

00:53:18.000 So find out if that flag actually is the flag from a hate group. 1.00

00:53:25.000 Because if there was a transphobic...

00:53:27.000 Let's imagine.

00:53:28.000 Not someone who's like, hey, I don't think trans women should fight biological women and not tell them that they used to be a man for 30 years. 0.99

00:53:36.000 Which is my position.

00:53:38.000 This is what got me called transphobic.

00:53:41.000 That's not really transphobic.

00:53:42.000 Because I really don't care if you're trans. 1.00

00:53:43.000 I'm happy for you.

00:53:44.000 If it makes you feel better to be a woman or better to transition to a man, congratulations. 0.69

00:53:49.000 Really.

00:53:50.000 As an adult.

00:53:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:51.000 But...

00:53:52.000 There are groups out there that don't like trans people, like literally don't like them and think that they're all insane and that they all should be committed to mental institutions and that they should never call them by their female name and you should never treat them like they're a woman.

00:54:07.000 Maybe that was the head of that group. 0.63

00:54:10.000 That's a different perspective.

00:54:11.000 But it was a council.

00:54:12.000 He was tweeting it.

00:54:12.000 It's a government building, which is why I have a hard time believing it.

00:54:15.000 That's the angle.

00:54:16.000 That's why I'm like, who put the flag up?

00:54:18.000 Where'd the flag come from?

00:54:19.000 Click on that Clifton Council and see whom they are.

00:54:23.000 But that's the problem.

00:54:28.000 There's a difference, though.

00:54:29.000 There is.

00:54:29.000 But also, do you think...

00:54:33.000 Do you think that, just blankly, do you think that was the intention of that flag?

00:54:38.000 I think, most likely, if I was going to fly a flag that said woman, noun, a biological female, I was saying that a biological male is not a woman.

00:54:48.000 That's probably what I was saying.

00:54:49.000 Sure.

00:54:49.000 Depends on why they're saying it.

00:54:51.000 Are they saying it because these...

00:54:53.000 Trans women are encroaching on female spaces, like female sports, or are they saying it because they don't think it's morally right for someone to transition to become a woman? 0.99

00:55:06.000 I mean, why are they saying it?

00:55:07.000 That's the question.

00:55:08.000 It's not what it is, because what it is is inarguable.

00:55:11.000 Yes, that's what a woman is. 1.00

00:55:12.000 The question is, do you think that a trans woman is the same as a biological woman in terms of the respect they deserve?

00:55:22.000 And whether or not you should treat them in a friendly manner.

00:55:25.000 Right.

00:55:25.000 Or whether you should discriminate them or be allowed to discriminate against them.

00:55:28.000 That's where it gets weird, right?

00:55:30.000 Yeah, I mean, I think...

00:55:31.000 I hear all this stuff and I just...

00:55:33.000 I think about that asteroid that's supposed to come and I'm like, hurry up. 0.99

00:55:37.000 I don't really give a fuck anymore. 0.99

00:55:39.000 I'm just fucking... 1.00

00:55:39.000 Dude, we got through the black plague. 1.00

00:55:41.000 Let's go. 0.64

00:55:41.000 You don't think we'll get through trans people? 0.64

00:55:42.000 No, no.

00:55:43.000 We'll be fine.

00:55:44.000 No, I'm saying we don't...

00:55:45.000 All this nonsense...

00:55:47.000 I think global warming is going to be good for us.

00:55:49.000 I think we deserve to get out of here for a little while.

00:55:51.000 What are you talking about?

00:55:52.000 Get out of here for a little while.

00:55:53.000 I think the earth needs to start from scratch. 0.99

00:55:54.000 I think we need to get fucked off this planet and the earth needs to start again without us. 0.99

00:55:58.000 I think we're getting too heavy. 1.00

00:56:00.000 Or someone sounds like a quitter.

00:56:02.000 Yeah, I'm out.

00:56:03.000 Hey, hey, I'm done.

00:56:04.000 You sound like a quitter.

00:56:05.000 I'm done.

00:56:06.000 The real problem is people trying to get people to comply with their perspective and not recognizing other people's perspectives and then being militant about supporting their side.

00:56:17.000 Yeah, but look, an educated person is cool with almost everyone doing what they want, what they please, right?

00:56:25.000 So what we're really doing is saying- For the most part.

00:56:26.000 Most educated people would go, do you care about trans? 0.99

00:56:29.000 I'd go, I hope they're fucking happy. 0.99

00:56:31.000 I don't care what anybody wants to do. 0.98

00:56:32.000 As long as it makes them happy and that's a part of their life that they choose to do, that no one's forced them to do, then I hope that they're happy.

00:56:39.000 Why would I care?

00:56:41.000 I think only uneducated people have a tough time accepting somebody else's needs or wants to be what society doesn't deem the norm.

00:56:52.000 You get more insecure. 0.97

00:56:53.000 Yeah, because if you're fucking educated, you have other things to think about and to worry about. 0.99

00:56:58.000 You have just educated people that are bigots. 0.98

00:57:01.000 Sure, sure, but I do think it's more rare.

00:57:04.000 Yeah, I think so too.

00:57:05.000 But I think there's a lot of really kind people that aren't educated.

00:57:08.000 I think really it's just... 0.97

00:57:10.000 Or ignorant, perhaps. 0.97

00:57:11.000 Maybe that's the thing. 0.99

00:57:12.000 Maybe there's a lot of...

00:57:13.000 Okay, so let's say this.

00:57:14.000 There's members of my family or friends or people that we know, quite educated, who are ignorant towards people, so they've never met a trans person, so they're a little weary of them, perhaps.

00:57:23.000 It doesn't mean they hate them.

00:57:24.000 It means they might go...

00:57:26.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

00:57:27.000 I've never fucking seen one. 0.98

00:57:28.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:57:28.000 Well, let's be honest. 0.99

00:57:29.000 Before, people felt real comfortable, and they still don't really, but they're more comfortable now, I think, coming out than they ever were before.

00:57:35.000 Yeah, people should feel comfortable.

00:57:37.000 But my point is there wasn't that many of them.

00:57:39.000 Like, when we were kids, how many trans kids were in your high school?

00:57:42.000 Zero.

00:57:43.000 Zero.

00:57:43.000 Yeah, but also there probably were kids that wanted to be trans.

00:57:46.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:57:46.000 They just societally had this weird bar on them that was like...

00:57:49.000 That's what's weird.

00:57:50.000 It's like that bar has been lifted in some ways.

00:57:52.000 How many more bars are going to get lifted?

00:57:53.000 That's my whole thing too.

00:57:54.000 What else is next?

00:57:56.000 Foxkin.

00:57:56.000 People that are...

00:57:57.000 They think they're animals.

00:57:59.000 Yeah, but I'm cool with that.

00:58:00.000 Do you know about all that?

00:58:00.000 I went to high school with some kids that thought they were animals for sure.

00:58:03.000 You know, there's always like a kid that wears ears and prances through the hallway.

00:58:06.000 Yeah, furries.

00:58:06.000 They're furries now.

00:58:07.000 And people are like, Mikey's funny, man.

00:58:09.000 You gotta let him fly.

00:58:10.000 If they get together, they have a good time.

00:58:12.000 You know, like those furry conventions?

00:58:13.000 Right, I've seen them before.

00:58:14.000 You've seen those.

00:58:14.000 They get together, they're having a good time.

00:58:16.000 But that's always sexual.

00:58:17.000 Like, it always turns into a...

00:58:18.000 It's never like a, we just do this because this is how we feel. 0.99

00:58:21.000 It's like, we like to fuck in costumes. 0.99

00:58:23.000 That's what it is. 1.00

00:58:23.000 Yeah, and you take a peek as Woody the Woodpecker doll is about to fuck you. 1.00

00:58:28.000 You look at his herpes-ridden dick. 1.00

00:58:30.000 Like, what is going on? 1.00

00:58:31.000 Is this a personal experience?

00:58:32.000 What happened?

00:58:33.000 Oh, there's a person under there. 0.99

00:58:35.000 All sweaty, with staph infections and shit. 0.99

00:58:38.000 Imagine the perfect job for one of those kids in high school that wanted to be an animal is a mascot for a sporting team. 1.00

00:58:43.000 That's like the most... 0.97

00:58:44.000 They're just in there jerking off in between. 0.94

00:58:46.000 There's all these guys running around. 0.98

00:58:48.000 Everybody's going crazy.

00:58:49.000 Nobody knows who you really are under there.

00:58:51.000 You can dance around.

00:58:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:58:53.000 Act silly. 1.00

00:58:53.000 It's probably hot as fuck in there though. 1.00

00:58:55.000 So we talked about this. 0.99

00:58:56.000 I went to a basketball game when I got home the other day and I was like, I wonder how much they make.

00:59:01.000 I wonder if they only do it because it's a free trip to the game because there's no way you can't make a lot of money doing it.

00:59:09.000 I can't imagine.

00:59:10.000 I would imagine you don't make a lot of money.

00:59:12.000 First of all, you're replaceable.

00:59:13.000 You just put that head on somebody else's body and no one's even going to know.

00:59:17.000 We're done with you, Dave.

00:59:18.000 Why?

00:59:19.000 Dance around.

00:59:20.000 I'm going to hire my nephew instead.

00:59:22.000 Whenever there's a mascot, like Ronald McDonald, you're like, hmm.

00:59:28.000 Yeah, why?

00:59:28.000 Yeah, and I remember there was some McDonald's, maybe I'm remembering this incorrectly, but didn't they used to have McDonald's where you could meet Ronald McDonald?

00:59:37.000 At some McDonald's?

00:59:38.000 He used to be, yeah.

00:59:39.000 The figure himself was at charity events a lot.

00:59:43.000 But there was a guy dressed up like him?

00:59:45.000 Is that what it was?

00:59:45.000 Yeah, but it wouldn't be at the location just on a random day.

00:59:49.000 There was always like, the Ronald McDonald House was a children's sponsorship, and they would do a lot of events.

00:59:54.000 He was out a little bit more.

00:59:56.000 But it's almost like a Santa Claus type deal.

00:59:58.000 Totally. 1.00

00:59:59.000 I mean, if Ronald McDonald asked for too much money, they'd be like, bitch, nobody knows what you really look like. 1.00

01:00:04.000 Let's get a new Ronald. 0.99

01:00:05.000 Yeah, dude.

01:00:06.000 Why don't we use the same nose?

01:00:07.000 Yeah.

01:00:07.000 We got Ronald in Kansas is way better than you do.

01:00:09.000 We're shipping him in.

01:00:10.000 Tom's nose is the same size as your nose.

01:00:12.000 Right.

01:00:12.000 And you have to switch the little red thing.

01:00:14.000 Mascots for fast food is very interesting.

01:00:15.000 I've never even thought about that, why that exists.

01:00:17.000 Burger King never had one. 1.00

01:00:18.000 It's for kids.

01:00:19.000 They're roping kids in.

01:00:20.000 But why Wendy's has Wendy?

01:00:23.000 Yeah, cute little girl. 0.91

01:00:24.000 Makes you want to go there and get a burger.

01:00:25.000 Taco Bell has Alejandro.

01:00:27.000 You know him.

01:00:28.000 Do you know him?

01:00:28.000 Alejandro the Taco?

01:00:29.000 No.

01:00:29.000 Is that real?

01:00:30.000 No, it's not a real thing.

01:00:32.000 I had that little dog for a while.

01:00:34.000 Yeah, that was...

01:00:35.000 Taco Bell had a little dog.

01:00:36.000 What was his name?

01:00:37.000 You know, that's a comic.

01:00:38.000 No, that's a comedian that does that voice. 1.00

01:00:39.000 Is it?

01:00:40.000 Carlos Equiziri.

01:00:41.000 Is that his...

01:00:41.000 I don't know how to say his name.

01:00:42.000 The guy from Reno 911?

01:00:44.000 He did it?

01:00:44.000 Yeah, the Yo'Kero Taco Bell.

01:00:46.000 Carlos Equiziri.

01:00:46.000 Look that up to make sure that I'm not out of my head, but...

01:00:49.000 Yeah, he did that campaign.

01:00:51.000 Oh.

01:00:52.000 Yeah, the Yo Quiero Taco Bell.

01:00:54.000 Yeah, but Burger King never had one.

01:00:56.000 They didn't need one.

01:00:57.000 Huh?

01:00:58.000 Look at the King.

01:00:59.000 Remember, they have all those commercials with him.

01:01:00.000 He just doesn't talk.

01:01:01.000 Yeah, he doesn't say anything.

01:01:02.000 He's not really like a fake.

01:01:03.000 He's just like a symbol more than anything.

01:01:05.000 I guess Wendy's didn't talk much either.

01:01:08.000 What was your fat out?

01:01:09.000 I had Dave Thomas, though.

01:01:10.000 He was the creator.

01:01:11.000 I mean, that's from Columbus, so I know a lot about it, but...

01:01:14.000 Wendy's would be from Columbus.

01:01:15.000 Yeah.

01:01:16.000 We had White Castle. 0.98

01:01:17.000 That was our trash as a kid.

01:01:18.000 It's interesting if you have someone like In-N-Out that doesn't, they don't do fast food.

01:01:24.000 It's not really fast food.

01:01:25.000 I mean, it's pretty fast, but it's way better.

01:01:28.000 Yeah, it's medium fast.

01:01:29.000 But they actually cook it right there.

01:01:31.000 When you get it, it's just way better.

01:01:33.000 Oh, by far.

01:01:34.000 It's not even close.

01:01:35.000 Yeah.

01:01:35.000 So, like, if you go by Burger King and you see, like, the drive-in, there might be one person there.

01:01:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:40.000 You go by In-N-Out, that motherfucker's around the block. 0.99

01:01:43.000 Never not. 1.00

01:01:43.000 Always. 1.00

01:01:44.000 It's never not packed.

01:01:45.000 There's always a line.

01:01:45.000 And it's because it's a better product.

01:01:48.000 But how come they don't...

01:01:50.000 How come everybody else doesn't go, hey, I got an idea?

01:01:54.000 Why don't we make it better?

01:01:55.000 Did you watch the Founder movie?

01:01:56.000 Yeah, that's why.

01:01:57.000 The Founder?

01:01:57.000 The Founder.

01:01:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:58.000 About how they made it just—it was about speed.

01:02:00.000 Because McDonald's became a production line, and they learned that shipping burgers frozen was way more efficient, and they lost less product, and they also cost them nothing.

01:02:08.000 In-N-Out was willing to take a hit because they were a family-run business, and they were like, there's only a few locations.

01:02:13.000 We'll do better product for a little bit higher of a price and not franchise it yet.

01:02:17.000 Because now you can only franchise it if you're a member of their family.

01:02:20.000 You know that?

01:02:21.000 Good.

01:02:22.000 Keep it up.

01:02:23.000 Whatever they're doing.

01:02:24.000 You can only open a franchise if you are an extended member of the original family.

01:02:30.000 I'm happy.

01:02:31.000 Yeah.

01:02:31.000 Because it's great.

01:02:32.000 They keep it that way.

01:02:32.000 They're great.

01:02:33.000 Because if they went the other way, it would go to shit. 0.99

01:02:35.000 I mean, dude, you get raw onions on a double-double. 1.00

01:02:38.000 Woo, son.

01:02:39.000 It's the best.

01:02:40.000 It's so good.

01:02:41.000 It is the best.

01:02:42.000 But the thing about it is there's nothing comparable.

01:02:45.000 Like, there's no one else is doing it except Five Guys.

01:02:48.000 There's no one else is doing it like that. 1.00

01:02:49.000 Don't shake your fucking head at Five Guys. 1.00

01:02:50.000 I don't like Five Guys. 1.00

01:02:51.000 Five Guys can take a walk.

01:02:53.000 No, dude.

01:02:54.000 Oh, how dare you both.

01:02:55.000 But Fat Burger is a sit-down restaurant in Southern California.

01:02:59.000 That's like a sit-down.

01:03:00.000 Fat Burger's pretty good.

01:03:01.000 And Whataburger and Fat Burger are on the same level to me.

01:03:04.000 They're like, you sit down when you eat.

01:03:05.000 Nobody drives through Fat Burger.

01:03:07.000 That's true, but maybe Fat Burger should be on that list.

01:03:11.000 I think you're right.

01:03:12.000 Burger stands are a thing here that really don't exist a lot of places.

01:03:14.000 There are a lot of still small places.

01:03:16.000 But here's the thing.

01:03:17.000 How come Fat Burger doesn't have the kind of clientele base that In-N-Out does?

01:03:22.000 They drive through.

01:03:23.000 That's what it is?

01:03:24.000 Yeah, but I would also argue...

01:03:26.000 Don't they know about drive-thrus?

01:03:27.000 Why wouldn't they have a drive-thru?

01:03:29.000 But I bet you it has a lot to do with strategic locations as well.

01:03:34.000 I bet you In-N-Out puts itself in places where they know they're going to have...

01:03:36.000 No, there's a Fatburger right up here on Ventura.

01:03:39.000 It's in a great spot.

01:03:40.000 And it usually gets a few people in there.

01:03:42.000 But I'm saying it's never got the kind of lines, but he's right. 0.99

01:03:44.000 It's a drive-thru thing.

01:03:45.000 The other thing is Fatburger, they do the same thing.

01:03:47.000 They cook it right then when you order it.

01:03:49.000 I don't really do it.

01:03:50.000 I don't do it.

01:03:51.000 If I'm going to get out of the house and eat one of those, I'm going to have In-N-Out.

01:03:53.000 It's the only one I will really go to.

01:03:55.000 That burger's pretty good.

01:03:56.000 And I don't like Five Guys.

01:03:57.000 It's not a drive-thru either. 1.00

01:03:58.000 That's a fucking... 0.98

01:03:59.000 What's the one that came to L.A., everyone freaked out? 1.00

01:04:01.000 Steak and Shake.

01:04:02.000 Shake Shack.

01:04:03.000 No.

01:04:04.000 Because it came from New York.

01:04:04.000 Shake Shack, that's it?

01:04:05.000 Yeah, they had a huge line for like months.

01:04:07.000 Pass.

01:04:08.000 It's okay, but it's like a gourmet version of all...

01:04:11.000 They have critical fries, which is the problem.

01:04:13.000 It's a gourmet?

01:04:13.000 Is that good?

01:04:14.000 Yeah, like a gourmet chef.

01:04:15.000 Isn't that the place that was in Ohio that was outside of the Funny Bone?

01:04:20.000 No.

01:04:20.000 What was that place?

01:04:22.000 Probably some local Columbus place.

01:04:23.000 That's how you really want to get diarrhea.

01:04:25.000 That's some Shaq thing, some Shake Shaq or Steak. 1.00

01:04:27.000 Oh, Steak and Shake.

01:04:28.000 Steak and Shake?

01:04:28.000 That's it.

01:04:29.000 Okay. 1.00

01:04:29.000 See, my fucking dumbass had those two. 1.00

01:04:32.000 Like, oh, it's that one. 1.00

01:04:33.000 My dumbass had those two connected. 0.99

01:04:35.000 That's not even hamburger. 1.00

01:04:36.000 Those are technically steak patties or steak burgers.

01:04:38.000 I don't know.

01:04:38.000 Oh, really?

01:04:39.000 Yeah, it's like an old.

01:04:40.000 But they have that Columbus chili with spaghetti.

01:04:43.000 So that's Skyline chili.

01:04:44.000 That's a Cincinnati thing.

01:04:45.000 Yeah, but they have that in Columbus as well.

01:04:47.000 Yeah, all over Ohio.

01:04:48.000 That's all over the Midwest.

01:04:49.000 That Wisconsin does that.

01:04:51.000 Chili with spaghetti.

01:04:52.000 They do it up here. 0.97

01:04:52.000 Pretty goddamn good when you're drunk. 0.97

01:04:54.000 Oh, dude, go to Chili John's here in the Valley. 0.98

01:04:56.000 You never heard of Chili John's?

01:04:57.000 No.

01:04:57.000 They do that.

01:04:58.000 You know Chili John's in Burbank?

01:04:59.000 You never heard of it?

01:04:59.000 That's what they do.

01:05:00.000 There was a guy from the Midwest.

01:05:01.000 He put one over there.

01:05:02.000 There's a few places that you hear about when you're like, oh, that's real?

01:05:07.000 Did you know there's a 24-hour steakhouse in downtown LA? What?

01:05:11.000 Pacific Dining Cart.

01:05:12.000 Yeah.

01:05:13.000 It's like a legit 24-hour steakhouse.

01:05:16.000 I'm writing it down.

01:05:16.000 You and I can go there tonight at 4 in the morning.

01:05:18.000 Let's fucking go. 0.99

01:05:19.000 And get a legit steak. 1.00

01:05:21.000 Like a fucking bone-in ribeye, medium-rare mashed potatoes with the fucking sour cream and chives, kid. 1.00

01:05:29.000 How come I never heard of this before? 1.00

01:05:30.000 I don't know.

01:05:31.000 I haven't eaten at it.

01:05:32.000 I've eaten at the one in Santa Monica.

01:05:33.000 Save.

01:05:34.000 But one of the writers... 0.94

01:05:36.000 I don't fucking... 0.99

01:05:37.000 I don't remember which show it was on. 0.99

01:05:39.000 I forgot which writer told me about this.

01:05:41.000 But it was quite a few years back, and I looked into it.

01:05:46.000 There's a 24-hour Pacific Dining Cart in downtown LA. 24 hours.

01:05:51.000 You're the only guy I've ever had steak with at 1.30 in the morning.

01:05:55.000 You're the only dude of my whole life.

01:05:57.000 36 years I've been on the earth, and you're the only guy that we go on tour together.

01:06:01.000 It'll be me and you, and we'll be late night, and you'll go, you're hungry?

01:06:04.000 And I'll go, yeah.

01:06:05.000 But usually I'll go, I'll just, you know, whatever, eat something small and quick. 0.99

01:06:08.000 And you're like, let's go get a big fuck-off steak. 0.99

01:06:12.000 And we will. 0.97

01:06:13.000 Well, the good thing about going to big cities like New York or Chicago, there's always some weird spot that serves food real late, you know, four o'clock in the morning, kitchen's open till three.

01:06:25.000 You're like, really?

01:06:26.000 And if we call and they're like, I'm like, I'm kind of like, Joe.

01:06:29.000 They're like, okay, we're open.

01:06:30.000 We're open.

01:06:31.000 We just reopened.

01:06:32.000 We closed, but we reopened.

01:06:33.000 We've had that happen a couple times.

01:06:34.000 That was very nice.

01:06:35.000 It's been great.

01:06:36.000 Yeah.

01:06:36.000 It's been great.

01:06:37.000 That was Dallas, right?

01:06:38.000 Didn't we do something like that in Dallas?

01:06:39.000 Was it in Dallas?

01:06:40.000 Dude, the days are...

01:06:41.000 I'm bad with that overware. 0.99

01:06:43.000 Late night's take after a fucking great show. 0.99

01:06:45.000 Nice. 0.99

01:06:46.000 No, it is the best.

01:06:47.000 Late night eating has changed.

01:06:49.000 Comedy will change the way you eat. 0.99

01:06:51.000 It's so funny when you're young in comedy, you eat a certain way because you don't have any fucking money. 0.90

01:06:56.000 And then when you get along in your career, you get to eat better and you eat so different. 0.94

01:07:01.000 Your hours change.

01:07:02.000 It's so weird. 0.92

01:07:03.000 Like when people ask me what time I eat lunch or breakfast, I'm like, all that shit is depending on where I am and where I'm going. 0.94

01:07:07.000 People say it's not good to eat late at night. 0.98

01:07:10.000 And I think really, it's just food.

01:07:14.000 I think the real problem is eating too much food.

01:07:16.000 So when I eat late at night, I don't eat the next day until like 1 in the afternoon or later.

01:07:22.000 I don't eat breakfast most of the time if I eat late at night.

01:07:25.000 I get up and I work out.

01:07:26.000 I do something.

01:07:27.000 I might not eat until 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

01:07:29.000 Right.

01:07:29.000 Don't they say it's what you eat?

01:07:30.000 It's not when you eat. 1.00

01:07:31.000 Yeah, if you're eating bullshit. 0.99

01:07:32.000 It is a little bit when you eat. 0.99

01:07:33.000 I mean, if you eat and then just go to sleep, that's not the best.

01:07:35.000 It really should be moving around.

01:07:36.000 Your body could probably digest things better.

01:07:38.000 Yeah.

01:07:40.000 The real problem is what you eat. 1.00

01:07:42.000 When you're on the road, man, it's so easy to eat bullshit. 0.99

01:07:45.000 I know. 1.00

01:07:46.000 It's so easy to fuck off and start eating candy and eat whatever nonsense trail mix you see at the fucking... 1.00

01:07:53.000 There's bullshit everywhere. 1.00

01:07:54.000 Yeah, you could pretend the trail mix is nutritious because it's got nuts in it. 1.00

01:07:58.000 Right.

01:07:58.000 It's got M&Ms.

01:07:59.000 Yeah, you just ate three bags of M&Ms, though.

01:08:01.000 Yeah, you ate so many M&Ms.

01:08:03.000 And then, you know, some of them have chocolate chips in them.

01:08:06.000 Yeah.

01:08:06.000 Even better.

01:08:07.000 That's the best version.

01:08:09.000 That's not good for you.

01:08:10.000 None of that stuff's good for you.

01:08:11.000 No, and especially because when I go on the road, you know, like I like the sauce.

01:08:13.000 So if I go to a bar.

01:08:14.000 The sauce.

01:08:15.000 I'm going to have the sauce and I'm going to have a couple of wings.

01:08:18.000 It's a part of the thing.

01:08:19.000 Yeah.

01:08:20.000 It's just so hard to not do that, you know?

01:08:23.000 Well, especially after you're tired.

01:08:24.000 See, the thing about those shows, too, is like, especially when we have nights where we do two shows.

01:08:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:28.000 You're fucking cooked. 0.99

01:08:29.000 Yeah, you're tired. 1.00

01:08:30.000 You know, you put out a lot of energy and there's a lot of concentration involved.

01:08:33.000 There's a lot of anticipation.

01:08:34.000 And then when they're over... 1.00

01:08:36.000 And then you're like, fuck, I'm hungry. 0.98

01:08:38.000 Because if we do two shows, that means we're going to do an 8 and a 10. I mean, the 10 is over at midnight-ish. 0.98

01:08:45.000 We're going to eat somewhere around 1. That means we're not eating between...

01:08:50.000 I won't eat two hours before a show, so that means I ate at 6. Right.

01:08:55.000 So, you know, it's like 7, 8 hours later, you're fucking starving. 0.99

01:08:59.000 Yeah, you're ravaged. 0.99

01:09:00.000 You're starving.

01:09:01.000 Last time we did that, when me, you, and Tony were together, we ate at 4.30, we had dinner.

01:09:05.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:09:06.000 It's like Austin fucking geriatrics eating dinner and then 1.30 in the morning. 0.99

01:09:10.000 But if you do that, you get real fuel for the show. 1.00

01:09:13.000 Eating right before a show is the kiss of death.

01:09:16.000 Can't do it.

01:09:16.000 Yeah, it just slows you too down.

01:09:18.000 Too much.

01:09:19.000 Yeah, it slows you down too much.

01:09:21.000 It gets too heavy.

01:09:21.000 And I'm trying to be more focused on, like, when I get to the hotel, I just go right to the gym.

01:09:27.000 Yep, that's what you gotta do.

01:09:28.000 It's so painful.

01:09:28.000 But it's a thing you have to do.

01:09:30.000 Like, this is what I do.

01:09:31.000 I don't have an option.

01:09:32.000 You go straight to the gym. 1.00

01:09:33.000 If you give yourself an option, you'll fuck off. 1.00

01:09:35.000 You're fucked. 1.00

01:09:35.000 Well, I used to just get to the hotel, jerk off, and then nap. 1.00

01:09:38.000 Right? 0.97

01:09:39.000 Every single time. 1.00

01:09:39.000 I'd go, I'm gonna nap, and jerk off. 1.00

01:09:41.000 There's no way I'm not gonna do this. 1.00

01:09:43.000 And now I jerk off in the gym. 0.88

01:09:44.000 The other thing is I always have phone calls that I have to make or emails I have to answer. 0.99

01:09:48.000 And if I start fucking around with those things, it could be an hour later and then I watch a YouTube video. 0.92

01:09:53.000 Is that real? 0.99

01:09:53.000 Then I have to Google it. 0.99

01:09:54.000 How the fuck? 0.99

01:09:55.000 And the next thing you know, I'm down a rabbit hole and it's an hour and a half later and I'll tell myself, yeah, but I think I've got a good bit of this fucking... 1.00

01:10:03.000 This praying mantis bit is going to kill. 0.99

01:10:05.000 These Mongols with their flying eagles that they use to kill wolves. 1.00

01:10:08.000 I think there's something in that.

01:10:09.000 But it does do. 1.00

01:10:10.000 Sometimes you do get such a good bit from going down these stupid little wormholes for no reason. 0.99

01:10:14.000 Yeah, how did people ever even write jokes in the 80s? 0.99

01:10:17.000 I don't even know how I did it.

01:10:18.000 There was so much more observational humor.

01:10:21.000 There was so much more observational humor.

01:10:22.000 That's like the Seinfeld era of like, by the bus, you get on a bus, you get in a train.

01:10:28.000 That's why airplane jokes got quote-unquote played out because it was like, that's all people had. 0.98

01:10:33.000 There was no fucking internet. 0.92

01:10:34.000 They weren't walking around with the internet in their pocket. 0.99

01:10:36.000 And comics would always talk about airplanes because they were always traveling.

01:10:39.000 So it would be hotel, room service, knock-knock, do not disturb, like all these themes.

01:10:44.000 What does do not disturb mean in Spanish?

01:10:47.000 LOL! The maid comes in. 1.00

01:10:51.000 I'm coming.

01:10:52.000 We're all coming!

01:10:54.000 I know you sound like we're shitting on Seinfeld, like I'm doing an impression of Jerry, but I'm not just the idea.

01:11:00.000 That era was like there was limited subject matter.

01:11:03.000 There was limited things to talk about.

01:11:05.000 Do you think that bubble, that comedy bubble from then is the same as now or now is bigger?

01:11:11.000 I don't think the bubble's the same.

01:11:13.000 I think the bubble that people had in the 80s, it's like people were just falling in love with stand-up comedy.

01:11:18.000 This is what we have to realize, and this is where it's really crazy.

01:11:22.000 It's really hard to imagine, but this is true. 0.99

01:11:25.000 When you think about the bubble, let's go back to 1980, stand-up comedy, and Jerry Seinfeld, please welcome this guy and that guy, and all these different comics that were really popular in the 80s.

01:11:38.000 That was only 40 years ago, okay?

01:11:41.000 So you go 40 years before them, you have nothing.

01:11:44.000 You have no stand-up.

01:11:46.000 Right.

01:11:46.000 I mean, you literally have jokes.

01:11:47.000 You have guys who do MC work at different clubs, they'll bring up a band, and then they'll do like the Don Rickles thing, they'll pick on guys in the audience.

01:11:55.000 And then Lenny Bruce comes along in the 50s, in the late 50s and the 60s, and Lenny Bruce gets arrested a bunch of times for talking, for explaining things, for...

01:12:04.000 Talking about how he really sees things, for using words that are forbidden, for talking about subjects that are taboo.

01:12:11.000 He does a different thing.

01:12:12.000 Nobody had done that before.

01:12:13.000 There's this new thing.

01:12:14.000 And then Mort Sahl does political humor, and then George Carlin changes from being this Johnny Carson-type seven-minute set on late-night TV guy with a suit on to being this hippie who talks about the dirty words you can't use on television,

01:12:30.000 the seven dirty words.

01:12:31.000 And everything shifted, but that didn't happen that long ago.

01:12:35.000 So in the 1980s, people still didn't understand what it was.

01:12:38.000 So a guy would go on stage, and he looked like a comedian, so he assumed he was a comedian, because he knew how to talk like a comedian.

01:12:46.000 He's like, what's going on?

01:12:48.000 What is this?

01:12:48.000 Wild Kingdom taking place in my house.

01:12:51.000 I got a cat.

01:12:52.000 I got a mouse.

01:12:53.000 Let's get them together.

01:12:54.000 Like there was comedy that wasn't really comedy.

01:12:56.000 It's like they were almost like premise merchants and they never figured out how to bring it to real comedy.

01:13:03.000 They just had a bunch of tricks and a bunch of like half duct taped premises but they sounded like a comedian.

01:13:11.000 I mean I told my wife if that's what you need to do you go right ahead.

01:13:16.000 And then everybody rushes.

01:13:19.000 Nobody laughs really hard, but they get that there's a rhythm going on.

01:13:23.000 They think they should go along with it.

01:13:24.000 Those guys get into the workplace, right?

01:13:27.000 They become part of the ecosystem, and they actually had careers.

01:13:31.000 But their boats start taking water, and they drown, and they all sink.

01:13:35.000 And they all went away.

01:13:36.000 If you go back to those days of the 80s and the early 90s, there was a whole bunch of comedians that were doing some weird thing.

01:13:45.000 They were mimicking the sound of stand-up comedians and talking about things that comedians talk about. 0.99

01:13:51.000 But they were missing, like, you know when you have cement, you gotta add a bunch of shit? 0.99

01:13:56.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:13:56.000 But if you only add three of those things, you just get this, what is this? 0.98

01:14:00.000 That's what they have, missing something.

01:14:03.000 So that was a different boom.

01:14:04.000 That was like people didn't know what comedy was.

01:14:06.000 Like, we're gonna go see some comedy.

01:14:08.000 We're at the local comedy hut, and here comes the guy with the tie and the rolled up sleeves.

01:14:11.000 Hey! 0.99

01:14:12.000 But now they're obsessed.

01:14:14.000 Now it's an obsession.

01:14:15.000 Now comedy's become like this.

01:14:17.000 The fandom, I think, is something that I can't articulate.

01:14:21.000 It's wild to watch.

01:14:22.000 It's definitely different.

01:14:24.000 I mean, you've seen way more than I have in that sense.

01:14:27.000 But even when I first started in comedy, the fandom wasn't the same.

01:14:31.000 People didn't lose it like they do now when they meet all of these comics and go see them live.

01:14:36.000 I think it's a good thing.

01:14:38.000 It's just wild to see it's become...

01:14:42.000 Bigger than stand-up a little bit.

01:14:43.000 It is a weird thing.

01:14:45.000 It's a weird thing for sure.

01:14:46.000 But I think one of the things that's different is how prolific the comics of today are and how much stuff they're putting out.

01:14:53.000 If you look at a guy like Burr or Ali Wong or...

01:14:58.000 I mean, look at anybody who...

01:14:59.000 Segura, someone who regularly cranks out really good specials.

01:15:03.000 Like, the output's incredible.

01:15:05.000 Yeah, no, it's way stronger.

01:15:07.000 Every two years or so, they're putting out this murderous new special, and they're constantly working at it.

01:15:12.000 And that just didn't happen before.

01:15:15.000 And Binder was talking to me about that.

01:15:17.000 Binder is doing that documentary on the comic store.

01:15:19.000 Yeah, I did something important.

01:15:19.000 We were talking about how he was saying that those days people didn't work that hard.

01:15:24.000 They had one special, maybe, and then the next special would be years later if they ever had one again.

01:15:29.000 And they would have material that just was tried and true, and they would stick with it.

01:15:33.000 And he's like, I come in here and I see these guys just constantly cranking over and turning over new material.

01:15:38.000 And it's just a different kind of thing.

01:15:42.000 And those guys that I was talking about that were around before that kind of sounded like comedians, but they were missing something.

01:15:48.000 You know what they're really missing?

01:15:50.000 Embracing it as an art form.

01:15:51.000 They were using it as a way to try to get a sitcom. 0.98

01:15:54.000 They were using it as a way to try to get fame and to try to get success.

01:15:58.000 But they weren't in love with the idea of being an artist.

01:16:01.000 They weren't in love with the idea of crafting a new bit and trying it and tweaking it and getting it going and making it happen.

01:16:07.000 What am I doing wrong?

01:16:08.000 What am I doing right?

01:16:08.000 What should I do more of?

01:16:09.000 What should I do less of? 0.99

01:16:10.000 And then putting it all together in this fucking, like you're using alchemy, man. 0.99

01:16:14.000 You've got a sorceress hat on. 1.00

01:16:16.000 You're mixing this bitch together to boom! 1.00

01:16:18.000 All of a sudden it gets this big giant laugh. 1.00

01:16:20.000 Like you've conjured up some magic and you can get that big pop.

01:16:24.000 Yeah, the chemistry is unbelievable.

01:16:25.000 When it works... 1.00

01:16:26.000 Also, when you say a joke one different way and you're like, fuck. 1.00

01:16:29.000 And it doesn't go the way that it's supposed to go. 0.99

01:16:31.000 I do that all the time on purpose and ruin jokes just to see if there's a better way. 0.97

01:16:36.000 I'm like, fuck, why'd I rearrange the words? 0.94

01:16:38.000 But you have to think you have a certain number of sets, right? 0.98

01:16:40.000 If you don't rearrange the words sometimes, you don't know that magic spot.

01:16:44.000 Like, you miss the magic spot.

01:16:46.000 You know, it's like you ever...

01:16:48.000 I accidentally almost give your missus the old one in the old bum hole because you're looking for the spot and you missed a spot and you're like, hey! 0.98

01:16:55.000 Well, that's what I tell her.

01:16:56.000 I go, I was on accident.

01:16:57.000 Whoops!

01:16:58.000 Nah, it was purpose.

01:16:59.000 Oh my god.

01:16:59.000 I was aiming.

01:16:59.000 You shouldn't say that on the internet.

01:17:02.000 No, I don't let her listen to stuff.

01:17:03.000 Oh! 0.60

01:17:04.000 Yeah, she's not allowed to listen to anything.

01:17:05.000 She stays in her cage.

01:17:06.000 Jamie, don't laugh at that.

01:17:07.000 That's not funny, dude.

01:17:08.000 Okay?

01:17:08.000 That is not funny.

01:17:09.000 I keep her where she belongs.

01:17:10.000 You know what, Jamie?

01:17:10.000 I think you're allowed to laugh because I don't think he means what he's saying.

01:17:13.000 I think what he's doing is called talking shit. 0.99

01:17:15.000 Dead serious. 1.00

01:17:16.000 I think he's talking shit, and it's confusing. 1.00

01:17:20.000 It confuses me sometimes. 0.99

01:17:21.000 You're right, though, that the goal was, like, could I get a TV special from it or a TV series?

01:17:29.000 Yeah.

01:17:30.000 It's changed so much that, like...

01:17:32.000 Bro, those guys wanted to make it.

01:17:33.000 Yeah.

01:17:34.000 You know, they wanted to be in.

01:17:35.000 They wanted to be accepted.

01:17:36.000 They were on the outside, and they were hungry and ambitious, and then they wanted to make it.

01:17:40.000 Right.

01:17:40.000 And then they got in.

01:17:41.000 And when they got in, they were, you know, like, Kinnison doing the fucking intro to a Jon Bon Jovi video. 1.00

01:17:46.000 That kind of shit. 1.00

01:17:47.000 Like, you're partying with those guys. 1.00

01:17:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:17:49.000 They wanted to be...

01:17:50.000 You're in.

01:17:50.000 Fame was so much more appealing back then.

01:17:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:52.000 Ladies and gentlemen, you know, please welcome Sam Kinnison.

01:17:55.000 Da-da-da-da! 0.96

01:17:58.000 Right.

01:17:58.000 And he'd raise his arms.

01:17:59.000 Hey, ladies and gentlemen, hey!

01:18:01.000 You know, and sit down on the couch.

01:18:03.000 It's like, you're famous.

01:18:04.000 Yeah.

01:18:04.000 That's what people wanted.

01:18:05.000 They wanted to be the famous guy who did shows, and you did shows.

01:18:09.000 Like, even Jenny, who was one of my personal favorites, who was, in my opinion, one of the great...

01:18:14.000 Richard Jennings. 0.98

01:18:15.000 Richard Jennings was a fucking amazing comic. 0.99

01:18:17.000 He hated it, man. 0.98

01:18:18.000 He didn't want to do The Road.

01:18:20.000 He wanted a sitcom.

01:18:21.000 He wanted to be a movie star.

01:18:22.000 He wanted to be Jim Carrey or Tom Cruise or someone on a sitcom.

01:18:26.000 He wanted to be Seinfeld. 1.00

01:18:27.000 It's funny because I do TV sometimes and you give me shit about it all the fucking time. 0.99

01:18:32.000 But it pales in comparison to the way I feel about stand-up. 0.98

01:18:37.000 But it is something I still love, the performance of it.

01:18:40.000 But if you said it'd be gun to my face, there's no way I would give up.

01:18:45.000 I mean, I just couldn't do it.

01:18:46.000 I mean, my goal, if my ultimate goal, if someone's like, what is the ultimate goal?

01:18:50.000 Is to tour for as long as I can to crowds that are there to see me.

01:18:56.000 To me, there is nothing I could do on TV. There's no fucking Quentin Tarantino role I could ever get that would feel as good... 0.93

01:19:06.000 As being in a room with people that fucking paid money to watch you do it, no way. 1.00

01:19:11.000 I would give up the other shit in a heartbeat. 1.00

01:19:13.000 No, of course, but there's nothing wrong with doing the other shit. 1.00

01:19:15.000 If you enjoy doing it, I give you a hard time because it's fun to give you a hard time. 0.99

01:19:18.000 I know. 0.99

01:19:18.000 You love shitting on me about doing that stuff. 0.99

01:19:20.000 Yeah, but look, I got to do Curb Your Enthusiasm with Larry David. 0.99

01:19:23.000 Oh, that's different. 0.95

01:19:23.000 I would never shit on you for that. 0.95

01:19:24.000 That was a pinnacle for my life. 0.88

01:19:25.000 That's a different thing.

01:19:25.000 Yeah, I told them I would have paid them money.

01:19:28.000 Only a few times have I been so into a thing where I push my agents and go, I'll fucking, I'll lose a lot of money just to have the opportunity to try it. 0.81

01:19:37.000 Yeah, of course. 0.80

01:19:38.000 Like Galifianakis' show Baskets on FX, I used to love that show.

01:19:41.000 I mean, it's a great show.

01:19:43.000 I'm not used to, but I even said, I said, tell them I will do anything. 0.96

01:19:47.000 I'll be in the background because I think that show is so fucking good.

01:19:51.000 Did you ever watch it? 0.97

01:19:52.000 No, I haven't heard of it.

01:19:53.000 God, it was so...

01:19:53.000 I just heard of it just now for the first time.

01:19:55.000 What is it?

01:19:56.000 It was a show on FX that Galifian X created.

01:19:57.000 Oh, it's not on anymore?

01:19:58.000 I don't know if they're still doing it.

01:20:00.000 I don't know if it's still on.

01:20:01.000 I'm disconnected right now.

01:20:02.000 I love Zach, though.

01:20:03.000 It's just you can't keep up.

01:20:05.000 There's too many things on.

01:20:05.000 That's the problem.

01:20:06.000 I don't know what's on and what's going and what's coming anymore.

01:20:08.000 They're passing by you in the night.

01:20:11.000 Working with Larry was one of those moments of making him break.

01:20:16.000 That's what it really is.

01:20:17.000 Making that guy laugh to me was like...

01:20:19.000 Yeah, he's Larry David, man.

01:20:21.000 He's a wizard.

01:20:23.000 Yeah.

01:20:24.000 He's a guy who I can tell...

01:20:26.000 His comedy was perfect for this and not the stage.

01:20:29.000 You know how they talk about how he's not a good stand-up?

01:20:32.000 Yeah.

01:20:32.000 You know why.

01:20:33.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:20:34.000 When you meet a comedian and you go, I know why you're not a stand-up, but you're great at this thing.

01:20:39.000 Yeah.

01:20:39.000 That's exactly what he is.

01:20:41.000 He's a genius with this live interactive aspect of acting comedy.

01:20:45.000 He's so good at that and writing the scenes.

01:20:48.000 Thank God he found it, man.

01:20:48.000 Yeah, it's wild.

01:20:49.000 Thank God he found it.

01:20:50.000 But I have seen those tapes of him doing old stand-up.

01:20:53.000 Yeah.

01:20:54.000 Yeah.

01:20:55.000 Yeah, I've seen some clips.

01:20:57.000 He, you know, I bet he made the comics laugh.

01:21:00.000 I bet it was one of those things.

01:21:02.000 He was a comics comic for sure.

01:21:03.000 Yeah, I bet if we were in the back of the room, we'd be howling. 0.99

01:21:04.000 Do you know who's on top of his fucking game right now? 0.99

01:21:06.000 David Tell. 0.99

01:21:08.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:21:08.000 Jesus Christ.

01:21:09.000 I don't think I've ever...

01:21:10.000 I rarely see him miss.

01:21:11.000 Did you see him at the improv last week?

01:21:13.000 No, I watched him and Ross at the store when they were both in town.

01:21:15.000 Tony and I did a show at the improv last Wednesday, and Attell did the late show. 0.98

01:21:23.000 God damn, he was good. 0.98

01:21:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:24.000 God damn, he was good. 1.00

01:21:26.000 He was so funny and so silly. 1.00

01:21:28.000 He's effortless. 0.99

01:21:28.000 Effortless. 0.99

01:21:28.000 And it's so... 0.99

01:21:29.000 It's just... 0.93

01:21:30.000 It's all silly. 0.72

01:21:31.000 Yeah. 0.89

01:21:31.000 Like, it's jokes go into jokes go into jokes. 0.89

01:21:33.000 Right.

01:21:34.000 He hasn't changed his sensibilities because of all the woke backlash.

01:21:40.000 It's still balls-out comedy, really well-written stuff, really funny, and just such a good guy, man.

01:21:46.000 I think he's reminding everybody we're still comedians.

01:21:49.000 We're just comics.

01:21:51.000 Most of us realize that.

01:21:52.000 The ones who've backed off, they're the ones who have a deep...

01:22:00.000 Yeah.

01:22:13.000 Well, because they know that it's a threat to them.

01:22:16.000 It's self-policing.

01:22:17.000 And they'll still talk like that in the green room.

01:22:20.000 They'll still make you laugh in the green room.

01:22:22.000 But they're scared.

01:22:23.000 You know, everyone's scared of getting called out now for jokes, which is just... 0.95

01:22:28.000 I mean, I get that people haven't decided to make this distinction, but there's a giant distinction between someone talking about something because this is their actual feelings on something, and someone saying ridiculous shit that they don't really believe because it's funny.

01:22:43.000 And when you stop that in any way, as soon as you try to step that for yourself, or if you're trying to get someone else to stop it, what you're really doing is you're enforcing a particular, very narrow band of behavior.

01:22:57.000 And if you get stuck in that narrow band of behavior, it's real hard to see outside of it. 0.90

01:23:03.000 It's real hard to see that this is ridiculous.

01:23:05.000 And as a comic, when you see comics getting mad that other comics are touching on certain subjects or using certain language, it's like, oh... 0.75

01:23:16.000 You're missing the whole thing.

01:23:17.000 You missed the whole thing.

01:23:19.000 That's a mole.

01:23:19.000 I feel like that's a mole inside of the operation.

01:23:21.000 When someone's like, I don't like when he does that stuff.

01:23:24.000 And you're like, oh no, man. 1.00

01:23:25.000 I can't believe you're still saying bitch. 1.00

01:23:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:28.000 Yeah.

01:23:29.000 Do you know the depth of what that word means for people?

01:23:31.000 Do you know what that does?

01:23:31.000 That's my favorite.

01:23:32.000 Do you know what that does? 0.92

01:23:33.000 Please tell me, chubby white guy. 0.84

01:23:35.000 Please tell me.

01:23:36.000 Well, that's like, there was a dude, there's a guy who had a great tweet.

01:23:39.000 I don't want to say his name because, you know, I don't know if he wants it out or whatever, but like, he basically had a tweet and he got a lot of backlash from the community because he was like, all these East Side comics that used to shit on the comedy store for a lack of quote-unquote diversity, they're the same people.

01:23:52.000 And he's an East Side guy. 0.97

01:23:53.000 He goes, as one, I'm saying, these are the same guys that get, you know, that pay no mind to the fact that we're living in a gentrified, used-to-be Mexican neighborhood and our audiences are all fucking white dudes with beards that look the same. 0.99

01:24:04.000 Bah! 1.00

01:24:05.000 And he got a lot of shit, but I was like, yeah, fuck. 1.00

01:24:07.000 And I hit him up, and I was like, yeah, you're right, though. 1.00

01:24:10.000 This old idea that the store used to be, it's just a bro-bro hangout, and it's all there is.

01:24:15.000 It's like, dude, there's so many different kinds of people on that lineup.

01:24:19.000 Way more than you see when you go to other shows.

01:24:21.000 The only people that say that are the people that can't work there.

01:24:23.000 It's very simple.

01:24:24.000 Yeah, it's jealousy, yeah.

01:24:25.000 It's 100% jealousy.

01:24:25.000 People are mad, yeah.

01:24:26.000 I mean, there's people that think that maybe there's a style that you see at the comedy store that they don't appreciate.

01:24:31.000 That's okay, but the styles, it varies so much from Jeslenek to Dahlia to you to Hinchcliffe to Diaz to Owen Smith.

01:24:40.000 Sklarbrother. 0.98

01:24:41.000 You're talking about people that—this is all over the fucking map. 0.99

01:24:43.000 It's all over the map, yeah. 0.99

01:24:45.000 You know what I mean?

01:24:45.000 I think that's why I love the tweet.

01:24:48.000 Laura Beetz or Ally Makovsky.

01:24:50.000 There's so many different sort of styles of comedy out of that place now.

01:24:54.000 Right.

01:24:55.000 You can't say it's all bros.

01:24:56.000 That's nonsense.

01:24:57.000 It's just good comics.

01:24:58.000 That was the old way, which I'm glad he was being... 0.90

01:25:00.000 He was like, no. 0.99

01:25:02.000 These people are just free-thinking, pushing out new, weird, fucked-up, sometimes challenging shit because the store supports it. 0.99

01:25:10.000 That's all it is. 0.99

01:25:11.000 It's like now we finally have a place where it's like...

01:25:13.000 You could say it there.

01:25:15.000 There's no freedom in suppressing people's ability to express themselves.

01:25:19.000 You just create an environment where everybody's scared to be themselves or everybody's scared to take chances.

01:25:23.000 If you're scared to take chances, look...

01:25:26.000 If you don't push the boundaries, you don't find out where they are.

01:25:29.000 You create your own boundaries.

01:25:31.000 When you're doing material and you're trying to come up with a bit, sometimes a bit in the beginning is highly offensive, but then you turn it into something that everybody accepts and it's great.

01:25:42.000 This was the real argument for Louis C.K. when Louis C.K. had a recording of his Leaked.

01:25:50.000 We're good to go.

01:26:11.000 That was a seed.

01:26:12.000 He's working it out.

01:26:13.000 That was not a plant. 0.99

01:26:13.000 He wasn't delivering a fucking origami plant. 0.99

01:26:16.000 No. 0.99

01:26:17.000 What's those called?

01:26:17.000 The little small ones.

01:26:18.000 What?

01:26:19.000 They're not origami.

01:26:21.000 Bonsai.

01:26:22.000 He wasn't delivering a perfectly trimmed bonsai.

01:26:24.000 I'm like origami.

01:26:25.000 Yeah.

01:26:26.000 Perfectly trimmed bonsai tree that they sell on the side of the road.

01:26:29.000 Yeah.

01:26:29.000 This was a seed.

01:26:31.000 Right.

01:26:31.000 That could have been an incredible bit.

01:26:33.000 Because it's already kind of funny that these people that are on television all the time are the survivors of a school shooting, and that they might just be survivors.

01:26:43.000 They don't necessarily have to be interesting.

01:26:45.000 Now, he didn't, in his defense, have any time to prepare.

01:26:49.000 He had 10 months of no stand-up, then he just does stand-up, and he gets some laughs off this premise. 0.99

01:26:53.000 That premise in six months could have been a fucking nuclear bomb. 0.99

01:26:57.000 Right. 0.99

01:26:58.000 He would have figured out a way to expose how goofy it is that just because someone survives a massacre, we want to parade them on CNN every couple weeks and ask their opinion about gun control and about various things.

01:27:13.000 He's right. 0.93

01:27:14.000 Look, someone's going to have a fucking great bit about Greta Thunberg. 0.97

01:27:17.000 It's the same thing. 0.98

01:27:18.000 You've got some 16-year-old kid that seems weird to begin with, and then she's on TV going, how dare you?

01:27:26.000 And you're like, what is this?

01:27:27.000 And then you keep seeing her over and over and over again.

01:27:29.000 Who's putting her on TV over and over and over again? 1.00

01:27:32.000 You fucking people are. 1.00

01:27:33.000 What are you doing? 1.00

01:27:34.000 In a lot of ways, it's kind of the same.

01:27:37.000 Why is she interesting? 1.00

01:27:38.000 Because she's 16 and dealing with climate change as opposed to him, who's 29, or her, who's 50, or him, who's 82. Like, what are we talking about?

01:27:46.000 She's got some random person who wants to say how dare you about climate change? 1.00

01:27:50.000 And they're gonna stop going to school until someone does something about it?

01:27:53.000 They're on strike?

01:27:54.000 Like, what?

01:27:55.000 Is this really what's on the news?

01:27:56.000 It's just a ploy for her to get out of going to school. 0.94

01:27:58.000 She's like, I don't like school.

01:27:59.000 They're like, you don't have to if you can sail around the world.

01:28:01.000 I just think that whole thing about they find what works for them categorically because she's a good look, and they're like, push her, push her, push her, push her.

01:28:10.000 See, that's why when you go back to Louie's bed about the school shootings, yes, it's gross to make fun of someone who survived a school shooting, but that's what he does.

01:28:20.000 He tells jokes in the moment.

01:28:22.000 You know that he's saying something that's awful that you're not supposed to say, so you laugh.

01:28:27.000 It's not how he really feels. 0.99

01:28:29.000 So for you and comics to pretend that that's how he really feels, that's fucking disgusting what you're doing. 0.98

01:28:36.000 Yeah, they know better. 0.96

01:28:37.000 Not only do you know, you're being deceptive, or you really don't understand comedy, in which case you should stop.

01:28:43.000 Just stop doing it, because you don't understand it.

01:28:46.000 And you also don't understand the process, or you're at least...

01:28:49.000 I bet if you asked him...

01:28:51.000 Like, is that ready for Netflix release?

01:28:53.000 He'll be like, no!

01:28:54.000 No way.

01:28:54.000 I haven't done comedy in 10 months.

01:28:55.000 I was hoping that bit would come into something.

01:28:57.000 These are notes he's going off of, right?

01:28:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:59.000 He wrote shit down. 1.00

01:29:00.000 He had some ideas. 1.00

01:29:01.000 Trying it out. 0.97

01:29:02.000 He finally gets on stage to fuck around with it and somebody records it and puts it on YouTube. 0.99

01:29:06.000 Well, he's... 0.98

01:29:06.000 Apparently, I haven't seen him, but from the grapevine, I've heard that he's touring. 0.98

01:29:11.000 Murdering.

01:29:12.000 His new hour is murderous. 0.99

01:29:13.000 Murdering.

01:29:13.000 Of course he is.

01:29:14.000 And I'm curious to know what platform or where he's going to go with it, right?

01:29:17.000 He's got to be independent, I'm sure.

01:29:19.000 I think he's going to release it on his website.

01:29:20.000 Right, because people are too afraid.

01:29:22.000 He's recording very soon.

01:29:23.000 Oh, he is?

01:29:24.000 Yeah.

01:29:25.000 Allegedly.

01:29:26.000 Maybe I know something.

01:29:27.000 Oh, yeah?

01:29:28.000 Look, I want to see it.

01:29:29.000 I want to see it before he records it.

01:29:31.000 But listen.

01:29:32.000 I mean, we could talk about him until you blew in the face.

01:29:34.000 Right.

01:29:35.000 And I think, you know, leave the guy alone.

01:29:39.000 I don't know what happened those nights. 1.00

01:29:42.000 I know he has a very different story than the story that's been depicted in the media, and I know he definitely did some stupid shit you shouldn't do. 1.00

01:29:48.000 Sure. 1.00

01:29:48.000 But he didn't block any doors. 1.00

01:29:49.000 He didn't tell anybody they have to do it.

01:29:52.000 He didn't try to scare anybody. 0.99

01:29:52.000 He asked if he could jerk off in front of people. 0.99

01:29:55.000 Is it gross? 1.00

01:29:56.000 100%.

01:29:57.000 He would say so.

01:29:58.000 He has jokes about it.

01:30:01.000 Did he apologize?

01:30:03.000 Some people don't think he apologized enough, but I don't even think we know the whole story.

01:30:08.000 Well, that's the thing.

01:30:10.000 We're so in the dark about what really happened.

01:30:13.000 It's like we have an idea that we think would happen, but no one really knows.

01:30:15.000 He hit the perfect moment on the wave.

01:30:17.000 Oh my God.

01:30:18.000 He hit the perfect moment on the Me Too wave. 0.73

01:30:20.000 That Me Too wave. 1.00

01:30:21.000 Harvey Weinstein was like a fucking hurricane force wind behind his back. 1.00

01:30:26.000 He's out in the North Shore of Hawaii. 1.00

01:30:31.000 He's going to catch one now. 0.99

01:30:32.000 The biggest fucking Me Too wave just swallows him whole. 0.99

01:30:35.000 It would have been a gross thing anywhere else in history. 1.00

01:30:38.000 Sure.

01:30:38.000 But at that moment, I mean...

01:30:40.000 Shut it down.

01:30:41.000 There was a moment where he went on stage at Skankfest, and the audience went crazy.

01:30:45.000 I saw.

01:30:46.000 They cheered and went crazy. 1.00

01:30:47.000 And I either retweeted it or liked it, and someone went, Fuck you! 1.00

01:30:51.000 He sexually assaulted women! 1.00

01:30:53.000 Like... 0.97

01:30:54.000 No, he didn't.

01:30:56.000 No one ever said he did that.

01:30:58.000 He definitely didn't do that. 0.99

01:30:59.000 He asked if he could jerk off, and he did. 0.96

01:31:01.000 Do you think he shouldn't have done that? 0.99

01:31:03.000 Yes, I agree.

01:31:04.000 He shouldn't have done that.

01:31:05.000 But he did that, and then that's it.

01:31:07.000 That's what he did.

01:31:08.000 That's what he did.

01:31:09.000 If you think that's gross, yes, but that's what he did.

01:31:11.000 There's other allegations that disturb people that maybe someone from his management did something to stifle the career of someone else. 0.99

01:31:19.000 That's fucked up. 0.99

01:31:20.000 If that's true, that is fucked up. 0.99

01:31:21.000 I do not know if that's true. 0.98

01:31:22.000 Here's the biggest problem, again.

01:31:24.000 None of us know.

01:31:25.000 I don't know either.

01:31:26.000 I don't know that that's the truth.

01:31:27.000 I'd like to find that part out.

01:31:29.000 I don't know if that was because of him.

01:31:32.000 I don't know if the management did it without his knowledge.

01:31:34.000 I don't know if it ever happened at all.

01:31:36.000 I don't know if it's exaggerated because I know many of the things that were said about him were exaggerated.

01:31:41.000 Again, this is not exonerating him.

01:31:42.000 What he did was gross.

01:31:43.000 He thinks what he did was gross.

01:31:45.000 But it's like, what do you want?

01:31:46.000 You want him to never tell jokes again?

01:31:47.000 He's one of the best comedians of all time.

01:31:49.000 He acknowledges that what he did was wrong.

01:31:51.000 Like, at what point in time do we forgive people?

01:31:53.000 What point in time do we say someone was doing something fucked up and now they've paid this tremendous price emotionally, psychologically?

01:32:01.000 When do you let him out of jail, basically? 0.95

01:32:02.000 When do you let him out of jail?

01:32:03.000 What's the time?

01:32:04.000 I say let him out of jail.

01:32:05.000 Let him out.

01:32:06.000 Let him out of jail.

01:32:07.000 Free Lou.

01:32:10.000 It's a strange time for people with accusations and being mean and ganging on people online and bullying and activism and chaos.

01:32:24.000 There's so much noise.

01:32:26.000 It's so much of us interacting with each other simultaneously, too.

01:32:30.000 It's so hard to have peace these days.

01:32:33.000 Yeah.

01:32:35.000 On stage. 1.00

01:32:36.000 On stage, that's like the only way I get away from all the bullshit. 0.99

01:32:40.000 Especially because we're embedded in the internet. 0.99

01:32:41.000 That's the hardest part.

01:32:42.000 It is the hardest part.

01:32:43.000 Right now, we're doing it.

01:32:44.000 I was talking to Adam Curry about it yesterday.

01:32:46.000 We were talking about just outrage.

01:32:48.000 And he's like, you just really can't be in that all the time.

01:32:52.000 You can't subject yourself.

01:32:53.000 Because there's always something to argue about.

01:32:55.000 You'll never run out of topics. 1.00

01:32:56.000 No, you're fucked. 0.99

01:32:57.000 All you have to do is have a few topics that you like to argue about. 1.00

01:33:01.000 Let's just say you're a person, pro-First Amendment, pro-Second Amendment, pro-choice, pro-gay rights, pro-trans rights, pro-civil rights.

01:33:12.000 You just take those things that you feel very passionately about and then just put those hashtags online on Twitter and then go look for conversations and go to war.

01:33:25.000 Right.

01:33:25.000 That's what you do.

01:33:26.000 Yeah, you can do it all day.

01:33:27.000 You can do it all day.

01:33:28.000 You can go to war about the Second Amendment all day.

01:33:31.000 You can all day argue with gun nuts and people who hate guns.

01:33:33.000 You can take both sides.

01:33:34.000 You can have two different accounts. 0.99

01:33:35.000 You can have one account where you're like some fucking hillbilly who thinks everybody should have 80 guns or you go to jail. 0.97

01:33:41.000 Or you could have the other thing. 1.00

01:33:43.000 We need to trust our government and throw all the guns in a bolting pot and use them to make a statue with a giant penis. 0.98

01:33:50.000 We could literally argue all day long about immigrant rights, about whether or not they should detain them at the border. 0.98

01:33:58.000 You could be involved in that all day long.

01:34:00.000 I mean, you would never have a moment to sleep.

01:34:03.000 No.

01:34:03.000 If you just engaged with everybody who engaged with you, you'd never have a moment to sleep.

01:34:07.000 People do it.

01:34:07.000 That's what's crazy.

01:34:08.000 They do do it.

01:34:09.000 People spend endless amounts of time on it.

01:34:10.000 That's why I try to check out Twitter.

01:34:12.000 You know, it's like all those things.

01:34:13.000 Facebook I deleted.

01:34:16.000 All I want to use those things for is to promote what I'm doing tour-wise.

01:34:20.000 Like, hey, come see me. 0.98

01:34:21.000 And also make a couple of fucking fart jokes once in a while. 1.00

01:34:23.000 Like, it's worthless. 1.00

01:34:24.000 That's it. 0.98

01:34:25.000 I want to make some dumb jokes and then be like, come see me live. 0.98

01:34:28.000 I've stopped years ago engaging when people are like, is this how this is? 0.98

01:34:33.000 I'm like, never mind.

01:34:34.000 I don't want to get into it.

01:34:35.000 I just don't deal with it anymore.

01:34:37.000 Well, there's a number of people out there that are bored in their cubicle somewhere trying to get a rise out of you.

01:34:44.000 Yeah.

01:34:46.000 People are so bored.

01:34:48.000 Well, it's also because, you know, it's nice to be engaged.

01:34:52.000 You know what I think they compare it to?

01:34:54.000 It's like when they start flirting or dating somebody.

01:34:56.000 It's the same kind of engagement.

01:34:57.000 You get excited for the next piece of engagement, right?

01:34:59.000 Oh, right. 1.00

01:34:59.000 If you said something back then, like, oh, shit, I got him on the hook. 1.00

01:35:02.000 Yeah, trolling has become a new thing. 1.00

01:35:06.000 It's constant engagement.

01:35:07.000 It's the same kind of feeling you get when you start talking to someone that you're interested in. 0.99

01:35:11.000 You're like, holy fuck, and they're talking to me back? 0.99

01:35:13.000 And you get this tennis match of emotion. 1.00

01:35:16.000 So it becomes this heightened thing in your world now.

01:35:19.000 It's like a new thing to have.

01:35:20.000 You're like a big red snapper in clear water.

01:35:23.000 You're moving towards the Lord.

01:35:24.000 Holy but the Lord.

01:35:25.000 He bit a little bit. 1.00

01:35:26.000 Come on, you fuck. 1.00

01:35:28.000 Take a bite, you fuck. 1.00

01:35:29.000 Did you see Oprah fall down? 1.00

01:35:31.000 Yes, and it's honestly...

01:35:33.000 She's a little old to be falling down. 0.71

01:35:35.000 You loved it?

01:35:35.000 I loved it.

01:35:36.000 Wow.

01:35:37.000 Loved it.

01:35:37.000 She didn't get hurt.

01:35:38.000 You like when people get hurt.

01:35:38.000 She's fine.

01:35:39.000 She's dead.

01:35:40.000 She died? 0.81

01:35:40.000 Yes. 0.81

01:35:41.000 All right.

01:35:41.000 Ding dong.

01:35:42.000 The witch is dead. 0.93

01:35:43.000 No, she didn't. 0.71

01:35:44.000 She died from the fall? 1.00

01:35:46.000 Yeah, we're fucked. 1.00

01:35:46.000 No, she didn't die. 1.00

01:35:47.000 No, she's fine.

01:35:48.000 I just think like...

01:35:48.000 She looks like she got hurt.

01:35:50.000 It's nice to see billionaires fall.

01:35:52.000 How about that?

01:35:53.000 That's weird.

01:35:54.000 It's nice to see somebody...

01:35:55.000 No, it humanizes her. 1.00

01:35:56.000 She is such a figure of perfection.

01:35:59.000 Women should learn. 1.00

01:36:00.000 Those fucking shiny bottom shoes, them bitches are useless. 1.00

01:36:04.000 You can't wear those things. 1.00

01:36:05.000 They're so slippery.

01:36:06.000 Those really expensive shoes that the gals like would always have the shiny bottoms. 1.00

01:36:12.000 Here she is walking, and I believe she's talking about balance, which is L-O-L. The irony is staggering.

01:36:21.000 So, flat ground.

01:36:23.000 Oh, she bites the dust. 1.00

01:36:30.000 Let's see how she recovers. 0.90

01:36:33.000 She says, new shoes. 1.00

01:36:37.000 Oh, those rude fucks. 1.00

01:36:39.000 They edit it so she hits the ground over and over again. 1.00

01:36:42.000 Well, you know what?

01:36:42.000 I gotta say, I like how she framed with her elbow and then did a roll.

01:36:47.000 She absorbed a lot of energy in a roll.

01:36:49.000 Good technique, Ope.

01:36:50.000 Not bad.

01:36:51.000 Watch this.

01:36:51.000 Here we go.

01:36:52.000 Frame.

01:36:52.000 A little bit on the left hip.

01:36:54.000 That shit's probably sore. 0.99

01:36:55.000 But one thing you gotta say about Oprah, she works out a lot and she's got muscles. 1.00

01:37:01.000 She went and ran a marathon recently. 0.99

01:37:03.000 Does she?

01:37:04.000 I don't know this to be true.

01:37:05.000 I think she did a marathon in six hours. 1.00

01:37:06.000 Which is not the best time, but she still ran 26 fucking miles in a day. 1.00

01:37:09.000 Don't you think it's nice to see people fall? 0.98

01:37:11.000 It's humbling to watch someone fall?

01:37:13.000 I just think that's...

01:37:14.000 Four and a half hours.

01:37:14.000 Did she really?

01:37:15.000 Yeah.

01:37:16.000 That's an hour faster than Burt Kreischer. 1.00

01:37:17.000 Burt, you fat fuck. 1.00

01:37:17.000 That's about as fast as I could do it. 1.00

01:37:19.000 Really?

01:37:20.000 She didn't really run it, ran it four and a half hours?

01:37:22.000 429. How fast is that?

01:37:23.000 Like a mile?

01:37:24.000 1017. That's really good.

01:37:26.000 That's a good clip.

01:37:27.000 Wait a minute.

01:37:28.000 She's doing... 1.00

01:37:29.000 Better than you, bitch. 1.00

01:37:30.000 No way. 1.00

01:37:30.000 That's right. 1.00

01:37:31.000 Imagine you and Oprah in a race.

01:37:33.000 She's doing...

01:37:33.000 And she dusts you.

01:37:34.000 10 minute miles?

01:37:35.000 Yes. 1.00

01:37:36.000 26 of them, bitch. 1.00

01:37:37.000 So that's what? 1.00

01:37:37.000 6 miles an hour about? 1.00

01:37:39.000 Woo! 0.99

01:37:39.000 Yeah? 0.99

01:37:40.000 Let me tell you something.

01:37:41.000 Are you scared?

01:37:41.000 You scared?

01:37:42.000 Let me tell you something.

01:37:42.000 You feel a little nervous right now.

01:37:43.000 That was in 1994, though.

01:37:44.000 That was in 94!

01:37:46.000 No!

01:37:46.000 She was 4 years old.

01:37:47.000 Oh no, she ran one recently though.

01:37:49.000 I just typed an open marathon time.

01:37:51.000 That's very good though, when she was 40. She was probably on speed back then.

01:37:56.000 And steroids. 0.53

01:37:57.000 Quaalude, she's hopped up. 1.00

01:38:00.000 It's humbling to watch someone so beloved take a little stupid spill. 0.99

01:38:05.000 It's just kind of like, yeah, that's the balance of the universe. 1.00

01:38:07.000 She's perfect to everybody.

01:38:08.000 It's nice to watch perfect people fall a little bit.

01:38:10.000 That's fun.

01:38:11.000 I understand.

01:38:12.000 She's a part of the people now.

01:38:13.000 Especially if she's like, new shoes, you know how this goes. 1.00

01:38:16.000 It's fun, you know?

01:38:17.000 Yeah.

01:38:18.000 Well, it's slippery shoes, man.

01:38:19.000 That's not what it was.

01:38:20.000 Yes, it is.

01:38:21.000 She's getting older.

01:38:22.000 That was the I'm getting older fall.

01:38:24.000 Watch it again.

01:38:25.000 That was like, I lost my balance from I'm just getting older. 1.00

01:38:28.000 Yeah, but it's those stupid shoes, man. 1.00

01:38:29.000 I can't find a recent one. 1.00

01:38:30.000 There you go.

01:38:31.000 She didn't run one anytime soon.

01:38:32.000 The story has gone on around recently, but it was about her 25 years ago when she did it.

01:38:37.000 I want to stop missing something.

01:38:39.000 I swore there was one that they were referencing a year before, like she ran it for a late birthday.

01:38:45.000 She ran one of the marathons for her 50-somethingth birthday.

01:38:51.000 It would be her 60th.

01:38:53.000 She's in her 60s, right?

01:38:54.000 I feel like her 60th birthday or something like that.

01:38:56.000 I would never run a marathon, though.

01:38:57.000 Never.

01:38:58.000 You'll never catch me.

01:38:58.000 Someone's scared.

01:38:59.000 No, I run almost every day, but I'm never going to run a marathon.

01:39:02.000 Why?

01:39:03.000 Because I don't need to.

01:39:05.000 It's an insane amount of distance.

01:39:06.000 See how defensive he is?

01:39:08.000 Out of nowhere.

01:39:09.000 Like someone's grilling.

01:39:10.000 I don't need to.

01:39:11.000 How about this?

01:39:12.000 How about this?

01:39:13.000 That's right.

01:39:14.000 Good point.

01:39:15.000 How about this?

01:39:15.000 Cam Haynes runs one a day.

01:39:17.000 Yeah, Cam.

01:39:18.000 Come on.

01:39:19.000 It does.

01:39:20.000 I know, but it's like, enough.

01:39:21.000 We get it.

01:39:22.000 No, you don't get it.

01:39:22.000 That's too much.

01:39:23.000 You don't get it.

01:39:23.000 It's too much.

01:39:25.000 His knees are going to fucking fall off his body. 0.99

01:39:27.000 They're great right now. 1.00

01:39:27.000 They're going to fall off. 1.00

01:39:28.000 He's older than you.

01:39:29.000 He looks good.

01:39:29.000 Send me your knees, Cam.

01:39:31.000 Send me your cartilage, or your lack thereof.

01:39:34.000 I wonder if you've got a lot, the inside of your knees gets accustomed to it.

01:39:39.000 Like it gets a callus in there?

01:39:40.000 Well, no.

01:39:41.000 Like it strengthens.

01:39:42.000 No.

01:39:43.000 Is that possible?

01:39:44.000 Cartilage wears away at some point.

01:39:46.000 It's just not made to do that that much.

01:39:48.000 That's true.

01:39:48.000 Look it up, baby.

01:39:49.000 Cartilage is gone. 0.98

01:39:50.000 How do those fucking hundred marathon people, those dudes who run those ultra marathons, how do they do it year after year after year? 0.98

01:39:56.000 Because they can't do it their whole life. 0.99

01:39:58.000 You do it for a chunk of time until your knees just get shot. 1.00

01:40:00.000 But imagine if you're just a bitch, it gets to the point where your knees are shot. 1.00

01:40:04.000 But if you keep going, you push through, your knees wind up fixing themselves. 1.00

01:40:08.000 Your legs just break?

01:40:09.000 No, your legs callous over. 0.99

01:40:11.000 Well, it's like there's a campaign for a great cyclist called Shut Up Legs.

01:40:16.000 If you look up Shut Up Legs, it's like a whole thing about him.

01:40:20.000 What does it say?

01:40:20.000 People worry about running ruins knees, but a new study finds the activity may in fact benefit the joint, changing the biomechanical environment inside the knee in ways that could keep it working smoothly.

01:40:31.000 Maybe.

01:40:32.000 Carrying less weight is known to reduce risk for knee arthritis.

01:40:35.000 Come on.

01:40:36.000 Running may be good for your knees. 0.99

01:40:38.000 That's the New York Times, you dummy. 1.00

01:40:40.000 You don't know jack shit. 1.00

01:40:41.000 Click on that. 1.00

01:40:42.000 The failing New York Times? 1.00

01:40:44.000 Shut your mouth. 0.99

01:40:45.000 The failing New York Times? 1.00

01:40:46.000 What are you, Trump? 0.99

01:40:48.000 Lion Ted, Crazy Hillary. 0.99

01:40:49.000 Who wrote it? 0.97

01:40:50.000 Oh no, it's Lion Hillary, Crazy Ted.

01:40:52.000 Many people worrying about running these new studies.

01:40:55.000 My decades of running.

01:40:56.000 Okay, but there's little evidence to support the idea and a growing body of research suggests reverse.

01:41:00.000 Oh, this is clickbait.

01:41:01.000 New York Times got us.

01:41:05.000 Epidemiological studies of long-term runners show that they generally are less likely to develop osteoarthritis in the knees than people of the same age who do not run.

01:41:15.000 Some scientists have speculated that running may protect knees because it is often associated with relatively low body mass.

01:41:22.000 Carrying less weight is known to reduce the risk of knee arthritis.

01:41:24.000 It's saying there's little evidence that it ruins your knees.

01:41:28.000 Yeah, it's saying little evidence that it ruins your knees, but it also says some scientists have speculated running.

01:41:33.000 So there's no evidence and proof.

01:41:35.000 They're just saying this is also a possibility.

01:41:37.000 Go back up to where it was.

01:41:40.000 Oh, the widespread argument generally follows the lines that running will slowly wear away the cartilage that cushions the bones and the joints and cause arthritis, but there's little evidence to support the idea.

01:41:49.000 That makes sense.

01:41:50.000 Okay, okay.

01:41:51.000 So what I was saying, I was incorrect.

01:41:52.000 I just tried to jump paragraphs.

01:41:54.000 I missed the context of it.

01:41:57.000 Well, that makes sense. 0.99

01:41:58.000 Look, these fucking guys that I know, this is what I'm saying. 0.99

01:42:01.000 These guys that I know that run all the time, they have good knees, and you would think they didn't. 1.00

01:42:06.000 These volunteers...

01:42:07.000 Stop, stop.

01:42:08.000 Go back.

01:42:08.000 These volunteers visited a clinic where they had blood drawn from an arm.

01:42:11.000 The researchers also siphoned off a small amount of synovial fluid, a lubricating fluid that reduces friction inside joints from the right knee.

01:42:19.000 Healthy knees contain only...

01:42:21.000 What is that word?

01:42:22.000 Soupcon?

01:42:23.000 Of the stuff?

01:42:24.000 I don't even know what that word is.

01:42:26.000 Arthritic or otherwise, unhealthy knees tend to contain much more.

01:42:30.000 Interesting.

01:42:30.000 Alright, well my knees are going to be good.

01:42:33.000 I just, you know, this is all speculative too.

01:42:35.000 There's not enough research supporting it too, so who knows?

01:42:37.000 Well, it makes sense though that your muscles would be stronger and then that would probably support your knee better than a person who doesn't exercise.

01:42:45.000 I don't know.

01:42:45.000 But that cartilage wears out either way.

01:42:47.000 Anybody you know that's a great athlete, they always say that the knee cartilage wears from so much wear.

01:42:51.000 Especially like jumping a lot.

01:42:52.000 Yeah, but that's different.

01:42:54.000 Like that's explosive plyometric type movements.

01:42:56.000 It's not running.

01:42:57.000 Like running is just steady running.

01:42:59.000 Yeah, but it also depends on what you're running on too.

01:43:01.000 But there's a difference to running.

01:43:03.000 It's like going left, going right, and cutting and exploding to the left.

01:43:07.000 You know, like a move that you would do on the court.

01:43:08.000 Right.

01:43:09.000 And then if you're running on a trail where it's got some dirt, you get a little cushion.

01:43:13.000 Yeah, there's some absorption there.

01:43:16.000 That was from 2017. This one is more updated off of a new myth toppling new study that says that middle-aged runners do actually rebuild the health of their knees.

01:43:26.000 See, what did I tell you, Cheeto?

01:43:28.000 I had an idea.

01:43:29.000 We'll see.

01:43:29.000 A myth toppling new study of novice middle-aged runners suggests the answer is a qualified...

01:43:34.000 What is the question again?

01:43:36.000 Scroll up.

01:43:37.000 Could it be that marathon training and racing are actually good for our knees?

01:43:41.000 Maybe.

01:43:42.000 This is another one of these things. 0.99

01:43:44.000 A myth-toppling new study, you son of a bitch, of novice middle-aged runners suggests the answer is a qualified yes. 0.96

01:43:50.000 The study finds that taking up distance running rebuilds the health of certain essential components of middle-aged knees, even if the joint starts off somewhat tattered and worn. 0.99

01:44:00.000 What'd I tell you, bitch? 1.00

01:44:00.000 Show me the studies. 1.00

01:44:01.000 But the results Also contain a caution.

01:44:04.000 Marathon mileage could erode one vulnerable area within the knee, the study finds, if runners are not careful.

01:44:10.000 But we won't want to talk about that because that's not what the article's about.

01:44:12.000 But what is that vulnerable part?

01:44:14.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:44:14.000 That's what they do, though.

01:44:15.000 They bury it.

01:44:16.000 Stop complaining like a Chicago person.

01:44:18.000 Scroll down.

01:44:20.000 I have the study.

01:44:20.000 I was going to check that.

01:44:21.000 But what does it say?

01:44:23.000 There was one area it said.

01:44:24.000 That's what I was going to check in the study.

01:44:26.000 Well, just scroll down, and I'm sure it'll tell us.

01:44:28.000 I like going on other studies down here.

01:44:29.000 Mm-hmm.

01:44:32.000 But what is it saying, what part of the knee?

01:44:34.000 Focus on running activity, harms knees, do-do-do, scroll down.

01:44:39.000 The question is...

01:44:42.000 Is that the end of it?

01:44:43.000 No.

01:44:43.000 Why do they do that when they break things up?

01:44:45.000 I can't stand that shit. 1.00

01:44:47.000 You have one free article remaining. 1.00

01:44:49.000 Subscribe to the Times.

01:44:50.000 What is the problem with the injury?

01:44:52.000 Okay, okay.

01:44:53.000 Find the one.

01:44:54.000 I would imagine cartilage is the big issue.

01:44:57.000 And meniscus.

01:44:58.000 When meniscus goes, if it gets blown out.

01:45:00.000 Then you're done.

01:45:00.000 Yeah, like if you twist your knee and you cut your meniscus.

01:45:03.000 Have you run a marathon?

01:45:04.000 No. 1.00

01:45:05.000 See, you're giving me shit about it. 0.99

01:45:06.000 You wouldn't do it either. 0.99

01:45:07.000 I wouldn't do a half either.

01:45:08.000 I'm not doing it.

01:45:09.000 I don't want to run with all those people.

01:45:11.000 Very specific spot.

01:45:12.000 It says the improvement to the damaged subchondrial bone of the tibial and femoral condyl eyes.

01:45:17.000 Makes perfect sense.

01:45:18.000 Following the marathon in Novus Runners.

01:45:21.000 And patella cartilage.

01:45:23.000 That's the bad part.

01:45:24.000 That's what it does bad.

01:45:25.000 Worsening of the patella cartilage.

01:45:26.000 That makes sense.

01:45:27.000 It breaks it down.

01:45:28.000 Yeah, but can you fix that yet?

01:45:30.000 I mean, they'll give you those...

01:45:32.000 Stem cells?

01:45:33.000 Yeah, stem cells. 0.99

01:45:34.000 Well, I know that they do microfractures and shit. 0.58

01:45:37.000 Like, they do all kinds of different things to people to try to heal the cartilage in their knees. 0.97

01:45:40.000 Right.

01:45:41.000 Yeah.

01:45:42.000 I just realized how privileged running is.

01:45:44.000 I was like, I just get to run sometimes during the day.

01:45:47.000 Yeah, just so you don't get so fat from eating all the food you want.

01:45:52.000 That's what's crazy.

01:45:53.000 So much privilege.

01:45:54.000 Our problem in America is eating too much food.

01:45:56.000 Yeah, we have way too much access.

01:45:59.000 We're spoiled with it.

01:46:00.000 Yeah, but I just realized that at the time of my day I get to go, I can run to the gym and then run home, and that's like a nice day I get to have.

01:46:07.000 Nice.

01:46:07.000 Lucky dude, man.

01:46:09.000 No, I wouldn't run a marathon because I don't like the people that do.

01:46:13.000 That's genuinely it.

01:46:15.000 You see all the people that get the thing, the culture.

01:46:18.000 I don't want to be a part of it.

01:46:19.000 No thanks.

01:46:20.000 You don't have to be, man.

01:46:21.000 You could be a lone wolf. 1.00

01:46:22.000 Ringing the fucking bells and taking the... 1.00

01:46:24.000 I don't want to do any of that stuff. 0.99

01:46:25.000 You could put Tibetan monk chants on your phone and just listen to that as you run.

01:46:34.000 Diggory-doo music. 1.00

01:46:35.000 I would do that shit. 1.00

01:46:41.000 And then my heart's like... 1.00

01:46:42.000 Just keep that thing going for four hours. 0.91

01:46:44.000 I would go run in the middle of nowhere before I'd ever run in an actual marathon plan thing.

01:46:49.000 Oh, okay.

01:46:50.000 So you would run the 26 miles, like maybe you'd run a track.

01:46:53.000 No, it can't be on a track.

01:46:55.000 When I first moved to LA, I tried running at UCLA because my buddy got me a pass to go work out at their gym, and I did a track.

01:47:02.000 You bored?

01:47:03.000 Miserable. 0.97

01:47:04.000 Let me ask you this.

01:47:05.000 If you had a track, like a standard university track, how many feet is that?

01:47:11.000 What is that, a quarter mile?

01:47:12.000 Each lap is a quarter mile.

01:47:15.000 How many times do you think you can go around?

01:47:17.000 Do you think you can go around a hundred times?

01:47:20.000 No.

01:47:20.000 Are you paying me?

01:47:21.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:47:22.000 I could do it as many times as you want to pay me.

01:47:24.000 What if you had a bet?

01:47:25.000 What if, like, you and Jamie, you have to bet?

01:47:28.000 Jamie doesn't run.

01:47:29.000 I still need this three-point shootout before we get into this race.

01:47:31.000 Yeah, let's do the three-point shootout.

01:47:32.000 You can do that, too.

01:47:33.000 And then we need to do a race.

01:47:34.000 You can do that, too.

01:47:35.000 You don't run, do you?

01:47:36.000 Yeah.

01:47:37.000 Do you?

01:47:37.000 Do people do that, though?

01:47:38.000 It seems like that would be, like, a great bet.

01:47:40.000 If these ultra-marathon runners really want to put their money where their mouth is.

01:47:44.000 They get together on a track.

01:47:45.000 See how long they could go?

01:47:47.000 Let's see who goes first. 1.00

01:47:48.000 Oh, that's fucked. 1.00

01:47:50.000 That's killer, dude. 1.00

01:47:53.000 They would never stop.

01:47:54.000 They would never stop.

01:47:56.000 You could stop to pee. 0.99

01:47:57.000 Or shit. 1.00

01:47:58.000 That's it. 1.00

01:47:59.000 What's the math? 0.99

01:47:59.000 Because I'm dumb. 0.99

01:48:00.000 What's 26 times 4? 0.97

01:48:02.000 Well, if it's a quarter of a mile, that means four of them are a mile.

01:48:09.000 So it'd be...

01:48:10.000 104. You'd be pretty close to 100 miles.

01:48:13.000 You'd have to run 104 times to run a marathon on a track.

01:48:17.000 Yes.

01:48:17.000 104 laps.

01:48:18.000 Yeah.

01:48:18.000 So to answer your question, can I run 100 laps on a track?

01:48:22.000 Fuck no. 0.99

01:48:23.000 You're closing in on a marathon around 100 times. 1.00

01:48:26.000 Yeah, well, 104 times is a marathon.

01:48:28.000 No way. 0.99

01:48:29.000 No fucking way. 1.00

01:48:30.000 Oh. 1.00

01:48:31.000 Imagine you get into like seven.

01:48:34.000 Seven.

01:48:38.000 You hit seven and you're like, alright, I think I did it.

01:48:41.000 I don't want to loop around this thing.

01:48:42.000 Look at this football field again.

01:48:46.000 Miserable. 1.00

01:48:47.000 That's you miserable. 0.99

01:48:48.000 I haven't even hit eight yet. 0.95

01:48:50.000 Yeah, you're not even close.

01:48:51.000 It's going to take another two and a half minutes for you to get to eight.

01:48:53.000 And then you get there.

01:48:54.000 Eight. 1.00

01:48:56.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:48:58.000 I got 92 to go. 1.00

01:49:00.000 Can you run stoned?

01:49:02.000 Oh, yes, I can.

01:49:04.000 You like running stoned?

01:49:05.000 I love it.

01:49:06.000 I can't do it.

01:49:07.000 Why not?

01:49:07.000 You can do it.

01:49:07.000 I'll do it with you.

01:49:08.000 I'll show you you can do it.

01:49:09.000 No, because I'll get high with you and I want to hang out and play pool or something.

01:49:12.000 Do, do, [...

01:49:15.000 Yeah, you run high.

01:49:16.000 It's great.

01:49:17.000 See, I can do certain exercises high.

01:49:20.000 What can you do? 1.00

01:49:22.000 Stretching, yoga type of shit. 1.00

01:49:24.000 Yeah, I can do that stoned out of my mind. 0.99

01:49:26.000 That's fun.

01:49:26.000 I just can't run because running to me is like I need to be in this mood that I get in.

01:49:33.000 When I get in this little mood and then I start to run, it's like a zone that I get into.

01:49:37.000 When I'm high, I'll fall right out of it. 0.98

01:49:40.000 And I'll start thinking about way other shit. 0.99

01:49:41.000 People who surf, they say that's the move. 0.99

01:49:44.000 Surfing high.

01:49:45.000 I like snowboarding high.

01:49:46.000 That's very fun.

01:49:47.000 I like riding on a mountain stoned.

01:49:50.000 I can't believe you don't like skiing.

01:49:52.000 It's so weird that you don't like going down a mountain.

01:49:54.000 How do you not like it?

01:49:55.000 Because I do so many things that are already thrilling. 0.99

01:49:58.000 I don't need this other stupid thrilling thing that might ruin my knees. 0.99

01:50:01.000 That doesn't make sense. 0.99

01:50:02.000 That's like saying I don't want to...

01:50:02.000 Dude, I wrecked this last time because some lady slid into the trail in front of me and I almost took her out.

01:50:08.000 And I have a small fracture in my shin bone.

01:50:11.000 Oh, you hit her?

01:50:12.000 No, I hit the ground.

01:50:14.000 Oh, you smashed the ground.

01:50:15.000 Dude, I smashed hard.

01:50:16.000 That's what it is.

01:50:16.000 I was trying to go around this lady.

01:50:18.000 She's a noob, and she was on this hill, and she's like, oops, sorry, oops, sorry, and just slid right into the trail, and there was people over here and people over here, and I'm like, I could plow into this lady. 0.80

01:50:28.000 I gotta go down.

01:50:30.000 And I tried to go around her and my legs went out from under me.

01:50:33.000 I hit my head hard, like really bad in the back of my head.

01:50:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:50:36.000 Still got my bell rung.

01:50:38.000 But I fucked my knee up. 0.99

01:50:40.000 And then the next day I'm in yoga. 0.98

01:50:43.000 And when I'm bending down real low, I'm like, ooh, this doesn't feel good.

01:50:47.000 It felt weird.

01:50:48.000 It felt like something's wrong.

01:50:49.000 And then I got an MRI on it, and there's a small fracture.

01:50:53.000 It's called an insufficiency fracture.

01:50:55.000 It's actually right where I had meniscus cut out of that knee, too.

01:50:58.000 So the bones actually bang into each other because there's no meniscus there, and there's a crack in the bone.

01:51:03.000 On your shin?

01:51:04.000 Yeah, there's a crack in my shin bone.

01:51:05.000 It's not a big one.

01:51:07.000 It's a small area.

01:51:08.000 It's really not that big a deal.

01:51:09.000 And it was two months ago, and right now I don't even feel it anymore.

01:51:12.000 What do they have to do for it?

01:51:13.000 What can they do for it?

01:51:14.000 Nothing.

01:51:14.000 I got some stem cells shot into that and some PRP, and I just took it easy.

01:51:21.000 I didn't do anything pounding.

01:51:22.000 PRP is blood.

01:51:23.000 Platelet-rich plasma.

01:51:24.000 Right, so they spin your blood, right?

01:51:25.000 And they put it back in?

01:51:26.000 Yep. 1.00

01:51:27.000 I'm fascinated by that shit. 1.00

01:51:28.000 It's good stuff, yeah. 1.00

01:51:29.000 There's so many different methods now to accelerate healing, to accentuate healing.

01:51:33.000 That's a good one.

01:51:35.000 Exosomes is what they used. 0.97

01:51:36.000 I've used that on a bunch of different things, on knees and shoulders and shit. 0.92

01:51:39.000 Stuff's great. 0.97

01:51:40.000 For the average Joe?

01:51:42.000 What does that cost somebody?

01:51:43.000 I don't know.

01:51:44.000 See, I wonder.

01:51:45.000 It's not cheap.

01:51:46.000 Normal people can't do it.

01:51:47.000 Well, it should be like a normal therapy.

01:51:51.000 It should be something that you go to the doctor and your insurance covers it, and they do that to enhance healing.

01:51:57.000 See, that makes a big impact.

01:51:59.000 I've sent many people to get it.

01:52:01.000 My friend and his wife had a problem with her hip.

01:52:04.000 And they were going to operate on her labrum, her hip labrum. 0.96

01:52:07.000 So they shot some exosomes in there.

01:52:09.000 And then when they went to do a follow-up examination, the issue was gone.

01:52:13.000 Like four months later, the issue was gone.

01:52:15.000 It just wasn't there.

01:52:16.000 It wasn't healing itself, man.

01:52:18.000 It was getting worse.

01:52:19.000 They had one exosome shot into this lady's labrum. 1.00

01:52:23.000 And then next thing you know, four months later, when they go to look at it, they're like, it looks great.

01:52:27.000 She's like, I don't feel any pain anymore.

01:52:30.000 It stopped hurting her.

01:52:32.000 It healed up.

01:52:33.000 It's not everything.

01:52:34.000 It's not everything. 0.99

01:52:35.000 There's a lot of shit they can't fix. 0.96

01:52:37.000 There's like, when ligaments blow out, you gotta get it repaired. 0.99

01:52:39.000 You gotta get it surgically repaired.

01:52:41.000 There's certain things that become, you know, injured where exosomes or, you know, there's stuff called Wharton's jelly, which is this new advanced stuff, or mesenchymal stem cells, all these different versions of stem cell therapy that they use.

01:52:53.000 Some of them use bone marrow.

01:52:54.000 They go into your bone marrow, extract Stem cells from that and use that for different injuries.

01:53:00.000 And re-inject it in different areas of your body? 0.89

01:53:01.000 Yeah, they do some sort of a treatment to it to really accentuate the stem cells or activate them or whatever the fuck they do. 0.80

01:53:07.000 Some of them do it with fat. 1.00

01:53:09.000 They suck your fat out so it's a nice little break fat ass. 1.00

01:53:13.000 Get in there and get some lipo and then turn your lipo into some stem cells and fix all your joints. 1.00

01:53:18.000 I don't know.

01:53:19.000 There's not enough understanding of what's the best way to do these things.

01:53:25.000 I'm really lucky that I have a really good doctor that kind of like is very honest and very, I wouldn't say skeptical or cynical, but he's very pragmatic and very honest about the potential both ways,

01:53:44.000 whether it could do nothing or it could wind up being a waste of time or it might actually work.

01:53:49.000 Like, there's not enough information on some of this stuff.

01:53:51.000 So you're experimenting. 0.99

01:53:52.000 Yes, I'm a fucking science project. 1.00

01:53:55.000 You're the lab rat. 1.00

01:53:55.000 Yeah, but you love that shit. 1.00

01:53:56.000 It works. 1.00

01:53:56.000 I'm the polar opposite. 1.00

01:53:57.000 I'm like, figure it out on Joe, then give it to me.

01:53:59.000 Come see me.

01:54:00.000 See if it breaks on me, then I'll do it.

01:54:02.000 I don't want to be the first.

01:54:03.000 I don't want to be the first.

01:54:04.000 But it's not the first.

01:54:04.000 There's been thousands and thousands of patients.

01:54:06.000 It still seems young to me.

01:54:07.000 No, no.

01:54:08.000 And then some people do have peer-reviewed studies on the benefits of some of these things.

01:54:13.000 Particularly people with Dr. Neil Reardon has treated people with certain neurological issues.

01:54:19.000 They've helped them with stem cells. 0.99

01:54:22.000 Like CTE type of shit? 0.99

01:54:23.000 Yep. 1.00

01:54:23.000 Stem cells literally injected straight into your fucking head and stem cells injected intravenously for some certain issues that people have. 1.00

01:54:32.000 To try to fix your fucking brain. 1.00

01:54:34.000 Aubrey de Grey, who's a life extension specialist, was on my podcast last week. 1.00

01:54:38.000 Yeah.

01:54:39.000 And he thinks that that's the future of regenerative medicine, is that these advancements in stem cell therapy and medical technologies, that they're eventually going to hit some point where they can sort of treat aging like it's a disease.

01:54:55.000 Instead of like it's an inevitability, treating it like it's a disease and actually reverse the process. 0.99

01:55:01.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:55:02.000 Holy fuck, bro. 1.00

01:55:02.000 No thanks. 1.00

01:55:03.000 You're going to look like you're 12 years old.

01:55:05.000 You're going to go so hard into it.

01:55:06.000 I looked 30 when I was 12. You're going to fuck it up. 1.00

01:55:08.000 You're going to go so far, you're going to turn into a little kid, and your wife's going to go, I missed the old Santino. 1.00

01:55:14.000 But I got so much energy!

01:55:15.000 And I can play Little Week! 1.00

01:55:17.000 And I'll fuck you all day! 1.00

01:55:18.000 I'm crazy! 1.00

01:55:19.000 I'm going to hang out with my friends, and then I'm going to fuck you 13 times. 1.00

01:55:21.000 Imagine if we fuck up, and you do stem cell therapy, but it goes too far, and you're like Benjamin Buttons. 1.00

01:55:27.000 It goes the other way. 0.99

01:55:28.000 We all look like kids.

01:55:29.000 You go back to a kid. 1.00

01:55:30.000 You fuck up. 1.00

01:55:31.000 Imagine if they fucked it up. 1.00

01:55:33.000 Imagine if they go, okay, we've never seen this before, Andrew. 0.89

01:55:38.000 How tall are you?

01:55:40.000 How tall are you, like 6'2"?

01:55:41.000 6'1", and some change.

01:55:43.000 6'1", like, you're 5'11".

01:55:46.000 Like, what?

01:55:47.000 And you look like you're 14. What?

01:55:50.000 What?

01:55:51.000 What are you saying?

01:55:52.000 I don't think there's anything to worry about because I think at the very least, the worst thing is you'll get to go 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 again.

01:56:00.000 You'll get to do it all over again.

01:56:01.000 It's like you're a 14-year-old with all the knowledge, and I don't think you're going to get any younger.

01:56:05.000 You're like, what do you mean you don't think?

01:56:07.000 Well, we don't know yet.

01:56:08.000 We're not sure.

01:56:09.000 And then you come back in four months later and you're smaller still.

01:56:12.000 I'm nine.

01:56:13.000 Now you're nine years old.

01:56:15.000 You're losing like a year every six months.

01:56:18.000 I'm nine. 0.89

01:56:18.000 I'm holding in my poop. 0.89

01:56:19.000 My anxiety is at a high.

01:56:21.000 I'm nine.

01:56:21.000 Can you imagine?

01:56:22.000 If they can reverse the aging process, what if they fuck it up and turn you into a baby? 0.55

01:56:26.000 And you got all this money, and you're signing over your will when you're two, and your family's like, he can't understand what he's signing. 0.96

01:56:33.000 No, no, no.

01:56:34.000 I'm two, but I'm 50. You look like you're two.

01:56:39.000 You got the pen and everything. 1.00

01:56:41.000 You're ready to write shit down. 1.00

01:56:42.000 Mr. Baby. 1.00

01:56:44.000 Mr. Baby? 0.99

01:56:45.000 The family's like, there's no fucking way. 0.99

01:56:46.000 You cannot let him sign this. 0.99

01:56:48.000 He's two.

01:56:49.000 He's like, no, but his mental capacity is not.

01:56:50.000 He's like, I'm 52 years old!

01:56:51.000 I'm not two!

01:56:53.000 But he can't talk and his arms are all flailing around.

01:56:56.000 He's like doing this, like a baby.

01:57:01.000 You have to sign everything off by the time you can't talk anymore.

01:57:04.000 Because it's going to get to a point in time we're just going to make goo-goo noises.

01:57:07.000 Like trapped.

01:57:08.000 A 55-year-old man trapped in the head of a baby. 0.89

01:57:12.000 Do you die then? 1.00

01:57:12.000 Yeah, you just crawl right back at your mom's pussy. 1.00

01:57:15.000 That's what you do. 1.00

01:57:16.000 Oh, so she's got to be around.

01:57:16.000 She's got to be around.

01:57:17.000 But is she a baby too?

01:57:18.000 How's this work?

01:57:19.000 How are they going to just put her on the same program? 0.98

01:57:22.000 Bring her back to the time she's 20. Okay, great. 0.98

01:57:25.000 And then you climb right back in.

01:57:26.000 What if it was a reverse button?

01:57:28.000 You said, like, use it at the right time.

01:57:29.000 By the time you're 80, then you go back.

01:57:31.000 Get down to the time you're 6 and then hit it again?

01:57:33.000 Yeah.

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:34.000 Do it once.

01:57:35.000 Go back to...

01:57:36.000 Just live forever?

01:57:37.000 I don't want to live...

01:57:37.000 No, not forever, but just double.

01:57:39.000 Instead of going to max 80. But then you'd go, I want to do it one more time.

01:57:44.000 Imagine being 10 years old today. 1.00

01:57:48.000 If you just had to go back to school at 10, and kids would be trying to bully you and say stupid shit. 1.00

01:57:52.000 Do you imagine what you would do to those kids? 1.00

01:57:55.000 Murder. 1.00

01:57:55.000 Well, I wouldn't beat him up, but just talking to them, how you could mind-fucking 10-year-old who was trying to be mean to you. 1.00

01:58:02.000 I go, Bobby, are you trying to be mean to me, Bobby? 0.99

01:58:05.000 Yeah.

01:58:05.000 What's the matter, Bobby?

01:58:06.000 I know about your father's addiction and the fact that your mom was with the neighbor.

01:58:10.000 Wait, what?

01:58:10.000 Oh!

01:58:11.000 There's a great scene.

01:58:13.000 There's a phenomenal scene in a show called Pen15.

01:58:16.000 These girls are like my age, but they play teenagers on the show. 1.00

01:58:20.000 What?

01:58:20.000 It's great.

01:58:21.000 It's really funny, but there's a funny scene when she gets pep-talked into talking shit during a fight. 1.00

01:58:26.000 And she's like, her friend is like, call him an aardvark dick. 0.99

01:58:30.000 And she's like, okay, what else? 0.99

01:58:32.000 And she's like, just use any ammunition you have against him, right? 0.99

01:58:34.000 And he's bullying the girl, and she's like, whatever, aardvark dick! 1.00

01:58:37.000 And everyone's laughing, and then she goes, yeah, and that's why your dad died! 1.00

01:58:41.000 And everyone's like, oh, shit. 1.00

01:58:44.000 That's mean, dude. 0.99

01:58:46.000 It's such a good scene. 0.99

01:58:48.000 And she thinks she's like fucking, like everyone's cheering her on, and then she says his dad died and starts crying. 0.99

01:58:53.000 Yeah, if you had the intellectual capacity to just shut down, I mean, you'd emotionally break them. 0.99

01:58:59.000 You'd be so bored, too.

01:59:00.000 Oh, you'd break them. 1.00

01:59:00.000 Like when I'm around little girls, like my daughter and her friends, and they're all like talking about shit. 1.00

01:59:04.000 Like sometimes they have a birthday party, and so there's like 10, 12 kids at the house, and they're all talking shit to each other. 0.99

01:59:10.000 Right. 0.99

01:59:10.000 And you get to just hover and listen. 0.99

01:59:12.000 It's like the thing, and they're talking about some boy at school who's a loser. 0.97

01:59:14.000 It's always a boy. 1.00

01:59:15.000 Yeah, it's always some dork. 1.00

01:59:16.000 He eats his boogers. 0.99

01:59:18.000 And he's always trying to be funny.

01:59:19.000 He's so mean.

01:59:21.000 And one of them really like, how old is she again?

01:59:23.000 Eleven.

01:59:23.000 Yeah, that's the age when the boys are starting to show the signs of being like...

01:59:28.000 We're all getting hormones.

01:59:29.000 Yeah.

01:59:29.000 The boys are knocking on the door.

01:59:30.000 Hey, trains are coming.

01:59:31.000 Boys are pushing a lot. 0.94

01:59:32.000 Yeah.

01:59:33.000 This is the government.

01:59:34.000 We're just going to let you know that the neighborhood is going to be changing radically over the next couple of years.

01:59:38.000 We just suggest you be careful.

01:59:40.000 Things are moving in.

01:59:40.000 With your newfound powers.

01:59:42.000 Yeah.

01:59:43.000 Boners. 0.93

01:59:43.000 Boners are coming. 0.93

01:59:44.000 God, boners are coming.

01:59:46.000 Boners are on the way. 0.87

01:59:47.000 The flight of the boners.

01:59:48.000 Have you prepared for your boner?

01:59:49.000 Meanwhile, no one even tells you what's going on, and all of a sudden you've got a hard-on.

01:59:53.000 Like, what is happening? 0.99

01:59:54.000 That day on the bus, when you get a boner on the bus, holy shit, does it fuck your day up. 0.99

01:59:58.000 My friend John Dudley calls them bumpy road boners. 0.99

02:00:01.000 Yeah, bumpy boners.

02:00:01.000 Because there's something about when you're on a car that's bouncing around, somehow or another dudes get boners sometimes.

02:00:07.000 You know what it is? 0.91

02:00:07.000 It's probably the pressure on your prostate. 0.91

02:00:09.000 It's activating your dick to get fucked. 1.00

02:00:10.000 And also, you're on the way home and you might catch a glimpse of Natalie, who's got the tits already, who's too young. 1.00

02:00:17.000 You start to get hard as shit. 1.00

02:00:19.000 You miss your stop. 0.99

02:00:19.000 There's always that one girl who's 13 with giant double Ds. 0.99

02:00:22.000 That was Natalie. 0.92

02:00:23.000 What the hell? 0.93

02:00:24.000 She was stacked when we were kids. 0.94

02:00:26.000 What happens there?

02:00:27.000 I used to miss a bus stop, seriously, sometimes.

02:00:30.000 I'd miss a stop if I had a heart on, and I was afraid to get off the bus with a boner, even though you'd tuck it up.

02:00:35.000 You'd tuck it up in your pants, and I was always afraid, so I'd miss a stop or two sometimes if I got a heart on the way home.

02:00:40.000 Wow.

02:00:41.000 I'd be so nervous.

02:00:42.000 I'd rather walk home. 1.00

02:00:42.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:00:43.000 How'd you go flaccid? 1.00

02:00:44.000 Do you talk yourself out of it?

02:00:45.000 I'd have a friend slap me, and I'd start fighting with a friend. 1.00

02:00:48.000 If you start fighting with another dude friend, your dick goes right into your body. 1.00

02:00:51.000 Or it doesn't. 1.00

02:00:52.000 Well, then you got a whole other thing going on.

02:00:54.000 Then you got a new thing.

02:00:54.000 Yeah.

02:00:55.000 Like, wow.

02:00:57.000 Now I got another thing to be confused about.

02:00:58.000 I got a new thing now.

02:00:59.000 Yeah, I mean, imagine if you had to go through that all again, though, and didn't know anything.

02:01:04.000 Like, that's...

02:01:05.000 The torture of seeing...

02:01:06.000 I mean, I only understand boys, because I've never been a girl.

02:01:11.000 But the going... 0.99

02:01:13.000 Through being 10, 11, 12, going through school, all the social things, not knowing shit, and you're a boy. 0.92

02:01:20.000 It's so confusing. 1.00

02:01:21.000 It sucks. 0.80

02:01:22.000 Once you finally become a man and you don't have to do that anymore, you can just be at peace in your own skin. 0.97

02:01:26.000 It's like, oh, imagine going through all that stuff again.

02:01:30.000 No. 0.99

02:01:31.000 Hiding jerking off, too. 0.99

02:01:32.000 Like you're like a ninja. 0.99

02:01:35.000 They don't know what you're doing in the bathroom for 20 minutes with a magazine.

02:01:38.000 You're a little ninja. 1.00

02:01:39.000 You're a jerk-off ninja. 1.00

02:01:41.000 Now I kind of hope my neighbors see me. 1.00

02:01:43.000 It's kind of part of the allure. 0.92

02:01:45.000 I jerk off in my living room sometimes.

02:01:47.000 I'm just hoping they walk by, walking their dog.

02:01:50.000 Wave hi. 0.96

02:01:51.000 If they see you jerking off in your house, I think you can get in real big trouble. 0.99

02:01:55.000 I think a guy got in trouble jerking off in his house with the windows open. 1.00

02:01:58.000 Shut up. 1.00

02:01:59.000 You're private. 1.00

02:02:00.000 It's property.

02:02:01.000 No, no, no.

02:02:01.000 I think because you could see into this guy's house and he was beaten off, They came and got him.

02:02:07.000 Why?

02:02:08.000 Because there was kids or something like that?

02:02:09.000 I don't remember what the story was, but it was a big deal. 0.98

02:02:11.000 Where people were like, hey, hey, hey, the guy is just jerking off inside his own house. 0.99

02:02:15.000 Like, what is the big goddamn deal? 1.00

02:02:17.000 Yeah, I don't care. 0.98

02:02:17.000 They had the door open or the window open or something like that. 0.98

02:02:21.000 The front door is wide open.

02:02:23.000 You tell me there's not a guy who's out there jerking off at the front door wide open. 0.77

02:02:26.000 For sure. 0.89

02:02:26.000 Just letting in the breeze. 0.89

02:02:27.000 Of course there is.

02:02:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:02:28.000 I bet people go to hotels, and then they open up the door, and they stuff a wedge on the door and start fucking. 0.99

02:02:34.000 And they let everybody walk by and watch. 0.98

02:02:36.000 Yeah, leave the door open.

02:02:37.000 That's fun.

02:02:38.000 Vegas!

02:02:39.000 Especially before cell phones. 1.00

02:02:40.000 All these fucking goddamn tattletale cell phones. 1.00

02:02:44.000 And the dirty cameras. 1.00

02:02:46.000 Back then, people just...

02:02:47.000 I bet that was a common thing. 0.98

02:02:49.000 Just fucking with the door open? 0.99

02:02:51.000 Yeah, like Hell's Angels. 1.00

02:02:53.000 They all took over a hotel somewhere.

02:02:54.000 Well, those guys. 1.00

02:02:55.000 They fucked with that door wide open. 1.00

02:02:57.000 Yeah, they fucked in the street. 1.00

02:02:57.000 I'm sure they fucked at the bar. 1.00

02:03:00.000 On bikes. 0.97

02:03:01.000 That voyeuristic thing never was like a thing for me. 0.98

02:03:03.000 I know some people like fucking in public because they think it's hot to maybe get caught. 0.91

02:03:07.000 Never, never got me. 0.99

02:03:08.000 I was always like, why? 0.97

02:03:09.000 I don't fucking... 0.98

02:03:09.000 Why do I want to know that someone's watching me? 0.98

02:03:11.000 That's creepy to me.

02:03:12.000 If you get arrested, you get...

02:03:14.000 Weird charges too. 0.96

02:03:15.000 Like if you fuck someone in public in some places, they'll hit you with like a sex offender charge. 0.98

02:03:22.000 Yeah, because it's exposure. 0.99

02:03:24.000 Dude, I had to fight that in college.

02:03:26.000 I had urinating in public.

02:03:27.000 I had to fight a public exposure charge. 0.97

02:03:28.000 Yeah, that's a real problem because that's a different goddamn thing that every man understands. 0.87

02:03:33.000 And that's a little game they're playing. 0.99

02:03:35.000 That's a dirty game.

02:03:36.000 You caught a guy taking a leak and you're saying that's public exposure.

02:03:39.000 Look, he shouldn't have been taking a leak outside maybe, but everybody's done it.

02:03:43.000 So stop.

02:03:44.000 I had to piss.

02:03:44.000 Yeah, when guys have to piss and there's no one around, they piss in alleys.

02:03:48.000 Anywhere.

02:03:48.000 And we've been doing that since the beginning of time.

02:03:49.000 Right. 1.00

02:03:50.000 So for some fucking guy to pretend that that's just like robbing a house or trying to kidnap a kid. 1.00

02:03:55.000 Right. 1.00

02:03:56.000 Like, that's not a sex offender.

02:03:57.000 No.

02:03:58.000 That's a guy who had to pee.

02:03:59.000 Yeah, but I had to be in a room in one of those rooms with people that did expose themselves.

02:04:03.000 And I was like, nothing like these dudes, man. 0.99

02:04:05.000 I'm nothing like these fucking guys. 1.00

02:04:06.000 I was pissing outside near a bar walking home. 1.00

02:04:09.000 They'd be happy if you pissed your pants.

02:04:10.000 I should have. 1.00

02:04:11.000 If you pissed your pants, they can't say shit. 1.00

02:04:13.000 Right, I know. 0.99

02:04:13.000 It's not illegal. 0.99

02:04:14.000 You pissed your pants in public, though.

02:04:16.000 Yeah, but I have my pants on.

02:04:17.000 Yeah, but still.

02:04:19.000 But still.

02:04:19.000 Have you seen these in Europe?

02:04:20.000 They've talked about bringing them some places in America, I think, but they have not. 0.99

02:04:23.000 You stand in there and jerk off? 0.68

02:04:24.000 No, they have open urinals just like in the middle of the street. 1.00

02:04:27.000 Oh, there's dudes jerking off in there for sure. 1.00

02:04:29.000 Like where people get drunk. 0.99

02:04:30.000 I bet that smells like fish.

02:04:31.000 Someone's pooped in one of those for sure.

02:04:33.000 Look at that.

02:04:33.000 Faced the wrong way.

02:04:34.000 Open air urinals cause uproar in Paris.

02:04:37.000 What would they rather have?

02:04:38.000 People just piss? 0.99

02:04:39.000 Look at that guy. 0.80

02:04:40.000 He's got his hog out.

02:04:41.000 Here's the difference though.

02:04:42.000 Otherwise they're asking all these coffee shops, can I use the bathroom?

02:04:44.000 And people are like, no bathroom, no bathroom.

02:04:46.000 Well let him go pee then in the thing.

02:04:47.000 I feel like those would fill up quick.

02:04:49.000 San Francisco.

02:04:50.000 San Francisco has these.

02:04:52.000 Do they?

02:04:53.000 But they're enclosed.

02:04:54.000 Dude, San Francisco, they've ruined that place.

02:04:56.000 They're enclosed. 1.00

02:04:57.000 They've fucked up. 1.00

02:04:58.000 They've fucked up. 1.00

02:05:00.000 They've ruined that place by allowing people to do shit in the streets and not do anything. 1.00

02:05:06.000 I don't know what you can do about it, but they should have taken steps to make sure it never got this bad. 0.99

02:05:09.000 Meanwhile, it's the highest concentration of billionaires on Earth, I think that's what someone said to me.

02:05:16.000 But they don't live right there.

02:05:17.000 That's the problem.

02:05:18.000 They work right there.

02:05:19.000 No, no, no.

02:05:19.000 They work close.

02:05:20.000 It's the highest concentration of billionaires that live in that area.

02:05:24.000 Yes.

02:05:24.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:05:25.000 They live in like Atherton.

02:05:27.000 Atherton is the big spot out there.

02:05:29.000 What's in the center of the city?

02:05:30.000 Not Russian Hill.

02:05:31.000 No, that's not what it's called.

02:05:32.000 Mission Hill?

02:05:33.000 Elephant something?

02:05:34.000 I don't know.

02:05:35.000 If you look it up, but the driver was telling me when we were there, he was like, no, man, more billionaires live in this quarter-mile radius than anywhere in the world.

02:05:43.000 This is Marin County.

02:05:45.000 That's a lot of really rich people, too, right?

02:05:46.000 Yeah, but this is in the city, in the actual city of San Francisco. 0.57

02:05:49.000 It's just the poo everywhere.

02:05:50.000 Yeah, lots of poo.

02:05:52.000 Pfft.

02:05:52.000 I've seen so many people that take pictures of people pooing there.

02:05:57.000 That happens in LA too.

02:06:00.000 I was on Fairfax and I saw a woman pooping at a bus stop. 0.99

02:06:04.000 Yeah.

02:06:04.000 Did I take a photo?

02:06:06.000 I did.

02:06:07.000 I did. 0.98

02:06:08.000 So fucking sad. 0.97

02:06:10.000 Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it. 1.00

02:06:11.000 San Francisco, they're fucking, they're drowning. 0.99

02:06:13.000 It's just so far gone. 1.00

02:06:15.000 Yeah.

02:06:15.000 The city is just filled with tents, and it's so crazy.

02:06:19.000 I know.

02:06:20.000 They just hand it back over to the homeless.

02:06:21.000 I remember what, that's the human poo map? 1.00

02:06:23.000 Yeah, it's just full. 0.74

02:06:24.000 Oh my god, it's poo.

02:06:27.000 Where's the most poo?

02:06:28.000 Is that really the whole poo map? 0.93

02:06:30.000 That's where they found poo?

02:06:32.000 Yeah.

02:06:33.000 Look at that, though, dude.

02:06:34.000 Is that real?

02:06:34.000 There's a park up there in the corner, and that has the least amount of poo in it.

02:06:38.000 Look at this.

02:06:38.000 San Francisco—it must be a high spot.

02:06:41.000 San Francisco's human waste problem plotted on a foul map.

02:06:45.000 The city itself is in trouble.

02:06:47.000 See, this is how medieval diseases get re—they resurface.

02:06:54.000 Yeah, they come back up because it gets in the rivers and the drinking water and all that stuff.

02:06:57.000 Yeah, but that's how people got diseases back in the day in Rome was because of bad sewage.

02:07:01.000 We were pooping in a place they were drinking and eating from.

02:07:03.000 Oh, this is so bad, man. 0.99

02:07:05.000 People just shitting in the streets. 0.98

02:07:07.000 Well, think about it. 0.86

02:07:07.000 Isn't that the Ganges? 0.86

02:07:09.000 Isn't it filled with feces and dead bodies and stuff, and they drink and bathe in it? 0.97

02:07:12.000 That's mind-bending to me. 1.00

02:07:13.000 But then San Francisco, with all these rich people, has this giant homeless shitting problem. 0.99

02:07:19.000 Yeah, a billionaire, and then two blocks away is a guy pooping. 1.00

02:07:22.000 Damn. 1.00

02:07:23.000 What could they do? 1.00

02:07:24.000 I mean, they did something in New York City, right? 0.97

02:07:26.000 They did some strong-arm type shit, and they reduced the amount of homelessness in New York City. 0.98

02:07:31.000 They cleaned up Manhattan. 0.99

02:07:32.000 It's like a sparkling...

02:07:33.000 Now it looks like it's like Six Flags.

02:07:36.000 Manhattan has become this very pristine, nice, safe, clean...

02:07:39.000 It definitely could have gone off the rails in Manhattan, too.

02:07:42.000 But they did it right somehow.

02:07:44.000 I don't know.

02:07:44.000 What did they do?

02:07:45.000 I don't know.

02:07:45.000 I mean, I think that was also the implementation of, like, they doubled their police force.

02:07:49.000 They started busting people for everything.

02:07:51.000 People got scared of doing anything illegal in the city.

02:07:53.000 Well, we're real close to someone saying enough is enough, and you get some...

02:07:59.000 Some dude who comes in is going to have some hardline Giuliani-type attack on the homeless problem in downtown in L.A. Because L.A. is up to 70,000-plus people homeless.

02:08:11.000 Wow.

02:08:11.000 That's crazy.

02:08:12.000 That's like Boulder, Colorado.

02:08:13.000 Yeah, that's a lot of people.

02:08:14.000 That's like Boulder of homeless.

02:08:15.000 Just all the people in Boulder but homeless.

02:08:17.000 And they're concentrated mostly downtown and like Venice, right?

02:08:21.000 Isn't that where the most of them are?

02:08:22.000 Boulder might be 100,000.

02:08:24.000 I think Boulder might be underestimating the amount of people in Boulder.

02:08:27.000 How many people do you think live in Boulder, Colorado?

02:08:29.000 100 sounds low.

02:08:30.000 Boulder's pretty big.

02:08:31.000 Really?

02:08:32.000 The school is there, and the school alone has got to be 70k.

02:08:35.000 What?

02:08:36.000 107,000.

02:08:37.000 107. Alright.

02:08:39.000 Yeah.

02:08:40.000 But that school's got to take up the high majority of that population.

02:08:42.000 Isn't that school massive? 1.00

02:08:43.000 That school's fucking huge. 0.99

02:08:44.000 Yeah, I mean... 0.99

02:08:45.000 50, 60,000 kids?

02:08:46.000 That's the most for, like, any school, really.

02:08:48.000 Like, Ohio State or Texas is, like, 50, 60. Yeah.

02:08:51.000 But isn't Boulder big like that?

02:08:52.000 College towns are strange, right?

02:08:53.000 You got young people, and then the old people who like staying near the university. 0.89

02:08:57.000 Dude, people used to complain when I was in Arizona State.

02:08:59.000 People would bitch constantly about us throwing house parties. 0.99

02:09:01.000 Like, where do you fucking think? 0.99

02:09:02.000 This school's been around since 1896. Yeah, and they used to be in those parties, these fucks. 1.00

02:09:07.000 Yeah, so either fucking come over and get high with us or move. 1.00

02:09:10.000 Yeah, you gotta move. 1.00

02:09:11.000 You gotta move, dude.

02:09:12.000 The school's been there.

02:09:13.000 When somebody moves to a school area and they complain, well, you know what they did about Westwood, UCLA. That whole thing is fucked up. 0.99

02:09:19.000 That's why there's no college town there because those community organizers basically made it almost impossible for young and new businesses to open up that would be supportive of like bars or restaurant culture. 0.98

02:09:31.000 They keep shutting it down because these old rich people in Westwood don't want that there.

02:09:34.000 They want it to be a neighborhood. 0.97

02:09:36.000 They fight UCLA tooth and nail to make sure that it's like, no, make the kids go fucking live in Culver City or something. 1.00

02:09:42.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

02:09:43.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

02:09:44.000 Is it though? 1.00

02:09:45.000 Yeah.

02:09:45.000 What if your house was out there?

02:09:47.000 You wouldn't be thinking it's bullshit? 0.98

02:09:48.000 I wouldn't move to a place where a college is. 1.00

02:09:50.000 I wouldn't move a block from a fucking major university. 0.99

02:09:52.000 How about that? 0.99

02:09:53.000 When I was in Boulder, I was driving down the street and I saw a fraternity house. 0.99

02:09:56.000 And I said, imagine, you're in a Zac Efron movie and you live right next door to these fucks. 1.00

02:10:00.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:10:01.000 That's like a Zac Efron, Seth Rogen movie. 1.00

02:10:04.000 Yeah, what is it called?

02:10:05.000 Neighbors?

02:10:06.000 Something like that.

02:10:06.000 Yeah, but you know better.

02:10:07.000 That's what I mean.

02:10:08.000 You know where you're moving.

02:10:08.000 You know where you move.

02:10:09.000 If you move next to a major school, it's your fault.

02:10:11.000 I wonder if it's really cheap to live next to the fraternity.

02:10:13.000 Of course it is.

02:10:14.000 What do you mean?

02:10:15.000 It's got to be.

02:10:15.000 Because it's a house.

02:10:16.000 Yeah.

02:10:17.000 Is there anything that fucks with your real estate value more than a fraternity?

02:10:22.000 No.

02:10:23.000 Sorority is like, I bet they're loud, but they're probably not going to be lighting anything on fire.

02:10:27.000 No, because they go to the guy's house. 1.00

02:10:28.000 They go to the frat to fuck shit up. 1.00

02:10:30.000 Well, also, the dudes are the ones that have the problems in terms of violence and explosions and chaos. 1.00

02:10:36.000 Drunk men, they're way scarier than drunk women. 1.00

02:10:39.000 Drunk women just cry. 1.00

02:10:41.000 They scream. 1.00

02:10:43.000 They tell bitches they're gonna cut them. 1.00

02:10:45.000 They might pull hair and punch each other, but it's nothing. 1.00

02:10:47.000 There's not bombs going off.

02:10:49.000 Drunk men are shooting guns and lighting cars on fire.

02:10:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:10:53.000 They're doing dumb things. 1.00

02:10:54.000 Drunk men are fucking dangerous. 1.00

02:10:55.000 But that's what you're supposed to do when you're that age. 1.00

02:10:57.000 Whereas you're supposed to do dumb shit when you first start getting drunk. 1.00

02:11:00.000 And you're also supposed to realize how dumb it is that you're living in the house with these fucking savage men. 1.00

02:11:06.000 And you're like, I gotta grow up. 1.00

02:11:08.000 And then by the time those three years or four years are done and you're out, you're like, enough.

02:11:13.000 I'm gonna be a different person.

02:11:14.000 I'm turning over new people.

02:11:15.000 I'm gonna live alone.

02:11:15.000 I'm gonna be a venture capitalist.

02:11:17.000 I'm gonna be an angel investor.

02:11:18.000 But two of those guys still want to keep that party moving.

02:11:22.000 Yes, that's Burt Kreischer. 1.00

02:11:23.000 He became a fucking comedian. 1.00

02:11:26.000 They just can't get out of that. 1.00

02:11:27.000 That's literally Burt.

02:11:28.000 Burt was in school for a hundred years.

02:11:29.000 I mean, how long did he stay in college for?

02:11:31.000 Seven.

02:11:32.000 Seven years.

02:11:33.000 And he never graduated.

02:11:34.000 Or he did.

02:11:35.000 I don't know if he did or not.

02:11:36.000 Did he have a degree?

02:11:38.000 I guarantee you he bribed somebody.

02:11:40.000 It's got to be in hotel management.

02:11:44.000 Hospitality.

02:11:48.000 If he has one, I bet you that's what it is.

02:11:50.000 Imagine if he did spend all those years on school tuition.

02:11:55.000 What a waste.

02:11:56.000 So much money.

02:11:57.000 But isn't his parenting?

02:11:58.000 He comes from money, right?

02:11:59.000 That's what it is.

02:12:00.000 What?

02:12:03.000 Top partier.

02:12:04.000 He had a degree in hospitality.

02:12:11.000 You nailed it.

02:12:11.000 I swear to God in my life, I did not know that, but I just knew it in my bones.

02:12:15.000 I knew it in my bones.

02:12:17.000 I had friends that did that.

02:12:19.000 One buddy did agriculture.

02:12:21.000 Yeah, but agriculture is real.

02:12:23.000 We need food.

02:12:24.000 He had nothing to do with it. 0.99

02:12:25.000 It was just a thing to do because he didn't know what the fuck he wanted to do. 0.98

02:12:28.000 Dude, that's so funny. 0.97

02:12:29.000 How much did that cost to get a degree in hospitality that he'll never use?

02:12:32.000 What do you gotta say?

02:12:33.000 How much a year is FSU? Look, he's got an amazing career in stand-up comedy, and I'm sure his experience is...

02:12:40.000 And the university probably did something to enhance his perspective that would help him on stage as a stand-up. 0.98

02:12:47.000 Well, they made a fucking movie out of it, I mean. 0.99

02:12:49.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:12:49.000 They didn't give him any money for that movie. 0.99

02:12:51.000 No, because the story was borrowed.

02:12:54.000 They twisted it.

02:12:55.000 Yeah.

02:12:55.000 They twisted it, but it was all based on Bert Kreischer.

02:12:58.000 Totally.

02:12:58.000 That Van Wilder movie was based on Bert Kreischer.

02:13:01.000 He says he was an English major for six years. 0.96

02:13:04.000 And then he's like, it's too fucking hard! 0.97

02:13:06.000 I can't speak no English! 0.97

02:13:07.000 I speak English!

02:13:08.000 I speak Florida!

02:13:10.000 I'm the machine!

02:13:12.000 Yeah, he looks exactly like what I... If Florida was a person, it'd be Bird...

02:13:16.000 Exactly! 1.00

02:13:17.000 If Florida was a human embodiment, it'd be fucking Bird Chrysler. 0.99

02:13:20.000 Yeah, with like a weird hat on. 0.99

02:13:24.000 Yeah.

02:13:25.000 Yeah.

02:13:26.000 No shirt.

02:13:27.000 No shirt.

02:13:27.000 Baseball hat.

02:13:28.000 Not even a baseball hat, you know?

02:13:30.000 Like one of them weird...

02:13:31.000 Fedoras?

02:13:32.000 Yeah, kind of like a half-ass fedora, you know?

02:13:36.000 But no shirt on.

02:13:37.000 No shirt.

02:13:37.000 And flip-flops.

02:13:38.000 That's Florida.

02:13:39.000 He gave me a pair of his own flip-flops.

02:13:41.000 He's got a company that makes flip-flops now.

02:13:43.000 Bert does?

02:13:44.000 Bert does.

02:13:44.000 What are they called?

02:13:46.000 They're right here.

02:13:46.000 Birdies?

02:13:48.000 That's insane.

02:13:50.000 Burt investing in a flip-flop company is a company that pre-existed and then he bought into it or he started it?

02:13:57.000 I don't know.

02:13:57.000 Yeah, he's made.

02:13:59.000 I did squats yesterday.

02:14:00.000 That hurt.

02:14:01.000 So it says Burt Kreischer Free Waters.

02:14:03.000 Free Water.

02:14:04.000 That's the name of these.

02:14:05.000 The company, I guess.

02:14:06.000 They're a very solid flip-flop, though.

02:14:08.000 Thumbs up.

02:14:09.000 Yeah.

02:14:10.000 Yeah, if you're into flip-flops, these are great.

02:14:12.000 I wear flip-flops once a year is when I go to Hawaii.

02:14:16.000 I don't really wear flip flops.

02:14:19.000 I don't like the toe divider.

02:14:21.000 I like slides.

02:14:22.000 You know slides.

02:14:23.000 I like slides. 0.99

02:14:24.000 I fuck with slides, yeah. 0.99

02:14:25.000 I just can't do flip. 1.00

02:14:25.000 I don't like the toe divider. 1.00

02:14:26.000 It weirds me out.

02:14:27.000 That's where you draw the line, huh?

02:14:28.000 Yeah.

02:14:30.000 What's better?

02:14:31.000 What's better, Jamie?

02:14:32.000 You like slides.

02:14:33.000 Slides? 0.98

02:14:34.000 I don't wear it.

02:14:34.000 Yeah, if I did, I'd probably wear slides.

02:14:37.000 A lot of dudes will rock slides with white socks. 0.87

02:14:41.000 Yes.

02:14:41.000 And like serious dudes.

02:14:43.000 Like guys who go to the gym, like muscular young guys.

02:14:46.000 Yep.

02:14:47.000 They wear slides and socks and they'll go wandering about.

02:14:49.000 Comfy.

02:14:50.000 If you ever wore flip-flops and socks and you went out, people would smack you.

02:14:55.000 There's a difference.

02:14:56.000 For some reason...

02:14:57.000 Some guys can.

02:14:58.000 Yeah, but for some reason, slides and socks...

02:15:01.000 Is acceptable where flip-flops and socks are not.

02:15:05.000 Well, because then you do the Ninja Turtle toe. 0.74

02:15:06.000 You can't do the socks with the flip-flops because then your toe gets divided and then it looks really weird.

02:15:11.000 But isn't that strange?

02:15:12.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:15:13.000 Well, it looks ridiculous. 0.75

02:15:14.000 The secure... 0.99

02:15:15.000 They're both ridiculous. 0.98

02:15:17.000 Wearing slides with socks looks ridiculous. 0.98

02:15:19.000 No, it makes sense to me.

02:15:20.000 But at least it looks casual, right?

02:15:22.000 Slides with socks is just...

02:15:23.000 I don't need to wear shoes, man. 0.99

02:15:25.000 I just slip my socks in these and go to the fucking grocery store. 0.99

02:15:28.000 I'm going to go run over there real fast. 0.99

02:15:29.000 You can go to the grocery store with slides on and socks.

02:15:32.000 I go to the bank.

02:15:32.000 No one will say nothing.

02:15:33.000 Nope.

02:15:34.000 You can go to the bank.

02:15:35.000 Yeah.

02:15:35.000 I do small errands with slides and socks on.

02:15:38.000 Well, especially a guy like you.

02:15:39.000 You're a successful comedian.

02:15:40.000 You make a good living.

02:15:41.000 You're not poor.

02:15:42.000 It's not like this is the only pair of shoes you have.

02:15:44.000 This is a choice.

02:15:45.000 Yeah, I've made an obvious choice.

02:15:46.000 You pull up in your Mercedes.

02:15:48.000 I don't have a Mercedes.

02:15:50.000 I'm looking at it right now.

02:15:51.000 No, I don't have a Mercedes.

02:15:53.000 Are you lying?

02:15:54.000 Yeah.

02:15:55.000 I'm giving back to the environment.

02:15:56.000 I have a Yaris.

02:15:57.000 I bought a Toyota Yaris.

02:15:58.000 This is not true.

02:15:59.000 No.

02:16:00.000 You have a Mercedes.

02:16:01.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:16:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:16:02.000 Bitch. 1.00

02:16:03.000 White man with your fucking golden locks. 1.00

02:16:05.000 Gucci slides are regular bullshit. 1.00

02:16:07.000 First of all, I would never buy Gucci fucking... 1.00

02:16:08.000 That's insane. 1.00

02:16:09.000 You don't like Gucci?

02:16:10.000 No.

02:16:10.000 I buy the Adidas ones you can throw in the trash.

02:16:12.000 Oh, is that why? 0.99

02:16:13.000 Because if they get fucked up, they're like 20 bucks. 0.99

02:16:16.000 You just buy a new... 0.99

02:16:16.000 You're not into the Gucci? 0.99

02:16:18.000 No. 0.99

02:16:18.000 You, of all people asking me that, you would never wear Gucci fucking slides. 0.99

02:16:22.000 I have a pair of Gucci slippers that my wife bought me. 0.99

02:16:25.000 How often are you wearing those?

02:16:26.000 I've wore them twice.

02:16:26.000 Exactly.

02:16:27.000 She bought them a couple years ago.

02:16:28.000 They have tigers on the feet. 0.96

02:16:30.000 You know this hypebeast pervert over here? 0.97

02:16:32.000 He'd wear it all the time. 0.98

02:16:34.000 Whoa, whoa. 1.00

02:16:34.000 You love that bullshit. 1.00

02:16:36.000 You are. 1.00

02:16:37.000 Hypebeast pervert. 1.00

02:16:38.000 He's a hypebeast pervert. 0.99

02:16:39.000 He comes on. 1.00

02:16:41.000 You like to jack off to cool hypebeast shit. 1.00

02:16:43.000 You know you do. 1.00

02:16:44.000 Wow.

02:16:46.000 You don't?

02:16:47.000 It's not a lion, sir.

02:16:48.000 It's like Jordans.

02:16:50.000 Not wearing, like, whatever.

02:16:52.000 Off-white t-shirt or whatever.

02:16:54.000 I saw, what is that guy's name?

02:16:56.000 Philip Plein?

02:16:57.000 How do you say it?

02:16:58.000 Who's that?

02:16:59.000 He's the guy that got in trouble because they took pictures.

02:17:02.000 He took pictures of his sneakers.

02:17:05.000 He didn't get in trouble, but Ferrari got angry at him because he has a Ferrari, and he took pictures of his sneakers sitting on his Ferrari.

02:17:12.000 So what?

02:17:13.000 And Ferrari said that he, they sent him like a cease and desist saying that he's damaging their brand.

02:17:19.000 Uh, his car.

02:17:20.000 Oh, he's a sneaker guy.

02:17:21.000 Philip Pline, I see.

02:17:22.000 How'd he say it?

02:17:23.000 Is it Pline? 1.00

02:17:24.000 So there was a big controversy because, like, hey, he bought your fucking $300,000 car. 0.98

02:17:28.000 He should be able to take a picture of his sneakers on your car. 0.99

02:17:30.000 Set it on fire if he feels like it. 1.00

02:17:32.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:17:33.000 His, it was something about his lifestyle, that the lifestyle that he promotes. 1.00

02:17:37.000 But the lifestyle that he promotes is just his hot girlfriend and him and they're wearing clothes.

02:17:42.000 There's nothing crazy.

02:17:43.000 Who do you think buys Ferraris? 1.00

02:17:44.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:17:45.000 This is it. 1.00

02:17:47.000 That's a dope color for the car. 1.00

02:17:48.000 That is a beautiful fucking color. 0.99

02:17:49.000 I've never seen a green Ferrari like that. 1.00

02:17:51.000 Ferrari threatens to sue?

02:17:53.000 Dude, that makes me want to make a Ferrari that color.

02:17:57.000 That's a dope color.

02:17:59.000 Yeah.

02:18:00.000 Okay, tarnishes the reputation of Ferrari's brands and causes Ferrari further material damage to his behavior.

02:18:06.000 They'll lose that lawsuit.

02:18:07.000 Ferrari's letter to Plein also says that he was using Ferrari's trademarks for the promotional purposes of increasing his own brand and products visibility.

02:18:16.000 Again, the car's pictured are Plein's own.

02:18:18.000 Ferrari is essentially claiming that Plein is harnessing its iconic imagery to bolster his own brand and also denigrate Ferraris.

02:18:26.000 How is it denigrating Ferraris, though?

02:18:28.000 Scroll back up. 0.90

02:18:30.000 It's just a dope-looking color Ferrari and some pretty fucking cool sneakers. 0.93

02:18:34.000 Those are cool. 0.94

02:18:35.000 I don't understand how that's denigrating the brand. 0.99

02:18:37.000 Who do they think is buying fucking Ferraris? 0.98

02:18:39.000 Do they have this idea that it's Harvard grads that are buying Ferraris? 0.99

02:18:43.000 Well, some of them were Harvard grads.

02:18:44.000 I think most people that buy Ferrari didn't go to Harvard.

02:18:47.000 Do me a favor.

02:18:48.000 I want to see a full picture of his green Ferrari.

02:18:51.000 I remember we looked at this before.

02:18:52.000 Those pictures have been taken off Instagram, so like...

02:18:55.000 Oh. 0.98

02:18:55.000 But see if you can just find his green Ferrari, because I know that motherfucker, if he's got a green Ferrari, he takes a lot of pictures of it. 0.98

02:19:02.000 There's no way that's the only picture of his dope green Ferrari. 0.98

02:19:05.000 You would assume Ferrari's brand is to promote people who are, like, self-made, money-making...

02:19:12.000 That's what this guy is, right?

02:19:13.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:19:16.000 Is that it?

02:19:17.000 Is there any other ones?

02:19:18.000 Other photos of it?

02:19:19.000 Yeah.

02:19:20.000 See, it's just all his girlfriend looking hot, and him looking sexy, and here's a dope car.

02:19:25.000 That's a Lambo. 0.99

02:19:25.000 Yeah, here's my gold Lamborghini. 0.99

02:19:28.000 Dope. 1.00

02:19:28.000 Here's my fucking... 1.00

02:19:29.000 Gold plane jet. 1.00

02:19:30.000 He's got a gold jet.

02:19:31.000 That's hilarious.

02:19:32.000 It might be.

02:19:33.000 I was at a store.

02:19:35.000 They have a store in Vegas, and they had $6,000 crocodile sneakers.

02:19:40.000 And I was like, those are pretty dope.

02:19:46.000 I mostly wear chucks or different Converse or skate shoes.

02:19:52.000 I wear a lot of Adidas. 1.00

02:19:54.000 What's the most expensive dumb shit you bought then? 1.00

02:19:57.000 What's the dumbest where you're like, I can't believe I bought the $6,000 crocodile shoes. 1.00

02:20:00.000 What is it? 0.99

02:20:01.000 I don't really have one of those.

02:20:03.000 You got something, dude.

02:20:05.000 Mmm. 1.00

02:20:07.000 Nothing stupid that I don't wear. 0.99

02:20:09.000 My pool case is made out of alligator skin. 0.99

02:20:12.000 But that wasn't that expensive.

02:20:14.000 Was it?

02:20:15.000 A couple thousand bucks.

02:20:16.000 Well, that's pretty expensive.

02:20:17.000 It's handmade.

02:20:18.000 But isn't that relative to pool cues, cases?

02:20:20.000 I mean, don't ever...

02:20:21.000 Yeah.

02:20:21.000 That's a really good one.

02:20:22.000 Right.

02:20:23.000 Nothing too crazy. 0.98

02:20:24.000 There's not something in the house that you're like, why the fuck do we buy that? 0.98

02:20:26.000 That's an insane amount of money for no reason. 0.99

02:20:28.000 The thing that I like that I spend money on that's kind of ridiculous is the cars.

02:20:32.000 Yeah.

02:20:33.000 Classic cars.

02:20:34.000 Yeah, you made fun of my car.

02:20:34.000 You got a thousand of them.

02:20:35.000 I have one.

02:20:36.000 I didn't make fun of it.

02:20:37.000 I just pointed out that you're rich.

02:20:38.000 I'm not rich.

02:20:40.000 I'm on borrowed time.

02:20:42.000 Driving around in an AMG Mercedes.

02:20:44.000 Hey, first of all, first of all, my car costs half as much as Jamie's outfit.

02:20:49.000 Whoa, he's got a Dolph Lundgren t-shirt on. 0.99

02:20:52.000 Why do you keep shitting on Jamie? 0.99

02:20:54.000 Because Jamie doesn't get any flack for being... 0.99

02:20:56.000 Jamie's a billionaire and all the listeners know it by now.

02:21:00.000 Jamie's a multi-billionaire. 0.99

02:21:02.000 Everything Jamie posts online, he has lots of fancy, cool, new shit. 0.98

02:21:06.000 He's mad at my Jordans, that's what I see. 0.98

02:21:08.000 He's 85. I'm a little annoyed.

02:21:10.000 I'm a little annoyed.

02:21:12.000 Annoyed and jealous.

02:21:13.000 The real world is too.

02:21:15.000 Also jealous and annoyed.

02:21:17.000 Jamie gets some great stacks. 1.00

02:21:19.000 Jamie's got some great shit. 0.99

02:21:20.000 It's all love, Jamie. 1.00

02:21:22.000 None of it's hate.

02:21:23.000 Are you still doing a podcast with Bobby Lee?

02:21:26.000 Yes.

02:21:26.000 Me and Robert E. Lee.

02:21:28.000 How often do you guys do it?

02:21:29.000 Every single week.

02:21:30.000 Comes out on Mondays.

02:21:31.000 It's called Bad Friends. 0.96

02:21:32.000 It's the most fucking fun thing I've ever done in my life. 0.96

02:21:35.000 That's great. 0.94

02:21:36.000 We talk to each other for just over an hour about a myriad of things.

02:21:39.000 I set up bits for him to do.

02:21:41.000 We do a bunch of different new fun stuff every single week.

02:21:43.000 It's actually been...

02:21:46.000 Doing my own podcast is fun, but doing one with him has just been like, you know.

02:21:49.000 Dude, he's the perfect guy for podcasts.

02:21:51.000 He really is.

02:21:52.000 Podcasts are a thing for him.

02:21:53.000 It's the thing for him.

02:21:55.000 Yep.

02:21:55.000 He's a hard...

02:21:56.000 He's so silly. 0.97

02:21:57.000 He's a fun guy, and you get to know him, and you love him. 0.98

02:22:02.000 Yeah.

02:22:02.000 Like, he's such a sweetheart.

02:22:03.000 If you go to this week's episode, go to episode three, and...

02:22:06.000 What's with the shelf?

02:22:07.000 Who's the designer? 0.99

02:22:09.000 This is half of the stuff we talk shit about from our fans. 0.90

02:22:11.000 Well, who put that together? 0.99

02:22:13.000 The producer.

02:22:14.000 You have a producer that decorates? 0.99

02:22:16.000 No, we just told him to throw stuff on the walls because we were like, just put up some shit on the wall. 0.95

02:22:19.000 Why don't you put some stuff on the wall that represents what you like? 0.98

02:22:21.000 We're gonna.

02:22:22.000 We're gonna.

02:22:22.000 It's brand new.

02:22:23.000 We just started the whole thing.

02:22:24.000 We haven't done it yet.

02:22:26.000 You need an American flag behind you.

02:22:28.000 That should be what we all do now.

02:22:29.000 Go to episode 3 and go to the beginning, I think, because this is an episode where I brought an airsoft gun to the studio.

02:22:39.000 Bobby with a gun is a, you know...

02:22:40.000 Look at those glasses.

02:22:41.000 You guys are reading a script?

02:22:43.000 What is this?

02:22:44.000 You love letters to each other?

02:22:45.000 Yeah, we're reading sweet, sweet nothings.

02:22:47.000 But Bobby got a gun.

02:22:49.000 I mean, I gave Bobby an airsoft gun.

02:22:51.000 Go to the very end.

02:22:51.000 Who made the animation of Bobby?

02:22:53.000 I don't know who did that one.

02:22:54.000 Isn't that good, though?

02:22:55.000 He's wearing slides.

02:22:56.000 Well, he always wears slides.

02:22:58.000 Look at the animation.

02:22:58.000 He's wearing slides.

02:23:00.000 Go to the very end.

02:23:01.000 Go to the very, very end real quick.

02:23:02.000 The airsoft gun comes out way later there at the very end.

02:23:06.000 Imagine if we all decided that every podcast we're going to have an American flag in the background.

02:23:11.000 We all decided to do it that way.

02:23:13.000 Oh, here it is.

02:23:13.000 Yeah, and I shoot a TV. People didn't like...

02:23:17.000 People got freaked out.

02:23:18.000 They thought it was a real gun.

02:23:19.000 I think this is why you had to be there things.

02:23:21.000 Because right now it's just like you with a gun.

02:23:23.000 Yeah, no, no, no.

02:23:23.000 I know.

02:23:24.000 No, I'm saying, but I brought an airsoft gun, which is a bad...

02:23:26.000 Did you just break the TV? Yeah, Bobby Dare made me shoot the TV, so I did it.

02:23:29.000 We're children.

02:23:31.000 Is that a BB? Like, what's it shooting?

02:23:33.000 It's an airsoft gun.

02:23:33.000 It's a BB gun.

02:23:34.000 Yeah.

02:23:35.000 Oh, so you shot a BB at the TV. Yeah.

02:23:37.000 I could shoot a gun inside of the house. 0.99

02:23:39.000 You broke a TV? Yeah. 0.99

02:23:40.000 Bob does that stuff to me. 1.00

02:23:43.000 Only when I'm with this moron do I do such dumb stuff. 1.00

02:23:45.000 He smokes cigarettes in there too? 1.00

02:23:47.000 Is Bobby smoking again?

02:23:48.000 Yeah, not inside.

02:23:49.000 We make him go outside.

02:23:51.000 How long did he quit for?

02:23:52.000 He quit for a while, didn't he?

02:23:53.000 Yeah, he was vaping.

02:23:54.000 He was vaping for a long time, but now he's back.

02:23:58.000 He's trying to get off of it.

02:24:00.000 He's trying, but we'll see if it actually happens.

02:24:02.000 Well, if he's smoking, he's not trying to get off of it.

02:24:04.000 No, he wants to stop, but you know.

02:24:06.000 Isn't that a weird thing?

02:24:07.000 Like, if you're trying, well, you could just stop.

02:24:09.000 Yeah, I mean, I smoked for a while, and I quit.

02:24:12.000 How long did you smoke for?

02:24:13.000 A couple years.

02:24:14.000 Do you like scars?

02:24:15.000 Nope.

02:24:16.000 You don't?

02:24:17.000 No, because it makes me want to smoke.

02:24:19.000 Like, Burr is always like, what do you mean you don't want to smoke?

02:24:21.000 I was like, because it makes me want to smoke a cigarette.

02:24:23.000 Because sometimes I do want a cigarette.

02:24:25.000 You used to smoke cigarettes, didn't you?

02:24:26.000 Yeah, I could tell.

02:24:27.000 Burr loves the cigars.

02:24:30.000 That's the supplement is drinking.

02:24:33.000 That's because he doesn't want to drink anymore.

02:24:34.000 That's why he likes smoking.

02:24:36.000 I think he liked it when he was drinking, too, though.

02:24:38.000 Yeah, but now more than ever.

02:24:39.000 I think he smokes way more cigars than he ever did when he was drinking.

02:24:41.000 Oh, yeah, probably.

02:24:43.000 Because now he's almost got rid of the sauce completely, right?

02:24:46.000 I think so.

02:24:47.000 Yeah, he went a whole year without drinking.

02:24:49.000 That's nuts.

02:24:51.000 It's funnier than ever, though.

02:24:53.000 Yeah, I don't think I could go a year. 1.00

02:24:54.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:24:55.000 How long do you think I could go without? 1.00

02:24:57.000 What do you think I could do?

02:24:57.000 Have you ever done a month?

02:24:58.000 I've done a month.

02:24:59.000 When did you do a month?

02:25:00.000 You want to do Sobro October with us this year?

02:25:03.000 Okay.

02:25:04.000 Do you?

02:25:05.000 Maybe.

02:25:06.000 I'm very scared and apprehensive about that.

02:25:09.000 You know how much I like drinking.

02:25:11.000 October's my birthday.

02:25:12.000 Oh, sweetie.

02:25:13.000 And I'm going to...

02:25:14.000 Come on.

02:25:18.000 It's hard for me.

02:25:19.000 It's a thing every year.

02:25:21.000 Every year when we do it, I'm like, hmm, this is interesting.

02:25:23.000 It's a thing.

02:25:25.000 But it's so easy for you because nothing has a grasp on you.

02:25:31.000 Like, drinking and smoking a little pot, it doesn't control you the way that, like, Bert, it's a real challenge.

02:25:39.000 Bert not drinking is an actual challenge.

02:25:41.000 For you, I don't think it's a real challenge.

02:25:42.000 Well, it's a challenge in that it's something that you commit to.

02:25:46.000 Yeah, but you do that constantly on your own anyway.

02:25:49.000 You're doing it against guys that don't constantly do it on their own.

02:25:51.000 Yeah, there's a little bit of that, but it's good for people.

02:25:54.000 That's one of the reasons why I did it.

02:25:55.000 But even for me, just knowing that I have to do something for a whole month, and I think that's one of the really good things about when we did that workout challenge, working out six hours a day, you realize you can actually do that.

02:26:07.000 Yeah, that's insane.

02:26:08.000 I never thought he could do that.

02:26:09.000 I never even thought about doing that. 1.00

02:26:10.000 But when you know that you're competing against three other assholes, and you're like, let's fucking do this, bitch. 1.00

02:26:16.000 So everybody's getting up, like all hyped up. 1.00

02:26:18.000 And I would get up and I would read the fitness tracker results that Tom had put in fucking 15 miles earlier in the day. 1.00

02:26:26.000 I'm like, shit! 1.00

02:26:27.000 Yeah, that's insane. 1.00

02:26:28.000 He's on the East Coast, or Ari's doing something crazy where he rides a bike while he's watching a movie for two hours, and he's got this crazy high score.

02:26:36.000 I'm like, oh no.

02:26:37.000 And everybody was doing that. 0.99

02:26:38.000 So everybody was checking their app and then going and doing crazy shit all day. 0.99

02:26:41.000 Right. 0.84

02:26:41.000 So by the end of the month, we were literally working out at least three to four hours every day. 0.84

02:26:47.000 Like, hardcore.

02:26:48.000 That's absurd.

02:26:49.000 That's absurd.

02:26:50.000 I did one day, I did more than seven hours at 80% of my max heart rate.

02:26:56.000 Mm-mm.

02:26:57.000 Yeah, I worked out all day.

02:26:59.000 How much weight are you losing?

02:27:01.000 I was eating everything.

02:27:02.000 You were just constantly eating.

02:27:03.000 I didn't lose any weight.

02:27:04.000 I didn't lose any weight.

02:27:06.000 I was also mixing it up so I wasn't going crazy.

02:27:08.000 I was doing cardio and I was also doing weights and I was doing a bunch of other things and I was eating like a wolf.

02:27:13.000 I mean, eating like a wolf broke into a house and just tearing apart the cupboards.

02:27:19.000 It was horrible.

02:27:21.000 I was drinking a lot of soda, too.

02:27:23.000 Like, I was craving sugar from actual soda, so I was drinking like a whole sugary cream soda.

02:27:29.000 You know, like, I did this elliptical machine for...

02:27:35.000 I don't know how many hours, but it was at least five, maybe six hours on this elliptical machine. 0.99

02:27:41.000 In one fucking sitting? 0.98

02:27:42.000 In one sitting, yeah. 1.00

02:27:43.000 What?

02:27:43.000 Where there's puddles on the ground.

02:27:45.000 I set off the fire alarm in the room from my steam.

02:27:50.000 There's a video of it.

02:27:52.000 I made a video of it, of the puddles on the ground from my sweat and setting up.

02:27:55.000 If you just keep going, see, if you watch movies that are exciting, right, and I have this TV right in front of me, so I'm watching, I watched the scene in...

02:28:05.000 John Wick in the Russian bathhouse where he kills everybody.

02:28:07.000 Yeah, I love that.

02:28:08.000 I watched that scene 50 times in a row.

02:28:10.000 Oh, you just kept looping it?

02:28:11.000 I just kept going back and watching it again. 0.88

02:28:13.000 Because there's something about that scene where you pretend that you're John Wick, or you pretend you're someone who's trying to kill John Wick, and you're in the middle of this whole fucking shootout, stab him, caught that guy, look at this one. 0.90

02:28:26.000 And it's a fucking super intense scene, so I would just watch that scene over and over and over again. 0.74

02:28:31.000 And then I'd watch other movies, and I'd get bored, and I'd go back to that movie again. 0.96

02:28:34.000 And I'd watch John Wick 2 a bunch of times, too.

02:28:36.000 But the hyper-violent scenes, when you watch those, you feel like you're there, like you're locked in.

02:28:42.000 Another thing is fights.

02:28:44.000 I would watch fights all day.

02:28:46.000 While you're on the elliptical.

02:28:48.000 Yeah, because if you're on a bike or an elliptical or a stairmill or something like that, you can watch fights.

02:28:52.000 And you start seeing stuff happen and you're thinking, oh my god, this guy's...

02:28:57.000 Get up, get up, get up.

02:28:58.000 Look out.

02:28:58.000 He goes, oh Jesus, I always hug her.

02:29:00.000 And while you're doing that, the excitement of the fights carries you through your workout.

02:29:05.000 Are you listening to you call a fight?

02:29:07.000 Sometimes. 0.99

02:29:07.000 That's fucking wild. 0.99

02:29:08.000 Yeah, but it's really... 0.99

02:29:10.000 That's...

02:29:11.000 It doesn't matter.

02:29:12.000 What matters is good fights.

02:29:14.000 It doesn't help me hearing my own voice.

02:29:16.000 This is weird.

02:29:16.000 But good fights.

02:29:18.000 Anytime it's a crazy, chaotic fight, you'll get hyped up.

02:29:22.000 And your mind will think about that more than you think about the burning in your lungs or the burning in your legs.

02:29:27.000 And just the momentum of something exciting carries you really far.

02:29:31.000 It's like music?

02:29:32.000 Music carries really far?

02:29:33.000 Music for me.

02:29:34.000 When I go run, it's music.

02:29:35.000 That's it.

02:29:36.000 Like, I've tried to do on the elliptical when I watch something.

02:29:38.000 I can't do that.

02:29:40.000 I just can't.

02:29:40.000 Like, I gotta have something.

02:29:41.000 Music or a podcast or an audiobook, then I can get into it.

02:29:45.000 But if you know that you're gonna be on the elliptical for hours.

02:29:48.000 It'd be hard for me to watch.

02:29:49.000 I don't know why, but I don't like watching something when I'm on a machine.

02:29:52.000 That's why, again, the gym for me is just a place to lift weights in between running.

02:29:59.000 I can't be in there.

02:30:00.000 The elliptical, the treadmills, they give me nightmares. 0.99

02:30:03.000 I'm like, these fucking things. 0.99

02:30:04.000 I just got to be outside. 1.00

02:30:05.000 You like running outside.

02:30:06.000 Yeah, I do.

02:30:06.000 I just can't do it.

02:30:07.000 No, it makes sense.

02:30:08.000 Yeah, I can't do it.

02:30:09.000 Yeah.

02:30:10.000 I can't do it. 1.00

02:30:11.000 Yeah, I've never done a spin class, but people love that shit. 0.99

02:30:15.000 Nope, not gonna do that. 1.00

02:30:16.000 Look at you.

02:30:17.000 I did the Peloton in a hotel.

02:30:18.000 I did Peloton once in a hotel.

02:30:20.000 One time?

02:30:21.000 Yeah, and my tush was in such pain. 1.00

02:30:25.000 My undercarriage, my grundle, my nifkin, and my asshole were in pain. 1.00

02:30:29.000 I don't think you're supposed to sit down. 1.00

02:30:31.000 Well, I was putting the seat in my asshole. 0.99

02:30:32.000 I thought that was what you were supposed to do the whole time. 1.00

02:30:34.000 I spit on it.

02:30:35.000 No, I did it.

02:30:36.000 I did the workout, and it was a great workout.

02:30:38.000 I will say it was awesome, but I don't like bikes that much.

02:30:42.000 I don't like biking that much.

02:30:44.000 It's just not for me.

02:30:45.000 Well, it's always more exciting to do something fun, like if you can play a game.

02:30:49.000 If you can play basketball and you get your cardio from that, it's always better.

02:30:52.000 That's great.

02:30:53.000 That's the best.

02:30:53.000 Yeah, or soccer.

02:30:54.000 Soccer is an awesome game for cardio.

02:30:56.000 Jesus, who has to be in better cardiovascular shape than soccer players?

02:31:00.000 No, but they run for 90 minutes straight, no breaks.

02:31:01.000 Yeah, and then they have another game tomorrow.

02:31:03.000 Yeah, it's...

02:31:03.000 Yeah, you got another...

02:31:06.000 All right, boys, rest up.

02:31:07.000 You got one in eight hours. 0.98

02:31:08.000 I mean, those dudes are always fucking cutting left and cutting right and stopping. 0.98

02:31:12.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97

02:31:13.000 Those guys are in probably the most high-end cardio shape of all pro athletes.

02:31:17.000 They also pretend to get hurt worse than anybody in any other sport.

02:31:22.000 Yeah, that's part of the thing, you know?

02:31:23.000 I don't really love that, but it's part of the thing.

02:31:25.000 Ian Edwards was trying to explain it to me one time.

02:31:27.000 I just couldn't.

02:31:29.000 I was like, I don't know.

02:31:30.000 Imagine this is a sport where a big part of the thing is pretending you got hurt.

02:31:33.000 Oh! 0.60

02:31:34.000 Oh! 0.60

02:31:36.000 You have to fall down.

02:31:37.000 You have to fall down and pretend you got hurt.

02:31:40.000 Imagine a UFC fight if a guy walks in, flinches, and the other guy's like, and he has to get down, and the ref's like, I'm warning you, dude.

02:31:46.000 Either hit him, don't flinch.

02:31:48.000 Well, that's like, you know, they're flopping.

02:31:51.000 Flopping in the NBA. Flopping is a weird thing.

02:31:53.000 They do it in the NBA as well?

02:31:54.000 It's a big thing, man. 0.99

02:31:56.000 It sucks. 0.97

02:31:57.000 It used to not be. 0.98

02:31:58.000 But it used to not be at all.

02:32:00.000 But the idea is that you can get someone to call a foul, trick the ref, and then, yeah.

02:32:06.000 Yeah, and then when you start to build up fouls against the other team, they can foul out.

02:32:09.000 Why don't they check the replay before they ever do anything like that?

02:32:13.000 They do.

02:32:14.000 Okay, so if a guy flops and you know for sure that he's faking it, why can't you penalize him?

02:32:22.000 I mean, that's just not part of the game. 0.99

02:32:23.000 How about you pull out a bitch card on it? 1.00

02:32:26.000 Bitch. 1.00

02:32:26.000 You pull out a pink card. 1.00

02:32:27.000 Bitch. 1.00

02:32:28.000 In soccer, you get a yellow card if you're being a bitch. 1.00

02:32:30.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

02:32:32.000 That's a coward. 0.97

02:32:32.000 That's even better than pink. 0.97

02:32:34.000 Because pink can be powerful. 0.88

02:32:35.000 You can get a technical in basketball.

02:32:37.000 You can get a technical foul in basketball.

02:32:39.000 So pretending to be hit is a technical foul?

02:32:42.000 They don't really do it for that, though.

02:32:44.000 What do they do it for?

02:32:44.000 Like yelling or fighting or touching the ref.

02:32:47.000 Or if you're enticing some bullshit. 0.99

02:32:48.000 Like if a guy's flopping and the ref knows he's full of shit and he's trying to entice this guy, he'll give them a tech if they're jawing at each other because that's usually what happens. 0.99

02:32:56.000 So in one way, it kind of leads down the same road. 1.00

02:33:00.000 You end up getting—the refs call out the bullshit. 0.99

02:33:02.000 They have to do it in a different way. 0.99

02:33:03.000 Or they'll hit you with an unnecessary foul to check you to be like, I know what you're up to. 1.00

02:33:07.000 You're full of shit. 1.00

02:33:09.000 Taking a charge means if you stand still, someone's got to run into you. 1.00

02:33:13.000 Sometimes they'll call it on you just to be like, you know you're cheating a little bit.

02:33:17.000 You're stepping in the way.

02:33:19.000 You're breaking the rules.

02:33:20.000 Yeah, I don't know basketball enough to know what's going on.

02:33:24.000 The difference, I think, between a fight and an octagon referee versus an NBA referee, the guys in the NBA are controlling the game.

02:33:33.000 Every game is different.

02:33:34.000 There are rules, but...

02:33:37.000 Some are easily bendable or breakable at times depending on what is actually going on.

02:33:42.000 You might allow a travel if a player doesn't actually get an advantage on that.

02:33:45.000 You're right.

02:33:46.000 You just took an extra step.

02:33:47.000 You don't want to slow the game down.

02:33:48.000 You don't want to ruin everything they paid there to get.

02:33:50.000 It's kind of like intervening in a fight too much if a ref is coming in. 0.96

02:33:54.000 You don't want to really fuck up the rhythm of this thing because you know for the player's purpose and the fighter's purpose and for the entertain, at some point you're like, You're just ruining the fucking thing for everybody. 0.85

02:34:04.000 Wasn't there an issue years ago that referees were being paid by, like, gamblers? 0.88

02:34:11.000 Oh.

02:34:11.000 Tim Donahue, there's a whole, like, he's explained it a lot about, well, he said he was betting on advantages that he knew about, not necessarily, like, Making something happen in a different way.

02:34:20.000 I call bullshit. 0.80

02:34:21.000 Weren't there referees, though, that were accused of doing certain things? 0.99

02:34:25.000 Well, this guy got caught.

02:34:26.000 And he was a referee?

02:34:27.000 And he went to jail?

02:34:28.000 Yeah.

02:34:29.000 That makes sense.

02:34:29.000 He got caught.

02:34:30.000 He got fucked. 0.99

02:34:31.000 I mean, this actually happens more often than not. 0.99

02:34:33.000 I mean, the most famous betting story is Pete Rose in baseball.

02:34:36.000 They don't think he did anything to somehow or another...

02:34:42.000 Well, he never bet on his team's games.

02:34:45.000 That was his thing.

02:34:46.000 I thought he did, though. 0.99

02:34:48.000 I thought someone called bullshit on that. 0.96

02:34:50.000 I don't think they ever found it. 0.98

02:34:51.000 I don't think he was betting on his own.

02:34:53.000 Why don't you Google, did Pete Rose ever bet on his own games?

02:34:57.000 But anyway, so the problem was that he bet on baseball.

02:35:02.000 Well, yeah, but Tim Donaghy, the NBA ref, they said they were betting on games.

02:35:07.000 No, but I mean Pete Rose.

02:35:08.000 Yeah.

02:35:09.000 He said he only bet on his team to win.

02:35:11.000 He never bet against them, right.

02:35:12.000 He bet on other games and then only bet on them to get a W. Well, man, am I wrong in thinking that that should be okay?

02:35:19.000 I don't think it's wrong.

02:35:20.000 If you bet on your team to win...

02:35:21.000 Why wouldn't you bet on your team? 1.00

02:35:22.000 Put your money where your mouth is, bitch. 1.00

02:35:23.000 There's no book obtained that says in 1986 he bet against the team. 1.00

02:35:26.000 He bet against them.

02:35:27.000 Dude, that's what I read.

02:35:28.000 That's right, that's right.

02:35:29.000 Okay, so that's the issue.

02:35:30.000 But I think you should be able to bet for your team to win.

02:35:33.000 Yeah, for your team to win for sure.

02:35:35.000 In a fight in Vegas, can't you put a bet on you to win?

02:35:37.000 Could you bet on yourself to win?

02:35:39.000 Yeah, guys do that.

02:35:40.000 Yeah, I think that's totally fine.

02:35:41.000 A lot of fighters have bet on themselves to win.

02:35:42.000 Well, why not?

02:35:43.000 I don't understand why not.

02:35:44.000 They should totally be able to do that.

02:35:45.000 But they're a one-man team.

02:35:47.000 I think the real question would be if he bet against his team, and it says he did, and if that is the case, and he did something to win the bet, and tried to cost his team, like made decisions that weren't the best decisions, put the wrong people in his pitchers.

02:36:00.000 Well, then the other side of it is, even on a one-man team, let's say me and you are fighting.

02:36:04.000 I bet me to win, but you know that you're going to throw the fight, and I'm going to get you some of the winnings.

02:36:08.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:36:09.000 That's the other side of it.

02:36:11.000 Oh, okay, because there's other people involved.

02:36:13.000 Yeah, you could definitely do that.

02:36:14.000 We could make agreements.

02:36:16.000 Yeah, that would be the thing.

02:36:17.000 If I said, hey, man, you've got to throw this fight.

02:36:19.000 I'm basically paying you to throw the fight, knowing that I'm betting on myself to win.

02:36:23.000 Yeah.

02:36:24.000 Yeah?

02:36:25.000 Yeah, and I would bet against myself. 1.00

02:36:26.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:36:27.000 Right. 1.00

02:36:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:36:28.000 People have definitely done that.

02:36:29.000 Yeah, that's where it gets shady.

02:36:31.000 Well, referees in boxing, for sure, have been shady, and so have judges.

02:36:36.000 Judges have been caught, for sure, rendering decisions that didn't make any sense, and then, you know...

02:36:42.000 Taking money?

02:36:43.000 Yeah, they must have.

02:36:44.000 I mean, I don't know how many times they've been, like...

02:36:47.000 Let's find out.

02:36:49.000 How many boxing judge arrested for corruption?

02:36:53.000 Just Google that.

02:36:54.000 This Pete Rose thing is very confusing.

02:36:56.000 Oh, yeah?

02:36:56.000 It's more about, I guess, if he bet while he was a player versus being a manager.

02:37:02.000 And it says, documents obtained by outside lines reflect betting records from 1886, which is when he was a player.

02:37:10.000 1886?

02:37:10.000 Sorry, 1986. Jesus Christ.

02:37:12.000 It showed no evidence that Rose, who was a player, manager them, bet against his team.

02:37:16.000 Sorry, I misread that when I said that.

02:37:17.000 Well, yeah, but that was the stipulation of the Hall of Fame.

02:37:19.000 Okay, so there's no evidence that he bet against himself or his team.

02:37:23.000 Good.

02:37:23.000 Okay, then I'm fine with it again.

02:37:25.000 Yeah.

02:37:25.000 Yeah, I mean, you know what I mean?

02:37:26.000 Like, if I was a fucking player and the coach said, I just put five ground on you motherfuckers, let's do this shit. 1.00

02:37:32.000 I'd be like, that coach believes in us. 1.00

02:37:33.000 Fucking A. He's putting his money on it. 0.99

02:37:36.000 You know, the argument was whether or not he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

02:37:39.000 Of course he does.

02:37:40.000 You know, that was the whole thing.

02:37:41.000 Of course he does.

02:37:42.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:37:42.000 It's a savage sport where guys are hitting a leather-covered ball of string.

02:37:48.000 You know?

02:37:49.000 Yeah, what do you want?

02:37:50.000 I mean, you're smashing this thing, and you're running around.

02:37:53.000 It's a sport. 0.84

02:37:55.000 Sports are all dominated by savages. 0.90

02:37:57.000 Pops up on this guy. 0.94

02:37:58.000 What is this?

02:37:59.000 Maybe the worst referee. 0.95

02:38:00.000 I guess it's videos about the boxing thing.

02:38:04.000 Oh, there was a really bad stoppage this past weekend in the UFC. Really bad.

02:38:09.000 Really bad.

02:38:10.000 That gets so much controversy, huh?

02:38:12.000 This one was a bad one.

02:38:13.000 It was the worst stoppage I've ever seen.

02:38:17.000 There was this guy.

02:38:20.000 You can find it in the UFC's...

02:38:22.000 I've got to remember how to say this guy's name.

02:38:25.000 Why did he claim he stopped the fight?

02:38:26.000 Well, the referee...

02:38:27.000 I don't want to call the referee out.

02:38:29.000 There's no need to.

02:38:29.000 Everybody knows who it is.

02:38:31.000 He's a nice guy. 1.00

02:38:32.000 He fucked up. 1.00

02:38:33.000 Referees fuck up sometimes. 1.00

02:38:34.000 He thought the guy was hurt. 1.00

02:38:35.000 And he wasn't hurt.

02:38:36.000 He was faking it.

02:38:38.000 Okay, so the Magomed Ankalev, I think that's how you say it, and I forget I say Kutabela's first name.

02:38:47.000 I think it's Eon.

02:38:48.000 I think it's Eon Kutabela.

02:38:50.000 So Kutabela was playing possum.

02:38:53.000 If you watch the video, you can see the video.

02:38:55.000 It looks like he's playing possum.

02:38:57.000 See, he's pretending that he's hurt.

02:38:59.000 See, he got hit for sure, but look how he's waggling his head back and forth.

02:39:04.000 He's trying to sucker him in for that right hand.

02:39:06.000 He's trying to pretend that he's hurt and then throw that right hand.

02:39:09.000 And the referee stops the fight while he's throwing punches.

02:39:12.000 But look at him, look at him.

02:39:13.000 As soon as the referee stops the fight, he's like, I'm fine. 1.00

02:39:15.000 What the fuck are you doing? 0.98

02:39:17.000 That's not a guy who's rocked. 1.00

02:39:19.000 If you watch it again, you can see that he definitely is getting hit, but you can also see that that's fake.

02:39:28.000 That's wobbly with the head.

02:39:31.000 He's trying to lure the guy into thinking that he's so hurt.

02:39:35.000 That he can't control himself and he's trying to throw haymakers.

02:39:38.000 But he's also definitely getting hit too.

02:39:40.000 So I could see how the referee fell for it.

02:39:42.000 But you gotta let guys fight.

02:39:45.000 You gotta let guys fight.

02:39:46.000 And sometimes referees, in the interest of the fighter, trying to save a guy from damage, they step in and they make a mistake.

02:39:53.000 That's an easy mistake to make.

02:39:55.000 Because it is a really bad stoppage.

02:39:56.000 But because the fact that he was faking like he was hurt.

02:40:00.000 But he wasn't faking like he was hurt enough to stop a fight.

02:40:02.000 No, it didn't look like it.

02:40:03.000 When a guy's swinging back with big wild haymakers, he could win at any time.

02:40:08.000 Yeah, dude.

02:40:08.000 Right?

02:40:09.000 I mean, we've seen that in a lot of fights. 0.99

02:40:10.000 A few of those looked fucking brutal. 0.85

02:40:11.000 I mean, there's been many, many fights where you see a guy win a fight that he's getting dominated because he catches a guy who gets overzealous and tries to finish him off. 0.97

02:40:20.000 That's what we got robbed of. 0.99

02:40:21.000 The referee fucked up. 1.00

02:40:22.000 Or the, you know, the referee... 1.00

02:40:25.000 I mean, he fucked up, but he also was a little bit tricked by this guy's trying to lure this guy in by pretending and then exploding. 0.99

02:40:34.000 Right. 0.99

02:40:35.000 He didn't look like...

02:40:35.000 But even if the guy was really that rocked, it wasn't enough to stop the fight.

02:40:39.000 That guy was throwing back.

02:40:40.000 He was defending himself.

02:40:41.000 He was moving back with his hands up, and he's throwing in a fight.

02:40:44.000 You know, the fight just doesn't end when someone gets hit.

02:40:46.000 Right.

02:40:47.000 Like, no, the fight ends when you can't protect yourself anymore.

02:40:50.000 When it was defenseless, yeah.

02:40:51.000 He was not defenseless.

02:40:52.000 He was very dangerous still.

02:40:54.000 That was a bummer to watch.

02:40:55.000 That's one of those things where, well, you feel bad for the guy. 0.99

02:40:57.000 He fucked up a little bit. 0.97

02:40:59.000 He's not a, you know... 0.99

02:40:59.000 The referee's not a bad guy. 0.99

02:41:00.000 He just fucked up. 0.99

02:41:01.000 And then the fighter, you gotta think, that guy trained for months for that moment. 1.00

02:41:05.000 And he's trying to sucker this guy in.

02:41:08.000 I mean, maybe he's got this thing that he does.

02:41:10.000 Is he Russian?

02:41:11.000 He pretends like he's hurt.

02:41:12.000 I don't know where Kutabel is from. 0.96

02:41:14.000 Because that ref's gonna die. 1.00

02:41:15.000 I don't remember. 0.85

02:41:15.000 If he's Russian, that ref's dead. 0.85

02:41:18.000 Ref's dead in a month.

02:41:19.000 I don't think it's a corruption thing.

02:41:21.000 I think that's just a mistake.

02:41:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:41:23.000 It's fucking hard, man. 0.99

02:41:24.000 Moldova. 0.99

02:41:25.000 Moldova.

02:41:26.000 Moldova. 1.00

02:41:26.000 It's a fucking hard job, man. 1.00

02:41:28.000 You're in there, and these dudes are throwing their fucking knees in each other's faces. 1.00

02:41:31.000 Right. 1.00

02:41:32.000 Head kicking each other.

02:41:34.000 And it's just you.

02:41:35.000 Yes.

02:41:35.000 That's the other thing.

02:41:36.000 Other sports have many refs.

02:41:37.000 You're the only one, dude. 1.00

02:41:38.000 And you're all on edge and shit. 0.99

02:41:40.000 When do I stop it? 1.00

02:41:41.000 When do I stop it? 1.00

02:41:41.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:41:42.000 Yeah, the pressure is insane. 1.00

02:41:43.000 So many other sports can rely on other referees to go, oh shit, I think we fucked up or I fucked up. 0.99

02:41:47.000 This one is like, it's this, dude. 1.00

02:41:50.000 That was a bad call.

02:41:51.000 Yeah, that was a bad call.

02:41:53.000 It happens.

02:41:54.000 It's a hard gig, Tantino.

02:41:55.000 It's a tough gig to do.

02:41:57.000 Bro, we didn't even talk about your show.

02:41:58.000 You have a new show.

02:41:59.000 I got a new show.

02:42:00.000 Doesn't it come out today or something?

02:42:01.000 Comes out today.

02:42:02.000 Next week?

02:42:02.000 Comes out today.

02:42:03.000 March 4th?

02:42:04.000 It's already March 4th.

02:42:05.000 Comes out today.

02:42:06.000 How is it March 4th?

02:42:07.000 I don't know.

02:42:08.000 I feel like I've been abducted by aliens and time's been stolen from me.

02:42:12.000 It comes out today on FXX and on Hulu. 0.98

02:42:14.000 You and that little dicky! 1.00

02:42:16.000 Me and little dicky. 0.99

02:42:17.000 Hey! 0.99

02:42:18.000 There it is.

02:42:18.000 Who's that guy?

02:42:19.000 Wait, wait, hold on.

02:42:20.000 When you play a clip about what I said about the show, I can't believe they left it in.

02:42:25.000 Is that Little Dicky's parents?

02:42:27.000 That's his parents that play his parents on the show.

02:42:28.000 Look at the very end, there's a clip I say.

02:42:31.000 Nah, keep going.

02:42:32.000 Me, that's me talking head.

02:42:33.000 Listen to what I say about the show.

02:42:34.000 You're going to love it.

02:42:34.000 Turn this up.

02:42:35.000 And everyone should be embarrassed to be a part of it.

02:42:38.000 Alright.

02:42:38.000 It's a great show.

02:42:39.000 It's a great show.

02:42:40.000 I actually think it's going to be one of the best shows ever.

02:42:42.000 Lil Dicky thinks it's going to be one of the best shows ever.

02:42:44.000 So congratulations on being a part of one of the best shows ever.

02:42:47.000 I hope so.

02:42:48.000 I just think it's funny the FX guy was like, how do you think? 0.91

02:42:50.000 You know, they're fucking rousing me into saying something. 0.96

02:42:52.000 I go, I think it's one of the worst shows of all time and everyone should be embarrassed to be a part of it. 0.98

02:42:55.000 And he's looking at me like...

02:42:58.000 I'm like, dude, I'm a comedian.

02:42:59.000 It's a joke. 1.00

02:43:00.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:43:00.000 This is a comedy. 1.00

02:43:01.000 And they took it so serious.

02:43:03.000 Doomed.

02:43:03.000 And they're making comedy.

02:43:05.000 Doomed.

02:43:05.000 Get out of there.

02:43:06.000 Come back to the store.

02:43:08.000 Why are you on TV? Stop it.

02:43:10.000 See?

02:43:11.000 These are the guys that are doing the promo, the advertising company.

02:43:14.000 They come in and be like, hey, tell us about the show. 0.99

02:43:17.000 It's like, what do you want me to fucking say? 0.95

02:43:18.000 I'm never good at those. 0.98

02:43:19.000 You need a better agent.

02:43:20.000 That has nothing to do.

02:43:22.000 Agent shields you from that and says, Mr. Santino, let's not talk to you. 0.99

02:43:26.000 People that don't know what the fuck is going on. 0.98

02:43:26.000 That's like when you go to a premiere. 0.98

02:43:27.000 When you do a premiere, they ask these questions.

02:43:30.000 Don't go to the premiere.

02:43:31.000 You have to.

02:43:32.000 You don't have to?

02:43:33.000 You do.

02:43:33.000 It's in your contract.

02:43:34.000 You gotta go. 1.00

02:43:34.000 You gotta get a better agent that doesn't put that shit in your contract. 1.00

02:43:37.000 Joe, see what he does? 1.00

02:43:39.000 Stop fucking laughing. 1.00

02:43:40.000 This is him just baiting me to get angry about it. 1.00

02:43:42.000 You have to go.

02:43:42.000 I don't have a choice.

02:43:43.000 Look, but the show is good.

02:43:45.000 People watch the show.

02:43:45.000 It's gonna be good.

02:43:46.000 That's what's important.

02:43:46.000 Yeah, the show is good.

02:43:47.000 Watch the show. 0.96

02:43:47.000 It's gonna be fucking funny. 0.96

02:43:48.000 And if it's not, it's all Joe Rogan's fault. 0.97

02:43:50.000 You see him aggressive.

02:43:52.000 Because you know how to get my goat. 1.00

02:43:55.000 Like you don't fucking know. 1.00

02:43:58.000 Watch the show. 0.99

02:43:59.000 Watch the show on...

02:44:00.000 You in town Thursday night?

02:44:02.000 No, I go to...

02:44:03.000 I'm in Philly this weekend. 1.00

02:44:05.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:44:06.000 You leave when? 1.00

02:44:07.000 Thursday?

02:44:07.000 Thursday.

02:44:07.000 I'm in Philly all weekend.

02:44:09.000 Where are you?

02:44:09.000 Punchline in Philly.

02:44:10.000 Nice.

02:44:11.000 Come see me in Philly.

02:44:12.000 Nice.

02:44:13.000 Telling them good jokes.

02:44:14.000 Dom Herrera called me last night.

02:44:15.000 Who are you working with there?

02:44:17.000 An incredible young comic named Chris O'Connor, who's great, dude.

02:44:21.000 I say young comic.

02:44:22.000 He's my, you know, young guy, I mean.

02:44:24.000 He's a Philly guy, now lives in New York. 0.98

02:44:26.000 He's fucking phenomenal. 0.85

02:44:28.000 So he'll be out there with me having some fun, and then a local young, probably funny host, hopefully. 0.98

02:44:33.000 Beautiful.

02:44:34.000 Is tickets still available?

02:44:35.000 A few are still left.

02:44:37.000 A few are still left for Philly, and then I've got a bunch of dates. 0.99

02:44:39.000 Cincinnati, I'm going to fucking buttfuck Ohio, you know? 0.98

02:44:41.000 Is it Cheeto Santino? 1.00

02:44:42.000 Bro, he's shitting in Ohio again. 0.99

02:44:44.000 He knows it's all love. 0.99

02:44:46.000 Good luck going there.

02:44:48.000 They take Ohio seriously.

02:44:50.000 I'm doing Cincinnati and Cleveland at the end of the month.

02:44:53.000 All that stuff is on AndrewSantino.com and then you and I have some fun together in 420, baby.

02:44:57.000 That I'm excited for.

02:44:58.000 You, me, and the Golden Pony.

02:44:59.000 That's right.

02:44:59.000 We're flying all the way to Vancouver.

02:45:01.000 I can't wait for that.

02:45:02.000 There's still some tickets but not much.

02:45:04.000 A lot of nosebleeds left.

02:45:06.000 We're doing an arena on 420 in Vancouver.

02:45:10.000 And how many seats do you know?

02:45:11.000 Do you remember?

02:45:13.000 Thousands.

02:45:14.000 Thousands.

02:45:15.000 Thousands and thousands.

02:45:16.000 Yeah, man, I'm happy.

02:45:17.000 It's like 13,000 or something like that.

02:45:18.000 I love doing it. 0.87

02:45:19.000 I love doing my own shows, and I love coming and doing your big fucking massive insane shows. 0.99

02:45:25.000 Those are ridiculous. 0.99

02:45:26.000 I'm still not used to them. 0.98

02:45:27.000 Arenas?

02:45:28.000 How could you ever get used to it?

02:45:29.000 It's such a weird...

02:45:30.000 It's so weird.

02:45:30.000 But you don't love it as much as when we do theaters.

02:45:33.000 I love all of it.

02:45:34.000 You see, but don't you like theaters more connectivity-wise?

02:45:38.000 It is, but there's something wild about doing 14,000 people.

02:45:42.000 Like that San Diego 420 last year? 0.98

02:45:44.000 That was fucking wild. 1.00

02:45:45.000 That shit was wild. 1.00

02:45:46.000 Also, we got high before, and I thought I got nervous. 0.99

02:45:51.000 Like, I gotta do push-ups or sit-ups.

02:45:53.000 Of course you did.

02:45:54.000 I got too baked.

02:45:55.000 14,000 people in an arena on 420. It was awesome.

02:45:59.000 It's gonna happen again in Vancouver this year.

02:46:01.000 Yeah.

02:46:02.000 I'm excited.

02:46:03.000 All right.

02:46:03.000 Me too, brother.

02:46:04.000 No, it's Andrew Santino.

02:46:05.000 You should make it CheetosSantino.com.

02:46:06.000 No, it's CheetosSantino.

02:46:07.000 Oh, my website's Andrew Santino, but it's CheetosSantino across social media.

02:46:10.000 Who has CheetosSantino.com? 0.99

02:46:11.000 I can't fuck with Cheetos because Lay's will sue me. 0.99

02:46:14.000 But just get CheetosSantino.com so someone doesn't fuck it up. 1.00

02:46:18.000 I'm gonna do it before they shut me down.

02:46:19.000 Okay.

02:46:20.000 We should probably edit that part out so people don't hear it.

02:46:24.000 Goodbye, everybody!

02:46:29.000 Have fun show!

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 06, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1438 - Andrew Santino

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Summary

Transcript