The Joe Rogan Experience - March 27, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1449 Bryan Callen

Topics
Above the Law movie Nick Prentice NAD IV drips footwear getting new legs Evergreen comedy club idea Evergreen Salt Lake ethnic diversity graph moving wolves into Colorado Moose Attack Sled Dog Team cock rings porn porn taboo Operation Paperclip scientists Menser scars disappeared whistleblowers and government power military-industrial complex homelessness solutions homelessness and addiction COVID and political ideologies drug issue blow death whistle progressive ideology and pedophilia
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Mentioned
Kevin Czar Hegan Jesus Christ Will Sasso Bernie Sanders Diane Carroll Jamie Trump Hoist Gracie David Sinclair Malik B Dude Brendan Schaub Jean-Jacques Sam Harris Brian Callen Arnold Schwarzenegger Brian Cooley Joe Newman and 109 more
Joe Rogan Experience #1448 - Joey Diaz Joe Rogan Experience #1450 - Brian Redban

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 47 minutes

Words per minute

198.87

Word count

33,215

Sentence count

4,600

Harmful content

Misogyny

112

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,081

sentences flagged

Hate speech

69

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the boys talk about their favorite parts of being a shooter and talk about the things they would do if they were in charge of a SWAT team. They also talk about how they would handle a hostage situation, and some of the craziest things they've ever done in the military. Also, we talk about Steven Seagal and how he should have been in a coma for a few days and what he would do when he woke up. We also talk a little bit about our favorite movies and the things we would do to make sure that we were ready for the day when we got the order to go into combat. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting apps! Thanks for listening and Happy New Year! Have a great rest of your week and stay safe out there in the Wild West! Cheers, EJ & Brian XOXO - The Crew at The Wild West Boys Podcast and Cheers from The Wildwood Boys! - EJ and the Crew at the Wildwood Crew! CHEERS! Don't Tell a Friend About This Podcast: eJ & The Crew Brian & EJ are your Hosts? EJ is a Podcast Hosted By: EJ ( ) & the Crew is Hosted by: Ej ( ) and the crew is . ( ) . Ej is a Former Navy SEAL ( ) EJ talks about being a Shooter, a Tactical Shooter, Operator, Tactical Shooter & Tactical Shooter and Tactical Shooter. . . . EJ tells us about his experience as a little something called EJ has a little about his day job, and EJ does a little more than that. EJ gets a chance to learn how to hold a gun, and how to shoot a gun in the wild west, and he gives us some tips on how to be a little better than EJ can do a good job with a gun? , EJ gives us a little on what to do a better than that we can do than that, and we do a little less than that... ...and EJ shares some tips to make us some more like that, so we can help us out in a way we can be a better job than that! .EJ does it better than we do that, too! and he's a good one.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 Yeehaw! 0.92
00:00:02.000 Here we are.
00:00:03.000 Are you a shooter?
00:00:05.000 Well, dude, my ears are covered for the second time today.
00:00:09.000 I'm just going to say that.
00:00:11.000 And I'm a...
00:00:12.000 Ask me that day and ask me if...
00:00:14.000 Are you a shooter?
00:00:15.000 That's funny.
00:00:16.000 I'm a tactical...
00:00:16.000 Are you an operator?
00:00:17.000 I'm a tactical shooter, bro.
00:00:18.000 I'm a tactical shooter.
00:00:20.000 So you ever done...
00:00:20.000 We went to Tarrant Tactical today and Brian Cowan learned the ins and outs.
00:00:26.000 Learned how to lean forward.
00:00:27.000 Had some Navy SEAL instruction as well.
00:00:29.000 Yeah.
00:00:29.000 How to hold a pistol correctly.
00:00:31.000 Yeah.
00:00:32.000 How'd you feel?
00:00:33.000 I love it.
00:00:33.000 Fun, right?
00:00:34.000 I've been doing it in my head forever.
00:00:35.000 Oh, in your head.
00:00:36.000 Yeah.
00:00:37.000 That doesn't really work, does it?
00:00:38.000 I've rehearsed killing a gang many times.
00:00:41.000 A whole gang? 0.97
00:00:42.000 Sure.
00:00:43.000 Lean in.
00:00:43.000 Kick, kick, kick.
00:00:44.000 And I go like this. 1.00
00:00:45.000 Why don't you shoot them in the knee and rehabilitate them? 1.00
00:00:47.000 Oh, that's such a good idea. 1.00
00:00:49.000 Because they don't have knee targets.
00:00:51.000 If they had just a bunch of knees. 0.99
00:00:52.000 But they have little tiny targets on the ground.
00:00:53.000 Which I don't like.
00:00:55.000 Because I'm like, what am I shooting, babies?
00:00:56.000 I was going to say, they're the size of a toddler.
00:00:59.000 Yeah, that's weird. 1.00
00:00:59.000 I'm like, alright, so I've got to kill the toddler with one shot. 1.00
00:01:01.000 A kid with a missile. 1.00
00:01:03.000 Yeah, I was pretty accurate with that. 0.71
00:01:04.000 That's kind of sick.
00:01:06.000 But, yeah, that's a good idea.
00:01:08.000 I could either waste them or wing them.
00:01:10.000 I wing them.
00:01:12.000 And then take them in and teach them the error of their ways.
00:01:14.000 Yeah.
00:01:15.000 And at the end, they'll be loyal to you.
00:01:16.000 I toss them an herbal remedy, an herbal...
00:01:21.000 Rap. 0.99
00:01:21.000 Like Steven Seagal had in that one movie where he was in a coma for like 10 years and then he was kicking everybody's ass a couple days later. 0.99
00:01:28.000 I don't care what everybody says, that shit was factual. 0.99
00:01:30.000 Do you remember that movie? 0.99
00:01:31.000 Very well.
00:01:32.000 It's called Above the Law.
00:01:33.000 No, no, no.
00:01:34.000 You're way out of line.
00:01:35.000 No, Above the Law was the first movie.
00:01:37.000 Yeah.
00:01:37.000 This was deep into his career.
00:01:38.000 He's in a coma.
00:01:39.000 Kelly LeBrock is the nurse.
00:01:40.000 Yeah, he had already gotten fat by this time.
00:01:42.000 Oh, he had.
00:01:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:43.000 That's where he ran terribly.
00:01:45.000 He always runs terribly.
00:01:46.000 Yeah.
00:01:46.000 But in the early movies, he was skinny.
00:01:48.000 And above the law, he was skinny.
00:01:49.000 Yeah.
00:01:49.000 But then by the time he got to this other movie where he's in a coma forever, like, look at his fingers moving.
00:01:55.000 He's waking up.
00:01:55.000 Look.
00:01:56.000 Awesome beard.
00:01:56.000 Actually, he wasn't too fat.
00:01:57.000 No.
00:01:58.000 Wasn't too fat.
00:01:59.000 He looks great there.
00:02:00.000 But he'd already, you know, started to fill in his hair.
00:02:02.000 And so then he was in a coma forever and then gets out of the coma.
00:02:07.000 Remember it very well. 0.99
00:02:08.000 And starts doing all sorts of Chinese herbs and shit to become a bad... 0.98
00:02:12.000 Oh, see, he was pretty skinny back then. 0.99
00:02:14.000 Yeah, he was.
00:02:15.000 Loved it.
00:02:15.000 So this was early in the career.
00:02:17.000 Yeah, he heals himself.
00:02:19.000 I would throw them an herbal wrap and tell them how to wrap it and then say, training begins tomorrow at dawn.
00:02:28.000 And then you wake them up.
00:02:30.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:02:30.000 Hey, man, fuck you. 1.00
00:02:31.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:02:32.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:02:33.000 And I'd be on horseback for no reason. 1.00
00:02:35.000 Really?
00:02:35.000 I think so.
00:02:36.000 You and horses.
00:02:37.000 Because there's something very masculine.
00:02:38.000 How many bits do you have when you're on a horse?
00:02:40.000 It's my entire act.
00:02:42.000 Yeah.
00:02:45.000 It's my entire act.
00:02:47.000 There are a couple things I want to do before I die.
00:02:50.000 One is to toss somebody an herbal wrap and say, training begins tomorrow, or be there tomorrow, and I want to rehabilitate at-risk youth.
00:02:59.000 But they're like 20. And then I want to rear up on a horse.
00:03:04.000 I want to rear up on a horse.
00:03:06.000 But I want to appear out of nowhere, rear up on a horse, and rescue a group of women in the wilderness.
00:03:14.000 A group of women in the wilderness?
00:03:16.000 What are they in the wilderness for?
00:03:17.000 They got lost.
00:03:18.000 Were they hikers?
00:03:19.000 They were...
00:03:19.000 Their plane went down.
00:03:21.000 Nobody got hurt, but it skidded along a glacial lake.
00:03:24.000 Their plane went down?
00:03:24.000 Yeah.
00:03:25.000 Skidded.
00:03:25.000 And they said, we can't find them.
00:03:26.000 It's impenetrable.
00:03:27.000 It's so elaborate.
00:03:27.000 It's impenetrable.
00:03:28.000 And then you go in... 1.00
00:03:29.000 And they go, fuck. 1.00
00:03:31.000 Fetch... 1.00
00:03:32.000 Fetch the... 1.00
00:03:35.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:03:36.000 Fetch the man panther. 1.00
00:03:37.000 The man panther?
00:03:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:38.000 That's my nickname.
00:03:39.000 Do you know about this guy?
00:03:41.000 His name is Dick Pronicke.
00:03:44.000 And he was a guy who lived in Alaska by himself in a cabin that he built for decades.
00:03:53.000 Yeah.
00:03:53.000 And he moved out there when he was 50 years old.
00:03:56.000 He got tired of life.
00:03:58.000 And just the way everything was, the fast pace of modern life.
00:04:03.000 So this guy decided, this guy, amazing videos on YouTube.
00:04:07.000 This guy built his own house out there in Alaska, fashioned it out of logs.
00:04:15.000 There's like a video of him doing the whole thing.
00:04:18.000 Filmed everything.
00:04:19.000 Filmed all of his interactions with animals.
00:04:22.000 Birds would come and land on his hand and he would feed them.
00:04:24.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:25.000 He was you.
00:04:26.000 He literally is you.
00:04:28.000 Stoic by himself and wrote.
00:04:31.000 You know me.
00:04:32.000 Stoic and real solitary.
00:04:33.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:34.000 And, you know, real measured with his words.
00:04:37.000 Of course.
00:04:38.000 It's everything you want to be.
00:04:40.000 And he would sit and every night he would write.
00:04:43.000 And he would write about his experiences and the deep satisfaction that he got off of living that kind of a life.
00:04:48.000 There's some amazing videos.
00:04:50.000 Pull up one of the videos so you can watch how this guy's living his life out there.
00:04:54.000 But, you know, he would only see people like once or twice a year when they would drop off goods and things that he needed.
00:05:00.000 But this guy was, you know, he wasn't a spring chicken.
00:05:04.000 He moved out there when he was in his 50s.
00:05:06.000 Wow.
00:05:07.000 Yeah.
00:05:07.000 And when was this?
00:05:09.000 I want to say he had to move back with his brother, I want to say in the early 2000s, somewhere around then.
00:05:17.000 That looks like 16mm film.
00:05:20.000 Yeah.
00:05:21.000 Oh, dude, he lived out there for decades, like I said.
00:05:23.000 Wow.
00:05:24.000 Yeah, by himself. 1.00
00:05:25.000 You've got to know your shit. 1.00
00:05:26.000 To be out there by yourself? 1.00
00:05:27.000 Uh-huh.
00:05:28.000 Well, I think most of it he learned.
00:05:30.000 Once he got there and he talked about it, he talked about what the experience was like about just, you know, learning how fatiguing it is to hike.
00:05:38.000 Oh yeah.
00:05:38.000 Learning how fatiguing it is to gather up your own firewood.
00:05:41.000 And he made most of his own tools.
00:05:43.000 Like right there he's making a mallet himself.
00:05:45.000 He drills a hole in it with a hand auger.
00:05:48.000 And then he makes his own peg.
00:05:51.000 And he only brought in tools to make tools.
00:05:55.000 And the big tools like that he made all of himself.
00:05:59.000 That's amazing.
00:05:59.000 Dude!
00:05:59.000 And what did he live on?
00:06:01.000 Just deer meat?
00:06:02.000 Yeah.
00:06:03.000 Elk meat, deer meat, berries.
00:06:04.000 He got some oatmeal and stuff.
00:06:07.000 You know, some dry goods that he would get in large barrels.
00:06:10.000 So he'd come in and touch base periodically.
00:06:12.000 They would come to him.
00:06:14.000 People would fly out to him with goods.
00:06:16.000 God. 1.00
00:06:16.000 But, I mean, he built all this shit by himself. 1.00
00:06:19.000 He built his whole cabin by himself. 1.00
00:06:21.000 And he documented every step of the way.
00:06:24.000 Amazing.
00:06:24.000 His name is P-R-O-E-N-N-E-K-E. Dick Prenike, Alone in the Wilderness, is the whole series on YouTube.
00:06:33.000 And he's on the side of a lake with this cabin that he built, living off of...
00:06:39.000 Animals that he hunted and firewood and, you know, whatever food that he gathered.
00:06:46.000 I'm obsessed with this now.
00:06:48.000 This corona thing caught me with my pants down.
00:06:52.000 Here's what I want.
00:06:53.000 I want a substantial cabin made of thick logs or stone, and then I want it near a lake or a water source, preferably a well, that I can irrigate my own crops.
00:07:06.000 You're going to have crops?
00:07:07.000 I'm going to have chicken.
00:07:08.000 I need chickens. 0.99
00:07:09.000 You really only need a garden.
00:07:10.000 You don't need crops.
00:07:11.000 It's just you.
00:07:11.000 I need a garden.
00:07:12.000 Is it just you?
00:07:13.000 Yes.
00:07:13.000 Well, it might be me and several of my lady friends because I'm going to start my own colony so I have to breed.
00:07:21.000 You understand?
00:07:21.000 Okay.
00:07:22.000 I need a lot of hair and beard dye because I want to stay looking young.
00:07:27.000 What if they come up with something that reverses you in age?
00:07:29.000 Now you're talking my language.
00:07:31.000 How old would you like to go back to?
00:07:32.000 David Sinclair will actually have a cabin on the side.
00:07:34.000 He'd be right next to you doing experiments. 0.99
00:07:35.000 I'm gonna have his fucking lab and I'm gonna be his guinea pig. 0.99
00:07:38.000 Yeah, you'd be the guy. 1.00
00:07:39.000 Yeah.
00:07:40.000 David, come out.
00:07:41.000 Come on out.
00:07:42.000 And I'll just do Tyson.
00:07:43.000 I'll entice him with all the girls. 0.89
00:07:44.000 Well, he's not into that.
00:07:46.000 He's a married man.
00:07:46.000 Leave him alone.
00:07:47.000 All right.
00:07:47.000 But he'd like to come out just to hang out and pal around for a few days.
00:07:50.000 He's a fun guy.
00:07:51.000 He seems like a good guy.
00:07:52.000 He's a great guy.
00:07:53.000 Yeah.
00:07:53.000 And he's brilliant.
00:07:54.000 And he's brilliant in the field.
00:07:57.000 That's very important.
00:07:58.000 What do you mean?
00:07:59.000 You're getting old.
00:08:00.000 That's right.
00:08:01.000 Yeah.
00:08:01.000 That's right.
00:08:02.000 You want to be Dick Prenicke where you had to escape your wilderness paradise because you're too old?
00:08:09.000 There are a couple things.
00:08:09.000 One more thing I want to do is I want to split with my shirt off while I have women watch me through the window of my log cabin as they're baking me a pie.
00:08:17.000 Now, I know this is a chauvinistic fantasy.
00:08:19.000 It sounds like it.
00:08:20.000 Don't worry. 1.00
00:08:20.000 You sound like a real piece of shit right now. 1.00
00:08:21.000 The other thing I want to do before I die is I want to have a horse I'm so attached to that I can go... 1.00
00:08:26.000 And then it just shows up.
00:08:27.000 Sort of like Brad Pitt's Pitbull in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?
00:08:31.000 Correct.
00:08:32.000 I'd kill for one of those.
00:08:34.000 That Pitbull was perfect. 1.00
00:08:35.000 That was fucking great. 1.00
00:08:37.000 That thing just fucking... 1.00
00:08:39.000 It knew what to do, when to do it. 1.00
00:08:41.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 They don't use...
00:08:43.000 The cops, I heard, don't use Mastiffs, even Rottweilers, because they do too much damage. 0.79
00:08:48.000 They don't let go.
00:08:48.000 Yeah.
00:08:49.000 They don't like to let go.
00:08:50.000 Then you get a major lawsuit on your hand. 1.00
00:08:51.000 You can't have something bite your fucking hand off. 0.99
00:08:53.000 Well, I was watching a fucking video of a guy in San Diego who got arrested by these cops, and the cops couldn't get the German Shepherd off his arm. 1.00
00:08:58.000 Whew. 0.98
00:08:59.000 The German Shepherds clamp down this guy's forearm, this guy's screaming, and they're pulling on the dog, and the dog's pulling on the meat of his arm.
00:09:06.000 You gotta choke the dog. 1.00
00:09:07.000 You don't pull on the dog.
00:09:07.000 Bro, they weren't interested in choking the dog.
00:09:09.000 Apparently they thought this guy was a bad person, and they were letting this dog chew this guy's arm up, and you get permanent nerve damage.
00:09:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:09:16.000 I mean, it's just devastating to the tissue in your forearm.
00:09:19.000 I've seen video of it where I said to the cop, he showed it to me, I said, why didn't that guy, who's this giant AWOL, he went AWOL, just giant, he used to be a special forces guy, and he just went crazy. 0.97
00:09:30.000 And they let that dog loose on, because they had two cops that he was fighting off, and they let this wolf, this fucking wolf loose, and grabbed the dude on the top of his arm. 0.90
00:09:39.000 He had huge arms, like Brennan Schaub, like big arms. 0.99
00:09:43.000 Grabbed The guy just, in the middle of his craze, he looked at the dog and then just went, he froze and went down.
00:09:52.000 And I said, why isn't he punching?
00:09:53.000 And he goes, because you shut down.
00:09:55.000 Because when he bit that arm, that arm went numb.
00:09:59.000 You can't use that arm. 1.00
00:10:00.000 That's a fucking wolf. 1.00
00:10:01.000 The pain. 1.00
00:10:02.000 The excruciating pain of a German Shepherd biting into your arm.
00:10:06.000 Yeah.
00:10:07.000 Not good.
00:10:08.000 Or a real wolf.
00:10:09.000 Well, now you've got a problem.
00:10:10.000 You can't train them.
00:10:11.000 Now you've got yourself a problem.
00:10:12.000 They're not interested in listening.
00:10:14.000 They're not interested in listening.
00:10:14.000 Good luck getting a wolf to attack.
00:10:16.000 I'll tell you who's not hearing a fucking peep out of a wolf, and I'm talking about a timber wolf. 0.99
00:10:20.000 Not a peep. 0.99
00:10:21.000 Who?
00:10:21.000 It's Mr. Mountain Lion.
00:10:23.000 Okay?
00:10:24.000 I wonder how that works, mountain lions versus a wolf.
00:10:27.000 I'll tell you exactly how.
00:10:28.000 Ready?
00:10:28.000 Yeah.
00:10:29.000 The wolf dies.
00:10:30.000 Really?
00:10:31.000 That's right.
00:10:31.000 Have you seen it?
00:10:33.000 There's a video of it, first of all.
00:10:35.000 Really?
00:10:35.000 Yep.
00:10:35.000 Mountain lion versus a wolf.
00:10:37.000 Mountain lion's on his back, by the way.
00:10:39.000 Wolf tries to get over it, and mountain lion gets under the old jawline.
00:10:43.000 Oh, gets the neck. 1.00
00:10:44.000 Yeah.
00:10:44.000 And by the way, God holds on with those...
00:10:47.000 Claws.
00:10:47.000 That's right.
00:10:48.000 They have claws. 0.92
00:10:49.000 Yeah.
00:10:49.000 And it's more athletic.
00:10:50.000 It's 150 pound, 140 pound, 130 pound mountain lion.
00:10:53.000 Good luck with that. 0.99
00:10:54.000 And they fight solo, they don't need a bunch of pussies backing you up. 1.00
00:10:57.000 And they go low. 1.00
00:10:59.000 They go fucking low. 1.00
00:11:00.000 Like a lion. 1.00
00:11:01.000 And there's no sound.
00:11:03.000 There's a great video of a water buffalo charging a lion, a male lion, and the male lion literally waits until the water buffalo is closed in the distance and then ducks under and grabs ahold of it by the neck and just hangs on.
00:11:16.000 Wow.
00:11:16.000 Actually, it might not have been a water buffalo.
00:11:18.000 It might have been something else.
00:11:20.000 It was a cow. 1.00
00:11:21.000 Some other rugged animal.
00:11:23.000 It was a rugged animal.
00:11:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:11:25.000 I forget which animal it was, but the animal makes a rush at the lion like, hey, fuck you. 1.00
00:11:29.000 And the lion's like, no, fuck you. 1.00
00:11:34.000 One of the problems when you have a game reserve is that if you have a Prada Lions, you are going to pay so much money keeping that reserve stocked because a Prada Lions goes through crazy amounts of meat every single day, every other day. 1.00
00:11:49.000 So they will decimate.
00:11:51.000 They'll go through a whole herd of buffalo. 0.93
00:11:52.000 Well, that was an issue after the dentist shot that line with a name.
00:11:58.000 Yeah.
00:11:58.000 Remember that line with a name?
00:11:59.000 Cecil.
00:11:59.000 Cecil.
00:12:00.000 And then, do you know that they were worried that Cecil's brother Jericho was killed?
00:12:05.000 But no worries.
00:12:06.000 It was a line that didn't have a name, so...
00:12:09.000 So close.
00:12:10.000 Literally, I read an article that we're being serious about that.
00:12:12.000 They're being serious.
00:12:13.000 There was a real concern that Cecil's brother Jericho had also been killed, but turned out not to be true.
00:12:18.000 It drives me nuts.
00:12:19.000 It's the real Lion King.
00:12:21.000 Anyway, when they killed that lion, when that dentist killed that lion, well, they then after that had this thing, this international outcry where nobody wanted to go there and hunt lions because they didn't want to be the next guy that gets targeted like that dentist.
00:12:38.000 So because of that, they had to slaughter a large number of lions.
00:12:44.000 I'm sure.
00:12:46.000 People don't have any idea what it is to sustain.
00:12:50.000 The number was crazy.
00:12:51.000 It was something like, I don't remember if it was 50 or 500. Yeah.
00:12:55.000 But it was like they had to kill them, and instead of getting $50,000 per lion, like they're accustomed to getting when people, because they have all these lions, the lions had decimated the undulate population.
00:13:05.000 Of course.
00:13:06.000 Because no one was killing the lions anymore.
00:13:07.000 It's like elephants.
00:13:08.000 So now, with elephants, you can't move one member of the herd or two members.
00:13:14.000 Elephants have to be moved as a herd, otherwise they go nuts, right?
00:13:17.000 So the females rule the roost, but you can't just take three elephants from that herd and then move them over to the game. 1.00
00:13:24.000 You've got to take them all, otherwise they really get fucked up. 0.99
00:13:27.000 Yeah, they love each other. 0.99
00:13:28.000 They love each other.
00:13:29.000 But then also when you call elephants, which you have to do in Kruger National Park and things like that.
00:13:34.000 Why do they have to?
00:13:35.000 Because they get too destructive.
00:13:36.000 They just get too many of them and they just lay waste to the vegetation.
00:13:39.000 It just becomes an imbalance.
00:13:41.000 So the problem is that they were like, you can't shoot them from helicopters anymore or jeeps or whatever. 0.99
00:13:46.000 And they would kill the whole herd because you can't just kill a couple. 0.98
00:13:49.000 Right? 1.00
00:13:50.000 Because they go nuts.
00:13:51.000 And then they can't do anything with the ivory because the ivory trade's illegal.
00:13:54.000 Correct.
00:13:55.000 So then they store that.
00:13:56.000 So then you jack up the price of ivory, which they do the same thing with rhino horn.
00:14:00.000 But so what now they try to do is they try to sterilize the females, right? 0.90
00:14:06.000 They'll try to...
00:14:07.000 Oh, great.
00:14:08.000 Good luck with that.
00:14:09.000 That's a lot of fun.
00:14:10.000 Yeah.
00:14:10.000 That's really difficult to do as well.
00:14:12.000 You know, they were trying to do that in the Hamptons.
00:14:14.000 They were trying to do that with deer.
00:14:15.000 They were trying to give the female deer birth control. 1.00
00:14:18.000 Just let the men fucking shoot dead loads into them. 1.00
00:14:21.000 Yeah, go ahead and shoot the deer. 1.00
00:14:23.000 I'll eat them. 0.97
00:14:23.000 Well, that's what they should do. 0.97
00:14:25.000 Yeah.
00:14:25.000 Yeah.
00:14:25.000 I mean, but they didn't.
00:14:27.000 They decided for whatever goofy reason that what they were going to do is try to give them birth control. 0.67
00:14:33.000 And they were going to spend countless amounts of dollars to get birth control into deer.
00:14:39.000 Jesus.
00:14:40.000 What are you gonna do?
00:14:42.000 Do you know how many there are?
00:14:44.000 Apparently they're infested out there.
00:14:46.000 After watching Tiger King, what is your take on keeping tigers as pets? 0.97
00:14:51.000 It's ridiculous. 0.89
00:14:52.000 First of all, I only watched one half of one episode. 0.95
00:14:55.000 I had a pause. 0.97
00:14:57.000 Jamie and I were getting NAD IV drips, which is pretty fucking amazing. 0.51
00:15:02.000 What is NAD? That's the stuff that David Sinclair was talking about. 0.82
00:15:06.000 Well, let's get old Bri on the NAD train.
00:15:09.000 Old Bri might be a little cheap.
00:15:10.000 It's expensive.
00:15:11.000 Yeah?
00:15:11.000 Yeah, it costs a pretty penny.
00:15:13.000 I want to live forever.
00:15:14.000 Okay.
00:15:15.000 We'll talk afterwards.
00:15:16.000 Okay.
00:15:16.000 I don't know.
00:15:16.000 I've done two, and I feel pretty good.
00:15:18.000 You feel any different, Jamie?
00:15:19.000 Yeah.
00:15:20.000 I can probably say I feel pretty good, especially just sitting around inside.
00:15:24.000 Yeah, but it feels like the second one really took it over the top.
00:15:27.000 What does it do?
00:15:28.000 I have more energy.
00:15:29.000 I feel like really vibrant.
00:15:31.000 I feel great.
00:15:32.000 But it's hard to tell.
00:15:33.000 What does that mean?
00:15:34.000 I don't know.
00:15:35.000 I'm sleeping eight hours a day.
00:15:37.000 I'm staying at home with my family.
00:15:38.000 I'm not traveling on the road.
00:15:39.000 You know, I mean, it's like, how am I sure this is it?
00:15:42.000 But apparently, scientifically, it's provable.
00:15:44.000 Right.
00:15:44.000 Lengthens your telomeres.
00:15:46.000 It actually decreases your biological age.
00:15:48.000 Wow.
00:15:48.000 It's been proven, David Sinclair said that NAD, HGH, and there was one other, DHEA, those three things in combination have been shown to reverse your biological age.
00:16:00.000 Wow.
00:16:01.000 Yeah.
00:16:02.000 Crazy. 0.99
00:16:03.000 So I'm like, look, while this shit's going down, I want to keep my immune system at fucking tip-top magoo, as Joey Diaz would say. 1.00
00:16:09.000 Tip-top magoo. 0.99
00:16:11.000 One of the greatest Joey Diaz expressions ever.
00:16:14.000 But it's just one of those things where there's a few different scientific advances that they can absolutely show that will decrease your biological age and show that there's an increase in your vitality, your ability to recover, all these different things.
00:16:30.000 So I'm getting in on all that.
00:16:31.000 Well, in the Tiger King, back to that, you know, he had 227 tigers as pets.
00:16:37.000 Seems like a good number. 1.00
00:16:38.000 They live in a fucking cage. 1.00
00:16:40.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:16:40.000 And then he had chimps. 1.00
00:16:42.000 Chimps should never be kept in a cage.
00:16:44.000 No. 1.00
00:16:44.000 I don't give a fuck what anybody says. 1.00
00:16:45.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:16:45.000 So there's certain things I just don't think should be... 0.98
00:16:47.000 If it's a professional zoo like San Diego and they have habitat...
00:16:51.000 I agree.
00:16:51.000 Even then it's disturbing.
00:16:52.000 But at least kids get to see them and it educates, you know, the general population.
00:16:56.000 But when you've got 10,000 tigers as pets...
00:16:59.000 Yeah.
00:17:00.000 I don't know, man.
00:17:01.000 Do you remember my bit from Triggered from 2016?
00:17:04.000 I loved your original Tiger bit.
00:17:07.000 Oh, I've said so many Tiger bits.
00:17:09.000 One of the greatest bits ever. 0.98
00:17:13.000 You can make the argument for two Tigers fucking was one of the greatest bits ever. 0.99
00:17:19.000 You should do it You should do that fucking bit. 0.96
00:17:23.000 I don't think that bit is on anything. 1.00
00:17:25.000 That's crazy.
00:17:26.000 You should do that bit.
00:17:28.000 You should revive that bit.
00:17:30.000 And you should tape it and you should put it out there.
00:17:33.000 Let me say it again.
00:17:35.000 I know comedy is doing this a long time.
00:17:36.000 It is...
00:17:38.000 Top three bits of all time.
00:17:41.000 That's very nice of you.
00:17:42.000 But it is!
00:17:43.000 I think it might be on an audio recording.
00:17:45.000 God, it was the first time I saw that we were at the comedy store.
00:17:50.000 Oh, it's on I'm Gonna Be Dead Someday.
00:17:51.000 That bit gets destroyed in the audio version. 0.99
00:17:54.000 You gotta see the fucking visual. 0.98
00:17:56.000 You have to see the visual. 1.00
00:17:57.000 Dude, when you're making the noises...
00:18:00.000 That was the first bit that I ever did where I realized, like, you have to kind of become the thing.
00:18:04.000 Yeah.
00:18:05.000 Like, you got to become the thing. 1.00
00:18:06.000 Like, I would make noises, like, try to be me still, but then I realized, like, oh, I just got to become like a tiger fucking. 0.99
00:18:14.000 That's what I love about certain bits. 0.97
00:18:16.000 Like, for me, I do this thing about having an abusive father who was a piano teacher.
00:18:20.000 Don't ask.
00:18:23.000 And I talk about his mustache.
00:18:25.000 The bristles were so thick, they belonged on the back of a boar, not under a man's nose.
00:18:29.000 And I go into this whole character, and I love to lose myself into that character.
00:18:34.000 When I do that English supervillain, it's so fun to get lost in that character. 0.83
00:18:41.000 Because you can think like that person.
00:18:43.000 That must be the appeal of a guy like a Daniel Day-Lewis.
00:18:46.000 Of course.
00:18:47.000 Someone who can really encapsulate.
00:18:50.000 They do something where they become that.
00:18:55.000 They become that.
00:18:56.000 And some people never do that.
00:18:58.000 They're just always acting.
00:19:00.000 Like, oh, here's that guy acting in a movie.
00:19:02.000 I know who he is.
00:19:03.000 There he's acting.
00:19:04.000 And then some people just become.
00:19:06.000 Jeffrey Tambor, who's won a bunch of Emmys for Transparency, he said that for him it was about shoes.
00:19:13.000 He'd have to figure out what kind of shoes.
00:19:14.000 He'd have to feel it first in his feet, which makes sense.
00:19:17.000 When you wear sneakers or you wear leather-soled shoes, you feel different.
00:19:23.000 You're not as secure in leather-soled shoes.
00:19:25.000 You automatically become more formal when your toes are pushed together, when you're constrained like that.
00:19:31.000 It's a weird thing to think, but it does change you.
00:19:34.000 Yeah, you can't even move good in other sold shoes.
00:19:37.000 They're slippery.
00:19:38.000 Correct.
00:19:39.000 So if you see people...
00:19:40.000 I can tell a lot about somebody by their footwear.
00:19:42.000 If they're wearing sandals, typically I can tell you what their political vent is.
00:19:48.000 Those are dad sneakers. 0.99
00:19:51.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
00:19:52.000 Game over. 1.00
00:19:53.000 And I do what I want in Joe Rogan shoes. 1.00
00:19:55.000 You don't know Chuck's shit. 1.00
00:19:56.000 No, I like them. 1.00
00:19:57.000 These are trail runners.
00:19:57.000 I know what they are.
00:19:58.000 What are they?
00:19:59.000 They're trail runners.
00:20:00.000 These are Solomons.
00:20:01.000 They're excellent shoes.
00:20:02.000 Speed cross.
00:20:02.000 I know all about them because I almost bought them for...
00:20:04.000 You run hills with these.
00:20:05.000 See that?
00:20:05.000 When we were going to go hunting with Rinella, I know all about those shoes.
00:20:08.000 Is your traction?
00:20:08.000 They're awesome.
00:20:09.000 It says tread.
00:20:10.000 Yeah.
00:20:10.000 So if you're going to go up like...
00:20:13.000 Slippery terrain.
00:20:14.000 This gives you grip.
00:20:15.000 I run trails, bro.
00:20:17.000 But also you're like, I don't care, and I'll just wear those.
00:20:19.000 There's a little bit of that.
00:20:19.000 Also, there's no shoelaces.
00:20:21.000 Correct.
00:20:21.000 So I go like this.
00:20:22.000 I cinch them tight.
00:20:22.000 Yep.
00:20:23.000 And then I put it in here.
00:20:24.000 Very easy.
00:20:25.000 I tuck it in there.
00:20:26.000 Yay! 0.99
00:20:26.000 And you can go to the airport real easy with these on, too. 0.99
00:20:28.000 You know who's never getting caught with those?
00:20:30.000 You know who's never getting caught with those?
00:20:31.000 Brian Carroll?
00:20:32.000 Nope.
00:20:32.000 I'll do it.
00:20:33.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:20:34.000 Brennan Schaub. 1.00
00:20:34.000 No, no chance. 1.00
00:20:35.000 I showed him to him once and he almost threw up.
00:20:37.000 Yes.
00:20:38.000 Yes.
00:20:39.000 I wear these all the time.
00:20:40.000 He can't handle it.
00:20:41.000 Yeah.
00:20:41.000 I wear these.
00:20:42.000 I wear chucks.
00:20:43.000 Yeah.
00:20:44.000 But if I'm doing anything in dirt, they're like a middle ground between wearing a boot.
00:20:49.000 Yeah.
00:20:50.000 They're great.
00:20:51.000 I wear them hunting sometimes.
00:20:53.000 Yeah.
00:20:53.000 I looked at those for hunting.
00:20:54.000 Yeah.
00:20:55.000 A lot of guys in elk hunting in particular, because you're so mobile, you're constantly chasing these massive herds and you're moving around and going through...
00:21:02.000 You have to come elk hunting with me.
00:21:03.000 You've never been elk hunting.
00:21:05.000 I need the meat.
00:21:06.000 That's disturbing to me.
00:21:06.000 Well, I have plenty of meat for you.
00:21:08.000 I have the meat for you.
00:21:09.000 Listen, you've seen me shoot.
00:21:10.000 You've seen me how I lean into my targets.
00:21:11.000 Just a couple hours ago.
00:21:16.000 You seem like you were born for it.
00:21:18.000 Not only that, I go, get down!
00:21:19.000 Notice how I said that?
00:21:20.000 Oh, you didn't hear that?
00:21:21.000 I had earplugs in, though.
00:21:22.000 Oh, I was on radio.
00:21:24.000 Get down.
00:21:24.000 Also, you say things in a way that only people around you can hear.
00:21:29.000 That's true.
00:21:30.000 You have the right amount of projection so the enemy never hears you.
00:21:33.000 I speak cryptically. 0.99
00:21:35.000 Andy Stumpf, I did his podcast and he had me, he wanted to see what kind of a tactical asshole I am. 0.99
00:21:41.000 And he had me watch, you know, film. 0.99
00:21:45.000 Oh, wearing a shirt.
00:21:45.000 Oh yeah.
00:21:45.000 Cleared Hot.
00:21:46.000 He was on last week.
00:21:47.000 Great podcast.
00:21:48.000 I love him.
00:21:48.000 The best.
00:21:49.000 The best.
00:21:50.000 And he had me look at different movie scenes and break down what was wrong.
00:21:55.000 I was wrong all...
00:21:56.000 I was completely wrong about everything.
00:21:58.000 I thought that when you shot a gun with a suppressor, it was like...
00:22:03.000 No, it's pretty loud.
00:22:04.000 Pretty loud.
00:22:04.000 You've never shot a gun with a suppressor?
00:22:06.000 I have, actually, in Utah.
00:22:09.000 It's loud.
00:22:09.000 I was wearing earphones, so I couldn't...
00:22:12.000 But it's nothing like a rifle.
00:22:14.000 No.
00:22:15.000 When we were hunting in Prince of Wales, I had that gun with a muzzle brake.
00:22:21.000 So loud.
00:22:22.000 Yeah, it's a 7mm Remington Ultramag.
00:22:24.000 It's a very loud gun.
00:22:25.000 Dude, that's so loud outside it can hurt you.
00:22:27.000 They say if you...
00:22:28.000 They say if you're too close to that, you can damage your ears permanently.
00:22:32.000 100%.
00:22:32.000 Yeah.
00:22:33.000 One of my friends, there was a guy who shot near him, shot too close to his ear.
00:22:40.000 He's a guide.
00:22:41.000 And this guy apparently went to swing.
00:22:46.000 The animal was close by.
00:22:47.000 He's here.
00:22:48.000 The animal's close by.
00:22:49.000 Something happened where he shot really close to his head and blew his ears out.
00:22:53.000 Now he only has hearing aids. 1.00
00:22:55.000 Damn! 1.00
00:22:55.000 He has to wear hearing aids. 1.00
00:22:56.000 Because that rifle, the trigger is so sensitive.
00:23:00.000 It's unbelievable.
00:23:02.000 Yeah, the idea is they don't want you to pull in hard.
00:23:04.000 But different people have different theories on that.
00:23:06.000 It's the same with archery.
00:23:08.000 With archery, some people like a very sensitive trigger, and some people like a trigger that's very hard to pull so that you can't just jerk on it.
00:23:18.000 Because you have to pull, pull, pull, pull, bang, and then it goes off.
00:23:22.000 You know, like...
00:23:22.000 When you shoot archery, it's very interesting, but you would think, like say if you have like a wrist strap with a trigger on it, you would think that when you draw back you go like that.
00:23:32.000 Yeah.
00:23:33.000 But you would use your finger to hit the trigger, but you actually don't.
00:23:38.000 Some people do.
00:23:39.000 Some people actually can do and shoot.
00:23:41.000 Cam Haynes does it that way. 1.00
00:23:43.000 Shoots very well that way, but Cam Haynes is a psychopath. 0.99
00:23:45.000 He's a different human being.
00:23:47.000 Most people, there's something about that thing that starts a flinch, an anticipation flinch.
00:23:52.000 It doesn't with him, but some people, they get a thing called target panic.
00:23:55.000 So to get away from target panic, what they do is, instead of pulling the trigger, you wrap your finger around the trigger, and the trigger's stiff.
00:24:02.000 And then you use your back muscles.
00:24:05.000 So then you aim and you go like this.
00:24:07.000 You just pull with your back muscles and it goes off without you even moving your finger.
00:24:12.000 So once I would hook my finger on it, my finger's in place and then I'm just pulling and pop!
00:24:16.000 It goes off.
00:24:17.000 Oh, that's nice.
00:24:18.000 Yeah.
00:24:19.000 Is it a crossbow?
00:24:20.000 Does it have more range? 0.99
00:24:21.000 A crossbow is basically a shitty gun. 0.99
00:24:24.000 It is. 0.99
00:24:24.000 Just get a gun. 0.99
00:24:25.000 Yeah.
00:24:25.000 What are you doing?
00:24:26.000 You're not an archer.
00:24:27.000 No.
00:24:27.000 What are you doing?
00:24:27.000 You got a shitty gun.
00:24:28.000 It's a shitty gun. 1.00
00:24:29.000 You think you're in Walking Dead? 0.99
00:24:31.000 Are you that guy with the motorcycle?
00:24:32.000 Personally, yes.
00:24:33.000 Listen, that whole Walking Dead thing is so fraught with peril.
00:24:37.000 First of all, how come there's no pass-throughs?
00:24:39.000 You're shooting into these mushy zombie heads.
00:24:41.000 It goes right in there. 0.77
00:24:42.000 Why doesn't it blow out the other side?
00:24:44.000 Yeah.
00:24:44.000 It would, wouldn't it?
00:24:45.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
00:24:46.000 It would blow through an elk. 1.00
00:24:47.000 Really?
00:24:48.000 Yes!
00:24:48.000 Jesus Christ.
00:24:49.000 100%. 0.99
00:24:49.000 Those things are going fucking 500 feet a second. 0.99
00:24:52.000 Which is why I told Andy Stumpf the Special Forces should have a crossbow division. 0.98
00:24:56.000 They should.
00:24:57.000 Not.
00:24:58.000 They should not.
00:24:59.000 But also, he doesn't even have real tips.
00:25:02.000 Those crossbows, they're using field tips.
00:25:04.000 It's basically a pencil point.
00:25:05.000 It's like poking you and making a hole in you.
00:25:08.000 It's not going to kill you.
00:25:09.000 Oh, what do you mean?
00:25:10.000 The crossbow?
00:25:11.000 The crossbow's not going to kill you with those tips on it.
00:25:14.000 It's a little hole.
00:25:15.000 It'll make a little pencil hole that'll go through you. 1.00
00:25:17.000 And your body would seal up the wound.
00:25:19.000 Is that true?
00:25:20.000 Yes! 0.99
00:25:20.000 So you could shoot me with a crossbow with one of those arrows? 0.99
00:25:22.000 You'd be fucked up, but you would live. 1.00
00:25:25.000 Huh. 1.00
00:25:25.000 Unless it was in my heart. 1.00
00:25:27.000 Yeah, that would probably kill you. 0.99
00:25:29.000 But like one of your lungs, you'd probably live. 0.99
00:25:31.000 But if you shot someone with a crossbow that had a real broadhead on it, the broadhead would slice you wide open like a samurai sword right through your whole body.
00:25:41.000 Yeah, that's what it's like. 0.99
00:25:42.000 So easy to kill. 0.88
00:25:44.000 Why are human beings so easy to kill? 0.97
00:25:45.000 Well, because we're smart.
00:25:46.000 We have nuclear weapons.
00:25:47.000 True.
00:25:48.000 That's how nature balances it out, right? 1.00
00:25:50.000 Turtles are stupid as fuck. 1.00
00:25:51.000 That's why they have that awesome cage over their whole body. 1.00
00:25:54.000 It's true.
00:25:54.000 It's true.
00:25:55.000 That's what it is.
00:25:56.000 Look, there's a balance to things.
00:25:59.000 And we respect that balance.
00:26:00.000 And we also, we want that balance to exist in everything. 1.00
00:26:04.000 That's why if we see a hot girl, we want her to be stupid. 1.00
00:26:06.000 Correct. 1.00
00:26:07.000 That's why.
00:26:08.000 Correct. 1.00
00:26:08.000 People get caught with their pants down when you think a hot girl is stupid and she turns out to be very intelligent. 1.00
00:26:13.000 Perhaps more intelligent than you. 0.99
00:26:14.000 Well, speaking of that, when I saw that we met the director of John Wick today.
00:26:19.000 Yes.
00:26:19.000 And he's a handsome, athletic-looking fella.
00:26:22.000 He's a good-looking guy.
00:26:23.000 He doesn't look like a director.
00:26:24.000 No.
00:26:25.000 He used to be a stuntman.
00:26:25.000 He was a kickboxer and a Muay Thai guy.
00:26:27.000 But he used to be Keanu Reeves' stunt double, I guess.
00:26:31.000 Yeah.
00:26:31.000 But I looked at him and I was like, well, this dude looks like a stud.
00:26:34.000 He's kind of like a silvery...
00:26:36.000 Fox.
00:26:37.000 He's getting older.
00:26:37.000 He's like our age.
00:26:38.000 But I thought to myself, the guy looks like a real athlete.
00:26:41.000 He must be a...
00:26:41.000 He's definitely fit.
00:26:43.000 Meanwhile, a fucking... 1.00
00:26:44.000 A big director. 1.00
00:26:45.000 Yeah, and he comes there and shoots all the time.
00:26:47.000 All the time.
00:26:48.000 He said twice a week.
00:26:49.000 Dude, it's such a great thing to have.
00:26:51.000 And it's also really fun.
00:26:53.000 It's like...
00:26:54.000 You're shooting metal targets and everything like that.
00:26:57.000 It's just...
00:26:57.000 But it's fun.
00:26:59.000 It's the same thing with archery.
00:27:02.000 It's the same thing with a lot of stuff that you have to focus on.
00:27:04.000 You focus and then you execute.
00:27:06.000 And if you do it properly, there's sort of the meditative aspect to it, which sounds crazy to say that shooting guns with earplugs on it is very meditative.
00:27:15.000 It's very.
00:27:16.000 Yeah, there is.
00:27:17.000 Because it's like anything else.
00:27:19.000 I like getting comfortable and familiar with things that scare me.
00:27:23.000 I like getting comfortable and familiar with violence.
00:27:25.000 I actually do.
00:27:27.000 What I mean?
00:27:27.000 Yeah, because whether it's hunting, whether it's boxing, whether it's jiu-jitsu, I like working at those things and putting myself in uncomfortable positions.
00:27:36.000 Because when you go to a shooting range, like it's your first time with me with that kind of tactical thing, it's always going to be a little uncomfortable because you're the new guy. 0.99
00:27:44.000 You don't know what the fuck you're doing. 0.99
00:27:45.000 You don't know how to unload a magazine. 1.00
00:27:47.000 It's just going to be mechanical and there's going to be a process. 0.99
00:27:52.000 But there's something about being in this strange location with those loud noise that you can become very familiar with and pretty soon you get good at that shit. 1.00
00:28:00.000 And now you're actually, you don't look like a complete idiot. 0.99
00:28:03.000 At least you can kind of like start to, you know, be familiar with that language. 1.00
00:28:08.000 I think that's, personally for me, I think that shit's important. 0.98
00:28:11.000 Well, it's important to—it'll definitely make you less scared. 0.99
00:28:15.000 One of the weirdest things is watching an altercation break out and then watching men get scared, like men who don't know how to defend themselves or men that are not used to being around violence getting scared.
00:28:28.000 That's right.
00:28:29.000 Yeah.
00:28:29.000 And that's going to happen.
00:28:31.000 It's exactly like getting punched in the face.
00:28:33.000 If you're not boxing and getting hit, I promise you, I don't care who you are, when you get hit, you just get jabbed, what you're going to do is you're going to look down and you're going to bring your hands to your face.
00:28:42.000 That's what you're going to do. 1.00
00:28:43.000 You're going to go, oh shit, boom! 1.00
00:28:44.000 Or you're going to do this. 1.00
00:28:45.000 Or that.
00:28:46.000 And then you're, yeah.
00:28:48.000 And it's not until you really practice whatever it is that you can see and kind of, you know, I'm not saying I'm there, but you're at least less likely to put yourself in a position of danger.
00:28:59.000 It's exactly like with jujitsu, right?
00:29:01.000 When you grab somebody, what do they do?
00:29:03.000 I've grabbed boxers who've never had any wrestling.
00:29:05.000 Great boxers.
00:29:06.000 They turn.
00:29:07.000 They turn their back.
00:29:09.000 I was showing my friend how he's a great boxer, but I was showing him how vulnerable he is. 1.00
00:29:13.000 Even an idiot like me grabs him. 1.00
00:29:15.000 Grabbed him, took him to the ground, and I put a body locker on his body. 1.00
00:29:19.000 And what did he do?
00:29:20.000 He reached down for my ankles.
00:29:22.000 So I went, oh, here you go.
00:29:24.000 And I just went, you see what happens?
00:29:27.000 Anybody would do that.
00:29:29.000 Well, I think it's good just to learn because it's difficult and because it tests you emotionally and physically.
00:29:36.000 And even the shooting stuff does, especially because we're around these guys who are, you know, Taren's a real world-class competitive shooter.
00:29:44.000 And he's showing us his stuff and then we go to do it.
00:29:47.000 It looks so awkward and goofy.
00:29:49.000 Like when you put yourself in a situation where you suck at something, it's really good for you. 0.94
00:29:53.000 It's good to suck at things and try to get better at them. 0.96
00:29:56.000 Anything, whatever it is, whether it's learning how to play chess, whether it's Whatever it is, learning how to do something, learning how to play tennis, whatever the fuck it is, when you learn how to do something and you suck at it at first and you have to concentrate on getting better, that thing of getting better translates to other aspects of your life. 0.98
00:30:13.000 And it's a skill.
00:30:14.000 Getting better at stuff is a skill.
00:30:16.000 It doesn't mean that because you're good at archery, you'll be good at learning how to play the piano.
00:30:23.000 But if you can get good at learning how to play the piano, you can get good at archery.
00:30:28.000 Yes.
00:30:29.000 Because there's a thing in there of learning how to learn.
00:30:32.000 Well, so learning how to learn a lot of times is as simple as once you learn how to do one thing well.
00:30:38.000 That's why one thing informs the other.
00:30:40.000 I think what happens is if you're in a new situation like we were today, you get better.
00:30:44.000 At least I'm better at getting out of my own way.
00:30:47.000 Yeah.
00:30:47.000 You get better at not overthinking.
00:30:49.000 You get better at relaxing.
00:30:50.000 It's the same.
00:30:50.000 A lot of times, it's the same body position.
00:30:53.000 It's the same weight distribution.
00:30:54.000 Sometimes it's very similar.
00:30:56.000 A lot of these things, they're similar language, but mainly they're also a similar mindset.
00:31:01.000 You just put yourself in that softer beginner's mind, that idea of just open up.
00:31:09.000 Open your mind and just let it come to you.
00:31:11.000 Well, it's also accepting that you don't know things.
00:31:14.000 A lot of men, in particular, are really bad at learning stuff because they want to think that they know already.
00:31:22.000 So even when you tell them stuff, they want to think, no, yeah, I got it, I got it.
00:31:27.000 Problem solvers.
00:31:27.000 Well, because men are natural problem solvers.
00:31:29.000 I have a joke about that where I say, I don't know anything about cars.
00:31:33.000 Nothing.
00:31:33.000 But if there's a woman on the side of the road with her hood up looking at her engine, I'll make suggestions.
00:31:39.000 And I've done that.
00:31:41.000 I'll be like, well, check the...
00:31:43.000 Spark plug!
00:31:45.000 Well today, with engines, good luck.
00:31:48.000 No one knows what's going on in there.
00:31:50.000 You ever see what it looks like when they open up a brand new 992 of 2020 Porsche?
00:31:56.000 No.
00:31:57.000 Pull up, opening up the hood on a 2020 Porsche. 0.97
00:32:02.000 It's the most ridiculous thing ever. 0.89
00:32:04.000 Really? 0.99
00:32:05.000 You have no idea what anything is.
00:32:07.000 God.
00:32:07.000 Even someone like you who knows a lot about cars.
00:32:09.000 I have no idea what's in there.
00:32:11.000 I have no idea.
00:32:12.000 Technology.
00:32:12.000 You can't even see anything.
00:32:13.000 You get this much of a view.
00:32:15.000 What?
00:32:15.000 To the end in.
00:32:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:16.000 The view into when you open up the back, because it's a rear-engine car, a Porsche was probably one of the most sophisticated, technologically advanced cars ever built, right?
00:32:26.000 Because they've been refining the design since the 1960s.
00:32:30.000 Pop up the rear trunk and look inside at the engine.
00:32:34.000 Or it's not trunk, it's the hood, whatever.
00:32:35.000 Look inside at the engine. 0.96
00:32:36.000 You don't know what the fuck that is. 0.99
00:32:38.000 It's two fans. 0.99
00:32:39.000 You see two fans.
00:32:40.000 Jesus.
00:32:41.000 That's what you see.
00:32:41.000 You see two fans.
00:32:42.000 Jesus.
00:32:43.000 Yeah, what's going on there?
00:32:44.000 I don't know.
00:32:44.000 I better take it to a place with computers.
00:32:46.000 Well, you need software, right? 0.97
00:32:47.000 You need software to tune it up and all that shit? 0.98
00:32:49.000 Yeah, you have no idea. 0.95
00:32:50.000 Literally, they have to plug a machine into it which analyzes the system. 0.99
00:32:56.000 And then the machine's going, hey, this is fucked, and that's fucked, and this is falling apart. 0.97
00:33:01.000 When are they going to do that with? 0.99
00:33:02.000 People.
00:33:03.000 Yeah.
00:33:03.000 Soon.
00:33:04.000 Really?
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:05.000 You have inside info.
00:33:06.000 Well, here's the problem.
00:33:08.000 Once the first guy gets his legs cut off and gets awesome new legs put on, then we're going to have a real problem. 1.00
00:33:14.000 Fuck, because people are going to take their legs off. 1.00
00:33:16.000 Uh-huh. 1.00
00:33:17.000 Yeah.
00:33:18.000 Better legs.
00:33:19.000 Better legs.
00:33:21.000 I can't wait till I get the call when you're 80. I'm getting new legs, dude.
00:33:24.000 What?
00:33:24.000 Getting them cut off.
00:33:26.000 And you know me.
00:33:27.000 I'll be like, I don't know, Joe. 1.00
00:33:28.000 The science is new and you go, fuck off. 1.00
00:33:30.000 Like a turkey leg. 1.00
00:33:31.000 Pop. 0.99
00:33:31.000 God damn it. 0.99
00:33:32.000 Just pull them off and put some new ones on there. 0.99
00:33:34.000 Well, I mean, we were talking about this guy.
00:33:37.000 Do you see any photos of it?
00:33:41.000 I found a video and nothing was new at all.
00:33:43.000 They were really old.
00:33:44.000 It's a 992 Porsche.
00:33:47.000 992 is the 2020 model.
00:33:50.000 992 Porsche under the hood.
00:33:52.000 I wouldn't mind buying a Porsche.
00:33:55.000 You should.
00:33:55.000 Really?
00:33:56.000 Please.
00:33:57.000 I've been begging you for years.
00:33:58.000 I deserve to buy a real car.
00:34:00.000 Yes.
00:34:01.000 I mean, I have a Tesla.
00:34:02.000 That's a real car.
00:34:03.000 Yeah.
00:34:03.000 That's a great car.
00:34:04.000 That's new for you to say.
00:34:05.000 I love that car.
00:34:06.000 Do you still drive your...
00:34:07.000 Love it.
00:34:07.000 It's right here.
00:34:08.000 I drive it all its own.
00:34:09.000 Great car.
00:34:10.000 It's the fastest thing I've ever driven, by far. 0.86
00:34:12.000 I have a bunch of sports cars that make a lot of noises, but they're like guys who put fucking headbands on and weightlifting belts, and then some girl who's a CrossFitter goes right next to you and deadlifts twice the weight. 0.99
00:34:27.000 That's what the Tesla is. 0.89
00:34:29.000 It's soft and subtle and twice as fast as anything.
00:34:33.000 I love your, whatever that is, Land Cruiser?
00:34:35.000 Oh, yeah.
00:34:36.000 It's the greatest car I've ever seen.
00:34:37.000 Does it drive really well?
00:34:38.000 Oh, yeah.
00:34:39.000 No problems?
00:34:40.000 It's got a supercharged Corvette engine in it.
00:34:42.000 Oh.
00:34:43.000 Okay, that's a side section of the car, though. 0.96
00:34:47.000 I have no idea what the fuck that is. 0.74
00:34:47.000 Yeah, see, that's different because that's actually, they cut the car in half so that you can look into it. 0.74
00:34:52.000 I think that's actually even an artist's rendering.
00:34:54.000 It is.
00:34:54.000 It's okay, Jamie.
00:34:55.000 We're never going to find it.
00:34:56.000 Oh, far left.
00:34:57.000 Right there.
00:34:58.000 Red.
00:34:58.000 Red.
00:34:58.000 The red.
00:34:59.000 Far left.
00:35:00.000 Left.
00:35:00.000 Right there.
00:35:01.000 That's it.
00:35:02.000 That's it.
00:35:03.000 That's it?
00:35:03.000 That's it.
00:35:04.000 That's the view.
00:35:04.000 Go large with that.
00:35:05.000 What?
00:35:06.000 If you open up the trunk, that's what you see.
00:35:08.000 Come on.
00:35:09.000 Yup.
00:35:09.000 That's the whole thing you see.
00:35:12.000 Under the hood, that's what you see.
00:35:15.000 What happened there?
00:35:15.000 So forget it.
00:35:16.000 So forget it.
00:35:17.000 That's it.
00:35:18.000 That's what you say.
00:35:18.000 Your wrenches are no good here.
00:35:20.000 So imagine a girl pulls over.
00:35:21.000 I don't know what to do.
00:35:22.000 And she's wearing cut-off jean shorts and a banging booty. 1.00
00:35:25.000 Big old squat booty.
00:35:26.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:35:27.000 Yeah.
00:35:27.000 And she's looking over and you're like, I've got to help her.
00:35:29.000 Let me help you.
00:35:30.000 And I go like this, I go, what seems to be the trouble?
00:35:33.000 You're a captain, never distracted.
00:35:35.000 Is that what you said?
00:35:35.000 My nickname is Brad Pitt.
00:35:37.000 So if you pull over and look at that, you don't know. 0.99
00:35:40.000 Not a fucking human being has any idea what's going on. 0.99
00:35:42.000 I'd say, nah. 0.99
00:35:44.000 I've got the software back in my place.
00:35:46.000 You should get one of those, though.
00:35:47.000 You should get one of those.
00:35:48.000 Really?
00:35:48.000 Get yourself a nice Carrera S. Oh my God, it's a marvelous car.
00:35:51.000 Really?
00:35:52.000 Oh yeah, super calm and quiet.
00:35:54.000 They go over bumps like nothing, but yet when you hit the accelerator, they have such a supple suspension that the suspension can adjust to matter what you're driving over, especially when you're in comfort mode.
00:36:06.000 Expensive.
00:36:07.000 Yes! 1.00
00:36:07.000 It's a fucking Porsche! 1.00
00:36:09.000 Jesus Christ! 1.00
00:36:10.000 Yes!
00:36:11.000 What kind of question is that?
00:36:12.000 At least a hundred grand?
00:36:14.000 Yes.
00:36:15.000 Yeah, at least a hundred grand.
00:36:16.000 But you need one.
00:36:16.000 I do, right?
00:36:17.000 You do.
00:36:18.000 You're a bad influence on me, man.
00:36:19.000 No, I'm a good influence.
00:36:21.000 We've been doing this forever.
00:36:23.000 We have been doing it forever.
00:36:24.000 Now imagine, if you just listened to me.
00:36:26.000 All those times ago, you'd still be fine, but you would have had this history of having amazing cars. 0.99
00:36:30.000 Instead, you had a fucking red Prius forever. 0.99
00:36:34.000 It's the red Ram. 1.00
00:36:34.000 Call it the red Ram. 1.00
00:36:35.000 One thing you did have though, I remember that Bronco that you had.
00:36:37.000 Not bad.
00:36:38.000 That was pretty dope.
00:36:39.000 Was it a 70 Bronco?
00:36:40.000 Yeah, it gave me nothing.
00:36:41.000 A 71 Bronco with a 350 Windsor or something like that.
00:36:46.000 It caused me nothing but problems.
00:36:47.000 You know why? 1.00
00:36:48.000 Because it's a piece of shit. 1.00
00:36:50.000 If you got a really good one, it would be awesome. 1.00
00:36:53.000 I love the car.
00:36:55.000 It was a cool-looking car.
00:36:56.000 I remember when you came to my house today, I was like, I love you.
00:36:58.000 You're finally getting it.
00:37:00.000 I know.
00:37:00.000 I'm like, finally, you're getting it.
00:37:01.000 Every time I try to be different, though, it just never, you know.
00:37:04.000 You've just never driven a Porsche.
00:37:06.000 If you drove, and see, you don't want one like Schaub's.
00:37:09.000 Schaub's got a GT2 RS. He's such an extremist.
00:37:12.000 It's too loud.
00:37:13.000 It hits bumps too loud.
00:37:15.000 It's like...
00:37:16.000 It's his number one car.
00:37:17.000 Oh yeah.
00:37:18.000 Who drives that car as their number one car? 0.92
00:37:21.000 Psychos. 0.99
00:37:22.000 He's out of his mind. 1.00
00:37:23.000 He's a psycho. 1.00
00:37:23.000 I know. 1.00
00:37:24.000 But it fits him.
00:37:25.000 I know.
00:37:25.000 It's perfect for him.
00:37:26.000 It's flashy.
00:37:27.000 It's blue and black.
00:37:28.000 It's amazing.
00:37:29.000 The best.
00:37:29.000 Like that.
00:37:30.000 You don't want that color.
00:37:31.000 That's a gross color.
00:37:32.000 I like that color. 0.98
00:37:32.000 That color's disgusting. 0.98
00:37:35.000 That's that Doug DeMuro guy. 0.50
00:37:37.000 He's great.
00:37:37.000 It's a nice car, though.
00:37:38.000 That guy's a great analyst of automobiles.
00:37:41.000 Like, look at that.
00:37:42.000 Perfect.
00:37:42.000 Black.
00:37:43.000 Listen, this car is a marvelous car.
00:37:46.000 Yeah.
00:37:46.000 Yeah, but you know, I need something for the next pandemic.
00:37:49.000 I want to get an Airstream.
00:37:52.000 You want a Land Cruiser like mine.
00:37:54.000 Yeah, but I need something I can kind of live in, too.
00:37:57.000 I'm going to get an Airstream.
00:37:59.000 Live in.
00:37:59.000 You want something you can get away from everybody, too.
00:38:02.000 You can't get away in an Airstream.
00:38:03.000 You've got to leave that thing there, and then it becomes a liability.
00:38:05.000 That's true.
00:38:06.000 You want something you can overland in, son.
00:38:08.000 Overland?
00:38:09.000 Overland in.
00:38:09.000 That's a good idea.
00:38:10.000 It's a whole thing they do, just overlanders. 0.98
00:38:12.000 My Land Cruiser that was built by Icon, the rear seat comes out.
00:38:16.000 So the rear seat has these, they made it for me.
00:38:19.000 So you just pull these levers, click, click, pull the rear seat out. 1.00
00:38:22.000 You could sleep in that motherfucker if you had to. 1.00
00:38:24.000 Expensive. 1.00
00:38:25.000 Costs money.
00:38:25.000 Things cost money.
00:38:26.000 You want to hire artisans and craftsmen and geniuses to design things and build things for you?
00:38:32.000 It costs money.
00:38:33.000 You want to get paid too, right?
00:38:35.000 Don't you want to get paid?
00:38:35.000 I do.
00:38:35.000 Yeah, they do as well.
00:38:36.000 You got to pay them.
00:38:37.000 Maybe a regular Land Cruiser.
00:38:39.000 Regular Land Cruisers are great.
00:38:40.000 I'm cheap when it comes to cars.
00:38:41.000 What is that?
00:38:42.000 Oh, look at that.
00:38:44.000 That's a real Overland vehicle. 1.00
00:38:46.000 What the fuck? 0.99
00:38:46.000 That looks like a Dodge Ram or a Ford F-150 or something, but I can't tell. 0.99
00:38:50.000 What's that thing that's dragging behind it? 0.99
00:38:51.000 Well, that's where all your shit is. 1.00
00:38:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:38:53.000 You sleep in that. 1.00
00:38:54.000 And then they have these rooftop tents.
00:38:56.000 That's one Lowe's.
00:38:57.000 Look at that.
00:38:57.000 Yeah, you climb in the rooftop tent.
00:38:59.000 Let me see the one, but I want to see that one.
00:39:01.000 I need protection when I'm sleeping.
00:39:03.000 No, you want the one to the left of your cursor, that gray-looking thing, right to the left.
00:39:07.000 Yeah, right there.
00:39:08.000 You just had it.
00:39:09.000 Yeah.
00:39:09.000 That's what you want.
00:39:11.000 Look at that.
00:39:12.000 It looks so manly. 0.99
00:39:13.000 Oh, that's fucking cool. 0.98
00:39:14.000 It looks like a Ford F-350. 0.98
00:39:17.000 That's what I need.
00:39:17.000 Now, the problem is it's taking up a lot of gas.
00:39:20.000 It's diesel.
00:39:21.000 That thing probably drives pretty...
00:39:23.000 It probably is a huge tank.
00:39:24.000 What are those three things?
00:39:25.000 Is that three gas tanks?
00:39:26.000 It might be.
00:39:28.000 It might have three gas tanks.
00:39:29.000 I'm a fan.
00:39:30.000 Yeah, look at that thing. 0.99
00:39:31.000 I'm a fan.
00:39:32.000 I carry extra gas.
00:39:33.000 Well, we have to think differently now, right?
00:39:36.000 I agree.
00:39:36.000 Press that button.
00:39:37.000 Let's see what this thing... 1.00
00:39:38.000 Look at it driving over fucking mountains and shit. 1.00
00:39:41.000 Look at it, so manly! 1.00
00:39:42.000 Yeah, I got my weaponry.
00:39:43.000 You can keep water in there. 1.00
00:39:45.000 You can fucking cook food in that fucking thing. 1.00
00:39:47.000 I got my weaponry. 1.00
00:39:48.000 I got my hunting rifles.
00:39:49.000 I got everything.
00:39:50.000 He's got...
00:39:51.000 Oh my god, he's bouncing over rocks with that thing. 0.97
00:39:53.000 He's got rock sliders on that pig. 1.00
00:39:55.000 That's a pig of a truck. 1.00
00:39:56.000 Just be in the back while you're doing that. 0.98
00:39:57.000 I know.
00:39:57.000 Imagine trying to sleep.
00:39:59.000 That's good though.
00:39:59.000 Why are you driving over the mountain?
00:40:01.000 I like that a lot.
00:40:02.000 Yeah.
00:40:03.000 Those are great.
00:40:04.000 But you could, like a van.
00:40:06.000 There's a company called, look up this company, Ujoint Off-Road.
00:40:11.000 Yeah, I think that's what it's called.
00:40:12.000 Ujoint Off-Road.
00:40:13.000 And what they do is they take a van, like a regular van, and they turn it, he has an Instagram page, it's pretty cool.
00:40:19.000 They take a regular van, like a cargo van.
00:40:22.000 Yeah.
00:40:22.000 And turn it into, like, the ultimate 4x4 vehicle.
00:40:25.000 They take out all the bullshit, take out all the axles and the engines, redo everything, and put, like, super beefy off-road suspension, off-road, like, live rear and front axles. 1.00
00:40:36.000 I love that shit. 1.00
00:40:36.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:40:37.000 Bam, motherfucker! 1.00
00:40:38.000 Drive to the moon in that bitch. 1.00
00:40:40.000 Yep. 0.99
00:40:40.000 So that's something that normally would be, like, something that Amazon delivers your toothpaste in. 0.99
00:40:46.000 Uh-huh, uh-huh.
00:40:46.000 It's big enough to sleep in.
00:40:48.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00
00:40:48.000 For sure. 1.00
00:40:49.000 Look at that.
00:40:49.000 They did one with a school bus.
00:40:51.000 They redid a school bus.
00:40:53.000 You gotta have water. 1.00
00:40:55.000 There's a lot of shit. 0.99
00:40:56.000 I've been obsessing now. 0.99
00:40:57.000 My friend Sam Soholt, he's a photographer and he does a lot of outdoor filming and stuff.
00:41:04.000 I've known him for years.
00:41:06.000 He did a school bus.
00:41:08.000 He purchased a school bus.
00:41:09.000 Go to Sam Sohalt's Instagram page.
00:41:12.000 He probably has a blog about the school bus because, I mean, it's an extensive build.
00:41:18.000 He did it for years.
00:41:19.000 And he took this school bus, a regular school bus, turned it into this ultimate outdoor travel vehicle that can sleep like 10 people.
00:41:27.000 So he has cots in it.
00:41:29.000 Oh, it's amazing!
00:41:30.000 It's a labor of love.
00:41:33.000 You and I spoke about getting some land.
00:41:36.000 We've done this a while back.
00:41:37.000 We were talking about this.
00:41:38.000 Here's the thing I didn't think of that you thought of.
00:41:40.000 It was very smart.
00:41:41.000 You get land with a large pond slash lake on it.
00:41:45.000 Yes.
00:41:46.000 So you can fish.
00:41:47.000 So you've got access to protein no matter what.
00:41:49.000 Right.
00:41:50.000 Then you have a garden.
00:41:51.000 You've got to be able to grow.
00:41:53.000 You need a well.
00:41:54.000 I've got to irrigate.
00:41:55.000 I need a well.
00:41:57.000 I've got to have my own source of water.
00:41:58.000 There's Sam's thing.
00:41:59.000 So look how the side pulls out. 0.98
00:42:00.000 Oh, that's fucking great. 0.97
00:42:01.000 Turns into a wall tent. 1.00
00:42:02.000 That's crazy. 1.00
00:42:03.000 The side turns into a fucking wall tent. 1.00
00:42:06.000 Look at that shit. 1.00
00:42:07.000 That's amazing. 1.00
00:42:07.000 Dude, it's so dope. 1.00
00:42:09.000 And he brings that thing up into the backcountry.
00:42:11.000 That's great.
00:42:12.000 Yeah.
00:42:13.000 Dude, it's amazing.
00:42:14.000 Problem is, it's a giant bus.
00:42:15.000 I need something a little bit more maneuverable.
00:42:17.000 Yeah, you don't want that.
00:42:18.000 Sam's crazy.
00:42:19.000 But I mean, it's awesome.
00:42:20.000 What about the Fisker?
00:42:21.000 What is it called?
00:42:22.000 Fisker?
00:42:23.000 That's an electric car.
00:42:24.000 What are you talking about?
00:42:25.000 Now I'm losing you.
00:42:26.000 You're sliding back to the old way.
00:42:28.000 Hold on. 1.00
00:42:28.000 Oh, now you're back in Venice drinking cappuccinos off a fucking expensive machine. 1.00
00:42:32.000 No. 1.00
00:42:33.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00
00:42:34.000 Hold on. 1.00
00:42:36.000 We have to go look at land, dude.
00:42:38.000 Where do we do it though?
00:42:40.000 Colorado or Utah?
00:42:42.000 Not California anywhere?
00:42:43.000 No.
00:42:43.000 You want to get out of here before this place slides?
00:42:45.000 Too many fucking fires. 1.00
00:42:46.000 Not just fires. 1.00
00:42:48.000 Anything can happen here.
00:42:49.000 Look, we're dealing right now with this pandemic.
00:42:51.000 The entire country's dealing with it. 1.00
00:42:53.000 Tack on a natural disaster and then you're really fucked. 1.00
00:42:56.000 You're really fucked. 1.00
00:42:57.000 For real. 1.00
00:42:58.000 For real.
00:42:59.000 I know.
00:42:59.000 Yeah, this is a tricky place.
00:43:01.000 California is tricky because it works.
00:43:03.000 When it works, it's great, but it's kind of like playing musical chairs. 0.98
00:43:06.000 Like you know that fucking music is gonna stop and everyone's gonna have to sit down. 0.99
00:43:10.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:43:10.000 Like, is there a chair for me? 0.99
00:43:12.000 Yeah.
00:43:12.000 Like, am I stuck here?
00:43:13.000 Right.
00:43:14.000 Musical chairs might be a bad analogy, but the reality is this is unsustainable and we're basing all of this on a model that Really, throughout human history, has only been temporary, and that means a model of peace and prosperity and- And interdependence on a level,
00:43:33.000 technological independence.
00:43:34.000 I mean, Jesus Christ.
00:43:35.000 And we're counting on the grid, we're counting on so many factors that have never been permanent throughout human history.
00:43:41.000 They haven't existed, right?
00:43:42.000 The grid didn't even exist until the 20th century, right?
00:43:45.000 So in the 20th century, in the time that people who are alive today, almost, We're alive.
00:43:53.000 The whole world has shifted and now everybody lives in these electrified cities and sewage all goes through this thing and everything goes into the ocean.
00:44:02.000 You're counting on so many people.
00:44:04.000 So many, dude.
00:44:04.000 But, on the other hand, there's so many pros to that.
00:44:07.000 There are, but I would just like, please, a place I can get the fuck out of and just have, like, I just want to be, I don't want to be a sitting duck. 0.62
00:44:16.000 My biggest fear is being vulnerable.
00:44:18.000 Right.
00:44:18.000 Well, you remember when I moved?
00:44:20.000 Yes.
00:44:21.000 I moved to Boulder in 2008 for a little bit.
00:44:24.000 And the reason why I moved is like, I don't like this.
00:44:27.000 I don't like this.
00:44:28.000 Traffic.
00:44:28.000 And when my daughter was born, too, I was thinking, you know what?
00:44:32.000 This is a good time to start fresh.
00:44:34.000 Let's just go somewhere where it's quieter.
00:44:37.000 But ultimately, that didn't work out because of altitude. 0.99
00:44:41.000 When my wife was pregnant with the second baby, it's like, goddamn, altitude wrecks women when they're pregnant. 1.00
00:44:48.000 And we were really high. 0.98
00:44:49.000 We were at 8,500 feet above sea level.
00:44:51.000 But now I have other friends that are saying, hey, we need to get the fuck out of here. 0.96
00:44:55.000 Tom Segura was saying, we need to get the fuck out of here. 0.97
00:44:57.000 Joey Diaz was saying, where are we going? 0.98
00:44:59.000 I was like, you tell me where we're going.
00:45:01.000 I'm going.
00:45:02.000 I'll go.
00:45:03.000 He was like, let's go to Montana. 0.99
00:45:04.000 Let's go to fucking Billings, Montana. 0.99
00:45:06.000 We'll open up a comic club. 0.99
00:45:07.000 I like Billings.
00:45:07.000 I like Billings, too.
00:45:09.000 We were in Billings.
00:45:10.000 Yeah.
00:45:11.000 We hunted the Missouri Breaks.
00:45:12.000 We could literally start a comedy club somewhere great.
00:45:16.000 Oh, yeah, we could.
00:45:17.000 Like, Boise doesn't have a comedy club, from what I understand.
00:45:20.000 Maybe they have a small one.
00:45:21.000 Yeah, it does.
00:45:21.000 No, Boise has a club.
00:45:22.000 Alright, so, Coeur d'Alene.
00:45:24.000 I don't know, somewhere really nice. 0.92
00:45:25.000 We could, for sure, do a comedy club somewhere, or move to a place like Salt Lake that has comedy clubs and 100,000 fucking people or whatever they have out there. 0.97
00:45:36.000 But the idea of staying here just seems so silly. 0.99
00:45:40.000 It seems so silly. 0.87
00:45:41.000 Yeah. 0.89
00:45:41.000 Especially, well, you're still in show business. 0.89
00:45:44.000 You're still sucking on the tit of the devil. 1.00
00:45:46.000 Yes, I am. 1.00
00:45:47.000 You've got the devil's nipple in your mouth. 1.00
00:45:49.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:45:51.000 You're still going to red carpets.
00:45:53.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:45:53.000 I've also got the fighter indicated we're not getting Shob to move anywhere because Shob would be like, you pussies. 1.00
00:45:58.000 Oh, he says that. 0.99
00:45:59.000 Yeah.
00:46:00.000 All it would take is one more of these things.
00:46:02.000 Yeah, you might be right.
00:46:02.000 And Shob would be like, yeah, Denver's not bad.
00:46:05.000 Yeah, you could live in Evergreen, you're 30 minutes from Denver.
00:46:07.000 Yeah, how about that?
00:46:09.000 I'll do that.
00:46:09.000 Evergreen?
00:46:10.000 Would you?
00:46:10.000 Is that nice?
00:46:10.000 Fuck yeah, I'll do that.
00:46:11.000 Oh my god, Evergreen's gorgeous. 1.00
00:46:12.000 Pull up Evergreen.
00:46:13.000 I got my kids.
00:46:14.000 People in Evergreen right now are angry at me. 0.99
00:46:16.000 Shut up! 1.00
00:46:18.000 You're gonna fucking wreck Evergreen! 1.00
00:46:21.000 Evergreen's beautiful. 1.00
00:46:22.000 Damn it. 0.99
00:46:22.000 It's 30 minutes from Denver and it's a beautiful mountain town. 0.99
00:46:24.000 Here I come.
00:46:26.000 9,000 people.
00:46:27.000 9,500.
00:46:28.000 All our friends.
00:46:30.000 Yeah.
00:46:30.000 Imagine we start a comedy club in Evergreen.
00:46:33.000 Great idea.
00:46:33.000 Just get Wendy involved.
00:46:35.000 Wendy from the Comedy Works.
00:46:36.000 That's what it looks like up there.
00:46:37.000 I love Wendy.
00:46:37.000 Bro, it's gorgeous.
00:46:39.000 It's got a beautiful historic...
00:46:40.000 Look at that!
00:46:41.000 Wow!
00:46:41.000 That's what I'm talking about, Brian Callen.
00:46:43.000 Dude.
00:46:43.000 Woods.
00:46:45.000 Elk herds wander through town.
00:46:47.000 You whack one of them, you eat it for six months.
00:46:49.000 And I want two German Shepherds working line dogs. 0.51
00:46:52.000 Look at that. 0.99
00:46:53.000 Pull that fucking historic downtown Evergreen. 0.99
00:46:56.000 That's the lake. 0.99
00:46:57.000 I've been to that before.
00:46:59.000 There's a lake and people go ice skating on the lake. 0.92
00:47:01.000 It's fucking beautiful up there. 0.95
00:47:02.000 Dude, that's what I want to do! 0.98
00:47:03.000 My kids will ice skate.
00:47:04.000 You know the South Park guys?
00:47:06.000 Matt Stone and Trey Parker, they're from Evergreen.
00:47:09.000 That's what South Park is based on.
00:47:11.000 That's why there's always snow in South Park.
00:47:14.000 It's based on Evergreen, Colorado.
00:47:16.000 Those guys are from there.
00:47:17.000 It's gorgeous up there.
00:47:18.000 They're going to get mad at you if you keep talking about it.
00:47:20.000 Sorry.
00:47:20.000 There's other places in Colorado, but there's other places in Utah.
00:47:24.000 Park City's amazing.
00:47:25.000 I love Park City.
00:47:26.000 Park City's great.
00:47:26.000 My parents retired there.
00:47:28.000 Good move.
00:47:29.000 Great restaurants, beautiful scenery.
00:47:32.000 You're still dependent on the grid and there's not enough water.
00:47:34.000 I don't trust it.
00:47:36.000 Well, there is actually.
00:47:37.000 Get some water.
00:47:38.000 Doesn't trust it.
00:47:38.000 We'd be fine.
00:47:39.000 We'd kill some elk. 0.98
00:47:40.000 Yes. 0.87
00:47:41.000 There's lakes up there. 0.99
00:47:42.000 But I need fucking rice and oatmeal. 0.99
00:47:44.000 I need some starch. 1.00
00:47:45.000 You need rice and oatmeal?
00:47:45.000 I need some yams.
00:47:47.000 Why do you need rice and oatmeal?
00:47:48.000 Because I need...
00:47:49.000 You know, you can grow yams.
00:47:50.000 Huh?
00:47:50.000 You can grow those things.
00:47:51.000 Yeah, you need a lot of water though.
00:47:52.000 They grow.
00:47:53.000 You grow them in the ground.
00:47:54.000 Yeah, but there's not a drought in Utah. 0.99
00:47:57.000 It's not like it's a fucking... 0.97
00:47:58.000 I mean, there's a reason why there's so much snow, Brian. 0.98
00:48:00.000 That's precipitation.
00:48:01.000 Wait, you can melt snow, can't you?
00:48:03.000 Yes.
00:48:04.000 But I mean, it's coming down, right?
00:48:06.000 It snows.
00:48:06.000 Well, guess what?
00:48:07.000 It also rains.
00:48:08.000 That's true.
00:48:09.000 Yeah.
00:48:09.000 You can grow things there.
00:48:10.000 That's true, my man.
00:48:10.000 You see all those trees?
00:48:11.000 Yeah, they use water.
00:48:13.000 Yeah.
00:48:13.000 Whenever you see a lot of woods, assume there's water.
00:48:16.000 Yeah.
00:48:16.000 Probably, right?
00:48:17.000 Yeah.
00:48:17.000 I would imagine.
00:48:18.000 Crazy.
00:48:19.000 Maybe I should do some thinking.
00:48:19.000 Look at that.
00:48:20.000 Look how pretty is that. 0.99
00:48:21.000 Where is that, Jamie?
00:48:23.000 A giant lake.
00:48:24.000 God, it's so beautiful.
00:48:25.000 I need a lake.
00:48:25.000 I need a lake for water.
00:48:26.000 Is that Colorado?
00:48:27.000 It's an evergreen photo, so it's probably somewhere else.
00:48:29.000 God, it's an evergreen?
00:48:30.000 Dude, I want to be able to live off the land.
00:48:33.000 Livability.
00:48:34.000 Click on that.
00:48:34.000 What does it say about livability?
00:48:36.000 Don't come here, ass fucks. 1.00
00:48:39.000 Evergreen Colorado, what you need to know. 1.00
00:48:41.000 Here it goes.
00:48:42.000 Looking to move to Evergreen Colorado?
00:48:43.000 We've got everything you want to know about the key factors that can make it the best place for you, including Evergreen Colorado real estate.
00:48:50.000 Let's start with the basics.
00:48:51.000 Evergreen Colorado is located in Jefferson County, has a population of 8,688 people.
00:48:57.000 That's a show.
00:49:02.000 That's one show at a good-sized theater.
00:49:05.000 So true.
00:49:05.000 Yeah.
00:49:06.000 That's one show.
00:49:07.000 That's not even a sold-out arena.
00:49:08.000 Oh my god.
00:49:09.000 We have a cool graph below that shows the city's ethnic diversity.
00:49:13.000 None.
00:49:13.000 I'll check that graph right now.
00:49:15.000 Zero. 0.71
00:49:16.000 It's all white people. 0.97
00:49:17.000 There's one black guy and they watch him closely.
00:49:21.000 What kind of ethnic diversity?
00:49:23.000 Let me see the graph.
00:49:24.000 Evergreen?
00:49:24.000 Let me see their graph.
00:49:26.000 Let me see the graph about the diversity.
00:49:28.000 This is a graph.
00:49:29.000 They hide the graph.
00:49:30.000 Salt Lake has a lot of Tongan and Samoan.
00:49:34.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:49:35.000 Salt Lake, the city, surprisingly diverse.
00:49:39.000 I have a friend who moved there.
00:49:40.000 Medium household income, 79 grand.
00:49:42.000 Nice.
00:49:44.000 389 grand for a house.
00:49:45.000 Nice.
00:49:46.000 Population 8,600.
00:49:47.000 So it doesn't have a diversity graph.
00:49:50.000 They probably ditched that.
00:49:51.000 One thing is like, hey, delete that.
00:49:53.000 Oh, what does it say?
00:49:54.000 Okay, it says ages.
00:49:56.000 Does it say ethnicity?
00:49:57.000 White. 0.81
00:49:58.000 97.5%.
00:50:00.000 1.4% Asian.
00:50:04.000 Literally no black people. 0.63
00:50:05.000 There's one black person.
00:50:07.000 Dude, 0.1% ethnicity other. 0.91
00:50:10.000 Other.
00:50:11.000 It doesn't even say black.
00:50:12.000 Interesting.
00:50:13.000 It says other.
00:50:14.000 African Americans, one of the most prominent races in this country.
00:50:17.000 Yeah.
00:50:18.000 And there, it's other.
00:50:19.000 Sounds like my application.
00:50:20.000 Look at that.
00:50:20.000 Go back to that.
00:50:21.000 Stop scrolling.
00:50:22.000 Look at that.
00:50:22.000 That is crazy.
00:50:24.000 Yeah.
00:50:24.000 97.5% white.
00:50:26.000 Dude, 30 minutes to Denver, huh?
00:50:29.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:50:29.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:50:29.000 30 minutes to Denver. 1.00
00:50:30.000 I want to go to Evergreen.
00:50:32.000 But you will get snowed in, bro.
00:50:34.000 You will.
00:50:34.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:35.000 Is it high elevation?
00:50:36.000 What's the elevation?
00:50:37.000 8,000 feet.
00:50:38.000 That's a little high. 0.99
00:50:39.000 It's high as fuck. 0.99
00:50:40.000 And you're going to get snowed in. 0.99
00:50:41.000 Not just snowed in, but like several feet of snow.
00:50:44.000 It's a little problem for me. 1.00
00:50:44.000 Like you ain't going nowhere, bitch. 1.00
00:50:46.000 It's a little problem. 1.00
00:50:47.000 Is it really?
00:50:48.000 Don't you just get a snowblower? 1.00
00:50:49.000 Like a goddamn man? 1.00
00:50:50.000 You put on a, like, get a, like a... 1.00
00:50:52.000 Beaver hat.
00:50:53.000 Get Rinella to make you a beaver hat.
00:50:55.000 Yes, yes.
00:50:55.000 Like one of them real hats.
00:50:56.000 Yes.
00:50:57.000 Like the mountain man type hats.
00:50:58.000 I want a coyote, full-length coyote.
00:51:00.000 No.
00:51:01.000 I know it's mean.
00:51:02.000 I'm nervous.
00:51:02.000 They're too much like dogs.
00:51:04.000 You mean you want a coyote jacket or something?
00:51:06.000 Yes.
00:51:07.000 I mean, I know it's cruel and I don't want to kill coyotes, but they are very plentiful. 1.00
00:51:11.000 These idiots are thinking about moving wolves into Colorado. 1.00
00:51:14.000 That's not a bad idea, right? 1.00
00:51:16.000 Didn't moving wolves into Yellowstone increase the population of everything?
00:51:21.000 No.
00:51:21.000 No, it did not.
00:51:22.000 Is that a lie?
00:51:22.000 No.
00:51:23.000 Yes, it is.
00:51:23.000 It is.
00:51:23.000 I watched that video.
00:51:24.000 Oh, yeah.
00:51:25.000 How wolves changed rivers?
00:51:27.000 Yes.
00:51:27.000 Yeah.
00:51:28.000 A lot of other factors that that guy didn't take into consideration in terms of moving rivers.
00:51:33.000 One of the things was beavers. 0.98
00:51:34.000 They imported beavers into Yellowstone.
00:51:37.000 There's many, many factors.
00:51:38.000 Okay.
00:51:39.000 But they did reduce the undulate population, which you could say was out of proportion.
00:51:43.000 What's an undulate?
00:51:44.000 Undulate is cows, elk.
00:51:46.000 The undulate.
00:51:47.000 Cows.
00:51:48.000 Yeah.
00:51:49.000 Ruminants.
00:51:49.000 Ruminants.
00:51:50.000 Ruminants.
00:51:50.000 Ruminants.
00:51:51.000 Ruminants.
00:51:52.000 Ruminants.
00:51:53.000 Whatever it is.
00:51:53.000 I like saying ruminant.
00:51:54.000 Yeah.
00:51:55.000 The animals that you hunt.
00:51:57.000 Yeah.
00:51:58.000 And guess who else hunts them? 1.00
00:51:59.000 Wolves, bitch! 1.00
00:52:00.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:52:00.000 So it changed the way the elk behave. 1.00
00:52:03.000 It reduced the population pretty substantially, but there's still a healthy population of elk in Montana, and there's a healthy population of wolves, and they actually hunt wolves now.
00:52:12.000 They hunt wolves in Idaho.
00:52:14.000 They hunt a lot of wolves.
00:52:16.000 In some places, they're trying to resist the hunting of wolves.
00:52:19.000 You got to kind of keep a balance.
00:52:21.000 And if you're going to bring predators, you got to realize why they killed them all in the first place.
00:52:25.000 They killed them all in the first place because ranchers were losing all of their crops or all their cattle, rather.
00:52:30.000 Look, I love wolves.
00:52:31.000 Look, you can see I have pictures of wolves all over my wall out there.
00:52:35.000 I'm a huge fan of wolves.
00:52:36.000 But you can't raise lots.
00:52:37.000 It's tough to...
00:52:38.000 I also am a big fan of wildlife biologists and the wildlife biologists that understand balance.
00:52:44.000 The real ones.
00:52:45.000 Not the ones that are animal activists that only want animals to live and they only want everybody to eat tofu.
00:52:49.000 The ones that understand that this is There's a balance from predators and prey, and we miss that balance.
00:52:57.000 You know, that's why there's no mountain lion hunting in California.
00:53:00.000 And people say, well, that's a good thing.
00:53:02.000 Sort of, but mountain lions are still getting killed in California.
00:53:05.000 This is what we don't understand.
00:53:07.000 Mountain lions get killed by state and federal agents who have to kill mountain lions because mountain lions are killing Either people's dogs or cats or livestock.
00:53:16.000 I didn't know that.
00:53:17.000 All the time.
00:53:18.000 They kill the same amount of mountain lions they would if they had tags.
00:53:22.000 Really?
00:53:22.000 Yes.
00:53:23.000 But the difference is the money doesn't go to the state, but everybody feels good and the government feels warm and cuddly.
00:53:29.000 Because somebody with a uniform is doing it.
00:53:31.000 They're doing it on the sneak tip instead of like some guy posing on Instagram, like hugging.
00:53:36.000 You ever see the way they pose with mountain lions? 0.99
00:53:37.000 It's kind of fucked up. 0.99
00:53:38.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:53:38.000 They hold them up in the air to hug them. 0.99
00:53:40.000 It's weird.
00:53:40.000 They do that with wolves, too.
00:53:41.000 Yeah, and let you know how big they are. 0.99
00:53:43.000 It's fucking huge. 0.99
00:53:43.000 Let you know what a man they are. 0.99
00:53:44.000 Yeah.
00:53:44.000 They shot this...
00:53:45.000 Mountain Lion's delicious, by the way.
00:53:47.000 It is?
00:53:48.000 According to everybody I know that's eating it.
00:53:50.000 Well, Rinald told me it's pretty tough.
00:53:51.000 No, no, no.
00:53:52.000 No?
00:53:52.000 No, that's not what he said.
00:53:53.000 He said it's superb.
00:53:55.000 Really?
00:53:55.000 That's his words.
00:53:55.000 He said superb.
00:53:56.000 He goes, it's like a superior pork.
00:53:58.000 No.
00:53:59.000 Yes.
00:53:59.000 But they eat, they're 100% carnivores.
00:54:04.000 Yeah.
00:54:04.000 And supposedly delicious.
00:54:05.000 I can't think of any other animal we eat.
00:54:08.000 Do we eat any animals that are total carnivores?
00:54:10.000 Alligator.
00:54:11.000 Alligator.
00:54:11.000 Yes.
00:54:12.000 Alligators are delicious.
00:54:13.000 Fish.
00:54:14.000 Yeah, fish are 100% carnivores, but they're not really, you know, it's a thing.
00:54:17.000 But what else animal-wise?
00:54:19.000 You don't eat any birds that are carnivores, but birds will eat.
00:54:22.000 That is interesting, right?
00:54:23.000 Yeah.
00:54:24.000 Like, we don't eat eagles. 1.00
00:54:25.000 You hate an eagle, you'd be a real piece of shit. 0.99
00:54:27.000 In the Old Testament, if you're a kosher Jew or if you're Islamic, if you're a Muslim, you're not to eat things like eagles, osprey, but there was a very good scientific reason for that. 1.00
00:54:37.000 Because you would get different pathogens.
00:54:39.000 Parasites.
00:54:40.000 Yeah.
00:54:41.000 Oh, for sure.
00:54:42.000 Anything that eats live animals. 1.00
00:54:44.000 But chickens, they live on mealworm and they'll eat all kinds of shit. 1.00
00:54:47.000 That's true. 0.99
00:54:48.000 But you're also supposed to cook chicken past 145 degrees.
00:54:51.000 Yeah. 0.93
00:54:51.000 Because you're killing off parasites. 0.93
00:54:52.000 Yes. 1.00
00:54:53.000 And salmonella and all kinds of other shit. 0.99
00:54:54.000 Right. 0.99
00:54:55.000 You know, people eat raw chicken. 1.00
00:54:56.000 You've got to be out of your fucking mind to eat raw chicken. 1.00
00:54:59.000 Ducks. 1.00
00:54:59.000 You know what a horse will eat a chicken sometimes? 1.00
00:55:02.000 Really?
00:55:03.000 Uh-huh.
00:55:03.000 There's a video of it.
00:55:04.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:55:05.000 I know cows eat birds. 1.00
00:55:06.000 Bring up that video of a horse eating a fucking chicken. 1.00
00:55:08.000 Thank you. 1.00
00:55:09.000 Thank you for doing this.
00:55:10.000 And deer will eat...
00:55:12.000 Oh, I've seen a lot of deer eating birds.
00:55:14.000 They'll eat birds. 1.00
00:55:15.000 I need that protein.
00:55:16.000 Yeah, there was a net that they used to catch birds.
00:55:19.000 Yeah.
00:55:20.000 They set up this net.
00:55:21.000 I think they were studying birds, and it's a humane way to catch them.
00:55:24.000 They get captured in this net, and then they can release them from the net gently, and then they can set them free.
00:55:29.000 Uh-uh.
00:55:30.000 Deer would just find them in the net and eat them. 1.00
00:55:32.000 Goddamn. 0.99
00:55:32.000 Yeah, they'd just pluck them right out of the net. 0.99
00:55:33.000 So interesting.
00:55:34.000 Cattle, too.
00:55:35.000 They'd know where the net was.
00:55:36.000 Like, oh, wonderful.
00:55:37.000 Really?
00:55:38.000 Chase these birds.
00:55:39.000 Choo, choo, choo. 0.99
00:55:39.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:55:43.000 Here's a cow eating one, too.
00:55:45.000 We've played the horse before, too.
00:55:46.000 Oh, a cow eating a chicken?
00:55:48.000 Play that.
00:55:48.000 It's a horse eating one.
00:55:50.000 Okay, here we go.
00:55:50.000 There's a chicken running around.
00:55:51.000 Oh, here's a chicken?
00:55:53.000 Oh, he's feeding?
00:55:55.000 I'm just saying it almost looks like it.
00:55:57.000 Really?
00:55:58.000 Well, yeah, he's filming it. 1.00
00:55:59.000 Horses don't fuck around. 1.00
00:56:01.000 Oh, it's a little baby chick. 1.00
00:56:02.000 Yeah, look, he's chasing that chick down. 0.99
00:56:04.000 Oh, I'm looking out for you.
00:56:06.000 That's so interesting. 1.00
00:56:06.000 That's a wrap, bitch. 1.00
00:56:08.000 Chompa, chompa, chompa. 1.00
00:56:09.000 No.
00:56:09.000 Yeah, they just recognize its protein.
00:56:12.000 Wow, he ate that quick.
00:56:14.000 I used to have a pit bull.
00:56:16.000 Patty's Pit Bull. 1.00
00:56:17.000 Chauncey, badass dog.
00:56:18.000 I remember Chauncey.
00:56:19.000 Love that dog.
00:56:20.000 A great dog.
00:56:21.000 Like an alligator. 1.00
00:56:22.000 Like jaws on fucking, just with feet. 1.00
00:56:24.000 There's a cow eating a chicken. 1.00
00:56:25.000 Jesus Christ.
00:56:26.000 Chewing it apart.
00:56:27.000 Oh my goodness.
00:56:28.000 She got near a big horse, a Clydesdale. 1.00
00:56:30.000 That horse put its head down and ran straight at that fucking dog. 1.00
00:56:34.000 And Chauncey was like, oh fuck, yeah. 1.00
00:56:36.000 The size of a Clydesdale. 1.00
00:56:38.000 He was like, get the fuck out of my corral. 0.99
00:56:40.000 What are you doing? 0.99
00:56:41.000 He literally stopped and he went, really?
00:56:42.000 Put his head down and went, and came, I thought she was going to die. 0.99
00:56:45.000 She just dodged out of the way. 1.00
00:56:46.000 She could have.
00:56:47.000 There's a horrible video of this guy is, what is it called when you've got a bunch of dogs pulling you?
00:56:54.000 Is it called mushing?
00:56:55.000 Yeah, mushing.
00:56:56.000 I did, Rod.
00:56:57.000 Mushing?
00:56:57.000 Mushing.
00:56:57.000 Mushing or mushing?
00:56:58.000 I mush.
00:56:59.000 Do you mush or do you mush?
00:57:00.000 I mush, personally.
00:57:02.000 Okay.
00:57:02.000 So this guy, it's really sad.
00:57:04.000 This guy is getting pulled by these dogs and this moose runs in front of him and just starts stomping his dogs.
00:57:13.000 What?
00:57:14.000 Yeah, it's terrible.
00:57:15.000 It's terrible.
00:57:16.000 There's nothing he can do about it.
00:57:17.000 No.
00:57:18.000 So this is not it.
00:57:19.000 This is not it, but I'm sure this is probably a similar result.
00:57:21.000 The other one was a cow moose.
00:57:25.000 It was either a cow moose or it was...
00:57:26.000 Let me see that one.
00:57:28.000 I think it was just clearing the path for him, it said. 1.00
00:57:30.000 Well, they will fuck up dogs. 1.00
00:57:35.000 Moose Attack Sled Dog Team. 0.99
00:57:37.000 Yeah, that's not it.
00:57:38.000 It's a recent one, but it's real.
00:57:40.000 Anyway, it was real sad.
00:57:42.000 I saw it on Instagram.
00:57:43.000 It killed a bunch of dogs?
00:57:43.000 It killed a couple of them.
00:57:44.000 One of them they had to put down after the fact because it broke its back. 1.00
00:57:47.000 Damn! 0.99
00:57:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:57:48.000 I mean, a Milton Moose is an 1,800-pound animal. 1.00
00:57:51.000 Not hearing a peep out of a pack of dogs.
00:57:53.000 Pack it, dog.
00:57:54.000 That's like you getting in a fight with a hamster.
00:57:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:57:56.000 Just get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:57:58.000 Get out of here. 1.00
00:57:58.000 Bink! 1.00
00:57:59.000 Yep.
00:57:59.000 Moose are so big, man.
00:58:01.000 Couple cheetah pull them down, though. 1.00
00:58:02.000 Cheetah will grab your balls, eat your balls first. 1.00
00:58:05.000 Whoa. 1.00
00:58:05.000 Then hamstring you. 1.00
00:58:06.000 You know what they do that?
00:58:07.000 Wolves do that, too.
00:58:08.000 Lions will do that. 0.99
00:58:09.000 Lions will do that with a water buffalo. 0.98
00:58:11.000 They'll attack the legs. 1.00
00:58:11.000 Oh, they'll eat your balls. 1.00
00:58:14.000 They'll take your balls and start to bleed out. 1.00
00:58:16.000 Ow! 1.00
00:58:16.000 Ow! 1.00
00:58:17.000 I'll take your balls, please. 1.00
00:58:19.000 Can't protect your balls, Bob. 1.00
00:58:21.000 Yeah, it's a stupid design, right? 1.00
00:58:23.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:58:24.000 Just pull it up inside like a turtle.
00:58:25.000 Tanks.
00:58:26.000 They're just tanks, but sometimes they get tired.
00:58:29.000 Yeah, if you go hunting, you should have a steel cup, like a tie cup.
00:58:32.000 Yes. 0.99
00:58:33.000 One that goes through the butt like a G-string. 0.99
00:58:35.000 I do anyway. 0.99
00:58:35.000 You should. 0.99
00:58:36.000 I call that discipline. 1.00
00:58:38.000 Just in case some wolf wants to try to bite your balls, he gets a mouth full of metal. 1.00
00:58:41.000 I tie my dick down on my leg with a hemp rope, just to keep me honest. 1.00
00:58:44.000 A hemp rope? 1.00
00:58:45.000 Yeah, keep me honest.
00:58:46.000 And also organic.
00:58:47.000 Yeah, Brian, what are you doing? 1.00
00:58:48.000 Tying my dick down with a coarse hemp rope. 1.00
00:58:50.000 Why? 1.00
00:58:51.000 In case me honest.
00:58:52.000 Yeah, like, you know those side holsters that people have sometimes where they have a strap on their thigh?
00:58:57.000 Yep.
00:58:57.000 Because they have a long gun and they want to keep it from flopping up against their thigh?
00:59:00.000 Sure do.
00:59:01.000 That's what you do with the hog. 1.00
00:59:02.000 That's right.
00:59:02.000 Sometimes I sprint with a hard-on.
00:59:04.000 You ever try that?
00:59:05.000 Naked?
00:59:05.000 I've never run with a hard-on.
00:59:07.000 Me neither.
00:59:07.000 It's amazing.
00:59:08.000 I've lived all these years.
00:59:10.000 Never ran with a hard heart. 1.00
00:59:12.000 I wonder how long your dick would stay hard if you were in a full gallop. 1.00
00:59:14.000 It's a good question. 1.00
00:59:15.000 It's a very good question.
00:59:17.000 That'd be a great contest.
00:59:18.000 Right.
00:59:19.000 If someone broke into your house and you were in the middle of sex and you were angry, but you kept your wood because you weren't scared. 1.00
00:59:24.000 Just get your dick super hard and just go running. 1.00
00:59:26.000 Just take a hair tie and just rubber band it to the bottom. 1.00
00:59:31.000 Got to do that.
00:59:31.000 Just keep the blood flow.
00:59:33.000 Got to tie your piece down.
00:59:34.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:35.000 You tie off at the end.
00:59:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:59:36.000 Like a cock ring. 0.99
00:59:37.000 That's right. 1.00
00:59:37.000 And then just go running after him. 1.00
00:59:39.000 You just use a cock ring. 1.00
00:59:40.000 With a big old heart on. 0.99
00:59:41.000 Yeah, but who has a cock ring? 1.00
00:59:42.000 Ah, fuck. 1.00
00:59:42.000 That's one of those things. 1.00
00:59:43.000 If you have it, what's wrong with you? 0.82
00:59:44.000 Don't say that because you're going to get 50 emails of people with alligator cock rings. 0.94
00:59:50.000 And I'll initial it for you. 0.98
00:59:53.000 Hey, bro, there's nothing wrong with cock rings. 1.00
00:59:55.000 Joe Rogan fucking experience. 1.00
00:59:57.000 Let me show you how I make them. 1.00
00:59:58.000 Just a cock ring. 0.97
01:00:00.000 You got Python? 0.99
01:00:02.000 Yeah. 0.94
01:00:03.000 Python cock ring? 1.00
01:00:04.000 So many cock rings. 0.99
01:00:05.000 They all exist. 0.99
01:00:06.000 Yeah, like who's buying sex toys from stores these days?
01:00:10.000 You ever drive by one of them sex toy stores and you're like, for real?
01:00:13.000 It's a ghost town.
01:00:14.000 Who's in there?
01:00:15.000 They're open still.
01:00:16.000 Are those money laundering operations?
01:00:18.000 Maybe, but the Hustler store is still open, I think, on Sunset Boulevard.
01:00:22.000 Is it?
01:00:22.000 That's more of a thing for you and your girlfriend to go like, let's get this.
01:00:26.000 Well, it used to be DVDs.
01:00:27.000 I remember it used to be like, you remember when people used to buy porn DVDs? 1.00
01:00:33.000 There was a day, you fucking kids today are so spoiled. 1.00
01:00:36.000 And VHS porn. 1.00
01:00:37.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:38.000 Oh, I remember that. 0.77
01:00:39.000 That was when I used to watch porn. 0.95
01:00:40.000 You know, I never, and this is all bullshit aside, and I'm not because I'm a good boy. 0.95
01:00:45.000 I never watch porn. 0.95
01:00:47.000 I never ever watch porn because it doesn't do a thing for me.
01:00:50.000 Really?
01:00:50.000 I don't know what it is.
01:00:52.000 I just, I swear to God. 1.00
01:00:53.000 Because you're tired from fucking all the time. 1.00
01:00:54.000 I thought about that the other day. 0.99
01:00:56.000 I was like, I haven't watched porn in...
01:00:58.000 Three days?
01:01:00.000 Since I was 52. I haven't watched porn in so many years.
01:01:05.000 Because you're tired from all your fucking. 1.00
01:01:06.000 Yeah, all my banging. 1.00
01:01:07.000 Because I'm fucking. 1.00
01:01:09.000 Because I fuck. 1.00
01:01:09.000 Porn is an oddly polarizing subject. 1.00
01:01:13.000 Because it's one of the weirdest things ever, if you really stop and think about it. 0.65
01:01:17.000 Because mostly everyone who's healthy enjoys sex. 0.99
01:01:21.000 Whether it's straight sex or gay sex or what kind of sex you like. 0.98
01:01:24.000 If you're healthy and you're young. 0.99
01:01:25.000 Even if you're not young.
01:01:26.000 If you're healthy, your body works well.
01:01:28.000 You like sex. 0.77
01:01:30.000 But yet, filming it. 1.00
01:01:32.000 Yeah.
01:01:33.000 It's so taboo.
01:01:34.000 I know.
01:01:34.000 I think it's because...
01:01:36.000 It's so taboo.
01:01:36.000 It is taboo, and I've thought a lot about that.
01:01:39.000 I think it's because we inherently know, typically, that the person doing it, putting themselves on camera, it is a form of suicide.
01:01:49.000 And what I mean by that is it's a form of...
01:01:51.000 It's a way of ensuring that you keep yourself out of certain segments of society, right?
01:01:58.000 And maybe it's residue from when...
01:02:01.000 When sex was downright dangerous—pregnancy, disease that we didn't have cures for—I think sex had to have a lot of taboos.
01:02:08.000 Like, even in the Old Testament, I think, when the Israelites were not allowed to—you couldn't take the women as slaves. 0.97
01:02:15.000 You had to kill everybody.
01:02:17.000 Well, the reason for that was—unless they were virgins—because the reason for that was you could get a disease.
01:02:22.000 And I can't remember who broke that down, but that was always a thing where— People would get...
01:02:28.000 You'd go into a town and rape all the women and stuff, and then your soldiers would come down with some terrible syphilitic disease.
01:02:35.000 And so, in the Old Testament, the Israelites were, you know, forbidden from taking anybody who was of a certain age. 0.98
01:02:42.000 That's another weird thing about sex.
01:02:44.000 The diseases... 1.00
01:02:46.000 Like, how many goddamn diseases come from fucking? 1.00
01:02:50.000 And people seem fine. 1.00
01:02:53.000 Yeah.
01:02:53.000 That's the thing.
01:02:54.000 It's not like the flu.
01:02:55.000 Or, you know, if someone's like, oh my god, I have a fever.
01:02:59.000 I'm sick. 1.00
01:03:00.000 Can we fuck? 1.00
01:03:01.000 It's not like that. 1.00
01:03:03.000 I got the flu from Maggie. 1.00
01:03:05.000 That dirty bitch. 1.00
01:03:07.000 Like, wait, bro, she was in bed. 1.00
01:03:08.000 She was sick.
01:03:10.000 You couldn't tell she was sick?
01:03:11.000 Oh, I thought I'd be fine.
01:03:13.000 Like, no.
01:03:14.000 When I was younger, if you had a flu, that wasn't going to stop me.
01:03:17.000 If I'm sick, I can't. 1.00
01:03:18.000 I'd be like, I don't give a fuck. 1.00
01:03:20.000 Because you're terrible. 1.00
01:03:20.000 But that's not my point. 1.00
01:03:21.000 My point is, people seem fine and they have a terrible disease.
01:03:26.000 Yes.
01:03:26.000 It's so weird.
01:03:27.000 Yes.
01:03:27.000 Like, the flu is normal.
01:03:29.000 Right.
01:03:29.000 Like, you're sick.
01:03:30.000 You got a temperature.
01:03:31.000 Yeah.
01:03:31.000 Oh, I don't want to be near you.
01:03:33.000 I could catch that disease.
01:03:34.000 Yeah.
01:03:35.000 But that's one of the weird things about this coronavirus in a lot of ways, right?
01:03:38.000 Because they said, we were trying to figure out what the number is, but there's a large percentage, more than half, are asymptomatic.
01:03:45.000 Right.
01:03:46.000 But they're carrying it.
01:03:47.000 But they're carrying it.
01:03:48.000 So they seem fine, but they're spreading this horrible disease.
01:03:53.000 That's weird, but that's sort of like some diseases, some VD, the clap, syphilis.
01:04:00.000 You can have herpes and never show symptoms.
01:04:03.000 So you can have herpes simplex, too, and never show symptoms.
01:04:06.000 And you could be carrying it. 0.95
01:04:08.000 Just shooting dirty. 0.98
01:04:10.000 Herpes ridden loads into people.
01:04:12.000 And apparently all of us have been exposed to herpes. 0.95
01:04:16.000 Cold source from what I understand, on your lips, you have somewhat some immunity to the one on your genitals. 0.96
01:04:26.000 Yeah. 0.96
01:04:28.000 Yes.
01:04:29.000 But you could transfer the ones from your lips to the general.
01:04:31.000 Apparently you can.
01:04:33.000 It's such a weird...
01:04:33.000 Every time I talk to a doctor...
01:04:35.000 You can't fix that one.
01:04:36.000 No.
01:04:36.000 They don't have a vaccine for herpes.
01:04:38.000 No, they just have pills you can take.
01:04:39.000 Oh, they never figured that out.
01:04:41.000 I think they were working on it.
01:04:42.000 There's too many people with herpes.
01:04:43.000 They just let it go.
01:04:44.000 Yeah.
01:04:45.000 It's some crazy number.
01:04:46.000 It's like warts, too.
01:04:47.000 There are different kinds of warts.
01:04:48.000 Well, they have that now.
01:04:50.000 HPV, they do have a vaccine for that.
01:04:52.000 Yeah.
01:04:52.000 They do have a vaccine for that.
01:04:53.000 And that's very important for women. 1.00
01:04:55.000 Because women get it and they get cervical cancer. 1.00
01:04:59.000 It's just the idea that all these diseases are passed on through sex is so strange.
01:05:05.000 Well, if you think about it, you're coming in as close contact as is possible.
01:05:10.000 Maybe you, bro.
01:05:11.000 You're ingesting their fluids.
01:05:12.000 I like to get out of the room.
01:05:15.000 When I come, I like to run into the bathroom.
01:05:17.000 And clean immediately.
01:05:19.000 I just shoot into the sink.
01:05:21.000 Yeah, man.
01:05:22.000 It's hard to... 0.90
01:05:23.000 Yeah, but porn. 0.87
01:05:24.000 We were talking about porn.
01:05:25.000 Why is there taboo?
01:05:27.000 Typically, I think it's because people...
01:05:29.000 I think it's a couple things.
01:05:30.000 I think porn people remind us of a darker animalistic side of ourselves we don't want to admit to, right?
01:05:38.000 So if I watch porn, I'm not going to admit that to a bunch of people I don't know yet.
01:05:43.000 There's something shaming about... 0.99
01:05:46.000 Watching other people have sex.
01:05:48.000 There's something taboo about that.
01:05:49.000 So if I admit...
01:05:51.000 So if I'm around somebody who reminds me of the fact that I... That's why I've always thought it would be the height of hypocrisy. 0.94
01:05:58.000 Whenever people judge porn stars, it's like, you judge porn stars. 0.98
01:06:02.000 You watch porn.
01:06:03.000 Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. 0.67
01:06:06.000 Let's be honest.
01:06:07.000 All of us watch it. 1.00
01:06:09.000 All of us jerk off to it. 0.99
01:06:10.000 I did. 0.99
01:06:11.000 I did my share of it.
01:06:12.000 You stopped a week ago. 0.99
01:06:13.000 My father one time looked at my iPad and he goes, the fuck is this porn? 0.99
01:06:19.000 My search history was so full of sin. 1.00
01:06:22.000 Your dad was looking through your search?
01:06:23.000 He put something in.
01:06:25.000 He was snooping.
01:06:27.000 No, and he saw this.
01:06:27.000 He goes, what is all this?
01:06:28.000 I look at him and I went, I watch porn. 0.94
01:06:31.000 He went like this. 0.82
01:06:33.000 And he went on looking for something.
01:06:35.000 You should really get uncomfortable with him.
01:06:37.000 What is your favorite to watch?
01:06:38.000 Exactly.
01:06:40.000 I'm sure he does, too.
01:06:41.000 I'm sure everybody does.
01:06:42.000 But here's the thing.
01:06:44.000 When you're in a presence of porn people, typically, if they're part of your crew, they remind people of...
01:07:06.000 Yeah, I guess.
01:07:09.000 I don't know.
01:07:10.000 Yeah.
01:07:11.000 I mean, you always have to leave the door open to aberrations.
01:07:14.000 But there was something that I read about—it was a real bummer—the number of women that get into porn that have been sexually molested is off the charts.
01:07:23.000 Yes.
01:07:24.000 Although I've met—I've met—I'm thinking of two in particular. 0.95
01:07:28.000 Alana Evans, who I got to know, who is as normal and as cool a fucking human being as it gets. 0.90
01:07:34.000 She's just—I love her. 0.89
01:07:36.000 She's a great person.
01:07:37.000 She just is.
01:07:38.000 And Asa Akira. 0.99
01:07:40.000 Asa is smart as fuck and a regular... 0.99
01:07:42.000 I kept looking at her going, what's going on here? 0.99
01:07:47.000 She's read everything.
01:07:49.000 She just seems incredibly well-adjusted, but she has that side of her.
01:07:54.000 So I don't know.
01:07:55.000 She does ferocious gangbangs. 1.00
01:07:56.000 Yes.
01:07:57.000 Where it's like all her mascara's gone.
01:08:00.000 Correct.
01:08:00.000 She's covered in cocksnot.
01:08:02.000 Never watched one of her porns, but yes. 0.99
01:08:05.000 Congratulations.
01:08:06.000 Yeah.
01:08:06.000 Because you respect her.
01:08:08.000 No.
01:08:08.000 I just haven't watched it.
01:08:12.000 I got it.
01:08:13.000 Maybe I will now.
01:08:14.000 Maybe that'll break your three-day fast.
01:08:16.000 Exactly.
01:08:17.000 Exactly.
01:08:19.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:08:20.000 It's a weird one because it is sort of universally taboo, but yet almost universally consumed.
01:08:31.000 These are very contradictory things.
01:08:33.000 It is.
01:08:34.000 Very much. 0.98
01:08:35.000 Nicole Aniston, Stevie Blue Eyes, my boy, you know Stevie, he dates Nicole Aniston and now does porn with her. 0.97
01:08:42.000 No. 0.97
01:08:42.000 Oh yeah. 0.97
01:08:43.000 Oh yeah.
01:08:43.000 What?
01:08:44.000 When did this happen?
01:08:45.000 Stevie goes from crime to...
01:08:47.000 Stand up to porn. 0.93
01:08:49.000 He's doing porn with Nicole Anderson? 0.99
01:08:51.000 With his girlfriend. 0.99
01:08:51.000 With his girlfriend. 0.99
01:08:52.000 She's a beautiful girl.
01:08:53.000 She's a beautiful girl.
01:08:54.000 And again, very good businesswoman.
01:08:56.000 Has other investments.
01:08:57.000 You talk to her and she's gorgeous, but you'd never think...
01:09:00.000 I've had long, lucid conversations with this person.
01:09:04.000 She's just not... 0.91
01:09:05.000 It just doesn't make... 0.99
01:09:06.000 So Stevie's showing his cock to the world. 1.00
01:09:07.000 Stevie's got a fucking piece on him. 1.00
01:09:10.000 Got a piece on him? 1.00
01:09:11.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99
01:09:13.000 Does he call himself Stevie Blue Eyes and his porn? 1.00
01:09:15.000 I don't think so. 0.76
01:09:16.000 I don't know.
01:09:16.000 Do you still let him open for you or is he tainted now?
01:09:17.000 I want to. 0.98
01:09:18.000 No, I fucking love that guy. 1.00
01:09:20.000 You know, after he does porn, people see his heart. 1.00
01:09:22.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
01:09:23.000 You should be careful. 0.99
01:09:23.000 He's hilarious. 0.99
01:09:24.000 I don't give a shit. 0.99
01:09:25.000 This is not good. 0.99
01:09:26.000 It's just not good.
01:09:27.000 It's a bad look.
01:09:28.000 Now, Stevie's always welcome.
01:09:29.000 You're a guy on television.
01:09:30.000 I am. 1.00
01:09:30.000 You can't have some porn star open for you. 1.00
01:09:32.000 This is outrageous. 1.00
01:09:32.000 Now I want him. 1.00
01:09:33.000 I want him even more now.
01:09:36.000 I use Malik B, who's amazing.
01:09:39.000 You should be a director and come in and dress like an old-timey director.
01:09:42.000 How's an old-timey director dress?
01:09:44.000 Well, I would dress the way an old-time French director dresses, which would be I would have knickers, I would have boots, I'd have a beret, and I'd have a cane.
01:09:54.000 Cane, like a cattle, like a riding crop.
01:09:58.000 Yes!
01:09:59.000 Yes! 1.00
01:09:59.000 A fucking riding crop. 1.00
01:10:01.000 So be dressed like an equestrian, but I'm not an equestrian. 1.00
01:10:03.000 Like an equestrian.
01:10:04.000 Yes.
01:10:06.000 And maybe even have a, instead of a beret, a hard riding hat.
01:10:09.000 Yes.
01:10:11.000 And action!
01:10:14.000 Unseen! 0.98
01:10:15.000 Could they talk you into doing something where you don't have sex, but you are a comedic relief in a porn film? 0.94
01:10:22.000 Would you be interested in doing that? 0.95
01:10:24.000 I would do that, maybe.
01:10:24.000 Would you?
01:10:25.000 Probably.
01:10:25.000 Would ABC get mad at you?
01:10:26.000 Are you on ABC? Yeah, I'm on ABC. ABC's very conservative.
01:10:29.000 Well, they're owned by Disney.
01:10:30.000 Yeah.
01:10:32.000 But then again, hopefully they don't listen to The Fighter and Kid.
01:10:34.000 Well, hopefully they don't listen to this, because we're trying to set it up.
01:10:41.000 Action!
01:10:41.000 I had a director one time.
01:10:43.000 I was doing the scene.
01:10:44.000 And he goes, I don't believe you.
01:10:47.000 He said, I don't believe you?
01:10:48.000 I don't believe you.
01:10:49.000 Brian, I don't believe you.
01:10:50.000 I don't believe you.
01:10:51.000 Was that Sex and the City?
01:10:52.000 No, it was on MADtv.
01:10:53.000 Really?
01:10:54.000 A director on MADtv is taking it seriously?
01:10:56.000 Actually, I had a director on Oz say that.
01:10:58.000 He goes, I can see you acting.
01:10:59.000 He whispered, hey, I can see you acting.
01:11:03.000 Try something different?
01:11:04.000 Yeah.
01:11:05.000 He was right.
01:11:06.000 Well, you are acting.
01:11:07.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:11:07.000 You should play dumb. 1.00
01:11:08.000 I don't know what you're saying. 1.00
01:11:09.000 I'm supposed to be acting, right?
01:11:11.000 If you don't want me to act, I'll go home.
01:11:13.000 What?
01:11:13.000 You should have focused on stand-up.
01:11:15.000 Yes.
01:11:16.000 Well, you did, eventually.
01:11:18.000 I love it.
01:11:18.000 But you like the acting, too.
01:11:20.000 You're a weirdo. 0.52
01:11:21.000 You like those people, too. 0.97
01:11:23.000 You secretly like those acting people.
01:11:25.000 The ones that I disdain.
01:11:26.000 I don't know about that.
01:11:27.000 You bring them around sometimes and I get grossed out.
01:11:29.000 I don't know if that's true.
01:11:30.000 I have to slowly make my way to the door.
01:11:32.000 I don't think I brought any actors around.
01:11:34.000 You don't anymore.
01:11:34.000 How long ago?
01:11:35.000 It's been a while.
01:11:36.000 You used to bring them around.
01:11:38.000 Yeah, not really. 0.99
01:11:38.000 And I used to be like, hey, what the fuck is this? 0.99
01:11:42.000 Who's this guy? 0.99
01:11:43.000 I'm not comfortable on this guy.
01:11:46.000 The guy would be right there.
01:11:47.000 I don't want to be rude.
01:11:48.000 I don't like this guy. 1.00
01:11:50.000 Bro, but you would bring the worst, like full-on liars, sociopaths, complete pathological liars. 1.00
01:11:55.000 Misfits, misfits. 1.00
01:11:56.000 Liars. 1.00
01:11:56.000 I collected misfits. 1.00
01:11:57.000 But they would just lie about stuff.
01:11:59.000 Maybe they were just nervous around you.
01:12:00.000 But they would just make up stories, though.
01:12:01.000 You can't do that.
01:12:02.000 You can't just make up stories.
01:12:03.000 No, you can't.
01:12:04.000 And you know, sometimes when someone makes up a story and it's so obvious, you're like, what are you saying?
01:12:08.000 But I would never pick up on it and you would go like this.
01:12:10.000 I remember one time where you and I were doing some...
01:12:12.000 We were shooting something as a favor and we were getting our makeup and this guy was talking and he was dating...
01:12:17.000 He was actually dating some porn chick and you were listening to him and in front of everybody, in front of him and everybody, you went like this.
01:12:24.000 You went... 1.00
01:12:26.000 Holy shit! 1.00
01:12:28.000 What a bullshit artist! 1.00
01:12:30.000 Wow! 1.00
01:12:31.000 You're a real bullshit artist, huh? 1.00
01:12:34.000 And it got all weird in the room. 1.00
01:12:35.000 I was like, oh, here goes Joe.
01:12:37.000 Here goes Joe hunkering down.
01:12:39.000 Well, when someone starts lying to you, just lying to you in front of a bunch of people, and I think I remember this story.
01:12:45.000 I think the guy was very criminal, too.
01:12:48.000 It was something like...
01:12:50.000 He's angling to get something out of us and lying.
01:12:53.000 I was like, I know where this is going.
01:12:55.000 You're trying to get something out of us and you're lying. 1.00
01:12:57.000 Like, you're a bullshit artist. 1.00
01:12:59.000 Yes. 1.00
01:12:59.000 And I was like, we're stopping this right now because you're going to dominate this whole day and then you're going to want us to invest in something or give you money. 1.00
01:13:06.000 There was some hustle.
01:13:08.000 You stopped him right away.
01:13:09.000 Yeah.
01:13:09.000 Well, there was some gross sort of semi-aggressive hustle to what he was doing and he was lying to us.
01:13:15.000 Yes.
01:13:15.000 And I was like, this isn't true.
01:13:17.000 Yes.
01:13:18.000 But you called him on it.
01:13:19.000 Record scratch.
01:13:20.000 It was great. 0.98
01:13:21.000 Well, it was one of those moments where this whole day could go to shit because we're trapped in this building with this lyre. 0.99
01:13:28.000 Right. 0.99
01:13:30.000 There's so many of them out here.
01:13:31.000 That's so good to know.
01:13:33.000 I don't have that antenna because I just trust people immediately.
01:13:37.000 That was an obvious one.
01:13:38.000 I remember that one.
01:13:39.000 It was a criminal one.
01:13:41.000 There's some guys that are like, they're criminals. 0.99
01:13:44.000 Sociopaths. 0.99
01:13:45.000 Yeah, but they're angling. 0.52
01:13:47.000 And if you don't...
01:13:48.000 Stop it! 0.99
01:13:49.000 Right there.
01:13:50.000 They're going to get your number.
01:13:51.000 They're going to get your email.
01:13:52.000 They're going to get you this.
01:13:53.000 They're going to get you this.
01:13:53.000 I want to make this meeting.
01:13:55.000 I'm real tight friends with Tom Cruise or this guy or that guy.
01:13:58.000 And it's always that.
01:13:59.000 Yeah.
01:14:00.000 Like name dropping.
01:14:01.000 Yes.
01:14:01.000 Has that ever worked?
01:14:03.000 Does that work?
01:14:04.000 No.
01:14:04.000 That's the weirdest.
01:14:05.000 No.
01:14:06.000 Name dropping is one of the weirdest things that people do that doesn't work.
01:14:08.000 Yeah.
01:14:08.000 It's so sad and strange.
01:14:10.000 But it doesn't work.
01:14:11.000 No.
01:14:11.000 But yet people do it.
01:14:13.000 Yeah.
01:14:13.000 It's a weird one.
01:14:14.000 Right?
01:14:14.000 Yep.
01:14:15.000 Like fame by association.
01:14:17.000 Yep.
01:14:18.000 It never works.
01:14:19.000 It never works.
01:14:20.000 But people do it.
01:14:21.000 And then when people are like, yeah, you know, I'm real good friends with Leo.
01:14:25.000 I don't want to be that guy.
01:14:27.000 I don't want to be, all due respect, I don't want to be the good friend to the big celebrity.
01:14:34.000 Unless you do something completely different.
01:14:37.000 Unless you do something that's completely outside the business.
01:14:39.000 Well, if you don't need that person.
01:14:40.000 If you're not part of their entourage.
01:14:42.000 Yeah, like maybe David Sinclair talks about who's friends with you.
01:14:46.000 That kind of thing.
01:14:47.000 Yeah.
01:14:47.000 I know Brian Callen.
01:14:48.000 I'm friends with him.
01:14:48.000 I like that.
01:14:49.000 People are like, oh, well, you're a respected Harvard psychologist or biologist.
01:14:52.000 Well, I got very excited when Lex Friedman came to my show. 1.00
01:14:54.000 I mean, yeah, he's a fucking brainiac. 0.99
01:14:57.000 MIT scientist, a legitimate genius. 0.99
01:14:59.000 Yeah, and a black belt in judo and jiu-jitsu.
01:15:01.000 Yeah, yeah, great guy.
01:15:03.000 But that is, that's different.
01:15:06.000 That's someone who's accomplished in a different realm.
01:15:07.000 It's the people that are in that business that are like trying to be producers or trying to be a this or trying to be a that.
01:15:13.000 It's like there's so much weirdness going on out here in terms of like people being inauthentic.
01:15:19.000 Did I tell you the story about how I was in Boston at the Wilbur and then we went to this club?
01:15:25.000 Did I tell you where there were these three Ethiopian guys and my buddy's girlfriend's Ethiopian?
01:15:30.000 Did I tell you the story?
01:15:31.000 I don't think so.
01:15:32.000 Oh, so I'm with Lex Friedman, black belt.
01:15:34.000 I'm with my other boy, Rob, who's a black belt, 6'4", 230. I'm with Brian Cooley, who owns Gracie Baha in fucking Nashville. 0.95
01:15:47.000 He's 6'6 to 70? 0.99
01:15:50.000 Yeah.
01:15:51.000 6'6 to 70. A Viking.
01:15:53.000 A fucking Viking. 1.00
01:15:54.000 Wears his hair in a ponytail blonde. 1.00
01:15:55.000 Giant.
01:15:57.000 42 years old and still competes in jiu-jitsu.
01:16:01.000 And then I got my boy Malik B, who came out of Mayweather's camp, boxed at wildcard forever.
01:16:07.000 He's been throwing a right hand since he was seven.
01:16:09.000 And Malik has his Ethiopian girlfriend and there are these four little Ethiopian dudes who are drunk and being shitheads and actually kind of dancing with the girls that are in the group and they had to be pushed away a couple times. 0.99
01:16:22.000 Anyway, finally the guy comes up to Malik and says, that girl belongs to us because she's our sister and you and Malik's black but he's like fucking from Louisiana. 0.99
01:16:33.000 Right. 0.98
01:16:34.000 And so Malik, who's been fighting, goes, what?
01:16:37.000 And he goes, oh, Jesus.
01:16:37.000 He doesn't say anything.
01:16:38.000 He's just too happy.
01:16:39.000 He just goes, whatever.
01:16:40.000 And I go, what did he say?
01:16:41.000 And I go, what are you saying to us?
01:16:43.000 And the guy goes, that's our sister. 1.00
01:16:46.000 She shouldn't be with you guys.
01:16:47.000 She's with us.
01:16:48.000 And the Ethiopian girl, Helena, goes, you're being disrespectful. 0.86
01:16:52.000 So Brian Cooley said they don't know that they're surrounded by literally four black belts A great boxer. 0.99
01:17:00.000 And then me, the idiot, the loudmouth, who's probably going to be the first guy to throw a punch because I'm insecure. 0.99
01:17:04.000 So we're all there. 1.00
01:17:06.000 And these four guys who are maybe 5'7", never done a sport in their life.
01:17:10.000 And Brian Cooley just looks down at the guy and goes, Hey, bro, you know the movie Jaws?
01:17:15.000 Jaws?
01:17:16.000 And the guy goes, Huh?
01:17:17.000 And he goes, The movie Jaws.
01:17:19.000 You know that movie?
01:17:20.000 And the guy goes, Yeah.
01:17:21.000 And he goes, Right now in this scenario, you're the girl.
01:17:25.000 You guys are the girl swimming in the water.
01:17:27.000 You understand?
01:17:28.000 You're swimming in the water and you got no idea you're about to be pulled under.
01:17:32.000 Do you understand what I'm saying?
01:17:33.000 And he's just giant looking down.
01:17:35.000 And then you see the human guy go...
01:17:37.000 And he sees the circle kind of tightening and he just looks at everybody and he goes...
01:17:40.000 He just goes like this.
01:17:41.000 He goes, oh...
01:17:43.000 Gives his double thumbs up.
01:17:45.000 At least he's smart. 1.00
01:17:46.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
01:17:47.000 And his friends are like, ah. 1.00
01:17:48.000 And they were drunk and just kind of moved away in a group.
01:17:51.000 It would have been so bad for them.
01:17:52.000 Men and egos.
01:17:53.000 So bad for them.
01:17:54.000 That's the greatest metaphor. 0.99
01:17:56.000 You know the fucking movie Jaws? 0.99
01:17:58.000 Well, that's John Jock's metaphor. 0.99
01:18:01.000 Oh, it is?
01:18:01.000 Yeah, John Jock's metaphor for jiu-jitsu.
01:18:03.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00
01:18:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:18:05.000 He said, the ground is the ocean, and I'm a shark, and most people can't swim.
01:18:09.000 You know, I train with Hegan.
01:18:11.000 Oh, he's great.
01:18:12.000 Oh, the best. 0.99
01:18:12.000 I fucking love him. 0.99
01:18:13.000 He's got some very controversial system where he's teaching people, celebrities, jiu-jitsu and giving them belts, but they don't really spar. 0.99
01:18:22.000 Well, they're celebrities.
01:18:23.000 I will always spar.
01:18:24.000 Here's the thing.
01:18:24.000 He taught me a lot of Greco stuff, which was really cool.
01:18:28.000 I love that shit. 1.00
01:18:29.000 Hegan's a beast, man. 1.00
01:18:30.000 Oh, my God.
01:18:31.000 In 2003 in Abu Dhabi, I was doing time for him in Sao Paulo.
01:18:35.000 I was holding the time.
01:18:36.000 He was like, tell me how much time?
01:18:38.000 Because he wasn't in the best shape, so he would conserve his energy.
01:18:42.000 Of course.
01:18:43.000 He's just so technical, he could get away with beating really good guys without being in tip-top condition.
01:18:49.000 I'm sure.
01:18:49.000 You ever see the video of him rolling with Hickson, fighting with Hickson?
01:18:52.000 No.
01:18:52.000 Yeah, there's a famous jiu-jitsu film.
01:18:55.000 It's in black and white, and it's probably from... 1.00
01:18:58.000 Shit. 1.00
01:19:00.000 89 or 1990 or some shit. 1.00
01:19:03.000 Like pre-UFC. And they're in Rio at a jiu-jitsu tournament back when there was no jiu-jitsu tournament.
01:19:11.000 What year is this?
01:19:13.000 What does it say?
01:19:14.000 Hegan had 360 fights.
01:19:15.000 It just said 86. Look at this.
01:19:18.000 86, man.
01:19:20.000 So this is like me when I was just getting out of high school.
01:19:23.000 Wow!
01:19:23.000 It's Hickson on the bottom, Hegan on top.
01:19:25.000 Look at how relaxed he is.
01:19:26.000 Dude, they had a battle. 1.00
01:19:28.000 Dude, Hegan at the time was a fucking beast. 1.00
01:19:30.000 Hegan's way bigger than Hickson, by the way. 1.00
01:19:32.000 He is.
01:19:33.000 He is.
01:19:33.000 He is.
01:19:35.000 And this is a real battle.
01:19:37.000 It's a really interesting match to watch as well because they're both so technical.
01:19:42.000 Hegan studied so many other things.
01:19:44.000 He was an amateur boxer for a long time.
01:19:47.000 But he did a lot of wrestling with the guys.
01:19:49.000 He rolled to try to get Hickson's back.
01:19:51.000 He keeps getting Hickson's back.
01:19:52.000 But he gets shook off. 1.00
01:19:53.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:19:54.000 He rolls him over. 1.00
01:19:55.000 Yeah, Hegan was a big fella.
01:19:56.000 Yeah, big and strong.
01:19:58.000 210 to 20. Look at this though.
01:19:59.000 Hickson on top.
01:20:00.000 Wow.
01:20:00.000 Hickson rolled them.
01:20:01.000 I mean, these guys, they really went for it too.
01:20:04.000 It was a really wild sort of a match with a lot of scrambles.
01:20:08.000 I didn't know this.
01:20:09.000 Yeah, you should watch it.
01:20:10.000 It's really interesting.
01:20:10.000 I didn't know it was 86. I would have guessed it was 90 or 91. Now, the game has changed so much since, right?
01:20:17.000 It has.
01:20:18.000 But not fundamentals.
01:20:19.000 Yes, but the guys who have exceptionally sharp fundamentals still dominate.
01:20:26.000 Like Hodger Gracie.
01:20:28.000 Hodger's never been a guy who adopts the new aspects.
01:20:32.000 Look at that beautiful sweep by Hegan that Hicks encountered.
01:20:36.000 Hodger's never been a guy who adopted a lot of the crazy new techniques.
01:20:44.000 Roger Gracie's all, actually he calls himself Roger or Hodger, I'm not sure, but he's like straight up old school, arm bar, pass, triangle.
01:20:55.000 Just that system of fundamentals.
01:20:57.000 Yeah, the fundamentals.
01:20:58.000 If you watch really good wrestlers, they do the same, like high-level wrestlers.
01:21:02.000 They're still doing ankle picks.
01:21:04.000 They're still controlling the head and hips.
01:21:06.000 They're still double and single-legging.
01:21:08.000 Well, Jean-Jacques has a way of talking about it.
01:21:12.000 He said, the more jiu-jitsu I know, the less I use.
01:21:15.000 Wow.
01:21:16.000 Yeah.
01:21:16.000 It says I use like five things.
01:21:18.000 Yeah.
01:21:19.000 It's timing.
01:21:20.000 Yeah.
01:21:21.000 Did you ever see when Jean-Jacques first started competing in Abu Dhabi?
01:21:25.000 He was one of the first Gi champions to do no Gi and be really successful because Jean-Jacques was born with a genetic deficiency in his left hand.
01:21:33.000 He doesn't have a left hand, he just has a thumb.
01:21:36.000 And so because of that, he never relied on grabbing things.
01:21:40.000 He never relied on grabbing the gi.
01:21:41.000 He relied on a more Greco-Roman-based style of over hooks and under hooks.
01:21:45.000 So when he would roll with those guys, it's like, good, there's nothing to grab.
01:21:49.000 I never grabbed anything anyway.
01:21:50.000 And so he would just dominate people. 0.97
01:21:53.000 Even guys like Sakurai, who's a top-level MMA guy, just fucking ran through him. 0.97
01:21:59.000 Sakurai. 0.98
01:21:59.000 Sakurai. 0.98
01:22:00.000 Hayato Sakurai, who was like a beast back in the day.
01:22:03.000 Yeah, he ran right through him.
01:22:04.000 He ran right through a bunch of guys.
01:22:06.000 So cool.
01:22:07.000 Yeah.
01:22:08.000 And it's, you know, those guys that do that style, like Jean-Jacques style is the same way, man.
01:22:15.000 He's never been like a guy who does a lot of wild, fancy stuff.
01:22:18.000 Yeah.
01:22:18.000 But there's a lot of guys who do wild, fancy stuff that are like super successful with that, too.
01:22:22.000 Look, there are great boxers, great boxers that use ones and twos the whole fucking fight. 0.98
01:22:27.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
01:22:27.000 They might throw two hooks. 0.99
01:22:29.000 Just finding something.
01:22:32.000 What's that Bruce Lee expression?
01:22:33.000 Don't beware of the man who knows 10,000 techniques.
01:22:37.000 Beware of the man who knows one thing that he's practiced 10,000 times.
01:22:40.000 Well, it's like the Book of Five Rings.
01:22:41.000 Miyamoto Masashi talks about Like, the practicing, real sword fighting literally is reaching and you have time for one strike.
01:22:51.000 And that's what he would practice over and over.
01:22:54.000 I mean, he said very rarely does ever a fight, a sword fight, go to a duel.
01:22:59.000 Like a ching-ching-ching. 1.00
01:23:00.000 That doesn't happen. 0.99
01:23:01.000 And that shit is like, it's final. 0.99
01:23:03.000 When Musashi fought so many people, he'd get bored and he'd start fighting people with ores. 1.00
01:23:07.000 What?
01:23:07.000 Yeah, he made wooden swords out of oars and he would fight people with oars.
01:23:11.000 Well, he had a famous school where they would practice like, you know, where it was basically as realistic practice as you get.
01:23:17.000 Yeah, he said the only way to practice for that is that mindset. 0.98
01:23:20.000 God damn, imagine realistic practice with swords. 0.98
01:23:23.000 He would do things like get you, like if you were about to think, he would turn you toward the sun so the sun was in your eyes. 0.99
01:23:28.000 Oh yeah, and he would also show up really late.
01:23:32.000 Really?
01:23:32.000 He was into showing up really late.
01:23:33.000 And used two swords?
01:23:35.000 Yeah, hours late.
01:23:36.000 Yeah.
01:23:36.000 Hours late.
01:23:37.000 So you'd be freaking out for hours while he's taking a nap. 1.00
01:23:39.000 Damn. 0.99
01:23:39.000 Because the guy would be waiting on the beach, and then he would show up hours late, and he wouldn't even have a sword, just use an oar. 0.99
01:23:44.000 What? 0.99
01:23:44.000 And fuck you up with an oar. 0.99
01:23:46.000 What? 1.00
01:23:46.000 Yeah, because oars are longer. 1.00
01:23:48.000 So you've got this sword, and you're standing there with a sword, and this guy comes out with a long stick and just fucking cracks you over the head with it. 0.97
01:23:56.000 Not a good thing. 0.98
01:23:57.000 Well, he was a big man, too.
01:23:59.000 He was an interesting guy, man.
01:24:00.000 I mean, to understand what it takes to defeat more than 60 men in one-on-one combat.
01:24:08.000 Well, it's also not combat. 1.00
01:24:10.000 This is life and death shit. 0.99
01:24:11.000 This is like, you know, sword play. 1.00
01:24:14.000 Getting cut with a sword is not...
01:24:16.000 Swords are not terribly forgiving. 1.00
01:24:19.000 Bullets are more forgiving than is a sword.
01:24:21.000 Yeah, in a lot of ways.
01:24:22.000 Yeah.
01:24:23.000 You're not walking away from a bloody throat. 1.00
01:24:26.000 It's also a very personal way to fuck somebody up. 1.00
01:24:29.000 Dude, you feel and hear and see them breathing. 0.99
01:24:33.000 I mean, everything.
01:24:35.000 Someone's head just falls and their body's still standing up. 1.00
01:24:38.000 God damn. 1.00
01:24:39.000 And their body collapses. 1.00
01:24:40.000 Or you cut their arm off.
01:24:41.000 Oh! 1.00
01:24:44.000 Yeah, imagine living in a day where that shit was going on all the time. 1.00
01:24:47.000 Oh my god, France! 1.00
01:24:48.000 In France, there were so many duels.
01:24:50.000 People would walk around with swords and there was a time in France where just, you'd see people with like, they'd lose, they'd have no ear, they'd have constant scars or no nose.
01:24:58.000 But you know, that was like a sort of a badge of honor for Nazis. 0.74
01:25:02.000 Nazis had dueling scars.
01:25:03.000 Really?
01:25:03.000 Did you know that?
01:25:04.000 No.
01:25:04.000 Oh my god.
01:25:05.000 Pull up Nazi dueling scars.
01:25:07.000 Now here's where it gets really weird.
01:25:08.000 A lot of the Operation Paperclip scientists that the United States brought over from Nazi Germany.
01:25:14.000 When Nazi Germany was defeated in World War II, the United States took on all their scientists and brought them over to work for NASA. Wernher von Braun.
01:25:24.000 Wernher von Braun, the head of NASA, was a fucking straight up, complete 100% Nazi. 0.98
01:25:32.000 In fact, the Simon Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive today, they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. 0.99
01:25:37.000 Right.
01:25:38.000 I mean, he was a real Nazi. 0.86
01:25:39.000 Yep. 1.00
01:25:39.000 Him and his cabinet, all those fucking guys they brought over, they all had these massive cheek scars. 1.00
01:25:44.000 Really? 1.00
01:25:45.000 Yeah, they had scars all over their face.
01:25:47.000 From duels?
01:25:47.000 From duels.
01:25:48.000 They would wear goggles.
01:25:50.000 And they would wear some kind of protection on their body, and their faces would get sliced open.
01:25:57.000 Wow.
01:25:58.000 And they relished it.
01:25:59.000 It was like a cool thing to have, like a big scar on your face.
01:26:03.000 So who showed us that?
01:26:04.000 Do you remember who showed us that?
01:26:05.000 I don't know, but as I'm doing that, something popped up that I hadn't seen before.
01:26:08.000 It's actually called Modern Academic Fencing, or the Menser in German.
01:26:13.000 I love combat like that.
01:26:16.000 They're not just fighting to fight.
01:26:18.000 There's no winner or loser in it.
01:26:20.000 Well, that's interesting, but this what I want to see is just pull up the images of Nazi dueling scars because they're horrific like these guys like post duel with look at that one guy with the goggles on with his face slashed open See that down there?
01:26:33.000 Yeah, look at that.
01:26:34.000 Look at that They'd cut their face like that.
01:26:37.000 Yeah, so you'd have something that covers your nose and your eyes.
01:26:40.000 And look at this, he's got a giant slash in his forehead, a giant slash on his face.
01:26:44.000 Yeah, see that guy with the blue arrow on his face? 0.99
01:26:47.000 Like that kind of shit, those scars on the faces, they would all have those. 1.00
01:26:51.000 Wow. 1.00
01:26:51.000 Click on that guy right there. 1.00
01:26:54.000 Look at that.
01:26:55.000 They all had those kind of scars on their face from dueling.
01:26:58.000 Look at that guy below him.
01:27:00.000 Right below him.
01:27:01.000 No, right below him.
01:27:02.000 Right below him.
01:27:02.000 The big image?
01:27:03.000 Yeah, right there.
01:27:05.000 Jesus.
01:27:05.000 Look at that guy's face.
01:27:06.000 See, they all had those kind of scars on their face, and it was like to let everyone know these were bad motherfuckers that would, you know, have duels with swords. 0.99
01:27:15.000 That's crazy. 0.99
01:27:16.000 Yeah, it was really, really common, man.
01:27:20.000 Mensur, is that what you're talking about, Jamie?
01:27:21.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:27:22.000 M-E-N-S-U-R, and what's that stand for again? 1.00
01:27:25.000 It's academic fencing.
01:27:26.000 It was in college they did all this.
01:27:30.000 I bet.
01:27:30.000 Yeah.
01:27:31.000 Fucking crazy, man. 1.00
01:27:33.000 The bragging scar. 1.00
01:27:35.000 Menser scars or the bragging scar.
01:27:38.000 Yeah.
01:27:39.000 But there's some horrific pictures of these guys post-match where they were trying to piece their face back together again.
01:27:46.000 And you could literally see inside their face, see their teeth. 1.00
01:27:50.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:27:50.000 Damn! 1.00
01:27:52.000 Damn! 1.00
01:27:53.000 Damn! 1.00
01:27:53.000 Damn! 1.00
01:28:12.000 Swords, man. 1.00
01:28:12.000 Yeah, and they had those long, I think it was called, what do they call it, a rapier or something like that? 1.00
01:28:17.000 Rapier, yeah.
01:28:18.000 A rapier.
01:28:18.000 Oh, it calls it paracere.
01:28:20.000 It's a different version of it.
01:28:22.000 But they had those long, pointy swords. 0.53
01:28:25.000 Yeah, so you could, you know, slice you apart.
01:28:27.000 It takes this. 0.98
01:28:28.000 Yeah, and your nose is gone. 1.00
01:28:29.000 Fuck that. 1.00
01:28:30.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00
01:28:31.000 But they all, like, wanted to get scarred up. 1.00
01:28:33.000 Of course.
01:28:34.000 It's like a cauliflower.
01:28:36.000 I guess.
01:28:37.000 It's all as old as time.
01:28:39.000 It's as old as time.
01:28:40.000 Young men.
01:28:41.000 Young men.
01:28:42.000 Wanting to be.
01:28:42.000 Wanting to prove.
01:28:43.000 Look at that.
01:28:44.000 They went into battle.
01:28:45.000 Young men go into battle with full of ideas of linear ideas of duty and honor and glory.
01:28:50.000 And then, unfortunately, war can many times make a mockery of that.
01:28:55.000 War is obviously a fog and insane and chaotic and unfair and not linear and crazy and It's horrifying and all those things.
01:29:05.000 And lacks dignity and all those things.
01:29:08.000 You see that a lot.
01:29:10.000 It seems to me that when a lot of soldiers I've spoken to had real combat experience, when they come out of that, it's very difficult for them.
01:29:20.000 There's a lot to come to terms with, and sometimes they have a lot of trouble.
01:29:25.000 Bringing their life back into a linear way of thinking.
01:29:27.000 How could it go from one way of life where everything is life and death?
01:29:32.000 Yeah.
01:29:33.000 Every corner you turn around, it could be the end.
01:29:36.000 Every day that you're out there could be the end.
01:29:38.000 Well, that's one thing.
01:29:41.000 Life and death is, again, linear and bilateral.
01:29:46.000 There are a lot of things that happen in war.
01:29:47.000 You keep saying winning by linear when you're saying that.
01:29:49.000 There are certain concepts.
01:29:51.000 When we, as human beings, I think most of us have a contract with life.
01:29:55.000 You know, you grow up and you say, if I work hard and I keep swinging, it's going to pay dividends, right?
01:30:00.000 And most of us live that way.
01:30:02.000 Most of us believe in fair play.
01:30:04.000 Like something about the universe is somewhat fair.
01:30:06.000 The universe rewards hustle.
01:30:08.000 The universe rewards, you know, we have these ideas and we have to believe in those ideas and usually we're right about it, right? 0.99
01:30:15.000 It's almost like we enter a game where we know I can jab and I can punch and I can hook, but sometimes you get fucking kicked in the face. 0.96
01:30:26.000 And you go, but that wasn't the role I was playing with. 0.98
01:30:28.000 It's like, hold on, I was boxing and you're doing MMA. And life does that to you.
01:30:34.000 Can do that to you to a point where you lose your faith in...
01:30:38.000 Who wrote Where the Wild Things Are?
01:30:40.000 I never forgot.
01:30:41.000 He said, are you a religious?
01:30:43.000 And he said, no, I'm an atheist.
01:30:44.000 The war took care of that for me.
01:30:45.000 You know, he saw too many things.
01:30:47.000 He saw too many children starve and die and all those things.
01:30:50.000 And I think that when things get bad enough in war, when you get that close to reality and that close to that chaos, Whatever contract you had gets shattered.
01:31:00.000 In fact, it gets mocked.
01:31:02.000 You are mocked by the insanity of it all.
01:31:05.000 And any notion, so when I say linear, what I mean is sort of like, I'll do this if you do this for me.
01:31:11.000 So it's a give and take, cause and effect.
01:31:13.000 Did you ever see Unforgiven?
01:31:15.000 I did.
01:31:15.000 I love that movie.
01:31:16.000 Do you remember when he kills Gene Hackman and Gene Hackman can't believe that he's going to die?
01:31:20.000 Mm-hmm.
01:31:20.000 It's not supposed to happen to him?
01:31:22.000 Mm-hmm.
01:31:22.000 That's what they say sociopaths.
01:31:25.000 When sociopaths get convicted of life, oftentimes what happens is they look up and they go, what?
01:31:33.000 Wait, what?
01:31:34.000 Me? 0.97
01:31:36.000 And it all comes down because of what a sociopath like that, a criminal sociopath, usually believes is it's impossible. 0.81
01:31:43.000 They'll never get caught because they're too smart.
01:31:45.000 Is it because they're too smart or they think the world revolves around them and so the idea of them being punished?
01:31:52.000 Well, Hitler, you know, according to a historian, I can't remember his name, Buchholz, he said, I think it was John Buchholz that said, Hitler was so colossally self-involved, self-centered, that he truly believed that when the war was lost,
01:32:10.000 and he came to the realization that the war was lost, he expected Germany to self-emulate.
01:32:16.000 He expected Germany, all Germans, to burn themselves. 0.99
01:32:21.000 To kill themselves and light themselves on fire, essentially. 1.00
01:32:24.000 He expected that from the German people. 1.00
01:32:27.000 Really?
01:32:27.000 Because he was going to do it.
01:32:28.000 He actually said that?
01:32:29.000 Yes.
01:32:30.000 And he was going to do that.
01:32:31.000 That is according to Buchholz, the historian who follows his stuff.
01:32:34.000 Jesus Christ.
01:32:35.000 Yeah.
01:32:36.000 And that's not uncommon for the great sociopaths, the great...
01:32:40.000 I mean, if you think about Genghis Khan, he truly believed that, and almost did, That he could dominate and own the entire world.
01:32:51.000 These people like Alexander the Great and those kind of people who were clearly, I'm sure their enemies didn't think of them as so great.
01:33:00.000 But they had this force of nature, this ability to believe in themselves to the point where they were going to own the world.
01:33:07.000 And some of them almost did.
01:33:08.000 Well, if you think about it, any kind of thing where you're trying to conquer something, say if you have a small tribe and there's another tribe that's close to the river and they have more resources and you're in dispute with them and you try to conquer that tribe, that is one level of this game.
01:33:26.000 We're going to get our warriors together.
01:33:29.000 We're going to sneak in the middle of the night. 0.99
01:33:31.000 We're going to attack them. 0.99
01:33:32.000 Maybe.
01:33:33.000 But the point is, there's that level.
01:33:36.000 So let's not call it a game, but let's say this is an endeavor.
01:33:40.000 This is a thing that you're doing.
01:33:41.000 With anything that anybody does, some people take it way further, right?
01:33:45.000 Like some people try an open mic night, and they go, this is kind of interesting.
01:33:49.000 I'll do stand-up every now and then.
01:33:51.000 They do it once a month.
01:33:51.000 Other people, they get obsessed.
01:33:52.000 They do it every fucking day, and they do 10 sets a day, and they live in New York City, and they take fucking cabs everywhere, and Ubers, and they live it. 0.99
01:34:00.000 They're like Mark Norman, right? 1.00
01:34:02.000 They live it.
01:34:03.000 That's the same thing with war.
01:34:04.000 It's the same thing with everything.
01:34:06.000 Same thing with fighting.
01:34:07.000 Same thing with everything.
01:34:09.000 You know, some people just they become obsessed.
01:34:11.000 It becomes everything.
01:34:13.000 It becomes their everything.
01:34:14.000 And they don't care about anything else.
01:34:15.000 They don't care about other people.
01:34:17.000 They don't care about the environment.
01:34:19.000 Yeah, that's trying to get really good at something.
01:34:21.000 But I think some people try to literally remake the world in their image.
01:34:26.000 I think so too, but I think that obsession carries on.
01:34:30.000 I think the obsession to conquer a neighboring tribe or to take over a town or to conquer a city or a country or a continent, there's just weird things that people do where they take things as far as they can be taken.
01:34:46.000 And they do that even with war. 0.93
01:34:48.000 That scares the shit out of me with China. 1.00
01:34:51.000 It really does. 0.89
01:34:53.000 Oh, here's something I wanted to talk about.
01:34:55.000 This is something I sent you, Jamie.
01:34:58.000 That 20 million cell phone users are missing from China.
01:35:05.000 Where does that stat come from?
01:35:07.000 Is that an American stat?
01:35:08.000 They don't know.
01:35:10.000 They don't know if this means there's 20 million casualties, because it also coincides with their switch to 5G. They switched from 5G in January.
01:35:20.000 So from January to March, China lost 20 million cell phone users.
01:35:26.000 Now, what does that mean, though? 0.99
01:35:28.000 It's hard to tell, but I think you could safely say, whatever they say the casualty number is, is bullshit. 0.99
01:35:36.000 Exactly. 0.99
01:35:37.000 That's pretty safe, because they've been bullshitting left and right about the whole thing.
01:35:41.000 You know, they go on Twitter, there's some branch of the government that's involved in propaganda that's trying to say this is a United States government creation.
01:35:49.000 Of course.
01:35:49.000 The Chinese are incredibly practical.
01:35:51.000 The Chinese, you know, a lot of people, and I'm speaking of the government, of course, I think when you live in a society that has been essentially communist or really at the mercy of a central authority and the all-powerful central authority for so long.
01:36:10.000 Forever.
01:36:10.000 It's also that's a society that treated religion with great disdain and suspicion.
01:36:16.000 So they didn't really have, even though there are small pockets of these different, but for the most part, I think when you forcibly rid a population of religion, What you are left with is something that takes its place. 0.88
01:36:31.000 Sure, an ideology like communism or whatever, but they're not really communists anymore.
01:36:34.000 But I do think what happens is you get a population that deals in practicality, that is, I'm sure, very good to each other when they know somebody, but also deals in things like cause and effect.
01:36:47.000 Not so much the over...
01:36:49.000 One of the things, a friend of mine, I'm speaking for a friend of mine who does a lot of business, billions of dollars in business with China.
01:36:56.000 And another friend, in fact, who does a lot of business with China did so and speaks fluent Chinese.
01:37:01.000 Both of them had something, an interesting observation, which was that when you speak about morality in a Judeo-Christian way, when you think about, you say, well, that's just the wrong way to do it.
01:37:14.000 That in dealing in business with a Chinese company is not necessarily – that's not really the way to approach business.
01:37:24.000 They are way more practical than that.
01:37:26.000 That doesn't mean that the average Chinese person is not moral or ethical.
01:37:30.000 I don't know.
01:37:31.000 But certainly you will get burned if you are playing by the rules that you are used to, which would be just don't do it because it's not the right thing to do.
01:37:41.000 Right.
01:37:42.000 That's not going to find its way a lot of times when you're dealing in commerce with China.
01:37:47.000 Well, you're dealing with a military dictatorship who thinks about things the same way they think about war.
01:37:52.000 Correct.
01:37:52.000 They are not our ally.
01:37:53.000 I believe they are our enemy.
01:37:56.000 I mean, they'll do whatever they can.
01:37:58.000 I think to get an upper hand.
01:37:59.000 They also now have enough wealth and they have a huge middle class where they can almost start, they're starting to become way more self-sufficient.
01:38:07.000 We don't have the symbiotic relationship we used to with China.
01:38:10.000 China doesn't need our consumers as much as they did, not even close. 0.98
01:38:14.000 They have their own consumers in their own country.
01:38:16.000 What's weird is that we need them.
01:38:18.000 What's weird is how much we need them for the manufacturing of medicine.
01:38:22.000 97% of all our antibiotics.
01:38:24.000 That is so crazy. 1.00
01:38:26.000 It's stupid. 1.00
01:38:26.000 How did we ever let that happen? 1.00
01:38:28.000 China and India.
01:38:29.000 How did they ever let that happen?
01:38:30.000 Is it because they could save money?
01:38:32.000 It's more efficient.
01:38:32.000 Is it more efficient or is it more cost-effective?
01:38:35.000 They're better at making it.
01:38:36.000 But why?
01:38:37.000 Do they have magic?
01:38:39.000 No, yes.
01:38:40.000 Then why can't we do it?
01:38:41.000 Their factories are amazing.
01:38:42.000 They're incredibly efficient.
01:38:44.000 But the Chinese... 1.00
01:38:46.000 See, people worry about the Chinese.
01:38:48.000 I don't think they'll ever be in our area code as innovators.
01:38:52.000 They steal from us.
01:38:53.000 They take our intellectual property, etc.
01:38:55.000 But that'll always be a catch-up game.
01:39:00.000 And part of the reason, I think, is that I love the quote from Why Nations Fail.
01:39:06.000 I believe China, yes, they put their Uyghurs in concentration camps. 1.00
01:39:11.000 I went in Beijing.
01:39:12.000 The first thing they said is, you cannot speak about the government.
01:39:15.000 If you say anything about the government, you will be sent home.
01:39:19.000 Oh, and by the way, here's a cell phone, Brian.
01:39:21.000 You can use WeChat.
01:39:22.000 You're not using your iPhone.
01:39:24.000 When was this?
01:39:24.000 This was when I did a movie this summer, two summers ago.
01:39:27.000 So they gave you a phone to use.
01:39:29.000 Uh-huh.
01:39:30.000 And they said you can't use your phone.
01:39:32.000 And you don't get on Google.
01:39:33.000 You have to find thousands of firewalls.
01:39:35.000 You have to find all different ways to get over their firewalls because they control the internet there.
01:39:40.000 Make no mistake.
01:39:41.000 So can you use a VPN? I don't know what that is.
01:39:44.000 Virtual private network or ExpressVPN?
01:39:47.000 You try to do that and then they block that too, so you have to keep coming up with new ways.
01:39:50.000 I was right there with the production designer and assistant who was dealing with that issue.
01:39:54.000 So you're essentially at the mercy of their news.
01:39:57.000 Of course.
01:39:58.000 So here's the thing.
01:39:59.000 There's a great quote, and I've said it before probably even on this podcast, and I love it.
01:40:03.000 You can hold a gun to a man's head and make him move a box or a rock.
01:40:08.000 You cannot hold a gun to a man's head and make him have a great idea.
01:40:14.000 It's a great quote.
01:40:15.000 It's a great quote.
01:40:16.000 So China, Russia, you guys have great weapons and you have great power in manufacturing. 1.00
01:40:22.000 You will never be a country of great ideas because you oppress people and people can't give you motherfuckers the finger. 0.99
01:40:30.000 Xi is the most powerful man in China along with his people, his inner circle. 0.99
01:40:36.000 And if you, in any way, look at the whistleblowers.
01:40:39.000 Isn't it interesting that the whistleblowers, the original whistleblowers on the coronavirus are dead and they were doctors in their 30s.
01:40:45.000 Did they die of the disease?
01:40:46.000 Did they?
01:40:47.000 Or what happened?
01:40:48.000 A lot of them, a lot of the journalists, a lot of the journalists and a lot of those doctors were disappeared.
01:40:53.000 They just didn't, they're dead or they disappeared.
01:40:55.000 China can do that.
01:40:57.000 And somebody who lived there for their whole life, I was there, and he was an American and said, people get disappeared here all the time, dude.
01:41:04.000 You don't speak against the government.
01:41:06.000 It just doesn't happen.
01:41:07.000 And I think that's one of the great evils.
01:41:11.000 And that's what I worry about.
01:41:12.000 Anytime we have a pandemic like this, where the government can just shut you down, at the behest of scientists and doctors, I suppose.
01:41:20.000 But I get very worried when someone like Gavin Newsom can say, nobody's going back to work for a month.
01:41:25.000 I'm not saying that right now that isn't a sound policy.
01:41:29.000 I just get very worried when the government has that kind of power to shut all of us down without a discussion.
01:41:34.000 Once they start with that kind of totalitarian power, it's very difficult to turn that off.
01:41:39.000 That's right.
01:41:39.000 It's for our own good.
01:41:41.000 If you study history, it's always for the people's good.
01:41:44.000 Well, that's what Edward Snowden is warning everybody about this now.
01:41:47.000 He should be.
01:41:48.000 Hitler, when he came to power, talked about that.
01:41:51.000 He said, I think there was a fire in the Reichstag.
01:41:56.000 And he used these emergency powers to suspend civil liberties.
01:42:02.000 They started the fire so that they could do that.
01:42:04.000 It was a false flag.
01:42:05.000 There you go.
01:42:05.000 Yeah, they did that.
01:42:06.000 It's the same way Nero burned Rome.
01:42:07.000 Yeah.
01:42:08.000 Same reason.
01:42:08.000 Yeah.
01:42:09.000 It's the age-old, you know, so just...
01:42:11.000 Well, that's what the conspiracy theorists think that 9-11 was.
01:42:15.000 Yeah.
01:42:15.000 Yeah.
01:42:16.000 Good for them.
01:42:17.000 I don't mind their...
01:42:19.000 I appreciate their paranoia.
01:42:21.000 I think that's American.
01:42:22.000 Yes.
01:42:23.000 I don't think that's a bad thing, and I think you should always be...
01:42:25.000 What's the fundamental question to political philosophy?
01:42:28.000 The fundamental question?
01:42:29.000 Who governs the governor? 0.81
01:42:31.000 Yes.
01:42:31.000 Very important.
01:42:32.000 Yes, very important. 0.99
01:42:33.000 Who the fuck governs? 0.99
01:42:34.000 Who's governing the governor? 1.00
01:42:35.000 Yes.
01:42:35.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 I don't trust my government and I shouldn't.
01:42:38.000 No, you shouldn't.
01:42:39.000 It's also like people that have power, like the kind of unchecked power that you see in China, they're not going to give that up.
01:42:45.000 Career politicians.
01:42:46.000 They're going to fight for it.
01:42:47.000 They're going to fight for it.
01:42:48.000 Well, you see that with career politicians.
01:42:49.000 You see that with this bill that they're trying to pass to help people that are dealing with this coronavirus because they can't work and they're slipping all kinds of stuff in there.
01:42:59.000 Of course!
01:43:00.000 AOC and Bernie Sanders, they're all trying to...
01:43:03.000 Yeah, they're all slipping things in there about the environment.
01:43:05.000 Of course. 0.94
01:43:06.000 It's like, hey guys, we want to fucking solve a problem. 0.97
01:43:08.000 Slipping into the stimulus package. 0.97
01:43:09.000 That is something that politicians do. 0.99
01:43:11.000 They utilize this moment to try to use it to leverage their own causes, their own pet causes, things that they think are also important.
01:43:19.000 There were a group of people that did that with the invasion of Iraq.
01:43:22.000 When 9-11 came along, they said, look, Iraq is harboring al-Qaeda terrorists.
01:43:27.000 They probably are getting weapons into the hands of people like al-Qaeda.
01:43:31.000 There was a whole story that was woven up, and that was a way of essentially crippling the fourth largest army in the world, which was Iraq, and making our allies. 0.89
01:43:41.000 Did you ever hear the Bill Hicks bit?
01:43:42.000 He goes, they said, Bill, Iraq is the fourth largest army.
01:43:47.000 He goes, yeah, but after the first three, there's a real big drop off.
01:43:53.000 He's like, the fifth largest is the Salvation Army.
01:43:59.000 It's so true. 0.84
01:44:00.000 Yeah.
01:44:02.000 He had a whole great bit about the size of armies.
01:44:06.000 Well, we were in Afghanistan for, how long was it, guys?
01:44:10.000 18 years.
01:44:11.000 He goes, hey, Bill, they say, Bill, it's a war when there's two armies fighting.
01:44:17.000 Yeah.
01:44:19.000 He goes, but Bill, Iraq is the fourth largest army in the world. 0.80
01:44:24.000 Doesn't mean we won't stay there.
01:44:25.000 He had some great bits, man. 0.99
01:44:27.000 Some great points about shit. 0.99
01:44:31.000 Thought outside the box. 0.99
01:44:33.000 That's what I'm always amazed at, is how these things can carry on.
01:44:36.000 Somebody did a really cool, funny thing about how every general in the Iraq, in the Afghanistan theater, every single...
01:44:45.000 Every single year would say, we are at a turning point where the Taliban will be under our control.
01:44:52.000 Every time they would make a case for the Iraq war, more money, I'm sorry, for the Afghan war, more money, more logistics, all those things that required more troops, the generals would say, we are, it was always the same wording,
01:45:08.000 we're at a turning point And we just need a little more.
01:45:12.000 Well, that's what they have to say.
01:45:14.000 But what's interesting is if they really did accomplish that, they'd actually cut off the honeypot.
01:45:19.000 Of course!
01:45:20.000 They wouldn't have the money coming in.
01:45:22.000 That's the darkest conspiracy ever, that war is prolonged in order to prop up the military-industrial complex.
01:45:29.000 And what's really crazy about the military-industrial complex is when there was Eisenhower talking about it on TV, which was really terrifying.
01:45:36.000 That was when the first people were introduced to this concept.
01:45:39.000 But Trump was talking about it recently.
01:45:41.000 You know, Trump's doing this thing.
01:45:43.000 He's like, well, you know, this is a military-industrial complex and these guys want to go to war.
01:45:46.000 Like, he's just saying it sort of casually.
01:45:48.000 Like, hey, man, who are you talking about? 1.00
01:45:51.000 Like, who are these fucking people? 0.99
01:45:52.000 There's a lot of money in it. 1.00
01:45:53.000 Oh, my God.
01:45:54.000 And not only that, there are other people, non-governmental organizations, too, that get raided by their burn rate.
01:45:59.000 So we're going to build a dam here.
01:46:01.000 Well, we don't need a dam here, but we're going to build it anyway because we're allotted that money.
01:46:05.000 There's a lot of that goes on.
01:46:06.000 So that's why with conspiracy theories, I'm way more apt to believe that the government is way more incompetent than it is competent.
01:46:16.000 It's just a massive, bloated bureaucracy that doesn't run well.
01:46:20.000 And I know, guys, I know there's a group of people controlling everything. 0.97
01:46:24.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99
01:46:25.000 There's a little bit of that. 0.99
01:46:26.000 There's definitely a lot of incompetence, but there's also a lot of collusion.
01:46:30.000 There's also a lot of people doing things specifically because they know it's profitable.
01:46:33.000 You can make money.
01:46:34.000 Yes, yes.
01:46:35.000 And also, look what they're doing to Bernie Sanders to try to keep him from winning the DNC, or rather from winning the Democratic nomination.
01:46:42.000 They've conspired, and they put a guy who literally is going senile.
01:46:47.000 That's what's shocking to me.
01:46:48.000 In front of our eyes.
01:46:49.000 That's what's shocking.
01:46:49.000 And they're trying to pretend it's not happening.
01:46:51.000 How about Amy Klobuchar? 0.58
01:46:52.000 She's great.
01:46:53.000 She didn't know who the president of Mexico was.
01:46:56.000 She had no idea what his name was.
01:46:57.000 She's doing an interview with a guy from Mexico, a journalist.
01:47:01.000 But she's a smart woman who... 0.94
01:47:03.000 I just think she's way more moderate and she seems articulate.
01:47:07.000 You need some of this.
01:47:08.000 But Biden's 79. Listen, just because someone seems articulate doesn't mean they should be the president.
01:47:12.000 True.
01:47:13.000 If you don't know who the president of Mexico is, maybe you haven't done enough studying.
01:47:16.000 Yeah.
01:47:17.000 Do you know who the president of Mexico is?
01:47:18.000 I have no idea.
01:47:19.000 I'm not trying to write for president.
01:47:20.000 I barely know the guy from Canada, the Trudeau guy.
01:47:22.000 I just know him because he's been busted with blackface. 1.00
01:47:25.000 I'm like, LOL. Well, his father was the longtime premier.
01:47:31.000 Listen, man, I don't think anybody should be president.
01:47:33.000 Really?
01:47:34.000 Yeah, no.
01:47:35.000 I think it's a terrible idea.
01:47:36.000 I think there's no way you really can be responsible for all those things. 0.95
01:47:40.000 There's no way you could really be well-read on all the different variables and everything when it comes to economics, when it comes to the environment, when it comes to military operations, when it comes to the fucking... 0.78
01:47:51.000 Energy and industry. 0.96
01:47:53.000 There's no fucking way one person. 0.50
01:47:55.000 It should be a large group of people that essentially have no stake in the game. 0.93
01:48:03.000 It should be people that have no ability to profit whatsoever.
01:48:06.000 They get a healthy income and they cannot profit outside of that.
01:48:10.000 There should be some sort of a regulation.
01:48:13.000 And then after you're gone, it should be impossible for you to make speeches to banks where you get paid a half a million dollars.
01:48:20.000 Well, there's supposed to be a cooling off period.
01:48:21.000 And Elizabeth Warren wanted a two-year cooling valve period. 1.00
01:48:25.000 I think right now there's only a six-month or an eight-month.
01:48:27.000 If you work for the Department of Defense, you can't go back to Raytheon or Boeing.
01:48:32.000 You're not supposed to be able to go back for at least two years.
01:48:34.000 Oh, great.
01:48:35.000 And vice versa.
01:48:36.000 So two years, you go, man, two years, I'm going to be so rich.
01:48:39.000 Exactly.
01:48:39.000 Oh, boy.
01:48:40.000 24 months goes by quick.
01:48:41.000 Yes, it does.
01:48:42.000 It should be 200 years.
01:48:43.000 I agree.
01:48:44.000 It should be a large...
01:48:45.000 It should be like the Scientology contract.
01:48:46.000 Yeah.
01:48:47.000 Where it's billions and billions of years.
01:48:49.000 You can never do it.
01:48:50.000 Do you know that?
01:48:51.000 Yes, I know.
01:48:52.000 It's a billion-year contract.
01:48:53.000 That's a wonderful contract.
01:48:55.000 Yeah.
01:48:55.000 It's enforceable.
01:48:56.000 Yeah.
01:48:57.000 One billion.
01:48:58.000 One billion years.
01:49:01.000 One billion.
01:49:02.000 Oh.
01:49:04.000 Yeah, man, I don't know.
01:49:04.000 Not that there's anything wrong with Amy Klobuchar.
01:49:06.000 Look, I think Tulsi Gabbard was the most interesting of all of them to me.
01:49:10.000 And they shut her out quick. 0.53
01:49:12.000 As soon as she sank Kamala Harris, like, danger.
01:49:14.000 Why did they shut her out, though?
01:49:15.000 Because of the Kamala Harris thing. 0.91
01:49:16.000 They wanted Kamala Harris to win.
01:49:18.000 And she sank her in one debate when she stated all those irrefutable facts.
01:49:23.000 And everybody was like, whoa, she's throwing bombs!
01:49:27.000 She did, didn't she? 0.99
01:49:28.000 And they fucking cut her out of the mix after that. 0.99
01:49:30.000 They cut her out of the mix quick. 1.00
01:49:33.000 It's interesting, man, because it's obviously not let's see who the people choose.
01:49:38.000 It's let's manipulate the opinions of the public.
01:49:43.000 This is what the whole game of running a campaign is.
01:49:48.000 Let's prop someone up.
01:49:49.000 Let's make them look great.
01:49:50.000 Let's have these ads with wonderful music and them standing there looking presidential.
01:49:55.000 And then even in spite of all that, you've got this poor guy in Joe Biden that is experiencing dementia.
01:50:03.000 Is he 77?
01:50:04.000 How old is he?
01:50:06.000 Yes, and Bernie's older than him.
01:50:08.000 Bernie's 80. He had a heart attack, right?
01:50:10.000 He had a heart attack while he was on camp.
01:50:12.000 That's a big problem.
01:50:12.000 Took a few days off and is like, we're back!
01:50:15.000 We're back in for the people!
01:50:17.000 Look, Bernie at least believes what he says.
01:50:20.000 He's also, though, one of the knocks on him is people are like, He's not interested, and if you ask him how you're going to pay for all this, you're talking about Bernie looks at the world as right and wrong, and it's a moral issue for him. 0.97
01:50:31.000 So, and he is, and he did take his honeymoon in the fucking Soviet Union. 0.96
01:50:36.000 Say what you will, I do believe the guy is essentially a closet communist. 0.99
01:50:40.000 Ooh! 0.96
01:50:41.000 Yeah, I said it. 1.00
01:50:42.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00
01:50:43.000 I said it. 1.00
01:50:43.000 I said it. 1.00
01:50:44.000 And I always marvel at socialists, it's not...
01:50:46.000 Democratic socialists, it's a difference.
01:50:48.000 Yeah, but I still marvel at the idea that if you really trust government, Again, it comes down to, are they as efficient as the marketplace?
01:50:55.000 In some ways, they might be.
01:50:57.000 But in other ways, they may not be.
01:50:59.000 I don't know how...
01:51:00.000 They're not doing a great job with the homeless situation in California, are they?
01:51:03.000 It's the worst job ever.
01:51:04.000 Yes. 0.99
01:51:05.000 They really fucked that up. 0.97
01:51:05.000 There are a lot of bad worst jobs. 0.97
01:51:07.000 I don't know if you could blame that on democratic socialists.
01:51:09.000 That's blamed on...
01:51:10.000 I'm not.
01:51:10.000 It's actually a law that you can't remove someone from a place unless you have another place to bring them to.
01:51:16.000 Yes, yes.
01:51:16.000 And it was a law to protect poor people and people that were harassed.
01:51:19.000 And then it became a homeless law.
01:51:21.000 And now you go into the underpasses.
01:51:23.000 And this is my thing that I've always said.
01:51:25.000 How come it's okay to litter for them?
01:51:27.000 They're basically littering. 0.65
01:51:29.000 They have junk stacked up. 1.00
01:51:30.000 If you throw a fucking coffee cup, rightly so, out a window, the cops should be able to pull you over and give you a fucking ticket. 1.00
01:51:35.000 And you should have to pay that goddamn ticket. 1.00
01:51:37.000 But if you were just... 1.00
01:51:39.000 Tent and you have boxes and shit and cardboard all over the place. 0.98
01:51:43.000 You're allowed to do that and people have to leave you alone. 0.98
01:51:45.000 It's not good for them.
01:51:47.000 It's not good for anybody to allow these gigantic homeless encampments to appear under bridges. 0.96
01:51:53.000 And I don't know what the solution is, but I just think that alone, like if you put that on the governor or the president or the mayor, Goddamn, that's a problem.
01:52:00.000 That's a problem that's gonna take so much money. 0.98
01:52:03.000 It comes from opiates, it comes from mental illness.
01:52:05.000 They're already 40 or 50 or whatever they are.
01:52:08.000 What are you gonna fix them? 0.97
01:52:09.000 Do you know how hard it is to fix a person who's kind of got their shit together?
01:52:12.000 How hard is it to get Bert Kreischer to stop drinking? 0.99
01:52:14.000 It's so fucking true. 0.99
01:52:14.000 How hard is it to get a person who's got their shit together but has a problem? 0.99
01:52:19.000 Like, can't stop smoking cigarettes. 1.00
01:52:21.000 Can't stop gambling. 1.00
01:52:22.000 How many fucking people do you know that are like that? 1.00
01:52:25.000 All of our friends have one thing that they're just like fucking compelled. 0.99
01:52:30.000 Now imagine compounding that to 70,000 people that are at the bottom end of it. 0.99
01:52:36.000 So instead of at the top end of it, someone who makes a good living, who has a family and has life insurance and is also a fuck up. 0.98
01:52:42.000 Instead of that... 0.72
01:52:43.000 You've got someone who's never had anything. 0.99
01:52:45.000 And people have been fucking them over their whole life. 0.99
01:52:47.000 And they've been on drugs since they were young. 1.00
01:52:49.000 And they were sexually abused and physically abused.
01:52:51.000 And they went to juvenile home.
01:52:52.000 And maybe they were in foster care.
01:52:54.000 And they were beaten and abused.
01:52:55.000 And then here they are at 40. Their brains literally changed.
01:52:58.000 Yes. 1.00
01:52:59.000 There's an amazing fucking book by this guy named Joe Newman called Raising Lions. 0.99
01:53:03.000 I just read it. 0.99
01:53:04.000 Man, I wish I'd read this book when my kids were three.
01:53:07.000 This guy, they bring this guy in.
01:53:09.000 So in the past, I don't know if you know this, but in the past 10 years, Bipolar disorder in children has been diagnosed 40 fold.
01:53:17.000 Jesus Christ.
01:53:18.000 Now that doesn't mean, and you know what the solution is typically in the psychiatric ward?
01:53:21.000 Medication, medication, then medication.
01:53:23.000 That's the third option.
01:53:24.000 And Joe Newman comes in a lot of times. 0.99
01:53:26.000 It's a fucking great book. 0.98
01:53:27.000 And he comes in and essentially will say, this kid's throwing tantrums and is impossible to deal with because he is profiting or she is profiting from that behavior. 1.00
01:53:39.000 Kids are way smarter than you think they are.
01:53:41.000 And he instills sort of a very, very interesting approach that I've used. 0.97
01:53:47.000 I fucking love the book. 0.65
01:53:49.000 It's a short, small book. 0.98
01:53:51.000 But when you think about, without going into the book and stuff, the reason I bring it up is when you think about, you can change.
01:53:58.000 You can literally change a child's brain.
01:54:03.000 By instilling certain behaviors, certain boundaries, certain protocols as a parent, as an adult, as an educator.
01:54:10.000 Because what you do is you get them to exercise self-control.
01:54:14.000 You get them to exercise a form of mood stabilization for themselves.
01:54:20.000 But you have to do it in a certain way.
01:54:22.000 When you don't do that with children, when you let them go crazy, freak out, and put them inside isolation rooms, a lot of times what we'll do is we'll There's nothing we're doing wrong.
01:54:31.000 We're not doing anything wrong as adults.
01:54:32.000 We're reasoning with them.
01:54:34.000 We're talking to them.
01:54:35.000 I don't know.
01:54:36.000 What we'll do is we'll medicate them because they're out of control.
01:54:39.000 And there is a window with children where you can actually let them keep going down that path and they are basically...
01:54:46.000 And then you put them on these mood stabilizers.
01:54:48.000 You put them on psychotics.
01:54:50.000 You put them on anticonvulsive drugs.
01:54:53.000 Sometimes they're on four medications that are in a row.
01:54:56.000 And he's had great success coming in and changing all that because what happened was you just weren't getting the kid to exercise the muscles of self-control.
01:55:05.000 And there's a way to do that.
01:55:07.000 It's very simple, a very interesting book. 0.99
01:55:08.000 But what I'm saying is that there is a fucking window with kids where if you don't get to certain kids at a certain time with a good behaviorist, You're in deep fucking shit, and their whole life spirals out of control, and then it goes into substance abuse and everything else. 0.99
01:55:22.000 So you're talking about now adults who've had all that abuse? 0.99
01:55:26.000 I mean, I don't know what you would do. 0.98
01:55:28.000 I really don't know what the fuck you would do, because they're self-medicating to begin with. 0.99
01:55:31.000 They're self-medicating to begin with. 0.99
01:55:33.000 They've been addicted to drugs most of their lives, or all of their behavior has been formed while they're addicted to drugs.
01:55:40.000 This is a giant problem with people that are In their 40s and 50s who've been drug abusers their whole life.
01:55:47.000 Imagining a world with no drugs and no escape from reality and having to be accountable for your actions and then also having to deal with the things that have been done to you.
01:56:00.000 And to try to figure out a way to heal from your childhood and your life is over.
01:56:06.000 Your body's starting to fail you, right?
01:56:08.000 You've been abusing yourself for all these years.
01:56:10.000 And the idea that there's some simple solution to dealing with 70,000 people at various stages of that that are currently homeless.
01:56:18.000 Some of them that may be able to recover pretty quickly.
01:56:22.000 They're just on the street for a little bit. 0.97
01:56:24.000 They're going to get their shit together and they're going to get out of this. 0.99
01:56:26.000 They're determined. 0.99
01:56:26.000 There's a lot of people like that. 0.99
01:56:28.000 I think people vary widely.
01:56:30.000 Of course they do.
01:56:30.000 They vary so much.
01:56:32.000 But the addiction rate, if you look at the people that really follow this, the addiction rate and the amount of mental illness is very high.
01:56:38.000 Very high.
01:56:39.000 And I think, this is where I think, like in Singapore, you'd never, in Singapore they'd just start to be put in homes.
01:56:47.000 Terrific. 0.99
01:56:48.000 I do think that there's something humane about taking people who are rolling their own shit up in a ball. 0.99
01:56:54.000 Look, I mean, by the way, you know, schizophrenics, those people need to be taken care of. 1.00
01:56:59.000 And they need to be...
01:57:00.000 I don't think it's a terrible thing to show up in a padded wagon and take them into a protective...
01:57:06.000 Be careful with that, though.
01:57:07.000 Be careful with that. 1.00
01:57:08.000 Someone might say you're fucking crazy. 1.00
01:57:09.000 I know. 1.00
01:57:10.000 Scoop you up.
01:57:11.000 I know.
01:57:11.000 That's why it was unconstitutional.
01:57:13.000 Well, yeah, that's why you move the boundaries, right?
01:57:16.000 And this is the argument against what we're saying, right?
01:57:18.000 You move the boundaries in any direction where it's not total freedom, and then it can slide further from there.
01:57:24.000 That's the problem.
01:57:24.000 How do you define mental illness, right?
01:57:26.000 So that's when you say, well, you're mentally ill, so you can't own a gun.
01:57:29.000 Well, people go, well, how do you define mental illness?
01:57:32.000 You define that as, I had an anger management issue at my work once.
01:57:37.000 I suffer from depression.
01:57:38.000 How about this?
01:57:40.000 How about the most polarizing?
01:57:42.000 Religion versus no religion. 0.99
01:57:43.000 There's people that think that if you are religious, that you have a mental health issue.
01:57:47.000 And there's people who are religious that think that if you're an atheist, you have a mental health issue.
01:57:52.000 This is like a very polarizing line in the sand that I've heard argued by intelligent people.
01:57:57.000 I've never heard that.
01:57:58.000 I've seen intelligent people that have blinders on that think that if you're an atheist, you're a fool, and you probably have a mental illness, and you probably have this extreme belief in science above God and above the laws of the Bible, and they'll say it in this articulate way, 0.99
01:58:14.000 like, God damn, this guy believes that. 0.99
01:58:16.000 He really believes that all atheists have a mental health problem. 0.99
01:58:19.000 So if you get a person who's in a position of power that can also run this ideology, they have this ideology, like one of the things that almost all presidents do, but particularly right-wing presidents, ever since Reagan started introducing the religious aspect of the right into politics,
01:58:36.000 they made it a big deal during the Reagan campaign.
01:58:39.000 You see that so many presidents, particularly on the right, They have to talk about God.
01:58:44.000 They have to.
01:58:46.000 They have to talk about God.
01:58:47.000 It's a Christian nation, still.
01:58:48.000 You bring people in.
01:58:50.000 You're on my side.
01:58:52.000 I'm not on the God side.
01:58:53.000 And you see that argument argued by many people who are like fevered Trump supporters.
01:59:00.000 The really, really wacky ones are like super into God wanting Trump to be our president.
01:59:06.000 And then you get this group of people. 0.86
01:59:08.000 Well, if they get into power, And you've got some law in place that says that if you're mentally ill, you can be locked up.
01:59:15.000 How many steps does it have to take before it slides to you?
01:59:18.000 It might only take a few.
01:59:20.000 Yeah, and I agree.
01:59:21.000 Where I like religious thought in discourse and even in policy, it's limited, but I do like the idea that When you think that you can get human beings out of all problems using human rationality, mathematics and science,
01:59:37.000 you better be careful with that too.
01:59:38.000 Because you can use math and rationality to justify some pretty horrific things as the Soviets and the Nazis did and everybody else. 0.85
01:59:46.000 So there is something really, really cool about – and Yuval Harari comes in on this and so does Jonathan Haidt.
01:59:54.000 There is something really kind of – One of the things Jonathan Haidt says, we're all religious.
01:59:58.000 All human beings are religious.
01:59:59.000 Some people are just religious about science.
02:00:01.000 Some people are religious about rationality at all costs.
02:00:03.000 Some people are religious about nutrition.
02:00:08.000 So you've got to take an inventory of your own brain and how your belief system works as well.
02:00:14.000 Politics are as close to religion as you can get.
02:00:17.000 100%.
02:00:18.000 There's also rewards for adhering to one or the other ideology, especially in an aggressive way, because then you get rewarded for being the watchdog of either right-wing values or left-wing values, progressive values, conservative values.
02:00:33.000 I suffer from it.
02:00:34.000 Yeah.
02:00:34.000 We all do, man.
02:00:35.000 People have done it.
02:00:36.000 It's a thing that we do.
02:00:38.000 There's a reward there.
02:00:39.000 You pick it up.
02:00:40.000 Well, I got a kick out of this COVID thing.
02:00:42.000 Whenever somebody says socialist, I go like this.
02:00:45.000 I go, keep them away.
02:00:47.000 Get them away.
02:00:48.000 No socialists.
02:00:49.000 And I have a very visceral reaction to people like AOC or Bernie Sanders because I think that they're socialists, right?
02:00:57.000 But having said that, this COVID disaster, which nobody saw coming, Crippled the economy. 0.97
02:01:04.000 I know people who are very market-oriented people who said, we need this fucking $2 trillion stimulus. 0.98
02:01:13.000 That's a socialist measure. 0.97
02:01:16.000 I was looking for the government for a bailout.
02:01:19.000 I don't need it, but I want that $2 trillion in the system that had to be mandated by government politicians.
02:01:27.000 And in a COVID-19 scenario, guess what?
02:01:31.000 I'm a bit of a socialist.
02:01:33.000 You know, I find myself going...
02:01:34.000 That's why I think the idea of there being one or the other, these are two complex...
02:01:43.000 It's too many super complex issues to lump on one side or the other.
02:01:48.000 It's too hard.
02:01:50.000 A person who's an expert on financial intervention or industry intervention to provide medical equipment to deal with the respiratory virus that hits people at an unprecedented rate, that's not a left-wing or right-wing thing.
02:02:05.000 That's a thing. 0.97
02:02:07.000 And if that gets lumped into socialism versus libertarianism, we got a fucking real problem. 0.91
02:02:12.000 Because that's a good idea for everybody. 0.96
02:02:14.000 Yes.
02:02:15.000 Right?
02:02:15.000 Yes.
02:02:15.000 Well, Jordan Peterson said something I never forgot.
02:02:18.000 He said, when you get down to the level of detail, when you're trying to solve problems, get food on, you know, get a lot of protein and carbohydrates and fats into the...
02:02:26.000 Let's say 300 million human bodies or just running a restaurant or whatever it is when you're trying to get something done, get manufacturing of medicines away from China and the United States. 0.97
02:02:37.000 When you get to the level of detail, left wing and right wing politics seem to go out the fucking window. 0.88
02:02:44.000 You're dealing with practicality now. 0.98
02:02:47.000 We've got to get a job done. 1.00
02:02:48.000 And I don't know if you're into fucking geese or if you're a trans. 1.00
02:02:56.000 I don't give a shit. 1.00
02:02:56.000 Can you do the job well? 1.00
02:02:58.000 Let's get this job done.
02:02:59.000 And then we can talk about the other stuff.
02:03:00.000 That's kind of what happens.
02:03:01.000 I noticed in a war zone when I was in Afghanistan...
02:03:05.000 I don't say Afghanistan anymore.
02:03:06.000 How come?
02:03:07.000 I don't know.
02:03:08.000 You became less authentic?
02:03:10.000 I like to be more American.
02:03:12.000 When I was in Afghanistan, I remember none of the soldiers would talk politics.
02:03:18.000 None of them.
02:03:19.000 They were like, I don't talk about that right now.
02:03:21.000 I got a job to do.
02:03:22.000 I got a job to do.
02:03:24.000 I know what my mission is and that's the way it is.
02:03:27.000 So when you get to the level of details, a lot of times, it's what I think a lot of times when you deal with people who live in a real world where they have to make a profit with their business or whatever they do when they live in the real world, they tend to be more moderate to maybe more market-oriented.
02:03:44.000 And when you get people that have been in an academic setting their whole life, In a political setting, their whole life where they make laws and you have academics that come up with theories to support those laws,
02:04:02.000 they tend to be a little bit less practical, a little bit more theoretical, just by the nature of how they live their lives on a daily basis.
02:04:12.000 You know, it's interesting.
02:04:13.000 I was just thinking this while I was talking about these complex issues.
02:04:17.000 Like, why are we voting For a person, like one individual leader that handles all those things.
02:04:24.000 Why instead isn't there a vote for the person who's got the best solution to each of those individual problems?
02:04:30.000 And those are the people that run the country.
02:04:33.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:04:33.000 I do.
02:04:34.000 I mean, the idea that- I love that.
02:04:35.000 It seems like that's a possible idea.
02:04:38.000 You mean, so you'd get an economic stud, somebody made a lot of money to run the economy?
02:04:42.000 Yes.
02:04:42.000 Yes.
02:04:42.000 Yes, you get an economic president.
02:04:44.000 Yes.
02:04:44.000 Yes, you get a war president.
02:04:46.000 Well, that's why I like Mitt Romney in a lot of ways. 0.99
02:04:48.000 Guy was fucking, you know, an economic stud. 0.98
02:04:50.000 He had a lot of stuff. 0.99
02:04:51.000 Yes.
02:04:51.000 But they hold that against you now.
02:04:53.000 Also Mexican.
02:04:54.000 He is?
02:04:54.000 His dad's Mexican.
02:04:55.000 I didn't know that.
02:04:56.000 His dad tried to run for president because his dad was born in Mexico.
02:04:59.000 He couldn't run for president.
02:05:00.000 I thought he was white as could be. 0.80
02:05:01.000 Well, he is.
02:05:02.000 Because he came from the Mormons who escaped and moved to Mexico so they can boink! 1.00
02:05:06.000 Yes.
02:05:07.000 Boink! 0.99
02:05:08.000 They wanted to have all these wives. 1.00
02:05:09.000 Let's keep this party rolling.
02:05:11.000 Wow, big Mexican community down there.
02:05:13.000 Huge.
02:05:13.000 And that was the big story with the cartel.
02:05:16.000 They slaughtered nine of them, including women and children.
02:05:19.000 Why?
02:05:19.000 Did they ever find those guys?
02:05:21.000 Did they ever find out why?
02:05:21.000 They don't.
02:05:22.000 I don't think they have a definitive answer, obviously, because everyone's dead.
02:05:25.000 But I think they either did it because they were always in dispute with those people from the Mormon colonies.
02:05:32.000 Or because they mistook them for someone who was in another rival gang.
02:05:37.000 It's hard to tell.
02:05:39.000 The cartel, they're not big on interviews after they murder people.
02:05:43.000 So I don't know what happened.
02:05:44.000 I don't know if the people that shot them were punished by the cartel.
02:05:48.000 That was something that Ed Calderon said that would probably happen.
02:05:50.000 They would do it publicly because they don't want to start a war.
02:05:53.000 But look, the whole thing's crazy.
02:05:56.000 We've got a giant multi-billion dollar drug industry that's connected to us.
02:06:02.000 Yeah.
02:06:03.000 How about legalizing it? 0.99
02:06:04.000 How's the fucking war going? 0.99
02:06:06.000 Not like that. 0.99
02:06:06.000 Like, imagine if you had to choose between, like, what are your big problems? 0.99
02:06:10.000 Is your big problem the massive amounts of drugs that are coming into the country that are killing people and addicting people?
02:06:18.000 Or is it important to hold it down in Afghanistan, some places on the other side of the planet? 0.86
02:06:24.000 You've got a place that's connected to you that's directly affecting people, like in this really weird way.
02:06:30.000 The best thing I ever heard Bill Maher say, the best thing was when he said, terrorism isn't going to kill you, America. 0.99
02:06:37.000 It's the corn syrup and all the shitty food you eat. 0.99
02:06:39.000 He's right! 0.99
02:06:40.000 He is right. 1.00
02:06:41.000 Fucking diabetes! 0.99
02:06:42.000 I don't know if it's him writing or his monologue writers, but they make some great points like that. 1.00
02:06:47.000 Those monologues that he does for real time, he makes some great points.
02:06:50.000 Yes! 1.00
02:06:51.000 Funny shit, too. 0.99
02:06:52.000 But we have a problem in that whenever you tell someone that they can't do something, which I don't agree with at all. 0.99
02:07:00.000 Don't get me wrong about this whole drug issue.
02:07:01.000 I don't think you should be able to tell a guy who's 60 years old he can't do meth. 0.99
02:07:05.000 That fucking guy wants to do math. 1.00
02:07:06.000 I agree. 1.00
02:07:07.000 He should be able to do math.
02:07:07.000 Here's the question is, should it be okay for you to sell him math?
02:07:10.000 Well, that's where it gets weird, because I know you're a piece of shit if you're selling math. 1.00
02:07:14.000 You're selling this poor guy math? 1.00
02:07:15.000 You know he doesn't need math, Brian.
02:07:17.000 He needs a hug.
02:07:17.000 This is what would happen.
02:07:18.000 If you made all drugs legal, they'd get zoned, they'd get taxed, there would be ways to do it.
02:07:25.000 Look, you want to do math?
02:07:27.000 The conversation would be like this.
02:07:29.000 It'd be exactly like this.
02:07:30.000 You want to do meth.
02:07:32.000 First of all, if you want to work for my company, no meth.
02:07:34.000 I got a private company, no meth.
02:07:35.000 You can't do meth.
02:07:36.000 I know it sounds crazy, but you're not an efficient worker.
02:07:38.000 You want to be a pilot?
02:07:39.000 No meth.
02:07:39.000 You want to be a cop?
02:07:40.000 No meth.
02:07:40.000 You want to work in my factory, heavy machinery?
02:07:42.000 No meth. 1.00
02:07:44.000 Video games, I mean, maybe it'll help you, but if you want to lose your teeth, go ahead, you fucking idiot, go ahead. 1.00
02:07:49.000 So I think, again, cocaine. 1.00
02:07:52.000 We're going to have very pure cocaine, and guess what?
02:07:54.000 To get it from leaf to powder, less murder.
02:07:57.000 No murder, in fact.
02:07:58.000 How's that sound?
02:07:58.000 It's locally sourced.
02:08:00.000 How's that sound?
02:08:01.000 You can do your blow.
02:08:02.000 And again, you want to do blow.
02:08:05.000 I got to wake up in the morning.
02:08:06.000 I can't be up all night.
02:08:08.000 I would love to do blow. 1.00
02:08:09.000 I love blow. 0.98
02:08:10.000 I can't do it because- How many times have you done it?
02:08:12.000 Probably five, six times in my life.
02:08:15.000 Wow.
02:08:15.000 Fantastic.
02:08:16.000 And you love it, and you've never done it more than that?
02:08:17.000 It's the best drug of all time.
02:08:19.000 Really?
02:08:19.000 It's the best drug of all time.
02:08:22.000 Again, the joke is when two people are doing blow, they start a business together.
02:08:26.000 You know what I mean? 0.97
02:08:27.000 It's like, let's just fucking open a candle store. 0.97
02:08:28.000 And it sounds like the best idea in the world. 0.98
02:08:30.000 But I don't do blow.
02:08:31.000 I'm not a drug guy.
02:08:32.000 I don't have time. 0.99
02:08:33.000 But the point is, if you had a place I could go, and it was pure, and it wasn't cut with a bunch of shit I don't know about, and I knew I could do it and fucking talk to my friend or have sex with some, you know, whatever it is, Maybe. 0.99
02:08:47.000 If I had time. 0.99
02:08:49.000 Maybe.
02:08:49.000 But if there was consistency.
02:08:50.000 Give me the responsibility.
02:08:51.000 If there was consistency.
02:08:53.000 Yeah.
02:08:53.000 Like, if all drugs that were dangerous were illegal.
02:08:56.000 Yeah.
02:08:56.000 Then maybe I could kind of get your point, but how many people die of overdoses every year of prescription drugs?
02:09:02.000 A lot!
02:09:02.000 A lot!
02:09:03.000 How many people abuse prescription drugs?
02:09:05.000 A lot!
02:09:06.000 And alcohol!
02:09:08.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:09:09.000 Alcohol, which is one of the most destructive drugs and one of the most readily available.
02:09:13.000 And it's an essential that's open while we're keeping social distancing.
02:09:18.000 Yeah.
02:09:18.000 Alcohol.
02:09:19.000 Yeah.
02:09:19.000 So again, I ask you, tell me the difference.
02:09:22.000 So what we've done is supported a horrific criminal enterprise all over the world in all of Latin America. 1.00
02:09:28.000 And we continue to.
02:09:29.000 Yeah.
02:09:29.000 And so many innocent Mexican women and children and men and businesses and lives destroyed and so many Central American lives.
02:09:40.000 And it's just destroyed the fabric of those societies.
02:09:43.000 You're supposed to take care of this problem, and coronavirus, and the economy, and healthcare, and you're running for re-election, and North Korea, and Germany, and this, and that.
02:09:59.000 What?
02:10:00.000 All right.
02:10:00.000 I make all drugs legal.
02:10:02.000 I think that is a logical way of looking at it. 0.99
02:10:06.000 But I think that the growing pains of that would be people would lose their fucking minds at you if they lost their children during the growing pains. 0.99
02:10:16.000 And they can attribute their child overdosing on heroin because their son bought it legally and left it in the house and now someone's dead. 0.99
02:10:25.000 Sure.
02:10:26.000 And you'd have that.
02:10:27.000 And I think you'd have a lot less of that.
02:10:30.000 Eventually.
02:10:30.000 I think eventually.
02:10:31.000 I'd have a lot of this heroin would be regulated. 0.85
02:10:33.000 When you went to a store and bought heroin, just like with weed, you'd know exactly what you were getting.
02:10:37.000 You weren't getting a hot shot.
02:10:39.000 You were getting no what's the other fentanyl.
02:10:42.000 You'd know exactly what you were getting.
02:10:45.000 I'd have it.
02:10:45.000 I'd have a place you could do it if you wanted.
02:10:47.000 It'd be all kinds of stuff.
02:10:48.000 Wow.
02:10:49.000 Yeah.
02:11:12.000 Well, we would need someone to figure out, first of all, how do you have less people that are...
02:11:18.000 That's another Ed Calderon thing.
02:11:20.000 How do you have less people that are even interested in doing heroin?
02:11:24.000 Like, we've obviously done something terribly wrong if we have people that are interested in heroin.
02:11:29.000 Like, why are people willing to do drugs, like Crocodile? 0.99
02:11:33.000 You know that shit that people were shooting at their body that was making their... 1.00
02:11:36.000 That's the real problem. 0.99
02:11:37.000 In fixing it with a patch, Left or right oriented patch.
02:11:42.000 Be careful with the tip of that thing. 0.98
02:11:43.000 The knife pokes through it, stab me in the hand. 0.99
02:11:45.000 I love it so much. 0.99
02:11:46.000 That's a gift from Ed.
02:11:47.000 He's the same guy who brought me the death whistle. 0.51
02:11:49.000 I want a knife, dude.
02:11:50.000 Please give me one of these.
02:11:52.000 I want to carry this with me.
02:11:53.000 I figured out how to death whistle.
02:11:55.000 You just blow on it.
02:11:56.000 You don't have to cup it with your hands.
02:12:02.000 You're not as good as me.
02:12:06.000 I'd give it to you, but there's social distancing rules. 1.00
02:12:08.000 Give me that shit. 1.00
02:12:09.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
02:12:10.000 I was gonna say. 1.00
02:12:10.000 You can't. 1.00
02:12:11.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
02:12:12.000 People are watching. 0.99
02:12:13.000 We set a bad example.
02:12:14.000 That's true, actually.
02:12:17.000 But that's what I'm saying.
02:12:18.000 I mean, imagine someone who has to take care of each one of those things. 1.00
02:12:22.000 Yeah, it's a motherfucker. 1.00
02:12:23.000 Each one of those things is ridiculous. 1.00
02:12:25.000 A president of the homeless. 1.00
02:12:28.000 This one guy.
02:12:29.000 But we do that.
02:12:30.000 We have drug czars. 0.95
02:12:31.000 Yeah, but they don't have the kind of power that I'm going to give them.
02:12:34.000 Really?
02:12:35.000 Yeah, I'm going to give them presidential power. 0.95
02:12:37.000 I don't think one person should be able to let people out of jail and do this and move that. 0.99
02:12:41.000 What if we had one person that stays in his fucking lane? 0.99
02:12:44.000 What are you really good at? 0.99
02:12:46.000 But we have an energy secretary. 0.99
02:12:49.000 We have an education secretary.
02:12:51.000 I know, I know.
02:12:51.000 But they work in this cabinet.
02:12:52.000 What I'm saying is like a king of immigration.
02:12:56.000 This is the king.
02:12:57.000 This is the person.
02:12:59.000 The queen of immigration.
02:13:00.000 The queen of environment.
02:13:02.000 Not even the environment.
02:13:04.000 You changed the title.
02:13:05.000 Yes.
02:13:06.000 So female wins it. 1.00
02:13:07.000 So you think giving apologists more power is the answer?
02:13:10.000 Kings and queens.
02:13:11.000 Entice them into the job.
02:13:12.000 I don't like this idea.
02:13:14.000 Well, call it a president.
02:13:15.000 Call it the head of.
02:13:17.000 We do.
02:13:18.000 We have czar. 1.00
02:13:19.000 Czar is fucking a king. 1.00
02:13:20.000 But no one big guy. 1.00
02:13:21.000 Yeah, but I'm talking about...
02:13:22.000 Do you know what czar means?
02:13:23.000 It's there.
02:13:23.000 They write the budget.
02:13:25.000 They do everything.
02:13:26.000 Yeah, but doesn't Czar come from, so you have the drug Czar, you've got the education.
02:13:31.000 Czar comes from Caesar, right?
02:13:33.000 Isn't that Russian for Caesar? 0.89
02:13:34.000 The king?
02:13:35.000 Is that what it is?
02:13:35.000 It's a Russian name.
02:13:36.000 It's a dope name. 0.86
02:13:37.000 The Czar.
02:13:38.000 Anytime you can say Czar.
02:13:39.000 Czar.
02:13:39.000 C-Z-A-R. I'd love to be a Czar.
02:13:41.000 When I made a drug Czar, I was like, what?
02:13:42.000 I'll be the sex Czar. 0.97
02:13:43.000 Russian emperor. 0.97
02:13:45.000 What's that?
02:13:45.000 I know it means Russian Emperor, but I think Tsar means Caesar, doesn't it?
02:13:50.000 I think the root is...
02:13:51.000 If you had one person in this country that was autonomous, they didn't need the approval of the top president guy.
02:14:00.000 They just had a thing to solve.
02:14:02.000 They don't need his...
02:14:03.000 No, no, no, that'd be a terrible idea.
02:14:05.000 Why?
02:14:05.000 Because you have people...
02:14:06.000 For every different thing?
02:14:07.000 Well, I mean, think about an education queen. 1.00
02:14:09.000 I mean, look at Betsy DeVos. 1.00
02:14:11.000 She's got her ideas on how to run classrooms, but there's massive pushback from teachers and everybody else.
02:14:15.000 So I can fix that real easy.
02:14:18.000 Go ahead.
02:14:18.000 Which one loves Jesus?
02:14:19.000 She gets to kill people. 0.99
02:14:20.000 Now you're talking. 0.99
02:14:21.000 Which one loves Jesus?
02:14:22.000 Because that's the one I'm voting for.
02:14:23.000 All right.
02:14:23.000 I heard that argument about George W. Someone said, well, George W. is with Jesus, so I'm with George W. Wow.
02:14:29.000 Yeah, man.
02:14:30.000 There you go.
02:14:31.000 That's how you get in.
02:14:32.000 You want to be the education czar?
02:14:34.000 What do you want? 1.00
02:14:34.000 I'm teaching a bunch of fucking pagans about Zeus and shit? 1.00
02:14:37.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
02:14:38.000 That's changing. 0.99
02:14:39.000 We need our Jesus.
02:14:43.000 Technology.
02:14:44.000 All the way back, technology with the Enlightenment, as you were able to predict the movement of the planets.
02:14:50.000 That was radical.
02:14:51.000 That went, hey wait, the Bible doesn't tell us that.
02:14:54.000 This guy, Halley, Albert Halley was able to predict Halley's Comet or Newton or Copernicus or Galileo who are proving this stuff mathematically.
02:15:04.000 They were revolutionaries. 1.00
02:15:05.000 Holy fuck! 1.00
02:15:06.000 It was so outrageous, but the church was like, wait a minute, this is destroying the existence of God. 1.00
02:15:11.000 When Einstein came along and said time and space are relative depending on how fast you're moving, what?
02:15:16.000 Think about how important education is, right?
02:15:19.000 It's the most important thing.
02:15:20.000 And just giving someone tools to shape their mind.
02:15:23.000 Now think of it in terms of the prestige that you get as being just a high school teacher.
02:15:28.000 It's nothing.
02:15:29.000 It's nothing.
02:15:30.000 No one cares.
02:15:31.000 You're doing one of the most important services to a young mind.
02:15:34.000 You're teaching them.
02:15:36.000 Literally filling their minds with information.
02:15:38.000 Yeah.
02:15:40.000 Imagine if someone was in charge of education in this country who could convince everybody, who had a real philosophy and a real strategy for educating kids and talked about it in a way like, this is how we're going to make it.
02:15:55.000 We do have that.
02:15:55.000 No, no, no.
02:15:56.000 One person who's the president of education. 0.98
02:15:57.000 Goddammit, you're about this one person. 0.89
02:15:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:15:59.000 One person can't solve these problems.
02:16:00.000 We elect them.
02:16:02.000 We elect them.
02:16:02.000 It'd be a terrible idea because now you're creating a bunch of little presidents.
02:16:05.000 Who's going to be the president of education?
02:16:07.000 You need the wisdom of crowds.
02:16:09.000 Yeah, but this is the crowds.
02:16:10.000 They all get together.
02:16:11.000 Then you have to have open debate.
02:16:12.000 The president can't have all power.
02:16:13.000 What?
02:16:14.000 No, this is my new take on it.
02:16:16.000 We need dictators that are benevolent.
02:16:20.000 My god.
02:16:22.000 You're a monarchist. 1.00
02:16:23.000 You fucking monarchist. 1.00
02:16:24.000 Imagine if that's a strategy. 1.00
02:16:25.000 Joe Rogan the monarchist.
02:16:26.000 Imagine if that's what really works.
02:16:28.000 That's what used to happen.
02:16:29.000 The king had divine power.
02:16:30.000 You just have one really nice person who runs the whole thing.
02:16:34.000 One nice person.
02:16:36.000 One really nice person.
02:16:36.000 I don't believe in nice people.
02:16:37.000 I don't think they exist.
02:16:38.000 I believe human beings are...
02:16:40.000 Oh, you're nice.
02:16:40.000 But you are one of the nicest people I know.
02:16:42.000 I am a nice person.
02:16:43.000 So that doesn't make any sense.
02:16:44.000 But I'd be a terrible cop.
02:16:45.000 That's one of the reasons why I've had to kick people out of your life.
02:16:48.000 It's true.
02:16:48.000 Because I'm like, hey man.
02:16:49.000 I trust everybody and I love everybody.
02:16:51.000 You love everybody.
02:16:51.000 You let everybody in.
02:16:52.000 I got fucked over recently. 1.00
02:16:54.000 Badly. 1.00
02:16:54.000 Financially. 1.00
02:16:55.000 I know you did. 1.00
02:16:56.000 And I was like, eh, fuck it. 1.00
02:16:57.000 Dude, there's a couple of times in your life where I've had to pull you aside. 1.00
02:17:00.000 I'm like, hey fucker. 1.00
02:17:01.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:17:02.000 If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be telling you this.
02:17:04.000 Yeah.
02:17:04.000 It's time to run, son!
02:17:06.000 Yeah, it's true.
02:17:07.000 I am...
02:17:08.000 I suppose I'm...
02:17:10.000 I'd be a very bad cop because I'd be like, what happened?
02:17:13.000 Your dad hit you? 1.00
02:17:15.000 Like, what the fuck? 1.00
02:17:16.000 Alright, I'm gonna let you go, but goddammit if you do that, I'm so mad. 1.00
02:17:19.000 Don't shoot anybody else. 0.98
02:17:20.000 Promise me.
02:17:21.000 I'll let you go.
02:17:22.000 No, certain things I'd have no mercy for, though.
02:17:24.000 Of course.
02:17:25.000 Yeah, of course.
02:17:26.000 Yeah, and that's the thing, right?
02:17:27.000 There's like things that people can do where you're like, you know, child murder.
02:17:31.000 That's it.
02:17:31.000 See you later.
02:17:32.000 No coming back.
02:17:33.000 See you later.
02:17:33.000 There's things like that.
02:17:34.000 Even if I catch you with a large trove of child pornography, what am I going to do, dude?
02:17:40.000 If that's really what turns you on, I don't know what to do.
02:17:42.000 Have you seen one of the weird, you know, because progressive ideology, right, like we were talking about before, really is in some ways is a religion.
02:17:52.000 Just like conservative ideologies, it takes on some of the characteristics of a religion.
02:18:01.000 There was people predicting this, but almost in jest that one day people that are so progressive, they would look at people who are pedophiles and saying that this is just who they are.
02:18:15.000 This is their sexual programming, like how they are as a person, and we shouldn't judge them by who they are.
02:18:23.000 That's fine.
02:18:24.000 I can even...
02:18:25.000 Watch this.
02:18:26.000 I'll grant you that.
02:18:27.000 Watch this.
02:18:27.000 So let's say with like Robert Sapolsky's work or people like this who are studying this stuff.
02:18:31.000 We don't know.
02:18:33.000 We don't know.
02:18:34.000 I don't think people choose to be pedophiles.
02:18:36.000 What happens is they wake up and they go, I have this irrational attraction to children.
02:18:42.000 Okay, so you're attracted to let's say toddlers or something horrible.
02:18:45.000 Now, I grant you that your brain works this way.
02:18:50.000 I still can't have you... 1.00
02:18:52.000 If you have these impulses, I can't have you out in society, bro.
02:18:56.000 Now, if you want to volunteer for castration or if there's a way to get you to not have these urges, now we can talk.
02:19:06.000 But if I don't know how to mitigate or erase that kind of deep-seated programming, you've got to go away.
02:19:15.000 I've got to know where you are at all times.
02:19:17.000 Yeah.
02:19:20.000 Yeah.
02:19:35.000 We all are.
02:19:36.000 Now, to what degree?
02:19:37.000 If you listen to Sam Harris, Sam doesn't even believe in free will.
02:19:40.000 Sam will tell you, we have no control over the mechanics of how we make a decision.
02:19:46.000 When did it start?
02:19:47.000 I mean, what happened?
02:19:48.000 Sapolsky's book Behave is about this.
02:19:50.000 I don't know.
02:19:51.000 I still can't run a society that gives free reign to people that cause destructive harm.
02:19:58.000 You know the story about there was a guy who had a tumor in his brain.
02:20:03.000 Yeah. 0.67
02:20:03.000 And the tumor was literally turning him into a pedophile. 0.67
02:20:07.000 He has the tumor removed. 0.51
02:20:08.000 They prove it.
02:20:09.000 They prove the tumor's there.
02:20:10.000 He has the tumor removed.
02:20:11.000 All these thoughts go away.
02:20:12.000 They come back a few years later.
02:20:14.000 They do another MRI and they find out the tumor's returned.
02:20:17.000 Like, what do you do with that?
02:20:20.000 Because there's a guy like you almost...
02:20:22.000 He got sick.
02:20:24.000 He literally got sick and that sickness led to him being a criminal. 0.70
02:20:29.000 You can have a lesion on your brain the size of the head of a pin. 0.98
02:20:32.000 If it's in the right part of your brain, it will turn you into a homicidal maniac. 0.82
02:20:37.000 We know these things. 0.98
02:20:39.000 Really?
02:20:39.000 Yes.
02:20:40.000 The head of a pin?
02:20:41.000 Yes.
02:20:41.000 In fact, it's in a series of lectures in The Great Ideas of Psychology.
02:20:47.000 And it's really fascinating that you can, by Daniel Robinson or David Robinson, an amazing guy.
02:20:54.000 But yeah, and there is that case.
02:20:56.000 And there have been cases of this. 0.99
02:20:59.000 We know that there are parts of the brain when damaged can cause you to be fucking, you know, a maniac. 0.98
02:21:04.000 Imagine if they did that. 0.92
02:21:05.000 What if they did that to people?
02:21:07.000 Like if you really wanted to be the ultimate soldier and they had like a part of your brain that turns you into a berserker and they would just hit that switch.
02:21:16.000 Yeah.
02:21:17.000 Well, they say that a lot of, they do psyche evals on high-level operators.
02:21:23.000 And some of those people are able to shut off certain parts of their...
02:21:28.000 You know, they can be great fathers and husbands and brothers, and they can also shut off.
02:21:34.000 And when it's time to shut that off, everybody dies.
02:21:36.000 And they can...
02:21:37.000 It's called...
02:21:38.000 You can deviate.
02:21:39.000 It's called...
02:21:40.000 There's a term for it, like sociopath.
02:21:42.000 You can deviate into a sociopath.
02:21:44.000 You can deviate into that space and then come back.
02:21:46.000 You can make the decisions that have to be made and then come back to morality.
02:21:49.000 Yeah.
02:21:49.000 I think a lot of us can do that.
02:21:50.000 If you have an ideology, if you're protecting your homeland or whatever it might be, that's a formidable soldier who's trying to protect what he loves.
02:21:58.000 Well, and who faces the reality of the necessity of that.
02:22:02.000 Like, runs into really bad people in parts of the world that really are torturing and murdering people and making videos and putting them up on YouTube.
02:22:10.000 Like, you run into those kind of people and you actually see them in the world.
02:22:13.000 You see the damage they're doing to people in the real world. 0.99
02:22:16.000 I know a lot of soldiers who felt that way, who saw that shit, and they were like, listen, man, that's why I killed him and I slept well last night, you know? 0.99
02:22:24.000 There's something about what's going on now for all of us where there's this massive wake-up call as to the frailty of our society, how poorly we've thought out all the consequences of any sort of global pandemic or any natural disaster, how ill-prepared we are. 0.99
02:22:40.000 And this is a good opportunity to wake up and look at what we're doing and look how fucking soft we are. 0.67
02:22:47.000 Like, it's fine to be nice. 0.97
02:22:49.000 It's fine to be nice.
02:22:50.000 Well, have you noticed that now we're in this pandemic and you don't hear...
02:22:53.000 There's not a lot of talk about progressive...
02:22:56.000 No.
02:22:56.000 Ideas and equality.
02:22:58.000 Well, the real progressive ideas you're seeing from people like nurses and doctors and healthcare workers that are putting their fucking, their physical health on the line, taking care of these people and some of them are dying.
02:23:11.000 You're seeing people that are chipping in and food shelters and food kitchens and trying to feed people that are poor.
02:23:18.000 You're seeing people, there's a lot of people putting together GoFundMes.
02:23:22.000 The comedy store is putting together a fund right now to pay for the waitstaff.
02:23:25.000 There's all these different things that are happening that are people putting together that are happening organically.
02:23:30.000 This is what we want.
02:23:32.000 What we don't want is mandated Charity.
02:23:35.000 Mandated socialism.
02:23:36.000 Mandated.
02:23:37.000 And that's what people have a problem with.
02:23:38.000 Because what they're worried about is, in great times, in times that things are amazing, we're worried about people who don't want to do their share.
02:23:49.000 We're worried about people where you've created a simple, easy path for them.
02:23:53.000 And they've taken it every time and time again.
02:23:55.000 They're lazy and they don't want to do any work.
02:23:57.000 They don't. 0.97
02:23:58.000 There's people that are like that.
02:24:00.000 That's different than what we're experiencing now.
02:24:02.000 What we're experiencing now is the best case scenario for human nature in terms of the outpouring of generosity that you get from a lot of these people that are trying to help other folks that are in need.
02:24:13.000 Yeah, you're going to have some negative stories.
02:24:16.000 You're going to have that, too.
02:24:17.000 But what this really is is a wake-up call is that we've had it...
02:24:22.000 Really, really, really easy.
02:24:24.000 And because of that, we were finding things to be outraged at.
02:24:27.000 And the people that experienced real strife in their life and real difficulty, they get angry at that stuff.
02:24:33.000 And they get angry at that stuff for a reason. 0.98
02:24:35.000 Because self-indulgence is fucking dangerous. 0.83
02:24:38.000 Because it's catchy and because you tell all your friends that y'all have a good point. 0.99
02:24:43.000 The government should just fucking pay us. 0.98
02:24:45.000 We should just get paid. 0.99
02:24:46.000 Why do these billionaires have money?
02:24:47.000 There should be no billionaire.
02:24:48.000 How about good grammar being racist?
02:24:51.000 Because if you correct somebody's grammar, maybe that person didn't have the education and therefore you're being racist because maybe that person of color doesn't use the kind of grammar that's standard English. 0.75
02:25:05.000 This is a new idea too.
02:25:07.000 Yeah, there's a lot of these new ideas that people look for things to be outraged about.
02:25:11.000 Well, it's hard to get food, and again, right now, the power's still on.
02:25:14.000 Okay, right now, everything is at least three-quarters of what it was, minus the unemployment, right?
02:25:21.000 You're stuck at home, but you're with the people that you love.
02:25:23.000 You can talk to them on your phone.
02:25:25.000 You can watch Netflix. 1.00
02:25:26.000 You can do a lot of shit still. 0.99
02:25:27.000 You can't go to restaurants. 1.00
02:25:28.000 You can't go to movies.
02:25:28.000 You can't go to work, but you're kind of still around, and then you've got your financial issues.
02:25:34.000 What if it went one step further? 0.86
02:25:35.000 Do we not understand how fucking fragile this is? 0.97
02:25:37.000 What if it went one step further? 0.97
02:25:39.000 One rock from the sky slams into Chicago. 0.99
02:25:42.000 One big-ass fucking mile-wide rock slams into Chicago. 0.99
02:25:48.000 Or a volcano. 1.00
02:25:48.000 Or a volcano in Montana that won't stop bubbling. 1.00
02:25:51.000 How about that Yellowstone thing that's a giant caldera that's 300 kilometers wide or something stupid like that. 0.99
02:25:59.000 Supervolcano. 0.98
02:25:59.000 I think it's actually 600 kilometers. 0.98
02:26:01.000 That super blast would fuck us up forever. 0.99
02:26:04.000 It's huge! 0.94
02:26:04.000 How big is the caldera of Yellowstone? 0.94
02:26:07.000 Well, by the way, maybe climate change is a very real thing.
02:26:08.000 And most of us are walking around going, nah, not for us.
02:26:11.000 God will protect us.
02:26:12.000 Well, the problem with that is people weaponize the idea of arguing about climate change.
02:26:18.000 And if you even have...
02:26:20.000 A question about it, or if you even...
02:26:23.000 It's one of those things, and this is not that the experts aren't correct.
02:26:27.000 I am with the experts.
02:26:28.000 I'm with the science on it.
02:26:29.000 I'm 100% in belief that human beings are accelerating climate change.
02:26:33.000 That's not my point.
02:26:34.000 My point is, if someone even brings up, how do you know?
02:26:39.000 If you're arguing about it voraciously, right? 0.99
02:26:42.000 You're really into fucking... 0.99
02:26:44.000 Some people that... 1.00
02:26:45.000 I love arguing about climate change and they love putting you in your fucking place. 1.00
02:26:49.000 The oceans are gonna be on fire and they get crazy with it. 0.99
02:26:52.000 And if you even have a conversation, where are you getting your information from?
02:26:56.000 They don't really have a good source.
02:26:58.000 It's not like they've spent time studying these papers and looking at the trends and reading books on core samples and talking to you about these shifts and here's the problem with this shift.
02:27:07.000 This shift is different than the other ones because it's clearly CO2. I tried saying with a group of people, all I try to say is I go, I don't like Trump either, but I will say, and I was going to say, I appreciated his China policy and certain things.
02:27:19.000 I literally was met with this. 0.99
02:27:21.000 I went, I went, but I will, but, and then, oh, no, no, don't fucking, don't give me a butt on this! 1.00
02:27:25.000 You know, I'm like, Jesus Christ! 0.99
02:27:27.000 Are you that afraid of my ideas?
02:27:29.000 Well, there's a Trump thing.
02:27:30.000 Like, you either hate Trump or you love Trump.
02:27:33.000 Right.
02:27:34.000 You know, you can't say, like, I get criticized as being some sort of a closet Trump supporter because I say I think he's funny.
02:27:40.000 Yeah.
02:27:40.000 I do too.
02:27:41.000 He's funny.
02:27:41.000 He cracks me up.
02:27:42.000 We're professional comedians.
02:27:43.000 He's hilarious to me.
02:27:44.000 He's funny.
02:27:44.000 Look, how about stuff that no one even gets hurt?
02:27:47.000 The one when he took Greenland and he put a giant Trump Tower on it and he tweeted, I promise not to do this.
02:27:55.000 Yes!
02:27:55.000 He's hilarious to me.
02:27:57.000 That's funny.
02:27:57.000 That doesn't mean you're a Nazi, okay?
02:27:59.000 And I think this is going to calm some of that shit down. 0.99
02:28:01.000 This is going to give us real things to be outraged about. 0.98
02:28:04.000 And this is a wake-up call that our medical systems that we have in place to deal with pandemics, they're underfunded.
02:28:11.000 They're underfunded.
02:28:12.000 They have to be.
02:28:12.000 Or they're underutilized.
02:28:14.000 Or there's something wrong.
02:28:15.000 There's something wrong.
02:28:16.000 I don't want to say what the cause is.
02:28:17.000 I really don't know. 1.00
02:28:18.000 I'm an idiot. 1.00
02:28:19.000 Something has left us unprepared. 1.00
02:28:21.000 Okay, let's not blame anybody.
02:28:23.000 It is what it is.
02:28:23.000 No one saw this coming.
02:28:24.000 But now that we know that this can happen.
02:28:26.000 Yeah, this has never happened before.
02:28:28.000 All the years since 1776, we've never locked down the country like this.
02:28:32.000 But we did, and the whole world did. 1.00
02:28:34.000 So let's move forward with a fucking heavy emphasis on putting the brakes to that kind of shit. 1.00
02:28:40.000 Figure out what we have to do. 1.00
02:28:41.000 Is it because you only have a hundred scientists on it instead of a thousand?
02:28:45.000 Yeah.
02:28:45.000 Because let's hire 900 more.
02:28:47.000 Yeah.
02:28:47.000 Like, what are we doing?
02:28:48.000 You're spending so much money on other things.
02:28:51.000 Have a science king.
02:28:52.000 Yes.
02:28:53.000 A science king. 1.00
02:28:54.000 Let's have a fucking science king. 1.00
02:28:56.000 What's the difference between a king and a czar? 1.00
02:28:58.000 We have a tiger king.
02:28:59.000 Let's have a science king.
02:29:00.000 Yeah.
02:29:01.000 President.
02:29:01.000 Science president.
02:29:02.000 Science president.
02:29:03.000 Yes.
02:29:04.000 Everybody's a president of something.
02:29:05.000 Economic president. 0.99
02:29:06.000 And that way, when something goes wrong, you'll go, fucking, if Trump just opened the borders. 0.99
02:29:11.000 No, you're like, don't. 0.99
02:29:12.000 No, it's the border king's problem.
02:29:13.000 Yeah.
02:29:14.000 The border king says we got to keep the borders closed.
02:29:16.000 It's not Trump.
02:29:17.000 Trump doesn't get to...
02:29:18.000 It's the border king.
02:29:19.000 We have a border king. 1.00
02:29:21.000 We have a fucking drug king. 1.00
02:29:22.000 We have a sky king. 1.00
02:29:23.000 We have a sky king.
02:29:24.000 Really?
02:29:24.000 Oh, he runs the skies.
02:29:26.000 Well, it makes sure it's clean. 1.00
02:29:27.000 The guy's up there with a fucking little strip. 1.00
02:29:29.000 I like that. 1.00
02:29:30.000 Testing it every day, scooping... 1.00
02:29:31.000 Like, hey, sky king, how come the sky's still dirty, you fucking idiot? 1.00
02:29:35.000 I like that. 1.00
02:29:36.000 And you blame the sky king.
02:29:37.000 All right.
02:29:37.000 You can't blame Trump and his cronies.
02:29:39.000 You blame sky king.
02:29:40.000 I like it.
02:29:41.000 I want an elk.
02:29:42.000 You do.
02:29:43.000 You need to get one of those in your life.
02:29:44.000 You don't invite me.
02:29:46.000 Listen, you don't do it anymore.
02:29:48.000 You don't really do it.
02:29:49.000 Dude.
02:29:50.000 I'm dead-eye.
02:29:51.000 I'm game-eye.
02:29:52.000 Sweetie, I love you.
02:29:53.000 There's the level between doing what we did where you have a rifle and doing what we did.
02:29:59.000 Oh, no, you're doing bows.
02:30:01.000 It's so much work to get to the point where you can do it efficiently.
02:30:06.000 Oh, because you're doing bow hunts.
02:30:07.000 Yes.
02:30:08.000 How about I show up with a gun?
02:30:10.000 You could definitely do that if it's legal to have a gun.
02:30:13.000 The place for that for you would be Hawaii.
02:30:16.000 Really?
02:30:17.000 Yes.
02:30:17.000 Lanai.
02:30:18.000 Axis deer. 0.91
02:30:18.000 Because they have to shoot them. 0.91
02:30:20.000 You and I need to go to my friend's property in New Zealand and shoot those red flags. 0.99
02:30:23.000 I'm sure. 0.99
02:30:23.000 But they probably need to shoot those too. 0.99
02:30:26.000 They do. 1.00
02:30:26.000 They do. 1.00
02:30:27.000 They don't have any predators.
02:30:28.000 He's got five private beaches.
02:30:29.000 God, he's got some money.
02:30:30.000 Bring some wolves.
02:30:30.000 Bring some wolves to New Zealand.
02:30:32.000 Dude.
02:30:32.000 What could go wrong?
02:30:35.000 Great idea.
02:30:36.000 That's what they're doing in Colorado.
02:30:37.000 We need to go to his place. 1.00
02:30:38.000 He jet skis with fucking orcas. 1.00
02:30:40.000 He sends me video. 1.00
02:30:40.000 He's on his jet ski on his private beach, and he goes, ah, orcas under him. 1.00
02:30:43.000 The first family that gets eaten inside their tent by wolves, and that can happen and has happened in history, folks.
02:30:51.000 The first family that that ever happens to, we're all going to have a big wake-up call as to what a wolf is.
02:30:57.000 It's not that I don't love wolves.
02:30:58.000 I do love wolves.
02:31:00.000 And I went to that wolf connection, that rescue out in Palmdale.
02:31:06.000 I went to it really recently with Forrest Galante.
02:31:10.000 Did you see wolves?
02:31:11.000 Yeah, I hung out with them. 0.99
02:31:12.000 They're cool as fuck. 0.99
02:31:13.000 Pure wolves or hybrids? 1.00
02:31:14.000 Most of them are hybrids. 0.99
02:31:16.000 One of them was about as close to a pure wolf as you can get and you couldn't do a goddamn thing with them. 0.98
02:31:21.000 This guy said that one time he admonished him for a food fight and he was incorrect. 0.97
02:31:25.000 And the wolf hasn't spoken to him since.
02:31:27.000 What?
02:31:27.000 Three years ago.
02:31:28.000 The wolf's like, fuck you. 1.00
02:31:29.000 He used to be able to pet him, put him on a leash, take him out. 1.00
02:31:32.000 Now the wolf won't let him anywhere near him.
02:31:33.000 Really? 1.00
02:31:34.000 He decided the guy was a cunt three years ago. 1.00
02:31:36.000 Male wolves will challenge you. 1.00
02:31:39.000 And you know, certain animals like camels.
02:31:42.000 Camels, if they like you, you're good.
02:31:45.000 If they don't like you... 0.98
02:31:47.000 They'll piss on you, they'll spit on you, and they will grab you and bite you and throw you. 0.99
02:31:53.000 They pick you up by your neck with their teeth. 0.82
02:31:55.000 I've seen that. 1.00
02:31:56.000 Don't fuck around with a camel. 1.00
02:31:57.000 Bro, I saw a guy trying to kill a camel. 1.00
02:31:59.000 He was trying to...
02:32:01.000 There's like a certain way they kill camels for some religious food.
02:32:05.000 You can eat them. 0.95
02:32:06.000 But a certain way they kill them, you know, with a knife. 1.00
02:32:08.000 They slice their throat. 1.00
02:32:10.000 Right.
02:32:10.000 And he was doing that, and this camel was not having it.
02:32:12.000 And he grabs him by the back of the neck and just fucking whips him through the air. 0.97
02:32:15.000 You realize how strong a camel is? 0.99
02:32:17.000 Oh, yeah.
02:32:18.000 It bites your neck. 0.66
02:32:19.000 You're a 150-pound man.
02:32:20.000 You're going flying.
02:32:21.000 You're going flying, dude.
02:32:22.000 He'll chuck you.
02:32:23.000 He'll chuck you like you throw a house cat. 0.93
02:32:26.000 Bourdain ate camel.
02:32:27.000 He said it was really good.
02:32:28.000 So did I. Did you eat it?
02:32:29.000 Yeah.
02:32:30.000 What is it like?
02:32:31.000 Delicious.
02:32:31.000 What does it taste like?
02:32:32.000 It's like...
02:32:34.000 Goat, you know, I guess.
02:32:35.000 A lot of times in Saudi Arabia, you would eat a camel.
02:32:38.000 In huge feasts, you'd put a goat inside the camel.
02:32:41.000 Wow.
02:32:41.000 Oh, here's one.
02:32:42.000 This guy's trying to slice.
02:32:43.000 Yeah, this is another one.
02:32:45.000 Okay, yeah, right there.
02:32:46.000 Look at that guy.
02:32:48.000 Boom, son.
02:32:50.000 That thing picked him up by his head.
02:32:53.000 He got his whole head in there.
02:32:54.000 Look at that.
02:32:54.000 Yikes.
02:32:55.000 That's his whole head.
02:32:56.000 Oh my god, that wasn't even just the neck.
02:32:58.000 That thing grabbed his whole head. 1.00
02:32:59.000 He's gotta be fucked up. 1.00
02:33:01.000 Bro, he might be paralyzed. 1.00
02:33:02.000 Yeah.
02:33:03.000 Now he's moving, thank god.
02:33:04.000 Look at that. 0.99
02:33:05.000 God damn it just grabbed his whole head. 0.99
02:33:07.000 It picked him up by his head. 1.00
02:33:09.000 Yeah, no.
02:33:10.000 Dude, that could easily break your neck. 1.00
02:33:11.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
02:33:12.000 Especially if it didn't let go. 1.00
02:33:14.000 What if it shook him?
02:33:15.000 Yeah, that'd be a bad situation.
02:33:16.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:33:17.000 Or you would just held onto the head and shook him a bunch of times?
02:33:20.000 That thing is mean. 1.00
02:33:21.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00
02:33:22.000 Yeah, don't fuck with camels. 1.00
02:33:24.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:33:25.000 So it's like a goat.
02:33:26.000 It's a lot of meat.
02:33:28.000 It's a lot of meat.
02:33:29.000 How many people ate that camel?
02:33:29.000 I don't remember.
02:33:30.000 I was a kid, by the way.
02:33:30.000 I was 14, 13 when I ate it.
02:33:32.000 So I'm saying goat, but I don't remember.
02:33:34.000 They eat with their hands, right?
02:33:34.000 Eat with your right hand?
02:33:35.000 Yes.
02:33:36.000 You do everything with your right hand. 1.00
02:33:37.000 And you wash your ass with your left hand. 1.00
02:33:39.000 You do your dirty things with your left hand. 1.00
02:33:40.000 You never give anybody your left hand a shake.
02:33:41.000 So when you're caught stealing, traditionally, they would cut off your...
02:33:44.000 Right hand.
02:33:45.000 Oh my God.
02:33:45.000 So you have to be the last one to wait.
02:33:48.000 In the goat crab, you'd be the last one to eat.
02:33:50.000 Oh my God.
02:33:51.000 So you'd have what was left over.
02:33:53.000 Oh my God.
02:33:54.000 Yeah.
02:33:55.000 What do you do then? 1.00
02:33:55.000 Just kill the guy? 1.00
02:33:56.000 Like, why do you want to live like this? 1.00
02:33:58.000 No, you live with one hand.
02:33:59.000 It's fine.
02:34:00.000 Figure it out.
02:34:02.000 You know.
02:34:03.000 I don't think we got to the bottom of anything, Brian Callan, but it feels good to complain.
02:34:06.000 I agree, buddy.
02:34:07.000 I love being here.
02:34:08.000 What else?
02:34:09.000 I think that's good.
02:34:11.000 I think we're three hours in.
02:34:13.000 We're three hours in.
02:34:14.000 God, that goes quickly. 1.00
02:34:15.000 Fuck, I can't believe that. 1.00
02:34:16.000 Yeah, we are. 1.00
02:34:18.000 Jesus.
02:34:19.000 I'm joking around, obviously, about the kings.
02:34:23.000 I have a king of everything.
02:34:24.000 I'm joking around about it, obviously.
02:34:26.000 But it is kind of ridiculous that we ever think that one person could be the president and run this whole country. 1.00
02:34:31.000 It's so stupid. 1.00
02:34:32.000 It's so stupid and it's so tired. 1.00
02:34:35.000 And when something happens where it's really clear that this wasn't thought out correctly, like this, and that we didn't know what was coming, like this, that we didn't ever think, because it's never happened before. 0.99
02:34:47.000 If something's never happened before, we always think it's not going to happen, whether it's a super volcano or an asteroid impact or this.
02:34:53.000 Well, that's the thing.
02:34:54.000 That's the thing.
02:34:55.000 That's what it's got me thinking.
02:34:58.000 It hasn't happened throughout my life.
02:35:00.000 I'm not prepped.
02:35:00.000 I'm not prepped enough, and I need to get prepped for real.
02:35:02.000 We all should be.
02:35:03.000 We keep talking about going somewhere, and I'm not bullshitting about that.
02:35:07.000 How about a place we can drive to in a short time, though?
02:35:11.000 You could drive to Utah in 10 hours.
02:35:13.000 Really?
02:35:13.000 Yeah.
02:35:14.000 Yeah, that's not a bad one.
02:35:16.000 Or Vegas.
02:35:16.000 You just camp out in Vegas.
02:35:18.000 I like the idea of somewhere up in the hills in California.
02:35:21.000 Where?
02:35:21.000 Where are you going to go?
02:35:23.000 Enough where I can get a well and lots of guns.
02:35:25.000 Maybe you can go to Big Bear.
02:35:28.000 Interesting.
02:35:29.000 Maybe go to Big Bear.
02:35:30.000 Then they would shut those roads off.
02:35:31.000 That's what I worry about.
02:35:32.000 That's right. 1.00
02:35:32.000 And you're fucked. 1.00
02:35:33.000 You've got to be up there stuck. 1.00
02:35:34.000 Still stuck.
02:35:35.000 We're still relying on the highway system.
02:35:36.000 Well, they shut those roads off sometimes unless when it snows out, you have to have chains.
02:35:41.000 Like, you have to have chains if you're driving up there.
02:35:44.000 Yeah, it's a problem.
02:35:45.000 Yeah, whenever you see those roads to Big Bear that say you must put chains on your tires.
02:35:50.000 Bill Burr can drive a helicopter.
02:35:52.000 He can fly a helicopter.
02:35:53.000 That's right.
02:35:53.000 So Bill will be our go-to guy.
02:35:55.000 He can.
02:35:56.000 We need a boat to get out in the sea.
02:35:58.000 But we're assuming we'll have good visibility. 0.99
02:36:00.000 The problem with the helicopter thing is if it's fires, if there's fires, you ain't seeing shit. 0.97
02:36:04.000 If it's fires, we'll figure it out. 0.97
02:36:06.000 If it's a pandemic again.
02:36:07.000 Oh, who's to you? 1.00
02:36:08.000 We need the fucking fire president. 1.00
02:36:10.000 That's what we need. 1.00
02:36:10.000 Well, but get the fire president. 1.00
02:36:11.000 You can't say we'll figure it out.
02:36:12.000 We need a rock-solid game plan.
02:36:14.000 We call a fire president who hates fire.
02:36:16.000 We have to have a guy who hates fire.
02:36:17.000 He hates it. 0.99
02:36:18.000 Fucking hates fire. 1.00
02:36:19.000 Who eats raw food. 1.00
02:36:20.000 Who eats raw food.
02:36:23.000 Do you know that's a thing?
02:36:24.000 I know a lawyer who defends a kid who starts fires, dresses up like a fireman, and diverts traffic, and they catch him all the time, and he has to go and be like, The kid's obviously crazy. 0.93
02:36:41.000 He's a sociopath.
02:36:42.000 He gets off on creating these issues. 0.58
02:36:44.000 But he loves being a fireman, so he'll start fires.
02:36:46.000 He's done this 11 times since he was a little kid.
02:36:49.000 And now he's an adult.
02:36:51.000 I think he's in jail now.
02:36:53.000 He dresses up like a fireman and he likes to divert traffic and tell people where to go and give them advice.
02:36:59.000 Now imagine you have to fix that guy.
02:37:02.000 Imagine he's homeless, you gotta fix him.
02:37:04.000 You gotta go to jail.
02:37:04.000 You got a homeless guy who lights houses on fire and pretends it's a fireman.
02:37:08.000 He's so far gone.
02:37:09.000 You gotta go to jail.
02:37:10.000 What do you do?
02:37:11.000 But you keep him in there forever? 0.99
02:37:13.000 Let him out one day, they're gonna be more fucked up than they were before you put him in. 0.99
02:37:16.000 You make the jail for crazy people much more pleasant. 0.99
02:37:18.000 Make him pleasant. 0.97
02:37:19.000 Just keep him there.
02:37:19.000 Keep him in the pleasant jail?
02:37:20.000 Yeah.
02:37:21.000 Keep him pleasant though.
02:37:22.000 Forever.
02:37:23.000 I don't know.
02:37:24.000 Until I find a way to get him...
02:37:26.000 Until he can exhibit that he is fit to go back to society.
02:37:29.000 Did you ever see One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?
02:37:31.000 Yes.
02:37:31.000 How come they don't have places like that anymore?
02:37:33.000 One of the greatest movies of all time.
02:37:34.000 Do they have places like that anymore?
02:37:36.000 You come in, you come out.
02:37:38.000 How many of them do they have?
02:37:39.000 Do they have enough?
02:37:40.000 I don't know.
02:37:41.000 Seems like we should have more.
02:37:42.000 We have mental, we have hospitals for the criminally insane, hospitals for, you know.
02:37:46.000 Right, but do we have enough?
02:37:47.000 Because I think it's almost like the same amount of hospitals that we have regular.
02:37:52.000 Peter earlier wrote a book called Crazy.
02:37:54.000 His son suffers from mental illness. 0.76
02:37:56.000 And what we do with most of our mentally ill is we put them in jail. 0.98
02:37:59.000 And I've been to those aquariums that they keep people in.
02:38:02.000 It's bad. 0.99
02:38:03.000 That's where it's fucked up, too. 1.00
02:38:04.000 It's like, you're also, because you're crazy, you're also committing crimes. 0.99
02:38:09.000 And you maybe could have been treated for whatever the mental illness was, particularly if it's a chemical imbalance, right? 0.98
02:38:15.000 Yeah.
02:38:15.000 And then you would have never done those crimes, and then you would have never been in jail.
02:38:19.000 Yeah.
02:38:20.000 But I mean, who's responsible for it?
02:38:22.000 Ultimately, we want adults to be responsible for themselves.
02:38:25.000 Yeah, well, this guy said, Joe Newman again, who wrote Raising Lions, I recommend it highly.
02:38:30.000 He said, I'm training parents a lot of times.
02:38:32.000 You used to think I was training the kids.
02:38:33.000 A lot of times I'm training the parents and the educators on how to...
02:38:40.000 He's enjoying the frustration and the social status he gets.
02:38:45.000 He creates frustration in the adult and gets social status from doing this.
02:38:49.000 I can make it very boring for him.
02:38:51.000 I'll make it very boring for him.
02:38:52.000 Without interest, just go, hey, time to take a break.
02:38:55.000 You've got to stand over there. 0.99
02:38:55.000 I know it sucks. 0.99
02:38:57.000 But you can throw a tantrum, but the time starts for when you're done with the tantrum. 0.97
02:39:01.000 Little things like that.
02:39:02.000 Huge results.
02:39:03.000 Just take the profit out of that kind of thing.
02:39:05.000 You're saying this genius tells you to put them in timeout?
02:39:08.000 Timeout, but it's a very specific way of doing it.
02:39:10.000 It's hilarious.
02:39:10.000 What's his solution?
02:39:11.000 Kids got to go to timeout.
02:39:13.000 Everybody.
02:39:14.000 Well, you get these kids who freak out.
02:39:15.000 They have to be put in isolation.
02:39:16.000 You argue with them.
02:39:17.000 No, no, no.
02:39:17.000 That's part of the president's problem.
02:39:19.000 Yeah.
02:39:19.000 So you can't put him in timeout.
02:39:20.000 That's probably true.
02:39:22.000 If there was like, Nancy Pelosi had like a few timeouts per year, and she could just use it on Trump, and Trump would just have to stand in the corner and not talk? 0.89
02:39:28.000 Well, we'll take your phone away.
02:39:30.000 We'll take your phone away, no tweeting.
02:39:31.000 No, no, no, no, no. 0.99
02:39:32.000 No, a fucking legit timeout. 0.99
02:39:34.000 Nancy Pelosi- You stand in the corner. 0.99
02:39:36.000 She's the kind of person that would put all of us in timeout.
02:39:38.000 She's a mom.
02:39:40.000 But- If she could do that.
02:39:42.000 Yeah.
02:39:43.000 Imagine how interesting that would be.
02:39:45.000 She'd go like this.
02:39:46.000 Donald, Donald, why don't we take a break?
02:39:48.000 Go over there.
02:39:49.000 Yeah.
02:39:49.000 You're going to go over to the boarding chair.
02:39:51.000 If there was things that a person could do where you had to put them in timeout, you and I would be in timeout a lot.
02:39:57.000 How often would you be in timeout per year?
02:39:59.000 As a kid?
02:40:00.000 Right now, as an adult.
02:40:02.000 If they had timeout still.
02:40:03.000 I need a lot of timeout.
02:40:07.000 No, but there's a thing.
02:40:08.000 At a certain point in time, you become the master of your own destiny.
02:40:11.000 Nobody can put you in a timeout anymore unless you're at work and you get brought in.
02:40:14.000 I need timeouts because I'll find ways to procrastinate and not do the things I'm supposed to do.
02:40:20.000 Can you imagine if you had a boss at the podcast and they sat you and Brendan down and were talking about your job performance?
02:40:25.000 I'd have a problem with it.
02:40:27.000 They do that with radio shows.
02:40:29.000 That's what radio shows are.
02:40:30.000 They're like basically a podcast but with a boss.
02:40:33.000 I know.
02:40:34.000 I know.
02:40:34.000 You know Kevin and Bean?
02:40:36.000 You know those guys?
02:40:36.000 I love Kevin.
02:40:37.000 You know Kevin, they just fired them?
02:40:39.000 I didn't know they fired Kevin.
02:40:40.000 I thought Kevin kind of voluntarily...
02:40:42.000 No, no, no.
02:40:42.000 No, they fired him and then they fired everybody and then just told them they're done.
02:40:46.000 Go home.
02:40:47.000 And they had security guards lead them out of the building.
02:40:51.000 Even Kevin?
02:40:52.000 Yes, Kevin.
02:40:53.000 I didn't know Kevin got fired.
02:40:54.000 Yeah, Kevin got fired.
02:40:55.000 That's very recent.
02:40:55.000 Well, Bean left like a year ago.
02:40:57.000 I know.
02:40:58.000 And then Kevin stayed on.
02:40:59.000 Yeah.
02:41:00.000 And K-Rock, Jimmy Kimmel made a tweet about it.
02:41:02.000 Like, how dare you?
02:41:03.000 I just did, Kevin.
02:41:04.000 I mean, I loved you.
02:41:05.000 Yeah, I love Kevin.
02:41:06.000 Well, it's been Kevin's morning show for like...
02:41:09.000 Since, I think, January.
02:41:11.000 Kevin, who's the woman? 0.96
02:41:13.000 Marla?
02:41:15.000 Sorry, I forgot her name. 1.00
02:41:16.000 I'm such an asshole. 1.00
02:41:17.000 And Dave. 1.00
02:41:18.000 But they're both great.
02:41:19.000 They just fired everybody.
02:41:21.000 What?
02:41:21.000 Yeah.
02:41:22.000 That's crazy.
02:41:23.000 So there's no more Kevin?
02:41:24.000 No.
02:41:25.000 I think it probably happened, I mean, I don't know if it had anything to do with the corona, but it was like when it was kicking in.
02:41:32.000 Jesus.
02:41:32.000 Like when everyone was starting to worry about COVID-19.
02:41:35.000 Damn. 0.99
02:41:36.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:41:36.000 I'm very, very worried about just what's going to happen to all these small businesses. 0.99
02:41:40.000 I don't know how much longer we can sustain this.
02:41:43.000 It's terrible.
02:41:43.000 That's terrible.
02:41:44.000 We need a plan.
02:41:45.000 Is there any good news on this?
02:41:47.000 How about this hydrochloroquine with azithromycin?
02:41:52.000 Does that actually help with...
02:41:54.000 Sorry, guys.
02:41:54.000 I'm a doctor.
02:41:55.000 Does that help with...
02:41:56.000 I read about that, and I read that there's some promise to that, and I read that there's that in a combination of some other medication.
02:42:07.000 So it's essentially this drug that they use to treat malaria.
02:42:11.000 It's an old-school drug to treat malaria.
02:42:13.000 It's hydrochloroquine.
02:42:15.000 And then they're doing something else with it.
02:42:18.000 Yeah, so it's hydroxychloroquine.
02:42:21.000 It used to be quinine.
02:42:22.000 Now it's different.
02:42:23.000 That didn't work for malaria anymore.
02:42:26.000 So there's that, and you combine that with azithromycin, like a Z-Pak. 1.00
02:42:31.000 I guess.
02:42:31.000 And so those two things apparently mitigate the effects of the virus from what I heard.
02:42:37.000 But then I heard no.
02:42:39.000 So I don't know. 0.99
02:42:40.000 Yeah, I mean, who the fuck knows? 0.97
02:42:42.000 There's also intravenous vitamin C apparently has an effect, a positive effect on people that are suffering from the illness. 0.98
02:42:50.000 But again, this is all anecdotal.
02:42:52.000 They don't have like a real strict protocol of how you handle this disease.
02:42:56.000 It's very easy to catch.
02:42:57.000 It's a new disease.
02:42:58.000 I haven't been as good as I should be.
02:43:01.000 I eat food that's prepared by people.
02:43:03.000 Yeah, you never know.
02:43:05.000 You never know.
02:43:06.000 They didn't know before the Carnival Cruise Line thing that it could stay on surfaces as long as 17 days.
02:43:12.000 Well, I heard nine hours.
02:43:14.000 It depends on if it's...
02:43:15.000 No, no, no, no.
02:43:16.000 This is the latest.
02:43:17.000 17 days?
02:43:18.000 The people that are examining the cruise ship are the people that are stuck on it.
02:43:21.000 Even people that are asymptomatic. 1.00
02:43:22.000 They still found traces of this shit 17 days later in their cabins. 1.00
02:43:27.000 Well, guess what? 1.00
02:43:28.000 I'm done.
02:43:29.000 How crazy is that?
02:43:30.000 Asymptomatic people, and you can find the stuff in their cabin, 17 days later it's still alive waiting for a host.
02:43:36.000 I don't think Chris Alia has left his house.
02:43:39.000 Is he a germaphobe?
02:43:40.000 I just...
02:43:41.000 He's just not left his house.
02:43:42.000 Well, he also has a new baby.
02:43:43.000 Yeah.
02:43:43.000 You know?
02:43:44.000 But, you know, you get something delivered from Amazon.
02:43:46.000 You don't know what happened.
02:43:48.000 Yeah.
02:43:48.000 He lives on surfaces.
02:43:49.000 Yeah.
02:43:50.000 Disinfect it.
02:43:51.000 Disinfect the world.
02:43:52.000 All right, buddy.
02:43:53.000 Let's wrap it up, Brian Callen.
02:43:55.000 Thank you, buddy, for having me.
02:43:56.000 Is Will Sasso trying to pussy out of the 10-minute podcast? 0.76
02:43:58.000 I heard he is.
02:43:59.000 We're going to do the 10...
02:44:00.000 For all you 10-minute podcast lovers, me, Chris Lee, and Will Sasso.
02:44:04.000 I heard Sasso is...
02:44:05.000 We're rebooting it.
02:44:06.000 ...getting very sassy with you.
02:44:07.000 He gets sassy with me.
02:44:08.000 He just sends me pictures of bears eating like fish and deer.
02:44:13.000 He just sends me pictures.
02:44:14.000 What he's going to do to you.
02:44:14.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
02:44:15.000 See, that guy has the biggest calves I've ever seen in my life. 0.99
02:44:18.000 He's the funniest fucking human being. 0.98
02:44:19.000 Have you ever had him on the podcast? 0.99
02:44:20.000 No, I'd love to have him on. 1.00
02:44:22.000 Oh, fuck, he's a genius. 1.00
02:44:23.000 I love him. 1.00
02:44:23.000 He's hilarious. 1.00
02:44:24.000 Oh my God, he's coming out.
02:44:25.000 He's fun to hang out with, too.
02:44:26.000 Remember when we all hung out together?
02:44:27.000 He's the best.
02:44:29.000 Will Sasso, to me, funniest human being, maybe of all time, and coming out in a movie called Boss Level.
02:44:36.000 Each one of his calves are two of Arnold Schwarzenegger's shoulders.
02:44:39.000 Oh, dude, he's so big and strong.
02:44:41.000 But it's his calves!
02:44:42.000 Oh, yeah.
02:44:42.000 They're that big!
02:44:43.000 They're so big!
02:44:44.000 Yeah, they're bullharts.
02:44:47.000 They're bullharts.
02:44:48.000 I call them bullharts. 1.00
02:44:49.000 They're so big. 1.00
02:44:50.000 He's got two bullharts in his fucking lower legs. 0.99
02:44:52.000 I remember you telling me that, and then me seeing them, like, what is going on? 0.99
02:44:55.000 Well, there's a picture on the internet of my head next to his calf, and my head is, my calf and head, we're the same size.
02:45:01.000 My head is the same size as his calf, and I'm not kidding. 0.98
02:45:03.000 It's the weirdest shit I've ever seen. 0.99
02:45:05.000 Congratulations on your operator status. 0.99
02:45:07.000 Thanks, buddy.
02:45:08.000 You saw the way I squeezed off those rounds.
02:45:09.000 I did.
02:45:10.000 Guys, we want to laugh right now.
02:45:12.000 Complicated apes on Amazon, huh?
02:45:13.000 It is.
02:45:13.000 Look at his calves.
02:45:14.000 That is so crazy. 1.00
02:45:15.000 Look at the size of his fucking calf. 1.00
02:45:18.000 Dude, that is so ridiculous. 1.00
02:45:19.000 He was a power lifter. 1.00
02:45:20.000 I think he had some record. 0.99
02:45:22.000 Dude, those things are ridiculous. 0.96
02:45:24.000 Look at that one up there. 0.99
02:45:25.000 Who's that?
02:45:26.000 Was that another guy?
02:45:27.000 That's him.
02:45:28.000 No, that's Sasso.
02:45:29.000 Is that Sasso?
02:45:30.000 Yes!
02:45:31.000 Jesus Christ!
02:45:32.000 Those are bull hearts.
02:45:33.000 Bro, those are so big.
02:45:34.000 Look where they're considered on the bone.
02:45:36.000 Wow.
02:45:37.000 That's real?
02:45:38.000 Yes. 1.00
02:45:39.000 Goddamn. 0.99
02:45:39.000 That looks like Arnold in his prime, right? 0.99
02:45:43.000 What does those look like?
02:45:44.000 When he would pose?
02:45:46.000 You ever seen him?
02:45:47.000 Where is that?
02:45:47.000 Let me see his Instagram for a sec.
02:45:50.000 You've got a lot of pictures with your face next to his calf.
02:45:53.000 That's very odd.
02:45:54.000 You're wearing different shirts.
02:45:56.000 Bring his Instagram up.
02:45:58.000 I want to see something.
02:46:01.000 It cracks me up.
02:46:04.000 Why is he dressing like a woman? 1.00
02:46:07.000 Why does he have a video with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
02:46:09.000 Is he mocking him?
02:46:09.000 I don't know.
02:46:14.000 Brian, this is an audio podcast as well.
02:46:16.000 Oh, sorry.
02:46:17.000 We just go down, scroll.
02:46:19.000 Never mind.
02:46:19.000 Forget it.
02:46:21.000 He's just got so many funny fucking things. 0.99
02:46:22.000 Is it just Will Sasso? 0.99
02:46:24.000 Yeah.
02:46:24.000 What is his...
02:46:25.000 Yeah, Will Sasso. 0.99
02:46:26.000 He's the fucking best. 0.99
02:46:29.000 He's on a boat. 1.00
02:46:30.000 He's just standing on a boat and he just goes, I'm fucking seaworthy as fuck! 1.00
02:46:39.000 He's a silly boy. 1.00
02:46:40.000 Oh, he's fucking hilarious. 1.00
02:46:41.000 So are you. 0.97
02:46:42.000 All right, love you, buddy.
02:46:42.000 It was fun hanging out with you all day today.
02:46:44.000 We had a great time.
02:46:45.000 We had to do this more often.
02:46:46.000 I can't wait.
02:46:46.000 That's one thing that I'm getting out of this more.
02:46:49.000 I'm really appreciating friends. 1.00
02:46:51.000 Fuck yes. 1.00
02:46:53.000 When the shit gets weird, that's what you really need. 1.00
02:46:55.000 You really need friends. 0.99
02:46:56.000 You're damn right.
02:46:56.000 All right, love you people.
02:46:57.000 Bye, everybody.
02:46:58.000 See ya. 0.99
02:46:59.000 That was fucking great. 0.99
02:47:00.000 That was great. 1.00