The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #147

00:00:02.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.

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00:00:38.000 Duncan Trussell, you on the Alphabrain?

00:00:40.000 Oh, not anymore.

00:00:41.000 They're gone.

00:00:42.000 I'm out.

00:00:42.000 Oh, I got more for you, baby.

00:00:44.000 Hit the drums.

00:00:45.000 Duncan's here.

00:00:46.000 Let the party begin.

00:00:48.000 Release the hounds.

00:00:49.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:51.000 Kermit Cain, explain yourself.

00:00:53.000 Yeah, baby.

00:01:03.000 the That was a quick fade there.

00:01:07.000 What are you doing there, fella?

00:01:07.000 Scared me.

00:01:08.000 Scared me with your tricky work on the sound.

00:01:12.000 Duncan Trestle's here, folks.

00:01:13.000 Hello.

00:01:14.000 And whenever Duncan Trestle's here, shit gets weird.

00:01:18.000 That's your realm, bro.

00:01:20.000 You're the king of weird shit.

00:01:22.000 Speaking of weird shit, it's odd that they call the Fleshlight a sex toy.

00:01:28.000 Toy is the wrong word for what that is.

00:01:31.000 That's a tool, not a toy.

00:01:34.000 A toy makes it seem like you would sit and G.I. Joes would play on top of it or something.

00:01:40.000 Well, it's a toy, I think, because of the fact that it's silly.

00:01:43.000 You can't help but laugh at it.

00:01:45.000 I guess you play with it.

00:01:47.000 It's like a less offensive way of describing what it really is.

00:01:52.000 Something you fuck.

00:01:54.000 Imagine if it just said that.

00:01:55.000 The fleshlight.

00:01:56.000 Something you fuck.

00:01:57.000 That'd be great.

00:01:58.000 Just call it that.

00:01:59.000 It's a million times better than a sex toy.

00:02:01.000 That's like a John Wayne Gacy term.

00:02:03.000 You kids want to play with my sex toys in the basement?

00:02:08.000 Do you know they sell sex toys at Target now?

00:02:11.000 They do?

00:02:12.000 Yeah, they have all these new companies, or not new companies, like condom companies are now getting into vibrators, and they have vibrators now at Target, and it's called personal massage units or something, but it's just vibrators at Target.

00:02:27.000 Really?

00:02:28.000 Yeah.

00:02:28.000 But they have to pretend it's for something else.

00:02:30.000 They have to show the girl rubbing her face with it.

00:02:32.000 It's so repressed.

00:02:33.000 My temples are so strange.

00:02:35.000 Big fucking rubber dick.

00:02:36.000 Such a repressed society.

00:02:38.000 So fucking repressed that they got to call it a personal massage or they can't say a fuck tool.

00:02:44.000 And you got to call it a toy.

00:02:46.000 And the other weird thing about it is if you want to talk about sex, you have to say, well, it's adult entertainment.

00:02:51.000 Like, what's that?

00:02:53.000 Yeah, what does that even mean?

00:02:54.000 Adult entertainment.

00:02:55.000 That makes you think you're going to be watching a symphony, not like fucking butt plugs.

00:03:00.000 Do you think that all this repression when it comes to sexuality is a direct result of overpopulation?

00:03:05.000 Is that what it is?

00:03:06.000 Is it like we feel overpopulated and we're trying to slow down?

00:03:10.000 Yeah.

00:03:11.000 No, I've never thought that.

00:03:12.000 I think it's all based on the fundamentalists of all religions.

00:03:20.000 Right, but where's their urge from, this urge to control sexuality?

00:03:24.000 What is the root of it?

00:03:25.000 S&M. It's a form of S&M. You know that joke you do about...

00:03:31.000 That joke you do about the priest sitting in the confession booth with this tiny little hole as they listen to people tell their darkest secrets?

00:03:42.000 That's us and them.

00:03:43.000 That could be in a sex club.

00:03:45.000 If there was no confession booths, that would probably be a thing where it's like, yeah, go in the secret booth, man.

00:03:50.000 People tell you really dirty things and you can't jerk off.

00:03:54.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:03:55.000 That must be so hot for them when they hear really crazy stories.

00:04:00.000 It's erotic, dude.

00:04:01.000 It's really sexy.

00:04:02.000 You know there's guys in the booth being like, man, I put my fingers in her pussy and then she wanted me to fist her pussy.

00:04:10.000 Go on, my son.

00:04:12.000 And I was just pumping and pumping.

00:04:14.000 And, Father, she squirted.

00:04:16.000 She squirted, Father.

00:04:18.000 You haven't had sex.

00:04:19.000 This is a guy who has theoretically not had sex in years.

00:04:23.000 Listening to like...

00:04:24.000 Never, maybe.

00:04:24.000 Yeah.

00:04:25.000 But they have.

00:04:26.000 I mean, they have.

00:04:27.000 At least they have nocturnal emissions.

00:04:29.000 They come at night in their sleep.

00:04:31.000 Priests are always blasting jizz at night.

00:04:34.000 Isn't it ridiculous that after all we know in 2011 that people...

00:04:42.000 Not even just that anybody would do that, but that anyone would at all take anybody willing to do that seriously and not think they're fucking crazy.

00:04:52.000 When you see the Pope having an interview, sitting down with great heads of states and politicians and kings and queens from around the world, you're looking at this guy like, this is...

00:05:03.000 This guy's wearing a fucking superhero outfit.

00:05:07.000 He's wearing some crazy Jesus superhero outfit on, and he's a fucking cult leader, and he's getting to talk to presidents.

00:05:16.000 If Catholicism was new, if it just came out, if someone just invented it, You would for sure make fun of it, and for sure it would be labeled a cult.

00:05:27.000 No different than the Moonies, no different than the Hare Krishnas, no different than any other new ideology that tries to get introduced into our system.

00:05:36.000 But Catholicism is one of the weirdest ones, man.

00:05:40.000 As someone who grew up in it, you know, someone's just been around those churches and the stained glass windows and everything is dark and no one is fucking happy.

00:05:49.000 But how about the transubstantiation of the communion wafer where they believe that they convert the communion wafer into the flesh of Jesus?

00:05:55.000 Yeah, what?

00:05:57.000 It's not a symbol.

00:05:59.000 I've heard that they really truly believe when they do their whatever the spell is over the crisp that it turns into Jesus' skin and then they're breaking up the flesh of Jesus and consuming the flesh of the man-god.

00:06:15.000 The only people who are really into Catholics are dudes who are fighting off the gay And a lot of old women.

00:06:22.000 A lot of old women get really...

00:06:24.000 Old men are like, get the fuck out of here with this.

00:06:26.000 Most old Catholics that I knew...

00:06:27.000 You know, I had the joke about Catholic suicide bombers.

00:06:30.000 You'll never see a Catholic suicide bomber because none of us believe in it that much.

00:06:33.000 Right, yeah.

00:06:35.000 Catholicism is like, hmm, fuck it, you never know religion.

00:06:37.000 It might be real, but, you know, just don't count on this.

00:06:41.000 But old women, old women.

00:06:42.000 And dudes fighting off the gay.

00:06:44.000 Dudes fighting off the gay, man.

00:06:45.000 They dive into the fucking Lord's word.

00:06:47.000 When I was in high school, there was this poor kid who wanted to be a priest, and he was just fighting off the cock just every day.

00:06:53.000 He was like this space shuttle reentering orbit with leaky tiles.

00:06:58.000 Just fighting off the urge, just diving on the cock.

00:07:02.000 He was so gay, and he was a really religious man.

00:07:05.000 I think he became a priest.

00:07:06.000 Please, God, keep cocks out of my mouth today.

00:07:11.000 Yeah.

00:07:12.000 I was reading about this fucking crazy story where there's a lesbian couple and they have a son.

00:07:18.000 The son is 11 years old and they want to block his hormones because he says that he's a girl and he wants to be a girl.

00:07:27.000 So they want him to be positioned for gender reassignment at 11 years old.

00:07:34.000 He's making his decisions.

00:07:35.000 And his name is Tommy, but they say that he only refers to Tammy.

00:07:39.000 He calls himself Tammy.

00:07:40.000 He dresses and dresses and he wants to be a girl.

00:07:43.000 Jesus, poor kid.

00:07:45.000 Yeah, what happened there?

00:07:46.000 Do you think the kid is...

00:07:47.000 Is that an emotional thing?

00:07:50.000 Is that a physiological thing?

00:07:52.000 Does anybody have that nailed?

00:07:54.000 Like why people wish that they were another sex?

00:07:56.000 I guarantee that it's not like just a decision for an 11...

00:08:00.000 No 11-year-old is gonna like put themselves through turning into a...

00:08:03.000 He wasn't just like, this is gonna be interesting.

00:08:05.000 I think I'm trying to be a girl.

00:08:06.000 Well, according to the parents, he had done that since he was a baby baby.

00:08:10.000 It's physiological.

00:08:12.000 So you think it's just some wacky coincidence that this is happening in the presence of this lesbian couple that's raising him.

00:08:20.000 Because this is where the real argument comes in about sociology versus physiology, like what exactly causes certain behavior.

00:08:27.000 Certain wants and inclinations.

00:08:29.000 I don't know.

00:08:30.000 I mean, I'm no expert, but I know that people are real uncomfortable when they hear that a lesbian couple has a boy that they adopted and that this boy is being considered for gender reassignment to become a woman at 11. You want to go like, wow, okay, what are you guys like?

00:08:48.000 Can I sit down and talk to you?

00:08:50.000 How do you feel about men?

00:08:52.000 Do you fucking hate them?

00:08:53.000 Do you talk shit about them all day?

00:08:55.000 So you think to please his mommies?

00:08:57.000 I don't know.

00:08:57.000 I don't think that.

00:08:59.000 I definitely don't think that.

00:09:00.000 I don't have an opinion.

00:09:01.000 I have no opinion.

00:09:03.000 Honestly, I just find the whole subject to be incredibly fascinating.

00:09:07.000 The whole idea of gender reassignment.

00:09:08.000 That term is fascinating.

00:09:10.000 It sounds like something that would happen to you in the military.

00:09:13.000 You're getting sent for gender reassignment, boy!

00:09:16.000 It's like the robot military.

00:09:17.000 Well, obviously, they should not let...

00:09:19.000 Hopefully, that kid has to be 18 to honestly be able to do that, right?

00:09:23.000 Apparently not.

00:09:23.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:09:24.000 What they're trying to do is they're trying to give the kid blockers that keep him from reaching puberty.

00:09:31.000 That's...

00:09:31.000 Yeah, but that should be against the law for them to be able to do that.

00:09:35.000 That's what I would think.

00:09:36.000 The kid can't make a decision for himself.

00:09:38.000 I don't think you can fucking jack nature like that at 11. You don't know what you're doing.

00:09:43.000 You don't know the repercussions.

00:09:45.000 How could an 11-year-old possibly wrap their head around the idea of what they should be responsible with for their whole future?

00:09:51.000 You're not a man yet.

00:09:53.000 You're not even responsible for yourself.

00:09:55.000 Your mom has to check to make sure you wiped your butt.

00:09:58.000 At 11, I can't imagine.

00:10:03.000 That said, I have a friend who's going through that.

00:10:05.000 I have a friend whose son is going through a gender reassignment issue.

00:10:10.000 Is that a new word?

00:10:12.000 That's a new term.

00:10:13.000 This is like the new ADD or something.

00:10:15.000 I've never heard that term.

00:10:17.000 I don't believe it is.

00:10:17.000 I think that's what they've been calling it when they chop your dick off.

00:10:22.000 That was scaring too many patients off.

00:10:24.000 This is the chop your dick off clinic.

00:10:27.000 Oh, you're here to get yourself a fake vagina and no penis.

00:10:30.000 Alright.

00:10:31.000 It's like two items on the menu.

00:10:33.000 Give me that money.

00:10:35.000 Yeah, that's two items.

00:10:36.000 Chop your dick off.

00:10:39.000 Chop your dick off, sew a dick off.

00:10:42.000 Well, for women, I don't know how many of them get an artificially constructed penis.

00:10:47.000 They convert the clitoris, right?

00:10:49.000 Well, not really.

00:10:50.000 What they do is, for the most part, they just jack them up with roids, and roids make the clit turn into like a little dick.

00:10:59.000 The clitoris and the penis are apparently made out of the same sort of tissue.

00:11:04.000 And when the clitoris is in the presence of massive doses of testosterone, just chimpanzee rage doses, it becomes a dick.

00:11:13.000 It gets so ferocious it grows like a rhino horn.

00:11:18.000 And that's just from just pumping tests into a woman's body.

00:11:21.000 It's all crazy to me, man.

00:11:23.000 I've been around bodybuilders before.

00:11:25.000 I knew girls that did roids for sure.

00:11:27.000 There was girls at this gym that I went to.

00:11:30.000 There was one gym that I went to in North Hollywood.

00:11:31.000 They were fucking gigantic women, man.

00:11:34.000 They were big.

00:11:35.000 They were like $1.80, solid muscle, 5% body fat.

00:11:40.000 Dude, you don't get that way.

00:11:41.000 There's a lady who used to live down the street from me that was like a Miss Olympia.

00:11:44.000 So, you know, it's a weird thing, man.

00:11:47.000 They do look weird.

00:11:48.000 When they do it backwards, though, like when they take the dick off to make it a pussy, don't they use the dick hole and then they kind of like just open it up like an artichoke or something like that?

00:11:56.000 I think, yes, something along those lines.

00:11:59.000 I think they actually try to sever the penis and use it to line the skin of the vagina.

00:12:05.000 So if the person still gets excited, they still have a feeling.

00:12:09.000 But they can't orgasm anymore.

00:12:11.000 No orgasms forever.

00:12:12.000 It makes me wonder then if there's any sensation to get...

00:12:15.000 You see those videos where people are shoving pencils up their dick holes or something like that.

00:12:20.000 Of course.

00:12:21.000 Does that feel good?

00:12:24.000 Does it have a sensation?

00:12:26.000 It's gotta feel terrible!

00:12:27.000 Is that a new way to check off?

00:12:28.000 I think once it heals up, it probably doesn't feel too terrible.

00:12:33.000 They're probably so excited by the fact they got this little fake pussy.

00:12:37.000 Oh, that probably feels good.

00:12:39.000 I thought you meant a pencil in your dick hole.

00:12:42.000 That's gotta feel horrible!

00:12:45.000 And you pause for a second.

00:12:46.000 No, no.

00:12:47.000 Because it's the same hole is what I'm saying is when they split open the dick and you have sex, that's the hole you're using, right?

00:12:54.000 When they make a man and a woman.

00:12:57.000 That's a good question.

00:12:57.000 You might be right.

00:12:58.000 He might be right.

00:13:00.000 There's no way they're not fucking their urethra.

00:13:04.000 They stretch it out.

00:13:06.000 That's what they do.

00:13:07.000 There should be a penis trainer, like an anal trainer.

00:13:10.000 Who's the first person who did this operation?

00:13:12.000 That's what I want to know.

00:13:13.000 They start out with the shell of a bullet.

00:13:17.000 They start off with a number one pencil and they go to a number two and then they go to that nice fat three one that we enjoy.

00:13:22.000 They get to a 38 round and we really pack it in there and stretch out the tip of that cock.

00:13:27.000 And it's a six month process until it becomes something that you can fist.

00:13:31.000 I've seen videos of chicks knuckle deep in a guy's dick.

00:13:36.000 Just pushing down into his dick hole.

00:13:39.000 Just fucking fishing around down in his balls.

00:13:42.000 Oh my god.

00:13:43.000 No bacteria on those nails.

00:13:44.000 Oh god!

00:13:45.000 The infections!

00:13:47.000 This girl I know, she does webcam videos and a lot of guys do that.

00:13:52.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:13:53.000 Like, I was surprised if she will screen capture all of them.

00:13:56.000 Oh, my God!

00:13:57.000 She screen captures all of them?

00:13:59.000 Yeah.

00:13:59.000 So they can see her as she sees them?

00:14:02.000 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:14:03.000 And you know that, what's that, chat roulette?

00:14:05.000 Is that the thing that chicks do?

00:14:06.000 I'm sorry.

00:14:07.000 Is that the thing that chicks do now?

00:14:08.000 You beat off and they look at you one-on-one.

00:14:12.000 Yeah, it's kind of like what you always used to do with girls from forums and stuff for free, but now they're charging something like $10 every two minutes.

00:14:22.000 It's kind of cool because now you're making a personalized porn video.

00:14:25.000 So it's pretty much like chat roulette, but the girl's hot on the other side.

00:14:29.000 Yeah, I'd like to see that.

00:14:30.000 But the girls, they can screen capture.

00:14:32.000 They can get photos of your cock and everything.

00:14:34.000 Yeah, it's mostly just cock.

00:14:35.000 They don't have faces in it.

00:14:36.000 It's terrible.

00:14:37.000 She's like all screen capturing dicks?

00:14:39.000 That's just rude, man.

00:14:40.000 It's unprofessional.

00:14:42.000 Yeah, but she's a professional.

00:14:46.000 This girl I know only does it when it's pencils in the dickholes.

00:14:49.000 You know what I mean?

00:14:50.000 It's only crazy shit.

00:14:52.000 Or there's something ridiculous.

00:14:53.000 Doesn't she have to take an oath before she becomes a webcam woman?

00:14:56.000 Yeah, you should have to.

00:14:57.000 Like, have a Hippocratic oath.

00:14:59.000 You're not allowed to harm.

00:15:01.000 You're not allowed to take screenshots of dudes' dicks.

00:15:04.000 You're here in the service industry.

00:15:05.000 That's right.

00:15:06.000 Oh, I screen capture all the time.

00:15:08.000 All day.

00:15:08.000 There really should be sexual service industry.

00:15:10.000 There really should be.

00:15:11.000 You know, the idea that that's illegal is so fucking gross.

00:15:14.000 You know, I think it probably causes more rape.

00:15:17.000 It causes more anger.

00:15:19.000 If prostitution...

00:15:21.000 Spreads disease.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, I don't want my daughter to be a prostitute.

00:15:23.000 Of course.

00:15:23.000 But if prostitution was legal, people are going to do it.

00:15:27.000 And guess what?

00:15:27.000 Some people are going to actually like to do it.

00:15:29.000 And some people are going to enjoy going there.

00:15:31.000 And some people, they're just crazy bitches and they really wouldn't do anything else anyway.

00:15:35.000 And what are you going to do?

00:15:36.000 Are you going to fix the whole world?

00:15:37.000 Are you going to fix the whole world?

00:15:38.000 Or are you going to let them get tested and get taxed and let them be treated like they're not some outlaw?

00:15:43.000 It's an outlaw thing.

00:15:46.000 If you're a prostitute, you're a criminal.

00:15:49.000 If you're giving away sex for free, you're just a whore.

00:15:52.000 But if you're actually getting money for it, you go to jail.

00:15:55.000 They lock you in a cage.

00:15:56.000 And the idea that we still have that in 2011, regardless of what your beliefs are about sex, whether you should or shouldn't go to a prostitute, I agree.

00:16:04.000 It's kind of a weird thing.

00:16:05.000 It's a little dehumanizing.

00:16:07.000 It's very strange.

00:16:08.000 Fucking for sure it should be legal.

00:16:10.000 You can't lock people in a jail.

00:16:13.000 You lock people in a cage for making someone feel good with their mouth.

00:16:16.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?

00:16:18.000 It's insanity.

00:16:19.000 It's absolute fucking insanity.

00:16:21.000 It's fucking lunacy, man.

00:16:22.000 It's complete insanity.

00:16:23.000 The fact that it's not challenged.

00:16:25.000 The fact that that's not challenged.

00:16:27.000 In 2011, like...

00:16:29.000 And the fact that Apple's not censoring it off of Siri when you're asking for a blowjob and they tell you where the closest escort agency is.

00:16:36.000 Yeah, did you know that?

00:16:37.000 This is what he did.

00:16:38.000 He asked it.

00:16:39.000 I told you this.

00:16:41.000 Last night, I just sit there in bed and try new things.

00:16:44.000 And I'm sitting there and I go, I want a blowjob.

00:16:46.000 And they're like, we found four escort agencies closest to you.

00:16:50.000 And it's like 2.7 miles away.

00:16:51.000 You know Steve Jobs has programmed some shit in there that's just waiting for someone to say the right thing.

00:16:57.000 I just hope they don't start censoring it, though.

00:16:58.000 Apple, keep on going that way.

00:17:00.000 Make it like the internet.

00:17:01.000 Don't start censoring it.

00:17:02.000 That's fucking cool that you actually have that in there.

00:17:04.000 Open a time portal, Siri.

00:17:07.000 He just put it in there knowing eventually someone's saying it.

00:17:10.000 Siri, what is exactly going to happen on December 21st, 2012?

00:17:14.000 Cannot access, future node.

00:17:18.000 That's funny.

00:17:19.000 Yeah, that's fucking cool, man.

00:17:21.000 One thing that seems interesting, it seems like it's run off a server because everyone's activating this Siri, which is a remote assistant on the new iPhone 4S is what we're talking about.

00:17:32.000 Well, you know what it's based on, right?

00:17:33.000 Yeah.

00:17:35.000 The Dragon?

00:17:36.000 No, it's based on Wolfram Alpha, which was that search engine that was created by all these PhDs.

00:17:42.000 They literally wanted to put together, the concept is, a website that can answer any question.

00:17:47.000 So no matter what your question is, what is the weight of one pound of nuclear waste?

00:17:53.000 I've used it before.

00:17:53.000 I've used it for a ship before.

00:17:55.000 Yeah, it's awesome.

00:17:56.000 Yeah, so apparently that's what's behind all this.

00:17:59.000 Wow, that's really cool.

00:18:00.000 It's amazing.

00:18:01.000 Yeah, when you ask for a dead body, it goes, a sewer, an old warehouse, a junkyard.

00:18:06.000 Yeah, he said where to put a dead body.

00:18:07.000 Yeah, you didn't make that?

00:18:09.000 I thought this is a fake video you made.

00:18:11.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:18:11.000 I've been laying in bed using it, just like fucking making up shit.

00:18:15.000 Holy shit.

00:18:15.000 Dude, if you ever have a device, if you ever have a gadget and you want to learn everything about it, I just buy Brian one too.

00:18:22.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:18:23.000 And then I say, where are we at now?

00:18:25.000 And he's like, dude, this is what I just found out.

00:18:27.000 And he'll find shit on it that you would never figure out yourself.

00:18:30.000 He's a fucking gnome.

00:18:30.000 Yeah, well, he's just a gadget whore.

00:18:32.000 I need to figure it out.

00:18:34.000 And I think it's run off a server.

00:18:37.000 I think that they're going to be able to constantly upgrade it as time goes on.

00:18:42.000 And I'm just worried now that with all the attention to all the, of course, the X-rated stuff, that they're going to start censoring it.

00:18:47.000 And I hope they don't start doing that.

00:18:49.000 But it is cool to think what Siri in five years is going to be, just like when we first saw the iPhone 1 to see how it's changed.

00:18:56.000 The technology from then, it's going to be pretty much, like most relationships without sex, it's going to be better than that.

00:19:02.000 It's going to be anything you want to talk about, any questions you have to ask, and it's going to learn, it's going to get to know you.

00:19:09.000 It's pretty much going to be artificial intelligence.

00:19:13.000 What do you mean most relationships without sex?

00:19:16.000 Because what else is it?

00:19:17.000 You're sitting there talking to a computer.

00:19:18.000 Oh, you mean most of the relationship without sex.

00:19:20.000 Like a relationship without sex.

00:19:23.000 Yeah, but you know what?

00:19:24.000 You won't feel the same.

00:19:25.000 That's what the fleshlight is.

00:19:26.000 If you know that the robot is there for you because it's artificial, you're going to abuse it.

00:19:30.000 It's not like a person that you love to have around.

00:19:33.000 I think most people would probably just beat the fuck out of their robots.

00:19:36.000 If they knew that their robot wasn't a person, but was always going to look out for them and be there for them, and you would find that robot annoying...

00:19:45.000 And you would kick his ass because you know he couldn't fight back because he's only there to protect you.

00:19:49.000 Right, but if it gets to know you better...

00:19:51.000 It's not real, man.

00:19:52.000 It's a robot.

00:19:53.000 No, no, but if it gets to know what your answers would be and your personality better, because I'm already interested in it and it's just not even smart right now.

00:20:01.000 Right, right, right.

00:20:01.000 But what if it starts to get to know you and now you're so interested in it like crack...

00:20:05.000 Are you asking what if you fall in love with your phone?

00:20:08.000 Yeah, she has things.

00:20:10.000 I even asked it to sing the other day and it started singing me a song.

00:20:13.000 I mean, it's pretty much...

00:20:15.000 What?

00:20:15.000 It's fascinating.

00:20:17.000 It is fascinating.

00:20:19.000 I'm addicted to it.

00:20:20.000 What if Brian just got a cursed iPhone?

00:20:22.000 It's not Siri.

00:20:23.000 It's got a demon in it.

00:20:26.000 Well, dude, I mean, if you were a real fundamentalist, if there's any more...

00:20:30.000 Satan.

00:20:30.000 Yeah, this is the devil in the machine.

00:20:33.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:20:33.000 That's true.

00:20:34.000 That's what Satan does.

00:20:35.000 You know, someone told me once, Satan...

00:20:38.000 God cannot create.

00:20:39.000 Only God can create.

00:20:41.000 Satan is only capable of imitation.

00:20:43.000 That's why Satan is the god of music, of rock music.

00:20:48.000 Satan is the god.

00:20:50.000 I love dudes who just have knowledge like that.

00:20:54.000 Especially about Satan.

00:20:55.000 They want to give it to you.

00:20:57.000 I'm going to tell you.

00:20:58.000 And they're all confident, and they're just saying just crazy shit.

00:21:01.000 Yeah, just think about that.

00:21:03.000 Just think about that.

00:21:04.000 I've always said that if you believe in the devil, that's a different kind of crazy.

00:21:08.000 Because there's a lot of people that will talk all day about God.

00:21:11.000 Like on TV, God bless America.

00:21:13.000 May God save our troops.

00:21:16.000 God is on our side.

00:21:17.000 Bush said God is on our side on TV. I believe God is on our side.

00:21:20.000 Could you imagine if he said, we found the devil, he's in Afghanistan.

00:21:23.000 He'd be like, oh, this guy's crazy.

00:21:25.000 That is fucking mine.

00:21:26.000 You didn't really find the devil, but it's okay to invoke God into the equation as long as it's sort of an abstract thing that you're pretty sure you're never going to meet in this lifetime.

00:21:35.000 It's amazing what invoking God can do.

00:21:38.000 I mean, clearly the God that the Christians are invoking, if there is a Satan, is Satan, because the God that they're invoking is this homophobic destroyer of everything that isn't a Christian.

00:21:50.000 And if you don't fear him, he will fuck you up.

00:21:53.000 Fucks you up.

00:21:53.000 He will fuck you up.

00:21:54.000 He'll give you a plague.

00:21:56.000 Anything bad, he'll fuck you up so bad.

00:21:58.000 That fucking Herman Cain.

00:22:00.000 There's a thing on the internet of somebody asking Herman Cain what he thinks about homosexuality.

00:22:06.000 His response is, well, I'm a Bible-believing Christian, and so I believe it's a sin.

00:22:12.000 So, if you think about that, this guy's running for president, and those two things he put next to each other, he believes that fucking someone of the same gender is not just bad, it's bad on a metaphysical level.

00:22:26.000 It's bad because there is a super intelligent being out there that gets infuriated When these microscopic amoeba-like creatures put their penis in an asshole of the same gender.

00:22:42.000 He believes in that creature.

00:22:44.000 And that fucking guy wants the keys to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet!

00:22:50.000 You can't!

00:22:51.000 You can't give him that.

00:22:52.000 Do you think they...

00:22:53.000 I don't believe that anymore.

00:22:56.000 I don't believe they have the rights to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet.

00:22:59.000 I don't believe the president has...

00:23:00.000 Any size.

00:23:02.000 I think the president is just doing a job.

00:23:04.000 He's in there playing a role.

00:23:06.000 I think it's really clear now.

00:23:08.000 And the clearest evidence of that is Obama.

00:23:10.000 What Obama, the way he's changed his stance on things from being a presidential candidate to being the president.

00:23:17.000 And he's done everything that you would have asked him to do if you were in corporate America.

00:23:23.000 Sure.

00:23:23.000 You were one of the people that put him into office.

00:23:25.000 He's done everything you asked him.

00:23:26.000 He's like a maitre d'.

00:23:27.000 Including what they're doing with the pharmaceutical companies going after medical marijuana now.

00:23:32.000 Closing down stores.

00:23:34.000 Threatening property owners.

00:23:37.000 Yeah, people who are renting places out to medical marijuana places.

00:23:40.000 They're saying they're going to take their property away.

00:23:42.000 They're threatening newspapers for airing advertisements for medical marijuana.

00:23:46.000 Meanwhile, I mean, there's been study after fucking study after fucking study showing so many benefits that people have that are sick.

00:23:54.000 You know, forget about people like me who just use it because I like the way it makes me feel.

00:23:59.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:00.000 I mean, it makes me relaxed.

00:24:01.000 It helps me go to sleep.

00:24:02.000 A fine reason to do anything.

00:24:04.000 Yeah, a fine reason, just like aspirin.

00:24:06.000 If you have a headache, you should be able to take aspirin, goddammit.

00:24:08.000 You're a fucking grown human being.

00:24:10.000 The idea that any one person should be able to stop you is ridiculous.

00:24:13.000 But in this day and age, with all the information that we have now, the fact that it's still illegal, at a certain point in time, you just have to fucking scream.

00:24:22.000 It's just infuriating.

00:24:23.000 It's infuriating.

00:24:24.000 Well, a poll just came out.

00:24:25.000 It just was popping up on the internet that now 50% of Americans believe that marijuana should be legal.

00:24:30.000 And somebody tweeted to me that in California, like the Medical Association came out and said that they think it should be legal because it causes more harm.

00:24:39.000 It breaks up more families.

00:24:40.000 The war on it is breaking up families, taking people's property away, putting people in jail.

00:24:46.000 That's a million times more harmful than whatever the harmful effects may be of smoking marijuana, which as far as I can tell are like naps that are too good and it makes World of Warcraft fucking unavoidable in your life.

00:25:00.000 It does make food taste better and makes sex feel good too.

00:25:03.000 Yeah, so there's a...

00:25:05.000 I got really depressed when that shit started hitting Twitter about Obama cracking down again.

00:25:12.000 I got really sad.

00:25:16.000 I still am a little gloomy from that because it's just this idea of like, what are we in fucking Mordor and Lord of the Rings?

00:25:22.000 Is there some guy on like a black throne with fucking metal gloves and a horn helmet being like, we must...

00:25:30.000 Crush the marijuana that is making these people so happy.

00:25:34.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:35.000 Or you cannot have the people be happy.

00:25:37.000 They're too happy.

00:25:38.000 It's just the grossest example of corruption available.

00:25:41.000 Yeah.

00:25:41.000 The grossest example of corruption.

00:25:43.000 Whenever there's something where someone's trying to crack down on things, know this.

00:25:46.000 When someone is threatening to crack down on something, where they're going after certain organizations, there's money involved.

00:25:53.000 100%.

00:25:54.000 percent there's money involved right and the money can go one way or the other you know it could go that they realize they can make a lot of money through these medical marijuana places and the marijuana places give them a nice fat tax like maybe say hey instead of you know uh whatever tax we're paying how about medical marijuana you make them pay x amount of tax maybe just a little bit more that those profits go to try to straighten out the economy a little bit and uh you know and everybody still can make a shitload of fucking money

00:26:22.000 then they have to stop back and think and go, wow, they're giving us more money than the pharmaceutical companies are.

00:26:26.000 And then, and only then, are you going to be able to fucking stop all this bullshit.

00:26:30.000 You're going to have to have a marijuana lobby.

00:26:32.000 You're going to have to have people that have shitloads of fucking money, and they want marijuana to be legal.

00:26:37.000 And then all these cunt politicians, all these corrupt little whores with their assholes sticking straight up in the air, all of them will come around.

00:26:46.000 All of them.

00:26:47.000 But that's only then.

00:26:48.000 Only when they get the people who put them in office, when they're daddies, who put them in position and tell them what the fuck to say.

00:26:53.000 There's no clear piece of evidence that Obama, a man who admitted he smoked marijuana, and they're locking people in cages for selling.

00:27:00.000 Taking their property.

00:27:01.000 Taking their property.

00:27:02.000 Yanking them away in front of their kids.

00:27:04.000 Why are they doing it?

00:27:05.000 There's only one reason.

00:27:06.000 Money.

00:27:07.000 There's only one reason.

00:27:08.000 Someone...

00:27:09.000 Is making money off it not being legal.

00:27:12.000 That's one part of it, but there is the deeper conspiracy theory about it, which is that it's not just the money, it's the fact that the state of consciousness it induces isn't one that works for the type of capitalism we have right now.

00:27:28.000 And I think there's something to that, man.

00:27:31.000 If people start...

00:27:32.000 And also, it's like, try getting really high on a really good weed and start thinking about those fucking drones zooming around Afghanistan and blasting missiles at kids.

00:27:43.000 And it's like, you'll really start getting a clear understanding of how fucked up that is.

00:27:49.000 No matter what, even...

00:27:50.000 Let's say even those drone attacks, we had to do them, it's still fucked up.

00:27:54.000 It still creates more of a sensitivity towards people getting their limbs blown off of their bodies in the pursuit of some ridiculous war.

00:28:05.000 And that kind of, you know, that's hitting the military-industrial complex.

00:28:09.000 It's hitting the pharmaceutical companies because if you start getting high...

00:28:13.000 You're going to start experiencing a better level of happiness.

00:28:16.000 It's going to make you start dealing with your bullshit.

00:28:18.000 Or maybe it'll make you depressed because you're lazy.

00:28:21.000 But either way, it won't allow you to sink into the kind of sedated hypnosis that it seems like works really fucking well for Applebee's.

00:28:31.000 You know, it works really well for the corporations for people to be in a sedated, hypnotic, State where they can really make sense of going down to a shopping mall and like eating at a fucking, I don't know, chicken place with their kids and then going up and buying some shit at a shoe store and then spending their day just consuming shit they don't really need and then going home and sitting back to watch TV with more advertisements and not thinking that's weird and falling asleep in that

00:29:01.000 kind of depressed slumber.

00:29:02.000 That is really hard to do if you're high.

00:29:06.000 If you're really high, it's really hard to watch normal TV and not be like, this is horrible!

00:29:13.000 Look at these advertisements!

00:29:15.000 Are you kidding?

00:29:16.000 They think that that's going to work on me?

00:29:18.000 Oh my god!

00:29:20.000 $48,000 for a fucking car?

00:29:23.000 You're going to pay for it.

00:29:24.000 That's like over a year's wage for some people.

00:29:27.000 You're going to make sense of buying a brand new car.

00:29:30.000 Payments of $285 a month.

00:29:33.000 For like $4,000 you can go buy a fucking car.

00:29:36.000 Get it fixed up through the year and have like a shitload of extra money and not be in debt.

00:29:40.000 That's what pot makes you think.

00:29:42.000 You know, but if you're like drunk and you're fucking scratching your balls and watching the game and a fucking the new Lexus, you'll start thinking like, well, my credit score went up this year.

00:29:54.000 I think I might be able to take out a loan from the bank and get a new Lexus.

00:29:58.000 Even though you're fucking broke and living in hell and it's going to just create this weight on your budget that's going to make you miserable.

00:30:05.000 Dude, I don't mean to go on a long rant, but did I ever tell you the time a friend of mine picked me up in his fucking Mercedes and took me to his apartment?

00:30:12.000 Did I ever tell you this?

00:30:13.000 No.

00:30:13.000 He had a brand new Mercedes.

00:30:15.000 Now I know this guy.

00:30:16.000 I knew what his job was.

00:30:17.000 Picked me up in his...

00:30:18.000 And I knew he couldn't afford a Mercedes.

00:30:19.000 Picks me up in his brand new Mercedes and he's like, hey, I gotta stop by my apartment.

00:30:22.000 Come inside for a second.

00:30:24.000 Go into his apartment.

00:30:25.000 It is the size of a fucking car.

00:30:27.000 Closet.

00:30:28.000 It is the smallest apartment I've ever seen in my life.

00:30:31.000 He had to almost walk sideways against the wall to get around the bed to get to the bathroom.

00:30:38.000 It's like a New York style just shitbox.

00:30:41.000 Meanwhile, that guy's car payments have got to be like $550, $600 a month.

00:30:46.000 I mean, this is a nice fucking Mercedes.

00:30:48.000 And in his mind, his logic behind it was like, yeah, it's better to have a really nice car than a comfortable living situation.

00:30:57.000 I talk about this like...

00:30:58.000 He's like a...

00:30:59.000 One last thing.

00:31:00.000 That guy's a tramp demon.

00:31:02.000 What?

00:31:03.000 He's a tramp demon.

00:31:04.000 Because tramps see that Mercedes and they're like, let's go back to your apartment.

00:31:08.000 Because they think he's rich.

00:31:09.000 And then they get in this tiny little fucking shitty closet space.

00:31:12.000 He probably has some rap about that.

00:31:14.000 They're making my new place.

00:31:15.000 They're fixing it uptown.

00:31:17.000 I'm staying here for a little while.

00:31:18.000 Yeah.

00:31:20.000 See ya.

00:31:20.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:21.000 It's so fucking sad.

00:31:22.000 The look on those tramps' face when they walk in that door and realize that there's barely room to stand.

00:31:28.000 There's like two feet of carpet between the door and the bed.

00:31:31.000 There's a lot of people who believe in those really small, sustainable houses.

00:31:35.000 People are making these really, really little houses.

00:31:38.000 And you move things out for the kitchen and move things out.

00:31:41.000 And the bed is like a little loft area.

00:31:45.000 It's like a whole trend on the internet.

00:31:47.000 There's a lot of people that are doing that now.

00:31:49.000 I don't think there's anything wrong about living simply.

00:31:51.000 It's just hilarious when people throw themselves into hellish debt for a symbol.

00:31:59.000 Well, it's not just that, honestly.

00:32:01.000 You enjoy the fuck out of a nice car.

00:32:04.000 When you get a Mercedes, you can't believe you're allowed to drive this thing.

00:32:07.000 Everywhere you go, people look at you like you must be special.

00:32:09.000 Look at him, he's getting into For a lot of people, that is a tangible benefit of having a car like that.

00:32:15.000 They like it.

00:32:16.000 You could say it's shallow all day, but man, driving one of those things is beautiful.

00:32:20.000 It's an amazing piece of engineering.

00:32:23.000 And as a gearhead, you know, I'm sort of a minor league gearhead because I don't know exactly how all of it works.

00:32:29.000 Like, Adam Carolla is like a legit gearhead.

00:32:31.000 He can, like, build cars.

00:32:33.000 I just, like, buy them from people who know how to build them and appreciate the fuck out of them.

00:32:37.000 I think they're interesting.

00:32:38.000 But the driving one, you drive, like, a really well-engineered piece of...

00:32:43.000 It's amazing.

00:32:43.000 No, man, if I had shitloads of money, I would buy a nice car.

00:32:48.000 And I wouldn't feel weird about it because anything to, like...

00:32:52.000 To dull the fucking existential horror that comes over me on the 101 in traffic.

00:32:58.000 That's beautiful.

00:32:59.000 I'm just saying, when those commercials, they're not just appealing to rich people.

00:33:05.000 They're manipulating idiots into somehow convincing them that it logically makes sense to get in debt to a bank for 50 grand.

00:33:15.000 It's not just idiots.

00:33:16.000 It's people that are not happy.

00:33:18.000 That's what it is.

00:33:19.000 They're offering you happiness.

00:33:20.000 See, most people throughout their day, they have a job that can occasionally be interesting, but they would never fucking do for free.

00:33:28.000 And whether they're good at it or not, they take some sense of pride in their work, they get through their day, but they're fucking tired, man.

00:33:34.000 And people are unsatisfied.

00:33:35.000 They feel like they work so fucking hard, they put so much in, and what am I getting?

00:33:40.000 I'm just existing?

00:33:41.000 This is what I'm doing?

00:33:42.000 I'm existing.

00:33:43.000 So what do they do?

00:33:44.000 They get fucking shit.

00:33:46.000 They buy a new bowling ball.

00:33:47.000 They get a new Lexus.

00:33:49.000 And you know what?

00:33:50.000 For them, you know, for some of those, you say it's sad, but for some of those guys that are stuck in that life, no matter what they do, that might give them like a little bit more happiness driving, you know.

00:33:59.000 Yeah, but that's plastic.

00:34:00.000 A nice new Mustang on the way to work.

00:34:02.000 It's like eating plastic fucking fruit.

00:34:04.000 I mean, really, the idea is get underneath that.

00:34:06.000 Don't start.

00:34:07.000 You're starting at the top.

00:34:08.000 Start way deep.

00:34:10.000 Start down deep and then worry about the fucking Mercedes.

00:34:12.000 Yes, for you.

00:34:14.000 Yes, for you.

00:34:15.000 For you, for a guy who thinks.

00:34:17.000 But for someone who's just locked into the life of a drone and accepts it, a nice little red Mercedes.

00:34:24.000 Look at that.

00:34:25.000 Look at the look on Bob's face.

00:34:27.000 He's so happy that he gets into his red Mercedes.

00:34:29.000 I don't buy Mercedes, but I do the same shit.

00:34:35.000 I get myself in debt, always have been.

00:34:38.000 I do the same shit.

00:34:38.000 I don't buy Mercedes or go to that crazy, but my shit was always like, I grew up super poor.

00:34:43.000 And then now I have credits.

00:34:45.000 So now I can buy things.

00:34:47.000 Most of my life was like hand-me-down shit or shitty toys.

00:34:53.000 You live in a neighborhood with a bunch of kids that get anything they wanted growing up.

00:34:57.000 I don't understand it.

00:34:58.000 And you see these kids and you're like, wow, you got Voltron?

00:35:01.000 How'd you get Voltron?

00:35:02.000 That's just like $80, you know?

00:35:04.000 And then now you're an adult.

00:35:06.000 You're kind of over...

00:35:07.000 You feel like, I deserve this because I didn't have that stuff growing up.

00:35:11.000 I want what I want.

00:35:12.000 These kids always had growing up.

00:35:14.000 People like objects to soothe them.

00:35:17.000 Give me a big computer monitor.

00:35:19.000 And fucking World of Warcraft.

00:35:21.000 And some medicinal marijuana.

00:35:23.000 And that's all I need.

00:35:25.000 And that costs $13.99 a month.

00:35:27.000 Oh shit.

00:35:28.000 I guess I can't say what I did because they'll cancel my account.

00:35:32.000 Can I tell you what a friend of mine did?

00:35:37.000 Yes, please do.

00:35:38.000 A friend of mine recently went on a really bad World of Warcraft binge.

00:35:42.000 He didn't mean to when he started playing.

00:35:46.000 What's this guy's name?

00:35:48.000 His name's...

00:35:49.000 Little Hobo?

00:35:50.000 Yeah, his name's Little Hobo!

00:35:52.000 You know him!

00:35:52.000 Little Hobo.

00:35:53.000 Started playing and he went in there and he started playing.

00:35:57.000 Me and him are similar in that we both have a level 83 Warlock.

00:36:03.000 And Little Hobo started playing and he went in deep.

00:36:07.000 I don't know what happened to him, but it's like he really, really, really got hooked on it for like three days.

00:36:14.000 And since he did delete the game from his computer so he couldn't play.

00:36:18.000 But in the midst of this binge, he decided to buy gold.

00:36:24.000 Because they sell gold online for World of Warcraft.

00:36:27.000 They sell gold.

00:36:28.000 Do you know this?

00:36:29.000 Yeah.

00:36:29.000 They sell World of Warcraft currency.

00:36:31.000 Okay.

00:36:31.000 So he decided to buy, just because he saw an ad and he's like, I wonder if this really works.

00:36:35.000 He decided to buy 6,000 gold, which takes a long time to gather up in that game.

00:36:40.000 And so he went online and he ordered it.

00:36:42.000 And he had to put his phone number in.

00:36:45.000 And he got a fucking call from these Chinese people.

00:36:48.000 They're like, you buy gold?

00:36:51.000 You buy gold?

00:36:52.000 Meet an Ogremar at the bank.

00:36:54.000 Ogremar, bank, now!

00:36:56.000 Come now!

00:36:56.000 Like, really, like, they couldn't really speak English that well.

00:36:59.000 And you go and you meet a gold dealer.

00:37:04.000 In the game.

00:37:05.000 In the game.

00:37:06.000 So they call you up in real life and tell you to get a line.

00:37:08.000 The gold's ready.

00:37:09.000 The gold's ready, get online.

00:37:11.000 Then you go and you meet this, like, level one character, and it's like a fucking drug deal.

00:37:15.000 They have you meet kind of, they're like, Valley of Spirits, come now!

00:37:18.000 Valley of Spirits, you come now!

00:37:20.000 They're brusque.

00:37:21.000 You go there, and then they, like, give you 6,000 gold, and their character vanishes.

00:37:26.000 It was so fucking...

00:37:28.000 Do you think two things?

00:37:29.000 Do you think either there's a Foxconn of kids that are forced to play this game and then all...

00:37:33.000 It's sweatshop.

00:37:35.000 Yeah, sweatshop gold.

00:37:35.000 6,000 gold for $7?

00:37:39.000 It would take days for me to gather up 6,000 gold.

00:37:43.000 $7.

00:37:44.000 They're getting paid like 10 cents an hour.

00:37:47.000 Wow.

00:37:48.000 If that together...

00:37:49.000 Or Blizzard's one of the most intelligent companies in the whole entire world, and they discovered that, like, hey, this is like paying...

00:37:55.000 You know, we could act like these people existed, you know, where we're actually making money.

00:37:59.000 Like, we just made $7 off Dunkin'.

00:38:01.000 You know, we made up this imaginary gold.

00:38:02.000 You know what I mean?

00:38:03.000 No, dude.

00:38:03.000 That'd be so awesome.

00:38:03.000 This was some Blade Runner shit.

00:38:05.000 This is some, like, kids in a fucking bunker.

00:38:09.000 It was like...

00:38:09.000 And it's like...

00:38:11.000 It felt genuinely...

00:38:13.000 I can't...

00:38:14.000 Well, Little Hobo told me that it was like one of the...

00:38:19.000 That was one of the most fun experiences I had on the game.

00:38:22.000 You were able to commit a crime without getting arrested.

00:38:26.000 It was really fun.

00:38:28.000 I'm so glad Little Hobo's back.

00:38:30.000 Yeah, me too.

00:38:31.000 He's been enjoying getting out on the road again.

00:38:33.000 So, are you using the little guy?

00:38:37.000 The little guy's been working.

00:38:38.000 Fine.

00:38:39.000 Nobody seems to care.

00:38:42.000 It's the same thing.

00:38:43.000 The little guy's a little cuter.

00:38:44.000 He's a little nicer.

00:38:46.000 Not on stage.

00:38:47.000 He's sweeter looking.

00:38:49.000 What you were saying that it is like Blade Runner type shit.

00:38:52.000 It really is.

00:38:53.000 Things are getting so bizarre.

00:38:55.000 It's bizarre.

00:38:56.000 They're getting so bizarre and they're closing in with the Siri thing.

00:38:59.000 You're absolutely right, Brian.

00:39:00.000 This is the next level.

00:39:01.000 This ability to interact with your device.

00:39:03.000 Interact with your intelligence.

00:39:05.000 Yeah, we're knocking on the door of some really, really bizarre times.

00:39:09.000 You know what I think it is, man?

00:39:10.000 I think the next thing is going to be interactive surfaces where it's going to be like some kind of like, I don't know, material that you could lay down on top of a table, like kind of like tile or just some kind of cloth you could lay on top of something that turned into a screen.

00:39:28.000 So I think that the new thing is going to be there are going to be walls made of interactive surfaces so that you could tell the wall, you know, like beach view.

00:39:36.000 And suddenly you're just sitting on some beautiful beach looking out at the ocean. - I think they already have that shit actually.

00:39:41.000 Yeah, like that wall technology.

00:39:44.000 But it's got to be...

00:39:46.000 I think it's going to get totally normal.

00:39:48.000 You know now when you go to a hotel and you're like, ah, fuck, they don't have wireless.

00:39:51.000 It'll be like you'll go to a hotel and be like, ah, there's no interactive surfaces.

00:39:55.000 It doesn't have interactive walls.

00:39:57.000 I think eventually what it's going to be is we're going to have hologram units.

00:40:01.000 And that you're going to be able to watch things in hologram.

00:40:04.000 You'll be able to...

00:40:06.000 Remember when R2-D2 had Princess Leia come out?

00:40:10.000 Yeah, totally.

00:40:11.000 And there's a little video that you could watch.

00:40:13.000 You're my only hope.

00:40:15.000 Help us, Obi-Wan.

00:40:16.000 It's so primitive when you think about it.

00:40:18.000 But I think eventually there'll be some sort of a large form of that in your living room.

00:40:23.000 Like your living room will have an open space.

00:40:25.000 Instead of having a 55-inch TV, you'll have like a 55-inch square on the ground.

00:40:29.000 Yeah.

00:40:29.000 You know, and then there'll be something above it, and it'll just project some three-dimensional, fully three-dimensional image.

00:40:36.000 That you can control with your hands.

00:40:37.000 You can, like, move shit around with your hands and stuff.

00:40:39.000 I mean, that!

00:40:40.000 When that happens, that's when fucking Starcraft 2 is going to become the ultimate sport.

00:40:45.000 Because they're going to put that shit in, like, they're going to put that in stadiums.

00:40:49.000 Are you sponsored by Blizzard?

00:40:50.000 I wish I was sponsored by Blizzard.

00:40:52.000 They're going to have it, like...

00:40:54.000 Stadiums are going to be laid out with these huge holograms of video games fighting each other that look super realistic.

00:41:03.000 That's coming.

00:41:03.000 I know it's going to happen.

00:41:04.000 It's going to be so fun.

00:41:06.000 Could you imagine if they had life-size video game hologram things that interact with each other and you could watch a game of Quake play out?

00:41:14.000 Exactly.

00:41:14.000 Watch it play out in an arena.

00:41:16.000 Watch like a dude, like an artificial dude rolling, shooting guns and shit.

00:41:22.000 That's where it's heading, man.

00:41:23.000 It's already like so fucking fun to watch.

00:41:25.000 Esports, I'm hooked.

00:41:27.000 I've been watching these Starcraft 2 tournaments and they're like badass.

00:41:30.000 They're so fun to watch when you know what's happening.

00:41:33.000 Fucking Koreans, man.

00:41:34.000 They're the fucking...

00:41:35.000 They are to starcraft what black people are to football.

00:41:39.000 They're just like ripping through, ripping through everyone.

00:41:44.000 They're so good, man.

00:41:45.000 And they have like...

00:41:46.000 The way they set up the cameras, they show like their hands on the keyboard sometimes.

00:41:50.000 You can see how fast they're moving their hands.

00:41:52.000 It's like...

00:41:53.000 Lightning fast.

00:41:55.000 It's like $100,000 is what they're competing for.

00:41:58.000 So it's real money and it's...

00:42:00.000 Well, quick thinking and intelligence is really what's required to play StarCraft.

00:42:07.000 That's a tricky-ass game.

00:42:09.000 I was into fast twitch muscle games.

00:42:12.000 I was into aim games, like Quake, because it was really intense.

00:42:16.000 I was into one-on-one duels and all that type of shit.

00:42:19.000 The amount of calculation that's involved in a game like StarCraft, it's not just like moving your hands quick.

00:42:26.000 There's a lot of shit going on, man.

00:42:28.000 The automatic, it's fast twitch because you do have to be able to move super fast and there's like, the way they break it down is there's like...

00:42:35.000 But it's not an aim fast twitch.

00:42:37.000 The precision and Involved in Quake, you had to get special mouses with mice, where there were 2,000 DPI, 3,000 DPI. They had these razor mice that they created specifically just to make the accuracy They have those for Starcraft.

00:42:55.000 But you need them as much?

00:42:56.000 Oh fuck yeah, because the macro game is like your big plan, what different setups you're going to use to try to defeat your opponent on the broad scale.

00:43:05.000 Then there's the micro game, which is so when you're having individual skirmishes between armies, I only do macro.

00:43:13.000 I'm terrible at micro, but the micro game is, let's say you've got five zergs, which are these alien predatorial creatures, and they're fighting five protoss, which are kind of like sci-fi space people.

00:43:28.000 You have to, like, if you're really good as your units start getting injured, you pull them out of the fight.

00:43:34.000 You pull them back out of the fight so that they don't get killed and they can heal in the back while the people who aren't getting hurt can fight.

00:43:40.000 And there's, like, tricks based around that, and you've got to move fast as fuck to pull that off.

00:43:45.000 And meanwhile, while you're doing that in the middle of a skirmish, you've got to be thinking about all the shit back at your base, your fucking spawning pool has got to get adrenal glands on your fucking...

00:43:55.000 Zergs, you gotta update your fucking hive.

00:43:58.000 Your queens gotta be spread.

00:44:00.000 The queens, because I play Zerg, they're like badass aliens.

00:44:03.000 The queens, they spit this.

00:44:06.000 No, I think it comes out of their ass.

00:44:08.000 They turn around and spray this weird hive with their eggs, and that creates larvae from which you grow these aliens.

00:44:15.000 You gotta be thinking, I gotta spray the fucking hive.

00:44:18.000 I gotta make a goddamn...

00:44:20.000 I don't have time for this.

00:44:20.000 I gotta make a baneling nest.

00:44:22.000 It's awesome!

00:44:23.000 I have no time for this.

00:44:24.000 You should get mad about the Olive Garden.

00:44:26.000 What the fuck was that about?

00:44:27.000 This is ridiculous.

00:44:28.000 It's the greatest game.

00:44:29.000 It's the greatest game of all time.

00:44:31.000 Well, I guess if you really get into it, it would become your life, though.

00:44:34.000 It seems like it's so complex, and there's so much involved in it, that you kind of have to play it all day.

00:44:39.000 Do you find yourself ever wishing...

00:44:43.000 Sometimes.

00:44:43.000 You've got to moderate.

00:44:44.000 You've got to take control of yourself.

00:44:45.000 It seems like you're constantly being stimulated.

00:44:49.000 You're constantly having tasks to perform.

00:44:51.000 It's never-ending, especially if you're playing online.

00:44:53.000 And you're playing against a person, and so you're getting the added silly endorphin rush of crushing someone...

00:44:59.000 And also it ranks you.

00:45:01.000 So the way they got it set up is there's different leagues in StarCraft.

00:45:04.000 So you have like the Bronze League.

00:45:06.000 Then you have like the Silver League, the Gold League.

00:45:09.000 I think they have one above that called the Diamond League.

00:45:11.000 So like the players, if you were really good theoretically, you would rise up in the ranks.

00:45:18.000 And eventually you could get to the point where you became like...

00:45:20.000 People want to watch your games.

00:45:22.000 People want to start watching the games if they're really good players because you learn tricks from watching them.

00:45:28.000 I like watching video games in general.

00:45:30.000 I think there is a future for that because I was always a fan of when my friend would want to play a video game to sit there and watch him play.

00:45:37.000 Really?

00:45:37.000 Yeah, I liked it.

00:45:38.000 You can watch StarCraft too.

00:45:40.000 It's totally entertaining.

00:45:41.000 I can watch Quake games, Quake demos, but I don't think I would want to watch a game that I'm not aware of.

00:45:45.000 I've watched people play Battlefield Earth or one of those fucking...

00:45:49.000 Battlefield.

00:45:49.000 Is that what it is?

00:45:50.000 Battlefield.

00:45:50.000 I've watched people play that.

00:45:51.000 It looks like fun, but it's not exciting to me because I don't play it.

00:45:54.000 You have to play the game to be excited about watching a video of it.

00:45:58.000 That's true.

00:45:58.000 Otherwise, it just seems like insanity.

00:46:00.000 That's what I always say about pool.

00:46:02.000 Nobody wants to watch pool on TV. You know what does well on TV for pool?

00:46:06.000 Trick shot shows.

00:46:07.000 Those stupid trick shot shows, which I can't even watch.

00:46:09.000 I have it set up on my DVR to record pool shows, but whenever there's a trick shot show, I get annoyed.

00:46:15.000 I don't care what they're doing.

00:46:17.000 It's not a game.

00:46:18.000 It's not a real game.

00:46:19.000 The only reason why I like it is because I play pool.

00:46:23.000 If you don't play pool, you'd be like, what the fuck stupid shit are you watching?

00:46:27.000 You're watching some idiot shoot round balls out of other round balls and knock them into holes, and you get excited when it goes in a hole.

00:46:35.000 Are you talking about basketball?

00:46:36.000 No, pool.

00:46:38.000 That too.

00:46:39.000 Same shit.

00:46:39.000 Any game, really.

00:46:41.000 If you don't play them, you could admire great feats of physical athletic ability, like when a guy can jump through the air and slam dunk a ball.

00:46:50.000 But if you don't play it, you don't give a fuck.

00:46:53.000 If you play it, then it becomes something you're like, how would I have gotten out in that game?

00:46:57.000 How would I have dealt with his zergs?

00:46:59.000 How would I have, you know, and then...

00:47:01.000 Well, that's the thing.

00:47:03.000 When you play it, you're learning.

00:47:04.000 You're kind of like watching it and getting tricks, and you know how you're going to apply it.

00:47:08.000 It's so complicated, though.

00:47:10.000 Oh, it's incredibly complicated.

00:47:12.000 I mean, it's very complex, but there are some simple, basic things that just mimic any battle.

00:47:19.000 I mean, it's very similar to like real skirmishes and stuff because you're having to be deceptive.

00:47:27.000 You're having to use deception.

00:47:28.000 You don't want them to understand what setup you're using initially.

00:47:32.000 Like in the very beginning of the game, you'll send out a scout to go into their base, and you'll look, and you'll be like, oh, shit, man.

00:47:38.000 It's only been like a second.

00:47:40.000 They've already created a spawning pool.

00:47:42.000 That means they're going to do a Zerg rush.

00:47:43.000 Okay, you're killing me with all this, too.

00:47:45.000 No, I'm sorry.

00:47:46.000 I'll shut up.

00:47:47.000 I'm hooked.

00:47:48.000 Yeah, but the only people that can understand what the fuck you're talking about is people that actually do it.

00:47:54.000 I mean, you can sort of follow it along, but I mean, it just seems like so fucking complex.

00:47:59.000 It's complex.

00:48:00.000 It's a complex game, but it's the first in what I think is going to be this entire new generation of these types of games.

00:48:06.000 And I really think it's going to grow and become like, I think eventually, 10 years down the road, They're going to have an ESPN for esports, where they're going to have leagues, and they're going to have teams.

00:48:18.000 Well, they already do in Korea.

00:48:19.000 Right.

00:48:19.000 Oh, in Korea, it's as big as football.

00:48:20.000 They have real professional players.

00:48:22.000 Yeah.

00:48:22.000 I wonder why it took off in Korea like that.

00:48:24.000 But yeah, they do have it here, but not like they do in Korea.

00:48:27.000 Especially Star Trek.

00:48:29.000 Starcraft, too.

00:48:30.000 Starcraft in Korea is bonkers.

00:48:32.000 I've watched big tournaments where they have audiences watching.

00:48:35.000 It's really crazy.

00:48:36.000 It just took off there for some reason.

00:48:38.000 Why are they so good?

00:48:40.000 Well, because they train.

00:48:42.000 They treat it like a real sport.

00:48:45.000 They have coaches, they train, they learn techniques and tactics and stuff.

00:48:51.000 Koreans are intense people, man.

00:48:53.000 Intense, man.

00:48:53.000 I grew up all around Koreans because of my Taekwondo background.

00:48:58.000 We were always nervous to fight Koreans, too.

00:49:01.000 If you had to fight Koreans in Taekwondo tournaments, everyone was terrified.

00:49:05.000 A guy would show up with his gi on, with a Korea on the back of it.

00:49:09.000 You'd shit your pants.

00:49:10.000 Like, oh fuck, he's a Korean.

00:49:12.000 They just were so intense and so much better at Taekwondo for a long time.

00:49:17.000 Eventually, Americans and a lot of the other countries caught up, but in the beginning, they were really far ahead.

00:49:22.000 It's so intense, man.

00:49:24.000 Korean people are so fucking competitive.

00:49:27.000 Dude, doesn't Korea have one of the fastest download speeds of any country?

00:49:32.000 I believe they do.

00:49:33.000 They're super high-tech.

00:49:34.000 All the Samsung phones, apparently, are made in Korea.

00:49:38.000 We were talking about the whole thing about sweatshops and shit like that.

00:49:43.000 Some of the parts, though, are still made in China.

00:49:45.000 But they make them in Korea.

00:49:47.000 Here's something interesting about Korea is that one of the number one podcasts on iTunes is a Korean podcast.

00:49:53.000 And it's on Korean.

00:49:55.000 You won't even understand it or anything.

00:49:57.000 And so I was researching, like, what the fuck is this podcast?

00:50:00.000 Because it keeps on being number one of all podcasts lately.

00:50:03.000 And what it is, it's like the Korean news is like Fox.

00:50:06.000 It's like horrible, you know, just like biased news, right?

00:50:10.000 And so this podcast is supposedly like the daily show, but like for real news.

00:50:16.000 And it's gotten so big.

00:50:17.000 And finally, the Koreans are getting news from a different source that's a little bit more honest and a little bit more edgy.

00:50:24.000 And for them, it's blowing up right now.

00:50:26.000 Oh, wow, that's cool.

00:50:26.000 So it's kind of interesting.

00:50:27.000 I wish I could understand it, though.

00:50:29.000 You know, I wish it was possible to translate it.

00:50:32.000 Wow.

00:50:32.000 But, yeah, it's weird.

00:50:33.000 That's pretty cool.

00:50:34.000 It's called, I think, the D-D-A-N-Z-I-S. The Danzis or something like that.

00:50:39.000 Huh.

00:50:40.000 That's pretty interesting shit, man.

00:50:41.000 Yeah, we take it for granted.

00:50:43.000 As censored as our media is, we're still doing way better than a huge chunk of the rest of the world.

00:50:51.000 That's true.

00:50:52.000 But what do you think about this fucking Occupy Wall Street thing, man?

00:50:54.000 Because this is...

00:50:56.000 People are actually getting mad at me for not talking about this.

00:50:59.000 And I've had people get mad on my message board, mad at me on Twitter.

00:51:03.000 People are very passionate about it.

00:51:04.000 I've been retweeting things left and right.

00:51:06.000 Retweeting videos, retweeting all kinds of things about it.

00:51:08.000 And I've been trying to formulate an opinion on it.

00:51:10.000 And first of all, it's very exciting.

00:51:12.000 And what's exciting is that it seems like for the first time in my life...

00:51:17.000 That I can remember, people are standing up to the government, standing up to the federal bank in a giant way.

00:51:24.000 Huge.

00:51:24.000 I've never seen this before.

00:51:26.000 I've never seen just droves of people in the streets sleeping there, staying there.

00:51:31.000 Cops losing their fucking shit, man.

00:51:33.000 Cops freaking out because of stress and punching people.

00:51:36.000 Have you seen these people getting maced and all this shit that's going on, man?

00:51:40.000 White shirts.

00:51:41.000 Yeah, dude, they're becoming white shirts.

00:51:43.000 People are calling.

00:51:43.000 I never heard cops called white shirts before, man.

00:51:46.000 White shirts.

00:51:46.000 Now that's what I hear.

00:51:47.000 A white shirt punches a female protester video on YouTube.

00:51:50.000 They're violent.

00:51:51.000 You're watching it.

00:51:51.000 Is that what it is?

00:51:52.000 The white shirts are violent.

00:51:54.000 The white shirts are the ones who are higher up and they seem to be...

00:52:00.000 Feel more entitled.

00:52:00.000 Yeah, the videos coming back that I've seen, it's always a white shirt.

00:52:04.000 And they're kind of like fucking...

00:52:06.000 Thug fat.

00:52:07.000 They've got that thug fat.

00:52:08.000 You know what I'm talking about?

00:52:10.000 They're like bell shaped or something and they just like fucking pop people in the face.

00:52:15.000 By the way, whoever that cop is, what a bitch ass right hand you have, dude.

00:52:19.000 That was a terrible punch.

00:52:20.000 It was all like down.

00:52:22.000 It was the worst.

00:52:23.000 You had no technique and as a professional fight commentator, I was appalled.

00:52:28.000 Like Dexter.

00:52:29.000 Yeah.

00:52:30.000 Like Dexter.

00:52:31.000 I gave up on Dexter because he had a shitty rear naked choke.

00:52:35.000 John Lithgow had a shitty rear naked choke and some girl gave up on the whole season.

00:52:39.000 That show's done for me almost.

00:52:40.000 You're done?

00:52:40.000 I'm giving you a couple more episodes.

00:52:42.000 This season's been sloppy, bad acting, bad editing, bad writing, bad everything.

00:52:47.000 Yeah, you can only do a show for so long until you take yourself too seriously.

00:52:51.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:52:52.000 No shows ever last.

00:52:53.000 That's the cool thing about the BBC is they'll just do it.

00:52:55.000 They're like, it's only going to be one season.

00:52:58.000 Tell the story in a season.

00:52:59.000 It's not going to be based on whether it's popular.

00:53:02.000 We do it and tell the story and that's it.

00:53:04.000 And so you get more quality shows.

00:53:05.000 You don't get this shit where they extend and extend and extend and then...

00:53:09.000 It ends up petering out in a crappy way.

00:53:12.000 Well, the crazy thing is that we take those BBC shows, redo them with American class, make them much more mediocre.

00:53:17.000 And ruin them.

00:53:17.000 And they go on forever.

00:53:18.000 Yeah, they just stretch out, go on fucking forever.

00:53:21.000 For years and years and years.

00:53:23.000 But dude, I watched the fucking Walking Dead 2 episode 1. Or rather, Walking Dead season 2 episode 1 today.

00:53:30.000 Damn!

00:53:31.000 It is so good!

00:53:33.000 Every time I watch that show, I end up curled up in my fucking chair like, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

00:53:38.000 The zombies in that show are so fucked up.

00:53:42.000 Yeah, that's a legit show.

00:53:43.000 You know what else is a legit show?

00:53:44.000 What?

00:53:44.000 American Horror Story.

00:53:46.000 Oh, is that good?

00:53:47.000 FX, yeah, I just started watching that.

00:53:48.000 I'm going to start watching that.

00:53:49.000 Yeah, it's good.

00:53:50.000 Creator of Glee.

00:53:50.000 It's creepy as fuck.

00:53:51.000 Is it really?

00:53:52.000 Is it really?

00:53:52.000 Yes, it is.

00:53:53.000 Wow, well, he went deep.

00:53:55.000 Dude, this is...

00:53:55.000 That's cool.

00:53:56.000 They're doing shit, but you can't...

00:53:57.000 I don't want to...

00:53:57.000 Spoiler alert.

00:53:59.000 No, I won't say...

00:54:00.000 No, no, I don't say...

00:54:00.000 Listen, I won't tell anybody because it's a real recent show, but they do some shit that I've never seen people do on TV where I'm like, wow, you can do that now?

00:54:07.000 Kill somebody with blowjobs?

00:54:08.000 It feels kind of Twin Peaks-ish or something.

00:54:10.000 Yeah, it's freaky.

00:54:11.000 It's kind of David Lynch-ish...

00:54:13.000 Is it gay?

00:54:14.000 No, no, it's scary, man.

00:54:16.000 It's interesting, man.

00:54:18.000 I like it.

00:54:19.000 Dude, but to get back to the Occupy Wall Street thing, it's fucking insane how it's spreading all over the globe right now.

00:54:28.000 Yeah, not just in America.

00:54:29.000 It's spreading everywhere.

00:54:32.000 It's funny how many videos people have taken up.

00:54:36.000 What are you doing over there?

00:54:37.000 Sorry about that.

00:54:38.000 I got the Mayan calendar here.

00:54:39.000 I'm clutching it as we talk about the revolution.

00:54:42.000 You know, people are always trying to marginalize things like, did you ever see those videos that there's a really funny guy made with Sarah Palin's people waiting in line for a book signing of Sarah Palin and he's interviewing them in Columbus, Ohio.

00:54:55.000 And they're all almost retarded.

00:54:57.000 They have no idea what she stands for.

00:55:00.000 They have no idea what's wrong with this country.

00:55:05.000 They're hooked into the cult of personality.

00:55:09.000 So it's clip after clip of him interviewing these people and these people just being completely fucking clueless.

00:55:15.000 And I've seen a few of those where people have done that about the Occupy Wall Street movement.

00:55:21.000 Where they sit down with some young kid and they take the kid and they...

00:55:24.000 You know, they catch him on some facts and they, you know, they show, school him about corporate taxes.

00:55:30.000 You know, this is like one snotty guy with an English accent and found one dumb dude.

00:55:34.000 But I can't believe that that's the only person you ran into, stupid.

00:55:37.000 That's the video you made?

00:55:38.000 You went down there, there's a hundred thousand people sleeping on the ground screaming at these fucking cunts and whores who've been ruining and poisoning our financial system and all you can find is this one guy.

00:55:50.000 That's your depiction?

00:55:51.000 Yeah.

00:55:52.000 It's weird, right?

00:55:52.000 Well, they want to sabotage me.

00:55:54.000 Breitbart was down at Occupy LA. You know who Breitbart is?

00:55:57.000 He was down at Occupy LA. I was there with a friend of mine.

00:56:00.000 Heidecker.

00:56:01.000 Tim Heidecker.

00:56:01.000 We went down there together and fucking passed Breitbart on the street.

00:56:06.000 You know who Tim Heidecker is?

00:56:07.000 Tim and Eric show.

00:56:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:08.000 I love that show.

00:56:10.000 And this is one of my favorite shows.

00:56:11.000 We're walking down the street, and not a name drop, I'm only saying it because this seems really out of character if you know that show.

00:56:18.000 Walking down the street, past fucking Breitbart and Heidecker, I didn't even recognize him, Heidecker, no hesitation.

00:56:26.000 It's like, hey, Breitbart, you piece of fucking shit!

00:56:30.000 Get the fuck out of here, you fucking piece of shit!

00:56:34.000 Screaming at Breitbart, like, instantaneously pissed.

00:56:37.000 Breitbart's like, yeah, yeah!

00:56:39.000 Heidecker's like, you dope!

00:56:41.000 He caps it off with you dope, but it was so awesome to see.

00:56:45.000 I'm like, dude, what the fuck?

00:56:47.000 There was no filter.

00:56:49.000 It was like when my dog sees a squirrel.

00:56:52.000 It was just this instantaneous, you motherfucker!

00:56:56.000 Why is Breitbart such a piece of shit?

00:56:57.000 Well, because he slants his stories.

00:57:02.000 He got in trouble recently because this black lady is in charge of some form of housing or something.

00:57:09.000 I can't remember the exact thing, but she was giving a speech.

00:57:13.000 And talking about how there was a white family that needed some kind of financial help from this organization.

00:57:20.000 And she's like, you know, they're white and I didn't want to help them.

00:57:26.000 So that was the first, remember that?

00:57:28.000 And then the next part is her being like, but then I realized I should help them.

00:57:32.000 But Breitbart only puts up the part where she's like seemingly a racist.

00:57:37.000 That gets her fucking fired.

00:57:39.000 Yeah.

00:57:39.000 And then they tried to rehire her, but she wouldn't go back.

00:57:43.000 She's like, fuck you if you're gonna fire me for some bullshit that Breitbart pissed up on the internet.

00:57:49.000 What she actually said was that she realized that it's not about who's black or who's white.

00:57:58.000 It's about who needs things and who needs help.

00:58:01.000 It was like a lesson.

00:58:02.000 She was talking about when she was younger or earlier in her life, how she thought about things, but now she realized differently.

00:58:09.000 She was just talking about growing as a human being.

00:58:11.000 If you don't start off perfect, you have to shoot yourself in the fucking head.

00:58:15.000 You can't have ever been a racist when you were younger or said racist things because you were being insensitive or dumb or conditioned by your environment.

00:58:22.000 The idea that people can't Can't grow.

00:58:25.000 It's gross.

00:58:26.000 But then that mollusk, Breitbart, that human fucking slime, he feels okay.

00:58:32.000 That's just creating evil.

00:58:35.000 To me, if you want to believe in evil, that guy Breitbart is an example of that, where you can rationalize showing a skewed depiction of something that you've seemingly intentionally put up there to fuck someone over and to try to push your agenda ahead Well, that's just basic internet journalism.

00:58:55.000 I mean, the internet, that's what you do.

00:58:58.000 You take a section of something, put a dot, dot, dot, take it out of context, and you can put it on an article and have that be something that someone finds, and then they'll read your stupid site.

00:59:10.000 Let's help people do it.

00:59:11.000 People do that in MMA reporting, they do it in everything, man.

00:59:14.000 Well, that's fucked up.

00:59:15.000 Of course it's fucked up, but that's how it's done.

00:59:19.000 Right, I mean, that's the problem.

00:59:20.000 You watch a fucking news...

00:59:22.000 What he's doing, though, in that one situation, what he's doing, it's especially sleazy, because someone exposed themselves to him in a really introspective way.

00:59:34.000 where she was honest about her own shortcomings and realized the right thing to do and did the right thing.

00:59:42.000 So when someone exposes himself like that and sort of does it in a way where they're trying to let you know how they think in a better way and that that's the right way to think, and then you just take a little snippet of that and make them look like a cunt.

00:59:56.000 Like that's just a shitty human move.

00:59:58.000 That's a shitty thing for a human to do.

01:00:00.000 Well, he's a tarantula.

01:00:01.000 And the fact that people like that are allowed to carry on, the fact that people like that are allowed to continue to spread their poison and lies and filth throughout the world without anyone doing anything to stop it.

01:00:15.000 Like fucking Glenn Beck.

01:00:16.000 Did you see that quote by Glenn Beck saying that Occupy Wall Street protesters are going to drag you out of your homes or something?

01:00:23.000 What?

01:00:24.000 Yeah, people were tweeting.

01:00:26.000 Well, listen.

01:00:28.000 They will.

01:00:30.000 He's right.

01:00:31.000 You think they find a banker's house?

01:00:32.000 You think when they get a fucking giant group of them and there's one cunt that got $100 million in the bailout and he got his giant parachute reward for whatever for fucking over X amount of people and they know he's right behind some gates in New Haven, Connecticut or wherever the fuck they'd be.

01:00:48.000 I guess Bridgeport.

01:00:49.000 That's where all the rich people live.

01:00:50.000 Dude, yeah.

01:00:52.000 People are going to go after that guy.

01:00:53.000 Of course they are.

01:00:54.000 This is a mob, man.

01:00:56.000 This is a mob.

01:00:57.000 It's not a bad thing.

01:00:58.000 It's not a bad thing.

01:00:59.000 There's way too many drum circles in that mob to be dragging bankers out of their house.

01:01:03.000 I think a lot of them are enjoying it.

01:01:04.000 You say that.

01:01:05.000 You say that.

01:01:06.000 But, look, no one's doing anything violent, and I'm not accusing anyone of doing anything violent.

01:01:11.000 What I am saying is that if there was one guy's house...

01:01:14.000 And you knew that this one guy was responsible for a lot of evil fucking shit.

01:01:19.000 And a lot of people lost their homes.

01:01:21.000 And a lot of people became homeless.

01:01:22.000 And a lot of people lost their life savings.

01:01:24.000 And this guy is prospering.

01:01:27.000 Are you talking about the president?

01:01:31.000 Are you talking about the White House?

01:01:32.000 No, I'm talking about better, the people who pay the White House.

01:01:35.000 Right, yeah.

01:01:36.000 Well, you know, man, I don't know.

01:01:38.000 I think that you definitely have got to...

01:01:41.000 At some point, if you really do want to have a revolution, you're going to have to...

01:01:46.000 You know, maybe do a little dragging out of houses here and there.

01:01:49.000 Exactly.

01:01:50.000 You know, like if that is what you want, I just think that we're, I don't know that this is, but I don't know.

01:01:54.000 I mean, the crowd psychology, it really could spread and perhaps, that's the weird thing about this kind of, like very tiny little, in the grand scheme of things, the very first We're seeing the spark of revolution.

01:02:08.000 We're seeing a fire of freedom.

01:02:11.000 It's a fire that springs up when people are being oppressed, and it's a beautiful thing to see.

01:02:16.000 It's a beautiful type of fire, and it's a very dangerous type of fire, and it's killed millions of people throughout time.

01:02:23.000 But, you know, when you see the very first spark of it like that, and you think, holy shit, There could be, living among us right now, the future's equivalent of George Washington.

01:02:35.000 There could be, right now, living among us, the first post-revolution leader.

01:02:40.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:41.000 Someone right now, if this shit spread and there was a coup...

01:02:44.000 Listen, you don't want to put that thought out there.

01:02:46.000 The cult of personality and some wacky motherfucker think he's going to be the next Jesus.

01:02:52.000 The beautiful thing about this whole Occupy Wall Street is there's no leader.

01:02:56.000 That's the beautiful thing.

01:02:57.000 This is a hive mind conclusion.

01:02:59.000 It's way better this way.

01:03:00.000 Your idea sucks.

01:03:02.000 The idea of having one new George Washington cunt, one new shithead.

01:03:06.000 Listen, fuck all those leaders.

01:03:07.000 We don't need leaders.

01:03:08.000 We all know what's right.

01:03:10.000 We all know what's right.

01:03:11.000 And what's right is that this system sucks.

01:03:12.000 Once this system gets broken down, then they need to come up with a new leader.

01:03:15.000 Joe, rise to power.

01:03:18.000 Listen to me.

01:03:19.000 Take the throne!

01:03:21.000 They need someone who's done a lot of mushrooms.

01:03:26.000 That's what they need.

01:03:27.000 Yeah, sure.

01:03:28.000 Well, they need a group of people.

01:03:30.000 Yeah, of course.

01:03:31.000 Here's a fun thing to think about.

01:03:32.000 It's fun to think about, okay, let's say that Obama and the entire government get their feelings hurt by Occupy Wall Street, and they're like, all right, you guys, here are the keys.

01:03:42.000 Come on in.

01:03:43.000 Run the show.

01:03:44.000 And you are one of the people that gets picked.

01:03:46.000 Okay.

01:03:46.000 What do you do?

01:03:47.000 How do you redo things?

01:03:49.000 What are the steps you take to redo things?

01:03:52.000 Do you get rid of the Federal Reserve?

01:03:53.000 I guess that's the first thing.

01:03:54.000 That would be like saying, here, clean out Ted Bundy's car and you can drive it.

01:04:00.000 That's what that would be like.

01:04:01.000 Why would you want to take over this crazy fucking organization?

01:04:04.000 This organization that has deep, deep roots in criminal behavior and murder all over the globe.

01:04:10.000 Yeah, but if you...

01:04:11.000 You're just going to take over and what?

01:04:12.000 You're going to make everything...

01:04:14.000 I don't know.

01:04:14.000 Oh, instead, we're going to drop lollipops and flowers on everybody and pull out of all...

01:04:18.000 What are you going to do, though?

01:04:19.000 You wouldn't even...

01:04:20.000 How the fuck...

01:04:20.000 Like, you remember you were talking about StarCraft?

01:04:22.000 Talking about all different things you have to manage and click on this and click on that.

01:04:26.000 Imagine trying to run the United States of America, the military-industrial complex and its deep, deep, deep roots into the financial system and the CIA and the NSA and the fact that the CIA is essentially a shadow government, a government inside the government that does everything, including murder people.

01:04:45.000 It's all of it.

01:04:47.000 It's like you try to take over this?

01:04:48.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:04:49.000 How could you?

01:04:50.000 So what's the answer?

01:04:51.000 Well, the answer is you would never get...

01:04:52.000 First of all, you can't have access to all the fucking top secret information until you become the president, right?

01:04:57.000 And even then, we don't know what the fuck they really tell you about.

01:05:00.000 So you would have to go there and then learn everything that the American public doesn't learn.

01:05:04.000 Learn everything about what we're doing in Beirut.

01:05:06.000 Learn everything about what we're doing in Israel.

01:05:09.000 Everything that we've got going on in Pakistan.

01:05:10.000 You would have to fucking be abreast of all of it if you were really the leader.

01:05:15.000 I'm not even saying one leader.

01:05:17.000 I'm saying, imagine if...

01:05:18.000 But I'm saying it's impossible to fix.

01:05:20.000 I'm saying, what would you do when you get in there?

01:05:22.000 So if it's impossible to fix, then what's the next best solution?

01:05:26.000 It has to be an internet-based system.

01:05:29.000 We have to have a system of government that's through the internet because through the internet people can really communicate.

01:05:34.000 You can have civilizations and you can have communities on the internet.

01:05:37.000 I have a community.

01:05:38.000 The Rogan Board.

01:05:39.000 It's a community on the internet.

01:05:41.000 And we've established clear patterns of behavior in that community.

01:05:44.000 And you know, it's hard for any message board when you have a bunch of people to keep people in line, keep people cool.

01:05:50.000 But generally speaking, that message board is pretty filled with interesting people, cool conversations, and if you're a cunt, they throw you in the retard room.

01:05:58.000 And there's a special...

01:06:00.000 It's like an observatory.

01:06:01.000 Yeah, the holding cell.

01:06:02.000 And then you get a pink name, and you can only talk with the other assholes.

01:06:05.000 It's like all the assholes get lumped in together.

01:06:07.000 That is a community.

01:06:08.000 And that's a community where you have just a few people running in, and people get upset that the few people that are running it are being too, you know, they're...

01:06:16.000 Closing things down and yelling at people and abusing power and then you have to scale things back and you have to make some sort of a happy medium, a happy community where everybody agrees.

01:06:27.000 And the only way to do that in our world right now, the thing that makes the most sense to me, is the internet.

01:06:34.000 Because the internet is a way that everybody has...

01:06:36.000 A fair shot at communicating who they are.

01:06:38.000 Right.

01:06:39.000 You have a fair shot of expressing yourself.

01:06:40.000 You have a fair shot at agreeing and disagreeing.

01:06:42.000 I think it's the Reddit system.

01:06:44.000 I think Reddit's figured it out with the upvote system.

01:06:46.000 It's some version of that.

01:06:48.000 Perfect.

01:06:48.000 Something like that.

01:06:49.000 Yeah, that's very similar to what I was talking about.

01:06:51.000 Like, having a message board, having an online community.

01:06:55.000 You know, real-life communities, of course, you've got to deal with a lot of different shit.

01:06:58.000 It's a lot more complicated.

01:07:00.000 But I think the idea that we can run the world Right.

01:07:15.000 Right.

01:07:18.000 Right.

01:07:21.000 But don't you think we're still going to have a problem with, like, the same reason why you look at, like, in the middle of the country, there's still going to be people voting for Annoying Orange, you know, in those stupid, annoying videos where you see on YouTube, and you're like, how does that have 90,000 hits?

01:07:35.000 Who's watching this movie?

01:07:37.000 And so you have the majority of the people, you know what I mean?

01:07:40.000 Yeah, I see what you're saying.

01:07:41.000 You know, look, the real issue is we're all trying to pretend that everyone's equal.

01:07:46.000 And everyone's not equal.

01:07:47.000 Right.

01:07:48.000 We're just not.

01:07:49.000 We're not equal of mind.

01:07:50.000 We're not equal of body.

01:07:51.000 We're not equal of chance.

01:07:53.000 We're not equal of opportunities.

01:07:56.000 We're not.

01:07:57.000 It's a random hodgepodge of human beings.

01:07:59.000 And because of that, people are very hesitant to admit that if you were going to make a really big, important decision, there's some people that shouldn't be included in that The fallacy being the majority is always right.

01:08:14.000 Right, yeah.

01:08:14.000 Especially in a country that's been babyfed, like this motherfucker has, for the last few decades.

01:08:21.000 We've been babyfed.

01:08:22.000 There's no fights here on our soil.

01:08:24.000 We get attacked once.

01:08:25.000 And we go all apeshit and create two wars with people that never touched us and somehow justify the entire thing.

01:08:31.000 Meanwhile, we're attacked by suicide bombers.

01:08:33.000 The people that attacked us are dead on impact.

01:08:36.000 And yet we still branch out all over the globe.

01:08:39.000 This is our one thing.

01:08:40.000 We've been baby-fed our whole existence.

01:08:43.000 So for us...

01:08:46.000 So it's some kind of like, so the idea would be, and by the way, I'm not expecting you to invent some new form of government right now on a podcast, but it's a fun thing to think about.

01:08:55.000 Like, okay, so it's like some kind of upvote system, but that still implies a majority still making the decision.

01:09:02.000 It's always going to be hard.

01:09:03.000 It's always going to be hard.

01:09:04.000 There's no perfect way to do it, but I think you can develop a good...

01:09:10.000 Make the voting system be really expensive.

01:09:14.000 What the fuck?

01:09:15.000 Why would you do that?

01:09:16.000 That's ridiculous.

01:09:17.000 Make the voting $50 a month?

01:09:20.000 I lost my train of thought because of that.

01:09:21.000 How dare you?

01:09:22.000 No, no, no.

01:09:22.000 But what I'm saying is the dumber person doesn't have the high-paying job, so they can't...

01:09:27.000 No, that's not true.

01:09:28.000 There's a lot of fucking real idiots that are really rich.

01:09:32.000 You'd be amazed, dude.

01:09:33.000 Business owners.

01:09:34.000 I've had emails with business owners.

01:09:35.000 Where they send me emails and I'm just like, you thought that's the spelling of that?

01:09:39.000 Right.

01:09:39.000 You know, or what the fuck?

01:09:41.000 This guy has like 100 employees, you know?

01:09:43.000 Some people are just ambitious, but they're idiots.

01:09:45.000 They're just fucking...

01:09:46.000 They figure out a way to bulldog their way through things, but they're still stupid as fuck.

01:09:50.000 Like this Herman Cain character.

01:09:52.000 He's a Bible-believing Christian.

01:09:54.000 He wants to be the king.

01:09:56.000 Oh, dude, let me tell you this.

01:09:57.000 I was going to tell you before the podcast.

01:10:00.000 You know, Herman Cain has been quoting, and man, if you pull it up, it's a funny quote.

01:10:05.000 Sometimes in his speeches, a couple of speeches, he's like, to quote a A special poet.

01:10:12.000 And he quotes Donna Summers.

01:10:14.000 He says it's a poet.

01:10:15.000 He quotes Donna Summers.

01:10:16.000 And what he's quoting is the theme song that she wrote for the Pokemon movie.

01:10:22.000 So Herman Cain is quoting Donna Summers from a Pokemon movie.

01:10:28.000 Yes!

01:10:28.000 What is the message?

01:10:30.000 Can you look it up, the thing?

01:10:31.000 It's not even like that smart a statement.

01:10:35.000 It's like stupid.

01:10:36.000 You can play the song.

01:10:38.000 If you look up the song on YouTube, you'll find a video with like Pokemon dancing around.

01:10:44.000 Alright, here it is.

01:10:45.000 A poet once said, Life can be a challenge.

01:10:48.000 Life can seem impossible.

01:10:50.000 But it's never easy when there's so much on the line.

01:10:56.000 That's Donna Summers from the Pokemon movie.

01:10:58.000 Economic engine moving.

01:11:00.000 By putting fuel in the engine, all of the rest of it won't matter.

01:11:04.000 A poet once said, life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.

01:11:12.000 We have a lot on the line.

01:11:13.000 Now, look up Donna Summer's Pokemon and play the musical version of what he quoted.

01:11:20.000 And do you know his tax plan?

01:11:21.000 You know about his tax plan, right?

01:11:23.000 He wants to tax...

01:11:24.000 9% 999 is his tax plan and it's the same tax plan from SimCity.

01:11:30.000 So he's quoting Pokemon, and his economic system is based on SimCity.

01:11:37.000 Does he have kids?

01:11:39.000 No, he's got grandkids.

01:11:40.000 That's what it is.

01:11:40.000 I bet he was just sitting there going, I like what she just said right there.

01:11:44.000 Now how am I going to do it as a Bible-believing Christian?

01:11:46.000 What are some tenants?

01:11:48.000 SimCity worked for me.

01:11:51.000 It's amazing, man.

01:11:52.000 And also the fact that he said that thing about the poet, not knowing someone's just going to do a simple Google search and the Pokemon theme's going to come up.

01:12:00.000 Well, he probably is.

01:12:01.000 Maybe he's a Pokemon player and he thinks that's cool.

01:12:03.000 If he was a Pokemon player, he would get my vote.

01:12:06.000 That would be awesome.

01:12:07.000 Yeah, I would vote for him right away if he played Pokemon.

01:12:10.000 But Joe, the other thing I was telling Brian, his tax plan, Ermin Cain's got this tax plan, 9%, 9%, 9%.

01:12:16.000 But you know where that comes from, right?

01:12:19.000 No.

01:12:19.000 SimCity.

01:12:20.000 Or Devil Worshippers.

01:12:21.000 It's the same tax plan they use in SimCity.

01:12:26.000 EA's really excited about it because it's their basic tax plan.

01:12:30.000 Are you serious?

01:12:30.000 Look it up.

01:12:31.000 Look up.

01:12:32.000 Ermin Cain, SimCity.

01:12:33.000 It's amazing.

01:12:34.000 That's funny.

01:12:36.000 So he got his plans from video games?

01:12:41.000 Pokemon and SimCity were two major influences on who may be the Republican presidential candidate.

01:12:46.000 I am voting for him.

01:12:47.000 He's just a guy they're moving into position to take the black people away from Obama.

01:12:52.000 The black people can have a different alternative to support someone that's intelligent.

01:12:58.000 I mean, they went through an amazing time.

01:13:00.000 First black president ever.

01:13:02.000 Incredibly articulate and intelligent.

01:13:04.000 But now, you know, Most people in this country are disappointed with Obama.

01:13:09.000 They say his approval rate is some ridiculously low, like 30% or something.

01:13:13.000 That's an asshole.

01:13:14.000 So that's 70% of the people.

01:13:15.000 That's a lot of black people out there.

01:13:16.000 They're disenfranchised.

01:13:17.000 And their idea is to use this Herman Cain guy and go, look at this.

01:13:21.000 We got a very intelligent, hard-nosed guy who's super successful, made his way to the top all on his own.

01:13:29.000 Yeah, a business owner.

01:13:30.000 He owns Godfather's Pizza.

01:13:31.000 Are you serious?

01:13:32.000 Yeah.

01:13:32.000 I am voting for this guy.

01:13:33.000 That's the best pizza ever.

01:13:35.000 Shit, Godfather's Pizza.

01:13:36.000 That's all you need.

01:13:37.000 If you want a retard like Brian.

01:13:38.000 Diary on bread.

01:13:39.000 Seriously, did you guys have Godfather's growing up though?

01:13:41.000 No.

01:13:42.000 Oh, it's delicious.

01:13:42.000 Is it?

01:13:43.000 What?

01:13:44.000 Dude, I had Nicky's Pizza in White Plains, New York.

01:13:48.000 It was right down from Executive Billiards.

01:13:50.000 It was the best fucking pizza on the planet.

01:13:52.000 You gotta have real East Coast pizza.

01:13:54.000 The water's different.

01:13:55.000 Pizza out here is just not the same.

01:13:57.000 People say that.

01:13:58.000 It tastes good.

01:13:58.000 It tastes pretty good here.

01:13:59.000 I had a friend.

01:14:00.000 It's still good.

01:14:00.000 I had a friend who would order pizzas from New York, and there's special services that will rush pizzas that are on dry ice from New York to you.

01:14:09.000 Whoa.

01:14:10.000 So he ordered one of these pizzas.

01:14:11.000 He said it was terrible.

01:14:12.000 There's places in Los Angeles that ship the water over here.

01:14:14.000 Yeah.

01:14:15.000 I think Boston Pizza does that, don't they?

01:14:17.000 They ship it from Boston.

01:14:18.000 Isn't that weird that there's a difference in the water?

01:14:21.000 Yeah, it is weird.

01:14:22.000 Yeah.

01:14:23.000 What the fuck is the difference?

01:14:24.000 I didn't know it was the water.

01:14:25.000 I thought it was something else, like the barometric pressure.

01:14:28.000 They say bagels are no good out here either.

01:14:31.000 Really?

01:14:31.000 Yeah.

01:14:32.000 It could be moisture in the air, too.

01:14:34.000 It could be a lot of things.

01:14:35.000 It's the fluoride in the water.

01:14:36.000 It's probably not so fucking good to be living in an oven like this.

01:14:38.000 No moisture in the air.

01:14:40.000 Whenever you go to Houston in July, you go, oh, wow, this is what...

01:14:44.000 It's like to be in wet air.

01:14:46.000 Wet, damp air.

01:14:47.000 Well, I'll tell you this.

01:14:47.000 If you didn't know anything about the planet and someone flew you around the planet and said, where do you want to live?

01:14:53.000 You're not going to be like, hey, what's into that giant yellowy cloud of smog?

01:14:57.000 I think I want to live there.

01:14:58.000 That overpopulated thing festering with yellow smog.

01:15:03.000 Let's live there.

01:15:03.000 I don't want to live around all this green shit.

01:15:06.000 Well, that has nothing to do with the climate anyway.

01:15:08.000 People aren't living...

01:15:09.000 People are living here for the industry.

01:15:12.000 That's why you live here.

01:15:13.000 Well, the industry's here because there's not that many rainy days.

01:15:16.000 That's why they first moved the movie business here.

01:15:19.000 They're like, Jesus, we got this one spot where it never gets ridiculously hot.

01:15:22.000 Phoenix gets stupid hot.

01:15:24.000 Phoenix cracks it up even more than L.A. So it's a little bit cooler than Phoenix.

01:15:28.000 It's by the ocean, and it never rains.

01:15:31.000 Oh, but think of that fucking ocean.

01:15:33.000 Once I went down to Venice Beach on a whim and went swimming in Venice Beach, I was pissing out of my asshole, man.

01:15:41.000 I got so sick from swimming.

01:15:43.000 There are people swimming there.

01:15:44.000 There are people at Venice Beach floating in the waves, having a great time.

01:15:48.000 Fucking diapers floating by.

01:15:50.000 Really?

01:15:51.000 Yeah, it's filthy water.

01:15:53.000 I'm an idiot for swimming in it, but it's disgusting.

01:15:55.000 Not to mention they do these measurements of the amount of feces in the sand.

01:16:00.000 It's a beach at the edge of a massive city.

01:16:05.000 And all that water runs in there, all the fucking chemicals, and God knows what weird shit.

01:16:11.000 Old fucking decomposing hookers and just nasty shit rushing out of the city.

01:16:17.000 Dead rats and fucking hypodermic needles.

01:16:20.000 I'm surprised people swimming at Venice Beach don't just immediately dissolve in the water.

01:16:25.000 It's disgusting.

01:16:26.000 It's probably good for your immune system to swim there.

01:16:28.000 It's like a challenge.

01:16:29.000 It's like lifting weights for your immune system.

01:16:32.000 If you did it all the time, you'd probably never get sick.

01:16:35.000 You could just go and swim anywhere, man.

01:16:37.000 Well, maybe.

01:16:39.000 I don't know.

01:16:39.000 You've got to go up the coast anyway.

01:16:41.000 If you're going to go out in the water around here, you have to get away from population density.

01:16:45.000 What do you think about that garbage patch situation?

01:16:48.000 That's a scary thing.

01:16:50.000 The garbage patch in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

01:16:52.000 I think there's more than one now.

01:16:53.000 The Guyer, whatever they call it.

01:16:55.000 The North Atlantic Guyer.

01:16:57.000 There's a weird name for it.

01:16:58.000 This is just dead water.

01:17:01.000 Nothing's living in it.

01:17:02.000 No, I'm talking about the garbage patch.

01:17:04.000 Yeah, they have a weird name for it.

01:17:07.000 There's a name for it.

01:17:08.000 They call it a gyre.

01:17:10.000 I don't know.

01:17:10.000 I'm talking about where all the garbage from all the different countries pools up into one big pocket.

01:17:15.000 Yeah, I know.

01:17:15.000 And it's all swirled together.

01:17:16.000 It's like rubber duckies.

01:17:18.000 But there is a different thing with dead water.

01:17:22.000 They've had mass fish die-offs.

01:17:24.000 Oh, no.

01:17:25.000 We're talking about the same thing.

01:17:27.000 Okay, we are.

01:17:28.000 Okay.

01:17:28.000 So what we're talking about is this big slick of, I mean, not even, it goes below the surface, deep below the surface, of plastic.

01:17:35.000 It's like the size of a state.

01:17:37.000 Like, it's enormous.

01:17:38.000 It's like Texas-sized.

01:17:40.000 And it's just the one spot where, and a lot of it is like broken down, because apparently a lot of it is plastic.

01:17:46.000 And after a long time in the ocean, all this plastic is broken down to just like this gooey, sloppy fucking shit, man.

01:17:54.000 And it's an enormous area that is covered in garbage.

01:17:58.000 The people who discovered this and then the people who've been investigating it, the scientists, were horrified.

01:18:04.000 I mean, what a crazy discovery to find out that You know, when you go, wow, these people are living right next to the ocean, and the ocean seems to be okay.

01:18:12.000 No, the fuck it does.

01:18:13.000 No, there's giant patches of all people's bullshit that they've thrown in there.

01:18:19.000 Yeah, it just rolls into the middle.

01:18:21.000 And no way to fix it, either.

01:18:25.000 My mom has some property on this little island off the coast of Georgia, and it's kind of empty out there.

01:18:33.000 You go walking on the beach there, because no one's there.

01:18:35.000 You go walking on the beach there, and the shit that comes up on that beach...

01:18:39.000 it's like dude it's the weirdest fucking thing cuz it's like bottles from Jamaica and like well like there was we found like one of those old like refugee rafts that somebody had like fabricated together just kind of twisted and washed up there it's so fucking weird how interconnected everything is via the ocean at It's really, really strange that the currents just carry like...

01:19:04.000 Coconuts.

01:19:05.000 It's fucking...

01:19:06.000 It's crazy.

01:19:08.000 It's like people love to live under the illusion that we're not all connected.

01:19:14.000 That's one of the things that people really like to believe that there's no interrelation between what you do and the rest of the world and what the rest of the world does and you when the truth of the matter is we're completely connected in every single fucking way.

01:19:31.000 We're all one big thing Pretending that it's made up of individuals.

01:19:39.000 And the result of that kind of thinking is you get fucking a giant patch of dead water in the middle of the ocean.

01:19:46.000 And that's not affecting other things.

01:19:49.000 God knows what that's affecting.

01:19:51.000 Having that much dead space that used to be alive and filled with...

01:19:55.000 Fish and dolphins and whales and God knows what else.

01:19:59.000 It's just dead space.

01:20:00.000 I used this quote in the last podcast, but I'll say it again because you're here, because it's the perfect quote.

01:20:05.000 Some guy said that the human race and the way it deals with the environment and the resources is like people that are living in a 10-story building.

01:20:13.000 And every day, you go down to the first floor and you pull a couple bricks out.

01:20:17.000 And then you get on the roof and you start building another floor.

01:20:20.000 That's it.

01:20:20.000 That's amazing.

01:20:21.000 It's okay for now.

01:20:22.000 But we all know that eventually it's going to fall apart.

01:20:25.000 This shit isn't going to work.

01:20:26.000 Time of summer.

01:20:27.000 Pokemon.

01:20:28.000 Pokemon quote.

01:20:29.000 Yeah.

01:20:29.000 Pokemon quote.

01:20:30.000 That's who's running for president.

01:20:33.000 He's never going to be president.

01:20:34.000 That's a joke candidate.

01:20:35.000 It's like Sarah Palin.

01:20:36.000 It's like an entertainment candidate.

01:20:38.000 Yeah.

01:20:38.000 Well, he's talking crazy.

01:20:40.000 When you start talking about his 7-7-999, whatever the fuck it is, tax plan.

01:20:45.000 999. Everyone looks at that and goes, get the fuck out of here.

01:20:48.000 It's going to cost people more money.

01:20:49.000 It's going to cost them 99% more money.

01:20:52.000 This is stupid.

01:20:53.000 They're going to save money.

01:20:55.000 The 1% are going to pay less.

01:20:57.000 You're supposed to pay more than 9% taxes when you've got billions of dollars, man.

01:21:01.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:21:02.000 Time to move to Canada.

01:21:04.000 Time to move to Canada.

01:21:06.000 But this guy is a real, like, no-nonsense sort of extremist character, right?

01:21:13.000 You gotta be extremist.

01:21:14.000 See, that's another funny thing is, like, people right now, that's an insult.

01:21:21.000 That's what they say when they're trying to discredit someone.

01:21:23.000 He's an extremist.

01:21:24.000 But it's like, is a fireman that's in a house...

01:21:28.000 With a sledgehammer bashing down doors to get your kids to pull them out because the house is on fire, that's an extremist too.

01:21:34.000 He's got to be a fucking extremist.

01:21:36.000 He can't go into the house and kind of piddle around and be like, oh, sit down and watch some TV, and then I'll go get your daughters out.

01:21:43.000 So what is your point?

01:21:43.000 My point is that right now, the overpopulation, the fact that there's so many people on the planet and that there's horrific wars happening, people have nuclear weapons, maybe it's a time where people need to be extremists.

01:21:58.000 So you need to be Herman Cain?

01:22:00.000 Oh, no, not Herman Cain.

01:22:01.000 That's what you're talking about.

01:22:02.000 Oh, I thought you were talking about the guy who gave you that awesome quote about taking bricks out from under the house.

01:22:06.000 Oh, okay.

01:22:07.000 Man.

01:22:08.000 Sorry, I got lost.

01:22:09.000 I was trying to follow you.

01:22:10.000 I was like, I don't know what you're saying.

01:22:11.000 Like suddenly I'd become a supporter of Herman Cain.

01:22:15.000 No, I just didn't understand.

01:22:16.000 I thought you were being ironic.

01:22:17.000 We need Cain, Joe.

01:22:18.000 I was just not getting it.

01:22:20.000 No, I'm sorry.

01:22:21.000 I got confused.

01:22:22.000 Yeah, well, yeah, we certainly need something different than now.

01:22:26.000 And you keep saying like as if there's a leader.

01:22:28.000 If there's one person that's going to pull it off.

01:22:30.000 And I keep saying that.

01:22:31.000 I think that's one of the coolest things about this whole...

01:22:34.000 Occupy Wall Street thing is because I don't think there's a fucking leader.

01:22:37.000 There's no leader.

01:22:38.000 You can't arrest one person and then the whole thing shuts down.

01:22:41.000 There's not one figurehead.

01:22:42.000 There's not one voice.

01:22:43.000 I've heard Janine Garofalo talk about it, but she's not the voice.

01:22:48.000 Who's the voice?

01:22:48.000 There's no voice.

01:22:49.000 I don't know.

01:22:50.000 I mean, there's different people who've got really smart...

01:22:53.000 When I went down to Occupy Wall Street, there are these guys who have a podcast called Red List Radio, and they've like...

01:23:01.000 It really explained a lot of shit about the Federal Reserve and quantitative easing to me in a way that really helped me understand it.

01:23:08.000 I'm not saying it needs some central leader, but I think it definitely can't hurt to have some nodes that are aggregators of whatever the information coming in is, which we already kind of have with Reddit.

01:23:22.000 You can go on Reddit and get good up-to-date information on OWS and stuff.

01:23:26.000 I think it's evolving.

01:23:27.000 I think it's going to evolve into something, and eventually there will be, there's got to be someone, if you don't want it to just be a chaotic mass, unless you believe that there's some kind of gestalt that's going to happen with this group of people that's going to somehow harmonize and create some kind of,

01:23:44.000 there's going to be an effect, some kind of weird effect from all these people having sort of the same idea, then Cool, but someone still has to be like, here's what we'd like to see changed.

01:23:58.000 Here's what we want to have happen.

01:24:00.000 And they are doing that.

01:24:01.000 They're saying, you know, abolish the Federal Reserve.

01:24:03.000 That's one of the things they want to have happen.

01:24:06.000 They want to tax, well, there's different versions of this, but tax like stock transactions or tax Wall Street.

01:24:12.000 There's like, they want to do that.

01:24:14.000 I think they want to tax the, well, I don't know what they all want.

01:24:16.000 You can't say what they all want because they all don't want that.

01:24:19.000 But there is stuff that keeps bubbling up about their basic demands that does seem to be mostly...

01:24:24.000 Well, the real question is, what is this going to accomplish?

01:24:26.000 That's the real question.

01:24:27.000 That's why it's so exciting to me, because this is a period of uncertainty.

01:24:32.000 It's really obvious that people are pissed off.

01:24:34.000 It's really obvious that the cat is out of the bag.

01:24:37.000 Everyone knows this is a corrupt system.

01:24:39.000 It's horribly, horribly corrupt.

01:24:41.000 The Congress is corrupt.

01:24:42.000 The Congress is bought and paid for.

01:24:44.000 The President is bought and paid for.

01:24:45.000 Everyone's bought and paid for, and no one's doing anything to stop any of this fucking hoarding that's going on.

01:24:51.000 The fact that Obama, when he gave the bailouts, was trying to limit their rewards to $500,000.

01:24:59.000 You remember that?

01:24:59.000 As if, well, they need more than everyone else.

01:25:02.000 We'll limit them to $500,000.

01:25:04.000 No, it should be they get nothing.

01:25:06.000 None of them get anything.

01:25:08.000 If your fucking company needs to get bailed out, you don't get to get rewards.

01:25:11.000 You don't get huge, giant fucking corporate payouts because it's in your contract.

01:25:16.000 No, your contract doesn't exist.

01:25:18.000 There's no fucking business anymore.

01:25:19.000 It's all done.

01:25:20.000 You cunts, you stole all the fucking money.

01:25:22.000 You guys robbed.

01:25:23.000 You don't get a big bonus for that, you fuckhead.

01:25:26.000 Do you think this is part of the global awakening that everyone has been predicting forever, this kind of transitional shift in consciousness?

01:25:35.000 Yes, I think so.

01:25:37.000 Obviously, right now, the financial system is insanely complicated.

01:25:42.000 I've tried many, many times to sit down and truly wrap my head around stocks and bonds and dividends and shorting.

01:25:50.000 I've given it a real good Solid auditing of how the whole process works.

01:25:57.000 And it's fucking insanely complicated.

01:26:01.000 There's so many players and so many pieces and so many things.

01:26:04.000 And just the idea behind confidence raising and lowering the value of something and stocks climbing and falling and the whole thing being alive and mobile and constantly fluctuating.

01:26:16.000 It's like, what the fuck is this?

01:26:18.000 What the fuck?

01:26:19.000 What the fuck do you got going on here?

01:26:21.000 This is what we're running our system on?

01:26:24.000 We're running the money of our system on this crazy, unpredictable, sporadic, fucking pulsating, changing thing.

01:26:33.000 Numbers, ups and downs, and so, bye!

01:26:36.000 This chaos is the foundation of our society.

01:26:40.000 I'm like, wow, that's kind of nutty.

01:26:42.000 That shouldn't be that way.

01:26:43.000 The society should be much more stable.

01:26:46.000 I understand that people have gotten insanely wealthy through this situation.

01:26:49.000 And they don't want to change it because they get good at it and they know how to continue to be insanely wealthy through this situation.

01:26:55.000 But that ain't right, man.

01:26:57.000 It's supposed to be based on something.

01:26:59.000 It's supposed to be one piece of gold equals one donkey.

01:27:03.000 That's the easy way for us to do it.

01:27:06.000 Yeah.

01:27:06.000 You start getting into stock markets and dividends.

01:27:09.000 I understand there's a need for credit.

01:27:11.000 I understand there's a need for a lot of things.

01:27:12.000 I understand there's a lot of shit that's going on where it's going to be weird, where people are holding money and saving money and putting money here and zeros there, but it's got to be a way more simple system than the system we have now.

01:27:23.000 Because there's too much room to fuck with it.

01:27:24.000 There's too much room for shenanigans.

01:27:28.000 It doesn't have to be the system we operate under.

01:27:30.000 The system we operate under should be simple and stringent and should be really easy to follow.

01:27:35.000 And that's way easier said than done, but that's what we really need to do.

01:27:39.000 Well, yeah, it's definitely, that's a big part of it, but there's like a thing underneath that too, which is that the people have got to start learning that buying constantly thinking that you need to have new shit Yeah, that's bad.

01:27:55.000 But you know what's worse?

01:27:56.000 Interest.

01:27:56.000 You know what's worse?

01:27:57.000 This idea that a credit card company can charge you 30 fucking percent of your money.

01:28:01.000 This idea that interest for the longest time was illegal.

01:28:05.000 It was against the law.

01:28:07.000 You couldn't ask for interest.

01:28:09.000 But people...

01:28:10.000 What I'm saying is...

01:28:11.000 For hundreds of years.

01:28:11.000 Those credit card companies...

01:28:13.000 And again, this is like...

01:28:14.000 I know right now this is a long way away.

01:28:16.000 Maybe it'll never happen.

01:28:17.000 But that couldn't function.

01:28:19.000 Credit card companies couldn't function if people...

01:28:24.000 Had learned to gain pleasure from things that wasn't based on matter.

01:28:29.000 Well, that's sort of silly, because when were they...

01:28:32.000 Are they allowed to buy things?

01:28:34.000 Sure.

01:28:34.000 What if they don't want to have a fucking stack of money on them?

01:28:36.000 Then credit cards are good.

01:28:37.000 No, you can totally...

01:28:39.000 Like what Brian said.

01:28:40.000 He grew up poor and he wants to get an Xbox and all that stuff, but I think that as people start getting smarter and start evolving, what...

01:28:49.000 Hopefully will happen is people will be able to distinguish, overcome this idea that they're going to be happier if they have a really nice car.

01:29:00.000 You are correct.

01:29:00.000 However, I think you're naive in your portrayal of what credit cards get used for.

01:29:05.000 I think most people, especially people who have families, they use their fucking credit cards to eat.

01:29:08.000 They use their credit cards to put gas in their car.

01:29:10.000 They use their credit cards to pay for things so they don't have a big pile of money.

01:29:13.000 It's not simply a matter of the entire country is filled with materialists that have overstepped their boundaries.

01:29:18.000 No, there's people out there struggling, dude.

01:29:20.000 And that's what they use their credit card for.

01:29:22.000 And it's not saying, if you didn't have a credit card, you'd be better off, because you wouldn't be a materialist.

01:29:27.000 No, no, no.

01:29:28.000 I know exactly what you're saying.

01:29:30.000 I know it seems naive.

01:29:31.000 But it is...

01:29:31.000 I'm saying, like, you're addressing the external manifestation of an internal problem that's existing in our culture as an idea of what it means to be happy.

01:29:46.000 Right.

01:29:46.000 That's what I think.

01:29:48.000 And I know people need credit cards now to pay for their family and all that stuff.

01:29:52.000 To pay for other credit cards.

01:29:53.000 To pay for other credit cards.

01:29:54.000 But I know a lot of people, their lives have gotten to the point where they get in this fucking car that they use credit to buy to drive to a job...

01:30:05.000 To drive two hours, a two-hour commute to get to a job where they have to work all fucking day long, and then they come back in the two-hour commute completely exhausted, and they think this is the way we're supposed to be living.

01:30:17.000 That's no way to live.

01:30:19.000 That's a terrible way to live.

01:30:20.000 You're right, but what's the alternative?

01:30:22.000 Well, I think the idea is to begin to open yourself up to the alternative.

01:30:26.000 Clearly, it's something to do with staying more local, like having communities of people.

01:30:31.000 I'm not saying let's go back to villages, Joe, but I'm saying there is something to be said for communities of people that are living close together and doing more than just waving at each other when they walk down the street.

01:30:41.000 But that's a broad solution for a singular problem that a person has if they are stuck in that sort of situation.

01:30:46.000 When is the solution for a guy who does have credit And does have a fucking car and does have a mortgage and has a family and is driving fucking an hour and a half every day to go to work.

01:30:56.000 What is the solution for that guy?

01:30:57.000 Because it's not a village.

01:30:59.000 It's not like moving to a village.

01:31:00.000 Well, no, no.

01:31:00.000 I mean, the solution for that guy is to, like, start, you know, working his way out of those fucking handcuffs.

01:31:07.000 Right, but that's the real problem that most people find themselves in.

01:31:10.000 Most people find themselves in a situation where they make barely enough money to get by and not nearly enough money to break free.

01:31:16.000 To step away, especially if you have children.

01:31:19.000 A lot of people, when they came to the United States, there were intentional communities that happened.

01:31:26.000 I had this great book on utopias where people were coming here.

01:31:29.000 People came here, like the pilgrims, they wanted to start religious utopias.

01:31:34.000 That's what they were trying to do, is restructure society in a way that they could live in a In paradise, in a kind of Christian-based paradise.

01:31:43.000 It clearly didn't work.

01:31:45.000 It turned into this.

01:31:48.000 So what you'll hear, it's the same thing you hear about communism when you hear about people saying they want to create another society or experiment with a new way to live.

01:31:56.000 People are like, it doesn't work.

01:31:58.000 You can't do it.

01:31:59.000 Making these alternative communities doesn't work.

01:32:01.000 There's no way.

01:32:02.000 They always fall apart.

01:32:03.000 They always collapse.

01:32:04.000 They end up like Waco or whatever.

01:32:06.000 But I think there is a way to do it.

01:32:09.000 I don't know yet.

01:32:10.000 I haven't gotten high enough yet.

01:32:12.000 I haven't eaten enough mushrooms yet.

01:32:13.000 But I do think that there is a way to do it.

01:32:16.000 I don't know what it is.

01:32:17.000 I think it has to be a small number of people.

01:32:19.000 I think when you get over a certain amount of people, there's a thing called diffusion of responsibility.

01:32:25.000 If there's 300 people there, you're more likely to get raped than if there's three.

01:32:32.000 Because there's 300 people there.

01:32:33.000 All those people think someone's gonna help.

01:32:35.000 Someone's gonna step in.

01:32:36.000 Someone's gonna step in and help.

01:32:38.000 But no one does.

01:32:39.000 And they don't feel responsible because there's so many other people there.

01:32:42.000 Well, no one did.

01:32:42.000 I didn't step in, but no one did.

01:32:44.000 If it's just you and that one person getting raped, you feel obligated.

01:32:48.000 You have a responsibility.

01:32:50.000 You're a human being and you're right there.

01:32:51.000 When we get past the diffusion of responsibility number with human beings, which is exactly why we all should have a real philosophical problem with drones, And wars overseas with people that we don't understand and we don't know and we don't know why we're doing this.

01:33:07.000 It's easy when it's so many people and it's so far away.

01:33:11.000 It's way over there.

01:33:12.000 But if it's right here at home, then it hits you fucking hard.

01:33:16.000 Then you feel that responsibility.

01:33:18.000 The weather underground.

01:33:19.000 Bring the war back home.

01:33:20.000 Human beings, I think, are still designed in a system.

01:33:26.000 Our minds function in a system that works with a small group of people where we know everybody.

01:33:32.000 When we branch out of that, we are not designed to deal with The internet, like communicating with people in complete anonymity.

01:33:41.000 Why do you think people are such fucking complete rabid cunts online?

01:33:44.000 Well, because they're frustrated in their everyday life, and when they get online, they have this anonymity, and they can just lash out at people and fuck with people and score points, and they actually enjoy it.

01:33:53.000 They get off on it.

01:33:54.000 Do you think we could ever get to a point where we could be, like, every state is their own country, like how it should be, you know, like how it is, kind of, like you have your state laws, but have less of a nation government.

01:34:07.000 They're just there to protect us.

01:34:08.000 You would say that, but we fuck with too many other countries, man.

01:34:10.000 You need national security.

01:34:12.000 Yeah, but they won't do that, because then they start fucking putting you in situations.

01:34:16.000 Look, Eisenhower warned about the military-industrial complex, and it sounds like some, you know, Alex Jones sounds like some nutty shit when, you know, you start talking about the idea that people are trying to go to war for money.

01:34:29.000 But they fucking are, man.

01:34:30.000 And the only way to keep people in war is you have to force people.

01:34:36.000 You have to fucking make them go attack people.

01:34:37.000 You have to ship them over to different places.

01:34:40.000 Yeah.

01:34:40.000 You know, when you have a bunch of states, if every state really was like its own country, and the United States didn't act as a whole, it wasn't out there fucking around with all those different parts of the world, we wouldn't have, you know, it would be a completely different setup.

01:34:54.000 Well, it seems like that would make a lot more sense, though, because it seems like it's too fucked up on a large scale that breaking it down into 50 pieces would be the only way to really save any, you know, get any kind of order from it.

01:35:06.000 The only way to get any order out of it is it's got a Break down and then be rebuilt properly.

01:35:13.000 That idea is an idea that I teeter on.

01:35:18.000 I don't want it to break down.

01:35:21.000 I don't want it to break down either.

01:35:22.000 I don't want the fucking thing to collapse.

01:35:24.000 I like my life and I like it here and I don't want the power to shut off.

01:35:30.000 But I consider it and I keep thinking like, well...

01:35:36.000 Probably it's going to require some kind of blip at that level for everything to get better.

01:35:42.000 But I love letting my mind consider, like, okay, but what if there's another option?

01:35:47.000 Well, the other option is technology.

01:35:49.000 That's it.

01:35:49.000 The other option is there's going to be, this is what I, if I had to guess what I think is going to happen, barring natural disasters or any extreme world conflict that becomes nuclear, What's going to happen is we're going to have some sort of a connection through online communication that literally allows people to look inside each other's heads.

01:36:13.000 Yeah, that's what I think.

01:36:14.000 I've thought that.

01:36:14.000 Do you think the same way?

01:36:15.000 Oh, fuck yeah, man.

01:36:16.000 I've thought that.

01:36:17.000 I've thought it's the ultimate...

01:36:18.000 Yeah, what it is is it allows you to experience another person's consciousness.

01:36:21.000 Yes, exactly.

01:36:23.000 Exactly.

01:36:23.000 It allows you to even be inside another person's mind.

01:36:27.000 And then we all can link up as one mind And that's not That's not nearly as difficult as it sounds When you think about what we've already been able to do The fact that we can send video Through the fucking sky You know, when I was in Australia My wife was sending me pictures of the baby And she sends me pictures of the baby And I get them in a second Blip, blip, blip Images, photos, video.

01:36:50.000 It's fucking craziness, man.

01:36:52.000 The idea behind it is insane.

01:36:53.000 You can send a fucking picture and somehow or another it goes through these...

01:36:58.000 Where does it go?

01:36:58.000 It goes through the air and then eventually it hits some fucking metal box.

01:37:02.000 It's got electricity and it sends it to the other side of the fucking planet in a second.

01:37:08.000 Through the ocean and over the sky.

01:37:10.000 How the fuck is it even getting there?

01:37:12.000 Who knows?

01:37:13.000 I have no idea, but I know it was there.

01:37:15.000 Bink!

01:37:15.000 And that, to me, is way crazier, way crazier than the ability to experience someone else's consciousness.

01:37:22.000 You experience your consciousness, right?

01:37:25.000 You tune into your own consciousness.

01:37:26.000 You're there.

01:37:27.000 You're inside your head.

01:37:28.000 How do we know it's not just a simple frequency?

01:37:30.000 You just tune into it, and your mind and my mind lock up together and become one consciousness.

01:37:37.000 Well, that's a funny moment, too, because what would happen is that as this technology began to spread, it would start off in a laboratory where one scientist would merge minds with another scientist, and that would change their lives forever.

01:37:48.000 Just merging minds with one person in a real way It's going to forever change you because you'll know how similar you are to someone else.

01:37:56.000 You'll know if maybe you're completely different.

01:37:58.000 Maybe this person is actually happy in your whole life.

01:38:02.000 You've been lying about being happy to yourself and suddenly you feel someone who's really happy and you're like, oh shit, that's what it feels like.

01:38:10.000 That's what real happiness feels like.

01:38:12.000 And then you know how to become happy yourself.

01:38:14.000 So what would happen is it would spread from the laboratory.

01:38:17.000 It would spread out.

01:38:18.000 But eventually, people would rise up against it.

01:38:21.000 They'd be like, don't plug into the mind.

01:38:25.000 If you plug into the mind, you won't want to come back.

01:38:27.000 You won't be able to come back to your life.

01:38:29.000 People would fight it.

01:38:30.000 It would be a form of suicide.

01:38:32.000 Because after you've experienced consciousness at the scale of like the merged minds of like 15 million people...

01:38:39.000 How are you going to come back to your one little mind?

01:38:42.000 It would just turn into these pods of people.

01:38:44.000 You'd be like, just get out of my head, you freaks.

01:38:46.000 I gotta go beat off.

01:38:48.000 What are you gonna do?

01:38:49.000 You're gonna beat off into the hive mind?

01:38:50.000 Fuck yeah, the sex.

01:38:52.000 There'd be huge orgies online.

01:38:54.000 It would probably be just some massive orgasm.

01:38:58.000 Also, think of the learning.

01:39:00.000 I don't know how to do jujitsu, but I merge consciousness with someone who's an expert at it, and suddenly I'm like, learn everything that they know about it.

01:39:11.000 Everyone would instantaneously gain the information of everyone else.

01:39:15.000 Everyone would become experts simultaneously and that would create like a surge forward in evolution.

01:39:21.000 I think that's that fucking singularity McKenna's talking about.

01:39:24.000 Everybody's like, the computers are gonna crush us!

01:39:27.000 It's like, no, that's not what it is.

01:39:28.000 We're just gonna merge with them.

01:39:30.000 We're gonna become part of an electronic web of consciousness and the moment everyone becomes an expert That's the moment that, you know, with our minds together, that's when you create the time machine, or that's when you create teleportation, or that's when you create some new form of life.

01:39:48.000 It seems like it's inevitable.

01:39:50.000 Inevitable.

01:39:50.000 And it is inevitable.

01:39:51.000 You said this to me once, Brian, about the human brain.

01:39:56.000 You said it's input-output.

01:39:57.000 It's like, all we have to do is figure out what the fucking output is of this electricity up in your brain.

01:40:04.000 Understand how that works.

01:40:05.000 Figure out a way to input that into a machine where it can decode it.

01:40:08.000 And then you've got it.

01:40:09.000 Then you have electronic telepathy, and they're already sort of learning how to identify certain patterns in the brain.

01:40:18.000 You know how they can do a brain scan on someone and show them a picture of a room and tell if they've been in that room or not?

01:40:25.000 Do you know about that?

01:40:26.000 Yeah.

01:40:27.000 That's pretty crazy, isn't it?

01:40:28.000 It's fucked up, man.

01:40:29.000 It's fucked up if you want to try to get away with something.

01:40:32.000 That's incredible.

01:40:34.000 You've been in here before.

01:40:35.000 You're like, no, I haven't.

01:40:36.000 Never seen it before.

01:40:37.000 No, you definitely have.

01:40:38.000 We can tell.

01:40:40.000 The next step is, okay, can we extract images from a person's mind?

01:40:45.000 We've talked about this before.

01:40:47.000 Images and video.

01:40:49.000 They've already done this.

01:40:51.000 That's it, man.

01:40:51.000 It's really crude right now.

01:40:53.000 It still looks pretty good.

01:40:54.000 It looks kind of like if you were to blow up an old cell phone video from 1991 or something like that and blow it up big.

01:41:01.000 So yeah, it's inevitable.

01:41:03.000 So then the next step, of course, is going to be perfecting that technology.

01:41:07.000 And then the next step is going to be like, okay, so I know that when someone's feeling happiness, then this is the part of his brain that gets activated.

01:41:15.000 So now all I've got to do is record that activated part of his brain, play that video back inside someone's brain, figure out a way to stimulate someone else's brain with that same activity, and boom!

01:41:27.000 Instead of fucking...

01:41:28.000 There'll be emotional records.

01:41:31.000 You know what I mean?

01:41:31.000 Instead of like record players, they'll be like these emotional devices where it'll be like the feelings of a summer day.

01:41:38.000 I don't even know if we're going to get that indulgent, man.

01:41:40.000 If we all link up, I think the link up is probably going to be before the recording.

01:41:44.000 I think the link up is probably going to come first.

01:41:47.000 I'm hoping.

01:41:47.000 I'm hoping it doesn't just become a self-indulgent wine fest that people get together and...

01:41:52.000 I don't know.

01:41:53.000 They'll be recording.

01:41:54.000 Drink and watch people experience breakups.

01:41:57.000 A terrible breakup.

01:41:58.000 It's all memories of breakups.

01:42:00.000 They go through it on purpose.

01:42:01.000 Oh my god, I went through the worst breakup last night.

01:42:03.000 My husband came home.

01:42:05.000 It's not your husband.

01:42:06.000 It's his fucking thing.

01:42:06.000 Okay, but in the program, my husband came home.

01:42:09.000 We had four children together.

01:42:10.000 We were struggling.

01:42:11.000 And he was running off to Mexico with his secretary.

01:42:14.000 And I was devastated.

01:42:15.000 And he said, let the kids starve.

01:42:16.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:42:17.000 And he left me.

01:42:18.000 It was horrible.

01:42:18.000 And he hit me.

01:42:20.000 And he fucked me.

01:42:21.000 And then he left me.

01:42:22.000 People will write reviews of them.

01:42:23.000 If that was a real memory, people would cry, and they would go, oh my god, you want a good cry?

01:42:28.000 You have to try this.

01:42:29.000 There wouldn't be award shows for best breakups?

01:42:33.000 Wasn't there a movie about this?

01:42:35.000 Of course there was.

01:42:36.000 There was underground tapes of it and shit.

01:42:40.000 I think it's definitely going to get to that place.

01:42:45.000 I can't wait, man.

01:42:45.000 Well, the idea, if you can see something, okay, if you look at something and then that registers as an image and you can see that image on a computer, what about your imagination?

01:42:53.000 What about, is it possible to see, I mean, you're not seeing anything, but what's being registered when you are having a visual experience in a dream?

01:43:05.000 What exactly, where is that registering?

01:43:07.000 It's registering in your imagination, I guess.

01:43:09.000 Is there a frequency that can be tuned into, just like it is with that image when you see it from the eyes, is there a frequency that can be tuned into it?

01:43:17.000 Yeah, must be.

01:43:18.000 Must be, right?

01:43:19.000 It's got to be.

01:43:19.000 I mean, definitely something's happening.

01:43:21.000 There's some biochemical reaction that's happening that's producing the effect of you watching fucking Werewolf 69. It's going to all boil down to...

01:43:32.000 We're just going to slowly break down the matter of reality itself.

01:43:36.000 That's what we're at right now.

01:43:38.000 You know, McKenna described what's going to happen with the exponential increase in technology, that it's like a funnel.

01:43:44.000 And that if you spin a quarter around the lip of the funnel, it takes a long time to go around a circle.

01:43:50.000 But as it gets lower and lower in the funnel, it picks up speed and goes faster and faster and faster.

01:43:55.000 And that's really what it's like.

01:43:57.000 It takes just a millisecond to make a full revolution now, whereas before it was years ago.

01:44:01.000 Yeah, it's going to be, and we're experiencing the very, very beginning of that.

01:44:07.000 And it's weird how a lot of that is coming out in the form of cell phones.

01:44:12.000 Do you think that that's too convenient?

01:44:14.000 What?

01:44:15.000 That the world is going to change and the reality itself is going to change during the time of your life.

01:44:22.000 Do you ever stop and think that, wow, maybe this is a work of fiction?

01:44:25.000 Well, no, I don't.

01:44:27.000 I can't think it's a work of fiction because this year, if you watch technological advances, this fucking year, this year, for the first time as far as I know, because I know phones have had voice recognition technology, but this year, for the first time in human history, Now we have a device where you can talk to it like a person.

01:44:49.000 I don't think you understand what I'm saying.

01:44:50.000 I'm saying life itself, a work of fiction.

01:44:54.000 Oh, right.

01:44:55.000 Like, this is too convenient.

01:44:56.000 This story is all playing out.

01:44:58.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:44:58.000 Oh, fuck.

01:44:59.000 That so much of it seems so bizarre, and so much of it seems so fake, and...

01:45:04.000 Speaking of Breitbart, he's the one who busted Andrew Weiner for showing his cock.

01:45:08.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:45:10.000 These wars, this economy occupy Wall Street rising up just as you're getting older.

01:45:16.000 Just as your body's slowly starting to slow down and you're checking your heart for weird things every now and then and meanwhile everything's picking up overseas.

01:45:27.000 There's more war.

01:45:28.000 And then we might go to war with Iran.

01:45:30.000 It's almost like as your life becomes more and more complex and reaches the inevitable end, your story is getting more and more complicated.

01:45:40.000 Your story is getting more and more involved.

01:45:42.000 Your story, the story of the world that you live in, this work of imagination that whoever the fuck is hearing this has created.

01:45:50.000 And each one of us has created our own little version of it.

01:45:53.000 And they're all intertwined inexorably in some just crazy, meshy matrix of reality and thinking and love and peace and anger and bullshit and all intertwined together.

01:46:05.000 Just signals, just ones and zeros flying around through fucking space.

01:46:10.000 And as you get further and further along, your version of it just gets more and more fucked.

01:46:16.000 The point where you can't drink the water anymore and the sky's fucking brown and pollution and earthquakes and war and krakens.

01:46:24.000 Krakens?

01:46:25.000 Krakens.

01:46:25.000 They found evidence of a kraken.

01:46:28.000 Oh, and that's the dinosaur bones.

01:46:30.000 Yeah, they believe at one point in time there was a giant motherfucker of an octopus.

01:46:36.000 They have fossils of imprints of giant...

01:46:41.000 Suction cups.

01:46:42.000 It's one of the things that led them to believe this.

01:46:44.000 And the dinosaur graveyards that were clearly arranged the same way octopuses arrange, or octupi, arrange their kill.

01:46:53.000 Right.

01:46:54.000 Yeah, and so they think that, you know, the idea that sailors are always afraid of the kraken.

01:46:57.000 That might have been a real animal at one point in time, but it was a soft-tissued animal, like an octopus is.

01:47:02.000 So when it's gone, it's gone.

01:47:04.000 It doesn't leave any evidence.

01:47:07.000 Yeah, so you think that that's novelty.

01:47:10.000 That's like McKenna's novelty.

01:47:11.000 Stuff like that popping up is like...

01:47:13.000 Because McKenna talked about how...

01:47:15.000 I'm thinking that this whole thing might be someone's imagination.

01:47:18.000 It might be your imagination.

01:47:20.000 It might be my imagination.

01:47:21.000 It might be a combination of everyone's imagination.

01:47:23.000 I mean, things are real.

01:47:24.000 There's real laws to this life.

01:47:27.000 But goddamn, it operates like a work of fiction.

01:47:30.000 Well, yeah.

01:47:31.000 It does kind of seem like that.

01:47:33.000 It does seem like you'll run into someone that you haven't seen in a long time, and you've thought about them, and it's just the odds of running into them.

01:47:43.000 Right.

01:47:43.000 But people will quote statistics, and people will try to talk you out of thinking that way, and they'll tell you, well, I went through my entire life, and I'm real, and you didn't just think me up, and I have a...

01:47:52.000 Memory of my childhood and I'm really good at football and I learned how to play that over years and years of hard work.

01:47:57.000 So I'm not a part of your fucking imagination, pal.

01:47:59.000 I'm a real person.

01:48:01.000 You might be a part of your own imagination.

01:48:04.000 You might be creating your thing with your imagination as I create mine with mine, and they intertwine.

01:48:09.000 It's not either or.

01:48:10.000 You know what this reminds me of, and stop me if I've already said this before, but did I ever talk about the idea of what would happen if the universe suddenly gained consciousness out of nothingness?

01:48:21.000 Did I ever talk about this idea I had when I was tripping?

01:48:24.000 It's like, so like, because I was thinking like, okay, what would happen if the universe woke up all of a sudden?

01:48:29.000 Nothing was here.

01:48:30.000 It was nothingness.

01:48:30.000 Pre-Big Bang conditions, right?

01:48:32.000 The universe wakes up.

01:48:34.000 Pure consciousness.

01:48:35.000 Pure fucking consciousness.

01:48:36.000 No differentiation.

01:48:37.000 Just consciousness.

01:48:38.000 Just pure awareness, right?

01:48:39.000 No body.

01:48:40.000 No body.

01:48:41.000 But infinitely conscious of itself.

01:48:44.000 Completely aware.

01:48:45.000 Now, I was thinking, like, the initial reaction to that sense of being aware that you're nothing, that you're nothingness, it's this weird resonance.

01:48:55.000 It would create horror, is what it would do.

01:48:57.000 It would create this anguished terror from waking up and realizing you're here, you're some primordial thing, and then that terror would be- Why?

01:49:06.000 I don't get it.

01:49:07.000 Why?

01:49:08.000 Why would that be terror, especially if you don't have a body and you have no ego?

01:49:11.000 Where's the terror?

01:49:13.000 The terror comes from, this idea came to me when I was thinking like, what would happen if something fucked up and my consciousness got trapped in like a table or something like that?

01:49:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:26.000 Oh my God, how high were you?

01:49:27.000 I was tripping.

01:49:28.000 I was on LSD. And I was thinking, because I was looking at, this is when I was in science class.

01:49:32.000 And I still remember, I was tripping in high school.

01:49:34.000 I had my head in my arms.

01:49:36.000 And I was looking at the fucking table.

01:49:38.000 And for a second, it felt like my consciousness had shifted into the table and was kind of like trapped there.

01:49:43.000 But isn't that a school of thought, that everything has a consciousness?

01:49:46.000 Yeah.

01:49:47.000 We've talked about it several times that planets may very well be some sort of a super organism that can't express itself in movement to us, so we don't think of it as a living thing or as a conscious thing.

01:49:58.000 But the whole planet might have a type of consciousness.

01:50:01.000 Well, imagine this.

01:50:03.000 Let's just put into this weird idea, the idea that this infinite consciousness had some ability to experience consciousness.

01:50:10.000 Aloneness.

01:50:10.000 You know, loneliness, aloneness.

01:50:12.000 It was just by itself.

01:50:14.000 That's ridiculous because that's a human idea or an animal idea.

01:50:16.000 And the only reason why you have this feeling of needing to be with someone is because that's how you fucking stay alive and don't get eaten by jaguars.

01:50:23.000 It's built into our system.

01:50:25.000 My point is...

01:50:26.000 You're attaching like these human thoughts to the universe.

01:50:29.000 We're the universe.

01:50:31.000 We are the universe.

01:50:32.000 Humans are the universe.

01:50:33.000 Right, but we're obviously here with a task.

01:50:36.000 We are obviously some weird little crazy button-pushing monkey with a task.

01:50:41.000 And this need for this task has ingrained into us all of these really needy characteristics that you can't associate gods with having.

01:50:50.000 I'm not saying gods at all.

01:50:52.000 I'm saying...

01:50:53.000 Universal consciousness.

01:50:54.000 The universe itself.

01:50:55.000 We are...

01:50:56.000 One inarguable thing is we're an extrusion of the universe.

01:50:59.000 That's what we are.

01:50:59.000 We're the universe extruding itself in the form of a thing that is capable of feeling loneliness.

01:51:05.000 Right.

01:51:06.000 Well, what you're saying is that the universe is everything, including people.

01:51:09.000 Yeah, of course.

01:51:10.000 It's everything.

01:51:10.000 The whole universe isn't just the planets.

01:51:12.000 It's not just the stars.

01:51:14.000 It's every organism.

01:51:15.000 Everything.

01:51:15.000 So we're a part of the universe.

01:51:16.000 And we're the universe experiencing itself in this specific way.

01:51:21.000 The universe has...

01:51:23.000 It's divided itself.

01:51:25.000 The universe has divided itself into a lot of shit.

01:51:28.000 And part of that shit is feeling.

01:51:31.000 Lonely, pain, suffering, angst, horror, happiness, joy, all of it, it is the universe experiencing itself.

01:51:42.000 There's no way to deny that.

01:51:45.000 Unless you think humans aren't part of the universe, unless you think you're some kind of thing that's distanced or outside of everything else, you are You are infinity sticking its head into this little bubble of whatever this place is and feeling.

01:52:00.000 So what I thought was maybe what fucking happened was this consciousness, well what did happen is we do know it exploded.

01:52:10.000 We don't know if there was something before the Big Bang, but we do know it blew up.

01:52:14.000 Something exploded.

01:52:15.000 So I was thinking maybe it had some kind of fucking nervous breakdown.

01:52:18.000 It shattered into a bunch of fucking infinite pieces of which we're one part.

01:52:23.000 We're part of that.

01:52:24.000 What we are is one tiny little broken shard of the universe that blew up a long time ago.

01:52:31.000 And it's like...

01:52:32.000 What I considered, what I thought would be like this initial state of absolute horror, I think everyone in their own lives, in their own way, is dealing with it in a very small level.

01:52:41.000 The fear of death, the fear of merging back into the nothingness, the fear, all that stuff manifests in your life as fear and weakness.

01:52:52.000 And it's like, we're like tiny little fragments of the universe trying to fix itself on a minuscule level.

01:52:58.000 That's what I was thinking when I was tripping out.

01:53:01.000 I think of people in a different way.

01:53:04.000 And I think the reason why we have ego and desire and lust and greed and selfishness and, you know, any jealousy and all these issues...

01:53:17.000 They're all negatives and positives.

01:53:20.000 They're all pullers.

01:53:22.000 They're attractors to get us to do specific things.

01:53:24.000 And most importantly, to make sure that things stay in motion and that people continue to innovate.

01:53:30.000 They continue to want to produce things and continue to want to do things that are special.

01:53:36.000 So that they get attention or money or reward or pile up objects.

01:53:40.000 And I think that all these things, whether they're greed or selfishness or jealousy or fear or lust, all of them are essentially numbers or equations in a grand scheme of mathematical...

01:53:58.000 What's the word?

01:53:59.000 Not an algorithm, but like a program, like literally, like everything that exists, whether it's hot or cold or pleasure or pain or all these different things that the human animal and any other animal experiences are to guide that animal into a certain direction, To make sure the deer can keep breeding and staying alive to feed all the mountain lions, it's got to be difficult to catch.

01:54:24.000 It hears a branch snap, boom, the ears turn, they're very big, they pick up everything.

01:54:28.000 Why is all that there?

01:54:30.000 That's all that there is because that deer better be scared as fuck because that mountain lion can run fast, bitch, and you're going to get fucked.

01:54:34.000 So if you want to keep breeding, you want to stay alive, you have to be a scary cat little deer that freaks out.

01:54:41.000 All the shit that we have is designed to make us move in the way that we're moving right All of our fears, anxieties, greed, everything.

01:54:47.000 If I looked at it, I look at it as like a program.

01:54:50.000 I don't look at it as like the universe is going to feel fearful like we are.

01:54:54.000 It is fearful like you are if you're scared.

01:54:57.000 Consciousness is like we are.

01:54:58.000 I don't think that at all.

01:54:59.000 I think that we are moving in this very certain direction and we are influenced by these very certain feelings and energies and emotions because we have a goal to do.

01:55:08.000 We are here on some sort of a weird task of accomplishing something, taking probably most likely the human animal to the next stage of evolution, whether it's some sort of a symbiotic connection that we're going to have with computers, whatever it is.

01:55:21.000 but it seems to me to be progress and technology driven all of it all of it all the greed and lust and material possessions and everything everything that that fuels human beings and all this is this existential wanting you know that i think is because that's that's just like the bee swarming around the queen and making a beehive i think it's the same thing i

01:55:42.000 I think we're moving in a way that's far more complex and we have this illusion of free will and all these other things that are sort of guiding us to believe that there's a much more grandiose What is it?

01:56:03.000 What does McKenna call it?

01:56:04.000 A strange attractor?

01:56:06.000 Is that the idea?

01:56:07.000 So it's like there's a magnet in the future, and that's a dumb word for it, but there's a thing in the future that's drawing us towards it and causing us to organize as it pulls us closer.

01:56:16.000 It's an omega point.

01:56:18.000 Teilhard Deschardins is like There's a Jesuit priest talked about this too, which is that there's an organizing principle in the future that's drawing us towards it in this sort of like spiral that we're moving towards.

01:56:29.000 It's called death.

01:56:31.000 Yeah, but McKenna had a really interesting way of looking at it because McKenna's idea was that...

01:56:35.000 There is a foregone conclusion.

01:56:37.000 There is an end point that must be reached in that what this end point does is it makes things become more and more complex as they reach it until it literally manifests itself.

01:56:50.000 It's manifesting itself in our innovation, in human beings in general, in the massive explosion of change that we have in just a few thousand years have imparted on this planet.

01:57:02.000 Right now we're booting up.

01:57:04.000 The earth is a computer and it's booting up and it's about to go bong and then it's going to be the next thing.

01:57:11.000 I believe that but I think it's fascinating that The universe, as you are and as I am, an extrusion of it, talks about it as it's happening.

01:57:24.000 The universe is trying to decode and understand what's happening to it in the form of human philosophy, in the form of science.

01:57:32.000 Or maybe it just does like you do when you're Zen on stage.

01:57:35.000 Maybe that's what the universe does.

01:57:37.000 Maybe the universe is when you tune into your best moments and you just do.

01:57:40.000 You're just in that zone.

01:57:42.000 You become Zen.

01:57:43.000 Maybe the universe is just ultimate Zen.

01:57:45.000 The Tao.

01:57:46.000 The Tao, exactly.

01:57:47.000 And what we're doing, by tuning into it in little brief moments with brilliant music or a great book or an incredible movie or something that just locks into it, what we're doing is tapping into that groove that you hit when you truly hit anything excellent.

01:58:01.000 And that groove is the universe itself.

01:58:03.000 And that the universe is never scared and alone and all that.

01:58:06.000 That's silly.

01:58:06.000 It's super zen.

01:58:07.000 Why can you say, but it is?

01:58:09.000 How can you say that?

01:58:10.000 You don't know what the universe is.

01:58:11.000 No, I'm part of the universe.

01:58:12.000 I'm just saying.

01:58:14.000 Isn't it possible that your fears...

01:58:16.000 I can tell you this.

01:58:16.000 This little stretch of the universe here, sometimes it gets scared and feels lonely.

01:58:21.000 Well, this little stretch of the universe is its own little thing.

01:58:24.000 But it's still part of the universe.

01:58:25.000 But it's just a little segment that's got to accomplish.

01:58:28.000 Guys, guys, you could all be this.

01:58:29.000 Shut up!

01:58:30.000 It's got a task.

01:58:31.000 You don't think that there's all sort of really pragmatic reasons for fears and for lust and for desires and goals?

01:58:41.000 I think the reason doesn't...

01:58:43.000 I think it seems like we're...

01:58:46.000 I don't know if it's a disagreement, but my conception of it is that...

01:58:51.000 Human beings, just like any other thing in the world, in the universe, in space...

01:58:56.000 Are part of the universe.

01:58:57.000 Part of the universe.

01:58:58.000 And as part of the universe, that means that the experience, the individual experience that you're having is a part of the universe having the experience.

01:59:08.000 Now, the reasons that you're having the experience don't take away the fact that you're experiencing it.

01:59:14.000 So what I mean is if you're happy...

01:59:17.000 Then you are one tiny little pixel of the universe experiencing happiness.

01:59:23.000 If you're scared, you're one tiny little pixel of the universe experiencing fear.

01:59:28.000 Well, that sounds like a nice cop-out to not be a pussy.

01:59:32.000 You're like, oh, I'm not really a pussy.

01:59:33.000 It's the universe.

01:59:34.000 The universe is being a pussy through me.

01:59:35.000 No, yeah, that's hilarious.

01:59:37.000 What I am while I'm crying is not a pussy.

01:59:42.000 That's what I used to always say.

01:59:44.000 It's the universe making me land!

01:59:48.000 What I'm saying is that you automatically associated the universal consciousness with fear and terror.

01:59:57.000 And I think you're justifying it in a backdoor situation by saying that you're a piece of the universe.

02:00:02.000 We're talking about the universe being one consciousness.

02:00:04.000 We weren't talking about any human beings existing.

02:00:06.000 What do you think is the predominant...

02:00:07.000 If there's no goal that the human being has to achieve...

02:00:11.000 And if there's no conscious awareness of the temporary existence of its lifespan because it's not a lifespan, it's not alive.

02:00:17.000 It is universal consciousness that is the universe.

02:00:19.000 Why the fuck would it be scared?

02:00:20.000 That's my point.

02:00:21.000 Well, I think the predominant mood on this planet is one of fear.

02:00:28.000 Oh, man.

02:00:29.000 I can't disagree more.

02:00:31.000 Really?

02:00:32.000 I think people are freaked out.

02:00:34.000 No, man.

02:00:35.000 Some people are freaked out.

02:00:37.000 Part of people are freaked out part of the day.

02:00:39.000 But if you add it up 24 hours in the day and all the people, most people aren't.

02:00:43.000 It's not fucking Mad Max out there, man.

02:00:45.000 It ain't that bad.

02:00:46.000 Oh no, but Mad Max, that kind of fear would be better than the kind of fear that's infected people these days.

02:00:52.000 The kind of fear that's infected people these days is far worse than fighting some fucking Max bandit with a flamethrower.

02:00:58.000 The fear that people experience and...

02:01:01.000 Okay, what fear?

02:01:02.000 Define.

02:01:04.000 What fear are they experiencing all day?

02:01:05.000 Turn on the fucking...

02:01:07.000 Watch the commercial.

02:01:08.000 Okay, is it all news, man?

02:01:09.000 No, not the news.

02:01:09.000 I think a lot of people are out there having a good time.

02:01:11.000 I've met them, man.

02:01:12.000 We were in Ontario, California this weekend.

02:01:14.000 Had a great fucking time.

02:01:15.000 I meet people having a great time, too.

02:01:17.000 It's not...

02:01:18.000 The predominant mood is not fear.

02:01:20.000 Fear is an element in this world.

02:01:21.000 No doubt about it.

02:01:22.000 I think people are...

02:01:23.000 I think a lot of people are...

02:01:27.000 Scared.

02:01:28.000 Yes, but they're also happy, and they're also horny, and they're also drunk, and there's a lot of different room on the dial.

02:01:36.000 There's room on the dial for all these different emotions.

02:01:38.000 To say the predominant one is fear...

02:01:39.000 That's the primary spot.

02:01:41.000 In this country, really?

02:01:42.000 I think in this country, man...

02:01:44.000 Look, times are hard, just like all over the world.

02:01:46.000 Terror alert orange.

02:01:48.000 They don't even do that anymore, Brent.

02:01:49.000 But they did it for a long time.

02:01:51.000 Okay, but I think that people can dwell on that shit, and it makes it way worse than it really is.

02:01:56.000 I think for sure there's some fear out there, but to say that it's the predominant emotion of people that are living their everyday lives working and having sex and playing with their children and going to the movies, I don't think the primary one is fear.

02:02:08.000 I think it's in there, but I think...

02:02:10.000 Fear of death.

02:02:11.000 And it's definitely not as much as it was after 9-11, you know, and shit like that.

02:02:15.000 I think, if anything, it's great.

02:02:16.000 You tend to lean towards the morose.

02:02:19.000 I do, indeed.

02:02:20.000 But you're applying these thoughts to the whole of humanity.

02:02:24.000 I don't mean it as a hopeless thing, though.

02:02:26.000 I don't mean it as a hopeless thing.

02:02:27.000 You don't mean fear as a hopeless thing?

02:02:29.000 Not at all.

02:02:30.000 I think you gotta acknowledge it.

02:02:32.000 Oh man, but you don't have to acknowledge it if you're just living life, enjoying yourself.

02:02:35.000 Go to Hawaii and see how people are just chilling at the beach.

02:02:38.000 Oh dude, do you know what it's like to live in Hawaii as someone living in Hawaii?

02:02:41.000 Look it up.

02:02:42.000 They call it like the golden cage.

02:02:44.000 It's so fucking expensive to live there that you have to work like two or three jobs if you're a native Hawaiian.

02:02:51.000 It's really tough there.

02:02:53.000 So, I mean, maybe fear is the wrong word for it.

02:02:55.000 What does that have to do with just chill out?

02:02:57.000 Well, no, there's people on the beach.

02:02:59.000 The culture is like a chilled out culture is what I'm saying.

02:03:01.000 I think there's tourists on the beach, but also like, listen, I feel like I'm, to defend myself, I feel like I'm driving deeper and deeper into a pessimistic place, and I think that maybe the way that I chose my words is like not exactly right.

02:03:14.000 You speak sometimes in absolutes.

02:03:16.000 And I think you chase down an idea, and I'm guilty as well.

02:03:21.000 You chase down an idea, and sometimes in chasing down that idea, you discard or discount possible other ideas that might interfere with the path that you're on.

02:03:31.000 You know, and that is something that a lot of people do.

02:03:33.000 I do it, too.

02:03:34.000 You know, it's...

02:03:36.000 Just to finish the thought, what I was trying to get at...

02:03:39.000 You're doing it.

02:03:39.000 You're doing it right there.

02:03:41.000 You want to dissolve the fucking...

02:03:44.000 Dissolve the fear, and underneath that...

02:03:47.000 Is love, I think.

02:03:48.000 Okay, what I'm saying is I don't think the universe has any fucking fear at all.

02:03:53.000 I think if the universe was a universal consciousness, one thing that knew everything and was by itself, I don't think it would tweak, you know, because I don't think it needs to be in the buddy system.

02:04:03.000 I think it's the fucking universe.

02:04:05.000 Well, the universe is okay.

02:04:06.000 I think that our fears that we have are all biological.

02:04:09.000 And all of our fears that we have about being alone and all of our fears about dying, they're all biological.

02:04:14.000 They're all just these fail-safe mechanisms designed to keep us running.

02:04:18.000 But the universe as a whole.

02:04:20.000 Okay, the universe as a whole.

02:04:22.000 I understand this point.

02:04:22.000 I'm not saying the universe as a whole is freaking out, but as individual units, definitely parts of it are freaking out.

02:04:28.000 Do you not understand that you are applying individual units to something that you initially said has no individual units?

02:04:34.000 The first thing you were saying was the universe would be nothing.

02:04:37.000 There was nothing there.

02:04:38.000 I'm glad you said this.

02:04:40.000 I'm glad you said this.

02:04:40.000 It lets me throw out an esoteric Hindu word.

02:04:43.000 So I'm happy that you said this.

02:04:45.000 Okay, what is it?

02:04:45.000 The word is, and I'm probably going to mispronounce it, the word is Asinka-Sinka-Beta-Tatva.

02:04:50.000 And what that word translates into is simultaneous oneness and difference, which is the explanation they give for the universe, which is its existing...

02:04:59.000 As an entirety, as a whole, as a gestalt, as one thing.

02:05:03.000 But also, while it's existing as this one thing, it's existing as infinite number of units that are making it up.

02:05:10.000 And so, those units that are making up the sum total, some of those units, their experience is one of fear, or one of anger, or the more negative emotions.

02:05:20.000 And whether or not this is a biological imperative, let's imagine humans didn't even exist at all.

02:05:24.000 off it's just squirrels then the the or animals then those animals are still parts of the universe experiencing uh this certain emotion right but isn't that just so that they can keep breeding isn't aren't these just electrical signals that trigger certain behavior patterns that allow them to continue to their little cycle on earth so whatever the fuck they're there for whether they're to cultivate the ground so that trees grow better So they complete their cycles to dig and aerate the ground.

02:05:50.000 Or whether they're the human animal that fucking sparks the atom that blows up the fucking earth.

02:05:56.000 Whatever it is.

02:05:57.000 That all these moves that they do.

02:06:00.000 There's no real fear.

02:06:01.000 It doesn't exist.

02:06:03.000 It's a charge on the game.

02:06:05.000 It's an influence on the game.

02:06:09.000 It's still...

02:06:10.000 I don't even know why I have to use the word fear.

02:06:12.000 Let's say it's like...

02:06:13.000 You know, orgasm.

02:06:15.000 Because the experience of orgasm is a chemical reaction that's part of some grand equation working itself out doesn't negate the fact that orgasms exist or that they're obviously real.

02:06:27.000 So it's a real thing.

02:06:30.000 You know, and whether or not we feel fear because we're in some predetermined thing that's working itself out or whether or not we feel fear because we're...

02:06:40.000 Well, fear is a motivator, man.

02:06:43.000 It's really simple.

02:06:44.000 We have a lot of investment in fear.

02:06:48.000 We have a lot of investment in love.

02:06:49.000 We have a lot of investment in all these things that are just motivators.

02:06:52.000 They push us in certain directions.

02:06:55.000 Keep us from things.

02:06:56.000 You learn from bark, bark, bark.

02:06:59.000 Animal can kill you.

02:07:00.000 Run away.

02:07:00.000 You're scared of dogs.

02:07:02.000 All these things exist.

02:07:03.000 They just move action.

02:07:05.000 They're just motivators.

02:07:06.000 I'm in no way trying to say that I understand the consciousness of the universe.

02:07:10.000 I'm in no way trying to say that I'm right and you're wrong.

02:07:13.000 What I'm trying to say is you automatically assume that the universe has fear because it has consciousness.

02:07:18.000 And I thought that was really telling.

02:07:20.000 I don't mean to keep going back to this point, but the reason I... Oh, right.

02:07:23.000 Oh, yes.

02:07:24.000 I see what you're saying.

02:07:25.000 The initial idea that the first thing that you would feel...

02:07:28.000 That's what you said.

02:07:29.000 You attached yourself.

02:07:31.000 What is that called?

02:07:31.000 Anthropomosis?

02:07:32.000 You think I projected my...

02:07:34.000 You think I made the ultimate...

02:07:37.000 Okay, so I get it.

02:07:38.000 Fear.

02:07:38.000 I made the ultimate narcissistic error in projecting my own fear.

02:07:42.000 No, no, no.

02:07:42.000 I don't think it's narcissistic.

02:07:44.000 What happens when a baby pops out of a pussy for the first time?

02:07:47.000 They cry.

02:07:47.000 They freak out.

02:07:49.000 Yeah, it's because they change environments.

02:07:50.000 They fucking cry.

02:07:51.000 So in that same way, I think that when the universe first popped out, this universal consciousness, and I also must say that I do not know this.

02:08:00.000 Again, to go back to the original point I made, this happened while I was drooling onto my desk in a science class on acid.

02:08:07.000 But I think that the initial burst of the universe, that feeling, would be very similar to a baby crying.

02:08:14.000 What the...

02:08:17.000 What the fuck?

02:08:18.000 And it would break into a billion pieces with that, what the fuck?

02:08:22.000 And that what the fuck is encapsulated in every single person.

02:08:27.000 And it's our life task.

02:08:28.000 And maybe this purpose you're talking about, maybe we agree on this point, it's our life task to turn that, what the fuck?

02:08:35.000 This is awesome.

02:08:37.000 This is amazing.

02:08:39.000 Oh my god.

02:08:40.000 This is the best thing that could ever happen.

02:08:43.000 And maybe as that feeling begins to escalate inside of people, which are parts of the universe, then maybe it'll keep escalating and escalating and escalating so the universe goes into this like...

02:08:53.000 Amazing cascade into eternal bliss, eternal happiness, a bliss that we can't even imagine, that keeps exponentially increasing and increasing and increasing and increasing, and we're just one tiny node on this movement towards them.

02:09:08.000 You're both wrong.

02:09:08.000 What's the answer?

02:09:10.000 I don't know.

02:09:11.000 Prove me right.

02:09:13.000 Yeah, but you guys are just talking for like 40 minutes on stuff that you both can't be right or wrong about.

02:09:18.000 No, there's no right or wrong, unquestionably.

02:09:21.000 What's wrong with doing that?

02:09:21.000 My problem is, you as a person, I know you very well, and you lean towards fear.

02:09:29.000 You're a very intelligent person.

02:09:31.000 And intelligent people, for the most part, are more scared of things because you realize the variables.

02:09:36.000 And you think of life...

02:09:39.000 I think of the negative results.

02:09:41.000 Yeah, you were talking about people.

02:09:43.000 And by the way, folks sending mean messages on Twitter, no one's arguing.

02:09:48.000 We're just talking.

02:09:49.000 We're throwing these ideas around.

02:09:50.000 What are people saying?

02:09:51.000 Stop being a deuce.

02:09:52.000 Let's dunk and talk.

02:09:54.000 You're not as open-minded as you sound, man.

02:09:56.000 We're throwing ideas.

02:09:57.000 No, this is fun.

02:09:59.000 I understand what we're doing.

02:10:01.000 We're throwing ideas around.

02:10:02.000 And I'm not saying that I'm right.

02:10:04.000 I'm fucking for sure not right.

02:10:05.000 But what I'm saying is you can't just say you know.

02:10:09.000 You can't say the universe has fear.

02:10:12.000 You can't say it's...

02:10:15.000 These subjects are so fucking twisted and bizarre that no one can have an absolute in one way or any other way.

02:10:21.000 But you know what?

02:10:21.000 They're so fun to talk about.

02:10:22.000 And that's something, Brian, you seem to like...

02:10:25.000 Check out.

02:10:25.000 I hate what-ifs.

02:10:26.000 You don't like it.

02:10:27.000 You're wasting your time trying to figure that out.

02:10:29.000 No, no, it's not true.

02:10:30.000 It's like going back and forth.

02:10:31.000 It's not true.

02:10:32.000 You can't say it's wasting your time because it's very entertaining.

02:10:34.000 It's entertaining, but there's no end to it because there's no answer to it.

02:10:38.000 It doesn't matter.

02:10:38.000 Why does it have to have an end?

02:10:39.000 Because that's how my mind thinks.

02:10:41.000 I want to figure out how shit works.

02:10:42.000 I don't want to fucking...

02:10:43.000 That's just wasting your time.

02:10:45.000 I'm not going to need to know what the secret to the life and universe is, if it has conscious, if it's like a baby popping out of a vagina.

02:10:53.000 How do you think you're supposed to be spending your time?

02:10:57.000 Trying to live in the now instead of living in something you'll never figure out.

02:11:00.000 But part of living in the now could be...

02:11:02.000 Yeah, but it's interesting.

02:11:02.000 It's fascinating.

02:11:03.000 It's interesting, but there's no one's right or wrong, though.

02:11:05.000 Yeah, but it doesn't have to be right or wrong.

02:11:07.000 That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it.

02:11:08.000 No, but that's just what I think.

02:11:10.000 That's what I think.

02:11:10.000 So when you guys talk about what ifs, I just be like...

02:11:13.000 You keep away from everything really deep, though, even if it's not what ifs.

02:11:16.000 It's not deep.

02:11:16.000 What ifs?

02:11:17.000 It's just like making up stories that you think are right, which aren't, because you don't know.

02:11:21.000 Well, when you talk about a human...

02:11:23.000 No, man.

02:11:23.000 Listen, he's not just what-if-ing when he's talking about a human being being a representative of the universe because it's part of the universe.

02:11:29.000 It is true.

02:11:30.000 How is that a what-if?

02:11:30.000 No, no, no.

02:11:31.000 I agree with that.

02:11:32.000 Absolutely agree with that.

02:11:33.000 But that doesn't mean that the universe has feelings.

02:11:36.000 The universe does have feelings because you're part of the universe.

02:11:39.000 Alright, if you say it like that, that means to sense, but that's what if you're calling it a universe...

02:11:43.000 That's what I was saying.

02:11:44.000 Well, you're part of the universe.

02:11:46.000 Well, it goes back to what I was saying about earlier.

02:11:47.000 It's like a drum circle.

02:11:48.000 Do you believe it's possible that we are all our own universe and that somehow or another this isn't something that you can bang on with a hammer?

02:11:56.000 It's not...

02:11:56.000 The whole world isn't the material world of things being solid, but there is some sort of a fictional aspect to life, and that it almost is like your imagination and your mind and your intent really does have some effect on physical reality, and that it almost is like your imagination and your mind and your intent really does have some effect on physical reality, and that all of our physical realities, although they seem to be the exact same thing that we're all inserted into, we all have our although they we all have our own unique oneness.

02:12:24.000 And that our unique oneness interacts with everyone else's unique oneness, which is why it's very important to surround yourself with positive people.

02:12:32.000 Then you surround yourself with a bunch of positive universes.

02:12:35.000 You create more and more positive energy.

02:12:38.000 More and more positive experiences.

02:12:40.000 More and more good things are happening to all the people around you.

02:12:43.000 More and more happiness is being interchanged between each other.

02:12:47.000 That's how you really make a real community, right?

02:12:49.000 Right.

02:12:49.000 Yeah, it's your association.

02:12:50.000 It's so important.

02:12:52.000 You're making a community.

02:12:53.000 You're making your own universe, man.

02:12:55.000 Did you...

02:12:55.000 Have you...

02:12:56.000 Practically and woo-woo-y.

02:12:58.000 Because practically, it's just a smart thing to surround yourself with good people.

02:13:02.000 But the idea that you don't...

02:13:04.000 We're not exactly sure with this fuzzy line between consciousness and unconsciousness and sleeping and dreaming.

02:13:11.000 It's all going on and on in one cycle.

02:13:14.000 But we're not exactly sure what...

02:13:17.000 Part of it we're playing all the time.

02:13:19.000 We have to hit on things to be sure.

02:13:21.000 How many times have you had dreams where you...

02:13:23.000 Oh, it's a dream.

02:13:26.000 How do you not know that knocking on things isn't a fucking dream?

02:13:29.000 The whole idea that you can dream.

02:13:31.000 The idea that you can imagine.

02:13:33.000 The idea that there's some...

02:13:35.000 Some mystical part of your brain that sees things that aren't really there and puts them into position and moves them around and gives you a little fucking cartoon light bulb.

02:13:44.000 Bing!

02:13:45.000 And then you write this down and you get together with a hammer and nail and some fucking wood and you create this thing that's never been created before.

02:13:50.000 What the fuck is that?

02:13:52.000 This is something that's manifesting itself in a solid form that has come out of nowhere.

02:13:56.000 I have a feeling that whole nowhere is a real realm.

02:14:00.000 The realm of thinking, the realm of consciousness and imagination, just because you can't bang on it with a fucking hammer doesn't mean it's not a real realm, a huge part of the ingredients of life.

02:14:13.000 And I think that we only measure the shit that we can bang on with a hammer.

02:14:17.000 And we look at the way that people influence their lives.

02:14:19.000 You know, she got a tit job and look what she did to her lips.

02:14:22.000 We look at all the different things you physically do to the stuff that you can hit.

02:14:26.000 That's what we measure and we decide that that's the entire ingredient list of life.

02:14:31.000 And I don't think it is, man.

02:14:32.000 I think there's some woo-woo shit going on, man.

02:14:36.000 There's some woo-woo Deepak Chopra type shit going on that seems ridiculous.

02:14:40.000 You just can't measure it, man.

02:14:42.000 You know what they call, of course, the name for the universe is Maya.

02:14:46.000 You've heard the term Maya, of course.

02:14:47.000 Illusion.

02:14:48.000 Illusion.

02:14:48.000 Sure.

02:14:49.000 And I think there's exercises in some yogic systems where you begin to try to deconstruct exactly what you're saying.

02:14:55.000 You start trying to find what is real.

02:14:59.000 What is real?

02:15:00.000 For example, this table.

02:15:01.000 Take the table, for example.

02:15:03.000 The table is only real in this moment right now.

02:15:06.000 If you were to look at the table through the...

02:15:08.000 And through the course of thousands and thousands of years, you would see this table was trees.

02:15:13.000 And before it was trees, it was seeds.

02:15:15.000 And before it was seeds, it was this combination of carbon molecules.

02:15:19.000 And you would see that this table is only existing in a very temporary transient moment in this one second.

02:15:25.000 It's almost liquid if you look at time.

02:15:27.000 It's just kind of wave, this undulation that's happening through time.

02:15:30.000 It just takes so long that we mistake it as a solid.

02:15:32.000 Right.

02:15:32.000 And so we think, oh yes, this is permanent and this is real.

02:15:35.000 It's like, no, no, no, no, no.

02:15:36.000 This is completely impermanent.

02:15:37.000 You just happen to see it as real in this one second.

02:15:40.000 And so you begin to be like, okay, well, that's not real.

02:15:42.000 Then you begin to think, well, what about me?

02:15:44.000 Am I, what am I? And then you're like, oh, you're part of that fucking paint swirl too.

02:15:48.000 You're swirled in with a table right now.

02:15:51.000 You're swirled in.

02:15:51.000 And before you swirled into the human entity that you are, you are a bunch of other shit, you know?

02:15:57.000 You are ultimately like, they talk about how like parts of what's inside of us is from...

02:16:03.000 Supernovas and quasars and things exploding.

02:16:06.000 Stardust.

02:16:07.000 Stardust.

02:16:07.000 Yeah.

02:16:08.000 Well, you have to have a supernova to make the shit that make people, right?

02:16:10.000 Yes.

02:16:11.000 You have to have some sort of a fucking explosion of a star.

02:16:13.000 That's the recipe.

02:16:14.000 And so when you start, instead of just theoretically talking about it like what you don't like, if you start really thinking, okay, well, then what does that mean for my life?

02:16:23.000 How am I supposed to start acting then if I realize that I'm just some infinite part of something else?

02:16:30.000 It's going to swirl back out into nothingness real quick.

02:16:33.000 What do you think the guy first felt when he realized that the sun has a lifespan?

02:16:38.000 The guy who first realized that eventually this fucker's going to go out.

02:16:41.000 Right, right.

02:16:41.000 You know, and he calculated how many billion years we have left.

02:16:45.000 And then they figured out, you know, most suns only live to 500 million years.

02:16:49.000 Did you know that?

02:16:50.000 No, I didn't.

02:16:50.000 Yeah, I didn't know that either.

02:16:52.000 I thought, like, they're all billions.

02:16:53.000 Billions of years old.

02:16:54.000 That's what I thought.

02:16:54.000 No, no, no.

02:16:55.000 Most sons, 500 million years, or 500 million years.

02:16:57.000 Really?

02:16:58.000 Yeah.

02:16:58.000 So we got an older son?

02:17:00.000 Yeah, we got a crazy, slow-burning son.

02:17:01.000 Some of them just fucking blast off.

02:17:03.000 Some of the really big, giant ones, man, they're just fucking...

02:17:07.000 They just rage for a few million years and then shut the fuck off.

02:17:10.000 Yeah, but some of them, a lot of them, die at 500 million.

02:17:13.000 So we're in a rare sort of a Goldilocks situation where life can get this advanced and get this complex.

02:17:20.000 4.6 billion years or something like that.

02:17:22.000 This planet has been around and the sun is even older than that.

02:17:26.000 Pretty fascinating stuff when you really stop and think about it.

02:17:30.000 It's all got a lifespan.

02:17:31.000 Yeah, it's that level of thinking that you can begin to really start experiencing novelty again in your life.

02:17:39.000 Because I think people get shut off to that way of thinking.

02:17:42.000 They don't want to think like that and things can get boring.

02:17:44.000 It's like when you go outside on a hot day and you just think, I'm experiencing heat from a fucking thing in space.

02:17:53.000 This heat is radiating out of this thing that's so fucking hot it's making its way through space.

02:17:58.000 And changing my skin color a little bit, it can burn my skin.

02:18:02.000 To me, if I allow myself to think that way, things become so much more fascinating and interesting.

02:18:08.000 It's just weird, the stuff you choose to, not you specifically, that people choose to block.

02:18:14.000 Yeah, but that's not what you guys were talking about.

02:18:16.000 You weren't talking about, hey, the sun makes you tan.

02:18:18.000 That's hot and that's nice.

02:18:19.000 I mean, I think everyone thinks about that.

02:18:20.000 When I'm thinking about the stuff where if you're trying to figure out what the universe is, if it's alive, it's doing this or that, that's all great and stuff like that, but you don't really have a knowing answer.

02:18:30.000 I don't like thinking about that kind of shit because we'll never probably know that answer.

02:18:35.000 I'd rather figure out my fucking life going on with this person.

02:18:39.000 Son, you ain't never going to figure out your life.

02:18:40.000 You're better off just distracting yourself with bullshit.

02:18:43.000 Well, I mean...

02:18:44.000 Listen...

02:18:46.000 Let it go, kid.

02:18:48.000 I know what-ifs can be fun here and there, but getting obsessed with them is what I don't do.

02:18:54.000 A what-if would dunk until I starve to death.

02:18:57.000 We can what-if till the cows come home.

02:18:58.000 It's so fun to what-if.

02:19:00.000 It's fun.

02:19:00.000 What about the fucking philosophers, Brian?

02:19:02.000 What-if, dude?

02:19:03.000 All robots.

02:19:04.000 So much of McKenna's work was what-if.

02:19:06.000 You know, so much of his possibilities of prognosticating the eventual technological similarity.

02:19:13.000 He was a big proponent of time travel.

02:19:15.000 He really felt like time travel was going to be the one thing that fucked everything up.

02:19:18.000 Hey, can I do a what if real quick?

02:19:19.000 Yeah.

02:19:20.000 What if Brian worked for the CIA? And he was like infiltrated the podcast to try to get us from doing what ifs.

02:19:26.000 Because they know that if we keep what if-ing, we're going to come up with something that isn't just bullshit.

02:19:32.000 You're right, dude.

02:19:33.000 You might be a fucking fed...

02:19:35.000 Speaking of which, where are you at this weekend?

02:19:37.000 Oh, I'm at Ann Arbor.

02:19:40.000 Comedy showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

02:19:42.000 Comedy showcase in Ann Arbor, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

02:19:44.000 By the way, if you've never been to the comedy showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan, it is one of the most perfect comedy clubs in the country.

02:19:50.000 It's one of those places that you get there and you go, oh...

02:19:54.000 These still exist.

02:19:55.000 These mom and pop owned, really well set up, well designed, small, intimate space, great sound system, cool as fuck staff.

02:20:05.000 The whole staff smoked me out.

02:20:07.000 We went in the back room and passed it around.

02:20:09.000 The place is the shit.

02:20:10.000 The cops there were cool as fuck.

02:20:12.000 Everybody's cool as fuck.

02:20:13.000 Holy shit, I can't wait, man.

02:20:14.000 Dude, that club is the shit.

02:20:16.000 I did it with Segura.

02:20:17.000 Me and Segura did it.

02:20:18.000 We had a great, great, great fucking time there.

02:20:21.000 I can't wait.

02:20:22.000 There's a few of those clubs left, you know, in the country.

02:20:25.000 That was Heffron's club.

02:20:25.000 Denver Comedy Works.

02:20:27.000 Denver Comedy Works.

02:20:27.000 Portland Works.

02:20:28.000 Set up, perfect.

02:20:30.000 What's that?

02:20:30.000 Portland, Oregon's my new fave.

02:20:31.000 Portland's Helium is the shit.

02:20:33.000 That's a new club, too.

02:20:34.000 I love that club.

02:20:35.000 But Portland has been dying for stand-up comedy forever.

02:20:37.000 Portland's such a cool community.

02:20:39.000 There's so many cool motherfuckers up there.

02:20:41.000 Portland's amazing, man.

02:20:42.000 That's a great city.

02:20:44.000 Yeah, I love Portland.

02:20:45.000 I just don't know if I could deal with the wintertime.

02:20:47.000 People say it just gets fucking crazy.

02:20:49.000 I've talked to people that didn't say that.

02:20:51.000 Years ago, I have friends that live in Seattle, and years ago, I would ask them, you know, does it ever bother you the rain?

02:20:56.000 No, you know, no big deal.

02:20:58.000 It's whatever, man.

02:20:58.000 In the summertime, summer times are amazing.

02:21:00.000 You just kind of deal with it.

02:21:01.000 This is what it is.

02:21:02.000 And then you talk to them a couple years later, man, fuck this fucking weather.

02:21:05.000 Fuck this.

02:21:06.000 It seems to me to be something you think you can deal with, and you can deal with it, but...

02:21:11.000 It might slowly fuck with you as long as you don't realize there's an alternative.

02:21:16.000 If you ever lived in Southern California and then you moved up to Seattle, you might, after a while, be like, God damn, can I get some sun up in this bitch?

02:21:24.000 You fucking people are depressed for a reason, man.

02:21:26.000 You're not getting any sun.

02:21:27.000 Vitamin D. Exactly.

02:21:30.000 But to have a comedy club up there, there's so many cool fuckers up there, man.

02:21:34.000 Seattle, Portland, that whole Northwest.

02:21:36.000 I love Seattle.

02:21:36.000 It's great.

02:21:37.000 It's badass.

02:21:38.000 It's great.

02:21:38.000 It's like always good times.

02:21:40.000 I've never had a bad show up there.

02:21:42.000 They've always been fun.

02:21:43.000 Portland is fucking, that helium comedy club, one of the best places we ever worked.

02:21:48.000 It's amazing.

02:21:49.000 Best setup too.

02:21:50.000 I've heard of it.

02:21:50.000 Great stage, great everything.

02:21:51.000 Those helium guys are the guys from Philly.

02:21:53.000 They just know exactly what they're doing.

02:21:55.000 They're fucking masters at it.

02:21:59.000 There's a few of those clubs, like improvs.

02:22:01.000 We did the Ontario improv this weekend.

02:22:03.000 Fuck, it was awesome.

02:22:04.000 That Ontario improv is one of the most underrated improvs, man.

02:22:08.000 Because the people out there are as cool as shit.

02:22:10.000 It's always packed.

02:22:11.000 Every show was sold out.

02:22:13.000 It was fucking awesome.

02:22:14.000 Yeah, there seems to be a real correlation to how cool comedy clubs are getting and how your podcast is becoming popular because there's a lot of fucking podcast fans that come out to these shows and they're fucking awesome.

02:22:26.000 Somebody fucking palm banana bread and a Ziploc bag into my hand in Atlanta.

02:22:31.000 That was one of the funniest, coolest things.

02:22:36.000 And it was just banana bread.

02:22:38.000 That's a brownie somebody gave me I'm scared of.

02:22:41.000 It's right there.

02:22:41.000 Oh, forget it.

02:22:42.000 You just don't know.

02:22:43.000 I'm scared.

02:22:44.000 It's terrifying.

02:22:45.000 I'm going to feed it to my dog.

02:22:46.000 Keep it in the original form.

02:22:48.000 You can't like...

02:22:49.000 You just never know.

02:22:50.000 You never know what it could be, man.

02:22:52.000 That could be some Jacob's Ladder shit.

02:22:54.000 You could...

02:22:54.000 So if they want to see you, how do they buy tickets for this comedy show?

02:22:58.000 Go to my website, DuncanTrustle.com.

02:22:59.000 There's a link to the tickets on my website.

02:23:01.000 Boom.

02:23:01.000 That's Trustle with two S's and two L's.

02:23:05.000 DuncanTrustle.com.

02:23:07.000 Also, go to DeathSquad.tv and sign up for the DeathSquad podcast.

02:23:11.000 There's a whole series of podcasts that Brian hosts outside of this that has Sam Tripoli as a podcast under him, and fucking Tom Segura as a podcast under him, and There's a bunch of different really funny people that have podcasts over there.

02:23:26.000 Freddie Lockhart, John Reap, John Heffron.

02:23:29.000 Brody Stevens.

02:23:29.000 Brody Stevens, Lester.

02:23:31.000 A bunch of really good...

02:23:32.000 So if you're looking for interesting shit to keep you occupied at work, it's all free, of course.

02:23:36.000 It's all on iTunes, of course.

02:23:38.000 Also, Ari Shafir has his own now.

02:23:40.000 It's called The Skeptic Tank.

02:23:41.000 You can find it, Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank.

02:23:43.000 That's S-H-A-F-F-I-R. We're good to go.

02:24:08.000 Powerful.

02:24:09.000 And thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring us.

02:24:12.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy from Matt.

02:24:20.000 I've got to come up with something cooler to say with that.

02:24:22.000 Brian is just a master.

02:24:24.000 He just has this down to a science.

02:24:27.000 CIA! That's why he interjects.

02:24:31.000 He tries to fuck with your thought waves.

02:24:32.000 I fucked up the show today.

02:24:34.000 What if he's like a time traveler and he knows...

02:24:37.000 They were trying to talk about time travel.

02:24:38.000 I told them they were faggots.

02:24:40.000 Stop it.

02:24:41.000 Stop it.

02:24:42.000 Thank you to Onnit Labs.

02:24:45.000 Go to onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, for the Alpha Brain Cognitive Enhancer Substance, whatever you call this.

02:24:53.000 And if you go to the link off the website, offjoerogan.net, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off.

02:25:00.000 And then make yourself all smart and shit.

02:25:02.000 Yes, they're great.

02:25:03.000 Great dreams.

02:25:04.000 Duncan Trussell this weekend.

02:25:05.000 Comedy Showcase, Ann Arbor, Michigan.

02:25:07.000 Thursday, Friday, and Saturday Night Live.

02:25:09.000 What?

02:25:09.000 Go.

02:25:10.000 See him.

02:25:11.000 See you this weekend.

02:25:11.000 Go.

02:25:12.000 Go there.

02:25:12.000 Go.

02:25:13.000 If you're in Michigan, you must go.

02:25:14.000 Oh, this Friday.

02:25:15.000 We're going to be at...

02:25:17.000 Ice House, the little tiny room.

02:25:19.000 Yeah, Pasadena Ice House.

02:25:20.000 There's a death squad show.

02:25:21.000 It's Joe Rogan.

02:25:22.000 Joey Diaz is probably going to do it.

02:25:23.000 Two shows.

02:25:24.000 Brendan Walsh is going to do it.

02:25:25.000 Oh, it's a lineup of killers.

02:25:26.000 And it's a small-ass room.

02:25:28.000 It's only 85 seats.

02:25:29.000 It'll sell the fuck out.

02:25:30.000 But we're doing this little thing on purpose because it's fun.

02:25:33.000 It's a real intimate little environment.

02:25:35.000 It's a real fun place to fuck around.

02:25:37.000 Are you going to be around?

02:25:38.000 No, you're going to be around because you're going to be at the Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor.

02:25:41.000 Ann Arbor!

02:25:41.000 And if you can go to DuncanTrustle.com, you can get the tickets for that.

02:25:44.000 And then...

02:25:44.000 Just fucking, just, folks, we love you.

02:25:48.000 Thanks for everything.

02:25:49.000 Just keep being who you are because you're cool as shit.

02:25:52.000 And all you people out there that are listening on your treadmills and on your elliptical machines and driving in your cars and sitting in the subway and on the train and we love you.

02:26:01.000 We love you.

02:26:02.000 We're there.

02:26:02.000 We are all connected.

02:26:03.000 Yeah, you are having a conversation with us.

02:26:05.000 We are moving forward.

02:26:07.000 Occupy Wall Street and Viva La Revolution!

02:26:10.000 Hold it until I get there.

02:26:11.000 Get your machine shirts at BertBertBert.com.

02:26:14.000 Thank you everybody.

02:26:15.000 We love you guys.

02:26:16.000 Bye.

02:26:16.000 We'll see you soon.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 17, 2011

Joe Rogan Experience #147 - Duncan Trussell

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