On this episode of the podcast, the boys discuss the new iPad, the future of voice recognition software on the Mac and PC, and how to be a better speaker. Also, we talk about what it's like being a writer and how it's better than speaking. We also talk about how to become a better writer and why there's a real craft to it. And we answer a question about whether or not Dragon is better than other programs on the PC and Mac. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends about this podcast! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Share the podcast on your favorite streaming platform so we can keep giving you the best quality content. Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ & Cheers. - The EJ Crew. Timestamps: 1:00:00 - What's the deal with the iPad? 5:30 - What do you think of the new Apple Podcast? 6:15 - Which is better? 7:40 - Is it better than the Mac? 8:00- What are you looking forward to the future? 9:20 - What would you like to see next? 11:00s - What is the best way to write a book? 14: What is your favorite thing you're writing? 15: What are your favorite type of food? 16:00? 17:00 18: How do you want to be better than a book you're going to write? 19:00 Is there a book that you re going to read it? 21:00 -- what do you like about the best thing you re gonna write about? 22:30 -- what are you working on? 25:00 | What is a good thing that you would like to read? 26: What kind of book you re working on right now? 27:00 // 27:40 -- what s your favorite piece of music? 28:00 What s your biggest superpower? 29:00 & 30:00 + +3? 35:00 Can you write better than someone else is the most interesting thing you are going to be able to write about you?
00:02:45.000There's something about actually writing things, too, that's better than speaking it and writing it.
00:02:51.000Because when I write something, if I write a blog, I don't type that fast.
00:02:54.000So if I'm writing something, each word that I'm thinking about, I'm really dwelling on it and the other words that come after it.
00:03:00.000That's why one of the things people are always really impressed about is the ability to speak without stammering and to have something to say.
00:03:06.000I mean, that's the reason why Obama got elected, really, is not just because he's black, but because he's black and he's this really good speaker.
00:03:16.000It's a management of your The ability to recognize what you're going to say next and the inflection you're going to use and preparation and all that shit.
00:03:49.000You know, I don't read that much, but the few books that I choose, I pick out certain things I want to read.
00:03:55.000Because I read all day on the internet, so when it comes to a book, I'm like, alright, I've read so much today, I don't need to read anymore, you know, type thing.
00:04:01.000So I've actually been reading less books ever since the internet's kind of grabbed me, I've noticed.
00:04:19.000And he retired and he went to Florida and lived in a retirement home.
00:04:22.000And he just documented his life inside a retirement home, being retired at the age of 35. It was one of the funniest books, and it's weird how the retirement village is like high school.
00:04:32.000You know, there's like the popular old people, and they have like their cliques and stuff like that, and it's so weird.
00:04:37.000You kind of go back to that old school thing.
00:05:56.000He was just making all kinds of crazy shit up about Las Vegas and campaigns and dudes being on drugs.
00:06:03.000When Ed Muskie was running for president, Hunter Thompson just started printing in Rolling Stone magazine every week that it was widely known that this guy had an Ibogaine addiction and that he was bringing in Brazilian doctors.
00:06:17.000Nobody ever done real serious coverage of a political event and just started adding nutty shit to it that totally wasn't real.
00:06:24.000So, literally, this guy changed the fucking course of the election, because that guy was one of the favorites.
00:06:29.000And because Hunter's writing about him having an Ibogaine addiction, which is this crazy exotic drug from Africa, Hunter wrote this whole thing about it, and this guy literally fell apart on the campaign trail.
00:07:24.000You know, I liked the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and I'd seen him on talk shows before, and I always knew that he was this kind of crazy guy.
00:07:30.000There was this, you know, older dude who was really nutty, liked to shoot guns, and, you know, looked like, you know, your friend's dad, but he was fucking completely psychotic.
00:07:38.000You know, it was just this guy left over from the 60s that somehow or another morphed into this, like, super violent fucking drug-addled Compound Junkie, that's what he used to call himself, you know?
00:07:49.000I just added it to my Netflix queue on my iPad, Joe.
00:08:10.000Like in almost everything, like in Michael Jackson, in fucking sports, anybody like Tiger Woods, you know, look how crazy he is.
00:08:17.000I almost think that you have to be a certain, there has to be a certain amount of imbalance to you to be really the best at anything, to be excellent.
00:08:25.000Yeah, well that's why you're considered the best usually, because you're not in the same road as everybody else.
00:08:31.000You're on the side street, you know, you're a little different than everyone else.
00:08:34.000So most successful people are not just like a common person.
00:08:39.000Not just that, but what I'm saying is that the commitment that's involved in order to get to the highest levels of anything, you almost have to be completely nuts in order to hit those RPMs.
00:08:50.000It's like with so many things, especially when it comes to the working world.
00:08:54.000When it comes to the artistic world, I could see an argument for there's no...
00:09:00.000There's never too much art that you can produce because you're just producing positive energy.
00:09:03.000You know, but people that, like, get addicted to, like, success in the business world and try to be, like, the number one guy in the business world, I mean, that's one of the main reasons why we have all these problems today with corporations, how corporations are sort of these consciousness...
00:09:17.000I mean, now corporations basically are allowed to, they're judged as an individual.
00:09:26.000Like, they can contribute to campaigns now as much as they want.
00:09:29.000They can do all kinds of crazy shit, you know, as a corporation and get away with it because they don't think of it as them as an individual doing it.
00:09:37.000They think of it as, well, you know, it's all business and we're part of business.
00:09:40.000Like they can do fucked up things in overseas countries, you know, third world countries, and they don't even think that they're doing anything bad because what they're doing is they're just doing business and there's just a bunch of people involved doing it.
00:09:52.000So no one person feels like total responsibility for what's happening.
00:09:56.000You know, and that's like a real problem that we have.
00:09:59.000And I think one of the real problems that we have Is related to people just being super competitive.
00:10:05.000You know, that's the only reason why these fucking super crazy billionaire dudes would keep pushing forward.
00:10:10.000You know, at a certain point in time, how much fucking money do you have to have?
00:10:14.000You know, when you're one of those dudes that has like 30, 40 billion dollars and you're still trying to rape third world countries, like, what the fuck is going on?
00:10:22.000Like, how much money do you need, bitch?
00:10:23.000You know, that's a lot of goddamn money.
00:10:31.000To get at the highest levels of anything, whether it's golf or whether it's fucking, you know, whatever the fuck it is, to get at the highest levels of anything, you gotta be a little nutty, man.
00:10:46.000I think to really achieve those crazy great highs, you almost have to lose your connection to everybody else or lose control of your connection.
00:10:58.000It's weird because that's our high watermark.
00:11:01.000We're always aspiring towards higher and higher levels of performance in everything we do.
00:11:08.000Whether it's athletic or anything you do, you're always trying to do better than you did before.
00:11:12.000That's like a human ethic that we have.
00:11:15.000It's very strange, man, because there's never a point in time where we ever step back and go, you know, hey, this is good.
00:11:30.000Let's try to concentrate our time and dealing with all these problems that exist all over the world.
00:11:34.000Instead of trying to, you know, fucking smash atoms and create black holes, let's settle down.
00:11:40.000You know, and let's concentrate on some other shit.
00:11:43.000Look at the surplus of money that we have.
00:11:45.000but they don't ever think like that all they think of is more more more more more more more like they're going to live forever And those motherfuckers drop a heart attack left and right.
00:11:52.000Those, like, CEOs of big corporation type dudes, those motherfuckers die like crazy.
00:12:18.000What kind of balls do you have to have to be the fucking CEO of a corporation like Halliburton And then go from that to being the Vice President of the United States.
00:12:27.000And then go from that to signing billion dollar agreements with Halliburton where billions, literally billions of dollars were lost.
00:13:27.000That guy Jeff Gannon, who's a reporter for the White House, he was a White House embedded reporter, and he would lob these super softball questions at President Bush.
00:13:37.000Like, Mr. Bush, President Bush, when, or Mr. President, when are the Democrats just going to come to reality?
00:13:45.000When are they going to come to their senses?
00:13:47.000Do you think that's ever going to happen?
00:13:50.000And other reporters were like, who is this motherfucker?
00:13:52.000And so the other reporters started investigating this dude.
00:13:55.000And they found out that he had a fucking gay porn website.
00:13:57.000With him him with like you know like a fucking bare chest in like a towel over his cock and shit like Super gay with dog tags on and it was gay porn geared towards guys with military fetishes.
00:14:27.000They had ticklers that would come over and they would all have tickle parties.
00:14:31.000Well, how about that fucking woman who was the madam?
00:14:33.000How about that woman who was the madam for that big fucking brothel in Washington, D.C.? And this chick claims she's got the fucking ins on everybody in Washington.
00:14:43.000All these senators that used her service.
00:16:04.000Bitch, you can't just tune in halfway in the middle.
00:16:07.000We're talking about shit the way the human mind works, man.
00:16:11.000That there's an error in the way the human mind works.
00:16:14.000And that's the reason why people are doing all this crazy shit like trying to conquer the world and billionaires are fucking...
00:16:21.000Torturing these third world countries and crushing their resources and doing it all for money.
00:16:26.000The reason why is there's an error in the human mind.
00:16:30.000And there's an error that causes us to never have perspective.
00:16:33.000We're always moving in a direction, but we don't have a perspective.
00:16:37.000Nobody ever stops and very, very few people stop and realize at a certain point in time.
00:16:41.000I would rather live an easygoing, really peaceful life and make less money and have less bullshit and less drama in my life and just be happy all the time than be this.
00:16:55.000Super ambitious, gotta go get it, typical American.
00:17:09.000So the right thing to do is to try to balance it all out and have the most amount of fun possible and the most amount of positive time, the most amount of positive energy during the time that you have.
00:17:22.000But then there's the keeping up with the Joneses thing, this trick that gets us thinking that somehow or another bigger houses or bigger cars or bigger bullshit is going to make you happy.
00:17:30.000Some of the most miserable fucks that I've ever met in my life were rich and famous, okay?
00:17:36.000Some of the most miserable fucking human beings I've ever met.
00:17:39.000Rich and famous and living in a torturous existence.
00:17:43.000We were talking about our friend on the way over here who's got the female problem.
00:19:15.000You know, the reason why wars work is because we feel like, well, yeah, we gotta defend ourselves, and we all know we have this sort of sense of loyalty to defend ourselves, but at a certain point, it's like, against what?
00:19:25.000We are 300 million fucking people, and we're defending ourselves against, what, 300 million other people from somewhere else that we don't even know?
00:20:10.000In 2007, covered it up and then WikiLeaks got a hold of it.
00:20:14.000Someone in the armed forces apparently was a whistleblower and just thought that this was a horrible situation and it needed to be corrected.
00:20:21.000And these guys were like, you know, look, I mean, if they thought they were insurgents, I could see how they developed this antagonistic attitude towards the enemy.
00:20:30.000Because this guy's wounded, they shot him up, and this one guy survived.
00:20:32.000He's like, just pick up a weapon, just pick up a weapon.
00:20:34.000Like, he's asking him to just pick up a weapon so he can ice him.
00:20:39.000And look, they're the bad guy, and this guy is out there, and he's in the shit, and he's trying to survive.
00:20:43.000I mean, that's the attitude you have to have.
00:20:45.000If you don't have that attitude, and you're in war, you're gonna get killed.
00:20:48.000But what it shows you is, like, what the fuck are we doing there?
00:20:52.000What are we doing that our American friends, our people who live over here in this country, are subject to becoming that guy?
00:21:00.000Are subject to being put in a situation where they are shooting at civilians accidentally and thinking they're insurgents?
00:21:05.000They have to live with these fucking memories because someone told us that we're supposed to be over there for some fucking strange reason?
00:21:11.000Some fake weapons of mass destruction and now some fucking democracy building project.
00:21:17.000You're surprised though an 18 year old made a bad decision.
00:21:22.000I know but half those people are so young that it's retarded.
00:21:24.000I mean I didn't get smart and I mean smart with like a Z until like 25, 27. I would probably say I started actually doing, making better decisions not fucking doing crazy shit.
00:21:38.000I was retarded when I was 18. And if I was 18 and I was in war, I would be doing the exact same shit.
00:21:43.000I was hyper aggressive, extra violent, and ready to do stupid shit.
00:21:48.000When you're an 18-year-old man and you're around a bunch of people who tell you you're supposed to be doing stupid shit, you're supposed to be violent, you're supposed to be attacking, you're supposed to be a killer.
00:21:59.000I mean, man, you could program the shit out of us, man.
00:22:03.000If you're a fucking angry 18-year-old kid, you know, who has a need to belong to something, and this need to belong takes you to another country, and all of a sudden you're, you know, you're in Afghanistan, you're fighting for America, you feel like, you know, you're representing some real shit, and then someone's fucking telling you, you know, this guy's telling you, you're a goddamn killer.
00:22:24.000You know, you know, I'm fucking proud of you, boys.
00:22:26.000You go out there and go get it, you know?
00:22:46.000Look, if they really were protecting our freedoms, what a noble thing.
00:22:50.000If there really was some evil empire out there like the Nazis that were trying to fucking take out Americans and there was millions of them and they were storming the beaches and taking over countries, that's not what's happening.
00:23:01.000There's a bunch of fucking dudes living in caves and we don't even have to fucking go in.
00:23:07.000What we're doing now that's most successful is these fucking drones.
00:23:12.000Aircrafts that they're shooting around total straight video game type shit, shooting hellfire missiles into mountains and killing people.
00:23:19.000I mean, that's probably the best way to hunt these fucking dudes anyway if there really are terrorists out there.
00:24:03.000Whether it's the Gulf of Tonkin, whether it's the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, whatever the fuck it may be.
00:24:09.000You know, and it's not just Republican, it's Democrat.
00:24:12.000It's this fucking crazy healthcare thing, and this fucking crazy thing that's going on with the bank bailouts, where all this money is just flying around, and there's no accountability, and nobody knows where the fuck it's going, and these executives that came from these companies that got big fucking bailout checks, they're taking big bonus checks and saying, well, if they don't get these bonuses, they quit.
00:24:38.000Like, how is this money grab going on?
00:24:40.000The money grab's going on because they're all corrupt.
00:24:42.000The Democrats, the Republicans, they all owe favors to people that got them in office and they suck dick and kiss ass and they let this bullshit pass through.
00:25:15.000No, because it doesn't have to be this way.
00:25:17.000If you want total enjoyment for the people that are participating in it, it doesn't have to be this way.
00:25:22.000And the way it is right now is this way because too many people are passive and they're sitting back and they're just allowing this life to keep rolling forward in the same direction.
00:25:31.000Look, it's going in a certain direction for sure, but it doesn't have to be negative and it doesn't have to fucking involve war.
00:25:37.000It doesn't have to involve all this shit that's going on in these other countries.
00:25:40.000We're being tricked into thinking it does.
00:25:42.000We're supposed to be getting past that shit and we're supposed to be evolving in a technological sense.
00:25:48.000But we should be evolving socially too.
00:25:51.000We're still socially the same way we were 30, 40, fucking 50 years ago.
00:25:55.000We're still doing the same dumb shit where it's gigantic groups of people led by a couple of leaders will attack another gigantic group of people and a bunch of fucking people that have nothing to do with anything die.
00:26:05.000And someone is getting money from them.
00:27:00.000People live way longer and you live, if you live past a certain point, like you and I are very fortunate because we're in the entertainment industry.
00:27:08.000So we don't have a specific job that we have to do every morning.
00:27:11.000Like we don't have to go to work and work on say insurance cases all day, stuff that we're not interested in.
00:27:16.000We're lucky that we get to create and we're lucky that we get to do stuff that we find interesting, that it's all fun.
00:27:23.000But for most people, that's not the case.
00:27:24.000And when it's not the case, and when your whole day is filled with work, and I've been there before, and you've been there before, you don't fucking think too much.
00:27:33.000When you're working eight hours a goddamn day plus, and you're trying to get some overtime in because you got extra bills and credit card debt and shit, when it gets to a certain point in time, at the end of your day, man, you don't got time to contemplate the universe or culture or why people behave the way they behave.
00:27:55.000But you and I have way more time by ourselves to think on our own than most people.
00:28:00.000So you get to a certain point in time, and you know, by the time I'm 42, by the time you're like 42, like, fuck, man.
00:28:07.000The whole hustle is so obvious and stupid.
00:28:10.000It's like the same hustle that would have got me when I was 18. I would have goddamn joined the army for sure when I was 18. When I'm 42, it makes me angry because somebody my age is doing this hustle on someone who's 18. You know, not even my age, older than me.
00:28:23.000You know, I mean, it's like, you motherfuckers should have figured it out already.
00:28:27.000You motherfuckers that are older than me, that are running the planet, you should be delivering this message.
00:28:49.000You know, and this fucking argument like about our boys, you know, what do you want our boys to die, that's how they have to behave over there?
00:31:40.000Yeah, but my brain could immediately skip to it and understand what it's supposed to say.
00:31:44.000Where cursive, I'm more like, okay, that's a Z. I need Y-O-U apostrophe R-E. When you get a goddamn text message from me, you're gonna get a fucking apostrophe.
00:31:54.000You're gonna get a U apostrophe R-E. I'm old school, son.
00:32:19.000For a sports car, there's nothing like it.
00:32:21.000I have a little BMW, a little M3. I love that thing, but it's got the paddle shifters.
00:32:25.000And the paddle shifters are pretty dope in traffic because you really can shift gears when you want and you really control the engine.
00:32:32.000But man, there's something about pressing that foot, that clutch down, putting that gear in, click, click, letting the clutch off, hitting the gas at the same time.
00:32:41.000It's like you're in tune with the machine, man.
00:35:18.000They did population density studies with rats.
00:35:21.000They took rats, they put them in a box, and there was, you know, there's a certain population of rats, and they were cool with each other.
00:35:27.000And then they doubled it, and they started getting a little crazy, and they tripled it.
00:35:30.000And when they got to, like, a high number where the rats were on top of each other, rats developed mental illnesses, just like human beings do.
00:35:36.000Some rats would sit by themselves and shake And just like face the corner.
00:35:41.000I mean, literally the way human beings are is mirrored in population density studies for all sorts of animals.
00:35:49.000So, you know, you take us and you put us in the same thing.
00:35:51.000The reason why people yell at each other on the highway, that's craziness.
00:35:55.000Why do we get so angry on the highway?
00:35:57.000It's because we're on top of each other, just eating each other's energy all the time.
00:36:02.000You're not supposed to live like that.
00:36:03.000And so that movie just resonates with everybody, I think, when you just went fucking crazy.
00:36:09.000When you live in a place like L.A., L.A.'s got 20 million people in it.
00:36:12.000I mean, that was the reason why I moved to Colorado in the first place.
00:36:14.000I wanted to get away from this heavy vibration of all these people.
00:36:19.000You know, I don't think this is a healthy way to live.
00:36:21.000I don't think it's a healthy thing to be like this many people.
00:36:23.000To me, I feel like I'm living in a game of musical chairs.
00:36:26.000Like one day some shit's gonna go down and I'm just gonna have to go further away.
00:36:29.000You know, I don't feel like I could stay here.
00:40:58.000Yeah, and he had an issue where he destroyed his sexuality.
00:41:01.000Like, he had some fucking crazy problem with some actress, and he fell in love with her, and this is all really vague stuff, but in his own words, he destroyed his sexuality.
00:41:13.000And they don't know if he castrated himself.
00:41:15.000There was also a lot of speculation that he might have been gay or whatever too.
00:42:41.000And they take over the host's body like that grasshopper that gets infected by this worm.
00:42:46.000The aquatic worm grows inside the grasshopper.
00:42:49.000To maturity, and then when it gets to maturity, it convinces the grasshopper that it has to jump into water and drown.
00:42:54.000So the grasshopper commits suicide so that this worm can come out of it.
00:42:58.000What if, like, language and ideas literally are like another sort of organism?
00:43:03.000And what if, like, they are manipulating our consciousness?
00:43:07.000You know, what if, like, language and ideas and all these different things that people come up with, like, creativity and people, when people are creative about things, they pull these things down out of the air.
00:48:35.000Yeah, if you're a dude who looks like him in Jersey, you know, you're a fucking mailman or you're delivering sausages to the fucking local supermarket.
00:48:43.000Ron Jeremy looks like you, and he's banging 10s, and you can't get laid at all.
00:48:47.000You know, you're lucky if you get some toothless blowjob from some Hunts Point hooker that just makes you check your balls every five seconds for the next three days looking for herpes sores.
00:49:52.000Yeah, but they grab it through the Gi.
00:49:53.000The Gi gets caught up in the chest hairs.
00:49:56.000There's a lot of guard passes where a guy's on top of you and he pushes down on the collar and grabs it.
00:50:01.000They always get a fistful of chest hairs.
00:50:02.000So people grab your chest hair, you get ringworms, staph infection.
00:50:06.000There's no reason to be doing jiu-jitsu.
00:50:08.000Well, it's definitely hard to justify sometimes.
00:50:11.000You know, when you think about injuries, I mean, I've gone through, since doing jujitsu, I've gone through two knee surgeries, one meniscus, one reconstruction.
00:50:22.000I've had all sorts of fucking back problems.
00:50:25.000So why is jujitsu not one of the things like if you had like a stove that smelled like gas, you're always burning yourself, there's always flames coming out of it.
00:50:34.000Why would you keep on using that stove?
00:50:46.000You're going basically hand-to-hand combat and you're doing it with good friends.
00:50:50.000Like these guys that I do Jiu-Jitsu with, you know, we trust each other with basically each other's lives.
00:50:55.000You know, when a dude gets my back and chokes me and I tap, I'm trusting that he's going to let me go before he fucking kills me because basically he's got to a point where he's killing me.
00:51:04.000And that's the same thing, you know, with you.
00:51:06.000When you get on top of a dude and you're finishing off a choke or an armbar or something and a guy starts tapping...
00:51:10.000He's basically trusting that you're not going to injure him.
00:51:13.000And sometimes people get injured accidentally, but the amount of times that I don't get injured is way more than the amount of times that I do.
00:51:19.000I get injured, but I've had these operations and shit over the course of doing Jiu Jitsu for 14 years.
00:51:55.000Some guys are just a little too nutty.
00:51:57.000They fucking spaz out on you when you train.
00:51:59.000You've got to be real careful of those dudes because they want to win so badly.
00:52:03.000The best guys are the guys who are really good.
00:52:06.000Even though they tap you out, even though they can beat you, they're going to beat you with technique and you're much safer.
00:52:12.000You're literally safer with a guy who can kick your ass Who's a black belt than you are with a guy who's strong who's a blue belt.
00:52:18.000Because that strong blue belt might fucking dive on your foot and break it.
00:52:21.000He might try to get you in a footlock and get a hold of it so quick trying to tap you out that he hurts you before you even get a chance to tap.
00:52:28.000It's a very tricky thing, but doing it good is so much fun, dude.
00:52:56.000That's all you're thinking about is the moment.
00:52:58.000And whenever you're involved in something like that that's that intense, it's like a form of meditation, you know?
00:53:05.000Don't you think that way about art sometimes?
00:53:07.000Like when you're at your best and you're like with your video editing or you're creating something, like when you're right in the middle of it all, you ain't thinking about shit but what you're doing, you know?
00:53:15.000Yeah, but it's always getting it done.
00:53:47.000I consider I'm trying to get something out of my brain and do something else as fast as possible while I have the idea in my head.
00:53:54.000Like I'm trying to take my ideas and thoughts out of my head and put it in a form as fast as possible before I lose the original thought or idea.
00:54:04.000So it's not like, oh, I love this idea.
00:54:08.000Mine is just trying to get what I want, what I thought of out.
00:54:11.000I like making notes with the iPhone using that little application, but I don't like that I have to fucking go in the menu, find it, press that, press record.
00:54:20.000I think I'm going to get like a little tiny voice notes thing.
00:54:24.000And when I have ideas like that, when I'm writing and I have an idea, when I'm trying to write it down, I think I'm just going to press it and say the idea into it so I know for sure that I'm not going to lose it.
00:55:26.000If you just sit around and just keep smoking weed every day, every day, the weed starts to lose its effect, and then you start to have to get more weed to kind of...
00:55:34.000And then you're, like, flooding your system, you know?
00:55:37.000I think that when you smoke weed, you can...
00:55:40.000Like, if you want to do something creatively, you can't smoke too much.
00:57:47.000You know, like, S-T and S-O, stoned and sober.
00:57:52.000And like, so I'll write S-T, S-O, so you know I did it stoned and edited sober, or I'll write, you know, S-O, S-T. I have some funny stone jokes that I write, and I look at them, and they are fucking crazy.
00:58:05.000Let me see if I can pick out one real quick.
00:58:08.000Well, the bit that I do in my act that is totally true, that I wrote down something when I was high and then I went to read it when I was sober and it's like, a unicorn is a donkey from the future.
00:58:19.000I looked at that and I'm like, how could I have ever possibly thought that that was something that I needed to write down?
00:58:24.000That is for sure a sure sign that I got way too fucked up.
00:58:28.000Alright, here's one of my stone jokes.
00:58:30.000Marble industry has to be hurting right now.
00:58:34.000Remember when you were a kid, marbles were the bomb?
01:00:01.000That's not a bad idea, but the problem with brownies is brownies and comedy do not mix, my friend.
01:00:06.000If I took a brownie at the start of my act, An hour into the act, when the brownie kicked in, I would be so high, I would not be able to function.
01:00:13.000When I get really high on brownies, man, I don't want to be talking.
01:00:29.000The fucking, the eating it is spooky, man.
01:00:32.000And for people who don't know, it creates something when you eat it called 11-hydroxymetabolite that's four times stronger than THC. So when you eat it, literally, it's a totally different drug than when you smoke it.
01:00:42.000That's why people, when they eat brownies, they always think they got laced with something.
01:03:11.000I mean, I guess you could do something really stupid when you're stoned and wind up killing yourself.
01:03:15.000But if you're that dumb, you probably would have done something stupid anyway, you know?
01:03:19.000And when they say don't die at pot, though, you could totally die if you, say, start panicking because you're stoned and then your heart has a heart attack.
01:04:04.000Wiki answers is stupid because people like answer.
01:04:07.000That's how I thought that whales, that killer whales used to kill people.
01:04:11.000I've read this online in a couple different places.
01:04:14.000That killer whales used to kill people until World War II and then people were using the whales as target practice.
01:04:19.000I've read this online and I talked about it on the Adam Carolla show.
01:04:21.000And even though I said, I don't know if it's true, I read it online, that after World War II, after the bombers, you know, killer whales stopped killing human beings and actually started saving.
01:05:57.000The way I've always described pot not being able to help dumb people is that you put jet fuel in a fucking lawnmower, it's still a lawnmower.
01:06:06.000You put jet fuel in a jet and it's pretty badass.
01:06:10.000But the bottom line is it's all about what kind of hardware you're dealing with.
01:06:28.000There are people, and people don't want to admit this for whatever reason.
01:06:31.000Because there are people that aren't dumb, they're just troubled, and their lives have fallen apart because they, you know, they've got all sorts of issues and, you know, people go, oh, that guy's a retard.
01:06:42.000There are people like that that are just troubled and fucked up and, you know, perhaps they never figured out what it is in this life that they're good for or should be doing.
01:06:49.000But there's definitely people with weak-ass 9-volt brains that are just supposed to be out there digging ditches.
01:06:56.000And to deny that is just unscientific.
01:06:58.000If you look at the entire fucking universe, man, It's all about things improving and getting better.
01:07:04.000And if you look at human beings, there's all sorts of programs and things set up to make sure that the weak can still survive.
01:08:18.000So it's not an exact science, but the problem is there's a lot of really fucking dumb people, man.
01:08:23.000When you see those videos of those people that go to those Sarah Palin book signings, those teabagger people, and they're all up in arms against the government, there are some wooden minds in there, just some dull motherfuckers.
01:08:34.000That's really a problem that everybody has to have a say.
01:10:31.000I've been having all these conversations about religion on the Rogan board lately because of all this Catholic scandal that's going on.
01:10:38.000And I don't know if you know the latest, but they've proven that the Pope knew about pedophiles and hid the cases.
01:10:44.000That before he was the Pope, that he knew about these pedophile cases and he did everything that he could to shield the information and protect the priests.
01:10:52.000It's like, man, how could you not think that the Catholic religion is a cult at that point?
01:11:43.000To me and to you, when we look at gadgets and new things, Brian will find some new thing online, like, holy shit, look at this, and they'll send it to me or I'll send something to him.
01:11:55.000You know, and you look at it, you're like, oh, what are they doing?
01:12:06.000I think, though, the later, the more we kind of kill off a certain age group of people that didn't grow, I think the more people are going to research for themselves religion and stuff like that.
01:12:17.000And I think religion is probably, their future of religion is probably going to be a lot different in, say, the next hundred years than it's ever been in ever.
01:12:25.000I think it's probably more people have realized how ridiculous it is now than ever before.
01:12:31.000I don't think there's ever been more questioners, and there's probably never been more options either.
01:12:37.000With Scientology and the Moonies and anything else, and new ones that are popping up left and right, there's all these new ideologies that are popping up left and right.
01:13:56.000Well, yeah, I mean, but you have to also think that the reason why this person's acting like this or something like that is because it's something that they don't like that you've done to them or that's something that you do.
01:14:10.000Maybe, but that's not always the case.
01:14:12.000Sometimes it's their own shortcomings that's causing them to be insecure.
01:14:15.000I mean, you know, I mean, we were talking about earlier, this girl that's upset at this other girl, you know?
01:15:01.000You think you have this rivalry with me because you see me on television and you don't like the fact that I'm doing something you want to do.
01:16:25.000You pretty much can't do anything nowadays.
01:16:27.000Imagine being married and imagine going to a bar and then you meet this girl and you start talking to her.
01:16:33.000And somebody goes, oh hey, there's that person, takes a photo of you, puts it on their Twitter, now you are just being caught in front of five million people, you know?
01:17:45.000But the reality is, the reason why it's an issue at all is that human beings, especially men, are wired to try to populate an entire village.
01:17:53.000Because that's how the best sperm survives.
01:17:55.000And, you know, that's why all these crazy conqueror motherfuckers like Tiger Woods, you know, these guys that are so uber-competitive, that's why he had so many chicks, you know?
01:18:02.000It's like, the guy's just doing nature.
01:20:50.000He was into like being rewarded for his hard work.
01:20:54.000He was into like fine food and massages.
01:20:56.000And if prostitution was legal, he would just hire hookers.
01:20:59.000If it was an acceptable, normal thing to do, like he lived in some foreign country where they allowed prostitution, he would just go to the prostitutes and get serviced and then go home.
01:21:31.000If you go to a brothel in a country that's respectable, supposedly they're testing those girls just like they test porn stars.
01:21:37.000I don't think it's a good argument because I think that if you're paying attention more, it's a lot safer than if it's some fucking underground thing where these...
01:21:46.000There's probably a lot of violence that comes with it, too, though.
01:21:49.000People going a little bit too far and raping a person.
01:21:52.000Yeah, but wouldn't it be safer if they did it in a brothel where there's security and when people get screened and they know someone's not crazy and they have security there everywhere?
01:22:00.000I mean, that makes much more sense to me than some poor girl who has to put a fucking ad in some magazine and then show up.
01:22:05.000You remember that girl that came to the comedy store one night?
01:22:07.000We talked to her and she said she was a hooker?
01:22:15.000She would go to them so that she had an address, you know, and she would tell her friend, hey, this is where I went, so if anything happens to me, I don't...
01:22:21.000Come back, you know, somebody killed me.
01:22:23.000And she would go to these people's places and she would fuck them.
01:22:52.000When you really did fall in love and you're really with a woman, there wouldn't be this overwhelming desire to be with someone just to have sex.
01:23:52.000Take all your stuff, pack it, get in a boat, sail across the fucking world, and start in some new place, and learn the language, and learn, you know, how to...
01:24:02.000I mean, that's how go-getter these people were.
01:24:05.000So the people that initially came to this country on the East Coast, those are all savages.
01:24:09.000And the people that went west are all the people that wanted to get away from the savages.
01:24:12.000All the people were like, these fucking people are crazy, get me out of here, and they all took off.
01:24:16.000And the furthest they could get was here.
01:24:19.000That's why people in California are like the most laid back and the most progressive.
01:24:23.000I mean, it literally is because they're the ones that are the ancestors of the ones that wanted to get the fuck away from where they were.
01:25:59.000There's a mental game one can play called Channel the Alien, wherein one can find the answers to complex questions simply by visualizing an ancient alien from beyond pretending to channel the answers.
01:26:15.000Okay, so what this guy is saying, this Holy Chaos 23, is that you can find the wise answers to things by pretending to channel an alien who has the wise answers.
01:26:31.000What the fuck are you talking about, son?
01:26:49.000I guess I kind of see what you're saying, you know, and I sort of do that sometimes where I say to myself, okay, if I wasn't me, how would I advise myself?
01:27:00.000And I pretend that I'm talking to a much more intelligent version of me guiding my life.
01:29:04.000You can waste so much of your energy thinking about politics, but then the argument is we're supposed to be governing ourselves in this country and that you get the option to vote and you get the right to express your opinion and you can actually change the world.
01:29:23.000I'm not completely convinced at this point.
01:29:25.000With the amount of money that they're able to contribute to campaign funds that giant corporations are able to, they're literally shaping the way people see things.
01:29:32.000They're putting ads and manipulating people's thoughts and getting people to believe things that aren't necessarily true, all so that they can push a certain agenda so that somebody can make money.
01:29:42.000I mean, the situation is totally corrupt.
01:29:44.000I mean, so much money is involved in politics now and so much money is involved in, you know, in running the world.
01:29:51.000And, you know, just look at what Obama's done with all this fucking bailouts and this...
01:29:57.000When you look at this whole healthcare system thing, someone has to be making money.
01:30:02.000There's no way they'd be putting this much effort into this whole healthcare thing if it was just about, you know, keeping the people healthy and making sure that people have medical coverage.
01:30:29.000I care about the things I want to care about, about the government.
01:30:32.000Meaning if they've decided to make a bill about banning the internet or that cats are going to be illegal, then I'll care about that part of it.
01:30:40.000But I'm not going to sit there and try to figure out everything from A to Z about our government and freak out about it because you know what?
01:30:45.000I'm freaking out about my mail being delivered today.
01:30:56.000But people could also argue that that's apathy.
01:30:58.000People could say that that's what's wrong with this country, that people don't care.
01:31:01.000But I say that until someone acknowledges the fact that this system is broken, we need a radical overhaul of this system, a complete restructuring of the way we do business in this country.
01:31:42.000I think you could waste your whole life trying to understand this system and be a part of it and argue it and go to court and it will become your everything.
01:31:51.000And it's a system that we're born into.
01:31:53.000We're born into this system that we did not choose.
01:31:56.000We have no control of and it's so comprehensive and so fucking intertwined that just to study, a single branch of it would take up all of your time.
01:32:07.000If you just wanted to understand the stock market, that shit would take up every fucking hour of every day of your life just trying to figure out how all that shit worked.
01:32:16.000And even then, look at that fucking guy, that Bernie Madoff motherfucker.
01:32:21.000That guy was ripping off people who understood the business.
01:32:36.000Could you imagine if your whole life is dedicated to studying the stock market, you're a supposed expert, people ask you for advice, and meanwhile you got fucked.
01:34:12.000If there's a vote online whether or not you should be killed tonight, right now, if people watch this podcast, maybe 60% of the people would want you dead.
01:34:19.000For real, that's how crazy people are.
01:35:08.000The real problem is that I have to think about this fucked up system at all.
01:35:12.000That it's so broken, you have to keep an eye on it 24 hours a day because people are just stealing and getting us into fucking wars and making terrible decisions.
01:35:22.000And they'll blame it on all these troubles that are happening in other countries.
01:35:25.000But when you start fucking reading into it and you find out the shit that we do that causes all these troubles, you know, god damn, no wonder why everybody fucking hates us.
01:35:32.000We got our dirty little fingers in everything.
01:35:35.000It's not me that has my dirty little fingers in Afghanistan and Iraq and, you know, and fucking all sorts of shit that goes on in third world countries.
01:36:27.000I mean, when you get 300 million people in place, what the fuck?
01:36:30.000There's no other model of how to run a 300 million person empire and to do it correctly where people think it's fair.
01:36:37.000Because people are just, it's part of life is an intelligence test.
01:36:40.000And part of the intelligence test is how susceptible are you to manipulation?
01:36:45.000You know, I mean, literally, it's like a game.
01:36:47.000It's like there's people like these evangelists that you see, you know, at three o'clock in the morning that are fucking talking a certain cadence and like, especially that black guy with the hot dog rolls in the back of his neck, you know the guy I'm talking about?
01:36:58.000That motherfucker is always, you know, spouting out some Bible shit, but he's doing it so charismatic and he's sweating like a pig and everybody in the audience is going bananas and It's an intelligence test.
01:37:08.000The intelligence test is, do you believe?
01:37:10.000This guy is so confident, he's speaking so clearly.
01:38:46.000I'm sure living in Australia is part of- When you move a bunch of times, move around a bunch of times in this country, you realize the United States doesn't have one mentality.
01:38:53.000And then when you move or when you travel to other places, you're like, God, I could live here.
01:40:21.000If you lose your marbles, you can't buy new ones because they don't make them anymore.
01:40:25.000Yeah, the marble industry is way out of business, man.
01:40:31.000Yeah, pretty soon, I think it's almost going to be like how the internet kind of...
01:40:35.000In the old days, I wasn't talking to people from England every day, and Australia, and that kind of broke that wall.
01:40:41.000I think in the future, there's not going to...
01:40:42.000Like, once religion kind of fizzles out a little bit more, I think even just countries are going to fizzle out more, because we're probably going to be just teleporting to Japan every day, you know?
01:41:08.000It's probably going to be something like sending our brainwaves to another body in Japan that We have like a backup body.
01:41:14.000And if we get to a position where we talked about before like you know we talked about like Twitter and Facebook and this connectivity that people share right now.
01:41:21.000It's like we're connected so much more now than we've ever been before.
01:41:24.000If we really do get to a place where no secrets We'll exist.
01:41:31.000You'll be able to read each other's minds.
01:41:32.000We'll be able to access each other's information.
01:41:34.000Maybe that's the only way we'll ever really have a real government.
01:41:39.000When we'll really realize that we really can't bullshit things.
01:41:42.000That we need to have to come clean about the fact that we live in a crazy dictatorship that's dressed up as a democracy where these gigantic corporations are making millions of dollars and we just have to just accept the fact that we're under their rule.
01:41:55.000It's the same way They accepted the fact when they lived in fucking England, they were under the rule of the king and all these different countries that are controlled by monarchs.
01:46:47.000Hey, MayhemMiller12, when you say Joe is being a dick, I'm telling you, it's distracting to me, and it keeps me from being able to do this podcast well.
01:47:27.000I don't think you can have shit out there in the fucking...
01:47:33.000Numbers in computers, it's got to represent something, right?
01:47:37.000The problem with money is it doesn't really represent anything.
01:47:41.000It kind of represents more ideas than anything.
01:47:43.000It's not like one piece of gold is $1 and that piece of gold is sitting in an account somewhere and you can go cash your $100 bill in for 100 pieces of gold.
01:47:57.000You can't have just all numbers in computers.
01:48:00.000Because people just can fuck you, you know?
01:48:02.000Like, you've been going through, I don't know how much you want to talk about this, but you've been going through some bullshit with the IRS where they, you know, they audit you and fuck with you and go into your...
01:48:12.000I mean, numbers and, like, storing numbers and how much numbers did you put on this and how many numbers went to that and...
01:48:21.000Yeah, my brain does not care about any of that shit.
01:48:25.000But that's how I've always been with that.
01:48:26.000Anything that I'm forced to do almost, I almost don't care about.
01:48:30.000Yeah, well that's sort of one of the reasons why people sort of become artistic in the first place.
01:48:37.000I think one of the reasons why people become artistic is because You know, you're fighting against a bunch of shit you don't like and you go against the grain and you wind up doing something that's totally unconventional.
01:48:48.000You know, that's how people become musicians and comedians and artists and stuff.
01:49:24.000When you have kids, you start wondering, like, how is this little person gonna be How are they gonna be happy in this crazy world as it gets nuttier and nuttier and more goddamn earthquakes?
01:49:43.000Yeah, it's like whoever opened up the treasure chest from Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark, you know, it seems like something fucked up happened.
01:49:50.000I know, isn't it weird how many people want to think that it's because of, like, US government experiments that they're creating earthquakes?
01:53:12.000Yeah, well I think if you just tag it with the conspiracy theory name, but I think if you don't believe the conspiracies but you think that's an interesting approach to an idea or something.
01:53:24.000Like people that just think 9-11 was done by our own government and they don't think anything else and stuff like that, that's a sick way to think of anything.
01:53:32.000You should never put all your eggs in one basket type thing.
01:53:35.000Putting all your eggs in one basket is a real problem.
01:53:37.000We've talked about that before with our friends with certain subjects.
01:53:41.000People love for there to be mysteries that they can unsolve.
01:53:45.000They love for there to be some hidden information that they can unsolve, whether it's about 9-11 or about anything.
01:53:51.000But the reality is, unless you really, really, really research shit, most people are just talking out of their ass when it comes to these subjects.
01:54:01.000And when you do start researching shit, you realize, well, you can't just blanketly discount Or discredit all conspiracy theories just because it seems like a ridiculous thing because a lot of them are fucking real.
01:54:14.000The Gulf of Tonkin, the fucking Operation Northwoods.
01:54:17.000There's a lot of different shit that the government has done and different companies have done.
01:54:21.000Cigarette companies have conspired to hide the facts about tobacco and to make sure that people keep smoking them and people are addicted.
01:54:29.000This motherfucker is hook, line, and sinker with the cigarettes.
01:55:50.000I don't give a fuck about borders, like your own joke.
01:55:53.000It's interesting, you know, because people can, you know, you can criticize that, you can say that's apathy, you know, like this discussion that we had on the board, but I don't think they're right.
01:56:10.000I can see people saying, well, if everybody thought that way, there'd be no government, and it'd be, oh, this is bullshit, you know, you have to fucking stand up.
01:56:16.000I can see that argument, but I can also see yours, man.
01:57:16.000This is the reason why California is so in debt.
01:57:19.000We got an actor to be the fucking governor.
01:57:22.000We went with a dude that seemed like he was a no-nonsense actor and we took this fucking dude who was an action film star and we made him the governor and shit just hit the fan.