On this week's episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys are joined by special guest Josh McDermott to talk about music, drugs, and the weirdest thing he's ever heard. They also discuss Russell Peters and why he's not a good DJ. Also, the guys talk about how they're not a fan of the Tiesto guy and why they don't think he's good at what he does, which is DJing music. And, of course, there's a surprise guest appearance from a very special guest who's not only a friend of the show, but also an old childhood friend of Joe's! This episode is brought to you by The Fleshlight, Onnit, and AlphaBrain. AlphaBrain is a nootropic supplement that helps boost your cognitive function. I like them, I use them, and that's why we got them here, working with us. Go to Onnit.net, click on the Onnit link, and enter the code "ROGAN" and you get 10% off the code name Rogan, and you'll get 15% off of the most popular sex toy for men, the Fleshlight. Also, we're working with Onnit to make sure you don't miss out on the 10% discount code, "Rogan". Cheers! Cheers, Joe and the boys. , and Cheers. . - The Joe Rogans Experience Podcast. -Jon & Brian Jon & the boys Brian and the crew Josh and the team and the rest of the Rogans The Rogan Podcast. -Jon and the Rogan Boys . . . -The Rogan Crew & the crew at The Fleshlights And much more! -Josie and the guys at Onnit (and a special guest, ) Thanks to our sponsor, Joe RogAN Thank you for listening to this episode, and for supporting the show! -Jon Rogan and the people who sent us out to make it happen! and we appreciate you, Jon Rogan & the support we got to be a part of this podcast! -The Fleshlight and the AlphaBrain Podcast, AlphaBrain, and we hope you enjoy it! -JON & the Alpha Brain Podcast, and so much more. -JOSH AND THE FOGAN AND THE DOGAN EPISODE!
00:00:08.000The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:12.000If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:00:20.000Both Brian and I have used it, and by the end of this show, Josh McDermott will have a complimentary Fleshlight that he will be taking home with himself.
00:00:28.000Sure, they have zombie fleshlights now.
00:00:30.000Like ones that are all fucked up and broken looking.
00:01:42.000Oh dude, I don't think you and I have any idea how big that guy is.
00:01:46.000I've looked online and watched his concerts where it's like him on a stage and he's got like a bunch of laptops and a bunch of musical equipment and he's like pumping his fist and there's a huge audience of people that are like dancing along to him.
00:01:59.000And I don't know how many big DJs there are like that.
00:02:02.000We'd have to get Russell Peters back on to explain to us the whole world of DJing.
00:02:06.000Because Russell doesn't like the guy because he says that what he's basically doing is sort of like Is your friend a girl or a guy?
00:04:47.000This guy does like 50,000 seat arenas where people are out there like pumping their fists and he's fucking playing records.
00:04:53.000I mean, there's one thing if the music's good, but I mean, there's like an art to being a DJ about mixing the stuff right there when you're on stage being in that moment, but if you're just sitting there pushing play, fuck that.
00:05:03.000Well, I think a lot of people are looking for cool shit to do when you're fucked up on drugs.
00:05:16.000If you're on ecstasy and you go to one of his shows, first of all, you're going to be sure there's going to be a lot of other people on ecstasy too.
00:05:21.000I mean, it's electronic music and everyone's dancing and everyone's drinking.
00:05:37.000You know that he's going to draw them all in.
00:05:40.000They're all going to come to him because they know what he does.
00:05:42.000So you're going to have your like-minded people there that you're going to want to meet up at the Tiesto concert, and then everybody just fucking dances, and he puts on a show, and you're blitzed out of your fucking head, and you know it's going to last for four hours.
00:09:28.000Clark, who's the guy who runs the place, I go, did Cat Williams put a gun on you?
00:09:31.000And he's like, no, we didn't pull I want to hear the stories I haven't heard yet from Dayton, Ohio, where he fucking ate a guy's ass out or something.
00:09:54.000No, you're just making stuff up, you silly fuck.
00:09:56.000No, but there has to be stories that just never made it to TMZ. I was in the weed store once and Cat Williams' assistant came in and she announced herself.
00:10:47.000What people didn't like about it, what a lot of comics were upset about, the true reason, is that he had somehow or another tapped into this boy band thing.
00:11:31.000It's not like Dick Clark Productions put together some comedian and taught him how to dress and then foisted him onto the American public, like what happens with a lot of music acts.
00:14:53.000It was before neither one of us, you know, I think maybe I'd just gotten on news radio and Kevin, you know, nobody knew who Kevin was yet, and we went to see Kiss.
00:15:02.000Two nights in a fucking row we went to see it.
00:17:19.000It probably wasn't too fucking easy growing up on the Mickey Mouse Club and being in a fucking limelight when you were a child and all your developmental years.
00:17:45.000Those should be the pictures, the Lindsay Lohan pictures that we get.
00:17:48.000I don't want to see that airbrush cropped out bullshit where she's pretending to get on a fucking polo pony, you know, and her ass just happens to be hanging out of her pants.
00:17:57.000Yeah, but this is, I mean, obviously a total PR move, so people who are kind of managing the PR of this won't ever let that happen, and that's disappointing.
00:22:22.000I had a buddy who sent me that, and I watched about 10 seconds of it when this chick's like trying too hard to be viral, and I'm pissed that she became viral.
00:22:45.000And if you were an alien and you were from another planet and you were evaluating Earth and whether or not the Earthlings should be allowed to move forward, you would look at things like this and you would go, wow, wait a minute.
00:24:00.000When you're a woman, and if you're an unattractive woman, and another woman is really attractive, all of a sudden it's like she stole something from you.
00:24:08.000It's like she has this magical power just to some fucking roll of the dice, and so they feel like it's okay to be cunty to them.
00:24:16.000Because the woman actually makes them feel like we're already at a deficit before the conversation even starts.
00:25:00.000He was just kind of off, and the way his wife would describe him, she was saying like, oh, he's a manly man, and he's like a cowboy, and he's just muscular and all this shit.
00:25:09.000He just looks like a dude who sits in a cubicle.
00:25:11.000I mean, I know he didn't, but he looks like he's never been in the gym in his life.
00:25:14.000But, you know, it wasn't like a fat tub of shit, but he was just all right.
00:25:18.000And I was just like, this woman has blinders on, you know?
00:25:21.000Yeah, well, I think some people, you know, they sit down and they go, well, how are you going to talk about me?
00:25:25.000Well, I'm going to say that, you know, you're the most beautiful woman on earth and, you know, the love of my life.
00:26:32.000I've seen them change from this very nice older woman, you know, is just accepting the fact that she's entering her 40s or 50s or whatever, and this is just life, the cycle of life for all of us.
00:26:44.000There's other things to concentrate on other than that, and instead they just...
00:27:05.000It's almost like people thought that because you were allowed to have duck lip tits, those those fucking stupid tits were not only like they were encouraged like like Nobody went, you know, you ridiculous bitch.
00:27:20.000But if you go duck lips on the lips, then we go get out of here.
00:31:22.000Yeah, like when you watch those gangbang scenes, you watch a gangbang scene and like, you know, they get together and they go, alright, how many do you want to do?
00:31:42.000Instead, since they can't be pure and loved and they can't be accepted for who they are, instead they just go deep, deep into the slut barrel.
00:32:28.000But these chicks just, you know, it goes back into, you know, I'm going to fuck 150 more guys.
00:32:35.000I'm going to go fuck dwarfs or whatever, you know?
00:32:38.000Well, you know, I mean, I'm a shitty armchair psychologist, you know, and when I break down porn stars and like, well, why does a person do this?
00:32:58.000But I can't help but, especially since I have daughters of my own, whenever I see something like that, there's this weird part of me that has to do the math.
00:33:10.000I can't just watch a girl with a dick in her mouth and one in her asshole and one in her vagina.
00:35:09.000I keep hearing he's trying to make a comeback or something, and then I never hear anything about it.
00:35:13.000Anytime I hear his name, it's always trying to get things in order because he's going to do a comeback and then you just don't hear anything.
00:35:18.000Well, he was doing stand-up for a while.
00:35:20.000He came to the comedy store a bunch of times.
00:36:26.000They imply that they think that there's some armed person who has entered the building, that everyone needs to get into a corner and huddle up.
00:36:34.000And then they go through the fucking high school with drug-sniffing dogs looking for pot.
00:36:41.000So they scared these fucking kids into thinking that there was a shooter in their building.
00:36:46.000Now, they don't know the history of any of these people.
00:36:48.000What if one of these kids was related to someone who got shot at Columbine or many of those other school shootings, and you're going to give some horrible trauma to some fucking kid who remembers their Uncle Mike who got shot in the fucking head?
00:37:11.000Meanwhile, these fucking kids now are going to think, oh, they're willing to lie to us for a shit reason.
00:37:17.000They're not even going to ask us, do you have drugs, and then search the school unexpectedly.
00:37:22.000Instead of doing that, what they're going to do is lie to us about a fucking shooter, about an armed intruder, get us terrified...
00:37:29.000Now, how the fuck are you ever going to believe them if they come on the loudspeaker again and say, an armed intruder has entered into the school?
00:39:00.000Did you fucking think this shit through at all?
00:39:03.000It's just one of the things where it makes you just realize that there's no special qualifications to be in charge of a situation like this.
00:39:12.000To be that guy who comes up with that shitty fucking idea and then implements it without anybody stopping him...
00:39:28.000I mean, I know cops just want to keep their fucking job and keep their fucking pension, but when your boss tells you that, you got to be like, Jesus Christ, we're going to bring dogs to the fucking high school and you're going to tell them that there's a shooter?
00:39:40.000Well, I mean, it's doubtful, but maybe the cops didn't know.
00:39:43.000Maybe they said, you just get the kids off in one area and we'll come through with the...
00:39:54.000A school administrator announced over the public address system that a dangerous intruder had entered the school and that all students were to remain in their classrooms away from windows...
00:40:04.000And ideally huddled in one corner of the room.
00:41:34.000But there's ways to handle it that don't get kids terrified of jackboot thugs for the rest of their fucking lives and lies, the lies that the people that are in control are going to tell you no matter what.
00:44:37.000There's been so many people that have tried to make me a Wikipedia page, and then it gets canceled because it says I'm not important enough, which I agree.
00:45:54.000So I'm asking one of the moderators, or editors, or whatever, and I'm like, what do I have to do?
00:46:01.000And they're like, well, you need to send links of your work on other websites, or other publications, or who you are, On other publications that are linked.
00:46:09.000So I'm sending them like on Sirius XM Radio.
00:46:12.000They talk about our podcast being broadcasted.
00:46:30.000See, your girl wants to start branching out into male porn, and you're resisting, and you'll say, well, I'll just fuck you, and it'll kill two birds with one stone.
00:47:24.000And he just asks two questions at some little guest star thing.
00:47:28.000And so what I put on Wikipedia, I make a Wikipedia page for him, just as like a joke, like, oh, Brandon Lombardi is an American actor, and...
00:48:04.000There's some kind of government that runs Wikipedia, and they want you to know who they want you to know, almost like the media, where it should be an open source thing, like it started off.
00:48:22.000Yeah, but I was a guest on the Adam Carolla radio show about the Carlos Mencia video.
00:48:26.000I have little things that I would get more important than somebody that's like, I was in a blowjob video when I was 18. The blowjob video provides a lot of people with something to beat off to.
00:48:36.000I don't even think you should be knocking it.
00:48:37.000Like, what's Charlie Sheen's girl, the crazy, his ex, the crazy slut?
00:50:37.000Beast, dude, like 6'4", 240, built like a comic book superhero, smashing everybody, and he was like a big star in their organization.
00:50:46.000So they were trying to assemble some press on this guy And they do a search And they find out that a gentleman with the same name Had won something called the Hungriest Butt Contest So this is pre-Google man This is like, who knows what they had for search engines back then.
00:51:10.000So, clearly, this couldn't be our guy.
00:55:36.000So anyways, last night I was watching, what's that show where they try to break Mythbusters?
00:55:47.000I was watching Mythbusters and they were doing a theory on eons and it was so weird that out of nowhere that I saw this.
00:55:55.000And they would put people around in groups and then see if one person was to yawn, if it would start a yawn off where everyone would be yawning eventually.
00:56:03.000And what's really interesting, it wasn't a high number, which I thought it was, but there was definitely shown that if you yawn in a group, that there would be more yawns per group.
00:56:13.000Yeah, well, I don't think that that's a smart way to test that.
00:57:18.000Yeah, but what if that was some weird communication that we're missing out, like you're supposed to yawn with the person next to you at the same time?
00:57:52.000When you yawn, your heartbeat, I think it goes up 30% rate, and your lungs completely fill up with air, and it does all this shit when you yawn.
00:58:02.000It makes me also wonder if there was something else there.
00:58:29.000I mean, saying that your heart jumps 30 beats per minute, I mean, that's what happens when you take a stimulant.
00:58:32.000Maybe like the idea of this big burst of...
00:58:36.000This big burst of oxygen in an unusual fashion like that, maybe it sparks an extra little pump of blood flow that's supposed to send a signal.
00:59:21.000So there's some evidence that the Justice Department is proposing new Freedom of Information Act rules that allow the government to inform the public that records do not exist, even if they do.
00:59:33.000So the Freedom of Information Act, you're supposed to be able to say, hey, is there records on blah, blah, blah?
00:59:38.000They're supposed to in cases where it's not...
00:59:41.000I'm sure there must be some fucking national security rules.
01:00:18.000It's almost like the Justice Department is putting this out now and doing this so they don't have to talk about shit like that Fast and Furious gunrunning thing.
01:00:41.000It doesn't make sense that at this stage of the game that people still think that they can communicate with people like this.
01:00:49.000Or they can just lie to you and just tell you that files don't exist even if they do.
01:00:54.000Like 30, 40 years ago, Freedom of Information Act comes out.
01:00:58.000Nobody thinks anything of it because how many people are actually going to be asking for it?
01:01:02.000But now that everyone's a blogger, everyone's got their own podcast doing stuff, I mean, it's like anyone could get that information and just start really doing some fucking damage.
01:02:55.000If nobody went to jail for that, and there's no punishment for that kind of corruption and that kind of mismanagement of the government, then all that happens is it evolves.
01:04:09.000And the only reason why they came up with a third bullet, you know, the reason why they had to have that single bullet theory, and this is one thing a lot of people don't know, is because there was a guy under the bridge, he was under the overpass, and he got hit by a ricochet.
01:04:21.000And since they had committed to the idea that there was three shots that were fired from Oswald's gun, they had to count for all these different wounds.
01:04:28.000One of them being a wound in the front of the neck.
01:04:30.000That in the initial autopsy, they diagnosed as a wound in the front of the neck.
01:04:35.000And then in Bethesda, Maryland, when they flew the body, they said it was a trach wound.
01:04:38.000And that they opened up it to help him breathe.
01:04:41.000Why are you helping someone breathe that is missing their fucking head?
01:04:45.000His brains got shot all over the fucking backseat of that car.
01:04:50.000Stop pretending that that guy was alive when they flew him across the continent and they stuck a trach wound in it.
01:04:56.000It's an entry wound from a bullet and they can't account for that bullet.
01:05:00.000So all they came up with was, oh, well, one bullet just went wickety-wackety inside of his body and shattered bones in two different people and came out looking almost pristine.
01:05:10.000It's amazing how few people believe that.
01:05:13.000And it's because people like things tidy, and they like things neat, and they love this idea of Occam's Razor, that the simplest solution is always the correct one.
01:05:55.000He wants to get rid of the CIA. You know, the CIA, at the time, had only been around for about 20 years.
01:05:59.000The CIA was created after World War II. So from World War II to when Kennedy was shot in the 60s, it was building up steam and he didn't like it.
01:06:09.000He thought they should get rid of the CIA. He thought they should get rid of the Federal Bank.
01:06:12.000He was proposing to restructure everything.
01:06:15.000And they shot that dude right in the fucking head.
01:06:17.000And if you don't think that's what happened, you're crazy.
01:06:20.000Because Lyndon Johnson took over after him, and he's basically just a version of George Bush.
01:06:25.000Just a play it by the book, good old boy, version of George Bush.
01:06:29.000And they went deep into Vietnam right afterwards, and they stayed there for a while.
01:06:34.000There's no doubt in my mind that they killed that guy.
01:06:44.000I think there's certain people that get this idea in their head.
01:06:46.000They're going to get in there and they're just going to fucking change shit and it's really going to happen.
01:06:51.000And then they get there and they go, whoa, so this is how it works.
01:06:54.000We were talking about Colin Powell yesterday and I've always thought that he was one of those guys.
01:06:58.000That, like, probably could have been president, you know, and when you're running for president, I think they don't let you know shit.
01:07:05.000I don't think you have a clue as to how it works.
01:07:07.000And then finally, one day, you're actually in office, and you realize, oh my god, like, they take you into the Matrix room, where you watch all the fetuses that are connected to these metal spikes that suck fluid out of their brains to feed this mothership.
01:07:22.000And you look at it, and you go, oh my god, this is the truth?
01:07:57.000You know, force us into these weird fucking wars and these creepy parts of the world and coming up with these stupid fucking reasons why we're supposed to be there.
01:08:05.000At Occupy LA, they had these pumpkins, and each pumpkin was carved with a different president or person in office, you know?
01:08:12.000And every time they made a Bush one, it would get smashed within like 30 minutes.
01:08:16.000So every time the guy told me he would walk by, it was always smashed.
01:10:36.000They said they weren't going to do anything special for the fact that he visited that location because apparently Reagan and who's the other president who's from California?
01:15:10.000Well, this was one of the best movies at sort of representing that, that Fire in the Sky movie, because it really did represent that feeling of like, that guy really did seem like he was stuck.
01:17:31.000And that's Kurt Russell in his prime, dude, with holding on to a fucking stick of grenades with a blowtorch in his hand, fucking with all the ice in his face.
01:17:41.000I'll blow this whole And you're like, whoa, that's intense.
01:17:45.000This chick never hit that kind of a, oh my god, I'm about to die, peak.
01:17:50.000It was like, she's around aliens and craziness and duh, but still, somehow or another, she's way too composed for me.
01:17:58.000To me, I think everybody should have been really freaking the fuck out, and I just didn't have that.
01:21:14.000They went to Liberia and literally they're in a whorehouse in Liberia where it was like a dollar or it might have been less than a dollar to have sex with somebody.
01:21:45.000I don't know the history of it and that's why it'd be great to have him on because I don't know how it got founded but these guys have fucking balls, man.
01:21:55.000They're savages and I've been a big fan of their work for a long time.
01:21:58.000One of them, my favorite one is the one where they go up to visit that guy that lives deep, deep, deep in Alaska.
01:22:04.000That guy that lives, remember, he lives alone with his wife.
01:22:10.000They have this little log cabin in the middle of nowhere in northeast Alaska.
01:22:17.000Northeast Alaska, like way the fuck up there, where there's nobody, man.
01:22:21.000And this guy, they go hang out with him, and he's just every day hunting caribou, fishing for fish.
01:22:48.000It's a really fascinating fucking show.
01:22:51.000And in the middle of the show, they have to kill a bear because the bear was getting out his food because he shoots caribou and then he has to hang the caribou.
01:23:22.000Well, if he's been there for 30 years, maybe he left in the 80s where it was like, oh, cassette tapes suck, fucking Atari 2600, this is lame, I gotta get out of here.
01:24:52.000For the meat and for the fact that they need the meat to stay alive, but just for the actual excitement of it because there's an exciting thing about procuring your own food, going out and getting your own food and sustaining yourself through your own work instead of sustaining yourself through a supermarket where you just kind of emptily pay for things and then just consume them.
01:25:14.000Some people really believe that the real true way to be happy is to...
01:25:18.000I mean, it's not very progressive because eventually we have to evolve past the state, but some people think the true way to be happy is to live as if people were living thousands of years ago when there was no electricity.
01:25:30.000And then all this technology, even though we're enjoying it, It's enhancing our life.
01:25:34.000We're not really wired to use this stuff.
01:25:37.000We're not wired to be influenced by it.
01:25:40.000Like televisions, we were talking about TVs and movies.
01:25:43.000Think about the influence that a film has.
01:25:46.000Think about the influence that that has compared to any influence that you would actually see in the natural world and compared to what you're supposed to be receiving.
01:25:54.000The human brain, like as you're developing and learning and going through life, you're supposed to be impressed by certain things, acts of bravery.
01:26:01.000You're supposed to be impressed by character, impressed by leadership.
01:26:04.000And all these things are supposed to impress you because you should eventually take on that role yourself if you're a man.
01:26:11.000You should actually develop to a person of character and respect and leadership.
01:26:15.000Hopefully, if you ever want to become the leader.
01:26:17.000But until then, you follow the leader.
01:26:19.000You follow the alpha because that's the one that has all the information.
01:26:24.000And if you want to stay alive, you follow him.
01:26:26.000Now, this is what's programmed in our head, but instead of that, what we're getting in this is this fucking 100-foot screen.
01:26:34.000We're wearing glasses that make everything 3D, and this paralyzed dude is going to fuck this blue chick.
01:26:40.000And it's like our bodies and our brains almost can't process that much bullshit.
01:26:45.000It's like even though we know it's just a movie...
01:26:49.000There's certain parts of our subconscious or even our consciousness that I think are programmed to expect movie-like results from real life.
01:26:59.000And when you don't have anything like that, when you realize that the reality of it is, whoa, now I'm just some weird person who gets in a metal fucking box and it's on rubber wheels and I ride over this hard surface to this same spot where I sit in a cubicle every fucking day and repeat over and over again.
01:27:15.000There's no Sandra Bullock movie for me, man.
01:28:43.000I was thinking with how good Siri is, imagine being able to tell your TV, like, find me Family Guy Thursday, record, turn to channel HBO, record that, you know, and how it's probably going to mix in with the Siri into the TV. Wouldn't that be awesome?
01:29:30.000It changes the atmosphere, the temperature.
01:29:33.000What's funny is that's so funny how that's old technology already.
01:29:38.000Because even with Kinect, with Xbox, you have it in your house, and you walk in the room, it detects your face, and then logs you in on Kinect.
01:29:45.000Does it start playing music and change the lights?
01:29:48.000No, but it logs you in and then you can have your Netflix and you sit there with your hand and you stream through the movies with your hand.
01:31:38.000My girlfriend's brother's building a computer right now, and he just bought his new case, and he brought home this case that looks like Alienware.
01:32:02.000And then there's that new game that just came out today, Battlefield 3, and they're showing how badass it looks, and now I'm thinking, man, I almost want to build some stupid gaming computer.
01:32:14.000Dude, you don't got as much free time as it is.
01:32:23.000I used to love the satisfaction of putting together a computer.
01:32:27.000You know, punching and putting in the motherboard, Punching in the RAM, you know, setting everything up, and then the moment it turns on, you boot up Windows.
01:34:24.000I've heard people talk about coconut water and they're like, oh, I love it.
01:34:27.000So I went to Whole Foods and I bought three different kinds because I figured I wouldn't like one of them or whatever just to try them out.
01:37:11.000And then I usually do something like this.
01:37:12.000Like, I'm doing this podcast right now.
01:37:14.000I probably will get home, do the podcast, put it up online, and then probably eat around 7 or 8 o'clock at night.
01:37:20.000My problem is last night I had skinless grilled chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, fruit.
01:37:27.000My question when I read these things, when you read a study that has more evidence against vitamin use, my fucking tinfoil hat always goes up.
01:37:37.000And I always go, well, how do I not know that this isn't some shit that the pharmaceutical companies have come up with to discourage people from using vitamins?
01:37:46.000Like a study they funded or something?
01:37:48.000Yeah, they found out that if you take vitamins, you're less likely to get a certain amount of things that we need drugs to cure.
01:37:53.000And so they're trying to squash the pharmaceutical industry.
01:37:56.000You know, the pharmaceutical industry was trying at one point in time, and they have recently tried it again.
01:38:02.000They've talked about doing this, where they want to regulate vitamins and minerals.
01:38:07.000And they want to make it so they're only by prescription.
01:38:11.000So they're going to cost a lot more and you're going to have to get them from pharmaceutical companies.
01:38:15.000So instead of these companies like GNC or all these different places that sell vitamins, those will essentially be taken over by the pharmaceutical companies and their massive amounts of profits.
01:38:26.000We'll, in turn, be absorbed by the pharmaceutical industry.
01:38:29.000The pharmaceutical industry, by using the American government, will essentially jack the whole nutritional market and take it over.
01:38:53.000And so whenever I see studies like this, and I know that this was a very recently proposed thing, I always wonder if they're jockeying for positioning.
01:39:00.000I always wonder what the fuck they're doing.
01:39:05.000And then once they take position, they'll say, well, if you get FDA-approved vitamins and minerals, it's been shown that moderate doses of FDA-approved vitamins and minerals can actually prevent certain diseases.
01:39:19.000This is one of the benefits of having the government take over the pharmaceutical industry is that we're able to run tests on them and get conclusive results using taxpayer money.
01:39:28.000And now everybody can be safe to take government-approved vitamins.
01:39:32.000So when I hear stories like this, I don't necessarily...
01:39:48.000And then I realized how the whole system works with university professors and the fucking studies that they put out and then the cushy jobs that they get afterwards and they make millions of dollars by playing ball with everybody.
01:40:00.000No, but I heard about exactly what you're talking about.
01:40:03.000It just makes me wonder, is there any honesty left in the world for anything?
01:40:09.000When you're dealing with that kind of money, I think, the money for the professors, millions of dollars, all of a sudden they're working for Merrick and they're developing some fucking brain drug for Merrick and making millions and millions of fucking dollars.
01:40:22.000For them, it's like the numbers are too high.
01:40:26.000I wonder if there is anything uncorrupt.
01:40:31.000I think the only thing that's going to save people, honestly, is there's going to have to be some app that's created eventually that lets us see the truth always.
01:40:51.000What's fucked up about human beings is the lies and the bullshit and the real motivation behind things, whether it's Operation Northwoods or whether it's them trying to fucking take over the vitamin industry under the guise they're trying to help us.
01:42:06.000Like, take the eye and try to, like, design the eye to make it the best, most efficient eye.
01:42:10.000And somebody created the nose, like, no, it has to be, you know, it has to have these filters of hair, so it, you know, collects dust before they inhale it, you know.
01:42:18.000It's amazing that there, is there somebody that sat around and had to design every single part of the human person?
01:43:29.000Those were all like the revision B, C, D, E. I don't think so.
01:43:33.000I think there's some sort of an ecosystem.
01:43:36.000But if there's anything that looks alien, it's us.
01:43:38.000If you really wanted to make the argument, and there is a logical argument, If you really want to make the argument that there has been genetic engineering, there's two animals that you'd make that argument with.
01:45:55.000Some of the funniest shit, my dad had a friend who would come over, the nicest guy in the world, but our dog Larry didn't like the sound of his voice and she would just bark like crazy and try to attack him.
01:46:07.000But she was the nicest dog to everyone.
01:46:10.000And this dude, for whatever reason, just come over and she would attack him.
01:46:12.000Wow, he probably fucked her when you weren't looking.
01:46:44.000And they just recently moved it back way, way, way, way, way back.
01:46:47.000They moved the dawn of civilization back almost 6,000 years really recently because they found this huge structure in Gobekli Tepe.
01:46:56.000And they used to think that back then people were just living in caves and they had these 19-foot tall carved stone columns with animals on them.
01:48:28.000It blows me away that over time that much dirt and just shit has just piled up to cover that temple and now it's just on some dude's farmland.
01:48:36.000Well actually this one I think they believe was covered over on purpose.
01:48:39.000They believe that someone at some point in time actually covered it.
01:48:44.000Yeah, because of the nature of the dirt that's covering it, they believe that it's actually artificial, that someone brought it in and covered up the stone structures.
01:49:21.000Why is it so different in its ability to communicate?
01:49:24.000The idea is that somehow or another, the aliens came down and said, God, you know how long it's going to take for these fucking monkeys to ever figure out anything?
01:49:32.000It could take billions of years, and it can never happen.
01:49:40.000They might catch some crazy infection, or there might be some spider that's fucking toxic that likes to live in their sheets and eats them alive.
01:49:47.000There might be no chance of these monkeys making it.
01:49:58.000And that's also the idea of a guy named Zachariah Sitchin, and he wrote all these books about this shit, about the ancient Sumerians had written this.
01:50:05.000Very controversial stuff But it's all about the Sumerian text And how the Anunnaki We're on this planet That's in an elliptical orbit And every 3,600 years It comes near our planet And they hop off And fucking come hang out with us for a little Show us some shit And then disappear And then by the time 3,600 years rolls around We forget about it again So when are we due Probably like a week or so.
01:50:57.000One of them, one of the planets is spinning, like the rings are going the wrong way, and they believe more than likely it's because it got fucking nailed by another planet.
01:51:11.000Earth 1 and Earth 2, that's how the moon was created.
01:51:13.000Earth 1, like 4 billion years ago, got hit with some Mars-sized planet and just slammed into us and knocked off a fucking slab, and that created the moon.
01:51:44.000Well, you would if it was interesting to you.
01:51:45.000This stuff is absolutely fascinating to me, so I retain all sorts of stupid shit when it comes to that.
01:51:51.000I find it fascinating, but I'll get into an article and I'll read three sentences and then go make a sandwich and then forget what I was doing.
01:51:57.000Get some alpha brain in your system, son.
01:55:20.000Sometimes it's just the discipline to sit down and write shit out.
01:55:24.000Because the discipline to write shit out is such a different mindset than the mindset that comes up with something silly.
01:55:30.000You'll come up with something hilarious and ridiculous, and that mindset is just like this shit-talking, good-time, fucking-around mindset.
01:55:37.000And then the other mindset is, we might be able to make money off this here.
01:55:41.000This little piece of gold we got here, so make sure we type this up, you know?
01:55:45.000It's funny how they're both completely different mindsets, where it's like, we know a lot of funny people that never write their shit down, you know?
01:57:46.000Do you have a schedule, like what you try to do, like put out shit for a couple years, put it down on a CD, and then try to write a whole new schedule or a whole new act?
01:59:44.000And then I remember I saw you sit down to eat a meal after the show, and you're sitting there, and you were even turning to Dan, and you're like, what is this show going on?
01:59:52.000I'm like, I finished the show, now there's another show, and this sucks.
02:01:58.000Like, he wouldn't call you Josh McDermott.
02:02:00.000He would call you, fucking, you know, I like that guy, that Josh McDougal, he's fucking hilarious.
02:02:05.000And he would come up with just a subtle, and I think he does it a little bit on purpose, you know, just a subtle fuck up in the way you need.
02:02:43.000It's so hard for someone to really truly be themselves.
02:02:46.000It's a very difficult thing that we have in this life, this want for self-acceptance and sex and money and poor Brian can't get on Wikipedia.
02:04:34.000I think she wanted to be a comic, but she just never really did anything about it.
02:04:39.000Dude, she's the funniest person I know.
02:04:42.000For us, for someone who's done comedy, isn't it a sad, sad thing when you meet someone who really should be a comic and they're not doing it?
02:05:22.000Like, she told me this at five years old.
02:05:24.000She sat on a stool, lifted her stomach, had a retractable knife, which I didn't know was retractable, and started jamming it into her stomach, going, ah!
02:05:42.000So then, of course, you know, she'd pull her, she'd go, this is a retractable knife, and knowing my mom, she would do that shit all the time, but I'd be like, oh, that's hilarious.
02:05:48.000That's like the mother version of those cops that made those kids sit in the corner.
02:05:53.000That's like the mother version of that.
02:06:47.000So, like, my sister had a kid, like, and I don't know, he was like eight months old or whatever, he was in her bedroom, like, with pillows around him on the bed so he wouldn't roll off or whatever, and we were just sitting around, and my sister-in-law goes, where's Judy?
02:07:01.000And you hear her from the bedroom, she goes, I'm not doing anything, which is scary shit, because my mom's, like, always doing something, and we went back there, and she was just sitting on the bed with the baby, and we don't know what the fuck was going on.
02:08:04.000I'd come home from school and she'd pop some blood capsules in her mouth and lay on the sidewalk or in the middle of the way and I'd come home.
02:09:04.000Well, my mom's the type of woman that if I ever wanted her to do bits and everything, she would, but, you know, she fucked with us a lot, man.
02:09:14.000I mean, I got stories, just tons of stupid shit that she would do.
02:09:17.000That's how you become a comic, I guess, though, right?
02:09:19.000I mean, I don't think you become a comic, well, you can't say you never know.
02:09:41.000I haven't really talked about my mom on stage much just because I don't want to blow it too early.
02:09:46.000Because, you know, like, the longer you do comedy, the funnier you become, and you kind of understand your point of view a little bit more.
02:09:53.000I know that there's such great shit there, I don't want to blow it early.
02:12:32.000And I became this mini-celebrity on their show as Kako, which they didn't know was a fake guy.
02:12:40.000The story I told them, in the split second where I was coming up with this backstory, I said I was born in England and moved to the Philippines when I was two years old because my father was in the Royal Air Force.
02:12:52.000That way I thought, if I ever meet them, that will be the justification as to why I'm a white guy.
02:13:18.000So they would do these little concerts and like Garth Brooks would come into town and they would introduce Garth Brooks on stage and they would invite some of the players from the radio show out and then, you know, Kako was like this big star and he would come out there.
02:13:30.000In fact, the first time I met them, I walked into the studio and they just looked at me and they're like, what the fuck?
02:13:35.000And they're like, okay, you can drop the accent now.
02:13:37.000And I'm like, what are you talking about?
02:16:48.000And he owned like two or three radio stations and we were one of them.
02:16:51.000So we were like the focus of that company.
02:16:55.000When Clear Channel came in, they got hundreds of stations that could give a shit about us.
02:16:59.000And it just stopped being fun, so I had a buddy who started doing stand-up, and I was writing jokes for him, and then I'm like, I'll give this a shot.
02:17:06.000And it was more of an outlet for me because I'd have to censor myself on the air.
02:17:10.000They got this guy, I don't remember his name, but he was like the CEO or something.
02:17:14.000And he was always like, I think he was listening to a 50 Cent song.
02:17:18.000And his daughter was in the car and he had to turn it down.
02:20:48.000But if you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the On It link and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will save 10% off of the Alpha Brain supplement that I will be giving Josh McDermott along with a free fleshlight as he leaves tonight.
02:21:47.000As always, all you people out there driving your cars, listening on your treadmill, whatever the fuck you're doing, we're all in this together.