The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1549 - Tom Papa

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 Tom Papa, welcome to Real America.

00:00:14.000 I'm glad you've gotten out of your liberal hidey hole.

00:00:19.000 You come here, we can eat at a real restaurant.

00:00:22.000 It feels the same.

00:00:24.000 Does it?

00:00:24.000 Yeah.

00:00:25.000 What do you mean it feels the same?

00:00:26.000 It feels the same.

00:00:27.000 I went to a restaurant and, you know, is that what real life is now?

00:00:33.000 Restaurant or not a restaurant?

00:00:34.000 It feels the same where?

00:00:35.000 As it does in LA? Just walking around.

00:00:38.000 LA feels the same as this place?

00:00:40.000 Uh, kinda.

00:00:41.000 That's not what you were just saying before we got in the air. 0.99

00:00:43.000 What are you, a fucking propaganda? 0.99

00:00:45.000 The guy comes here. 1.00

00:00:47.000 No, I'll tell you what the difference is.

00:00:49.000 He's so different off air.

00:00:49.000 I'll tell you what the difference is.

00:00:51.000 He was saying y'all and all kinds of shit. 0.99

00:00:56.000 No, you know what I found? 0.99

00:00:58.000 I'm here with you by way of Denver, and then to here.

00:01:05.000 And they're all doing the same things, pretty much.

00:01:08.000 You have a little more indoor, but everyone's masked up, everyone's doing things.

00:01:11.000 But there's less anxiety in these places.

00:01:15.000 Right.

00:01:15.000 In LA, they keep the pressure turned up to scare you, to get you to behave.

00:01:21.000 So you do walk around feeling...

00:01:25.000 More trapped and more nervous.

00:01:27.000 Yeah, but it's not based on reality.

00:01:29.000 It's not wise.

00:01:30.000 It's not healthy. 0.93

00:01:31.000 Trump's 74 and he's fat and he kicked it in four days. 0.94

00:01:35.000 Yeah, but... 1.00

00:01:36.000 I don't give a fuck what anybody says. 0.99

00:01:38.000 What did they give that guy? 0.99

00:01:39.000 They gave him everything.

00:01:40.000 He's the President of the United States.

00:01:41.000 But it works.

00:01:42.000 They have a thing.

00:01:43.000 If you give him everything, it works.

00:01:45.000 It works for fat old guys. 1.00

00:01:47.000 Yeah, but he's getting stuff that's very different from what you would get just walking into Urgent Care in Encino.

00:01:52.000 Don't go to Urgent Care in Encino.

00:01:54.000 Go to Cedars-Sinai.

00:01:55.000 They'll hook you up with whatever he's got.

00:01:57.000 Yeah.

00:01:57.000 Do you think they...

00:01:58.000 Is he getting things that you can't get?

00:02:00.000 Yes.

00:02:01.000 In all seriousness?

00:02:02.000 Yeah.

00:02:02.000 Are you sure?

00:02:03.000 How do you know that?

00:02:03.000 100%, because the first thing is a trial drug that hasn't been approved yet.

00:02:07.000 They're not just handing that out at Cedars.

00:02:09.000 Is that the...

00:02:11.000 The first thing.

00:02:12.000 That's remdesivir?

00:02:14.000 No.

00:02:14.000 Did I say that?

00:02:14.000 No, everyone can get that.

00:02:16.000 Remdesivir?

00:02:16.000 Remdesivir.

00:02:17.000 Remdesivir.

00:02:18.000 Anyone can get that.

00:02:19.000 Anyone can get remdesivir.

00:02:20.000 And then, what is the other stuff they gave him?

00:02:21.000 But the other thing he got was the plasma-related...

00:02:24.000 Right.

00:02:24.000 Therapy.

00:02:25.000 You can't get that everywhere?

00:02:26.000 No.

00:02:27.000 Why can't you?

00:02:28.000 Because you're not the president of the United States.

00:02:30.000 Or maybe the liberal media is trying to keep that from you so that you stay sick so that they can get Biden into the White House.

00:02:35.000 Ever think about that?

00:02:36.000 All right.

00:02:36.000 Now, wait a second.

00:02:40.000 I literally, last night, because I literally was...

00:02:43.000 There is definitely so much confusion because that side is ramping up the fear 100%, making it scarier than it is so they can get him to be president.

00:02:55.000 And the other side is definitely saying from Trump on down, don't worry about this thing, so it makes it look like we did a good job and the economy comes back and all that stuff.

00:03:05.000 So I'm like, this cognitive dissonance.

00:03:07.000 Like, what is real?

00:03:09.000 I watched Tucker Carlson.

00:03:10.000 He made sense for a minute.

00:03:11.000 And then I watched Anderson.

00:03:13.000 He made sense for a minute.

00:03:15.000 And I was like, let me lift off into the satellite and let me just look at the world.

00:03:19.000 Let me see what's happening in the world that's not involved in this election.

00:03:25.000 Spain, France, Moscow, the Netherlands.

00:03:30.000 All opened up a little too much, and now we're all putting restrictions back.

00:03:35.000 Everything spiked.

00:03:36.000 Yeah, but if you want to look at other countries, look at Sweden, because they opened up completely, and they have less cases, and now they're back to normal.

00:03:44.000 They have no masks.

00:03:45.000 You go to a bar, no one's...

00:03:46.000 Obviously, it's a smaller country.

00:03:48.000 Smaller country.

00:03:49.000 I mean, look...

00:03:50.000 Less people.

00:03:51.000 They live in different sort of circumstances.

00:03:52.000 They have mostly smaller villages other than Stockholm, but they're fine.

00:03:59.000 I know, but if you look at Spain and you look at France and you look at Moscow, I mean, these places, there's no political agenda in these places.

00:04:06.000 There's no political agenda.

00:04:08.000 It's just, they opened up and they said, let's go all open.

00:04:11.000 And the case has skyrocketed, and now they have to bring it back a little bit.

00:04:15.000 The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans.

00:04:21.000 Eating all these extra humans? 1.00

00:04:23.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:04:23.000 What are you saying? 1.00

00:04:25.000 The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans?

00:04:28.000 Yeah.

00:04:28.000 What is that?

00:04:29.000 What do you mean?

00:04:31.000 What kind of way to describe it is that?

00:04:33.000 The virus is a real thing eating all these extra humans.

00:04:36.000 We have extra humans right now.

00:04:38.000 We have way too many humans.

00:04:39.000 You can't say that.

00:04:41.000 Well, it's the truth.

00:04:42.000 You know how sometimes you have moss that's growing, and it comes just up to the edge of the walkway, and you're like, that looks pretty.

00:04:48.000 And then it starts going over onto the brick and starts covering.

00:04:51.000 We are the moss, and we're covering the bricks now, and something's showing up and scaling us back a little bit.

00:04:58.000 Or there was an experimental virus that they were working on in the Wuhan, what is it, level four lab, and it got out.

00:05:07.000 Sweden, which refused COVID lockdown, says restrictions will remain for at least another year.

00:05:11.000 Yeah, but the restrictions are very different.

00:05:13.000 The restrictions are for really large gatherings, but you can go to restaurants, you can go to bars, you can go to all those places.

00:05:18.000 Yes, but there's still restrictions.

00:05:19.000 The virus is a real thing all around the planet, and it's gonna be a little bit.

00:05:24.000 It's gonna be till June, by the way, I heard in Denver.

00:05:28.000 How do they know that in Denver?

00:05:30.000 Are they the people who told you about eating up extra humans?

00:05:33.000 Jesus!

00:05:34.000 They told me that this pilot was talking to me at the show, and he said his doctor, of some note, was saying that all of our pandemics have lasted 18 months.

00:05:47.000 Despite what we try to do, restrictions, no restrictions, it runs its course.

00:05:51.000 18 months is about where the fire starts to subside and you go back to normal.

00:05:55.000 Historically.

00:05:56.000 Historically speaking.

00:05:57.000 And this one, and because it's 100 years in between pandemics, nobody's around to give you lessons from the last one.

00:06:05.000 So we make all the same mistakes.

00:06:07.000 And if you go by that, it's about June from when this virus started.

00:06:13.000 We're talking about June when we're back to normal.

00:06:15.000 Which is kind of upsetting, but kind of nice, also, that you have an end date.

00:06:20.000 You know, it's kind of like, alright, that's annoying, I gotta wear masks and do all this stuff and be kind of messed up.

00:06:25.000 But, till June?

00:06:27.000 That's kind of nice.

00:06:28.000 I can maybe make some plans.

00:06:29.000 I can make a 4th of July plan.

00:06:32.000 How many businesses are we gonna lose between now and June, though?

00:06:35.000 I think the real issue is people putting restrictions on what people can and can't do.

00:06:41.000 That's the real problem.

00:06:42.000 You're basically giving up your constitutional rights, and there's no real protection for you this way.

00:06:50.000 There's no real protection for your business.

00:06:52.000 There's no real protection for your livelihood.

00:06:54.000 And even with all this, you're still dealing with Other kinds of horrible deaths and other kinds of horrible things that go along with the economic despair.

00:07:06.000 Sure.

00:07:06.000 Like, how many people are going to die because of drug overdoses?

00:07:08.000 Or depression or suicide.

00:07:10.000 Yes.

00:07:11.000 Yeah.

00:07:11.000 These have to be factored in, too.

00:07:13.000 They totally do.

00:07:14.000 And I really get the feeling.

00:07:15.000 But there's the middle ground between the CNN narrative and this Fox narrative.

00:07:21.000 There's the truth.

00:07:22.000 And I saw it in Portland.

00:07:24.000 I saw it in Connecticut.

00:07:26.000 I saw it in Salt Lake City.

00:07:27.000 What are you seeing?

00:07:28.000 I've performed in all these places.

00:07:30.000 And they are all wearing masks, but their businesses are open.

00:07:33.000 Yes.

00:07:34.000 Well, that's what we should have had in LA a long time ago.

00:07:37.000 Yes, they're testing.

00:07:38.000 They've got the masks on.

00:07:39.000 They're distancing.

00:07:41.000 Like, I ate in restaurants, but, you know, it's limited capacity.

00:07:44.000 I performed in comedy clubs, half capacity.

00:07:47.000 But here's the thing, man.

00:07:47.000 Not just because of my comedic draw.

00:07:49.000 I don't think that that's scientific.

00:07:52.000 Yeah.

00:07:53.000 Because there's aerosol.

00:07:54.000 The virus is carried through the air now.

00:07:57.000 This has pretty much been confirmed.

00:07:59.000 They used to think it carried through droplets, which is the reason for the whole six-foot social distancing space.

00:08:05.000 They don't think that's the case anymore.

00:08:07.000 They think it's airborne.

00:08:09.000 So if that's the case, all that social distancing stuff is horseshit because it's in the air.

00:08:15.000 But not if you're social distanced and have a mask on.

00:08:18.000 I'm telling you, the social distancing thing doesn't mean anything anymore.

00:08:21.000 Gotcha.

00:08:22.000 So you can be close with a mask, but you're still in a mask.

00:08:26.000 A lot of these masks have holes in them.

00:08:28.000 Well, yeah, but...

00:08:29.000 A lot of these masks, like you see these paper masks that people have with the wire?

00:08:32.000 There's an opening in the top, there's openings in the side.

00:08:35.000 There's a lot of sketchy masks.

00:08:36.000 I'm not saying it's not a good idea to wear a mask and maybe it reduces some of the droplets that go out.

00:08:40.000 100%.

00:08:40.000 Maybe.

00:08:41.000 I'm not a scientist, neither are you.

00:08:43.000 But what I am saying is, I don't know how much, I think what you're getting is, you're getting a lot of people that are healthy, and they're going out, and they don't have it, and they're not giving it to anybody because they don't have it, and you're getting away with it.

00:08:54.000 And everybody's wearing masks, and it's good to be cautious. 0.98

00:08:57.000 But I don't necessarily know if you were in a room filled with people who had COVID, and you, unless you had an N95 mask, unless you have a real mask, I don't know if those fucking cloth masks are going to help you. 0.98

00:09:07.000 I think they work. 0.97

00:09:08.000 I mean, because look, you look at these places.

00:09:10.000 What are you basing that on?

00:09:12.000 I'm basing it on cities where they have the mask as a thing, and they made it mandatory that you wear these masks, and the numbers go down.

00:09:20.000 Everyone does.

00:09:21.000 Everyone does what?

00:09:22.000 Everywhere you have to wear a mask.

00:09:23.000 The whole country.

00:09:24.000 Well, now, but it wasn't.

00:09:25.000 I mean, this was fits and starts, and people screwing around. 0.99

00:09:29.000 There's all sorts of weird shit. 0.99

00:09:30.000 The protests were a big kick in the virus. 1.00

00:09:34.000 That was a giant uptick.

00:09:35.000 Right, of course, and there was a lot of people out there with no masks.

00:09:38.000 Not just that, they're just bumper to bumper with each other.

00:09:40.000 They were right next to each other and screaming.

00:09:42.000 Right, exactly.

00:09:43.000 And it's in the air.

00:09:44.000 Exactly.

00:09:45.000 Especially at nighttime.

00:09:46.000 They think the sun kills it, like, almost instantly.

00:09:48.000 Ooh, that's nice.

00:09:49.000 Yeah, there's been studies on UV light, and UV light kills it almost instantly.

00:09:53.000 Right.

00:09:53.000 So sunlight and even simulated sunlight can kill it.

00:09:56.000 All, look.

00:10:00.000 You're playing the odds, right?

00:10:01.000 You want to do all the things that you can to...

00:10:03.000 I want the steroids that Trump's on.

00:10:05.000 That's what I want.

00:10:05.000 I want them too.

00:10:06.000 I want the vaccine. 1.00

00:10:08.000 The same shit that The Rock had when he was doing Jumanji. 1.00

00:10:10.000 That's what they gave him. 1.00

00:10:11.000 They gave him all the good stuff.

00:10:13.000 Yeah, the really good stuff. 1.00

00:10:14.000 And shots in the ass. 1.00

00:10:15.000 Did you see his tweets? 1.00

00:10:16.000 Remember when you were a kid and you got a shot in your butt cheek? 0.96

00:10:19.000 I do. 0.61

00:10:19.000 Those things worked. 0.61

00:10:20.000 That's what we need to bring back. 0.97

00:10:22.000 Ass cheek shots. 1.00

00:10:22.000 What shots did they give you in your butt? 1.00

00:10:25.000 I don't... 0.99

00:10:26.000 I don't know, but they worked.

00:10:27.000 And you didn't want to go back to the doctor and have some man take your pants off and make you cry in front of your mom, so you stayed healthy.

00:10:34.000 I never cried on my kid. 0.99

00:10:35.000 How funny would it be if you're sticking your ass out of your car window to get your vaccine? 1.00

00:10:40.000 That would be hilarious. 0.99

00:10:41.000 If everybody's just like parked with their butt right up to their driver's side window.

00:10:47.000 So look.

00:10:49.000 All of this is kind of like, it's going to run its course, but you can do things to comment down.

00:10:54.000 Conley also revealed Trump has been treated with dexamethasone, an immunosuppressant steroid that can cause euphoric mood changes.

00:11:04.000 Well, there's his tweets.

00:11:06.000 That's him doing wheelies in the parking lot.

00:11:09.000 Since then, people have posted online about their own experience with the drug.

00:11:13.000 Interesting.

00:11:14.000 An aminosuppressant...

00:11:15.000 That's what's interesting, too.

00:11:17.000 They say that one of the things that happens with this disease is you actually don't want the immune system to react too violently to the disease.

00:11:28.000 Yeah, I read about that.

00:11:29.000 Or too aggressively to the disease. 1.00

00:11:30.000 I don't understand the logic behind that, because I'm stupid. 0.99

00:11:35.000 I tried to read that article. 0.98

00:11:37.000 It was...

00:11:38.000 Complicated.

00:11:39.000 It made me think how amazing the human body is.

00:11:42.000 There's stages of the immune system.

00:11:44.000 It originally comes out and gives you a dose of stuff and surrounds the virus.

00:11:49.000 And then it goes up, and then it ramps up, and then it reboots, and then it sends another part.

00:11:54.000 It was like four stages of what your immune system does, and because it has to be ramped up to attack this virus, it could actually hurt you more than the virus.

00:12:01.000 Well, here it says, what does dexamethasone do?

00:12:06.000 Dexamethasone is a corticosteroid hormone that decreases the body's natural immune response and reduces swelling and allergic reaction symptoms.

00:12:17.000 This medication treats a number of conditions, including asthma, IBS, Crohn's disease, and a I've heard that.

00:12:52.000 I.e.

00:12:53.000 hospitalized COVID-19 patients, scientists have said it may prevent one in three deaths among patients on ventilators.

00:12:59.000 Interesting.

00:13:01.000 Yeah, so they gave him...

00:13:02.000 They threw the kitchen sink at it immediately. 0.99

00:13:04.000 Yeah, and it worked.

00:13:05.000 Yeah, you're the President of the United States.

00:13:06.000 You should get everything they possibly have. 0.95

00:13:08.000 All I'm getting at this by fucking with you here is that in these times where things are very unsure, a lot of times people like to say exactly what you need to do and what's happening. 0.96

00:13:19.000 As long as people do this, we're okay. 0.98

00:13:21.000 As long as we wear a mask, we're okay.

00:13:23.000 And I'm not sure.

00:13:25.000 I'm not sure that's the case.

00:13:27.000 I think we're all gonna get it.

00:13:29.000 That's what I think.

00:13:31.000 Well, that is the reality of what I'm saying, that doctor saying that it goes 18 months.

00:13:37.000 But I don't know if 18 months means everybody gets it.

00:13:40.000 You're going to come in contact with it.

00:13:41.000 Right.

00:13:42.000 And some people's immune system just beats it.

00:13:44.000 That's what I kind of...

00:13:47.000 After looking at it globally last night, and what that doctor said of this timeline, which is total hearsay, but it seems to make sense, it made me think all of this is noise and us all freaking out.

00:14:01.000 What about my job?

00:14:02.000 What about the mask?

00:14:03.000 What about this?

00:14:04.000 What do we do?

00:14:04.000 Is it real?

00:14:05.000 Is it not?

00:14:06.000 And we're all freaking out, and it's going to run its course either way.

00:14:10.000 Despite how crazy we get, this virus is going to run its course, and in a year and a half, it's going to kind of Exactly.

00:14:18.000 Listen to what you're saying.

00:14:19.000 You're talking as if you know what's going to happen.

00:14:21.000 I'm guessing.

00:14:22.000 But see what people do?

00:14:24.000 You just sort of lay it out.

00:14:25.000 People do this at cocktail parties.

00:14:27.000 You say, yeah, well, we got to do it.

00:14:29.000 This is how it's going to go.

00:14:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:30.000 And you feel comforted by that.

00:14:32.000 Of course.

00:14:33.000 Comforted by that.

00:14:33.000 And then you go home and you try to relax.

00:14:36.000 If you say to a room full of people, I feel like I'm getting something.

00:14:40.000 Everybody there knows what to do.

00:14:42.000 They run away from you.

00:14:42.000 You've got to take zinc.

00:14:43.000 You've got to take this.

00:14:44.000 You've got chicken soup.

00:14:46.000 You've got to get ginger.

00:14:47.000 There's this ginger drink.

00:14:48.000 Everybody has the idea.

00:14:50.000 And that's what I'm trying to say.

00:14:52.000 We're all trying to control the universe, but this thing's going to run its course.

00:14:56.000 It's going to happen.

00:14:57.000 We don't really have that much control over it.

00:15:00.000 Well, it's insanely contagious.

00:15:01.000 Santino caught it giving a guy a ride home.

00:15:04.000 Ten-minute ride home with the windows open, and he caught it.

00:15:07.000 No mask.

00:15:08.000 No, they weren't wearing masks.

00:15:10.000 Yeah, the guy didn't know he had it.

00:15:11.000 No symptoms, no coughing, no nothing.

00:15:14.000 Gives him a ride home for 10 minutes.

00:15:17.000 How did he know that that was the guy?

00:15:18.000 Because the guy called him afterwards, a couple days later, and says, I got it. 0.99

00:15:22.000 And then Santino's like, fuck. 0.98

00:15:24.000 And then a couple days after that, Santino has it. 1.00

00:15:27.000 I like Fauci.

00:15:29.000 He looks like a little guy from the Bronx, and he kind of makes me feel comfortable.

00:15:34.000 And he's in the administration, part of the Trump team, and he's saying, please, just wear the mask.

00:15:43.000 Yes.

00:15:43.000 But, you know, initially he didn't say that.

00:15:46.000 And the reason why he didn't say that is because he wanted to make sure there's masks for first responders.

00:15:50.000 Right.

00:15:50.000 The problem with that means, that means he lied.

00:15:52.000 That means he said something that he knew wasn't true.

00:15:55.000 I'm not perfect.

00:15:56.000 Everybody lies.

00:15:57.000 He said something he knew wasn't true because he wanted people to react in a certain way, but then he still expects them to trust him after that.

00:16:06.000 I'm not saying you shouldn't trust him.

00:16:07.000 I hear you.

00:16:08.000 I'm not saying it's wise or unwise, but I'm saying...

00:16:11.000 In that circumstance, I wouldn't have recommended he do that.

00:16:15.000 Of course not.

00:16:16.000 I mean, the idea was that we were panicked, and he thought, like, look, if I tell people everybody get a mask, then there's going to be this nationwide shortage of masks.

00:16:24.000 100%.

00:16:24.000 I read this article of countries that have done better than other countries, South Korea, New Zealand.

00:16:32.000 They have advantages about isolation and all that kind of stuff, and fewer people.

00:16:39.000 But the main thing that they were saying is communication.

00:16:41.000 Tell people the truth, and they'll react accordingly, and it calms the hysteria, and it puts trust in the people that are giving you the advice.

00:16:50.000 So if he had come out and said, masks are important, use a bandana, and leave these for the healthcare workers, these are very important that these people on the front lines get it, that would have been so much better because then we wouldn't have the discussion when he comes out in September.

00:17:03.000 My friend who's a doctor says the bandanas are useless.

00:17:05.000 They look cool, though.

00:17:07.000 Not really.

00:17:08.000 You look better than the plastic ones. 0.99

00:17:10.000 Okay, if you weren't in a pandemic and you're wearing a bandana over your face like that, you look like either a douchebag or a bank robber. 0.96

00:17:17.000 What about when you pull it down around your neck? 0.94

00:17:19.000 You look like you're at Studio 54. You're a Chris Christopherson fan.

00:17:26.000 Or you're a guy who's at the range.

00:17:28.000 A lot of guys at the gun range, they'll put bandanas around their neck because shells come flying, hot shells, and they can land in your collar and burn your neck.

00:17:35.000 I like it.

00:17:36.000 I used to wear it when I was on my motorcycle.

00:17:38.000 I would wear a bandana up for that same reason, for the road stuff.

00:17:41.000 That makes sense.

00:17:42.000 And then you walk into the bar afterwards and you pull it down.

00:17:44.000 You look like a badass.

00:17:45.000 You look like a badass.

00:17:46.000 Yeah.

00:17:46.000 You take that little disposable paper thing and put it down on your neck, no one's looking at you.

00:17:52.000 My friend Jeff, who's a doctor, he said, that's the worst thing you can wear is those bandanas.

00:17:56.000 It is.

00:17:57.000 Yeah, he said cloth masks are better, they're thicker, they'll protect you more.

00:18:00.000 He goes, but you really want an N95 mask. 0.69

00:18:02.000 Yeah, that's the real deal.

00:18:04.000 In my travels, I've been on four or five round-trip flights, and I've been wearing the disposable ones.

00:18:15.000 Yeah, the paper ones are okay.

00:18:17.000 They're easiest to breathe in, which makes me suspicious.

00:18:19.000 I know.

00:18:20.000 I was thinking the same thing.

00:18:22.000 Well, that's what I was saying. 0.99

00:18:23.000 I think if it's airborne, I don't know if that shit is blocking that much. 0.99

00:18:28.000 I don't. 0.99

00:18:29.000 I know.

00:18:30.000 I'm like, I'm wearing the bandana.

00:18:31.000 I'm suffocating.

00:18:32.000 So then I put on the disposable one.

00:18:35.000 I'm like, oh, this is good.

00:18:36.000 I can go all the way to New York like this.

00:18:38.000 What do you think's larger?

00:18:39.000 The virus in the air and aerosol or fart particles?

00:18:43.000 Because I guarantee you...

00:18:45.000 That made me suspicious too.

00:18:47.000 Someone has a hard fart.

00:18:48.000 I got on the tram in Denver at like 8 in the morning and someone let a meaty one out.

00:18:56.000 I mean, one of those lasagna farts.

00:18:59.000 And the whole place, we're all in masks, and everyone was horrified.

00:19:03.000 I'm like, how strong are these?

00:19:04.000 Did anyone say anything?

00:19:05.000 No, they didn't have to.

00:19:07.000 You saw facial expressions.

00:19:08.000 People should have said something.

00:19:09.000 There was a couple.

00:19:10.000 I made eye contact with the lady next time. 1.00

00:19:12.000 We both gave an eye roll just to tell each other it wasn't us.

00:19:16.000 But somebody let it through, and I'm like, if this fart's getting through... 0.87

00:19:19.000 Joey Diaz farted on a plane.

00:19:21.000 It was so bad, I wrote a story about it.

00:19:23.000 I did. 1.00

00:19:24.000 I wrote a fucking... 1.00

00:19:25.000 It's called Happy Pills. 0.99

00:19:27.000 It's probably still out there on the internet somewhere.

00:19:29.000 It was on my blog.

00:19:30.000 But he cut a fart that was so bad. 0.95

00:19:33.000 And I was in the middle of thinking about...

00:19:35.000 I was thinking about life and people getting older.

00:19:38.000 And I was listening to Jimi Hendrix, and I was high.

00:19:41.000 And he cut this fart, and this lady behind us goes... 1.00

00:19:45.000 Oh my god!

00:19:49.000 And he starts laughing!

00:19:51.000 He starts laughing!

00:19:53.000 And I put my shirt over my face and I'm like, oh my god!

00:19:57.000 It was so bad!

00:19:59.000 It was so bad!

00:20:00.000 Oh, it's the worst.

00:20:02.000 Summer's so powerful.

00:20:03.000 Look at that.

00:20:03.000 If a fart can make it through pants, how can a mask protect you from a virus?

00:20:08.000 Exactly!

00:20:09.000 That's what I'm saying!

00:20:10.000 Who wrote this article?

00:20:11.000 This is back in May, like a Yahoo News thing.

00:20:14.000 The fart particles are way smaller, apparently.

00:20:17.000 Kristen May.

00:20:18.000 Oh, Dr. McQueef.

00:20:19.000 A thousand times smaller.

00:20:20.000 Dr. McQueef.

00:20:21.000 Fart particles are smaller than the virus?

00:20:23.000 Yeah, that's why.

00:20:24.000 Hmm.

00:20:25.000 Wow.

00:20:26.000 Tiny, stinky fart molecules. 0.85

00:20:30.000 C4-3SH is a rather small molecule with a diameter around... 0.95

00:20:36.000 Oh my god, they've measured farts.

00:20:39.000 Yeah, this is science.

00:20:40.000 By comparison, viruses typically range in diameter for...

00:20:43.000 Okay, much larger.

00:20:45.000 COVID-19 being about 60 to 140 nm.

00:20:50.000 I don't know what that means.

00:20:51.000 Nanometers or molars?

00:20:52.000 I'm not sure.

00:20:53.000 Okay, so farts are smaller.

00:20:56.000 Yep.

00:20:56.000 The virus is 100 to 1,000 times bigger than a fart molecule.

00:21:01.000 What about if a virus goes through farts?

00:21:05.000 Oh, wait a minute.

00:21:05.000 Hold on.

00:21:05.000 Go back to that.

00:21:06.000 They explain how N95 masks work.

00:21:09.000 Look at that.

00:21:09.000 N95 masks is capable of filtering 95% of test aerosol containing the average particle size of 300 nm.

00:21:17.000 Basically, N95 masks have a tight weave pattern with multiple layers that serve as a barrier to larger structures like viruses or simply spittle.

00:21:27.000 Yeah, that works.

00:21:28.000 That stuff works.

00:21:29.000 There's a reason doctors wear that stuff for all sorts of things, right?

00:21:33.000 Keith Robinson once, my good pal and comedian, we were at Del Frisco's across from Radio City Music Hall.

00:21:41.000 It's a steakhouse.

00:21:41.000 Del Frisco's?

00:21:42.000 Yeah, it's a great place.

00:21:42.000 Great place.

00:21:43.000 Huge.

00:21:45.000 It's two floors, but there's no ceiling over the first floor dining section, so it's just like, I don't know, 50 feet high in the air.

00:21:52.000 We had this big dinner, steak dinner.

00:21:54.000 I mean, it's a massive place with huge ventilation.

00:21:56.000 Like, you could do a show there now in the middle of a pandemic and everyone would be safe.

00:22:01.000 And he farted on our way out of there.

00:22:04.000 He crop-dusted the whole place.

00:22:08.000 Other tables were putting napkins over their faces, dropping silverware.

00:22:13.000 It was that bad?

00:22:14.000 It was that bad.

00:22:16.000 Just toxic.

00:22:18.000 What was he eating?

00:22:19.000 I don't know.

00:22:20.000 It's usually a mixture of things.

00:22:22.000 He's decaying.

00:22:22.000 What's that?

00:22:23.000 It's a mixture of things.

00:22:24.000 It's usually like when you mix broccoli and meat.

00:22:27.000 Or some beans.

00:22:28.000 Some beans.

00:22:30.000 Following that up.

00:22:31.000 No, it's disgusting.

00:22:33.000 No, but I was...

00:22:35.000 But, by the way, I leave...

00:22:40.000 The reason I started even looking at the perception of it all and trying to look at it in a global way is because it is confusing.

00:22:47.000 This whole thing is very confusing.

00:22:49.000 And that we're in the middle of an election makes it so confusing because everyone's using whatever little information they have to their advantage.

00:22:56.000 But there's also the confusion of, I'm in LA, I go to LAX. Joe, I could have gotten there five minutes before my flight.

00:23:05.000 I'm the only guy going through security.

00:23:08.000 I walk right up to the gate and get on the plane.

00:23:11.000 Like, no wait at...

00:23:12.000 No traffic going down.

00:23:14.000 No wait at all.

00:23:15.000 That's unheard of.

00:23:17.000 And I land in Denver.

00:23:19.000 It's like it's 2018. Packed.

00:23:22.000 You know that big...

00:23:23.000 Yeah, that's real America, Tom.

00:23:25.000 That's what I was telling you.

00:23:26.000 I know. 1.00

00:23:26.000 You're living in this bullshit, liberal, communist, Marxist... 1.00

00:23:32.000 It's a phony state. 1.00

00:23:33.000 It's a nation state.

00:23:34.000 And it's controlled by a dictator named Gavin Newsom.

00:23:37.000 And he wants you to be poor.

00:23:40.000 Why would he want me to be poor?

00:23:41.000 Because he wants more hair.

00:23:42.000 He wants to use your money to grow his hair thicker.

00:23:45.000 You ever see his sexy shot?

00:23:46.000 Get a sexy shot?

00:23:48.000 You ever saw the sexy shot? 0.97

00:23:50.000 Who was the woman that he used to date, who's now on the Trump...

00:23:54.000 Oh, that was his wife.

00:23:56.000 Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend is his ex-wife.

00:24:00.000 Yeah, which I had no idea.

00:24:02.000 Did you ever see the sexy shot that they made together?

00:24:04.000 Before he ruined San Francisco, they were together.

00:24:07.000 Yeah, where they're laying on like a bare skin rug. 0.99

00:24:10.000 Oh no.

00:24:11.000 Oh yeah, they call them the new Kennedys, Jamie.

00:24:13.000 You got it?

00:24:14.000 Oh boy.

00:24:15.000 Oh, who let them take that picture? 0.98

00:24:19.000 Why would you do that?

00:24:21.000 It's funny that Jimmy Kimmel used that.

00:24:22.000 Why would you do that?

00:24:23.000 Is that hilarious?

00:24:24.000 Who said yes to that?

00:24:26.000 What serious politician poses on the floor with your knee up?

00:24:31.000 The kind that wants to wreck a whole state.

00:24:33.000 Ha ha ha!

00:24:37.000 We've got to get the lockdown!

00:24:39.000 I have to say, when he was giving the speeches in the beginning of the lockdown, I liked hearing him.

00:24:44.000 Well, he sounds good.

00:24:45.000 He does sound good.

00:24:46.000 He's a handsome man.

00:24:47.000 He looks very distinguished.

00:24:50.000 His voice is good.

00:24:51.000 He's a little raspy.

00:24:52.000 But the draconian laws, these draconian enforcements, the way they're handling it, it's just...

00:24:57.000 What state do you think is handling it the right way?

00:25:01.000 Like, where do you think it...

00:25:03.000 Who's got kind of, like, it down?

00:25:05.000 Florida.

00:25:05.000 You think?

00:25:06.000 They're like, Buckwild, let's go. 1.00

00:25:08.000 Florida doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:25:10.000 Disney World. 1.00

00:25:11.000 You're open.

00:25:11.000 Jimmy Buffett concerts.

00:25:13.000 You can do whatever you want.

00:25:14.000 I know.

00:25:14.000 We could do stand-up in an arena in Florida.

00:25:17.000 I'm not kidding.

00:25:18.000 I know.

00:25:18.000 No social distancing.

00:25:20.000 No mask requirements.

00:25:21.000 Now what's happening to their numbers?

00:25:23.000 They did this, what, two weeks ago?

00:25:24.000 They're fine.

00:25:24.000 Everyone's getting stronger and younger.

00:25:26.000 They're going back in time.

00:25:29.000 You never get any older and you never die.

00:25:31.000 They look better than they have ever looked.

00:25:34.000 They're the only ones free in this whole country.

00:25:35.000 They're the most American people in America.

00:25:37.000 Freedom is kind of overrated, don't you think? 1.00

00:25:40.000 Listen to this fucking communist. 1.00

00:25:41.000 They got you beaten down. 1.00

00:25:43.000 I understand.

00:25:43.000 You have a mortgage.

00:25:44.000 You gotta stay in California.

00:25:45.000 You're trying to swallow the Kool-Aid. 0.99

00:25:47.000 You're taking it down in sperm-like chunks.

00:25:51.000 You're just trying to swallow it in the chunky sauce of Gavin Newsom. 1.00

00:25:57.000 You're sucking it down your pipe right now. 0.56

00:26:00.000 But there's no difference. 0.99

00:26:02.000 What's the difference?

00:26:03.000 Restaurants?

00:26:03.000 You can't go to comedy clubs.

00:26:04.000 You can't go to restaurants.

00:26:05.000 You can't go to movie theaters.

00:26:06.000 You can only go to comedy clubs in certain places.

00:26:08.000 You can't go to retail stores.

00:26:09.000 You can't go to any retail store in a mall that doesn't have an outside entrance.

00:26:13.000 What?

00:26:14.000 Yes.

00:26:14.000 My wife was just at the mall.

00:26:16.000 Yes, you can go to Nordstrom's because they've got an outside entrance.

00:26:19.000 She went to Kiel's, which is inside.

00:26:22.000 Well, unless they've changed it recently, that's how it was before.

00:26:24.000 Oh, it's a whole euphoria now.

00:26:25.000 You've got to come.

00:26:27.000 You've got to move back.

00:26:27.000 It's amazing now.

00:26:28.000 He's a propagandist.

00:26:29.000 I told you, Jamie.

00:26:30.000 I told you we can't have him on.

00:26:32.000 He's done.

00:26:34.000 He's got a fever.

00:26:36.000 I just got tested.

00:26:37.000 You are negative, but I want to test your forehead.

00:26:39.000 I want to see if you've got something else.

00:26:41.000 I want to see if you have a fever.

00:26:42.000 What is the difference between LA and...

00:26:47.000 And I'm asking this honestly because I was kind of trying to figure it out because I do feel... 0.96

00:26:51.000 Honestly, all fucking around. 0.93

00:26:53.000 People are less scared here. 0.99

00:26:54.000 Yes.

00:26:55.000 First of all, they're way friendlier here.

00:26:57.000 Yeah.

00:26:58.000 It just seems more relaxed.

00:27:00.000 You can work.

00:27:01.000 You can go to work.

00:27:02.000 You wear a mask and you go to work.

00:27:04.000 Right.

00:27:05.000 I mean, I'm sure there are some cases, but deaths are way down everywhere in the country.

00:27:10.000 You know that?

00:27:10.000 I mean, they used to be climbing and climbing and climbing.

00:27:13.000 Now it's like it was 208,000 people.

00:27:17.000 Now it's 209,000 people.

00:27:19.000 When you're dealing with 320 million plus people...

00:27:23.000 It's a relatively small number of people dying from it.

00:27:25.000 So they have the remedies better.

00:27:27.000 They have the...

00:27:27.000 Treatment.

00:27:28.000 The different treatments better.

00:27:29.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.95

00:27:30.000 You know, it still sucks. 0.78

00:27:31.000 I don't want to get it. 0.88

00:27:32.000 But everybody that I know that's got it has kicked it pretty easy except Michael Yeo.

00:27:35.000 And Michael Yeo was in a bad state when he got it.

00:27:38.000 He was really run down.

00:27:40.000 Right.

00:27:40.000 But broken down.

00:27:41.000 Yeah.

00:27:41.000 He'd been traveling a lot.

00:27:43.000 And he has low vitamin D. Admittedly, he wasn't taking vitamin D, which is apparently a big factor in your immune system.

00:27:48.000 I do feel like that's probably, like the places that I've been, they're not ignoring it.

00:27:56.000 It's not Florida.

00:27:57.000 You can't ignore it.

00:27:57.000 They're not ignoring it.

00:27:58.000 Florida, I don't even think Florida's really ignoring it. 0.93

00:28:01.000 The governor, all bullshit aside, the governor put a chart up and he was saying the issue that we really need to concern ourselves with is people 70 plus. 0.97

00:28:08.000 Like 70 plus are the ones who have a significant risk of dying. 0.98

00:28:12.000 And he's saying everybody else, what we really need to consider is the people that have underlying conditions.

00:28:16.000 And we need to, you know, those people...

00:28:19.000 I mean, this is what should have been done all along.

00:28:20.000 The people that are at high risk should have been sheltered.

00:28:23.000 Right.

00:28:23.000 But shutting everything down is an economic disaster.

00:28:26.000 Right.

00:28:27.000 That's where we're at.

00:28:27.000 Right.

00:28:28.000 And like, they shut the comedy store down when they were trying to do shows outside in the parking lot.

00:28:32.000 I know. 0.99

00:28:33.000 With a fucking snot shield in front of everybody. 1.00

00:28:36.000 I know. 1.00

00:28:37.000 They had a big glass shield in front of the audience.

00:28:39.000 Yeah.

00:28:40.000 And they still said no.

00:28:41.000 Outside! 0.96

00:28:41.000 No, it's ridiculous. 0.96

00:28:42.000 You can open up a restaurant outside, but you can't do stand-up in the parking lot of the store? 0.84

00:28:47.000 I don't get that at all, because there's literally no difference.

00:28:55.000 I've performed in a lot of places.

00:28:56.000 I was in a casino in Connecticut.

00:28:59.000 Everyone's wearing masks.

00:29:00.000 Everyone's doing the right thing.

00:29:01.000 I'd rather catch COVID than do a casino in Connecticut.

00:29:04.000 I'm not proud of it, but...

00:29:08.000 How dare he!

00:29:10.000 I'm not proud of it.

00:29:12.000 Which casino?

00:29:13.000 I had to go see my family.

00:29:16.000 Mahegan's son.

00:29:18.000 Doing the shows was so great.

00:29:20.000 Oh, the Comedy Store documentary.

00:29:23.000 I got to see it for my radio show.

00:29:25.000 I got to see it all the way through.

00:29:26.000 They sent it to me in advance.

00:29:28.000 It's really good.

00:29:29.000 It's heavy.

00:29:30.000 It's really great.

00:29:32.000 There's a real depth to it.

00:29:34.000 Your part is amazing.

00:29:37.000 And it's just amazing.

00:29:39.000 Like, what you did for that club was, yeah, everybody kind of knows, like, how you had such an impact on it.

00:29:46.000 But actually seeing it, you know, we're with you all the time, and you see the...

00:29:50.000 But seeing, like, in a documentary style, starting with the Mencia of it and getting to now, man, it made me want to kiss you right on the lips.

00:30:01.000 Yeah.

00:30:02.000 He's threatening me now.

00:30:04.000 Jesus, Jamie.

00:30:05.000 Really, Joe.

00:30:06.000 He's come here.

00:30:07.000 It really is such a great thing.

00:30:08.000 Because to have such a historic place that was so bright and great and then really decimated and fell on its ass, and you're really the force that brought it back to this, was like, oh, it was just great.

00:30:21.000 It was so great.

00:30:23.000 And watching your story was really, really cool.

00:30:25.000 Oh, thanks man.

00:30:26.000 It was heavy.

00:30:27.000 It was weird to make.

00:30:27.000 I cried a bunch of times thinking about Mitzi.

00:30:30.000 Yeah.

00:30:31.000 Yeah, man.

00:30:32.000 Thinking about the old days.

00:30:33.000 But what it was like to come there.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:35.000 Just to be a paid regular there.

00:30:38.000 It's such a polarizing place.

00:30:40.000 So many people have a negative impression of it.

00:30:43.000 Because it's such a difficult club.

00:30:45.000 And there's so many killers there.

00:30:46.000 And a lot of people just didn't feel like they got the respect that they deserved there.

00:30:50.000 But it's not the case.

00:30:53.000 You needed a higher level.

00:30:54.000 It's hard.

00:30:56.000 You're going up, you're on a lineup with 15 murderers and everyone's killing in front of you.

00:31:01.000 And there's a lot of people that would go there and they would have like sort of mediocre sets and they would be upset because they had a career.

00:31:09.000 Like they'd be on television shows.

00:31:10.000 Sure.

00:31:10.000 They'd be doing things.

00:31:11.000 Yeah.

00:31:11.000 And the comedy store would be like, you know, we don't have any spots for you.

00:31:14.000 They'd be like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:31:15.000 And they would harbor this terrible resentment and they would talk about it. 1.00

00:31:19.000 Like years later, they would say, you know, I had to prove myself at that place.

00:31:22.000 Like, hey man, Everybody had to prove their self at that place.

00:31:25.000 Everybody. 0.99

00:31:26.000 They don't give a fuck if you're on a TV show. 1.00

00:31:28.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:31:29.000 No one cares. 0.99

00:31:30.000 No.

00:31:30.000 And it's not an easy place.

00:31:33.000 Just take the booking out of it.

00:31:35.000 Yeah.

00:31:36.000 Getting up and performing in any of those rooms...

00:31:39.000 You've got to be good.

00:31:40.000 You've got to bring it.

00:31:41.000 And you not only have to be good, you have to learn that room, all those rooms.

00:31:44.000 You've got to bring it.

00:31:45.000 It's tough.

00:31:45.000 Yeah, it's a tough place.

00:31:46.000 But the exciting thing is the people that do come through, and then the people that are coming up, like Laura Beetz, like Annie Letterman, like all these young kids that are coming up, Allie Makovsky.

00:31:55.000 And then you have these people that are there and established and looking to break through, like Tony Hinchcliffe, guys who are killers.

00:32:03.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 And there's so many of them.

00:32:05.000 And it makes you.

00:32:05.000 If you can stick it out, it really does make you.

00:32:08.000 But for some people, they liked the UCB. They liked these places where they could go.

00:32:13.000 Comforting.

00:32:14.000 Everything was relaxed.

00:32:15.000 Everybody's supporting.

00:32:16.000 Everyone loves you.

00:32:18.000 It was a lower level of comedy, and the audience was a little bit more enthusiastic about laughing.

00:32:24.000 Yeah.

00:32:24.000 No one's gonna bomb.

00:32:26.000 There's a darkness to the store that's undeniable, and I think it comes from it being Ciro's nightclub, because it was Bugsy Siegel's nightclub, and people were legitimately murdered there.

00:32:38.000 I know.

00:32:38.000 That is 100% fact.

00:32:41.000 People were murdered at the comedy store.

00:32:44.000 Yeah.

00:32:44.000 Who owned Ciro's?

00:32:46.000 Bugsy Siegel.

00:32:47.000 Bugsy Siegel owned it?

00:32:49.000 Bugsy Siegel owned Ciro's.

00:32:50.000 Wow.

00:32:51.000 Dude, there was old school pictures.

00:32:52.000 There's old school pictures of Ciro's that are amazing.

00:32:55.000 Where you could see the stage where we perform on, but instead Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin are on that stage.

00:33:01.000 Amazing.

00:33:01.000 Yeah, doing a live show.

00:33:03.000 Now what is that?

00:33:04.000 Because there are places that...

00:33:07.000 The place has a magic to it.

00:33:10.000 Yeah.

00:33:10.000 Right?

00:33:11.000 There are places that just undeniably succeed, and there's other places that never really get it going.

00:33:18.000 And I'm talking about restaurants or a hotel or just, like, there's a magic to certain spots.

00:33:25.000 I think things have memory.

00:33:26.000 Rupert Sheldrake believed this.

00:33:28.000 He believed that he's an intellectual.

00:33:33.000 I forget what his actual discipline is.

00:33:35.000 Is he a biologist?

00:33:36.000 What is Rupert Sheldrake?

00:33:38.000 He's a mathematician?

00:33:38.000 I forget what exactly he does.

00:33:40.000 But he has this concept that everything has memory.

00:33:44.000 Yeah.

00:33:45.000 And he believed in this thing called morphic resonance, that all these things are connected in some sort of indescribable, unmeasurable way.

00:33:53.000 But I'm probably butchering that.

00:33:55.000 But he also believes that things have memory, a type of memory.

00:33:59.000 And this is the reason why people don't want to live in a house where someone was murdered.

00:34:02.000 Right.

00:34:02.000 You can feel it.

00:34:03.000 Yeah.

00:34:04.000 You don't want to buy a car that someone blew their brains out in.

00:34:07.000 Right.

00:34:07.000 You know what I mean?

00:34:08.000 Yeah, I do.

00:34:08.000 Remember that movie, Stephen King movie, Christine?

00:34:10.000 Yeah.

00:34:11.000 Yeah.

00:34:12.000 Awesome.

00:34:12.000 Better book.

00:34:14.000 Book's fucking incredible. 0.99

00:34:15.000 I hate when people say that, but it really is. 0.99

00:34:17.000 I never read the book.

00:34:18.000 The book is way more in-depth.

00:34:20.000 It's a slower process of the kid who owns the car going crazy.

00:34:23.000 Oh, nice.

00:34:25.000 Someone died in the car.

00:34:27.000 The guy who owned it haunted the car.

00:34:30.000 So great.

00:34:31.000 I think that was the story, that someone died in the car.

00:34:33.000 So great.

00:34:34.000 No, things definitely...

00:34:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:37.000 You wouldn't even want to buy an asshole's car. 1.00

00:34:41.000 If you had some person who's really mean, who's a real shitty person, you wouldn't buy their car, drive around their car. 1.00

00:34:47.000 No, when you go to buy a car or buy a house, you walk in and you know if it fits you. 0.80

00:34:56.000 That's a thing.

00:34:57.000 It's a vibe.

00:34:59.000 You get it.

00:35:00.000 There's something there.

00:35:02.000 There's something beyond what you're seeing.

00:35:03.000 Yeah, like if you buy a house and you meet the owner and you get along great with them and you're real friendly, that's a nice feeling.

00:35:09.000 Yeah.

00:35:09.000 You're like, oh, we bought Mike's house.

00:35:11.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:35:13.000 There's a little story to it.

00:35:14.000 And that's the thing with the store.

00:35:16.000 There is really a long story of show business in that spot.

00:35:21.000 And it is...

00:35:23.000 It's got many edges to it, which is just like comedy.

00:35:27.000 The thing that I loved about the store is not just that it's this historic place where all these great comics started out, like Kinison and Richard Pryor, and all these people made their mark there, but it's Right.

00:35:53.000 You work.

00:35:55.000 It's a gem.

00:35:57.000 It's got edge to it.

00:35:59.000 People went up on stage there too drunk.

00:36:03.000 They went up coked up.

00:36:04.000 They failed.

00:36:06.000 They got in fights with audience members.

00:36:10.000 It's got so much humanity to it.

00:36:15.000 The coolest part, I think...

00:36:19.000 Of the old crew was watching the Jim Carrey stuff. 0.98

00:36:24.000 How, you know, he was kicking ass and pretty successful and killing in the room and then changes his act and sucks for a long time. 0.71

00:36:34.000 He's leaving the impressions and going into other stuff. 1.00

00:36:38.000 I mean, the balls of that.

00:36:40.000 And you just see him in the hallway, there's pictures of him just sweating. 0.91

00:36:44.000 He's just drenched out because he doesn't know what he's doing.

00:36:46.000 But that they supported him and let him do that in that room like that.

00:36:51.000 Because, you know, when you're there, people are throwing fastballs.

00:36:54.000 Everyone's great and everyone's killing. 1.00

00:36:56.000 And then you've got to be humble to get up there and really stick to your guns and try your new shit and suck. 0.99

00:37:02.000 And when you saw the old guys that aren't really around anymore, was it Tim Thomerson? 0.99

00:37:07.000 Is that one of them?

00:37:07.000 Yeah.

00:37:08.000 You saw these guys that...

00:37:10.000 What they said was like a killer.

00:37:11.000 It seemed like a killer.

00:37:12.000 Yeah.

00:37:12.000 But you realize, like, oh, these guys come in waves.

00:37:14.000 I know.

00:37:15.000 You know?

00:37:15.000 I know.

00:37:16.000 I mean, there's these guys that if you don't know any better, like, you might not know who Rick Ingram is.

00:37:20.000 Right. 1.00

00:37:21.000 But you might not have to follow that motherfucker. 1.00

00:37:23.000 Right. 1.00

00:37:23.000 And he's throwing some 94 miles an hour right down the pipe. 1.00

00:37:26.000 Right.

00:37:26.000 Woo!

00:37:27.000 You're there with your new notes. 1.00

00:37:29.000 Good luck, bitch. 1.00

00:37:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:31.000 Or, you know, you might go on after Sarah Silverman murders, or you might go on after Eliza Schlesinger gets a fucking standing ovation. 0.99

00:37:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:38.000 That place is crazy, man.

00:37:40.000 I know.

00:37:40.000 And it was filled with good feelings and bad feelings, and there was a lot of emotions, and there was a lot of arguments, and there was a lot of tension.

00:37:47.000 Yeah.

00:37:51.000 Was the most camaraderie, the most warmth and supportive that I've ever felt it there.

00:37:58.000 Oh, 100%.

00:37:58.000 I attribute that to the internet and I attribute that to the podcast because I felt like it was a time of bounty.

00:38:05.000 It wasn't a time of famine.

00:38:08.000 And in the past, everyone had this famine mentality.

00:38:12.000 If you got a sitcom and I was trying out for the same part, I felt like you took something from me. 0.96

00:38:17.000 Like, fuck, there's only one part in the sitcom and Tom got it. 0.89

00:38:20.000 Or if you were trying out for a game show or you're trying out for a talk show and there's five of us are out for it and one of us gets it. 0.99

00:38:27.000 So there's this weird, creepy competitiveness.

00:38:29.000 Right.

00:38:30.000 And if you were on a morning radio show, and then there was a guy who was across town that was on the radio at the same time, you weren't his buddy.

00:38:37.000 Right.

00:38:37.000 We're friends, and we also have podcasts.

00:38:40.000 And I tell people, listen to Tom Papa's podcast.

00:38:43.000 Listen to Tom Papa's radio show.

00:38:45.000 Listen to Fortune Femston and Tom Papa on Sirius.

00:38:49.000 They're both great.

00:38:50.000 There's a camaraderie.

00:38:50.000 There's a different thing now.

00:38:52.000 It's very true.

00:38:53.000 We support each other.

00:38:54.000 I don't think of you and Fortune as being competitors.

00:38:56.000 I think you've been my friends.

00:38:57.000 Oh, you should.

00:38:58.000 What Fortune says about you.

00:39:00.000 Oh no!

00:39:01.000 Oh no!

00:39:03.000 Fortune, I love you!

00:39:04.000 Fortune, I love you!

00:39:06.000 Why?

00:39:07.000 Why?

00:39:08.000 But there's none of that in this community.

00:39:10.000 Everybody does everybody's podcast.

00:39:12.000 That's a great insight.

00:39:14.000 It's never happened before.

00:39:15.000 No.

00:39:15.000 Never been like that before.

00:39:16.000 No.

00:39:17.000 Yeah, I mean, even when we started.

00:39:19.000 Guys helped each other before a little bit, but only if it didn't hurt them.

00:39:24.000 Right.

00:39:24.000 Now you don't have to worry about it hurting you.

00:39:26.000 It only helps you.

00:39:27.000 Like, if I help you, it only helps me because people know you're funny and they go, oh, I can listen to Joe because every time he tells you about a comic, I know they're funny.

00:39:35.000 Right.

00:39:35.000 Because he's telling the truth.

00:39:36.000 That's right.

00:39:37.000 Which is why I won't have And I've had people ask, and I'm like, I can't do it.

00:39:43.000 I can't do it.

00:39:44.000 Sometimes people get real edgy when they don't get a response.

00:39:47.000 I have to hide!

00:39:48.000 I have to filter myself.

00:39:50.000 I have to change my phone number.

00:39:51.000 That's where Jamie comes in.

00:39:53.000 He should insulate.

00:39:54.000 Good luck getting through Jamie. 1.00

00:39:56.000 Jamie's Fort Knox, motherfucker. 1.00

00:39:57.000 You ain't getting through that wall. 1.00

00:39:59.000 I think about Jamie every time something technologically doesn't work.

00:40:03.000 I'm like, Jamie can fix this in a second.

00:40:06.000 He'll figure it out.

00:40:07.000 But as far as getting through to him to get to the show, he is the least approachable.

00:40:12.000 It's impossible.

00:40:14.000 I remember when I got a pilot or something.

00:40:18.000 And early on, and Giraldo, Greg Giraldo was my friend, said, we all went out to dinner with Esty and Manny from the Comedy Cellar, and Greg and his wife, and myself and my wife,

00:40:33.000 and...

00:40:34.000 Greg took me aside and he said, dude, this is how much I love you.

00:40:40.000 I am genuinely happy for you.

00:40:42.000 I know people say, like, oh, I'm happy for you.

00:40:44.000 But it was so unusual to truly be happy for other comedians that he had to take me aside and say...

00:40:49.000 No joke.

00:40:51.000 I am so happy for you.

00:40:54.000 And he didn't have his own ego involved.

00:40:56.000 He didn't have any of that.

00:40:57.000 And at that time, you're right.

00:40:58.000 That was an unusual position to be in.

00:41:00.000 It was rare.

00:41:01.000 It was rare.

00:41:01.000 There's only a few friends that I had that we were real tight like that all throughout comedy.

00:41:07.000 Like Joey Diaz, for sure.

00:41:08.000 I was rooting for him.

00:41:09.000 Always Duncan Trussell.

00:41:11.000 There's a lot of those guys that I was real tight with from the beginning.

00:41:14.000 But Greg was, or Greg Giraldo, not just Fitzsimmons, just such a smart person.

00:41:20.000 Just an interesting person.

00:41:22.000 You know, I was really lucky.

00:41:23.000 I knew Greg from New York, but we also were on the set together because news radio was being filmed right next to his show.

00:41:32.000 Common law.

00:41:34.000 Right.

00:41:35.000 We were on the same set.

00:41:36.000 Oh, wow.

00:41:36.000 So I would hang out with them all the time.

00:41:38.000 We'd go out in the parking lot.

00:41:39.000 I'd run into them.

00:41:39.000 Wow.

00:41:40.000 We knew each other from LA. That's great.

00:41:41.000 Or from New York, you know.

00:41:43.000 That was a fun time.

00:41:44.000 And also the John Larroquette show was there, too.

00:41:46.000 I'm pretty sure...

00:41:47.000 Oh, yeah?

00:41:47.000 Wasn't Lenny Clark on the John Larroquette show?

00:41:51.000 That sounds familiar.

00:41:52.000 I'm pretty sure Lenny Clark was on that show.

00:41:53.000 Yeah.

00:41:54.000 Something...

00:41:55.000 Yeah, it sounds familiar.

00:41:57.000 But that was there, too.

00:41:59.000 Was it Lenny Clark?

00:42:00.000 Was he on that show?

00:42:04.000 Yeah, that's a hard one.

00:42:05.000 Good luck spelling that.

00:42:06.000 Lenny Clark was on that?

00:42:08.000 And TV shows such as Constance, the Rob and John Laracette show.

00:42:11.000 Yes, okay.

00:42:12.000 So Lenny was there too.

00:42:13.000 I'm trying to remember it.

00:42:14.000 But I didn't run into Lenny as much, but I ran into...

00:42:18.000 And also, you know who else was there?

00:42:21.000 Joey Lawrence.

00:42:22.000 Oh, really?

00:42:23.000 Yeah, Joey Lawrence, who used to sit in his car with his fabulous hair.

00:42:27.000 I was always so jealous of his hair, because it was right when my hair was really struggling. 0.96

00:42:31.000 And he would sit in his car, and he was like fucking 12 years old. 0.97

00:42:36.000 There's Lenny Clark! 0.99

00:42:37.000 Oh yeah, look at him. 1.00

00:42:38.000 I love that motherfucker. 1.00

00:42:40.000 God, what a force. 1.00

00:42:41.000 Yeah.

00:42:41.000 And Ron Funches.

00:42:43.000 That's not Ron. 1.00

00:42:44.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

00:42:45.000 He's so much older than Ron. 1.00

00:42:47.000 Shut up. 0.99

00:42:50.000 Be mean to Ron. 1.00

00:42:51.000 Lenny Clark!

00:42:54.000 So they were right next door.

00:42:56.000 And Joey Lawrence, his show was there.

00:42:58.000 And so he would sit in his car.

00:43:00.000 He had like... 0.99

00:43:01.000 You know, he's like fucking 12 years old or something. 1.00

00:43:03.000 And he had some ridiculous... 1.00

00:43:04.000 He's probably 20. But he had some ridiculously expensive car that I could never afford. 0.97

00:43:09.000 And he'd be playing his own music.

00:43:11.000 Yeah.

00:43:12.000 So he had his door open and he'd be like sitting there jamming to his own music really loud.

00:43:16.000 His own music?

00:43:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:18.000 And I'd be like, look at that guy living the life.

00:43:23.000 All I can think of is like, how many girls must be throwing themselves at Joey Lawrence? 0.98

00:43:27.000 Oh my god.

00:43:28.000 He's there playing his own music.

00:43:30.000 There he is.

00:43:30.000 Look at him.

00:43:31.000 Look at his hair.

00:43:32.000 It's beautiful.

00:43:33.000 I've never had hair that good.

00:43:34.000 Ever.

00:43:34.000 I had it for like a week.

00:43:36.000 When I was seven, my hair wasn't that thick.

00:43:41.000 Yeah, there he is.

00:43:45.000 Yeah, that 80s graffiti in the back and the big jackets.

00:43:49.000 He looks like Madonna.

00:43:50.000 He does look like Madonna.

00:43:52.000 He looks like Madonna.

00:43:53.000 Why does he have this shirt tied around his waist?

00:43:55.000 I feel like you could give that to shirts.

00:43:57.000 You're filming.

00:43:58.000 Hand that shirt off to somebody. 1.00

00:43:59.000 Is that like a look?

00:44:01.000 See, Joe, that's why you were never a heartthrob.

00:44:03.000 You don't understand the intricacies.

00:44:05.000 There's a lot of reasons why I was never a heartthrob.

00:44:07.000 I'm not good looking, you know.

00:44:10.000 He's adorable.

00:44:11.000 It's a different look that he's got.

00:44:12.000 Oh, I love picturing him in his car listening to his own music.

00:44:17.000 Yeah.

00:44:17.000 That's what he would do.

00:44:19.000 And we would be like, well, look at that kid.

00:44:21.000 Living a life.

00:44:22.000 Living La Vida Loca.

00:44:24.000 I remember that when Greg was doing that show, he had this guy that was running the show who was just like...

00:44:31.000 We didn't know anybody from LA who wrote shows, so they just matched him up with some guy.

00:44:37.000 And he came by the cellar and I met him.

00:44:40.000 And I was just like, you know when you meet people who are like... 0.99

00:44:43.000 They just don't give a shit. 0.99

00:44:45.000 You could tell he was just getting paid. 1.00

00:44:47.000 It's just another pilot.

00:44:49.000 He's going to have 50 more.

00:44:50.000 He's already done 25. And we were like, you should really do this for Greg.

00:44:55.000 And he was just like, yeah.

00:44:57.000 And he just knew in his eyes, this guy's not really...

00:45:01.000 Gonna help, Greg.

00:45:03.000 Well, people don't know what we're talking about, but we should try to explain that there was a time where you would go to the Montreal Comedy Festival and you'd get a development deal.

00:45:11.000 And this is like everybody would cash in.

00:45:13.000 You'd go get a development deal and then they would try to do a pilot. 0.98

00:45:17.000 And I knew so many people that lost their fucking minds when they got deals to do a pilot. 0.98

00:45:24.000 I had a phone call from this guy, and I'm not gonna say his name, but he was a terrible comedian. 0.98

00:45:28.000 He calls you up and he says, hey, listen, I know you've got a show that you're working on right now, but I'm telling you, my show is going to go to air and I want you to play my brother.

00:45:37.000 I was like, what?

00:45:38.000 He's like, I know it's a smaller show, but this show is guaranteed to air.

00:45:41.000 Never aired.

00:45:42.000 Of course not.

00:45:43.000 And he starts telling me all these crazy things, like there's a guaranteed pickup and if this doesn't pick up, then NBC Universal's got second position and they're going to pick it up.

00:45:53.000 He was drinking the Kool-Aid.

00:45:55.000 It was like the craziest conversation.

00:45:56.000 It's hard the first time around.

00:45:58.000 Nothing ever happened for him.

00:46:00.000 Nothing.

00:46:01.000 Nothing ever happened for him.

00:46:02.000 When I mean nothing, I mean nothing.

00:46:04.000 I mean, that went away, and then he never really had a stand-up career, never had anything.

00:46:09.000 Who was it again?

00:46:09.000 I'm not saying.

00:46:10.000 But the conversation was so bizarre.

00:46:12.000 Yeah.

00:46:13.000 Because he called me up.

00:46:13.000 I was in the middle of filming something.

00:46:16.000 And he was telling me, listen, forget that bullshit. 0.99

00:46:18.000 I've got a thing. 0.99

00:46:19.000 This is going to go.

00:46:20.000 It hits people's egos.

00:46:22.000 It hits so many people.

00:46:23.000 Yeah, that ego.

00:46:24.000 I knew someone who all of a sudden had an assistant.

00:46:27.000 I'm like, why do you have an assistant?

00:46:29.000 I don't have an assistant.

00:46:30.000 You just got off the plane.

00:46:32.000 I tell people, don't get an assistant. 1.00

00:46:33.000 Do less shit. 0.99

00:46:34.000 If you ever need an assistant, just do less things. 1.00

00:46:37.000 Sarah says that too.

00:46:38.000 Sarah Silverman says that.

00:46:39.000 Smart lady. 0.98

00:46:40.000 That's the move.

00:46:41.000 Do less things.

00:46:42.000 Right. 1.00

00:46:43.000 You don't need a fucking assistant. 1.00

00:46:45.000 Like, what are you doing? 1.00

00:46:46.000 Some people like it.

00:46:47.000 It's the ego stroke of it.

00:46:48.000 Exactly.

00:46:48.000 They know that famous people have assistants.

00:46:51.000 Someone shows up with a pad.

00:46:52.000 What would you like, Tom?

00:46:53.000 Latte? 0.74

00:46:54.000 Latte? 0.74

00:46:54.000 Grande? 0.74

00:46:55.000 Grande latte, Tom.

00:46:56.000 Yeah, coming up with stuff for them to do.

00:46:58.000 But the problem with assistants is sometimes they taser you.

00:47:00.000 Like David Spade's assistant.

00:47:02.000 Yeah.

00:47:02.000 No, I know.

00:47:03.000 Fucking guy tried to kill him. 1.00

00:47:04.000 There's a lot of those stories. 1.00

00:47:05.000 That guy wanted to kill him. 0.85

00:47:06.000 Too close. 0.97

00:47:07.000 Yeah.

00:47:07.000 Way too close.

00:47:08.000 Yeah, well, maybe David wasn't nice to him.

00:47:11.000 I mean, let's just...

00:47:12.000 No.

00:47:13.000 No.

00:47:13.000 I mean, probably not that big a stretch to say he felt a little demeaned.

00:47:20.000 I mean, I don't know what happened.

00:47:21.000 Yeah, I'm sure he just...

00:47:22.000 He could misconstrue...

00:47:24.000 Could be!

00:47:26.000 Just his attitude.

00:47:27.000 The smug asides.

00:47:29.000 Yeah, that's how he talks.

00:47:29.000 He just thought he was serious.

00:47:30.000 He thought he was serious, exactly.

00:47:32.000 It was just jokes.

00:47:33.000 Just jokes.

00:47:34.000 But that was a heady time.

00:47:35.000 I kind of just missed that time.

00:47:37.000 Because that was the way for comedians was...

00:47:41.000 The sitcom.

00:47:42.000 That was the Roseanne, the Seinfeld.

00:47:44.000 Exactly.

00:47:45.000 Everybody was convinced that that was what you needed to do.

00:47:49.000 That was the formula.

00:47:50.000 And so you would do it, and then you would get on a show, and then hopefully people would come to see you at comedy clubs.

00:47:56.000 That's my strategy.

00:47:57.000 I was hoping I could get a special somewhere, and I was hoping someone would come to see me at comedy clubs.

00:48:03.000 I had the thing where I just never thought I was ready for it.

00:48:08.000 Even when I had my first pilot, it was like, yeah, we'll see!

00:48:12.000 And guys with huge egos would be like, This is my thing.

00:48:16.000 I'm going to make this the thing.

00:48:17.000 And I was always like, I don't know if I'm really...

00:48:19.000 People might think I have a huge ego.

00:48:21.000 Good enough.

00:48:21.000 Because it seems like I do.

00:48:23.000 But honestly, I've never thought that anything that I was doing was going to work.

00:48:27.000 Yeah.

00:48:27.000 I always thought it was going to be canceled.

00:48:30.000 I never thought...

00:48:31.000 I did jokes about Fear Factor being canceled the very moment it was on the air.

00:48:35.000 And I'm like, I'm doing this show. 0.97

00:48:37.000 It is not going to fucking last. 1.00

00:48:39.000 They're sticking dogs on people and making them eat animal dicks. 1.00

00:48:42.000 How long are we going to do this? 0.94

00:48:44.000 Or even news radio.

00:48:45.000 That was a great show to kind of check your ego because I was only one of eight people.

00:48:51.000 And the other people, especially Phil Hartman and Dave Foley, were much more famous than me and much more talented.

00:48:57.000 And it was like I had an opportunity to do an apprenticeship.

00:49:03.000 I had an opportunity to learn what it's like to act.

00:49:06.000 I'd never taken...

00:49:07.000 I took a few acting classes, private lessons when I had gotten a development deal, but I never acted.

00:49:13.000 And then all of a sudden, a couple of months later, I'm on TV. Like, literally.

00:49:18.000 Very little preparation.

00:49:20.000 And I'm sitting there next to Phil Hartman.

00:49:22.000 It's so crazy.

00:49:23.000 On a TV show.

00:49:24.000 And if you watch those old news radios, it looks like it. 0.97

00:49:27.000 Because my character had to be kind of innocent and stupid, and I was really into conspiracies, which they made. 0.98

00:49:36.000 That's so funny. 0.99

00:49:37.000 Because of me, because I really was really into conspiracies.

00:49:39.000 They kind of turned my character that way.

00:49:40.000 But while I was there, I was kind of like, huh, is this really happening?

00:49:44.000 Even while I was doing it.

00:49:45.000 Well, that's what's wild about it, is a lot of moments in this career.

00:49:48.000 Look at me.

00:49:49.000 Oh, so cute.

00:49:50.000 Oh, adorable.

00:49:51.000 Fresh-faced 27-year-old.

00:49:52.000 Look at that.

00:49:53.000 27?

00:49:54.000 Yeah, back then.

00:49:55.000 It's weird because you get into a situation where you have to be great at it while you're learning it.

00:50:00.000 Yeah.

00:50:00.000 Like, that is a...

00:50:02.000 But the thing is...

00:50:03.000 But you were surrounded by good people.

00:50:04.000 And it's also...

00:50:05.000 It's sitcom acting.

00:50:06.000 Right.

00:50:07.000 And stand-up is harder than that.

00:50:08.000 And I had already been doing stand-up for six years.

00:50:11.000 But were you...

00:50:11.000 Did you believe that when you walked in there?

00:50:13.000 Didn't you think this is...

00:50:15.000 Yes.

00:50:16.000 This has got to be harder?

00:50:17.000 No.

00:50:17.000 No, it's definitely easier.

00:50:19.000 Oh, I know it is, but when you first showed up on set, weren't you scared?

00:50:23.000 No.

00:50:24.000 I don't know this.

00:50:25.000 No, no, I thought it was easier, for sure.

00:50:27.000 You did?

00:50:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.

00:50:28.000 Yeah, it was definitely easier.

00:50:30.000 Because you could do it again. 0.99

00:50:32.000 Like, you did it in front of a live audience if you fucked up. 1.00

00:50:34.000 Like, we fucked up all the time. 0.99

00:50:35.000 We would laugh about it, and then we would do a retake. 0.98

00:50:37.000 Like, I was always laughing when I would do scenes with Andy Dick.

00:50:40.000 I could never keep it together.

00:50:42.000 Oh, really?

00:50:42.000 I'd try to keep a straight face, and I would always crack.

00:50:45.000 He was so funny, man. 0.99

00:50:47.000 I mean, he's so self-destructive and so crazy, but so fucking talented. 0.96

00:50:51.000 Andy Dick is literally one of the funniest human beings I've ever done anything with. 0.98

00:50:56.000 But after a while, you're like, I can't.

00:50:58.000 I can't do this anymore. 1.00

00:50:59.000 You're just too crazy. 0.97

00:51:01.000 But so talented.

00:51:02.000 And when he and I had this weird sort of dynamic on the show, and we had these hilarious scenes together, it was so hard to do. 0.90

00:51:11.000 So you'd be able to fuck up and laugh, and then...

00:51:14.000 The audience actually got a kick out of it. 0.99

00:51:16.000 Yeah, of course.

00:51:16.000 Because they got to see how the sausage was made.

00:51:18.000 Right.

00:51:19.000 They got to see the behind the scenes.

00:51:20.000 Because you're breaking.

00:51:21.000 But way easier.

00:51:22.000 If you follow the line, they give it to you, you redo it.

00:51:24.000 It's a hundred times easier than you stand up.

00:51:27.000 Oh, it is, yeah.

00:51:27.000 But when you don't know it.

00:51:28.000 Yours was the Ray Romano role, right?

00:51:31.000 Well, sort of.

00:51:32.000 I took the Ray Romano role that someone else took.

00:51:36.000 See, what happens is Ray got fired from the pilot.

00:51:38.000 They brought in another guy for the pilot.

00:51:40.000 Oh, okay.

00:51:41.000 That guy did the pilot.

00:51:42.000 There was another guy on the original episode of News Radio that played me.

00:51:45.000 And then they fired that guy.

00:51:47.000 And then I entered into a cattle call.

00:51:49.000 And there was like a hundred dudes that auditioned for the part.

00:51:52.000 And I wound up getting it.

00:51:54.000 Wow.

00:51:54.000 Yeah.

00:51:55.000 Oh, all right.

00:51:56.000 That's good.

00:51:56.000 But I had a development deal with NBC to do my own show.

00:52:00.000 Oh, so they could use your contract and put you in that?

00:52:02.000 Yeah.

00:52:03.000 So in the middle of the development deal, they're trying to find me writers.

00:52:05.000 We're talking about different projects.

00:52:07.000 Yeah.

00:52:08.000 And they say to me, hey, we have this show we'd like you to look at. 0.98

00:52:11.000 And they showed me this pilot, which is fucking genius. 0.92

00:52:14.000 And I just come from this Fox show, which started off really good. 0.97

00:52:18.000 The writers were hilarious.

00:52:20.000 Yeah.

00:52:20.000 They were really good writers.

00:52:22.000 They wrote for The Simpsons.

00:52:23.000 They wrote for Married with Children.

00:52:24.000 They were excellent.

00:52:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:52:25.000 But they got fucked over hard. 1.00

00:52:27.000 They brought in this... 1.00

00:52:29.000 We're good to go.

00:52:45.000 The idea, that's where the luck comes in, that all those people are going to be cool and not ruin it.

00:52:50.000 It's just something that's waiting to be ruined.

00:52:52.000 Yeah, everything where you get a lot of people together and try to create an art piece, good luck.

00:52:58.000 Tough.

00:52:58.000 Sometimes it works.

00:52:59.000 Yeah, but you know, that's like why the great directors, you know, like the Soderberghs and the Nolans.

00:53:05.000 James Camerons.

00:53:06.000 They end up working with a lot of the same people all the time.

00:53:09.000 Adam Sandler does that as well.

00:53:10.000 Yeah, because you have some control over the universe.

00:53:14.000 But you also know how each other works, and you all have a common goal, and you've done it before, so you know how to do it.

00:53:20.000 Or you have these people that are these super powerful figures like Cameron, who just takes control of everything. 0.71

00:53:27.000 I've heard James Cameron will grab a paintbrush, give me that fucking thing, you don't know what you're doing, and paint the wall, because it's just like he's got a vision.

00:53:34.000 And if they let him do it, you get Avatar. 0.99

00:53:38.000 Right, right. 0.84

00:53:39.000 Otherwise, you get fucking a bunch of other people, and then you get one of the more recent Star Wars movies, right? 0.92

00:53:45.000 You get a bunch of people trying to add this and that, and use a formula, and blah! 1.00

00:53:51.000 You get dog shit. 1.00

00:53:53.000 You get dog shit. 1.00

00:53:54.000 And that was the guy, back to the Geraldo thing, when I saw that guy, I knew he was one of those guys. 1.00

00:53:59.000 It was just like, ugh.

00:54:00.000 And then it just ended up like, oh, that's not Greg.

00:54:03.000 Well, after I did NewsRadio, I did have a development deal to do another show.

00:54:07.000 I think I might have had two different development deals.

00:54:10.000 I had one, then another one afterwards.

00:54:11.000 But I was like...

00:54:12.000 Really soured. 0.99

00:54:13.000 Because news radio was so good and the directors and the producers and the actors and everyone, the writers were so fucking good. 0.54

00:54:21.000 Those scripts were really great. 0.89

00:54:23.000 I would read this other stuff and I'd be like, this is horrible.

00:54:26.000 I can't do...

00:54:27.000 And also, the risk of...

00:54:29.000 The crew that we had were hard partiers that were really fun people.

00:54:35.000 Like me and Foley and Maura and some of the other folks on the show, we would get hammered.

00:54:41.000 I mean, after the show.

00:54:43.000 After the show film, we'd go to local bars, we'd walk to a local bar, or we'd drink on the set.

00:54:48.000 We would get blasted.

00:54:49.000 They were partiers, especially Foley.

00:54:52.000 He loved to drink.

00:54:53.000 And it was like there was a camaraderie to that.

00:54:57.000 And we always felt like we were outcasts.

00:54:59.000 We never made it, you know?

00:55:01.000 That show didn't become famous, really, until after it was canceled.

00:55:05.000 Yeah.

00:55:05.000 I remember thinking about writing and getting some news radio scripts from my agent.

00:55:11.000 They were so funny.

00:55:13.000 They're brilliant.

00:55:13.000 They were so tight.

00:55:14.000 Paul Simms is a legitimate genius.

00:55:15.000 They were tight.

00:55:17.000 But what a cool thing to be in that kind of an environment, because a lot of times you end up playing a dad or something, and it's like...

00:55:26.000 Your comedic brothers around you.

00:55:28.000 That's like a pirate ship.

00:55:30.000 It was like punk rock a little bit.

00:55:31.000 We were doing this show, but we knew that we were the underdogs.

00:55:34.000 We never had a good time slot.

00:55:36.000 We only had a good time slot once.

00:55:38.000 They put us on after Friends once, and we were number three. 0.99

00:55:42.000 We were like, holy shit. 0.99

00:55:43.000 We realized that's what it takes. 0.99

00:55:44.000 You have to be on after a really good show.

00:55:46.000 How long was it on?

00:55:47.000 We were on for five years, but the last year was the year after Phil was murdered.

00:55:52.000 So the last year was with John Lovitz.

00:55:55.000 He took over the Hartman spot, and he was a really good friend of Phil's.

00:56:00.000 He had done an episode before, and so he would probably be the only guy that we would have embraced to do that because it was just like he sort of fit that groove.

00:56:11.000 The toughest.

00:56:13.000 He's so funny.

00:56:14.000 He's such a funny cat.

00:56:15.000 That was the only year that we thought that it was going to come back.

00:56:18.000 Like, every year we thought it was going to be cancelled.

00:56:20.000 Like, first year, this is not going to make it. 0.51

00:56:22.000 Our ratings suck, and we made it back.

00:56:24.000 And then the fifth year, we were like, well, we're doing pretty good. 0.89

00:56:27.000 Cancelled.

00:56:27.000 Ah, weird.

00:56:28.000 They pulled the plug on it.

00:56:29.000 That's weird.

00:56:30.000 What people decide to cancel and don't decide to cancel, unless you're a giant hit, unless you're like Modern Family or something like that, you really never know.

00:56:40.000 You don't know. 0.98

00:56:41.000 That's a fucking great show, Modern Family. 1.00

00:56:43.000 Oh, God. 1.00

00:56:44.000 I never watched it.

00:56:45.000 It's really good.

00:56:45.000 But my whole family got into it during the lockdown.

00:56:47.000 Oh, yeah?

00:56:48.000 Yeah.

00:56:48.000 God, that's a good show.

00:56:50.000 Talk about great writing, great acting.

00:56:52.000 So well written.

00:56:53.000 I know.

00:56:53.000 So well acted.

00:56:55.000 So good.

00:56:55.000 Yeah.

00:56:56.000 Amazing.

00:56:57.000 I auditioned for a role in it, and it was kind of okay.

00:57:03.000 But it was, what's his name?

00:57:06.000 You know, the husband.

00:57:08.000 I'm spacing on his name.

00:57:10.000 But it's one of those where you audition for something and then you watch somebody who got the role and you're like, oh yeah.

00:57:16.000 Yeah, he's better than me.

00:57:18.000 Good move.

00:57:19.000 I love Ed O'Neill too.

00:57:21.000 He's great.

00:57:22.000 I mean, to have that character, to have those two great characters, like married with children and then this.

00:57:29.000 I know.

00:57:29.000 So good.

00:57:30.000 Everyone on that is solid.

00:57:32.000 And the storylines are so good.

00:57:34.000 It's so good.

00:57:35.000 It's just such a well-made show.

00:57:37.000 And the fact that it's done that way and that funny with no audience is incredible.

00:57:41.000 I know.

00:57:41.000 You know?

00:57:42.000 It's all singing camera.

00:57:44.000 That means that there's people that know funny.

00:57:47.000 Yeah.

00:57:48.000 Right?

00:57:48.000 Because you can get in that situation and have somebody who, yeah, it's funny enough.

00:57:52.000 That's funny.

00:57:53.000 Right?

00:57:53.000 They don't have that level of what they know is funny.

00:57:56.000 Do you ever watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt?

00:57:59.000 No.

00:57:59.000 One of the funniest shows on TV. Really?

00:58:02.000 Amazing.

00:58:03.000 So good.

00:58:03.000 Tina Fey's.

00:58:04.000 Yeah, it's Tina Fey's show. 0.98

00:58:05.000 It's on Netflix.

00:58:06.000 I forget who the girl is, the red-headed girl, but the girl who plays Kimmy Schmidt and Titus Andromedus, the gay guy.

00:58:13.000 He's great. 0.99

00:58:14.000 He's fucking amazing. 0.98

00:58:15.000 He's a force. 0.99

00:58:15.000 He's so good. 0.99

00:58:17.000 It's a hilarious show, man.

00:58:18.000 And it's a crazy show.

00:58:19.000 It's about a girl who gets kidnapped, brought into a sex cult, and locked into a bunker for 15 years.

00:58:25.000 So she gets released, and she has no idea how the world works.

00:58:29.000 But she's super innocent, but really positive. 0.98

00:58:31.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

00:58:32.000 That's great. 1.00

00:58:33.000 It's a really good show, man.

00:58:34.000 I love those characters.

00:58:36.000 What about Ted Lasso?

00:58:37.000 You seeing that one now?

00:58:38.000 What's that?

00:58:39.000 That's...

00:58:39.000 Oh, what's his name?

00:58:42.000 Jason Sudeikis.

00:58:44.000 No, I don't know what that is.

00:58:45.000 It's on, I think, on Apple.

00:58:48.000 So, similar character.

00:58:49.000 It's one of those Apple-only shows?

00:58:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:52.000 Those are weird.

00:58:53.000 Like, who's watching those?

00:58:53.000 I don't know.

00:58:54.000 This one seems like it's catching.

00:58:56.000 This one seems like, yeah.

00:58:57.000 And the same kind of character.

00:58:59.000 He's just wide-eyed and super optimistic football coach that comes to England to coach soccer.

00:59:05.000 That's a good premise.

00:59:06.000 And he's so positive.

00:59:07.000 He's just really just...

00:59:09.000 You can't break this guy. 0.99

00:59:11.000 And it's almost like a dumb optimism. 0.98

00:59:14.000 It's great. 0.96

00:59:15.000 He's so good in it.

00:59:16.000 Everyone on it is.

00:59:16.000 There's too much good stuff to watch right now.

00:59:18.000 I know.

00:59:19.000 Oh, you know what I did want to talk to you about?

00:59:21.000 Yeah.

00:59:21.000 I watched The Social Dilemma.

00:59:23.000 Oh, jeez.

00:59:24.000 Dude.

00:59:27.000 You know...

00:59:28.000 That's a must-see, kids.

00:59:29.000 I heard it's depressing.

00:59:31.000 Oh, so is real life.

00:59:32.000 Because it's so real.

00:59:33.000 Real life's depressing, Tom.

00:59:35.000 Listen to you.

00:59:36.000 Everything's gonna be fine.

00:59:37.000 Wear a mask.

00:59:38.000 I live in communist Russia.

00:59:40.000 Wear a mask.

00:59:41.000 Trust me. 1.00

00:59:42.000 Gavin Newsom's penis tastes delicious. 1.00

00:59:44.000 We're all gonna be fine. 1.00

00:59:47.000 We are going to be fine.

00:59:48.000 You think we exist on this plane and this plane only?

00:59:52.000 Ooh, that's heavy.

00:59:53.000 No.

00:59:53.000 No, because I've done a lot of drugs.

00:59:55.000 I think there's probably something else.

00:59:57.000 Yeah, you've seen.

00:59:57.000 I think there's something else out there, but just unaccessible right now.

01:00:01.000 Yeah.

01:00:01.000 But this social dilemma makes me very concerned about the future.

01:00:07.000 Because all of these technologists and all these people that have invented all this stuff that...

01:00:12.000 Now are very unhappy.

01:00:13.000 It's really fascinating to see them discussing their own creations and see outsiders who are also technologists who didn't Didn't invent these things, but are seeing the patterns of these things and understand it from, you know, a really educated perspective.

01:00:28.000 They're saying this could lead to civil war.

01:00:30.000 Like, people are getting more and more divided.

01:00:31.000 And it shows in the film how social media has made people far more polarized, far more divided than ever before.

01:00:39.000 The red and the blue and the...

01:00:40.000 Sure.

01:00:41.000 You know, it's like...

01:00:41.000 It's disturbing.

01:00:43.000 What's the most dangerous part of it?

01:00:46.000 And can it be corrected?

01:00:47.000 Well, there's a lot of dangerous parts about it, but the thought bubbles, the fact that these people get in these bubbles of thought where everybody around you thinks your way and everybody who thinks a different way is the enemy.

01:00:59.000 Yeah.

01:01:00.000 This is a really dangerous part of the reality that we live in today because it's not what we anticipated.

01:01:07.000 I thought that the internet and the age of information and all that we're experiencing right now would bring about an understanding and a nuanced perspective.

01:01:16.000 Yeah.

01:01:18.000 Yeah.

01:01:35.000 Yeah.

01:02:00.000 Mm-hmm.

01:02:11.000 If you could say anything about Trump, one of the things you would say that's negative is he seems to not be empathetic.

01:02:18.000 He doesn't seem to care about other people the way you would want a leader to care about people.

01:02:22.000 You don't buy it.

01:02:24.000 Even when people die, like when John McCain died, he still never had any empathy for the guy.

01:02:30.000 No.

01:02:34.000 There's so many, and it's so easy to look at him, and even though in his mind, he's got to be a tough guy, if people come at him, he's going to come back at them, but this is sort of the mentality that someone takes if you're battling trolls online.

01:02:48.000 You don't understand, like, you, as the president, you're in this rare position.

01:02:54.000 You can't be responding to individuals.

01:02:56.000 Because you're too big.

01:02:58.000 You represent a different thing.

01:02:59.000 You're not Donald Trump anymore.

01:03:01.000 You're Donald Trump who is also the president of the United States.

01:03:05.000 And if you don't adjust the way you communicate with people and bring people together...

01:03:11.000 And one of the things that Obama did brilliantly Was he made you feel like America was something you could be proud of because that guy's representing you.

01:03:22.000 This really articulate, super smooth statesman who seemed elegant and he seemed like composed.

01:03:32.000 And when he would speak, regardless of his policies, you know, regardless of the criticism you might have of his administration, the way he handled the role of president...

01:03:44.000 Perfect.

01:03:45.000 A-plus.

01:03:46.000 No pettiness. 0.97

01:03:49.000 No, I mean, I think he called Kanye jackass once. 0.97

01:03:52.000 That's about it. 0.92

01:03:53.000 What might have led to Kanye wanted to be president. 0.99

01:03:55.000 He might have fucking made Trump be president. 0.99

01:03:58.000 Well, yeah. 0.99

01:03:59.000 That White House Correspondents dinner where he shit on Trump, and you see Trump going there, him. 0.99

01:04:03.000 Yes, Seth Meyers. 0.99

01:04:04.000 I'm one thing you'll never be, which is President of the United States.

01:04:07.000 Everyone's laughing and he's just glaring up at the dais.

01:04:10.000 No, that was a moment. 0.56

01:04:11.000 That psychopath, he took you up on that little challenge.

01:04:15.000 But you take someone that has lack of empathy and doesn't really see the responsibility of the office and what he says, and you combine that with that technology.

01:04:24.000 That's a dangerous combination.

01:04:28.000 It is.

01:04:28.000 You're asking a guy to change who he is at 73. Right.

01:04:33.000 Or 72, whatever he was when he got in.

01:04:36.000 71?

01:04:36.000 I think it was 71 when he got in.

01:04:38.000 You're asking a guy in his 70s to change who he is.

01:04:41.000 And the thing that made him successful, the reason why he was in all these rap songs, like if you go back and listen to rap music in the 80s and 90s, Trump's name was thrown up all the time.

01:04:51.000 Right.

01:04:51.000 He was that guy.

01:04:52.000 He was that guy with the big gold letters on his fucking building. 1.00

01:04:55.000 Yeah, and fighting with Rosie O'Donnell and calling her a pig and all that stuff. 1.00

01:05:00.000 All that stuff.

01:05:00.000 Well, that was okay back then for some reason.

01:05:04.000 He would call her terrible names on the Conan O'Brien show or whatever show he was on.

01:05:07.000 Because he was a television celebrity.

01:05:10.000 Letterman, yeah.

01:05:10.000 But he was famous for being that guy.

01:05:12.000 Right.

01:05:13.000 So that guy became president.

01:05:14.000 Mm-hmm.

01:05:15.000 And there's always a polarization. 0.98

01:05:18.000 There's always a group of people that hate the president because they didn't vote for him, and they want him to fuck up, and they want him to fail, and they want everything that he's doing to be wrong. 0.98

01:05:26.000 But do you remember when they got mad at Obama for wearing a tan suit? 0.99

01:05:30.000 Yeah, it was horrible.

01:05:31.000 Do you remember that?

01:05:31.000 Yeah, it was like the greatest violation of the office.

01:05:34.000 And they made a big deal about it.

01:05:35.000 Or when he fist bumped his wife.

01:05:38.000 The outrage. 1.00

01:05:39.000 Why do you fucking care about this? 0.99

01:05:41.000 I know. 0.99

01:05:42.000 He's got a nice suit on.

01:05:43.000 It looks good.

01:05:44.000 Look good in that suit.

01:05:46.000 So there's that, right?

01:05:48.000 There's Trump as a figurehead, which accelerates everything.

01:05:50.000 He's gasoline on an already raging wildfire.

01:05:53.000 He loves keeping the temperature At maximum.

01:05:56.000 He wants everything at a hot boil.

01:05:58.000 And you really feel it.

01:06:00.000 You know that that's the thing of that office.

01:06:03.000 He could calm this situation down.

01:06:05.000 He could make you all relax.

01:06:06.000 I think he knows how to do it.

01:06:08.000 And he exists.

01:06:10.000 He's like the only one who's comfortable.

01:06:12.000 Like, you ever go out with a girl who loves to fight?

01:06:16.000 Yeah.

01:06:16.000 And just...

01:06:17.000 She's only comfortable because that's the way she was raised.

01:06:19.000 And they get mad if you don't want to fight back.

01:06:21.000 Yes, that's him.

01:06:22.000 That's him.

01:06:23.000 He wants to fight. 0.99

01:06:25.000 He'll bring shit up until you take the bait and there's a fight on and then they calm down and you're having a nervous breakdown. 0.99

01:06:31.000 So it's not all his fault though. 0.99

01:06:33.000 There's social media and the divide that comes, and this is where the social dilemma comes in place, there's a divide that comes about because of the way they've engineered these algorithms, which is really disturbing.

01:06:46.000 So whatever you're into, it finds those things and accentuates them, because it just wants you to stay on more.

01:06:53.000 It wants you to engage more.

01:06:55.000 It wants you to pay attention to the things.

01:06:57.000 Now, Ari Shaffir did a little bit of a study on this, a little bit of a test. 0.56

01:07:02.000 And he only YouTubed puppies.

01:07:05.000 That's all he would YouTube.

01:07:07.000 Just YouTube puppies.

01:07:08.000 Just to see what happened.

01:07:09.000 And all YouTube would send him is puppies.

01:07:14.000 Right.

01:07:15.000 All they would show him, all they would suggest is puppies.

01:07:18.000 Yep.

01:07:22.000 Is a little disingenuous.

01:07:23.000 Because what they're really doing is finding what you're interested in.

01:07:27.000 And people have been shown to pay attention to what they disagree with far more than what they agree with.

01:07:35.000 The algorithm spits you things that you disagree with more.

01:07:38.000 Exactly.

01:07:39.000 Because you get engaged with that and you get angry.

01:07:41.000 Oh.

01:07:42.000 That was a part of the movie.

01:07:44.000 It was showing how things that people disagree with, things that make people upset, those are the things that people are much more likely to engage with. 1.00

01:07:53.000 And you're like, fuck you, fucking liberals, or fuck you, you fucking racist. 1.00

01:07:57.000 Everyone's racist. 1.00

01:07:57.000 Right, right. 1.00

01:07:58.000 It's this thing that is a part of being a person, where you seek, especially when you don't feel like you're being heard. 1.00

01:08:07.000 When you're at home, and you're sitting on the toilet, and you're going through Facebook, and you see some shit about, what the fuck, burn the flag, you motherfuckers! 1.00

01:08:15.000 And you start making these messages, and you're more likely to do that than seeing some beautiful story about these parents that adopt this kid, and they give him a home, and he comes from a bad part of the world. 1.00

01:08:29.000 You're not going to go, way to go for you.

01:08:31.000 Let me write down all the amazing things about what you're doing.

01:08:34.000 Isn't that terrible?

01:08:35.000 Yeah, you're going to get mad.

01:08:36.000 Or if you're on the left, you're going to get mad because of the wildfires.

01:08:40.000 You're going to blame them on Trump and climate change and all these different things.

01:08:43.000 Yeah.

01:08:44.000 Gets your outrage going.

01:08:46.000 Yeah, I mean, so many people think Trump's responsible for the wildfires. 0.99

01:08:49.000 Listen, folks, those fucking fires were going to happen regardless of who is president. 0.95

01:08:54.000 Now, whether or not he is putting in policies that's going to protect people 10, 20 years from now, that's a real argument. 0.99

01:09:01.000 But the fucking fires that are going on right now are not because of Trump. 0.98

01:09:04.000 It takes a long time to turn that battleship. 1.00

01:09:07.000 Absolutely.

01:09:08.000 It's not his fault.

01:09:09.000 And I'm not saying he's done good things for the environment.

01:09:13.000 That's not what I'm saying.

01:09:13.000 He's not plotting a future that you think will help out these fires in the future.

01:09:18.000 Right.

01:09:18.000 You do have to take into consideration...

01:09:20.000 And here's the thing.

01:09:21.000 Everybody's applauding Newsom for saying that they're going to eliminate these gasoline-powered cars by 2035. Finally!

01:09:29.000 You can't...

01:09:30.000 But here's the thing.

01:09:31.000 Because you and I both have Teslas.

01:09:32.000 But here's the thing.

01:09:34.000 Those batteries don't come free.

01:09:36.000 You have to get lithium out of the ground. 0.95

01:09:39.000 I mean, they're fucking literally staging military coups.

01:09:42.000 There was a story about... 0.96

01:09:44.000 See, there was a thing, there was a controversy, because Elon Musk made a tweet.

01:09:50.000 And I think the tweet was something, we'll coup whoever we want to, or something crazy.

01:09:55.000 He was just responding to someone.

01:09:57.000 I think he was just joking around about it.

01:10:01.000 But people were saying, here it is.

01:10:03.000 We will coup whoever we want, Elon Musk and the overthrow of democracy in Bolivia.

01:10:08.000 He probably shouldn't say that, Elon.

01:10:11.000 He's probably joking around. 0.99

01:10:12.000 But the idea is that lithium, which is a primary component of these batteries, you're gonna need a massive amount of that shit. 0.99

01:10:22.000 And that shit is called conflict minerals. 0.99

01:10:25.000 Conflict minerals, one of the reasons why they call them that is because these fucking minerals are in the Congo, they're in Afghanistan, they're in all these places that are, you know, there's a lot of people vying for them, like China's trying to get into the Congo. 1.00

01:10:40.000 Blood diamonds. 0.97

01:10:40.000 Yeah, it's, well, it's a little sketchier than diamonds. 0.97

01:10:44.000 You're gonna need a whole lot more of it.

01:10:45.000 Right.

01:10:45.000 And You need it to get batteries.

01:10:48.000 It's not like it's a free ride to get batteries.

01:10:50.000 Yeah, but, you know, so you lose democracy in Bolivia.

01:10:54.000 At least there's no more fires.

01:10:56.000 At least the air's better.

01:10:58.000 I don't think it works that way.

01:10:58.000 Everything's a little evil.

01:10:59.000 I don't think it works that way.

01:11:01.000 I think we gotta figure out how to suck carbon out of the air.

01:11:05.000 They have figured that out.

01:11:07.000 There's like small-scale versions of these things that look like...

01:11:10.000 It looks like an air cleaner that's the size of a skyscraper.

01:11:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:14.000 Yeah, and they've talked about implementing these things to actually extract carbon from the atmosphere.

01:11:19.000 What about that soil documentary?

01:11:20.000 Did you see that one where they...

01:11:21.000 It's all about the soil. 0.99

01:11:22.000 That's fucking terrifying. 1.00

01:11:23.000 Like sucking... 1.00

01:11:24.000 Like if you heal the soil, you'll heal the earth. 0.63

01:11:29.000 Well, regenerative farming is the best way to heal the soil.

01:11:33.000 And there are some people that are experts on regenerative farming.

01:11:36.000 And regenerative farming is essentially what they're doing is farming the way they farmed thousands of years ago or hundreds of years ago.

01:11:43.000 The way you're supposed to, like, ruminants, animals, eat grass, they shit, the manure actually brings these nutrients back into the earth and that acts as fertilizer for new plants to grow.

01:11:57.000 You rotate the crops.

01:11:58.000 And it's supposed to have a carbon neutral effect when it's done correctly. 0.99

01:12:02.000 The problem is, we've adapted to this world where you want to pull in a jack-in-the-box, get a cheeseburger in five seconds, and that has got to be cheap meat, and cheap meat comes from factory farming, and factory farming is universally regarded as fucking disgusting. 0.98

01:12:15.000 Horrible. 0.99

01:12:16.000 So, that way, you've got trucks, and you've got all these fucking animals, and they're eating terrible food, and it's all gross. 0.99

01:12:24.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:12:24.000 Like, from top to bottom, it's gross. 0.99

01:12:26.000 Horrible. 0.93

01:12:27.000 And it's a new documentary on Netflix.

01:12:29.000 I forget the name of it.

01:12:31.000 What do you have?

01:12:31.000 Kiss the Ground.

01:12:32.000 Kiss the Ground.

01:12:33.000 Really good, because it's kind of one of those that actually gives you some hope.

01:12:37.000 You're like, well, this isn't that complex of a solution that could actually change things.

01:12:42.000 What is their solution?

01:12:42.000 What are they trying to do?

01:12:43.000 They're trying to...

01:12:44.000 Regenitor farming?

01:12:46.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:12:46.000 The thing about regenerative farming, though, is I don't know if it will work at scale.

01:12:50.000 Like, we had Joel Salatin on a few...

01:12:53.000 Well, we've had him on twice, but we had him on a few months back. 0.98

01:12:56.000 There's a guy who doesn't give a fuck about coronavirus, by the way. 0.98

01:12:58.000 Oh, really? 0.99

01:12:59.000 Older fella, farmer, healthy as an ox.

01:13:03.000 Drinks out of the trough where the cows drink.

01:13:06.000 Because he says he gets that biome into his gut.

01:13:10.000 He wants that.

01:13:11.000 He wants all the bacteria.

01:13:13.000 Really?

01:13:14.000 Yeah.

01:13:14.000 Doesn't wash his hands.

01:13:16.000 Doesn't get sick.

01:13:17.000 That's why I feel comedians have kind of been strong.

01:13:20.000 We're traveling.

01:13:21.000 We're in front of all these people.

01:13:22.000 You're holding mics.

01:13:23.000 There are other grubby comedians.

01:13:24.000 Well, that's the argument about prisoners, you know?

01:13:26.000 Yeah.

01:13:27.000 Most prisoners are asymptomatic from coronavirus, which is fascinating.

01:13:31.000 Yeah.

01:13:31.000 Because they're just surrounded by germs all the time.

01:13:34.000 Yeah, you would think they're so stressed out. 1.00

01:13:36.000 Like, here they are in fucking jail. 1.00

01:13:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:38.000 That's about as stressful as life gets. 1.00

01:13:39.000 Oh, God.

01:13:40.000 But everyone's coughing in everybody's mouth, and they're fine.

01:13:43.000 Ugh.

01:13:44.000 But yeah, I know, your immune system, you know, it gets ramped up and it goes to work.

01:13:47.000 By the way, what's going on with Harvey Weinstein?

01:13:49.000 He's fat and old, and he got coronavirus when he was in jail. 0.95

01:13:53.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:13:54.000 Nobody heard a peep out of that guy.

01:13:55.000 Yeah, because he's probably in a house in the Hampton.

01:13:58.000 You never heard about that guy, right?

01:14:00.000 You don't hear about him at all anymore, right?

01:14:02.000 No.

01:14:02.000 He's the one that started it all.

01:14:04.000 There was a rapper who just got sent back to jail for social distancing violation.

01:14:09.000 How about that?

01:14:10.000 Sent back to jail?

01:14:12.000 Sent back to jail.

01:14:13.000 Yeah.

01:14:14.000 He shot at Chief Keefe.

01:14:17.000 You can't be shooting him!

01:14:19.000 That's what I say. 0.74

01:14:21.000 He shot at him, though.

01:14:22.000 He didn't shoot him, but they sent him to jail, and then they released him because of the coronavirus, and they got pictures of him at a party, having a good old time, and it was like, oh, he's social distance violating, so they put him back in jail. 0.96

01:14:36.000 What a dummy. 0.59

01:14:37.000 Can you imagine that? 0.99

01:14:38.000 I didn't know you could go back to jail for violating social distancing rules.

01:14:42.000 Well, this seems like a special case.

01:14:45.000 Perhaps.

01:14:46.000 I know, right?

01:14:47.000 If you get out of jail for shooting at somebody because you might get a cold.

01:14:51.000 Yeah.

01:14:51.000 I mean, he's a young guy, too.

01:14:52.000 He'll probably shake it off like that.

01:14:54.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:14:55.000 Just play by the rules.

01:14:56.000 Just turn it down a notch.

01:14:57.000 Yeah, if I was his lawyer, I'd be like, bro.

01:14:59.000 Stay inside.

01:15:00.000 Listen, man.

01:15:00.000 I know you like partying, but do you have a mask?

01:15:03.000 Yeah.

01:15:04.000 Yeah.

01:15:05.000 Wear a mask when you party, like a Halloween mask.

01:15:08.000 Yeah, right, exactly.

01:15:10.000 Just put on a big thing.

01:15:11.000 Yeah, this is the dude.

01:15:15.000 Takeshi69 ex-associate, Kuda B, I like that name, headed back to prison for party stunt.

01:15:20.000 Well, they're calling it a party stunt.

01:15:22.000 They were calling it a social distance violation.

01:15:24.000 What would you think?

01:15:25.000 He hasn't even been sentenced yet, apparently, so he might have got out early while he was being held.

01:15:29.000 Caught on tape partying with a large group of people in a Brooklyn apartment soon after his April release.

01:15:35.000 Manhattan federal judge called the decision to have a party after receiving social distancing orders.

01:15:43.000 An astonishing stunt.

01:15:44.000 And he ordered...

01:15:46.000 Cuda? 0.94

01:15:47.000 Cuda.

01:15:47.000 To surrender to U.S. Marshals no later than 2 p.m.

01:15:51.000 October 15th.

01:15:52.000 So he's got some days to party.

01:15:53.000 So it's only the 6th. 0.99

01:15:55.000 Homeboy's got 9 days to fucking have a good old time. 0.99

01:15:58.000 Jeez. 1.00

01:15:58.000 Maybe we need face tattoos. 1.00

01:16:02.000 Why?

01:16:02.000 It's like all the cool kids got them.

01:16:04.000 No, we're too old, dude.

01:16:05.000 Are we?

01:16:05.000 If you get a face tattoo and you're our age, people frown upon that.

01:16:08.000 Do they?

01:16:08.000 Yeah, they think you're suicidal.

01:16:10.000 You're losing your mind.

01:16:11.000 Maybe you get a nice little star on your cheek.

01:16:13.000 Just a little tiny one.

01:16:14.000 Yeah.

01:16:14.000 Hey.

01:16:15.000 Why not, man?

01:16:16.000 Like the NBC thing?

01:16:17.000 Maybe.

01:16:17.000 The more you know.

01:16:18.000 What if you got your lips done?

01:16:20.000 Like, just real subtle.

01:16:22.000 Like, you came and your lips were darker.

01:16:23.000 I'd be like, what's going on with your lips, Tom?

01:16:26.000 What?

01:16:27.000 I don't know.

01:16:27.000 They were always this way.

01:16:29.000 Like, all of a sudden, your lips are dark.

01:16:32.000 I don't know if you caught what he was in jail for, by the way.

01:16:35.000 Shot at Chief Keef.

01:16:36.000 He paid someone to.

01:16:38.000 Oh, he paid someone to cut that.

01:16:39.000 According to McKenzie's confession, Takeshi69 paid that guy to shoot at Chief Keef.

01:16:46.000 Supposedly, in an attempt to scare the rival rather than seriously injure him, instead, Kuda opted to outsource the shooting to someone else, but still pled guilty to assault with a dangerous weapon in aid of racketeering, which is a maximum prison sentence of 20 years.

01:17:01.000 He's only 22 years old, but likely to spend the next couple of decades behind bars.

01:17:05.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:17:06.000 So he was out?

01:17:07.000 Are they gang-related?

01:17:08.000 He has not yet been sentenced, so he was being held with a bunch of other people who were backed up in the court system.

01:17:15.000 Oh, so they let him out just...

01:17:17.000 Like on bail.

01:17:17.000 On bail.

01:17:18.000 Maybe he wasn't ran to bail or something.

01:17:20.000 So they're like, well, now you're not out on bail.

01:17:23.000 You violate it. 0.99

01:17:24.000 He's going to jail for a long fucking time. 1.00

01:17:26.000 I hope he got another face tattoo before he went in. 1.00

01:17:28.000 He should have got a raft and gone to Cuba.

01:17:32.000 Could you escape?

01:17:33.000 Like, if you had to go on the run, okay, you get busted for something.

01:17:36.000 Maybe you didn't do it, but the fuzz is coming for you.

01:17:40.000 Would it be possible to escape the law for the rest of your life nowadays?

01:17:44.000 I was talking to a man who knows things.

01:17:47.000 And he was telling me that there is technology that they're working on that's going to let them hear fully clear, completely crystal clear conversations from satellites.

01:17:59.000 Uh-huh.

01:18:00.000 You mean person-to-person conversation?

01:18:01.000 I mean you, in your house, having a conversation with your wife.

01:18:05.000 They're going to be able to hear you from a satellite.

01:18:07.000 They just tune into your house.

01:18:09.000 They're going to be so bored.

01:18:11.000 I'm sure they will be, but not if they tune into Chief Keef's house. 0.99

01:18:15.000 They're gonna find some crazy shit going on. 0.99

01:18:18.000 Really? 0.99

01:18:19.000 Yes.

01:18:19.000 So like with GPS, they could pinpoint a house and listen to that conversation?

01:18:24.000 No one's hiding.

01:18:24.000 That's my point.

01:18:26.000 They're closing in on everything, and you're gonna get to the point where there's no hiding.

01:18:31.000 It's like that Tom Cruise movie.

01:18:33.000 Minority Report?

01:18:34.000 Yeah.

01:18:35.000 Right?

01:18:36.000 When I saw that movie, it was like, oh, this is all definitely coming.

01:18:40.000 Right?

01:18:40.000 They were trading eyeballs because...

01:18:42.000 That was like future crime, right?

01:18:44.000 They'd catch you before you did something.

01:18:46.000 Right, right, right.

01:18:46.000 Before you did something.

01:18:48.000 Yeah.

01:18:49.000 It's coming.

01:18:50.000 Well, if you really believe in determinism...

01:18:52.000 If you could get a computer, you could devise a computer that's so powerful that it could accurately anticipate individual events crisscrossing and compiling together to create a specific result, and you knew they would force someone's hand to do something.

01:19:09.000 I mean...

01:19:10.000 It's not completely outside of the realm of possibility that one day, at least they could figure out a likelihood of things happening.

01:19:22.000 Right.

01:19:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:25.000 And then where are you going to run?

01:19:26.000 Bolivia?

01:19:27.000 You ain't going anywhere, bro.

01:19:28.000 Come on.

01:19:29.000 You could hide someplace.

01:19:30.000 Just keep walking into the ocean until you stop breathing.

01:19:33.000 I don't want to go to jail.

01:19:34.000 Like, what was it when you rat on the mafia and you got to go into a house in Arizona?

01:19:39.000 They did that for a while.

01:19:40.000 Was it relocation?

01:19:42.000 Yeah, witness relocation.

01:19:43.000 Yeah, witness protection.

01:19:45.000 Yeah, witness protection.

01:19:45.000 Right.

01:19:46.000 That worked, right?

01:19:47.000 We showed Sammy the Bold Gravano did that.

01:19:49.000 He's got a podcast now.

01:19:51.000 I don't think you're supposed to do that.

01:19:53.000 Yeah, he's third next to Hillary Clinton.

01:19:56.000 She's two. 0.99

01:19:56.000 Michelle Obama's number one. 0.99

01:19:59.000 Number one what?

01:20:01.000 On the ratings.

01:20:02.000 He should be...

01:20:03.000 On a podcast?

01:20:04.000 No, witness protection, you would think.

01:20:06.000 But he had, like, Tekashi69 just said, he's like, I'm coming out.

01:20:09.000 He ratted on people.

01:20:11.000 Yeah, but what is he doing?

01:20:12.000 Is he in witness protection at all?

01:20:15.000 Nope.

01:20:15.000 He's out in New York making music videos.

01:20:18.000 He's literally on the street corner passing out his CDs.

01:20:22.000 How come nobody's killed him?

01:20:24.000 I'll give him that.

01:20:25.000 But he's had to move his spot.

01:20:27.000 He's had houses where he got ratted on.

01:20:30.000 Sure.

01:20:31.000 Of course they're going to rat on him. 0.99

01:20:32.000 He's a rat. 1.00

01:20:33.000 You're a rat. 1.00

01:20:34.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:20:35.000 Very popular.

01:20:35.000 Yeah, but how long before he runs out of money?

01:20:38.000 It costs a lot of money to have that kind of security.

01:20:40.000 Keep making it.

01:20:42.000 Yeah, keep coming up with some new beats.

01:20:44.000 Yeah.

01:20:45.000 If you're going to get a face tattoo, what kind of tattoo would you get?

01:20:48.000 If I was to get a face tattoo, I would get, I don't know, a little booger right underneath my nose. 1.00

01:20:56.000 Be serious.

01:20:57.000 Maybe a tattooed tear?

01:20:58.000 Scare everybody off?

01:20:59.000 Pretend you killed people in prison? 0.73

01:20:59.000 Yeah, let people think I killed people. 0.73

01:21:00.000 No, then gang members would be like, no you didn't, and they'd come get me.

01:21:04.000 That's true.

01:21:05.000 Good call.

01:21:05.000 You don't want troubles.

01:21:07.000 Maybe it'll cause trouble.

01:21:08.000 I'm telling you, a little star on your cheek.

01:21:09.000 I like the star.

01:21:10.000 Right here.

01:21:11.000 Right in the upper cheekbone area.

01:21:12.000 Just a little tiny star.

01:21:14.000 What did Papa do?

01:21:15.000 Answer questions too.

01:21:16.000 Convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein to face new sex crimes charges. 0.96

01:21:20.000 Oh boy. 0.80

01:21:21.000 11 counts in California.

01:21:23.000 This is new news.

01:21:24.000 11 counts of sexual assault in the state of California where extradition proceedings have been put on hold due to the pandemic.

01:21:31.000 11 counts.

01:21:32.000 So he had three more counts, I guess, got added to him.

01:21:34.000 Three more counts of rape and other sexual crimes involving two women.

01:21:39.000 He's already serving 23 years, and he's got to put a suit on and go defend himself more?

01:21:44.000 Jeez Louise. 0.61

01:21:45.000 Do you think if he left a gun in his cell, he would just blow his brains out? 0.99

01:21:49.000 Yeah.

01:21:50.000 Because he doesn't think he's getting out at this point.

01:21:52.000 No.

01:21:52.000 These charges keep piling up.

01:21:54.000 God.

01:21:55.000 Is he in jail, jail?

01:21:57.000 Oh, he's in Rikers, bro.

01:21:59.000 He's in Rikers?

01:22:00.000 Yeah.

01:22:00.000 Yeah, he got COVID when he was in jail.

01:22:02.000 And they didn't send him home? 1.00

01:22:04.000 Fuck him. 1.00

01:22:05.000 To get healthy? 1.00

01:22:06.000 No.

01:22:06.000 He's not at Rikers, but he is in jail somewhere.

01:22:09.000 Wasn't he in Rikers, though, at one point?

01:22:10.000 Maybe before he got sent to the Wendy Correctional Facility, Max Security.

01:22:15.000 God.

01:22:16.000 In New York, near Buffalo.

01:22:17.000 Man, oh man.

01:22:19.000 Yeah.

01:22:20.000 And Cosby's in jail.

01:22:21.000 Yeah, but...

01:22:22.000 You ever remind yourself of that as you're going about through your day?

01:22:24.000 Bill Cosby.

01:22:25.000 Yeah.

01:22:26.000 That's such a...

01:22:27.000 He's only in jail for a short amount of time.

01:22:29.000 Is he?

01:22:29.000 Yeah, which is interesting.

01:22:31.000 He's only in jail for...

01:22:32.000 I believe he's in jail for one of those things that he did.

01:22:37.000 Uh-huh.

01:22:38.000 I believe.

01:22:39.000 For a short amount of time?

01:22:41.000 I don't think he's in jail for very long.

01:22:43.000 I think he's in jail for like 10 years or something.

01:22:45.000 Is that what it is?

01:22:45.000 It says 3 to 10 in state prison.

01:22:47.000 Yeah.

01:22:48.000 3 to 10, so he'll be...

01:22:49.000 So he could get out on parole and still be alive, but he's almost blind, too.

01:22:53.000 Next year would be parole.

01:22:54.000 He was in jail.

01:22:55.000 September 25th, 2018. Still won't admit he did anything.

01:22:59.000 God.

01:22:59.000 Hold strong.

01:23:00.000 Yeah.

01:23:00.000 Yeah, he seems insane.

01:23:02.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:23:03.000 He seems completely insane.

01:23:04.000 Like, he was out at a barbershop before they put him in, and I don't know if he was on parole or on appeal, not on parole, on bail or on appeal, but he was at a barbershop with these guys, and they made a video of it.

01:23:19.000 It's so strange.

01:23:21.000 Why?

01:23:21.000 Because he's acting as if nothing had happened.

01:23:23.000 Bill Cosby interviewed.

01:23:24.000 He expects to serve full 10-year sentence rather than say sorry.

01:23:29.000 Wow.

01:23:30.000 Jeez.

01:23:31.000 So he was just at the barbershop acting like he wasn't going?

01:23:34.000 He was holding court.

01:23:36.000 That's what he does. 0.99

01:23:37.000 Holding court at a barbershop, and they were talking about bands, like what guy was in what band, and they were talking trivia and shit. 0.97

01:23:45.000 He's probably doing the same thing in jail. 0.97

01:23:47.000 I wonder.

01:23:48.000 I bet he's got a lot of fans in jail.

01:23:52.000 I wonder how he's treated there, you know?

01:23:53.000 Yeah.

01:23:54.000 I'm sure he's telling funny stories.

01:23:55.000 That's him at the barber shop.

01:23:56.000 Play some of that.

01:23:58.000 Give me some volume.

01:23:58.000 The original.

01:23:59.000 The original!

01:24:00.000 Okay, so there's...

01:24:01.000 So he's got that sweater on that says, hello, friend.

01:24:04.000 He's talking jazz.

01:24:05.000 Yeah.

01:24:05.000 Yes.

01:24:06.000 There's Connie Kay on the drum.

01:24:07.000 That's Alonzo Broden's older brother.

01:24:09.000 No!

01:24:10.000 No.

01:24:11.000 Come on, tell me that guy doesn't look like Alonzo Broden's older brother.

01:24:14.000 Yeah.

01:24:15.000 Have you any money on you?

01:24:20.000 He wants to bet them. 1.00

01:24:22.000 They're talking shit. 1.00

01:24:23.000 Let's hear it for one kidney, John! 1.00

01:24:26.000 One kidney, John!

01:24:28.000 He's holding court.

01:24:30.000 He's talking about jazz musicians.

01:24:32.000 Who made this post?

01:24:34.000 That's Bill Cosby himself.

01:24:36.000 Bill Cosby hangs out to Marco's hair artistry.

01:24:40.000 And they have to put in quotes, barbershop.

01:24:42.000 In brackets.

01:24:45.000 Yesterday with friends.

01:24:47.000 January 21st, 2018. Look at his hashtags.

01:24:51.000 Go Eagles, Philadelphia.

01:24:53.000 Wow.

01:24:54.000 That's crazy.

01:24:55.000 That's weird.

01:24:56.000 Wow.

01:24:57.000 God, what a weird story.

01:24:59.000 Man, oh man.

01:25:00.000 So he thinks that it was just...

01:25:02.000 He was just with some ladies.

01:25:06.000 That's in his head.

01:25:09.000 Right?

01:25:10.000 Dude, when I was on news radio, we heard about him.

01:25:13.000 Yeah.

01:25:13.000 We had heard about him drugging people.

01:25:15.000 You did?

01:25:16.000 Yeah, it was a rumor.

01:25:17.000 It was always a rumor.

01:25:18.000 It was always a thing that people had heard.

01:25:20.000 They knew someone who knew someone.

01:25:22.000 They knew something.

01:25:23.000 It was always out there.

01:25:24.000 So when Hannibal Buress was on stage and he was talking about that, that was not something that was unknown.

01:25:30.000 No, I mean, he said in his set, right?

01:25:32.000 Just Google it.

01:25:32.000 Yeah.

01:25:33.000 And then that's what starts it all, which is just bananas.

01:25:37.000 One set that someone films on their phone, gets up on YouTube, and everybody's like, wait, what?

01:25:42.000 And everybody outside the industry...

01:25:45.000 Woke up.

01:25:46.000 Goes, Cosby?

01:25:47.000 Cosby?

01:25:48.000 Bill Cosby.

01:25:49.000 Like, the Cosby show.

01:25:50.000 Like, America's dad.

01:25:52.000 Right.

01:25:52.000 Like, the Jell-O pudding guy.

01:25:54.000 That guy.

01:25:55.000 The adorable guy.

01:25:56.000 Ugh.

01:25:57.000 So awful.

01:25:58.000 I wish you could read a person's mind.

01:26:00.000 2014. Yeah.

01:26:01.000 When that happened.

01:26:02.000 With Hannibal?

01:26:03.000 Yeah.

01:26:03.000 Ooh.

01:26:04.000 I wish you could read a person's mind.

01:26:06.000 Yeah.

01:26:06.000 Like, I really want to know.

01:26:09.000 I want to know.

01:26:09.000 Sounds like those satellites are going to do it.

01:26:11.000 We're going to hear your mind.

01:26:12.000 We're going to hear your words.

01:26:13.000 Yeah.

01:26:14.000 But I don't think we're too many decades away from being able to actually read your mind.

01:26:18.000 You think?

01:26:18.000 Someone was convicted of a crime in India back in the day, and we covered this when I did that Joe Rogan Questions Everything show, because of fMRI.

01:26:28.000 FMRI is functional magnetic imagery, and I think that's the right terms.

01:26:33.000 But basically, it's reading the mind and reading patterns that And they decided that this person, I think it might have been a woman, was convicted of a crime because they had functional knowledge of the crime scene.

01:26:51.000 Now, this was in another country, I believe it was in India, and I talked to a neuroscientist in America, and they said, you would never accept this in America because functional knowledge of a crime scene could be obtained by just examining evidence.

01:27:08.000 If someone charged you with a murder, said, Tom, I know you killed that guy, and you're like, what?

01:27:12.000 And then they show you the photos, you would have access to the information.

01:27:16.000 And if you had that in your head, thinking, oh my god, someone killed this person, and now they're blaming it on me, how could they think I did it?

01:27:23.000 And you could possibly have functional knowledge of where it happened and what happened, just based on someone describing to you what you've been charged with.

01:27:31.000 How do you find out if someone has functional knowledge?

01:27:33.000 They don't really know.

01:27:34.000 In Italy, people were charged that were seismologists because they didn't warn people in time for an earthquake that took place.

01:27:47.000 Right?

01:27:48.000 Yeah, because they're Italians. 0.93

01:27:52.000 Hey! 0.99

01:27:53.000 They don't know.

01:27:53.000 They don't know no better.

01:27:55.000 So they charge people.

01:27:56.000 Now, in America, you could never charge a size model.

01:27:59.000 I believe that's true.

01:28:00.000 See if that's true. 0.99

01:28:01.000 If that was in Italy, I'm asking you to Google a lot of shit that may or may not be real. 1.00

01:28:05.000 It seems like so early, like other century, like, she's a witch! 0.99

01:28:10.000 Yeah, it does seem like that.

01:28:12.000 That's why it rains! 1.00

01:28:13.000 She's a witch! 1.00

01:28:14.000 And actual seismologists and scientists all over the world were aghast. 1.00

01:28:19.000 You can't fucking charge people with not warning you about something that's utterly unpredictable.

01:28:26.000 Italian seismologists cleared of manslaughter. 0.98

01:28:28.000 Okay, so they were charged.

01:28:29.000 They came to their senses.

01:28:30.000 Six scientists did not cause deaths in 2009. But what's crazy is that that actually went to court.

01:28:36.000 So these poor guys had to defend themselves in court.

01:28:39.000 That they should have known that this earthquake was coming.

01:28:42.000 That is old world, isn't it?

01:28:44.000 That's very old world.

01:28:45.000 Hey, I'm here to eat on my spaghetti! 1.00

01:28:47.000 The fucking earth starts moving! 1.00

01:28:48.000 The earthquake! 1.00

01:28:49.000 That guy's got a Geiger counter!

01:28:49.000 How much I pay that guy?

01:28:51.000 How much I pay him?

01:28:52.000 Who's the guy with the Geiger counter?

01:28:54.000 What is it?

01:28:54.000 Get him!

01:28:55.000 How come he don't know?

01:28:56.000 We're both Italian.

01:28:57.000 We can get away with talking like this.

01:28:58.000 He should have told me!

01:29:00.000 Do you know I look like a famous Italian film star?

01:29:06.000 Who?

01:29:08.000 Carlo Verdone.

01:29:09.000 How much do you look like?

01:29:10.000 Could you go over there?

01:29:11.000 I got into a taxi cab in Rome and this kid fell out.

01:29:15.000 It's like 22 year old kid was just like...

01:29:18.000 Verdone's in my cab!

01:29:21.000 Verdone's in my cab!

01:29:22.000 And he called his family.

01:29:24.000 Oh my god.

01:29:25.000 He made me get on the phone with him.

01:29:26.000 Oh my god.

01:29:28.000 That's pretty close, right?

01:29:30.000 What do you think?

01:29:31.000 I think it's insulting. 0.98

01:29:31.000 You should be mad. 0.98

01:29:33.000 That guy looks like he's 10 years older than you and he's gonna die tomorrow. 0.99

01:29:36.000 Well, he is older.

01:29:37.000 But he's, like, he's... 1.00

01:29:38.000 He's a fucking Fatone! 1.00

01:29:40.000 He's one of the comedic actors. 1.00

01:29:42.000 Make that face. 1.00

01:29:44.000 Oh, he's doing...

01:29:45.000 Oh! 0.60

01:29:46.000 Hey! 1.00

01:29:47.000 What's in the bowl, bitch? 1.00

01:29:51.000 That one's pretty close. 1.00

01:29:53.000 That's pretty close.

01:29:54.000 That's pretty close.

01:29:55.000 Give me a smile with your lips closed.

01:29:57.000 Ooh, wow.

01:29:59.000 Is it close?

01:30:00.000 Very, very.

01:30:01.000 This kid lost his mind.

01:30:02.000 He's like, Verdoni's in my...

01:30:03.000 It took me the whole ride to convince him I wasn't Verdoni.

01:30:05.000 If someone didn't have a phone on them where they couldn't Google the actual Verdoni, you could probably pull it off.

01:30:10.000 Right, right.

01:30:11.000 I bet.

01:30:13.000 I'm gonna go find him.

01:30:14.000 I like that one with the pointing at you, the glasses, like he's a badass.

01:30:18.000 Yeah, that's me and my sunglasses.

01:30:19.000 That's you, bro.

01:30:26.000 That's you, bro.

01:30:27.000 I wish I spoke Italian.

01:30:28.000 Well, you can learn.

01:30:29.000 It's not that hard. 1.00

01:30:30.000 It's not like you'd want to breathe underwater, the lazy fuck. 1.00

01:30:34.000 Jesus. 1.00

01:30:37.000 Get a nap.

01:30:38.000 I wish.

01:30:39.000 I wish I could do something that I don't do right now that other people do easily.

01:30:46.000 I just don't have the energy.

01:30:48.000 No, I don't think my brain can handle it.

01:30:49.000 You think you can learn a whole language right now?

01:30:51.000 Of course I could.

01:30:52.000 No way.

01:30:53.000 Of course I could.

01:30:54.000 I don't want to, but of course I could.

01:30:56.000 While you're living your life here, not going over to Italy and...

01:30:59.000 Yes, you could.

01:31:00.000 It would just require a lot of time.

01:31:02.000 There would have to be a real reason for you to do it.

01:31:05.000 Right. 1.00

01:31:06.000 Look, if I had a wife and she was Italian and she was talking a lot of shit. 1.00

01:31:11.000 The way you said it, though, you don't need to learn the whole language. 0.99

01:31:14.000 We don't know the whole English language.

01:31:16.000 We know a good portion of it and how to talk with it, but we don't know the whole thing.

01:31:21.000 Talk with it.

01:31:24.000 Apparently Russian is a really hard one to learn.

01:31:27.000 I took that in freshman year in college.

01:31:30.000 It's not as hard as you think.

01:31:31.000 But what about the writing?

01:31:32.000 No, they just have a little, a couple blocky letters.

01:31:35.000 But, uh, it's not as complicated.

01:31:40.000 Yeah, there's something about it that's...

01:31:42.000 They say that English is much harder than... 1.00

01:31:44.000 No shit. 1.00

01:31:45.000 Russian, yeah. 1.00

01:31:46.000 Learning it the other way is really a bit...

01:31:47.000 That's interesting.

01:31:48.000 So Russians have a hard time learning English.

01:31:50.000 English can learn Russian better.

01:31:52.000 Right, right.

01:31:54.000 I only took it for a semester, and the guy let you take the test as many times as you needed to pass.

01:31:58.000 Really?

01:31:59.000 But it wasn't that mind-blowing, yeah.

01:32:01.000 Really?

01:32:02.000 I would think just the language itself, the written language would be really hard.

01:32:05.000 It's really cool. 0.93

01:32:06.000 It's fucking cool looking. 0.93

01:32:07.000 Yeah, it is really cool. 0.99

01:32:09.000 My daughter is studying Italian in college.

01:32:13.000 Yeah?

01:32:13.000 And it's like every day you have to take it, five days a week.

01:32:18.000 It's pretty immersive.

01:32:19.000 That's how you learn it.

01:32:21.000 Yeah, that's the move, right?

01:32:22.000 If you go to an immersion school and you have to teach... 0.53

01:32:24.000 They teach every class in the language.

01:32:27.000 They don't speak any English to you.

01:32:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:30.000 Or go live in Rome, pretend you're Verdone.

01:32:32.000 Fitzsimmons kids went to a Spanish immersion school.

01:32:35.000 Oh, yeah?

01:32:36.000 Yeah.

01:32:37.000 And they learned it.

01:32:38.000 Yeah, you just learn.

01:32:39.000 I know.

01:32:40.000 You speak Spanish every day.

01:32:40.000 You have to do it all the time.

01:32:41.000 It's just that thing.

01:32:43.000 That's so funny.

01:32:45.000 I wish I could learn something that other people know that I could learn.

01:32:52.000 It is lazy.

01:32:53.000 It's not lazy.

01:32:55.000 Well, listen.

01:32:56.000 I'm busy.

01:32:56.000 You could do it.

01:32:57.000 I have a lot of stuff going on.

01:32:58.000 It would require many hours a day, many days in a row, probably for years before you got adept at it.

01:33:05.000 Yeah.

01:33:05.000 And it could be done.

01:33:07.000 How long until I could get by on a trip?

01:33:11.000 I don't know.

01:33:12.000 I can't speak another language.

01:33:14.000 I have no idea.

01:33:16.000 There's always Rosetta Stone commercials.

01:33:18.000 They promise you can get fairly good at it in like 90 days or something.

01:33:22.000 But I think you have to put a lot of time into it.

01:33:24.000 It's like anything else.

01:33:26.000 I think you're better off being retired.

01:33:27.000 But isn't there a thing with the brain that if you learn it when you're like 14, it's much easier than when you're 50?

01:33:34.000 I think it's younger.

01:33:35.000 I think it's really young.

01:33:37.000 When you're really young, kids...

01:33:38.000 I mean, think about how quick kids speak English.

01:33:41.000 My daughter, one of my daughters, was speaking really young.

01:33:46.000 She was at one years old.

01:33:47.000 She was speaking in full sentences.

01:33:49.000 It was really weird.

01:33:51.000 Like, she's really smart.

01:33:52.000 Yeah.

01:33:53.000 But at one years old, she would ask me questions.

01:33:54.000 Daddy, what is this?

01:33:55.000 And why is that?

01:33:56.000 Right, right.

01:33:57.000 One.

01:33:58.000 One.

01:33:58.000 Imagine you speaking full Italian in one year.

01:34:01.000 Yeah.

01:34:01.000 That'd be crazy.

01:34:02.000 That would be crazy.

01:34:03.000 Man, that would be fun, though.

01:34:04.000 Yeah.

01:34:05.000 I just want to be able to handle myself in a restaurant.

01:34:07.000 Yeah.

01:34:08.000 Like really well.

01:34:09.000 Be able to talk about the wine.

01:34:11.000 Well, Google has these earbuds that will translate languages in real time.

01:34:18.000 Oh yeah?

01:34:18.000 Yeah.

01:34:19.000 So with this Google app, someone can talk to you as long as they speak clearly, like clear enough for it to transcribe.

01:34:27.000 Really?

01:34:27.000 They will be able to say it back to you in real time.

01:34:31.000 Yeah.

01:34:31.000 Will be able to or can?

01:34:32.000 No, Ken, I'm pretty sure it's the Pixel Buds, Pixel Earbuds.

01:34:38.000 See if that's...

01:34:39.000 That's pretty cool.

01:34:40.000 That's true, yeah.

01:34:42.000 That's really great.

01:34:42.000 You know, it's interesting, right?

01:34:44.000 There's arguments for both Android and Apple.

01:34:47.000 And one of the arguments for Apple, or one of the arguments for Android, rather, see what it is, where it is.

01:34:54.000 Then say, help me speak Spanish.

01:34:57.000 To launch conversation mode on the Translate app.

01:35:00.000 When you're ready to speak to someone in another language, press and hold the earbud and speak in your native language.

01:35:07.000 Good afternoon.

01:35:08.000 What are the menu specials today?

01:35:11.000 Oh, the phone takes it over for you.

01:35:17.000 Check this out.

01:35:18.000 When the person responds, the translated message will play directly into your Pixel Buds.

01:35:27.000 To learn more, visit the Google Pixel Buds Help Center.

01:35:29.000 That ain't working.

01:35:31.000 He talks and...

01:35:32.000 It's enough for you to make a drug transaction.

01:35:36.000 I'm here to get a marijuana.

01:35:39.000 Cocaine.

01:35:41.000 Cocaine.

01:35:42.000 There is not one time when I transcribe just in my English to my text where it nails it.

01:35:49.000 Well, Google is better.

01:35:51.000 Yeah?

01:35:51.000 They're much better at it.

01:35:52.000 Yeah.

01:35:52.000 And I use...

01:35:55.000 I have an Apple phone and I have an Android phone.

01:35:57.000 Oh, you do?

01:35:58.000 My Apple phone is my primary phone. 0.97

01:36:00.000 And I use my Android phone more to fuck around with than anything, but I'm fucking around with a few things on it. 0.93

01:36:05.000 And one of the things is how well it picks up your voice and how well it transcribes it. 0.98

01:36:11.000 So here's the argument.

01:36:12.000 Right.

01:36:13.000 Apple is much better with your privacy.

01:36:15.000 They're much better with your privacy.

01:36:16.000 Like when you use Apple Maps, it's not sending your data to anyone.

01:36:20.000 Right.

01:36:21.000 But it's one of the reasons why Apple Maps is not as good.

01:36:24.000 Right.

01:36:24.000 Google Maps are better.

01:36:26.000 Because they're sharing it.

01:36:27.000 It's just better.

01:36:28.000 They're getting data constantly from you.

01:36:31.000 They're getting data from all the other drivers.

01:36:33.000 They're sharing that data.

01:36:35.000 They're compiling that data.

01:36:37.000 And they're also sending ads your way to profit off of this to make it profitable.

01:36:41.000 So because of that, because Google is just sucking up data constantly, they can provide you with better services.

01:36:50.000 So they have an amazing search engine.

01:36:53.000 But that was one of the things about the social dilemma.

01:36:55.000 The search engine gives different results based on where you are.

01:37:00.000 Like say if you type, they use an example, climate change.

01:37:03.000 Like if you write, climate change is, it might say, a hoax.

01:37:07.000 Or climate change is a terrible threat.

01:37:11.000 Depending on where you live.

01:37:12.000 Just where you are?

01:37:13.000 Right.

01:37:14.000 It might give you one thing, but if you live in Waco, Texas, it might give you another thing.

01:37:18.000 Wow.

01:37:18.000 Yeah, and it's based on what it thinks you want to see.

01:37:22.000 That's crazy.

01:37:23.000 It's not good.

01:37:24.000 That's not good. 0.99

01:37:24.000 It's just reinforcing people's dumb ideas. 0.99

01:37:27.000 That's why I use DuckDuckGo. 0.87

01:37:29.000 DuckDuckGo does not do any of that stuff.

01:37:31.000 And it also, it gives you things, it doesn't send your data somewhere.

01:37:37.000 It protects your privacy.

01:37:39.000 So you put climate change is on DuckDuckGo. 0.99

01:37:41.000 No, I put chicks with dicks. 1.00

01:37:43.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:37:43.000 And then no one knows. 1.00

01:37:44.000 No one knows.

01:37:45.000 I got a burner phone with DuckDuckGo on it.

01:37:48.000 You put whatever you want.

01:37:50.000 The results are not curated.

01:37:53.000 Right.

01:37:53.000 So it's just giving you the most applicable results for the things that you're looking for.

01:37:58.000 But it's not doing it in a way where it's curating it for your own interest.

01:38:02.000 If you try to find things that are controversial, and we've tried to find that on the podcast before, Where Jamie will Google something and I'll know it to be correct, but Google will not show that it's correct because maybe the correct answer is not politically correct.

01:38:16.000 So you have to go through several pages and maybe you even have to Google it in a very specific way to get to the heart of the science behind what's wrong with the consensus opinion.

01:38:27.000 The consensus opinion might be wrong.

01:38:29.000 That's the case with a lot of nutrition things.

01:38:31.000 It's the case with a lot of things regarding anything controversial, anything where there's a political motive to sway the argument one way or the other.

01:38:41.000 It's so amazing how deep you have to dive, to cross-reference stuff, to really try and assemble a truthful opinion.

01:38:49.000 It's so hard.

01:38:51.000 So with all this stuff, and you have all these people from Twitter and Google and stuff who are saying what we did or Facebook.

01:39:07.000 I don't know if you can put the cap on the bottle.

01:39:11.000 I don't know if you can do that.

01:39:13.000 I don't know if you can do that.

01:39:15.000 I don't know if they know it either, because they didn't think it was going to happen in the first time.

01:39:19.000 Jack Dorsey was testifying, I think it was before Congress, and he was saying that 12 years ago when we created Twitter, we had no idea that this was going to be a situation that we hadn't anticipated.

01:39:33.000 No one ever saw this coming.

01:39:34.000 And if you go back and see the early Twitter, remember you would do the at, it would always show your name in front of every tweet.

01:39:43.000 So it'd be like, at Tom Papa is having pizza.

01:39:46.000 You would say what you were doing.

01:39:47.000 It was really weird how people would use Twitter.

01:39:51.000 But it was not political.

01:39:54.000 It was just fun.

01:39:57.000 No one knew what to do with it.

01:39:59.000 And then somewhere along the line, people started figuring out how to get in arguments.

01:40:02.000 I know, it's so bad.

01:40:04.000 We just always ruin everything.

01:40:06.000 It could be so great.

01:40:07.000 I remember when it first came out, it was like, wow, there would probably never have been slavery if there had been Twitter, because people would have exposed it so early, and it just seems so hopeful.

01:40:17.000 But of course, all the scummy people get it, and then just...

01:40:20.000 We're going to ruin it.

01:40:21.000 It makes people scummy, too, because it makes people more polarized.

01:40:26.000 It makes people more aggressive in reinforcing their idea of what the truth is and trying to stop other people.

01:40:34.000 And you're seeing so much suppression of other people's opinions and expression today, which is so strange.

01:40:41.000 Yeah.

01:40:42.000 It's one of the weirdest times ever to look at the way human beings communicate.

01:40:47.000 Because of the tension.

01:40:48.000 We were talking about this earlier.

01:40:49.000 We never really finished the thought.

01:40:50.000 But you've got Trump.

01:40:52.000 Then you've got the pandemic.

01:40:53.000 Then you've got the economic collapse.

01:40:55.000 You have all these things happening.

01:40:56.000 So people are...

01:40:57.000 They're desperate, they're sad, and then you've got looting, and you've got the riots, and so you get racial tension, you've got violence, you've got this anti-police sentiment, which also leads to more instability in the streets, more instability in the cities, and less safety, and fear.

01:41:13.000 A lot of anxiety.

01:41:14.000 Fear of police, fear of gangs, fear of Antifa, fear of white supremacists, fear of everything. 1.00

01:41:23.000 It's like all this fucking... 1.00

01:41:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:25.000 And then you have people arguing online, really, literally addicted people.

01:41:32.000 People who are addicts.

01:41:33.000 Right, exactly. 0.94

01:41:33.000 They're just as addicted as people who are gambling addicts, just as addicted to people that are sex addicts. 0.94

01:41:38.000 They're addicted to Twitter. 0.97

01:41:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:40.000 And they're mentally ill people, and they're constantly engaging in conflict. 1.00

01:41:45.000 Right. 0.99

01:41:46.000 And they're coming up on people's posts, and you don't know that you're interacting with mentally ill people. 0.97

01:41:50.000 Yeah.

01:41:50.000 Or people from other countries that are trying to incite it.

01:41:53.000 Assume you're interacting with mentally unwell people because almost everyone who's using it in that way is in one way or another mentally ill.

01:42:03.000 Or you put your phone in the drawer and you go to the park and all of a sudden everything calms down.

01:42:10.000 And then there's no cops because you wanted to defund the police.

01:42:14.000 Everything calms down and goes away because you're not living in this weird reality.

01:42:21.000 You're just living in real life and you're not participating in all of that.

01:42:26.000 That's what we'd all hope for.

01:42:28.000 The problem is there's so many people that are doing it.

01:42:31.000 Whether they're doing it on Facebook or Twitter or arguing, whatever things they're arguing about, it's spilling out into the real world.

01:42:38.000 Right.

01:42:39.000 You're in the park being all zen and all of a sudden a flash mob shows up that organized on Twitter and you're like, what the hell is happening here?

01:42:45.000 I was just all zen a minute ago.

01:42:48.000 So one thing that I wanted to bring up, we talked about before the podcast, that I actually read a whole article about.

01:42:53.000 We were talking about on the podcast whether or not Chris Cuomo was really lifting a 100-pound barbell.

01:42:59.000 Now, I had completely forgot we even talked about this until I stumbled upon an article online about it.

01:43:06.000 And in the article, it actually referenced us talking about it on the podcast.

01:43:11.000 Right.

01:43:12.000 He wasn't. 0.98

01:43:14.000 They think I'm quite stupid for believing that Chris Cuomo really had this 100-pound dumbbell that he was lifting up. 0.96

01:43:24.000 It looked very light. 0.99

01:43:25.000 It did look very light.

01:43:26.000 So my thought was, how big is Chris Cuomo?

01:43:29.000 Ah, that's a good point.

01:43:30.000 I thought he was bigger than he is.

01:43:32.000 So I googled it.

01:43:34.000 He's only 182 pounds, which says he's 6'2", 182 pounds.

01:43:40.000 I don't know if that's accurate.

01:43:42.000 That's, yeah.

01:43:43.000 6'2", 180?

01:43:45.000 He doesn't look that lean.

01:43:47.000 He could be a thin guy.

01:43:48.000 He doesn't look that lean.

01:43:49.000 But anyway, that makes him 20 pounds lighter than me.

01:43:52.000 Okay.

01:43:53.000 So very unlikely that he's carrying that dumbbell like that.

01:43:57.000 So then I'm like, okay.

01:43:58.000 I gotta ask some people who would actually know.

01:44:01.000 So I sought out some people online, and one of them was Rob Kearney.

01:44:08.000 He's been on the podcast before.

01:44:09.000 He's World's Strongest Gay.

01:44:12.000 Oh yeah, I know that guy.

01:44:13.000 He's awesome.

01:44:13.000 I follow him.

01:44:14.000 Love that dude.

01:44:15.000 And I think he won recently a pound-for-pound strongman title.

01:44:21.000 I believe it.

01:44:22.000 Because he's not a big guy.

01:44:23.000 He's a tank.

01:44:24.000 He's a tank. 1.00

01:44:25.000 But he's only about 5'10", maybe, but fucking gorilla strong. 0.99

01:44:31.000 So he says to me, so I say to him, have you ever seen the thing? 0.99

01:44:37.000 And he says, I just watched a video.

01:44:39.000 I think it's fake, LOL. He doesn't look to be bracing hard enough for it to be actually 100 pounds.

01:44:46.000 Good point.

01:44:46.000 He is kind of wishy-washy in his seat.

01:44:49.000 He's a real expert, right?

01:44:51.000 So he's an actual strong man.

01:44:52.000 So I'm pretty convinced.

01:44:55.000 So then I asked Robert Oberst, who's also... 0.99

01:44:59.000 Robert is fucking enormous. 0.97

01:45:01.000 Absolutely one of the strongest men in the world. 0.99

01:45:03.000 He's a Goliath.

01:45:05.000 You sit next to him, 300 plus pounds.

01:45:07.000 So he says, the picture looks possible because his elbow's up and stable, but the video where he's at his desk showing the weight off, he moves it around out at an angle that would be the smallest head of the top of the bicep taking all the weight,

01:45:23.000 and it doesn't even faze him.

01:45:25.000 He said, if it's real, he's stronger than anyone I've ever seen use a dumbbell.

01:45:30.000 Wow.

01:45:31.000 I'd say it's a 40 pound weight with 100 pounds written on it.

01:45:36.000 He said lots of insta-famous lifters have fake dumbbells and plates.

01:45:40.000 Ah, interesting. 0.98

01:45:42.000 So two experts, Rob Kearney and Robert Oberst, both of them call bullshit, so I defer to them. 0.98

01:45:49.000 Wow, it does. 0.96

01:45:50.000 When he's sitting in the chair at the desk there, it looks very light.

01:45:53.000 When I saw he's 182 pounds, that might not be true.

01:45:56.000 Because I bet if you Google what my weight is, they probably don't know what my weight is either.

01:45:59.000 100 pounds is a lot.

01:46:01.000 But 182 pounds for a man who's 6'2 is not a gorilla.

01:46:05.000 Like Brendan Schaub.

01:46:06.000 Okay, if Brendan Schaub was doing that, I'd go, I bet he could do that.

01:46:10.000 Brendan Schaub is 270 pounds, 260 plus pounds.

01:46:14.000 Yeah.

01:46:15.000 He's huge.

01:46:16.000 He's huge.

01:46:16.000 Yeah.

01:46:17.000 But even then, it just seems light.

01:46:19.000 It seems like it wiggles.

01:46:21.000 Yeah.

01:46:22.000 I obviously didn't look at it close enough.

01:46:24.000 Also, I'm not a lifter in that sense.

01:46:27.000 I don't lift heavy weights. 0.97

01:46:29.000 The heaviest shit I ever lift is I might squat a couple of hundred pounds for reps, but most of the shit I do is kettlebells. 0.98

01:46:36.000 So I'm doing the heaviest ones I do are like 90 pounds. 0.99

01:46:40.000 And that's rare.

01:46:41.000 Usually I use a 70-pound kettlebell or a 50-pound kettlebell, depending upon the exercise.

01:46:47.000 They're not heavy.

01:46:47.000 I'm doing functional movements that use your full body.

01:46:51.000 So I'm not in that lifting world.

01:46:53.000 But if you wanted to talk to like...

01:46:54.000 You'd have to talk to like C.T. Fletcher.

01:46:57.000 You'd have to talk to like those power lifter dudes who really understand.

01:47:01.000 Those are the ones that so...

01:47:02.000 It's a little uncomfortable that I'm sitting right in front of you and I'm not in the list of people that you're asking.

01:47:07.000 Because on my Peloton, there are three and a half pound weights that sit on the back of the seat.

01:47:11.000 And once in a while, you have to take those out and curl them.

01:47:15.000 Sometimes two in one hand, mind you.

01:47:18.000 And it is quite a workout.

01:47:20.000 Okay, so he's 200 pounds.

01:47:21.000 He says he went from 218 pounds to a pretty lean 200 pounds. 0.90

01:47:25.000 He said he cut out a bunch of bullshit, cut dairy and bad sugar, 2014 cut back booze. 0.69

01:47:33.000 So he's 200 pounds. 0.99

01:47:35.000 His body fat plummeted to 12%.

01:47:37.000 Okay.

01:47:39.000 Well, he's pretty dialed in on his stuff, though.

01:47:42.000 Right, but he's taller than me, and he's my weight.

01:47:48.000 There's no way he's handling that weight like that.

01:47:50.000 I can't handle that weight like that.

01:47:52.000 Can we see the video? 1.00

01:47:53.000 I'm fucking jacked, son. 0.99

01:47:55.000 Oh man, I wish I didn't have my jacket on. 1.00

01:47:57.000 I would be showing you my biceps.

01:47:58.000 Show me what's up.

01:47:59.000 Roy Jones Jr. flexed his arm in that chair.

01:48:02.000 He has two of mine.

01:48:04.000 Does he really?

01:48:04.000 On his left.

01:48:05.000 It's crazy.

01:48:06.000 His left arm is so much bigger than his right because he's got probably one of the best left hooks.

01:48:11.000 Not probably.

01:48:12.000 One of the best left hooks a human being's ever thrown.

01:48:14.000 Oh my god.

01:48:15.000 So his left bicep is gigantic.

01:48:17.000 It's so much bigger than his right.

01:48:19.000 He was joking around about it.

01:48:20.000 But when he flexed, you're like, Jesus!

01:48:22.000 Good lord.

01:48:23.000 Just like an alien head in there.

01:48:26.000 Yeah, see, there it is.

01:48:28.000 He does have shoulders.

01:48:30.000 Yeah.

01:48:30.000 Well, that move, when he does that.

01:48:32.000 Well, that's kind of braced.

01:48:35.000 It's 100 pounds, that's so heavy.

01:48:37.000 100 pounds is so heavy.

01:48:39.000 This is where I'm less...

01:48:41.000 Go back to that.

01:48:42.000 When he's doing the little hammer curls, this is where I'm less likely to believe.

01:48:46.000 This one right here, when he's doing that.

01:48:49.000 He's not even straining.

01:48:50.000 There's no strain at all in his back.

01:48:53.000 Everything looks too light.

01:48:55.000 Yeah, it just doesn't... 0.98

01:48:56.000 Look, again, I don't know shit. 0.97

01:48:58.000 This is not my world. 0.99

01:49:00.000 I could show you a video of a guy like Bradley Martin, that dude off YouTube, doing 120-pound dumbbells.

01:49:06.000 He's struggling with those.

01:49:08.000 Right, of course.

01:49:10.000 And Bradley, he's a giant.

01:49:13.000 Who is?

01:49:14.000 Bradley Martin.

01:49:15.000 Show Bradley Martin.

01:49:16.000 Yeah, let me see Bradley Martin. 0.99

01:49:17.000 Bradley Martin takes girls, he puts like weights on bars, and then has girls hang on the bars, and he fucking presses them. 0.98

01:49:23.000 I love that movie. 0.99

01:49:24.000 He's enormous.

01:49:24.000 He's a YouTube famous lifter.

01:49:27.000 Right.

01:49:27.000 But all completely, look at this, he's cleaning and pressing a girl.

01:49:32.000 But the dude is like 6'3", 6'4", 270, easy.

01:49:38.000 Oh my god.

01:49:38.000 Enormous.

01:49:39.000 He's a huge man.

01:49:41.000 He's a huge, legitimately huge man.

01:49:44.000 Yeah, he's gigantic.

01:49:45.000 So he's struggling.

01:49:46.000 There's a video of him on there with 100 pound dumbbells?

01:49:49.000 Look at that bar bending. 0.88

01:49:50.000 Look at that when he's doing deadlifts.

01:49:52.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:49:52.000 Besides this motherfucker. 1.00

01:49:54.000 So much weight on the bar. 1.00

01:49:55.000 But you look at him and you go, oh, okay. 1.00

01:49:58.000 Oh, that shit's real as fuck. 1.00

01:50:00.000 As people always say, it's fake. 1.00

01:50:01.000 Look at the bar bending!

01:50:03.000 This guy doesn't have to fake anything.

01:50:04.000 Listen, there ain't no faking going on right there.

01:50:06.000 That's...

01:50:06.000 You look at the way that weight is moving.

01:50:08.000 When you see the size of him, too, he's...

01:50:10.000 It all makes sense.

01:50:12.000 But his tricep doesn't wiggle when he points at something like Mike.

01:50:18.000 But it's nice that I could ask, like, everybody's, you know, you wonder about stuff like that, and you look at them doing that like, is that real?

01:50:25.000 And then you ask experts, and the experts are like, uh-uh.

01:50:28.000 That is pretty great. 1.00

01:50:29.000 Like, Oberst and Rob Canning, those motherfuckers know. 0.99

01:50:32.000 Yeah, that's pretty badass. 0.99

01:50:34.000 Yeah.

01:50:34.000 But what kind of a person would fake a weight?

01:50:36.000 Do you think people give him fake weights? 1.00

01:50:38.000 Imagine if they wanted you to look like a moron. 1.00

01:50:40.000 Like, hey, move this weight around. 1.00

01:50:42.000 You're like, what is that, 100 pounds?

01:50:43.000 You're like, hey, take a video of this.

01:50:44.000 Show everybody how strong I am.

01:50:45.000 His assistant was trying to get brownie points.

01:50:47.000 Maybe he doesn't even know.

01:50:48.000 Maybe he doesn't know.

01:50:49.000 Maybe he doesn't know.

01:50:52.000 Can you imagine?

01:50:53.000 His assistants are just doing it to make him feel good.

01:50:56.000 There was a guy who was a royal guy or something, but he would play pool with guys.

01:51:06.000 And they would pay the guys to lose.

01:51:09.000 And so this guy would enter into pool tournaments.

01:51:12.000 And he was okay.

01:51:15.000 He was a decent player, but guys would blow shots on purpose.

01:51:18.000 You could tell.

01:51:20.000 Someone had paid them off.

01:51:21.000 He's just walking around thinking like Kim Jong-il. 1.00

01:51:23.000 He thought he was the shit. 1.00

01:51:24.000 He's the world greatest basketball player. 1.00

01:51:27.000 Odd.

01:51:28.000 Odd, man.

01:51:29.000 So weird.

01:51:30.000 But apparently, this is one of the things that Rob Kearney was telling me is that there is a whole culture.

01:51:35.000 I'll pull up the dude's name.

01:51:36.000 There's a whole culture of people online who do this with fake weights.

01:51:41.000 And that's probably why he was talking about that.

01:51:45.000 Right.

01:51:45.000 Yeah.

01:51:46.000 Like fake followers and fake weights and people just trying to get some cred online.

01:51:50.000 So this is the guy, Brad Castleberry.

01:51:53.000 Okay.

01:51:53.000 I know who that is.

01:51:54.000 I follow him.

01:51:54.000 I know who he is.

01:51:55.000 I've seen him get called out for the fake weight thing.

01:51:57.000 Yes.

01:51:57.000 Oh, really?

01:51:58.000 Because he's a monster as well. 0.98

01:52:00.000 Right. 0.97

01:52:01.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:52:01.000 He's a monster as well. 0.99

01:52:03.000 He's a monster and he's still... 0.99

01:52:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:52:04.000 He's huge. 0.99

01:52:05.000 Jeez, look at those legs. 1.00

01:52:07.000 Yes.

01:52:08.000 But apparently people have asked him to do...

01:52:10.000 Now, this is according to my friends in the powerlifting world.

01:52:14.000 Apparently people have asked him to show up at meets and do this stuff.

01:52:19.000 Why am I seeing his butt cheeks?

01:52:21.000 He's in his underpants. 0.94

01:52:22.000 Not comfortable with that.

01:52:23.000 Why is he in his underpants?

01:52:24.000 So not necessary.

01:52:25.000 So not necessary for him to show that while he's squatting. 0.96

01:52:28.000 World's strongest almost gay. 0.99

01:52:31.000 World's strongest curious.

01:52:33.000 Rob needs to show him the way.

01:52:35.000 Rob's a married man. 0.98

01:52:35.000 He's not interested in your butt cheeks, sir. 0.98

01:52:37.000 Put him back. 0.97

01:52:38.000 Put him away.

01:52:40.000 That's a real problem in that world, apparently, is people fake weights, which is real weird. 1.00

01:52:45.000 People are so shitty. 0.99

01:52:47.000 They fake everything. 1.00

01:52:48.000 They fake how many followers they have, they fake how much weights they've got.

01:52:52.000 Yeah, I know someone with fake followers.

01:52:55.000 This is him lifting?

01:52:57.000 I think so.

01:52:58.000 How to spot fake weights.

01:53:00.000 How can they spot it?

01:53:01.000 What are they saying?

01:53:04.000 How do you know that's fake?

01:53:05.000 I guess they're saying how he held it.

01:53:07.000 I don't know.

01:53:09.000 I know the power lifters get deep into this too because of what you're saying.

01:53:13.000 So what do you think they do?

01:53:14.000 They put like one fake one, one real one, one fake one, one real one, like stack them or something like that?

01:53:21.000 Yeah, right.

01:53:21.000 They want some resistance.

01:53:22.000 And here's the other question.

01:53:23.000 That looks like a public gym.

01:53:24.000 So how are you getting them fake weights into that gym?

01:53:27.000 You're not...

01:53:28.000 That's the thing.

01:53:29.000 I've followed him online for a while, yeah.

01:53:31.000 I've seen people call him out.

01:53:32.000 Who?

01:53:33.000 For years.

01:53:33.000 Brad Castleberry.

01:53:35.000 Because he's always been at a 24-hour fitness, so I can see him bringing in stacks of fake plates because people would see them and you just take a picture of them.

01:53:42.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:53:43.000 That would spread.

01:53:44.000 It's just such a weird world, the world of how much can you lift.

01:53:48.000 Yeah, well, they're so into it, right?

01:53:50.000 These guys aren't learning Italian.

01:53:52.000 See, that looks real, man.

01:53:53.000 Look at that bar bending. 0.88

01:53:54.000 That's fake?

01:53:55.000 They're saying that's fake?

01:53:57.000 This video is about how to spot it, so we're not listening to what they're saying.

01:54:01.000 Right.

01:54:01.000 They might be saying that's legit.

01:54:03.000 It's a weird...

01:54:04.000 I don't know how much I can lift.

01:54:05.000 How about that?

01:54:06.000 Someone says, how much do you bench?

01:54:07.000 I don't bench.

01:54:08.000 I just say 250. It's a good move. 0.84

01:54:12.000 Scare people off.

01:54:14.000 I don't know.

01:54:14.000 I don't remember when I was...

01:54:15.000 Never take your jacket off.

01:54:17.000 That's why I wear the jacket.

01:54:17.000 I don't want to intimidate people.

01:54:18.000 You don't want anybody to know.

01:54:20.000 Yeah, it's a weird world.

01:54:21.000 Remember when you sent me a picture of a fat comedian and you said, don't end up like this?

01:54:25.000 No.

01:54:25.000 Did I? Did I do that?

01:54:27.000 Yeah.

01:54:28.000 How fat was he?

01:54:29.000 He was pretty porky.

01:54:30.000 I won't name him.

01:54:33.000 Did he have a shirt off on stage?

01:54:35.000 And I must have been like at a teetering weight at the time.

01:54:39.000 Oh, were we discussing weight loss?

01:54:40.000 Is that what it was?

01:54:40.000 Maybe a little.

01:54:41.000 Was it trying to encourage you by fat shaming you?

01:54:42.000 Yeah.

01:54:44.000 Well, I'm sending you lean elk meat.

01:54:46.000 It worked.

01:54:47.000 Listen, I have food for you back in LA, but I've got to get you in touch with my security guy.

01:54:51.000 He'll get you into the studio and he'll give you some elk meat.

01:54:54.000 It's the only meat I eat.

01:54:55.000 Yeah, because I'm going to have to...

01:54:56.000 Well, I got one this year already.

01:54:58.000 I'm going to have to ship some of that meat back out here soon.

01:55:01.000 Oh, man.

01:55:01.000 So, get a cooler.

01:55:03.000 Do you have a freezer at your house?

01:55:05.000 No, I just have this tiny fridge in the garage.

01:55:08.000 Maybe I should get a freezer.

01:55:09.000 If you get a commercial freezer, I could fill it.

01:55:11.000 Really?

01:55:11.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:55:13.000 I'm the only one that eats meat in my house.

01:55:15.000 Really?

01:55:15.000 So sad.

01:55:16.000 It's me and the dog.

01:55:17.000 That's why you're the man.

01:55:18.000 That's right.

01:55:18.000 That's why you dominate.

01:55:20.000 Are they all tired and sleepy all the time?

01:55:22.000 Yes, they're in their anemic.

01:55:24.000 Are they?

01:55:24.000 No joke.

01:55:25.000 Really?

01:55:25.000 Yes.

01:55:26.000 That's sad.

01:55:26.000 Yes.

01:55:27.000 They won't eat meat?

01:55:28.000 And it's so like, no.

01:55:31.000 Do they not eat meat for health reasons?

01:55:33.000 Because obviously that's not working.

01:55:35.000 Or is it a moral thing?

01:55:37.000 It was animal sympathy, empathy.

01:55:39.000 Yeah, they just love the animals.

01:55:41.000 And my wife taught my daughters the same.

01:55:44.000 What happens to elk if you don't eat them?

01:55:46.000 What happens to them?

01:55:48.000 Yeah.

01:55:48.000 Wolves eat them.

01:55:49.000 Bears eat them.

01:55:50.000 Oh yeah, of course.

01:55:52.000 And it's funny because...

01:55:54.000 What are you saying?

01:55:54.000 They're not opposed to...

01:55:55.000 They're not opposed to the dog eating meat.

01:55:57.000 Well, that's good.

01:55:58.000 You don't want the dog to die.

01:56:00.000 They literally ask, is there any meat around?

01:56:04.000 Because I'll make it.

01:56:06.000 I'll make a steak and then there's always some left over.

01:56:09.000 And she's like...

01:56:11.000 We're encouraging it now because the dog showed up in our life, and she eats meat.

01:56:15.000 Dude, they go crazy.

01:56:16.000 You ever see feed your dog liver?

01:56:18.000 That is one of the best things.

01:56:19.000 You should feed your dog liver.

01:56:20.000 Oh, yeah?

01:56:21.000 Oh, my God.

01:56:22.000 Marshall, my dog Marshall, who you'll meet later today, is the sweetest dog the world's ever known.

01:56:28.000 Loves everybody, but the wolf in him comes out when he smells liver.

01:56:32.000 Oh, really?

01:56:32.000 He has this wild-eyed look, and you feed him liver.

01:56:36.000 He's twitchy.

01:56:37.000 Wow.

01:56:37.000 Give him pieces of liver.

01:56:38.000 He's like...

01:56:39.000 Because it's so packed with iron and...

01:56:42.000 It's something in his DNA understands that liver is like the number one thing.

01:56:46.000 That's the best thing to get.

01:56:47.000 That's so great.

01:56:48.000 When a wolf kills an alpha, the alpha eats the liver.

01:56:51.000 Oh, really?

01:56:52.000 Yeah.

01:56:53.000 It's the prize.

01:56:54.000 That's Marshall with a little bird.

01:56:56.000 I found him.

01:56:57.000 He wasn't paying attention.

01:56:59.000 I was calling him, and he wasn't paying attention.

01:57:00.000 And I see him staring out the window, and there's a little bird that I think the bird flew into the window.

01:57:07.000 Oh, it was hurt.

01:57:07.000 Conked himself.

01:57:08.000 Yeah.

01:57:09.000 And so the bird's just sitting there, and Marshall's just tweaking hard.

01:57:12.000 Oh, man.

01:57:13.000 Staring at this bird.

01:57:14.000 But he eventually, the little bird, he eventually flew off.

01:57:17.000 Yeah.

01:57:18.000 Just instinct, man.

01:57:19.000 My sister has two dogs, two hounds, and she's had a chicken coop forever, and the chicken in there is like...

01:57:30.000 12 years old.

01:57:32.000 An old chicken.

01:57:33.000 That's old.

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:34.000 And she still was producing eggs, kind of, you know, just part of the family in a way.

01:57:39.000 It's just been there forever.

01:57:40.000 The hound dog.

01:57:40.000 And the dogs, and somehow someone left something open, and those hounds ripped her apart.

01:57:46.000 Yep.

01:57:46.000 Just lived with it, like...

01:57:49.000 For years, no problem, no nothing.

01:57:51.000 As soon as they had the opportunity...

01:57:53.000 They can't help themselves.

01:57:54.000 They could not help themselves.

01:57:55.000 My dog, Johnny, actually broke through the chicken coop.

01:57:58.000 He figured out a way to get inside the chicken coop, and he went on a rampage.

01:58:03.000 He killed like eight or nine of them, I forget.

01:58:05.000 Oh my god.

01:58:06.000 By the time I got to him, there was just bodies all over the place.

01:58:09.000 But I had, at that time, I think I had 20 plus chickens, so there were so many chickens for him to kill.

01:58:15.000 It took a while for me to figure out what was going on.

01:58:18.000 My wife screamed out, why is Johnny in the chicken coop? 1.00

01:58:20.000 I'm like, fuck! 1.00

01:58:22.000 And I ran out there and grabbed him. 1.00

01:58:23.000 Oh, man.

01:58:25.000 Or like, is it just a kill?

01:58:26.000 They don't. 0.98

01:58:27.000 They just kill him.

01:58:27.000 He's well fed.

01:58:28.000 That's what I thought.

01:58:29.000 Yeah.

01:58:30.000 Just for fun. 0.99

01:58:31.000 It was just for shits and giggles. 0.98

01:58:33.000 Just, yeah, just have a good time. 0.99

01:58:34.000 Little rat terriers killing the rats.

01:58:35.000 But did I tell you the whole story about him where he was talked into killing chickens by a coyote?

01:58:41.000 Talked into it?

01:58:43.000 Yeah, man.

01:58:43.000 They had to sit down in the bar?

01:58:44.000 There's a thing that happens with coyotes that's really amazing.

01:58:49.000 They're clever.

01:58:50.000 They're clever in a very specific way.

01:58:53.000 This is what was happening.

01:58:56.000 My chickens, when female chickens don't have a rooster, they lay eggs, but the eggs never become baby chicks, right?

01:59:04.000 So this is what people don't know that are vegetarians.

01:59:07.000 Like, you can eat eggs guilt-free.

01:59:10.000 Because eggs will never become a chicken.

01:59:15.000 People want to look at it like you're doing some harm to the chicken.

01:59:18.000 But if you have pets, chickens as pets, and you just let them free range, they run around, they eat bugs, they eat grass, they eat all these different things, they give you this incredibly nutritious eggs, and you don't have to worry.

01:59:31.000 There's no bad karma.

01:59:32.000 No one's getting hurt.

01:59:33.000 Just popping out eggs.

01:59:34.000 But every now and then, the chicken will decide that this egg is going to hatch, and they'll molt.

01:59:42.000 I think it's called brooding.

01:59:44.000 That's what it's called.

01:59:45.000 And they'll start picking their feathers off their body so that they can have skin on the egg, and they won't get off that egg. 0.86

01:59:54.000 And you come near them, they peck at you, they want to preserve that egg, because in their head, they're confused as to why they're not having chicks.

02:00:01.000 Right.

02:00:02.000 They're a little dinosaur brain.

02:00:03.000 So I had to take them, and I would separate them from the other chicks, and you had to put them in a smaller container where they couldn't sit on the thing. 1.00

02:00:13.000 So you had to put a perch.

02:00:14.000 Right.

02:00:17.000 Then their legs clutch on the perch, and they sit there in a smaller chicken coop, and then they would eventually get over it.

02:00:24.000 And then you could let them back in, and they would act normal again.

02:00:26.000 Wow.

02:00:27.000 But otherwise, they would damage themselves.

02:00:29.000 They'd peck at themselves, and it was real weird.

02:00:30.000 That is weird.

02:00:31.000 When you say they decide, does that mean that all eggs could, and they just pick this one out?

02:00:35.000 No, no, no, no.

02:00:36.000 They have a feeling like this one is going to have it.

02:00:38.000 No, no, no.

02:00:39.000 No eggs can ever become a chick.

02:00:41.000 Gotcha, gotcha.

02:00:41.000 The only way an egg can be a chick is if there's a rooster.

02:00:44.000 So these chickens, these female chickens, which by the way, I didn't know until I was 40. I thought they just fucking had an egg and the egg became a chicken. 0.99

02:00:55.000 You were eating it before it became a chick. 1.00

02:00:57.000 That's what I thought.

02:00:58.000 That's why you get a feather in it once in a while.

02:01:00.000 I put zero thought into it.

02:01:04.000 Until we had chickens and then we realized that there's this brooding thing where they have to hold on to the...

02:01:08.000 So you have to basically take them...

02:01:11.000 If you don't do it, they'll go through a full cycle, like 30 days of brooding and they won't lay any other eggs and it's like...

02:01:16.000 They get real weird.

02:01:18.000 Right, right.

02:01:19.000 But they also, they damage themselves. 1.00

02:01:20.000 They pluck all their feathers out and shit. 0.98

02:01:22.000 But if you take them and you put them in this small container for a number of days, like I forget how many days it is, they'll eventually get over it and then they act normal again. 0.97

02:01:33.000 So we did that and then I put this smaller container on the outside of the larger chicken coop, right?

02:01:39.000 Because it, for whatever reason, I didn't bring it inside.

02:01:42.000 I just put it outside of there.

02:01:43.000 Uh-huh.

02:01:44.000 The Coyote became friends with Johnny Cash. 1.00

02:01:47.000 Johnny Cash is a Mastiff and he's a fucking tank. 1.00

02:01:50.000 He's 140 pounds, head like a fire hydrant. 1.00

02:01:55.000 Dumb as shit, right? 1.00

02:01:56.000 And the coyote was super clever. 1.00

02:01:58.000 And the coyote was his friend.

02:02:00.000 So the coyote would hop the fence and hang out with him.

02:02:02.000 And he had decided, because the coyote was way too small to eat him.

02:02:06.000 It's like, the coyote's only probably 35 pounds.

02:02:09.000 Sure.

02:02:09.000 But the coyote got him convinced that they're buddies.

02:02:12.000 So the coyote would come visit, and Johnny would see it outside the fence.

02:02:17.000 And so one day, somebody left the gate open.

02:02:22.000 Where the way the house was set up, the dog could stay on one side and the chicken coop was on the other side.

02:02:28.000 So I didn't have to worry about him because he's so strong.

02:02:31.000 He could literally go through the chicken coop, which he eventually did.

02:02:34.000 He pulled the chicken wire apart and just slaughtered.

02:02:38.000 But before he did that, the coyote convinced him to go to the box where that one chicken was and knock it over.

02:02:45.000 Oh.

02:02:46.000 So I'm sitting there, and we were playing games.

02:02:50.000 We were playing, like, Sorry or something with my family. 0.99

02:02:53.000 And I look out the window, and I see this fucking coyote with a chicken in its mouth running across my yard and bounces over my fence like it doesn't exist. 0.99

02:03:03.000 I mean, it's like... 0.99

02:03:04.000 You can't believe how graceful they are.

02:03:06.000 I know.

02:03:07.000 Six-foot fence, just like this.

02:03:08.000 Bing, bing, bong.

02:03:09.000 Gone, with a chicken in his mouth.

02:03:11.000 I'm running out chasing him. 1.00

02:03:12.000 You motherfucker! 1.00

02:03:14.000 And then I go over and I'm like, how did he get the chicken? 1.00

02:03:18.000 And then I go over to where the chicken coop is and somebody had let Johnny over to that side.

02:03:22.000 And he's destroyed the chicken coop, the small coop.

02:03:26.000 And he's just looking at me like, hey man, what's up? 0.99

02:03:28.000 And I'm like, what the fuck did you do? 0.98

02:03:30.000 And then I realized, oh my god, the coyote tricked him into knocking this thing over and then it stole the chicken. 0.99

02:03:37.000 Because it was hanging out with him.

02:03:38.000 The coyote told me you'd want me to knock it over.

02:03:40.000 He wasn't barking at the coyote.

02:03:42.000 He wasn't acting like the coyote was an intruder.

02:03:45.000 In his mind, the coyote was like my other dog.

02:03:47.000 It was like his friend.

02:03:48.000 Right, right.

02:03:48.000 They were buddies.

02:03:49.000 Let's do this.

02:03:49.000 Come on, it'll be cool.

02:03:50.000 Exactly.

02:03:51.000 He didn't even know what it was.

02:03:52.000 What do you want me to do?

02:03:53.000 What do you want me to do?

02:03:53.000 You want me to knock that over?

02:03:55.000 I'll knock that over.

02:03:56.000 Boom! 0.99

02:03:57.000 Joe said I should do it?

02:03:58.000 Okay. 0.99

02:03:58.000 And he shatters his box and the coyote's like, thanks, sucker! 0.99

02:04:01.000 Woo! 0.99

02:04:02.000 Poing! 0.98

02:04:02.000 It just bounces over the fence. 0.98

02:04:04.000 They are smart.

02:04:05.000 But I was...

02:04:06.000 I mean, I spent the rest of the day going like, what did it do?

02:04:10.000 Did it know that he could do that?

02:04:13.000 Right.

02:04:13.000 Probably.

02:04:15.000 Or did it just think maybe we'll work together and we can do it?

02:04:18.000 Did it know?

02:04:19.000 Look how big that thing is. 0.95

02:04:20.000 I think that thing could probably break this.

02:04:22.000 Did it understand?

02:04:23.000 Yeah, it does.

02:04:24.000 It sizes it up.

02:04:24.000 My wife was walking.

02:04:25.000 We have a new dog in the house.

02:04:27.000 We have a pug named Frank.

02:04:29.000 Oh.

02:04:29.000 New addition to the house.

02:04:31.000 When did you get Frank?

02:04:32.000 Like four weeks ago.

02:04:34.000 I rescued it.

02:04:35.000 One daughter went to school and my other daughter replaced her with a pug. 1.00

02:04:40.000 And my wife is walking the black lab, Bella, and Frank the pug.

02:04:45.000 She's just walking them on the sidewalk.

02:04:48.000 And she ran into a coyote in the middle of the street.

02:04:52.000 Coyote.

02:04:53.000 Pretty big one.

02:04:54.000 And she said she was making noise, trying to get it off, and she said he wasn't moving.

02:04:59.000 He was just, watch, he was like sizing up, kind of what you're saying.

02:05:03.000 Yeah.

02:05:03.000 Looking at Frank, this little edible pug, but seeing my wife in this black lab, and she said he was just trying to figure out...

02:05:12.000 What he could do.

02:05:13.000 Yeah, what could he do?

02:05:15.000 And my wife was making a lot of noise, trying to push him away, and eventually he went...

02:05:19.000 Here's your little pug. 1.00

02:05:19.000 Oh yeah, there's Frank! 1.00

02:05:20.000 Give me that little face. 1.00

02:05:22.000 It's a great name for a pug.

02:05:23.000 He's adorable.

02:05:24.000 Yeah, he's pretty great.

02:05:25.000 They're not that bright.

02:05:27.000 Yeah, well, they eat those things all day long.

02:05:29.000 Yeah.

02:05:29.000 Coyotes snatch those up from yards all day long.

02:05:32.000 It's a fun dog name to be like, come on, Frank.

02:05:35.000 I had a dog named Frank Sinatra.

02:05:36.000 It's like you're talking to a guy from the 50s.

02:05:37.000 You had a Frank Sinatra?

02:05:38.000 Yeah, I had Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash.

02:05:41.000 Isn't Frank great?

02:05:42.000 Talking to Frank is great.

02:05:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:05:44.000 Aw, what are you doing, Frank?

02:05:46.000 Come on, Frank.

02:05:46.000 Frank!

02:05:47.000 Frank!

02:05:48.000 Not in the office.

02:05:49.000 He looks like a Frank.

02:05:52.000 Frank!

02:05:53.000 We've never had a pug before.

02:05:54.000 Oh really?

02:05:55.000 They're cute dogs.

02:05:56.000 Look at that little face.

02:05:57.000 Look at that face.

02:05:57.000 Look at them.

02:05:58.000 Hilarious.

02:05:59.000 They're not that bright. 1.00

02:06:01.000 Gotta keep them away from fucking coyotes, man. 1.00

02:06:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:06:04.000 The coyotes are gonna come and take it.

02:06:05.000 Maria Bamford, great comedian.

02:06:09.000 Great comedian.

02:06:11.000 She adopts pugs.

02:06:13.000 She has like five at a time. 0.92

02:06:14.000 And only adopts them like at ten years old.

02:06:17.000 Like the end of their life when people aren't caring for them.

02:06:20.000 Good for her.

02:06:22.000 How big hearted she is.

02:06:23.000 She brings them in and cares for them to the end of their life. 1.00

02:06:26.000 Whitney has about a hundred dogs at her fucking house. 1.00

02:06:28.000 Does she really? 1.00

02:06:29.000 She's always got dogs. 1.00

02:06:30.000 She's always adopting.

02:06:31.000 She'll send me pictures.

02:06:32.000 Look at this new dog I got. 1.00

02:06:33.000 I'm like, bitch, how many dogs do you have? 1.00

02:06:35.000 I went to her house. 1.00

02:06:36.000 I did a backyard stand-up thing.

02:06:38.000 I saw that.

02:06:39.000 Me and Tim Dillon.

02:06:39.000 People were criticizing her for that backyard stand-up show.

02:06:42.000 She tested everybody.

02:06:43.000 Oh, please.

02:06:44.000 They're all comics.

02:06:45.000 Everybody wore masks.

02:06:47.000 Yeah, it was totally safe.

02:06:48.000 People were like, you're putting people at risk.

02:06:50.000 Oh, snooze fest.

02:06:52.000 Professional comedians were saying that.

02:06:54.000 What?

02:06:54.000 Yes.

02:06:55.000 Which ones?

02:06:55.000 You know ones with money that don't worry about making a living, that don't want anybody to do any dates at all, even if it's just fun.

02:07:03.000 Oh, shut your trap. 0.95

02:07:04.000 Oh, it's so gross. 1.00

02:07:05.000 Shut your trap. 0.98

02:07:06.000 This whole risk-shaming thing.

02:07:07.000 Oh my god, exactly.

02:07:09.000 You can't make people at risk.

02:07:11.000 That was another thing in the article, sorry to go way back to the pandemic.

02:07:16.000 Another thing that countries that have done things well, they don't shame people into their actions.

02:07:22.000 If you give them the information and let them act on their own...

02:07:26.000 Well, you gotta take Twitter away. 0.94

02:07:28.000 If you shame them and yell at them and we're better than you and you tell them what to do and you're gonna shame the shit out of them, then they all rebel. 0.97

02:07:35.000 You make Trumpers. 0.99

02:07:36.000 Right.

02:07:36.000 You'll rebel.

02:07:37.000 You're like, don't tell me what to do.

02:07:39.000 Exactly.

02:07:39.000 Yeah.

02:07:40.000 Well, that's human nature, man.

02:07:41.000 Oh, please. 0.99

02:07:42.000 Those people are gross. 0.96

02:07:43.000 Let people go perform. 0.99

02:07:44.000 I went and performed in Portland.

02:07:48.000 Has anybody given you any grief for doing shows?

02:07:50.000 No.

02:07:50.000 Wait till after the show.

02:07:51.000 They will.

02:07:51.000 Oh, F them.

02:07:52.000 They're coming for you. 0.97

02:07:54.000 They're coming for you.

02:07:54.000 Talk to me about the waitresses that were almost losing their apartments and are back at work.

02:08:00.000 Talk to me about the people that are subsiding their anxiety by finally getting out of the house and hearing comedians translate stuff.

02:08:08.000 I think you should be able to take risks.

02:08:11.000 We are...

02:08:12.000 Almost seven months into this thing.

02:08:13.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:08:14.000 And the idea that you're supposed to stay home until there's a cure is fucking insane. 0.99

02:08:18.000 It's insane. 0.99

02:08:18.000 It's untenable. 0.99

02:08:19.000 It doesn't make any sense.

02:08:20.000 And obviously, you can navigate it.

02:08:23.000 You can navigate these waters.

02:08:24.000 You can.

02:08:25.000 You do it safely.

02:08:25.000 You wear a mask.

02:08:26.000 You take care of your health.

02:08:27.000 You take vitamin D, zinc, and vitamin C. Drink a lot of water.

02:08:30.000 Get a lot of rest.

02:08:32.000 And whatever's good for you.

02:08:33.000 Get tested.

02:08:33.000 If you're vulnerable and you don't want to go, you don't go.

02:08:35.000 But if the governor of that state says it's okay, and the mayor says it's okay, and the club owner says It's doing all the right things.

02:08:43.000 And the staff is there and the people show up.

02:08:45.000 We've all decided as a collective that this is okay for us.

02:08:48.000 We're adults.

02:08:49.000 And if we're out there bungee jumping or riding bulls or any other dangerous activities, we should be able to do that.

02:08:55.000 And the argument against that, of course, is that you're going to transmit it to someone else. 0.98

02:08:59.000 Don't fucking do that, okay? 0.99

02:09:01.000 Get yourself tested. 0.99

02:09:02.000 If you have a vulnerable person in your household, don't do anything risky.

02:09:07.000 But you can be tested now.

02:09:09.000 It is possible.

02:09:10.000 You can find out.

02:09:11.000 100%. 0.97

02:09:12.000 And Trump kicked it, and he's fat, and he's 74. You need to get on the same shit they put The Rock on when he was doing Fast and the Furious. 1.00

02:09:21.000 Can you imagine? 1.00

02:09:22.000 Run through walls!

02:09:24.000 The Rock got COVID, and he was like, one of the most difficult things me and my family have ever been through.

02:09:29.000 Meanwhile, you're like, come on, son.

02:09:30.000 Come on.

02:09:31.000 You look great, and I've been watching your Instagram the whole time.

02:09:33.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:09:34.000 You never even coughed.

02:09:34.000 You didn't even flinch.

02:09:35.000 You didn't even cough.

02:09:36.000 You never stopped posting.

02:09:37.000 One of the most difficult things my family and I have ever done.

02:09:40.000 I'm a giant Rock fan. 0.95

02:09:42.000 I fucking love that guy. 0.99

02:09:43.000 He is jacked. 1.00

02:09:44.000 Holy cow. 0.89

02:09:44.000 He's so inspirational. 0.89

02:09:46.000 I know.

02:09:46.000 He's always getting after it.

02:09:47.000 If you're lazy, there's three people you need to go look at.

02:09:50.000 Cameron Haynes, David Goggins, and The Rock.

02:09:53.000 Go pay attention to those. 1.00

02:09:54.000 They will get you off your fucking lazy ass. 1.00

02:09:56.000 They sure will. 1.00

02:09:57.000 And people think, oh, that's frivolous.

02:09:59.000 Listen, it's not.

02:10:00.000 I know.

02:10:01.000 Mental strength is an important thing to have.

02:10:05.000 Yeah.

02:10:06.000 And it's something that you can...

02:10:10.000 You can grow.

02:10:11.000 You can cultivate it.

02:10:13.000 It's a thing that you see in other people, you admire it, and a lot of people, they like to pretend they don't admire it because they don't have it in themselves, and so they try to dismiss it.

02:10:23.000 It's inspiring.

02:10:23.000 But those people, Goggins and Cam Haynes and The Rock, people that are constantly...

02:10:28.000 Kevin Hart is another one, too.

02:10:30.000 Constantly hustling, always getting after it.

02:10:32.000 Always moving.

02:10:32.000 Those people are very valuable to humanity.

02:10:35.000 They really are.

02:10:37.000 But people who consider themselves intellectuals, or at least intelligent, or artists, or whatever, they look at those people as like they're doing something frivolous.

02:10:47.000 And maybe perhaps my support of it is just reinforcing the meathead part of me that I enjoy.

02:10:53.000 Which is true.

02:10:54.000 I'm a meathead.

02:10:55.000 It's a fact.

02:10:56.000 Well, that's true.

02:10:57.000 I'm a meathead.

02:10:59.000 I like muscle cars.

02:11:00.000 I like bow hunting. 1.00

02:11:01.000 I like meathead type shit. 1.00

02:11:03.000 But I also like to read. 1.00

02:11:05.000 And I also like intelligent things.

02:11:07.000 I like interesting discussions.

02:11:08.000 And you get motivated to work really hard.

02:11:10.000 The mind is the hard part.

02:11:12.000 Getting your mind to force your body to do things.

02:11:16.000 Yeah.

02:11:16.000 When your mind starts concocting all these excuses and starts coming up with all these different ways why you don't have to do that.

02:11:23.000 Very clever. 1.00

02:11:24.000 It's a sneaky bitch, your mind. 1.00

02:11:26.000 Really clever. 1.00

02:11:26.000 And you gotta conquer it. 1.00

02:11:27.000 You gotta conquer your inner bitch. 1.00

02:11:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:11:29.000 You gotta figure out a way to tell that motherfucker to shut up and you start working. 1.00

02:11:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:11:33.000 And once you start sweating and things start moving along... 1.00

02:11:36.000 You get healthier.

02:11:38.000 You get a sense of satisfaction.

02:11:39.000 That's right, exactly.

02:11:40.000 You had one post, literally, I saw it as I was doing a pour over coffee in the morning before my radio show, and you said something like, my inner bitch wanted me to go and just have coffee and skip the workout, and I was sitting there, like, literally making the coffee.

02:11:55.000 I did. 0.66

02:11:56.000 It was a hard day.

02:11:57.000 Yeah.

02:11:57.000 Sometimes it's hard, man.

02:11:59.000 For me, and I always feel silly talking about working out in front of you anyway, but...

02:12:06.000 As long as I know when I'm doing it in the day.

02:12:08.000 If it's going to be right after the radio show as soon as I turn it off and I go on.

02:12:11.000 Like, I just have to know.

02:12:13.000 Just have to schedule.

02:12:14.000 Yeah, you can't have it loose.

02:12:15.000 Like, some time in the afternoon does not work.

02:12:18.000 I have to know exactly when.

02:12:19.000 That's how I am with writing as well.

02:12:21.000 I have to have my writing.

02:12:23.000 I have to know I'm writing today at 3pm.

02:12:26.000 I will show up.

02:12:27.000 I will flip open that laptop. 0.99

02:12:29.000 I will fucking fire it up. 0.99

02:12:30.000 That's right. 0.99

02:12:31.000 Yeah.

02:12:31.000 And all you have to do is show up.

02:12:34.000 Just show up.

02:12:35.000 There's this great book on writing rituals.

02:12:38.000 All these different writers and they tell you it's just what each author did.

02:12:42.000 And some painters.

02:12:44.000 Something rituals.

02:12:46.000 I feel like you've told me about this before.

02:12:48.000 I think I have.

02:12:50.000 I'll get you a copy.

02:12:51.000 Okay.

02:12:51.000 That'll be my mission.

02:12:53.000 It's so great.

02:12:54.000 Just keep it at your end table just to kind of like pop it open and just see how these people...

02:12:58.000 Just that they...

02:12:59.000 Some of them are really decadent, some of them are really puritanical, but they had it.

02:13:04.000 Well, the best one was Hunter S. Thompson.

02:13:06.000 Hunter S. Thompson, there was a beardy man took me and Fitzsimmons reading Hunter S. Thompson's ritual and put it into music.

02:13:15.000 Oh, really?

02:13:15.000 And made a song.

02:13:16.000 Do you think we can play that?

02:13:17.000 Are you allowed?

02:13:18.000 I wonder if we can play that because...

02:13:21.000 I'm in it.

02:13:21.000 I mean, I gave him the rights to use it.

02:13:23.000 Uh-huh.

02:13:25.000 What do you think happens there?

02:13:27.000 It's kind of an interesting experiment.

02:13:29.000 Yeah.

02:13:29.000 He seems like a nice guy.

02:13:33.000 It's weird, like, what you can get away with and what you can't get away with, man.

02:13:36.000 Who owns it?

02:13:37.000 It's not me.

02:13:38.000 I certainly don't own it, but I let him use our voice.

02:13:40.000 But it's me and Fitzsimmons reading Hunter S. Thompson's schedule.

02:13:44.000 Like, he had a writer come visit him, and the writer, like, observed what he did in the day.

02:13:49.000 And was his ritual, he would do it every day?

02:13:52.000 Yeah, play this.

02:13:52.000 Alright, here's his daily routine.

02:13:54.000 3pm, rise.

02:13:56.000 3.05, Shivas Regal with morning papers.

02:13:59.000 Smokes Dunhills.

02:14:00.000 3.45, cocaine.

02:14:02.000 3.50, another glass of Shivas.

02:14:04.000 Another Dunhill.

02:14:05.000 4.05 p.m., by the way, first cup of coffee and a Dunhill.

02:14:09.000 4.15, cocaine.

02:14:11.000 4.16, orange juice and another Dunhill.

02:14:13.000 4.30, cocaine.

02:14:15.000 4.54, cocaine.

02:14:16.000 5.05, cocaine.

02:14:17.000 5.11, coffee, Dunhills.

02:14:19.000 5.30, get more ice in the Shivas.

02:14:21.000 Cocaine at 5.45, 6 o'clock, smoking grass, take the edge off the day.

02:14:26.000 7 p.m.

02:14:27.000 The day.

02:14:27.000 Three hours into it.

02:14:28.000 Three hours in.

02:14:29.000 Lit.

02:14:29.000 7.05.

02:14:31.000 Woody Creek Tavern for lunch.

02:14:32.000 Heineken.

02:14:33.000 Two margaritas.

02:14:35.000 Coleslaw.

02:14:35.000 A taco salad.

02:14:36.000 Double order of fried onion rings.

02:14:37.000 Carrot cake.

02:14:38.000 Ice cream.

02:14:38.000 A bean fritter.

02:14:40.000 Dunhills.

02:14:40.000 Another Heineken.

02:14:41.000 Cocaine.

02:14:41.000 And for the rest of the ride home, a snow cone.

02:14:44.000 A glass of shredded ice, which is poured over four jiggers of Chivas.

02:14:49.000 Okay, so a snow cone is Chivas. 0.52

02:14:50.000 Okay?

02:14:51.000 9 p.m.

02:14:52.000 Start snorting cocaine seriously.

02:14:54.000 10 p.m.

02:14:55.000 Drops acid.

02:14:57.000 11 p.m.

02:14:58.000 Chartreuse.

02:14:59.000 I don't know what that is.

02:15:00.000 Cocaine and grass.

02:15:01.000 11.30.

02:15:02.000 Cocaine, etc., etc.

02:15:03.000 12. Midnight.

02:15:05.000 Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write.

02:15:07.000 That's when he sits down to write.

02:15:09.000 12.05 to 6 a.m.

02:15:10.000 He writes, chartreuse, cocaine, grass, chivas, coffee, Heineken, clothes, cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies.

02:15:20.000 6 a.m.

02:15:22.000 In the hot tub with champagne, dove bars, fettuccine Alfredo.

02:15:27.000 8am.

02:15:27.000 Calcium.

02:15:28.000 It's a sleeping pill.

02:15:29.000 820. Sleep.

02:15:31.000 Oh my god.

02:15:32.000 I can't believe he shot himself.

02:15:34.000 I can't believe. 1.00

02:15:35.000 What a fucking animal. 1.00

02:15:36.000 He's in serious pain. 1.00

02:15:38.000 He had hip replacements. 1.00

02:15:39.000 He was all fucked up. 1.00

02:15:41.000 Man, oh man. 1.00

02:15:42.000 I can't call that a ritual.

02:15:45.000 You can only throw that much sand into the engine.

02:15:47.000 Yeah.

02:15:48.000 Right, exactly.

02:15:49.000 Where the block seizes up.

02:15:50.000 It's gonna seize.

02:15:51.000 It was sad towards the end of his life because he couldn't talk.

02:15:55.000 Like, there's a famous interview with him on Conan O'Brien.

02:15:59.000 Yeah.

02:15:59.000 And he had lost his ability to communicate.

02:16:02.000 The worst.

02:16:05.000 He just was so compromised by alcohol and drugs, he couldn't talk anymore.

02:16:12.000 That is the worst.

02:16:13.000 That really is bad.

02:16:16.000 I was looking at this video of David Lynch talking about TM. Transcendental meditation?

02:16:25.000 Yeah.

02:16:25.000 And he was talking about...

02:16:30.000 That the people that are in pain that are drinking like that and taking the drugs, artists that are doing that stuff, that that ends up killing the art.

02:16:39.000 And that if you can find something else for your brain that gets you away from those things, you'll be able to create.

02:16:45.000 But that all of those drug-fueled...

02:16:51.000 Alcohol-fueled artistic endeavors and artistic lives all just burn out.

02:16:56.000 They just...

02:16:58.000 You've killed it.

02:17:00.000 You've killed the part that's going to be able to create.

02:17:03.000 And it's true. 0.56

02:17:04.000 All those stories don't end in a way.

02:17:05.000 Stan Hope's still kicking.

02:17:07.000 Is he?

02:17:08.000 Mm-hmm.

02:17:09.000 Doing great.

02:17:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:17:10.000 Tell David Lynch to suck it. 1.00

02:17:13.000 We'll see. 1.00

02:17:16.000 Honestly, I think that's a generalization.

02:17:19.000 It's a pretty...

02:17:20.000 I think that drugs and alcohol can be tools.

02:17:24.000 I think the problem is...

02:17:26.000 In short bursts.

02:17:26.000 The inclination that people have to excess is often what leads them astray.

02:17:33.000 It's like this inclination to just keep boozing and keep drugging and year after year, day after day, eventually your body falls apart.

02:17:40.000 Right.

02:17:41.000 This is why I'm doing Sober October.

02:17:42.000 Yeah, how's it going?

02:17:43.000 It's nice.

02:17:44.000 You feel good? 0.99

02:17:44.000 I'm fucking sore. 0.99

02:17:45.000 You're all by yourself. 0.99

02:17:46.000 I know no one's...

02:17:47.000 You're all alone.

02:17:49.000 But I'm sore.

02:17:50.000 I've been working out...

02:17:50.000 I decided to work out every day for the whole month.

02:17:53.000 Oh, really?

02:17:53.000 See what that's like.

02:17:54.000 Yeah.

02:17:54.000 Wow.

02:17:55.000 What's your normal schedule?

02:17:56.000 I take days off.

02:17:57.000 Yeah.

02:17:58.000 Normally, I take a couple days off a week.

02:17:59.000 Right.

02:17:59.000 But I've just been forcing myself to do what I would call active recovery, so I mix it up.

02:18:04.000 So, like, days...

02:18:05.000 I just do different things on different days.

02:18:08.000 I'm just trying to keep it going.

02:18:10.000 One of the things I've become real obsessed with is this thing called the Rogue Echo Bike.

02:18:16.000 Uh-huh.

02:18:16.000 You know what that is?

02:18:17.000 No.

02:18:18.000 You know what an Airdyne bike is?

02:18:19.000 Yeah.

02:18:20.000 You do your handles, and then you basically, it's wind resistance.

02:18:24.000 Yeah, that big wheel.

02:18:24.000 It's a fan.

02:18:24.000 Yeah.

02:18:25.000 This is like the most brutal version of that.

02:18:28.000 Oh, yeah?

02:18:29.000 It's a really rugged, tough piece of equipment, and I've become obsessed with seeing how much I can do on it.

02:18:38.000 It's really weird.

02:18:39.000 Like, I started doing these Tabata rounds.

02:18:41.000 I would do like four rounds.

02:18:42.000 Uh-huh.

02:18:43.000 Four rounds are, you do eight Tabatas, which is 20 seconds of sprinting, followed by 10 seconds of rest, and you do that for a cycle of eight.

02:18:52.000 Like, you do that eight times.

02:18:53.000 How long?

02:18:54.000 How far?

02:18:54.000 It takes four minutes to do eight times.

02:18:56.000 No, how far is the sprint?

02:18:57.000 No, just time.

02:18:58.000 Oh, time.

02:18:59.000 You're just doing time.

02:18:59.000 Because you're not going anywhere, right?

02:19:00.000 Oh, you're on the bike.

02:19:01.000 I'm sorry.

02:19:01.000 You're on the bike.

02:19:02.000 Pay attention.

02:19:03.000 You're not even listening to me, man.

02:19:04.000 I'm on drugs!

02:19:05.000 So you do that.

02:19:07.000 It takes four minutes, and I would do that.

02:19:09.000 I started off doing it.

02:19:11.000 I would just do it four times, which is 16 minutes.

02:19:14.000 16 minutes of sprinting, which is hard.

02:19:17.000 It's difficult.

02:19:18.000 And then I moved it up to 8. And then I moved it up to 10. And then I moved it up to 13. So now I'm basically at 52 minutes of sprinting and resting.

02:19:28.000 Sprinting and resting.

02:19:29.000 And it's amazing for my cardio.

02:19:32.000 Yeah.

02:19:32.000 But...

02:19:33.000 You just rest and recover, and then I have this day of dread where I know today I'm doing the Airdyne bike.

02:19:41.000 Right. 1.00

02:19:41.000 And then I start fucking with my head, and I start saying, okay, pussy, today you're going to do 15. You're going to do 15 sets. 1.00

02:19:48.000 Each one is four minutes long.

02:19:50.000 Ready, go.

02:19:52.000 And once you get through one, you go, okay, 13 more to go, 14 more to go, you know?

02:19:58.000 Yeah.

02:19:58.000 13, 12, 11, and you just keep going.

02:20:00.000 And then when you get to seven, you feel the finish line coming. 0.98

02:20:03.000 And then you get to six and to five, and you're fucking, I'm drenched with sweat, right? 0.92

02:20:08.000 And I'm taking liquid IV in these big two-liter bottles, and I'm chugging it. 0.98

02:20:13.000 Jesus.

02:20:14.000 I've become crazy with this.

02:20:16.000 It's just the starting that's the hard part.

02:20:17.000 It's the dread.

02:20:19.000 Yeah.

02:20:19.000 It's the dread.

02:20:20.000 I've tried to find ways to avoid doing this because I'm doing it three days a week sprinting on this thing.

02:20:25.000 That's amazing.

02:20:26.000 Good for you.

02:20:27.000 But my quads, my legs are getting big.

02:20:29.000 Mine are getting big too.

02:20:30.000 What are you doing?

02:20:31.000 Getting fat?

02:20:32.000 Peloton.

02:20:32.000 Oh, sorry.

02:20:33.000 What?

02:20:33.000 Do I look fat?

02:20:34.000 No, no, no.

02:20:34.000 You look great.

02:20:36.000 Peloton's awesome.

02:20:37.000 I hit a 61-week streak on the Peloton.

02:20:40.000 You did it 61 weeks in a row?

02:20:41.000 I'm at 61 weeks.

02:20:43.000 I'm still alive.

02:20:44.000 That's amazing.

02:20:44.000 It's good.

02:20:45.000 How many days a week are you doing it?

02:20:47.000 Three.

02:20:47.000 And when you do it, are you following the same course?

02:20:50.000 No.

02:20:50.000 Or do you have different instructors?

02:20:52.000 You follow their workouts?

02:20:54.000 I've got this great...

02:20:55.000 I only like one instructor.

02:20:57.000 I have this guy, Matt Wilpers, who's...

02:20:59.000 He's not partying on the bike.

02:21:01.000 There's a lot of, you know, everyone has their different soul cycle kind of a, you know, girls flirting. 1.00

02:21:06.000 And Wilpers is like a coach.

02:21:09.000 He's like just dialed in.

02:21:10.000 Hardcore.

02:21:10.000 He's like, yeah, he's like a high school coach kind of a thing.

02:21:13.000 And...

02:21:14.000 He's just all about hitting these zones and doing the stuff, but he keeps coming out with new ones.

02:21:20.000 So every week, he drops a 60-minute or a 45-minute, and it just keeps me motivated.

02:21:28.000 It keeps me in.

02:21:29.000 And it has music, so you're going along to the music.

02:21:32.000 He's got music.

02:21:32.000 And he's coaching you.

02:21:34.000 And he's coaching you.

02:21:35.000 Telling you to crank it up, let it go, all that stuff.

02:21:37.000 Right, exactly.

02:21:39.000 Peloton's awesome.

02:21:40.000 They also have a treadmill now, too, right?

02:21:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:21:43.000 There was a place that we, when we were working in Phoenix once, and we went to this gym, we were doing stand-up in Phoenix, and we went to this gym during the day, and they had these cardio machines that were exactly what I always wanted.

02:21:55.000 I said, why can't someone come up with a cardio machine where as you're running, you're doing like a video game?

02:22:02.000 And so you had like fire in your left hand and I think what you did with your right hand.

02:22:07.000 But it was like an elliptical machine and the only way you went forward is by doing this.

02:22:14.000 So you have a screen in front of you and you were shooting pew pew pew and then you would turn it pew pew pew.

02:22:19.000 Who were you shooting?

02:22:20.000 I forget what you were shooting at.

02:22:22.000 Nazis?

02:22:22.000 I think you were in a tank and you were shooting at other objects.

02:22:26.000 That's cool.

02:22:27.000 It wasn't so sophisticated where you had like...

02:22:29.000 There's a thing that they're doing where they...

02:22:32.000 I know there was a concept, at least, where they had VR goggles and you had this omnidirectional treadmill.

02:22:40.000 So you'd be harnessed by the waist and the omnidirectional treadmill would go in any way.

02:22:45.000 And so you would run left and one right, and you'd shoot at this and shoot at that.

02:22:49.000 But you'd actually be getting exercise in, because you're on this self-propelled, omnidirectional treadmill.

02:22:54.000 Have you ever used a self-propelled treadmill?

02:22:56.000 No.

02:22:56.000 Dude.

02:22:57.000 No.

02:22:57.000 We have this thing called the Air Runner at the old studio, and I miss it.

02:23:01.000 It's amazing.

02:23:02.000 It's 15% harder than regular running, because it's at this little slope, and you're pulling to get it to go.

02:23:08.000 And as you get it to go, you're keeping up this pace.

02:23:11.000 It's very difficult.

02:23:12.000 Wow.

02:23:12.000 It's really good, though.

02:23:14.000 It's like running on the beach.

02:23:16.000 Like in the sand. 0.99

02:23:17.000 Wonder on the beach is pretty fucking good. 0.97

02:23:19.000 It's not quite the same as that, but it's really good.

02:23:22.000 But anyway, the point is, if you could have something like that where it's difficult to do, but also fun, like you put on these goggles and you're doing Halo or something, or you're in Quake, and you're running down the hallway and shooting at things,

02:23:37.000 what a workout you would get.

02:23:39.000 That'd be really cool.

02:23:40.000 If you get it behind you and someone's coming up behind you, you've got to outrun them.

02:23:44.000 Because think about how many people get addicted to video games.

02:23:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:23:48.000 Video games are extremely addictive.

02:23:49.000 Sure.

02:23:50.000 If you can get addicted to something that actually gives you cardio, where you're running four or five hours in a day.

02:23:55.000 Yeah, that'd be great.

02:23:56.000 So the only way you can get good at this game is by drinking a lot of water, taking vitamins, eating clean.

02:24:01.000 Yeah, come on. 0.77

02:24:02.000 Yes.

02:24:02.000 Let's do it.

02:24:03.000 Let's make it.

02:24:04.000 I think they're really close to doing something like that.

02:24:06.000 You've tried that game Beat Saber where you're swinging the sticks. 1.00

02:24:11.000 John Carmack was a wizard of that shit. 0.98

02:24:13.000 When you have that ramped up, granted maybe if you made those weighted so it's not weightless in your hand. 1.00

02:24:20.000 I've played that for like an hour.

02:24:21.000 You get pretty sweaty if you're doing good. 0.98

02:24:23.000 Like if you're not fucking up every 30 seconds. 0.95

02:24:25.000 Well, do you remember when we put that boxing game on and I was whacking all these opponents and I was getting tired. 0.98

02:24:34.000 I was like, this is a good workout.

02:24:35.000 I get tired during Dance Dance Revolution. 0.99

02:24:37.000 Because if you actually know how to box a little, you could fuck those guys up. 0.99

02:24:40.000 You're right. 0.99

02:24:40.000 So those guys would come at me and be like, pop, pop! 0.99

02:24:42.000 And I would duck under.

02:24:43.000 But you're actually, you're moving, and when you get hit, the light flashes, like you got hit.

02:24:49.000 How cool is that?

02:24:50.000 It's pretty cool.

02:24:50.000 That's pretty cool.

02:24:51.000 Like, if you could dial that in and be like, go against Tyson or go against, you know what I mean?

02:24:55.000 Like, go against Ali.

02:24:57.000 They will definitely have that someday.

02:24:59.000 Frasier coming at you?

02:25:00.000 The thing would be cool is if you could actually hit something.

02:25:04.000 Yeah.

02:25:04.000 You know, if you actually had, like, a thing in front of you that you would hit.

02:25:07.000 Yeah, like a heavy bag.

02:25:08.000 Right, because right now it's not that way.

02:25:11.000 Right now it's just air.

02:25:13.000 So you're just swinging in air.

02:25:14.000 Right.

02:25:14.000 And it's like, poof, poof!

02:25:16.000 Like, when you hit it, it makes noise.

02:25:17.000 If you had the goggles on and a heavy bag in front of you.

02:25:20.000 It might hurt yourself.

02:25:20.000 And you see it and poof, poof, poof.

02:25:21.000 You might hurt yourself.

02:25:39.000 If you ever hit a water bag, they're really good because there's weight to them, but they don't have the same impact.

02:25:47.000 Sometimes people have a problem with actual heavy bags because the impact is so jarring on your joints.

02:25:54.000 If you hit hard, especially.

02:25:55.000 Like Roy Jones was here yesterday and he was talking about it.

02:25:58.000 He hits these little paddles.

02:26:00.000 Instead of like regular mitts.

02:26:03.000 Because he hits so hard, like he doesn't want to hurt his hands.

02:26:06.000 So he's like...

02:26:07.000 And so he's just whipping into these paddles.

02:26:11.000 And the paddles offer very little resistance to just make this slap.

02:26:14.000 Right.

02:26:15.000 Just for the quickness of it.

02:26:16.000 Yes, yes.

02:26:17.000 So if you could have something like that, maybe, where you hit it, but it's not hurting you.

02:26:24.000 It's got it.

02:26:25.000 It just seems like the fun part of it, of you being able to go against legends.

02:26:31.000 That's got to be a thing.

02:26:32.000 Someone's already done it.

02:26:33.000 Someone's making this on their own.

02:26:34.000 I just found this is a test they made.

02:26:37.000 Oh, so it shows you the spots to hit.

02:26:39.000 Yeah, that would be what you would want, right?

02:26:41.000 Yes, that's a great idea.

02:26:42.000 That's a great idea.

02:26:43.000 Does that bag look like it's set up right?

02:26:45.000 Well, the bag is actually virtual, right?

02:26:47.000 So, like, there's a virtual bag, but then a physical bag.

02:26:50.000 So the virtual bag, what the goggles are doing is picking up on the actual position of the real bag.

02:26:56.000 So when you're hitting it, even with these fake gloves, the distance is correct.

02:27:00.000 So if you're seeing the way this guy...

02:27:01.000 Look at the video.

02:27:03.000 The way this...

02:27:03.000 Oh, now he's punching the wall?

02:27:05.000 Oh, that's a makawara.

02:27:08.000 So there, he's just doing that for reflexes.

02:27:10.000 Go back to the bag part, though.

02:27:11.000 Let me see the bag part again.

02:27:12.000 Now, if you could make that square...

02:27:14.000 But see how he's hitting it?

02:27:15.000 Like, he knows where the bag is.

02:27:17.000 He's hitting it in the correct distance.

02:27:19.000 So it's showing him accurately where the bag is.

02:27:23.000 As he moves forward, it's representing where the bag is.

02:27:27.000 Pretty dope.

02:27:28.000 Yeah, they're getting there.

02:27:29.000 It's gonna come, right?

02:27:30.000 I mean...

02:27:31.000 Yeah, come on. 0.77

02:27:33.000 Be able to run against Carl Lewis.

02:27:35.000 That would be pretty cool stuff.

02:27:37.000 I don't know about all that.

02:27:38.000 Come on, man.

02:27:38.000 Make it a little fun.

02:27:40.000 But the Peloton, for my thing, it's been good.

02:27:44.000 Yeah.

02:27:44.000 But if they could combine something like...

02:27:48.000 See if you can find that omnidirectional treadmill plus VR game.

02:27:54.000 Because there was a thing that they were doing.

02:27:55.000 I don't remember what the game was.

02:27:57.000 They were working on it.

02:27:58.000 I'm pretty sure it was in beta.

02:28:00.000 And they were just trying to figure out how to do it.

02:28:02.000 But they wanted to do it with Quake or Doom or one of those 3D shooters where you'd be running with a plastic gun.

02:28:08.000 And you run down and shoot at things.

02:28:10.000 It seems like that's like the gyms of the future.

02:28:12.000 Like get in a kayak and you're going down a roaring river.

02:28:15.000 Sure.

02:28:15.000 You know what I mean?

02:28:16.000 Like all that running through the mountains.

02:28:19.000 Yeah.

02:28:19.000 That's probably where the gyms are going to head.

02:28:21.000 Or how about you're running and like wolves are chasing you?

02:28:24.000 Yeah.

02:28:25.000 You're on this treadmill and you turn around VR and you see like glowing eyes of wolves.

02:28:29.000 Yeah, this is probably the best looking one I saw used.

02:28:31.000 There's a couple different ones I remember seeing.

02:28:33.000 That's an omnidirectional treadmill as well?

02:28:35.000 Yeah, so I remember the one you were talking about was a little concave, I think, right?

02:28:39.000 It was circular.

02:28:40.000 Okay, so this straps you in the same way, but the way the ground moves can go all directions.

02:28:47.000 Let me see this guy get in there. 0.99

02:28:51.000 Oh, what?

02:28:52.000 He's got goggles on.

02:28:54.000 Look at that.

02:28:54.000 He's a robot.

02:28:55.000 Oh, that's so dope.

02:28:56.000 Look at that.

02:28:58.000 He's pretty...

02:28:58.000 So is he harnessed into that treadmill?

02:29:01.000 He's not.

02:29:02.000 No.

02:29:02.000 His avatar looks like a robot.

02:29:05.000 Oh, so it does go...

02:29:06.000 That's for tracking.

02:29:07.000 That little thing on the back.

02:29:08.000 Right.

02:29:10.000 So it seems like it's...

02:29:13.000 Oh, that's so awkward.

02:29:14.000 They just need to get that better.

02:29:16.000 Yeah, it's the beginnings of it.

02:29:18.000 Or really, what you really could get is like...

02:29:21.000 This one he is strapped in.

02:29:23.000 Look at that!

02:29:24.000 Yeah, so that's what I'm talking about.

02:29:25.000 Yeah, now he's in Inception.

02:29:26.000 He's walking down the street in Inception.

02:29:29.000 So is that a treadmill?

02:29:30.000 Yep, that's a treadmill.

02:29:31.000 It's a little treadmill.

02:29:32.000 That's what I'm talking about.

02:29:33.000 Something like that where you're strapped into an omnidirectional treadmill.

02:29:37.000 That looks like you'd fall off it.

02:29:38.000 Look how dope that is. 1.00

02:29:39.000 Oh, he's strapped in.

02:29:41.000 Yeah, so he can kind of move anywhere.

02:29:43.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

02:29:44.000 We're getting there, kids.

02:29:45.000 We're getting there.

02:29:45.000 Come on, bro.

02:29:46.000 How badass is this?

02:29:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:29:48.000 And if you had ankle weights on and wrist weights, what a fucking workout you would get. 0.99

02:29:53.000 That would be pretty... 1.00

02:29:53.000 You would work out so much, you would die. 1.00

02:29:56.000 I don't know if you'd die.

02:29:57.000 Because you'd be so into the game.

02:29:59.000 Yeah, you'd be so into it.

02:30:01.000 Yeah, you'd come back six months later.

02:30:02.000 It'd be addicting.

02:30:02.000 Like, what happened?

02:30:03.000 Tom, you got a fucking six-pack? 1.00

02:30:04.000 What's going on? 1.00

02:30:05.000 Yeah, you'd want to play for like hours and hours, right?

02:30:09.000 I got really into Boomzats on the VR. Boomzats!

02:30:15.000 It's a good name, Boomzats. 0.99

02:30:18.000 Yeah, I mean, you can figure out a way to turn your addiction into something positive, right?

02:30:23.000 Yeah, now you're talking.

02:30:24.000 The best way to do it for those video game guys is to become a professional gamer.

02:30:28.000 Or you can actually make a shitload of money playing professional games.

02:30:32.000 But if you could figure out a way for regular people that have no desire to do that, to use it as recreation and then get fit.

02:30:39.000 Because I know a lot of people got fit with Dance Dance Revolution.

02:30:42.000 It's no joke.

02:30:43.000 No joke.

02:30:43.000 I was exhausting.

02:30:45.000 My girls were little at the time and we're dancing and doing that thing.

02:30:49.000 It was like...

02:30:50.000 I had to sit down on the couch. 0.99

02:30:51.000 Dude, sometimes you go to an arcade, like at a bowling alley or something, you watch some dude who's like an expert at that shit, and you're like, oh, okay. 0.99

02:30:58.000 You're river dancing. 0.99

02:30:59.000 You're like one of those guys.

02:31:01.000 Remember those river dance commercials?

02:31:03.000 Yeah.

02:31:03.000 There was a funny...

02:31:04.000 Wasn't it like a Nick Swartzen movie?

02:31:07.000 Was he river dancing?

02:31:08.000 He was really good at that, and that dance revolution in the arcade.

02:31:11.000 He was like real intense at it.

02:31:12.000 Was it a Sandler movie?

02:31:13.000 I think so.

02:31:14.000 That he was in, maybe?

02:31:15.000 I think so.

02:31:15.000 Yeah.

02:31:16.000 But yeah, no, that stuff, yeah.

02:31:17.000 You're playing the Wii when we do the Wii and play tennis and all that stuff together.

02:31:21.000 You're moving!

02:31:22.000 What happened?

02:31:22.000 This one can hold your...

02:31:23.000 I was going to see around her.

02:31:25.000 Look, she's swimming! 0.99

02:31:25.000 Look at that! 0.99

02:31:26.000 That first one I showed you, it said it weighed 1,000 pounds.

02:31:29.000 So that gets into, like, it's going to be an issue getting them into a place where you could use it.

02:31:35.000 Uh-huh.

02:31:36.000 This is a little smaller.

02:31:37.000 I don't even know.

02:31:37.000 This is called Silvercord, I guess.

02:31:39.000 She's kicking things.

02:31:40.000 It's holding her weight up.

02:31:41.000 This is wild.

02:31:42.000 She's doing the breaststroke.

02:31:43.000 That's pretty crazy.

02:31:44.000 Hung out in the air doing the breaststroke.

02:31:46.000 That is wild.

02:31:47.000 That's cool.

02:31:48.000 Because if you can walk in VR, I feel like the next step is you're going to want to be able to jump, and if you can't physically jump, you have to hit a button to jump.

02:31:55.000 That pulls you right back out.

02:31:57.000 Right, you can jump and land on things like bam.

02:32:01.000 Wow.

02:32:02.000 Oh my goodness.

02:32:03.000 They're getting there.

02:32:04.000 Yeah.

02:32:05.000 But it just seems like it's a perfect sort of mesh, the perfect mixing of a healthy activity with an addictive activity.

02:32:15.000 Right.

02:32:16.000 Like, you can turn a positive into a negative, because the negative has always been, for me at least, they're just a massive waste of my time.

02:32:23.000 I get crazy with video games. 0.99

02:32:24.000 I can't fuck with them. 1.00

02:32:25.000 I know. 1.00

02:32:26.000 Like, Jamie and I talked about it, like, with the new place.

02:32:28.000 Like, when we go to Texas, we're gonna bring the video games?

02:32:30.000 Like, no!

02:32:31.000 No!

02:32:32.000 I can't.

02:32:33.000 I just can't.

02:32:34.000 Because you can't just play a little bit?

02:32:35.000 No.

02:32:36.000 To me, it's like a cocaine addict.

02:32:38.000 I came in one day when you were in that back room playing, and you were in a frenzy.

02:32:45.000 I was like, I'm just going to wait over here.

02:32:47.000 You were like...

02:32:48.000 Well, they're so fun.

02:32:51.000 They're so good.

02:32:52.000 And they're so well...

02:32:52.000 I mean, it's too good.

02:32:54.000 It's too exciting.

02:32:55.000 Right.

02:32:56.000 It really is.

02:32:57.000 It's too good.

02:32:59.000 And you had really high-tech stuff.

02:33:01.000 Yeah.

02:33:01.000 Well, the graphics today are just amazing.

02:33:04.000 What they can do today with video games is just so special.

02:33:08.000 When people get shot, they explode.

02:33:10.000 You see blood splatter all over the place.

02:33:12.000 And they don't look like people either, right?

02:33:15.000 They look like ogres with mechanical arms.

02:33:18.000 And so they make noise like...

02:33:22.000 If only you could do it for 20 minutes and be satisfied.

02:33:25.000 Yeah, please.

02:33:26.000 It'd be good.

02:33:26.000 Well, the way to do it would be to make sure that you get exhausted doing it, right?

02:33:30.000 Right.

02:33:31.000 So that you could only play because you're running on this omnidirectional treadmill.

02:33:35.000 Right.

02:33:35.000 And if you did that, like, put, like, 10-pound weights on your arms.

02:33:39.000 Yeah.

02:33:39.000 10-pound weights on each arm, 10-pound weights on each leg.

02:33:42.000 Bro, you'd be beat.

02:33:43.000 Yeah.

02:33:43.000 You'd be beaten down.

02:33:44.000 Even 5 pounds. 1.00

02:33:46.000 Fuck even a pound. 1.00

02:33:47.000 No, I know. 1.00

02:33:48.000 It's a lot.

02:33:49.000 A pound on each limb. 0.99

02:33:49.000 If they just made you simulate carrying the guns you're running around in the game with, you'd be tired as shit. 0.99

02:33:53.000 Right. 0.99

02:33:54.000 That's a real good point.

02:33:55.000 Right?

02:33:56.000 Give you a real metal thing.

02:33:58.000 Like a heavy metal gun with a trigger.

02:34:01.000 Yeah.

02:34:02.000 Like a fucking cannon. 1.00

02:34:04.000 Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. 1.00

02:34:05.000 With something that kicks.

02:34:06.000 Body armor plus body armor plus your pack.

02:34:08.000 Haptic feedback.

02:34:09.000 The whole deal.

02:34:10.000 You get hit.

02:34:11.000 You get zapped a little bit.

02:34:15.000 Have you ever seen...

02:34:16.000 You know what Sandbox is?

02:34:17.000 No.

02:34:18.000 Dude.

02:34:19.000 Sandbox is a very similar situation.

02:34:21.000 It's a VR game that you go to a warehouse, and they have it set up so you have the parameters of the game, and you put on a haptic feedback vest, you have VR goggles, and they hand you guns and all these different things, and then you go and you duke it out with zombies.

02:34:36.000 There's this one, Deadwood Mansion, it's called.

02:34:40.000 See if you find the dead.

02:34:41.000 See, this is what it looks like.

02:34:44.000 I've done this a bunch of times with my family.

02:34:46.000 It's awesome.

02:34:47.000 It's awesome.

02:34:48.000 With your family?

02:34:49.000 Yeah, you do it.

02:34:50.000 You do it together, and you have fun.

02:34:52.000 You go missions together.

02:34:54.000 You shoot aliens and zombies.

02:34:56.000 And you feel like you're all in that reality?

02:34:58.000 I mean, come on.

02:34:59.000 Kind of.

02:35:00.000 It's obviously fake, but it looks like that.

02:35:02.000 When you see the video of it, it looks like that.

02:35:04.000 But it looks good.

02:35:05.000 It's really cool.

02:35:06.000 It's certainly discernible.

02:35:08.000 This is Deadwood Mansion.

02:35:09.000 So the zombies come running at you and you gun them down.

02:35:11.000 Look at them.

02:35:12.000 Ah!

02:35:12.000 Dude, it freaks you out.

02:35:13.000 And you get a shotgun.

02:35:15.000 Apparently that's the new update.

02:35:16.000 You get a shotgun with the Deadwood Mansion. 1.00

02:35:19.000 But they're running at you and you're fucking gunning them down. 1.00

02:35:21.000 Look at them. 1.00

02:35:21.000 That's what they look like. 1.00

02:35:22.000 Blah, blah, blah.

02:35:24.000 And like, does someone die?

02:35:26.000 Yeah, you die.

02:35:26.000 Does your wife go down and she's out of the game and you guys keep going?

02:35:29.000 No, she's not out of the game.

02:35:30.000 You can bring her back to life, but you have to hold onto her shoulder and you recharge her with your energy.

02:35:34.000 That's pretty great.

02:35:35.000 So when you see them, when they're down, they turn black and white.

02:35:38.000 And then when you grab them, you go, and you bring them back to life.

02:35:41.000 And you, when you get killed, you see in black and white, so you know you're dead.

02:35:44.000 I have not gone, but I'm wondering, have your kids or have you ever gone with them to like a...

02:35:50.000 VR haunted house, or does that exist yet?

02:35:52.000 Because if it doesn't, that's going to be...

02:35:55.000 Yeah.

02:35:55.000 They probably can't do it this year, obviously, but...

02:35:57.000 Right.

02:35:58.000 Good call.

02:35:58.000 Of course.

02:35:59.000 That would be great.

02:36:00.000 That would be a good call.

02:36:01.000 Really creepy.

02:36:02.000 Walk around an entire place that's made for it.

02:36:04.000 Well, they had, at Universal, they had a Walking Dead attraction, and they had actors...

02:36:09.000 And so they had people, like, full-on Walking Dead makeup.

02:36:12.000 And, like, some of it was, like, mechanical, and some of it was, like...

02:36:15.000 In the haunted house?

02:36:16.000 Yeah, and they would come out...

02:36:17.000 But it was, like, a real person. 1.00

02:36:19.000 You're like, fuck! 1.00

02:36:20.000 I walked through that. 1.00

02:36:21.000 My daughter lost a flip-flop, and I had to go back for it.

02:36:25.000 LAUGHTER She ran and left her flip-flop?

02:36:28.000 She left her flip-flop.

02:36:29.000 She was probably 10. Oh my god, you brought her in at 10?

02:36:32.000 And she was too scared to go back, so I had to go back and get it.

02:36:35.000 Pardon me.

02:36:36.000 Right.

02:36:37.000 And everybody thought I was a thing.

02:36:38.000 All the other people, I'm just walking through looking for this flip-flop.

02:36:42.000 Here's the scariest one yet!

02:36:44.000 Scary dad!

02:36:45.000 Oh my god, it's that guy from Italy.

02:36:47.000 Yeah, it was so funny.

02:36:49.000 What's his name again?

02:36:50.000 Carlo Verdone.

02:36:51.000 It's Carlo!

02:36:53.000 Verdone!

02:36:53.000 He's dead!

02:36:55.000 He's dead. 1.00

02:36:56.000 He's coming for to kill us. 1.00

02:36:57.000 Carlo, we miss you. 0.95

02:36:58.000 And I got the...

02:36:59.000 And I found it.

02:37:00.000 Found the flip-flop.

02:37:01.000 Came back like a hero.

02:37:02.000 Oh.

02:37:02.000 Congratulations.

02:37:04.000 Boy, what a low bar there is for being a hero in 2020. Did you get the flip-flop, you fucking hero? 1.00

02:37:11.000 I got the flip-flop. 1.00

02:37:13.000 I did it.

02:37:15.000 Oh, man.

02:37:16.000 I feel like things will probably get weirder before they correct themselves, right?

02:37:22.000 See, look at this.

02:37:23.000 This is the constant narrative.

02:37:24.000 We're having a good time, and it goes back to COVID. I wasn't even thinking COVID. I was thinking, like, aliens coming or Halloween decorations coming to life and hunting us down.

02:37:35.000 There's a couple more curveballs waiting for us.

02:37:39.000 Well, the Trump getting COVID, I thought was like, wow, this movie's lit.

02:37:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:37:43.000 I was like, this is a crazy fucking simulation, whatever we chose. 0.99

02:37:48.000 Because I'm like, if he dies, that's what I was thinking. 0.99

02:37:51.000 If he dies and Nancy Pelosi becomes president and Pence and Pelosi are battling over who wears the crown...

02:37:56.000 Oh, God.

02:37:57.000 I know.

02:37:58.000 I mean, that was really what could have happened.

02:38:00.000 Yeah.

02:38:00.000 I mean, Pence would have become vice president, would have become president, but then- Then he gets it.

02:38:06.000 What happens when they're, you know, a month later is the election, right?

02:38:10.000 I know.

02:38:11.000 And then the election is not going to be, we're going to find out November 4th who the winner is.

02:38:16.000 Yeah.

02:38:16.000 It's going to be weeks, if not months.

02:38:18.000 Unless it's a landslide.

02:38:19.000 Months.

02:38:19.000 But I don't think you're going to see a landslide.

02:38:22.000 If it's a landslide, then you'll find out that night or the next day.

02:38:25.000 I don't believe that's true.

02:38:27.000 If it's not a landslide, then...

02:38:29.000 If it's a landslide, I'm sorry, if it's a landslide with in-person voting.

02:38:32.000 Right, but it's not going to be.

02:38:34.000 It's going to be so many mail-in ballots.

02:38:36.000 You don't know.

02:38:37.000 I don't know.

02:38:38.000 Well, you know everything.

02:38:39.000 You told me already.

02:38:40.000 But I have to pretend that I don't, so the conversation keeps going.

02:38:43.000 What do you think is going to happen?

02:38:44.000 Who do you think is going to win?

02:38:46.000 I don't know.

02:38:48.000 I don't know.

02:38:48.000 I mean, they're saying that Biden's up like 16 points.

02:38:51.000 But I mean, we've been through this before, right?

02:38:53.000 It was 96% chance that Hillary was going to win. 1.00

02:38:56.000 So I can't look at any of those.

02:38:58.000 Biden is up in polls. 1.00

02:39:00.000 Polls are only answered by people so fucking stupid to answer polls. 1.00

02:39:05.000 You always have to take that into consideration. 1.00

02:39:07.000 Here's what I say to people.

02:39:08.000 Have you ever responded to a poll?

02:39:10.000 Right.

02:39:11.000 Have you?

02:39:12.000 Nope.

02:39:12.000 There you go.

02:39:14.000 No one with a life.

02:39:15.000 It's really true. 0.99

02:39:16.000 So people who are dumb think Biden should be president. 0.99

02:39:19.000 Great. 0.99

02:39:19.000 What is the numbers we're talking about? 0.99

02:39:22.000 How many people?

02:39:23.000 Yeah, you don't know.

02:39:24.000 We only poll people with flat tires in white neighborhoods.

02:39:28.000 I do kind of...

02:39:29.000 They're waiting for AAA. It's the only time we can get them to talk to us.

02:39:34.000 Like, who's being polled?

02:39:36.000 I've never even seen a poll.

02:39:37.000 I don't know.

02:39:38.000 No one's asked me to poll.

02:39:39.000 I don't know anybody who's been asked to poll.

02:39:41.000 Nope.

02:39:42.000 Never.

02:39:43.000 I don't know if people...

02:39:46.000 I want more choices.

02:39:47.000 I think, oh yeah, that would be amazing.

02:39:48.000 That's what I want.

02:39:49.000 I want better choices.

02:39:50.000 I don't want this polarization.

02:39:51.000 I hate it.

02:39:52.000 Yeah.

02:39:52.000 No, they should put together teams of like mixed, these four people and these four people of mixed ideas and get the best ideas and then they're going to run as a platform rather than as an individual.

02:40:03.000 I think, initially, the idea of representative democracy and the idea of a Republican Party and a Democratic Party was a great idea.

02:40:13.000 But I think the problem is people form this loyalty to this side and this blind loyalty, blind loyalty to their team, and then they have confirmation bias and everything this team does that's good, that's all you focus on,

02:40:28.000 and you decide that this team's narrative is correct and you subscribe.

02:40:32.000 Full on to the ideology and the other people are the enemy and the other people are sexist and racist or the other people are Marxist and leftist or whatever you decide is wrong with the other people.

02:40:42.000 Could you imagine?

02:40:43.000 I think what I'm getting at is I think the problem is groups.

02:40:46.000 That's right. 0.95

02:40:47.000 The problem is identifying in any group, whether it's Antifa or Proud Boys or the fucking, whatever, figure out a group. 0.98

02:40:56.000 Pick a group. 0.91

02:40:57.000 The idea of identifying with a group is a terrible idea.

02:41:00.000 Terrible idea.

02:41:01.000 Could you imagine being so all in with either party?

02:41:05.000 Like, could you imagine that you're just blindly following everything they say just because they're that color?

02:41:12.000 Yeah, because I know a lot of people that do.

02:41:13.000 I know a lot of people that are all blue, all they do. 1.00

02:41:17.000 I do, too.

02:41:18.000 Up and down.

02:41:19.000 It's insane, though.

02:41:20.000 I've seen it on people's Twitter page.

02:41:21.000 I vote blue across the board.

02:41:23.000 Yeah, it's like you stop thinking.

02:41:25.000 It's just nuts.

02:41:26.000 You just stop thinking for yourself. 0.99

02:41:27.000 It's ridiculous. 0.99

02:41:28.000 And the idea that only bad people vote Republican is ridiculous, too. 1.00

02:41:33.000 Or only dumb people or weak people or bad people vote Democrat is ridiculous, too. 0.99

02:41:38.000 And this narrative gets reinforced by the fact that there are these two opposing teams. 1.00

02:41:42.000 Right.

02:41:42.000 And that you have to pick a side.

02:41:44.000 Right.

02:41:44.000 And it's also reinforced by social pressure, like your neighbors and your friends and coworkers.

02:41:49.000 And social media.

02:41:50.000 Well, and also the industry that you're in.

02:41:52.000 In certain industries, it's frowned upon to vote left.

02:41:56.000 In certain industries, it's frowned upon to vote right.

02:41:58.000 And you want to succeed in that business.

02:42:00.000 And so you sort of like, I mean, you know, how many hedge fund people?

02:42:04.000 It's got to break up at some point.

02:42:05.000 Do you think so?

02:42:06.000 Yeah, I do.

02:42:06.000 I think it has to.

02:42:07.000 I don't think...

02:42:09.000 One of the reasons I think that I don't think, if I would go out on a limb, that I think Trump is going to lose is because people just can't deal with the anxiety.

02:42:20.000 Like we were saying earlier, it can't be at a hot boil.

02:42:24.000 We've been at a hot boil for four years and people are exhausted.

02:42:27.000 They just want it to go back to someone calm. 0.99

02:42:30.000 Just calm this shit down. 0.99

02:42:32.000 Just calm it all down. 0.99

02:42:34.000 Well, it would be nice if there was someone who you thought was going to calm it down.

02:42:38.000 I don't know.

02:42:39.000 I think anybody but Trump would calm it down.

02:42:42.000 Honestly.

02:42:42.000 Really?

02:42:43.000 Yeah.

02:42:43.000 Put Romney in.

02:42:44.000 Put anybody in.

02:42:46.000 That I think.

02:42:47.000 Put anybody in.

02:42:47.000 I do think that if Romney was, he is a much more measured, much more calm guy.

02:42:53.000 Joe, compared to Trump, everybody is.

02:42:54.000 And the funny thing was against Obama, he looked like some sort of weird religious radical.

02:42:59.000 I know.

02:43:00.000 You remember?

02:43:01.000 I do.

02:43:02.000 People are like, get Romney the fuck away from us. 0.97

02:43:04.000 Right, exactly. 0.95

02:43:05.000 Romney?

02:43:05.000 I know.

02:43:05.000 You want Mitt Romney?

02:43:07.000 I'd vote for him tomorrow. 0.99

02:43:08.000 That weirdo. 0.97

02:43:09.000 I know.

02:43:10.000 That weirdo. 1.00

02:43:11.000 He's a Quaker or some shit I heard. 1.00

02:43:12.000 Yeah, he wears magic underpants. 1.00

02:43:14.000 He wears magic underpants.

02:43:15.000 We can't have him in there.

02:43:16.000 He's a Mormon.

02:43:18.000 I know.

02:43:19.000 Just a gentleman.

02:43:20.000 Just a gentleman who has a nice family who's just mellow.

02:43:23.000 He's in a really nice cult.

02:43:25.000 If you're going to be in a cult, the Mormons are the nicest cult members. 1.00

02:43:28.000 So nice.

02:43:29.000 They're the kindest, sweetest people.

02:43:31.000 They're so nice.

02:43:32.000 They're really family-oriented.

02:43:33.000 Oh, my God.

02:43:34.000 And all the cult members, I had neighbors that were Mormons. 0.94

02:43:36.000 All kidding aside.

02:43:37.000 They were so kind.

02:43:38.000 They were so friendly.

02:43:39.000 A hundred percent.

02:43:40.000 So nice.

02:43:41.000 Delightful.

02:43:42.000 Yes.

02:43:42.000 I'm not kidding.

02:43:43.000 Genuinely nice.

02:43:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:43:45.000 They believe the dumbest shit. 1.00

02:43:46.000 I mean, it was like when you talk to them about what they believe, like, oh my goodness. 1.00

02:43:49.000 Yeah, God bless.

02:43:50.000 But you're like, who cares?

02:43:50.000 God bless.

02:43:51.000 Who cares?

02:43:51.000 I'm not being friendly.

02:43:52.000 Joseph Smith was how old?

02:43:54.000 14?

02:43:54.000 Yeah!

02:43:55.000 He found golden tablets contained the lost work of Jesus and only he could read it because he had a magic rock?

02:43:59.000 Is that what you're saying?

02:44:00.000 Yeah.

02:44:00.000 I don't care about that part of him.

02:44:02.000 I just care about how he acts in the parking lot with me.

02:44:04.000 I was just down in Salt Lake a couple weeks ago, and I was driving on the street, and I saw these two dudes with white shirts with ties on, with a clipboard, walking door to door.

02:44:14.000 I'm like, God bless him.

02:44:15.000 Yeah, you gotta go out and do it.

02:44:17.000 Literally, God bless him.

02:44:18.000 I know, exactly.

02:44:19.000 Worse things in the world than that.

02:44:21.000 There's worse things in the world than that.

02:44:22.000 100%.

02:44:22.000 And I don't care about what they're into.

02:44:24.000 Just mellow it out.

02:44:26.000 And I honestly do believe that you can take almost anybody that's in office and run them, and it'll be more mellow.

02:44:33.000 They may not agree with everything that they're doing, but it will just turn this temperature down.

02:44:37.000 And I don't think people...

02:44:38.000 I think people are exhausted.

02:44:40.000 They're exhausted.

02:44:41.000 We can't live at this pace, at this level, at this nonsense.

02:44:45.000 But you think this is all because of...

02:44:47.000 I think a lot of this, when you go back to the social dilemma, I think a lot of this is going to happen no matter what. 1.00

02:44:52.000 I think Trump is a particularly polarizing figure because he's got that fuck you attitude and you come at him, he comes at you harder. 1.00

02:45:00.000 He's just a battler, right? 1.00

02:45:02.000 It's more than a battler.

02:45:03.000 It doesn't help anything.

02:45:04.000 There's no soothing from him.

02:45:06.000 There's none.

02:45:07.000 That's your job as a leader.

02:45:09.000 But I think we would be polarized no matter what right now.

02:45:11.000 There's definitely lines drawn.

02:45:13.000 We're definitely polarized.

02:45:14.000 But if it's at the top...

02:45:17.000 You had a real Republican just saying, chill out, let's go to work on this stuff.

02:45:23.000 Like who?

02:45:23.000 Give me an example.

02:45:24.000 It wouldn't be this heightened thing.

02:45:25.000 Give me an example.

02:45:26.000 Other than the cult member.

02:45:28.000 Other than Romney?

02:45:29.000 Is there anybody out there that stands out as someone that you would want to be representing that side?

02:45:34.000 I don't know.

02:45:35.000 Kasich was kind of normal.

02:45:38.000 Yeah, he seems normal.

02:45:39.000 Yeah.

02:45:40.000 I like that guy.

02:45:41.000 He seems measured.

02:45:42.000 Yeah, he seems like he's just going to be a grown-up.

02:45:44.000 Just be an adult.

02:45:45.000 Just give me a mellow adult.

02:45:47.000 He's going to do the right things.

02:45:48.000 I'm waiting for Dan Crenshaw.

02:45:50.000 Crenshaw?

02:45:50.000 Yeah.

02:45:51.000 I don't know that.

02:45:52.000 He's been on the podcast several times.

02:45:54.000 Oh, yeah.

02:45:54.000 Navy SEAL. Lost an eye in combat.

02:45:56.000 Oh, yeah.

02:45:57.000 Oklahoma.

02:45:58.000 No, Texas.

02:45:59.000 He's in Houston.

02:46:01.000 Yeah.

02:46:01.000 Okay.

02:46:01.000 Great guy.

02:46:03.000 Super, super, like, reasonable, intelligent, rational, well thought out.

02:46:09.000 Really enjoy talking to him.

02:46:10.000 That's good.

02:46:11.000 Really enjoy talking to him.

02:46:12.000 I'm gonna look him up.

02:46:13.000 He makes sense.

02:46:13.000 I don't always necessarily agree with him, nor do I think I should.

02:46:17.000 I think there's a, I mean, there's room for disagreement.

02:46:21.000 100%.

02:46:21.000 But the way he communicates is very rational, very sensible, very intelligent.

02:46:27.000 And the man is like a legitimate American hero.

02:46:30.000 Yeah.

02:46:32.000 That guy in that office shouldn't be as frantic and stuff as anybody on the edges.

02:46:38.000 You know what I mean?

02:46:39.000 That guy's got to be the measured adult that kind of takes in all of those people and makes sense of it and translates it and leads and Keeps us all united, makes everybody...

02:46:50.000 The most upsetting part of this run has been just turning Americans on Americans.

02:46:55.000 That's never happened in my life, where we're making each other the enemy, and we're not.

02:47:00.000 You and you tour, and you see people, they're not at each other's throats.

02:47:03.000 They just want to raise their kids, make their money, live their lives.

02:47:08.000 We're not the enemy.

02:47:09.000 And painting others...

02:47:12.000 Other Americans as a threat, as a foreign threat, has been so upsetting.

02:47:18.000 Who's doing that?

02:47:19.000 Trump.

02:47:20.000 How's he doing that?

02:47:22.000 Painting other Americans as a foreign threat?

02:47:24.000 Yeah, constantly says that the left is...

02:47:27.000 Just out to destroy, and those people...

02:47:29.000 I mean, everything he says is painting it that way.

02:47:33.000 Well, it's not everything he says, for sure.

02:47:35.000 You kind of might be exaggerating a little bit there.

02:47:37.000 Well, I mean, it's always inflaming, and it's always... 0.97

02:47:41.000 He runs as...

02:47:42.000 There's no foreign power is the enemy. 0.72

02:47:45.000 It's the others in this country are the enemy.

02:47:48.000 Well, he does think China's the enemy.

02:47:49.000 He does think there's real issues with China.

02:47:51.000 That's true.

02:47:52.000 And I think there are real issues economically with China.

02:47:55.000 Yeah, I don't understand any of that.

02:47:57.000 It's all above our pay grade, right?

02:47:59.000 Yeah, I don't understand any of that.

02:48:00.000 I don't understand the nuance of... 0.98

02:48:02.000 We're a couple of touring joke-slingers talking shit about global politics. 0.96

02:48:06.000 But I do know when somebody is turning us against each other, and he likes doing that. 0.98

02:48:11.000 Well, he certainly likes the battle, you know, and that was what I admired most about Obama, was that the way he commanded respect was just with grace.

02:48:23.000 The way he handled himself at press conferences, the way he discussed things, he was very measured.

02:48:29.000 Even when he was attacked, you know, he would be measured.

02:48:32.000 Yeah.

02:48:33.000 He was a statesman.

02:48:34.000 Right.

02:48:35.000 Cool.

02:48:36.000 Yeah.

02:48:36.000 Just keep your head.

02:48:37.000 That's what we need.

02:48:38.000 And it makes us all come down.

02:48:39.000 Yes.

02:48:40.000 That's what we need, really, legitimately.

02:48:41.000 If the dad in the house is an alcoholic and he comes home and you don't know who's coming in that day, is he going to attack me or is he going to...

02:48:50.000 Everyone's nervous.

02:48:52.000 Yeah.

02:48:52.000 And that's kind of the way the country feels.

02:48:55.000 Yeah.

02:48:55.000 If dad just comes home and he's home at six and just has dinner and watches the ball game and he just sits there and he's nice.

02:49:01.000 I like your simplistic way of describing.

02:49:03.000 I don't think it's accurate, but I understand what you're saying.

02:49:05.000 But it's an analogy.

02:49:06.000 It's an analogy.

02:49:07.000 I think we all need to get on mushrooms.

02:49:09.000 I really do.

02:49:10.000 I think we need mushroom rituals.

02:49:11.000 When's the last time you took mushrooms?

02:49:13.000 A couple weeks ago.

02:49:14.000 A couple weeks ago?

02:49:15.000 Yeah.

02:49:15.000 Well, I've been to Texas, so more than a couple weeks.

02:49:18.000 Where'd you do it?

02:49:18.000 What was the atmosphere?

02:49:19.000 My studio.

02:49:21.000 I did some during the Post Malone podcast.

02:49:25.000 You did?

02:49:26.000 Yeah, we did Mushrooms together.

02:49:27.000 I didn't know that.

02:49:28.000 Yeah.

02:49:29.000 Really?

02:49:30.000 Yeah, I think...

02:49:31.000 Did you get giggly in the middle of the podcast? 0.97

02:49:33.000 Yeah, we got pretty silly. 0.61

02:49:34.000 Oh, I gotta listen to that.

02:49:35.000 I think people need something that connects them to some sense that there's something more to life.

02:49:46.000 Than just what we're experiencing in front of us.

02:49:49.000 I've said it before and I'll say it again.

02:49:51.000 We need some religious ritual. 0.93

02:49:52.000 We need something that transcends...

02:49:55.000 Transcendental meditation.

02:49:57.000 Yeah.

02:49:58.000 I'm not kidding.

02:49:59.000 I know, you're into that.

02:50:00.000 But I don't like the results with you.

02:50:02.000 I'm not impressed, so...

02:50:07.000 It hasn't really been compelling.

02:50:09.000 I see what you're saying, but I'm like, yeah.

02:50:11.000 I'm not buying it.

02:50:13.000 Guy's over there just drinking pour over and sitting on his couch thinking all is awesome.

02:50:17.000 Complaining about Trump.

02:50:18.000 I don't see any enlightenment over there.

02:50:24.000 It's...

02:50:24.000 Him and Frank on the couch.

02:50:25.000 Me and Frank hanging out.

02:50:28.000 Making bread.

02:50:29.000 But it is that thing that you're talking about.

02:50:30.000 It's the same thing that drugs access.

02:50:33.000 It's the same thing that religion runs after, but without any dogma, without any leaders, without any thing.

02:50:39.000 Clarity.

02:50:40.000 It's just a kind of a sense, a growing sense as you do it over time, that there is...

02:50:46.000 A bigger consciousness that there's something that is more compelling and more uniting with all of us than what we're shown on the surface.

02:50:55.000 Well, I've been doing a lot of breath exercises, breathing exercises.

02:50:59.000 I do these, the one that I enjoy the most because it puts me in kind of a trance.

02:51:04.000 It's six long seconds in, six deep breaths, like a six-second deep breath, and a six-second exhale.

02:51:10.000 And I just do this in a cycle.

02:51:12.000 So I count one, two, three, four, five, six.

02:51:15.000 One, two, three, four, five, six.

02:51:18.000 And I do it like I try to be as honest as I can, but the most important thing is to get it rhythmic.

02:51:23.000 So six seconds in, six seconds out, six seconds.

02:51:27.000 And dude, it's crazy.

02:51:29.000 I'll sit there and I'll think...

02:51:31.000 10 minutes has gone by and it's 45 minutes later.

02:51:33.000 Wow.

02:51:34.000 Yeah.

02:51:34.000 And I'll check because I set a timer when I do it and I just decide at a certain point in time to stop.

02:51:40.000 And it's anxiety scrubbing. 0.93

02:51:44.000 It's like I'm cleaning my mind of extraneous bullshit that's not... 0.84

02:51:51.000 It's just things that are not necessary that are getting in the way of like noise. 0.96

02:51:57.000 Crackling life noise.

02:51:59.000 Like...

02:52:00.000 I'm very busy, right? 1.00

02:52:03.000 I do a lot of shit. 0.99

02:52:04.000 I've got a lot of things going on and I have this mind that tries to find things to think about. 1.00

02:52:11.000 I'll lie in bed and I'll get a thought in my head about asteroids.

02:52:17.000 Or something nutty that I don't need to think about right now.

02:52:20.000 Or I'll think about the volcanoes under Yellowstone.

02:52:24.000 What happens if one does erupt?

02:52:26.000 How does one deal with that? 0.96

02:52:27.000 And then all of a sudden it's fucking two hours later and I'm lying in bed consumed with this thought. 0.98

02:52:33.000 The brain goes after it. 0.99

02:52:34.000 Yeah.

02:52:36.000 For me, the best way to stay present is through these breathing exercises.

02:52:40.000 I found it's a great relief to me.

02:52:43.000 And that's the way I describe it, anxiety scrubbing.

02:52:47.000 Scrubs away.

02:52:48.000 Yeah, that's very similar to the way I describe it.

02:52:52.000 Yours is, you have a mantra, right?

02:52:54.000 I have a mantra.

02:52:55.000 And you just keep repeating that mantra, and it just gives your brain a cue, basically.

02:53:02.000 It's going to start thinking about this and going a little deeper and leaving all of that stuff up here.

02:53:08.000 Leaving all of that dates and anxiety and all that stuff that you're thinking about here in the world that you need to think about.

02:53:15.000 But it's just giving your brain...

02:53:18.000 Permission, like a little portal to go to a different state of consciousness.

02:53:24.000 Right, right.

02:53:24.000 And you just kind of hang there.

02:53:26.000 And sometimes it's still busy, the thoughts will still kind of come in, but 20 minutes pops off and you come out and it's exactly what you're describing.

02:53:35.000 You've scrubbed your...

02:53:36.000 Nervous system free.

02:53:39.000 You reset.

02:53:39.000 You reset the computer.

02:53:41.000 I think we operate too much on momentum, and I think thoughts and little ideas, maybe anxiety, they cling to you as you're going along, and then they're stuck with you.

02:53:53.000 And then you've got all these things that are stuck with you, whether it's bills or relationships or struggle or commitments, things you have to do, things you have to resolve, things that you're...

02:54:07.000 The news.

02:54:09.000 Requirements of you.

02:54:10.000 Things.

02:54:11.000 All these different things, focal points of attention.

02:54:14.000 And you can carry them around like weights.

02:54:16.000 Yeah.

02:54:17.000 And what the meditation does, it doesn't make those disappear, but it makes you able to carry those.

02:54:27.000 There's a different perspective in carrying all that.

02:54:29.000 It cleans. 0.99

02:54:30.000 For me, I feel like if my brain was like a cylinder, like a standing cylinder, it would have all this shit stuck to it all over the place. 1.00

02:54:39.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:54:39.000 That maybe I don't need to be aware of all the time. 0.99

02:54:42.000 Yeah.

02:54:42.000 Because it doesn't help.

02:54:43.000 No.

02:54:43.000 Right?

02:54:44.000 No.

02:54:44.000 But these breathing exercises for me allows me...

02:54:47.000 I really do go into a trance.

02:54:49.000 Mm-hmm.

02:54:49.000 It's really strange.

02:54:50.000 And I like the fact that I'm doing a breath exercise as well.

02:54:55.000 So it's meditation, but it's also breathing.

02:54:59.000 Yeah.

02:54:59.000 It's like both things are happening at the same time.

02:55:01.000 So there's an exercise aspect to it.

02:55:03.000 Because breathing exercise is like...

02:55:05.000 When you're sitting there, I'm like, here.

02:55:06.000 This is what I'm doing.

02:55:07.000 Yeah.

02:55:22.000 How long is he going to do it?

02:55:24.000 I keep going.

02:55:25.000 I'll do that for 45 minutes.

02:55:27.000 Right.

02:55:27.000 But exactly at that pace.

02:55:28.000 Right.

02:55:29.000 And when I'm doing it like that, it does...

02:55:31.000 Physically.

02:55:32.000 ...puts me into a trance.

02:55:33.000 Yeah.

02:55:33.000 But it's also an exercise for my lungs.

02:55:36.000 Right.

02:55:36.000 Yeah, the breathing thing is good.

02:55:37.000 It's heavy.

02:55:38.000 Yeah.

02:55:39.000 You need to do it because there's a lot to carry for all of us, for every single person.

02:55:44.000 No, mine's pretty light.

02:55:46.000 All the things we talked about today.

02:55:47.000 It's pretty light.

02:55:51.000 It's all pretty light.

02:55:52.000 What about the bread?

02:55:53.000 The bread's going well.

02:55:55.000 Bread is meditation.

02:55:56.000 It is a little bit, right?

02:55:58.000 Yeah, and I'm not kidding.

02:55:58.000 It's probably in a craft, like making delicious bread.

02:56:02.000 Yeah, it's like stand-up.

02:56:04.000 It's like you're always working on perfecting this craft and letting your mind go...

02:56:09.000 And just deal with that.

02:56:10.000 And when you're doing that, you're not thinking about anything else in the world.

02:56:13.000 It's a small form.

02:56:14.000 I need to be there right when it comes out of the oven and cut into it and then put butter on it right then.

02:56:18.000 It's pretty badass.

02:56:19.000 That's probably the best.

02:56:20.000 It is.

02:56:21.000 Is that the best?

02:56:21.000 Like right then?

02:56:22.000 Not right then.

02:56:23.000 How much do you weigh?

02:56:24.000 I mean, it's pretty close.

02:56:25.000 It's like a steak where you let it rest?

02:56:26.000 Yeah, you let it rest.

02:56:27.000 How long do you let it rest?

02:56:28.000 Some people say let it rest like another couple hours. 1.00

02:56:31.000 Who are those fucking people? 1.00

02:56:33.000 What do they want? 1.00

02:56:34.000 Cold bread? 0.82

02:56:35.000 People who are so fat that they're filled up with bread.

02:56:40.000 I'm still chewing the one from last night. 0.94

02:56:42.000 I've got jam in my teeth.

02:56:45.000 I've got seeds.

02:56:49.000 Warm bread, though.

02:56:50.000 So good.

02:56:51.000 There's only one way to get warm bread.

02:56:53.000 You can't wait for it to cool off.

02:56:54.000 A friend of mine gave me this butter that he found here that he had had in France.

02:57:00.000 Oh, my God.

02:57:01.000 Butter from France.

02:57:02.000 Oh, this butter on that bread was just insane.

02:57:06.000 It's all I've been doing during the pandemic.

02:57:08.000 I just keep baking bread and driving it to comedians.

02:57:11.000 I've seen every comedian you know.

02:57:13.000 And delivered bread?

02:57:14.000 And delivered bread.

02:57:15.000 Well, that's cool.

02:57:15.000 It's become like my little...

02:57:17.000 That's such a nice thing.

02:57:18.000 Getting out of the house and you go, drive up and see Ali Wong and hang and give her her bread. 0.97

02:57:22.000 I miss our treats.

02:57:23.000 Go see Leslie Jones and hang with her and give her her bread.

02:57:26.000 Aww.

02:57:26.000 I'm just running around LA feeding people.

02:57:28.000 Bert, Tom.

02:57:29.000 That's beautiful.

02:57:30.000 It is.

02:57:31.000 That really is.

02:57:32.000 That's cool.

02:57:33.000 It's a cool thing to do.

02:57:34.000 It is.

02:57:35.000 It keeps you connected.

02:57:36.000 You're giving people...

02:57:37.000 I'm making too much of it.

02:57:39.000 You know what I mean?

02:57:39.000 How often are you doing it?

02:57:40.000 I can't eat it.

02:57:41.000 Like twice a week.

02:57:42.000 So it's four loaves.

02:57:43.000 Are you still doing it for a podcast as well?

02:57:45.000 Are you still doing that?

02:57:46.000 I'm still doing the Breaking Bread podcast.

02:57:48.000 So you're making bread doing that as well?

02:57:51.000 Well, I don't do...

02:57:52.000 No, for the podcast, we just talk and eat.

02:57:54.000 But you were doing something where you were making bread.

02:57:56.000 I was making...

02:57:57.000 Yeah, on my YouTube channel, I show people how to bake bread.

02:58:00.000 You're still doing that?

02:58:01.000 Yeah.

02:58:01.000 So how often are you doing that?

02:58:02.000 Not that often.

02:58:03.000 I haven't done one in like a month or two. 0.99

02:58:05.000 What the fuck? 0.99

02:58:07.000 But you're making all this bread. 1.00

02:58:09.000 I just get it rolling.

02:58:10.000 But I don't understand.

02:58:11.000 I don't want to show them how I'm doing every night.

02:58:14.000 It's the same thing.

02:58:15.000 Well, then talk during it. 1.00

02:58:16.000 Just talk shit about Trump. 1.00

02:58:19.000 People get mad at you. 1.00

02:58:21.000 It'll boost up your channel.

02:58:23.000 But he likes Romney.

02:58:25.000 What's with this guy?

02:58:26.000 This guy's a Romney fan?

02:58:28.000 Come on, you liberal. 1.00

02:58:30.000 You dirty liberal cuck. 1.00

02:58:33.000 What happened to cuck? 1.00

02:58:34.000 Cuck's not around anymore.

02:58:35.000 Here he is.

02:58:36.000 Look at him.

02:58:37.000 Look at him.

02:58:37.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:58:38.000 Smelling your starter.

02:58:39.000 I remember when that shirt was new.

02:58:43.000 Gooey Fun, the new band name?

02:58:46.000 That's you, buddy.

02:58:47.000 Yeah, I like it.

02:58:48.000 Listen, we already did three hours.

02:58:51.000 This is the weirdest time warp.

02:58:53.000 It's very weird.

02:58:54.000 It's the weirdest time warp.

02:58:55.000 It flies by.

02:58:55.000 It's about three hours?

02:58:56.000 What are we at?

02:58:56.000 Yeah, in 30 seconds it will be.

02:58:59.000 How about that?

02:59:00.000 So cool.

02:59:01.000 Three hours.

02:59:02.000 I miss having you in LA. I miss having me in LA too.

02:59:05.000 And it's weird because, like, you know, I mean, the store, it'll probably feel more pronounced when the comedy store opens up and you're not around.

02:59:14.000 But just knowing that you're not there is a little weird.

02:59:17.000 But I like that I can just get on a plane and come here.

02:59:19.000 It's pretty great.

02:59:20.000 I like that you can, too.

02:59:20.000 When I open up a club out here...

02:59:22.000 Yeah.

02:59:23.000 Yeah.

02:59:24.000 You must come.

02:59:25.000 I'll come anytime you want.

02:59:26.000 You know, I'm not going to stop coming.

02:59:29.000 I have multiple stages of things I'm doing on here.

02:59:31.000 We're moving into stage two.

02:59:33.000 Stage three.

02:59:34.000 The positive pandemic phases.

02:59:36.000 Stage three will be the club, and then stage four will be a gigantic ranch where I'll run my psychedelic cult.

02:59:45.000 I'm in!

02:59:46.000 Don't tell the police.

02:59:49.000 I haven't had mushrooms in so long.

02:59:52.000 So long.

02:59:54.000 Talk to me in 10 months.

02:59:56.000 That's the projected plan.

02:59:57.000 Ari gave me some when he did his TV show. 0.99

03:00:00.000 I wouldn't trust Ari's mushrooms for a fucking second. 0.99

03:00:03.000 Who knows what's in there? 1.00

03:00:04.000 He'll put MDMA and acid in your mushrooms and laugh.

03:00:08.000 But they're so old.

03:00:09.000 They're like five years old now.

03:00:11.000 And I still have them.

03:00:12.000 You think they're good?

03:00:13.000 Try them.

03:00:14.000 Just take a little bit.

03:00:16.000 Just take a little bit.

03:00:16.000 Take a cap.

03:00:17.000 Yeah.

03:00:17.000 Just walk around the house.

03:00:18.000 Don't tell anybody.

03:00:19.000 Just give everybody hugs.

03:00:20.000 Clean out the pipes.

03:00:22.000 Yeah.

03:00:22.000 Just clean out the pipes.

03:00:24.000 Just a little bit to get going.

03:00:25.000 Yeah.

03:00:25.000 Just connect.

03:00:27.000 We're all in it together, gang.

03:00:28.000 Yes.

03:00:28.000 We're all in it together.

03:00:30.000 Whatever way you get there.

03:00:31.000 Yes.

03:00:32.000 You're the best.

03:00:33.000 You're the best, Tom Papa.

03:00:34.000 You is, man.

03:00:35.000 I do miss having you around.

03:00:36.000 And I miss you, Brad.

03:00:38.000 I'll keep coming.

03:00:39.000 We'll keep doing this.

03:00:40.000 All right.

03:00:40.000 I love you, buddy.

03:00:41.000 Love you, too.

03:00:42.000 Bye, everyone.

03:00:43.000 See ya.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 14, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1549 - Tom Papa

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Transcript