The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1578 - Richard Rawlings

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

00:00:15.000 It's those Virgin Abloh kicks.

00:00:17.000 These are Air Jordan Files.

00:00:19.000 And like he was saying, it's real controversial if you're going to cut all the stuff out of the different holes.

00:00:25.000 Cut the stuff out of the holes.

00:00:27.000 I don't understand that.

00:00:28.000 There's holes?

00:00:29.000 I don't know.

00:00:30.000 I mean, it's got stuff.

00:00:32.000 It's got holes with fabric in it, and you can either cut it out or leave it in.

00:00:35.000 Well, why would you cut it out?

00:00:36.000 I don't understand.

00:00:37.000 I guess just to be one of the cool kids.

00:00:39.000 So, Jamie, explain.

00:00:40.000 I'm trying to find the hole cut out so you can see it.

00:00:43.000 Some cool kids.

00:00:44.000 Oh, by the way, salute, my friend.

00:00:45.000 Cheers, sir.

00:00:46.000 Thanks for having me back.

00:00:48.000 Please.

00:00:48.000 My honor.

00:00:50.000 Thanks for being back.

00:00:51.000 Now that I'm in your home state.

00:00:53.000 Hell yeah.

00:00:55.000 So what do you do?

00:00:56.000 He didn't cut it out either.

00:00:57.000 Okay, this guy didn't cut it out.

00:00:58.000 You can see it with the yellow socks.

00:00:59.000 You're supposed to cut that little hole out here.

00:01:01.000 You're supposed to.

00:01:02.000 In that little hole.

00:01:03.000 Once you get it home, you have to have an exacto knife. 1.00

00:01:04.000 Why would you fucking... 0.99

00:01:05.000 What? 1.00

00:01:05.000 You got to bring an exacto knife to fix your shoes? 1.00

00:01:07.000 That's crazy.

00:01:08.000 That's the...

00:01:09.000 That's the thing.

00:01:10.000 That's the designer's idea.

00:01:14.000 We're good to go. 0.98

00:01:42.000 Imagine how quick you'd run out of shit to talk about if you got a podcast just on sneakers. 0.99

00:01:47.000 I'd go for a long time. 0.99

00:01:48.000 I'd go for a long time.

00:01:51.000 Jamie's a sneakerhead.

00:01:52.000 There's some serious guys out there. 0.99

00:01:53.000 Talk shit about sneakers, Jamie will jump on that mic. 1.00

00:01:56.000 Yeah, this guy James, man, he has like 5,000 or 6,000 pairs. 1.00

00:02:00.000 What?

00:02:00.000 Yeah.

00:02:01.000 Oh my god, that is madness.

00:02:03.000 That is madness.

00:02:04.000 I don't get it.

00:02:05.000 Yeah, these are Cameron Haynes, Under Armors, Hovers.

00:02:10.000 They're great if you want to run mountains.

00:02:11.000 I hunt in these.

00:02:12.000 They're good.

00:02:13.000 That's right.

00:02:14.000 I think we were trying to get me on a little earlier and you were still out hunting.

00:02:17.000 Yeah, that was in October.

00:02:19.000 Yeah.

00:02:21.000 So, how are you digging Texas? 0.99

00:02:23.000 I fucking love it. 0.98

00:02:24.000 Well, I don't wish I moved here earlier because I moved here at the right time. 0.97

00:02:29.000 It was the perfect time to move here.

00:02:31.000 But I love it.

00:02:32.000 Everybody's moving here.

00:02:33.000 You ain't kidding, man.

00:02:35.000 Oracle just moved here. 0.98

00:02:36.000 Elon Musk moved here.

00:02:38.000 It's a mass exodus.

00:02:41.000 Adam Carolla is moving here, too.

00:02:43.000 I was watching some interview with him today.

00:02:45.000 It's not just the taxes.

00:02:47.000 LA just got a new district attorney who is going to get rid of bail.

00:02:52.000 They're not going to have cash bail anymore.

00:02:55.000 They're not going to arrest people for resisting arrest.

00:02:58.000 They're not going to charge people for resisting arrest.

00:03:00.000 They're not going to charge people for...

00:03:02.000 There's a bunch of things like loitering, drunken disorderly, things along those lines.

00:03:09.000 So it's going to get wild.

00:03:11.000 Well, as long as the California people that move here don't bring that kind of stuff.

00:03:15.000 That's the problem.

00:03:16.000 Yeah, that's the problem. 1.00

00:03:17.000 This dude is the same dude that apparently was doing the same kind of stupid shit in San Francisco. 1.00

00:03:24.000 Well, we've got a mayor in Dallas that just passed. 1.00

00:03:27.000 I think it's up to $1,500.

00:03:28.000 They don't prosecute.

00:03:30.000 So literally, somebody could walk into my merch store there in Dallas and take $1,499 and walk out, and they won't even get in trouble. 0.95

00:03:39.000 That is so ridiculous. 0.73

00:03:40.000 Now, I wouldn't advise them to try it because they might get shot, but they won't get in trouble. 0.99

00:03:44.000 That is so ridiculous, though, that people have the lack of foresight to see how that would become a real problem. 0.77

00:03:51.000 We're starting to get a lot of homeless problems here, too, in Texas, period. 0.96

00:03:55.000 Austin's pretty bad.

00:03:56.000 It's the first time I've spent the night here in a long time, and I was like, wow, that's a big community of homeless.

00:04:01.000 Well, you've got so many people out of work.

00:04:03.000 I mean, what are the numbers of people out of work?

00:04:06.000 It's some insane number.

00:04:07.000 It's like 30%?

00:04:09.000 Yeah.

00:04:09.000 You know, something crazy like that?

00:04:11.000 When you have something like that, you're going to get a lot more homeless people.

00:04:13.000 There's people that were, like, barely on the edge.

00:04:15.000 Mm-hmm.

00:04:16.000 The question is how do you bring them back?

00:04:18.000 How do you get them back into society?

00:04:20.000 How do you help them out?

00:04:22.000 How do you get them housing?

00:04:24.000 Because some of them are drug addicts and mentally ill, but some of them are just people that are down on their luck.

00:04:29.000 And in this sort of environment, it's not even their fault.

00:04:33.000 They didn't even do anything wrong.

00:04:35.000 A lot of them.

00:04:36.000 No, not at all.

00:04:36.000 I mean, welcome to the shittiest year in history.

00:04:39.000 2020, man.

00:04:40.000 I don't know about that.

00:04:41.000 It's pretty bad, though. 0.91

00:04:42.000 It ain't shit compared to, like, the Black Plague or the Inquisition or the, you know, World War II. Well, for sure. 0.97

00:04:49.000 But in our lifetime, let's put it that way.

00:04:52.000 In our lifetime, it's rough. 0.98

00:04:52.000 You know, it's pretty shitty. 0.98

00:04:54.000 It's not good. 0.92

00:04:55.000 It's not a good year.

00:04:56.000 No.

00:04:58.000 Not at all.

00:04:59.000 I'm ready for 2021. You think that's going to be better?

00:05:01.000 Are you going to be lining up for the fucking vaccination? 1.00

00:05:04.000 What are you going to do, bro? 1.00

00:05:04.000 You going to wait? 1.00

00:05:05.000 I don't know.

00:05:06.000 I think I'm going to hang out.

00:05:07.000 I think I'm going to hang out and see how everybody else does because I'm just not sure.

00:05:12.000 I don't consider myself against the vaccine.

00:05:14.000 I can just consider myself, let's wait and see.

00:05:18.000 Let's hang out.

00:05:19.000 Yeah.

00:05:20.000 I know a lot of people that have gotten the disease, and I know a couple of them that got it really bad.

00:05:27.000 Real bad.

00:05:28.000 Like one of them, two of them almost died.

00:05:31.000 Yeah.

00:05:32.000 One of them was an older gentleman, and one of them was a young guy that was just worn the fuck out when he got sick.

00:05:38.000 And he was beat down already and, you know, not at his healthiest, but he's only in his 40s, and he almost died. 0.95

00:05:46.000 Don't tell me that.

00:05:47.000 We're in our 50s.

00:05:48.000 That's what I'm saying, bro.

00:05:49.000 You taking vitamins now?

00:05:51.000 Your wife's got you working out.

00:05:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:05:53.000 Yeah.

00:05:53.000 Oh, man, you getting pumped?

00:05:55.000 Nah, I'd like to say that I don't work out.

00:05:57.000 I hope things work out.

00:06:00.000 You know, now she's got me going up to the gym and upstairs and like she said a minute ago, it's like I'm walking the green mile like I'm going to death.

00:06:10.000 I'm like walking up the stairs all sad and slumped over.

00:06:13.000 Dude, you got a trainer, and I'm telling you, if you just stick with it, once you start seeing yourself looking good, you start getting some abs.

00:06:19.000 What the hell are you talking about, Joe?

00:06:20.000 Look at this. 0.85

00:06:21.000 You look better.

00:06:23.000 Better than the already pristine condition you find yourself in currently.

00:06:26.000 On the outside.

00:06:27.000 The inside's all jacked up. 1.00

00:06:29.000 Your liver's probably strong as fuck, man. 1.00

00:06:31.000 My liver is strong. 1.00

00:06:32.000 Your liver probably looks like a linebacker.

00:06:38.000 So what's happening with your show, man?

00:06:40.000 What are you doing?

00:06:41.000 What's the latest? 1.00

00:06:41.000 Oh shit, you're just gonna go right for the big one, huh? 1.00

00:06:43.000 Let's get in there, man. 1.00

00:06:44.000 First of all, I love your show.

00:06:46.000 I've been loving it for years.

00:06:47.000 It's fun.

00:06:48.000 And I'm a giant muscle car fan, so it's right up my alley.

00:06:51.000 But what's the latest?

00:06:53.000 Well, everybody hold on to your hat out there.

00:06:56.000 Fast and Loud is no more.

00:07:00.000 I have exited Discovery, and I'm a free agent.

00:07:03.000 What?

00:07:04.000 We're going to be doing some cool things in 2021, and it just was a perfect storm, so to speak.

00:07:09.000 It was time for me to expand and grow a little bit, and I'd kind of gotten to the top of that mountain, being Discovery, and there wasn't anything else for me to do there.

00:07:17.000 Wow.

00:07:18.000 I used this year to kind of rethink and reshape what I want to do in the future.

00:07:25.000 So, fast and loud, no moss.

00:07:28.000 Jeez Louise.

00:07:30.000 Hey man, eight years though.

00:07:31.000 That's a long run.

00:07:32.000 You know, 300-ish episodes and, you know.

00:07:36.000 That's a lot.

00:07:38.000 There's only so many times you can buy a car, fix a car, sell a car, and it was time to make some changes, make it more fun.

00:07:43.000 And so the stuff we've got coming out in 2021 is going to be quite a blast.

00:07:47.000 What are you wearing?

00:07:49.000 Well, you know, I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

00:07:52.000 You selling them Wonder Woman bracelets?

00:07:54.000 Yeah.

00:07:56.000 Shaking off bullets with those.

00:07:58.000 Ka-ching! 0.99

00:07:58.000 Yeah, a lady asked me one time, she goes, don't those bother you when they make noise? 0.99

00:08:02.000 I said, they only make noise when I do this.

00:08:04.000 Did you tell that to her?

00:08:05.000 Yeah.

00:08:06.000 It's a good joke.

00:08:07.000 Uncomfortable conversation?

00:08:08.000 She thought it was funny.

00:08:09.000 Oh.

00:08:10.000 It was back in my single days.

00:08:11.000 Right person.

00:08:12.000 I'm all married now.

00:08:12.000 Right person.

00:08:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:14.000 So, yeah, we're going to...

00:08:16.000 I think I'm going to end up doing a podcast because there's not a whole lot going on in my genre in the podcast world.

00:08:21.000 I mean, I know some guys are doing it and they're doing well, but...

00:08:23.000 I've never been allowed to before.

00:08:25.000 So you've got to realize that when I signed my deal with Disco, it was almost 10 years ago.

00:08:32.000 Is that what you call it?

00:08:33.000 Disco?

00:08:33.000 Yeah.

00:08:34.000 So Discovery didn't, you know, social media didn't even exist hardly.

00:08:39.000 So I signed off on All Media.

00:08:42.000 So, up to this point, until literally...

00:08:46.000 All media, including social media?

00:08:47.000 It wasn't even social media back then.

00:08:49.000 I mean, what was it, like MySpace or something?

00:08:51.000 Well, I was doing something on another network back in the day, and they wanted to get control of my social media.

00:08:58.000 That was, like, part of the deal.

00:09:00.000 And they thought it was just, like, an easy yes.

00:09:02.000 No, it's not. 1.00

00:09:03.000 I was like, you can eat shit. 1.00

00:09:04.000 There's no way. 1.00

00:09:05.000 You can pay for it. 0.98

00:09:06.000 Well, it was ridiculous.

00:09:07.000 They wanted to use it to promote other shows on their network. 0.56

00:09:10.000 Correct.

00:09:11.000 I'm like, what are you talking about?

00:09:12.000 And they're like, well, everybody else lets us do it.

00:09:14.000 I go, I have millions of followers. 0.93

00:09:16.000 Like, there's no fucking chance you're just going to get access to that for free. 0.93

00:09:20.000 Now, I had the same conversation several times. 0.96

00:09:22.000 It's a weird conversation, right?

00:09:24.000 It's like you know they're being Weasley.

00:09:27.000 Like, you know this is a valuable thing.

00:09:29.000 Hey, no big deal, Richard.

00:09:30.000 We just like to use your entire social media to promote a lot of other discovery programs.

00:09:34.000 No big deal.

00:09:35.000 Yeah, no big deal.

00:09:35.000 Yeah, you're cool with that, right?

00:09:36.000 Okay, good.

00:09:37.000 Sign here.

00:09:37.000 Well, see, they try that, but I couldn't post myself.

00:09:42.000 I couldn't do things, like, of myself for a lot of the time.

00:09:45.000 Like, if I went out and bought a car and my camera crew wasn't with me and so I took my camera phone and whatever and I wanted to post about it, I wasn't able to do that.

00:09:53.000 You weren't allowed.

00:09:54.000 No.

00:09:55.000 Oh! 0.60

00:09:56.000 Yeah, it was pretty rough.

00:09:57.000 But that's ridiculous, but that would just boost up your social media, which would boost up the show.

00:10:01.000 You would think so.

00:10:02.000 You would think that that would be the thought, that I'm going to help boost the show.

00:10:07.000 Walk me through a conversation with one of these knuckleheads. 0.71

00:10:09.000 I can't. 0.96

00:10:10.000 Well, a fake conversation.

00:10:11.000 Pretend.

00:10:12.000 I can't.

00:10:13.000 Let's pretend it's not Discovery Channel.

00:10:14.000 Let me tell you.

00:10:16.000 It's called the Hoo-Ha Network. 0.98

00:10:18.000 Yeah, let me tell you, it's so bad.

00:10:21.000 The question would be, how was my tenure there?

00:10:24.000 And how well was I treated?

00:10:26.000 And so the answer is...

00:10:29.000 There's a piece of the contract, of the contract when I exited. 0.99

00:10:32.000 Oh, that you can't talk shit. 0.99

00:10:33.000 That I can't talk. 0.99

00:10:34.000 It's up to a $25,000 fine per occurrence. 0.99

00:10:37.000 Per occurrence of you talking shit? 1.00

00:10:38.000 Me talking shit. 1.00

00:10:39.000 Can I talk shit? 1.00

00:10:40.000 You can talk as much shit as you want. 1.00

00:10:41.000 I love the Discovery Channel. 1.00

00:10:44.000 I would talk shit, but I watch their programs all the time. 0.99

00:10:47.000 I like it too. 0.99

00:10:47.000 I think the automotive programming could have been a little stronger, and we wanted to make some changes, but we were just kind of stuck in a rut. 0.99

00:10:53.000 The problem is they're a business, and businesses will get away with whatever they can get away with.

00:10:58.000 There's a reason why we had to make regulations to make sure that companies don't dump chemicals into rivers.

00:11:02.000 Yeah.

00:11:03.000 It's because there's certain people that when they can get away with something, they'll get away with something.

00:11:08.000 So anybody that's telling you...

00:11:10.000 But the problem is, it's so short-sighted.

00:11:12.000 Anybody that's telling you that you can't post something on your social media without a camera crew there representing Discovery Channel, it's so silly because it would boost your social media. 0.98

00:11:21.000 The more you post, the more interesting shit you post, particularly about muscle cars, right? 0.98

00:11:25.000 Correct. 1.00

00:11:25.000 The more it boosts your social media, the more people are going to watch your show. 1.00

00:11:29.000 It's math.

00:11:30.000 It's like the rising tide lifts all boats.

00:11:34.000 I agree with you 100%, but the powers that be, they were not having it.

00:11:39.000 It took me five years of literally begging to do a crossover with Chip Foose.

00:11:45.000 No.

00:11:45.000 And of course that episode did so well that they all think they're geniuses now.

00:11:50.000 But, you know, so I had a good run with Discovery.

00:11:52.000 I'm ready for the next thing, which, by the way, if you're a producer or a network or a streamer out there, I'm a free agent.

00:11:59.000 And I would have to say I might be a very big free agent.

00:12:02.000 Woo! 0.99

00:12:04.000 Chip Foose designed my 1970 Barracuda, which I sold and then bought back.

00:12:09.000 I have it again.

00:12:11.000 I've done that a few times.

00:12:12.000 Roadster Shop has it.

00:12:13.000 Oh, right on.

00:12:14.000 I love those guys.

00:12:16.000 I just got my chassis in for a 59 Corvette that I'm building for a guy in Spain, and we've changed it to Right Hand Drive.

00:12:23.000 Roadster Shop chassis all the way.

00:12:25.000 Why did you go Right Hand Drive? 0.99

00:12:25.000 What are you crazy? 0.99

00:12:25.000 Because he's going to be over in Spain. 0.99

00:12:27.000 Oh.

00:12:27.000 Yeah, so we're going to start building that car here pretty quick.

00:12:32.000 How hard is that?

00:12:33.000 That's got to be a big undertaking.

00:12:35.000 Let me tell you how easy it is.

00:12:36.000 Really?

00:12:36.000 Roadster Shop did it on their system and made the frame that way.

00:12:40.000 So literally, I just moved the steering wheel and I'm done.

00:12:44.000 Wow!

00:12:45.000 Plugs right in.

00:12:46.000 It is so cool that there's companies like them and Detroit Speed, these aftermarket companies that build these really trick chassis that you can take and stick on a 70 Chevelle and do it up and it'll handle much better.

00:12:59.000 Independent suspension.

00:13:01.000 Yeah.

00:13:01.000 Oh, it's so nice.

00:13:02.000 What's really cool is the second you get the chassis, you're going back together.

00:13:06.000 You're building your car.

00:13:07.000 You're not taking it all apart and then having to operate on all this other stuff.

00:13:10.000 You just yank it off the old chassis and start building.

00:13:13.000 Yes.

00:13:14.000 It's a cool time to own a muscle car because you can get a muscle car that actually can handle like a modern car.

00:13:20.000 It's not a death trap.

00:13:22.000 Correct.

00:13:22.000 Yeah.

00:13:24.000 I remember back when all the chassis modifications really started happening and some of the jobs that I'd see come through were chancy events. 0.99

00:13:32.000 A little shaky.

00:13:33.000 A little shaky.

00:13:35.000 Yeah, so Roaster Shop is putting a 900 horsepower Mercury engine in it.

00:13:40.000 And changing it to a six-speed, putting their chassis on it, and making the whole thing handle correctly.

00:13:50.000 Very cool.

00:13:51.000 I'm really excited that you're not using Gas Monkey Garage to build you a car.

00:13:55.000 I would love to use Gas Monkey Garage, which is what I want to talk to you about.

00:13:58.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:13:59.000 I want to talk to you about something.

00:13:59.000 I want to talk to you about a 1970 Chevelle.

00:14:02.000 Yeah, that's easy-cheesy.

00:14:03.000 I think I need one in my life.

00:14:05.000 You do?

00:14:06.000 Yeah, like a John Wick car.

00:14:08.000 The John Wick car, a lot of people think is black with white stripes.

00:14:11.000 Do you know what the actual color is?

00:14:13.000 Blue?

00:14:13.000 No, it's green.

00:14:14.000 Is it?

00:14:15.000 Okay.

00:14:15.000 It's just the movie is shot so weird.

00:14:19.000 You know, it's shot in these exotic sort of like...

00:14:23.000 See, that's what it really looks like.

00:14:25.000 But most of the scenes, when you see the film, that movie is...

00:14:30.000 You know, I don't know what...

00:14:32.000 Like, there it looks black.

00:14:33.000 Well, no, there it kind of looks green.

00:14:35.000 But now that you know it's green...

00:14:37.000 Yeah, there it looks black.

00:14:38.000 But it's just because it's kind of like a blue filter on everything.

00:14:41.000 Is that what it is, Jamie?

00:14:42.000 Yeah, there's like a blue or green filter they have.

00:14:44.000 Yeah, to make the movie.

00:14:45.000 Yeah, but would you go that style or would you want different wheels and tire setup and all that kind of stuff?

00:14:49.000 Well, I want different wheels and tire setup because I would want it to handle well.

00:14:53.000 So I'd want a wider track.

00:14:55.000 I'd want it to be tubbed and just make sure that it's got a real solid suspension on it.

00:15:02.000 Yeah, we could go with a Roadster Shop chassis, but I think that we get with someone like Kreger or Torque Thrust American and have them make the right size with the offset we want so that it kind of has that look.

00:15:14.000 The old school look.

00:15:15.000 But it's bigger meat, you know, 22 and 20s and what have you.

00:15:19.000 Roadster Shop did a...

00:15:21.000 See if you find Roadster Shop 1970 Chevelle.

00:15:26.000 They did one.

00:15:27.000 That is just fucking phenomenal because it's just the right amount of old school and the right amount of new school. 0.95

00:15:33.000 There it is. 1.00

00:15:34.000 Look at that fucking thing. 1.00

00:15:35.000 Come on, son. 1.00

00:15:37.000 Look at the meat on the back wheels! 0.54

00:15:40.000 We can do that.

00:15:41.000 Yes.

00:15:42.000 That is no problem.

00:15:44.000 Jamie, why are you laughing?

00:15:45.000 Jamie drives a Tesla. 1.00

00:15:46.000 He drives a fucking electric car. 0.99

00:15:48.000 I drive one too. 1.00

00:15:48.000 I have one of those. 1.00

00:15:49.000 They're great.

00:15:50.000 Don't you what?

00:15:51.000 Well, I actually hit up Zero Engineering the other day to see if I can get a chassis.

00:15:56.000 Put that back up there.

00:15:56.000 Electric chassis.

00:15:57.000 That's America.

00:15:58.000 It is.

00:15:59.000 You can't get that in Europe. 1.00

00:16:00.000 You can eat shit. 1.00

00:16:01.000 You can eat shit, France. 1.00

00:16:02.000 You can't build one of those. 1.00

00:16:04.000 You don't know how, Spain.

00:16:06.000 What are you going to do?

00:16:06.000 You going to build one of those?

00:16:08.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:16:09.000 That's freedom. 0.99

00:16:10.000 That is. 1.00

00:16:11.000 Look at that goddamn thing. 1.00

00:16:12.000 Look at the back end on that thing. 1.00

00:16:16.000 With the SS right next to the taillight.

00:16:19.000 That's easy.

00:16:20.000 Just tell me when and where.

00:16:24.000 Come on. 1.00

00:16:25.000 Jamie, you don't even give a fuck, do you? 1.00

00:16:26.000 It doesn't even... 1.00

00:16:27.000 It, to you, is like sneakers to me.

00:16:32.000 Like, you make fun of the fact I wear Under Armour sneakers.

00:16:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:34.000 You wear sneakers because you need something on your feet.

00:16:37.000 I need to drive a car because I have to get to work.

00:16:39.000 Exactly.

00:16:40.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:16:42.000 It's the same shit. 1.00

00:16:43.000 The kid's got no flavor. 1.00

00:16:45.000 You know what he needs?

00:16:46.000 He needs like a 68 Mustang in his life.

00:16:49.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:50.000 I got one.

00:16:51.000 I'll sell it.

00:16:53.000 Would you drive it?

00:16:54.000 You don't even know what they look like, do you?

00:16:55.000 What about an 87 Acura Legend?

00:16:57.000 Oh, what are you, a communist?

00:16:59.000 That's my first car.

00:17:00.000 Who are you?

00:17:02.000 That might have been one of the worst.

00:17:04.000 87 might have been the worst year for that car.

00:17:07.000 My friend Guy had an Acura Legend.

00:17:09.000 This was a 91, 92, and I think his was fairly new.

00:17:14.000 It might have been the same sort of model.

00:17:17.000 Show me what yours looked like.

00:17:19.000 They were good at the time, but Jamie, the world's moved on.

00:17:22.000 That was a chick car. 1.00

00:17:25.000 It was definitely a girl's car. 1.00

00:17:26.000 If you lived in Holland in the 1200s, clogs were all the rage.

00:17:30.000 How many cars back then had moonroofs?

00:17:32.000 Automatic?

00:17:33.000 A lot.

00:17:34.000 Did they?

00:17:35.000 Yeah.

00:17:35.000 Oh, okay, well...

00:17:37.000 I didn't think so.

00:17:39.000 Sunroofs?

00:17:40.000 What's the difference between a sunroof and a moonroof?

00:17:41.000 No, automatic.

00:17:42.000 I drive it at night.

00:17:43.000 Exactly.

00:17:44.000 Jamie's one of those dudes that sleeps all day.

00:17:45.000 It was automatic, though.

00:17:46.000 Yeah.

00:17:47.000 Yeah, Jamie.

00:17:48.000 Automatic makes it even worse.

00:17:49.000 Now it's not even a sport car. 1.00

00:17:51.000 Jamie, that looks like a slop of hunk of shit. 1.00

00:17:54.000 I'm trying to find the other one. 1.00

00:17:54.000 There it is. 1.00

00:17:55.000 Did you get laid in that car?

00:17:56.000 That's the one.

00:17:57.000 All day.

00:17:58.000 No way.

00:17:59.000 Yeah.

00:18:00.000 Look at that.

00:18:00.000 Lots of gigs, basketball games.

00:18:02.000 Jamie's got a game.

00:18:04.000 He's got an Acura Legend game.

00:18:06.000 Acura Legend game.

00:18:07.000 I wouldn't go for the 87. Did you get a Perpicipate trophy?

00:18:11.000 Participation trophy.

00:18:13.000 It's like now.

00:18:15.000 I want you to do that.

00:18:16.000 Okay.

00:18:16.000 Pull up a 1968 Mustang.

00:18:21.000 Shelby GT350. I got one of those.

00:18:24.000 You're not a fan of Eleanor's though, huh?

00:18:26.000 I'm not a fan of Eleanor.

00:18:27.000 A lot of people aren't because they're played out.

00:18:30.000 Just played out.

00:18:31.000 But it's only in the car world.

00:18:33.000 In the regular world, it's not played out at all.

00:18:35.000 Yeah, people love it.

00:18:36.000 If you roll up in an Eleanor in the regular world, people are like...

00:18:39.000 What is this craziness?

00:18:41.000 Yeah.

00:18:41.000 This is exotic!

00:18:43.000 Exactly.

00:18:44.000 I'm not a big fan of the Eleanor.

00:18:45.000 That car right there is the one I have. 0.99

00:18:47.000 That's pretty goddamn dope. 1.00

00:18:48.000 That's pretty goddamn dope. 0.99

00:18:50.000 But just give me a regular 68 Mustang because here's what I prefer. 0.98

00:18:54.000 I prefer the taillight assembly on a regular 68 Mustang.

00:18:57.000 Just pull up.

00:18:58.000 Oh, really?

00:18:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:00.000 Like the bullet car right there.

00:19:02.000 The taillights right there, lower right-hand corner.

00:19:05.000 No, no.

00:19:05.000 Go back to where you were.

00:19:06.000 Go back to where you were. 0.98

00:19:08.000 That frickin car. 0.70

00:19:10.000 You're clicking too fast, young Jamie. 0.65

00:19:12.000 See, where's the tip?

00:19:14.000 Premature clicking.

00:19:16.000 No, where were you?

00:19:17.000 This is not where you were.

00:19:19.000 I need the bullet car out there.

00:19:21.000 That was the black one. 1.00

00:19:22.000 Click on the black one.

00:19:23.000 There you go.

00:19:23.000 That's what I like.

00:19:24.000 I love that rear deck, the way it lifts in the center.

00:19:31.000 I just think that's one of the most beautiful rear ends of a Mustang ever.

00:19:36.000 I love the 68. I agree.

00:19:38.000 You know, we built the bullet car.

00:19:40.000 We recreated it for the McQueen family, and we shut down San Francisco and went and recreated the chase.

00:19:45.000 Really?

00:19:46.000 On Fast and Loud, yeah.

00:19:47.000 I didn't see that episode.

00:19:48.000 It's a double episode.

00:19:49.000 Look at that.

00:19:49.000 It's wicked because- Come on.

00:19:50.000 How can you not like that?

00:19:52.000 That's an Eleanor. 0.83

00:19:52.000 I'm not a fan of that. 0.83

00:19:53.000 Oh, shut your mouth. 1.00

00:19:55.000 Shut your mouth, communist. 1.00

00:19:57.000 Come on, it's just the problem is there's too many of them. 1.00

00:20:00.000 But it's still, that's a Chip Foose car.

00:20:02.000 That's a Chip Foose designed car. 0.98

00:20:03.000 It's fucking beautiful. 0.93

00:20:05.000 That's okay, Jamie, but the real Eleanor car is the color that you saw before. 0.98

00:20:09.000 That's from the movie Gone in 60 Seconds.

00:20:12.000 Where did the term Eleanor come from?

00:20:15.000 It was like his nickname.

00:20:16.000 In the movie, it was like he named all the cars.

00:20:18.000 We're going to get Eleanor, we're going to get Mary, we're going to get so-and-so.

00:20:21.000 So that was the name of that particular car on his list.

00:20:25.000 The movie's terrible, but the car's amazing.

00:20:26.000 A car can make a movie.

00:20:29.000 Angelina Jolie looked pretty good in that movie. 1.00

00:20:31.000 She looks good always.

00:20:32.000 That movie was...

00:20:33.000 At her best.

00:20:34.000 Here's a crazy thing.

00:20:36.000 Do you know there's a girl online that they called Zombie Angelina Jolie, and they thought that what was going on was this young lady was having so much plastic surgery that she was ruining her face, 1.00

00:20:51.000 but it's not true.

00:20:52.000 She was just using crazy filters and Photoshop and... 0.96

00:20:56.000 She just got sentenced to 10 years in jail in Iran for social media posts.

00:21:04.000 I heard about this.

00:21:05.000 Dude, Iran is a sketchy place to be right now. 1.00

00:21:10.000 See that picture?

00:21:12.000 Look at her hand.

00:21:13.000 It's just fully photoshopped.

00:21:16.000 Now show with the real image of what she actually looks like.

00:21:19.000 She's actually a very pretty young girl.

00:21:24.000 Yeah, but this is all like, when you see that photo, there's a photo of her.

00:21:28.000 Yeah, you just went back to it.

00:21:30.000 Just go back to where you were.

00:21:31.000 See that?

00:21:31.000 That's what she actually looks like.

00:21:33.000 She's actually a very pretty girl. 0.99

00:21:34.000 And she's got mental health problems. 1.00

00:21:36.000 And so that image on the right is just, she just used Photoshop and made herself look like that.

00:21:42.000 But she doesn't really look like that. 0.97

00:21:44.000 She looks like a pretty young girl and she's only 20 years old and she's gonna go to jail for 10 fucking years. 1.00

00:21:52.000 That's crazy. 0.99

00:21:52.000 For social media posts. 0.99

00:21:54.000 So if you ever complain about America, I want you to pay attention to what the fuck is going on in the rest of the world. 0.97

00:21:58.000 Because this is going on in Iran right now. 0.99

00:22:00.000 They killed an Olympic wrestler recently because he was at a peaceful protest.

00:22:04.000 They executed him.

00:22:05.000 I mean, this guy was a stud wrestler.

00:22:07.000 And it was a huge deal.

00:22:08.000 The UFC Dana White made a plea to the Iranian government, asked him to not kill him.

00:22:15.000 They executed him anyway. 0.99

00:22:16.000 And then they just put this young lady in jail for 10 fucking years. 1.00

00:22:21.000 Corruption of young people and disrespect for the Islamic Republic. 1.00

00:22:26.000 I mean, it is crazy. 1.00

00:22:27.000 And this girl, she has mental health issues. 1.00

00:22:29.000 She's been hospitalized for them. 1.00

00:22:32.000 She's legitimately mentally ill. 0.82

00:22:34.000 And they put her in jail. 1.00

00:22:36.000 It's only going to make her worse.

00:22:37.000 And she got corona in jail. 1.00

00:22:39.000 Jeez.

00:22:40.000 I'm not saying America's perfect, but it's the best thing we have.

00:22:42.000 I wonder what I would have gotten for punishment from Discovery.

00:22:46.000 Not that bad.

00:22:48.000 Not that bad.

00:22:49.000 But I know we went on a little tangent there, went down a dark road, but it's something that needs to be discussed because it's just so insane.

00:22:56.000 It is definitely a crazy world, but we still live in the greatest country in the world, so... 0.98

00:23:01.000 Yeah, it's not perfect, but it's the best fucking thing out there, kids. 0.98

00:23:05.000 Yeah, if we can get rid of California. 0.98

00:23:07.000 Well, this is the thing.

00:23:08.000 People in California are recognizing it.

00:23:11.000 California itself, it doesn't exist as everybody thought of it.

00:23:15.000 If you think of California a year ago, there was a thought that people had of California.

00:23:19.000 Oh, it's free-thinking people.

00:23:21.000 Yeah, it's expensive, but it's worth it. 0.88

00:23:23.000 The weather's awesome, and the people are cool as fuck, and it's really smart and really intelligent. 0.54

00:23:27.000 No. 0.98

00:23:28.000 The government's ruined it.

00:23:29.000 Literally, it's a case of now we know that if you have poor government, the government can ruin a state.

00:23:36.000 The way they handle a bad situation, the way Greg Abbott handled it in Texas is amazing.

00:23:43.000 Yeah.

00:23:43.000 Amazing.

00:23:44.000 He did it perfectly.

00:23:45.000 I mean, they shut down for a little while, but they let businesses stay open.

00:23:49.000 And then they said, listen, we can't do this because we're going to lose businesses.

00:23:52.000 And so they let these businesses...

00:23:54.000 Everyone's struggling because they're still at a limited capacity and social distancing and restaurants.

00:23:59.000 People have to wear masks and stuff like that.

00:24:01.000 But they're open.

00:24:03.000 We're down.

00:24:04.000 We had to shut down pretty much across the board.

00:24:08.000 And I don't see recovery for us until spring, maybe, as far as catching back up.

00:24:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:16.000 But if you were in California, you'd be fucked. 1.00

00:24:18.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:24:19.000 You'd be really fucked. 1.00

00:24:20.000 They're completely locked down again right now, aren't they? 0.99

00:24:22.000 Yeah, you can't even go to eat outside.

00:24:24.000 There's a 10 p.m.

00:24:26.000 curfew in Los Angeles. 0.95

00:24:27.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99

00:24:28.000 It's insane. 0.99

00:24:29.000 There's no science behind it either.

00:24:31.000 There's no science that shows that if you get people to stay home after 10pm that there's less transmission.

00:24:38.000 There's no science.

00:24:39.000 Nothing.

00:24:39.000 There's arbitrary decisions that are made by politicians.

00:24:42.000 And that's the minimum.

00:24:44.000 The outdoor dining thing is the most egregious.

00:24:46.000 Because you have all these people that spend so much money to try to convert their restaurants and make these outdoor dining expenses. 0.94

00:24:52.000 They spend thousands of dollars they didn't even fucking have.

00:24:55.000 They just wanted to stay open. 0.98

00:24:56.000 And then they just get shut down.

00:24:58.000 Did you see the lady the other day that was just crying because she put out the outdoor dining and then they set up production, movie production. 0.96

00:25:04.000 Right next door.

00:25:05.000 They're feeding people right next door to where her outdoor dining is shut down. 0.90

00:25:09.000 Yeah, it's shut down.

00:25:10.000 It's insane.

00:25:11.000 It was bad. 0.99

00:25:11.000 Fucking insane. 0.99

00:25:12.000 I was pretty pissed off at that one because, you know, we shut down Gas Monkey Bar and Grill for the winter. 0.99

00:25:18.000 We're just hanging out, see what happens.

00:25:19.000 Now, how long have you had that restaurant?

00:25:23.000 It's been about seven years.

00:25:27.000 That's a challenging business.

00:25:29.000 Well, it's tourism.

00:25:32.000 The tourism, they come through and they want to see Gas Monkey, they want to see the restaurant, etc. 0.96

00:25:39.000 I'll tell you how shitty it really is.

00:25:42.000 I've got a business partner there that... 0.77

00:25:45.000 I'll keep my personal thoughts to myself, but let's just put it this way.

00:25:48.000 Has it been all business?

00:25:50.000 And we revoked the license to be Gas Monkey Bar and Grill over two years ago.

00:25:58.000 And he basically told me to pound sand and he left the sign up and he's been Gas Monkey Bar and Grill for the last two years without a license.

00:26:07.000 How does that work?

00:26:09.000 How it works is I have to go through the courts then.

00:26:11.000 You know, we did it legitimately and Gas Monkey Bar and Grill does not have a license to use our name, but we then have to go through the court system.

00:26:19.000 We were about halfway through the court system and boom, Corona.

00:26:22.000 So now no courts because we're basically, the courts are closed right now.

00:26:26.000 So what percentage does that person own versus you?

00:26:30.000 He owns the majority percentage because he was the one putting in the money.

00:26:34.000 And he only had Gas Monkey Barn Grill for a certain amount of time.

00:26:37.000 He only had a license to operate under that name.

00:26:40.000 And from day one, it wasn't good for me at all. 0.97

00:26:45.000 And then when we revoked the license for not obeying all the rules in the contract and doing all the things that you're supposed to do and protect the brand and keep it an upstanding citizen and all that kind of shit. 0.84

00:26:55.000 He just said, I don't I don't believe this letter. 0.92

00:26:58.000 Take me to court.

00:26:59.000 Oh, boy.

00:27:01.000 So much fun.

00:27:03.000 Yeah, it's interesting.

00:27:05.000 I've done business with a lot of people over my life, and the two people that got me the best, as far as got over on me, were longtime friends.

00:27:17.000 One of our kids grew up together.

00:27:20.000 And this one that I'm particularly talking about was my next door neighbor for 12 years.

00:27:24.000 Jesus.

00:27:25.000 You drop your guard sometimes to people you like.

00:27:27.000 That's part of the problem.

00:27:28.000 That is the problem.

00:27:29.000 But you live and you learn.

00:27:31.000 I mean, my life's great.

00:27:32.000 I've had friends that have tried to go to business with me and I put one hand on each shoulder and go, I like you.

00:27:38.000 Yeah.

00:27:39.000 If I want to continue liking you, we're not going to go into business together.

00:27:42.000 We go into business.

00:27:44.000 First of all, I don't have enough time.

00:27:47.000 The reason why you want me to go into business with you as opposed to a regular real business person is because it seems like it will work.

00:27:55.000 Because we're friends.

00:27:56.000 Yeah.

00:27:57.000 But generally, those don't work.

00:27:59.000 Like, if you want to start, like, the people that have good ideas for businesses, they need to get together with people that actually make businesses.

00:28:05.000 Correct.

00:28:05.000 Yeah.

00:28:06.000 Correct.

00:28:06.000 Yeah, this was just, you know, it was a thing that we tried, and so I guess if I could tell the world's largest podcast.

00:28:12.000 If you're coming to Dallas and you want to hang out, go to the Gas Monkey Garage, skip the bar and grill experience.

00:28:17.000 It's not worth it.

00:28:18.000 It's confusing for people, but they're like, I love the show.

00:28:20.000 This is where I want to go support it.

00:28:22.000 Yeah.

00:28:23.000 I want to support the show.

00:28:24.000 If you want to support the show, go to Gas Monkey Garage.

00:28:26.000 You guys own the Gas Monkey name, which is great because Fast and Loud is not Gas Monkey.

00:28:30.000 Correct.

00:28:31.000 But everybody knows Gas Monkey.

00:28:32.000 So you could do a show called Gas Monkey.

00:28:34.000 You could, but generally you don't want the, you know, it'd be like if, you know, The main star, Brad Pitt's in the movie, and it's called Brad Pitt.

00:28:44.000 You know, it's...

00:28:44.000 I don't know.

00:28:45.000 You usually name yourself something else and what's in the show, you leave it to be its own thing.

00:28:50.000 What kind of nonsense is that?

00:28:52.000 I do not know, but it's... 0.95

00:28:53.000 Gas Monkey.

00:28:54.000 It truly works that way.

00:28:55.000 Yeah, but it worked because you got a great name on top of Gas Monkey, fast and loud.

00:28:59.000 That's great, too.

00:29:00.000 Yeah.

00:29:01.000 But to have the two of them work symbiotically...

00:29:04.000 That's what we did.

00:29:05.000 But I think Gas Monkey's the way to go for the new show.

00:29:08.000 I think that's possible.

00:29:10.000 What else are you going to call it?

00:29:11.000 Got an idea?

00:29:12.000 Don't tell anybody.

00:29:13.000 Because we're on the internet.

00:29:14.000 I haven't even said if I'm going to be in the automotive field yet.

00:29:18.000 What?

00:29:19.000 You're going to be in some other kind of field?

00:29:20.000 What are you going to do?

00:29:21.000 I'm considering doing a genre jump.

00:29:25.000 Fitness?

00:29:25.000 No, it ain't going to be fitness.

00:29:27.000 Powerlifting.

00:29:28.000 Yeah, watch Richard's weight gain journey.

00:29:31.000 It's all about gymnastics.

00:29:32.000 No, I'm actually considering jumping to food.

00:29:36.000 Food?

00:29:36.000 Yeah.

00:29:38.000 I mean...

00:29:39.000 You want to do a food show?

00:29:40.000 I'm thinking about it.

00:29:40.000 Is this because of your experience with the grill, the bar and grill?

00:29:44.000 It's a little bit of that, but it's also...

00:29:46.000 I'm into food.

00:29:46.000 I'm a big chef at home, and...

00:29:48.000 What kind of shit do you cook? 1.00

00:29:49.000 I cook anything. 1.00

00:29:50.000 Really?

00:29:51.000 Yeah.

00:29:52.000 Yeah.

00:29:52.000 I'm a big...

00:29:53.000 You know, you had my buddy, Matt Pittman, over here the other day.

00:29:55.000 Yeah.

00:29:56.000 So I bought a bunch of his stuff from Meat Church. 0.98

00:29:58.000 Shout out to Meat Church. 0.86

00:30:00.000 Shout out to Matt, for sure.

00:30:01.000 And so I've been practicing on my Traeger.

00:30:05.000 And, you know, so that thing's...

00:30:07.000 Really killer little instrument.

00:30:09.000 It is.

00:30:10.000 Yeah, I love those things.

00:30:11.000 Yeah, and so I'm considering just kind of making the jump.

00:30:15.000 It'll still be a little bit of automotive, a little bit of food.

00:30:18.000 Think me, Guy Ferreri, and Anthony Bourdain all rolled up into one.

00:30:22.000 And what are you going to do?

00:30:23.000 Do you have a plan? 0.79

00:30:24.000 Frickin' roll around this.

00:30:25.000 Can you tell people?

00:30:26.000 I think I'm going to roll around this great nation, checking out stuff.

00:30:29.000 The juxtaposition with different cities and their cars is pretty interesting.

00:30:33.000 If you look at Say, Dallas and Houston.

00:30:36.000 The kind of 4x4 trucks that they drive in Houston, you know, somebody in Dallas would probably throw rocks at them, and vice versa.

00:30:42.000 It's just two different styles.

00:30:44.000 And then the kind that we're both known for, barbecue and...

00:30:51.000 Chili, if you will. 0.61

00:30:54.000 Or barbecue and Mexican food.

00:30:56.000 But two different ones.

00:30:57.000 They're close to the border.

00:30:58.000 A little bit different style, a little bit of everything.

00:31:00.000 That's only three hours away.

00:31:01.000 So imagine getting to tell the story of the town I'm in, why they're into what kind of car or trucks or motorcycles or whatever they're into, and then take a whiff on what their food is like compared to the rest of the world.

00:31:14.000 Hmm.

00:31:15.000 Okay.

00:31:16.000 So it's a little bit of a rod and culture, I call it. 0.98

00:31:18.000 Just a little bit of hot rod and a little bit of like traveling around.

00:31:22.000 Hanging out, checking out the best tacos and the best spaghetti joints and whatever.

00:31:27.000 So no more buying people's cars.

00:31:29.000 No, I'll always do that.

00:31:30.000 That's the fun.

00:31:32.000 Maybe we roll a little bit of that in, but Fast and Loud was very, very hard.

00:31:36.000 It was a hard show to make.

00:31:37.000 We were building those cars in 25, 30 days. 0.97

00:31:40.000 It's ridiculous.

00:31:42.000 The people that don't know how cars are built, they're built over a year. 0.75

00:31:46.000 A year is great.

00:31:47.000 If you can get someone to build you a car in a year, it's pretty amazing.

00:31:50.000 Yeah, well, we were building them in 25 days.

00:31:52.000 That's insane.

00:31:53.000 As a matter of fact, there's one up that I challenged my guys to early spring, and they built a Chevy OBS short bed pickup truck in five, all the way down to the frame, all the way back up, paint, interior, motor, tranny, everything.

00:32:06.000 What kind of Adderall are you putting these people on?

00:32:08.000 Ha ha ha!

00:32:09.000 I did good stuff.

00:32:10.000 But no, it was just a quick challenge that we decided to give them.

00:32:13.000 And they came through.

00:32:15.000 They built it in five flat days.

00:32:17.000 Jesus Christ.

00:32:18.000 That's crazy.

00:32:18.000 And then they take five days off and just sleep?

00:32:21.000 Yeah, they were worn out.

00:32:24.000 It was pretty cool though.

00:32:25.000 What does it look like?

00:32:27.000 It's out there.

00:32:28.000 If he hits up Gas Monkey OBS build.

00:32:31.000 Excuse me.

00:32:32.000 I need to see this.

00:32:33.000 And it was completely functional when it was done?

00:32:37.000 Completely functional truck when I drove it in.

00:32:39.000 A stock truck with like 30,000 miles on it.

00:32:43.000 And completely functional doing donuts on Friday afternoon.

00:32:45.000 I took it in at Monday morning at 8 a.m.

00:32:48.000 And I told him I wanted it by Friday at beer time.

00:32:51.000 And by 5 o'clock, I was doing donuts in a bargain lot.

00:32:54.000 That's crazy.

00:32:55.000 Yeah.

00:32:56.000 Took it all the way down to the frame.

00:32:58.000 All the way back up.

00:32:59.000 Paint, interior.

00:33:00.000 That's nuts.

00:33:02.000 Big built motor, big built tranny, rear end, suspension.

00:33:04.000 How long did you plan for it?

00:33:06.000 It looks amazing, too. 1.00

00:33:09.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:33:10.000 How much time did you plan for something like this? 1.00

00:33:13.000 You've got to have all your ducks in a row if you're going to do something like this, right?

00:33:15.000 Yeah.

00:33:16.000 What we really did was I took stock of everything that was in the shop and I ordered a couple of parts that we were missing.

00:33:23.000 And as soon as I knew I had everything, then I took them to the challenge.

00:33:26.000 They didn't know what I was doing.

00:33:27.000 I was kind of compiling all the stuff.

00:33:29.000 And how beat up was the truck before you brought it in?

00:33:32.000 Super, super nice. 0.99

00:33:33.000 Oh, so it wasn't too much ridiculous shit you had to do. 1.00

00:33:39.000 Yeah, there you go. 0.99

00:33:39.000 So that's what it looked like. 0.99

00:33:40.000 Just a super stock sanitary.

00:33:42.000 Stock, regular, clean pickup truck.

00:33:45.000 Pulled in with all the parts and said, get it.

00:33:48.000 Wow.

00:33:50.000 Yeah, as a matter of fact, while they were building, I came down here to Texas Speed.

00:33:53.000 They're just in San Antonio, I believe, and got the motor. 0.98

00:33:57.000 Are you going to miss doing shit like that? 0.99

00:34:00.000 I don't think we're going to stop. 0.99

00:34:02.000 We still do it.

00:34:02.000 We're doing one right now.

00:34:04.000 Are you ready for this?

00:34:05.000 Yes.

00:34:05.000 Oh, God.

00:34:06.000 So you know my green Mustang that I drive all the time with the fog lights and everything from the Thomas Crown Affair.

00:34:11.000 I always said I'd never build one.

00:34:13.000 I'll never build anybody one.

00:34:14.000 I want to be the only guy with one, all that kind of stuff.

00:34:18.000 I got talked into it.

00:34:22.000 You're gonna love this one.

00:34:23.000 So it is for none other than the Lord himself, Scott Disick.

00:34:28.000 No.

00:34:29.000 That guy talked you into making a Mustang?

00:34:31.000 Well, you know, if you look at it, he wanted it.

00:34:35.000 He had the money.

00:34:36.000 How drunk were you?

00:34:37.000 Hundreds of millions of followers.

00:34:39.000 Yeah, there's a lot of followers.

00:34:41.000 A lot of advertising there.

00:34:43.000 I get it.

00:34:44.000 So I couldn't turn it down, but he seems like a pretty cool car guy.

00:34:47.000 I went to his house and met with him, and he's into a lot of different automobiles and what have you.

00:34:52.000 So I was like, okay, fine, I'll do it.

00:34:54.000 A lot of guys are into cars, but they're into new cars.

00:34:56.000 They're into flashy, new, show everybody how much money you got cars. 1.00

00:35:00.000 That's stupid to me. 0.99

00:35:02.000 Yeah, they don't know what they're looking at if they look at certain muscle cars. 1.00

00:35:07.000 Correct.

00:35:08.000 I find that offensive.

00:35:09.000 Yeah, you could literally pull up in a Shelby GT or whatever and park right next to the Lamborghini.

00:35:15.000 There's certain cars that even a lot of muscle heads don't really appreciate, like a 69 Torino.

00:35:23.000 That could be a cool car.

00:35:25.000 That could be a cool car.

00:35:25.000 Now I'll tell you what the meanest front end is the 72 Ranchero pickup.

00:35:30.000 What?

00:35:31.000 The meanest front end ever. 0.99

00:35:32.000 It has got just this aggressive ass front end. 0.93

00:35:34.000 The rest of the car falls on its face. 0.99

00:35:37.000 But it is aggressive.

00:35:38.000 It's interesting too because it's a 72. My rule of thumb is after 71 they can all eat shit. 1.00

00:35:45.000 Yeah, I would tend to agree with you. 0.99

00:35:47.000 Because in 73, they started having the extra long bumpers because they had to come in.

00:35:52.000 Again, look at that.

00:35:53.000 Look at that front end. 0.91

00:35:54.000 Interesting.

00:35:55.000 That is like, I am fixing to come down the road.

00:35:58.000 It looks like a carp.

00:35:59.000 Listen, pull up 71 Barracuda.

00:36:04.000 This is a real aggressive front end.

00:36:06.000 Everybody knows that car.

00:36:08.000 Not everybody. 0.99

00:36:09.000 There's a lot of losers out there. 1.00

00:36:12.000 1971 Barracuda front end, in my opinion, is the most aggressive car front end in the history of muscle cars. 0.84

00:36:19.000 Well, that's what makes muscle cars so cool.

00:36:21.000 Everybody's got their opinion.

00:36:22.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:36:23.000 Come on, son.

00:36:24.000 That's freaking sharp.

00:36:25.000 I've had a bunch of 71s.

00:36:28.000 Give me some other pictures.

00:36:29.000 I need to see one front on.

00:36:31.000 That white convertible right there.

00:36:33.000 Look at that.

00:36:34.000 Go back to that black one you just had there. 1.00

00:36:36.000 Make that big.

00:36:37.000 Now that's a good looking car. 0.99

00:36:38.000 Come the fuck on. 1.00

00:36:39.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:36:40.000 That grill's amazing.

00:36:42.000 I saw one guy, he took a 1970, put a 71 front end on.

00:36:46.000 I go, I see what you're doing, but don't do it.

00:36:49.000 No, you can't.

00:36:50.000 You can't.

00:36:50.000 You got to have the little gills.

00:36:51.000 You got to have all the stuff.

00:36:53.000 You can't do it.

00:36:53.000 He did the gills, too.

00:36:55.000 But I'm like, but it's not a 71, bro.

00:36:57.000 You got a 70. Yeah, but that white convertible right there that's the Hemicooter, that car's worth about $3 million.

00:37:06.000 Is it really?

00:37:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:37:09.000 If that's a real car.

00:37:10.000 That's a 340 car.

00:37:11.000 But there's a white on white...

00:37:14.000 Hemi-convertible. 0.99

00:37:15.000 And they made very few Hemi-convertibles.

00:37:17.000 I just don't understand the people that are...

00:37:20.000 3.2.

00:37:21.000 What'd I tell you?

00:37:22.000 I know my numbers.

00:37:23.000 God, that's crazy.

00:37:26.000 And that's not even corroborable. 1.00

00:37:27.000 And that drives like shit. 0.99

00:37:29.000 That's all stock. 1.00

00:37:29.000 Those are so heavy too, man. 1.00

00:37:31.000 With that hemi motor in there.

00:37:32.000 Oh, they're so heavy.

00:37:33.000 You want to go straight, but you don't want to be curbing.

00:37:36.000 It's all front end.

00:37:38.000 It's like, what, it's like 65% front end?

00:37:41.000 What is the real number in terms of the weight balance?

00:37:45.000 Oh, hell.

00:37:46.000 It's got to be 60-40.

00:37:48.000 With a giant hemi? 0.96

00:37:50.000 It's probably close.

00:37:51.000 I would say 6040 would be my guess.

00:37:53.000 That's terrible for handling.

00:37:56.000 Well, it's like the Boss 9 Mustangs.

00:37:58.000 Same thing.

00:37:59.000 You know, Bill Goldberg's got the lawman down there in his collection just outside of Austin here.

00:38:05.000 And that car, me and Dennis used to take it when we owned it to like Whataburger for breakfast, you know, at the office.

00:38:12.000 And we would literally pop wheelies going down 544. Just...

00:38:18.000 Yeah, they're so bad at handling.

00:38:20.000 That was another car that John Wick had.

00:38:22.000 John Wick's car, the car that they stole when they killed his dog and sent him on that killing spree.

00:38:26.000 He had a 69, it wasn't a Mach 1. Was it a 429?

00:38:33.000 It might have been a Boss 9 Mustang.

00:38:36.000 Yeah.

00:38:37.000 I don't know.

00:38:37.000 He'd have to look that up, too.

00:38:39.000 69. This is the coolest gig, by the way, having this guy right here, because if you just kind of stagger for a minute, he's going to feed you the answer real fast.

00:38:47.000 I need him in real life.

00:38:48.000 There's times in real life where I turn and I'm like, oh, Jamie's not here.

00:38:52.000 Like at the grocery aisle?

00:38:54.000 Jamie's like half of my memory now.

00:38:58.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:38:59.000 Well, that's not really his car, though.

00:39:01.000 What that is, is that it's Classic Recreations.

00:39:04.000 That's that company out of Oklahoma that does those.

00:39:07.000 Yeah, that's the real car.

00:39:08.000 I think that's a 429, right?

00:39:10.000 That's a 69 for sure.

00:39:12.000 I think that, I'd have to text my buddy, but I think Classic did my Mustang.

00:39:18.000 Well, they do amazing Mustangs.

00:39:19.000 They do...

00:39:20.000 Go to Classic Recreations' all-carbon-fiber 69 Mustang.

00:39:25.000 Oh, it wouldn't be these guys.

00:39:26.000 Yeah, it is. 0.92

00:39:27.000 Classic Recreations out of Oklahoma now does an all-carbon-fiber Mustang, and it looks fucking insane.

00:39:34.000 It's all-carbon-fiber.

00:39:36.000 I've got a 65K code that I put a Hilborn injection setup on and a punched-out small block and a six-speed hidden in there that looks like the little three-speed and...

00:39:45.000 It's a pretty wicked little car.

00:39:46.000 Black and red.

00:39:47.000 Oh, so you kept like the three-speed knob?

00:39:49.000 The little bitty stick, too.

00:39:50.000 You know how small those little sticks are and everything?

00:39:52.000 Why didn't you do that?

00:39:53.000 Because I just, I wanted a sleeper.

00:39:54.000 I ran...

00:39:55.000 Come on, look at that.

00:39:56.000 That's a 68. Is it a 68?

00:39:59.000 Yeah.

00:39:59.000 Look at that.

00:40:00.000 That's ridiculous. 0.92

00:40:01.000 All carbon fiber. 1.00

00:40:02.000 It's probably light as fuck. 0.96

00:40:04.000 You could pick that up. 0.98

00:40:05.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:40:08.000 That's wild.

00:40:09.000 You know, have you seen some of the stuff that they're getting where they can weave that carbon fiber into patterns now?

00:40:14.000 That is weird.

00:40:15.000 I mean, they can do your logo in it.

00:40:17.000 Yeah, they could.

00:40:18.000 That's amazing.

00:40:19.000 Yeah, that's such a light car.

00:40:22.000 So all the problems that people had with heavy sheet metal in terms of the weight balance and everything, you can all get rid of all that.

00:40:30.000 Oh, you can lose all of it. 0.97

00:40:32.000 Do you fuck around with any of the newer muscle cars? 0.99

00:40:35.000 You can't even call the new Corvette a muscle car anymore now. 0.98

00:40:39.000 Now it's a mid-engine supercar.

00:40:42.000 I would tend to say it's a supercar.

00:40:44.000 I mean, it's basically a 488 Ferrari, is what it is. 0.98

00:40:47.000 And the fucking acceleration is so insane for the money and for the handling. 0.97

00:40:54.000 Oh, for $100,000, it's the best car you can buy. 0.99

00:40:56.000 You can get them under $100,000.

00:40:57.000 I mean, you can get a brand new 2020 Corvette for...

00:41:01.000 What is a retail?

00:41:03.000 I gotta say it's like $70-something.

00:41:05.000 Well, by the time you...

00:41:06.000 By the time you add all the stuff, you're going to be approaching 90. Well, that's a Z06, Jamie.

00:41:10.000 That's a 2019. That's a front-engine car.

00:41:12.000 That's a different car.

00:41:14.000 No, don't go Z06. Just go 2020 Corvette price.

00:41:18.000 I think it's a little bit less.

00:41:21.000 Look at that, 66. Yeah, that's what's crazy. 0.71

00:41:24.000 It's faster than the Z06, but it does have big power. 0.95

00:41:28.000 It has 490 horsepower, and for what you're getting with that mid-engine setup, the fucking acceleration, 0-60, 2.8 seconds. 0.98

00:41:36.000 That's crazy. 0.98

00:41:37.000 But it's still a Corvette.

00:41:38.000 I mean, you've got to wear a gold medallion and clear the school zone.

00:41:41.000 You don't have to.

00:41:41.000 I'm not scared.

00:41:43.000 I'm not scared to drive a Corvette.

00:41:46.000 It's just, I don't know where the stigma started with the Corvette, but it has stayed.

00:41:50.000 Jamie's friend was shitting all over Tony Hinchcliffe's Corvette the other night. 0.97

00:41:54.000 Jamie has his friend, and she was shitting all over Tony's Corvette. 1.00

00:41:58.000 And I was like, you're out of your mind, lady. 1.00

00:42:00.000 You're a woman.

00:42:01.000 But I mean, my wife's got a 488 convertible, and it's basically the same car.

00:42:07.000 Yes.

00:42:07.000 Yeah, basically.

00:42:09.000 But it's 250 grand more.

00:42:10.000 Yeah, difference.

00:42:12.000 Giant difference in price. 1.00

00:42:13.000 But that fucking car handles spectacularly. 1.00

00:42:16.000 And the interior is amazing. 1.00

00:42:18.000 I mean, the new Corvette is...

00:42:19.000 I think it's a masterpiece.

00:42:21.000 I think they knocked it out of the park.

00:42:22.000 The only one that I don't like on the new one is they came out...

00:42:25.000 See if you can find the hideous yellow one.

00:42:28.000 It literally looks like...

00:42:29.000 Well, what car looks good in yellow?

00:42:31.000 Yeah.

00:42:32.000 None, as far as I'm concerned.

00:42:33.000 None. 0.98

00:42:34.000 It's a ridiculous color. 1.00

00:42:35.000 You gotta be an asshole or Guy Fieri. 1.00

00:42:38.000 That guy has all of his cars in yellow. 1.00

00:42:40.000 Did you know that?

00:42:40.000 I did not know that, and I know Guy Fieri.

00:42:42.000 His cars are yellow?

00:42:43.000 Oh yeah, all of them.

00:42:44.000 Look at that color.

00:42:46.000 It's so horrible.

00:42:47.000 A friend of mine has this car.

00:42:49.000 I won't name him right now.

00:42:52.000 I know he's got the red Camaro on his show.

00:42:55.000 Bro, all of his cars are yellow.

00:42:57.000 He's got like a hundred yellow cars.

00:42:59.000 It's the grossest thing you've ever seen in your life.

00:43:01.000 Look, those are all his cars. 1.00

00:43:04.000 Get the fuck out of here, guy. 0.99

00:43:05.000 See, there's a guy that... 0.99

00:43:06.000 First of all, he's got a 72 Chevelle, which is like the grossest year ever.

00:43:10.000 Obviously, he had better management than I did.

00:43:12.000 Might be a 71. Might be a 71 Chevelle.

00:43:15.000 71 with the single headlights.

00:43:17.000 I don't know what they did with 71, but they made it gross.

00:43:21.000 Oh, he's in one red car.

00:43:22.000 Well, that's the one he uses on his show.

00:43:23.000 Yeah, but that's because he knows the other ones are gross.

00:43:26.000 Go to that picture again with all of the yellow cars.

00:43:29.000 Come on, guy. 1.00

00:43:30.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:43:31.000 He's got like, what is that, a fourth generation Corvette? 1.00

00:43:37.000 Yeah, he's got an older Corvette, looks like a 2000-ish Corvette.

00:43:44.000 He's got a Jeep.

00:43:45.000 He's got a ZL1, it looks like, in the back.

00:43:47.000 It basically looks like a collection of $20,000 high-rods.

00:43:51.000 Yeah, but they look gross.

00:43:54.000 Like, the yellow...

00:43:55.000 I don't understand it.

00:43:57.000 Why would he do that?

00:43:58.000 I will bust his chops next time I see him, because I had no idea that he collected yellow cars. 1.00

00:44:03.000 He's got a whole fucking... 1.00

00:44:03.000 What is this? 1.00

00:44:04.000 That's a Ferrari guy. 1.00

00:44:06.000 This asshole has all... 1.00

00:44:07.000 His Ferraris are yellow. 1.00

00:44:09.000 I don't get it.

00:44:12.000 If you were colorblind, it'd be awesome. 0.99

00:44:14.000 Who gives a shit what color it is? 0.99

00:44:15.000 Let's roll. 1.00

00:44:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:44:17.000 My buddy showed up with his yellow Corvette at some party, and we all just died laughing.

00:44:21.000 Yeah, way to go.

00:44:23.000 If you're like a Corvette dealer, and you're ordering a bunch of different cars to sell on your lot, like yellow, you're assuming someone's getting a wrap. 0.95

00:44:32.000 Well, either that or you're just ordering one, because like I say in the car business, there's an ass for every seat. 1.00

00:44:36.000 That's true. 0.99

00:44:38.000 Right, there's always some crazy person. 0.98

00:44:39.000 Some crazy person that prefers a gross color. 0.97

00:44:43.000 But yellow is like universally the grossest. 0.98

00:45:05.000 I agree.

00:45:05.000 Yeah, I'm not a red car fan.

00:45:07.000 Every car I buy is black, except for when you get into the older cars.

00:45:11.000 Now, I do like to have fun with the reds and the blues when you get into the muscle cars, because they made some sick colors back then, and you could mess with them, put the stripes on them, and things like that.

00:45:20.000 But none of them look better.

00:45:21.000 Well, a 70 Chevelle...

00:45:24.000 Red with black stripes looks pretty dope.

00:45:27.000 Tom Cruise had one of those in Jack Reacher.

00:45:29.000 Correct.

00:45:30.000 That was pretty dope.

00:45:32.000 That's the Mustang.

00:45:34.000 That's the 69 Boss 429. Yeah, that's the car.

00:45:37.000 That's the car they stole when they killed his dog and sent him on a murder spree.

00:45:41.000 He must have liked that dog.

00:45:43.000 Well, it was a little puppy and it reminded him of his wife who just died.

00:45:46.000 That's right.

00:45:46.000 Come on, bro.

00:45:47.000 It's John Wick.

00:45:48.000 It's an American movie.

00:45:50.000 But that's a pretty dope car, too.

00:45:53.000 Yeah, but you know, definitely not yellow for anything.

00:45:56.000 I don't understand the yellow cars.

00:45:58.000 It's like, I guess it's a really, really, I really, really want you to look at me car.

00:46:02.000 That's what it is.

00:46:05.000 Right?

00:46:06.000 Yeah, I just know my buddy that bought the yellow Vette right now is just cringing.

00:46:09.000 Yeah, sorry bro. 0.95

00:46:10.000 Get a wrap on that shitbox. 0.99

00:46:12.000 Sorry about your manhood. 0.98

00:46:14.000 Does he have a new Vette?

00:46:16.000 Brand new one in that ugly color I just showed you.

00:46:19.000 Wow, why would he do that?

00:46:20.000 Maybe he was on the lot and he was drunk.

00:46:22.000 No, he ordered it.

00:46:28.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:46:30.000 No, not at all.

00:46:30.000 This is coming from a man who has a red podcast studio.

00:46:33.000 Yeah, what is the story with this studio?

00:46:34.000 You were starting to tell me when we walked in.

00:46:36.000 I feel like I'm inside a can of V8. Yeah, so this is the story.

00:46:42.000 We had literally five weeks from the time I said I'm getting the fuck out of California to airing Okay. 0.72

00:46:51.000 Live on the internet.

00:46:54.000 And it was actually the premiere of it being on Spotify as well.

00:46:57.000 Correct. 0.99

00:46:57.000 So it was a lot of shit going on. 0.99

00:46:59.000 And it was real risky. 1.00

00:47:00.000 But I was like, I don't care.

00:47:03.000 I want to get out of California.

00:47:04.000 I don't care.

00:47:05.000 And I got this place.

00:47:07.000 And it was in this particular curvature, this curved shape, because it was a conference room.

00:47:14.000 Yeah.

00:47:15.000 And so I took this conference room and then I hired Matt Alvarez who came in and did all this shit and put the sound deadening in and then I said, and then we got these wall panels and I was like, what color can we get them?

00:47:30.000 Because the wall panels are actually like these sound like acoustic panels to absorb the echo and everything to make the sound better in the room.

00:47:38.000 So these have a reason.

00:47:39.000 Yeah, so there's a color patterns to them.

00:47:41.000 You can get different kind of, like, these patterns were custom, and then the colors are custom, like you order them.

00:47:47.000 And so I said, that's what it originally looked like.

00:47:50.000 And so I said, red and black would be kind of dope.

00:47:53.000 And then once we did the red and black, like, what color walls? 0.99

00:47:56.000 I'm like, let's make this whole motherfucker red. 0.99

00:47:58.000 Let's get crazy. 0.99

00:47:59.000 And so that's what we went with.

00:48:00.000 Okay. 0.99

00:48:01.000 Just for the fuck of it. 0.99

00:48:02.000 I guess. 0.99

00:48:03.000 You can always change it, right?

00:48:04.000 Yes.

00:48:05.000 Well, I got plans.

00:48:06.000 I can't talk about it on the air because I don't want people to know what I'm doing.

00:48:09.000 But I got a lot of other things happening.

00:48:11.000 That's very cool.

00:48:13.000 I do too, sir.

00:48:14.000 Yeah.

00:48:14.000 It's fun to have things happening.

00:48:16.000 It is.

00:48:17.000 I'm actually enjoying life for once in a while.

00:48:20.000 It's been a little while when I was getting beat down pretty much.

00:48:23.000 Now I'm ready to be back up on top and have some fun.

00:48:26.000 You had a lot of transitions, right?

00:48:27.000 Like the show, and then the bar and grill, and then, you know.

00:48:31.000 Yeah, but it's great to be back on top and doing what you want to do.

00:48:35.000 Got me a new wife out there. 0.93

00:48:37.000 You met her.

00:48:38.000 You did well.

00:48:38.000 Thumbs up.

00:48:39.000 Way above my league, sir.

00:48:41.000 Way above.

00:48:42.000 Don't ask questions.

00:48:43.000 Just keep moving.

00:48:44.000 I know, I know.

00:48:46.000 She's phenomenal and beautiful. 0.93

00:48:49.000 Congratulations.

00:48:50.000 I didn't wait very long.

00:48:51.000 All these things are good.

00:48:52.000 So you have a few bad things and a few good things.

00:48:54.000 I like a few bad things.

00:48:56.000 Because a few bad things make me appreciate a few good things. 1.00

00:48:58.000 Yeah, and also get you focused on fixing that shit. 0.99

00:49:00.000 Because if everything is good, what are you, a king? 1.00

00:49:04.000 What are you, lying down getting fed grapes? 1.00

00:49:06.000 You're gonna get soft, bitch. 1.00

00:49:08.000 You know? 1.00

00:49:08.000 You need a little struggle. 1.00

00:49:10.000 You need a little problem in your life.

00:49:11.000 You can't just be rolling through life on clouds.

00:49:15.000 It's not good.

00:49:16.000 No.

00:49:16.000 I prefer a little adversity in my life.

00:49:18.000 I actually enjoy it.

00:49:19.000 It's one of the reasons why I like pot so much. 0.97

00:49:21.000 Because even if your life is going great, you get really high as fuck, you get paranoid, and you think everything's gonna, oh my god, the world's gonna end. 0.94

00:49:27.000 And then you come out of it and you're okay. 0.97

00:49:29.000 It makes you appreciate peace.

00:49:31.000 See, not me.

00:49:32.000 I usually just go to sleep.

00:49:35.000 I don't have time to get to that paranoia state.

00:49:37.000 I haven't found the right stuff yet.

00:49:39.000 No, we got the right stuff.

00:49:41.000 Oh, no. 0.64

00:49:41.000 You killed me last time. 0.64

00:49:42.000 I'll just wait on that for a second and get a few more beers in me.

00:49:45.000 Don't get scared, bro.

00:49:46.000 I'm never scared.

00:49:47.000 Don't get scared.

00:49:48.000 We're drinking.

00:49:50.000 Shout out to my brother Ron White.

00:49:52.000 This right here is number one.

00:49:55.000 My man's got his own tequila company. 1.00

00:49:57.000 Last time we were here, we drank your shit. 1.00

00:49:59.000 Yeah, we did. 1.00

00:50:00.000 We drank the fuck out of it. 0.65

00:50:01.000 I kind of stumped my toe on that. 0.97

00:50:03.000 That was an amazing, spectacular failure.

00:50:05.000 What happened?

00:50:06.000 It sold so fast, and it was approved in so many states so quick, and I had no idea what the business was.

00:50:13.000 So I just stumped my toe with pricing, and I stumped my toe with delivery, and So I just kind of backed off and it's kind of sitting dormant while I take care of business this year and then I'm going to relaunch it.

00:50:25.000 Well, come on back when you're relaunching it. 0.98

00:50:27.000 Let's get fucked up on it again. 0.98

00:50:29.000 I was going to bring you a bottle, but there's literally none. 0.99

00:50:32.000 I can't find a bottle anywhere in the United States.

00:50:34.000 I've called people and like, hey, if you've got one on your shelf, send it to me.

00:50:37.000 I'll pay you for it.

00:50:38.000 We might have a half a bottle in LA at the old studio.

00:50:40.000 No, we finished that.

00:50:41.000 I think you gave me another one though.

00:50:43.000 Oh yeah, that might happen.

00:50:44.000 Is there a second bottle?

00:50:45.000 I remember seeing something sitting around somewhere that we left in case he came back or whatever. 0.99

00:50:53.000 They were like, leave that shit here. 0.99

00:50:54.000 Just in case. 1.00

00:50:55.000 Just in case.

00:50:58.000 We get booze from weird places.

00:51:00.000 So I've got this list of stuff here.

00:51:03.000 Oh, you got the notes.

00:51:04.000 Well, I asked the people out there.

00:51:06.000 This is from Terry Virts, an astronaut that spent 200 days in space.

00:51:10.000 He gave me some fantastic single malt scotch.

00:51:14.000 I wish I knew what that means.

00:51:16.000 Sounds good when I say single malt.

00:51:18.000 I don't know what it means.

00:51:18.000 I don't know what it means either.

00:51:20.000 I've got what's called a super set of Pappy Van Winkle or something, and I don't know what that means.

00:51:25.000 I don't know how to say it properly.

00:51:27.000 Only thing it'd be cooler is if he took it to space with him and brought it back.

00:51:31.000 Right, right, right.

00:51:31.000 Space whiskey.

00:51:33.000 And it would give you some sort of space bug.

00:51:37.000 So what's the notes, man?

00:51:38.000 What do you got there?

00:51:40.000 Let's see.

00:51:41.000 You know, what's going on?

00:51:42.000 We've been covering a lot of this stuff.

00:51:45.000 Just natural.

00:51:46.000 That's how I like to do it.

00:51:47.000 Yeah.

00:51:49.000 Oh, that was one that I noticed on the way up here because I was doing some research on podcasts and what have you.

00:51:56.000 Why in the hell is everybody obsessed with these true crime podcasts?

00:52:00.000 Oh, it's ladies. 1.00

00:52:01.000 Yeah.

00:52:02.000 Ladies love them. 1.00

00:52:03.000 These ladies are all learning how to kill us, sir. 1.00

00:52:06.000 No. 1.00

00:52:06.000 Yes. 1.00

00:52:07.000 No, no, no, no.

00:52:08.000 You got snapped.

00:52:09.000 You got all this stuff. 1.00

00:52:10.000 They're confused and they want to know why men are such murderous cunts. 0.96

00:52:14.000 And so they watch these true crime podcasts and they watch those shows on A&E. You know, those mystery, like, who did it? 0.96

00:52:22.000 Yeah, the 2020 stuff.

00:52:23.000 Yeah, that's what that is.

00:52:25.000 That's my take on it, is that women, the reason why women are into it more than men is because they don't technically understand violence the way men do. 0.99

00:52:34.000 And so they just kind of like, they go, what the fuck is going on? 0.97

00:52:39.000 And probably they're vulnerable, so they're thinking about it all the time. 1.00

00:52:42.000 No, I think the problem, like with that Snapped, it's about women that get all crazy and kill their husband. 1.00

00:52:48.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:52:48.000 For that, they're excited. 0.96

00:52:50.000 They're like, yeah, we're going to get him.

00:52:51.000 Yeah, I don't need that in my life.

00:52:53.000 That's the same reason why chicks like Wonder Woman. 1.00

00:52:55.000 They want to believe.

00:52:57.000 There's a whole island.

00:52:59.000 Yeah, you know, you come home and your wife's watching snaps for the 300th time that year.

00:53:05.000 You might want to sleep in another room.

00:53:07.000 Well, you might want to be nicer to her.

00:53:08.000 How about that?

00:53:09.000 Well, that's true, too.

00:53:10.000 Taking care of the problem at its root cause.

00:53:11.000 If she's your wife, it means at one point in time you must have loved each other.

00:53:15.000 Correct.

00:53:15.000 Just trying to figure out where it went wrong, Richard.

00:53:18.000 Where'd it go south? 1.00

00:53:19.000 Well, it's like they say, no matter who she is or what she is, somebody somewhere's sick of her shit. 1.00

00:53:24.000 They say that, but the guys who say that are usually losers. 1.00

00:53:28.000 Oh, well, I'm saying they say that. 0.97

00:53:30.000 They, not you and I. They, not me and you.

00:53:32.000 I just think that for women, like those crime shows are like, it's almost like a It's like a way of understanding, or a way of being prepared.

00:53:45.000 Maybe they feel a little vulnerable.

00:53:47.000 Oh, now's the time when I'm supposed to go ahead and get in the suitcase.

00:53:52.000 Can you imagine if you're a woman, just imagine for a moment, every guy you date could kill you. 0.97

00:53:59.000 Imagine if you dated women and all the women you dated were 7 feet tall, black belts in jiu-jitsu, and real angry, and they wanted to kill you. 1.00

00:54:08.000 They wanted to fuck you, but they could kill you. 1.00

00:54:12.000 That would be a terrible point. 1.00

00:54:13.000 Most women, that's their reality. 1.00

00:54:16.000 Yeah, but every woman that you've dated or that you date, the guys out there, it could be Lorena Bobbitt.

00:54:21.000 That's true, too.

00:54:22.000 Doesn't take too much when you're knocked out. 1.00

00:54:24.000 Was John Bobbitt so much of a cunt that Lorena Bobbitt wanted to chop his dick off? 1.00

00:54:29.000 I believe so. 1.00

00:54:29.000 At one point in time, she didn't chop his dick off. 1.00

00:54:32.000 So what went wrong? 1.00

00:54:33.000 That's right. 1.00

00:54:34.000 She didn't chop that shit off on consummation night. 1.00

00:54:37.000 Right. 1.00

00:54:37.000 Something happened. 1.00

00:54:38.000 I'm not forgiving her.

00:54:41.000 But remember, that was like, women love that one. 1.00

00:54:44.000 That was a fun one for women. 0.99

00:54:45.000 Yeah, chop it off. 1.00

00:54:47.000 Yeah.

00:54:48.000 I took all the scissors out of my house.

00:54:50.000 Good move.

00:54:51.000 It's more than scissors.

00:54:52.000 Knives, box cutters.

00:54:53.000 There's a lot of ways they could do it.

00:54:56.000 But it is weird that predominantly women like those true crime shows. 0.98

00:55:01.000 I wonder what a psychologist would think, not a moron like me, but an actual psychologist that really understands what drives people. 0.95

00:55:09.000 I don't know if you remember this, but back in the earlier 2000s, there was a young model lady. 0.95

00:55:16.000 She would be the equivalent of an influencer now, but you didn't really have as much social media back then.

00:55:21.000 She got whacked by her boyfriend, and he put her in a suitcase.

00:55:24.000 And then he went on up to Canada or somewhere and ended up killing himself.

00:55:31.000 Well, I get a call.

00:55:32.000 Of course, I'm shopping my show.

00:55:34.000 I'm starting to get a little bit of notoriety in Hollywood, stuff like that.

00:55:37.000 And they're like, you're on the news.

00:55:39.000 And I'm like, what do you mean? 0.57

00:55:40.000 They're like, did you kill that chick?

00:55:42.000 So one of the newscasts in TMZ, I think it was also the only picture they found of this girl was at some event that I was at and I got my picture with her.

00:55:52.000 So the first picture to go out of that whole story was me and her. 0.99

00:55:58.000 And I'm like, shit! 0.99

00:56:01.000 Oh no. 1.00

00:56:02.000 Oh, that's horrible.

00:56:04.000 So they quickly found out that it wasn't me, I don't think.

00:56:07.000 Quickly?

00:56:08.000 Yeah.

00:56:09.000 It was pretty rough there for a minute.

00:56:11.000 There was another influencer woman who got murdered recently. 0.88

00:56:14.000 Yeah, here in Texas.

00:56:15.000 Yes.

00:56:16.000 It was up in Frisco, wasn't it?

00:56:17.000 Up by me in Dallas.

00:56:18.000 I don't know what part of Texas, but I remember seeing it on the news.

00:56:22.000 Beautiful girl.

00:56:22.000 Yeah.

00:56:23.000 Yeah.

00:56:24.000 Do they know?

00:56:25.000 They don't know yet.

00:56:25.000 I just read about that yesterday, and they haven't released what they know.

00:56:31.000 That's a weird world when you're one of those girls who puts yourself out there on the internet and you never know what psycho is going to get obsessed with you based on your pictures. 0.87

00:56:41.000 You know? 1.00

00:56:42.000 I mean, there's a lot of fucked up dudes out there. 1.00

00:56:45.000 There's a lot of fucked up ladies. 1.00

00:56:46.000 I've got a lady, you know, I'm sure you do too with the fans out there. 1.00

00:56:49.000 I've got one that has literally been having a...

00:56:52.000 Oh, no, no, no.

00:56:53.000 I'm not going to mix it up with tequila.

00:56:55.000 Why are you scared?

00:56:56.000 Huh?

00:56:57.000 I'm never scared.

00:56:58.000 Sounds like you're scared. 1.00

00:57:00.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:57:01.000 Okay, so I've got a lady that has had a one-way conversation with Richard Rawlings, if you will, on social media for eight years, six years, however long it's been going. 1.00

00:57:15.000 She talks to us every day like, hey, I just took a shower, honey.

00:57:20.000 I'm going to get some groceries and stop by my dad's place.

00:57:22.000 And every day it's tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of text messages.

00:57:29.000 Wow.

00:57:29.000 And we have to place it over here, you know, and keep track of it to make sure if there's ever a problem.

00:57:34.000 Just in case.

00:57:34.000 I've stockpiled all the ammo necessary for my task.

00:57:38.000 Exactly.

00:57:38.000 Yeah.

00:57:39.000 My suicide vest has been prepared.

00:57:41.000 Yeah.

00:57:42.000 This one's a little scary, but what do you do?

00:57:46.000 What do you do?

00:57:46.000 You can't do anything until they do something.

00:57:49.000 That's serious, right?

00:57:49.000 That's got a serious freaking strong smell to it.

00:57:52.000 Yeah, it's peaty, as you said.

00:57:54.000 See, I don't understand my whiskeys because I don't ever drink them.

00:57:57.000 Yeah, I don't know what single malt means.

00:58:00.000 I say it, like, oh, single malt, nice.

00:58:03.000 That's where you go, James, tell me what single malt means. 0.98

00:58:06.000 It's like if someone says, you know, oh, it's a fucking eight-cylinder four-barrel. 0.99

00:58:11.000 Oh, four-barrel. 0.99

00:58:12.000 I don't know if that's supposed to be good for you.

00:58:13.000 Oh, that is stout.

00:58:15.000 Good for you?

00:58:16.000 No, it's not good for you.

00:58:17.000 This is all about...

00:58:18.000 This is Irish, you know?

00:58:20.000 Is it Irish or Scotch?

00:58:22.000 Scotch.

00:58:23.000 Irish.

00:58:24.000 Ireland.

00:58:25.000 It's not necessarily good for you.

00:58:27.000 It's about bad decision-making and fun.

00:58:29.000 If it weren't for whiskey, Irish would rule the world, is what they used to say. 0.74

00:58:32.000 They might be right, you know?

00:58:34.000 See guys like Conor McGregor.

00:58:37.000 Scotch is from Scotland?

00:58:38.000 Yeah.

00:58:39.000 What is scotch?

00:58:41.000 It's good though, right?

00:58:43.000 I don't know.

00:58:44.000 That's an acquired taste for me.

00:58:46.000 I'll acquire it.

00:58:50.000 There's some acquired tastes that are weird, like caviar.

00:58:53.000 So, did you buy a big place here?

00:58:55.000 I bought a place.

00:58:56.000 Like a ranch?

00:58:57.000 I mean, because I know Bill Goldberg moved out there and bought a big ranch.

00:59:00.000 That is the plan.

00:59:01.000 The plan is to ultimately...

00:59:02.000 I got a crazy plan.

00:59:04.000 The plan is to have a place that's completely self-sufficient.

00:59:09.000 Like a hunting ranch.

00:59:11.000 Windmill turbines and all that.

00:59:13.000 The whole deal.

00:59:14.000 Solar power.

00:59:15.000 The whole deal.

00:59:15.000 Your own water.

00:59:16.000 Everything.

00:59:17.000 Yeah.

00:59:18.000 Right on.

00:59:18.000 Yeah.

00:59:19.000 Water, animals, vegetables, food, and then room for friends in case the shit hits the fan. 1.00

00:59:27.000 When the shit hit the fan in LA, it opened my eyes. 1.00

00:59:31.000 And it didn't really hit the fan. 1.00

00:59:33.000 The grocery stores were still open.

00:59:35.000 The supply chain was still functional.

00:59:37.000 But I realized that it didn't have to be that way.

00:59:40.000 And that we got really lucky.

00:59:42.000 And I was really lucky because I hunt.

00:59:44.000 So I had a couple commercial freezers on my property that were filled with frozen food.

00:59:51.000 So I had literally enough meat to feed my family for a year.

00:59:55.000 That's rad.

00:59:56.000 I was good.

00:59:58.000 But there was a real concern that the world would get so bad that the supply chain would fall apart, and then I'd have to start feeding my friends.

01:00:09.000 So then I started thinking, okay, well I have resources, right?

01:00:12.000 So if I have resources, what would be a wise use of those resources?

01:00:16.000 Other than...

01:00:17.000 Try to get as many cool people on the podcast and spread as much fun and enjoyment and spread a good vibe out there to the world.

01:00:25.000 The other thought was I should probably have somewhere where all the people that I love can exist and survive.

01:00:34.000 So do I get like a golden ticket if it all goes to hell? 1.00

01:00:38.000 Fuck yeah, bro. 1.00

01:00:38.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:00:39.000 100%. 1.00

01:00:40.000 Yeah.

01:00:41.000 But I need a couple thousand acres.

01:00:43.000 That's the move.

01:00:44.000 The move is a couple thousand acres with enough animals that you could exist.

01:00:49.000 And, you know, like I was reading about Neil Young.

01:00:52.000 Neil Young had, I think he had an issue recently.

01:00:56.000 Do you have a stroke or something like that?

01:00:58.000 Am I making that up?

01:01:00.000 But Neil Young had a, he's got a giant ranch, and he makes his own fuel for his vehicles.

01:01:07.000 He makes biodiesel with plants.

01:01:09.000 Okay.

01:01:10.000 So you can make your own fuel.

01:01:11.000 You can make your own ethanol with corn.

01:01:14.000 There's ways you can make your own fuel for your, you can be completely self-sustainable.

01:01:20.000 We're going to see you on an episode of that show.

01:01:22.000 Preppers?

01:01:23.000 Preppers, yeah.

01:01:24.000 I'm not a prepper, but I watch those shows.

01:01:27.000 The problem with those guys is they're just jumping the gun a little.

01:01:33.000 Yeah.

01:01:34.000 The problem is not that they don't have valid concerns.

01:01:38.000 The problem is they're jumping the gun.

01:01:40.000 Well, maybe.

01:01:41.000 When everything's great, you can just go to a restaurant and order a steak, and you can go to a supermarket and buy lettuce and asparagus and have a nice salad, and you can eat well, and you're okay. 0.99

01:01:53.000 Why are you fucking canning pears? 1.00

01:01:55.000 Yeah, that stuff sucks. 1.00

01:01:57.000 If you want a ranch, I saw one that just went up for sale up in the northwest portion of Texas here. 0.98

01:02:07.000 Large, large ranch, though.

01:02:11.000 225 square miles.

01:02:13.000 That's what I'm talking about.

01:02:15.000 Yes.

01:02:15.000 That's how you do it.

01:02:17.000 It is ridiculous. 0.95

01:02:18.000 It's first time anything like that's gone up for sale. 0.91

01:02:20.000 See, if something like that goes up for sale, you can get all your friends to come down.

01:02:25.000 Well, I think you've got to get your friends to join in and run it like a business.

01:02:28.000 I mean, you're talking about $150 million, but it's 225 square miles. 0.99

01:02:33.000 That's a little too big, because you don't know who the fuck is coming in. 0.97

01:02:36.000 When you have that many miles, you're going to have to have so much security. 0.97

01:02:39.000 You want a little bit less than that.

01:02:42.000 But the thing is, if you had a place where all the people you care about could coexist...

01:02:52.000 People look at the way the world is right now, as bad as 2020 was, and they go, wow, this is the worst thing I've ever seen.

01:02:59.000 But that's just because people don't live that long.

01:03:03.000 People live these little tiny little short lives, these little blips.

01:03:07.000 Correct. 0.99

01:03:07.000 And they seem long because it's, you know, your alarm clock goes off, you're like, ah, fuck, I don't want to get up. 0.99

01:03:12.000 Or you have debt, or you have this, or you have that, or you're going through a divorce, or you're going through a thing with your business and you're fucking in court and it seems long. 0.97

01:03:20.000 But it's not long.

01:03:22.000 The world is long.

01:03:24.000 The universe is long.

01:03:25.000 Life is very short.

01:03:27.000 But during your life, you get an inaccurate view of what's possible.

01:03:33.000 And your inaccurate view is based on what you've experienced during your lifetime.

01:03:37.000 People that have never experienced violence have a very distorted perception of what's possible.

01:03:43.000 You talk to soldiers, you talk to people that have deployed, you talk to specifically spec ops guys, they've seen some wild shit, they have a whole different world in terms of what they view than you do, than I do.

01:03:59.000 And I feel like we got a taste of what's possible with 2020. And I think that things can go way more sideways.

01:04:11.000 Way more sideways.

01:04:12.000 To the point where, you know, during World War II, some untold number of people in the Soviet Union starved to death under Stalin.

01:04:22.000 Starved to death.

01:04:24.000 Like, that is not that long ago.

01:04:26.000 That's less than 100 years ago.

01:04:27.000 Correct.

01:04:28.000 Like, all this could happen again.

01:04:30.000 And all it would take is for things to keep sliding.

01:04:34.000 Keep sliding sideways.

01:04:36.000 Keep going bad.

01:04:37.000 And then the power grid goes down because of a solar flare.

01:04:41.000 And then there's an attack by China that kills everyone in Chicago. 1.00

01:04:44.000 And then you're fucked. 1.00

01:04:46.000 And then you don't know where your food's coming from. 1.00

01:04:48.000 You don't know where your water's coming from.

01:04:52.000 And you want to be prepared.

01:04:53.000 But you don't want to be a...

01:04:54.000 The problem is those preppers, they're just a little too paranoid. 0.98

01:04:58.000 And they fuck it up for everybody else. 0.99

01:05:01.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.93

01:05:02.000 That's why you can't buy bullets right now.

01:05:04.000 You can't buy bullets right now.

01:05:05.000 People need to know this.

01:05:07.000 People out there that don't own guns...

01:05:09.000 First of all, gun ownership radically increased in 2020. Correct.

01:05:14.000 And gun purchases went up, and then bullet purchases went up.

01:05:20.000 And they're hoarding them all.

01:05:22.000 I mean, they can't even make them fast enough.

01:05:23.000 I mean, you're talking to a guy who got shot in 92. How'd you get shot?

01:05:27.000 Ah, fucking carjacking. 1.00

01:05:29.000 Yeah, I was a police officer. 1.00

01:05:31.000 Where'd you get shot?

01:05:31.000 Show me your arm.

01:05:32.000 Came in back here on my shoulder and came out down here.

01:05:35.000 You were a police officer back then?

01:05:37.000 Dude, I was a police officer, firefighter, and paramedic before I was old enough to drink.

01:05:41.000 That's crazy.

01:05:42.000 A little bit of an overachiever. 0.79

01:05:43.000 Wow, that's crazy.

01:05:45.000 How did you get involved in that?

01:05:46.000 How old were you when you joined the force?

01:05:48.000 I went into the police academy in 18. You could be a cop at 18. I got my certification when I was 19. That is crazy.

01:05:58.000 When were you on the force pulling people over?

01:06:01.000 Late 19. That is so crazy.

01:06:05.000 Yeah, I spent some time in a little suburb of Dallas called Alvarado, and then I ended up at the Tarrant County Constable's office.

01:06:11.000 And then I ended up getting hired on by a city up there at Coppell, and they put me through the fire academy and medic school.

01:06:21.000 And so that's what I did until I was like 27-ish, 26. So how old were you when you got shot?

01:06:29.000 92, so I guess I was 22. So you were 22, and you were stopping at carjacking?

01:06:36.000 No.

01:06:37.000 I actually had been out that night with a buddy of mine, and he got lucky.

01:06:42.000 Went home with some chick.

01:06:43.000 So I did not.

01:06:44.000 I was going through the Waterburger drive-thru, and a couple of guys came up and got me from behind.

01:06:50.000 Wow.

01:06:51.000 Yeah.

01:06:52.000 What kind of car?

01:06:53.000 65 Mustang Fastback.

01:06:56.000 Gold on gold.

01:06:57.000 Mm.

01:06:58.000 It was a nice car.

01:06:59.000 Nice car.

01:06:59.000 So you had good taste even back then.

01:07:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:02.000 I was always flipping and buying cars all through school.

01:07:05.000 As a matter of fact, I graduated high school.

01:07:07.000 I started my driver's license when I was 16 with a $250.76 Impala and finished high school two and a half years later or two years later with a Bandit Trans Am, four-speed,

01:07:24.000 T-topped, red on black with the big gold bird.

01:07:28.000 Dude, I know we talked about it last time you were here, but that was one of the saddest episodes of your show when you had Burt Reynolds sign that Trans Am and he couldn't even walk.

01:07:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:38.000 It made me think, like, Father Time is a motherfucker. 1.00

01:07:41.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:07:42.000 But, I mean, that guy...

01:07:43.000 He did all those stunts.

01:07:45.000 He beat himself up.

01:07:46.000 And he played football, too.

01:07:47.000 Yeah.

01:07:48.000 Played football before he was ever an actor and did a lot of stunts.

01:07:52.000 Super nicest guy I've ever worked with.

01:07:54.000 If you'd have told me when I was a kid driving around my band at Trans Am that I'd get to work with Burt Reynolds, I'd have been like, when, where, how?

01:08:00.000 Right, right.

01:08:01.000 And so, I mean, my lovely wife asked me, she's like, what are you really proud of?

01:08:06.000 And I'm like, well, I got a Hot Wheel.

01:08:08.000 Actually, I have two.

01:08:10.000 And I got to film with Burt Reynolds.

01:08:12.000 I'm like, good enough.

01:08:14.000 And I had Motley Crue play my bar.

01:08:18.000 So for an 80s kid, I'm done.

01:08:21.000 You had Motley Crue play at the Gas Monkey Bar and Grill? 1.00

01:08:23.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:08:23.000 No way. 1.00

01:08:24.000 Yeah.

01:08:24.000 Really?

01:08:25.000 Yeah, they came for a big deal.

01:08:26.000 The full Motley Crue?

01:08:27.000 The full deal.

01:08:28.000 Wow.

01:08:29.000 Played my bar for a private party of about 4,000 people.

01:08:34.000 It was a Dodge event.

01:08:36.000 Dana White, who's the president of the UFC, when he was 40, his 40th birthday, they hired Stone Temple pilots to do...

01:08:46.000 I believe it was his wife who set everything up, but it was a surprise party.

01:08:52.000 And they hired Stone Temple pilots to be at his birthday party and perform.

01:08:59.000 Very cool.

01:08:59.000 And there wasn't, but I don't know, I'm guessing...

01:09:04.000 Less than 100 people. 1.00

01:09:05.000 Those motherfuckers rocked that place like it was a 30,000 seat stadium filled with people. 1.00

01:09:11.000 This is it. 1.00

01:09:12.000 Is this at my bar?

01:09:13.000 This is it.

01:09:15.000 Gas Monkey Live, Dallas, Texas.

01:09:16.000 So check this out.

01:09:17.000 Look at Tommy Lee going off.

01:09:18.000 It was the first time they had played a small bar in like a few decades, right?

01:09:24.000 And they all showed up kind of pissy.

01:09:26.000 And they were all like, well, you know, and my acoustics in that bar are so perfect.

01:09:32.000 The stage is five feet off the ground, but it's solid concrete.

01:09:34.000 So it's just throwing the sound.

01:09:36.000 Oh, wow.

01:09:37.000 And they were supposed to play...

01:09:40.000 I don't know, like 35, 40 minutes, and they ended up playing like an hour and a half. 0.99

01:09:44.000 And they said afterwards, they were like, holy shit, this is freaking riot. 0.97

01:09:48.000 And the other thing was it was a Mopar event with Dodge. 0.99

01:09:51.000 And so to get in, to get a ticket to be there, you had to drive your Mopar to the event.

01:09:57.000 So I had like 3,000 freaking Mopars out in the parking lot. 0.98

01:10:02.000 Dude, shout out to Dodge for fucking stepping the horsepower wars up to 10. Hell yeah. 0.99

01:10:07.000 When they came out with the Hellcat, they were like, let's stop fucking around. 1.00

01:10:11.000 Let's get this bitch up to 700 horsepower. 1.00

01:10:13.000 That's like an auction. 0.99

01:10:14.000 You know, like, hey, do I hear 100?

01:10:17.000 Do I hear 100?

01:10:18.000 Do I hear 100? 1.00

01:10:18.000 And someone goes, 300, bitch! 1.00

01:10:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:21.000 Woo! 0.99

01:10:22.000 And things get crazy. 1.00

01:10:23.000 Dodge jacked that fucking Hellcat. 1.00

01:10:25.000 They did two things that are perfect. 1.00

01:10:26.000 They got the demon out there now at 800. Yes, crazy.

01:10:28.000 They did two things that were perfect, though.

01:10:30.000 One is...

01:10:32.000 They came out with a shape that was both modern and reminiscent of classic.

01:10:38.000 They nailed that.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, they nailed that.

01:10:39.000 Nailed it.

01:10:39.000 I used that car before it came out in my 2014 Comedy Central special.

01:10:45.000 Yeah, look.

01:10:46.000 That's some of the guys in the band driving right there doing donuts.

01:10:49.000 They pull up and they all fold donuts.

01:10:52.000 You had to have a Mopar.

01:10:54.000 I love it.

01:10:55.000 Jamie, find a picture of me.

01:10:57.000 There's a picture of me posing like an Instagram hoe on a... 1.00

01:11:01.000 This is 2014. This is before the Hellcat was even released.

01:11:06.000 Shout out to Matt Farah from The Smoking Tire.

01:11:08.000 Oh, I know Matt.

01:11:09.000 He's a cool cat.

01:11:10.000 He's a great guy.

01:11:11.000 He hooked it up for me.

01:11:12.000 He got me connected with them, and they delivered it to Denver, where I was filming this Comedy Central special.

01:11:18.000 I had this whole thing about being too high before the show.

01:11:23.000 That's me. 0.99

01:11:25.000 Holy shit, that does not look like you. 0.99

01:11:27.000 Who does it look like me? 1.00

01:11:28.000 What are you talking about? 0.99

01:11:29.000 I'm making a ridiculous face. 1.00

01:11:30.000 That is a ridiculous face. 0.98

01:11:35.000 You know, I did all the commercials for that when they rolled it out from 2014 or 15 when it came out. 0.95

01:11:41.000 Yeah.

01:11:41.000 For three or four years there, I did all the Challenger and Charger commercials.

01:11:45.000 Did you really?

01:11:46.000 Oh, pull up, look up Rawlings Dodge Law, L-A-W. So this was like two years into Fast and Lound.

01:11:54.000 About three.

01:11:55.000 Three years.

01:11:56.000 Yeah, but I was their pitchman for that whole rollout.

01:11:59.000 So I have...

01:12:00.000 Check this out. 1.00

01:12:01.000 I'll tell you a story about a fucking car that needs to be written. 0.99

01:12:03.000 This could be a novel. 1.00

01:12:05.000 I have Hellcat No.

01:12:06.000 2 ever produced.

01:12:07.000 Do you really?

01:12:08.000 Look at these Dodge Law commercials.

01:12:09.000 Wow.

01:12:12.000 So...

01:12:15.000 What is with the animated monkey?

01:12:17.000 Oh, he's animated.

01:12:19.000 I'm pulling odor for doing non-manly things at a Dodge, like eating a croissant.

01:12:23.000 That's it.

01:12:24.000 Put the croissant down. 0.98

01:12:26.000 That's so ridiculous. 0.99

01:12:28.000 It's toxic masculinity. 0.99

01:12:29.000 So I have Hellcat No.

01:12:32.000 2. Serial No.

01:12:33.000 2. And it came from the factory with some really kind of jacked up things about it.

01:12:39.000 One door panel is suede, one's leather.

01:12:42.000 You know, just weird stuff like that.

01:12:43.000 The car's been stolen.

01:12:45.000 While it was stolen, well actually I wrecked it, and then after that it was stolen.

01:12:49.000 And while it was stolen it was gone for nine months.

01:12:52.000 What?

01:12:52.000 And I got paid off by the insurance company and everything.

01:12:55.000 And then somebody called me and says, hey, I'm a repo guy and I'm looking at your Dodge right now.

01:12:59.000 It's sitting in this parking lot.

01:13:01.000 So I went over there and stole it back.

01:13:03.000 And they were using it as a drug drop car.

01:13:06.000 So it was like right next to this interstate trucking company through a row of hedges.

01:13:12.000 And from what we could tell is the truck drivers would come in with a big old bag of weed and put it in the trunk of the car, take their payment and roll away.

01:13:19.000 And the car itself had all these cameras on it facing it so they could see when the weed got dropped and then they'd go pick it up.

01:13:27.000 So I got a custom Texas tag on it now.

01:13:30.000 It says GMG Mule.

01:13:33.000 It's the gas monkey mule. 0.88

01:13:34.000 And so then while it was stolen, we find out later on after I steal it back, I literally went with the trailer and put it on there and took it and ended up making a deal with the insurance company and got to keep it.

01:13:48.000 Then a guy releases a video.

01:13:51.000 Some local rapper guy made his rap video inside my car while it's stolen.

01:13:58.000 No!

01:13:59.000 You know, with the weed smoke and flapping the $100 bills and doing donuts and stuff.

01:14:04.000 In your car?

01:14:05.000 In my car while it's stolen.

01:14:08.000 Oh my god, that's insane.

01:14:10.000 That's hilarious.

01:14:13.000 Dude, what a life you've led.

01:14:15.000 Well, the car has led.

01:14:16.000 So that's one of the ones...

01:14:18.000 Yeah, but it falls in line with your life.

01:14:20.000 Yeah, so it's one that I might not get rid of.

01:14:23.000 I might have to keep that one.

01:14:23.000 Oh, you have to keep it.

01:14:25.000 You have to keep it.

01:14:26.000 Now, did you not have a GPS tracking on it or anything? 1.00

01:14:29.000 Oh, they can turn that shit off. 0.99

01:14:30.000 The second they get into the car, they pull the interface and you're gone. 0.99

01:14:35.000 But isn't there a way to like...

01:14:36.000 There's secondary like low jacks or whatever, but I didn't have that.

01:14:40.000 You know...

01:14:42.000 Didn't have any of that.

01:14:43.000 What's the best one of those?

01:14:45.000 Of what?

01:14:46.000 Low jack type deals.

01:14:47.000 I don't even know.

01:14:49.000 That just seems like a wise thing to have.

01:14:51.000 Not really.

01:14:52.000 No?

01:14:52.000 No.

01:14:53.000 Fuck it. 1.00

01:14:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:54.000 If it gets stolen and if you're smart, you're going to get better money from the insurance and it's worth it anyways.

01:14:58.000 But is it a money thing with some cars?

01:15:00.000 Some cars you want to keep them.

01:15:01.000 Well, there's truth to that.

01:15:03.000 Yeah.

01:15:03.000 Like, if my 65 Corvette got stolen, I'd be very bummed out.

01:15:08.000 Very bummed out.

01:15:09.000 I don't think I'd be able to handle that very well.

01:15:11.000 I need something on that car.

01:15:13.000 Yeah.

01:15:14.000 I get it.

01:15:14.000 That'd be me and my green Mustang.

01:15:17.000 Yeah.

01:15:17.000 There's certain cars that are just like...

01:15:19.000 They're more than just a car.

01:15:21.000 It's like I've experienced...

01:15:23.000 I used to...

01:15:23.000 Whenever I wanted to...

01:15:25.000 If I had an important comedy show at the store, I would bring that 65 Mustang. 0.98

01:15:30.000 Because it was a convertible, and it was loud as fuck, side pipes, just full America. 0.98

01:15:36.000 You know, just raging, roaring, V8, and it just felt alive. 0.99

01:15:40.000 No radio.

01:15:42.000 No, you don't need that.

01:15:43.000 The car doesn't have a radio.

01:15:45.000 It's just free.

01:15:47.000 But was it true radio delete, or it just didn't have one?

01:15:50.000 No, it was a resto mod.

01:15:52.000 Oh, okay.

01:15:53.000 Steve Stroop did it for me.

01:15:54.000 Got it, got it. 0.98

01:15:54.000 I bought it from RK Motors in Charlotte, and then I sent it to Steve Stroop, and Steve Stroop just decked that motherfucker out, put a supercharger on the LS1. It was, oh, wide-ass fucking fat tires. 0.98

01:16:08.000 Were you just waiting to get down the list far enough to actually have Gas Monkey build something? 0.99

01:16:12.000 This was a long time ago, man.

01:16:13.000 I didn't even know you.

01:16:15.000 I tell you, I'm more than ready to do something with you.

01:16:19.000 It was on Jay Leno's Garage.

01:16:21.000 See if you can find my 1965 Corvette.

01:16:25.000 I've always wanted a 65 because there's something about that shape.

01:16:29.000 That's the perfect time when America was busting out of the 50s and into the 60s, and these shapes were getting radical. 1.00

01:16:37.000 Look at that motherfucker. 1.00

01:16:38.000 Come on, son! 1.00

01:16:39.000 Look at that car!

01:16:41.000 Are those center lines? 1.00

01:16:42.000 That's right, bitch! 1.00

01:16:44.000 Center lines. 1.00

01:16:45.000 Center lines.

01:16:47.000 Flat.

01:16:47.000 People complained about them.

01:16:49.000 I'm like, eat shit, pussies. 1.00

01:16:50.000 That's what it's supposed to look like. 1.00

01:16:52.000 That car does not hurt my feelings.

01:16:53.000 It shouldn't.

01:16:54.000 It shouldn't. 1.00

01:16:56.000 That's a fucking amazing car. 0.99

01:16:59.000 I'd give them all up except that. 0.99

01:17:01.000 Every car I own.

01:17:02.000 I'm keeping that.

01:17:03.000 Forever.

01:17:03.000 I'm actually fixing to give up mine except for like three.

01:17:06.000 I'll never give that one up.

01:17:08.000 I'm fixing to sell them all.

01:17:09.000 Why?

01:17:09.000 What are you doing?

01:17:10.000 I told you, I'm making some changes.

01:17:13.000 Making some moves?

01:17:13.000 Yeah, making some moves.

01:17:15.000 Well, that is the beautiful thing about cars.

01:17:18.000 If you have a good car. 0.99

01:17:19.000 I can't drink this whiskey shit. 0.99

01:17:20.000 Where's the tequila? 1.00

01:17:21.000 You can.

01:17:22.000 Give it to me.

01:17:23.000 Yeah, you pour that in there.

01:17:24.000 Now that I know you don't have corona, I'll take your whiskey.

01:17:26.000 Yeah, we got tested just a minute ago.

01:17:27.000 Can I have my glass back?

01:17:29.000 Jesus. 0.99

01:17:29.000 What the fuck you gotta do around here? 0.99

01:17:35.000 The beautiful thing about those kind of cars is that someone always wants it. 0.99

01:17:40.000 Like, if you have a 1969 Boss Mustang, That is...

01:17:49.000 Someone's always going to want that car.

01:17:51.000 Yeah, but what I'm seeing in the market, being that I do that for business, is...

01:17:57.000 The 30s and 40s and almost the 50s have just dropped off the face of the planet.

01:18:03.000 30s, 40s, and 50s?

01:18:04.000 Hot rods.

01:18:05.000 Oh, 1930?

01:18:06.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:18:07.000 Those are ridiculous anyway. 0.93

01:18:08.000 Yeah, but I mean... 1.00

01:18:09.000 That's a fucking bread truck. 1.00

01:18:10.000 Come on! 1.00

01:18:11.000 Southern California, the birth of the hot rod. 1.00

01:18:13.000 Those people are ridiculous. 0.96

01:18:14.000 You know, 32 Ford. 1.00

01:18:16.000 I don't care about them.

01:18:17.000 I'm not interested.

01:18:19.000 Wow.

01:18:19.000 I'm interested in like early 60s to like 71. Yeah.

01:18:25.000 Salute, my friend.

01:18:25.000 Salute, sir.

01:18:26.000 So, how about this one for a hot rod?

01:18:29.000 I had a 63 Pontiac Bonneville Station Wagon 8-Lug 421 4-Speed.

01:18:37.000 And I bought it right here off of Congress Avenue one night.

01:18:41.000 Really?

01:18:41.000 Yeah.

01:18:42.000 What does it look like?

01:18:44.000 Blue with blue interior, bucket seats, in a wagon.

01:18:48.000 And it's a 421 8-Lug 4-Speed.

01:18:51.000 They have a big show here.

01:18:53.000 Four-speed wagon.

01:18:54.000 Respect. 1.00

01:18:54.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:18:55.000 Respect for a four-speed wagon. 1.00

01:18:57.000 Steve, God, I can never say his last name.

01:19:01.000 It starts with a W and ends with a couple of consonants.

01:19:04.000 But anyways, he has a big show here called Lone Star Roundup every year.

01:19:09.000 Big hot rod show right here in Austin.

01:19:11.000 You're going to love it.

01:19:12.000 When does that happen?

01:19:14.000 Usually right around Easter.

01:19:15.000 It's usually a weekend before, a weekend after.

01:19:18.000 It's coming up.

01:19:18.000 And it's a kick-ass old hot rod muscle car show.

01:19:24.000 And I saw this thing parked on the side of the road and I found the owner and I said, you know, you want to sell it?

01:19:28.000 They said, yeah.

01:19:29.000 So I snacked it up for eight grand right there because I knew what I had.

01:19:32.000 Got a picture of this type of vehicle?

01:19:35.000 Bonneville Station Wagon 421 8 Lux.

01:19:37.000 Do you have a picture of yours available online?

01:19:40.000 God, no.

01:19:41.000 This was 2004-05.

01:19:46.000 Isn't that funny?

01:19:47.000 That doesn't seem like that long ago.

01:19:49.000 You're 53, man.

01:19:51.000 I know, that's the problem.

01:19:53.000 First of all, my memory sucks, and my frame of reference is extended.

01:19:58.000 You know, when you're 53, 15 years ago doesn't seem that long.

01:20:01.000 Wow, look how pretty that is.

01:20:03.000 That's not a wagon, though.

01:20:05.000 That's not a wagon. 0.99

01:20:05.000 But that's a goddamn beautiful convertible. 0.99

01:20:07.000 Holy shit, that's nice. 1.00

01:20:11.000 When I was in... 0.98

01:20:12.000 Yeah, similar to that.

01:20:13.000 Look at that.

01:20:15.000 Oh, wow.

01:20:16.000 You had that in a four-speed?

01:20:18.000 Yeah, see, that's eight lug and the Bonneville, so it's the best trim package.

01:20:23.000 But mine had the 421, which was their three-deuce setup.

01:20:29.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:20:30.000 Right on.

01:20:31.000 Look at that.

01:20:32.000 421 Tri-Power.

01:20:34.000 I had one of those.

01:20:36.000 I sold that thing for a mint.

01:20:38.000 See, that is the kind of thing that only a muscle car guy would understand.

01:20:42.000 Because you say that to any woman.

01:20:44.000 You had a station wagon?

01:20:45.000 Why are you proud of that?

01:20:46.000 Like, no woman's going to be a... 1.00

01:20:48.000 Even Jamie, look at him over there.

01:20:49.000 Are you kidding me?

01:20:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:20:51.000 Isn't there a fuck about that goddamn station wagon? 1.00

01:20:53.000 Shit, I'll throw a freaking Indian blanket in the back of that and put my girl back there and show her what's up. 1.00

01:20:58.000 Indian blanket? 1.00

01:21:00.000 Why an Indian blanket?

01:21:02.000 Well, I was just thinking...

01:21:03.000 Well, Texas here, we have the Indian... 1.00

01:21:06.000 Sharpie? 0.99

01:21:08.000 I don't know what the fucking word for it is. 0.99

01:21:10.000 But you just throw that thing down. 0.99

01:21:12.000 So, like what...

01:21:15.000 Dennis Hopper had on the front of his motorcycle in Easy Rider.

01:21:18.000 You know, whatever that crazy blanket is.

01:21:21.000 I'm sure there's a million words for it.

01:21:23.000 Sorry if I offended any Indians.

01:21:25.000 Are you allowed to?

01:21:26.000 They just got back the Indians. 1.00

01:21:28.000 No, Cleveland just said they're not going to be the Indians anymore.

01:21:33.000 I'm saying the Native Americans just got it back. 1.00

01:21:35.000 They took it away.

01:21:37.000 So now they could be Indians. 0.99

01:21:39.000 They could be Indians and we can't. 1.00

01:21:41.000 What are they going to be now?

01:21:42.000 Probably the Cleveland baseball franchise, just like the Washington Redskins turned into the football team.

01:21:47.000 No!

01:21:48.000 They said it's temporary until they can have a consulting group help them come up with a great name.

01:21:53.000 We have no flavor.

01:21:54.000 We should consult for them.

01:21:55.000 Consulting pays big.

01:21:57.000 Well, Cleveland used to be the Indians. 0.99

01:22:02.000 You're an Ohio guy.

01:22:03.000 What's representative of Cleveland?

01:22:05.000 The Browns.

01:22:06.000 The Browns is their team, and that's named after a guy's last name.

01:22:10.000 The Browns and the Indians. 1.00

01:22:11.000 Okay.

01:22:12.000 Luckily it's named after a guy's name because that might be next.

01:22:16.000 Some people are hoping the Steamers gets picked up.

01:22:18.000 The Steamers?

01:22:19.000 The Steamers.

01:22:20.000 That's hilarious.

01:22:21.000 It's not really well.

01:22:22.000 That's hilarious.

01:22:23.000 It's an industry town, you know?

01:22:24.000 There's rock and roll and the WNBA team was named the Rockers.

01:22:28.000 Yeah, but what's going to happen when we get mad at Steel?

01:22:30.000 What's going to happen when we get mad at Steel and we don't like Steel anymore?

01:22:34.000 Pittsburgh's got to not use the Steelers.

01:22:36.000 They would not use the Steelers.

01:22:37.000 Cleveland would not do that.

01:22:38.000 Richard, you're an old-school American type dude. 0.59

01:22:40.000 What do we do about all this political correctness? 0.99

01:22:43.000 I think everybody's got to fucking check themselves. 0.98

01:22:46.000 I mean, it's just life. 0.98

01:22:47.000 Do you think it's just too many people have the opportunity to complain?

01:22:52.000 That's what I think.

01:22:53.000 I think so. 0.98

01:22:54.000 With the internet and social media the way it is, I mean, like I said earlier in the broadcast, there's an ass for every seat. 1.00

01:23:01.000 Well, there's an idiot for every fucking thing out there. 1.00

01:23:04.000 And there's probably 10. So no matter what you come up with, there's going to be somebody that decides to side with you. 1.00

01:23:10.000 And it's like, really?

01:23:11.000 You don't like grape Slurpees?

01:23:13.000 And now you've got a gang that's hanging out at the 7-11 telling people not to eat grape Slurpees.

01:23:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:19.000 It's that stupid. 1.00

01:23:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:22.000 I know what you're saying, but it's not a good time because...

01:23:27.000 When you allow people to complain, do you have children?

01:23:31.000 I do.

01:23:31.000 You know what?

01:23:32.000 I've got a boy, Chandler.

01:23:35.000 I guess he's 23 right now.

01:23:37.000 Oh, so you've gone through the whole course.

01:23:39.000 So you know what it's like to raise a young one.

01:23:41.000 No, no, no.

01:23:42.000 I don't.

01:23:43.000 His mom raised him.

01:23:44.000 Oh, really?

01:23:45.000 Yeah.

01:23:45.000 I unfortunately wasn't involved in that.

01:23:49.000 It was more of a...

01:23:51.000 How would you politically say this?

01:23:54.000 I had him on the weekends and Thanksgiving.

01:23:56.000 It wasn't a very fun process for him or me, but he's a good kid.

01:24:01.000 He's working his way through life and trying to figure it out.

01:24:06.000 We've all been there.

01:24:07.000 Listen, that's what made me who I am. 0.99

01:24:10.000 I'm fortunate that I had a fucked up childhood because it gave me motivation. 0.97

01:24:14.000 You hear that, Chandler? 0.98

01:24:15.000 In a lot of ways.

01:24:17.000 And then it's made me a much more attentive father.

01:24:20.000 Made me pay attention.

01:24:22.000 Yeah, you got two girls, right?

01:24:23.000 Yeah, three.

01:24:24.000 Three?

01:24:25.000 Yeah, three. 0.99

01:24:26.000 But what I was going to get at is that when you're raising kids and you see them and they're young, they complain about shit that they shouldn't complain about. 0.98

01:24:35.000 And you got to say, listen... 0.99

01:24:38.000 This is silly. 0.97

01:24:39.000 You're complaining about this. 0.97

01:24:39.000 This is not that big a deal. 0.97

01:24:41.000 Let's just do this and get it over with.

01:24:43.000 And they make it seem like it's the end of the world.

01:24:45.000 Like if they can't watch TV at 8 o'clock at night.

01:24:48.000 Like, look, you got to go to bed.

01:24:49.000 You got to be at school.

01:24:51.000 And they think it's the end of the world.

01:25:11.000 I agree. 1.00

01:25:15.000 They're almost all losers. 1.00

01:25:17.000 This is the problem. 0.98

01:25:18.000 If you want to complain about things all day long, that is time that you're not spending doing the things you want to do.

01:25:25.000 Correct. 0.99

01:25:25.000 That is time that you're not spending improving your situation, improving your career, getting your life together, whatever the fuck you're trying to do. 0.99

01:25:34.000 Drinking beer? 0.99

01:25:35.000 That too.

01:25:36.000 You can't take away from it.

01:25:37.000 Anytime you spend complaining about...

01:25:41.000 Nonsensical things which is what a lot of what the internet is. 0.99

01:25:44.000 It's time you're not thinking about yourself and they don't realize it because a lot of these people were raised by people that were raised by other people that were idiots and this is what a lot of society is. 0.99

01:25:55.000 It's like you got your parents are morons and then you got to figure out how to not be like your parents and then you start raising kids your own like shit I got to figure out what they did to me and I want to not do that to these kids Some people don't get that, all right? 1.00

01:26:09.000 You get morons making morons who make morons, and those morons get a Twitter account, and they start just fucking just spewing. 1.00

01:26:17.000 And they have a venue. 1.00

01:26:19.000 And then other morons jump on board like, yeah, you're right, you're right, yeah, fuck them, they're all wrong. 1.00

01:26:25.000 And then you get all these idiots that find like a little echo chamber, and they all spew in the same hole. 1.00

01:26:32.000 That's what they do. 1.00

01:26:33.000 I mean, it's like I tell a...

01:26:34.000 We get some hate mail and stuff, you know, and hate stuff on the old Twitters and Instagrams and everything.

01:26:38.000 And I'm like, alright.

01:26:40.000 You know, you know so much about me. 0.99

01:26:42.000 You must be a fan because you're fucking watching. 1.00

01:26:45.000 And you're probably sitting in your mom's basement in your gas muggy t-shirt talking shit. 1.00

01:26:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:50.000 I know that they want to bring you down because they look at you and you're having too much fun.

01:26:54.000 That's really what it is.

01:26:56.000 It's what it is in a lot of cases.

01:26:57.000 They want to bring you down because you're having too much fun.

01:26:59.000 But you've got to resist that.

01:27:02.000 What is that expression?

01:27:06.000 Envy or anger is the only thing that poisons the vessel that holds it.

01:27:16.000 Yeah.

01:27:17.000 It's very deep.

01:27:18.000 It is deep.

01:27:19.000 It would be better if I said it right.

01:27:20.000 Yeah, it would have been a lot better. 0.97

01:27:21.000 It's one of those things where if you think about someone all the time and you're like, fucking Richard Ron, what is that? 1.00

01:27:28.000 That guy sucks at this and his fucking bullshit and this. 0.99

01:27:32.000 They're paying so much attention hating you that if you looked at a pie chart of their life, like how much time do you spend loving and being a good friend and having a lot of laughs? 1.00

01:27:54.000 Anger is an acid that can do more to harm the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

01:28:01.000 That's not necessarily true.

01:28:03.000 No, it's not.

01:28:04.000 Some anger can fuck up the whole world if you're Genghis Khan.

01:28:08.000 He did a lot more to other people than his own vessel. 0.98

01:28:11.000 Oh yeah, he fucked up the place. 0.99

01:28:12.000 He fucked up the whole world. 0.95

01:28:14.000 But you gotta give him a little bit of credit. 0.99

01:28:15.000 Killed 10% of the population. 1.00

01:28:17.000 He said, I'm just gonna fucking come in here and take shit. 1.00

01:28:20.000 Did you ever... 1.00

01:28:20.000 There's a guy named Dan Carlin. 1.00

01:28:22.000 He has a podcast called Hardcore History.

01:28:24.000 Have you ever heard of it?

01:28:25.000 I have, but I haven't listened to a lot of them. 0.91

01:28:27.000 He has a series called The Wrath of the Khan and it is the craziest fucking depiction of Genghis Khan and his ancestors that I've ever heard or seen. 0.98

01:28:38.000 It's like five parts and it's fucking incredible. 0.99

01:28:43.000 That guy killed somewhere between 20 and 50 million people while he was alive. 0.99

01:28:50.000 He killed 10% of the population of Earth.

01:28:53.000 They changed the carbon footprint.

01:28:55.000 The Mongols killed so many people. 1.00

01:28:57.000 It literally changed the carbon footprint of Earth.

01:29:00.000 Like, what humans have on Earth.

01:29:02.000 Like, if you do a core sample, they're like, why is there so little carbon?

01:29:05.000 Oh, that's when Genghis Khan was alive. 0.99

01:29:07.000 He killed so many people.

01:29:08.000 There was 10% less people.

01:29:10.000 You can measure it. 0.99

01:29:10.000 No shit. 0.99

01:29:11.000 I never heard that. 1.00

01:29:12.000 That's pretty crazy.

01:29:13.000 I can't remember.

01:29:13.000 I know he's been on before, and I don't remember if you've asked this yet, but...

01:29:17.000 He doesn't script that out.

01:29:18.000 The whole show, it's not written.

01:29:20.000 Really?

01:29:21.000 He ad-libs everything.

01:29:23.000 What if you study something that far?

01:29:24.000 Like, he knows it enough that he tells the story.

01:29:26.000 He's so good.

01:29:27.000 What he does is not a podcast.

01:29:29.000 Like, this is a podcast. 0.98

01:29:30.000 You and I, we're fucking getting a pile of empty beers. 0.99

01:29:33.000 We got whiskey. 0.99

01:29:34.000 This is a podcast. 1.00

01:29:35.000 We're talking shit. 0.99

01:29:36.000 What he does is like an audio entertainment historical educational experience. 1.00

01:29:43.000 It's fucking great. 0.91

01:29:44.000 He's a national treasure, that guy, because he makes history interesting. 0.99

01:29:48.000 Wow.

01:29:48.000 Yeah.

01:29:50.000 Dan Carlin.

01:29:51.000 And I think it costs only...

01:29:52.000 Most of them are free, the ones that are current for free, but they're so expensive to make and it takes so long to make them...

01:29:59.000 There he is.

01:29:59.000 ...that you have to go...

01:30:02.000 That is a lot.

01:30:03.000 He does a lot of them.

01:30:04.000 See, I love that stuff.

01:30:05.000 You just taught me something.

01:30:06.000 I'm going to have to start watching them.

01:30:07.000 They're all incredible, but the Wrath of the Cons is definitely not free anymore.

01:30:12.000 When I downloaded it, it was free.

01:30:15.000 Wrath of the Cons series.

01:30:16.000 There it is.

01:30:17.000 So $10, and I'm telling you, it is some of the most amazing entertainment and history.

01:30:23.000 I'm doing it.

01:30:24.000 A history lesson. 0.99

01:30:25.000 It's fucking incredible. 0.97

01:30:26.000 I'm doing it because I read a lot of that stuff. 0.97

01:30:29.000 Most people think I can't read, but I can read, so...

01:30:32.000 I think you can read.

01:30:34.000 If it's small letters.

01:30:35.000 Who thinks you can't read?

01:30:36.000 I'm just saying.

01:30:36.000 Who are those people?

01:30:37.000 I have no idea who those people are.

01:30:39.000 Those people, they need to relax.

01:30:40.000 They need a hug.

01:30:41.000 Yeah.

01:30:42.000 They think you can't read?

01:30:44.000 There's going to be a lot of people that need a hug because I just lowered the boom on your podcast that there's no fast and loud anymore.

01:30:51.000 You'll be fine.

01:30:52.000 Oh, I'll be fine.

01:30:53.000 It's great.

01:30:54.000 Change is great.

01:30:55.000 I love change.

01:30:56.000 Change is awesome.

01:30:57.000 It's so good.

01:30:58.000 It gives you a chance to reinvigorate.

01:31:00.000 And also, it lets you know that things don't last. 1.00

01:31:03.000 Like, you gotta fucking just pick up your shit. 1.00

01:31:07.000 Well, we're the first generation of that, you know, at our age. 1.00

01:31:11.000 You know, our parents and stuff, we're used to things just...

01:31:14.000 Staying forever.

01:31:15.000 You know, let's watch 27 years of MASH or whatever, right?

01:31:20.000 And then you take it to the kids that are even 18 today.

01:31:25.000 Hell, if it lasts three hours, they're impressed. 1.00

01:31:28.000 Yeah, they're bored as fuck. 0.99

01:31:29.000 Everything's all TikTok-y. 1.00

01:31:31.000 I hate TikTok.

01:31:32.000 I can't do it.

01:31:33.000 Yeah, I got kids, and they TikTok. 0.82

01:31:35.000 One of my daughters TikToks all the time. 1.00

01:31:37.000 She's still in the house, like, TikTok-ing.

01:31:39.000 I don't understand what that is, though.

01:31:40.000 Kids TikTok across the land.

01:31:43.000 Hey, watch out.

01:31:44.000 Don't be throwing stuff around.

01:31:46.000 I got crazy.

01:31:49.000 They're all TikTok-ing, man. 0.99

01:31:50.000 I was watching some kid the other day at the mall, and his parents are in front of him, and he's like, fucking TikTok-ing. 0.99

01:31:57.000 I don't get it. 0.99

01:31:58.000 Because you're 51?

01:31:59.000 What are you, 51?

01:32:00.000 I'm 51. Yeah.

01:32:01.000 How the fuck are we supposed to get it? 0.97

01:32:03.000 I don't know. 0.97

01:32:04.000 When we were kids, you would listen to FM radio.

01:32:07.000 Yeah, and I hit the light post with a tennis ball.

01:32:13.000 Wasn't there a...

01:32:14.000 Not only was Soul Train popular, but Dick Clark had that show.

01:32:19.000 You're going back a little far, man.

01:32:20.000 That's a little bit...

01:32:21.000 Don't make me come over that screen.

01:32:23.000 American Bandstand was kind of before our time.

01:32:26.000 Was that in the 50s?

01:32:28.000 60s.

01:32:28.000 Was there something like that in the 70s or no?

01:32:31.000 Soul Train was in the 70s.

01:32:32.000 Soul Train was in the 70s.

01:32:34.000 But the thing is, high school for me is 81. I feel like coming of age is 81 to 85. Those are the years where...

01:32:41.000 Yeah, that's me.

01:32:42.000 Yeah, that's where Van Halen... 1.00

01:32:44.000 Van Halen was the shit, you know? 0.99

01:32:46.000 So looking at Soul Train in my head, that's TikTok, though, right? 1.00

01:32:49.000 They're dancing in front of a camera.

01:32:51.000 Right.

01:32:51.000 Trying to get famous.

01:32:52.000 I see what you're saying.

01:32:53.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:54.000 There was Danny Terrio's...

01:32:56.000 Now, Danny Terrio's Dance Fever.

01:32:58.000 Yes.

01:32:58.000 If you can find the credits to Danny Terrio's Dance Fever...

01:33:03.000 My mother owned a company with her boyfriend at the time that was called Funky Designs.

01:33:11.000 And they provided a lot of the dresses for the girls on Danny Terrio's Dance Fever.

01:33:17.000 Danny Terrio's Dance Fever.

01:33:19.000 I literally haven't thought of that for 40 years.

01:33:23.000 It just popped into my head for whatever reason.

01:33:26.000 40 years?

01:33:26.000 There it is.

01:33:27.000 Yeah.

01:33:27.000 There it is.

01:33:28.000 What year was this?

01:33:29.000 1979. Yeah, 40 years.

01:33:30.000 Yeah.

01:33:31.000 I didn't think about this.

01:33:32.000 Right after it was off the air, I stopped thinking about it.

01:33:34.000 So I don't know if it was every episode or not, but I know that she provided...

01:33:38.000 Is that Danny Terrio?

01:33:39.000 Where's he at now?

01:33:40.000 How is that?

01:33:44.000 He was the Ryan Seacrest of 1979. So my mother's company put up a lot of the dresses and apparel for these girls. 1.00

01:33:58.000 Hold on, back up a little bit.

01:34:00.000 Let me see Danny again.

01:34:00.000 What's going on with his tie?

01:34:03.000 It's probably a sock tie.

01:34:04.000 Back up so I don't see your volume thing.

01:34:07.000 What's his tie?

01:34:08.000 What's happening with his tie?

01:34:09.000 Is it outside or is it inside?

01:34:11.000 Yeah, it's very short.

01:34:12.000 It's like a short tie.

01:34:14.000 That is preposterous.

01:34:17.000 Him and Ralph Macchio could be brothers, easily, right?

01:34:20.000 I think that...

01:34:21.000 Are we sure Danny Terrio's not Simon Cowell as a young man?

01:34:26.000 He definitely isn't.

01:34:28.000 He definitely isn't.

01:34:29.000 Because I don't think Simon can move like that.

01:34:32.000 Simon fell in his driveway...

01:34:34.000 On an electric bike. 1.00

01:34:35.000 And he's fucked. 1.00

01:34:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:37.000 Like, literally fucked. 1.00

01:34:38.000 Like, his spine is shattered. 1.00

01:34:40.000 Yeah, he's suing those people, I heard.

01:34:42.000 The electric bike people?

01:34:44.000 Yeah.

01:34:44.000 Come on.

01:34:44.000 Learn how to fucking handle it.

01:34:46.000 You got on a freaking bike? 1.00

01:34:47.000 It's your problem. 1.00

01:34:48.000 Jesus Christ, you fell. 0.99

01:34:50.000 Is he really fucking suing? 0.99

01:34:51.000 I saw it the other day. 1.00

01:34:53.000 Calm the fuck on. 0.99

01:34:54.000 I'm not kidding. 1.00

01:34:54.000 That drives me crazy. 1.00

01:34:57.000 Everybody's all sue-happy.

01:34:57.000 Everybody knew what it is.

01:34:59.000 It's not a Nerf ball that you're climbing inside of.

01:35:01.000 This headline says he could sue, not that he did sue.

01:35:03.000 Oh.

01:35:04.000 Oh, is that what it was?

01:35:05.000 Sorry, Simon.

01:35:06.000 Sorry, Simon.

01:35:07.000 Shout out to Simon.

01:35:08.000 Stay strong.

01:35:09.000 Heel up, brother.

01:35:10.000 In case we're hanging out polo club later.

01:35:12.000 Heel up, brother.

01:35:17.000 That guy's always so mean.

01:35:18.000 And then he became a vegan for compassion.

01:35:21.000 Like, what?

01:35:22.000 Come on, man. 0.99

01:35:23.000 Who the fuck is a vegan for compassion? 1.00

01:35:25.000 He's been mean to everybody for so long. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Like, that show is all about...

01:35:28.000 It's part of his gig.

01:35:30.000 This is from a whistleblower from inside the company.

01:35:33.000 It says that...

01:35:34.000 Which, if this is true, it is a little extreme.

01:35:37.000 Like, the e-bike I have only goes to 20 miles an hour.

01:35:39.000 It stops there.

01:35:40.000 This one can go up to 60. Good.

01:35:42.000 Make it go 100. I need...

01:35:44.000 Yeah, fast and loud.

01:35:45.000 You're talking to Richard Rawls.

01:35:46.000 I need that! 0.98

01:35:47.000 How about you shut your hole, Jamie? 1.00

01:35:48.000 What are you, a fucking socialist? 1.00

01:35:50.000 Yeah, I've been trying to learn how to ride my Onewheel. 1.00

01:35:53.000 Have you seen the Onewheels?

01:35:54.000 Yeah, we got one of those.

01:35:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:35:55.000 Yeah, Rich Benoit from Rich Rebuilds brought us one, right?

01:36:00.000 That's where we got it.

01:36:01.000 Yeah.

01:36:02.000 Yeah.

01:36:03.000 Rich Rebuilds.

01:36:04.000 He had his own.

01:36:05.000 They sent us some.

01:36:06.000 Oh, that's right.

01:36:07.000 We talked about it on the podcast.

01:36:09.000 Rich came on the show.

01:36:11.000 Did you ever watch that YouTube show?

01:36:13.000 I have. 0.97

01:36:13.000 Rich Rebuilds has a great YouTube show because he's basically one of the very first guys that does electric cars and takes total Teslas and he'll take the engine out of this one and he'll put it in the body of that one and he's gone way out of his way to sort of highlight the fact that these fucking cars are impossible for a regular person to fix. 0.97

01:36:36.000 So then he built his own garage in Boston called the Electric Garage.

01:36:40.000 Electric Garage or Electrified Garage?

01:36:43.000 What is his garage?

01:36:45.000 Electric garage.

01:36:46.000 So he's like a renegade electrified.

01:36:50.000 He's a renegade electric car guy. 0.99

01:36:54.000 He had to jury rig some shit in his car to even get it to work. 0.97

01:36:59.000 And he had to buy the key from the dude who owned the car. 0.99

01:37:03.000 He had to find the guy who originally owned it.

01:37:06.000 Because he couldn't just get a key.

01:37:07.000 He couldn't go to Tesla and say, Hey, I bought this car.

01:37:09.000 And then I bought another car, put the engine in that one.

01:37:12.000 Can I get a key? 0.93

01:37:13.000 Like if you went to Chevy and you said, hey, I bought a 2005 Z06 and I swapped the engine out with a fucking 2015 Z06 and this and that.

01:37:26.000 No, it's complicated now.

01:37:28.000 They would give you a key though.

01:37:29.000 They would help.

01:37:30.000 To a point.

01:37:31.000 But they would work with you.

01:37:32.000 Wouldn't they work with you?

01:37:33.000 I think Chevy would work with you.

01:37:35.000 It's getting a little crazy now with all this electronics.

01:37:38.000 Because they're controlling something that is potentially profitable, so they want to make their profit on it.

01:37:44.000 So they might work with you, but they might charge you $2,000 for that key.

01:37:50.000 That's a car.

01:37:51.000 My first car cost like $350.

01:37:55.000 Mine was $250.

01:37:57.000 I bought a 73 Chevelle.

01:37:58.000 It died like two days after I bought it.

01:38:01.000 How could $2,000 get you a key?

01:38:04.000 Oh, we lost the key to the Rover the other day and they want $900 to replace the car we own.

01:38:12.000 I'm like, are you kidding me?

01:38:13.000 $900 for a key?

01:38:15.000 Yeah. 0.91

01:38:15.000 That seems ridiculous. 0.91

01:38:17.000 It's absolutely ridiculous. 0.95

01:38:18.000 Is it one of those keys that has a little LCD where you can change the songs on? 0.99

01:38:21.000 No, it doesn't do shit.

01:38:22.000 It just opens and unlocks the doors. 0.99

01:38:23.000 It's an old-ass rover, man.

01:38:27.000 Why is it so expensive? 0.63

01:38:28.000 Because they can.

01:38:30.000 Did you ask?

01:38:31.000 Yeah, because they can.

01:38:34.000 That's the bottom line.

01:38:36.000 But the... 1.00

01:38:39.000 Shit, I had a thought and I lost it. 1.00

01:38:41.000 You know what I really worry about? 0.99

01:38:42.000 What?

01:38:43.000 Autonomous cars.

01:38:44.000 You know why?

01:38:45.000 What?

01:38:46.000 Because they're going to be better.

01:38:47.000 They're going to be safer.

01:38:48.000 They're going to get us where we need to go.

01:38:50.000 Everyone is going to know.

01:38:51.000 Every car is going to know where every other car is.

01:38:54.000 It's going to be real simple.

01:38:56.000 Every car is going to avoid accidents.

01:38:59.000 They're going to go the speed limit.

01:39:00.000 If you need a car, it's going to encourage people to take public transportation because, like, why do I even need a car if I can't even drive it?

01:39:08.000 I'll just start using public cars or public transportation.

01:39:12.000 What if you're in a hurry or you want to go fast or you want to do a burnout?

01:39:15.000 That's the point.

01:39:17.000 That's dangerous.

01:39:18.000 All those things are very independent.

01:39:22.000 They're very American.

01:39:24.000 They're also very dangerous.

01:39:25.000 Correct.

01:39:26.000 But I mean, like California saying, they want 20, 35 only electric cars.

01:39:32.000 California's the birthplace of hot rodding.

01:39:34.000 That guy's just trying to be president.

01:39:36.000 He'll never be president. 1.00

01:39:37.000 He's a douchebag. 1.00

01:39:38.000 Well, now he's probably got a real rough road of it when they busted him eating dinner inside without a mask. 0.99

01:39:44.000 And there's a recall right now.

01:39:47.000 A Gavin Newsom recall that's at 800,000 signatures so far.

01:39:53.000 If you go to recallgavin.com, I don't know which one it is, but...

01:39:58.000 I don't know anything about it.

01:39:59.000 All I know is that...

01:40:00.000 That idea that you're going to stop in 2035, the problem is there's people that are working right now on carbon...

01:40:08.000 What is it?

01:40:09.000 With a star dimmed.

01:40:11.000 California's Newsom could face recall.

01:40:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:13.000 He fucked up. 1.00

01:40:14.000 He fucked up with a lot of things, but he really fucked up getting caught in that restaurant with no mask on, inside, sitting right next to each other. 1.00

01:40:21.000 1.5 million petitions. 0.99

01:40:23.000 They've got nearly half of what they need is what that is.

01:40:25.000 So it's the $800,000.

01:40:26.000 Yeah.

01:40:26.000 Sorry, I thought that's what it said to you.

01:40:28.000 Yeah, not good.

01:40:30.000 But what are you going to do?

01:40:30.000 I mean, I like...

01:40:32.000 If I can't go out and smell the gasoline and hear the roar and feel the car...

01:40:37.000 We're the last of the Mohicans.

01:40:39.000 This is what I think.

01:40:40.000 I think guys who grew up like you and I did when we were kids...

01:40:44.000 I worked at a gas station and...

01:40:47.000 Same.

01:40:48.000 My friend John had a brother.

01:40:50.000 And his brother drove by Cliffy.

01:40:53.000 Cliffy Jewett.

01:40:54.000 He drove by at a 65 GTO convertible.

01:40:57.000 And we would all just watch him drive by like, wow...

01:41:01.000 And his license plate was chirps, because he would, like, chirp the gears as he was going through first or second.

01:41:06.000 Yeah, chirp the tires.

01:41:07.000 And we would all just sit there when he drove by, like, wow, there it is.

01:41:11.000 There it is.

01:41:12.000 For me, it was a part of those kind of cars, those muscle cars from the 60s and early 70s.

01:41:19.000 They were a part of life.

01:41:21.000 Like, that was what you aspired to.

01:41:23.000 You know?

01:41:25.000 That and good times, man.

01:41:27.000 Yes.

01:41:27.000 Yeah.

01:41:29.000 Both of those good times vans.

01:41:33.000 Scooby-Doo vans.

01:41:35.000 Do you remember the vans where people used to have Conan the Barbarian? 0.95

01:41:38.000 Like the fucking Frank Rosetta thing spray-painted on the side?

01:41:42.000 Yeah, the fire-breathing dragon with the dude on there with the sword. 0.99

01:41:46.000 Yes!

01:41:47.000 Yeah, there was a bunch of those vans from that day that were custom vans that were made with those fantasy paintings on them.

01:41:56.000 There you go.

01:41:56.000 That's it.

01:41:57.000 Oh, Close Encounters.

01:41:58.000 Close Encounters, yeah.

01:41:59.000 Bro, that looks amazing.

01:42:01.000 Look, side pipes. 1.00

01:42:02.000 That van is the shit. 1.00

01:42:03.000 That van is the shit. 1.00

01:42:05.000 Come on, son. 1.00

01:42:06.000 That's a podcast fan.

01:42:09.000 Jamie.

01:42:10.000 Do we?

01:42:13.000 Why not?

01:42:13.000 We should.

01:42:14.000 I could build that.

01:42:15.000 We've talked about it.

01:42:15.000 I could build you a podcast, man.

01:42:17.000 Oh, now we're talking.

01:42:19.000 Should we do what Tim Pool did?

01:42:20.000 Or should we do like this?

01:42:23.000 Be kind of more Vanny. 0.99

01:42:25.000 Maybe there's, like, a value in being more vanning.

01:42:27.000 We could spray paint one of those cool Mercedes vans, too.

01:42:31.000 We don't have to go with the small thing.

01:42:32.000 But the thing is, like, these have the whole side, like, no windows.

01:42:35.000 I had one of these when I delivered newspapers.

01:42:38.000 You delivered it?

01:42:39.000 I had a GMC. Why did we have such parallel lives?

01:42:41.000 I delivered newspapers as a kid from the time I was eight until I was, well, I left home.

01:42:47.000 It was my dad's third job.

01:42:49.000 Back then, you had a newspaper in the morning and in the evening.

01:42:53.000 Oh.

01:42:53.000 In Fort Worth.

01:42:55.000 You had an evening, a morning paper and an evening paper.

01:42:58.000 And so my dad would get me up at like, oh, three o'clock in the morning.

01:43:03.000 No matter what the weather, I'd put on whatever gear and I'd sit in the backseat of a four-door Dodge and throw...

01:43:09.000 I'd wrap the newspapers or rubber band them and throw them into the front.

01:43:14.000 And then...

01:43:16.000 He'd throw them out either side.

01:43:18.000 Yeah.

01:43:18.000 And I had to race home from school to get back in the car and do it again after he finished his job as a produce manager.

01:43:25.000 And then you said something else earlier that we've both done work to the gas station.

01:43:28.000 Yeah.

01:43:29.000 Yeah.

01:43:30.000 So look at that.

01:43:31.000 Newspaper, the best thing about delivering newspapers for me was that you didn't really have to talk to anybody.

01:43:37.000 Just go and do it.

01:43:38.000 And for me, it was perfect.

01:43:40.000 I would just, I would listen to the morning radio and Sometimes nothing at all.

01:43:46.000 I would just think.

01:43:47.000 Just think about life.

01:43:48.000 Fold papers.

01:43:49.000 Stuff them in those plastic bags.

01:43:50.000 Plastic bags hanging from the rear view.

01:43:52.000 And then chuck them out the windows.

01:43:54.000 And I was good.

01:43:54.000 I was good at chucking them out the windows.

01:43:56.000 And then I had a few older ladies in particular where I'd deliver their newspaper inside their door. 1.00

01:44:02.000 You had to open them.

01:44:03.000 But I would resist that for most folks. 0.94

01:44:05.000 Like a lot of lazy dudes.

01:44:07.000 They didn't want to go out to the driveway to get the newspaper.

01:44:09.000 Like, would you put it inside the screen door? 1.00

01:44:11.000 Like, come on, bitch. 1.00

01:44:12.000 You can walk. 1.00

01:44:13.000 This is for old people. 1.00

01:44:14.000 But do you remember the little ticket book where you collected and you'd have to go knock on people's door on Saturday afternoon and be like, dude, you owe me $2. 0.92

01:44:23.000 The ticket book was a bummer because guys would get mad at you because they owed money for getting the fucking newspaper delivered. 0.67

01:44:29.000 And they said, you know, there was about two Saturdays ago I didn't get the supplemental with all the coupons. 0.97

01:44:35.000 Yeah.

01:44:37.000 That's because I took it out because you owe me money, boo.

01:44:40.000 Listen, I don't know what you're talking about, man.

01:44:42.000 You've got to complain.

01:44:43.000 I'm here every morning at your house delivering you a newspaper.

01:44:46.000 Please give me the money.

01:44:47.000 But it taught me a lot about discipline because it was a 365-day-a-year job.

01:44:54.000 There was no days off.

01:44:55.000 I did not have a single day off delivering newspapers unless I had a fight.

01:45:00.000 I had to travel outside of the state.

01:45:02.000 In that case, I had someone take over for me.

01:45:05.000 I had one of the other guys at the dispatch.

01:45:08.000 But every day, snow, rain, it didn't matter.

01:45:11.000 Every day I was up at 4.30 in the morning and I'd go to the dispatch and I'd get my papers and I'd do my route.

01:45:18.000 And I was done somewhere around 8. Same thing here.

01:45:21.000 Same thing here.

01:45:21.000 And then I'd go straight to school.

01:45:23.000 For me, it was godsend. 0.99

01:45:24.000 Because I can get money without having to have a boss hanging over my fucking shoulder every day. 0.99

01:45:30.000 Growing up in a fucked up childhood, it was not good for listening to authority. 1.00

01:45:37.000 I was bad at that. 0.99

01:45:38.000 Because I didn't get a lot of it in the house.

01:45:40.000 So I was like, I just wasn't a good employee.

01:45:43.000 Like, really.

01:45:44.000 I wouldn't want me working for me.

01:45:46.000 Unless...

01:45:47.000 There was a job where you didn't have to talk to me.

01:45:50.000 I knew how to discipline myself. 1.00

01:45:52.000 And then learning how to discipline myself further with this thing where it's like, just shut the fuck up and do it. 0.99

01:46:00.000 Just go there and do it. 0.99

01:46:02.000 And when it's over, then it's over.

01:46:04.000 But you have to get zen about it.

01:46:06.000 You have to just do the work.

01:46:08.000 And that taught me a lot in life.

01:46:10.000 Because learning how to grind, that was a big part of my childhood.

01:46:17.000 Learning how to just show up, deliver the newspapers, and go home and go back to bed and take a nap.

01:46:23.000 That's a valuable lesson, man.

01:46:25.000 Same here.

01:46:26.000 I mean, that's the way I grew up.

01:46:28.000 So I did that.

01:46:30.000 I mowed yards.

01:46:31.000 I did that too.

01:46:32.000 I bought and sold cars.

01:46:33.000 I worked for a landscaper.

01:46:35.000 Yeah.

01:46:36.000 Yeah.

01:46:36.000 But the good thing is, you know, I knew where all the cars were.

01:46:40.000 You know, throwing newspapers, I'm driving that neighborhood every day.

01:46:44.000 You know, I see that garage door up, I'm like, eh, that might be an RSSS. I don't know. 0.85

01:46:50.000 I bought a lot of cars that way.

01:46:52.000 Well, when I was in high school, there was a few kids that were real hard work.

01:46:55.000 Luckily, that's the other thing about New England, growing up in Boston.

01:46:59.000 Those people are hard working folks.

01:47:01.000 They work hard. 0.99

01:47:02.000 And it's because of the fact that you have to shovel your fucking driveway or you can't get out. 0.99

01:47:07.000 Yep. 0.99

01:47:08.000 There's no just waking up.

01:47:10.000 You're living in Miami. 0.99

01:47:12.000 It's like fucking 75 in the morning. 0.99

01:47:14.000 You get in your car. 0.99

01:47:15.000 Oh, they shovel their snow in Miami.

01:47:17.000 Yeah.

01:47:20.000 Trust me on that.

01:47:21.000 It's more like spooning it.

01:47:27.000 People are moving there now, too.

01:47:28.000 Yeah.

01:47:29.000 A lot of Silicon Valley is moving to Miami.

01:47:32.000 That's a wrong move.

01:47:33.000 It's not the right move.

01:47:34.000 No.

01:47:35.000 But good.

01:47:35.000 I'm happy.

01:47:36.000 I'm like, make that sucker move. 0.94

01:47:38.000 I've been here for four months, and I was like, get out of here. 0.99

01:47:42.000 Don't move here.

01:47:43.000 Oh, you already think you're a Texan.

01:47:46.000 You're ready to rock.

01:47:47.000 I'm not just a Texan, but I'm an exclusionist.

01:47:50.000 I'm trying to keep other people from coming.

01:47:52.000 Yeah, I hate it here.

01:47:54.000 Don't come here. 0.97

01:47:54.000 It's horrible. 0.97

01:47:55.000 Except comedians.

01:47:56.000 I'm trying to move comedians in.

01:47:57.000 But that's something we're working on.

01:47:59.000 Oh, Texas is going to be the comedian capital of the world.

01:48:02.000 Austin is, as much as I can make it.

01:48:04.000 Well, it's always been the country music and the barbecue capital of Texas, so do we go for a comedian capital?

01:48:10.000 Well, we need a spot, and we don't have a spot right now.

01:48:14.000 New York is shut down.

01:48:15.000 L.A. is shut down.

01:48:17.000 And I've been doing these shows with Dave Chappelle at Stubbs BBQ in town over the last few weeks.

01:48:23.000 I've seen a couple of those. 0.96

01:48:24.000 Bro, they've been fucking amazing. 0.94

01:48:25.000 They're so much fun. 0.96

01:48:26.000 We COVID test the whole crowd, so the whole crowd can be jammed in there.

01:48:30.000 400 people.

01:48:31.000 Where's my invite for the next one?

01:48:33.000 You're coming, brother.

01:48:34.000 Well, tomorrow night and Wednesday are the next two nights.

01:48:37.000 Well, I'll just stay.

01:48:38.000 Stay! 0.64

01:48:40.000 Stay! 0.64

01:48:41.000 I got nothing to do.

01:48:42.000 Did I tell you I'm not with Discovery anymore?

01:48:44.000 We just made plans.

01:48:46.000 Let's do a double date.

01:48:47.000 My wife's coming, too.

01:48:48.000 Oh, yeah?

01:48:49.000 Right on.

01:48:51.000 Excellent.

01:48:53.000 But anyway, the point is, comics have been already coming here.

01:48:58.000 Tony Hinchcliffe started moving here.

01:49:00.000 He moved here.

01:49:01.000 Brian Redman moved here.

01:49:04.000 Tom Segura is going to move here, but he just broke his arm and his leg. 0.99

01:49:07.000 How the fuck do you do that? 0.99

01:49:09.000 Dunking at 46. Tried to dunk. 0.99

01:49:13.000 Yeah.

01:49:14.000 Wasn't good.

01:49:15.000 Yeah, he fell.

01:49:16.000 Blew his patella tendon out, then he fell, snapped his arm in half.

01:49:20.000 It's not good.

01:49:22.000 Okay.

01:49:22.000 Have you talked to him at all?

01:49:24.000 Don't try to jump.

01:49:25.000 Just about how he was trying to dunk.

01:49:26.000 I talked to him yesterday.

01:49:28.000 He's not doing good.

01:49:30.000 He's still at this rehabilitation center.

01:49:31.000 He can't move.

01:49:33.000 But once it's all done, he said he'll actually be stronger than he was before the injury.

01:49:39.000 What is he? 0.99

01:49:39.000 Fucking a bionic man? 0.99

01:49:41.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:49:41.000 We built him back. 1.00

01:49:43.000 He's better.

01:49:44.000 I told Michael, let them pump you up with steroids. 1.00

01:49:46.000 Let's see what happens.

01:49:49.000 Let's go, Tommy Buns! 0.99

01:49:51.000 Let's go!

01:49:53.000 But there's a lot that are going to move here.

01:49:56.000 Tim Dillon.

01:49:57.000 Even Chappelle's been thinking about it.

01:49:59.000 We were talking about it.

01:50:00.000 Somebody asked him on stage the other night.

01:50:02.000 And he's like, man, I might.

01:50:04.000 Why not?

01:50:05.000 I mean, why are you going to take that taxation that you guys have out there?

01:50:08.000 It's not just the taxation.

01:50:10.000 There's a vibe here that I think is really nice.

01:50:12.000 It's very cool here.

01:50:14.000 Texas is so awesome.

01:50:15.000 Texas is great.

01:50:16.000 All of Texas is great.

01:50:17.000 People ask me all the time, because I travel a lot, they're like, Dude, where would you live?

01:50:21.000 And I'm like, Texas? 0.80

01:50:23.000 It's pretty fucking cool. 0.97

01:50:24.000 I like it. 0.99

01:50:25.000 It's pretty fucking cool. 0.57

01:50:26.000 I wanted to be here forever. 0.93

01:50:27.000 But it was hard talking anybody else in my family into it because L.A. was so nice to us until the pandemic.

01:50:34.000 And then it was easy.

01:50:36.000 I took the kids down here once and they're like, we can go into a restaurant inside?

01:50:41.000 I'm like, yeah.

01:50:42.000 You wear a mask. 1.00

01:50:43.000 They fucking temperature check you. 1.00

01:50:44.000 You're not sick. 1.00

01:50:45.000 You haven't had a sign of a thing.

01:50:47.000 Sit down.

01:50:48.000 Eat like a normal person.

01:50:49.000 They test their employees.

01:50:51.000 We can do this.

01:50:52.000 Have you spent any time in Dallas?

01:50:54.000 I love Dallas.

01:50:55.000 Dallas is rad. 0.95

01:50:56.000 I fucking love Dallas. 0.87

01:50:57.000 I love it. 0.97

01:50:57.000 I would live there. 0.97

01:50:58.000 But this was like where everybody agreed.

01:51:00.000 Yeah.

01:51:01.000 Yeah, but you can't get...

01:51:02.000 Can you get direct out of Austin to LA? I don't know.

01:51:06.000 I think you have to connect through Houston or Dallas.

01:51:09.000 I mean, the pandemic changed a lot of flights everywhere, but there's at least one on a couple different airlines.

01:51:14.000 Yeah, I see.

01:51:16.000 Out of Dallas, you can get a flight to LA or New York about every hour.

01:51:20.000 Yeah, but you could just fly to Dallas.

01:51:22.000 That's like a five-minute flight.

01:51:23.000 I know, but I don't have your kind of money.

01:51:26.000 That five-minute flight to Dallas?

01:51:30.000 You've got to look at the good in the back.

01:51:31.000 It's 40 minutes. 0.99

01:51:31.000 The good thing about it being semi-difficult is it's going to discourage pussies. 0.99

01:51:40.000 People that are afraid of a 40-minute flight. 0.98

01:51:42.000 Yeah.

01:51:42.000 You afraid of getting up a little bit earlier?

01:51:45.000 Well, see, my problem was 35 freeway between Austin and Dallas.

01:51:50.000 It's called I-35.

01:51:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:52.000 They've been working on that fucker since I was born. 1.00

01:51:55.000 Okay? 1.00

01:51:55.000 It's been under construction since I was born. 1.00

01:51:58.000 And it's just the worst road, the worst everything, speed traps everywhere.

01:52:06.000 And so I went in and flew this time. 1.00

01:52:09.000 All right, fuck it. 1.00

01:52:10.000 I'm flying. 1.00

01:52:10.000 How long is the flight? 1.00

01:52:11.000 Like 40 minutes.

01:52:13.000 How's a 40-minute flight when it's a three-hour drive?

01:52:16.000 Around that, 40, 45, whatever.

01:52:18.000 It should seem like shorter, right?

01:52:21.000 I mean, that's what it is to Vegas from L.A., you know?

01:52:24.000 Depending on how fast they can get up.

01:52:25.000 Yeah, but Vegas is like four hours if you pedal to the metal.

01:52:28.000 It's because of the hill, though.

01:52:30.000 You know, if it was flat.

01:52:31.000 But I mean, I literally live walking distance from the front door of the airport.

01:52:35.000 You know, and so...

01:52:37.000 It's good and bad to everything.

01:52:39.000 But it sucks coming down 35 or going up it. 0.91

01:52:42.000 There's always construction, always crab, and it has been for 50 freaking years. 0.93

01:52:46.000 Good. 0.88

01:52:47.000 Don't move here, people. 0.97

01:52:49.000 Yeah, don't move here.

01:52:49.000 It's a bad spot.

01:52:50.000 This is a horrible place to be.

01:52:51.000 Don't come to Texas. 0.99

01:52:52.000 The food is insane here. 1.00

01:52:54.000 If you think you know what barbecue tastes like, you don't know shit. 1.00

01:52:58.000 You need to go to Terry Black's. 1.00

01:53:00.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

01:53:02.000 Matt Pittman can throw down something a little better.

01:53:04.000 He can throw down something.

01:53:05.000 And I can.

01:53:06.000 You come out to Dallas and I'll cook for you.

01:53:09.000 I'd be happy to have you cook for me, but don't you dare disparage Terry Black's.

01:53:13.000 You stop.

01:53:14.000 I have not had Terry Black's, so I do not know.

01:53:16.000 I need to get in line with Franklin's. 0.92

01:53:18.000 I need to bite the bullet.

01:53:22.000 Because everybody says it's worth the line.

01:53:24.000 I'm like, how can you say that in a place that has the most insane barbecue ever?

01:53:28.000 Can it really be worth the line?

01:53:30.000 The line is long at that place.

01:53:32.000 Is it long right now?

01:53:34.000 It must be extra long because you've got that six foot social distancing thing. 0.89

01:53:40.000 They're up on I-35 waiting on barbecue.

01:53:43.000 Yeah, right?

01:53:44.000 It would be triple the line normally.

01:53:47.000 Normally a three to four hour line.

01:53:50.000 Can we pay people to wait in that line?

01:53:52.000 They do.

01:53:53.000 They have a whole business.

01:53:54.000 Yeah, because at Onnit, we did that.

01:53:56.000 Onnit hired someone to wait in line so we could get food.

01:54:00.000 Oh, so I got a question on that stuff because I hear you talking about it.

01:54:03.000 Does it work?

01:54:04.000 Yeah.

01:54:04.000 What do you mean?

01:54:05.000 Strength and conditioning equipment works?

01:54:07.000 The Onnit supplements?

01:54:08.000 Alpha Brain? 0.96

01:54:09.000 Alpha Brain.

01:54:09.000 That's the one.

01:54:10.000 It definitely works.

01:54:11.000 What does it do?

01:54:12.000 It improves your memory.

01:54:14.000 What?

01:54:14.000 They did two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies at the Boston Center for Memory.

01:54:19.000 And they showed increase in verbal acuity, your ability to remember words, your ability to form sentences, increase in your memory, and there's a few other things.

01:54:35.000 Oh, alpha flow state, which I don't know how they measure.

01:54:39.000 But what it does for me is...

01:54:42.000 Here's how to look at it.

01:54:44.000 You're never the same person.

01:54:47.000 If you're hungover, your brain doesn't work as well.

01:54:50.000 At least mine doesn't.

01:54:52.000 I don't know you, right?

01:54:53.000 My brain does not work that good when I'm tired.

01:54:56.000 My brain does not work that good if I worked out too hard and then I come here.

01:55:00.000 I'm not the same person every day.

01:55:02.000 And anybody who's listening to this podcast will know that. 1.00

01:55:05.000 There's days that I'm very articulate, and there's days that I sound like a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:55:09.000 And that's just the average of being a person and living a stressful life. 1.00

01:55:17.000 Alpha Brain in particular.

01:55:18.000 There's a lot of nootropics that I like.

01:55:21.000 There's a gum that I take called Neuro Gum.

01:55:24.000 There's another company that makes this thing called Neuro One.

01:55:28.000 That's Bill Romanowski, the football player's company.

01:55:31.000 I've heard of it.

01:55:32.000 It's a really good...

01:55:33.000 They're called nootropics.

01:55:35.000 And then there's another one called True Brain.

01:55:39.000 But the company that I am one of the owners of is Onnit, and we make one too.

01:55:44.000 Ours is called AlphaBrain.

01:55:46.000 And I think it's the best one that I've ever used, but opinions vary.

01:55:51.000 But I'm just saying what we know for a fact...

01:55:54.000 Because it's the only one that I know of that's had two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies that showed efficacy.

01:56:01.000 It does improve your memory.

01:56:03.000 It does improve your ability to form sentences.

01:56:06.000 But you might not notice it.

01:56:09.000 If you're a person and you don't have a very difficult job that makes you...

01:56:17.000 Think on the fly.

01:56:18.000 You might be a dude who just runs around.

01:56:23.000 But for me, it's valuable.

01:56:25.000 It's very valuable.

01:56:26.000 But it does work.

01:56:27.000 So I'm going to grab, because you've got some samples out there, I'm going to grab a bunch of those.

01:56:31.000 Whatever you want, man.

01:56:32.000 I'm going to report to my followers.

01:56:34.000 What I find out.

01:56:35.000 Another thing that's good because you just started working out is the Shroom Tech.

01:56:38.000 Shroom Tech sport.

01:56:39.000 It's a Cordyceps mushroom supplement.

01:56:42.000 So it's...

01:56:43.000 Cordyceps mushrooms were discovered...

01:56:46.000 I think they were discovered...

01:56:47.000 Or they first started using them, like, publicly.

01:56:50.000 The Chinese Olympic team.

01:56:51.000 And they started breaking all these records in track and field.

01:56:54.000 And they're breaking all these records in terms of endurance sports.

01:56:59.000 There's something of...

01:57:00.000 What did they...

01:57:02.000 There was something about cordyceps mushrooms. 1.00

01:57:04.000 I'm kind of talking out of my ass. 0.98

01:57:05.000 I'm trying to remember the benefits that they found from it. 0.99

01:57:11.000 And then other athletes started finding out about it.

01:57:14.000 But it increases your ability to absorb oxygen and increases your endurance.

01:57:20.000 Yeah, you've talked about that breathing thing, too. 0.99

01:57:22.000 I don't know what the fuck that is. 0.98

01:57:24.000 Breathing thing. 0.99

01:57:25.000 You take the breaths.

01:57:28.000 I don't know.

01:57:29.000 I saw something.

01:57:30.000 But anyways...

01:57:31.000 There it goes.

01:57:32.000 It may boost exercise performance.

01:57:34.000 Cordyceps are thought to increase the body's production of the molecule adenosine triphosate, which is essential for delivering energy to the muscles. 0.99

01:57:47.000 It's the shit. 0.99

01:57:48.000 It really does work. 0.99

01:57:49.000 It may improve the way your body uses oxygen, especially during exercise.

01:57:54.000 Okay, and not to get on a commercial and stuff that you kick and love, but...

01:58:00.000 CDB... CBD. And energy drink.

01:58:05.000 Yeah.

01:58:06.000 You just did that thing.

01:58:08.000 And I have an energy drink.

01:58:09.000 So, how does that work?

01:58:12.000 Because I thought it's supposed to calm you down, and then you're supposed to get up.

01:58:16.000 It's like an oxymoron.

01:58:18.000 What's in the CBD energy drinks from Kill Cliff?

01:58:22.000 Kill Cliff, yeah.

01:58:23.000 The show we're on.

01:58:25.000 25 milligrams of CBD, which is definitely good for you.

01:58:28.000 And there's a lot of electrolytes that are really good for you.

01:58:31.000 But I don't think the energy comes from a lot of caffeine.

01:58:34.000 I think it's more B vitamins and stuff like that, which is good for you.

01:58:37.000 That's my drink too. 0.99

01:58:38.000 Look, CBD, however you can get it, whether it's from tinctures, drops, or I like gummies, that shit is just great for you. 0.98

01:58:48.000 The big problem, there's a lot of problems people have, but one of the big ones is inflammation. 0.96

01:58:53.000 Anything you can do to reduce inflammation in your life is good.

01:58:58.000 Whether it's through diet change or through CBD construction.

01:59:04.000 Here it goes.

01:59:06.000 Okay.

01:59:07.000 There it goes.

01:59:08.000 The endocannabinoid system.

01:59:12.000 Phytocannabinoids or plant cannabinoids bind with cannabinoid receptors and send a message to the body to do certain things like help regulate motor control, immune function, reproduction, sleep, appetite, mood, pleasure, pain, fertility, memory,

01:59:28.000 and temperature.

01:59:30.000 If you want and you have the time, you can get into it and try to figure out what the fuck benefit you would get from CBD. But for me, it's a no-brainer. 0.64

01:59:41.000 It's 100% beneficial to me in terms of soreness, sore joints and weird shit that happens to my body from just beating it up.

01:59:49.000 And also anxiety and relaxation.

01:59:53.000 I love taking it before I go to bed.

01:59:56.000 I use CBD, MD, the oil.

01:59:58.000 I just take a bunch of it before I go to bed.

02:00:00.000 It just chills me the fuck out.

02:00:02.000 See, I've got to learn about all this stuff.

02:00:04.000 I'm like an old soul.

02:00:08.000 I just drink until I go to sleep.

02:00:10.000 There's nothing wrong with that either, if you want to do it that way.

02:00:13.000 How long are we going to be here, bro?

02:00:15.000 You and I, we're already past the mark.

02:00:18.000 Where are we at?

02:00:19.000 We're in the 50s.

02:00:20.000 When we were kids, 50-year-olds were dead.

02:00:24.000 Well, it's like marriage.

02:00:26.000 Till Death Do Us Part was invented when they were about 30. It was death. 0.58

02:00:32.000 Yeah.

02:00:32.000 People didn't have a good age expectancy.

02:00:36.000 Yeah.

02:00:37.000 It was a rough time to be a person back then.

02:00:39.000 No CBD. No Kill Cliffs.

02:00:43.000 It's hard to get...

02:00:43.000 You had to grow your own weed.

02:00:47.000 I'm sure they all knew how.

02:00:49.000 Maybe.

02:00:50.000 They're probably just too busy working to the death with no vitamins.

02:00:55.000 Whoever figured out vitamins, how to take them, that guy changed everything.

02:00:59.000 You know?

02:01:00.000 But didn't you just get your vitamins from the farm field?

02:01:03.000 But did you really?

02:01:04.000 I don't know.

02:01:04.000 Maybe that's why people died at 30. They're eating fucking shitty corn and wheat, just no vitamins, just passing out.

02:01:14.000 Falling over, hitting their head on rocks. 1.00

02:01:15.000 I just recently got a gym so I don't understand all this workout stuff.

02:01:20.000 You picked a weird time to start.

02:01:22.000 I do not understand it all.

02:01:23.000 But you got a trainer.

02:01:25.000 That's the good move.

02:01:26.000 Yeah, I got a good trainer.

02:01:27.000 He comes in.

02:01:28.000 He's all happy and stuff. 1.00

02:01:29.000 And I'm like, fuck you, dude. 1.00

02:01:31.000 I don't even want to do this. 1.00

02:01:32.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:01:32.000 I've rubbed my elbow raw on your fucking table. 1.00

02:01:36.000 I have crazy calluses on my table. 1.00

02:01:38.000 On my elbow, rather, from this table.

02:01:41.000 From all the years.

02:01:42.000 Is that a thing?

02:01:44.000 Elbow callus?

02:01:45.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:01:46.000 You get those.

02:01:46.000 You do a lot of podcasts.

02:01:48.000 So when you're doing your podcast, is the podcast going to be similar to what you're talking about for a television show, like food, travel, the whole deer, or are you going to just talk about life?

02:01:59.000 I think it's going to be a little bit of everything, but I'm also going to take people out of the room, so to speak, and be able to talk about, okay, I did this on Tuesday.

02:02:07.000 Oh, and you're going to go on the road with recordings that you already have.

02:02:10.000 And this is what happened.

02:02:12.000 Video and audio?

02:02:14.000 Yeah.

02:02:15.000 That's the move.

02:02:16.000 Yeah, I think that's the move.

02:02:17.000 You should go into business with me.

02:02:19.000 I'll help you.

02:02:22.000 I'll just tell people where to go.

02:02:24.000 I've got a follower, too.

02:02:25.000 Yeah.

02:02:27.000 Maybe.

02:02:28.000 Maybe not after this.

02:02:29.000 Come on.

02:02:31.000 What have you done wrong?

02:02:33.000 I haven't done anything wrong.

02:02:35.000 Not a thing wrong.

02:02:35.000 Right?

02:02:36.000 Not a part of this show that I'm nervous about.

02:02:39.000 I don't even think I'm getting pinged on the $25,000 per occurrence with my contract with Discovery yet.

02:02:46.000 So if they were the best boss in the world, and they treated me like gold because I was their star, then why would they put it in the contract that I couldn't talk about them unless it was favorably or it would cost $25,000? 0.99

02:02:59.000 You couldn't talk shit, yeah. 0.99

02:03:00.000 Maybe it's worth it. 0.99

02:03:01.000 Maybe it's worth it sometimes to give up.

02:03:03.000 Oh, I've thought about it.

02:03:05.000 I've thought about it. 1.00

02:03:06.000 Don't want to fuck off. 1.00

02:03:07.000 I know. 1.00

02:03:07.000 Your stupid social media ideas. 1.00

02:03:09.000 You're tempting me so badly. 1.00

02:03:11.000 People with children.

02:03:13.000 Think about throwing down $25,000 right now, right here, and just being like, But I'm not sure where it stops.

02:03:19.000 Do you get one statement or two statements?

02:03:20.000 It's not necessary.

02:03:22.000 It's not necessary.

02:03:23.000 You had a deal.

02:03:24.000 You made a deal.

02:03:25.000 You gotta be a man.

02:03:26.000 That's right. 1.00

02:03:27.000 The deal was don't talk shit. 1.00

02:03:30.000 So don't talk shit. 1.00

02:03:32.000 But that is a weird thing. 0.99

02:03:33.000 I don't think that that's a deal that you would take, sir.

02:03:36.000 No, I wouldn't take it.

02:03:37.000 I wouldn't do it. 0.99

02:03:38.000 There's no fucking way. 0.99

02:03:40.000 I'd be like, I don't know what to do then. 1.00

02:03:42.000 If I can't talk shit, what am I going to do? 0.99

02:03:44.000 Wait a second. 1.00

02:03:44.000 So I get away from you, but I can't talk shit? 1.00

02:03:46.000 No. 0.99

02:03:48.000 I think I probably have something in the Spotify contract if I went and looked at it.

02:03:53.000 Probably not supposed to be mean. 0.98

02:03:55.000 Dude, it's probably 25 fucking pages. 0.99

02:03:57.000 250 pages long. 0.99

02:03:59.000 How big is it?

02:04:00.000 I don't know.

02:04:01.000 What should I tell you?

02:04:02.000 I'll tell you the funny thing about contracts.

02:04:04.000 I just saw the first one the other day when me and my lovely wife got married about a year ago.

02:04:08.000 I come in and I'm like, honey, you know...

02:04:13.000 I'm the guy on TV, so I hate it, but we have to deal with the financial aspects of, you know, getting married.

02:04:22.000 So I hand her, you know, like maybe 50 pages, contract, prenup, that kind of thing.

02:04:28.000 And of course, she was married to a billionaire.

02:04:32.000 And she goes, oh, I'm glad you brought that up. 1.00

02:04:36.000 Puts down the fucking phone book. 1.00

02:04:38.000 Of her own? 1.00

02:04:39.000 It's like four inches tall.

02:04:42.000 Couldn't it be like two pages? 1.00

02:04:44.000 Like, I don't want your shit. 1.00

02:04:45.000 You don't want my shit. 1.00

02:04:47.000 Let's just be together. 1.00

02:04:49.000 Ah, we wanted that, but, you know, the lawyers dictate other things. 1.00

02:04:53.000 Fucking lawyers. 1.00

02:04:54.000 But you need them sometimes. 1.00

02:04:56.000 Nah, but she's the best thing. 0.99

02:04:57.000 Otherwise you would be fucked with this restaurant. 0.98

02:04:59.000 Ah, she's the best thing in my life, and the restaurant's the worst thing in my life, so I'm doing good. 0.98

02:05:04.000 So lawyers are important.

02:05:05.000 Yes, they are.

02:05:08.000 It's a weird thing when people get involved with businesses.

02:05:12.000 You know?

02:05:13.000 Money.

02:05:14.000 I could get more if I have someone who negotiates better for me. 0.92

02:05:20.000 Yeah, but I found out that, you know, I don't know if you have an agent or a manager and all that shit. 1.00

02:05:25.000 I found out they all suck. 1.00

02:05:27.000 No, they don't all suck. 1.00

02:05:29.000 They don't really work. 0.97

02:05:32.000 You're in a different business than me, so it's different.

02:05:36.000 I'm in the comedy business, and then the podcast thing sort of came along along the way.

02:05:42.000 But managers are very important in comedy, and they're very important even in podcasts.

02:05:50.000 You need someone who's going to coordinate with an agent that sells ads.

02:05:56.000 And someone who does the business aspects of it. 1.00

02:05:59.000 Or you're fucked. 0.99

02:06:00.000 Then you're going to be thinking about that on your own. 1.00

02:06:02.000 And you only have, you know, we talked about the slice of the pie.

02:06:05.000 You only have so much brain space.

02:06:07.000 You can't be filling that brain space up with how much money should me undies give me.

02:06:11.000 You know, you don't have time for that.

02:06:13.000 So you need someone.

02:06:15.000 If you want to do your best work, this is my opinion, you can think about optimizing the amount of profit you do, but the problem with that is oftentimes when you do that, you do that at an expense.

02:06:26.000 The expense is the quality of the work you do, because you're thinking about money instead of thinking about being you, and being free, and then concentrating on doing the best job you can as an entertainer.

02:06:37.000 I agree, but what about the fact that when you reach a certain level...

02:06:40.000 Like you and I have, where people come to you and they're like, hey, I'm the CEO of blah, or I'm the CEO of this.

02:06:48.000 Here's my thought process.

02:06:49.000 And I want to do some business with you.

02:06:51.000 And then you have to turn it over and give up 10, 20% between the two.

02:06:58.000 I see where you're coming from, but here's my perspective.

02:07:00.000 The only reason why I am in the position that I'm in now is because I have these relationships, and they helped me get to where I am, and we're in it for the long haul.

02:07:10.000 And I'm not going to notice 10%.

02:07:13.000 I'm not going to think about that.

02:07:15.000 What I notice is the bad vibes of not having the same agent, or the bad vibes of...

02:07:21.000 I've had the same manager since I was an open mic comedian.

02:07:24.000 I will never get rid of my manager.

02:07:27.000 But this is beneficial for everybody.

02:07:31.000 It's beneficial for them and it's beneficial for...

02:07:32.000 So companies are coming to me, but why am I me?

02:07:36.000 I'm me because I worked with them and they helped me become me.

02:07:40.000 And one of the ways they helped me become me is by alleviating concerns about money and about business.

02:07:46.000 I don't have to think about that.

02:07:48.000 I don't like to think about that.

02:07:49.000 I'm busy. 1.00

02:07:50.000 I like to think about important shit, like muscle cars and talking shit. 1.00

02:07:55.000 Those are important things for me. 0.99

02:07:57.000 So I don't want to think about percentages and fucking long haul stuff. 0.83

02:08:03.000 I'd rather other people think about that. 0.97

02:08:05.000 People who have a vested interest.

02:08:08.000 They're invested in that success.

02:08:10.000 So you're a team.

02:08:12.000 But do those people bring you deals?

02:08:15.000 Some of them bring me deals, but the point is, if it wasn't for them coordinating and facilitating, it wouldn't happen.

02:08:24.000 I'm not going to do that.

02:08:25.000 I'm not that guy.

02:08:26.000 I'm not going to be a guy who goes out and chases down deals.

02:08:29.000 Even if someone comes to me, I'm not going to know how to negotiate or how to do it right.

02:08:34.000 I will wind up getting far less money than the 10% I give them.

02:08:40.000 I get it.

02:08:41.000 Yeah.

02:08:42.000 You just have to think about it in terms of, instead of thinking about, oh, I've got to get what I can, think about it in terms of, like, it's feast or famine.

02:08:51.000 I'm a feast person.

02:08:53.000 I want a buffet. 1.00

02:08:55.000 I want a fucking banquet. 1.00

02:08:57.000 I want everybody to come and sit down. 1.00

02:08:58.000 I don't want to think about famine.

02:09:00.000 I don't want to think, well, I need more, save more, and if I got rid of them, I would have more.

02:09:06.000 It's not about that.

02:09:08.000 It's about what do they earn?

02:09:10.000 What do they bring?

02:09:10.000 They're your agent.

02:09:12.000 What do they bring?

02:09:13.000 It's not what do they bring.

02:09:15.000 They negotiate the thing.

02:09:16.000 They provide a service.

02:09:18.000 They put it together.

02:09:19.000 I did not.

02:09:20.000 I did not have that experience.

02:09:22.000 You have different relationships than me.

02:09:24.000 Most of my life coming up through what I came up through in the last 18 years was I'd see somebody, meet somebody, even yourself.

02:09:33.000 Hey, I want to be on Joe Rogan.

02:09:34.000 You know, blah, blah, blah.

02:09:35.000 Joe Rogan wants me on.

02:09:37.000 And then I have to give that to them.

02:09:39.000 And they took credit for it.

02:09:43.000 But they didn't do anything.

02:09:44.000 I made that relationship.

02:09:46.000 You have a different thing going on then.

02:09:49.000 For comedians, I always recommend find someone that you can trust.

02:09:55.000 And then let them know early on.

02:09:58.000 We're in this for the long haul.

02:10:00.000 I'm not interested in jumping around with different managers.

02:10:04.000 I never changed.

02:10:05.000 I only kept the same all the way through until it was done.

02:10:09.000 But the problem was other people were coming to you with things, and they weren't bringing you these things, but they were getting the percentage.

02:10:16.000 Yeah.

02:10:17.000 In close to 10 years, I had my team bring me one deal out of 50. Well, that's not good.

02:10:28.000 No, it wasn't good. 0.93

02:10:29.000 And they're pissed the fuck off right now that I'm saying that out loud. 0.93

02:10:33.000 And I don't care. 0.75

02:10:35.000 Because those deals came through me, and I turned it over to them.

02:10:40.000 And that was it.

02:10:43.000 Well, I think managers are a lot like TV dance show hosts.

02:10:50.000 Some of them are really good.

02:10:52.000 Some of them are...

02:10:55.000 Some of them are not so good.

02:10:57.000 It's like everything else, man. 0.98

02:10:58.000 There's going to be people that are amazing at it, and there's going to be people that suck. 0.97

02:11:02.000 And I have the exact opposite experience as you.

02:11:06.000 I get like one or two every now and then come to me, but most of the offers that I get come through my management.

02:11:13.000 Never for me.

02:11:13.000 But they can't reach me either.

02:11:15.000 That's the other thing.

02:11:16.000 I'm not available to other people.

02:11:18.000 If someone comes to me with an idea for a business, I'm like, I don't talk to people.

02:11:22.000 I got your cell phone.

02:11:22.000 I'm putting it on screen right now.

02:11:24.000 You're my friend.

02:11:24.000 Come on, man.

02:11:26.000 What I'm saying is business-wise, I think that there's a loyalty to a partnership.

02:11:33.000 But again, this is the comedian-management relationship.

02:11:38.000 Comedian-agent relationship.

02:11:39.000 It's a different relationship because I do a lot of live gigs.

02:11:43.000 I need someone to arrange everything.

02:11:45.000 That's probably a little different.

02:11:46.000 It's way different.

02:11:47.000 It's way different.

02:11:48.000 You're a TV personality.

02:11:50.000 And it's a different gig because then you're on television so people come to you and you're like, what are these management people doing for me?

02:11:58.000 They're just taking a piece of money I would already get.

02:12:01.000 I'm not upset about the money.

02:12:03.000 I would gladly pay it.

02:12:04.000 I'd probably pay double the amount if they brought me something.

02:12:08.000 Right.

02:12:09.000 They didn't bring me anything.

02:12:11.000 I see what you're saying.

02:12:11.000 I mean, I don't care about the feet.

02:12:13.000 It's a complicated world, bro.

02:12:15.000 Yeah.

02:12:16.000 I don't know your business.

02:12:17.000 Look at him getting all nervous now.

02:12:19.000 We're talking about agents.

02:12:20.000 I'm not nervous at all.

02:12:22.000 Dude, I've had the same agent forever.

02:12:24.000 I've had the same agent for 14 years, and I've had the same manager for 30, no, 29 years. 0.76

02:12:35.000 Kick-ass.

02:12:37.000 I'm just talking from my feelings about those kind of relationships.

02:12:44.000 Like, a lot of times people start thinking, you know, I deserve more, I'm bringing more.

02:12:49.000 I'm not who I am because of me entirely.

02:12:52.000 I'm who I am because of the relationships that I have with all these other people that have allowed me to be me.

02:12:58.000 Because I don't have to think.

02:12:59.000 I agree 100%.

02:13:00.000 I'm just saying that If something comes by way, then why do you pay if it came through you? 0.99

02:13:11.000 Well, because you don't want to do the fucking negotiation, man. 0.99

02:13:14.000 You let those other people handle it. 0.99

02:13:16.000 That's the whole idea.

02:13:17.000 Just because it comes to you, just because an opportunity comes to you from someone else, you don't want...

02:13:23.000 Those people that are with you, agents and managers...

02:13:27.000 You want them to work out the details.

02:13:29.000 And you should be happy.

02:13:30.000 Hey, this guy, he says he wants to do something.

02:13:32.000 Can he talk to you?

02:13:33.000 And then, boom, they talk to that person.

02:13:36.000 And you don't have to think.

02:13:37.000 If you had to think, the 10% that you would save by thinking about it, that money, that's real.

02:13:46.000 I don't even care about the 10%. 1.00

02:13:47.000 I just want somebody to actually work for me.

02:13:51.000 We have a different situation.

02:13:52.000 We're talking about two different things.

02:13:53.000 See, I'm defending my own personal situation, which is like very...

02:13:57.000 And I'm poo-pooing mine.

02:13:58.000 Yeah.

02:13:59.000 Mine is like, my people are family.

02:14:01.000 So it's like, I have to defend them.

02:14:03.000 It's a different thing.

02:14:05.000 I get it.

02:14:05.000 They're family.

02:14:06.000 Not a problem.

02:14:07.000 Like, legitimately.

02:14:07.000 They've been with me forever.

02:14:09.000 But I get it.

02:14:11.000 Look, the agent and manager situation with an artist is one of the most tumultuous, controversial relationships in all show business.

02:14:21.000 So, I was with CAA for many years.

02:14:24.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:14:25.000 Okay, yeah. 1.00

02:14:26.000 Fuck yeah, CAA. I don't know what that stands for, but I can think of something. 0.99

02:14:31.000 But these fuckers did not even tell me that my agent no longer worked there. 0.99

02:14:38.000 I just quit getting any conversation. 1.00

02:14:42.000 For how long?

02:14:43.000 A year.

02:14:46.000 So your agent that you had a relationship with...

02:14:48.000 Now he told me.

02:14:49.000 He goes, hey, I've been exited.

02:14:51.000 When did he tell you?

02:14:53.000 The day of.

02:14:54.000 And they didn't tell you for a whole year? 1.00

02:14:56.000 Never said a fucking word. 1.00

02:14:58.000 Never sent an email. 1.00

02:14:59.000 But did they think that he told you?

02:15:01.000 No.

02:15:02.000 To this day, they've never sent me an email.

02:15:04.000 They've never told me anything.

02:15:06.000 And you're still with them?

02:15:06.000 No, God, no.

02:15:08.000 I canceled my thing.

02:15:09.000 But they've never, ever done anything.

02:15:12.000 I mean, we're talking about the creative...

02:15:16.000 Artist agency.

02:15:17.000 Artist agency, yes. 0.93

02:15:19.000 So, they never even told me that he was gone, never told me shit, and never gave me any replacement. 0.88

02:15:24.000 Here's my thought on that. 0.94

02:15:26.000 I think that a lot of these places, like whether it's CAA or any big place, they have so many artists and so many deals and so many agents.

02:15:38.000 They just can't keep track.

02:15:40.000 They can't.

02:15:43.000 Do you have a manager?

02:15:44.000 I did.

02:15:45.000 He was a great guy.

02:15:46.000 His name is Antrinig.

02:15:47.000 My manager was awesome.

02:15:48.000 And my agent at CAA was great, Han Ship. 0.99

02:15:52.000 But CAA failed.

02:15:54.000 I mean, in a big way.

02:15:56.000 Here's how the relationship works with comedians.

02:16:00.000 You have a manager, and the manager talks to the agent.

02:16:03.000 The manager, hopefully, is with you forever.

02:16:06.000 That's my case.

02:16:07.000 And the agent...

02:16:08.000 I have a long relationship with my agent, but...

02:16:12.000 Agents are negotiable.

02:16:14.000 They move around.

02:16:15.000 They quit.

02:16:16.000 They leave.

02:16:16.000 They don't have a full-time relationship with you.

02:16:19.000 You have a relationship with the agency, but the relationship you have with the management company is permanent, essentially.

02:16:25.000 Correct.

02:16:26.000 Yeah.

02:16:26.000 So it's a different deal.

02:16:29.000 But a lot of these places, whether it's figure out the name, whatever name you want, what they're doing is they're trying to accumulate as much talent as possible.

02:16:38.000 They want hundreds and hundreds of clients.

02:16:41.000 And then some of them work out and some of them don't.

02:16:45.000 Correct. 0.99

02:16:46.000 They just throw enough shit against the wall for the lack of a better metaphor. 0.99

02:16:51.000 And they hope the best stuff sticks. 1.00

02:16:53.000 And luckily, we are shiny shit. 1.00

02:16:55.000 We're shiny shit. 1.00

02:16:56.000 We're sticky shit. 1.00

02:16:58.000 We're sticky shit. 1.00

02:17:00.000 That's what we are. 1.00

02:17:03.000 But it's a fucking weird business for them, too. 0.97

02:17:06.000 I can't imagine being in a business where I relied on someone like me. 0.97

02:17:12.000 Yeah.

02:17:32.000 Working with me.

02:17:33.000 I couldn't imagine.

02:17:33.000 I mean, you're relying on me to pay your mortgage.

02:17:37.000 You're relying on me to be successful so that you can...

02:17:40.000 I don't want that job.

02:17:42.000 I don't want to rely...

02:17:43.000 Yeah, never.

02:17:44.000 Guys like you and I, we don't want to rely on other people.

02:17:47.000 But some people are really good at it.

02:17:49.000 I don't even want to rely on myself sometimes. 1.00

02:17:52.000 I'm like, fuck it. 0.99

02:17:53.000 That's the one thing I have. 1.00

02:17:55.000 I rely on me.

02:17:58.000 Alright.

02:17:59.000 So, where are we going from here?

02:18:02.000 Where are we going from here?

02:18:03.000 We just complained about show business during the pandemic.

02:18:06.000 Always a dangerous move. 1.00

02:18:08.000 Because most people are like, I just want to open up my fucking restaurant, you piece of shit. 1.00

02:18:13.000 Gym owners, man. 1.00

02:18:15.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:18:16.000 Those people are getting screwed over because the one place that people should be going to right now when there's a health crisis is a fucking gym and they're being shut down. 1.00

02:18:27.000 There's ways to get away from that and they're not letting them. 0.99

02:18:31.000 Just fucking such a weird time.

02:18:34.000 Just such a weird time to the point where it doesn't seem real. 0.98

02:18:38.000 Like, you wake up in the morning and, you know, you brush your teeth, you go, what is going on today?

02:18:42.000 What's going on in the world?

02:18:43.000 Oh, yeah.

02:18:44.000 Absolutely nothing.

02:18:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:18:46.000 What's happening here?

02:18:47.000 New Jersey gym, famed for defined COVID-19 lockdown, orders, fines, more than 1.2 million?

02:19:04.000 They're at $1.2 million.

02:19:06.000 How is that possible?

02:19:08.000 How much are the fines?

02:19:09.000 Well, they said $1.2 million in fines.

02:19:11.000 The gym has more than 60 citations, totally more than $1.2 million, despite not having a single infection linked to the business after more than 83,000 visits. 0.99

02:19:22.000 Holy shit. 0.98

02:19:24.000 Yeah, they're not going to have that problem with me because I don't go to the gym. 1.00

02:19:27.000 I've seen that guy.

02:19:28.000 That's the guy in New Jersey. 1.00

02:19:30.000 And what's going on with him is, he keeps saying, like, right there, fuck you, Murphy. 1.00

02:19:35.000 What did he say? 1.00

02:19:36.000 The governor, Governor Murphy.

02:19:39.000 Okay, so it's $15,497.76 per day.

02:19:44.000 For a day?

02:19:45.000 Yeah, well, that's real logical.

02:19:46.000 Well, you should pay for a day.

02:19:48.000 I'll pay for one day.

02:19:50.000 If you'll pay for a day, I'll pay for a day.

02:19:52.000 Okay, we're in. 0.95

02:19:53.000 I'm not fucking kidding. 0.97

02:19:54.000 I'm not kidding either. 0.97

02:19:55.000 All right, done.

02:19:55.000 All right, we got it.

02:19:56.000 Good.

02:19:56.000 I'll pay for one day.

02:19:57.000 $15,400 to that motherfucker. 1.00

02:19:59.000 Sold. 1.00

02:20:00.000 Boom.

02:20:00.000 Yeah.

02:20:01.000 We're paying for a day.

02:20:02.000 I feel like he's...

02:20:04.000 Put that on the post.

02:20:06.000 Yeah.

02:20:06.000 Me and Joe are paying for a day.

02:20:07.000 We put it on the internet.

02:20:09.000 It's better than a post.

02:20:10.000 I'm not kidding.

02:20:11.000 No, I'm not either.

02:20:12.000 I think that's a good thing to do.

02:20:14.000 And I think if we can get as many people who can chip in to chip in and pay this guy's fees.

02:20:19.000 Does he have a GoFundMe, Jamie?

02:20:22.000 He must.

02:20:24.000 Or he's so gangster he doesn't want one.

02:20:28.000 I freaking want a GoFundMe.

02:20:31.000 I ain't really bad.

02:20:32.000 I've got so many crazy ideas in my head.

02:20:35.000 They're like, what is this GoFundMe for?

02:20:38.000 What is this guy, does he have a GoFundMe?

02:20:41.000 Oh.

02:20:42.000 That seems weird.

02:20:43.000 There's a we stand with their gym, but I don't think it's operated by them, so I don't know.

02:20:48.000 What do you mean?

02:20:48.000 Someone else is profiting?

02:20:50.000 Someone just started it.

02:20:50.000 Yeah, you can start one for anybody.

02:20:51.000 If you could figure out where the money needs to go, I'm in and he's in.

02:20:55.000 Yeah, we're in.

02:20:56.000 I might have found one.

02:20:57.000 Hold on.

02:20:57.000 We're in.

02:20:58.000 It seems like a good thing to be in on.

02:21:00.000 I found one.

02:21:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:21:01.000 You did find one.

02:21:02.000 Let's put it up so people can see it. 0.99

02:21:05.000 Holy shit, he doesn't need our money! 0.96

02:21:09.000 It's up to $352,000. 0.99

02:21:11.000 He needs our money.

02:21:13.000 He's got a $100,000 goal, but that's before he realized that he was up to $1.2 million.

02:21:19.000 Alright.

02:21:20.000 That's so crazy.

02:21:21.000 So what is it?

02:21:24.000 GoFundMe...

02:21:27.000 It's spelled weird.

02:21:30.000 It's spelled A-T-I-L-I-S. B-E-L-M-A-W-R. I guess that's his name. 0.58

02:21:42.000 Court Relief.

02:21:43.000 And it's up to $350,000 out of $1.2 million.

02:21:48.000 Well, now it's up to $380,000.

02:21:50.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

02:21:52.000 You and I just jumped in.

02:21:55.000 Other people should jump in too. 0.78

02:21:56.000 It's like, gyms are ridiculous to close down. 1.00

02:21:59.000 People are trying to get healthy, you fuck. 1.00

02:22:02.000 And you look at the, there's a pie chart they've showed of traceable COVID infections. 1.00

02:22:09.000 And the restaurant thing is so infuriating to restaurant owners because it's only 3%.

02:22:13.000 3% out of 100, 3 are at these restaurants, but yet more people are getting infected at grocery stores, more people are getting infected at hotels, all these different places that are open and essential.

02:22:30.000 It happens.

02:22:35.000 Okay.

02:22:35.000 So, hey, they gotta go take a pee.

02:22:37.000 Go pee.

02:22:38.000 I knew it.

02:22:39.000 I saw the face of Tony Hinchcliffe the other day.

02:22:41.000 It was the same face.

02:22:42.000 The I have to pee face.

02:22:44.000 Go pee.

02:22:45.000 We'll be here when you come back.

02:22:48.000 Richard Rawlings, ladies and gentlemen.

02:22:51.000 He's stretching.

02:22:52.000 No, I was actually pushing my man pants down.

02:22:55.000 We'll be right back.

02:22:57.000 He needs to get himself some...

02:22:58.000 Whoa, why is there two doors here?

02:23:00.000 Yeah, we double door it.

02:23:01.000 He needs to get himself some RevTown jeans. 1.00

02:23:04.000 Motherfucker's got some bullshit jeans. 1.00

02:23:07.000 Oh, it's locked? 1.00

02:23:08.000 He couldn't get back in.

02:23:09.000 It'll be a while.

02:23:10.000 Hilarious.

02:23:11.000 How many years can you drink like that and just be fine?

02:23:15.000 Not all of that.

02:23:16.000 I don't know.

02:23:17.000 Sorry, five beers deep.

02:23:19.000 That's enough for me for the day.

02:23:22.000 For the day?

02:23:23.000 That's enough for a couple of days.

02:23:26.000 That's called pre-gaming.

02:23:28.000 Well, it's also light.

02:23:30.000 These light beers, they don't seem to have the same kind of kick.

02:23:35.000 I had not discovered the trend until earlier this year.

02:23:38.000 The White Claw, the Stelzer.

02:23:41.000 Oh, you're banging a lot of chicks? 1.00

02:23:43.000 It was guys that were giving it to me. 1.00

02:23:45.000 I actually went to a football game and I was like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

02:23:48.000 It's like water. 0.99

02:23:53.000 White Claws.

02:23:54.000 White Claws.

02:23:55.000 You haven't had one, though, apparently.

02:23:55.000 Listen, look at me.

02:23:56.000 I got hair on my chest.

02:23:57.000 You see that?

02:23:58.000 Alright, alright.

02:23:58.000 Oh, man.

02:23:59.000 I don't drink White Claw.

02:24:00.000 Okay.

02:24:02.000 Meanwhile, I'm a big fan of Zima.

02:24:04.000 I used to like Zimas. 1.00

02:24:06.000 People give me so much of a hard time from Zima. 1.00

02:24:08.000 I'll bring back Zimas. 1.00

02:24:09.000 What happened to Zimas? 1.00

02:24:11.000 I don't know.

02:24:11.000 I mean, I was about to look, but...

02:24:12.000 It was like an alcoholic Sprite.

02:24:13.000 That's what this is.

02:24:15.000 I mean...

02:24:15.000 Oh, White Claw's the same?

02:24:16.000 Yeah, it's like this...

02:24:17.000 I think the guy who started Mike Hard Lemonade, he's a very successful businessman.

02:24:22.000 Oh, there you go.

02:24:23.000 They just needed marketing.

02:24:24.000 You need Claw. 0.99

02:24:26.000 Zima's been gone since 2008 with a re-release two years ago somehow. 0.97

02:24:32.000 I was at the Improv in Hollywood and John Henson gave me so much shit for drinking a Zima. 0.96

02:24:36.000 I was like, they taste good. 0.99

02:24:37.000 Oh, Smirnoff Ice is what is that now?

02:24:40.000 Did you ever have one of those?

02:24:41.000 No, same thing.

02:24:41.000 That became a whole thing.

02:24:42.000 You get iced. 1.00

02:24:43.000 If I gave you one right now, you'd have to chug the whole thing or your pussy. 1.00

02:24:49.000 Well, whatever Terry Virts gave us, this Lafrig... 1.00

02:24:54.000 I don't even know how to say that.

02:24:55.000 I don't know.

02:24:56.000 It's Lafrig or Lafrig?

02:24:58.000 Lafrig? 0.96

02:24:58.000 This stuff's legit. 0.96

02:25:00.000 When I was serving at a restaurant, that'd be one of the ones I would go to for some business guys.

02:25:04.000 It's stiff.

02:25:06.000 It's stiff. 0.99

02:25:07.000 It's got this weird peaty sort of boggy fucking swamp taste. 0.98

02:25:15.000 That's how it's tasted for 75 years. 0.99

02:25:16.000 Yeah, a lot of people love that.

02:25:18.000 You know who's got the best sort of peaty bog thing going on?

02:25:23.000 Oh, it's not even that.

02:25:24.000 It's really like a smoky. 1.00

02:25:25.000 It's that Josh Barnett shit. 1.00

02:25:28.000 Warmaster? 0.99

02:25:30.000 It's interesting how people like different styles of whiskey.

02:25:35.000 There's people that are whiskey taste testers the same way a sommelier is a wine tester.

02:25:42.000 I don't want to know.

02:25:45.000 Those are things that I don't want to know.

02:25:47.000 I don't want to have that knowledge.

02:25:49.000 Richard Rawlings, back, drain the dragon, back in action.

02:25:54.000 Woo! 1.00

02:25:55.000 More like a silly little rat at my age. 1.00

02:25:57.000 Drain the silly little rat. 1.00

02:25:59.000 When we get that spot with weed, that'll be a great day. 0.99

02:26:01.000 Yeah!

02:26:02.000 Where you can have a weed sommelier, give you a nice little taste test.

02:26:05.000 I just like getting high. 0.99

02:26:06.000 I think people get a little too fucking wrapped up. 0.97

02:26:07.000 Do they have weed sommeliers? 0.99

02:26:09.000 That's because you get too high, but if you could just take one little taste of a little blueberry or something or another.

02:26:14.000 Can I have this?

02:26:15.000 Is that any good?

02:26:16.000 Take some of that.

02:26:17.000 I don't know.

02:26:18.000 I'm scared, man.

02:26:19.000 Don't be scared.

02:26:20.000 Don't be scared.

02:26:21.000 We're in Texas.

02:26:22.000 You'll be fine.

02:26:23.000 You're protected.

02:26:24.000 There could be a good way.

02:26:25.000 Yes.

02:26:25.000 A little taste.

02:26:27.000 I don't care what it tastes like. 0.99

02:26:29.000 I'm just trying to get fucking blasted. 0.99

02:26:31.000 But with those... 0.99

02:26:31.000 They're going too far with the terpene. 0.99

02:26:33.000 I mean that.

02:26:33.000 So like if the mad scientist gets some terpene stuff, that can make, you know, like a steak taste better.

02:26:38.000 Well, you know, there was an article that came out today in the news feed that was showing that there's something in the flavors of vaping is what's fucking people up.

02:26:49.000 That it's not just vaping tobacco smell.

02:26:52.000 It's actually the flavors.

02:26:54.000 See if you can find that.

02:26:56.000 Wait a second. 0.99

02:26:59.000 But I thought the vaping thing introduces too much liquid to your lung or some shit. 0.97

02:27:04.000 I think the issue, there's a multi-fold issue. 0.95

02:27:08.000 There's a quality issue.

02:27:10.000 Flavors added to vaping devices can damage the heart.

02:27:13.000 Yes, that's what I saw today.

02:27:16.000 The appealing array of fruit and candy flavors that entice millions of young people to take up vaping can harm their hearts.

02:27:23.000 A preclinical study by the University of South Florida.

02:27:26.000 Alright, it's already out the window. 0.99

02:27:27.000 It's fucking Florida University. 0.99

02:27:28.000 They're going down there to do coke and drink tequila. 1.00

02:27:31.000 You say that like it's a bad thing.

02:27:33.000 Nope.

02:27:33.000 Mounting studies indicate that the nicotine and other chemicals delivered by vaping, while generally less toxic than conventional cigarettes, can damage the lungs and heart.

02:27:44.000 But so far, there has been no clear understanding about what happens when the vaporized flavoring molecules and flavored vaping products, after being inhaled, enter the bloodstream and reach the heart. 1.00

02:27:57.000 I think part of the issue is also that these motherfuckers are doing that shit all day. 1.00

02:28:02.000 I knew a kid who got really sick. 1.00

02:28:04.000 He had a real problem.

02:28:05.000 And he was a college kid.

02:28:08.000 He was 19. And he was vaping all day.

02:28:11.000 All day.

02:28:13.000 That's not good.

02:28:14.000 No.

02:28:14.000 You can't smoke weed all day.

02:28:17.000 No.

02:28:17.000 But vaping, there's something about...

02:28:19.000 It's also the quality of the oils that they're using to make the vape. 0.98

02:28:24.000 Like, they can use some shit quality and that stuff can... 0.96

02:28:28.000 You know, it's like... 0.99

02:28:29.000 It's an irritant for the inside of your lungs.

02:28:32.000 Yes.

02:28:33.000 Unlike this alcohol.

02:28:35.000 Oh, this alcohol is good for you.

02:28:37.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:28:38.000 Right?

02:28:38.000 It's so good for you.

02:28:39.000 I'm glad you agree.

02:28:40.000 How good does it feel to pee when you have to pee?

02:28:43.000 Oh, that was a good pee.

02:28:45.000 It's one of the most underrated pleasures.

02:28:47.000 You know, it's so underrated.

02:28:49.000 It's like sometimes you sit there and you're taking a pee and you're just like, wow, this feels really good.

02:28:54.000 This is great.

02:28:55.000 Yeah, when you really have to go and you finally get in, you're like, oh.

02:29:00.000 I don't know if I make that face or not.

02:29:02.000 I do.

02:29:02.000 I don't care if anybody's watching.

02:29:05.000 I don't care.

02:29:07.000 Are we lying?

02:29:08.000 Are we pretending we don't like this?

02:29:10.000 I like peeing.

02:29:11.000 Okay, I gotta look at this notes thing.

02:29:13.000 Do you have more?

02:29:14.000 Oh, I had a good one.

02:29:15.000 I'm afraid to even bring this one up because I don't think we should do it, but it is pretty funny.

02:29:19.000 Bring it up.

02:29:25.000 Cardi B's song. 1.00

02:29:27.000 What Ass Pussy? 1.00

02:29:28.000 Yes. 1.00

02:29:28.000 I didn't listen to it. 1.00

02:29:29.000 Okay, so I've been challenged by somebody on my... 0.97

02:29:33.000 Hard Ass Dick? 1.00

02:29:34.000 You got a Hard Ass Dick song? 1.00

02:29:35.000 Not right now. 0.99

02:29:36.000 Swamp Ass? 0.99

02:29:37.000 No, but I've been challenged.

02:29:40.000 Somebody said that you guys need to recite the lyrics.

02:29:45.000 Whoever challenged you that needs... 1.00

02:29:46.000 To die. 1.00

02:29:47.000 Get off Twitter. 1.00

02:29:48.000 Yeah, to die. 1.00

02:29:49.000 Just go out and run. 1.00

02:29:50.000 Okay, and then...

02:29:51.000 Start doing push-ups.

02:29:52.000 And then tattoos.

02:29:53.000 Who do we got in town?

02:29:54.000 Have you gotten a tattoo here in Austin yet?

02:29:55.000 I have not gotten a tattoo in Austin.

02:29:56.000 You've got to do that.

02:29:58.000 Yeah, there's a lot of good tattooists, though.

02:30:00.000 Okay, so...

02:30:01.000 There's a lot of good artists in general.

02:30:03.000 Food artists, a lot of good chefs.

02:30:04.000 Every artist is down there.

02:30:05.000 Yeah, there's a lot of great musicians.

02:30:07.000 Yeah, this is everything down here in Austin.

02:30:09.000 It's art, it's food, it's...

02:30:12.000 Everything in the world.

02:30:14.000 So if there's a good tattoo person out there, I would like to go get a tattoo this evening.

02:30:20.000 This evening?

02:30:21.000 Well, the problem is the show's not going to come out until tomorrow, so we're going to have to put it on Twitter.

02:30:25.000 But if you put it on Twitter or Instagram...

02:30:27.000 Well, I've got to stay until tomorrow because you said I'm going to dinner with you.

02:30:29.000 Yeah.

02:30:30.000 Put up your tattoos, take a photo of it, put it on Instagram, and say, hey, I'm in Austin.

02:30:36.000 I'm here for a couple days. 1.00

02:30:37.000 I need a fucking tattoo. 1.00

02:30:40.000 Boom. 1.00

02:30:40.000 Yeah, that's pretty cool. 1.00

02:30:43.000 It's better than Cardi B one.

02:30:44.000 If I knew how to work that.

02:30:46.000 Just put it on Instagram.

02:30:49.000 You're free from Discovery Channel Clutches.

02:30:50.000 Let's just talk about the last line of the song.

02:30:52.000 Aren't you free?

02:30:52.000 Like macaroni in a pot.

02:30:54.000 I didn't listen to the song.

02:30:55.000 You could be making things up.

02:30:57.000 I did not know.

02:30:58.000 You'd be like, the cat in the hat.

02:31:00.000 The Grinch stole Christmas.

02:31:02.000 I don't know what it says.

02:31:03.000 How does he steal Christmas?

02:31:05.000 He's near Whoville.

02:31:06.000 Didn't steal it for the whole world.

02:31:09.000 Okay, so my new big thing I was going to ask about this is, you know, you're saying you want 1,000 acres.

02:31:17.000 Yeah, around there.

02:31:18.000 1,000, 2,000.

02:31:19.000 See, I want an expedition vehicle.

02:31:21.000 Ooh.

02:31:22.000 Like what kind?

02:31:24.000 Well, there's a company called Earth Roamer.

02:31:26.000 Yes.

02:31:27.000 Yes.

02:31:27.000 Oh, we featured them many times.

02:31:29.000 Yeah, so... 1.00

02:31:29.000 They make some dope shit. 1.00

02:31:30.000 I want one of those. 1.00

02:31:31.000 They make, like, million-dollar vehicles.

02:31:33.000 Yeah, I don't want to pay that.

02:31:35.000 Yeah, you shouldn't.

02:31:36.000 But...

02:31:36.000 That's a lot.

02:31:37.000 I do want one of those fuckers. 1.00

02:31:38.000 I think you can make that. 1.00

02:31:40.000 You don't...

02:31:41.000 Do you need a company?

02:31:42.000 Well, I couldn't do the extruded...

02:31:45.000 Mm.

02:31:46.000 The body.

02:31:47.000 The body.

02:31:48.000 Look at that.

02:31:49.000 Come on, son.

02:31:50.000 Come on.

02:31:51.000 That is a pandemic vehicle if I ever saw one. 1.00

02:31:54.000 So I want one of those fuckers and I want to drive around. 0.99

02:31:56.000 I would love to drive from Dallas, Texas all the way to Brazil. 1.00

02:32:00.000 Oh Jesus, you're gonna get killed. 0.97

02:32:02.000 What kind of gas tank does that thing have? 0.99

02:32:06.000 Well, I would assume it's a regular guest.

02:32:08.000 Scroll up.

02:32:09.000 Look at the interior.

02:32:11.000 Yeah.

02:32:11.000 Look at that.

02:32:12.000 See, mine wouldn't look like that.

02:32:13.000 It'd have all plush.

02:32:14.000 Go full screen.

02:32:14.000 Look at this.

02:32:15.000 I'd have plush pillows. 1.00

02:32:16.000 Look at that fucking place, though, man. 1.00

02:32:18.000 That is so amazing. 0.99

02:32:20.000 Yeah, and I don't even know this company, so I'm not even punting them for freaking money.

02:32:25.000 No, I don't know them either, but we've talked about them multiple times.

02:32:27.000 I want one of these things.

02:32:29.000 We've talked about them how many times, Jamie?

02:32:31.000 Six?

02:32:32.000 Sure, yeah.

02:32:33.000 I mean, this is an actual podcast fan.

02:32:36.000 This is amazing.

02:32:38.000 I want one of those things.

02:32:39.000 So if you're listening to Earth Roamer, I need it for free.

02:32:42.000 There's certain people that get to a certain point in their life where they're like, why am I just staying in one spot?

02:32:47.000 I just want to live.

02:32:48.000 I just want to drive around.

02:32:50.000 Go see Moab.

02:32:51.000 Go see upstate New York.

02:32:54.000 Nobody goes there, but let's pretend.

02:32:56.000 And go see...

02:32:59.000 115 gallons of diesel. 1.00

02:33:01.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:33:04.000 Wow! 1.00

02:33:05.000 That's crazy.

02:33:06.000 That's a giant tank, man.

02:33:08.000 God, that's so much money to fill it, though.

02:33:10.000 115's not a giant tank.

02:33:13.000 Really?

02:33:13.000 We had 26 in our original tank and then 40 in our backup tank for the Cannonball Run.

02:33:20.000 So, about half.

02:33:21.000 I don't know. 0.99

02:33:23.000 Listen, that's a lot of fucking gas. 0.98

02:33:26.000 Next level in luxury overland vehicles. 0.99

02:33:30.000 That's a fact.

02:33:31.000 If you're one of those people that just doesn't want to live in an apartment, you just want to travel around. 1.00

02:33:35.000 Dude, fuck that. 1.00

02:33:36.000 You get one of those, and you go take the Joe Rogan experience on the road. 1.00

02:33:42.000 You're meeting with different people and different pieces of life.

02:33:46.000 I'm busy.

02:33:46.000 Good luck with that, Richard Rawlings.

02:33:48.000 And your gas monkey experience on the road. 1.00

02:33:51.000 Shit. 1.00

02:33:52.000 Because I'm not doing that. 0.99

02:33:54.000 I wouldn't mind doing it like what Jamie said with a van, knowing it can't go that far.

02:34:03.000 Oh, yeah.

02:34:03.000 Take that van to a comedy show.

02:34:05.000 You're going to go from Austin to San Antonio to Houston to San Antonio to Dallas. 0.99

02:34:10.000 Holy shit, look how expensive they are. 0.99

02:34:12.000 These are used, pre-roamed, they call it. 1.00

02:34:14.000 Wow, 580 grand for a used one? 1.00

02:34:17.000 Click on that bitch. 1.00

02:34:17.000 Yeah, get you some of that. 1.00

02:34:18.000 Woo! 0.99

02:34:19.000 Look how pretty that is, though.

02:34:21.000 It's got 36,000 miles, they want 580 grand.

02:34:25.000 That seems a little pricey.

02:34:28.000 But it's pretty nice.

02:34:29.000 So what is it new? 0.98

02:34:31.000 Oh, shit, 750, 800. Gun safe in the back cabinet. 1.00

02:34:36.000 Woo! 0.99

02:34:36.000 In the bunk cabinet. 0.99

02:34:38.000 Built-in wine rack for the ladies.

02:34:40.000 Oh, they got a FLIR infrared camera to spot UFOs.

02:34:45.000 What are your thoughts on UFOs, Richard?

02:34:47.000 Do you really want to know?

02:34:48.000 Yes. 1.00

02:34:54.000 I... Shit, how do I say this without sounding like a complete insane motherfucker? 1.00

02:35:02.000 Um... 1.00

02:35:06.000 I don't even know how.

02:35:08.000 Just say it.

02:35:10.000 Take another swig and say it.

02:35:12.000 I think that there are UFOs.

02:35:15.000 Do you think there are aliens?

02:35:17.000 There's a lot of things that are unidentified, but it could be Russian, Chinese.

02:35:22.000 I do.

02:35:23.000 But I also don't think that we were ever landed on the moon.

02:35:27.000 Whoa.

02:35:28.000 I went on that trip for a long time.

02:35:30.000 I don't believe we did.

02:35:31.000 I don't think we landed on the moon for a long time.

02:35:35.000 How did you change?

02:35:37.000 I abandoned it.

02:35:38.000 Talking to smart people that actually have enough data about what happened.

02:35:45.000 It's not that it's impossible that it was faked.

02:35:48.000 It's that I really have no business saying it was faked.

02:35:52.000 Because if anybody's going to trust me about anything...

02:35:56.000 Ever.

02:35:56.000 I have to be honest about everything.

02:35:59.000 And if I'm honest about that, I have not put enough time or effort into actually understanding and studying all the data that's available that indicates that we did go to the moon.

02:36:13.000 I think it's fun and it's enticing to just say, I don't think we went to the moon.

02:36:20.000 And I've done that.

02:36:22.000 And I've even argued it successfully based on a lot of different variables.

02:36:26.000 But I think at the end of the day, I don't really know what I'm talking about unless I want to, like, study.

02:36:31.000 Like, deeply, deeply study.

02:36:34.000 What they did, how they figured out how to get people on the moon, how they figured out how to get people back. 0.98

02:36:41.000 Unless I want to do that, I really should shut the fuck up. 0.98

02:36:44.000 That's what I really think. 0.99

02:36:45.000 I really think that because I think it's a complex issue, and I think it's so simple to look at a complex issue and just say, I believe this, or I believe that.

02:36:56.000 But you really shouldn't say that unless there's a reason why you believe something.

02:37:00.000 And sometimes people believe things because it sounds more fun or because it's more convenient or because they're more conspiratorially oriented.

02:37:07.000 It seems like more exciting to believe in the conspiracy.

02:37:11.000 All the things that I'm saying don't mean that conspiracies don't exist or don't mean even that that conspiracy doesn't exist. 0.94

02:37:18.000 But it's just that if you want to call bullshit, you should know what you're talking about. 0.96

02:37:23.000 And I don't. 0.99

02:37:24.000 That's the reality.

02:37:26.000 I agree with you 100%.

02:37:28.000 So my rebuttal is completely different.

02:37:34.000 Okay.

02:37:35.000 We are hunters and gatherers at our core from the beginning of human.

02:37:41.000 And if we went to someplace that no one else has ever gone, we would not stop.

02:37:50.000 We would keep going there and we would take it over even if it was worthless because we just want at our core being.

02:38:00.000 And so my thought process is not are they wrong?

02:38:05.000 Did they lie?

02:38:06.000 My thought process is if that really happened, then We'd have W Hotel on the moon right now.

02:38:17.000 Here's how I like to look at things.

02:38:19.000 I see what you're saying.

02:38:20.000 And what you're saying is, if we would have bumped, we would have definitely bumped.

02:38:28.000 Here's what I say.

02:38:29.000 There's a high likelihood that if we went to the moon, that we would continue to explore space and we would advance on the type of travel that we use to go to the moon.

02:38:45.000 But we're not.

02:38:49.000 And you look at when Kennedy said, we will land a man on the moon in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy but because they are hard. 0.97

02:38:59.000 In 1969, you know, when they landed a man on the moon, cars drove like shit, TVs were useless, there was so much technology that was nonsense.

02:39:10.000 In 2020, we still can't really put a man on the moon right now. 0.73

02:39:17.000 That doesn't mean they didn't put a man on the moon.

02:39:19.000 This is what I used to think.

02:39:20.000 I used to think it meant they didn't put a man on the moon.

02:39:22.000 But now what I think is it's very expensive and very difficult to put a man on the moon.

02:39:31.000 Did they do it at one point in time?

02:39:32.000 They said they did, and I don't know if they did or didn't, realistically.

02:39:37.000 But I do know that they haven't invested the same kind of money that they used to win the space race against the Russians.

02:39:43.000 They haven't invested that kind of money in the same way, like with this competitive American spirit behind it.

02:39:49.000 They haven't done that since.

02:39:50.000 And that's allegedly what allowed them to get to the moon and to do it before the Russians could. 0.79

02:39:56.000 Even though the Russians were the first people in space, the Russians had all these different firsts.

02:40:00.000 First man in space, first animal in space, first satellite in space.

02:40:06.000 There was a monkey, by the way.

02:40:07.000 Yeah.

02:40:08.000 But the first man in space, too.

02:40:09.000 Yeah.

02:40:09.000 But even the first man in space, I believe they put a man in space.

02:40:13.000 But the problem with their claim is they released video footage that...

02:40:19.000 What was the guy's name?

02:40:22.000 Yuri...

02:40:22.000 I'm trying to remember the first guy in space.

02:40:26.000 But the footage that they used, what they showed on television, was 100% bullshit. 0.89

02:40:32.000 The footage was like a recreation of this guy in space. 0.98

02:40:35.000 Because there's shadows, so there's a light here and a light here.

02:40:40.000 But the actual module, whatever the capsule was, they launched him into space.

02:40:46.000 It was way too small to have a conventional camera from 1967 or whatever the fuck it was.

02:40:53.000 Well, I think we've been to space. 0.60

02:40:55.000 I just don't know about that.

02:40:56.000 That's a fact.

02:40:57.000 We definitely have been to space.

02:40:58.000 The question is, have they gone all the way to another body like the moon and returned?

02:41:03.000 My argument's solid.

02:41:06.000 We're hunters and gatherers.

02:41:08.000 We would have taken...

02:41:10.000 It's not really a good argument.

02:41:28.000 During that thinking, that's when people advance technology and literature and their understanding of the world itself.

02:41:36.000 That's where Galileo came up with his ideas about the universe itself and that the Earth wasn't the center of that universe.

02:41:43.000 It's not a hunter and gatherer thing.

02:41:45.000 It's actually step removed from hunter and gatherer, which is Agriculture.

02:41:50.000 Agriculture which allows cities and these places where people can be safe and they have accumulated supplies of food so they can think about things.

02:41:59.000 So this is what's required to go to the moon. 0.92

02:42:02.000 The hunter-gatherer thing, this is why it falls apart because hunter and gatherers would never go to the fucking moon in the first place. 0.98

02:42:07.000 You have to stay alive. 0.99

02:42:08.000 You have to feed your kids. 1.00

02:42:09.000 You have time to spend a couple of weeks flying to another fucking rock that's hovering over the earth. 1.00

02:42:14.000 Not true. 0.99

02:42:15.000 You want to take over.

02:42:16.000 And on top of that...

02:42:17.000 But hunter-gatherers do not understand.

02:42:19.000 On top of that, do you know that the moon's atmosphere is the most perfect for glowing the most perfect bud in the world?

02:42:26.000 Says who? 0.65

02:42:27.000 Oh, I just said it.

02:42:33.000 There's no air up there.

02:42:34.000 Oh, it's so good, bud.

02:42:36.000 No, it's not true.

02:42:37.000 If you could get bud on the moon.

02:42:39.000 But there's no oxygen.

02:42:40.000 Plants convert oxygen.

02:42:43.000 They convert carbon dioxide to oxygen.

02:42:45.000 They would release oxygen.

02:42:47.000 So they'd need some carbon dioxide.

02:42:48.000 There's no air.

02:42:49.000 There's no nothing.

02:42:50.000 There's no gases.

02:42:51.000 Throw a few shipping containers up there.

02:42:53.000 Put some lights in it and get after it.

02:42:55.000 Bro.

02:42:55.000 No.

02:42:55.000 You need more than that.

02:42:57.000 You need giant tanks of gases that are native to Earth that don't exist on the moon.

02:43:02.000 I see what you're saying about the hunter-gatherer thing, and I see how you think that way.

02:43:06.000 We're conquerors.

02:43:08.000 We would go and take it.

02:43:09.000 Hunter-gatherers were not the conquerors, man.

02:43:11.000 There'd be a Hotel Zaza up there.

02:43:14.000 We'd go up there and hang out and dip in the pool.

02:43:17.000 Maybe.

02:43:17.000 Maybe, but maybe not.

02:43:19.000 Maybe they would be too busy with the Cold War.

02:43:21.000 Maybe they'd be too busy with all the different problems they had with the Vietnam War.

02:43:27.000 Maybe they would be too busy trying to fund education and healthcare. 0.96

02:43:32.000 They don't have the money to fucking keep putting people on the moon. 0.89

02:43:35.000 Maybe it's so expensive. 0.98

02:43:37.000 They just can't do it all the time.

02:43:39.000 I don't think it is.

02:43:40.000 There would have to be a reason where you can make real money doing it.

02:43:45.000 And therein lies the problem.

02:43:47.000 And a lot of people think that's also why they canceled the shuttle program. 1.00

02:43:52.000 But again, you're talking to a fucking idiot. 1.00

02:43:55.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:43:57.000 Actually, I was talking to two of us. 1.00

02:43:59.000 Two idiots. 1.00

02:43:59.000 There it goes. 1.00

02:44:01.000 Space Adventures is charging $150 million per seat, a price that includes months of ground-based testing, although this is on a fly-by mission. 0.99

02:44:12.000 Bullshit! 0.99

02:44:13.000 It would not land on the moon. 1.00

02:44:14.000 It's got 77 million views?

02:44:17.000 Space tourism.

02:44:18.000 So, 150 million per seat for space tourism, and then Virgin Space was like 250 to go into orbit, right?

02:44:25.000 Yeah, I think that's like up and down a couple of times.

02:44:27.000 Yeah, it just goes around the Earth a few times, like a half hour.

02:44:30.000 Yeah, you just go higher than the other planes.

02:44:32.000 It's supposed to be mine.

02:44:33.000 I had Terry Virts on last week.

02:44:36.000 He spent 200 days in the space station.

02:44:38.000 We talk to those dudes, and they talk about, like, there's me before I went to space, and there's me.

02:44:45.000 I haven't got to watch that yet, but I heard it's insane.

02:44:48.000 It's just a heavy thing to be in space for hundreds of days.

02:44:53.000 There's Blue Origin, which is Amazon's project.

02:44:55.000 It's like a big balloon I kind of think you go up in, I think.

02:44:58.000 I don't like how he's ripping off my boyfriend, Elon Musk.

02:45:01.000 Seems like he's lying about things.

02:45:03.000 Would he just go straight up and then come down?

02:45:06.000 Yeah, more or less.

02:45:07.000 There's a video of him in Elon, and Elon, like years before, like accomplishing things, and then Jeff Bezos say they're going to be the first to accomplish things after Elon's already done it.

02:45:21.000 Allegedly.

02:45:22.000 But I'm glad that he's doing it. 1.00

02:45:25.000 I'm glad that there's rich people that blow money doing crazy shit. 1.00

02:45:29.000 New Glenn. 1.00

02:45:30.000 If you're rich, you have to.

02:45:32.000 I mean, that's what cuts the path for the future.

02:45:35.000 Go back to him. 0.99

02:45:36.000 Raise hell. 0.99

02:45:37.000 A really big step.

02:45:38.000 An orbital, reusable launch vehicle that will build a road to space.

02:45:46.000 You got $150 billion.

02:45:48.000 That's the move.

02:45:49.000 Right?

02:45:50.000 You're a guy like Jeff Bezos?

02:45:52.000 $150 billion?

02:45:53.000 Hot girlfriend? 0.91

02:45:55.000 No!

02:45:56.000 You think she's hot? 1.00

02:45:57.000 I like that.

02:45:58.000 Yeah, I like her.

02:45:59.000 Wow.

02:46:00.000 You know what you think she's hot? 1.00

02:46:03.000 Um...

02:46:04.000 Oh...

02:46:05.000 Okay.

02:46:09.000 I'm just going to say no.

02:46:11.000 Tourism on the moon, no.

02:46:12.000 No, she's not that hot. 1.00

02:46:13.000 She's a lovely lady. 0.99

02:46:14.000 How dare you?

02:46:16.000 I didn't say she was a good person or not.

02:46:18.000 She might not be as hot as your wife. 1.00

02:46:20.000 She looks good, though.

02:46:21.000 She's not as hot as my wife. 1.00

02:46:22.000 She looks good.

02:46:23.000 My wife is hot. 1.00

02:46:25.000 I mean, Jesus.

02:46:28.000 How many years would have to go by before you get a coronavirus vaccine and then take a tour of the moon?

02:46:37.000 I know, right?

02:46:38.000 How many people would have to do it successfully before you'd be like, I'm in?

02:46:41.000 I'm not against any of it.

02:46:43.000 I mean, I'm not a bad guy. 1.00

02:46:45.000 I'm just thinking, fuck. 0.99

02:46:47.000 It doesn't mean you're a bad guy. 1.00

02:46:48.000 Let's just shoot some shit in you. 1.00

02:46:50.000 You know what the biggest thing, especially with you and me, we have to travel. 1.00

02:46:54.000 We just gave up our DNA. What, with the nose swab?

02:46:57.000 Yeah.

02:46:58.000 Gave up your DNA. Yeah.

02:47:00.000 You give up your DNA every time you leave a Starbucks cop in the fucking garbage. 1.00

02:47:03.000 Well, this is true. 1.00

02:47:05.000 Yeah, listen.

02:47:06.000 Don't worry about your DNA. Who's out there scratching up your DNA? The problem is, like, who's collecting it?

02:47:12.000 What are they doing with it?

02:47:13.000 It's like, this is the funniest thing.

02:47:15.000 You'll like this, being a comedian.

02:47:17.000 I was being interviewed.

02:47:19.000 When my first show was coming on.

02:47:21.000 So it was Monday morning.

02:47:23.000 My show was going to come on that night.

02:47:25.000 And it was going to be...

02:47:27.000 First show ever.

02:47:28.000 First show ever.

02:47:29.000 You know, it was fast and loud, episode one.

02:47:32.000 And the lady's interviewing me that morning at the local news, Channel 8 in Dallas.

02:47:39.000 She goes, so, you know, you grew up here in Dallas-Fort Worth.

02:47:42.000 Do you have any kids?

02:47:43.000 And I said...

02:47:45.000 Well, we'll find out in the morning. 0.99

02:47:49.000 And the whole little room of newsroom people were like, oh shit, what do we do with that? 0.99

02:47:57.000 Yeah, that's stand-up comedy talk. 0.99

02:47:59.000 Yeah.

02:48:00.000 So, there was no extra kids, only my one kid Chandler.

02:48:03.000 So, I did good that day.

02:48:05.000 What does this have to do with vaccines and putting people on the moon?

02:48:08.000 It has nothing to do with vaccines and putting people on the moon.

02:48:12.000 Jesus Christ.

02:48:13.000 How many years would have to go by before people were doing commercial space flight before you decided to just take a take a shot?

02:48:20.000 See what's up?

02:48:21.000 I think it could happen tomorrow.

02:48:23.000 If somebody like comes to you with a solid concept, we're gonna put you in space, bring you right back down to Earth?

02:48:29.000 I don't think space is as big a deal right now.

02:48:31.000 I think that it's a big business.

02:48:34.000 And the fact that all the richest people in the world are in it, prove it, you know.

02:48:40.000 That'd be like saying, oh my gosh, you can't ship this package.

02:48:44.000 It's going to be $5,000 on FedEx.

02:48:48.000 Nah.

02:48:49.000 The fact that the richest guys in the world are in it means it's very cheap and you can get the hell out of here.

02:48:56.000 Is that what it means?

02:48:57.000 I think it means there's a lot of benefit in being one of the people that innovates in space travel.

02:49:03.000 If you could come up with a thing where you send people into space and every time you do it you could charge someone a hundred grand and you get like a million people a year to give up a hundred grand and go flying into space. 0.98

02:49:16.000 That's a lot of fucking money. 0.89

02:49:17.000 It's only a hundred million dollars. 1.00

02:49:20.000 A million people?

02:49:21.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:49:22.000 Yeah.

02:49:23.000 I mean, I don't want to talk about your past or anything.

02:49:26.000 No, it's not a hundred.

02:49:28.000 It's a hundred thousand.

02:49:31.000 Yeah, it's not a hundred million.

02:49:35.000 That's a hundred billion.

02:49:36.000 Well, that's when you start moving commas and not zeros.

02:49:39.000 Well, that's when you do math.

02:49:41.000 Yes.

02:49:42.000 So, like, if you're Jeff Bezos and you can make a hundred billion doing that...

02:49:50.000 I mean, you wouldn't make $100 billion.

02:49:51.000 What if you make $50 every year just putting people into space?

02:49:55.000 That seems very valuable.

02:49:56.000 It's going to become a commodity very quickly.

02:49:59.000 Yeah, putting people in space.

02:50:01.000 But space is just a high-flying airplane.

02:50:04.000 Right.

02:50:04.000 But if people are willing to spend a lot of money doing it, and then if you can figure out a way to escape Earth's gravity and land on Mars, or land on Europa, on one of the moons, I'll wait to see it.

02:50:22.000 What if you could figure out a way to fucking fly around Venus and come back home? 0.99

02:50:28.000 What the fuck is the point? 0.99

02:50:30.000 The point is the experience. 0.99

02:50:32.000 Just like the point of going to Everest.

02:50:34.000 Is the point being at the highest spot? 0.99

02:50:36.000 Who gives a fuck if you went to the highest spot? 0.99

02:50:38.000 Nobody gives a shit. 0.99

02:50:39.000 But the point is the experience. 0.98

02:50:41.000 The experience of going there and knowing that it's a difficult thing to do.

02:50:45.000 It gives you an unusual vision.

02:50:48.000 An unusual perspective.

02:50:50.000 An experience that few people rarely see. 1.00

02:50:54.000 Ad blocker, you motherfucker. 1.00

02:50:56.000 Gotta disable ad blocker, son. 1.00

02:50:59.000 That's bullshit. 0.99

02:51:02.000 Tickets to Mars will eventually cost less than $500,000, Elon Musk says. 0.99

02:51:07.000 Well, thank you, Elon.

02:51:08.000 What a bargain.

02:51:09.000 What a bargain.

02:51:10.000 Only a half a million? 0.99

02:51:12.000 I could fly all the way around the fucking earth and stop 72 times for 500 grand. 0.98

02:51:17.000 But if they really do get to that point, and they probably will. 0.97

02:51:20.000 Look, if you go back to the invention of the first automobile in like the 1800s, and then you look at what they can do today with like a...

02:51:29.000 Jamie has a Tesla Model X. They go, shut the fuck up, bro. 1.00

02:51:34.000 They're great. 1.00

02:51:35.000 They go 0-60 so fast it doesn't seem right.

02:51:39.000 And it's a SUV. They're so fast.

02:51:42.000 Have you driven one?

02:51:43.000 Did you see the ludicrous mode?

02:51:44.000 Yeah.

02:51:44.000 Like this plus actually.

02:51:45.000 Have you driven one like that?

02:51:47.000 Yeah.

02:51:47.000 They're preposterous.

02:51:48.000 They're so fast.

02:51:49.000 It is insane. 0.97

02:51:49.000 So you go from that old car that was like, you know, fucking 20 horsepower to what he's got. 0.97

02:51:55.000 It's insane. 0.99

02:51:57.000 Now go a thousand years from now.

02:52:00.000 There's no way you can guess.

02:52:02.000 And if you look at what we can do right now, if commercial space flight is a real thing and they're flying people into orbit, There is no doubt in my mind that whatever the amount of time it is, whether it's 50 years or 100 years from now, they're going to absolutely have spaceflight to Mars and bring people home.

02:52:22.000 They'll probably come up with some new propulsion system, some fucking wild, crazy shit that we haven't even thought of before, and they'll change everything.

02:52:31.000 It's not going to happen with this giant go-straight-up. 0.96

02:52:35.000 It's going to have to be something that circumnavigates and gains speed.

02:52:39.000 Alien technology.

02:52:40.000 Nah, I don't know about alien technology, but it's going to have to be something that circumnavigates and gains speed.

02:52:45.000 As long as you say circumnavigates, I think you know what you're talking about.

02:52:53.000 Imagine being at NASA. What you guys need to do is fucking circumnavigate. 0.99

02:52:59.000 Exactly. 0.98

02:53:00.000 Get it around.

02:53:01.000 It's not going to go straight up, boys.

02:53:02.000 Never go straight up.

02:53:04.000 The Earth spins.

02:53:05.000 You've got to go with the spin of the Earth.

02:53:06.000 Never go straight.

02:53:07.000 Go forward.

02:53:07.000 It doesn't go straight.

02:53:08.000 It looks like it's going straight. 0.99

02:53:09.000 But it goes straight in relationship to where you're standing, but not in relationship to the way the Earth's spinning and the way the fucking planets are aligned. 0.98

02:53:18.000 It's all complicated. 1.00

02:53:20.000 Another fucking ad pop-up. 1.00

02:53:21.000 Jesus, dude. 1.00

02:53:22.000 It just doesn't even work anymore.

02:53:24.000 I thought you were supposed to be really good at this.

02:53:25.000 He's the best.

02:53:26.000 That's not the problem.

02:53:27.000 The problem is pop-up ads.

02:53:29.000 NASA is launching a 4G mobile network on the moon. 0.99

02:53:32.000 Yeah, well, when I have 6G, I'm not going to settle for 4G on the moon, you fucks. 1.00

02:53:37.000 That's like getting 1X in the Amazon. 1.00

02:53:40.000 Who the fuck's getting it on the moon? 1.00

02:53:42.000 Assholes. 1.00

02:53:43.000 How many customers are on the moon right now? 1.00

02:53:45.000 Jeff Bezos is gonna be with that girl that you don't even like on the moon.

02:53:48.000 I just wasn't impressed with her.

02:53:49.000 Drinking martinis.

02:53:49.000 I mean, if I was worth, you know, hundreds of billions of dollars, I think I could do better.

02:53:54.000 I gotta pee, too.

02:53:55.000 So we can either wrap this up or I could pee and we keep going.

02:53:58.000 Well, I don't care.

02:53:58.000 I'll be right back.

02:54:00.000 Oh, yeah? 0.98

02:54:00.000 You gonna fucking dare me? 0.98

02:54:02.000 What, you got your notes? 0.99

02:54:03.000 Oh, I'm just picking up my...

02:54:05.000 Have you thought about what I said about space travel?

02:54:08.000 Yes!

02:54:09.000 And I'm not disagreeing. 1.00

02:54:11.000 What I'm telling you is, as a race, we take over shit. 0.99

02:54:17.000 We try. 1.00

02:54:18.000 We go and grab shit. 0.99

02:54:20.000 We take over it. 1.00

02:54:20.000 We fight about it. 1.00

02:54:21.000 We say, this is our land.

02:54:23.000 This is your land.

02:54:25.000 Right.

02:54:26.000 If we'd have been to the moon, we'd be up there.

02:54:29.000 The argument is that every single technological achievement from 1969 is easier, cheaper, and faster to reproduce today except going to the moon.

02:54:40.000 That's the argument.

02:54:41.000 I say wrong because I was born in 69. That was fucking cheap. 0.99

02:54:45.000 What do you mean? 0.99

02:54:47.000 The argument is that everything from then you could do cheaper today and easier.

02:54:53.000 Like televisions.

02:54:54.000 Yeah, but they say you can't.

02:54:57.000 Well, they didn't work at it.

02:54:59.000 That's the problem.

02:55:00.000 It's the only thing they didn't work at.

02:55:02.000 The only other things they didn't work at is like...

02:55:05.000 How much innovation have there been in air flight?

02:55:09.000 In commercial air travel?

02:55:11.000 Not much.

02:55:13.000 Propellers? 0.98

02:55:14.000 It's been 100 years, right?

02:55:15.000 No, 69 they were already flying jets.

02:55:17.000 When did they start flying jets?

02:55:18.000 Oh, I guess, yeah.

02:55:19.000 They stopped sort of, I guess, with the Concorde.

02:55:23.000 That thing killed a lot of rich people. 0.98

02:55:26.000 Or they're not telling us how far they made it into space.

02:55:28.000 Well, the Concorde killed people that they can't kill.

02:55:32.000 What was that, getting you to France in like two hours or something?

02:55:36.000 Something crazy?

02:55:38.000 Couldn't have gone faster, they just kept it there?

02:55:40.000 Or no?

02:55:41.000 I don't know.

02:55:41.000 I think the thing that happened to them was on the runway.

02:55:44.000 I think it lost a wheel or something on the runway and killed a bunch of rich people.

02:55:48.000 Or ran into a tire.

02:55:50.000 Something like that.

02:55:50.000 It says low passenger numbers and rising maintenance costs.

02:55:53.000 I mean, it was kind of expensive, wasn't it?

02:55:56.000 I'm sure.

02:55:58.000 I mean, it's going supersonic speeds, you know? 0.97

02:56:04.000 I mean, how the fuck does it not break? 0.94

02:56:06.000 Eh, it wasn't that bad. 0.98

02:56:08.000 What wasn't that bad?

02:56:09.000 The price.

02:56:09.000 I thought, for some reason in my head, I thought it was like...

02:56:11.000 A ticket?

02:56:12.000 Thousands and thousands of dollars.

02:56:13.000 How much was the ticket?

02:56:14.000 Since the fare was about $500 or just over $1,000.

02:56:17.000 In what year?

02:56:18.000 When did they stop?

02:56:19.000 1990?

02:56:20.000 1990. That's kind of crazy.

02:56:21.000 That was the Concord.

02:56:22.000 Sorry.

02:56:23.000 Stopped in 2000. That's kind of crazy if you think about progression.

02:56:27.000 Like, in...

02:56:29.000 2000, you could fly at supersonic speeds commercially.

02:56:33.000 You can't do that now.

02:56:35.000 So that kind of throws a monkey wrench into the idea that things always get better.

02:56:39.000 Because they don't always.

02:56:40.000 When they cost too much money, they don't always get better.

02:56:42.000 I don't think it costs too much money.

02:56:44.000 They were complaining about the sound and the sonic boom.

02:56:49.000 Oh, yeah, that too, right?

02:56:50.000 Yeah.

02:56:51.000 Yeah, but I think there was also a danger of it.

02:56:55.000 The last flight, I think a bunch of people died that were very wealthy.

02:57:00.000 Is that true?

02:57:02.000 Only 13?

02:57:04.000 Oh, yeah.

02:57:05.000 That's a little more than 13. That's fucking serious. 0.99

02:57:08.000 Yeah, and a lot of them were very wealthy. 0.97

02:57:11.000 I think when you get hit with those lawsuits, like...

02:57:16.000 So that's one of those things that from 2000 to 2020 did not get better.

02:57:21.000 It actually stopped. 0.99

02:57:22.000 It's a lot of money to get people on the fucking moon. 0.85

02:57:26.000 It's just one of those things where I think eventually they'll get to space tourism and it'll expand past the moon, it'll go to Mars, and it's going to happen. 0.96

02:57:34.000 But it might happen 100 years from now.

02:57:37.000 It might happen 200 years from now.

02:57:39.000 We might be shocked at how long it takes.

02:57:42.000 Well, then you're pleading my case right there.

02:57:45.000 Why am I playing your case?

02:57:46.000 Because we haven't been there.

02:57:47.000 Might have did it once.

02:57:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:57:49.000 Might have did it once with a bunch of fucking cowboys. 1.00

02:57:51.000 Okay, you went to high school or even elementary school in the 70s, right? 0.99

02:57:56.000 And you studied history.

02:57:58.000 Mm-hmm.

02:57:59.000 Have you ever seen a picture of the flag on the moon?

02:58:02.000 Of course I have.

02:58:04.000 No, through a telescope.

02:58:06.000 Oh, me?

02:58:07.000 Do you know they don't have telescopes that can actually see that clearly on the moon?

02:58:11.000 Yes, they can.

02:58:12.000 Really?

02:58:12.000 Yes.

02:58:13.000 Do you know how telescopes work?

02:58:15.000 They don't work that way.

02:58:18.000 There's a long distance thing, and then there's a close distance thing.

02:58:23.000 You could use magnifying things like binoculars and telescopes that are low magnification, and you can get a good image of something that's not too far away.

02:58:33.000 But then when they started getting too far away...

02:58:36.000 Yes, the flag is still on the moon, but you can't see it using a telescope.

02:58:41.000 But this is why.

02:58:41.000 The Hubble is not pointed at the flag.

02:58:43.000 Here it goes.

02:58:44.000 The Hubble Space Telescope is only 2.4 meters in diameter, much too small.

02:58:50.000 Resolving the larger lunar rover, which has a length of 3.1 meters, would still require a telescope 75 meters in diameter. 0.98

02:58:59.000 So we're the most badass country in the fucking world. 0.99

02:59:02.000 And we put a man on the moon and he planted a fucking flag. 0.99

02:59:08.000 And we ain't showing that off? 0.99

02:59:10.000 I mean, because as a country, we're like Burt Reynolds.

02:59:13.000 What are you going to do?

02:59:14.000 We're going to show off.

02:59:16.000 That's what we do.

02:59:17.000 But did you read what that thing just said?

02:59:20.000 I get your country wisdom where you're looking at it and you're like, if we had this, we would have that.

02:59:25.000 But if you look at that thing, it's saying that the Hubble only has a thing that's 2.4 meters and you need something much larger.

02:59:34.000 Was it 75?

02:59:35.000 75 meters, which is almost a football field size to be able to see what's on the moon.

02:59:42.000 They didn't have the Hubble before.

02:59:44.000 They didn't have the ability to take these high definition images of things that were way far away.

02:59:48.000 Now they do.

02:59:49.000 But to have something that gets really close to things, you need something that's even more potent.

02:59:55.000 It's all for people not like you or me. 0.95

02:59:58.000 We're arguing about shit that we don't study. 0.99

03:00:00.000 That's what the problem is. 0.99

03:00:01.000 I don't even care about it, to tell you the truth.

03:00:04.000 I'm just telling you.

03:00:04.000 Well, you brought it up on a podcast.

03:00:06.000 A million people are listening. 0.94

03:00:07.000 I'm totally screwed now. 0.87

03:00:11.000 Whatever I said to the moon people. 1.00

03:00:11.000 The gas monkey barn grill guy that you're in a fucking argument with, he's going to bring that to court. 1.00

03:00:16.000 Fuck that fucker. 1.00

03:00:17.000 I told you, this guy's crazy. 1.00

03:00:18.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

03:00:19.000 He thinks Neil Armstrong's a liar. 1.00

03:00:21.000 Yeah.

03:00:25.000 So, what's next, sir?

03:00:27.000 Aliens.

03:00:28.000 I don't care about aliens.

03:00:29.000 You think they're paying attention?

03:00:32.000 Personally, I don't.

03:00:33.000 If you were an alien, wouldn't you be fascinated by hot rod culture?

03:00:37.000 Well...

03:00:37.000 I would.

03:00:39.000 I met an old guy a long time ago, and he put it to me the right way.

03:00:44.000 He goes, what if you're just...

03:00:50.000 A experiment in a young kid's school project.

03:00:54.000 What if all this that you built is basically an amp form that you have in your head and you're just an amp form in somebody else's head and somebody else's head?

03:01:03.000 It's kind of like the Matrix.

03:01:04.000 I don't know if that defines us, but it is kind of interesting.

03:01:12.000 I mean, you can't think that you're the only thing out there or we're the only thing out here.

03:01:17.000 If we are an ant farm and we don't know that we're an ant farm and we're living and we understand how the ant farm works...

03:01:27.000 The real problem is if the owner of the ant farm shows up.

03:01:32.000 Up until then, we're just living.

03:01:34.000 If this really is some complex ant farm for people, we're having fun.

03:01:39.000 It's all good.

03:01:40.000 Yeah.

03:01:41.000 The problem.

03:01:42.000 We got some weed.

03:01:43.000 We got some drinks.

03:01:43.000 We're having fun.

03:01:44.000 We're making money.

03:01:45.000 Talking about cars. 1.00

03:01:47.000 Talking shit. 1.00

03:01:48.000 Everything's fine. 1.00

03:01:50.000 The real problem is if the ant farm owner shows up. 1.00

03:01:55.000 That's the problem with these fucking UFOs that keep showing up. 0.99

03:01:57.000 The ones the New York Times puts on the front page of their newspaper. 1.00

03:02:02.000 Is that a real newspaper?

03:02:03.000 Yeah, it's a real paper.

03:02:04.000 They do it in New York State.

03:02:07.000 It's a city called Manhattan.

03:02:08.000 Well, no, I've been there.

03:02:10.000 I just don't know about New York Times being a paper.

03:02:13.000 Well, they're more often a paper than they are not.

03:02:17.000 Sometimes they fuck things up, but they're more often accurate than not.

03:02:22.000 Hmm.

03:02:23.000 Yeah.

03:02:23.000 They were more accurate in the past than they are now.

03:02:26.000 Now they are ideologically driven.

03:02:29.000 They tend to be a bit woke, but they're still probably the best newspaper on earth.

03:02:33.000 Did you say woke?

03:02:34.000 Yes.

03:02:35.000 Woke.

03:02:35.000 You know.

03:02:36.000 Woke.

03:02:38.000 There's rules.

03:02:40.000 You know.

03:02:41.000 The work.

03:02:42.000 Woke rules. 0.99

03:02:46.000 You don't give a fuck about those, right? 0.99

03:02:48.000 I do not. 0.99

03:02:49.000 Me neither.

03:02:50.000 But do you think that aliens have visited?

03:02:56.000 I'm going to give it a 50-50.

03:02:58.000 I'm going to probably lean towards yes.

03:03:00.000 Is this anything you think about on a regular basis?

03:03:03.000 Only when I'm jacking off. 1.00

03:03:12.000 Because that alien pussy, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

03:03:14.000 You want to duck me, motherfucker? 1.00

03:03:15.000 Come get some! 1.00

03:03:17.000 Come get some!

03:03:18.000 Could be sideways.

03:03:20.000 Who knows? 1.00

03:03:21.000 Alien pussy. 1.00

03:03:22.000 Imagine. 1.00

03:03:22.000 Imagine if that was a trick. 1.00

03:03:24.000 I mean, if aliens are smart enough to figure out what we find attractive, they would just tune into that in the most perfect way.

03:03:32.000 Like, find out some things that we're attracted to that we didn't even know.

03:03:36.000 And just bring it to us.

03:03:39.000 You know?

03:03:39.000 Like, if they can read...

03:03:41.000 That's the coolest shit I've ever seen! 1.00

03:03:43.000 Yeah! 1.00

03:03:43.000 I mean, like, fish lures. 1.00

03:03:44.000 Here's a perfect example.

03:03:45.000 Do you fish?

03:03:47.000 I have.

03:03:48.000 Okay. 0.99

03:03:49.000 There's some fish lures that don't look anything like a fucking fish. 0.99

03:03:54.000 They don't look like anything a fish would eat. 0.99

03:03:57.000 Like a crankbait, or no, a spinnerbait.

03:03:59.000 You know what a spinnerbait is? 1.00

03:04:00.000 Oh yeah.

03:04:01.000 Yeah, it's got the big crazy tail, and then the other thing next to it is spinning around.

03:04:05.000 Through the water, yeah.

03:04:05.000 Jamie, show a spinnerbait video.

03:04:07.000 I got it.

03:04:08.000 Pull it through the water, it's spinning. 0.98

03:04:10.000 Yeah, and it drives a largemouth bass fucking crazy. 0.99

03:04:15.000 They see that thing and they're like, God damn it, I can't take it anymore. 0.98

03:04:20.000 I set the lake record at Lake Granbury in 1978 or 1979 for a largemouth bass with a spinning oar. 0.78

03:04:30.000 How big was it?

03:04:31.000 I want to say it was like 13 pounds.

03:04:35.000 It was a big fish.

03:04:35.000 That's a big fish.

03:04:37.000 Yeah.

03:04:37.000 I'd have to go back.

03:04:39.000 I have the clipping, so I will go back and post this at a later date. 0.99

03:04:44.000 That's a fucking hell of a fish. 0.98

03:04:46.000 Yeah, I have the clipping where I'm holding it like this. 0.99

03:04:50.000 You got anything, Jamie?

03:04:51.000 That's just showing people using them, not like in action.

03:04:55.000 Spinner bait in action?

03:04:56.000 I know.

03:04:57.000 Nothing?

03:04:58.000 Well, just show a picture of a spinner bait.

03:05:00.000 Just give me an image of it.

03:05:02.000 Just so people can see.

03:05:04.000 This thing is nothing like anything that a fish...

03:05:06.000 Oh, there he is.

03:05:07.000 So, like, it's almost like a little fish chasing an octopus.

03:05:12.000 It doesn't make any sense.

03:05:13.000 It's such a weird device. 0.99

03:05:16.000 But largemouth bass go fucking crazy. 0.94

03:05:19.000 What if aliens figure out some sort of a version of that for people? 0.97

03:05:26.000 Thank you.

03:05:27.000 You know?

03:05:30.000 You feel me?

03:05:30.000 They will.

03:05:31.000 You know what I'm saying?

03:05:32.000 Like, what if what we find attractive, they go, oh, I don't know.

03:05:36.000 You don't even know what you think is actually attractive. 0.99

03:05:38.000 You want a chick with, not regular tits, but teeth. 1.00

03:05:41.000 Just chomping teeth. 1.00

03:05:42.000 You know, like, whatever. 0.99

03:05:43.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

03:05:44.000 Don't fuck with my tit world. 1.00

03:05:45.000 You saw my girl out there. 1.00

03:05:47.000 I'm sorry. 0.98

03:05:47.000 I love boobs. 0.98

03:05:48.000 Let's talk, let's say eyes. 0.99

03:05:50.000 Okay.

03:05:51.000 Extra eyeballs.

03:05:52.000 Yeah.

03:05:54.000 Would they be scrutinizing?

03:05:56.000 A man likes a woman with warm, accepting, seductive eyeballs. 0.74

03:06:01.000 What if she's got four of them?

03:06:04.000 I wouldn't trust her.

03:06:06.000 You get used to it.

03:06:08.000 No, I couldn't do it.

03:06:09.000 You'd be like, no way.

03:06:11.000 But if they were running this ant farm and they figured that out, that would be our issue.

03:06:18.000 You alright?

03:06:19.000 Jamie's leaving us. 1.00

03:06:20.000 Shit. 1.00

03:06:21.000 Oh, I think they're bringing in coffee. 1.00

03:06:22.000 Well, now we can fuck shit up. 1.00

03:06:24.000 So we can... 1.00

03:06:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:06:25.000 Dad's gone.

03:06:26.000 Yeah, James is gone. 0.99

03:06:27.000 Let's talk about some cool shit. 0.98

03:06:29.000 Let's talk about Jamie's sneaker issues. 0.99

03:06:32.000 Oh, God.

03:06:32.000 Thank you very much.

03:06:34.000 Thank you.

03:06:35.000 Who needs coffee? 0.99

03:06:36.000 I'll bring this off.

03:06:37.000 Who needs it? 0.71

03:06:38.000 Me.

03:06:39.000 I eventually have to get out of here.

03:06:41.000 On the road again.

03:06:43.000 Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

03:06:45.000 I can't wait to get on the road again.

03:06:47.000 So do you have a, for the people that are following you, like your fans at home, do you have a map of when they can expect all this new content, these new ideas?

03:06:57.000 No, actually, I haven't even told anybody until today.

03:07:02.000 Cheers.

03:07:02.000 Cheers, sir.

03:07:03.000 You haven't at all?

03:07:04.000 No.

03:07:05.000 I've been very quiet about it.

03:07:07.000 Well, cat's out of the bag, sir.

03:07:09.000 The cat is out of the bag.

03:07:11.000 I'm unemployed, desperate.

03:07:13.000 Trying to find a show.

03:07:15.000 Just don't know what I'm going to do.

03:07:17.000 It's a good time.

03:07:17.000 It's a good time for transitions.

03:07:20.000 Shit to get weird, you know? 0.99

03:07:22.000 This is a good time. 1.00

03:07:23.000 The whole world's weird.

03:07:24.000 It forces people to figure out what's the best version of what they want to do.

03:07:28.000 Well, you know, none of my competition, if there was any competition, is passing me up.

03:07:35.000 Because they ain't working either.

03:07:36.000 Right.

03:07:38.000 And there's not, really.

03:07:40.000 That's the point, right?

03:07:41.000 There's not much to do.

03:07:42.000 As far as TV with you, in podcasts, you're the very top of the line.

03:07:49.000 And in my world, I'm kind of the top of the line. 0.99

03:07:52.000 I know that sounds like an asshole statement. 0.99

03:07:54.000 No, but it's true, though. 0.99

03:07:55.000 But it's true.

03:07:56.000 Isn't it funny that you got there from personality?

03:07:59.000 That is really what it is.

03:08:01.000 It's love of the thing, but it's also personality.

03:08:06.000 Personality got you there.

03:08:07.000 You ever had coffee and tequila?

03:08:08.000 Have I? Yes, I have.

03:08:10.000 That's good for you.

03:08:12.000 So, I'm lucky enough to be where I'm at, lucky enough to be going through the experience that I'm in, and kind of enjoy it, you know?

03:08:20.000 Just have to wait and watch. 0.99

03:08:24.000 Spilt a lot of shit on your table, but I don't care. 1.00

03:08:26.000 It's good for the table. 1.00

03:08:27.000 But isn't it good to have things happen where you don't really know what the future holds?

03:08:32.000 It gives you energy.

03:08:34.000 It makes you energized.

03:08:37.000 It does.

03:08:37.000 It's the coolest thing in the world when you're so focused and you're in this thing, like I was with Fast and Loud forever, and then it's gone.

03:08:46.000 You're like...

03:08:47.000 Yeah.

03:08:50.000 What's next?

03:08:51.000 Now let me think.

03:08:52.000 Because before, I couldn't think.

03:08:55.000 You guys had a sizable fan base, too.

03:08:59.000 Do you have a way...

03:09:00.000 Are you using your social media?

03:09:03.000 Like, when did you...

03:09:05.000 Like, what kind of raps did they have on your social media, and when did that...

03:09:08.000 The only thing they had was I couldn't post.

03:09:12.000 But...

03:09:13.000 You couldn't post anything?

03:09:15.000 Gasmicky could.

03:09:15.000 You couldn't post anything?

03:09:16.000 Richard couldn't.

03:09:17.000 At all?

03:09:18.000 No.

03:09:21.000 Wow.

03:09:22.000 Nothing?

03:09:23.000 Not like, hey, I went and got pizza?

03:09:25.000 Nothing?

03:09:26.000 Gas Monkey could. 0.79

03:09:28.000 But Richard couldn't.

03:09:29.000 Oh my god.

03:09:32.000 That's insane.

03:09:33.000 I mean, I couldn't have written a note on a post-it note, a picture of myself, and put it on a telephone pole.

03:09:39.000 They literally came and got me. 0.99

03:09:44.000 That seems so stupid and hurts my feelings. 1.00

03:09:47.000 I know nothing! 1.00

03:09:51.000 So you stayed in touch with fans through Gas Monkey?

03:09:55.000 Yeah, that's our normal thing.

03:09:57.000 When do you plan to have something new rolling out?

03:10:00.000 February.

03:10:01.000 February.

03:10:02.000 Yeah, it's going to be ditching.

03:10:03.000 That's a good time, too, because vaccines will have kicked in for most of the country.

03:10:09.000 Yeah, it's going to be insane.

03:10:10.000 We're going to have a great time.

03:10:12.000 I'm going to have...

03:10:13.000 I can't let the cat out of the bag.

03:10:17.000 Okay, don't say much.

03:10:18.000 But, you know...

03:10:22.000 It's going to be good.

03:10:23.000 Okay.

03:10:23.000 I've got some pretty good plans.

03:10:25.000 Well, I'm looking forward to seeing them.

03:10:27.000 This is a lot of fun, dude.

03:10:29.000 And we're in the same state.

03:10:31.000 How many beers do we polish off?

03:10:32.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Well, that doesn't include the four I had before breakfast.

03:10:39.000 It's a regular Monday.

03:10:40.000 You had four?

03:10:41.000 Yes.

03:10:42.000 Before breakfast?

03:10:43.000 Yes.

03:10:43.000 How do you look so good?

03:10:44.000 You don't look like a haggard alcoholic.

03:10:47.000 Oh, I know.

03:10:48.000 You look really good.

03:10:49.000 I'll tell you the secret, but I have to...

03:10:52.000 Tell me off air.

03:10:54.000 Yeah, off air.

03:10:55.000 It has to do with certain juices on your face all the time.

03:11:02.000 Fill in the blank with your own imagination, ladies and gentlemen.

03:11:07.000 Jamie, what do you got?

03:11:08.000 Juices on the face? 0.90

03:11:09.000 Anything?

03:11:10.000 I'm going to leave that alone.

03:11:11.000 Really?

03:11:13.000 Yeah, well, he drives a Tesla.

03:11:16.000 If you were in the back seat of a freaking 69 Chevelle, you'd be like, I will tell you what that is.

03:11:22.000 What do you have that would win a drag race with him?

03:11:25.000 Zero.

03:11:25.000 You have zero cars that would win.

03:11:27.000 I actually have a top-fueled dragster.

03:11:32.000 That's a little different.

03:11:33.000 That's not legal on the street.

03:11:35.000 It is if you put headlights on it.

03:11:36.000 Can you?

03:11:37.000 Yeah.

03:11:38.000 Can you put a top fuel dragster on the street?

03:11:41.000 Technically, no.

03:11:43.000 But you can put a dragster on the street, full length, as long as it has taillights and turn signals.

03:11:50.000 Oh, really?

03:11:51.000 But it has to pass emissions. 1.00

03:11:52.000 Would those fucking things pass emissions? 0.99

03:11:55.000 We don't have emissions in Texas. 1.00

03:11:56.000 Well, that's a real issue.

03:11:57.000 You gotta get back to the program, sir.

03:11:59.000 You're in Texas now.

03:12:00.000 Okay, California has some things right.

03:12:02.000 You can't just let people blow coal out of the back of their car.

03:12:05.000 Coal is diesel.

03:12:07.000 Yes.

03:12:08.000 No, I'm not diesel.

03:12:10.000 Right, I know.

03:12:11.000 You know what I'm saying.

03:12:12.000 Like, that's emission standards, right?

03:12:15.000 I say you let them do whatever.

03:12:19.000 Because, let me tell you, it's going to suck for our offspring and their offspring, because it's only going to get worse.

03:12:28.000 So, pollute the air?

03:12:30.000 No.

03:12:30.000 Because it's going to suck for them?

03:12:32.000 I'm not saying pollute the air. 0.52

03:12:33.000 I'm just saying there is a line.

03:12:46.000 I like how internal combustion engines becomes an ideology.

03:12:51.000 It's like a religion.

03:12:52.000 It's like Mormonism. 0.98

03:12:54.000 I come from the cult of the diesel engine.

03:12:58.000 You, uh... 1.00

03:13:01.000 I think we have to figure out a way to get the fucking bad shit out of the air. 1.00

03:13:05.000 And that's what I'm hoping. 1.00

03:13:06.000 I'm hoping some super smart egghead type dude is going to figure out how to suck all that bad stuff out of the air.

03:13:12.000 And then we're not going to worry anymore.

03:13:14.000 Yeah.

03:13:15.000 Yeah.

03:13:16.000 And if you think about where we're at in society right now, it will happen.

03:13:23.000 Some guy will say, hey, this is how we confine it.

03:13:26.000 This is how we do it.

03:13:27.000 Yeah.

03:13:47.000 Was that in China they were talking about doing that?

03:13:50.000 Do you remember? 0.99

03:13:51.000 I don't think it'll ever get all the bullshit out of the air. 0.99

03:13:54.000 We're actually spewing it right now. 0.99

03:13:56.000 We are definitely spewing it. 1.00

03:13:58.000 That kind of bullshit will never get out of the air. 1.00

03:14:00.000 It will never go away. 0.99

03:14:02.000 But I think there's a real possibility that they might be able to pull pollution out of the air.

03:14:07.000 Like, definitely.

03:14:09.000 I really do think that.

03:14:11.000 I agree.

03:14:12.000 The carbon in the air, like the excess carbon that we're spitting out...

03:14:16.000 There it is, son.

03:14:18.000 Smog-sucking tower, son. 1.00

03:14:19.000 It looks like it sucks and sucking. 0.99

03:14:21.000 Scientists at the University of Earth Environment. 0.99

03:14:25.000 First of all, the scientists at China's Institute of Earth Environment, those people are probably secretly polluting.

03:14:34.000 It's like a cover story.

03:14:36.000 Are you kidding me?

03:14:37.000 Scientists at China's Institute of Earth Environment have constructed what they say is the world's largest air purifier in the northern city of...

03:14:48.000 You say that, Xion?

03:14:49.000 Is that Xion?

03:14:50.000 And I can't even work my Roomba. 0.95

03:14:54.000 The experimental smog-sucking tower stands over 100 meters tall, 300 fucking feet, and is designed to improve air quality in the city where standards regularly fall short of expectations set by the World Health Organization. 0.99

03:15:09.000 Yeah, but that shit has to be reduced down to something. 0.99

03:15:12.000 And what do they do with it? 0.99

03:15:14.000 But carbon's valuable.

03:15:16.000 See, that's the thing.

03:15:17.000 Carbon itself is a commodity, right?

03:15:19.000 They can make things with carbon. 0.99

03:15:21.000 If they can really pull bullshit out of the air, that bullshit might be valuable. 0.99

03:15:27.000 They just have to figure out a way to make it worthwhile. 1.00

03:15:30.000 And if they can do that, then they can have one of those stupid things like every block... 0.94

03:15:34.000 If that's how we saw blocks, we saw blocks with an air cleaner and everything was perfect, all our issues with how many autoimmune issues have to do with pollution. 0.96

03:15:44.000 They say that living in a big city with a lot of pollution can drop your life expectancy by 10 years. 0.99

03:15:52.000 You don't know about this shit, Richard Rollins. 1.00

03:15:54.000 I don't know shit about this shit. 1.00

03:15:57.000 I mean, you guys that work out and do all this gymnastic shit and fucking go fucking fight, you're worried about it? 1.00

03:16:04.000 That's Jamie. 0.99

03:16:05.000 He's all about gymnastics.

03:16:06.000 He's all about those parallel bars. 0.99

03:16:08.000 Yeah, see, I don't know shit about that. 0.98

03:16:10.000 Jamie's all about tambourine. 0.97

03:16:11.000 I just drink beer and have a good time.

03:16:13.000 Well, you can do that too.

03:16:14.000 I hope for the best.

03:16:15.000 The thing about drinking beer and having a good time is you don't have to do it all day.

03:16:20.000 You can take parts of your day and do other stuff.

03:16:23.000 We've been here for three hours.

03:16:25.000 No, we've been here more than three hours.

03:16:28.000 It's 4.20.

03:16:29.000 What time we've been here for?

03:16:31.000 What is it?

03:16:31.000 4.20?

03:16:31.000 Yes.

03:16:32.000 Woo! 0.99

03:16:33.000 Light it up, son.

03:16:35.000 Yeah, light it up.

03:16:35.000 We've been here for like a year.

03:16:39.000 Close to a year.

03:16:43.000 I don't like it when he whispers in my ears.

03:16:46.000 Podcasts are a weird business, huh?

03:16:48.000 Yeah.

03:16:49.000 Right.

03:16:49.000 Because if we were doing this anywhere where there's like a real producer or an executive or someone who had any self-respect, they would stop this.

03:17:01.000 And they would be like, what are you fucking idiots talking about? 1.00

03:17:07.000 What are you coughing about? 1.00

03:17:13.000 We've done a pretty good job on this bottle.

03:17:14.000 We killed that tequila.

03:17:15.000 No, we haven't killed it yet. 0.99

03:17:17.000 Yeah, but we killed it. 1.00

03:17:18.000 You want to kill it? 1.00

03:17:18.000 It's going to live forever with fucking half its body gone. 1.00

03:17:22.000 It might. 1.00

03:17:22.000 I don't think so. 1.00

03:17:24.000 It might.

03:17:27.000 What were we just talking about?

03:17:29.000 420?

03:17:30.000 How do we get to that?

03:17:31.000 That's pretty much how everything ends at 420. Hey, it's 420. What were we just talking about?

03:17:38.000 What did you just pull up?

03:17:38.000 Flatline.

03:17:41.000 Oh, that's right.

03:17:42.000 Carbon air.

03:17:43.000 Being able to do something with the materials they pull out of the atmosphere.

03:17:47.000 As soon as they can make it valuable, then they'll clean the air up.

03:17:49.000 And then there'll be no dirty cities anywhere.

03:17:53.000 I agree.

03:17:53.000 That's totally possible.

03:17:54.000 I agree. 0.99

03:17:55.000 Smart enough people recognize all that shit that's ruining everything. 0.99

03:17:59.000 You can figure out a way to economically process it where it makes sense you can make money. 0.99

03:18:05.000 Do you know what the worst juxtaposition in the entire United States is right now?

03:18:10.000 What?

03:18:11.000 They outlawed, or they actually didn't outlaw.

03:18:17.000 They said it's approved for drugs in Oregon.

03:18:22.000 Right, everything.

03:18:24.000 You can literally walk around with some cocaine in your pocket.

03:18:26.000 Yeah.

03:18:27.000 But straws are illegal.

03:18:29.000 Yes. 0.99

03:18:30.000 That's a fucked up situation. 1.00

03:18:31.000 It is a fucked up situation. 1.00

03:18:33.000 I wonder how many people in Oregon grew the long pinky nail just to deal with the bullshit. 1.00

03:18:40.000 I know, but why would you... 1.00

03:18:42.000 Can't you do coke with a dollar bill? 1.00

03:18:44.000 Why do you need a fucking straw? 1.00

03:18:45.000 Are you so selfish about your coke use, you want to kill a seal? 1.00

03:18:48.000 If you're a fucking baller, you do it with a hondo. 1.00

03:18:51.000 Oh, right. 1.00

03:18:52.000 Didn't they say that some crazy percentage of $100 billows have coke on them?

03:18:58.000 Oh, all of them.

03:19:00.000 Yeah.

03:19:00.000 Like, all of them.

03:19:02.000 Everything that's been in circulation.

03:19:04.000 Yeah.

03:19:09.000 90% of U.S. bills carry traces of cocaine.

03:19:14.000 100% of bills from a few large urban areas tested positive.

03:19:18.000 100%!

03:19:20.000 Realize if you could recycle bills in America.

03:19:25.000 There's something cool about cash.

03:19:26.000 You put them in a shaker and it comes all down.

03:19:28.000 I'm a fan of cash.

03:19:30.000 Not just because it's like a piece of paper and you get things for the piece of paper, but also because it passes around.

03:19:37.000 Like if you're holding on to a $20 bill, how many people had that bill before you?

03:19:41.000 It's not just you.

03:19:43.000 It's in circulation.

03:19:45.000 That term, circulation, is real.

03:19:47.000 It's interesting.

03:19:48.000 I'm a big cash guy because I carry cash to all my buys.

03:19:53.000 It makes people change their mind, right?

03:19:55.000 They look at it.

03:19:56.000 Oh, yeah.

03:19:56.000 You can change a guy's mind.

03:19:58.000 I need five grand.

03:19:59.000 You're like, I'll give you $3,500 cash.

03:20:01.000 You open up that box.

03:20:03.000 Boom.

03:20:05.000 It's like when Vin Rames opened up that suitcase in Pulp Fiction.

03:20:10.000 Yep.

03:20:11.000 And Bruce Willis got to look at it.

03:20:13.000 Remember that?

03:20:13.000 Yeah.

03:20:14.000 Show that, Jamie. 1.00

03:20:15.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

03:20:15.000 Remember that scene? 1.00

03:20:16.000 Vin Rames, when he opened up the suitcase in Pulp Fiction, that's what cash is like.

03:20:20.000 I got popped in Virginia flying, and I was carrying about 500 grand to go buy some Hemi Kootenus.

03:20:32.000 Yeah, this guy had some himicudas and they were very special.

03:20:35.000 And they thought you were a drug dealer?

03:20:36.000 And everything else, yeah. 1.00

03:20:37.000 That is John Travolta opening up the suitcase going, oh shit. 1.00

03:20:42.000 There you go. 1.00

03:20:43.000 Right there. 1.00

03:20:46.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

03:20:47.000 Here, it opens it up. 1.00

03:20:48.000 Click, click, click.

03:20:50.000 Ready?

03:20:51.000 And...

03:20:52.000 Boom.

03:20:53.000 Whoa. 1.00

03:20:54.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

03:20:55.000 We got some money in here. 1.00

03:20:56.000 So I got Pop carrying 500 grand.

03:20:58.000 They never said what it is.

03:20:59.000 You know that, right? 1.00

03:21:00.000 Oh, that's bullshit. 1.00

03:21:00.000 It's assumed what that is. 1.00

03:21:02.000 No, it's not SpongeBob.

03:21:03.000 I'm sorry, buddy.

03:21:03.000 No, no, they never showed it.

03:21:04.000 Yeah.

03:21:05.000 No.

03:21:05.000 Didn't you show it to Bruce Willis, too?

03:21:07.000 Didn't Ving Rhames show it to Bruce Willis?

03:21:09.000 Yeah, I think it's supposedly...

03:21:10.000 It's like, well, it's a movie trope thing.

03:21:11.000 It doesn't matter what it is, but...

03:21:13.000 I'm sorry.

03:21:14.000 Go ahead.

03:21:15.000 Oh, don't worry about it. 0.99

03:21:16.000 Anyways, I'm carrying 500 fucking jeans. 0.99

03:21:18.000 $500,000 in cash. 0.99

03:21:20.000 In a backpack.

03:21:21.000 This guy's thrown in.

03:21:23.000 And they were like, what are you doing?

03:21:25.000 You know, they took me into the room.

03:21:27.000 They had the whole freaking...

03:21:28.000 What year is this?

03:21:30.000 This was like, oh, eight-ish. 1.00

03:21:32.000 Just take him to fucking... 1.00

03:21:34.000 They took me in the room and I said, look, it's not illegal to carry money in America. 0.99

03:21:39.000 And here's what I'm going to buy.

03:21:41.000 And I showed them pictures of the car and titles of the cars.

03:21:44.000 You know, because I was buying like three.

03:21:46.000 And I missed my flight. 0.99

03:21:50.000 I had to take a flight two hours later, but they fucked with me for a while. 1.00

03:21:53.000 How long did they fuck with you for? 1.00

03:21:55.000 Like three hours. 1.00

03:21:56.000 So they just want to make sure you're not buying drugs.

03:22:00.000 I guess.

03:22:01.000 Yeah.

03:22:01.000 I was buying Hemikudas, which is a drug in our world.

03:22:07.000 It's the best drug.

03:22:09.000 It's a good drug.

03:22:10.000 It's a good drug.

03:22:10.000 But it's a weird thing where you can only have like so much.

03:22:14.000 Like you could show up with like, what is it, like 10 grand? 1.00

03:22:16.000 They can't fuck with you. 0.99

03:22:17.000 Like if you deposit more than 10 grand in the bank, they're like, what are you doing? 1.00

03:22:21.000 Yeah, they got a record for that.

03:22:23.000 And then traveling out of the country, 10 grand.

03:22:27.000 Or into the country, 10 grand.

03:22:28.000 What if you're a baller?

03:22:31.000 What if you're one of those dudes with, like, diamond teeth? 0.99

03:22:34.000 Who just, like, everywhere you go, you got a fucking Gucci bag filled with cash. 0.99

03:22:38.000 I don't know. 0.98

03:22:39.000 I guess you fly in private, but I was flying home from London one time, and the night before, I won a bunch of money at the casino there in Leicester Square.

03:22:50.000 I forget what that casino's called, but it's been on a bazillion movies.

03:22:54.000 And I won a bunch.

03:22:56.000 And then I got there, and I cashed it in, and I had, I don't know, $20,000 or $30,000.

03:23:03.000 And...

03:23:05.000 They were like, do you have more than $10,000 to declare?

03:23:07.000 And I was like, no.

03:23:08.000 And they went, yeah, you go down that line.

03:23:11.000 So then they sent me down the bad line. 0.99

03:23:13.000 I'm going to get fucking searched. 1.00

03:23:15.000 And I'm like, shit. 1.00

03:23:18.000 Now they know you're a liar. 1.00

03:23:20.000 Yeah, and then that guy was kind of cool. 0.96

03:23:23.000 He goes, oh, cool, you're Richard.

03:23:24.000 You know, whatever.

03:23:25.000 Oh, he knew you.

03:23:26.000 What do you do if they catch you?

03:23:29.000 They can take it.

03:23:30.000 Oh, no.

03:23:31.000 Yeah, they can just take it.

03:23:33.000 Now you may or may not get it.

03:23:36.000 There was a real issue with cops pulling people over who were on their way to buy something with cash.

03:23:41.000 The South, in particular.

03:23:43.000 Was it North Carolina or South Carolina?

03:23:45.000 There was a real issue with this.

03:23:47.000 Where they had seized millions and millions of dollars of people's cash and items.

03:23:52.000 In South Carolina, there's nothing else to do.

03:23:55.000 It was almost impossible for the people to get it back.

03:23:58.000 They had to go to war to get it back.

03:24:00.000 I believe they just changed the law really recently.

03:24:05.000 What?

03:24:09.000 I don't even know if this is accurate.

03:24:13.000 I was looking up cash seizures.

03:24:16.000 Oklahoma, this is 2017, it says, Oklahoma district attorneys were awarded more than $6.2 million in cash, up from the $3.1 million the year before, believed to be involved in the drug trade that was seized by law enforcement.

03:24:28.000 So they gave it to the DAs, I believe is what this is saying.

03:24:32.000 So they gave the cash to the DA. The seized drug money.

03:24:35.000 That's crazy.

03:24:36.000 So then they don't have to account for how they made the seized drug money.

03:24:40.000 They just take that money from drug dealing and they apply it to the police force.

03:24:45.000 Which makes the police force more incentivized to go after drug dealers.

03:24:50.000 It's hilarious.

03:24:52.000 That was one of the things about whatever the law was, whether it was North Carolina or South Carolina, where these cops would pull people over and take their stuff.

03:25:03.000 I forget what the law is.

03:25:04.000 It's a famous law.

03:25:06.000 But whatever it was, they would keep most of the money.

03:25:11.000 So they were incentivized to see a guy like you on your way to buy some Hemis.

03:25:16.000 I do not carry drugs.

03:25:17.000 No, you don't have to.

03:25:18.000 You just have cash.

03:25:20.000 You just have cash.

03:25:21.000 You have to prove that you got that cash in a legitimate manner before they give it back to you.

03:25:27.000 Search and seizure.

03:25:28.000 I think those are the rules.

03:25:30.000 It's a seizure law, but I mean, they have them everywhere.

03:25:32.000 I don't know.

03:25:33.000 But those were particularly egregious.

03:25:33.000 That's why I don't carry cash in.

03:25:35.000 No cash.

03:25:37.000 Do you hear about the guy who had- I barely have like five grand on me right now. 0.99

03:25:42.000 Some dude had pounds of gold up his ass. 0.99

03:25:45.000 Did you hear about that guy? 1.00

03:25:46.000 You can't have a pound of gold in your ass. 1.00

03:25:48.000 I can. 1.00

03:25:48.000 I think he had two pounds of gold in his ass. 1.00

03:25:50.000 No fucking way. 1.00

03:25:52.000 Bro, just because your ass is weak doesn't mean... 1.00

03:25:54.000 No, right? 1.00

03:25:56.000 I cannot take two pounds of gold. 0.98

03:26:01.000 Airport staff notices a man walking strangely, then finds over two pounds of gold in his rectum.

03:26:07.000 The man was reportedly trying to avoid paying an 18% tax on gold. 0.99

03:26:13.000 Pull those bitches up, Jamie. 1.00

03:26:15.000 Look at those things and imagine them in your asshole. 1.00

03:26:18.000 That hurts. 1.00

03:26:20.000 That's heavy.

03:26:21.000 That's a lot of gold. 1.00

03:26:23.000 That's a giant gold dick in your ass. 1.00

03:26:26.000 I've never had a two pound shit. 1.00

03:26:27.000 I mean, I would like to say I have. 1.00

03:26:30.000 When I used to wrestle and we used to cut weight, people would try to take a shit. 0.99

03:26:35.000 But what you don't realize is shit doesn't weigh that much. 1.00

03:26:38.000 What weighs a lot is urine. 1.00

03:26:39.000 Like if you have to pee or spit.

03:26:41.000 Well, that's 8.6 per gallon. 1.00

03:26:45.000 Your shit is lighter than you'd hope it is. 1.00

03:26:47.000 Yeah, no. 1.00

03:26:48.000 8.6 ounces per gallon.

03:26:53.000 I don't know.

03:26:53.000 We've already done terrible math all show long.

03:26:56.000 Somebody else in the same flight had twice as much as that guy on the top.

03:26:59.000 It doesn't say where that was concealed.

03:27:01.000 I'm actually starting to get loaded enough that I'm looking for the guy that's talking to me. 1.00

03:27:06.000 There's four pounds in his ass? 0.99

03:27:08.000 It didn't say where that was. 1.00

03:27:09.000 Four pounds?

03:27:09.000 That guy would probably walk off two pounds.

03:27:11.000 I can't even finger my own ass and get four pounds for this shit. 1.00

03:27:15.000 That's fucking wrong. 1.00

03:27:16.000 Look at that. 0.99

03:27:18.000 Whoa! 0.71

03:27:19.000 That's a lot of gold, son.

03:27:22.000 2.14 pounds.

03:27:25.000 So, you gotta think the dude who got busted with four pounds?

03:27:29.000 2.4 pounds is only 6,000 bucks?

03:27:33.000 No.

03:27:35.000 2.4 pounds?

03:27:36.000 Everything that you think of, Richard, just add like a 10 or a 100 to it.

03:27:41.000 Yeah, I know.

03:27:41.000 I get my comments and zeros mixed up.

03:27:43.000 Yeah, you gotta multiply.

03:27:45.000 You gotta add to what you think it is. 1.00

03:27:47.000 That's a lot of gold in your asshole. 1.00

03:27:49.000 That's very impressive. 1.00

03:27:50.000 I don't care what anybody says. 1.00

03:27:51.000 There's nothing wrong with a gold asshole. 0.99

03:27:53.000 I don't think that's what we're talking about. 1.00

03:27:57.000 I'm talking about smugglers.

03:27:59.000 You ever see someone get busted with coke and go in the wrong life with the wrong situation?

03:28:03.000 That could have been me.

03:28:06.000 Could have been me.

03:28:07.000 We'll just leave it there.

03:28:09.000 We'll just leave it there.

03:28:10.000 So it happened recently and a couple years ago?

03:28:13.000 Three years ago, same story.

03:28:14.000 Walking with difficulty, appearing to be in pain.

03:28:17.000 Also in India. 1.00

03:28:18.000 Oh yeah, that's where they look for gold in your asshole. 1.00

03:28:21.000 India. 1.00

03:28:26.000 $1,500 fine and you get to keep his shitty gold? 0.99

03:28:30.000 I don't know if they get to keep it. 0.98

03:28:33.000 Imagine they take all your gold and they charge you $1,500, or you go to jail forever. 1.00

03:28:39.000 Fuck off. 1.00

03:28:40.000 Fuck off, gold dick boy. 1.00

03:28:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:28:43.000 Oh, this guy had different...

03:28:44.000 He had three...

03:28:45.000 It said gold biscuits. 0.99

03:28:46.000 This guy's shitting gold. 0.99

03:28:47.000 Gold biscuits. 1.00

03:28:48.000 Shaped like biscuits?

03:28:49.000 Jewelry.

03:28:50.000 Like if you had a little kid's bakery kit?

03:28:53.000 You're pretending you're making biscuits?

03:28:54.000 I'm looking for a picture of it.

03:28:55.000 Gold biscuits. 0.99

03:28:56.000 What the fuck's a gold biscuit? 1.00

03:28:58.000 Oh my god, it is. 1.00

03:28:59.000 He had all that stuff up his ass? 1.00

03:29:00.000 Those are the biscuits, maybe. 1.00

03:29:02.000 Whoa, what are those?

03:29:03.000 It's all wrapped in plastic.

03:29:03.000 Look how brown they are.

03:29:04.000 Oh, plastic. 1.00

03:29:06.000 Wrapped in plastic and shoved up his ass. 1.00

03:29:09.000 Somebody had to make a deal with him. 1.00

03:29:10.000 It was like, the plastic will be extra space. 1.00

03:29:12.000 Shut up! 1.00

03:29:13.000 Shut up and wrap my gold with plastic, you piece of shit. 1.00

03:29:17.000 You know, I don't want your asshole to ever come in direct contact with my gold. 1.00

03:29:20.000 I can't scrub that off. 1.00

03:29:22.000 You can't. 1.00

03:29:23.000 How many guys do you think every year go through airport security with gold up their ass? 1.00

03:29:29.000 A hundred? 0.99

03:29:30.000 All over the world?

03:29:31.000 I would say thousands.

03:29:33.000 Not this year, right?

03:29:35.000 Because we've got to have the COVID exemption. 1.00

03:29:38.000 But under a healthy year, I bet a hundred people go through the border with gold up their asshole. 1.00

03:29:42.000 I got one with 140k of gold up his ass in 2016. How much does that weigh? 1.00

03:29:48.000 140k would have to weigh like 60 pounds.

03:29:51.000 How much does that weigh?

03:29:53.000 It would have to weigh like 60 pounds.

03:29:55.000 Okay, so back off and make it 6 pounds, right?

03:29:57.000 Because he's always off by a factor of 10?

03:30:00.000 No.

03:30:02.000 Yes.

03:30:04.000 Ounce of gold.

03:30:05.000 Yes.

03:30:07.000 60 pounds is insane! 1.00

03:30:09.000 That would be a bowling ball-sized log of gold in your asshole. 1.00

03:30:16.000 Royal Canadian Mint employee allegedly smuggled over $100,000 worth of gold. 1.00

03:30:22.000 They found a tub of Vaseline in his locker at work. 1.00

03:30:32.000 Go back to the fucking... 1.00

03:30:33.000 Go back up there. 1.00

03:30:36.000 A tub of Vaseline?

03:30:37.000 So he worked at the Mint? 1.00

03:30:38.000 So this guy was around gold all the time, and he probably started stretching his asshole. 1.00

03:30:42.000 Right? 1.00

03:30:43.000 At work.

03:30:43.000 A locker.

03:30:44.000 He had a locker at work.

03:30:45.000 You seem so close right now when you're talking about that.

03:30:49.000 He smuggled a hundred...

03:30:50.000 What is a hundred thousand...

03:30:52.000 Is that pounds?

03:30:53.000 Yeah.

03:30:54.000 Is that what that is?

03:30:55.000 I can never tell the difference between euros and pounds.

03:30:57.000 What's the difference in the...

03:30:58.000 It's Canadian.

03:30:59.000 This article is from the UK, so they had to translate it for...

03:31:03.000 Oh, okay.

03:31:04.000 Canadian.

03:31:05.000 It's $140,000 worth of gold.

03:31:07.000 Oh my god, that's so crazy.

03:31:09.000 How many pounds is that?

03:31:11.000 Does it say the weight?

03:31:13.000 It might have been like... 0.99

03:31:14.000 It says it inside his rectum. 0.99

03:31:16.000 Hardly knew him. 0.99

03:31:18.000 I feel like it's got to be at a time in the market when gold was at an all-time high or something.

03:31:24.000 It doesn't say the weight.

03:31:26.000 They don't want to tell you the weight because it's not that impressive.

03:31:29.000 Right?

03:31:30.000 Otherwise, they just tell you the way.

03:31:31.000 I think this guy, he didn't get caught at one time.

03:31:35.000 He was doing it on a daily basis.

03:31:38.000 He was on a list. 1.00

03:31:40.000 He was the gold dick up the ass mule. 1.00

03:31:43.000 He was a gold digger. 1.00

03:31:47.000 He's just the guy that made his living shoving things up his ass and making his way across the border. 1.00

03:31:53.000 Hey, trust me. 1.00

03:31:54.000 I shove this up my ass. 1.00

03:31:55.000 I go across the border. 1.00

03:31:56.000 Everything's good.

03:31:57.000 Why does he have to have that accent? 1.00

03:31:58.000 Look, a man's got to do what he's got to do.

03:32:01.000 What if he was Scottish?

03:32:02.000 What if he sounded like Sean Connery?

03:32:04.000 So, hey.

03:32:05.000 Trying to feed my family.

03:32:07.000 Trying to feed the family. 1.00

03:32:08.000 My asshole. 1.00

03:32:10.000 And I keep moving. 1.00

03:32:11.000 That's right.

03:32:12.000 I come across the river.

03:32:14.000 I think we torture these people enough.

03:32:15.000 I think we're around, somewhere around four hours.

03:32:20.000 What's the number, Jamie, right now?

03:32:22.000 Three hours and 30 minutes. 1.00

03:32:23.000 Alright, fuck em. 1.00

03:32:24.000 That's enough. 1.00

03:32:25.000 Should we keep going?

03:32:26.000 No, it's enough.

03:32:27.000 Let's wrap this up.

03:32:27.000 Should we have a shot?

03:32:29.000 Uh, no.

03:32:29.000 No, I'm done.

03:32:30.000 Alright. 1.00

03:32:32.000 Fuckin' sissy. 1.00

03:32:32.000 Thank you. 1.00

03:32:33.000 Yes, thank you.

03:32:34.000 Call me a sissy. 0.97

03:32:35.000 Is it still okay to be a sissy? 0.98

03:32:36.000 It is okay. 0.99

03:32:37.000 Does anybody identify with being a sissy? 0.92

03:32:41.000 I might start doing that. 0.99

03:32:43.000 Self-proclaim sissy.

03:32:44.000 Use it as my profile. 0.63

03:32:46.000 You should.

03:32:47.000 Yeah.

03:32:48.000 It's like, you gotta take the weight off of that word.

03:32:50.000 How is that word still...

03:32:51.000 If someone calls you a sissy, does that sting at all? 0.60

03:32:54.000 No. 0.93

03:32:54.000 That's so ineffective. 0.93

03:32:55.000 No, so you need to grab that.

03:32:57.000 Yeah.

03:32:58.000 That's like a gun that shoots styrofoam.

03:33:00.000 Boink. 1.00

03:33:00.000 Like, there's nothing. 1.00

03:33:02.000 Like a Nerf gun.

03:33:04.000 Not even.

03:33:05.000 Nerf at least has some weight to it, so it'll fly.

03:33:07.000 But Styrofoam is like nothing.

03:33:10.000 It bonked you in the head with Styrofoam. 1.00

03:33:11.000 Just bonked you in the fucking head. 1.00

03:33:14.000 Richard Rawlings, let us know whenever your new adventure, wherever it lies, whenever it comes out, let us know. 1.00

03:33:24.000 It's going to be pretty cool.

03:33:25.000 I hate to use the term F-disco, but...

03:33:29.000 Listen, they're good people.

03:33:31.000 They're in a bad business.

03:33:34.000 No, I just hate disco music.

03:33:36.000 What are you talking about?

03:33:36.000 I like disco.

03:33:37.000 Are you kidding me?

03:33:40.000 I wish we could play some Bee Gees right now.

03:33:42.000 Stayin' Alive.

03:33:43.000 It's legit.

03:33:44.000 Stayin' Alive.

03:33:45.000 It's legit.

03:33:48.000 Stayin' Alive.

03:33:48.000 I know.

03:33:49.000 You want to mock it.

03:33:50.000 You want to mock me.

03:33:51.000 I'm telling you.

03:33:51.000 No, I'm telling you.

03:33:52.000 Stayin' Alive is the best disco music ever.

03:33:55.000 If you're alone and you're not trying to impress anybody and it comes on the radio and you're in the right mood, it's a great song to hear.

03:34:01.000 Sometimes I jerk off too.

03:34:08.000 There's a lot of good songs, bro. 0.73

03:34:10.000 The Bee Gees, More Than A Woman, come on. 1.00

03:34:12.000 They had some good fucking songs. 0.99

03:34:14.000 Give me a little bit. 1.00

03:34:18.000 Come on, man. 1.00

03:34:19.000 Listen to this shit. 1.00

03:34:21.000 That's it, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00

03:34:22.000 Goodbye.

03:34:23.000 Thank you for tuning into the program. 0.99

03:34:25.000 Richard Rawlings, do you have your fucking social media back? 0.99

03:34:28.000 Did you get it back from those pirates? 1.00

03:34:29.000 I got it.

03:34:31.000 You got it.

03:34:31.000 Everything in my world is good, sir.

03:34:33.000 How do people find you?

03:34:37.000 Gasmonkeygarage.com.

03:34:38.000 Info at gasmonkeygarage.com.

03:34:40.000 Richard at gasmonkeygarage.com.

03:34:42.000 Joe Rogan is not Richard Rawlings at gasmonkeygarage.com.

03:34:50.000 Thank you, sir.

03:34:51.000 Always a pleasure.

03:34:52.000 Thank you for coming.

03:34:53.000 I had a great time.

03:34:54.000 Appreciate you.

03:34:55.000 Appreciate you, and I look forward to whatever you do.

03:34:57.000 Goodbye, everybody.

03:34:58.000 See you!

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 15, 2020

Joe Rogan Experience #1578 - Richard Rawlings

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