In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, I sit down with my brother Salud and talk about his time at The Comedy Store. We talk about what it was like to be a comedian at the Comedy Store, and how he got passed over for a job at a sketch comedy club. We also talk about how he was able to get his first job at the comedy club, and what it took for him to get the job he had been dreaming of for a long time. I hope you enjoy this episode, it's a must listen. Joe Rogans Experience is a podcast about comedy and stand-up comedy in general. Please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to stay up to date with the latest episodes of the show and stay connected with us on social media! You can also support the show by becoming a patron patron by using the patron code: JOGANEXPERIENCY at checkout and get 10% off the first month with code JOEROGANEVERYTHING at checkout. Thank you so much for supporting the show, it means the world to me and I can't wait to do it again! - Thank you. - Salud, my brother! xoxo - "Joe Rogan Show" - "The Joes Experience" - "The Comedy Store" - by: Salud , & Showing you guys some love and support us in the future episodes of JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE - "the Joes Podcast . Joes - "Joes Experience Podcast, and "the Comedy Store Podcast" - Joes podcast, "the comedy store" - the podcast. , "the place where it's all about Joes and his life, the place where he does it all, Joes & I do it all! , Joes' Experience . . , and much more! - "joerogans Experience" we hope you like it! .Joes and I talk about the Joes is a little bit more... with his life and his journey through comedy and his stand up podcast, and we talk about it all. Joes + I hope he has a lot of other stuff! - I hope that you enjoy it! - Jos and I have a great day! (joe Rogans podcast show
00:04:19.000I would go up, I would start coming back, and I went up and everything like that, and I would kill every fucking time during the open mic and during the friends and family part.
00:04:31.000I got frustrated because all my friends were getting passed, and I was like, man, I'm funny as fuck, too.
00:06:38.000They'd be like, oh, are you going to bring 15 people?
00:06:40.000I'm like, yeah, I'm going to bring 15 people.
00:06:41.000And I show up and I bring nobody, but they would still let me go up.
00:06:45.000And I was like, all right, well, this is what's going to happen.
00:06:47.000You're not going to bring anybody, but what you're going to do is you're going to go up there.
00:06:50.000Explain a bringer show to people because a lot of people don't know what a bringer show is.
00:06:53.000So a bringer show is like when you're like a younger comic and you want to do shows and stuff, there are promoters who are like, hey, you can do a show here in the belly room, but you have to bring 20 people.
00:08:29.000Out here, our mics are just a gang of comics and shit like that, but out there, real people would go to you guys as open mics and shit like that.
00:08:36.000We would rarely get real people in our little open mics and shit.
00:08:42.000So you're basically practicing for the friends of other comedians.
00:08:48.000It stifles growth, I think, a little bit, those bringer shows, because you don't get a real audience.
00:08:53.000Yeah, you get your grandma, and you bring friends who think that you're funny on the street, but they want to see you on the stage, and they'll be like, yo, be funny now.
00:09:57.000And then so I said, alright, my birthday was January 25th, you know, and so I said, well, you know, I always think at the beginning of the year, like, what are you going to do for your birthday?
00:10:07.000You know, and I'm like, alright, you can either go hang out with your family, you can go fuck some hoes at Jeff Ross' house, Or you could take care of your little career and go to Austin and do shows for a week.
00:10:22.000And I was like, all right, well, I've done all except for one.
00:10:25.000So I'm going to go to Austin and do shows for a week.
00:10:27.000And I just booked it and I came out here.
00:13:18.000Oh man, I fucking, yeah, so thinking about moving out here, but I was telling them outside, somebody got shot outside of my Airbnb a day ago.
00:13:52.000When you have economic instability, when so many people lost their jobs, they don't know where they're going to make money, people get desperate, and then people get angry, they get evicted, they get forced out of their homes, they lose their jobs, they lose their car, their car gets repossessed,
00:14:15.000That haven't been in their whole life.
00:14:17.000There's people that maybe would be slightly inclined to do something shady, but they got a good job, and they're going to keep on keeping on.
00:14:25.000But then when that job's gone, and then there's no money coming in, people start plotting and scheming, and it's just natural.
00:15:07.000I mean, I may draw and do some art and sell that and stuff.
00:15:10.000He was like, or, and my little brother is in prison, so he's like, or we can get that nigga Chase Social Security number and then type that in and get his unemployment.
00:15:23.000And I was like, nigga, I'm on TV. I can't be here.
00:15:39.000Well, the other thing that was happening with the unemployment was there was a lot of people that if they went back to work, they'd be risking their life.
00:15:46.000But if they just said, no, I'm too scared to go back to work, they still get that unemployment.
00:15:50.000And then you're not working for long periods of time.
00:15:53.000You start to change the way you look at work.
00:17:36.000It says the broadcast performing to patrons in an effort to keep restaurants from becoming overcrowded for sporting events, such as the upcoming Super Bowl.
00:17:44.000First of all, there's no evidence that this virus spreads outside.
00:18:14.000So this idea about them being overcrowded, there's no evidence.
00:18:18.000Here's the thing, because I remember before LA shut down, I remember Saddle Ranch was packed and stuff, but it was outside, but they were packed.
00:18:28.000And I was like, that looks unhealthy too.
00:18:32.000They're outside, but they're still close together.
00:18:35.000And we couldn't do shows right down the street.
00:18:38.000It's because they were about to start doing shows again, but then somebody caught the health department on the Comedy Store, and then that shit shut it down.
00:26:13.000I did a Jack and Jill strip club in Rhode Island.
00:26:16.000That was the weirdest one, because a Jack and Jill strip club is like, there was a time where they tried to have strip clubs where a man performs and a woman performs and couples would go.
00:27:25.000You'd always get paid, but they were always very weird.
00:27:28.000And this one, there was, like I said, like six people in the audience, and the type of people that you would see in an audience that would come to see a guy's strip and a girl's strip were very strange.
00:31:43.000Seeing him, seeing real stand-up, like real and current events shit, talking about all the stuff that's going on in the world right now, it was so good.
00:32:19.000He needs to make the money off of stand-up, because he doesn't, I mean, he makes money off his podcast, you know, but I'm sure he's got a, you know, he's got a large nut.
00:32:27.000And he was complaining on stage about his wife spending money, so I'm sure that's real, too.
00:35:28.000Well, that's part of the showbiz aspect of Hollywood.
00:35:32.000It's like they all wanted to be cast in shows and they wanted to make sure they don't say anything too crazy.
00:35:38.000I know a lot of comics that didn't want to do certain jokes or certain topics even though they thought it was funny because they were worried that a casting agent wouldn't put them in a show or an executive would see it and they would think they'd be too...
00:37:18.000One of the best things that a comic ever told me, even like earlier in life, was like, yo man, the audience comes to hear and see some crazy shit.
00:38:06.000Dude, I remember getting banned from the improv.
00:38:12.000I remember getting banned from the improv because we had this thing called...
00:38:16.000It was me and the guys I was coming up with, and we all had a showcase.
00:38:20.000It was called maybe Best of the Improv, or New Faces of the Improv, or something like that.
00:38:26.000All my friends were honored and stuff, and You know, everybody, you know, everybody is kind of like straight edge, kind of like, you know, clean and shit like that.
00:38:34.000And then I would have to go up last and I was getting frustrated in the back and I was forgetting my jokes.
00:38:40.000And so when I, when I forget and I just say, fuck it.
00:38:45.000I think I talked about, um, I think I talked about like, like, you know, like I had a joke about like my grandma, uh, making me, uh, smell her pussy when I got bad grades.
00:39:19.000She was up there like, so we had to do, oh, and by the way, I ended that set by saying, fuck y'all and goodnight, and I tried I don't know what the fuck came over to me, but I was like, oh, bro, I think that that's just your spirit taking over.
00:40:03.000She had everybody sitting down, and I kind of come in a little late, and she was just sitting on the stage talking, like, talking to all the comics.
00:40:11.000I ain't never seen this shit in my life.
00:40:12.000So she was giving people their reviews.
00:41:18.000The audience has to have trust in you for you to joke about your grandmother's smelly pussy and how you have to smell it if you have bad grades.
00:41:28.000Yeah, but it's making me laugh right now.
00:41:31.000And the fuck part about that shit is that, like, if I'm in a joke, like, if I'm in a joke, I don't care at what level of comedy I was ever at, if I'm in it, I'm gonna do the whole fucking thing, whether I'm bombing or not.
00:41:43.000Like, the whole act out, like, I'll put the whole story and that shit and everything.
00:41:47.000I don't give a fuck if it's quiet at the end.
00:41:57.000How did you get involved in doing the roast battle shit?
00:42:01.000Because when you guys would do, when it was you and Jeremiah and Willie, and you guys would act out, when someone would kill somebody with a roast, you guys would pile onto the stage and act out various scenarios,
00:42:45.000But I feel like a show like that, where you're constantly spouting these insults and shit like that, and a lot of them are really fucking dark, you need a palate cleanser.
00:42:57.000Yeah, so at the beginning, like, when they first start, like, the origins of it and shit, when they first start, like, me, Willie, and Jeremiah, we'd be sitting, like, just watching these motherfuckers, like, just talk shit about each other.
00:43:07.000And I naturally have a big laugh and whatever.
00:43:11.000It's damn near over-exaggerated and shit.
00:43:13.000And then so Jeremiah and we all, like, would start watching it.
00:43:46.000And so then it would get like really fucking elaborate.
00:43:49.000We would do like costumes and shit like that.
00:43:51.000But it all started from just over laughing and just like trying to just fuck around and kind of troll the fucking battlers kind of sort of and the whole thing or whatever.
00:46:18.000Like I came to the store in 2014 and one of the things, I came back to the store, one of the things that brought me back, the big thing that brought me back was Ari because Ari was filming a special there the next day and I had to go.
00:47:07.000And the dope, one of the dopest things about that, and it made me really appreciate what we get to do, you know, is I remember a time we went to JFL to do it live.
00:47:23.000And I was sitting there and I was getting kind of nervous about the show because this was a live show.
00:47:29.000They were going to do it live for Comedy Central.
00:47:31.000And I was like, I was a little nervous about the show, like in my hotel room.
00:47:34.000And I was like, bro, I was telling myself, I was like, man, you need to chill out.
00:47:38.000And I said, what you need to do, get those red pants, get that wig and go up there and dance like James Brown.
00:47:55.000I don't know whose battle it was, but I don't know if you ever got it or whatever, but it's me up there dancing like James Brown and shit like that or whatever.
00:48:53.000Anybody who doesn't get that, it's one of the best parts.
00:48:55.000I remember there was one where somebody got somebody.
00:48:58.000I forget what happened, but you guys came out with, what are those things that pop out of cans that look like worms and Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:50:07.000I used to drop in on Tuesday nights just to watch, just to see some chaos and just see some creativity and some young comics just getting after it.
00:50:24.000But then I had to stop doing that because I don't like the idea of thinking about somebody for two whole fucking weeks and stuff like that.
00:52:15.000Some guy brought it up that he was going to start it back up out here and he was like, I would love for you to do the wave and I was like, I don't do the wave anymore, kid.
00:57:37.000I was 34, so I was like, and I was going to do the Golden Gloves because I was 34, and the cutoff to do it is 35. And one of the main reasons I wanted to do it, because I heard that...
00:57:52.000I heard that Eddie Murphy had done it.
00:57:54.000Eddie Murphy fought in the Golden Gloves?
00:57:56.000Or Silver Gloves or some shit like that.
00:58:07.000I was with Charlie Murphy, we were on tour, and I was with Maury Smith, who was UFC heavyweight champion, and Ivan Salivari, who was one of the top fighters in the UFC. And we had done a show together, and then me and Charlie did a show together, and then we all went out to eat, and these guys came out to see me.
00:58:23.000So afterwards, we're all eating dinner, and I think Brian Redband had the photo of this conversation on his Instagram, and I think he sent it to me, and I might have put it on my Instagram or my Twitter.
01:05:37.000We went down to the comedy store to film that...
01:05:39.000There was one last night where they filmed that...
01:05:45.000The Comedy Store documentary, and it was Whitney Cummings, and me, and Andy Letterman, and Bill Burr, and Paul Rodriguez, and Jay Leno, and we were all up on the roof, and man, it was sad as fuck.
01:05:56.000The Comedy Store was abandoned, and dudes were racing down Sunset, because there was no one there.
01:06:00.000So there was like, you know how they have a lot of those dudes with real money, like live in Beverly Hills, and they have Lamborghinis, and we'd always see them on Sunset.
01:06:50.000I think they lost 75% of their restaurants.
01:06:53.000Who knows what percentage of bars and small businesses, but John Terzarian and Craig from Craig's, the restaurant in LA, they were on the podcast, they were telling me the actual numbers.
01:07:52.000And then when the crazy lady died, the comedians had already made it so profitable.
01:07:57.000And it was a real fortunate turn of events that, like, I came back in 2014 and Mitzi died shortly thereafter.
01:08:04.000And it was like, the way everything rolled out, it was the show, the place had become so profitable they didn't want to fuck anything up.
01:08:11.000So it's not like they could have brought a business person in there and started doing it in a way that they would do like a road club where you had a headliner and a middle and an opening act and...
01:08:52.000If you're a murderer, you're coming into town and you're going to sell out every show in advance and everybody knows, you make the lion's share of the money and they make the bar.
01:10:06.000They think about some of the things that Diaz has done on stage or Theo's done on stage or you have done on stage or all the wild people at the store have done on stage.
01:10:14.000The only way to find out if that's gonna work is let them try it.
01:13:59.000How many times have, let's just not say Uber, just say rideshares, Lyft, Uber, how many times have women been sexually assaulted by their rideshare drivers?
01:14:09.000Or even the guy who's in the Uber pool next to you, like, damn.
01:14:12.000I remember I read a story about this woman.
01:14:14.000She got an Uber and the Uber driver was taking her in a weird path and then parked under a bridge.
01:14:20.000And she was like, what in the fuck is happening?
01:14:23.000She called 911, jumped out of the car, but the dude took off.
01:15:13.000Well, if girls are drunk and it's closing time and they're getting a ride home and they start vibing with the driver, the next thing you know...
01:15:53.000It says, but drivers especially, Ralph, are the 19% of Uber drivers and 30% of Lyft drivers who are women are often reported being groped by passengers.
01:16:01.000Okay, yeah, that's a different animal.
01:16:52.000Yeah, somewhere around there, 91, 92. And there was a rash of cab driver murders where they would, people would pick up cabs and say, hey, you know, take me to Queens and then shoot the cab driver and take all their money.
01:17:06.000Because a lot of these, there was gypsy cab drivers.
01:17:08.000And gypsy cab drivers are essentially like, they didn't have a license.
01:17:11.000And so a lot of it was immigrant dudes.
01:17:17.000They didn't have credit card machines.
01:17:19.000So if you got a guy at 2 o'clock in the morning and that guy had been on his shift since 6 p.m., you knew that dude had a lot of money on him.
01:17:27.000And so they were murdering gypsy cab drivers at a crazy rate.
01:19:46.000Isn't there a thing where, maybe I heard it in a rap song, but people are putting drugs in the backseat of an Uber and taking it to a location, sending it to a certain location?
01:21:18.000It's like, listen, if you get a restaurant to deliver your food straight from the restaurant, the benefit is the restaurant doesn't lose all that money.
01:21:26.000And one of the things that John Terzian and Craig were saying when they were on the podcast was like, they have a margin of profit.
01:21:35.000So that means that they need to make more than that in order to have any profit, right?
01:21:41.000With the amount of expenses it costs to make the food and hire the staff and pay for the space that they work in.
01:21:48.000Well, when you do Uber Eats, you lose money.
01:21:51.000So when these restaurants are selling food through Uber Eats and through DoorDash, they're losing money because it costs more for them to make the food and then have it delivered.
01:22:03.000But they're just trying to keep their customer base.
01:22:25.000But if you could have the food delivered by the restaurant itself, you can call the restaurant.
01:22:31.000If they have delivery, it's way better for the restaurant.
01:22:33.000It's way better for the consumer because you're building a relationship with the people that run the restaurant and a lot of times it's actually the servers.
01:22:41.000Like at Craig's, the servers themselves have been delivering food for people because they have very valuable customers.
01:22:48.000Maybe they've been coming to that restaurant for years and they'll deliver your, you know, you order some chicken parmesan, they'll deliver it.
01:23:45.000It's like a really high-end electrical scooter.
01:23:47.000You give it a little bit of a push, like it's just sitting there, but if you just give it a little bit of a push, it takes off, man.
01:23:55.000You can control the speed and everything like that, and it's got brakes, but...
01:23:58.000So my daughter used that, and then she went and rented one of the scooters that they had in downtown Austin, and this is this janky, rickety fucking thing that had been beaten up, and they had been jumping over cones with it,
01:24:14.000and it's like, oh my god, this thing is barely hanging on.
01:24:17.000No one's running around there and torquing down all the bolts and making sure that everything's in alignment.
01:24:59.000I don't know what the company's doing it, but there's apps where they leave cars laying around for you, and you could use your app, and your app will unlock the car, and you could just drive the car.
01:25:32.000So he would get in his car, he'd have to blow on the tube, it would register, it would take a little bit of time, and then it would give him a green light, and then he could drive off.
01:34:04.000How much of that memory deteriorating is because of just the sheer amount of information that I have in my head?
01:34:12.000I don't think people are supposed to be talking to people four or five days a week, three hours at a time, about science and psychology and history and all the different things that I'm doing.
01:35:08.000Well, what it does, what it's been clinically shown, this is Blackberry Lemonade.
01:35:16.000What it's been shown to do, they had two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies from the Boston Center for Memory, and it showed that it increased your verbal memory, meaning your ability to pull up words, your ability to form sentences,
01:35:33.000it increased your I think it was your reaction time, and then the other one was alpha flow state.
01:35:42.000If you go to Onnit.com, you can read all that shit.
01:35:45.000But what it does for me is, for sure, it feels like it makes my brain fire smoother.
01:35:50.000And I don't struggle as much to form sentences.
01:35:53.000I don't struggle as much to pull up words.
01:36:46.000The people that are athletes, they all take vitamins.
01:36:48.000Because you really do feel it over a long period of time.
01:36:51.000You need something, and I take something called Athletic Greens, which is a simple powder, a super greens powder that I mix in a bottle of water, and it's filled with vitamins and nutrients.
01:37:03.000And I also take quercetin and vitamin C and vitamin D. What is that?
01:37:55.000It's not instantaneous results with vitamins, but if you are consistent and you take them over long periods of time, you will have better health.
01:39:25.000I usually have a morning workout and then I eat around 11 o'clock and then around then is when I have my vitamins with my food and then I have it at night again.
01:39:36.000I have a different pack of vitamins that I take at night.
01:40:19.000Say if you want to do a clean and a press, right?
01:40:21.000And if you do this with, say, 70 pounds.
01:40:24.000And if you do it with 70 pounds, and you can do 15. Instead of doing 15 presses, that's like your max when you get to 15. Instead of doing that...
01:41:42.000You could keep going, but you stop at 5. Let it sit a long time for 10 minutes, whatever, and then do another 5. Let it sit, do another 10 minutes, do another 5. And this way, you're going to get a lot of repetitions in.
01:42:01.000Whereas if you just wanted to go straight in a row, you would do ten, and then you would do eight, and then you would do five, and then you would be burnt out.
01:45:46.000Or with, not kettlebells, rather, medicine balls, where they're like slamming them against the wall and slamming them this way against the wall.
01:47:41.000One of the things that I thought of when I moved here, I was like, I need to make a place where everybody's gonna want to come out here, because I don't think we need to be in L.A. We're in L.A. because we all thought we had to be in L.A. Well, I'm from LA, born and raised, and my family and shit's out there, so I'm like, I've never had to leave my family.
01:48:45.000Like, one of the things you realize with COVID, when all these comedy clubs started going under, and all this shit started happening, no one could perform anywhere, like...
01:48:52.000A lot of comics that have potential, especially young people that are just starting out, they're going to drop off the map and they might not ever do it.
01:49:00.000I mean, I think about what would happen to me if I was like six months into comedy and then COVID hit and then there was a whole year where I couldn't do stand-up.
01:51:02.000Yeah, and I was, like, a chronic, like, overthinker, and I think that's one of the reasons why, like, earlier in the years, like, I would, like, you know, like, kind of, like, struggle, kind of, sort of.
01:51:37.000Imagine CBS came along and said, Jamar, you are the perfect look to be the neighbor in this new sitcom with these two gals, and you're going to be their friend, but you got to be clean.
01:51:50.000They told Tim Allen to stop doing stand-up when he was doing Home Improvement.
01:52:01.000Because he stopped doing stand-up for a long fucking time, and I believe I read in an article that he was told to stop doing stand-up because his stand-up was too controversial, which is hilarious.
01:53:54.000I think I found my closer, my new closer.
01:53:58.000But it's one of those things, you need to leave people alone.
01:54:04.000You could come up to a comic and say, hey man, that bit's not popping because people think it's too mean, or maybe you figure out a way to restructure it.
02:01:39.000We would do shit like that all the time.
02:01:41.000I remember I had those green tights back when Dina was green.
02:01:44.000And Kevin Hart, he was one of the judges.
02:01:49.000And then I came out, like somebody hit a joke, and I came out, and I was like, And then he was like, what did y'all tell the black dude he had to do every time somebody hit a joke or whatever?
02:02:14.000So, truth be told, like, I didn't know how to, like, if you want to know, like, origin, origin, origin, I didn't know how to start doing stand-up.
02:02:23.000I've been wanting to do stand-up since I was a kid, but I didn't know how to...
02:02:25.000Wait a minute, you started when you were 17. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:02:27.000But I didn't know how to start, like, um...
02:04:58.000And then it dawned on me, I was like, oh, I was probably disrespecting clown, because he probably thought that that's what I thought a clown was, whatever, people who wear shoes like this, because Doc Martens do kind of look like, you know, clown shoes, whatever.
02:13:48.000And anyway, so I went up there, but they thought that I was about to go be deep and talk about my mother and how she, and I was up there, I was telling jokes as the crack baby.
02:14:02.000And when I was doing that shit, and when I was doing that shit, since I was telling jokes and stuff, instead of doing poetry, whatever, but I was at a poetry lounge, somebody heckled me.
02:14:11.000Yeah, somebody heckled me, because I had a joke, I had a joke, I was like, knock I was like, I can't even do the voice right now, but I was like, knock, knock.
02:14:19.000And then somebody was up there like, bye, nigga.
02:14:24.000Instead of who's there, they was up there like, bye, nigga.
02:18:11.000And so then they realized, these Redditors realized they can do this, so they started dealing with other stocks, like movie theater stocks.
02:18:17.000And so then this app called Robinhood, which is an app, which is, Robinhood is supposed to be, steal from the rich, give to the poor.
02:19:35.000What basically is happening, Jamar, is that all these people forever have been manipulating the stock market and making a shitload of money doing it.
02:20:31.000It's my favorite political talk show because there's a person, Sagar's on the right and Crystal's on the left, but they're both honest and objective and they discuss how fucked up this is and how crazy it is.
02:20:46.000Yeah, so after yesterday, it went on through the stock market.
02:20:50.000Because the shutdown happened, I think people's attention was like, well, if they're going to do that to us, let's take it over the crypto market.
02:20:55.000And so now Dogecoin, which started as a complete joke, has skyrocketed to not a joke anymore.
02:21:02.000It hit an all-time high of almost 10 cents yesterday, but it was so minuscule, you wouldn't have understood why you have millions of shares.
02:22:29.000But it's a situation where Once this genie's out of the bottle, where these regular people have figured out how to manipulate stock markets, and truth be told, I don't know jack shit about stock markets.
02:22:53.000How are you going to stop these intelligent fucking people with plenty of time that are organizing?
02:23:00.000I mean, but you'd have to know how to actually do it, because I was over here like, maybe I should call my brother and tell him he should get in on this.
02:23:30.000I think that's what a lot of people think, but the understanding I have of this GameStop situation is what makes it a little different is that short squeeze situation is where there's contracts, which I think it just happened because the market just closed.
02:23:41.000Because those contracts exist, someone has to buy that contract at the end of the day when the contract comes to When does the market close?
02:28:02.000He said he was going to raise trillions of dollars just doing that.
02:28:05.000And it makes you think, oh, wait a minute, is that possible?
02:28:08.000If that's possible, that sounds like a good way to do it.
02:28:10.000That's a shitty thing they're doing anyway.
02:28:13.000If you're not willing to pay a small portion of it, like a percentage of a cent, if you took a whole cent, let's say they took one penny off of every speculation, you're not willing to pay one cent?
02:31:35.000But my heel, after I hit it, was bouncing off the back of the machine because you go through the bag and the trajectory is, you know, your legs are longer than your arms.
02:32:23.000But I was like, oh, this should be a real thing.
02:32:25.000I said, okay, it's like Street Fighter, but instead of using, like, you know, the Street Fighter people, it's called Murder Mayhem, and then Murder Mayhem USA. So what you do is you actually use all the murderers in U.S. history, and, like, but...
02:33:42.000They believe in kinky videos and violence and stuff, that you get all of it out of your system that way, and you don't actually go and perpetrate it.
02:34:02.000Yeah, on Twitter, where you can't pretend to be the president, but you can watch a dude stick a fucking Q-tip up a dude's ass at the airport.
02:34:42.000What do you do if someone's got diarrhea, and the moment you put it in there, it's like popping the cork off the bottle, and just champagne!
02:34:50.000They're going to hold it for the test.
02:35:26.000There's certainly a possibility that they're trying to undermine society in America by pretending they're doing things here and we start doing it.
02:35:34.000Do you see they're telling you to wear three masks now?
02:35:37.000Some people are saying three masks are 90% effective, but two masks are only 70% effective.
02:36:21.000We're never going to shake hands again.
02:36:22.000This is the same guy, by the way, not to diminish his reputation as a doctor and a person of medicine, because he is a brilliant guy, but he was telling people in the 1980s that everybody was going to die of AIDS. Same guy.
02:36:34.000It's the same guy that thought everyone was going to die from HIV back in the AIDS scare.
02:36:41.000You know, these people, they always fear for the worst.
02:36:45.000Because historically, there have been cases, whether it's the Black Plague or Ebola, there's been cases where a disease comes along that fucking kills everybody.
02:38:06.000It's like a thing that lives in your brain tissue.
02:38:10.000And one of the things they found out was when they used instruments on people with mad cow disease, and then they tried to cook the mad cow disease off, like to sterilize it on these instruments, it didn't work.
02:38:21.000So they would have them at a thousand degree temperature for hours, and the prions would stay alive, which is fucking insane.
02:38:31.000So you could potentially develop this thing that doesn't die.
02:38:42.000So if they're just cremating someone, maybe that's not good enough for the AIDS virus.
02:38:46.000Maybe it's good enough for AIDS virus, but not good enough for mad cow.
02:38:49.000So if someone gets mad cow and they barbecue them and fucking cremate them and then throw them in the ocean, then the fish could get mad cow.
02:39:34.000Remember how crazy people was like at the beginning of COVID when people spraying down fucking their groceries and shit and cleaning them and stuff?
02:41:13.000And then right after that, maybe like a week later, I don't know if it was the COVID, but I came down with something crazy, and I was real fucking weak, and I was sweating in bed, but I could still taste shit.
02:41:27.000Well, that doesn't mean you definitely lose your taste.
02:44:03.000I knew a girl who would see, she would see movies, a girl I was dating, she would see a movie where a dude was shooting up and she'd black out.
02:44:45.000That's what happened to Mitch Hedberg.
02:44:46.000Mitch Hedberg was in the hospital at one point in time because he had been shooting into the same spot and he developed a horrible infection.
02:44:56.000He still has one of my, probably my favorite joke of all time I've ever heard.
02:45:21.000He was one of the best at non sequiturs because he could do a whole hour, but it was like one joke that had nothing to do with the next joke, had nothing to do with the next joke, and he wrote constantly, constantly writing.