The Joe Rogan Experience - November 29, 2011


Joe Rogan Experience #162 -- Daniele Bolelli


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 48 minutes

Words per Minute

197.86197

Word Count

21,501

Sentence Count

1,958

Misogynist Sentences

54

Hate Speech Sentences

64


Summary

In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys are joined by Daniel Bolelli, author of the book "On the Warrior's Path" and "50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know About Religion," to talk about religion and martial arts. They also talk about the new Power Mac, the new MacBook Pro, and some other cool stuff. Joe also talks about his new book, "You're Being Lied To," which is a book about how to get rid of religion and learn how to be a better human being. This episode is sponsored by The Fleshlight, AlphaBrain, a cognitive enhancer, and Numood, a 5HTP supplement that has a time release that gives you the effects of 5-HTP and L-Tryptophan. We are also sponsored by Onnit, the makers of AlphaBrain. If you enter the code "ROGAN" at checkout, you will get 10% off the most popular sex toy for men, the $99.99 O-N-I-T product, the Fleshlight. And if you want to buy it in bulk and try it out, go to Onnit.com, go buy your own stuff in bulk, and I hope it works! and if you don't have the money or don't want to try it, go get it from Onnit... go to ONNIT.COM and get the 10% discount code ROGAN. . Joe Rogans Podcast is brought to you by the folks at Onnit dot com, the best online store in the entire world. and you get 15% off your first purchase. Enjoy! Enjoy & spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! -Joe Rogan Podcast - Cheers, Brian and the boys! -J.R. xoxo - The Rogans' Podcast. -Jon & the Rogans. "The Rogans" -Jon and the Rogan Boys" - The Rogan Crew Jon and the Crew - Jon & the Crew at On The Pod, Mikey and the crew The Conspiracies - Jon Rogan's Podcast, Dan Bolell, Jake, Brian, and the Conspirators, Chris, and the rest of the Crew, Daniel, Dan, and Brian, the guys at Disinfo


Transcript

00:00:02.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.
00:00:05.000 If you go to JoeRogan.com, what is my website?
00:00:08.000 .net.
00:00:09.000 JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
00:00:17.000 We are also sponsored by Onnit.com.
00:00:19.000 That's my laptop in the background.
00:00:22.000 Oopsies.
00:00:23.000 We're also sponsored by Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of AlphaBrain, a cognitive enhancer, and Numood, which is a 5-HTP supplement.
00:00:33.000 It has 5-HTP, and it also has L-Tryptophan, so it has sort of a time release.
00:00:39.000 It gives you the effects longer throughout the day because L-Tryptophan is one of the building blocks of 5-HTP and serotonin.
00:00:48.000 It's a great mood-enhancing supplement.
00:00:52.000 I enjoy it.
00:00:52.000 And as we say with all these things, if you're into nootropics, please go online.
00:00:59.000 Research it.
00:00:59.000 Look into it.
00:01:00.000 There's some interesting stuff.
00:01:01.000 Experiment with it.
00:01:02.000 If you think that our stuff costs too much or you don't have the money or whatever, just steal the recipe.
00:01:08.000 Steal the recipe.
00:01:09.000 Go buy your own stuff in bulk and try it out.
00:01:12.000 And I hope it works.
00:01:13.000 And if you want to buy it from us, go to onnit.com.
00:01:15.000 O-N-N-I-T.com.
00:01:17.000 If you enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10% off that too, son.
00:01:22.000 All right.
00:01:23.000 We've got a serious man here today, ladies and gentlemen, for some serious talk.
00:01:28.000 But he may or may not have smoked the devil's cabbage.
00:01:30.000 So we're going to have a good time.
00:01:32.000 Kick it, Brian.
00:01:36.000 Where's the music?
00:01:38.000 Oh.
00:01:39.000 What did you do?
00:01:41.000 What is this?
00:01:43.000 This is like a remote version of the song?
00:01:47.000 It doesn't go through the speaker for some reason?
00:01:50.000 I forgot to plug that in.
00:01:51.000 We gotta get a new computer, folks.
00:01:54.000 We gotta get a new computer.
00:01:56.000 It's only a few years old, but try running a computer from four years ago with today's operating systems and all this stuff.
00:02:03.000 You notice the difference.
00:02:04.000 You notice a big difference in how fast it works.
00:02:06.000 Especially when you're not just using iPhoto.
00:02:09.000 Yeah.
00:02:09.000 Yeah.
00:02:10.000 For regular stuff, it's almost like they make things more complicated so you actually need a bigger hard drive and a faster processor.
00:02:21.000 But for just web browsing, that's what most people do.
00:02:24.000 It's the most intensive thing most people do.
00:02:26.000 Yeah.
00:02:26.000 I don't think many people are editing podcasts and videos.
00:02:30.000 And this one, this is the old, what's the Power Mac?
00:02:32.000 What's it called?
00:02:33.000 That shit is like the noisiest thing in the whole entire world.
00:02:37.000 It's like, that's supposed to be that top of the line thing, but there's 17 fans on there, and the thing just sounds like it's going to take off.
00:02:42.000 Well, it's not meant for being in the room with sensitive mics and podcasts.
00:02:46.000 It's meant for, you know, some serious work.
00:02:48.000 Yeah.
00:02:50.000 Our friend we have here today, ladies and gentlemen, is a serious author.
00:02:54.000 A man, his name is Daniel Bolelli.
00:02:55.000 Did I say it right?
00:02:56.000 Yep.
00:02:57.000 And he wrote a book about martial arts called On the Warrior's Path and also wrote a book about religion called...
00:03:04.000 What is it?
00:03:05.000 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know Religion.
00:03:08.000 Yeah, and you wrote it for disinformation, so disinfo.com, guys, which I'm a fan of their stuff.
00:03:14.000 I love the You're Being Lied To books.
00:03:17.000 They're great.
00:03:18.000 Really, really awesome stuff, and really great toilet reading.
00:03:23.000 You're like the fifth person who tells me that.
00:03:26.000 Yeah, because you're being lied to is really short paragraphs.
00:03:29.000 If you're healthy, you probably won't get through a whole paragraph in this shit.
00:03:33.000 If you get through a whole paragraph in this shit, you might want to put some broccoli in your diet.
00:03:38.000 But they're good, short pieces.
00:03:42.000 Brian, what the fuck?
00:03:43.000 What the fuck, Brian?
00:03:44.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm...
00:03:46.000 But they're good short pieces that they're really eye-opening and enlightening.
00:03:53.000 So Disinfo, they put out a lot of cool stuff.
00:03:56.000 And so they've gotten behind.
00:03:57.000 I think they put out some of Graham Hancock's stuff too, didn't they?
00:03:59.000 Yeah, that was kind of like the formula for this book too.
00:04:02.000 Their whole idea was I submitted to them this giant book I've been working on, 400 pages long with footnotes, all this stuff about religion.
00:04:10.000 And they were like, Yeah, that's sweet and old, but seriously, can you give us something quick and that funny, weird, that has an impact right away that people, as you put it, can read on the toilet and get on something intense but quick?
00:04:24.000 It's very difficult for people to discipline themselves to read any serious piece of work on anything.
00:04:31.000 When you're just simply stating the facts and documenting things, it's oftentimes a dry read, even though it's fascinating information.
00:04:39.000 So they're really clever in their idea of just, you know, figuring out a way to get it.
00:04:44.000 And then, you know, probably once people read this book, get familiar with your writing, get into you, then maybe they'll dive into, like, some of your more serious stuff, right?
00:04:52.000 Yeah, even serious is a big word, because I had, even in the big book, I had one of the chapters about the existence of God begins with a woman having a screaming orgasm.
00:05:00.000 So, I mean, it can only be so serious, you know?
00:05:03.000 But I guess it was...
00:05:04.000 The idea was, no, let's do something else.
00:05:06.000 They have a series going.
00:05:08.000 The 50 things you're not supposed to know.
00:05:09.000 It works well for them.
00:05:10.000 They want to do something on religion.
00:05:13.000 And initially, because I was so attached to the other project, I was like, ah, screw it.
00:05:16.000 I don't want to do it.
00:05:17.000 When they told me the magic word advance, suddenly I was gone.
00:05:22.000 Yeah, a little money always creases the wheels.
00:05:24.000 I was like, What?
00:05:25.000 You want me to be weird and funny and quick about religion?
00:05:27.000 No problem.
00:05:28.000 No problem.
00:05:29.000 Now, are you from Italy?
00:05:30.000 Yeah.
00:05:31.000 What part of Italy are you from?
00:05:32.000 Milan, which, by the way, I want to apologize to your listeners, because I've been living here, believe it or not, I've been living here 20 years, and when I first moved here, I swear I was speaking almost decent English, but then somebody brought to my attention that many American women like my weird Italian accent.
00:05:48.000 Ah, so you kept it!
00:05:49.000 So I'm like...
00:05:52.000 Yeah, that's a good one to have, man.
00:05:54.000 I'll tell you what, if I talked like you, I'd keep that shit, too.
00:05:56.000 I can understand you.
00:05:57.000 I mean, it's not like you're difficult to understand.
00:06:01.000 You're very clear.
00:06:02.000 You just have a very distinct Italian flavor.
00:06:05.000 It's like reading cursive writing.
00:06:07.000 Exactly!
00:06:08.000 Like cursive, like typing.
00:06:09.000 If you have a typing program, then type in cursive.
00:06:12.000 Yeah.
00:06:12.000 That's how I figure, you know, being understood versus being liked by women.
00:06:16.000 No, I think I take being liked by women.
00:06:18.000 Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun.
00:06:19.000 Yeah, women are like, well, men do too, man.
00:06:21.000 You hear a girl with an English accent, you're like, ooh, listen to that, you know?
00:06:26.000 Australian, English, anything.
00:06:27.000 Yeah.
00:06:29.000 Why is that?
00:06:31.000 Everyone's dissatisfied with what they are.
00:06:33.000 Everyone is looking for something different.
00:06:35.000 Everyone wishes they were someone else.
00:06:36.000 Everyone sees the grass greener.
00:06:38.000 Everyone goes, God damn, I wish I had an accent like that guy.
00:06:42.000 Hey, it works for me, so I'm just...
00:06:43.000 It's one of the biggest sins, right, when you fake an accent?
00:06:46.000 Can there be a more douchey thing to do?
00:06:48.000 Like, remember when Madonna was talking English?
00:06:50.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:06:51.000 Do you remember that, Brian?
00:06:52.000 Yeah.
00:06:53.000 She only did it for, like, a little bit until people started calling her on it.
00:06:55.000 Britney Spears also did it for a while, it seems like.
00:06:58.000 Yeah, but, you know, nobody takes Britney Spears seriously.
00:07:01.000 You know, Britney Spears is a crazy person.
00:07:03.000 Madonna is, like, a legit artist who just got a little carried away.
00:07:07.000 Yeah, there's a lot of people that do that.
00:07:09.000 I should try it.
00:07:11.000 I should not have caffeine for a while and fake an accent for a while.
00:07:14.000 This is my sixth or seventh day of no caffeine.
00:07:17.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
00:07:18.000 Fascinating, man.
00:07:18.000 I want to do that.
00:07:19.000 Yeah, I'm a junkie.
00:07:21.000 I didn't even know I was a junkie.
00:07:24.000 I feel great now, but I'm not convinced that I'm going to stay off the coffee.
00:07:28.000 It's just like, now I know what it's like to be like a person who's hooked on cigarettes.
00:07:32.000 Is it like a cigarette?
00:07:32.000 Yeah, is it like a cigarette?
00:07:33.000 No.
00:07:33.000 You see this coffee right now and you're like, oh, that looks delicious.
00:07:35.000 No, because the physical pull's not the same.
00:07:37.000 The physical pull, and I can substitute it.
00:07:40.000 I'll drink like a chai tea latte, which has like the tiniest amount of caffeine, nothing like a coffee.
00:07:45.000 Yeah, but you have 42 of them per day, don't you?
00:07:48.000 I mainline them.
00:07:49.000 I just take them right into my fucking veins.
00:07:52.000 But do you drink coffee, brother?
00:07:54.000 You had a really good point.
00:07:55.000 You were saying before the podcast about this.
00:07:57.000 We were speaking about this.
00:07:58.000 Yeah, I try to use it the same way somebody always uses hard drugs.
00:08:00.000 I'll try just when I absolutely need it, then I'm wired for 10 hours.
00:08:06.000 I'm not even going to drink coffee.
00:08:07.000 I'm just going to have a double espresso when I need it.
00:08:09.000 Just go with my hair sticking out in that direction.
00:08:14.000 That's scary.
00:08:17.000 That's such a smart move.
00:08:18.000 That's such a smart move.
00:08:19.000 That scares me.
00:08:20.000 Well, the reason why I did this in the first was because I took a few days off just randomly.
00:08:24.000 I decided I just didn't want any coffee.
00:08:28.000 And then I had a cup of coffee.
00:08:29.000 And oh, my God.
00:08:30.000 My heart was pounding.
00:08:32.000 I was like, wow, this is crazy.
00:08:33.000 It just took a couple days, maybe three days, and my tolerance had broken down.
00:08:39.000 I don't know why or how that happens that quick or if I just got a really good batch at Starbucks.
00:08:44.000 And then I started thinking about it like, wow, how much resources is my body using to fight off this stimulant every day?
00:08:50.000 How normal is this?
00:08:51.000 How healthy is this?
00:08:53.000 It can't be.
00:08:53.000 And I get the same feeling when I'm drinking coffee that I do when I smoke too much cigarettes, where it feels like my body is craving it, but I get a headache kind of from it.
00:09:03.000 You're poisoned, right?
00:09:04.000 Yeah, I feel it.
00:09:04.000 You feel like you're poisoned, and you're addicted.
00:09:08.000 Yeah, most certainly I'm addicted to coffee.
00:09:10.000 I see it and I smell it, but I can get around it with tea, and tea doesn't wire me like that.
00:09:15.000 It doesn't work for me.
00:09:16.000 It doesn't, really?
00:09:17.000 I mean, iced tea, I drink shitloads of iced tea, but that is like as bad as drinking coffee, I think.
00:09:22.000 Really?
00:09:23.000 Yeah, there's a lot of caffeine.
00:09:24.000 Yeah, but you know, you could drink herbal tea, too.
00:09:26.000 I like herbal tea.
00:09:27.000 You know, you could have like, you know, there's a lot of different types of herbal tea that have no caffeine in them.
00:09:32.000 For me, it's like, Tate Fletcher, our buddy, said it best.
00:09:34.000 He said it's like, drinking a cup of coffee is like having a warm hug.
00:09:37.000 Yeah.
00:09:38.000 You know?
00:09:38.000 It's like, I'm not really looking to be wired from the coffee.
00:09:41.000 I just want some warm liquid that tastes good.
00:09:44.000 I like the taste of coffee.
00:09:46.000 Yeah.
00:09:46.000 I think you need more love, man.
00:09:47.000 I need more love?
00:09:48.000 I think you got a good point, brother.
00:09:49.000 I like the way this guy thinks.
00:09:51.000 So you wrote this book on religion and you wrote also a book on martial arts.
00:09:56.000 So you and I have a lot in common, man.
00:09:57.000 We have a lot of very similar interests.
00:10:01.000 How did you get involved in religion?
00:10:02.000 Were you raised religious?
00:10:03.000 No.
00:10:04.000 No, I'm fascinated by it because you see how much it means to people, how much their whole worldview, their life, their priorities, who they marry, who they want to hang out with.
00:10:14.000 Everything depends on the kind of stuff they put in their head based on religion.
00:10:19.000 It's powerful stuff.
00:10:19.000 It's amazing that it still works, isn't it?
00:10:22.000 2011, it's very difficult to have pure objective thinking.
00:10:28.000 But then again, the thing is, the stuff that drives all this is that people are scared of dying, and rightfully so, because we don't control jack shit, we don't know anything about anything really about how the universe works.
00:10:39.000 A friend of ours just died, so we should say rest in peace to Patrice O'Neil.
00:10:43.000 He was a great guy and a great comedian, an awesome dude, an awesome thinker.
00:10:48.000 He was a warm, friendly guy.
00:10:50.000 I always loved seeing that guy.
00:10:53.000 I'm going to miss him.
00:10:54.000 I'm going to miss him a lot.
00:10:55.000 He was a great comedian.
00:10:58.000 He was a great guy.
00:11:00.000 Just sucks.
00:11:02.000 He had poor health.
00:11:03.000 He had diabetes.
00:11:06.000 I guess he just didn't really take care of himself.
00:11:09.000 He ate too much.
00:11:10.000 He wound up having a stroke.
00:11:15.000 He was in a coma for a little while, I guess.
00:11:17.000 It was really difficult to get the information out because the family was sort of protecting it, and rightly so.
00:11:23.000 We don't know exactly the details of it.
00:11:27.000 What I'm repeating is just stuff that I heard on the internet.
00:11:30.000 I'm so sad about it.
00:11:31.000 I don't even want to call anybody and talk to anybody about it.
00:11:34.000 I talked to Stan Hope about it today.
00:11:37.000 We talked for just a minute.
00:11:39.000 What can you say?
00:11:41.000 It sucks.
00:11:41.000 We both just said that.
00:11:42.000 We really didn't even say anything other than it sucks.
00:11:45.000 I asked him, I go, did you hear about Patrice?
00:11:47.000 He goes, yeah, it sucks.
00:11:48.000 I go, yeah, it sucks.
00:11:50.000 Can't even say anything else.
00:11:52.000 Anything else is cliche.
00:11:53.000 Hey, it's going to happen to all of us someday.
00:11:55.000 It's like the real moment of actually dealing with loss is really intense.
00:12:00.000 You know, it's real hard to deal with.
00:12:02.000 Patrice, we're going to miss you.
00:12:04.000 We'll miss you a lot, man.
00:12:06.000 He was one of those comics that was so quick.
00:12:10.000 Just seeing him on Opie and Anthony all the time.
00:12:12.000 That was the one thing that I could just...
00:12:13.000 He was really fast and hilarious.
00:12:16.000 Powerful.
00:12:17.000 He's a comic, man.
00:12:18.000 He's a real comic.
00:12:19.000 My favorite Patrice thing wasn't even of him doing stand-up.
00:12:22.000 My favorite Patrice thing was him on one of those Fox...
00:12:27.000 It was either Fox News or one of those...
00:12:29.000 Talk shows where someone had said something inappropriate and gotten in trouble.
00:12:33.000 I believe it was like Opie and Anthony.
00:12:35.000 I think it was the incident where they had some crackhead on their show and the crackhead talked about he wanted to rape Condoleezza Rice.
00:12:46.000 They had a crazy person on their show and they got suspended for it.
00:12:52.000 I think that was what he was defending.
00:12:53.000 But there was a woman on who was with him.
00:12:56.000 And this woman was talking about how you shouldn't have said this, you shouldn't have said that.
00:13:00.000 And Patrice is just clowning her.
00:13:03.000 He's just like, you don't understand funny.
00:13:05.000 You guys don't understand funny.
00:13:06.000 It all comes from the same place.
00:13:07.000 And the way he said it, it was so honest and so well thought out.
00:13:11.000 And it made them look so silly.
00:13:13.000 It made people criticizing people who stepped across the line with comedy...
00:13:17.000 Criticizing them, you know, as if what their comedy was was like an actual statement of their real beliefs.
00:13:22.000 No, it's comedy, you know, and it all comes from the same place.
00:13:25.000 The ability or the attempt, rather, to try to make people laugh.
00:13:28.000 And he broke it down so well, and it was so funny the way he did it, the way he handled it, it was so brilliant.
00:13:33.000 He was just a real quick guy.
00:13:34.000 A real unique thinker.
00:13:36.000 And a guy who, you know, I always really loved to see.
00:13:40.000 And whenever I ran into him, I was always happy.
00:13:42.000 You know, comedians are a rare animal.
00:13:45.000 There's not that many of us.
00:13:47.000 Is this the video right here that you're talking about?
00:13:50.000 Um, I don't think so.
00:13:52.000 No, it was...
00:13:53.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:13:54.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:13:55.000 He just totally clowned this lady in Osario.
00:13:57.000 She took part in a recent protest calling for radio stations to stop supporting negative language in music and talk radio.
00:14:04.000 And also, our favorite stand-up comic, Patrice O'Neill.
00:14:08.000 Thank you, sir.
00:14:09.000 Patrice, are ONA next?
00:14:12.000 I hope not.
00:14:13.000 I hope JV, I wish JV and Elvis didn't lose their job or Imus.
00:14:16.000 It's funny, this is the thing.
00:14:18.000 I don't know her, but I'm assuming that she has nothing to do with funny.
00:14:23.000 So I'm going to speak as the expert on funny.
00:14:26.000 Funny people should just be left to try to be funny.
00:14:28.000 What if they're not funny?
00:14:30.000 Then you made a mistake.
00:14:31.000 But how many, listen, how many times has an unfunny, how many unfunny rape jokes lead to rape?
00:14:37.000 I don't know how many jokes about rape there are.
00:14:40.000 There's a lot.
00:14:41.000 But your world is not funny.
00:14:43.000 Your world is...
00:14:44.000 Next on the big story.
00:14:47.000 My world is people trying to be funny.
00:14:49.000 Well, I mean, you think it's okay to try to make jokes about rape?
00:14:52.000 I'm diabetic.
00:14:53.000 I make fun of that.
00:14:54.000 I'm a victim.
00:14:55.000 I might lose a toe.
00:14:56.000 I'm trying to make fun of anything I think I can make fun of.
00:15:01.000 Sonia?
00:15:02.000 You know, what's happening now is the marketplace is deciding what's appropriate.
00:15:11.000 Appropriate or what's not appropriate.
00:15:13.000 It is.
00:15:13.000 I think the nation is just tired.
00:15:14.000 There's a new mood in the nation.
00:15:16.000 What nation?
00:15:16.000 The nation.
00:15:17.000 You know what?
00:15:18.000 We're tired of things that are just awful.
00:15:19.000 It's just the nation that's paper and you.
00:15:20.000 I'm not the nation.
00:15:22.000 I'm just speaking for me and funny.
00:15:24.000 You're speaking for the nation or are you speaking for...
00:15:26.000 Yeah.
00:15:26.000 You know why?
00:15:27.000 Because...
00:15:27.000 Shots are down.
00:15:28.000 I remember six years ago.
00:15:31.000 Doing something against Anthony Openey because they were just so outrageous and their violent images that they put out to women was just uncalled for.
00:15:42.000 And now, I think people...
00:15:44.000 Do you think they were trying to be funny?
00:15:45.000 I think now people in this country are tired...
00:15:47.000 Do you think they were trying to be funny?
00:15:49.000 You know what?
00:15:50.000 I don't care if they're trying to be funny.
00:15:51.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:15:52.000 Why are you in that business?
00:15:54.000 I've been to your show once and it wasn't very funny being a woman in your show.
00:15:59.000 I was in the paper with her, and the joke is hilarious, called The Angry Pirate.
00:16:04.000 And the lady who wrote it in her outrage didn't even know what it meant, and anybody who read it laughed, because they know what's funny.
00:16:11.000 You're not living in the context of funny.
00:16:13.000 You're living in the context of fire.
00:16:15.000 All these guys have every right to be as funny as they want.
00:16:17.000 They can go out and try to be as funny as they want, make as much money, make as much money being as funny as they want.
00:16:22.000 This is what's happening.
00:16:23.000 There is a change in this country.
00:16:25.000 People are realizing They have an opportunity to speak out.
00:16:29.000 And advertisers are listening.
00:16:30.000 Radio stations are listening.
00:16:32.000 You're not talking to who I talk to.
00:16:34.000 And you're not going to get paid as much money anymore.
00:16:36.000 Sonya and Patrice, look at this.
00:16:37.000 You're not going to get paid as much money anymore.
00:16:40.000 They've been on a tear lately.
00:16:42.000 Are they cleaning house, or is this the PC cops run amok?
00:16:47.000 You know what it is, John.
00:16:48.000 You know what it is while you're reading that paper.
00:16:50.000 It's the PC cops run amog.
00:16:52.000 Who's the PC cop?
00:16:54.000 Of course she is.
00:16:55.000 She has an entire encyclopedia of her stance on it, but it's no passion involved.
00:17:00.000 It's not a real...
00:17:01.000 This is just what she has to say.
00:17:03.000 We are outraged and fired and fired and fired.
00:17:07.000 Name-calling.
00:17:08.000 I'm outraged.
00:17:09.000 I am outraged.
00:17:10.000 You should be.
00:17:11.000 I am a fool.
00:17:12.000 Now, if I called you a fool...
00:17:14.000 You know what?
00:17:17.000 Who are these people?
00:17:19.000 Who are the people?
00:17:22.000 Here's my question.
00:17:23.000 How can you justify a bad joke, a joke that isn't funny?
00:17:28.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:17:29.000 An attempt that isn't funny, doesn't get any laughs, and is about raping the first black woman to ever become the Secretary of State of the United States.
00:17:39.000 Don't throw that at me.
00:17:40.000 Well why not?
00:17:41.000 Attempt is what I'm trying to fight for.
00:17:44.000 Funny jokes and unfunny jokes come out of the same birth.
00:17:51.000 You don't know if anything is going to be funny.
00:17:54.000 You should attempt to be able to make anything funny.
00:17:57.000 Don't you think a joke about rape is doomed to be not funny?
00:18:00.000 It's possible, but I've heard them.
00:18:03.000 Have you heard a funny rape joke?
00:18:05.000 I'd say a couple.
00:18:06.000 Watch my scale special.
00:18:07.000 I'm pretty good at it.
00:18:09.000 Patrice says that if you're having sex with a woman, doggy style, and if you...
00:18:14.000 She's saying doggy style!
00:18:16.000 No, it's ejaculate in her eye and kick her in the shin, and she walks around like, argh!
00:18:21.000 It's the angry pirate!
00:18:23.000 That's what she was trying to say!
00:18:26.000 It's called the donkey crunch!
00:18:29.000 Why are you laughing?
00:18:31.000 She's outrageous!
00:18:34.000 It's called humor that she has no clue what it is.
00:18:37.000 We have the same problem that Opie and Anthony does.
00:18:40.000 You can't say just anything on the air.
00:18:42.000 You can say anything you want.
00:18:44.000 It might not be funny.
00:18:45.000 You might get in trouble for it, but you should be able to be attempting.
00:18:48.000 And plus, when is a crazy bum going to get an opportunity to rape the president's wife, John?
00:18:55.000 It was trying to be funny.
00:18:57.000 All right, Patrice, why aren't I hearing Al Sharpton complain about this thing involving Congress?
00:19:01.000 Because it wasn't involving young black women.
00:19:04.000 Well, it was involving a very prominent black woman.
00:19:07.000 Well, where was she during young black...
00:19:09.000 Everybody has their agenda.
00:19:11.000 I was there.
00:19:11.000 I was there.
00:19:11.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:19:12.000 All right, excuse me.
00:19:13.000 But why am I not hearing some Sharpton?
00:19:15.000 Because it doesn't concern him.
00:19:17.000 It's not concerning him.
00:19:18.000 It's black.
00:19:19.000 Come on now.
00:19:20.000 You know Al Sharpton has his agenda and it was perfect for Al.
00:19:24.000 Young black women.
00:19:26.000 And now she's representing just women in general.
00:19:29.000 She's not representing the nappy-ho part.
00:19:31.000 She's representing just the hoe.
00:19:33.000 The nappy-headed part, she has nothing to do with it.
00:19:35.000 Just the hoe.
00:19:38.000 You know what?
00:19:39.000 Women have been abused publicly in the media for too long, and people are tired of it.
00:19:45.000 This has been a beautiful response of just the general public saying to advertisers, we're your consumers.
00:19:53.000 She's awesome.
00:19:53.000 We don't want to have to avoid everything in the street.
00:19:56.000 We don't want to have to worry about what radio station we turn on.
00:19:59.000 And there is some really derogatory, violent You're going to get all your information, ma'am, is secondhand from someone making you aware that someone may have said something that you should be upset about.
00:20:13.000 That's a shame.
00:20:14.000 The people you represent aren't all victims in this matter.
00:20:23.000 I love, like, dumb people who talk ridiculous and try to sound intelligent.
00:20:28.000 Like, she's, like, speaking for the entire country.
00:20:31.000 And we are fed up.
00:20:33.000 And we're like, whoa, whoa.
00:20:34.000 How preposterous.
00:20:36.000 How beautiful was he in that, though?
00:20:37.000 Yeah, that was beautiful.
00:20:38.000 He was beautiful.
00:20:38.000 I love that dude.
00:20:40.000 He is.
00:20:41.000 We miss you, buddy.
00:20:42.000 That's it.
00:20:43.000 That's it.
00:20:44.000 Rest in peace.
00:20:45.000 See you on the other side.
00:20:46.000 Peace out.
00:20:47.000 All right.
00:20:48.000 Daniel, back to you, brother.
00:20:49.000 Yep.
00:20:50.000 So, Danielle.
00:20:52.000 How do you say it?
00:20:53.000 Daniele?
00:20:54.000 In Italian?
00:20:57.000 You slick bastard.
00:21:00.000 I love the fact that you admitted you kept it.
00:21:03.000 Kept that accent.
00:21:04.000 That's fantastic.
00:21:06.000 So I don't know how we got into this about people being afraid to die.
00:21:09.000 That's what it was.
00:21:10.000 Yeah, because I mean, with religion, if you read even like early 1900s, people are thinking, okay, now with modernity, we're in a modern world, a more secular world, all the kind of more traditional superstitions are all going to phase out.
00:21:22.000 I mean, it makes sense on the surface, but not really, because until you have the answers to the things that make people really freak out, dying, grief, what the hell, you know, because I mean, our life is so short, and we don't know jack shit about before or after.
00:21:36.000 Until you give some people some answers, people are not comfortable having no answers.
00:21:40.000 No matter how bullshit those answers are, they need them.
00:21:44.000 It's almost like religion is some sort of an evolutionary device, like a bridge to take us from being monkeys to being enlightened beings.
00:21:53.000 Like we need some horseshit to get us through this.
00:21:57.000 We need a belief.
00:22:00.000 No one ever wants to think of the concept of life being that it may be that you have lived this exact life before and you will live it over and over again until you get it right.
00:22:11.000 And the idea that this could go on into infinity.
00:22:14.000 And that might be what life really is.
00:22:17.000 We don't think of it As being possible because it's too hard for our minds to wrap around and too alien to what we absolutely know to exist, like birth and death and having a certain amount of time here to get things done and seeing people die.
00:22:33.000 Okay.
00:22:33.000 But...
00:22:35.000 The actual possibility is almost like it's too fucked up for us, so somebody had to invent religion in order to just patch up the road till we make it there.
00:22:45.000 Yeah, because in reality we don't really control pretty much anything in life.
00:22:50.000 And we're conscious.
00:22:51.000 And we're conscious of it.
00:22:52.000 So that's a quagmire.
00:22:53.000 Scandiest thing in the universe.
00:22:55.000 Yeah, the universe itself.
00:22:57.000 I had a bit in one of my past albums about if you ever are starting to take your life seriously, just stand out and go outside and just look up at space and just really wrap your head up.
00:23:08.000 I mean, everybody looks, oh, there's a star.
00:23:10.000 Stars are bright tonight.
00:23:11.000 But very few people actually look up and go, wow, you know, that literally is infinity.
00:23:17.000 Like, we're floating in infinity, and it's the majority of what I see, you know, all around the top.
00:23:22.000 It's easier to see infinity than it is to see the ground.
00:23:25.000 I mean, I have more view of the infinity.
00:23:27.000 Like, it's amazing how rarely that comes up.
00:23:31.000 No one talks about it.
00:23:33.000 It's too much.
00:23:34.000 So we just sort of accept that we live in space and accept that we look at the clouds.
00:23:39.000 What is the first religion?
00:23:40.000 What's the first known religion?
00:23:42.000 I mean, if you look at the...
00:23:45.000 I have a chapter in there that I had half of the fun of doing this book was coming up with the titles, because in a few words, you just throw out something outrageous and weird that gets things going.
00:23:55.000 And let me see if I remember what this one exact was, because I had a blast with the origins of religion.
00:24:01.000 When will this book be released?
00:24:03.000 It should be this week.
00:24:04.000 This week on disinfo.com you can pick it up.
00:24:07.000 And then Amazon.
00:24:09.000 This one I have a chapter entitled Mammoth Porn and the Caveman's Epop, The Origins of Religion.
00:24:16.000 Because the very first evidence that archaeologists suggest this may be the beginning of religious behavior, they see these cave paintings left by cavemen where the main things that these guys were drawing were hunting scenes and animals having sex.
00:24:30.000 The idea being these guys were doing these rituals because their life was on the line to ensure success in the hunt.
00:24:37.000 And then, you know, animals are dead, so you need to make sure there are more for the next time around.
00:24:41.000 So you're trying to send out the vibes so that the animals have sex, there's more of them, and so on.
00:24:46.000 And what they would do, again, this is pure speculation because who the hell knows, but it's a fun speculation.
00:24:51.000 Archaeologists suggest that they would have these rituals in front of this painting where they would mimic hunting and then they would mimic, you know, caveman and cavewoman having grindy, sweaty, dancing, semi-sex, kind of like modern hip-hop kind of thing.
00:25:06.000 And that would be the beginning of religion because they are trying to influence the universe so that the animals have more sex and there's more of them to come along the next time.
00:25:15.000 Wow!
00:25:16.000 And I thought...
00:25:16.000 Could be total bullshit, because I mean, how do you know, really?
00:25:20.000 An archaeologist basing it on three pieces of information left 15,000 years ago, but it sounds fun.
00:25:26.000 And we should clarify that you actually know what you're talking about, unlike most of the time these discussions get brought up on this podcast.
00:25:32.000 You're actually a professor.
00:25:33.000 Where do you teach at?
00:25:35.000 I teach at Santa Monica College and at Cal State Long Beach.
00:25:38.000 And what is your education?
00:25:41.000 I started out, when I came here, I did my BA in Anthropology, but then I hated it.
00:25:46.000 And then I did an MA in American Indian Studies, of all things.
00:25:51.000 Oh, wow.
00:25:51.000 And then I did a second MA in History.
00:25:54.000 And really, I mean, bottom line is there was mandatory military service in Italy, and you could defer it as long as you were in school.
00:26:00.000 So I was like, I'll do another Master's, no problem.
00:26:04.000 Well, the Indian studies must have been interesting.
00:26:07.000 Yeah, it was fun.
00:26:07.000 It was a lot of fun.
00:26:08.000 Yeah, I got really into American Indian history a few years back and I read quite a few books on it.
00:26:13.000 It's an amazing case of genocide.
00:26:16.000 Absolutely.
00:26:16.000 I mean, people really can't even wrap their head around how many American Indians died.
00:26:21.000 Yeah, 90% of the whole population wiped out.
00:26:24.000 And horrific, horrific stories.
00:26:26.000 You know, I read some soldiers' accounts of what they did to, you know, American Indians, and it's horrific, you know.
00:26:34.000 It got really terrifying, like serial killer stuff, you know, what they would do.
00:26:38.000 Just heartless, like they treated them like they were not even vermin, you know.
00:26:43.000 A lot of that is actually tied to religion because the first way to kind of dehumanize somebody is, I mean...
00:26:51.000 With all Western religions, they have this division between God and the devil, absolute good and absolute evil, heaven and hell.
00:26:57.000 So there are the good guys who follow God, and then there's everybody else.
00:27:00.000 Because, I mean, if there's only one right way, then the idea is anybody who doesn't follow ours, by default, is on the wrong side.
00:27:07.000 And if you take that a couple of steps further, then that's what it leads to in the idea of You guys are the servants of the devil.
00:27:14.000 You're not really human anyway.
00:27:16.000 So, slaughtering you left and right is an act of justice.
00:27:20.000 That's one of my favorite.
00:27:22.000 I use this in class all the time because I have a blast.
00:27:25.000 Everybody, even if they never read any of this stuff, heard about the whole story about Moses and the Ten Commandments and so on.
00:27:33.000 And after that, I ask my students about what happens right after that story, because that's where it gets juicy.
00:27:38.000 And they're like, I don't know, oh, there wasn't golden calf or some crap, like some of the Jews are not worshipping the one God.
00:27:46.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's right.
00:27:47.000 And what does Moses do about it right after getting the Ten Commandments?
00:27:50.000 Like, I don't know.
00:27:52.000 He gathers the loyalists, you know, the strict monotheistic people who are still on his side.
00:27:57.000 He tells them, hey guys, you know, those are our friends, they are our neighbors, some of them are family, but they are worshipping other gods.
00:28:05.000 We can't have that, so you know what to do.
00:28:07.000 Get your weapons, let's go from one side to the camp of the other and kill them all.
00:28:12.000 And so right after the Ten Commandments, you have a nice story of some 3,000 Jewish tribes who have been hacked to death by the monotheistic Jews against the polytheistic Jews.
00:28:21.000 Jesus Christ!
00:28:22.000 In a nice, religious massacre right off the bat.
00:28:25.000 Wow!
00:28:25.000 And Moses ordered this.
00:28:28.000 Oh my God.
00:28:30.000 That is ridiculous.
00:28:32.000 That's right, Ed.
00:28:33.000 That's amazing.
00:28:34.000 That's amazing.
00:28:35.000 And this is the Old Testament?
00:28:36.000 Yep.
00:28:36.000 God, the Old Testament is so freaky.
00:28:38.000 The Old Testament is just filled with freaky.
00:28:41.000 It's like one of the most psychedelic, bizarre books.
00:28:45.000 All the stories, just Genesis, there's so much in there that's like, wait a minute, what?
00:28:52.000 There was a fucking talking snake?
00:28:54.000 Like, come on, man.
00:28:55.000 The devil appeared as a talking snake.
00:28:58.000 And talked him into eating a fruit.
00:29:00.000 It was just a piece of fruit.
00:29:01.000 That's all they had to do?
00:29:02.000 Just a piece of fruit?
00:29:03.000 It's hilarious.
00:29:04.000 You know, that God is just...
00:29:06.000 His rules are so fucking serious.
00:29:08.000 You eat my fucking apples, bitch!
00:29:09.000 I'm not just gonna punish you.
00:29:11.000 I'm gonna punish every fucking person from now till eternity.
00:29:15.000 As long as they're people, the people are fucked because one dumb bitch ate an apple.
00:29:19.000 It's my fucking apple!
00:29:22.000 Isn't that amazing?
00:29:23.000 That's when you don't understand funny, I'm afraid.
00:29:25.000 God should mellow out a little.
00:29:27.000 God, what the fuck, man?
00:29:29.000 God, you need to smoke a joint.
00:29:31.000 Use some of your own creation.
00:29:32.000 It's amazing how ruthless, when you go back in history, how ruthless gods were.
00:29:38.000 Absolutely.
00:29:39.000 That's why it cracks me up when you hear Christian fundamentalists complaining about Hollywood, about all the sex and violence.
00:29:45.000 Because if you look at the Bible, there's...
00:29:47.000 I mean, it's awesome.
00:29:48.000 There's more sex and violence in the Bible than any Hollywood movie I can think of.
00:29:52.000 You know, it gets so insanely graphic that it's like, damn, really?
00:29:55.000 This is what...
00:29:56.000 Yeah, it's amazing, too, how many of the stories are, like, really similar to older stories from other religions.
00:30:05.000 You know, like, the one that always got me was the Epic of Gilgamesh and the story of Noah and the Ark.
00:30:11.000 They're so similar.
00:30:13.000 It's like...
00:30:14.000 It's like, really, it's like, I wonder what really happened.
00:30:17.000 And my speculation, it's totally speculation, is there probably was some sort of a great catastrophe a long time ago.
00:30:25.000 But of course, in every giant tsunami or flood, it's not everyone that dies.
00:30:30.000 Some people are going to live.
00:30:31.000 And the people that live, they're going to have to have some story for how they lived.
00:30:35.000 And, you know, a couple generations in, when everybody's still living like a monkey...
00:30:39.000 You know, running around collecting fruit and trying to get their goats to fuck so they can kill them and eat them, you know, and just wondering how they got, like, we seem really intelligent.
00:30:47.000 Like, how did we get to this shitty point?
00:30:49.000 Like, how come none of you fucks have figured out tools or clothing or houses or anything yet?
00:30:54.000 Well, a long time ago, Noah was the only person, and we are the children of Noah.
00:30:59.000 They don't even take into account that, you know, how many people were with Noah?
00:31:03.000 Everybody came from Noah?
00:31:04.000 Where do black people come from?
00:31:06.000 What about Chinese people?
00:31:07.000 How does that happen?
00:31:07.000 How long does it take for...
00:31:09.000 I mean, Noah only supposedly was a couple thousand years ago, right?
00:31:12.000 What was that?
00:31:13.000 Three thousand years ago or something like that?
00:31:14.000 Suddenly you have like six billion people.
00:31:16.000 How is that possible?
00:31:17.000 The fuck is that?
00:31:18.000 That's the dumbest shit ever.
00:31:20.000 It's probably the original story was probably an actual event.
00:31:26.000 Like, I think most of those depictions were actual events that just got distorted.
00:31:31.000 You know, the telephone game.
00:31:34.000 Like, you tell a friend and he tells a friend.
00:31:36.000 What is it called?
00:31:38.000 Operator.
00:31:38.000 Operator.
00:31:39.000 Yeah, I mean, by the time you get to the last person, you know...
00:31:42.000 That's actually funny that you bring it up because it's one of the ways in which I bring up sources when we talk about religion in class.
00:31:48.000 And I bring up, when I speak of the Bible, I tell them, you know, how do you know that this is the real stuff?
00:31:54.000 And I tell them, you know, really, we have been talking about an oral traditions for generations before anybody write them down.
00:32:00.000 And so I ask them, have you guys ever played Operator?
00:32:03.000 You know, do you know how that works?
00:32:04.000 And then you end up...
00:32:05.000 So picture playing operator for maybe 50 years, and then you record all the answers, and then 200 years later somebody come around and look at the answer and decide which ones are true and which ones are not, and that's the word of God for you.
00:32:19.000 Yeah, like, wow!
00:32:21.000 Try deciphering that.
00:32:23.000 And then people will fight to the death over those beliefs.
00:32:27.000 A little comma put here or there that changed the meaning.
00:32:30.000 That's, I need to cut off your bolts and burn the stake over it.
00:32:35.000 Well, how about the fact that, you know, like, even the shit that was written down, when they wrote it down in ancient Hebrew, ancient Hebrew is a very bizarre language, and it doesn't have, they don't have numbers.
00:32:45.000 So letters double as numbers.
00:32:47.000 So there's a numerical meaning to words.
00:32:50.000 There's a different grasp to the words that we can really barely comprehend.
00:32:55.000 And these words, numerical content was very important.
00:33:00.000 The word God and the word love, they have the same numerical content.
00:33:05.000 And there was a translation from that to Latin and then to Greek.
00:33:15.000 And if they're doing that, I mean, Jesus Christ, what are they going to...
00:33:20.000 I mean, how do you even know what the fuck was the original work?
00:33:22.000 Oh, yeah, exactly.
00:33:23.000 On the telephone after you play it for that long and somebody decides.
00:33:26.000 Then you translate it in a bunch of languages.
00:33:28.000 And then it's like, no, there are so many filters to go through that who the hell knows what it was at the beginning.
00:33:33.000 And people have to make decisions.
00:33:35.000 They have to decide what goes in and what goes out.
00:33:39.000 And how to...
00:33:39.000 Like the King James version.
00:33:41.000 And, you know, the whole idea behind the New Testament is just so preposterous.
00:33:45.000 If you find out how it was created, it was Constantine.
00:33:49.000 Right.
00:33:49.000 A bunch of bishops, right?
00:33:50.000 I mean, Constantine was a gangster, basically, because he was just about, you know...
00:33:54.000 He was ruthless.
00:33:55.000 ...controlling powers, monitoring enemies, and he's the guy who pushed the religious reform that brings Christianity as one.
00:34:01.000 He's like, I don't know, that's the guy you want to have in your car.
00:34:04.000 Yeah, that's the guy that's creating the Bible?
00:34:06.000 Are you fucking crazy?
00:34:09.000 It's amazing, because, you know, people will say, If you bring up the Bible, bring up crazy stuff.
00:34:13.000 Oh, that's the Old Testament.
00:34:15.000 We go by the New Testament.
00:34:16.000 The New Testament was written by a fucking murderer.
00:34:19.000 And even that is bullshit because they only say that about the Old Testament when the Old Testament is so obviously over the top nuts that it's embarrassing.
00:34:27.000 But then anytime it says something that they want that's not in the New Testament, it's like, hey, it's in the Bible.
00:34:32.000 But I'm like, no, wait, that's the book you just told me that it doesn't count.
00:34:35.000 No, but when it says something I like, then it counts.
00:34:40.000 How do you deal with that when people are teaching it and when you're trying to study theology?
00:34:53.000 How many people who are actually studying theology are religious and how many of them get to a point where they become agnostic?
00:35:03.000 I guess it depends where they do it.
00:35:05.000 If they do it as some hardcore Christian school, well, that's gonna be one type of clientele.
00:35:10.000 If they do it more in public schools...
00:35:12.000 When I first started teaching the History of Religions class, I thought, shit, what did I get myself into?
00:35:18.000 I was all excited until five minutes before, and then I'm like, they are going to kill me.
00:35:22.000 Do you worry about that?
00:35:24.000 Muslims are the most...
00:35:26.000 The reality is that the people who take that stuff, Are already open-minded.
00:35:31.000 Otherwise, they wouldn't be taking it because they don't want to hear it.
00:35:33.000 So most of the people who do show up are the ones who have a more open-minded approach and so on.
00:35:38.000 So they are cool.
00:35:39.000 There are people who are willing to chat and engage and so on.
00:35:43.000 If you have a mind, and if you can think, and you start studying religion, it's almost impossible to not be agnostic.
00:35:51.000 Realistically, again, nobody knows shit.
00:35:54.000 Wanting some kind of absolute answer where there is none, it just shows that you are so damn fearful that you just want to ignore any evidence in order to decide, I need some certainty.
00:36:05.000 It's also a very weird characteristic that people have to need closure and to need a side to be on, even though there's no answer yet.
00:36:14.000 We haven't reached that point yet.
00:36:16.000 There's a door you have to open.
00:36:18.000 That door is death.
00:36:19.000 When that door opens, you'll get some more information, but who knows?
00:36:21.000 You might not even.
00:36:22.000 Maybe not.
00:36:22.000 You might just be a baby in 1950. Seriously.
00:36:27.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:36:28.000 Yeah.
00:36:29.000 Look, it's bizarre enough that you're a person.
00:36:32.000 It's bizarre enough that you use your eyeballs to judge distance.
00:36:35.000 You have these fucking organs inside your skull that measure light and distance, and they figure out exactly, precisely how far away you are from things.
00:36:45.000 And that allows you to get in metal boxes with rubber wheels.
00:36:48.000 That's just as bizarre as coming back as a baby in the 50s.
00:36:52.000 Everything we do is bizarre.
00:36:54.000 No, in fact, the universe is amazing.
00:36:55.000 I mean, it's so damn weird that it's beyond anything I can understand.
00:36:59.000 And precisely because I respect it and I'm in awe of it, trying to make it all fit in my little box of how everything is supposed to work is bullshit.
00:37:07.000 The best quote I ever heard of it from JDS Haldane who said, not only is the universe queerer than you suppose, it's queerer than you can suppose.
00:37:15.000 I can sign up for that.
00:37:17.000 That's it, right?
00:37:18.000 That's it.
00:37:19.000 It's fucking what?
00:37:20.000 What the fuck is that?
00:37:23.000 Ridiculous.
00:37:23.000 So when you got involved in religion, did you originally get involved in it from an archaeological standpoint?
00:37:31.000 No, it was like I got involved with just about everything else completely by chance.
00:37:36.000 I mean, I was into it.
00:37:37.000 I would read it for myself.
00:37:39.000 I would read mainly a lot of Eastern philosophy and stuff like that that I was into, but I would read for the hell of it.
00:37:43.000 And somebody then one day asked me, hey, man, we need somebody to teach this thing.
00:37:48.000 Can you do it?
00:37:49.000 I'm like, no, not really.
00:37:50.000 And they're like, No, but come on, you're kind of a renaissance man.
00:37:53.000 You know a lot of shit.
00:37:54.000 Do it.
00:37:54.000 I'm like, okay, sure.
00:37:56.000 And I jump on and I'm like, yeah, I love this stuff.
00:37:58.000 This is fun.
00:37:59.000 I got to talk about all the stuff I like and this is awesome.
00:38:01.000 And so then I started reading more and more.
00:38:05.000 But I mean, yeah, I read my stuff before to begin with.
00:38:08.000 In the moment of pure perversion, I decided to read the entire Bible cover to cover when I was 18. Oh, wow.
00:38:15.000 Painful experiences of my life, but it's woke me up, though, when I got to this part, the Song of Solomon.
00:38:22.000 I don't know how the hell that book ended up in the Bible.
00:38:24.000 It's awesome.
00:38:24.000 It's like one of the best things.
00:38:26.000 All of a sudden, you have 10, 15, I forgot how many pages, where they don't mention God once.
00:38:31.000 They don't mention priests.
00:38:33.000 They don't mention anything.
00:38:34.000 It's just this super passionate, erotic love poem between a man and a woman.
00:38:39.000 A woman who enjoys sex as well is also from her point of view, which is completely unheard of in the rest of the Bible.
00:38:44.000 And it's just this celebration of sex, essentially.
00:38:47.000 And it's just like, always like, how the hell did this end up in there, you know?
00:38:51.000 And my theory is that one of the guys who are copying all the scriptures got drunk one night and took the wrong scroll and got his homemade porn there and put it in there by mistake.
00:39:00.000 His homemade porn!
00:39:01.000 It's awesome, you know?
00:39:02.000 It's amazing.
00:39:03.000 Do you know of John Marco Allegro's work?
00:39:06.000 I heard of him.
00:39:07.000 I heard of him a bunch, but I haven't read him actually directly.
00:39:11.000 He's a guy that was one of the people that was working on the Dead Sea Scrolls.
00:39:17.000 He was working on deciphering it.
00:39:19.000 And he was the only agnostic out of the group.
00:39:22.000 And he wrote a book called...
00:39:23.000 We wrote a couple of them.
00:39:24.000 One of them was called The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth.
00:39:28.000 And the first one was called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross.
00:39:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:39:31.000 And that one's a fascinating book.
00:39:34.000 He believes that the entire works of the Christian religion were originally mushroom.
00:39:41.000 It was about mushroom eating and psychedelic drugs and Ritual sex and about a fertility rituals and making sure that they they kept breeding and that you know women kept having babies.
00:39:56.000 Shit, how things went wrong.
00:39:57.000 Isn't that amazing though?
00:39:59.000 From such a promising start.
00:40:00.000 He tracks down the word mushroom or the word Jesus rather to an ancient Sumerian word.
00:40:08.000 The roots of it being an ancient Sumerian word that means a mushroom covered in God's semen.
00:40:14.000 and that the idea he believes and this is me he's making a big reach that I don't think unless you have some sort of serious education in language history could totally even grasp the argument but what he's saying is that what they used to call mushrooms It was like God would come on the earth when it would rain.
00:40:35.000 And then mushrooms would grow out of that.
00:40:37.000 They would eat them.
00:40:38.000 They'd have these incredible psychedelic experiences because of that.
00:40:41.000 And so that was Christ.
00:40:42.000 So Christ was a mushroom that was covered in God's semen.
00:40:45.000 Well, I mean, you have stuff.
00:40:47.000 You have religions around the world where anything from peyote to ayahuasca to a lot of psychedelic substances, amenita muscaria, the mushroom itself, a bunch of things that have been central to people's religion because they open up all these worlds and so on.
00:41:00.000 And probably the origins of a lot of the stories and a lot of the experiences.
00:41:04.000 Yeah, no wonder you start seeing weird gods flying around.
00:41:07.000 Especially back when it was hard to get food.
00:41:09.000 Oh, yeah.
00:41:09.000 You know, it was difficult.
00:41:10.000 People were hunter-gatherers, you know, essentially before religion was written down.
00:41:14.000 They were supposed to be hunter-gatherers up until like, what, 10,000 years ago?
00:41:19.000 10,000 years, something like that?
00:41:20.000 Although that's coming into dispute.
00:41:22.000 You know, they found a fucking fishing hooks and fishing line and tuna bones.
00:41:25.000 Tuna from 40,000 years ago.
00:41:28.000 Weird.
00:41:29.000 And they've never thought that people were capable of doing this.
00:41:33.000 But now they're thinking that up to 40,000 years ago, people were getting in boats, and they were going hundreds of miles into the ocean.
00:41:39.000 And they were catching tuna, dude.
00:41:42.000 TUNA! 40,000 years ago, they were in boats catching tuna.
00:41:46.000 They have no idea that people were doing that.
00:41:50.000 This is a complete new revelation.
00:41:53.000 It's like going to rewrite history.
00:41:56.000 What kind of fishing line do you have that you're making 42,000 years ago that you can pull a fucking thousand pound tuna out of hundreds of feet of water and you got a hook and some meat?
00:42:08.000 What is going on, man?
00:42:11.000 How is that possible?
00:42:13.000 We might have to rewire or rewrite the whole...
00:42:17.000 I have a very strong feeling that over the next few years there's going to be more and more evidence like this that makes people want to push back the origins.
00:42:26.000 Have you heard of Gobekli Tepe?
00:42:28.000 This new structure that they found in Turkey is another one where they're thinking they're going to have to push back the origins of civilization because it's at least 12,000 years old and it's these huge sculpted stone columns and They have all these animals that are drawn on it that don't even exist in Turkey.
00:42:46.000 So these animals weren't even supposed to be in the fossil record from back then.
00:42:51.000 So the belief is, what they're trying to say now is that this was made by hunter and gatherers.
00:42:57.000 And a lot of people are going, come on, man.
00:42:59.000 Like, what the fuck is this?
00:43:00.000 This is giant.
00:43:01.000 Just the fact that someone made something like this 13,000 years ago when we never thought people were making stuff like this...
00:43:07.000 We might have to go, wait a minute.
00:43:09.000 How much of this is really left over?
00:43:11.000 Is there a bunch of stuff we haven't found yet?
00:43:13.000 And if there is and we do find it, eventually there's going to be a point in time where they're going to have to say, I think we've been around longer than we think.
00:43:19.000 No, totally.
00:43:20.000 And it goes back to the we don't know shit, right?
00:43:22.000 Yeah.
00:43:22.000 That's why we are rewriting history all the time because, I mean, that's why, you know, you read history books and you have, like, the last 50 years is this thick and then the first 20,000 years is like, okay, we were here for a while and then 50 years ago this happened and it's like, okay, because we don't know much.
00:43:38.000 We look so much different than anything else here.
00:43:42.000 We're some kind of an ape, but god damn we look different than the rest of the apes.
00:43:46.000 How long did this take?
00:43:47.000 How long did it take for us to look like this?
00:43:50.000 Are you sure?
00:43:51.000 Are you sure it's been a million years?
00:43:53.000 Maybe it's been two.
00:43:54.000 And if it's been two, that changes a lot of shit.
00:43:57.000 We don't really know.
00:43:58.000 There's a lot of guessing going on, man.
00:44:02.000 Was it a clean separation between us and the apes?
00:44:05.000 No?
00:44:07.000 Or maybe that ape still look hot.
00:44:09.000 What if there's something super advanced, more advanced than us?
00:44:12.000 We just haven't met it yet.
00:44:14.000 Right.
00:44:14.000 And it's here just hiding from us like, oh, those crazy monkeys.
00:44:17.000 Yep.
00:44:18.000 It's just, you know, it's another couple thousand years ahead of us.
00:44:20.000 Maybe that's what the aliens are.
00:44:24.000 Probably not, right?
00:44:26.000 So, this Marco Allegro guy met a lot of controversy when he was trying to propose that religion might have had its roots in psychedelic experiences.
00:44:37.000 Why do you think people are so reluctant to take in that possibility?
00:44:42.000 Because I think...
00:44:43.000 Any kind of psychedelic experience is very individual.
00:44:45.000 You know, it's hard to build that church on it in a sense that it's hard to have a dogma because it changes so much from one experience to the next, from one person to the next.
00:44:54.000 And people, bottom line, love dogma.
00:44:56.000 That's the thing that reassures them.
00:44:58.000 Direct experience doesn't reassure them because they have to base it on their own feelings, on their own instinct, on their own, and it's too scary for people.
00:45:04.000 You know, you hear people talk so much shit about how we like freedom.
00:45:08.000 Most people are terrified of freedom.
00:45:10.000 Most people hate freedom.
00:45:11.000 They like the idea of being free, but they run to their chains anytime they can because they need something to keep them safe, to make them feel like, you're okay, little boy.
00:45:21.000 You're going to be fine.
00:45:22.000 You need ritual, tradition.
00:45:27.000 Martial arts, how long it took for people super attached to this is how we do things, this is the truth of combat, when in martial arts you can try it.
00:45:37.000 It's not like a religion where there's not as much direct evidence.
00:45:40.000 You can try it and still people would stick their head in the sand and not want to see it that some shit just didn't work.
00:45:45.000 Well, it's fascinating that it's one of the most fundamental forms of competition.
00:45:50.000 And yet, we're way better at it now.
00:45:52.000 And we have evolved it now over the last 20 years more than at any time in human history.
00:45:57.000 Absolutely.
00:45:58.000 So you've got to think people should have known a long time ago, but not really.
00:46:02.000 Because fighting is difficult, and it's dangerous, and it's scary, and most people try to avoid it if and whenever possible.
00:46:08.000 So there's not a lot of testing it out.
00:46:10.000 And it wasn't until something like the Ultimate Fighting Championship came along that we really found out what actually works.
00:46:15.000 Now we know what fighting is.
00:46:17.000 Now we really know what fighting is.
00:46:19.000 That's amazing when you think about it just as an archaeological thing.
00:46:22.000 You know, the fact that over the last 20 years they figured it out.
00:46:25.000 That's amazing.
00:46:26.000 It's amazing.
00:46:27.000 Even though the other day, I totally agree with what you said, but I just saw this scene that cracked me up.
00:46:31.000 I saw this Roman sculpture a few days ago in a picture where there's this...
00:46:37.000 The naked guys wrestling?
00:46:38.000 No, not even.
00:46:38.000 There's like this half-man, half-horse.
00:46:40.000 How are those called in English?
00:46:42.000 Centaur.
00:46:42.000 Centaur, yeah.
00:46:43.000 Who's putting some dude in a heel hook.
00:46:45.000 What's a minotaur and what's a centaur?
00:46:46.000 Is a centaur a bull?
00:46:47.000 Minotaur is the one with the bull.
00:46:48.000 The centaur is the half-horse.
00:46:50.000 That's my favorite.
00:46:51.000 The centaur is the best.
00:46:52.000 And that guy is putting a heel hook onto somebody.
00:46:55.000 Oh, really?
00:46:56.000 I was like, really a heel hook by a centaur 2,000 years ago?
00:46:59.000 That's awesome.
00:47:00.000 Wow.
00:47:00.000 Yeah, I bet they knew a lot of submissions back then.
00:47:02.000 I bet they had a couple of them.
00:47:04.000 There were some pretty cool things, but no, I agree with you.
00:47:06.000 I mean, the evolution of the last 20 years is unparalleled with anything else before.
00:47:09.000 That's why my dream would be to be able to have the UFC of religions, where rather than these people going off forever about...
00:47:16.000 Islam is awesome.
00:47:17.000 No, you suck.
00:47:17.000 Buddhism is great.
00:47:18.000 He's like, just shut up.
00:47:20.000 Get in a cage.
00:47:20.000 I sit back, have a beer, see what happens.
00:47:22.000 And then we can stop whining forever.
00:47:26.000 Nobody accepts losses, though.
00:47:27.000 No.
00:47:28.000 Not in bad departments.
00:47:29.000 They always think the guy got lucky and they want to come back.
00:47:31.000 And, you know, Islam's going to make a comeback, bitch.
00:47:33.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:47:35.000 But wouldn't that be fun?
00:47:36.000 That would be awesome.
00:47:37.000 Well, it's very strange to me when guys switch religions.
00:47:40.000 Like, you know, like a dude will convert and become, you know, a Jew or, you know, convert and become something else or a Christian or a Catholic.
00:47:47.000 Based on what?
00:47:48.000 More evidence?
00:47:49.000 Well, they found a better group of people to hang out with.
00:47:51.000 Yeah, I think.
00:47:52.000 You know, that's what it is.
00:47:53.000 It's like when you change nationalities.
00:47:55.000 Yeah.
00:47:55.000 You know, it's a very controversial thing, you know, when you become a U.S. citizen or, you know, did you become a U.S. citizen?
00:48:02.000 Yeah.
00:48:03.000 Was that a weird thing for you?
00:48:04.000 Not really.
00:48:05.000 I mean, for one, I didn't have to give up Italian citizenship, so it really doesn't change much.
00:48:09.000 I can still travel.
00:48:10.000 See, that's badass if you get dual citizenship.
00:48:13.000 It's cool, because that way I didn't have this weird, like, oh, shit, I'm cutting the bridges with the past.
00:48:19.000 So I didn't have to do that, so it wasn't too weird, you know.
00:48:21.000 It was just like, ah, stupid piece of paper that I can go in line faster next time, you know.
00:48:25.000 I got a friend of mine who's got that Canadian-American dual citizenship thing.
00:48:29.000 That's dope.
00:48:30.000 He goes back and forth with no problems.
00:48:32.000 He can work over there and work over here.
00:48:34.000 It's beautiful.
00:48:36.000 That's a very good gig.
00:48:38.000 But when you signed up to the Evil Empire, when you signed up, the final documents, we were like, oh my goodness.
00:48:43.000 Look what I've just joined up with.
00:48:45.000 I just joined up with the baddest gang in human history.
00:48:48.000 And that's really what you joined.
00:48:49.000 You joined the United States.
00:48:51.000 I always say that the people in the United States that we are living inside the balls of the dick that's fucking the world.
00:48:57.000 I like your imagery.
00:48:59.000 Poetic.
00:49:00.000 We're not a part of it, but we essentially take residence inside the balls of the great dick that's fucking the world.
00:49:08.000 A hundred different military bases in a hundred different countries or whatever the fuck we've got now.
00:49:13.000 I'll have to write that down.
00:49:14.000 That's awesome.
00:49:14.000 That's what it is.
00:49:16.000 You know, you just joined the best bot.
00:49:18.000 This is the best bot.
00:49:19.000 It's safe here, man.
00:49:20.000 We're just throwing a lot of punches.
00:49:22.000 Everybody's backing the fuck up.
00:49:23.000 We've got this thing circled.
00:49:25.000 Everywhere else is quite dangerous.
00:49:29.000 So, you got into this religion, you started teaching, and you wrote this book.
00:49:34.000 Now, in writing this book, was there anything that you found that shocked even you with all the shit that you know about religion?
00:49:40.000 No, I mean, I've seen enough stuff that by now is kind of hard.
00:49:43.000 You ever get into arguments with fundamentalist people?
00:49:45.000 No, because I think...
00:49:46.000 I think one of the things I tell them is that, hey man, I'm not telling you anything about any single one religion, because within any religion there's so much variation that they disagree just about everything among Christians, among Muslims.
00:49:59.000 I'm just making a general point about where a certain belief has led to.
00:50:04.000 Do you want to identify with that?
00:50:06.000 Good for you.
00:50:06.000 You don't, but I'm not saying your religion equal this.
00:50:09.000 I'm saying that as being...
00:50:10.000 This is the contents of your religion.
00:50:12.000 So people mellow out a little because they don't take it as personal.
00:50:14.000 And then I try to make it kind of funny and just play and laugh about it.
00:50:18.000 So having a sense of humor usually mellow them out a little.
00:50:20.000 So it doesn't get too...
00:50:22.000 I've even had some hardcore weird fundamentals that I thought they were out to kill me that suddenly they love me by the end of class.
00:50:28.000 And I'm like, really?
00:50:29.000 Have you been listening to...
00:50:30.000 And that's where I think the Italian accent come in.
00:50:32.000 I don't think they understood a thing I said.
00:50:34.000 But it sounded cool, and so they were.
00:50:36.000 Well, you're a smooth talker, and you obviously are well-educated, so the words come out nice, and you're basically talking about the Bible, and their little brains lock up.
00:50:46.000 That is a problem, too.
00:50:47.000 Isn't it a problem?
00:50:48.000 Some people are just dumb.
00:50:49.000 Yep.
00:50:50.000 I mean, I'm afraid that's the majority of people.
00:50:52.000 Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't want to believe that it's a biological issue.
00:50:58.000 A lot of people want to believe that it's an education issue or an environmental issue or a cultural issue.
00:51:03.000 And it may be, but it also might be biological.
00:51:08.000 Look, there's people that are born and they're seven feet tall.
00:51:11.000 There's people that are born and they have giant dicks.
00:51:14.000 There's a great variation of human beings.
00:51:17.000 When I just see this giant wave of sloth, you see a giant percentage of people in this country, I don't know if it's 20%, I don't know what the number is, we just look at them like, my God, you're barely thinking.
00:51:30.000 You're barely a person.
00:51:32.000 Are you just lazy?
00:51:33.000 Or do you have a 9-volt battery kicking inside your fucking head?
00:51:36.000 They might have a 9-volt battery.
00:51:38.000 They might have shit genes and a poor database to draw from genetically.
00:51:44.000 No one in their genes and ancestry has ever been any different than them.
00:51:49.000 And they've gotten this far, so there's no need to adapt.
00:51:52.000 Yeah, so it's like, you know, you come across a wild pig, or you come across a pig that's in a pen, and they're completely different animals.
00:51:59.000 Yeah, completely.
00:52:00.000 Absolutely.
00:52:00.000 Maybe that's what's going on.
00:52:02.000 In that case, we're fucked.
00:52:03.000 Yeah.
00:52:04.000 Maybe that's why wars keep going on, and maybe that's why religion keeps working.
00:52:08.000 Evolution, right.
00:52:09.000 Yeah, maybe it's like, it's almost impossible.
00:52:12.000 Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy?
00:52:14.000 No, I haven't seen it, but I heard it's funny.
00:52:16.000 You really need to see that movie by now, Joe.
00:52:18.000 I know.
00:52:18.000 I got upset because a couple people accused me of stealing the idea for that bit that I had for my special, the bit about dumb people outbreeding smart people.
00:52:28.000 Right.
00:52:28.000 First of all, that's not an original concept.
00:52:31.000 No.
00:52:31.000 People have been thinking that forever.
00:52:33.000 Of course.
00:52:33.000 And second of all, my special came out before that movie came out.
00:52:37.000 And it was something I worked on for years before the special.
00:52:40.000 It's just that, you know, everybody's had that thought.
00:52:42.000 So because of that, I bought it and I never watched it.
00:52:44.000 I didn't want to see how close it is to my shit.
00:52:47.000 You are pissed about it.
00:52:49.000 You get in these defending yourself.
00:52:53.000 There's no need to defend yourself.
00:52:54.000 It's gross.
00:52:55.000 That's one of the things about communicating with people online is the anonymity.
00:53:02.000 Sometimes you're dealing with people.
00:53:04.000 You're just dealing with, like, why are you behaving this way?
00:53:06.000 Why are you communicating this way?
00:53:08.000 The only reason why people would communicate that way is because there's a lack of social repercussions.
00:53:14.000 There's no...
00:53:16.000 You don't feel it.
00:53:18.000 It's like the reason why people in their car can give you the fuck you when they wouldn't do that if they were just in the street a few feet from you.
00:53:25.000 But in a car right next to you, because there's a window and because there's a door and a window and a door and some space in between that, they're like, fuck you, you fucking bitch.
00:53:35.000 Why you wouldn't do that in person?
00:53:37.000 You'd be a crazy person to do that in person.
00:53:39.000 But there's a detachment because of the automobiles.
00:53:42.000 We can't feel each other.
00:53:43.000 We don't see each other.
00:53:45.000 We're separated by some shit.
00:53:46.000 We know that it's safe.
00:53:48.000 It's the same feeling that you feel when you're at the zoo.
00:53:50.000 And you don't feel uncomfortable when you're standing next to a fucking bear.
00:53:53.000 You're supposed to be shitting your pants when you're looking at a bear, man.
00:53:55.000 That is not normal to get comfortable looking at a bear.
00:53:59.000 You should be terrified, man.
00:54:01.000 That fucking thing is only a few feet from you.
00:54:03.000 You trust that glass?
00:54:04.000 Let's get out of here!
00:54:05.000 Yeah, man.
00:54:07.000 It's the repercussions of dealing with people on the internet.
00:54:09.000 It's very annoying.
00:54:10.000 Do you post stuff on the internet?
00:54:12.000 Do you have blogs or anything like that?
00:54:13.000 I mean, my life has been so damn crazy lately that I've just...
00:54:18.000 Constantly teaching and writing?
00:54:19.000 Teaching a bunch.
00:54:20.000 I mean, I let a lot of bad shit happen because my wife died a few months ago.
00:54:25.000 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, man.
00:54:26.000 I'm a two-year-old baby.
00:54:28.000 So, you know, you can imagine that alone takes a hell of a lot of time and energy and everything.
00:54:32.000 And then, you know, still working, teaching, writing, doing...
00:54:36.000 So, I'm just like...
00:54:38.000 You know, I'll keep up on, you know, email, Facebook kind of stuff, but I've been trying to save whatever energy Yeah.
00:54:50.000 Yeah.
00:54:51.000 But yeah, do you take a lot of vitamins and eat healthy?
00:54:54.000 Yeah, I'm trying to work on that because I feel it in my body in the last few months.
00:54:57.000 It's just too much stress, too much everything.
00:54:59.000 So I'm just trying.
00:55:00.000 I've been used to it.
00:55:01.000 I worked out forever for 20 years.
00:55:03.000 Now this last year I've hardly been able to.
00:55:05.000 And so of course, all of this stuff then takes a toll.
00:55:08.000 So I'm trying to, you know, not become, you know, the Unabomber or something.
00:55:13.000 Cutting away from everything and everybody, but at the same time save some energy for just breathing, you know.
00:55:19.000 Yeah, that's important, man.
00:55:20.000 It's important.
00:55:21.000 It's very hard, especially people with children.
00:55:23.000 When people don't understand when they have a baby, Is you now have a human being taken care of.
00:55:30.000 It's not like a pet.
00:55:32.000 You have to be with it 24 hours a day.
00:55:34.000 If it's little and you have to take a shit, you know what you have to do?
00:55:37.000 You have to lock it in the room with you while you're taking a shit.
00:55:39.000 Of course.
00:55:40.000 And you have to keep it from pulling the things out of the drawers and killing itself by climbing up on something that it can't support.
00:55:47.000 It's a constant...
00:55:48.000 It's a lot of work.
00:55:50.000 I'm amazed that anybody has kids.
00:55:52.000 I'm like, How the hell does anybody do this?
00:55:54.000 And I love her.
00:55:55.000 I mean, she's not even a hard baby.
00:55:56.000 She's an easy, sweet baby, but still.
00:55:59.000 Jesus Christ, it takes so much energy.
00:56:01.000 Yeah, it takes a lot of energy.
00:56:03.000 And what you get out of it, they're little drug dispensers.
00:56:05.000 What you get out of it is love in the purest form possible, cut straight from the source.
00:56:10.000 The love that you get from babies, man.
00:56:12.000 Oh, my God.
00:56:13.000 People who don't have kids really will never truly understand this experience.
00:56:18.000 Because you can think you love a dog.
00:56:20.000 Because you do.
00:56:21.000 I love my dogs.
00:56:22.000 I see them.
00:56:23.000 They're sweet.
00:56:23.000 And they give me kisses.
00:56:24.000 And I'm happy.
00:56:25.000 But there's a feeling that you get when it's a baby that's your own flesh and blood.
00:56:30.000 And they're just little bundles of love.
00:56:33.000 And they're little bundles of happiness.
00:56:34.000 And you can directly influence them.
00:56:36.000 them.
00:56:37.000 You can directly shape their life and they're looking for you to do that.
00:56:41.000 They need you around all the time and they constantly want you to hold them and pick them up and touch them.
00:56:47.000 They're constantly screaming for you to touch them.
00:56:49.000 It's amazing to watch that from the source, to see an...
00:56:55.000 A life form, a unique life form with no language that's communicating with just intent and noises.
00:57:02.000 It wants you to do things for it.
00:57:03.000 And what it wants you to do is real simple.
00:57:05.000 It wants love.
00:57:05.000 It wants to play.
00:57:07.000 It doesn't want to be left alone.
00:57:08.000 Makes sense.
00:57:09.000 Absolutely.
00:57:10.000 So much work.
00:57:11.000 Yeah.
00:57:12.000 So how do you keep saying?
00:57:14.000 Do you have like a workout you do or meditation or yoga or anything?
00:57:19.000 I think honestly, right now I've been burning the candle on both hands so I don't know that I have to answer to that because I don't think I've been doing a good job at it.
00:57:27.000 I think I've been handling things but I'm feeling lately my body kind of giving me signals like, hey man, you're going over the edge.
00:57:34.000 You need to tone it down.
00:57:34.000 You don't smoke cigarettes or anything, do you?
00:57:36.000 No.
00:57:36.000 No, I don't.
00:57:39.000 Workout has always been my thing but then again when you don't have the physical time anymore so I need to find the times to do it and so that's kind of what I'm working on being able to just train again and do all this stuff because I mean with martial arts I've been doing it 20 years it's been like one of the things that you do day in and day out forever and suddenly you don't do that anymore you're like oh shit your body goes through withdrawal you feel weird so it's key to do it because it doesn't matter how busy you get it's key to your health in a way Yeah,
00:58:08.000 I remember I tore a ligament in my leg.
00:58:10.000 It was the first, like, real serious injury that took me out for months and months.
00:58:14.000 I tore a knee ligament, and I had to get it reconstructed.
00:58:16.000 And then I didn't work out for a long time.
00:58:19.000 And it was the first time in my life that I hadn't done that.
00:58:22.000 Right.
00:58:22.000 You know, and I had always used martial arts for blowing off steam.
00:58:26.000 And now, all of a sudden, I was at this place where I was like, wow, I just, you know, I'm not in control of my emotions as well.
00:58:33.000 I have a short temper.
00:58:36.000 I don't feel my body the same way.
00:58:38.000 When you use your body a lot, you develop this real tight relationship with your body, like how it moves.
00:58:45.000 And it makes you want to eat healthy.
00:58:48.000 It makes you want to take care of it because you realize that it's communicating with you.
00:58:52.000 It's communicating with you through movement, through your desire and intent to do something and its actual ability to perform what your desire and intent is.
00:59:00.000 And you get this relationship with your body.
00:59:02.000 And I didn't have it anymore.
00:59:03.000 I had no relationship with my body.
00:59:05.000 I was like, wow, this is weird.
00:59:06.000 Every day I just wake up and eat and piss.
00:59:08.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:59:10.000 That's what I'm using my body for.
00:59:11.000 It's just a vehicle.
00:59:12.000 I'm not communicating with it anymore.
00:59:14.000 Welcome to the life of most people in the world.
00:59:16.000 Yeah.
00:59:16.000 You communicate with your body through things.
00:59:19.000 Through sex, through martial arts, through dance.
00:59:22.000 You communicate when you require your body to move in very specific ways.
00:59:28.000 There's a consciousness to that that's very uniquely its own.
00:59:33.000 The consciousness of the full focus and concentration of someone utilizing their body.
00:59:39.000 Because I really do believe that that is an element of the whole and that you have to, in order to be optimally healthy, you have to have the whole together.
00:59:48.000 You have to have the mind must be healthy, the consciousness must be healthy, the body must be healthy.
00:59:53.000 Yeah, and I went through a long period.
00:59:55.000 It was like six months, you know, rehabbing my knee after the surgery and everything like that, where I still couldn't kick a bag, I couldn't box, I couldn't run.
01:00:03.000 That really sucks.
01:00:04.000 Yeah, it makes you realize, it makes you really fucking appreciate your body when you can, though.
01:00:09.000 Seriously.
01:00:10.000 So what martial arts were you doing?
01:00:12.000 It's funny.
01:00:13.000 I started out originally watching the Kung Fu TV series too many times, I think.
01:00:18.000 So I was just like, I want to go on a mountain with Master Yoda showing me how to fly in the air.
01:00:24.000 So I started out with a lot of Chinese martial arts, and then I progressively moved to more self-defense oriented things.
01:00:31.000 Kind of the opposite of what most people do.
01:00:33.000 We start out with very aggressive and then they mellow out.
01:00:36.000 I started out all, it's all about Zen and poetry and things.
01:00:39.000 And now I'm just like, shut up, let's just wrestle, you know.
01:00:43.000 Just all about combat sports and submission grappling, MMA, that kind of thing.
01:00:48.000 Well, I think, you know, there's definitely a mindset to the Eastern martial arts that is being lost in the transition to combat sports, you know, to look at combat sports.
01:01:01.000 There's something to be gained from that mindset.
01:01:04.000 What people don't understand is that, like, the ancient Japanese martial arts masters, you know, the reason why they practiced Zen thinking wasn't because It's just, you know, a thing they did that, you know, really doesn't need to be replicated today.
01:01:21.000 No, what they were doing was, in order to have a way, in order to have a way of thinking of life, they were disciplining the mind to behave on very specific frequencies and to have control over itself.
01:01:32.000 And that in your discipline and in your honor and your code, you have control over your emotions, you have control over your body better.
01:01:41.000 You have control over your psyche better because you have an ethic, because you have a code.
01:01:45.000 And that there's a reason for that.
01:01:48.000 It benefits you in combat.
01:01:49.000 It benefits you to be sturdy of mind.
01:01:52.000 So in order to practice this mental discipline, it actually puts you in a better position for victory.
01:01:57.000 It's why it's there.
01:01:58.000 Shit, I've done...
01:01:59.000 I remember...
01:02:00.000 I'm not the...
01:02:01.000 I think I'm kind of a wimpertard, so every time I've competed...
01:02:04.000 A wimpertard?
01:02:05.000 No, I get freaked out.
01:02:07.000 I get scared when I have to fight, you know.
01:02:09.000 Some guys are, you know, you read Chuck Liddell or Randy, these guys who speak, they don't know what it means to be afraid.
01:02:14.000 I'm like, what the fuck do you mean?
01:02:16.000 It's like the scariest thing in the world.
01:02:17.000 This guy has been training forever to knock your head off.
01:02:20.000 So I walked up and the days before, the time when I step on the mat, I feel like everything in my body is shutting down.
01:02:28.000 I'm about to die kind of feeling, you know.
01:02:30.000 Everything freezes and And so I can see how the whole Zen thing is not about having some strange mystical thought, it's about how do you deal with the fact that this is what you're gonna do, and you do it without too much attachment, because attachment will breed fear, fear will shut you down, and then you'll get killed.
01:02:48.000 Yeah, you gotta control your body.
01:02:50.000 That's really ultimately what it is.
01:02:52.000 And the ability to control your mind is the same as the ability to control your body.
01:02:57.000 Because if you can't control your mind, you can't control your emotions, they can run amok, your possibilities.
01:03:02.000 The real problem is you're intelligent.
01:03:04.000 That's the real problem.
01:03:05.000 And it's true.
01:03:06.000 And when you're intelligent, you realize, hey, we don't have to do this.
01:03:10.000 This is an elective choice you're making to go and enter your body into some physical combat with another man.
01:03:15.000 Let's get the fuck out of here.
01:03:16.000 That's intelligent.
01:03:17.000 Let's go eat something.
01:03:18.000 Exactly.
01:03:19.000 That's intelligent.
01:03:20.000 You're a smart person to think that way.
01:03:22.000 Your body thinks it's going to fight, you know, and your body doesn't want to do it.
01:03:25.000 So it starts, you know, just essentially trying to pull you out of it.
01:03:29.000 But at the same time, it's like the most instructive thing in the world because it teaches you to get rid of attachments.
01:03:35.000 Because, you know, you live with attachment of fears and all these things about you hope that the universe is not gonna do this and that to you.
01:03:42.000 And the reality is, in combat, like in life, you don't control jack shit.
01:03:46.000 You do the best you can and then it's out of your hands and you need to be able to live through it despite the obvious fear that kicks in from self-preservation.
01:03:55.000 And so it's like, hey man, maybe you die in a second.
01:03:58.000 So what?
01:03:58.000 Yeah, it's not good.
01:04:00.000 It doesn't feel good to work hard, but it's good to work hard.
01:04:03.000 It's good to train hard.
01:04:05.000 It's good to push your body and your spirit.
01:04:07.000 And that is a part of it, your spirit.
01:04:09.000 I have friends that are men, and I'm not talking about you, Brian, that are...
01:04:14.000 Yeah, you are.
01:04:15.000 That have no experience whatsoever in any sort of difficult physical endeavor.
01:04:22.000 And it haunts them.
01:04:23.000 It haunts them.
01:04:24.000 Like, they get insecure when they're around guys who are athletic.
01:04:28.000 They'll say, you know, dicky things.
01:04:30.000 And it's like to disarm this person of their masculinity because they've never truly faced their own physicality.
01:04:36.000 And they're terrified of it.
01:04:38.000 It's fascinating.
01:04:38.000 It's fascinating to watch.
01:04:40.000 Watch them have, like, these little weird sort of semi-meltdowns and they're around, you know, strong men.
01:04:45.000 It's like the least you train, the tougher you think you are.
01:04:47.000 That's the way it goes.
01:04:49.000 You can build all these stories about, oh, I'm this tough guy.
01:04:52.000 Then when you step up, you quickly find out.
01:04:54.000 Those guys are funny when they want to talk about, I'm undefeated in bar fights.
01:04:57.000 Tell you that, I fought 15 times.
01:04:59.000 It's like, yeah, fine.
01:05:01.000 You fought 15 people, they don't know what the fuck they're doing.
01:05:03.000 Or you're soccer punching people.
01:05:05.000 Yeah.
01:05:06.000 When your friend is distracting them.
01:05:08.000 You don't train at all, and you've been knocking out 15 dudes?
01:05:11.000 Okay.
01:05:12.000 You're going to get fucked up if you keep this up.
01:05:14.000 One day, you're going to run into Bas Rootin at the bar, and he's going to fucking do one of those instructional videos on your head.
01:05:20.000 Bang!
01:05:21.000 Bang!
01:05:22.000 Slank!
01:05:22.000 Can you imagine?
01:05:23.000 I like to put your fingers in your ass.
01:05:25.000 Bully asshole and you run into a guy like Boss Root in a bar.
01:05:28.000 Oh, what a mistake.
01:05:30.000 Especially if he tries to be nice to you and you mistake that for him being weak.
01:05:33.000 Yep.
01:05:34.000 Whoopsies.
01:05:35.000 Yeah, we were watching.
01:05:37.000 I had Eddie Bravo in here the other day and we were watching Minotauro Noguera versus Bob Sapp.
01:05:42.000 Oh, that's awesome.
01:05:43.000 That's classic.
01:05:43.000 Isn't that classic?
01:05:45.000 Brian, you saw it too.
01:05:46.000 It was a cartoon fight.
01:05:49.000 A real cartoon fight.
01:05:51.000 In my opinion, the best example of technique over power that this guy, Minotaro, this 230 pound guy was ever to beat this 350 plus pound monster of a man who didn't even look real.
01:06:07.000 That is an amazing, amazing fight.
01:06:09.000 And that's a guy, Minotauro, he's a real martial artist.
01:06:14.000 He's a real, like, true warrior.
01:06:19.000 You know, a guy who became a master of jiu-jitsu and then became a great striker to add on to it and was just willing to fight anybody.
01:06:28.000 And I think it started way back in the day because, I mean, when he was, I forget, 10, 11, whatever, when he had a car accident and he was in a hospital for a year where they tell him you'll never walk again.
01:06:38.000 Maybe you'll walk, but maybe definitely no sports.
01:06:41.000 And the guy goes on to become an MMA champion.
01:06:43.000 It's like, let's say something about the guy's personality.
01:06:46.000 I remember when he was at the top of his game, man, when he was triangling everybody, and you just saw jiu-jitsu on a level that you had never seen before.
01:06:54.000 All of a sudden, this badass heavyweight who was tough as fuck, who had a wicked guard, a wicked jiu-jitsu game, was hitting...
01:07:02.000 Anaconda chokes on dudes and fucking strangle him from his back.
01:07:06.000 And you're like, whoa, this dude is on another level.
01:07:09.000 That was, to me, a real victory for technique in mixed martial arts.
01:07:15.000 In my opinion, Minotauro embodies this era where people learn, whoa, that's possible too.
01:07:21.000 We were not seeing guys on the highest levels submitting guys the way Minotauro was.
01:07:28.000 He's so awesome.
01:07:29.000 How about the crow cup fight?
01:07:30.000 He gets...
01:07:31.000 Battered by Krokop in the first round.
01:07:34.000 Fucking smashed.
01:07:35.000 He gets head kicked by the guy who knocked out everybody with head kicks.
01:07:40.000 And somehow or another, he eats it and he's okay.
01:07:42.000 And he gets up at the bottom of the round.
01:07:44.000 At the end of the round, he gets head kicked and dropped like seconds before the round ends.
01:07:48.000 And he thought the referee stopped the fight.
01:07:50.000 And the referee's like, nope, the round's over.
01:07:51.000 He's like, okay, let's stop this fucking fight.
01:07:53.000 And he goes back and he takes him down and he armbars him in the second round.
01:07:56.000 But he took up.
01:07:57.000 Beating in that first round like god damn that dude is tough.
01:08:01.000 You got to love those guys or Sakuraba or those guys.
01:08:04.000 Oh my god.
01:08:04.000 Crazy wars.
01:08:05.000 Sakuraba, by the time his career was over, he was essentially going in to the ring with his legs mummified.
01:08:11.000 Yeah, I was insane.
01:08:12.000 His knees were so bad that he would have tape that would go all the way up to the top of his thigh and all the way down to his ankles.
01:08:19.000 It was crazy.
01:08:20.000 Yeah.
01:08:21.000 That was another guy that was like a real, like, classic technique and heart oversized guy.
01:08:28.000 Do you remember when he fought Quinton Jackson and Quinton kept his lap over and over?
01:08:32.000 And he got his back!
01:08:33.000 Sacco was all relaxed and just flowing.
01:08:34.000 I'm like, Jesus, how do you stay relaxed when some monster is lifting you?
01:08:38.000 Yeah.
01:08:39.000 Well, his jiu-jitsu was beautiful.
01:08:40.000 He was so tough.
01:08:41.000 He was so, like, willing to take punishment.
01:08:44.000 You know, he was technical, but he was also brave.
01:08:47.000 You know, he's willing to take punishment.
01:08:49.000 And essentially, really, he should have been a 170-pounder.
01:08:52.000 I mean, he was walking around at 189 pounds without cutting any weight at all, and he was a little fat.
01:08:57.000 And he was taking on heavy weights!
01:09:00.000 Can you imagine a default at 170?
01:09:02.000 What kind of a career he would have had?
01:09:04.000 Dude!
01:09:04.000 Dude, that guy fucking beat Conan Silveira with an arm bar.
01:09:08.000 Remember that shit?
01:09:09.000 Conan went for a fucking Kimura.
01:09:11.000 He spun around, caught him in an arm bar.
01:09:12.000 Bang!
01:09:13.000 That was a pure victory of technique over size.
01:09:18.000 That was a clear example of that.
01:09:20.000 He was an amazing fighter.
01:09:22.000 And another one who embodied that Japanese warrior spirit.
01:09:26.000 And that's what they loved about him.
01:09:28.000 His willingness to go out there and throw it down with anybody.
01:09:32.000 Anyone.
01:09:32.000 Even Vanderlei Silva who beat the fuck out of him three times.
01:09:35.000 He kept stepping up.
01:09:36.000 He kept stepping up, man.
01:09:37.000 And that last one when he got knocked out and Vanderlei caught him with two punches and literally sent him flying through the air as he skid unconscious on his back.
01:09:47.000 Wow.
01:09:48.000 Scary, scary.
01:09:48.000 The Melvin Manhoof fight, when he fought Melvin Manhoof?
01:09:51.000 No, Jesus, I feel bad for the guy.
01:09:52.000 He just took so many beatings.
01:09:54.000 Oh, my God!
01:09:55.000 No one's taking more beatings than Sakuraba.
01:09:57.000 Dude, Melvin Manhoof is a destroyer.
01:10:00.000 When that guy starts teeing off on you, he's one of the most terrifying strikers in any martial art, you know, when he's attacking.
01:10:07.000 He's just so strong and fast and just blasting Sakuraba.
01:10:12.000 And the fucking guy came back after that and he kept fighting.
01:10:15.000 Right.
01:10:15.000 I mean, he's still fighting.
01:10:16.000 Yeah, I know.
01:10:17.000 I mean, I feel...
01:10:18.000 He's weird.
01:10:19.000 He's perverted.
01:10:19.000 Like, well, I want to see him fight, but then I want him to retire, you know?
01:10:22.000 Oh, I would love him to retire.
01:10:24.000 We could watch his old fights.
01:10:25.000 Yeah, I think you're right.
01:10:26.000 So many classics.
01:10:27.000 He was involved in so many Fight of the Year candidates, you know?
01:10:30.000 I mean, even when he was broken up, when was that, like a year ago or two years ago, when he had the fight with Galezig, I think he was, where he put the guy in the kneebar and the guy hit him like 50 straight times, no protection, and the guy stayed with it so he could get the kneebar and win the fight.
01:10:44.000 Yeah.
01:10:44.000 How do you stay with that technique when you're getting hits?
01:10:47.000 Oh, he doesn't give a fuck.
01:10:48.000 It's amazing.
01:10:49.000 He's got unbelievable determination.
01:10:50.000 What about the Zoromskis fight where his ear fell off?
01:10:53.000 Oh, my God.
01:10:54.000 His ear literally...
01:10:55.000 Sakuraba has these gigantic cauliflower ears.
01:10:59.000 And for people who don't know what that means, when you wrestle a lot or you get hit in the ear a lot, when it breaks up the tissue, it fills up with fluid and blood and then it hardens.
01:11:08.000 It becomes almost like cartilage, like really thick stuff.
01:11:12.000 You have to have that shit cut out.
01:11:14.000 And a lot of guys, they get an ear that becomes like this.
01:11:17.000 It literally looks like a mouse is under their skin.
01:11:20.000 And that's what it looked like with Sakuraba.
01:11:21.000 The whole thing was deformed.
01:11:23.000 Randy Couture actually uses his in grappling because it's hard.
01:11:27.000 So when he takes guys down, he'll actually shove his ear into parts of them and make them uncomfortable.
01:11:34.000 He'll fucking jab them with his ears, man.
01:11:37.000 Those are hard weapons on the side of his head.
01:11:39.000 It's really kind of crazy.
01:11:42.000 Sakuraba's ear was really fucked up, and it always had tape on it.
01:11:46.000 It was always getting cut in training and shit.
01:11:48.000 And this dude hit him with something.
01:11:49.000 I forget what he hit him with, but the fucking ear was hanging off of his head.
01:11:53.000 Yeah, it was just hanging off.
01:11:54.000 And Zoromsky was like, dude, your fucking ear!
01:11:57.000 Like, he even stopped fighting.
01:11:58.000 He was like, whoa, dude, you might want to look at that.
01:12:01.000 What's going on here?
01:12:02.000 They stitched it up.
01:12:03.000 Has he fought since then?
01:12:04.000 He did.
01:12:05.000 Jesus Christ.
01:12:06.000 I hope he stops.
01:12:07.000 He's not going to stop.
01:12:09.000 He's not going to stop, but they're not going to have him stop.
01:12:11.000 Right.
01:12:11.000 They're going to keep asking him to keep doing it, and he'll keep doing it.
01:12:14.000 But, I mean, if they were smart, at least they would pair him with, like, old legends and then mellow matches.
01:12:19.000 That would even make sense, at least.
01:12:20.000 They throw him in with werewolves.
01:12:21.000 Yeah, that's just fucked up.
01:12:23.000 Does he still smoke?
01:12:25.000 You know, I never know the reality.
01:12:27.000 You'd always hear the story about him chain-smoking and drinking all the time.
01:12:31.000 That's what I always heard.
01:12:32.000 I think that's true, man.
01:12:34.000 Yeah, he trained hard, but I'm pretty sure he actually chain-smoked and drank.
01:12:39.000 I love Saco.
01:12:40.000 I mean, it's just...
01:12:42.000 They need to make a movie about that guy.
01:12:44.000 He's amazing.
01:12:45.000 You know, there's something funny about Japanese culture because they are so by the book in so many ways, but when the guys go off the model, they really go off.
01:12:54.000 Yeah, they get mohawks and tattoo their whole body.
01:12:57.000 There's one guy I had.
01:12:58.000 I love this guy that I put in the book.
01:13:01.000 His name is Ikkyu.
01:13:02.000 He's the Zen master from, I want to say the 1300s, 1400s, something like that.
01:13:07.000 And this is your book on the warrior's path?
01:13:09.000 No, this one is the one that's coming out this week.
01:13:11.000 Yeah, in the religion book.
01:13:12.000 This dude was the illegitimate son of the emperor of Japan.
01:13:17.000 And so they had to kind of...
01:13:18.000 His mom just hid him in a monastery somewhere so that he wouldn't get killed in Palance Conspiracy trying to get rid of the possible hair.
01:13:25.000 So, you know, this poor kid grew up in the middle of this fucked up Zen monastery in the cold and whatever, just trying to stay alive.
01:13:32.000 And so, fine.
01:13:33.000 You know, not the most fun in the world, but he grows up that way.
01:13:37.000 Absolute genius.
01:13:38.000 Everybody said, Jesus, nobody grasps Zen the way this guy does.
01:13:41.000 He's so smart.
01:13:42.000 He's so this, he's so that.
01:13:43.000 But precisely because he's so smart, he just flipped them off one day and he decided when they give him...
01:13:49.000 In Zen they have this thing they call the Certificate of Enlightenment, where a master certified that you are truly enlightened.
01:13:55.000 Wow.
01:13:55.000 He picked it up and he was like, Certificate of Enlightenment?
01:13:59.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
01:14:00.000 You know, he burned it and he was like, come on, you know.
01:14:03.000 That is pretty preposterous.
01:14:05.000 They were trying to really mean and trying to keep him in the fold by giving him, you know, we'll make you abbot of this monastery and stuff.
01:14:11.000 A week later, nobody can find him.
01:14:13.000 They find this poem that he left behind saying basically how, Jesus, a week in this monastery, I can't take it anymore.
01:14:19.000 If anybody's looking for me, I'm either at the brothel or at the sake shop.
01:14:23.000 And that's the rest of his life.
01:14:25.000 He goes off being this kind of wandering teacher whose main passions are Zen, Hookers, and Saki.
01:14:32.000 And that's all that he loves.
01:14:34.000 What is his name?
01:14:36.000 I-K-K-Y-U. Wow.
01:14:39.000 It's my all-time hero.
01:14:40.000 I love the guy.
01:14:41.000 Oh, I love that.
01:14:42.000 He figured it out.
01:14:43.000 It sounds like my friend Bad Bobby.
01:14:47.000 Bad body from Vancouver.
01:14:48.000 He figured it out.
01:14:50.000 Hookers and just sake.
01:14:52.000 Yeah, basically.
01:14:53.000 And to him, Zen and it was all...
01:14:56.000 To him, real Zen was living life with full awareness.
01:15:00.000 That's Zen.
01:15:01.000 You can do it meditating in a mountain if that makes you feel good.
01:15:04.000 You can do it in a brothel if that makes you feel good.
01:15:06.000 It's about having full awareness.
01:15:08.000 It's not about what you're doing as much.
01:15:10.000 It's about whether you're awake and you're alive to what's Or whether you're going through the motion and you're not really there.
01:15:17.000 And whether or not you're just reacting to every single thing mindlessly around you.
01:15:21.000 By the way, there really is no true enlightenment.
01:15:23.000 Because even true enlightenment for a human is just true enlightenment for a human.
01:15:27.000 Our little brains can't really...
01:15:29.000 We're not set up right.
01:15:31.000 We are essentially just like this old shitty computer we have that's running all this equipment.
01:15:36.000 We really do not have the hardware to deal with the scenario at hand.
01:15:40.000 We're fucked.
01:15:41.000 So even enlightenment for a person is just enlightenment for a person.
01:15:44.000 The best you can do is keep it together mildly.
01:15:48.000 It's so funny.
01:15:50.000 You know, everybody is searching for that.
01:15:52.000 And what you're searching for is, you know, ultimately a better feeling about your experience here.
01:15:58.000 Right.
01:15:58.000 You know, that's what we're all searching for.
01:16:00.000 Whether it's through religion or through meditation or through yoga.
01:16:03.000 I have a friend who, their family was very religious until recently, a few years ago.
01:16:08.000 They started to kind of, I don't know what brought them out of it, but they started to kind of see it differently.
01:16:13.000 And now they're experiencing their first year or two years completely away from their church.
01:16:19.000 Mm-hmm.
01:16:19.000 And the wife is starting to get into yoga and the dude is experimenting with a bunch of different things and trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in the world.
01:16:27.000 But it's weird to watch someone come out of it.
01:16:29.000 It's weird to watch someone go, you know what?
01:16:33.000 Maybe this is a mistake here.
01:16:35.000 Well, you guys are nice.
01:16:36.000 I enjoy hanging out with you.
01:16:37.000 But shit, come on.
01:16:40.000 Their own mind has evolved.
01:16:43.000 Their personal consciousness has evolved.
01:16:46.000 Past an ideology.
01:16:48.000 And that's a big decision to make.
01:16:50.000 Very hard.
01:16:51.000 Huge.
01:16:51.000 It's bigger than breaking up with a girlfriend.
01:16:54.000 I don't know about that, but close.
01:16:57.000 It depends on how religious you are, but if you're really active with the church and then you're going to leave them...
01:17:02.000 It's enormous.
01:17:03.000 It doesn't get any bigger.
01:17:05.000 It also depends on how tight that girl is.
01:17:07.000 Yeah, that's true, right?
01:17:08.000 And whether or not she's a freak.
01:17:10.000 Whether or not you know, just turn her loose for one day.
01:17:12.000 Like, she's loyal, but you turn her loose for one day, and she's in a fucking gangbang.
01:17:15.000 And you can't take that gangbang back.
01:17:17.000 And there's that thing where she always really wanted to get with a black eye, but she never had.
01:17:21.000 I didn't know.
01:17:22.000 The moment she's loose...
01:17:23.000 Joe, did you see that video of the octopus walking out of the water?
01:17:27.000 Yeah.
01:17:27.000 How creepy is that?
01:17:28.000 Well, you know, there's a video of an octopus climbing out of its aquarium, walking across the floor...
01:17:34.000 What?
01:17:34.000 ...and going up to another aquarium that's in the same room and eating fish and then climbing back in its aquarium.
01:17:40.000 Yeah.
01:17:40.000 The reason why I know this...
01:17:41.000 I haven't seen it, but the reason why I know this is because a friend was trying to...
01:17:46.000 Explain to me how intelligent octopuses are, that they can take food and put it in a jar, and the octopus will unscrew the jar and get at the food.
01:17:55.000 And that a guy was missing some of his tropical fish, and he had a couple of fish tanks, and one of them was right next to, you know, the octopus was right next to this one with, like, this is a really expensive fish.
01:18:05.000 This fucking octopus was climbing out, climbing up into the next tank, lifting the fucking lid up and getting inside and eating the fish, and then climbing back to his place.
01:18:14.000 Pretending.
01:18:15.000 Nobody knows.
01:18:16.000 He thought about it.
01:18:17.000 He's like, listen, if I hang out here, this motherfucker's going to know that I can get into this tank.
01:18:21.000 So the dude had to set up a camera.
01:18:23.000 He set up a camera and caught this octopus doing it.
01:18:26.000 Jesus.
01:18:26.000 That's intense.
01:18:27.000 I haven't seen the video, though.
01:18:28.000 So it might be horseshit.
01:18:29.000 It might be internet legend.
01:18:30.000 Tweet it.
01:18:31.000 Yeah, tweet it.
01:18:32.000 It's a good start.
01:18:33.000 Whoever's listening, there's enough people listening.
01:18:35.000 We don't need to tweet this.
01:18:36.000 This is ridiculous.
01:18:39.000 I'm going to leave it at that, Brian.
01:18:41.000 No, I mean, tweet it so I can see it.
01:18:43.000 Somebody, yeah.
01:18:44.000 If they find it, folks, tweet it.
01:18:45.000 Yeah.
01:18:46.000 Somebody.
01:18:47.000 If it's out there.
01:18:47.000 It might not be out there.
01:18:48.000 It might not be real.
01:18:50.000 But how do we get on the subject?
01:18:54.000 Octopuses killing things, climbing out and being intelligent.
01:18:58.000 Have you seen the evidence for a kraken?
01:19:02.000 Have you seen the evidence for a giant octopus of legend?
01:19:06.000 There's always been a legend of an octopus that can devour ships and a huge whale eating.
01:19:12.000 Well, they actually have found evidence of this thing.
01:19:16.000 Like a wooden boy inside the octopus?
01:19:18.000 No, they actually found whale bones.
01:19:21.000 And the whale bones are fucked up.
01:19:24.000 And so that means there's something that is big enough to go kill a goddamn whale.
01:19:29.000 And they also found fossilized imprints of giant suction cups.
01:19:34.000 And that's what leads them to believe that the possible...
01:19:36.000 You see, the thing about an octopus is there's no bones, really.
01:19:39.000 There's nothing going to be left.
01:19:41.000 There's no fossilized octopus.
01:19:43.000 It's not like a bird or something else.
01:19:45.000 You can get the structure of the animal.
01:19:47.000 It's essentially all soft tissue except for its beak.
01:19:50.000 So it dissolves.
01:19:51.000 It doesn't exist anymore.
01:19:52.000 But it was on the ocean floor that they had these imprints, these fossilized imprints of what looked like massive suction cups of a huge tentacle.
01:20:01.000 And by that, they're making this pretty reasonable hypothesis, you know, and the bones of the whale being all fucked up, and then these giant suction cups that like, oh, there probably was this real monster that lived...
01:20:16.000 I mean, if there's a whale...
01:20:17.000 I mean, just a whale's ridiculous enough.
01:20:19.000 That's...
01:20:21.000 As weird as it gets, man.
01:20:22.000 A super smart, giant, big thing that can't do anything, and it has to breathe air.
01:20:27.000 It lives in the ocean and it breathes air.
01:20:30.000 Like, what?
01:20:31.000 That's so stupid.
01:20:33.000 The design there didn't quite work out.
01:20:35.000 It's ridiculous!
01:20:36.000 It lives in the water, but yet it can go down the water for a little bit, but it's got to come up for air.
01:20:40.000 And it can't even stop.
01:20:42.000 It can't stop.
01:20:43.000 Because if it stops, then it'll fucking sink and then it'll drown.
01:20:48.000 That's fucking it.
01:20:49.000 How do they, do they even sleep?
01:20:50.000 They don't even sleep, right?
01:20:51.000 They think they like, like dolphins, they like partially sleep.
01:20:54.000 They like shut most of their brain off for a couple hours a day.
01:20:57.000 You see this video of the octopus opening the jar to get the food inside and then shutting the jar?
01:21:02.000 Oh yeah, I have seen this, yeah.
01:21:04.000 Damn.
01:21:05.000 Have you seen the octopus jack the shark?
01:21:07.000 No.
01:21:07.000 What?
01:21:08.000 Yeah, there was another one in the aquarium.
01:21:09.000 They were finding a lot of sharks were missing.
01:21:11.000 They were trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.
01:21:13.000 And they put a video camera up and they saw...
01:21:16.000 You can watch that.
01:21:17.000 That one definitely exists.
01:21:18.000 If you look for octopus eats shark...
01:21:22.000 And this fucking octopus just jump on this shark and jack him.
01:21:25.000 Damn.
01:21:26.000 It's just jiu-jitsu.
01:21:27.000 Once they get a hold of his body, he's helpless.
01:21:29.000 They just eat him.
01:21:30.000 You know, it's really simple.
01:21:31.000 Everybody thinks, oh, who would win, a shark or an octopus?
01:21:33.000 Oh, dude, for sure a shark.
01:21:35.000 The fuck it would.
01:21:36.000 Octopus move fast.
01:21:37.000 Shark is stupid.
01:21:37.000 They try to bite you.
01:21:38.000 You just wrap that bitch up.
01:21:40.000 Watch this shit.
01:21:40.000 It's kind of crazy.
01:21:42.000 It's hard to see on this.
01:21:43.000 The TV behind you.
01:21:44.000 Yeah, there you go.
01:21:45.000 The TV behind you.
01:21:46.000 And I can look at this one back here.
01:21:47.000 But this octopus just fucked the shark up, man.
01:21:50.000 The shark was like, yeah, man, I'm a shark.
01:21:52.000 I'm just going to fuck somebody up today.
01:21:54.000 The shark never thought that anybody was going to eat him.
01:21:57.000 Sharks don't even really have any natural predators.
01:21:59.000 You know, I mean, who the fuck's running around eating sharks?
01:22:01.000 Occasionally an orca will kill a shark.
01:22:03.000 But they only do it because the sharks are too close to their babies.
01:22:06.000 They're not, like, trying to eat them.
01:22:08.000 It's pretty rare.
01:22:10.000 Look at this stupid fucking shark.
01:22:12.000 Yeah, man.
01:22:14.000 I'm just running shit down here.
01:22:16.000 That's the live one right there.
01:22:22.000 That's crazy.
01:22:23.000 He's waiting.
01:22:25.000 How long can an octopus live outside of water, though?
01:22:27.000 When I saw that video, I was like, doesn't he need water?
01:22:31.000 I don't know, but lobsters can live outside a long fucking time.
01:22:34.000 You ever get a lobster in the mail?
01:22:37.000 No.
01:22:38.000 You can do that?
01:22:38.000 Yeah, you get lobsters in the mail.
01:22:40.000 That's crazy.
01:22:41.000 Yeah, and they're on ice.
01:22:42.000 Look at that.
01:22:42.000 Here it goes.
01:22:43.000 Bitch, come here.
01:22:45.000 The shark swims over the octopus, and the octopus just wraps this bitch up with some strong jujitsu.
01:22:51.000 That's total jujitsu, bro.
01:22:53.000 Look at his hooks.
01:22:54.000 Yeah, he's got his back.
01:22:55.000 He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, my friend.
01:22:57.000 Right now, this is De La Riva guard because he's trying to get away.
01:23:01.000 Looks like he's got ringworm also.
01:23:02.000 He's trying to bite him, too.
01:23:03.000 The shark might bite him a little, but here's the crazy thing about Octopus.
01:23:07.000 You can bite their limbs off.
01:23:08.000 It doesn't matter, bitch.
01:23:09.000 Grow another one.
01:23:10.000 They grow another one.
01:23:12.000 They're super adaptable.
01:23:14.000 So this shark is biting him, but so what?
01:23:16.000 He's just getting jacked.
01:23:18.000 He's getting totally anaconded here.
01:23:21.000 Spun around.
01:23:22.000 Yeah, their suction cups are badass, man.
01:23:25.000 It's a badass design.
01:23:26.000 Everything just pulls it into one center where there's a giant fucking beak.
01:23:31.000 And that beak just jacks your ass.
01:23:33.000 Wow.
01:23:35.000 That's cool.
01:23:35.000 That's nature.
01:23:36.000 Meanwhile, the crazy thing is their eyes and our eyes are very similar.
01:23:41.000 They're very similar biologically, which is amazing.
01:23:44.000 Somewhere along the line, some hundreds of millions of years ago, we were probably cousins of an octopus.
01:23:51.000 We branched off into different ways in the ocean floor.
01:23:54.000 We went one way, they went another way.
01:23:56.000 They went this way of just blending in their environment and jacking sharks.
01:24:01.000 And here we are, jacking the world.
01:24:03.000 That's awesome.
01:24:06.000 So, back to religion.
01:24:08.000 Let's come back to religion.
01:24:09.000 Did I ask you what was the oldest religion?
01:24:13.000 Yeah, I mean, I guess some form of animism is basically...
01:24:16.000 So you were telling me about the cave guys?
01:24:18.000 Yeah, for lack of a better term, scholars call it animism or shamanism or whatever you want to call it.
01:24:22.000 It's basically tribal religions, and they have enormous variation from one tribe to another, but they have some common themes.
01:24:29.000 They tend to see nature as alive, in nature as alive with spirits, spirits in everything from trees to animals to all sorts of stuff.
01:24:37.000 The idea, kind of like Star Wars, that there's a power in everything.
01:24:40.000 A force to it all.
01:24:41.000 Much like the force, exactly, that you can tap into.
01:24:44.000 And it has no morality.
01:24:45.000 It's not about you have to be a good person.
01:24:47.000 So there's some cool stuff out there.
01:24:50.000 But yeah, it varies tremendously from one tribe to the next.
01:24:54.000 And it wasn't written down.
01:24:55.000 It wasn't an organized region in that sense.
01:24:58.000 And I mean, some of that still exists to this day.
01:25:00.000 In some tribal culture, that's still what's going on.
01:25:02.000 What's the official belief as far as what's taught in schools when it comes to cattle worship?
01:25:08.000 Why are there so many cattle worshiping tribes?
01:25:11.000 Because it's delicious.
01:25:12.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:25:13.000 That's definitely true.
01:25:15.000 But they worship them as gods and they don't even eat them in some parts of the world.
01:25:19.000 Right, India and stuff.
01:25:20.000 How much does that have to do with psychedelic drugs?
01:25:22.000 Well, that's one of the theories about Hinduism.
01:25:25.000 It's about how a lot of it began with Soma.
01:25:27.000 And Soma was considered to be, some people say it was Amanita Muscaria, you know, the mushroom and...
01:25:32.000 They say that.
01:25:33.000 They also say Streferiocubensis, and it might have been a combination, sort of a cocktail that they put together.
01:25:40.000 It's amazing that if you know about their religion and the place that Soma played in it, that it was lost.
01:25:48.000 Like, we don't know what it is.
01:25:51.000 They would talk about Soma being greater than all these different things and Soma being amazing, but yeah, we don't know what Soma is.
01:25:57.000 Somehow or another, they lost what Soma is.
01:25:59.000 There's that guy, Gordon Wasson.
01:26:01.000 Actually, I think I put him in the book in there, too, because it was too much of a fun story.
01:26:05.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:26:06.000 I had that chapter entitled Peace, Drink, How did that one go?
01:26:11.000 Let me see.
01:26:12.000 And Wasson is the one who initially made psychedelic mushrooms popular with Western America.
01:26:18.000 Oh, yeah.
01:26:18.000 I have a chapter entitled Peace-Drinking Draghi Priests Created Hinduism.
01:26:24.000 Because one of the theories that Wasson has about that is that he believes he was Amanita Muscaria this summer.
01:26:30.000 And the way he figured it out, he went through a bunch of these books referring to some, and he was saying, you know, they keep talking about a plant, but they don't talk about leaves, they don't talk about, you know, they refer to stem, they refer to some weird crap, right?
01:26:42.000 And then, so he was thinking, he was starting to go in the mushroom direction, and then he finds out this piece of literature from somewhere else, where some shaman in Siberia, I think, was talking about how they...
01:26:54.000 Filter Amanita Muscaria.
01:26:55.000 And he had read about this triple filter that they're using for SOMA, where they do a couple of things to do it, and then there's a human filter.
01:27:02.000 And he was like, what the hell is a human filter?
01:27:04.000 He found out that if you take Amanita Muscaria, you get the high, but you also get really nauseous and weirded out.
01:27:11.000 And you have to drink your piss.
01:27:12.000 If you drink somebody else's piss, you get the high, but they get stuck with the cracky part.
01:27:20.000 They get all the side effects.
01:27:21.000 Really?
01:27:22.000 You don't.
01:27:22.000 Well, I know that people drink their own piss when they're tripping, when they're taking aminidia or when they're taking stropharia cubensis.
01:27:29.000 They'll drink their own urine and they blast off, apparently.
01:27:33.000 I talked to this dude.
01:27:34.000 He was like, I don't want to drink my piss.
01:27:36.000 This is crazy.
01:27:37.000 And everyone's like, dude, trust me.
01:27:38.000 Drink your piss.
01:27:38.000 He's like, I'm tripping balls.
01:27:40.000 And they're telling me I need to drink my piss to get higher than this.
01:27:42.000 He goes, I don't want to get higher than this.
01:27:44.000 Like, trust me.
01:27:44.000 Right.
01:27:44.000 And he goes, okay.
01:27:45.000 And he goes, I drink my piss.
01:27:47.000 And he goes, and all of a sudden, it was like a tornado opened up in front of my eyes.
01:27:53.000 And I got sucked through the center of it.
01:27:56.000 And he said it was the craziest trip and the most enlightening trip of his life.
01:28:01.000 Yeah, it's funny.
01:28:02.000 That at least is your own.
01:28:03.000 In this case, it's even grosser because it's somebody else.
01:28:06.000 It's just because you don't want to get the side effects.
01:28:08.000 I may or may not have watched people drink animal piss.
01:28:12.000 I may or may not have.
01:28:13.000 I can't discuss this.
01:28:14.000 How much money did you pay for that?
01:28:15.000 I can't discuss this until...
01:28:16.000 No, it was in person.
01:28:18.000 I didn't pay anything.
01:28:19.000 I actually got paid.
01:28:19.000 But it might not be real.
01:28:21.000 And I can't discuss this until...
01:28:26.000 Ironically and totally unrelated after Fear Factor starts airing, which airs in December 12th.
01:28:31.000 Cool.
01:28:33.000 The human filter was a popular thing.
01:28:36.000 People would just sell their own.
01:28:37.000 Would they sell it?
01:28:38.000 Would they just make a deal?
01:28:40.000 I don't know.
01:28:40.000 It's like one line in some 4,000-year-old book or something, so nobody really knows.
01:28:45.000 And it could be that Western is speculating and going off the deep end with that.
01:28:48.000 Could be.
01:28:48.000 But it's an interesting, it's a fun theory, if nothing else.
01:28:52.000 Amanita muscaria is a very strange mushroom because they believe it's not only variable genetically, but it's variable by location, seasonally, and that some of them might not even be psychoactive.
01:29:02.000 Some of them might not even work.
01:29:05.000 I've tried Amanita when nothing happened.
01:29:08.000 I tried it.
01:29:10.000 I went on a combinatory experience.
01:29:13.000 We tried the Amanita.
01:29:14.000 We tried it for a few hours and nothing took.
01:29:16.000 Then we took some regular mushrooms and then we blasted it off.
01:29:19.000 So it was a combination of the two of them was ultra-potent.
01:29:22.000 The Amanita did something weird, but it wasn't really getting you off.
01:29:27.000 It was just getting you to this weird headspace.
01:29:29.000 I was like, what is going on here?
01:29:31.000 Is this what this stuff is?
01:29:33.000 I just think it wasn't strong enough.
01:29:35.000 It wasn't good enough.
01:29:36.000 And I think there's parts of the world where they really know how to do it.
01:29:42.000 In Siberia, especially.
01:29:44.000 Especially in this thing about Siberia.
01:29:47.000 The Amanita muscaria mushroom is essentially Christmas.
01:29:50.000 It's essentially Santa Claus.
01:29:51.000 Well, people don't know that the Christmas theme and the mushroom theme are so closely related.
01:29:58.000 They're even the same color.
01:29:59.000 The Amanita mushroom is Santa Claus.
01:30:01.000 It's white and red.
01:30:03.000 And it has a mycorrhizal relationship with certain coniferous trees so that it grows only under those trees just like packages under your fucking Christmas tree.
01:30:14.000 It's really amazing.
01:30:16.000 And people would gather them and the way to dry them out was they would put them on the fucking trees, on the branches of the trees, so the sun would get them and it would dry them out.
01:30:25.000 It's like that's the ornaments on the trees.
01:30:27.000 It's like all of it is there.
01:30:29.000 There's so many connections.
01:30:31.000 And it's been argued that, you know, someone told me that Coca-Cola was the first one to actually make a red and white Santa Claus and that he was a different color before then.
01:30:38.000 But that's not really true.
01:30:40.000 There's evidence of red and white Santas from a long time ago.
01:30:44.000 Right.
01:30:44.000 But the Santa doesn't even matter.
01:30:46.000 What really matters is the fucking presence under the tree, the relationship that it has with the tree, the reason why we have Christmas trees and they're always fucking pine trees, man.
01:30:55.000 I mean, the whole thing, it's like, wow, the relationship's so close.
01:30:59.000 I do.
01:30:59.000 The color of it and the fact that we hang stockings over the fireplace and those stockings...
01:31:05.000 When the fuck did you ever get a pair of red and white stockings that you wore?
01:31:09.000 You don't.
01:31:10.000 I don't do that too often.
01:31:10.000 But that's also how they dry mushrooms out in their home.
01:31:13.000 They hang them in front of the fireplace and that's what dries them out.
01:31:17.000 It's really incredible.
01:31:18.000 You didn't know that?
01:31:20.000 It's an incredible series of whether they're coincidences.
01:31:26.000 I mean, I wouldn't say coincidence.
01:31:27.000 I would say there's evidence that there's a relationship.
01:31:30.000 And there's a bunch of people that have studied this.
01:31:33.000 There's a guy, Andrew Rudiger and Jan Ervin.
01:31:37.000 They've done a lot of study on this stuff.
01:31:39.000 And the great Jack Herrer was actually writing a book about this before he died.
01:31:44.000 The relationship with Christianity and mushrooms as well.
01:31:48.000 He had all these really cool ancient paintings of people who were naked, dancing in ecstasy under the very clear, transparent silhouette of the shape of a mushroom.
01:32:00.000 This is really amazing stuff.
01:32:02.000 If you ever look at the really old pictures of halos, that's fascinating too.
01:32:09.000 The new halos are like a frisbee or like a hula hoop floating around the back of your head, but the old halos were literally on the underside of a mushroom cap.
01:32:18.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:32:19.000 Yeah, and it has the lines in it, just like a mushroom does.
01:32:24.000 And it's really a trip when you see that.
01:32:26.000 You go, oh, my God.
01:32:28.000 What they were saying was these people were under the spell of the mushroom.
01:32:31.000 They were enlightened because they were under the spell of the mushroom.
01:32:34.000 And there's mushroom symbology all throughout ancient buildings and doorways are mushroom-shaped.
01:32:42.000 Literally, these temples had mushroom-shaped doorways.
01:32:46.000 Fuck, man.
01:32:47.000 How many people were on mushrooms back then?
01:32:50.000 You know, no internet, no TV. You got to keep entertaining somehow.
01:32:55.000 Yeah, that's the move, right?
01:32:57.000 Yeah.
01:32:57.000 Goddamn, man.
01:32:58.000 So when you're teaching these classes, do you ever get anybody who's angry at you?
01:33:02.000 Do you ever get anybody who wants to talk to you after class and just like, you know, hey, what you're doing is wrong or...
01:33:07.000 No, for the most part, they're mellow.
01:33:09.000 I mean, and again, I try to do it in a way that I try not to be offensive to the individual.
01:33:13.000 I may say something harsh.
01:33:14.000 I always say something harsh about the big picture, but on an individual level, it's like, hey, man, it doesn't mean I hate you, you know?
01:33:21.000 It's like, we're playing here.
01:33:22.000 We're tossing ideas.
01:33:23.000 I'm not attached to my ideas.
01:33:25.000 You tell me something that makes sense, I'll change my mind right now, you know?
01:33:27.000 It's like, I'm not here to defend an ideology, so who cares?
01:33:30.000 We're just playing here, you know?
01:33:32.000 So people mellow out, and once in a while we have discussions.
01:33:35.000 I had a Muslim student who was a very nice guy, but obviously wasn't too keen.
01:33:40.000 He loved me when I talk shit about other religions, but of course he had some issues when I started picking on the Quran.
01:33:47.000 One thing I picked on was this passage in the Quran that basically justified beating up your wife if she's disobedient.
01:33:57.000 And he's a nice guy, so he doesn't really want to support that.
01:34:00.000 But at the same time, he doesn't want to go against the Koran.
01:34:02.000 So he was like struggling, trying to figure out what do I do with it.
01:34:05.000 He came up with this weird ass theory a week later telling me, you know what?
01:34:09.000 This is God telling you that you shouldn't beat up women.
01:34:12.000 And I'm like, yeah, that's sweet, except that it's saying that you should.
01:34:15.000 So what's going on here?
01:34:16.000 Exactly.
01:34:17.000 He's like, no, no, he's using subtle psychology, you know, because if he tells you not to, then you get pissed and you want to do it.
01:34:24.000 So first he tells you that you should talk to them.
01:34:29.000 And then if they don't reform, then you banish them to another room.
01:34:34.000 And only as a last resort, then you can beat them up.
01:34:37.000 So really he's telling you that you shouldn't beat them up, but he's doing it in a smart way.
01:34:41.000 And I was like...
01:34:42.000 Oh my fucking god.
01:34:43.000 Can you just take that maybe there's some good stuff in the Koran and you cut some crap?
01:34:47.000 No, they're the most dogmatic.
01:34:49.000 The radical Muslims are the most dogmatic about it.
01:34:53.000 What do you find to be the most ridiculous?
01:34:55.000 Are religions universally ridiculous?
01:34:58.000 No, I think all the people, all the ones who believe that there's only one right way that has been revealed by God to them, and so they are super hardcore dogmatic.
01:35:08.000 And mostly, I mean, you're talking about Muslim fundamentalists, today in particular Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists throughout much of history.
01:35:15.000 They mellowed out a little today.
01:35:16.000 They let you paint them.
01:35:17.000 You can still draw Jesus.
01:35:19.000 You draw Muhammad, they'll fucking shoot you and blow your house up.
01:35:22.000 But I think it's all in Western.
01:35:25.000 Western monotheistic religions have the tendency to have the unhealthiest, more rabid, I'll kill you if you disagree kind of mentality.
01:35:33.000 Most Asian things, I mean, you can agree, you can disagree, but they are kind of like, eh, you know, if you disagree, who the hell cares?
01:35:40.000 Do your thing.
01:35:41.000 Yeah, Asian martial arts.
01:35:44.000 Or Asian, rather, religions.
01:35:45.000 What about the idea that the most dogmatic and the most restrictive religions are really the religions that have come from the areas that have the oldest civilizations?
01:35:59.000 Right.
01:35:59.000 And so, almost like Sumerh.
01:36:02.000 which is where Iraq is and you know really famously is a part of the world that is still in the Dark Ages right in a lot of ways yeah you know the the battles between the Sunnis and the Shiites and they just the Kurds and all the shit that happened with Saddam Hussein and right and you go back to that area I mean you say well you know this this area literally was Sumerr the This is Babylon.
01:36:27.000 This is where, you know, literally the first religions were created, as far as we know.
01:36:33.000 And when you think about that, like the people that are still there, They're much more influenced by the deep, deep past than people that have spread out to all parts of the world as travelers, especially Americans.
01:36:46.000 That's the last example of a new continent that we know that just over the last few hundred years has been established.
01:36:54.000 Yeah, I'm kind of scared of anything that comes out of the desert.
01:36:56.000 The desert is a fucking place.
01:36:58.000 Some people do well in it, but for the most part...
01:37:01.000 It's a harsh environment, man.
01:37:01.000 It's harsh, man.
01:37:02.000 All you want to do is you just squeeze between two rocks and pray that your brain doesn't start oozing out of your head.
01:37:08.000 It's brutal.
01:37:11.000 Religions that come out of the desert, I can see how they have something to do with.
01:37:14.000 People that come out of the desert.
01:37:15.000 You ever drive from California to Vegas?
01:37:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:37:18.000 It's scary business.
01:37:19.000 Drive from California to Vegas and you get out and you just smell crime, dude.
01:37:23.000 You just smell fear and anger.
01:37:25.000 Fear and loathing.
01:37:26.000 Right, exactly.
01:37:27.000 Exactly.
01:37:28.000 Hunter S. Thompson fucking nailed it.
01:37:29.000 I mean, it's not a mistake that he drove in a convertible taking it all in while on ether.
01:37:37.000 I strongly recommend that, yes.
01:37:39.000 Yeah, that's probably the way to see it correctly.
01:37:41.000 Yeah, no, so that's with religions.
01:37:43.000 I mean, religion come out from beautiful mountains and rivers and shit.
01:37:47.000 I'm sure it's going to do something to its ideology where they are, maybe, not always, but more likely than not, they're going to have a more mellow view of life.
01:37:55.000 Well, there's only one really mellow religion, right?
01:37:57.000 That's Buddhism.
01:37:58.000 Buddhism is pretty mellow.
01:37:59.000 In fact, I have no problems with it.
01:38:02.000 I can disagree with some stuff in Buddhism, but it's pleasant disagreement.
01:38:07.000 And they are not, at least for the most part, as hardcore trying to shove it down your throat, so it's a little more relaxed to have a dialogue.
01:38:15.000 Yeah, I really appreciate that.
01:38:17.000 I really appreciate religions that don't proselytize.
01:38:19.000 I really appreciate Judaism.
01:38:21.000 Nobody's trying to get you to be a Jew.
01:38:23.000 Right, right, right.
01:38:24.000 And you really can't even join.
01:38:27.000 It's really hard to join.
01:38:28.000 You've got to marry some chick.
01:38:31.000 That's what my uncle did.
01:38:32.000 My uncle converted.
01:38:33.000 His name is Salvatore DiGiolando.
01:38:36.000 Was that Italian?
01:38:37.000 Yeah, he converted.
01:38:38.000 He became Jewish.
01:38:40.000 It's interesting to me that there's no...
01:38:44.000 I wouldn't say there's no new religions, but there's no new respected religions.
01:38:52.000 There's everything where you can look back and...
01:38:54.000 Some people take Scientology seriously, but for the most part, it seems to be just a group.
01:39:00.000 You can call it a religion, but...
01:39:02.000 No one in that really is believing, at least I don't think they are, believing the stories of Scientology the same way that people are believing the ridiculous stories.
01:39:10.000 I mean, especially when it's written by a science fiction author.
01:39:13.000 I know, but because we know more shit today.
01:39:14.000 You know, it's like you can make some great claims about some distant past where nobody knows shit, then you can spin a story that nobody can disprove today.
01:39:23.000 In three seconds, people find out all about you when you're like, hey, isn't your prophet the guy who was like ranting some child porn the other day?
01:39:31.000 And he's like, what are you talking about?
01:39:32.000 So it's a little harder to get away with stuff.
01:39:35.000 Do you remember the Ted Haggard documentary they did for HBO? And one of the things he goes to look for a job.
01:39:42.000 And after he gets out, he goes, I think I'll be okay unless they Google me.
01:39:46.000 That's what he said.
01:39:47.000 I think I'll be okay.
01:39:49.000 I'll get the job unless they Google me.
01:39:51.000 That's great.
01:39:51.000 That's hilarious, man.
01:39:52.000 That's hilarious.
01:39:53.000 He's back to teaching again.
01:39:55.000 He's got a church now.
01:39:57.000 Don't you love it?
01:39:58.000 Those guys are so hardcore about morality and this and that.
01:40:01.000 Not that they mellow out a little bit, which would be healthy.
01:40:05.000 No, they go all like, I'll do methamphetamine with a gay hooker.
01:40:09.000 That's like, you're the one who's arguing that masturbation is the ultimate scene.
01:40:13.000 And it's like, Jesus.
01:40:14.000 Ted Haggerty blocked me on Twitter.
01:40:16.000 Yeah.
01:40:17.000 He did.
01:40:17.000 I made a joke.
01:40:19.000 He was talking about church.
01:40:20.000 He's like, after church, maybe, you know, sandwiches and a picnic and then dot, dot, dot.
01:40:26.000 And I wrote meth and blowjobs.
01:40:31.000 Yeah, I mean, but he might at you.
01:40:33.000 Come on.
01:40:33.000 Yeah, what the fuck, man?
01:40:35.000 You can't just leave that out there.
01:40:36.000 No, that's just funny.
01:40:37.000 He blocked me.
01:40:38.000 Blocked me on Twitter.
01:40:39.000 The fuck?
01:40:40.000 I block people, too, but only when they're assholes.
01:40:42.000 Right.
01:40:42.000 You say something that funny, but, you know, some people, they've got no sense of humor.
01:40:47.000 Priests that get busted with gay hookers and meth, rarely can they laugh at it.
01:40:51.000 No, usually not.
01:40:53.000 Unfortunately.
01:40:55.000 So, the most unreasonable religion would have to be Islam, right?
01:41:01.000 The most...
01:41:02.000 I mean, you can't make fun of them, you can't...
01:41:05.000 Today is pretty tough to do.
01:41:07.000 You know that woman that had to go into hiding and change her name?
01:41:10.000 She was a columnist and she wanted to have a draw Muhammad Monday.
01:41:17.000 And she had so many threats against her life.
01:41:21.000 Yeah.
01:41:22.000 Really.
01:41:22.000 They will kill you.
01:41:23.000 Isn't that amazing?
01:41:24.000 It's amazing that that's tolerated.
01:41:26.000 Like, that's some bullshit.
01:41:28.000 You need to fucking relax.
01:41:29.000 Yeah.
01:41:29.000 One thing that trips me out is the reaction.
01:41:31.000 Like, when there were the Muhammad cartoons.
01:41:33.000 Yeah.
01:41:33.000 When there were even Salman Rushdie back in the day.
01:41:35.000 Yeah.
01:41:36.000 A bunch of the Western world were saying, yeah, sure, the violence is bad, the Muslim reaction, but really is this terrible and offensive what these people are doing.
01:41:45.000 And I'm just like, are you kidding me?
01:41:47.000 You know, you're giving in to book burners and arguing that people want to squash freedom of opinion that's in the name of respecting religion.
01:41:56.000 Yeah, if you want to go to war, if the United States wants to go to war, you should go to war with anybody that wants to kill a lady who suggests that you should have a draw Muhammad Monday.
01:42:04.000 That's who we should go to war with.
01:42:05.000 Go to war with them.
01:42:07.000 Have people that pretend to do shit like that.
01:42:09.000 Find out who's ready to kill them and then go get them.
01:42:12.000 Go get them, boys.
01:42:13.000 Those are the jackasses of the world.
01:42:15.000 Those are the people who you can't bounce that far back from where they are.
01:42:20.000 They need to die and come back and live life again and try to learn from this life's experiences because you're not going to bounce back from being a guy who's willing to cut the heart out of a woman who wants to have a draw Muhammad Monday.
01:42:33.000 That guy's never going to be a productive member of society.
01:42:36.000 He's not like, oh, I don't tip well at the restaurant.
01:42:39.000 That's a pretty big flaw right there.
01:42:41.000 Yeah, there's like a number, like a place where you go where you can't bounce back.
01:42:46.000 You're so much of a piece of shit and so much of a problem in society that you can't...
01:42:50.000 I say child molesters.
01:42:51.000 I say anything along those murderers.
01:42:53.000 You can't bounce back from that.
01:42:55.000 You can't.
01:42:55.000 You gotta stop.
01:42:57.000 We gotta clean house.
01:42:58.000 And it's just like you have to prune trees and you have to shoot horses with broken legs.
01:43:05.000 Right, Brian?
01:43:06.000 Yes.
01:43:07.000 What the fuck are we talking about, man?
01:43:08.000 It's supposed to be about religion.
01:43:11.000 So you didn't learn anything doing this book.
01:43:14.000 You will learn something about the reactions, people.
01:43:16.000 Have you braced yourself for controversy?
01:43:19.000 And even this conversation, you know?
01:43:20.000 I'm sure there's going to be people.
01:43:21.000 You're lucky you don't have a Twitter.
01:43:22.000 Seriously.
01:43:23.000 Do you have a Facebook?
01:43:24.000 Yeah, I know.
01:43:24.000 Can people Facebook you?
01:43:25.000 I know.
01:43:25.000 What is it?
01:43:26.000 Is it Danielle Bolelli?
01:43:28.000 Yep.
01:43:29.000 I have a nice picture of me holding my daughter, flipping people off.
01:43:32.000 Really?
01:43:33.000 Wow, so you're preparing for this response from the show.
01:43:36.000 Did you do that in response?
01:43:38.000 I think it was my attitude over the last few months, where I was like, I've been through enough shit, that's kind of my feeling toward the universe.
01:43:45.000 One end I'm protective of the only good thing there is, and then the other end I'm like, fuck you all.
01:43:51.000 Is your go-to karaoke song by R.E.M. by chance?
01:43:55.000 No, it's Pavarotti.
01:43:56.000 That's right.
01:43:57.000 When you get that accent, you might as well just bust out some opera.
01:44:00.000 Go for it, right?
01:44:04.000 Is that you saying it over there?
01:44:05.000 Yeah.
01:44:06.000 Okay.
01:44:06.000 You alright?
01:44:07.000 Don't hurt yourself over there.
01:44:10.000 So your book, when is it going to be out?
01:44:12.000 It should be this week.
01:44:13.000 This week?
01:44:14.000 They keep giving me different dates.
01:44:15.000 I mean, Amazon has it for like December 20th, but Amazon always gets it wrong.
01:44:18.000 So I talked to the publisher and they told me that it should be out this week.
01:44:21.000 And it's Daniel Bolelli.
01:44:24.000 How do you say it in Italian?
01:44:26.000 Daniele Bolelli.
01:44:27.000 Daniele.
01:44:28.000 Daniele Bolelli.
01:44:29.000 B-O-L-E-L-L-I. And you can find him on Facebook if you want.
01:44:35.000 Look for the guy holding his daughter, giving you the finger.
01:44:37.000 And this has been fun, man.
01:44:39.000 Really interesting conversation.
01:44:40.000 Thanks, man.
01:44:41.000 And I hope people buy your book.
01:44:43.000 And we've got to come back again.
01:44:45.000 We'll talk about some more shit.
01:44:46.000 I'm sure that's the beautiful thing about religion.
01:44:48.000 There's hundreds and hundreds of hours of discussion just on the silliness, right?
01:44:52.000 Or MMA or drugs or anything.
01:44:55.000 Beautiful.
01:44:55.000 It's been a lot of fun, man.
01:44:56.000 Thank you very much.
01:44:57.000 Thank you.
01:44:58.000 All right.
01:44:58.000 That's it, folks.
01:44:59.000 Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring the podcast.
01:45:02.000 Thank you to...
01:45:04.000 Oh, go to JoeRogan.net.
01:45:06.000 Click on the link for The Fleshlight and enter in the code name ROGAN and you get 15% off.
01:45:10.000 And thanks to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T.com for sponsoring us as well, the makers of AlphaBrain, the Cognitive Enhancing Supplement.
01:45:20.000 I can't.
01:45:20.000 I should use some.
01:45:21.000 I should take one.
01:45:22.000 I've talked too much.
01:45:23.000 It's that caffeine withdrawal.
01:45:25.000 It is, probably.
01:45:25.000 I'm probably half retarded now.
01:45:27.000 The new stuff is New Mood.
01:45:30.000 It's a 5-HTP and L-tryptophan supplement.
01:45:33.000 And we also have Shroom Tech, a Cordyceps mushroom and B12 energy supplement that's fantastic for people who work out really hard.
01:45:40.000 I fucking love it.
01:45:41.000 I'm really getting into that stuff lately.
01:45:44.000 This Wednesday, as in tomorrow, we are having a show here at the Ice House in Pasadena.
01:45:49.000 What time is the show, Brian?
01:45:50.000 I don't know.
01:45:51.000 I haven't figured it out yet.
01:45:52.000 We haven't figured it out yet.
01:45:53.000 That's how we roll, bitches.
01:45:54.000 It's wild.
01:45:55.000 We're crazy.
01:45:56.000 But it'll be a lot of cool guys.
01:45:58.000 Burt Kreischer's going to be on the show.
01:45:59.000 Burt Kreischer's also going to be on the Ice House Chronicles podcast that we do whenever we have a show here at the Ice House.
01:46:05.000 During the time the guys are on stage and before everyone's on stage, we'll do a podcast right here at this Death Squad studio.
01:46:13.000 Kreischer will be on that.
01:46:16.000 Hopefully Joey Diaz.
01:46:17.000 Is Joey in town?
01:46:17.000 I don't know.
01:46:19.000 Mad flavor, bitches.
01:46:20.000 We'll have to bring Joey in.
01:46:21.000 We've been having some kick-ass shows.
01:46:23.000 They're amazing.
01:46:24.000 Last one was Steve-O, Bill Burr, who else?
01:46:28.000 Ari Shafir, Joey Diaz, Brendan Walsh, me.
01:46:32.000 These are the craziest shows you can get, and it's cheap.
01:46:35.000 What is it, $15?
01:46:36.000 Yep.
01:46:37.000 Yeah, $15.
01:46:38.000 It's a real cool place because it's intimate.
01:46:40.000 It's only 85 seats.
01:46:41.000 We also have a show Friday every week usually for Death Squad where I take all the other people like Sam Tripoli, Jason Tebow, Tom Segura and all those guys and I give them their own separate show too.
01:46:52.000 Solid shows if you're around and you want to check those out.
01:46:55.000 Even if you don't know the guys' names, I guarantee you if they're on these shows, they're solid.
01:47:02.000 So this weekend's the UFC. Oh, who else we got?
01:47:04.000 We got Doug Stanhope, bitches!
01:47:06.000 Doug Stanhope will be joining us on Thursday.
01:47:10.000 Thursday, Doug Stanhope is going to join us.
01:47:12.000 He's got a show Wednesday and Thursday.
01:47:15.000 Wednesday is at the Irvine Improv and Thursday is at the Brea Improv.
01:47:21.000 So, we're going to bring him down here on Thursday, do a podcast with Doug, get piss-eyed drunk, and then take him out to the Improv in Brea that night.
01:47:30.000 So, if you're looking to see him, go to the Irvine Improv's website.
01:47:34.000 Just Google that shit, son.
01:47:35.000 Go see Doug Stanhope on Wednesday at Irvine and then Thursday in Brea.
01:47:39.000 Doug will be here on Thursday.
01:47:43.000 For a podcast.
01:47:44.000 Word.
01:47:45.000 That's it.
01:47:45.000 The fucking show's over.
01:47:47.000 Thank you.
01:47:47.000 Daniella.
01:47:48.000 Daniella?
01:47:49.000 Did I say it right?
01:47:49.000 You got it.
01:47:50.000 Daniella Ballelli.
01:47:50.000 My friend, you've brought us some very interesting topics for conversation here.
01:47:55.000 And I'm going to check out your book.
01:47:56.000 And check out his new book, 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know About Religion, which should be out this week on info.com.
01:48:02.000 Disinfo.
01:48:03.000 Disinfo.
01:48:03.000 Not info.com.
01:48:04.000 Info.
01:48:05.000 They're a bunch of fucking liars.
01:48:07.000 Disinfo.com.
01:48:07.000 We're telling you the truth.
01:48:09.000 Subscribe to Death Squad.
01:48:10.000 It's the only way on iTunes to subscribe to it because it's the only way you can get the Ice House Chronicles, which I think is one of the best podcasts out there.
01:48:17.000 It's all of us hanging out pre-shows and after shows, and you get some hilarious shit out of it.
01:48:23.000 It's a lot of fun.
01:48:23.000 Everybody's getting amped up for the show, and there's a lot of shit talking, and it's always fun when you've got like ten comics in a room together.
01:48:29.000 The last one was beautiful.
01:48:30.000 It was Joey Diaz and Brendan Walsh, and it was everybody.
01:48:33.000 The one before with Yoshi.
01:48:35.000 I mean, they're really fun.
01:48:36.000 All right.
01:48:37.000 The fucking show's over.
01:48:38.000 Love you bitches.
01:48:39.000 See ya.