The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #165

00:00:00.000 Hypnotize Hypnotize What?

00:00:10.000 What?

00:00:13.000 Hello?

00:00:14.000 Ha!

00:00:15.000 Sicker than your average pop of twist cabbage off instinct niggas don't think shits do pink gators.

00:00:20.000 My Detroit players transform my hooligans in Brooklyn.

00:00:24.000 Dead right if they head right.

00:00:25.000 Siri there every night.

00:00:27.000 Papa been smooth since days of underloose.

00:00:29.000 Never lose.

00:00:30.000 Never choose to.

00:00:31.000 Choose crews who do something to us.

00:00:33.000 Talk to us.

00:00:34.000 Girls love to us.

00:00:35.000 Wanna do us?

00:00:37.000 Screw us, who us?

00:00:38.000 Yeah, Papa and Papa roasts like Starsky and Hutch.

00:00:41.000 Stick the clutch.

00:00:42.000 Dare I squeeze three at your cherry M3? Bang every MC easily.

00:00:46.000 recently niggas sprinting ain't saying nothing.

00:00:49.000 So I just keep my peace keep my peace Cubans with the Jesus peace with my peace.

00:00:54.000 Test test test test.

00:00:55.000 There we go.

00:00:56.000 Is that something that someone did actually with Siri?

00:00:59.000 It's hacked.

00:01:01.000 Somebody hacked their iPhone.

00:01:03.000 You can tell when he opens it and closes his phone, it has a weird look to it, so I think somebody just, you know...

00:01:09.000 Oh, they do that?

00:01:10.000 They do that?

00:01:10.000 They root iPhones as well?

00:01:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:13.000 I didn't know that people were hacking into iPhones.

00:01:15.000 Of course.

00:01:15.000 I think there's, like, websites you can just go to, and it's just where you...

00:01:21.000 What looks hacked about that?

00:01:22.000 That looks like just an iPhone.

00:01:24.000 Oh, let me see.

00:01:27.000 I guess not.

00:01:29.000 I thought those icons on the two top were something, but that looks like SoundCloud.

00:01:33.000 Yeah, that looks like a normal iPhone.

00:01:35.000 Well, I think that's the only way you could possibly do it.

00:01:37.000 I think that has to be a hacked iPhone.

00:01:39.000 Or the whole thing is fake.

00:01:41.000 I think the whole thing is much more likely fake.

00:01:43.000 Because there's one thing I noticed at the very end of this video, which you can find on Vimeo, it says something different than she says on the writing here.

00:01:51.000 So maybe this writing part was just Final Cut Pro or something.

00:01:55.000 Well, it says Siri, Siri, Siri, can't you see, too.

00:01:58.000 I mean, did someone type that in?

00:01:59.000 You know, what is that?

00:02:00.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:02:00.000 It's definitely not Siri.

00:02:03.000 They definitely did it.

00:02:04.000 They either faked the video or they rooted their iPhone.

00:02:07.000 But I think it's probably more fake the video.

00:02:08.000 That's like a big thing with the Android people, man.

00:02:10.000 Android, that's the one thing that they love about it, the fact that you can do that.

00:02:13.000 Yeah.

00:02:14.000 Dudes who get into Android, they're like, dudes who are really into fucking Unix and shit.

00:02:19.000 Right.

00:02:20.000 You know, they're like, rooting things.

00:02:22.000 I'm a Linux contributor.

00:02:25.000 Dude, we forgot to record the video blog again.

00:02:28.000 Yeah, we keep forgetting.

00:02:29.000 Sorry, folks.

00:02:30.000 Sorry, he had to go, though.

00:02:31.000 He really did have to go.

00:02:32.000 Dude.

00:02:35.000 Did have to leave.

00:02:36.000 That was a fascinating guy though, wasn't he?

00:02:38.000 Yeah, that was really interesting and it definitely was shit that I've already thought about before.

00:02:43.000 It's kind of interesting to hear it from somebody that has some cred.

00:02:46.000 I think as you get older in life and you have a certain amount of experiences and you sort of learn Yeah.

00:03:05.000 that I ever had, you know, he just comes out and says, yes, it does, yes.

00:03:09.000 Your mind, your consciousness controls everything.

00:03:12.000 Your environment controls how the genes are made.

00:03:15.000 Like, what?

00:03:15.000 Yeah.

00:03:16.000 The fuck?

00:03:17.000 By the way, dude, Fear Factor last night.

00:03:20.000 It was so great to see it.

00:03:21.000 I forgot how much I missed it.

00:03:23.000 I've watched every single episode, even to the very end.

00:03:27.000 I watched it, and it wasn't because of you or anything.

00:03:29.000 That was a show that I thought was always fun to cringe at.

00:03:32.000 You had more emotion of just sitting there with a blank look, staring at a TV. You're actually like, I'm just like, ugh!

00:03:39.000 It freaks you out a little bit better than most shows.

00:03:42.000 So last night, it was awesome seeing it take it to the next level, especially HD, I thought was so awesome.

00:03:47.000 You could actually see the bugs, intestines, and stuff like that in more detail, and the explosions, of course.

00:03:54.000 The explosions, for sure.

00:03:55.000 Sound editing on that show is awesome.

00:03:57.000 The editors are badass.

00:03:58.000 It was very surreal watching it.

00:04:00.000 Very surreal.

00:04:04.000 It's just strange.

00:04:06.000 The whole thing was strange.

00:04:08.000 Strange to live it, and strange to do it again, and strange to see it on TV again.

00:04:11.000 I fucking never thought I would be doing that show again.

00:04:14.000 I never thought, how could it happen?

00:04:15.000 This is just a chapter in my life, and I've moved past that now, and then to do it again.

00:04:20.000 But I enjoyed it, man.

00:04:22.000 I really did.

00:04:22.000 I thought it was fun.

00:04:23.000 I thought it was a fun fucking show.

00:04:25.000 Was that mom and son thing real?

00:04:28.000 Oh yeah, it's all real.

00:04:30.000 That was disturbing.

00:04:31.000 Oh yeah.

00:04:32.000 Well, you know what?

00:04:32.000 The casting, my boy Rich really knows how to fucking bring these people in.

00:04:37.000 They know how to pick them, man.

00:04:38.000 At this point in time, too, there's so many people that want to do any sort of a reality show that you can find some real characters, man.

00:04:45.000 You can find some...

00:04:45.000 That one character, the guy that was like a self-motivator guy with the hot blonde shit.

00:04:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:54.000 He didn't know how to swim and he just left her drowning in the middle of the water.

00:04:58.000 That was sad.

00:04:58.000 I felt bad for that girl.

00:05:00.000 I felt bad that she didn't know how to swim and she tried to do that.

00:05:03.000 She wanted to win and she thought maybe once she got in there she would figure out how to do it, but she didn't know how to swim.

00:05:08.000 That was disturbing.

00:05:08.000 They had to rescue her.

00:05:09.000 It's weird you guys didn't see it.

00:05:11.000 I think they had an idea.

00:05:12.000 I think they had a plan.

00:05:13.000 I think the plan was he said, I know you don't know how to swim, but I'll carry you.

00:05:17.000 I don't think you realize how hard that is to do.

00:05:18.000 It's really hard to do.

00:05:19.000 And you swim slow as fuck when you're doing that.

00:05:22.000 You can't just swim when you're carrying someone's body.

00:05:24.000 It takes a long time.

00:05:26.000 It takes more than twice the time.

00:05:29.000 She was pulling him down, and he was panicking, so he left her out there.

00:05:33.000 It's weird thinking not being able to swim.

00:05:35.000 You should not be a grown adult.

00:05:37.000 That should be something that they have to teach you in third grade, and you have to pass a test.

00:05:42.000 Apparently, she didn't grow up in the best neighborhood.

00:05:44.000 She wasn't happy about it, obviously.

00:05:46.000 She grew up in Vegas, right?

00:05:48.000 That hot chick.

00:05:49.000 I don't know.

00:05:49.000 Did she?

00:05:50.000 She grew up in that Mandalay Bay.

00:05:54.000 How dare you?

00:05:55.000 She's so hot.

00:05:56.000 She was so hot, that chick.

00:05:57.000 She was very pretty.

00:05:58.000 I wonder if she was like his friend and they came on like as a...

00:06:02.000 He hired her.

00:06:03.000 Yeah.

00:06:03.000 That seems like it makes more sense.

00:06:05.000 Yeah, it's very possible.

00:06:06.000 And then she just agreed to get on.

00:06:07.000 I mean, why not?

00:06:08.000 Why not just say, you know, say it's my boyfriend.

00:06:10.000 I would do that.

00:06:11.000 You want to get on Couples Fear Factor together?

00:06:13.000 Do we have to be couples?

00:06:14.000 Yeah, we just pretend.

00:06:15.000 Okay.

00:06:15.000 That's why he left her in the water.

00:06:16.000 That makes 100% sense, right?

00:06:19.000 You would never leave your girl in the water.

00:06:21.000 Well, if you thought you were drowning, if you thought someone would rescue her, if you separated, you might separate.

00:06:27.000 But you would say something, save her.

00:06:29.000 You would say, save her.

00:06:31.000 That's what I would say.

00:06:32.000 I would say, if I knew that I couldn't rescue her...

00:06:35.000 First of all, if someone does not swim at all, and they're flailing around, they can drag you under.

00:06:40.000 You have to get them to relax.

00:06:42.000 So you have to be fucking good at that.

00:06:44.000 That's not an easy thing to do.

00:06:45.000 Just start kissing them, right?

00:06:46.000 And then they get in the couple's embrace?

00:06:49.000 Suck a finger and put it right in their pooper.

00:06:52.000 Calm them down.

00:06:52.000 Like when you got a good hold of their pooper.

00:06:54.000 Right.

00:06:55.000 Especially the thumb.

00:06:56.000 You press the thumb on the coccyx.

00:06:58.000 Is that a...

00:06:58.000 I just wanted to say coxics.

00:06:59.000 And it was also so weird seeing, because it was all ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriends, which I thought was a great idea for casting-wise.

00:07:07.000 But it was weird seeing that one guy that there was a guy and this girl that was fake boobs.

00:07:13.000 I think she had fake boobs, but kind of a weird body, a hot, older body.

00:07:17.000 And he just fucking with her.

00:07:20.000 She controlled the whole relationship.

00:07:22.000 It was weird seeing, like, why people broke up, probably, because she was, like, you know, he was, yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

00:07:29.000 I don't know if you remember that guy that, like, he pretty much took orders from her the whole time during Fear Factor.

00:07:37.000 Yes, yeah, totally.

00:07:38.000 Yeah, so you can kind of see why, like, the relationships, like, ended.

00:07:41.000 You know, like, it was so interesting.

00:07:43.000 Yeah.

00:07:43.000 I like that.

00:07:43.000 That's why they chose those people.

00:07:45.000 They chose them because they knew they would be fascinating to watch.

00:07:48.000 It's weird how bad some people's relationships are.

00:07:52.000 It's weird.

00:07:53.000 But there were some people that were fun.

00:07:55.000 They had fun relationships.

00:07:56.000 Like the one couple, they were exes, but now they're just friends.

00:08:00.000 The Twilight kid and the Team Twilight, that was so fucking hilarious.

00:08:06.000 And Hard Rider, or Easy Rider.

00:08:08.000 But Team Twilight, they were very nice people.

00:08:10.000 They were super cool.

00:08:11.000 She was gorgeous.

00:08:12.000 Yeah, she was really pretty.

00:08:13.000 And he was a good looking guy.

00:08:15.000 And they were actually friends.

00:08:16.000 I mean, it was legit.

00:08:17.000 They used to date, and they didn't work out.

00:08:19.000 And they both have different girlfriends now, or boyfriends.

00:08:22.000 And they're friends.

00:08:23.000 They were the healthiest fucking group by far, out of any of them.

00:08:28.000 Yeah.

00:08:28.000 You know, the other one's like the fucking easy riders.

00:08:30.000 Those guys were fighting like cats and dogs.

00:08:32.000 And then the other guy, you felt sorry for that one dude.

00:08:35.000 Yeah.

00:08:35.000 That was controlled by his wife.

00:08:37.000 His ex.

00:08:38.000 It was sad, you know?

00:08:39.000 And she would say shit and you'd just go, oh, poor dude.

00:08:42.000 He has to just sit there and eat that, you know?

00:08:44.000 I couldn't do that with my exes.

00:08:46.000 Not most of them, I couldn't.

00:08:48.000 You don't want to be in that position.

00:08:49.000 Everyone knows that you don't want to be in that disadvantageous position where you are giving in to them all the time.

00:08:56.000 Right.

00:08:56.000 You know, you don't want to be there, man.

00:08:58.000 You don't want to be there where they're yelling at you.

00:09:00.000 You don't want to be there.

00:09:01.000 That position sucks.

00:09:02.000 Yeah.

00:09:03.000 And that one guy even was like, you know, like he dropped a cow heart.

00:09:07.000 I think it was.

00:09:08.000 He dropped a cow heart.

00:09:09.000 And you could tell that she was blaming him for losing.

00:09:12.000 And then like somebody else dropped it.

00:09:14.000 And he goes, yeah, see, look, it was hard to see.

00:09:16.000 It was hard to see.

00:09:17.000 You know, like it was so sad to see that.

00:09:20.000 Yeah.

00:09:20.000 Yeah, it's hard.

00:09:21.000 It's hard dealing with people like that.

00:09:23.000 Not dealing with them, I mean, but being around them and going, hey, you guys are just fucking up each other's lives.

00:09:28.000 You need to get the fuck away from her, dude.

00:09:30.000 I know you feel like somehow or another you got this connection with her.

00:09:33.000 You got to see her to get your kids from her.

00:09:35.000 But other than that, stay away because this woman is chopping you down.

00:09:40.000 That dude needs a friend.

00:09:41.000 When a dude can't get a chick anymore, when a girl is no longer impressed with a guy, when the fucking magic is over, and she is not attracted to the guy at all, that is the worst time you can be around that girl.

00:09:51.000 Because she will have you feeling like you are worthless.

00:09:54.000 And that will, in turn, it's not going to motivate you, it's going to make you feel like shit, and it's going to probably ruin all these other aspects of your life too.

00:10:00.000 So if you're on a regular relationship with someone who treats you like shit, and is not whatsoever attracted to you, that's devastating for you as a person.

00:10:08.000 And so while we're around this poor guy, we have to see this.

00:10:12.000 You can't blame her.

00:10:13.000 You like who you like, man.

00:10:15.000 But for him, he's got to get the fuck away, man.

00:10:18.000 Run.

00:10:19.000 This is your reality you're creating, as Bruce Lipton would tell us.

00:10:22.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:10:23.000 Speaking of which, man, I have to apologize to Todd Bridges, man.

00:10:28.000 I fucked up, and I did this interview, and they always ask you, what was it like, the old fear factor?

00:10:35.000 You do 100 interviews, and after a while, you just run out of shit to talk about, and you'll talk about anything.

00:10:41.000 And one of the things that came up, we were talking about C-listers that were on the show.

00:10:45.000 And I'm going to just read it so there's no mistake whatsoever in what I said.

00:10:50.000 The question was, the guy says, I remember it was more C-listers and blasts from the past like Todd Bridges.

00:10:55.000 And I said, yeah, he was a really weird one.

00:10:58.000 He's an angry dude.

00:10:59.000 I think he murdered somebody.

00:11:01.000 Did he get away with manslaughter?

00:11:03.000 I'm serious.

00:11:04.000 You shouldn't print that because I think it says you should print that, but that's not what I said.

00:11:11.000 I said you shouldn't print that.

00:11:15.000 crack house and wound up killing someone hold on let me fact check right now they actually put the whole thing in me saying hold on let me fact check right now and then I say yeah Todd Bridges attempted murder and attempted voluntary manslaughter charges he shot somebody five gun shots and a knife wound the jury acquitted him though that was 1989 he was 23 years old then I said but yeah I didn't enjoy being He was a weird, angry guy.

00:11:36.000 He blamed his losing on the producers like they wanted to get rid of him.

00:11:43.000 There's some people who just think that the world is out to get them, and he felt like that in a big way.

00:11:47.000 It was interesting from a psychological standpoint.

00:11:49.000 One of the reasons why I said this, he got upset at me when he got eliminated from the show and wouldn't believe that he was actually eliminated.

00:11:55.000 He believed that they wanted him to get eliminated.

00:11:57.000 I went to shake his hand, and he wouldn't even shake my hand.

00:11:59.000 He just put his hands back and walked away.

00:12:01.000 I was like, this is so fucking childish.

00:12:03.000 And then I thought about it.

00:12:04.000 I'm like, this poor guy, man.

00:12:05.000 He grows up in the limelight on a fucking big show like Different Strokes.

00:12:09.000 Try developing on television like that.

00:12:12.000 And we've talked about that so many times, like how insane that must be.

00:12:15.000 Try developing on television.

00:12:17.000 Yeah.

00:12:17.000 So all I did was comment on him like he wasn't a person.

00:12:22.000 Comment on him like I wasn't concerned with his feelings that he would listen to it.

00:12:26.000 And despite the fact that he was in some sort of a situation at Crack House, this was a long time ago.

00:12:32.000 And I don't know him.

00:12:34.000 And I just said it, and I shouldn't have said it.

00:12:36.000 It's really, you know, whether it's true or not is not the point.

00:12:39.000 The point is, there's no reason for me to say it.

00:12:42.000 And he's friends with my friend Dave, and my friend Dave and him talked, and he said he's been sober for 19 years, and this upset him.

00:12:49.000 And I thought about it, I'm like, who the fuck am I to just randomly bring up some shit about some dude's past that's going to make him feel bad?

00:12:55.000 You know, it was not, there was no reason why I should have done it.

00:12:58.000 I did it, it was lazy thinking on my part, I should have never done it.

00:13:03.000 And I I should have, you know, looked at his life as like one picture.

00:13:06.000 I don't know that dude.

00:13:07.000 And apparently he's been sober for like 19 years.

00:13:10.000 And he does a lot of good things and does interventions and shit.

00:13:13.000 So I opened up my mouth when I shouldn't have.

00:13:15.000 And I apologize.

00:13:17.000 So Todd Bridges, if you're out there, please accept my apology.

00:13:19.000 I'm sorry.

00:13:20.000 I shouldn't have said that.

00:13:21.000 He's right.

00:13:21.000 I totally agree.

00:13:23.000 I could have totally avoided saying anything about his past or anything about him as a person.

00:13:28.000 You know, I get bored sometimes, man, and this is no excuse, but it's true.

00:13:33.000 You know, you do 100 interviews about fear factor and stuff like that, you can get psychologically lazy.

00:13:37.000 You know, you get sloppy with what you say.

00:13:39.000 And as you can see, everything I said there, including don't print that, which actually says, or instead of shouldn't print that, it actually says should print that.

00:13:47.000 Most certainly said shouldn't print that because I went into some sort of a...

00:13:51.000 I went to fact check that.

00:13:53.000 So because of that, they put every single word I said.

00:13:55.000 So you get a chance to see my whole thought process on it.

00:13:59.000 So I don't know what the fuck happened to him, obviously.

00:14:01.000 I wasn't there.

00:14:02.000 The guy got acquitted.

00:14:03.000 Good.

00:14:04.000 That's beautiful.

00:14:05.000 I don't hold any ill will towards him, and I feel bad that I brought it up, and I shouldn't have.

00:14:11.000 So I apologize.

00:14:13.000 You know that the NT and the should and the shouldn't is going to be the new Tower 7 for you.

00:14:17.000 Right?

00:14:19.000 I swear to God, that's what I said.

00:14:21.000 I'm a mumbling fuck.

00:14:22.000 You talk to me over the phone, especially with these goofy headsets that I insist on wearing.

00:14:26.000 You ever seen those things I have?

00:14:28.000 I walk around my house, so I like it because I can talk on the phone and do shit at the same time.

00:14:32.000 Tom Cruise style, but Tom Cruise 1984. Yeah, actually, I've got a cord, and the cord goes directly into the cordless phone.

00:14:39.000 But it's the best way to do it because the phone's cordless, the phone sticks in my back pocket, it's got a little clip, and I can walk around the house.

00:14:45.000 I play pool with them on the phone sometimes.

00:14:46.000 Yeah, but that's why Radio Shack is still in business, because of people like you buying those crazy headsets.

00:14:51.000 Yeah, get them from Radio Shack.

00:14:51.000 You've got to get them from Hello Direct.

00:14:53.000 Hello Direct?

00:14:54.000 What is that?

00:14:55.000 Hello Direct is the best company in the world for business phones.

00:14:59.000 Hello Direct?

00:15:00.000 Yeah, they make big conference phones, and they make really good headsets that you listen to a cordless phone on where it's like real high-end.

00:15:08.000 It sounds really good, really strong, but it's expensive equipment.

00:15:11.000 But it's expensive because it's really high-end stuff.

00:15:13.000 It's really worth it.

00:15:15.000 But you know, you can get any fucking headset, man.

00:15:17.000 I got a Sony one that was like 30 bucks.

00:15:19.000 It's pretty good.

00:15:20.000 It's not bad at all, you know?

00:15:22.000 Are you sure Hello Direct is not like a home shopping network of Bluetooth accessories?

00:15:26.000 I don't think so.

00:15:27.000 I think they make cell phone.

00:15:29.000 I mean, I think they make phone headsets.

00:15:31.000 Did John Heffron turn you on to that?

00:15:33.000 Am I caught in a pyramid scheme?

00:15:35.000 Am I in denial?

00:15:36.000 I think that's what that is.

00:15:37.000 I found John Heffron.

00:15:38.000 He's never tried to rip us off.

00:15:39.000 I just want to be clear about that.

00:15:41.000 He's a great guy, and he would never do anything dishonest.

00:15:43.000 But John Heffron occasionally has these fucking plans.

00:15:46.000 We're like, dude, all I have to do is I start this one business in Uganda.

00:15:52.000 I give them the keys, and they have money that comes to me for the rest of my life.

00:15:56.000 Dude, I'm set.

00:15:57.000 He's got this sort of crazy lottery winner scam mentality as far as him wanting to find some one product that really takes off.

00:16:08.000 Is it like an Anthony Robbins thing?

00:16:10.000 Because I know he's into that shit.

00:16:12.000 I don't know.

00:16:12.000 I don't even know who that guy is.

00:16:13.000 You don't know who Anthony Robbins is?

00:16:16.000 Google knows it for me.

00:16:18.000 If I ever need that information, I just use Google.

00:16:20.000 I might know who he is.

00:16:20.000 You've never heard of Tony Robbins?

00:16:22.000 Tony Robbins.

00:16:23.000 You know who Tony Robbins is?

00:16:24.000 The motivational speaker guy?

00:16:26.000 He's fucking gigantic.

00:16:27.000 He's huge.

00:16:27.000 No.

00:16:28.000 Is he like a Buble?

00:16:29.000 Because I just found out about Buble and now he's haunting me.

00:16:31.000 Who's Buble?

00:16:32.000 Some Buble guy that sings a lot.

00:16:34.000 And now, somebody told me, you don't know who Mike Buble is?

00:16:38.000 And now, everywhere I go, I tried to buy a bottle of wine last night.

00:16:40.000 It was like, oh, you just won a free Buble album.

00:16:43.000 What?

00:16:43.000 I don't know who this Buble guy is, but it's just crazy.

00:16:45.000 This is a new character?

00:16:46.000 I don't know.

00:16:46.000 A new dude?

00:16:47.000 It seems like it's not.

00:16:48.000 I got shamed down because I don't know who Buble is.

00:16:51.000 Do you have some music?

00:16:52.000 No, you can't even play some music.

00:16:53.000 I can't even play a movie.

00:16:53.000 We don't want to get sued by the latest and greatest, Buble.

00:16:56.000 But he's haunting me now.

00:16:57.000 I don't know why.

00:16:58.000 It's the holiday season or something.

00:16:59.000 I have no idea what you're talking about.

00:17:00.000 I've never even heard of this.

00:17:01.000 Well, now you'll get Buble-ed nonstop.

00:17:04.000 You'll find Buble-ed everywhere.

00:17:06.000 I don't think I will.

00:17:06.000 Yeah, you will.

00:17:07.000 I'm guessing in your reality, Buble-ed.

00:17:09.000 I just cursed you with the Buble-ed first.

00:17:10.000 No, you can't win over my reality.

00:17:11.000 I control my own reality.

00:17:13.000 You can't get in there.

00:17:13.000 Oh, yeah?

00:17:14.000 It's an impenetrable bubble, sir.

00:17:15.000 You can't Buble-ed me.

00:17:17.000 You'll be driving home with your Buble-ed.

00:17:18.000 Go ahead, send me some links.

00:17:18.000 It won't even enter my mind.

00:17:19.000 I'll look at it, I'll click on the link, I'll go, oh, it's Brian.

00:17:21.000 I'm sorry, you just got Buble.

00:17:23.000 You think so?

00:17:24.000 I got Blue Blade all over your face.

00:17:25.000 Dude, you think so?

00:17:27.000 Dude, all I know is I'm going to be on The Tonight Show on Friday with Ron fucking Paul.

00:17:31.000 Musical guest Buble, you watch.

00:17:32.000 Oh my god, could you imagine if it was?

00:17:34.000 I would just pull my pants down and shit all over...

00:17:39.000 Make it happen, Yoshi.

00:17:41.000 Yoshi, make it happen.

00:17:41.000 Just blast diarrhea all over Jay's desk.

00:17:45.000 I've been on the kale shakes a lot lately, man.

00:17:47.000 My poop is fantastic.

00:17:49.000 I love that, man.

00:17:50.000 Dude, Buble is the new kale.

00:17:52.000 Buble is the new kale.

00:17:53.000 Yes, because you kale me.

00:17:54.000 Buble is going to be the new Olive Garden.

00:17:56.000 I'm going to throw a fucking bottle of water at you.

00:18:01.000 I went to the Olive Garden the other day and it wasn't that good.

00:18:04.000 What happened?

00:18:05.000 I tried all their new stuff and it was like...

00:18:08.000 Oh, they're trying to get crafty?

00:18:09.000 No, it's not even that.

00:18:10.000 I've found that I eat late at night so I always go at 9 o'clock when it closes at 10 and you could tell the kitchen starts to break down at a certain moment.

00:18:19.000 Most restaurants, the kitchen is like, alright, we can start to break down, meaning you can stop making new soup, you can start putting everything away because there's only a few people left to order food.

00:18:28.000 And I feel like...

00:18:30.000 Lately, every time I go to a restaurant at that time period, it sucks.

00:18:34.000 And the ravioli I had was overcooked.

00:18:38.000 They have lasagna that's deep fried now or something like that.

00:18:42.000 It's so awesome.

00:18:44.000 But that felt like it was sitting in the fryer for 20 minutes.

00:18:46.000 So they probably pre-cooked it or something like that.

00:18:49.000 But don't go to a restaurant after 9 o'clock is what I'm saying.

00:18:52.000 You'll have not as good as food.

00:18:54.000 Because then we'd be tired.

00:18:56.000 Well, it's just because they start closing down the kitchen because it's about to close.

00:19:00.000 And people are tired, too.

00:19:01.000 It's my fault.

00:19:02.000 Don't go to Olive Garden after 9 o'clock.

00:19:04.000 Yeah, Olive Garden is like a 6 p.m.

00:19:06.000 sort of a meal.

00:19:08.000 6 p.m.

00:19:08.000 on the road.

00:19:10.000 Lunch.

00:19:11.000 Any restaurant is what I'm saying, though.

00:19:13.000 Not just Olive Garden.

00:19:14.000 Any restaurant.

00:19:15.000 What?

00:19:15.000 I got to eat dinner with Anthony Bourdain.

00:19:17.000 Oh, really?

00:19:18.000 Yeah, in Toronto.

00:19:19.000 Where'd you go?

00:19:20.000 Some restaurant, some nice place.

00:19:22.000 It was pretty cool.

00:19:22.000 We got there when it was about to close, and they had a bar.

00:19:25.000 We sat in the bar area, and they said, you know, the regular menu is closed, but we got this menu.

00:19:29.000 And I said, can you tell the chef that Anthony Bourdain is here?

00:19:33.000 That's what I said.

00:19:34.000 You dropped that bird dating card.

00:19:35.000 I totally did.

00:19:35.000 I don't think she knew.

00:19:37.000 So she ran back and the chefs came back with a book and he fucking signed their book and shit.

00:19:42.000 It was the coolest meal ever.

00:19:44.000 Me and my pal Anthony Giordano and Anthony and his crazy wife.

00:19:48.000 His wife wants to fight.

00:19:50.000 Can you imagine?

00:19:51.000 His wife is a badass, dude.

00:19:52.000 She's been doing jiu-jitsu and Muay Thai for like four years.

00:19:55.000 Completely obsessed.

00:19:56.000 She does them every day.

00:19:57.000 One in the morning, one at night.

00:19:58.000 I mean, she's got a thick neck and she's got fucking muscular arms and apparently she's like super, super aggressive.

00:20:04.000 I'm like, wow, what a strange situation that would be.

00:20:07.000 Have a wife that might be able to kick your ass, man.

00:20:10.000 Might be able to put a beating on you.

00:20:12.000 Do you think you could deal with that?

00:20:14.000 No.

00:20:15.000 You don't think you could deal with that?

00:20:16.000 No.

00:20:18.000 What if your chick just started getting into jiu-jitsu and fucking wanted her, and then eventually wanted to roll with you?

00:20:22.000 Like, come on, bitch.

00:20:23.000 No.

00:20:23.000 Come on, bitch.

00:20:24.000 What if you were fucking her, and then in the middle, she's like, eat my pussy, and right when you go down on her, she slaps a triangle on you and just puts you to sleep.

00:20:31.000 Could you imagine if that was, like, fun for her?

00:20:33.000 She hooks your leg.

00:20:34.000 You try to get off the bed.

00:20:35.000 She hooks your leg.

00:20:36.000 Boom!

00:20:37.000 Just slaps that sucker down.

00:20:39.000 No.

00:20:40.000 You wouldn't be into that?

00:20:41.000 No.

00:20:41.000 Would that scare the shit out of you?

00:20:43.000 No.

00:20:43.000 What if she was laughing?

00:20:44.000 Yes.

00:20:44.000 And she said, listen, I promise I'll blow you every day for a year.

00:20:48.000 Yeah, who cares?

00:20:49.000 That's like nothing.

00:20:49.000 That's like, hey, you want a handful of nickels?

00:20:53.000 I shouldn't have taken your soul.

00:20:56.000 I shouldn't have choked you unconscious.

00:20:58.000 Wow.

00:20:58.000 And have you always terrified every time you're near me now.

00:21:01.000 You have to switch the word blowjobs.

00:21:02.000 You have to switch it with something else.

00:21:03.000 Blowjobs means nothing to me.

00:21:05.000 Really?

00:21:06.000 What would she have to do?

00:21:07.000 Give you money?

00:21:08.000 No.

00:21:09.000 I don't know.

00:21:09.000 Pimp would go out in the street for you?

00:21:11.000 Show that she really loves you?

00:21:12.000 Cuddle during a movie?

00:21:14.000 That's all you want, right?

00:21:15.000 That's all you want.

00:21:16.000 Back rubs.

00:21:17.000 Animal massage.

00:21:19.000 Fucking weirdo.

00:21:20.000 Did you see...

00:21:21.000 Oh, wait.

00:21:21.000 I think you posted it.

00:21:23.000 That Christmas short that was supposed to be in front of the Anthony Bodine holiday special.

00:21:28.000 Yeah, his holiday special last night was so freaky.

00:21:31.000 If you DVR No Reservations...

00:21:34.000 DVR it and check out the...

00:21:37.000 or find it in DVRs.

00:21:38.000 You can search it.

00:21:39.000 It'll probably play in a repeat.

00:21:40.000 I think the Travel Network plays it all the time because sometimes I'll like...

00:21:43.000 I have it set to record all of my DVR and I'll come home and there'll be like 20 of them.

00:21:47.000 I've been gone for like a week.

00:21:48.000 How the fuck is there 20 of these things on here?

00:21:50.000 but it's just like they play the shit out of the show so if you find the Holiday one it's crazy it's so weird it's a really he told me about it he told me it was going to be nutty but I didn't know what to expect I don't want to tell you anything no spoilers you gotta see it it's so bizarre but awesome it's creepy Yeah, it came out of nowhere.

00:22:10.000 And this animation that they pulled from the show, apparently this is like...

00:22:15.000 Did you watch it?

00:22:16.000 No.

00:22:17.000 It was creepy.

00:22:18.000 I can see why they pulled it.

00:22:20.000 It was creepy.

00:22:22.000 It was almost maybe, I think, a viral marketing attempt from the Travel Channel, the whole thing.

00:22:27.000 No, how does that work?

00:22:29.000 Can we play that on the podcast?

00:22:30.000 No.

00:22:32.000 Yeah.

00:22:33.000 Are we sure?

00:22:33.000 No.

00:22:34.000 Somebody must own that, no?

00:22:36.000 No.

00:22:36.000 I don't know.

00:22:37.000 I'm sure we couldn't play the Siri thing at the beginning, but, you know, it's...

00:22:40.000 Yeah, but someone doesn't own that.

00:22:42.000 That's just a stupid computer voice.

00:22:43.000 If anything, the people who own the Biggie song...

00:22:46.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:22:47.000 It's...

00:22:47.000 Anymore, who knows?

00:22:48.000 You know, is it illegal for me to post random movies in the background on a wall?

00:22:53.000 You know, if it's only showing one inch of it.

00:22:56.000 Dude, don't talk about that shit.

00:22:57.000 Who knows, though?

00:22:58.000 Don't talk about that shit.

00:22:59.000 Why are you going to bring that up?

00:23:00.000 That's like El Kukui.

00:23:01.000 Don't talk about it.

00:23:02.000 It'll come.

00:23:03.000 It's like Candyman.

00:23:04.000 I'm not allowed to draw Gary Coleman, am I? No.

00:23:07.000 No, you're not.

00:23:09.000 Yeah, that's how you know how fucked up that show was.

00:23:11.000 Two of them are dead.

00:23:13.000 I love that show.

00:23:14.000 That's one of the shows I grew up on, and I love everything about that show.

00:23:17.000 Yeah.

00:23:19.000 I need another...

00:23:20.000 It's so weird watching TV nowadays.

00:23:21.000 They don't have that anymore because that's not...

00:23:24.000 Like, who cares?

00:23:24.000 Oh, you have a little black kid that you adopted.

00:23:27.000 Who cares?

00:23:28.000 Now what is it?

00:23:29.000 Like a little Iraqi kid?

00:23:32.000 Oh, you got an Iraqi kid?

00:23:33.000 Two Iraqi kids and you're an old man?

00:23:35.000 Oh, man.

00:23:36.000 Could you imagine if that was a fucking sitcom?

00:23:38.000 Right.

00:23:39.000 Jesus Christ.

00:23:40.000 You can't have those kind of sitcoms anymore.

00:23:42.000 You know, you could never have a Sanford and Son anymore.

00:23:45.000 You know, so if you had anything that was like semi-racist, like an all-in-the-family, you couldn't have that today.

00:23:51.000 So how are you going to have, you know, you'd miss out on 80% of the jokes.

00:23:55.000 If you had some guy with two little Arab kids...

00:23:57.000 Dude, Buble and Abdul.

00:23:58.000 That would be the name of the whole thing.

00:24:00.000 It would be like, Buble with two Iraqi kids.

00:24:03.000 Stop, Brian.

00:24:03.000 Stop.

00:24:04.000 I'll end the podcast, I swear to God.

00:24:05.000 You're not bringing me into your retarded world.

00:24:08.000 In your buble world?

00:24:09.000 You're going to be haunted.

00:24:11.000 So let's talk about this Mindbook thing, man, that these guys wanted us to talk about.

00:24:14.000 Yeah.

00:24:14.000 And they left.

00:24:15.000 They have a social networking site they put together.

00:24:17.000 These are the people that just left that were with Mr. Lipton.

00:24:21.000 And it's called www.mindbook.ws.

00:24:27.000 So that's mindbook.ws.

00:24:29.000 Why did I say www?

00:24:31.000 What am I, a fucking moron?

00:24:32.000 Like, people don't know that.

00:24:35.000 HTTP colon backslash backslash.

00:24:39.000 It's forward slash forward slash.

00:24:40.000 Yeah, that forward slash backslash thing.

00:24:42.000 Who cares?

00:24:43.000 That's like, it's forward slash.

00:24:45.000 That's like spell checking me nowadays.

00:24:46.000 Well, it's weird that that, you know.

00:24:48.000 Sounds better.

00:24:48.000 That that's the same protocol.

00:24:50.000 There's these little simple numbers.

00:24:52.000 How long is it going to be before let's just write the word in, you know, and go right to it?

00:24:57.000 Yeah.

00:24:59.000 H-T-T-P dot dot.

00:25:00.000 I mean, if you write CNN dot com, you don't have to write all that other shit.

00:25:04.000 Your browser does it for you.

00:25:05.000 Right.

00:25:05.000 So why do we have to see that?

00:25:06.000 I don't know.

00:25:07.000 Why do we have to know?

00:25:08.000 I don't know.

00:25:08.000 Let me put in the word.

00:25:10.000 And what's W-S really stand for?

00:25:12.000 Website, apparently they said.

00:25:13.000 Website.

00:25:13.000 But it's probably some funky country.

00:25:15.000 Yeah.

00:25:15.000 You know?

00:25:16.000 It's probably some weird country.

00:25:17.000 Like a lot of...

00:25:19.000 TV was like Transylvania or some shit.

00:25:22.000 People got TV, but it wasn't television.

00:25:26.000 TV stood for an abbreviation of some sort of a country.

00:25:30.000 And people got that internet address.

00:25:33.000 You're allowed to.

00:25:34.000 So I guess you're allowed to get this WS, whatever it is.

00:25:37.000 It's probably some weird country somewhere.

00:25:42.000 Should we Google that so we don't leave people in the dark here?

00:25:46.000 Let me find out what the hell this is.

00:25:48.000 WS domain.

00:25:51.000 By the way, I'm going bald, son.

00:25:55.000 Why?

00:25:56.000 Just from watching yourself on Free Factor?

00:25:57.000 No.

00:25:59.000 That, too.

00:26:00.000 Is that why you're thinking of it?

00:26:02.000 Yeah, man.

00:26:02.000 I watch myself in high definition.

00:26:03.000 I'm like, man, I'm going bald.

00:26:05.000 Well, what's weird is when they show, like, at the beginning, they have this...

00:26:08.000 Me and my shaggy young hair.

00:26:10.000 I don't like the new opening.

00:26:11.000 Is that just temporary?

00:26:12.000 I have no idea.

00:26:13.000 Ten years ago, a fear factor came in here and kissed you in the lips.

00:26:16.000 Your internet address, okay, website.ws story.

00:26:20.000 Okay, here it is, a WS story.

00:26:22.000 But it's weird to see your fucking, so much scalp.

00:26:25.000 Well, it's weird.

00:26:26.000 On the opening, they showed the young you, and then they showed the older you.

00:26:30.000 And it's like night and day difference how you've really transformed.

00:26:33.000 You look bigger, like meatier now.

00:26:36.000 Well, I didn't lift weights at all when I first started doing the show.

00:26:38.000 I got into really lifting weights probably around 2001 or 2002, which is right when Fear Factor just started.

00:26:45.000 Because that's when I really got into jiu-jitsu.

00:26:47.000 Before that, I had a problem with my knee.

00:26:48.000 I had what's called a bucket handle tear.

00:26:50.000 And it was real bad.

00:26:52.000 And it was from years ago.

00:26:54.000 And what would happen was, at least once every couple weeks, I would be doing something strenuous, anything strenuous, my knee would pop out and lock in place.

00:27:03.000 So what it is, is the meniscus would lift up like a bucket handle and get stuck.

00:27:07.000 It was fucking horrendous, man.

00:27:09.000 It was a real pain in the ass.

00:27:11.000 And it took me a long time before I ever got it fixed.

00:27:13.000 And then I finally did get it fixed.

00:27:15.000 And then I was able to really train hard again.

00:27:19.000 But until that, I would do something like I would lift weights.

00:27:21.000 I would bend over to tie my shoe and it would pop out.

00:27:24.000 And I would fall to the ground.

00:27:25.000 And my leg would be locked out.

00:27:27.000 And then it was fucked for hours, dude.

00:27:29.000 And then it was sore for weeks.

00:27:31.000 And then a couple weeks later, I'd get to the point where I'd go, let me just wear a brace, go back to jiu-jitsu class.

00:27:36.000 Boom!

00:27:37.000 It would pop again.

00:27:38.000 And then one time I tore it really bad.

00:27:40.000 It popped and tore so bad that I could not bend my leg.

00:27:43.000 So Eddie had to take me to the hospital.

00:27:45.000 And we went and they had to do an MRI on it.

00:27:47.000 And they gave me anti-inflammatories.

00:27:49.000 And eventually they shaved it down.

00:27:50.000 The lady was like, you know, you need to stop doing martial arts.

00:27:53.000 They were really judgmental about that shit.

00:27:56.000 The lady cornered me.

00:27:57.000 Listen, I'm telling you right now, you need to stop doing this stuff.

00:28:00.000 So I got that fixed, and then I started working out.

00:28:03.000 That's when I really got into seriously lifting.

00:28:05.000 And you're crazy.

00:28:07.000 On Twitter, I saw some people say, damn, Joe Rogan got fat.

00:28:11.000 And it's so weird.

00:28:13.000 I definitely am fatter.

00:28:15.000 They're right.

00:28:16.000 Were you ever doing an episode with no shirt on the whole time?

00:28:18.000 Well, people think I'm fatter than I am, for sure.

00:28:21.000 But I'm definitely fatter than I used to be.

00:28:22.000 Because when I used to fight, you know, when I first started doing, like, news radio, I was in, like, fighting shape.

00:28:28.000 I was in really good shape.

00:28:29.000 And I had, like, a very thin face.

00:28:32.000 You know, my whole body fat was, like, way lower than it is now.

00:28:34.000 I can, like, pinch fat on it.

00:28:36.000 And unfortunately, that makes me have a big, fat face.

00:28:39.000 That's so funny, though, when every time somebody says that, I'm like, you're crazy.

00:28:42.000 Well, I'm not really fat.

00:28:43.000 I mean, if you saw me with my shirt off, you wouldn't say that guy's fat.

00:28:46.000 No way.

00:28:46.000 But I'm not fat like I... I'm not thin like I used to be.

00:28:49.000 I used to be shredded.

00:28:50.000 When I was constantly doing taekwondo and kickboxing and everything, I had like 5-6% body fat all the time, especially when I was going to compete.

00:28:57.000 And then, you know, it never got really heavier than that until I got like deep into my 30s, when I was like working all the time and eating shit food.

00:29:05.000 You know, like after I did that men's fitness cover, I was in a cover...

00:29:09.000 That was the best shape I ever got in, and I just got lazy after that.

00:29:14.000 I didn't really lift weights at all anymore.

00:29:16.000 How was the Today Show?

00:29:18.000 We haven't talked about that.

00:29:19.000 You were on the Today Show.

00:29:20.000 I didn't even get to see it yet.

00:29:21.000 It was interesting.

00:29:21.000 It was weird.

00:29:23.000 They do it outside in this little plaza.

00:29:25.000 They do part of it in the plaza.

00:29:27.000 Al Roker, and I'm sorry, I don't remember the other two people.

00:29:29.000 I don't remember the name.

00:29:30.000 I apologize.

00:29:32.000 It's rude of me.

00:29:32.000 It's Jane Pauly.

00:29:33.000 Is it Jane Pauly?

00:29:34.000 No.

00:29:34.000 I forget their names, but they're very cool people.

00:29:37.000 And they're very tall, and I look like a little tiny person out there.

00:29:41.000 And so we're out there in the cold, and they say, hey, Fear Factor's coming back.

00:29:45.000 Yeah, yay.

00:29:46.000 And it's gone.

00:29:46.000 It's over and done, and Al Roker cracks a joke, and that's a wrap.

00:29:50.000 Did you smoke weed with Al Roker?

00:29:51.000 I wish I did.

00:29:52.000 I would love to smoke weed with Al Roker.

00:29:54.000 Al Roker's very friendly.

00:29:56.000 He's a very nice guy.

00:29:57.000 He's very friendly.

00:29:58.000 At least he has been every time I met him.

00:29:59.000 He's a very nice guy.

00:30:01.000 What is Matt Law?

00:30:02.000 He lost a shitload of weight too, man.

00:30:03.000 There's a guy who lost a lot of weight.

00:30:05.000 There's a guy who recognized that he had some sort of a problem with his diet and living his life that way and just straightened it out.

00:30:11.000 Well, he did the lap band thing, right?

00:30:13.000 Did he do that?

00:30:14.000 Yeah, I think that's what he did and I think he was successful at it.

00:30:17.000 We know many people that have had it, but they just started eating the same.

00:30:21.000 Well, I don't know about many, but we know about one.

00:30:22.000 Yeah.

00:30:23.000 Yeah, who just keeps breaking those fucking things.

00:30:25.000 Wow.

00:30:25.000 Which is so scary, you know?

00:30:27.000 The fact that he's just pumping food in there and snapping that cord.

00:30:30.000 Yeah.

00:30:30.000 I don't know how it works.

00:30:32.000 Do you understand how it works?

00:30:33.000 I think they just tie off your stomach, don't they?

00:30:35.000 To make it smaller.

00:30:36.000 And then your stomach does grow, you know, if you start eating.

00:30:39.000 You're just packing barbecue into that hole, that knot, trying to break it open.

00:30:43.000 Why did you say barbecue?

00:30:44.000 Barbecue would be delicious right now, wouldn't it?

00:30:46.000 Delicious.

00:30:48.000 But anyway, yeah, this guy actually had it done.

00:30:51.000 Which is really funny because all it does is, like, gets you to not eat as much.

00:30:54.000 Like, you could just do that on your own.

00:30:56.000 You don't have to get cut open.

00:30:57.000 But people, like, they trust their will so little that they would rather get cut open.

00:31:02.000 Yeah.

00:31:03.000 You know?

00:31:03.000 Fuck that.

00:31:04.000 That's craziness.

00:31:05.000 It's amazing.

00:31:07.000 It's amazing.

00:31:07.000 It's amazing that, you know, I mean, I can understand it when you're like on death's door and, you know, like I got to do something or I'm obviously out of control.

00:31:15.000 Man, I don't know if that's the thing to do.

00:31:17.000 I think you should look at yourself somehow, you know, whether it's some sort of a psychedelic experience or, you know, read books and get inspired, be around positive people.

00:31:26.000 I think that's probably the better option.

00:31:29.000 That's going to make a real change in your life because having an operation, even though it pushes you into a certain direction, like, okay, now we're moving positive.

00:31:36.000 We're getting in less food.

00:31:38.000 We're going to lose some weight.

00:31:39.000 We're going to put less pressure on the heart.

00:31:40.000 This is all good.

00:31:41.000 Even though that, it's not being done necessarily by you.

00:31:44.000 It's forcing you to do that.

00:31:46.000 And whenever you force yourself to do something, instead of learning and adapting your behavior naturally, and then Having that behavior eventually through positive reinforcement become the norm.

00:31:54.000 This is your normal behavior now.

00:31:56.000 I actually like to eat greens.

00:31:58.000 I like to eat a kale shake in the morning.

00:31:59.000 I like to be healthy.

00:32:01.000 So until that takes place, you're just going to repeat the same fucking patterns.

00:32:06.000 And that's with our friend who keeps blowing his shit out.

00:32:09.000 The issue is not this hole and how to stuff it.

00:32:13.000 It's why do you want to stuff it all the time like this, man?

00:32:15.000 What the fuck is going on?

00:32:17.000 Physiologically, psychologically...

00:32:19.000 I mean, I'm not against doing whatever the fuck you feel like you need to do to get yourself healthy.

00:32:23.000 You know, you want to do the lap band.

00:32:25.000 I totally think you should be able to do it.

00:32:26.000 But I think if I was your friend, you know, I would say, let's not be crazy.

00:32:31.000 Joey Diaz wouldn't do it.

00:32:33.000 That's why Joey wouldn't do it.

00:32:34.000 Joey was like, they cut you.

00:32:35.000 Once they cut you, they cut you open, dog.

00:32:37.000 Come on.

00:32:38.000 You telling me that I'm that weak?

00:32:40.000 I need to do that?

00:32:41.000 So Joey lost like 80 fucking pounds.

00:32:43.000 You know?

00:32:44.000 Didn't he lose something crazy like that?

00:32:45.000 He did at one point.

00:32:46.000 And you did too.

00:32:47.000 You lost a shitload of weight, dude.

00:32:49.000 Yeah.

00:32:49.000 How heavy did you get at one point?

00:32:51.000 What's the heaviest you ever got?

00:32:52.000 I think it was like 245, 250 or something like that.

00:32:57.000 Oh my god.

00:32:57.000 Wasn't it?

00:32:58.000 And then I got down, I know the lowest I got down I think was like 169, 175, somewhere around there.

00:33:03.000 And your head looked really big.

00:33:05.000 Yeah.

00:33:05.000 Right?

00:33:06.000 Isn't that funny?

00:33:06.000 I looked weird.

00:33:07.000 I look like Carlos Messia looks.

00:33:09.000 Well, no, he looks better than you looked.

00:33:10.000 I'm going to be honest with you.

00:33:11.000 When you gain weight, it's a weird thing.

00:33:14.000 Like, your head gets big, too.

00:33:16.000 Even if you gain weight through muscle lifting, guys gain a shitload of weight from power lifting and stuff, even if they're not on a sauce, their fucking heads get bigger, man.

00:33:26.000 I have a friend who's really big.

00:33:28.000 Have you seen this?

00:33:29.000 What is this?

00:33:30.000 Classless 3D. It's the new...

00:33:32.000 Oh, that's pretty dope.

00:33:33.000 Whoa.

00:33:34.000 That's a 3D that you don't have to wear glasses for.

00:33:37.000 Holy shit, this Nintendo DS is badass.

00:33:39.000 I have a friend who's about 300, 320 pounds, and his fucking head is enormous.

00:33:45.000 And I look at his head and I go, okay, even if he lost all the weight, how did his head get so big?

00:33:50.000 Did his head grow because his body was so fat?

00:33:54.000 What is it that made his head grow, too?

00:33:57.000 Yeah.

00:33:58.000 When you get older, your facial features get older.

00:34:02.000 Your nose and your ears.

00:34:04.000 Yeah, I've noticed that.

00:34:06.000 My nose seems larger than it was when I was a younger man.

00:34:09.000 I feel like it looks different.

00:34:11.000 It doesn't make any sense, but it looks different since I had that operation on the inside.

00:34:15.000 I feel like it got wider or something.

00:34:16.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:34:18.000 Right.

00:34:18.000 Well, maybe they carved out too much.

00:34:19.000 They wanted to save something as a cell.

00:34:22.000 It's stupid because there was no change to the structure of my nose at all.

00:34:25.000 But goddamn, it works better now.

00:34:26.000 Anybody who's ever thinking about doing that, I had a...

00:34:29.000 What's called...

00:34:29.000 There's a video of it on YouTube.

00:34:31.000 I forget the technical scientific term of what the operation's called.

00:34:34.000 But they went in and fixed a deviated septum.

00:34:37.000 And fuck, that was one of the best things I ever did.

00:34:39.000 I couldn't breathe out of my nose since I was like a little kid.

00:34:41.000 I broke my nose falling down a flight of stairs when I was like five.

00:34:44.000 My nose was crooked.

00:34:45.000 So my whole life, I've been a mouth-breathing fuck.

00:34:48.000 And to actually have...

00:34:52.000 It's such an amazing thing for me.

00:34:53.000 Is it 100% now or do you almost want to go back and get some more cut out of it?

00:34:57.000 No, no, no.

00:34:57.000 It's great.

00:34:58.000 No, it's great.

00:34:59.000 It's wide open.

00:35:00.000 It's amazing.

00:35:02.000 I hit the bag with my mouth closed.

00:35:04.000 I can hit the bag just breathing out of my nose.

00:35:06.000 I don't do it for long stretches at a time.

00:35:08.000 I'll take mouth breaths too.

00:35:09.000 But I want to make sure that I can exert myself.

00:35:12.000 There's this guy that I've been working with.

00:35:14.000 I've talked about him before.

00:35:15.000 His name is Steve Maxwell.

00:35:16.000 And he's on Twitter.

00:35:17.000 You can follow him.

00:35:18.000 If you go to Steve Maxwell or maxwellfitness.com or just Google him.

00:35:22.000 Google Steve Maxwell.

00:35:23.000 I apologize that I don't remember the website name.

00:35:27.000 It might be Maxwell Strength and Conditioning.

00:35:30.000 Either way, he's a brilliant guy and a brilliant strength and conditioning coach.

00:35:33.000 And one of the things that he has me working on is breathing.

00:35:37.000 And so you learn the correct way to breathe to calm your heart down.

00:35:42.000 It doesn't seem like that would work, but there really is a way to calm yourself down.

00:35:47.000 It's very difficult to do because one of the things that happens when your body goes into oxygen deprivation, when you're exhausted, when you're just totally worn out, you just want to...

00:35:56.000 You're just trying to get air in.

00:35:58.000 Well, obviously, the air that you have right now is enough to sustain you.

00:36:02.000 You are alive.

00:36:03.000 I understand that your body is sending messages and saying it needs more air.

00:36:06.000 We don't have enough air.

00:36:07.000 But you know what?

00:36:08.000 You're going to be fine.

00:36:09.000 You know what's going to fuck you up even worse?

00:36:11.000 If you freak out about this and your heart starts pounding a million miles an hour on top of the fact, from the adrenaline rush, on top of the fact that it's tired from being pushed and being exhausted.

00:36:20.000 And what he's teaching me is how to breathe in through your nose.

00:36:24.000 You breathe in like this.

00:36:27.000 So you're exhausted, completely exhausted.

00:36:30.000 You don't want to just like...

00:36:31.000 You want to take these big panic breaths, but that sends panic signals to your body.

00:36:36.000 You have to control it.

00:36:37.000 So you've got to be disciplined.

00:36:38.000 So as you're doing this, you want to take these breaths, but you go...

00:36:42.000 It's amazing how quickly everything relaxes.

00:36:46.000 It was a huge lesson to me.

00:36:48.000 Now, when I'm exhausted and working out, I force myself into breathing like that and I recover way quicker.

00:36:55.000 It's amazing.

00:36:56.000 And all this is like pranayamic breathing.

00:36:58.000 This is all like ancient yoga guys who were badass at this.

00:37:03.000 This is like a big part of yoga.

00:37:05.000 It's like breath control.

00:37:06.000 I used to have a friend, we used to call him Yoga Ray.

00:37:09.000 Ray Capone, he was...

00:37:10.000 I hope I didn't say his last name wrong.

00:37:13.000 Ray Capo, thank you.

00:37:15.000 Correcting myself.

00:37:16.000 And he was the head of this band.

00:37:18.000 I forget his band, but it was like a hardcore band.

00:37:22.000 Like crazy, wild noise kind of band.

00:37:25.000 And they were real popular.

00:37:26.000 And then he got into yoga.

00:37:28.000 And he became this yoga instructor.

00:37:31.000 And eventually just wound up, I think he gave up music entirely.

00:37:34.000 And he was just like teaching yoga to people at some big corporate retreat somewhere in upstate New York.

00:37:41.000 He was going to move up there with his family.

00:37:42.000 This guy had amazing cardio, dude.

00:37:45.000 I mean, amazing.

00:37:46.000 You would never see him gassed out, ever.

00:37:48.000 And he told me all he did was breathing exercises.

00:37:51.000 He would do these long, slow, deep breaths where you breathe in through your nose and it takes like a minute.

00:37:57.000 And then you hold it and then you slowly let the air out.

00:38:03.000 Slowly.

00:38:04.000 Like you just want to...

00:38:05.000 Your instinct is to just fucking panic and just let it all out and just breathe in and take gulps of air like you're drowning.

00:38:13.000 No, no, no, no.

00:38:14.000 Slowly let it out.

00:38:15.000 It's very difficult to do.

00:38:16.000 I've tried to do it.

00:38:17.000 I do it when I get in the tank.

00:38:19.000 For me, the quickest way to get completely relaxed and centered when I get into the tank...

00:38:25.000 Besides that certain special plant, hee hee.

00:38:28.000 The other thing is doing these breathing exercises.

00:38:33.000 You know, so many people don't know about breathing exercises and don't understand that, you know, your lungs, you can condition them and you can manipulate them and they're, you know, you're in control.

00:38:45.000 You're deciding when to take a breath and you're deciding when to push it out and you can use, like, Time-honored practices of manipulating that to actually strengthen your lungs and strengthen your aerobic capacity.

00:38:59.000 Because I'll tell you, man, this dude just had awesome control of his lungs.

00:39:01.000 He would never get tired.

00:39:03.000 That's a Hicks and Gracie principle, too.

00:39:05.000 Hicks and Gracie was like the greatest Gracie ever.

00:39:07.000 You know, pretty widely recognized as one of the greatest, if not the...

00:39:10.000 You know, everyone would say number one.

00:39:12.000 Every jiu-jitsu guy, almost 100% would say Hicks and Gracie.

00:39:15.000 He's that badass.

00:39:17.000 And the other thing about him is he's a yogi.

00:39:19.000 And he has these crazy abdomen muscles, man, where he's doing these breathing exercises in this video and he's sucking his whole stomach into his ribcage and then moving it left and right.

00:39:30.000 It's like the amount of manipulation that he can do with his abdominals and his breathing.

00:39:36.000 You and I can't even wrap our heads around it.

00:39:38.000 You watch a video of it, man, it's fucking crazy.

00:39:40.000 Like, pull it up on YouTube.

00:39:42.000 Pull up Hicks and Gracie breathing.

00:39:47.000 Breath exercises, breathing.

00:39:49.000 Hicks and Gracie from the documentary, Choke.

00:39:53.000 And it just makes you realize, man, that there's more to harness in your body than we're aware of.

00:39:59.000 There's some other shit.

00:40:00.000 And yoga is a really interesting aspect of that whole search.

00:40:04.000 Because I've found very few things in life that make my head feel as good as yoga does.

00:40:10.000 Yoga puts me in a real relaxed state.

00:40:13.000 I don't necessarily get to it that often these days, but whenever I do it, I'm always happy I did.

00:40:20.000 It always makes me feel peaceful after it's over.

00:40:25.000 And I think, you know, sometimes when I'm busy with a lot of shit, I actually subconsciously avoid doing anything enlightening because then it'll make me not want to work as hard, not want to get as much shit done, you know?

00:40:38.000 And so whenever I'm, like, avoiding yoga or avoiding even practicing a little bit of it on my own, I always know that I'm probably working too hard.

00:40:46.000 Did you find the video?

00:40:47.000 Here, check the screen right here and tell me if you see, recognize one of these.

00:40:51.000 Yeah, hold on a second.

00:40:53.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:40:54.000 Hicks and Gracie workout.

00:40:55.000 Yeah, he'll do what?

00:40:56.000 He does a workout, and then at the end of it, he does this crazy breathing shit.

00:41:00.000 Look at it.

00:41:01.000 He's...

00:41:01.000 After so much training, after so much work, after so much effort...

00:41:07.000 He's doing sit-ups on the beach right now.

00:41:09.000 This is the greatest jiu-jitsu artist ever.

00:41:12.000 This is a guy where every single family member will tell you, Hickson's the fucking best, man.

00:41:17.000 It's like a very interesting feeling when you feel yourself in your time to be capable to expose yourself in a way to fight and compete.

00:41:26.000 That's not means a victory or defeat or anything, but just be able to do it, you know?

00:41:36.000 This motherfucker, this guy is, like, there's not one person that will tell you that he's not good at jiu-jitsu.

00:41:45.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:41:46.000 There's not one person that will not tell you that this guy's a master.

00:41:48.000 You know?

00:41:50.000 He comes from a whole family of killers, and he's the number one killer.

00:41:55.000 And what he's right now doing is he's strengthening his neck with his giant bungee cord.

00:41:59.000 Really a brilliant guy, too.

00:42:01.000 I had a chance to eat dinner with him once and went to his house and discussed jiu-jitsu techniques and mixed martial arts.

00:42:08.000 The physical, the body as a machine, as a machine we need really to take care of.

00:42:14.000 You know, so I try to be beside a fighter.

00:42:17.000 I try to keep my physical...

00:42:19.000 This is it.

00:42:20.000 Very smooth as a combination where I can be very flexible, very strong, very fast, very well coordinated with a good balance, with a good breathing.

00:42:35.000 So those elements I try to combine.

00:42:37.000 Yeah.

00:42:39.000 Watch this shit.

00:42:40.000 This is going to freak you out, man.

00:42:40.000 Want me to slow this down for you?

00:42:41.000 No, no, I'm good.

00:42:43.000 Sometimes when I make my routines, I get in a very special stage of meditation.

00:42:48.000 And this is beautiful because I'm able to exercise and totally clean my mind and keep myself in the present moment.

00:43:00.000 That's so weird.

00:43:04.000 How crazy is that?

00:43:05.000 When you control your breath, you can actually control yourself mentally and physically.

00:43:13.000 You can really understand your fears and your emotional stress.

00:43:17.000 And you can freak girls out.

00:43:21.000 I like how they got the music playing in the background too.

00:43:24.000 Isn't it amazing though, what he can do with his stomach?

00:43:26.000 It's very strange to watch, man.

00:43:30.000 He's what I would say is a real martial arts master.

00:43:35.000 There's only a few of them out there in the world that people universally recognize as a martial arts master.

00:43:40.000 And Hickson is a martial arts master.

00:43:43.000 He's such an inspirational dude.

00:43:45.000 That documentary, Choke, I guarantee you, there's thousands of jiu-jitsu guys all over the world who watch that documentary, Choke, all the time just to watch Hickson.

00:43:55.000 When Hickson came on the scene, a lot of people don't know about Hickson.

00:43:58.000 They know about Hoist because Hoist won the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

00:44:02.000 But even Hoist said that if he ever got beat, they were waiting to put in Hickson.

00:44:06.000 Hickson was like Plan B. He was like the atomic bomb.

00:44:09.000 Like, we'll go in there with troops, but if you bitches...

00:44:12.000 He kills babies.

00:44:13.000 Get your shit together.

00:44:13.000 We're going to drop Hicks and Gracie on you.

00:44:16.000 And he went over and fought in Japan instead.

00:44:19.000 He fought in Japan Valley 2. I don't know if there's some politics involved, some family politics.

00:44:23.000 I don't understand all that.

00:44:24.000 But I do understand that watching him compete was amazing.

00:44:28.000 He didn't fight enough guys.

00:44:29.000 I really wish that we could have got a chance to see his high-level jiu-jitsu at work against some of the real best MMA fighters in the world.

00:44:36.000 But when we did see it, man, it was so dominant, man.

00:44:40.000 Talking to that dude, you ever talk to somebody and you get inspired and at the same time you're like, wow, this fucking guy is on such another level with his mind, the way he is so serious about things.

00:44:54.000 Yeah, like when you go to the Apple store and you talk to one of those guys.

00:44:56.000 No, totally different.

00:44:58.000 Is that how you feel?

00:44:59.000 I wish I was an Apple genius.

00:45:01.000 I wish I was behind the genius counter.

00:45:05.000 Anyway, breath control is fucking awesome.

00:45:08.000 It's like hooking.

00:45:09.000 Try that shit.

00:45:10.000 It's like hooking?

00:45:11.000 Hooking.

00:45:11.000 How's it like hooking?

00:45:12.000 Are you retarded today?

00:45:13.000 What's going on?

00:45:13.000 No, like when you're in the jet plane, you go...

00:45:16.000 Oh.

00:45:17.000 God, calm down, tiger.

00:45:19.000 You silly fuck.

00:45:20.000 Well, you've been saying silly shit all day.

00:45:22.000 No, I haven't.

00:45:23.000 Actually, everything I said makes sense.

00:45:24.000 Oh, what's that guy's name that you keep fucking repeating?

00:45:27.000 What?

00:45:27.000 Yeah, the singer that's everywhere.

00:45:29.000 Buble.

00:45:29.000 Yeah, you didn't get silly with that?

00:45:31.000 No, I'm telling you, I can't stop talking Buble now.

00:45:34.000 You're going to see what I'm talking about.

00:45:36.000 Now that you know who this guy's name is, it's going to haunt you.

00:45:38.000 I bet I'm not.

00:45:39.000 This Nintendo DS thing that you handed me, this 3DS thing, is amazing.

00:45:42.000 Yeah, it's really good.

00:45:44.000 My mom got it for me.

00:45:46.000 It really is.

00:45:46.000 3D. The Mario Brothers game.

00:45:48.000 If you're a big fan of Mario Brothers, it's done right for the first time being able to do a 3D game.

00:45:54.000 It's amazing.

00:45:55.000 I'm looking at it right now.

00:45:56.000 It's really a trip.

00:45:57.000 It even works a little bit at an off angle.

00:46:00.000 Yeah, but that's the big secret.

00:46:01.000 But you can see.

00:46:02.000 You have to look at it dead on to really get it.

00:46:04.000 You can see the wiring beneath the board.

00:46:07.000 There's two things I don't like about it.

00:46:09.000 One is that I have small hands, but I still found it was really cramped to play for a large period of time.

00:46:16.000 Yeah, I bet.

00:46:17.000 For a large period of time.

00:46:18.000 So I got this thing that just snaps into it.

00:46:20.000 It looks like an Xbox controller.

00:46:21.000 So you can just play it like it's an Xbox controller.

00:46:23.000 I guess I hit a button that activated a camera.

00:46:25.000 Oh, it's got a 3D camera.

00:46:27.000 You can take photos in 3D. And does it actually look like 3D? If I take a photo of me taking a photo, that's what I'm doing.

00:46:34.000 That would be interesting.

00:46:35.000 If you put something in the front, in the back, like that chair or something.

00:46:40.000 But yeah, it's got a 3D camera, and I'm having fun with it.

00:46:45.000 I didn't know it was that cool.

00:46:48.000 That's pretty dope.

00:46:48.000 Now, imagine when TVs are like that, though.

00:46:50.000 That's a small little screen, but imagine when TVs, the 3D is going to be like that.

00:46:55.000 Are these things, these mobile Game Boy type devices, are these things sort of like digital cameras where they're on their way out and it's all going to be incorporated into phones?

00:47:02.000 The iPad.

00:47:03.000 The iPad gaming.

00:47:04.000 The iPad itself.

00:47:06.000 This is the coolest thing ever.

00:47:07.000 Have you tried mirroring?

00:47:09.000 You've done that, right?

00:47:10.000 Yeah, mirroring where you do your Apple TV. Something even cooler.

00:47:13.000 There's this new thing called OnLive.

00:47:15.000 I don't know if you've heard it.

00:47:17.000 OnLive?

00:47:18.000 It's called OnLive, and it's a video game browser where you can sit here, and what it does is it's a service that you pay for every month, and it has all the latest video games, so you don't have to have a high-end computer anymore.

00:47:32.000 You don't have to have an Xbox anymore.

00:47:34.000 You play through this weird streaming technology, and it doesn't seem like it would work well, meaning you can sit there, I can sit here right now and play the new Batman video game, We're good to go.

00:48:01.000 Pretty much.

00:48:02.000 So your finger movements will dictate what is going to be like your controllers and everything.

00:48:08.000 Right.

00:48:08.000 And what's really cool, if you can see this, it's pretty sweet.

00:48:11.000 What's really cool is that also, if you're bored and you're sitting in your bed, you can sit here and watch anybody that's playing video games right now.

00:48:18.000 Holy shit.

00:48:19.000 And you can just go into their game and just...

00:48:21.000 Let me just explain to everybody.

00:48:23.000 Brian just pulled up a browser with...

00:48:25.000 How many fucking windows was that?

00:48:28.000 Hundreds.

00:48:29.000 What game is this?

00:48:30.000 Team Fortress or some shit?

00:48:32.000 I don't even know what this is.

00:48:33.000 But they have like Batman.

00:48:35.000 They have like any game.

00:48:37.000 You can just drop in on any of these games.

00:48:38.000 Drop in and just start watching.

00:48:39.000 So I've been lately...

00:48:40.000 How do you play them?

00:48:41.000 Can you play?

00:48:42.000 You can't on the iPad yet.

00:48:44.000 So the iPad is just watching people play games?

00:48:46.000 This is just watching.

00:48:47.000 This is like watching TV, though, of people playing any video game they have.

00:48:50.000 Which, by the way, I used to do all the time.

00:48:52.000 Yeah.

00:48:52.000 When I was addicted to Quake, I used to watch a lot of Quake demos.

00:48:54.000 Exactly.

00:48:55.000 But on Android, you can play it.

00:48:57.000 They just released the Android version, so you can play the games.

00:48:59.000 But I download on my Mac, and I can play games from my Mac here without having any video games on my thing.

00:49:05.000 And it works really well.

00:49:06.000 I was surprised how well it worked.

00:49:08.000 Wow.

00:49:09.000 At least for right now, five years from now, that would be the way to go.

00:49:13.000 There's not going to be Xboxes anymore.

00:49:14.000 You're just going to be fucking using your TV and a Bluetooth remote to your controller or whatever you're using.

00:49:22.000 Wow.

00:49:22.000 It's getting very strange.

00:49:24.000 But that's called OnLive.

00:49:25.000 I wonder what the next level is going to be.

00:49:27.000 With this 3D thing, it really makes me think that they're eventually going to get a 3D thing that's going to be on your regular television, will be 3D capable, just like everything became HD capable.

00:49:38.000 I mean, HD's been around for a long fucking time, but how long was it before everybody had an HD set?

00:49:43.000 Still, the majority don't.

00:49:45.000 Is it really the majority?

00:49:45.000 I bet the majority still does not have an HD set.

00:49:49.000 Wow, that's amazing.

00:49:50.000 You know, I did this tour, this satellite television tour, where you sit down and they connect you with all these different morning shows.

00:49:58.000 I want to talk to you about Fear Factor being back and that kind of shit.

00:50:00.000 Right.

00:50:00.000 And one of them we have to reset for because one news station somewhere, one TV station somewhere, doesn't have HD.

00:50:10.000 Right.

00:50:11.000 So because of this one, they have to reset everything and smash the signal and do something totally different.

00:50:16.000 I don't know how they change it, but they have to change it for this one network in the middle of nowhere that does not have HD. I go, what's that about?

00:50:24.000 It's like a mom and pop owned TV station.

00:50:27.000 Why don't they just pay for them to upgrade?

00:50:30.000 I wonder if that would be more expensive than having to do that.

00:50:32.000 I think it's super expensive.

00:50:35.000 I mean, it's a worthwhile investment, but if you're some ricky-dink town, and you've got, I mean, how many people have access to each television station?

00:50:48.000 If it's like Jasper, Wyoming, or some shit, some weird place no one's ever heard of, and they have a TV station, and you're clinking into it, it's on HD. Right.

00:50:58.000 It's crazy.

00:50:59.000 It's crazy that there's television stations that are not HD, but we have 1080p on our iPhones.

00:51:05.000 Our phones, yeah.

00:51:06.000 That is amazing.

00:51:07.000 Well, it's like there's a big wave, and not everything is at the front of the wave.

00:51:11.000 There's a lot of shit going on on the sides and the ends.

00:51:14.000 It's curious, though.

00:51:16.000 It's curious because if HD eventually gets replaced by 3D, all these people that just switched to HD will be like, motherfucker, I just got the newest shit.

00:51:25.000 If it ever becomes a...

00:51:27.000 I'm not a fan of the fucking glasses in the movies, but if you can show me movies that are as good from the sides and the edges as they are from the front, and it's 3D, we can just watch it on the screen.

00:51:38.000 Because right now, the way that looked, it's a big difference between head-on and on the edge.

00:51:43.000 If you had to watch Conan in 3D on the edge, you'd get annoyed at yourself.

00:51:48.000 It's like it's too fucking close.

00:51:50.000 Yeah.

00:51:52.000 It's hard for me to even go to a movie theater nowadays, though.

00:51:54.000 I never go.

00:51:55.000 I mean, I have big TVs and digital sound.

00:51:58.000 So, like, even that Monkey movie, I never got to see it, but it's out on DVD, so I might just go rent it.

00:52:02.000 I've been to movies three times in the last month, and two of those three times, people were talking during the movie theater, and it was annoying as shit.

00:52:09.000 Yeah, see, I don't need that.

00:52:09.000 I don't need that.

00:52:10.000 It was so annoying.

00:52:11.000 It's like, you know, people think it's fun, and they're laughing at shit.

00:52:14.000 You know, they're talking to each other about something totally not related to the movie, and you hear them laughing.

00:52:18.000 There's very few things that are distracting when you're hearing someone laughing out loud during a scene in a movie.

00:52:25.000 And you know what the problem is?

00:52:26.000 There's not a lot of people going to movies these days, so if you go during a weeknight, sometimes you'll go, like a 10 o'clock movie, and there'll be like fucking three couples in there, and that's it.

00:52:34.000 There's no one in there, man.

00:52:36.000 Yeah, they're on their way out.

00:52:36.000 Movie theaters, bookstores, you know, all that shit.

00:52:40.000 That makes me sad, man.

00:52:41.000 That makes me sad.

00:52:42.000 I'm going to miss both, for sure.

00:52:44.000 I love movie theaters.

00:52:45.000 I love the idea of, like, movies coming out, like when the Avengers comes out.

00:52:49.000 I want to be there opening weekend, man.

00:52:51.000 That's when all the fucking nerds are there.

00:52:52.000 They're real excited to be there at that movie.

00:52:55.000 I want to get tickets in advance.

00:52:57.000 You know what I mean?

00:52:57.000 Then it's a fun experience.

00:52:59.000 If you see a cool movie in a theater with a bunch of people and they're all into it, that actually enhances the experience.

00:53:06.000 But if you see a theater and it's half empty and the people are talking, God damn.

00:53:11.000 God damn, that's annoying.

00:53:13.000 They feel like they can do that when there's less people there.

00:53:17.000 That's when I've found that people are really rude.

00:53:19.000 It's not when the movie theater is crowded.

00:53:21.000 It's when there's only a few couples.

00:53:26.000 Especially if you get more than three boys together.

00:53:29.000 More than three teenage boys together.

00:53:32.000 That's all the time for me.

00:53:33.000 You and three teenage boys?

00:53:35.000 Is that your move?

00:53:38.000 I don't want bookstores to go out either, man.

00:53:40.000 I love bookstores.

00:53:41.000 I like the idea of walking by and going, huh, what is this?

00:53:45.000 Biography on who?

00:53:46.000 Huh, what did he do?

00:53:47.000 Oh, okay, let me read about this guy's life.

00:53:49.000 I like that.

00:53:50.000 I like that I can just walk down an aisle and go, you know what, maybe I want to read a biography today.

00:53:55.000 Or maybe I want to read about cars today.

00:53:57.000 I want something mindless.

00:53:58.000 I want to know the history of the Corvette.

00:54:00.000 Maybe it's, you know, I want to, you know, know about fucking solar power.

00:54:04.000 But I want to be able to just wander through and pick out something.

00:54:07.000 It's like the same thing with record stores, man.

00:54:09.000 I used to like record stores, man.

00:54:10.000 I used to like Virgin Records where you'd go and they would let you listen to the CD. You remember?

00:54:15.000 And there was no fucking headphones available because people would just stand there and listen to music all day.

00:54:20.000 And you'd be like, damn, I want to find out if this fucking record's any good.

00:54:23.000 That was like the first time anybody ever took a chance and said, listen, I know that you've been burned in the past, so here's what we're going to do.

00:54:29.000 We're going to let you listen to everything before you buy it.

00:54:33.000 Remember?

00:54:33.000 That was like fucking revolutionary.

00:54:36.000 Now people download the whole fucking thing.

00:54:38.000 And if they really like it, they'll buy it on iTunes.

00:54:41.000 I still buy...

00:54:42.000 Most people don't do that, I don't think.

00:54:44.000 I think most people just steal nowadays, but I still buy a CD here and there.

00:54:48.000 Definitely, yeah.

00:54:49.000 Yeah.

00:54:50.000 But the problem is I don't go to a record store.

00:54:52.000 I go to Amazon.

00:54:53.000 You just get them delivered to you?

00:54:56.000 Where was I just at?

00:54:57.000 Oh, I was at Best Buy, and there was so many things, and I'm like, oh, dude, that's cool.

00:55:01.000 Wait, let me just go on Amazon.

00:55:03.000 Oh, shit.

00:55:04.000 Yeah, it's 40% cheaper on Amazon.

00:55:06.000 Is it really?

00:55:06.000 40% cheaper?

00:55:07.000 There's so many things.

00:55:08.000 Here's a good example.

00:55:10.000 This is kind of obvious.

00:55:12.000 Urban Outfitters has this...

00:55:14.000 Video game system that plays like old Nintendo, old Super Nintendo, old Genesis.

00:55:18.000 Anyways, they have it on sale for $100.

00:55:21.000 It's on Amazon for $44.

00:55:23.000 Holy shit.

00:55:24.000 Yeah, and that's just like how Best Buy is.

00:55:26.000 Best Buy is all the time.

00:55:28.000 You just go through everything and you're like, wow, it's on sale right now.

00:55:30.000 Best Buy has Windows laptops for like $700.

00:55:32.000 How much can you get a good Windows laptop for these days?

00:55:34.000 Dude, you can get a good Windows laptop for $300.

00:55:37.000 Holy shit.

00:55:38.000 Yeah, and you're not going to be editing video, but nowadays, shit's so cheap.

00:55:42.000 That's amazing.

00:55:43.000 You can get a laptop for $300, like a good one, like a Toshiba or something like that.

00:55:47.000 Really?

00:55:48.000 Absolutely.

00:55:49.000 That's amazing.

00:55:51.000 That's amazing.

00:55:51.000 That's one of my favorite complaints, too, when people start talking about Apple.

00:55:54.000 I can get the same specs in a Windows box for one-third the price.

00:55:59.000 Yeah.

00:55:59.000 But yeah, but you'd be running Windows.

00:56:01.000 Do you understand that?

00:56:01.000 Exactly.

00:56:02.000 You silly goose.

00:56:03.000 People get mad at me, man.

00:56:05.000 That's one of the things I've had mentioned on Twitter.

00:56:07.000 People say something like, Dude, I think you're cool and everything until you start talking about Mac and PC and you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

00:56:14.000 Like, whoa.

00:56:15.000 It won't change until Walmart starts selling Apple computers.

00:56:19.000 Someone got a little touchy.

00:56:21.000 Someone's a little uncomfortable with the reality of the fact that your shit gets viruses.

00:56:25.000 Well, they can make viruses for the Mac platform as well.

00:56:28.000 There's just not enough people doing it for them to justify making it.

00:56:31.000 Yeah.

00:56:32.000 Whatever.

00:56:33.000 Okay.

00:56:34.000 I think those people would be so...

00:56:36.000 The people that write viruses are probably on Windows and they would probably want to destroy the Apple fanboys as much as possible.

00:56:44.000 If they could try to extract money is what they're trying to do.

00:56:46.000 If it was easy to extract money.

00:56:47.000 There's just a big enough market with Windows computers.

00:56:49.000 Why fuck with it?

00:56:50.000 It's so easy to get into your shit.

00:56:52.000 Yeah.

00:56:52.000 You know?

00:56:52.000 All you have to do is click a link.

00:56:54.000 I mean, how stupid is that?

00:56:55.000 You click a link and you get a virus.

00:56:57.000 Hi!

00:56:58.000 Oh, sorry, your fucking virus detection wasn't ready for this.

00:57:01.000 Oh, I just snuck into your bases and I got you pregnant.

00:57:04.000 Sorry, stupid.

00:57:05.000 Not all your data is no good.

00:57:06.000 Hell spawns inside of you making babies.

00:57:08.000 I'll tell you what's the most annoying thing in the world.

00:57:11.000 Somebody told me to call this number.

00:57:12.000 It was like 1-800-WET-TITS. On one of the other podcasts, he's like, oh, I got a new 1-800 number, and so he wanted everyone to call this number.

00:57:20.000 What it was is like 1-800-WET-TITS or boobs or something like that.

00:57:23.000 And it's just this girl going, oh, you want my...

00:57:25.000 I have really wet boobs.

00:57:26.000 It's like a recording.

00:57:27.000 And then at the end of, like, this two-minute speech she gives, she's like, call this number, you know, to talk to me live.

00:57:34.000 But the problem is now, ever since...

00:57:36.000 Because I called on my phone and put it on speakerphone just so we could play on the podcast.

00:57:39.000 The problem is that now, nonstop, every day, I'm getting a text message, like, automated, like, hey, me and my crazy roommate want to suck your butthole out and call this number, you know?

00:57:48.000 And it's like, I'm now in a spam...

00:57:51.000 No, I don't get spam on my phone.

00:57:56.000 So you never get random text messages that are trying to sell you or do something?

00:57:59.000 No.

00:57:59.000 Great, I don't know what to do now.

00:58:00.000 I'm sure I can call AT&T. Someone got your number.

00:58:04.000 Well, no, it's because I called a phone number and I got automatically put on some text message calling list.

00:58:09.000 So you can block them.

00:58:10.000 I'm sure you can find out what number that's coming from and tell AT&T no text messages from them.

00:58:14.000 Yeah, but that should be against the law.

00:58:17.000 What if you accidentally called that number by mistake?

00:58:19.000 Now that you're just signed up for some spamming?

00:58:22.000 You know what I mean?

00:58:24.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:58:25.000 It's bullshit.

00:58:26.000 But, whatever.

00:58:27.000 It's amazing it's taken this long for them to infiltrate.

00:58:30.000 Think about how long people have been getting text messages, and just now they're figuring out how to get in there?

00:58:34.000 That's amazing.

00:58:36.000 That's pretty incredible when you really think about it.

00:58:40.000 Dude, now with the Patriot Act, they can listen to everything.

00:58:44.000 They can listen to all your calls.

00:58:45.000 With every fucking new bill that gets passed, they can dig into all your text messages, all in the name of you could be a terrorist.

00:58:54.000 All you have to do is be a single guy in your 40s.

00:58:57.000 You could be a terrorist.

00:58:58.000 All you have to do is have a year's worth of food.

00:59:03.000 I forget who did a description of it, but...

00:59:07.000 Was it Jon Stewart?

00:59:08.000 I forget who it was.

00:59:09.000 But they had all these descriptions of what is defined, how it defines a terrorist now.

00:59:14.000 It's unbelievable.

00:59:15.000 It's ridiculous.

00:59:16.000 Like, if you have missing fingers, you could be a terrorist.

00:59:20.000 If you wear that Casio watch that I have, you're a terrorist.

00:59:24.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:59:24.000 That one watch.

00:59:25.000 Yeah.

00:59:26.000 That one watch, because they use that for timing shit, right?

00:59:29.000 Right.

00:59:29.000 It's just standardized.

00:59:31.000 Just a watch.

00:59:32.000 A fucking regular watch.

00:59:33.000 Right.

00:59:34.000 And you could be on a watch list.

00:59:36.000 God damn it.

00:59:37.000 How did this all fall apart like this?

00:59:39.000 That Bruce Lipton guy kind of freaked me out.

00:59:41.000 Yeah.

00:59:42.000 Didn't he freak you out a little?

00:59:43.000 No, I mean, I think, for the most part, it was really good.

00:59:46.000 It was really, you know, you either believe that or don't, and I've always kind of believed what he talks about, so I agree.

00:59:54.000 I don't know.

00:59:55.000 I 100% believe what he says.

00:59:57.000 You know who's going to freak you out, man?

00:59:58.000 Michael Rupert, when I get that guy on here.

01:00:00.000 Yeah, I don't know that guy.

01:00:01.000 He's going to smoke cigarettes with you, too, remember?

01:00:03.000 He smokes cigarettes every five seconds.

01:00:05.000 That Collapse movie, man.

01:00:06.000 Oh, right.

01:00:07.000 You know?

01:00:08.000 And I want you to talk to him, too, about the whole thing that he said about the cell phones.

01:00:12.000 Okay.

01:00:12.000 Remember he said they stopped upgrading their towers?

01:00:15.000 Oh yeah, he's probably changed his mind now.

01:00:18.000 That's just obvious now.

01:00:21.000 But that does speak to a direction that he was going in.

01:00:26.000 When is that?

01:00:27.000 I want to re-watch that movie again.

01:00:29.000 I remember I was very passionate about a few things on that.

01:00:31.000 But I'm exchanging emails back and forth with his assistant.

01:00:35.000 We're working that shit out.

01:00:36.000 There's so many people I want to get on the podcast.

01:00:38.000 Yeah, me too.

01:00:39.000 Like who?

01:00:39.000 Who else?

01:00:40.000 I want to get Nick Swartzen back.

01:00:42.000 Yeah, I would love to get Nick back.

01:00:43.000 If he's got more than 45 minutes to kill.

01:00:45.000 Kevin Pereira.

01:00:46.000 Kevin would be great again.

01:00:48.000 I told you I did Tack of the Show yesterday.

01:00:50.000 He's great.

01:00:51.000 I went to his Christmas party.

01:00:52.000 It was awesome.

01:00:53.000 Oh yeah?

01:00:53.000 I saw pictures of it.

01:00:54.000 What the fuck was he dressed like?

01:00:55.000 Well, he had a P90X holiday party, and so you were supposed to dress in holiday sweaters mixed with P90X clothing.

01:01:06.000 P90X, the workout program?

01:01:07.000 The workout program.

01:01:08.000 I have no idea.

01:01:10.000 P90Xmas is what it was?

01:01:12.000 Yeah, and so you had to come there with your favorite ornaments and stuff like that, so I cut off the Avatar fleshlight vagina and put a hook in it.

01:01:21.000 Oh, no you didn't.

01:01:22.000 Yeah, I washed it.

01:01:24.000 You put a hook in it?

01:01:26.000 Yeah, and hung it on the tree when I walked in.

01:01:28.000 Wow, God.

01:01:30.000 No, and then it was cool, though.

01:01:32.000 He has one of those arcade games.

01:01:34.000 I told you about this.

01:01:35.000 He has a MAME arcade game, which had, like, every single, allegedly, every single video game on it.

01:01:40.000 And, like, he had Dragon's Lair, Space Ace, like, and there was this game called Rastin.

01:01:44.000 I don't know if you remember this from the, I think it was the 80s.

01:01:47.000 It was, like, this Conan O'Brien guy.

01:01:49.000 It was just, like, a simple slasher, like a Conan O'Brien slasher.

01:01:53.000 And it was one of the coolest games to see, because I haven't seen it since I was a kid.

01:01:57.000 So check out Rastin.

01:01:59.000 See if it brings back memories.

01:02:00.000 It's like Conan O'Brien.

01:02:01.000 Dude, I was watching.

01:02:03.000 They were showing some game.

01:02:04.000 I don't know what it was, but I believe it was a game for the iPad.

01:02:07.000 Some crazy fantasy game.

01:02:09.000 You're upgrading your weapons and swords.

01:02:12.000 But it was like really wild fucking animation.

01:02:15.000 And I was watching.

01:02:16.000 I was like, this is incredible.

01:02:17.000 It's on an iPad.

01:02:17.000 It's really new.

01:02:18.000 You know whose is that?

01:02:20.000 It was they were reviewing it.

01:02:21.000 Oh, is it Cliffy's game?

01:02:22.000 Yeah, it's Cliffy's.

01:02:23.000 Of course it is.

01:02:23.000 There you go.

01:02:24.000 One of his...

01:02:26.000 Not his games, but Epic Games.

01:02:28.000 Dude, it's fucking amazing looking.

01:02:30.000 I mean, it's incredible.

01:02:31.000 And I was watching, I was like, wow, we're at the level where that is coming out on a fucking iPad?

01:02:37.000 That's incredible.

01:02:38.000 Yeah, the iPad's pretty badass.

01:02:40.000 And supposedly the third one's going to be the latest rumor since February.

01:02:44.000 Third one's going to rub your dick.

01:02:46.000 It seems like they just came out with the second one.

01:02:48.000 I'm kind of getting angry about that shit.

01:02:49.000 Well, it's been almost a year.

01:02:51.000 I think they're doing one a year.

01:02:53.000 I still have the first generation.

01:02:54.000 I'm an old holdout.

01:02:55.000 I'm like one of those dudes you meet that has the iPhone with the aluminum in the bottom.

01:03:00.000 Those guys...

01:03:00.000 You don't even use those anymore.

01:03:02.000 That thing's made out of wood.

01:03:03.000 You can't use them anymore?

01:03:04.000 Well, I mean, you have to like...

01:03:05.000 You can barely use them.

01:03:06.000 Well, you can.

01:03:07.000 You just have to not ever update your iTunes.

01:03:09.000 Yeah.

01:03:10.000 Yeah.

01:03:10.000 If you update your iTunes, oh, you're fucked.

01:03:13.000 Everybody says that, too.

01:03:14.000 What you were saying, that whenever you update your operating system on the older phones, it just seems so clunky.

01:03:20.000 Yeah, they do it on purpose.

01:03:21.000 Yeah, they make it super badass for the new shit, for the next level shit.

01:03:26.000 Yeah, but they do it on computers also.

01:03:27.000 They're forcing you.

01:03:28.000 They're holding your hand.

01:03:29.000 Yeah.

01:03:29.000 You can look at it and they're forcing you in a bad way, but they're forcing you to catch the fuck up.

01:03:34.000 It's positive in general.

01:03:36.000 Everyone's faster.

01:03:37.000 Getting shit done faster.

01:03:38.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:03:40.000 Playing with yourself faster.

01:03:42.000 Did you see that shootout that happened here in Hollywood?

01:03:46.000 Yes.

01:03:47.000 Yes.

01:03:47.000 What the fuck was that all about?

01:03:49.000 I don't know, but what's crazy is I found they released his name.

01:03:53.000 I read this small report where they released his name.

01:03:55.000 Tell everybody the story.

01:03:56.000 Okay, so there was this guy on, I think it was right next to the movie theater, the Citadel.

01:04:00.000 Vine, I think, in Hollywood.

01:04:01.000 Hollywood and Vine, right.

01:04:02.000 That just had a gun and he was walking down the street and every time somebody would drive by, just bam, bam, shooting people non-stop.

01:04:09.000 One guy got hit in the head.

01:04:10.000 He was a music executive here.

01:04:11.000 I think he might have died.

01:04:13.000 Hit him in the head.

01:04:15.000 He just pointed it right in his head and just bam.

01:04:18.000 He was just walking down the street doing all this shit.

01:04:20.000 Finally, the police came and they shot him down and they killed him.

01:04:24.000 But what's crazy, they released his name finally.

01:04:26.000 He was like a 26-year-old.

01:04:27.000 And if you go to his Twitter page, and I tweeted it.

01:04:31.000 I don't know where it is.

01:04:32.000 It's on my timeline.

01:04:32.000 But if you go to his Twitter page, his photos or the people we followed were all marijuana activists, gun activists, and then C-SPAN shit.

01:04:45.000 And then so I found his Facebook.

01:04:47.000 Then went on his Facebook, and his Facebook, he, like six days ago, went to a single in relationship status.

01:04:54.000 Oh, God.

01:04:54.000 And he was saying things like, I finally get Steve Jobs' last words or something like that.

01:04:59.000 Oh, God.

01:05:00.000 And then I'm like, oh, great.

01:05:01.000 But what's weird is if you looked at what he watched, his interest on Facebook and stuff was C-SPAN and weird shit.

01:05:09.000 Who watches C-SPAN 1 and 2?

01:05:12.000 That's what it says.

01:05:14.000 Yeah, that's like looking at your registry.

01:05:17.000 Right.

01:05:18.000 Yeah.

01:05:19.000 And he also was like, he only tweeted like three times, and one of his tweets was like, Charlie Sheen, need more tiger blood.

01:05:26.000 I ran out.

01:05:28.000 Whoa.

01:05:29.000 Jesus Christ.

01:05:31.000 There's some sad, crazy fuckers out there, man.

01:05:34.000 Right.

01:05:34.000 That's a scary thing, though, that this guy would just randomly start shooting people.

01:05:37.000 That scares me to see, though.

01:05:38.000 The video that they have on was very scary.

01:05:41.000 Yeah, it was terrifying.

01:05:42.000 He's just walking down the street shooting at cars.

01:05:44.000 Innocent people.

01:05:46.000 Yeah, it's scary shit, man.

01:05:47.000 But, you know, you have to worry about that whenever you have, you know, more than 10 people.

01:05:53.000 Yeah.

01:05:54.000 Even when you have 10 people, man.

01:05:56.000 You know, how many people...

01:05:57.000 Have you ever known someone when they were young, they were normal, and then as they got older, they got crazier and crazier?

01:06:01.000 When reality didn't sort of fit their vision of what reality was supposed to be.

01:06:05.000 And then they started doing a lot of creepy shit and never really sort of saw the world for the way it really is.

01:06:12.000 And then they start getting crazy.

01:06:13.000 Have you ever met people like that?

01:06:15.000 Most comics.

01:06:16.000 Yeah, a lot of them.

01:06:17.000 We know a lot of them that went crazy, right?

01:06:20.000 That's an interesting thing to see.

01:06:21.000 It's an interesting thing to see someone legitimately lose their grip on reality.

01:06:27.000 We've seen it.

01:06:28.000 You and I have seen it.

01:06:29.000 We've seen it many times.

01:06:31.000 Yeah.

01:06:31.000 It's fucking weird, huh?

01:06:33.000 It's weird.

01:06:33.000 Weird watching people slip away.

01:06:35.000 So what do you do about that?

01:06:37.000 We can't do shit.

01:06:38.000 Nope.

01:06:39.000 Can't bring them back.

01:06:40.000 They gotta bring back themselves.

01:06:43.000 I just totally forgot what we were talking about.

01:06:45.000 Right before this last thing.

01:06:48.000 Todd Bridges and the Olive Garden.

01:06:50.000 You need to take him to the Olive Garden.

01:06:52.000 That would be nice if you guys...

01:06:54.000 I don't want to hang out with him.

01:06:55.000 I just feel bad that I said that.

01:06:57.000 I shouldn't have.

01:06:58.000 It's not in keeping with my idea of being a positive person.

01:07:03.000 But that's just...

01:07:04.000 Sometimes shit happens, man.

01:07:06.000 You get tired.

01:07:07.000 You say something you shouldn't have said.

01:07:08.000 That's why no one's perfect.

01:07:10.000 We apologize.

01:07:11.000 And then we move on.

01:07:14.000 Don't let it get to, man.

01:07:15.000 Todd Bridges is a nice guy, I'm sure, and he gets it.

01:07:20.000 Well, I just don't like when I do something like that, and I don't like how I was thinking.

01:07:25.000 Sometimes you get tired, man.

01:07:27.000 You make some fucking mistakes.

01:07:29.000 If you get tired and cranky, or if you're just overrun or overburdened.

01:07:34.000 Do you find yourself when you're tired and cranky, like you just...

01:07:38.000 Don't like your behavior.

01:07:39.000 Lately, I've just been a complete asshole just because I have no time.

01:07:43.000 Do you feel like that sometimes with your girl?

01:07:45.000 Sometimes it deteriorates your relationship because you're tired and you're just snappy.

01:07:52.000 To me, it's like I'm in my own world because I'm trying to deal with a thousand things that are coming at me.

01:07:59.000 The other day, I had to check myself and I had to say, look, I am completely ignoring my relationship right now.

01:08:06.000 I'm like, I need to stop working as much.

01:08:10.000 So I'm making myself not do as much on purpose.

01:08:13.000 Like, I'm taking a day off here and there.

01:08:16.000 Where, like, I went almost two months, like, every day.

01:08:18.000 You need to activate yellow band.

01:08:20.000 Huh?

01:08:20.000 Yeah, I do need to.

01:08:21.000 Activate yellow band!

01:08:22.000 I need to activate money band.

01:08:24.000 How is he controlling the situation?

01:08:29.000 Well, that's something we need to work on.

01:08:32.000 Because I have not even talked to them about anything.

01:08:34.000 The other day, I was on stage, and I got off stage, and they turned off the podcast during the Ice House Chronicles.

01:08:38.000 I'm like, what happened?

01:08:39.000 They were like, well, everyone got up and said to turn it off.

01:08:41.000 I'm like, wait, wait, you're the guy in charge.

01:08:44.000 You knew I was coming back.

01:08:46.000 But it's just working out the, now you'll never do that.

01:08:49.000 Now I'm like, nah, don't ever do that.

01:08:50.000 Right, so you have to, a little bit of trial and error.

01:08:52.000 Yeah, but that's what's cool about the Joe Rogan experience.

01:08:54.000 We started off with snowflakes, and every day we love something new.

01:08:58.000 Yeah, on a laptop just for a goof.

01:09:00.000 And now we're coming up on a two-year anniversary, so we're going to have a celebration of this shit.

01:09:06.000 Yeah, and also this week we're having two shows, and on Saturday we're having a huge party, so maybe that could be the celebration.

01:09:12.000 Yeah, that's close enough to the time.

01:09:15.000 We started on New Year's Eve, right?

01:09:18.000 Christmas Eve.

01:09:18.000 Christmas Eve?

01:09:19.000 Yeah, Christmas Eve.

01:09:20.000 So yeah, we're right there.

01:09:21.000 I mean, what is it?

01:09:22.000 Like the 13th or something like that today?

01:09:24.000 Yeah.

01:09:24.000 Have you ever heard of the Rose Bowl Parade?

01:09:26.000 Yeah.

01:09:27.000 I've been, but I've heard of it.

01:09:28.000 It's right here.

01:09:29.000 This is where it happens.

01:09:30.000 What does that happen?

01:09:31.000 I think New Year's Eve or New Year's Day or something like that.

01:09:34.000 Or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

01:09:36.000 We should podcast from the Rose Bowl Parade.

01:09:38.000 I know, but they put these weird signs on the street outside the studio here, and they say, any cars parked here from December 23rd to January 4th are subject to inspection.

01:09:51.000 Oh, well, that makes sense.

01:09:52.000 That makes sense.

01:09:53.000 I know.

01:09:53.000 You know, you can't have someone park a fucking dirty bum.

01:09:56.000 Yeah, but does that mean any kind of inspector and they just want to look at what kind of CDs I'm listening to?

01:09:59.000 No, it's Homeland Security.

01:09:59.000 They're going to find your weed.

01:10:01.000 They're going to find your weed and your girlfriend's porn.

01:10:03.000 They're going to lock you up in jail.

01:10:05.000 I've got to take the anonymous mask out of the window front.

01:10:07.000 Yeah, take that fucking anonymous mask out right now and put a fucking American flag.

01:10:11.000 How about that?

01:10:12.000 You have these things you have in front of the windows.

01:10:15.000 How about we hang American flags?

01:10:17.000 What's more American than our thoughts and ideals?

01:10:19.000 Because it's real America.

01:10:20.000 Not this bullshit fucking corporate swindle fest that's going on, Brian.

01:10:25.000 Real America is about speaking your fucking mind.

01:10:28.000 It's about creating something, uniting together in one giant bond as the greatest nation the world has ever known.

01:10:34.000 So we should put up our fucking flags because we truly represent America, not those cunts that would try to stop us.

01:10:39.000 I'm going to hang mine upside down.

01:10:42.000 You're too crazy.

01:10:42.000 Is that bad?

01:10:43.000 Is that mean?

01:10:44.000 It's supposed to be, yeah.

01:10:44.000 I wouldn't do it.

01:10:45.000 If anything, they would piss off a soldier.

01:10:47.000 What if it's for people hanging upside down to look at the flag?

01:10:49.000 What if someone's back from Iraq and he's had a fucking hard time and he's loading up his gun right when he drives by your window and sees you with an upside down flag and decides to pump nine into your fucking window?

01:10:58.000 Huh?

01:10:58.000 What if you have somebody hanging upside down and then it's upside right for them?

01:11:03.000 Oh, okay.

01:11:03.000 I see what you're saying.

01:11:04.000 So you have the world is upside down?

01:11:06.000 I think you can get away with that as long as you have little bushes and stuff by the guy's feet as well.

01:11:10.000 Or hostages hanging upside down.

01:11:12.000 Hostages.

01:11:13.000 No, the theme has to be clear.

01:11:14.000 The guy has to be glued to the ground like he's walking through the park and the American flag is just there, all nice and proud, just upside down from your perspective.

01:11:22.000 Right.

01:11:23.000 But he lives in Australia.

01:11:24.000 It's called thinking up, you know, different.

01:11:26.000 He comes from the land down under where everything's upside down.

01:11:29.000 You know, in Australia, you can't even fuck around outside.

01:11:31.000 You've got to put sunscreen on because their ozone layer is gone.

01:11:34.000 Oh, that's so weird.

01:11:35.000 They've got a big hole in the ozone layer.

01:11:36.000 So when you're in, did I say Alaska?

01:11:39.000 I don't know.

01:11:39.000 No, I think you said Australia.

01:11:41.000 I meant Australia if I did say Alaska, because I was going to say something about Alaska as well.

01:11:44.000 But in Australia, they have these ads on the side of buses, and they're fucking pretty graphic, man.

01:11:51.000 And they show people with chunks of their body cut out from skin cancer.

01:11:55.000 They show the stitches, and it says, I forget the ad campaign, but the basic message is, hey, you can get this from the sun, dude.

01:12:03.000 You've got to be careful.

01:12:04.000 Isn't that interesting?

01:12:04.000 That's weird.

01:12:05.000 Yeah, they have more issues than we do, apparently.

01:12:09.000 That ozone layer is a motherfucker.

01:12:11.000 And everybody says it was hairspray and all sorts of different things that eroded it.

01:12:15.000 It's probably boomerangs.

01:12:16.000 Terrifying.

01:12:17.000 Boomerangs.

01:12:18.000 Can you imagine?

01:12:19.000 Well, I guess it just all settles down there by the way the Earth is built.

01:12:24.000 I don't know if that's a theory that's been disproven or proven or what.

01:12:28.000 I finally watched Tangled, and I really liked that movie.

01:12:31.000 It was a really good movie, man.

01:12:32.000 My middle one told me yesterday that she's not a fan of Tangled anymore.

01:12:39.000 Why not?

01:12:39.000 She has this Tangled thing in her room.

01:12:43.000 She's like, I don't like Tangled anymore.

01:12:45.000 That's the funny thing about kids.

01:12:46.000 They love something, and then they watch the fuck out of it.

01:12:49.000 It was Dora the Explorer for a little while.

01:12:51.000 She would watch the fuck out of Dora the Explorer, and now she doesn't want to have anything to do with it.

01:12:55.000 They move on to the next show, and then it becomes the next show that they're massively obsessed with.

01:12:59.000 You know, it's really interesting.

01:13:00.000 But Tangled now?

01:13:02.000 But just a year ago, man, Tangled, you know, when we took her to see it, and then she saw it in the movie, and then we got a DVD and brought it home.

01:13:09.000 Oh my goodness.

01:13:10.000 She couldn't watch it enough, man.

01:13:12.000 You know what's the craziest thing?

01:13:13.000 Because every time I watch Adventure Time, I have to watch the kids' commercials.

01:13:17.000 The kids' commercials for toys are the most tripped out, insane.

01:13:20.000 If you're a coke addict, never watch kids' cartoons during the day and look at the commercials.

01:13:25.000 There was one about these.

01:13:26.000 The toy was little crabs that had makeup on and really nice hairstyles.

01:13:32.000 The commercial made no sense.

01:13:34.000 Why would they be marketing to kids dressing up crabs?

01:13:38.000 It was intense.

01:13:40.000 That sounds ridiculous.

01:13:42.000 I tweeted something earlier today.

01:13:44.000 I retweeted something that someone sent me where they were talking about kids today and all the different people.

01:13:52.000 I'm going to click on it just so everybody knows what it is.

01:13:55.000 R.S.A. Animate.

01:13:58.000 Changing Education Paradigms.

01:14:00.000 And paradigm is spelled P-A-R-A-D-I-G-M-S if you're a tard like myself.

01:14:06.000 Hey, that's rude.

01:14:08.000 That was rude.

01:14:09.000 I apologize.

01:14:10.000 But this is a very interesting little thing that someone made that points out how kids today are inundated with so much fucking massive, massive amounts of information.

01:14:22.000 And that, you know, they take these kids and force them into watching something really boring all day, like school, like staring at a blackboard.

01:14:29.000 And then, you know, you wonder why they're incredibly, you know, detached from what's happening.

01:14:37.000 Their world is the world of explosions and fucking video games and intense music on their iPhone.

01:14:43.000 It's, you know, it's loud and emotional.

01:14:45.000 And you make them shut that off when you come into this room to tell them boring shit.

01:14:48.000 You know, I mean, it's almost like what he was talking about earlier about programming.

01:14:53.000 I don't think it's like a conscious effort to do that.

01:14:56.000 I think it's just they're lazy and it's just the shit design.

01:14:59.000 But man, to take kids and take them from the world that they can experience now with the internet and video games and movies and songs and cars and technology and then make them sit in the fucking class and listen to stupid shit all day.

01:15:13.000 It's amazing.

01:15:13.000 You know what they need to do?

01:15:14.000 They totally need to do this.

01:15:15.000 Electronic Arts and THQ and all these big video game companies need to start selling video games that have to do with shit they want to teach the people.

01:15:23.000 If you ask me any question on Fallout 3 or whatever, like about bottle caps or whatever, I know exactly what you're talking about.

01:15:30.000 I have this thing memorized in my head.

01:15:32.000 I will never forget it.

01:15:33.000 Can you imagine if you could teach kids through a video game that would actually let them...

01:15:38.000 Go back on an adventure through time and learn about history and be a part of it.

01:15:43.000 Yeah, you're George Washington.

01:15:45.000 You'll know everything about George Washington by the end of that video game.

01:15:48.000 And the kids will remember that every single kid likes to play video games.

01:15:51.000 Yeah, but you'd go back there and just start punking people and go Grand Theft Auto style and start fucking shooting people off their horses.

01:15:57.000 Yeah, but if you make it so if you do any of that stuff, you get taken away at recess or you get detentions.

01:16:02.000 If you fucking shoot somebody in the kneecap, you get detention, you know?

01:16:07.000 I guess.

01:16:07.000 That could start at the beginning of the end, though.

01:16:10.000 I don't know.

01:16:11.000 It would be hard to make history interesting.

01:16:13.000 You know, you'd have to have some really entertaining person, like, who's, like, a history major, or, you know, a history professor, rather, who's just really good at figuring out the best way to construct the stories, you know, and getting you into it.

01:16:25.000 And then showing you cool shit, too.

01:16:27.000 That's another one.

01:16:28.000 Like, showing you documentaries and cool pictures and stuff.

01:16:31.000 Like, But, you know, when you get to certain things like mathematics and stuff like that, how are you going to make a video game where kids learn math and then it's fun?

01:16:38.000 It's fun for someone who wants to play, like, Fallout.

01:16:41.000 I'm sure they'll do something like...

01:16:42.000 Call of Duty.

01:16:42.000 You know, you want to play Call of Duty and they're like, let's play Numbers!

01:16:45.000 Right.

01:16:46.000 You know, I wonder.

01:16:46.000 I don't think you can teach that that way.

01:16:49.000 Unless it was something like a SimCity or some kind of, like, you know, you're married to the Octomom and it's like a math video game thing.

01:16:56.000 I guess so.

01:16:57.000 Well, some people love math.

01:16:58.000 I'm just talking shit, because some people actually sit down and do mathematics for fun.

01:17:02.000 I hate math so much.

01:17:03.000 We had Tara Patrick in the studio the other day, and her biggest turn-on is a guy that knows math really well.

01:17:09.000 What a good kid.

01:17:10.000 You know why?

01:17:11.000 Because she wants him to know exactly how many dicks she sucked.

01:17:14.000 She wants him to really be able to wrap that around his head.

01:17:17.000 Not to be vague.

01:17:18.000 Oh, honey, I know you're talking a couple of things.

01:17:20.000 Listen, I'm tired of your bullshit.

01:17:21.000 Listen to me.

01:17:22.000 Do you know what a million is?

01:17:23.000 Can you wrap your head around a million?

01:17:25.000 She was Prager's, man.

01:17:26.000 She's starting to look nice.

01:17:27.000 She's got that little Prager juice on her.

01:17:30.000 You like that?

01:17:30.000 Well, she's got a little, you know, she's got a little chunk to her.

01:17:33.000 Do you beat off the pregnant chicks, you sick fuck?

01:17:35.000 I do because it's different.

01:17:37.000 You know, I don't look for it, but I'll be like, that girl's pregnant and hot.

01:17:41.000 Double bonus.

01:17:42.000 Wow, really?

01:17:42.000 That's amazing.

01:17:43.000 So when you were around her and she was hot, it was, like, exciting?

01:17:46.000 She just, you know, there's a few girls, like, she's just hot to be around.

01:17:51.000 You know, there's a few girls that, you know, smell like skull, and you're like, ugh, skull.

01:17:55.000 You know, but she's gorgeous, and she just, you know, she retired, so she hasn't shot in like four or five years or something like that.

01:18:01.000 So she's a born-again virgin, basically.

01:18:03.000 But she just released a new photo shoot on some foreign magazine, and she brought it, and it was nice.

01:18:09.000 She has a nice body.

01:18:10.000 She's pretty hot.

01:18:11.000 And a nice husband.

01:18:12.000 Or boyfriend.

01:18:13.000 Or father of the baby that's coming.

01:18:14.000 What's he do?

01:18:16.000 He's a makeup artist.

01:18:17.000 But he just did the new Superman movie and stuff like that.

01:18:20.000 He was really cool.

01:18:22.000 He's a really nice guy.

01:18:23.000 It's just a funny thing where some dudes just can't accept that.

01:18:25.000 Some dudes are never going to be able to accept the fact that their chick was a porn star.

01:18:29.000 And some guys are just like, whatever.

01:18:31.000 Whatever.

01:18:32.000 I'm getting mine.

01:18:35.000 I don't know.

01:18:35.000 It's interesting how weird we are with sex.

01:18:37.000 It's a strange culture where everything is sold with sex, but yet if you, you know, if you really get down to the nitty gritty, we're really fucking weird about it.

01:18:46.000 We're really insecure about it and insincere about it.

01:18:50.000 It's strange, right?

01:18:52.000 We have a fucked up culture, man.

01:18:54.000 It is a weird culture.

01:18:56.000 You actually try to suppress nature.

01:18:59.000 It's a strange, strange fucking way we live, man.

01:19:03.000 But selling things with pussy, you know when that makes sense?

01:19:05.000 When you get married.

01:19:07.000 When you get married, it makes sense.

01:19:09.000 Because when you're single, and you could, you know, you know, like, well, this relationship doesn't work, and we break up, I'll find someone else, and that'll be interesting, because it'll be a new person.

01:19:18.000 But when you're married, and you commit to this idea that you're just going to be with this person for the rest of your life, then you start, like, seeing some chick selling watches.

01:19:25.000 You know, look at that dirty bitch.

01:19:27.000 That dirty bitch with her fucking long legs.

01:19:30.000 Like, it really, like, attracts you.

01:19:31.000 Like, maybe this Omega watch is gonna get me some of that.

01:19:34.000 Right.

01:19:34.000 You know?

01:19:35.000 It really does work, you know?

01:19:36.000 It's funny.

01:19:37.000 It's like, I guarantee you, if you had commercials for a cell phone service in Ethiopia, and you showed delicious food in the background, you know, like, here's a cell phone, and it's fucking roast beef there, mashed potatoes, and giant pitchers of orange juice, and all this yummy food, and these poor fucks would probably look at and giant pitchers of orange juice, and all this yummy food, and these poor fucks would probably look at that, Doesn't that make sense?

01:19:59.000 Yeah.

01:19:59.000 This podcast is over, isn't it?

01:20:01.000 Pretty much.

01:20:03.000 Yeah, sure.

01:20:04.000 We've done, I think, over three hours.

01:20:07.000 Yeah, well, we had to come back because I had to give my apology to Todd Bridges.

01:20:12.000 I really do feel stupid about that.

01:20:16.000 And we really wanted to talk about Fear Factor because it was pretty fucking crazy.

01:20:19.000 It was awesome.

01:20:20.000 I can't wait for this.

01:20:20.000 It was very weird.

01:20:21.000 Every Monday, right?

01:20:22.000 Yeah, every Monday for a while.

01:20:23.000 We only did eight of them.

01:20:24.000 So it'll air quick, but the ratings were giant.

01:20:27.000 They're a monster.

01:20:28.000 Everybody's super, super happy.

01:20:29.000 Next thing you know, you're going to be picked up for another season and you're going to be like, oh dude, we start filming again in two weeks.

01:20:35.000 It could be.

01:20:37.000 And it's going to save you from the Japanese radiation.

01:20:39.000 I'm going to have to shave my head.

01:20:40.000 I can't keep looking at my balding head on TV. It's just too sad.

01:20:44.000 I'm going to have to do something about this.

01:20:46.000 Well...

01:20:47.000 Wear wigs.

01:20:48.000 That'd be funny.

01:20:48.000 Maybe wear a different wig every week.

01:20:49.000 Maybe a red wig.

01:20:51.000 A red wig like Bozo the Clown.

01:20:55.000 That's what I'm going to get.

01:20:56.000 I'm going to get a red wig, but only on the sides.

01:20:58.000 Only around the ears.

01:20:59.000 Like earmuffs.

01:21:01.000 This weekend, we have...

01:21:02.000 Oh, if you want to come to that Chicago show, it's almost sold out, folks.

01:21:06.000 January 27th, 2012. Joe Diaz and Duncan Trussell at the Chicago Theater.

01:21:14.000 It's going to be off the fucking chain.

01:21:16.000 And that is the same weekend that Fox 2 is scheduled.

01:21:20.000 So that card is a great card.

01:21:23.000 There's Rashad Evans versus Phil Davis.

01:21:26.000 There's a bunch of great fights on the undercard of that as well.

01:21:29.000 Michael Bisping versus Damian Maia.

01:21:31.000 That's a great fucking fight.

01:21:32.000 So it should be sick.

01:21:33.000 It's a great card for Chicago, and it's going to be awesome to be on Fox again.

01:21:38.000 And then the night before that, we have a show at the Chicago Theater.

01:21:42.000 And it's the same place where the weigh-ins are, which is pretty badass.

01:21:44.000 That's cool.

01:21:45.000 Yeah, so we're going to basically do the weigh-ins, get something to eat, and then rock the house.

01:21:49.000 But Duncan and Joey together.

01:21:52.000 This is a rare one.

01:21:53.000 This is going to be fucking fun.

01:21:55.000 Thank you to The Fleshlight.

01:21:57.000 And please go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for The Fleshlight, and enter in the code name ROGAN. They have been our sponsor for a long time now.

01:22:03.000 It's been like shit, like a year and a half or something like that.

01:22:06.000 Yeah, they're the best.

01:22:06.000 It's a cool company with very cool people.

01:22:09.000 That's how we met Aubrey.

01:22:11.000 Go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link, and you get 15% off.

01:22:14.000 And like I said, you're buying something from some good people.

01:22:17.000 Or don't buy it, man.

01:22:18.000 I don't care.

01:22:18.000 Beat off on your own.

01:22:19.000 That's all good too.

01:22:20.000 They're great Christmas ornaments.

01:22:22.000 Just chop off the very tip of it.

01:22:24.000 I can't believe you butchered it like that.

01:22:26.000 It's Mrs. Claus.

01:22:27.000 I called it Frozen Mrs. Claus.

01:22:30.000 From outer space.

01:22:31.000 Thank you also to Onnit.com, makers of New Mood.

01:22:35.000 These two I use on a regular basis, New Mood and AlphaBrain, and whenever I work out, I use ShroomTech.

01:22:41.000 New Mood is a 5-HTP supplement, and it also has L-tryptophan, which converts to it, so it's nice.

01:22:49.000 It's got a little time-release effect, and it really is like a nice mood stabilizer.

01:22:54.000 I don't want to say stabilizer.

01:22:55.000 It's an enhancer.

01:22:56.000 It makes you feel good.

01:22:57.000 Neil Brennan is the one who turned us on to it.

01:23:00.000 I appreciate it.

01:23:01.000 I like it.

01:23:01.000 Alpha Brain as well, which is a cognitive enhancing supplement that I love.

01:23:05.000 I swear by it.

01:23:06.000 Some people don't like it.

01:23:07.000 Some people love it.

01:23:07.000 It's all on you.

01:23:08.000 If you don't want it, don't buy it.

01:23:11.000 If you do buy it and you don't like it, 100% money back guarantee, which is nice.

01:23:15.000 So even if you, you know, you don't have to send it back in, you eat it, you say this shit sucks, you get your money back.

01:23:21.000 If you're interested in it but you think it's too expensive, please go to the website, find the ingredient list, and then buy this stuff in bulk and make your own shit.

01:23:28.000 And I more than welcome it.

01:23:30.000 I'm not trying to get rich off this, but these are good products that I personally believe in and use.

01:23:35.000 and it's onnit.com O-N-N-I-T and if you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for AlphaBrain and enter in the code named Rogan you will get 10% off and you will get smarter what?

01:23:47.000 Fleshlight really dropped the ball on that they should definitely have Mrs. Claus Fleshlight what the fuck have it be like creepy that'd be the best Christmas toy ever to give as a joke yeah with like white frosting around it yeah just like really wrinkled looking like just super old pussy looking maybe it's not too late they have the fucking factory dude First of all, feel free to use Brian's idea.

01:24:05.000 Brian, you don't want any money for that, do you?

01:24:06.000 No, no, just sponsor the Death Squad podcast.

01:24:08.000 Yeah, what's that?

01:24:08.000 Sponsor the Death Squad podcast.

01:24:10.000 Oh, by the way, if you want to listen to the Ice House Chronicles, we've been doing podcasts...

01:24:14.000 Broadcasts?

01:24:16.000 That's like a podcast for cows.

01:24:17.000 We've been doing podcasts for the last four or five weeks.

01:24:21.000 Yeah.

01:24:22.000 And we do them live from the Ice House, and they're called the Ice House Chronicles.

01:24:26.000 And it's, in my opinion, one of the coolest podcasts we do.

01:24:29.000 Because...

01:24:29.000 You know, it might not be as structured as today's was, which is today's, you know, this is a different kind of podcast.

01:24:34.000 Today's with Bruce Lipton was brilliant.

01:24:36.000 It was amazing.

01:24:37.000 It was eye-opening.

01:24:38.000 It was like really, really made you think about things, and I really enjoyed it.

01:24:41.000 But with the Ice House Chronicles, it's really a hang.

01:24:45.000 It's all of us, all of us comics.

01:24:47.000 Green room.

01:24:47.000 It's a green room.

01:24:48.000 It's the real green room.

01:24:49.000 For real.

01:24:50.000 Legit.

01:24:50.000 It's uncensored.

01:24:51.000 It's everybody sitting around.

01:24:52.000 And sometimes it needs to be censored.

01:24:53.000 I heard about some Brendan Walsh.

01:24:55.000 Oh yeah, I need to know what I need to do about that.

01:24:58.000 You need to delete that and get that offline.

01:25:02.000 But it's a really fun podcast and the only way to get it is if you go to iTunes and subscribe to the Death Squad.

01:25:10.000 Death Squad is the podcast network that Brian produces and it contains not just the Ice House Chronicles but Sam Tripoli's Naughty Show, Thomas Segura and Christina Segura, even though she uses some other fucking name.

01:25:23.000 That's called Your Mom's House and they have a great John Heffron.

01:25:26.000 We just had Lip Nicky, the guy from...

01:25:28.000 What's that movie?

01:25:29.000 Show Me the Money.

01:25:30.000 Jerry Maguire.

01:25:31.000 Jerry Maguire.

01:25:32.000 And he's been training jiu-jitsu and martial arts since he was six years old.

01:25:35.000 Yeah, apparently he choked the fuck out of John Heffron.

01:25:37.000 Yeah.

01:25:37.000 We had him on the show, man.

01:25:39.000 He was so awesome.

01:25:39.000 Very interesting guy.

01:25:40.000 That's great, man.

01:25:41.000 That's great.

01:25:42.000 It's good to hear.

01:25:42.000 He's a child star that actually survived.

01:25:44.000 Yeah, good parenting.

01:25:45.000 That's why.

01:25:46.000 Is that what it is?

01:25:46.000 Yeah.

01:25:47.000 Also, he stopped being famous for a while and kind of leveled out.

01:25:50.000 He's normal now.

01:25:51.000 Good for him.

01:25:52.000 Thank you to everybody for tuning in.

01:25:54.000 Thank you to everybody who watched Fear Factor.

01:25:56.000 I'm glad you enjoyed it.

01:25:57.000 And thank you if you don't.

01:25:59.000 I don't give a fuck, folks.

01:26:01.000 We're just here to have a good time.

01:26:02.000 Just enjoy yourself.

01:26:03.000 And please, if you get a chance, if you're only listening to this podcast, listen to the David Lipton one that we just did because it's really a fucking interesting take.

01:26:11.000 On how your thoughts control your reality.

01:26:15.000 Alright bitches?

01:26:16.000 We love you.

01:26:17.000 We'll see you if you're a Hollywood person.

01:26:20.000 New Year's.

01:26:20.000 Melrose Improv.

01:26:22.000 Brian Reichel's going to be there too.

01:26:23.000 Brian, you need to create some kind of a video for this shit.

01:26:25.000 Yes.

01:26:26.000 Show at Hollywood Improv.

01:26:28.000 New Year's.

01:26:28.000 I think it's Joe Diaz, me, and I don't know who the fuck else.

01:26:31.000 But it'll be crazy.

01:26:33.000 Whoever it is, it's going to be good.

01:26:35.000 So we'll see you freaks soon.

01:26:38.000 Later.

01:26:38.000 Sometime this week.

01:26:39.000 Who am I doing this week?

01:26:40.000 I got someone.

01:26:40.000 Oh, Duncan.

01:26:41.000 Is Duncan doing it?

01:26:42.000 Yeah, Duncan's doing it.

01:26:42.000 Cool.

01:26:43.000 Duncan, tomorrow.

01:26:43.000 All right.

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 13, 2011

Joe Rogan Experience #165 - Bruce Lipton PHD (Part Two)

Summary

Transcript