The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #166 - Duncan Trussell

00:00:00.000 The Joe Rogan experience. 1.00

00:00:06.000 Oh, this shit ain't working. 0.99

00:00:07.000 I don't have my headphones on. 1.00

00:00:10.000 Blasted headphones. 1.00

00:00:11.000 You ever look for your sunglasses and you realize they're on your fucking face? 1.00

00:00:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:15.000 Where's my sunglasses? 1.00

00:00:16.000 And they're right there on your fucking head. 1.00

00:00:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:18.000 That's when you know you should quit weed, right? 1.00

00:00:21.000 Is that the moment?

00:00:22.000 No.

00:00:23.000 You need to take some time off. 1.00

00:00:24.000 Shit, I've been doing that since I was a kid, man. 0.99

00:00:27.000 Hey, man! 0.99

00:00:28.000 Hey, guys!

00:00:30.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by several things.

00:00:35.000 Several things that we believe in.

00:00:37.000 Number one is the fleshlight.

00:00:39.000 I believe it.

00:00:40.000 You know why?

00:00:41.000 Because I've used it. 1.00

00:00:42.000 I believe it because you're gonna masturbate. 1.00

00:00:45.000 Stop fucking playing games. 1.00

00:00:48.000 Listen. 1.00

00:00:48.000 You know you're going to masturbate. 1.00

00:00:50.000 You know you're going to masturbate. 1.00

00:00:52.000 Just get that over with. 0.99

00:00:53.000 You don't want to be counting on one person to take care of your biological needs, okay?

00:00:58.000 Because then you become a slave to that one person.

00:01:00.000 That's very dangerous.

00:01:02.000 You have to be able to take care of it yourself. 0.99

00:01:04.000 Life would be chaos if we couldn't reach our dicks. 0.99

00:01:06.000 If our dicks were in some weird spot on our back and we had to get a chick to touch it, there was no way you could do it yourself, you'd be doomed, man. 1.00

00:01:13.000 The balance of power would shift terribly against you. 1.00

00:01:17.000 It's the perfect cocky stuffer.

00:01:19.000 In that sense, the fleshlight is an empowerment tool.

00:01:23.000 It allows you to extract biological matter and remove some confusion in your consciousness and some... 0.99

00:01:32.000 Distractions in your everyday life because all you're thinking about is I gotta park some of this fucking sperm somewhere. 1.00

00:01:39.000 You know? 1.00

00:01:39.000 It's building up inside your balls like a bunch of wild steroid-eaten troops ready to fucking fly out and go to war! 1.00

00:01:47.000 That's what they're like, man. 1.00

00:01:48.000 That's what your loads are like. 0.99

00:01:49.000 They're like little savages.

00:01:51.000 My loads are more like Tibetan refugees climbing over the Himalayas, blistered from the sun. 1.00

00:01:56.000 Committing suicide, jumping off trees, face first into the rocks.

00:01:59.000 Yeah!

00:02:03.000 I had a thick load today, like really thick, like uncomfortably thick.

00:02:07.000 That's not good.

00:02:08.000 Yeah, what's that mean?

00:02:08.000 Is that like a Gatorade?

00:02:09.000 You got a clogged little thing down there.

00:02:12.000 You got to stick a Q-tip in there and clean it out.

00:02:14.000 Jesus.

00:02:17.000 It was like a goober.

00:02:18.000 Like a thick goober. 0.83

00:02:20.000 Anyway, click on the link at JoeRogan.net and enter in the code name ROGAN and you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men. 0.99

00:02:28.000 And then you can shoot your loads in it. 0.99

00:02:30.000 That's right.

00:02:31.000 At a discount.

00:02:32.000 I've said this before.

00:02:33.000 Yeah.

00:02:33.000 And they need a Mrs. Claus one.

00:02:35.000 Bad. 1.00

00:02:35.000 Yeah, they should have totally come up with one with snow on it and shit. 1.00

00:02:38.000 Yeah, a little white hair, like you said. 0.99

00:02:40.000 Old white hair.

00:02:41.000 Or like Mary, like Jesus' mother.

00:02:43.000 Ooh.

00:02:44.000 Why not?

00:02:45.000 It's the reason for the season.

00:02:46.000 You're rude, dude.

00:02:47.000 It's the reason for the season. 0.82

00:02:47.000 I think she was a virgin. 0.82

00:02:48.000 And that's my mom's name.

00:02:49.000 That's not right. 1.00

00:02:50.000 You couldn't be the one person to fuck Mary? 1.00

00:02:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:52.000 Can you imagine if they could go back in time? 1.00

00:02:55.000 Eventually, they'll get to that point.

00:02:56.000 If you find someone's...

00:02:58.000 Right now, they found Tutankhamen's body, and then they put...

00:03:02.000 We should talk about this when we're not doing a commercial.

00:03:05.000 Oh, I didn't know you were still in the commercial.

00:03:06.000 That's why the commercials are so good, dude.

00:03:08.000 They're totally organic.

00:03:09.000 Let's just get them out of the way. 0.99

00:03:11.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com, makers of Alpha Brain and New Mood, which I take both of them on a regular basis, and they're fucking awesome.

00:03:19.000 I support this not just because I'm making money from it, because if I wasn't making money from it, I would still tell you to look into nootropics.

00:03:27.000 It's a fascinating field of science, really, and it's all about...

00:03:32.000 Chemicals and vitamins that enhance cognitive function.

00:03:37.000 I think they work differently on different people.

00:03:39.000 But for me, I get a nice, good, clear feeling out of taking these things.

00:03:44.000 And I don't believe it's a placebo.

00:03:47.000 There's evidence that it helps Alzheimer's patients when you give them certain nootropics that actually can slow the onset of Alzheimer's.

00:03:56.000 Most importantly though, if you don't like this stuff, you get a 100% money back guarantee. 0.90

00:04:01.000 Just say it sucked.

00:04:02.000 You don't have to return it. 0.99

00:04:03.000 Just say it sucked and you get your money back. 0.94

00:04:05.000 It's really that simple. 1.00

00:04:06.000 And if you like it but you think it's too expensive, what I say to you is please go buy this shit in bulk. 1.00

00:04:13.000 Go and save yourself some money. 0.99

00:04:15.000 Steal the ingredient list off the website and just duplicate it.

00:04:18.000 I hope you do that and I hope you enjoy it.

00:04:21.000 And I hope you look into just the subject of nootropics.

00:04:25.000 I'm neither educated enough nor do I have enough time to go into depth enough and have it actually be interesting in a podcast.

00:04:32.000 I would maybe like to have some scientist on explain brain chemistry to you. 0.98

00:04:38.000 But I couldn't do it, obviously.

00:04:39.000 So the best I can say is go Google it and look up nootropics.

00:04:43.000 And there's a bunch of different kinds and there's a bunch of different formulations that other people offer as well.

00:04:48.000 And a lot of them are really good.

00:04:50.000 I've tried PowerDrive.

00:04:51.000 I think that stuff's really good.

00:04:52.000 There's a bunch of different companies out there that sell similar stuff.

00:04:55.000 I'm not saying buy my stuff.

00:04:57.000 But if you want to buy my stuff, you can buy it and go to Onnit.com.

00:05:00.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for AlphaBrain.

00:05:03.000 Enter in the code name Rogan and you get 10% off that.

00:05:05.000 Okay?

00:05:06.000 Or not.

00:05:06.000 Whatever, bro.

00:05:07.000 Okay?

00:05:08.000 Jesus.

00:05:09.000 Merry Christmas.

00:05:10.000 Taste me. 1.00

00:05:11.000 Hit that shit, bitch. 1.00

00:05:12.000 Duncan Trussell is in the house, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00

00:05:14.000 Hello.

00:05:14.000 The Joe Rogan experience.

00:05:16.000 Train by day.

00:05:17.000 Joe Rogan podcast by night.

00:05:19.000 All day.

00:05:24.000 I think that was one of the best commercials we ever did, Duncan.

00:05:28.000 It flowed seamlessly.

00:05:31.000 That's how it has to be, man.

00:05:32.000 I can't...

00:05:32.000 You just always say the exact same thing.

00:05:35.000 It fucks. 0.99

00:05:36.000 It's too uncomfortable. 1.00

00:05:38.000 I feel like a big phony.

00:05:39.000 I was talking to Stan Hope about that once, man.

00:05:41.000 He said the worst thing is when he goes to the UK. He went to the UK and he saw the same people were in the same seat both nights.

00:05:48.000 They were really loud and they sat in the same seat.

00:05:50.000 And then the second night, they sat in the same seat.

00:05:52.000 But he's going to do most of the same material. 0.99

00:05:54.000 You only have so much fucking material. 0.99

00:05:57.000 And... 1.00

00:05:58.000 The art of stand-up comedy is to relay each piece of material as if it's really happening in your head right now. 1.00

00:06:06.000 But when someone just saw you the night before and said the exact same shit and he's like, oh, it makes you feel like such a fucking phony. 1.00

00:06:13.000 I hate it. 1.00

00:06:14.000 When someone knows your shit... 1.00

00:06:16.000 It's flattering. 1.00

00:06:17.000 It's flattering.

00:06:18.000 They're just trying to flatter you.

00:06:19.000 They're trying to make you feel like we're super fans.

00:06:21.000 We're coming to see you two nights in a row.

00:06:23.000 Well, I do like...

00:06:24.000 If they are super fans, though, I would...

00:06:26.000 If Bill Hicks was in town in Boston, I saw him two nights in a row.

00:06:29.000 I saw the same set twice in a row.

00:06:31.000 I wanted to.

00:06:32.000 I like watching that because you get to see the nuances and the way they do it differently.

00:06:36.000 It's cool.

00:06:36.000 Right.

00:06:36.000 But for a lot of people, they don't want to see that.

00:06:40.000 But you're an open mic comic, an amateur, a total comedy nerd.

00:06:45.000 The opportunity to see a craftsman.

00:06:47.000 I saw Richard Jennings a couple nights in a row, too.

00:06:50.000 I saw a couple different guys a few nights in a row.

00:06:52.000 I went to see them.

00:06:53.000 I saw Dom Irera a couple nights in a row.

00:06:55.000 I wanted to see their act over and over again.

00:06:58.000 I wanted to see how they did it.

00:06:59.000 And it's interesting, man, when you see people's different reactions in different crowds.

00:07:03.000 You're like, whoa, why didn't that one work, man?

00:07:05.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

00:07:06.000 This is weird.

00:07:08.000 I told you one of my favorite moments in comedy is watching Bill Hicks bomb.

00:07:12.000 He bombed with the confidence and flair of a man who was crushing.

00:07:18.000 It never bothered him.

00:07:20.000 There's a lot of people who say it never bothered them, but you can see this fear or detachment in their eyes, this panicked look.

00:07:28.000 He never got it.

00:07:29.000 He never got the panicked look.

00:07:31.000 He would bomb, and as he was bombing, he would talk through the bombing.

00:07:35.000 He was doing this bit where he went on after this other guy.

00:07:39.000 The other guy that went up is a very nice guy, but he's really hacky.

00:07:42.000 And he had a bunch of cartoons, smoking pot jokes where he'd do a Daffy Duck smoking pot.

00:07:49.000 And then another guy.

00:07:52.000 It was one of those guys.

00:07:53.000 But he was a nice guy.

00:07:55.000 My point is, he was killing. 0.74

00:07:57.000 This audience was monkeys. 0.78

00:07:59.000 They were apes. 1.00

00:08:00.000 It was one of those dumb audiences. 1.00

00:08:02.000 And every now and then you get them. 0.99

00:08:03.000 In Boston, you have some really educated people.

00:08:05.000 And then you have a lot of troll people, too.

00:08:08.000 Sure. 1.00

00:08:08.000 Hey, you fucking queer! 1.00

00:08:11.000 You know, you got a lot of those. 1.00

00:08:12.000 Well, they did not like Hicks at all.

00:08:14.000 He came on super confident and real slow and deliberate with the way he was putting his set out there.

00:08:24.000 Like he owned the room and just would start doing his material.

00:08:30.000 And they didn't like it, man.

00:08:32.000 And they were leaving in droves. 1.00

00:08:34.000 And he had this bit where Satan fucks John Davidson in the ass. 0.99

00:08:38.000 And he would rotate people. 1.00

00:08:40.000 It would be John Davidson.

00:08:41.000 It would be Oprah. 0.87

00:08:43.000 And then he shits out Geraldo Rivera. 1.00

00:08:46.000 And he's on the toilet shitting. 1.00

00:08:50.000 And he's making this shit noise for, man, like two minutes. 1.00

00:08:54.000 Which is a long time to just sit there. 0.99

00:08:58.000 And he's making this and he looks up and people are just leaving in giant groups. 1.00

00:09:03.000 This fucking guy's fucking terrible. 1.00

00:09:04.000 Fucking terrible. 1.00

00:09:05.000 Not funny at all after that last guy. 0.99

00:09:07.000 And they're leaving.

00:09:08.000 And Hicks looks up and I swear to God he wasn't even fazed.

00:09:12.000 Yep, this generally clears the room.

00:09:16.000 And just, to me and my friends, I think Fitzsimmons might have been there for that one. 0.92

00:09:22.000 To me and my friends and 50 people, it was fucking hilarious. 0.67

00:09:27.000 The bits were hilarious. 0.95

00:09:28.000 It was so interesting.

00:09:31.000 It wasn't, I'll be honest, it was not the funniest material that I'd ever seen in my life.

00:09:36.000 It wasn't the funniest delivery, but it was certainly the most thoughtful, without a doubt.

00:09:40.000 It was a totally different kind of laughter I was experiencing. 0.99

00:09:43.000 I was experiencing a laughter and like, oh fuck, he just nailed it too. 0.99

00:09:48.000 It wasn't just laughter, it was like, wow, that's an awesome point to just shove into a joke. 0.99

00:09:54.000 You know what I mean?

00:09:56.000 Yeah.

00:09:56.000 So it wasn't like he was the funniest guy.

00:09:58.000 If you compared him to the guys that I knew growing up, like Steve Sweeney, Steve Sweeney used to fucking crush.

00:10:05.000 I mean crush to the point where you would be terrified to go on after him. 0.99

00:10:09.000 To follow a guy like Steve Sweeney in Boston when he's on full tilt, when he goes up there just rabid and full of energy, you're fucking doomed, man. 0.94

00:10:19.000 He's just too good. 0.87

00:10:20.000 Hex wasn't like that.

00:10:22.000 It was a totally different kind of funny.

00:10:24.000 It was its own little thing, man, and it influenced a lot of people to sort of branch off into a more thoughtful direction.

00:10:33.000 Yeah, it's really cool when you see somebody who's got the balls to just say exactly what they're thinking on stage with zero pandering.

00:10:41.000 That can't be that kind of crushing comedy.

00:10:46.000 It's a different thing altogether.

00:10:48.000 It's still super funny.

00:10:49.000 But you know what my thing is, dude?

00:10:51.000 I like to sandwich it. 0.98

00:10:53.000 I like to shove it in between shit that just has no point at all, just ridiculous, and just the stuff that I think is funny. 0.99

00:11:00.000 And it's usually gay jokes. 0.99

00:11:04.000 It's usually for whatever reason. 1.00

00:11:05.000 It's usually someone inadvertently sucking a dick, or someone is sucking a dick for a reward. 1.00

00:11:11.000 My sense of humor is so fucking juvenile, man. 1.00

00:11:14.000 I'm so childish. 0.99

00:11:15.000 And I actually thought, like, man, maybe I got a problem.

00:11:18.000 Like, why am I such a child with, like, stuff that I think is silly and funny?

00:11:22.000 You know, like, maybe there's something wrong with that.

00:11:24.000 And then I went to see Jim Norton. 0.99

00:11:26.000 And Jim Norton was in Austin, and he had more dick jokes than me. 0.97

00:11:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:30.000 And I said to him afterwards, I go, dude, I was starting to think maybe I have too many jokes about dicks in my ass. 1.00

00:11:35.000 Right. 1.00

00:11:36.000 Until I went to see you, I saw an hour's worth of dick jokes and I fucking thoroughly enjoyed it. 0.99

00:11:40.000 I'm like, thank you. 0.99

00:11:41.000 That made me feel good because as a person who was an audience member, I saw it from an audience member's perspective. 0.93

00:11:46.000 Like, oh, it's just a big, crazy, silly ride and you go along. 0.99

00:11:50.000 It's not like you can't have so many jokes about dicks. 0.99

00:11:53.000 And also, if you think it's funny... 0.99

00:11:55.000 Then you kind of have an obligation to do it as a comic.

00:11:58.000 If you think something's funny, you should talk about it on stage.

00:12:01.000 Because if you think something's funny, you're like, oh, no, no, no, that's not highbrow enough.

00:12:04.000 I'm not going to do that.

00:12:06.000 And that's another form of pandering.

00:12:07.000 That's just, that's not it at all.

00:12:09.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.81

00:12:11.000 If you have a joke about shitting your pants, you're supposed to tell that joke.

00:12:14.000 It's not supposed to be out to, oh, you're doing scatological material.

00:12:18.000 If you think it's funny, that's the thing.

00:12:20.000 If you're just doing it to get a shock out of people or you're doing it out of laziness, that's a whole different story.

00:12:25.000 Well, Ari Shaffir's been doing some bit that's been killing about...

00:12:28.000 He was in Australia and he got diarrhea.

00:12:30.000 It's a totally true story. 0.99

00:12:32.000 And it's fucking killing for him. 0.98

00:12:34.000 For someone to say that you're not supposed to do that, it's funny. 0.99

00:12:37.000 It's really funny.

00:12:38.000 And it happened.

00:12:39.000 It's a real story.

00:12:40.000 For you to say that there's something wrong with that.

00:12:43.000 For you to say that there's any kind of rule.

00:12:44.000 It's like telling an artist, you can't paint with light green. 0.98

00:12:49.000 That said, if you come over to someone's house, you have to really know that person before you talk about shitting yourself. 0.98

00:12:55.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:12:55.000 It's a weird thing. 0.92

00:12:56.000 Unless they're a doctor, I guess.

00:12:58.000 When you're on stage, it's one thing, right?

00:13:00.000 You're supposed to be exposing everything to anybody anyway.

00:13:01.000 Right. 0.99

00:13:02.000 But if you don't know someone, they start talking to you about shit and all of themselves. 1.00

00:13:07.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:13:07.000 Can you come over here? 0.98

00:13:08.000 I need to talk to you about it.

00:13:09.000 I'm cool with it.

00:13:10.000 You know, if you're a good dude, you seem like just an open dude, and you're like, how's the cheeseburgers there? 0.98

00:13:17.000 I say, well, they're pretty good, but listen, the last time I had them, I'm going to be honest with you, I shit all over myself. 0.59

00:13:21.000 I couldn't even make it to the bathroom. 0.97

00:13:22.000 I would start laughing. 1.00

00:13:23.000 I'd go, oh shit, and you think that's what it is? 1.00

00:13:25.000 I would have a normal conversation with you. 1.00

00:13:26.000 I wouldn't be like, excuse me? 1.00

00:13:28.000 Did you just say you shit all over yourself? 1.00

00:13:30.000 I never. 1.00

00:13:31.000 Why? 0.97

00:13:31.000 How dare you, sir, speak to me like such a scoundrel? 0.97

00:13:36.000 Who are you? 1.00

00:13:38.000 How dare you? 0.97

00:13:40.000 Where do you get this confidence to come to me?

00:13:42.000 Isn't that funny when you realize that you're actually offending someone?

00:13:46.000 You realize that this really is, in some way, something I'm saying is having an effect on you that's causing you to shut down. 0.99

00:13:54.000 Listen, folks, I know you've been programmed to think that you're the asshole when you're swearing and someone reacts like that, but no. 1.00

00:14:00.000 No, they're the asshole. 1.00

00:14:02.000 That's dumb. 1.00

00:14:03.000 It's 2011. If you're really offended, if someone talks to you about shit in their pants, then you're the dummy. 1.00

00:14:10.000 You're the problem. 1.00

00:14:10.000 It's not the guy who shit his pants. 1.00

00:14:12.000 That guy's telling you a funny story. 0.99

00:14:14.000 You're just some weird, stuck-up person who doesn't want to hear that. 0.74

00:14:17.000 If I don't think something's funny and it's scatological... 0.96

00:14:21.000 I'm not going to get offended.

00:14:23.000 It's just not funny.

00:14:24.000 It's not going to bother me.

00:14:25.000 It's like, whatever. 0.99

00:14:26.000 You're talking about shitting yourself. 0.99

00:14:27.000 Fine. 0.99

00:14:28.000 It doesn't bother me.

00:14:30.000 Some people, they've never heard that stuff before.

00:14:33.000 Comedians, we've been horrifying each other for eons.

00:14:38.000 You've horrified me in so many different ways. 0.60

00:14:43.000 You've horrified me.

00:14:45.000 How have I horrified you?

00:14:48.000 You're really, really good at taking a story that I already kind of know.

00:14:54.000 For example, Grizzly Man, the guy getting eaten by the bear.

00:14:58.000 So you'll get me really high and then start talking about what was Grizzly Man's name?

00:15:04.000 Timothy Treadwell.

00:15:05.000 Timothy Treadwell, and you start describing him getting eaten by a bear in this precise, microscopic way where every moment you're describing the bones crunching and his femur snapping.

00:15:19.000 You're just really good at taking it...

00:15:21.000 To the next level.

00:15:23.000 Yeah, way too late.

00:15:24.000 Because at first you start talking about it. 0.99

00:15:26.000 You know when you're high, you're like, well, fuck, you're seeing it so clear. 0.99

00:15:30.000 I'm like, I know what he's doing. 1.00

00:15:32.000 He's going to take this into the deep water in a second.

00:15:35.000 I'm not going to let it freak me out.

00:15:37.000 And I still remember the Treadwell story.

00:15:40.000 And sure enough, I'm like, Jesus, God, this is horrible!

00:15:43.000 Poor Timothy Treadwell!

00:15:44.000 I could just see his bones turning into jelly and his eyeballs bulging out as he's screaming for the bear to stop attacking him, but it won't.

00:15:54.000 Anyway, you're very good at that.

00:15:56.000 So after you've been hanging out with people who can professionally tell stories in the most detailed way, Then it's really hard to get around anyone who's going to say anything that offends you.

00:16:07.000 And also, the internet, by the way, is also...

00:16:10.000 I've seen everything.

00:16:13.000 My favorite picture on the internet...

00:16:15.000 This is a strong statement, but it's true. 0.99

00:16:17.000 My favorite picture is there's a kid, and he's standing in front of the goatseed butthole, and the guy's spreading his asshole open, and it just says, Welcome to the internet. 0.99

00:16:27.000 The kid is looking at that, and I'm like... 0.99

00:16:31.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:16:32.000 Exactly.

00:16:32.000 You can't get upset by things anymore.

00:16:35.000 Which is why it's kind of retro and quaint when you come upon someone who actually can get offended.

00:16:41.000 When you realize, oh my god, you can still get offended?

00:16:43.000 How have you maintained that?

00:16:45.000 That's amazing.

00:16:46.000 You mean I really have the power to disturb you in a real way?

00:16:51.000 Yeah.

00:16:51.000 You don't realize, though, you're not under the glove all day at work.

00:16:54.000 A lot of people are under the iron glove all day at work.

00:16:57.000 They're just stuck in an office where all their behavior is restricted.

00:17:02.000 Most of them even have to dress funny.

00:17:04.000 They have to wear weird things around their neck to signify that they mean business. 0.95

00:17:08.000 And you're walking around some office where everybody's stifled, and you're all forced together today, all day, to do shit you don't want to do all day long. 0.93

00:17:17.000 That's not good. 0.93

00:17:18.000 So people are buttoned down because of that.

00:17:21.000 Whereas you, you're smoking pot and playing World of Warcraft.

00:17:24.000 That's true.

00:17:24.000 Trying to write some jokes.

00:17:26.000 And then we're going to go on the road and we'll go to Chicago and we'll do the Chicago Theater January 27th with Joey Diaz.

00:17:32.000 Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

00:17:33.000 That's your world. 1.00

00:17:35.000 You don't have a shit job that you get up to every morning. 1.00

00:17:39.000 Right, that's true. 1.00

00:17:40.000 Yeah, so yeah, I understand.

00:17:42.000 People are buttoned down and they've gotten conditioned in some pretty severe ways.

00:17:44.000 It's too hard to just, if you bus free all the time and you're at work all day and you're just like, why can't we fucking talk? 0.94

00:17:51.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:17:52.000 This is crazy. 1.00

00:17:52.000 This job sucks. 1.00

00:17:53.000 This is ridiculous. 1.00

00:17:54.000 We've got to find another way to make money. 1.00

00:17:55.000 Or like those fucking email forwards that those people send, you know? 0.99

00:17:59.000 You get those email forwards and it's like the worst joke of all time. 0.99

00:18:03.000 What did the chickens say to the rabbit? 1.00

00:18:05.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:18:06.000 But someone really sent that thing. 1.00

00:18:08.000 You know?

00:18:08.000 Oh, my mom was brutal.

00:18:09.000 My mom was brutal with those. 0.99

00:18:10.000 I had to stop her.

00:18:12.000 I was really nice about it.

00:18:13.000 I was like, that's not that funny to me.

00:18:16.000 And by the way, I don't want your friend sending me any crazy emails, so let's not link it all together.

00:18:20.000 Yeah, please.

00:18:21.000 Yeah, you don't want to get that.

00:18:21.000 My mom doesn't even know how to blind carbon copy.

00:18:23.000 She has carbon copies.

00:18:24.000 She hasn't sent me one in a long time, though.

00:18:26.000 But the ones she did, I would still just look back at them and go, Jesus Christ.

00:18:30.000 But what about those...

00:18:31.000 Also, when you get on those patriotic mailers...

00:18:34.000 Oh, those are brutal.

00:18:35.000 I've had a bunch of those.

00:18:36.000 The country I once knew.

00:18:38.000 This is a story about a country I once knew.

00:18:40.000 And they just make things up.

00:18:41.000 The thousands of terrorist acts that we prevented.

00:18:44.000 How about those?

00:18:45.000 Could have wiped out humanity 17 times over.

00:18:48.000 But we're out there doing the dirty work.

00:18:51.000 They were stopped.

00:18:52.000 There's a dog living in Georgia.

00:18:55.000 It always tries to apply to some sentimental party.

00:18:57.000 There's a dog living in Georgia.

00:19:00.000 Whose master didn't come home.

00:19:02.000 Oh, those stories are great.

00:19:04.000 Well, you know what?

00:19:04.000 It would be beautiful if that really was the case.

00:19:06.000 Could you imagine if you really had 100% faith in the U.S. military and you knew that there were bad guys and we're the good guys and it's clean, black and white.

00:19:14.000 There's no doubt about it.

00:19:15.000 We only do the right thing always.

00:19:17.000 We avoid war whenever possible and we would never engage in war for profit.

00:19:21.000 But that's what people like to think.

00:19:23.000 They like to think that that's what we are.

00:19:26.000 Well, if every 50 years...

00:19:31.000 Scorpions climbed out of the volcanoes of the earth and they were like poisonous and deadly and they shot lasers out of their eyes and they could like burn you alive and you met someone who's like I've made the decision to go down and fight the scorpions.

00:19:43.000 I'm gonna fight them.

00:19:44.000 I'm gonna give my life to fight these scorpions.

00:19:47.000 You would be like You are a hero.

00:19:51.000 That's a real hero.

00:19:52.000 You're amazing.

00:19:52.000 You're going to go fight the laser-shooting scorpions.

00:19:55.000 It's incredible.

00:19:56.000 Now it's so muddied, it's like, well, you know, they don't even know.

00:19:59.000 A lot of them, they don't even know what they're doing. 0.99

00:20:01.000 doing like well we're going to afghanistan because um well you know we're going down there because uh You know, Obama's not going to veto this fucking... 0.99

00:20:14.000 This new bill. 0.98

00:20:15.000 The one that passed through the House...

00:20:17.000 Passed through the Senate and the Congress.

00:20:20.000 Apparently, they okayed it and Obama's not going to veto it.

00:20:22.000 It turns the United States into a battleground.

00:20:24.000 You mean indefinite detention?

00:20:26.000 Yeah, indefinite detention for United States civilians.

00:20:28.000 Yeah.

00:20:29.000 Doesn't have to...

00:20:29.000 You don't have to...

00:20:30.000 Yeah, you don't have to go to trial.

00:20:32.000 Did you see the thing I tweeted?

00:20:33.000 It was on Reddit with McCain.

00:20:35.000 Rand Paul asked McCain...

00:20:37.000 Point blank.

00:20:38.000 Does this mean that you can arrest a United States citizen and detain them indefinitely?

00:20:44.000 I just tweeted it.

00:20:45.000 McCain is pretty straightforward.

00:20:48.000 If someone is a threat to the security of the United States, We should be able to arrest them and detain them because apparently like a lot of the people that they didn't detain indefinitely and they let out, according to McCain, ended up killing some troops.

00:21:03.000 Yeah, so I like what they're saying. 0.84

00:21:05.000 What they're saying is, listen, this is some fucking dirty warfare and we need some extra power, but we're not going to abuse it. 0.96

00:21:12.000 But the problem is you can't get that extra power because everybody abuses power once they get it. 0.98

00:21:17.000 There was just... 0.98

00:21:18.000 Otherwise, there would already be an accounting for all the fucking money that's missing. 0.98

00:21:22.000 There would already be someone, some repercussions for all the lies that were told that led us to believe there was weapons of mass destruction. 0.99

00:21:31.000 Just straight up lies.

00:21:32.000 Think about what you can get in trouble for.

00:21:36.000 Think about...

00:21:37.000 How crazy insider trading is.

00:21:39.000 You can get arrested if you have information that you know a stock's gonna go bad.

00:21:43.000 Think about that.

00:21:43.000 But then think about the fact that someone somewhere lied about weapons of mass destruction.

00:21:48.000 They made up some sort of a story or they fabricated some evidence and it became the real reason why people supported the idea of going there and yet it didn't exist.

00:21:59.000 So if we know that and that's not chased down, Yeah.

00:22:03.000 You don't chase that down.

00:22:04.000 There's no big news follow-up and documentaries about it, how they chased that down and found out how it happened, locked everybody up and cleaned out all the people that they were in business with.

00:22:14.000 No. 0.96

00:22:14.000 It's just somehow or another, it kind of gets swept under the rug that a war was started on bullshit. 0.96

00:22:21.000 They've allowed... 0.99

00:22:22.000 Somehow or another hypnotized people to the point where people have allowed a war to be created on bullshit. 1.00

00:22:29.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:22:30.000 A country that had absolutely no connection that we could see, like a straight connection to Iraq? 0.99

00:22:36.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

00:22:37.000 It makes no sense. 0.99

00:22:38.000 Oh, we've got to go over there and get him.

00:22:40.000 He's got weapons, mass destruction. 0.99

00:22:41.000 Okay, listen, we were going to go to war with the people that killed us, but we can't figure out who the fuck they are because apparently they're nomadic terrorists that have actually been living in America and training, let it fly. 0.99

00:22:50.000 Okay, okay, okay. 0.99

00:22:51.000 Since we get the...

00:22:52.000 They're all dead.

00:22:53.000 Since we can't get them, let's go get some people that look like them. 0.97

00:22:55.000 Yeah, right.

00:22:56.000 Let's go get some people in another country! 1.00

00:22:59.000 Not even from the same country! 0.99

00:23:01.000 It's like Canada does something fucked up and people go attack Mexico. 1.00

00:23:06.000 It's that fucked up. 1.00

00:23:07.000 It's that silly. 1.00

00:23:09.000 That's what it's like. 0.98

00:23:10.000 It's like if Canada attacked somebody and then they decided to attack Mexico in retaliation.

00:23:15.000 That's what it's like.

00:23:16.000 Dude, I walk my dog and I walk my dog past this house with these two ferocious dogs behind a fence.

00:23:22.000 I've got a little chihuahua.

00:23:23.000 And so the chihuahua loves coming and standing in front of this fence and barking.

00:23:28.000 Because what happens is the two dogs come charging down towards my chihuahua. 0.99

00:23:33.000 And barking at my dog, and one of them is so mad at my chihuahua that it starts biting the other one on its ass. 0.99

00:23:41.000 Oh, wow. 0.98

00:23:41.000 And it's the funniest thing you've ever seen. 0.98

00:23:43.000 It's just taking it out on the closest thing that it can bite.

00:23:47.000 Wow.

00:23:48.000 Also, isn't this known as...

00:23:50.000 Isn't it kind of like what happened in Afghanistan?

00:23:53.000 Isn't that called bull baiting? 0.99

00:23:55.000 Isn't that what it is?

00:23:57.000 Sometimes this is what really creeps me out.

00:23:58.000 I think that the... 0.99

00:24:01.000 The people that we're fighting in Afghanistan and the war that we picked with people, I think they're really good at fucking war. 1.00

00:24:09.000 You know, Afghanistan's called the graveyard of empires, and I think that the people that we're up against aren't just as stupid as a lot of people would like to paint them. 1.00

00:24:17.000 You know, they can't fucking... 1.00

00:24:18.000 They can't even read. 1.00

00:24:20.000 They're just hungry, starving people who can't even read.

00:24:23.000 They don't know what they're doing.

00:24:25.000 I think they kind of do know what they're doing.

00:24:27.000 I think that they...

00:24:27.000 I mean, Bin Laden...

00:24:29.000 Said, all we have to do is make it seem like we're going to attack and look at how much money the United States spends. 1.00

00:24:36.000 They turned on a fucking money faucet. 1.00

00:24:40.000 Look at what they did. 1.00

00:24:43.000 Look at what al-Qaeda did. 0.78

00:24:44.000 We now have a country where our military can arrest us if we're considered a threat to the security of the United States.

00:24:53.000 What can that mean?

00:24:54.000 Could that mean a journalism?

00:24:55.000 It could mean anything.

00:24:56.000 A journalist?

00:24:57.000 Could that mean a WikiLeaks guy?

00:24:58.000 Could Malcolm X have gotten arrested and detained indefinitely?

00:25:03.000 Well, Julian Assange, don't you think that he would get arrested under that law?

00:25:05.000 Oh, for sure.

00:25:06.000 If he was in America?

00:25:07.000 Other than being assassinated, though...

00:25:10.000 Well, he hasn't been assassinated yet, but if they could arrest him under...

00:25:27.000 Norway?

00:25:28.000 Is it Norway that he was charged with sexual misconduct?

00:25:33.000 Whatever he did.

00:25:33.000 It's just some weird moment where he's in bed with a girl, apparently, she's saying.

00:25:37.000 He stuck his dick in her without a condom. 1.00

00:25:39.000 Yeah, well, it seems like we're... 1.00

00:25:41.000 Sometimes it feels like we're on the precipice where they're going to stop even putting up this act that they're...

00:25:47.000 Debating and deciding and using courtrooms.

00:25:49.000 See, that's the problem with indefinite detention, because it's like, let's imagine that I think, I don't know, let's imagine I think that Alex Jones is a threat to the security of the United States because of the things that he's been saying are weakening the government, right?

00:26:04.000 So, let's imagine that the government, the federal government decides that Alex Jones is a real threat, and so they decide to arrest him.

00:26:11.000 They've got to put him on trial.

00:26:13.000 They've got to prove that he's a real threat. 0.99

00:26:15.000 Was he, like, manufacturing fucking explosives? 0.99

00:26:17.000 Was he planning on doing something to a federal building? 0.98

00:26:20.000 There would be a trial, and in the trial, they could use evidence to show if he was really a real threat, play his tapes, show what he was up to.

00:26:28.000 Now?

00:26:29.000 The military can just arrest him.

00:26:31.000 It's not even arrest, because they're not putting him on trial.

00:26:34.000 And they don't even have to tell anybody they've arrested him.

00:26:36.000 Yeah, they just come and get you, and they put you away indefinitely because somebody thought you were a threat to the security of the United States.

00:26:44.000 That chills me, dude. 1.00

00:26:45.000 That is so fucked up. 1.00

00:26:47.000 And if you think that that's just going to be used for, I don't know, whoever it is, these invisible people that I'm not even sure who they are, that are lurking in New York or wherever they're at, you're crazy. 1.00

00:26:58.000 If you think that's going to happen, fucking turn on some Waco footage. 0.99

00:27:04.000 You know, watch those fucking ATF agents torching that Koresh compound. 1.00

00:27:08.000 If you think that they're just going to fucking use this law for the worst and most extreme cases, no fucking way, man. 1.00

00:27:16.000 They're going to use it. 0.99

00:27:17.000 They're going to use it any way that they want.

00:27:18.000 They're going to use it for drug dealers. 0.99

00:27:20.000 They're going to use it for whatever they want to use it for.

00:27:22.000 They're going to use it for anybody, man. 0.99

00:27:24.000 I mean, we could be doing this fucking podcast from inside a FEMA camp in a few years. 0.97

00:27:28.000 Think of what you saw that cop at UC Davis do to those kids that were on their knees because he thought he could because the law was on his side. 0.99

00:27:37.000 They weren't moving.

00:27:38.000 He told them to comply.

00:27:39.000 They did not.

00:27:41.000 So he thought it was okay to spray chemicals in children's faces.

00:27:45.000 And that guy is representative of human nature.

00:27:48.000 He's a representative of abusive power.

00:27:51.000 It's very simple.

00:27:52.000 It's no logic, abusive power.

00:27:55.000 Yeah, I get someone has made your life a little more difficult.

00:27:58.000 They made your job a little harder because now you have to look out for all these kids and they're all in this place where you don't want them to be. 0.99

00:28:04.000 But guess what, fuckface? 1.00

00:28:05.000 You're not allowed to spray him in the face with fucking chemicals. 1.00

00:28:08.000 That's assault. 1.00

00:28:08.000 You're assaulting kids and you think you're allowed to do that because of something written on a piece of paper? 1.00

00:28:13.000 Fuck you, stupid. 1.00

00:28:14.000 That's dumb. 1.00

00:28:15.000 You think that that's morally reprehensible, just innately. 1.00

00:28:20.000 It's in your mind you know that's a negative thing.

00:28:24.000 In your mind you know that a peaceful protest with students, with children who have this idealistic view of the world and you're going to squash it while you're wearing a bulletproof vest We're supposed to have the right to assemble.

00:28:44.000 We're supposed to be able to get together, even if it is private property.

00:28:48.000 That is where the issue takes place. 0.92

00:28:51.000 Where the fuck else should they be? 0.99

00:28:53.000 Well, no, yeah, you're supposed to be able to do that, and you're supposed to be able to do a lot of fucking things. 0.99

00:28:57.000 And the community should embrace it, and the fucking school should have a dialogue with them. 0.98

00:29:02.000 They're supposed to be ironing everything out. 1.00

00:29:04.000 You're not supposed to just, you know, spray people in the face with fucking chemicals. 0.99

00:29:09.000 But because that guy could, because he wasn't just some guy who didn't like what the kids were saying. 1.00

00:29:14.000 You know, like, if you and I went down there, you know, like, these fucking kids are spoiled. 1.00

00:29:17.000 I'm gonna fucking spray them in the face with tear gas. 1.00

00:29:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:19.000 Yo, dude, they would lock me in jail. 1.00

00:29:21.000 They would tackle me, throw me to the ground, because I don't have the authority to assault them.

00:29:26.000 But this guy has the authority to assault them.

00:29:28.000 That's right.

00:29:29.000 Somehow or another, it's become his job.

00:29:30.000 That is exactly what's going to happen with this bill.

00:29:33.000 That is exactly what's going to happen with this amount of power.

00:29:37.000 You can't just give it to people and hope they're going to be good. 0.99

00:29:40.000 This should be against the fucking law. 0.98

00:29:43.000 Yeah, you can't do it. 0.99

00:29:44.000 You can't ever do it.

00:29:45.000 You want a way to stop terrorist threats? 0.99

00:29:48.000 Let's get the fuck out of their countries. 1.00

00:29:50.000 How about that? 1.00

00:29:50.000 Great start. 1.00

00:29:51.000 How about that?

00:29:51.000 That's a good start.

00:29:52.000 How about you stop occupying these fucking countries that don't really need us? 0.99

00:29:55.000 No one needs us in Afghanistan. 1.00

00:29:58.000 I want everybody's relatives, come back fucking home. 1.00

00:30:02.000 Those people that are sending you over there are not looking out for your best interests. 1.00

00:30:05.000 That's ridiculous. 0.96

00:30:06.000 That's right, man. 0.98

00:30:07.000 This is a time-old story.

00:30:08.000 It's a timeless tale that's been told back and forth. 0.97

00:30:11.000 The last edition was Vietnam, but apparently nobody fucking learned from it. 0.58

00:30:15.000 Apparently, everybody just still thinks that someone's looking out for you at the top. 0.90

00:30:20.000 Despite all the evidence to the contrary, someone's looking out for you, man.

00:30:23.000 Yeah, well, and also, you know, it's set up in a way that for many people, they feel like it's one of their only options is to join the military.

00:30:32.000 They feel like it's going to pay for their college, and it's...

00:30:39.000 At the UFC, there'll be marines there.

00:30:44.000 You've seen those, right?

00:30:46.000 Well, we do them for the troops.

00:30:47.000 We do shows for the troops.

00:30:48.000 And we have troops that are flown in and we get them tickets.

00:30:52.000 Well, no, no, no.

00:30:52.000 That's cool.

00:30:53.000 I'm talking about outside the recruiters where they're recruiting people. 0.99

00:30:58.000 It's awesome to fucking... 0.99

00:30:59.000 At the fights? 0.99

00:31:00.000 Yeah, at the fights where they're recruiting people.

00:31:02.000 You're all juiced up with testosterone after seeing a fight.

00:31:05.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:31:06.000 You don't want to fucking be tricked into that. 0.97

00:31:08.000 That's not fair. 1.00

00:31:08.000 That's like a whorehouse that's open right in front of a strip club. 1.00

00:31:11.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

00:31:12.000 And you're like, whoa, what are you doing here, man?

00:31:14.000 Well, the one I saw, they were doing a pull-up contest is what it was.

00:31:18.000 So they were having pull-up contests and so they're getting guys there. 0.98

00:31:21.000 It's like, I do a fucking hundred pull-ups. 0.75

00:31:23.000 Look, they're doing a hundred pull-ups and I'm like, man. 0.99

00:31:25.000 You could be a Marine.

00:31:26.000 You're really tough.

00:31:28.000 You could be a Marine.

00:31:30.000 Recruiters will come on college campuses.

00:31:34.000 The United States military uses many of the same things that cults do to indoctrinate the people into it.

00:31:44.000 Cults change your identity.

00:31:46.000 They change your name. 0.94

00:31:47.000 Cults will shave your head.

00:31:49.000 They'll make you wear certain clothes.

00:31:50.000 They make you refer to people in a very specific way.

00:31:53.000 They make you use a very specific language.

00:31:55.000 In cults, people will tend to say the same thing over and over again.

00:31:58.000 It's just based on whatever the leader said.

00:32:01.000 So a lot of the indoctrination is very similar to when cults come out to campuses and stuff.

00:32:07.000 It's a very similar thing.

00:32:09.000 And what they do is they get people to join up Who haven't actually considered the reality of what they're going to be doing. 0.99

00:32:19.000 Some of them really do want to like fucking blast goddamn machine guns in the desert because it's fucking fun. 0.99

00:32:25.000 There's a great book by Sebastian Junger called War. 1.00

00:32:29.000 And it's fucking awesome. 0.82

00:32:31.000 Have you read that book? 0.97

00:32:32.000 No.

00:32:32.000 Oh my god, it's so good.

00:32:34.000 I've heard of it though.

00:32:34.000 Refresh my memory.

00:32:35.000 He decided to write a book about, it's this deadly valley in Afghanistan. 1.00

00:32:40.000 And so he decided to write...

00:32:41.000 His name, Sebastian Junger.

00:32:43.000 Sebastian Junger.

00:32:44.000 I don't know if it's Junger or Younger.

00:32:46.000 He's written other things before.

00:32:47.000 Yes, he has.

00:32:48.000 Yep, that's right.

00:32:49.000 I don't know what else, though.

00:32:50.000 I just kept hearing about this book, so I bought it.

00:32:52.000 I'm sorry.

00:32:53.000 I was just trying to remember what I remembered about it. 0.99

00:32:56.000 He lived with these fucking troops out there. 0.99

00:32:58.000 He's badass. 1.00

00:32:59.000 He's like a really tough dude who goes deep into the shit. 1.00

00:33:04.000 He's a journalist. 1.00

00:33:05.000 He's a war journalist.

00:33:06.000 Is he a CNN guy?

00:33:07.000 Is he the guy that has the accent?

00:33:08.000 I don't know.

00:33:10.000 Like an Australian accent?

00:33:11.000 Is that the guy?

00:33:11.000 I don't think he has an Australian accent, but I could be wrong.

00:33:14.000 I only saw one interview with him.

00:33:15.000 I don't remember.

00:33:16.000 I don't know why I keep interrupting you.

00:33:17.000 I'm trying to remember this.

00:33:18.000 I can't.

00:33:18.000 I'm sorry.

00:33:19.000 So what he did with his book, which is remarkable and beautiful, is he managed to write the book with no moral or ethical slant to it.

00:33:27.000 You know, he's not saying like...

00:33:29.000 War is bad or you shouldn't go to war.

00:33:31.000 You should go to war. 0.99

00:33:32.000 War is good. 1.00

00:33:34.000 It's just describing the experience of war as purely as he can.

00:33:39.000 Exactly what it's like to get hit by a roadside bomb or exactly what it's like to be in the middle of a firefight and how they've studied adrenaline levels when you get into firefights.

00:33:51.000 Okay, now I'm remembering.

00:33:52.000 I'm looking at the pictures of him online.

00:33:54.000 Yeah, I saw him on a CNN interview.

00:33:57.000 CNN or C-SPAN? They also did a documentary about it, too.

00:34:01.000 Really? 0.99

00:34:01.000 About this group of people, these badass fucking marines out in the middle of the deadliest fucking valley. 0.99

00:34:06.000 It's called the Korengal Valley, is what it's called. 1.00

00:34:09.000 Those guys, those embedded reporter guys, are fucking crazy. 1.00

00:34:12.000 They're fucking crazy, man. 1.00

00:34:13.000 What a nutty job, huh? 1.00

00:34:16.000 They want to go where the action is.

00:34:18.000 Yeah, man, but the experience of war for a young guy, he says there's no drug like it.

00:34:25.000 He says that there's nothing that will get you as high as being in a life-or-death situation where you're defending the people around you who you are connected to.

00:34:35.000 They really are your brothers.

00:34:36.000 You're surrounded, you're with these people.

00:34:38.000 See, for the troops, that's what their war is.

00:34:42.000 Their war is protecting their dear friends from getting killed.

00:34:47.000 That's how they're taught.

00:34:48.000 They're taught, these are your brothers, you will give up your life for your brothers.

00:34:52.000 That's what they're taught.

00:34:53.000 And so you develop these intense bonds for the people around you that are formed from massive bursts of adrenaline.

00:35:00.000 You know, because when adrenaline, when your body's experiencing super dangerous situations, all the senses turn on.

00:35:08.000 I think it's an evolutionary trait designed to teach you so that you learn how to survive.

00:35:13.000 Way back when, if you were getting attacked by a tiger, You know how you remember everything in a dangerous situation?

00:35:20.000 Everything becomes crystal clear.

00:35:22.000 You see everything.

00:35:23.000 Everything's kind of in slow motion.

00:35:24.000 And then afterwards, you totally remember it with this vividness that you don't remember other things. 0.94

00:35:29.000 This is where a post-traumatic stress disorder, shock disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder comes from, is that people who get in really intense situations in war They get these fucking memories burnt into their brains like tattoos. 0.65

00:35:43.000 They can't forget it. 0.85

00:35:44.000 Their mind keeps going back to it.

00:35:46.000 Like when your memory wanders and you think back to a moment, it's kind of dulled and the colors are dim and you don't remember it.

00:35:52.000 Their memories go back to it 100%, so it's like they're there.

00:35:56.000 Their hearts start racing and it fucks up your life because this thing has been burnt into your mind.

00:36:02.000 In these situations, you're experiencing life at this super high voltage and you're experiencing with a group of people and you form bonds with these people that you don't have with normal people in life.

00:36:13.000 You form these intense bonds.

00:36:15.000 Maybe it's like the kind of bonds you form when you're with your wife and she's giving birth or something, when you're sharing those moments with people.

00:36:23.000 It's like that.

00:36:24.000 I think these effects are studied by the people whose job it is to make the troops efficient.

00:36:31.000 And they use these really intense conditioning techniques and stuff that a lot of these people aren't prepared for.

00:36:37.000 They don't know what they're getting into.

00:36:39.000 They don't know that they're getting into more than just defending their country.

00:36:42.000 They're getting into a well-studied system of brainwashing and conditioning that transforms them from normal American citizens into people who are willing to die For whatever their commander says.

00:36:57.000 You can't question what your commander says.

00:36:59.000 You can't question whoever the superior officer is about doing this or that.

00:37:03.000 You have to do it.

00:37:05.000 War couldn't work if that wasn't the case. 0.99

00:37:06.000 If each individual person got to decide, I don't think I'm going to shoot that fucking grenade, man. 0.99

00:37:13.000 I don't want to do that. 0.99

00:37:14.000 You know what?

00:37:15.000 The place down there where all the people are with the guns that want to kill me, I'm probably not going to go there today.

00:37:20.000 It's amazing how easy it is to sell the idea that you're supposed to go kill someone because some people that are in office, even though you know that everyone in office is essentially corrupted, but because those people are in office, they tell you you're allowed to kill these people.

00:37:34.000 Not only are you allowed to kill people, but when you come back, they'll be happy to see you.

00:37:41.000 Sure. 0.99

00:37:42.000 Whereas in any other time, if you find out that a guy killed somebody, like, look, this fucking guy, man, he's a good dude, but he went to jail for manslaughter, he beat some guy to death in front of a nightclub, and he's kind of fucked up, went to jail for 10 years. 0.98

00:37:54.000 You're like, I don't want to be around that guy. 0.99

00:37:55.000 That guy killed somebody.

00:37:57.000 But if you are around a war hero, it's a different feeling.

00:38:00.000 Sure.

00:38:00.000 And different feelings for them, too.

00:38:03.000 I mean, some guys have issues over it, but I've met guys that don't.

00:38:07.000 I know some really smart guys that went overseas and they're happy that they did what they did.

00:38:12.000 58 confirmed kills.

00:38:14.000 Dude, I know some snipers.

00:38:16.000 Yeah.

00:38:16.000 I know one dude very well that was a sniper.

00:38:18.000 Well, I mean...

00:38:19.000 That's got to be a weird thing, man, to look at someone from a distance and make them disappear from Earth.

00:38:24.000 Blimp! 0.79

00:38:25.000 From a distance.

00:38:26.000 You know, that's what it is.

00:38:28.000 I mean, that's what being a sniper is. 0.99

00:38:30.000 You're not there to fucking win a target contest. 0.99

00:38:32.000 You ain't playing pinball. 1.00

00:38:33.000 Yeah, you're there to peck people off that they want to kill from a distance. 0.94

00:38:36.000 You're there to evaporate people's heads. 1.00

00:38:38.000 Yeah, you explode their brain. 0.99

00:38:40.000 Yeah, you're a widow maker. 1.00

00:38:42.000 You're out there fucking making kids grow up without their dad. 1.00

00:38:46.000 You're out there fucking making it so that for the rest of their lives, there's going to be sentimental moments where a guy looks at a grainy picture of the person whose face you just turned to jelly and bone fragments. 0.99

00:38:57.000 For the rest of their life, they're going to be looking at this picture being like, man, I wonder what my It's crazy, man. 0.98

00:39:23.000 It's amazing when you break it down like that. 0.98

00:39:25.000 When you look at it for what the actual physical act of it is instead of looking at it as a patriotic American who supports everything that we do overseas and, you know, put a fucking flag on your window that says, God bless our troops. 0.90

00:39:38.000 You know, instead of just looking at it analytically, not even like casting a blame. 0.93

00:39:42.000 Describe it.

00:39:42.000 Just describing it.

00:39:43.000 Just describe it.

00:39:44.000 It becomes insanity. 0.99

00:39:45.000 It becomes a point where people are angry at you and they'll say, you're talking shit about the American soldiers and the US Army. 0.99

00:39:51.000 Well, actually, not even. 0.98

00:39:53.000 You don't even have to.

00:39:54.000 All you have to do is just describe what's happening. 0.99

00:39:57.000 You don't have to talk any shit. 0.98

00:39:58.000 When you describe what's happening, the reality of the details is so horrific that people will interrupt you with excuses. 0.99

00:40:07.000 All you have to do is say what's happening, not even cast blame.

00:40:11.000 Just describe it accurately. 0.93

00:40:14.000 Well, what you're doing there, see, is you're walking through the laser in the museum that makes the fucking door shut in front of the diamond, you know?

00:40:21.000 It's like people have these tripwires in their brains where the moment you start talking about just the stuff we've been talking about now, you're hitting some conditioning that's been intentionally put there because if it's not there, then the country can't function as an empire.

00:40:40.000 I mean, you've got to have...

00:40:41.000 If you're going to run an empire...

00:40:43.000 The population has got to have deep and intense admiration for the military force.

00:40:49.000 Because if they don't, then the military force isn't going to function because the military force is made up of the population. 0.52

00:40:54.000 But it becomes, at a certain point in time, you have to wonder, when does the military force realize these guys that are paying you absolute shit money, the guys that we have to do foundations for, we have to do benefits for, you know, for traumatic brain injuries, People have to help and contribute.

00:41:11.000 To me, when I found out that they need money for traumatic brain injuries for hospitals to deal with these guys when they come back overseas with these horrible injuries, the first thing I thought is, man, how is that possible they let that become an issue? 0.97

00:41:26.000 How much would that cost in comparison to how much fucking money they're making over there? 0.92

00:41:30.000 How much would it cost? 0.98

00:41:31.000 Who's making money? 0.99

00:41:32.000 How about the fucking people that are making all the equipment? 1.00

00:41:35.000 People selling the guns, man. 1.00

00:41:36.000 Halliburton, the people that make the air conditioning machines.

00:41:38.000 Bullets.

00:41:39.000 They're spending billions of dollars on air conditioning over there.

00:41:42.000 Sure. 0.99

00:41:42.000 They have giant tents that they're fucking air conditioning. 0.99

00:41:45.000 There's a lot of money. 0.98

00:41:45.000 You're telling me they don't have any money to spend on traumatic brain injury? 0.98

00:41:49.000 Shouldn't they invest in the best medicine possible with the smartest scientist?

00:41:54.000 How much would that cost?

00:41:56.000 Would that be cost prohibitive? 0.99

00:41:57.000 If that's cost prohibitive, then that means a fucking war should be cost prohibitive. 0.99

00:42:01.000 You shouldn't be investing in a war that you can't take care of your fucking soldiers after it's over. 1.00

00:42:06.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

00:42:07.000 That's like driving across the country with just enough money for gas and no money for food. 1.00

00:42:10.000 Oh, it's the most fucked up thing ever, man. 0.99

00:42:13.000 That is the real sickening thing about it. 1.00

00:42:17.000 Whenever you run into people who are soldiers, there was a coolest fucking guy at the Hermosa show we did, man, who said he listened to your podcast. 0.98

00:42:27.000 He was like a Special Forces guy. 0.99

00:42:30.000 And he was fucking cool, man. 0.95

00:42:31.000 And every time I run into those people, they're cool in an authentic way where you know you could be good friends with these people, you could trust these people. 0.98

00:42:38.000 You have to have a tremendous character to get through the Special Forces, the Green Berets.

00:42:43.000 Say what you will about someone being a soldier who's a puppet of a giant corporation or whatever. 1.00

00:42:50.000 To be a special forces soldier, you need to be a bad motherfucker, period. 1.00

00:42:55.000 Yeah, you do, man. 0.99

00:42:55.000 And those people are some of our best people. 0.99

00:42:59.000 They really, really are. 0.99

00:43:01.000 They're some of our best fucking people. 0.99

00:43:03.000 So, to send them off... 1.00

00:43:05.000 To bullshit wars where they're getting liquefied instead of using them for real purpose. 0.98

00:43:11.000 For really building the country up. 0.98

00:43:15.000 In the inevitable event where some shit is going to happen and we're going to need them for a real thing. 0.98

00:43:20.000 To send them to waste them. 1.00

00:43:22.000 For these fucking politicians, who are the real puppets of the corporations, to fucking send these heroes off to get their faces blown off in a... 1.00

00:43:31.000 Some country that they don't need to be, man, that is beyond evil. 1.00

00:43:34.000 That's some reptilian, vampiric, weird shit, man. 1.00

00:43:39.000 It is. 1.00

00:43:41.000 If they were eating people instead of just killing them, if every person that died they ate, we would be horrified. 0.92

00:43:47.000 That's right.

00:43:48.000 But because everybody just dies, somehow or another, it doesn't seem like they're getting killed by monsters.

00:43:52.000 But they are.

00:43:53.000 They're being killed by psychological monsters. 0.86

00:43:55.000 They've been killed by people who are willing to kill people in order to profit.

00:43:58.000 And it's really that simple.

00:43:59.000 And it doesn't seem like it should be possible.

00:44:02.000 In 2011, but that's the business that they're in! 0.99

00:44:05.000 The guy who works at the fucking butcher shop, the guy who works at the slaughterhouse, okay? 0.95

00:44:10.000 Do you think that guy, at a certain point in time... 1.00

00:44:12.000 Don't you think he gets used to killing cows? 1.00

00:44:14.000 The fuck yeah, he does. 1.00

00:44:15.000 It's his job. 1.00

00:44:16.000 But if you had to go there today and you just were alone with the cow and all this machinery and then there was a fucking manual that told you exactly how you'd pull the cow into this and lead him into this spot and then send the piston through his fucking brain and then hook him up and then gut him, you would be so freaked out at the whole process. 0.99

00:44:34.000 Worst day of my life. 0.99

00:44:34.000 Because you're not used to it. 0.99

00:44:36.000 Because it's not a normal part of your life.

00:44:39.000 Yeah.

00:44:40.000 Meanwhile, yeah, so these people are just used to it.

00:44:42.000 It just makes sense to them.

00:44:43.000 Yeah, it's a normal part of their life.

00:44:45.000 It's a normal part of their life, man. 0.95

00:44:47.000 It's like, when you hear about the friends of Bush that got all those deals in Afghanistan, all the contractors and shit, and how much they charge for work out there, they charge, like, Insane money. 0.98

00:44:59.000 Insane money for this stuff. 0.97

00:45:01.000 And you realize, oh, this is just the act of war.

00:45:04.000 It's just a way to test out some new technology and to get a lot of people some work and make a lot of people really rich. 0.99

00:45:12.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99

00:45:13.000 Incredibly rich. 1.00

00:45:14.000 And the idea that everybody...

00:45:16.000 People say there's no way that people would go to war just for money.

00:45:19.000 And I'm like, there's no way they wouldn't.

00:45:21.000 There's no way they wouldn't.

00:45:22.000 If they had to sacrifice a few thousand people here or there to make untold trillions amount of dollars...

00:45:29.000 That is what it is, too.

00:45:30.000 Yeah.

00:45:31.000 Yeah, that's funny, because if it was like, let's say there was just a group of like, robed... 0.92

00:45:36.000 demonic magicians that lived in some giant black tower and they're like we need five thousand of your strongest and bravest men we're going to sacrifice them at the top of the tower and from their blood we will reap great energy you'd be like fuck you that's the evilest thing ever but if they're like We gotta send our troops over there to defend and fight for our country. 0.79

00:45:57.000 Suddenly you're like, oh yeah, it totally makes sense. 0.99

00:45:59.000 Go ahead and do that.

00:45:59.000 They gotta fight for your freedom.

00:46:01.000 War pigs, man. 1.00

00:46:02.000 Listen to fucking Ozzy Osbourne. 1.00

00:46:04.000 He sums it up perfectly in that song. 0.99

00:46:07.000 Yeah.

00:46:07.000 Why the war machine keeps turning.

00:46:09.000 Yeah.

00:46:09.000 It is a war machine, and that's something that people have warned us about from the beginning of time.

00:46:17.000 People that are in charge, they're like everything.

00:46:20.000 They're going to eventually get drunk with power. 0.94

00:46:24.000 And they're going to lead you in some terrible direction.

00:46:26.000 And all corruption evolves.

00:46:28.000 And if it's not checked, it gets stronger and stronger.

00:46:31.000 And all you have to do is just go back to the Kennedy assassination.

00:46:34.000 Go back to Lyndon Johnson.

00:46:37.000 Go back to Richard Nixon and Watergate. 1.00

00:46:40.000 And they're all crap. 1.00

00:46:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:43.000 They've always been crooks, and no one got caught.

00:46:45.000 A few along the way.

00:46:47.000 Nixon, a few guys got popped for a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

00:46:51.000 But for the most part, everybody got away with everything.

00:46:54.000 The people who drafted up the Northwoods document, they didn't go to jail. 0.99

00:46:57.000 Whoever the fuck shot Kennedy, you know, oh, it was Lee Harvey Oswald. 0.99

00:47:02.000 He acted alone. 1.00

00:47:03.000 Sure he did.

00:47:04.000 Sure he did. 0.99

00:47:05.000 Yeah, all those people that heard bullets coming from behind them, they're just crazy. 1.00

00:47:09.000 Yeah, they're just silly people. 0.99

00:47:11.000 There was probably five or six dudes with guns. 0.99

00:47:14.000 You think they've got to rely on one guy?

00:47:16.000 And do you think that one guy really, really was on his own?

00:47:19.000 Just a lone nut? 1.00

00:47:21.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:47:22.000 Which is why, when you see John McCain... 0.99

00:47:26.000 Pretty much directly telling Rand Paul that yes, with this bill, if someone is a threat to the security of the United States, you know John Mc... 0.97

00:47:38.000 This is from the person who fucking chose Sarah Palin as his vice president. 1.00

00:47:43.000 So that's how fucked up this man is. 1.00

00:47:45.000 When you hear him saying... 1.00

00:47:47.000 Yeah, we can indefinitely arrest United States citizens who are a threat to the security of this country.

00:47:54.000 You have to ask, well, what is John McCain's definition of security?

00:47:58.000 I know what mine is.

00:47:59.000 What's John McCain's definition of the security of this country?

00:48:02.000 Because I think it's wildly different from my idea and your idea and from most people's idea of the security of the country.

00:48:08.000 I think for John McCain, the security of the country means that The corporations are able to function without getting disturbed by people who have the gall or audacity to say that the way that wealth is distributed right now is unfair and is fucking up, is basically eating away and eroding the foundations of what this country is supposed to be about. 0.93

00:48:31.000 I think fucking McCain would very much like to take those people and put them in some indefinite detainment. 0.96

00:48:40.000 If he could. 0.99

00:48:41.000 And eventually, maybe it won't be McCain.

00:48:43.000 Maybe it won't be this year.

00:48:44.000 Maybe when this bill passes, it'll be 15 years before it happens.

00:48:48.000 But eventually, people just start disappearing.

00:48:51.000 People vanish in the middle of the night. 0.99

00:48:54.000 Did you hear about this fucking ridiculous thing that Newt Gingrich said? 0.99

00:48:58.000 Gary Johnson outed Newt Gingrich about being a pot smoker and the fact that he was pushing for something that would make marijuana distribution after a certain amount, with a certain volume, you'd be able to be put to death, essentially. 1.00

00:49:20.000 You'd be eligible for the death penalty.

00:49:21.000 Who said this? 0.82

00:49:22.000 Newt Gingrich.

00:49:23.000 A guy who admits that he had smoked pot.

00:49:26.000 He's talking about pot dealers.

00:49:27.000 Yeah.

00:49:28.000 Wow.

00:49:29.000 Gary Johnson outed him on this.

00:49:30.000 Right.

00:49:31.000 So yeah.

00:49:32.000 So right.

00:49:33.000 And there are many people right now who are in control of this country who...

00:49:37.000 But how crazy is that?

00:49:38.000 It's evil.

00:49:39.000 Can you imagine?

00:49:40.000 There's someone saying that a guy who sells pot, because he sells a lot of it.

00:49:45.000 What if he sells one joint?

00:49:46.000 Well, one joint, no death penalty. 0.94

00:49:49.000 Okay, I sell a million joints, death penalty. 1.00

00:49:51.000 Off with his head! 1.00

00:49:52.000 You know, why? 1.00

00:49:53.000 Because you're giving more people the same shit? 0.99

00:49:55.000 That doesn't even make any sense. 0.99

00:49:56.000 I've never understood that.

00:49:57.000 The idea of, like, a volume issue makes the crime worse.

00:50:01.000 Like, if you're selling a couple joints to your friends, it's like a little slap in the wrist.

00:50:04.000 But if you're selling 100,000 pounds in the back of a semi...

00:50:07.000 You're going to get locked up for the rest of your life.

00:50:09.000 But take it a little further back. 1.00

00:50:11.000 You're talking about a fucking farmer. 1.00

00:50:13.000 You're going to execute a farmer? 1.00

00:50:15.000 It's agriculture, man. 1.00

00:50:16.000 This shit grows out of the ground. 1.00

00:50:18.000 You're going to execute a fucking guy who is a horticulturist or a botanist. 1.00

00:50:23.000 You're going to kill somebody who grew a plant. 1.00

00:50:26.000 It's not like he was whipping up poison. 0.98

00:50:29.000 You know what?

00:50:29.000 That's the weird thing.

00:50:30.000 You could probably whip up 500 gallons of cyanide and distribute that around and you couldn't get the death penalty for that.

00:50:37.000 As deadly as that is.

00:50:39.000 Pure deadly cyanide. 1.00

00:50:40.000 But if you're growing enough fucking marijuana, Newt Gingrich thinks that he wants to execute you. 1.00

00:50:45.000 He wants to kill you. 1.00

00:50:46.000 Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich introduced in 1997 the Drug Importer Death Penalty Act of 1996. 0.99

00:50:53.000 A bill would have required a sentence of death for certain importations of significant quantities of controlled substances.

00:51:00.000 It would have applied to anyone convicted more than once of carrying 100 doses or about 2 ounces of marijuana across the border. 0.89

00:51:10.000 You're dead. 0.99

00:51:14.000 You're dead. 1.00

00:51:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:17.000 What a monkey. 1.00

00:51:19.000 What an old limp dick monkey. 1.00

00:51:22.000 Just you old dumb fuck. 1.00

00:51:24.000 You ancient thinking shithead. 1.00

00:51:27.000 You fucking rule maker. 1.00

00:51:30.000 You write it down and everyone knocks the hammer and then it makes it right. 1.00

00:51:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:35.000 Your fucking system is obviously bullshit. 1.00

00:51:38.000 All of it's bullshit. 1.00

00:51:39.000 So your laws are bullshit. 1.00

00:51:40.000 All your rules are bullshit. 1.00

00:51:42.000 All this posse comitatus, whatever it is, that's bullshit too. 1.00

00:51:46.000 It's just we just decide. 0.98

00:51:48.000 People write things down on paper and we decide what is right and what is wrong.

00:51:51.000 And then we agree.

00:51:52.000 No, we're not agreeing to this.

00:51:54.000 We don't even get to vote on any of this.

00:51:56.000 The idea that they can just impose this on you is nothing short of imperialism.

00:52:01.000 It's nothing short of people telling other people what they can't do.

00:52:06.000 Telling other people that they're not as special as them, that they're not worth as much as them, that they don't have any rights.

00:52:12.000 That they don't have any authority.

00:52:14.000 And that these people who write the things down on paper all of a sudden have the authority over the mass of other humans that don't.

00:52:22.000 They're special.

00:52:23.000 They override.

00:52:24.000 And now they're telling us that they override because they have weapons.

00:52:28.000 Because they're going to allow the military to actually enter into civilian areas and stop uprisings.

00:52:36.000 So you're going to have tanks can stop Operation Wall Street.

00:52:40.000 That's right.

00:52:40.000 Literally, what happened in Tiananmen Square that horrified every American.

00:52:45.000 Yeah.

00:52:45.000 When we saw those kids get run over by tanks and killed.

00:52:47.000 It was terrifying that their government is so fucking against them. 1.00

00:52:52.000 That their government is so cruel and so evil. 1.00

00:52:55.000 They've been willing to run over their citizens.

00:52:58.000 Run over the people whose hard work literally...

00:53:02.000 Funded the Empire.

00:53:04.000 Funded these tanks.

00:53:05.000 Every person chipped in a certain amount.

00:53:07.000 But because these people defy, because these people protest, they're going to run over them with tanks and crush them on television in front of everybody.

00:53:14.000 That's right.

00:53:15.000 And that's the type of person that Newt Gingrich is.

00:53:18.000 And that can come from this action.

00:53:22.000 And that's why people don't understand.

00:53:23.000 Why are you getting so outraged about this?

00:53:25.000 This is crazy.

00:53:26.000 This is like a movie.

00:53:28.000 This is like Batman.

00:53:30.000 We're in Batman right now.

00:53:32.000 And the evil people are slowly getting their grips on our government. 1.00

00:53:37.000 There's some guy with a fucking mask on. 1.00

00:53:39.000 And he's working for all the bad guys. 1.00

00:53:41.000 And he's pretending to be a senator.

00:53:43.000 And Batman has to figure this guy out.

00:53:45.000 And he has to get to him.

00:53:46.000 And right now that guy looks like Barack Obama.

00:53:48.000 Barack Obama's like, he's got a mask on. 1.00

00:53:51.000 He's like some fucking lizard guy underneath all this. 1.00

00:53:53.000 And he's just a really good actor. 0.99

00:53:55.000 And he's got everybody convinced that everything's cool.

00:53:57.000 And David Icke is right, man. 1.00

00:53:58.000 They're all fucking reptilians. 1.00

00:54:00.000 He's Cobra Commander. 1.00

00:54:02.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.92

00:54:03.000 It almost like that would fit right into the plot. 0.99

00:54:05.000 If you found out Obama really was a reptilian, it would like fit right in the plot. 0.97

00:54:09.000 If you found out that Newt Gingrich really was some evil reptilian that wanted to take over the reptile farm.

00:54:15.000 You know, he doesn't like to Well, you know, before you get to the reptilian part, you can just kind of look at what they really are.

00:54:29.000 And what they really are, here's one thing you know about Newt Gingrich.

00:54:32.000 Newt Gingrich... 0.99

00:54:35.000 He wants to kill people. 1.00

00:54:37.000 Newt Gingrich feels comfortable killing people. 1.00

00:54:39.000 You know that. 0.89

00:54:39.000 And you also know that Newt Gingrich would make money off of that. 0.89

00:54:43.000 Newt Gingrich would make money off of killing people. 0.76

00:54:46.000 The people who support war make money off of killing people.

00:54:50.000 They literally transform Human beings into money. 0.78

00:54:54.000 They kill human beings and that turns into money and money's energy. 0.90

00:54:58.000 So what that means is they're vampires. 0.93

00:55:00.000 That's what they really are.

00:55:01.000 They're vampires. 0.51

00:55:02.000 They convert human energy through destruction into cash.

00:55:08.000 And then they use that cash to make their lives better. 0.97

00:55:12.000 Just like vampires sink their fangs into people, suck the blood to stay alive. 0.96

00:55:18.000 It's the same thing. 0.99

00:55:18.000 It's vampiric. 0.99

00:55:19.000 It's a vampiric form of existence. 0.96

00:55:22.000 And it's really fucking terrifying when you realize that it's 100% true.

00:55:29.000 Not only is it 100% true, it doesn't seem to be any way to get them out. 0.96

00:55:32.000 Other than them dying and young people taking their place. 1.00

00:55:35.000 Young people who grew up with the internet.

00:55:38.000 It seems like a certain amount of the way the system is, it's like they've sort of just accepted it. 0.95

00:55:44.000 And everyone's accepted that it's just a fuckwash. 0.79

00:55:48.000 But you have to think, I don't think that they're unaware of where they're fallible. 0.96

00:55:55.000 I think they know where they're fallible.

00:55:56.000 But they can't correct it.

00:55:57.000 I think that maybe they know what they're doing in a really intense way because they've had infinite amounts of money to study human psychology and to understand how to control populations and they got it down to a science. 0.61

00:56:10.000 Man, there's a great fucking documentary on the BBC called The Century of the Self. 0.71

00:56:14.000 Have you seen that? 0.99

00:56:15.000 No.

00:56:16.000 Edward Bernays.

00:56:17.000 It's this guy, Bernays, who was like Freud's cousin.

00:56:19.000 And it's all about the ways that they started studying how to manipulate the perception of populations for the sake of corporations.

00:56:29.000 So, for example...

00:56:31.000 Cigarette companies approached Bernays and they're like, listen, women don't want to smoke right now because they think it's too masculine.

00:56:37.000 What do you think we can do to make it so that women want to smoke? 1.00

00:56:41.000 And so Bernays said, well, you need to make women feel like it's a form of activism or they're like pushing against male dominated culture. 1.00

00:56:49.000 It's like, make it part of the women's rights movement. 1.00

00:56:53.000 What they did is they got a bunch of these girls to march during the Macy's Day parade. 1.00

00:56:58.000 And at one point, they told all the press that they were going to do this.

00:57:01.000 At one point, the women lifted up their dresses and like pulled cigarettes out of their garters or whatever and started smoking in front of all these reporters who were snapping pictures. 1.00

00:57:10.000 And so the reporters put that in all these newspapers.

00:57:14.000 Women want the right to smoke. 1.00

00:57:16.000 Now all of a sudden what Bernays did or what the cigarette companies did is they tied into the DNA of the women's rights movement smoking. 0.99

00:57:24.000 So now smoking becomes an empowerment and a sign of feminism and all of a sudden women start smoking and it totally fucking works. 1.00

00:57:31.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

00:57:32.000 Yeah, it totally works.

00:57:34.000 So it's like, so stuff like, and that was a long time ago, man.

00:57:38.000 So that was a long time ago.

00:57:39.000 So they started studying, you know, they started studying.

00:57:41.000 It's just like, imagine like somebody who heard sheep, or imagine somebody who is in charge of any kind of animal, a beekeeper, for example, or anyone who's in charge of controlling animals.

00:57:52.000 They're experts.

00:57:53.000 They know how to like, they know how to do, like turkey hunters are the same way.

00:57:57.000 They know how to do turkey calls in just a perfect way to make a turkey appear and to blast it. 0.99

00:58:02.000 So I think that people put a lot of money into studying human perception, the way people work, and I think maybe what we think, the amount of control that we think we wield, it's an illusion. 0.97

00:58:17.000 When I see those fucking Black Friday videos, You know, when you see the Black Friday videos of thousands of people stampeding through a Walmart, banging down the door of a fucking Walmart like zombies, have you ever seen that video? 0.94

00:58:29.000 Yeah, absolutely. 0.99

00:58:30.000 When you see that, To me, it's like, man, maybe you and me and a few other people have these ideas, but in general, as a herd, it seems like they've gotten people so doped up and dumbed down that I don't know that they're making too many mistakes.

00:58:47.000 I think they make mistakes here and there. 0.98

00:58:49.000 I think they fuck up in a drone. 1.00

00:58:51.000 I think there's a lot of shit that's going on that is just coincidental and is more... 1.00

00:58:57.000 Of a symptom of the way we've sort of developed as a society than a grand plan. 0.99

00:59:05.000 And it's more of them filling in the gaps that were available.

00:59:09.000 Taking advantage of a lot of situations that are available. 0.99

00:59:13.000 I don't think that it's one gigantic group with a fucking finger on all the marionette handles. 0.99

00:59:21.000 I think it's worse than that. 0.99

00:59:23.000 You know the term gestalt?

00:59:24.000 You ever heard that term?

00:59:25.000 Yes.

00:59:25.000 So I think it's the gestalt.

00:59:27.000 I think it's like somehow the super consciousness that has emerged from this group of people collaborating has become its own thing.

00:59:37.000 It's become an organizing force that's organizing towards the negative and towards the vampiric and not organizing towards the positive.

00:59:45.000 Did you listen to Bruce Lipton?

00:59:48.000 I didn't.

00:59:49.000 It was really interesting.

00:59:50.000 He was on the podcast yesterday, and one of the things he was talking about was the importance of creating a community, like a good community of people.

00:59:57.000 You feed off their energy, and those people that you're around, you feed off their energy.

01:00:01.000 If they're positive, you'll actually feel better.

01:00:04.000 You'll have a more positive life.

01:00:05.000 And it totally makes sense.

01:00:07.000 Totally.

01:00:07.000 Oh yeah, it's the most important.

01:00:09.000 that's one of the reasons that people um advise uh spending time in ashrams or spending time around people who are meditating because you um from being around people who are working and also it's the same with martial arts you want if you're around people who are fighters and you see the different forms and styles that they're using that's gonna you're gonna evolve just from being around them and seeing what they're doing their techniques yeah so yeah it you know it's like you when Well, you learn techniques of thinking too.

01:00:36.000 That's one of the things that people always comment on this podcast.

01:00:39.000 I get emails and tweets and Facebook messages where people are always talking about how they don't know anybody that thinks the way they think.

01:00:48.000 They don't have anybody that has the interest or who looks at things in just the raw, honest, black and white view that you see.

01:00:55.000 And here's my perceptions, and it's not flavored by what's politically correct, and it's not flavored by what's thought to be acceptable behavior.

01:01:04.000 It's what I really think, and I want to know if you think the same thing.

01:01:07.000 And when you do that, it resonates with people.

01:01:10.000 They don't know anybody else who's doing that.

01:01:13.000 Right.

01:01:15.000 So in that same way, this podcast has, because of the incredible connection it's given me with shitloads of fucking people, my evolution sped up because I'm constantly getting amazing videos, book recommendations, basic things from people. 0.51

01:01:33.000 Links, Twitter links and crazy stories. 0.55

01:01:35.000 So it's certainly altered me for the positive.

01:01:40.000 100%.

01:01:41.000 Me as well.

01:01:42.000 As I've been a part of it, as doing the podcast, being a part of it, it's completely enhanced my perception of things, and people have cleared up things that I didn't understand before.

01:01:53.000 People have sent me alternative points of view that also should be considered.

01:01:57.000 There's so many interesting bits of information that keep coming at you from all these different forms.

01:02:02.000 Right.

01:02:03.000 It's creating a feedback loop.

01:02:05.000 What I was getting at is that what these people have put together, what the people involved in the military-industrial complex have put together, is a very high-level evil version of that.

01:02:15.000 That's it, man.

01:02:16.000 They have a high-level evil version of thinking, where everyone is thinking along the same way, and you have to make sacrifices, and you've got to crack some eggs to make an omelet, and all of this.

01:02:27.000 Thinking is put into like a mindset, and that mindset is enforced into the troops, beaten into their head, supported through their ranks, applied to corporations.

01:02:38.000 And many of them, and it's really like, when you consider that many of the people at the top of the Power structures are fundamentalist Christians.

01:02:48.000 It's hilarious.

01:02:49.000 Now imagine this.

01:02:50.000 Imagine that they weren't fundamentalist Christians.

01:02:52.000 Imagine they were just, you know, cultists and they believed in a dark god.

01:02:56.000 They worshipped a dark god and this dark god was a child sacrificer and had sacrificed its own son at one point, spilled the blood of its own son. 0.98

01:03:06.000 Out of some sense of obligation or power and that they were praying and worshiping daily to a dark god who was planning revenge on the majority of the human race and was right now at this very moment planning and getting ready to destroy the planet with plagues and Different horsemen and trumpets and weird crazy fucking angels that are going to fly down and kill and poison the waters of the earth and they're worshiping this God daily. 1.00

01:03:33.000 They go to church and worship a God that wants to destroy the planet every fucking day. 0.99

01:03:39.000 They pray to this God, Oh Lord, give me the courage to lead today so that I may be prepared for when you return and destroy the planet. 1.00

01:03:49.000 That's who they fucking pray to, man. 0.99

01:03:51.000 That's God. 1.00

01:03:52.000 They pray to God. 1.00

01:03:53.000 They pray to a God that wants to wipe us out, throw us in hell, kill the fucking homosexuals, destroy the majority of the planets. 1.00

01:04:00.000 All that's left is a few John McCain-style honkies with their feet in a river of blood, waving up at Gabriel or worshiping God, like walking down streets of gold, waving American flags. 1.00

01:04:12.000 That's the freaks who are, a lot of them are running this fucking country, man. 0.99

01:04:15.000 That ain't good. 1.00

01:04:16.000 That's not good.

01:04:18.000 That's bad. 0.98

01:04:19.000 I don't want anyone having access to a nuclear arsenal that worships a god that's planning on, at some random time, blasting the planet I'm living on and wiping out the majority of the people because he's pissed about what they did to his fucking hippie kid 22,000 years ago. 0.99

01:04:37.000 Like, come on, man. 0.99

01:04:39.000 Forget about it.

01:04:40.000 I wasn't alive back then. 1.00

01:04:41.000 I can't help it that they fucking threw your kid up on a cross. 0.98

01:04:44.000 I had nothing to do with it. 1.00

01:04:46.000 Why are you coming back to kill their descendants, you weirdo? 1.00

01:04:49.000 Give us a fucking break. 1.00

01:04:51.000 Your God traveled back in time and pluck him off the fucking cross, man. 1.00

01:04:55.000 Yeah, and isn't he controlling this whole game? 1.00

01:04:57.000 Doesn't he have a...

01:04:58.000 Can he just come down and give us better directions?

01:05:01.000 He just gives you this game, and you just fuck this game up, and you're supposed to read some old manual on how to play the game, and it's interpreted through three different languages, and it was just a spoken word thing for a thousand years before that. 0.92

01:05:14.000 So who knows how much of it is fucking valid. 0.98

01:05:16.000 And this is how you're playing the game, and you're fucking up along the way, and everybody's telling you, keep fucking up, and he's going to come, and he's going to take you away. 1.00

01:05:21.000 he's gonna take you away and he's gonna put you in a dark dark place forever but there's these thoughts and they have these ideas and these urges and they seem to be natural you better suppress those oh yeah but I wanna fuck I wanna fuck all the time you're gonna go to hell don't do it you're gonna go to hell this guy's an asshole I wanna kill him you can't do it You can't kill him! 1.00

01:05:40.000 And that's the most amazing thing, that these same people, all of a sudden, you're allowed to kill them if some sanctioned group says. 1.00

01:05:46.000 And you can even say you're doing it for God.

01:05:49.000 May God bless you all.

01:05:51.000 Wow.

01:05:51.000 God is blessing us to go Jackson people we don't know.

01:05:55.000 Their God.

01:05:56.000 Their God.

01:05:56.000 I call their God Loon Loon.

01:05:58.000 And it's this weird fucking creature. 1.00

01:06:01.000 It reminds me of an H.P. Lovecraft demon spirit. 1.00

01:06:03.000 If you change the name of their God.

01:06:06.000 Well, their God doesn't have a name.

01:06:07.000 It's a nameless God. 0.99

01:06:08.000 It's like out of fucking Conan. 1.00

01:06:10.000 It's a nameless, it's an invisible nameless God. 0.99

01:06:13.000 And they worship the invisible nameless God. 1.00

01:06:16.000 And part of worshiping the invisible nameless God is sending kids off to war and fucking letting the kids kill people. 1.00

01:06:25.000 And another part of worshiping the invisible nameless God is making it so gay people can't get married. 1.00

01:06:30.000 The invisible nameless one. 0.99

01:06:32.000 You know what he hates, Joe?

01:06:33.000 What? 1.00

01:06:34.000 He fucking... 1.00

01:06:35.000 Butt sex? 1.00

01:06:35.000 Hates butt sex. 1.00

01:06:36.000 Damn, why'd he make it feel so good? 1.00

01:06:38.000 The one with no name! 1.00

01:06:40.000 He curses the gays! 1.00

01:06:42.000 The one with no name! 1.00

01:06:42.000 He doesn't like butt sex! 1.00

01:06:44.000 He, like, really upsets him. 0.99

01:06:46.000 You know the Little Richard song, Tootie Fruity?

01:06:48.000 Used to be Tootie Fruity Good Booty.

01:06:49.000 No, it didn't.

01:06:50.000 Tootie Fruity! 1.00

01:06:51.000 That's why Little Richard is damned. 1.00

01:06:55.000 He's eternally damned by this fucking loon loon. 1.00

01:06:58.000 Tootie Fruity, good booty. 1.00

01:06:59.000 Evil man. 1.00

01:07:00.000 He's an evil man. 1.00

01:07:02.000 Did you see that dumb cartoon I made, by the way? 1.00

01:07:05.000 No. 1.00

01:07:05.000 Jesus heals a gay? 1.00

01:07:06.000 No. 0.97

01:07:07.000 I, like, redid, like, I took an old Christian cartoon of Jesus healing a leper and just replaced the words with him healing a homosexual. 0.99

01:07:14.000 Oh, pull that up. 0.99

01:07:15.000 Pull that up.

01:07:16.000 Listen, I did it in, like, four hours, so it ain't, you're not looking at professional fucking, this ain't gonna be no, this ain't gonna be no Pixar. 0.53

01:07:24.000 Don't, you know, have to qualify at first. 0.95

01:07:26.000 You're so humble.

01:07:27.000 No, I have to be.

01:07:29.000 This is not a... 0.92

01:07:30.000 Hey, we should talk about that sketch that you did that's like the I'm gonna get you sucker sketch. 0.93

01:07:36.000 Oh, yeah, please.

01:07:36.000 Let's clear that up.

01:07:38.000 Because I know for a fact that Duncan did not remember that thing when he made that sketch.

01:07:44.000 And I also know because I didn't remember that sketch in that movie either.

01:07:47.000 What are you talking about?

01:07:48.000 Duncan made a video with Natasha, a hilarious video.

01:07:51.000 What's it called?

01:07:52.000 It's called Falling Apart for Adam TV. And the idea of the video, there's a scene where the girl starts taking off fake parts.

01:08:00.000 And there's a scene in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka where the same thing happened.

01:08:05.000 Where he's alone with this girl.

01:08:06.000 girl keen and ivory wayans is alone with this chick and she starts taking off all these parts i completely forgot about that even though i'm a big fan of keen and ivory wayans and i know i saw that movie i completely forgot about it and i know that duncan did not know about it because when first of all i know duncan he would never do something like that you're one of the most you have some of the the most clear artistic integrity out of almost anybody that i've ever met thanks man it's you're You're 100% legit in what you do to the point where you wouldn't even do the Pauly Shore reality show.

01:08:36.000 That's true.

01:08:37.000 He walked away from a money job on a television show where he was going to be on a reality show.

01:08:42.000 Just to stick to my integrity thing, I would like to say there was no money.

01:08:46.000 It wasn't like I was walking away from...

01:08:48.000 Oh, for sure it would have benefited you.

01:08:50.000 It would have benefited you.

01:08:51.000 I thought you'd get paid for it.

01:08:52.000 No.

01:08:53.000 No money at all?

01:08:54.000 I don't think that's legal.

01:08:56.000 No.

01:08:56.000 I don't even think that's legal.

01:08:57.000 To put you on television, I think they have to give you some after minimum.

01:09:01.000 No, that's what I thought, because it was a documentary, technically.

01:09:03.000 What?

01:09:05.000 It's a documentary, but it was all scripted.

01:09:07.000 Everything you did was scripted.

01:09:08.000 That was my feeling.

01:09:09.000 It was all scripted.

01:09:10.000 That was my feeling.

01:09:11.000 But they do that with all these reality shows.

01:09:13.000 I mean, they create things for them to do.

01:09:16.000 Well, I think in the long run, maybe someone could have contested it or something.

01:09:21.000 But really, if there had been money, I would have still walked away from it.

01:09:25.000 It could have been a good show.

01:09:26.000 And it could have been a good show if it wasn't what it was.

01:09:29.000 It was a Pauly Shore showcase.

01:09:30.000 And what it could have been was like a real realistic viewpoint of all these dudes who were doing stand-up who were out there scratching and clawing.

01:09:39.000 And that real, intense, creative environment that was that comedy store, man.

01:09:43.000 There was some...

01:09:44.000 When we were around back then, the comedy store with you and me and Diaz and Ari, there was a lot of good guys there.

01:09:50.000 Dude, I gotta tell you, man. 0.97

01:09:52.000 It's fucking great right now. 0.99

01:09:53.000 I believe you. 0.98

01:09:54.000 It's fucking really good there right now. 0.96

01:09:56.000 The crowds are... 0.97

01:09:56.000 It's packed. 0.97

01:09:57.000 It's got a really cool vibe.

01:09:59.000 But like... 0.99

01:10:00.000 But that fucking poly thing, man, it was like... 0.99

01:10:04.000 There was a lot of reasons that I walked away from that. 0.99

01:10:07.000 And one of the biggest ones, aside from the fact that I desperately didn't want to be in it, was that I had gotten trapped at that job as a talent coordinator.

01:10:16.000 I'd been doing that job for a long time, and I needed a way out.

01:10:19.000 And it was just a perfect exit mechanism for me.

01:10:23.000 So that show was like... 0.98

01:10:25.000 I'm so happy that that show happened because it got me the fuck out of there, man. 0.99

01:10:29.000 You can get stuck at a desk, man. 0.97

01:10:31.000 Yeah, you can get stuck at a job.

01:10:33.000 But as far as the Wayans brother movie stuff goes...

01:10:35.000 Oh yeah, so let me just explain it.

01:10:38.000 The scenes are very similar, but Duncan sort of has a completely different point to it, but...

01:10:45.000 Look, the idea of someone having something fake...

01:10:47.000 I mean, how many movies have there been when a guy grabs a girl's hair and it's a wig and she's bald with like four or five scraggly hairs?

01:10:53.000 There's been like a bunch of those scenes in movies.

01:10:55.000 Yeah, it's a naked gun.

01:10:56.000 Yeah.

01:10:56.000 I mean, it's just one of those...

01:10:58.000 It's like a comedy device.

01:10:59.000 It's almost like a spit take that someone's got a fake leg or a fake arm.

01:11:03.000 But both videos, the King of Every Way ones and yours, took it to the ent-most degree.

01:11:09.000 Which is, by the way, what you naturally do when you make something funny.

01:11:13.000 You always...

01:11:14.000 The more you beat on it, the funnier it gets.

01:11:17.000 And it's essentially the same joke.

01:11:19.000 Well, so where that idea came from that I did, and I have seen I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, and I did not remember that scene.

01:11:27.000 And if I had, I never would have done it.

01:11:29.000 That's a scary thing, right? 0.93

01:11:30.000 When an idea's in your head and it comes out, you're like, God damn it, that was too easy. 0.91

01:11:33.000 Well, no. 0.95

01:11:34.000 See, here's the thing.

01:11:34.000 What that idea came from...

01:11:36.000 Was from watching Natasha take her earrings off and I was watching her take her earrings off and then I started thinking about like how like when you're dating someone you're like trying like when you're in a relationship with someone used or you start dating somebody and you know Part of it is you begin to disassemble their personality.

01:11:56.000 The more you get to know someone, when you've been with someone for a very long time, you're in a relationship or you're married, you get to know the deepest part of them.

01:12:06.000 You end up getting to know very, very deep parts of them that are hidden by their personalities and things that they don't...

01:12:12.000 ever display in public or maybe they don't even know about you get to know the deepest levels man when you're when you've been having sex with someone for a long time and you know like the deepest level of a person and you've been living with someone so anyway I was thinking like man it's so weird how that's what it's all about is basically just like plucking away the different pieces of someone until all they are is this primal spark that you're fucking so that was the idea that's where it came from and That's what you think of when you look at Natasha taking off her earrings?

01:12:43.000 Yeah, I was pretty high.

01:12:48.000 Anyway, that's where the idea came from.

01:12:53.000 We had to pitch it.

01:12:55.000 We pitched it to Adam TV. Keep talking.

01:12:58.000 I'm going to pee.

01:12:58.000 We pitched it to Adam TV. They didn't know about the...

01:13:02.000 They didn't mention the Wayans thing. 1.00

01:13:03.000 We made the fucking thing. 0.98

01:13:05.000 And then immediately a few people posted links to the Wayans brothers. 1.00

01:13:09.000 And I was like, God fucking damn it, man. 0.98

01:13:11.000 Is it really, really similar? 0.99

01:13:12.000 Because I saw the movie, but I barely remember it.

01:13:15.000 I think that it's the exact same device, which is disassembling a woman, but the ending's totally different, and the point of the thing's totally different.

01:13:28.000 But to me, what was really surprising and intense about it was that some people, like...

01:13:34.000 Really use that against me and like kind of like a really angry fucking way like on Twitter like YouTube like how have you been like I didn't even know this happened I got some like shitty messages from people but it's like if I'm gonna steal right if I'm gonna steal I'm gonna steal something I'm gonna steal a sketch I'm gonna steal fucking something you know what I'm not gonna steal it from I'm not gonna steal it from a fucking Wayans movie Why it's so obscure, it's probably easier to hide. 0.96

01:14:01.000 I'm Gonna Get You Sucka is one of the most popular... 0.97

01:14:05.000 You have to consider it.

01:14:07.000 It is possible that you had it in your head and that you forgot.

01:14:11.000 Oh, well, sure.

01:14:12.000 Of course. 1.00

01:14:14.000 That shit happens to me all the fucking time. 1.00

01:14:16.000 It happens, man. 1.00

01:14:17.000 But here's the thing.

01:14:19.000 A lot of jokes are a form of math.

01:14:21.000 It's like an equation.

01:14:22.000 If you take a premise, it's an equation.

01:14:24.000 And if you break that equation down, it has natural, logical connections in that equation.

01:14:28.000 And a lot of comedic minds are going to...

01:14:31.000 If you give them a premise, they're going to come up with very similar...

01:14:34.000 Parallel thinking.

01:14:34.000 Unfortunately, though, you saw that other one first.

01:14:37.000 Yes, I did.

01:14:37.000 So that kind of factors out a parallel...

01:14:39.000 It could have been juiced in my brain, but I still...

01:14:41.000 Though it is like... 0.96

01:14:43.000 So Wayans has got a transvestite. 1.00

01:14:46.000 I think it's a transvestite. 0.99

01:14:47.000 She appears hot at first and he takes her apart. 0.94

01:14:49.000 She's not hot. 1.00

01:14:50.000 As I recall from it, he flees and that's it.

01:14:55.000 You know what I mean?

01:14:56.000 It's like it is the same thing, but it's not the same thing.

01:14:58.000 He's not an absurdist.

01:14:59.000 Yeah.

01:15:00.000 I mean, it's like saying that it's not the same joke.

01:15:04.000 You can't really defend it, though, because it is exactly the same joke.

01:15:07.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:15:08.000 If someone stole the joke from you, but then just twisted it into that, and I know you didn't steal it, that would be no...

01:15:15.000 There's no excuse.

01:15:18.000 You can't say, well, I did it differently.

01:15:19.000 Of course, you thought of it on your own. 0.99

01:15:20.000 What can I fucking do? 0.99

01:15:22.000 It's there on the internet. 0.99

01:15:23.000 There's nothing I do about it.

01:15:24.000 Is it true that you're not even Mexican?

01:15:25.000 No.

01:15:27.000 My name's Ned.

01:15:29.000 No, man.

01:15:30.000 You know what I'm saying, though?

01:15:32.000 It's like...

01:15:33.000 Parallel thinking is just...

01:15:36.000 It's unavoidable. 1.00

01:15:37.000 And what it is, you gotta go, Oh, shit. 0.99

01:15:38.000 I didn't... 1.00

01:15:39.000 Whoops.

01:15:39.000 Listen to me, Wayans.

01:15:41.000 I'm going to steal your fucking sketches from now on. 1.00

01:15:44.000 I've made the decision. 0.99

01:15:45.000 Don't say that someone will cut that.

01:15:46.000 I'm just kidding!

01:15:47.000 I love you!

01:15:49.000 Don't unleash the hackers, Joe! 1.00

01:15:52.000 They're going to cut out that part and you just fucked up. 1.00

01:15:54.000 Yeah, you just really fucked up. 0.99

01:15:55.000 Yeah, you said something you should never say ever, even in jest. 0.99

01:15:58.000 Why say rude, mean things and pretend?

01:16:01.000 That's a tired form of comedy.

01:16:02.000 How dare you, Duncan? 0.99

01:16:04.000 You know what's fucking funny, dude? 1.00

01:16:05.000 What? 0.99

01:16:06.000 The soup.

01:16:06.000 I did the soup this morning.

01:16:08.000 That show's funny, dude.

01:16:09.000 I did not know.

01:16:10.000 They had a bunch of really funny sketches where they were making fun of the chick from Real Housewives.

01:16:15.000 How high were you?

01:16:15.000 I was sober.

01:16:16.000 Stone Cold sober. 0.55

01:16:17.000 They were making fun of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, like one of the crazy chicks that's kind of cracked out in the show. 1.00

01:16:23.000 One of the writers does a...

01:16:26.000 Hilarious version of this chick. 0.99

01:16:27.000 I just guessed by seeing it.

01:16:29.000 It was hard to hear because it was really loud in there.

01:16:32.000 But I asked her right away.

01:16:34.000 I was like, that's the girl from Real Housewives.

01:16:35.000 She's like, yeah.

01:16:35.000 And I high-fived her.

01:16:36.000 It was like, really funny shit, man. 1.00

01:16:38.000 That Joel McHale dude, he's fucking funny. 1.00

01:16:41.000 He's got great delivery. 0.97

01:16:42.000 And the writers are really funny, man. 0.98

01:16:44.000 They had some funny shit on Kim Kardashian and Dude, I watched this one show, this Access morning show, where this guy, they were goofing on it. 0.87

01:16:54.000 It's on tonight's episode. 0.98

01:16:55.000 You have to watch this, because you can't believe this is real.

01:16:58.000 This guy is reading from his Blackberry, and he's talking about his help, his Mexican help.

01:17:03.000 We gave him a chance to serve the other day.

01:17:05.000 You know, he'd never served before, and here you go, here's your shot. 0.94

01:17:08.000 Oh my god, dude, it's so gross.

01:17:10.000 And then he reads the guy's text in broken English.

01:17:13.000 Oh, me legs shaking all day.

01:17:15.000 He reads it in like a Mexican accent.

01:17:19.000 Dude, it's like you watch it and you go, my god, someone pull that guy aside and give him a mushroom trip.

01:17:25.000 Someone.

01:17:25.000 Give that dude a mushroom trip and a mirror and sit him in a room and tell him to think about his life.

01:17:30.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:17:32.000 Yeah, it's pretty disturbing. 1.00

01:17:34.000 It's so clueless.

01:17:35.000 You can hear what I'm doing.

01:17:36.000 It's just so clueless.

01:17:38.000 It's so weird that you don't think that people are going to find that really gross.

01:17:43.000 It really makes me believe in the idea that there's two species happening right now.

01:17:48.000 Humans are differentiating and some humans are jumping away from what most humans are.

01:17:55.000 I think some people are splitting away.

01:17:58.000 For me to be in a mind state...

01:18:00.000 Where I thought like that, or I acted like that, or I read someone's text in some stereotypical Mexican accent to humiliate them. 0.95

01:18:09.000 He didn't even think he was humiliated. 0.79

01:18:11.000 I think I'd have to have a head injury.

01:18:14.000 Imagine if I started doing that.

01:18:15.000 You'd be authentically worried about me.

01:18:17.000 You'd think I'd had a breakdown or something. 1.00

01:18:20.000 This is how this person lives every day of their fucking life. 1.00

01:18:22.000 So it's like, what is that? 1.00

01:18:24.000 What kind of being is that?

01:18:27.000 That's a human. 0.92

01:18:28.000 I know it's a human.

01:18:29.000 But it's not the same kind of human I am.

01:18:31.000 That's a different kind of human. 1.00

01:18:32.000 That's a full of shit human. 1.00

01:18:34.000 That's a full of shit human. 1.00

01:18:35.000 That's a... 1.00

01:18:36.000 I don't know what it is.

01:18:37.000 How old is it?

01:18:37.000 How old is that thing?

01:18:38.000 How old is that guy?

01:18:39.000 He's in his 30s.

01:18:40.000 So this is a guy in his 30s.

01:18:42.000 He's managed to get to his 30s and he's still like that.

01:18:46.000 Nothing's knocked him off the path.

01:18:47.000 He's never...

01:18:48.000 You know when you see someone like that, you know a few things.

01:18:50.000 You know that he's never smoked pot.

01:18:54.000 Probably.

01:18:55.000 He's definitely never taken acid.

01:18:56.000 Never eaten mushrooms.

01:18:58.000 Probably he's never heard really good music.

01:19:00.000 And he's like one of those salamanders that never really goes through the transformation because the water never reaches a certain alkaline level.

01:19:07.000 Yeah, that's what he is, man.

01:19:08.000 You know, you ever hear of those?

01:19:09.000 Yeah.

01:19:10.000 There's certain animals that never metamorphosize.

01:19:13.000 Is that the word?

01:19:14.000 Metamorphosize?

01:19:15.000 There's certain animals that if the conditions are incorrect or if there's pollution in the environment, all kinds of different factors have to be taken into account.

01:19:23.000 Otherwise, they won't make the connection.

01:19:24.000 He's like a puppy that's eyes didn't open or ears didn't open. 0.99

01:19:27.000 You know, its eyes stayed fucking shut. 1.00

01:19:30.000 It's a silly hippie argument that everybody needs psychedelics. 1.00

01:19:35.000 I'm not saying everybody needs them, but goddamn a lot of people could use them. 0.99

01:19:40.000 If they would just study them and they would just distribute them through experts. 0.93

01:19:46.000 Imagine what this world would be like if we had centers where you could go as a young man to have a psychedelic experience to get a broader view of the universe.

01:19:56.000 and they do blood work on you and make sure you're healthy.

01:19:59.000 And then they sit you down and you watch documentaries and you take a class.

01:20:04.000 And when you graduate from the class, and the class is all about pharmacology and the way that different things interact with your body.

01:20:10.000 And when you're done with this class, you feel educated and you feel like you can make your own decision whether or not you want to try this.

01:20:16.000 And if you do want to try it, then they have a ceremony.

01:20:19.000 And every kid goes in there, and you all, with proper meditation techniques, proper education as to what the history of the use of these substances is, and the history and the anecdotal evidence that it may have been responsible for the actual birth of religion, that this might be what religion is all about, it might be psychedelic experience.

01:20:36.000 If we could have that, we could have communities where we did that.

01:20:38.000 Well, you'd have a big, giant football field full of people that are doing mushrooms and are putting out positive energy and are there and are balanced, healthy people that want to unite together as a species and want to embrace each other and help each other and no one ever get greedy, but let's all work together and do this together.

01:20:58.000 And you could have a football field filled with people doing this, a stadium filled with people doing this.

01:21:04.000 Yeah.

01:21:04.000 That would fix the world.

01:21:06.000 And it sounds ridiculous. 0.98

01:21:08.000 It sounds like you're saying mushrooms would fix the world. 0.98

01:21:10.000 What would do it better?

01:21:11.000 What could possibly have that effect?

01:21:14.000 Education?

01:21:15.000 Education doesn't necessarily get through your subconscious.

01:21:17.000 Education doesn't necessarily get through your programming.

01:21:19.000 Sex.

01:21:20.000 Education doesn't necessarily get through anything in your life that's really ingrained as a behavior pattern.

01:21:26.000 It doesn't always. 0.97

01:21:27.000 You can tell people all day, like Brian, that cigarettes cause cancer, and this silly goof is going to keep buying cigarettes. 0.99

01:21:32.000 Sex would do it probably more than mushrooms. 0.99

01:21:34.000 No, no, it wouldn't.

01:21:35.000 Mushrooms would do it better than anything. 0.72

01:21:37.000 Sex is just... 0.98

01:21:38.000 There's no enlightenment involved in that, Brian. 0.99

01:21:40.000 It's silly.

01:21:41.000 The psychedelic experience itself is important. 0.93

01:21:44.000 You need to be humbled. 0.99

01:21:45.000 It's not just, you know, everybody fuck everybody and feel good about it. 0.98

01:21:49.000 Yeah, we've talked about this before when Duncan was on, and like, you know, that might be good for like five out of ten people, and the other five, they're so terrified they're not going to ever leave the house again. 0.98

01:21:58.000 That's not necessarily the case, because if it was done correctly through some sort of a shamanic center where they actually evaluated people and taught them and educated them, you'd probably be able to weed out the people who were fucked up. 0.95

01:22:10.000 And you'd probably be like, dude, reality itself is a little fucking slippery for you. 0.83

01:22:14.000 Maybe you should not be doing this. 0.94

01:22:16.000 Maybe we should look into, like, Ritalin for you.

01:22:18.000 Maybe we should, you know what I'm saying?

01:22:20.000 Sure.

01:22:20.000 A lot of people are 100% anti-depressants.

01:22:25.000 They're like, fuck that, dude. 1.00

01:22:26.000 You're ruining your brain chemistry. 1.00

01:22:27.000 Fuck that, dude. 1.00

01:22:28.000 Don't let them change your brain. 1.00

01:22:29.000 I know several people where it's literally changed their life for the better and saved their life maybe even.

01:22:36.000 I know several people.

01:22:37.000 So I would never say that.

01:22:39.000 I would never say that.

01:22:42.000 The thing is, there's no rules.

01:22:44.000 The main rule is this is your incarnation and you get to do what you want with it.

01:22:49.000 The idea is to, as much as you can, expand your levels of happiness and your awareness so that you can feel connected and good in this existence.

01:23:00.000 There are a lot of tools to do that. 0.53

01:23:02.000 Some of the tools take a long fucking time to do.

01:23:05.000 And I think when McKenna was talking about mushrooms being the most obvious tool to transform, to create a huge, wide-scale transformation on the planet, he recognized that there's not a lot of time. 0.75

01:23:16.000 That's what he was thinking.

01:23:17.000 It's not like we've got a ton of fucking time to create meditation temples or to spread good information or to spread some new religion. 1.00

01:23:24.000 There's no time for that shit. 0.99

01:23:27.000 If you really wanted to transform these weird people who worship invisible homophobic child-sacrificing gods, if you wanted to transform people who feel comfortable dropping bombs on other people, then the quickest way to do it would be to give them a substance that allowed them to connect To each other into the earth and to develop an instantaneous form of empathy unlike anything else. 0.99

01:23:50.000 And then when they came back too, it'd be much more difficult to think about, to perceive their weird invisible God in the same way.

01:23:57.000 Yeah, it's almost like we're moving in a direction, in a terrible direction because we don't have the proper ingredients.

01:24:03.000 So because we don't have the proper ingredients, we can't feel what we're doing.

01:24:07.000 It's almost like we have a numb arm probing into the darkness.

01:24:11.000 Yes, that's it. 0.96

01:24:11.000 That numb arm is scratching the fuck out of reality. 0.96

01:24:14.000 And we don't know because we just can't feel it.

01:24:16.000 But if we could just feel it, if we could add this other ingredient into the mixture that is life, well then, okay, now all your pieces are in order and now you can see and feel what you're doing.

01:24:28.000 Because the big problem with human beings when it comes to...

01:24:32.000 When it comes to destroying the atmosphere, when it comes to the idea of these nuclear disasters, we're not feeling it.

01:24:39.000 We don't feel it.

01:24:40.000 We don't feel the damage that we're doing.

01:24:42.000 We don't feel the garbage patch in the ocean.

01:24:44.000 We don't feel anything when you take a water bottle and then you toss it in the garbage can.

01:24:49.000 You did your job.

01:24:50.000 I'm done.

01:24:51.000 I have no connection with this anymore. 0.98

01:24:52.000 And then we don't feel when it goes into the ocean and becomes a fucking patch that's floating that's as big as Texas. 0.96

01:24:59.000 We don't feel that. 0.97

01:25:00.000 And that...

01:25:01.000 That is a lack of a connection.

01:25:03.000 That's a missing thing.

01:25:04.000 That's an animal that doesn't have all of its ingredients. 1.00

01:25:07.000 Well, it's fucking blind. 1.00

01:25:08.000 That's what it is. 1.00

01:25:09.000 It's blind, and everyone's stumbling around blind, and their focus is on material gain, and their focus is on shit that can... 0.97

01:25:18.000 If it does make you happy, it's a form of very transient, temporary happiness. 0.97

01:25:22.000 For a lot of people, it's usually followed by depression and stress. 0.94

01:25:25.000 People who buy shit they can't afford, get into debt to the banks and become slaves. 0.74

01:25:31.000 People have lost the initial or original connection with the spirit of the earth. 0.99

01:25:37.000 If you think about ayahuasca and the people drinking it in the jungle, And communing with the mind of nature.

01:25:45.000 And then getting direction from the tribe from the mind of nature. 0.82

01:25:49.000 And for people to think this is hippie bullshit, when scientists first came to the Amazon and discovered ayahuasca, they tried to call it telepathine. 0.97

01:25:56.000 That's what they were going to name it as. 0.98

01:26:00.000 Because of the fact that they were able to have...

01:26:03.000 these telepathic experiences with each other, and they all communicated about having shared visions and shared hallucinations.

01:26:10.000 So they were going to call it telepathine, but the chemical in it was already named Harmin, or whatever the substance was.

01:26:18.000 So they had to stick with the name Harmin.

01:26:20.000 Well, see, this substance, I think, for these people, has been a form of spiritual compass.

01:26:27.000 It points in the right direction.

01:26:29.000 It sets you straight.

01:26:31.000 It's like a tuning fork for your soul.

01:26:34.000 But it's amazing that talking about this, how did this happen? 0.98

01:26:37.000 Talking about this is ridiculous. 0.99

01:26:39.000 Talking about this is absolutely silly. 0.98

01:26:40.000 I feel nervous when we start talking about mushrooms can change the world. 0.99

01:26:43.000 Because I'm like, who the fuck am... 1.00

01:26:45.000 What is this idiot saying? 1.00

01:26:47.000 What kind of nonsense is he saying? 1.00

01:26:49.000 Meanwhile, you're compelled. 1.00

01:26:51.000 Meanwhile, you're compelled to say, listen, I know it sounds stupid. 1.00

01:26:54.000 I know I'm a goofy looking fuck. 1.00

01:26:56.000 I know I'm the fear factor guy. 1.00

01:26:57.000 I know...

01:26:58.000 Who the hell am I? I barely got through high school.

01:27:01.000 Went to three years of college where I halfway paid attention.

01:27:04.000 But I'm saying that we might be overlooking one of the biggest tools that human beings have ever had for evolving and developing. 0.99

01:27:13.000 And that might be why the fucking train is off the tracks and into the woods. 0.98

01:27:17.000 It might be that the animal isn't balanced. 0.99

01:27:19.000 And it might be that the animal literally developed eating all this stuff.

01:27:25.000 The animal might have become consciousness and aware from being a savage, eating all this stuff.

01:27:31.000 We might have a symbiotic relationship on this earth with certain plants that we've made illegal.

01:27:37.000 We might need them in order to be aware of the potential harm that we can do, the potential good that we can do, the value of positivity.

01:27:47.000 There's no might about it.

01:27:49.000 The value of positivity is so important when you're on a substance.

01:27:52.000 That is where all bad trips come from.

01:27:55.000 All bad trips come from some negativity, whether it's paranoia, whether it's a fear, whether it's a bad memory that you have that you're trying to avoid, shitty behavior that haunts you that you can't correct. 0.87

01:28:06.000 Whatever the fuck it is that triggers the bad trip, it's always a negative thing.

01:28:10.000 Well, what it is, what's happening is when you're taking a psychedelic, you're being given a glimpse at yourself from a distance that maybe you haven't obtained. 0.99

01:28:20.000 And meditation will give you that distance.

01:28:22.000 It gives you a form of intense mindfulness.

01:28:24.000 And so all of a sudden, you're able to see the...

01:28:28.000 I think the root of whatever pattern your life has become.

01:28:31.000 And the root is a feeling.

01:28:33.000 And that feeling for a lot of people can be a negative feeling.

01:28:36.000 And so that's when people say, you know, I don't like smoking pot, man, because it makes me get introspective.

01:28:40.000 I get paranoid and nervous.

01:28:41.000 It's like, no, pot is not making you paranoid Pot is showing you the paranoia that exists deep within you that's causing you to act fucking weird and causing your relationships to be a little more dulled than they need to be and causing your actions to be a little muted because you're afraid of the reaction that people are going to have to you because you're still stuck in survival.

01:29:04.000 You want to survive so bad that you're scared and you've covered that up with all the different whatever clothes you've decided you're going to wear in this incarnation and Your tattoos or whatever you've learned.

01:29:14.000 But deep within that, behind all that for a lot of people, is something that you could easily term negative energy, but I think it's fear.

01:29:23.000 Yeah, it's fear.

01:29:24.000 And psychedelics show you that.

01:29:26.000 And so the way to trip and these sinners that you're talking about, and if really these sinners were there, then when someone started experiencing a difficult trip, then...

01:29:38.000 These people would, instead of getting them away from that, they'd, in the best way possible, try to turn the person to it.

01:29:43.000 Like, what is that fear?

01:29:44.000 Is that fear real?

01:29:45.000 Because the joy of a psychedelic is when you have the balls to go into the darkness and all of a sudden you realize that darkness was a complete illusion. 0.98

01:29:54.000 All the darkness and negativity and spooky shit and guilt and fear and crap you thought was inside you and all the bad things you thought you've done and all the things that you feel terrible about secretly you realize, that's nothing! 0.98

01:30:06.000 It's an illusion! 0.99

01:30:07.000 The universe loves you.

01:30:09.000 You're completely embraced by the entire universe. 0.99

01:30:11.000 You're an incremental part of the functioning of the cosmos, and you're an incredible, wonderful, perfect fucking thing. 0.97

01:30:17.000 And when you get a glimpse of that, it's the greatest feeling ever, because you're healed. 0.98

01:30:21.000 Because that's what true healing is, man.

01:30:23.000 True healing is realizing you were never sick in the first place. 0.99

01:30:26.000 True healing is realizing you just had some fucking, you had a little bit of dust on the windshield, man. 0.99

01:30:32.000 You had to You brush it off, you know? 0.99

01:30:34.000 That's all.

01:30:35.000 And that's what psychedelics do for you.

01:30:37.000 And you know what else does that for you?

01:30:38.000 Really good therapy. 0.99

01:30:39.000 But really good therapy costs a lot of money and it takes a long fucking time. 0.97

01:30:43.000 And you have to be open to it. 0.97

01:30:44.000 You have to be open to change and smart.

01:30:46.000 And you have to have the ability to recognize your own faults.

01:30:48.000 Some people just have this weird shield between them and reality where they become successful because they never admit guilt.

01:30:55.000 And they just press forward and they rationalize every single thing they do.

01:30:58.000 Right.

01:30:59.000 And they just press forward.

01:30:59.000 And that becomes a mindset just as much as, you know, what we're talking about.

01:31:03.000 Yeah.

01:31:03.000 That becomes just how work is done, you know?

01:31:07.000 And that's how militaries work.

01:31:08.000 That's the only way they work.

01:31:10.000 You have to fall into a mindset.

01:31:12.000 Yeah.

01:31:12.000 Well, yeah, that's how, I mean, that's the thing.

01:31:14.000 We've all fallen into a mindset, and a lot of the fundamentalist Christians, they've fallen into these rituals and patterns, but they don't have a real connection anymore. 0.69

01:31:23.000 so they're faking it or they're actually just like taking cues from like really charismatic lunatics wouldn't it be awesome if the military really was our bravest and boldest who wanted to protect us and who were led by the the most moral and intelligent people on the planet yeah and that these really truly were heroes and in case some shit goes down they're never puppets they're They're only heroes.

01:31:48.000 There's no doubt whatsoever that they're only doing the right thing.

01:31:50.000 Wouldn't that be beautiful?

01:31:51.000 Yeah, they'd be like celebrities.

01:31:52.000 Wouldn't that be beautiful?

01:31:53.000 Well, you know, they should be.

01:31:55.000 Most of them really want to be heroes.

01:31:58.000 You know, most of them really want to protect.

01:32:00.000 It's the people that are putting them there.

01:32:03.000 Those are the problems.

01:32:04.000 The people that are pointing you and that goes, those are the bad guys.

01:32:06.000 Go get them. 0.99

01:32:07.000 I'll be over here with a pencil to write down how many you kill. 1.00

01:32:10.000 And if you do a good job, I give you a shiny piece of metal and I stick it to your fucking chest. 1.00

01:32:17.000 It's so fucking sad, man. 1.00

01:32:19.000 It's so sad and disturbing. 0.98

01:32:22.000 It's so easy to get caught up in that.

01:32:25.000 It's so easy to get caught up in the macro of the darkness that's in the world.

01:32:31.000 But man, I think the trick is to only spend a little time on that.

01:32:35.000 And spend more time working on the real basic things in your life that you can do right now to make things a little better.

01:32:44.000 Because a lot of people will focus on chemtrails when they need to be focusing on stopping smoking.

01:32:50.000 I had a person describe chemtrails to me.

01:32:53.000 Oh no. 1.00

01:32:54.000 Smoking a fucking Marlboro light. 1.00

01:32:57.000 Talking about, man, they're fucking dropping this shit on us that's sickening us, making us stupid. 1.00

01:33:04.000 It's like, dude, you know you're inhaling cancerous smoke created by a fucking corporation that's making money. 1.00

01:33:12.000 That's making money after killing you. 1.00

01:33:14.000 Who cares about some fucking chemtrails, brother? 1.00

01:33:17.000 You gotta stop smoking first. 1.00

01:33:19.000 Yeah, totally.

01:33:20.000 That's probably way worse.

01:33:22.000 Many more people are dying from cigarette smoke than they're dying from chemtrails. 1.00

01:33:26.000 Silly. 0.99

01:33:26.000 So those are the steps. 0.99

01:33:27.000 But people, it's a really simple thing to do.

01:33:29.000 You get caught up in the macro instead of being like, you know what?

01:33:32.000 Here's the thing you can try. 0.97

01:33:33.000 Instead of worrying about chemtrails, why don't you fucking get a good recipe book of like a raw recipe book. 0.97

01:33:39.000 Try eating raw for a few days and see if that makes you feel better. 0.99

01:33:41.000 Cut out some fucking, cut out eating processed food for a few days. 0.99

01:33:45.000 Not forever, just for a few days. 1.00

01:33:47.000 Well, the issue is a lot of them are really misinformed, and they really do believe that there's this constant aerial bombardment.

01:33:53.000 But one of the reasons why they believe it is because they have done some chemical spraying on people, and they've done it against people's will.

01:33:59.000 It's a fact.

01:34:00.000 Sure.

01:34:00.000 I don't believe it's happening every day.

01:34:03.000 I think a lot of what people are seeing is called contrails.

01:34:06.000 It's a natural thing that happens when jet engines encounter moisture in the atmosphere.

01:34:10.000 It was explained to me by a pilot in great detail. 0.73

01:34:12.000 Yeah, but let's go fight the chemtrail pilots when we've got a clear head because we haven't been eating shitty food.

01:34:19.000 And when we feel like fit because we've been exercising, that's when we can start waging the real war.

01:34:25.000 My point is, the reason why they believe that there's chemtrails is because there have been chemtrails.

01:34:31.000 There really have been.

01:34:32.000 The government has experimented.

01:34:33.000 I have no doubt.

01:34:34.000 I don't think they're doing it all the time, but it has happened.

01:34:36.000 Not only has it happened, but in certain states...

01:34:41.000 God, was it Georgia?

01:34:44.000 I forget what state it is.

01:34:45.000 Anyway, the point is that it's literally written into insurance laws.

01:34:51.000 There's things about chemicals spraying that you insure against them.

01:34:57.000 I believe I'm speaking out of hand right here because I don't know the exact details of it.

01:35:03.000 It seems a little blurry in my mind right now while I'm trying to pull it up.

01:35:06.000 But I remember whatever it was, this little piece of legislation, whether it was something about insurance or not, whatever it was, it was written down.

01:35:13.000 It was essentially saying that there will be weather-controlled experiments, that they will do something to alter the weather.

01:35:22.000 And we know that in Abu Dhabi, they made it rain 50 times last year.

01:35:27.000 Wow.

01:35:27.000 So they essentially made it rain once a week with a plane flying over.

01:35:32.000 I think it's aluminum oxide and barium or something.

01:35:34.000 I forget what it is that they spray into the air.

01:35:37.000 But they spray it, and somehow or another, it makes these clouds form, and it makes it makes rainfall in the desert in Abu Dhabi It's amazing.

01:35:45.000 I mean, it's incredible.

01:35:46.000 So if we know that they're doing that...

01:35:48.000 Well, they gave people...

01:35:48.000 They didn't just learn how to do it over there, is my point.

01:35:51.000 They probably practiced some shit here. 0.99

01:35:52.000 And they've probably been doing it here in small doses for a long time. 0.99

01:35:59.000 Pretty much anything that I found out about the government doing, I wouldn't be that surprised.

01:36:05.000 When you say syphilis, you're talking about Tuskegee?

01:36:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:09.000 They fucking blasted... 0.99

01:36:11.000 What is the exact details of that case? 1.00

01:36:12.000 They infected...

01:36:13.000 There's a bunch of black people, right? 0.99

01:36:14.000 God, I wish you hadn't asked me that.

01:36:15.000 I think what it was was they told some that they were being treated and they weren't being treated with any medication.

01:36:20.000 They lied to them to see the degenerative effects of the disease.

01:36:23.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:36:23.000 Dude, on the Century of the Self thing, they were interviewing the fucking main psychologist for the CIA during the 60s and the 70s, and he was just talking about all the shit they did with LSD experiments where they wipe people's pasts away. 0.94

01:36:37.000 They would blast you on acid and give you electroshock therapy. 0.99

01:36:40.000 To try to fucking erase your personality? 1.00

01:36:43.000 Like, they've done all kinds of crazy shit. 1.00

01:36:44.000 And they probably are continuing to do crazy shit. 1.00

01:36:47.000 And there's a really good chance that when you're driving through any public space, you're being bombarded with subliminal messages. 1.00

01:36:53.000 And all the billboards that you're seeing that are turning you into a fucking rabid consumer that only wants to eat and drink and doesn't ever want to think about anything more than getting a raise and getting drunk at night. 0.79

01:37:06.000 It may be that this is all intentional. 0.95

01:37:07.000 But what I'm saying is... 0.99

01:37:09.000 If you worry about that too much, then you're not going to do your dishes, and you're going to have roaches in your fucking apartment, and then you're going to start feeling depressed, and then you get really caught deep in the trap. 0.99

01:37:19.000 The first thing you have to do is, like, come to your senses. 0.99

01:37:23.000 That's the first thing, and the easiest way to come to your senses is to, like, stop taking the fucking, stop putting the pills in your mouth. 0.98

01:37:31.000 You know in, like, movies about mental asylums? 0.99

01:37:35.000 start putting the pills under his bed and have that little line of pills under his bed and all of a sudden he's come to his senses again and he can plan his escape but until you fucking stop taking the pills you can't plan your escape so it's like okay yeah maybe there's some fucked up shit happening in the world but you got to stop smoking maybe there's some fucked up shit happening in the world but you should run a few times a week 0.94

01:37:56.000 Maybe there's fucked up shit happening in the world, but you need to take a shower, brush your teeth, floss, get clean and healthy, and then when you have more of a clear head, then you can start making real moves and really analyzing what may be happening. 0.99

01:38:09.000 But until then, you're all foggy and fucked up. 0.99

01:38:11.000 When you see Michael Moore, don't you want to go, dude, forget about the government. 0.99

01:38:16.000 Take care of yourself, son. 1.00

01:38:18.000 You've got to deal with the fucking tyranny in yourself. 1.00

01:38:21.000 You've got to deal with the fucking demonic senators and congressmen inside of you that keep telling you to eat a fucking cheeseburger and a bag of Doritos before you go to bed. 1.00

01:38:29.000 Stop those fucking people first. 1.00

01:38:31.000 Veto their bills that are coming from inside your heart. 1.00

01:38:34.000 Is that a self-hate thing?

01:38:36.000 Is that an I don't care about my own safety thing?

01:38:38.000 It's just like I'm obsessed with my goals.

01:38:41.000 I'm obsessed with my interests.

01:38:43.000 I don't care about my own personal safety to the point where I'm just going to overfeed myself.

01:38:47.000 Yeah.

01:38:47.000 No rational thinking.

01:38:48.000 Just completely given to impulse.

01:38:51.000 I think what it is is it's like a literal rut.

01:38:55.000 It's like you've been going in this circle for so long that you can't get out.

01:38:58.000 You're like a truck whose wheels are stuck in the mud.

01:39:01.000 So you just are stuck in this endless pattern.

01:39:03.000 That's what we do.

01:39:03.000 Humans get stuck in patterns, you know?

01:39:05.000 Yeah, totally.

01:39:05.000 And so the idea is to get knocked.

01:39:07.000 You've got to knock yourself out of that pattern somehow.

01:39:09.000 And the quickest way to do that is with a psychedelic. 0.98

01:39:12.000 If you don't want to take a psychedelic, then just seriously start, I know this sounds super hippie, start fucking juicing. 0.97

01:39:19.000 Drink healthy. 0.99

01:39:20.000 Eat healthy.

01:39:21.000 Just eat healthy.

01:39:22.000 I don't care what you eat. 0.99

01:39:23.000 Eat fucking healthy. 1.00

01:39:24.000 Vitamix. 1.00

01:39:24.000 Don't drink juice. 1.00

01:39:25.000 Three days. 1.00

01:39:26.000 Vitamix is the shit. 1.00

01:39:27.000 Vitamix. 1.00

01:39:28.000 Vitamix is way better than juice.

01:39:29.000 You're doing that right now, right?

01:39:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:30.000 I got this fucking... 0.99

01:39:32.000 It's the best way to force yourself to eat a ton of vegetables, dude. 1.00

01:39:35.000 You just drink it.

01:39:36.000 You know, you think about how much I eat.

01:39:39.000 I have one big cucumber, like six stalks of celery, five big giant leaves of kale, and a big chunk of ginger, and a pear. 1.00

01:39:49.000 And I just blast all that shit. 0.99

01:39:51.000 There's no way I'm going to sit and eat all that. 1.00

01:39:52.000 Fuck the ginger, man. 1.00

01:39:54.000 I love ginger. 1.00

01:39:55.000 It's too spicy.

01:39:56.000 I like it.

01:39:56.000 You know what else you can throw in there that's good, man?

01:39:58.000 What? 1.00

01:39:58.000 Fucking jalapeno. 1.00

01:40:00.000 It's so fucking good. 1.00

01:40:01.000 I've been dropping jalapenos in the blender with almost everything I made. 0.99

01:40:05.000 I made a fucking chocolate mousse the other day in my blender. 0.99

01:40:08.000 With jalapenos? 1.00

01:40:08.000 When I threw a jalapeno in there. 1.00

01:40:10.000 Delicious.

01:40:11.000 Kind of like spicy chocolate.

01:40:13.000 Wow. 0.99

01:40:13.000 You can put it in fucking anything. 0.99

01:40:14.000 You can put it in like... 0.99

01:40:15.000 You can put...

01:40:16.000 Anyway.

01:40:17.000 Dude, you need a show on the food channel.

01:40:19.000 You can do anything with a jalapeno! 1.00

01:40:21.000 I put a jalapeno in my asshole today! 1.00

01:40:23.000 The chop, what is the slap chop? 1.00

01:40:25.000 You could be a slap chop with jalapenos and a slap chop. 1.00

01:40:29.000 I'd gladly do it.

01:40:30.000 You'd be like Duncan the jalapeno guy.

01:40:32.000 You could have a book.

01:40:33.000 I'm Duncan the jalapeno guy showing you.

01:40:35.000 You could put jalapenos in anything!

01:40:37.000 Will he put it in toothpaste? 0.97

01:40:39.000 He's crazy!

01:40:41.000 I put it in my baby's food. 0.88

01:40:42.000 It turns out that jalapenos inside toothpaste kills bacteria that he's in Listerine can't get to.

01:40:47.000 And this is like an ancient way that the Mayans used to clean their teeth.

01:40:50.000 They cheat on habanero peppers.

01:40:53.000 I love it.

01:40:53.000 I love them.

01:40:54.000 Imagine if that's true, if it kills all the poison.

01:40:57.000 Why, jalapenos?

01:40:57.000 Well, isn't that one of the things that Japanese people like to use wasabi with sushi?

01:41:03.000 Because wasabi apparently has an effect on any sort of bacteria.

01:41:07.000 I believe it. 0.99

01:41:07.000 Yeah, I mean, it's fucking blowtorch. 0.99

01:41:09.000 Shit's hardcore, man. 1.00

01:41:10.000 Yeah, snort wasabi. 1.00

01:41:10.000 Good luck. 1.00

01:41:11.000 I always fuck that up, too, man. 1.00

01:41:13.000 I always, always fuck. 1.00

01:41:14.000 Yeah, inevitably, I take like a giant bite, too. 1.00

01:41:17.000 I love it.

01:41:17.000 I love wasabi.

01:41:18.000 I ate a whole fucking jar of habanero salsa last night. 0.99

01:41:23.000 I had chips in this big jar of like... 1.00

01:41:25.000 From the moment I ate the first bite, I was like, God damn! 1.00

01:41:28.000 Damn, this shit is hot! 1.00

01:41:30.000 I couldn't stop. 1.00

01:41:31.000 I was sweating. 0.99

01:41:31.000 Do you never get fire shits or anything? 0.99

01:41:33.000 Oh, yeah, I do. 0.99

01:41:34.000 Of course.

01:41:34.000 So you just take it.

01:41:35.000 You're like, alright, I know I'm going to kill myself. 0.93

01:41:37.000 I take it, dude. 0.58

01:41:37.000 I get in a horse stance. 0.58

01:41:39.000 I ride over the bowl.

01:41:41.000 I'm just thinking, remember in the movie Kung Fu, when the flaming pot's in front of him, and one side has a dragon, and the other side has a tiger, and he picks up the pot with his forearms.

01:41:51.000 That's funny. 0.69

01:41:52.000 I don't think it's a coincidence that I have a tiger on one arm and a fucking dragon on the other and I was a fan of the Kung Fu show. 0.98

01:42:01.000 Well, well. 0.98

01:42:02.000 Well, well.

01:42:03.000 How about that?

01:42:04.000 Yeah. 0.57

01:42:04.000 See, it's like with I'm Gonna Get You Sucker, I stole that. 0.57

01:42:08.000 I stole that without even thinking about it. 0.80

01:42:10.000 It was an accident.

01:42:12.000 I'm just saying, man.

01:42:14.000 I'm admitting I stole my tattoos from Kung Fu.

01:42:17.000 But I think that's what the motivation was.

01:42:20.000 Well, it's a noble motivation.

01:42:24.000 You hate kung fu, right? 1.00

01:42:26.000 There's some kung fu guy who's mad at me.

01:42:29.000 He said that the guard is actually called Baby Monkey.

01:42:32.000 It's called Baby Monkey.

01:42:34.000 It's hilarious.

01:42:35.000 It's really funny.

01:42:36.000 Where do you find that?

01:42:37.000 Eddie Bravo sent it to me.

01:42:39.000 Eddie Bravo sent it to me. 0.99

01:42:40.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.98

01:42:42.000 You want to play it? 0.99

01:42:43.000 Alright. 0.98

01:42:44.000 I'll tell you what part it, because I tweeted it, what part the guy starts talking shit about me. 0.97

01:42:49.000 But he's one of those dudes, and this is the truth. 0.97

01:42:52.000 Listen, there's a lot of people that got upset at me because I said things about Kung Fu. 0.92

01:42:57.000 And there's a lot of people because I said Kung Fu is kind of bullshit, and a lot of it is just like a bunch of people practicing things. 0.95

01:43:03.000 If I come at you like this, what would happen? 0.99

01:43:05.000 I would move to the side and I would attack this way.

01:43:07.000 It's like a one step.

01:43:10.000 In Taekwondo, we used to have things called one steps.

01:43:13.000 And what it is is you would throw a kick and the other guy would counter.

01:43:17.000 And what it was is to imprint into your mind what to do once you start sparring.

01:43:22.000 And then eventually you start sparring.

01:43:23.000 But when you start sparring, that's when techniques really get weeded out, and that's when you understand what is the most effective use of energy and force, what techniques work the best, what techniques are really truly applicable, and what techniques are really kind of frivolous and a waste of time.

01:43:38.000 There's better alternatives.

01:43:39.000 Well, Kung Fu never did that.

01:43:41.000 They didn't have all the sparring.

01:43:42.000 They didn't have...

01:43:43.000 Kung Fu didn't, like, go and enter into an Ultimate Fighting Championship where it was public and everybody figured it out and it was spread out through the internet.

01:43:50.000 So there's debate amongst all the minds of different martial artists, whether they're kickboxers or wrestlers.

01:43:55.000 There is a genuine consensus when it comes to mixed martial arts.

01:43:59.000 And that genuine consensus is, here's the school...

01:44:02.000 Here's the group of effective techniques...

01:44:04.000 This is what actually works. 0.92

01:44:05.000 Yes, you can wheel kick someone in the face. 0.96

01:44:08.000 Absolutely. 0.98

01:44:08.000 It's difficult to pull off, but you can wheel kick someone in the face. 0.98

01:44:11.000 Can you monkey fist them on the nose? 0.99

01:44:13.000 You can, but that's not the best way to do it.

01:44:16.000 The best way to do it is to jab and then one-two. 0.84

01:44:18.000 What's a monkey fist?

01:44:20.000 Apparently there isn't a monkey fist.

01:44:22.000 Apparently I made it up.

01:44:23.000 Apparently, it's leopard fist.

01:44:25.000 The guy told me leopard fist.

01:44:27.000 There is no monkey fist.

01:44:28.000 You're right.

01:44:28.000 There is no monkey fist.

01:44:29.000 It's leopard fist.

01:44:30.000 But that's his style of kung fu.

01:44:32.000 Because these dudes also were angry at me. 0.89

01:44:35.000 He would talk, man, I hit you in the face with a monkey paw. 0.80

01:44:37.000 You're going to be upset. 0.92

01:44:38.000 So I'm like, so there's a monkey paw.

01:44:41.000 Then it must be real.

01:44:42.000 See?

01:44:42.000 In his style of martial arts, it's real.

01:44:45.000 But in this one kung fu guy, it's a leopard paw.

01:44:48.000 And that's the only technique that works. 0.99

01:44:50.000 I'm not saying that your shit won't work, and it's definitely better than knowing nothing at all. 0.99

01:44:53.000 But as far as is it the best thing to practice, no. 0.99

01:44:57.000 There might be some good benefit to it, but if you want to look at the real true evolution of martial arts, what is martial arts?

01:45:03.000 What a martial art is, is an art where you figure out what is the best way...

01:45:09.000 To attack and disable a trained killer.

01:45:13.000 That's what you want to be good at.

01:45:15.000 You want to be good at beating trained killers.

01:45:17.000 You don't want to be good at beating people who don't know what they're doing.

01:45:19.000 Because that's what a lot of people are doing.

01:45:21.000 What a lot of martial arts are, it's you're developing techniques that really will never work if you're fighting against Anderson Silva.

01:45:28.000 You're not going to get them off.

01:45:29.000 There is no best one.

01:45:30.000 The best one is all the effective techniques of all the martial arts.

01:45:33.000 It's takedowns from wrestling and judo, kicking from karate and Muay Thai, jiu-jitsu, submissions from judo and jiu-jitsu.

01:45:40.000 There's all these different things.

01:45:42.000 Leg locks from sambo.

01:45:44.000 It's all of these.

01:45:45.000 And you don't have to have – there's no correct combination of what to use.

01:45:49.000 Some guys only use a few of the components, but they have a very unusual physicality or they're very good at one of these aspects to the point where, especially like a stand-up fighter, like a guy like Anderson Silva, that's his number one specialty, stand-up.

01:46:00.000 And he's so good at it, every fight starts standing up, so he has an advantage.

01:46:03.000 At the beginning of every fight, he has an advantage.

01:46:06.000 And if you can get to that spot, you don't have to be the best wrestler.

01:46:10.000 Anderson's not taking people down.

01:46:11.000 I mean, I'm sure he could if he wanted to, but you very rarely see him taking people down.

01:46:15.000 He just blasts everybody.

01:46:17.000 So if you can get really good at certain aspects of it, there is no exact formula what to do.

01:46:22.000 But as far as techniques, there's a general consensus of techniques that work.

01:46:27.000 The basic kicks, front kicks and round kicks.

01:46:29.000 There's the crazy ones, axe kicks, wheel kicks.

01:46:31.000 All this stuff works.

01:46:32.000 But you know what doesn't work?

01:46:34.000 What doesn't work is crane techniques when you're standing.

01:46:37.000 I mean, it will work, but it's better to box. 0.88

01:46:40.000 It's better to curl your knuckles up and blast them in the face. 1.00

01:46:42.000 It's better to kick them. 1.00

01:46:44.000 You know? 0.99

01:46:44.000 And to kick them correctly, the best... 0.99

01:46:47.000 You've got to go to assert.

01:46:48.000 I'll tell you when to go.

01:46:49.000 I think it's two minutes and four seconds.

01:46:52.000 Joe Rogan...

01:46:53.000 Here.

01:46:54.000 ...works for MMA, say, Kung Fu use monkey fist nonsense martial arts.

01:47:00.000 Nonsense martial arts.

01:47:01.000 He's right.

01:47:03.000 There is no monkey fist.

01:47:05.000 There is a leopard fist, but there's no monkey fist.

01:47:10.000 But I understand.

01:47:11.000 Joe tried to say...

01:47:13.000 All Kung Fu is nonsense. 1.00

01:47:15.000 You're fucked, man. 1.00

01:47:16.000 Of course, I disagree. 1.00

01:47:19.000 The funny thing is, Joe used the word monkey to laugh and mocking Kung Fu.

01:47:25.000 He's reading lines.

01:47:26.000 Listen as Joe knows.

01:47:27.000 Yeah.

01:47:28.000 No one used the monkey technique more than the MMA. This leg wrapping.

01:47:36.000 This is called...

01:47:38.000 Baby monkey.

01:47:41.000 He's showing the guard.

01:47:44.000 You will see baby monkey wrap around the mommy monkey waistline at the back 65% of the time.

01:47:58.000 And that is exactly what MMA using the baby monkey 65% of the time inside the cage. 0.99

01:48:08.000 Now, who is the monkey here?

01:48:10.000 I have no problem with the word monkey.

01:48:14.000 As long as, it is a good technique like my monkey spinning arm lock.

01:48:20.000 Monkey spinning arm lock. 0.99

01:48:21.000 Watch this.

01:48:25.000 MMA fighters are strong and tough.

01:48:29.000 But don't be confused.

01:48:32.000 Just because they do full contact, Then, they must be real martial artists.

01:48:40.000 Do you think gangsters do full contact fighting?

01:48:44.000 Then, they must be all real martial artists?

01:48:48.000 Absolutely not.

01:48:50.000 Okay, hold on a second.

01:48:51.000 The difference between a street fighter...

01:48:53.000 I think we might be getting trolled.

01:48:55.000 That feels like a troll.

01:48:57.000 Yeah, as I'm watching this under the influence of the sacred plant, I'm like, this guy's obviously reading off of something.

01:49:02.000 Yeah, he's reading off to the side.

01:49:04.000 And when I'm listening to it, I'm like, this guy, it doesn't sound like it makes sense.

01:49:07.000 And then when he hits that arm bar, God, dude, he does that so slow.

01:49:10.000 That's a guy who's not a grappler at all.

01:49:12.000 He's not a grappler.

01:49:13.000 That guy doesn't know what he's doing.

01:49:14.000 Dude, one of the things was called Monkey Baby.

01:49:16.000 This is Monkey Baby Monkey.

01:49:18.000 It was awesome.

01:49:20.000 Well, that might be a technique.

01:49:21.000 It very well might be, but it also might be a troll.

01:49:24.000 Feels like a troll.

01:49:25.000 It feels totally like a troll. 1.00

01:49:27.000 That's why he mentioned my name, because he knows I'm stupid and I'd bite. 0.99

01:49:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:30.000 And I just went right after it. 0.99

01:49:31.000 It's pretty good. 1.00

01:49:32.000 He got me the fuck. 1.00

01:49:33.000 You and Sam Trippin. 1.00

01:49:34.000 Baby monkey.

01:49:36.000 It's pretty good work, man.

01:49:37.000 I want to see if I can get that for a license plate.

01:49:39.000 Baby monkey.

01:49:42.000 Baby monkey.

01:49:44.000 It's this technique.

01:49:45.000 It's called baby monkey.

01:49:47.000 It's brilliant.

01:49:47.000 Whoever did that, congratulations.

01:49:49.000 You did a good job.

01:49:50.000 Well done.

01:49:50.000 If it is real, sir, please come to 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu in Los Angeles and I'd love to try out your baby monkey.

01:49:57.000 See if I can pass your baby monkey. 1.00

01:49:59.000 I want to kiss your baby monkeys. 1.00

01:50:00.000 I bet I could pass your baby monkey. 0.60

01:50:01.000 I'm just saying right now.

01:50:02.000 I mean, I'm no killer.

01:50:03.000 I'm no Marcelo Garcia. 0.85

01:50:04.000 But I watched your role, and I'm pretty sure I could pass your baby monkey.

01:50:08.000 That's all I'm saying.

01:50:09.000 Challenge.

01:50:09.000 You try your baby monkey on me, man.

01:50:11.000 I'm gonna get side control. 0.93

01:50:12.000 I bet I'm gonna get side control. 0.99

01:50:13.000 Damn, this is hot. 1.00

01:50:14.000 I don't give a fuck, bro. 1.00

01:50:15.000 I don't give a fuck, dude. 1.00

01:50:16.000 That dude wants to try that wack-ass baby monkey on me? 1.00

01:50:19.000 I'll show him what's up. 1.00

01:50:20.000 Tenth Planet Jiu-Jitsu, bitch. 1.00

01:50:21.000 And you know the other thing, the music? 0.99

01:50:23.000 Like, if there was music playing during that video, Joe.

01:50:25.000 Well, here's my thing.

01:50:26.000 It's funny, but if he's serious, yeah, if he's serious, it's offensive to me.

01:50:30.000 Because, you know, if he's serious, I don't think he is.

01:50:33.000 But if he is serious, it's offensive to all martial arts because that guy doesn't know what he's doing.

01:50:36.000 The way he's hitting that arm bar, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

01:50:37.000 You'll never know.

01:50:39.000 He's hitting an arm bar, though.

01:50:40.000 The one thing, though, is he's hitting it like a kung fu guy because that's what the kung fu guys, that's what I have the problem with. 1.00

01:50:45.000 The kung fu guys react. 1.00

01:50:47.000 They do techniques.

01:50:48.000 They practice techniques as if the other person isn't going to react.

01:50:51.000 Like, they grab you, and then, you know, I pull you like this, and ha! 0.72

01:50:54.000 Attack the liver from this position! 0.99

01:50:56.000 And they have all this nonsense like, well, how do you know the guy's still going to be there? 1.00

01:50:59.000 I know you have a game plan, but it seems to me like you're getting way ahead of yourself here, stupid. 1.00

01:51:04.000 Dude, can I ask you a martial arts question? 1.00

01:51:07.000 Sure.

01:51:07.000 This happened a very long time ago.

01:51:09.000 I used to work at a summer camp, and they would have martial artists come every term to demonstrate martial arts to the kids.

01:51:19.000 He was just some guy from some local dojo or something. 1.00

01:51:23.000 And so he would get a kid, and he hit his fucking head, man. 0.99

01:51:26.000 He'd been shot like five times in the head. 0.99

01:51:29.000 He'd been in Vietnam. 1.00

01:51:30.000 He was a really intense fucking guy. 1.00

01:51:32.000 He'd been shot in the head? 1.00

01:51:33.000 Really?

01:51:33.000 Yeah, he had like bullet.

01:51:34.000 He took something to the head.

01:51:36.000 His head had like shrapnel.

01:51:37.000 Yeah, shrapnel. 0.56

01:51:38.000 So, yeah, shot in the head.

01:51:39.000 Probably not. 0.97

01:51:40.000 So, he'd bring a kid down.

01:51:44.000 And he'd do this thing where he held the kid's wrist. 0.92

01:51:47.000 And he'd slap him in the neck and knock the kid out.

01:51:49.000 And then, like, they'd get the kid to stand back up again. 0.99

01:51:52.000 And it was something I've always, like, from time to time wondered, like, what the fuck was that? 0.98

01:51:56.000 Is that real? 0.99

01:51:57.000 Well, how hard did he hit the kid?

01:51:59.000 Just like a slap, you know?

01:52:01.000 It's like it didn't seem...

01:52:01.000 Not really hard.

01:52:02.000 No. 1.00

01:52:02.000 Then it's bullshit. 1.00

01:52:03.000 So the kid was just like, what was that, hypnosis? 0.99

01:52:06.000 Yeah, it's a lot of it as a power of suggestion. 0.99

01:52:08.000 A lot of people, dude, and this is a very uncomfortable subject, I think a lot of people have very weak brains, just like some dudes have little dicks. 1.00

01:52:16.000 You know, you ever seen a guy in a movie and he has a little dick and you laugh? 1.00

01:52:19.000 It's so small you laugh? 1.00

01:52:22.000 There's people with little brains, too. 1.00

01:52:24.000 They have a little dick brain. 1.00

01:52:25.000 Oh, that's weird. 1.00

01:52:26.000 That's what it is. 1.00

01:52:26.000 Their brain just sucks. 1.00

01:52:28.000 That's fucked up. 1.00

01:52:29.000 Yeah, and that's why when you go to see... 0.99

01:52:31.000 Didn't you go with me to the Boston Comedy Connection?

01:52:34.000 Didn't you see the R-rated hypnotist with me?

01:52:36.000 No.

01:52:36.000 Ari went on stage.

01:52:38.000 No, I didn't see that.

01:52:38.000 You didn't see that?

01:52:38.000 I didn't see that.

01:52:39.000 Damn, I thought it was you. 0.99

01:52:41.000 Brian, was it you? 0.99

01:52:41.000 Were you there in the R-Rated Hypnotist? 0.99

01:52:43.000 No.

01:52:44.000 Must have been Joey. 1.00

01:52:45.000 What the fuck? 0.99

01:52:46.000 But, you know, when you watch an R-Rated Hypnotist show, rest in peace, Mr. Frank Santos, who is the guy that I'm discussing, a longtime friend, very hilarious R-Rated Hypnotist, but he would go on stage and he'd bring people and they would sit down and with the smallest amount of work, I mean, close your eyes, concentrate on what I'm going to say. 0.99

01:53:05.000 I'm going to concentrate on my breath.

01:53:06.000 Three, two, one.

01:53:08.000 When I hit one, you're going to think you're with Madonna.

01:53:11.000 Madonna. 0.99

01:53:12.000 Because back when Madonna was hot, Madonna's underneath you, and she's naked, and you're going to have your wee-wee inside of Madonna. 0.97

01:53:19.000 On the count of one. 0.96

01:53:20.000 On three, two, one.

01:53:22.000 Where are you, John?

01:53:24.000 You see this guy who is just a normal person.

01:53:27.000 It was just 15, 20 seconds ago.

01:53:29.000 He was just sitting there with his eyes closed. 0.99

01:53:31.000 And now, this guy really thinks he's fucking Madonna. 1.00

01:53:35.000 Watch the guy come in his pants. 1.00

01:53:37.000 I watched the guy cum in his pants. 1.00

01:53:39.000 Frank Santos told him to cum in his pants. 0.99

01:53:41.000 He's like, oh, you're not going to be able to hold it. 1.00

01:53:43.000 Are you going to cum? 0.99

01:53:43.000 Oh! 0.99

01:53:44.000 And the guy goes, oh! 1.00

01:53:45.000 The guy came in his fucking pants. 1.00

01:53:48.000 He was embarrassed. 1.00

01:53:49.000 It wasn't an act.

01:53:50.000 He wasn't an actor.

01:53:52.000 There's no way an actor could be that good.

01:53:55.000 I mean, there was the look of confusion on his face when Frank cleared him up and sent him out of it and went back to his friends. 0.99

01:54:03.000 You'd have to be a great actor to cum, to make yourself cum and cum. 0.99

01:54:06.000 Raffing at him. 1.00

01:54:07.000 And dude, you came in your fucking pants. 1.00

01:54:09.000 Everybody was going nuts. 1.00

01:54:11.000 He went back to sit with his group.

01:54:12.000 He didn't believe what had happened.

01:54:14.000 He was like, no, I knew what I was doing.

01:54:15.000 I wouldn't do it. 1.00

01:54:16.000 The fuck you did, dude? 1.00

01:54:18.000 Like, they go into this trance. 1.00

01:54:21.000 I don't know how it works.

01:54:22.000 It doesn't work on me.

01:54:23.000 I think that's part of what that kind of hypnotism is.

01:54:30.000 I mean, there's different kinds of hypnotism.

01:54:32.000 There's hypnotism where you can sit down and someone can put you in a very relaxed state where you are cleared of all your distractions and cleared of all your connections to the world and they talk you through this.

01:54:46.000 They talk you into a mindset where you're open to suggestion and where you're open to objectivity.

01:54:53.000 That's a type of hypnotism.

01:54:55.000 And it's a legitimate type of hypnotism.

01:54:57.000 And it does get you to a certain state.

01:54:59.000 But you're conscious of what's going on the whole time. 1.00

01:55:01.000 He's not getting you to suck his dick. 1.00

01:55:03.000 He's not telling you there's an elephant in the room that's going to cut your head off. 1.00

01:55:06.000 He's not freaking you out with bullshit and nonsense and trickery. 0.99

01:55:10.000 He's just kind of guiding your thought pattern. 0.98

01:55:12.000 But there's also...

01:55:15.000 that doesn't work on everybody, but it does work on dummies and that dummy hypnosis.

01:55:20.000 If you're a guy like Frank Santos, you can get people to think they're having sex with Madonna in a stage, on a stage in front of 300 strangers.

01:55:28.000 You really can do it.

01:55:29.000 I've seen it.

01:55:30.000 I don't understand it, but I don't understand people that are allergic to peanuts either.

01:55:33.000 I don't think the human body is, It's not uniform.

01:55:37.000 There's some people that have a weird glitch. 0.72

01:55:39.000 It's like some cell phones, you can fucking hack into them with somebody else's cell phone.

01:55:44.000 But see, here's the thing. 0.99

01:55:45.000 So if Frank Santos can make a man in Boston blast in his pants... 1.00

01:55:54.000 Think what the fucking CIA can do to you if they've been studying this shit for like 15 or 20 years. 1.00

01:56:01.000 You know the sacrifices they've made, too, in the name of progress when it comes to LSD. They dosed a whole fucking village in France, including women and children. 1.00

01:56:10.000 They dosed their bread. 1.00

01:56:12.000 You know about that story?

01:56:13.000 Nope. 0.55

01:56:13.000 The Freedom of Information Act, it was revealed like, I don't know, shit, I want to say 2009, but I don't remember when the exact date it was revealed. 0.55

01:56:21.000 But the CIA did a fucking LSD experiment in a small French town and dosed the entire town. 0.92

01:56:26.000 Here, I'll look it up. 0.99

01:56:27.000 CIA dosed French town acid. 0.99

01:56:32.000 Yeah, dude, they didn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:56:34.000 Here, the CIA dosed an entire village with LSD. Yep. 0.99

01:56:40.000 Incredible story.

01:56:42.000 Back in the 50s, an entire French village suddenly went mad. 0.96

01:56:45.000 It was not as previously thought due to an ergot, fungus contamination of the village baker's bread, Wow.

01:57:05.000 Wow. 0.98

01:57:06.000 And by the way, they're responsible for the fucking unibonomer. 0.99

01:57:09.000 Yeah, you told me about that. 0.99

01:57:11.000 Yeah, he was a part of the fucking LSD experiments at Harvard. 0.99

01:57:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:57:14.000 Gee, what a shocker.

01:57:16.000 You think there's a coincidence in that?

01:57:18.000 That one guy gets so crazy that he decides to make enough money as a mathematics professor to fund his...

01:57:24.000 Attack on all the technology of the world.

01:57:26.000 And the way he's going to do this is send bombs through the mail at people that are creating things.

01:57:30.000 Well, see, that's the thing.

01:57:30.000 That's why you have to begin to ask yourself, which components of my belief system are things that I've arrived to naturally from my observation of nature, and which parts of them are placed into me by a system designed to turn people into consumers?

01:57:48.000 And I think that more often or not, A greater percentage of your personality than you would like is not you at all. 0.69

01:57:56.000 It's a tapestry that's been cleverly woven by a system designed to make people feel totally normal, spending the majority of their lives driving in a commute and working in a shit job and being tired all the time.

01:58:11.000 First of all, let me just say that apparently this theory of the French town is also questioned. 0.75

01:58:17.000 Some people don't agree with it.

01:58:18.000 Some people don't think it's true. 1.00

01:58:20.000 Well, they were dosing fucking... 1.00

01:58:21.000 They were dosing soldiers. 1.00

01:58:23.000 They were dosing soldiers and they were dosing... 1.00

01:58:25.000 Whores were dropping it into their John's drinks. 1.00

01:58:28.000 That was a Rolling Stone article about it. 0.99

01:58:30.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:58:30.000 It was Operation...

01:58:31.000 What the fuck was it called? 0.99

01:58:33.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:58:33.000 Operation Midnight Climax. 0.99

01:58:34.000 That's what it's called. 1.00

01:58:35.000 The CIA ran a brothel in San Francisco and New York, and they dosed the Johns because they couldn't find any willing participants in their LSD studies because, unfortunately, they gave people Pepsi bottles full of shit and blew their fucking brains out. 0.99

01:58:49.000 They weren't sure of the dosage when they first started fucking around with LSD. They wanted to know what would happen. 0.99

01:58:55.000 We're going to do shots.

01:58:56.000 We're going to do whiskey, son.

01:58:58.000 Do a shot of whiskey, and you're actually doing a shot of acid.

01:59:00.000 Wow.

01:59:01.000 You know what McKenna described molecularly?

01:59:03.000 He said LSD has the power of an ant that could disassemble the entire Statue of Liberty in 30 minutes.

01:59:09.000 Wow.

01:59:10.000 Because that's molecularly.

01:59:11.000 That's crazy.

01:59:12.000 That's what it's like.

01:59:13.000 That's how strong acid is.

01:59:14.000 Oh, it's the best.

01:59:18.000 But imagine getting it in a town and you don't know you're having it.

01:59:21.000 For a lot of people that don't know, that's the number one theory of the Salem Witch Trials.

01:59:25.000 The Salem Witch Trials has to do with the first thing they were saying about, as previously thought, it was an ergot, fungus contamination of the village baker's bread.

01:59:33.000 Apparently what happens is, when you have a crop of wheat or whatever the fuck it is, any kind of grain, and it freezes, if they have a frost, and then it...

01:59:48.000 Yeah. 0.83

01:59:49.000 Like it fucks up the plant, and the plant gets contaminated sometimes by certain funguses.

01:59:53.000 And ergot, when it contaminated, they've done core samples of this point in time, you know, whenever the 1600s, whatever the Salem wish trials were.

02:00:04.000 And they found these late frosts that they think could have attributed to ergot infection.

02:00:09.000 And then they found evidence of ergot.

02:00:11.000 So they're pretty sure that when all these people went mad and crazy and they started burning women, they were whacked out on their bread.

02:00:20.000 And they thought that someone was poisoning them.

02:00:22.000 They really did think it was witchcraft. 0.95

02:00:24.000 Which makes much more sense Then, you know, like, it was just a religious thing.

02:00:29.000 It was just...

02:00:29.000 Which is possible.

02:00:31.000 I mean, we've seen horrible things done in the name of religion, but when there's a whole group of them and it's all in one area and all those other pieces are in place, there's a fucking psychedelic compound that makes you lose your marbles and it's in your bread? 0.93

02:00:42.000 Of course that's what happened. 0.93

02:00:43.000 I mean, it only makes sense.

02:00:45.000 Why does this one area think it's bewitched?

02:00:47.000 Because they were!

02:00:49.000 There was! 1.00

02:00:49.000 There was a fucking chemical bewitching. 1.00

02:00:51.000 You know, they just blamed it on the wrong people. 1.00

02:00:53.000 They didn't blame it on the bread.

02:00:56.000 Well, how would they know?

02:00:57.000 How would they know?

02:00:57.000 Yeah.

02:00:58.000 So these crazy assholes thought that these women were witches. 1.00

02:01:00.000 You know, they'd look at them all paranoid. 1.00

02:01:01.000 This fucking bitch is a witch. 1.00

02:01:02.000 He's doing this to me! 1.00

02:01:03.000 You know, really, I mean, he's seeing giant mice attacking him with invisible swords. 0.99

02:01:08.000 You know, he's seeing all kinds of crazy shit everywhere he goes. 0.99

02:01:11.000 It's really strange to think that books have been written about how to torture witches. 0.99

02:01:17.000 There's a book.

02:01:18.000 Have you ever heard of the Malleus Maleficarum?

02:01:20.000 Jesus, no.

02:01:21.000 Look that up.

02:01:22.000 The Hammer of...

02:01:22.000 What is it called?

02:01:23.000 It's called, I believe, the Malleus Maleficarum.

02:01:26.000 It's called the Hammer of the Witches. 0.99

02:01:28.000 Look that shit up. 0.99

02:01:29.000 It's how to like... 1.00

02:01:30.000 Maleficarum?

02:01:31.000 Yeah, I think it's Maleficarum.

02:01:32.000 I'm probably butchering the name, but if you put that in, you should find it.

02:01:35.000 And if that doesn't work, put it in... 0.98

02:01:37.000 Dude, fucking internet's amazing. 0.98

02:01:38.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

02:01:39.000 You just spelled the shit out of it and still found it. 0.91

02:01:41.000 The way to spell it correctly, folks, is the Malleus, M-A-L-L-E-U-S. Is that an L-L? Yeah. 0.91

02:01:47.000 Yeah.

02:01:47.000 L-L-E-U-S and Maleficarum is M-A-L-E-F-I-C-A-R-U-M. And just get an approximation on Google and it just finds it for you.

02:02:03.000 The Hammer of the Witches!

02:02:04.000 That's incredible.

02:02:05.000 It's a book that was written during the Inquisition.

02:02:09.000 Oh my god, it's available on Amazon.

02:02:12.000 God, I love the internet.

02:02:13.000 I'm gonna order that.

02:02:14.000 Watch this.

02:02:15.000 Watch this. 1.00

02:02:15.000 While we're doing the podcast, boom, bitches! 1.00

02:02:19.000 Ordered that shit, son. 1.00

02:02:21.000 1996! 1.00

02:02:22.000 Come on, how dope is that?

02:02:23.000 I just bought an awesome book.

02:02:24.000 After the witch trials, though, they still were eating the same bread, though.

02:02:31.000 Wouldn't they still be crazy?

02:02:33.000 You know, like, if that was true about the great...

02:02:35.000 No, because it didn't last for very long.

02:02:37.000 It's only for one season. 0.98

02:02:38.000 So, you know, for one season or whatever season that this happens where they get this grain and this grain is infected with the ergot, that's the season where everyone's jacked and fucked up. 0.82

02:02:47.000 But McKinnis' theory was, I think, more that it wasn't that these people were freaking out.

02:02:53.000 This isn't McKinnis' theory.

02:02:54.000 Oh, I know.

02:02:55.000 This is mainstream, like, I guess it was archaeologists.

02:02:58.000 Oh, no.

02:02:59.000 Who looks that...

02:03:00.000 Is that called archaeology when you only go back a couple hundred years?

02:03:02.000 History?

02:03:03.000 Historians?

02:03:03.000 Yeah, I think that could be archaeology.

02:03:05.000 I don't know.

02:03:06.000 I think there's a difference between historians and archaeologists.

02:03:08.000 I'd love to know.

02:03:09.000 But I've read McKenna talking about how...

02:03:15.000 Getting rid of the witches was part of the transformation into male-dominated culture.

02:03:23.000 The burning of the witches was a representation of the shift from, what is he, he has a great name for it, dominator culture or something, what does he call it?

02:03:30.000 Yeah, the shift from the...

02:03:32.000 He was from a maternal society. 0.92

02:03:35.000 Yeah, maternal, matriarchal, mushroom society to a patriarchy where the way that you taught people is through like the god of that society teaches people by beating the shit out of them and punishing them forever. 1.00

02:03:49.000 It's not the way that a mother is supposed to be. 1.00

02:03:52.000 And so the witch trials were the shift from one form of nature-based religion into a new form of religion where people started worshipping the invisible, like, freak, homophobic.

02:04:05.000 That could be possible, but the other finding, I think, was after...

02:04:10.000 I think it was even after McKenna was dead.

02:04:13.000 McKenna, I believe, died in 2001. I think they discovered this a little later.

02:04:18.000 So it's kind of clear evidence.

02:04:21.000 I think it's just combinations.

02:04:22.000 Yeah, it could be that too.

02:04:24.000 There were women back then who were practicing. 1.00

02:04:26.000 Right.

02:04:26.000 It could be they would have never killed the witches if it was like a balanced society.

02:04:30.000 They would have just gone, oh, you're a fucking witch. 1.00

02:04:32.000 Oh, no, you're not. 1.00

02:04:32.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:04:33.000 I was on acid or something. 1.00

02:04:34.000 You know, they wouldn't like get together with pitchforks and fucking torches. 0.99

02:04:37.000 Maybe it could be they were already pissed off at chicks. 1.00

02:04:40.000 And then when they got on the acid or the ergot, rather, they'd be like, well, this is a fucking, this is a perfect time to kill all these bitches. 1.00

02:04:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:04:46.000 You know, it could be that. 1.00

02:04:47.000 This is the last straw.

02:04:49.000 Well, you know, it's a weird thing, man, when, you know, the whole idea of happiness and pleasure is a lot of it revolves around people wanting to be around you.

02:04:58.000 And a lot of it revolves around the opposite sex wanting to be around you. 0.95

02:05:02.000 And for most of us, you know, look, the reality is most of us are not that attractive.

02:05:07.000 You know, there's not that many people that are, like, really attracted to you.

02:05:11.000 And for a lot of people, their life is a constant series of rejections, and especially for women. 0.99

02:05:16.000 Guys, they're dumpy, they have no self-esteem, they get a couple drinks in them, and they're Hey, you think maybe I could fucking get some of that ass? 0.99

02:05:25.000 They like say something awful knowing, you know, like really it's just like a lack of confidence. 0.99

02:05:31.000 Like people would say that they're a dickhead, but really a lot of it is like a preemptive attack because you think eventually this person's going to destroy your soul because that's your experience with relationships. 0.89

02:05:40.000 That's your experience with interacting with women. 1.00

02:05:42.000 Every time you've attempted to interact with women, they've let you know that you're repulsive. 1.00

02:05:46.000 Ew! 0.99

02:05:47.000 Ew! 0.98

02:05:48.000 Ugh! 0.97

02:05:50.000 No, thank you.

02:05:52.000 Ew, get away. 0.97

02:05:53.000 And that programming just enters into this guy's definition of what a woman is, of who you are.

02:06:00.000 You're the person who brings the bad feelings.

02:06:02.000 You're the person who brings this horrible, horrible feeling.

02:06:05.000 Sure, right, right, right.

02:06:05.000 So you get a few drinks in there.

02:06:06.000 Some Pavlovian response to women where you're pissed and you're fucking all of a sudden you're like using tricks from the game to try to say shitty things to girls to like discombobulate them and somehow like trick them into fucking you instead of just getting them to have sex with you because they like you because you're a good person. 1.00

02:06:25.000 You're fucking cool. 0.99

02:06:25.000 Well, I don't think people can realize that. 0.99

02:06:27.000 And part of the reason why people can't realize that is because people are selfish.

02:06:30.000 You know, I have a friend, and he will remain nameless, but we had a conversation where he was getting dumped, and he was super upset about it, and he didn't know how to deal with it, and he was asking me for advice.

02:06:41.000 And I said, do you love this girl?

02:06:42.000 And he said, yes.

02:06:43.000 And I said, well, if you love her, you should want her to be happy.

02:06:46.000 And if her being happy means her being with another man or another person, you should respect that and you should love her still.

02:06:53.000 I go, this is just a human being and people break up and I don't hate everyone I used to date.

02:06:58.000 In fact, with time, I love all of them.

02:07:01.000 Even the ones that I didn't get along with, man.

02:07:03.000 When I look back on every single girl that I ever dated, I swear to God, I only...

02:07:08.000 We'll allow the positive thing.

02:07:10.000 I have some negative stories that are really funny, but in my mind, when I'm thinking about that person, I only think about them when I love them.

02:07:17.000 I only think about them, no matter what went wrong, no matter what horrible thing was said that made the whole thing fall apart, I refuse to define them by that, and I instead define them by their potential, by what they meant to me when they were at their best.

02:07:35.000 But it's really fucking hard to teach people that, man.

02:07:38.000 It's really hard to over and over again realize when you fall face first into the fucking dirt that you're thinking is incorrect and that it's not empowering and you're not helping yourself or anyone else and in fact you're devaluing yourself into this person's eyes because you become desperate and you have no personal sovereignty. 0.98

02:07:55.000 That's right. 0.98

02:07:56.000 A man that can't be without a woman when a woman doesn't want to be with a man is a repulsive thing. 0.98

02:08:01.000 We've all seen it, man.

02:08:02.000 It was an episode of Fear Factor we had this week where there was this poor guy and his wife didn't want to have nothing to do with him anymore. 0.99

02:08:07.000 They divorced and she was fucking, you know, just living her life and they were still connected because they had a kid together and she would just mock him openly and publicly and she had no desire to fuck him again. 0.99

02:08:18.000 She was just ready to make fun of him and it hurts. 1.00

02:08:21.000 It hurts watching it, man. 1.00

02:08:22.000 It hurts your fucking soul. 1.00

02:08:23.000 It cuts into you. 1.00

02:08:24.000 You see it and you go, this poor fuck. 1.00

02:08:26.000 He doesn't even know. 1.00

02:08:27.000 He's just trapped in this horrible pattern.

02:08:29.000 And this person has become a drug dispenser.

02:08:32.000 A negative downer drug.

02:08:33.000 This person gives them a depressing drug every time they see them.

02:08:36.000 It's crazy.

02:08:37.000 It's amazing.

02:08:38.000 Yeah, the Bonds of Maya. 0.88

02:08:40.000 That's one name for it.

02:08:41.000 Or you get entangled in the illusory aspect of the universe and you don't even realize it. 0.98

02:08:46.000 And then you're just fucking in pain. 0.98

02:08:47.000 But you're the reason you're in pain. 1.00

02:08:49.000 It's so sad.

02:08:51.000 But it's real.

02:08:52.000 And it's like...

02:08:53.000 And it's a plague.

02:08:56.000 But it's also kind of cool, man.

02:08:58.000 Those kinds of prisons, thought prisons, are the best prisons to get into because you have the key.

02:09:03.000 You can get out.

02:09:03.000 It's so hard to get out of it, though.

02:09:04.000 But one of the things is you can't be selfish.

02:09:07.000 Because if you are selfish, you always want that person to be with you.

02:09:10.000 And this is what I was saying to my friend.

02:09:11.000 I was like, dude, she does not want to be with you.

02:09:14.000 You have to accept that.

02:09:15.000 You have to accept that this is a human being.

02:09:18.000 and if you love this human being, you should want this human being to be happy.

02:09:21.000 Absolutely.

02:09:22.000 And your definition of love is you only love this human being if this human being provides you with the sex drug, provides you with the sex chemical.

02:09:31.000 You can't just accept the fact that she wants the sex drug from someone different. 1.00

02:09:35.000 Her genes are compelled to fuck someone different than you. 1.00

02:09:40.000 And whether it's because you have personality shortcomings or physical shortcomings, it's not her responsibility. 0.99

02:09:46.000 Her responsibility is to go towards what she enjoys and what she's attracted to.

02:09:50.000 But we are so selfish that no one ever thinks that way.

02:09:54.000 But also, man, aside from letting someone have a happy life and not trying to manipulate or control them into being stuck with you, the other thing is it's so much better for you to be with someone who really likes you. 1.00

02:10:05.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:10:06.000 My God, the guys who want to change a chick. 1.00

02:10:09.000 You grow to love me.

02:10:10.000 My God, dude. 1.00

02:10:12.000 Some savage is gonna come along and fuck her in a laundromat, okay? 1.00

02:10:15.000 That's gonna happen. 1.00

02:10:16.000 You can't.

02:10:17.000 Everyone needs to be extremely attracted to each other.

02:10:21.000 Everyone needs to be extremely, whether it's just attracted to each other's minds, which is personality, whether it's physical, whatever it is, there has to be a real...

02:10:30.000 A connection.

02:10:30.000 Because if there's not, if you don't have that, one of two things is happening.

02:10:34.000 Either you're not putting that out enough, you're not a dynamic enough human, Both with your consciousness or with your objectivity or with your love or with your affection or with your generosity.

02:10:46.000 You're not putting out enough.

02:10:47.000 Not working.

02:10:48.000 And if you're not putting that out enough, people don't want to give it back to you.

02:10:50.000 So this beautiful, attractive, healthy, vibrant, generous, loving person won't be attracted to you because you don't want to enhance them.

02:11:00.000 You want to draw and take away from them.

02:11:01.000 And so you rely on wounded animals.

02:11:04.000 And it's just one more wounded animal after another wounded animal.

02:11:07.000 And that's all you ever get.

02:11:08.000 Because that's all you're attracting. 1.00

02:11:10.000 You're attracting wounded animals because those are the only ones that are stupid enough to fucking fall into your web. 1.00

02:11:15.000 Yeah, that's true, man. 1.00

02:11:17.000 And also a lot of those systems, the pickup systems, are designed to trap wounded animals.

02:11:21.000 Sure, exactly.

02:11:22.000 So it's like really...

02:11:23.000 You just prey on the vulnerable.

02:11:24.000 And it's only because of the value of sexuality.

02:11:28.000 It's a value.

02:11:29.000 It's very important.

02:11:31.000 You need it.

02:11:32.000 It will make you feel better.

02:11:33.000 You know it will.

02:11:34.000 It's your medicine.

02:11:35.000 You've got to go, you know...

02:11:37.000 Yeah, but, you know...

02:11:38.000 Let's get it on.

02:11:40.000 Like Marvin Gaye's son.

02:11:41.000 I'm your medicine.

02:11:42.000 Open up and let me in. 1.00

02:11:44.000 It is a fucking drug, man. 1.00

02:11:45.000 Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate. 1.00

02:11:48.000 Boom! 0.99

02:11:49.000 Boom.

02:11:49.000 Get up.

02:11:51.000 Let's make love tonight.

02:11:53.000 Wake up, wake up.

02:11:55.000 Cause you do it right. 1.00

02:11:56.000 That guy was a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00

02:11:58.000 He's such a bad motherfucker, his dad shot him. 1.00

02:12:00.000 His dad couldn't deal with his son just massively eclipsing him in every possible way as a human. 1.00

02:12:06.000 His dad was just a regular guy.

02:12:08.000 Who's Marvin Gaye? 1.00

02:12:09.000 Marvin Gaye's a motherfucking dick-slinging superstar with a voice that came from angels. 1.00

02:12:14.000 Okay? 1.00

02:12:14.000 And who are you? 1.00

02:12:15.000 Oh, you're the guy who fucked his mom. 1.00

02:12:17.000 Get in line, bitch. 1.00

02:12:18.000 You're just a normal dude. 1.00

02:12:20.000 You ain't nothing special compared to Marvin motherfucking Gaye. 1.00

02:12:23.000 You're a regular guy and you made a son that's a bitch! 1.00

02:12:25.000 Bad motherfucker! 1.00

02:12:27.000 You made a song that his songs, they play them without the words in elevators, and people sing along to the Muzak. 1.00

02:12:35.000 His fucking songs are so good that when you're in an elevator and a Muzak version of Let's Get It On comes on, you can hear him singing, Oh, let's get it on. 0.98

02:12:46.000 You can hear it. 1.00

02:12:47.000 You can hear it. 1.00

02:12:49.000 He's a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00

02:12:50.000 He imprinted the consciousness, and this guy couldn't deal with it, so he shot his own son. 1.00

02:12:54.000 Woo! 1.00

02:12:55.000 That sucks. 0.99

02:12:56.000 He didn't want to play the game, so he picked up the board and he threw it away. 0.99

02:13:00.000 Yeah, well...

02:13:00.000 Couldn't win.

02:13:01.000 Couldn't win the game.

02:13:02.000 Unplugged it. 1.00

02:13:04.000 He unplugged the fucking Xbox. 1.00

02:13:06.000 Can you imagine shooting your own kid? 1.00

02:13:07.000 Oh my god. 0.97

02:13:08.000 I don't care what he did. 1.00

02:13:10.000 Someone fucked up. 0.99

02:13:11.000 It has to be you, too. 1.00

02:13:12.000 Unless your kid's a murderer. 1.00

02:13:13.000 Unless your kid's coming at you with a fucking sword and trying to... 1.00

02:13:15.000 You know, he's on PCP. Yeah, okay, I get it. 1.00

02:13:18.000 You gotta do what you gotta do.

02:13:19.000 And he shouldn't...

02:13:20.000 You know, he's a threat to the public. 1.00

02:13:21.000 But killing your own kid makes you automatically a fucking idiot, right? 1.00

02:13:24.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:13:25.000 Yeah, something happened. 0.91

02:13:26.000 Which is why it's fucking weird, the story of Jesus. 1.00

02:13:29.000 It's like you're gonna send your fucking kid down to a planet, a savage fucking... 1.00

02:13:32.000 But you don't understand. 1.00

02:13:33.000 He died for our sins.

02:13:35.000 Oh! 0.60

02:13:36.000 Did you know that?

02:13:37.000 Oh, no, I didn't.

02:13:38.000 But somehow or another we could still sin.

02:13:39.000 But we get forgiven if we tell him.

02:13:42.000 If we embrace him, then you get forgiven.

02:13:45.000 You're allowed to still sin. 1.00

02:13:46.000 You could totally fuck up. 0.99

02:13:47.000 But at the end, you have to really realize and really embrace Jesus as your God. 1.00

02:13:52.000 Joe, what are you saying?

02:13:53.000 But once you do that, it's like a scape clause. 0.95

02:13:56.000 It's like some corporations don't have to pay any taxes at all, and they can just fuck everybody over and make trillions and trillions of dollars. 0.97

02:14:01.000 Yes, they're wonderful. 0.65

02:14:01.000 What kind of loophole is that? 0.65

02:14:03.000 That's ridiculous. 0.95

02:14:03.000 Well, they just have to pay the right politicians. 0.95

02:14:05.000 And this loophole, the death loophole, is you can just fucking rape and pillage your whole life. 1.00

02:14:09.000 Love it. 1.00

02:14:09.000 But if you find Christianity at the end, like General Butt Naked from Liberia, you know that story? 1.00

02:14:15.000 Yes.

02:14:15.000 Shane Smith, he had us on the podcast.

02:14:17.000 The guy's directly responsible for the death of thousands of people.

02:14:20.000 Thousands of people. 0.65

02:14:21.000 And he killed babies and ate their hearts. 0.69

02:14:24.000 Ate their still-beating hearts. 1.00

02:14:26.000 And he's a Christian.

02:14:27.000 And because he's a Christian, they didn't even prosecute him.

02:14:29.000 Praise God.

02:14:30.000 How amazing is that?

02:14:30.000 Praise God.

02:14:31.000 God's so beautiful, God is going to put him in heaven.

02:14:34.000 But not like a regular person who's born in the jungle of Brazil and is good his whole life and only does good for his tribe and his family and has great respect for the earth.

02:14:46.000 That guy's going straight to hell.

02:14:48.000 Oh, the earth? 1.00

02:14:48.000 That cunt face. 1.00

02:14:49.000 Respect for the earth? 1.00

02:14:50.000 I don't respect the earth. 1.00

02:14:51.000 Indigenous douchebag is going right to the fucking oven. 1.00

02:14:53.000 Dude, do you know about dispensations? 1.00

02:14:56.000 I believe they're called dispensations.

02:14:58.000 Do you know about this?

02:14:59.000 No, what is it?

02:14:59.000 I may be saying the word wrong, but it used to be able to buy from the Catholic Church Oh, yes.

02:15:05.000 Bishops used to be able to do that.

02:15:06.000 Yeah, you could buy, like, you could save yourself.

02:15:09.000 You could buy, like, no matter what, you're going to heaven.

02:15:11.000 Like, I gave you this much money, so I'm set.

02:15:13.000 Like, here's, like, you know, whatever, 200,000 bucks.

02:15:17.000 I'm cool, right?

02:15:17.000 No matter what I do for the rest of my life, I'm still going to heaven.

02:15:20.000 Like, yeah, you're fine.

02:15:21.000 You gave enough money.

02:15:22.000 Now you're fine.

02:15:24.000 That's hilarious.

02:15:24.000 That's amazing.

02:15:26.000 That's brilliant.

02:15:26.000 Like, the Catholic Church, you know how funny that is to, like, come up with a trick like that?

02:15:30.000 When you start realizing, like, wait a minute.

02:15:31.000 I can just write down on paper that people are going to an imaginary place forever, and they'll give me thousands and thousands of dollars in gold and diamonds.

02:15:39.000 That's incredible.

02:15:40.000 It's incredible.

02:15:40.000 It's kind of like talking seriously about the tooth fairy.

02:15:44.000 If we were having a conversation about the tooth fairy, it's like a serious story.

02:15:47.000 People are willing to die for that tooth fairy. 0.97

02:15:49.000 They're willing to kill you for degrading that tooth fairy. 1.00

02:15:52.000 And to ruin their lives. 0.99

02:15:54.000 They're willing to not use birth control. 0.99

02:15:58.000 They're willing to not wear condoms and fucking bring kids into the world that they didn't even want to have for that tooth fairy. 1.00

02:16:04.000 They're willing to do a lot of crazy shit for that tooth fairy. 1.00

02:16:07.000 And there's a wide spectrum of crazy, and it varies from... 1.00

02:16:10.000 Town to town, church cult to church cult.

02:16:13.000 I think there's something that's an actual...

02:16:18.000 I think there really is a... 0.99

02:16:20.000 I don't know what you call it, but I do think there's a super consciousness you can tune into that will give you some direction, and the directions usually don't be an asshole. 0.98

02:16:28.000 Well, that's why I was saying that the morality of the universe would tell you that you're not allowed to spray pepper spray in the face of kneeling children. 1.00

02:16:35.000 Oh, yes.

02:16:36.000 The morality of the universe would say these are peaceful people.

02:16:39.000 You have no right to do anything to harm them.

02:16:41.000 They have a legitimate gripe and concern.

02:16:43.000 Whether they're handling it the correct way is debatable, but the morality of the universe, the true knowledge of what is right and wrong, it's like instinctively, instantly you realize that's an evil task. 1.00

02:16:55.000 And if that was your little girl, that's your 18-year-old girl, idealistic, first year in college, and this asshole is spraying her in the face with pepper spray, you'd want to beat his brain flat. 1.00

02:17:06.000 He deserves it. 1.00

02:17:07.000 You'd want to beat him to death. 1.00

02:17:08.000 If I saw that guy spray my baby in the face, I would not be able to help myself. 0.99

02:17:15.000 If there was cars in the way, if there was cops in the way, I would have tried physically to get my hands on him.

02:17:21.000 I would have to.

02:17:22.000 I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

02:17:24.000 It would be like a murderous, animal-like rampage.

02:17:29.000 You would feel it from the bottom of your DNA that you would have to stop this person from doing that. 0.99

02:17:35.000 Meanwhile, this guy's doing it because somebody wrote some shit down on a piece of paper. 0.99

02:17:38.000 That's a detachment, man. 0.99

02:17:40.000 That's a detachment from the things that you do and the impact those things have. 0.99

02:17:44.000 And you could say, followed by the word of the law, and you could say, well, if those fucking hippies weren't there, they wouldn't have a problem. 0.98

02:17:51.000 And while all these things are correct, that's not the real issue. 0.98

02:17:54.000 The real issue is there's a detachment from the things we do and the effect those things have.

02:18:00.000 And that detachment is due to a lack of sensitivity, which I think can be attributed to several things. 0.90

02:18:06.000 And a lot of it has contributed to awareness and our focus on awareness, whether it's through yoga, whether it's through meditation, whether it's through isolation tanks, whether it's through psychedelics, whether it's through long walks where you sit by yourself alone in the park and you do an audit of your day and an audit of your true, honest thoughts and try to be fucking real with yourself, man. 0.76

02:18:26.000 And don't bullshit yourself so you can sleep better at night and think that you're doing the right thing every time.

02:18:30.000 And all you would have to do is apply those ideas to life And everyone would be fine. 0.69

02:18:37.000 Everyone would be fine.

02:18:38.000 No one would ever start on just wars.

02:18:40.000 They would realize you can profit anyway. 1.00

02:18:42.000 There's always going to be assholes out there. 1.00

02:18:44.000 You can profit on fucking tanks, and you can profit on jets. 1.00

02:18:47.000 We need those. 1.00

02:18:48.000 Yeah, we do need those.

02:18:48.000 But we don't need that many, and we don't need them everywhere.

02:18:51.000 We don't need a military presence in over 100 different fucking countries. 0.98

02:18:54.000 We've gotten completely out of hand. 0.99

02:18:56.000 Those people making jets and making bombs and making guns, I'm 100% pro-gun.

02:19:00.000 I have guns.

02:19:01.000 Oh, me too.

02:19:02.000 And I think that you should be allowed to have guns.

02:19:03.000 Absolutely.

02:19:04.000 And I'm pro-hunting, and I'm pro-trapping. 1.00

02:19:06.000 I'm pro all that shit, man. 1.00

02:19:08.000 I believe in the Second Amendment. 1.00

02:19:09.000 Fully, strongly support your right.

02:19:11.000 Yeah, me too.

02:19:12.000 But I think...

02:19:14.000 I just think we're at a stage right now where people are starting to realize that the stuff that's written down on paper is not necessarily serving the human beings that it's supposed to represent.

02:19:25.000 That's right.

02:19:26.000 And we just, because it's written down on paper and because a bunch of people say it's written down on paper, we are supposed to abide by it.

02:19:32.000 We're supposed to deal with it.

02:19:33.000 We're supposed to allow that cop to spray the chemical in the kid's face and not get beaten up and immediately thrown in jail like he should be, like your instincts would be, if any civilian did it.

02:19:43.000 And that's our real issue.

02:19:44.000 Our real issue is we are operating under an archaic society.

02:19:48.000 We're using the wrong map.

02:19:49.000 Yes.

02:19:50.000 We're using an old shitty map that worked at a different kind of terrain.

02:19:53.000 The terrain has changed now.

02:19:54.000 We need some new maps.

02:19:56.000 People have got to come up with new maps. 0.82

02:19:58.000 You don't just get the fucking luxury of using an ancient, withered old map. 0.89

02:20:01.000 map, whatever the fuck the map is, whether the map is your Bible or whether the map is the current version of the Constitution with all the amendments or whether the map, whatever it is, it's time to start making new maps based on the fact that we're now And when you see things like this new bill that's passed that turns America into a battleground and empowers the military to come in and arrest civilians who are being disorderly and arrest anyone who is a threat and detain them, anyone who they deem a threat. 0.97

02:20:30.000 That is all the evidence that you need to know that it's over.

02:20:34.000 That is the monsters clawing at the head of the gravestone as it pulls them underground.

02:20:40.000 As the earth sucks them into its core, the monsters are clawing.

02:20:45.000 Ah!

02:20:46.000 As they're dragged down.

02:20:47.000 They are trying as hard as possible to gain ground.

02:20:50.000 And one way they're going to do it is completely violate the Bill of Rights.

02:20:53.000 One way they're going to do it is to make the Constitution invalid.

02:20:56.000 And that's what they're doing.

02:20:57.000 And they're doing it under the guise of patriotism and protection. 0.99

02:21:01.000 And you're like, protection from what, you fucks? 0.95

02:21:05.000 But see, that's why what has to happen is people need to start continuing to take like the action they're taking with Occupy Wall Street. 0.99

02:21:13.000 But we need a fucking super genius or a group of super geniuses or a collective of people to come up with a new map for how this shit should be working. 0.98

02:21:23.000 You know what I'm starting to think? 1.00

02:21:24.000 What?

02:21:24.000 This is what I'm starting to think is going to happen.

02:21:26.000 I used to think that there's going to be some sort of a violent upheaval.

02:21:29.000 There's going to be real problems.

02:21:31.000 I think that there's going to be people on the Occupy side that are far too intelligent to be ignored and that eventually they're going to figure out some vulnerabilities to the system and then they're going to have some power.

02:21:43.000 And once they have some power, then people are going to talk and then they're going to have to work something out and change some laws and change some rules.

02:21:49.000 Because until there's some sort of a threat from the other side, you know, and it doesn't have to be a violent threat. 0.66

02:21:53.000 It could simply be some fucking computer geniuses who know how to rework everything, who know how to shut down the fucking internet, who know how to make things invalid and unfunctional. 0.96

02:22:02.000 It could be people who know how to manipulate money through the internet. 1.00

02:22:07.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.97

02:22:07.000 I mean, it's going to be deemed a terrorist act, whatever it is. 0.97

02:22:11.000 I mean, that's really what, by the Patriot Act, anything you're doing to attack the government now is like a terrorist act, right?

02:22:19.000 I bet me even suggesting that someone may try to do this makes you under suspicion.

02:22:24.000 You extrapolating and looking at history and you looking at human behavior and you looking at the situation knowing that it's going to escalate.

02:22:30.000 Well, what could happen?

02:22:31.000 I think someone's going to figure out a way to have some power over the occupiers.

02:22:35.000 But saying that, by saying that, it's almost like I'm cheerleading.

02:22:38.000 Like, I can become an enemy by saying that, which is amazing.

02:22:41.000 You've...

02:22:42.000 I'd say you're a little...

02:22:43.000 This is Orwell.

02:22:44.000 This is Orwellian.

02:22:45.000 It really is. 0.99

02:22:45.000 I mean, it's amazing that life is now more fucked up than fiction. 0.99

02:22:50.000 Or fucking people come out, you know, like the people who are looking under their car because they've got a flat tire, and they're like, hey, what's that fucking box there? 0.99

02:22:56.000 and they pull the box out from under their car and it's some kind of magnetic bug that some people stuck on their car in the middle of the night. 0.99

02:23:03.000 Tracking them everywhere they go.

02:23:03.000 And then they come and get it.

02:23:05.000 Then they come and collect it.

02:23:06.000 You know, like that guy who popped it on.

02:23:07.000 That's so old school nowadays. 0.99

02:23:08.000 How about this Carrier IQ shit, Brian? 1.00

02:23:10.000 You just sent me an update on this Carrier IQ. 1.00

02:23:12.000 What was the update again? 0.98

02:23:13.000 Well, they say that the FBI will not release any records on this Carrier IQ shit. 0.99

02:23:17.000 Yeah, they won't comment on it. 0.96

02:23:18.000 I mean, like the guys from the company are talking, saying that they've never given their information to the FBI.

02:23:28.000 Right, but the FBI will not comment whatsoever, and they refuse Freedom of Information Act requests.

02:23:33.000 Yeah, right, because it's an ongoing investigation, that's what they're saying. 0.97

02:23:36.000 Because they don't have, they have fucking power. 0.99

02:23:38.000 There's so much power. 1.00

02:23:39.000 Yeah.

02:23:39.000 There's so much power.

02:23:40.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.99

02:23:41.000 Carry your IQ. And you know, the best way to abuse power is to say that we're doing it for your own good. 0.99

02:23:45.000 We're doing it for your own good.

02:23:46.000 You trust us.

02:23:46.000 Listen, we need this power in order to get the bad people.

02:23:50.000 We know you're a good person.

02:23:51.000 Trust us.

02:23:52.000 We just need this little provision.

02:23:53.000 We gotta do it.

02:23:54.000 We gotta do it.

02:23:55.000 What's a terrorist exactly?

02:23:56.000 Oh, some guy who sells 20 joints, Newt Gingrich?

02:23:58.000 Yeah.

02:23:58.000 Is it 200 joints?

02:23:59.000 Yeah.

02:23:59.000 Oh, 200 doses.

02:24:00.000 He's a terrorist and he should be put to death. 1.00

02:24:02.000 Yeah, someone who grows plants. 1.00

02:24:03.000 These are the fucks that want to run our world, man. 1.00

02:24:07.000 Really? 0.99

02:24:08.000 That's why we need that Ron Paul guy, even though he doesn't believe in evolution.

02:24:11.000 I've heard some...

02:24:12.000 The problem with... 0.97

02:24:12.000 I mean, I talked about this on the Lavender Hour about Ron Paul, and we got some people writing in that, like, shit that I didn't investigate fully. 0.97

02:24:19.000 I like... 0.94

02:24:20.000 I said I like...

02:24:21.000 What didn't you investigate with those issues?

02:24:22.000 Something about how he would get rid of the highway systems or something.

02:24:26.000 Like, he doesn't want to support, like...

02:24:28.000 He must go back to buggies.

02:24:29.000 No, it's not back to buggies.

02:24:32.000 Horse riding.

02:24:33.000 He wants to go back to...

02:24:33.000 No, it's some kind of thing.

02:24:34.000 There was a few things that were a little...

02:24:37.000 that I didn't know.

02:24:39.000 Because I really love the guy.

02:24:41.000 What are the...

02:24:42.000 You're going to need to be more specific.

02:24:43.000 That's the problem.

02:24:44.000 I meant to go and investigate.

02:24:45.000 So you got upset at something that you don't remember?

02:24:47.000 No, I remember.

02:24:48.000 They said Ron Paul would somehow get rid of the interstate system.

02:24:51.000 Okay, Ron Paul interstate system.

02:24:53.000 I couldn't find it.

02:24:54.000 You couldn't?

02:24:55.000 I don't think so.

02:24:57.000 And then also the evolution thing came up.

02:24:59.000 Interstate commerce clause, is that it?

02:25:00.000 I don't know.

02:25:01.000 That's something different, I think.

02:25:03.000 But I love him.

02:25:04.000 Right now I still like him, so I don't know. 0.98

02:25:07.000 I'm sure there's some weird shit about him, I guess. 1.00

02:25:09.000 If he doesn't believe in evolution, that is fucked up, man. 1.00

02:25:11.000 Maybe he had a religious experience. 0.99

02:25:14.000 Maybe he ate some bad bread one day. 0.99

02:25:16.000 Tripped the fuck out. 0.95

02:25:17.000 I love people. 0.86

02:25:18.000 He's got an insight. 0.97

02:25:19.000 Dude, people who believe the Earth is 5,000 years old are some of the funniest fucking people out there. 0.93

02:25:23.000 There's a big move for Ron Paul right now, man. 0.98

02:25:26.000 He's moving. 0.99

02:25:27.000 With this Occupy Wall Street thing, Ron Paul is fucking exploding. 0.98

02:25:30.000 Ron Paul is neck and neck with Newt Gingrich right now in the Iowa poll. 0.98

02:25:34.000 That is unprecedented.

02:25:35.000 People are not expecting this.

02:25:38.000 All these other guys are falling apart. 0.97

02:25:40.000 That's the crazy thing about these dummy Republicans. 1.00

02:25:43.000 All of them, slowly but surely, are showing that they're morons. 1.00

02:25:46.000 First it was Herman Cain, who's fucked everyone. 1.00

02:25:49.000 And then it's Rick Perry, who can't remember anything. 1.00

02:25:51.000 And then it's, you know, it's fucking Mitt Romney, who's got way too much money. 1.00

02:25:55.000 And Rick Perry's shit fucking internet video about, like, how you can't celebrate Christmas. 1.00

02:26:00.000 But yeah, but you know, we know the gays want to get married. 1.00

02:26:04.000 Yeah, we can put gays in the military. 0.99

02:26:06.000 Gays in the military, but we want to celebrate Christmas. 0.98

02:26:09.000 Meanwhile, he's wearing the same jacket from Brokeback Mountain.

02:26:12.000 He's wearing the same jacket that Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain.

02:26:15.000 You almost wonder if his stylist has a sense of humor.

02:26:19.000 I mean, how brilliant would that be?

02:26:20.000 If they're like, well, we've got to make you look like a good old boy.

02:26:23.000 I mean, you're just like George Bush again.

02:26:25.000 You're reincarnated.

02:26:25.000 A lot of people love George Bush.

02:26:26.000 He was a good man.

02:26:27.000 He was a good president.

02:26:28.000 We want to get you dressed like a rancher. 1.00

02:26:29.000 We're going to put you on a ranch.

02:26:30.000 Okay, we're going to dress him like a rancher.

02:26:32.000 Okay, a rancher.

02:26:33.000 What does a rancher dress like?

02:26:35.000 Well, you know, a rancher is just like an American, strong.

02:26:39.000 Okay, yeah, like Heath Ledger.

02:26:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:26:42.000 So they give him the fucking same jacket. 1.00

02:26:44.000 I mean, come on, man. 1.00

02:26:45.000 What are the odds? 0.99

02:26:46.000 Who the fuck has a tan jacket with a dark brown collar? 1.00

02:26:49.000 Get the fuck out of here, bitch. 1.00

02:26:50.000 Feels like somebody's winking at you, doesn't it? 1.00

02:26:52.000 Somebody's winking at you.

02:26:53.000 Yeah, that's what it feels like.

02:26:55.000 There's someone behind the scenes that's a 99 percenter and they don't like it. 0.93

02:27:01.000 They don't like it.

02:27:02.000 It's a whistleblower.

02:27:04.000 Yeah, man.

02:27:05.000 There's definitely little clues out there.

02:27:08.000 He's desperado.

02:27:09.000 And what it is now, it's like one of those shows where it's about to get canceled, so they bring in a black character. 0.97

02:27:14.000 We need a nutty neighbor, and he's a rapper, or whatever. 0.95

02:27:18.000 They're just panicking right now. 0.90

02:27:19.000 This is a death spiral.

02:27:21.000 But they're all, like, all of them seem like they should be on Jerry Springer.

02:27:24.000 They don't seem like they should be running for president. 0.99

02:27:25.000 They seem like just freaks and clownish. 0.95

02:27:27.000 Well, Newt Gingrich is guilty of ethics violations, and, you know, he was accused of over 40 different ethics violations. 0.95

02:27:33.000 Serves divorce papers to his wife dying of cancer.

02:27:37.000 Yeah, there's just so much that I don't like about him.

02:27:39.000 And one time, this is, by the way, this is the one thing that really sticks in my mind.

02:27:43.000 Think about this, Newt, because this really sticks in my mind as to who you really are.

02:27:47.000 Betty Little.

02:27:47.000 There was a kid in one of those MTV shows that came up to him and said, boxers are briefs.

02:27:54.000 And instead of having any sort of a sense of humor, he's like, that is a stupid question! 1.00

02:27:59.000 And I'm not going to answer your stupid question. 1.00

02:28:01.000 Like the way he said it, like demeaning to the kid, like an authoritative figure. 1.00

02:28:04.000 The kid should have said, bitch! 1.00

02:28:06.000 And just cracked him right in the face like he would in the jungle, you old rotten fucking tomato. 1.00

02:28:11.000 You old rotten tomato sitting on a fucking windowsill and rotting in the sun. 1.00

02:28:16.000 Who are you getting fresh with, stupid? 1.00

02:28:18.000 That's a stupid question. 1.00

02:28:19.000 Yeah, we're joking around. 1.00

02:28:20.000 This is a TV show. 0.98

02:28:21.000 This is MTV, dummy. 1.00

02:28:22.000 You know, what are you, an asshole? 1.00

02:28:24.000 You know, a guy comes up to you. 1.00

02:28:25.000 He's asking you questions about all kinds of legitimate shit. 0.99

02:28:28.000 And he said, sir, one question. 0.99

02:28:30.000 Boxers are briefs.

02:28:31.000 And you get angry at him.

02:28:33.000 You get angry at him because he threw that in there.

02:28:34.000 What kind of a nice guy are you?

02:28:36.000 You're agreeing to do an interview, but you don't like the underwear question.

02:28:39.000 That's frivolous in this time of seriousness. 1.00

02:28:43.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:28:44.000 Fuck you, you creepy dude. 1.00

02:28:45.000 You old withered turd. 1.00

02:28:46.000 You old creepy dude with your last chance to be king. 0.99

02:28:49.000 It ain't gonna work, dude. 0.94

02:28:51.000 You're getting exposed.

02:28:52.000 And you're exposed now, but they're gonna hack away at you slowly but surely.

02:28:56.000 Hack away at all the different times that you've used your influence to make money.

02:29:00.000 Hack away at all the different times you've forced things through that other people weren't comfortable with.

02:29:04.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:05.000 This is the thing about Obama, man, that I think about Obama. 0.83

02:29:09.000 Whether or not you like him or not, I think that guy's a pretty dangerous, vicious guy.

02:29:14.000 And I think he uses a lot of tricks that...

02:29:16.000 The fact that he's not vetoing this act.

02:29:18.000 This act would put him at odds with Congress, put him at odds with the Senate, and he's not going to veto it. 0.98

02:29:23.000 I can't believe he's not fucking vetoing it. 0.96

02:29:24.000 It's amazing. 0.99

02:29:24.000 And he said he would veto it. 0.99

02:29:25.000 It's horrifying.

02:29:26.000 He's not going to veto it.

02:29:27.000 It's amazing.

02:29:29.000 Do you think he's going to sign it?

02:29:31.000 Yes, I do. 0.90

02:29:31.000 I'm going to piss. 0.90

02:29:32.000 Yeah, they said he's going to sign it. 1.00

02:29:33.000 Let's just wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:29:34.000 Let's end this thing. 1.00

02:29:34.000 It's fucking three hours long. 1.00

02:29:36.000 All right. 0.96

02:29:37.000 Thanks, everybody.

02:29:37.000 Thanks for tuning in.

02:29:38.000 Thank you to the Fleshlight for...

02:29:40.000 Thank you, Fleshlight.

02:29:41.000 Thank you, Fleshlight.

02:29:43.000 Thank you, Fleshlight, for so many wonderful memories.

02:29:44.000 Thank you for being so awesome.

02:29:46.000 Thank you for every time I've gone like this inside of your body.

02:29:51.000 Can I talk about a show I'm doing?

02:29:52.000 Sure, yeah, please do.

02:29:53.000 I'm going to be at Caroline's in New York City tomorrow, Friday and Saturday.

02:29:59.000 I'm featuring for Natasha Leggeros to come out. 1.00

02:30:01.000 Dude, Caroline's is the shit. 1.00

02:30:03.000 That's a great club. 1.00

02:30:04.000 Can't wait.

02:30:04.000 That's a fun place to be, man.

02:30:06.000 Caroline's in New York City.

02:30:07.000 Can't get any better than that, dude.

02:30:07.000 Please come.

02:30:08.000 That's on Broadway.

02:30:09.000 Yeah, come. 0.83

02:30:10.000 Come.

02:30:11.000 It's a hilarious show.

02:30:12.000 We are also, Duncan and I, will be performing together on New Year's Eve at the Melrose Improv.

02:30:16.000 Holla at your boy, me, Duncan, and Joey. 1.00

02:30:20.000 Motherfucking Diaz, bitches. 1.00

02:30:22.000 P.S. Suck it, okay? 1.00

02:30:24.000 Suck it. 1.00

02:30:24.000 We don't know, I think there's only one show. 1.00

02:30:26.000 That's the right way to do it.

02:30:27.000 We might have two shows, in which case the 8 o'clock people don't get to celebrate the mystical changing of the guard.

02:30:32.000 That's right.

02:30:32.000 But we'll fake it.

02:30:33.000 We'll fake it.

02:30:35.000 We'll do a countdown.

02:30:35.000 That way you'll celebrate it twice.

02:30:37.000 Right?

02:30:38.000 Word.

02:30:39.000 Also, we're at the Chicago Theater, January 27th.

02:30:44.000 And it is almost sold out.

02:30:45.000 If it sells out, apparently they're going to open up some other section.

02:30:48.000 It's like this upper high balcony.

02:30:50.000 But the tickets you want are probably the ones that are... 0.96

02:30:53.000 Well, actually, it's a fucking old badass theater. 0.82

02:30:55.000 It'll be great, man. 0.96

02:30:56.000 It'll be awesome if you have the top balcony.

02:30:58.000 But it's me and Duncan and Joey Diaz as well.

02:31:01.000 Or should I say Duncan, Joey Diaz and I. Because that's the correct way to do it.

02:31:05.000 Thank you, Joe.

02:31:05.000 To be courteous and letting people know that's why you say that.

02:31:08.000 That's why it's structured.

02:31:09.000 Because I'm thinking of you first.

02:31:10.000 Yes.

02:31:10.000 And that's what people like.

02:31:11.000 Okay? 1.00

02:31:11.000 So learn from that, all you dirty bitches. 1.00

02:31:14.000 All you fucked up, evil, selfish fucks. 1.00

02:31:16.000 Freaks. 1.00

02:31:16.000 Who are not looking out for your fellow man. 1.00

02:31:18.000 Look out for your fellow man.

02:31:20.000 And only hang around people who are 100% looking out for you, too.

02:31:24.000 This is possible.

02:31:25.000 This can be done.

02:31:27.000 Okay?

02:31:27.000 I have proven it.

02:31:28.000 You can do the same thing.

02:31:29.000 You can manifest your own reality and make it so.

02:31:32.000 Duncan...

02:31:32.000 God is love.

02:31:33.000 Get some jizz into some holes, guys.

02:31:37.000 Let's end this with a chant.

02:31:39.000 Can you give us a chant to end this with a positive note?

02:31:40.000 Let's say real quick that we're at...

02:31:42.000 Oh, yeah.

02:31:42.000 We got the Ice House this weekend.

02:31:44.000 Friday and Saturday.

02:31:45.000 We're doing the Ice House, the annex in the Ice House.

02:31:47.000 It's a small room.

02:31:48.000 It's only 85 seats, and there are star-studded shows.

02:31:52.000 And it's...

02:31:52.000 Give us the full lineup.

02:31:54.000 Friday, we have Nick Thune, Doug Benson, John Reap, and Pablo Francisco.

02:31:58.000 Boom! 0.99

02:31:59.000 Saturday, we have Joey Dia, Eliza Schlesinger, Sam Tripoli, Daryl Wright, and Skylar Stone.

02:32:07.000 Love that.

02:32:07.000 Boom!

02:32:08.000 Boom, boom, boom! 0.95

02:32:09.000 These are crazy, huge shows.

02:32:11.000 And it's only like, what is it, 15 bucks?

02:32:13.000 15 bucks.

02:32:14.000 IcehouseComedy.com. 1.00

02:32:15.000 And the Ice House is the shit. 1.00

02:32:16.000 It's a great club. 1.00

02:32:17.000 It's got a great vibe.

02:32:19.000 It's where we do most of the podcasts from.

02:32:21.000 We've been doing a lot of them from there lately.

02:32:23.000 This one we're doing from my office.

02:32:25.000 But most of them we do at the Ice House because it's such a cool group of people that work there.

02:32:30.000 And it's a good vibe.

02:32:32.000 And the club has been around for like over 50 years, right?

02:32:34.000 Isn't it like...

02:32:35.000 Yeah, 50 year anniversary this year.

02:32:37.000 It's crazy.

02:32:37.000 I mean, it's got like real history, like in the walls, man.

02:32:41.000 It's like a real spot.

02:32:43.000 And the podcasts there have been phenomenal.

02:32:45.000 And we also do a podcast there this weekend.

02:32:48.000 Every show that we do there, we also do a show called the Ice House Chronicles.

02:32:53.000 And if you subscribe to the Death Squad on iTunes, you can get the Ice House Chronicles for free.

02:32:59.000 It's always for free, and it's another good reason to subscribe to Death Squad, because you've got a lot of other good stuff on there, like Sam Tripoli's on there.

02:33:05.000 He's got The Naughty Show on there.

02:33:07.000 Tom Segurn and Christina Pazitsky, they have your mom's house.

02:33:10.000 Tebe.

02:33:11.000 Yeah, Tebe and the Hebe.

02:33:14.000 Who is it?

02:33:15.000 It's Tebe and his girlfriend, Daniel Stewart.

02:33:19.000 They're constantly doing new ones on there, and it's just awesome, free entertainment.

02:33:25.000 Okay, so check that out.

02:33:27.000 Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast.

02:33:30.000 I already said that.

02:33:32.000 Thank you to Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, New Mood, and Shroom Tech Sport.

02:33:39.000 And now Shroom Tech Immune is a new Shroom Tech, which is based on mushrooms that enhance your immune system.

02:33:46.000 We're trying to keep you healthy.

02:33:47.000 We're trying to keep you smart.

02:33:48.000 We're trying to keep you happy.

02:33:48.000 Not for working out, just for immunity?

02:33:50.000 There's one that's for working out.

02:33:51.000 That's the Shroom Tech Sport.

02:33:55.000 And then the other one, Shroom Tech Immune, is supposed to help your chaga mushrooms and a bunch of different mushrooms that enhance your vitality and help your mood.

02:34:01.000 Yeah, yeah, I got some.

02:34:02.000 Cool, I need that right now. 0.99

02:34:03.000 That's a new product, bitches. 1.00

02:34:05.000 I want to try that. 0.98

02:34:06.000 Again, with all the audit.com things, I tell you this very simply.

02:34:10.000 These are all things that I am supporting because I believe in them.

02:34:13.000 Although I have a financial stake in it, I can guarantee you with 100% certainty I would never, ever participate in anything that I didn't think was legit.

02:34:23.000 I've been using nootropics for a long time now.

02:34:25.000 I absolutely 100% have had positive effects from them and there's science to back it.

02:34:29.000 You can look online and find all sorts of information on nootropics and I encourage you to do so if you're interested in them.

02:34:35.000 If you feel like the products are too expensive, please go buy the ingredients in bulk.

02:34:40.000 Make it yourself.

02:34:41.000 Save some money.

02:34:42.000 I will be happy.

02:34:43.000 I swear to you.

02:34:44.000 If you want to buy ours though, You can get them.

02:34:46.000 From Onnit.com.

02:34:48.000 O-N-N-I-T. And if you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for AlphaBrain, it'll take you right there. 0.93

02:34:53.000 Enter in the code name ROGAN. Get 10% off.

02:34:56.000 And as always, there is a 100% money back guarantee.

02:35:00.000 If it doesn't work for you, if your body doesn't feel it for whatever reason, it's not worth it to you, 100% money back guarantee.

02:35:06.000 We want you happy.

02:35:07.000 We want you healthy.

02:35:08.000 We want you tuning in.

02:35:10.000 We love you.

02:35:11.000 We don't even know you.

02:35:12.000 We do love you, as long as you're the way that we want you to be.

02:35:15.000 We want you to be loving back. 1.00

02:35:16.000 Don't be a cunt. 1.00

02:35:17.000 We love the truth inside of you. 1.00

02:35:19.000 We say we love you, but if you're a cunt, then we're not going to love that aspect of you, alright? 1.00

02:35:22.000 So get it together, bitches. 1.00

02:35:24.000 We're all connected. 0.99

02:35:25.000 We're all connected.

02:35:26.000 We're all connected, and we'll see you soon.

02:35:27.000 Bye.

02:35:28.000 We love you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 14, 2011

Joe Rogan Experience #166 - Duncan Trussell

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript