The Joe Rogan Experience - August 11, 2021


Joe Rogan Experience #1694 - Ms. Pat & Jordan E. Cooper

Topics
two girls in one cup alternative school table read STDs selective breeding hunting cats at the airport Disney World bass fishing fishing omega-3s hot flashes and menopause symptoms hot flashes crabs venereal disease origin Hasberg jaw and royal inbreeding masks and fighting on planes alligators in Florida pythons in Everglades battle of the monsters hunting sharks and island territory BET Plus premiere August 12th
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Ms. Pat
Mentioned
Debbie Allen Lucy Kanye John Brennan Dave Chappelle Matt Damon Dick Jamie Michael Jackson Felicia Rashad Chris Spencer Puerto Ricans John Rattler Red Fox Janelle Martin Elsa Brim Lee Daniels Maurice Vidal Portman Yeah and 94 more
JRE MMA Show #114 with Rickson Gracie Joe Rogan Experience #1695 - Andrew Schulz

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 48 minutes

Words per minute

203.86

Word count

34,445

Sentence count

4,381

Harmful content

Misogyny

224

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,686

sentences flagged

Hate speech

148

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Jordan E. Cooper, co-creator of The M.O.P.E.K.I.S. and host of the hit comedy show, The Miss Pat Show, joins Jemele to talk about how she and her husband, Joe Rogan, fell in love with the show and how they became best friends. They also discuss how they met, how they got into comedy, and why they decided to start a podcast. They also talk about why they didn t want to do the pilot episode of the show because they didn't know if Joe would watch it, and what they did to get him to watch it. And they also discuss why they thought it was a good idea to do a pilot episode at all, even though it wasn't a hit. And they talk about what they would do if they did get Joe to watch the pilot and how it didn't work out. You won't want to miss this one. It's a good one. Thank you so much for being a part of the team and supporting the team. We really appreciate it and we look forward to working with you on the new season of The Miss PAT. Also, we hope you like the new episodes of the new show. We'll see you next week! Thanks for listening and God bless. XOXO. -Jemele and Joe XO -P.S.: Thank you for listening to this episode of Jemele and the podcast. We appreciate it. We love you, we really appreciate you. Thank you and appreciate you for being here. and we appreciate you! - Thank you, Joe, God bless you, God Blessings, Blessings and Blessings. Love ya. -Jamaal & P. xoxo, P.J. & Pat -Alyssa and P.M. & Alyssa - P.A. & JUICY P. E. & KELLY - M.JACOB xOJOY - SONGS: - JOE ROGAN - RYAN AND P. M. & S. BONUS EPISODES: P. R. & M. B. & BOBJO JAYE - AVAILABLE - THE M. OCHE CHEESE - BABY BOWL - JOSEPH M. S.

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:12.000 Oh, hello Miss Pat.
00:00:13.000 Hello, Joe Rogan.
00:00:14.000 Good to see you again.
00:00:15.000 Please introduce your friend.
00:00:17.000 This is Jordan E. Cooper, the co-creator of The Miss Pat Show. 0.94
00:00:20.000 Which, by the way, is a fucking hilarious show. 0.94
00:00:23.000 I was nervous. 1.00
00:00:23.000 When friends say, I got a new show, you're like, oh, I gotta watch this shit. 1.00
00:00:28.000 Because so many times you watch your friend's show and it's not good. 1.00
00:00:31.000 Your show is fucking good. 0.99
00:00:32.000 It's a real solid sitcom. 0.98
00:00:34.000 Thank you.
00:00:35.000 Bravo.
00:00:36.000 And right out of the gate, it's solid.
00:00:38.000 You know, sitcoms take years to get their legs. 0.99
00:00:41.000 At least a few episodes.
00:00:42.000 But right out of the gate, your show is very solid.
00:00:44.000 I wish you knew how hard it was for me to text you to ask you to watch it.
00:00:48.000 I'll text.
00:00:49.000 I'll type the text.
00:00:50.000 And I was like, oh, I can't.
00:00:52.000 Because I know how honest you are.
00:00:53.000 And then when I was like...
00:00:54.000 It took me months.
00:00:56.000 And I was like, but I gotta ask him.
00:00:58.000 Because I was like, if Joe like it, then I feel like...
00:01:01.000 It was a seal of solid foundation.
00:01:04.000 And I was like, if I can just...
00:01:05.000 Because I got Ori to watch it.
00:01:06.000 And he was like, it's really good.
00:01:07.000 And I was like, I just want to see if Joe will watch it. 0.98
00:01:09.000 And I know how fucking busy you are. 0.97
00:01:10.000 And I kept... 0.98
00:01:11.000 When I sent the text, I was like...
00:01:13.000 Oh my God, oh my God, he's not gonna watch you now.
00:01:15.000 And when I hit you back, hey, and he was like, I'm in the Mediterranean. 1.00
00:01:18.000 Whatever the fuck that word you use. 0.99
00:01:19.000 You somewhere where birds don't have wings, but they still fly. 1.00
00:01:22.000 You was on vacation.
00:01:24.000 Where was I? Somewhere rich people go.
00:01:26.000 Birds don't have wings, but they still fly?
00:01:29.000 What kind of riddle is this?
00:01:32.000 It's called a crackhead.
00:01:35.000 Perts don't have wings and they still fly? 1.00
00:01:37.000 I just imagined that's where the fuck you was at. 1.00
00:01:40.000 I can't. 1.00
00:01:41.000 Something heavily placed.
00:01:43.000 I can't afford to go.
00:01:44.000 You was on vacation.
00:01:45.000 I think you said you was in the Mediterranean. 0.98
00:01:47.000 I'm fucking up the world. 0.95
00:01:49.000 Probably the Caribbean. 0.99
00:01:50.000 It started with an M. M? I don't fucking know. 0.99
00:01:55.000 We was texting, and when you started to text me, the jokes in the show, I was like, you don't know how much air went out of my titties that day, Joke. 0.98
00:02:07.000 I'm very happy it's a good show.
00:02:09.000 I'm very happy.
00:02:10.000 It's rock solid.
00:02:11.000 It really is.
00:02:12.000 Thank you.
00:02:12.000 We worked our ass off to get it.
00:02:14.000 It was so hard with a comedy because to me comedy is so rehashed and I feel like Hollywood is so out of ideal. 0.87
00:02:21.000 That's why we getting all these fucking reboots that even with the pilot we went through the hand and toe to make sure you haven't heard it.
00:02:29.000 Original jokes. 0.97
00:02:30.000 Original jokes.
00:02:31.000 A lot of it is my stand-up.
00:02:33.000 And so that was another thing.
00:02:34.000 I was like, should I send Joe this?
00:02:36.000 Oh, his auntie's opinion.
00:02:37.000 And I asked you for your auntie's opinion.
00:02:38.000 You was like, oh, Pat, I really don't want to watch it because I don't like watching my friends. 1.00
00:02:42.000 I said, just watch the shit. 1.00
00:02:43.000 You can't hurt my feelings. 1.00
00:02:44.000 I've been shot.
00:02:45.000 I've had gunner real. 1.00
00:02:46.000 I've been hit by the freaking fucking thing. 1.00
00:02:48.000 Give it to me, Joe. 1.00
00:02:49.000 Like, hard dick with no condom. 1.00
00:02:51.000 And so you text back, and I immediately text him and say, look what fucking Joe Rogan said. 1.00
00:02:57.000 I can't, the N-word. 0.97
00:02:59.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 1.00
00:03:03.000 Because your fucking podcast is so big. 1.00
00:03:05.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:03:09.000 You said it in the past on here. 1.00
00:03:11.000 I said, nigga, look what Joe has said. 1.00
00:03:17.000 I said, wake your black ass up, nigga. 1.00
00:03:19.000 Joe Rogan like our show. 1.00
00:03:20.000 Joe Rogan like our show.
00:03:21.000 And like I said, it takes a while.
00:03:23.000 When I did news radio, that was in the 90s, it took like...
00:03:28.000 Four or five episodes before the show really started finding its way.
00:03:32.000 It takes a while.
00:03:33.000 It does.
00:03:34.000 It does.
00:03:35.000 I first saw Pat, I was a senior in high school.
00:03:40.000 I'm 26 now.
00:03:41.000 I was a senior in high school.
00:03:42.000 My dad had recorded her on this daytime talk show.
00:03:45.000 And he was like, you gotta watch her.
00:03:46.000 Harry Connick Jr. Yes, Harry Connick Jr. I remember that show.
00:03:50.000 You were on that show?
00:03:51.000 Yes.
00:03:52.000 My dad was like, you gotta watch her.
00:03:54.000 She's hilarious.
00:03:55.000 You'll love her.
00:03:56.000 You'll love her.
00:03:56.000 And so I sat down and watched, and I just fell in love.
00:03:59.000 Because I like to do the type of comedy where it's like you laugh over the pain, you laugh over it, you laugh through it.
00:04:04.000 And that's her life.
00:04:05.000 That's Ms. Pat.
00:04:05.000 That's her brand.
00:04:06.000 And so I was like, damn, whenever she gets a book, I'm going to read that damn book. 1.00
00:04:10.000 I'm going to study it. 1.00
00:04:11.000 That's going to be my shit. 0.99
00:04:12.000 Then I got to college. 1.00
00:04:13.000 Book came out.
00:04:14.000 It was like $35.
00:04:15.000 I couldn't afford it.
00:04:17.000 So I screenshotted it.
00:04:18.000 I was like, oh, I'm going to come back, and I'm going to get this book when I get some money.
00:04:20.000 Never was able to get the book.
00:04:21.000 But I wrote this play called Ain't No More that went to the public in New York.
00:04:25.000 What's it called?
00:04:25.000 It was called Ain't No More.
00:04:27.000 And it was at the public theater and Lee Daniels saw it.
00:04:30.000 And after he saw it, he was like, hey, we're trying to do a TV show for this comedian.
00:04:35.000 Her name is Miss Pat, but we don't really have a concept.
00:04:38.000 Nobody really knows what they want to do.
00:04:39.000 So can you just read her book and see if you can come up with a concept for a show? 0.99
00:04:43.000 And I was just happy to get the damn book. 0.98
00:04:45.000 But I read it and I just fell in love and I immediately saw this sitcom in my head. 0.99
00:04:50.000 Because I'm a big fan of old school sitcoms like All in the Family, The Jeffersons, Good Times with a live studio audience.
00:04:56.000 And I just felt like putting her in this dollhouse of a sitcom And just burning all of it down.
00:05:04.000 Put your hands down, son. 1.00
00:05:05.000 Goddamn, you talking with your hands. 1.00
00:05:07.000 Goddamn, Joe Rogan. 1.00
00:05:09.000 He's expressing himself. 1.00
00:05:12.000 I'm a homosexual. 0.74
00:05:13.000 We talk with our hands.
00:05:14.000 He's expressing himself.
00:05:16.000 Let him express himself.
00:05:18.000 Is that what he's doing?
00:05:20.000 With the hands? 0.98
00:05:21.000 No, he's throwing out gay shout outs. 0.56
00:05:22.000 It's a maiden call? 0.89
00:05:23.000 How do you get men with your hands? 1.00
00:05:25.000 It's a maiden call. 1.00
00:05:26.000 Dick! 0.99
00:05:27.000 Dick! 0.99
00:05:27.000 Dick! 0.99
00:05:27.000 You done said dick! 0.99
00:05:28.000 That's it? 1.00
00:05:30.000 I'm learning so much today.
00:05:32.000 Birds who fly with no wings.
00:05:34.000 This is how you get dicked.
00:05:36.000 I'm learning. 0.70
00:05:36.000 Put your hands down. 0.70
00:05:44.000 For you to be 26 and to create a show is pretty fucking amazing. 1.00
00:05:48.000 It was a ride, Joe, because when Lee first brought this kid to me, and I'm honest, and I know Hollywood is full of shit, and it's so hard to get people in the industry not to sound like a talking fucking tech. 0.99
00:06:03.000 Everybody said the same goddamn thing, and I was just, I have to break them down. 0.99
00:06:06.000 Either you be honest with me, or I don't fuck with you. 1.00
00:06:08.000 So when I met him, and Lee was like, oh, I got this kid. 1.00
00:06:11.000 He fell out of heaven, and da-da-da.
00:06:12.000 And I'm like, okay, Lee. 0.97
00:06:14.000 And he told me, I'm in fucking Utah, so I want to perform. 1.00
00:06:17.000 He said, get your ass on the plane. 1.00
00:06:19.000 You got to go see the plane. 1.00
00:06:20.000 It's the last night. 0.99
00:06:20.000 I said, I don't know if you know how this shit works, but I'm a comedian. 0.99
00:06:23.000 I don't get paid till tomorrow, and I ain't going no goddamn way. 0.99
00:06:26.000 I need my little pennies, okay? 0.92
00:06:27.000 So they put me on the plane.
00:06:29.000 I flew over to watch him, and I pick up me.
00:06:32.000 I deal with people with spirits.
00:06:34.000 Your energy.
00:06:35.000 I can just tell if you're a good person. 0.99
00:06:37.000 I can tell when shit is gonna happen. 0.99
00:06:40.000 And when I met him, I said, he could do it. 0.98
00:06:42.000 And the first thing I did, I called him and I said, they're never gonna give you this job.
00:06:47.000 He said, but Lee said they're gonna hire me.
00:06:48.000 I said, no they're not.
00:06:49.000 He said, why you say that? 0.99
00:06:50.000 I said, because you ain't never did shit and they don't understand. 0.99
00:06:53.000 Hollywood want what everybody else's want. 1.00
00:06:56.000 They don't want you until somebody else don't fuck you and bust your booty. 1.00
00:07:00.000 Take that out. 1.00
00:07:01.000 Take that out.
00:07:03.000 No, keep it in there.
00:07:04.000 Keep it in there.
00:07:05.000 Hollywood don't want you. 1.00
00:07:07.000 I didn't know.
00:07:08.000 I didn't mean to say that.
00:07:10.000 It's true.
00:07:10.000 You did mean to say it.
00:07:11.000 You meant it.
00:07:12.000 You're trying to get me counseled.
00:07:13.000 No, I'm trying to get you elevated.
00:07:15.000 They don't want you until somebody else doesn't bust you in.
00:07:18.000 It's true. 1.00
00:07:19.000 Now he's got all kind of interviews, but I sat him down and I said, they're going to take you to fancy dinners and try to blow your fucking mind. 0.99
00:07:27.000 I said, if you listen to a real nigga like me, we can do this. 0.99
00:07:30.000 I said, now I'm going to be honest with you. 0.99
00:07:32.000 Lee is busting his ass to get this job for you. 0.98
00:07:35.000 I said, but while Lee is busting his ass to get you this job, let me show you how to get this job. 0.99
00:07:39.000 He said, what I got to do? 1.00
00:07:40.000 I said, let's write a pilot behind these motherfuckers back. 1.00
00:07:43.000 And I started to tell him what the other two writers wouldn't listen to me on. 1.00
00:07:47.000 And he listened. 0.98
00:07:48.000 And we wrote that motherfucking about eight days. 0.97
00:07:50.000 So when we finished it, I said, he put his name on it. 1.00
00:07:54.000 I said, take your fucking name off of me. 0.99
00:07:57.000 Which I was like, what? 1.00
00:07:59.000 What? 1.00
00:08:04.000 And let me tell you what, I'm a hood, bitch. 1.00
00:08:06.000 I'm a hood. 0.99
00:08:07.000 I mean, everything for me come from the knowledge that I got from streets, okay? 1.00
00:08:11.000 You can never outsmart me because I'm fucked. 1.00
00:08:13.000 You might can spell a word right, but motherfucker, I got Google and two daughters with a college degree, so I get your ass back on that, too. 1.00
00:08:20.000 So I told him, I said, take your name off of it. 0.99
00:08:22.000 He's like, why? 0.99
00:08:23.000 I said, because if they don't like it, they're not going to give you the fucking job. 0.99
00:08:26.000 But if I tell them I did it, I'm the star of the show. 1.00
00:08:29.000 They're going to, oh, Ms. Pepper, throw that shit in the trash can. 1.00
00:08:31.000 We're going to get you a writer. 1.00
00:08:32.000 So what we did, he took his name off. 0.99
00:08:34.000 I said, one thing you ain't never got to worry about me doing is stealing shit from you. 0.99
00:08:38.000 I'm not that type of person. 1.00
00:08:40.000 I said, what the fuck I look like stealing shit? 1.00
00:08:42.000 These people know I can't spell all this shit correctly. 1.00
00:08:47.000 And that's exactly what she did. 1.00
00:08:49.000 She called Lee and she sent it to Lee and Lee Carr and said, who the fuck wrote this? 0.99
00:08:53.000 And she said, me. 0.99
00:08:55.000 He said, no you didn't bitch because everything's spelled right. 1.00
00:09:01.000 That's what he said. 0.97
00:09:04.000 And I said...
00:09:05.000 And that's when I said, me and Jordan wrote...
00:09:09.000 And you want to hear something so crazy?
00:09:11.000 So, this kid just graduated college, right?
00:09:13.000 And he was like, just drop out of college.
00:09:15.000 You're going to be a fan. 1.00
00:09:15.000 I said, don't you drop out of fucking college. 1.00
00:09:16.000 So I asked him, I said, do you have final draft? 1.00
00:09:18.000 He was like, no, he's poor as fuck. 0.99
00:09:20.000 He said, I don't have final draft. 1.00
00:09:21.000 I said, nigga, take my credit card. 1.00
00:09:23.000 Take my debit card. 0.97
00:09:24.000 Go buy you some grocery and buy final draft.
00:09:27.000 All I imagined had me interviewing writers, Joe...
00:09:30.000 Me and him, I said, right nigga, right!
00:09:32.000 They got me another interview! 0.95
00:09:33.000 Right nigga, right! 1.00
00:09:36.000 But, like, what's funny, though, yo, is that, like, she, she, like, it was, it was something, I was talking about this yesterday, I was like, it takes a lot to earn Pat's trust in that sense, because she was literally, it was like she was entrusting me with her comedy and her story.
00:09:50.000 And so, like, it was funny where, like, I would write a draft of something, and I would send it, I would send it over to her, and she would read it, she'd be like, nigga, why you got me cussing? 0.97
00:09:59.000 I said... 0.89
00:10:02.000 Because that's how you talk. 1.00
00:10:04.000 She said, nigga, I don't motherfucking talk like that. 1.00
00:10:06.000 Take that shit out. 1.00
00:10:07.000 That's how you talk. 1.00
00:10:08.000 And I was like, we have to do a new kind of sitcom.
00:10:11.000 I wanted to do something where it's like, you could just be yourself.
00:10:14.000 You know, because you look at all those old shows.
00:10:15.000 You look at Sanford and Son with Red Foxx or even the Richard Pryor show that he had for like three seconds.
00:10:20.000 And it's like, imagine if he was just allowed to be himself.
00:10:23.000 That show would have lasted forever.
00:10:24.000 Well, Sanford and Son, Red Fox got as close as you can get on a network television show to being Red Fox.
00:10:32.000 Yep, exactly.
00:10:33.000 About as close as you can get.
00:10:34.000 But they don't do those anymore.
00:10:37.000 They scared.
00:10:37.000 And when he came to me and he said, well, actually, after we wrote the pilot, they immediately gave him a job.
00:10:43.000 After we wrote the podcast, they was like, this kid can write. 0.98
00:10:46.000 And I told them, I said, see, I know what the fuck I'm talking about. 0.99
00:10:49.000 Because Hollywood is so stripped. 0.99
00:10:51.000 They're scared to step outside the box. 1.00
00:10:52.000 They're going to give you the same old bullshit. 1.00
00:10:54.000 We need a black writer. 1.00
00:10:55.000 Well, that black writer might not understand what the fuck Ms. Pat's trying to do. 1.00
00:10:58.000 And I went through a few that did not understand what I was trying to do. 0.99
00:11:01.000 With him, I took him and I said, if you just listen, we can create something.
00:11:06.000 Just listen to these stories. 0.99
00:11:07.000 I just need you to put the shit in the right form. 1.00
00:11:09.000 And he did. 1.00
00:11:10.000 And he got the fucking job. 1.00
00:11:11.000 Well, as a 26-year-old man, you're willing to take chances, too. 1.00
00:11:14.000 Oh, God.
00:11:15.000 When people get to be 46, and they've got all this stuff behind them, and then they're worried about offending, or they're worried about pissing off the network, or they're worried about getting on the wrong side of the executives.
00:11:25.000 You gotta believe in your project, huh?
00:11:27.000 I said, you were scared of me.
00:11:29.000 I was, because he pushed me.
00:11:30.000 I was like, we're not going to say that.
00:11:32.000 That's not what we're going to do.
00:11:33.000 But he pushed me a lot, and it made me realize, oh, well, this is something different.
00:11:38.000 Why not try something different?
00:11:39.000 At least one thing I learned about this idea, Joe, if you're going to go down, go down for what you believe in.
00:11:44.000 Because I almost went down twice for what I did not believe in.
00:11:48.000 And we was close to shooting this thing once before.
00:11:51.000 And I was like, I'm so glad that I stood up and said, I'm so glad I didn't need the money. 0.96
00:11:56.000 When you need the money, boy, you get in the bed with the devil.
00:12:00.000 But I used to tell them, y'all could never give me as much as I could steal.
00:12:10.000 And so I just, when I met him and I said, I'm willing, I don't care.
00:12:14.000 I mean, that was a third holding deal.
00:12:16.000 So I'm not, I wasn't rich, but I could buy better wigs and I was on the road and I was selling my T-shirts.
00:12:22.000 So I was cool.
00:12:24.000 And I was saying, we're going to stick together and we're going to fight for what we want.
00:12:30.000 And we did.
00:12:31.000 The show that you showed me is about as close to you as you can get.
00:12:36.000 It's right there.
00:12:37.000 It's me.
00:12:38.000 It's right there and it's just starting.
00:12:40.000 That's what's amazing.
00:12:41.000 If you get one of those shows and you let it breathe and grow and give it a couple of months and give it six episodes, give it ten episodes, give it a year, give it second season. 1.00
00:12:53.000 Fuck! 1.00
00:12:54.000 You got a real good shot with the show. 1.00
00:12:56.000 A real good shot.
00:12:57.000 And I was so happy when you told me that that night.
00:12:59.000 It's real.
00:13:00.000 It's very good.
00:13:01.000 It made me laugh hard.
00:13:03.000 Thank you.
00:13:04.000 Y'all hear that?
00:13:05.000 Don't be scared to come on over to BET Plus, white people. 1.00
00:13:08.000 Come over there and matinate that bitch up. 1.00
00:13:10.000 Well, with streaming now, it's like networks doesn't matter anymore. 1.00
00:13:15.000 You just have to have a good show.
00:13:16.000 You gotta step into it.
00:13:18.000 You gotta step into it.
00:13:20.000 And I think that's the thing that, why we ran into a lot of trouble even selling it initially or even getting it picked up originally, was that I think it was too real.
00:13:32.000 It was a little bit too real.
00:13:33.000 Oh yeah, Joe, they was asking dumb, I'm not going to say dumb questions because when you're not familiar with a person's culture, they was asking, like, one of the kids' name is Janelle, and what did they ask you?
00:13:45.000 Oh, they were like, the name was too ethnic. 0.80
00:13:48.000 I was like, Janelle?
00:13:50.000 And branded?
00:13:52.000 Ethnic? 0.79
00:13:53.000 Janelle.
00:13:54.000 They couldn't handle Janelle.
00:13:56.000 But that's executives. 1.00
00:13:57.000 They always want to fuck with things. 1.00
00:13:58.000 If they would only leave shit alone. 1.00
00:14:01.000 And, you know, even when we got... 1.00
00:14:03.000 We left Fox.
00:14:04.000 We went from Fox to Fox Studios.
00:14:07.000 And then we went to...
00:14:08.000 Because the deal originally was at Fox, right?
00:14:10.000 And then when I came in...
00:14:12.000 Because originally it was going to be a single cam show.
00:14:14.000 And then I was like, no, it's got to be a multi-cam.
00:14:17.000 You got to put her in front of a live audience because she's going to come alive.
00:14:20.000 And they were like, all right, cool, let's do multicam. 1.00
00:14:22.000 And then once they read the script, they're like, oh, you got a lot of fucks and motherfuckers and niggas in here. 1.00
00:14:26.000 We're going to have to go to Fox 21, which was like a division, a cable division. 1.00
00:14:36.000 And then that's when we went out and we sold it to Hulu.
00:14:39.000 We sold it to Hulu.
00:14:40.000 All these networks still have these language restrictions. 0.99
00:14:43.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.97
00:14:44.000 They're not on real earth. 0.99
00:14:45.000 It's 2021. Yeah, we're in a new world now.
00:14:48.000 Everybody has the internet.
00:14:49.000 That's nonsense.
00:14:51.000 Hey, I was just telling y'all out there, what are you hiding from with Elaine? 1.00
00:14:54.000 My kids, little kids, elementary, and the time they learn how to read, one of them Google Elsa sucking dick. 1.00
00:15:00.000 So, what are you hiding? 1.00
00:15:03.000 What are you hiding? 1.00
00:15:04.000 I didn't even know Elsa was sucking dick on the internet. 1.00
00:15:07.000 And it's true. 1.00
00:15:08.000 She really is.
00:15:08.000 Elsa from Frozen?
00:15:09.000 Yeah, she gang banging. 1.00
00:15:11.000 And I was like, I don't know why. 1.00
00:15:13.000 Was she getting fucked by the snowman? 0.99
00:15:15.000 No. 1.00
00:15:16.000 She's getting gang banged. 0.94
00:15:17.000 She's not gang banging. 1.00
00:15:19.000 Well, it's just dicks all around her. 1.00
00:15:20.000 She's letting it go. 0.99
00:15:22.000 Gang banged.
00:15:22.000 Yeah, and I was actually blown away.
00:15:24.000 And I was like, why did you Google this?
00:15:26.000 Well, they Googling it at school.
00:15:28.000 And it's the second grade.
00:15:29.000 I was like, what?
00:15:30.000 And I said, you will never get a phone until you have a job to pay for a phone.
00:15:34.000 I mean, when I was in third grade, everybody was talking about two girls in one cup.
00:15:39.000 That's right.
00:15:40.000 What is that?
00:15:41.000 Oh, that's the one where they...
00:15:43.000 Do you want to see it?
00:15:44.000 No, you don't want to see it.
00:15:45.000 Show it to me.
00:15:46.000 No, you don't want to see it.
00:15:47.000 No, I had a baby, Earl.
00:15:48.000 I don't know what two girls in a cup is. 1.00
00:15:50.000 I just had sex. 0.96
00:15:50.000 Two girls, one cup is like one of the first videos where people would do reactions. 0.96
00:15:54.000 They would film reactions to it because it's so disgusting.
00:15:57.000 Oh.
00:15:58.000 It's these two girls. 1.00
00:15:59.000 They start making out and one of them shits in a cup and they start eating it. 1.00
00:16:03.000 Oh, no! 0.99
00:16:04.000 Throwing up in each other's mouths, right?
00:16:06.000 Yeah.
00:16:07.000 You want to see it?
00:16:07.000 No, I do not want to see that.
00:16:09.000 What happens to just normal sex where you hunch each other and go to sleep?
00:16:13.000 Well, this was a long time ago.
00:16:14.000 Yeah, this was like 2004. But I started in 1985. Why did we change from the sex from 1985?
00:16:22.000 I don't know.
00:16:23.000 This is not really a sex thing.
00:16:25.000 This is like an internet thing. 0.99
00:16:26.000 It's like, I don't even think it's real shit. 0.99
00:16:28.000 No. 0.99
00:16:29.000 It's not, right?
00:16:29.000 It wasn't?
00:16:30.000 Really?
00:16:30.000 I think it's like chocolate sauce or something.
00:16:32.000 I saw one called two kids in one sandbox and it was all shit. 1.00
00:16:40.000 So these girls are licking it. 1.00
00:16:42.000 So it wasn't real? 1.00
00:16:45.000 It's fucking nasty. 0.99
00:16:46.000 What's that supposed to be? 0.99
00:16:47.000 Yeah, you want to see the video?
00:16:48.000 Let's show her the video. 0.98
00:16:49.000 Now that you know that it's only ice cream.
00:16:54.000 I've never heard of this.
00:16:55.000 I can't believe you've never heard of this.
00:16:56.000 Well, I had my first baby in seventh grade.
00:16:58.000 I was a mom. 0.99
00:16:59.000 I had shit to do like breastfeed. 1.00
00:17:00.000 I understand. 0.99
00:17:01.000 But there was quite a few videos of people doing reactions.
00:17:05.000 Me and Red Band did one. 0.98
00:17:06.000 Really?
00:17:07.000 Yeah.
00:17:09.000 I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe.
00:17:10.000 Two girls in a cup. 0.96
00:17:11.000 Yeah, it's a disgusting video, but there was like a whole bunch of those. 0.99
00:17:15.000 Is that porn? 0.94
00:17:16.000 Yeah. 0.90
00:17:17.000 It was on Pornhub.
00:17:18.000 That's how we found it.
00:17:20.000 Yeah.
00:17:20.000 What was you doing on Pornhub?
00:17:21.000 Everybody was on Pornhub.
00:17:23.000 Did I ever tell you when I got sent to alternative school for selling porn?
00:17:27.000 What?
00:17:29.000 I sent to alternative school for selling porn in fifth grade.
00:17:32.000 For selling?
00:17:32.000 Yeah, what happened was, there was a play in town that I wanted to go see, and my parents wouldn't give me money to go see it, so I said I was going to make it myself.
00:17:39.000 And I was snooping through my brother's bedroom one day, and I found, like, big booty car wash under his bed, and big titty palooza, and all this stuff.
00:17:46.000 And that's what we was talking about at school, was porn.
00:17:48.000 So I took his DVDs, and I was selling them at the bathroom for $5 a pop.
00:17:54.000 And then somebody snitched.
00:17:56.000 I got about $20 in and somebody snitched.
00:17:59.000 They went to the counselor and she came.
00:18:01.000 I remember I was sitting in class and she came and she knocked on the door.
00:18:04.000 She said, can I see Mr. Cooper, please?
00:18:06.000 And I didn't I didn't go back for the whole year.
00:18:08.000 I was in alternative school.
00:18:09.000 What is alternative school?
00:18:11.000 It was like it was like they called it Crossroads, which was like you had to like it was like you had to go across town and And you had to wear a button-up shirt and tuck in your pants.
00:18:21.000 They tried to make them transform.
00:18:22.000 They made peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.
00:18:25.000 They changed you.
00:18:26.000 I sent my son there for talking a lot.
00:18:29.000 You sent him there?
00:18:31.000 For talking a lot? 1.00
00:18:32.000 Because he was silly as fuck. 1.00
00:18:34.000 I wonder where he got that. 1.00
00:18:38.000 Good question.
00:18:38.000 He already wasn't making good grades.
00:18:41.000 He just giggling and laughing. 0.99
00:18:43.000 I said, okay, so I'm going to see you down here with the kids who don't rob the grocery store and, you know, the gas station and shit. 0.98
00:18:50.000 And so his first day down, the man said, what you do? 0.98
00:18:53.000 He said I was laughing in class.
00:18:55.000 He knew he didn't fit, but I made him do 30 days.
00:18:58.000 Wow.
00:18:59.000 30 days?
00:19:00.000 Mm-hmm.
00:19:00.000 Did it help?
00:19:02.000 Yeah, but he wasn't ever no A student anyway, but he stopped laughing in class.
00:19:08.000 He didn't want to go back to alternative school?
00:19:10.000 He didn't like it because they made him exercise and run.
00:19:13.000 It was kind of like a military style when I was in Atlanta.
00:19:17.000 How long was this process between the time that you had your first deal and you actually filmed the pilot that I saw?
00:19:25.000 Four years.
00:19:26.000 Four years.
00:19:27.000 It was four years.
00:19:28.000 Three writers.
00:19:30.000 It was hard because you would think.
00:19:34.000 I just got to Hollywood and I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to be on Fox.
00:19:38.000 And then you start watching other people, other comics.
00:19:41.000 You know your show was there and then that show get bumped.
00:19:44.000 And you're like, what the hell is going on?
00:19:46.000 And then, you know, when they get to the point where they don't like it, they throw it away.
00:19:50.000 They say, oh, well, we don't want it.
00:19:52.000 But thank God for Lee Daniel, every time they had to switch or didn't want it or the country, he made them resign.
00:19:59.000 I don't know what kind of magic he had.
00:20:01.000 Well, baby, he kept saving me.
00:20:04.000 I swear, nobody get three and four chances at the same project. 1.00
00:20:07.000 You know that shit. 1.00
00:20:08.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:08.000 And I just kept getting chances. 1.00
00:20:10.000 And he told me before I met this kid, he said, I promise you, I'm gonna get this show picked up.
00:20:18.000 Nobody gets three or four chances, especially today when they don't do very many sitcoms.
00:20:22.000 No.
00:20:23.000 When I was on the news radio show in the 90s, there was only sitcoms.
00:20:27.000 There was no reality shows back then.
00:20:30.000 So sitcoms were on every night, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and it was like all, like from 8 p.m.
00:20:37.000 on, it was sitcoms.
00:20:38.000 There was a lot of sitcoms, a lot of opportunity to get shows.
00:20:41.000 And, you know, and when you didn't have, like with me, I wasn't really familiar with Hollywood, but I did meet a friend who's the guy who actually found me, who listened to Maren and heard about my book coming out at the time, and then he listened to my episode you dropped, and they called me in to Imagine,
00:20:58.000 which is Ron Howard.
00:21:00.000 Yeah.
00:21:00.000 And John Rattler.
00:21:02.000 And then I just connected with him.
00:21:04.000 We like family now. 0.99
00:21:05.000 I go over to his house and I sleep and I shit in his bathroom, wrap my head on the wall. 0.99
00:21:12.000 But we're like family now. 0.98
00:21:14.000 You know, he's the only producer, executive producer, that's still on the project when it started, him and Lee Daniel.
00:21:21.000 But with those two, they really held me together.
00:21:23.000 Even when we shot the pilot, when Hulu picked it up, and everybody was ecstatic and happy. 0.99
00:21:29.000 And I tell you, I pick up on Spirits, the weirdest shit. 0.97
00:21:32.000 And you've got all of these executives. 0.99
00:21:34.000 Let me just go back a little bit.
00:21:36.000 So, we go, and it's time.
00:21:38.000 They put me in acting classes.
00:21:40.000 Because once we sell the show, I sell Lee.
00:21:43.000 They gave her a show not knowing she could act.
00:21:45.000 I said, we sell it in the room, so I said, hey, Lee.
00:21:48.000 He said, what?
00:21:49.000 I said, y'all gonna ask me, can I act? 1.00
00:21:52.000 He said, bitch, you can't act. 1.00
00:21:54.000 I said, no, I can't act, motherfucker. 1.00
00:21:56.000 I'm a comedian. 1.00
00:21:58.000 Because, you know, most comedians, I can act.
00:22:00.000 I want it to be good. 0.95
00:22:01.000 I didn't want to be just take your money and put out a shitty project. 0.84
00:22:05.000 And I was like, no. 1.00
00:22:05.000 He was like, the bitch can't act. 1.00
00:22:07.000 Get us some acting classes. 1.00
00:22:08.000 That's what we tell the people at Fox.
00:22:09.000 So they immediately put me in acting classes. 0.98
00:22:11.000 So when we started, when me and him get together and we get to the process of getting ready to get it picked up, Joe, I didn't know what the fuck a table read was. 0.99
00:22:19.000 I'm like, what the fuck is a table read? 0.98
00:22:21.000 And he was like, I said, I gotta read out loud? 1.00
00:22:23.000 I ain't did this shit in a long goddamn time. 0.99
00:22:25.000 So I go on the internet and I Google table read, and I said, we gotta come up. 1.00
00:22:28.000 I said, we gotta backdoor these motherfuckers. 1.00
00:22:29.000 He's like, what are you talking about? 1.00
00:22:30.000 I said, we gotta get somebody, and I gotta practice reading out loud. 1.00
00:22:33.000 Because if they hear me read out loud today, they gonna shut this motherfucker down. 1.00
00:22:46.000 I can picture you. 1.00
00:22:48.000 I can picture you doing this.
00:22:50.000 Oh my God. 1.00
00:22:51.000 Yo, I said, they're going to shut this motherfucker down. 1.00
00:22:53.000 So, me and him flew. 0.99
00:22:56.000 I'm not lying. 0.98
00:22:57.000 Me and him flew to L.A. We got our friends and shit. 0.99
00:22:59.000 We sat around the table. 0.99
00:23:00.000 I was so fucking horrible. 0.99
00:23:02.000 My friend, Vincent Brownie said, they might take the show from you. 1.00
00:23:09.000 I said, fuck you, motherfucker. 1.00
00:23:11.000 She wasn't that bad, though. 1.00
00:23:12.000 She wasn't that bad.
00:23:13.000 She was actually surprising.
00:23:14.000 Thank God it was her.
00:23:16.000 She was playing herself, praise the Lord.
00:23:18.000 But she actually had instinct.
00:23:21.000 She had instinct.
00:23:22.000 That was the practice table read I'm talking about.
00:23:24.000 Yeah, it was just about putting it in the right...
00:23:26.000 But we practiced quite a few times.
00:23:28.000 Me and him flew out to L.A. together, and we practiced with friends and stuff. 0.98
00:23:33.000 And when we got to the table read, I fucked them up, Joe. 0.99
00:23:37.000 I fucked them up. 1.00
00:23:38.000 I had that strip, boy. 1.00
00:23:39.000 I had them words flowing out of my mouth like hot chili, goddammit. 0.82
00:23:45.000 And they was like, oh my god, she can read.
00:23:47.000 I'm like...
00:23:52.000 Oh my god, she can read! 0.99
00:23:55.000 I'm like, they ain't never gave a motherfucker a show who couldn't read, okay? 0.99
00:23:59.000 So I first ever had to have cue cards. 0.98
00:24:02.000 But do you know the story of Charlie Burnett?
00:24:04.000 Mm-mm.
00:24:04.000 Charlie Burnett was a hilarious comedian who used to do street performance.
00:24:09.000 And Dave Chappelle learned a lot of how to do street performance from him.
00:24:13.000 Because Dave used to do that, too.
00:24:14.000 Dave would just pull up to a place and say, ladies and gentlemen, and start doing a show.
00:24:18.000 Charlie Burnett, there's videos of him doing it In, I think, Washington Square Park in New York City.
00:24:24.000 Charlie got SNL. He didn't know how to read.
00:24:28.000 He couldn't read.
00:24:29.000 He couldn't read.
00:24:29.000 He was illiterate.
00:24:31.000 Oh, I'm not illiterate. 1.00
00:24:32.000 I just had to brush up on shit. 0.99
00:24:34.000 But they gave him Saturday Night Live. 1.00
00:24:35.000 He was that good.
00:24:36.000 Wow.
00:24:37.000 And he would have been a giant star.
00:24:39.000 How did it go?
00:24:40.000 It didn't.
00:24:41.000 They fired him.
00:24:42.000 Wow.
00:24:42.000 Because he couldn't read?
00:24:43.000 Because he couldn't read.
00:24:44.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:24:44.000 Damn. 1.00
00:24:45.000 That was it. 1.00
00:24:45.000 Couldn't nobody tell him his lines in his ear? 1.00
00:24:47.000 Here's Charlie Barnett. 0.93
00:24:49.000 Oh, Lord, he black, too.
00:24:50.000 I thought you were talking about a white man.
00:24:51.000 I'm telling you, he was so talented and so captivating.
00:24:54.000 We're in the village.
00:24:55.000 I love the village.
00:24:56.000 We got a nice, mixed crowd.
00:24:58.000 I mean, look what we got.
00:24:59.000 We got white folks.
00:25:02.000 We got black folks.
00:25:05.000 We got Puerto Ricans. 0.72
00:25:08.000 Puerto Ricans.
00:25:10.000 Puerto Ricans. 1.00
00:25:14.000 We got a lot of fucking Puerto Ricans! 1.00
00:25:17.000 But I'm not gonna fuck with the Puerto Ricans, man, cause y'all born with knives! 1.00
00:25:31.000 Charlie was brilliant. 1.00
00:25:33.000 I saw him perform live in New York City at Catch Rising Star in like the early 90s.
00:25:39.000 I never heard of him.
00:25:41.000 He died.
00:25:42.000 I think he died of...
00:25:44.000 COVID? I want to say, I think it was HIV. Was that what it is?
00:25:53.000 Dying of something.
00:25:55.000 We all die of something.
00:25:58.000 Yeah.
00:25:59.000 Never heard of it.
00:26:00.000 Who knows what would have happened if he got SNL. I think he would have been a giant star.
00:26:03.000 He was brilliant.
00:26:04.000 He was so...
00:26:05.000 He just captivated.
00:26:07.000 But also I think it's about also taking time with people like that.
00:26:10.000 Because I feel like a lot of times people just get thrown into the machine and nobody's there to actually guide them through the machine.
00:26:16.000 Thank God we had each other to guide each other.
00:26:19.000 But I can imagine...
00:26:20.000 He didn't teach me how to read.
00:26:20.000 I knew how to read.
00:26:21.000 See, the thing is like...
00:26:23.000 It's hard to learn how to be that guy.
00:26:27.000 It's easy to learn how to read. 0.99
00:26:28.000 To be a Charlie Burnett is fucking good luck. 0.97
00:26:31.000 How are you going to figure out how to do that? 0.98
00:26:33.000 But to learn how to read, a lot of people can learn how to read.
00:26:36.000 But that's what I mean.
00:26:37.000 Just throw him on the set and tell him his lines.
00:26:40.000 Just actually take the time to be like, here's your line.
00:26:43.000 This is what you say here.
00:26:44.000 The problem is that SNL, like, they learn the day of, right? 1.00
00:26:48.000 Like, there's a lot of, like, shit. 0.99
00:26:50.000 It's only a week process to create these sketches that they do every Saturday. 0.99
00:26:54.000 Now, if I couldn't read like that, and I feel like I had that kind of talent, I've been brushing up on my sheet early, so when they come, I'm here.
00:27:02.000 Somebody should have just hooked them up.
00:27:04.000 Somebody should have just, like, got them lessons.
00:27:06.000 It's not that hard.
00:27:08.000 Something.
00:27:08.000 Something.
00:27:08.000 So it's time to shoot the pilot, and I tell you, I pick up on spirits.
00:27:13.000 So I'm walking around that day, and I said, they're not going to pick it up.
00:27:16.000 And everybody's like, what are you talking about?
00:27:18.000 I said, my inner spirit said they're not going to pick up the show.
00:27:22.000 My spirit.
00:27:23.000 It's an energy that I feel.
00:27:25.000 I can almost tell what people...
00:27:26.000 I can tell how you feel about me. 1.00
00:27:28.000 I can tell when you're being fake a piece of shit. 1.00
00:27:30.000 I just know when somebody's honest. 1.00
00:27:32.000 Honestly, I don't know how, but...
00:27:34.000 80% of the time, I'm pretty right.
00:27:36.000 I'm lying, Jordan. 0.99
00:27:37.000 So I'm telling all the execs, they're like, oh my God, the first show, you fucking killed it. 0.82
00:27:41.000 So I pulled my friend, John Rattler, to the side, who wanted the executive producer who heard me on the podcast. 0.96
00:27:46.000 I said, they're not going to pick it up.
00:27:47.000 He's like, why you say that? 0.98
00:27:48.000 I said, nobody's fucking listening to me. 0.99
00:27:50.000 We got Debbie Allen on the floor, shooting the pilot. 1.00
00:27:53.000 And I'm trying to tell Jordan, because he's my right-hand man.
00:27:55.000 I said, they're not going to pick it up.
00:27:56.000 And I said, I'm not going to name anything.
00:27:59.000 I said, it's the executive who makes the decision.
00:28:05.000 We're good to go.
00:28:09.000 We're good to go.
00:28:23.000 That originally, that executive didn't really like it. 0.80
00:28:26.000 And so they were going to test it to kind of find backup of, like, audiences don't really fuck with it.
00:28:31.000 Like, they're not going to like it. 0.92
00:28:32.000 Then they tested it.
00:28:33.000 It was one of the highest tested pilots ever, as far as testing pilots go for Hulu.
00:28:39.000 I believe that.
00:28:40.000 And Steel was like, I really don't get it.
00:28:43.000 I don't get why she's yelling at her kids.
00:28:44.000 I don't get why she's cursing.
00:28:45.000 I don't get why.
00:28:46.000 And that's what I tried to tell them, Joe.
00:28:49.000 I said, that energy that I felt off that certain person that day, I knew they were not going to pick it up.
00:28:56.000 And that was the decision maker there.
00:28:58.000 So I said, and I just told him, I said, and he was like, we waited six months before they dropped it.
00:29:03.000 I knew in my heart. 0.99
00:29:04.000 I told him almost every day, I said, they're not going to pick this shit up. 0.98
00:29:09.000 I think what it was, it was so many Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, those powerful names connected to it. 0.97
00:29:16.000 What probably took so long, and then, you know, they probably tested it again, and what was so crazy, it's over now, I can say, but my daughter, my daughter friend worked at a testing site.
00:29:27.000 They sent it to Atlanta, and she called my daughter in secret. 0.97
00:29:31.000 She said, I don't supposed to tell you this, but your mama pilot just tested off the fucking roof, and they tested in Alpharetta, Georgia. 1.00
00:29:38.000 That's white as white can get in Atlanta. 1.00
00:29:40.000 And I was like, and I called him and I was like, they tested fucking pilot. 0.99
00:29:44.000 They told us Chicago, but it ended up in Atlanta. 0.62
00:29:47.000 And I just kept telling him, I said, I always felt like it would find a home.
00:29:51.000 I really did.
00:29:52.000 But I knew Hulu was not going to pick it up.
00:29:55.000 Now, I ain't mad because Hulu did a wonderful job in helping us shape the pilot and what it is.
00:30:00.000 We got wonderful notes from them. 0.99
00:30:03.000 I mean, we thought we had some shit. 0.98
00:30:05.000 When Hulu started putting their little, and we came in. 1.00
00:30:08.000 Smart, so smart. 1.00
00:30:08.000 Oh, man, they made that pilot a fucking home run. 1.00
00:30:12.000 They know what they're doing in Hulu. 0.99
00:30:13.000 They got some great shows.
00:30:14.000 Yeah, but this wasn't premium enough. 1.00
00:30:17.000 That's so stupid. 1.00
00:30:18.000 What the fuck does that mean? 1.00
00:30:19.000 It wasn't premium content. 0.81
00:30:22.000 They also don't have any original multicams.
00:30:24.000 They have traditional sitcoms like old stuff like My Wife and Kids and I Love Lucy, but they don't have original sitcoms.
00:30:32.000 Right.
00:30:32.000 And I think that there, I think there was also, it was like, because that hadn't happened before we did that pilot.
00:30:36.000 Like nobody had like said, fucking motherfucker and all this stuff and talked about, literally our pilot is about a school shooting and somehow we made it funny. 0.98
00:30:44.000 Do you think it's the language? 0.99
00:30:45.000 Do you think the language was why they said it wasn't premium content? 0.99
00:30:49.000 That's just such a fucking vague statement. 0.98
00:30:51.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:30:52.000 It's not premium content.
00:30:53.000 Because I had to ask myself, what do premium mean?
00:30:55.000 Is that baloney with or without the garlic? 1.00
00:30:58.000 It's just a bullshit statement. 0.99
00:30:59.000 It doesn't mean anything. 1.00
00:31:00.000 Like, what does that mean?
00:31:01.000 I don't know.
00:31:02.000 I was trying to figure out what did he mean.
00:31:04.000 But meanwhile, tested high.
00:31:05.000 Tested high every time.
00:31:06.000 Well, that's what premium means.
00:31:08.000 That's what premium means?
00:31:09.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:31:09.000 Do people enjoy the shit out of it? 0.99
00:31:11.000 Yeah, then it's premium. 0.98
00:31:12.000 That's what I thought.
00:31:14.000 And that's what the reason they say.
00:31:15.000 It didn't fit their platform.
00:31:17.000 So you guys started on Fox.
00:31:18.000 Fox was the first place you took it to.
00:31:20.000 And then it went to Hulu.
00:31:21.000 It's Fox, then Fox Studios.
00:31:24.000 Fox 21. And then Julio.
00:31:25.000 So Fox, Fox Studio, which is the 21 plus.
00:31:30.000 Yep.
00:31:30.000 And then Hulu.
00:31:32.000 And then after they dropped it last year, Valentine's Day...
00:31:37.000 I got a call from B.E.T. Plus.
00:31:40.000 I didn't even know B.E.T. had a plus.
00:31:43.000 The whole plus thing is so weird.
00:31:45.000 Like Disney Plus.
00:31:46.000 Yeah.
00:31:46.000 I was like, what is B.E.T. Plus?
00:31:49.000 I don't watch a lot of TV because I'm so fucking busy. 0.91
00:31:51.000 I mean, I watch The Handmaid's Tale. 0.99
00:31:53.000 I mean, I like shoot-em-up shit like that. 0.99
00:31:57.000 Is that a shoot-em-up show? 1.00
00:31:59.000 No, Handmaid's is cutting off white clicks.
00:32:01.000 I can't watch that show. 0.97
00:32:02.000 Oh, that show's so goddamn good. 0.97
00:32:03.000 I watched it one time. 0.95
00:32:04.000 Oh, you gotta get past the pilot.
00:32:06.000 No, no.
00:32:06.000 Oh, that and Queen of the South?
00:32:09.000 Uh-uh. 1.00
00:32:09.000 Oh, that shit's so fucking good, Joe. 1.00
00:32:11.000 Really? 1.00
00:32:11.000 You never cheered for white women to whoop somebody's ass. 1.00
00:32:16.000 Women, period. 1.00
00:32:17.000 Watch The Handmaid's Tale.
00:32:19.000 My wife is obsessed with it.
00:32:20.000 Oh, my God.
00:32:22.000 I watch The Handmaid's Tale. 1.00
00:32:23.000 I be like, get that motherfucker. 1.00
00:32:25.000 I be screaming at my lap. 1.00
00:32:26.000 That's the only thing I watch is The Handmaid's Tale.
00:32:29.000 I think it's too possible that it could happen.
00:32:31.000 That's what freaks me out.
00:32:33.000 It's very near future. 1.00
00:32:35.000 Especially when Trump was in office, you were like, oh shit. 1.00
00:32:38.000 Nobody's going to control my pussy. 1.00
00:32:39.000 Nobody's going to control. 1.00
00:32:40.000 This is my pussy. 1.00
00:32:41.000 I believe that. 1.00
00:32:42.000 If I want to put firecrackers in and blow it up, that's my pussy. 1.00
00:32:45.000 This is my 4th of July pussy. 1.00
00:32:46.000 You're not going to tell me what I can and cannot do. 1.00
00:32:49.000 Hey, I'm not trying... 0.99
00:32:50.000 And then they want to do everything to shut my vagina down. 1.00
00:32:52.000 Ain't nobody saying nothing about the men who clip their balls and can't have babies. 1.00
00:32:55.000 But what I supposed to do if I marry a man who got fucking dried balls, are you going to be mad then? 1.00
00:33:01.000 That's a good question. 1.00
00:33:02.000 Yeah.
00:33:05.000 Nobody talk about the men who take... 0.91
00:33:06.000 Dried balls? 1.00
00:33:07.000 Ain't that what happened to you when you clip your balls? 1.00
00:33:10.000 Hey, what you shooting, piss in me? 1.00
00:33:13.000 Just the container that loads of cum in. 1.00
00:33:17.000 The cum ain't no good. 1.00
00:33:18.000 You just cut the heads off the babies. 1.00
00:33:20.000 Yeah, it's like sperm, though. 0.98
00:33:22.000 Yeah, it's sperm with no hairs.
00:33:24.000 So it still shoots out whenever you get a vasectomy.
00:33:25.000 It's just not...
00:33:26.000 Yeah, it's just fake. 0.69
00:33:27.000 No sperm in it.
00:33:28.000 Yeah, I don't understand what it is.
00:33:29.000 What does happen?
00:33:30.000 That's a good question.
00:33:31.000 I don't have a vasectomy.
00:33:32.000 Because most sperms, they be wiggling. 1.00
00:33:34.000 They look like they got a little head on. 0.96
00:33:35.000 So when they clip your nuts, do they cut all the hairs off the sperm? 1.00
00:33:38.000 No, it's not like that. 0.80
00:33:39.000 They basically cut the doorway. 0.97
00:33:44.000 So there's different parts to sperm, like to jizz. 0.97
00:33:49.000 Here we go. 0.98
00:33:50.000 You will ejaculate semen, seminal fluid, after a vasectomy, but it will no longer contain sperm, the reproductive cells. 0.98
00:33:57.000 Once you have ejaculated about 20 times... 0.96
00:33:59.000 Okay, so you have to bang out 20 lobes because the boys are hanging out there waiting. 0.98
00:34:04.000 A vasectomy blocks the sperm made by the testes from reaching the semen. 0.96
00:34:08.000 Instead, the body absorbs the sperm, which is harmless.
00:34:11.000 There you go.
00:34:12.000 So when you first get them clipped, you still can make a few babies because you got to feel them hanging out.
00:34:18.000 Yeah, you have 19 loads left after the first one.
00:34:22.000 So after you get clipped, you got 19. I would look at it under a microscope.
00:34:26.000 I'd be like, what the fuck is in there? 0.99
00:34:28.000 You know, once you got past 21, I'd want to put a slide down and get that in there and see what the fuck it looks like. 1.00
00:34:34.000 Yeah, the hair's cut off. 0.99
00:34:36.000 There's no boys in there.
00:34:36.000 Yeah, no boys or girls.
00:34:38.000 Yeah, nothing.
00:34:39.000 But the boys that swim.
00:34:41.000 Can you see it under a microscope?
00:34:42.000 Can you see sperm?
00:34:43.000 That's a good question. 0.64
00:34:43.000 I never checked, but I want to now. 0.64
00:34:47.000 You can see a lot of shit. 0.99
00:34:49.000 I used to be a medical assistant. 1.00
00:34:50.000 I didn't know what the fuck I was looking at, but you would put STDs up under there and you could see that. 1.00
00:34:55.000 You could actually see that shit. 1.00
00:34:56.000 You could see the STDs? 1.00
00:34:57.000 You could see whatever those little shit was. 0.99
00:34:59.000 Do they look angry? 1.00
00:35:01.000 No, they look like a lot.
00:35:03.000 They look dirty.
00:35:03.000 I picture STDs like...
00:35:04.000 It's according to which one you get.
00:35:07.000 What's the worst one to get?
00:35:08.000 I don't know.
00:35:09.000 I only had Gunnaril.
00:35:10.000 Which one you had?
00:35:10.000 How was that bad?
00:35:11.000 Is that bad?
00:35:12.000 I never had any of them. 1.00
00:35:13.000 Well, I feel like flamethrowers got your pussy. 1.00
00:35:15.000 Oh, that's what I heard, right? 1.00
00:35:16.000 Didn't you say they used to have to come pick you up if somebody... 1.00
00:35:19.000 Fuck you, Joey. 1.00
00:35:21.000 If somebody gave you an STD, they had to get a bus? 1.00
00:35:24.000 Back in the day when you had an STD and they would knock on your door, one person would say, oh, I got an STD. They said, what's your partner?
00:35:31.000 So you start naming your partners.
00:35:32.000 So they go pick up the partners and they would give you a ride to the health department.
00:35:36.000 Wow.
00:35:37.000 Isn't that wild?
00:35:38.000 That is wild.
00:35:38.000 Yeah, they couldn't come get me all the time.
00:35:44.000 I'm like, you again, motherfucker, who reported me? 1.00
00:35:46.000 Who reported me? 1.00
00:35:47.000 He's like, hey, Pat, come on in.
00:35:49.000 You did get to know they name.
00:35:52.000 So when does your show start airing?
00:35:56.000 August 12th.
00:35:57.000 August 12th.
00:35:57.000 Oh, two days.
00:35:58.000 Two days from now.
00:35:59.000 All ten episodes, drop at once.
00:36:00.000 Oh, that's nice.
00:36:01.000 Isn't that beautiful about today?
00:36:03.000 So if someone loves your show, they can just binge?
00:36:05.000 Just binge.
00:36:06.000 And I think they're going to be able to binge.
00:36:08.000 I just love some of the episodes.
00:36:10.000 Like we did a Him, Dem, and Dare episode.
00:36:13.000 Ginger Nonconforming.
00:36:14.000 Ginger Nonconforming.
00:36:14.000 I had never heard of that before.
00:36:16.000 Yeah.
00:36:16.000 You did a gender non-conforming episode?
00:36:18.000 It is so fucking funny, Joe. 0.99
00:36:20.000 We did one about porn. 0.99
00:36:24.000 We did an N-word.
00:36:27.000 Derogatory words.
00:36:29.000 Derogatory words.
00:36:30.000 Yeah, and we used them all.
00:36:31.000 Wow.
00:36:32.000 That's the beautiful thing about the internet, too.
00:36:34.000 About streaming.
00:36:35.000 You can do it just like you do your act.
00:36:37.000 You can just say it.
00:36:38.000 And it's not, we're just throwing out derogatory words.
00:36:41.000 We talked about, you know, like how your kids, like, who was that?
00:36:45.000 Matt Damon just said he used the F word.
00:36:48.000 Was that Matt Damon?
00:36:49.000 Yeah, that was Matt Damon.
00:36:49.000 Yeah, and he said, my daughter told me not to use that.
00:36:52.000 And when I heard Matt Damon say that, it was like, that's what the episode is about.
00:36:56.000 How kids today was like, oh, mama, you can't say that anymore.
00:36:58.000 Like, my daughter is gay, right?
00:37:00.000 We all know. 0.97
00:37:00.000 I told you that a hundred times. 0.97
00:37:02.000 Well, I'm 49 years old.
00:37:04.000 I grew up saying bulldiger, right?
00:37:06.000 And my daughter was like, you can't call me a bulldiger. 0.99
00:37:08.000 I'm like, well, they used to call you.
00:37:10.000 I haven't even heard bulldiger.
00:37:11.000 I've heard bulldike. 0.63
00:37:12.000 It's like a bulldagger, like a dagger.
00:37:15.000 It's something in the South. 0.98
00:37:16.000 It's a black thing in the South. 0.99
00:37:17.000 That's what they call lesbians. 1.00
00:37:19.000 Bulldiger, that's what I say. 0.81
00:37:20.000 What's the correct form?
00:37:21.000 Dagger.
00:37:21.000 Are you saying dagger?
00:37:23.000 Bulldagger?
00:37:24.000 I don't know.
00:37:24.000 I'm saying dagger.
00:37:25.000 I thought you were saying like bulldike.
00:37:26.000 Bulldigo.
00:37:28.000 Bulldyke. 0.97
00:37:28.000 Have you heard that before, Jamie? 0.97
00:37:30.000 It's a southern thing.
00:37:31.000 It's a southern thing.
00:37:32.000 Trying to parse through everything right now.
00:37:34.000 It's a southern thing.
00:37:35.000 But that's what that episode's literally about.
00:37:37.000 It's like a generation gap.
00:37:38.000 But my daughter stopped me and she said, you know, she's like, Mama, that's like a white person call you the N-word. 0.95
00:37:44.000 I said, Bulldyke is nigga now? 1.00
00:37:46.000 So I stopped saying it. 0.95
00:37:48.000 I literally stopped saying.
00:37:50.000 And that's what the episode is about.
00:37:51.000 Because a lot of times young people come to older people and say, hey, you can't say that.
00:37:56.000 You know, you can't say words like that.
00:37:58.000 And that's what the episode, so when Matt Damon came out and...
00:38:01.000 There it is, bull daggers.
00:38:03.000 Bull daggers. 1.00
00:38:03.000 This is a prison term for macho lesbians. 1.00
00:38:06.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:38:07.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:38:07.000 That's a rough one. 1.00
00:38:09.000 Those two girls are bull daggers? 1.00
00:38:10.000 Well, I don't know about those two.
00:38:12.000 Is that what they're saying? 0.87
00:38:13.000 But down south, when I was little, everybody was a bull dagger if they was gay. 0.96
00:38:16.000 Right. 0.91
00:38:17.000 The word lesbian wasn't around. 1.00
00:38:19.000 You was gay, you was a bulldog. 1.00
00:38:20.000 And it's basically like, for being within the community, it's like, oh, it's funny how, especially black people in those conversations, it feels like they separate. 0.99
00:38:30.000 If you're gay and you're black, you can't be both. 1.00
00:38:33.000 It's like, oh, you can't. 1.00
00:38:34.000 I can say bulldog, but you can't say nigger. 1.00
00:38:36.000 But it's like, what if you a nigger and a bulldog? 1.00
00:38:38.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:38:39.000 Words are just how words hurt, but it hurts because of what we put onto them.
00:38:44.000 You know Tim Dillon?
00:38:46.000 Do you know Tim Dillon?
00:38:47.000 Hilarious.
00:38:48.000 Very funny comedian. 0.77
00:38:49.000 He's gay. 0.99
00:38:49.000 And he got in trouble for saying dyke. 0.99
00:38:52.000 He's like, I can't say it? 1.00
00:38:54.000 And he's like, what the fuck? 1.00
00:38:55.000 He's like, I'm gay. 1.00
00:38:56.000 I can't say that.
00:38:57.000 Like, people were mad at him for saying that.
00:38:59.000 And they're probably gonna be mad at me for saying this a couple times.
00:39:01.000 But, you know, that whole conversation was, my daughter sat me down.
00:39:04.000 She was like, you can't say these words.
00:39:07.000 Right.
00:39:07.000 But, you know, and I'm like, well, okay.
00:39:09.000 You know, and that's what the episode is about. 0.99
00:39:11.000 So the episodes are all about real life shit. 0.99
00:39:14.000 That happened to me. 0.98
00:39:15.000 Even to him, them, and Darren D., What is it called?
00:39:18.000 Ginger nonconforming.
00:39:19.000 Ginger nonconforming.
00:39:20.000 My daughter, Gariana, brings home a friend in real life.
00:39:25.000 I mean, but he ended up writing it.
00:39:26.000 And she brought one over, and I was confused.
00:39:29.000 Like I said, she brought one over.
00:39:31.000 I mean, she brought...
00:39:31.000 I don't know what to say.
00:39:33.000 It's like, what do we say about this?
00:39:36.000 Who are you?
00:39:36.000 What are you?
00:39:37.000 Well, it's like...
00:39:39.000 I mean, it was a weird conversation, but with the great writing of Jordan Cooper and all of us putting it together, we was able to...
00:39:46.000 It was a teaching moment.
00:39:48.000 Because a lot of people don't know...
00:39:49.000 For everybody.
00:39:50.000 For everybody.
00:39:50.000 Him, them, and there is.
00:39:52.000 Right. 1.00
00:39:52.000 You know, I've never heard that shit before. 1.00
00:39:54.000 Right. 0.99
00:39:55.000 Yeah, the they, them pronouns.
00:39:59.000 Yes, the pronouns.
00:40:00.000 It's very hard to put together in sentences correctly.
00:40:03.000 It took time for me.
00:40:05.000 I had never heard of that before I went to New York and I went to the new school in New York.
00:40:10.000 And I remember the first day of orientation.
00:40:12.000 They were like, alright, what is everybody's pronouns?
00:40:14.000 I was like...
00:40:34.000 Pronounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounounoun That's literally what she says in the show.
00:40:44.000 She says, what's the one?
00:40:46.000 It's like, oh, one of the kids is like, who is that?
00:40:49.000 And she says, oh, his name is Jesse.
00:40:51.000 We're like, Nadahima.
00:40:52.000 Oh, her name, Nadahima. 0.98
00:40:53.000 The nigga named Jesse, all right? 1.00
00:40:59.000 Which is a very good episode. 0.66
00:41:02.000 It's one of my favorites.
00:41:03.000 And I remember when people would talk about the episode, who works at BET Plus, they're like, oh, I cannot get that out of my head. 0.75
00:41:09.000 It's so fucking funny.
00:41:10.000 Well, the beautiful thing about your personality is you could attach it and you could have so many subjects. 0.98
00:41:16.000 There's so many things that you could talk about on your show that you have no boundaries.
00:41:23.000 You're free.
00:41:25.000 Because the way you speak, the way you're loose and fun, you have no boundaries.
00:41:30.000 For a sitcom writer, oh my god, you're a goldmine.
00:41:34.000 It's gold.
00:41:35.000 And that's what I pitched it as.
00:41:37.000 I said, I want to make Pat the black female Archie Bunker. 1.00
00:41:44.000 Funnier though.
00:41:45.000 Funnier.
00:41:46.000 That's what I want to make if you haven't seen it.
00:41:48.000 And that's who she is.
00:41:49.000 And it's all in love.
00:41:51.000 You know what I mean?
00:41:52.000 But she just says what she wants to say.
00:41:54.000 And we can go from up and down with topics.
00:41:56.000 You know what I mean?
00:41:57.000 And so that's what the show is. 0.99
00:41:59.000 I like to call sitcoms a Trojan horse because you get to talk about real shit, but we get to laugh on the web. 0.96
00:42:04.000 What was so crazy, Joe, is like when we finally started writing, we spent almost two years before we got to this point, and all of a sudden this kid just wipe out this fucking phone and say, oh yeah, you said this, this, that. 0.99
00:42:18.000 Everything he ever thought I said funny, this motherfucker had put it in his phone, and a lot of it made it in the show. 0.98
00:42:24.000 And I'm like, you write down what I say? 0.99
00:42:26.000 He was like, that's the funniest shit when you ain't even trying to be funny. 0.96
00:42:30.000 Yeah, that's smart though, because you've got to capture those things and you forget them. 0.99
00:42:34.000 Yeah, and he just had this whole list, the shit Ms. Pat say. 1.00
00:42:38.000 And he whipped that shit out. 1.00
00:42:40.000 I was like, you been recording and keeping note every time. 1.00
00:42:43.000 I would see him typing, but I didn't know he was typing the shit I had said that was so fucking stupid. 1.00
00:42:48.000 Jordan, did you always know you wanted to be a writer? 1.00
00:42:50.000 Absolutely, yeah.
00:42:51.000 Always?
00:42:52.000 I started writing plays when I was like seven.
00:42:54.000 Really?
00:42:55.000 Yeah, in my mom's living room.
00:42:56.000 I would always do plays in the living room.
00:42:58.000 I would cut out my mama's weave and make wigs. 0.99
00:43:00.000 Yeah.
00:43:00.000 I would play Michael Jackson, cut up her weave, have a little curl coming down.
00:43:04.000 I just always love...
00:43:06.000 And sitcoms for me, that's why I kept watching them, because that was the closest to theater I could get a lot of times, with that live audience, you know what I mean?
00:43:15.000 Fast forward for Christmas was like box sets of I Love Lucy or the Golden Girls or Martin or Good Times.
00:43:21.000 And I think that's why it made so much sense whenever we wrote the pilot.
00:43:26.000 And they were like, how the hell you didn't go to school for writing TV? It was just like, I just studied.
00:43:31.000 I've just been doing it all my life.
00:43:33.000 I watched I Love Lucy the other day with my 11-year-old.
00:43:36.000 We sat and watched it with her, and I was like, I just want to show you this.
00:43:39.000 She's like, I want to watch this.
00:43:40.000 I go, just watch it, please.
00:43:42.000 I go, we could change the channel.
00:43:43.000 After a while, we'll watch whatever you want to watch.
00:43:45.000 I go, I just want you to see what people were like in the 1950s.
00:43:49.000 And you could see, like, a few minutes in, her eyes were like, what is this?
00:43:53.000 I was like, this is how people thought acting was.
00:43:56.000 Like, it was so...
00:43:57.000 In the episode, Lucy thought that Ricky was trying to kill her. 0.96
00:44:01.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:02.000 Did you ever see that episode?
00:44:03.000 We saw all of them.
00:44:04.000 It's so clunky.
00:44:05.000 It's so odd.
00:44:06.000 Like, the way they did it, you know, just the way, you know, Ricky's talking on the phone and Lucy's behind him like, ooh!
00:44:12.000 Like, everything was, like, big and over the top.
00:44:14.000 And you could tell she got into it after a while.
00:44:17.000 She's like, wow, this is so weird.
00:44:18.000 I go, honey, you got to realize that when this show was being made, there was only, like, 30 years of motion pictures.
00:44:26.000 Yeah.
00:44:26.000 I mean, they really had just started.
00:44:28.000 I mean, think about a movie, right, from 1990, right?
00:44:33.000 That's not that long ago.
00:44:35.000 There's a lot of movies from the 90s.
00:44:36.000 You can watch those movies.
00:44:37.000 People watch them all the time. 1.00
00:44:38.000 That fucking Rappofolia scared the shit out of me. 1.00
00:44:39.000 I watch them like, don't fake Rappofolia. 1.00
00:44:42.000 What the hell is that? 1.00
00:44:43.000 The fucking spider movie. 1.00
00:44:44.000 Correct. 1.00
00:44:44.000 Oh, arachnophobia. 1.00
00:44:45.000 Yeah, that one now, that one now.
00:44:46.000 But I mean, you know, like the movie Alien, the first movie Alien, that's from 1979, right?
00:44:52.000 Wow.
00:44:53.000 That's the long fucking time ago, but it's an amazing movie. 0.95
00:44:55.000 You watch it still to this day. 0.94
00:44:57.000 So I was trying to tell her, I go, they had just figured this out.
00:45:00.000 Yeah.
00:45:01.000 They had The Honeymooners and a couple other sitcoms.
00:45:04.000 They had just figured out motion pictures.
00:45:06.000 But that's what made it dynamic.
00:45:08.000 Multicamp sitcom had never happened before.
00:45:10.000 And what happened was, is that Lucy was pregnant.
00:45:13.000 So basically they had been married for like five years, right?
00:45:16.000 And then Lucy was like, oh, I'm losing my husband. 0.99
00:45:18.000 He's out cheating with other bitches. 1.00
00:45:19.000 I need to do something to get him back home. 1.00
00:45:21.000 And so she was like, oh, we can do a show together.
00:45:23.000 Let's do a show together.
00:45:24.000 And so she went to CBS and she was like, hey, I want to do a show with my husband.
00:45:28.000 And they were like, are you kidding me?
00:45:30.000 Like, nobody's going to believe you're married to a Cuban, like a Latino man. 1.00
00:45:33.000 Like, what are you talking? 1.00
00:45:33.000 She was like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00
00:45:34.000 I am married to a Cuban. 1.00
00:45:35.000 And so they were like, yes, absolutely.
00:45:40.000 CBS executives did not believe.
00:45:42.000 So what they did was, she said, I am married to a Cuban.
00:45:44.000 They were like, we don't trust it.
00:45:46.000 We don't want to do it.
00:45:47.000 So they created a vaudeville show that was basically the first season of I Love Lucy.
00:45:52.000 They toured around the country doing this vaudeville show, and on the final stop, they invited CBS executives.
00:45:58.000 And the audience loved it.
00:45:59.000 And they were like, oh, okay, cool.
00:46:01.000 This is good.
00:46:01.000 All right, we're going to do it.
00:46:03.000 But if you do it, we're going to do it in New York and we're going to do it live.
00:46:06.000 Desi was like, absolutely not.
00:46:08.000 Lucy is pregnant.
00:46:09.000 We're not going back and forth.
00:46:11.000 We have to do this in LA. And they're like, we're not doing a show in LA. Are you crazy?
00:46:15.000 And he was like, yeah, we're going to do it in LA and we're going to shoot it on film. 0.89
00:46:17.000 They were like, absolutely not.
00:46:18.000 But if you want to do it, you can pay for it.
00:46:20.000 And he was like, all right, bet we'll pay for it and we'll just deliver it to you.
00:46:24.000 And so they paid for everything and built Desilu Studios.
00:46:28.000 And they owned the rights until like 1974. And Lucy sold it back to CBS, which was not smart.
00:46:34.000 But they owned, all of that was theirs.
00:46:37.000 All of that was theirs.
00:46:38.000 So basically, Desi was the one who created this like three camera audience set up.
00:46:43.000 That was all him. 0.79
00:46:45.000 And the smart shit about shooting on film is, like, all the Norman Lear shows, if you watch, like, all those 70s shows, the quality is not good when you watch it visually because they shot on videotape. 0.99
00:46:56.000 If you watch I Love Lucy, which was made, like, what, 25 years earlier, that shit is so... 0.99
00:47:01.000 That looks like HD. It looks like it was shot, like, last week. 0.98
00:47:04.000 And that's because he shot it on film.
00:47:06.000 And so that was the, like, forethought.
00:47:09.000 Desi Arnaz gets no credit for that because he was a Cuban, but, like, he created We did all of that. 0.65
00:47:14.000 That's incredible.
00:47:16.000 Obviously.
00:47:17.000 That's incredible.
00:47:18.000 I did not know that.
00:47:19.000 I was trying to explain to my daughter that this was before Castro took over Cuba.
00:47:23.000 I was like, you gotta understand what Cuba was like back then.
00:47:26.000 Because Cuba was like a place where people from the United States would go to gamble.
00:47:30.000 And it was all run by the mob.
00:47:32.000 The whole thing.
00:47:34.000 The corrupt government that was there before Castro overtook it.
00:47:38.000 I was explaining this whole thing to her.
00:47:40.000 It was fascinating to watch this little 11-year-old try to figure out, first of all, why everything's black and white?
00:47:46.000 Where's the colors? 1.00
00:47:47.000 There's no color in this stupid fucking show you're making me watch. 1.00
00:47:51.000 Right. 1.00
00:47:51.000 I was talking to my little niece the other day. 1.00
00:47:55.000 She was talking about She would watch some show that was talking about old days, like the 1940s and 50s with segregation and all that.
00:48:02.000 She was like, yeah.
00:48:03.000 And they were talking about the segregation that happened in the 1990s.
00:48:07.000 What?
00:48:07.000 I was like, what the?
00:48:09.000 We ain't that old, god damn! 0.99
00:48:12.000 I saw somebody asked that kid. 0.99
00:48:16.000 That kid was like, mommy, what year were you born?
00:48:18.000 They said 1993. They said, were you a slave?
00:48:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:48:24.000 They do extra crazy shit. 1.00
00:48:27.000 They don't know what the fuck's going on. 1.00
00:48:28.000 Imagine being alive for five years trying to figure the world out. 0.99
00:48:31.000 I, you know, I have custody of my niece's kids.
00:48:33.000 So they know I'm gone all the time.
00:48:35.000 They know I'm their aunt.
00:48:36.000 I'm their great aunt.
00:48:37.000 Because I think great aunt.
00:48:38.000 So I come home one day, Joe, and they was like, we Google you and you worth a million dollars. 1.00
00:48:44.000 I said, they tell them a goddamn lie. 1.00
00:48:45.000 I ain't got no fucking money. 1.00
00:48:46.000 And you crack babies about not be trying to kill me. 1.00
00:48:53.000 They Googled your net worth.
00:48:54.000 Yeah, they Googled my net worth. 1.00
00:48:55.000 I told you, there's the ones who Googled Elsa sucking dick. 1.00
00:48:58.000 I said, stay the fuck off that goddamn internet. 1.00
00:49:00.000 Same kids. 1.00
00:49:00.000 Yeah, the same kids. 1.00
00:49:02.000 I said, you stay the fuck off that internet because that shit ain't true. 1.00
00:49:04.000 I ain't got no goddamn money. 1.00
00:49:05.000 Y'all think about killing me? 1.00
00:49:06.000 I'll shoot you motherfuckers first. 1.00
00:49:10.000 I mean, I just walk in the house and crack me up and say, we Google you. 1.00
00:49:13.000 We know your net worth. 1.00
00:49:15.000 No the fuck you don't. 1.00
00:49:16.000 Can you imagine being in the store with the kids and they ask for something and you say no we ain't got no money and they just Google your network? 1.00
00:49:24.000 That's a goddamn lie. 1.00
00:49:26.000 Google is a lie. 1.00
00:49:27.000 They ain't got no goddamn money. 0.99
00:49:29.000 How much of your own life are you going to put into this show? 0.99
00:49:34.000 A lot of it?
00:49:35.000 A lot of it went into the pilot.
00:49:37.000 We had one episode he really wanted to do. 0.99
00:49:41.000 I don't want too much pushback on shit, but I was like, it was about being molested. 0.99
00:49:46.000 Because we go there. 0.99
00:49:48.000 If I can make it funny, Joe, I'll go there.
00:49:51.000 But when we got to writing it, I just felt like it didn't...
00:49:56.000 It wasn't captured good.
00:49:58.000 I think it was just me.
00:50:00.000 I wasn't ready.
00:50:01.000 And I remember them saying, this will heal so many people.
00:50:04.000 I'm like, yeah, but if I'm still kind of touchy on the subject, I need to heal first.
00:50:10.000 So, therefore, I pulled it, and we wrote something else.
00:50:13.000 She did.
00:50:13.000 We wrote a whole new episode.
00:50:14.000 I remember that day on the phone with her, because we had been talking about the episode since we pitched the show.
00:50:20.000 And we finally had the script and we were working on it and getting notes back and she called me and she was like, Jordan, I can't do this.
00:50:27.000 We shouldn't do this.
00:50:28.000 I don't want to do this yet.
00:50:30.000 And we pulled it and we rewrote it.
00:50:33.000 We rewrote a whole new episode.
00:50:34.000 Do you think that's something you'll revisit?
00:50:36.000 Like maybe as you get more comfortable with the show?
00:50:38.000 You know...
00:50:39.000 I feel like it's an episode that you've got to really take time.
00:50:42.000 Yeah.
00:50:42.000 You know, we did one on my baby daddy, right?
00:50:45.000 And that was hard.
00:50:47.000 That was really hard. 0.99
00:50:48.000 It was funny as fuck, Joe. 0.98
00:50:50.000 But, you know, where I... It's like... 0.99
00:50:53.000 I don't know if this is a comedy or a dramedy because it gets real touchy towards episode 789. And it was...
00:51:00.000 You get the feelings and, you know...
00:51:04.000 It made me feel like I actually won.
00:51:06.000 I got the revenge I wanted on the dude who worked at Jiffy Lube.
00:51:10.000 I felt strong from that episode, but it wasn't easy. 0.79
00:51:14.000 I remember riding home that night with tears running down my face and saying, wow, nigga, I won. 0.98
00:51:22.000 Riding home the night you filmed it?
00:51:23.000 After I filmed it, I remember riding home that night feeling like I finally won.
00:51:28.000 Wow.
00:51:29.000 Because I was crying during that.
00:51:31.000 There was a scene, one of the final scenes of that episode, And I'm not a crier.
00:51:36.000 Oh, we did cry.
00:51:36.000 I'm not that person.
00:51:37.000 I'm not a crier.
00:51:38.000 But I felt, it was like, I'm a spirit person too.
00:51:42.000 But she did that scene and she nailed it. 1.00
00:51:45.000 And I just started boo-hooing.
00:51:47.000 I had to walk off set.
00:51:49.000 Because it was like, it felt like I was being used to help her get her power back. 0.99
00:51:56.000 There was something so beautiful about it that was like, damn. 0.99
00:51:59.000 The audience was crying. 0.99
00:52:01.000 Really?
00:52:01.000 Yes, the audience was crying, and I remember walking off, and that was the last scene, and he would just bust out crying.
00:52:08.000 I was like, what's wrong?
00:52:09.000 And she's like, I just want to thank you so much for being, you know, let me tell your story. 0.99
00:52:13.000 You know, I don't like crying in front of people because I'm a hood bitch. 0.98
00:52:18.000 And he was boo-hooing. 0.99
00:52:20.000 And I turned around, everybody crying.
00:52:22.000 The audience cried. 0.98
00:52:24.000 And I remember getting in my car that night and riding back to my place, and I was like, I fucking won. 0.97
00:52:31.000 I won. 0.99
00:52:32.000 Out of all the shit, you know, the voices that I still hear in my head from, you know, the way my mama treat me, I have to doubt myself. 0.99
00:52:39.000 You know, everybody fight against something. 0.99
00:52:41.000 And one of the things that I fight against each and every day is my mama in my ear constantly telling me I ain't shit. 1.00
00:52:47.000 Constantly saying, bitch, you ain't shit. 1.00
00:52:49.000 You're ugly. 1.00
00:52:51.000 All the stuff that she did that stuck to my bones that I don't know how to get them off. 0.99
00:52:56.000 And so, but that night, I actually feel like I won.
00:53:03.000 Wow.
00:53:03.000 It doesn't have to be funny all the time.
00:53:05.000 I don't try to be.
00:53:06.000 It doesn't have to be.
00:53:07.000 It just has to be good.
00:53:09.000 It just has to be good.
00:53:10.000 And it was.
00:53:10.000 It was not funny.
00:53:12.000 We had to fight on that, too, a little bit.
00:53:14.000 Because I remember the network was like, at one point, they were like, alright, we're the jokes.
00:53:20.000 Any great sitcom, go back and watch Good Times.
00:53:23.000 They had episodes like that.
00:53:24.000 Yeah.
00:53:25.000 And I think we have two like that.
00:53:27.000 Even the finale is like that.
00:53:29.000 You ain't seen no finale like you seen this one.
00:53:32.000 You ain't seen no finale like you seen this one.
00:53:35.000 And acting was so crazy for me because he took my real life and he dropped them into the daddy's mouth.
00:53:45.000 And I was like, dude, I can't be talking to this man like that. 1.00
00:53:48.000 This is shit I said to my husband. 1.00
00:53:51.000 And I started to feel it. 1.00
00:53:53.000 And I'm like, I said, I'm tired of telling this man I love him.
00:53:57.000 Because, you know, when you take something so personal, he was taking personal stuff, personal conversations we had, personal, just, you know, because I tell him everything.
00:54:07.000 We were really close. 1.00
00:54:08.000 And he was dropping that shit in this dude's mouth. 1.00
00:54:12.000 And it was reminding me of my husband at home. 1.00
00:54:16.000 And I'm like, I said, you're going to have to stop this shit. 0.99
00:54:18.000 She was really scared of vulnerability on set. 0.99
00:54:21.000 And it was a thing where I really had to push.
00:54:24.000 Because she, I think acting at first was like a thing.
00:54:28.000 It was like acting? 1.00
00:54:29.000 That's easy as fuck. 0.99
00:54:30.000 I could just get in front of a camera. 0.99
00:54:31.000 You know what I mean?
00:54:32.000 But I think some of the scenes really pushed her.
00:54:35.000 Like there were times where she had to stop.
00:54:37.000 You had to stop.
00:54:38.000 And get herself together.
00:54:39.000 Because it was asking a lot of her.
00:54:41.000 The storytelling was asking a lot of her.
00:54:43.000 And I like to do things to keep them, all the actors, on their feet.
00:54:48.000 Because it keeps them connected to the story.
00:54:51.000 So even jokes.
00:54:53.000 I'll be watching them do a scene while we're shooting.
00:54:55.000 And I'll hear a joke in my head.
00:54:57.000 Or one of the writers will be like, what about this?
00:54:58.000 And I'll run out and I'll tell one of the actors and not tell everybody else. 0.99
00:55:02.000 So even in the pilot when you watch whenever she comes out and she's like, did you teach your daddy what the clit is? 0.96
00:55:09.000 The actors had no idea that was coming. 0.98
00:55:12.000 And they busted.
00:55:13.000 They were trying not to laugh.
00:55:14.000 And it's all in the show.
00:55:15.000 They were trying not to laugh.
00:55:16.000 But it's like things like that that just keeps them connected.
00:55:19.000 And they really grew into a family.
00:55:21.000 And you should have seen the way that That Pat really just sunk into telling this story.
00:55:26.000 It was so beautiful to watch.
00:55:28.000 And they were so great. 0.99
00:55:29.000 You know, like, because, I mean, even though I was a star of the show, I was the weakest fucking link. 0.96
00:55:33.000 I mean, you got Tammy Roman on that show. 1.00
00:55:35.000 You had Jay Bernard Calloway, who was a fucking theater actor. 0.98
00:55:38.000 You got Theodore Barnes, who did... 0.99
00:55:40.000 Peter Barnes, yeah. 0.99
00:55:42.000 Who did a couple of movies on fucking Netflix. 0.98
00:55:45.000 And then you had Brittany Ingram who just came off another show. 1.00
00:55:49.000 I think the daughter who plays Janelle is the only one who was her first acting job. 0.99
00:55:53.000 She was fucking the bomb. 1.00
00:55:55.000 But they wrapped their arms around me, you know, and they helped me. 1.00
00:56:00.000 In Hollywood, everybody worry about who's first on the call sheet. 0.98
00:56:03.000 And I sit them down and I say, I don't give a fuck about no call sheet. 0.99
00:56:06.000 All I give a fuck about is my check gonna clear. 0.99
00:56:09.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:56:10.000 Isn't that weird, that first on the call sheet shit? 1.00
00:56:12.000 Yeah, first on the call sheet. 0.99
00:56:13.000 I said, we're family.
00:56:15.000 I need y'all as much as y'all need me.
00:56:17.000 I said, so we ain't gonna work.
00:56:18.000 I said, we all stars.
00:56:20.000 I can't do this show without you. 0.99
00:56:21.000 That's why you was fucking casted. 0.99
00:56:23.000 And I just told him, I said, drop that call sheet shirt. 1.00
00:56:26.000 I don't give a fuck about no call sheet. 0.99
00:56:27.000 When we was in L.A. and the extras had to wait till the stars, I said, what the fuck y'all sitting there for? 0.99
00:56:32.000 We have to wait. 1.00
00:56:33.000 I said, get the fuck up. 0.99
00:56:34.000 Ain't gonna be no food left for you. 1.00
00:56:35.000 You don't get the fuck up. 0.99
00:56:36.000 You don't see them big ass men back there working. 1.00
00:56:37.000 Get the fuck up and eat before they eat. 0.99
00:56:39.000 And it was like, nobody's ever done that. 0.97
00:56:42.000 Oh, that's like, yeah, I remember that.
00:56:44.000 Like the main cast has to eat first and then the extras eat.
00:56:47.000 It's wild. 0.94
00:56:47.000 Well, they set out that hierarchy to make everybody feel kind of shitty. 0.94
00:56:51.000 But that's the thing that, it started from the top down, but that was something that we saw eye to eye on in the very beginning. 0.67
00:56:58.000 We were like, this ain't gonna be no shitty set. 0.95
00:57:01.000 And so we broke all that shit down and it just created, the atmosphere that it created on set. 0.99
00:57:07.000 People enjoyed, people was like, I fucking love coming to work at this show. 0.99
00:57:11.000 What was so crazy, we did a scene with the daddy and it was about the N-word, right? 0.96
00:57:16.000 And the white cameramen, they was all white cameramen, and after they told us, they said, we never looked at it like that. 0.83
00:57:24.000 That scene, and I mean, damn near, they was tearing up.
00:57:28.000 They said, we never looked at that word the way y'all just put it out on this show like that.
00:57:34.000 And they was like, they was like so happy to come to work.
00:57:38.000 And they would get booked for other shows.
00:57:40.000 I was like, where you been? 0.92
00:57:41.000 I'm so fucking happy to be back here with you, Miss Pat. 0.94
00:57:43.000 They was literally, it was nothing like seeing people happy to be there. 0.99
00:57:47.000 You know, not just some bullshit. 0.99
00:57:49.000 They knew they was going to laugh. 0.82
00:57:50.000 Do you have an idea of whether or not you're going to do another season?
00:57:54.000 It depends on the audience.
00:57:56.000 B&T said that they're waiting to see how people respond, if people are going to watch it.
00:58:01.000 Because they're nervous.
00:58:02.000 I think they're nervous because...
00:58:04.000 I think we're all nervous.
00:58:05.000 We are.
00:58:06.000 Because it's a new kind of show.
00:58:08.000 It's like an experiment.
00:58:10.000 It's a big experiment.
00:58:11.000 And I think that they were saying the first two weeks really matter in streaming because...
00:58:17.000 The first two weeks in streaming, that's how they know if they decide if they're going to pick something up because it depends on how many people watch it and the hours that they watch it.
00:58:25.000 It's not like ratings.
00:58:26.000 It's like, okay, did you watch multiple episodes?
00:58:29.000 So it depends on what happens in those first two weeks, really.
00:58:32.000 That depends.
00:58:33.000 They follow everything, right?
00:58:35.000 Did you finish it?
00:58:36.000 Did you start it and end it in the middle?
00:58:38.000 They know everything.
00:58:40.000 It's interesting.
00:58:41.000 The difference between what they know with streaming is so fascinating, because they know all the demographics.
00:58:47.000 It's like they have all the data, as opposed to the Nielsen ratings was nonsense. 0.98
00:58:51.000 Nobody knew what the fuck that was. 1.00
00:58:53.000 The Nielsen shit is like there's a Nielsen family, and then you had to fill out a book. 1.00
00:58:58.000 Oh, no, that's radio. 0.99
00:59:00.000 The Nielsen was like, I guess it was based on a box that was on your TV, right?
00:59:03.000 He just told me the other day, back in the day, they didn't even put Nielsen boxes in black household.
00:59:07.000 Yes, that's why in the 50s they didn't have black shows back then.
00:59:11.000 Because they didn't give Nielsen boxes to black people.
00:59:14.000 So the advertisers didn't care if black people were watching. 0.85
00:59:16.000 Really?
00:59:17.000 How many Nielsen families are there?
00:59:19.000 I don't know.
00:59:20.000 Are there any left?
00:59:22.000 I don't know.
00:59:22.000 Are there?
00:59:23.000 There are?
00:59:24.000 Yeah, I actually know a couple of my friends of mine had a Nielsen box a couple months ago.
00:59:28.000 Wow.
00:59:29.000 Really?
00:59:29.000 Yeah.
00:59:29.000 Wow.
00:59:30.000 I remember Oprah got in trouble when OWN first started and she was like, please watch Oprah Winfrey Network, especially if you have a Nielsen box.
00:59:37.000 She got in so much trouble.
00:59:38.000 What?
00:59:38.000 Who got a Nielsen box?
00:59:39.000 Because apparently it's supposed to be like the secret thing that nobody's supposed to know about.
00:59:42.000 You're not supposed to tell people?
00:59:43.000 That's hilarious.
00:59:43.000 The one thing you can't advertise?
00:59:44.000 Wow. 0.99
00:59:45.000 Where the fuck the box at? 0.99
00:59:46.000 Do I have one? 0.99
00:59:47.000 No.
00:59:47.000 No, you would know.
00:59:48.000 You have to fill out some paperwork, I think.
00:59:51.000 And then you get a box that's on your TV. So whatever you're watching, they know what you watched.
00:59:55.000 And so then I think it's like 100,000 families nationwide.
00:59:59.000 Yeah, I'm trying to find a number.
01:00:00.000 I don't see anything.
01:00:01.000 And then they calculate based on the actual number of humans there are in this country and how many people really watch TV and they get an estimate.
01:00:09.000 A rough estimate of the amount of people that are watching your show, but it's very rough, as opposed to streaming.
01:00:14.000 Streaming, they know exactly how many people are watching your show.
01:00:17.000 It's a different animal.
01:00:19.000 Yeah.
01:00:19.000 So, how much is BET Plus?
01:00:22.000 Was it a monthly thing?
01:00:22.000 $9.99.
01:00:23.000 A month?
01:00:24.000 Yes.
01:00:24.000 $9.99 a month.
01:00:25.000 Seven day free trial they have, I believe.
01:00:26.000 And what other shows they got on there?
01:00:28.000 They have the First Wife Club.
01:00:30.000 They're only 18 months old, so it's a new streaming platform.
01:00:34.000 They do have a lot of the black old sitcoms like Martin and Rock and Fresh Prince.
01:00:40.000 They have quite a few, probably 10 originals. 0.97
01:00:46.000 A lot of people forgot how fucking good Martin was. 0.64
01:00:49.000 That guy played like 15 different characters in that show. 0.95
01:00:52.000 It was so interesting.
01:00:53.000 It was like literally a fusion of sketch comedy and sitcom.
01:00:57.000 And that's kind of what I'm trying to do with Pat.
01:00:58.000 I'm trying to do like a comedy show meets a sitcom.
01:01:01.000 And kind of melt the two together.
01:01:03.000 Like stand-up meets it.
01:01:04.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:01:05.000 That's wise.
01:01:06.000 And I hate it.
01:01:08.000 Everybody get an extra treat when you go to streaming because I'm doing...
01:01:12.000 They're called monologues. 0.99
01:01:14.000 And I fucking hated them, Joe. 0.99
01:01:15.000 But we was watching one yesterday and it was so fucking funny. 0.99
01:01:19.000 And me and him would literally stay up all night trying to write it to marriage, the episode. 0.97
01:01:24.000 And I was like, this is so fucking hard.
01:01:28.000 This is what he wanted. 0.86
01:01:29.000 I was like, if we get a second season, when we get a second season, we're not doing them. 1.00
01:01:33.000 I'm not doing this fucking shit. 0.99
01:01:35.000 It's the perfect, it gives you a chance to see her stand up and she's basically giving you a prelude to what, it's kind of like what Shakespeare used to do. 1.00
01:01:44.000 It's like, I'm telling you the story before you know the story, but I'm making you laugh while we do it.
01:01:48.000 The perfect compliment.
01:01:49.000 Yeah, and then the show just starts around her.
01:01:51.000 It's very theatrical.
01:01:52.000 Like in the pilot, how she's doing stand-up, talking to the studio audience, and all of a sudden the plane just comes in, the set moves.
01:02:00.000 This kid dreams, Joe, because let me tell you something. 0.99
01:02:02.000 Some shit he asked for, I was like, you shouldn't ask these people for all their money like that. 0.99
01:02:06.000 So when the plane idea, he was like, oh, I got this idea. 1.00
01:02:09.000 Because it was my idea to sit on the plane and have that uncomfortable conversation with the white woman. 1.00
01:02:14.000 Well, I used to fly southwest, right?
01:02:17.000 So I was A+. So I would block my seat off going back to Indiana because it was full of white people. 1.00
01:02:21.000 And I wanted to have conversation about real life, race, abortion, women, just start a conversation. 1.00
01:02:27.000 So I would block my seat off, usually for a white man, because those are the ones that once you got them sitting down and they can't go nowhere, you can ride their ass like a hard dick. 1.00
01:02:39.000 And I wouldn't do anything like racist. 1.00
01:02:40.000 I would just start a casual conversation and let them know, it's okay.
01:02:44.000 I want to know your opinion on this, on race or whatever.
01:02:47.000 And most times they would open up and talk to me. 0.96
01:02:49.000 And when I gave him that idea, hey, we should have a conversation about this is what I do every week on fucking Southwest. 0.87
01:02:54.000 He wrote it. 0.55
01:02:55.000 But then he come up, he's like, I think the The plane should open up.
01:02:58.000 I said, don't XDP for all that money. 0.99
01:03:00.000 Stop that bullshit. 0.99
01:03:01.000 He's like, no, I got this vision. 1.00
01:03:02.000 And I'm like, this kid is going to get us kicked out of this motherfucking studio. 0.99
01:03:06.000 But the guy started building. 0.99
01:03:08.000 He's like, we've never done anything like this. 0.88
01:03:10.000 And then you've seen how it ended up, which was so fucking beautiful.
01:03:13.000 And then the next thing he asked for was, before that, he said, we're standing at Lee Daniels.
01:03:18.000 Oh, what do you think about Debbie Allen directing the pile? 1.00
01:03:21.000 I said, Bitch, ain't even famous. 1.00
01:03:23.000 Debbie Allen don't know who the fuck I am. 1.00
01:03:25.000 You think she gonna come fucking direct something for all no-name ass? 1.00
01:03:29.000 And he was like, Lee asked Debbie Allen. 0.99
01:03:31.000 Lee said, oh, I asked her.
01:03:32.000 He sent it to her. 1.00
01:03:32.000 She said, I'm gonna direct this fucking pilot. 1.00
01:03:34.000 And I was like, keep asking, motherfucker. 1.00
01:03:38.000 It was so dope because we were looking at lists of directors and there was all these white guys and women. 0.99
01:03:45.000 It was good people, really good people.
01:03:47.000 But then I remember I was watching a rerun of A Different World and then Debbie Allen's name came across the screen.
01:03:52.000 I was like, what about Debbie Allen?
01:03:54.000 I didn't know what to think because the show is R-rated.
01:03:58.000 It's so nasty.
01:03:59.000 I didn't know if Debbie Allen was going to want to do... 0.99
01:04:02.000 It's not nasty.
01:04:02.000 It's not that R-rated.
01:04:04.000 It's Christian.
01:04:04.000 I didn't know...
01:04:05.000 Chris, you're my ass. 1.00
01:04:06.000 I didn't know if Debbie Allen was going to want to be a part of it. 1.00
01:04:10.000 But she read that script and she fell in love with it.
01:04:13.000 And she just jumped on board and she added so much beauty to it.
01:04:16.000 I have to tell you, did you tell him about when you had dinner with Felicia Rashad?
01:04:20.000 We sat down and had dinner with Felicia Rashad who played Claire Huxtable.
01:04:23.000 Can you imagine Miss Pat and Claire Huxtable across the table?
01:04:33.000 She was like, the wife we see, she's like, you're so colorful. 1.00
01:04:38.000 What the fuck is wrong with your sister, damn it? 1.00
01:04:41.000 And so, you know, Debbie is married to Norm Nixon. 1.00
01:04:45.000 He's like, tell her about your daughter. 1.00
01:04:46.000 Be eating that pussy. 1.00
01:04:47.000 I said, you want me to tell Norm? 1.00
01:04:52.000 Felicia Rashad laughed so hard. 0.98
01:04:54.000 And then she just came alive.
01:04:56.000 I was like, oh my God, she's human.
01:04:57.000 She's beautiful.
01:04:58.000 But it was like, we was really scared.
01:05:00.000 I was really scared to send Debbie this because, you know, Debbie is like, you know, Black, the black princess of, you know, of African-Americans. 0.98
01:05:08.000 We just fucking love her. 0.98
01:05:09.000 She's royalty. 0.99
01:05:10.000 And so we flew to Atlanta.
01:05:12.000 She was shooting a movie with...
01:05:14.000 That was another backdoor situation.
01:05:15.000 Yeah, that was another backdoor.
01:05:16.000 Because they didn't want Debbie Allen.
01:05:17.000 I didn't say that.
01:05:18.000 What?
01:05:18.000 She was like, she was like, they...
01:05:21.000 We're not saying who, but they were like, you know, she hasn't directed a sitcom in 25 years, so how could...
01:05:27.000 It was like, you don't forget how to direct...
01:05:29.000 You know what I mean?
01:05:29.000 It was like a thing where it's like...
01:05:30.000 Everybody wants the new and the new and the new. 0.95
01:05:35.000 But it was just a thing where it was like, no, like, we promise you, she can kill it.
01:05:39.000 And so Pat was like, you know what we gonna do? 1.00
01:05:41.000 I said, well, she said, we gonna backdoor these motherfuckers again, and we gonna go... 1.00
01:05:45.000 We jumped our black ass on a plane. 1.00
01:05:47.000 I said, shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:05:49.000 They was like, well, we got a whole list of directors. 1.00
01:05:50.000 I said, well, you go ahead and keep typing.
01:05:52.000 We flew to Atlanta.
01:05:54.000 I don't listen, no, but I believe in myself. 1.00
01:05:56.000 I said, keep typing, motherfuckers. 1.00
01:05:58.000 And I said, okay, send the list. 1.00
01:05:59.000 I said, Jordan, get your motherfucking ass and meet me in Atlanta. 1.00
01:06:01.000 We're going to meet Debbie Allen. 1.00
01:06:02.000 We walked up on that set.
01:06:04.000 We talked to her.
01:06:04.000 We left.
01:06:05.000 We're like, oh, she got the job.
01:06:08.000 Because she knew that I wanted to return to that old school vibe.
01:06:12.000 Everybody does laugh tracks now.
01:06:14.000 Everybody has a different way of writing now.
01:06:16.000 But I wanted to go back to that old school vibe where it was like, you know, you would shoot two shows.
01:06:22.000 Like for that pilot, we shot two shows.
01:06:23.000 We had two different audiences.
01:06:24.000 We had a four o'clock show and a seven o'clock show.
01:06:26.000 And we edited it together.
01:06:28.000 So that way you keep that speed.
01:06:29.000 So you're not asking the audience to laugh at the same scene over and over and over again.
01:06:33.000 That's so smart.
01:06:34.000 It's like you just go straight through.
01:06:35.000 And you move, move, move, move, move.
01:06:37.000 And she understood exactly what I was trying to do.
01:06:39.000 It's like theater.
01:06:40.000 It's like a repertory theater.
01:06:41.000 And so it was like the three of us were just a trifecta.
01:06:45.000 Oh my God.
01:06:46.000 She took me in her bag.
01:06:47.000 We went to her house.
01:06:48.000 Oh my God. 0.99
01:06:49.000 She can fucking cook too. 1.00
01:06:50.000 Lamb chop. 0.99
01:06:50.000 Debbie, I love you. 0.99
01:06:51.000 So she took me to her house where she did dance with Michael Jackson, showing the moves and shit. 0.99
01:06:58.000 And she worked with my acting. 0.98
01:06:59.000 And she would just tell us stories and she just really fucking helped me out so much.
01:07:05.000 And that's another reason why I wanted her to direct it because I felt like she knew what it was. 0.77
01:07:13.000 I'm young.
01:07:13.000 I mean, I'm not young, but I'm a young actor.
01:07:16.000 And she just wrapped her fucking arms around me. 1.00
01:07:18.000 She said, I'm going to show you exactly what to fucking do. 1.00
01:07:20.000 And boy, we had a week or two weeks rehearsal, and she rolled my ass. 1.00
01:07:25.000 Because there was times I would leave that rehearsal and go to her fucking house and rehearse some more. 1.00
01:07:30.000 Wow. 0.99
01:07:31.000 And she wasn't even getting paid for that.
01:07:32.000 And that was all because she cared.
01:07:34.000 I just have a hard time believing that someone would push back on her directing it.
01:07:38.000 Man, you'd be surprised.
01:07:39.000 I'm not surprised though. 1.00
01:07:41.000 There's fucking executives. 1.00
01:07:42.000 There's executives that young people eat fucking Brussels sprouts. 1.00
01:07:46.000 Not the Brussels sprouts. 1.00
01:07:47.000 What's that little shit that look like a little hay on your plate? 1.00
01:07:49.000 Quinoa? 1.00
01:07:50.000 No, I like quinoa.
01:07:51.000 What are you talking about?
01:07:52.000 The little breast or something.
01:07:55.000 Bean sprouts?
01:07:55.000 Bean sprouts.
01:07:56.000 Them motherfuckers. 1.00
01:07:57.000 Yeah, people who eat bean sprouts. 1.00
01:07:59.000 They eat bean sprouts with nothing on them. 1.00
01:08:01.000 And they making the fucking decision. 1.00
01:08:04.000 They're empty-minded motherfuckers. 1.00
01:08:05.000 And you're like, you couldn't make you laugh if you got butt naked. 1.00
01:08:09.000 And I was like... 1.00
01:08:11.000 Just stupid. 1.00
01:08:12.000 I was like, okay, it's y'all money, whatever you want to do. 1.00
01:08:15.000 The beautiful thing is as the show becomes successful, and I believe it will become successful, you'll be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. 0.88
01:08:21.000 I would pray and hope that they would listen a little bit more. 0.98
01:08:25.000 Trust me a little bit.
01:08:27.000 That's why shows like South Park is the best example.
01:08:30.000 They don't even have to talk to Comedy Central anymore.
01:08:32.000 They just deliver their episodes.
01:08:34.000 Wow. 1.00
01:08:35.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:08:36.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:08:37.000 Here it is. 1.00
01:08:37.000 Shut up. 1.00
01:08:38.000 And when you're a young writer, that was another glitch we had. 1.00
01:08:42.000 Like the writing room.
01:08:43.000 You mess around and you hire people that don't get your show.
01:08:47.000 Oh my God. 0.99
01:08:48.000 And writers are the most sensitive motherfuckers I ever met in my life. 0.99
01:08:53.000 We're comics, right? 0.99
01:08:54.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:08:54.000 So if you don't like something, Joe, you're like, Pat, that shit ain't funny, right? 0.99
01:08:57.000 We talk shit to each other. 1.00
01:08:58.000 We talk shit to each other. 1.00
01:08:59.000 But I didn't know that you couldn't bring that in the writing room. 1.00
01:09:01.000 So I was like, dude, that shit ain't funny. 1.00
01:09:03.000 Stop laughing at you motherfucker self. 1.00
01:09:05.000 I was like, this shit is horrible. 1.00
01:09:08.000 Who the fuck wrote this? 1.00
01:09:09.000 You think I've been doing this shit 20 years and I got in trouble. 1.00
01:09:13.000 But I'm like, I'm a fucking comic. 0.99
01:09:15.000 When you say in trouble, like what happens? 0.99
01:09:18.000 I had to go out and get some, I had to get a life coach.
01:09:25.000 A life coach? 0.96
01:09:26.000 She helped the shit out of me. 0.86
01:09:28.000 Ah! 0.98
01:09:29.000 You had to go get a life coach.
01:09:30.000 Yeah.
01:09:31.000 They told you to get a life coach?
01:09:33.000 I had to get a life coach.
01:09:34.000 Because of the way you're communicating with the writers?
01:09:36.000 Yeah.
01:09:37.000 That weren't funny?
01:09:38.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:09:39.000 Because you don't supposed to say- But why would anybody fuck with your chemistry, like who you are? 0.98
01:09:44.000 I don't know. 0.98
01:09:46.000 Don't do that.
01:09:46.000 But you know what it is?
01:09:47.000 It has a lot to do with the fact that people see that we've never done this before. 0.95
01:09:51.000 And they thought we were some pusses. 1.00
01:09:53.000 You know what I mean? 0.95
01:09:53.000 It's people who have been doing it for 30, 40 years. 0.95
01:09:57.000 So when we come in and we're like, no, we want to do it like this.
01:09:59.000 They're like, that's not how it works.
01:10:01.000 It's like, that's the point.
01:10:01.000 We don't want to do how it works.
01:10:03.000 We want to do the other thing.
01:10:04.000 And I think that for Pat, it was like she just wasn't used to having to communicate in a way where you didn't piss people off.
01:10:12.000 Like, they're not used to that.
01:10:13.000 They're used to people being like, oh, we love this, or oh, you know what I mean? 1.00
01:10:16.000 But probably be like, that shit not funny. 1.00
01:10:17.000 Stop laughing. 1.00
01:10:20.000 Now, what does a life coach tell you? 1.00
01:10:25.000 You can't tell people that shit ain't funny. 0.99
01:10:28.000 But that's the only way you get to the point. 0.98
01:10:31.000 Yeah, and then so I started using words like, can we try a little harder? 0.98
01:10:36.000 The problem is if someone's writing shit that's not funny and they think it's funny, they're probably not good. 0.92
01:10:42.000 Thank you. 0.98
01:10:43.000 And I was saying that in the beginning. 1.00
01:10:45.000 You suck. 1.00
01:10:47.000 Stop it. 1.00
01:10:48.000 Stop it.
01:10:49.000 Stop it. 1.00
01:10:51.000 I don't think they suck. 0.97
01:10:52.000 I think that people have been trained to write a certain way in Hollywood. 0.94
01:10:57.000 They write what's palatable.
01:10:59.000 They write the thing that gets them the check.
01:11:01.000 They didn't care about anything.
01:11:03.000 I cared about this.
01:11:04.000 I cared about this. 0.99
01:11:05.000 And I was like, if I'm going to go down, I'm going to go down with my fucking mistakes. 0.98
01:11:09.000 Not nothing that I'll let you talk me into doing. 0.99
01:11:12.000 Right.
01:11:12.000 And that was the hard part.
01:11:14.000 You know, I'm like, this is the Miss Pat show.
01:11:16.000 This is not your show.
01:11:17.000 You know, well, you can't say those things.
01:11:20.000 Well, I'm a comic.
01:11:21.000 We tell each other all the time, that joke ain't funny. 1.00
01:11:24.000 That shit, get the fuck out of here. 1.00
01:11:25.000 You think I heard that wack-ass shit? 1.00
01:11:28.000 Well, not only that, comics will thank you because they know that, oh, you're right. 1.00
01:11:32.000 And then they know they have to go either abandon it or start from scratch. 0.98
01:11:36.000 Yeah, I mean, I had a joke in my shit, board game board. 0.99
01:11:39.000 I'm like, nigga, please. 0.99
01:11:41.000 Board Game Board? 0.79
01:11:42.000 What?
01:11:42.000 Yeah, that been on every sitcom from the day sitcom was created.
01:11:45.000 I don't know what you're saying.
01:11:46.000 Me either.
01:11:47.000 I think she said, like, somebody was like, we're playing board games, we're so bored playing board games, like something like that.
01:11:52.000 Oh.
01:11:53.000 Yeah, like I had never heard that.
01:11:55.000 I'm like, and then you would pick it out and the people would get offended.
01:11:58.000 I'm like, you know, I'm not trying to throw any writers up on you.
01:12:02.000 You do you.
01:12:02.000 I just know this show was about me.
01:12:05.000 And I used to tell them, bitch, you can't out funny me. 1.00
01:12:08.000 I think Jordan is right though, that if they're getting jobs, they're writing, you know, they have like a standard way of doing it, and it's probably getting them gigs, and they're used to... 0.97
01:12:19.000 Right, so when you challenge that, they're like, what are you doing?
01:12:22.000 Right, like, have you ever tried to watch, like, what is that show, Big Bang Theory?
01:12:25.000 You ever try to watch that show? 0.99
01:12:26.000 Shut up, Joe. 1.00
01:12:26.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00
01:12:27.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:12:28.000 Try watching it.
01:12:29.000 It's like they're writing it for aliens. 1.00
01:12:31.000 But meanwhile, that show made a fucking billion dollars. 0.99
01:12:34.000 I don't understand it, but it was very popular. 0.99
01:12:38.000 It's for people who get home from work and they're on pills and they just stand there staring at it.
01:12:43.000 And it tells them when to laugh.
01:12:45.000 But that's why we wanted to do a different kind of sitcom.
01:12:50.000 Because if you watch sitcoms now, it's just corny.
01:12:54.000 It's just corny.
01:12:54.000 It's a formula.
01:12:55.000 And they press a laugh track.
01:12:57.000 We were in the middle of a pandemic, but I still wanted to fight for a live studio audience.
01:13:01.000 I was like, how are we going to know the joke is funny if we don't have real people laughing?
01:13:04.000 Just because we think it's funny doesn't mean it actually lands.
01:13:07.000 You know what I mean?
01:13:08.000 You have to try it out in front of an audience.
01:13:10.000 We would do shoots.
01:13:12.000 We would shoot the episode without an audience. 1.00
01:13:14.000 Stop hitting the fucking tape. 1.00
01:13:15.000 You don't pick up the mic. 1.00
01:13:17.000 Shoot the episode without an audience and then shoot the episode with the audience.
01:13:20.000 And we never used the footage without an audience because the energy was just different.
01:13:24.000 It's different.
01:13:24.000 It's just a different energy.
01:13:25.000 So I would say like 95% of what you see when you watch the show is all live audience.
01:13:31.000 Especially with you.
01:13:32.000 Well, I did learn a lot too.
01:13:33.000 I'm sure.
01:13:34.000 I learned the things you can't say to writers.
01:13:38.000 What is that experience like with a life coach?
01:13:40.000 They sit in a room.
01:13:41.000 No, they're on the phone.
01:13:42.000 Oh, it's on the phone. 1.00
01:13:43.000 When you want to vent, you call that person and they'll tell you how to go by instead of saying, you know, motherfucker, I'll knock your goddamn head off. 1.00
01:13:53.000 So it wasn't even in person? 1.00
01:13:56.000 They wanted you to do the life coach over the phone?
01:13:57.000 We did it Zoomed. 0.74
01:13:59.000 But it helped so fucking much. 0.68
01:14:01.000 Really?
01:14:01.000 It really did help me.
01:14:03.000 She shifted.
01:14:03.000 That was a big shift.
01:14:05.000 It was a big...
01:14:06.000 It was corporate world.
01:14:07.000 I wasn't used to corporate.
01:14:08.000 You don't even talk about corporate.
01:14:09.000 I'm stealing.
01:14:10.000 But this time, you know, I learned a lot.
01:14:13.000 I really did. 0.63
01:14:14.000 She calmed me the fuck down.
01:14:16.000 I mean, she taught me how to breathe when I was upset. 0.57
01:14:19.000 I mean, she taught me how to choose better words.
01:14:21.000 Because I'm from the street. 1.00
01:14:22.000 I'm ready to fight, motherfucker. 1.00
01:14:23.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:14:25.000 You know, that's how I am. 1.00
01:14:27.000 And it just, it helped a lot.
01:14:30.000 It really did.
01:14:32.000 Wow.
01:14:33.000 That's interesting. 0.99
01:14:34.000 Yeah, I mean, I was like, bitch, where you been? 1.00
01:14:36.000 I've been needing you. 0.99
01:14:37.000 I wouldn't have all you convicted fellas.
01:14:39.000 When we met, I told you, I was like, you should probably go to therapy. 0.98
01:14:42.000 You were like, I ain't doing no goddamn therapy. 0.98
01:14:43.000 Comedy, my therapist. 0.99
01:14:45.000 Yeah.
01:14:45.000 Well, if you keep going, then you'll be able to put together a writing room that, like, complements your style.
01:14:52.000 Yes!
01:14:52.000 Right.
01:14:53.000 That's the goal.
01:14:54.000 That's the goal.
01:14:55.000 Because I felt like there was a lot of, like, I felt like a lot of my energy was spent, like, just hovering, almost, because I wanted to make sure that everything was just right.
01:15:05.000 And I didn't want her to have to worry about it, because she already got to learn a script.
01:15:08.000 So I don't want her to have to worry about, like, oh, the joke doesn't work, or, oh, this story doesn't make sense, or, oh, so it was a lot of, like, trying to, it was a lot of rewriting.
01:15:16.000 Like, both of us, she would call me at, like, 5 o'clock in the morning.
01:15:19.000 We would get a script.
01:15:19.000 She would call me at 5 o'clock in the morning and cry.
01:15:21.000 Be like, I don't know what they're doing.
01:15:23.000 It was just one episode that made me cry. 0.99
01:15:24.000 I said, I don't know what the fuck this writer wrote, but, Joe, I was crying. 0.99
01:15:28.000 I said, get the fuck up right now. 1.00
01:15:31.000 This shit done drive my puss out. 1.00
01:15:33.000 We about to die. 1.00
01:15:34.000 I was, I... I thought I was going to die.
01:15:42.000 It was hot, flashy, everything.
01:15:45.000 I just couldn't do it.
01:15:47.000 But it's like, that's the best thing.
01:15:49.000 They worked hard.
01:15:50.000 They worked hard.
01:15:53.000 But it just didn't mesh.
01:15:58.000 The way we tell stories and the way that they tell stories just didn't.
01:16:01.000 Some of them.
01:16:02.000 But we had some really great writers.
01:16:04.000 I'm going to be honest with you. 0.99
01:16:05.000 We rewrote the whole fucking season. 0.98
01:16:08.000 Literally, that was not a strip that we did not touch. 0.98
01:16:10.000 And we learned a lot about that.
01:16:12.000 I mean, from credits to everything else.
01:16:14.000 We touched.
01:16:16.000 That was not a night that when they turned in a strip, we didn't have to go back and fix.
01:16:20.000 Twelve episodes.
01:16:22.000 A lot of writing.
01:16:23.000 But it makes sense with a new show, too, because it's like, you know, it's a new machine.
01:16:27.000 So it's like, we have to like, they did great.
01:16:30.000 Like, they're good.
01:16:30.000 I don't want them to watch this and be like, oh, they did great.
01:16:34.000 But it was just a thing where we...
01:16:36.000 Some of the voices wasn't ringing all the way through, because my daughter wrote on the show.
01:16:40.000 Oh, really?
01:16:40.000 Yeah, my youngest daughter wrote on the show.
01:16:42.000 Oh, wow.
01:16:43.000 That was her... 0.98
01:16:44.000 What's the name of the episode?
01:16:48.000 That's my daughter's episode.
01:16:50.000 She wrote that.
01:16:51.000 Even her episode, we had to go back and touch.
01:16:53.000 So it wasn't about if they wasn't good enough.
01:16:56.000 It was more about...
01:16:57.000 Some of it, I had to put more of my voice in it.
01:17:00.000 It wasn't ringing home true to who I was in some of the episodes.
01:17:03.000 And we kind of got an understanding with the writing room.
01:17:05.000 Hey, yeah, we're going to have to touch every strip.
01:17:08.000 Yeah.
01:17:08.000 Because this is our project and nobody cares about it like we did.
01:17:12.000 Well, no one's going to understand what you're trying to accomplish other than you. 0.99
01:17:15.000 Especially if you get some person 32 years old who has been writing sitcoms for the last two years and they think they know what they're doing and they sit down with you and they're like, who is this fucking tornado of a woman? 1.00
01:17:28.000 This is ridiculous. 0.99
01:17:29.000 Try preparing for someone like you without ever meeting someone like you. 0.99
01:17:35.000 You know, so you gotta look at it from their perspective, too.
01:17:37.000 It's a shock.
01:17:39.000 Yeah, they can't pretend someone like you exists and write it. 1.00
01:17:42.000 You know, they have to kind of meet you, and then they meet you like, what the fuck? 0.94
01:17:46.000 Like, they would have to, like, listen to you on every podcast, watch your stand-up, and get a sense of who you are. 0.97
01:17:52.000 And even then, they'd probably be too timid to write the way you speak.
01:17:56.000 Well, I'm really a nice person.
01:17:58.000 You're a very nice person.
01:17:59.000 I love everybody.
01:18:00.000 You really do. 0.99
01:18:01.000 But I'm going to say, that shit ain't funny. 0.99
01:18:03.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:18:03.000 And I think I should have that right to say that shit ain't funny. 0.99
01:18:06.000 It's important. 0.99
01:18:07.000 Because if you don't say it, then they just do it the way they wrote it, and then it sucks. 0.96
01:18:11.000 And then it's you. 0.91
01:18:13.000 I had a podcast with the guy from...
01:18:17.000 What's the comedian named?
01:18:19.000 The Redneck Dude. 0.86
01:18:21.000 Oh, God.
01:18:23.000 Want to be a redneck?
01:18:24.000 I cannot think of a name.
01:18:25.000 Oh, Jeff Foxworth?
01:18:26.000 Yeah, so I did his podcast.
01:18:27.000 He has a podcast?
01:18:28.000 Yeah, he has a podcast.
01:18:30.000 And I was doing a podcast with him one day and he was saying that was some of the problem that he had. 0.99
01:18:35.000 He was like, I wouldn't say this shit. 0.99
01:18:37.000 Right. 0.99
01:18:38.000 And he said to the point where they didn't even want him in the writer's room.
01:18:43.000 That's hilarious.
01:18:44.000 They did that with Roseanne, too.
01:18:46.000 They kicked her out of the writer's room? 0.95
01:18:48.000 Yeah, the new series for the second season, they kicked her out of the writer's room. 0.97
01:18:54.000 Executives have these ideas, and writers have these ideas like, we know what we're doing.
01:18:59.000 And when you have a strong voice like yours, especially yours, because it's so unusual.
01:19:06.000 Miss Pat is like... 1.00
01:19:08.000 You don't have another example.
01:19:10.000 There's no other one like you.
01:19:11.000 Try to find another Miss Pat. 0.97
01:19:13.000 So for them to try to put it together...
01:19:15.000 If you get a regular person like, oh, he's like Tim Allen, or oh, he's like this person.
01:19:20.000 You can do that with a lot of sitcoms. 1.00
01:19:22.000 But with you, they're fucked. 1.00
01:19:24.000 They would literally have to try to think like you, and that's hard. 1.00
01:19:28.000 It's hard to do.
01:19:30.000 This kid got it.
01:19:32.000 But that's the thing is that this kid, right?
01:19:35.000 He's not corrupted by the system yet.
01:19:38.000 And for you to get out of the gate with a show like this, I mean, this is amazing. 0.53
01:19:41.000 It's an amazing opportunity for you, but it's also perfect for you because he's fresh and he's not fucked up by this goofy machine that makes terrible TV shows.
01:19:53.000 Because there is a machine and they make a lot of money off those terrible shows. 1.00
01:19:57.000 They want to keep making those stupid fucking shows. 1.00
01:20:00.000 Yeah, and that's what I was happy to. 1.00
01:20:02.000 I was like, oh my God, I'm so happy because he got so many other projects now on the book.
01:20:06.000 Oh, do you?
01:20:06.000 Yeah.
01:20:07.000 I said, he's writing a movie now.
01:20:09.000 26?
01:20:10.000 Yeah, for Netflix.
01:20:11.000 Out the door.
01:20:13.000 Guns blazing.
01:20:13.000 I mean, when I first met him, he didn't have no food.
01:20:16.000 He got on Prada Books today, Joe.
01:20:18.000 Wow.
01:20:20.000 She's not lying, though.
01:20:21.000 That's amazing.
01:20:23.000 I was like, oh, I remember when I was loaning you my car.
01:20:27.000 You get credit better than mine.
01:20:29.000 But he believed in it.
01:20:31.000 I mean, that's what I loved the most.
01:20:35.000 And I just wanted to see...
01:20:36.000 I didn't want her to... 0.77
01:20:38.000 Because I can only imagine what the show would have been.
01:20:41.000 And I just didn't want her to get put on TV in front of a screen and not be herself.
01:20:47.000 It just would have been painful.
01:20:48.000 Right.
01:20:48.000 I don't know if you, I don't know if you ain't got a black mama, but my mom is like, she's like Pat.
01:20:56.000 She talks like Pat. 1.00
01:20:57.000 Hey mama, hood bitch. 1.00
01:20:59.000 But then it's like, when you get on the phone with like executives or like white people or like rich people, it's like, if you don't sit your ass down, I'm gonna be like, hello? 1.00
01:21:08.000 Hi! 0.99
01:21:08.000 Hi! 0.99
01:21:10.000 And I just didn't want it to be that.
01:21:12.000 I wanted her to be her.
01:21:14.000 And I feel like that's why I kept bringing up Richard Pryor and Red Fox and Flip Wilson and all these comedians, LaWanda Page, who couldn't be themselves on these shows.
01:21:23.000 And it's like...
01:21:25.000 Her crown was bought and paid for, and now she just has to put it on.
01:21:29.000 Like, they did all that so she could do the Miss Pat show on BET+. You know what I mean?
01:21:33.000 Yeah, no, that was my fear watching it, that they weren't going to get you.
01:21:36.000 And that they're going to put you in some sitcom.
01:21:40.000 But then when I watched it, I'm like, this is you.
01:21:42.000 It's actually you.
01:21:43.000 And for people that don't understand how hard that is to do, There's one thing for a person to be themselves.
01:21:51.000 There's another thing for someone to write out that person and write that person interacting with a fake husband and fake children and a fake kitchen and try to put it together and make it seem like it's really you really having fun with your family.
01:22:07.000 And you nailed it.
01:22:09.000 You did it.
01:22:10.000 One of the hardest things in all of the sitcom world is Taking a comedian and recreating their voice for a show.
01:22:19.000 It's very hard and very few shows have ever done it right.
01:22:23.000 Yeah, that's what I hear all the time.
01:22:24.000 It's really true.
01:22:25.000 I mean, if you go back and think about all the different shows where a comedian starred in that show and played some goofy caricature of themselves, that's what most of them are.
01:22:35.000 They very rarely nail the essence.
01:22:38.000 But your show is you.
01:22:40.000 It really is you.
01:22:42.000 So you should be proud of that.
01:22:44.000 Thank you.
01:22:44.000 Thank you.
01:22:45.000 I can't imagine it's not going to be huge.
01:22:47.000 I really can't.
01:22:48.000 I think it's going to be huge.
01:22:50.000 I really do. 0.98
01:22:51.000 It's fucking good. 0.93
01:22:52.000 Well, thank you, Joe. 0.98
01:22:53.000 Y'all heard Joe Rogan?
01:22:54.000 The same way you buy them muscle balls. 1.00
01:23:01.000 All that soy milk, all the good shit he tell you. 1.00
01:23:05.000 I don't know what people do for health and shit. 1.00
01:23:10.000 I mean, I drink cow milk. 1.00
01:23:12.000 This is like vitamins.
01:23:14.000 I do too.
01:23:14.000 I drink cow milk.
01:23:15.000 I don't fucking like soy milk. 0.99
01:23:17.000 I only use it if I'm cooking. 0.98
01:23:18.000 Now I just feel weird. 0.99
01:23:20.000 I feel like I'm sucking on somebody's titty when I'm drinking it. 0.99
01:23:22.000 It's nasty. 1.00
01:23:23.000 A little bit.
01:23:24.000 Why?
01:23:25.000 Tastes good with cookies, though.
01:23:26.000 Because we're the only species that drinks other species.
01:23:29.000 Yeah, you know what else we do?
01:23:31.000 We fly planes.
01:23:32.000 We make movies.
01:23:33.000 You ain't lying about that.
01:23:33.000 We shoot guns.
01:23:34.000 We do a lot of shit that other species don't do. 1.00
01:23:36.000 And we suck cow titties. 1.00
01:23:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:23:37.000 I ain't never suck no cow titties. 1.00
01:23:38.000 When you drink milk, you do. 1.00
01:23:39.000 I ain't sucking no titties. 1.00
01:23:41.000 You got me fucked up. 1.00
01:23:42.000 You don't have to suck them. 1.00
01:23:43.000 Somebody else did it for you. 1.00
01:23:44.000 Somebody else did it and I paid for it.
01:23:46.000 Exactly.
01:23:49.000 When I make a macaroni and cheese or you're baking a cake or something.
01:23:53.000 Oh, then you'll accept it. 1.00
01:23:54.000 Yeah, then I can suck the cow titty. 1.00
01:23:56.000 You ain't sucking no cow titty. 1.00
01:23:58.000 I feel like I'm sucking cow titty. 1.00
01:24:00.000 Something is mentally wrong with you. 1.00
01:24:02.000 I guess so.
01:24:03.000 I guess so. 1.00
01:24:04.000 I'd rather suck almond titties because almonds don't have titties. 1.00
01:24:08.000 Almonds are ridiculous. 1.00
01:24:09.000 Are you crazy, Jordan? 1.00
01:24:11.000 No, almonds don't have titties. 0.98
01:24:12.000 So when you drink almond milk, it's good.
01:24:14.000 This is not milk.
01:24:15.000 You shouldn't call it milk.
01:24:16.000 Why not?
01:24:17.000 It's milk.
01:24:17.000 It's not.
01:24:18.000 But I have to fool myself because it's white and it's creamy. 0.93
01:24:21.000 Yeah, but it's just fucked up almond water. 1.00
01:24:25.000 Don't you have sex? 1.00
01:24:25.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:24:26.000 What's that got to do with milk?
01:24:27.000 What's that got to do with milk?
01:24:29.000 It's white and creamy.
01:24:38.000 It ain't a gallon of it, but it's white and creamy.
01:24:41.000 Apparently not if you get a vasectomy. 0.99
01:24:44.000 Well, your man ain't got no vasectomy.
01:24:48.000 I don't understand. 0.93
01:24:48.000 I think he anti-titties. 0.93
01:24:51.000 I don't mind titties. 0.69
01:24:53.000 There's a lot of people that have that thought about milk, that we are the only species that drinks the milk of other animals.
01:25:00.000 The vegan people say the same thing.
01:25:01.000 Don't eat the women running around here with blood on themselves in KFC. I'm like, bitch, I don't care what you do. 1.00
01:25:06.000 Don't you burn your ass down to Chick-fil-A with this bullshit. 1.00
01:25:11.000 People do that to protest? 1.00
01:25:12.000 They put blood on themselves? 1.00
01:25:13.000 Yeah, somebody was standing in KFC with fucking blood. 1.00
01:25:17.000 You're killing the chicken and I'm going to fuck you up if you fuck up my number one. 1.00
01:25:20.000 See, they don't know because that ain't real chicken. 1.00
01:25:23.000 Ain't nobody getting killed.
01:25:25.000 KFC's not real chicken. 1.00
01:25:26.000 Don't say that shit. 1.00
01:25:27.000 This is a Joe Rogan park. 1.00
01:25:27.000 Can you get sued? 1.00
01:25:28.000 There's bones.
01:25:31.000 It's good.
01:25:32.000 I heard it wasn't real.
01:25:33.000 What?
01:25:34.000 I heard that a lot of fast food chicken is not chicken and chicken.
01:25:39.000 Listen, if you buy Kentucky Fried Chicken and it has a bone in it, they're not putting bones in fake chickens.
01:25:45.000 It's cheaper. 1.00
01:25:46.000 Don't they put the shots in the shit? 1.00
01:25:48.000 They put the shots in everything. 1.00
01:25:50.000 You got the COVID shot. 1.00
01:25:52.000 What the fuck you worried about it for? 1.00
01:25:53.000 Those shots are expensive. 1.00
01:25:55.000 What they've done is it's selective breeding and they've created these animals that grow faster and they have larger breasts. 0.94
01:26:01.000 That's the problem.
01:26:01.000 What do you mean by created?
01:26:03.000 I'm trying to explain to you.
01:26:03.000 Every time you nut you create something.
01:26:05.000 I'm trying to explain to you.
01:26:05.000 No, no, no.
01:26:06.000 It's selective breeding.
01:26:07.000 It's the same reason why we have poodles and we also have German shepherds.
01:26:10.000 It's selective breeding. 1.00
01:26:11.000 So they take big chickens to fuck other big chickens. 1.00
01:26:13.000 They've turned chickens into this new thing that they can't... 0.96
01:26:16.000 If you buy like a chicken from 50, 60 years ago, it took a long time for those chickens to get large.
01:26:23.000 Now chickens grow large way quicker.
01:26:25.000 They're way bigger than they used to be before.
01:26:27.000 And everybody thinks they're pumping chickens with steroids. 0.62
01:26:29.000 They're not.
01:26:31.000 They're not.
01:26:32.000 It's selective breeding.
01:26:33.000 They do use antibiotics with cows.
01:26:35.000 The reason why they use antibiotics with cows, though, is because they're feeding them things that the cows are not supposed to eat and they develop all these infections because cows are not supposed to be eating corn.
01:26:44.000 When you buy a steak and it's all that marbling, what that is is a sick animal.
01:26:51.000 That's why it has so much fat in it.
01:26:52.000 If you give those animals antibiotics, you can keep them from getting ill and they can get them to slaughter.
01:26:59.000 But even animals, even if you buy cows, steroids are expensive.
01:27:04.000 They're not going to fill them up with steroids.
01:27:05.000 It's selective breeding for the most part.
01:27:08.000 So, can you buy your meat from the street?
01:27:11.000 Excuse me?
01:27:11.000 Do you buy your meat from the grocery store?
01:27:13.000 I hunt.
01:27:14.000 I know.
01:27:14.000 I still hunt.
01:27:15.000 Most of the meat that I eat, I like to get it myself.
01:27:18.000 Really? 1.00
01:27:19.000 Sometimes I be tapping on the shit. 1.00
01:27:20.000 God damn it, Joe. 1.00
01:27:21.000 You fucking up my diet. 1.00
01:27:26.000 I've always been so curious. 0.99
01:27:27.000 I would like to do that, but I feel like I would have pity on that. 0.83
01:27:30.000 I couldn't watch me shoot them. 0.93
01:27:33.000 There's definitely a sense of loss.
01:27:35.000 There's definitely a feeling of loss.
01:27:36.000 Do you have a moment of silence?
01:27:38.000 Yeah.
01:27:39.000 What are you killing?
01:27:40.000 Elk, mostly. 0.73
01:27:41.000 Because if I shoot one elk, I could eat it for a year.
01:27:45.000 What do elk taste like?
01:27:46.000 Delicious.
01:27:47.000 It's amazing.
01:27:48.000 Is it grainy like deer?
01:27:51.000 Well, it's like deer, but it's more delicious.
01:27:53.000 It's darker.
01:27:54.000 It's like a dark red.
01:27:56.000 It's fantastic.
01:27:57.000 So you don't buy meat at the grocery store?
01:27:58.000 I do.
01:27:58.000 I still buy meat at the grocery store.
01:28:00.000 But for the most part, I like to get my meat from hunting.
01:28:05.000 That's so cool.
01:28:06.000 Do you kill pigs too? 1.00
01:28:07.000 I'll kill the shit out of them. 1.00
01:28:08.000 Oh shit. 1.00
01:28:09.000 I can't. 1.00
01:28:10.000 Oh.
01:28:11.000 Yeah, especially wild ones.
01:28:13.000 That's the only one you hunt.
01:28:14.000 Do you eat them too?
01:28:14.000 Yeah.
01:28:15.000 Do you shoot chickens?
01:28:17.000 No.
01:28:18.000 No.
01:28:18.000 I've never killed a chicken.
01:28:20.000 My mama did on the clothesline. 1.00
01:28:21.000 I almost killed a chicken that tried to bite my daughter. 1.00
01:28:24.000 Chickens are ruthless little fucks. 1.00
01:28:26.000 I don't know if you know this, but chickens are like little dinosaurs. 0.99
01:28:28.000 I used to have chickens, but they got all killed by coyotes when I lived in L.A. But if you put like a baby mouse in a room with chickens, they will swarm on it faster than a cat.
01:28:39.000 They are ferocious.
01:28:41.000 They're ferocious. 0.98
01:28:43.000 They are such little monsters. 1.00
01:28:45.000 Like if they find a mouse, they attack that fucking mouse, a rat, a rat will not survive five seconds in a chicken coop. 1.00
01:28:51.000 Chicken eat rats. 1.00
01:28:52.000 Oh my god.
01:28:53.000 They don't just eat them. 1.00
01:28:54.000 They run after them and fucking attack them. 1.00
01:28:57.000 What? 1.00
01:28:57.000 Savagely. 1.00
01:28:58.000 They tear mice apart.
01:29:00.000 They were fighting over it.
01:29:01.000 I put a mouse in the chicken coop.
01:29:03.000 It's a long story, but here's the story.
01:29:05.000 We put a glass fence on my house and hawks would be flying into this fence and knocking themselves out. 0.98
01:29:11.000 It was kind of fucked up. 0.96
01:29:12.000 We KO'd like three or four hawks. 0.99
01:29:15.000 It was not good.
01:29:16.000 So we're trying to figure out what to do with this one hawk.
01:29:18.000 It was wounded, but it was still alive, and we had to bring it to this wildlife rescue center.
01:29:23.000 So over the weekend, the center was closed. 0.97
01:29:26.000 We had to wait till Monday, and the hawk got fucked up on Friday. 0.96
01:29:30.000 So we went to the store, and you buy these things called pinkies. 0.98
01:29:34.000 Pinkies are little baby mice that they feed to reptiles. 0.99
01:29:38.000 People own snakes and shit like that. 0.99
01:29:40.000 So my daughters rehabilitated this hawk and fed it these little pinkies, and it ate a few of them, but it had one left. 0.99
01:29:48.000 And they were like, we want to keep that one and raise it. 0.99
01:29:50.000 You just fed the other ones to this fucking hawk. 0.99
01:29:53.000 Now you want to raise it? 1.00
01:29:54.000 And I'm like, first of all, it's a mouse.
01:29:56.000 You're not going to have a pet mouse.
01:29:57.000 And second of all, this little baby needs milk to survive.
01:30:01.000 It's not weaned yet.
01:30:03.000 They literally sell them to be fed almost immediately to reptiles and lizards.
01:30:11.000 So we eventually get over this and I tell them I'm gonna go feed it to the chickens.
01:30:16.000 So I go out into the chicken coop.
01:30:18.000 I open the door of the chicken coop.
01:30:20.000 I put this thing down and they knew exactly what it was.
01:30:24.000 They just...
01:30:24.000 They swarmed on it.
01:30:26.000 One chicken got it and the rest of the chickens chased this chicken around. 0.90
01:30:30.000 They were trying to pull it out of her face. 0.99
01:30:32.000 It was wild. 1.00
01:30:34.000 The most ferocious shit I've ever seen in my life. 1.00
01:30:36.000 I've never heard that. 0.99
01:30:38.000 There's a fun video of a chicken and a cat.
01:30:41.000 And the cat is trying to play with this mouse.
01:30:43.000 And the cat is like creeping up on this mouse. 1.00
01:30:46.000 And the chicken is like, bitch, give me that! 1.00
01:30:48.000 And runs over and steals it from the cat. 1.00
01:30:50.000 And the chicken just starts fucking it. 0.97
01:30:53.000 They don't play with their food either. 1.00
01:30:55.000 They kill it.
01:30:55.000 This is why I don't mess with birds.
01:30:57.000 Watch this.
01:30:57.000 Look at this cat.
01:30:58.000 See this cat?
01:31:00.000 So the cat's got the mouse, and it's like, look at this mouse.
01:31:03.000 I can't believe I got him.
01:31:05.000 And cats, you know, they're playing on their instincts. 0.99
01:31:09.000 And so this cat is, like, fucking around with this mouse, but not killing it. 0.98
01:31:13.000 Just swatting at it. 0.99
01:31:15.000 And the chicken recognizes that this cat is pussyfooting around.
01:31:20.000 Look at that chicken.
01:31:21.000 Look at this chicken.
01:31:22.000 Look at him.
01:31:23.000 No, he did not.
01:31:24.000 Yes, he did. 1.00
01:31:24.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00
01:31:26.000 Yeah, look at that. 1.00
01:31:26.000 He's like, give me that shit. 1.00
01:31:28.000 Look at him tearing it apart. 1.00
01:31:29.000 Not Ben.
01:31:30.000 She's just slaughtering him.
01:31:32.000 I'm turning vegan. 0.80
01:31:33.000 Oh my god. 1.00
01:31:34.000 See, this is why I don't fuck with birds. 0.99
01:31:36.000 And that cat just stepped back like, okay, you got it. 0.99
01:31:39.000 I've never seen.
01:31:40.000 I didn't know.
01:31:41.000 Chickens are ruthless.
01:31:43.000 This chicken attacked my daughter when she was like three and was pecking at her feet. 1.00
01:31:48.000 And my wife was like, she didn't know.
01:31:51.000 The chicken didn't know.
01:31:52.000 I go, no, she knew.
01:31:53.000 She was trying to eat her. 0.97
01:31:55.000 They try to eat each other.
01:31:57.000 They're pecking at each other.
01:31:58.000 That's why they call it pecking order.
01:32:00.000 Like chickens will murder each other. 1.00
01:32:01.000 So you went out there and slapped the shit out of the chicken? 1.00
01:32:03.000 I grabbed that little motherfucker. 1.00
01:32:05.000 And I was like, you have seconds left to live. 1.00
01:32:08.000 Seconds. 0.98
01:32:08.000 Did you eat him after you killed him? 0.98
01:32:09.000 No, I didn't kill it.
01:32:11.000 I didn't kill it.
01:32:11.000 But my wife was like, just give it a chance.
01:32:13.000 She never fucked with my daughter again. 1.00
01:32:15.000 She never fucked with anybody again. 1.00
01:32:16.000 You jacked the chicken up, John? 1.00
01:32:17.000 I grabbed it by its neck.
01:32:18.000 I grabbed it by its neck. 0.82
01:32:19.000 And they were trying to talk me into not killing it right there and then. 1.00
01:32:23.000 I was like, I will fucking kill you. 1.00
01:32:26.000 And the chicken was like, okay. 1.00
01:32:28.000 I put it down and that was the end of that.
01:32:30.000 Never did it again.
01:32:32.000 It's almost like it knew.
01:32:33.000 One time I had just remodeled my house.
01:32:36.000 I lived in Riverdale, Georgia.
01:32:38.000 And I don't know how these rats got in my house. 1.00
01:32:40.000 Big ass rats. 0.99
01:32:41.000 And they had chewed through the captains that I had just had some brand new captains put in. 0.99
01:32:45.000 And my husband go downstairs to fix my daughter's bottle, Joe. 0.83
01:32:49.000 And my daughter, Gary, probably was three months old, and he cut on a light and two big-ass rats in the kitchen.
01:32:55.000 He came back upstairs. 1.00
01:32:57.000 He said, motherfucking rats trying to get my baby. 1.00
01:32:59.000 And he go back downstairs, and it was a can of tuna because we had been shopping. 1.00
01:33:03.000 And he got up on the island, and this motherfucker threw this can of tuna and hit this cat on the head. 1.00
01:33:10.000 I mean, they hit this rat on the head. 1.00
01:33:11.000 The rat stood up and said, and just fell back when the other rat said, these niggas killing niggas. 1.00
01:33:19.000 That motherfuckin' rat squares back through that hole. 1.00
01:33:22.000 He killed him with a can of tuna. 1.00
01:33:23.000 He killed him with a can of tuna. 0.97
01:33:24.000 He stood up like he was praying and just fell. 0.96
01:33:27.000 And I said, no, don't hit him no more. 1.00
01:33:31.000 My husband don't give a fuck. 0.99
01:33:34.000 One time, a squirrel got in the house, and I was so scared. 0.99
01:33:37.000 My daughter was, I had a C-6 with my son.
01:33:39.000 So, it was just me and one other kid had to stay home and help me. 1.00
01:33:42.000 All day, we in the room, scared of them motherfuckers. 1.00
01:33:45.000 My husband was coming for her. 1.00
01:33:46.000 I said, it's a fucking squirrel downstairs. 0.99
01:33:47.000 It's a squirrel downstairs, and we ain't been able to eat all day because we scared of the squirrel. 1.00
01:33:51.000 My husband went in that living room, moved that sofa, slapped the shit out of that squirrel, and opened the back door and kicked that motherfucker so hard, it went, it just, it caught onto the tree. 1.00
01:34:06.000 Miles, I say, the motherfucker, you going to jail for animal abuse. 1.00
01:34:10.000 He had just bought a truck one time. 1.00
01:34:11.000 He come out, all these cats just laying on top of the truck. 0.99
01:34:14.000 He whooped them cats' ass. 0.99
01:34:16.000 Do you hear me? 1.00
01:34:17.000 He mean as fuck. 1.00
01:34:19.000 He don't abuse animal, okay? 1.00
01:34:21.000 Don't be calling Peter on a nigga.
01:34:22.000 He just don't want you in his house or sitting on his new truck. 0.65
01:34:25.000 I understand.
01:34:26.000 I went to the airport once and I left my car there for a week.
01:34:29.000 We went to Italy and we came back home and cats at the airport, they live there.
01:34:33.000 There's a bunch of cats living at LAX. They had shit all over my car. 0.99
01:34:37.000 I mean, all over it. 1.00
01:34:38.000 It was all over the ceiling of the moonroof was covered with shit and piss. 0.99
01:34:44.000 Like they had decided that my truck was a litter box. 1.00
01:34:47.000 It was disgusting. 0.88
01:34:48.000 And they stink. 0.98
01:34:49.000 I think it's still on Instagram somewhere.
01:34:52.000 Do you have cats?
01:34:54.000 Not anymore, no.
01:34:55.000 What you got, dogs?
01:34:56.000 Oh, I just love your dog.
01:34:57.000 Your dog got more followers than I do.
01:34:59.000 He's so cute.
01:35:00.000 What kind of dog do you have?
01:35:02.000 He's a golden retriever.
01:35:03.000 I had a German Shepherd pup pup.
01:35:06.000 Oh, those are great.
01:35:06.000 They're smart dogs, though.
01:35:08.000 Yeah, he killed himself, though.
01:35:09.000 Oh, no.
01:35:10.000 What happened?
01:35:11.000 Ronald Reagan got reelected.
01:35:13.000 He jumped out the back porch.
01:35:16.000 That was the cover of my sunroof.
01:35:20.000 Wow.
01:35:21.000 By the way, that's just a little bit of it.
01:35:22.000 When I drove, it was making all this noise. 0.97
01:35:24.000 I was like, what the fuck is on the roof? 0.96
01:35:26.000 And we stopped, and my daughter started laughing. 1.00
01:35:28.000 They said, there's shit on your roof. 0.99
01:35:31.000 I'm like, no! 1.00
01:35:32.000 Joe, that don't look like cat turds. 0.99
01:35:33.000 That look like grown motherfucking turds. 1.00
01:35:34.000 No, that was cats. 0.99
01:35:35.000 I saw the cats.
01:35:37.000 Oh, God.
01:35:38.000 Yeah.
01:35:38.000 They had done dried out and everything.
01:35:40.000 You were gone for a while.
01:35:41.000 We were gone for like, it says I was parked there for 11 days when we were in Italy. 0.99
01:35:46.000 They had shit and pissed all over the sunroof. 0.99
01:35:48.000 It was crazy. 1.00
01:35:49.000 You drove for 35 miles.
01:35:51.000 That's all that was left.
01:35:52.000 Yeah.
01:35:52.000 Well, that was after I drove, right?
01:35:54.000 That was at the gas station.
01:35:55.000 So I drove 35 miles home.
01:35:56.000 So you didn't get bottled water and poured on top of it?
01:35:59.000 No, I got it washed.
01:36:00.000 Took it somewhere.
01:36:01.000 Wow.
01:36:02.000 Did it leak in your car?
01:36:04.000 No, no, no, no.
01:36:05.000 It was just a glass sunroof. 1.00
01:36:06.000 But why they decided to shit there? 1.00
01:36:08.000 Like, they literally shit only on the glass. 1.00
01:36:10.000 They knew that was your car. 0.99
01:36:11.000 Maybe.
01:36:12.000 They knew it was fans.
01:36:14.000 They thought this was going to be funny.
01:36:15.000 They're like, he's going to laugh at this.
01:36:18.000 But I guess they keep cats at LAX to keep the rat population down.
01:36:23.000 Really?
01:36:24.000 They need to take them to New York?
01:36:25.000 Also, they do that on purpose.
01:36:27.000 They do it at Disneyland, too, you know.
01:36:28.000 At Disneyland, they have wild cats running around.
01:36:31.000 You'll see them at Disneyland.
01:36:32.000 I just love Disney.
01:36:34.000 You know, I am a Disney freak. 0.98
01:36:36.000 I fucking love Disney. 0.98
01:36:38.000 Universe Studios, I make them go every year. 0.98
01:36:40.000 I went to, let me tell you, so I was doing a radio interview and somebody, the guy was like, oh Miss Pat, you gotta do the VIP pass.
01:36:49.000 I'm quite sure you know the VIP pass.
01:36:50.000 I don't know.
01:36:51.000 I'm black.
01:36:52.000 I just got a few dollars.
01:36:54.000 So I was like, so I called my traveler. 0.97
01:36:55.000 I said, what the fuck is the VIP pass? 0.92
01:36:57.000 She said, I didn't think he wanted to pay that much. 0.99
01:36:58.000 It's 18 of us. 1.00
01:36:59.000 I said, well shit, you only live once. 1.00
01:37:01.000 Why not? 0.99
01:37:02.000 So she called back, she said, $12,000.
01:37:04.000 I was like, these niggas ain't got that kind of money. 1.00
01:37:07.000 So I paid for everybody. 0.98
01:37:10.000 Oh, Joe, it was so fucking good. 0.90
01:37:14.000 I only rode three rides, but when I tell you, I kind of felt embarrassed a little bit because they take you through that side door and you pop out and everybody's like, is that an athlete? 0.95
01:37:24.000 Is that some movie star? 0.99
01:37:25.000 Who the fuck is it? 1.00
01:37:26.000 And it was 18 of us and I could just hear the chatter. 1.00
01:37:29.000 Who the fuck is these people? 0.99
01:37:30.000 And I kind of feel like I felt bad a little bit. 1.00
01:37:33.000 And then my friends who I was with, they would get out the ride and they want to get back on. 1.00
01:37:37.000 I say, you some greedy motherfuckers. 1.00
01:37:39.000 These people are waiting. 1.00
01:37:40.000 And so they're like, would you like to ride again?
01:37:42.000 He's like, yeah. 0.99
01:37:43.000 And they just kept jumping on the fucking rides. 0.99
01:37:45.000 Have you ever been to Disney World in Florida? 0.99
01:37:50.000 No, that's what we went.
01:37:51.000 We went to Disney World in Florida.
01:37:53.000 Yeah, we did do it, yeah.
01:37:54.000 Disney World has that Avatar ride.
01:37:56.000 Did you do that Avatar ride?
01:37:57.000 Oh, that's so cool.
01:37:59.000 That's so cool.
01:38:00.000 Not me.
01:38:00.000 They did it.
01:38:01.000 I don't do it.
01:38:02.000 It's amazing.
01:38:03.000 It's so cool.
01:38:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:38:05.000 What's it called?
01:38:06.000 Throwing up.
01:38:08.000 Flights of something or another? 0.99
01:38:09.000 It's fucking incredible. 0.98
01:38:11.000 It's all virtual reality. 0.99
01:38:13.000 You have headsets on.
01:38:14.000 It's like you sit on top of this thing.
01:38:16.000 It looks like a motorcycle or a jet ski, but they strap you in, and in the virtual reality, you're flying on one of those dragons.
01:38:24.000 It's the best ride of all time.
01:38:26.000 Man, I think they rode it three or four times that day.
01:38:29.000 That's the ride.
01:38:29.000 They rode it.
01:38:31.000 Joe, we was finished with the park by 2 o'clock.
01:38:33.000 Play the video so people can see what it looks like when you ride it.
01:38:35.000 I'm telling you, it is 100% the greatest ride I've ever been on, by far.
01:38:40.000 By far.
01:38:41.000 Like, their POV right there, boom, Fights of Passage, POV. It's fucking incredible. 0.98
01:38:47.000 Incredible. 0.99
01:38:48.000 They loved it.
01:38:49.000 My family loved it, Joe. 1.00
01:38:51.000 You could feel the breeze and shit. 1.00
01:38:53.000 They have fans blowing on you. 0.99
01:38:54.000 All the scents of the flowers and the water.
01:38:56.000 And you have to sync up to that thing that you fly on.
01:39:01.000 What is it? 0.94
01:39:01.000 The dragon bird or whatever the fuck it is. 0.94
01:39:03.000 You link to it and then you fly off. 0.98
01:39:06.000 It's wild. 0.99
01:39:07.000 I mean, it is fucking wild. 0.99
01:39:09.000 And I love Disney World. 0.98
01:39:13.000 You stay at a resort.
01:39:15.000 I'm quite sure you got a home down there.
01:39:16.000 No, I don't have a home in Florida.
01:39:18.000 I love the resort.
01:39:19.000 I stayed at the...
01:39:20.000 What did I stay?
01:39:24.000 Contemporary.
01:39:24.000 It was okay, but I'm on my way back for Memorial Day, and there's like 60 of us going.
01:39:30.000 You excited? 0.99
01:39:31.000 Yeah, I love fucking Disney. 1.00
01:39:33.000 You know what? 0.99
01:39:34.000 And I don't do a lot of rides.
01:39:35.000 It's just like, just seeing...
01:39:37.000 You know, because I don't have family.
01:39:39.000 Real family.
01:39:39.000 You know, just the people that I take in.
01:39:41.000 And then I'm always, you know, just to see the people that I gather and see the smile on their faces.
01:39:46.000 Yeah.
01:39:46.000 You know, because I'm 49. I'm not going to get on that bullshit.
01:39:49.000 But I just feel like I'm with family. 0.98
01:39:51.000 I'm having fun.
01:39:53.000 And it just makes me happy.
01:39:55.000 And it's like Disney again. 1.00
01:39:57.000 Disney again, bitch. 1.00
01:39:58.000 It's either the boat or the park. 1.00
01:39:59.000 And you're going to shut the fuck up because I can finally afford to go to Disney. 0.99
01:40:02.000 And I didn't even know Disney exists when I was a little girl, okay? 1.00
01:40:05.000 So I'm going to fucking Disney. 0.99
01:40:06.000 And she rode around on a scooter. 1.00
01:40:09.000 Did you get a scooter?
01:40:12.000 You got a Disney scooter?
01:40:13.000 How dare you?
01:40:15.000 How dare you? 1.00
01:40:17.000 Fuck you, Jordan. 1.00
01:40:18.000 You know how to walk? 1.00
01:40:19.000 What the fuck are you doing on one of those corners? 0.99
01:40:22.000 Let me tell you what happened. 1.00
01:40:23.000 Don't you tell me shit. 1.00
01:40:26.000 My husband, fuck you, Jordan, is hot out there. 1.00
01:40:29.000 I had a wig on. 1.00
01:40:31.000 He's trying to give a bitch a heat stroke. 1.00
01:40:33.000 You got a wig on? 1.00
01:40:35.000 My husband has a torn ACL, so I rented the scooter for him. 1.00
01:40:38.000 And he's like, I'm not getting on that old people shit. 1.00
01:40:40.000 And I'm like, you don't want to ride the scooter? 0.99
01:40:42.000 I don't pay for it. 0.99
01:40:43.000 He's like, I can fucking walk. 1.00
01:40:44.000 So I said, fuck it. 1.00
01:40:45.000 I'm getting on the fucking scooter. 1.00
01:40:48.000 So here I am, flying through the park on the fucking scooter. 1.00
01:40:51.000 Oh my God. 0.99
01:40:52.000 And we're walking every fucking way. 0.98
01:40:54.000 So I had the scooter already written and paid for. 0.99
01:40:56.000 I sure did ride that fucking scooter. 0.99
01:40:58.000 So you took a ride to get on the rides. 1.00
01:41:01.000 Oh my God. 1.00
01:41:03.000 My husband's like, you should really get off that fucking scooter. 1.00
01:41:07.000 What would you have done if someone recognized you? 1.00
01:41:09.000 I got recognized like twice.
01:41:11.000 On the scooter?
01:41:13.000 I did like...
01:41:18.000 You see my t-shirts I made? 0.99
01:41:21.000 I told my kids, don't ask for shit. 0.99
01:41:23.000 We just left Disney. 1.00
01:41:24.000 That's awesome.
01:41:25.000 Yeah, that's my niece.
01:41:27.000 We had so much fun.
01:41:28.000 I get into it, Joe.
01:41:30.000 We gotta have the ears.
01:41:31.000 You have to have the shirts. 1.00
01:41:32.000 If you don't participate, I kick you the fuck out of my group. 1.00
01:41:35.000 You have to stay where I'm staying. 1.00
01:41:37.000 You got to have the spirit.
01:41:37.000 Yeah, you got to.
01:41:38.000 And if you can't afford it, we're going to sell cookies or t-shirts till we all can afford this shit. 1.00
01:41:43.000 And some people, I was like, look, motherfucker, come on on the road. 1.00
01:41:46.000 I mean, you can work for me a little while. 0.99
01:41:47.000 We're going to do a bake sale.
01:41:48.000 We're going to go. 1.00
01:41:49.000 We're going to do this shit the right way. 0.99
01:41:51.000 Because the experience I had last year, I'm like, you're never going to get me to do park hopping again. 0.99
01:41:56.000 You're never going to get me at a Motel 6 again. 0.99
01:41:58.000 Bitch, I had a resort where they make up your bed when you blink your eye. 1.00
01:42:02.000 LAUGHTER You want to hear something crazy, Joe? 1.00
01:42:06.000 So we walk in the resort, it's 18 of us.
01:42:08.000 So I rented a car, and my kids got on that Mickey bus, right?
01:42:11.000 My whole family.
01:42:13.000 So we walk in, we all dressed alike.
01:42:16.000 Joe, I'm not going to say they was racist, but when you see 18 black folks walking to a place, you know, you ain't used to seeing it. 1.00
01:42:23.000 White folks are like, what the fuck? 0.99
01:42:25.000 They start to ask, are y'all a reunion? 1.00
01:42:27.000 I'm like, no, motherfucker, are you a reunion? 1.00
01:42:29.000 LAUGHTER Are you a reunion? 1.00
01:42:33.000 Are you guys a reunion?
01:42:35.000 What are you celebrating? 0.92
01:42:36.000 We're on vacation, white people. 0.90
01:42:38.000 Ain't you on vacation? 1.00
01:42:42.000 And we got asked that shit like a hundred times. 0.99
01:42:44.000 Are you a reunion? 0.99
01:42:45.000 What do you guys celebrate?
01:42:47.000 Nothing. 1.00
01:42:47.000 What the fuck are you and them four white babies to celebrate? 1.00
01:42:50.000 We on vacation, white people. 1.00
01:42:52.000 We just dressed alike. 1.00
01:42:54.000 Can you leave us the fuck alone? 0.99
01:42:55.000 They kept asking us that. 0.99
01:42:57.000 Because every park I had a t-shirt for. 0.99
01:43:00.000 And you have to wear my fucking t-shirt and eels and hats. 0.99
01:43:03.000 I go all out. 1.00
01:43:04.000 And I do it all myself in between all of this bullshit I've been doing. 0.98
01:43:08.000 And they just, the whole weekend. 0.95
01:43:10.000 Every park you had a different shirt?
01:43:11.000 Mm-hmm.
01:43:12.000 I've already started making shirts.
01:43:13.000 I've already started making shirts.
01:43:18.000 Disney World, for people who've only been at Disneyland, Disney World is like ten times bigger.
01:43:22.000 Ten times bigger.
01:43:23.000 It's so big.
01:43:24.000 I went and I could only go...
01:43:26.000 I was supposed to be there for two days, but it stormed, so my flight got canceled, so I could only do four parks in one day.
01:43:31.000 Oh, my feet was hurting.
01:43:32.000 My feet was hurting, going from Epcot to, what's the other one, Animal Kingdom.
01:43:36.000 And you know what?
01:43:37.000 Disney is so...
01:43:38.000 Okay, I bought all the Disney part, and then we did the VIP at the Universal.
01:43:42.000 But it rained so bad during 4th of July, right?
01:43:45.000 Oh, it rains a lot down in Florida.
01:43:46.000 Yeah, so it rained so bad that we couldn't go to Epcot.
01:43:48.000 So the lady who booked the trip, she's like, well, I've never heard of Disney giving your money back or giving you a refund.
01:43:54.000 I said, let me tell you something. 0.93
01:43:55.000 Ms. Troop, my third grade teacher, said the dumbest question is the question not asked.
01:43:59.000 I spent like six grand for all of these tickets, and we didn't use. 0.90
01:44:03.000 So she was like, well, Pat, you can give it a try. 0.98
01:44:05.000 I said, shit, I'm going to ask you anything, Joe. 0.99
01:44:07.000 If I'm broken, I need to borrow something, I'm going to call you. 1.00
01:44:09.000 Hey, Joe, I'm hurting.
01:44:10.000 Loan a bit of some money.
01:44:11.000 So I called Disney.
01:44:12.000 I said, look, we didn't use the 18 tickets.
01:44:14.000 They said, no problem.
01:44:16.000 You coming back next year?
01:44:17.000 I said, hell yeah!
01:44:22.000 Did you do the other Avatar ride, the one where you get on a boat?
01:44:25.000 We did all of them.
01:44:27.000 That one's beautiful.
01:44:27.000 I stayed behind because I had my grandkids, but I let them do.
01:44:30.000 We was through with that part.
01:44:32.000 We had so much fun.
01:44:33.000 Oh, that's awesome.
01:44:33.000 And so this time I'm doing VIP for all of Disney and VIP for Universal 2. Yeah.
01:44:40.000 It's going to be dope.
01:44:40.000 Orlando's a wild place in that regard, right?
01:44:42.000 There's so much shit you can do down there. 1.00
01:44:44.000 There's so much shit. 1.00
01:44:45.000 You know Disneyland is so big it has its own Bass Lake. 1.00
01:44:48.000 Yeah, Disney would take you on a bass fishing tour.
01:44:52.000 My youngest loves fishing.
01:44:54.000 So when my daughter was down there with my wife at another place, I took my youngest to go bass fishing.
01:45:02.000 Woke her up at like 5 o'clock in the morning.
01:45:04.000 Really?
01:45:05.000 Yeah, she loves it.
01:45:06.000 I'm going to see if my husband want to do that when we go back.
01:45:08.000 Yeah, it's great.
01:45:09.000 I'm telling you, it's like an amazing bass fishing lake.
01:45:11.000 Like there's bass all over the place in this lake.
01:45:13.000 Wow.
01:45:14.000 They keep it stocked.
01:45:15.000 Can you keep the bass?
01:45:16.000 No.
01:45:16.000 I don't like that kind of fishing.
01:45:18.000 Yeah, you're going to release them.
01:45:19.000 Yeah.
01:45:19.000 I want to catch something I'm going to eat.
01:45:21.000 Yeah, I understand.
01:45:22.000 Normally I do that, but my daughter was into it. 0.99
01:45:25.000 She just wanted to go.
01:45:26.000 Yeah.
01:45:27.000 I wonder what the fish be thinking, like when you have to throw them back. 1.00
01:45:30.000 I'm like, are y'all stupid? 1.00
01:45:32.000 Because why do you keep biting if you know that we always throw you back? 1.00
01:45:35.000 It's never real food, but you keep biting it.
01:45:38.000 There's plenty of real food out there, though.
01:45:40.000 You're tricking them.
01:45:41.000 There's so much real food.
01:45:42.000 Oh, they put real food?
01:45:43.000 Well, there is real food.
01:45:44.000 There's real fish.
01:45:45.000 They eat fish.
01:45:46.000 That's the only reason why they stay.
01:45:47.000 It's not like they don't survive off of what they get when you're fishing with them.
01:45:51.000 They survive off of minnows that are swimming around.
01:45:54.000 So it's like Russian Roulette.
01:45:55.000 You don't know if the hook is the guy.
01:45:57.000 Exactly.
01:45:58.000 They don't see that well. 0.84
01:45:59.000 Their brains are very small.
01:46:01.000 That's what I was thinking.
01:46:02.000 I was like, why do they keep... 0.85
01:46:03.000 Nigga, don't you know it's a trick? 1.00
01:46:04.000 Why do you keep getting on the hook? 0.99
01:46:06.000 Well, it's almost like bad sex. 0.64
01:46:11.000 It's good, but you keep going back.
01:46:14.000 Well, most of the time...
01:46:15.000 Was that not a good finale?
01:46:16.000 No, it's a bad analogy.
01:46:18.000 If you eat a bass and that bass is five years old, if that bass got caught once in its life, that's a lot.
01:46:26.000 So out of the five years, it got caught once or maybe twice.
01:46:29.000 But 365 days a year, it's eating something. 0.86
01:46:32.000 So all day, every day, it's out there fucking up by the little fish. 0.95
01:46:37.000 And that's what bass do. 0.98
01:46:38.000 That's why their mouths are so big.
01:46:40.000 You learn something.
01:46:41.000 Yeah, I know.
01:46:42.000 Did you know that?
01:46:43.000 This boy actually thought they were just waiting on you to fish for them to eat.
01:46:47.000 Literally!
01:46:47.000 I didn't think that.
01:46:49.000 You've never been fishing?
01:46:50.000 No, I've been fishing, but we always keep them.
01:46:52.000 I never throw them back.
01:46:53.000 I fish for catfish, so we never keep them. 0.99
01:46:55.000 So I was like, when people want this property that you have to throw them back, why do they keep biting the damn hook? 0.97
01:47:03.000 They don't get caught that much. 0.90
01:47:05.000 If you think about a lake that's like, you know, a thousand acre lake or however big this lake is, how many fish are in there? 0.99
01:47:12.000 It's like, who the fuck knows? 0.96
01:47:14.000 Hundreds of thousands of fish. 0.99
01:47:16.000 See, I'm not used to fishing at big places like that.
01:47:20.000 He's from Poe Dirt, Texas, okay?
01:47:24.000 Joe, you're going to have to work for him.
01:47:25.000 He's going to come and visit a few more times.
01:47:26.000 I love catfish.
01:47:28.000 I love catfish.
01:47:28.000 It's so good, ain't it?
01:47:30.000 Have you ever fried the tail?
01:47:32.000 It tastes like french fries.
01:47:33.000 No.
01:47:34.000 If you cut off the tail whenever you're cooking them and you just batter it and put it in the pan, it tastes like french fries.
01:47:39.000 My mama used to fry the head. 1.00
01:47:41.000 The heads.
01:47:41.000 The cheeks are good.
01:47:43.000 You can cut the cheeks off.
01:47:44.000 She used to fry the catfish head and brim heads.
01:47:47.000 Brim? 0.87
01:47:48.000 Brim head? 0.82
01:47:48.000 That's a fish? 0.82
01:47:49.000 Yeah.
01:47:49.000 Brim head.
01:47:50.000 They got enough bones in them to kill you. 1.00
01:47:53.000 If you want to kill your mate, feed them a brim sandwich. 1.00
01:47:55.000 Right. 0.99
01:47:55.000 Yeah, there's a lot of bony-ass fish like pike and apparently tarpon. 0.99
01:47:59.000 Tarpon's filled with bones.
01:48:00.000 A friend of mine caught a tarpon.
01:48:02.000 What is that one that's supposed to be a... 0.95
01:48:04.000 I'm going to fuck up the word because I fuck up a lot of words. 1.00
01:48:06.000 That make your dick hard. 1.00
01:48:07.000 What is that? 1.00
01:48:08.000 Which one?
01:48:08.000 Fish?
01:48:09.000 There's a fish?
01:48:10.000 Okay. 1.00
01:48:11.000 Oh, fuck it. 1.00
01:48:12.000 I wish Quix was in because she know everything that make your dick hard. 1.00
01:48:17.000 This is a fish that makes your dick hard? 1.00
01:48:19.000 Aphrodisiac. 1.00
01:48:20.000 What's that shit? 1.00
01:48:21.000 That's an aphrodisiac? 1.00
01:48:22.000 But there's a fish that's an aphrodisiac?
01:48:24.000 What is it?
01:48:24.000 Salmon?
01:48:25.000 Salmon? 0.99
01:48:25.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99
01:48:26.000 There's no salmon make your dick hard. 1.00
01:48:27.000 Like most seafood, salmon enjoys rich history as a natural aphrodisiac. 0.99
01:48:32.000 But it's only in recent times that we pinpoint this fish as a sexual powerhouse.
01:48:36.000 That sounds like something was written by a salmon fisherman.
01:48:41.000 I ain't never had no sex with nobody that ate no salmon. 0.99
01:48:44.000 Have you ever fucked after eating salmon? 0.98
01:48:46.000 Have I ever fucked after I had salmon? 0.95
01:48:48.000 I'm sure I have. 0.99
01:48:48.000 Have you ever had sex after eating salmon? 0.99
01:48:49.000 I'm sure I have. 0.85
01:48:50.000 That's wild.
01:48:51.000 I don't think it's any different though.
01:48:53.000 I've never, I've never, that doesn't make any sense.
01:48:54.000 I don't, how could it be, like, see what does it say? 0.99
01:48:57.000 Who fuck after they eat? 1.00
01:48:58.000 I'll be up sleepy. 1.00
01:49:00.000 Really?
01:49:01.000 Who got that kind of energy?
01:49:03.000 Me.
01:49:04.000 Fish is loaded with minerals, amino acids, and heart-healthy fats that promote sexual well-being.
01:49:08.000 Wow.
01:49:09.000 There you go.
01:49:09.000 So I guess it's omega-3s.
01:49:11.000 Shouldn't you let it digest first?
01:49:13.000 I mean, your food?
01:49:14.000 You just gonna go banging on a full stomach, Joe? 1.00
01:49:17.000 You trying to throw up on a bitch. 1.00
01:49:18.000 No, I'm not gonna throw up. 1.00
01:49:22.000 I would if you jigging me. 0.99
01:49:32.000 That shit gonna be right back in your face. 1.00
01:49:34.000 That should be an episode of your show. 1.00
01:49:35.000 Fucking after food. 0.99
01:49:37.000 You can't do that joke. 1.00
01:49:39.000 God damn. 1.00
01:49:39.000 Everybody ain't in your shape. 1.00
01:49:41.000 You get on the fat bitch, she gonna throw a hole up on you. 1.00
01:49:45.000 You gonna rock that whole meal off my ass. 1.00
01:49:50.000 This should be an episode of your show about how to time it. 1.00
01:49:53.000 After the food digest and you gonna take a nap.
01:49:57.000 So you telling me you can eat a full meal and go in the bedroom and make love?
01:50:02.000 Oh hell yeah.
01:50:03.000 That's dangerous.
01:50:05.000 That's dangerous. 1.00
01:50:08.000 Some of that shit might be still stuck in my esophagus. 1.00
01:50:11.000 Really? 1.00
01:50:13.000 Can you do that?
01:50:14.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:50:18.000 What the fuck is wrong with me? 0.99
01:50:19.000 I'm out of shape. 0.99
01:50:21.000 When I can eat, me and my husband, we both gonna sleep.
01:50:25.000 I think we finally sleep at the table.
01:50:27.000 There's nothing wrong with that either.
01:50:30.000 So, is it good to have salmon?
01:50:31.000 I guess it would burn some calories.
01:50:34.000 Yeah, if you're horny.
01:50:35.000 Who cares? 0.99
01:50:35.000 I need an aphrodisiac. 0.99
01:50:37.000 An aphrodisiac.
01:50:38.000 Some salmon. 1.00
01:50:39.000 I eat salmon all the time and they never did shit for me. 0.99
01:50:41.000 Yeah, I don't believe in it. 0.99
01:50:42.000 That don't make sense. 0.99
01:50:43.000 I'm at the point now, and I know you probably don't want to hear this shit because you're a man. 0.99
01:50:46.000 I love to hear it. 0.99
01:50:47.000 I'm hot flashes, and they move.
01:50:49.000 I'm 49. They move.
01:50:51.000 They was in between my titties. 0.92
01:50:52.000 Now they in between. 1.00
01:50:53.000 They in my ass, Joe. 1.00
01:50:54.000 And this is when you hit menopause? 1.00
01:50:56.000 You get these hot flashes?
01:50:56.000 Well, it ain't stopping.
01:50:57.000 Well, they coming.
01:50:58.000 You get the symptoms, and then eventually you dry up.
01:51:00.000 So it's just like you get a heat.
01:51:02.000 It feels like you got a heat. 1.00
01:51:03.000 It's like somebody put a blow dryer in between your titties, and that's in my butt. 1.00
01:51:07.000 Yeah, it's in between my legs now. 1.00
01:51:10.000 They be fucking up my panty liners. 0.99
01:51:12.000 Jesus. 0.97
01:51:16.000 They say that oysters are supposed to be an aphrodisiac, right?
01:51:20.000 That makes sense, because I think the way you eat them is very sexual, the way people eat oysters. 0.99
01:51:25.000 Yeah, you suck on them. 0.99
01:51:27.000 Yeah, you have to get in there. 1.00
01:51:29.000 They look like undeveloped vaginas. 1.00
01:51:31.000 I can't eat them. 1.00
01:51:31.000 A little bit. 1.00
01:51:32.000 But I think they're rich in zinc.
01:51:34.000 I think that's why.
01:51:35.000 Zinc is good for...
01:51:37.000 I know how smart you is.
01:51:38.000 I need you to get somebody on this podcast to tell me about hot flesh.
01:51:41.000 How do we as women... 1.00
01:51:45.000 Deal with hot flashes.
01:51:46.000 That's a good question.
01:51:47.000 I wonder if there's something that you could use to mitigate it.
01:51:49.000 Whether it's a diet thing or maybe it's a hormonal supplement thing.
01:51:53.000 I've seen skinny people burning up, Joe.
01:51:55.000 No, no, that's not what I mean.
01:51:56.000 I mean diet, like foods, like different foods that you can eat that can mitigate it.
01:52:00.000 I don't mean like go on a diet.
01:52:02.000 Oh.
01:52:03.000 I mean like your diet, like what you eat.
01:52:05.000 But I think...
01:52:06.000 I bet it's hormones.
01:52:07.000 I bet they could give you hormones. 1.00
01:52:10.000 What do they do for hot flashes?
01:52:12.000 Jamie will find out.
01:52:14.000 I bet it's like hormonal replacement.
01:52:16.000 I bet that's what...
01:52:16.000 Estrogen.
01:52:17.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:52:18.000 Oh, so you could take estrogen supplements, maybe.
01:52:20.000 Yeah, you could take estrogen.
01:52:21.000 But then we grow neck hair.
01:52:23.000 No, that's testosterone.
01:52:24.000 The most effective way to release discomfort of hot flashes is to take estrogen.
01:52:29.000 But taking this hormone carries risks.
01:52:32.000 What are the risks?
01:52:34.000 Let's see what it says there. 0.99
01:52:36.000 The risks are you're going to want all the dick. 0.97
01:52:43.000 What are the risks? 1.00
01:52:44.000 It didn't say you're going to want all the dick. 0.99
01:52:46.000 Does it say? 0.99
01:52:50.000 What is the risk?
01:52:51.000 The most effective?
01:52:52.000 The risks.
01:52:54.000 Okay, where are the risks?
01:52:56.000 Medications such as antidepressants and anti-seizure drugs.
01:53:00.000 Where'd you go?
01:53:01.000 Okay.
01:53:02.000 No.
01:53:03.000 But that's what I'm going through, America.
01:53:04.000 If you know some good ways to cool me down, because I'm at the point, I fly with no bra on.
01:53:11.000 And...
01:53:11.000 Just because of the hot flashes?
01:53:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:53:14.000 And I know the person sitting next to me, they be like, this bitch ain't got no bra. 1.00
01:53:17.000 I like those glasses, by the way. 0.99
01:53:19.000 Oh, you do?
01:53:19.000 They look good on you.
01:53:20.000 Oh, you don't ever like my glasses.
01:53:22.000 I like those.
01:53:23.000 Those fit.
01:53:23.000 They look good.
01:53:25.000 I can't see shit, so we need to put that on. 1.00
01:53:28.000 Fucking cross eyes. 1.00
01:53:29.000 I can't see shit either. 1.00
01:53:29.000 Yeah, but if you figure out a way, please let us know how to cool me down. 1.00
01:53:34.000 I bet it's estrogen.
01:53:36.000 I bet that's what it is.
01:53:37.000 I'm quite sure that's what it is.
01:53:38.000 What do I buy that?
01:53:40.000 Oh, plant estrogen.
01:53:42.000 Asian women who consume soy regularly are less likely to report hot flashes because soy actually elevates your estrogen and other menopausal symptoms than women in other parts of the world.
01:53:54.000 One reason might be related to the estrogen-like compounds in soy.
01:53:57.000 However, studies have generally found little or no benefit with plant estrogens.
01:54:03.000 Interesting.
01:54:04.000 So a bunch of different foods.
01:54:07.000 Ginseng, vitamin E, eh.
01:54:09.000 Nothing.
01:54:10.000 Just live.
01:54:11.000 Live and burn up. 0.99
01:54:12.000 Hot titties forever, Joe. 0.98
01:54:13.000 Man, I want to give you something to talk about. 0.94
01:54:15.000 What?
01:54:16.000 The hot flashes.
01:54:17.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
01:54:17.000 Old bitches love that. 1.00
01:54:21.000 They do. 1.00
01:54:22.000 They always like to talk about it.
01:54:23.000 They always get fans out. 1.00
01:54:27.000 Golden girl pussies. 1.00
01:54:30.000 I'm so old, old bitches can't put landing strips on them. 1.00
01:54:33.000 We just let it grow and burn up. 0.99
01:54:36.000 Do you let it grow now?
01:54:38.000 Yeah.
01:54:39.000 Madness down there?
01:54:40.000 Well, you know I'm African-American, so it's like Jackson 5 down now.
01:54:46.000 Jackson 5!
01:54:47.000 With no chemicals.
01:54:49.000 I mean, I don't have time to be shaving.
01:54:52.000 I mean, you know, some days I lift my stomach up and whack-tack-tack, but it's nothing sexy, you know?
01:54:59.000 My friend's like, I'm going to get me a landing strip. 1.00
01:55:01.000 Bitch, you got planes in your pussy? 1.00
01:55:04.000 Have you ever been waxed? 1.00
01:55:07.000 No, I can't. 0.99
01:55:08.000 I'm very, no, I don't want nobody down there in my vagina just yanking the hairs off of me. 0.99
01:55:16.000 I just, I think that's very lazy, you know, that you can't shave your own vagina. 1.00
01:55:22.000 But isn't it more efficient if you get a wax? 0.99
01:55:24.000 Doesn't it take a little bit longer to grow back rather than shaving?
01:55:27.000 Yeah.
01:55:28.000 Or the worst is you get it lasered.
01:55:30.000 Zap it.
01:55:31.000 They kill the follicles.
01:55:32.000 But who don't?
01:55:33.000 I'm 49. When it get cold and that air tries to get between your legs, that vagina hair blocks the hair and it keeps the clit from freezing? 1.00
01:55:41.000 Well, if you live in a cold climate, yes. 0.99
01:55:44.000 Yeah, so I live in Indiana, so you can't just walk around with no bald head vagina. 1.00
01:55:48.000 You could be in the hospital. 0.99
01:55:50.000 That's true.
01:55:51.000 Yeah.
01:55:52.000 Or just wear pants.
01:55:54.000 The air come through the pants.
01:55:56.000 Like a lot of people. 0.99
01:55:57.000 A lot of people out there with shaved pussies walking around in subarctic climates. 0.99
01:56:02.000 I don't understand why you want all the hair off. 0.99
01:56:05.000 It itch.
01:56:07.000 You mean when it's growing back?
01:56:08.000 When it's growing back.
01:56:08.000 Yeah, I don't want that.
01:56:10.000 Then you scratch it like you got crabs and...
01:56:13.000 You ever had crabs?
01:56:14.000 No, I haven't.
01:56:16.000 I felt very fortunate.
01:56:18.000 I knew a friend who had it and he got it on his eyebrows.
01:56:20.000 On his eyebrows?
01:56:21.000 Yeah.
01:56:21.000 How did it crawl up there?
01:56:22.000 Well, they went everywhere, but he had them on his eyebrows.
01:56:26.000 I know somebody had them on their eyebrows too.
01:56:28.000 You do?
01:56:29.000 Yeah.
01:56:29.000 Are you serious?
01:56:30.000 He was probably eating pussy and the crabs jumped to his eyebrows. 1.00
01:56:35.000 They just find hair? 0.99
01:56:37.000 They're so small you can barely see them.
01:56:41.000 You'll know they're there because they itch like fleas.
01:56:44.000 This dude had them and he had them in his eyebrows too.
01:56:49.000 And you know you get that shampoo.
01:56:51.000 For the eyebrows?
01:56:52.000 You get the shampoo for down there.
01:56:54.000 Yeah, I guess.
01:56:54.000 I'll tell you what's the most embarrassing moment.
01:56:56.000 I won't say what it was.
01:56:57.000 I had to go pick up some crab medication for a relative one time.
01:57:01.000 I'm married at the time, so it wasn't me.
01:57:03.000 And I go up to this.
01:57:05.000 I was at Green Brow Mall, and I go up to pick up the medication. 1.00
01:57:09.000 And the guy who was working the register, little gay guy, this motherfucker was like... 1.00
01:57:16.000 Well, what you have is crabs. 1.00
01:57:19.000 Would you like for me to tell you how to use the medication? 1.00
01:57:22.000 I said, bitch, if you don't give me that package, I'll kill you. 1.00
01:57:27.000 He said it out loud. 1.00
01:57:29.000 This was probably about 20 years ago.
01:57:31.000 Right there, do you need to know how to use your crab medication, ma'am? 1.00
01:57:34.000 I said, that's not my name.
01:57:36.000 That's not me. 1.00
01:57:37.000 Give me that goddamn medication. 1.00
01:57:38.000 It's shampoo, nigga. 1.00
01:57:39.000 I know how to use this shit. 1.00
01:57:42.000 You know, this is Green Bride Mall. 1.00
01:57:45.000 It's packed.
01:57:47.000 Everybody's sitting there waiting on their medicine.
01:57:49.000 I told everybody, look at that hoe, like, I got crab. 1.00
01:57:51.000 I'm like, I couldn't say it's not me this time.
01:57:54.000 Sorry. 0.99
01:58:02.000 Joe, I just talked to him and went out the fucking door. 1.00
01:58:05.000 I said, this motherfucker just embarrassed me. 1.00
01:58:07.000 He did it on purpose. 1.00
01:58:08.000 Yeah, he did it on purpose.
01:58:09.000 For sure.
01:58:10.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:58:11.000 He should know.
01:58:12.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:13.000 I was like, what the fuck you got? 1.00
01:58:15.000 Look. 1.00
01:58:19.000 Because I was trying to get my husband to go pick up the medication.
01:58:22.000 I'm not going to do that.
01:58:23.000 I'm not going to do that.
01:58:24.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:58:25.000 I'm not going to pick up nobody's STD medication.
01:58:28.000 Venereal diseases are very strange if you think about it because it had to be like an original source.
01:58:32.000 Right.
01:58:36.000 Respiratory viruses and flus and things like that, it kind of makes sense.
01:58:40.000 And a lot of them come from animals, right?
01:58:42.000 Like the swine flu comes from pigs.
01:58:45.000 Avian flu comes from birds.
01:58:46.000 It gets into people.
01:58:47.000 It jumps species and lands on people.
01:58:50.000 And then we get it.
01:58:51.000 It makes sense.
01:58:52.000 But venereal disease, what was the source? 0.99
01:58:56.000 Some woman was trying to keep her husband at home and cook that shit up in the kitchen. 1.00
01:59:01.000 All right, you're going to go out here? 1.00
01:59:02.000 You're going to put claps on this bitch. 1.00
01:59:05.000 She's got a lab coat on trying to figure out VD. What came first? 1.00
01:59:11.000 The chicken or the egg, right?
01:59:12.000 What was the original VD? Who was the first person who got it?
01:59:15.000 Yeah, and how does one develop a venereal disease, right?
01:59:19.000 Where's it coming from?
01:59:22.000 It's a good question, right?
01:59:23.000 Yeah.
01:59:24.000 Because there had to be like a patient zero for like gonorrhea.
01:59:28.000 There had to be like, where's that person getting gonorrhea?
01:59:30.000 How's that happen? 0.99
01:59:31.000 They're probably having sex with monkeys or something. 0.99
01:59:33.000 Maybe. 0.99
01:59:34.000 Well, everything gotta be a monkey.
01:59:35.000 Y'all put everything on a monkey. 1.00
01:59:37.000 God damn. 1.00
01:59:38.000 What about a rhinoceros? 1.00
01:59:40.000 That's the scapegoat.
01:59:41.000 The monkey's the scapegoat.
01:59:43.000 Yeah, every time a disease comes, the monkey gave it to her. 1.00
01:59:46.000 People fuck giraffes, you know, too. 1.00
01:59:57.000 You gotta drug it. 1.00
02:00:03.000 I'm just saying.
02:00:05.000 The monkey did it.
02:00:07.000 The monkey did it.
02:00:08.000 That's true, right?
02:00:09.000 That was the thing with AIDS. They always said that.
02:00:11.000 The monkey did it.
02:00:12.000 Have you ever seen Chappelle's bit about that?
02:00:15.000 I think I did.
02:00:16.000 Oh my God. 1.00
02:00:16.000 He's like, do you know how hard it would be to hold a monkey down and fuck it? 1.00
02:00:27.000 Oh my god, Chappelle's bit on that is fucking brilliant. 1.00
02:00:30.000 Oh yeah, I'm right. 0.96
02:00:31.000 It's so funny. 0.99
02:00:33.000 She may look clean, but pick up good time girls, prostitutes, spread syphilis and gonorrhea. 1.00
02:00:40.000 What is this from the 50s? 0.69
02:00:42.000 Wow.
02:00:43.000 It looks like the wartime.
02:00:44.000 You can't beat the Axis if you get VD. Oh wow, so that is World War II. Yeah, the first thing it said on Wikipedia is 1494. It was the first VV? Yeah, a syphilis outbreak in Europe. 0.51
02:00:56.000 Oh, I can give you guys some information.
02:00:57.000 How about this?
02:00:58.000 You know that expression, bigwigs, when you call someone a bigwig? 0.86
02:01:01.000 Do you know what that came from?
02:01:02.000 It came from a group that was in France, and I think it was in the 1400s too, there was a, was it a prince or a nobleman?
02:01:14.000 They're two brothers, and they got syphilis.
02:01:17.000 And when they got syphilis, the hair started falling off. 0.99
02:01:19.000 Everybody had syphilis back then, but they didn't know what the fuck syphilis was. 0.98
02:01:22.000 And when you get syphilis, your hair falls off. 0.99
02:01:24.000 So what these guys did was they got wigs.
02:01:26.000 And the more money you had, the bigger the wig you got. 0.99
02:01:29.000 And so they got these big fucking crazy wigs. 1.00
02:01:31.000 And they would wear these wigs. 1.00
02:01:33.000 With syphilis.
02:01:34.000 Yeah, that's why they call them big wigs. 1.00
02:01:36.000 Like, have you ever looked at, like, men from these ancient times where they had these big crazy wigs?
02:01:41.000 That's why they had those wigs. 1.00
02:01:42.000 That's what that came from?
02:01:42.000 Came from syphilis.
02:01:43.000 They were all losing their hair.
02:01:45.000 Not only losing their hair, they lost their teeth, they'd get holes in their face. 1.00
02:01:48.000 Wild shit. 1.00
02:01:49.000 That's probably why George Washington had wooden teeth. 1.00
02:01:52.000 Maybe. 0.98
02:01:53.000 Yeah, they didn't have any fucking hygiene back then, too, though. 0.99
02:01:55.000 But they all wore those crazy wooden wigs. 0.98
02:01:58.000 So if you see, like in the old days, I think they still have powdered wigs in some courts in England.
02:02:06.000 So all those guys with those wigs, that was all because of syphilis. 0.60
02:02:11.000 Look at that thing on his cheek.
02:02:13.000 That's a hole. 0.88
02:02:14.000 That's a syphilis hole in his cheek. 0.99
02:02:16.000 So they would have, literally, their fucking skin would be rotting out. 0.99
02:02:19.000 Are you serious? 1.00
02:02:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00
02:02:21.000 And so these, see, like, that was, uh, there's all these, that was, uh, like, a guy who had syphilis on his head.
02:02:27.000 Look at that. 0.99
02:02:28.000 Like, literally, his fucking head is rotting. 1.00
02:02:30.000 He's got holes in his head. 1.00
02:02:32.000 What the fuck? 1.00
02:02:33.000 Yeah, their noses would fall off. 1.00
02:02:35.000 Syphilis was wild.
02:02:37.000 And they didn't know what it was, right? 1.00
02:02:38.000 So they had no idea what was happening while their fucking cheeks were falling off. 0.99
02:02:43.000 And you could look inside their face and see their teeth. 1.00
02:02:46.000 Look at that lady. 1.00
02:02:47.000 Her nose fell off.
02:02:50.000 How did they name it syphilis?
02:02:52.000 Was that from somebody?
02:02:53.000 It's a good question.
02:02:54.000 I don't know.
02:02:55.000 Who are the brothers?
02:02:56.000 Who are those brothers?
02:02:57.000 Yes.
02:02:58.000 That article you just had, it had those guys in it.
02:03:00.000 I know, but it didn't say.
02:03:01.000 Oh, it didn't say?
02:03:01.000 It just talked about Louis XVI, XVII, XVII. Wow.
02:03:05.000 It was so many of those people back then. 1.00
02:03:07.000 There were wild people back then, just fucking... 1.00
02:03:10.000 There was no condoms, right? 0.99
02:03:11.000 And they all would give each other diseases, and they didn't even know what it was.
02:03:16.000 They didn't even know what diseases were.
02:03:17.000 Like, back then, they had... 0.99
02:03:18.000 Like, if the plague came, they thought it was like ghosts and shit. 0.99
02:03:21.000 They didn't know what the fuck was going on. 0.99
02:03:23.000 They didn't know what was the cause of it, because they hadn't really isolated bacteria and viruses. 0.98
02:03:27.000 They didn't really know.
02:03:28.000 So when they got syphilis, they had no idea what was happening to them.
02:03:32.000 So these dudes got wigs. 1.00
02:03:33.000 And the bigger the wig, the more rich you were because you could afford some crazy ass wig. 1.00
02:03:38.000 So they were all going bald and all fucked up and going crazy. 1.00
02:03:41.000 Hair's falling off. 0.99
02:03:42.000 Yeah, hair's falling off, everything. 0.88
02:03:44.000 Big holes in your face. 1.00
02:03:45.000 It's wild shit. 1.00
02:03:48.000 Don't call me no big wig. 1.00
02:03:50.000 Yeah, that's the origin of the term big wig. 0.75
02:03:53.000 But if you still, I think in certain courts to this day in England, they still wear those powdered wigs.
02:03:59.000 Just for tradition.
02:04:00.000 Yeah, the tradition started because of syphilis.
02:04:04.000 Wow.
02:04:05.000 Wow.
02:04:06.000 Now don't think that's why I got on a wig, okay?
02:04:08.000 That's not what I'm thinking.
02:04:09.000 Okay.
02:04:11.000 I ain't got no holes in my head.
02:04:13.000 But today they just have penicillin.
02:04:14.000 They give you a shot of penicillin and it goes away.
02:04:16.000 Yeah. 0.83
02:04:16.000 I just got on that because I don't want to be fucking with my real hair because it draw up in the heat. 0.83
02:04:20.000 I ain't got... 0.88
02:04:20.000 Hey, my wig ain't big. 0.88
02:04:22.000 I understand.
02:04:23.000 Okay.
02:04:23.000 I understand.
02:04:24.000 No worries.
02:04:25.000 Hey, don't get confused. 1.00
02:04:26.000 Don't think all the black women out here are big wigs and shit. 1.00
02:04:29.000 It was white people back then. 1.00
02:04:31.000 Look at all those people in France. 0.53
02:04:33.000 If only they had a bus to come pick them up and take them to the syphilis center. 1.00
02:04:39.000 I wonder who was the first person to figure out how to fix that.
02:04:43.000 What's that?
02:04:45.000 I looked up why they're still wearing it.
02:04:47.000 This is the reason they say on How Stuff Works.
02:04:50.000 Many uniforms, wigs are an emblem of anonymity, an attempt to distance the wear from personal involvement and a way to visually draw on the supremacy of law, says Newton.
02:05:02.000 Wigs are so much a part of British criminal courts that if a banister does not wear a wig, it is seen as an insult to the court.
02:05:09.000 Yeah, whatever.
02:05:11.000 I guarantee it started out with syphilis.
02:05:14.000 Why else would men wear wigs?
02:05:16.000 So they just got these wigs sent by the courthouse door you pick up one and put it on your head when you walk in?
02:05:20.000 I think you probably have your own.
02:05:22.000 You probably wear your own wig.
02:05:24.000 You take it home?
02:05:25.000 Yeah, you probably have your own, like special wig that you wear when you go to court.
02:05:28.000 And it's not like a lace frown.
02:05:29.000 It's not like nice.
02:05:30.000 It looks like they just plop it on.
02:05:32.000 Yeah, like your regular hair sticking out underneath it. 0.99
02:05:34.000 Yeah, it looks dumb. 0.99
02:05:35.000 It's like a hat. 0.98
02:05:36.000 Yeah, but England's got a lot of wacky things.
02:05:38.000 Like, they still have a queen over there. 0.69
02:05:40.000 For whatever reason.
02:05:41.000 No, I heard somebody have a conversation.
02:05:44.000 They were like, they feel like that a lot of British people are unattractive.
02:05:47.000 And then they were saying that that's because way back in European history, people used to inbreed.
02:05:53.000 For sure, the royals.
02:05:55.000 That's wild.
02:05:55.000 For sure.
02:05:56.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:05:57.000 There's a lot of images, like paintings of royal families from France and all over Europe where you see the eyes a little too close together, look a little wacky. 0.98
02:06:06.000 Because they all fucked each other's cousins. 1.00
02:06:08.000 Because you had to only use royal blood, right? 1.00
02:06:12.000 Yeah, I had no idea. 1.00
02:06:13.000 Yeah, so if you had a cousin, you had to fuck your cousin. 1.00
02:06:17.000 Because you weren't allowed to fuck a commoner. 1.00
02:06:20.000 Wild shit. 1.00
02:06:21.000 I think that wasn't that long ago that people did that, that they believed in royal blood. 0.99
02:06:27.000 Like, see if you can find some pictures of inbred...
02:06:28.000 Royal blood.
02:06:29.000 There's a lot of pictures, like, paintings of inbred royals.
02:06:33.000 Wow.
02:06:33.000 And they just look...
02:06:34.000 They just look off.
02:06:37.000 I have a friend who has a... 1.00
02:06:39.000 She has a chocolate lab, and this dog's all fucked up. 0.99
02:06:42.000 She got it from a puppy mill, and this dog's eyes are just way too close. 0.99
02:06:46.000 I was just talking to somebody the other day about cross-eyed dogs.
02:06:49.000 Well, this dog is not cross-eyed.
02:06:51.000 They're just too narrow.
02:06:53.000 Yeah, so see, look at that guy.
02:06:55.000 Oh, wow.
02:06:55.000 100%.
02:06:56.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
02:06:58.000 He looked like who?
02:07:01.000 Centuries of inbreeding among European royals caused the deformity known as Hasberg jaw.
02:07:08.000 So they developed some crazy-looking jaw. 1.00
02:07:11.000 And it's just from centuries of fucking your family. 1.00
02:07:14.000 Wow. 1.00
02:07:16.000 Wild.
02:07:17.000 Wild.
02:07:17.000 Look at that.
02:07:18.000 That is weird.
02:07:19.000 I would have to stop my cousin and I don't like it.
02:07:21.000 Do you see what we look like?
02:07:22.000 Do you really want to make another one? 1.00
02:07:26.000 You don't want to do this shit. 1.00
02:07:29.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
02:07:30.000 I know.
02:07:31.000 I mean, like, how does that ever get filtered out? 0.99
02:07:33.000 Like, you got to think, like, how much of that inbreeding shit, like, ruined generation after generation after generation. 0.99
02:07:41.000 Look at him right there with the wig on. 0.99
02:07:43.000 Yeah.
02:07:43.000 Looking like Michael Jax.
02:07:44.000 I mean, um...
02:07:46.000 Hasberg jaw.
02:07:47.000 Why inbred monarchs didn't measure up as rulers? 0.86
02:07:51.000 Well, probably because they're mentally challenged, right? 1.00
02:07:54.000 I mean, if it fucks your face up like that, what's it doing to your brain? 0.98
02:07:57.000 I know some regular people who look like that now. 0.99
02:07:59.000 Not that crazy.
02:08:01.000 Like, I'm talking about the nose and how narrow the face is?
02:08:05.000 Maybe, but I bet also, like, they're probably being nice when they're painting this, too.
02:08:09.000 They probably are.
02:08:10.000 You're probably right. 0.99
02:08:10.000 Because they would probably kill them if they made them look ugly. 0.99
02:08:13.000 Right. 0.97
02:08:13.000 If they made them look like what they really looked like? 0.97
02:08:15.000 You think they look worse?
02:08:16.000 I think they look worse.
02:08:17.000 Probably.
02:08:17.000 Yeah, because they're royals.
02:08:19.000 Probably.
02:08:20.000 So where are they now?
02:08:20.000 They probably don't even know what they look like.
02:08:21.000 Well, they died off, I'm sure.
02:08:24.000 Those jeans have died off, for sure. 0.97
02:08:26.000 I know some long chin bitches like that. 1.00
02:08:31.000 That shit ain't dead. 1.00
02:08:33.000 Well, there's long faces, but that's a particularly deformed face, you know? 1.00
02:08:39.000 The whole idea of Royals is crazy shit. 0.99
02:08:42.000 But what's really crazy is that, you know, I had this lady on recently, last week actually, who escaped North Korea. 1.00
02:08:51.000 And it is a fucking wild podcast. 0.97
02:08:54.000 She escaped North Korea when she was 13. She was a sex slave in China. 1.00
02:08:59.000 And then she escaped from China and made it to South Korea and then made it to America. 1.00
02:09:04.000 It's a crazy fucking podcast. 0.99
02:09:06.000 But this is... 0.99
02:09:07.000 What's crazy is there are royals right now.
02:09:11.000 There's dictators right now in certain parts of the world.
02:09:13.000 And that's happening right now in North Korea.
02:09:16.000 But that was how people lived throughout most of history.
02:09:20.000 Most countries were dictatorships.
02:09:25.000 Even, like, when people talk about Greece, like Greece was a democracy, sure, for a little while, then it eventually became a dictatorship. 0.99
02:09:31.000 And even when it was a democracy, they had slaves, they killed each other for, you know, random fucking reasons. 0.99
02:09:40.000 The Romans did the same shit and that eventually became a dictatorship as well, like every fucking civilization. 0.99
02:09:46.000 Up until the United States in 1776 had devolved into a dictatorship. 0.99
02:09:51.000 That's why people are so worried about this country and the direction it's going.
02:09:54.000 Because they're like, look, this could become a dictatorship too.
02:09:58.000 Yeah.
02:09:58.000 That's why they scared of masks and fighting on planes.
02:10:02.000 People are just worked up.
02:10:04.000 They're scared of masks and fighting on planes.
02:10:06.000 The country is just...
02:10:08.000 So many people have been out of work for over a year or lost their jobs or lost family members or also just scared.
02:10:17.000 So many people are just scared. 0.99
02:10:19.000 And they get back outside and they don't know how to fucking act. 0.98
02:10:22.000 I gotta tell you this. 0.98
02:10:23.000 We was at...
02:10:23.000 I was in Miami.
02:10:25.000 You didn't go to Miami.
02:10:26.000 No.
02:10:26.000 So I'm in Miami and I'm just, you know, because I flew during the pandemic and worked a lot.
02:10:31.000 And so I'm at the Miami airport and shit's starting to open back up and I see this man. 0.75
02:10:37.000 I was like, I just want to tell you hello. 0.96
02:10:38.000 And he looked at me and he was like, I said, you don't know me. 0.99
02:10:42.000 I said, look, I'm so happy this fucking pandemic is ending. 0.99
02:10:45.000 I don't know what to do. 1.00
02:10:46.000 I just want to hug every fucking body. 1.00
02:10:48.000 And this white dude said, right on to your tribe, sister. 1.00
02:10:52.000 I said, I can't even fucking call him racist. 0.99
02:10:58.000 I'm so happy to hear him. 0.99
02:11:01.000 Florida's a different race in and of itself. 0.99
02:11:04.000 What the fuck make you think I'm from a tribe, sir? 0.99
02:11:09.000 Why don't you tribe? 0.99
02:11:10.000 Me and my friend Kwishi was out there.
02:11:13.000 I said, he just thought I had a tribe.
02:11:17.000 He said, we with your tribe.
02:11:19.000 I said, All righty.
02:11:21.000 You know what I'm talking about? 1.00
02:11:22.000 You racist son of a bitch. 1.00
02:11:24.000 But I was so happy to see people. 1.00
02:11:27.000 I said, fuck it. 0.99
02:11:28.000 I'm going to go and get my runner call. 1.00
02:11:30.000 I couldn't say anything.
02:11:31.000 Florida opened up earlier than any place, right?
02:11:34.000 Yeah, they did.
02:11:34.000 Did they ever close?
02:11:35.000 Sort of, for like a little while, and then the governor got on TV and made some actual valid points that you should be able to take your own risks and we should protect the older people, the people that are the most at risk, and vaccinate them as quickly as we can, and before that, protect them from exposure and everybody else. 0.97
02:11:52.000 Just do whatever the fuck you want to do. 0.94
02:11:54.000 He believes in freedom. 0.99
02:11:55.000 It's weird watching so many people move to Florida. 0.99
02:11:58.000 Florida was always a fucked up place that no one wanted to live. 0.97
02:12:01.000 Unless you were running from somebody that you got divorced from in New York, nobody wanted to live in Florida. 1.00
02:12:07.000 I don't want to live in Florida.
02:12:08.000 I just like Disney.
02:12:10.000 Disney's awesome.
02:12:11.000 Florida's not a bad place to live though. 0.97
02:12:13.000 It's too fucking hot. 0.98
02:12:14.000 It gets hot. 1.00
02:12:15.000 And they alligator walk around like motherfucking drug dealers. 1.00
02:12:18.000 That's an issue. 1.00
02:12:18.000 I can't. 1.00
02:12:19.000 Fuck with them alligators. 1.00
02:12:21.000 Alligator killed a baby at Disney World. 1.00
02:12:23.000 Yeah.
02:12:24.000 Oh yeah, in the pond.
02:12:25.000 I remember that.
02:12:25.000 Yeah, we was not far from that resort.
02:12:28.000 But it was kind of, it's just, I mean, alligators and those little, what's those little damn... 0.96
02:12:34.000 Iguanas. 0.96
02:12:34.000 They just walk up the wall. 0.96
02:12:36.000 Ain't nobody screaming.
02:12:36.000 They're not even little.
02:12:38.000 They're big.
02:12:38.000 They get to be like five feet long.
02:12:40.000 Really?
02:12:40.000 Yeah, they hunt them now.
02:12:42.000 There's all these videos on YouTube of people hunting iguanas and eating them, cooking them and eating them. 0.98
02:12:47.000 Oh my god, I was like, I can deal with roaches, but I can't deal with no fucking iguanas. 0.78
02:12:53.000 Worse than this, when it gets cold out, they freeze, because they're a tropical animal, and sometimes Florida gets 30 degrees, so when it gets 30 degrees, they die. 0.97
02:13:01.000 So they're hanging on trees, they die, and they knock people out, because they fall, frozen, and land on people's heads. 0.98
02:13:07.000 So these old people are walking around Florida, and a fucking falling iguana cracks them on the top of the head. 1.00
02:13:14.000 I like how you imitate shit. 1.00
02:13:17.000 That family need old people. 1.00
02:13:20.000 Can you imagine that's how you go, I've had a nice life. 1.00
02:13:23.000 You get KO'd by a fucking iguana. 1.00
02:13:25.000 That's what takes you out. 1.00
02:13:27.000 Wow.
02:13:28.000 Before COVID. And the iguanas, just like the reptiles that they have, all the shit that's in the swamps, like all the pythons and everything, it's all just people's pets. 0.99
02:13:38.000 That's Florida people. 0.98
02:13:39.000 They're so wild. 1.00
02:13:40.000 They just had like pythons and shit and they're like, I'll throw it in the fucking swamp. 1.00
02:13:43.000 No one will know. 1.00
02:13:44.000 Meanwhile, now there's more pythons in the swamp than anything.
02:13:47.000 They've killed all the mammals.
02:13:49.000 There's like almost no mammals in the Everglades.
02:13:51.000 They killed all the raccoons, all the marsh hares, all the deer.
02:13:55.000 They did a survey recently of the Everglades where they were trying to find all these various mammals and they said that they've been decimated down by a minimum of 90%.
02:14:06.000 So 90% of...
02:14:08.000 I think that was the number.
02:14:09.000 See if you can find that.
02:14:10.000 Like, what percentage of mammals are missing in the Everglades because of the pythons?
02:14:15.000 It's gotten so bad that pythons are eating alligators.
02:14:18.000 What? 0.99
02:14:19.000 There's a fucking picture of a giant python that died trying to eat a 12-foot alligator. 1.00
02:14:26.000 I think I've seen that. 1.00
02:14:27.000 So the alligator is breaking out of its body because it's swallowing this thing whole and this alligator is like, fuck you. 1.00
02:14:36.000 See, alligators can hold their breath for fucking days. 1.00
02:14:39.000 Like, they could be underwater for hours. 1.00
02:14:41.000 And so the alligator just walked up out his ass? 0.99
02:14:43.000 Well, he's, like, fighting through, and he bursts through the thing's side, so they're both dead. 0.99
02:14:48.000 They're both dead trapped in this water.
02:14:50.000 Here, look at this.
02:14:53.000 Yeah, 99. Okay, I downplayed it.
02:14:56.000 PNS Journal scientists report that observations of some mammal species have declined by more than 99%.
02:15:02.000 So a lot of them are just completely gone.
02:15:04.000 Look at how big that python is.
02:15:06.000 And all of those things started out as someone's pets.
02:15:10.000 It's really wild.
02:15:11.000 There's so many of them. 1.00
02:15:12.000 And here's how fucking stupid California is. 1.00
02:15:14.000 You're not allowed to buy Python goods, like a Python purse or Python shoes. 1.00
02:15:20.000 It's illegal.
02:15:21.000 They're exotics.
02:15:21.000 We're protecting them.
02:15:24.000 Meanwhile, they're everywhere!
02:15:25.000 They all go to Florida! 1.00
02:15:27.000 And they're eating babies and all kind of shit. 1.00
02:15:29.000 Oh, pythons will eat everything. 1.00
02:15:30.000 Yeah, they'll eat everything they can.
02:15:31.000 They'll eat babies for sure. 1.00
02:15:32.000 But see if you can get that picture of the one that ate the alligator.
02:15:35.000 Because it's crazy.
02:15:36.000 When you see how big the alligator is and how big the python is.
02:15:39.000 And they just both die.
02:15:40.000 Yeah, it's a battle of the monsters.
02:15:42.000 Battle of the monsters. 1.00
02:15:44.000 Heartless, cold-blooded fucking monsters. 1.00
02:15:46.000 I can't watch Discovery Channel. 1.00
02:15:47.000 Oh, I watch it all the time.
02:15:48.000 Oh my god, it makes me cry.
02:15:50.000 When I see an alligator, just grab a baby deer.
02:15:52.000 I be like, don't eat him!
02:15:54.000 It hurts my feelings. 0.60
02:15:56.000 They're ruthless animals. 1.00
02:15:57.000 All of them, them fucking coyotes. 1.00
02:15:59.000 Look at that. 1.00
02:16:00.000 So that's a little one.
02:16:01.000 That's no big deal.
02:16:02.000 That's small.
02:16:03.000 But there's a photo of, see, Google photo alligator.
02:16:08.000 There it is.
02:16:08.000 That's the one.
02:16:09.000 The one, the right-hand corner. 0.99
02:16:10.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99
02:16:11.000 That one right there. 1.00
02:16:11.000 See that one? 1.00
02:16:12.000 See how it's bursting out of its side?
02:16:14.000 Right.
02:16:14.000 Yeah, so that is a python that died trying to eat an alligator.
02:16:18.000 And the alligator, like, fought its way through the python's body. 0.99
02:16:21.000 Did he get out?
02:16:22.000 Nope.
02:16:23.000 Didn't make it.
02:16:23.000 Died.
02:16:24.000 They both died. 1.00
02:16:25.000 So they found these two dead like this, but look how big that fucking python is. 1.00
02:16:32.000 Crazy. 1.00
02:16:34.000 Wow.
02:16:34.000 In the Everglades.
02:16:35.000 That's crazy.
02:16:36.000 The Everglades is just monster soup.
02:16:38.000 That's all it is.
02:16:39.000 It's just monster soup out there.
02:16:41.000 Who go out there? 1.00
02:16:43.000 Crazy white people with those fan boats. 1.00
02:16:46.000 Yeah, they got a show like that, don't they? 1.00
02:16:48.000 Oh yeah, yeah, Swamp People.
02:16:49.000 Yeah, Swamp People.
02:16:50.000 That's a great show. 1.00
02:16:50.000 My husband loves watching that bullshit. 1.00
02:16:54.000 First of all, I speak Ebonics. 1.00
02:16:57.000 You can hardly understand the fuck I'm saying. 0.99
02:16:59.000 Then you get them Swamp People like, what the fuck are they saying? 1.00
02:17:02.000 Those Louisiana people that live in the swamp and hunt alligators. 1.00
02:17:06.000 They have a whole Cajun sort of lingo. 0.99
02:17:10.000 I'm not going to eat no alligator dick. 1.00
02:17:11.000 I don't understand what fucking word they say. 1.00
02:17:12.000 They have to give them subtitles. 0.99
02:17:13.000 Yeah.
02:17:14.000 You wouldn't eat alligator? 0.87
02:17:15.000 Dick. 0.98
02:17:15.000 Dick. 0.98
02:17:16.000 Okay, I understand that.
02:17:17.000 That's reasonable.
02:17:18.000 No, I wouldn't eat no alligator either.
02:17:20.000 I'd eat alligator.
02:17:21.000 I don't eat no frogs.
02:17:22.000 I've had alligator at a restaurant before in Florida, but it was like frozen alligator.
02:17:26.000 It's like if you eat it like chilies.
02:17:29.000 It's like that caliber of food.
02:17:31.000 But apparently, everybody that I know that has actually hunted alligators, I know a lot of dudes that hunt alligators, And when you eat it, if you eat it fresh, it is delicious.
02:17:40.000 Alligators apparently taste very good.
02:17:42.000 Yeah, there's all videos on YouTube on how to butcher alligators, and they show them, like, taking it apart and what the best cuts of meat are.
02:17:50.000 Actually, we had alligator at the Grove one time.
02:17:53.000 No, you had alligator.
02:17:54.000 And it was fried.
02:17:55.000 It was fried.
02:17:56.000 It was chewy.
02:17:56.000 You didn't like it.
02:17:57.000 It was chewy.
02:17:58.000 The Grove in LA? Yeah.
02:17:59.000 They got a Cajun spot in there and it was chewy.
02:18:02.000 I didn't like it.
02:18:03.000 See, the thing is, if you're going to get it from the Grove in LA, you're going to get it frozen.
02:18:08.000 Apparently, the way to get it is fresh.
02:18:10.000 So it's like you buy fish at the supermarket, you're getting fresh fish, right?
02:18:15.000 Especially if you're near the coast.
02:18:16.000 Well, if you buy alligator in Florida, if you get fresh alligator, or if you hunt an alligator yourself, apparently it's delicious.
02:18:23.000 Really?
02:18:24.000 Nah.
02:18:25.000 Nah.
02:18:25.000 I can't.
02:18:26.000 But you like catfish?
02:18:29.000 Catfish is delicious.
02:18:30.000 I don't like catfish.
02:18:31.000 You don't?
02:18:32.000 Really?
02:18:32.000 But it's battered right and fried nice.
02:18:36.000 No, no.
02:18:37.000 They eat everything.
02:18:38.000 They do eat everything, but so do lobsters, and they're delicious.
02:18:41.000 Yeah, I like lobsters. 1.00
02:18:42.000 Lobsters just eat dead shit. 1.00
02:18:43.000 They're bugs. 1.00
02:18:44.000 They're just bugs that eat dead shit. 1.00
02:18:46.000 But God, they're good. 1.00
02:18:47.000 That's so good.
02:18:48.000 Cafe's so...
02:18:49.000 It's grainy to me.
02:18:51.000 Really?
02:18:51.000 Grainy?
02:18:52.000 I mean, I don't know if grainy is the word.
02:18:54.000 It's got a...
02:18:55.000 Grittiness?
02:18:57.000 Grittiness to it.
02:18:58.000 Taste to it.
02:18:59.000 Maybe it's just how it's prepared.
02:19:00.000 Maybe who's preparing it.
02:19:02.000 Maybe they didn't do a good job.
02:19:03.000 You gonna talk about me like that?
02:19:05.000 No, it's like how you prepare it.
02:19:07.000 Did you catch it yourself?
02:19:09.000 No.
02:19:10.000 Okay.
02:19:11.000 But if you catch it yourself, then you know how it was cleaned and how you gutted it and cut it.
02:19:17.000 And a lot of times people will soak them in milk.
02:19:19.000 That's one of the things they do with catfish. 1.00
02:19:21.000 Apparently it enhances the flavor.
02:19:23.000 For how long?
02:19:24.000 I don't know.
02:19:25.000 Different times.
02:19:26.000 There's all sorts of recipes online.
02:19:28.000 I've seen people doing that.
02:19:29.000 I've never heard of that.
02:19:30.000 I'm going to do that.
02:19:30.000 Yeah.
02:19:31.000 Because where I live now in Austin, there's quite a few catfish here.
02:19:34.000 I would like to catch some and eat them.
02:19:36.000 Well, call me next time you cook it.
02:19:38.000 I will.
02:19:38.000 I will.
02:19:39.000 I love watching your videos.
02:19:40.000 I love to cook. 0.99
02:19:41.000 I'm like, this motherfucker has the nicest meat. 0.99
02:19:43.000 That's that dark red elk. 1.00
02:19:45.000 That's what that is.
02:19:46.000 That's that best meat. 0.99
02:19:47.000 You like the grill, don't you?
02:19:48.000 I love it. 1.00
02:19:49.000 It's caveman shit. 1.00
02:19:51.000 Yeah, I like being over fire. 1.00
02:19:52.000 Fire and meat. 1.00
02:19:53.000 That's caveman shit. 1.00
02:19:54.000 In the woods. 1.00
02:19:55.000 Yes.
02:19:55.000 Remember that time I told you to take me hunting with you?
02:19:57.000 You thought I was too slow.
02:19:58.000 I'd get killed by a bear.
02:19:59.000 Well, you'd have to have a scooter.
02:20:02.000 I can't take a scooter to the woods.
02:20:03.000 You'll scare all the animals off. 0.99
02:20:06.000 I'll be like, get the fuck out. 1.00
02:20:08.000 Joe got a pistol. 1.00
02:20:09.000 Joe here to kill y'all. 1.00
02:20:11.000 Get the fuck out and deal. 1.00
02:20:12.000 Don't you stand around. 1.00
02:20:14.000 He trying to kill y'all. 0.61
02:20:16.000 Would you really want to hunt?
02:20:18.000 I've never been to the woods.
02:20:20.000 I went to a summer camp one time.
02:20:23.000 And we stayed in those little things that didn't have does on it, like it just had a top on it.
02:20:29.000 And it was deep down in Georgia. 0.99
02:20:31.000 Mosquitoes ate my ass up. 1.00
02:20:32.000 And I was like, I don't understand why people, what do they get off in these fucking woods? 1.00
02:20:37.000 All these fucking spiders that you're not familiar with, just outdoor-y. 0.99
02:20:42.000 I don't know. 0.99
02:20:43.000 I just like being in the wild.
02:20:47.000 If you wouldn't let me get killed, I would go halfway in the woods with you.
02:20:50.000 The problem is, like, you gotta go pretty deep in there to go where the animals are.
02:20:56.000 Like, on a normal day of, like, hunting, we'll hike 10, 11 miles in the mountains.
02:21:01.000 Yeah, it's normal.
02:21:03.000 And so what do you do when a bear come up, Joe?
02:21:06.000 Well, it's not good.
02:21:08.000 It's not good.
02:21:09.000 Most of the places I hunt don't have grizzlies.
02:21:11.000 If I did hunt in a place with grizzlies, I would definitely, because I hunt with a bow, but I would definitely bring a pistol as well.
02:21:18.000 If I'm around grizzlies.
02:21:20.000 Yeah, because I'm like, didn't you see the bear man?
02:21:21.000 He got ate up.
02:21:22.000 His girlfriend got ate up.
02:21:23.000 Grizzly man?
02:21:23.000 Yeah.
02:21:24.000 Did you watch that documentary?
02:21:26.000 No, yeah.
02:21:26.000 My husband watched that.
02:21:28.000 That's an unintentional comedy.
02:21:29.000 That's what that is.
02:21:30.000 All they found was his spine.
02:21:32.000 They didn't find much.
02:21:33.000 Yeah, they didn't find much.
02:21:35.000 I didn't even know bears eat you all the way. 0.99
02:21:37.000 Oh, bears will eat the fuck out of you. 1.00
02:21:38.000 Yeah, yeah, bears eat people. 0.99
02:21:40.000 Can you see me talking to them?
02:21:41.000 Hey, bear, I didn't take a bath today.
02:21:43.000 This ain't what you want. 1.00
02:21:44.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00
02:21:44.000 Bear just killed a lady in Montana just a few days ago. 1.00
02:21:48.000 Yeah, a lady was a cyclist. 1.00
02:21:50.000 She had parked somewhere to camp out and pulled her right out of her tent.
02:21:54.000 Pulled her out of the tent? 0.95
02:21:56.000 Yeah, tore the tent apart, pulled her out, killed her. 1.00
02:21:59.000 She didn't have no fucking gun? 1.00
02:22:01.000 No. 0.99
02:22:02.000 She was like, I'm just like out here in nature.
02:22:04.000 She's like a cyclist. 1.00
02:22:06.000 You know, a lot of those people are, those cyclists are, you know, they just love hiking and, you know, outdoors type shit. 0.98
02:22:12.000 And they probably think they're going to be okay because most of the time you're okay. 0.99
02:22:15.000 Did he eat her?
02:22:16.000 It's very rare.
02:22:17.000 Yeah, it started eating her.
02:22:18.000 Yeah.
02:22:19.000 Somebody ran him off?
02:22:20.000 I think they eventually found it and killed it.
02:22:22.000 Yeah.
02:22:24.000 How do you know that was the bear?
02:22:26.000 How do you know he ain't going to kill the wrong bear?
02:22:28.000 You didn't get a bear time to say he ain't having nothing to do with it? 0.85
02:22:30.000 Well, once they kill the bear, then they can do an assessment.
02:22:34.000 But what if a titty went in his throat?
02:22:38.000 The way they find out is the bear usually is protecting the body because the body's his.
02:22:44.000 Really?
02:22:44.000 Yeah.
02:22:45.000 So if a bear kills you- So he hanging out with her?
02:22:47.000 They usually bury you.
02:22:48.000 They bury half of you.
02:22:49.000 They eat what they want to eat off of you and then they start covering you with dirt.
02:22:53.000 And then if you go near the body, then they rush you.
02:22:56.000 And I think that's what they did with her.
02:22:58.000 I think they tried to come near the body and the bear was protecting the body, which meant that it was his kill.
02:23:06.000 Oh.
02:23:07.000 I know a guy who was a wildlife photographer.
02:23:09.000 I read about a guy who was a wildlife photographer.
02:23:13.000 And he was killed by a bear.
02:23:15.000 I think that was in Montana as well pretty recently because he had found a dead moose that this bear had killed.
02:23:23.000 And he was trying to get close to where the moose was to take photos of the bear.
02:23:29.000 And then the bear thought he was trying to steal the moose and killed him.
02:23:33.000 So now both of them are buried together and now he's protecting both of them so he's gonna eat them later.
02:23:37.000 Well this guy was like famous for wildlife photography unfortunately so he'd take these like really close-up pictures of bears like and he just got he just rolled the dice too many times because they're just you know they're a 2,000 pound wild dog that's what it's like. 0.97
02:23:53.000 I mean they're fucking huge. 0.95
02:23:54.000 They're so big. 1.00
02:23:56.000 And the make yourself bigger shit don't work. 1.00
02:23:58.000 The grizzly? 1.00
02:24:00.000 Oh, a grizzly? 1.00
02:24:01.000 No, you gotta shoot him. 1.00
02:24:02.000 What do you mean make yourself bigger? 1.00
02:24:03.000 Yeah.
02:24:03.000 They always say, like, if you come across a bear, make yourself bigger than a bear.
02:24:05.000 I think that's mountain lions, they say that.
02:24:07.000 Oh, it's a lion?
02:24:08.000 Yeah.
02:24:08.000 So how are you gonna make yourself bigger?
02:24:09.000 A bear does not...
02:24:09.000 I guess you're just like...
02:24:10.000 There's not a way you can make yourself big enough to scare a bear.
02:24:13.000 I know.
02:24:14.000 They tall? 1.00
02:24:16.000 They slap shit at you? 1.00
02:24:17.000 The only time bears are scared is if they live in a place where people hunt them. 1.00
02:24:20.000 And that's like Alaska.
02:24:22.000 In Alaska, sometimes bears will run off from people because they've had experiences with people or they've seen people shoot guns and kill bears near them.
02:24:30.000 They'll be scared of humans.
02:24:32.000 But everywhere else where people don't hunt humans, which is most of the United States, the only place in the United States you can hunt grizzly bears is in Alaska.
02:24:40.000 But those are the people that have the most experience with them because they're dealing with them all the time.
02:24:45.000 They want to cut the population down.
02:24:48.000 But places like Yellowstone and where all the grizzlies are in Montana and Wyoming, you can't hunt them.
02:24:55.000 Some lady just got in trouble for taking a picture at Yellowstone close up with the bear. 1.00
02:24:59.000 So stupid. 1.00
02:25:00.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:25:01.000 And he ran her off to the bear. 0.77
02:25:03.000 I think his kids was up there and he kind of chased her.
02:25:05.000 And she walked off and she got in trouble for that. 1.00
02:25:08.000 Well, it definitely wasn't his kids because he'll eat his kids. 0.52
02:25:10.000 It's a female. 0.98
02:25:11.000 The females run them off. 1.00
02:25:13.000 Well, her. 0.77
02:25:13.000 I call everybody his. 0.77
02:25:14.000 Because the females, they have to protect their kids from the males. 1.00
02:25:18.000 Because the males, they actively target babies.
02:25:20.000 Like when they come out of the womb or the den, rather, like when they hibernate all winter, One of the first things they try to do is find babies.
02:25:27.000 They're sleeping.
02:25:28.000 Even if it's there. 0.99
02:25:29.000 They don't give a fuck. 0.99
02:25:31.000 You mean to tell me that's how much they don't want to pay child support? 0.99
02:25:36.000 Yeah!
02:25:41.000 That's how you get out of child's wood. 1.00
02:25:43.000 You eat your fucking bagels. 1.00
02:25:45.000 Nature's just so ruthless. 1.00
02:25:47.000 Oh, I know.
02:25:48.000 That's why I don't go out there, Joe.
02:25:49.000 If you're going to go halfway in the woods and we're going to set up a campfire with some marshmallows and a little chocolate.
02:25:55.000 That's nice.
02:25:56.000 I'd do that with you and flat off the mosquitoes and tell some spooky stories. 1.00
02:26:00.000 Yeah, I could do that shit. 0.99
02:26:02.000 But if you're going with a pilster and a bow and arrow, I ain't going to be able to help you. 0.99
02:26:06.000 Yeah, well, it's not for everybody.
02:26:09.000 No.
02:26:09.000 You sleep out there, too?
02:26:11.000 Sometimes, yeah.
02:26:11.000 It depends on where you're going.
02:26:13.000 Yeah.
02:26:13.000 I don't like camping, though.
02:26:15.000 I really don't.
02:26:16.000 I don't like sleeping on the ground.
02:26:17.000 I would way rather, like, go back out and go somewhere where you could sleep.
02:26:21.000 But I'll do it.
02:26:23.000 You know, I do like being there.
02:26:25.000 And sometimes if you got to camp, if that's the only way you can go.
02:26:28.000 Some people love camping.
02:26:29.000 My friend Steve, he loves camping.
02:26:31.000 I got evicted too much when I was a kid.
02:26:34.000 I can't get people.
02:26:35.000 It triggers.
02:26:36.000 It triggers homelies. 1.00
02:26:37.000 It's not a good way to sleep.
02:26:39.000 Like, you're way better off in a house.
02:26:40.000 Like, houses are protected.
02:26:42.000 You know?
02:26:42.000 Like, a house, an animal's not gonna come in and eat you.
02:26:44.000 Nah, I just, I mean, I can't sleep outside.
02:26:48.000 Yeah, it's an acquired taste, but for some people.
02:26:52.000 Some people just love being rugged, too.
02:26:54.000 They like the idea of being rugged.
02:26:56.000 They like the idea, you know, cooking their food over a campfire, sleeping in a tent.
02:27:00.000 Taking a bath halfway.
02:27:02.000 In a stream.
02:27:03.000 Yeah, washing themselves in a cold stream.
02:27:04.000 That's people who got money.
02:27:05.000 Yes, exactly.
02:27:07.000 Is that who do that?
02:27:08.000 Yes, exactly, right?
02:27:09.000 Because broke people already do that.
02:27:11.000 I guess that's why I don't like it, Joe.
02:27:14.000 Well, some people do it that don't have money because they just want the food, and the best way to get wild food is to, you know, you've got to hunt.
02:27:21.000 And if you're going to hunt, you've got to go where the animals are, and they're usually not where the people are, so you've got to get in there pretty far.
02:27:28.000 No, it's like that island.
02:27:30.000 What is that island, those indigenous people?
02:27:33.000 North Sentinel Island? 1.00
02:27:34.000 Well, if you go in there, they'll drag your ass, they'll kill your ass. 1.00
02:27:38.000 That guy went up there and tried to bring Jesus to them. 1.00
02:27:41.000 They said, come on, we got the Lord for your ass. 1.00
02:27:44.000 They shot that bone arrow and drug that motherfucker off and peeled him. 1.00
02:27:48.000 Yep, yeah. 1.00
02:27:49.000 Yeah, they killed that dude. 0.98
02:27:50.000 Killed him with a Bible in his hand. 0.99
02:27:53.000 They did. 0.60
02:27:54.000 They was like, thank you for the word.
02:27:55.000 We're going to use it to start a fire.
02:27:57.000 He wasn't supposed to go there either.
02:27:59.000 It's illegal to visit them, which is kind of strange.
02:28:02.000 Because you're not allowed to...
02:28:05.000 It's like the idea is that they are uncontacted, so you're not allowed to contact them.
02:28:11.000 But they're never going to...
02:28:12.000 There's only like 39 of them.
02:28:14.000 Where is that at?
02:28:15.000 It's off the coast of India.
02:28:17.000 So these people that live there, they're the direct descendants of people who left Africa 60,000 years ago.
02:28:22.000 And they landed on this island.
02:28:23.000 And a very small population.
02:28:25.000 They think the most it's ever been is like 150 people.
02:28:27.000 And so out of these people, there's 39 of them left.
02:28:30.000 And they probably have an inbreeding problem, too.
02:28:33.000 I'm quite sure they do.
02:28:35.000 They're not really studied, you know? 0.70
02:28:36.000 But there was a guy that was a really fucked up story where a guy... 0.76
02:28:42.000 Visited them in the 1800s. 0.90
02:28:44.000 His name was Commander Maurice Vidal Portman. 0.97
02:28:46.000 And this guy was like a pervert. 0.99
02:28:48.000 And he would go there and take pictures with these men and have them dressed up weird, like dressed up like Roman soldiers and take pictures with them and shit. 1.00
02:28:56.000 And it was like, he was doing weird freak shit, like measuring their dicks and measuring their balls and taking, like literally said, this one had testicles the size of a sparrow's egg. 0.99
02:29:05.000 Like this was like one of his notes. 1.00
02:29:07.000 So he was a freak. 0.91
02:29:09.000 We gave these guys a disease. 0.97
02:29:10.000 He gave people a disease.
02:29:11.000 Like he was probably, like probably had some normal human disease for Europeans and gave it to these people and a few people died and they chased him off the island. 0.97
02:29:20.000 So these people, when this guy went back with the Bible, one of the reasons why they're so hostile is probably they have terrible stories of being visited in the past by people who took pictures of their dicks and gave them diseases. 0.67
02:29:32.000 Can you imagine if people did that to all colonizers? 0.77
02:29:35.000 Yeah, so that's the guy that's commander Maurice Vidal Portman Yeah, and so he had did and there was quite a few different islands that he did this to yeah, that's the Andamanese so he was with these people and so that those occasionally people would go and fuck with these indigenous people and if they hadn't Maybe someone could go there and bring them food and bring them medicine and treat them respectfully today and maybe help them in
02:30:05.000 some sort of way.
02:30:06.000 But then the question is, should they do that?
02:30:09.000 Because if they did that and then they took them out of there, that culture would not exist anymore.
02:30:14.000 But then the question is, but yeah, they don't even have fire.
02:30:17.000 These people are living on this very small island. 0.99
02:30:19.000 It's a fucked up little place. 0.99
02:30:21.000 I don't know what food they're eating, but they're getting it from the ocean or they're getting it from whatever animals live on that island with them. 0.99
02:30:28.000 But this is the thing about colonization.
02:30:31.000 That's how fire and medicine and everything that we have is normal to us.
02:30:36.000 That's normal to them. 0.99
02:30:38.000 So we don't need to go fuck with it. 0.99
02:30:39.000 The question is, like, should you give them... 0.99
02:30:43.000 First of all, colonizing them, like, taking over their land... 0.98
02:30:47.000 Yeah, clearly that's fucked up, and that shouldn't happen. 0.84
02:30:50.000 But should someone allow them to move off the island and come to civilization? 0.99
02:30:56.000 Like, if you could speak their language, and you could say, hey, man...
02:31:00.000 We have electricity, we have air conditioning, refrigerators, restaurants.
02:31:04.000 Can you imagine taking someone from an island where they've been hunting turtles their whole life or whatever the fuck they eat, and then bringing them to a nice restaurant, freaking them out?
02:31:12.000 I don't know what the answer to that is. 0.91
02:31:14.000 I don't know if you should or shouldn't do that. 1.00
02:31:17.000 I think you should mind your fucking business. 0.99
02:31:19.000 Because if they wanted to get off that island... 1.00
02:31:21.000 No, no, no.
02:31:21.000 They can't.
02:31:22.000 They can't get off that island.
02:31:23.000 Why not?
02:31:23.000 They've tried.
02:31:24.000 They don't have the ability to make a boat that can survive the journey.
02:31:27.000 Because they...
02:31:27.000 You're on an island that they don't have metal.
02:31:31.000 Well, I'm saying if they wanted to get on that island, so many people have tried, you know, like the ones who tried to visit, they'd be like, hey, we're waiting on you. 0.99
02:31:37.000 We're going to kill you and take your boat and get the fuck up out of here. 0.99
02:31:39.000 But instead, they kill you dragging the wood and skinning you. 1.00
02:31:42.000 Well, they've killed people before that fucked up besides that guy. 1.00
02:31:45.000 There was a ship that shipwrecked close to the shore, and they killed those guys. 0.99
02:31:51.000 And then they think they might have salvaged some metal from that ship because they think they've seen them with like makeshift knives they've created from some of the metal from the ship.
02:32:01.000 It's a crazy story.
02:32:03.000 So what do they do?
02:32:04.000 Just have somebody watching them all the time?
02:32:06.000 They just have rules where you can't go there.
02:32:09.000 I think whether it's India or whatever country is in control of that island, they just have some very strict laws about interacting with them.
02:32:18.000 But it is fascinating because these people essentially lived like people lived 60,000 years ago.
02:32:25.000 They're not sure if they have fire.
02:32:27.000 They probably are.
02:32:28.000 They're worried, though.
02:32:30.000 They're worried because there's so few of them because of inbreeding.
02:32:32.000 They're worried that they're inbreeding because this is such a small genetic population.
02:32:37.000 You know, they have 39 people.
02:32:40.000 It's not a lot.
02:32:40.000 So they're worried about molestation?
02:32:42.000 No, they're worried that they're inbreeding with each other, that the genetic diversity is not enough to sustain a healthy population.
02:32:49.000 Well, mind your business.
02:32:52.000 That's Ms. Pat's answer to everything. 1.00
02:32:54.000 Mind your business.
02:32:56.000 It's 39 of them.
02:32:57.000 I mean, when they eventually die off, they just want the island.
02:33:00.000 I guarantee you they want to put a hotel on the island.
02:33:02.000 There's nothing on the island.
02:33:03.000 Not yet?
02:33:03.000 Maybe.
02:33:04.000 Imagine how fucked up that would be. 0.98
02:33:08.000 People working there at the hotel that used to live on the island, now they work there. 0.98
02:33:13.000 Yeah, so they just want what they can't have. 0.99
02:33:16.000 Leave them people to fuck alone. 1.00
02:33:17.000 Mind your business and you don't get killed. 1.00
02:33:19.000 Yeah, but if the person could figure out a way to make a boat, maybe we should just drop off some boats.
02:33:25.000 Just drop off some boats. 0.98
02:33:26.000 Joe, I ain't fucking with them folks. 0.97
02:33:27.000 Just do whatever you want to do. 1.00
02:33:28.000 Them folks got knives that travels faster than bullets. 0.52
02:33:31.000 They have a lot of bows and arrows. 0.99
02:33:32.000 Yeah, I'm not fucking with them folks. 0.99
02:33:33.000 They folks, right where they want, I mind my business. 0.99
02:33:36.000 If they want to get off that aisle, they be done swim the fuck up off that aisle. 1.00
02:33:39.000 Now, I ain't fucking with nobody that ain't fucking with me. 1.00
02:33:42.000 Okay, that's what white people problem. 1.00
02:33:43.000 Y'all Stop fucking with people, white people. 1.00
02:33:47.000 They wreck where they want to be at. 1.00
02:33:49.000 If they want to fuck their uncles and cousins and aunties, if they're going to make the family bigger, hey, they ain't got no laws. 1.00
02:33:54.000 Ain't no police on that island. 1.00
02:33:56.000 Do your thing.
02:33:57.000 That's true, too.
02:33:58.000 And that's one of the things when they killed that guy that came with the Bible.
02:34:01.000 There was some question, like, should they be in trouble for murder?
02:34:05.000 No, he went for the house.
02:34:07.000 Hey, he knocked on their door.
02:34:08.000 Exactly.
02:34:09.000 And also, like, their roles are different than ours.
02:34:11.000 Well, who they gonna knock up?
02:34:12.000 Well, take your badass on in the woods. 0.98
02:34:14.000 And if we're gonna do that, then we would go and prosecute North Korea for killing their people, too. 0.99
02:34:18.000 And we don't do shit about that. 0.99
02:34:19.000 But also, then whenever somebody gets eaten by a shark, you can't go kill the shark because you was in their house. 0.98
02:34:25.000 That's why you got eaten, because you were in their house.
02:34:27.000 That's where I disagree. 1.00
02:34:28.000 I'll kill the fuck out of a shark. 1.00
02:34:29.000 But you're in their territory. 1.00
02:34:32.000 Yeah, but we win.
02:34:33.000 We're people. 1.00
02:34:35.000 Listen, if a shark kills one of my friends and I know where that shark is, like if it's got a beacon or something, I'm going to go kill that fucking shark 100%. 1.00
02:34:43.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:34:44.000 I'm getting it.
02:34:45.000 But don't you think that that's their territory?
02:34:46.000 I'm going to eat it, too. 0.99
02:34:47.000 So if you rolled your ass up near them folks' islands... 0.99
02:34:50.000 No, but that's a different animal. 0.97
02:34:52.000 Okay, alright.
02:34:52.000 That's like someone's house.
02:34:54.000 Yeah, but that's what I'm saying with the sharks.
02:34:56.000 Or the Amazon. 1.00
02:34:56.000 No, fuck sharks. 1.00
02:34:58.000 That's their territory. 1.00
02:35:00.000 Sharks can eat shit. 1.00
02:35:01.000 Not anymore. 1.00
02:35:01.000 I just showed up. 1.00
02:35:02.000 I showed up with a gun.
02:35:03.000 Now it's mine. 1.00
02:35:04.000 So what you saying, if a motherfucker jet skiing, it's okay for the shark to just yank his ass off the jet ski? 1.00
02:35:10.000 You in they house. 1.00
02:35:10.000 I'm not saying it's okay for them to eat it. 1.00
02:35:12.000 I'm saying it makes sense that they would feel threatened.
02:35:15.000 Or they would eat you because why are you here?
02:35:17.000 Let me explain something to you.
02:35:18.000 Sharks do not ever feel threatened.
02:35:19.000 The ocean is way bigger than an island. 0.99
02:35:22.000 And if you see a motherfucker out here playing in your yard, just go on over there. 1.00
02:35:25.000 You got plenty more room to go fuck around in. 1.00
02:35:27.000 The ocean is big. 1.00
02:35:28.000 That's a good point.
02:35:29.000 The island is theirs. 0.60
02:35:30.000 I see that, but I just think it's territory.
02:35:34.000 Don't go into their territory. 0.98
02:35:36.000 Joe Rogan, he's black and scared of water. 1.00
02:35:38.000 That's why he's talking that shit. 1.00
02:35:40.000 But if you saw someone kill one of your friends, if you saw a shark kill one of your friends, you wouldn't want to kill that shark? 1.00
02:35:44.000 Hell, y'all want to kill it, but I'm saying I can't blame it. 0.97
02:35:47.000 Oh, excuse me. 0.99
02:35:48.000 I'm saying I can't blame it.
02:35:49.000 It's not a person, so you can't blame it.
02:35:51.000 They kill everything they can. 1.00
02:35:52.000 If I saw a shark kill one of my friends, I'm getting the fuck off. 1.00
02:36:01.000 Somebody need to be able to tell this motherfuckin' story. 1.00
02:36:04.000 Ain't no sin. 1.00
02:36:04.000 I'm not walking out there whoopin' that shark ass. 1.00
02:36:07.000 Hey, that motherfuckin' faster than me. 1.00
02:36:09.000 You know, I just had a scooter at Disney. 1.00
02:36:13.000 I'm gonna do the most niggery shit. 1.00
02:36:16.000 I'm getting the fuck out. 1.00
02:36:17.000 I'm gonna walk on water like Jesus Christ. 0.98
02:36:20.000 You hear me?
02:36:21.000 Hey, they got him.
02:36:23.000 I was blessed.
02:36:25.000 They developed these suits for people to wear around bears, these bear suits.
02:36:29.000 They're like these big metal suits with spikes popping out of them.
02:36:33.000 Have you ever seen any of that?
02:36:34.000 Mm-mm.
02:36:34.000 See if we can find those.
02:36:36.000 What's that for?
02:36:36.000 They're bear-proof suits.
02:36:38.000 They've developed these.
02:36:40.000 Yeah, well, I think they've developed...
02:36:42.000 I think they started out in Siberia.
02:36:44.000 That's what Kanye was wearing.
02:36:45.000 Ah!
02:36:47.000 It does.
02:36:47.000 Look, that's it.
02:36:48.000 It's selling it for $2,500.
02:36:49.000 That's a Siberian bear hunting suit.
02:36:51.000 No.
02:36:52.000 So they literally developed a suit that's covered in spikes so that if the bear tries to bite you, it hurts his teeth.
02:36:57.000 Wow.
02:36:58.000 Or it hurts his mouth.
02:36:59.000 I mean, you're going to have to ask that dude, but since we have his jacket, I doubt he's alive.
02:37:05.000 That's a good point.
02:37:07.000 He probably peeled him like an avocado.
02:37:09.000 I guarantee you.
02:37:10.000 That's going to be a Yeezy outfit in six months.
02:37:15.000 Literally, I wasn't joking when I said that.
02:37:17.000 Look at his jacket.
02:37:18.000 Oh, wow.
02:37:20.000 That's hilarious.
02:37:21.000 Oh, this was when he was on stage with the mask on.
02:37:24.000 No, he had a stocking cap.
02:37:25.000 He had a stocking cap on his face.
02:37:27.000 That is what he's wearing.
02:37:28.000 He's wearing a bear hunting jacket.
02:37:30.000 Wow.
02:37:30.000 Wow.
02:37:31.000 That is crazy.
02:37:33.000 And that jacket probably cost $3,000.
02:37:36.000 Yep.
02:37:36.000 $30,000.
02:37:37.000 Yep.
02:37:39.000 That is wild.
02:37:39.000 What's so crazy is, they gonna buy it too, Joe.
02:37:42.000 Of course they will.
02:37:43.000 And they gonna buy that.
02:37:43.000 I keep telling black people, I say, Kanye is rich.
02:37:46.000 He's a fucking genius. 1.00
02:37:48.000 Y'all can't walk around the United States being black with that shit on your head look like you about to rob the gas station. 1.00
02:37:53.000 If Kanye had food stamps, black people would buy it for $3,000 a pop. 1.00
02:37:57.000 Not me. 0.92
02:37:59.000 Kanye's an unusual human.
02:38:00.000 Have you ever met him?
02:38:01.000 No.
02:38:02.000 His brain is firing at a different RPM than everybody else's.
02:38:06.000 I bet it is.
02:38:07.000 It's just going.
02:38:08.000 He's probably simultaneously thinking about new products while he's thinking about new songs.
02:38:14.000 He wants to reimagine housing.
02:38:16.000 He wants to build houses.
02:38:17.000 He wants to develop communities that are self-reliant communities where they grow their own food and use solar power.
02:38:24.000 And the dude is just constantly going with new ideas.
02:38:28.000 Constantly.
02:38:32.000 There's people whose brains just don't work at the same speed as ours.
02:38:36.000 And that's one of those people.
02:38:38.000 And he's just constantly trying to process things.
02:38:40.000 And he was saying that when they tried to get him on medication, they were like, listen, you've got to get on medication.
02:38:45.000 They tried to calm him down, but the medication made him...
02:38:48.000 He looked different.
02:38:51.000 Yeah, he gained a lot of weight.
02:38:52.000 He looked different.
02:38:53.000 He looked slow.
02:38:54.000 He looked unhappy.
02:38:56.000 Exactly.
02:38:58.000 Exactly.
02:38:58.000 I mean, it was a droopiness to his face.
02:39:02.000 And I remember the black community like, what the fuck is Kanye on? 0.99
02:39:05.000 They put him on some medication. 1.00
02:39:07.000 But then when he got off of it, he came alive.
02:39:10.000 I don't know why he put the stocking cap on his head.
02:39:13.000 But I guarantee you, you're going to have Yeezy across the top, and you're going to see a whole bunch of people with ski masks on, and there's going to be a lot of niggas in jail. 1.00
02:39:22.000 Well, in this day and age where everybody has to wear a mask, that's the solution in his mind.
02:39:26.000 That ain't the solution for us, Joe.
02:39:28.000 Okay.
02:39:29.000 Did you see Kim was wearing one, too?
02:39:31.000 Yes.
02:39:31.000 She was?
02:39:32.000 Yeah, she wore one, too.
02:39:33.000 She wore the whole deal. 1.00
02:39:34.000 Her kids are like, what the fuck are you wearing, Mommy? 1.00
02:39:36.000 What is this? 1.00
02:39:37.000 You're going to pay $3 off of your makeup and then you got on a ski cap.
02:39:42.000 I wonder how many people are going to wear those bear hunting suits around now.
02:39:44.000 Not me.
02:39:45.000 People are going to buy them.
02:39:46.000 100%.
02:39:46.000 Oh, yeah.
02:39:46.000 They're going to buy them.
02:39:47.000 If he makes them, they'll buy them.
02:39:48.000 Well, when you like an artist, you buy them.
02:39:50.000 Look, I'm not even Beyonce's size, but I find myself waiting on the Ivy Park shoes. 0.99
02:39:55.000 I can't wear shit with Beyonce's shoes she dropped. 1.00
02:39:57.000 But I find myself waiting on Ivy Park to drop some shit. 1.00
02:40:01.000 You hear me? 0.99
02:40:02.000 I have four phones and a laptop going.
02:40:04.000 I gotta get me a pair of Ivy Park shoes.
02:40:07.000 When Kanye came on the podcast, before he came on, there was one point in time where he wanted to redesign my studio.
02:40:14.000 He's like, I want to redesign a studio.
02:40:15.000 I want to do it somewhere else.
02:40:17.000 We're going to redesign it.
02:40:17.000 I was like, okay.
02:40:19.000 But then Jamie got COVID. Jamie was not there for the Kanye interview, unfortunately.
02:40:24.000 So we had, look, man, we just lost our producer.
02:40:27.000 We got to do it in our studio.
02:40:28.000 So he did it in...
02:40:30.000 In here, in our old studio, but he did not like it.
02:40:32.000 He did not like the aesthetics of the old studio.
02:40:34.000 Like, his mind is always thinking about design.
02:40:37.000 And when he told me this, I was like, okay.
02:40:40.000 And so then, all of a sudden, we're on FaceTime.
02:40:42.000 He starts showing me sketches that he already has of the new studio that he wants to design.
02:40:47.000 He's making a studio like a womb.
02:40:49.000 Like, this big, crazy studio.
02:40:51.000 He had these wild ideas.
02:40:52.000 Like, his brain is on...
02:40:54.000 It's like he's on jet fuel, just constantly going, just... 1.00
02:40:58.000 But that's why he can do all the shit that he does. 1.00
02:41:00.000 It's not a normal mind. 1.00
02:41:01.000 He had two listening parties.
02:41:04.000 Did he drop the album yet?
02:41:05.000 I don't think so, not yet.
02:41:06.000 And still ain't dropped the album. 0.99
02:41:07.000 And people, well, what the fuck? 0.99
02:41:08.000 It's like crack to him now. 1.00
02:41:10.000 Yeah, but that's what he does.
02:41:11.000 He gets everybody excited about things. 1.00
02:41:13.000 He's a fucking genius. 1.00
02:41:15.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:41:15.000 He really is. 1.00
02:41:16.000 Well, we're not going to drop this.
02:41:17.000 I should take the show back.
02:41:21.000 After this podcast, everybody's going to be so hyped up for your show.
02:41:24.000 Yeah.
02:41:25.000 Miss Pat's decided to hang on to it for a while, and now she has a bear hunting suit.
02:41:29.000 And don't forget the face mask.
02:41:30.000 And a scooter.
02:41:32.000 Face mask, bear hunting suit, and a scooter just driving around Beverly Hills.
02:41:36.000 Beverly Hills?
02:41:37.000 I live in Indiana.
02:41:38.000 I know.
02:41:38.000 I'm just saying.
02:41:39.000 Are you going to stay in Indiana?
02:41:41.000 What if you become a gigantic star and the show becomes huge?
02:41:44.000 You've got to move out of Indiana.
02:41:45.000 Yeah.
02:41:46.000 Because they'll bother you there.
02:41:48.000 They'll bother you anywhere, Joe.
02:41:50.000 Do you get peace?
02:41:51.000 Do I get peace?
02:41:52.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:41:53.000 I said, get the fuck out of my face. 0.99
02:41:57.000 And I mean it. 0.99
02:41:59.000 And I love my fans.
02:42:01.000 I mean, God, I do.
02:42:02.000 These people, some of them rock on me from the start.
02:42:04.000 And I run into people, can I take a picture?
02:42:07.000 I said, let me talk to you for a minute.
02:42:08.000 Hang on, no makeup, my wig ain't glued down. 0.99
02:42:10.000 I ain't gonna wash my ass. 0.99
02:42:12.000 I said, but what we gonna do? 0.99
02:42:15.000 I'm going to send you a gift or some shit, but you ain't going to put... 0.95
02:42:18.000 I said, thank God for Snapchat. 1.00
02:42:20.000 So I said, give me your motherfucking phone. 1.00
02:42:22.000 You got Snapchat? 1.00
02:42:23.000 They said, no.
02:42:23.000 I said, I'm going to do it on mine, and I'm going to airdrop you the picture.
02:42:27.000 So Snapchat allows you to put on makeup.
02:42:29.000 Even though we don't have on makeup.
02:42:31.000 Oh, that's hilarious! 0.99
02:42:31.000 So I said, you're not gonna take a fucking picture because I already be doing my podcast with no brawn. 0.99
02:42:37.000 You don't see me on my podcast. 0.99
02:42:39.000 I be sitting in my basement looking like I'm the only motherfucker with a podcast without a professional studio. 0.96
02:42:45.000 Where are you doing your podcast out of? 0.99
02:42:46.000 Just your basement?
02:42:47.000 Out of my basement, yeah.
02:42:48.000 Who are you doing it with?
02:42:50.000 Dion Curry, a comedian, and Chris Spangles.
02:42:54.000 And how many do you have out?
02:42:56.000 Oh, probably.
02:42:57.000 We got about 200 or 100 or something.
02:42:59.000 I don't know.
02:42:59.000 It's going good?
02:43:00.000 It's going really good.
02:43:01.000 Thank you for making me started. 0.98
02:43:03.000 It's going really fucking good. 0.90
02:43:04.000 I didn't think I like to talk that much. 0.90
02:43:07.000 What?
02:43:08.000 Did you talk to somebody about whether or not you like to talk?
02:43:11.000 Because everybody always said, yes!
02:43:14.000 I actually like it, and the fans love it.
02:43:17.000 Of course they do.
02:43:18.000 I enjoy it.
02:43:20.000 It relieves me every week.
02:43:22.000 You have a take on everything.
02:43:24.000 You have a take on everything.
02:43:25.000 Everything and anything you have a take on.
02:43:27.000 For you to not have a podcast would be criminal.
02:43:29.000 Yeah, so I started at the Pat Down with me, Chris, and Dion.
02:43:33.000 It's a great name, too.
02:43:34.000 The Pat Down?
02:43:35.000 It's great name.
02:43:35.000 Because I'm a convicted felon, I used to get Pat Down.
02:43:37.000 And your name's Pat.
02:43:38.000 And my name is Pat.
02:43:41.000 But it's going great.
02:43:43.000 Beautiful.
02:43:44.000 And I'm enjoying it.
02:43:46.000 I really am.
02:43:47.000 I'm looking to move to Atlanta.
02:43:49.000 Ah, there you go.
02:43:51.000 Yeah, I just put a bidding for a house there.
02:43:56.000 It's on seven acres.
02:43:58.000 Beautiful.
02:43:59.000 How far away from where the clubs are?
02:44:02.000 What clubs are in Atlanta now?
02:44:03.000 Where can you work out?
02:44:05.000 Punchline, Atlanta Comedy Theater.
02:44:07.000 Punchline's back?
02:44:08.000 Punchline is back.
02:44:09.000 When did it come back?
02:44:10.000 Oh, wow.
02:44:11.000 Oh, I didn't know.
02:44:12.000 Atlanta Comedy Theater.
02:44:14.000 Laughing Skull's that little spot. 0.98
02:44:15.000 Laughing Skull's.
02:44:15.000 That's a good spot.
02:44:16.000 I like that little spot.
02:44:17.000 I go there all the time.
02:44:18.000 I love the Laughing Skull. 0.99
02:44:19.000 That's a great little spot, like 90 seats or some shit. 0.97
02:44:21.000 Yeah, I go there a lot when I'm in town, but it's not far. 0.97
02:44:26.000 I'm just right outside the perimeter.
02:44:27.000 My husband don't like to be close to the neighbors, so he's just like the, you know...
02:44:33.000 Sounds like my kind of guy.
02:44:34.000 Yeah, he don't like a lot of people.
02:44:36.000 Yeah, give me some space.
02:44:37.000 Yeah, I just tuck him... 0.99
02:44:39.000 You know he only seen me twice since I've been doing this shit. 0.99
02:44:41.000 That's hilarious. 0.98
02:44:42.000 He saw me with Cat Williams, and then he saw me in Indiana, and he was like, so this is what you do.
02:44:49.000 Ha ha ha ha!
02:44:51.000 That is hilarious.
02:44:53.000 I would want to say my husband is shy when you say that. 0.99
02:44:55.000 And he was like, you don't give a fuck what you say to these people. 1.00
02:45:00.000 He said, the shit you say to these people, and you know, my audience is mostly white people. 1.00
02:45:05.000 He's like, and they just eat it up. 1.00
02:45:07.000 I'm like, well, I'm just being honest.
02:45:08.000 I'm being mean.
02:45:09.000 I'm not up here trying to be nothing else. 0.99
02:45:10.000 And they know who the fuck I am. 0.99
02:45:12.000 If you know who the fuck Ms. Pat is, because I tell this joke. 1.00
02:45:14.000 I tell this story about my special, my Uncle Cecil. 0.99
02:45:19.000 If people read my book, they know what I'm talking about.
02:45:21.000 Well, my granddaddy, he was special need. 0.99
02:45:22.000 He used to buy him pussy on Saturday to slow down his seizures during the week. 1.00
02:45:27.000 LAUGHTER I'm not fucking lying. 1.00
02:45:30.000 But me and my sister had to go back there and help him get started because he was special need. 0.97
02:45:36.000 And I tell this story on stage and people, last week when I was at Indiana, this girl was like, is she for real?
02:45:42.000 And other white ladies say, hell yeah, she for real. 1.00
02:45:44.000 Be quiet. 0.97
02:45:47.000 How did your husband not know you though?
02:45:50.000 Why is that shocking to him?
02:45:52.000 Because he never really saw me like headline.
02:45:54.000 He only saw me one time open in front of Cat Williams.
02:45:56.000 He just don't, he won't come.
02:45:58.000 So everything's starting to take off and you know.
02:46:01.000 So he was curious?
02:46:02.000 Yeah.
02:46:02.000 No, I just say, hey, dude, come on and watch what I do.
02:46:05.000 And he's like, y'all stay up too late.
02:46:09.000 Y'all stay up too late.
02:46:10.000 And he's like, uh, you funny.
02:46:13.000 He's like, you pretty funny, but you a little mean up there sometimes. 1.00
02:46:17.000 I'm like, motherfucker, I ain't. 1.00
02:46:19.000 Because, you know, when I'm telling these stories, they be like, uh, I'm not here for your fucking uhs and ahs, okay? 1.00
02:46:25.000 And I tell them, I said, if you're feeling sorry for me, write me a check. 0.98
02:46:28.000 We can cry together.
02:46:30.000 I'm not here for you to feel sorry for me.
02:46:32.000 You know, because I push it.
02:46:33.000 I mean, I write, I talk about being molested.
02:46:36.000 I talk about having kids, you know, anything. 1.00
02:46:39.000 I take the darkest shit in my life. 0.99
02:46:41.000 And I tell them each and every night. 1.00
02:46:43.000 When I end my set, I say, I want you to take the darkest shit in your life and find it funny. 0.99
02:46:47.000 Because when you can find it funny, you got control of it. 1.00
02:46:50.000 Why dwell on shit you can't change? 1.00
02:46:52.000 Motherfucker, you can't change the path. 1.00
02:46:53.000 I said, I don't give a fuck if somebody stuck their thumb up your ass. 1.00
02:46:56.000 If he didn't get past the knuckle, he cheated himself. 0.99
02:47:01.000 But that's what I say on stage, and I want people to, my whole thing is I just want people to learn to take whatever is causing you pain and laugh.
02:47:11.000 Absolutely.
02:47:11.000 Because it's healing.
02:47:13.000 It really is healing. 0.98
02:47:14.000 I could be dwelling over, I grew up with a fucked up mama, the way I grew up and all the stuff that happened to me, but I choose to laugh at it. 0.96
02:47:21.000 And I want other people. 0.98
02:47:22.000 It worked for me, and I know it'll work for other people.
02:47:25.000 And that's why they should watch your show.
02:47:27.000 That's what you did.
02:47:28.000 You both figured out a way to do that.
02:47:31.000 You really did.
02:47:32.000 You figured out a way to take you and put it in a sitcom and not have it...
02:47:38.000 Sometimes when they do that, it's clunky. 1.00
02:47:42.000 Your shit's not clunky at all. 1.00
02:47:44.000 No. 1.00
02:47:44.000 You guys did it. 1.00
02:47:46.000 I can't wait to watch all of them.
02:47:47.000 I'm excited. 1.00
02:47:48.000 Oh shit! 0.99
02:47:49.000 Joe Rogan, you coming over to BET Plus. 1.00
02:47:51.000 I'm getting BET Plus.
02:47:52.000 I heard it's only 10 bucks a month. 1.00
02:47:55.000 Shit. 1.00
02:47:56.000 Joe Rogan is getting BET Plus. 0.99
02:47:58.000 I will definitely get it to watch your show.
02:48:00.000 Yes!
02:48:01.000 And do like my husband do.
02:48:02.000 When he wanted to see Power, he got stalled.
02:48:04.000 When it went off, he cut it off. 1.00
02:48:07.000 That might be the blackest shit you ever do, Joe. 1.00
02:48:09.000 I only have to watch 12 episodes until they get picked up. 1.00
02:48:12.000 Yeah.
02:48:13.000 So when will you find out?
02:48:15.000 They said a few weeks?
02:48:17.000 Probably a couple weeks after it airs. 1.00
02:48:19.000 Hopefully it comes out the gate running like a fucking racehorse. 0.97
02:48:22.000 Well, we are going to do our best to get it out there as fast as possible and get everybody excited about it. 0.99
02:48:27.000 It's funny.
02:48:28.000 Now, you know if Joe Rogan can come over to...
02:48:30.000 BET Plus.
02:48:31.000 Everybody can come over.
02:48:32.000 I think it can transcend.
02:48:33.000 I really do.
02:48:34.000 I think it's that good.
02:48:35.000 I think it's that good.
02:48:36.000 It's very funny.
02:48:37.000 And it premieres August 12th.
02:48:39.000 BET Plus.
02:48:40.000 Go get it, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00
02:48:41.000 It's only 10 bucks, you cheap fucks. 1.00
02:48:43.000 You got money. 1.00
02:48:44.000 Come on.
02:48:45.000 Thank you.
02:48:46.000 Skip the vitamins and get BET Plus.
02:48:48.000 Take vitamins too.
02:48:50.000 Skip other things. 1.00
02:48:51.000 Oh yeah, other shit. 0.99
02:48:52.000 Thank you, Miss Pat. 0.99
02:48:54.000 Thank you, Jordan.
02:48:55.000 Congratulations.
02:48:56.000 You guys nailed it.
02:48:56.000 Beautiful.
02:48:57.000 Bye, everybody.