The Joe Rogan Experience - April 21, 2010


Joe Rogan Experience #17 - Ari Shaffir, Eddie Bravo


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 9 minutes

Words per Minute

189.61328

Word Count

24,517

Sentence Count

2,430

Misogynist Sentences

112


Summary

This episode I talk about a bunch of stuff, including the Strikeforce vs. UFC brawl, the death of a legend rapper, and my thoughts on the recent UFC Fight Night event. I also talk about the UFC vs. Strikeforce brawl and what should have happened after the fight. I talk a little bit about Gangstar and the passing of Guru, and a lot of other stuff. I hope you enjoy this episode, it's a long one, but it's not a bad one. I'll be back next week with a new episode of the podcast, so stay tuned for that. I love you guys, bye. -Jon Sorrentino Jon Gruden Jake Shields DJ Semtex Eddie Ortiz Mike Tyson Conor McGregor Joe Rogan Dana White The future of the UFC and the future of Strikeforce And much more! Don't forget to Like, Subscribe, Share, and Subscribe to stay up to date with what's going on in the world of MMA and other sports! If you like what you listen to, share it with your friends and family, and spread the word to your friends about what you're listening to, I'm listening to this podcast! I'm looking forward to seeing you in the next episode! - Jon Rocha Thank you for listening, Jake, Eddie, Brian, Eddie and Ari and much more!! Love ya. -Jon & Eddie "The Big Dawgs" - Jon & Ari - Thank you so much. -Trying to keep up to be the best in MMA and all the love and support you can't get it better than that you can do it! -Jon and Ari is a lot more than that? -Solo, Jon and Ari can't wait to be better than this? Thanks for listening to the music is much more than enough, Jon is so much better than the rest of the guys can do the job than you can you're hearing it, so much more, Jon & he's listening to it, can you do it, too much more and more than you know it's cool than that, so thank you, Jon loves you more than he does it, you'll get it like that's not enough, thank you can say it, and so much so much than that's good enough, right? -Jon is going to say it...


Transcript

00:00:00.000 And gentlemen, very sorry for the late start here, but unfortunately I'm the only one that's here.
00:00:08.000 Brian and Eddie and Ari have not shown up yet.
00:00:12.000 Brian's not showing up because he was eating some yogurt and he bit down on his spoon and broke his fucking tooth.
00:00:20.000 Which is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard in my life.
00:00:24.000 So he's not going to be here.
00:00:26.000 And Eddie's stuck in traffic because it's raining in LA. And when it rains in LA, everybody freaks out.
00:00:33.000 And Ari's stuck in traffic as well.
00:00:35.000 So that's the story.
00:00:37.000 Let me shut this music off.
00:00:39.000 I got this synced up.
00:00:43.000 Guru from Gangstar died yesterday.
00:00:46.000 Very, very sad.
00:00:47.000 One of my favorite rap bands ever.
00:00:52.000 Dude is only 43 years old.
00:00:54.000 That's only a year older than me.
00:00:56.000 That's crazy shit.
00:00:58.000 Dying of cancer and shit.
00:01:03.000 Used to be healthy.
00:01:04.000 Now he's dead.
00:01:05.000 And that's life, unfortunately.
00:01:07.000 But the good thing is we still got his music.
00:01:10.000 Life carries on.
00:01:12.000 And maybe he's somewhere cooler right now, right?
00:01:16.000 Who the fuck knows, right?
00:01:17.000 Ladies and gentlemen.
00:01:20.000 So, since I'm starting solo, let's get started with a bunch of shit that's going on.
00:01:25.000 First of all, this fucking Strikeforce thing.
00:01:28.000 You know, one of the reasons why the Strikeforce thing is so fucked up is because they haven't really done it that many times.
00:01:36.000 They haven't done these big CBS shows that many times.
00:01:39.000 And...
00:01:40.000 They made a bunch of big mistakes and the big brawl that happened afterwards.
00:01:44.000 I mean, first of all, everyone was criticizing Mayhem and everyone was saying that Mayhem fucked up and Mayhem might cost CBS their deal.
00:01:53.000 Alright, first of all, Mayhem shouldn't have even been allowed to get into that octagon.
00:01:57.000 If that was the UFC, they have security at the stairs, they have security at the top.
00:02:02.000 You can't just walk into the octagon while the fights are going on.
00:02:05.000 It's literally not possible.
00:02:07.000 You know, you can't have that many teammates in the octagon as well.
00:02:10.000 When, you know, when Jake Shields, after his fight, he had like seven, like six or seven of his buddies in the cage, trainers, everybody.
00:02:19.000 You can't have that many people.
00:02:20.000 The UFC does not allow it.
00:02:22.000 The UFC, I believe you're allowed to have three.
00:02:25.000 And they regulate it all.
00:02:26.000 And that's what you're supposed to do.
00:02:27.000 As far as Mayhem doing something that was inappropriate, well, he definitely did something disrespectful.
00:02:33.000 You know, Jake Shields is in the middle of the biggest victory of his life.
00:02:36.000 Just beats Dan fucking Henderson and dominates him for four rounds after he got fucked up for the first round.
00:02:41.000 So, you know, it's a huge emotional victory for him and for his teammate.
00:02:46.000 You know, his teammates, rather.
00:02:47.000 You know, this is a gigantic fight.
00:02:49.000 And he pulled it off.
00:02:51.000 So...
00:02:52.000 You know, emotions were running very high, and Mayhem stepped in and bogarted the attention.
00:02:57.000 And that's not cool.
00:02:59.000 But it was a mistake.
00:03:00.000 You know, he went in there to try to hype up the fight the same way they would do it in the UFC, the same way, you know, the famous George St. Pierre, I'm not impressed with your performance, you know, when he went in there when Matt Hughes had just won.
00:03:12.000 You know, that kind of shit happens to build up fights.
00:03:16.000 That's what it's for.
00:03:18.000 But this wasn't planned.
00:03:20.000 You know, Strikeforce didn't know it was going to happen.
00:03:22.000 Mayhem thought about it last minute.
00:03:24.000 He just wanted to, you know, he was hyped up because he had won earlier in the night.
00:03:27.000 He wanted a rematch with Jake Shields.
00:03:29.000 So he runs into the octagon and, you know, they start pushing him out of the way and then chaos erupts.
00:03:35.000 He should have never been allowed to get into the octagon.
00:03:38.000 And if he was allowed to get in the cage, they should have had it regulated.
00:03:42.000 It should have been a situation where, when, you know, they would let Jake Shields speak, they ask him all the questions they're going to ask him, totally respectfully, he gets his chance, he gets his moment to say what he has to say, thank his teammates, then, after all that's done, then mayhem comes in, If that's what they want, if that's a fight they're hyping up next, who the fuck knows what their plans were.
00:04:05.000 Their plans might not be a mayhem fight next.
00:04:07.000 So it should have been up to them.
00:04:09.000 They should have regulated the cage.
00:04:12.000 They should have made sure he didn't get in there.
00:04:13.000 As far as what the Diaz brothers did and Gilbert Melendez, those guys are backing up their buddy.
00:04:21.000 Those guys are like brothers.
00:04:22.000 Those guys, they're all a bunch of fucking psychos and savages.
00:04:26.000 Their buddy just wins the Strikeforce middleweight title.
00:04:29.000 Some pushing goes on.
00:04:31.000 They're down to get in there.
00:04:32.000 That's just the way they are.
00:04:34.000 You know, I mean, the Diaz brothers, you know, people always criticize them, but I think, first of all, I think they make shit way more interesting.
00:04:43.000 When you've got someone like Nate and Nick Diaz that they don't give a fuck.
00:04:48.000 Like, they really don't give a fuck.
00:04:49.000 Like, they're not just pretending to not give a fuck.
00:04:52.000 No, they really don't give a fuck.
00:04:53.000 They will fight in a brawl on CBS on primetime.
00:04:57.000 They don't give a fuck.
00:04:58.000 They really knew what was going on and they still stepped in there and did that.
00:05:03.000 You can't just have them all together like that and let anybody in that you want.
00:05:09.000 It's like I used to have pit bulls and when you get a bunch of pit bulls in the room you can't get mad at the pit bulls if they fight each other.
00:05:15.000 That's just what they do.
00:05:17.000 And these guys are professional mixed martial arts fighters and in mixed martial arts Definitely, there's a psychological aspect to it that's a huge component of fighting and whether or not you win or lose.
00:05:31.000 And these guys have this psychological edge over their opponents because they're so aggressive.
00:05:36.000 Because they're so down to fight at any moment's notice.
00:05:39.000 They don't give a fuck.
00:05:40.000 They're not afraid.
00:05:41.000 They're ready to throw down.
00:05:42.000 And because of that, that's a significant advantage.
00:05:45.000 It's a significant tactic when it comes to fighting.
00:05:49.000 And they're not going to relinquish that just because they're on national television.
00:05:53.000 So if someone gets in one of their boys' faces and disrespects them, They're going to fight.
00:05:57.000 I mean, that's just what's going to happen.
00:05:59.000 So what I blame is, I think Mayhem certainly made an error, but he should have never been allowed to get into the position to make that error.
00:06:06.000 It was completely, in my opinion, on Strikeforce, or the committee, or whoever the fuck is supposed to be watching that cage.
00:06:13.000 You know, I don't know who's responsible for that.
00:06:15.000 The UFC takes care of all that shit.
00:06:17.000 I never have to think about it.
00:06:18.000 But whoever was responsible for that...
00:06:21.000 It was a goddamn disaster.
00:06:23.000 So that's my opinion on that.
00:06:26.000 And as far as the commentary goes, and people are talking about how bad the commentary is, this is what I think about that.
00:06:32.000 I like Frank Shamrock.
00:06:33.000 I like Frank Shamrock as a person.
00:06:36.000 I enjoy him.
00:06:36.000 I think he's funny.
00:06:38.000 I don't mind his commentary at all.
00:06:39.000 Those other two dudes, it's like my mom said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
00:06:44.000 So I'm not going to say shit, because I think those guys need work.
00:06:51.000 I'm not sure that main guy is a fan of the sport.
00:06:57.000 I don't even want to mention his fucking name.
00:06:59.000 So here we are.
00:07:01.000 This is the 420 episode of the podcast.
00:07:04.000 And what we'll do is I'll just ramble until everybody gets here.
00:07:09.000 Ari and Eddie should be here within probably 15 to 20 minutes, depending on what the traffic looks like.
00:07:15.000 And when they get here, then we'll jump off.
00:07:18.000 So between now and then, I'll just take questions.
00:07:21.000 If you see my office here, if you notice, things have changed.
00:07:25.000 I got rid of some shit here, moved something out, and I'm going to put a green screen behind me.
00:07:30.000 So for the next Ustream podcast, hopefully the next one, if not the next one, the one after that, I'll be in space.
00:07:40.000 So the way we're going to have it set up is we're going to have a podcast and then I'm going to have a green screen and I'm going to have a total space background and then I'll have couches and shit like that.
00:07:51.000 So the idea is that it'll look like couches flying through space.
00:07:55.000 So that should be pretty interesting.
00:07:57.000 This whole thing is, you know, I started out this podcast sort of just kind of as a goof.
00:08:02.000 And, you know, I just thought it would be an interesting thing to do.
00:08:05.000 I always wanted to do something like that.
00:08:06.000 I always enjoyed radio.
00:08:07.000 But I kind of never got off my ass to do it.
00:08:10.000 And now I've done it.
00:08:11.000 I think this is like the 12th or the 13th week in a row.
00:08:15.000 So we've been real consistent, and it's been a lot of fun.
00:08:19.000 And now it's number 8 on the comedy section of iTunes, which is crazy because the audio part of it was just sort of an afterthought, to throw that up.
00:08:27.000 And the Ustream one is getting plenty of hits, and it's been fun.
00:08:31.000 You know, it's...
00:08:33.000 A fun way to supplement comedy.
00:08:37.000 Speaking of comedy, I got one gig this Friday night in Sacramento, but it's already sold out.
00:08:43.000 I'm going to be doing the color commentary for Jose Aldo vs.
00:08:47.000 Uriah Faber.
00:08:51.000 They're literally not even referring to it as the WEC. They're just referring to it as Aldo vs.
00:08:56.000 Faber.
00:08:58.000 I'm not exactly sure why that is.
00:09:01.000 Because the preliminary is going to be on Spike TV. A lot of corporate shit.
00:09:10.000 So, that's what's going on.
00:09:13.000 I've got a bunch of shit to talk about.
00:09:15.000 First of all, this fucking volcano over Iceland is nuts.
00:09:19.000 If you haven't noticed that, my wife had no idea what was going on because she doesn't pay attention to shit except for gossip.
00:09:27.000 But there's a giant volcano in Iceland that literally is erupting through the ice.
00:09:33.000 It's pretty badass.
00:09:34.000 If you look at some of the video footage online, if you Google it, It's really pretty intense.
00:09:38.000 You're seeing like molten lava squirting up through the ice.
00:09:42.000 It's really wild.
00:09:44.000 And the volcanic ash has gotten so bad that they have canceled all the air flight over Europe for days and days.
00:09:53.000 Oh, our sphere's here.
00:09:54.000 How'd you get in?
00:09:56.000 Wow, beautiful.
00:09:57.000 What's up, brother?
00:09:58.000 How are you?
00:09:59.000 How are you?
00:09:59.000 Nice and gentlemen.
00:10:00.000 You're feeling excited for this place out.
00:10:01.000 I did.
00:10:01.000 Have a seat.
00:10:02.000 Yeah.
00:10:02.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen.
00:10:04.000 He's here.
00:10:05.000 Eddie Bravo.
00:10:05.000 Should be moments behind.
00:10:07.000 I'm sure he's very close.
00:10:08.000 Did you even ring the doorbell?
00:10:09.000 No?
00:10:10.000 Yeah.
00:10:10.000 You did?
00:10:11.000 I didn't even hear it.
00:10:11.000 Not so much.
00:10:12.000 I'm rambling.
00:10:13.000 We're talking about the Iceland volcano.
00:10:16.000 You know about all that shit.
00:10:18.000 Yeah, no one can fly anywhere.
00:10:19.000 Yeah.
00:10:19.000 Today, they just lifted it.
00:10:21.000 But I wouldn't fucking fly.
00:10:22.000 Lifted it fully?
00:10:23.000 Yeah, they lifted the air van over Europe.
00:10:26.000 but that's because it's costing him $200 million a day. - Yeah.
00:10:30.000 The airline industry.
00:10:33.000 I know.
00:10:37.000 It's all crazy.
00:10:38.000 $200 million a day.
00:10:40.000 How about that?
00:10:41.000 How fragile is this world?
00:10:44.000 Any little thing can happen and things close down for a couple days and these businesses, they run so on the edge that just a couple days off work and they come close to being bankrupt.
00:10:56.000 I like how people are like, fucking, I hear a lot of stories like, this volcano, I can't fly home.
00:11:00.000 I'm like, you know what we...
00:11:01.000 Could have had all life wiped out too.
00:11:03.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:04.000 Everybody.
00:11:05.000 That's just as likely.
00:11:06.000 Yeah.
00:11:07.000 People have no idea what volcanoes are all about.
00:11:11.000 Volcanoes have reshaped this earth.
00:11:14.000 Like, when you're in Hawaii, have you ever gone to Hawaii?
00:11:17.000 Uh-huh.
00:11:17.000 You ever gone over the volcano in a helicopter?
00:11:19.000 It's the fucking coolest thing ever.
00:11:21.000 I went to the Big Island and we took a trip on a helicopter and we flew over the volcano.
00:11:25.000 And you're flying over this active volcano.
00:11:29.000 You're watching the lava bubble up inside.
00:11:31.000 You can see the fucking lava.
00:11:33.000 You can see it and you can see it roll into the ocean.
00:11:35.000 Like we fly over to where it rolls in the ocean.
00:11:37.000 It's moving four inches every year closer to Japan.
00:11:42.000 It's fucking crazy.
00:11:43.000 And there's another island in the middle of the ocean that hasn't quite popped up yet, but it's on its way.
00:11:49.000 It's going to be the next island in the Hawaiian Islands.
00:11:52.000 It's on its way up.
00:11:53.000 It's building up.
00:11:54.000 That whole area is just one gigantic...
00:11:55.000 So as the volcano stuff comes out, it just dries.
00:11:58.000 Yeah, it dries and it becomes rock and then it breaks down and becomes dirt and plants grow on it.
00:12:04.000 That's how it goes dirt.
00:12:05.000 Yeah.
00:12:06.000 I mean, it literally is...
00:12:08.000 That's what Hawaii is.
00:12:09.000 It's a volcano.
00:12:10.000 It just came out of the ground and created islands.
00:12:15.000 But you can see the fucking volcano.
00:12:17.000 And they have all these different photos that you could buy there and videos you could watch.
00:12:23.000 There's a bunch of towns that were completely wiped out on the Big Island.
00:12:26.000 They'll show you where the town used to be.
00:12:29.000 The lava just came rolling in like the 50s and just crushed the entire town.
00:12:33.000 I think it happened in the 80s.
00:12:35.000 I didn't see any of that, but I'm sure there must be.
00:12:39.000 I mean, most of the stuff just gets smushed.
00:12:41.000 I mean, the lava comes down and just literally annihilates any evidence whatsoever that anything was there.
00:12:47.000 And what people don't realize is that shit has happened so many times.
00:12:52.000 This world has changed so many times just in, you know, the last few million years.
00:12:59.000 The best place to find megalodon skeletons, megalodon teeth, you know what a megalodon is?
00:13:04.000 They're these giant, ancient, prehistoric sharks that were like fucking gigantic, way bigger than great whites.
00:13:11.000 Well, the best place to find their teeth is in Montana.
00:13:14.000 Is this how it used to be covered?
00:13:16.000 It used to be the ocean.
00:13:17.000 Yeah.
00:13:17.000 How fucking nutty is that?
00:13:18.000 And that's where they hung out at the part of the ocean.
00:13:20.000 That's fucking crazy.
00:13:21.000 Montana used to be underwater.
00:13:23.000 You know, so many parts of it.
00:13:25.000 Just like 10,000 years ago, half of North America was under a mile-high sheet of ice.
00:13:33.000 Just 10,000 years ago.
00:13:35.000 That's nothing.
00:13:36.000 That's nothing.
00:13:37.000 10,000 years is nothing.
00:13:38.000 10,000 years ago, there were saber-toothed tigers and woolly mammoths.
00:13:42.000 Did you know that?
00:13:43.000 Just 10,000 years ago.
00:13:44.000 Fucking saber-toothed tigers.
00:13:46.000 10,000 years isn't shit.
00:13:48.000 Like, there were people around then.
00:13:49.000 What was the 10,000 years before that that was there?
00:13:51.000 We don't know.
00:13:53.000 10,000 years before that, I mean, as far as human civilization, it's all, who the fuck knows?
00:13:57.000 I mean, we know that the big extinction was 65 million years ago.
00:14:01.000 That was the, you know, the one that hit the Yucatan, the big meteor.
00:14:05.000 That wiped out, supposedly wiped out everything except small mammals and, you know.
00:14:10.000 Anything bigger than a fucking hamster.
00:14:13.000 What did small mammals go?
00:14:14.000 Why were they...
00:14:15.000 They figured out a way to burrow on the ground and hardy rats and shit like that.
00:14:20.000 Rats are some hardy animals.
00:14:22.000 And we're like the descendants of anything that survived 65 million years ago.
00:14:26.000 All kinds of rats.
00:14:27.000 Yeah, well, all sorts of mammals.
00:14:29.000 And some birds.
00:14:30.000 I mean, birds are a direct descendant of dinosaurs.
00:14:34.000 Somehow or another, some birds survived.
00:14:36.000 But literally, most of the life on the planet was wiped the fuck out.
00:14:40.000 And then there's the supervolcanoes, man.
00:14:44.000 Supervolcanoes have been wiping out things on this continent for millions and millions of years.
00:14:49.000 Every six to eight hundred thousand years, Yellowstone blows up and literally wipes out the whole continent.
00:14:56.000 Kills everything!
00:14:57.000 And it restarts again.
00:14:58.000 Yeah, and there's been 2,000 earthquakes in Yellowstone National Park since January of this year.
00:15:04.000 Let's hear this thing on NPR about earthquakes and how there's so many more now, you know, lately.
00:15:08.000 Yeah, is that true?
00:15:09.000 There are more now.
00:15:09.000 No, exactly the same, just happened to hit big cities.
00:15:12.000 Really?
00:15:13.000 Yeah.
00:15:13.000 So there's the same amount, it's just they're hitting places where people are.
00:15:16.000 Yeah, and if it happens, I mean, if you hit a earthquake in Baker's Gate, there's going to be so much damage.
00:15:21.000 If you get it on the corner of Sunset and Fairfax, it's going to be, you know, tremendous.
00:15:25.000 Right, right, right.
00:15:26.000 You know?
00:15:26.000 But it seems like there's so many of them.
00:15:28.000 They're happening so often.
00:15:29.000 Yeah, it does seem like a lot.
00:15:30.000 Is that because of the news?
00:15:32.000 Like, there's more access to information now than there before?
00:15:35.000 I don't know.
00:15:36.000 They were saying, like, last year was a year of celebrity death, you know?
00:15:39.000 Was it?
00:15:39.000 Yeah, it's never happened before.
00:15:41.000 But it just keeps happening.
00:15:42.000 More celebrities just died.
00:15:43.000 Last year?
00:15:43.000 Who died last year?
00:15:44.000 Jackson, that chick that was hot.
00:15:46.000 It was a George's Angels.
00:15:49.000 Farrah Fawcett.
00:15:50.000 That's your legacy.
00:15:52.000 That chick that was hot, that was in Charlie's Angels.
00:15:55.000 Michael Jackson.
00:15:57.000 Oh, yeah.
00:15:58.000 Did he die last year?
00:15:59.000 Or this year?
00:15:59.000 Billy Mays.
00:16:00.000 Billy Mays.
00:16:01.000 Seth Buck did that episode about the year of a celebrity death.
00:16:03.000 Oh, did they?
00:16:03.000 Yeah, but they were already talking about it.
00:16:05.000 Opening up, he was talking about it a bunch.
00:16:06.000 He was like, all these celebrities are dying, but it's not.
00:16:08.000 I think it's just TMZ makes more people celebrities.
00:16:12.000 That's true.
00:16:13.000 There's way more celebrities now than there before.
00:16:15.000 Do you know Gangstar?
00:16:17.000 The rap band Gangstar?
00:16:18.000 Guru from Gangstar just died.
00:16:21.000 You don't give a fuck, do you?
00:16:23.000 I just heard he existed.
00:16:25.000 I already knew he was dead before.
00:16:26.000 You never heard of Gangstar?
00:16:29.000 Sing one of their songs.
00:16:31.000 You don't sing a rap song.
00:16:32.000 I'll rap one of their stories.
00:16:33.000 I'll play you one.
00:16:34.000 Alright, I'll play you one.
00:16:36.000 How dare you, aren't you?
00:16:37.000 Sing a Diddy.
00:16:39.000 From Guru.
00:16:41.000 What a great Christian name.
00:16:43.000 That was nice.
00:16:47.000 They were good.
00:16:49.000 Gang stars, they're...
00:16:51.000 This might be a little bit too loud. ...
00:17:00.000 They were one of the best, like, lyrical bands.
00:17:04.000 When was this?
00:17:05.000 The 90s.
00:17:06.000 The 90s, they were more popular.
00:17:08.000 And he died last night.
00:17:10.000 Apparently he had cancer.
00:17:11.000 and then I had a heart attack and then I just died, succumbed to the cancer.
00:17:15.000 43 fucking real old dude.
00:17:17.000 Done.
00:17:18.000 That's like me.
00:17:19.000 Yeah.
00:17:20.000 42.
00:17:21.000 I'm almost probably 43 in August.
00:17:24.000 Dudes are dying of, like, natural causes type shit.
00:17:26.000 Yeah, but not even the weirdest thing in the world.
00:17:28.000 I'm not getting hit by a meteor.
00:17:29.000 He just fucking died.
00:17:30.000 This shit just gave up.
00:17:32.000 Broken leg all goes south in there.
00:17:34.000 It's over, son.
00:17:36.000 That guy, what's his name?
00:17:37.000 It's almost dead.
00:17:38.000 He wears a hundred pounds.
00:17:39.000 He's an actor.
00:17:42.000 He was in that scene in True Romance where he's like, you know, Yeah, so it was Christopher Walken and then the other guy.
00:17:56.000 Yeah, the old dude.
00:18:00.000 You people know who the fuck we're talking about.
00:18:03.000 The guy from, was he in Apocalypse Now?
00:18:07.000 I don't remember that movie that well.
00:18:10.000 He was also in Waterworld.
00:18:11.000 He played the lead bad guy.
00:18:12.000 Dex Hopper, thank you very much.
00:18:14.000 Jesus Christ.
00:18:15.000 He's under 100 pounds now.
00:18:17.000 Wow.
00:18:18.000 So if he was a chick, he'd be hot.
00:18:23.000 That's a brighter side of life way of looking at it.
00:18:25.000 Is that not the weirdest fucking thing in the world?
00:18:28.000 Is these women that think that being super skinny like anorexic is hot?
00:18:33.000 That shit is disgusting.
00:18:34.000 Some people like it.
00:18:36.000 They must.
00:18:37.000 How the fuck could any guy like that?
00:18:40.000 That's so anti-nature.
00:18:43.000 Nature, you want a woman to have some fat on her ass.
00:18:46.000 You want her to have big tits so she can milk the baby.
00:18:48.000 You want her to have fat on her ass so she can survive through the pregnancy.
00:18:52.000 Those are all like, there's a reason why those things.
00:18:54.000 Yeah, but those things are there for people.
00:18:57.000 But that's why those things are there.
00:19:00.000 The reason why they're attracting Yeah, the reason why they're attractive is...
00:19:04.000 Okay, so why are you attracted to like fashion?
00:19:06.000 Because that's too much.
00:19:07.000 That's obese.
00:19:08.000 that's unhealthy but a little bit of fat is good like a little fat ass I like a fat ass just like that's not good because they can't move around good You want athletic, but you want some fat on them.
00:19:20.000 That's what it is.
00:19:21.000 It's all nature.
00:19:22.000 It's all leftover shit.
00:19:23.000 I mean, think about how easy it is to trick your system.
00:19:27.000 How about fake tits?
00:19:28.000 We know they're fake.
00:19:30.000 We know there's a bag of plastic underneath your skin, but still, it makes you hotter.
00:19:35.000 It looks hotter.
00:19:36.000 They poke out, and they look ridiculous.
00:19:43.000 You know who she is?
00:19:44.000 He doesn't pay attention.
00:19:46.000 He's the anti-gossip man.
00:19:48.000 But this Heidi Montag chick, she's one of those celebrities for just being a celebrity.
00:19:55.000 Like you're not exactly sure why she's a celebrity.
00:19:57.000 She just had 10 plastic surgeries all together.
00:20:00.000 She had her chin done, her tits done, she had all this shit done.
00:20:06.000 Some people say she looks better, but I didn't think she looked bad to begin with.
00:20:09.000 She just had kind of a big chin, sort of like a Jay Leno thing going on.
00:20:13.000 But she was pretty.
00:20:14.000 She didn't have to do that.
00:20:16.000 It doesn't make you look better.
00:20:17.000 It just makes you look different.
00:20:19.000 Definitely sluttier.
00:20:20.000 She had big tits to begin with.
00:20:22.000 She had big fake tits, and she got giant ones.
00:20:24.000 Now they're ridiculous.
00:20:25.000 They look stupid.
00:20:27.000 I like a solid C. Solid C's good, right?
00:20:30.000 It's amazing how it makes a difference.
00:20:32.000 I don't know if it's like, I don't need a crazy, crazy big.
00:20:36.000 Yeah, when you see girls who have, it's so funny, like LA is so fucked up with fake tits that you see girls got real tits.
00:20:42.000 Yeah.
00:20:43.000 And they're kind of like saggy and shit.
00:20:44.000 Yeah.
00:20:45.000 And I'm like, what's wrong with those?
00:20:46.000 What's wrong with those?
00:20:47.000 Meanwhile, it's just like, that's normal.
00:20:49.000 Yeah, like, go look at fucking videos of Africa, you know?
00:20:54.000 You're not supposed to have these...
00:20:56.000 These mistletits that stick straight out of your chest.
00:20:58.000 That shit's not normal.
00:21:00.000 I think they look real nice when they go from like a B to a C. So they still hang out a little bit.
00:21:05.000 They just look like perky.
00:21:07.000 They just look like they did maybe when they were 20. It's amazing though how easy it is to trick us.
00:21:13.000 Some plastic surgery is good.
00:21:15.000 Do they need more of those people?
00:21:17.000 You've gotten the right path of surgery.
00:21:19.000 Right.
00:21:19.000 You look great.
00:21:20.000 Demi Moore is 47 years old and she still looks hot.
00:21:22.000 How the fuck is she doing that?
00:21:24.000 I saw that.
00:21:24.000 That's incredible.
00:21:25.000 The model with the buck there?
00:21:28.000 Sidney Crawford.
00:21:29.000 Yeah.
00:21:29.000 Highest buck?
00:21:30.000 Yeah.
00:21:30.000 I'm not sure in person.
00:21:31.000 Sure, but it's like, no way, not that much.
00:21:33.000 Dude, I saw her in person.
00:21:34.000 She was out of UFC maybe two years ago, so she's got to be 47, 47. Your vagina is just done.
00:21:43.000 I'm sure it's just dry as fuck.
00:21:45.000 Yeah, there's no more blood coming out of that thing.
00:21:47.000 There's no more periods.
00:21:49.000 50, when you hit 50, that's a wrap.
00:21:51.000 There's no more periods.
00:21:52.000 There's no more periods.
00:21:53.000 That means you're not ovulating.
00:21:54.000 It means you're not really able to have babies anymore.
00:21:56.000 Your body shuts the fuck off.
00:21:58.000 You're just shooting loads into a cemetery.
00:22:01.000 You're shooting loads into a casket.
00:22:03.000 There's nothing in there.
00:22:05.000 It's a total trick.
00:22:06.000 You might as well be fucking a rubber doll.
00:22:08.000 I mean, you're having sex with a person, that's all well and good.
00:22:11.000 But as far as you shooting a load inside of her, it's a total waste of time.
00:22:16.000 We don't want babies.
00:22:17.000 I know you don't want babies.
00:22:18.000 I'm not saying that you do, but I'm saying like for nature.
00:22:21.000 It's like, I mean, the only reason why sex feels good is to trick you into fucking so that you make people.
00:22:26.000 Did I ever tell you about the Jewish mystical theory about what happens to your semen that you wasted?
00:22:30.000 No.
00:22:31.000 When you pull out or when you masturbate, your semen is said to have impregnated some demon woman.
00:22:39.000 It's like they are like appearing right here.
00:22:42.000 She's fucking you as you're masturbating And we get to heaven or before you have a purgatory level and You have to face all your kids and they're like, why?
00:22:53.000 Why couldn't we be born real people?
00:22:55.000 And they're all like formed and mangled and you have to answer to all of them.
00:22:58.000 Oh my god.
00:23:00.000 That might be the greatest story ever.
00:23:02.000 How come I've ever heard of you before?
00:23:03.000 I don't know.
00:23:03.000 How much Kabbalah did you study?
00:23:05.000 So this, they taught you this when you were a child.
00:23:07.000 Now the people that don't know, Ari spent a bunch of years in his youth as a seriously religious man.
00:23:14.000 Like, read the Torah how many hours a day?
00:23:17.000 When I was in Israel, probably like, I don't know, 10, 12?
00:23:20.000 10, 12 hours a day reading the Torah.
00:23:23.000 We're gonna have to fire up the volcano for that, son.
00:23:26.000 Yeah, I gotta pee, too.
00:23:27.000 Alright, go ahead.
00:23:28.000 Grab some shit over there.
00:23:29.000 This is great, man.
00:23:29.000 You really revamped all this.
00:23:31.000 Oh, dude, I'm turning this bitch into a real studio.
00:23:35.000 Dude, I did it solo.
00:23:36.000 It took me like, yeah, it took me like 12 hours.
00:23:39.000 Well, I did have people help me get rid of the desk.
00:23:41.000 Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever heard of a volcano?
00:23:43.000 Do you know what a volcano is?
00:23:44.000 A volcano is a vaporizing device.
00:23:49.000 And what vaporizing is, is, you know, the big argument about THC, about marijuana in general, is that you shouldn't smoke it because smoke is bad for your lungs.
00:23:57.000 Well, you don't have to smoke it.
00:23:58.000 You can eat it, but eating it is very tricky, because you eat it, you get too fucked up, because when you eat it, it's processed by the liver, and it creates something called 11-hydroxymetabolite, which is four times more psychoactive than THC, and it's really a totally different experience.
00:24:14.000 You know, that's why when people eat brownies, they freak out.
00:24:16.000 That's why, you know, I'm sure a lot of you have seen that video where that dude, he's a cop, and he calls up the 911 and says that he thinks he's dying, because...
00:24:27.000 Because he and his girlfriend ate some pot brownies and he said time was moving really slow and he thinks he's dying.
00:24:35.000 Well, that's because...
00:24:36.000 Oh!
00:24:36.000 Eddie Bravo is here, ladies and gentlemen.
00:24:37.000 Oh!
00:24:40.000 Check out the office.
00:24:41.000 You cleaned this motherfucker!
00:24:42.000 Dude, I got rid of the desk and I'm turning this thing into the studio.
00:24:46.000 We're live right now.
00:24:47.000 There's over 2,000 people.
00:24:48.000 This is the biggest crowd we've ever had.
00:24:53.000 Vaporizer, ladies and gentlemen.
00:24:55.000 It blows into this plastic bag and it looks like saran wrap or some shit.
00:25:02.000 And you just get pure THC vapor.
00:25:05.000 And what it does is it heats up the little crystals on the THC and releases them and it comes out like mist.
00:25:11.000 So there's no smoke at all.
00:25:12.000 So there's no argument anymore.
00:25:14.000 There's no negative health effects.
00:25:17.000 That's why that's when I said smoke out of a vaporizer.
00:25:23.000 Dedicated cameras in here, and this is going to be a green screen, and we're going to be in space.
00:25:28.000 When I set this up, within two weeks, this will all be green behind us, and then when we're watching it, it'll be like we're flying through the universe on a couch.
00:25:36.000 It's going to be the shit.
00:25:38.000 Or every episode is a different path.
00:25:40.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:41.000 Sometimes today we're in Africa.
00:25:44.000 For real.
00:25:44.000 So what we were talking about, we went over volcanoes.
00:25:49.000 I went over Strikeforce.
00:25:51.000 I don't know if you got any opinion on Strikeforce.
00:25:53.000 I said the whole reason why that brawl took place is because they didn't guard the cage.
00:25:57.000 They didn't do a good job of making sure that nobody got in there.
00:26:00.000 Well, as soon as I saw the fight end, I was like, I want to go to their spot.
00:26:04.000 I'm like, this fight's done.
00:26:05.000 It's over.
00:26:06.000 I never won.
00:26:08.000 Mayhem went in there and talked when Jake Shields was in the cage and said, yo Jake, when am I going to get that rematch?
00:26:13.000 Gilbert Melendez pushed Mayhem out of the way.
00:26:15.000 The Diaz brothers jumped Mayhem.
00:26:18.000 Jumped him?
00:26:18.000 Mayhem pushed him.
00:26:19.000 Oh, jumped him.
00:26:20.000 It was a brawl, dude.
00:26:21.000 It was kicking him when he was down.
00:26:23.000 It was like four people on him.
00:26:25.000 Eric Apple took Jake Shields and got him out of there and pushed him over to the other side so he can get involved in the brawl.
00:26:30.000 I mean, it was a fucking bench-clearing brawl.
00:26:32.000 Oh, that's awesome.
00:26:36.000 There's a great picture online where someone from the audience captured it on their phone or something where Jake Shields and Nick Diaz are coming.
00:26:44.000 It's like from behind Jake or behind Mayhem.
00:26:47.000 Yeah, it's a great shot.
00:26:50.000 Mayhem is standing there and Nick Diaz is like this and Jake Shields is like that and Gilbert Melendez is on the other side.
00:26:57.000 Those fucking dudes, they have a lot of unity, and I respect that.
00:27:00.000 And everybody's like, oh, they're thugs, and they're this and that.
00:27:04.000 Well, you've got to realize, man, these dudes are fucking professional cage fighters, all right?
00:27:09.000 They're in there scrapping with each other every day.
00:27:12.000 They're down to die for each other.
00:27:13.000 Their reputation is hugely important.
00:27:15.000 They're not going to fucking back down.
00:27:17.000 They're not going to have a situation where they look like a bitch.
00:27:19.000 They're not going to allow someone to think...
00:27:22.000 Anybody to think that their buddy got disrespected but they didn't do anything about it.
00:27:26.000 That's not going to happen.
00:27:28.000 So any sort of a situation like that where a brawl takes place, I blame fucking Strikeforce, man.
00:27:32.000 I blame Strikeforce for allowing that to get to that position.
00:27:36.000 Allowing those fucking dudes to get into the cage.
00:27:39.000 There was a brawl that comments through it last week?
00:27:40.000 Really?
00:27:41.000 Yeah.
00:27:42.000 There was some ethnic people that everyone was scared of they asked to leave and they left as far as the front patio and all the door guys were scared So I'm like just call the cops and get them out of here But they wouldn't do it eventually the fight broke out and somebody's like Ari let's go to the front I saw the fight and I'm like I don't want to get involved in this.
00:27:59.000 I don't get stabbed from someone else Fuck that.
00:28:02.000 You're saying Ari let's go fight?
00:28:03.000 Well it's like everybody like come on come to the front defend everybody.
00:28:06.000 Are they, are the comedians looking at you as the enforcer now because of the two years of Jiu Jitsu?
00:28:10.000 Seriously, come on No they're not.
00:28:13.000 They're not?
00:28:13.000 They're not?
00:28:14.000 They can't be for the teachers reasons No, but there's gotta be some guys who are like girl so how long do they have to go?
00:28:17.000 Did you hear what Gus Johnson said?
00:28:27.000 This hasn't been confirmed, but I'm just going to say it because I hope it's true.
00:28:31.000 Gus Johnson, who's the black dude who does the commentary for Strikeforce, made a bunch of errors called arm bars, kimuras.
00:28:43.000 Well, anyway, this reporter called him up and asked him about it.
00:28:46.000 I think it was Mike Russell, I believe, was his name.
00:28:48.000 And he said, listen, dog, I know the difference between Aribar and Kimura.
00:28:52.000 I train.
00:28:54.000 He said, if you want to come down and roll with me, I'll show you the difference.
00:28:57.000 He's like challenging guys to roll with him like he trains.
00:29:02.000 Like, Gus Johnson.
00:29:03.000 On the internet?
00:29:04.000 Yes!
00:29:05.000 I can't read on the internet.
00:29:07.000 No, it's too far away.
00:29:08.000 We can pull this closer.
00:29:09.000 But if we pull it closer, the problem is there's three of us here.
00:29:15.000 Can't read it.
00:29:16.000 We can't read it.
00:29:16.000 Yeah, we don't have to read it.
00:29:18.000 We've got to just talk.
00:29:20.000 We've got to pay attention to the audience.
00:29:23.000 Yeah, but you can't pay attention to the audience and keep a conversation going at the same time sometimes.
00:29:27.000 Yeah, it's not really harsh on your lungs at all.
00:29:33.000 That's just like mist.
00:29:36.000 You know what would be great?
00:29:37.000 It's like if the DEA busted and I have caught us on the west.
00:29:42.000 We have prescriptions.
00:29:43.000 Yeah, we're legal.
00:29:44.000 I'm sick of it, and I wouldn't like to make a fight of it.
00:29:47.000 You have AIDS? Insomnia, bitch.
00:29:48.000 No, not AIDS yet.
00:29:52.000 So I'm going to crank this back up, and it'll fill the bag up again.
00:29:55.000 Oh, no.
00:29:55.000 And we'll go, one more time, son!
00:29:57.000 I think, seriously, though, seriously, because this is the 420 episode, we should be allowed to have, like, order pizza and, like, have food and shit.
00:30:06.000 During the show?
00:30:07.000 It's 420. We're getting high.
00:30:09.000 You know, like snacking on shit?
00:30:11.000 Yeah, but that fucks up with the conversation.
00:30:14.000 No!
00:30:15.000 You never had a great conversation in eating pizza?
00:30:17.000 Yeah, but people are watching this conversation.
00:30:19.000 This conversation is like a show.
00:30:20.000 But I'm talking about how it will come home again.
00:30:22.000 That's what I'm talking about.
00:30:24.000 I'm starving.
00:30:25.000 How long will I take your pizza together?
00:30:26.000 I was going to go to the fast food joint, but...
00:30:29.000 Listen, why don't you just go walk into my kitchen and just go scrounge around?
00:30:34.000 We got a show to do, son.
00:30:36.000 Okay.
00:30:36.000 But we need to order pizza during the show.
00:30:38.000 We'll order pizza later, man.
00:30:40.000 That's pimp, man.
00:30:41.000 We'll order some pizza later.
00:30:42.000 We'll order some pizza later, and the idea will be the pizza comes right before we kill this thing, okay?
00:30:47.000 How dare you, motherfuckers.
00:30:48.000 So, um, I was telling us something hilarious.
00:30:51.000 Listen to this shit.
00:30:51.000 Stop paying attention to that.
00:30:52.000 I'll shut that off, man.
00:30:53.000 We need to be focusing on the show, son.
00:30:56.000 Ari was telling us that there's an ancient Jewish whatever the fuck it is Jewish principle thought there's a when you waste seed you're not supposed to waste semen uh-huh so um they say when you pull out and you masturbate you're not really masturbating you're fucking a demon woman who's nothing just like a ghost and when you go to heaven when you go to uh the afterlife you face all your kids that would have been born in the real life and they're born this demon woman whoa they're all deformed and like like this like why
00:31:26.000 Why'd you pull out?
00:31:27.000 We wanted to be born real, little boys.
00:31:31.000 That's awesome.
00:31:32.000 That's hilarious.
00:31:33.000 I can't wait to die.
00:31:34.000 See all my kids?
00:31:35.000 I thought I didn't have any kids, man.
00:31:37.000 I don't feel so bad now.
00:31:39.000 Dude, you've got a billion.
00:31:40.000 You've got a billion monster babies.
00:31:44.000 I think it's per load.
00:31:46.000 I don't know.
00:31:48.000 Oh, they don't count sperm.
00:31:49.000 So each time you're like fucking one demon.
00:31:51.000 I think so.
00:31:52.000 So how many demons do you think you got up in heaven?
00:31:55.000 Damn it.
00:31:57.000 I'm going to have a much more efficient setup here as well, ladies and gentlemen, when we get back.
00:32:03.000 Um, I don't know.
00:32:06.000 How many demons do you think you have?
00:32:08.000 I think on average, six a week.
00:32:12.000 Five a week since I was...
00:32:13.000 You shoot six loads a week?
00:32:15.000 Sometimes more than one a day.
00:32:17.000 Do you ever feel like a loser when you do more than one again?
00:32:19.000 No, I feel like I'm alive.
00:32:21.000 My dick works.
00:32:22.000 That's what I feel like.
00:32:23.000 Yeah.
00:32:23.000 Like, yeah.
00:32:24.000 Still working.
00:32:25.000 I always feel like if I jerk off more than once a day, then I'm just obsessed.
00:32:29.000 Yeah, three times a day is bad.
00:32:31.000 That's bad.
00:32:32.000 Obviously, I'm not horny.
00:32:33.000 You know, I already jerked off.
00:32:35.000 I know, but why just sit there like a little monkey at the zoo?
00:32:40.000 Yeah.
00:32:41.000 No, in the wild, you'd be badass.
00:32:44.000 What?
00:32:46.000 Spreading your seed, man.
00:32:47.000 You're not spreading your seed.
00:32:48.000 You're jerking off into a napkin.
00:32:49.000 But if there was a vagina there.
00:32:53.000 if there was a vagina there.
00:32:55.000 No one's ever said, no, I'd rather just jerk off.
00:32:57.000 How crazy is that?
00:32:58.000 How crazy is that?
00:33:01.000 My head feels better.
00:33:01.000 I'm sorry.
00:33:02.000 That someone's telling you that masturbation is so bad that you're fucking a demon.
00:33:05.000 That's like the worst case scenario.
00:33:07.000 You're having sex with a demon and making half-demon babies that are going to be waiting for you when you die to scream and yell at you.
00:33:13.000 That is because the institution of marriage, they want that.
00:33:17.000 That helps religion.
00:33:19.000 They want people making units and breathing.
00:33:22.000 It's amazing, though.
00:33:23.000 Why do they give a fuck?
00:33:26.000 Uh, I don't know.
00:33:27.000 Why do they give a fuck if you masturbate?
00:33:29.000 What is it about masturbation?
00:33:30.000 About no masturbation, you know, that somehow or another equates to them having more control over you?
00:33:36.000 Well, the more you don't masturbate, the more you want to fuck.
00:33:38.000 Right.
00:33:39.000 So, you know, fuck women.
00:33:40.000 And you make babies.
00:33:42.000 The more you masturbate, the less babies.
00:33:44.000 Right, so that's got to be exactly why the Catholic Church doesn't want you having birth control too, right?
00:33:48.000 Does that make sense?
00:33:50.000 Well, it's definitely way easier to control someone when they have kids.
00:33:53.000 I feel that myself.
00:33:54.000 I feel like I'm easier to control.
00:33:56.000 Now that you have kids, when you have kids, you want everything to be nice.
00:33:59.000 You want everything to be easy.
00:34:01.000 You don't want any drama.
00:34:03.000 you know, kind of like this so you can't walk.
00:34:05.000 There we go.
00:34:07.000 But man, the idea of demon babies, You're fucking a demon?
00:34:13.000 They came up with the worst story ever.
00:34:16.000 You're fucking a demon and you make babies that are half demon and they're waiting for you when you die.
00:34:21.000 What the fuck, man?
00:34:23.000 It's mystical stuff.
00:34:24.000 It's like, why stop?
00:34:26.000 Because by the time you figure that out, you've already jerked off like a thousand times.
00:34:30.000 You're like, a thousand demons, 50,000 demons, I'm fucked either way.
00:34:35.000 Might as well enjoy this life.
00:34:36.000 You're facing an army of demons.
00:34:37.000 Who cares?
00:34:38.000 There's got to be something you could do to cancel out the other demons to make up for.
00:34:43.000 Oh, good point.
00:34:44.000 There's got to be.
00:34:44.000 Is there another thing you can do?
00:34:46.000 No, I didn't mention that.
00:34:46.000 Like, what if you let a great life have 12 babies, you know, with your wife?
00:34:52.000 Three little demon babies.
00:34:53.000 Your whole life.
00:34:55.000 Maybe there's like tasks you can do on earth that cancel out your demon babies.
00:34:59.000 Is there?
00:35:00.000 There's gotta be.
00:35:01.000 You gotta look into it.
00:35:02.000 There's gotta be.
00:35:02.000 Because what about people that are trying to convert into this religion?
00:35:05.000 They're like, I would, but god damn it if I do that.
00:35:08.000 The Jews don't give a fuck.
00:35:09.000 I already got 75,000 demons.
00:35:10.000 The Jews are the least recruiting religion ever.
00:35:14.000 They don't give a fuck.
00:35:15.000 We try to convince you not to do it.
00:35:17.000 Yeah, they make it really hard to do it.
00:35:18.000 Also, it's a Jewish thing.
00:35:19.000 Yeah.
00:35:20.000 - Is this like a regular Jewish thing? - Jewish thing, you're trying to convert.
00:35:23.000 - No, no, no, all of them.
00:35:23.000 - It's fucking ass.
00:35:24.000 - All of them.
00:35:25.000 - They're like, you don't wanna fly.
00:35:26.000 - I've never heard of this before.
00:35:27.000 - Yeah.
00:35:28.000 - I've never heard of it either.
00:35:29.000 - They'll tell you if you want to.
00:35:30.000 - That's Old Testament.
00:35:30.000 - But they're like, man.
00:35:32.000 No, it is.
00:35:33.000 You study the Torah.
00:35:35.000 You used to study the Torah like 10 hours a day.
00:35:38.000 Do you remember any of that?
00:35:39.000 When David was a king, the Jews were so powerful that they wouldn't allow any conversions.
00:35:44.000 Wow.
00:35:44.000 They were like, no one's doing it for the right reasons.
00:35:46.000 We can't risk it.
00:35:47.000 That's deep.
00:35:49.000 Yeah.
00:35:49.000 And you guys, what do you guys think of Jesus?
00:35:55.000 They think that he was a real person.
00:35:57.000 Okay.
00:35:58.000 that spoke about things.
00:36:00.000 He was a, he was a, like a sort of a wise man, but they, in fact, he went off the deep end.
00:36:05.000 So they look down on Christianity for choosing Jesus as their Savior and Lord?
00:36:11.000 Yes.
00:36:12.000 They would say that, no, no, no, that's not the right guy to choose.
00:36:14.000 It's so funny how they're all sort of kind of connected.
00:36:18.000 Like, Judaism is sort of kind of connected with Christianity.
00:36:21.000 That's why all the really conservative, fundamentalist Christians wanted to control Israel.
00:36:28.000 And support Israel.
00:36:29.000 They believe in the rapture.
00:36:31.000 And they believe that when the shit goes down, that's the place to be.
00:36:35.000 Like, you have to protect them.
00:36:36.000 But they believe that they're wrong.
00:36:38.000 Even though the Bible says that they're the chosen people, the Christians are going, yeah, but you guys got the story all fucked up.
00:36:43.000 up.
00:36:44.000 We got it right.
00:36:44.000 And don't...
00:36:45.000 Wouldn't it be an awesome thing for the Jews if it came out that Jesus actually never existed?
00:36:54.000 Wouldn't it be like, dude, you guys, he never even You know what I mean?
00:36:58.000 That would crush the Christians.
00:37:00.000 Well, what proof do they have that Jesus existed?
00:37:02.000 They have historical documents.
00:37:03.000 Well, I looked online, man, and apparently that's very much in debate.
00:37:06.000 Really?
00:37:06.000 Very much in debate.
00:37:07.000 Yeah, there's a lot of scholars that do not believe he was an actual person.
00:37:10.000 There's a lot of scholars that do not.
00:37:16.000 The Jews believed that Jesus existed and he was a man.
00:37:19.000 And it would benefit their cause because they would kill each other.
00:37:22.000 It slice each other if you weren't their religion I believe that they were the former rap the great rabbis would talk about would be what Jesus see that's what my thing is That makes me think that even though there isn't that much proof that he actually even was alive and there's a lot of holes in that one DVD, the God that never was, all that shit, how come the Jews and the Muslims don't jump on that Jesus Christ never existed?
00:37:46.000 Well, I don't think.
00:37:48.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:37:49.000 So that makes me think, damn, he probably was a man who was a bad motherfucker.
00:37:53.000 Who knows?
00:37:54.000 That's what it sounds like.
00:37:55.000 But the issue is...
00:37:56.000 They said false prophet.
00:37:57.000 They said there's many false prophets.
00:37:57.000 Either way, if the guy existed, for sure he didn't walk on water and come back from the dead.
00:38:02.000 Yeah, that was like someone thinking Bruce Lee could really beat up 50 people.
00:38:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:38:07.000 Like, Bruce Lee the real guy and Bruce Lee the superstar, two different fucking people.
00:38:12.000 But it's hilarious how many people banked their life on some story that would not make any fucking sense if you told it today.
00:38:18.000 Like, if you told that story today and said there was a dude who walked on water and came back from the dead, everybody would go, just shut the fuck up.
00:38:25.000 That's ridiculous.
00:38:27.000 But because it's 2,000 years ago, everybody's like, whoa.
00:38:30.000 That shit could really happen.
00:38:31.000 Isn't that nuts?
00:38:32.000 Like anything, like rational people that you talk to that would...
00:38:35.000 There was a guy that when we were doing Fear Factor, who we did a family Fear Factor.
00:38:39.000 We came to people's houses and made them do things.
00:38:42.000 You know, we traveled all across the country.
00:38:43.000 This dude was a teacher.
00:38:44.000 He was a fucking math teacher.
00:38:45.000 And he was telling me, like, scientifically...
00:38:48.000 That Jesus existed because you can prove it because they've looked at molecules that are too complex to have just occurred naturally.
00:38:57.000 This is a super, that's a ridiculous argument.
00:38:59.000 And this is a super, super smart guy.
00:39:01.000 And I was listening to him talk, you know, supposedly super smart guy.
00:39:04.000 And I was listening to this guy talk, and I'm like, how nutty is that?
00:39:07.000 That this guy can't see that he believes in some nonsense.
00:39:10.000 Also, that's not the reason you can say Right, but you can never say that nothing can exist naturally.
00:39:25.000 You don't know the power of nature.
00:39:26.000 Nature is absolutely ridiculous, completely unpredictable.
00:39:29.000 There's subatomic particles that blink in and out of existence all the time.
00:39:33.000 They appear in two places at once.
00:39:35.000 This is science.
00:39:36.000 Real shit we know that exists in nature.
00:39:39.000 The whole pattern of nature is It's gigantic.
00:39:43.000 The Fibonacci sequence that you see in pine cones and pineapples and all sorts of different plants.
00:39:49.000 And it exists in human facial features.
00:39:52.000 There's like a mathematical code to all this stuff.
00:39:55.000 It doesn't mean that there's a fucking dude pressing the button.
00:39:58.000 It might mean that the whole thing is just super complicated and conscious.
00:40:03.000 What do you mean dude pressing the button?
00:40:04.000 There's a God.
00:40:05.000 There's a dude.
00:40:06.000 We want to break it down to someone like us.
00:40:12.000 Well, yeah, you're talking about the old man with the beard in the sky.
00:40:16.000 But Jesus being this guy comes back to the dead.
00:40:20.000 Oh no, for sure.
00:40:21.000 All of it.
00:40:22.000 The fables.
00:40:23.000 Of course.
00:40:24.000 Of course.
00:40:25.000 You say of course, but it's amazing how many people don't say that.
00:40:28.000 It sounded like you were saying that you were describing how wonderful the universe is in the Fibonacci series and how it's all like this code and structure.
00:40:39.000 And then you said why does there have to be a God doing that?
00:40:43.000 Like to me, I was like, there is an intelligence other side that is way too complex for us to understand.
00:40:50.000 Well, it's what I don't think it is.
00:40:52.000 I mean, it could be that everything has an intelligence about it.
00:40:54.000 What I don't think it is is a single entity.
00:40:57.000 I think it's much more likely that the whole big picture.
00:41:00.000 It's an interconnected thing.
00:41:01.000 We totally agree.
00:41:02.000 It's like an ocean.
00:41:03.000 It's the ocean, and then we're like little water molecules, but it's the ocean.
00:41:07.000 It's all, exactly.
00:41:08.000 And that's what psychedelic experiences feel like.
00:41:10.000 It feels like you're in the ocean sometimes.
00:41:12.000 It feels like you're all connected all around you to something that you don't see ordinarily.
00:41:16.000 Those mushrooms, I never told you.
00:41:18.000 I did them by myself on a fucking Thursday night.
00:41:22.000 I decided to party by myself.
00:41:25.000 Then I took all those fucking mushrooms.
00:41:26.000 I got pictures and everything and down Huh, how many the whole thing double that wasn't five grams now no it wasn't five times for that That was like three and a half.
00:41:38.000 Okay.
00:41:39.000 So I did them all myself.
00:41:40.000 Yeah.
00:41:41.000 And just wanted to let you know.
00:41:43.000 Yeah.
00:41:43.000 And how was it?
00:41:44.000 It was pretty fucking insane.
00:41:45.000 Yeah.
00:41:46.000 It was insane.
00:41:47.000 But not as intense as it would have been at five grams.
00:41:51.000 It was pretty intense, but the five grams was like DMT. Five grams really is that threshold point.
00:41:57.000 Boom!
00:41:58.000 That was about a year and a half ago when I did the five grams and fucking...
00:42:01.000 I was at a zoo and I just woke up in the zoo Did you feel like you were in prison?
00:42:19.000 Like you were watching their sorrow?
00:42:21.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
00:42:22.000 We just had to get the fuck out!
00:42:26.000 Zoos are super negative, man.
00:42:28.000 I feel terrible when I go to the zoo.
00:42:29.000 I do not like it at all.
00:42:31.000 It makes me feel bad.
00:42:32.000 I used to enjoy it because I used to enjoy staring at the animals.
00:42:35.000 But then one time I went high.
00:42:36.000 I went one time when I was super baked.
00:42:39.000 And when I did...
00:42:41.000 What I did when I was super baked, I felt terrible.
00:42:45.000 I got really sad.
00:42:47.000 I thought it was a terrible, terrible thing that they were doing, was just taking these animals and shoving them into these cages, and they don't even get to do it, and they just pace.
00:42:56.000 Yeah, the polar bear at the L.A. Zoo, he'll just pace back and forth by that back door, just waiting for that fucking back white door.
00:43:04.000 It's like fake ice and a white door, you know.
00:43:11.000 Yeah, that's horrible.
00:43:13.000 Man, I freaked the fuck out.
00:43:17.000 Went out to the parking lot and this chick I was with, we did the exact same thing and we saw the exact same shit.
00:43:25.000 We looked at the mountains.
00:43:27.000 We would stop in the middle of the parking lot because everything was connected.
00:43:29.000 It was all connected.
00:43:30.000 I go, look at the sky.
00:43:31.000 It's like this guy would dance and do form into like Aztec writing.
00:43:36.000 We'd look at the mountains in the distance, like miles away, like Pasadena Mountains, and all this like Aztec patterns.
00:43:44.000 They're forming the Aztec patterns.
00:43:45.000 You see that?
00:43:46.000 And I was going, are you seeing what, look at the mountains.
00:43:48.000 What are you seeing?
00:43:48.000 It's like the Aztec patterns dancing, and look at the sky.
00:43:51.000 The clouds, the clouds are in their spot for a second, and then they form, and I remember Connor telling me, because Connor's the one who, uh, um, turned me on to the dude who had him.
00:44:02.000 Yeah.
00:44:02.000 He, uh, uh, said the same, he goes, dude, he spoke, the clouds are gonna dance for you.
00:44:08.000 I'm like, Wow, I didn't even pay attention to that, really, until it was actually happening.
00:44:12.000 We get in the fucking car.
00:44:14.000 You're like, okay, cool, whatever.
00:44:15.000 I swear to God, I was driving on the freeway, freaking out.
00:44:18.000 I didn't know if there was cars next to me, on the side of me, but it really did look like as I was driving on the freeway, like I was in What Dreams May Come.
00:44:29.000 Remember that shit?
00:44:30.000 I was driving on the freeway and it was like rose petals and like bushes That was fucking insane, dude.
00:44:43.000 That, by the way, we don't want to encourage driving while high on mushrooms.
00:44:48.000 No, I was just trying to get home.
00:44:49.000 That was a terrible mistake.
00:44:50.000 All I wanted to do is get home, get in my little fucking dark room, and just close my eyes and enjoy that light show.
00:44:58.000 Because that light show was fucking insane.
00:45:00.000 The twirling beauty of...
00:45:03.000 You just kind of didn't explain it.
00:45:05.000 It's just...
00:45:06.000 That's all I wanted to see.
00:45:08.000 Why do you think you see certain religious symbolism and Hindu shit and Buddhas?
00:45:14.000 That's where they got it from.
00:45:15.000 You think that's where they got it from?
00:45:17.000 It must be, right?
00:45:18.000 Dude, people have been doing mushrooms since the dawn of time.
00:45:20.000 Of course.
00:45:24.000 Alex Gray shit.
00:45:25.000 He's telling you that's where it's coming from.
00:45:27.000 Well, Alex Gray is.
00:45:28.000 You know those things that I have in my office, the Garuda, those birds?
00:45:34.000 You know what I'm talking about in the media room?
00:45:37.000 They're these crazy psychedelic birds.
00:45:40.000 And when I did DMT ones, I saw those things.
00:45:44.000 I saw that imagery.
00:45:46.000 And then when I went to a store and saw them for sale, I'm like, I don't know.
00:45:59.000 Is it something that's already there?
00:46:02.000 We just can't tune into it until we take psychedelics?
00:46:05.000 Or is it the same hallucination happens to every person who takes a drug?
00:46:11.000 Is that possible?
00:46:13.000 I don't know.
00:46:13.000 I think that it's just, it opens up your senses somehow to this other dimension and all these dimensions that are all around us.
00:46:23.000 Right, like we're in a radio and we're only tuned into 97.1.
00:46:27.000 There's an infinite number of stations.
00:46:29.000 We're just going to another station.
00:46:31.000 That's possible too.
00:46:32.000 What is that?
00:46:32.000 I don't personally think that.
00:46:38.000 I don't think that I don't think the shit that I'm seeing, I don't know what you're seeing, but the shit that I'm seeing with five grams, I don't know if you've done five grams, but the shit you see when you do five grams is, for me, who knows, it seems impossible for me to dream that up in my brain.
00:46:54.000 Like, it's just the most beautifully constructed, flowing It's in that
00:47:24.000 same vein, but a thousand times more complex.
00:47:27.000 Way more complex.
00:47:30.000 I'm not designing this.
00:47:32.000 I'm not controlling this.
00:47:33.000 There's someone else controlling this.
00:47:35.000 Someone else is making this shit, not me.
00:47:37.000 It seems like that's definitely one option, but another option is that that stuff supercharges your perceptions and just makes your imagination more hypersensitive and it makes your visualizations go wild because it reacts with all sorts of different eyes that you use to see things.
00:47:55.000 This is a parasite that lives in the sewers and it only feeds on cats' brains.
00:47:59.000 So what it does is...
00:48:01.000 It's a worm, right?
00:48:03.000 Yeah, but it lets rats eat them.
00:48:06.000 And then it burrows into their brain.
00:48:07.000 And the only thing that changes the rats, it doesn't change any of their behavior at all, except it takes away their fear of cats.
00:48:13.000 So they will get eaten by a cat.
00:48:15.000 Everything else is the same.
00:48:16.000 They eat and breathe and do everything.
00:48:18.000 When they see a cat, they're like, oh, what's up?
00:48:19.000 Nothing major.
00:48:20.000 Cat kills it.
00:48:23.000 That's incredible.
00:48:24.000 And that's his brain.
00:48:25.000 He's like, no, it's totally fine.
00:48:26.000 We talked about this one on the show.
00:48:28.000 The other one that they do where there's a worm that gets inside a grasshopper and convinces the grasshopper to commit suicide so that it can hatch out of its body.
00:48:36.000 It grows inside the grasshopper and teaches the grasshopper to jump into the water and kill itself.
00:48:41.000 It's an aquatic worm.
00:48:42.000 So it has to be hatched in the fucking water.
00:48:44.000 How money are things like that?
00:48:46.000 That's just crazy.
00:48:52.000 Like just that alone right there is so fucking amazing.
00:48:57.000 It's so amazing.
00:48:58.000 It's just another like, you know, there's something going on, dude.
00:49:03.000 There's something going on.
00:49:04.000 I think, well, there's definitely something going on, but I think our idea that our culture is based on is just that we want it to be close to us.
00:49:12.000 We want it to be like a super version of us, which is like what a God is.
00:49:17.000 It's like a super version of a human.
00:49:19.000 But, you know, with all these rules and God is, you know, fucking kind of addictive and gets pissed at you if you fuck up and, you know, a lot of religions is willing to kill you if you don't listen to them.
00:49:30.000 You know, we want it like a super version of us.
00:49:32.000 But it's much more possible that this whole thing is just...
00:49:36.000 Connected to something that you can't stop.
00:49:39.000 Some big, powerful thing that feeds off itself.
00:49:44.000 Everything in this world has a role and plays a part in this thing.
00:49:49.000 It's just we're used to it.
00:49:50.000 We don't realize how nutty it really fucking is because we're used to it.
00:49:54.000 Because it's just a normal part of our day.
00:49:56.000 And people get used to anything.
00:49:57.000 People in Africa have giant plates they stick in their lips.
00:50:00.000 And all the girls do it.
00:50:03.000 We just get used to stupid shit.
00:50:05.000 And once we're used to something, then everything becomes fine.
00:50:07.000 And then we think that there's some sort of a grand order to things.
00:50:12.000 It's really getting weirder and weirder as I get older.
00:50:16.000 As I get older and I look at our culture and I look at life on this planet.
00:50:21.000 I look at my own mortality.
00:50:22.000 The fact that I'm like...
00:50:24.000 The next half of my life is going to be the half of my life where my body doesn't work good.
00:50:29.000 That's just the way it is.
00:50:31.000 Getting...
00:50:33.000 You're going to have health issues if you don't watch your diet.
00:50:36.000 You have to make sure you get the proper sleep or you might get heart attacks and shit.
00:50:40.000 Things start going wrong.
00:50:42.000 When you really start assessing this whole big picture of what this really is, it's like, God, I feel like I've been flying without a manual for so long.
00:50:51.000 Like, just operating my life, not really having any idea how to do it correctly, just fucking up, learning from my fuck-ups, starting from scratch.
00:51:02.000 I feel like there's such, it's got to be a way better way to learn life than the way we do it.
00:51:07.000 So by the time you get yourself and your own personality figured out, and your own, the way you interact with people figured out, by the time you get that figured out, it's like, God, you're already dying.
00:51:22.000 If I know what I do now and I go back to that age, I get laid so much.
00:51:26.000 Oh god, yeah.
00:51:27.000 Yeah, if you look like you were 30 for like 30 years, that'll be perfect.
00:51:31.000 Yeah.
00:51:32.000 If I was like 19 and I knew right now, I'd be like, "Oh, okay." They need more advancements in skin care for men.
00:51:39.000 It seems like we're not supposed to live long enough to figure this out.
00:51:44.000 It seems like the reason why turtles live to be a thousand years old and people live to be a hundred is because we're not supposed to- it would- Turtles live a thousand years?
00:51:51.000 Yeah, there's some tortoises.
00:51:52.000 No way.
00:51:57.000 Was that on National Geographic?
00:51:59.000 God dammit!
00:52:00.000 A thousand, like today, right now.
00:52:02.000 Oh yeah.
00:52:03.000 God damn!
00:52:04.000 A thousand years old.
00:52:05.000 Damn!
00:52:06.000 So they literally lived like back when people were writing, like, you know, like, fucking, what was the thousand year old writing?
00:52:12.000 They should put like little black boxes on them.
00:52:15.000 Like a baby journal?
00:52:16.000 Yeah.
00:52:17.000 They had to write everything out on paper.
00:52:18.000 Yeah.
00:52:19.000 Everything was written out.
00:52:21.000 A thousand years ago they might have been doing it on animal skins too, a lot.
00:52:25.000 You know?
00:52:27.000 That's crazy.
00:52:28.000 You know, like the Dead Sea Scrolls, that shit was all written on animal skins.
00:52:31.000 Those motherfuckers didn't even know paper.
00:52:34.000 They didn't even have paper back then.
00:52:36.000 There could be a Dead Sea Scroll on a fucking turtle right now.
00:52:39.000 Yeah, attached to one.
00:52:41.000 I know.
00:52:41.000 I wish I knew for sure who's telling the truth about the Dead Sea Scrolls.
00:52:48.000 Because I don't have enough time to learn ancient Hebrew or Aramaic and go back and read the Dead Sea Scrolls and decipher it for myself.
00:52:55.000 But there's all this dispute on what the Dead Sea Scrolls actually mean.
00:52:58.000 And some people say that it contains all kinds of nutty shit like fucking...
00:53:03.000 UFOs and flying saucers.
00:53:05.000 I mean, there's guys who have deciphered Dead Sea Scrolls.
00:53:08.000 Like the John Marco Allegro guy says it's all about mushrooms.
00:53:11.000 He said all it was about was them eating the Amanita muscaria mushroom and fertility rituals.
00:53:16.000 And he breaks it all down, like the origins of the words.
00:53:19.000 But people argue against him and I don't know who's right.
00:53:23.000 It's too complex.
00:53:24.000 They should have a fucking live thing on ABC, where all the best scientists on the planet, all the best linguists, they get together.
00:53:31.000 that should be important let's decipher this shit in front of the world live satellite feed from fucking France Allegro I believe Allegro passed away the guy who wrote that book but he was the he was the one of the head guys deciphering He worked on it for 14 years, and he was the only agnostic in the group.
00:53:50.000 You know, they had a bunch of people that were all ordained ministers, and they were the decipherers, and they were all religious people.
00:53:55.000 And he started out a religious person, but when he started studying theology, he realized somewhere along the line, this is obviously bullshit, and he just became agnostic.
00:54:03.000 So he looked at the whole picture completely.
00:54:06.000 Absolutely different than all the other guys.
00:54:07.000 They all refuted his findings.
00:54:10.000 But there's a lot of people that say he's right.
00:54:12.000 A lot of people that say that he was the head scholar.
00:54:14.000 He was the number one dude and he was the guy who had it all right.
00:54:17.000 He was the guy who was looking at it objectively and everybody else was looking at it with a religious slam.
00:54:22.000 This fucking guy thinks it was all about mushrooms.
00:54:24.000 It was all about psychedelic mushrooms.
00:54:26.000 That they would hide these mushrooms from the Romans.
00:54:29.000 And they would hide what the magic and what the mushrooms can do.
00:54:33.000 And the way they hid it from them is in stories.
00:54:35.000 And they didn't even write it down for like a thousand years.
00:54:37.000 They just told each other as a story for a thousand years.
00:54:40.000 So it just became all fucked up.
00:54:42.000 And so he breaks down like ancient words.
00:54:45.000 He broke down the word Christ.
00:54:47.000 He brought it back to an ancient Sumerian word that means a mushroom covered in God's semen.
00:54:54.000 Nice.
00:54:54.000 Because when they thought it was raining, they thought God was coming on the earth.
00:54:59.000 That's why things would come up on the earth.
00:55:01.000 Like come wasn't bad to them.
00:55:03.000 So, like, when God would reign, and he was coming on the earth, these mushrooms would just appear because they didn't have microscopes.
00:55:10.000 They didn't know what a fucking spore is.
00:55:12.000 They couldn't see microscopic things.
00:55:14.000 So they didn't see any seed or anything, and all of a sudden, these big mushrooms appear, like, the next day.
00:55:19.000 They grow quick, and then they start eating them, and they trip their fucking balls out.
00:55:23.000 They don't want anybody else to know about this.
00:55:25.000 So they tried to hide this information.
00:55:27.000 They were told, oh, they were keeping it from their enemies.
00:55:31.000 Wow.
00:55:31.000 Isn't that nuts?
00:55:32.000 God jerking off.
00:55:33.000 Isn't that?
00:55:34.000 That's how they used to look at him.
00:55:35.000 Or did he pull out of like some goddess?
00:55:37.000 Maybe.
00:55:38.000 He pulled out.
00:55:40.000 He came somehow.
00:55:42.000 Dude, you've got to think about this.
00:55:44.000 Like daddy.
00:55:46.000 You've got to think about this.
00:55:47.000 If it feels so good to have a baby right now, think about how good it feels to have a baby right now.
00:55:52.000 It's an amazing, incredible feeling.
00:55:54.000 But most babies now, they live.
00:55:58.000 They live to be grown-ups.
00:55:59.000 They go to be adults.
00:56:01.000 You don't have to worry about them getting eaten by lions.
00:56:04.000 You don't have to worry about plague.
00:56:05.000 But the people that lived back then had the same love for their kids as we do now.
00:56:10.000 But they couldn't help it.
00:56:12.000 So people were dying left and right.
00:56:14.000 There's nothing you can do to stop it.
00:56:16.000 That must have been nuts, man.
00:56:19.000 That must have been fucking horrifying.
00:56:21.000 You have kids that just died.
00:56:23.000 That must be why they had all these rituals.
00:56:27.000 Fertility rituals are so important.
00:56:29.000 They wanted to have as many kids as possible.
00:56:30.000 They wanted a mortality rate for children.
00:56:34.000 Roman times is 50%.
00:56:35.000 Half the people die.
00:56:38.000 Half the kids die.
00:56:38.000 God damn.
00:56:39.000 Before what?
00:56:41.000 It's probably like adulthood.
00:56:43.000 I guess.
00:56:43.000 I don't think that makes sense.
00:56:45.000 Only half of them make it to adulthood.
00:56:48.000 It's so fucked up.
00:56:49.000 It's a mission.
00:56:51.000 That was on Discovery, so I don't know the History Channel.
00:56:55.000 Don't quote me on that.
00:56:56.000 Oh no, that makes sense.
00:56:57.000 But I remember that.
00:56:58.000 Look, even if it wasn't 50%, it had to be a high number.
00:57:01.000 I mean, they just didn't have...
00:57:02.000 You guys, can someone check that?
00:57:04.000 Mortality rate, enrollment times?
00:57:05.000 Google that shit, son.
00:57:06.000 I think it's 50%.
00:57:07.000 Could be wrong.
00:57:09.000 Dude, I've had two major surgeries.
00:57:11.000 Both my knees reconstructed.
00:57:13.000 Both ACLs.
00:57:14.000 And one more minor surgery, my meniscus surgery on my knee.
00:57:18.000 But if I lived, you know, a thousand years ago, I'd be fucked, man.
00:57:21.000 I'd be fucked.
00:57:23.000 You wouldn't be doing jiu-jitsu, so that wouldn't have happened.
00:57:25.000 You wouldn't have been playing softball.
00:57:28.000 But it could have happened anyway.
00:57:30.000 People do it working.
00:57:31.000 You wouldn't have been a softball champion.
00:57:35.000 Softball.
00:57:36.000 I smashed my knee.
00:57:37.000 Can you imagine?
00:57:39.000 There's guys out there that are fucking champions in softball.
00:57:43.000 Like, they're the fucking Mark McGuire of softball.
00:57:47.000 There's guys out there.
00:57:48.000 Who is the Softball.
00:57:55.000 How accurate can you be when you whip that fucking thing around?
00:57:58.000 They are.
00:57:58.000 It looks dope.
00:57:59.000 That's nuts.
00:58:00.000 Them chicks.
00:58:01.000 Yeah.
00:58:01.000 I don't think I've ever seen a chick throw that hard regular.
00:58:06.000 Have you ever seen a chick throw that hard regular?
00:58:08.000 No, it's clearly the right way to do it.
00:58:09.000 Yeah, why do they throw underneath?
00:58:12.000 That's like...
00:58:13.000 You know, it's like breaking the balls in the pool.
00:58:16.000 You know how you try to break the balls really hard?
00:58:18.000 But if you watch a little person, they have a loose wrist and they just SMASH! There's like a timing to it where they just know exactly how to put their weight into it.
00:58:29.000 Isn't it weird?
00:58:30.000 Jujutsu is such a strange thing when it comes to techniques.
00:58:32.000 It's like the more you do techniques, the more those techniques just become ingrained in the way your body moves.
00:58:38.000 Your body just gets real good at the movement.
00:58:41.000 So he teached your body movements.
00:58:43.000 What did you think of Jake Shields' control all night?
00:58:44.000 Fucking incredible!
00:58:45.000 Jake Shields is a natural 170 pounder.
00:58:48.000 And Dan Henderson's a monster.
00:58:50.000 Dude, he took...
00:58:51.000 First of all, I'm just impressed as fuck that he survived that first round.
00:58:55.000 That first round, he got face-planted.
00:58:58.000 He got blasted like Henderson hit him on the bottom.
00:59:01.000 You had it here?
00:59:01.000 No, I erased it.
00:59:03.000 I erased it.
00:59:05.000 Henderson hit him on the bottom.
00:59:06.000 You erased it?
00:59:07.000 Yeah, I erased it.
00:59:12.000 We'll watch that clip.
00:59:15.000 But, uh, Henderson faceplant, uh, faceplants, uh, shields.
00:59:19.000 Yeah, he just had to blindly die for a leg.
00:59:22.000 Dude, he got cracked.
00:59:24.000 And then Henderson hits him again with a hard uppercut, dude.
00:59:27.000 And he goes down again.
00:59:28.000 He got fucked up in that first round.
00:59:30.000 He's always got a chance.
00:59:31.000 But then he came on strong in the second round, and Henderson started to fade a little bit.
00:59:36.000 And Jake Shields started taking him down, fucking controlling him.
00:59:39.000 They were saying that Henderson's been having problems with his back.
00:59:42.000 So, you know, he looked kind of stiff.
00:59:45.000 That could have been what's going on.
00:59:46.000 It could have been why he couldn't stuff the takedown.
00:59:48.000 But, man, Shields looked good.
00:59:50.000 Total control.
00:59:51.000 Mounting him.
00:59:52.000 Just mounting him over and over again.
00:59:54.000 And Henderson could not shake him.
00:59:56.000 Couldn't finish them.
00:59:58.000 And never went for one arm bar.
01:00:00.000 That's it.
01:00:00.000 It's 420.
01:00:01.000 It is 420.
01:00:03.000 4.20.
01:00:03.000 Ridiculous.
01:00:04.000 Oh my goodness.
01:00:06.000 I am high.
01:00:07.000 Yeah, this is ridiculous.
01:00:08.000 You're not supposed to get this high.
01:00:10.000 I think 4.20 is time to order pizza.
01:00:12.000 No.
01:00:12.000 What do you think?
01:00:13.000 Can me and Ori order pizza and you just give us that address?
01:00:15.000 We'll do it at the end.
01:00:16.000 We'll do it at the end, man.
01:00:17.000 This is a TV show.
01:00:18.000 No, it just takes a...
01:00:19.000 They don't give a shit.
01:00:20.000 They do, though.
01:00:21.000 There's people listening to this on iTunes, too.
01:00:23.000 At this point in time, they're already like...
01:00:25.000 Are we allowed to eat pizza?
01:00:27.000 I bet no one says no.
01:00:28.000 I think this is a good idea.
01:00:30.000 They're all like, yeah, yeah.
01:00:32.000 They're all looking at it.
01:00:32.000 Read.
01:00:33.000 Yeah, dude, go for it.
01:00:35.000 Okay, sick news slides.
01:00:36.000 Yeah, I'm a good sucker.
01:00:37.000 Oh, shit.
01:00:38.000 No sardines, please.
01:00:42.000 Fuck yeah!
01:00:43.000 You can't even read, son.
01:00:45.000 Look!
01:00:46.000 More pizza!
01:00:47.000 More pizza!
01:00:48.000 Pizza for everyone!
01:00:50.000 Eyeballs fixed.
01:00:52.000 Hey, how come you haven't gotten an operation that your eyeball's fixed?
01:00:55.000 See?
01:00:55.000 No pizza!
01:00:56.000 Fuck you!
01:00:57.000 Fuck you, Appy387!
01:01:01.000 How come you haven't got your eyeballs fixed?
01:01:03.000 Are you scared of that?
01:01:05.000 No, I'm not scared at all.
01:01:06.000 I just haven't done it.
01:01:08.000 Would you want to do it though?
01:01:09.000 Yeah.
01:01:10.000 What about you?
01:01:11.000 The contacts are just so easy.
01:01:14.000 I don't even know where they're at.
01:01:15.000 I never even got contacts.
01:01:16.000 Sometimes I leave my contacts in for like three or four days and shit.
01:01:19.000 I don't think you're supposed to.
01:01:21.000 But don't you want to get them fixed though?
01:01:22.000 Would you like to not have the contacts?
01:01:27.000 It's incredible.
01:01:27.000 All you have to do is put these little things in your eye and now you can see better.
01:01:31.000 Yeah, I see fine.
01:01:32.000 How nutty is that?
01:01:33.000 I mean, seeing is so fucking important.
01:01:36.000 And you can fix it with a little piece of plastic.
01:01:38.000 How did they figure that shit out?
01:01:40.000 How did they figure out contacts?
01:01:41.000 Someone figure that out.
01:01:42.000 That's incredible.
01:01:43.000 That's incredible.
01:01:45.000 That might be one of the coolest inventions of all time.
01:01:46.000 I want to see a documentary.
01:01:48.000 Dude, it's nuts.
01:01:49.000 All the shit that people can do right now.
01:01:52.000 Think about all the shit that people can do right now.
01:01:54.000 It's getting so nutty.
01:01:56.000 It's getting so crazy.
01:01:59.000 What the fuck is going to be the next big thing?
01:02:01.000 Because no one saw the internet coming.
01:02:04.000 No one ever thought it was going to affect people the way it's affecting the human race right now.
01:02:09.000 Because if they did, they would have never let it get out.
01:02:11.000 No corporations would have ever wanted the internet.
01:02:14.000 It's too tricky.
01:02:15.000 It's too hard to control.
01:02:18.000 It's too unpredictable.
01:02:19.000 What the fuck is going to be the next thing?
01:02:21.000 Because this isn't going to be the last thing.
01:02:23.000 You don't think the internet, that's it?
01:02:28.000 It's gotta be like, first it's gonna be like hologram laptops where you're just gonna need like maybe a little, little block and then it just blows up or something.
01:02:37.000 No processes in your brain.
01:02:39.000 I think it's gonna be neural implants.
01:02:41.000 Just thinking it happens.
01:02:42.000 I think it's gonna be neural implants or the other idea that I have was not a neural implant but that they figure out the frequency of your brain.
01:02:50.000 Like what if they get your brain to work like a Wi-Fi signal?
01:02:53.000 Like what if your brain, like obviously, you know, Input comes into your brain in the form of hearing things and seeing things and these electrical impulses or however the hell sight and sound is created and how you represent that stuff in your head.
01:03:07.000 Those are like signals that are coming in from your eyes, from your organs.
01:03:11.000 What if there's a way to get that signal out into the air?
01:03:16.000 So instead of it having to be directly input into your brain with sight signals and with the signals that your ear is giving, what if there's a way to tune the whole mind like a Wi-Fi with some sort of a neural implant or something that activates a certain portion of the brain and literally allows your brain to tune in to everyone else's brain?
01:03:41.000 Like we all share a giant hard drive.
01:03:44.000 Yeah.
01:03:45.000 Like that totally seems possible.
01:03:47.000 It seems to me like they're just, they just have to figure out how that would work and what kind of a frequency that would operate under.
01:03:53.000 But if they can, they can introduce all sorts of things into people's brains.
01:03:57.000 This guy, they did an operation on him and they stimulated a part of his brain.
01:04:02.000 And he started...
01:04:04.000 I forget what they were trying to do.
01:04:06.000 This was an accident.
01:04:07.000 But in stimulating part of his brain, he started remembering shit from his childhood, like in graphic detail, like it was happening right there, right in front of him.
01:04:16.000 Like, they literally figured out how to charge and jumpstart your memories.
01:04:21.000 You know, if they could do shit like that...
01:04:24.000 They can introduce thoughts to people's minds.
01:04:26.000 They can read vision.
01:04:27.000 They can read vision now.
01:04:28.000 They can put little things on your head and you look at something and a computer will show an image of what you're looking at.
01:04:37.000 That's incredible.
01:04:38.000 It's insane.
01:04:38.000 I mean, not a good image.
01:04:40.000 They haven't figured it out good yet.
01:04:41.000 But if you read letters, you can see the letter A. Really?
01:04:44.000 Yes!
01:04:45.000 But not like pictures.
01:04:46.000 Not yet.
01:04:47.000 But dude, it's close, man.
01:04:49.000 Well, then they'll be able to figure out memories, too.
01:04:52.000 Exactly.
01:04:53.000 How do we rethink the world if we realize that memories are completely unpredictable?
01:05:01.000 That memories are so easy to scramble.
01:05:05.000 When you think about how much of human history was just written down and spoken on memories, how bad are memories?
01:05:12.000 Lately, when I get into an argument with somebody about something, some ways things happen, and they're like, no, I think something happened, and you're like, you know what?
01:05:18.000 We're just remembering it differently.
01:05:20.000 And I have no idea if I'm the one who's wrong or they are.
01:05:22.000 But it's like...
01:05:24.000 It's a good way to look at it, man.
01:05:25.000 And I'd like to say, no, no, no, you're remembering it wrong.
01:05:28.000 But it's like, why do I think I'm the one who's not them?
01:05:30.000 You gotta be real careful about that.
01:05:32.000 I went back to my town, where I grew up in, and I hadn't been here in like 10 years, and I remembered everything different, man.
01:05:39.000 I'll never forget that.
01:05:40.000 My house looked different.
01:05:42.000 The fucking street looked different.
01:05:43.000 I thought the staircase was on the That's weird.
01:05:49.000 I went to the place that I lived at when I was three in L.A., an apartment, and my dad got my mom.
01:05:54.000 It was exactly like that.
01:05:56.000 Really?
01:05:57.000 Yeah.
01:05:57.000 I was shocked.
01:05:58.000 Different memories go different ways.
01:05:59.000 Some places change, though.
01:06:00.000 Some places do change.
01:06:01.000 They might knock down a building and change shit around.
01:06:04.000 You don't know.
01:06:04.000 That building was exactly the same.
01:06:06.000 How old were you when you remembered it?
01:06:08.000 I got like...
01:06:11.000 Maybe four images from three.
01:06:14.000 That's incredible.
01:06:14.000 You know what I mean?
01:06:15.000 The way the street looked there, you know, the Safeway.
01:06:17.000 I remember that Safeway used to be there.
01:06:19.000 I feel like at this time, you're just remembering having remembered.
01:06:22.000 You know?
01:06:23.000 So you're I think that's very important.
01:06:28.000 You remember your memory of the memory.
01:06:31.000 Yeah, I don't even think I have those original old memories before.
01:06:33.000 I just remember thinking about it.
01:06:35.000 And then one little thing can throw you off and then it shifts your idea of, oh no, that's not what happened.
01:06:40.000 Oh wait, no, no, no, this happened.
01:06:42.000 And then all of a sudden you see it better.
01:06:43.000 But you were just committed to the way you saw it ten seconds ago and it was the incorrect way.
01:06:47.000 It's not fucking reliable enough.
01:06:50.000 It's what I was thinking before about the reason why turtles live to be a thousand years and people only live to be a hundred.
01:06:57.000 I don't think you can keep our purpose going and keep us living.
01:07:02.000 Because the way society seems to work best is that people don't live long enough to figure out that it's all bullshit.
01:07:08.000 Because if they do, then chaos, restructuring, everything goes to a different way, and that's not the way that humans are going right now.
01:07:17.000 The way we're going is like some sort of a global domination thing, some sort of a technological singularity thing.
01:07:23.000 We're moving further and further and further.
01:07:25.000 If we were able to step back and, as a culture, get old enough to realize how silly that all is, and realize how much better life would be if we all just Relaxed and shared resources and be nice to each other and treat the world as if we're friends and work this all out together.
01:07:41.000 But nothing would ever get done.
01:07:42.000 Things get done because people are competing.
01:07:44.000 When people are competing, people hate the other people they're competing against.
01:07:47.000 Whether it's countries or companies or political parties or anything.
01:07:50.000 So, when that kind of shit happens, that competition is why we make newer and better things.
01:07:56.000 If there was no competition like that, there wouldn't be the pressure to be the best at everything.
01:08:00.000 If you didn't hate the other people, there wouldn't be this pressure to dominate them and crush them.
01:08:05.000 Can we live in a world like the Amazon Indians?
01:08:09.000 Can the whole world live like that?
01:08:10.000 Well, there's a reason why those dudes are still running around with fucking pieces of animal flesh covering their dick.
01:08:17.000 Maybe it is.
01:08:19.000 It's certainly an alternative.
01:08:20.000 But I think we have to look at human nature as being natural.
01:08:24.000 And I think that if we look at everything else as being natural, if we look at the way wolves behave and the way monkeys behave, we look at their simple lives as being natural.
01:08:33.000 Why don't we look at the course of humanity as being natural?
01:08:37.000 We're pretending that it's something that we all consciously control.
01:08:40.000 But if we do, why is it so fucked up still?
01:08:43.000 Why is there so much political corruption when we know there's so much political corruption?
01:08:47.000 Why are we still going to war when we know that wars are ridiculous and that they're only ways for profit?
01:08:53.000 Why do we keep continuing along the same lines even though rationally we must know at a certain point in time this is an insane way to live?
01:09:01.000 Well, maybe it's because that's just the way people live.
01:09:03.000 That's what people do.
01:09:05.000 That we're moving towards, that this behavior pushes us towards something.
01:09:11.000 It pushes us.
01:09:15.000 Something.
01:09:16.000 Some end of humanity.
01:09:18.000 We're all in our little worlds thinking it's all about us, but meanwhile, whatever's going on, you're just producing an energy that needs to collectively do something in the world or something.
01:09:30.000 We've got our little lives.
01:09:31.000 And it goes to what Ari was saying about the parasite.
01:09:35.000 Like, think about that.
01:09:36.000 Think about the animal that this parasite lives in.
01:09:38.000 The animal this parasite lives in has no fucking idea.
01:09:41.000 You know?
01:09:42.000 They have no idea.
01:09:43.000 No idea.
01:09:43.000 Not aware of existence at all.
01:09:45.000 I mean, the rat has no idea.
01:09:47.000 The cat has no idea when it eats the rat.
01:09:49.000 I mean, the whole thing is bananas.
01:09:51.000 It's bananas.
01:09:52.000 And it's all interconnected.
01:09:55.000 Is it possible to make those crazy cat ladies, too?
01:09:57.000 Because a few people aren't immune to the fucking parasite.
01:10:01.000 Well, maybe.
01:10:04.000 There is a certain cat parasite that has infected a tremendous amount of the female population in Brazil and a bunch of other countries.
01:10:13.000 And this is an actual parasite that makes women more docile.
01:10:20.000 Yeah, it's probably the same thing.
01:10:22.000 It's probably something about it.
01:10:24.000 No fear.
01:10:24.000 I have to look that up because I remember that it does something.
01:10:28.000 Yeah, but they make some daxile.
01:10:29.000 We should fucking ice for me.
01:10:30.000 Market that shit.
01:10:31.000 I know, right?
01:10:32.000 I think that's why women in Brazil, I have to find this.
01:10:36.000 I have to Google this right now.
01:10:37.000 This is too strange.
01:10:39.000 I have to find this out because I can't remember what it was when I read it.
01:10:50.000 Parasite in Brazil.
01:10:52.000 Cats, women.
01:10:53.000 I gotta find this fucking article.
01:10:54.000 Mood-altering cat parasites make women friendly.
01:10:57.000 And men into jerks.
01:10:59.000 Dude!
01:11:00.000 That's Brazil!
01:11:01.000 And men into jerks?
01:11:02.000 I mean, think about how many really friendly girls come from Brazil and how many super aggressive dudes.
01:11:09.000 That's hilarious.
01:11:10.000 Yeah?
01:11:11.000 If you look up, Google what I looked up, you come up with quite a few articles about it.
01:11:18.000 It's a parasite that causes rats to sacrifice themselves to cats, may also change human behavior, making women more outgoing and warm-hearted, and men more jealous and suspicious.
01:11:29.000 The toxoplasma protist is shed in cat feces, which are then eaten by rats.
01:11:37.000 Infected rats become fearless in the presence of cats, which makes them easier to catch, which in turn spreads the disease to new cats.
01:11:45.000 Holy shit.
01:11:47.000 It makes women nicer.
01:11:48.000 It makes men douchebags.
01:11:50.000 That's hilarious.
01:11:51.000 Nature is totally rooting against us.
01:11:54.000 They're finding new ways to keep us How crazy is that, man?
01:11:59.000 How crazy is that?
01:11:59.000 Because men who are more douchey are more likely to fuck a bunch of different women and impregnate them, like fuck their friends, women, you know what I'm saying?
01:12:09.000 The more douchey the guy is, the more he's going to do creepy shit to go get laid.
01:12:13.000 So the more likely that's going to make accidental babies all over the place.
01:12:17.000 It's going to keep spreading.
01:12:18.000 - Yeah, maybe nature likes douchebags. - Well, it goes back to what I said.
01:12:25.000 It's almost like you don't really achieve unless there's competition.
01:12:30.000 And competition doesn't really mean anything unless it's competition like primal.
01:12:35.000 A man who hates you.
01:12:36.000 You hate him and he hates you.
01:12:37.000 And it really forces you to work hard.
01:12:40.000 That's why companies fucking hate each other.
01:12:42.000 Companies that compete against each other are rarely friendly.
01:12:45.000 They fucking hate each other.
01:12:47.000 Maybe they're supposed to.
01:12:48.000 Maybe that's the most efficient way to get things done.
01:12:51.000 You have to light a fire under someone's ass in order to get the most productivity out of them.
01:12:54.000 Hate equals productivity.
01:12:56.000 Yeah, it's like, your life would certainly be better off if you didn't have that, you know, that aspect to you, but you wouldn't be as successful if you didn't have that aspect to you either.
01:13:05.000 So, uh, fucked up shit, like war, you know, that's how it's supposed to happen.
01:13:13.000 That's a terrible conclusion.
01:13:15.000 It's a terrible conclusion, but it might be that everything we do is the way we're supposed to do it.
01:13:22.000 There you have it, jealous for war.
01:13:24.000 It's not that I want to do it, but someone's going to do it.
01:13:29.000 It's just the way they've been doing business forever.
01:13:33.000 It's going to take way too long for that to settle down.
01:13:35.000 All these people that promise that they're not going to have war anymore.
01:13:38.000 Like, look at Obama.
01:13:40.000 He promised that he was going to stop all this.
01:13:41.000 He's going to pull people out.
01:13:43.000 More people in.
01:13:44.000 Just more in than ever.
01:13:46.000 Remember how George Bush made fun of him playing golf?
01:13:50.000 Yeah.
01:13:50.000 They said Obama has already played more golf than George Bush has in, like, I think his first term.
01:13:56.000 Wow.
01:13:57.000 Within his first year.
01:13:58.000 He's played 32 times.
01:13:59.000 They said George Bush played 28.
01:14:00.000 And he cut a lot of flack for 28 times.
01:14:02.000 Obama's a very smart guy.
01:14:05.000 Very good speaker.
01:14:06.000 That's really all I have to say about him.
01:14:10.000 Other than that, I'm not seeing anything different.
01:14:13.000 He's not doing any of the things he said he would do.
01:14:16.000 You know?
01:14:16.000 I don't know about the stimulus package.
01:14:18.000 I don't know what's going to really happen with that.
01:14:20.000 How come you haven't looked into that shit?
01:14:22.000 Because it's too fucking complicated.
01:14:23.000 Did you look into healthcare?
01:14:25.000 No.
01:14:26.000 Did you?
01:14:27.000 Nah.
01:14:32.000 Well, my problem with all this stuff is where do I put my attention?
01:14:39.000 How much time do I have in a day?
01:14:41.000 What do I want to think about?
01:14:42.000 Do I want to concentrate on, oh, how are they fucking us?
01:14:45.000 Oh, you know, where's this more corruption coming in?
01:14:48.000 What is this?
01:14:53.000 That would be insane.
01:14:55.000 What's the latest on that?
01:14:56.000 If they do that, Ari and Eddie and myself are medical patients.
01:15:00.000 We are under California law.
01:15:02.000 We're all sick.
01:15:02.000 Yeah, we're all sick.
01:15:04.000 I have insomnia, lower back pain.
01:15:08.000 I've gotten injured, I have two surgeries on my knees.
01:15:10.000 It's all real.
01:15:12.000 And it's a nice calming agent for you during the day.
01:15:18.000 It's a perspective enhancer, right?
01:15:20.000 I just do it for the insomnia.
01:15:25.000 I say I don't smoke pot all the time.
01:15:26.000 I just smoke pot before I have sex, before I do comedy, before I write comedy, before I do jujitsu, before I know I'm going to eat something delicious.
01:15:34.000 So it's not all the time.
01:15:36.000 It's just before cool shit to make it better.
01:15:38.000 I almost feel like now whenever I'm like, oh, I'm going to go get a burrito or something, I'm like, oh, let me make this better.
01:15:43.000 Then I'll get the burrito.
01:15:45.000 The first time Eddie got me high, we went.
01:15:47.000 And got ice cream sundaes.
01:15:50.000 You went on stage that night and you were talking about how great that ice cream sundae was.
01:15:56.000 You couldn't believe it.
01:15:57.000 It was the greatest thing ever.
01:15:58.000 You wrote material about how good it took.
01:16:00.000 It was so good.
01:16:01.000 Well, right away, the material made more sense.
01:16:04.000 I could write material right there.
01:16:06.000 By the way, the Iron Sheik smoked weed only during his big fights.
01:16:13.000 Before all Hulk Hogan fights.
01:16:16.000 That's so crazy.
01:16:20.000 He likes smoking weed after he trains and after he wrestles.
01:16:27.000 Unless it's a big match, like Bob Backlund and all the Hulk Hogan.
01:16:30.000 He was always high during those matches.
01:16:33.000 He loves weed.
01:16:35.000 He knows a lot about weed.
01:16:36.000 Iron Sheik knows his shit.
01:16:38.000 I mean, he also knows a lot of other shit too, but...
01:16:42.000 The Iron Sheik is a pothead.
01:16:44.000 I got a fucking 45 minutes worth of interview with him.
01:16:48.000 I'm going to start posting little clips.
01:16:49.000 Where?
01:16:51.000 You weren't there when I told the story last night?
01:16:53.000 I walked in towards the end of it.
01:16:55.000 Oh, okay.
01:16:56.000 My buddy Danny calls me up and goes, dude, I'm going to fucking meet Iron Sheik right now.
01:17:01.000 How the fuck did that happen?
01:17:02.000 He goes, he's in town for like the comic book convention.
01:17:09.000 He goes, and I Twittered his manager and I asked his manager if I gave him 200 bucks, if he could He has for me.
01:17:18.000 He loves it.
01:17:18.000 He wants Iron Sheep to do his.
01:17:21.000 So the manager, you know, they need money.
01:17:24.000 The manager goes, come on down.
01:17:25.000 We're at this hotel.
01:17:27.000 And I go, oh shit.
01:17:28.000 And he goes, you want to roll?
01:17:29.000 I go, fuck yeah.
01:17:29.000 So he jumped in, went to the hotel.
01:17:33.000 But they were waiting outside.
01:17:34.000 And Danny pulled up and goes, fuck.
01:17:36.000 It looks like they're in a fucking big hurry because he was texting them.
01:17:38.000 Hurry up.
01:17:39.000 Where are you guys at?
01:17:39.000 We've got to go to the airport as fuck.
01:17:40.000 I wanted to give them 200 bucks to sit and rap with them and get a lot of shit.
01:17:44.000 You know, so, um, he said, fuck it, whatever, so let's do it really quick.
01:17:48.000 So he pulls into this hotel, Iron Cheek's like rude and shit.
01:17:52.000 He's like, oh, we gotta go to the airport, let's make this quick, let's make this quick.
01:17:55.000 Like, oh man, okay, whatever.
01:17:56.000 Unless you want to take me to the airport.
01:17:58.000 You know, like, will you drive me to the airport?
01:17:59.000 And we're like, yeah, yeah.
01:18:01.000 That way we get him for fucking 40 minutes, man.
01:18:03.000 So we gotta, we had him in the You should make a documentary.
01:18:10.000 How many minutes do you have?
01:18:11.000 It's like 45 minutes of classic shit.
01:18:13.000 Just take the whole 45 minutes, let's put it online in one chunk.
01:18:16.000 Yeah, definitely.
01:18:17.000 Like a documentary.
01:18:19.000 I want to see every minute of that.
01:18:21.000 There's certain pieces that need to be cut to make them funnier.
01:18:27.000 Really?
01:18:27.000 Yeah, yeah, because we did a lot of cool.
01:18:30.000 Because he gets paid.
01:18:31.000 He's like a super villain.
01:18:33.000 It's like almost 70. And you just say, okay, say...
01:18:35.000 And his manager, who's his nephew, will say, he barely speaks English.
01:18:39.000 His English ain't that great.
01:18:41.000 And Danny knows all these rock stars.
01:18:43.000 And he goes...
01:18:47.000 And then his man goes, yeah, bring him down, set him up, and then take him home.
01:18:51.000 And it's like these code words.
01:18:53.000 It's on the video.
01:18:54.000 I forget where it is.
01:18:56.000 Slam him, take him home, and then glaze him at the end.
01:18:58.000 Or some weird lingo.
01:19:00.000 So then he goes, okay, Tommy Lee.
01:19:02.000 Fuck Tommy Lee.
01:19:04.000 Fuck that man That's some big boobs I fuck I am the Sheik All camel clutch And Tommy Lee So he was made He was just saying All these names So he wants to cut them off And like send these guys The messages Like here's our Sheik Talking loud shit And it's always, fuck you in the ass!
01:19:19.000 Would you look at me, Clutch?
01:19:21.000 Fuck your mother!
01:19:23.000 Disrespect.
01:19:25.000 You would be humble.
01:19:26.000 Thank you.
01:19:27.000 It's like he's got his, that's how he makes his money.
01:19:29.000 Give me some money.
01:19:30.000 I'll say, who do you want me to say?
01:19:32.000 What is his personality like outside of that?
01:19:37.000 Like a nice guy?
01:19:38.000 So he's not like that all the time?
01:19:41.000 Man, you gotta see the clip.
01:19:44.000 Damn, he's teasing us!
01:19:45.000 I got it!
01:19:45.000 I got it!
01:19:46.000 You can see it?
01:19:48.000 We'll put it online later.
01:19:50.000 That's hilarious, man.
01:19:51.000 That's one of those dudes that I would love to meet.
01:19:53.000 When I met Hulk Hogan, I was like, holy shit, I'm just here talking to Hulk Hogan.
01:19:57.000 You know, like when I had to do that interview with him, and he's like, "Brother, you know, we're getting fired up at TNA, brother." And I'm like, "God damn, I'm talking to Hulk fucking Hogan." Dude, Iron Sheet was probably all-time number one villain ever.
01:20:09.000 Think about it.
01:20:10.000 What was bigger than Iron Sheep?
01:20:12.000 He wasn't really a villain.
01:20:14.000 He was good.
01:20:16.000 He was like half villain.
01:20:18.000 Iron Sheep was fucking evil, dude.
01:20:21.000 He was Iranian.
01:20:22.000 We're going nuclear war type shit.
01:20:24.000 That was deep.
01:20:26.000 There wasn't another crazier villain than him.
01:20:29.000 He's not a king.
01:20:29.000 He can barely walk.
01:20:31.000 All those guys got really badly hurt from wrestling.
01:20:36.000 Ventura very fucked uh Jason Ventura is hip replaced he talks shit on Jake's thing Jake the Snake Roberts he crushes him I want to get dirt from all the rest of his talking about Hulk Hogan Oh man, he's...
01:20:49.000 He's...
01:20:51.000 Man.
01:20:53.000 Those guys all have to get operated on.
01:20:55.000 They all have to get operated on.
01:20:56.000 That's a tough, tough life.
01:20:58.000 Such a tough life.
01:21:00.000 To do that every night.
01:21:02.000 What they're doing is nutty shit, man.
01:21:04.000 Flying out of turnbuckles.
01:21:05.000 He talks about Draco Vino.
01:21:07.000 How does he know Draco Vino?
01:21:09.000 He just does.
01:21:11.000 What does Draco Vino know?
01:21:12.000 You'll see.
01:21:14.000 You'll see.
01:21:15.000 So Draco Vino is this guy who said things that weren't very nice about Eddie Bravo.
01:21:24.000 What did he say?
01:21:26.000 Did he brush your teeth in the morning?
01:21:28.000 No.
01:21:29.000 He started the interview.
01:21:31.000 They asked him.
01:21:32.000 Some guy is interviewing him.
01:21:33.000 He's this jujitsu legend.
01:21:36.000 and some guys interview him and says, the video starts on the Eddie Bravo section.
01:21:41.000 It's got like Draculino on the Gi, Draculino on world champions, Draculino on training.
01:21:48.000 And then they got the Eddie Bravo section.
01:21:49.000 This guy's the champion, Draculino.
01:21:51.000 I guess.
01:21:52.000 I mean, I always heard about him.
01:21:54.000 I always knew about him.
01:21:55.000 I never knew what he looked like until I saw the video.
01:21:56.000 I would have never recognized him.
01:21:58.000 But he's supposed to be one of the very highly regarded.
01:22:00.000 Yeah, one of the best guys at Baja Gracie.
01:22:02.000 Older guy now, probably 40-something.
01:22:04.000 And the video starts off.
01:22:08.000 What do you think of Eddie Bravo?
01:22:09.000 And then he goes, who, Johnny Bravo?
01:22:11.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Johnny Bravo, oh, Johnny Bravo, like, he's just like, oh, yeah, you really thought he said Johnny Bravo, like, like, that's even funny, you know, and then immediately it starts off with just a bunch of backhanded compliments, like, like, oh, yeah, he's got some good positions, oh, and then immediately it starts off with just a bunch Oh yeah, but Nino already had a high guard.
01:22:32.000 He was basically saying that Nino had my style of guard first.
01:22:38.000 When me and Nino's style of guards are totally different.
01:22:41.000 They're nothing...
01:22:43.000 They're very different.
01:22:46.000 I mean, we both play...
01:22:47.000 You know, we do romoblatas and stuff, and I got the gooblatas from him.
01:22:50.000 But the actual style of our guards is very different.
01:22:54.000 And obviously he doesn't know that.
01:22:56.000 He hasn't really paid attention good enough to know the difference.
01:23:00.000 Big fucking difference.
01:23:02.000 And then he says other stuff like...
01:23:04.000 It's just a bunch of backhanded compliments.
01:23:09.000 It wasn't very...
01:23:10.000 But I thought it was hilarious.
01:23:12.000 And so the Sheik knew about that?
01:23:14.000 Huh?
01:23:15.000 So the Sheik knew about that?
01:23:16.000 Oh, I don't know.
01:23:17.000 I don't know.
01:23:18.000 He said a lot of good things about me.
01:23:19.000 Thanks, man.
01:23:23.000 It's rotten little said cool shit about me.
01:23:25.000 Yeah.
01:23:25.000 He likes me.
01:23:27.000 I really can't say anything bad about Draculino.
01:23:29.000 I mean, I don't even fucking know him.
01:23:31.000 Well, you know what, man?
01:23:32.000 I think there's a lot of people that don't know you and you have a polarizing effect because you're so controversial because just, I mean, the way you look, the way you act, you know, your behavior is very controversial.
01:23:47.000 You know, you think about like most jiu-jitsu people, jiu-jitsu instructors, they're not like these wild musician motherfuckers, you know, that come up with Jujitsu moves because they're high on weed.
01:23:58.000 That fucks up with their whole dynamic, their whole view of what Jujitsu is.
01:24:04.000 Because a lot of dudes don't know you, I think that's where the controversy comes in.
01:24:09.000 But if they got to know you, they'd realize...
01:24:11.000 That you're just a completely open-minded dude who's willing to accept techniques from anywhere and gives people credit all the time.
01:24:17.000 And you invent moves or you teach moves based on people's names, you know, like the doodah or different techniques that you've got, the Jean-Jacques suite, that you've got from each individual.
01:24:28.000 You give them all credit.
01:24:29.000 They just don't, they don't know.
01:24:31.000 They see you getting all this credit for this, you know, revolutionary type of guard, and so they just assume that it's all bullshit, that it's all overhyped.
01:24:38.000 When really it's not.
01:24:39.000 It's not overhyped.
01:24:40.000 You got some weird, wild shit.
01:24:42.000 You put it together in like a real system.
01:24:44.000 You know, and it's very legit.
01:24:46.000 And it's very unusual.
01:24:48.000 And you're willing to talk to anybody and have them fuck with it and come up with their own stuff.
01:24:52.000 I mean, look at all the different things that you've added from your students.
01:24:55.000 Look at all the moves from Edwin's stuff.
01:24:58.000 You know, how you start incorporating that in the class.
01:25:01.000 You know, all sorts of different shit.
01:25:03.000 The Japanese necktimes, you're always, you know, adding, whenever there's a new thing, you're always adding it and always giving the person credit who created it.
01:25:11.000 That's one thing, that's probably the one thing that the biggest misconception, the biggest...
01:25:18.000 Is that you take credit for things, yeah.
01:25:20.000 Yeah, is that I take moves and I change the names and then I pretend like I made them up and I put a whole new name on it.
01:25:30.000 Like there's a lot of people out there that think that and that's like kind of true or like not really sort of 50. It's totally the opposite.
01:25:39.000 It's the opposite.
01:25:39.000 I give everybody fucking crap.
01:25:41.000 Well, like the twister, you know, when you first started doing the twister and started wrestling with the guillotine.
01:25:45.000 Yeah, that was the big thing because I never called it the twister.
01:25:48.000 It was the wrestler's guillotine to me, but the guillotine was already taken.
01:25:51.000 It was he when they called it the twister, right?
01:25:52.000 And Jean Jacques.
01:25:53.000 The guillotine was already taken in jiu-jitsu and submission grappling and all that shit.
01:25:58.000 So when I would call it the guillotine, the Brazilians just called it the twister and it stuck after a while.
01:26:03.000 So a lot of people think, like wrestlers go, yeah, I did that in high school, man!
01:26:07.000 I'm like, yeah, you gotta know the story.
01:26:09.000 So real quick, it's easy to convince those guys if they ask about it.
01:26:14.000 They're like, what's up with this Twister thing?
01:26:16.000 You know, that's a guillotine in wrestling.
01:26:18.000 They go, yeah, yeah, he's got a bunch of moves like that, dude.
01:26:20.000 He just changed his names.
01:26:21.000 And then real quick, now I gotta dig myself out of a deep hole with a lot of people like that.
01:26:28.000 The total opposite misconception that I take wounds and steal them.
01:26:31.000 It's not like I did it for a while and then I had to stop and slow down and change my ways.
01:26:36.000 From day one, my first book, I give everyone credit.
01:26:40.000 My first book, Marcelo, Silverado, Duda.
01:26:47.000 When people learn techniques from someone else and I know them personally and I know where they got the move from and then they start showing it to someone and they don't bring up the person that taught them.
01:26:55.000 That offends me.
01:26:56.000 I don't always remember to bring up names but I try to as much as I can.
01:27:01.000 Can you think of Jiu Jitsu moves as like a creative thing that you're adding to like one big gigantic piece of artwork?
01:27:07.000 The martial art itself, like when you invent a new technique, like you invent some new sweep or some new way to set up a gogoplata, and then you add it to the jiu-jitsu language.
01:27:17.000 Do you feel like that's what it is?
01:27:18.000 It's almost like you feel like it's a piece of art.
01:27:21.000 It's something that you're creating, and people don't give you credit for creating that, and then people are out there doing it.
01:27:30.000 Yeah, that's fine.
01:27:31.000 He wants me to do it.
01:27:31.000 That's the thing.
01:27:32.000 Anybody who's doing his shit, he supports.
01:27:34.000 Even like Aoki, you'd love that guy out there doing your shit.
01:27:38.000 You're supporting him.
01:27:39.000 Yeah, totally.
01:27:40.000 I mean, I'm human.
01:27:42.000 I want, you know, if someone learns some shit directly from me or my books or anything, the right thing to do is give credit.
01:27:51.000 That's the right thing.
01:27:55.000 Whoever you learned a technique from, you got to give them credit.
01:27:58.000 You got to.
01:27:59.000 If you don't, you're a douchebag.
01:28:00.000 It doesn't take away from what you did at all.
01:28:03.000 People think that somehow or another you teaching a guy a certain way to set up a rear naked and then he does it and then you give him credit.
01:28:11.000 It takes away from him.
01:28:11.000 No, it doesn't take away from him at all.
01:28:14.000 It's just the friendly thing to do.
01:28:16.000 Anytime I pull off a submission that someone else In class show?
01:28:22.000 I'll always go and go, dude, got it twice today.
01:28:24.000 You know what I mean?
01:28:25.000 Yes.
01:28:25.000 I'll do the same thing.
01:28:26.000 I'll do the same thing.
01:28:27.000 I do the same thing, yeah.
01:28:29.000 Yeah, that's important, man.
01:28:30.000 It's important.
01:28:32.000 It fosters that friendly attitude, too.
01:28:35.000 All I'm trying to do, I mean, I guess it feels good.
01:28:38.000 It's like a piece of art.
01:28:40.000 I always feel good when a new transition comes up out of nowhere, or someone else, or one of my students teaches me, or we see it on the internet.
01:28:47.000 I get excited.
01:28:48.000 It's cool.
01:28:48.000 It's like another little piece.
01:28:49.000 The people who don't do it have no idea how complex it is.
01:28:51.000 They really have no idea how many levels and layers there are in jiu-jitsu.
01:28:54.000 Like, I was talking to Nathan.
01:28:56.000 We were talking about how he trained with Marcelo, and I went down to New York and trained with him a couple of times, and he was just talking about how good Marcelo moves and how it's really amazing to see someone operate on that level.
01:29:07.000 And we just started thinking about it, like how humbling that is.
01:29:09.000 Like when you're around a guy like Marcelo or Jacare or something like that, I watched a video of Jacare online rolling through people, just rolling through one dude after another, just submitting a left, right, left, right, left, right.
01:29:19.000 When you see someone who's at that high level, you know, it's like, it's so humbling.
01:29:24.000 Because you realize how many goddamn layers there are to this.
01:29:27.000 And it really, it never ends.
01:29:29.000 It's more complex, and more, you know, the guys you're competing against are faster, and they're diving on shit with more precision, and their technique is more crisp, and more sharp, and more options.
01:29:40.000 Dude, there's 12 different ways that I can count there.
01:29:45.000 Maybe more.
01:29:45.000 12 different ways to play off your back.
01:29:47.000 Very nuts.
01:29:48.000 That's what I can count.
01:29:49.000 12 distinctly different styles.
01:29:51.000 Like, you know, there's a difference, you can tell, to the trained eye, someone could tell, he's playing deep half, he's playing X guard, he's playing, you know, lockdown half, he's playing 50-50 guard, he's playing butterfly guard, you know, he's playing rubber guard.
01:30:07.000 There's all, there's 12 of them that I can count, there might be more.
01:30:12.000 De La Riva guard, spiral guard, all that shit.
01:30:15.000 There's so many.
01:30:16.000 It's so complex.
01:30:20.000 I mean, I've been doing jiu-jitsu 16 years, and I suck at most of those guards.
01:30:25.000 Really?
01:30:25.000 Like, I'm not that good at...
01:30:27.000 My De La Riva guard doesn't exist.
01:30:29.000 That's a whole different style.
01:30:31.000 Spiral guard, inverted guard.
01:30:33.000 I never do any of that stuff.
01:30:35.000 I never play 50-50 guard.
01:30:37.000 I never do any of that shit.
01:30:39.000 I have like 4 or 5 guards.
01:30:41.000 I have like 4 or 5 guards and there's like 12. There's a lot of them that I don't do.
01:30:45.000 There's so much, like all these world champions like Rafael Mendez and Cobrino and all these guys, their style is totally different than mine.
01:30:52.000 Totally, like if we taught four-hour seminars each, it would be two different worlds.
01:30:56.000 You know what I mean?
01:30:57.000 There's so much to learn.
01:30:59.000 Which path are you going to take?
01:31:00.000 You know what I mean?
01:31:01.000 I've been doing, again, 16 years and I'm still putting new weapons into the game.
01:31:07.000 I make sure that there's always new projects that I'm working on.
01:31:10.000 There never is.
01:31:11.000 Always.
01:31:11.000 Always got to be a new project.
01:31:13.000 And those projects could take one, two, three years to get them where you need them to be.
01:31:17.000 The DARS is still my project from like...
01:31:20.000 You know, five years ago.
01:31:22.000 You know, I'm not as good as the top guys.
01:31:24.000 I'm pretty good, but I'm not as good as...
01:31:27.000 I still got some more levels to pop through.
01:31:28.000 But, you know, over the last year, year and a half, guillotines and north-south, I suck with those.
01:31:35.000 But they've been on my project.
01:31:36.000 That's when I go against the scrubs, when I go against the white belts, new guys.
01:31:40.000 I'm not gonna do anything that I'm good at with them.
01:31:42.000 I'm gonna only get shit that I suck at and try to train my body.
01:31:46.000 I would get into North-South and I'd go, this feels awkward.
01:31:49.000 I don't know how Danny does it.
01:31:51.000 But I would get in there and try to go as far as I can and I'd lose it.
01:31:55.000 I'd go, let's do something else.
01:31:56.000 Cool, I'll come back to it later and try it again.
01:31:58.000 I'm like, they're not tapping.
01:31:59.000 I'm not really squeezing right.
01:32:01.000 I'm trying to move my leg.
01:32:02.000 Okay, focus on the leg.
01:32:03.000 And after a while, And you have to remember that.
01:32:11.000 People forget that.
01:32:12.000 Because a lot of people, when they try something new, they go, well, it feels kind of awkward.
01:32:15.000 Fuck that.
01:32:16.000 I'm going to go back to my shit.
01:32:17.000 I don't know.
01:32:17.000 He's weird.
01:32:18.000 He's got some strange fucks.
01:32:19.000 You've got to remember that all moves feel awkward in the beginning.
01:32:22.000 And if you want this move, it doesn't matter.
01:32:24.000 You can master this move.
01:32:25.000 If you want it, you can be a cure with this move.
01:32:27.000 It's up to you how many reps you're willing to put in.
01:32:30.000 And in jiu-jitsu, The only sport where you can spar 100% every day, everyone just spars.
01:32:38.000 They put in as few reps as possible.
01:32:42.000 Most people have that mentality back.
01:32:44.000 Unless you force them, and that's what I do.
01:32:45.000 I force my guys because I know they're going to get lazy.
01:32:48.000 And if I say, okay, everyone do 15 of this and 20 of that and make sure you do that, and I write it on a board and let them do it, and I just kick back and chill.
01:32:57.000 They ain't not gonna do it!
01:32:59.000 You gotta have, people need, people, that's why they hire trainers.
01:33:02.000 They could do everything.
01:33:03.000 They know all the exercises.
01:33:04.000 They know they could do it.
01:33:05.000 They just need someone to force them.
01:33:07.000 If you have someone to force you, and you're paying them, then it's easier to go through that shit.
01:33:11.000 You never do.
01:33:12.000 And then you can roll it afterwards and actually get to try it, you know, when somebody doesn't know.
01:33:16.000 For me, I just look at everything.
01:33:17.000 Most things is like long-term projects.
01:33:20.000 Like, how many cycles Have you gone through with this technique?
01:33:24.000 And eventually by third or fourth cycle, once you hit it, bam, look, now he's doing a new role, look at him.
01:33:29.000 Yeah, it's hard to motivate yourself to push yourself.
01:33:32.000 It is definitely important to have someone pushing that.
01:33:34.000 Rolling is so much more fun than drills.
01:33:37.000 Actually, can you imagine getting on a video game and act?
01:33:40.000 Do you ever get on the practice?
01:33:42.000 No.
01:33:43.000 You never like, just practice the little movements over and over like 50 times.
01:33:47.000 Like, okay, this, do people do that?
01:33:49.000 - Yeah, maybe.
01:33:50.000 - Like they get in like a room where they can just practice moves and now they're getting really good with all the moves and they do all the techniques.
01:33:55.000 - Quake players do that.
01:33:56.000 - Oh, do that?
01:33:57.000 - It's like a workout.
01:33:58.000 - They do a workout?
01:33:59.000 - Well, Quake is based on math.
01:34:01.000 It's based on map systems, so there's a bunch of different maps you play on, but one of the most important things about playing Quake when you're in a one-on-one duel is to understand the map.
01:34:09.000 You gotta know where the guns are hidden, you gotta know where the ammo's hidden, and you gotta control the map.
01:34:14.000 So what you gotta do is you gotta make sure you know every fucking minute area, and you can move around it, so they practice special jumps and rocket jumps.
01:34:23.000 They practice jumping into certain areas and like...
01:34:26.000 So they don't get to a straight jump and then crumble.
01:34:29.000 So they'll practice that shit.
01:34:30.000 They practice it so they have complete command of the map.
01:34:33.000 So they can move around the map anywhere they want.
01:34:35.000 And then they practice timing when the...
01:34:38.000 How is Quake now?
01:34:39.000 Is it their new version?
01:34:40.000 Because you were playing that shit 10 years ago.
01:34:42.000 Yeah, it was this new version.
01:34:43.000 The best version though is Quake 3 to me.
01:34:46.000 Quake 4 is pretty badass.
01:34:47.000 What's the latest?
01:34:48.000 I think Quake 4 is the last.
01:34:50.000 It's the latest.
01:34:51.000 It takes years to make them.
01:34:52.000 You know, every one they did.
01:34:53.000 They came out with a new Doom.
01:34:55.000 What every year when They get better and better.
01:34:56.000 I don't know anything about video games.
01:34:58.000 The graphics get better.
01:35:01.000 The graphics and the amount of area you can travel to.
01:35:04.000 Yes.
01:35:04.000 Always bigger.
01:35:05.000 That's what they do.
01:35:06.000 You just get bigger and bigger.
01:35:07.000 You have some games that call them a massive...
01:35:10.000 We'll say MMORGs or something like that.
01:35:13.000 It's role player games.
01:35:14.000 Massive world.
01:35:16.000 It's like an artificial world role player game.
01:35:17.000 Where you can just travel for miles and meet new people and shit.
01:35:21.000 People live their whole lives inside those things.
01:35:23.000 And they're actually real people.
01:35:25.000 The people that you meet in there, they're real people playing the game.
01:35:28.000 Yeah, they're real people playing the game.
01:35:29.000 Yeah, they have rape laws.
01:35:30.000 People have lost their mind when it comes to these things.
01:35:32.000 I never even heard of that.
01:35:33.000 People have let their baby starve.
01:35:36.000 These two people in Korea let their baby starve while they were nourishing their online baby.
01:35:40.000 They had a fake baby online and they were taking care of that baby while their real baby starved to death.
01:35:45.000 They lost their marbles.
01:35:48.000 That's crazy.
01:35:49.000 People are living in artificial worlds 8-10 hours a day and addicted to it.
01:35:53.000 What's it called, this game?
01:35:54.000 There's a bunch.
01:35:55.000 World of Warcraft, there's EverQuest, there's...
01:36:00.000 What's the other one?
01:36:01.000 The Sims.
01:36:03.000 There's another one, something...
01:36:07.000 Athletic?
01:36:10.000 No, no, that's the cool video game.
01:36:14.000 There's one...
01:36:15.000 How many people are them?
01:36:16.000 Second Life?
01:36:17.000 Maybe it's called Second Life or Second Life.
01:36:19.000 Dude, there's 13,210 people.
01:36:21.000 No.
01:36:22.000 No, no, no, look about.
01:36:26.000 That's April 13th, 2010. People are dropping off my face as we're dropping the numbers.
01:36:31.000 They're like, what the fuck am I watching?
01:36:33.000 Watching three retards stoned out of their minds trying to talk to a camera.
01:36:37.000 13,210.
01:36:39.000 How boring is all this shit?
01:36:42.000 Is it boring?
01:36:45.000 This is a 420 episode.
01:36:46.000 If they're all with us, they're all with us.
01:36:49.000 I passed out on pot yesterday.
01:36:51.000 Whoa, what happened?
01:36:52.000 I've been close like two or three times in the last month or two.
01:36:54.000 In a real light hit, it was like, oh my god.
01:36:57.000 And then I managed to jump to the bed.
01:36:58.000 I fainted.
01:36:59.000 I woke up on the floor, dumped on my head.
01:37:01.000 How much weed did you smoke, man?
01:37:02.000 Not that much.
01:37:03.000 Dude.
01:37:04.000 Not that much.
01:37:05.000 And it happened to his girlfriend I had once.
01:37:07.000 And it was like, she had like one hit.
01:37:09.000 It wasn't anything major.
01:37:13.000 I saw someone do that.
01:37:14.000 We gave that to this chick who's working on Fear Factor.
01:37:17.000 She's one of the production people.
01:37:19.000 We're all in New York.
01:37:21.000 We're outside.
01:37:21.000 We're all out there filming there for the weekend.
01:37:24.000 Inside a bar.
01:37:25.000 Have a drink.
01:37:26.000 You guys might smoke a drink?
01:37:27.000 Yeah, come on.
01:37:27.000 It's about time.
01:37:29.000 I guess she's never smoked weed.
01:37:30.000 She decided she wanted to join in the fight.
01:37:32.000 She took one big hit of some train wreck, and her eyes rolled back in her head, and she just dropped.
01:37:37.000 I thought she was faking.
01:37:38.000 I thought she was pretending, like, wow, it's pot.
01:37:40.000 I'm Zola.
01:37:41.000 I want to pass out.
01:37:42.000 I thought she was being silly.
01:37:43.000 We had to catch her as she was falling down to the ground.
01:37:46.000 The girlfriend was like that.
01:37:47.000 She was just smiling.
01:37:49.000 I was like, what's she doing?
01:37:51.000 I don't understand.
01:37:51.000 She didn't even know she was going down.
01:37:53.000 Did you catch her?
01:37:54.000 No.
01:37:55.000 Did you make an effort?
01:37:57.000 An effort to catch it?
01:37:59.000 Well, I was holding popcorn.
01:38:00.000 So you did.
01:38:01.000 So you let the fucking chick drop so that you didn't have to drop your popcorn and soda.
01:38:06.000 I probably wasn't going to be able to catch her anyway.
01:38:08.000 Wow, you didn't see a chance.
01:38:10.000 No, I did not.
01:38:12.000 I didn't understand what was really happening.
01:38:13.000 But it happened to me yesterday.
01:38:15.000 How long did you even date this chick?
01:38:18.000 A few months.
01:38:19.000 So how attached were you to her?
01:38:21.000 Right now, you're still dating her?
01:38:23.000 No.
01:38:23.000 So we bummed out when she popped out?
01:38:25.000 When she fell?
01:38:26.000 Yeah, I didn't quite get it until she was fully down.
01:38:28.000 I was like, did she just faint?
01:38:29.000 Did you feel it all responsible?
01:38:31.000 Somewhat, yeah.
01:38:32.000 Well, I gave it a pod.
01:38:33.000 Oh!
01:38:34.000 Went to see Zombieland.
01:38:35.000 Did you watch this season of Celebrity Rehab?
01:38:37.000 No, I did not.
01:38:38.000 You didn't watch it?
01:38:39.000 I watched one episode.
01:38:40.000 Oh, okay.
01:38:41.000 That was too much for me.
01:38:42.000 You know that chick from One Day at a Time?
01:38:46.000 Yeah.
01:38:46.000 Mackenzie Phillips, she's in bed rooming with this country, this ex-country chick singer who has epileptic seizures.
01:38:55.000 Nice.
01:38:55.000 And she went off.
01:38:57.000 Like in the middle of this conversation, she was just telling McKenzie, like, ah-ha.
01:38:59.000 And this is all on film.
01:39:01.000 She goes, no.
01:39:02.000 She's freaking freezing.
01:39:04.000 And McKenzie goes like, yeah.
01:39:05.000 What?
01:39:08.000 Are you playing?
01:39:10.000 Are you playing?
01:39:11.000 It's all on video.
01:39:12.000 Wow.
01:39:13.000 They kept replaying that movie.
01:39:16.000 You know how they replay shit on reality shows?
01:39:18.000 After the commercial, they come back.
01:39:20.000 They can be shown it again.
01:39:21.000 Oh, my God.
01:39:22.000 Have you guys seen Shreds?
01:39:24.000 Australia has a lot of procedures, man.
01:39:27.000 What's Shreds?
01:39:28.000 Shreds is a thing.
01:39:29.000 These guys are doing, they're taking music videos and redoing the music, like I just saw one from Journey.
01:39:35.000 They redo the music, lip-syncing totally as perfect as possible, but the worst voices, everything's attitude and everything's attitude.
01:39:44.000 So you see this, it's like the worst rock band ever.
01:39:48.000 They're really funny, dude.
01:39:50.000 Really?
01:39:50.000 Yeah.
01:39:51.000 So it's Journey playing.
01:39:52.000 It's a Journey music video.
01:39:55.000 Yeah, it looks like they Yeah, it's on something.
01:40:01.000 It's called Shreds.
01:40:02.000 There's a bunch of them.
01:40:03.000 Let's watch it and we'll...
01:40:04.000 Any way you want it, journey.
01:40:06.000 It's fun.
01:40:08.000 They did one on Mac Danzig.
01:40:10.000 Oh, not Mac Danzig.
01:40:11.000 Danzig, the singer.
01:40:13.000 And he's friends with this guy I know.
01:40:16.000 And he said when he showed it to him, dude, he got really offended.
01:40:19.000 Really?
01:40:21.000 See, they're doing it to Journey.
01:40:22.000 And Journey's like, you know, they're like amazing musicians and singers.
01:40:26.000 Okay, I looked up Shreds, Journey.
01:40:29.000 Shreds what?
01:40:30.000 Shreds, Journey.
01:40:31.000 That's it.
01:40:31.000 E-A-D? Any way you want it.
01:40:32.000 E-A-D or E-D? I think it...
01:40:34.000 No, no, it's with an E. It's with an E. No, that's right.
01:40:37.000 Shred, Journey.
01:40:40.000 Is this it?
01:40:41.000 Junkies, Shreds?
01:40:42.000 That's it.
01:40:43.000 The top one.
01:40:44.000 That's it.
01:40:44.000 Can you make it to the audience?
01:40:45.000 Watch this too.
01:40:47.000 We're going to have to look up junkie shreds.
01:40:50.000 I'm big.
01:40:51.000 I'm big.
01:40:53.000 It's not junkie.
01:40:54.000 Jerk knee.
01:40:56.000 Jerk knee shreds.
01:40:57.000 Jerk knee shreds.
01:40:58.000 I should send it to the commercial.
01:41:00.000 Journey?
01:41:00.000 More like journey.
01:41:01.000 Oh, journey.
01:41:02.000 I was going to get pulled down.
01:41:03.000 How dumb am I? I didn't get it either.
01:41:06.000 Jerk knee.
01:41:06.000 Alright, here it goes.
01:41:07.000 Let's see what it is.
01:41:09.000 That's the way you need it.
01:41:11.000 Any way you want it.
01:41:13.000 She loves to laugh.
01:41:18.000 She loves to sing.
01:41:20.000 She loves everything.
01:41:23.000 She loves to move.
01:41:25.000 She loves the groove.
01:41:27.000 She loves all the things.
01:41:31.000 All night.
01:41:33.000 All night.
01:41:34.000 Oh, every night.
01:41:38.000 Whole time.
01:41:40.000 Whole time.
01:41:41.000 Baby, hold on.
01:41:43.000 Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it.
01:41:48.000 Anyway you want it.
01:41:50.000 She said, "Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it." Anyway you want it.
01:41:57.000 Wow!
01:41:58.000 She's very well done.
01:41:59.000 I want to do that one.
01:42:01.000 I never knew how you'd love to do it.
01:42:06.000 Then we can't.
01:42:08.000 Then we can't.
01:42:10.000 I can't.
01:42:18.000 I'm gonna flip the.
01:42:20.000 I'll flip this up.
01:42:22.000 I'm sorry.
01:42:22.000 CALL STYLE! CALL STYLE!
01:42:26.000 There's some monkey on, there's a monkey on!
01:42:38.000 That's a good one!
01:42:40.000 It's genius!
01:42:42.000 Oh, that's very funny.
01:42:44.000 That's good shit, man.
01:42:46.000 I just, uh, you guys can watch it.
01:42:48.000 I just sent it to Twitter.
01:42:50.000 The solo, dude, the solo is so bad.
01:42:54.000 It's just so cool that you can do that so easy.
01:42:57.000 I mean, it's so easy to do stuff like that now.
01:42:58.000 To edit video and put it online.
01:43:00.000 Like, it'd be, it'd actually be hard to do that.
01:43:02.000 You can actually listen to the song on earphones, record here, so you can sing it right along with them as they're doing it.
01:43:09.000 Yeah.
01:43:09.000 What you can do now, man, it's incredible.
01:43:11.000 What are you doing?
01:43:13.000 A lot of people have already seen it.
01:43:15.000 They go look up Van Halen.
01:43:18.000 That was some funny shit.
01:43:25.000 Yeah, it was funny.
01:43:27.000 I'll try to read some of these.
01:43:34.000 We might be too high to be doing this.
01:43:35.000 Should be.
01:43:37.000 I'm starving.
01:43:39.000 Should be illegal.
01:43:40.000 Ari, bad bladder.
01:43:44.000 That was loud.
01:43:45.000 Yeah, sorry about that, man.
01:43:47.000 We probably didn't do that the best way.
01:43:50.000 Kids shreds.
01:43:51.000 I don't know.
01:43:53.000 I heard you were publishing a scientific paper in neuroscience.
01:43:56.000 That's hilarious.
01:43:57.000 If that wasn't true, I would be Carl's Mencia-ing it.
01:44:04.000 Some dude wrote some shit in Arabic.
01:44:06.000 Arabic does look cool, doesn't it?
01:44:08.000 Look how cool that shit looks.
01:44:10.000 What?
01:44:10.000 Arabic?
01:44:12.000 Yeah, that's probably the coolest that I've been writing on the planet.
01:44:15.000 Probably cooler than Chinese or Japanese.
01:44:20.000 Yeah, look at that shit.
01:44:22.000 It looks like something elegant to it, you know?
01:44:26.000 It's like cool to see it on your wall, you know?
01:44:29.000 It looks like art.
01:44:34.000 So, this chick wants to fuck you, dude.
01:44:36.000 This Slurpella, she's back.
01:44:38.000 Oh, shit.
01:44:39.000 She says, Explain the name Slurpella.
01:44:42.000 Where'd you get that from?
01:44:43.000 Who gave it to you?
01:44:44.000 Did you dub yourself back?
01:44:46.000 There's 1,600 people in here, man.
01:44:47.000 There's no way you're going to have to keep an eye on it to catch her response.
01:44:53.000 Can I get Dave Chappelle in here sometime?
01:44:54.000 I would love to hang out with Dave Chappelle, but I don't know him that well.
01:44:57.000 I only did a show a couple times, and one time it was just because I was walking down the street and I ran into him.
01:45:02.000 Another time is the Fear Factor one.
01:45:05.000 The one we ran into was hilarious.
01:45:06.000 Remember that?
01:45:07.000 You were with me.
01:45:08.000 We were in New York.
01:45:09.000 We were just walking down the street, and I'm like, that looks like Dave Chappelle with a mustache on.
01:45:13.000 And he's like, hey, Joe, you want to be in my show?
01:45:16.000 It was like, okay.
01:45:17.000 And it was out of nowhere.
01:45:18.000 His show hadn't even aired yet.
01:45:19.000 Times Square, just walking down the street.
01:45:21.000 That was when the Dave Chappelle show, you know, nobody had any idea it was even coming out.
01:45:27.000 And then when it came out, like, right away, it was like the best show ever.
01:45:31.000 That was the Bigsby.
01:45:32.000 Yeah.
01:45:32.000 First sketch.
01:45:33.000 I'm sure he was like, no, no, no, let's leave it with that one.
01:45:35.000 Knocked it out of the park.
01:45:37.000 That was the best show ever.
01:45:38.000 Was that the first sketch ever?
01:45:39.000 I think so.
01:45:40.000 I don't know.
01:45:40.000 I know that's the first sketch.
01:45:41.000 I know it's the first sketch on the top 25. Because I think when he said Maybe the audience knows the answer to this.
01:45:55.000 That's a good question.
01:45:56.000 This is like intelligence.
01:45:57.000 The audience here, we could find out anything.
01:45:59.000 Yeah.
01:46:00.000 How about that?
01:46:00.000 How about when we couldn't remember that dude's name earlier, Dennis Hopper?
01:46:03.000 Bam!
01:46:04.000 It just popped up.
01:46:05.000 Yeah, that's incredible.
01:46:08.000 Yeah, I mean, there's 1,666.
01:46:11.000 1,666.
01:46:12.000 We're evil!
01:46:13.000 We're officially evil.
01:46:15.000 Dude.
01:46:17.000 Got a lot of viewers.
01:46:19.000 See, there's some dudes writing some other shit.
01:46:21.000 And then he wrote Shiny Happy Jihad.
01:46:23.000 Listen, man.
01:46:24.000 Don't be mixing my shit up with that shit because I don't know what you're saying.
01:46:27.000 Did you hear about that chick in Nevada that got sent to life in prison because she talked to a 14-year-old boy.
01:46:35.000 She wanted to try to get him to have sex with her.
01:46:37.000 And she grabbed his hand and put it on her tit and tried to get her to fuck her.
01:46:40.000 And she did it like she got...
01:46:42.000 Life in prison.
01:46:44.000 Life in prison is a mandatory sentence?
01:46:47.000 Uh-huh.
01:46:49.000 The kid's 14 years old and she's like 34 or some shit.
01:46:52.000 And she grabbed the kid's hand and put it on her tit.
01:46:55.000 And she said she was drunk and she doesn't remember any of it.
01:46:58.000 And this bitch is going to do life in jail.
01:47:01.000 Yeah, that's possible.
01:47:03.000 She doesn't remember it.
01:47:04.000 She did it.
01:47:05.000 All she did was put his hand in it.
01:47:07.000 You know, obviously the bitch is crazy and she needs to do like a night in jail or maybe a week at the most.
01:47:13.000 You know, like just shock her.
01:47:15.000 You can think about what it would be like to spend one month in prison That would fucking destroy a lot of your life.
01:47:21.000 Yeah.
01:47:22.000 And people are like, oh, he needs to get at least 10 years.
01:47:23.000 Like, think about what a month in prison would be like.
01:47:27.000 Yeah, that would be horrifying.
01:47:29.000 Terrible.
01:47:30.000 Terrible.
01:47:31.000 And for just getting a boy to touch your tit?
01:47:33.000 I mean, yeah, you shouldn't have done it, but come on.
01:47:35.000 You're supposed to, like, slap her on the wrist to tell her to get out of there.
01:47:38.000 That's a mandatory.
01:47:39.000 So she's not even eligible for parole for 10 years.
01:47:43.000 She has to go 10 years before she's even eligible for parole.
01:47:46.000 I'd like to know the details of that case.
01:47:48.000 There's got to be some shit in there.
01:47:49.000 Seems like her stuff is not quite out.
01:47:50.000 She might be.
01:47:50.000 She's done some of the ties before.
01:47:53.000 Man, look at you guys.
01:47:54.000 You're just fucking supportive.
01:47:55.000 How dare you?
01:47:56.000 I don't know, but it seems unbelievable.
01:47:57.000 I can't, it's hard to believe that people are that stupid.
01:48:00.000 Oh, I would give someone a lie for that.
01:48:03.000 Yeah.
01:48:03.000 I mean, that's why it's an interesting story.
01:48:05.000 Remember when your friends in class got thrown out?
01:48:07.000 I'm like, what'd you do?
01:48:08.000 Like, nothing?
01:48:09.000 I just moved by chair and teach me crazy.
01:48:11.000 It's like, no, you didn't.
01:48:11.000 You were moving it over and over.
01:48:13.000 I told you to stop.
01:48:13.000 That's all well and good, but that was the charges.
01:48:15.000 With the charges, what she got convicted of is lewdness, minor, and some shit like that.
01:48:21.000 Maybe she's been a good kid since she was eight.
01:48:24.000 Probably wasn't the first time she did it.
01:48:26.000 She's a crazy speed freak who just sucks dick on the little kids dicks and she just doesn't stop.
01:48:32.000 Well, if she did it to this kid, she's probably done it to other ones.
01:48:35.000 It's not like she's been fucking a grown man.
01:48:36.000 She just said, let me just take...
01:48:39.000 You alright?
01:48:39.000 You done?
01:48:40.000 Yeah.
01:48:40.000 Okay.
01:48:42.000 It's not like, you know, like, all of a sudden out of nowhere she just says, let me just dive on this 14-year-old dick.
01:48:46.000 She's done it before.
01:48:47.000 She's just not particular about who she blows.
01:48:49.000 You know, that's all that is.
01:48:50.000 She's just a crazy bitch.
01:48:52.000 But she shouldn't have to go to jail for the rest of her fucking life, man.
01:48:55.000 That's nuts.
01:48:57.000 You know, they're trying to put kids in jail for sexting.
01:48:59.000 They're trying to make sexting illegal.
01:49:01.000 For kids?
01:49:03.000 Child porn.
01:49:04.000 They're saying it's child porn.
01:49:05.000 You're not nuts.
01:49:10.000 Of course, right?
01:49:11.000 But are they kids doing it to each other and that's child porn?
01:49:14.000 Yeah, and sending it to their boyfriends.
01:49:16.000 Wanna hear a crazy story?
01:49:17.000 A bunch of girls got suspended.
01:49:19.000 I think it was like nine girls got suspended from this one school because they had a bunch of pictures that they took and put on their MySpace page in between school, when they're not at school, like during their summer break.
01:49:30.000 So when they came back to school, they were suspended because of sexy pictures of their MySpace page.
01:49:35.000 They're like sucking fingers and sticking their ass out in their underwear and stuff.
01:49:38.000 And they're only like 14. You know, they're just doing normal whore shit.
01:49:43.000 And they got suspended.
01:49:44.000 So the girls are suing the school.
01:49:47.000 They're going to win.
01:49:48.000 I mean, if you can go on MySpace, you can't tell someone they can't do something during their off time because you don't like it.
01:49:54.000 Just because you're teaching them.
01:49:56.000 You know, when did these fucking retards that are touching our students...
01:49:59.000 People accessing it at school.
01:49:59.000 What's that?
01:50:00.000 People accessing it at school.
01:50:01.000 Yeah.
01:50:03.000 Well, you could access it at school if you had access to MySpace at school.
01:50:06.000 I don't know what kind of internet access they have at school.
01:50:09.000 Yeah, but either way, the kids should be able to put up, you know, if she wants to be a whore, she's going to be a whore.
01:50:13.000 You can't legislate against that.
01:50:15.000 And you certainly can't punish them for shit they're doing in that school.
01:50:17.000 It's also legal to do.
01:50:19.000 Yeah.
01:50:19.000 You're acting like you're a fucking mom.
01:50:21.000 You're saying you don't want them in school because it's going to give other people a bad impression of your school?
01:50:27.000 Is that what it is?
01:50:28.000 Because she's in her underwear online?
01:50:29.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:50:31.000 It's one of these dummies that are teaching our kids today.
01:50:35.000 And that's the problem.
01:50:35.000 There's a bunch of them who are fucking dummies.
01:50:38.000 When did they become the parents?
01:50:40.000 When did they become the moral arbitrators?
01:50:43.000 When did they become the people who dictate how people are supposed to behave?
01:50:47.000 You know, if you don't have a problem with your kid sticking her ass up in the air in MySpace and you're the teacher, you should be like, whatever.
01:50:53.000 I'm gonna teach you some science and you get through life and enjoy yourself.
01:50:56.000 What the fuck?
01:50:57.000 Are the teachers supposed to step in and say you shouldn't be in your underwear when you're out of school?
01:51:00.000 Fuck you.
01:51:01.000 Who are you?
01:51:02.000 You just teach.
01:51:03.000 Just teach me.
01:51:04.000 You don't get to fucking shut my life down because you don't like me in my underwear.
01:51:09.000 That's ridiculous.
01:51:11.000 See, I know I said that.
01:51:12.000 I said that in first person.
01:51:13.000 I got with a 14-year-old girl.
01:51:15.000 That was a secret fantasy.
01:51:17.000 We didn't even notice that.
01:51:19.000 How old are they?
01:51:20.000 14?
01:51:20.000 They're like 14. 14, 15 years old.
01:51:22.000 That's wrong.
01:51:24.000 That's wrong.
01:51:26.000 Look, ma'am, you can't stop chicks from doing horror shit.
01:51:29.000 They arrested a 15-year-old girl for child pornography because she sent a dude in her class a picture of her cousin.
01:51:35.000 So they arrested her.
01:51:37.000 They eventually charged her with use of criminal tools.
01:51:40.000 And the criminal tool was a cell phone.
01:51:44.000 How nutty is that?
01:51:46.000 What was that, Alabama?
01:51:49.000 I don't know.
01:51:49.000 I know tiny little facts.
01:51:53.000 Is he?
01:51:53.000 Yeah, Brian's fucked.
01:51:56.000 Hi, everyone.
01:51:56.000 I love you.
01:51:57.000 I'm also inviting him.
01:51:58.000 Aw, that's so sweet.
01:52:00.000 Poor Brian.
01:52:00.000 Want to hear how dumb Brian is?
01:52:02.000 Brian bit into a spoon.
01:52:04.000 He was eating some yogurt and bit down.
01:52:07.000 First of all, son, you're not supposed to bite that goddamn heart on yogurt.
01:52:10.000 You know?
01:52:11.000 How hungry was he?
01:52:12.000 He bit down into his metal spoon.
01:52:14.000 You're supposed to slurp it, dude.
01:52:15.000 Yeah, what are you doing biting it?
01:52:17.000 I don't eat yogurt.
01:52:17.000 Only plastic spoons from now on for you.
01:52:19.000 So he bit down on a spoon and broke his tooth.
01:52:22.000 That's why he's not here.
01:52:27.000 This guy said he's going to put me in a triangle choke.
01:52:29.000 How dare you?
01:52:30.000 Are you scared?
01:52:31.000 Scared of one to ten.
01:52:32.000 I don't want to be caught in triangles.
01:52:33.000 That's uncomfortable.
01:52:35.000 I'm scared for you.
01:52:36.000 I'm scared that you're scared.
01:52:37.000 You really got me scared.
01:52:40.000 I always said he was stoned eating yogurt.
01:52:42.000 He was eating yogurt thinking about yummy dicks.
01:52:47.000 He just got all excited and clamped down.
01:52:51.000 I think we talked about all the things I wanted to talk about.
01:52:54.000 I talked about the lady in Nevada.
01:52:57.000 We talked about Strikeforce and Mayhem.
01:52:59.000 Any other comments?
01:53:00.000 Oh, Mike Whitehead got busted for weed and sexual assault.
01:53:03.000 That sucks.
01:53:05.000 That's not good for the movement, Mike.
01:53:07.000 Damn!
01:53:07.000 Yeah, that sucks.
01:53:09.000 Was he drunk too?
01:53:10.000 I hope it's all bullshit.
01:53:11.000 Who's Jack Herrera?
01:53:13.000 Jack Herrera.
01:53:14.000 Didn't he die a year ago?
01:53:16.000 No, he had a massive heart attack a year ago.
01:53:18.000 John said he just died.
01:53:19.000 I thought he was dead the whole time.
01:53:21.000 I didn't know he was a person.
01:53:22.000 They thought he was dead.
01:53:23.000 There was a bunch of people sent, I think even Doug Benson sent out an RIP. A lot of people were saying he was dead.
01:53:30.000 And so there was a rumor going around.
01:53:32.000 But it wasn't that he was dead, but he was basically like barely alive.
01:53:35.000 He was basically not responsive.
01:53:36.000 Well, I don't know the medical details, but I know that he was in really, really bad shape from the time of that till now.
01:53:44.000 So who was it?
01:53:45.000 So he wasn't dead.
01:53:46.000 He was just really...
01:53:48.000 Powerful marijuana activist that started out his life as this Goldwater Republican type guy who was really anti-weed and then he got divorced and smoking pot with this woman that he had just met, this new woman, he took a chance when he was a single guy and hanging out with some chick and really kind of was blown away by it and then fell in love with the effects of marijuana and then started looking into the history and then he put out this really fucking amazing book It's called The Emperor Wears No Clothes.
01:54:18.000 And it's all about this marijuana.
01:54:21.000 The Lord in jail.
01:54:22.000 Putting him in jail.
01:54:23.000 The reason he went to jail is because before he wrote the book, he was already a marijuana activist for certain things.
01:54:31.000 There's so many ways you can fight for marijuana, but I forget exactly what he was fighting for in the very beginning.
01:54:36.000 He was protesting in front of a federal building.
01:54:39.000 Reagan showed up.
01:54:42.000 Reagan told the people at the federal building they don't have it handled.
01:54:45.000 He had the cops come and arrest everybody.
01:54:47.000 All they had to do was pay like some $20 ticket or something.
01:54:50.000 He refused to pay it and he went to jail for A year and two?
01:54:55.000 Yeah, he went to jail for it.
01:54:56.000 He was hardcore.
01:54:57.000 It was good for him.
01:54:59.000 That's where he had the time to write the emperor's original clothes.
01:55:01.000 He voted in jail.
01:55:02.000 That's amazing.
01:55:03.000 Yeah.
01:55:04.000 It's amazing.
01:55:05.000 It's a good book, too.
01:55:06.000 It's really very detailed.
01:55:08.000 If you want to know anything about the history of propaganda and of hemp being made illegal, everybody thinks the reason why marijuana is illegal is because it's bad for you.
01:55:17.000 I mean, if you ask like 100 people, 75 of them are going to tell you it's bad for you.
01:55:20.000 It's something.
01:55:21.000 It does brain damage, causes some problems.
01:55:23.000 But that's not why it's illegal.
01:55:25.000 It's illegal because when they figured out a way to process hemp fibers more effectively, they came up with this thing called a decorticator.
01:55:31.000 There's a machine that grinds up the hemp and makes the fibers easier to process.
01:55:36.000 William Randolph Hearst owned paper companies.
01:55:39.000 And he also owned newspapers, and these paper companies, you know, they make paper out of fucking wood, and this hemp paper was much better, it was far superior, and it was a competing product.
01:55:48.000 So he wanted to make it illegal.
01:55:49.000 So what he decided to do was print newspaper articles where they said that blacks and Mexicans were raping white women.
01:55:55.000 I knew it!
01:55:56.000 When is this?
01:55:58.000 And the reason why they said they were raping white women is because they were smoking this new drug called marijuana.
01:56:05.000 So when Congress made marijuana illegal, they didn't even know they were making the textile, the fabric, all the things that hemp can make.
01:56:13.000 They didn't really even know they were making that illegal too.
01:56:15.000 They had no idea.
01:56:16.000 It's really completely ridiculous.
01:56:18.000 The fact that it stuck from the 1930s all the way to here to 2010, even though we know it's ridiculous.
01:56:24.000 I mean, you can go right now, we can go down to the corner store and buy Jack Daniels and drink ourselves to death.
01:56:30.000 Easy.
01:56:31.000 If we walked in there right now, we each bought a big-ass bottle, like a gallon jug of Jack Daniels, all three of us in line, no one would bat an eye.
01:56:39.000 That's lethal doses.
01:56:41.000 We just bought lethal doses of alcohol.
01:56:43.000 When we could just come here and the three of us would drink those, drink that Jack Daniels until our body literally shut the fuck down.
01:56:49.000 That sounds cool.
01:56:51.000 How crazy is it that people would even bat an eye that marijuana should or shouldn't be illegal?
01:56:57.000 Well, Of course it should be legal.
01:57:01.000 If you can go and buy Jack Daniels, that's ridiculous.
01:57:06.000 Ridiculous.
01:57:07.000 Man, I'm fucking hungry.
01:57:10.000 You want to end this thing?
01:57:12.000 It's 518. I think we did enough.
01:57:15.000 Talk about Silva.
01:57:16.000 I think we've already talked about Silva enough.
01:57:18.000 You know...
01:57:21.000 I think they're bored enough.
01:57:22.000 Anderson Silva's saying he's going to take all the UFC belts.
01:57:25.000 You know what?
01:57:25.000 Maybe Anderson Silva's bored at 185 pounds.
01:57:28.000 Maybe that's the reason why his last performance wasn't up to par.
01:57:32.000 Who the fuck knows, man?
01:57:33.000 You don't know until you're inside that dude's head.
01:57:36.000 He's obviously brilliant in his fighting, and he's probably a very complicated dude.
01:57:41.000 But I think I would like to see him challenged.
01:57:44.000 That Chael Sonnen fight's going to be very interesting.
01:57:46.000 Chael Sonnen's going to talk a lot of shit, and he's going to attack him.
01:57:50.000 And Chael Sonnen?
01:57:51.000 They're doing it?
01:57:51.000 Yeah.
01:57:52.000 What?
01:57:52.000 August.
01:57:53.000 I think it's gonna be in Salt Lake City.
01:57:55.000 Why'd everyone like Chael Sonnen all of a sudden?
01:57:57.000 Well, Chael Sonnen's a real good wrestler, man.
01:57:59.000 He beat the fucker.
01:58:00.000 Well, he beat Yushin Okami, which was really impressive.
01:58:02.000 Because Yushin at the time was thought to be like this real powerful grappler.
01:58:05.000 Chael Sonnen just manhandled him without grappling the shit out of him.
01:58:09.000 Then he beat Nate Marquardt.
01:58:12.000 And that was like, whoa.
01:58:13.000 That really opened a lot of people's eyes.
01:58:14.000 And so now he gets this fight?
01:58:16.000 For a wrestler, he's really explosive with double leg takedowns, and you don't see that often.
01:58:20.000 You see a lot of Greco guys flying for your leg.
01:58:23.000 He's like GSP with wrestling at 85. So you fought Damian Maia before that, and he got triangled.
01:58:32.000 He got taken down.
01:58:34.000 I think he hit him with a lateral drop or some sort of a throw.
01:58:37.000 It was really impressive.
01:58:38.000 And Damian mounted him.
01:58:39.000 And then snapped a triangle from the mountain and pulled him on top of him and tapped him in the triangle.
01:58:43.000 Really sweet.
01:58:45.000 Yeah.
01:58:47.000 But, you know, the Damian Maia thing, look, you know, if that guy catches you, he catches you.
01:58:52.000 He's really good at that.
01:58:53.000 Chael Sonnen's been caught with stuff in the past.
01:58:55.000 That would be an interesting thing if Anderson could submit him off of his back.
01:58:58.000 That would be fantastic.
01:59:00.000 Because, you know, Chael Sonnen, at some point in time, if Anderson doesn't knock him out immediately, Chael Sonnen's going to have Anderson on his back.
01:59:07.000 Unless he catches him while he's coming in.
01:59:09.000 Which is always possible with Anderson.
01:59:12.000 I have a feeling that this time Chael is going to take submission defense in the guard and pass in the guard a little more seriously.
01:59:21.000 I have a feeling.
01:59:22.000 Yeah, I don't think he's going to come out because he gets caught in the guard because he likes to pound in the guard.
01:59:27.000 When you pound in the guard, he can get caught.
01:59:28.000 Look at Karin Darabini.
01:59:30.000 He got caught.
01:59:31.000 He's awesome.
01:59:33.000 He's awesome at jiu-jitsu, but Once Chael finally realizes that he needs to get really good at passing and mounting and taking the back, fuck!
01:59:42.000 Once he realizes that he needs to adapt the GSP strategy, once he looks at GSP at FeeFights and says, holy shit, I should be doing what GSP's doing.
01:59:53.000 Once he makes that decision, Chael will be unstoppable.
01:59:56.000 That dude's got serious cardio too.
01:59:58.000 The reason why he does great, but then he loses, he does great, then he loses, is because he is not taking guard passing and being safe in the guard.
02:00:10.000 And taking guard passing as the number one priority over ground and pound in the full guard.
02:00:16.000 You only should really pound in the full guard.
02:00:19.000 To open shit up.
02:00:20.000 Passing should be your number one focus.
02:00:23.000 Look at GSP. Passing is his number one focus.
02:00:27.000 That is the correct attitude.
02:00:28.000 Well, that's an important point.
02:00:29.000 What did you think about what Greg Jackson said about GSP? Greg Jackson said in the fight that he didn't want GSP to pass his guarding.
02:00:36.000 He took Dan Hardy down.
02:00:37.000 He said, just don't pass his guard this round.
02:00:40.000 He was he was being I don't agree with it.
02:00:43.000 I don't agree with it ever saying he couldn't pass his guard They wasn't passing it news like I guess we thought he was wasting energy Yeah, just wanted to be doing that beat him up from inside the guard You know the things you guys always say it's worth from the half guard I mean stories.
02:00:56.000 Yeah, it's guys up.
02:00:56.000 It's just like you know, you can get swept away I don't agree with that strategy at all ever Ever.
02:01:03.000 I would never agree with that.
02:01:04.000 But...
02:01:05.000 I can understand it in a way where I could see that after GSP passed his guard and mounted him, Dan Hardy would give his back, then he would post up, and then eventually would shake him up, and they would stand up again.
02:01:17.000 That every time, so Greg Jackson was looking at it, it was like, if he passed the guard, he's going to mount him, they could eventually stand up after he gets his back and try That's like the super conservative strategy, which I understand, but...
02:01:45.000 I think GSP was doing fine and I think he should always go for the finish and always go for the pass.
02:01:51.000 He almost had him twice.
02:01:53.000 You don't want your fighter to get forward.
02:01:57.000 Jon Donagher, they were working on it afterwards.
02:02:00.000 They were working on tightening what he was doing wrong, setting up his Kimura, telling him to hit it at a different angle.
02:02:05.000 I don't know.
02:02:06.000 I don't remember how he did it.
02:02:07.000 Did he have the leg over the face?
02:02:10.000 It looks pretty damn good.
02:02:11.000 I don't know why.
02:02:12.000 Was he in side control or did he have to leg over the face?
02:02:15.000 I don't remember.
02:02:17.000 It was side control, but I don't remember from that gap.
02:02:19.000 The Kimura looked strong.
02:02:21.000 The arm bar looked strong for a couple seconds, man.
02:02:23.000 The arm bar was bent way back for a couple seconds.
02:02:26.000 Dan Hardy just gritted it out, rolled his face into the mat, turned himself over.
02:02:31.000 And Dan only had two scratches on us under his right eye, and he wasn't hurt, his arms were fine.
02:02:36.000 That's amazing.
02:02:37.000 I mean, it's amazing that he went five rounds of GSP and he barely had a couple nicks on him.
02:02:41.000 Yeah, well, that's how bad ass he is, man.
02:02:44.000 You know, Hardy's a tough dude.
02:02:45.000 He's such a smart guy, too.
02:02:47.000 He's so good at shit-talking.
02:02:49.000 So good at those interviews, man.
02:02:52.000 It's such a tricky thing because in one way that's kind of like anti what the martial arts is supposed to stand for, talking shit.
02:03:00.000 But when dudes do talk shit, they make it so much more interesting.
02:03:04.000 Yeah, I think they talk shit back in ancient times, like samurais against the Kung Fu dudes and all that shit.
02:03:09.000 I think they talk shit.
02:03:10.000 I can see them talking shit.
02:03:13.000 It's a tactic.
02:03:14.000 It fucks with people's heads.
02:03:15.000 If you talk shit with people's heads.
02:03:18.000 It's a terrible tactic.
02:03:19.000 Are you going to make me sick of my dick?
02:03:25.000 Is that it?
02:03:25.000 I'm gonna make you suck my dick.
02:03:29.000 Yeah, man.
02:03:31.000 It is a tactic, you know?
02:03:33.000 Fucking with dudes' heads, it is, like, a legitimate technique.
02:03:36.000 The problem is that everyone thinks they're doing so well, and it, like, rarely actually fills people off their games.
02:03:41.000 Yeah.
02:03:41.000 And it tends to make them douchey sometimes, too.
02:03:44.000 It makes it douchey.
02:03:45.000 The two guys are just talking shit to each other, and, you know, sometimes, you know, but when guys are good at it...
02:03:52.000 Like Muhammad Ali, but it wasn't, like, personal shit.
02:03:54.000 Can you imagine a guy going out in an interview going, I'm gonna be honest with you.
02:03:58.000 I really don't think...
02:04:01.000 I'm going to go out there and give it my all.
02:04:03.000 That's all I can do.
02:04:05.000 What else do you want me to do?
02:04:06.000 Would it be awesome if someone went out in the interview and said, here's the deal, man.
02:04:09.000 I don't really have a lot of job options.
02:04:11.000 I need some money.
02:04:13.000 And it's not a lot of money, but fuck it.
02:04:15.000 I need to fight.
02:04:17.000 And, you know, it seems exciting.
02:04:19.000 I saw it on TV a couple of times, and I thought, you know what?
02:04:22.000 I'm going to be able to make some cash with that.
02:04:25.000 My favorite was Anderson, one of the times, when they go back and forth, they tell you what that guy said, and you say something, and they go back to the first guy and say, well, he said this.
02:04:32.000 It's like fucking drama school.
02:04:34.000 Right.
02:04:34.000 But so, they said, you know, Anderson, that guy said he's going to, you know, get you down, mount you, you know, pound you to submission.
02:04:39.000 And his response was like, that's a great tactic.
02:04:41.000 Yes.
02:04:42.000 Yeah.
02:04:45.000 Yeah, that's a smart way.
02:04:47.000 That's a smart way of telling it.
02:04:49.000 Yeah, Anderson is pretty good when it comes to chit-talk and how casual and calm he gets, but apparently he gets very angry.
02:04:55.000 I mean, when you saw that Chell Sonnen fight, man, or the, rather, Damian Maia fight, he gets real angry.
02:05:00.000 You know, Damian Maia, whatever the fuck Damian Maia said really made him bananas in that second round.
02:05:05.000 I don't know what the fuck was said or what, but have you ever seen him like that before?
02:05:10.000 Ever?
02:05:14.000 What would happen if Damien Maia, when he butt scoops and Anderson Silva standing, what if Damien Maia started doing some fucking windmill breakdancing stuff coming after him, right?
02:05:26.000 You know?
02:05:26.000 And then would stop.
02:05:27.000 What if he just started dancing?
02:05:29.000 That would be crazy if, like, right in the middle, he just started breakdancing.
02:05:34.000 You know that thing where they, it's like they go, they spin, That would be awesome.
02:05:40.000 George St-Pierre could do that.
02:05:42.000 George St-Pierre could breakdance.
02:05:44.000 Do you remember who used to do that a little bit in some of his earlier fights?
02:05:47.000 What if you got really good and you attacked someone like that?
02:05:49.000 Like you just fucking spun at him like that with a big propeller.
02:05:52.000 That's a lot of energy.
02:05:54.000 Can you imagine?
02:05:54.000 That's a fucking breakdance.
02:05:55.000 That would be badass, man.
02:05:57.000 I bet the breakdancers would start making some noise.
02:06:00.000 It was the sickest fucking baseball card like this.
02:06:06.000 Yeah.
02:06:07.000 That's pretty funny.
02:06:08.000 What if capoeira got together with breakdancing and created a new martial art?
02:06:13.000 They said, let's do something.
02:06:15.000 Break wet out.
02:06:16.000 Try to catch you when it's spinning like a top.
02:06:18.000 Try to get in there.
02:06:19.000 There's a tsunami of ankles and knuckles.
02:06:23.000 Things are spinning around.
02:06:24.000 You can't just dive in there.
02:06:25.000 You're going to get fucking bumped.
02:06:26.000 You could do some capoeira shit and go right to the head spin.
02:06:29.000 When you spin on your head, right to capoeira.
02:06:31.000 And then slide your legs out.
02:06:33.000 Yeah.
02:06:35.000 Yeah.
02:06:37.000 It would be a great way to pass the guard.
02:06:40.000 I think we're done.
02:06:41.000 Are you guys bored yet?
02:06:45.000 Ladies and gentlemen, talk about Aoki.
02:06:48.000 Yeah, let's talk about that real quick because you're here.
02:06:50.000 What did you think about the Shinya Aoki Gilbert Melendez fight?
02:06:53.000 Very interesting fight.
02:06:56.000 You know, Gilbert Melendez is awesome in the guard, and he did a great job at staying away from any danger in it.
02:07:04.000 I think maybe once or twice, Aoki had him in mission control and smashed him against the cage.
02:07:11.000 Melendez is a bad motherfucker.
02:07:12.000 Yeah, he's very good.
02:07:13.000 Gilbert has awesome timing.
02:07:15.000 His stand-up was wicked.
02:07:17.000 He stayed on top of him.
02:07:18.000 You know, I mean, the only way that strategy was going to work for him, you know, avoiding the guard was if he could beat him in the stand-up exchanges.
02:07:24.000 You know, and he definitely did.
02:07:25.000 He beat him in all the stand-up exchanges.
02:07:26.000 He took him that hard.
02:07:27.000 He looked involved.
02:07:28.000 He beat his ass, you know.
02:07:29.000 That really could have been that.
02:07:31.000 Aoki had that wrist once in the first round that was good.
02:07:34.000 Yeah, man.
02:07:36.000 I mean, he got the arm trapped a couple times, but he just pulled right the fuck out of it.
02:07:41.000 And it was never in any danger at all.
02:07:43.000 So that was a big fight for him.
02:07:44.000 Aoki's just not as good with the fucking with regular shorts.
02:07:47.000 So is Jay Shields contract done strike force?
02:07:49.000 Supposedly, yeah, which is amazing.
02:07:51.000 If they really let him fight without a contract saying that if he wins that he's still on contract.
02:07:57.000 Yeah I don't know how that stuff works.
02:07:59.000 I didn't know you could do that.
02:08:00.000 I guess you can.
02:08:01.000 If you're not willing to sign a new contract, I guess they just have to deal with what they've got.
02:08:06.000 I think Jake Shields was upset because he felt like they were not respecting him.
02:08:16.000 They didn't promote him enough.
02:08:18.000 Most of the promotion that they had was mentioning Dan Henderson and not him.
02:08:24.000 Because he was at his last fight.
02:08:27.000 Yeah.
02:08:28.000 And they wanted it to be a big deal.
02:08:30.000 I mean, Dan's a legend, two-time pride champion, you know, in two different weight classes.
02:08:35.000 So that was a big deal for them, a big acquisition.
02:08:37.000 They thought he was going to be their big star.
02:08:39.000 So they were hoping that Jake Shields would lose, I guess.
02:08:42.000 Yeah, give him the Yeah, I mean, this first fight.
02:08:49.000 First fight in the organization is a title fight, you know, on CBS. And, uh, crazy-ass fucking fight, too, man.
02:08:56.000 Who would have ever thought that Jake Shields would be able to take Dan Henderson down that many times?
02:08:59.000 It's our pizza watcher.
02:09:01.000 I gotta go.
02:09:03.000 Alright.
02:09:04.000 Then that's it, ladies and gentlemen.
02:09:05.000 This was the first annual 420 podcast.
02:09:09.000 I think we got some good shit we talked about in there.
02:09:12.000 Pretty good, pretty good.
02:09:13.000 I don't think we lost the training conversation too much.
02:09:16.000 We got on the testing potato chips.
02:09:17.000 Next year.
02:09:18.000 Make it happen.