The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #172 - Bryan Callen

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by The Fleshlight.

00:00:08.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net and click on the link for The Fleshlight and then enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.

00:00:18.000 It is an excellent alternative to masturbation without it. 0.87

00:00:23.000 I recommend it. 0.79

00:00:24.000 Brian, do you recommend it?

00:00:25.000 I like it a lot.

00:00:26.000 It's awesome.

00:00:27.000 I'm using it right now.

00:00:28.000 It comes in different shapes.

00:00:29.000 You can get buttholes, mouths, you can get whatever you're down for. 1.00

00:00:34.000 Even like vampire mouths.

00:00:35.000 Oh, that hurts.

00:00:36.000 Go get some. 1.00

00:00:38.000 Alien mouths or alien vaginas, right? 1.00

00:00:40.000 I need an Easter Bunny flashlight. 1.00

00:00:42.000 Ew. 1.00

00:00:43.000 It needs to look like a bunny's vagina. 1.00

00:00:45.000 Just cross the line, fella. 1.00

00:00:46.000 Could you imagine?

00:00:47.000 With, like, real rabbit hair on it.

00:00:49.000 Ooh.

00:00:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:50.000 Or the fake rabbit hair.

00:00:52.000 Like, when you see those rabbit foots that truck stops that are so creepy, it looks like there's, like, a hard bubble gum in the middle of it. 0.99

00:00:56.000 My buddy was a cop in San Francisco, and he found a, uh, uh, this guy had a sheet, a Chinese guy had this sheet over his lap, And my buddy goes, something's going on with that fucking sheet. 0.92

00:01:09.000 And that guy's parked in a weird place. 0.96

00:01:11.000 And that's weird. 1.00

00:01:12.000 And he found that the guy was fucking a chicken. 1.00

00:01:16.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:01:17.000 A live chicken. 1.00

00:01:19.000 He was fucking a chicken. 1.00

00:01:20.000 Let's start with your mom. 1.00

00:01:22.000 What went wrong in your childhood here? 1.00

00:01:24.000 Did you fuck it in the egg hole? 1.00

00:01:26.000 Did you fuck his... 1.00

00:01:27.000 Yeah, he's fucking poultry. 1.00

00:01:28.000 I guess that's where you fuck a chicken, right? 1.00

00:01:30.000 In his egg hole? 1.00

00:01:30.000 I guess so. 1.00

00:01:31.000 Oh, I never thought of that.

00:01:33.000 In the egg hole?

00:01:34.000 Jesus Christ. 0.96

00:01:35.000 Gross! 0.99

00:01:36.000 I never even thought of that! 1.00

00:01:37.000 I didn't even know where he would fuck a chicken. 1.00

00:01:39.000 There's like straw inside of it. 1.00

00:01:41.000 That's exactly right. 1.00

00:01:43.000 When is his website dedicated to dudes who fuck chickens? 1.00

00:01:46.000 There's got to be enough people who fuck chickens out there to start a movement. 1.00

00:01:50.000 Have you seen Nick Schwartzen's bit on that? 1.00

00:01:53.000 He goes, man, before the internet, if you had a fetish, it must have sucked because you had to feel people out. 0.99

00:01:57.000 You'd be like at dinner and you'd go, hey, I'm going to go to the bathroom, or I could just piss on your face. 1.00

00:02:02.000 I'm just kidding. 0.99

00:02:05.000 That's so true.

00:02:07.000 It's so funny, man.

00:02:08.000 You know the story about the documentary Zoo? 0.97

00:02:11.000 It was based on those guys in Seattle that would go and have sex with animals? 0.86

00:02:15.000 There were zoo files. 0.95

00:02:16.000 You didn't know this?

00:02:17.000 Wait, how to buy a zoo?

00:02:18.000 No, no, no.

00:02:19.000 It was just called Zoo, and it was about zoophilia, if that's the correct way of pronouncing it.

00:02:24.000 It's people who are attracted to animals, and they would go, and in Washington State, it was legal. 1.00

00:02:30.000 Real hot shit. 0.99

00:02:31.000 Up until this movie, until this documentary came out. 1.00

00:02:33.000 This guy died. 1.00

00:02:34.000 He got fucked to death by a horse. 1.00

00:02:36.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:02:37.000 I've heard about that.

00:02:38.000 Yeah, I've told you about this.

00:02:39.000 I know I have.

00:02:40.000 I've heard that the guy got...

00:02:41.000 They brought him to the hospital.

00:02:43.000 He had bled out.

00:02:43.000 And then the people that brought him in all got arrested.

00:02:46.000 And they said, what the fuck's going on? 0.98

00:02:48.000 And somebody cracked. 0.99

00:02:49.000 And then they took him back to the barn.

00:02:51.000 You can't crack in that situation, dude.

00:02:52.000 You gotta go, I don't know, man.

00:02:54.000 Stick to your guns!

00:02:55.000 He was trying to jump over his fence post or something.

00:02:59.000 Yeah, the thing for Eclines.

00:03:00.000 You can't tell the truth.

00:03:02.000 You can't tell. 1.00

00:03:02.000 You go to jail for fucking a horse? 1.00

00:03:04.000 That's weird. 1.00

00:03:05.000 But you bring a dude to the hospital and his asshole's bleeding and there's some kind of sperm all over the place. 1.00

00:03:12.000 I have no idea who he is. 1.00

00:03:13.000 They didn't clean his ass, I'm sure. 1.00

00:03:16.000 Once that thing blasted in him. 1.00

00:03:18.000 His chicken hole.

00:03:19.000 The whole thing is just so crazy that there was hundreds of hours of footage of this stuff.

00:03:23.000 And they found each other on the internet.

00:03:25.000 You know what they find with a lot of people like that?

00:03:27.000 They have an inability to feel as deeply as a lot of other people.

00:03:30.000 So they have to go extreme.

00:03:32.000 That's what happens.

00:03:33.000 It's a term for like a banality.

00:03:38.000 There's a pathology where you essentially are numb to most of what goes on.

00:03:43.000 So they found this serial killer in England.

00:03:46.000 He was a doctor.

00:03:48.000 And he had, when they found out he was doing all kinds of terrible things, in fact, I think he was the guy they did, they based Silence of the Lambs on, the guy, you know, he ate people. 0.99

00:03:56.000 And they found that he had fucking, like, 25 pins in his testicles and a bunch of hat pins in his anus. 0.99

00:04:05.000 He was sticking them all the way to his anus. 0.99

00:04:06.000 And they were like, you know, when the psychiatrist found that it was because he couldn't feel anything, and he had to do that just to feel something. 0.96

00:04:16.000 Like, he always walked around numb.

00:04:18.000 And so the only way to get kind of a rush was to stick, hey, hey, he's a doctor, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99

00:04:25.000 Hey, doc, I got a pain in my balls. 0.98

00:04:29.000 He was a doctor in England. 0.97

00:04:31.000 Jesus Christ.

00:04:32.000 You don't need a doctor to get alpha brain, Joe Rogan.

00:04:35.000 We're still doing commercials.

00:04:37.000 This is the beauty of the organic commercial. 0.97

00:04:40.000 Anyway, go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for the fleshlight, enter in the code name ROGAN, 15% off, bitch. 1.00

00:04:48.000 Also, we're brought to you by Onnit.com. 0.73

00:04:50.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Makers of Alpha Brain. 1.00

00:04:54.000 Did I ever give you any of that shit? 1.00

00:04:55.000 Yes. 1.00

00:04:56.000 Did you enjoy that shit? 1.00

00:04:57.000 I didn't really feel a big difference, but then again, I don't know. 1.00

00:05:01.000 I only took two pills.

00:05:03.000 Just once?

00:05:04.000 You didn't try it for a while?

00:05:04.000 Yeah, just once.

00:05:05.000 You didn't feel anything?

00:05:06.000 You don't know?

00:05:07.000 I mean, it's hard to tell.

00:05:08.000 It's hard to tell.

00:05:09.000 I had a lucid dream, Joe, that somebody broke into my car.

00:05:12.000 I want to know, if I take Shroom Tech, what helped my dreams?

00:05:15.000 Because my car got broken into and somebody took off with my car and it ran outside. 0.99

00:05:19.000 I'm like, eh, fuck this. 0.99

00:05:21.000 I'm not going to chase these. 1.00

00:05:22.000 You took Shroom Tech, you think?

00:05:23.000 It caused that dream?

00:05:24.000 Yeah.

00:05:24.000 But then I was lazy in my dream.

00:05:25.000 I didn't want to chase a dream car around.

00:05:27.000 I was like, no, I'm not motivated enough to chase a dream car.

00:05:30.000 But when it comes to the...

00:05:31.000 If you examine the statement, the efficiency of your brain.

00:05:35.000 So your brain would work more efficiently than otherwise. 0.99

00:05:38.000 I would imagine that if I were to put you in a life and death situation or if I were to put you in a situation where that really counted, your brain would work better or at least more efficiently or at least more alertly Then would your brain if we were just sitting around shooting shit, right? 0.99

00:05:55.000 So you should play chess in Iraq. 0.99

00:05:58.000 That's exactly right.

00:05:59.000 Well, when you're playing, you know how those guys play cards and they let a bull loose?

00:06:04.000 Right.

00:06:04.000 You ever seen that?

00:06:05.000 Yes.

00:06:05.000 And the guy who gets up from the table to last is the winner.

00:06:10.000 Jesus Christ, that makes my dick hurt just thinking about it. 1.00

00:06:12.000 That is the craziest shit in the world. 0.99

00:06:15.000 But, you know, the reality of consciousness is that we have ebbs and lulls, and we have moments where we can't remember things, and we have, where the fuck did I put my key moments? 0.99

00:06:27.000 Well, you have your days where you're, you know, whatever your connection, whatever the full symbiotic connection of things that's going on to make your mind function work.

00:06:36.000 A lot of that, they think, has to do with hormones, too, right?

00:06:38.000 Sure, that's definitely part of it.

00:06:39.000 So when you have an insulin overload...

00:06:41.000 Apparently that can cause, sugar can cause, too much sugar can cause sort of what they call clouding of the brain.

00:06:47.000 I never used to believe that sugar is bad for you until as I got older I started looking like more.

00:06:52.000 I love sugar. 1.00

00:06:52.000 I love like delicious like chocolate cake and shit. 1.00

00:06:56.000 Yeah, which is fine once in a while, but if you look at the literature. 1.00

00:06:59.000 Not fucking good for you at all. 0.97

00:07:00.000 It's like drinking. 0.99

00:07:01.000 It's like getting hammered.

00:07:02.000 There's a guy named Robert Lustig and another guy named Scott Conley, both doctors, and another science writer named Gary Taub, who wrote a couple of great books.

00:07:11.000 One is Good Calories, Bad Calories, and another book that was a follow-up to that book, which is a shorter book called I Think What Makes Us Fat or Why We Get Fat.

00:07:18.000 And through 20 years of research and more, and by the way, Barry Sears, who was, I think, a scientist over at MIT who was one of the pioneers in time-release drugs, and he also wrote The Zone.

00:07:31.000 Well, if you look at all their research, and these guys are on a clinical level, and they're looking at what happens to your body, they're trying to measure things like inflammation in the body, which is very difficult to do, but they're doing all these things.

00:07:41.000 What they found is that insulin, which is this mother hormone, is directly related to a lot of health issues.

00:07:50.000 So when you look at athletes or you look at people trying to be healthy, the idea is to eat foods that keep your insulin somewhat neutral.

00:07:57.000 Because otherwise, when you eat foods that oxidize as sugar, glucose in your system right away, you run into a host of, you can measure that there are a host of health problems And so, a guy like Robert Lustig just came out with this long hour and a half speech that he gave somewhere.

00:08:19.000 And Gary Taubes kind of conferred in the New York Times saying, he said, I think sugar is a toxin.

00:08:24.000 I don't think it's bad for you.

00:08:25.000 I think it's a toxin.

00:08:26.000 Which is kind of a radical thing where you go, well, come on, man.

00:08:29.000 So he said, yeah, so the soda you give to your child is doing your child harm.

00:08:34.000 It doesn't just rot the kid's teeth.

00:08:36.000 It's doing the child harm, and here are the host of reasons for it.

00:08:40.000 And if you actually look at the literature, and then more importantly, if you look at what athletes are doing, and especially Olympic athletes, they stay away from sugar for the most part.

00:08:50.000 It's a smart move.

00:08:51.000 Yeah.

00:08:51.000 Staying away from sugar does make your body feel different.

00:08:54.000 There are natural sugars that your body can use, and sometimes your body needs a glycogen, you know?

00:08:58.000 Yeah.

00:08:59.000 Anyway, Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. Yeah, by the way, I don't know where I got my degree. 1.00

00:09:04.000 Hey, everybody, listen to Brian Callen.

00:09:06.000 Yeah, I'm talking about sugar, by the way.

00:09:08.000 Listen to Brian Callen.

00:09:09.000 Listen, there's probably some...

00:09:10.000 Let's talk about pepper, guys.

00:09:11.000 I know it's not good for you.

00:09:14.000 We have AlphaBrain, which is the cognitive-enhancing supplement, and there's also...

00:09:19.000 Shroom Tech.

00:09:20.000 And Shroom Tech comes in two forms.

00:09:22.000 It comes in Shroom Tech Sport, which I don't recommend unless you're like a real serious workout fiend.

00:09:27.000 Would that have helped me in my dream, though?

00:09:28.000 I don't know, maybe.

00:09:29.000 Would I have chased that car and been able to catch that burglar?

00:09:32.000 Maybe you would have had some extra endurance in your dream if you were on Shroom Tech. 0.98

00:09:35.000 Imagine if there was some shit that you could take that could specifically charge your dreams in a certain direction. 0.99

00:09:42.000 Shroom brain. 0.99

00:09:43.000 You know what?

00:09:43.000 One of the things in alpha brain that they believe is making people have such vivid dreams is B6. Yeah.

00:09:49.000 Apparently vitamin B6 gives you some pretty fucking vivid dreams. 0.96

00:09:52.000 Really? 0.95

00:09:52.000 And that's in alpha brain as well. 0.95

00:09:54.000 It's called alpha tech.

00:09:55.000 But if you're having vivid dreams, doesn't that mean you're getting REM sleep, which is the sleep you need?

00:10:00.000 Not necessarily.

00:10:01.000 I mean, yeah, you need REM sleep, but I believe there's a deeper cycle than REM sleep.

00:10:05.000 I don't believe REM is like the deepest cycle of sleep.

00:10:08.000 But when you dream, isn't that when you're having the deepest sleep?

00:10:11.000 But that's in REM sleep.

00:10:12.000 Yeah.

00:10:13.000 As far as they can, you know, I mean, who knows?

00:10:16.000 You might dream in the deepest states as well.

00:10:19.000 They just can't figure it out.

00:10:20.000 Who knows? 1.00

00:10:21.000 I don't really understand how they can figure out exactly what the fuck is going on in your head. 0.97

00:10:25.000 I guess it's electrical signals or something. 0.96

00:10:28.000 Yeah, well, they're getting better and better at that, but I don't know. 0.99

00:10:30.000 It's crazy shit when you really stop and think about it. 0.99

00:10:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:33.000 You shut off for eight hours a night.

00:10:35.000 You just sort of accept it.

00:10:37.000 You just disappear.

00:10:39.000 Yeah, some people, not many, but some people can recharge in four hours versus eight hours, which is really weird.

00:10:45.000 And they think maybe that's correlated to testosterone, too.

00:10:49.000 People with higher testosterone sometimes need less sleep.

00:10:52.000 That's why I only sleep about an hour a night.

00:10:54.000 He was always saying that.

00:10:56.000 Arnold was always saying that.

00:10:57.000 Really?

00:10:58.000 Yeah, I only sleep a few hours a night.

00:11:00.000 Why would you want to do it?

00:11:02.000 That's the best.

00:11:04.000 Just up fucking all the time. 0.99

00:11:07.000 I have no time for sleeping. 1.00

00:11:09.000 Your register is about that.

00:11:11.000 Look at my watch. 1.00

00:11:12.000 It says, time to give someone dick. 1.00

00:11:14.000 Time to. 1.00

00:11:15.000 Anyway.

00:11:16.000 As we say with all of our products at Onnit.com, what else did I leave out?

00:11:21.000 Oh, New Mood, which is the 5-HTP supplement.

00:11:25.000 5-HTP and L-Tryptophan.

00:11:27.000 There's a bunch of other things in it as well.

00:11:29.000 And it gives you...

00:11:30.000 A nice little serotonin boost.

00:11:33.000 And the Shroom Tech Immune, this is the new one, and as far as I understand it, the way it works is that it's a different mushroom, and this mushroom gives your body the impression that it's under attack by like a bug, you know, like a cold or something like that.

00:11:47.000 So your immune system fires up for an attack that never comes.

00:11:51.000 That's cool.

00:11:51.000 So it just boosts your immune system up, yeah.

00:11:53.000 It's called Shroom Tech Immune.

00:11:56.000 Anyway, and as I say with all of these things, The ingredients are available on Onnit.com.

00:12:01.000 Go to O-N-N-I-T. And if you think it costs too much money, if you have any sort of argument about pricing, go buy it in the cheapest form, steal the ingredient list, and make it yourself.

00:12:12.000 You can do it, and you probably will save money.

00:12:13.000 And good luck to you.

00:12:15.000 The most important thing is I don't want anybody buying anything that doesn't want to buy anything.

00:12:21.000 If you don't want to, that's totally cool.

00:12:23.000 If you buy it and you don't like it, you get 100% money back.

00:12:27.000 So, it couldn't be any possibly fair.

00:12:30.000 Like, you don't even have to return the product.

00:12:32.000 If you don't like it, if you try any of this stuff, and it doesn't work, just say it doesn't work, I want my money back.

00:12:37.000 Boom.

00:12:37.000 It's that simple.

00:12:40.000 And I can't make it any easier.

00:12:42.000 It's trying to make it as neutral and as honest as possible.

00:12:47.000 But I enjoy all these supplements.

00:12:49.000 I use them.

00:12:50.000 They're awesome.

00:12:51.000 And go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link for AlphaBrain, enter in the code name ROGAN, and you will get 10% off.

00:12:57.000 Or not.

00:12:57.000 Or don't even buy it.

00:12:58.000 And your own podcast.

00:13:00.000 Podcast.

00:13:00.000 And here's my podcast.

00:13:01.000 Ready to start right now.

00:13:02.000 Hit it! 1.00

00:13:05.000 That wasn't really a hit.

00:13:05.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:13:09.000 Podcast by night.

00:13:10.000 All day!

00:13:11.000 What is that weird effect that you always do at the end of that where you make it all wonky?

00:13:24.000 I know.

00:13:25.000 Why do you do that?

00:13:26.000 I'm taking drum lessons and I was trying to play that riff.

00:13:29.000 Yeah!

00:13:31.000 Dudes that would play drums at a diner and be serious about it.

00:13:36.000 How about the guy that would bring his drumsticks places?

00:13:39.000 The greatest.

00:13:39.000 And stick them in his back pocket with a bandana.

00:13:42.000 Just play with his drumsticks.

00:13:43.000 I just got drumming in my blood.

00:13:45.000 Well, Brody would do it, but on stage.

00:13:47.000 Brody's a really good drummer.

00:13:48.000 He is.

00:13:49.000 He would carry those sticks around all the time.

00:13:50.000 Part of his act, yeah. 0.99

00:13:52.000 Brody would get up on stage and have chairs, put chairs up there, and do like a fucking drum show. 0.98

00:13:57.000 I've been in the band. 0.99

00:13:58.000 I'm in the band.

00:13:59.000 You know that.

00:14:00.000 I'm an honorary member of Don Barris' air band.

00:14:03.000 Well, I didn't know that there was a whole Don Barris air band.

00:14:06.000 It's called the Barris Kennedy Overdrive, first of all.

00:14:09.000 Second of all, I play 32 different air instruments, one of which is the baby.

00:14:14.000 I take a baby out and I blow on its stomach and then I throw it into the audience. 0.99

00:14:17.000 That's one of the things I do.

00:14:18.000 I play the harp, I play the cello, I play the violin, and I play the 13-year-old Filipino boy.

00:14:27.000 And that's when I sodomize him.

00:14:29.000 What? 0.89

00:14:30.000 No, he's 17. 13 is a...

00:14:31.000 That's not right.

00:14:32.000 It's 17, which is legal in some states. 0.93

00:14:34.000 And I mock, sodomize a 17-year-old Filipino boy as he screams, that's part of the music. 1.00

00:14:40.000 So they all play drums. 1.00

00:14:41.000 What the fuck is this? 0.99

00:14:43.000 Oh, dude. 0.99

00:14:44.000 At 2 o'clock in Comedy Store, Don Barris, he's the last guy to perform every single time, and he has the Barris-Kennedy overdrive.

00:14:52.000 And they play music, and he has an air band up there.

00:14:55.000 He lip-syncs.

00:14:57.000 Brody plays the drums.

00:14:59.000 And then he's got various guitarists.

00:15:01.000 Tony Hinchcliffe.

00:15:02.000 Yep.

00:15:02.000 And then I, when I'm there, I get up and I'm a guest performer.

00:15:06.000 And I start with the guitar and I'm also a guest singer.

00:15:09.000 And then we play like five, six songs and it's all air instruments.

00:15:13.000 But I have my own air instruments.

00:15:15.000 I play humans and I play... 0.99

00:15:18.000 Fucking, you know, things that most people don't. 0.99

00:15:20.000 Don't you have a job? 1.00

00:15:21.000 Yes, I do.

00:15:22.000 Yes, I do.

00:15:23.000 My girl is really happy when I come home at 3 in the morning. 1.00

00:15:25.000 She's like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:15:26.000 I'm like, the band was playing late. 1.00

00:15:29.000 She's like, you're in your 40s, you fucking loser. 1.00

00:15:33.000 Get away from me. 1.00

00:15:34.000 I always feel like that after watching that, too.

00:15:37.000 Just watching it.

00:15:38.000 Like, I'll go there and be like, why am I here at 2 a.m.

00:15:40.000 watching an air band at the comedy store?

00:15:41.000 It's always like seven alcoholics in my four comics.

00:15:44.000 And we play like we're playing for...

00:15:46.000 Is it entertaining?

00:15:47.000 Yeah.

00:15:48.000 For me!

00:15:49.000 For me!

00:15:50.000 It's really fun to watch.

00:15:51.000 Don Barris is so hilarious.

00:15:52.000 I want to get him to do it at the Death Squad soon.

00:15:54.000 Don Barris is one of the funniest people in the world nobody knows. 0.96

00:15:57.000 That dude kills me.

00:15:57.000 He's a great personality, too.

00:15:59.000 He's great.

00:16:00.000 I always enjoyed hanging out with Don Barris.

00:16:01.000 We do a sketch every single time we see each other.

00:16:04.000 Every single time.

00:16:06.000 Yeah, he's one of those guys.

00:16:07.000 Every time.

00:16:07.000 You could just start something up with him and he would just go with it.

00:16:09.000 He'll be talking.

00:16:10.000 There's all these people and I go by and I go, hey, Dan, I don't want to embarrass you in front of everybody, but I need my money.

00:16:15.000 I need my money.

00:16:16.000 And he'd go, what?

00:16:17.000 I go, look, man, I'm sorry, but it's been a month now.

00:16:20.000 I really need to see my money.

00:16:21.000 He'll owe me 10 grand.

00:16:22.000 He goes, you embarrass me in front of all my friends like this?

00:16:24.000 I go, look, I don't want any trouble. 1.00

00:16:25.000 He goes, the fuck over here? 1.00

00:16:26.000 And he slaps me on my knees and then he mock mouth rapes me and bites. 1.00

00:16:30.000 And then I beg him as he's doing it. 1.00

00:16:32.000 I'm going, don't go in my mouth!

00:16:33.000 Don't go in my mouth, please! 1.00

00:16:34.000 He's like, shut the fuck up! 1.00

00:16:36.000 He didn't take it! 1.00

00:16:37.000 And I'm like, no!

00:16:38.000 No! 1.00

00:16:41.000 And he's like, fuck! 1.00

00:16:42.000 How close are you getting mouth to his dick? 1.00

00:16:44.000 I'm right up against his dick! 1.00

00:16:46.000 Get the fuck out of here! 1.00

00:16:47.000 It's all about the fucking sketch! 1.00

00:16:49.000 Oh my god! 1.00

00:16:50.000 Your mouth is on his dick! 1.00

00:16:53.000 Get the fuck out of here! 1.00

00:16:54.000 Strike two, Joe. 1.00

00:16:55.000 And then he dumps in my, he mock dumps in my mouth. 0.87

00:16:57.000 Oh my.

00:16:57.000 And then he pushes me away and I lie there in the fetal position.

00:17:00.000 And everybody around us doesn't know what the fuck just happened. 0.98

00:17:02.000 And then he just kind of pretends to zip his pants up. 0.99

00:17:05.000 And he goes, sorry about that.

00:17:06.000 And goes back to his conversation.

00:17:06.000 Has he ever gotten a little hard?

00:17:08.000 Uh, not that I know of.

00:17:10.000 But then it's all a blur for me.

00:17:11.000 So what do I do?

00:17:13.000 I just commit to the sketch.

00:17:14.000 How many times have you done a sketch?

00:17:16.000 Mm-mm.

00:17:17.000 No more than 50, 60 times, to be honest.

00:17:19.000 I like to limit myself.

00:17:20.000 No more than 50. Every single time I see him.

00:17:23.000 Every time you see him.

00:17:24.000 So every time you see him, you've run up to him and shoved your mouth on his couch.

00:17:27.000 No, no. 0.99

00:17:28.000 Every time I see him, I go, I just ask for my fucking money that he owes me my 10 grand. 0.98

00:17:32.000 Oh, there's different results. 0.99

00:17:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:34.000 And then Oh, I see, I see. 1.00

00:17:35.000 And then first he'll either beat me up and then fuck my mouth. 1.00

00:17:38.000 And then I beg him not to drop a nut. 1.00

00:17:41.000 Oh my God.

00:17:42.000 And you know, he's so committed and it looks so real.

00:17:45.000 Jesus!

00:17:45.000 And people actually think something like that is going on as I'm begging him.

00:17:48.000 How many times has your mouth touched his dick? 1.00

00:17:51.000 Dude, no more than, I mean, this is a stupid question. 1.00

00:17:54.000 Look, I'm a straight man. 1.00

00:17:55.000 Maybe 30 times, 40 times. 0.99

00:17:57.000 I don't know what the fuck, why I'm being grilled. 0.99

00:17:59.000 I'll get some video of it. 0.99

00:18:00.000 Why do I have to be, you gotta get video on it.

00:18:02.000 Yeah, I want to slow it down.

00:18:04.000 Because people think we're serious.

00:18:05.000 Because I go up casually, I go, I act like I'm a little afraid of them already.

00:18:09.000 I'm like, Don, I don't want to bother you, but you know, I need my $10,000.

00:18:11.000 It's been a month.

00:18:13.000 He goes, he's like, what'd you say?

00:18:15.000 I go, I need my money.

00:18:16.000 He goes, you're going to embarrass me in front of all my friends like this?

00:18:18.000 I go, no, I'm not trying to embarrass you.

00:18:19.000 I just need, I really need the money.

00:18:20.000 I'm having trouble paying my rent. 0.97

00:18:22.000 And he goes, yeah, dude, you say, get the fuck out of here. 0.86

00:18:24.000 And he pushes me away. 0.90

00:18:24.000 And then I come back and ask him a second time. 0.90

00:18:26.000 So might as well do it that way. 0.99

00:18:28.000 And then he's just fucking had it. 0.99

00:18:29.000 And he just slaps me to my knees and mouth raves me. 0.99

00:18:33.000 I'm a grown man, ladies and gentlemen.

00:18:35.000 That's right. 1.00

00:18:36.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

00:18:37.000 How did I not know this about you? 1.00

00:18:39.000 It's called comedy.

00:18:40.000 How did I not know this about you, though?

00:18:41.000 Dude, he's so much fun to do bits with.

00:18:43.000 Was this all comedy store stuff? 0.99

00:18:45.000 All comedy store shit. 1.00

00:18:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:47.000 When did you start doing this?

00:18:48.000 How many years ago?

00:18:48.000 Like four.

00:18:49.000 Yeah, that's when I stopped going there.

00:18:51.000 Yeah.

00:18:51.000 This is post me at the comedy store.

00:18:54.000 That's all we do, dude.

00:18:55.000 That's all we ever did there. 1.00

00:18:57.000 Have you ever had a man's finger in your asshole? 1.00

00:19:00.000 No, I haven't. 1.00

00:19:01.000 I have had a man's thumb in my asshole, and I think I told that story last time I was on a Rogan podcast. 0.99

00:19:05.000 Yeah, you don't remember? 1.00

00:19:06.000 Yeah, I thought that I was just...

00:19:07.000 The Jimmy Burke story.

00:19:08.000 Yeah, it was a thumb.

00:19:09.000 Yeah, he told that story.

00:19:10.000 Made out with a tranny and had a... 1.00

00:19:12.000 Is he reading this off Twitter? 0.95

00:19:13.000 No, no, I'm not.

00:19:14.000 I'm looking.

00:19:15.000 Look what I'm looking at.

00:19:16.000 I'm just spaced out.

00:19:17.000 I was like, wait, was he the one that got...

00:19:19.000 Yes, yes.

00:19:20.000 Sorry, I do a lot of podcasts.

00:19:21.000 There was a bunch of other stories as well.

00:19:23.000 He was also the same guy. 0.97

00:19:25.000 So every time you come here, you bring us a new story that involves getting man raped. 1.00

00:19:29.000 A new story that involves gay shit. 1.00

00:19:30.000 By the way, by the way, I don't know. 1.00

00:19:32.000 By the way, forget all the gay stuff. 1.00

00:19:34.000 Are you aware of where... 0.95

00:19:36.000 That was simple. 1.00

00:19:37.000 Guys, let's drop the gay shit. 1.00

00:19:39.000 Listen, guys, nobody cares about that. 1.00

00:19:41.000 It's getting personal.

00:19:42.000 I don't want to talk about how many times my mouth is about.

00:19:44.000 30, 40, whatever.

00:19:46.000 All of a sudden, you guys are a bunch of purists.

00:19:49.000 I'm offering up this information.

00:19:50.000 It's not like I'm trying to hide it. 1.00

00:19:52.000 You suck 40 cocks and now you're gay. 1.00

00:19:53.000 I don't think it's anything. 1.00

00:19:54.000 Whatever.

00:19:55.000 You are aware, I hope you are aware, I don't know if you watched the Nat Geo thing called Great White Invasion, I believe it's called.

00:20:01.000 You know that the Santa Monica Pier has a large concentration of great whites swimming between the pylons.

00:20:10.000 You aware of that?

00:20:11.000 What?

00:20:12.000 Oh! 0.60

00:20:12.000 Oh, you didn't know that. 0.60

00:20:13.000 What a good way to get us off the gay subject. 1.00

00:20:16.000 Yeah. 0.87

00:20:16.000 The opposite sharks. 0.87

00:20:18.000 My two favorite topics.

00:20:19.000 They got missiles pointed right at them, bro.

00:20:22.000 My two favorite topics are dudes getting tricked into blowing guys and animals that can kill you.

00:20:28.000 Sharks.

00:20:29.000 That's me all day.

00:20:30.000 So how many are we talking about?

00:20:32.000 How many sharks?

00:20:33.000 Well, at one point they were tagging them and what they found was they would follow them after they would tag them and they were all coming into four and five foot deep water at the Santa Monica Pier.

00:20:45.000 That's crazy.

00:20:45.000 And all around there where some of the largest concentration of great whites at any given time can be.

00:20:50.000 How about that?

00:20:51.000 Now...

00:20:52.000 Largest concentration of great whites in the country? 0.99

00:20:54.000 Or in the world?

00:20:55.000 It can't be in the world, right?

00:20:56.000 I think it's called great white invasion, okay? 0.99

00:20:58.000 They don't know why they're coming so close to the shore, but shark ecologists think that's a good sign.

00:21:04.000 What?

00:21:05.000 Seems like a slaughterhouse for homeless people.

00:21:07.000 Dude, they stalk seals. 0.99

00:21:08.000 Here's what's fucking incredible, okay? 0.99

00:21:10.000 There are great whites, and if you take a helicopter ride over Malibu, you can YouTube it right now. 0.99

00:21:16.000 Just go, great white Malibu. 0.88

00:21:18.000 And you'll see a helicopter shooting a website thing.

00:21:20.000 And there was like an 18-footer just swimming around just about, you know, I don't know, a quarter mile, less than, it was probably an eighth of a mile offshore.

00:21:28.000 You know, let's call it 300 yards offshore. 0.99

00:21:30.000 That shit happens all day. 0.99

00:21:32.000 And by the way, they are eating seals all the time. 1.00

00:21:36.000 Surfers are always in the water. 0.98

00:21:38.000 They know you're in the water and they don't fucking bite you because it's got to be the perfect storm. 0.98

00:21:42.000 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

00:21:43.000 What the fuck ever. 0.99

00:21:44.000 Whatever, it's got to be the perfect storm. 0.99

00:21:46.000 Exactly.

00:21:46.000 It's called an 18-foot fish that takes 100-pound bites.

00:21:51.000 The one that freaked me out the most.

00:21:52.000 I go into the water up to my ankle.

00:21:54.000 That's what I do.

00:21:54.000 My feet stay white.

00:21:55.000 My body's bronze.

00:21:56.000 I went in Hawaii last summer, and I freaked out a little bit while I was in there.

00:22:00.000 I was snorkeling.

00:22:01.000 And I was like, what am I doing?

00:22:03.000 I'm going to be one of my own jokes.

00:22:04.000 I'm going to get eaten by something. 1.00

00:22:06.000 It's fucking stupid. 1.00

00:22:07.000 I was down in West Palm Beach, and I was staying at this place called the Amfi, this really great resort. 1.00

00:22:13.000 And I asked one of the guys, he was parasailing.

00:22:18.000 And I go, any sharks out there?

00:22:20.000 And he goes...

00:22:21.000 Oh yeah, dude.

00:22:22.000 He goes, oh yeah.

00:22:24.000 Oh no, there are times, certain times of the year they put flags, that purple flags, you can't swim because the bull sharks, they're all migrating this way.

00:22:31.000 And then you got the spinners and they'll bite your hand and feet. 0.99

00:22:33.000 I was like, what?

00:22:34.000 What are you talking about?

00:22:35.000 He goes, oh yeah, dude, they're all over the place.

00:22:39.000 He goes, I don't know why people swim in this water.

00:22:41.000 They're crazy because I'm always kite surfing and I stay on my kite surf, dude.

00:22:44.000 Meanwhile, check out how many shark attacks have been in Palm Beach.

00:22:48.000 There was one summer where there were like eight shark attacks.

00:22:50.000 Yeah.

00:22:51.000 Like, biting your leg off.

00:22:53.000 Bull sharks.

00:22:53.000 Well, the bull sharks are so crazy, they'll go way, way inshore.

00:22:56.000 They'll go into fresh water.

00:22:58.000 That's exactly right.

00:22:58.000 They can survive in fresh water.

00:23:00.000 200 miles up the Mississippi.

00:23:01.000 Yeah, they found them near Illinois.

00:23:03.000 Yeah.

00:23:04.000 In fresh water. 1.00

00:23:04.000 Fucking bull sharks. 1.00

00:23:05.000 Fucking sharks, man. 1.00

00:23:06.000 Well, you know the story that inspired Jaws? 1.00

00:23:09.000 That was based on a river attack in New Jersey.

00:23:13.000 It was based on one summer where these bull sharks were jacking people on a river.

00:23:18.000 It wasn't a great white.

00:23:19.000 They went great white for Hollywood when Peter eventually turned it into a... 0.57

00:23:23.000 But I'm pretty sure that's what he was inspired by.

00:23:26.000 I remember it was like this aberration where they were being...

00:23:29.000 They found them way far upriver, man.

00:23:32.000 There was one of those Monster Quest shows where they had freshwater sharks.

00:23:36.000 One of them was the reality. 0.99

00:23:37.000 That was a fun fucking show, even though they never found any monsters. 0.98

00:23:40.000 Well, that's the point of that show. 0.99

00:23:42.000 They got me every week.

00:23:44.000 Even piranhas.

00:23:45.000 Piranhas don't eat you.

00:23:46.000 I always thought if you jumped in the water with piranhas, you got eaten.

00:23:49.000 If you're living, they swim away from you.

00:23:51.000 They don't eat you.

00:23:52.000 The only time a piranha will actually eat you is when they're starving in little mud pools and you put your hand in there and they haven't eaten.

00:23:58.000 They've eaten everything else there and they're starving.

00:24:00.000 They'll bite your hand. 0.76

00:24:00.000 Or if you look sick, they'll eat each other. 0.76

00:24:03.000 Actually, they even put a duck in there, a live duck with a bunch of piranhas.

00:24:08.000 Piranhas swam away.

00:24:09.000 You know I used to have piranhas.

00:24:11.000 Yeah.

00:24:11.000 Yeah, don't listen to that nonsense.

00:24:13.000 Let me tell you something.

00:24:14.000 I remember that.

00:24:14.000 They'll eat anything.

00:24:15.000 It was called Death Row.

00:24:17.000 You had the goldfish on the other side and you called it Death Row.

00:24:20.000 Yeah, that's Death Row.

00:24:21.000 I had two tanks.

00:24:22.000 I had a tank filled with piranhas and then a tank filled with goldfish.

00:24:25.000 And they had to swim around.

00:24:27.000 The goldfish would just swim looking at what they were going to be.

00:24:31.000 Their future.

00:24:31.000 Yeah, their future.

00:24:32.000 They would fuck those goldfish up. 1.00

00:24:34.000 It was wild to see, man. 1.00

00:24:35.000 Yeah, they'll eat fish, I guess.

00:24:36.000 Really wild to see.

00:24:37.000 They don't just eat fish, bro.

00:24:39.000 They'll eat anything.

00:24:40.000 There's videos of them.

00:24:41.000 I never fed them anything other than goldfish, and that's just what they're natural.

00:24:44.000 It's natural for them to eat fish, but I got tired of it.

00:24:47.000 It's too creepy.

00:24:48.000 I mean, it's like it is a part of the food chain and everything, and it's life, and it's natural, and it's just the way it works out in the wild.

00:24:55.000 I mean, animals eat animals, and that's just the way it goes.

00:24:57.000 But there's something about just watching this slaughter every couple days in my house.

00:25:03.000 Put a rat in there. 1.00

00:25:04.000 You gotta look fucking morose, man. 1.00

00:25:05.000 I fucking had a Burmese python and I used to have a feed at rats. 1.00

00:25:08.000 Really? 0.99

00:25:08.000 And you have to stun the rats. 0.99

00:25:10.000 You take them by the tail and you throw them against the wall.

00:25:11.000 Oh, dude!

00:25:12.000 And I just felt bad after a while. 0.99

00:25:14.000 I was like, I gotta kill this great... 0.99

00:25:15.000 You know, rats are kind of cool. 0.99

00:25:17.000 Yeah.

00:25:17.000 Because you can't just let it in there, otherwise the rat will fight back, right?

00:25:20.000 Yeah, and then sometimes the snake gets bit.

00:25:21.000 But here's the other thing.

00:25:22.000 Here's the other thing. 1.00

00:25:23.000 Snakes are fucking boring. 1.00

00:25:24.000 Okay? 1.00

00:25:25.000 How about that?

00:25:25.000 They just sit there and I guess they slither.

00:25:27.000 They're creeps. 0.60

00:25:28.000 I'd rather have a rat than a snake. 1.00

00:25:30.000 Burmese pythons are fucking mean! 0.99

00:25:31.000 My mind got to be eight feet long and the thing was like, it would try to bite you every time you stick your hand in there. 1.00

00:25:36.000 I was like, keep this fucking thing. 0.99

00:25:37.000 Yeah, those are creeps. 1.00

00:25:39.000 Those are monsters, man.

00:25:40.000 They're monsters that get used to you touching them. 1.00

00:25:42.000 They don't give a fuck about you. 1.00

00:25:43.000 It's called a reptile. 1.00

00:25:44.000 Yeah, they never give a fuck about you. 1.00

00:25:45.000 No, they don't give a fuck about you. 1.00

00:25:46.000 Yeah, people are weird, man, with their connections. 0.99

00:25:48.000 Hey, you know that?

00:25:49.000 How about that guy who swims with...

00:25:51.000 He's got a Costa Rican crocodile, 17 feet long, and raised from a baby and swims with it. 1.00

00:25:55.000 I've seen that crazy asshole. 1.00

00:25:57.000 That's the craziest shit in the world I've ever seen. 1.00

00:25:58.000 It's nuts. 1.00

00:25:58.000 That's a fucking Costa Rican crocodile, 17 feet, and he swims with it. 1.00

00:26:03.000 Those are saltwater crocodiles, right? 1.00

00:26:04.000 Yeah.

00:26:04.000 Those are the big ones.

00:26:05.000 Those are the brackish water.

00:26:07.000 They will eat you. 1.00

00:26:07.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

00:26:09.000 Now, I don't believe you could do that. 1.00

00:26:10.000 Costa Rican crocodiles, and I've done the research, they are way more timid than most crocodiles.

00:26:16.000 What?

00:26:17.000 A Nile crocodile.

00:26:18.000 You couldn't do it with. 0.99

00:26:19.000 There's no fucking way because you are as tasty to a Nile crocodile as any food source they have. 0.99

00:26:26.000 It's because Costa Rica is so beautiful. 0.99

00:26:27.000 Even the crocodiles are chill.

00:26:29.000 Even the crocs are chill.

00:26:30.000 That's hilarious.

00:26:31.000 That's exactly what it is.

00:26:32.000 That's nuts.

00:26:33.000 They're actually a little shy. 0.88

00:26:34.000 They're shy crocodiles?

00:26:36.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:26:37.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:26:38.000 Whereas, good luck with a fucking Nile crocodile. 1.00

00:26:41.000 Good luck raising that thing. 0.99

00:26:42.000 It's amazing that there's animals like that that essentially serve...

00:26:45.000 I mean, they must have survived that big asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs.

00:26:50.000 Yeah.

00:26:50.000 The Yucatan one.

00:26:51.000 Yeah.

00:26:51.000 Must have.

00:26:52.000 They had to have.

00:26:53.000 They are dinosaurs.

00:26:54.000 They're older than that, right?

00:26:56.000 They're virtually unchanged for more than 100 million years.

00:26:59.000 When they found that, they found this one skeleton of this huge crocodile where the skull itself was six feet long.

00:27:04.000 Yeah, I heard about that one.

00:27:06.000 And it was basically, if you look at the anatomy of the animal, it was no different than a real crocodile.

00:27:12.000 Just a giant one.

00:27:14.000 Back then, animals were huge that it had to eat, too.

00:27:17.000 Yeah, an ambush predator. 0.96

00:27:18.000 Well, the zoologist, I just did a Raiders show, and the zoologist was on the show in fucking Fort Lauderdale, right? 0.95

00:27:24.000 And the guy's been to Africa 35 times, he's a documentary filmmaker, and he said, he goes, dude, I was in Rwanda, and I watched a giraffe drinking, and a croc come out, grab that giraffe by the head, pull it into the fucking water, drown it, and twist its head off, and then its friends came in and ate the rest of that fucking giraffe, so nobody's safe, okay? 0.85

00:27:47.000 And by the way, you know what else ain't safe? 0.81

00:27:49.000 Baby elephants.

00:27:51.000 When they stick their tusk in the water, they'll grab that trunk and drown it. 0.53

00:27:57.000 They'll eat elephants. 1.00

00:27:58.000 Whatever's in the fucking water. 0.99

00:28:01.000 Oh, and by the way, did I mention that the ones in Tanzania weigh in at over 2,000 pounds? 0.99

00:28:07.000 There's a video.

00:28:08.000 It's one of those iconic ones where one crocodile jumps out of this water hole and grabs...

00:28:15.000 It was a big animal.

00:28:16.000 I think it was a water buffalo or a wildebeest.

00:28:19.000 Probably a wildebeest.

00:28:20.000 They're 350 pound wildebeest. 1.00

00:28:21.000 They grab them around the fucking midsection. 1.00

00:28:23.000 And whip this thing around like it was a children's toy. 1.00

00:28:28.000 You get caught.

00:28:29.000 You're brought under the water.

00:28:30.000 That's it.

00:28:31.000 And it happens in a flash.

00:28:32.000 Huh?

00:28:33.000 Here's a piece of trivia.

00:28:34.000 That's just a part of the world that's going on in the same time as us.

00:28:39.000 That's going on right now.

00:28:39.000 I mean, we're just not there.

00:28:41.000 That's right.

00:28:42.000 There's a spot where if you step in the water in the wrong spot, a monster that lived a hundred million years ago is going to eat you. 0.93

00:28:50.000 As I get older, all I think about is different realities of how some people live your fucking worst nightmare and somehow I'm lucky. 0.99

00:28:59.000 I never lose perspective of that shit. 1.00

00:29:01.000 Look at history. 1.00

00:29:02.000 Look at history.

00:29:03.000 You know, the fact that we live in a society where I don't have to worry about a Mongol horde coming over that hill killing everybody I know. 0.96

00:29:09.000 Not yet, but long as this Obama's in office, I'll tell you what.

00:29:13.000 You've got to stock up on your office. 0.57

00:29:15.000 We're going to get down so pussified.

00:29:17.000 We ain't going to nobody have guns no more.

00:29:20.000 They're going to make it hard to have guns. 0.61

00:29:22.000 Then they're going to take over.

00:29:24.000 By the way, I was going to ask you if you know how big a blue whale's tongue is. 0.99

00:29:31.000 It's fucking huge. 0.98

00:29:32.000 It's the size of an elephant. 1.00

00:29:33.000 God damn. 1.00

00:29:34.000 What about his dick? 1.00

00:29:34.000 A blue whale's tongue. 1.00

00:29:35.000 His heart's the size of a car. 1.00

00:29:37.000 His dick is giganti. 1.00

00:29:39.000 I wonder how big his dick is. 1.00

00:29:40.000 His pictures, they're enormous. 1.00

00:29:42.000 His pictures are hoisting a whale.

00:29:44.000 Well, they're 95 feet long and they weigh 200 tons, I believe.

00:29:49.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:29:50.000 I can't wait for the documentary of the guy that fucks whale cock. 1.00

00:29:52.000 Wait, what were you? 1.00

00:29:53.000 And dies from it.

00:29:54.000 Yeah, it's probably a guy.

00:29:55.000 What were you saying?

00:29:56.000 What were you going to ask me?

00:29:56.000 I don't remember now.

00:29:57.000 He said, were you going to tell me?

00:29:59.000 Oh, the Obama thing, the NDAA that just passed.

00:30:03.000 They just signed it on New Year's Eve.

00:30:05.000 He signed it.

00:30:06.000 What is the NDAA? That was the bill that essentially makes America a battleground, officially classifies it as a battleground so the military can come in and stop civil unrest.

00:30:17.000 And they can detain people indefinitely.

00:30:21.000 They don't have to have warrants anymore.

00:30:23.000 That kind of thing won't get through the Senate.

00:30:25.000 It got through.

00:30:26.000 It got through everything.

00:30:27.000 Obama just signed it.

00:30:28.000 It got through everything.

00:30:30.000 It's done.

00:30:30.000 Touchdown.

00:30:31.000 It's terrifying.

00:30:33.000 It's terrifying.

00:30:34.000 First of all, the use of military is supposed to be strictly prohibited.

00:30:39.000 We don't want to ever consider that our people are the enemy. 0.82

00:30:43.000 That's ridiculous.

00:30:44.000 That's the de facto difference between the FBI and the CIA. The FBI deals with domestic issues. 0.66

00:30:48.000 The CIA is supposed to deal with foreign issues.

00:30:50.000 And by the way, you're never allowed to spy on your own citizens.

00:30:54.000 There's a very, very specific reason for that very strong separation between a foreign power service, a foreign service, and a domestic service.

00:31:04.000 Yeah, when you get to the point where you're just automatically opening up to the idea that you can't trust anybody, that everybody must be able to be scanned and stopped and searched.

00:31:14.000 Well, we were talking...

00:31:15.000 Before the podcast of a book that I'm reading now, and I've read some of his other books, Leon Uris is considered one of the great writers.

00:31:24.000 Leon Uris?

00:31:25.000 What's his first name?

00:31:27.000 U-R-I-S. And Leon Uris writes historical novels.

00:31:30.000 And if you ever want to learn history, you know, whenever you say to somebody, well, you should learn the history of Ireland, the problem with that is that how do you, you know, a lot of young people, I get, like, texts after I do these things or tweets, and they say, hey, can you give me a reading list or whatever?

00:31:42.000 And the problem with educating yourself today is it's very hard to know what to read.

00:31:46.000 It's also very hard if I say, well, you should educate yourself on history.

00:31:49.000 What does that mean?

00:31:50.000 Do I pick up a book on history?

00:31:51.000 I mean, Jesus, who wants to slog through that?

00:31:53.000 No.

00:31:54.000 If you want to learn about history, if you want to learn about a history of the Middle East, you want to learn a history of Ireland, you want to learn a history of the founding of the State of Israel, which I'm reading now, a book called Exodus.

00:32:03.000 If you want to learn about Ireland, read a book called Trinity.

00:32:05.000 If you want to learn about the Arab world, the Middle East, read the Hajj. 1.00

00:32:08.000 Leon Uris is a guy who was a foreign correspondent, Who spent a great deal of time all over the world and happens to be a fucking brilliant writer.

00:32:19.000 He wrote most of his books in the 70s and the 80s and I think even the 60s, but he's considered a great writer.

00:32:25.000 And the point I'm making is that when you talk about how a society and its laws and its government can sneak up on you, if you read Exodus about what happened to the Jews in Poland and in Germany, You're talking about a group of people who lived there for 700 years, and many of them were very well established in all fields, whether it was science, academia, the arts, and things like that.

00:32:51.000 So when all this anti-Semitic behavior started occurring under Hitler's regime, and it started really in, like, 1933, Where stores are being broken in, articles being read about blaming the Jews for everything, people were being dragged out in the street and beaten up.

00:33:07.000 The majority of the Jewish people who were established in those societies were like, look, I go back generations. 0.87

00:33:15.000 I'm a German.

00:33:16.000 I'm as much a Jew as I am a German.

00:33:18.000 And by the way, I've written several books and my roots are in this society. 0.84

00:33:24.000 If you ever told any of them, That, well, your government's going to come round up all of you, all of you, and I'm going to give you some numbers in a second, and they're going to kill everybody you know, and worse, they're going to gas, torture, and starve them all in a systematic way in concentration camps.

00:33:41.000 That was a true apocalypse, and if you don't know anything about the Holocaust or World War II, then you're remiss because it's the worst event in recorded history, but it's also very important to study because you don't understand and can't fathom The depth of human evil until you see that. 0.65

00:34:00.000 Because here's what it was.

00:34:01.000 It wasn't mad men. 0.99

00:34:02.000 It was very rational, cool-minded men with shaved cheeks who sat in a room dressed in medals and in suits who came up with something called the final solution, which was to kill every single Jew in the world. 0.99

00:34:16.000 And they almost did it.

00:34:18.000 And in Poland alone, out of 3.1 million Jews who'd been there for 700 years, mostly in ghettos, but who had deep roots and huge contributions to that society and Germany, at the end of World War II, and this is just five, six years, there were 50,000 left.

00:34:35.000 All of whom were wretches, all of whom were starving, all of whom were coming out of the concentration camps like Birkenau, Auschwitz, Treblinka, and all these things. 0.94

00:34:45.000 So if you really think that you're safe, or if you really think that giving anybody power over you, Is a good idea.

00:34:55.000 Is a good idea. 0.95

00:34:56.000 You're fucking wrong and you should pick up a history book. 0.58

00:35:00.000 And what makes this country very, very special and what you have to fight for is government by the people, for the people. 0.97

00:35:08.000 And that's very easy to forget.

00:35:10.000 And even George Washington said, you've got to be careful because people will invent laws to take their own power away from them.

00:35:17.000 That's what George Washington said.

00:35:18.000 And it is very human.

00:35:20.000 And if you look at anybody in power, I don't care if it's Republican or Democrat.

00:35:27.000 This is why I'm a Ron Paul supporter, because if you look at anybody in power, when you're in power, you have an impulse to try to solve a problem.

00:35:36.000 You want to solve a problem.

00:35:37.000 And the only way to do that, government does what?

00:35:39.000 It passes laws and it grows and it taxes.

00:35:44.000 Taxing and passing laws are two coercive measures.

00:35:47.000 That's what they do.

00:35:49.000 And you do need some laws.

00:35:50.000 You do need some taxation.

00:35:52.000 Let's be honest.

00:35:53.000 But when you have a central authority like that, the big question for anyone is, who is going to govern the governor?

00:36:00.000 Who is watching the governor?

00:36:02.000 That's the central question of political science.

00:36:04.000 Who is going to govern the governor?

00:36:06.000 Because it has to be.

00:36:06.000 You can't have someone be on reproach.

00:36:08.000 And the answer is who?

00:36:09.000 The people.

00:36:10.000 That's the answer.

00:36:11.000 And they're choking that out on a daily basis.

00:36:15.000 Choking that out slowly.

00:36:16.000 This is the biggest enemy, and you have to be on guard of that all the time.

00:36:20.000 And by the way, it always is under good auspices.

00:36:23.000 It's always any society.

00:36:24.000 My God, even the Nazis, for God's sake, even the Nazis, that monstrous machine, defined what they were doing along what they would consider moral grounds. 0.88

00:36:36.000 Hitler was trying to quote-unquote Solve the Jewish problem, etc.

00:36:41.000 And the propaganda that had Ukrainians and Poles cheering on those firing squads as they were killing Jews, that's what happens.

00:36:52.000 You can poison an entire mindset.

00:36:55.000 It's amazing that it's within our grasp historically.

00:36:58.000 We can see things.

00:36:59.000 We can have photos and video because things like this have happened.

00:37:05.000 And they're worse than you can imagine.

00:37:07.000 As you read Exodus, and I studied Nazi Germany.

00:37:10.000 It was my area of focus in college.

00:37:12.000 But if you read that book, and he brings it down to such a personal level, it is the unthinkable and it's the unspeakable.

00:37:19.000 And it's almost like it was the first event of that magnitude, a horrific event of that magnitude, where air travel had just become sort of a big player in the way the world functioned. 0.98

00:37:33.000 Because people could fly over you and drop shit on you. 0.97

00:37:36.000 Things changed very quickly. 0.99

00:37:38.000 They accelerated very quickly.

00:37:39.000 And it's just amazing that it's all within our capability of recording it and watching it.

00:37:45.000 That's right.

00:37:46.000 But here's the big difference too.

00:37:47.000 Back then, nobody was watching it.

00:37:50.000 Nobody was seeing what was going on in the Russian countryside.

00:37:54.000 Hitler said, I want to make part of the Russian countryside habitable for Germans.

00:38:02.000 And so what he said is we have to just get rid of all the Bolsheviks. 0.99

00:38:05.000 Let's just kill everybody who's there. 1.00

00:38:07.000 Just empty the villages of people. 1.00

00:38:09.000 So what they would do is they would have these soldiers come in. 0.93

00:38:12.000 And they would dig these huge mass pits and shoot everybody into the pits.

00:38:17.000 That's how bad it was.

00:38:18.000 And so at the end of World War II, there were 50 million people dead.

00:38:22.000 How do you get that many people to do that?

00:38:25.000 How does that happen?

00:38:27.000 That's a very good question.

00:38:28.000 Let me put it this way.

00:38:29.000 And I believe these are the numbers.

00:38:32.000 By 1943 in Birkenau, which was about a mile away from Auschwitz.

00:38:37.000 So I'm saying Auschwitz. 0.90

00:38:38.000 In Auschwitz, let's call it Auschwitz. 0.84

00:38:39.000 They were probably killing close to 40,000 people a day.

00:38:44.000 And the way they would do it is this.

00:38:45.000 What they found was that when they brought people in...

00:38:48.000 Now is this at a peak?

00:38:49.000 Is this a constant steady stream for a long time?

00:38:52.000 Yes, yes. 0.91

00:38:52.000 That's why they were able to kill 6 million Jews. 0.91

00:38:55.000 And look, let me explain something to you.

00:38:57.000 And it's important to fathom those numbers for a second because they're overwhelming.

00:39:02.000 The numbers are overwhelming.

00:39:03.000 And these are children.

00:39:05.000 These are women and these are infants and they all had names and they all had...

00:39:09.000 They all had families and they all had connections.

00:39:11.000 They were all as human as you and I. And it's very natural for us to kind of say, well, that was a long time ago and they may have looked at life differently.

00:39:18.000 No, they had all the same dreams.

00:39:20.000 They had all the same hopes.

00:39:20.000 They had all the same love.

00:39:21.000 They all had all the same bonds.

00:39:23.000 And it's overwhelming and too much for your heart to bear if you really think about what human beings have done to other human beings, especially the Holocaust. 0.65

00:39:32.000 It's why the Holocaust, that word, That word, the Holocaust, which I believe means the Great Fire, or a derivation of that. 0.61

00:39:40.000 That's why that word is used only for that specific event in history, because they did get burned.

00:39:46.000 They did get put in ovens, and all trace of them was washed away.

00:39:50.000 Because as the Russians and the Americans closed in on those camps, they had to get rid of all the evidence.

00:39:55.000 So they blew up all those gas chambers.

00:39:58.000 They burned the bodies.

00:39:59.000 They crushed the skulls. 0.98

00:40:01.000 And they would use other Jews to do it. 0.99

00:40:02.000 They would make you do it. 1.00

00:40:03.000 So you'd be 14 unloading bodies out of a fucking... 1.00

00:40:06.000 Think about this. 1.00

00:40:07.000 I mean, it's as crazy as it gets, right? 0.78

00:40:09.000 It's as worse and as depraved as it possibly gets.

00:40:12.000 But the way you get people to go about it is two things.

00:40:14.000 One is deception.

00:40:15.000 One is, and human beings have always done it, And I'll explain why we're living in a world where it's harder to do, but what you do is just misinformation, propaganda.

00:40:24.000 You say, hey, guess who's causing all your financial problems?

00:40:29.000 A group called the Jews, or a group called the Chinese, or a group called the blacks. 1.00

00:40:34.000 And by the way, they also kill their own kids and they're subhuman. 0.97

00:40:39.000 And you take young men who have no education or have been educated specifically and they're full of fire and what they go to war for is to protect what they consider their way of life.

00:40:51.000 See, I don't think people go to war for hatred.

00:40:52.000 I think people go to war because they're in love with their way of life and they're trying to protect their families.

00:40:57.000 They're trying to protect their way of life.

00:40:59.000 And that's how you create a real soldier and a dedicated patriot.

00:41:02.000 You create a sense of misinformation.

00:41:05.000 Young men who are 18 and 19 are not asking questions. 0.98

00:41:08.000 They're trying to be a hero. 0.99

00:41:09.000 And if it means having to kill all those bad guys over there, and even their kids and their women... 1.00

00:41:14.000 Well, their kids and their women are kind of subhuman. 1.00

00:41:15.000 You always create a subhuman... 1.00

00:41:18.000 Context for the enemy.

00:41:20.000 But the good news in 2011 is that it's becoming harder and harder to do because of the internet and we're all getting closer and closer together.

00:41:30.000 And it's easier to kind of empathize with somebody when you see them suffering, when videotape doesn't lie.

00:41:37.000 When you can hear their voices and they create political bodies and groups and they say, you know, look, we bleed and we cry just like you do.

00:41:49.000 And that's what I think has a lot to do with breaking down These natural, tribal tendencies that human beings have.

00:41:58.000 Because human beings are tribal.

00:42:00.000 We are tribal.

00:42:01.000 Even if you belong to one martial arts school, it's so natural for you to go, yeah, we're better, though. 0.99

00:42:05.000 Those guys over there kind of, yeah, they're fucking, they do that thug jitsu. 0.97

00:42:09.000 We do the original, pure. 0.99

00:42:10.000 You'll find that in anything, right?

00:42:12.000 We're tribal.

00:42:13.000 And look at teams.

00:42:14.000 Look at the nationalism involved in my team versus your team.

00:42:17.000 I mean, you know, these big rivalries.

00:42:20.000 But the good news is that I believe that, and I may be naive, but I don't think so, that pulling off something as horrific as what happened in the Holocaust would be very difficult, very difficult today, and almost probably impossible because too many of us would go, this is outrageous. 0.79

00:42:37.000 I don't think it would get as bad as the Holocaust, but I think it's happening right now. 0.71

00:42:42.000 Well, it happened in Rwanda in the 90s, right?

00:42:45.000 Sure.

00:42:46.000 In the Congo.

00:42:48.000 Yeah.

00:42:49.000 And those places, again, are pretty remote and still haven't, but most of Africa, I can't remember the number, but there are an inordinate amount of cell phones in Africa.

00:42:58.000 And during the violence in Kenya recently, people started videotaping soldiers raping women.

00:43:04.000 Oh, my God.

00:43:04.000 And they started tweeting and texting where the concentration of violence was happening.

00:43:09.000 So people were able to avoid that.

00:43:11.000 So what's happening is just like in Mexico with the drug cartels, people are being empowered by social media.

00:43:17.000 And when they see a house where drug activity is going on, they can just tweet it anonymously and the cops go and find it.

00:43:22.000 So they don't have to worry about retribution.

00:43:24.000 So a lot of these things, a lot of the social media is a really good thing because it's creating, it's truly democratizing power.

00:43:34.000 It's really spacing power out.

00:43:37.000 And in some ways, it makes for a better place to live.

00:43:42.000 Could you imagine if you had to move to Africa?

00:43:45.000 Yeah.

00:43:46.000 Could you imagine if something happened, like, America doesn't like Brian Callen anymore, you gotta get out of the country?

00:43:51.000 I've been to Africa twice, you know.

00:43:53.000 I know.

00:43:53.000 What if you had to live there?

00:43:54.000 I'm sure there's nice places.

00:43:55.000 There are very nice places of Africa, but for the most part, you'd probably want to be in the United States.

00:43:58.000 What if you had to live in the Congo?

00:44:00.000 Could you imagine if... 0.99

00:44:01.000 That would suck. 0.99

00:44:03.000 That would suck. 1.00

00:44:04.000 Dude, Japan just had another fucking earthquake, by the way, 7.0, like, three days ago. 1.00

00:44:09.000 Where was this? 0.99

00:44:10.000 I think right offside Tokyo, like, in the water.

00:44:15.000 7.0. 0.99

00:44:16.000 All this shit makes me wonder, I gotta get ready. 0.99

00:44:18.000 Do I need guns? 1.00

00:44:19.000 Do I need to start storing water?

00:44:21.000 What do I gotta do?

00:44:22.000 There was an earthquake in Ohio, and they found out, well, there's some controversy that it might be because they're drilling for wells, and that they actually had to shut it down because there was some recent activity from this drilling.

00:44:34.000 They've noticed that the activity has been higher than normal, and so they shut it down, and then just a little bit of time later, there was a 4.3 earthquake in Youngstown, Ohio.

00:44:46.000 That's possible.

00:44:47.000 They say they can do that.

00:44:48.000 They say they can start some sort of minor movements with some hardcore drilling.

00:44:53.000 It kind of makes sense if you drill on a fault.

00:44:56.000 Yeah, but is that going to fuck it up for good?

00:45:00.000 Like now is there going to be earthquakes all the time in Ohio?

00:45:02.000 Could you imagine if they did? 0.98

00:45:04.000 If they just, the greedy fucks, if they just drilled a hole in the wrong spot and now it's like the worst fault line ever. 0.99

00:45:11.000 Sorry! 0.99

00:45:11.000 And you can't really blame them because there's no real science behind them. 0.99

00:45:14.000 It's really difficult for anyone to prove what caused maybe all these earthquakes were going to happen anyway.

00:45:20.000 You wonder, man.

00:45:22.000 We actually have a thousand wells that we've done in Ohio and Pennsylvania, and we've never had a problem before.

00:45:29.000 That's hilarious.

00:45:31.000 They drill a thousand gigantic holes.

00:45:33.000 A thousand.

00:45:34.000 That's so weird, too.

00:45:35.000 Ten 100s.

00:45:38.000 You know?

00:45:39.000 We really got that fault line good, guys.

00:45:41.000 Just think about that.

00:45:42.000 There's a huge aqua fire under those states. 0.74

00:45:45.000 Yeah.

00:45:46.000 Because we have water shortage in parts of this country, but apparently there's a massive aquifer that they say is going to push a lot of industry in that direction.

00:45:56.000 What do you mean by aquifer?

00:45:58.000 Under the earth, there's a massive natural reservoir of water.

00:46:03.000 Really?

00:46:03.000 Yeah.

00:46:04.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:46:05.000 How weird is it that the earth has all these creepy fucking layers underneath us? 1.00

00:46:10.000 You know, we're just living on this crust. 0.98

00:46:12.000 We don't like to think that, man.

00:46:13.000 I know.

00:46:14.000 You know, they're just right under you, you know, whatever it is.

00:46:16.000 Well, you get your water from, what, the Colorado River?

00:46:18.000 I mean, this is where the LA doesn't have water.

00:46:20.000 Yeah, there's no water here.

00:46:22.000 We had to divert water from the Colorado River, and the Owens Valley just dried the fuck out.

00:46:28.000 That's what Chinatown's about, where the Owens Valley had all these farmers and this way of life, and they were like, the powers that be came in and go, we need to grow fucking orange groves, and by the way, let's start the movie industry here because the weather's predictable.

00:46:40.000 We need water. 0.99

00:46:41.000 Fuck the Owens Valley. 1.00

00:46:43.000 Redirect the river over this way. 1.00

00:46:44.000 And all these farmers were like, my fucking sheep are dying. 0.99

00:46:47.000 I don't have any water. 1.00

00:46:48.000 And then they went fucking nuts. 0.99

00:46:50.000 But they were like, sorry, we have the money. 1.00

00:46:52.000 Wow.

00:46:53.000 That's what happened.

00:46:53.000 What a creep move.

00:46:54.000 They stole their fucking river. 1.00

00:46:56.000 Yeah, they dried out a whole fucking valley. 1.00

00:46:58.000 They stole their water? 1.00

00:47:00.000 Yeah.

00:47:00.000 Isn't that amazing that you could do that?

00:47:02.000 You could decide.

00:47:02.000 You got enough power.

00:47:03.000 You could decide.

00:47:04.000 All you people that are effects.

00:47:07.000 That's when guys had power, like smoking a cigar going, let's just divert the river.

00:47:11.000 What do you mean, sir?

00:47:12.000 The Colorado River.

00:47:13.000 One of the biggest rivers in the country.

00:47:16.000 Yeah, let's do that.

00:47:17.000 Well, that's how they created that Salton Sea, right?

00:47:20.000 I guess.

00:47:20.000 Isn't that what it is?

00:47:21.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:47:22.000 I might be talking out of my ass, but I think it has something to do with the Colorado River. 0.98

00:47:27.000 A lot of Dan's natural lakes in this country were all a result of just figuring out a way to get water to land so you could grow food. 1.00

00:47:35.000 Yeah, LA is really a ridiculous place to live. 1.00

00:47:38.000 It's a fucking desert. 1.00

00:47:39.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

00:47:40.000 It is. 1.00

00:47:41.000 Our water could get taken away at any time.

00:47:43.000 And we're just like... 0.99

00:47:44.000 Yeah, but fuck, it's 73 degrees and breezy all the time. 0.99

00:47:46.000 It was 93 when I got here. 0.99

00:47:48.000 Yeah, but I'm down by the beach, so it's always really nice.

00:47:50.000 Today was 85 degrees out here.

00:47:52.000 It was 93 when I was driving.

00:47:53.000 Jesus, that's insane.

00:47:54.000 I like it.

00:47:55.000 It's beautiful.

00:47:55.000 I love it.

00:47:56.000 It was in January.

00:47:57.000 I love the heat, man. 0.99

00:47:58.000 It's a lot better than fucking freezing your ass off. 1.00

00:48:00.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:48:00.000 And I'll tell you what, it's a lot better than black ice and dealing with all the buries. 1.00

00:48:03.000 Oh, you know, from Boston.

00:48:05.000 I went to high school a little bit. 1.00

00:48:05.000 Fuck that ice theory, dude. 1.00

00:48:06.000 The wintertime's driving is scary. 1.00

00:48:08.000 Dude, I remember going to high school up in New England, and the mucus in my nostrils would freeze, walking from one...

00:48:17.000 I'll be doing that next Thursday, Joe.

00:48:20.000 I've been on the highway before and watched it rain and watched the rain just sort of start sticking to your windshield. 0.99

00:48:28.000 You're like, what the fuck is going on here? 0.95

00:48:29.000 The rain was just beginning to turn into ice. 0.99

00:48:32.000 To look like Christmas.

00:48:33.000 It was just beginning to become icy rain and then the entire road became a skating rink.

00:48:39.000 I mean, it was just slide into a ditch.

00:48:43.000 Everybody would just wait.

00:48:44.000 Have you ever been caught in a hailstorm?

00:48:47.000 Oh yeah.

00:48:48.000 I was in New Mexico in the summertime and I got caught in a hailstorm.

00:48:50.000 Like huge hailstones.

00:48:52.000 Oh, New Mexico's got... 1.00

00:48:53.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:48:54.000 They got legit hail. 0.99

00:48:55.000 They got hail that they put on YouTube.

00:48:56.000 Dude, it's crazy. 0.96

00:48:57.000 Yeah, I had golf balls and the whole city had it and everybody's cars were fucked up. 0.99

00:49:02.000 And everybody did the same thing I did. 0.96

00:49:04.000 It was like, oh, they gave me $1,200 to fix it.

00:49:06.000 I'm just keeping the money and buying some Xbox games and stuff.

00:49:09.000 So everybody's cars were fucked up for years. 0.97

00:49:13.000 The dogs got jacked. 1.00

00:49:15.000 People's dogs got fucked up. 1.00

00:49:17.000 Yeah, they get killed. 1.00

00:49:18.000 There's one video that I watched.

00:49:19.000 This kid put a video up of it starting, and he didn't know how bad it was going to get because it was so crazy.

00:49:25.000 He was like, oh my god, this hail is so bad we had to film it.

00:49:29.000 So he's filming it in his backyard, and it's coming down, man.

00:49:31.000 You're watching it.

00:49:32.000 But then, as he's filming it, it just turns into the preposterous.

00:49:36.000 It turns into the end of time. 0.99

00:49:39.000 It turns into a fucking shotgun of ice is coming out of the sky every second. 1.00

00:49:46.000 I mean, his fucking pool is exploding. 1.00

00:49:50.000 Exploding with splashes. 1.00

00:49:52.000 Yes, yes.

00:49:52.000 There's a lot of them.

00:49:53.000 Oh my God, you can't believe it.

00:49:54.000 It's the most horrific thought.

00:49:56.000 The thought that you could be on your way home from somewhere.

00:49:58.000 You're walking home.

00:50:00.000 Yeah.

00:50:00.000 How about you got headphones on?

00:50:01.000 You don't even know what's happening.

00:50:03.000 You get hit with the first ice pellet.

00:50:05.000 Bang! 1.00

00:50:06.000 What?

00:50:07.000 Dude, that's what I was talking about. 1.00

00:50:09.000 Okay, that's the random shit that drives me crazy. 0.99

00:50:11.000 I don't want to die randomly. 0.99

00:50:12.000 Like, for example, how about this? 0.99

00:50:13.000 I told you the story where the couple is driving down the fucking highway and they hit a bear 60 miles an hour. 0.99

00:50:20.000 Bear goes flying into the other lane and kills the people coming this way through their windshield. 0.99

00:50:26.000 Flying bear. 1.00

00:50:26.000 Died by flying fucking bear. 1.00

00:50:28.000 Wow. 1.00

00:50:29.000 That's annoying.

00:50:31.000 Can't bear proof your windshield, okay?

00:50:32.000 Did it happen in West Hollywood?

00:50:34.000 I saw a dude who had a thing on his car for deer, though. 0.99

00:50:38.000 When I lived in Colorado, he had this badass fucking battering ram front grill. 0.99

00:50:43.000 He had a pickup truck, and he was a hunter. 0.99

00:50:46.000 I think deer kill more people than any other animal, right?

00:50:48.000 Oh, they kill a lot of people, man.

00:50:49.000 You've got to be really careful. 1.00

00:50:50.000 They're crazy. 0.99

00:50:52.000 They have nutty instincts. 1.00

00:50:53.000 They just leap out in front of cars.

00:50:55.000 And I don't think they quite understand something can move as fast as a car. 1.00

00:50:58.000 Because in nature, I think they get a lot more of a warning than a goddamn car. 0.97

00:51:01.000 Well, it's also hard to judge because the car is on one level. 0.98

00:51:04.000 So when it's coming at you on a highway, you can't tell how fast it is because it operates on the same planes.

00:51:08.000 Oh, because it's not jumping up and down?

00:51:10.000 Yeah, if you look at the way a cheetah runs or a predator runs, they stay on one level, so they're not jumping up and down.

00:51:16.000 Whereas a gazelle is jumping up and down, right?

00:51:17.000 You can measure how fast they're going.

00:51:20.000 But physics-wise, when something is operating along the same plane, it's much harder to judge their speed.

00:51:25.000 That's why when you're on a highway and a car is coming at you, you can't tell if it's going 90 or 60 because it's staying at the same level.

00:51:31.000 Now, is it an efficiency thing for a cat or something like that?

00:51:35.000 More, apparently, more just evolution-wise, it's so the animal that it's chasing can't tell how fast it's coming out.

00:51:42.000 It doesn't run according, it just runs, right?

00:51:46.000 Right.

00:51:46.000 But the cat looks like it's farther away from you than if it was jumping.

00:51:50.000 And it's also harder to see.

00:51:51.000 It's also staying low under the foliage.

00:51:54.000 There's a cool video of, I guess, South America's jaguars, right?

00:51:58.000 It's a jaguar eating a giant rat-like thing.

00:52:02.000 A capybara.

00:52:03.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

00:52:04.000 Have you seen that video?

00:52:05.000 Oh my goodness!

00:52:07.000 And these dudes filmed it.

00:52:09.000 They were in boats.

00:52:11.000 It's a rat.

00:52:11.000 It's enormous.

00:52:12.000 It's a rat like the size of a big fucking dog, man. 0.99

00:52:16.000 And this jaguar is sitting there just completely frozen, like not moving at all. 0.99

00:52:21.000 And the video takes like, it takes four minutes of the jaguar doing nothing until he launches himself on this thing.

00:52:27.000 You know, jaguars, which are very big cats, will eat a human right quick.

00:52:31.000 The one cat you don't want to be around is a jaguar more than anything else, including a tiger. 0.99

00:52:36.000 You don't want to fuck around with it. 0.99

00:52:37.000 Well, you know when people take ayahuasca, that DMT beverage that they take in South America, one of the big visions that people have is jaguars. 0.99

00:52:46.000 They have a lot of jaguar visions.

00:52:48.000 Dude, you know, my buddy works for, like, the Secret Service, you know? 0.86

00:52:54.000 And you know they get calls all the time because, like, sometimes they'll get their foreign service guys who go in and they'll fucking take, like, they try to mix in with the locals and they'll take drugs and then they'll just end up in the middle of the fucking Amazon or the Congo and they have to get a search team to go find them because they took some fucking drug and there are several stories like that. 0.71

00:53:15.000 Or how about this? 0.93

00:53:16.000 How about this?

00:53:17.000 The guy during Haiti...

00:53:20.000 Not during this earthquake, but there was another disaster back in the 90s when people were trying to emigrate to the States, right?

00:53:27.000 And the guy...

00:53:29.000 They had one dude, some young dude who was basically at the embassy...

00:53:34.000 There's a long line of people trying to immigrate to the US and none of them were getting in, right? 0.98

00:53:38.000 So you basically just go, denied, denied, denied. 0.99

00:53:40.000 They had this one young guy who was like a shit assignment there, right? 0.99

00:53:43.000 And it's hot, there's a fan on him. 1.00

00:53:45.000 And he started, people kept lining up and he just kept going, he kept going, denied, fucking denied. 0.99

00:53:50.000 Finally started going stir crazy, right? 0.98

00:53:53.000 And he had this little, what's that Star Wars, who's this Star Wars character?

00:53:59.000 Boba Fett?

00:53:59.000 Boba Fett it is.

00:54:00.000 Boba Fett, Boba Fett, okay.

00:54:01.000 So he had a little Boba Fett doll there.

00:54:03.000 And so he started going, he just started going crazy.

00:54:05.000 And the guy would come up and he'd go, hold on.

00:54:08.000 Sorry, Boba Fett says, uh, denied.

00:54:10.000 Sorry.

00:54:10.000 And he starts doing that, right?

00:54:11.000 That sounds like The Beaver.

00:54:12.000 That's like Mel Gibson's movie.

00:54:14.000 Okay, well, so he starts going, Boba Fett says no, right?

00:54:16.000 Right.

00:54:17.000 All of a sudden, the people started giving him Boba Fett offerings, okay? 0.96

00:54:24.000 So, like, a week later, Boba Fett has a fucking pile of everything from food to cigarettes, like a whole mountain, like right here, okay?

00:54:34.000 Then, a black market starts developing over Boba Fett dolls, Boba Fett costumes, and people started coming up with Boba Fett costumes and dolls and stuff, trying to get in because they thought that was kind of who you had to talk to. 0.78

00:54:44.000 They figured this guy was, they figured this guy's obviously talking to Boba Fett, and this guy, and he's a Boba Fett fanatic, so we should show allegiance to Boba Fett. 0.96

00:54:51.000 So people were coming and dressed like Boba Fett and the US Embassy had to be like, alright, we gotta fucking stop this. 0.99

00:54:55.000 Take that fucking doll out of here right fucking now. 1.00

00:54:58.000 Because the guy was like, hee hee hee! 1.00

00:55:00.000 Ha ha! 0.86

00:55:01.000 Yes!

00:55:01.000 More money!

00:55:02.000 Yes!

00:55:02.000 Thank you!

00:55:03.000 Thank you very much!

00:55:04.000 And Boba Fett says, no, I'm sorry. 0.98

00:55:06.000 And the guy would be dressed like Boba Fett like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:55:08.000 It's amazing that that guy got so far. 0.99

00:55:10.000 That just shows you.

00:55:12.000 That was a story that this guy, this foreign service guy, told me about.

00:55:17.000 Oh, by the way, my other buddy came to visit me.

00:55:19.000 I can't say his name, but he's a CIA guy or something like that.

00:55:23.000 I don't know what he does, but I know he's been in Iraq for 10 years in Afghanistan. 0.98

00:55:26.000 He was telling me about that fucking waste that goes on. 0.99

00:55:30.000 How about this? 1.00

00:55:31.000 How about this?

00:55:32.000 In Iraq, it's a desert, right?

00:55:35.000 They spent $100,000 importing sand for volleyball courts.

00:55:40.000 So they brought $100,000 worth of sand in for the volleyball courts as opposed to just getting the sand in Iraq. 0.99

00:55:46.000 I'm sure you could find fucking sand somewhere in Iraq. 1.00

00:55:49.000 Nah, let's import it from the states because everybody's got their fucking mouths at the government trough. 0.99

00:55:54.000 And when you've got a war going on, there's so much money to be made, and everybody does it. 1.00

00:55:58.000 And it's just a confluence of fucking events. 0.83

00:56:00.000 And everybody, everybody who goes there, you have a project, you have money, and you want to build a big dam or a power, a big power plant, right? 0.99

00:56:10.000 It doesn't matter if the fucking Iraqis need it or not. 0.99

00:56:13.000 What matters is that you burn your money. 1.00

00:56:15.000 You get judged by your burn rate, okay? 0.99

00:56:17.000 You have a certain allotted budget and you have to get a fucking huge power plant, whether it's needed there or not. 0.85

00:56:24.000 The point is to get it done because then you get a promotion or your project is a success. 1.00

00:56:30.000 And that shit was going on and continues to go on in Iraq for the past ten fucking years. 1.00

00:56:35.000 The waste. 1.00

00:56:37.000 It's so outrageous. 0.99

00:56:38.000 It's ridiculous. 0.96

00:56:40.000 It's an industry in itself. 0.78

00:56:41.000 And by the way, you know, the Iraqis, do you know how much oil we've gotten from the Iraqis?

00:56:45.000 How much oil revenue?

00:56:47.000 None.

00:56:47.000 It's all gone into Iraqi coffers.

00:56:49.000 This whole thing costs us a fucking fortune. 0.99

00:56:51.000 And let me go on. 1.00

00:56:52.000 Let me go on.

00:56:53.000 And Maliki is creating his own secret service police forces that report directly to him. 0.90

00:57:00.000 Does that sound familiar? 0.97

00:57:01.000 So we fucking take the country apart, and now we're leaving behind Saddam light. 0.98

00:57:06.000 See you later! 0.99

00:57:07.000 Thanks a lot, guys.

00:57:09.000 He's consolidating power, keeping the Sunnis out. 1.00

00:57:12.000 So the Sunnis are like, fuck you, we're going to lose all the resources. 1.00

00:57:15.000 You guys are sitting on all the resources in the South. 1.00

00:57:16.000 We're going to bomb the fucking shit out of you guys until you come back to the bargaining table. 1.00

00:57:20.000 Hey, hey, civil war in Iraq. 1.00

00:57:22.000 It's fucking a tragedy. 1.00

00:57:23.000 And it's civil war that happened like that. 1.00

00:57:25.000 Yeah! 0.99

00:57:26.000 But you know who was calling all that shit? 1.00

00:57:28.000 A lot of people, including this fucking idiot. 1.00

00:57:30.000 And I'm an actor. 1.00

00:57:31.000 And I said, how are you going to stop the Sunnis and the Shias from getting into a war after all this shit breaks down? 1.00

00:57:37.000 And how do you stop the Shia, who are a majority, from aligning themselves with Iran, our number one enemy? 1.00

00:57:42.000 Huh, that's weird.

00:57:43.000 Wasn't Iraq kind of playing sort of a countervailing force to Iran?

00:57:48.000 I'm an actor!

00:57:48.000 And I was asking that question.

00:57:49.000 I'm an actor!

00:57:50.000 And you know what?

00:57:51.000 I read one newspaper a day.

00:57:52.000 That's all.

00:57:53.000 I don't know anything. 0.99

00:57:53.000 And these fucking guys couldn't figure that out? 0.99

00:57:55.000 So why do you think that our foreign policy is so self-destructive? 1.00

00:57:59.000 I asked him.

00:58:00.000 I asked him that question.

00:58:02.000 Obviously, a lot of people are making a profit, but it almost seems like you're burning the farm down.

00:58:06.000 He had a great answer.

00:58:07.000 He had a great answer.

00:58:07.000 Because I said, how much of this is like a group of men, a cabal of evil men, or how much of this is centrally planned, or people have different interests?

00:58:15.000 And he said, dude, it's not like that.

00:58:17.000 He said, what it is, is there's just a whole bunch of, and I'll give you another example of what's happening now.

00:58:21.000 He said, what it is, is there's a whole bunch of interests working, a whole bunch of money to be made, and everybody has a different opinion.

00:58:29.000 And some opinions win the day and others don't, right?

00:58:31.000 And so the State Department has their own agenda, the executive has their agenda, and everybody has their own agenda.

00:58:37.000 But ultimately enough shit starts to be kind of like talked about where you start creating an enemy, you start saying this might be a good idea for the following reasons, and pretty soon there's so much, there's so many sort of, there's so many groups of people that have a vested interest In going in, and usually it's an intellectual interest. 0.88

00:58:57.000 Usually it's like, I think we can bring democracy to the Middle East. 0.97

00:59:00.000 And that's a very grandiose idea and a grandiose plan.

00:59:02.000 Oh, and by the way, because it's going to make the world safer at the end of the day.

00:59:05.000 There are a lot of idealistic people involved in this as well, not just money people. 0.99

00:59:08.000 And all of a sudden, all this shit starts to come together. 0.99

00:59:11.000 And before you know it, you're fucking on your way to war. 0.99

00:59:14.000 And the way he described it made a lot of sense. 0.99

00:59:16.000 It's like a tidal wave. 0.82

00:59:18.000 It starts as a snowball, and before you know it, you've got a fucking massive tsunami on your hands of just momentum.

00:59:24.000 And there's just so many interests and there's so much movement in one direction that what are you going to do then?

00:59:29.000 Call it off?

00:59:30.000 No.

00:59:30.000 You got weapons of mass destruction.

00:59:32.000 He's used them before.

00:59:34.000 Let's go take out the fourth largest army in the world because it's not safe.

00:59:39.000 And, you know, let's make the world a better place.

00:59:43.000 And you get a bunch of people like that who do it. 0.98

00:59:45.000 And then, of course, you get a lot of people behind the scenes going, we can make a lot of fucking money. 0.67

00:59:50.000 Boeing, Lockheed, Raytheon saying, dude, they're going to need a lot of weapon systems. 0.75

00:59:54.000 They're not going to need them, but we can sell them to them.

00:59:56.000 It's an amazing thing, too, that once that money starts coming in and coming in in just billion-dollar contract after billion-dollar contract.

01:00:04.000 I mean, the amount of money.

01:00:05.000 The defense contractors, Halliburton, the cleanup people, all the different people.

01:00:08.000 I mean, the amount of money is insane.

01:00:10.000 Try asking them to cut it off.

01:00:11.000 Dude, how about this?

01:00:12.000 Well, not only that.

01:00:13.000 $11 billion.

01:00:14.000 We have an $11 billion arms deal with Iraq right now, okay?

01:00:17.000 And it's about to go through.

01:00:18.000 But here's the thing.

01:00:19.000 Can't give Iran the arms because Maliki is not agreeing to the terms we set for him, which was you have to share power with the Sunnis because we don't want a civil war there and we have a lot of American interest already in Iraq. 0.96

01:00:31.000 There's a lot of American companies making money.

01:00:33.000 Now here's the thing.

01:00:34.000 You tell a politician to veto that $11 million arms deal.

01:00:39.000 You know how many people that employs?

01:00:42.000 You know how many constituents are voting based on the fact that they get a job because of $11 billion?

01:00:49.000 You're going to take $11 billion out of the American economy?

01:00:51.000 Good luck. 1.00

01:00:52.000 Good fucking luck. 0.99

01:00:53.000 And that's what happens. 0.99

01:00:54.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:00:55.000 It's amazing.

01:00:55.000 It's called money.

01:00:57.000 But the money to make shit that kills people unnecessarily. 1.00

01:01:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:01.000 Oh, we need $11 million. 1.00

01:01:02.000 We're going to give you $11 million.

01:01:03.000 Oh, and by the way, we're going to give that to you, Maliki, so you can create your own army of Shia to keep the Sunnis down, and that's called a civil war. 0.99

01:01:11.000 Without the military-industrial complex, how much less war would there be?

01:01:16.000 I don't know the answer.

01:01:17.000 I don't know.

01:01:18.000 It's an interesting answer.

01:01:19.000 I don't think it's war that you would stop.

01:01:23.000 Really?

01:01:24.000 I think the private sector makes a lot of money off of the decisions made in government, and so there's a profit to be made from war.

01:01:34.000 And if that's the case, it does raise an important question.

01:01:37.000 If war becomes big business, let me give you another example.

01:01:42.000 Iran.

01:01:43.000 Iran has a nuclear program, at least we're trying to stop, right? 1.00

01:01:47.000 We did sell bunker buster bombs to Israel about three years ago.

01:01:52.000 Now, what are bunker buster bombs?

01:01:54.000 Bunker buster bombs, and these particular ones we sold to Israel, are bombs that can penetrate deep into the earth and take out an arsenal. 0.98

01:02:03.000 So if you have a nuclear facility that is churning out weapons, these bunker bombs are supposed to go into the earth and blow that fucking facility to smithereens. 0.98

01:02:16.000 Now we don't want to do it, but maybe Israel will drop those bombs because they know where Iran is making these weapons. 0.99

01:02:25.000 Do you think that the Americans are sitting back and using the Israelis as a proxy to see if those fucking bunker buster bombs work? 0.98

01:02:33.000 There seems to be a lot of noise headed Iran's way, it seems to me. 0.98

01:02:37.000 There seems to be something brewing in Iran.

01:02:39.000 They have taken a very aggressive stance with the Gulf, with blocking off oil routes.

01:02:47.000 Now, and the U.S. Navy is saying this is unacceptable.

01:02:50.000 There's a whole bunch of noise going on.

01:02:52.000 It seems to me things are moving in a direction that is not in Iran's favor.

01:02:58.000 And let's see what happens next.

01:03:00.000 But a lot of money.

01:03:01.000 A lot of money.

01:03:02.000 We probably gave those weapons to Israel for no pay, but we want to see if they work. 0.99

01:03:10.000 You know Wesley Clark, the guy who ran for president, predicted all this shit? 0.99

01:03:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:14.000 Predicted every single step. 1.00

01:03:15.000 He lives it every day.

01:03:16.000 It's amazing. 1.00

01:03:17.000 He sees the fucking waste. 0.99

01:03:18.000 He sees how much money and what kind of a lobbying power Raytheon and Boeing and Lockheed are. 0.99

01:03:27.000 You don't think they have massive lobbying efforts?

01:03:31.000 There's just too much money at stake.

01:03:33.000 It's incredible.

01:03:34.000 And they can find a way to justify it.

01:03:36.000 It is legal.

01:03:37.000 It has been done.

01:03:39.000 Employment.

01:03:39.000 I'll employ 10,000 people in your state.

01:03:42.000 It's amazing. 0.98

01:03:43.000 But we've got to build these very important fucking C-130 countries. 1.00

01:03:49.000 Listen, this is all shocking shit. 1.00

01:03:51.000 It's all big bummer, end-of-the-world shit. 1.00

01:03:54.000 How do you fix it? 0.99

01:03:56.000 Is there a way?

01:03:57.000 Is there a way to fix what we've got going on right now?

01:03:59.000 I'll tell you what Ron Paul would say.

01:04:02.000 Ron Paul would say, the only way to fix it is to make the government...

01:04:09.000 The government that everybody feeds off of and that has a lot of power to make these decisions, you make the government smaller.

01:04:15.000 You take away some of government's power.

01:04:19.000 I just watched a speech by Ronald Reagan that he made in, I think, 1969, and it's called A Time to Choose.

01:04:26.000 And if he made that speech today, Ron Paul could make that speech today And it wouldn't be any different at all.

01:04:35.000 He talks about how 37 cents of your dollar is gone to the government before you even wake up in the morning.

01:04:40.000 37% of your day is working for the government, and the government keeps getting better.

01:04:44.000 He talks about the war on poverty, and he did a little arithmetic.

01:04:47.000 He goes, if we take the money that we spent on poverty, and he takes a list of how many poor people there are, he said everybody should be getting $4,600 a year.

01:04:57.000 But it turns out we're getting $600.

01:04:58.000 How'd that happen?

01:04:59.000 Is some money being lost along the way?

01:05:00.000 It was all the stuff that Ron walked on.

01:05:02.000 Let's explore that.

01:05:04.000 Here's the deal.

01:05:05.000 What if you do make the government smaller?

01:05:09.000 How much do you keep?

01:05:10.000 And then what happens to all those people that used to be government employees that have a career in being government employees?

01:05:16.000 This is the biggest problem. 0.72

01:05:18.000 And by the way, some of those folks are hard-working folks, and they do a great service to the country, and some of those folks are useless.

01:05:24.000 And there's a lot of people that are little leeches onto a system. 0.67

01:05:27.000 For me, yes.

01:05:29.000 And for me, it doesn't have to do with being a Republican, Democrat, conservative, liberal.

01:05:33.000 It has nothing to do with that for me.

01:05:35.000 What I look at it as anything big, whether it's a big corporation or the government which has no accountability and is that big.

01:05:42.000 I don't understand how you can make that power run efficiently.

01:05:46.000 I do see how it can grow, and it keeps growing.

01:05:49.000 And that's the threat.

01:05:50.000 Like you just said, you just brought up the biggest question.

01:05:53.000 What happens?

01:05:54.000 How do you make government smaller?

01:05:56.000 It has so many vested interests.

01:05:58.000 And not only that, it's not just government.

01:06:00.000 The private industry is involved in this.

01:06:03.000 You're right.

01:06:04.000 Technology.

01:06:05.000 Yeah, computers is the right answer. 0.99

01:06:06.000 Instead of having some asshole in a fucking suit that represents your state, you know, go up in front of everybody and misstate everyone's position, instead of having that, you could have the people actually connect. 0.99

01:06:18.000 Let me say one other thing. 1.00

01:06:21.000 You're not alone in your thinking, and the conversation we're having is being had all over the country, in both Democrat and Republican circles.

01:06:29.000 This whole Occupy Wall Street movement is in some ways voicing some of those frustrations.

01:06:39.000 I'll give you a piece of good news, in my opinion, and a piece of good news that we've never experienced before.

01:06:45.000 You hear a lot of people talking about inequality of income, and there is.

01:06:50.000 However, we are experiencing, and I'm stealing this from a Wall Street Journal article, so I'm paraphrasing this, but there is an equality of consumption that we've never experienced before.

01:07:02.000 Let me tell you what I mean by that.

01:07:03.000 Take somebody who's very wealthy, very wealthy, You have a lot more money than I do.

01:07:07.000 I do pretty well, but you got a lot more money.

01:07:09.000 Your life and my life are very similar.

01:07:13.000 The only difference might be that you drive a faster car, but we sit in the same traffic.

01:07:19.000 You drive a Porsche, I drive a Prius, but we basically sit in the same traffic.

01:07:23.000 But the interior of my car, not that much different.

01:07:25.000 I got GPS, I got a great stereo, I got everything I need.

01:07:30.000 You wear the same clothing I do.

01:07:31.000 I guess you could wear Armani and Versace.

01:07:34.000 You never would, and the rest of that is fluff.

01:07:36.000 We eat the same amount of food.

01:07:38.000 And if you look at most people, and I'm talking about the middle class in this country, including people who are struggling for money and stuff, most people, the average amount for a wedding spent in this country is somewhere around $26,000 a year.

01:07:51.000 I mean, $26,000.

01:07:51.000 That's a lot of money.

01:07:53.000 So what we have now is an economy where very rich people invent something.

01:07:58.000 Say it's an application or a computer or something that we all use, okay?

01:08:02.000 But they don't make any money unless they can generate mass consumption of that product. 0.96

01:08:08.000 Most of us own a computer.

01:08:10.000 Most of us own a cell phone.

01:08:11.000 And that cell phone has all kinds of applications.

01:08:14.000 Most of us have a TV that allows us to watch pretty much anything we want.

01:08:19.000 High-def TVs cost $700.

01:08:22.000 The technology that you have in your phone.

01:08:24.000 Let's take the old Wall Street.

01:08:26.000 The first Wall Street with Michael Douglas.

01:08:27.000 He pulls out a Motorola phone that weighs two pounds and cost $3,995 back then.

01:08:34.000 Okay?

01:08:34.000 That brick.

01:08:35.000 It was a brick.

01:08:36.000 And it weighed two pounds.

01:08:37.000 And that was for the elite.

01:08:39.000 I think it was a little more than that, actually.

01:08:40.000 I think it was about $5,000.

01:08:41.000 But that was for the elite back then. 0.99

01:08:43.000 That was what Michael Douglas pulls out a cell phone and we go, holy shit! 0.99

01:08:47.000 He carries his own phone. 0.97

01:08:49.000 Nowadays, the difference between... 1.00

01:08:51.000 I'll tell you, Steven Jobs and I use the same fucking phone. 0.99

01:08:55.000 Warren Buffet and I use the same phone. 0.99

01:08:58.000 The only difference between Warren Buffet and me, the only difference is he flies privately.

01:09:01.000 But I can fly anywhere I want for under $1,000 anywhere in the world if I get on the internet fast enough.

01:09:07.000 So we have an equality of consumption in this country.

01:09:10.000 Unlike any time in the history of the world. 0.99

01:09:12.000 And that's good fucking news. 0.97

01:09:14.000 Most people, I'm talking about most people, at least have enough to eat. 0.99

01:09:18.000 They have an ability to contact each other.

01:09:20.000 They have an ability to entertain themselves almost the way they want.

01:09:23.000 How many people own Xboxes?

01:09:24.000 I believe it was last year 60 million were sold or something crazy.

01:09:29.000 Xboxes. 0.84

01:09:30.000 So think about that.

01:09:30.000 I have seven.

01:09:31.000 Yeah, so we have access, and we have access to information and inspiration.

01:09:36.000 How many people listen to your podcast who don't have a lot of money, but they get inspired, that you turn them on to things that they can afford?

01:09:43.000 You know, this is what the good news is about. 0.94

01:09:46.000 Yes, we may have inequality of income, but we have equality of consumption like we've never seen before, and that's fucking, that's a big deal, and nobody talks about that. 0.62

01:09:55.000 Well, this definitely isn't the worst time in human history. 0.99

01:09:59.000 Fuck no! 1.00

01:09:59.000 What? 1.00

01:10:00.000 The great...

01:10:01.000 The thing...

01:10:01.000 I think what really is killing people is the unrealized potential of the human race.

01:10:07.000 That just drives people nuts.

01:10:08.000 People that really truly are patriotic.

01:10:10.000 People that really truly do have respect and...

01:10:14.000 And admiration for the human spirit.

01:10:16.000 They believe that there's a much higher level that our society and our culture can achieve.

01:10:20.000 And I do too.

01:10:21.000 It's not that I'm unpatriotic. 0.99

01:10:24.000 It's just that I think, God damn, we could do a lot fucking better than this. 0.99

01:10:27.000 We don't have to be the crooks of the world. 0.99

01:10:29.000 It's not necessary.

01:10:30.000 We're going to die someday.

01:10:32.000 We are temporary beings. 1.00

01:10:34.000 The way we're doing this is ridiculous. 0.99

01:10:36.000 The fact that we've allowed these people to continue to operate like this is ridiculous. 0.98

01:10:40.000 They're not looking out for our needs. 0.87

01:10:43.000 We shouldn't be playing policemen all over the world. 0.97

01:10:45.000 We shouldn't have a hundred fucking military bases all over the world. 1.00

01:10:48.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

01:10:49.000 I agree with you. 0.86

01:10:49.000 Our military-industrial complex has somehow or another co-opted the entire government. 0.86

01:10:54.000 And they're forcing people into some shit that the people don't want. 0.98

01:10:57.000 Even the patriotic people don't want it. 0.99

01:11:00.000 Very few people think it's a good idea that we stick around in Afghanistan.

01:11:04.000 I mean, Afghanistan doesn't even need us.

01:11:06.000 We overthrew the government in Iraq.

01:11:07.000 We took off and left them in chaos.

01:11:10.000 Obviously, right? 0.98

01:11:11.000 Everything's fucking falling apart over there. 0.97

01:11:13.000 And guess what? 0.99

01:11:14.000 Afghanistan doesn't have a government.

01:11:16.000 Right.

01:11:17.000 I mean, they're not even a real country.

01:11:18.000 Never have been. 0.99

01:11:19.000 It's ridiculous.

01:11:20.000 The idea that we can't leave them.

01:11:21.000 Oh, we don't want that to happen over here.

01:11:23.000 My buddy, the other guy, the CIA guy said to me, he said, he spent a lot of time in Afghanistan, and he said they were talking to a dude on the border of Pakistan and of Afghanistan, Waziristan, that lawless area. 0.99

01:11:35.000 The guy didn't know what Pakistan was.

01:11:37.000 He lived on a mountain.

01:11:38.000 He was like, what are you talking about?

01:11:40.000 That's not my reality.

01:11:42.000 And you want a guy in Kandahar to have loyalty to the government in Kabul?

01:11:46.000 There's never been a tradition of that.

01:11:47.000 Never.

01:11:48.000 So what are you talking about?

01:11:49.000 They're just warlords and tribes.

01:11:50.000 And by the way, a corrupt government?

01:11:52.000 You think Karzai and his group are looking out for the Hazaras and the Tajiks up in the north? 1.00

01:11:58.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

01:11:59.000 How about Karzai's brother, who was a CIA employee? 1.00

01:12:02.000 The drug runner?

01:12:03.000 Yeah, drug runner slash getting checks from the CIA. And guess what?

01:12:06.000 They're having a tough time getting people to not grow poppies.

01:12:09.000 What?

01:12:09.000 For heroin.

01:12:11.000 We'd rather grow cotton and soybean because it's a lot more profitable.

01:12:17.000 Somebody made a great point about that.

01:12:18.000 I was out there. 1.00

01:12:19.000 And those fucking soldiers were building hospitals and schools. 0.99

01:12:23.000 And those guys are brave. 0.99

01:12:25.000 And I fucking am proud every time I see those guys. 0.96

01:12:27.000 And a lot of them died. 0.99

01:12:28.000 And a lot of them got fucking egregiously wounded. 0.98

01:12:31.000 Is that a word? 0.98

01:12:31.000 It doesn't matter. 0.98

01:12:32.000 I think it's the right one. 0.99

01:12:33.000 But the bottom line is, that's what kills me, is that effort and that fucking... 0.97

01:12:39.000 That these are real heroes that are getting used in the wrong way. 0.99

01:12:42.000 And then we go out there, and you talk to anybody who really knows about the country, including those soldiers who've been there a long time ago, what the fuck are we doing, man? 0.98

01:12:52.000 You can't build... 0.98

01:12:54.000 The U.S. is going to build a nation?

01:12:56.000 Afghanistan?

01:12:57.000 You're going to build a nation where there never was one?

01:12:59.000 What are you talking about?

01:13:00.000 It's insane.

01:13:00.000 All you're doing is taking money and moving it to people with bigger guns.

01:13:04.000 And what is the deal with Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan?

01:13:08.000 Isn't there like almost none left?

01:13:10.000 There's no Al-Qaeda.

01:13:11.000 No Al-Qaeda.

01:13:12.000 And by the way, you think the Afghanis...

01:13:14.000 But there is the Taliban.

01:13:15.000 Yeah, but you know what Taliban means? 0.88

01:13:17.000 No.

01:13:17.000 Talib means student.

01:13:18.000 Really?

01:13:19.000 Yes.

01:13:19.000 So you're a student.

01:13:20.000 So Taliban is a... 0.91

01:13:22.000 So you're telling me that you're Taliban.

01:13:24.000 Taliban means, yes, I'm a student.

01:13:25.000 Yeah, you're a student.

01:13:27.000 You really mean student?

01:13:27.000 Yes.

01:13:28.000 Talib, you know, and you're a student.

01:13:31.000 So, you know, then why?

01:13:33.000 Because the notion came out of those schools in Peshawar and in Saudi Arabia.

01:13:38.000 Oh, most of those schools, all of those schools in Peshawar and came out, were financed by...

01:13:45.000 Saudi Arabia, our number one ally in the Middle East, okay?

01:13:49.000 They were financed by that.

01:13:50.000 Why?

01:13:50.000 The Saudis are Wahhabis.

01:13:52.000 That is a puritanical sect of Sunni Islam, okay? 0.92

01:13:56.000 Obsessed with purity, okay?

01:13:58.000 So let's start there.

01:14:01.000 That's what happened.

01:14:02.000 You have to go all the way back to when the Soviets actually invaded Afghanistan and we were financing the Mujahideen and everything else with the help of the ISI, which is the Pakistan sequence. 0.68

01:14:10.000 Is it true, you would be the great guy to ask about this, because I watched it in a documentary where they were saying that the whole term for jihad was originally a war on your own vices.

01:14:21.000 Yes.

01:14:21.000 And that it was subverted by the CIA. The root word of jihad in Arabic is struggle.

01:14:26.000 Struggle.

01:14:27.000 And struggle, jihad meant two things.

01:14:30.000 I like how you say that.

01:14:31.000 It's very exciting, by the way.

01:14:32.000 Jihad. 0.68

01:14:33.000 It's very authentic.

01:14:34.000 You're so authentic.

01:14:35.000 I love you.

01:14:36.000 And the idea behind jihad, of course, was the battle that always wages between the flesh and the spirit in your own heart.

01:14:43.000 And then when the CIA was training the Mujahideen and supplying them with arms, they somehow or another subverted it to get them to meet holy war. 0.73

01:14:52.000 Who did it?

01:14:53.000 Who got them to change it to holy war?

01:14:55.000 What happened was when you had people who were fighting...

01:15:00.000 First of all, what the Soviets did to Afghanistan was pretty horrific, right?

01:15:03.000 Cut down all the trees, bombed all kinds of villages, and you created fanatics.

01:15:08.000 You created men who basically had lost their village and their young men.

01:15:13.000 And the Soviets were looking for natural gas?

01:15:15.000 Is that what they were looking for?

01:15:16.000 No, the Soviets were just looking for a buffer. 0.84

01:15:20.000 I believe they were looking essentially for a buffer zone between Pakistan and themselves.

01:15:30.000 Oh, that makes sense.

01:15:31.000 It was just all due to the Cold War.

01:15:34.000 Wow.

01:15:34.000 And they were afraid they were going to lose control of Afghanistan.

01:15:38.000 where do we have Afghanistan never really had nobody ever wanted to be in Afghanistan you didn't want to be living in the Khyber Pass it's too forbidding there wasn't oil there they say there's minerals there Good luck. 0.99

01:15:48.000 Nobody fucking wants the minerals.

01:15:49.000 We get plenty of minerals from Africa and places that are much easier. 0.99

01:15:53.000 Nobody wants to go into Afghanistan. 0.97

01:15:54.000 It's always been a group of unruly, very proud people.

01:15:56.000 Well, that's actually not totally true because there's a lot of people that are rising up against the problems.

01:16:01.000 But back then, nobody had the resources to take those.

01:16:03.000 Yeah, but nobody wanted to get involved.

01:16:04.000 What do you mean back then?

01:16:06.000 In the 79 when they...

01:16:07.000 Oh, I see what you're saying. 0.97

01:16:08.000 It was just fucking too difficult. 0.98

01:16:10.000 They didn't understand. 0.97

01:16:11.000 Nobody ever anticipated the worth of the minerals, though, for cell phones.

01:16:15.000 You know, like lithium ion for batteries.

01:16:17.000 It's one of the best mining areas in the world.

01:16:21.000 I don't know.

01:16:21.000 For all these different...

01:16:22.000 I don't know.

01:16:22.000 It's all over.

01:16:23.000 All these different scientific journals have cited it.

01:16:26.000 I mean, they've found over a trillion dollars worth of minerals.

01:16:28.000 We'll see if anybody is willing to put the money into that. 1.00

01:16:33.000 It's such a fucking pain in the ass. 1.00

01:16:35.000 Dude, I can't understand why you would say that. 1.00

01:16:37.000 There's a trillion dollars laying in the ground.

01:16:39.000 You're telling me there's not going to be big businesses going to pull that out of there?

01:16:43.000 A trillion dollars.

01:16:44.000 Or buy oil. 0.99

01:16:44.000 Dude, a trillion dollars can change the fucking world. 0.99

01:16:47.000 A trillion dollars can put a company into an incredible position of power. 0.99

01:16:51.000 You should research it before we talk any further about this.

01:16:54.000 I don't know.

01:16:55.000 It's indisputable.

01:16:56.000 They found a gigantic ore of minerals that they had always suspected, but it's much, much larger than they thought.

01:17:00.000 I don't believe that we went into Afghanistan.

01:17:02.000 I think we went into Afghanistan because they were harboring al-Qaeda.

01:17:05.000 It was very hard to get it politically.

01:17:07.000 You can't say to the American public, hey, we've got minerals, we've got to go on.

01:17:10.000 So I think everybody wants it to be either or.

01:17:13.000 You know, oh, we went into there because we're corrupt and we're trying to take all their poppies because it's billions of dollars worth of heroin.

01:17:18.000 It's a lot of things.

01:17:19.000 No.

01:17:19.000 It's not either or.

01:17:20.000 It's a goddamn soup of shit. 1.00

01:17:22.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:17:23.000 And by the way, it doesn't hurt that they can make money off the poppies.

01:17:26.000 It doesn't hurt that there's a trillion dollars worth of minerals.

01:17:28.000 It doesn't hurt.

01:17:29.000 We should try.

01:17:29.000 Try to predict the next hot mineral for the future.

01:17:31.000 When you get in there, there's opportunity, right?

01:17:33.000 But isn't it funny how everybody wants to have a black or white issue?

01:17:36.000 It's either a crazy conspiracy theory or this is just the unfortunate nature of reality.

01:17:41.000 That's movies.

01:17:42.000 Because we want that.

01:17:44.000 It's easier to understand.

01:17:45.000 It's so amazing.

01:17:46.000 Real life is way sloppier.

01:17:47.000 Real life is way sloppier.

01:17:48.000 When you talked to, I think it was Tony Snow before he died, they were saying, well, what are you guys going to do about this situation?

01:17:53.000 He said, guys, when we're in the Oval Office and you've got a bunch of people there with all the top brass in the military and the CIA and then you've got the State Department, we do exactly what you think we do.

01:18:03.000 Try sitting in a room with 30 people and come up with one idea.

01:18:08.000 Try to come up with one thing everybody agrees on.

01:18:10.000 You don't.

01:18:11.000 Everybody's banding ideas back and forth.

01:18:13.000 People are disagreeing with each other.

01:18:14.000 People are pissed off because you talked over me.

01:18:17.000 Nobody can get the president's ear.

01:18:19.000 And that's what happens. 0.97

01:18:20.000 And then the president has to go into a room with three of his advisors and they have to fucking go, we've got seven options that we've been presenting. 0.95

01:18:25.000 No, why do you think that in that case, why do you think that Obama is such a wishy-washy dude? 0.84

01:18:32.000 Why do you think he's the guy that is willing to pass the NDAA bill?

01:18:36.000 He's the guy that is...

01:18:38.000 I think my feeling, and I don't know, but my feeling is, and the mistake Obama made, and I think the opportunity he wasted was not...

01:18:48.000 I think he's an academic, first of all, and I think he's by nature a very, very...

01:18:55.000 He's an intellectual, and he looks at both sides, and I think he's by nature fairly indecisive, maybe because he's an intellectual.

01:19:03.000 Really?

01:19:04.000 I think so.

01:19:05.000 I'm just speaking.

01:19:06.000 I think he's compromised.

01:19:07.000 I think he's clearly compromised.

01:19:08.000 I think he doesn't have the...

01:19:10.000 I don't know.

01:19:11.000 There's nothing...

01:19:12.000 I don't necessarily agree that he's that smart, and also I don't think that he has the backbone.

01:19:18.000 I agree with you there.

01:19:19.000 I don't think he's an effective leader.

01:19:20.000 I think that he should be more convicted.

01:19:23.000 He should have stronger conviction.

01:19:24.000 Well, he does have strong convictions towards the people who got him in power, and that's what you've got to look at.

01:19:28.000 Look, people spent a lot of money to get that guy into the position that he's in, and he's working for them now.

01:19:33.000 It's as clear as day.

01:19:35.000 Yeah, well, listen, let's look at that.

01:19:37.000 A president spends two years doing his policy, and then he spends the next two years trying to get re-elected.

01:19:42.000 He's just basically trying to keep everybody reasonable.

01:19:45.000 It's like, come on, folks. 0.99

01:19:46.000 Let's just be reasonable with how hard we fuck these people. 0.99

01:19:49.000 I mean, that's really what a president's job is. 0.99

01:19:51.000 They get in, and the best they can do is say, I really don't agree with this, but I have to sign it.

01:19:56.000 And that's what he did with the NDAA. He voted against Iraq, and I always appreciate that. 1.00

01:20:00.000 You said, I don't believe in going into Iraq.

01:20:03.000 Yeah, but meanwhile, here we are.

01:20:05.000 Here we are.

01:20:07.000 A lot of it's tough for a president. 0.99

01:20:09.000 Fuck yeah, it's tough. 0.99

01:20:10.000 How much say do you think he really has? 0.99

01:20:14.000 Is it possible for him to go against those people?

01:20:18.000 Is it even possible?

01:20:19.000 Well, he can't do a thing without Congress, right?

01:20:21.000 So he has exactly It used to be that way, but you don't have to declare war anymore. 0.99

01:20:27.000 You just start going over places, and next thing you know, shit happens.

01:20:31.000 Was war ever declared? 0.94

01:20:33.000 There were a couple of conflicts that we were involved in where Congress did not step in and declare war.

01:20:37.000 You mean Vietnam?

01:20:38.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:20:40.000 I mean, we don't necessarily need it.

01:20:43.000 There's emergency executive powers, you know.

01:20:45.000 And that's another creepy thing. 0.98

01:20:47.000 It's like when you find out how many fucking bills and laws are passed just under your nose and flying by. 0.99

01:20:53.000 Congress passed 40,000 laws last year. 1.00

01:20:55.000 Jesus fucking Christ! 1.00

01:20:58.000 40,000 laws, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00

01:20:59.000 What is that?

01:21:00.000 Do you really need that?

01:21:01.000 I believe that is the number.

01:21:03.000 What I say is that you need Clint Eastwood laws.

01:21:06.000 And this is what a Clint Eastwood law is.

01:21:08.000 If you couldn't imagine Clint Eastwood arresting somebody for it, then it should be legal.

01:21:12.000 Common sense law. 0.99

01:21:13.000 It's fucking Clint Eastwood. 1.00

01:21:15.000 It's only assholes, douchebags, meth heads, guy who needs a punch, someone you have to shoot. 1.00

01:21:20.000 That's laws! 1.00

01:21:21.000 But you get into really complicated issues with, for example, anti-piracy laws.

01:21:25.000 How far do you go with that stuff, right?

01:21:27.000 So, you know, you and I love...

01:21:29.000 Raging debate on my website about this, by the way.

01:21:31.000 Well, yeah, because the website, because the web is the last frontier of free speech, of free everything, and it's not regulated.

01:21:38.000 Now, if you want to stop intellectual property from being stolen by countries like China, what do you do? 0.83

01:21:43.000 Do you pass a bunch of laws?

01:21:45.000 Would that help the problem?

01:21:46.000 I don't think it would.

01:21:47.000 Well, we would have to step up and say somehow or another we're going to boycott.

01:21:53.000 You couldn't boycott the whole country. 0.69

01:21:56.000 That would be ridiculous.

01:21:57.000 You couldn't do that. 0.74

01:21:58.000 You couldn't make a few people that won't play nice internationally responsible for the whole country. 0.99

01:22:03.000 What the fuck would you do, man? 0.98

01:22:05.000 Well, you know, what you've got to do is, somehow or another, get it into people's minds when they're really, really young, really young, that the world is so much better if you're cool to people. 0.99

01:22:16.000 And then once they get there, I mean, it's spreading that...

01:22:19.000 No, we haven't completely done it.

01:22:21.000 No, we haven't, never will, but here's the thing.

01:22:23.000 But that's not necessarily true, because we've never had access to human beings the way we have access now on the Internet.

01:22:29.000 And I think that human beings...

01:22:33.000 Two things happen.

01:22:34.000 One, you develop in a terrible environment and you develop all these defense mechanisms and genes that are only activated under extreme stress. 1.00

01:22:42.000 You develop a whole culture of people that are in a bad situation on a regular basis and are wired for that shit. 1.00

01:22:49.000 That's terrible. 0.99

01:22:50.000 You also develop a bunch of people who don't get love on a regular basis.

01:22:54.000 They don't know how to give love.

01:22:55.000 They don't have a real true sense of community.

01:22:57.000 You have real problems if you don't educate people on how to be a person.

01:23:01.000 But once you do, and once you can, you can slowly change things.

01:23:05.000 You can change the way children are raised.

01:23:07.000 You can change the way relationships between your neighbors are formed.

01:23:10.000 And you can slowly spread this out to the point where it can Have a real effect.

01:23:16.000 It can essentially be a new operating system for people.

01:23:20.000 Well, for the most part, I've got two thoughts on that.

01:23:22.000 One is if you read Tim Ferriss' book, The 4-Hour Workweek, not The 4-Hour Body, but The 4-Hour Workweek.

01:23:26.000 Listen, man, I ain't got no time.

01:23:28.000 I'm trying to get some 4-Hour Biceps.

01:23:30.000 There it is.

01:23:32.000 He's really a great author, isn't he?

01:23:34.000 I really love that.

01:23:34.000 He's great.

01:23:35.000 For our body, it's fascinating.

01:23:37.000 I love that book and I love the other one.

01:23:39.000 And he said something, and it goes to the internet and stealing and things.

01:23:43.000 Look, he said, when you give people, like you do it here with the brain thing, you say, if you don't like it, don't even send it back, we'll give you your money back.

01:23:52.000 When you do something like from a business plan, and he talks about it, he says, just tell people you'll give them either, you can tell people you'll give them double their money back.

01:24:00.000 And people go, well, people will abuse it.

01:24:02.000 I'll go broke.

01:24:03.000 Guess what?

01:24:04.000 About 2% of the people out there always abuse it.

01:24:08.000 Always.

01:24:09.000 And the rest of them don't.

01:24:10.000 And the bottom line is, it's like stealing music, okay? 0.99

01:24:13.000 Once you started getting out there that piracy is stealing, Most people, and I don't steal fucking music, okay? 0.98

01:24:19.000 Some people do. 0.93

01:24:19.000 But I was like, I'm an artist. 0.93

01:24:21.000 I'm about to come out with my one-hour special.

01:24:23.000 I'm like, I don't want people stealing it.

01:24:24.000 I mean, it'd be nice if they paid for it, I guess.

01:24:26.000 I feel guilty.

01:24:28.000 I feel guilty because I listened to a great song and all the effort that went into it.

01:24:31.000 I don't want to steal it.

01:24:32.000 And actually, most people, most people don't steal music.

01:24:36.000 Most people go to iTunes.

01:24:37.000 Except for ages 12 to 25 because they have no money.

01:24:41.000 Sure, but even then, man, even then, if you look at the statistics, even then, If you look at this decision...

01:24:46.000 Listen, I am a shitty business person because I don't think about business. 0.61

01:24:52.000 I try to think about it. 0.93

01:24:53.000 I want to think about business as little as possible.

01:24:55.000 Me too, man.

01:24:56.000 If anybody's ever said to me, like, hey, if I could get your DVD on Torrent or should I buy it, I'm like, you know what, man?

01:25:03.000 You should do whatever feels right to you.

01:25:05.000 That's what you should do.

01:25:06.000 Okay?

01:25:06.000 If you don't want to pay for it, don't pay for it.

01:25:08.000 If you feel like it's okay to take it, just go ahead.

01:25:11.000 I mean, it's not...

01:25:12.000 Look, I'm going to...

01:25:13.000 I'm going to put stuff out there, and I'm going to put it out there with the honest intention of trying to entertain people.

01:25:17.000 I'm going to say, this is what the fee is, and if you pay it, you pay it.

01:25:20.000 That's it.

01:25:21.000 You know, what Louis C.K. did is the perfect thing, where he released it himself.

01:25:24.000 Total direct connection between the artist.

01:25:26.000 Put it out for five bucks, which is awesome.

01:25:27.000 That's great.

01:25:28.000 You know, it's a perfect price.

01:25:29.000 And, you know, what I think, that's the future.

01:25:31.000 Well, I download amazing books, like the book I'm talking about, Exodus.

01:25:35.000 I download it for seven dollars.

01:25:36.000 But even Louis, they pirated his thing, even though he said, you know, he asked people not to steal it, don't put it up on torrents.

01:25:41.000 You're always going to have some people do that.

01:25:43.000 But they're always going to.

01:25:43.000 But you know what, man?

01:25:44.000 Some people don't have five bucks, okay? 0.99

01:25:47.000 And I know it sounds stupid, but you can't... 0.96

01:25:49.000 Credit card companies... 0.98

01:25:51.000 This is my point.

01:25:52.000 Unless you're starving because of all this, you can't fixate on it.

01:25:55.000 The correct thing to fixate on is get out your point of view.

01:26:00.000 Look, I've been in a position before where I was broke, and unfortunately for me, there was no internet at the time.

01:26:05.000 I didn't have the opportunity to just download music.

01:26:08.000 But of course I would have.

01:26:09.000 When I had no money, would I be like, I would love to listen to this Led Zeppelin album, but I want to be a good person.

01:26:14.000 You know what I would say? 0.99

01:26:15.000 I'm going to buy this fucking thing someday when I have some money, but right now I'm going to download the shit out of it. 0.99

01:26:19.000 It's beautiful. 0.99

01:26:20.000 By the way, artists make money.

01:26:21.000 They're still making money.

01:26:22.000 Yeah, they're not starving. 0.99

01:26:23.000 And by the way, it's beautiful that all that shit gets out there. 0.99

01:26:26.000 I want everybody to download every fucking Led Zeppelin album that's ever made. 0.99

01:26:29.000 And if it's, you know, a dollar that you can't afford to get fucking a whole lot of love, go find it somewhere, man. 0.98

01:26:35.000 Listen to it on YouTube.

01:26:36.000 There's like things you can take where you can take a song off YouTube and they'll convert it into an MP3 for you now.

01:26:41.000 Credit card companies have, I think it's...

01:26:43.000 Is that even stealing?

01:26:44.000 No, but credit card companies always have what they factor in a certain fraud quotient into their business plan.

01:26:52.000 Right.

01:26:53.000 It's really interesting because actually like 2.2 or something, it's almost always the same percentage.

01:26:59.000 2.2% of the population is going to defraud you and you're going to lose money.

01:27:02.000 And they just factor that in.

01:27:04.000 That's amazing.

01:27:05.000 It's the same percentage that you were talking about earlier with double your money back guarantee with the alpha brain supplements.

01:27:12.000 Yeah, if you did do that, I bet you're right.

01:27:13.000 I bet it would be the same 2%. 0.95

01:27:14.000 There's always a group of people that are going to do it. 1.00

01:27:17.000 Two out of 100 suck. 0.99

01:27:19.000 Maybe that's the number. 1.00

01:27:20.000 Maybe that is the number. 1.00

01:27:21.000 Because I've always said it's like 50% of people suck, but they don't. 1.00

01:27:24.000 It's like sociopaths, right? 1.00

01:27:25.000 One in 100 people is a sociopath or something crazy like that? 0.99

01:27:28.000 Something nutty like that, yeah.

01:27:29.000 That's a disturbing figure, man. 1.00

01:27:31.000 One in 100 people doesn't care if you're fucked up or not. 0.99

01:27:34.000 One in 100 people just have no feelings for other people. 0.99

01:27:37.000 That scares me. 1.00

01:27:38.000 Sticking rods in their asshole and Well, those are very rare, like serial killers and sex slash killers. 1.00

01:27:44.000 By the way, now that I just remember it, when you were talking about that guy who got fucked to death by the horse, he might have been one of those. 1.00

01:27:50.000 He had piercings all over his balls. 1.00

01:27:52.000 There you go. 1.00

01:27:53.000 You fucking nailed it. 0.99

01:27:54.000 I totally forgot about that. 0.99

01:27:55.000 Yeah.

01:27:55.000 That guy had, remember?

01:27:57.000 He had a gang of piercings.

01:27:58.000 Yeah.

01:27:58.000 If you're doing extreme things like that, you've lost the ability to feel.

01:28:02.000 Think about it.

01:28:03.000 You've got to jack it up.

01:28:04.000 For me, the fleshlight is fantastic, ladies and gentlemen.

01:28:06.000 Get it on JoeRogan.com.

01:28:08.000 Isn't it crazy with that recent arsonist here in Los Angeles that it doesn't happen more often? 0.99

01:28:13.000 That one out of a hundred just doesn't start fucking... 0.95

01:28:17.000 I mean, I guess it does in some ways, but not to that extent. 0.95

01:28:19.000 You know what?

01:28:20.000 The reality is what Brian was talking about earlier.

01:28:22.000 Is that Brian Callen was talking about earlier, is that this is a pretty good time to live. 0.99

01:28:27.000 You know, we could fix it on the negative shit. 0.99

01:28:29.000 This is a pretty good time to live. 0.99

01:28:30.000 And it's 2012. You know, this big change that everyone's going to look back on, you know, like the idea that the Mayans were correct and the time wave zero novelty theory.

01:28:41.000 Are you aware of what that is?

01:28:42.000 No.

01:28:42.000 Time Wave Zero Novelty Theory was a mathematic algorithm created by Terence McKenna, the great psychedelic bard and author and botanist.

01:28:51.000 And he went on a mushroom trip in the jungle and came up with this idea based on the I Ching, because he had studied the I Ching, and he came up with this idea that the I Ching was a map of time.

01:29:03.000 And that he was going to construct a mathematic algorithm based on the I Ching that would literally track progress and human innovation, you could track it like a wave that it was a mathematical program.

01:29:15.000 Yeah, that's how high he got!

01:29:17.000 How about that? 1.00

01:29:18.000 Some people sit around and think about the fucking... 1.00

01:29:20.000 They have original thoughts that are so fucking deep. 1.00

01:29:22.000 And it came.

01:29:23.000 And it came to a point of what he called ultimate novelty, which means something, novelty meaning innovation, novelty meaning some new thing that had not existed before, or some new branch of some new thing, and that a period of a point of ultimate novelty will be achieved December 21st, 2012.

01:29:42.000 Now here's what's fucked up about that.

01:29:44.000 That is the exact same day, to the day, as the end of the Mayan calendar. 0.77

01:29:50.000 So he came up independently on his own with this crazy mathematical algorithm that I don't even know if it's real.

01:29:56.000 It sounds ridiculous, but if you believe the guy, he says that he did not know the end of the Mayan calendar until much later, that he had been working on this mathematical program for like 30 years, bringing in mathematicians to work on it, and apparently there's some debate over whether or not he had fudged numbers.

01:30:12.000 I'm way too dumb when it comes to math to understand any of it, but the idea has always fascinated me of, even if it's on a date, December 21st, 2012, even if it's on a date, but the idea of it, the idea that it's inevitable, that it really must have, it's going to happen. 0.83

01:30:27.000 And if you look at how fast shit has happened to get to the point we're at today, and just a few hundred, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred years ago, the way we were living is just unrecognizable. 0.60

01:30:36.000 The hard surfaces on the roads, and things flying in the sky, and the lights in the city. 0.97

01:30:41.000 Or that you knew, and now you know his name because he made up this whole bullshit, you know, like he knew the Mayan calendar from the whole time, you know what I mean? 0.88

01:30:49.000 What? 0.95

01:30:50.000 The guy that you're saying that either he knew about it or he didn't know about it.

01:30:54.000 Well, no, they hadn't even...

01:30:55.000 No, he had actually...

01:30:55.000 Or he knew about it.

01:30:56.000 I'm pretty sure he actually had come up with...

01:30:59.000 I'm pretty sure it's been proven that he had either come up with it before they had deciphered the Mayan calendar...

01:31:05.000 Or that he definitely hadn't studied it.

01:31:08.000 It wasn't mainstream news enough.

01:31:10.000 It was enough that I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

01:31:12.000 And plus, the dude was super honest.

01:31:14.000 If you listen to Terrence McKenna lectures, really fascinating individual.

01:31:18.000 He had a lot of interesting, fascinating things to say.

01:31:20.000 I've got to listen to him.

01:31:22.000 Brilliant, brilliant guy.

01:31:23.000 Really amazing.

01:31:25.000 Math theorists kill me.

01:31:26.000 Well, he's not a math theorist.

01:31:28.000 See, that's the crazy thing, is that he wasn't...

01:31:29.000 He just had this crazy idea that came to him on mushrooms, and the most ridiculous aspect of it was he asked the mushrooms, why me?

01:31:37.000 Why are you giving this to me?

01:31:38.000 And they said, because out of the thousands of years that we've been in this field, no one's ever come up to us who had the I Ching in their head before.

01:31:46.000 So what it was, was to him, was he happened to be in a place where he had studied some incredibly ancient...

01:31:54.000 Chinese divination system.

01:31:56.000 It's a real mystery what the I Ching is, because it's a method of fortune-telling, and it seems to be incredibly effective, statistically, numerically effective.

01:32:06.000 It's really weird.

01:32:07.000 People try to figure out what it is about the I Ching, but it works more than it doesn't work.

01:32:12.000 And what does that even mean?

01:32:13.000 I don't know.

01:32:13.000 I don't understand it, but it's based on hexagrams.

01:32:16.000 It's based on these patterns, and McKenna coming into this field, eating these mushrooms, tripping his fucking balls out, had this ridiculous idea that what the I Ching really was was the Chinese, at some point in history, a long fucking time ago, had figured out a map of time.

01:32:31.000 Well, you know, like the guy who won the Fields Medal, right? 0.94

01:32:34.000 When he figured the answer out, there was an equation.

01:32:36.000 The Russian dude.

01:32:37.000 Yeah, and so they don't even know.

01:32:38.000 So just the equation, just the question was already theoretical, right?

01:32:41.000 The question is, it may not be a question, but let's just say it is a question.

01:32:46.000 And mathematicians have been contemplating the answer for the past 200 years.

01:32:51.000 The guy comes up with the answer, and the answer, I think, was like 357 pages long.

01:32:56.000 But the funny thing about that is that at the end of the 350 pages, all the great mathematicians went, He got it!

01:33:04.000 I missed that! 0.99

01:33:06.000 Damn it! 1.00

01:33:07.000 He figured it out! 1.00

01:33:08.000 Think about your mindset.

01:33:09.000 What?

01:33:10.000 You were able to read the answer that was 357 pages long ago. 1.00

01:33:14.000 And as a group, the group of great mathematicians that award the medal go, motherfucker! 0.98

01:33:19.000 For one person that is an incredible achievement. 0.97

01:33:21.000 Right, but also the fact that you can prove mathematically that the answer is right, that's pretty cool, right? 0.55

01:33:29.000 I want to be real clear that I'm not supporting this McCann theory, because people go, oh, you fucking believe anything.

01:33:35.000 I am absolutely not believing it.

01:33:36.000 How much money did you make up in 2012?

01:33:39.000 He's dead, Brian.

01:33:40.000 I know, but how much do you think he's made off of that?

01:33:42.000 I don't know.

01:33:43.000 You could look at it that way, but I think he made a lot more money off of lectures on psychedelics than he ever did on this Time Wave Zero thing.

01:33:50.000 When you look at the fact that the guy worked on it for over 30 years, it seems to be some weird labor of love and obsession that he had.

01:33:56.000 I don't know if it's correct.

01:33:57.000 I don't know if it makes any sense at all. 0.97

01:33:58.000 I don't know if it's total horseshit.

01:33:59.000 I just think it's fascinating that a person would spend so much time Making a correlation between the I Ching and a 13-cycle, 28-day lunar calendar that is apparently more accurate than the calendar that we employ today.

01:34:12.000 And that you could use the I Ching as a calendar, and the I Ching was somehow or another some map of waves. 0.62

01:34:18.000 And that novelty and positive things, it's never a steady rise to the top.

01:34:25.000 What I think is interesting about what you're bringing up is that the fact of the matter is with technology, and we've talked about this before, we're probably going to live, if you live long enough for the next 30 years, we're probably going to live through things that are going to take our entire paradigm of reality and what we see as reality and certainly the world we live in and destroy the entire thing.

01:34:49.000 The boundaries.

01:34:50.000 Dissolve the boundaries.

01:34:51.000 Yeah.

01:34:53.000 We'll have to reinvent what...

01:34:56.000 I think that the questions of being a human being will always remain.

01:34:59.000 I think there are questions that we ask ourselves as human beings.

01:35:02.000 What is fulfillment?

01:35:03.000 Who am I? What am I doing here?

01:35:06.000 Those are questions that...

01:35:09.000 That's a responsibility you can't run away from. 1.00

01:35:11.000 It's why I love Seneca and reading those guys, because you read those fuckers. 0.96

01:35:15.000 And these dudes who sat around thinking 2,500, 3,500 years ago, and they came up with questions that you still have to answer. 0.99

01:35:22.000 And most of us, most of us, when you read that shit, you go, What happens to you is you go, oh, I'm living in a fucking, I'm living in a glass house or a box of cards. 0.96

01:35:33.000 Like most of my belief system, most of how I live my life, a lot of times, you know, when you read it, you go, there's not a lot of scaffolding for that. 0.99

01:35:41.000 There's not a lot of, you know, there's not a lot of like, I can't really justify it along true moral or truthful terms.

01:35:47.000 And that's what Socrates and Seneca would do.

01:35:49.000 He would just ask you questions like that.

01:35:51.000 It's really interesting. 1.00

01:35:52.000 You know, you kind of, you kind of, that's why reading the dialogues is such a mind fuck. 1.00

01:35:56.000 Because all it is is just a series of questions, and you go, hmm, fuck. 0.99

01:35:59.000 Well, I believe this, and I have some standing, and now you're asking me a question I don't really have the answer to. 0.99

01:36:06.000 I was listening to this talk about the Library of Alexandria and how it was burned down, not once, but twice.

01:36:13.000 Once by followers of the Koran. 0.95

01:36:16.000 And apparently they looked at it.

01:36:18.000 The Muslim. 0.75

01:36:19.000 Yeah, the Muslim said that apparently they looked at it and said anything here that disputes the Koran is heretic.

01:36:23.000 Anything that supports the Koran is unnecessary. 1.00

01:36:27.000 Burn the whole fucking thing down. 1.00

01:36:28.000 It's like a million volumes. 1.00

01:36:30.000 And it was essentially the same people that built the goddamn fucking pyramids. 0.99

01:36:34.000 You know, I mean, what kind of information was lost? 1.00

01:36:37.000 I mean, how...

01:36:37.000 Like, when you talk about the I Ching, forget about whether or not it's really a map of time.

01:36:42.000 But what is it?

01:36:44.000 It is really, obviously, something incredibly complicated.

01:36:47.000 You know, and there's this series of hexagrams, and there's obviously something to it.

01:36:51.000 It's not a random thing.

01:36:52.000 There's something studied about it.

01:36:54.000 There's a book called How the Irish Saved Civilization.

01:36:56.000 Have you heard of it?

01:36:57.000 No.

01:36:57.000 By Kaplan.

01:36:59.000 I can't think his name is Kaplan.

01:37:00.000 He's a great, great historian.

01:37:01.000 I've read a couple of his books, and...

01:37:04.000 During the Dark Ages, when Alexander was burned down and during the Christian Crusades and also when the Ottoman Empire came in and took over and things, a lot of this knowledge was lost.

01:37:18.000 But the people that actually were the only people that could write back then in Europe were primarily the Irish clergy.

01:37:27.000 The priests.

01:37:28.000 And they would write down, they copied these books, they painstakingly copied a lot of these books and carried them around with them and carried them in their oral traditions as well.

01:37:38.000 And so a lot of that information, like the Greeks and all the things that we base our political system on, Was carried through, at least the thesis of this book, was carried through by these Irish scribes, by the Irish clergy, who during the Dark Ages kept the tradition of this alive in books and kept their own libraries hidden.

01:37:58.000 Isn't it amazing when you look back at really, really ancient academics, like when people would go to Egypt, a lot of the Greeks would travel to Egypt to study.

01:38:10.000 At one point in time, there was obviously some gigantic pool of information.

01:38:15.000 There was a much more advanced society than we give credit to.

01:38:20.000 That's for sure.

01:38:21.000 It's amazing, isn't it? 1.00

01:38:23.000 Some asshole burned it all down. 1.00

01:38:25.000 They lost everything. 1.00

01:38:26.000 But then you don't lose everything.

01:38:29.000 But then as you get older you realize that...

01:38:30.000 But it's probably more advanced today, right?

01:38:32.000 Wouldn't you assume?

01:38:34.000 Yes, in many ways.

01:38:35.000 Because we are privy to more information.

01:38:37.000 Because we are becoming...

01:38:39.000 I would liken it to how martial arts has changed exponentially.

01:38:45.000 Because everybody is sharing information.

01:38:47.000 I agree with you 100% until we start talking about the pyramids.

01:38:50.000 And then I just go, well, explain that.

01:38:52.000 How the hell did they do that?

01:38:53.000 There you go.

01:38:54.000 That's amazing.

01:38:54.000 I don't know.

01:38:55.000 To at least 2,500 BC, maybe even earlier.

01:38:59.000 It's incredible.

01:39:00.000 Insane.

01:39:01.000 That's a good point, too.

01:39:02.000 It's the most amazing physical accomplishment that human beings have ever done.

01:39:06.000 Forget about not in the industrial age.

01:39:08.000 Yeah, and I also think, like, if you look at St. Peter's Cathedral, have you ever been there?

01:39:11.000 Have you ever seen that?

01:39:11.000 No, only in photos, but it is incredible.

01:39:14.000 It's beyond what you can imagine.

01:39:15.000 Even as young boys, to go there, because my uncle lived in Rome, and I would go, and I'd look, and I'd spend all this time there.

01:39:20.000 Because...

01:39:21.000 That would never be...

01:39:22.000 Nobody would ever do that today.

01:39:24.000 That's not true, man.

01:39:25.000 Did you hear about that guy that got arrested in Italy because they thought that he was building some sort of a military thing and they were going to storm his house with guns until he let them in?

01:39:34.000 He had a modest home in the countryside and then inside his house was a giant fucking construction that went into the hills and the mountains and it was a beautiful cathedral, incredible artwork.

01:39:44.000 I mean, this place was massive and stunning. 0.96

01:39:48.000 And stunning.

01:39:49.000 And it was him and just a few friends, and somehow or another they've been working on this for 20, 30 years. 1.00

01:39:53.000 And everybody was like, what is this crazy asshole doing digging a hole? 1.00

01:39:57.000 Dude, you have to look at it. 1.00

01:39:59.000 Because it is art for the sake of art.

01:40:01.000 He didn't want anyone to know about it.

01:40:03.000 And it's beautiful.

01:40:04.000 He has rooms that are like Egyptian rooms with like hieroglyphs and sarcophagus.

01:40:08.000 It's online.

01:40:09.000 Just look up Italian, home, mountain, look up not whole... 1.00

01:40:17.000 What would you call it?

01:40:18.000 Artwork?

01:40:19.000 What would you call it?

01:40:20.000 Cathedral?

01:40:21.000 Temple?

01:40:22.000 Italian home temple?

01:40:23.000 Well, what I mean is that the craft of stone making and when they take a tapestry and two generations of artists would work on it.

01:40:33.000 So one generation would work on it for his lifetime, then die, and then the next generation, his apprentice, would come and finish it.

01:40:38.000 And all those things, when you look at St. Peter's Cathedral, that was a group of people that were so divinely inspired, the notion that they were just making what you said, art for...

01:40:47.000 For art's sake, as an homage to something much rare.

01:40:48.000 Come over here and look at this real quick.

01:40:50.000 Come over here and look at this real quick.

01:40:51.000 Put this down.

01:40:52.000 Look up, folks.

01:40:53.000 Look up Eighth Wonder of the World on the UK or the mail online.

01:40:58.000 Stunning Temple secretly carved out below ground by Paranormal Eccentric. 1.00

01:41:02.000 Look at these fucking photos, man. 1.00

01:41:04.000 I mean, you can't even wrap your head around this shit. 1.00

01:41:07.000 This guy made this in a countryside. 0.99

01:41:11.000 Just for the sake of beauty.

01:41:13.000 It's insane. 1.00

01:41:14.000 I mean, this guy built all this shit in the countryside, man. 1.00

01:41:18.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:41:19.000 Jesus.

01:41:19.000 Look at his ceiling.

01:41:20.000 Jesus.

01:41:22.000 It's incredible.

01:41:24.000 You would say that, but he did it today.

01:41:26.000 This is recent.

01:41:27.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:41:28.000 I mean, this is incredible shit. 1.00

01:41:29.000 Look at the floor on this place. 1.00

01:41:31.000 Look at the artwork on the pillar. 0.98

01:41:32.000 I mean, it is some of the most stunning shit, and I don't like that stuff. 0.97

01:41:36.000 I was over to these people's house. 1.00

01:41:38.000 They're very nice folks, but they have this ridiculous mural, like a painted mural on the wall, and it's like bad art, and it looks so like a boat and shit, and some fucking asshole fisherman. 1.00

01:41:47.000 You're like, what are you doing here? 1.00

01:41:49.000 There's a restaurant by my house that just hired their daughter, I think, to do it. 0.76

01:41:51.000 Look at this, Brian.

01:41:52.000 I'm sorry, one more.

01:41:53.000 Take a look at this.

01:41:53.000 I want to show you.

01:41:54.000 This is the hallway that leads into it.

01:41:56.000 Look at that.

01:41:56.000 They carved that into the mountain.

01:41:58.000 Yeah, they carved that into the mountain.

01:41:59.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

01:42:00.000 For the folks that are just listening, the artwork on the wall is spectacular.

01:42:04.000 The floor, the marble on the floor is just immaculate.

01:42:08.000 It's amazing.

01:42:08.000 And look, this is the outside of the house.

01:42:11.000 Yep, just a regular house.

01:42:12.000 Just a weird regular house.

01:42:14.000 Oh my god.

01:42:15.000 That's cool. 0.99

01:42:15.000 Yep, and they were moving so much dirt out of there that everybody was like, and they did it for a long ass fucking time. 0.99

01:42:21.000 That's what makes the world a better place. 0.97

01:42:23.000 They occupy 300,000 cubic feet.

01:42:26.000 That's an act of faith, you know?

01:42:28.000 That's an act of faith.

01:42:29.000 Look at this.

01:42:29.000 Big Ben, the clock, is 15,000 cubic feet.

01:42:33.000 Under this guy's house, he had 300,000 cubic feet. 0.97

01:42:39.000 Think of how big this fucking thing is that this guy built inside the countryside underneath his house. 0.99

01:42:45.000 That's incredible. 1.00

01:42:45.000 It's amazing. 1.00

01:42:46.000 A 57-year-old former insurance broker from northern Italy who, inspired by a childhood vision, began digging into the rock.

01:42:53.000 There it is.

01:42:53.000 It all began in the 60s when he was 10. God!

01:42:57.000 Damn! 1.00

01:42:58.000 Yeah, there's some motherfuckers out there, dude. 1.00

01:43:00.000 I mean, why isn't this a movie? 1.00

01:43:02.000 But look at Michelangelo!

01:43:03.000 Michelangelo went blind from painting the Sistine Chapel.

01:43:06.000 Oh yeah, by the way, I credited Leonardo da Vinci with that the other day.

01:43:10.000 We were super high.

01:43:11.000 Me and Everlast were talking.

01:43:12.000 So folks, folks, correct me on Twitter.

01:43:13.000 Thank you very much.

01:43:14.000 I appreciate it.

01:43:15.000 For some reason, when I get high, I forget that Leonardo da Vinci and...

01:43:19.000 Banksy.

01:43:20.000 They were contemporaries, though.

01:43:22.000 Yes, they were, but I forget that Michelangelo was a different guy. 0.98

01:43:26.000 You know, Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo and my stupid head are like one person. 0.95

01:43:29.000 No, in fact, if you read The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone, Michelangelo was a short, kind of skinny with a pug nose, and da Vinci was a stud. 0.99

01:43:38.000 He's a stud.

01:43:38.000 He's a genie.

01:43:39.000 And da Vinci was the one who was the real inventor, too, right?

01:43:43.000 Yes, yes. 1.00

01:43:44.000 Michelangelo was a badass artist, but da Vinci was inventing fucking space planes and shit. 0.99

01:43:49.000 That's right. 0.99

01:43:49.000 Yeah, what a freak show that guy was, huh? 0.99

01:43:52.000 Well, the Sistine fucking chaplain went blind. 1.00

01:43:54.000 He couldn't stop. 0.99

01:43:54.000 The greatest thing, the greatest fucking, the greatest line for Michelangelo when he, and to define what you are as a person in art, was when he looked at the fucking, at this huge piece of marble, and he's about to carve the statue of David, and his girlfriend at the time, his one love, said to him, what, how are you going to do this? 0.99

01:44:13.000 And he said, it's already in there. 0.93

01:44:15.000 I just have to get all this stuff out of the way.

01:44:18.000 And it's a great metaphor for art or a human being. 0.98

01:44:20.000 You start a piece of shit, and if you can delete enough stuff, just through hard work and carving and stuff, you can become a better person. 0.98

01:44:29.000 It's so important that people do things, and that you do things that other people enjoy. 1.00

01:44:34.000 Correct action is huge. 0.98

01:44:36.000 Whatever it is, whether you're a fucking Dotson repairman, and you're like, oh, Frank, you're the fucking best. 0.97

01:44:41.000 And failure is more important than success to become a better person. 0.99

01:44:45.000 You have to.

01:44:46.000 Look at fighters. 0.98

01:44:47.000 But what I'm saying is like doing something that people enjoy really is like the fucking key to happiness in life. 0.93

01:44:53.000 It's like doing something that makes other people happy in some way. 0.90

01:44:56.000 It really is the key to happiness in life. 0.57

01:44:58.000 It's one that so few people ever figure out and that's one of the reasons why people are so fucked up is because so many people have this selfish, it's all about me attitude and you don't understand that you will never be happy. 0.63

01:45:08.000 Not only that, you won't be prosperous either. 0.96

01:45:11.000 You won't be because you are a part of a gigantic system.

01:45:15.000 And you are in a symbiotic relationship with every human being that you come in contact with. 1.00

01:45:19.000 So when you fuck them over, you fuck up your whole system. 1.00

01:45:23.000 You spread out negative energy, you put out bad ripples, and it comes back. 1.00

01:45:27.000 It's impossible not to.

01:45:28.000 You see it with fighters sometimes.

01:45:29.000 You see fighters start coming with... 0.98

01:45:31.000 Like a lot of guys who are real angry and they come from broken homes and they're just fucking sour... 0.94

01:45:38.000 But they learn. 0.97

01:45:39.000 And they learn.

01:45:39.000 And to get better, they have to confront that anger, and they have to learn to control it.

01:45:43.000 And a lot of times, by the time they're done, they come out of it really well-adjusted, just men in some ways.

01:45:49.000 The best guys, the best of the best, are martial artists.

01:45:53.000 You know, Anderson Silva, he's a martial artist.

01:45:55.000 He is, man.

01:45:56.000 He's a martial artist.

01:45:57.000 Who else would you say is in that?

01:45:58.000 George St. Pierre is a martial artist, no doubt about it.

01:46:00.000 He is a 100% martial artist in the way he behaves around people, the way he conducts himself. 0.99

01:46:05.000 He conducts himself as an exemplary member of society who can fuck you up. 0.99

01:46:10.000 That's what he does. 1.00

01:46:11.000 You never get the feeling hanging out with George that he can kick your ass. 1.00

01:46:14.000 You never get the feeling. 1.00

01:46:15.000 Of course he can.

01:46:15.000 You know he can.

01:46:18.000 Psychologically, realistically, you know he can kick your ass. 1.00

01:46:20.000 But you never feel that around him because he's always so humble and so friendly and so nice. 0.99

01:46:25.000 We were talking about that.

01:46:26.000 Some people have a lot of trouble managing success.

01:46:31.000 It's a character issue. 0.98

01:46:32.000 It's whether or not you accept bullshit, lies, or whether or not you look at yourself realistically. 0.97

01:46:37.000 And to get better and stay on top, you've got to confront that in yourself. 0.98

01:46:40.000 Everything.

01:46:41.000 All day, every day.

01:46:42.000 And you have to have a completely open mind.

01:46:43.000 That's why a lot of fighters choke or they freeze up and stuff, and it's just human.

01:46:47.000 You've got to be able to assess your objective strengths and weaknesses at a moment's notice, and you've got to be able to do it completely accurately.

01:46:55.000 You can't be burdened down by some ego that has you convinced that you're right, and you're doing it together and avoid all the...

01:47:01.000 You also have to be doing it to some extent to...

01:47:07.000 It's a fine line because you don't want to do things for other people.

01:47:10.000 You're doing it to surprise yourself, but your motivation has to be pure because if your motivation is not, you will pay a price for it.

01:47:16.000 Sure, right.

01:47:17.000 You do it for art, man.

01:47:20.000 This is how I approach everything I write. 0.97

01:47:22.000 I say, well, I really got to get together and fucking do some writing today. 1.00

01:47:26.000 Don't be lazy, bitch. 1.00

01:47:27.000 And then I sit down and I start writing. 0.99

01:47:29.000 And I never say, okay, here, I'm going to write things for people.

01:47:32.000 I got to, whatever it is, I got to conjure it up. 0.99

01:47:35.000 I got to let that bitch come out. 1.00

01:47:36.000 I don't even try to be funny. 0.99

01:47:37.000 I just try to write what I think is interesting.

01:47:39.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why I enjoyed writing blogs.

01:47:42.000 Before I started writing my book, I was writing a lot of blogs.

01:47:45.000 And they're still all up at JoeRogan.net somewhere.

01:47:47.000 You can find them. 0.99

01:47:48.000 We need to make that shit easier to find. 0.96

01:47:51.000 Yeah, because the blogs and the videos are all together in the same pile. 0.97

01:47:55.000 I think it's under tags.

01:47:56.000 You have it as a blog or a video.

01:47:59.000 Yeah, but most people don't even know what a tag is, dude.

01:48:01.000 Most people just want something real clean. 1.00

01:48:03.000 Click on, here's the shit you wrote. 1.00

01:48:05.000 Click. 0.99

01:48:06.000 Well, I'll get that done eventually, but my point is that I would never write anything on purpose trying to be funny.

01:48:10.000 I would just sit down and just look, man, the world is funny. 1.00

01:48:13.000 This is just stupid shit that's going on all day, every day. 1.00

01:48:16.000 If you can't see some funny in the world, but it's also that that's some funny, especially when you're writing blogs, It's always balanced out with the shit that's not funny. 1.00

01:48:25.000 That makes the funny stuff even funnier. 0.98

01:48:27.000 It's got to be whatever the fuck is coming out of there, and then I just extract the jokes from that. 0.83

01:48:33.000 The stuff that's actually funny, I extract it from that. 0.98

01:48:36.000 The ironic points.

01:48:37.000 Well, you've always looked at it.

01:48:37.000 Your comedy, to me, has always been...

01:48:39.000 I've always been more absurd, but you look at the truth of situations, and then you just fucking... 0.94

01:48:46.000 You carve it out and shine a light on it. 0.95

01:48:49.000 I try to put a lot of absurd in there as well.

01:48:51.000 I found out along the way that, first of all, not being absurd can be a trap.

01:48:56.000 People take you seriously.

01:48:58.000 I don't want you to take me seriously, man.

01:48:59.000 I don't have time for that, okay?

01:49:02.000 So please don't.

01:49:03.000 But that becomes a trap, and I've seen some comics fall into it, especially when they develop a following.

01:49:08.000 you know they have this group of people that want something to lead the way dude a following is very hard to manage what we're talking about don't fucking listen to your following too much because you start getting you start believing the hype you get older and people like I go on the road yes but appreciate it It's a responsibility.

01:49:23.000 It's a resource.

01:49:25.000 It's a responsibility.

01:49:26.000 They're your friends out there.

01:49:27.000 Of course.

01:49:28.000 You just got to respect it.

01:49:29.000 Just don't let it define you because then you will start trying to be a certain way that I think it's all about when it happens to you that you develop a following anyway.

01:49:37.000 I mean, do you develop a following when you're 17 years old and you're on a Disney sitcom and you don't really understand yourself?

01:49:41.000 Or do you develop yourself when you're 30 and then you become...

01:49:46.000 It goes back to the martial arts example.

01:49:49.000 Back in the day when your teacher taught you martial arts or you had a karate teacher, he was the master.

01:49:54.000 He would never fight.

01:49:55.000 His sparring days were over.

01:49:56.000 He's too deadly to spar with you.

01:49:58.000 The Brazilians are like... 1.00

01:50:00.000 They're your teacher. 1.00

01:50:01.000 They fucking roll with you every fucking day. 1.00

01:50:03.000 That's the difference between real fighters and guys who are... 1.00

01:50:07.000 Well, no.

01:50:08.000 The real issue is striking versus jiu-jitsu because you can't do that every day with striking.

01:50:13.000 It's just too difficult.

01:50:14.000 I mean, if you have a great group of people where you guarantee, like, hey, man, let's just go light, and you really do not try to kill each other, that's awesome.

01:50:23.000 That's hard.

01:50:23.000 But that's not normal.

01:50:25.000 No.

01:50:25.000 Norm was like the gentleman that we were talking about earlier today, the very successful gentleman, and we won't mention his name, who doesn't know how to spar.

01:50:30.000 He just tries to kill guys in the gym, and they tell him, listen, man, you're not going to get any fucking sparring partners. 1.00

01:50:35.000 You're too crazy. 1.00

01:50:37.000 And that's a guy that's missing the whole point. 1.00

01:50:40.000 That's right.

01:50:41.000 That's exactly right.

01:50:41.000 And, you know, you miss the whole camaraderie of being a teammate with someone.

01:50:44.000 Part of it is, you know, you build each other up, you know?

01:50:47.000 You could hit your teammate, but you don't.

01:50:49.000 Your teammate is like an extension of you.

01:50:52.000 Those guys, all those team, they become close.

01:50:56.000 Super close, yeah. 0.99

01:50:57.000 Because they're sweating, bleeding, and fucking dying together. 0.99

01:51:00.000 Exactly. 0.99

01:51:00.000 And they can trust each other when they're sparring. 0.99

01:51:02.000 That's really important, man.

01:51:03.000 Even though you spar hard, it's not...

01:51:05.000 I mean, dudes are getting hit, no doubt about it.

01:51:06.000 Look, you don't get as good at boxing as Nate Diaz does.

01:51:09.000 Unless you've got a guy like Gilbert Melendez in your camp.

01:51:12.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:51:13.000 These guys are going at each other all the time, and they're doing it the right way, and they're both getting good as fuck. 0.98

01:51:18.000 And same thing with Nick. 0.99

01:51:19.000 He's so goddamn good. 0.92

01:51:20.000 And you know what Nick's doing? 0.96

01:51:21.000 He's constantly boxing with Andre Ward.

01:51:23.000 He boxes with Andre Ward, who's an Olympic gold medalist.

01:51:25.000 Andre Ward is a hell of a...

01:51:26.000 He's a hell of a boxer.

01:51:27.000 Brilliant, brilliant boxer.

01:51:28.000 I mean, that guy never gets hurt.

01:51:29.000 So he boxes with Andre Ward?

01:51:31.000 Yes.

01:51:31.000 Look, man, Nick Diaz is professional boxing level.

01:51:35.000 He is, huh?

01:51:35.000 Yes.

01:51:36.000 First of all, he's a super athlete.

01:51:38.000 He can put a pace on those dudes that they can't handle.

01:51:41.000 He's, for me, he's my favorite fighter.

01:51:43.000 He's a super endurance athlete.

01:51:45.000 I mean, you look at him, he's obviously in great shape.

01:51:47.000 I mean, it's not that, but what you don't understand is his cardio is like double what a normal human's is.

01:51:53.000 Like, literally double.

01:51:54.000 That's so weird.

01:51:54.000 Yeah, and because he has that, man, that's a weapon.

01:51:57.000 He can use that weapon because most guys aren't willing to work that hard.

01:52:00.000 He does triathlons all the time, man. 0.97

01:52:02.000 He fucking swam back from Alcatraz. 0.99

01:52:04.000 Twice. 1.00

01:52:05.000 Twice! 0.99

01:52:07.000 Yeah, in the shark-infested water.

01:52:10.000 I mean, the reason why they put Alcatraz there, they go, we'll put a prison here. 0.99

01:52:13.000 Who the fuck's going to swim that? 0.99

01:52:14.000 They thought it couldn't be done. 1.00

01:52:16.000 And this crazy asshole who's a cage fighter has done it twice just for the fuck of it. 1.00

01:52:20.000 And that's not even what he does. 1.00

01:52:22.000 He's not like an ultra-endurance swimmer in the ocean.

01:52:24.000 No, he's a cage fighter.

01:52:25.000 But his mind is so strong because of that. 0.99

01:52:29.000 Because he has so much fucking endurance. 0.99

01:52:32.000 It's so weird. 0.99

01:52:33.000 So does Nate.

01:52:33.000 Let me tell you something.

01:52:35.000 If every round was like a 20-minute round, You could never beat Nick Diaz.

01:52:39.000 You could never beat him.

01:52:40.000 Because after 15 minutes, you'd be huffing and puffing.

01:52:42.000 You'd be waiting for that stool. 1.00

01:52:44.000 And he'd be like, what, bitch? 1.00

01:52:45.000 He'd be still pop, pop, popping you with those 50% punches in the face. 1.00

01:52:48.000 Does he talk to me? 1.00

01:52:48.000 Fuck yeah, he does. 1.00

01:52:49.000 You know why? 1.00

01:52:50.000 Because he's smart.

01:52:51.000 Because that's a psychological war that's going on right there. 0.98

01:52:53.000 And if you can get a guy flustered and call him a bitch and get up in his face and get him thinking about your emotions, that's the intelligent thing to do. 0.96

01:53:00.000 If you were an intelligent fighter, you would add that. 0.99

01:53:03.000 I know it's beautiful to be a George St. Pierre and to bow like you're a martial artist and to never be talking shit in the middle of a fight. 0.97

01:53:10.000 Do it completely respectfully. 0.89

01:53:11.000 And he gets it done masterfully. 0.99

01:53:13.000 But, in my opinion, I like watching a guy like Nick Diaz get in there and go, what, bitch? 1.00

01:53:17.000 What, bitch? 1.00

01:53:18.000 Where you going, bitch? 1.00

01:53:19.000 Where you going, bitch? 1.00

01:53:20.000 He's on all fours moving his head around. 1.00

01:53:21.000 Yeah, moving his head back and forth talking mad shit. 1.00

01:53:24.000 He seems to truly hate the guys he fights. 1.00

01:53:26.000 He does until he fights them and then he's cool with them.

01:53:28.000 You know, after he knocked out Frank Shamrock, he goes, come on, man, get up.

01:53:31.000 You're a legend.

01:53:32.000 And he helped him.

01:53:33.000 Helped him up.

01:53:33.000 Picked him up by his hand.

01:53:34.000 And Nate did the same thing, Nate, his brother Nate, after he beat up Cerrone this weekend.

01:53:38.000 You know, he said, you know, listen, man, it's all good. 0.99

01:53:40.000 You know, it's just hype and bullshit. 0.99

01:53:41.000 And they hugged and it was cool. 0.99

01:53:42.000 Yeah.

01:53:43.000 You know, and Cerrone gave it up to him, period.

01:53:45.000 He was a better fighter, that's it.

01:53:46.000 No excuses. 1.00

01:53:47.000 He kicked my ass. 1.00

01:53:48.000 And they just let it go. 1.00

01:53:49.000 It was beautiful, you know?

01:53:50.000 I like that.

01:53:51.000 I like when dudes can let it go.

01:53:52.000 I do, too.

01:53:52.000 But it's a smart thing to get guys upset at you.

01:53:55.000 It's a smart thing. 0.99

01:53:56.000 Well, I think Nate, it seems Nate and Nick don't give a fuck if you're welcome or not. 1.00

01:53:58.000 Don't give a fuck! 1.00

01:54:00.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:54:01.000 They dare to kick your ass. 1.00

01:54:02.000 It's really simple. 1.00

01:54:03.000 They dare to kick your ass and they don't want to talk to you about a fight. 1.00

01:54:05.000 No, they dare to kick your ass. 1.00

01:54:06.000 But they're punching. 1.00

01:54:07.000 It's brilliant.

01:54:08.000 It's like they're punching.

01:54:09.000 It looks like he's moving in slow motion.

01:54:11.000 I was watching the first time I watched him punch.

01:54:12.000 It doesn't look like he's moving in slow motion.

01:54:14.000 It looks like he's not trying to hurt you.

01:54:15.000 Yeah, he's just like...

01:54:16.000 Well, you know why?

01:54:17.000 Because don't throw your punches at 100%.

01:54:20.000 Throw your punches at 50% and land 82% of them.

01:54:25.000 Dude!

01:54:25.000 And he wasn't even throwing them at 80%.

01:54:27.000 I mean, I would say maybe he threw a lot of punches that were around 50% of his full power. 0.99

01:54:33.000 If he really wanted to haul off and blast you in the face, he could knock people the fuck out. 0.85

01:54:38.000 But him and his brother have figured out this really effective style of volume... 0.99

01:54:43.000 Who taught them that?

01:54:44.000 Is that Andre Ward?

01:54:46.000 That's a real good question.

01:54:47.000 I would be out of school if I said that, but I don't think so.

01:54:51.000 They have a boxing coach.

01:54:52.000 There's a Mexican gentleman that's in the ring with him all the time.

01:54:55.000 I should credit him because I need to find...

01:54:57.000 It makes me want to go become a...

01:55:00.000 It's over for me.

01:55:02.000 You just see those guys.

01:55:03.000 They make it look so easy.

01:55:04.000 They're submission game. 1.00

01:55:06.000 They're fucking punching. 1.00

01:55:07.000 They never throw a kick. 1.00

01:55:08.000 I love those dudes.

01:55:08.000 They're so fun, man.

01:55:10.000 Nick Diaz.

01:55:11.000 I love his non-stop.

01:55:13.000 Sorry, Richard Perez.

01:55:14.000 Richard Perez.

01:55:14.000 I should have known.

01:55:15.000 He's one of those guys that his name was at the tip of my tongue, but they've been with him for a long time.

01:55:19.000 He's had every one of their fights, and he's their boxing coach.

01:55:21.000 They always credit Richard Perez afterwards.

01:55:24.000 You know what?

01:55:25.000 He's got them so slick.

01:55:26.000 Their head movement, their counters, their angles, man.

01:55:29.000 Dude, Nate Diaz in two fights.

01:55:32.000 I wonder how much they practice that.

01:55:32.000 I mean, they practice boxing every day.

01:55:36.000 Oh, yeah, they're boxing a lot.

01:55:37.000 I mean, they're very boxing-centered, and why not be?

01:55:39.000 Because, look, first of all, everyone knows their jiu-jitsu's nasty, so you don't really want to take them down, necessarily, and wind up in their guard.

01:55:45.000 Nate Diaz fucks guys up from his guard.

01:55:47.000 Yeah, he does. 0.98

01:55:47.000 And so does Nick. 0.98

01:55:48.000 They both catch guys.

01:55:49.000 So what are you going to do?

01:55:50.000 You have to stand up with them. 0.98

01:55:51.000 If you want to stand up with them, they're both long, and they both throw all these volume punches, and they're so fucking accurate, man.

01:56:00.000 He broke the CompuStrike record, Nate Diaz did in the Cerrone fight.

01:56:03.000 I think it was 82%, I believe it was.

01:56:06.000 That's nuts, man!

01:56:08.000 That's nuts!

01:56:09.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:56:09.000 I've never seen anything like that.

01:56:11.000 I've never seen anything like it.

01:56:13.000 Dude, he boxed him up, man.

01:56:14.000 His boxing was brilliant.

01:56:16.000 And in the last two fights, in the Takanori Gomi fight and in this fight, he just turned this crazy corner.

01:56:21.000 And I think it came out of the loss to Rory McDonald. 0.99

01:56:24.000 That Rory McDonald kid is a fucking beast. 1.00

01:56:26.000 You know, that young man from Canada. 1.00

01:56:29.000 Do you know who he is?

01:56:30.000 Rory McDonald.

01:56:31.000 He's only had a few UFC fights.

01:56:33.000 He had a real close fight with Carlos Condit and he got stopped in the third round.

01:56:37.000 But he was winning the first two rounds.

01:56:39.000 And really, a quick demolition of Mike Pyle.

01:56:42.000 I was really blown away by that.

01:56:44.000 I expected Mike Pyle was going to be very difficult for him.

01:56:46.000 I mean, he caught him early, and you know, you catch anybody early.

01:56:48.000 Is this Rory guy a boxer?

01:56:50.000 No, he's a full-on MMA fighter, but he's a young kid.

01:56:53.000 He's been trained in MMA only for his whole life, from the beginning to end.

01:56:56.000 Well, Nate had a fight with him, and Nate lost the decision.

01:56:59.000 He didn't get hurt.

01:57:00.000 He never got beat up.

01:57:00.000 He got thrown around a little bit.

01:57:02.000 The guy took him down a few times, like suplexed him and stuff.

01:57:04.000 But, you know, one of the things about the Diaz brothers is they're an amazing defense.

01:57:09.000 You know, they're so used to fighting against brutal guys in training that they're really good at surviving, you know.

01:57:15.000 And so he realized that he probably should be at 155 pounds.

01:57:18.000 It was like a better weight class run.

01:57:19.000 Oh, I was fighting 170. He was fighting 170, and he didn't build up to get there.

01:57:23.000 He didn't go up to like 185, 190, and then cut his weight down.

01:57:26.000 He was, you know, he was essentially, you know, weighing in like much closer to the 55-pound limit.

01:57:31.000 But the last two fights, he had it lightweight.

01:57:33.000 It was Takenori Gomi and this last one against Cerrone, and both of them.

01:57:36.000 It was just insane.

01:57:37.000 And Cerrone is no joke, man. 0.99

01:57:38.000 No, he's a beast. 0.82

01:57:39.000 You know, I think what happened was, I think, you know, Nate got pissed off on himself after that fight with Rory McDonald, and he said, you know what, fuck it, I'm kicking it up a notch, and decided, you know, 155 is where I was supposed to be, and, you know, just really get to it. 0.97

01:57:50.000 Were you surprised when he gave him the finger like that? 0.90

01:57:52.000 No, it was beautiful.

01:57:53.000 It's beautiful, man.

01:57:54.000 This is war, man.

01:57:55.000 It's psychological war.

01:57:57.000 Larry Bird used to show up at every three-point contest and go, who's coming in second?

01:58:01.000 That's it. 0.99

01:58:02.000 You've got to think about Larry Bird when you're fucking shooting that shot now. 0.99

01:58:05.000 Because you can't be in the zone because no one's fucked with you and you can have your own positive thoughts. 0.99

01:58:10.000 No, you've got Larry Bird's freckly little white-ass cracker face going, who's coming in second? 0.99

01:58:14.000 Well, you know what it said to me? 0.60

01:58:15.000 When I saw him getting the finger, I went, that guy's not tired.

01:58:17.000 He's not tired.

01:58:18.000 No, he doesn't get tired.

01:58:19.000 He's just like his brother. 0.99

01:58:20.000 They do some fucking extreme endurance work, man. 0.99

01:58:24.000 And they keep their conditioning at a really high level. 1.00

01:58:27.000 And if you do that, you can put a pace on a dude they can't fuck with. 0.77

01:58:30.000 And then on top of that, if you have really good striking, then it's like, man... 0.94

01:58:34.000 Getting striking like that is so difficult.

01:58:36.000 That takes years, man.

01:58:37.000 Of course it is. 0.99

01:58:37.000 And balls. 0.99

01:58:38.000 You have to have balls. 1.00

01:58:39.000 You have to go in there with guys who can take your fucking face. 1.00

01:58:42.000 Yeah, and you get hit and hurt a lot. 1.00

01:58:44.000 You've got to learn defense.

01:58:45.000 You've got to learn how to roll with punches.

01:58:47.000 You've got to learn who not to spar with.

01:58:49.000 There's some dudes that it's not worth it.

01:58:50.000 Some dudes, you could spar them every now and then, especially if you're feeling fresh or something like that.

01:58:54.000 Yeah, but if you box with just strict boxers like Andre Ward, you start to try to fight him just as a boxer.

01:59:01.000 MMA guys are a lot of different though.

01:59:02.000 A lot of guys, especially in the early days of MMA, I've had long conversations with dudes about this who started out in the early 90s.

01:59:10.000 They didn't know any better and they would just go full blast in the gym all the time.

01:59:13.000 Somewhere along the line, people started telling them, hey man, you shouldn't do this.

01:59:17.000 You guys should be sparring with technique and this is how you do that and this is how you save yourself for the fights.

01:59:22.000 Yeah, because nobody was ever using a jab back then or anything like that.

01:59:24.000 Exactly.

01:59:25.000 Everybody was like Haymaker Central.

01:59:27.000 And then you get in there, that's one of the reasons why a guy like Anderson shines.

01:59:30.000 You get in there with a guy like Anderson, like Chris Lieben, just charged at him, just went to try to maul him.

01:59:34.000 Which was, you know, if you're going to give him a good strategy, what's a good strategy? 0.99

01:59:38.000 Stay on the outside and let him pick you apart or chase that motherfucker down. 1.00

01:59:41.000 I would have told Chris to do the same thing. 0.99

01:59:42.000 He just wasn't ready for that level yet, in that technical level that Anderson's achieved.

01:59:48.000 He has all the techniques.

01:59:50.000 He doesn't have just haymakers.

01:59:51.000 He came from a technical Muay Thai background.

01:59:54.000 So his technique is beautiful.

01:59:57.000 I was watching Tiago Alva's mom down on American Top Team.

02:00:00.000 You trained with him, right?

02:00:01.000 Yeah, trained with Anderson Silva's best friend, I guess, and coach, Muay Thai coach, who's a stud himself.

02:00:07.000 Just like this real good-looking dude who's like...

02:00:09.000 And it was so exciting because Tiago is a big Death Valley fan.

02:00:15.000 So he came up to me and was like...

02:00:16.000 Which is a show that you're on for a little bit.

02:00:18.000 He's like, dude, I'm a huge fan.

02:00:20.000 You crack me up.

02:00:21.000 It's so funny.

02:00:21.000 That's a terrible accent.

02:00:22.000 It doesn't sound anything like him.

02:00:23.000 Not at all, but he's so funny.

02:00:25.000 We had such a laugh.

02:00:25.000 He took me around, and we had a blast.

02:00:27.000 But he gave me a private Muay Thai class, and then he rolled with me in jiu-jitsu. 0.97

02:00:31.000 And if you ever want to feel like a hen with a wolf, it was ridiculous. 0.91

02:00:36.000 He's so strong. 0.97

02:00:38.000 He kicked the bag at one point just lightly.

02:00:39.000 I was holding it.

02:00:40.000 He was showing me a roundhouse, like a low kick. 0.99

02:00:43.000 The power is retarded with that guy. 1.00

02:00:46.000 You know what the beautiful thing about him is? 0.86

02:00:47.000 When he throws things, everything is tight and tucked.

02:00:51.000 He's got some of the best defense as far as MMA strikers.

02:00:55.000 He's got some of the best defense.

02:00:55.000 You know what it is, man?

02:00:56.000 I can tell, and I spend enough time on him, he's fucking smart. 0.99

02:01:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:01:00.000 That guy's really smart. 0.99

02:01:01.000 Yeah, he's doing everything very technically.

02:01:03.000 He's very smart.

02:01:04.000 He's matured a lot.

02:01:05.000 He's 28 now. 0.99

02:01:06.000 And he was just very open about what a crazy fucker he was when he was younger, spending money going crazy. 0.99

02:01:12.000 Did you see his last fight against Papi Abedi? 0.99

02:01:14.000 No, I... It was beautiful.

02:01:16.000 It was beautiful because this guy's a monster, man.

02:01:18.000 This Papi Abetti looks like the last guy you'd ever want to fight. 0.59

02:01:21.000 You look at him, he's just ridiculously shredded.

02:01:24.000 He's a judo black belt. 0.82

02:01:26.000 He can strike.

02:01:27.000 He's very similar to...

02:01:30.000 Shark Shirk? 0.51

02:01:31.000 No, no, no.

02:01:32.000 The Bellator, Hector Lombard.

02:01:34.000 Very similar to that Bellator champion, Hector Lombard.

02:01:37.000 Really similar. 0.50

02:01:38.000 Just built and ridiculous power punches. 0.95

02:01:40.000 Really fast. 0.94

02:01:42.000 And Tiago just stayed in the pocket, man.

02:01:44.000 Just caught him with a little shot after a little shot.

02:01:46.000 Leg kicks.

02:01:47.000 And the dude was swinging at Tiago, man.

02:01:49.000 The dude was a scary guy.

02:01:50.000 But it was a beautiful display of technique and patience and being a veteran and overcoming a guy who can beat anybody.

02:01:57.000 He's had 16 fights in the UFC, man.

02:01:58.000 That's a lot of fights.

02:01:59.000 And that Pappy Abetti guy, I feel like he could beat anybody. 0.99

02:02:01.000 I feel like if you fuck up and let that guy punch you in the face, if somehow or another you zig when you shoot a zag, you get caught, which happens to guys. 1.00

02:02:09.000 You saw the John Fitch fight this weekend? 1.00

02:02:11.000 Yeah, he got knocked out.

02:02:11.000 He got caught and knocked out with one punch?

02:02:13.000 Well, there's a follow-up punch, but essentially the one punch was the one that really did it.

02:02:19.000 Well, with those little gloves, your margin for error really slims down.

02:02:24.000 And that's where learning technique, and if you look at boxers, when they teach, you're spending more time avoiding than throwing punches.

02:02:32.000 Anybody can throw hands, but moving out of the way and then hitting, or just being able to slip punches.

02:02:38.000 Well, there's a lack of, like, real high-level technical boxing in a lot of areas of MMA. Because it takes forever.

02:02:46.000 It takes forever, and it's really hard to learn everything.

02:02:49.000 Yeah.

02:02:49.000 You know, it's one of the reasons why a lot of people think you should be awesome at one thing before you ever get into MMA. Yeah.

02:02:54.000 Because, you know, it's like the Rory McDonalds of the world are very rare, and this is this young kid who's starting out.

02:02:59.000 He's got great wrestling.

02:03:00.000 His wrestling is outstanding.

02:03:01.000 His kickboxing is nasty. 0.99

02:03:02.000 His jiu-jitsu is solid as fuck. 0.99

02:03:04.000 He's really got no weaknesses. 0.99

02:03:05.000 Phew.

02:03:05.000 But, you know, he's one of those 22-year-old kids that can actually do that.

02:03:09.000 Oh, God, who came up with this stuff.

02:03:10.000 Yeah, came up with it from the get-go.

02:03:12.000 You know, for the most part, most guys, they came up with one discipline or another, and the best thing they could hope for was to be really good at something.

02:03:19.000 Whether they're really good at wrestling, so they take a guy down, or really good at striking, they just learn how to sprawl like Mirko Krokop.

02:03:25.000 You know, he never really became anything other than a striker. 0.55

02:03:27.000 He has a couple submission victories, but they're mostly after he, except the Randallman fight, mostly after he was fucking a guy up.

02:03:33.000 The question is, can anybody beat Jon Bones Jones and does he go to heavyweight?

02:03:38.000 Sure.

02:03:39.000 Nobody ever expected that Jon Bones Jones was ever going to exist. 0.91

02:03:42.000 you know before he existed nobody would have suspected that some brilliant young kid could come in here who was a a an excellent amateur wrestler with you know a few years of karate and taekwondo or something under his belt maybe not even a few years i should say like you know months of it but just you know practice some kicks and knew how to do them and then you get him with some ace trainers like mike winklejohn and greg jackson and they mold this kid into some fucking prodigy i

02:04:08.000 I would have never said that could have happened before, that some kid could have been in the game only like three years and just dominate guys like Shogun, dominate guys like Machida.

02:04:15.000 You know, he put Machida to sleep with a standing guillotine.

02:04:18.000 When's the last time anybody put a high-level champion to sleep with a standing guillotine and then dropped him like it was Mortal Kombat? 0.99

02:04:26.000 Like he just beheaded him and shit. 0.99

02:04:28.000 It was like, VATALITY! It's ridiculous. 1.00

02:04:31.000 You know what he is, man? 0.99

02:04:32.000 He is the king of the new school.

02:04:35.000 That's what he is.

02:04:36.000 Jon Jones is the king of the new school. 1.00

02:04:37.000 There's no one who can fuck with him. 0.99

02:04:39.000 These new guys, there's a level. 1.00

02:04:41.000 There's a high level.

02:04:42.000 There's a higher level than has ever existed before.

02:04:44.000 And Jon Jones is at the peak of that wave.

02:04:45.000 I guess it's Junior Dos Santos.

02:04:48.000 But there's another wave coming.

02:04:50.000 And another wave coming is those Rory McDonald dudes.

02:04:53.000 Jon Jones started out as a wrestler and learned all that striking and slowly become better at striking.

02:04:58.000 Rory McDonald is great at everything.

02:05:00.000 He's great at everything. 1.00

02:05:01.000 His fucking head movement is nasty. 1.00

02:05:03.000 His striking is clean. 1.00

02:05:04.000 His technique is perfect.

02:05:06.000 He's got knockout power. 1.00

02:05:07.000 He's fucking 22 years old. 1.00

02:05:08.000 And he's smart. 1.00

02:05:09.000 He's a little savage.

02:05:10.000 Those guys are coming up. 0.99

02:05:11.000 And there's a 14-year-old right now that'll probably fuck him up. 0.97

02:05:14.000 And the guy that is hitting pads in Vegas right now. 0.98

02:05:17.000 You ever see those two little kids?

02:05:18.000 Yeah.

02:05:18.000 The little Mohawk kids?

02:05:19.000 Dude, those little kids can do everything. 0.98

02:05:21.000 And they're like little kids.

02:05:23.000 I don't know how they all are now.

02:05:24.000 But they're super dedicated and they love the sport.

02:05:27.000 you know, and they get a lot of attention, so they do it a lot, and their parents love it, and Come on, man.

02:05:31.000 Those kind of guys, that's the next wave.

02:05:34.000 So as crazy as Hoist Gracie was in 1993, Jon Jones is in 2012, and as crazy as Alistair Overeem is in 2012, you're going to have some new dude that's going to be 10 years from now or whatever, and he's going to have some mad distance between them.

02:05:50.000 Because it'll be a sport as itself.

02:05:54.000 Because right now it's a sport that's piecemealed from a bunch of other different sports with no clear formula.

02:06:00.000 Eventually they're going to get a pretty clear formula.

02:06:02.000 Eventually there's going to be, it seems, MMA as its own fighting system is going to solidify.

02:06:08.000 Most likely.

02:06:11.000 Like, yeah.

02:06:12.000 But part of the fun is the ebb and flow and the battle while it's happening.

02:06:14.000 All of a sudden, karate is what everybody needs to know.

02:06:16.000 Nobody can touch Machida. 1.00

02:06:18.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:06:18.000 Who would have ever thought it was karate after all these years? 1.00

02:06:20.000 If you just have the sprawling, then it's karate.

02:06:23.000 And then, you know, a guy like John Jones comes around and it's like, oh, no, no, no.

02:06:27.000 It's length.

02:06:27.000 It's distance and intelligence and a wrestling background.

02:06:30.000 That's what's important. 0.99

02:06:31.000 And the willingness to believe in yourself and just throw wild shit. 0.98

02:06:34.000 And the fact that nobody can hit you because you're a mile away from them all the time you connect on them. 0.82

02:06:37.000 What about him and Junior DeSantis?

02:06:39.000 Would they fight?

02:06:40.000 Maybe eventually.

02:06:41.000 I think John Jones will someday be a heavyweight because he's so young.

02:06:44.000 I think he's only 24 now.

02:06:46.000 What weight does he walk around at?

02:06:47.000 That's a good question.

02:06:48.000 I should ask him.

02:06:50.000 I think he's above 215, 220. I think he gets pretty heavy.

02:06:53.000 Then he drops the weight and eats healthy.

02:06:56.000 I think he's got a big family.

02:06:59.000 He's a young kid.

02:07:00.000 He's going to fill out.

02:07:01.000 His brothers play football and won professionally.

02:07:03.000 I think he'd be amazing as a heavyweight too.

02:07:05.000 He's big enough.

02:07:06.000 He's got skinny legs.

02:07:07.000 Yeah, and those could get bigger. 0.99

02:07:08.000 And by the way, he would be even more ridiculous then. 0.93

02:07:10.000 Could you imagine if all of a sudden he had super legs underneath him? 1.00

02:07:12.000 He did all those fucking squats and deadlifts and just triangle the fuck out of everyone. 0.98

02:07:17.000 A lot of his strength is his speed. 0.99

02:07:17.000 Yeah, but could you imagine that? 0.99

02:07:18.000 If all of a sudden he's triangling people.

02:07:19.000 I mean, he can do anything.

02:07:21.000 How tall is he?

02:07:24.000 I believe he's 6'4".

02:07:25.000 I believe he's 6'4".

02:07:26.000 That's really tall. 0.98

02:07:27.000 He's really tall, but his reach is what's ridiculous. 0.95

02:07:29.000 84 inches. 0.84

02:07:30.000 Yeah, pull that up, Brian.

02:07:31.000 Find out how tall John Jones is.

02:07:32.000 And by the way, what is Anderson Silva?

02:07:35.000 How tall is he?

02:07:36.000 I think he's 6'2".

02:07:37.000 That'd be great.

02:07:37.000 Maybe 6'3".

02:07:38.000 I'd love to see that fight.

02:07:39.000 Yeah, but you know, the issue is a wrestling issue.

02:07:43.000 I mean, he's...

02:07:44.000 Anderson?

02:07:45.000 Yeah, Anderson is like...

02:07:46.000 He's an amazing, amazing fighter.

02:07:49.000 But when you're taking on a guy who's physically much bigger than you, right?

02:07:54.000 Anderson is...

02:07:55.000 Were we asking how tall he is?

02:07:58.000 6'4", yeah.

02:07:59.000 He's got 6'4", but he has a reach that's bigger than some 7' tall people.

02:08:05.000 He's got a crazy reach.

02:08:06.000 Yeah, I mean, I just said that, and that's real.

02:08:08.000 His reach is the longest of anyone in the UFC, including Semmy Schilt, who used to fight for the UFC. So his ability to touch you with his hands is like right up there with Stefan Struve.

02:08:18.000 Stefan Skyscraper Struve has a...

02:08:22.000 Than Jon Jones does.

02:08:24.000 So he's just got...

02:08:25.000 He's got everything going for him.

02:08:26.000 He's got intelligence.

02:08:27.000 He's got confidence. 0.94

02:08:29.000 He's got the courage to get in there and fucking throw down against the best fighters in the world even though he's only been doing it for three years. 0.97

02:08:36.000 And he's got the athleticism to pull it off. 0.98

02:08:38.000 And he listens to everything.

02:08:39.000 And you listen to interviews with him.

02:08:41.000 The dude is on YouTube all the time watching wrestling matches and learning moves and putting them in his head. 1.00

02:08:46.000 He's a fucking... 1.00

02:08:47.000 He's loving that he's the baddest motherfucker in the world. 1.00

02:08:49.000 Tiago told me that Anderson's... 0.99

02:08:51.000 I said, what's Anderson like?

02:08:52.000 And he said, He's a martial arts nerd.

02:08:54.000 He loves martial arts.

02:08:55.000 He watches stuff.

02:08:56.000 Both guys.

02:08:57.000 You don't get as good as Anderson unless you're completely obsessed with it.

02:09:00.000 There's the story of Anderson's fight with Tony Frickland.

02:09:02.000 You know that story?

02:09:03.000 Anderson fought Tony Frickland and he had this crazy upward elbow that he wanted to try. 0.99

02:09:07.000 Like some shit he saw in an Ong Bak movie. 0.99

02:09:10.000 And his coaches were like, will you get the fuck out of here with this elbow? 1.00

02:09:13.000 Like he kept practicing this really nutty elbow that like would never come up. 0.97

02:09:17.000 It was like a kung fu move, you know? 0.99

02:09:19.000 It was like whoosh!

02:09:19.000 It was like some stuff that you saw in a movie that you would never see in an MMA fight where, you know, it's much more dangerous.

02:09:25.000 But he made his wife hold the pillow for him, and he would practice this upward elbow. 0.99

02:09:32.000 He made his wife hold pads, and he would practice this shit over and over again. 1.00

02:09:35.000 He had to do it away from his coaches. 1.00

02:09:37.000 And so then, he was in the actual cage, and he told his fucking coach, I'm going to do that upward elbow. 1.00

02:09:43.000 Can you shut the fuck up and get out of here with this crazy upward elbow? 1.00

02:09:46.000 And ba-blam! 1.00

02:09:47.000 He catches frickin' with his upward elbow and puts him to sleep.

02:09:50.000 Not just put him to sleep, but stiff-armed him.

02:09:52.000 He went down like stiff legs, stiff arm, nothing was working.

02:09:56.000 And he blasts him with an elbow and then Anderson just walks away like he's a ninja.

02:09:59.000 Ha ha ha! 1.00

02:10:00.000 It's the most ridiculous shit ever. 1.00

02:10:02.000 But that's what it is. 1.00

02:10:03.000 He learned a technique that was outside of his discipline. 1.00

02:10:07.000 He's just such a bad motherfucker. 0.99

02:10:09.000 What he's got is, just like Jon Jones, he's very intelligent and his timing is amazing. 1.00

02:10:15.000 And his confidence.

02:10:16.000 Intelligence, timing, confidence, and character.

02:10:19.000 And with Anderson, too.

02:10:20.000 Anderson is a guy who's been proven.

02:10:23.000 I mean, Jon Jones has never been in a fight where he got dominated for four rounds and then pulled it off in the fifth.

02:10:29.000 There's something invaluable about what Anderson has accomplished.

02:10:33.000 And what Anderson showed in that Shel Sonnen fight was that he's not just the hammer.

02:10:37.000 He can take it, dude.

02:10:39.000 You can't break him.

02:10:39.000 And if you slip...

02:10:40.000 His face was clean after the fight.

02:10:42.000 He's looking for a way to win, man.

02:10:45.000 And if you slip, he's going to find it.

02:10:46.000 And guess what?

02:10:47.000 Yeah, it's only a minute to go.

02:10:49.000 But look at this shot!

02:10:49.000 Oh!

02:10:50.000 What's this?

02:10:51.000 I could not believe that. 1.00

02:10:52.000 Gotcha, bitch! 1.00

02:10:53.000 I could not believe that. 1.00

02:10:53.000 Yeah, I mean, he just did what he had to do, and he came in there injured, you know? 1.00

02:10:58.000 Oh, was that what it was?

02:10:58.000 Oh, yeah, he had a rib issue.

02:11:00.000 He looked like he was just out of it.

02:11:02.000 Well, that's why he let him take him down.

02:11:03.000 You know, he's like, you know, I could stand up with this guy, or I could just fucking barely fight off the takedowns.

02:11:09.000 It's going to be interesting.

02:11:11.000 Yeah, if you can't take him down, but Chael Sonnen has the best double in this sport.

02:11:14.000 His running, charging double, dude. 0.99

02:11:17.000 He just takes motherfuckers down. 0.99

02:11:19.000 Even if Anderson was fully healthy, I don't know if he could stop that guy from taking him down. 0.99

02:11:23.000 A lot of people don't know.

02:11:24.000 See, the thing about Chael Sonnen, dude, is Chael Sonnen, when he's right, and right now he's right.

02:11:28.000 He's one of the best on the planet, dude.

02:11:31.000 That wrestling is insane. 0.98

02:11:32.000 His top position, his boxing is fucking good. 0.99

02:11:36.000 When he caught Anderson with that straight left and wobbled him, look, I don't give a fuck what you say. 0.99

02:11:40.000 That's got to put some thoughts into a guy's head. 0.99

02:11:42.000 You got to go, charges at you, throws fucking clean, crisp punches, can take a shot, and his wrestling's ridiculous. 0.99

02:11:50.000 And now, after the Bryan Stan fight, oh, he's strangling people, too. 0.99

02:11:54.000 Now he started submitting people.

02:11:55.000 It's crazy. 0.99

02:11:55.000 He's crazy. 0.99

02:11:56.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:11:57.000 And you want to talk about a guy talking shit and fucking with your head. 1.00

02:12:00.000 The greatest. 1.00

02:12:01.000 He's the best ever.

02:12:02.000 The greatest.

02:12:02.000 Dana White said he's the best since Muhammad Ali.

02:12:05.000 He's the best.

02:12:06.000 You know, Muhammad Ali was in a different world because he had a different flavor to him. 0.73

02:12:10.000 It was like a ridiculousness to him. 0.98

02:12:12.000 Which Chael sort of has a little bit of a ridiculous to him, but god damn, that dude's funny. 0.98

02:12:16.000 He's hilarious. 0.96

02:12:17.000 And he's so prolific.

02:12:18.000 He's amazing. 1.00

02:12:19.000 He's always coming up with new ridiculous shit to say. 1.00

02:12:20.000 He's a stand-up comic. 1.00

02:12:21.000 He's unbelievable. 1.00

02:12:22.000 I wish they didn't hate him so much in Brazil, because he said a lot of crazy shit about Brazilians. 1.00

02:12:26.000 Well, he makes fun of Brazil. 1.00

02:12:27.000 I know, I know, I know, I know.

02:12:28.000 And you know what?

02:12:29.000 I mean, whatever.

02:12:29.000 I shouldn't say he probably shouldn't have done that, but now he can, you know, if he went there, I mean, it would probably suck for him.

02:12:35.000 Everywhere he goes, people would be screaming and yelling at him.

02:12:37.000 If he was ballsy enough to actually go there and fight him.

02:12:41.000 Well, is he going to fight Anderson Silva?

02:12:42.000 Is that going to be on the boat?

02:12:43.000 Who knows?

02:12:43.000 He says no.

02:12:44.000 He said that he's got an announcement, and he said, my next move after Mark Munoz, what he said was, I don't know, but if I was George St. Pierre or John Jones, I'd take a real deep gulp right about now.

02:12:57.000 Who said that?

02:12:57.000 Chael Sonnen said that.

02:12:59.000 So he's insinuating that he will want to fight John Jones or George St. Pierre.

02:13:04.000 I take a real deep gulp right now.

02:13:07.000 He wants it!

02:13:09.000 He's a hilarious showman.

02:13:10.000 And since George just had knee surgery, and he had patella tendon graft knee surgery, which is particularly difficult to come back from.

02:13:18.000 Not difficult, but time-consuming, because you have...

02:13:20.000 It's like a year, right?

02:13:21.000 Well, you have, yeah.

02:13:22.000 It's a little more, I mean, every doctor has their own philosophy and doctors have their own specialty, but some doctors don't like to do it that way because they believe that it compromises the strength of the patella tendon and it makes the knee a little bit wigglier.

02:13:35.000 I have both.

02:13:37.000 I had this one done.

02:13:38.000 My left knee was done.

02:13:39.000 Patella tendon graft.

02:13:40.000 My right knee was done with a cadaver.

02:13:42.000 And the right knee came out way better.

02:13:43.000 Maybe it was a better doctor.

02:13:45.000 That's very possible. 0.99

02:13:45.000 But the guy that I did in New York was a top-notch guy that did New York Knicks and did basketball teams and shit. 0.99

02:13:51.000 He was supposed to be really good. 0.75

02:13:52.000 But it took a long time before that knee felt right again.

02:13:56.000 My right knee felt great in a few months.

02:13:59.000 Like four or five months, my right knee was fine.

02:14:01.000 It all depends.

02:14:01.000 The surgery is very different.

02:14:04.000 They take a chunk out of your bone and they slice your tendon.

02:14:07.000 They take a strip of that tendon and a chunk out of your shin bone so they pull it off intact in one thing and then they open you up and screw that in place and that becomes your new ACL. Yeah.

02:14:19.000 So he tore his ACL. Yeah.

02:14:20.000 Yeah.

02:14:21.000 He tore it.

02:14:22.000 He tore it training.

02:14:23.000 He heard it, and then he had to pull out of the Nick Diaz fight, or the Carlos Condit fight, whichever fight it was at that point in time.

02:14:28.000 I believe it was Carlos Condit.

02:14:29.000 Yeah, it was.

02:14:30.000 It was Carlos Condit.

02:14:30.000 He pulled out of that fight, and then...

02:14:32.000 I really would have loved to have seen that Nick Diaz.

02:14:35.000 Yeah.

02:14:36.000 Well, he kept trying to train, I guess. 0.98

02:14:37.000 And that's really what fucks you up.

02:14:39.000 You know, I have a little back injury, this little muscle pull. 0.83

02:14:43.000 It's where my floating rib head is.

02:14:45.000 It's like where it connects to where your scapula is.

02:14:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:48.000 It's been a fucking pain in my ass for like a couple of months. 1.00

02:14:50.000 And the reason being, because it was hurting me, and I said, I'll just go and roll light. 0.99

02:14:55.000 And that's what you do.

02:14:56.000 Like when you have an injury, you have to, it's like driving your car with a flat tire.

02:15:00.000 Like, eh, just go slow.

02:15:01.000 Like you gotta be super smart in combat sports when you have an injury.

02:15:05.000 And George hurt his knee, he had to pull out of the fight, and then he tried training again too soon, and then he blew it.

02:15:10.000 And then it exploded on him.

02:15:11.000 You know, it just lost the ACL. Yeah.

02:15:14.000 That's what happens a lot of times.

02:15:16.000 You do damage to the knee, the knee will be compromised and weak, and then you hurt it again.

02:15:21.000 That's exactly what happened to me, in fact, on my first knee surgery.

02:15:24.000 In a four-hour body, that's why it says those Soviet coaches and some of those guys, the way they get you conditioned in Olympic condition, they make you walk really fast for 15 minutes.

02:15:34.000 And every day you have to cover more ground.

02:15:35.000 So walking is your aerobic exercise.

02:15:38.000 And if you walk speedwalk for 15 minutes as fast as you can, you'll get in the best shape of your life, especially if you do it uphill.

02:15:45.000 That's hilarious.

02:15:46.000 That's a great idea. 1.00

02:15:46.000 If you get on a treadmill and put it at 4 miles an hour at 15 degrees incline, the highest incline, just try that shit sometime. 1.00

02:15:56.000 Try walking for 4 miles an hour for 15 minutes. 0.99

02:15:59.000 Tim Ferriss had a great article on his website about intelligence and efficiency over-training.

02:16:06.000 That's right.

02:16:06.000 And how important it is to build up real endurance.

02:16:08.000 It's the whole deal.

02:16:09.000 All athletes now, they under-train.

02:16:10.000 What they found is that Dan Gable and those American wrestlers over-train.

02:16:14.000 What happens is you get injuries later on.

02:16:16.000 Even that stuff.

02:16:17.000 They have unstoppable mental strength because of it.

02:16:21.000 Of course.

02:16:21.000 Their ability to dominate competition.

02:16:24.000 No one has more mental strength in combat than wrestlers.

02:16:29.000 They're on another level, man.

02:16:30.000 The grittiness. 0.98

02:16:31.000 I went to Dan Gable's camp for two weeks, I remember, and I'm realizing, if this is what it takes to train in college, I don't want to fucking be a college wrestler. 0.96

02:16:38.000 I don't want to get up and sprint. 0.96

02:16:40.000 For an hour in the morning.

02:16:41.000 I was 17. I was like, fuck this. 1.00

02:16:44.000 I did it. 0.99

02:16:45.000 Then I came back my senior year and did pretty fucking well just because I'd been in Iowa.

02:16:49.000 Yeah, it was one of the reasons why I quit wrestling over Taekwondo. 0.96

02:16:54.000 When I was in high school, I was doing wrestling and Taekwondo, and wrestling made me so fucking tired.

02:16:59.000 I remember the first day after practice, we ran stadium stairs or something like that. 0.56

02:17:03.000 The first day after practice, I couldn't walk.

02:17:05.000 I was, like, walking in the hallways.

02:17:06.000 I would have to, like, stop for a second and, like, massage my upper thighs and then walk again.

02:17:11.000 Matches, matches.

02:17:12.000 Sometimes matches would go over time in an extra three minutes. 1.00

02:17:15.000 You thought you were going to fucking die. 0.99

02:17:17.000 I'll never forget that. 1.00

02:17:18.000 That is a young man when you wrestle.

02:17:20.000 Like, you know, I wrestled pretty, you know, it was my sport.

02:17:26.000 That fear of walking on that mat against somebody you don't know when you're 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, it does change you.

02:17:34.000 It really does force you.

02:17:36.000 I think even any sport, just playing basketball, anything, you have to step up.

02:17:40.000 In wrestling, you're alone.

02:17:41.000 Combat sports, when you're alone, it's a lonely place on that mat.

02:17:44.000 It is definitely, I think, more troubling or more taxing and more testing of your character. 0.99

02:17:50.000 Yeah, and then to go to Iowa to this intensive wrestling camp and you're around all these Midwestern animals and you're like, holy fuck. 1.00

02:17:57.000 You're ready to dedicate every moment of your life to wrestling. 1.00

02:17:59.000 Why does that 17-year-old have a fucking mustache? 0.99

02:18:01.000 Yeah, it's like, you know, one of the first times I ever saw a Matt Hughes fight. 0.99

02:18:05.000 I remember thinking, like, you know, and this is back when they used to let him wear wrestling shoes, okay?

02:18:09.000 Good luck.

02:18:10.000 Good luck stopping that shot when he was wearing wrestling shoes. 0.99

02:18:13.000 And he was so fucking strong. 0.97

02:18:16.000 You know, Tiago told me he was the strongest guy he'd ever wrestled. 0.97

02:18:18.000 He said, Matt Hughes was the strongest person I'd ever...

02:18:21.000 Oh, I believe it. 0.94

02:18:22.000 You know, Matt Hughes tapped out fucking Brock Lesnar when they were training together? 0.99

02:18:25.000 No! 0.99

02:18:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:18:26.000 Dude, he's a black belt level Brazilian jiu-jitsu artist.

02:18:29.000 You know what I mean?

02:18:30.000 He learned everything from Jeremy Horn and from MMA classes and catch wrestling.

02:18:34.000 He knows a lot of wrestling submissions, too.

02:18:36.000 The one he put Ricardo Almeida with, he put him out.

02:18:39.000 Remember that?

02:18:39.000 Ricardo, he got him in that...

02:18:42.000 It was the Schultz headlock. 0.98

02:18:45.000 And he just fucking cranked it down, did it beautiful, and put him out. 0.99

02:18:49.000 And Al May didn't even know. 0.99

02:18:50.000 He didn't even know he was in danger.

02:18:52.000 He didn't even freak out.

02:18:52.000 So strong.

02:18:53.000 Yeah, he's ridiculous. 0.96

02:18:54.000 So I remember watching when he first started fighting in the UFC. I'm just like, man, these guys are coming, man. 0.94

02:19:00.000 I always knew they were around.

02:19:02.000 I always knew from my time in wrestling, there was always guys that would go to the States and watch the best guys in the States go out to the division champions.

02:19:09.000 So fast and just so flexible.

02:19:12.000 We had a kid in our, when I was a sophomore, when I was a sophomore in high school, we had one kid that was in like national level, who smoked cigarettes too, by the way.

02:19:23.000 Yeah, Mark Collin. 0.95

02:19:24.000 And he was a great fucking guy, like a really intense, passionate dude. 0.99

02:19:28.000 And I remember one time, I believe the coach's name was Hurwitz. 0.99

02:19:32.000 I believe it was Hurwitz and the other guy was... 1.00

02:19:34.000 Fuck, the Irish... 1.00

02:19:36.000 Fuck, I can't remember his name. 1.00

02:19:37.000 He's driving me crazy. 1.00

02:19:38.000 I'll send you a...

02:19:39.000 But hold on, hold on. 0.98

02:19:40.000 But this Mark Colling guy would have this fucking crazy practice and everybody would be dying, hands on their knees, and Colling would run across the fucking room and slide down on his knees and go, come on, let's go, who's next? 0.98

02:19:52.000 And just wanted to keep wrestling, wanted to keep going, wanted to keep drilling. 0.99

02:19:55.000 And the coach pointed at him and he goes...

02:19:57.000 There's guys like that in every weight class.

02:20:00.000 He goes, you better get that in your head.

02:20:02.000 There's guys like that in every weight class.

02:20:04.000 And I remember realizing myself, you know, being 14 years old or whatever I was, you know, I was either 14 or 15. And I was looking at him and I was going, my God, like this.

02:20:14.000 Yeah, you got to know.

02:20:15.000 You got to know that there's dudes out there that are willing to take it like that.

02:20:18.000 Yeah.

02:20:18.000 They're willing to go that far.

02:20:19.000 That are superhuman.

02:20:20.000 Coach Murphy, that was the Irish guy.

02:20:21.000 And Murphy was always trying to get me to play football. 1.00

02:20:23.000 I'm like, bitch, are you crazy? 1.00

02:20:24.000 No. 1.00

02:20:24.000 I'm a small person. 1.00

02:20:26.000 No way, football.

02:20:26.000 There was a dude on our wrestling team that was also playing football.

02:20:29.000 His name was Bob Baker. 0.98

02:20:30.000 He was 300 fucking pounds in high school. 0.99

02:20:33.000 Yeah, you were playing against those guys. 1.00

02:20:34.000 Forget it.

02:20:35.000 Yeah, and I wrestled 134. This fucking giant dude somehow had another squash on top of me. 0.99

02:20:41.000 Fuck that, man. 1.00

02:20:42.000 And hitting you with it. 1.00

02:20:43.000 Oh my God.

02:20:44.000 I tried football for one season and I was so afraid.

02:20:48.000 I just, seeing these huge guys run at me, I was like, I'm So dangerous, man.

02:20:51.000 I was made of paper.

02:20:52.000 It's such a dangerous sport.

02:20:54.000 I mean, people love it and everything like that, but charging into guys full clip.

02:20:57.000 Dude, your head's not made for that.

02:20:58.000 My 14-year-old nephew is 185 pounds, and he's 6'1", and he squats 285 for reps.

02:21:06.000 Okay, he's 14. He's a giant.

02:21:08.000 Jesus.

02:21:09.000 And he plays football.

02:21:09.000 And I watched him play JV. He's only 14. And I watched those kids hit each other, and I was like, nobody's head's built for this.

02:21:17.000 I told his dad, I go... 0.99

02:21:18.000 Look, he's a monster. 1.00

02:21:19.000 Get him out of there. 1.00

02:21:20.000 Get him into fighting.

02:21:21.000 He plays guitar.

02:21:22.000 Let him play guitar. 0.99

02:21:23.000 They don't even know how bad the damage is until these guys die.

02:21:27.000 You remember that guy that fell off of his back of his girl's truck? 0.99

02:21:29.000 He had an old man's brain. 1.00

02:21:30.000 Yeah, he had an old man's rotten brain. 1.00

02:21:33.000 It showed all this degeneration. 0.99

02:21:35.000 He was 23. I think he was 25, but yeah, close enough.

02:21:38.000 I mean, it's insane.

02:21:39.000 These guys have been doing this through high school and college.

02:21:42.000 He wasn't even a lineman or a running back.

02:21:46.000 I have a friend who was a lineman, and he said back in the day when he was to play in college, they didn't allow you to use your hands.

02:21:52.000 So you couldn't push guys?

02:21:54.000 You would slam head-to-head with guys?

02:21:56.000 Is that true?

02:21:57.000 Does that make any sense?

02:21:57.000 No, no.

02:21:57.000 You always use your hands.

02:21:58.000 You always use your hands.

02:21:59.000 Always?

02:21:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:22:00.000 Well, is there anything different than what you couldn't do?

02:22:02.000 Because he was telling me that people would spike guys in the chest with their...

02:22:06.000 No, the big difference is that now, in football, you can't have helmet-to-helmet contact.

02:22:11.000 You can't do it deliberately.

02:22:12.000 So if you hit somebody, you tackle somebody, a lot of guys used to run at you, and they'd hit you with their helmet in the head.

02:22:17.000 Okay.

02:22:17.000 Were you always allowed to use your hands and push guys, or were you going to have to block guys?

02:22:21.000 Do you have to block them?

02:22:22.000 On the line, You can use your hands.

02:22:23.000 But yeah, you typically held your hands this way.

02:22:25.000 But what are the rules? 1.00

02:22:26.000 Can you grab a guy and fucking judo his ass to the ground? 1.00

02:22:29.000 When you're on offense, you cannot do that. 1.00

02:22:31.000 You can't.

02:22:31.000 On defense, can you?

02:22:32.000 No holding on offense.

02:22:34.000 On defense?

02:22:34.000 On defense, you can grab and move.

02:22:36.000 You can pull people out of the way. 0.99

02:22:37.000 So on defense, if a dude's coming at you, you can judo his ass? 0.99

02:22:40.000 Yes. 1.00

02:22:40.000 Really? 1.00

02:22:41.000 You can grab his clothes and fucking hip toss him? 1.00

02:22:43.000 Yeah, but it's really hard to do because those guys know what the fuck they're doing. 1.00

02:22:45.000 Yeah, no shit, right? 1.00

02:22:46.000 That's one of the craziest things when you see some nutty running back, one of those fucking freaks, one of those incredible specimens. 1.00

02:22:53.000 And I remember this one. 1.00

02:22:53.000 Adrian Peterson. 1.00

02:22:54.000 Dudes were trying to get a hold of him and he's spinning.

02:22:56.000 He keeps spinning.

02:22:57.000 Adrian Peterson.

02:22:58.000 They try to get a hold of him.

02:22:59.000 He just spins out of their hands.

02:23:00.000 Google Adrian Peterson sprinting with his shirt off.

02:23:03.000 There's a commercial.

02:23:04.000 And just take a look at the physicality.

02:23:06.000 A guy who's so fast.

02:23:08.000 He runs, I think, 27 miles an hour or something like that.

02:23:11.000 What is the human athlete going to look like a hundred years from now?

02:23:15.000 Because a lot of things going on, like Venus and Serena Williams, okay?

02:23:19.000 They're going to have sex and they're going to make a baby. 1.00

02:23:21.000 And I can only hope they have sex with some Olympic athlete motherfucker and we see what's possible. 1.00

02:23:26.000 And everybody just keeps doing that to the point where it just becomes the number one seed on the planet Earth and just see what is possible with this human form. 1.00

02:23:35.000 It's not going to come to that because we're going to have two things.

02:23:37.000 You're going to have...

02:23:37.000 Training methods, of course, and nutrition and all that.

02:23:40.000 Nanobots and shit, genetic engineering. 0.83

02:23:42.000 Yeah, science is going to step in and take care of everything that nature came up with. 0.99

02:23:45.000 Gene joping, gene manipulation, myostat inhibitors, all those things.

02:23:49.000 If we think that the stock market crash is a wake-up call, wait until the genetic crash comes.

02:23:55.000 We're going to have 400-pound linemen, 500-pound linemen. 1.00

02:23:57.000 We're going to have fucking women that are 10 feet tall squashing men on the head. 1.00

02:24:00.000 Can't wait! 1.00

02:24:01.000 Could you imagine if some woman became like a mad crazy man hater and they genetically engineered a way for her to be like a chack of the giants? 1.00

02:24:08.000 How big are her tits? 1.00

02:24:08.000 Giant tits. 1.00

02:24:09.000 Huge. 1.00

02:24:10.000 What are you going to do? 1.00

02:24:10.000 Are you going to fuck her with your tiny little dick? 1.00

02:24:12.000 Smother me! 1.00

02:24:13.000 She's going to use you like a dildo and just grab you by your little asshole and stuff you inside her pussy. 1.00

02:24:17.000 Could you imagine if you could just decide, I want to be a 10 foot tall woman because men have been fucking with me, I'm just going to walk around kicking guys in the balls and shove them. 1.00

02:24:25.000 Well, meshing with other animals, your genetic structure with other animals, that's what's interesting. 0.98

02:24:28.000 The idea is, can you stop that technology from getting to that point, and can you keep it out of the hands of a person who would use it for a terrible thing?

02:24:36.000 Probably not.

02:24:37.000 Probably not, right?

02:24:37.000 You think everything...

02:24:38.000 Look at this.

02:24:39.000 I mean, there's laptops that we sit and use.

02:24:42.000 Just your phone.

02:24:42.000 Your phone has so much more power than anything that existed in the 1960s.

02:24:46.000 But everybody's going to have access to it, so everything is going to come up together, just like computers. 0.98

02:24:50.000 Right, but will there come a time where we have to stop people from becoming 10 foot tall, attacking the giant women, stomping on dudes and shit? 0.99

02:24:57.000 I mean, could you imagine if the manipulation of actual physical life, if it actually gets to a point where you can design what you want to look like, and like you can say, Mom, Dad, I've decided to be one of the blue people from Avatar, and you just decided.

02:25:10.000 The Pentagon is definitely trying to figure out ways to create super soldiers, whether it's cloning or tissue regenerations.

02:25:18.000 Forget about super soldiers.

02:25:19.000 How about things that don't even exist?

02:25:21.000 You can become a dragon.

02:25:23.000 I want to be a dragon.

02:25:25.000 That's what Craig Venter, the guy who created that synthetic biology, Craig Venter's team, the implications are in 20 years...

02:25:33.000 In which one is this?

02:25:33.000 Is this the guy who had...

02:25:34.000 He's the guy who created...

02:25:35.000 It's made out of metal or is he the guy with silkworm?

02:25:38.000 No, he just created basically a synthetic form of bacteria that was basically whose genetic blueprint was created on a computer.

02:25:45.000 It's synthetic biology.

02:25:47.000 And the idea is that anything you can conceive of, a human being can make.

02:25:52.000 Do you know that scientists have been able to grow sperm in a laboratory dish?

02:25:55.000 Yes, I do.

02:25:56.000 Your time is up, son.

02:25:58.000 I know.

02:25:58.000 Our time on this planet as men will no longer be useful.

02:26:01.000 It's just that biology is going to be an antiquated machine.

02:26:05.000 Well, somehow or another, it's going to be controlled by technology.

02:26:08.000 It's going to be some mad rush to see who can dominate whatever aspect of this new reality comes up.

02:26:13.000 Yeah.

02:26:14.000 Because if there's no morality and there's no humans that are in control of it, clearly it's going to get to a point where it's going to be wild, wild west for genetic manipulation.

02:26:21.000 Yeah, but also the idea is if you're going to live that long, what does that say about your earning power? 0.94

02:26:25.000 You've got to make a lot of fucking money for a long time.

02:26:27.000 You know that Apple's got, you know, we're not going to need to charge our phones anymore. 0.98

02:26:32.000 They have fuel cells. 1.00

02:26:34.000 That shit's going to blow up on your dick. 1.00

02:26:35.000 They have a patent for fuel cells and every two weeks you'll take a nitrogen cartridge and it'll be set for two weeks. 1.00

02:26:42.000 What?

02:26:42.000 I'm going to pee.

02:26:43.000 Really?

02:26:44.000 It's going to be that crazy?

02:26:45.000 Yep. 1.00

02:26:46.000 Why don't you just hold your pee and we'll wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:26:48.000 Do you guys know LA-based comic Angelo Bowers? 0.99

02:26:52.000 No.

02:26:52.000 He died today.

02:26:53.000 I don't know if you know him.

02:26:54.000 He hung out at the comic store a lot and stuff like that.

02:26:57.000 I don't know the exact details, but I think he might have...

02:26:59.000 I've been in a car with another friend of ours who we talked about earlier in the podcast, Josh Adam Myers, and maybe a drunk driver hit him, but I don't know if that's real.

02:27:06.000 Do you have a picture?

02:27:07.000 Yeah.

02:27:08.000 I don't know. 0.90

02:27:09.000 That sucks. 0.99

02:27:11.000 That sucks. 1.00

02:27:13.000 Oh, let's say, rest in peace to Fat James, too. 0.99

02:27:15.000 I don't know that dude, but Fat...

02:27:17.000 Well, maybe I might have met him before.

02:27:19.000 I'm not sure.

02:27:20.000 But Fat James, I knew very well.

02:27:22.000 You remember Fat James from the Comedy Store?

02:27:24.000 I sure do.

02:27:25.000 He's one of the first people I met in Los Angeles.

02:27:28.000 No, he looks like Andrew Dice Clay, but squished and fat.

02:27:32.000 He was a jolly guy.

02:27:33.000 Very nice guy.

02:27:34.000 Yeah, he passed away, unfortunately.

02:27:37.000 But, uh, he was a great dude.

02:27:39.000 So, rest in peace, Fat James.

02:27:40.000 Um, uh, thank you to Brian Callen for coming by, brother.

02:27:43.000 Thank you.

02:27:44.000 Thank you for having me.

02:27:45.000 You're always, like, whenever I think, you know, you're just like Joey Diaz and Burt Kreischer or Duncan Trussell. 0.88

02:27:50.000 Whenever I think you're out of interesting shit to talk about, you come with a wave of new things and I swear, man, when you were talking about the Holocaust, I've always been aware of the Holocaust, of course, but there's something about the way you were describing it that it was shining like some extra light on how fucking crazy and barbaric it was. 0.95

02:28:06.000 You were saying it so eloquently, it really made me tune in to how chaotic and sane and disgusting and horrific it really was, man. 0.98

02:28:15.000 Yeah, it truly was.

02:28:17.000 And important to keep in mind also the lesson of the Holocaust is that it can happen again in some form or another. 0.89

02:28:23.000 Human beings, when you give people power over you, they'll take advantage of it.

02:28:30.000 And it sounds melodramatic, but something like the NDAA actually does that.

02:28:33.000 It's not what the Constitution...

02:28:35.000 It's certainly the first step.

02:28:35.000 It's not how it was founded.

02:28:37.000 It's certainly the first step. 0.99

02:28:38.000 The people who founded this country knew that shit could go wrong. 0.99

02:28:41.000 So they had a bunch of things in place. 0.99

02:28:43.000 And one of the things that Benjamin Franklin said, and you should never forget this, that he who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither.

02:28:50.000 That's a good way to end this podcast.

02:28:52.000 I love that.

02:28:52.000 Say that again.

02:28:53.000 He who would sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither.

02:28:57.000 Outstanding.

02:28:57.000 They knew back then, man, someone's going to play a shell game on you, man.

02:29:00.000 Outstanding.

02:29:00.000 They're going to tell you, there's some bad people out there.

02:29:02.000 We need to look at your email to protect you from them.

02:29:06.000 That's right. 1.00

02:29:06.000 Those fucks. 1.00

02:29:07.000 Get your own porn. 1.00

02:29:08.000 Thank you to... 0.95

02:29:09.000 Liberty.

02:29:10.000 Liberty and justice for all.

02:29:11.000 One of the most important things that people forget.

02:29:13.000 Individual liberty, too. 1.00

02:29:15.000 That's in the goddamn Constitution. 0.99

02:29:16.000 All right? 1.00

02:29:16.000 It's in the Bill of Rights. 1.00

02:29:17.000 It's in the idea that this country was founded on. 0.99

02:29:20.000 They got away from a system that sucked, and they said, let's make one for the fucking people. 0.99

02:29:25.000 By the people. 1.00

02:29:26.000 For the people.

02:29:26.000 By the people.

02:29:27.000 And now it's become for the corporations.

02:29:29.000 And lobbying groups.

02:29:31.000 And lobbying groups. 0.99

02:29:32.000 And cunts. 1.00

02:29:32.000 It's for the cunts. 1.00

02:29:34.000 We could just stop the cunts. 1.00

02:29:36.000 We could be okay. 0.98

02:29:37.000 Four little words!

02:29:38.000 Statue of Liberty, Fleshlight. 0.99

02:29:39.000 Stop the cunts. 1.00

02:29:40.000 I'm going to start fucking training. 1.00

02:29:41.000 I'm going to go to Nick Diaz's camp and just start boxing. 1.00

02:29:44.000 They'll kill you. 0.99

02:29:45.000 Oh, they will? 1.00

02:29:45.000 They'll kill you. 1.00

02:29:46.000 No, they'll be nice to you, sure. 0.99

02:29:47.000 I'll make them laugh.

02:29:48.000 Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast, as always.

02:29:51.000 Everything we sponsor, everything always.

02:29:53.000 We will never sponsor anything that we don't believe in. 0.98

02:29:55.000 And both Brian and I, and even Brian Callen, have fucked these things, and I'm telling you, it's way better than beating off, and you know you're going to beat off. 0.99

02:30:02.000 Stop playing games. 0.99

02:30:04.000 Just go ahead and order one. 1.00

02:30:05.000 And when you're nutting your little fake vagina thing, and you're like, ugh, you'll be like, Joe Rogan was right! 1.00

02:30:10.000 This is awesome! 1.00

02:30:12.000 I usually go, ugh, ugh! 0.94

02:30:16.000 I got fucking crazy silverback when I come. 1.00

02:30:19.000 You know what, I think I sound like I stubbed my toe. 1.00

02:30:23.000 I'm like, oh, fuck my toe! 1.00

02:30:26.000 I like to let chicks know it's in them. 1.00

02:30:27.000 Oh, before you end, quickly. 0.99

02:30:29.000 Jimmy Burke, I heard him having sex one time, and he goes, Oh! 0.88

02:30:33.000 Oh! 0.93

02:30:34.000 God bless America!

02:30:36.000 That's what he did when he blew.

02:30:38.000 That's Jimmy Burke.

02:30:38.000 I was like, Jesus, Jim.

02:30:40.000 Thank you to Onnit.com, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, and New Mood.

02:30:47.000 All different types of supplements for different things.

02:30:49.000 Alpha Brain is a cognitive enhancing supplement.

02:30:51.000 New Mood is a serotonin boosting supplement.

02:30:56.000 And then, of course, Shroom Tech Sport is the one that's for people who are seriously into working out.

02:31:01.000 If you're not, skip that.

02:31:02.000 And then Shroom Tech Immune is a fascinating one where it fires up your immune system because it recognizes the mushroom that you're eating as some sort of a possible threat.

02:31:12.000 And then it gears up for a fight that never takes place, leaving you with a charged immune system.

02:31:16.000 Pretty wicked, from what I understand. 1.00

02:31:18.000 But I don't understand any of this shit. 1.00

02:31:19.000 I'm just talking out of my ass. 1.00

02:31:20.000 I just work here. 1.00

02:31:21.000 If you go to JoeRogan.net, click on the link, enter in the code name ROGAN, you will get 10% off all that shit. 0.95

02:31:27.000 And always, everything on it is 100% money back guarantee. 0.98

02:31:30.000 If you don't like it, Just fucking tell us and you get your money back. 0.96

02:31:34.000 You don't even have to send in the product. 0.98

02:31:36.000 And on top of that, if you like the idea of it, if you think it costs too much money, please buy it in bulk.

02:31:41.000 Find the ingredient list online.

02:31:43.000 It's in the exact dose.

02:31:44.000 And make it yourself.

02:31:46.000 I am much more concerned with people not feeling ripped off.

02:31:50.000 I don't really care if you buy it or not.

02:31:52.000 Buy it.

02:31:53.000 Don't buy it.

02:31:53.000 But if you want to buy it, get it at Onnit.com.

02:31:55.000 O-N-N-I-T. Okay, January 27th, the Chicago Theater is still not quite sold out.

02:32:03.000 The whole bottom is gone.

02:32:04.000 Now they opened up a new top layer.

02:32:06.000 So there's still some tickets left.

02:32:07.000 It's going to be me, Duncan Trussell, and Joey Diaz.

02:32:11.000 Dream, Captain.

02:32:12.000 That's the day before the UFC in Chicago.

02:32:15.000 The Chicago Theater is actually where the weigh-ins are.

02:32:17.000 So we're going to go there for the weigh-ins.

02:32:19.000 I'm going to emcee the weigh-ins.

02:32:20.000 Then we've got a show that night. 0.94

02:32:21.000 Should be a bitchin' time. 1.00

02:32:23.000 One-two combo, too. 0.97

02:32:24.000 Duncan Trussell and Joey Diaz.

02:32:25.000 We've got a show Friday also at the Ice House.

02:32:28.000 Powerful.

02:32:28.000 Yeah.

02:32:29.000 Am I in that?

02:32:30.000 Yeah.

02:32:30.000 Oh, that's right.

02:32:31.000 Yeah, Friday the Ice House, bitches. 1.00

02:32:33.000 And the Ice House Chronicles, which is only available on Death Squad, the Death Squad label on iTunes. 0.96

02:32:38.000 It's free, as always.

02:32:40.000 All of our podcasts are free.

02:32:41.000 We're committed.

02:32:42.000 You will never see my podcast cost you money.

02:32:44.000 It's just always going to be this. 0.99

02:32:46.000 There's some ads in there, and some of them are a little hokey, and some are a little verbose, but whatever, bitch. 1.00

02:32:51.000 You don't have to buy anything. 0.98

02:32:53.000 Why am I justifying anything? 0.69

02:32:57.000 I just want to tell everybody, thank you, everybody who came out for New Year's because it was a fucking awesome vibe in the room, man. 0.97

02:33:03.000 And I had a great fucking time. 0.98

02:33:05.000 And I appreciate the shit out of all of you people. 0.99

02:33:07.000 There's never been a time ever in my life where I had people that would come to see my shows that get me more. 0.97

02:33:17.000 You know, I mean, having this sort of a...

02:33:19.000 Don't you feel like that too now?

02:33:20.000 I love it.

02:33:22.000 Brian Callum was just telling me about this because of the podcast. 1.00

02:33:24.000 People know who the fuck he is. 0.99

02:33:25.000 They understand him now. 0.99

02:33:26.000 And it's just the coolest resource ever.

02:33:28.000 And we appreciate the fuck out of you guys.

02:33:30.000 I just want to let you know we've tuned in to a really awesome group of human beings out there. 0.91

02:33:35.000 And every one of my shows, people say that.

02:33:37.000 All the waitstaffs are always saying how generous everybody is and how nice everybody is and how smart everybody is and there's no douchebags.

02:33:43.000 And that means the world to me.

02:33:45.000 That means everything.

02:33:46.000 That means we're putting out the right vibe.

02:33:47.000 You guys are giving out the right vibe. 1.00

02:33:49.000 It's spreading, you dirty hookers. 1.00

02:33:51.000 And that's it. 1.00

02:33:52.000 Follow Brian Callen on Twitter.

02:33:54.000 B-R-Y-A-N Callen. 1.00

02:33:57.000 And Brian Reichel is, of course, Redband. 0.52

02:34:00.000 R-E-D-B-A-N. Hello! 1.00

02:34:03.000 That's it.

02:34:03.000 We'll see you, Dirty Freaks, most likely Thursday with some fantastic new guest.

02:34:09.000 Not sure who.

02:34:10.000 We're going to try to fit a girl in. 1.00

02:34:11.000 Oh, that one girl. 1.00

02:34:12.000 We need to get a girl in. 1.00

02:34:13.000 We haven't had a girl in a while.

02:34:14.000 Chicks are complaining. 1.00

02:34:15.000 Girls have things to save you! 1.00

02:34:17.000 And of course, Kelly Carlin, too, who's George Carlin's daughter.

02:34:20.000 I want to get her in as well.

02:34:21.000 Oh, wow.

02:34:22.000 Yeah, it comes highly recommended by Kevin Smith.

02:34:24.000 You said she was awesome.

02:34:25.000 And other than that, that's it.

02:34:28.000 Friday night at the Ice House will sell out.

02:34:31.000 It's a very small place.

02:34:32.000 It's only 85 seats, and we do it all the time.

02:34:35.000 And it's going to be the best of the best, whoever's in town.

02:34:37.000 You in town Friday night?

02:34:38.000 I am not in town. 1.00

02:34:39.000 Bitch, where you at? 1.00

02:34:41.000 You on the road? 1.00

02:34:42.000 Yeah.

02:34:42.000 All right.

02:34:43.000 Well, whoever's there, it's always like Joey Diaz, Doug Benson.

02:34:46.000 There's a lot of great comics there.

02:34:47.000 I'll be there the next one.

02:34:48.000 Didn't you be there at the next one?

02:34:50.000 Alright. 1.00

02:34:51.000 This fucking show's over. 0.99

02:34:52.000 Thank you very much for everything. 0.99

02:34:53.000 All you guys, we're on this thing together.

02:34:56.000 Write it.

02:34:57.000 Suck it. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 03, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #172 - Bryan Callen

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript