The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1751 - Brian Simpson

00:00:12.000 We're up, Ryan.

00:00:13.000 We're up.

00:00:13.000 We're here, man.

00:00:14.000 What's going on, brother?

00:00:14.000 Good to see you.

00:00:15.000 It's happening.

00:00:16.000 It is.

00:00:16.000 It is indeed.

00:00:17.000 Cheers, sir.

00:00:18.000 Thank you.

00:00:18.000 Merry Christmas.

00:00:19.000 Happy New Year.

00:00:20.000 All that good stuff.

00:00:21.000 Yay.

00:00:24.000 You know how people started doing that?

00:00:26.000 Why?

00:00:27.000 I don't know.

00:00:27.000 Because during prohibition, it was a way to try to tell if you had bullshit alcohol because if you banged it and it bubbled, then you knew it wasn't.

00:00:36.000 Oh, really?

00:00:37.000 Yeah, because people would sell bullshit alcohol.

00:00:39.000 Isn't that funny because that's exactly what's going on with the fentanyl overdoses?

00:00:42.000 The reason why fentanyl is rampant through this country is because people are getting this shit from Mexico because heroin's illegal.

00:00:51.000 So they're getting it from Mexico.

00:00:52.000 They're getting the coke from Mexico, and it's laced with fentanyl.

00:00:55.000 And all that stuff is laced, and the reason why they do it, they cut it to make it stronger so they can have less cocaine, because fentanyl's cheap.

00:01:03.000 And that's why all these people are dying.

00:01:04.000 So they can transport more?

00:01:06.000 Yes.

00:01:06.000 Do you know the number one cause of death between people 18 to 49 right now is fentanyl?

00:01:12.000 That's crazy.

00:01:13.000 100,000 people died last year from fentanyl.

00:01:17.000 That's a real epidemic.

00:01:19.000 That is a real epidemic.

00:01:20.000 That's crazy.

00:01:20.000 Yes, it's crazy.

00:01:21.000 Way more than died from COVID with the same age class.

00:01:25.000 Yeah, we recently had a bunch of comics pass from Fentanyl.

00:01:30.000 Yeah, that whole thing with Quigley and those three dudes she was hanging with.

00:01:34.000 And then I remember seeing, you know, so I'm checking on my people that I know, you know, do a little bit of the powder.

00:01:40.000 And I'm like, hey, man, you know, and a lot of people are like, oh, I've got to leave this shit alone.

00:01:45.000 I've got to leave this shit alone.

00:01:45.000 I was like, why doesn't everybody just test?

00:01:48.000 And he goes, you can test it?

00:01:50.000 I was like, yeah, you can test it.

00:01:51.000 He was like, we'll party tonight.

00:01:53.000 You know, it's like, you can just go get the...

00:01:55.000 It's like, man, you haven't learned shit.

00:01:56.000 Dude, if heroin was legal, if cocaine was legal, you'd get it straight from the source.

00:02:01.000 You'd get real cocaine that's not cut at all.

00:02:03.000 It would be probably, I've never done coke, but the way they describe it, it's like a much better experience, and then you don't have to worry about it, and then you know what you're doing.

00:02:12.000 Yeah, I'm in the legalize everything camp, you know?

00:02:15.000 Yes!

00:02:16.000 We talked about it last time I was here.

00:02:17.000 Just legalize it all.

00:02:18.000 Have it come, have the FDA. Exactly.

00:02:23.000 It's scalable, right?

00:02:24.000 It's like, what would you do if it was just the three of us?

00:02:27.000 Imagine if it was just the three of us were on an island and Jamie's like, marijuana should be illegal.

00:02:32.000 And we were like, what the fuck?

00:02:33.000 Jamie wants to lock us up for marijuana.

00:02:36.000 Like, that would be crazy.

00:02:37.000 We'd have to kill Jamie.

00:02:38.000 Right.

00:02:38.000 We'd just be like, well, there's two of us.

00:02:39.000 Yeah, we're like, what the fuck are you talking about, man?

00:02:41.000 But that's exactly what it's like with the government.

00:02:43.000 With the government, it's like one person versus three or four, whatever it is.

00:02:49.000 It's like a small group of people that are deciding that things should be illegal.

00:02:53.000 And then it's a bunch of parents that don't want their children to get addicted.

00:02:57.000 And I understand that.

00:02:58.000 I'm a parent.

00:02:58.000 I don't want my children to get addicted.

00:03:00.000 But that's what is happening.

00:03:01.000 That's what's happening.

00:03:03.000 Here's always my pushback on that, right?

00:03:05.000 Is all of the horrible things that have happened with drugs have happened During the prohibition era.

00:03:15.000 Yes.

00:03:16.000 So, you know, making it legal isn't going to make it more likely that your kids are going to get addicted.

00:03:21.000 In fact, they know, wasn't it where they studied the people coming back from Vietnam?

00:03:26.000 And they were like, the people that did heroin over there would come back.

00:03:29.000 And the ones that had, like, loving, supportive environments and family, they stopped doing heroin.

00:03:33.000 Yes.

00:03:34.000 Yes.

00:03:34.000 But it's hard to say to somebody that lost someone.

00:03:38.000 Right.

00:03:40.000 Yeah, I've lost very good friends.

00:03:41.000 One of my best friends in life died of a drug overdose.

00:03:45.000 He died from pills.

00:03:47.000 I'm not exactly sure, but I think he was on Oxys.

00:03:50.000 And this was in the early 2000s.

00:03:53.000 It's an epidemic.

00:03:55.000 It's terrible.

00:03:56.000 But I feel like you should be able to make your own choices.

00:04:00.000 Look, we're here drinking scotch.

00:04:01.000 If I drank this bottle and you drank that bottle, we might both be dead.

00:04:05.000 You know?

00:04:06.000 We drank a whole bottle of this stuff.

00:04:07.000 Let me just go to the hospital.

00:04:08.000 You're gonna get fucked up.

00:04:10.000 If we drank all the liquor on that table, we just decided in an hour to drink all the liquor on the table, we'd be dead.

00:04:15.000 100%.

00:04:15.000 But we're not gonna do that, right?

00:04:17.000 We're adults.

00:04:18.000 And I think the same would be the case if people had access to real cocaine and real heroin.

00:04:23.000 I'm not saying you should do cocaine and heroin.

00:04:25.000 Look, I'm a fucking exercise fiend.

00:04:27.000 I'm not thinking they should just go and do drugs all the time.

00:04:30.000 You shouldn't.

00:04:31.000 But you're an adult.

00:04:32.000 You should be able to make up your own choices.

00:04:34.000 And no other adult should be able to tell you what you can and can't do.

00:04:38.000 All the things that you do that are illegal that people blame drugs on, like driving under the influence or going crazy and murdering people, we have laws already for those things.

00:04:50.000 You already can't do those things.

00:04:52.000 The drug is not the problem.

00:04:55.000 The problem is, have you ever heard Gabor Mate talk about drugs and addiction?

00:05:01.000 No, I don't know what it is.

00:05:01.000 He's a very interesting guy.

00:05:02.000 He's an expert on drugs and addiction and all the real fallacies.

00:05:09.000 What's his name?

00:05:09.000 Gabor Mate?

00:05:10.000 Gabor Mate.

00:05:11.000 M-A-T-E. But he's saying it all comes from trauma.

00:05:15.000 I mean, all these people that are severely addicted, all those people that you see that are homeless and they're just shooting up and smoking crack, those people are all sexually abused, physically abused, beaten.

00:05:26.000 They've come from traumatic backgrounds.

00:05:28.000 That's the problem.

00:05:29.000 The problem is not the drugs.

00:05:31.000 But they lost everything.

00:05:32.000 It's the environment.

00:05:33.000 Yes.

00:05:34.000 I remember the Cat Williams joke where he's like...

00:05:37.000 He's like aspirin is perfectly legal.

00:05:39.000 You take 15 in the motherfuckers, that'll be your last headache.

00:05:43.000 That's true.

00:05:43.000 You know?

00:05:44.000 That's a good way to put it.

00:05:45.000 Yeah, it's like...

00:05:46.000 But nobody wants to really address the environment thing because that's a bigger...

00:05:51.000 That's not a simple fix.

00:05:53.000 Bro, eat a pound of salt.

00:05:54.000 You're dead as fuck.

00:05:55.000 Take one pound of salt.

00:05:57.000 Eat it.

00:05:57.000 You're dead.

00:05:58.000 Yeah, I think if you eat a pound of anything, you're pretty much gone, right?

00:06:02.000 Well...

00:06:02.000 You probably get away with a pound of sugar.

00:06:04.000 Unless you're a professional...

00:06:06.000 There's a lot of people out there eat a pound of sugar a day.

00:06:09.000 Yeah.

00:06:09.000 You know, for the longest time of my life, I never thought about it.

00:06:12.000 Like, when you go to a restaurant over there and go, this is a quarter pound of beef.

00:06:16.000 Or this is, you know, this is a half pound burger.

00:06:19.000 And it's like, I never really put that together.

00:06:21.000 Like, oh, I'm putting...

00:06:22.000 I'm putting a half a pound of meat in my stomach.

00:06:26.000 Yeah.

00:06:27.000 That's not good for you.

00:06:28.000 Yeah, it is.

00:06:28.000 Is it?

00:06:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:30.000 It doesn't matter how it's cooked?

00:06:31.000 Bro, people have been eating meat since the dawn of time.

00:06:35.000 There's nothing wrong with meat.

00:06:37.000 What's wrong with people's diets is all the shit they eat with meat.

00:06:40.000 That's why those epidemiology studies are so flawed.

00:06:44.000 Because those studies are never done.

00:06:47.000 An epidemiology study is like, they quiz a bunch of people, they give them a form to fill out, and they say, how many times a week do you eat meat?

00:06:55.000 And then they look for instances of cancer, instances of heart attacks, high blood pressure, and then they make a correlation.

00:07:03.000 The problem with that is, they're not asking, what are you doing with the meat?

00:07:08.000 Are you eating cheeseburgers on a sugary bun with a bunch of fries dipped in fat?

00:07:13.000 Are you drinking it with a large Coca-Cola that's all sugar?

00:07:18.000 What is your diet like?

00:07:20.000 Are you smoking cigarettes?

00:07:21.000 Are you doing this?

00:07:21.000 Are you doing that?

00:07:22.000 And then you'd get a better baseline.

00:07:24.000 If you said to a person, what are you eating?

00:07:27.000 And they say, well, I eat a 16-ounce grass-fed ribeye, and then I'll have some steamed broccoli or some sautéed spinach.

00:07:34.000 Look at those fucking people.

00:07:35.000 They're healthy as shit.

00:07:37.000 If you're exercising and your body's not overweight and you're taking care of yourself, there's nothing wrong with meat.

00:07:43.000 I don't do any of those things.

00:07:45.000 Damn it!

00:07:47.000 No, I gotta start.

00:07:48.000 I was telling her, I need to spend like a month at David Gargan's house.

00:07:52.000 You don't want to do that.

00:07:53.000 No.

00:07:54.000 Yeah, he might fucking kill me.

00:07:55.000 You don't want to do that.

00:07:57.000 Get up, son!

00:07:58.000 Dance on tomorrow! 0.93

00:07:59.000 Have you ever kicked it with, like, chill with that dude in his environment?

00:08:03.000 Well, I never worked out with him, but I've hung out with him multiple.

00:08:06.000 I just hung out with him a couple days and go in Vegas.

00:08:08.000 Oh, okay.

00:08:08.000 Yeah, I saw he was on the other day.

00:08:10.000 Yeah.

00:08:11.000 Yeah.

00:08:11.000 Oh, that's right.

00:08:12.000 I did go to Vegas, Jamie, but I only went for about four hours.

00:08:16.000 This is what happened.

00:08:17.000 Went to Andrew Schultz's wedding, and then Whitney Cummings said, I gotta leave at 645. I'm gonna do a set in Vegas, and then I'm gonna fly back tonight at 10 o'clock.

00:08:26.000 I go, really?

00:08:27.000 And so it was me, Lex Friedman, my wife, and Whitney.

00:08:31.000 And we said, fuck it, let's go.

00:08:33.000 So we went and Whitney did a private party at this lady's house with Dana Carvey.

00:08:40.000 Yeah, some rich lady. 1.00

00:08:42.000 And so we do this, we do the gig, and then we go back.

00:08:46.000 They had gotten her a private jet.

00:08:48.000 We go back and the private jet was broken.

00:08:50.000 No pilot, no one to get back.

00:08:52.000 So we wound up taking a fucking car.

00:08:54.000 We had to get a car service to drive us back.

00:08:57.000 To L.A.? Yeah, from Vegas to LA. We got back at 5.30 in the morning.

00:09:01.000 But in the meantime, we hung out at the, what's it, the Wynn for a little bit and hung out with David.

00:09:09.000 I'm surprised David Goggins was like, let's run back.

00:09:11.000 He was doing push-up contests with Lex.

00:09:13.000 I got a video of them doing push-ups on the floor of the Mirage, or of the Wynn.

00:09:18.000 Was it close?

00:09:19.000 No.

00:09:19.000 Of course not.

00:09:20.000 No.

00:09:20.000 Lex was drunk.

00:09:22.000 David moved so fast when he was doing push-ups, I saw that.

00:09:24.000 Did you see that video?

00:09:25.000 Yeah, he just does them so fast.

00:09:26.000 Bro, he does push-ups all day.

00:09:28.000 There's no more disciplined human that's ever walked the face of the earth.

00:09:32.000 It's insane.

00:09:33.000 Yeah.

00:09:34.000 It's insane.

00:09:34.000 I wish I could tell you about his knee injury, but he asked me not to explain exactly what they had done.

00:09:39.000 But you find out how fucked up his knee was, and now he's running thousands of miles on that knee.

00:09:44.000 Like, what the hell?

00:09:46.000 I had a one-off.

00:09:49.000 Lex, by the way, was 30 hours of no food and just drinking.

00:09:55.000 Why was he not eating?

00:09:57.000 I don't know.

00:09:58.000 That guy's not even doing them correctly.

00:10:00.000 Who was that?

00:10:00.000 That guy's some just dude who just showed up.

00:10:02.000 Look, there was a whole bunch of people in the lobby just filming these guys doing push-ups.

00:10:06.000 But look at Goggins.

00:10:07.000 He could do that all day.

00:10:08.000 All day.

00:10:09.000 He'll do thousands of push-ups.

00:10:12.000 Yeah, you don't want to work out.

00:10:14.000 You don't want to go to his house and work out.

00:10:15.000 He'll wake you up at 4 o'clock in the morning.

00:10:18.000 Who's going to carry the boats?

00:10:20.000 You'll be like, what?

00:10:20.000 What are boats?

00:10:21.000 What are you talking about?

00:10:22.000 We're in Nevada.

00:10:25.000 Yeah, he's an interesting dude.

00:10:28.000 I'm following him on Instagram every morning.

00:10:30.000 He's like, you're a pussy. 1.00

00:10:31.000 Don't be a pussy today. 0.99

00:10:32.000 Stay hard!

00:10:33.000 Yeah.

00:10:34.000 Well, that's what he did to himself.

00:10:37.000 The beautiful thing about that guy is that he was 300 pounds, he was overweight, he was drinking milkshakes, and couldn't even run around the block, and then decided to turn himself into what we see today.

00:10:48.000 Yeah, I had a warrant officer like him when I was in the service.

00:10:51.000 Yeah?

00:10:51.000 Yeah, man.

00:10:51.000 He was like older than all of us and just smoking us every...

00:10:55.000 Like you couldn't give him an excuse.

00:10:58.000 Because he was better than you at everything and older than you.

00:11:00.000 So it was like, there was no, my back hurts, I got a cramp, so what?

00:11:08.000 Because his attitude was like, so you're going to fail the mission because you got a cramp?

00:11:12.000 Right.

00:11:13.000 Yeah, in the military, that's exactly how they have to look at it.

00:11:16.000 You can't just wait for a day where you feel perfect.

00:11:19.000 Yeah, but when you got a leader like that in charge of you, though, when they're not just talking, when they're doing it, yeah, you'll run through a wall for that motherfucker.

00:11:28.000 That's the difference between someone who's a leader who is not walking the walk.

00:11:32.000 Those people get resented.

00:11:33.000 You fucking hate them.

00:11:34.000 The moment you see them be a hypocrite, it's like, it's over.

00:11:38.000 That's the key, I think, in companies and businesses and everything.

00:11:43.000 A person has to lead by example.

00:11:46.000 The people that are putting in the extra hours and extra work, you want to do work for them.

00:11:52.000 But when they want to go home and they tell you, you've got to stay until 2 o'clock in the morning to get this project done, And you're like, hey man, fuck you.

00:12:00.000 You're going to go home and you're going to leave me here.

00:12:02.000 You get paid more money than me.

00:12:03.000 This is your company.

00:12:04.000 It benefits you that I do this work and you're leaving.

00:12:08.000 I was just reading about the Peter Principle.

00:12:11.000 Have you heard of this?

00:12:11.000 No.

00:12:12.000 Where it's like the people at companies that do the best work get stuck with more work.

00:12:20.000 And so the people that are left get promoted.

00:12:25.000 And so you end up with this diluted middle management.

00:12:29.000 That's why people are miserable at their jobs.

00:12:32.000 Just because your boss is almost always going to be someone that isn't better than you.

00:12:36.000 Yeah.

00:12:37.000 Yeah.

00:12:38.000 I think it's probably super hard to find a company to work for where everybody's friendly.

00:12:44.000 And everybody's just having a good time and enjoying life.

00:12:47.000 I interviewed this guy the other day that...

00:12:53.000 So I was doing this thing for Netflix.

00:12:56.000 It's called My Favorite Thing.

00:12:57.000 So they let you take over the thing and then they find new people.

00:13:01.000 So my favorite thing was gaming.

00:13:03.000 And they found me, I did it with Eric Griffin and all this, but then they went and found me two professors of gaming.

00:13:11.000 So one of them, I fucking can't remember her name right now, but the guy, he was the professor of, he was a psychologist, and he specialized in the mentality of gamers online,

00:13:26.000 and his whole thing is how workplaces should be set up more like Like, games.

00:13:34.000 Like, the way they develop games, the way they market them towards the people, the reward pattern and all that, to avoid the Peter Principle, right?

00:13:43.000 So it's like...

00:13:44.000 And the lady, she was a professor of, like, informatics that focused on gamers and her whole family games. 0.93

00:13:53.000 She games with her kids, she games with her husband, and we were just talking about how, like, it changes the bond...

00:14:00.000 Like, it's a bonding thing with your kids.

00:14:02.000 It's a trust building thing with your husband, you know what I'm saying?

00:14:06.000 Right, so you have a team effort to go accomplish missions and shit.

00:14:09.000 Yeah, like they were fucking playing Diablo on Nightmare.

00:14:12.000 They're family.

00:14:13.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:14:14.000 Like, you get one life.

00:14:17.000 Can you imagine that?

00:14:18.000 That's hard.

00:14:19.000 That's hardcore.

00:14:20.000 I can't trust my mom to heal me.

00:14:22.000 You know?

00:14:23.000 Yeah, man.

00:14:24.000 I can't fuck with games.

00:14:26.000 I'm too addicted.

00:14:27.000 I have too much of an addictive personality.

00:14:29.000 I would try to do...

00:14:30.000 I would just try to play it all day.

00:14:32.000 Well, yeah, man.

00:14:33.000 I don't have a family, so it's...

00:14:35.000 I can get sucked in, man.

00:14:36.000 I mean, especially since, you know, now games are like, they're shameless.

00:14:41.000 Games are 100 bucks, 120 bucks, and it's like, I'm gonna put my time in this motherfucker.

00:14:45.000 Right.

00:14:45.000 And do you play the game by itself, or do you only play online?

00:14:50.000 It depends on what it is.

00:14:52.000 If it's like a competitive shooter or something like that, I play that online.

00:14:57.000 The problem with those things is there's so many people that are doing them all day long and you get sucked into that and then you want to compete at the level that they're at and the only way you can do that is if you play all day long.

00:15:07.000 It's impossible.

00:15:09.000 This is another thing.

00:15:10.000 I was telling Santino this, but I remember being at the comedy store, and I was in the back watching the Overwatch playoffs on my phone.

00:15:22.000 And then comics catch you doing something nerdy, they start giving you shit like they haven't been nerds their whole life.

00:15:27.000 And people were giving me shit about it.

00:15:28.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:15:29.000 I'm like, this is the playoffs.

00:15:30.000 They're like, what?

00:15:32.000 It's like they look down on it because, you know, how amazed you are by something is about how far away you see yourself from being able to do it.

00:15:42.000 What's interesting, too, is if you were watching, like, the World Chess Championship, they'd be like, oh, Brian's smart as fuck.

00:15:46.000 Oh, right.

00:15:46.000 Well, I watched that, too.

00:15:47.000 Right, but you know what I mean?

00:15:48.000 Like, there's games that are acceptable.

00:15:50.000 Right, but not that.

00:15:51.000 Yeah, you could even watch, like, tennis, right?

00:15:54.000 Tennis.

00:15:54.000 Anything that people don't think they could do.

00:15:57.000 Right.

00:15:58.000 But people see people playing a game and go, well, I play games.

00:16:02.000 But it's like, no, this motherfucker is so much better than you.

00:16:06.000 He is as much better than you at games as Michael Jordan is better than you at basketball.

00:16:12.000 Yeah.

00:16:12.000 Yeah, and it's hard for you to accept because he's 13 years old.

00:16:16.000 Yeah.

00:16:16.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:18.000 And you can't wrap your head around the fact that he'll whoop your ass at every game you own.

00:16:22.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:16:23.000 Yeah, these kids, like the high level, because a lot of times the kids, the people that are winning these tournaments and stuff, they're good at everything.

00:16:31.000 They'll win a tournament in another game too.

00:16:33.000 They get recruited, they get bought from other people, from other teams.

00:16:38.000 It's serious business.

00:16:39.000 They're making millions of dollars.

00:16:40.000 There's real money in it now, but we were kids, you were told that playing video games was a waste of time.

00:16:45.000 That mentality's still stuck in our head.

00:16:46.000 Right.

00:16:47.000 You cost me millions, Grandma.

00:16:50.000 But it's still, for a lot of people, it is a waste of time.

00:16:54.000 Yeah, because you're never gonna...

00:16:55.000 Because even still, it's even...

00:16:59.000 It's just like athletes.

00:17:00.000 It's like the top...

00:17:03.000 1%, the top less than that, 1% of people go pro and actually make a living from it.

00:17:08.000 But isn't that argument, couldn't you make that same argument about comics?

00:17:11.000 You have a new Netflix special that's out right now.

00:17:15.000 Yep, out right now.

00:17:16.000 And how many fucking comics start out and never have a Netflix special?

00:17:20.000 From open mic to Netflix special, 99.9%.

00:17:24.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:17:25.000 Same thing, right?

00:17:26.000 You're right, you're right.

00:17:27.000 So I think it rolls back to...

00:17:31.000 It's two things.

00:17:32.000 It's accurate self-assessment, which a lot of people lack the ability to do that.

00:17:37.000 And then it's also having people around you that love you enough to be like, this ain't it for you.

00:17:44.000 You know what I mean?

00:17:45.000 Because it's like your friends will...

00:17:50.000 Say your breath smells like shit at the party.

00:17:53.000 Your friends that love you will be like, hey man...

00:17:57.000 Eat this mint.

00:17:58.000 Your breath smells like shit.

00:17:59.000 But people that are just acquaintances or whatever, they'll just wait till you walk away and go, Joe's breath smells like shit.

00:18:04.000 Did you smell that?

00:18:04.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:18:05.000 And so it's like, if somebody around you gotta love you enough to be like, bro, you got to stop this.

00:18:10.000 But some people, if they keep going, they will make it.

00:18:13.000 It's so hard.

00:18:15.000 Especially in the early days of comedy, man, it's hard to tell.

00:18:18.000 Yeah, it's because I've been wrong.

00:18:19.000 I've been wrong.

00:18:20.000 I've been wrong, too.

00:18:20.000 I've been like, he done got it, man.

00:18:22.000 I'm sorry.

00:18:23.000 And I feel bad for some people, too.

00:18:25.000 And it's delusional.

00:18:26.000 Because here's the other thing, too.

00:18:27.000 You don't know.

00:18:28.000 You have to believe that you can.

00:18:30.000 Right.

00:18:31.000 But...

00:18:32.000 But you gotta know.

00:18:33.000 You gotta know.

00:18:34.000 But you don't know if you're one of those people that's right or one of those people that's delusional.

00:18:38.000 And sometimes the difference between someone who's right and delusional is just effort.

00:18:43.000 It's just willpower, effort, time.

00:18:45.000 Sometimes not, though.

00:18:46.000 Sometimes they're just lacking the gene.

00:18:48.000 Yeah, some people don't got the...

00:18:49.000 Because the only time I'm 100% certain that somebody isn't going to make it is if they're not funny.

00:18:56.000 You have to be funny to be able to do the work to get...

00:19:01.000 Without saying any names, there's people that have made a career in comedy that are not funny at all.

00:19:06.000 Mark Norman.

00:19:07.000 Hey, Mark, he said it.

00:19:09.000 Not me.

00:19:11.000 Mark is also on season three of the stand-ups with me.

00:19:14.000 Mark Norman's brilliant, but there are legitimately non-hilarious people.

00:19:19.000 It's not going to happen, but yet they make a living doing comedy, and you always see them.

00:19:24.000 They're always trying to get on spots, and they'll ask you to be on your podcast, and you're like, yikes!

00:19:29.000 See, that's the thing.

00:19:31.000 I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but I realized something about the business, is that you can have talent, Or a lack of shame.

00:19:44.000 Or some mix of the two.

00:19:47.000 Because those people you're talking about, they have no shame.

00:19:50.000 They don't care if it's the 50th time they've asked you to be on your podcast.

00:19:54.000 They don't care if it's at your wedding.

00:19:56.000 They don't care if they saw you running the bathroom and you're taking a shit.

00:19:59.000 And they knock on the stall and go, hey Joe, just wanted to bother you real quick.

00:20:02.000 They don't feel...

00:20:04.000 Bad at all, because they know, and they've learned from experience, that eventually they'll wear you down to where you give it to them just so they'll leave you the fuck alone.

00:20:12.000 Yeah.

00:20:13.000 You know?

00:20:13.000 And if you got no shame, you good.

00:20:16.000 There's a lot of people like that too, right?

00:20:18.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:19.000 There's a lot of no shame people.

00:20:21.000 But there's a lot of people that just, it seems like their version of reality is different than what you and I see.

00:20:27.000 It's like they think they're doing well when they're not.

00:20:31.000 Like they'll go on stage and they think they're getting laughs, but they're not.

00:20:35.000 Like they'll get a little sympathy laugh here and there and they think it was good.

00:20:38.000 I don't get it.

00:20:39.000 I don't know how that is.

00:20:40.000 It's like somebody being tone deaf.

00:20:42.000 It's crazy people.

00:20:43.000 I don't know, man.

00:20:46.000 You know the concept of an NPC, a non-player character?

00:20:53.000 There's a lot of people out there that literally are that.

00:20:56.000 They're real.

00:20:57.000 It's a horrible thing to say that they're inconsequential humans, but there are people that, for whatever reason, they never connect with people.

00:21:05.000 All the friendships they have are very surface level.

00:21:08.000 They never have real love.

00:21:10.000 They never really care about people.

00:21:11.000 They're always just weird fucks.

00:21:13.000 Well, they're psychopaths.

00:21:14.000 I was just listening to something the other day about how we, you know, there's a list that came out maybe five, six years ago, and it was like the top ten professions that psychopaths go to.

00:21:25.000 One of them was like CEO, surgeon, and people always forget about the other seven.

00:21:31.000 It's like there are psychopaths all around you.

00:21:34.000 There's a bus driver that he doesn't feel.

00:21:37.000 Is that a sociopath or psychopath?

00:21:39.000 That's what I meant.

00:21:40.000 They're real similar, though.

00:21:41.000 The distinction between sociopath and psychopath...

00:21:44.000 What is the distinction?

00:21:45.000 Because someone was explaining it to me once that there's not much difference between a sociopath and a psychopath.

00:21:50.000 Maybe a psychopath...

00:21:56.000 I think that they've slowly started to conflate the two.

00:22:02.000 What is that book that has all the mental health shit in it? 0.80

00:22:07.000 The MS? You know what I'm talking about? 0.99

00:22:09.000 No.

00:22:10.000 But there's a book that defines everything.

00:22:13.000 Maybe it's called the DSR? Okay.

00:22:16.000 Okay, how sociopaths are different from psychopaths.

00:22:18.000 Both are form of antisocial personality disorder.

00:22:22.000 Sociopath is a term people use often arbitrarily to describe someone as apparently without conscious.

00:22:26.000 In most cases, a description blithely tossed about to label a person as being either hateful or hate-worthy.

00:22:34.000 The same applies to term psychopath, to which many people suggest a sociopath who is simply more dangerous, like a mass murderer.

00:22:40.000 While the characteristics of sociopathy and psychopathy may overlap, sociopathy is an unofficial term for an antisocial personality disorder.

00:22:51.000 Psychopathy is not an official diagnosis and it's not considered APD, antisocial personality disorder.

00:22:59.000 The term sociopath and psychopath are often used interchangeably.

00:23:02.000 Each has its own clear lines of distinction that can be broadly described.

00:23:06.000 And what is the clear lines of distinction?

00:23:08.000 Yeah, that didn't help.

00:23:09.000 The difference.

00:23:10.000 Okay, sociopaths.

00:23:11.000 Makes it clear they do not care how others feel.

00:23:15.000 Psychopaths pretend to care.

00:23:16.000 Oh.

00:23:17.000 Psychopaths display cold-hearted behavior.

00:23:20.000 Sociopaths behave in hot-headed and impulsive ways.

00:23:25.000 Sociopaths prone to fits of anger and rage.

00:23:28.000 Psychopaths fail to recognize other people's distress.

00:23:31.000 Psychopaths have relationships that are shallow and fake.

00:23:34.000 Sociopaths recognize their doing but rationalize their behavior.

00:23:39.000 Psychopaths maintain a normal life as a cover for criminal activity.

00:23:43.000 So psychopath sounds like a serial killer and sociopath sounds like a comic.

00:23:46.000 Am I the only one that was just thinking, I think I fucked a few psychopaths?

00:23:50.000 For sure.

00:23:51.000 Or sociopaths.

00:23:53.000 Cold-hearted behavior, yeah.

00:23:53.000 Well, there's a lot of people that are broken from whatever trauma they experience when they're young, and they carry that into adulthood, but they mask it with fake caring and fake empathy.

00:24:07.000 There's a lot of sociopaths that are woke, because they use that to attack people.

00:24:16.000 There's like a list of things they can attack you for, and they use it as an excuse to be a horrible person.

00:24:23.000 Oh yeah, that's the new trend.

00:24:25.000 It's like, well, everyone is looking for permission to be their worst self.

00:24:29.000 Right.

00:24:29.000 You know?

00:24:30.000 So it's like, I wouldn't normally burn down your house with your kids inside.

00:24:34.000 But, you know, you voted for...

00:24:36.000 You voted for Trump.

00:24:36.000 Yeah, so fuck you.

00:24:38.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:24:39.000 I face it a lot where it's like, I remember back during all the social uproar and I posted that people are...

00:24:50.000 Yes.

00:24:53.000 Yes.

00:25:05.000 But there's people out there that's really about their life, though.

00:25:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:07.000 Yeah, that'll fucking throw hands or shoot something.

00:25:10.000 Yeah.

00:25:11.000 Then I believe you.

00:25:12.000 Yeah.

00:25:14.000 There's people that are really good people that dedicate their life to charity.

00:25:18.000 And then there's people that are dedicating their life to charity so that other people know that they're a good person.

00:25:23.000 Yeah.

00:25:23.000 It's the same kind of people that used to be like, do it for the children.

00:25:28.000 But it's really their way of controlling what you can watch and what you can listen to.

00:25:32.000 Right.

00:25:33.000 That's a natural inclination to human beings, to force people to do things and to make people behave a certain way or speak a certain way or do certain things that they want you to do.

00:25:45.000 You're seeing that a lot in today's culture with this vaccinated versus unvaccinated argument.

00:25:51.000 That there's a lot of people that, you know, want unvaccinated people to be refused medical care and be ostracized from society.

00:25:59.000 And even though, as time's going on, we're realizing that even vaccinated people are catching COVID and spreading it, particularly with this new version of it.

00:26:06.000 Which I keep hearing is a good thing.

00:26:08.000 I keep hearing this Omicron.

00:26:10.000 I've talked to a doctor and he was explaining that this is essentially like a live vaccine.

00:26:15.000 He goes, this is, it's not good to catch.

00:26:17.000 He goes, but he goes, it's way better than any strain of COVID we've ever seen before.

00:26:21.000 There's no deaths so far registered in America, except one guy that's in Texas that had a bunch of health conditions and they're not even saying now that it was COVID that killed them.

00:26:32.000 They're now saying he had it when he died, which is, this guy was fucked up.

00:26:36.000 They're not personally, but when they say that publicly, that's a clear indication that there's something really wrong with this guy.

00:26:44.000 They're not saying what it was, but I'm assuming it was the only guy that's died in this whole fucking month and a half period that this shit's been spreading through this country.

00:26:52.000 Well, you know, I think that all of that is just a symptom.

00:26:56.000 The problem is people don't trust the government.

00:26:59.000 They don't trust the media because they always fucking lying.

00:27:02.000 Yeah, you shouldn't trust the government or the media.

00:27:04.000 Because I remember, I don't know if it was, you know, when I was...

00:27:07.000 When I was a kid, but it would be like, oh, if the president came on TV and said some shit, you believed the shit.

00:27:13.000 Right, 100%.

00:27:14.000 But it's like, once we started finding out, oh, these motherfuckers lie about everything.

00:27:18.000 Once Clinton started lying about blowjobs, everybody was like, what?

00:27:21.000 Well, yeah, that did.

00:27:22.000 Nixon was the chip.

00:27:25.000 Well, actually, Kennedy was the first crack.

00:27:30.000 Because people start, you know, when they covered up all the paperwork, and this is what's so funny, they still keep pushing that shit down the line.

00:27:37.000 Every president, no matter which side you want, every Republican president, every Democratic president, since, every time those papers are supposed to come out, they fucking cover the shit up.

00:27:48.000 It's wild, isn't it?

00:27:49.000 Like, what is in those papers?

00:27:50.000 Yeah, because there was a time where I thought that the James Webb telescope, I thought the Kennedy shit would come out before the depth telescope was ready.

00:27:58.000 Because I'm a nerd with that kind of shit.

00:28:01.000 And it was like, I've been waiting on this telescope for a minute.

00:28:03.000 And every time I was like, well, I'll find out who killed Kennedy before that.

00:28:06.000 I don't think that's true.

00:28:08.000 That scope's going to be launched before we know who killed Kennedy.

00:28:11.000 Before those papers are released.

00:28:13.000 And the only reason they could still be secret is because...

00:28:20.000 I think it would probably cause mass hysteria if people found out that the CIA was involved or something like that.

00:28:27.000 They had to be.

00:28:28.000 That's the only reason why they would keep it under wraps.

00:28:31.000 That's the only reason.

00:28:33.000 There's no other reason.

00:28:34.000 There's no logical reason why they wouldn't release those papers.

00:28:38.000 Yeah, it's insane.

00:28:39.000 Because even if people involved are still alive...

00:28:42.000 Can I smoke a cigarette in here?

00:28:43.000 Mm-hmm.

00:28:44.000 The people that...

00:28:45.000 I'm quitting when the special come out, Mom.

00:28:48.000 Do you want a cigar?

00:28:50.000 No.

00:28:51.000 Last time I did that shit, it fucked me up.

00:28:52.000 Cigars fucked you up?

00:28:53.000 How so?

00:28:55.000 It just made my shit all dry.

00:28:57.000 I mean, this ain't healthy, but I'm an addict.

00:28:59.000 It's definitely not healthy.

00:29:00.000 I'm just making excuses.

00:29:01.000 I'm an addict.

00:29:01.000 How often do you smoke them?

00:29:03.000 Cigarettes?

00:29:03.000 Yeah.

00:29:06.000 Goddamn.

00:29:07.000 I don't know.

00:29:09.000 Probably...

00:29:09.000 You know, it changes when I'm doing comedy or when I'm performing.

00:29:13.000 You smoke more?

00:29:14.000 Yeah.

00:29:15.000 Interesting.

00:29:16.000 I smoke more when I'm at the comedy store and shit.

00:29:18.000 Because everybody else is doing it?

00:29:20.000 It's social?

00:29:20.000 No, no one else does it.

00:29:22.000 No one?

00:29:22.000 Very few.

00:29:23.000 Kind of bullshit-ass.

00:29:24.000 Like, most people, like, now it's just the era of the healthy comic.

00:29:27.000 Ah, those motherfuckers. 1.00

00:29:29.000 Mm-hmm.

00:29:30.000 They're judging you.

00:29:31.000 Judgers. 0.52

00:29:32.000 Goddamn judgy fucks. 0.98

00:29:34.000 Ma Special comes out today, I'm done.

00:29:36.000 That's it?

00:29:37.000 You're done?

00:29:37.000 I told her when it comes out, I'm done.

00:29:39.000 And what are you going to do to replace it?

00:29:41.000 Are you going to do gum?

00:29:42.000 Are you going to do the shit you put in your mouth?

00:29:46.000 I was hanging out with Schaub at Schultz's wedding, and he takes those little dip pouches, shoves them in his mouth.

00:29:52.000 Nah, fuck that.

00:29:52.000 He grabbed three of those motherfuckers and stuck them inside his cheek like a squirrel.

00:29:57.000 And I go, what are you doing?

00:29:58.000 He goes, I'm an addict.

00:29:59.000 He goes, I'm a straight addict.

00:30:01.000 I can't do it, man.

00:30:01.000 The dip shit.

00:30:02.000 So one time when I was deployed, We had our little, this was my second deployment, so by this time we had more comforts and shit, and we had our little six, our little 12 by six can or whatever.

00:30:17.000 But my can, and there's six Marines sleeping in one of these things.

00:30:21.000 But my can had, we had negotiated with the locals and we had a TV, we had an Xbox, and we had a little makeshift couch that we had built and made comfortable.

00:30:30.000 So everybody would come in our room and watch The Sopranos.

00:30:33.000 Or played, or coming out can and all that shit.

00:30:36.000 And this one motherfucker, I can't remember his name.

00:30:39.000 Anyway, this son of a bitch had this weird habit of leaving his dip bottles every fucking way.

00:30:46.000 Right?

00:30:46.000 Oh no.

00:30:47.000 Yeah, and one day, you know, one day I'm sitting there, I'm drinking my shit, and I put it down by my feet, and I reach back down, and I grab it, not looking, mouth full of dip spit.

00:30:58.000 Yeah, it took three people to pull me off that motherfucker. 0.96

00:31:01.000 It wasn't fair to be mad at him for real for not paying attention, but you know you have those events where you relive them.

00:31:09.000 Every time I think about it, I can taste it.

00:31:12.000 And I could never dip.

00:31:13.000 I could never dip.

00:31:14.000 And I'm still mad about it.

00:31:17.000 I've dipped.

00:31:19.000 It definitely gives you a nice little head rush, but not as good as cigarettes.

00:31:22.000 Cigarettes give you the best head rush.

00:31:25.000 It's like a woo!

00:31:27.000 I love a cigarette before I go on stage.

00:31:29.000 I don't know how I'm going to replace that.

00:31:31.000 Like right before?

00:31:32.000 You're going to try to use a jewel or something like that?

00:31:34.000 I don't know.

00:31:35.000 That doesn't work good enough.

00:31:37.000 No, I think you just have to stop.

00:31:39.000 You just have to stop.

00:31:39.000 I started, I had this book called The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

00:31:44.000 And everybody that I've got to read the book, they've stopped.

00:31:48.000 But I've never finished it.

00:31:51.000 What does it tell you to do?

00:31:54.000 So the premise of it is basically, instead of telling you the reasons you shouldn't smoke, they attack the reasons why you say you smoke.

00:32:02.000 All the reasons people give, and they show you that they're just excuses, that you're just as much of an addict as a crackhead or...

00:32:08.000 That doesn't help you.

00:32:10.000 I think what helps people is things like Ibogaine, mushroom trips, things like that.

00:32:17.000 Oh yeah, I know a lot of people that, my buddy, actually he just left.

00:32:21.000 He moved down here actually.

00:32:23.000 Mitch, I can't remember Mitch's last name, goddammit.

00:32:27.000 Anyway, he quit after a mushroom trip.

00:32:30.000 He was like, he did shrooms and was like, nah, I was just done.

00:32:34.000 Yeah.

00:32:35.000 Well, you start thinking about what you could be doing to your body.

00:32:38.000 You know, what could be happening inside of your body.

00:32:41.000 Yeah, so maybe I just need a picture of a tumor.

00:32:44.000 Yeah, or a health scare.

00:32:46.000 A little bit of health scare.

00:32:47.000 Well, I've had enough of those.

00:32:48.000 That doesn't stop people, really.

00:32:50.000 No?

00:32:50.000 Cigarettes?

00:32:51.000 No, it's people that's dying in the hospital now that's still sneaking out to smoke cigarettes.

00:32:55.000 Yeah, but that's just because they know they're dying.

00:32:57.000 I'd rather just take the cigarette now, other than die and not enjoy a cigarette, because you're already dying.

00:33:03.000 So you're saying the type of health scare where they're like, look, if you stop now, you'll be okay.

00:33:08.000 But if you don't stop now, yeah, maybe one of those.

00:33:10.000 Something's got to show you your lungs, or you see the blackness, like the tar and all the fucking decay.

00:33:17.000 Have you seen a smoker's lung when they pull it out and they put it next to a healthy person's lung on an autopsy table?

00:33:23.000 It's wild.

00:33:25.000 See if you can find a video.

00:33:27.000 Or a photo.

00:33:28.000 They do autopsies of these people who die of lung cancer.

00:33:32.000 Lifetime cigarette smokers.

00:33:34.000 And their fucking... 0.96

00:33:35.000 Their lungs...

00:33:37.000 They look like they're just covered.

00:33:39.000 Look at that.

00:33:39.000 Look at that fucking lung.

00:33:41.000 Like lung jerky.

00:33:43.000 Look at that one.

00:33:44.000 The black lungs of a chain smoker.

00:33:47.000 The one in the upper left.

00:33:47.000 Click on that.

00:33:48.000 Look at that.

00:33:49.000 That is insane, man.

00:33:51.000 That's so insane.

00:33:53.000 That looks like someone...

00:33:55.000 Oh my god!

00:33:56.000 Look at that next to a regular lung. 0.63

00:33:58.000 That is so wild.

00:34:00.000 One lung is like orangey, reddish, pink, and the other one is literally black and white.

00:34:08.000 Like white tissue and black tissue.

00:34:11.000 Fucking wild, man.

00:34:14.000 That is wild.

00:34:18.000 Terrible.

00:34:19.000 Goddammit.

00:34:20.000 Look at that one up there.

00:34:21.000 That one, the second down, right below that.

00:34:24.000 Look at that.

00:34:24.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:34:26.000 Look at, they're all shriveled.

00:34:27.000 This is like showing me stool samples while I'm eating.

00:34:30.000 Yeah, but that's, if I'm still hungry, I'll still eat.

00:34:33.000 Really?

00:34:34.000 You can just put power through it?

00:34:35.000 I was on Fear Factor.

00:34:36.000 It's not real?

00:34:37.000 This is a computer.

00:34:38.000 Oh, it's computer-generated?

00:34:40.000 Oh, okay.

00:34:40.000 Oh.

00:34:41.000 That's still pretty accurate.

00:34:42.000 Probably accurate.

00:34:43.000 But the one next to it is real.

00:34:45.000 That's real.

00:34:45.000 Yeah, what's wrong with that one down there?

00:34:47.000 The one that looks like it has cheese on it.

00:34:50.000 Which one's that?

00:34:51.000 The one in the middle bottom?

00:34:52.000 Oh, it's pussy. 1.00

00:34:52.000 What is that? 1.00

00:34:54.000 Pulmonary pathology.

00:34:57.000 Good God!

00:34:58.000 It's fucked up because the thing that scares people the most is not being able to breathe.

00:35:03.000 You know?

00:35:04.000 That's what's interesting.

00:35:05.000 It's like that feeling that you can't breathe is terrifying to people.

00:35:08.000 That's why drowning is so terrifying to people.

00:35:10.000 But they say that the last days of a person's life when they're dying of lung cancer is like drowning.

00:35:17.000 It's like you can't breathe and you're gasping for air.

00:35:21.000 And it's like your lungs are filling up with fluid and you can't get any oxygen in there.

00:35:26.000 Because all the sores are like popping.

00:35:30.000 As you tap and take another hit.

00:35:33.000 You went through that cigarette quick too.

00:35:36.000 How many do you smoke a day?

00:35:39.000 It varies.

00:35:42.000 But a pack at the most.

00:35:44.000 A pack?

00:35:45.000 Yeah.

00:35:45.000 It's a lot.

00:35:46.000 What is a pack?

00:35:47.000 16?

00:35:48.000 How many is in there?

00:35:48.000 20. 20?

00:35:50.000 It's actually perfectly formulated for you to smoke all day.

00:35:53.000 Oh, so if you start early and keep going?

00:35:55.000 Well, it's like the rate that the nicotine gets out of your system.

00:35:59.000 Yeah.

00:35:59.000 And it's supposed to be like every 40 minutes or something like that.

00:36:02.000 And so you have just enough cigarettes to smoke all day long.

00:36:06.000 You know what's interesting?

00:36:07.000 Nicotine is actually a medicine.

00:36:09.000 Nicotine itself, I think it's got heart applications.

00:36:14.000 Nicotine for heart.

00:36:17.000 They use it to treat shit?

00:36:19.000 Nicotine by itself is not bad, which sounds so crazy.

00:36:23.000 And it's also a nootropic, meaning it stimulates cognitive function.

00:36:29.000 Like nicotine does stimulate.

00:36:31.000 It's one thing Stephen King said in his book on writing is that quitting cigarettes was very hard for him because it's like his writing suffered a little bit.

00:36:39.000 It's harder for him to write.

00:36:42.000 Oh, dude.

00:36:44.000 Because there's something about the cigarette that like it fires up the synapses, it fires up the brain, and then the writing would come smoother.

00:36:54.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:36:54.000 I don't know because I've smoked all the time I've been doing comedy and writing.

00:37:02.000 So, man, that would be like torture.

00:37:04.000 If the ideas came to me less...

00:37:07.000 Yeah, I think that's what he was saying.

00:37:09.000 But I think you could probably get around that with other stuff that's good for you, like Alpha Brain, and there's a bunch of different nootropics.

00:37:17.000 You can take that gum that you were chewing on earlier.

00:37:19.000 You got some Alpha Brain in here? 0.82

00:37:21.000 Yeah, it's right here.

00:37:21.000 This is the new shit.

00:37:23.000 This is the Alpha Brain black label.

00:37:25.000 It's the strongest version of Alpha Brain we've ever made.

00:37:28.000 That shit's the bomb diggity.

00:37:29.000 Can you get me some of this shit?

00:37:30.000 Fuck yeah.

00:37:31.000 I'll give you a bottle.

00:37:31.000 You can take that.

00:37:32.000 Hell yeah.

00:37:32.000 I'll give you a fresh one.

00:37:34.000 That one's half empty.

00:37:36.000 Hey, I'm gonna be the guinea pig.

00:37:38.000 I'm gonna come back.

00:37:38.000 Because this is my last day.

00:37:40.000 Okay.

00:37:40.000 Well, this stuff is very good.

00:37:42.000 That stuff I take before any UFC. Anytime, like if I'm doing a podcast with a scientist, I take those.

00:37:49.000 Like sometimes you'll see in the beginning of a podcast, I'm like, oh Jesus.

00:37:51.000 I'll throw six pills down throat and I think they're probably like what what the fuck is he doing?

00:37:56.000 You do a podcast with like with like a liar, you know, but when you had that goop the guy Yeah, I don't think he's a liar.

00:38:03.000 He's just he's not a liar.

00:38:04.000 He's he's the face of He's a face of medicine in his eyes.

00:38:10.000 He's a neurosurgeon, is what he is.

00:38:13.000 He's a good guy.

00:38:14.000 I like Sanjay a lot.

00:38:16.000 I really do.

00:38:17.000 He's in a system, and the system doesn't tolerate any dissent, or it doesn't tolerate anybody crossing lines and looking at things objectively, or even taking a chance and looking at something that may or may not be- But why?

00:38:35.000 Because you have to get hired, and you have to keep working, and you have to be accepted by your peers, and all these other people are all squares.

00:38:42.000 All those people he's working with are squares.

00:38:44.000 But meanwhile, what the fuck is happening at CNN? They keep catching pedophiles.

00:38:48.000 Two different pedophiles have been busted at CNN. One guy was Chris Cuomo's producer.

00:38:57.000 And another guy was, I think he worked with Jake Tapper, who I respect very much.

00:39:02.000 I like Jake Tapper a lot.

00:39:04.000 I think he's probably the best journalist.

00:39:06.000 How do they catch him?

00:39:07.000 I don't know, man.

00:39:08.000 There's all these stories online about it.

00:39:11.000 Like, this creeps out there.

00:39:13.000 There are creeps out there.

00:39:14.000 They're real.

00:39:15.000 And they get regular jobs sometimes.

00:39:18.000 You know?

00:39:18.000 And it's...

00:39:20.000 And oftentimes they have jobs where they're like...

00:39:23.000 I'm exposing the criminal underbelly of those kind of jobs.

00:39:29.000 Right.

00:39:30.000 It's like, who's the biggest hoes? 1.00

00:39:32.000 The girls are always calling everybody else a hoe. 1.00

00:39:35.000 Right?

00:39:36.000 Yeah.

00:39:37.000 There's people like that out there.

00:39:40.000 Who you least expect.

00:39:41.000 Yeah, there's like, there's cops that are also criminals.

00:39:44.000 That's a real normal thing.

00:39:46.000 Like cops that become drug dealers and criminals and they commit crime and they've got like a way to understand like how people get caught because they catch people.

00:39:56.000 Yeah, wasn't one of those serial killers?

00:39:58.000 Would he end up being a cop?

00:39:59.000 Oh, for sure.

00:40:00.000 One of the famous ones?

00:40:01.000 Guaranteed.

00:40:02.000 Yeah.

00:40:02.000 I mean, I don't know about famous ones, but guaranteed.

00:40:05.000 Or priests, like touching little kids.

00:40:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:08.000 Well, that's the darkest shit because the priests, they're in this weird cult where you're not allowed to have any sex.

00:40:16.000 That is the strangest fucking thing ever.

00:40:19.000 And you know the reason why they came up with that?

00:40:21.000 Because the priests were fucking everybody.

00:40:23.000 The priests back in the day were like rock stars.

00:40:26.000 They were rock stars.

00:40:27.000 They were banging everybody.

00:40:28.000 Because they were literally the mouth of God.

00:40:30.000 Well, it's like that in all of the...

00:40:34.000 Like all the Judeo-Christian faiths where you don't have that restriction, the pastors are rock stars.

00:40:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:42.000 All the churches I came up in, the pastors were fucking everybody.

00:40:45.000 Everybody, yeah.

00:40:47.000 Hey, Pastor Jenkins.

00:40:48.000 Everybody's flirting with the pastor.

00:40:50.000 That's why.

00:40:52.000 Yeah, those pastors are banging everybody. 1.00

00:40:55.000 That's always been the case.

00:40:56.000 Remember Jim Baker and Tammy Faye Baker?

00:40:59.000 He was banging Jessica Hahn.

00:41:00.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:41:01.000 That was a big scandal.

00:41:02.000 Those names sound familiar, but I don't remember the scandal.

00:41:04.000 Well, the reason why I remember it is because I'm older than you, and it was a big deal on TV because Jim Baker was one of those.

00:41:10.000 He's still on TV now.

00:41:11.000 Now he sells disaster food.

00:41:15.000 And it's kind of hilarious.

00:41:17.000 He sells disaster food, and he sells it in these, like, red bins, like these buckets of, like, freeze-dried disaster gruel.

00:41:27.000 And, like, he's like, if you don't have anywhere to put it, you can use it as a table.

00:41:32.000 And, like, so they have these things stacked up, and they have, like, a tablecloth over it, and they use it as, like, stools and stuff.

00:41:39.000 And that's, like, where you store your disaster food.

00:41:42.000 So people...

00:41:43.000 Geez, people will fall.

00:41:44.000 People will fall for anything nowadays, man.

00:41:46.000 That's the thing.

00:41:47.000 When people don't trust the government and they don't trust the news, it's so easy to get...

00:41:52.000 Dude, I've read some shit the other day about this company called Black Oxygen Organics.

00:41:59.000 Have you heard of these?

00:41:59.000 No.

00:42:00.000 Boo.

00:42:01.000 Hashtag boo.

00:42:02.000 These motherfuckers, get this, Joe, they're selling dirt. 0.99

00:42:23.000 Dirt?

00:42:23.000 What?

00:42:32.000 What the fuck?

00:42:32.000 Yeah, it's a multi-level marketing thing.

00:42:34.000 Oh my god.

00:42:35.000 Magic dirt.

00:42:36.000 How do I not know this?

00:42:37.000 There's too many things to know.

00:42:38.000 How the internet fueled and defeated the pandemic's worst MLM. What's an MLM? Multi-level market.

00:42:43.000 It's a pyramid scheme.

00:42:44.000 Oh, pyramid scheme.

00:42:45.000 Okay.

00:42:46.000 Black oxygen organics became a sudden in the fringe world of alternative medicines and supplements where even dirt can go for 110 bucks a bag.

00:42:54.000 Yeah.

00:42:55.000 What the fuck, man?

00:42:56.000 How did I not know this?

00:42:58.000 When is this?

00:42:59.000 It's What does that say?

00:43:00.000 March of 20?

00:43:01.000 What did you scroll up a little bit?

00:43:02.000 December.

00:43:03.000 Oh, recent.

00:43:04.000 Okay.

00:43:05.000 Social media posts started in May.

00:43:07.000 Photos and videos of smiling people, mostly women, drinking mason jars of black liquid.

00:43:13.000 Oh my god!

00:43:15.000 What the fuck?

00:43:16.000 Slathering black paste on their faces and feet, dipping babies and dogs in tubs of black water.

00:43:23.000 They tagged the post, hashtag boo, and linked to a website that sold a product called Black Oxygen Organics.

00:43:30.000 Difficult to classify his market as fulvic acid.

00:43:34.000 Fulvic acid I've heard about.

00:43:36.000 I think that's like a real supplement, right?

00:43:38.000 Oh, that was dug up from an Ontario peat bog.

00:43:41.000 The website of the Canadian company sold it and billed it as the end product and the smallest particle of the decomposition of ancient organic matter.

00:43:49.000 Huh.

00:43:50.000 Okay.

00:43:52.000 Wow.

00:43:53.000 Wow, there's a bunch of scammers out, like we were talking about earlier.

00:43:57.000 Sociopaths.

00:43:58.000 A gift from the ground, they call it.

00:44:01.000 It's like you can...

00:44:03.000 The reason stuff like that thrives is because people don't trust the official...

00:44:08.000 Yeah, there's a little bit of that.

00:44:09.000 And there's also a little bit of they know that they're getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies.

00:44:13.000 You know, we played this ad the other day of this, what was it?

00:44:17.000 It was a sleeping thing.

00:44:19.000 It helps you go to sleep.

00:44:20.000 But they listed off all the things that could possibly be side effects, including suicidal thoughts, not being able to move your legs, all these different things.

00:44:28.000 Like, Jesus Christ!

00:44:30.000 Like, how about you stay up?

00:44:32.000 Suicidal thoughts?

00:44:33.000 Yeah, oh my god.

00:44:34.000 It's a big problem.

00:44:35.000 Yeah, it's a big problem with a lot of anything that fucks with the mind.

00:44:40.000 Like all these different things that fuck with your mind.

00:44:42.000 All these different, even SSRIs, some of them have suicidal thoughts attached to them.

00:44:47.000 It was that skin shit did that too, right? 1.00

00:44:49.000 Oh yeah, yes, yes.

00:44:51.000 Accutane.

00:44:52.000 Accutane, yeah.

00:44:52.000 Yeah, fucking talk to Santino about that.

00:44:55.000 Yeah, I did.

00:44:55.000 I talked to him about it the other day.

00:44:56.000 Oh my god, he said it was great because it stopped his zits, but he goes, he almost fucking killed himself.

00:45:00.000 Like it was rough.

00:45:02.000 That's crazy.

00:45:03.000 I have several friends that had suicidal tendencies because of some sort of a pharmaceutical drug.

00:45:09.000 And sometimes it's the shit that's supposed to treat depression.

00:45:12.000 Yeah.

00:45:13.000 Because some of the stuff that I was on before...

00:45:16.000 Because a lot of times what happens is...

00:45:21.000 When you're depressed, you don't have the motivation to do anything.

00:45:24.000 So even if you want to die, you don't want to do it.

00:45:27.000 But when you start taking antidepressants, there's a point where you're still depressed enough to want to kill yourself, and then you have just enough motivation to fucking do it.

00:45:36.000 So the most dangerous time is when you first start taking them.

00:45:39.000 Oh my gosh, you got energy.

00:45:41.000 Yeah, you get just enough energy, just enough motivation to where you're like, I think I can pull this off.

00:45:46.000 You know?

00:45:47.000 Have some of that.

00:45:49.000 Is this weed?

00:45:51.000 Oh, okay.

00:45:52.000 Of course it is.

00:45:54.000 I was looking into the lung thing.

00:45:57.000 I don't even know if I believe it, but it's in the article, so we'll go with what it says.

00:46:01.000 What?

00:46:01.000 Lungs from pack-a-day smokers safe for transplants?

00:46:05.000 Study funded by...

00:46:06.000 I know, that's where I started to get into it.

00:46:08.000 R.J. Reynolds.

00:46:09.000 It said 13% of double lung transplant people were, in quotes, heavy smokers, which means at least a pack a day for 20 years, maybe two packs a day for 10 years.

00:46:19.000 Oh, my God.

00:46:20.000 Yeah.

00:46:21.000 Typically, he's been smoking least a pack of cigarettes a day from one to 20 years or two packs a day for 10 years.

00:46:26.000 Two packs a day is wild!

00:46:28.000 In the end, after all variables were accounted for, people who got lungs from heavy smokers lived as long and as well as those who got lungs from tobacco-free.

00:46:36.000 Yeah, but you know what they're saying, though?

00:46:38.000 The thing is, people that get transplanted organs, they don't live that long.

00:46:43.000 Look, I have a good friend, and he got a transplanted heart.

00:46:46.000 He's a wonderful person, and he's on...

00:46:49.000 All sorts of crazy medication because of this.

00:46:52.000 Are you talking about Superman?

00:46:54.000 C.T. Fletcher.

00:46:55.000 Yeah!

00:46:56.000 Love him to death.

00:46:57.000 Yeah, he's...

00:46:57.000 He's amazing.

00:46:58.000 He was my David Goggins before I knew who David Goggins was.

00:47:02.000 Yeah.

00:47:02.000 Well, he's super, super motivational.

00:47:04.000 He's your motherfucking set.

00:47:05.000 And he's become a different person post-heart attack and post-transplant.

00:47:13.000 He still doesn't take any bullshit or excuses, but he's much more loving and open, and he realizes this new gift of life and this new take on life.

00:47:23.000 And also he thinks he's got a woman's heart.

00:47:25.000 He knows it's a woman, but he thinks it's an Asian woman. 0.93

00:47:28.000 I don't think they tell you that, but he's got feelings.

00:47:31.000 The heart has neurons in it.

00:47:34.000 They don't know where memories are exactly stored.

00:47:39.000 What are the cells that recover everything?

00:47:43.000 I don't know.

00:47:44.000 I think it's neurons.

00:47:45.000 The shit they take from stem cells.

00:47:50.000 It could be some residual stem cells shooting through your body.

00:47:55.000 I don't know if your body contains memories in other things.

00:48:00.000 It does.

00:48:02.000 I don't know.

00:48:02.000 It's called...

00:48:03.000 No, they know it does.

00:48:04.000 It's called...

00:48:06.000 Goddamn.

00:48:08.000 I didn't take my on it.

00:48:11.000 But it's called...

00:48:12.000 Because they've figured out that there's something left in your DNA from the trauma of your grandparents and your parents.

00:48:21.000 I believe that.

00:48:22.000 What the fuck is the name of it?

00:48:24.000 I believe that for sure.

00:48:27.000 I don't know.

00:48:28.000 Yeah, well, somebody will put it in the comments.

00:48:31.000 People are screaming right now.

00:48:32.000 You fucking idiots.

00:48:34.000 If I was on that show.

00:48:35.000 But there's something to that.

00:48:37.000 But if you get somebody else's heart, is there DNA in the heart still?

00:48:40.000 Obviously, it has to be.

00:48:41.000 Well, there has to be something, right?

00:48:42.000 Because the heart is still beating.

00:48:44.000 They get it in your body.

00:48:46.000 They make it beat.

00:48:47.000 So it's the same tissue.

00:48:48.000 There are genetic memories, though.

00:48:50.000 I would imagine that, you know, I think there was a study that showed, and I think this was like a recent discovery over the last few decades, that there's as many neurons in the heart as there are in the brain.

00:49:04.000 See if that's true.

00:49:06.000 Or maybe the second highest source of neurons in the body.

00:49:10.000 And the idea was that whole idea of trust your heart.

00:49:14.000 Trust your heart being that it was actually not just a saying, but there's probably something to that.

00:49:24.000 There's probably instinctive, maybe even some kind of thinking that's done with that part of your body.

00:49:30.000 Which doesn't make any sense, because we think of thinking, we think of the mind, we think of the neurons.

00:49:36.000 What's up?

00:49:37.000 I googled the thing about the heart, but I was thinking something different than what you said, and I got the same answer for both things.

00:49:44.000 Very strange that there's two different things called the second brain or little brain, and I don't know which we want to go with.

00:49:50.000 It says the heart has approximately 40,000 neurons.

00:49:55.000 That are like neurons in the brain, meaning the heart has its own nervous system.

00:49:59.000 Jesus Christ.

00:50:00.000 So this is 91 that discovered this.

00:50:02.000 Check this one, though.

00:50:03.000 Okay.

00:50:04.000 Stomach.

00:50:05.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:06.000 Well, that's the other thing.

00:50:07.000 Your gut instinct.

00:50:08.000 Sometimes referred to as the second brain as the nervous system of the gut.

00:50:11.000 It contains some 500 million neurons.

00:50:14.000 Is that the same amount?

00:50:15.000 Would it say for the heart?

00:50:16.000 40,000.

00:50:17.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:17.000 That's a lot more.

00:50:18.000 How many in the brain, though?

00:50:20.000 That's a good question.

00:50:21.000 Billions.

00:50:22.000 So there's way more in the brain.

00:50:24.000 And then the second is not the heart.

00:50:26.000 It seems like the second is the gut, according to this.

00:50:28.000 Because I've heard of things...

00:50:29.000 What's the thing that...

00:50:33.000 I think it's serotonin.

00:50:36.000 I know it's like the happy thing and dopamine or whatever, but there's something...

00:50:40.000 Because there's a pill you can take that makes you not throw up, and it...

00:50:44.000 What it's doing is it's stopping that chemical from going from your stomach to your brain.

00:50:48.000 It just sort of kills that.

00:50:50.000 I forget what it is.

00:50:51.000 There's a thing that vegans always say, and I think there's probably some validity to it.

00:50:56.000 Ouch.

00:50:58.000 This is the thing that a lot of vegans say, is that the diet promotes kindness.

00:51:05.000 I don't think it's just that it's kindness and that you're not killing an animal.

00:51:09.000 I think there's probably also kindness in that you're eating only plants so your brain doesn't think it needs to think in a more vicious way.

00:51:20.000 I think there's probably something to eating meat.

00:51:22.000 Like, Hicks and Gracie used to say that a lot.

00:51:25.000 Who are they?

00:51:25.000 That Hicks and Gracie is the greatest jiu-jitsu fighter of all time.

00:51:28.000 He's like the legendary patriarch of the Gracie clan.

00:51:32.000 He was the head dog.

00:51:33.000 Oh, okay.

00:51:34.000 He was the guy, like, back in the day...

00:51:36.000 But he's not the most famous.

00:51:38.000 Hoist is his brother, and Hoist was the guy who won the first Ultimate Fighting Championship and a bunch of other ones.

00:51:44.000 Hoist will tell you, he tells everybody, that Hickson's 100 times better than him.

00:51:49.000 Hickson was widely regarded as the man.

00:51:51.000 There's not a lot of agreement in Jiu-Jitsu, because you're dealing with...

00:51:57.000 Thousands of black belts, right?

00:51:59.000 Thousands of killers.

00:52:01.000 And there's guys at the elite, elite level, and they're kind of interchangeable.

00:52:05.000 You know, if you say, like, who would win?

00:52:06.000 If it was Salo Ribeiro, or this guy, or if it was Rafael Lovato, or that guy.

00:52:11.000 Like, there's this level of jiu-jitsu where everybody's an assassin.

00:52:15.000 Right, right.

00:52:15.000 But Hickson was the assassin of the assassins.

00:52:18.000 Okay, I like that.

00:52:18.000 Hickson used to do these seminars.

00:52:21.000 So Hickson would teach these seminars, and they would line up black belts. 0.99

00:52:24.000 Line them up.

00:52:25.000 Like ten world-class black belts and Hickson would tap them one after the other with no brink.

00:52:31.000 Tap them one after the other.

00:52:32.000 And he wasn't doing anything like it was physically overpowering them.

00:52:36.000 He wasn't like bigger than them.

00:52:38.000 He wasn't unbelievably fast.

00:52:39.000 He was all those things.

00:52:41.000 I mean, he was like an elite athlete like they all were.

00:52:43.000 But it wasn't that.

00:52:45.000 It was his mind and his understanding of jujitsu was superior to everyone else's.

00:52:49.000 He had like innate talent, but he also had crazy dedication and discipline.

00:52:54.000 And he had an understanding of jujitsu that was off the charts.

00:52:57.000 That's crazy.

00:52:58.000 You know who I've been following recently?

00:52:59.000 Who?

00:53:00.000 Have you heard of this kid, Mikey Masamuchi?

00:53:03.000 Masamuchi, yeah.

00:53:04.000 Oh my god, he's an assassin.

00:53:05.000 This fucking kid, man.

00:53:06.000 He's an assassin.

00:53:07.000 And he's likable, like Nunez almost.

00:53:10.000 He's a sweetheart, yeah.

00:53:11.000 But I watch everything he does.

00:53:14.000 Yeah.

00:53:15.000 I think Musumechi is how you say it.

00:53:17.000 Musumechi.

00:53:18.000 Yeah, I've seen him live a couple of times.

00:53:20.000 They do this thing in Austin.

00:53:23.000 They were doing it once a month.

00:53:25.000 It's called Who's Number One.

00:53:26.000 It's these professional jiu-jitsu matches that they'd have in Austin that they'd stream on Flow Combat or Flow Grappling.

00:53:32.000 That's what I was watching on Flow Grappling, yeah.

00:53:34.000 Dude, it's wild to see them live.

00:53:37.000 I'm going to come back down next time.

00:53:39.000 I will let you know.

00:53:40.000 We'll schedule a podcast around it afterwards.

00:53:43.000 We can go to it and then you can see it.

00:53:45.000 That would be a good way if you get it in shape.

00:53:47.000 You're a strong person.

00:53:48.000 You would probably do great at jiu-jitsu.

00:53:50.000 You think so?

00:53:50.000 Yes.

00:53:51.000 You're a fucking house, man.

00:53:52.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:53:53.000 I mean, I gotta do something.

00:53:55.000 You're obviously not just overweight.

00:53:58.000 You're very strong.

00:53:59.000 There's a lot of muscle there.

00:54:01.000 So if you just trim away at the fat and do it slowly where you don't hurt yourself, don't try to get crazy in the beginning.

00:54:07.000 You gotta check your ego.

00:54:09.000 You're right.

00:54:09.000 Just learn.

00:54:09.000 It's exhausting.

00:54:11.000 And the beautiful thing about that is you walk out of there, you don't want any trouble about anything.

00:54:15.000 Everything is no big deal.

00:54:16.000 Someone's just trying to kill you.

00:54:18.000 People are just trying to kill you.

00:54:19.000 Oh, yeah.

00:54:19.000 Well, there is something to...

00:54:23.000 There's something to being in shape and knowing that you can fuck most people up.

00:54:28.000 It definitely helps.

00:54:29.000 It calms you in a way that you don't start shit because the stakes are high.

00:54:36.000 It's like walking around with a grenade in your pocket.

00:54:37.000 Exactly.

00:54:38.000 It's like, you know, listen, either this is nothing or I'm going to kill somebody.

00:54:41.000 Exactly.

00:54:43.000 That's why you don't see very many UFC fighters.

00:54:46.000 You don't hear about them I'm not making excuses for anybody's behavior, but I am saying that the best of the best are wild I think you have to be like Mike Tyson.

00:55:12.000 I think you have to be to be that goddamn good.

00:55:15.000 There's a level of good.

00:55:18.000 Hickson was never like an out of control guy in that regard.

00:55:22.000 You know, there's a lot of jujitsu guys that are not out of control guys, but they're the best of the best.

00:55:26.000 But there's some fighters that, like, the thing that propels them is this, like, wildness.

00:55:32.000 That they have this ability to, like, in the moment take great risks and also be very creative in the moment and do wild things.

00:55:40.000 And sometimes that is the difference between the very best and the elite.

00:55:45.000 Like, Jon Jones has had some fucking close fights, man.

00:55:48.000 This Alexander Gustafson fight, that shit went to the wire.

00:55:51.000 Well, the first one.

00:55:52.000 Yes, the second one he destroyed.

00:55:53.000 The first one he literally wasn't training.

00:55:55.000 Literally was not training.

00:55:57.000 That's crazy.

00:55:57.000 Was not training.

00:55:58.000 Imagine being that confident.

00:56:00.000 You're like, I'm not even going to train for this one.

00:56:02.000 There's a lot of psychology behind it, and he was actually telling me, I mean, he was admitting it, that there was fights where he would go out and party hard, like get really fucked up the week before the fight, and he said, I think I did it because I had a built-in excuse.

00:56:14.000 So that if I beat them, I can beat these motherfuckers even if I'm partying, but if he loses, he goes, yeah, but I was partying.

00:56:22.000 So he kind of proved that with the Gustafson fight.

00:56:25.000 He won the fight, and he won the fight in the fifth round, too, by the way.

00:56:29.000 The fifth round, he poured it on Gustafson when he wasn't even in shape, and he wasn't even training.

00:56:34.000 That's how good Jon Jones is.

00:56:35.000 Yeah, I love watching him fight.

00:56:36.000 Bro, that division, you gotta realize, that division is super ultra-competitive, right?

00:56:43.000 Unless Jon Jones is in the mix.

00:56:44.000 Then it's not competitive.

00:56:46.000 Jon Jones dominates everybody.

00:56:48.000 That's why I was so...

00:56:50.000 When Nunez lost, I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing.

00:56:54.000 I was like, yeah, because I'm sitting there watching with other people, and I bet money on the Poirier fight.

00:57:00.000 Who'd you bet on?

00:57:02.000 Porek.

00:57:02.000 You bet on Porek?

00:57:03.000 Yeah, because I was like, there's no way he just came off that...

00:57:06.000 The fights with Conor?

00:57:06.000 Conor.

00:57:07.000 I was like, there's no way he's going to lose.

00:57:08.000 But, you know, I'm not as big a fan as...

00:57:11.000 So my homie is the one.

00:57:13.000 He's the Joe Rogan in our group where he knows so much that if there's anything I don't understand, he just explains it, you know?

00:57:19.000 Yeah.

00:57:19.000 He was trying to tell me, no, man, Oliveira's a fucking monster.

00:57:22.000 And I'm like...

00:57:22.000 Olivera's a monster.

00:57:24.000 People think of Olivera as not being a monster because there's times that people have beaten him.

00:57:28.000 Like Paul Felder smashed him and there's a lot of guys that beat him.

00:57:31.000 Cub Swanson KO'd him.

00:57:33.000 Guys have beaten him.

00:57:34.000 But he got better.

00:57:36.000 And you gotta accept that and not think of when he lost.

00:57:40.000 Who gets better at 35?

00:57:43.000 I don't believe he's 35. No?

00:57:45.000 No, I think he's younger than that.

00:57:46.000 And I think he's 33. And I also think that he got into the UFC when he was 20. And so part of the problem was, like, he was learning and developing and growing in an elite organization.

00:57:57.000 How old is he?

00:57:58.000 32. Oh, okay, wow.

00:57:59.000 So, see, he's been around a long-ass time.

00:58:02.000 But he came into his own over the last few years, which kind of makes sense.

00:58:06.000 Like, he figured it out.

00:58:07.000 Somewhere around 27, 28. But he comes, look, these guys are elite, right?

00:58:12.000 They come close to beating them.

00:58:13.000 But he finds a way to beat them.

00:58:14.000 And the way he does it is so final.

00:58:17.000 The way he beat Poirier, man, that choke was so fucking good.

00:58:21.000 It was so good.

00:58:22.000 And that's the same way the world found out about him was Efrain Escudero, who won the Ultimate Fighter, who was a very good fighter himself.

00:58:31.000 He fought Oliveira, and Oliveira took his back same way, standing up, and choked him out.

00:58:37.000 And that's when we first saw him.

00:58:39.000 And the first time I recognized him, I'm like, man, this kid is talented.

00:58:42.000 But then it was like his jiu-jitsu was really good, but maybe his striking wasn't as good as his jiu-jitsu.

00:58:49.000 And then slowly his jiu-jitsu and striking merged, where he's like equal.

00:58:53.000 In both of them, he's lethal in.

00:58:55.000 He's lethal in his striking and lethal in his jiu-jitsu.

00:58:58.000 But the difference is, his level of jiu-jitsu is a leap higher than most of the people he's competing against.

00:59:05.000 I didn't realize that.

00:59:06.000 He has the most submissions in the history of the UFC. Make sure that's true.

00:59:10.000 I'm pretty sure that's true.

00:59:11.000 That also blew my...

00:59:11.000 Because they were saying that during the broadcast.

00:59:13.000 Yeah.

00:59:13.000 That blows my mind.

00:59:14.000 But it's also like everybody...

00:59:16.000 I'm always like...

00:59:18.000 I'm always in my mind going, I want to see this guy fight Khabib. 0.95

00:59:22.000 Oh yes, that would have been the fight.

00:59:23.000 And maybe it could be.

00:59:24.000 I'd do anything to see that fight.

00:59:26.000 Look, maybe it could be still.

00:59:27.000 Khabib might decide at one point in time, you know.

00:59:30.000 Okay, Charles Oliveira holds the record for the most submission wins with a mind-boggling 14 wins.

00:59:35.000 Click on that because I think it's 15 now.

00:59:37.000 Because I think that might be an article that was written before the Poirier fight.

00:59:44.000 I think.

00:59:46.000 I think.

00:59:47.000 Eh, doesn't matter.

00:59:49.000 Either way, Oliveira holds the record.

00:59:51.000 And it's the way he does it, man.

00:59:54.000 Jiu-jitsu's a wild thing.

00:59:56.000 There's guys that are smaller than me, and I'll grapple with them, and I'm in deep danger from the moment you start sparring.

01:00:04.000 Because they're just so much better than me.

01:00:05.000 They're just better.

01:00:06.000 And that's the difference between Oliveira and these guys.

01:00:09.000 It's like they're all really good standing up.

01:00:11.000 He's really good standing up.

01:00:12.000 So there's kind of like an even playing field.

01:00:14.000 But when that motherfucker gets a hold of you, you're in deep danger.

01:00:19.000 Terrifying danger where you can't make any mistakes.

01:00:22.000 Oh yeah, 15, see?

01:00:23.000 Damn, this brain is like a steel trap.

01:00:26.000 Occasionally.

01:00:27.000 Yeah, and he's like, yeah, it's like, it's him and Khabib are scary that way. 1.00

01:00:31.000 Because after that fight, I went back and watched all his highlights and all.

01:00:34.000 No, you hear that.

01:00:35.000 And it's like, yeah, there's a precision, there's a predator-like precision where he pounces on the, like, as soon as you give him an opening.

01:00:45.000 It's a wrap.

01:00:46.000 Well, see, the thing is, Khabib can do that, too.

01:00:49.000 But Khabib chooses to smash you.

01:00:55.000 He smashes people.

01:00:56.000 Khabib smashes people.

01:00:58.000 But if you look at the Justin Gaethje fight, Khabib submitted Gaethje.

01:01:02.000 He almost submitted him in the end of the first round, and they submitted him in the second round.

01:01:06.000 And one of the reasons why he did that, and this is supposedly, I don't know if this is true, But what they said is that, and I know this was true, that they do like each other.

01:01:14.000 And that Justin actually helped Khabib cut weight, sat in with them.

01:01:17.000 Because one of the things about cutting weight is if there's someone there talking to you, it helps you through it.

01:01:21.000 Especially someone, they're also managed by the same guy.

01:01:24.000 So they have the same manager and they got together.

01:01:27.000 So when they had that fight, Khabib liked him.

01:01:29.000 So he says, I'm just going to submit this dude.

01:01:31.000 So he got a hold of him, did his normal shit, gets his wrestling going, but then almost, this is the beginning of the first round, he chose to beat him in a way that he wouldn't have chosen to beat Conor.

01:01:42.000 When he was on top of Conor, he was smashing his face, and he was going, let's talk now!

01:01:47.000 Let's talk now!

01:01:48.000 Bam! 0.98

01:01:49.000 Bam! 0.98

01:01:49.000 Let's talk! 0.98

01:01:50.000 Bam! 0.98

01:01:50.000 Just beating the fuck out of him. 0.98

01:01:52.000 See, in this, he chooses to go straight to an arm bar.

01:01:55.000 It's very unusual for him.

01:01:58.000 But this is Khabib's respect for Gaethje as a person, as a fighter, and also he can do this.

01:02:04.000 He can do this.

01:02:05.000 This is the end of the first round.

01:02:06.000 So he almost catches him at the end of the first round with an arm bar, very close.

01:02:10.000 But the end of the second round, he gets a hold of him, dumps him, takes his back.

01:02:15.000 I mean, it's just the precision, and then he decided to go for a mounted triangle.

01:02:20.000 And so when you watch him do this, he does this with such amazing control.

01:02:24.000 He's doing it very quickly.

01:02:25.000 Look how quickly he sets this up.

01:02:27.000 He's just deciding he's going to do it, period, from the jump.

01:02:30.000 Then he locks in the triangle, and that's a wrap, son.

01:02:33.000 That is a death triangle.

01:02:34.000 Look at it.

01:02:35.000 Justin has to tap.

01:02:36.000 There's no question at all.

01:02:37.000 He's going out.

01:02:38.000 And the referee lets him go, and Justin's out cold.

01:02:41.000 Damn.

01:02:41.000 He didn't struggle at all.

01:02:43.000 Yeah, he tapped and then he went out.

01:02:44.000 But the way he did it, he went through him.

01:02:47.000 He went right through him.

01:02:49.000 I think Khabib could do that to almost anybody, except maybe Oliveira. 0.97

01:02:55.000 I think Khabib, the guys that Khabib beat, that he smashed, I think a lot of those guys he could have submitted to.

01:03:01.000 I think Sabib is that elite, especially at the later stages of his career, when he was just the GOAT. He's arguably one of the absolute best submission artists, even though he smashes so many people.

01:03:16.000 He's arguably one of the very best submission artists as well as being one of the greatest fighters of all time.

01:03:20.000 You watch the way he goes through gates, you like that?

01:03:22.000 That is elite, high-level, precision submission.

01:03:26.000 Oliveira does that too.

01:03:27.000 Olivera does it, man.

01:03:29.000 That's what makes you think, like, wow, that would make the fight with Khabib so interesting.

01:03:34.000 And I know Khabib has a lot of respect for him, too, because Khabib said to Gaethje, there was an article that I was reading where he was saying, hey, you've got to be aware of this guy.

01:03:41.000 This guy is fucking for real.

01:03:42.000 This guy is really dangerous.

01:03:44.000 People look at some of the losses that Olivera had.

01:03:47.000 You can't look at those.

01:03:48.000 You got to look at the wins.

01:03:49.000 You got to look at who he is now.

01:03:50.000 Don't look at who he is five years ago or six years ago.

01:03:53.000 Look who he is right now.

01:03:54.000 Was that the last time he lost?

01:03:57.000 I think, no, I don't think it's that long ago.

01:03:59.000 He had a fight with Felder, and he caught Felder, I believe, in a guillotine.

01:04:05.000 And then Felder got out of it and smashed him and stopped him.

01:04:09.000 Felder's the fucking man.

01:04:10.000 You know, people forget how goddamn good Paul Felder is.

01:04:13.000 You know, Paul Felder may have retired and may have never won the title, but push the top back?

01:04:18.000 Push the top back?

01:04:21.000 The other way.

01:04:21.000 There you go.

01:04:22.000 Now do it.

01:04:24.000 But Felder is an elite fighter.

01:04:27.000 He's an absolutely elite fighter.

01:04:29.000 There's a thing when you get to the top level of a division where it's on any given Saturday night.

01:04:36.000 Any given Saturday night, one guy could be going through camp with a back problem.

01:04:41.000 He's trying to nurse a fucked up knee, and he's trying to do his best, and he keeps the fight anyway.

01:04:45.000 So this is Felder.

01:04:46.000 So Oliveira's got his leg here.

01:04:48.000 He came really close to a leg lock, but Felder can grapple.

01:04:51.000 And he's also very strong and very big for the weight class.

01:04:54.000 So Felder eventually wound up on top, and Felder beat the fuck out of him on top.

01:05:01.000 Look at these nasty, smashing elbows from the guard.

01:05:04.000 I think this is the last time that Oliveira lost, and if I want to...

01:05:08.000 I want to guess this is 2018. I'm taking a guess.

01:05:12.000 The video that I have here was posted at 21. Yeah, it's not from then.

01:05:16.000 I want to say that fight was 2018. But again, Felder's a fucking monster.

01:05:21.000 But I think he was the last guy to beat Oliveira.

01:05:25.000 I'm not sure about that, though.

01:05:27.000 But who he is right now, though...

01:05:30.000 Right now, that guy is the fucking man.

01:05:32.000 That's who he is.

01:05:33.000 I'm super excited to see him against Gaethje.

01:05:36.000 Yeah.

01:05:37.000 Him against Gaethje, that's a real fucking test.

01:05:39.000 Not that Dustin wasn't a real test, too.

01:05:41.000 But Gaethje is another kind of real test.

01:05:44.000 I'm waiting to see.

01:05:44.000 I want to see.

01:05:45.000 Yeah, Felder's his last loss.

01:05:46.000 So that was 2017. Okay.

01:05:49.000 I want to see the Nunez rematch.

01:05:51.000 Yeah, that's going to be interesting, man.

01:05:53.000 If there was anything that felt like a short bet, It was betting on her, man.

01:05:59.000 I was completely in disbelief.

01:06:02.000 One of the biggest upsets ever, if not the biggest upset.

01:06:04.000 I said it was the greatest upset in the history of combat sports.

01:06:06.000 In the moment, I thought that.

01:06:09.000 And in time, I thought about it.

01:06:11.000 I said, well...

01:06:12.000 All combat sports, you got to go to Buster Douglas versus Mike Tyson.

01:06:16.000 I think that's the biggest upset in the history of combat sports.

01:06:19.000 Or maybe all of sports.

01:06:21.000 Yeah, but when it comes to MMA, Holly Holm against Ronda Rousey was very close, too. 0.96

01:06:28.000 That was close, too.

01:06:29.000 A lot of people thought Ronda was unstoppable.

01:06:31.000 Yeah, I think in the moment, people felt that way.

01:06:34.000 But afterwards, we're looking back on it.

01:06:37.000 But they didn't think that Holly was incompetent.

01:06:40.000 And they didn't think that Juliana was either.

01:06:42.000 But Holly was an eight-time world boxing champion.

01:06:45.000 She was a kickboxing champion.

01:06:46.000 Everybody knew she was a nasty threat on the feet. 1.00

01:06:50.000 Juliana did not have the same sort of credentials in terms of the things that she's won.

01:06:54.000 So everybody knew she was really tough.

01:06:57.000 Everybody knew she wanted that fight. 1.00

01:06:58.000 She was calling for that fight.

01:07:00.000 When nobody wants to fight Amanda Nunes, she beats the fuck out of people. 1.00

01:07:02.000 She knocked out Cyborg in one round. 0.99

01:07:04.000 She didn't look the same.

01:07:06.000 Dude, there's a lot in fights.

01:07:07.000 A lot happens in fights.

01:07:08.000 She looked thinner.

01:07:10.000 She didn't always have that definition.

01:07:13.000 You know what I mean?

01:07:13.000 Well, you've got to realize the last two fights she's been fighting at 45 because she's the champ at 45 and 35. So this is a fight at 35. And you know what, man?

01:07:22.000 She might be experiencing some sort of a mental breakdown.

01:07:27.000 Like she said she checked out mentally.

01:07:28.000 She said she just checked out, which is crazy.

01:07:31.000 But...

01:07:31.000 Sometimes that happens to champions because there's so many people coming to get you all day long.

01:07:37.000 Everyone's coming to get you.

01:07:39.000 Imagine being a guy who's a champ, like an Israel Adesanya, and all day people are just coming to get you.

01:07:44.000 All day.

01:07:45.000 People are talking shit and they want your title.

01:07:47.000 All day.

01:07:48.000 That's your day.

01:07:49.000 Forever.

01:07:50.000 And year after year after year, sometimes I think people just get exhausted by that shit and then they fall apart.

01:07:56.000 That's a possibility.

01:07:58.000 She also could have not trained very hard because she didn't think that Juliana had it in her and she thought she was going to beat Juliana in the first round. 0.99

01:08:05.000 Or you don't have anything in front of you.

01:08:08.000 Everyone's behind you.

01:08:09.000 Everyone's below you.

01:08:10.000 You're not...

01:08:12.000 Maybe you're just putting in work and you don't feel like you're working towards anything.

01:08:15.000 Yeah, you could get overconfident.

01:08:16.000 There's a lot of that and there's also Juliana.

01:08:18.000 She's a fucking animal. 1.00

01:08:20.000 That lady's an animal. 1.00

01:08:21.000 She's so tough.

01:08:23.000 Like she took it to her on the feet, man.

01:08:26.000 She hung out in a phone booth with the greatest knockout artist in the history of the Both bantamweight and featherweight division. 1.00

01:08:35.000 The way she knocked out Chris Cyborg at featherweight, you gotta say, look, this is the greatest female combat sports athlete of all time.

01:08:42.000 And Juliana was in the pocket with her, slugging her, and fucking her up with a jab, too. 1.00

01:08:47.000 That was a big part of that fight.

01:08:49.000 Juliana kept cracking her with that jab. 0.97

01:08:51.000 Just the first time I saw Lungas stumble back, I was like, what the fuck?

01:08:55.000 I know.

01:08:56.000 It was wild.

01:08:57.000 And she got tired.

01:08:58.000 She got really tired in the second round.

01:08:59.000 But you know what?

01:09:00.000 Sometimes a champion like Amanda Nunes needs to have something like that to just get you back on track. 1.00

01:09:06.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:06.000 Well, her next fight's going to...

01:09:08.000 Everyone's tuning in.

01:09:10.000 Another example is George St. Pierre.

01:09:12.000 When George St. Pierre fought Matt Serra, most people thought George St. Pierre was going to burn through Matt Serra.

01:09:16.000 But Matt Serra cracked him in the first round and KO'd him.

01:09:20.000 And George actually tapped to strikes.

01:09:22.000 Which back then it was kind of a ridiculous thing that you should never tap to strikes.

01:09:26.000 But George is an intelligent guy and he knows that he's in real trouble.

01:09:29.000 He's about to go out.

01:09:30.000 He had a tap.

01:09:31.000 Or just go unconscious.

01:09:33.000 But either point, that was a giant upset.

01:09:36.000 And then George became the George we all know after that fight.

01:09:40.000 Because after that fight, he became much more focused and much more disciplined and much more ferocious inside the octagon.

01:09:49.000 It's like he recognized that it could all go away.

01:09:51.000 He's in your GOAT list, right?

01:09:53.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:53.000 He has to be.

01:09:54.000 It's like there's a bunch of them, right?

01:09:56.000 Like you gotta go with Hoist Gracie because he started this shit. 0.90

01:10:00.000 Nobody knew what the fuck fighting was until Hoist came around.

01:10:03.000 We all had these goofy ideas of what fighting was.

01:10:06.000 When you watch that dude wrap his gi around you and drag you to the ground and strangle you with his collar, everybody was like, what?

01:10:13.000 When there were no weight classes.

01:10:14.000 No weight classes.

01:10:15.000 He was fighting gigantic dudes with no rules.

01:10:18.000 Fucking no rules.

01:10:19.000 They were pulling hair.

01:10:20.000 They were punching nuts.

01:10:22.000 You had to watch that shit on the DVD that you bought from the guy that sold you the jackass.

01:10:28.000 You get the movies from Korea, the fighting movies.

01:10:31.000 You have to put Hoist in your Mount Rushmore.

01:10:33.000 If you have a goat list, you have to put Hoist in there somewhere. 0.55

01:10:36.000 He's up there.

01:10:37.000 He's up there.

01:10:38.000 He's the most important figure in the history of martial arts.

01:10:41.000 And then in terms of entertainment value, though, I gotta put the spider in there.

01:10:48.000 Oh yeah, Anderson in his prime?

01:10:50.000 Because obviously before I would watch UFC if it was around.

01:10:58.000 Like if somebody had one of the DVDs.

01:11:00.000 And then when they first started getting on pay-per-view, and I remember being at my boy's house in Boston.

01:11:06.000 And I think this was the year the Red Sox broke the curse.

01:11:09.000 So what was that, 2018?

01:11:11.000 2012?

01:11:12.000 I don't know.

01:11:13.000 No, it had to be way before that.

01:11:14.000 But anyway, and I remember watching him just play with that school teacher.

01:11:20.000 What was his name?

01:11:21.000 Rich Franklin.

01:11:22.000 Rich Franklin.

01:11:22.000 Just play with him.

01:11:23.000 Because he was insulted that they picked him to fight him.

01:11:27.000 I don't think that's true.

01:11:29.000 No?

01:11:29.000 No.

01:11:29.000 He had a very friendly relationship with Rich Franklin.

01:11:33.000 He actually liked Rich Franklin.

01:11:35.000 And at the end of the fight, after Rich Franklin got smashed the second time, Rich Franklin actually said very nice things about him.

01:11:43.000 Like, he's a good man.

01:11:45.000 Don't boo this man.

01:11:47.000 This man is an amazing person.

01:11:49.000 He is.

01:11:49.000 I mean, Rich is an amazing person, right?

01:11:51.000 Yeah, Rich is an amazing person.

01:11:52.000 But I think Anderson and him were friends.

01:11:54.000 Especially towards the second fight.

01:11:56.000 It's just Anderson was so much better than him.

01:11:57.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:11:58.000 He would win in ways where it looked like...

01:12:02.000 He would do stuff you would see in a movie.

01:12:04.000 Yeah.

01:12:05.000 Well, he did an upward elbow.

01:12:07.000 You want to hear this crazy story?

01:12:09.000 There's a crazy thing that he saw in an Ong Bak movie where it's a step forward to the side, upward elbow.

01:12:16.000 And he kept telling people that he was going to knock this dude out with an upward elbow.

01:12:20.000 And it's crazy.

01:12:21.000 His trainer was like, hey, man, you gotta stop fucking around.

01:12:23.000 Like, don't try to do stupid shit like that.

01:12:25.000 Don't train bullshit.

01:12:26.000 Stick to the game plan.

01:12:27.000 You're fighting a tough guy.

01:12:28.000 And so he had his wife hold a pillow at home.

01:12:32.000 So he wouldn't even practice it in front of his coach.

01:12:35.000 So he would go home and have his wife hold a pillow.

01:12:38.000 And Anderson would step in, blap, step in, and blap.

01:12:41.000 Stepping in with this crazy elbow.

01:12:43.000 And then he decided he was going to use it in the fight.

01:12:45.000 Check this out.

01:12:45.000 Watch this.

01:12:47.000 Oh my god.

01:12:49.000 I mean, that's how good Anderson Silva was.

01:12:52.000 What is his trainer saying after that?

01:12:54.000 His trainer probably went, fuck!

01:12:56.000 You know, you only see a guy like that once in a lifetime if you're a coach.

01:13:02.000 And usually it's on the other side.

01:13:03.000 Usually you're facing him.

01:13:05.000 You know, Anderson in his prime.

01:13:07.000 And he came into his prime in that organization, too.

01:13:10.000 That was an organization in England.

01:13:14.000 Was that called Cage Warriors?

01:13:16.000 Cage Rage.

01:13:17.000 Cage Warriors is the new one.

01:13:18.000 There's another organization like that that's like a top-level organization in England.

01:13:22.000 But in Cage Rage, he fought a lot of guys.

01:13:26.000 And he fought Lee Murray, and that was a gigantic fight.

01:13:30.000 Because Lee Murray was that crazy English hoodlum.

01:13:35.000 The hoodlum who robbed the bank.

01:13:37.000 You don't know the story?

01:13:38.000 He was a part of the biggest bank robbery in the history of Great Britain.

01:13:42.000 Oh, wow.

01:13:43.000 It's like some fucking locked stock in two smoking barrels type shit.

01:13:47.000 And they made a movie about it?

01:13:49.000 Well, they're making a movie about it.

01:13:50.000 Guy Ritchie is making a movie about Lee Murray.

01:13:52.000 That's how wild this fucking dude is.

01:13:54.000 He's still in jail right now.

01:13:56.000 I think they stole like $80 million, something crazy like that.

01:14:00.000 But these guys had like full-on tactical gear, fucking machine guns, like the whole thing.

01:14:06.000 UFC fighter Lee Murray, who robbed a bank for $90 million.

01:14:10.000 Wait a minute, so this was...

01:14:12.000 Wait a minute, so he robbed a bank and was fighting in the UFC? He was fighting in the UFC while he was a full-on criminal.

01:14:21.000 I love that shit.

01:14:22.000 I mean, a full-on criminal.

01:14:24.000 That's real outlaw.

01:14:25.000 Like, how can you be...

01:14:27.000 See, that's the kind of shit you were talking about with Jon Jones.

01:14:30.000 Wildness.

01:14:31.000 Where it's like, this isn't enough.

01:14:33.000 This is not enough adrenaline being in the UFC. Well, go to the fight that he had with Anderson because everybody was scared of Lee Murray.

01:14:41.000 Everybody was scared of Lee Murray.

01:14:43.000 Anderson pieced him up.

01:14:47.000 Anderson pieced him up, man.

01:14:49.000 Anderson toyed with him.

01:14:50.000 He played with his food.

01:14:51.000 And this is in the UFC? No, this is in Cage Rage as well.

01:14:55.000 But it was a tough fight because Lee Murray came for blood.

01:14:58.000 And this was in Anderson when he was in his 20s.

01:15:00.000 We gotta realize, like, the Anderson that we got in the UFC, we didn't get him until he was like 33 or 34, I believe, was his first fight.

01:15:06.000 Was he already past his prime when he got to the UFC? No, no, he was riding the very peak of his prime.

01:15:11.000 But I think he came into his prime...

01:15:14.000 In cage wars.

01:15:15.000 In cage rage, rather.

01:15:16.000 Because in cage rage, he fought real tough guys, and there was a big organization in England, but most of the people in America did not know these fights were going on.

01:15:25.000 And he's fighting guys like Jorge Rivera, he's fighting Lee Murray, he's fighting Tony Fricklin, and I forget who else he fought in there, but dude, I'm telling you, Anderson could do it all.

01:15:35.000 He could grapple, he was dangerous off of his back.

01:15:38.000 He was comfortable everywhere.

01:15:40.000 And Lee Murray was an animal.

01:15:42.000 Go a little further in the fight.

01:15:43.000 We see when Anderson starts destroying his legs.

01:15:46.000 So somewhere towards the end of the fight, like the last round, Anderson's like just chewing on his legs.

01:15:55.000 There it is.

01:15:56.000 And he just did that over and over and over again, and Lee was in real trouble.

01:16:00.000 Like, you get into a position like Lee's in right now, where that left leg just doesn't work anymore.

01:16:04.000 Yeah, I'm sure you've gotten kicked in the leg.

01:16:06.000 That shit is no joke.

01:16:08.000 Oh, it's horrible.

01:16:08.000 And to have a guy like Anderson kick you in the leg?

01:16:10.000 Shit.

01:16:11.000 And he's doing it right now, and he just used his Muay Thai.

01:16:15.000 He was a Muay Thai wizard, a technical wizard, and just...

01:16:19.000 Again, these guys that are at the top of the heap, they're so creative, and they're so explosive, and they're so wild.

01:16:27.000 Like, they could take these chances in the heat of a gunfight, and they find these openings.

01:16:32.000 And Anderson used to find them in these spectacular highlight reel ways, like that front kick that he hit Vitor in the face with.

01:16:39.000 Yeah!

01:16:39.000 Like, Jesus!

01:16:41.000 Always, his highlight reel might be like the most entertaining of anyone, right?

01:16:46.000 The knees to Rich Franklin where he just broke his whole face.

01:16:49.000 And the closest thing we saw to that was when Jon Jones started doing that kind of shit.

01:16:52.000 Yes, in a different way.

01:16:53.000 Jon was more, it was a lot of smashing people on the feet, but it was more the wrestling and the destruction once you get a hold of you, whether submissions or ground and pound.

01:17:01.000 Yeah.

01:17:01.000 Very violent like oh, yeah, you could just feel the intentions were like I'm gonna I'll crush your skull.

01:17:07.000 Yeah, yeah, the type of people that Yes, a scary motherfucker.

01:17:12.000 There's a lot of scary motherfuckers in the UFC, but they're nice people Most of them are really nice.

01:17:18.000 Those are the kind of people that you have to apologize to.

01:17:20.000 Yeah, you have to.

01:17:22.000 But most of them, this is what it is.

01:17:26.000 It's an insane sport.

01:17:28.000 How do you deal with that when people have a problem with your commentary and all that?

01:17:32.000 I try to be very fair, always with my commentary, and I'm also very respectful.

01:17:35.000 Like, even if you think that my commentary was biased or one way or another, you'll never think I'm disrespectful.

01:17:41.000 Because I try to, unless someone's doing something dirty.

01:17:45.000 Like, there was a girl in this last fight that was Jillian Robertson. 1.00

01:17:49.000 She was trying to gouge Jillian Robertson's eye out. 1.00

01:17:53.000 Like, she had her in a rear naked choke, and this girl, Koshweta, stuck her fucking thumb deep into her eyeball. 1.00

01:17:59.000 She didn't get caught.

01:18:00.000 We were calling it.

01:18:02.000 She did it twice.

01:18:03.000 She's reaching for it.

01:18:04.000 Like, while she's getting choked, she's trying to find the eye, and then she shoves a thumb in the eye.

01:18:09.000 We played that, right?

01:18:10.000 It's horrible.

01:18:11.000 You want to see it?

01:18:12.000 Yeah.

01:18:13.000 Of course you do.

01:18:13.000 It's horrible.

01:18:14.000 That I'm going to be disrespectful, too.

01:18:16.000 I would just get up and just kick her right in the pussy. 1.00

01:18:18.000 That would be disrespectful, too.

01:18:19.000 Stop cheating.

01:18:19.000 It's not just cheating.

01:18:20.000 You could ruin a person's career.

01:18:22.000 Like, if you scratch their eyeball with your thumbnail, you 100% could ruin their eyesight.

01:18:28.000 You 100% could end their career.

01:18:30.000 You could.

01:18:30.000 Like, they could lose their eyesight.

01:18:32.000 It happens.

01:18:33.000 It's not 100% common, but it's common enough, and there's enough eye injuries where you know that that's unnecessary, and it's also an egregious cheating move that's so obvious.

01:18:46.000 You're letting the whole world see that you're cheating.

01:18:48.000 It's not like you might have accidentally touched someone's eyes because they're coming towards you and you had your hand out, your hand went in there, but it was a total accident.

01:18:55.000 This is not that.

01:18:56.000 This is your digging your thumb.

01:18:58.000 Watch this.

01:18:59.000 Look at her.

01:19:00.000 She reaches up.

01:19:01.000 Watch this.

01:19:02.000 She reaches up, finds the eyeball, and digs her thumb in the eyeball.

01:19:06.000 And that girl just winced her eyes and just choked her harder. 1.00

01:19:09.000 I remember I saw the accidental one, right?

01:19:12.000 It was like Vitor versus Randy Couture, was it?

01:19:15.000 Oh, that was a different thing.

01:19:17.000 That was the cut the eyelid.

01:19:19.000 Oh, okay.

01:19:19.000 Yeah, Vitor hit Randy with a punch and just randomly it sliced across the eyelid.

01:19:25.000 So he couldn't close his eyes.

01:19:27.000 And then he lost the belt off that.

01:19:28.000 Yes.

01:19:28.000 Then he came back and beat him in the rematch.

01:19:30.000 And both of them were upset about it.

01:19:32.000 You don't want to win that way and you don't want...

01:19:35.000 That's why a lot of people are upset with, what is it, Aljermaine Sterling, right?

01:19:38.000 It's because the way you won...

01:19:40.000 Right.

01:19:41.000 But you're celebrating as if you dominated and you won on a humble.

01:19:47.000 Because he was getting fucked up.

01:19:49.000 He wasn't getting fucked up, but he was losing the fight.

01:19:52.000 And he was in a situation where Piotr Jan asked if it was okay.

01:19:57.000 I think he was confused as to what the rules are.

01:20:00.000 If you have one knee down or two...

01:20:01.000 Like, when is it...

01:20:03.000 When is it a downed opponent?

01:20:05.000 Because they've changed the rules a little bit.

01:20:06.000 And in some places you can have one hand down and you're still up.

01:20:12.000 In other places it has to be two hands.

01:20:14.000 If you have two hands down then they can attack you.

01:20:18.000 But if you have one hand up, they can attack you.

01:20:22.000 So if two hands down, you're considered a down opponent, so someone can't knee you in the face.

01:20:26.000 But if you have, in some places, one hand down and one hand up, they can knee you in the face.

01:20:31.000 And I think he was asking whether or not he could, and someone said yes.

01:20:36.000 I think someone in his corner gave him bad advice, and he kneeded him in the face.

01:20:41.000 This is the story.

01:20:42.000 That's the narrative.

01:20:43.000 Whether it's true or not, I don't know.

01:20:45.000 But yeah.

01:20:45.000 And you're right.

01:20:46.000 He wasn't getting fucked up.

01:20:47.000 Don't come for me, Al Jermaine.

01:20:48.000 I love Al Jermaine.

01:20:49.000 But he was losing that fight, for sure.

01:20:52.000 I think he was losing.

01:20:52.000 And why hasn't the rematch happened yet?

01:20:54.000 Well, because Al Jermaine had to get neck surgery.

01:20:57.000 Aljamain had to get a disc replaced in his spine.

01:20:59.000 It's a serious fucking injury, and I tried to get him to avoid it, and I actually sent him to my doctor because I had had an issue with my discs as well in the past, and they can do some stuff with Regenikine and with stem cells and reduce inflammation and maybe whatever bulging disc issue you have might be able to go away,

01:21:21.000 but The problem is that these guys, they train so hard and so often that for them to take a long time off to let something heal, they're not that inclined to do that.

01:21:33.000 And apparently it was bad enough that they decided to go ahead and...

01:21:37.000 There's a couple guys in the UFC that have had that done, where they have fake discs.

01:21:43.000 I know one guy had them in his back and his neck.

01:21:45.000 Yeah, there's no way.

01:21:46.000 There's no way I keep fighting.

01:21:48.000 They love it, man.

01:21:49.000 It's the most exciting thing in the world to them, and that's what they're the best at.

01:21:54.000 Are there ever...

01:21:56.000 So, comparing it to what we were talking about with comedy, do you think...

01:22:01.000 Because there's people that are like, they're built like that up here.

01:22:04.000 They love to fight.

01:22:06.000 They do it for free.

01:22:07.000 Or they do it for cheap.

01:22:08.000 And then there's people that are...

01:22:09.000 Do you ever come across fighters where it's like, You're good at this, but you don't have it.

01:22:16.000 You're not this.

01:22:17.000 Well, those guys find out.

01:22:18.000 They find out as time goes on.

01:22:20.000 Generally, they quit.

01:22:21.000 But sometimes you think they're going to be like that, and then they figure it out.

01:22:24.000 Like Charles Oliveira.

01:22:25.000 Charles Oliveira used to be fights where it looked like he fell apart.

01:22:30.000 But that's not the case anymore.

01:22:32.000 He figured it out.

01:22:32.000 So you can never tell someone...

01:22:34.000 The only time you should tell someone it's over is when they've taken too many knockouts.

01:22:39.000 And they're losing their ability to take a punch.

01:22:42.000 And they're realizing...

01:22:44.000 And also, if they're kind of in it just for a paycheck...

01:22:47.000 Dana White actually just accused Nick Diaz of that.

01:22:50.000 He said he doesn't want...

01:22:51.000 He goes, Nick is a great fighter, but he doesn't want to fight.

01:22:53.000 Like, I don't want him to fight because he's fighting as a job.

01:22:56.000 He's not fighting because he wants to fight.

01:22:58.000 Give him a pension.

01:23:00.000 Isn't that funny?

01:23:01.000 Yeah, get a fight.

01:23:02.000 Because man, I'm going to tell you something about the fighters and stuff.

01:23:05.000 For me, it's heartbreaking when you find out that like, you know, because that's a hell of a choice to make with your life.

01:23:14.000 Right?

01:23:15.000 Because even if you're really, really good, you may never make it to the top.

01:23:19.000 Right.

01:23:20.000 And to watch some of these people that have like sacrificed their bodies and their wits and And they can't bend down and play with their kids.

01:23:30.000 And to just watch them struggling financially.

01:23:32.000 Or to watch them taking those kind of fights where it's like it was over a long time ago but they can't afford to stop.

01:23:38.000 Do you think that they should set up a pension for fighters just automatically once they become part of the UFC? Like you take a percentage and maybe the UFC meets that percentage and they set something aside for every fighter?

01:23:52.000 Yeah.

01:23:52.000 Yeah, it's gotta be.

01:23:53.000 They've got to.

01:23:54.000 Like, here's the thing.

01:23:56.000 People say, well, you should be able to plan your life out after fighting.

01:23:59.000 Oh, yes.

01:24:01.000 Agreed.

01:24:01.000 You're in charge of your own life.

01:24:03.000 However, you really can't do a lot while you're fighting.

01:24:08.000 Because it's so hard.

01:24:09.000 The amount of training that's involved in, like, say if you're a Henry Cejudo, who's not just an Olympic medalist, but a two-division champion in the UFC, just a fucking savage of a man.

01:24:21.000 The way that guy trains, there's not a lot of time to start a business.

01:24:25.000 There's not a lot of time to get together a bunch of investors for a startup.

01:24:30.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:24:31.000 That's not happening.

01:24:32.000 And whenever people are against...

01:24:34.000 Because I'm not just talking about fighting, too.

01:24:36.000 I'm talking about football and basketball and all these other things.

01:24:38.000 Whenever people are against the athletes, they always talk about the millionaires, like the top.

01:24:43.000 But most of the people in the UFC are not millionaires.

01:24:47.000 Right.

01:24:47.000 And they don't, you know, it's like maybe the top, top guys can go into announcing or commentating or even start a podcast or whatever.

01:24:54.000 But there's people, the vast majority of the roster, they don't have that option.

01:24:59.000 Right.

01:24:59.000 Well, you start making money when people are paying to see you.

01:25:02.000 Yeah.

01:25:03.000 And you don't even get points unless you headlining or it's a championship, right?

01:25:07.000 Mm-hmm.

01:25:07.000 So it's like, what percentage of the fighters are the top of the card?

01:25:11.000 I mean, it's not...

01:25:13.000 It's not realistic for you to expect everybody to have something else because you can't be the champ You can't be going after a goal like that and have another thing you can't know you kid what I'm saying is like if you had a Safety net so if there's some sort of a pension that gave you a safety net So at least when you got out you had a year or two to figure out what you could do and then you start reviewing your options But you know your bills are paid for a while So you don't have to,

01:25:39.000 like, immediately panic and try to figure your life out.

01:25:42.000 And there's the other problem that fighters have is that being a fighter, it also becomes a part of their identity, and they don't want to let it go.

01:25:50.000 Like, that's a big part of their identity is that they're a fighter.

01:25:53.000 And so when they stop being a fighter, they kind of don't know who they are for a while.

01:25:58.000 Schaub talks about that, that he kind of was still connected to this identity for a while.

01:26:03.000 He's completely abandoned it now, and he's way happier.

01:26:06.000 But before, it was a part of the way he was looking at it.

01:26:09.000 He was looking at himself like this is his identity.

01:26:11.000 Yeah.

01:26:12.000 I deal with that with a lot of veterans, too, where it's like your identity is one thing and now it's completely gone.

01:26:18.000 Right.

01:26:18.000 And how do you identify?

01:26:20.000 Yeah.

01:26:21.000 That's tough to do with any—make that lifestyle transition.

01:26:25.000 Well, in both things, you know, obviously for different reasons, both things are insanely...

01:26:31.000 There's a lot of action.

01:26:33.000 There's a lot happening, right?

01:26:35.000 If you're a soldier, that's an incredibly intense job.

01:26:39.000 If you're deployed in combat, I've never experienced it, but by all accounts, it is a wild, fucking crazy experience to be in a gunfight.

01:26:49.000 And then to go back to regular life for some folks is very hard.

01:26:52.000 And some folks actually would rather be in action than they would be at home.

01:26:58.000 Or at least in theater.

01:26:59.000 Yes.

01:27:00.000 Right.

01:27:00.000 At least somewhere around it.

01:27:02.000 And it's also there's a camaraderie that they experience with fellow soldiers that's missing from so much of our society.

01:27:10.000 The intense bond that people have when they do things together like that.

01:27:17.000 You can't replace it.

01:27:19.000 And it doesn't even have to be as intense as a gunfight.

01:27:23.000 I was not in no gunfights.

01:27:26.000 But if you suffer with someone else, suffering is how men bond, anyway.

01:27:32.000 If we suffer together and we make it through some bullshit, we're friends.

01:27:39.000 It's forever.

01:27:40.000 At least it's very strong.

01:27:42.000 Yeah.

01:27:45.000 To this day, I served, what, 15 years ago?

01:27:49.000 And to this day, every year on the Marine Corps birthday, we have a group phone call and take a shot and reminisce.

01:27:55.000 That's nice.

01:27:56.000 And those are the only people from my past.

01:27:59.000 Those are the only friends from my past that aren't...

01:28:04.000 You don't get that shit if you used to work at Xerox.

01:28:06.000 Right.

01:28:06.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:28:07.000 Exactly.

01:28:07.000 Nobody's like, bro, we did the fucking time in Xerox together.

01:28:11.000 My brother is to the end.

01:28:14.000 Xerox!

01:28:15.000 Because it's always like, hey, remember that time we almost died?

01:28:18.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:28:20.000 Yeah, that's a whole other thing.

01:28:21.000 Yeah, there's things that fight teams have similar sort of friendships and rivalries.

01:28:27.000 And then when guys are trained together, then go on to hate each other.

01:28:31.000 My God, they hate each other.

01:28:32.000 More than ex-wives, more than anybody.

01:28:35.000 Because there's a betrayal of that bond.

01:28:38.000 Now that person's a traitor.

01:28:40.000 Now they have to suffer.

01:28:41.000 That happens.

01:28:42.000 Guys, that's such a classic fucking trope in mankind.

01:28:46.000 You know, the people are close, then the person rejects the person that's close and lashes out at them, and then there's a fight and some sort of a struggle.

01:28:55.000 People's lack of ability to work things out is always pretty fucking astounding.

01:28:59.000 We had a guy in our group that he told everyone he was dying.

01:29:03.000 Oh no.

01:29:05.000 Yeah.

01:29:06.000 And so we normally, you know, we lose contact, we lose touch.

01:29:09.000 We still get together, try to get together for the call, but this was the middle of the year and he told everyone he was dying.

01:29:15.000 And so everybody's connecting again.

01:29:17.000 We all come together on this group chat.

01:29:20.000 Reminiscing and telling him we love him and all this other shit.

01:29:24.000 And he was supposed to be doing the state-assisted suicide.

01:29:30.000 In Oregon, you can do that.

01:29:31.000 Oh, boy.

01:29:32.000 Yeah.

01:29:33.000 And so we thought he was dying the next day.

01:29:38.000 You know, and we were supposed to get contacted by his family, you know, for arrangements and all that sort of shit.

01:29:45.000 And so, like, two, three weeks go by, and I keep going, like, hey man, did you talk to such and such?

01:29:52.000 Like, yeah, I just saw him on Facebook.

01:29:55.000 Like, what?

01:29:56.000 So, you know, slowly everyone starts realizing he's still alive.

01:29:59.000 It's weird to be upset that a friend of yours is not dead, but in this situation, it was like, what the fuck was all that about?

01:30:05.000 Like, it was all bullshit.

01:30:07.000 Do you talk about this on stage?

01:30:08.000 No, not yet.

01:30:09.000 You got some new material, my friend.

01:30:11.000 You think so?

01:30:12.000 Fuck yeah! 0.99

01:30:13.000 With your style of comedy, this is 100% a great bit.

01:30:16.000 Yeah, I'm a...

01:30:17.000 Bro, write that down.

01:30:19.000 There's something very funny.

01:30:20.000 I never thought about to try it on stage.

01:30:21.000 You have to.

01:30:22.000 There's something very funny in someone pretending that they're gonna die, and then you wait, and they haven't died, and you're like, what the fuck, and you actually get upset?

01:30:31.000 Yeah, he's still alive.

01:30:35.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:30:37.000 What did he say was wrong?

01:30:39.000 He said that it was something wrong.

01:30:42.000 He said he had whatever the last stage of cancer is.

01:30:45.000 Is it stage four?

01:30:46.000 I think so, yeah.

01:30:47.000 He had stage four cancer in his stomach or his pancreas or something, and it had already moved to his lymph nodes.

01:30:53.000 So it was inevitable.

01:30:55.000 So none as true?

01:30:56.000 Well, he's still alive.

01:30:57.000 I mean, he said it was terminal.

01:30:59.000 How long ago was this?

01:30:59.000 Which is why the state would let him try to kill himself.

01:31:02.000 Oh.

01:31:02.000 So this was maybe...

01:31:06.000 This was right before the lockdown.

01:31:08.000 This was like maybe January or February.

01:31:09.000 He might have cancer.

01:31:10.000 Sometimes they're wrong about that.

01:31:12.000 Like sometimes they think someone's only going to last a month and they last a few years.

01:31:16.000 Yeah, but here's the thing though, Joe.

01:31:18.000 You don't call all your friends and go, I'm dying tomorrow.

01:31:21.000 I'm choosing to go out on my own terms.

01:31:22.000 I'm dying tomorrow.

01:31:23.000 In fact, I'm drinking the first part of the drink right now.

01:31:28.000 I love y'all.

01:31:29.000 Oh, the first part of the suicide drink?

01:31:31.000 Right, so there's a two-piece, I think there's a two-piece drink.

01:31:33.000 And then you do assisted suicide?

01:31:35.000 No, no, no, that's what it is.

01:31:37.000 That's the suicide.

01:31:38.000 I'm sorry, I'm getting confused with, there's a pod that they do now.

01:31:42.000 Oh, in Oregon?

01:31:43.000 No, is it in Oregon?

01:31:44.000 I think it's in like another country.

01:31:45.000 Oh, you're talking about in Sweden or Switzerland.

01:31:46.000 You see that shit?

01:31:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:47.000 The suicide pod?

01:31:48.000 Yeah, the thing they fucking got on Dr. Kevorkian about.

01:31:51.000 But they basically have like, does it...

01:31:53.000 Does it poison you?

01:31:54.000 The pod poison you?

01:31:55.000 Or is it like a place where you rot?

01:31:57.000 Like it's built into coffin?

01:31:58.000 Doesn't it just replace the gases until you pass out?

01:32:01.000 Is that what it does?

01:32:02.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:32:04.000 But I don't know.

01:32:06.000 The problem with that is that people kill people.

01:32:09.000 That's the problem with that.

01:32:11.000 It's like, you know, that's the problem.

01:32:13.000 Because if people wanted to just end their life, like if someone's in horrible agony and suffering, it's the last days of their life, they've lived a long life, and they've been dying of this very painful disease, who are we to stop them from doing that?

01:32:26.000 That's what I say.

01:32:27.000 But, okay, creator of Suicide Pop wants you to make body implant that would kill you if you forget to deactivate it.

01:32:34.000 Oh my god, this guy's crazy.

01:32:36.000 Holy shit, like you gotta solve a puzzle to live?

01:32:41.000 That's funny as shit.

01:32:42.000 Well, you know, Kevorkian was really wild, too.

01:32:44.000 He was a crazy person.

01:32:45.000 Like, he wasn't just a guy who was helping people.

01:32:49.000 He was also drawing really twisted images.

01:32:53.000 So I was a kid when all of that happened.

01:32:55.000 Did you ever see his artwork?

01:32:56.000 No.

01:32:57.000 When people saw his artwork, they were like, hold the fuck up.

01:33:02.000 Because it wasn't as simple as, he's a compassionate man, and he's helping these people.

01:33:08.000 And I agree with all that, that you should be able to do that.

01:33:11.000 You most certainly should be able to end your life if you're in agony.

01:33:14.000 And why do we do that to dogs, and we won't do that to a loved one?

01:33:19.000 The problem is that people kill people.

01:33:20.000 Like, look at his drawings.

01:33:22.000 Oh, that's kind of dope.

01:33:23.000 Yeah.

01:33:24.000 So this one is like a demon or a soul clawing.

01:33:28.000 I guess it's a person, because look, those fingers are that their fingers are shredded off down to the tips of the bone, and they're being dragged into this hellscape basement.

01:33:38.000 And it says, the doctor is in.

01:33:41.000 That's kind of fired up.

01:33:42.000 The Art of Dr. Kevorkian.

01:33:43.000 But a lot of his stuff was like that.

01:33:45.000 A lot of his stuff was almost like that.

01:33:46.000 Oh, like morbid?

01:33:47.000 Oh, wow.

01:33:48.000 Like that.

01:33:48.000 So here's one where there's a Roman where the guy has his head cut off on a plate with an apple in his mouth and the Roman is like holding up the arm that has the sword.

01:34:00.000 So it's like he's got some twisted shit in there.

01:34:05.000 Is that...

01:34:06.000 Is that a jack-in-the-box fries?

01:34:10.000 No, no.

01:34:10.000 It's crosses in one bowl, and in the other bowl is bullets.

01:34:14.000 Oh, okay.

01:34:15.000 That's what's there.

01:34:15.000 It's not just crosses.

01:34:16.000 What is it?

01:34:17.000 There's also stars in the...

01:34:19.000 Whatever that thing is.

01:34:21.000 Star of David?

01:34:22.000 No, it's a triangle.

01:34:23.000 Yeah, right.

01:34:23.000 It's a triangle.

01:34:24.000 What is that?

01:34:26.000 That's a Nazi cross, too.

01:34:29.000 That's just like a star.

01:34:30.000 Oh, it is a Star of David.

01:34:31.000 I see.

01:34:32.000 It's got the part behind it that I'm confused on.

01:34:34.000 And then look, the salt and pepper shakers are missiles. 0.99

01:34:37.000 But the idea that this is the guy that's helping people kill themselves, and his art is like a guy with his head cut off with an apple stuffed in his mouth.

01:34:45.000 How much did that say at the bottom?

01:34:46.000 Is it for sale?

01:34:48.000 No, yeah, the one we were just looking at.

01:34:51.000 Did it say $1,200?

01:34:53.000 That one.

01:34:54.000 Yeah, how much is that?

01:34:56.000 1100?

01:34:57.000 Oh, that's not the original.

01:34:59.000 Still, we should get one for the house.

01:35:02.000 We should definitely have one of those for the studio.

01:35:05.000 Let's find one that's not too evil.

01:35:07.000 But a lot of them were very evil looking.

01:35:10.000 Look at this.

01:35:12.000 A Chinese Communist Party band on this one guy's wrist, and the other guy's wrist is a Nazi band, and they're holding up a person's head. 0.58

01:35:22.000 He had some wild, dark shit.

01:35:25.000 This is like cartoony.

01:35:26.000 It's like darker than Adult Swim.

01:35:28.000 You ever see those psychedelic things Adult Swim does?

01:35:30.000 Yeah, now look at him there.

01:35:32.000 Imagine this is the guy who says, your grandmother wanted to die.

01:35:35.000 She asked me to do it.

01:35:37.000 I didn't want to do it.

01:35:38.000 I'd rather your grandmother live forever.

01:35:40.000 But let's be honest, no one's going to live forever, Brian.

01:35:43.000 Is that how he sounded?

01:35:44.000 I don't know how he sounded.

01:35:45.000 But I mean, his art freaked me out.

01:35:47.000 His art changed the way I thought about his whole pursuit.

01:35:50.000 Like this pursuit that he has of helping people kill themselves.

01:35:54.000 Not that I think it's a bad thing.

01:35:56.000 I don't.

01:35:57.000 But I started thinking about him like, oh, well, what kind of guy does that?

01:36:00.000 I mean, especially in the 90s, of course, this definitely, because he got convicted, right?

01:36:05.000 Yeah, I think he went to jail for it.

01:36:08.000 Well, he ironically didn't kill himself.

01:36:12.000 That is kind of ironic.

01:36:13.000 Yeah, put your money where your mouth is.

01:36:16.000 I think he wanted to get out and he wanted to keep arguing that this was a...

01:36:23.000 I'm all about it.

01:36:24.000 I mean, people die...

01:36:25.000 I just read some shit the other day where more people die in hospitals than on airlines.

01:36:34.000 You're more likely to die if you go to the hospital healthy than you are to die in a plane crash.

01:36:42.000 Well, what does that mean healthy?

01:36:43.000 If you're healthy, why are you at the hospital?

01:36:45.000 No, I mean, if you're not going in there for something that's already killing you.

01:36:49.000 Okay.

01:36:50.000 So, like, maybe infections?

01:36:51.000 Like, not an emergency room situation.

01:36:53.000 So, do you mean accidents?

01:36:55.000 Or do you mean, like, people make mistakes?

01:36:57.000 From, like, medical malpractice and shit like that.

01:36:59.000 Yeah, mistakes.

01:37:00.000 Definitely a lot of that.

01:37:01.000 You know, there's also a lot of doctors that are really overworked.

01:37:04.000 You know, like, when they're in their residency.

01:37:06.000 There's a lot of doctors that are psychopaths, too.

01:37:08.000 You think so?

01:37:09.000 Oh, yeah.

01:37:11.000 There's a book called...

01:37:13.000 Oh God, what is it?

01:37:14.000 Dead Doctors...

01:37:16.000 Fuck, what is the name of the book?

01:37:19.000 If you have any friends that are like surgeons or anything...

01:37:21.000 Dead Doctors Don't Lie?

01:37:22.000 Is that it?

01:37:23.000 Joel Wallach?

01:37:26.000 The book is basically about...

01:37:28.000 Is that it?

01:37:30.000 Yeah.

01:37:30.000 Goddamn.

01:37:31.000 So the book is about minerals, mostly.

01:37:34.000 It's about mineral supplementation and how important it is because we do it for livestock, but we don't do it with humans.

01:37:41.000 And so he rattles off a list of all these different conditions that are caused by mineral deficiencies.

01:37:46.000 And how many of us have minerally deficient diets?

01:37:49.000 Because the topsoil of American farmlands has been minerally deficient for a long fucking time.

01:37:55.000 In a lot of places, they have to supplement it.

01:37:57.000 So they pour different kinds of fertilizers and different things on the topsoil to help it grow food in it.

01:38:02.000 But you're not supposed to grow corn in the same spot year after year for fucking decades.

01:38:06.000 It's just not wise.

01:38:09.000 It's not how the world works.

01:38:10.000 The world doesn't work on monocross.

01:38:11.000 The world works on ecosystems where all the plants and all the animals, the animals shit and the plants drop their fruit and all of it works together.

01:38:20.000 It's supposed to all switch up.

01:38:22.000 Exactly.

01:38:23.000 But these monocrop agriculture places where they, what was my point?

01:38:30.000 What the fuck was my point?

01:38:32.000 Were we just- we're talking about- More likely to die in a hospital?

01:38:36.000 Oh.

01:38:36.000 Joel Wallach, that's right.

01:38:38.000 So Joel- I was like, God, I went circular with this.

01:38:41.000 Joel Wallach's book, one of the things that was about how many doctors die of overdoses.

01:38:45.000 They prescribe themselves cocaine and they're supposed to do a fucking- he was talking about guys who were supposed to do surgeries and they'd find them dead in a storage room because they shot up and overdosed.

01:38:55.000 Like, they can get a hold of drugs, and a lot of them, they use drugs to stay awake, and they use drugs to go to sleep, and they're, a lot of them are just, they're just people.

01:39:04.000 Just like, you know, if you get a hundred people in a room, one of them's gonna have a problem with pills, right?

01:39:08.000 There's a million doctors.

01:39:10.000 And it's so easy to go from I can totally handle this to my shits out of control.

01:39:16.000 So what he was basically saying is that most doctors, especially general practitioners, have very little knowledge when it comes to nutrition and what's the latest science.

01:39:26.000 Even the people that are at the top of the food chain, no pun intended, when it comes to nutrition, they have debates.

01:39:34.000 Over what's the proper diet or what's the healthiest way to do it?

01:39:37.000 Should you do this way or that way?

01:39:39.000 Should you fast or not fast?

01:39:40.000 There's a lot of debate when it comes to that stuff.

01:39:42.000 So these are amongst the people that are studying it.

01:39:45.000 This is honest experts trying to figure out what's correct.

01:39:50.000 The average doctor spends about eight hours on nutrition, apparently, is what I've read, in med school.

01:39:56.000 Yeah, they don't know shit.

01:39:57.000 Unless you're studying that as a specialty, that's not what you focus on.

01:40:00.000 So when they start talking about the body, they're talking about what's wrong and can they fix it if they're a surgeon or can they give you a drug if they're not a surgeon?

01:40:10.000 Or can I send you to someone who's going to fix it?

01:40:13.000 What's wrong with you?

01:40:14.000 Not how did it get there.

01:40:16.000 Not what's wrong with your body that this is happening.

01:40:19.000 Not, like, what's your nutrition like?

01:40:21.000 What's the vitamin and nutrient balance of your blood?

01:40:24.000 Let's look at your hormone profile. 1.00

01:40:26.000 Let's see if you're metabolically healthy.

01:40:28.000 They don't do that.

01:40:29.000 Let me ask you something.

01:40:29.000 That's this book.

01:40:30.000 This book is basically about that, talking about supplementation.

01:40:33.000 Do you think that if we were...

01:40:36.000 If we were a healthier society, that it would necessarily be better, like an overall effect on society?

01:40:43.000 Yes.

01:40:44.000 Yes.

01:40:44.000 When people are healthier, they're nicer.

01:40:46.000 When people are healthier, they're more productive.

01:40:48.000 When people are healthier, they contribute.

01:40:49.000 When people are healthier, they feel better.

01:40:51.000 If you get a group of friends, and I hate to simplify this again, but if you get a group of 10 friends, and all those 10 friends eat well, and they exercise, and they meditate, and they try to keep their shit together, and they do their best to be a good person every day, you got a good group of people.

01:41:06.000 That's great.

01:41:06.000 You gotta think of the entire country as a giant group of people.

01:41:10.000 The more we can have people like that, that are living healthy, just trying to be nice, just trying to do their thing, the more we have a better country.

01:41:17.000 Just like if you have five friends that have their shit together and they're really cool and they're real friendly and they're real happy for you and they're supportive, and then you have one who's just a selfish, crazy person.

01:41:27.000 All my fat friends are sneaky fucks.

01:41:31.000 No, I'm just kidding.

01:41:33.000 They're all untrustworthy.

01:41:35.000 No, you're right.

01:41:37.000 But you know what I'm saying?

01:41:38.000 Yeah, when I feel healthier, I'm nicer.

01:41:42.000 It's better for you.

01:41:43.000 Yeah.

01:41:43.000 Yeah, you're functioning better.

01:41:44.000 I mean, you can get by, but also...

01:41:47.000 There's certain brilliance to unhealthiness.

01:41:50.000 There's certain people that don't give a fuck about their health, and they're indulgent, and they smoke a lot, and they drink a lot, and they do coke, and they get wild, and they say funny fucking shit.

01:42:01.000 They're really good comics.

01:42:03.000 They're really good comics.

01:42:04.000 And they work hard at it.

01:42:05.000 They're high all the time.

01:42:06.000 They work hard at it.

01:42:07.000 Because there is a balance, right?

01:42:09.000 Because you can't be...

01:42:11.000 You gotta have your days where you just indulge, right?

01:42:13.000 Yeah.

01:42:13.000 I think for an entertainer, you've got to understand wild fun.

01:42:20.000 You've got to understand real laughs.

01:42:23.000 You've got to understand freedom.

01:42:25.000 The freedom of being yourself around your friends and you're all just laughing and talking mad shit to each other.

01:42:31.000 That helps us.

01:42:33.000 It's the best.

01:42:34.000 It's the best.

01:42:34.000 But it helps us.

01:42:35.000 Like, when we have these green room sessions, we're all fucking around, talking shit about each other.

01:42:40.000 That helps everybody.

01:42:41.000 It makes you so happy.

01:42:43.000 It's so fun.

01:42:44.000 Because a comic is about to say the funniest shit when they go, I love the guy to death, but...

01:42:49.000 But...

01:42:50.000 But boom! 0.82

01:42:54.000 Yeah, whenever somebody stops me, they go, bro, I love you to death, but they about to fucking burn you good.

01:42:58.000 I'm not saying that you can't do that if you're sober.

01:43:01.000 You certainly can.

01:43:02.000 But I'm saying that there's a lot of funny shit that's been said while people are drunk.

01:43:05.000 And to discount that seems silly to me.

01:43:08.000 I think it's all about a big picture approach.

01:43:11.000 And for me, like, I am, obviously, I work out a lot.

01:43:16.000 It's a big part of my life.

01:43:17.000 I work out every day, almost.

01:43:19.000 I do something.

01:43:20.000 You know?

01:43:21.000 And I try to keep myself healthy because I know I have this commitment to it.

01:43:25.000 But I like to get high.

01:43:26.000 I like to have a couple of whiskeys in me.

01:43:28.000 I like to go on stage just a little high.

01:43:30.000 Talk some shit.

01:43:31.000 It's fun.

01:43:32.000 It's a part of what makes the art form fun.

01:43:36.000 And I think there's something that comes out of those states of mind that you get to.

01:43:40.000 You can get there on your own.

01:43:41.000 I've had some great shows with Completely Sober.

01:43:45.000 But I think there's something about comedy that lends itself to altered states of consciousness.

01:43:50.000 When I'm killing, because you know that feeling, because obviously I think people throw that shit around too much, but killing isn't something that happens every day, even the best.

01:43:59.000 You know what I'm talking about, just destroy.

01:44:02.000 That feeling, that only happens when you're having fun and when you're When you're in the zone, when you're in a state of conscience, when you're fearless and having fun, and sometimes you find a way to cheat your way there.

01:44:18.000 You get a little cocaine.

01:44:19.000 Yeah, a little something.

01:44:21.000 The problem was when people overdo it, they go too far, they get too drunk, they get too high, and they get the balance wrong.

01:44:32.000 It's tricky because there's no one to tell you, right?

01:44:36.000 Getting drunk and getting high is a lot like doing comedy and no one teaches you how to do it.

01:44:42.000 Especially the real talented dudes because a lot of times what happens is...

01:44:47.000 Because I have friends like this where it's like they're so talented that they'll get a third, fourth, fifth chance at a bite at the apple.

01:44:57.000 You know what I mean?

01:44:57.000 Where it's like, what did you do?

01:44:59.000 You came to the set drunk and cursed out the executive?

01:45:04.000 And they go to rehab or something and they go, but he's so fucking funny.

01:45:07.000 That's the Robert Downey Jr.'s of the world.

01:45:09.000 Exactly.

01:45:09.000 But he cashed in on his comeback.

01:45:11.000 I mean, Jesus.

01:45:11.000 Well, he's a different human now.

01:45:13.000 He's a fascinating human.

01:45:15.000 I really like him.

01:45:16.000 You ever had him on?

01:45:17.000 Yeah, I've had him on.

01:45:18.000 I've had conversations with him, like in real world conversations.

01:45:22.000 I like him a lot.

01:45:23.000 He's a very smart person, and he's a guy who turned his life around.

01:45:27.000 He realized he had a serious addiction problem, and, you know, that could happen to anybody.

01:45:32.000 Well, that's what's wrong with a lot of these stars is, to them, it's like a PR move.

01:45:36.000 They fuck up, and then they go away for like two months, and they come back.

01:45:41.000 I'm renewed.

01:45:42.000 But he just, he disappeared to the point where people stop talking about him.

01:45:45.000 Well, he went to jail.

01:45:46.000 And then he came back and then...

01:45:48.000 He was in jail.

01:45:48.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

01:45:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:45:49.000 Robert Downey Jr. was in jail.

01:45:52.000 So he got out of jail and then got the Iron Man role?

01:45:54.000 He got out of jail and just lit the fucking world on fire.

01:45:57.000 Yeah, because he smoked that Iron Man role.

01:45:59.000 He smokes everything.

01:46:00.000 He's an animal.

01:46:01.000 He's an animal.

01:46:02.000 He's so focused.

01:46:03.000 But you believe him as Tony Stark.

01:46:05.000 You believe he's smarter than everybody.

01:46:07.000 Because even the way he talks to Bruce Banner, he realizes Bruce Banner is just as smart as him.

01:46:12.000 It's like a level of understanding that they have with each other.

01:46:16.000 When he talks to Banner, he realizes this guy's a genius too.

01:46:20.000 The role he plays is so smooth.

01:46:23.000 You believe him.

01:46:24.000 It couldn't have been anybody.

01:46:25.000 No!

01:46:25.000 There can't be another Iron Man.

01:46:26.000 No!

01:46:27.000 No fucking chance.

01:46:28.000 You could switch your Spider-Mans all day long.

01:46:30.000 You want to switch your Spider-Mans?

01:46:32.000 Okay.

01:46:33.000 You can't switch the Iron Man.

01:46:34.000 Not anymore.

01:46:35.000 No.

01:46:35.000 Uh-uh.

01:46:35.000 He owns that now.

01:46:36.000 They're going through that debate right now with Chadwick Boseman.

01:46:40.000 Yeah, that's a hard one.

01:46:42.000 Because they're like, do you reek?

01:46:44.000 Because they were saying he would want...

01:46:47.000 Them to recast it.

01:46:49.000 I think he would because he fought so hard to have Black Panther made.

01:46:53.000 Right.

01:46:53.000 That was a series that they were trying to make that for over a decade.

01:46:58.000 It was a long, long time coming before they ever actually got that made.

01:47:02.000 And it was this massive success.

01:47:04.000 And then have it be a massive success with him and Michael B. Jordan in the lead roles and as the villain role.

01:47:10.000 Yeah.

01:47:10.000 It was amazing.

01:47:11.000 It was good.

01:47:12.000 It's a fucking amazing superhero movie, and historically, it's a very important superhero movie, right?

01:47:17.000 Yeah, because there's always this attitude that a black-led movie won't do well overseas.

01:47:22.000 It's almost entirely black. 0.94

01:47:24.000 I mean, all the heroes, all the villains, so much of the cast, so much of the village, so much of what drives the story.

01:47:33.000 Yeah, there was maybe like three white guys in the movie that were integral.

01:47:36.000 They were cool though.

01:47:38.000 The point is, it doesn't matter.

01:47:43.000 Now it doesn't, yeah.

01:47:46.000 Well, it's like if you just have it good, people want to see good.

01:47:49.000 They just want to see good.

01:47:50.000 It doesn't matter if it's all white people or black people or all women, as long as it's good.

01:47:57.000 And the beautiful thing about that was it was all black people and it was good.

01:48:01.000 And it was a huge success.

01:48:03.000 And so having it, his feeling, I'm sure, would be he would probably want it to go on.

01:48:10.000 But who would want to take that spot?

01:48:12.000 I had to see the first one twice because I missed the first 11 minutes because I'm one of my bitch-ass roommates. 1.00

01:48:19.000 Damn.

01:48:21.000 That's the worst.

01:48:21.000 You walk into a movie and it's already going.

01:48:23.000 I don't like being late.

01:48:24.000 I'm almost always early, if not on time.

01:48:29.000 Especially these situations where, because there's people that don't give a fuck about being on time.

01:48:33.000 This is one of my pet peeves.

01:48:35.000 And I was ready to leave on time.

01:48:39.000 And then this motherfucker invited himself, and I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, sure.

01:48:43.000 And then he was late.

01:48:44.000 And then invited everybody else.

01:48:45.000 Right.

01:48:46.000 And I was going to walk, but he's going to drive.

01:48:48.000 So he's like, well, we don't have to leave right now if we're going to drive.

01:48:50.000 And then he made us fucking late.

01:48:52.000 And the whole way people are making you late, they start talking about the previews.

01:48:55.000 Oh, well, it was previews.

01:48:56.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:48:57.000 Maybe I want to see those, too.

01:48:58.000 I want to see the last preview and the movie start.

01:49:01.000 I want to see the beginning.

01:49:03.000 So anyway, I got robbed of that.

01:49:06.000 I love when people watch superhero movies and they try to say it's unrealistic.

01:49:10.000 Like, where is that city?

01:49:11.000 How is it hidden?

01:49:12.000 How come nobody knows about it?

01:49:14.000 How did they develop all this technology?

01:49:16.000 They just decided, like, shut the fuck up.

01:49:18.000 Does Iron Man make sense?

01:49:19.000 How about Batman?

01:49:21.000 Batman's a rich guy.

01:49:22.000 That's all he is.

01:49:23.000 He's dressed as a bat.

01:49:24.000 He's a rich guy.

01:49:25.000 I don't have a problem doing stuff by myself in public.

01:49:30.000 I'll go to the movies alone.

01:49:32.000 I'll go to the movies alone on the road.

01:49:34.000 Oh yeah, I'll do that all the time.

01:49:35.000 Yeah, if I'm on the road.

01:49:36.000 Nah, even if I'm here.

01:49:37.000 It's a select group I can watch a movie with.

01:49:39.000 But if you have a middle act that you like, don't you want to take them to the movies with you?

01:49:42.000 No.

01:49:43.000 Wow.

01:49:43.000 Well, I mean, I'm just now...

01:49:44.000 Okay, let me rephrase that.

01:49:46.000 I'm just now getting to the point where I can decide who the middle act is in my career.

01:49:50.000 Oh, okay, okay.

01:49:51.000 But for the longest time, you just like the local guys.

01:49:53.000 If you're with me on the road, it's because you're funny.

01:49:56.000 It don't mean I like being around you.

01:49:58.000 I understand.

01:49:59.000 It means that I don't hate being around you.

01:50:02.000 Right, right, right.

01:50:02.000 But we don't gotta do everything together.

01:50:04.000 Right.

01:50:05.000 You know?

01:50:05.000 No.

01:50:05.000 Who could replace Chadwick Boseman?

01:50:09.000 Who would even be in consideration?

01:50:11.000 It would have to be someone young.

01:50:12.000 It would have to be an unknown.

01:50:14.000 Ooh.

01:50:14.000 It would have to be someone...

01:50:15.000 Because I think the reason his family's saying that's what he wanted, because he was all about that.

01:50:20.000 Like, giving young black actors a shot.

01:50:22.000 Like, new people you haven't heard of and bringing them in.

01:50:24.000 And so...

01:50:25.000 But I think Disney decided to go the other way.

01:50:27.000 What are they going to do?

01:50:28.000 They're going to kill him off and have someone else take up the mantle and become the new...

01:50:34.000 Like, have someone that's already in the movie.

01:50:35.000 Oh, really?

01:50:36.000 Yeah.

01:50:36.000 Oh.

01:50:38.000 Hmm.

01:50:38.000 I hope I don't fuck it up.

01:50:40.000 I don't know, man, but the fan base...

01:50:42.000 When you're dealing with these comic books, it's like, because I've seen them flip-flop.

01:50:46.000 I've seen them, like, they do some shit.

01:50:48.000 Remember the Sonic movie a couple years ago?

01:50:49.000 Yeah.

01:50:50.000 And they released one picture, and people thought the Sonic looked ridiculous.

01:50:54.000 And they changed the whole movie.

01:50:55.000 And they reanimated the whole fucking movie.

01:50:57.000 Well, it did look odd.

01:50:58.000 It did.

01:50:59.000 A little too deepy.

01:51:00.000 But it's like, not enough to reanimate the movie, though.

01:51:02.000 Think about how many Batmans there have been. 1.00

01:51:05.000 Nobody gives a fuck.

01:51:07.000 Isn't that wild?

01:51:08.000 There's been so many Batmans, from Adam West to the comic Beetlejuice. 1.00

01:51:15.000 Fuck's his name.

01:51:17.000 You know what I'm talking about.

01:51:18.000 Michael Keaton.

01:51:19.000 Michael Keaton, thank you.

01:51:20.000 Michael Keaton.

01:51:21.000 George Clooney was Batman for a little bit.

01:51:23.000 Val Kilmer.

01:51:23.000 Val Kilmer was a great Batman.

01:51:25.000 Look at all them Batmans! 1.00

01:51:28.000 Christian Bale.

01:51:29.000 Christian Bale was the best.

01:51:31.000 He was the best Batman.

01:51:32.000 But they're all ridiculous.

01:51:33.000 Christian Bale was the best Batman and the worst Bruce Wayne.

01:51:36.000 They don't have a homeboy in this Ben Affleck.

01:51:39.000 He's the new Batman, but it's like that's the thing It's like he does he plays Batman and he gets hate Like if Ben Affleck just play some regular dude in a good movie nobody gets hate Robin Pattinson's a new one to the guy Oh Robin Pattinson he I bet he could pull it off.

01:51:54.000 Yeah, but also to him and when people die It's a whole other thing.

01:51:59.000 It's a whole other thing.

01:52:00.000 Like, you can't...

01:52:01.000 Because I remember, like, Jay-Z used to say this in a freestyle one time, but, like, he's always being compared to Biggie, you know?

01:52:09.000 And he's like, how am I supposed to win when you got me fighting ghosts?

01:52:12.000 Ooh, yeah.

01:52:13.000 That was a cold line.

01:52:15.000 But it's like that.

01:52:16.000 It's like, you can't...

01:52:17.000 You can't say you're better than the dead guy.

01:52:20.000 Never.

01:52:20.000 And it's the people that's going to never let you be better no matter what you do.

01:52:24.000 That happens in every sport.

01:52:26.000 It happens in everything.

01:52:28.000 That's one of the things that happened to Larry Holmes when Larry Holmes surpassed Muhammad Ali when he was the next heavyweight champion.

01:52:35.000 Everybody hated him because he beat up Ali and he never got his due.

01:52:39.000 He was one of the best heavyweights of all time.

01:52:41.000 Larry Holmes had one of the best jabs that has ever been seen in the heavyweight division.

01:52:44.000 He was phenomenal in his prime.

01:52:47.000 Didn't he fight Mike?

01:52:48.000 He did.

01:52:49.000 When he was old.

01:52:50.000 Yeah, he came out of retirement to fight Mike.

01:52:53.000 I believe he was 36, but it was like a real 36. Like 36 in 1985 or whatever it was.

01:52:59.000 Which was like 50. 1988. Yeah, it's a different time.

01:53:03.000 They were really 36 back then.

01:53:05.000 You know, like there's guys like Bernard Hopkins that fight deep into his 40s.

01:53:09.000 I think his last fight was like 50 years old when he fought Joseph Smith.

01:53:13.000 Yeah, this is one of my...

01:53:15.000 Yeah, this was tough, man, but in the second round, Mike Tyson, or Larry Holmes rather, gave Mike Tyson a lot of trouble with his jab.

01:53:23.000 The second round, okay, watch this, because in the second round, Larry Holmes came out and he was popping the jab.

01:53:29.000 Okay.

01:53:30.000 In the beginning of this round, he gave him a lot of trouble with that long jab.

01:53:34.000 Larry Holmes in his prime had a fucking phenomenal jab.

01:53:38.000 And when he beat guys up with that jab, like Jerry Cooney fights a great example, he was a sniper.

01:53:47.000 He was absolutely one of the best heavyweights of all time.

01:53:51.000 So what round is this, Jamie?

01:53:53.000 Actually, I don't know.

01:53:53.000 It's like a highlight.

01:53:54.000 Oh, it's a highlight.

01:53:55.000 So it's not all of them?

01:53:56.000 I clicked on two, and it seems to...

01:53:58.000 But Mike Tyson, at this time, could not be denied.

01:54:02.000 He was a destroyer.

01:54:03.000 He was so scary.

01:54:04.000 He was a destroyer.

01:54:05.000 He was so much faster than everybody, and he was just trying to get close enough to unleash hell.

01:54:09.000 You ever notice how, like...

01:54:12.000 You don't see too much of this anymore, but, like...

01:54:14.000 I remember when I was little and Mike was the man, but there was always these old dudes that just hated him for being so good.

01:54:22.000 Somebody needs to teach this young punk a lesson.

01:54:24.000 Look at that head movement, man.

01:54:25.000 When do you ever recall a heavyweight having head movement like that?

01:54:29.000 Mike's head movement was superb.

01:54:31.000 It wasn't just his power.

01:54:33.000 Just back that up just a little bit, Jamie, just a little bit from where we were so I could see him move his head.

01:54:38.000 What could this fucking head movement mean?

01:54:40.000 No, it's before that.

01:54:41.000 Go before that.

01:54:42.000 Because there was a series, like right here.

01:54:43.000 Look at this, man.

01:54:46.000 This head movement was phenomenal.

01:54:48.000 Larry Holmes is flicking that jab.

01:54:49.000 Mike Tyson is meeting him with his own jab.

01:54:51.000 And he's so hard to hit.

01:54:53.000 That was part of the thing that people forgot about with Tyson.

01:54:56.000 Was how elusive he was in his prime when he had all that crazy wild head movement.

01:55:01.000 So it wasn't just that he got close to you and smashed you.

01:55:03.000 It was that as he's getting close, you can't keep him off you.

01:55:06.000 You can't hit him.

01:55:08.000 His head movement was fucking superb.

01:55:11.000 They call it the peekaboo?

01:55:12.000 Yeah, peekaboo style.

01:55:14.000 But it was a lot of bobbing and weaving because, you know, he was shorter than a lot of these guys.

01:55:18.000 So there's a lot.

01:55:19.000 Look at that head movement.

01:55:20.000 Phenomenal.

01:55:21.000 And just stays on you, and he could do that all night, and he kept his power deep into a fight.

01:55:26.000 Mike Tyson was a terrifying force of nature when he was the champ.

01:55:30.000 When he was at the top of the heap, he was different than any heavyweight that ever came before him.

01:55:34.000 He was fast as Joe Louis and Muhammad Ali, but hit like Sonny Liston.

01:55:38.000 I mean, he had everything.

01:55:40.000 Can you imagine being that young?

01:55:41.000 20!

01:55:45.000 With that kind of confidence, nobody out here can really stop me from doing anything.

01:55:49.000 Anything.

01:55:50.000 No matter what.

01:55:51.000 He was 20 years old.

01:55:52.000 20 years old and he was the heavyweight champion of the world.

01:55:56.000 Yeah, man.

01:55:56.000 And when he was just standing there, it was like it was destiny.

01:55:59.000 He was standing there like it was destiny.

01:56:01.000 Like we all knew it was going to happen.

01:56:02.000 It happened.

01:56:03.000 And we're like, holy shit.

01:56:05.000 You hear him talk about it now sometimes and he sounds like he's talking about a different person.

01:56:09.000 Yeah.

01:56:09.000 I mean, it makes sense, right?

01:56:12.000 I mean, it was a long time ago, and he took a long time off.

01:56:16.000 When you have memories from 10, 15 years ago, how good are they?

01:56:21.000 He probably has to watch his own videos to realize what he did.

01:56:25.000 His memory of it is probably as flashes of it, but...

01:56:29.000 Even my memory of yesterday is shitty.

01:56:31.000 I mean, it's pretty good.

01:56:32.000 I can tell you what happened, what I did, but what do I visually remember?

01:56:37.000 How much of the actual experience do I remember?

01:56:40.000 Very little.

01:56:41.000 Yeah.

01:56:41.000 That's not accurate at all.

01:56:43.000 And I heard, and I don't know how true this is, but I heard that every time you access a memory...

01:56:50.000 The next time you remember it, you're remembering the last time you remembered it.

01:56:54.000 Right.

01:56:54.000 Not the actual memory.

01:56:55.000 And you're probably remembering it how you tell it to people, too.

01:56:57.000 Right.

01:56:58.000 Because a lot of times people leave shit out.

01:56:59.000 That's changed.

01:57:00.000 You ever do that with your parents?

01:57:03.000 Especially when it was something negative.

01:57:04.000 You're like, Mom, remember that time you hit me with that sack of nickels? 0.95

01:57:08.000 And she's like, that didn't happen.

01:57:09.000 Yeah, they do get a little testy.

01:57:11.000 You're like, I remember it happening.

01:57:13.000 Yeah, you remember it, but yeah, it's convenient.

01:57:17.000 Back then, people hit their kids.

01:57:19.000 It was normal.

01:57:19.000 It was real normal.

01:57:20.000 In fact, it wasn't just normal, but it was...

01:57:24.000 I talk about this in the special, actually.

01:57:25.000 Oh, yeah?

01:57:26.000 It wasn't just normal, but it was expected.

01:57:31.000 It was like a sign of good parenting.

01:57:33.000 Yes.

01:57:34.000 That you had your kids in control.

01:57:36.000 You wanted to show the public...

01:57:38.000 You wanted to show the public that your kids are under your yoke.

01:57:42.000 You didn't have no out of control crazy ass kids. 1.00

01:57:45.000 That was the whole thing.

01:57:45.000 So if your momma smacked the shit out, if you smack the shit out of one of your kids now, everybody in the store is going to be like, was that necessary?

01:57:52.000 But back then it was like, yeah, get them.

01:57:54.000 They would cheer them on.

01:57:55.000 In some places they still smack their kids.

01:57:57.000 I was in Thailand and I was with my family and I went to the gym.

01:58:02.000 And when I went down to the gym to work out, I missed out on all this.

01:58:06.000 But apparently there was some Chinese lady with her son and the son did something that pissed her off. 1.00

01:58:13.000 So she beat the shit out of him in front of everybody. 1.00

01:58:16.000 She smacked him in the face and smacked him like three or four more times and she was screaming at him like in front of everybody. 0.89

01:58:22.000 And all the other tourists are sitting around going, what the fuck?

01:58:26.000 And this lady just beat the shit out of her kid in front of everybody. 1.00

01:58:30.000 It was effective.

01:58:31.000 I mean, in the short term.

01:58:33.000 Well, the problem with that is that...

01:58:36.000 First of all, it's horrible, but it also perpetuates more of it in the future.

01:58:40.000 Like, those people are gonna be more likely to hit people they care about, too.

01:58:43.000 They're gonna be more likely to hit their kids.

01:58:45.000 And it's gonna be, the real negative impact is that it's gonna be their number one problem-solving skill.

01:58:52.000 Your kid goes into something, you meet adults where the first thing they want to do is fight over an issue.

01:58:58.000 Because they haven't learned how to resolve conflict any other way.

01:59:02.000 And it's also like you can press the final button.

01:59:10.000 Like, let's just fight.

01:59:11.000 Fuck this.

01:59:11.000 And some dudes just want to go right to the final button.

01:59:15.000 But like I said, though, it was convenient.

01:59:17.000 It's just like how now people stick their kids in front of an iPad instead of spending time with them.

01:59:21.000 It was like if your kid was screaming in the store and knocking shit off the shelves and you wanted it to stop right then and there, you smack the shit out of them.

01:59:29.000 And it was instant.

01:59:31.000 It worked.

01:59:32.000 Now you sit there negotiating with your children.

01:59:35.000 And they're gonna drive a hard bargain, you know?

01:59:37.000 But I don't have kids, so I'm never gonna have to worry about that.

01:59:40.000 It's tricky.

01:59:41.000 The communication with them is very tricky.

01:59:44.000 You gotta have open communication with them, and then you gotta realize that they're, you know...

01:59:50.000 10 years old.

01:59:51.000 They don't know what the fuck's going on.

01:59:52.000 And you're having a conversation with them, you're trying to explain it to them, and you also have to calm them down, because a lot of times when they get upset about something, they're not real good at managing their emotions.

02:00:01.000 Like, if one of the sisters is mad at the other one, there's always this kind of conversation and negotiation that has to be held.

02:00:08.000 Oh, wow.

02:00:08.000 You gotta let a certain amount of time pass.

02:00:10.000 You have only daughters?

02:00:11.000 Yeah.

02:00:12.000 When they get mad at each other, you've got to let enough time pass so that the energy levels drop.

02:00:17.000 Because a lot of times the way they think about stuff is directly connected to the anger they feel right then in that moment.

02:00:24.000 They don't have good management skills.

02:00:27.000 They don't know how to not get too mad.

02:00:29.000 There's dudes that can say something that can piss you off and you go, look, I could either escalate this Or I could just calm down and be a man and not care if this person's insulting or this person's saying something stupid.

02:00:41.000 I'm just going to talk to them like how I would talk to everybody.

02:00:44.000 And that's on them.

02:00:45.000 They want to be a dick, that's on them.

02:00:47.000 But how long did it take you to learn that?

02:00:48.000 Forever.

02:00:49.000 Yeah.

02:00:50.000 Forever.

02:00:51.000 I think for most people it starts happening right around the time Where you don't feel invincible anymore.

02:00:56.000 Like somewhere in your 20s where you take that first real damage.

02:01:02.000 You take that first real L. It's sound energy management.

02:01:08.000 And it's sound discipline that applies to your whole life.

02:01:12.000 If you can avoid conflict when it's unnecessary.

02:01:15.000 Because there's people, the weakest amongst us, That gravitate towards conflicts constantly because it gives them a distraction from their own shortcomings and failings as a person.

02:01:26.000 So they'll gravitate towards fights with people.

02:01:29.000 They'll gravitate towards hyper-criticism towards one individual.

02:01:34.000 And usually it's a sign of someone not looking at themselves critically.

02:01:38.000 They usually have glaring flaws, but they're not willing to look at those.

02:01:42.000 They look at other people's flaws and they'll exaggerate those flaws and attack those people.

02:01:46.000 That's a lot of what conflict is.

02:01:48.000 A lot of conflict is internal.

02:01:50.000 And if you're not dealing with it internally, the way you externally communicate with other people is a lot of times it's very shitty because you have conflict.

02:01:58.000 Your body's in like a state of uncomfortability all the time.

02:02:02.000 Yes, I noticed that a lot of times when I'm gaming online.

02:02:06.000 Like, you could tell that sometimes people behave a certain way.

02:02:09.000 You know what I mean?

02:02:09.000 And you're just like, what the fuck is going on in your house, man?

02:02:12.000 Like, you need a hug or something.

02:02:14.000 Well, there's also games elevate people almost to the point of feeling like it's a real thing.

02:02:19.000 Like, the adrenaline that's involved in, like, if you're in a game of Quake, for instance, and you're running down a corridor and people are shooting rockets at you, and you're trying to survive and someone's chasing you down...

02:02:28.000 It doesn't feel like your life's really in danger, but your system is ramped the fuck up.

02:02:34.000 Your heart is beating fast.

02:02:36.000 Your adrenaline is pumping.

02:02:37.000 Your hands are shaking.

02:02:38.000 You're sweating.

02:02:39.000 Your brain is connecting this to the same type of feelings it would have if you were being physically attacked.

02:02:46.000 So when people say wild shit when they're gaming, a lot of times they're just saying wild shit because they literally feel like they're in a war.

02:02:54.000 They feel like they're being attacked without the danger.

02:02:57.000 So like they don't feel physically in danger, but they feel like, ah, it's a fucking joke!

02:03:01.000 Like you play a game, you get done, you're like, fuck!

02:03:04.000 Your hands are sweating.

02:03:05.000 You're like, Jesus Christ!

02:03:07.000 Especially your close ones.

02:03:07.000 Yes!

02:03:08.000 Real close ones, they're crazy.

02:03:10.000 And if you win, you feel like the best.

02:03:11.000 And if you lose, you feel like such a piece of shit.

02:03:14.000 Like, damn it!

02:03:15.000 It's such a bad feeling to lose.

02:03:18.000 See, that's one of the reasons why kids are so crazy today.

02:03:21.000 Well, it goes along with what you were saying with the emotional management, because it's almost always, whenever I get matched up with adults, like in solo queue, when you get matched up when everyone's pretty much grown, it's very few problems, unless you're already tilted.

02:03:35.000 Right, right.

02:03:36.000 Because some people come in and there's some bullshit from previous games.

02:03:39.000 Yeah.

02:03:39.000 They had a smurf on the other team or one of your teammates was throwing or something like that and you're just frustrated.

02:03:44.000 You know, three matches in a row is some bullshit or in the middle of your last one it disconnected.

02:03:49.000 It's that kind of shit.

02:03:49.000 You know what the best shit though is LAN parties.

02:03:52.000 Because LAN parties, you're friends and you're all in the room and you can talk shit in real time.

02:03:56.000 So you look over at each other and talk shit.

02:03:58.000 Oh my god, they don't do that anymore?

02:04:00.000 No, because you can have like, there's a...

02:04:03.000 There's programs where you can team speak and team speaks all this shit.

02:04:07.000 Yeah, no, I know about all that, but I think that there's got to be room for the conference table.

02:04:13.000 Get a conference table, get a bunch of dudes, link everybody up together, someone acts as a server, you got zero lag.

02:04:20.000 In fact, I don't even know if they...

02:04:22.000 Even design games with that in mind anymore.

02:04:24.000 That's outrageous!

02:04:26.000 I'm such an old timer.

02:04:27.000 But that was the shit, man, when you would play in a room together and a bunch of guys would get together in a room and you would have so much...

02:04:33.000 That's how I got addicted to the games.

02:04:34.000 The writing staff at NewsRadio had a LAN set up in their writing room.

02:04:39.000 And we went in there and we were playing Quake 3 and I was like, you motherfuckers, what have you done to my life?

02:04:44.000 Damn.

02:04:45.000 Drag me into your fucking addiction.

02:04:47.000 Yeah, we had...

02:04:48.000 No, it was Quake 2. That's what it was.

02:04:49.000 I remember when Halo 2 came out in the barracks.

02:04:53.000 We got in trouble because somebody reported as an eyesore, but we had land cables like...

02:04:59.000 200-foot land cables going across the balcony, like across the courtyard and shit, playing Halo.

02:05:06.000 Had all the Xboxes all linked up.

02:05:07.000 And that was some of the most fun I've ever had.

02:05:10.000 Dude, when they make that shit virtual, when they get to a point where they can completely recreate a virtual reality situation like a video game, but you feel the ground on your feet, you got a real gun, it kicks when you shoot it.

02:05:24.000 It's coming.

02:05:25.000 It's coming for sure.

02:05:27.000 And it's close.

02:05:27.000 It's closer than you think.

02:05:28.000 I mean, Zuckerberg, he didn't make that pivot for no reason.

02:05:32.000 Have you ever done one of them places, like Sandbox, where you go in and you play virtual reality games?

02:05:39.000 No.

02:05:39.000 Oh my god, dude.

02:05:40.000 There's this one where you go into a haunted house.

02:05:44.000 It's all filled with zombies and it's you and I've done it with my whole family a couple times.

02:05:48.000 My kids are shooting zombies in a virtual reality world.

02:05:51.000 It's amazing!

02:05:51.000 You wear a haptic feedback vest and you go into this building and inside this building they have these green rooms.

02:05:58.000 So you go into like a bigger than a podcast studio, maybe double the size of this podcast studio, maybe triple.

02:06:04.000 Of the whole building?

02:06:06.000 No, just us.

02:06:06.000 Where we are.

02:06:07.000 There would be like one room.

02:06:08.000 And in that one room, everything would be green screened.

02:06:11.000 And then you were wearing this full virtual reality gear.

02:06:15.000 And so you put this virtual reality gear on and then they start the program.

02:06:20.000 And then all of a sudden you see the floor.

02:06:22.000 You might be on a pirate ship.

02:06:23.000 You might be in the middle of the desert.

02:06:25.000 It's wild, man.

02:06:26.000 And it looks cool.

02:06:27.000 It doesn't look perfect.

02:06:28.000 I mean, it doesn't look like the best video games look, but it looks pretty goddamn good.

02:06:32.000 But I just saw the next thing, the Unreal Engine 5. Oh, incredible.

02:06:39.000 We've done that multiple times, but we can look at it again.

02:06:42.000 Yeah, it's coming to where they're there now.

02:06:44.000 Look at this.

02:06:45.000 New haptic feedback vest lets you experience getting shot virtually.

02:06:49.000 So that must be a painful one.

02:06:52.000 Wow.

02:06:53.000 Yeah, they're going to rig it up to the point where someone's going to be willing to take a game where you die.

02:07:00.000 Virtual reality, you're going to duel to the death.

02:07:02.000 There's going to come a time where the best gamers will also be the best athletes.

02:07:07.000 Right.

02:07:08.000 Instead of the top athletes going into the traditional sports, they're going to be doing this shit because you're going to have to be athletic to be good at the best...

02:07:16.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:07:16.000 Right.

02:07:17.000 Because if it does get to a point where it's your body is your player.

02:07:21.000 Yeah.

02:07:22.000 Yeah.

02:07:23.000 Well, what you can do in the game is directly proportional to what you can really do.

02:07:27.000 Well, players, I mean, I would think that anybody who's like an elite level athlete is going to have faster reaction times, too, and probably be better at handling pressure.

02:07:35.000 Right?

02:07:36.000 Yeah.

02:07:37.000 If they figure out, like, I know they've done some other type of places that have, like, structure.

02:07:44.000 Like a warehouse, and you're doing virtual reality, but there's actually, like, walls, and they have walls built in.

02:07:50.000 You can touch the walls and move around them, and you're shooting at each other and shit.

02:07:53.000 They're coming up with all these different places where you go and you pay.

02:07:57.000 But this sand house place, sandbox place, see if you can find the zombie game.

02:08:02.000 It's something mansion.

02:08:04.000 Deadwood Mansion, is that it?

02:08:06.000 Dude, it's the shit.

02:08:08.000 It's like you get zombies just running at you and you're splattering them with machine guns or with shotguns rather.

02:08:13.000 So are the guns virtual or do you have something in your hand?

02:08:16.000 You have a plastic gun in your hand.

02:08:18.000 Does it have a weight to it?

02:08:20.000 It's got a little bit of weight too, but also you have to reload it.

02:08:24.000 You have to push it down to reload it.

02:08:26.000 You have to do things to reload your gun, which makes you panic.

02:08:29.000 Are they like power-ups and shit?

02:08:30.000 Yeah.

02:08:31.000 Well, yeah, you can get killed, too.

02:08:33.000 So you're in this house, and so this is what it looks like in the room.

02:08:37.000 And it looks like a green screen when you first turn it on.

02:08:40.000 So this is the zombies.

02:08:43.000 So they're coming at you.

02:08:45.000 And you're in this dark.

02:08:46.000 This is what it looks like while you're actually playing it.

02:08:49.000 Wow.

02:08:51.000 Look at these dorks. 0.79

02:08:53.000 But it's fun, man.

02:08:54.000 I'm telling you.

02:08:54.000 Is that here?

02:08:55.000 In Austin?

02:08:55.000 Yes!

02:08:55.000 You can do it in Austin.

02:08:56.000 It's at the Domain.

02:08:57.000 It's the shit.

02:08:58.000 Look at this.

02:09:00.000 Come on, man.

02:09:00.000 How fun is this?

02:09:01.000 Rats are coming at you.

02:09:02.000 You can stomp at them.

02:09:03.000 And the zombies run at you.

02:09:06.000 And there's also zombies that cling to the walls and they wrap their tongue around you and strangle you.

02:09:11.000 Things come out of the ceiling.

02:09:12.000 How do you keep from bumping into your family?

02:09:14.000 You do bump into them.

02:09:15.000 You just gotta be nice.

02:09:17.000 As someone who's been in VR for a little while now, I've been wondering, why do you think everything is just killing zombies?

02:09:22.000 It's fun!

02:09:22.000 I know, but I mean...

02:09:23.000 They have to die!

02:09:25.000 It's the no is it like the reality thing like where it'd be too fucking close to reality to kill anything other than I think is that it's it's close enough like you're still killing a person but one that you don't have to feel anything for Could you imagine if conflict breaks out between us and China and they start having virtual reality games We can kill Chinese people and Chinese people and kill Americans. 0.88

02:09:47.000 Well, don't they already do that?

02:09:48.000 I mean that virtual reality But if they if they start to have things like that Oh, yeah.

02:09:53.000 I mean, that's inevitable.

02:09:55.000 You know, people don't realize how quickly people demonize other groups.

02:10:00.000 You know, the first thing we do, we always give them a name.

02:10:04.000 We always give them a name because that helps the soldiers.

02:10:08.000 We always give them a derogatory nickname.

02:10:10.000 Yeah, that's where a lot of the slurs come from.

02:10:15.000 It's like someone we fought, and we were like, you're...

02:10:19.000 In Iraq, people started calling people hajis right away.

02:10:23.000 Just something not human.

02:10:24.000 Just something you don't even...

02:10:25.000 It's a concept.

02:10:27.000 It's not even like a person.

02:10:28.000 Right.

02:10:28.000 You're othering them.

02:10:30.000 Exactly.

02:10:30.000 You're othering them.

02:10:31.000 That's the easiest way to get people motivated.

02:10:33.000 You don't have to feel anything for it.

02:10:35.000 That's been a part of a human tribal relations since the beginning of time.

02:10:39.000 Yeah.

02:10:40.000 It's just how people are.

02:10:42.000 It's easier for us to think of them as not being human.

02:10:44.000 But that's the real hustle.

02:10:47.000 That's the real hustle.

02:10:49.000 The real world is just people.

02:10:51.000 The fucked up thing is we get...

02:10:53.000 We get, like, sectioned off in these government-controlled areas.

02:10:59.000 So we had a small group of people that always do a terrible job that we re-elect every time for whatever years.

02:11:05.000 They're always terrible at it.

02:11:06.000 And we let them lead us into conflict.

02:11:09.000 If you eliminated all those people, all of them, all the people that tell you what to do, and you were left with just human beings, I feel like we could work a system out.

02:11:19.000 I feel like we could work a system out without leaders The problem is when you have leaders and leaders want to do this they want to do that they want to and then there's Companies that are profiting off of things like natural resources Like there's something kind of fucked up about making trillions of dollars out of the blood of the earth when you say leaders because every because here's something here's something I just suspects that everyone deep down wants to be led and It's just a matter of whether you trust,

02:11:48.000 like if you trust the person in charge, you immediately like, yes, just what do I need to do?

02:11:54.000 Yeah, we want a real leader.

02:11:55.000 Right.

02:11:56.000 Yeah.

02:11:56.000 So a leader would always emerge.

02:11:59.000 Right.

02:11:59.000 But they don't, not anymore.

02:12:01.000 Because now the price is too high.

02:12:03.000 So it's like the price of digging into a person's personal life or distorting their past is so sketchy for people.

02:12:11.000 Like all these people, they all come up with some story of some horrific thing they did right before they run for election.

02:12:18.000 People know about this.

02:12:20.000 So I think there's like a real hesitancy of a lot of brilliant people to get involved in that muckraking and just to feel what it feels like to have that. 0.65

02:12:28.000 We love to play in the mud.

02:12:29.000 But it's also like the type of person that really wants to be a leader is one of two people, right?

02:12:36.000 It's either someone who really cares and wants the world to be a better place and thinks they can pull it off.

02:12:42.000 They think they can do better and they can make some real change and they can maybe help the community of the United States as a community, like as a group of humans that want the world to be a better place for each other.

02:12:54.000 And then there's crazy people.

02:12:56.000 And then there's people that are like completely bought and sold by the political system and the special interest groups and the lobbyists and they're deeply entwined and they have no ambitions whatsoever to try to step outside of that.

02:13:13.000 They live in that world.

02:13:15.000 They hop knob.

02:13:16.000 They all know the same people.

02:13:18.000 They go to the same parties.

02:13:19.000 They think the same thoughts.

02:13:20.000 They're just Hollywood with ugly people. 0.99

02:13:25.000 Imagine being born with it.

02:13:27.000 You know what they just did in North Korea?

02:13:29.000 They banned laughter.

02:13:31.000 For 11 days.

02:13:32.000 Imagine bringing that idea up in a room full of powerful people and no one being like, I don't think that's...

02:13:40.000 That's why you can't have anybody in control.

02:13:42.000 You can't have a person in control.

02:13:44.000 You can't have, like, George Bush or Joe Biden or any of these people that are in control where the whole world was freaked out that this is the guy, whether it's Donald Trump or some people who's even Obama.

02:13:56.000 Having a person who is the fucking leader of the free world is crazy.

02:14:01.000 We all know it's crazy.

02:14:02.000 Yeah.

02:14:03.000 And having all these people that put that person into place and then seeing the way they operate and what they do.

02:14:09.000 Yeah.

02:14:10.000 When you see that Nancy Pelosi makes $200,000 a year and she's worth a hundred and something million dollars, you're like, what?

02:14:16.000 Where did you get that money?

02:14:18.000 Nothing to see here.

02:14:20.000 And then you hear that they can actually participate in the stock market?

02:14:25.000 So they actually buy and trade stocks?

02:14:29.000 And they sometimes know about things like laws that are going to be passed, they're going to benefit stocks?

02:14:33.000 I think you should have to give up all your assets.

02:14:36.000 Somebody just proposed, some senator just proposed, that congresspeople should not be able to trade in stocks while they're in office.

02:14:46.000 Maybe even when you're out.

02:14:47.000 Yeah, ever.

02:14:49.000 It's a tricky thing.

02:14:51.000 It's because it's like, when you're out, you're out.

02:14:53.000 You should be able to do whatever you want, right?

02:14:56.000 But, did you make deals while you were in?

02:14:58.000 Of course you did.

02:14:58.000 That when you were out, they would give you information?

02:15:00.000 Because, like, here's a deal that's legal, that's kind of sneaky.

02:15:04.000 The private speaking deal.

02:15:06.000 Oh, yeah.

02:15:07.000 Like, there's a weird deal.

02:15:08.000 Like, if you were president, right?

02:15:09.000 And then you get out of office, like, Brian did a great job for us, and hey, we would love you to come talk at our fucking blah blah blah meeting, and they'll give you a half a million.

02:15:19.000 Give you a half a million to go up and talk.

02:15:20.000 Which is insane.

02:15:22.000 I would never...

02:15:23.000 You know how you hear those people, they're like, if you could have dinner with one person, and people pick politicians, like, why would you do that?

02:15:30.000 I would like to look in their eyes and smell their breath.

02:15:33.000 I'd like to be around them.

02:15:34.000 I would interview, like, maybe somebody in their family, like their spouses.

02:15:38.000 Like, I would talk to Michelle Obama before I talk to Barack Obama.

02:15:43.000 Because they spend their whole life just so, you know, everything's so sanitized and pre-thought out.

02:15:52.000 You got to talk to one that's dying.

02:15:54.000 Oh yeah, that's a good idea.

02:15:55.000 You want to talk to one and gain their trust.

02:15:58.000 Get that motherfucker on his last day up in Oregon with the juice in his cup.

02:16:03.000 Maybe not even the last day.

02:16:05.000 Like, if you could talk to any president, if you have a conversation, which one would it be?

02:16:11.000 And they have to be 100% truthful with me?

02:16:13.000 Well, they don't have to.

02:16:13.000 They're just going to talk to you.

02:16:15.000 Just a person.

02:16:16.000 No magic powers.

02:16:18.000 Which person would you want to talk to?

02:16:22.000 Which former president?

02:16:24.000 Fuck.

02:16:25.000 That's tough.

02:16:27.000 Any former president?

02:16:28.000 Anyone.

02:16:28.000 That's alive.

02:16:30.000 Not like Eisenhower.

02:16:31.000 Oh, that's alive.

02:16:31.000 Yeah, I would go to Eisenhower.

02:16:32.000 Oh, it would be Obama then.

02:16:34.000 Yeah.

02:16:36.000 How much time do you think you would need to figure out if he's full of shit?

02:16:42.000 You need a few hours.

02:16:43.000 Yeah, I say a few hours of talking to him.

02:16:44.000 You need a few hours to see that spark.

02:16:46.000 What is that?

02:16:47.000 Yeah.

02:16:48.000 Because that's enough time to get him to repeat things.

02:16:50.000 Right.

02:16:51.000 Just to be talking about stuff.

02:16:53.000 I wonder if he drinks.

02:16:53.000 If you just get a couple of drinks.

02:16:54.000 He does drink.

02:16:55.000 Ooh, perfect.

02:16:56.000 Remember he had a beer with the, remember the racism incident with the black professor?

02:17:01.000 He got arrested.

02:17:03.000 That's right.

02:17:03.000 By the white cop.

02:17:04.000 Yeah.

02:17:04.000 And then they came to the White House and had a beer with Obama.

02:17:07.000 Who does that?

02:17:08.000 That's one of the best things about him being president.

02:17:11.000 He thought outside the box.

02:17:13.000 And he could pull something like that off.

02:17:16.000 Like, I don't know, you know, there's a lot of people that don't like his policy choices and what he did with drones, what he did with freedom of the press.

02:17:22.000 There's a lot of issues with Obama, but I think there's issues with anybody that's the president.

02:17:26.000 And I have a feeling that once you get into office, it is a wild menagerie of interests and people and fucking, you have to concentrate on this part of the world because there's conflict with this guy and this guy trying to steal the resources and the stock market's fucked and the this and that.

02:17:44.000 It's celebrity with consequences.

02:17:46.000 Not only that, it's like you got to be the best in the world at it and you just started last week.

02:17:51.000 Yeah.

02:17:52.000 You've never been the president before.

02:17:53.000 Like if you become the president and then all of a sudden you're inside, you literally have the toughest job in the world and a new person tries it out every four years.

02:18:00.000 It's a job like you probably should get real good at it.

02:18:04.000 Right?

02:18:04.000 You should probably do it for decades and decades, but we don't trust you.

02:18:08.000 It's built into the thing.

02:18:09.000 We don't trust you.

02:18:10.000 Like any other job.

02:18:11.000 Imagine if you were a CEO of Apple, but you could only be the CEO of Apple for four years, and then you have to run for it again.

02:18:17.000 Who the fuck would...

02:18:18.000 That would be a disaster.

02:18:21.000 And I bet you there's definitely...

02:18:23.000 Shit that they don't tell you until you swear in.

02:18:27.000 And then they pull you in the room and go, okay, so this is where the aliens are?

02:18:31.000 This is who killed John F. Kennedy?

02:18:34.000 We've also implanted a uranium bomb in the base of your spine, so if you get out of line, boom, we're gonna blow your head off. 0.82

02:18:41.000 Yeah.

02:18:41.000 That kind of shit.

02:18:42.000 Yeah.

02:18:43.000 Remember that Bill Hicks joke?

02:18:44.000 He said, I think they take you into a room full with smoky industrialists, a smoky room, and he said, and then they play you a video of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before.

02:18:57.000 That's brilliant!

02:18:58.000 That's brilliant.

02:19:00.000 And then they say, any questions?

02:19:02.000 And he goes, just what is my agenda?

02:19:04.000 I think you don't get to be the president unless they pick you until Trump came along.

02:19:10.000 And I think Trump was an odd combination of, yeah, there were definitely people that stand to make a lot of money with him in office, whatever the regulations that he was passing, that he's friendly to business, and they thought it was going to be good for business, and so they had an interest in getting him in there.

02:19:26.000 But he wasn't a regular politician guy.

02:19:28.000 He was some crazy billionaire famous guy who's like famous for being outrageous, you're fired, and then all of a sudden he's running the country?

02:19:39.000 Like what?

02:19:40.000 I think what really fucked people up is that he didn't follow any of the rules.

02:19:44.000 Because there's rules of like, you can't do this, you can't say that.

02:19:48.000 Right.

02:19:48.000 You can't do this.

02:19:49.000 You have to abide by...

02:19:51.000 And he's like, fuck all that.

02:19:52.000 And that fucked him up because that means you can't control a person.

02:19:55.000 Right.

02:19:55.000 He was going to be his own guy and he had the support of all the people that love him above and beyond any president he ever had before.

02:20:04.000 You think he's going to run again?

02:20:05.000 100%.

02:20:06.000 You don't think he is?

02:20:07.000 Man, I just...

02:20:08.000 I just don't...

02:20:09.000 Because when he ran the first time...

02:20:14.000 It was very divisive, but now there's these, you know, with the COVID division and the vaccine division, that would be like what happened before, I hate to say on steroids, but That's a phrase.

02:20:31.000 Yeah.

02:20:31.000 But it's like, it would just be...

02:20:33.000 Because now you have four or five reasons to fucking hate your family.

02:20:37.000 I know people that stop talking to their friends.

02:20:39.000 Yeah.

02:20:39.000 I don't lose friends like that.

02:20:41.000 What if maybe Biden fucks it up so bad four years from now that Trump looks like a viable option?

02:20:48.000 I think that's possible, too.

02:20:50.000 We're looking at a situation right now where we're a year in, right?

02:20:54.000 January is a year into his presidency, and you can't hate a person for getting old.

02:21:01.000 It's just a part of being a human being.

02:21:04.000 But when you watch him ramble on TV, nobody has confidence that this is the most clear-headed, Most logical, most well-read and wise of all the leaders in the world.

02:21:21.000 That's a crazy thing to say, right?

02:21:23.000 Whether you think he's okay, whether you think he's fine, my point is, is that the best representative of the United States of America?

02:21:32.000 And I think most people, being honest, would say no.

02:21:35.000 No.

02:21:35.000 Most of the people that voted for Biden...

02:21:39.000 We're voting against Trump.

02:21:40.000 Exactly.

02:21:41.000 But Biden and Harris were acting like we looked at them as like saviors.

02:21:47.000 Some people did.

02:21:48.000 A lot of people, the hardcore people in the Democratic Party.

02:21:51.000 That's the thing, man.

02:21:52.000 Those are the people that they communicate with the most other than the press.

02:21:54.000 And the press is a lot of it is the hardcore members of the Democrat Party is a lot of the press.

02:21:59.000 Well, the thing is, they don't want...

02:22:03.000 Yeah.

02:22:13.000 Yeah.

02:22:23.000 We're good to go.

02:22:40.000 But most people don't want that.

02:22:42.000 People don't want you to go back to 2019 the way things were.

02:22:44.000 Yeah, I think what people would want is more opportunity to pursue what they really want to do versus what they were just doing for money.

02:22:52.000 I think when you take everything away, a lot of people at least, some people were just itching to go back to the way things were before.

02:22:59.000 Just give me my job back.

02:23:00.000 I miss not having to think about money.

02:23:02.000 I miss knowing I got a steady check.

02:23:03.000 But some people are like, you know what?

02:23:05.000 I'm happier just making fucking ashtrays or whatever.

02:23:09.000 I'm happier starting a business on Etsy.

02:23:12.000 I'm happier.

02:23:13.000 I'm happier doing this or doing that.

02:23:15.000 People just started doing different stuff.

02:23:17.000 And they started thinking when something got taken away from them that they never realized that someone could just take something away from you like that.

02:23:24.000 Like comics.

02:23:25.000 You can't do shows.

02:23:27.000 That was Los Angeles.

02:23:28.000 This is how dumb the government in Los Angeles is.

02:23:31.000 They were like, you can't do outside shows.

02:23:33.000 And they're like, outside?

02:23:34.000 What if we do outside?

02:23:36.000 And the comedy store said, what if we do outside and we put up a barrier?

02:23:38.000 A plastic, clear, see-through barrier between the comic and the audience.

02:23:42.000 No.

02:23:43.000 What?

02:23:44.000 Yeah.

02:23:45.000 No, I said you can't.

02:23:46.000 Then we did them in the window.

02:23:47.000 Bro, it didn't make any sense.

02:23:49.000 The logic behind it was so stupid, and they didn't care about the businesses because they don't have to, because their money is not based on how much the businesses earn.

02:23:58.000 If politicians' money was all based on a percentage of the gross profits of the neighborhood they control, they'd have a completely different way of dealing with people.

02:24:09.000 And they would have let those shows keep rolling.

02:24:12.000 Because if they knew that if all the bars were closed and all the comedy clubs were closed, the amount of revenue that's missing from their pockets would be substantial.

02:24:20.000 If you tank an economy, you lose your money.

02:24:23.000 Like, let's say you're a mayor, and what does a mayor get paid?

02:24:28.000 I don't even know.

02:24:29.000 Let's just say it's $300,000 a year.

02:24:31.000 What if you have a base salary of $100,000 but a potential for $7,000 to $8,000?

02:24:37.000 So potential for five thousand or five hundred thousand more rather than you would have gotten on a straight-up contract.

02:24:45.000 You just have to show that you're friendly to business and that you're helping the businesses stay open in the air.

02:24:51.000 So the more profit, gross profit gets counted for in your area, the more potential you have up into a cap.

02:24:58.000 So you would want to make that cap.

02:25:01.000 What's to stop you from selling out just your mom and pops for like a big super target or some shit?

02:25:08.000 That's a good question.

02:25:09.000 That's a good question.

02:25:10.000 You'd have to have like very staunch regulations to stop that kind of stuff from happening.

02:25:13.000 You gave me an idea earlier.

02:25:15.000 What if after graduating from high school, we just sort of do for those kids what we did during the pandemic?

02:25:23.000 When you graduate high school, the government, just for a year, gives you enough money to live on, and you can just...

02:25:29.000 Because I feel like you would come out of that...

02:25:32.000 You're not even allowed to start college.

02:25:34.000 You just have to live for a year, try a little different interests, and then by the time you go to...

02:25:38.000 Because the hardest thing about me starting college was they were like, okay, so decide today what you want to focus your whole rest of your life on.

02:25:45.000 Yes.

02:25:46.000 Yeah.

02:25:46.000 And it leaves people in a state of desperation.

02:25:50.000 I remember I made a lot of lies to myself where I pretended there was jobs that I could have done.

02:25:55.000 I was like, yeah, I could do that for a living.

02:25:57.000 My brain was like, what are you talking about?

02:25:59.000 But my desperation and my worry about not having a future was having me convinced.

02:26:05.000 That I could do construction or that I could be an architect.

02:26:09.000 I was trying to come up with jobs, like a regular job to do.

02:26:13.000 But the idea of being locked into some sort of a job, like all day for eight hours a day for my personality, was like being strangled.

02:26:20.000 I was like, I can't do this.

02:26:22.000 I can't do it.

02:26:22.000 And I felt like such a loser, man.

02:26:25.000 That's the ironic part.

02:26:26.000 The thing that led me to success was the thing that made me feel like such a fucking loser when I was young.

02:26:32.000 Because I couldn't keep jobs.

02:26:35.000 I wouldn't do it.

02:26:36.000 I'd be like, I gotta get out of here.

02:26:38.000 I can't do this.

02:26:39.000 Or just for me, I couldn't take things that didn't make sense.

02:26:43.000 Right.

02:26:44.000 Where it's like you're doing something, you have a boss that's secretive or whatever the fuck, and you're doing something that is pointless.

02:26:50.000 Yes.

02:26:52.000 It ate away at me, man.

02:26:54.000 And I've had good jobs.

02:26:56.000 It wasn't the pay.

02:26:58.000 It wasn't where I was living.

02:26:59.000 It wasn't even the actual work itself.

02:27:01.000 It was just the idea that what I was doing didn't mean anything.

02:27:05.000 Sometimes you meet people along the way in your life that you meet just so that you kind of get, they're like a little lesson for you.

02:27:12.000 Like you could lose it all and you can go down this road where you just make a bad decision and now you're doing something meaningless forever.

02:27:20.000 There was this one guy that I used to drive limos with, and he was an older guy, and he had a Cadillac, and he was overweight, this poor bastard, and he knew all the places that had the biggest meals.

02:27:31.000 This is Vegas?

02:27:33.000 No, this is Boston.

02:27:34.000 I was driving limos, and they had a pep talk for us one day.

02:27:40.000 I forget the guy's name, but they were saying, you know, he works, you know, X amount of hours per week.

02:27:46.000 He's like 60 hours a week.

02:27:47.000 He's like, the guy's making more than 60 grand a year.

02:27:51.000 He doesn't have to bust his ass.

02:27:52.000 He's just sitting in his beautiful car, driving around.

02:27:55.000 He makes a great fucking living.

02:27:56.000 And I remember thinking while these guys were saying, like, oh, my God, what a trap.

02:28:00.000 They're leading you to the dumbest trap ever.

02:28:02.000 They're saying you're going to give up all day, every day.

02:28:06.000 If you're going to work 60 hours a week, that's an extra 20 on top of 40. So fuck 9 to 5. You're working a lot of extra hours.

02:28:12.000 Another 20 a week.

02:28:14.000 You're working 12 hour shifts.

02:28:17.000 That's 4 extra fucking hours.

02:28:18.000 Hours every day.

02:28:19.000 Four extra hours Monday through Friday.

02:28:22.000 20 extra fucking hours is nuts. 0.70

02:28:24.000 But that is a lot of guys.

02:28:26.000 A lot of guys just take that job.

02:28:27.000 They'll do 12 every day.

02:28:28.000 And that guy was doing 12 every day.

02:28:30.000 And he was a beaten man.

02:28:31.000 He was probably like 10 years younger than me right now.

02:28:33.000 And he looked like a dead man.

02:28:35.000 And they were talking about how, you know, he's got a great living, doesn't bust his ass.

02:28:39.000 And I'm like, this guy doesn't want to take people to the airport.

02:28:42.000 This is just like, this guy got stuck in this thing.

02:28:46.000 And those people, they come into your life to show you.

02:28:51.000 Like, okay.

02:28:52.000 You can't just do something meaningless all day, every day, forever.

02:28:57.000 You've got to have some reason why you like doing it.

02:29:00.000 It's not that you can't drive limos.

02:29:01.000 I drove limos.

02:29:02.000 It's that driving them 12 hours a day, every day, is not good.

02:29:08.000 It's not good.

02:29:08.000 Unless you love it, right?

02:29:10.000 How could you love it?

02:29:11.000 I mean, maybe you enjoy talking to people or you have a great client or something like that, but for most people, it's something you do to try to accumulate some money and try to get out.

02:29:19.000 I knew this guy who was a limo driver.

02:29:22.000 He wanted to be a record executive.

02:29:24.000 He was really into music.

02:29:25.000 He was talking about music.

02:29:26.000 He was trying to figure out how to bankroll.

02:29:29.000 This was in the 90s.

02:29:30.000 He was trying to figure out how to bankroll a CD and put together songs and bands and shit.

02:29:38.000 He just was stuck in a job, you know?

02:29:40.000 He's just doing a job as a...

02:29:42.000 Did he ever do it?

02:29:43.000 I don't think he did.

02:29:44.000 I think maybe he tried once.

02:29:47.000 I lost touch with him.

02:29:49.000 It's very tricky, that world, man.

02:29:53.000 You have to drive people around, and you're in your car all day, and you're probably sucking in the worst air that you could get.

02:30:01.000 The air on the freeway?

02:30:03.000 Highway air, yeah.

02:30:04.000 How bad's that air?

02:30:05.000 That can't be good for you.

02:30:07.000 Has anybody ever done an analysis on how bad highway driving is for your health?

02:30:11.000 Like people who drive limos or people who have long commutes every day?

02:30:16.000 One of my drivers recently reported me and I think that's why.

02:30:19.000 Because he was losing his mind?

02:30:20.000 No, because I rolled the window down on the highway.

02:30:23.000 The car smelled so bad, and right when I got to the point where I couldn't take it no more, we were getting on the highway.

02:30:28.000 Did he say, hey, roll the window up, and you're like, hey, fuck you?

02:30:31.000 No, but he rolled it up.

02:30:33.000 Oh, he rolled up that the guy pulled down my window?

02:30:35.000 No, I rolled it down, and he rolled it back up.

02:30:38.000 And then I rolled it back down.

02:30:40.000 Oh my god, you guys didn't talk?

02:30:42.000 No.

02:30:42.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:30:43.000 No, we didn't talk, but the tension was thick, though.

02:30:47.000 Hold on, that's another bit.

02:30:48.000 That's another bit right that time.

02:30:50.000 And then this morning, I got an email from Lyft that was like, drivers have reported a couple of your recent...

02:30:57.000 Keep in mind, I got a 5.0 on Lyft.

02:30:59.000 I've been with them from the beginning.

02:31:01.000 I got a five-star rating.

02:31:02.000 And now, recently, a driver has reported my ride.

02:31:05.000 Just one?

02:31:06.000 Only that guy?

02:31:07.000 No, it says drivers, but it always says drivers, whether it's one or not, because they don't want you to be able to narrow it down.

02:31:11.000 Write that down, dude.

02:31:13.000 There's something about getting in a lift with a stinky dude, and you roll the window down, and he rolls it up, and you roll it down again. 0.58

02:31:19.000 Because like I said, if I don't care about you, how can I tell you that the problem is the odor?

02:31:23.000 I know, but the problem is you guys aren't talking.

02:31:26.000 What's funny is you're not even having a conversation.

02:31:28.000 You're just rolling the windows down.

02:31:30.000 Because you know why?

02:31:34.000 What it is is The passive-aggressive, I'm going to roll the window up without saying anything, he's already at the point where he feels disrespected.

02:31:47.000 So I think to him, this is beyond talking.

02:31:50.000 Well, he shouldn't have a bullshit car that doesn't have a child lock.

02:31:53.000 For the windows?

02:31:54.000 Yeah.

02:31:54.000 Oh, maybe he did.

02:31:56.000 He didn't turn it on.

02:31:58.000 He likes the game.

02:31:59.000 Yeah.

02:32:00.000 And it's also me kind of being cowardly, but at the same time, I'm not trying to upset the motherfucker that's driving my car.

02:32:07.000 That's not cowardly.

02:32:09.000 That's not cowardly.

02:32:10.000 That's just being nice.

02:32:11.000 You're not going to change his smell over the next 40 minutes that you're in a car with him.

02:32:16.000 Yeah.

02:32:16.000 You're not changing his smell.

02:32:17.000 Because you know what it smelled like?

02:32:18.000 It smelled like he just ate some exotic food or something.

02:32:21.000 Maybe he did.

02:32:22.000 But he didn't air it out.

02:32:25.000 Some people get real sensitive to that if you're eating a lot of garlic or weird foods.

02:32:29.000 Yeah.

02:32:30.000 Some people are real sensitive to that.

02:32:34.000 Yeah, I mean, if you just put on what you're doing, like, you know, if it's fish or something, it's like, you gotta eat that shit at home.

02:32:38.000 You can't, like, bring, like, a baked piece of fish in a car.

02:32:42.000 I've seen so many fights on the subway, on the train, from people trying to eat on the train, and, you know, they open it up and there's something pungent.

02:32:50.000 And somebody's like, hey, man, what the fuck are you doing?

02:32:53.000 You know, and it turns into something.

02:32:55.000 That's funny.

02:32:56.000 That's a decision you made.

02:32:57.000 You know what you're doing.

02:32:58.000 If you open some food on the train, you're basically rolling the dice that nobody on this train has the balls to confront me about this.

02:33:05.000 Have you ever eaten durian?

02:33:07.000 What is that?

02:33:08.000 Durian is a fruit that in many hotels is illegal.

02:33:12.000 It's illegal to eat on a lot of planes.

02:33:15.000 Wow.

02:33:16.000 It has a rotten, disgusting smell to it.

02:33:19.000 It's the weirdest smell for a fruit.

02:33:21.000 It's not bad tasting.

02:33:25.000 It's one of those weird things where the smell is worse than the taste.

02:33:29.000 So why do people eat it?

02:33:30.000 They like it.

02:33:31.000 Some people like it.

02:33:32.000 It's a popular fruit.

02:33:35.000 Again, I ate that in Thailand.

02:33:36.000 That was in Thailand as well.

02:33:37.000 I was like, this is weird.

02:33:38.000 This durian stuff is so weird.

02:33:41.000 There's rules and regulations on a lot of airlines, a lot of hotels.

02:33:47.000 It's that weird.

02:33:48.000 I never heard of this.

02:33:49.000 I wish we had some in here.

02:33:50.000 I'll bring you some.

02:33:52.000 Show them a picture of what it looks like.

02:33:54.000 That's what it looks like.

02:33:55.000 Oh, why people love durian, the banned fruit that stinks like garbage.

02:33:59.000 The aroma of durian.

02:34:00.000 Look at this.

02:34:01.000 One of the most polarizing foods in the world.

02:34:03.000 It's hard to pin down, but there are some attempts people have made.

02:34:08.000 Limburger cheese, gym socks and turpentine, New York City's hot summer garbage, and pig droppings.

02:34:13.000 Oh, man.

02:34:14.000 So that's what it looks like.

02:34:15.000 That's all you gotta do to make me not eat some shit.

02:34:19.000 It smells like New York City.

02:34:21.000 But look how beautiful it is.

02:34:23.000 It's a beautiful piece of fruit, like all the little prickly things on the outside of it.

02:34:29.000 If you cut it open and eat it inside, it's just this rancid, weird, sweet, stinky thing.

02:34:35.000 Is the shitty smell coming from the white or the yellow?

02:34:38.000 The yellow stuff that you eat.

02:34:39.000 It stinks.

02:34:40.000 I mean, maybe the white stuff stinks too, but the yellow...

02:34:43.000 It's a weird thing because you would imagine that that's not good for you.

02:34:48.000 Because if you look at all the thorns and everything on the outside, that means nature doesn't necessarily...

02:34:52.000 I mean, I'm just guessing, but the nature doesn't really want you to eat it.

02:34:55.000 It's like hiding it from you.

02:34:56.000 It's hiding it inside this literally prickly armor, right?

02:35:01.000 Well, this plant has evolved this as a defense.

02:35:05.000 But the plant's probably like, come on, I got spikes, I stink!

02:35:08.000 But look at the nutrition profile.

02:35:11.000 Compared to a banana, a banana has 358 milligrams of potassium, but durian has 436. 2.6 grams of fiber for a banana, 3.8 for durian.

02:35:23.000 Folate, total 20 for the banana.

02:35:26.000 I don't know what a PG is.

02:35:28.000 And then 36 for durian.

02:35:30.000 And then vitamin C, 8.7 milligrams.

02:35:32.000 That's not convincing me, though.

02:35:33.000 Versus 19.7.

02:35:34.000 Yeah, it's super healthy for you.

02:35:36.000 Yeah, but that's the trade-off.

02:35:38.000 I would just trade off.

02:35:39.000 I'd rather be low on all that than eat a plant that smells like New York City garbage.

02:35:44.000 It doesn't smell quite that bad, but it doesn't smell good.

02:35:47.000 But to me, it's like if I want fruit, I want something that tastes good and smells good.

02:35:53.000 I want watermelon.

02:35:55.000 I want a peach.

02:35:57.000 I want a juicy, ripe peach.

02:35:59.000 If you open up one of those, it's going to become a discussion.

02:36:04.000 I don't want to be conflicted about what I'm eating.

02:36:07.000 I want to bite into a delicious orange.

02:36:11.000 You know you get the perfect orange?

02:36:13.000 An orange is like a dark orange and it's got a lot of life to it.

02:36:17.000 I'm a tangerine man.

02:36:18.000 I love tangerines.

02:36:19.000 Yeah, but see, there's asshole motherfuckers out there that'll bring a fruit salad to the function and it has that shit in it. 1.00

02:36:27.000 Oh my god, who does that?

02:36:29.000 There's assholes out there that'll do it. 0.98

02:36:31.000 Yeah, just to fuck with you.

02:36:32.000 It's like, this is my culture.

02:36:33.000 I'm like, fuck you.

02:36:34.000 When you bring shit to a potluck or something, you gotta bring shit you know everyone's eating.

02:36:37.000 Pineapple's tough to fuck with.

02:36:39.000 If it's hot outside, you got some cold pineapple, that's tough to beat.

02:36:43.000 It's because it's got a bite to it.

02:36:45.000 It's like chewy.

02:36:46.000 It's a good texture.

02:36:47.000 Oh my God, the sweetness of the pineapple.

02:36:49.000 You ever had a fresh one?

02:36:50.000 Oh yeah.

02:36:51.000 Yeah, there's nothing quite like it.

02:36:53.000 I mean, oh man, any good ass fruit.

02:36:55.000 Any fresh fruit is just great.

02:36:57.000 Even coconut milk, like right out of the thing when they hack the top of it with a machete and stick a straw in there.

02:37:03.000 God damn, that's good.

02:37:05.000 It's real good.

02:37:05.000 God damn, that's good.

02:37:07.000 Because there's things that taste good because you're supposed to eat them, right?

02:37:11.000 Like fruits.

02:37:12.000 They want you to eat them.

02:37:14.000 They're going, come on, look at me, I'm so pretty.

02:37:17.000 Come eat me.

02:37:18.000 And it's cliche too, but it's also like...

02:37:21.000 The environment you're eating them in.

02:37:23.000 So if you get some fresh pineapple in the morning, like when the sun coming up and you at the beach, you know something like that?

02:37:30.000 That's the ultimate shit.

02:37:32.000 Yeah.

02:37:32.000 Yeah, you just had a blunt, fresh pineapple cracked open right there, sunrise.

02:37:38.000 But fresh anything, right?

02:37:39.000 If you caught a fish right there at the beach and you fried it, like on a fire that you made, like right there, you had a little grill set up right there on the beach, and you just salt that bitch up, put a little olive oil on it.

02:37:51.000 Lay it on that little Weber grill.

02:37:53.000 Flip it over.

02:37:54.000 You can do all the fancy shit you want to meet.

02:37:57.000 But the fresh shit with just a little bit of salt.

02:38:00.000 And cooked over wood.

02:38:02.000 Like I've been doing a lot of that lately.

02:38:03.000 I've been doing a lot of that lately.

02:38:05.000 There's something about just cooking over firewood.

02:38:07.000 Whatever caveman shit that makes men enjoy grilling, there's clearly a thing.

02:38:13.000 Like, it's not just me.

02:38:15.000 It's been a fucking dad meme forever, right?

02:38:18.000 A theme that guys, the dad will be out there flipping the burgers and making the steaks.

02:38:23.000 It's always been the case.

02:38:24.000 Men like to cook over fire. 0.99

02:38:26.000 Women like to cook, and they like to cook over fire, but men really fucking like to cook over fire. 1.00

02:38:31.000 There's a power to it.

02:38:32.000 Well, there's something that connects us to some raw, primitive, like, it's like it excites parts of your brain where you're cooking meat over fire.

02:38:41.000 You know what I'd love to see you try?

02:38:42.000 And I would like to try it if you haven't tried it before.

02:38:45.000 What?

02:38:45.000 So I don't know if you ever, and this blew my mind because I just learned this like a few months ago.

02:38:50.000 There's a Brazilian cow.

02:38:53.000 Oh, yeah, I know about that.

02:38:54.000 And it has a hump.

02:38:56.000 And that hump is a specific cut of meat you can only get from Brazilian cows.

02:39:01.000 I forget what it's called, though.

02:39:03.000 I forget what it's called, too.

02:39:04.000 But Brazilians know what the fuck they're doing, man. 1.00

02:39:07.000 Nobody does it better.

02:39:09.000 Chuhascarias? 0.98

02:39:10.000 Coopin.

02:39:11.000 Coopin.

02:39:11.000 Traditional meat cut from Brazil.

02:39:14.000 A beef hump of a Brazilian... 1.00

02:39:16.000 It's a zebu cattle.

02:39:17.000 Interesting.

02:39:18.000 It's a tender, rich, and marbled cut of meat.

02:39:20.000 Woo! 0.99

02:39:21.000 Bro, they figured it out.

02:39:23.000 Those chujas carillas is the greatest fucking invention in all of culinary foods.

02:39:27.000 What is a chujas carilla?

02:39:28.000 You never been?

02:39:28.000 No.

02:39:29.000 Oh my God.

02:39:29.000 Is that just a Brazilian steakhouse?

02:39:30.000 Have you ever been to Fogo de Chao or any of those places?

02:39:32.000 Oh my God, Brian.

02:39:34.000 What the fuck are you saying to me?

02:39:35.000 You have to go.

02:39:36.000 I wish we could go right now.

02:39:37.000 Maybe we should go.

02:39:38.000 Maybe we should go before the show.

02:39:39.000 It's quarter to five.

02:39:41.000 Quarter?

02:39:41.000 Okay.

02:39:42.000 What it is, is they have fire and then skewers of meat.

02:39:46.000 They're set up around the fire.

02:39:48.000 And you have a card.

02:39:50.000 And on one side of the card is green and one side of the card is red.

02:39:54.000 So when you have it green, you leave it up and they just come over with all kinds of foods.

02:40:00.000 They have like chicken wrapped in bacon and garlic beef and picanha.

02:40:07.000 I like that.

02:40:07.000 All of it is cooked over and they never stop.

02:40:09.000 They never stop coming to you.

02:40:10.000 And they give you tongs and they slice it off of the skewer right there by your table and you put that shit in your plate and within 10 minutes you're like, I can't eat anymore.

02:40:18.000 And they keep coming.

02:40:20.000 They keep coming.

02:40:21.000 They're bringing over pork ribs and oh my god, it's phenomenal.

02:40:25.000 It's one of my favorite places to eat.

02:40:26.000 What did you call it?

02:40:27.000 It's called a churrascaria.

02:40:29.000 Churrascaria.

02:40:30.000 It's a Brazilian term.

02:40:32.000 I ate one in Sao Paulo.

02:40:34.000 I've eaten at them in Rio, in Brazil.

02:40:37.000 It's pretty fucking dope.

02:40:38.000 It's a style of cooking that they invented in Brazil.

02:40:43.000 Isn't it just like in the oven?

02:40:47.000 But it's the style of restaurant.

02:40:49.000 It's not an oven.

02:40:50.000 They just have wood that's burning in a pit.

02:40:52.000 And then they have these steaks that are around it.

02:40:55.000 And they generally, like, see if we can show how they cook it.

02:40:58.000 You can see it.

02:40:59.000 Oh, so it's a Portuguese word for barbecue.

02:41:01.000 That's what it is.

02:41:02.000 So you can see the way they cook it.

02:41:05.000 There's videos of it where they have, like, the fire in the center.

02:41:09.000 But everything's moving around.

02:41:10.000 Everything's open flame cooking.

02:41:12.000 Yeah, most of it.

02:41:13.000 Or this one's not.

02:41:14.000 This one's doing it a different way.

02:41:15.000 But it depends on the place.

02:41:17.000 Like some places, they actually do it over live fire.

02:41:20.000 And some places, they do it over these kind of ovens. 0.98

02:41:23.000 But the key is that everything's rotating.

02:41:25.000 And so they cook it on the outside.

02:41:26.000 And then they bring it to you and slice the outside of it off onto your plate.

02:41:30.000 And then they put the rest of it back over the fire.

02:41:33.000 So it keeps slowly cooking and slowly browning the outside.

02:41:37.000 It's like, you brought in that shit.

02:41:39.000 You're like, oh!

02:41:39.000 That's incredible.

02:41:40.000 It's so good.

02:41:42.000 Dude, I love that kind of...

02:41:43.000 I love an expert.

02:41:44.000 We talked about this before.

02:41:46.000 There was a Peruvian chicken spot at the bottom of my high-rise when I lived in Virginia.

02:41:55.000 And everybody I brought there was like, oh really?

02:41:57.000 Like a chicken spot at the bottom of an apartment building?

02:41:59.000 And everybody I brought there was like, holy shit, all they made was chicken.

02:42:03.000 All they made was these little rotisserie chickens would just spin all day long and drip juices on each other. 0.97

02:42:09.000 It was like a giant wheel that would do that.

02:42:11.000 We had a place like that in Calabasas that went under because the dude didn't want to switch to credit cards.

02:42:16.000 Oh yeah, you said you would buy it.

02:42:18.000 Oh my god, it was amazing.

02:42:20.000 They went under because the guy, he would only take cash.

02:42:23.000 He never wanted to switch over to credit.

02:42:24.000 People were like, I don't have enough fucking cash.

02:42:26.000 Come on, take a credit card.

02:42:27.000 Anybody carrying around $300?

02:42:28.000 They had a big copper-colored oven in the middle of their store, which was like, they built it.

02:42:36.000 It's a Starbucks now.

02:42:38.000 But back when I was first living there in the 90s, it was this big-ass wood-fired oven.

02:42:44.000 And they'd be constantly throwing wood into this pit.

02:42:47.000 They had stacks of firewood.

02:42:48.000 This is like in Calabasas.

02:42:50.000 And they have this giant rotisserie that's spinning around with all these chickens on it.

02:42:54.000 And it was the best chicken you've ever had in your life.

02:42:57.000 They had it down to a science, because that's all they cooked was chicken.

02:43:00.000 And they had a few other things, like they made like pastrami Rubens and a couple...

02:43:05.000 But if you were there, you were there for the fucking chicken.

02:43:07.000 The chicken was out of control.

02:43:09.000 It was out of control.

02:43:10.000 It was so...

02:43:10.000 The spice, they just had it down.

02:43:12.000 The right amount of butter, the right amount of spice.

02:43:16.000 Yeah.

02:43:16.000 But it went under!

02:43:18.000 Is that Chix? 1.00

02:43:19.000 Yeah.

02:43:19.000 There it is.

02:43:20.000 How can your shit be that good when you go out of business?

02:43:21.000 Bro, that's what it looked like.

02:43:22.000 That's what it looked like.

02:43:23.000 So they had all these chickens spinning around.

02:43:25.000 He went out of business because he didn't want to fucking take credit cards.

02:43:29.000 They had been around for like 25 years.

02:43:32.000 The only Mexican-Jewish restaurant in town.

02:43:35.000 It was Mexican and Jewish.

02:43:37.000 They were the shit.

02:43:38.000 Damn.

02:43:39.000 It says Woodland Hills.

02:43:40.000 I guess it was Woodland Hills.

02:43:41.000 I wonder if you can find that guy and get the recipe.

02:43:44.000 Well, you would need that kind of a grill, too.

02:43:47.000 There's a thing about those oven grills.

02:43:49.000 That's why people love Kamados.

02:43:50.000 You know what a Kamado is?

02:43:51.000 A Kamado is like a big green egg.

02:43:54.000 That's a famous Kamado or Kamado Joe.

02:43:56.000 It's a special kind of grill that's lined mostly with ceramic.

02:44:02.000 And it creates like this, there's a heat and there's a way it retains moisture in these like ceramic grills that has a certain special flavor that imparts in food.

02:44:14.000 People really love it.

02:44:15.000 It's like a very popular way to slow cook things.

02:44:19.000 A lot of people really enjoy slow cooking things in a Kamado.

02:44:23.000 You never seen one of them before?

02:44:24.000 No.

02:44:25.000 Pull up a Komodo Kamado.

02:44:28.000 It's like the most impressive company.

02:44:30.000 I had one of those when I lived in California.

02:44:32.000 But I left it at the house I sold because it was too heavy to move.

02:44:38.000 But a Komodo Kamado is a...

02:44:41.000 So you have to have it like built in?

02:44:43.000 No, no, they wheel them in.

02:44:45.000 But this was a really pretty one, and the thing about it was, it's like these Kamados, like, you can get one from Weber, like the same company that makes them kettle grills.

02:44:54.000 They make a Kamado, a real nice one.

02:44:56.000 If I was going to buy one, I'd probably buy that one because it's steel.

02:45:00.000 It retains heat and it does all the things that the other one does.

02:45:04.000 It's really well insulated by design, but also it's light.

02:45:09.000 It's not impossible to carry.

02:45:11.000 These motherfuckers, I had one of those. 1.00

02:45:13.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:45:15.000 I've heard them call something else.

02:45:16.000 It's a Kamado grill.

02:45:18.000 See that one in the center?

02:45:20.000 I had one like that.

02:45:21.000 The big blue one that's in the middle?

02:45:23.000 I had one like that.

02:45:23.000 And it's that heavy?

02:45:25.000 Oh my God, it was so heavy.

02:45:26.000 It was covered in tile.

02:45:28.000 That's a Kamado Joe.

02:45:30.000 But the one I had was this Kamado Kamado.

02:45:35.000 That one in the lower right, right to the side, to the right cursor of where you are.

02:45:38.000 Yeah, that thing.

02:45:40.000 That's one by the same company.

02:45:42.000 That's the biggest one they make.

02:45:43.000 I had the circular one.

02:45:49.000 The scale was off in my head.

02:45:50.000 No, they're huge.

02:45:51.000 That's insane.

02:45:52.000 That one's way bigger than the one I had.

02:45:53.000 I had that one, the one in the middle, Jamie.

02:45:55.000 The one in the middle, right there.

02:45:57.000 That's what I had.

02:45:58.000 So that was like the medium size.

02:45:59.000 That one says 23 inches.

02:46:01.000 That was about as big as mine was.

02:46:03.000 What were you cooking on that?

02:46:05.000 That's the thing.

02:46:05.000 Mostly I just cook steak.

02:46:07.000 Mostly I'm grilling meat.

02:46:08.000 I try to do a bunch of other stuff, but what I like to...

02:46:11.000 I eat meat.

02:46:12.000 That's what I do.

02:46:13.000 I eat mostly meat.

02:46:14.000 Like, I feel at my best when I'm eating a lot of meat.

02:46:18.000 And I don't like to...

02:46:20.000 When I fuck around with bread, I do it just for the taste.

02:46:23.000 When I eat pasta, I know I'm paying a price.

02:46:26.000 It's like the way I feel if I do shots of tequila.

02:46:28.000 Like, okay.

02:46:29.000 Right.

02:46:30.000 I know what we're doing.

02:46:31.000 We're just going to enjoy this for a little bit, but we're going to have to do some recovery work.

02:46:34.000 Yeah, you're like, I'm going to put this in the bank.

02:46:36.000 Yeah.

02:46:37.000 But those things are, you know, people like that kind of cooking.

02:46:42.000 Oh, yeah.

02:46:44.000 And if you cook on those things, man, there's something about that.

02:46:48.000 And you're putting wood in that basket?

02:46:50.000 Well, you can.

02:46:51.000 You can put wood in there.

02:46:52.000 Some people do, but most of the time you use lump charcoal.

02:46:56.000 But I've been cooking on one of these Argentina-style grills.

02:47:00.000 When you crank the thing, click, [...

02:47:02.000 It goes up or down.

02:47:03.000 And I've been cooking on straight firewood, like logs of oak logs.

02:47:08.000 Man, there's something exciting about that.

02:47:10.000 Really?

02:47:10.000 Yeah, something exciting about it.

02:47:12.000 The wood makes a difference?

02:47:13.000 It makes a difference.

02:47:14.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:47:14.000 The smoke makes a difference.

02:47:16.000 You smell it in the meat.

02:47:18.000 But there's something about cooking outside over fire and you're looking at the fire and hearing the meat crackling and taking in the smells.

02:47:26.000 It's part of the experience.

02:47:27.000 It's almost like foreplay to your dinner.

02:47:30.000 Well, you're obviously eating shit that you've killed.

02:47:32.000 See, I've never done that.

02:47:33.000 Yeah, but even if I eat a domestic steak, even if I have a nice grass-fed ribeye, I'll put a little bit of garlic in the pan, and I'll put some butter and some rosemary,

02:47:52.000 get some fucking herbal scents on that meat and baste it on top of it, too. 0.99

02:47:58.000 There's something exciting about cooking over fire, man.

02:48:03.000 It's been a long time since I did that.

02:48:04.000 I'll still cook in a pellet grill and I'll sear on a cast iron frying pan and I love cooking.

02:48:10.000 But there's something about fire.

02:48:12.000 It brings out a thing in people.

02:48:15.000 Where that genetic memory that we were talking about, it reminds us of how thrilling it was to be cooking a piece of meat that you killed over a fire because that meant your family was gonna live.

02:48:26.000 That means you're going to survive another day.

02:48:28.000 You weren't going to be hungry in the morning.

02:48:30.000 And that means your children might be able to carry on and live.

02:48:34.000 Because most people died.

02:48:36.000 I mean, imagine what it was like living half a million years ago.

02:48:39.000 A million years ago.

02:48:40.000 Most people didn't survive childhood.

02:48:42.000 Yeah, most people.

02:48:43.000 And if you did, you probably got eaten by a jaguar.

02:48:46.000 That's why everybody's scared of monsters.

02:48:48.000 Why are little kids scared of monsters?

02:48:50.000 They're not scared of bank robbers and fucking car accidents.

02:48:53.000 They're scared of monsters because of some weird fucking memory of cats eating us.

02:48:57.000 Really?

02:48:57.000 Yeah, Rupert Sheldrake talked about that.

02:48:59.000 He was talking about this idea of memory that's innately attached to people.

02:49:07.000 That's probably the origin of that one.

02:49:10.000 The idea of being scared of something with big teeth that hides in the dark.

02:49:15.000 What is that?

02:49:16.000 It's a cat!

02:49:17.000 It's a big cat.

02:49:18.000 You think about where we evolved.

02:49:20.000 We evolved in a place that's filled with big cats.

02:49:23.000 And there's so much evidence that ancient humans and ancient hominids were eaten by cats.

02:49:30.000 There's so much evidence.

02:49:31.000 Especially something that's quicker than you.

02:49:33.000 Oh my god.

02:49:34.000 Not just quick.

02:49:35.000 Why wouldn't it eat you?

02:49:36.000 What are the easiest things to eat?

02:49:37.000 We can't even fight back.

02:49:39.000 What are we gonna do?

02:49:40.000 If we don't have a weapon, we're fucked.

02:49:43.000 Yeah, we can build traps.

02:49:45.000 Yeah.

02:49:48.000 There was a horrible fucking picture of a little baby monkey clinging to its mother while its mother was in a leopard's mouth.

02:49:58.000 So its mother, the leopard has its mother's head like completely crushed in its mouth and it's walking with this dead monkey and the little monkey's like clinging to the body of its mother as it's being carried away.

02:50:12.000 Look at that.

02:50:13.000 Right there.

02:50:14.000 Bro.

02:50:15.000 Oh, shit.

02:50:16.000 Oh, shit.

02:50:17.000 Indeed, man.

02:50:18.000 You gotta drop off, son.

02:50:20.000 I mean, what do you do?

02:50:22.000 It doesn't matter if you drop off.

02:50:23.000 You can't go anywhere.

02:50:23.000 That's why you're clinging to your mother in the first place.

02:50:26.000 That's not the same one, is it?

02:50:28.000 It happens, apparently?

02:50:30.000 Or what?

02:50:30.000 I'm sure it happens.

02:50:31.000 The mothers are more vulnerable when they're carrying the baby. 0.99

02:50:33.000 That's a lot of extra weight.

02:50:36.000 Damn, this is sad as fuck, man.

02:50:37.000 Look at that picture.

02:50:38.000 Look at that cat.

02:50:39.000 Look at what it says.

02:50:40.000 Look at that cat looking at that monkey.

02:50:42.000 Cunning Leopard uses baby monkey as bait to lure adults towards it.

02:50:46.000 Oh my god.

02:50:47.000 I can't even look at this.

02:50:51.000 Oh my god, that's so demonic.

02:50:53.000 But then again, so is Chick-fil-A. True.

02:50:56.000 Chick-fil-A's demonic too. 0.68

02:50:58.000 Somewhere there's a gigantic warehouse filled with chickens stuffed into cages waiting to be turned into sandwiches.

02:51:04.000 Just for clarity, this one says that it adopted the baby baboon after it killed its mom.

02:51:08.000 Oh my god.

02:51:10.000 He's like, we can use you as bait from now on, son.

02:51:13.000 Adopted the baby baboon.

02:51:14.000 That's just some animal rights asshole.

02:51:17.000 Bullshitting.

02:51:18.000 He probably ate it eventually.

02:51:19.000 Yeah, all those pictures from the same day.

02:51:20.000 Probably wasn't hungry yet.

02:51:22.000 Yeah, he wasn't hungry yet.

02:51:23.000 He ate its mom.

02:51:24.000 Making a bigger meal?

02:51:25.000 He's waiting.

02:51:26.000 Yeah, why don't you get bigger?

02:51:27.000 I'll just hold you.

02:51:28.000 You're not going anywhere.

02:51:29.000 I'll keep you right here because I get hungry.

02:51:31.000 I need a midnight snack.

02:51:32.000 He's like, that's the first she to discover farming?

02:51:35.000 Yeah, find out how long that fucking baby monkey stayed alive. 1.00

02:51:37.000 Look at it.

02:51:38.000 It's licking it.

02:51:38.000 Oh, God.

02:51:39.000 I might not even be realistic.

02:51:40.000 Photoshop a little bit.

02:51:41.000 Look at that.

02:51:42.000 Leopard takes care of baby monkey after hunting his mother.

02:51:45.000 Jesus Christ.

02:51:46.000 Yeah, that does look kind of photoshopped, the one you own right now, the big one.

02:51:49.000 This is on Facebook, too.

02:51:49.000 That's why I'm not giving it credit.

02:51:53.000 I don't know.

02:51:54.000 It looks real to me.

02:51:55.000 Well, it's bad life.

02:51:56.000 I want to believe.

02:51:57.000 Like, this one's not.

02:51:57.000 What's going on down there?

02:51:59.000 Bro, this is real.

02:52:00.000 All of it's real.

02:52:01.000 That's a real face.

02:52:03.000 It's definitely not photoshopped.

02:52:05.000 Oh, this one?

02:52:07.000 It looks like it's a scene from The Lion King.

02:52:09.000 I don't think that's real either.

02:52:10.000 Oh my god.

02:52:11.000 That's probably real, dude.

02:52:14.000 No, bro, that's probably real.

02:52:15.000 Look, it's a series of images.

02:52:16.000 It's real.

02:52:17.000 What is that?

02:52:18.000 An American Eagle?

02:52:19.000 That one's fake.

02:52:21.000 That one's not even in that tree.

02:52:22.000 Yeah, that's totally fake.

02:52:24.000 That's like a glitch in the Matrix.

02:52:27.000 Yeah, fuck living in that world.

02:52:29.000 But that's probably why people are afraid of monsters.

02:52:32.000 You know, because they know that.

02:52:33.000 They know that's possible.

02:52:36.000 Yeah, especially like the unknown shit.

02:52:40.000 Yeah.

02:52:41.000 You know the Vsauce guy?

02:52:44.000 You ever had him on?

02:52:45.000 Yeah, I had Vsauce on way back in the day.

02:52:47.000 Yeah, but I remember him talking about the difference between terror and horror.

02:52:53.000 He has this whole thing with the Uncanny Valley and all of that, but he was talking about how the unknown is horror.

02:53:01.000 It's the sound you heard.

02:53:03.000 Like you know someone's in the house, but you don't know what it is.

02:53:07.000 The terror is like, there's a lion right there.

02:53:10.000 But the horror is, what the fuck was that?

02:53:13.000 Right, that makes sense.

02:53:15.000 Something ran by, what the fuck was it?

02:53:16.000 That's why all those classic H.P. Lovecraft shit, that's why you don't see the monster to the end.

02:53:24.000 They don't describe him in this very general sense, so you can make it up in your head.

02:53:29.000 Well, my favorite monster movie of all time is American Werewolf in London.

02:53:33.000 That and Alien, the original Alien.

02:53:35.000 And in both of those movies, you don't really get to see the animal or the alien until the end.

02:53:42.000 Like, you see flash images of it until late into the movie.

02:53:45.000 Right.

02:53:46.000 You know, like, American Werewolf in London, you see a quick glimpse.

02:53:49.000 Like, one of the best scenes in the movie was a businessman in the tunnel.

02:53:52.000 He's in the subway.

02:53:53.000 And this guy's just hanging out, looking at his watch, waiting for the train.

02:53:58.000 And then you hear...

02:54:01.000 And he's like, what the fuck is that?

02:54:03.000 And you see him looking, and he starts talking like, who's there?

02:54:07.000 Who's there?

02:54:08.000 And then you see him see the werewolf, and you just see him.

02:54:12.000 See if you can find that scene.

02:54:15.000 Businessman in the subway.

02:54:17.000 What do they call it?

02:54:18.000 The tube in London?

02:54:20.000 And at the end of the scene, the werewolf is at the bottom of the escalator.

02:54:25.000 The guy's running up the escalator, drops his briefcase, papers flying everywhere.

02:54:29.000 And at the end of the scene, the werewolf just moves into phase.

02:54:34.000 Give me some volume on this.

02:54:35.000 Is that Christian Bale?

02:54:36.000 No.

02:54:37.000 No, no.

02:54:37.000 Some regular dude.

02:54:39.000 This is 1981. So here's that.

02:54:53.000 Bro, this movie's so good.

02:54:55.000 John Landis was an absolute animal.

02:55:10.000 It's so British.

02:55:13.000 And then somewhere along the line, he realizes things behind him.

02:55:20.000 Watch, he's going up the escalator.

02:55:25.000 And then he sees it.

02:55:32.000 And you see he doesn't believe it.

02:55:34.000 And then the motherfucker's in a full-on panic.

02:55:36.000 He's like, what the fuck did I just see?

02:55:39.000 And then he goes up the second flight of stairs.

02:55:42.000 Then he hears it behind him.

02:55:45.000 And then he sees it.

02:55:52.000 So you see it from the wolf's eyes as it runs towards him.

02:55:56.000 This poor fucking guy.

02:55:57.000 Meanwhile, he's still got his briefcase.

02:55:59.000 Yeah, fuck that briefcase.

02:56:00.000 I hang that umbrella.

02:56:07.000 No cardios.

02:56:08.000 Dude, that's zero cardio.

02:56:09.000 They're supposed to have that tie off by now.

02:56:12.000 I would hold on to the...

02:56:14.000 Under a normal circumstance, I would hold on to that fucking...

02:56:18.000 You better not pick that shit up.

02:56:19.000 Oh my god, he picked up the briefcase.

02:56:21.000 He's falling apart.

02:56:22.000 He's falling apart.

02:56:23.000 No cardio.

02:56:24.000 He decided to die.

02:56:26.000 This is my favorite scene in the whole movie.

02:56:29.000 The guy's climbing up.

02:56:31.000 Look at this.

02:56:32.000 Look at that thing coming to play.

02:56:35.000 Imagine seeing that.

02:56:38.000 See, they didn't show you much.

02:56:40.000 They showed you enough.

02:56:44.000 Come on, son.

02:56:46.000 The tension was crazy.

02:56:48.000 It's an amazing scene.

02:56:49.000 God, what a fucking dumb guy.

02:56:51.000 That's an amazing scene in a horror movie where they didn't have to show you much.

02:56:55.000 Rick Baker made the...

02:56:56.000 And our old studio in L.A., you never went to the old one, did you?

02:56:59.000 No.

02:57:00.000 The old one in L.A. had an American werewolf in London that greeted people at the front door.

02:57:05.000 Why'd you leave it?

02:57:06.000 I'm going to bring it back, but I actually ordered a new one, and the new one, the guy who makes it, Pat McGee, made me...

02:57:13.000 He made an even better one.

02:57:16.000 That guy...

02:57:17.000 You could tell, too, that that guy wasn't even going to fight.

02:57:20.000 No, he gave up.

02:57:21.000 I'm going to send you a meme, Jamie.

02:57:25.000 I don't know what it is, man, but people that have no fight in them, I just...

02:57:29.000 Yeah, you're supposed to feel like that.

02:57:30.000 Because if you were in a situation with them, if they're a part of your village, and shit went down, and that guy falls apart like that, you're like, you bitch.

02:57:38.000 Jesus Christ.

02:57:39.000 Even if the odds are insurmountable, even if it's like Jason Voorhees standing in front of you, you're not even gonna throw a punch?

02:57:45.000 Dude, I'd way rather have Jason in front of me than that fucking thing.

02:57:49.000 Nah, no, yeah.

02:57:49.000 A creature?

02:57:50.000 No.

02:57:50.000 Jason still has limbs.

02:57:52.000 He keeps the mask on.

02:57:54.000 He's not even biting you.

02:57:55.000 What's he gonna do?

02:57:56.000 His mom still makes him cry.

02:57:59.000 I feel like if you had like a good solid shotgun, multiple shells, I think you got Jason.

02:58:05.000 You just blow his knees apart.

02:58:06.000 But even that creature...

02:58:08.000 That thing's lunging at you. 0.98

02:58:09.000 You know you got no chance.

02:58:11.000 But you at least gonna kick or spit at something.

02:58:15.000 This is a meme that's my dog and the American Werewolf in London.

02:58:22.000 They use this picture for so many memes.

02:58:25.000 Yeah, meme template.

02:58:26.000 Yeah, it's like one of those...

02:58:28.000 See, Omicron in reality is my dog, Marshall.

02:58:30.000 And Omicron in the media is American Werewolf in London.

02:58:33.000 That was the werewolf?

02:58:34.000 Yeah, that's what it looks like at my studio.

02:58:38.000 And that's Marshall.

02:58:40.000 What's crazy to think that that dog on the left, his lineage is a wolf.

02:58:46.000 Somewhere in his history, there was a wolf.

02:58:51.000 Like, that's what made a dog.

02:58:54.000 Just like we came from ancient hominids, they came from wolves. 0.99

02:58:57.000 But they didn't even come from wolves that long ago.

02:59:00.000 That's what's crazy.

02:59:01.000 Yeah.

02:59:02.000 Like, we came from ancient hominids hundreds of thousands of years ago, but dogs?

02:59:06.000 When did they come out of wolves?

02:59:08.000 I watched some shit recently, I think it was on Netflix, where they were talking about coy wolves.

02:59:13.000 Yeah.

02:59:13.000 Yes.

02:59:14.000 They're a mixed breed between coyotes and wolves.

02:59:17.000 Most coyotes are descendants of wolves.

02:59:22.000 They're the most clever of wolves.

02:59:24.000 They can breed with red wolves.

02:59:29.000 They're genetically dissimilar to gray wolves.

02:59:33.000 The thing about what happened in America was ranchers and farmers poisoned off the wolves.

02:59:40.000 And until they reintroduced them to Yellowstone in the 1990s, there was very few wolves on the West Coast, in the West, the Western wilderness, because they'd killed them all.

02:59:50.000 But they never could kill the coyotes.

02:59:52.000 Because every time they tried to kill the coyotes, the coyotes would just expand.

02:59:55.000 So they expanded their territory over the entire country.

02:59:58.000 There's coyotes in every single city in this country.

03:00:01.000 Everywhere.

03:00:01.000 Everyone.

03:00:02.000 And the ones you don't see, like every time you see one, there's like 25. But they got that way out of a need to survive against the wolves originally.

03:00:12.000 Because when the gray wolves were coming in from Canada and wherever they would meet coyotes, they would kill them.

03:00:18.000 So the coyotes had to figure out a way to survive.

03:00:22.000 And one of the ways they figured out how to survive is to constantly evolve their territory, constantly expand their territory.

03:00:26.000 And then also when one coyote dies, when they do that roll call, when they, yeah, yeah, With one missing, it causes the females to make more babies. 1.00

03:00:38.000 Oh, shit.

03:00:39.000 The females have more pups.

03:00:40.000 There's a great book called Coyote America by this guy Dan Flores, who was a professor.

03:00:46.000 He taught my friend Steve Rinella, and then Steve introduced me to him, and I had a guest on the podcast.

03:00:54.000 But he's an expert in wildlife and the history of wildlife in North America, and that's one of the things that he's fascinated with is a coyote.

03:01:03.000 What makes coy wolves so dangerous?

03:01:06.000 Well, they're not more dangerous, because a coyote, rather, is a wolf.

03:01:10.000 A coy wolf is just a larger version of it, and it's just a hybrid.

03:01:13.000 They're bigger than coyotes and smaller than wolves.

03:01:16.000 Yeah, it's like a small wolf.

03:01:17.000 Well, a coyote is a small wolf, right?

03:01:20.000 But a big coyote is like 50 pounds.

03:01:22.000 That's big.

03:01:22.000 That's a big fucking coyote.

03:01:24.000 You see a 50-pound coyote.

03:01:25.000 How big do coyotes get?

03:01:27.000 I'm guessing that 50 pounds is the range.

03:01:31.000 I had that.

03:01:31.000 Sorry, I was comparing it to wolves as you were saying.

03:01:33.000 I thought it did.

03:01:34.000 No, it's like half the size of a wolf.

03:01:36.000 Hybrids, but not separate species.

03:01:37.000 So there's gray wolf, eastern wolf, red wolf.

03:01:40.000 About 20 to 50 pounds?

03:01:42.000 Yeah, so a 50-pound coyote is a big-ass coyote.

03:01:45.000 80 to 120-pound wolf, yeah, they get a little bigger.

03:01:48.000 Like, you might see a 150-pound wolf, maybe even a little bigger than that, but that's like in Canada.

03:01:53.000 There's a thing also that mammals in cold climates tend to be larger than mammals in hot climates.

03:02:00.000 That's why the Mexican wolf is a smaller wolf.

03:02:03.000 Or a California deer is a good example.

03:02:06.000 Texas deer, too.

03:02:07.000 Small.

03:02:08.000 But Saskatchewan deer, huge.

03:02:11.000 More than twice the size.

03:02:13.000 A big-ass Saskatchewan buck might be 300 pounds.

03:02:17.000 But a Texas buck, if it's 150, that's unusual.

03:02:20.000 That's a big-ass deer. 1.00

03:02:21.000 Really?

03:02:22.000 Yeah, they're not that big.

03:02:23.000 They're little out here.

03:02:25.000 Little baby.

03:02:25.000 You know anybody that has an actual wolf as a pet?

03:02:28.000 It's illegal in a lot of places.

03:02:29.000 I knew a guy who had one that was part wolf.

03:02:32.000 He had three of them that were part wolf.

03:02:34.000 And they were so dangerous.

03:02:35.000 They would get out and they would wipe out a nearby ranch or sheep.

03:02:40.000 They would get out and just kill eight or nine sheep for a goof.

03:02:44.000 Yeah.

03:02:45.000 They get together.

03:02:45.000 They were around other animals.

03:02:47.000 Like, that's what they love to do.

03:02:48.000 Kill them?

03:02:48.000 So they find, like, a bunch of sheep that are stuck in a pen.

03:02:51.000 They're like, oh shit.

03:02:52.000 And they just hopped the pen fence and just tore them apart.

03:02:55.000 They killed, like, I think they killed eight or nine of this guy's sheep.

03:02:59.000 And they don't listen.

03:03:00.000 That's what start them family feuds. 1.00

03:03:02.000 They're not listening either.

03:03:04.000 Where?

03:03:04.000 You can't train them?

03:03:04.000 Like, sit.

03:03:05.000 Fuck you.

03:03:06.000 Like, fuck you.

03:03:07.000 They're like cats.

03:03:08.000 Somebody told me recently, like, we haven't actually domesticated cats yet.

03:03:11.000 Not really.

03:03:12.000 I mean, a little bit.

03:03:13.000 But a wolf is a different animal, man.

03:03:16.000 They're not listening to you.

03:03:16.000 They're not listening to you, right?

03:03:17.000 No.

03:03:18.000 You're their friend.

03:03:19.000 You're not their dad.

03:03:20.000 You're not the boss.

03:03:21.000 It may have been the first guy that got one of them things to fucking listen to.

03:03:24.000 And they're like, oh, we gotta breed them.

03:03:26.000 We gotta get...

03:03:26.000 They definitely listen a little.

03:03:29.000 I mean, they listen better than wild wolves.

03:03:31.000 Wild wolves just fuck you up.

03:03:32.000 And if you raise a wolf, it kind of has a relationship with you.

03:03:35.000 But it's never gonna be like a German Shepherd that just listens.

03:03:39.000 Right.

03:03:39.000 Because it's not even about the...

03:03:41.000 Because they hear you, but they just don't care about pleasing you.

03:03:44.000 Yeah.

03:03:44.000 The way like a domesticated dog does.

03:03:47.000 You just nailed it.

03:03:48.000 That's exactly what it is.

03:03:49.000 A regular dog is obsessed with pleasing you.

03:03:52.000 Yeah.

03:03:53.000 And those dogs, oh my cat, they don't give a fuck if you're happy about anything.

03:03:56.000 Yeah.

03:03:57.000 I think they literally raised dogs out of wolves where the ones that became dogs were the ones who were compliant.

03:04:06.000 They did this thing with, I think it was foxes.

03:04:12.000 Yes.

03:04:13.000 There was a podcast about it on Radiolab, and they were talking about how quickly, within a few generations, of every time they had a fox, they would have these foxes, they were caged foxes, and every time they had a fox, they would reach into the cage, and the fox would growl at them,

03:04:30.000 or snap at them, they'd kill it.

03:04:32.000 And so all the ones that lived were the ones who weren't interested in being aggressive.

03:04:38.000 And so after a while, their ears started drooping.

03:04:40.000 And it's only like a couple years worth of breeding like this.

03:04:43.000 Their ears started drooping.

03:04:45.000 Their snouts shrunk.

03:04:46.000 Their teeth got smaller.

03:04:48.000 Their jawbones got weaker.

03:04:50.000 Everything changed.

03:04:51.000 They literally changed within a couple generations.

03:04:54.000 That's how strong the influence of the environment is.

03:04:58.000 Are foxes related to wolves?

03:05:01.000 It's kind of like a canine, right?

03:05:02.000 Some kind of a canine.

03:05:04.000 I don't think they're directly related.

03:05:05.000 Nobody has pet foxes.

03:05:07.000 Really?

03:05:07.000 No, I don't think they do.

03:05:09.000 But if they do, foxes are probably great pets because they'll play with people in the wild.

03:05:15.000 Like that Grizzly Man movie?

03:05:16.000 Ever see that movie?

03:05:17.000 No.

03:05:18.000 Grizzly Man is a movie about a dude who basically committed suicide by a bear.

03:05:22.000 It's a Werner Herzog film.

03:05:23.000 Yeah, I've heard about it for sure.

03:05:25.000 You need to see it.

03:05:26.000 I can't believe you haven't seen it.

03:05:27.000 It's the craziest movie probably I've ever seen in my life.

03:05:29.000 This guy was out of his fucking mind.

03:05:31.000 This guy was hanging out with these bears like, I'm protecting these bears.

03:05:34.000 No one's protecting these bears.

03:05:36.000 This fucking park service, they're not helping these bears.

03:05:38.000 The guy was crazy.

03:05:40.000 And meanwhile, the bears had no idea he was alive.

03:05:42.000 They're just walking around him.

03:05:43.000 He's like, I'm here for you.

03:05:44.000 I'm here for you, honey.

03:05:45.000 Like the bear would take a shit.

03:05:47.000 He would pick it up.

03:05:47.000 This is, this was just in her body.

03:05:49.000 This is her poop. 0.99

03:05:50.000 He's holding her shit.

03:05:51.000 The guy was out of his fucking mind.

03:05:52.000 And eventually the bears killed him and ate him.

03:05:54.000 This was in your body?

03:05:55.000 Bro, you have to see it.

03:05:56.000 That's funny as shit.

03:05:57.000 One of my favorite scenes in the movie, there was an old sheriff.

03:06:00.000 And the old sheriff was talking about, you know, Werner Herzog, who's like, I guess he's German.

03:06:05.000 Is he German?

03:06:06.000 Where's Werner Herzog from?

03:06:08.000 But he has this way of talking, and he is the narrator.

03:06:12.000 And he's talking to the sheriff.

03:06:18.000 This is how he's narrating.

03:06:19.000 And the sheriff goes, I thought he was retarded! 1.00

03:06:21.000 And when the sheriff says that, he's like, no!

03:06:25.000 No!

03:06:26.000 That's funny.

03:06:28.000 And then they talk to the guy who scared the bear off of his body.

03:06:31.000 The guy was flying over in a plane and looked down and saw his rib cage, and the bear was digging through his...

03:06:38.000 We saw the white of his rib cage, and the bear was just digging out his organs and eating through the rib cage.

03:06:44.000 Now, why did you say suicide by a bear?

03:06:46.000 You being...

03:06:46.000 Because the guy shouldn't have fucking been there.

03:06:48.000 Like, he stayed there overnight.

03:06:50.000 He's camped with bears.

03:06:52.000 He's camped in a place called...

03:06:53.000 It's called Grizzly Maze.

03:06:56.000 He camped in the grizzly maze.

03:06:57.000 So he's hanging out with the most unthreatened predators in terms of like, what's going to fuck with a grizzly?

03:07:04.000 Nothing.

03:07:04.000 Not a thing in the woods other than a bigger grizzly.

03:07:07.000 So they're completely unchecked.

03:07:09.000 They do whatever the fuck they want.

03:07:10.000 And he was in a place where you're not supposed to be once they hibernate.

03:07:15.000 Because the thing is, if you go to the place where the bears live, And there's a bear that's still roaming around.

03:07:20.000 He hasn't hibernated yet.

03:07:21.000 It's past the time.

03:07:22.000 That means he's starving.

03:07:23.000 That means he's probably getting old.

03:07:25.000 And maybe his teeth don't work good anymore.

03:07:27.000 Or maybe he can't run after the fish anymore.

03:07:29.000 Whatever it is.

03:07:30.000 He hasn't got enough food.

03:07:31.000 So he'll eat anything.

03:07:33.000 So he looked at that dude.

03:07:34.000 He's like, oh, here we go.

03:07:35.000 And he killed him and killed his girlfriend.

03:07:37.000 See, I've always been must-told this story.

03:07:39.000 I thought it was like bears that he lived with, like a pack of bears that betrayed him.

03:07:45.000 Well, he thought he was living with them.

03:07:47.000 He was just living near them.

03:07:49.000 Like, they weren't his friend.

03:07:51.000 He like, Coco's my friend.

03:07:53.000 She's my friend.

03:07:54.000 Like, he was this crazy guy.

03:07:56.000 And...

03:07:56.000 And he seemed like, I don't know if he was homosexual or heterosexual, but he talked like a very effeminate gay man.

03:08:03.000 And then he would say crazy things like, I don't know why I don't have a girlfriend.

03:08:07.000 I wish I was gay. 0.99

03:08:08.000 It'd be so much easier.

03:08:09.000 If I was gay, I'd just find a guy.

03:08:11.000 But I'm not gay.

03:08:12.000 And you're like, who says that?

03:08:14.000 Like, what is this movie?

03:08:15.000 Like he's talking to the bears?

03:08:16.000 Just so y'all know.

03:08:17.000 But he's walking around with these cameras.

03:08:18.000 But Werner Herzog left that in the film.

03:08:20.000 Like, he knew what he was doing.

03:08:22.000 Werner Herzog's a brilliant director.

03:08:23.000 He knew what he was doing.

03:08:24.000 He was making a comedy.

03:08:26.000 It's like an unintentional comedy about a crazy guy who lives with bears.

03:08:30.000 And you think that he...

03:08:31.000 Do you think he knew he was going to die?

03:08:34.000 I think so.

03:08:35.000 I think you had to know that you can't sustain that.

03:08:38.000 How long are you going to keep living with grizzly bears, bro?

03:08:41.000 Eventually they're going to realize they're going to eat you.

03:08:42.000 I mean, it was a bad idea from the jump.

03:08:45.000 Dude, he would find cubs that were eaten by the boars.

03:08:49.000 So big males would eat cubs. 0.93

03:08:53.000 So this is a place where...

03:08:55.000 You know, hundreds or even thousands of bears.

03:08:57.000 I don't know what the population of bears was but there's a lot of bears in the fucking movie.

03:09:01.000 A lot of bears in the movie.

03:09:05.000 But it's a great documentary.

03:09:06.000 It's a fascinating take on human nature because this guy has got it in his head that he's protecting these bears.

03:09:13.000 But the reality of that whole area of Alaska is like there's plenty of bears, man.

03:09:19.000 And they actually have to keep the bear populations in check because if they don't, the bears, like the one that ate him, run out of food.

03:09:26.000 And they either attack people or they attack other bears.

03:09:30.000 They eat cubs.

03:09:31.000 That whole ecosystem needs to be managed.

03:09:35.000 Yeah.

03:09:36.000 I recently went to the aquarium and they have the little shark thing but it wasn't Because I'm fascinated with those apex predators.

03:09:49.000 Nothing's fucking with me.

03:09:51.000 That's the only part I was disappointed about.

03:09:53.000 I thought I was going to see a motherfucker like that. 0.99

03:09:56.000 You know they can't keep a great white in captivity?

03:09:59.000 Why?

03:09:59.000 They die.

03:10:01.000 Really?

03:10:01.000 Yeah.

03:10:02.000 I think one aquarium in Japan has recently kept a great white in captivity for an extended period of time, and I think they might be the first ever.

03:10:10.000 What do they die of?

03:10:11.000 I might have just made that up.

03:10:12.000 I don't know.

03:10:14.000 They just can't be contained in captivity.

03:10:16.000 They go crazy.

03:10:17.000 They die.

03:10:18.000 The longest one's ever been in captivity is 198 days, according to this.

03:10:22.000 What?

03:10:23.000 Less than a year?

03:10:24.000 Was that in Japan?

03:10:25.000 I didn't know.

03:10:26.000 I didn't get that far yet.

03:10:26.000 Do they kill themselves or run into the cage?

03:10:29.000 I don't know.

03:10:30.000 They don't live, though.

03:10:31.000 Monterey Bay?

03:10:32.000 Oh, that was up there?

03:10:35.000 That's where they live.

03:10:37.000 Well, Monterey Bay is not Southern California, right?

03:10:40.000 Isn't that Northern California?

03:10:41.000 Transported the shark from Southern California where it was caught.

03:10:44.000 Oh, to Monterey Bay.

03:10:45.000 Yeah, there's a shitload of them up in Northern California.

03:10:49.000 Like all around San Francisco and all up there.

03:10:51.000 Sharks?

03:10:52.000 Grey whites?

03:10:52.000 Yeah, great whites are all over the place up there.

03:10:54.000 They put it back.

03:10:55.000 They released it back to the wild.

03:10:57.000 Oh, interesting.

03:10:58.000 After it attacked and killed two non-grey white sharks that were in captivity with it.

03:11:04.000 So they had it alive.

03:11:06.000 Interesting.

03:11:06.000 So it says the main reason why they are unable to be contained is they are nomadic and are adapted to travel incredibly long distances.

03:11:12.000 Because of this, they struggle in small tanks.

03:11:14.000 So what happens to them if they put them in small tanks?

03:11:20.000 Do they just stop eating?

03:11:22.000 They give up?

03:11:23.000 This thing doesn't say.

03:11:26.000 They might have some very, very minuscule level of self-awareness.

03:11:33.000 Because the smaller fish, I think they don't realize that they're in a tank.

03:11:38.000 But the shark knows, like, this is what I saw yesterday.

03:11:42.000 This is what I saw yesterday.

03:11:43.000 That's what a bad motherfucker Steven Spielberg was, or is.

03:11:47.000 For Jaws.

03:11:48.000 One fucking movie changed the way people thought about a fish.

03:11:51.000 Yeah.

03:11:53.000 Nobody was that scared of sharks before Jaws.

03:11:56.000 Jaws changed.

03:11:58.000 I saw that on Betamax.

03:12:02.000 Really?

03:12:03.000 Yeah, it was like I was at an aunt's house or something.

03:12:06.000 That shit scared the shit out of me.

03:12:08.000 It should.

03:12:10.000 Sharks are crazy. 0.99

03:12:11.000 And now to go back and look at the behind the scenes and look how they did it all.

03:12:14.000 It's like to think about how they thought up what to...

03:12:17.000 Because Steven Spielberg is one of those dudes that like he wasn't listening to people.

03:12:22.000 He's a genius.

03:12:23.000 He doesn't have to.

03:12:24.000 Yeah, you gotta have that.

03:12:25.000 Those are the people that drag everything forward.

03:12:28.000 What does it say here?

03:12:29.000 Oh, 2016, an aquarium in Japan, that's it, displayed an 11-foot shark that had been caught in a fisherman's net.

03:12:35.000 The shark lasted only three days before dying.

03:12:38.000 Okay, so this was in 2016. But the Monterey one, it was a lot longer than that, huh?

03:12:45.000 2004. Oh, 2004?

03:12:46.000 Okay.

03:12:47.000 So they just don't make it very long in captivity, huh?

03:12:50.000 Yeah, it just says they just end up stopped swimming and they need to be pushed along.

03:12:53.000 Wow.

03:12:54.000 They just quit.

03:12:56.000 They just quit.

03:12:57.000 They're like, what the fuck is the point?

03:12:58.000 They quit like that dude in the tube with the werewolf.

03:13:01.000 Damn.

03:13:01.000 They just give up.

03:13:02.000 That feels like me in my last job before I just did comedy.

03:13:05.000 But isn't that important?

03:13:06.000 Do you have jobs like that?

03:13:08.000 Do you remember?

03:13:09.000 Oh, yeah.

03:13:09.000 Dude, I'll never forget the night.

03:13:11.000 You know Derek Poston?

03:13:12.000 Yeah, very well.

03:13:13.000 Derek has no hair now.

03:13:14.000 Yeah, I know.

03:13:14.000 I didn't even recognize him.

03:13:15.000 I didn't even recognize him.

03:13:15.000 I didn't even show up out there, dude.

03:13:16.000 You're looking good.

03:13:17.000 Looking good.

03:13:18.000 But he, this is when, like, because he moved to San Diego, like, right after me.

03:13:23.000 I mean, right after I started, like, a year after.

03:13:25.000 And we were cool, but we started, this is the night that I was like, this dude's my bro.

03:13:31.000 Because he, I didn't have to even say anything to him.

03:13:34.000 He came to my job.

03:13:35.000 At this time, I had quit the comedy club, and I was just a bar back at this Irish pub called Rosie O'Grady's.

03:13:43.000 And it was the night of St. Paddy's Day.

03:13:48.000 So it was just a swamp.

03:13:50.000 I had worked my ass off.

03:13:51.000 And right before we closed, one of the bartenders broke a glass in the well.

03:13:58.000 So where they get the ice from.

03:14:00.000 Oh no.

03:14:01.000 And because of the way this place was set up, it was like old school.

03:14:05.000 I had to go to the hot water heater.

03:14:08.000 So the only hot water spigot was in the women's room. 0.99

03:14:13.000 Oh no.

03:14:13.000 So I had to hold up the bathroom line in the women's room.

03:14:17.000 Get a bucket of hot water.

03:14:19.000 To get enough buckets of hot water to melt all the ice and then go always to the back of the building and grab buckets of ice to replace it like in the middle of the last call.

03:14:26.000 And make sure that you got all of it so you didn't get a fucking chunk of ice in your drink.

03:14:29.000 Yeah, you gotta melt all the ice and then wipe it out thoroughly and then go over that motherfucker with a flashlight to make sure there's no chunks.

03:14:35.000 Ugh.

03:14:36.000 And so, boom, so we finally get all those motherfuckers out there, and Derek's my ride, right?

03:14:40.000 And every now and then, you know, they let my ride come in and wait for me, right, while we're closing down.

03:14:45.000 And so, you know, I get my little shifty, you know, but I'm cleaning the place.

03:14:49.000 And I finally open it back up, and the last lady that went in the women's room, she shit all over the place. 1.00

03:14:59.000 And so his last call, we pushed everybody out the building, and Derek's sitting at the bar.

03:15:04.000 And somebody goes, hey, Brian, somebody shit all over the women's room. 1.00

03:15:09.000 So this is the part I'm leaving now.

03:15:10.000 So keep in mind, the night before, I just murdered at the comedy club.

03:15:16.000 And so Brian, somebody shit in the women's room, and it was this look of just despair on my face. 1.00

03:15:23.000 And I met Oz with Derek, and he was like, it ain't gonna be for long, dawg.

03:15:28.000 It ain't going to be for long.

03:15:29.000 Because I didn't even have to explain it to him.

03:15:31.000 Because it's like that feeling of knowing like I could be the man.

03:15:34.000 I have it.

03:15:35.000 Yes.

03:15:35.000 But I'm someone shit in the women's room.

03:15:38.000 So now I'm this.

03:15:39.000 It's that thing of people walking out going, I loved your stuff.

03:15:42.000 You were so funny.

03:15:43.000 And then someone shit in the women's room. 1.00

03:15:45.000 And it's like...

03:15:46.000 Fuck!

03:15:46.000 How long?

03:15:47.000 But isn't that a beautiful little moment in life that you can remember forever?

03:15:51.000 Oh yeah.

03:15:51.000 Like the moment where you knew that this had to end.

03:15:54.000 We still talk about it to this day.

03:15:56.000 Because it was.

03:15:57.000 That was the moment when it was like, yo, if you just get packed, if you can stick it out, you'll be fine.

03:16:04.000 And I believed it, you know?

03:16:05.000 I'm just like, yeah, those moments are important.

03:16:08.000 They're important.

03:16:09.000 You already had the thing, though.

03:16:11.000 The thing is being funny.

03:16:12.000 And that's the, some people don't have the thing.

03:16:15.000 Yeah, well, see, my thing, I was never not confident that I was funny.

03:16:19.000 My lack of confidence is, it was in whether funny mattered.

03:16:24.000 Like, how funny do I have to be before it matters?

03:16:27.000 You know?

03:16:28.000 Yeah.

03:16:28.000 Before I win the contest, before I get the thing.

03:16:31.000 Right, before you get the recognition.

03:16:32.000 Right.

03:16:33.000 That was always a problem in the early days, man.

03:16:35.000 Everybody was so thirsty.

03:16:37.000 Everybody in the early days of comedy, I mean like my generation from open mic to being professional, everyone was so thirsty.

03:16:45.000 And when you started getting work, you just were so desperado to get more work.

03:16:50.000 Everybody was just desperate to bridge that barrier between an amateur and a professional.

03:16:55.000 Quickly.

03:16:56.000 As quickly as you can.

03:16:57.000 Yeah.

03:16:57.000 I gotta make some money.

03:16:59.000 I gotta do this.

03:16:59.000 Like, even when you had no business getting paid, everybody was convinced that they were ready.

03:17:05.000 Yeah, you always think that beforehand.

03:17:08.000 That's why it's also important to save those old sets.

03:17:10.000 Oh.

03:17:11.000 God, I have some from the 90s that'll make my fucking hair stand up.

03:17:15.000 Yeah.

03:17:15.000 Oh, there's some I thought was fire.

03:17:18.000 They're terrible.

03:17:19.000 And I go back now and I'm like, oh no, this could never see the light of day.

03:17:21.000 Isn't it interesting when you watch an open mic or someone who's new who has quick premises?

03:17:26.000 They don't know how to get out of a premise and expand yet.

03:17:29.000 And you see those little baby steps.

03:17:31.000 You see if someone plays a video game and they're bumping into the wall.

03:17:36.000 They don't know how to navigate yet.

03:17:38.000 And every then and then you see them do a move and you're like...

03:17:41.000 It's like in the beginning, you're button mashing.

03:17:43.000 You know what I mean?

03:17:44.000 You don't know how to do the combo, but every now and then you're just hitting the buttons and you pull some shit off.

03:17:48.000 But you might have one or two ideas that are pretty good.

03:17:52.000 And people listen to the premise and they're like, ah!

03:17:54.000 Because I didn't understand that when I started.

03:17:55.000 When OGs would walk up and be like, You know, you got something.

03:17:59.000 You got something.

03:18:00.000 Just keep doing it.

03:18:01.000 But that's the darkest thing about thieves.

03:18:04.000 Because the darkest thing about thieves is they would come and watch the open micers.

03:18:08.000 And they would find those gems.

03:18:10.000 They would sit in the back of the open mic room for four or five hours.

03:18:14.000 We don't have to name any names.

03:18:15.000 But watch over and over and over again all these people coming up and take their best ideas.

03:18:23.000 Can you imagine if you're sitting there, and you're starting out as a comedian, maybe you're a bartender somewhere or whatever, and you get a couple nights off a week, and you got a dream, you're trying to make it, and you do a few open mics, and then you do an open mic, and the next thing you know, you're watching your shit on Comedy Central.

03:18:38.000 And you're like, what the fuck?

03:18:40.000 And that's your best bit.

03:18:42.000 I can't even imagine.

03:18:43.000 That happened to me.

03:18:45.000 Somebody stole a bit.

03:18:46.000 I don't think they did it intentionally.

03:18:48.000 But it was like word for word.

03:18:50.000 It wasn't like something we both thought of.

03:18:52.000 It couldn't have been.

03:18:54.000 It was like the same thing.

03:18:56.000 I ended up writing a better joke.

03:18:58.000 I ended up writing a better joke about the same thing because of it.

03:19:02.000 Because I was just like, I got to let this go because it's going to drive me crazy.

03:19:04.000 People make mistakes.

03:19:05.000 You think you heard something before or you think you haven't heard something before and you have.

03:19:09.000 I've done that.

03:19:10.000 You realize, oh shit, that's someone else's bit.

03:19:12.000 Or you're on stage halfway through it like, oh wait a minute.

03:19:15.000 I've been there too.

03:19:17.000 I've had people have to tell me that that bit is a bit that I heard before.

03:19:22.000 I'm like, oh no.

03:19:23.000 But these are honest mistakes.

03:19:25.000 There's a difference between that, like a failed memory, and then someone who will sit and cherry pick your act.

03:19:33.000 Cherry pick people's acts.

03:19:34.000 Because there was a lot of people in the 90s in particular that did just that.

03:19:37.000 Imagine being that That goes back to what we were talking about with no shame.

03:19:43.000 Imagine having no...

03:19:45.000 It's terrible.

03:19:46.000 No ambition to actually be good at what you're doing.

03:19:48.000 Well, it's also...

03:19:49.000 It is 100% a signal to everyone around you.

03:19:53.000 You don't give a fuck about anybody but yourself.

03:19:56.000 Like, you're in this thing, and there was a time where that was how a lot of comedians behaved, where there wasn't the kind of camaraderie that we all enjoy now.

03:20:04.000 I think the camaraderie of, like, this generation and the generation just previous, where they started to wake up and realize this, like, we're...

03:20:12.000 Way more similar to each other.

03:20:14.000 We're in the rest of Hollywood.

03:20:17.000 We need to stay together.

03:20:19.000 We need to support each other and we need to appreciate each other.

03:20:22.000 We got into this because we're fans of comedy.

03:20:25.000 You get to hang out with the funniest people on the planet.

03:20:27.000 You should just be enjoying it.

03:20:28.000 Yeah, you should.

03:20:29.000 You gotta figure out how to manage your own emotions and your own jealousy and your own narcissism to not think about other people's success as somehow or another being detrimental to you.

03:20:39.000 That's the difference between people that are strong and people that give in to that very base instinct.

03:20:46.000 And it's not just being funny, too.

03:20:48.000 We're spoiled in just the intellectual stimulation.

03:20:52.000 Yeah.

03:20:52.000 I've been in green rooms where it's like this conversation couldn't have happened anywhere else.

03:20:59.000 It's like two or three of the best thinkers in the world.

03:21:01.000 You know, comics aren't, you know, maybe they're not the best thinkers in the whole world, but they always have an angle that you didn't think of, like especially the OGs.

03:21:09.000 Right.

03:21:09.000 They always, like you've been around like Ron, you have Ron White right here and, you know, another big name right here and you in the back and just listening to the conversation.

03:21:18.000 And y'all are talking about You know, fucking World War II or some shit.

03:21:24.000 Right.

03:21:24.000 And it's like you hear all these interesting perspectives.

03:21:26.000 It's like we're spoiled like that.

03:21:28.000 We are.

03:21:29.000 You know who knows a shitload about World War II? Shane Gillis.

03:21:33.000 What?

03:21:33.000 That motherfucker is a historian.

03:21:35.000 He knows so much, man.

03:21:37.000 He turned me on to this book that I can't even read.

03:21:40.000 It's so hardcore.

03:21:41.000 I just met him.

03:21:44.000 Dude, it's about the starvation and cannibalism during World War II. It's rough.

03:21:49.000 I'll tell you exactly what the name of it is so you freaks out there can go and torture yourselves.

03:21:53.000 See, it's crazy just like you said, but when I filmed the special, it was in New York.

03:21:59.000 Yeah.

03:21:59.000 And the New York comics just showed me love.

03:22:01.000 All the funny people, when they know you're funny, Yes.

03:22:05.000 It's like, get the fuck in here.

03:22:06.000 That is true.

03:22:07.000 That is one beautiful thing.

03:22:08.000 Oh, yeah.

03:22:09.000 When comedians know you're funny.

03:22:11.000 This is not that many of us.

03:22:12.000 It's called Captured.

03:22:13.000 No, no, no.

03:22:14.000 It's a different one.

03:22:15.000 Now, that's the one that Hank told me about.

03:22:16.000 That's good, too.

03:22:18.000 Whoops.

03:22:22.000 How long have we been talking?

03:22:23.000 Too long.

03:22:24.000 We should probably wrap this up soon.

03:22:26.000 I think, like, three hours in.

03:22:28.000 Oh, okay.

03:22:28.000 Yeah, we're over.

03:22:29.000 Is it between two fires or...

03:22:31.000 No?

03:22:32.000 No.

03:22:32.000 Well, let me find it because it's recent.

03:22:35.000 I know that it's in here somewhere.

03:22:37.000 I think he suggested it to me and I could never bring myself to reading it because he scared me just in the description of it.

03:22:46.000 Fuck, what is it called?

03:22:48.000 Starvation and what was the other thing you said?

03:22:49.000 No, the other one was Captured and that's the one that Hank turned me on to.

03:22:54.000 It's not Bloodlands.

03:22:55.000 Oh, yeah, that is.

03:22:56.000 That's what it is.

03:22:57.000 Is this a fiction or nonfiction?

03:22:58.000 No, it's nonfiction.

03:22:59.000 It's called Bloodlands.

03:23:01.000 It's in Europe between Hitler and Stalin.

03:23:04.000 And it's all about, you know, when Stalin was in power, there was a tremendous amount of cannibalism.

03:23:09.000 And Lex Friedman has actually talked a lot about this as well because he's Russian and he knows a lot about this, the history of when Stalin was ruling and literally starved their people.

03:23:20.000 But in this...

03:23:22.000 In this book apparently there's some horrific depictions of children cannibalizing other children.

03:23:28.000 Why?

03:23:29.000 They were starving to death.

03:23:31.000 In Japan?

03:23:32.000 In Stalin, Russia. 0.85

03:23:33.000 Oh, in Russia.

03:23:34.000 Yeah.

03:23:36.000 He was telling me about it and I was like, I can't even listen to this.

03:23:39.000 It was so wild and so horrible and so dark and also so recent.

03:23:45.000 When you think about people cannibalizing people because they're starving to death and you realize it was only 80 years ago, you're like, what?

03:23:52.000 Eight years ago.

03:23:52.000 It was only eight years ago.

03:23:54.000 You're like, what are you saying?

03:23:55.000 Because when society break down, all it would take is one power grid outage to go unprepared for just, I say a month before society collapsed.

03:24:08.000 There was a time out here last year where all the power went out for a lot of people.

03:24:12.000 Oh yeah, during that winter storm.

03:24:13.000 Yeah, very strange.

03:24:15.000 Yeah, and then the fucking companies, the power companies were jacking up the prices.

03:24:21.000 Worse, worse.

03:24:22.000 Hotels were jacking up the prices of rooms, like really jacking them up, where people had no power and they had no water.

03:24:30.000 And so they were trying to get hotel rooms and they were charging like $1,000 a night for a fucking regular bullshit-ass room at a motel.

03:24:36.000 And people were furious.

03:24:38.000 Jesus.

03:24:39.000 Yeah.

03:24:39.000 That's the darkness of people when they try to capitalize on horrific events.

03:24:43.000 The brightness of people is when you hear about people.

03:24:46.000 Like, there was a guy who brought his rig to Kansas.

03:24:49.000 He's got a barbecue rig.

03:24:51.000 Did you see that?

03:24:52.000 Made the news.

03:24:53.000 And he started feeding everybody.

03:24:54.000 He's like, all these people lost everything.

03:24:56.000 He goes, I felt compelled.

03:24:58.000 And he brought this big-ass barbecue rig.

03:24:59.000 And he went down there and started cooking for people and giving them free food.

03:25:02.000 But when was he in the meat?

03:25:03.000 He brought it with him too?

03:25:03.000 He brought everything with him.

03:25:04.000 He's like, I'm going to go feed people.

03:25:06.000 His instinct when these people got hit by a hurricane or a tornado was to go down there and feed people.

03:25:13.000 So he was a barbecue guy.

03:25:14.000 He has this big ass rig.

03:25:16.000 Look at that thing behind him, that huge smoker.

03:25:18.000 So that dude went there and he just cooked for people.

03:25:21.000 He look like he don't take no shit.

03:25:22.000 Well, you know what?

03:25:23.000 You need people like that in this world.

03:25:25.000 Yeah.

03:25:25.000 Did he try to run for office?

03:25:27.000 His name is Jim Finch, a man who for no other reason other than that people were in need, he loaded up his truck with food, water, and a barbecue grill and drove to Mayfield to serve others.

03:25:40.000 That is a beautiful thing.

03:25:42.000 That's a beautiful thing.

03:25:44.000 So that means they don't have no electric, no restaurants, no running water, so...

03:25:49.000 I just figured I'd do what I can do.

03:25:51.000 Show up with some food and some water.

03:25:54.000 How beautiful is that?

03:25:55.000 And look behind him.

03:25:55.000 Yeah, that's awesome.

03:25:55.000 Look at that fucking ground behind him.

03:25:58.000 I've never experienced a tornado, but I gotta imagine that is one of the fucking scariest things you could ever experience.

03:26:03.000 Where the sky becomes an angry monster and starts destroying buildings.

03:26:07.000 And especially because they're so huge that they don't look like they're moving fast.

03:26:12.000 Yeah.

03:26:13.000 It's like one of the motherfuckers changing your direction and it's on you.

03:26:16.000 There's nothing you can do.

03:26:17.000 Yeah.

03:26:17.000 Did you see that one?

03:26:18.000 The images that they took of this one that destroyed Kentucky?

03:26:21.000 No.

03:26:23.000 Bro.

03:26:23.000 You look at the size of this thing.

03:26:25.000 It is so big.

03:26:27.000 It looks like multiple city blocks.

03:26:30.000 I mean, like New York City blocks.

03:26:33.000 Multiple blocks of just swirling, picking up cows and trees and houses.

03:26:39.000 Fucking terrifying.

03:26:39.000 And you can't get away.

03:26:40.000 Where are you going to go?

03:26:41.000 You have to drive through the cornfield.

03:26:42.000 You're going to hope that it doesn't turn.

03:26:44.000 You hope that you don't run into woods right when it turns.

03:26:49.000 You get stuck outside and get thrown through the air.

03:26:52.000 You think one of these things we figure out how to make them turn?

03:26:54.000 What makes them happen?

03:26:57.000 Then assholes come out.

03:26:59.000 And all these assholes were saying all these fucking crazy things like somehow it's responsible for those people because those people vote against climate change.

03:27:08.000 I'm like, what are you saying?

03:27:10.000 And they're like, this is what happens when people ignore nature.

03:27:14.000 No, you're wrong.

03:27:15.000 You're wrong.

03:27:16.000 They've always had these things.

03:27:17.000 In fact, the number of severe tornadoes has actually dropped over the last few years.

03:27:24.000 The number of tornadoes has risen, but the number of severe tornadoes like this one apparently has dropped.

03:27:30.000 I was reading this scientific- So they're more common, but not as deadly.

03:27:33.000 But it could be deadly.

03:27:34.000 That's the thing.

03:27:35.000 It's like at any moment, there's no real pattern.

03:27:38.000 Like a tornado, if there was, they would know when tornadoes were coming.

03:27:42.000 I mean, they kind of do a little bit.

03:27:43.000 They have some alarms they sound, but they don't know when these motherfuckers are coming. 1.00

03:27:48.000 Hurricanes are way easier to spot.

03:27:49.000 Hurricanes, they see them forming.

03:27:51.000 Are they up or down?

03:27:52.000 Well, hurricanes form over ocean, and hurricanes will make their way across the bay.

03:27:57.000 Jesus Christ, look what it did, dude.

03:27:59.000 Oh my God, look at that.

03:28:02.000 Look at that.

03:28:03.000 That's fucking insane.

03:28:06.000 I would want to go to all the houses that stayed up and go, who built that?

03:28:09.000 Let me talk to that dude.

03:28:11.000 Yeah, this drone is a beast.

03:28:12.000 Look at that fucking devastation, man.

03:28:15.000 Look at the devastation of those houses.

03:28:17.000 It's insane.

03:28:18.000 Dozens dead after most of your tornadoes.

03:28:20.000 Not just dozens dead, but everything's destroyed.

03:28:22.000 Look at all the houses.

03:28:24.000 Who's moving back there?

03:28:25.000 How are you going to move back there?

03:28:27.000 Think about all those people that are displaced.

03:28:29.000 Even if they got out of there before the tornado got there, where do they go now?

03:28:33.000 They lost everything.

03:28:35.000 Yeah.

03:28:36.000 I mean, don't we have a government agency for that?

03:28:39.000 Yeah, it's FEMA. Oh yeah, they're bad at it.

03:28:41.000 FEMA. I mean, they're not bad at it.

03:28:43.000 It's just like, when something like this happens, like, what the fuck are they gonna do?

03:28:46.000 I mean, they can only do so much.

03:28:48.000 They can only give you so much food and shelter, and they do their best to try to help people, but...

03:28:53.000 But there's images, Jamie, of the actual tornado itself.

03:28:59.000 They're so inefficient.

03:29:00.000 It's in the middle of the night, right?

03:29:01.000 I only saw images.

03:29:02.000 I saw a video of a picture.

03:29:04.000 It was just being lit up by lightning, so you could only see it when the lightning was hitting.

03:29:07.000 It was only in the middle of the night?

03:29:08.000 That's even scarier.

03:29:10.000 Imagine you're sleeping, and the alarm...

03:29:12.000 I ain't got it.

03:29:17.000 Yeah, here we go.

03:29:19.000 You got it?

03:29:19.000 Look at the size of that fucking thing.

03:29:22.000 So imagine you're outside, you're hanging out with your friends, just fucking barbecuing and shit, and the light crackles from lightning, and you look over, you see that coming, and you're like, oh my god.

03:29:36.000 Dozens killed by tornadoes across six states just rolled through.

03:29:41.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

03:29:42.000 Jesus.

03:29:43.000 My god, it's so big.

03:29:44.000 And you can only see it when the lightning strikes?

03:29:48.000 Oh my god, you'd be so terrified.

03:29:50.000 That's like the wolf in that scene, like...

03:29:51.000 Right, but you don't know where it is like the wolf in that scene.

03:29:53.000 You're right.

03:29:54.000 Is it coming towards us?

03:29:55.000 Is it...

03:29:55.000 Is it running away from us?

03:29:57.000 Where do we go?

03:29:58.000 What if we drive into it by accident?

03:30:00.000 It's getting really bad.

03:30:01.000 Close.

03:30:01.000 And so...

03:30:03.000 I thought...

03:30:03.000 There was a video I saw where the guy was like filming it himself and he's like talking to someone.

03:30:07.000 Look at that, though.

03:30:09.000 That's the scariest shit you can see, bro.

03:30:12.000 And you don't know how fast it's going because it's so big.

03:30:14.000 I mean, it might be going 50 miles an hour and you feel okay.

03:30:17.000 Yeah.

03:30:17.000 I'm fine.

03:30:18.000 Well, the next lightning striking is right in front of your ass.

03:30:20.000 Imagine if you have to get home and get your kids.

03:30:23.000 Imagine if your kids are over that way.

03:30:25.000 You got to drive that one.

03:30:26.000 You got to hope you time it right.

03:30:28.000 Or you don't.

03:30:29.000 Or you don't go home.

03:30:31.000 But you know what?

03:30:32.000 You have to.

03:30:33.000 You have to die with your kids.

03:30:35.000 You either save your kids or you die with your kids.

03:30:38.000 And on that happy note...

03:30:40.000 Merry Christmas, motherfuckers.

03:30:44.000 Brian Simpson's Netflix special is out right now.

03:30:46.000 It's fucking hilarious.

03:30:48.000 I watched some clips, one bit that I hadn't seen you do before that was hilarious about the Penny's bit.

03:30:53.000 I don't want to give it away.

03:30:54.000 It's fucking genius.

03:30:55.000 No, it's on my Instagram now.

03:30:57.000 Oh, okay.

03:30:57.000 That's where I saw it.

03:30:58.000 It's genius.

03:30:59.000 You're a funny motherfucker.

03:31:00.000 We're going to be tonight at the Vulcan.

03:31:02.000 I'm very excited.

03:31:03.000 Hell yeah.

03:31:03.000 You're the shit, man.

03:31:04.000 I'm very happy to see you blowing up.

03:31:05.000 Let's do it.

03:31:06.000 There it is right there.

03:31:08.000 That's it.

03:31:09.000 Tell everybody your Instagram.

03:31:10.000 My Instagram is BSComedian.

03:31:12.000 Twitter, same shit?

03:31:13.000 Same shit, BS Comedian.

03:31:14.000 And do you have a YouTube page?

03:31:16.000 Yes, Brian Simpson.

03:31:17.000 That's it?

03:31:18.000 Yep.

03:31:19.000 Goodbye, everybody.

03:31:19.000 Bye, y'all.

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 23, 2021

Joe Rogan Experience #1751 - Brian Simpson

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript