The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1794 - Monty Franklin

00:00:16.000 That's what the British would say, a proper cigar lighter.

00:00:20.000 Was that your British accent? 0.83

00:00:22.000 That was terrible.

00:00:23.000 Can't tell if I'm from New Zealand, Britain, Scotland. 1.00

00:00:27.000 No, it was a shit. 1.00

00:00:30.000 How many people that don't know you're from Australia think you're British? 1.00

00:00:36.000 I never get it.

00:00:37.000 I always get Australian. 0.94

00:00:39.000 Really?

00:00:39.000 I've never been called anything else.

00:00:42.000 Maybe New Zealand or British once, but... 0.92

00:00:47.000 That's amazing because you lived in Florida for a year.

00:00:49.000 That basically is another country. 0.98

00:00:51.000 They don't know what the fuck's going on in the rest of the world. 0.98

00:00:54.000 I love it. 0.98

00:00:54.000 It's so funny. 0.98

00:00:56.000 Florida, it's like 1985 and they just said, no, we're just going to stay here.

00:01:01.000 Everything's fluorescent and the buildings haven't been updated since.

00:01:05.000 Everything's strange.

00:01:06.000 What part of Florida are you living in?

00:01:08.000 We're in Orlando for a year.

00:01:10.000 Oh, okay, so that's Disneyland.

00:01:11.000 That's a weird place anyway, Disney World.

00:01:13.000 That's a weird place anyway because it's all Disney-fied.

00:01:15.000 Yeah, that's like Disney, like half the people work for Disney in Orlando just walking around and stuff.

00:01:20.000 It's a strange place.

00:01:22.000 I enjoyed the time that we were there, but I'm glad that we're leaving.

00:01:25.000 Sorry, Orlando.

00:01:27.000 It's a fun place to stay during the pandemic, I'm sure.

00:01:30.000 Yeah, I mean, everything was open.

00:01:32.000 Because they act like it's not real.

00:01:33.000 Well, no, nothing happened there.

00:01:35.000 There was no pandemic.

00:01:37.000 Everyone just lived their lives and carried on and went to boat regattas and made out with each other in the streets.

00:01:43.000 Yeah, I was talking to Stanhope.

00:01:45.000 Stanhope, by the way, never got COVID, which is amazing.

00:01:49.000 Amazing.

00:01:50.000 He probably got COVID 20 years ago and has had it that whole time or something.

00:01:55.000 A joke he has.

00:01:56.000 He says he's been experiencing COVID-like symptoms for the past 30 years.

00:02:00.000 But he was traveling to Wyoming and Montana, and they were like, you know, we never had any restrictions.

00:02:08.000 There's places that just never locked anything down.

00:02:11.000 I wonder if there's...

00:02:12.000 I mean, was...

00:02:13.000 No, I was going to say Hawaii, but Hawaii was pretty locked down, wasn't it?

00:02:16.000 They're still locked down.

00:02:17.000 I was just there.

00:02:17.000 Really?

00:02:18.000 I was there last week, and they made me put a mask on in the gym. 1.00

00:02:21.000 I'm like, well, cut the shit. 1.00

00:02:23.000 I'm in the restaurant. 1.00

00:02:25.000 I don't have to wear a mask.

00:02:26.000 I'm in the gym.

00:02:27.000 I do?

00:02:27.000 Like, where's the logic?

00:02:29.000 Tell me what...

00:02:29.000 Because I'm breathing harder?

00:02:31.000 Yeah.

00:02:31.000 COVID doesn't go into the restaurant.

00:02:33.000 You have to get tested to even get into the fucking state. 0.99

00:02:35.000 Like, you have to have a test. 1.00

00:02:36.000 You do a PCR test to get into the state.

00:02:39.000 So they know you don't have COVID. And then you get there.

00:02:42.000 No one has COVID there.

00:02:43.000 Everybody in the resort will stay at the Four Seasons.

00:02:45.000 Everybody has been tested.

00:02:47.000 It's very nice.

00:02:48.000 Very nice place.

00:02:49.000 Nice gym, too. 1.00

00:02:50.000 But it's fucking, it's preposterous. 1.00

00:02:53.000 And not only that, you're wearing this surgical mask. 1.00

00:02:56.000 These fucking stupid paper masks don't do a goddamn thing anyway. 1.00

00:03:00.000 When I talked to Michael Osterholm, the infectious disease expert, he was explaining why these N95 masks work. 1.00

00:03:09.000 He's like, that's what you want.

00:03:10.000 If you really think you're in contact with something and you want to, like, prevent any kind of infection, he goes, you should have an N95 mask.

00:03:17.000 What is he saying about something about the magnetic, something about it?

00:03:22.000 Electrostatic charger.

00:03:23.000 Right.

00:03:23.000 And somehow or another, it literally, like, stops the particles in the mask itself.

00:03:30.000 I'm like, oh.

00:03:30.000 And that's the only one that does it.

00:03:32.000 That makes sense.

00:03:32.000 Yes.

00:03:32.000 Wearing your underpants on your face doesn't work.

00:03:34.000 It doesn't work.

00:03:35.000 It doesn't work.

00:03:35.000 It's a face diaper.

00:03:36.000 It's fucking so stupid. 1.00

00:03:38.000 And not only that, a lot of people were wearing... 1.00

00:03:40.000 This fucking guy at the gym, where they said it was okay with him, he had a face shield. 0.99

00:03:46.000 So this guy has a thing. 0.99

00:03:47.000 A clear thing?

00:03:47.000 Yeah, clear thing.

00:03:48.000 What is the point of that?

00:03:49.000 Goes down like this.

00:03:50.000 And there's a big gap.

00:03:52.000 There's this big gap underneath.

00:03:54.000 You can go in there and pick your nose.

00:03:56.000 It doesn't make any... 0.94

00:03:57.000 It's like, we're in clown world. 0.94

00:03:59.000 This is crazy. 0.53

00:03:59.000 So he's okay, but I have to put on this surgical thing. 0.53

00:04:02.000 Maybe he has other issues.

00:04:03.000 Maybe people spit in his face a lot.

00:04:05.000 He's like, I can't do this anymore.

00:04:06.000 I need a face shield.

00:04:07.000 He just walks around insulting everybody.

00:04:09.000 I guess I need some protection from this. 1.00

00:04:11.000 He was on the fucking stair machine. 0.99

00:04:13.000 I'm like, come on, bro. 1.00

00:04:14.000 That is crazy.

00:04:16.000 That's like a cat that hides under a table, but you can still see his tail.

00:04:20.000 I'm like, if I can see you, bro!

00:04:22.000 My cats do that. 0.91

00:04:23.000 They're terrible hiding. 0.97

00:04:24.000 They run under the couch and half of their ass and their tail's out, and they go, it was a good try that I can fully see you. 0.99

00:04:30.000 They're like, if I can't see you, you can't see me. 0.99

00:04:33.000 It's like closing your eyes as a kid.

00:04:34.000 You can't see me.

00:04:35.000 But I was getting shitty the other day because I was on the plane and the mask was, because I've been traveling a lot, I was getting a pimple on my nose from wearing a mask on it. 0.93

00:04:46.000 And I just didn't want a pimple on my nose because who does? 1.00

00:04:48.000 And so I was just letting it hang down there and just everyone was coming up.

00:04:52.000 Up off your nose, please, sir.

00:04:54.000 And I just wanted to go, I've got a pimple.

00:04:56.000 Can you just please let me...

00:04:58.000 As if.

00:04:59.000 As if that makes any sense.

00:05:01.000 I mean, that is one of the more preposterous things that people have just accepted during this pandemic.

00:05:08.000 And follow the science.

00:05:10.000 Follow the science.

00:05:11.000 Well, please follow the science on that. 0.99

00:05:13.000 Because unless everybody has an N95 mask and it's fucking properly fitted, tight to your face... 0.99

00:05:18.000 This is nonsense. 1.00

00:05:19.000 This is nonsense.

00:05:20.000 Do you remember seeing the guy at the very start of pandemic surfing out in Malibu with a face mask on?

00:05:26.000 No, but I do remember the guy who was paddle boarding who got arrested. 0.93

00:05:29.000 Oh, do you remember those boats chasing him and shit? 0.98

00:05:31.000 It was unreal. 1.00

00:05:32.000 In the middle of the fucking ocean by himself and they arrested him. 0.99

00:05:34.000 They had a helicopter come and then the two boats came. 1.00

00:05:37.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:05:38.000 We lost our fucking mind. 1.00

00:05:40.000 It shows you how goofy people really are if something goes sideways. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Yeah.

00:05:45.000 Most people are not prepared.

00:05:47.000 We can't trust people in masses.

00:05:49.000 Not just not in masses, but even the government.

00:05:52.000 The people that are in charge of policing. 0.99

00:05:54.000 The fact that the police didn't say, hey, hey, hey, we're not, the Coast Guard didn't say this, we're not going to go out and arrest a fucking paddleboard of guys. 0.99

00:06:01.000 This is nonsense. 0.98

00:06:02.000 This is like deep enough into the pandemic that there was already data on outdoor passing of the virus.

00:06:08.000 And outdoor transmission was almost non-existent.

00:06:11.000 Yeah.

00:06:11.000 This is not where it's happening.

00:06:13.000 It's happening in closed tight spaces.

00:06:15.000 Yeah.

00:06:15.000 Where people are breathing on each other.

00:06:17.000 And that's the early days of the pandemic where you had to be around each other for a long time to catch it.

00:06:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:06:22.000 This new shit, this Omicron, you could like be passing by someone and they sneeze and you got it. 0.99

00:06:26.000 But it's over now. 0.99

00:06:27.000 No one's talking about the next variants and stuff.

00:06:29.000 It's like COVID got cancelled.

00:06:31.000 It had a couple of good seasons, and then the antagonist wasn't powerful enough, so they've gone on to another show.

00:06:36.000 Well, luckily, this new variant is very mild, Omicron.

00:06:41.000 Although so many people are saying, like, people are still getting hospitalized, but maybe.

00:06:45.000 But those people likely are severely compromised, because I had it, and it was...

00:06:51.000 Obviously I had the original COVID, but that wasn't that bad for me either. 0.98

00:06:55.000 But the new COVID is a fucking breeze. 0.93

00:06:58.000 I don't know which one I had. 0.99

00:07:00.000 You probably had the Delta.

00:07:02.000 Because if you had in October, is this when you had it?

00:07:04.000 I think so.

00:07:05.000 You probably had Delta.

00:07:06.000 I had Delta.

00:07:08.000 And then I also had Omicron.

00:07:10.000 And Omicron was...

00:07:11.000 But again, I had antibodies from Delta.

00:07:14.000 Omicron was...

00:07:14.000 I couldn't believe it was COVID. I mean, I had like sniffles.

00:07:18.000 And I was like, really?

00:07:19.000 And then the next day, I was negative.

00:07:21.000 I tested negative the next day.

00:07:23.000 I was like, this is crazy. 1.00

00:07:24.000 Did you do all the same shit? 1.00

00:07:26.000 Same shit. 1.00

00:07:27.000 Vitamin ID, IV drips, monoclonal antibodies, everything. 1.00

00:07:31.000 That's the ticket, I think, is the monoclonal antibodies.

00:07:35.000 I went to try and get them, but it was like $1,200 or something, and I just went...

00:07:39.000 Well, they're supposed to be free.

00:07:41.000 They're free in a lot of places.

00:07:42.000 They were free in Texas.

00:07:43.000 They were free in Florida.

00:07:44.000 I don't know how the health system works here, and I don't know what I've got, and I'm not a citizen.

00:07:48.000 I don't know what I'm allowed to do.

00:07:50.000 Are you illegal?

00:07:51.000 Are you married yet?

00:07:52.000 Did you get married yet?

00:07:53.000 I am, yeah.

00:07:54.000 Yeah, so you're legal now.

00:07:56.000 You married an American.

00:07:57.000 Good job, by the way.

00:07:58.000 Thank you.

00:07:58.000 You chose wisely.

00:07:59.000 I had a green card before that, so...

00:08:03.000 Because I came here on what was an 01 working visa and then after three years or something like that you can get the green card.

00:08:09.000 Is it hard for a comic to get a working visa in America?

00:08:12.000 Yes.

00:08:12.000 It's hard for anyone to get a working visa.

00:08:14.000 But I think as a comic, like, there's not that many of us.

00:08:17.000 It's not that.

00:08:18.000 You have to...

00:08:19.000 It says on the form you have to prove that you're an alien of exceptional ability and you can do a job here that no one else can do here. 0.91

00:08:29.000 So you have to prove...

00:08:30.000 This is what it says.

00:08:32.000 I had to prove...

00:08:33.000 To the government here, that me not being here was an injustice to the entertainment industry.

00:08:40.000 Like, they were, you know, doing...

00:08:42.000 Well, if you want someone to tell comedy about being from Australia and moving to America, there's you and Jim Jefferies.

00:08:49.000 That's it.

00:08:49.000 Yeah, it's just us.

00:08:50.000 Who the fuck else is out there? 0.90

00:08:51.000 There's a few, but not that are touring around as much as, like, Jim and I are. 0.96

00:08:55.000 And, you know, there's a couple in L.A. and probably New York that I don't...

00:08:58.000 I don't know anybody else but you guys.

00:09:00.000 There's a couple in LA that are good, but, you know, they're just...

00:09:04.000 I believe it, but I mean, as far as, like, people that I'm aware of...

00:09:06.000 Yeah, it is.

00:09:07.000 I know you, and I know Jim.

00:09:08.000 Jim and I are the only ones who are touring around the country. 0.99

00:09:12.000 So, they should probably shut the fuck up and give you a green card. 0.98

00:09:15.000 Well, they did, but it just... 0.99

00:09:17.000 It took a lot of time and money.

00:09:19.000 How long did it take?

00:09:19.000 It just took money.

00:09:20.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:09:21.000 It's a business.

00:09:22.000 It's a whole industry.

00:09:23.000 It was like 20 grand all up.

00:09:25.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:09:25.000 Really? 0.71

00:09:26.000 Yeah, for the O1 and the green card combined, I spent about $20,000 to live here in the land of the free.

00:09:32.000 Is it for lawyers?

00:09:35.000 I'm including everything.

00:09:36.000 It's lawyers.

00:09:37.000 I had to fly back to Australia to go to the consulate there to get the thing and stuff, so I'm including all of that, all the bullshittery. 0.98

00:09:43.000 You had to fly back home, get some paperwork.

00:09:46.000 They couldn't fax that?

00:09:48.000 Some people go to Canada or Mexico and just get out of the country and do it there and stuff, but it was just easier for me to go back home.

00:09:54.000 Do people still fax?

00:09:56.000 There's three people that still fax, and they just fax each other.

00:09:59.000 They go, hey, you still got the fax machine?

00:10:00.000 And he goes, yep, got it.

00:10:02.000 I remember, I think I had an app on my phone that faxed during the early days.

00:10:07.000 It might have been on a Blackberry.

00:10:09.000 I might be making this up now.

00:10:12.000 I think maybe it was an Android phone.

00:10:13.000 There are fax apps.

00:10:15.000 Is that correct, Jamie?

00:10:16.000 Am I making this up?

00:10:17.000 I think you're right.

00:10:19.000 Like DocuSend type things or something.

00:10:21.000 DocuSend is like, oh, that's different than DocuSign.

00:10:24.000 DocuSign makes me laugh.

00:10:25.000 Every time I have to DocuSign something, because I just click on this little thing, and it just says my name, and it's not my real signature, but it's like a fake version of my signature.

00:10:36.000 It's one they've generated.

00:10:37.000 But, like, I'm doing this for, like, giant deals.

00:10:41.000 Like big, important things worth a shit ton of money.

00:10:44.000 And I'm just like, click, there's my fake signature.

00:10:47.000 Click, there's my fake signature.

00:10:48.000 Is this your signature, sir?

00:10:50.000 What is that?

00:10:51.000 When are we going to stop doing this?

00:10:53.000 When are we going to stop signing?

00:10:54.000 There are fax apps, but I'm reading what they do.

00:10:58.000 It sounds like they just kind of send email.

00:11:01.000 They're like sending pictures of PDFs to each other.

00:11:04.000 But I was thinking about something that was years ago.

00:11:06.000 I know what you mean.

00:11:07.000 But yeah, these still sort of do that.

00:11:08.000 If there's a machine you can send it to, then yeah, it'll turn on and probably start spitting out a piece of paper.

00:11:13.000 Because I kind of remember back in the transition.

00:11:15.000 I've always been an early adapter of technology.

00:11:18.000 And now I'm starting to shy away from that and want to be less technologically involved.

00:11:23.000 But I was getting into that.

00:11:25.000 I was like, ooh, maybe I could do it all for my phone.

00:11:27.000 I think there was a thing back then.

00:11:29.000 Yeah, like scanned documents and it looked like it had been faxed.

00:11:32.000 Is that what you're talking about?

00:11:33.000 Yeah.

00:11:33.000 Yeah, like scanned it and then you could send it and it would show up.

00:11:36.000 Like you could send it to a...

00:11:38.000 I don't know.

00:11:38.000 I might be making this up.

00:11:40.000 It's one of the memories that's like, that's not a good memory.

00:11:42.000 I remember doing those kind of things.

00:11:44.000 Particularly if I'm doing a job, an acting job or something, and they say, can you fax all your stuff?

00:11:48.000 And I'm like, what?

00:11:48.000 How am I meant to do that?

00:11:50.000 You know how you have memories that are not that good?

00:11:53.000 You're like, I don't know if this is a real one.

00:11:54.000 Yeah.

00:11:55.000 Or you start telling a story that happened to you to the person that that story happened to and they go, that was my story.

00:12:00.000 You go, oh, sorry.

00:12:01.000 Thought that happened to me.

00:12:02.000 Louis C.K. has a great bit about that.

00:12:04.000 About you add a bunch of stuff to it and you tell it to the person. 0.97

00:12:07.000 You're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

00:12:08.000 You're a liar. 1.00

00:12:11.000 Did you watch Louie's new special? 0.99

00:12:13.000 It's great.

00:12:13.000 Isn't it great?

00:12:14.000 It's very good.

00:12:15.000 It's just classic old Louie.

00:12:16.000 You know what he is? 0.99

00:12:16.000 He's your dirty uncle at the Christmas table who's being just a little bit gross. 0.99

00:12:21.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:12:21.000 And it's just so fun to watch. 0.98

00:12:22.000 Well, you know what?

00:12:23.000 He's got a certain amount of freedom now that he's been, like, royally cancelled.

00:12:27.000 Right, right.

00:12:28.000 And the wonderful thing is the backdrop that has giant lit-up letters that says, sorry.

00:12:34.000 Sorry.

00:12:36.000 And he comes out and is kind of like, that's his look, like, I'm sorry, I did it, and let's just move on.

00:12:42.000 Yeah.

00:12:43.000 Some people don't want to accept it.

00:12:44.000 It's very strange.

00:12:46.000 Yeah.

00:12:46.000 The idea that you don't want to ever allow a person to apologize and come back from something, it's like...

00:12:54.000 Okay.

00:12:55.000 Well, are you without fail?

00:12:56.000 Yeah.

00:12:57.000 What if someone goes digging into your life?

00:12:59.000 There's no one who's not going to get.

00:13:01.000 No.

00:13:01.000 Especially if some people have some distorted versions of what happened with you.

00:13:07.000 We're talking about memories, like my memory of this fax thing. 0.99

00:13:10.000 People have fucking... 1.00

00:13:12.000 Memories are shit. 1.00

00:13:13.000 This is the thing about memory, and Neil deGrasse Tyson is really into this, because we had a conversation about it in regards to crimes. 0.99

00:13:21.000 When someone is an eyewitness of a crime, he's like, that is the least reliable piece of evidence.

00:13:26.000 But they don't accept it in court, right?

00:13:28.000 Eyewitnesses get, listen man, people, they arrest people all the time when they do a police lineup and it's the wrong person.

00:13:35.000 It happens all the time.

00:13:36.000 Where someone could be assaulted and they'll look at a police lineup and be sure that this is the guy that did it to them.

00:13:42.000 And it's not.

00:13:43.000 And that person winds up going to jail.

00:13:45.000 It happens all the time.

00:13:46.000 They get tried.

00:13:47.000 They get convicted wrongly.

00:13:49.000 You know, the problem with it is, and I've been working with Josh Dubin, who's an ambassador for the Innocence Project.

00:13:55.000 There's a real problem with once the ball is in motion, like once you get arrested for a crime and then the prosecuting attorneys and then the defense attorneys get involved and then the DA and there's a game that's going on and the game is the prosecutors are trying to prove you guilty.

00:14:13.000 And your defense attorney is trying to prove you innocent.

00:14:17.000 And they're trying to win.

00:14:18.000 Both sides are trying to win.

00:14:19.000 And when people try to win, they withhold evidence.

00:14:22.000 They hide data.

00:14:23.000 They find out that there might be something that could exonerate you.

00:14:26.000 I mean, that was the thing with Kamala Harris. 1.00

00:14:28.000 This is something that Dubin talked about on my podcast.

00:14:31.000 When she was the DA in San Francisco, She withheld, she was fighting to withhold evidence that would exonerate innocent people.

00:14:39.000 This is a thing they do on a regular basis.

00:14:42.000 This is a real problem with the justice system.

00:14:45.000 And when you talk with a guy like Dubin, who does this work with the Innocence Project and regularly frees people.

00:14:51.000 The last podcast we did, not the last one, but the time before, two people were freed.

00:14:56.000 Because of the podcast? 0.99

00:14:57.000 Yeah, people that were going to fucking die on death row. 0.99

00:15:01.000 They were freed. 1.00

00:15:02.000 Wow.

00:15:02.000 Yeah.

00:15:03.000 Because of the pressure that the podcast put on these places where these people had been arrested.

00:15:09.000 What do they have to gain from that?

00:15:11.000 What does she have to gain from... 1.00

00:15:13.000 They try to win, man.

00:15:14.000 They want to win as many cases as they can.

00:15:16.000 They don't want to lose. 0.92

00:15:17.000 First of all, if you lose, then you open yourself up to civil litigation because if someone was wrongly accused and then incarcerated for years, then there's lawsuits and all kinds of crazy shit. 0.69

00:15:29.000 But there's a lot of that going on. 0.97

00:15:31.000 And he has a podcast about junk science.

00:15:34.000 There's a lot of science that, until I talked to him, I thought was... 0.57

00:15:38.000 Rock solid.

00:15:39.000 Like, bite marks.

00:15:41.000 When they find, like, if someone bites someone and they say, oh, these are your teeth. 0.78

00:15:45.000 He's like, there is no fucking way they know if it's your teeth.

00:15:49.000 Yeah, right. 0.96

00:15:49.000 He's like, the tearing of, like, teeth on flesh. 0.96

00:15:53.000 This is not, like, a fingerprint.

00:15:56.000 Fingerprints are rock solid.

00:15:57.000 Like, if you put a fingerprint on something, you know, that's why you can open up your phone.

00:16:01.000 I have an Android phone that I open with a fingerprint.

00:16:03.000 I put my fingerprint on it, bang, it knows it's me.

00:16:05.000 Yeah.

00:16:06.000 That's not the case with a bite mark, man.

00:16:08.000 And they tried to play it off like it was.

00:16:10.000 He's like, it's not.

00:16:13.000 It doesn't work that way.

00:16:14.000 Do you know koalas have the same fingerprints as humans and they get confused with them at crime scenes all the time?

00:16:20.000 Like with human fingerprints and koala fingerprints.

00:16:22.000 Whoa.

00:16:23.000 And then they go, actually, we can't tell if it was the koala or that guy, so we're just going to have to let this go or whatever they do. 0.99

00:16:28.000 If you killed a koala and used his hands to open doors and shit. 0.99

00:16:32.000 Putting it up into the thing. 1.00

00:16:34.000 Put the knife in the koala hand and stab somebody with it. 0.99

00:16:37.000 It was the koala! 0.99

00:16:38.000 Can you imagine that?

00:16:39.000 I think it's a person.

00:16:41.000 Yeah. 0.90

00:16:41.000 Aren't koalas cunts if they don't get the eucalyptus leaves? 0.90

00:16:44.000 Yeah, but they get their eucalyptus leaves. 0.94

00:16:47.000 I mean, they get what they want.

00:16:49.000 But I heard if you don't feed them, they look cute. 1.00

00:16:53.000 But if they're not getting their leaves, they're a fucking bear. 1.00

00:16:56.000 Yeah, they're brutal. 1.00

00:16:57.000 And they kind of like...

00:16:59.000 But they're stoned for 23 hours of the day.

00:17:03.000 They're stoned?

00:17:04.000 Yeah, eucalyptus leaves have a mild sedative in them.

00:17:07.000 So they eat all these leaves and they're sitting there.

00:17:09.000 And they fall out of trees all the time.

00:17:11.000 Really?

00:17:11.000 Like, that's the thing that happens.

00:17:12.000 They get high and fall out of trees?

00:17:13.000 Yeah, they just get high and they just go...

00:17:15.000 That's an Australian animal.

00:17:18.000 It is.

00:17:19.000 It's the only place on earth where they are.

00:17:20.000 I mean, it seems like an Australian animal.

00:17:22.000 You know, it gets high and falls out of trees. 0.97

00:17:24.000 Yeah, like it's a bit silly.

00:17:25.000 They got a little drunk at the Christmas party and fell off the thing.

00:17:28.000 Kangaroos turn totally Australian animal.

00:17:30.000 Completely.

00:17:31.000 They don't make any sense. 1.00

00:17:32.000 It's like God fucked a horse up or something and just went, oh shit, put that down there for now. 1.00

00:17:37.000 And they taste good. 1.00

00:17:38.000 Oh, it's great meat.

00:17:39.000 It is really good.

00:17:40.000 You could buy kangaroo in supermarkets in Australia.

00:17:43.000 That's a very accessible meat.

00:17:46.000 Well, it seems like there's a real problem with them because they don't have predators and there's so many of them.

00:17:51.000 They're like deer.

00:17:52.000 I mean, there's a lot of deer in this country, I assume.

00:17:55.000 And there's a lot of kangaroos.

00:17:57.000 Not a lot of koalas.

00:17:58.000 Around here, there's a lot of deer.

00:18:00.000 In Texas, they're everywhere, man.

00:18:01.000 Really?

00:18:02.000 Yeah.

00:18:03.000 I'm always slamming on my brakes. 0.95

00:18:04.000 Are you allowed to go out and shoot them or is there a... 0.69

00:18:07.000 Well, you can't shoot them in residential neighborhoods.

00:18:09.000 There's some residential neighborhoods where they actually offer archery permits for hunting because they get so bad.

00:18:15.000 But I've only heard about that in Connecticut and a few other places.

00:18:20.000 There was a television show in Connecticut or Pennsylvania.

00:18:25.000 I forget.

00:18:25.000 But there was a television show where people were hunting deer in people's driveways.

00:18:30.000 They'd set up a blind station.

00:18:34.000 What kind of television show is this?

00:18:36.000 I was watching it on TV. It was like a hunting show.

00:18:39.000 And they were hunting. 0.99

00:18:39.000 It was like Suburban Deer Hunter or some shit like that. 0.99

00:18:42.000 And they were hunting because they have so many of them. 0.99

00:18:45.000 And they are wild animals and they are delicious.

00:18:47.000 And the people, they do have to kill them because they cause car accidents.

00:18:53.000 Millions of dollars of damage every year are caused by people hitting deer with their cars. 0.97

00:18:57.000 Same with kangaroos.

00:18:58.000 You hit a kangaroo, your car's done for. 0.99

00:19:00.000 That's it.

00:19:00.000 Bro, those big ones?

00:19:01.000 The big ones.

00:19:02.000 The big red ones, they're six foot tall.

00:19:04.000 They're huge. 0.99

00:19:04.000 They're fucking huge. 0.99

00:19:05.000 They're jacked, too. 1.00

00:19:06.000 They're jacked. 0.99

00:19:06.000 Jacked! 0.99

00:19:07.000 Yeah, steroids.

00:19:07.000 Come on.

00:19:08.000 Until the internet came around.

00:19:12.000 I don't think anybody knew the kangaroos were jacked in America.

00:19:15.000 We did.

00:19:15.000 You guys knew.

00:19:16.000 Well, I remember when I was a kid, I saw two kangaroos having a boxing fight and they were six foot and they were punching each other in the face. 0.98

00:19:23.000 But what they do is they get on their tails and they put all of their weight onto their tails and they kick and punch.

00:19:28.000 The kick will actually kill you. 0.96

00:19:30.000 They can gut you, right? 1.00

00:19:31.000 Completely. 1.00

00:19:32.000 If you got kicked full by a big red kangaroo, you're dead. 0.94

00:19:35.000 The punches, their arms are like T-Rex arms.

00:19:37.000 They're kind of funny.

00:19:38.000 But the kicks, oof. 0.86

00:19:40.000 Well, you've seen that video of the one that has the dog in a headlock and the guy comes over and punches the kangaroo.

00:19:45.000 I've tried to see if it's set up or whether it's fake.

00:19:47.000 I think it's real.

00:19:48.000 I think it's real.

00:19:50.000 That guy got off light.

00:19:51.000 He got lucky.

00:19:51.000 Yeah.

00:19:52.000 But I wondered why the kangaroo had the dog in a headlock.

00:19:56.000 It doesn't really make any sense.

00:19:58.000 It's not really a thing that a kangaroo would do.

00:20:00.000 Well, they get each other in headlocks, don't they?

00:20:02.000 Yeah, but not for long.

00:20:04.000 It seemed like he had him in there for a good 10 seconds of that video, like he was just toying with him, you know, like the bully at school, like, hey, look at you, like that.

00:20:13.000 And then I was looking and seeing if he had been set up or something, like had been tied up to it to start the video or something, but he hadn't.

00:20:20.000 And the guy's demeanor and the way that he kind of punched the kangaroo, it seemed very real.

00:20:26.000 I'm pretty sure it's real.

00:20:27.000 I think it's real. 1.00

00:20:29.000 And it was a bitch-ass punch, too. 1.00

00:20:31.000 It was kind of a slap punch, wasn't it? 1.00

00:20:33.000 Well, it wasn't.

00:20:34.000 Well, it was a kangaroo.

00:20:36.000 He's probably not even sure what he's doing. 0.97

00:20:38.000 He's like, am I gonna fucking get out of here?

00:20:41.000 He's probably like half sure of what he's doing while he's doing it. 1.00

00:20:45.000 He's punching a fucking wild animal. 1.00

00:20:47.000 I know. 1.00

00:20:48.000 When you see those pictures of the kangaroos up against some old lady's, you know, back door, just, she act like that, like, let me in! 1.00

00:20:56.000 Just staring.

00:20:57.000 This old lady's like, oh god! 1.00

00:20:59.000 They're freaky big.

00:21:00.000 You know Eddie Eft?

00:21:02.000 Do you know Eddie Eft?

00:21:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:04.000 Eddie, he spent some time in Australia, and he told me that he had, you know, when he first went over there, he had no idea.

00:21:09.000 And he was in someone's backyard, and he saw a kangaroo that was just standing there, and he thought it was a statue.

00:21:14.000 And he starts walking, because it's like, they're not that big.

00:21:17.000 So he starts walking over to it, and it's just looking at him. 0.99

00:21:19.000 His friend starts screaming, get the fuck out of there! 1.00

00:21:23.000 Come back! 1.00

00:21:24.000 He's like, that thing will kill you! 0.91

00:21:25.000 And then he realized, like, oh my god, that's a real kangaroo, and it's like seven feet tall. 0.81

00:21:30.000 Oh, really? 1.00

00:21:30.000 Fucking jerked! 1.00

00:21:31.000 Where was he? 1.00

00:21:32.000 Did he say where he was?

00:21:33.000 Australia to me is Australia.

00:21:35.000 Yeah.

00:21:35.000 Well, there's not a six-foot kangaroo walking down the post office in Melbourne.

00:21:39.000 Where are they?

00:21:40.000 What's the area where they're most prominent?

00:21:43.000 I think kangaroos are all over, but I'd say just if you go inland about 20 minutes into the bush, as we would call it.

00:21:52.000 The bush.

00:21:53.000 Yeah, there's the forest is what you might call it.

00:21:55.000 Most of Australia is the coast.

00:21:58.000 That's where all the populated areas are.

00:21:59.000 Yeah.

00:22:00.000 The inner area is just death.

00:22:02.000 Nothing.

00:22:02.000 Death.

00:22:03.000 Death and nothing.

00:22:04.000 And nothing, like not even a tree.

00:22:06.000 I did a bunch of comedy tours around because there's mining camps all in the middle of the country.

00:22:12.000 And I drove all around it two, three times.

00:22:14.000 And you'd go for eight hours without even seeing one shrub.

00:22:19.000 Really?

00:22:19.000 Yeah, it's just flat.

00:22:20.000 Just flat.

00:22:21.000 The Nullarbor.

00:22:22.000 And are there animals out there or is it just dirt?

00:22:24.000 No, there's animals, but there's a lot of camels.

00:22:29.000 Do you know that?

00:22:30.000 Camels?

00:22:30.000 Tons of camels, yeah.

00:22:32.000 Were they imported?

00:22:33.000 I think so.

00:22:34.000 You guys have a lot of imported animals, right?

00:22:36.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:22:37.000 Camels is the one that I know most of, and I saw a lot of them.

00:22:40.000 And they got out of control, and it was a problem and stuff.

00:22:43.000 I read somewhere that we sell our camels to Saudi Arabia, because we've got so many of them, which just seems ridiculous, doesn't it?

00:22:49.000 Well, that's like Hawaii is the place where everybody gets the palm trees for LA. Like, people think that LA's palm trees are from LA, because you think of Hollywood, you think of palm trees, right?

00:22:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:58.000 All of them come from Hawaii.

00:23:00.000 Really?

00:23:01.000 Over there, Jamie, what's going on?

00:23:02.000 Over a million feral camels in Australia.

00:23:05.000 The largest population.

00:23:07.000 What?

00:23:08.000 The largest population of camels is in Australia?

00:23:11.000 And the only herd of dromedary camels exhibiting wild behavior in the world.

00:23:15.000 Do you know the largest population of tigers is in Texas?

00:23:18.000 I knew that just from, you know, the, what was that show?

00:23:22.000 Texas, the Tiger King.

00:23:23.000 Oh, Tiger King.

00:23:24.000 And then, you know, I looked into it and stuff and all that.

00:23:26.000 Yeah, there's more tigers in captivity in Texas in private collections, like people's backyards, than there are in all of the wild of the world.

00:23:34.000 Oh, that seems very wrong.

00:23:37.000 Seems terrible.

00:23:38.000 Like you've just got a cage in your backyard with a tiger.

00:23:41.000 Tiger world.

00:23:42.000 Oh, God.

00:23:43.000 Not just a tiger.

00:23:44.000 Like, multiple tigers.

00:23:45.000 I went to one in Sarasota.

00:23:48.000 I went to like a random, like a Tiger King style place.

00:23:52.000 And I felt terrible being there.

00:23:54.000 I was just like, I don't know if this is good.

00:23:57.000 Yeah, I went to Thailand and I really enjoyed Thailand.

00:24:00.000 Thailand was great.

00:24:01.000 But there was one thing that I did not enjoy.

00:24:03.000 And that was a tiger thing.

00:24:04.000 They had this...

00:24:06.000 Thailand has these places where tourists go and take photos with tigers.

00:24:10.000 Yeah.

00:24:10.000 So they have these tigers on fentanyl, and these tigers are like whacked out on drugs, just like, oh.

00:24:16.000 Yeah, some bad shit goes on. 0.96

00:24:18.000 They're barely awake, and you stand next to the tiger and take a selfie. 0.99

00:24:21.000 Hey, met a tiger!

00:24:22.000 It's fucking weird, because they have different age tigers, and so there's one area where they take you to in the beginning, and this area, this was around Chiang Mai, and in this one area they have baby tigers. 0.97

00:24:37.000 So you go in this area, and there's little tiger cubs, and they're adorable. 0.98

00:24:40.000 But they're real fast, and they're moving, and they're looking at you.

00:24:43.000 They're pouncing on top.

00:24:44.000 They're like kittens.

00:24:45.000 They're playing with stuff.

00:24:46.000 And then you go from that to this other area.

00:24:49.000 And in this other area is like a larger tiger.

00:24:53.000 It's like a year old or something, maybe a little bit more.

00:24:56.000 And in that one, you've got guys with sticks, and they're keeping the tiger away from you.

00:25:01.000 You can kind of sit next to him, but people are watching the tiger carefully.

00:25:06.000 Isn't it funny, the safety precautions in places like Thailand or Indonesia or something, and they just go, it's fine, I've got this stick, it'll be alright.

00:25:13.000 Yeah, there's a zip line, and you climb up this rusty ladder.

00:25:18.000 Who's testing this line?

00:25:20.000 This is a piece of steel. 0.97

00:25:22.000 So anyway, you go into that area, and there's guys with sticks that are kind of making sure this tiger doesn't fucking eat a kid, right? 0.85

00:25:28.000 And then from there, you go to the big tigers. 0.58

00:25:32.000 And the big tigers are all fine.

00:25:35.000 Because they're all drugged up.

00:25:36.000 They're all drugged up.

00:25:36.000 They're all like this.

00:25:37.000 Like, seriously.

00:25:38.000 Like, they can barely keep their head up.

00:25:40.000 I used to work at a place in Australia on the Gold Coast called Dream World.

00:25:44.000 And their thing was tigers.

00:25:45.000 They had tigers there. 0.51

00:25:46.000 And I would start work before the park opened.

00:25:49.000 It's like a Disneyland-type place.

00:25:53.000 And I worked in a hot dog stand, killing it.

00:25:56.000 And they'd walk the tigers around the whole park in the morning.

00:25:59.000 So I would see all of the tigers, like 20 of them, huge ones, getting walked on chains by their handlers through the park.

00:26:06.000 But they were really well accustomed and probably grew up in captivity and were used to humans and stuff.

00:26:12.000 So I could go up and pat them and stuff like that.

00:26:14.000 And they weren't drugged?

00:26:15.000 They weren't drugged.

00:26:15.000 No.

00:26:16.000 No, no.

00:26:16.000 I don't think we would get away with that in Australia.

00:26:19.000 You have to be in other parts of the world.

00:26:22.000 Yeah.

00:26:22.000 I don't know what kind of rules Thailand has, but it was really depressing.

00:26:26.000 I haven't been to Thailand, but I spent a lot of time in Bali in Indonesia.

00:26:29.000 Have you ever been there?

00:26:30.000 No.

00:26:31.000 I heard it's awesome.

00:26:32.000 It's exactly the same as Thailand, but it's just got surf, so I would spend more time in Bali rather than Thailand.

00:26:38.000 But a lot of Australians there.

00:26:39.000 I'm sure you bumped into a lot in Thailand, right?

00:26:42.000 Well, there was a lot of people from all over the world there.

00:26:44.000 There was a lot of just people vacationing there.

00:26:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:47.000 It was pretty cool.

00:26:49.000 Thailand's very interesting.

00:26:51.000 Because people are, like, they call it the land of smiles, or the land of smiling people, I forget what they say, but it's like, God, everyone's so friendly.

00:26:58.000 Like, they're really friendly people, and they're not just friendly to tourists, like, friendly to each other.

00:27:03.000 Yeah.

00:27:03.000 It seems like a happy place.

00:27:05.000 Yeah.

00:27:05.000 Which is kind of odd, because they created, like, one of the best fighting styles ever.

00:27:11.000 Right.

00:27:11.000 Muay Thai.

00:27:12.000 Yeah.

00:27:12.000 That style of stand-up fighting is one of the best stand-up fighting styles that's ever been created.

00:27:19.000 And it's wild that that fighting comes from this place where these people are so friendly.

00:27:24.000 But was it like born in the hills, like away from...

00:27:28.000 Muay Thai? 0.84

00:27:29.000 Yeah, or just in general in Thailand.

00:27:31.000 I don't know.

00:27:32.000 I should know. 0.98

00:27:33.000 Being, you know, a martial arts expert, I should probably fucking know. 0.97

00:27:37.000 It was a very specific question. 0.92

00:27:38.000 Exactly where in Thailand did it start?

00:27:40.000 Like, I just wonder, because I know that in Bali, and I'm only saying this because I haven't been to Thailand, but they're very closely related, so things that happen in the main areas of Bali and things that happen out in the hills in the middle is very, very different.

00:27:55.000 Mm.

00:27:56.000 Very different lifestyle, very different way people act and everything.

00:28:00.000 They're all lovely people, but they're working out in the middle in the rice fields and stuff, and they don't really care about your bintang singlet that you bought on the beach. 0.99

00:28:11.000 It's just a different vibe.

00:28:13.000 Right, right.

00:28:13.000 Yeah.

00:28:14.000 Well, a lot of those places have been so touristified, right?

00:28:18.000 Yeah.

00:28:18.000 I mean, Bali runs on tourism completely.

00:28:21.000 Yeah, well, so does Hawaii, right?

00:28:23.000 There's a lot of places like that where it's like, you know, it's kind of – it's strange when a lot of your economy is based on people visiting.

00:28:34.000 Australia is like that?

00:28:35.000 I guess so.

00:28:36.000 But you have Melbourne and Sydney.

00:28:38.000 Those are cities.

00:28:39.000 They have industry and there's a lot going on there.

00:28:42.000 Yeah.

00:28:42.000 But it's like when you go to a place that relies heavily on people visiting, those people got crushed during the pandemic.

00:28:50.000 Hawaii got crushed.

00:28:51.000 Yeah.

00:28:52.000 Because they had really restrictive lockdowns, really restrictive mandates, and then on top of that, no tourism for a long time.

00:29:00.000 I bet you the locals liked it.

00:29:01.000 No, they did not.

00:29:03.000 No?

00:29:03.000 No.

00:29:03.000 No, they did not.

00:29:04.000 I mean, I'm sure some of them liked it, but most of them, there's so much industry that relies on tourism. 0.97

00:29:11.000 Like, I have a friend of mine who was a boat captain out there, and for fucking a year, man, they were hurting. 0.90

00:29:18.000 There was nothing coming in. 0.97

00:29:20.000 Yeah, right.

00:29:20.000 You know, there's nobody there.

00:29:21.000 It's just like everything was shut off, and so it's like most people can't go.

00:29:26.000 Well, they say the average American, like two weeks with no income would break them.

00:29:32.000 Yeah. 0.87

00:29:32.000 I mean, the pandemic tested the shit out of everything, but in a place where tourism is important, really tested the shit out of it. 0.87

00:29:42.000 Which is probably one of the main reasons why Florida, which was one of the most tourist-heavy places in America, they were like, fuck it, we're open. 0.99

00:29:51.000 Yeah, right. 0.99

00:29:51.000 Plus, wild people. 0.99

00:29:53.000 Wild people.

00:29:54.000 Wild people, man.

00:29:55.000 That's where Leonard Skinner's from, you know?

00:29:57.000 It's where the Florida man's from, funnily enough.

00:30:00.000 That's the one state where a man from Florida doing something is like, oh, of course he's from Florida.

00:30:08.000 Isn't it funny?

00:30:09.000 You can't say that about New Hampshire.

00:30:11.000 You can't say that about South Dakota.

00:30:13.000 But Florida, you're like, oh.

00:30:15.000 The first week we were there, I was just watching the news, and there was an alligator chasing people around a Wendy's parking lot that was down the street from us.

00:30:23.000 So we drove past to have a look.

00:30:25.000 That's what was going on.

00:30:26.000 Dude, an alligator yesterday cannibalized a giant alligator, cannibalized a six-foot alligator on a golf course. 0.99

00:30:35.000 So they were literally watching this fucking monster eat a smaller monster on a golf course. 0.99

00:30:42.000 Yeah, see if you can find that. 1.00

00:30:43.000 It's wild, because this thing is huge.

00:30:47.000 Some of those monstrous ones that walk across the golf course and you just think, that is from another era, another life, another earth.

00:30:53.000 A hundred million years ago.

00:30:54.000 Look at the size of this thing.

00:30:56.000 Check this out. 1.00

00:30:57.000 Look at the size of this fucker, and he's got a six foot one that's still alive in his mouth. 1.00

00:31:03.000 No, he's just carrying his young in his mouth. 1.00

00:31:05.000 So think about how big that thing must be if that fucking thing that he's got in his mouth is six feet long. 1.00

00:31:11.000 He's got to be 15 feet long. 1.00

00:31:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:31:13.000 That is a fucking huge... 0.99

00:31:15.000 Did they say how big he is? 1.00

00:31:17.000 Or she?

00:31:19.000 I don't want to be sexist.

00:31:20.000 You shouldn't.

00:31:21.000 It could be a girl.

00:31:23.000 20 feet?

00:31:24.000 What?

00:31:24.000 Oh my god!

00:31:26.000 He's 20 feet long, and he's feeding on a six-foot alligator.

00:31:29.000 It's a claim, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:30.000 Someone who lives on the golf course, I think.

00:31:32.000 Grandpappy, they call him.

00:31:33.000 So video shows huge Lakeland alligator Grandpappy eating smaller gator on a golf course. 1.00

00:31:39.000 Holy shit, man. 0.99

00:31:42.000 What's that to stop... 1.00

00:31:43.000 I mean, what's to stop you from...

00:31:45.000 People don't get eaten that much by alligators, which is weird.

00:31:48.000 But the alligator's not running around crazy looking for that kind of thing, don't you think?

00:31:53.000 Like, if it wants to, it'll go.

00:31:56.000 And they run pretty fast, right?

00:31:59.000 But if you run diagonal, then they get confused and freak out and fall over.

00:32:04.000 Well, they're not bright.

00:32:07.000 Hey, they've lasted from the dinosaurs.

00:32:09.000 They've done something.

00:32:10.000 Well, they don't have to be bright.

00:32:11.000 They just eat rotten meat.

00:32:12.000 You know, that's one of the reasons why they lived.

00:32:15.000 Elon is actually the first person that said that to me.

00:32:17.000 He goes, well, they're actually perfectly suited for a pandemic or for an apocalypse because everything's dead and that's what they eat.

00:32:23.000 Really?

00:32:24.000 Like, whoa.

00:32:25.000 Who do you think would win out of, like, a shark and an alligator?

00:32:28.000 Or a crocodile?

00:32:31.000 Oh, that's a good question.

00:32:34.000 Like a great white versus that 20-footer?

00:32:36.000 20-footer shark versus 20-footer crocodile?

00:32:39.000 In the water, I would think that the shark would have a big advantage.

00:32:43.000 Well, you know what the crocodiles do is they do the crocodile roll, which is they grab you by their teeth like that and then roll down and down and down and down and then they go to the bottom and put a rock on top of you and let you die there and then they come back and get you when you're nice and rotten for them.

00:32:58.000 Yeah, that's what they like.

00:32:59.000 They like aged meat.

00:33:02.000 Yeah.

00:33:02.000 Like, you know, you go to a nice steakhouse.

00:33:04.000 And they got the blue meat hanging in the window, and you're like, yeah, I want that 200-year-old.

00:33:09.000 Isn't that weird?

00:33:09.000 It's so weird.

00:33:10.000 It's weird, but they display it. 0.99

00:33:12.000 They display that dry-aged beef, and it looks fucking gross. 0.99

00:33:16.000 It looks gross. 0.98

00:33:17.000 You walk in, and they've just got hanging meat from the 60s, and they're like, hey, why don't you try this?

00:33:22.000 I know guys who do that with wild game.

00:33:24.000 They do that with elk.

00:33:25.000 There's these machines that you can buy.

00:33:28.000 They do it with fish, too.

00:33:29.000 They age fish.

00:33:30.000 Really?

00:33:31.000 Yeah, they dry age fish.

00:33:32.000 Apparently, it's delicious.

00:33:33.000 Have you seen that bloke that eats just the raw...

00:33:37.000 That's a gimmick, that guy. 0.99

00:33:39.000 It just looks ridiculous. 0.88

00:33:40.000 He's got a plate of hearts, and it just looks weird. 1.00

00:33:43.000 He's got an ass filled with steroids, is what he's got. 0.99

00:33:46.000 Yeah, he should have a big plate of steroids next to it. 1.00

00:33:48.000 That is not a natural body.

00:33:50.000 Of course it's not. 1.00

00:33:51.000 That guy is shooting all kinds of shit into his system to achieve that kind of physique. 1.00

00:33:55.000 Completely. 1.00

00:33:56.000 Yeah, there's this guy, Derek, who's been on my podcast before.

00:33:59.000 He's got this YouTube page, moreplatesmoredates.com.

00:34:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:03.000 There's his website.

00:34:04.000 You know that guy?

00:34:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:05.000 And More Plates, More Dates, though, the YouTube page did a whole takedown of, not a takedown, but again, an examination of this guy's claims that he's natural and that what he's, you know, is like living off the nine pillars of health and sustainability or whatever the fuck it is, like liver and testicles and drinking blood.

00:34:22.000 Like, it's a gimmick. 0.86

00:34:23.000 It is.

00:34:24.000 I mean, look, you know, I don't even know if there's a benefit in eating raw meat.

00:34:29.000 From what I've understood, talking to experts, There's actually a lot gained from cooking because the protein becomes more bioavailable.

00:34:40.000 Like eating raw meat like that, you're not getting as much of the actual nutrients from it.

00:34:46.000 Maybe you're getting some...

00:34:49.000 Additional factors from the fact that you're getting a rare piece of meat with blood and stuff like that.

00:34:54.000 Maybe there's other things.

00:34:55.000 Maybe you're getting too much protein if you're eating a giant steak and it's cooked well.

00:34:59.000 But as far as bioavailability, they think that human beings cooking meat is one of the things that led to our evolution, that helped our evolution along because we had more protein access.

00:35:14.000 And also it kills off bad bacteria.

00:35:16.000 So you could have a piece of meat that was on the outside.

00:35:19.000 It's kind of funky, but you cook it and you could eat it.

00:35:22.000 Yeah, okay.

00:35:23.000 I haven't eaten raw meat.

00:35:25.000 You never have?

00:35:26.000 Have you?

00:35:26.000 Yeah, a lot.

00:35:28.000 Steak tartare.

00:35:29.000 You never had steak tartare?

00:35:30.000 Oh, I have.

00:35:30.000 I'm lying.

00:35:31.000 Yes.

00:35:31.000 I forgot my own life.

00:35:32.000 It's raw.

00:35:32.000 See?

00:35:33.000 It's raw.

00:35:35.000 Steak tartare is delicious.

00:35:36.000 A little egg on it, and they mix a little cheese in there.

00:35:38.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:35:39.000 It's a bit fleshy for me.

00:35:40.000 I kind of eat it, and I go, oh, I'm being high class, but in my head I'm going, I'd rather it was cooked.

00:35:46.000 I've had raw elk.

00:35:47.000 I've had raw deer.

00:35:49.000 But I don't prefer it.

00:35:50.000 It tastes delicious when you cook it and season it.

00:35:52.000 That's the whole deal, man.

00:35:54.000 Yeah.

00:35:55.000 I haven't eaten elk.

00:35:57.000 You haven't?

00:35:58.000 I don't go shooting elks like you do on a Wednesday and then have a freezer full of elk.

00:36:02.000 Next time you're in town, I'll have you and the lady over and we'll cook for you. 1.00

00:36:07.000 Yeah, she'll love that.

00:36:08.000 She's like a vegetarian. 0.98

00:36:11.000 Well, Ian Edwards is a vegan.

00:36:13.000 He promises me when he comes to my house that he'll eat elk.

00:36:16.000 He goes, I'll eat it because you killed it.

00:36:18.000 She'll eat elk with you because she loves you. 0.94

00:36:20.000 Well, okay.

00:36:21.000 I'll cook it.

00:36:22.000 I'll cook it then.

00:36:23.000 Maybe it'll change your life. 1.00

00:36:24.000 Well, actually, she started eating a bit of red meat and stuff because the doctor said, you know, your iron deficiencies are shit. 1.00

00:36:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:36:30.000 And so she got that. 0.99

00:36:32.000 So she's introducing it back in.

00:36:34.000 I don't know how people who are vegan get iron.

00:36:38.000 Is there iron that you can get from certain vegetables?

00:36:40.000 I don't know.

00:36:40.000 You can take supplements, I guess, but there's iron in spinach.

00:36:44.000 That's why Popeye is so strong.

00:36:47.000 Speaking of which, I found a YouTube video, The Real Life Popeye.

00:36:51.000 Oh my God.

00:36:52.000 There's this guy who is like...

00:36:55.000 I think he's like 5'8", and he weighs 250 pounds, and it's just natural.

00:37:01.000 He just was born with naturally enormous hands and naturally enormous forearms.

00:37:07.000 Really?

00:37:08.000 When I mean enormous, I mean this guy takes...

00:37:12.000 Yeah, that guy.

00:37:13.000 That's the real-life Popeye.

00:37:14.000 Bro, I'm telling you, his fingers are so big.

00:37:18.000 Look at the size of his hands and his arms.

00:37:20.000 And this is natural.

00:37:21.000 He's just born like this.

00:37:23.000 So this guy's fingers are so big that a toilet paper roll is tight on his finger.

00:37:28.000 Oh, wow.

00:37:29.000 That's how big his finger is.

00:37:30.000 Oh, look at him.

00:37:31.000 Play some of this.

00:37:32.000 This is a real guy.

00:37:34.000 Look at the size of his arms.

00:37:36.000 I mean, he really is Popeye.

00:37:38.000 But, like, most of him is normal-sized.

00:37:41.000 Like, look at his head is normal-sized.

00:37:43.000 His neck is normal-sized. 1.00

00:37:44.000 But his fucking hands are preposterous. 1.00

00:37:47.000 I wonder if he's got a big cock. 1.00

00:37:49.000 He says his... 1.00

00:37:51.000 Wonder all day.

00:37:52.000 His forearms measure 49 centimeters.

00:37:55.000 I don't know what that is.

00:37:57.000 Look at the size of his hands!

00:38:00.000 Go back to that.

00:38:01.000 Look at the size of his hands arm wrestling that dude. 0.98

00:38:03.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:38:03.000 Look at the fucking size of that guy's hands. 1.00

00:38:07.000 They're literally like five of my hands. 1.00

00:38:10.000 Dude, he must struggle to wipe his ass. 1.00

00:38:13.000 Why? 1.00

00:38:14.000 Because of his mittens. 1.00

00:38:15.000 Try and wipe your ass with a baseball glove. 1.00

00:38:17.000 It's not like it's stopping his reach. 1.00

00:38:20.000 Just get a finger in there. 1.00

00:38:22.000 Your finger, that finger's like...

00:38:24.000 Wrap it all up.

00:38:25.000 Look at the size of a beer bottle in his hand. 1.00

00:38:27.000 That is fucking crazy. 1.00

00:38:30.000 Look at that beer. 1.00

00:38:32.000 That's crazy.

00:38:34.000 And this guy, it's totally natural.

00:38:37.000 He was just born.

00:38:37.000 Look at that photo of the woman with her hand next to his hand down there.

00:38:41.000 The one in the lower right hand corner.

00:38:43.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:38:44.000 Look at the size of his hands.

00:38:47.000 I mean, and it's just a genetic role.

00:38:50.000 You know, some people have big noses. 0.99

00:38:52.000 Some people have giant dicks. 1.00

00:38:53.000 This guy's got fucking enormous hands and forearms. 1.00

00:38:57.000 It's weird. 1.00

00:38:59.000 Does he have medical problems?

00:39:01.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:39:03.000 No, in the video he talks about it.

00:39:04.000 He says, I don't have any aches or pains or nothing hurts.

00:39:07.000 He goes, it's normal.

00:39:08.000 He was just born.

00:39:09.000 That's his wedding ring.

00:39:10.000 Look at the size of it.

00:39:12.000 Oh my god.

00:39:13.000 Yeah.

00:39:13.000 Look at the toilet paper roll on his finger.

00:39:15.000 Like, what the fuck, man? 1.00

00:39:17.000 And it's just, he was just born that way. 1.00

00:39:20.000 I'm telling you, he's struggling to wipe his ass. 1.00

00:39:22.000 I don't know why you're fixated on that. 1.00

00:39:24.000 You're right, I should move on.

00:39:27.000 But what's strange is that the other parts of him aren't proportionately large.

00:39:33.000 Like, I don't know how big his feet are, but like, look at, see if it shows his feet.

00:39:40.000 Does it show his feet?

00:39:41.000 And is there anything?

00:39:43.000 Look at that phone!

00:39:44.000 Go down and look at the flip phone in his hand.

00:39:48.000 You see the flip? 1.00

00:39:49.000 Look at that fucking thing! 1.00

00:39:50.000 It looks like a toy thing. 1.00

00:39:51.000 How is that guy gonna fucking... 0.97

00:39:53.000 Like, you know that little box you have to click on to get rid of the ad? 0.98

00:39:56.000 That little tiny little X in the corner that you can barely touch?

00:39:59.000 Oh yeah, he's not clicking that.

00:40:00.000 With our fingers, we can barely touch it. 0.99

00:40:02.000 How is that fucking guy finding that thing? 0.99

00:40:04.000 He is getting that ad every time. 1.00

00:40:06.000 You know how they trick you?

00:40:08.000 Because if you do it the wrong way, you get the ad.

00:40:10.000 Look at him, he's normal-sized.

00:40:12.000 Everything else is normal.

00:40:14.000 That's crazy.

00:40:15.000 His feet look normal feet.

00:40:17.000 His legs are normal legs. 0.95

00:40:18.000 He's got a tiny butt. 0.97

00:40:20.000 For a big guy, it's a small butt, right? 0.99

00:40:23.000 I mean, I don't want to fixate either. 1.00

00:40:25.000 Yeah, we've both been focusing on his ass a little bit too much. 1.00

00:40:28.000 That looks like a big foot. 1.00

00:40:30.000 At least one big foot.

00:40:32.000 But it looks like his foot has moved forward.

00:40:35.000 Is that a...

00:40:37.000 What is going on there?

00:40:38.000 I don't know.

00:40:38.000 Yeah, that looks kind of weird.

00:40:39.000 That's weird.

00:40:40.000 That seems like a deformity thing.

00:40:42.000 Like he's got one large foot and one small foot.

00:40:45.000 Is that just a perspective photo?

00:40:48.000 So that's weird too.

00:40:51.000 No, those shoes look the same size in that picture.

00:40:53.000 It's just his legs look weird because the rest of his body is so enormous.

00:41:00.000 But apparently he's a champion arm wrestler, which is like not confusing.

00:41:05.000 No.

00:41:05.000 Makes sense.

00:41:07.000 That's him compared to the biggest guy in the world.

00:41:09.000 Oh, the tallest guy ever?

00:41:11.000 Wow.

00:41:12.000 Is that Ripley's Believe It or Not or something hilarious?

00:41:14.000 I wonder if that's a real guy in there, like a skeleton.

00:41:18.000 Did you know there was a Buddha statue once, and they found out that it was actually a mummified Buddha that they had covered with a statue?

00:41:26.000 They did an x-ray on this thing, and inside of it is like an actual Buddha guy, like an actual yogi who was in a lotus position.

00:41:35.000 That they did the statue around him.

00:41:38.000 Well, that's not that weird.

00:41:40.000 Well, it's weird that they didn't know it.

00:41:42.000 People had the statue they didn't know was a dead guy outside of it.

00:41:44.000 How old was the statue?

00:41:45.000 That's a good question.

00:41:46.000 Because if it was, you know, I mean, there's tombs and mummies and everything all over the place.

00:41:51.000 But look at the statue.

00:41:52.000 I think that's unreal.

00:41:53.000 That's what I want.

00:41:54.000 That's crazy, right?

00:41:56.000 See, like that thing.

00:41:57.000 He ain't clicking that thing.

00:41:58.000 That little thing in the corner.

00:41:59.000 He has to sign up to the History Channel.

00:42:01.000 That guy's subscribing.

00:42:02.000 He's subscribing every time.

00:42:04.000 Could you pull back up to the images again?

00:42:06.000 So is a monk, a mummified monk inside an ancient Buddha statue, which is wild, man, because I don't know what the statue's made of, but it looks like, is it like pottery?

00:42:17.000 What does that look like?

00:42:19.000 Medical examination of a thousand-year-old Buddha statue revealed a shocking surprise hidden inside an actual person's body.

00:42:27.000 So, Meander Medical Center in the Dutch town of Amsterfoort.

00:42:35.000 Amsterfoort, of course.

00:42:36.000 Amsterfoort has plenty of experience treating senior citizens, but none as old as the 1,000-year-old patient who came, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:42:43.000 Researchers brought a millennium-old statue of the Buddha, which had been on loan from the Drents Museum in the Netherlands to the state-of-the-art hospital in the hopes that the modern medical technology could shed light on an ancient mystery.

00:42:58.000 For hidden inside the gold-painted figure was a secret, the mummy of a Buddhist monk in a lotus position, shown outside of China for the first time last year.

00:43:08.000 So how do they know, though?

00:43:10.000 That's what's confusing.

00:43:11.000 Did they open it up?

00:43:12.000 Did they ruin the whole thing and open it up?

00:43:14.000 I don't think they did, man.

00:43:15.000 Just leave it in there.

00:43:16.000 Oh, they sampled the material for DNA, it said.

00:43:19.000 Huggerman slid an ancient artifact slowly into a high-tech imaging machine for a full-body CT scan and sampled bone material for DNA testing.

00:43:31.000 Gastroenterologist?

00:43:32.000 Say that word. 0.63

00:43:35.000 Gastroenterologist.

00:43:36.000 And say his name now.

00:43:39.000 Try that.

00:43:40.000 Reynoud Verminschladel.

00:43:45.000 Vermageddon.

00:43:46.000 Vermageddon.

00:43:47.000 Vermageddon.

00:43:48.000 Used a specially designed endoscope to extract samples from the mummy's chest and abdominal cavities.

00:43:55.000 Now it's known the tests have revealed a surprise.

00:43:57.000 The monk's organs had been removed and replaced with scraps of paper printed with ancient Chinese characters and other rotted materials since has not been identified.

00:44:07.000 How the organs had been taken from the mummy remains a mystery.

00:44:10.000 Wow.

00:44:10.000 That's cool.

00:44:11.000 I wonder why they knew there was something in there, though. 0.99

00:44:14.000 Like, that's not normal that you threw a fucking... 0.99

00:44:16.000 Yeah, you go and do a CT scan of your... 0.99

00:44:19.000 So, look, scroll up there.

00:44:21.000 No, you're right there.

00:44:22.000 The body inside the statue is thought to be that of the Buddhist master Liu Quan, a member of the Chinese meditation school who died around A.D. 1100. How did Liu Quan's body end up inside...

00:44:35.000 I hope I'm saying that right...

00:44:36.000 ...end up inside ancient Chinese statue?

00:44:39.000 One possibility explored by the Drent Museum is the gruesome process of self-mummification...

00:44:45.000 In which monks hope to transform themselves into revered living Buddhas.

00:44:50.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:44:51.000 He put himself in there.

00:44:52.000 The practice of self-mummification amongst Buddhist monks was most common in Japan but occurred elsewhere in Asia, including China, as described in Ken Jeremiah's book, Living Buddhas.

00:45:04.000 Monks interested in self-mummification spent upwards of a decade following a special diet that gradually starved their bodies and enhanced their chances of preservation. 0.99

00:45:13.000 Holy shit! 0.99

00:45:15.000 They eschewed any food... 1.00

00:45:17.000 I never know how to say that word because I only read it.

00:45:19.000 How do you say that word?

00:45:20.000 Eschewed?

00:45:21.000 Eschewed.

00:45:22.000 That's a word that I've never said.

00:45:24.000 Eschewed.

00:45:24.000 I'm 54. I've never even seen that word.

00:45:26.000 I've seen that word, but I've only read it.

00:45:28.000 I've never actually said it out loud.

00:45:31.000 Any food made from rice, wheat, and soybeans and instead ate nuts, berries, tree bark, and pine needles.

00:45:41.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:45:45.000 They also ate herbs.

00:45:47.000 What is that word?

00:45:48.000 Sysad?

00:45:49.000 Kysad?

00:45:50.000 Sysad nuts?

00:45:51.000 And sesame seeds to inhibit bacterial growth. 1.00

00:45:54.000 Holy fuck! 1.00

00:45:55.000 They drank a poisonous tree sap that was used to make lacquer. 1.00

00:46:00.000 So that the toxicity would repel insects and pervade the body as an embalming fluid.

00:46:07.000 Pervade?

00:46:08.000 Wow. 1.00

00:46:08.000 Shit, they went on a 10-year diet to kill themselves. 1.00

00:46:11.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:46:13.000 And turn themselves in. 1.00

00:46:14.000 But you know, that was a thing with the Buddha.

00:46:16.000 Like there's images of the Buddha, like the original Buddha that was like, he was starved to death.

00:46:21.000 Have you ever seen those?

00:46:22.000 No.

00:46:22.000 They made statues of the Buddha where he was like basically a skeleton.

00:46:27.000 They're weird statues.

00:46:28.000 And that was, I guess, a part of that process.

00:46:31.000 See if you can find any of those skeleton-like Buddha statues.

00:46:36.000 How would you say it?

00:46:36.000 Starved Buddha statues.

00:46:38.000 But that was like a thing that they would make these images of the Buddha in this state where he was apparently probably going through that thing.

00:46:48.000 Like, yeah, those. 0.99

00:46:49.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:46:51.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:46:51.000 That looked like something out of Indiana Jones. 1.00

00:46:53.000 It's scary.

00:46:54.000 See, go to that Quora thing.

00:46:56.000 What does the emaciated body of the Buddhist statue represent?

00:47:02.000 They're not really good.

00:47:03.000 Not good answers?

00:47:05.000 They can be made by anybody, though.

00:47:07.000 Well, let's see.

00:47:08.000 It represents the six-year period of renunciation that the Buddha practiced from age 20 to 36, approximately 446 to 440 B.C., Based on traditional Indian, especially Saramana,

00:47:25.000 belief in self-mortification, before he realized the futility of extreme asceticism and renounced it as well when he was on the verge of dying, So he wised up. 0.95

00:47:39.000 So the Buddha did the same thing those monks did, and he was like, what the fuck am I doing? 0.96

00:47:44.000 He stopped. 0.98

00:47:45.000 He stopped. 0.99

00:47:45.000 What the fuck am I doing? 0.99

00:47:46.000 I'm renouncing this. 0.99

00:47:47.000 But look, he had gotten to the point of basically almost death.

00:47:51.000 So that practice, since, okay, so that's 446 BC, so that statue was older than that.

00:47:59.000 So the statue was a thousand years old, right?

00:48:01.000 It was a thousand B.C., wasn't it?

00:48:02.000 No.

00:48:03.000 No, no, it was a thousand years from now.

00:48:04.000 So it was a thousand A.D. Right.

00:48:06.000 So this was pre-that.

00:48:08.000 So that guy was probably, he didn't get the full wire that the Buddha bailed on.

00:48:12.000 He didn't get the facts.

00:48:13.000 Yeah, he didn't get the full details. 1.00

00:48:15.000 So he decided, well, the Buddha was a pussy. 1.00

00:48:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:18.000 And he quit. 1.00

00:48:18.000 I'm going to do what the Buddha couldn't do. 1.00

00:48:20.000 I'm not a fucking quitter. 1.00

00:48:21.000 I want to be a statue, bitch. 1.00

00:48:22.000 I'm going to be better than the Buddha. 1.00

00:48:23.000 But the whole Buddhist monk thing is an odd practice anyway, right? 0.99

00:48:28.000 Because I'm a dumbass, can you just explain? 0.97

00:48:30.000 There's more than one Buddha, right? 0.99

00:48:32.000 Or has been?

00:48:32.000 Well, there's the Buddha, who's thought to be the...

00:48:37.000 Look at that image of him.

00:48:38.000 Whoa.

00:48:39.000 Look at his guts.

00:48:41.000 So I was wondering if he was holding something or what that is.

00:48:45.000 I think that just represented his hands, man.

00:48:47.000 That's his hips, buddy.

00:48:49.000 Oof.

00:48:50.000 That's no stomach at all.

00:48:51.000 His organs have shrunk up.

00:48:53.000 Yeah.

00:48:53.000 I think he's got too many ribs, though.

00:48:55.000 This bitch just need to take an anatomy lesson. 1.00

00:48:58.000 Does he have too many ribs? 1.00

00:48:59.000 How many ribs do you have?

00:49:00.000 Do you even know how many ribs?

00:49:00.000 Maybe some of it's muscle.

00:49:01.000 26. I made that up completely.

00:49:04.000 Because there's muscle up there.

00:49:05.000 But they look different than the other one to the left.

00:49:07.000 That one looks more realistic.

00:49:08.000 Like that one there, the tan looking...

00:49:10.000 Yeah, that looks more realistic.

00:49:12.000 See, that looks like real ribs.

00:49:13.000 Look at these sunken eyes.

00:49:14.000 So look at the ribs on that one, and then look at the ribs on that gray one right there. 1.00

00:49:18.000 That gray one looks fake as fuck. 0.99

00:49:19.000 It's too many ribs. 1.00

00:49:20.000 How many ribs do you think you have?

00:49:22.000 I don't know how many ribs you have.

00:49:23.000 I'm going 26. 26. You mean both sides?

00:49:26.000 No, all up.

00:49:26.000 26. I might be thinking of teeth.

00:49:29.000 I might be confused.

00:49:30.000 I don't know how many teeth you have either.

00:49:32.000 But if you think of how many ribs you have on each side, let me guess, without touching my own ribs.

00:49:38.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. I might have gone a bit too many.

00:49:42.000 I'm going to stick with it.

00:49:43.000 I'm going to say 22. I'm going to say 11 on each side.

00:49:48.000 12 on each side?

00:49:49.000 Is it 12?

00:49:50.000 12 pairs.

00:49:52.000 You're pretty close.

00:49:53.000 We were right in the middle.

00:49:54.000 You said 22. Yeah, but look at his though.

00:49:57.000 Look at that one weird one that we just saw. 0.99

00:50:00.000 That fucking guy had like 50. How many has he got? 1.00

00:50:02.000 He's got a shit ton. 0.99

00:50:03.000 Look at that nice muscle he's got going with him. 0.99

00:50:07.000 You like that?

00:50:08.000 Look at that nice muscle he's got going on there.

00:50:11.000 Bro, that's skin.

00:50:12.000 Yeah.

00:50:13.000 That guy probably- That's tendon. 0.99

00:50:14.000 That probably- That guy can't curl a fucking jar of white out. 0.99

00:50:19.000 That guy didn't lift. 0.99

00:50:20.000 He didn't lift.

00:50:21.000 No.

00:50:21.000 You lift, bro?

00:50:22.000 You lift, bro?

00:50:23.000 How many has he got there?

00:50:23.000 He's got too many.

00:50:24.000 That's too many.

00:50:25.000 Count them.

00:50:25.000 He looks like Predator.

00:50:26.000 He's got too many. 0.99

00:50:27.000 They put nipples on him, though, too. 0.99

00:50:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:29.000 It's like the Batman suit.

00:50:30.000 How many has he got?

00:50:31.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. Yeah, he's got too many ribs.

00:50:39.000 They didn't know what the fuck they were doing. 1.00

00:50:41.000 It's all fake. 0.99

00:50:43.000 Fake news.

00:50:44.000 This is bullshit. 1.00

00:50:44.000 Fake news, bro. 1.00

00:50:46.000 But that whole Buddhist monk thing, the suffering thing, is a strange thing.

00:50:49.000 I have a friend who became a monk.

00:50:51.000 Yeah?

00:50:52.000 Yeah.

00:50:52.000 I became a monk while I knew him.

00:50:54.000 He was a friend of mine from Taekwondo.

00:50:56.000 His name was Joe.

00:50:57.000 And we used to train together.

00:50:59.000 And he just decided at one point in time that he wanted to go to this Buddhism, this Buddhist temple to learn Buddhism and to...

00:51:10.000 He wanted to get control over his mind because he got very nervous during sparring and got very nervous when it came time for training and competing.

00:51:24.000 He competed a few times too. 1.00

00:51:25.000 He would just lose his shit. 1.00

00:51:27.000 And he's like, maybe meditation would help me get through this. 1.00

00:51:30.000 So he started meditating and taking these Buddhist practices and doing this time at the temple.

00:51:39.000 And then switched to a strict vegetarian diet.

00:51:43.000 And then completely quit doing Taekwondo and just became a monk.

00:51:47.000 And we used to go visit him.

00:51:49.000 And we used to go visit Joe the Monk.

00:51:52.000 Where?

00:51:52.000 Did he live at a monastery?

00:51:53.000 Yeah, he lived in a monastery.

00:51:54.000 He swept up at a temple.

00:51:56.000 It was very odd, because I knew him before that, and he was a guy that we would train with.

00:52:01.000 Yeah, right.

00:52:01.000 And then over time, he became a monk.

00:52:04.000 And, you know, he...

00:52:05.000 Silent?

00:52:06.000 No, no, he would talk, and he would laugh and joke around with you and stuff.

00:52:10.000 But, like, he would only eat vegetables, and he would never speak badly about anyone or anything.

00:52:16.000 It was really interesting.

00:52:17.000 Did he seem happy?

00:52:20.000 Happy is a weird thing.

00:52:22.000 What is happy?

00:52:23.000 He's incontent.

00:52:24.000 He didn't have a mate.

00:52:25.000 He didn't have a wife or a boyfriend.

00:52:27.000 There was no one in his life.

00:52:31.000 It seemed like it was just him and meditation and silence.

00:52:37.000 He would like, he had a koan, you know, like there's a thing you're supposed to meditate on.

00:52:42.000 I think that's what a koan is.

00:52:44.000 And like his was the sound of like, it was like one of those, the sound of one hand clapping thing.

00:52:49.000 Oh yeah, right.

00:52:50.000 I don't think that was it, but it was that kind of thing.

00:52:53.000 A tree falling in the woods.

00:52:54.000 Well, you're supposed to think about it constantly, even though it doesn't necessarily make sense.

00:53:01.000 And the idea is that through that, you somehow or another achieve enlightenment by focusing on this one thing over and over and over and over again.

00:53:09.000 Maybe that's some sort of a brain hack.

00:53:13.000 But I remember I was a kid at the time when he did this.

00:53:16.000 I was probably 16, something like that.

00:53:19.000 It was 15 when I knew him.

00:53:21.000 And then maybe like 16, 17 when he became a monk and we would go visit him.

00:53:25.000 It was very strange.

00:53:26.000 We'd go to eat with him.

00:53:27.000 You'd have to eat vegetables.

00:53:29.000 Would he come out and go into wherever you were?

00:53:33.000 Yeah, he could go places.

00:53:35.000 Into San Francisco and go and have some drinks?

00:53:37.000 Yeah, this was in Boston.

00:53:38.000 No, he wouldn't have drinks.

00:53:39.000 No way.

00:53:40.000 He just drank water and tea.

00:53:42.000 And he was different, man.

00:53:45.000 He was all in.

00:53:47.000 He had decided that that was his life, and he was subscribing to all of their belief systems and their practices.

00:53:55.000 Did you and your friends ever at any stage think we've got to get him out of there?

00:53:58.000 Like maybe he's being brainwashed or something?

00:54:00.000 No.

00:54:01.000 I mean, he was older than us, so we weren't in a position to tell him what to do.

00:54:06.000 Right.

00:54:07.000 Because all of us were around the same age.

00:54:11.000 I was the youngest guy, but only about a year or two.

00:54:14.000 And I think Joe was like 30-ish.

00:54:17.000 So we were teens, early 20s, and this guy was in his 30s.

00:54:21.000 And he was hanging around a bunch of teenagers.

00:54:23.000 Well, he was training with us.

00:54:25.000 Oh, okay.

00:54:25.000 He wasn't hanging out with us.

00:54:26.000 I'll take it back.

00:54:27.000 We were all training at the same Taekwondo school, and he just decided that that was his life.

00:54:34.000 And he seemed content, I'll say that.

00:54:38.000 Happy is like you're around someone, they got a big smile on their face, they love what they do.

00:54:43.000 Happy is you catch a big fish.

00:54:45.000 That's happy.

00:54:46.000 Whoa, look at that.

00:54:47.000 He wasn't that, but he seemed like he was on this path, and this path provided him some sort of clarity or some peace in his life that he seemed was worth sacrificing.

00:55:04.000 He didn't have sex, and we were joking around with him about that.

00:55:08.000 Like, that's it?

00:55:10.000 Forever?

00:55:10.000 No more sex?

00:55:11.000 Did he jack off? 1.00

00:55:12.000 No. 1.00

00:55:13.000 No masturbation? 1.00

00:55:14.000 Bullshit. 1.00

00:55:14.000 I know, that's what I say. 1.00

00:55:16.000 Fucking liar. 1.00

00:55:16.000 Maybe he fucked a pillow. 1.00

00:55:18.000 You know, maybe he's in a trance. 1.00

00:55:21.000 You know how monks fuck pillows, you know. 1.00

00:55:23.000 Yeah, pretended. 0.99

00:55:24.000 I don't know what he did, you know, but he was the first guy that I ever met that sort of like left society.

00:55:31.000 And I remember he stayed at this temple that we knew where the temple was.

00:55:34.000 We'd go see him there.

00:55:35.000 I've known people that have done that, kind of left society, but not that deep.

00:55:39.000 They've gone to a remote island in Indonesia and they just surf.

00:55:44.000 Yeah, I've heard of that before. 0.99

00:55:46.000 Yeah, I know people that have sort of dropped out and live in a small town, live in a log cabin and shit. 0.97

00:55:53.000 I've thought about it. 0.97

00:55:54.000 I think it'd be good.

00:55:56.000 I'd get too frustrated.

00:55:58.000 I think there's something to that.

00:56:00.000 There's something to like being in the woods and there's something to just being alone with nature.

00:56:06.000 Have you ever seen that Werner Herzog documentary, Happy People?

00:56:10.000 No.

00:56:10.000 It's a year in the taiga.

00:56:13.000 The taiga is...

00:56:14.000 Oh, I know what you're talking about.

00:56:16.000 But I haven't seen it yet.

00:56:17.000 Siberia.

00:56:17.000 And one of the things that these guys look forward to is the wintertime when they become trappers and they go to these cabins that they have in the woods and they love it that they're alone.

00:56:28.000 And it's just them and their dogs and they're just alone in the woods.

00:56:33.000 And they really look forward to it.

00:56:35.000 They really look forward to that stillness of nature and being out there and...

00:56:39.000 I like my alone time from time to time.

00:56:42.000 Do you get any alone time in your life anymore?

00:56:44.000 Probably not.

00:56:45.000 Yeah, I get alone time.

00:56:46.000 Yeah, I do.

00:56:48.000 If I'm working on the road, it's a full weekend of, you know, I'm in the hotel room, I'm in the airport by myself, I usually just...

00:56:56.000 I like sitting there sometimes and listening to some music and just watching people and seeing how they move around and interact and stuff, and it's interesting.

00:57:04.000 Do you get material from that, you think?

00:57:07.000 Sometimes, but more so it just kind of relaxes me a little bit.

00:57:12.000 This sounds stupid, but if I go into a shopping center or something and sit in the food court and just put music on and just kind of watch people, it kind of makes me happy with humanity because people are smiling and happy and enjoying each other's company and stuff,

00:57:29.000 and it's kind of nice sometimes. 0.97

00:57:31.000 Yeah, it's good to people watch.

00:57:32.000 It's good to be an observer, right?

00:57:34.000 Yeah.

00:57:35.000 That's one thing I can't really be anymore.

00:57:36.000 It's hard to be an observer.

00:57:38.000 No, you can't.

00:57:39.000 You become the observed.

00:57:41.000 Yeah, you'd have to put on a full disguise.

00:57:42.000 But that was one nice thing about the pandemic.

00:57:45.000 You could wear a mask.

00:57:46.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:57:47.000 And just fucking sneak around. 0.99

00:57:48.000 You can't hide behind a mask. 1.00

00:57:50.000 You've got too much.

00:57:51.000 It's you.

00:57:52.000 You're a tattoo now. 0.51

00:57:54.000 There's no escaping your image.

00:57:56.000 I was hanging out with Robert Pattinson a couple days ago and we were having the same conversation.

00:58:02.000 Yeah, I was hanging out with Batman.

00:58:03.000 Was he a legend?

00:58:04.000 Name drop.

00:58:05.000 He's a great guy.

00:58:05.000 Really nice guy.

00:58:06.000 Really enjoyed his company.

00:58:08.000 I met him once, actually.

00:58:09.000 I forgot.

00:58:09.000 I worked on the Harry Potter film.

00:58:11.000 I was living in England, and I was working for the company that built all the sets.

00:58:15.000 This was when I was young.

00:58:16.000 And he was young, too, on the film.

00:58:19.000 And he was nervous.

00:58:20.000 And I was standing there making sure the sets didn't fall down, and they were filming, and he stood right next to me, and he went, Hello, how are you?

00:58:26.000 And I'm like, Hey, how are you?

00:58:29.000 And then Daniel Radcliffe came up, actually.

00:58:31.000 The three of us were having a chat.

00:58:33.000 Nice.

00:58:33.000 It was fun.

00:58:34.000 It's fun when you meet someone that's that famous and a movie star and they're just a fucking dude. 0.99

00:58:39.000 Just a normal guy. 0.98

00:58:40.000 He's a normal guy.

00:58:42.000 He's genuine.

00:58:43.000 I had a long conversation with him.

00:58:44.000 We got drunk.

00:58:46.000 We had a good time.

00:58:47.000 Yeah, we hung out for hours. 0.99

00:58:49.000 He's fucking super normal. 0.97

00:58:50.000 Have you seen the movie? 0.99

00:58:51.000 The Batman?

00:58:52.000 I have not.

00:58:52.000 I heard it's awesome.

00:58:53.000 Unbelievable.

00:58:54.000 Really?

00:58:54.000 Oh my god.

00:58:56.000 Everything about it.

00:58:57.000 I loved it.

00:58:57.000 Maybe it was because I hadn't been to the movies in two years and I just went, I'm at the movies!

00:59:01.000 But I couldn't stop thinking about it.

00:59:05.000 They used this soundtrack.

00:59:06.000 I don't want to give away too much, but I think I can say this without ruining it for you.

00:59:10.000 So the director, I watched a thing on it.

00:59:12.000 He was writing the script and listening to a lot of Nirvana at the time.

00:59:16.000 And he thought, that's interesting.

00:59:18.000 Bruce Wayne Batman is kind of like Kurt Cobain.

00:59:21.000 Because he's massively famous but he doesn't really want to be and he wants to be this other person and he's battling with two sides of himself, Kurt Cobain was, and so is Batman and Bruce Wayne.

00:59:32.000 And so he brought that into the movie.

00:59:34.000 They use the Nirvana song that I've completely forgotten right now.

00:59:39.000 But they did so well and brought that into the character of Batman.

00:59:44.000 I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Robert Pattinson is the best Batman.

00:59:48.000 And that's saying a lot.

00:59:50.000 Really?

00:59:50.000 Because for me it was Michael Keaton.

00:59:52.000 What?

00:59:52.000 But that was the one when I was a kid.

00:59:54.000 That was the first one that I saw, you know?

00:59:55.000 Christian Bale by a mile, son.

00:59:57.000 Come on, that voice.

00:59:58.000 Hey, I'm Batman.

01:00:00.000 I'm Batman.

01:00:03.000 I liked him.

01:00:03.000 What's the best part about it?

01:00:04.000 Nah.

01:00:04.000 I like the fake voice.

01:00:05.000 Nah.

01:00:06.000 I'm Batman. 0.66

01:00:07.000 I didn't know why it was silly.

01:00:08.000 Because if he talked like normal, he'd be like, hey Christian, what are you doing man? 1.00

01:00:11.000 What's with the fucking getup? 0.99

01:00:15.000 It seems like you have to have a fake voice if you're going to be Batman. 1.00

01:00:18.000 Yes.

01:00:19.000 Is he Australian?

01:00:20.000 No, he's British.

01:00:21.000 I'd know if he was Australian.

01:00:22.000 He's definitely British.

01:00:23.000 Oh, you'd know all the Australian guys?

01:00:25.000 All the big guys?

01:00:25.000 There's only three.

01:00:27.000 Is Gerard Butler, is he Australian?

01:00:28.000 No, he's Scottish, I think.

01:00:30.000 Oh, right, right, right.

01:00:31.000 But, no, there's Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth, and that's it. 0.96

01:00:35.000 The crazy guy.

01:00:36.000 No, the other guy. 0.96

01:00:37.000 Jim Jeffries.

01:00:38.000 No, isn't that...

01:00:42.000 Who else? 0.99

01:00:43.000 Isn't the fucking guy from Gladiator? 1.00

01:00:45.000 Oh, Russell Crowe. 1.00

01:00:47.000 Isn't he?

01:00:47.000 He was born in New Zealand.

01:00:49.000 Grew up in Australia.

01:00:50.000 Spent most of his life in America.

01:00:53.000 I like Russell Crowe, but a lot of Australians will go, nah, he's a Kiwi. 0.97

01:00:57.000 He's a New Zealander.

01:00:58.000 A lot of New Zealanders will claim him, and then a lot of them will say, nah, he's Australian if he's throwing phones at people and stuff.

01:01:04.000 You change your attitude.

01:01:06.000 But I like him a lot.

01:01:07.000 I think he's great.

01:01:08.000 And I consider him Australian, sure.

01:01:10.000 He's an interesting guy, right? 1.00

01:01:12.000 Because he just said, fuck it, I'm getting fat. 1.00

01:01:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:14.000 And he didn't even do it for a role. 1.00

01:01:16.000 He just goes, huh?

01:01:17.000 He just got fat.

01:01:17.000 I think he was always a fat guy who probably had to work out and keep very trim to be gladiator and stuff.

01:01:23.000 And then he's just one day gone, fuck this. 0.99

01:01:25.000 I don't know about that because there's no evidence that he was a fat guy. 1.00

01:01:28.000 No.

01:01:30.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:01:31.000 He suits a fat guy. 1.00

01:01:32.000 No, no, no. 0.99

01:01:33.000 No, no, no.

01:01:35.000 Jamie, he's been fat for a decade plus.

01:01:39.000 If he's working his way up to being enormous.

01:01:43.000 He looks okay there.

01:01:44.000 No, he looks great there.

01:01:45.000 What is that for?

01:01:46.000 What's that for?

01:01:46.000 Noah.

01:01:47.000 Oh, is that a new movie?

01:01:49.000 Glad he had it back.

01:01:51.000 Maybe it already came out.

01:01:53.000 Why do I feel like Noah already came out?

01:01:56.000 Maybe Google that.

01:01:57.000 Yeah, Google that.

01:01:58.000 I think I've seen no.

01:01:59.000 Because if that's the case, he got really slim for that. 0.99

01:02:03.000 Yeah, it's a fucking movie that's already out, bro. 0.99

01:02:05.000 Maybe. 1.00

01:02:06.000 I think it's out.

01:02:08.000 2014. Oh, really?

01:02:10.000 Wow.

01:02:11.000 So he got real thin in 2014. He's like, fuck it. 1.00

01:02:13.000 He just did that, and then he goes, hey, I'm going back. 1.00

01:02:16.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:02:17.000 I think Noah was panned. 0.99

01:02:20.000 I think critics are like, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:02:23.000 He seems like a guy, and this is just a guess, that the whole fame thing and the stardom thing was just too many RPMs, and he just fucking blew a gasket. 0.97

01:02:34.000 I think he was probably a potential guest before that as well.

01:02:39.000 I think he's just a high-octane sort of, you know, powerful dude.

01:02:45.000 He's intense. 1.00

01:02:45.000 He's intense as fuck. 1.00

01:02:46.000 I mean, for you to be that guy... 1.00

01:02:47.000 ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! Yeah.

01:02:50.000 For you to be that guy?

01:02:51.000 Like, I believed him.

01:02:52.000 Look at him right there.

01:02:53.000 Is that a soccer game?

01:02:55.000 Uh...

01:02:55.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:02:57.000 Where's he at? 0.99

01:02:57.000 He's like, what the fuck did you do with the ball?! 0.99

01:03:01.000 Bring the ball back.

01:03:02.000 He's at the Rabbitohs.

01:03:03.000 It's rugby.

01:03:04.000 He owns a rugby team.

01:03:05.000 Oh, does he?

01:03:06.000 Yeah.

01:03:06.000 Oh, that's dope.

01:03:07.000 It's a rugby league team.

01:03:08.000 That's a good baller move on a rugby team.

01:03:10.000 Yeah, and it's a cool team too.

01:03:13.000 I don't want to say this because it's not the right term and people will probably yell at me, but it's like a hipster team.

01:03:17.000 They're a cool team.

01:03:18.000 The Rabbitohs.

01:03:19.000 A hipster team.

01:03:21.000 That's not good.

01:03:21.000 No.

01:03:22.000 Hipster's not good.

01:03:23.000 You shouldn't say hipster.

01:03:24.000 Oh, really?

01:03:24.000 I thought hipster wasn't that bad.

01:03:25.000 Is it?

01:03:26.000 No, hipsters are posers. 0.95

01:03:27.000 I thought hipsters were like kind of cool down to earth people.

01:03:29.000 Am I wrong?

01:03:30.000 Am I wrong?

01:03:31.000 In the 70s.

01:03:32.000 Oh.

01:03:33.000 They were hippies.

01:03:34.000 No, there were hip people too.

01:03:35.000 There was hippies and then there was people that were hip.

01:03:38.000 Like Lenny Bruce was hip.

01:03:39.000 You're right.

01:03:40.000 He was hip, man.

01:03:41.000 Well, I like Lenny Bruce.

01:03:42.000 I do too.

01:03:42.000 I love it.

01:03:43.000 Have you been watching Marvelous Miss Maisel?

01:03:45.000 I watched season one.

01:03:46.000 Season two lost me.

01:03:48.000 Well, the last season came out and it's really good.

01:03:50.000 There's more Lenny Bruce in it.

01:03:51.000 That's why I like it.

01:03:51.000 Yeah, I heard that.

01:03:52.000 He does a very good job, whoever that actor is.

01:03:54.000 Oh, the guy's great.

01:03:55.000 He's great.

01:03:56.000 Yeah, there was a certain amount of it.

01:03:58.000 It was like, the odds of her being that good that quick.

01:04:03.000 That's what blows it for me. 0.98

01:04:05.000 I could see her getting drunk and going up there and saying hilarious shit in a bar one night, which she did one time. 1.00

01:04:10.000 Once, yeah. 0.99

01:04:11.000 Yeah, but consistently crushing the way she did.

01:04:14.000 Yeah.

01:04:17.000 Also, it's not a true representation of a struggling comedian because she's got money and a family and cooking dinner and then going out to a show in her nice dress and stuff.

01:04:28.000 Right.

01:04:29.000 That's not how. 1.00

01:04:29.000 And where are your kids, bitch? 1.00

01:04:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:31.000 The kids just go for three days and no one says anything.

01:04:35.000 I've been on the road.

01:04:36.000 Oh, hello, kids.

01:04:37.000 The lady's great, though. 1.00

01:04:38.000 What's her name?

01:04:39.000 The woman who plays Maisel?

01:04:41.000 I buy her as a comedian.

01:04:47.000 I think she's got great delivery. 0.99

01:04:49.000 Isn't that funny as a comedian when you see actors try and play comedians and they're just doing it wrong and you're like, oh, that's not at all it.

01:04:56.000 Like, get out of here.

01:04:57.000 Like, punchline? 0.99

01:04:58.000 Like, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:04:59.000 Punchline was no good. 0.98

01:05:00.000 Who did it good? 0.98

01:05:02.000 Was the didn't Robert De Niro do one and I don't know if it was good I'm just asking cuz I think he did one in a talk show host But he did a crazy person.

01:05:11.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:05:12.000 He did an older guy.

01:05:13.000 Yeah, it was a comedian Yeah, I thought it was called the comedian or something wasn't it?

01:05:17.000 Well, he did one where he played a crazy talk show host or a guy who's like a wannabe Like he had like a cable access show or something like that the king of comedy.

01:05:27.000 Yeah.

01:05:27.000 Oh, there you go That's the crazy one and that one he was a real nut And then there was another one that he did, I think later, where he played a comedian.

01:05:39.000 I think that was like older in his life.

01:05:42.000 He played a comedian.

01:05:43.000 The comedian, yeah, that's it right down there.

01:05:45.000 See that?

01:05:46.000 Lower right hand side with the girl, yeah.

01:05:48.000 So that's the comedian.

01:05:49.000 Yeah.

01:05:49.000 I did not see that.

01:05:50.000 No, neither did I. But I just assume Robert De Niro does good work.

01:05:53.000 Yeah, he would be able to figure it out.

01:05:55.000 So that was 2016. Interesting.

01:05:57.000 What was the Punchline one?

01:05:58.000 Was that Sally Field?

01:05:59.000 That was in the 80s.

01:06:00.000 Tom Hanks?

01:06:01.000 Yeah, Sally Field and Tom Hanks.

01:06:02.000 Because I remember watching that when I was an open-miker.

01:06:04.000 That was in 88, I believe.

01:06:06.000 I think it actually before I ever did stand-up, because I remember Barry Sobel was in that too.

01:06:12.000 And Barry Sobel, who's an actual real comedian, like I saw him in the movie and I'm like, well, that guy looks like a comic.

01:06:18.000 And then you see Sally Fields killing and you're like, why is she killing with that material?

01:06:23.000 That is not that good.

01:06:24.000 They're kind of like a news presenter trying to be a comedian, like they're doing an acting version of it.

01:06:30.000 It's interesting to watch.

01:06:31.000 Well, also, you're going to have to get a comic to write the material, right?

01:06:35.000 Yeah.

01:06:36.000 And comics are not going to give you their real material. 0.99

01:06:38.000 They're not going to give you great shit. 0.99

01:06:40.000 Because that's theirs. 1.00

01:06:41.000 They need that.

01:06:42.000 For a movie, though, if you're getting paid good money.

01:06:44.000 How much are you getting paid?

01:06:45.000 If they're giving you millions.

01:06:47.000 But they're not giving you millions.

01:06:48.000 No, they're not.

01:06:49.000 They're giving you a writer's salary.

01:06:50.000 Yeah.

01:06:50.000 And a writer's salary, if you're sitting there writing for her and you're like, well, this one's too good.

01:06:54.000 I'm going to fucking put that one aside. 0.75

01:06:55.000 But there's a lot of good comedic writers that aren't stand-ups. 0.96

01:06:58.000 So they're not going to go use the material for themselves.

01:07:01.000 Yes, but are they writing monologues?

01:07:03.000 I guess there probably is.

01:07:06.000 I would say the old Daily Show.

01:07:09.000 Here's a good example.

01:07:10.000 Jon Stewart's a great comic.

01:07:11.000 And Jon Stewart had great monologues on the Daily Show.

01:07:15.000 Yeah.

01:07:15.000 When he was the host of The Daily Show, it was really funny.

01:07:18.000 But Jon Stewart is a great comic himself.

01:07:21.000 So if he had writers, they were probably helping him with premises.

01:07:25.000 And then he's just molding the material himself.

01:07:28.000 He knows, right?

01:07:30.000 You know. 0.99

01:07:31.000 Like if someone brought you some shit and you looked at it like, guys, I can't fucking say this. 0.99

01:07:35.000 But even if it's not in my voice, I'd have to put it in my voice. 1.00

01:07:38.000 Otherwise, it would sound ridiculous.

01:07:40.000 I couldn't go and do your material, which everyone knows would work in your voice.

01:07:45.000 But if I went and tried to do it, the cadence isn't right.

01:07:48.000 My voice is different.

01:07:49.000 My opinions and the way that I... Even my experience and everything are different.

01:07:52.000 So it's going to sound contrived like I'm... 1.00

01:07:55.000 It's someone else's shit. 0.99

01:07:56.000 But if you're like a Jon Stewart, they know your voice. 1.00

01:07:59.000 That's it.

01:08:00.000 So I bet they can help write to that voice.

01:08:02.000 Yeah.

01:08:02.000 And also, like, he hosted that show for so long that I'm sure he has, like, a bunch of people that knew him before they even were on the show.

01:08:12.000 They knew the show, so when they were writing for him.

01:08:14.000 Like, if you had to write for, like, certain comedians, you could kind of, like, Donnell Rawlings, you could write for his voice.

01:08:20.000 You know his voice, son.

01:08:21.000 I'd like to write for Bill Burr.

01:08:23.000 Just a couple of Bill Burr jokes.

01:08:24.000 That would be great.

01:08:25.000 I thought it would be funny to have a comedy club where you go up and do, like I would do jokes in Bill Burr's voice or something like that, just for fun, because it would be so great.

01:08:33.000 I could be an angry old man.

01:08:34.000 Oh, he's going to come after you now.

01:08:37.000 An angry, beautiful lady. 1.00

01:08:45.000 He's my favorite, Phil Bitter.

01:08:47.000 He's the best.

01:08:47.000 I think he's my number one.

01:08:49.000 He's great.

01:08:50.000 He's always got a great take. 0.99

01:08:52.000 He's one of the rare guys that are out there that are still swinging at fucking home run fastballs. 0.99

01:08:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:59.000 He's cracking it out of the park.

01:09:01.000 He's not softballing it.

01:09:03.000 Remember when he did Saturday Night Live?

01:09:05.000 It was just incredible.

01:09:07.000 People were so mad.

01:09:07.000 Good.

01:09:08.000 All the dorks. 0.99

01:09:09.000 They were so mad. 1.00

01:09:10.000 And they are fucking dorks. 1.00

01:09:12.000 If you're mad at that monologue, you're a fucking dork. 1.00

01:09:14.000 I couldn't believe what he said. 1.00

01:09:16.000 He said everything that he should have.

01:09:18.000 Saturday Night Live used to be so wild, and now it's so woke.

01:09:21.000 It's so weird.

01:09:23.000 So I don't have anything to compare to it.

01:09:25.000 I don't even know the heyday.

01:09:26.000 In the heyday, with Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi, it was wild. 1.00

01:09:32.000 John Belushi and who was the woman that he would call Jane, you ignorant slut? 1.00

01:09:38.000 Say that to her. 1.00

01:09:40.000 It was a line on Saturday.

01:09:41.000 You could never get away with that to her.

01:09:43.000 Redna Alga. 0.91

01:09:44.000 I'm saying the name wrong.

01:09:45.000 Gilda Radner?

01:09:45.000 No, it wasn't her though.

01:09:47.000 It wasn't Jane Curtin.

01:09:47.000 That's right.

01:09:48.000 Jane Curtin.

01:09:48.000 Yeah.

01:09:49.000 Jane, you ignorant slut. 1.00

01:09:51.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:09:52.000 It was like when Belushi would come on.

01:09:55.000 I watched Ghostbusters the other day with Dan Aykroyd.

01:09:57.000 He's so great.

01:09:58.000 Oh, he's the best.

01:09:59.000 He was amazing.

01:10:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:00.000 The fucking original Blues Brothers is an amazing film. 0.99

01:10:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:05.000 Yeah.

01:10:06.000 I was watching two dorks take apart the Blues Brothers and claim it wasn't funny.

01:10:11.000 And they were, you know, they were mocking this scene where it was a YouTube video.

01:10:16.000 Don't pull it up, whatever you do.

01:10:18.000 They were mocking the scene where they destroy these cars and they were making fun of it.

01:10:22.000 It's like, first of all, you're talking about a movie from the 1970s.

01:10:26.000 You must look at old films in the context of the time in which they were created.

01:10:32.000 Yeah, completely.

01:10:33.000 You have to.

01:10:34.000 There was a different world. 0.99

01:10:35.000 I mean, fucking, I don't know who was president back then. 0.99

01:10:37.000 Was it Nixon or Carter? 1.00

01:10:38.000 Whoever the fuck it was. 1.00

01:10:39.000 Gerald Ford? 1.00

01:10:40.000 It was like, the world was a different place.

01:10:42.000 There was no internet.

01:10:43.000 Everything was different.

01:10:45.000 The amount of information that people had was radically reduced.

01:10:49.000 And the culture was shifting in this very strange way.

01:10:53.000 I mean, it had gone from the 50s to the 60s, this radical evolution of culture.

01:10:59.000 And then the 70s were this strange time where things were still in like a state of flux and the 80s was nuts.

01:11:06.000 I mean, the 70s was like crazy.

01:11:07.000 Disco was happening and like it was a different world yeah different world like to look at that through the context of today and to say it sucks like Look you could say that about Lenny Bruce who we both think is amazing Lenny Bruce is the reason why you and I can do comedy today He's the first guy to step through the door and he prior No,

01:11:27.000 Pryor came afterwards, and Pryor took what Lenny Bruce was doing and made it even better.

01:11:32.000 What Pryor...

01:11:33.000 I'm not saying, like, the premises.

01:11:35.000 I'm not saying, like, the style of honest comedy.

01:11:38.000 Right.

01:11:38.000 Before that, it was just, like, Lounge X going, hey, my wife did this.

01:11:41.000 That was the 50s.

01:11:43.000 In the 50s, that was a lot of guys in the Catskills.

01:11:46.000 They would do the Poconos, and they would do these places where they would, like, resorts, and they would do, like...

01:11:52.000 That was like the scene in Mrs. Maisel when she does that and her father sees her and her father's upset.

01:11:57.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.89

01:11:57.000 She's making fun of him and making fun of sex. 0.89

01:11:59.000 Yeah.

01:12:00.000 That was what, like, comedy back then was a bunch of jokes.

01:12:05.000 And they would tell joke jokes.

01:12:07.000 And they would all steal from each other, too.

01:12:09.000 Yeah.

01:12:09.000 All those guys had, like, they would all, like, borrow each other.

01:12:11.000 Do each other's acts and stuff.

01:12:12.000 Yeah, I mean, it's like, there was jokes that kind of, like, guys had, like, tools.

01:12:16.000 Like, you know, a crescent wrench wasn't just the Monty Franklin crescent wrench.

01:12:20.000 Right.

01:12:20.000 Like, Jamie could use a crescent wrench, too.

01:12:22.000 And that's how they kind of did it.

01:12:23.000 Just a bunch of carless menses. 0.98

01:12:25.000 And then not quite, you know, because he kind of lied about it.

01:12:27.000 But then when Lenny came along, Lenny offered this sensibility that was different.

01:12:36.000 And I think Lenny, you know, he did a lot of drugs, and he was a wilder guy, and it was a different time.

01:12:43.000 And he was like, dig, man.

01:12:45.000 Like, you know, everything was like a different time, man.

01:12:47.000 In the 1960s.

01:12:49.000 His style of comedy.

01:12:50.000 But if you listen to it today, it's hard to contextualize it.

01:12:57.000 And it doesn't hold up?

01:12:58.000 Not really.

01:12:59.000 He's got some lines that hold up.

01:13:01.000 One line was really good.

01:13:02.000 He's like, homosexuality is illegal.

01:13:07.000 So what do they do? 1.00

01:13:08.000 They take you and they lock you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you. 0.99

01:13:13.000 Great line. 0.99

01:13:15.000 Back then, that would have been a monster line, too.

01:13:17.000 People would have just lost their minds.

01:13:19.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:13:19.000 Back in the 1960s, that shit was groundbreaking. 1.00

01:13:22.000 Did he get massive success and money and everything, or did he not get those accolades until later? 0.99

01:13:30.000 He had quite a lot of success.

01:13:31.000 That was one of the things in Maisel that I saw recently.

01:13:34.000 There was a scene where he was upset that she was happy that she got arrested.

01:13:39.000 And he's like, do you understand that I don't want to get arrested?

01:13:42.000 I want to entertain people.

01:13:43.000 No, this is also...

01:13:44.000 They're putting words into Lenny's mouth that I don't know if he ever really said.

01:13:49.000 Right, right, right.

01:13:49.000 You know, that's a real problem.

01:13:51.000 Whenever they do those biopics of Lincoln, I'm like, bitch, you were not there when Lincoln was talking. 0.96

01:13:57.000 If you want to do the Gettysburg Address, that's one thing. 0.96

01:13:59.000 But if you want to do some other stuff where you're making up Lincoln talking to his kids or talking to his mom, you don't know if he said that.

01:14:06.000 This is fake.

01:14:07.000 You're making things up.

01:14:08.000 Like the Bruce Lee thing from...

01:14:10.000 Quentin Tarantino's movie?

01:14:12.000 Quentin Tarantino's thing.

01:14:13.000 That was even worse.

01:14:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:15.000 Because that was like Bruce Lee being an asshole. 1.00

01:14:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:19.000 He was a bit of a dick in that. 1.00

01:14:21.000 Yeah, he was. 0.99

01:14:22.000 And I love Quentin.

01:14:23.000 He's my favorite director of all time.

01:14:25.000 When I had him on, I was talking to him about that.

01:14:27.000 And he was very adamant that there's evidence that Bruce Lee was arrogant.

01:14:33.000 I'm like, confident?

01:14:35.000 Yes.

01:14:35.000 But arrogant like that?

01:14:37.000 Yeah, it was a bit dickish.

01:14:38.000 You know, sorry, but Quentin Tarantino, one of his favorite directors was my uncle, and Quentin wrote the obituary for my uncle to read out at his funeral.

01:14:48.000 No, who's your uncle?

01:14:49.000 My uncle's Richard Franklin.

01:14:51.000 His big movies were The Blue Lagoon.

01:14:54.000 Remember that?

01:14:54.000 Oh, yeah, with Brooke Shields?

01:14:55.000 Brooke Shields, yeah.

01:14:56.000 And that other dude.

01:14:57.000 Who was the other dude?

01:14:58.000 I don't know.

01:14:58.000 Oh, that's right.

01:14:59.000 They were kids.

01:14:59.000 Yeah, it was kind of weird.

01:15:01.000 Now that you think about it.

01:15:02.000 It was kind of weird.

01:15:03.000 That's another movie, The Context of the Oh, man. 0.99

01:15:05.000 Like, if you try to do a movie today about kids fucking on an island. 0.95

01:15:08.000 I think they were cousins, yeah. 0.99

01:15:08.000 People would be like, what? 0.99

01:15:09.000 I think they were cousins, like 13-year-old cousins.

01:15:12.000 Were they cousins? 0.67

01:15:13.000 That had sex and had a kid on the island. 0.91

01:15:14.000 My line says, seven-year-old cousins. 0.98

01:15:16.000 Seven?

01:15:17.000 Seven?

01:15:18.000 Survive a shipwreck and find themselves marine on a beautiful island in the Pacific Ocean.

01:15:22.000 What?

01:15:23.000 There were seven?

01:15:24.000 That's what the, I'm telling, it's just, hey.

01:15:27.000 Was that movie illegal?

01:15:28.000 Can you even watch it? 0.98

01:15:28.000 I don't think they started fucking until they were a bit older. 0.98

01:15:31.000 Whoa. 0.99

01:15:31.000 Seven-year-old cousins, Emmeline Elva Josephson and Richard Glenn Cohan, survive a shipwreck and find themselves marooned on a beautiful island somewhere in their Pacific Ocean. 0.99

01:15:43.000 Wait a minute.

01:15:44.000 I know.

01:15:45.000 I'm just saying.

01:15:47.000 July 1980. Wow.

01:15:49.000 But that should not be Brooke Shields right there.

01:15:51.000 Not that...

01:15:53.000 Yeah, Emmeline Elva Josephson.

01:15:54.000 What does that mean?

01:15:55.000 I think that's maybe her full name, like her character's name.

01:15:58.000 Oh, right.

01:15:59.000 Oh, the little, okay.

01:16:00.000 Yeah, that's the seven-year-old.

01:16:01.000 It was Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins.

01:16:03.000 I haven't seen the movie.

01:16:04.000 But why does it say, and Richard Glenn Cohan?

01:16:06.000 What does that mean?

01:16:08.000 Those are the two seven-year-olds, and then later in the movie, they become 15. Oh, so they live together.

01:16:16.000 They're cousins.

01:16:17.000 That's a creepy movie.

01:16:19.000 It's a creepy movie.

01:16:20.000 It got an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes.

01:16:24.000 Oh my god!

01:16:25.000 We got an 8%.

01:16:27.000 8%?

01:16:29.000 I don't know if you can trust Rotten Tomatoes.

01:16:30.000 They gave Chappelle's special a 4%.

01:16:33.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:16:34.000 Critics did.

01:16:36.000 Critics did. 1.00

01:16:37.000 These woke dipshits. 0.99

01:16:38.000 4.4%? 0.99

01:16:39.000 No, 4.4 out of 5 stars from the audience.

01:16:42.000 Yeah, the audience gave it a great review.

01:16:44.000 That's the thing though, man. 0.99

01:16:46.000 Other than that bullshit. 0.98

01:16:46.000 They're trapped because it's the difference between your actual opinion and the opinion that you want to project because you want to be a part of a clan. 0.98

01:16:53.000 You want to be a part of an ideology.

01:16:55.000 You want to be a part of a woke group of super progressive people who don't stand for intolerance.

01:17:01.000 And you didn't even listen to it then.

01:17:03.000 You didn't even listen to it.

01:17:04.000 Because the guy is taking a giant chance exploring a very dangerous topic with love and consideration.

01:17:11.000 He's talking about a friend of his that committed suicide who defended him, who he literally had open for him on stage.

01:17:18.000 That's a giant chunk of the material.

01:17:19.000 I watched Dave work that out.

01:17:21.000 And anybody that says that is transphobic, you are trying to make it transphobic.

01:17:26.000 It's not.

01:17:27.000 It's not at all.

01:17:29.000 It's like you can't...

01:17:31.000 But that's the world we're living in, man. 0.99

01:17:33.000 We're living in the world where there's so many fucking opinions. 0.99

01:17:36.000 There's so many opinions, and then there's these ideologies. 0.99

01:17:40.000 And people lock into these ideologies, and they don't allow any deviation.

01:17:45.000 They're as rigid as a religion.

01:17:48.000 Being woke is as rigid as a religion, as is being ultra-conservative.

01:17:52.000 That is as rigid as a religion.

01:17:54.000 There are things that they will not let you deviate from.

01:17:58.000 They will not...

01:17:59.000 Be compassionate or considerate of possibilities that might exist outside of this doctrine that they've subscribed to. 1.00

01:18:07.000 They are fucking rigid, man. 1.00

01:18:08.000 They might as well be Mormons. 1.00

01:18:10.000 They might as well be whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

01:18:13.000 Pick a cult. 1.00

01:18:15.000 Well, it's kind of exciting because they fucking hate on everything. 0.99

01:18:18.000 It makes everything else exciting. 0.98

01:18:20.000 They get all fired up about things.

01:18:22.000 They get angry.

01:18:24.000 Yeah, it's like the problem is it shapes culture.

01:18:26.000 And the problem is they get...

01:18:28.000 It's not just that these are ideologies.

01:18:31.000 They're ideologies that are attached to tech companies.

01:18:34.000 And they get involved in the censorship with social media platforms.

01:18:39.000 So like the Babylon Bee just got their account suspended on Twitter because they said that Rachel Levine is the man of the year.

01:18:48.000 Rachel Levine is the guy, well, was a guy, excuse me, became a woman, and then became the first female, like, multi-star admiral in the, let's see, I don't want to fuck this up.

01:19:03.000 In the army?

01:19:04.000 No.

01:19:05.000 Here it is, right there.

01:19:06.000 Twitter suspends Babylon Bee for naming Rachel Levine Man of the Year.

01:19:11.000 So Rachel Levine's transgender and, okay, transgender Biden administration official.

01:19:19.000 The Babylon Bee story was a reaction to USA Today's naming of Levine, who is the U.S. Assistant Secretary for Health and for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services as one of its Women of the Year last week.

01:19:33.000 So they call him the man of the year.

01:19:34.000 Twitter says that it will restore the account, which is more than 1.3 million followers, if the bee deletes the tweet.

01:19:41.000 But the CEO, Seth Dillon, said he has no intention of doing so.

01:19:45.000 He says, we are not deleting anything.

01:19:47.000 He tweeted from his personal account, truth is not hate speech.

01:19:51.000 If the cost of telling the truth is the loss of our Twitter account, then so be it.

01:19:57.000 Well, I can understand if he said that that is not a woman, that is a biological man.

01:20:02.000 That's the truth.

01:20:03.000 But when you say that he's the man of the year, that's not truth.

01:20:08.000 That's a joke.

01:20:10.000 So it's not truth.

01:20:11.000 It's a joke, right?

01:20:13.000 Yeah.

01:20:14.000 But I don't think that joke is hate speech either.

01:20:16.000 I think it's a joke.

01:20:16.000 I think if we're going to be really inclusive, meaning you're going to accept people across the board for whoever they are, whatever they do, No matter what, which I think we should.

01:20:28.000 You should be able to joke about things, too.

01:20:30.000 And if you can't joke that someone used to be a man, if you're not even allowed to talk about it anymore, now it's forbidden.

01:20:36.000 And get in trouble for even questioning it.

01:20:38.000 That seems kind of crazy.

01:20:39.000 It seems kind of crazy when someone really looks like a man and you can't even say that anymore.

01:20:45.000 Like, you're not allowed to bring it up.

01:20:46.000 Like, okay, this swimmer.

01:20:48.000 This swimmer from Penn State that's dominating and crushing records and just won.

01:20:51.000 The NCAA. Just won.

01:20:53.000 Yeah.

01:20:54.000 Number one.

01:20:54.000 Was number 400-something as a male.

01:20:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:20:58.000 Was swimming as a male a fucking year ago. 0.99

01:21:01.000 Becomes a woman. 1.00

01:21:02.000 Mm-hmm.

01:21:03.000 And now is number one.

01:21:04.000 If you can't joke about that, you can't say, well...

01:21:07.000 Did she go the full chop? 1.00

01:21:09.000 No.

01:21:10.000 Well, here's the other thing.

01:21:12.000 I'm sorry.

01:21:12.000 There's an issue there, right?

01:21:14.000 I'm sorry.

01:21:15.000 But what is going on?

01:21:17.000 First of all, you've gone through your entire puberty.

01:21:21.000 You've gone through years and years of your body producing testosterone, which strengthens your tendons, your ligaments, your joints, your muscles, and all that.

01:21:29.000 Lung capacity, heart size.

01:21:31.000 There's a lot of variables that are in favor of someone who goes through puberty and then transitions to a woman when it comes to athletic events.

01:21:39.000 There's a lot.

01:21:39.000 And again, that Derek More Plates More Dates guy, he has a great discussion of that where he goes in-depth.

01:21:45.000 And Derek is brilliant.

01:21:46.000 And he really understands this from a scientific perspective and breaks it down scientifically, the benefits of going through puberty.

01:21:54.000 So all these women that had to compete against Leah They all stood together on a podium.

01:22:02.000 The second, third, and fourth girls all stood together, like, in unity.

01:22:07.000 And then Leah was over there. 0.78

01:22:09.000 So she's in the number one position, and they all stood together in the number three position.

01:22:14.000 And then the audience cheered for them and stuff.

01:22:17.000 So they should. 1.00

01:22:18.000 It's fucked. 1.00

01:22:19.000 It's fucking ridiculous. 1.00

01:22:20.000 Because, look, I'm not saying you can't... 1.00

01:22:22.000 Identify as a woman, be called a woman, be treated as a woman. 0.86

01:22:26.000 I'm all for that.

01:22:27.000 But when it comes to sports, when you're talking about physical performance, there's a reason why we have male categories and female categories.

01:22:37.000 And when it's demonstrated that someone who is very recently a male has a significant advantage over the opponents to the point where they're breaking records, maybe that's not fair.

01:22:49.000 It's completely not fair.

01:22:51.000 Maybe you should be able to talk about that.

01:22:54.000 Maybe you should.

01:22:55.000 Maybe we should bring it up, address it, when she's leading them by a hopeful lap.

01:22:59.000 Here's another point.

01:23:00.000 Maybe that's causing more harm to the transgender cause than it is good. 1.00

01:23:07.000 Because you're forcing this into society in a way that's going to make people resentful.

01:23:13.000 Yeah, completely.

01:23:13.000 And then there's some people that should be treated with dignity and respect, that transition.

01:23:18.000 They're now going to be considered in the same way that this person is considered, where they think of her as a cheater.

01:23:24.000 They think of her as like cheating against these other biological females. 1.00

01:23:28.000 Yeah.

01:23:28.000 And until there's enough trans women where you can have a trans league, which, you know, would be interesting.

01:23:34.000 Yeah.

01:23:35.000 Like, that would be like a category.

01:23:37.000 I don't think there's enough now to warrant that, but that's part of the problem.

01:23:42.000 Has there been one case of it going the other way?

01:23:45.000 No, not successfully.

01:23:47.000 Right.

01:23:47.000 There's no problem in certain sports like archery.

01:23:51.000 Right.

01:23:52.000 There's no physical advantage.

01:23:53.000 No physical advantage.

01:23:55.000 No, no physical advantage.

01:23:56.000 You know, what's interesting, man, even in pool, you know, I play pool.

01:24:01.000 I'm a pool enthusiast.

01:24:02.000 Do you want to talk about the time I beat you?

01:24:03.000 Is that it?

01:24:04.000 You did beat me once.

01:24:05.000 But even when you play pool, women don't do as well as men. 1.00

01:24:12.000 Like women don't win major competitions. 1.00

01:24:14.000 This is what's strange.

01:24:16.000 Like in pool, they have women's competitions, which are women's only competitions.

01:24:20.000 Then they have open competitions where women can compete against men.

01:24:24.000 They do not have male only competitions.

01:24:27.000 But women, when they compete against men, they'll win a match or two. 1.00

01:24:31.000 But there's not one woman player who has ever risen to the level of world champion in an open tournament.

01:24:37.000 Okay.

01:24:38.000 I'm just going to go out on a limb.

01:24:40.000 Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that there's not as many women to compete against and stuff like that? 0.98

01:24:46.000 And I find this in comedy that the women have to give up a lot. 1.00

01:24:52.000 I'm talking about having kids and stuff in order to still have a progressive career and stuff.

01:24:56.000 So maybe in that same pool context, there was a lot that were good, but they're like, I want to have kids.

01:25:00.000 I want to have a family.

01:25:01.000 I'm going to choose that instead.

01:25:02.000 And so there's not as many that can break through and be elite.

01:25:06.000 Very possible.

01:25:07.000 Very possible.

01:25:08.000 But like in PGA and a lot of other things, there's quite a few of them that never have children.

01:25:16.000 Yeah. 0.90

01:25:16.000 And maybe some of them are even lesbians, right? 0.90

01:25:18.000 And so they are not much different than a male who has a wife.

01:25:23.000 And if they don't have children, they don't adopt children, they don't have additional responsibilities that might take them away from the game.

01:25:29.000 Yeah.

01:25:29.000 I think there's an issue with testosterone, and I think the way they describe it is, first of all, there's women that are way better than me, that's for sure.

01:25:40.000 There's...

01:25:42.000 There's women that are capable of beating men on any given day. 1.00

01:25:46.000 There's women pool players that win all the time when they compete against men. 1.00

01:25:52.000 They just never win the whole thing.

01:25:53.000 I mean, there's only one woman that I know of that was so elite that she was capable of beating almost any man on any given day. 1.00

01:26:01.000 And that's this woman named Jean Baloukas.

01:26:04.000 And that was in, I want to say that was in the late 70s, early 80s.

01:26:09.000 And she's known as, like, in the pool world, people think of Jean Belucca as the same way they think of, like, say, Muhammad Ali or something like that.

01:26:18.000 In terms of, like, a female version of, like, a truly exceptional player.

01:26:24.000 Like, someone who just stands out.

01:26:26.000 Like, she was so good.

01:26:27.000 Is she considered the GOAT? She's probably like, no, there's a woman named Alison Fisher, who's like elite as well, who plays for England. 0.97

01:26:36.000 She's from England, rather, who's elite, who's capable of beating. 1.00

01:26:41.000 And then there's another one, Jasmine Ocean.

01:26:46.000 She's very elite too, and she beats men on a regular basis. 1.00

01:26:49.000 But they just don't win the whole thing.

01:26:52.000 Like, they never win the US Open.

01:26:53.000 They don't win the World Championships.

01:26:55.000 They compete in a lot of these tournaments.

01:26:57.000 But that's what the thing is.

01:26:58.000 They have a women's tour, at least they used to, where they had women's only tournaments.

01:27:02.000 And they were very good tournaments.

01:27:03.000 And they play very well.

01:27:05.000 But they never won against men.

01:27:09.000 And it could be a thing, like you were saying with comedy, that they decide to have families, they have other responsibilities.

01:27:16.000 It's not the be-all, end-all to them.

01:27:18.000 It could be that.

01:27:19.000 But I think in comedy, there's that issue with women. 1.00

01:27:23.000 But there's another issue.

01:27:24.000 The other issue is men have a prejudice against women doing comedy.

01:27:28.000 Like, a lot of men don't necessarily want women to be funny and don't necessarily think of women as funny.

01:27:34.000 Are they comedians or audience, do you think, in general?

01:27:36.000 Audience.

01:27:36.000 I think audience.

01:27:37.000 Really?

01:27:37.000 I think these general men, like, oh, chicks aren't funny.

01:27:40.000 I think that is a prejudice that no man says guys aren't funny.

01:27:45.000 Yeah, okay.

01:27:46.000 But men do say chicks aren't funny. 1.00

01:27:48.000 Yeah, but they're usually dicks and aren't funny themselves. 0.99

01:27:50.000 They have no idea. 0.98

01:27:51.000 A lot of those are the people that pay for our tickets.

01:27:53.000 Come on.

01:27:54.000 Go and watch some of the girls that we know. 0.99

01:27:56.000 Go watch Sarah Silverman and tell me she's not funny. 0.95

01:27:57.000 Go watch Tara.

01:27:57.000 Go watch Ali Wong.

01:27:58.000 Go watch Schumann's Unbelievable.

01:28:00.000 Like, come on. 1.00

01:28:00.000 There's a lot of people that are very funny that happen to have vaginas. 1.00

01:28:04.000 But maybe they identify as men. 0.99

01:28:06.000 Yeah, you could just point it out.

01:28:07.000 They could do that now.

01:28:08.000 There's a few of those.

01:28:09.000 That's a new thing.

01:28:10.000 When we were a kid, there was no trans women that were in comedy, but there are now. 1.00

01:28:14.000 I think, but for women, there's like certain subjects that some men don't want to hear them talk about.

01:28:19.000 Like a man can be a political comic and talk about politics and talk about the way people should behave and not do it.

01:28:25.000 And a lot of men don't want to hear a woman talk like that. 0.99

01:28:28.000 They don't want to hear a woman like... 1.00

01:28:29.000 And then a lot of men don't like it when women talk about sex too much.

01:28:32.000 And that's another thing that a lot of women like to talk about on stage. 1.00

01:28:36.000 And some men are like, I don't want to hear about that.

01:28:38.000 Why?

01:28:38.000 From a woman.

01:28:40.000 It's like being a pussy. 1.00

01:28:41.000 If something's funny, it's funny. 1.00

01:28:42.000 I'm not saying it's good.

01:28:43.000 You're insecure in your own life.

01:28:44.000 I'm not defending it.

01:28:45.000 I'm not defending it.

01:28:46.000 The opposite, in fact.

01:28:47.000 I'm mocking it.

01:28:48.000 But I think it's a thing that does exist as a prejudice that men have, some men have, that they don't have towards men.

01:28:56.000 No man will blanketly say men aren't funny.

01:28:58.000 If they do, they're posers. 1.00

01:29:00.000 They're just trying to fuck some girls, and they probably have a little dick, and they're just like a male feminist. 1.00

01:29:05.000 I think men are terrible. 1.00

01:29:06.000 I prefer women comedians. 1.00

01:29:08.000 Hannah Gadsby is my favorite.

01:29:10.000 She comedians? 0.68

01:29:11.000 Allegedly.

01:29:12.000 Those guys exist.

01:29:14.000 Those guys do exist.

01:29:16.000 Those fiercely feminists they put in their Twitter bio. 1.00

01:29:20.000 Those fucking guys, they're out there. 1.00

01:29:23.000 But you know what those guys are. 1.00

01:29:24.000 What do you think they think about the transgender athletes if they're fiercely feminists? 1.00

01:29:28.000 Because they should be on the side of the four people that were standing there in arms, right?

01:29:31.000 Yes, they should be. 1.00

01:29:32.000 And if they're not, they're full of shit. 1.00

01:29:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:34.000 See, that's the only area where I have a problem with this whole movement. 1.00

01:29:39.000 It's not the acceptance. 0.99

01:29:40.000 It's the reason why we don't have males compete against women is that there's a fucking, there's a benefit to testosterone. 1.00

01:29:50.000 It doesn't mean Serena Williams can't fucking kick my ass in a tennis game any day of the week. 1.00

01:29:55.000 She'd kick my ass in a lot of things. 1.00

01:29:56.000 She'd probably beat me up. 1.00

01:29:57.000 Probably.

01:29:58.000 But we're talking about against male players, she would lose. 1.00

01:30:04.000 Yeah.

01:30:05.000 That's just the reality against some.

01:30:08.000 She'd beat quite a few, I'm sure.

01:30:10.000 But it's like pool.

01:30:11.000 But it's not like pool because there's a physical power aspect to tennis.

01:30:14.000 There's a big thing.

01:30:15.000 It happens in surfing.

01:30:16.000 So if you look at the 13-year-old surfers on the planet right now, and because of wave pools, surfing has advanced massively.

01:30:23.000 Oh.

01:30:24.000 And these kids are unbelievable.

01:30:27.000 And you should see these young girls, right?

01:30:30.000 Josh Kerr is a professional surfer.

01:30:32.000 I think it's his daughter.

01:30:32.000 I don't want to get it wrong, but it might be.

01:30:34.000 And she rips. 1.00

01:30:35.000 She's unbelievable.

01:30:36.000 She does 360 airs as well as any of the guys.

01:30:41.000 But as soon as those guys hit puberty, they're going to have way more power and be able to just boost way higher than her.

01:30:46.000 And it's just a different thing.

01:30:50.000 But the wave pools have changed the game of surfing a lot. 1.00

01:30:55.000 And in 10 years, you're going to see women do crazy shit. 1.00

01:30:58.000 It's going to be unreal. 1.00

01:30:59.000 That's wild.

01:31:00.000 I didn't think that.

01:31:01.000 I knew the wave pools were probably a good way to learn, but I never considered them back.

01:31:05.000 Well, it's just repetitive.

01:31:05.000 Think about it.

01:31:06.000 If you go out surfing, you might get 10 waves, okay?

01:31:09.000 10 waves in a day.

01:31:10.000 You can get 110 waves in a wave pool in a day.

01:31:13.000 That's just more and more, and you know how sport works.

01:31:16.000 Repetitive, repetitive, keep it.

01:31:17.000 100%.

01:31:18.000 I just work that turn, work that turn, and before you know it, you're launching up and...

01:31:22.000 When I did Taekwondo, when I was obsessed, I lived in the gym.

01:31:25.000 I essentially lived there.

01:31:27.000 I was there all day long.

01:31:28.000 I trained all day long. 0.89

01:31:29.000 Because I was 15, and I didn't have any other interests, and I really didn't give a fuck about school, so I didn't do any homework. 0.90

01:31:36.000 I barely got through high school.

01:31:37.000 That seemed to work out for you.

01:31:39.000 I got lucky.

01:31:40.000 But during that time, I accelerated so rapidly because I was training all day long.

01:31:46.000 All I did was eat and sleep and train.

01:31:48.000 I had no life.

01:31:49.000 From the time I was 15 until I was 21, my social life was severely stunted.

01:31:56.000 I had girlfriends, but even the girlfriends had to deal with this crazy world that I lived in.

01:32:00.000 And so the amount of time...

01:32:03.000 I'm in the middle of rereading Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers book.

01:32:08.000 And that's one of the things that he discusses in that book, is the amount of time that someone spends on something.

01:32:15.000 And they talk about Bill Gates and his access to the computers at the University of Seattle in Washington, or the University of Washington, Seattle, whichever one it is, where he had access to the computer lab, and he was coding at a very young age.

01:32:27.000 So by the time he got to college, he was super advanced.

01:32:33.000 Yeah, right.

01:32:34.000 Compared to a normal person because he spent so many hours.

01:32:36.000 He would sneak out of his house in the middle of the night and go code.

01:32:40.000 Or revel.

01:32:41.000 Yeah, he was a wild man.

01:32:42.000 But that's with a lot of things.

01:32:42.000 I mean, Formula One drivers, you have to start when you're a kid doing go-karts.

01:32:46.000 And you have to have money in your family to go in the go-karting circuit.

01:32:49.000 So that's going to take out a lot of people that could potentially be awesome race car drivers because they just don't have the time, the money.

01:32:56.000 It's the same with MotoGP.

01:32:59.000 It's the same thing.

01:33:00.000 Casey Stoner was a massively successful racer for Australia, but his family, actually another family, came in and bankrolled him to be this success from a young age.

01:33:12.000 If you don't have that, you're just not going to have the time and the tools and the repetitiveness to...

01:33:18.000 Be elite in that pursuit, you know?

01:33:20.000 Yeah, that's all about this book, Outlier.

01:33:23.000 Have you ever read it?

01:33:24.000 I have, and I can't remember any of it now that you're bringing it up.

01:33:27.000 It's really good.

01:33:28.000 I've read it before, but I read it years ago, and I'm getting back into it again now.

01:33:32.000 I read it before Malcolm had come on the podcast back in the day, but I'm really getting into it again for a second time because I've been really thinking about this a lot lately.

01:33:40.000 I've been thinking about what makes people great at things and what is it about obsession and time spent.

01:33:46.000 And one of the things that I'm really getting into is the Beatles because they talked about their days in Hamburg where they would play eight hours a day.

01:33:55.000 And they would play other people's music.

01:33:57.000 They'd play their music.

01:33:58.000 They'd play so much music. 0.99

01:34:00.000 And the people that knew them from Liverpool said that they come back from the Hamburg experience like a fucking completely different band. 0.98

01:34:08.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:34:08.000 They've just done 10 years of road work in a year in Hamburg. 0.94

01:34:12.000 It's the same with comedy.

01:34:14.000 You go to New York and you're doing three sets a night and suddenly you're a beast.

01:34:17.000 You can't do that in Dayton, Ohio.

01:34:19.000 That, but honestly, I think New York is great.

01:34:22.000 I think there's an aspect, but I think the real thing is the road.

01:34:26.000 Because I think the road, when you're doing things...

01:34:28.000 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, maybe even Wednesday as well.

01:34:32.000 Those sets, you're doing an hour every night.

01:34:34.000 You're not doing 15-minute sets.

01:34:35.000 And in those hour sets, you get to explore so many more topics.

01:34:40.000 And then you're just hammering those hour sets two on Friday, sometimes Three on Saturday?

01:34:46.000 Yeah. 0.78

01:34:46.000 The three on Saturdays are weird, because you don't know what the fuck you've already talked about by the time it's like the midnight show, and it's 1.15 in the morning. 0.78

01:34:53.000 But that's when the best stuff comes out, because your head's going, if I said, say something else, and just go down another rickety road. 0.98

01:34:58.000 Right, you never fucking know, man.

01:34:59.000 Isn't that the best feeling, though, when you've done maybe a month of just solid shows, and you are in shape, and you're just like a weapon, and then you maybe go back to the comedy store, and you're so fit. 0.94

01:35:10.000 Crush.

01:35:10.000 I did a tour with Charlie Murphy and John Heffron once.

01:35:14.000 We did this Bud Light Real Men of Comedy tour.

01:35:18.000 And dude, we did 22 shows in a month and we traveled everywhere.

01:35:21.000 It was one of those things where I'd wake up and I'd look at the ceiling of the hotel room and I'm like, where am I? I just did that last week, so I had no idea where I was.

01:35:28.000 You don't know where you are, right?

01:35:28.000 It takes like five minutes to stare at the scene.

01:35:30.000 I'd play this game. 0.99

01:35:31.000 I'd wake up and go, where the fuck am I? Ohio? 0.99

01:35:34.000 Where the fuck am I? I don't know where I am. 0.99

01:35:36.000 And so we did that, and by the end of that 22 shows, man, because it was like night after night doing an hour, I was on fire.

01:35:45.000 Did all three of you do an hour?

01:35:46.000 No.

01:35:47.000 Me and Charlie did and Hefron would...

01:35:49.000 I forget how much time he did.

01:35:50.000 And they usually had an opening guy who would do a certain amount of time.

01:35:55.000 I think Hefron...

01:35:56.000 Actually, I think Charlie and I did 45 minutes each.

01:35:58.000 And I think there was an opening guy that would be a local guy.

01:36:01.000 And that's how I met Segura.

01:36:03.000 Oh, really?

01:36:04.000 I met Segura in Phoenix.

01:36:05.000 We were at the...

01:36:06.000 I think it's the celebrity theater.

01:36:09.000 I think that's what it's called.

01:36:10.000 The Hollywood...

01:36:10.000 I forget.

01:36:11.000 It's a theater in the round.

01:36:12.000 A fairly small theater.

01:36:14.000 Like a 2,000 seat theater in Phoenix.

01:36:16.000 Okay.

01:36:17.000 And a lot of these guys that would open up, they'd be funny, they'd be good, but they really didn't make me laugh hard. 0.67

01:36:22.000 And, you know, Seguro had me fucking how... 0.84

01:36:25.000 How long ago was that? 0.98

01:36:26.000 2007. And I remember I saw him, I go, dude.

01:36:29.000 I go, how long have you been doing comedy?

01:36:30.000 And he'd only been doing it like a few years, and I took him on the road with me.

01:36:34.000 I'm like, you know, come on, man, let's go. 0.99

01:36:36.000 No shit. 0.95

01:36:37.000 That's the best as a comedian when someone like you goes, hey, come on the road, and you just start doing big venues and having fun. 0.99

01:36:43.000 Well, he was so good, too.

01:36:44.000 He was so funny, and he was such a good guy.

01:36:46.000 We had so much fun right away.

01:36:48.000 That's my favorite thing.

01:36:49.000 I know you like to go on the road, and there's alone time.

01:36:52.000 I like to go on the road with my buddies.

01:36:54.000 Oh no, don't get me wrong.

01:36:55.000 That's way better.

01:36:56.000 Way better.

01:36:58.000 That's my favorite part of comedy besides actually being on stage and getting that energy that we love.

01:37:04.000 Remember when you, me and Santino did the United Center in Chicago?

01:37:08.000 20,000 people, whatever it was.

01:37:10.000 And is it the same stadium that the Bulls played in or have they changed the stadium or something?

01:37:14.000 I'm not sure.

01:37:15.000 Either way, we were in the Bulls locker room.

01:37:19.000 And everyone would think that, Joe, you have a massive entourage in anything, and no.

01:37:24.000 It was the three of us, as soon as that door closes, and whoever's hanging on and annoying us goes, and it's the three of us just farting around and being funny, and we're about to go perform for 20,000 people, and Santino's like going, are you nervous and poking me?

01:37:40.000 And then you're going, yeah, have a shot of whiskey.

01:37:42.000 And I'm like, yeah, maybe afterwards.

01:37:44.000 Yeah, that was fun.

01:37:45.000 That was so fun.

01:37:46.000 That was the biggest thing you'd ever done by far, right?

01:37:49.000 Completely.

01:37:51.000 Crowd-wise, yeah.

01:37:52.000 I'd done a few festivals, like a sort of Coachella-style thing, and brought bands out to a crowd, but not...

01:37:58.000 I mean, I did 20 minutes in front of...

01:38:02.000 20,000 or whatever it was.

01:38:03.000 But it was great!

01:38:04.000 It was terrifying when I looked behind me and saw a 50-foot version of myself on a screen.

01:38:08.000 And I'm like, oh god!

01:38:10.000 Let's have a drink today, my friend.

01:38:11.000 Oh yeah.

01:38:11.000 Hold on, I've got to tell you about these.

01:38:13.000 This is an Australian beer?

01:38:14.000 Yeah.

01:38:15.000 My buddy sent these over from Australia.

01:38:16.000 Victoria Bitter.

01:38:17.000 Victoria Bitter. 1.00

01:38:18.000 So a lot of Australians will be thinking right now, why the fuck did you bring in that beer? 0.99

01:38:22.000 Cheers, buddy. 0.99

01:38:23.000 What is this equivalent to American-wise?

01:38:25.000 Budweiser.

01:38:29.000 It's not bad.

01:38:30.000 It's like mild.

01:38:31.000 It is.

01:38:32.000 It's a mild beer.

01:38:33.000 Well, most beer in Australia is fairly, let's call it, it's not like an IPA. It's not filled with tannins and berries and crap. 0.83

01:38:42.000 It's just straight beer. 0.87

01:38:43.000 It's Budweiser and stuff like that.

01:38:44.000 We've got some world-class beer out of Tasmania because the water's incredible down there, so the beer's incredible.

01:38:49.000 The water?

01:38:50.000 Yeah, the water in Tasmania is the best on the planet.

01:38:53.000 It's untouched.

01:38:54.000 It's beautiful.

01:38:54.000 What's the difference in the water?

01:38:55.000 What does it taste like?

01:38:56.000 Oh, I don't know, but they make good beer.

01:38:58.000 It's just very pure water.

01:39:00.000 It's from the most pure, untouched, unpolluted place on the planet. 0.99

01:39:04.000 Like glaciers that are melting, that kind of shit? 0.99

01:39:07.000 You don't have glaciers there though, do you? 0.98

01:39:09.000 No, we don't have glaciers there, so I don't really know where the water's from.

01:39:12.000 New Zealand, right?

01:39:12.000 New Zealand's filled with fantastic snow and all that sort of stuff.

01:39:16.000 Everyone from Australia goes over there to do the snow stuff, because we don't really have much of a snow season in Australia.

01:39:24.000 So, Tasmania.

01:39:27.000 Is that where the Tasmanian tiger is?

01:39:29.000 Yeah.

01:39:29.000 Well, it was.

01:39:30.000 Tasmanian tiger is extinct.

01:39:31.000 They think they're still around.

01:39:32.000 I think they're trying to bring it back.

01:39:34.000 I think they think they're still around.

01:39:36.000 I was watching a documentary on it.

01:39:37.000 They think that it's very...

01:39:39.000 There's so many sightings of an animal that resembles that.

01:39:43.000 Really?

01:39:43.000 They think they're still...

01:39:44.000 Yeah.

01:39:44.000 I forget the actual name of the thing.

01:39:47.000 Filocene.

01:39:48.000 Thank you.

01:39:49.000 But it's a weird looking striped dog.

01:39:52.000 Yeah.

01:39:52.000 Like a dingo, but it's a striped version.

01:39:55.000 It's a tiger dingo, let's call it that. 0.91

01:39:56.000 Yeah, they had one in captivity.

01:39:58.000 There's video of it from, I believe it was like the 30s.

01:40:01.000 Yeah, there's footage of them and stuff.

01:40:03.000 Yeah, it was like blank and white.

01:40:04.000 Yeah.

01:40:04.000 Yeah, that's what it looked like.

01:40:05.000 A wild looking thing.

01:40:07.000 But there's so many sightings of that that they've actually sent biologists on these long excursions.

01:40:16.000 And who was it that was on the show?

01:40:19.000 Was it Forrest Galante?

01:40:22.000 Forrest Galante?

01:40:23.000 I think it was him.

01:40:24.000 And he was saying that they're reasonably certain Yes, it is forest.

01:40:30.000 And he was saying they're reasonably certain that that animal is still alive.

01:40:34.000 Good, I hope it is.

01:40:35.000 There's enough...

01:40:36.000 Is there any images of it?

01:40:39.000 I've seen footage of it.

01:40:41.000 I think they think that they have images of it on a trail cam.

01:40:47.000 Thylacine.

01:40:47.000 What a cool name.

01:40:48.000 I think they...

01:40:50.000 I might be making that up.

01:40:52.000 But I know for sure...

01:40:53.000 Well, there's the Tasmanian Devil.

01:40:54.000 It's funny that when I bring something up and then I find out it was on my podcast.

01:40:59.000 I've heard people talk about this.

01:41:01.000 Somebody was telling me about this guy who was really interesting.

01:41:03.000 I go, really?

01:41:04.000 What's his name?

01:41:05.000 They gave me his name, I Google it, and he was on my show.

01:41:07.000 I'm like, oh, I forgot about him.

01:41:09.000 Forget your own life.

01:41:10.000 Well, I've had so many conversations with people that it's like my brain is a hard drive that has no space.

01:41:19.000 It's just stuffed and it's overflowing over the top.

01:41:25.000 But that's good.

01:41:25.000 It is, but it's like I'm losing memories because there's so many that are getting jammed in there every week.

01:41:32.000 I don't have the space for it.

01:41:33.000 You know, there's like a thing.

01:41:35.000 There's like a law of like memory where you can only keep a certain amount of people in your head.

01:41:43.000 Yeah, that must be very hard for you.

01:41:45.000 You know way too many people.

01:41:47.000 What is that called again?

01:41:49.000 Dunbar's number.

01:41:50.000 Dunbar's number.

01:41:50.000 So Dunbar's number is 150 people.

01:41:53.000 And Dunbar's number, yeah, because the idea is that our brains evolved in tribal environments.

01:41:59.000 In that human beings for thousands and thousands of years lived in these small groups of people, these small bands of people, and we had to know intimately the people that were around us.

01:42:07.000 And it was mostly like, you know, 50 people, 100 people.

01:42:11.000 And you can only keep like a certain amount.

01:42:13.000 Whatever the number is, if it gets to like 150, 250 people, you lose it.

01:42:17.000 Like, I have 500 plus fighters in my head.

01:42:22.000 Yeah.

01:42:22.000 Just fighters that I have to juggle around because I commentate on their fights and I have to know their styles and watch their performances and evaluate their skill sets.

01:42:33.000 Yeah, but you're very interested in something.

01:42:35.000 I'd imagine that your capacity to maintain that level of names and stuff might be more if you're really interested in it.

01:42:42.000 It's probably more than the average person just because of the sheer force of will of memorizing all these things and forcing these things.

01:42:51.000 Here's a little more detail on something I haven't heard when we talked about that.

01:42:54.000 According to the theory, the Titus Circle has just five people.

01:42:58.000 Loved ones.

01:42:59.000 That's followed by successive layers of 15. Good friends, 50 friends, 150 meaningful contacts, 500 acquaintances, and 1,500 people you can recognize.

01:43:12.000 Ah, interesting.

01:43:13.000 People migrate in and out of these layers.

01:43:16.000 That makes sense to me.

01:43:17.000 But the idea is that space has to be carved out for any new entrance.

01:43:23.000 Dunbar isn't sure why these layers of numbers are all multiples of five, but says this number five does seem to be fundamental to monkeys and apes in general.

01:43:33.000 Of course, all of these numbers really represent range.

01:43:36.000 Extroverts tend to have a larger network and spread themselves more thinly across their friends, while introverts concentrate on smaller pool of thick contacts.

01:43:46.000 And women generally have slightly more contacts within the closest layers. 1.00

01:43:51.000 Now, here's what's interesting.

01:43:52.000 I'm not really an extrovert.

01:43:53.000 I mean, I kind of do it for a living.

01:43:55.000 Yeah.

01:43:56.000 But, like, I am very happy being quiet.

01:43:59.000 I would say I am, too.

01:44:01.000 I'd say a lot of comedians are.

01:44:02.000 Don't you think they just quietly observe rather than being the center of attention, which is odd?

01:44:07.000 There's a few of, like, there's, like, Jim Carrey-type dudes.

01:44:09.000 Oh, yeah.

01:44:10.000 Right?

01:44:10.000 Who are, like, absolute extroverts.

01:44:12.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:44:12.000 Who just, like, demand the center of attention and control the room.

01:44:14.000 But does he?

01:44:15.000 When he's at home, does he just kind of go, ugh, God, people.

01:44:18.000 It's a good question.

01:44:19.000 I don't know.

01:44:20.000 You know, and then there's people, like...

01:44:21.000 You know, there's people that can be, you know, they're hybrids.

01:44:26.000 Like Joey Diaz is a hybrid. 0.99

01:44:27.000 Joey Diaz likes people to leave him the fuck alone. 1.00

01:44:29.000 Leave me the fuck alone! 1.00

01:44:30.000 But when Joey Diaz is in a room, everybody's listening. 1.00

01:44:34.000 You know, he takes over the room.

01:44:36.000 Your attention gets drawn to someone like that in a room.

01:44:40.000 You're like that.

01:44:42.000 Everyone's attention gets drawn to you.

01:44:45.000 I don't know if that's being extrovert, but it's just you've got that energy and that flow in the room that everyone's like, I wonder what he has to say about that type thing.

01:44:55.000 Maybe, but I'm not like the clown.

01:44:59.000 Not the clown, the jester.

01:45:02.000 But you don't have to prove yourself like that.

01:45:04.000 There's a lot of people that think they do.

01:45:06.000 I've got to be funny so everyone thinks I'm funny.

01:45:07.000 You don't have anything to prove.

01:45:09.000 You could silently sit in a room and be totally content. 1.00

01:45:12.000 But there's a lot of people that think, oh, I better say something funny right now or people will think I'm stupid. 0.98

01:45:16.000 That's the worst when you try to hang with open micers in the green room. 0.93

01:45:20.000 And they think everything has to be crafted into material.

01:45:23.000 You just want to hang out. 1.00

01:45:24.000 Like Tony Woods barked at some fucking kid. 1.00

01:45:26.000 Barked. 1.00

01:45:27.000 Yeah, he did.

01:45:29.000 Because he was annoying Tony.

01:45:31.000 You know, and Tony is that guy who is the funniest guy in the room, you know? 0.99

01:45:35.000 And then this open-miker kept trying to step on Tony, and Tony's like, motherfucker, do you see me ranting? 0.99

01:45:41.000 And we were all laughing at Tony, and then when he did that, we fell on the floor, because this kid... 0.98

01:45:46.000 He was a good kid.

01:45:47.000 He was a good guy.

01:45:48.000 But he was, you know, 23, just starting comedy, open miker.

01:45:52.000 He's hanging with us.

01:45:53.000 He's hanging with Tony Woods and Tony Hinchcliffe and me and a couple other guys in the room.

01:45:58.000 Well, he should sit back and observe and learn.

01:45:59.000 That's what he should do.

01:45:59.000 Well, he was one of us.

01:46:00.000 It was okay.

01:46:02.000 Like, I want them to feel like they're one of us because I want more comedians.

01:46:06.000 I want more guys and girls and non-binary figures.

01:46:11.000 I want them to have an insight to that world where we are just like you.

01:46:18.000 We're just further down this road that we're all on.

01:46:21.000 And I always felt like that at the store.

01:46:23.000 I was always super friendly to the doorman and the people who work the cashier booth.

01:46:28.000 Because they're all comics.

01:46:29.000 Bartenders are comics. 0.94

01:46:31.000 And I was like, we're all the same.

01:46:34.000 Some of us are just 10 years past you or 15 years, whatever it is.

01:46:38.000 But it's like we're all the same thing.

01:46:40.000 We're all comics.

01:46:40.000 Once you're accepted into that brotherhood, you're part of it.

01:46:44.000 You're funny.

01:46:44.000 The problem is when you get friendly with someone and you find out they're terrible.

01:46:48.000 And you have to pretend they...

01:46:49.000 Yeah, yeah, that was good.

01:46:52.000 I've been friends with them before, like at the store.

01:46:55.000 Sometimes I knew someone for a year before I saw their act.

01:46:59.000 And I liked them.

01:47:00.000 They're fun to talk to.

01:47:01.000 Like, hey, how you doing?

01:47:02.000 What's up?

01:47:02.000 What have you been doing?

01:47:03.000 And then I go, I'm going to see your act.

01:47:05.000 And then you watch their acting like, oh, Christ.

01:47:08.000 And where do you think they failed?

01:47:09.000 To impress you in normal conversation, you probably thought, oh, this person's funny and interesting.

01:47:13.000 Where did they fail on stage then?

01:47:14.000 Not necessarily thought they were funny in normal conversation, but just liked them.

01:47:19.000 There's a lot of people that I like to talk to that aren't funny at all.

01:47:22.000 Most of my friends are hilarious to talk to.

01:47:24.000 They couldn't get on stage and do stand-up.

01:47:26.000 Well, there's hilarious people that couldn't do stand-up.

01:47:29.000 Well, they probably could, but they would have to really be obsessed with it and think about it.

01:47:34.000 I was talking to Tony about that the other day.

01:47:36.000 Imagine starting over from scratch.

01:47:39.000 We had no idea how to do stand-up.

01:47:41.000 If you had to start over again, how long it takes.

01:47:44.000 Oh, if you actually didn't know in your head how to do it either.

01:47:46.000 Right.

01:47:46.000 Yeah, that's nuts.

01:47:47.000 I started from scratch when I came to America, so I know what it feels like to know those skills in my head, but...

01:47:54.000 You know, not be accepted into the comedy store and places yet.

01:47:59.000 And it was weird.

01:48:00.000 It was hard.

01:48:00.000 But you had already done stand-up in Australia.

01:48:02.000 Absolutely.

01:48:03.000 That's different.

01:48:03.000 What I'm saying is, imagine if you had no knowledge of comedy, you had to start all over again right now.

01:48:08.000 Oh, God.

01:48:09.000 Oh, God.

01:48:10.000 No, the stuff I've had to learn over the last, I don't know, 17 years and everything.

01:48:14.000 The amount of time that it takes to get good.

01:48:17.000 The amount of time that it takes where you can go on stage and kill and entertain a crowd for an hour.

01:48:23.000 The amount of different audiences you have to perform in front of to know that this is slightly different.

01:48:27.000 This is this.

01:48:28.000 I did Laughlin, Nevada on Friday.

01:48:31.000 They were the rowdiest crowd I've had in 10 years.

01:48:34.000 They probably can't believe you visited them.

01:48:35.000 Yeah, they're like, what the hell's going on? 0.95

01:48:36.000 They're just a bunch of drunken hillbillies. 0.94

01:48:39.000 Where is Laughlin, Nevada?

01:48:41.000 It's like the most southern point of Nevada, about an hour and a half out of Vegas.

01:48:45.000 It was weird.

01:48:46.000 I don't know what we were doing there, but it was a big thousand-seat theater, and they were so rowdy.

01:48:51.000 But because I cut my teeth in Australia in a rowdy environment, I was like, oh, this is great.

01:48:57.000 And I had one of the best sets of my life.

01:49:00.000 It was so much fun.

01:49:01.000 I cut my teeth in bars when I lived in Boston.

01:49:05.000 Oh, in Boston.

01:49:05.000 Boston's probably very similar to Australia.

01:49:06.000 I think they're very similar places.

01:49:08.000 I've been to Boston, and I get along with Bostonians, is that what you're saying?

01:49:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:49:13.000 Very easily, because I don't know what it is.

01:49:16.000 Maybe, is there a criminal convict sort of heritage in Boston?

01:49:19.000 Oh, my God.

01:49:20.000 Is it? 0.82

01:49:20.000 So many criminals. 0.82

01:49:21.000 Well, that's it.

01:49:22.000 Yeah.

01:49:22.000 Because, you know, obviously Australia's a convict settlement as well.

01:49:25.000 I just show these people immediately. 0.73

01:49:28.000 It's silliness. 0.93

01:49:29.000 It's tomfoolery. 0.90

01:49:30.000 It's a rough sort of environment.

01:49:33.000 Dude, I used to work at a club in Boston that would offer to pay you in Coke or cash.

01:49:38.000 Did you take the Coke and try and sell it?

01:49:40.000 I never took the Coke.

01:49:41.000 I was not an entrepreneur.

01:49:43.000 I'm not an entrepreneur.

01:49:44.000 I wouldn't know how to steal a Coke.

01:49:45.000 I wouldn't have the first clue what to do.

01:49:47.000 I knew a lot of guys who took the Coke, though.

01:49:49.000 Unfortunately, they had a lot.

01:49:50.000 I bet they're not around, right?

01:49:52.000 No, some of them are still alive.

01:49:53.000 But a lot of those guys had problems.

01:49:55.000 Oh, I meant even just doing comedy.

01:49:56.000 Yeah, they're still doing comedy.

01:49:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:49:58.000 But a lot of them had problems because it was so easy to get paid in Coke.

01:50:03.000 It's funny when you go to the back store of the comedy store and there's that mirrored piano thing and you just want to know who was there and what had happened.

01:50:13.000 Kinnison for sure did coke off that table.

01:50:15.000 There's such a history there.

01:50:16.000 I love it.

01:50:17.000 Oh my god.

01:50:18.000 It's one of the greatest places on earth in terms of history.

01:50:20.000 That's one of my proudest achievements that I've got my name on that wall.

01:50:23.000 I think I'm the only Australian.

01:50:25.000 Are you really?

01:50:25.000 I don't think Jim's got his name.

01:50:26.000 He should definitely, but I don't think he does.

01:50:29.000 That doesn't make sense.

01:50:30.000 He's definitely a paid regular.

01:50:32.000 I know that I got it before him.

01:50:34.000 If it's on now, then it makes total sense, but I was the first Australian on there.

01:50:38.000 Congratulations.

01:50:39.000 Thank you.

01:50:40.000 Not bad.

01:50:41.000 You sure there wasn't some weirdo back in the 70s?

01:50:43.000 Probably, but my story sounds better. 1.00

01:50:45.000 Yeah, fuck him. 1.00

01:50:46.000 Fuck him. 1.00

01:50:47.000 There's a lot of people that quit for whatever reason. 1.00

01:50:52.000 You'd run into their name like, oh, I forgot about him. 0.99

01:50:55.000 Where the fuck did he go? 0.98

01:50:56.000 I can't imagine quitting comedy. 0.99

01:50:59.000 It's like, you know, Stanhope said something really interesting once that I totally agree with.

01:51:03.000 He goes, I could quit comedy because I could never quit comedians.

01:51:06.000 Like hanging out with comedians.

01:51:07.000 It's a different ballgame, isn't it?

01:51:10.000 I feel like sometimes when my friends, like I said, I've got very funny friends, but it's like playing tennis with someone who's not quite as good as you.

01:51:17.000 And then once you play tennis against comedians and it's just back, back, back, back, and you're just like, oh, this is fun.

01:51:22.000 Well, it's also just they accept the crazy in you, you know, where some people just, they have HR breathing down their neck and they live in an office environment and they don't get a lot of fun, crazy, loose people. 0.86

01:51:37.000 We have all, everyone we know is crazy. 1.00

01:51:40.000 Like, all of our friends are out of their fucking minds. 0.99

01:51:43.000 It's just so fun that everything is a joke. 0.99

01:51:45.000 Everything can be a joke.

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:47.000 And everything is fun and silly, and let's just turn that into a joke, and that into a joke, that into a joke.

01:51:52.000 Dude, I've been doing this podcast.

01:51:53.000 We call them the Protect Our Parks podcast.

01:51:56.000 With Shane Gillis, Mark Norman, and Ari Shafir.

01:51:59.000 The four of us.

01:52:00.000 And we get blasted.

01:52:02.000 We get hammered.

01:52:03.000 And we get stoned. 0.99

01:52:04.000 And they're the most ridiculous podcasts. 1.00

01:52:07.000 They're so ridiculous. 0.99

01:52:08.000 And I love them so much. 0.99

01:52:10.000 Because I do all these podcasts with scientists and philosophers and fucking scholars and all these interesting, fascinating people. 0.99

01:52:17.000 Get a dickhead like me on so you can just... 1.00

01:52:20.000 Talk shit. 1.00

01:52:20.000 But it's fun! 1.00

01:52:21.000 It is fun.

01:52:22.000 It's fun.

01:52:23.000 Hanging out with comics is some of the most fun.

01:52:25.000 I called Stan up the other day and I hadn't talked to him in a while.

01:52:27.000 And the moment I called him, I have just this giant smile on my face.

01:52:32.000 And we're laughing and I'm driving home listening.

01:52:34.000 We're talking while I'm driving. 0.99

01:52:36.000 Fucking laughing. 0.99

01:52:37.000 I'm like, God. 0.99

01:52:38.000 I've been watching a lot of Mark Norman lately.

01:52:41.000 Norman's hilarious.

01:52:42.000 He just keeps pumping out good material on his Instagram and stuff.

01:52:46.000 And he's a very, very good joke writer.

01:52:49.000 Oh, he's very prolific.

01:52:50.000 Yeah.

01:52:51.000 Very prolific and very obsessed with comedy.

01:52:53.000 He loves comedy.

01:52:54.000 He adores comedy.

01:52:55.000 Yeah.

01:52:55.000 He really does.

01:52:56.000 You can tell that he loves the art form and really goes for it.

01:53:02.000 How about Shane?

01:53:02.000 When we worked with Shane in Irvine recently, oh my God, how funny is he, dude?

01:53:07.000 Dude, we were piercing ourselves backstage. 0.72

01:53:08.000 Oh my God, his Trump impression is insane. 0.90

01:53:12.000 How funny was he said when he got nicked by the... 0.92

01:53:16.000 Don't give him the bit.

01:53:18.000 We were on the full line.

01:53:20.000 We were crying. 0.99

01:53:21.000 I have worked with him a few times at the Vulcan, but the way the Vulcan is set up, the green room is so far away from the stage, and then we have the TV on in the green room so you can watch the set, but it's hard to hear because everyone's talking and shooting the shit. 0.83

01:53:33.000 But back there, we were right next to the stage, so we got to hear all of it. 0.99

01:53:37.000 Fuck, he's good. 1.00

01:53:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:39.000 He's fucking good, man. 0.99

01:53:40.000 Very good demeanor on stage. 0.99

01:53:41.000 Knows himself, his presence, his voice.

01:53:44.000 Very good.

01:53:44.000 Well, there's a bunch of these guys that are on the up and they're on the come up.

01:53:48.000 They're rising through the ranks of comedy that are really good and really dedicated and just love the thing.

01:53:55.000 Yeah.

01:53:56.000 You know?

01:53:56.000 Love the thing.

01:53:57.000 And he's a guy that, you know, went through that shit where he was gonna get on Saturday Night Live, and then they dug up some old podcasts of crazy things that he had said. 0.95

01:54:05.000 Best thing for him. 0.97

01:54:06.000 Best thing for him.

01:54:07.000 In the end, yes.

01:54:09.000 Like, his Gillian Keeves, have you ever watched that?

01:54:12.000 Yeah, how's the one where the dad's on OnlyFans or whatever?

01:54:16.000 He's up there.

01:54:17.000 I'm doing this for you!

01:54:18.000 Gillian Keeves, I'll see this right now, is the best sketch comedy that exists on planet Earth right now.

01:54:24.000 It's better than anything other than Kyle Dunnigan and Kurt Metzger stuff, which is different because it's face swaps. 0.77

01:54:31.000 It's just ridiculous.

01:54:33.000 Did you see the Nancy Pelosi one? 0.98

01:54:34.000 Yes.

01:54:35.000 I just can't stop laughing at it.

01:54:36.000 I was playing it for this lady who actually went to see Nancy Pelosi speak. 0.99

01:54:42.000 She went to this thing, this fucking gathering where Nancy Pelosi was at and they were talking. 0.98

01:54:48.000 All these converts were saying, oh, she's the most entertaining and captivating speaker. 0.99

01:54:53.000 And she listened to her talk. 1.00

01:54:55.000 She's like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:54:57.000 This is nonsense. 1.00

01:54:59.000 Have you seen that one thing that she did? 0.94

01:55:01.000 This recent one that's like this babbling, crazy conversation?

01:55:05.000 Here, I'm going to send this to you, Jamie, because it's...

01:55:07.000 Have you seen it?

01:55:08.000 Before the Riverdance thing?

01:55:10.000 I don't know what it is, but it's a new one.

01:55:13.000 But it's so preposterous.

01:55:15.000 I'm going to find it real quick. 0.99

01:55:17.000 It's so preposterous that I sent it to people and they're like, what the fuck is she even saying? 0.99

01:55:22.000 I don't think I've ever seen the real Nancy Pelosi talk. 0.99

01:55:25.000 I've just seen Kyle Dunnegan's version. 0.99

01:55:28.000 Oh, Kyle is a fucking genius. 1.00

01:55:30.000 He really... 1.00

01:55:31.000 He really...

01:55:32.000 He's so good.

01:55:33.000 I mean, there's guys that shine in a certain way in an art form where you see that's your thing.

01:55:41.000 That's your thing.

01:55:41.000 I don't think that's something I would do.

01:55:43.000 I don't think... 0.87

01:55:44.000 You know, it's just his thing and he's nailing it and it's just so silly and fun. 0.95

01:55:47.000 Yeah, no, he's incredible.

01:55:50.000 Like, he's a very funny comic.

01:55:52.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:55:52.000 He's very good on stage.

01:55:54.000 But there's a thing with him where you see him...

01:55:57.000 This is it.

01:55:58.000 Yeah, hold on a second.

01:55:59.000 Yeah, I'm gonna send this to you, Jamie. 0.97

01:56:03.000 There's a format in which, you know, with that face swap shit, that he shines... 0.89

01:56:10.000 He shines in a way that it's like, I don't think there's anybody better at that Instagram format. 0.96

01:56:15.000 And with the face swaps...

01:56:16.000 Isn't it funny that it's not perfect?

01:56:18.000 Like the face swap is just kind of silly.

01:56:20.000 That's the best thing.

01:56:20.000 It's the best part.

01:56:21.000 It's like South Park. 0.98

01:56:22.000 South Park has the shitty animation. 1.00

01:56:25.000 Play this and give me some volume because it's fucking amazing. 1.00

01:56:28.000 Sending stuff over to the Senate. 0.95

01:56:30.000 Well, most of the product that we've done is...

01:56:35.000 Except now we may have added in the last day or so.

01:56:39.000 And some of what we added is Senate to the bill.

01:56:42.000 Like hearing.

01:56:43.000 Bernie doesn't like hearing.

01:56:45.000 Excuse me.

01:56:46.000 Bernie loves hearing.

01:56:48.000 Manchin doesn't want hearing in the bill and all that stuff.

01:56:52.000 So somebody's Senate oriented and then we had the family medical need.

01:56:55.000 We figured if they're putting things in, then we can put something in.

01:56:58.000 Even if Manchin doesn't like it.

01:57:04.000 So we are getting some...

01:57:05.000 bird and privilege.

01:57:11.000 I think mostly we're getting privilege scrub.

01:57:14.000 Because privilege struggle is deadly to a bill.

01:57:17.000 Birdball is important.

01:57:19.000 You have to take it out.

01:57:21.000 But privilege violation can take you out.

01:57:25.000 Look at the caption.

01:57:26.000 It's like she's buffering.

01:57:27.000 It says, 10 points for whoever can translate what Nancy is saying.

01:57:32.000 Just remember these people are running our country.

01:57:34.000 What did she say?

01:57:36.000 What did that mean?

01:57:36.000 No idea.

01:57:37.000 I heard birds and then Biden can't hear.

01:57:40.000 There's a thing that they think happens when someone hangs around a schizophrenic.

01:57:46.000 I think it's in the literature, like psychology literature, where they think that if you go to visit a schizophrenic, if you're susceptible...

01:57:57.000 If you're around them for long enough, something happens to you where you fail to recognize, like, their patterns are so screwy that it can infect the way you think and behave.

01:58:12.000 And there's been people that went to visit schizophrenic relatives that wound up being locked up themselves.

01:58:17.000 Really?

01:58:18.000 Actually, yeah, that happens quite a lot.

01:58:19.000 Is it?

01:58:20.000 I don't know if it's true.

01:58:21.000 I was about to say I don't know if that's true.

01:58:22.000 No, I've heard of that happening.

01:58:24.000 Sisters and stuff being locked up together because they've spent so much time and their brain patterns start to go nutty together.

01:58:31.000 That makes sense.

01:58:32.000 I've never thought of that.

01:58:32.000 Well, it makes sense in the sense that the people that you hang around with are critical to your well-being.

01:58:38.000 Like, if you hang around with a lot of, like, one of the things I'm very fortunate is that a lot of my friends are very ambitious, and they're very smart, and they're very, like, honest.

01:58:47.000 And they'll tell you about their fuck-ups, and they'll tell you...

01:58:51.000 There's... 0.71

01:58:53.000 You can gain a lot of motivation from those people.

01:58:57.000 You have energy.

01:58:58.000 You recognize their patterns are very admirable and you enjoy being around them.

01:59:06.000 It's inspirational.

01:59:09.000 It helps you.

01:59:10.000 It gives you some sort of a fuel.

01:59:13.000 And I would think if that's the case, then the opposite has to be true, too. 0.97

01:59:16.000 If you hang out with a bunch of bitter losers who are just bitching and pissing and moaning about other people's success and other people saying, you know, what about me? 0.97

01:59:24.000 It's called reality TV. But that shit, I think that wears on people. 1.00

01:59:29.000 And I think that affects people's behavior patterns. 1.00

01:59:31.000 I think if you're around crazy people too much, you can probably absorb some of their thinking and it probably fucks with your patterns because I think we are creatures of community.

01:59:42.000 And if you're in a bad community, if you're in a community of bitter people or of jealous people or angry people, you absorb some of that. 0.55

01:59:51.000 And if you're around crazy people, I bet you absorb that too.

01:59:54.000 I find I start to talk with a certain cadence of the person that I'm with a little bit sometimes.

02:00:00.000 Is it allofenia?

02:00:01.000 Is that what it's called?

02:00:03.000 Shared psychotic disorder.

02:00:07.000 Mmm, so it's real.

02:00:09.000 So a shared psychotic disorder is a rare type of mental illness in which a healthy person starts to take on the delusions of someone who has a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia.

02:00:19.000 For example, let's say your spouse has a psychotic disorder and as a part of that illness believes aliens are spying on them.

02:00:27.000 Maybe they are.

02:00:28.000 They are.

02:00:28.000 Maybe she's right.

02:00:29.000 Yeah.

02:00:30.000 Maybe you're just judgy.

02:00:31.000 Yeah.

02:00:31.000 I should accept the aliens are spying on you.

02:00:34.000 Do you think aliens are spying on Earth?

02:00:38.000 I don't know.

02:00:39.000 Spying?

02:00:39.000 Watching.

02:00:41.000 I think they're there.

02:00:42.000 We watch insects.

02:00:43.000 That's the thing.

02:00:45.000 I think they're looking at us like, put it this way.

02:00:51.000 If we go to Mars with Elon and we find a little bug that exists there, And we can't communicate with the bug.

02:00:58.000 Are we going to try and open up dialogue with it and go, hey, let's, you know, live together in harmony?

02:01:03.000 No, we're going to go, I'll just leave them be.

02:01:05.000 Right.

02:01:05.000 So that's what the aliens are doing.

02:01:06.000 They're like, I'll just leave them be.

02:01:08.000 They're doing their thing.

02:01:09.000 Maybe, but we're a pretty complex bug.

02:01:13.000 According to us.

02:01:14.000 According to anybody.

02:01:16.000 Octopus ancestors found in Montana lived even before dinosaurs. 0.99

02:01:20.000 Holy shit. 0.98

02:01:22.000 4.7-inch fossil has 10 limbs, not 8. How's an octopus, then? 0.99

02:01:27.000 Duh.

02:01:28.000 Octopus.

02:01:29.000 Oh, yeah.

02:01:30.000 Dectopus.

02:01:31.000 Each with two rows of suckers.

02:01:34.000 Scientists who named the species for President Joe Biden, oh, Jesus Christ, say it possibly lived in shallow, tropical ocean bay.

02:01:44.000 Wow.

02:01:46.000 Interesting.

02:01:47.000 But, you know, we are possibly on the verge of destroying the planet right now.

02:01:55.000 Like, we are as close to nuclear war as we've been since the 1960s.

02:01:59.000 What about the Cuban Missile Crisis?

02:02:02.000 1960s.

02:02:02.000 That was the 60s?

02:02:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:02:03.000 All right, dumb. 1.00

02:02:04.000 Why did I think that was the 90s? 0.99

02:02:05.000 No, that was Kennedy.

02:02:07.000 That was Kennedy was during the Cuban Missile Crisis. 1.00

02:02:10.000 Oh, no shit. 0.99

02:02:10.000 Yeah, the Russians had moved missiles into Cuba. 0.99

02:02:14.000 And they used spy planes to get images of that.

02:02:18.000 And then Kennedy, they had a standoff.

02:02:20.000 It was very touch and go for a while.

02:02:23.000 And people were really concerned that we were going to have...

02:02:25.000 I think that was probably even closer then than it was now.

02:02:29.000 Because according to Oliver Stone, when I had him on the podcast, he said there were generals that were advocating for a first strike.

02:02:37.000 And they were talking about acceptable losses and millions of people that we could attack Russia and attack China and that we would blow up a bunch of places and that we would lose a few cities. 0.99

02:02:48.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:02:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:02:50.000 These crazy fucks. 1.00

02:02:52.000 You've got to think, and this is a conversation that I had with Mike Baker the other day, who was a former CIA operative, and I was saying that if someone's willing to kill as many people as Putin has killed in Ukraine, like how many people have died there? 1.00

02:03:04.000 Thousands, right?

02:03:05.000 Thousands of his troops, thousands of Ukrainian troops and civilians.

02:03:09.000 It's like they haven't even figured the real number yet.

02:03:11.000 Let's say it's 10,000 people.

02:03:12.000 If it's 10,000 people, how much different is it if you nuke a city?

02:03:17.000 A hundred thousand, right?

02:03:19.000 A city that has a hundred thousand people and they nuke that, just to prove a point.

02:03:25.000 That's not that much of a difference to ten thousand.

02:03:28.000 Also, if Putin's on the way out or something and he just wants to take a bunch of people Right.

02:03:33.000 You know?

02:03:34.000 Right, if he has a disease. 1.00

02:03:34.000 If he has a disease and everyone's just like, fuck this. 1.00

02:03:37.000 I'm going to take out a bunch of people before I go. 1.00

02:03:41.000 Right, there's always a theme in Game of Thrones type, the Mad King.

02:03:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:03:45.000 There's always some crazy fuck that's on his way out and it'll kill everybody. 1.00

02:03:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:03:50.000 It's weird how that's happening right now and everyone's not terrified.

02:03:56.000 I guess they are a little bit, but it's not like people are just bunkering down and...

02:04:00.000 Really accepting it.

02:04:01.000 No.

02:04:02.000 I guess you can't. 0.98

02:04:03.000 People are scared as fuck, and there's all these different narratives. 0.99

02:04:08.000 There's a narrative that Ukraine is filled with Nazis, and that the government's fucking gaslighting us, and that Ukraine is filled with heroes, and that the Russians are awful, and then there's many people that think, well... 0.99

02:04:21.000 We, you know, we're to blame and NATO's to blame because they're trying to get Ukraine to join NATO and then he'll have nuclear weapons in Ukraine pointing at Russia. 0.98

02:04:30.000 There's like, there's so many narratives going on right now that it's really difficult to sort through what's right and what's wrong, but it's fucking terrifying, that's for sure. 0.97

02:04:39.000 And Putin seems like, he seems like the most ruthless As far as outside of China, we know that China does a lot of ruthless shit, but Putin, in terms of the way he gets rid of his political opponents, 0.99

02:04:54.000 the way he gets rid of journalists that go after him, he just fucking mercs people. 0.99

02:05:01.000 And he's been that way for a long time, right? 0.97

02:05:04.000 Or the whole time, or...

02:05:05.000 He's run the country since 99, and he used to be a KGB guy, which is like, you know, during the fucking Soviets, during the Cold War, during that era, like, who knows what that guy was involved with? 0.58

02:05:18.000 Yeah, right. 0.99

02:05:19.000 Who fucking knows? 0.99

02:05:20.000 Who knows? 0.99

02:05:21.000 That's a dangerous man to have the biggest nuclear arsenal on Earth. 1.00

02:05:26.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:05:27.000 It's fucking terrifying when you really think about it, but I don't know. 1.00

02:05:31.000 It's more terrifying the way Mike Baker was explaining it to me. 0.98

02:05:34.000 Because he was saying we used to think of it in terms of mutually assured destruction, and that was the thing that kept us from attacking Russia and kept them from attacking us because we would blow each other up.

02:05:43.000 But he's saying now with these hypersonic weapons, it's not mutually assured destruction because they could incapacitate the United States instantaneously.

02:05:52.000 Before we have a chance to retaliate.

02:05:53.000 Before we have a chance to retaliate.

02:05:54.000 You don't have 15 minutes anymore.

02:05:55.000 You don't have 20 minutes.

02:05:56.000 You don't have an hour.

02:05:57.000 You don't have that much time.

02:05:58.000 You have seconds. 1.00

02:05:59.000 Shit, I might go back to Florida. 1.00

02:06:00.000 I think they're probably going to not get nuked. 1.00

02:06:03.000 They're pretty safe.

02:06:03.000 They're pretty safe there, right?

02:06:05.000 Think about their vantage point there from Russia.

02:06:07.000 We should saw Florida off and sell it to Russia. 0.70

02:06:10.000 Maybe they'll take it as a peace settlement.

02:06:16.000 Just swim it in like they did with the Statue of Liberty.

02:06:19.000 Here, we've got this.

02:06:20.000 Just make a nice canal above Pensacola.

02:06:23.000 Saw into it.

02:06:25.000 You can have the keys.

02:06:26.000 You can have all the alligators. 1.00

02:06:28.000 All that shit. 1.00

02:06:29.000 You can have it. 1.00

02:06:30.000 We're going to give you a slice.

02:06:32.000 Yeah.

02:06:32.000 You can have all the buildings that the oligarchs bought.

02:06:35.000 There's a lot of those super wealthy oligarchs guys.

02:06:39.000 They own all that crazy real estate in Miami and all.

02:06:41.000 West Palm?

02:06:42.000 Oh, there's a lot of places down there.

02:06:44.000 There's that one island that's filled with giants.

02:06:46.000 Yeah, it's insane.

02:06:47.000 It doesn't make any sense.

02:06:49.000 You go over this bridge, and it's a three million minimum of a house, and the people there are weird.

02:06:56.000 Are they weird?

02:06:57.000 Weird in this way, that they probably, I guess when money isn't an issue, you have a different lifestyle.

02:07:03.000 How so?

02:07:04.000 We went to this restaurant and I just looked around and I've gone, I'm very different than these people in this restaurant.

02:07:10.000 There was young guys there with sweaters around their thing and...

02:07:14.000 Around their neck?

02:07:15.000 Around their neck.

02:07:16.000 Those guys that tie the sweater around their neck?

02:07:17.000 Yeah, a little tied sweater and...

02:07:19.000 That's a weird look.

02:07:21.000 And none, like, look...

02:07:22.000 If I go to a restaurant, I'm still in a position where I look at the price of things on the menu and I go, I can't do that, I can't do that.

02:07:30.000 But that's not in their world.

02:07:32.000 They're just like, I'll have this and that and this.

02:07:34.000 And then there's caviar.

02:07:36.000 Caviar is like so expensive.

02:07:37.000 The only time I've got to do that is if I'm eating with you.

02:07:40.000 But it doesn't taste that good.

02:07:41.000 I mean, it's okay.

02:07:42.000 I've had caviar.

02:07:43.000 It's okay.

02:07:44.000 It's kind of tasty.

02:07:45.000 But it's not $1,000 tasty.

02:07:46.000 Why is it so much money?

02:07:48.000 If you eat caviar, if you compared caviar to lobster, it's pretty economical compared to caviar.

02:07:55.000 Yeah.

02:07:56.000 Like steak.

02:07:57.000 But caviar does not taste better than steak.

02:08:00.000 No.

02:08:00.000 Why is it so much more money?

02:08:01.000 Because it's a status thing.

02:08:03.000 I've got caviar.

02:08:04.000 Yes, right?

02:08:05.000 I've got caviar and you don't.

02:08:06.000 I got a gold-covered steak.

02:08:08.000 You ever see that guy?

02:08:08.000 People eat cult, yeah.

02:08:09.000 That fucking Salt Bay guy, this guy? 1.00

02:08:11.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:08:11.000 He serves steaks that are covered in gold. 1.00

02:08:14.000 Like, you're eating gold.

02:08:15.000 Have you seen that?

02:08:16.000 I've seen similar things.

02:08:18.000 I haven't seen the steak.

02:08:18.000 He sells a steak covered in gold.

02:08:21.000 How much?

02:08:22.000 I don't know.

02:08:23.000 A thousand buck meal?

02:08:24.000 I don't care how much money I have. 1.00

02:08:26.000 I'm not buying a fucking gold covered steak. 1.00

02:08:28.000 Cut to me drunk. 1.00

02:08:29.000 You and I at a restaurant. 1.00

02:08:31.000 Fuck it, money. 1.00

02:08:33.000 Let's get that gold steak. 1.00

02:08:34.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:08:35.000 You get a few fucking bottles of whiskey in me. 1.00

02:08:38.000 I'll buy anything. 1.00

02:08:39.000 You'd probably do it for a laugh if it was on the menu and you were having fun and shit. 0.99

02:08:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:08:43.000 Well, I was with Marc Delgrate once, and we ordered a bottle of wine from 1972. We were at this Italian restaurant, and we were like, fuck it, let's have some great wine. 0.99

02:08:54.000 And they send over Somalia, and I'm like, what do you got that's really good? 0.99

02:08:59.000 And this was the wrong place to ask this at, because it was one of those places that keeps 50-year-old bottles of wine.

02:09:06.000 I was like, what?

02:09:07.000 What?

02:09:07.000 How much is that?

02:09:08.000 And I think it was more than $1,000 for this bottle of wine.

02:09:11.000 So I was like, okay, let's try it.

02:09:13.000 And it wasn't good.

02:09:14.000 It wasn't good.

02:09:16.000 So we polished it off.

02:09:17.000 There was a bunch of UFC staff there.

02:09:20.000 We polished it off.

02:09:21.000 And then we were like, let's get another bottle.

02:09:23.000 Let's get like a regular bottle of wine from like 2018. And it was better.

02:09:28.000 It tested fresher.

02:09:30.000 My mate went to a wine tasting snob event and he took the Trader Joe's two buck chuck thing, but he took the label off and he said, it's just a clean skin from, he said, it's just from Australia.

02:09:41.000 You guys will love it.

02:09:41.000 And they all voted it the best wine at this whole thing.

02:09:44.000 The whole thing of these hundreds of dollars of bottles of wine and they've gone, this is the best. 0.99

02:09:49.000 He said, it's from Trader Joe's, you dickheads! 0.98

02:09:51.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

02:09:52.000 Did they get embarrassed?

02:09:53.000 Yeah, but they're like, oh, well, it actually has a quite nice...

02:09:56.000 And I tried to talk their way out of it. 0.98

02:09:58.000 He's going, shut up. 1.00

02:09:59.000 Shut up. 1.00

02:10:00.000 I went to a wine tasting thing once. 0.99

02:10:02.000 I have a buddy of mine who's a real wine connoisseur.

02:10:06.000 Oh, yes.

02:10:07.000 And he has a wine cellar in his home.

02:10:11.000 You go into a room, and it's temperature controlled, and there's wines on the shelves.

02:10:14.000 You don't have one of them?

02:10:15.000 I would have assumed you did.

02:10:17.000 You got elk in there.

02:10:18.000 Anyway, this guy's house, he had it built.

02:10:22.000 It's a thing.

02:10:23.000 He's a serious wine guy, right?

02:10:26.000 So anyway, his birthday.

02:10:27.000 So he invites me to go to his birthday, and he's got this party with all of his wine friends.

02:10:32.000 He's like, this will be a trip.

02:10:33.000 You'll love it.

02:10:34.000 These are all these parties.

02:10:35.000 They're in this wine-tasting group that loves expensive, and they're all very wealthy people.

02:10:40.000 So I go, okay, look, let's go.

02:10:42.000 And this is a long time ago.

02:10:43.000 I was not nearly as rich.

02:10:45.000 So I go to this place, and there's these guys.

02:10:48.000 They all bring these boxes, like felt-lined boxes with wine in them.

02:10:53.000 You know, so they open up these crates, and they pull out the bottles, and they have offerings, like, you know, Eddie brought this, and Mike brought that, and Sally brought this.

02:11:02.000 And so they have these wines, and they would...

02:11:05.000 It was a very nice restaurant, so they'd bring out these small plates of food, and each plate, these eight plates, would come with a flight of wines.

02:11:13.000 So you'd have a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and then they would tell you what this was.

02:11:18.000 This was a blah, blah, blah from Bordeaux, and then they would...

02:11:23.000 They would all judge it.

02:11:25.000 And they would say, this one has, it's rich with tannins, and you can taste the oak, and they would smell it.

02:11:31.000 So, cut to, many years later, I'm watching this documentary, and this documentary is called Sour Grapes.

02:11:38.000 And this documentary is about this guy who was in that wine group.

02:11:44.000 He was a part of that wine tasting group that my friend was in.

02:11:47.000 I did not know this when I was watching the documentary.

02:11:49.000 I'm watching this documentary and I see my friend.

02:11:52.000 He's in this film.

02:11:53.000 And then I see this other guy who's in this film who's the guy who gets arrested.

02:11:57.000 And what this guy was doing was taking cheap wine.

02:12:00.000 Oh, I saw that.

02:12:01.000 And he was making fake labels.

02:12:04.000 Yes. 0.99

02:12:04.000 And he was like aging the labels and rubbing dirt on them and all kinds of shit. 0.99

02:12:08.000 What a legend. 0.99

02:12:09.000 Well, he went to jail for a long fucking time. 0.99

02:12:11.000 And this guy made millions and millions of dollars and did this with thousands and thousands of bottles of wine. 0.98

02:12:19.000 It's a fascinating, fascinating documentary because one of the things it reveals in the documentary is that these people can't really tell what's great and what's not great.

02:12:29.000 And that this one guy who had this amazing palate, I forget what his name was, but he had this amazing ability to like...

02:12:38.000 Sense like what the essence of these very expensive wines were and recreate it with cheap wines.

02:12:44.000 So we'd add a little bit of these like a chemist. 0.54

02:12:46.000 So he's in his fucking studio city house with like stacks of labels and old bottles he buy old bottles and And he would mix this stuff together to try to make a reasonable facsimile of whatever this exceptionally expensive wine was. 0.82

02:13:00.000 And then he would sell it. 0.98

02:13:01.000 How did he get busted?

02:13:03.000 He got busted because he robbed the Koch brothers.

02:13:06.000 Hold on. 1.00

02:13:07.000 He fucked up. 1.00

02:13:07.000 He went down another route. 1.00

02:13:08.000 He fucked up. 0.99

02:13:09.000 Because one of the Koch brothers is a wine expert. 1.00

02:13:11.000 And this guy was a wine collector.

02:13:14.000 And he had the same kind of deal.

02:13:15.000 He had this big-ass wine cellar in his home.

02:13:18.000 And he had all of these wines that were, like, really expensive. 0.99

02:13:21.000 Like, wines from the 1700s, like a million dollars a bottle, that kind of shit. 0.99

02:13:26.000 Crazy stuff, right? 0.96

02:13:27.000 And so, someone was looking at his bottles of wine, and it was like, this is not right.

02:13:35.000 Like, this is wrong.

02:13:37.000 Like, this is spelled wrong.

02:13:38.000 This is from the wrong era.

02:13:40.000 Like, this company didn't make a magnum in this era.

02:13:43.000 That's his name, Rudy.

02:13:44.000 That guy, Rudy.

02:13:46.000 Good on you, Rudy.

02:13:46.000 Rudy is the guy who I met.

02:13:48.000 I met him at this wine party.

02:13:50.000 I remember him.

02:13:51.000 Because they were all sitting around talking about all these different wines and the flavors.

02:13:56.000 And so click on those bottles down there, the one that shows the label.

02:14:00.000 Yeah.

02:14:00.000 So those are fake bottles that Rudy had created.

02:14:05.000 And one of the companies, one of the wine producers, one of the vineyards, they had seen in Sotheby's, they were auctioning off wine.

02:14:15.000 And they had seen that there was labels of wines from their vineyard that they had never produced.

02:14:21.000 And so they got involved with it as well.

02:14:23.000 And when the Koch brothers had realized they had gotten taken, they started severely investigating and looking deep into this.

02:14:32.000 And they found that this guy had done this with so many bottles of wine that there was literally thousands of them out there that were counterfeit that had been sold for untold amounts of money.

02:14:44.000 And he's just making him in his underpants in Studio City.

02:14:46.000 It's not just that.

02:14:47.000 He had a...

02:14:47.000 I think it was his brother.

02:14:49.000 His brother was involved...

02:14:51.000 Was he from Indonesia?

02:14:52.000 Is that where he's from?

02:14:53.000 He was from another country. 0.99

02:14:54.000 And his brother was involved in some banking scam where he had bilked people out of fucking millions of dollars. 0.95

02:15:03.000 And his brother took off and vanished with millions and millions of dollars. 0.93

02:15:08.000 And then this guy winds up going to jail for...

02:15:11.000 For selling millions and millions of dollars of fake wines. 0.90

02:15:14.000 And then gets out and they fucking kick him out of the country recently. 0.84

02:15:17.000 He got out and they kicked him out and now he's over there and he is, you know, presumably someone has the money. 0.95

02:15:24.000 And they don't know like where all the money went and how it was distributed and also he had to have help.

02:15:30.000 There was other part of the film where they were speculating how many people had to be involved to create this many, like this guy couldn't have done this all in his apartment, make these thousands and thousands of bottles of wine.

02:15:42.000 So at the end of the film, they're destroying this wine that's worth fucking untold amounts of money people bought it for.

02:15:50.000 But they don't know how much he had in distribution that's just out there in these private collections.

02:15:55.000 Because at one point in the film, one guy says, This is a bottle that Rudy sold me, and this is one of the real ones before he was selling fake wine.

02:16:04.000 Because what Rudy was doing in the beginning was he was going to auctions and he was buying the most expensive wines.

02:16:10.000 So he was spending probably the brother's money when the brother was the thief.

02:16:14.000 They're probably in cahoots.

02:16:15.000 So he's using all this money and buying all this super expensive wine.

02:16:19.000 So he had been known as this big-time collector.

02:16:21.000 So then once he becomes known as this big-time collector, It's his uncle.

02:16:27.000 Okay.

02:16:27.000 His uncle, Eddie Tansil, was convicted in 1994 of embezzling 420 million from an Indonesian bank.

02:16:41.000 The money was not recovered.

02:16:43.000 And two years later, Tansil bribed his way out of prison and escaped to China, where he is believed to be today.

02:16:51.000 Wow.

02:16:52.000 So in 2019, the government seized 2.1 million worth of wine that this guy, Kurniawan, that's Rudy, had stored at the wine cellarage in New York City.

02:17:04.000 But Vasquez listed a lot of other wines owned by, I don't know how to say his last name, that the auction house Christie's, it's not Sotheby's, sorry, Christie's was holding out of reach of the U.S. government. 0.99

02:17:18.000 Wild shit, man. 0.99

02:17:20.000 But now that $2.1 million that they've seized is worth shit because it's this crap wine. 1.00

02:17:25.000 Well, look at this. 0.97

02:17:26.000 She said that out of the $20 million in property that Rudy owes the U.S. government, more than $18 million had not been collected.

02:17:36.000 This is wild stuff, man.

02:17:37.000 It's a wild documentary because it exposes this weird kink that these people have of having this wine that's very difficult to get.

02:17:46.000 But it's not much better. 0.93

02:17:48.000 I think it's funny just because these wankers talking about the tannins in their wine and this one's worth way more and this guy's just like, yeah, fucking put this label on and charge them that for it. 0.97

02:17:58.000 Well, this guy was really good at it, man. 0.98

02:18:00.000 They'll make a movie about it.

02:18:01.000 He fooled a lot of people.

02:18:02.000 But in this film, this one guy who opens the bottle goes, this is one of the real bottles that Rudy had sold me.

02:18:06.000 And so they're drinking it, and one of the guys is like, yes, this is great.

02:18:10.000 And the other guy sniffs it and tastes it.

02:18:12.000 He goes, how long has this been opened?

02:18:15.000 And he's like, oh, a couple hours. 0.94

02:18:16.000 And he goes, this is piss. 0.91

02:18:17.000 This is like skunk piss. 0.83

02:18:18.000 This is terrible. 0.99

02:18:19.000 This is fake.

02:18:20.000 This is not nearly the effervescence.

02:18:22.000 It doesn't have the je ne sais quoi.

02:18:24.000 He's using all these...

02:18:25.000 He's like, I'm a real expert. 1.00

02:18:26.000 This wine's bullshit. 1.00

02:18:28.000 And it's like, God. 1.00

02:18:30.000 And so my friend who I talked to, who was in the documentary, I was like, how much can you tell?

02:18:35.000 Like, how much can you tell?

02:18:36.000 He's like, Rudy had an incredible palate.

02:18:38.000 And he had this ability to recognize...

02:18:40.000 There are some people, allegedly, I'm not sure this is real. 1.00

02:18:44.000 This might be like the fucking Chinese death touch. 1.00

02:18:47.000 But there were some people, you know, like Kung Fu death, where they pretend they can, and people go flying. 0.98

02:18:51.000 He goes, there's some people that you can open up a bottle of wine, they can sip it, and they can throw it around their mouth, and they can tell you what part of the world it's from, what vineyard it's from.

02:19:02.000 Like, they have an exceptional palate.

02:19:05.000 Yeah.

02:19:06.000 This is supposedly true.

02:19:07.000 I think that's true.

02:19:08.000 I think it's true.

02:19:09.000 But I don't know.

02:19:10.000 So I'm just saying supposedly.

02:19:11.000 And he was saying Rudy was one of those guys.

02:19:13.000 He had an exceptional palate.

02:19:15.000 Like some people are exceptionally good at creating music.

02:19:17.000 He was exceptionally good at recognizing like the vintage of certain wines.

02:19:23.000 I applaud this guy.

02:19:25.000 I'm all for it. 1.00

02:19:26.000 I'm all for crime against idiots. 1.00

02:19:31.000 Well, it's hard to feel sorry for them. 1.00

02:19:33.000 Well, it's their own fault.

02:19:35.000 They're sitting there going, this is exceptional and blah, blah.

02:19:37.000 Yes, I'll pay this for that.

02:19:38.000 You paid for it.

02:19:39.000 He didn't sell it at a store and hustle a bunch of regular people. 0.99

02:19:43.000 He sold it to dickheads. 1.00

02:19:45.000 The Koch brother guy who had it, he had some wine that was from fucking Thomas Jefferson and some shit. 1.00

02:19:49.000 Some really fucking old wine with people's signature on it. 0.98

02:19:53.000 And they were like, that's not his signature. 0.99

02:19:54.000 This is not real.

02:19:57.000 Do you remember I gave you a bottle of Penfolds Grange at the Comedy Store one night?

02:20:02.000 I was across the road at what is considered like the Australian Oscars, whatever that is, and they were serving all this fancy Australian wine.

02:20:12.000 Penfolds Grange is, I don't know, maybe it's $400, $600 a bottle, I'm not sure.

02:20:16.000 And I thought, I'm going to try and get one for Joe, because I'd done some shows with you out here, and I just wanted to give you something nice.

02:20:23.000 And I said to the bartender, can I have a bottle of the grains?

02:20:27.000 He goes, I can't.

02:20:28.000 He's an Australian guy too.

02:20:29.000 He goes, I can't give you a bottle.

02:20:30.000 But I'm just going to turn around for exactly 20 seconds and make this cocktail over here.

02:20:35.000 And I'm just like, oh, you legend.

02:20:37.000 What a great day.

02:20:38.000 And so I grabbed it and I put it down in my suit, in my pants, and I casually walked out of the Australian Oscars, you know, straight-legged.

02:20:46.000 And I went across the road and gave it to you.

02:20:49.000 It was good wine.

02:20:50.000 I hope it wasn't fake.

02:20:51.000 No, it wasn't.

02:20:53.000 I got it straight from Rudy.

02:20:56.000 But I mean, that world is a strange world, man.

02:21:00.000 The world of really rich people looking for ways to spend their money on...

02:21:05.000 You know, they think that that's what powers the whole... 0.97

02:21:09.000 This is like Tiger Penis World and Rhino Horn. 0.99

02:21:14.000 Tiger Penis World. 0.99

02:21:15.000 Did you know that? 0.99

02:21:16.000 No, I think that's a place in Florida next to Disneyland, Tiger Penis World. 0.96

02:21:21.000 There's a group of people that are really into drinking rhino horn tea. 0.96

02:21:29.000 Oh, I know.

02:21:30.000 Yeah.

02:21:30.000 And it's only because rhino horn is so hard to get.

02:21:34.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:21:35.000 And if you do, it's not like it's better than like mint tea or some shit. 0.99

02:21:38.000 I'm sure like regular fucking Lipton tea is probably tastier. 0.99

02:21:42.000 Has it got anything to do with, and this is silly, but has it got to do with erections? 0.99

02:21:46.000 Like, is that why they drink it? 0.96

02:21:47.000 Supposedly.

02:21:48.000 Yeah, supposedly.

02:21:48.000 But I think more than that, what it really is, is that you're eating something or drinking something that is so forbidden that it's an animal that's on the verge of extinction.

02:21:58.000 And so if you are one of these people that has, like, a fucking billion-dollar yacht, and you're driving a Bugatti, and you have a party, and you're like, we're going to serve rhino horn tea, like...

02:22:07.000 Ho, ho! 1.00

02:22:08.000 Oh, look at us.

02:22:09.000 Yes, we are.

02:22:09.000 We're elite.

02:22:10.000 Yes, we are. 1.00

02:22:11.000 And they sit around and drink this fucking tea that came from an endangered species horn. 0.99

02:22:16.000 Do you know pineapples used to be like that? 0.99

02:22:18.000 Really?

02:22:18.000 Back in the day, it was very, very hard to get pineapples, so they were a symbol of wealth, and they wouldn't eat them.

02:22:24.000 They'd have them on the centerpiece of the table and go, we have a pineapple. 0.99

02:22:27.000 Whoa.

02:22:28.000 And it was, you know, a sign of, look how good we are, and you're a poverty-stricken...

02:22:33.000 When was this?

02:22:33.000 I don't know.

02:22:34.000 I make things up.

02:22:35.000 Hundreds of years ago?

02:22:36.000 Who knows?

02:22:36.000 When I was in Hawaii, we went fishing and I caught a fish that was like Moana.

02:22:40.000 You know, like the fucking Moana fish? 0.97

02:22:43.000 Like the movie Moana? 0.99

02:22:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:22:45.000 This is like a fish.

02:22:46.000 Really?

02:22:46.000 It's like a Moana fish.

02:22:47.000 Okay.

02:22:48.000 And one of the guys on the boat told me that this fish, back in the day, if you had that fish and you weren't in the royal family, if you caught that fish, you had to give it to the royal family.

02:22:59.000 If they caught you eating that fish, they would behead you.

02:23:02.000 The Royal Family of Hawaii, not the British Royal Family.

02:23:05.000 The Royal Family of Hawaii, back when Hawaii was its own country, which was until the 1950s.

02:23:10.000 I didn't know that.

02:23:11.000 I know.

02:23:12.000 It's a crazy history there.

02:23:14.000 There's one of those islands that you can't go to unless you're authentically Hawaiian. 0.65

02:23:18.000 Which one's that?

02:23:18.000 I don't know.

02:23:19.000 I can't remember which one it's called, but I've gone past it on a boat.

02:23:23.000 It's kind of crazy that you fly five hours in a plane over the ocean to go to the United States.

02:23:28.000 Like, you're in the United States?

02:23:30.000 It's nuts.

02:23:30.000 And then you fly five hours in a plane over the ocean, and then you land, and you're still in the United States?

02:23:36.000 It made me a little sad when I went there the first time, because I'm like, oh, Hawaii!

02:23:39.000 And then I went there, and all the infrastructure, like the highways and stuff, just are America, this American sign and everything.

02:23:44.000 And I'm like, oh, it's kind of just been massacred with, you know, a little bit like that. 0.95

02:23:51.000 But there's also a lot of street names that you're not gonna fucking pronounce correctly. 0.98

02:23:54.000 No way. 0.94

02:23:54.000 Because it's all Hawaiian names. 0.94

02:23:55.000 We've got that in Australia too. 1.00

02:23:57.000 Aboriginal names that you just go, what the fuck? 0.98

02:24:00.000 Well, my buddy Adam Greentree, he lives in Australia and he works a lot with Aboriginal people because he's in the mining business. 0.99

02:24:07.000 Oh, yeah.

02:24:08.000 And he told me that they're called mobs.

02:24:11.000 That's what they call like a tribe of Aborigines.

02:24:14.000 He said you can go like 30 kilometers and there's a new group that has a language that the group 30 kilometers away does not know.

02:24:22.000 Yep.

02:24:22.000 And there are hundreds of those.

02:24:23.000 Hundreds of different languages within the Aboriginal communities.

02:24:26.000 And they're losing them.

02:24:27.000 They're losing them.

02:24:28.000 Absolutely.

02:24:28.000 Because they're not written down, they're not studied, and these people are going to die off and their language is going to die off with them.

02:24:34.000 Yeah.

02:24:34.000 But there's a lot of people trying still to hold on, but it's just, I mean, it's hard because there is so many different dialects and stuff like that.

02:24:42.000 There's a whole area in Australia called Arnhem Land that's protected and you can't go in there unless you're indigenous Aboriginal and they live back the way they used to and stuff. 1.00

02:24:51.000 Isn't that where they have all those Asiatic water buffaloes, those giant water buffaloes there? 0.99

02:24:55.000 Ooh, I haven't heard of that, but probably. 0.99

02:24:57.000 We've got a lot of weird shit. 0.99

02:24:58.000 Yeah, they have invasive water buffalo that they brought from Asia. 1.00

02:25:03.000 Oh, really?

02:25:03.000 And they run rampant over that area, the northern lands.

02:25:07.000 Yeah?

02:25:07.000 Yeah.

02:25:08.000 Yeah, Arnhem Land's up in Northern Territory.

02:25:10.000 Yeah, and my friend Adam goes up.

02:25:12.000 There's, in fact, in the LA studio, and I'm going to bring it back soon, there's a giant buffalo skull that Adam gave me that was above the American flag in my old studio.

02:25:23.000 Oh, okay.

02:25:24.000 There was an American flag right above it was a giant buffalo skull that Adam had killed.

02:25:29.000 And he got that from?

02:25:30.000 He got it from Arnhem Land.

02:25:31.000 Really?

02:25:31.000 Yeah, he went up there.

02:25:32.000 Wow.

02:25:33.000 He hunts up there all the time.

02:25:34.000 Is he Aboriginal?

02:25:35.000 No.

02:25:36.000 I don't know how he gets permission.

02:25:38.000 Yeah, you can get permission and go.

02:25:40.000 But he works with a lot of those folks.

02:25:41.000 Maybe you have to pay or something.

02:25:44.000 I don't know what the deal is. 0.99

02:25:45.000 But they would go up there and Yeah, look at the size of that fucking thing. 0.99

02:25:49.000 Oh, that's the thing that Crocodile Dundee puts to sleep. 0.99

02:25:51.000 Oh, yeah, but that's not real.

02:25:53.000 Oh, that's completely real.

02:25:54.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:25:54.000 That thing will fuck you up. 1.00

02:25:56.000 How dare you? 1.00

02:25:56.000 He did that, and he put it to sleep. 1.00

02:25:58.000 It's a true story.

02:25:59.000 He said those things are really dangerous.

02:26:01.000 He said, but what's more dangerous is what they call scrub bulls. 0.96

02:26:05.000 Do you know what a scrub bull is?

02:26:06.000 No.

02:26:06.000 Scrub bulls are wild domestic cattle.

02:26:11.000 So they're wild bulls, like bull riding bulls, that have been living out there for generations, like hundreds of years.

02:26:19.000 Like they probably imported them many years ago, and then they broke loose from a fence or something like that, and they got out there.

02:26:26.000 Like they have a thing about that in the West.

02:26:28.000 In the West of America, there's who knows how many wild horses.

02:26:31.000 They're all over the place in certain states, and they're just running around, these wild horses.

02:26:37.000 Well, they have that in Australia.

02:26:38.000 They have these scrub bulls, and they look wild, man. 0.99

02:26:42.000 Oh, wow.

02:26:43.000 Like, look at some of them.

02:26:44.000 Look at that one.

02:26:45.000 Like a bossing.

02:26:46.000 Yeah, their horns are crazy. 0.61

02:26:47.000 Look at that one right there with the guy with the rifle propped up against it.

02:26:50.000 Look at the horns on that thing. 0.73

02:26:51.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

02:26:52.000 Like, what the fuck is that? 0.99

02:26:53.000 If you saw that, you'd be like, what is that? 0.99

02:26:55.000 Like, who the one that you have your cursor over?

02:26:57.000 Look at that thing. 1.00

02:26:58.000 Shit. 1.00

02:26:58.000 It's so crazy. 1.00

02:26:59.000 But he said, those are fucking... 1.00

02:27:02.000 Ferocious! 1.00

02:27:03.000 Aggressive?

02:27:03.000 Oh my god.

02:27:04.000 He said, so aggressive.

02:27:05.000 And look at the size of them.

02:27:06.000 And he said, if those see you out there, they will come charging at you.

02:27:11.000 And one of his buddies got gutted from one of those.

02:27:13.000 And he escaped and climbed up a tree, but they had to airlift him to a hospital and his guts were hanging out.

02:27:20.000 The thing gored him and sent him flying. 1.00

02:27:23.000 Shit. 1.00

02:27:23.000 And, you know, stuck something in his guts, and luckily he lived, but a lot of people die. 1.00

02:27:28.000 They get crushed by those things.

02:27:29.000 Well, you're out in the middle of absolutely nowhere there.

02:27:32.000 And those things target you. 0.99

02:27:34.000 Like, they don't fuck around. 1.00

02:27:35.000 Like, they see you, and they're like, what are you doing here, bitch? 1.00

02:27:37.000 And they just come after you. 0.99

02:27:38.000 Like, where the Asiatic water buffalo...

02:27:40.000 Oh, is that their sound?

02:27:42.000 Give me that.

02:27:42.000 There's one coming in.

02:27:44.000 Pigman hunting bulls down there.

02:27:47.000 Oh, pigman.

02:27:48.000 Yeah.

02:27:48.000 I just wanted to see if they had anything.

02:27:50.000 Pigman is a dude who, him and Ted Nugent, there's a video called Apocalypse Now, where they hunt pigs from helicopters.

02:27:58.000 Like Apocalypse Now.

02:27:59.000 So is that, he's hunting a scrub bull there?

02:28:01.000 Yeah, I was just trying to see if they had...

02:28:03.000 That's a little one.

02:28:03.000 Yeah.

02:28:04.000 That's a baby.

02:28:05.000 That might be in Texas.

02:28:06.000 Is that Australia?

02:28:07.000 No, it's Australia.

02:28:08.000 Yeah, Queensland.

02:28:08.000 Because he lives in Australia.

02:28:10.000 Excuse me, he lives in Texas.

02:28:12.000 That wasn't that exciting.

02:28:14.000 That was good.

02:28:14.000 Yeah, but hunting them with a bow and arrow is how Adam hunts them too.

02:28:18.000 It's like, bro, you might want to bring a rifle. 1.00

02:28:21.000 Yeah, shit. 1.00

02:28:22.000 I didn't know that they were lurking out. 1.00

02:28:24.000 There's a lot of things that want to kill you in Australia. 0.99

02:28:26.000 Oh, yeah, man. 0.91

02:28:26.000 A lot of bow hunting in Australia. 0.91

02:28:28.000 Do you know that?

02:28:29.000 Well, I don't, but I'm not surprised.

02:28:31.000 It's super popular out there.

02:28:33.000 Yeah?

02:28:33.000 Yeah.

02:28:33.000 There's a lot of stuff to kill.

02:28:34.000 Well, there's so many wild animals that are invasive species.

02:28:38.000 Camels.

02:28:39.000 Just shooting camels.

02:28:41.000 I bet they do hunt camels over there.

02:28:43.000 Pull that up.

02:28:44.000 You'd be definitely allowed to do this.

02:28:45.000 Bow hunting camels in Australia.

02:28:46.000 Yeah.

02:28:47.000 I bet they do that.

02:28:48.000 Sure.

02:28:48.000 They hunt cats.

02:28:49.000 Do you know that?

02:28:50.000 What kind of cats?

02:28:51.000 Feral cats, like house cats.

02:28:52.000 Really?

02:28:53.000 Oh yeah, it's a real issue.

02:28:54.000 Like a ragdoll running out there. 1.00

02:28:55.000 They have imported so many cats over there because they were trying to kill off different species.

02:29:01.000 They brought in cats, and then the cats started decimating all the ground-nesting birds and wildlife.

02:29:06.000 They've not had a good history of bringing other animals in to stop up.

02:29:10.000 That's a terrible idea.

02:29:11.000 Camel hunting. 0.95

02:29:12.000 Using bow and archery hunting.

02:29:14.000 Click on that, please.

02:29:15.000 Click on that video.

02:29:16.000 This guy's going to hunt a camel.

02:29:18.000 The camel's like, what is happening?

02:29:20.000 That's a weird hunt, because that thing is just like, what are you doing?

02:29:24.000 It's not like it knows that you're a predator.

02:29:28.000 That camel is very much aware that that guy's there, and it's not worried about him, and he just sticks it. 0.96

02:29:35.000 And here comes the shot, and...

02:29:37.000 into the vitals.

02:29:39.000 Yeah?

02:29:40.000 Apparently camel meat is delicious.

02:29:43.000 I've had camel.

02:29:44.000 Bourdain had some somewhere in the Middle East, and he said it was very good.

02:29:49.000 What did it taste like to you?

02:29:52.000 Shitty.

02:29:53.000 Shitty?

02:29:54.000 Yeah, I had alligator and emu and camel and something else when I was in Alice Springs, which is where Uluru is, you know, the big rock in Australia.

02:30:06.000 The what is?

02:30:08.000 Uluru.

02:30:08.000 Uluru?

02:30:09.000 What is that?

02:30:09.000 Uluru.

02:30:10.000 What's Uluru? 0.99

02:30:10.000 You say it like I'm supposed to know what the fuck that is. 0.99

02:30:12.000 Oh, you don't know what that is? 0.99

02:30:13.000 Do you know what that is?

02:30:14.000 It's a giant...

02:30:15.000 Nobody knows what that is.

02:30:16.000 So the whole of the app...

02:30:17.000 He said it's like, you know, where Yankee Stadium is.

02:30:19.000 Have you seen this before?

02:30:20.000 No.

02:30:21.000 You've never seen that before?

02:30:22.000 No.

02:30:22.000 That's one of our iconic things.

02:30:23.000 It's a fucking rock. 0.99

02:30:24.000 It's a huge rock in the middle of nowhere. 1.00

02:30:26.000 Everything else is flat around it.

02:30:28.000 Completely flat.

02:30:29.000 For, you know, kilometers in every direction.

02:30:32.000 And then this rock just is there for no reason.

02:30:34.000 It's huge.

02:30:34.000 That's probably one of them things where Sadhguru talked about, where if you go there, you meet aliens.

02:30:39.000 Is it?

02:30:40.000 Yeah.

02:30:40.000 Seems like it.

02:30:41.000 Yeah, that was a fun, yeah.

02:30:43.000 Yeah.

02:30:43.000 Starway to heaven.

02:30:44.000 Yeah.

02:30:45.000 Something placed.

02:30:45.000 Yeah.

02:30:46.000 Look at the size of that thing.

02:30:47.000 Yeah, monstrous.

02:30:48.000 You could fit the Eiffel Tower, Sydney Harbor Bridge, Statue of Liberty, Great Pyramid of Giza, and Big Ben.

02:30:53.000 Yeah, they're all inside there.

02:30:55.000 That's nuts.

02:30:56.000 And do they have any geological explanation as to why that thing exists?

02:31:01.000 If they do, I don't know it, but it just pops straight up like that.

02:31:06.000 And it's literally in the middle of nowhere.

02:31:09.000 What?

02:31:10.000 I've been there, and it's one of those places that you go...

02:31:14.000 I've been to Niagara Falls and stuff like that and you get this sense of just a history of the earth and something's happened, something's happened, you don't know what it is, whether it's a meteor that's gone and stuck into the earth or whatever it is, but you know something great happened at one stage.

02:31:30.000 Somewhere in the history of the earth?

02:31:32.000 Yeah, you can just feel a presence, like a real earthy...

02:31:35.000 So it just feels off?

02:31:37.000 No, you feel very grounded when you're there.

02:31:40.000 You feel very at one with nature and everything and something.

02:31:43.000 It just feels very special.

02:31:45.000 It's like a special place.

02:31:46.000 Really?

02:31:47.000 Yeah.

02:31:47.000 Is it because you know it's a special place or does it genuinely feel like a special place?

02:31:52.000 Maybe I've known it my whole life and then I saw it and I was like, oh, this is so special.

02:31:56.000 It's like when I went to Graceland.

02:31:59.000 And I thought, oh, this is so special.

02:32:01.000 Show me the toilet where Elvis died.

02:32:03.000 It was the best.

02:32:04.000 I loved that when I went to Graceland.

02:32:07.000 When you went to that rock, how long does it take to get there?

02:32:10.000 From Alice Springs.

02:32:11.000 I'm just going to guess that it's maybe like somewhere between a five and a ten hour drive or something like that.

02:32:17.000 Maybe it's closer.

02:32:18.000 Who knows?

02:32:18.000 But that whole area, it's so big.

02:32:23.000 I mean, Australia is the size of the United States.

02:32:26.000 Right.

02:32:26.000 And the population is only in...

02:32:29.000 Like if we were talking about a map of the United States, our population is only in...

02:32:34.000 LA, and then from New York down to Florida, all on the coast.

02:32:37.000 And then everything else, you think of every state in the middle, like Texas, everything, there's nothing there.

02:32:41.000 Nothing.

02:32:41.000 And the amount of population, I think, is just less than the population of California.

02:32:46.000 Yep.

02:32:46.000 I think it's 28 million or something like that now.

02:32:48.000 Which is probably just LA, if you count all the illegals. 0.94

02:32:51.000 Yeah, I think it's just...

02:32:52.000 What does it say?

02:32:54.000 Downpours?

02:32:55.000 Yeah, I was just looking.

02:32:56.000 It barely rains there, and they asked that you don't take photographs.

02:33:00.000 And the last fun fact was that less than 1% of people even get to see these waterfalls that appear when heavy rainfall hits.

02:33:06.000 I saw it.

02:33:07.000 Whoa.

02:33:08.000 Yeah, when it rains on the rock.

02:33:09.000 People talk about it.

02:33:10.000 It's a very, very special event.

02:33:11.000 It looks like the brain has carved a path through the rocks.

02:33:14.000 Yeah.

02:33:15.000 Go back to the beginning of that, please.

02:33:17.000 Look at that.

02:33:17.000 Doesn't that look like the rain has smoothed that out and carved its way through that?

02:33:22.000 Yeah.

02:33:22.000 Wow.

02:33:24.000 Why do they tell you not to take pictures?

02:33:26.000 It's a very sacred Aboriginal spot.

02:33:28.000 Oh.

02:33:29.000 So they don't want... 0.99

02:33:30.000 Meanwhile, here's some dickhead. 1.00

02:33:32.000 Here's some dick. 1.00

02:33:33.000 Trodding around in it, taking pictures. 0.99

02:33:35.000 Well, you used to be able to climb up it and everything, and then they took that away. 0.99

02:33:39.000 Ah, because people fucked with it? 1.00

02:33:41.000 Yeah, fuck that. 1.00

02:33:42.000 I don't want a bunch of fat tourists walking all over the rock to sleep. 1.00

02:33:45.000 Look at those images of the waterfalls. 0.97

02:33:47.000 Look at those right there.

02:33:47.000 Click on that.

02:33:50.000 Look at those five. 0.99

02:33:51.000 That's fucking wild. 1.00

02:33:52.000 Yeah, it's unreal. 1.00

02:33:53.000 I wonder what the fucking... 1.00

02:33:55.000 Look at that! 1.00

02:33:56.000 Where it's like carved those divots.

02:33:59.000 That's wild.

02:34:01.000 Now, is there an explanation?

02:34:04.000 See if there's an explanation.

02:34:04.000 Why does that rock exist?

02:34:08.000 There's stories in the Aboriginal culture of why it's there that are, you know, from the dream time and stuff.

02:34:15.000 What do they say?

02:34:16.000 I don't want to get it wrong and in trouble, but the one that I kind of remember is that they gathered all the criminals and stuff at the time, back hundreds of thousands of years ago or something, and they dropped a big rock on them to keep them under there.

02:34:29.000 It says it's been a significant landmark to Aboriginal people since the beginning.

02:34:33.000 The natural landmark is thought to have been formed by ancestral beings during the dreaming.

02:34:39.000 According to the local Aboriginal people, Uluru's numerous caves and fissures were all formed due to ancestral beings' actions in the dreaming.

02:34:51.000 Whoa.

02:34:52.000 Dreaming is a dream time.

02:34:55.000 So while you're asleep?

02:34:56.000 While you're asleep, basically, yeah.

02:34:58.000 So they have a different thought of what dream time is?

02:35:01.000 They believe it's when you go into the dream time and you're asleep, it's a place in between this world and the afterlife, and you can meet people in this dream time in sleep, and you can heal them and stuff like that.

02:35:14.000 It's really, really fascinating.

02:35:16.000 It's one of my...

02:35:17.000 Favorite cultural things that I've learned, and it's just very grounding.

02:35:25.000 I mean, the Aboriginal people are the closest to earth and everything of any other culture.

02:35:30.000 They're so ingrained with the way that the world that they live in works.

02:35:35.000 It's incredible.

02:35:36.000 And so, yeah, the Dreamtime's a big thing, and that's where they get a lot of their stories that they pass down and stuff like that. 0.97

02:35:42.000 I've always wondered what the fuck dreaming is. 0.96

02:35:44.000 Because they think that dreaming, there's some sort of a psychedelic chemical release by the brain during dreaming. 0.98

02:35:52.000 Because dreams and some psychedelic chemicals that are endogenously produced in the brain, like DMT, that they have similar properties.

02:36:00.000 One similar property is that if you do a DMT trip, if you have that experience, once it's over, you know it very vividly.

02:36:12.000 It escapes your memory very quickly.

02:36:15.000 Almost like you're trying to grab a ghost or you're trying to grab fog.

02:36:19.000 Yeah, right.

02:36:19.000 Like you can't hold on to the memory.

02:36:21.000 You know how you wake up from a dream and you're like, dude, I had the craziest dream.

02:36:24.000 But if you don't tell somebody that dream within like the first 30 seconds or write it down, you're going to forget it.

02:36:30.000 Yeah.

02:36:30.000 Well, how is that possible if it was such a vivid memory when you woke up?

02:36:34.000 Yeah.

02:36:34.000 You know that feeling?

02:36:35.000 Oh, of course.

02:36:36.000 I lucid dream.

02:36:37.000 I have since I was a kid, yeah.

02:36:39.000 Really?

02:36:39.000 I can control my dreams.

02:36:41.000 I've been able to do it since I was 13. You're a wizard.

02:36:43.000 I remember the first time I did it.

02:36:45.000 You're a wizard.

02:36:45.000 I know.

02:36:46.000 It's the best.

02:36:47.000 Every time I go to sleep, I basically am playing Grand Theft Auto and I usually just grab a...

02:36:52.000 I do it every time I go, I could, I'm dreaming.

02:36:54.000 And I grab a Ferrari and I just go...

02:36:56.000 Really?

02:36:57.000 Yeah.

02:36:57.000 Wow.

02:36:58.000 I met a guy when I was about...

02:37:00.000 Oh, see, I'd be sleeping all the time.

02:37:01.000 Yeah, I'm going to have a nap after this.

02:37:04.000 I met a guy in my early 20s who was a dream analysis and I told him, I've gone, oh, I lose a dream.

02:37:10.000 And he said, really?

02:37:11.000 And he was so interested in me.

02:37:12.000 He said, next time you do it, see if you can control it and then I want you to call me.

02:37:15.000 And so when I went to bed that night, I said, all right.

02:37:18.000 And I knew that I was dreaming because I saw a chocolate, I was in a 7-Eleven or something.

02:37:22.000 I saw a chocolate bar that I knew didn't exist.

02:37:24.000 And I went, that's out of place and that's not right.

02:37:26.000 And I looked around and went, oh, I'm in a dream.

02:37:28.000 Here we go.

02:37:29.000 And so I went out and I got in a car and I drove around and then I got in the air and I flew myself to New York and I was flying around buildings in New York.

02:37:38.000 And then I think that's all I can really remember.

02:37:41.000 And I woke up and I told the guy this and he...

02:37:43.000 He was beside himself.

02:37:44.000 He's like, oh my god!

02:37:46.000 Like, only a very small percentage of people can lucid dream and then a very, very small can control that and actually have control within the dream.

02:37:53.000 You can control parts, but not everything.

02:37:56.000 But I can control everything.

02:37:58.000 Wow!

02:37:58.000 And you've always been able to do this?

02:38:00.000 Since I was 13. I remember the first time that I did it at my grandma's place and I woke up and went, oh my god.

02:38:05.000 Does this happen every time you sleep?

02:38:07.000 Not every time because sometimes I just don't dream or something or I don't think about it and I wake up and it's not like I write it down in my dream journal.

02:38:16.000 But I'd say 90% of the time, yes, I do.

02:38:19.000 Wow.

02:38:21.000 So you live two lives.

02:38:23.000 Yep.

02:38:23.000 And it's always interesting when I find out that it's the dream, because it's usually a normal scenario, but something's out of place.

02:38:29.000 Like I look over and go, that hat's not right.

02:38:32.000 And then I look around.

02:38:33.000 And then in the last sort of 10 years, a stranger thing has been happening is I realize it's a dream.

02:38:40.000 And everyone in that dream looks at me and knows that I know.

02:38:44.000 And I know I've only got about 30 seconds before they kick me out of the dream.

02:38:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:38:48.000 And so I'm like, fuck you guys! 1.00

02:38:49.000 And so I run off and go and do shit until I get kicked out of the dream or something. 1.00

02:38:54.000 Like a lucid dream, how long do they usually last for? 0.97

02:38:56.000 I don't know.

02:38:57.000 I mean, how long do dreams go and how long do you remember and stuff?

02:39:00.000 But I've done some crazy shit and had full adventures in my dreams and stuff. 0.69

02:39:05.000 Wow. 0.98

02:39:06.000 Wow, that's gotta be so fucking cool. 0.94

02:39:08.000 It's fun. 0.91

02:39:09.000 Apparently, that's something you can cultivate.

02:39:11.000 Like, you can learn how to do that.

02:39:13.000 Which makes me think, like, why don't I know how to do that?

02:39:16.000 I've never even thought about it.

02:39:17.000 I've never tried to.

02:39:20.000 I remember I watched a film once that it said, it was a documentary, it said, if you think you might be dreaming, here's a way to tell.

02:39:26.000 Walk up to, like, when you're walking through a doorway, knock on the side of the doorway and go, am I dreaming?

02:39:32.000 And if you can't knock on something, then you realize, oh, this is a dream.

02:39:37.000 And it did happen to me once.

02:39:39.000 One time I did that, where I went and I tried to knock on the door, like, oh, I'm dreaming.

02:39:45.000 And I realized I was dreaming, and nothing crazy happened.

02:39:49.000 I mean, I've had crazy dreams before, but not this time.

02:39:51.000 But I was kind of in this lucid dream, and then I woke up.

02:39:54.000 People spend a lot of time trying to get that.

02:39:57.000 Like, we'll do that and then the next night we'll try again and stuff to get themselves to a point where they can lucid dream.

02:40:02.000 It's just always happened to me since I was a kid.

02:40:04.000 That's wild, dude.

02:40:06.000 Yeah.

02:40:06.000 I wonder if there's like a study they could do on you.

02:40:09.000 They could do plenty of studies on me, but I don't think it's a good idea.

02:40:12.000 I think if they sat you down in a sleep study and examined what is happening during your brain, and if you could wake up and go, yes, I was lucid dreaming, this is what I did, I wonder if they could see the activity.

02:40:25.000 I used to sleepwalk a lot, too.

02:40:27.000 I locked myself out of the house, out in the street, in my underpants. 1.00

02:40:31.000 Yeah, dangerous shit. 0.99

02:40:32.000 You know Michael Bisping, the fighter? 1.00

02:40:33.000 I heard that.

02:40:34.000 I was laughing my ass off.

02:40:35.000 It was so funny.

02:40:36.000 But I've done all that sort of stuff.

02:40:37.000 Same thing.

02:40:38.000 For people who weren't listening to that episode, Mike has night terrors.

02:40:42.000 And he had a night terror where he had family stand over his house.

02:40:46.000 He runs out naked and climbs over the neighbor's fence.

02:40:49.000 And now, granted, this is not just a regular person. 0.99

02:40:52.000 This is a former UFC middleweight champion of the world who's fucking savage, who's out there screaming naked, climbing the neighbor's fence. 0.98

02:41:02.000 And it wakes up in the middle of it and realizes what he's done. 0.99

02:41:08.000 I've done that, but I have my boxer shorts on.

02:41:10.000 I wasn't completely naked.

02:41:12.000 God, he sleeps naked. 1.00

02:41:12.000 I think if you were a fucking guy who has night terrors, you'd probably sleep with pajamas on. 1.00

02:41:17.000 Maybe put a little precautionary underpant on something, yeah. 1.00

02:41:19.000 I might even sleep with shoes on.

02:41:21.000 Why take a chance? 1.00

02:41:23.000 What if I step on broken glass and I'm running around like a fucking maniac? 0.99

02:41:27.000 That's a thing, though, that night terrors, where people just run out and smash through windows and shit and get cut up and don't realize what happened to them. 0.99

02:41:34.000 There's been stories of people jumping out of windows and really hurting themselves and stuff. 0.81

02:41:38.000 Yeah, I've heard those.

02:41:40.000 The bad thing about, well, not the bad thing, but sometimes it happens when I've, let's say I've been out, and I haven't done it in a while, but a whole weekend of partying and stuff, and I'm quite hungover in my, you know, when your brain's not working properly and stuff, and then I think,

02:41:55.000 oh, is this a dream?

02:41:56.000 And it's not.

02:41:57.000 And I'm looking around going, oh, this is a dream, and I go, hey, hey, it's not. 1.00

02:42:01.000 Don't do anything stupid. 0.99

02:42:02.000 You're not in a dream right now. 1.00

02:42:03.000 You're just hammered.

02:42:04.000 You're just hammered.

02:42:05.000 I need to go home.

02:42:06.000 You think you can fly?

02:42:07.000 Yeah, and I'm like, I'm going to fly to New York!

02:42:09.000 And I just jump off something.

02:42:10.000 It's like that old Bill Hicks joke.

02:42:12.000 Young man on acid.

02:42:13.000 Thinks he can fly.

02:42:14.000 Jumps off a building.

02:42:15.000 What a tragedy. 1.00

02:42:16.000 He goes, what a dick. 1.00

02:42:18.000 He goes, I really thought he could fly. 1.00

02:42:19.000 Why don't you just take off from the ground? 1.00

02:42:23.000 He goes, the world lost a moron. 1.00

02:42:26.000 It's a fucking great bit. 1.00

02:42:27.000 Yeah, it's funny. 0.99

02:42:28.000 He's a great bit on how come nobody ever, like, realized, like, there's no positive drug stories in the news.

02:42:34.000 You ever heard that bit?

02:42:35.000 No.

02:42:36.000 See if you can find it.

02:42:37.000 Bill Hicks, Young Man on Acid.

02:42:39.000 I had a t-shirt a while back that was Young Man on Acid.

02:42:42.000 Bill Hicks is one of those comedians that I kind of missed just in my entry to comedy and being in Australia and not knowing him and I know from the stories.

02:42:51.000 Same with Kinnison.

02:42:52.000 He was a guy that I saw when I was just starting out.

02:42:56.000 I was only like a year in a comedy or so.

02:42:59.000 And he had been on Roddy...

02:43:01.000 Drink from the beginning.

02:43:04.000 This is from Revelations. 1.00

02:43:05.000 Wow, what a fucking tragedy, huh? 0.99

02:43:08.000 I guess I'm one car linked up in traffic tomorrow. 0.99

02:43:16.000 How about a positive LSD story?

02:43:18.000 That would be newsworthy.

02:43:19.000 Don't you think?

02:43:20.000 Anybody think that?

02:43:21.000 Just once to hear a positive LSD story?

02:43:24.000 Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration.

02:43:36.000 That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively There is no such thing as death.

02:43:47.000 Life is only a dream.

02:43:49.000 And we are the imagination of ourselves.

02:43:55.000 Here's Tom with the weather.

02:43:59.000 You guys are great.

02:44:01.000 Thank you very much.

02:44:02.000 Close with that.

02:44:03.000 That was a revelation.

02:44:04.000 How many years did Bill Hicks get?

02:44:07.000 He died in the 90s.

02:44:11.000 I know he died in the 90s because I knew his girlfriend and I was living in New York and so this was like 93 and she was a comic and I did a gig with her In Connecticut,

02:44:28.000 and we were talking about it, and it was a real bummer for her.

02:44:32.000 They had already broken up and everything like that, but she knew him back in the day, and I remember at the time, it was a weird connection.

02:44:42.000 I had seen him, I saw him bomb one time, hard, to the point where he cleared the room, and he never lost confidence.

02:44:51.000 It was crazy.

02:44:52.000 That's why it's so good.

02:44:53.000 I never saw a guy bomb so comfortably.

02:44:56.000 Like, he didn't mind.

02:44:58.000 It was the same club that gave you Coke or Cash.

02:45:01.000 Oh, yeah.

02:45:02.000 That's where he bombed in Boston.

02:45:03.000 It was called the Coke or Cash.

02:45:04.000 No.

02:45:05.000 Next Comedy Stop.

02:45:07.000 Is that still around or something?

02:45:09.000 I don't think it's the same owners.

02:45:10.000 Okay.

02:45:13.000 It was a full-on mob-run joint at one point in time.

02:45:16.000 The Comedy Store was a bit like that, wasn't it?

02:45:18.000 No, no, no.

02:45:19.000 The Comedy Store was run by Mitzi.

02:45:20.000 The club beforehand was...

02:45:21.000 Yes, Ciro's.

02:45:22.000 Ciro's Nightclub was Bugsy Siegel's place.

02:45:24.000 Oh, really?

02:45:25.000 Yeah, that's why there was always stories about ghosts at the Comedy Store.

02:45:28.000 Yeah, I've done that tour and stuff.

02:45:30.000 Have you?

02:45:31.000 Yeah.

02:45:31.000 I can't remember who took me through.

02:45:33.000 Maybe Tommy or...

02:45:34.000 Oh, yeah.

02:45:35.000 Did they take you in the basement?

02:45:36.000 Yeah, everywhere and show me where the hole was where they'd get people to walk up the stairs and then...

02:45:40.000 Yeah, allegedly.

02:45:42.000 I mean, who knows how much of that's true.

02:45:44.000 But for sure, people got whacked there.

02:45:47.000 I mean, if you're at Bugsy Siegel's nightclub, for sure, someone's drunk and someone's mad and someone shoots somebody. 1.00

02:45:52.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

02:45:53.000 You know? 1.00

02:45:53.000 I mean, look, people shot at people at the store. 1.00

02:45:56.000 There used to be a bullet hole in the back sign in the back parking lot because Kinison was mad at Dice Clay and he shot a fucking hole through the sign. 0.99

02:46:03.000 Really? 0.98

02:46:03.000 Yeah, they fixed it. 0.98

02:46:04.000 I was like, why did you fix it?

02:46:06.000 How could you fix it?

02:46:08.000 So the bullet hole's still there, but the sign used to have a crack in it where the bullet had gone through and then gone into the wall.

02:46:14.000 Someone was shot there about eight years ago, because I was...

02:46:16.000 Yes, there was an audience member.

02:46:18.000 He was involved in some sort of illegal activity, and some rival gang member showed up and shot him on the patio.

02:46:25.000 Yeah.

02:46:25.000 I think Hinchcliffe was there when that went down.

02:46:27.000 I know Rose was there.

02:46:28.000 Rose the bartender was there when that happened. 0.85

02:46:30.000 Wow. 1.00

02:46:31.000 Terrifying shit. 1.00

02:46:33.000 Yeah, but that place, who knows how many people had been killed there during the Ciro's days, but that was run by Bugsy Siegel. 1.00

02:46:42.000 Wow.

02:46:43.000 Yeah, it was like a...

02:46:44.000 I used to say there's a booze-running thing from the house down to the stall.

02:46:50.000 Supposedly.

02:46:50.000 Yeah, there's a house on Crest Hill, which is right above it, which I almost bought at one point in time.

02:46:54.000 Really?

02:46:55.000 Yeah, but I had a crazy dog who was an escape artist, and...

02:47:00.000 He goes through the tunnel and just gets down to the comedy store.

02:47:03.000 No, the fence situation was not suitable.

02:47:06.000 It was like it didn't have a big enough yard for him, and the fence was not suitable, and he was smart.

02:47:11.000 And I was like, I am going to have this dog get loose and run around the neighborhood.

02:47:15.000 What kind of dog?

02:47:16.000 He's a pit bull.

02:47:16.000 Yeah, you don't need that.

02:47:17.000 He was not the dog you wanted getting out.

02:47:20.000 Really?

02:47:21.000 No.

02:47:21.000 No, no, no.

02:47:22.000 That was my...

02:47:22.000 Complete opposite of Marshall.

02:47:24.000 Yeah, total opposite of Marshall.

02:47:26.000 That was my younger, much more feral days when I used to have piranhas, too.

02:47:30.000 I had piranhas.

02:47:31.000 I had a tank full of piranhas.

02:47:32.000 Did you?

02:47:33.000 I had a tank filled with piranhas, and I bought a human skeleton online.

02:47:38.000 You could buy a human skeleton.

02:47:40.000 This is like 1990...

02:47:41.000 You should put it in a Buddhist statue. 0.99

02:47:43.000 ...five or some shit like that. 0.99

02:47:44.000 You could buy a human... 0.99

02:47:45.000 And I thought about this now. 0.99

02:47:47.000 Like, you know, I was fucking in my 20s at the time. 0.82

02:47:50.000 And I thought about this now. 0.99

02:47:52.000 I was like, how the fuck did I buy a skeleton? 0.61

02:47:56.000 This is like the early days of the internet where they had websites where you could buy things. 0.94

02:48:00.000 It seemed bizarre that you could buy anything.

02:48:02.000 Yeah, the Pam or Tommy tape or a skeleton, and you went for the skeleton.

02:48:06.000 The Pam or Tommy tape is free.

02:48:08.000 Everybody is handing that out.

02:48:10.000 Yeah.

02:48:10.000 Did you watch that limited series?

02:48:12.000 No, I didn't.

02:48:13.000 It was fun.

02:48:13.000 Was it good?

02:48:14.000 It was good.

02:48:15.000 It was very sort of well done and it was every 13-year-old boy's fantasy come true because Pam was...

02:48:22.000 Pam, she looked exactly like her.

02:48:24.000 Really?

02:48:25.000 Oh, it was incredible how well they did with that.

02:48:26.000 I saw a clip of it where Tommy was in his underwear and he was mad at some carpenters.

02:48:31.000 Yeah, he's in his underwear a lot in the series.

02:48:34.000 I met him once, because my buddy was a bodyguard for Tommy, and Tommy wanted to fight Kid Rock, because this was when...

02:48:47.000 That's such a fun fight.

02:48:49.000 Because this is when Kid Rock, he had married Pam for a while.

02:48:53.000 Yeah, after Tommy.

02:48:55.000 Yeah.

02:48:55.000 And so I guess the two of them were doing like what Pete Davidson and Kanye West are doing right now.

02:49:00.000 Like publicly quarreling over one of their former ladies.

02:49:05.000 And so I went to see...

02:49:10.000 It was when they had that Rockstar Supernova TV show.

02:49:13.000 Do you remember that?

02:49:14.000 Nah.

02:49:15.000 There was a show called Rockstar Supernova.

02:49:19.000 And it was like they put together a band. 0.94

02:49:21.000 God, I hope I'm not fucking this up.

02:49:23.000 Because I never watched it, but my friend, I don't need to say his name, introduced me.

02:49:32.000 He's like, hey, Tommy wants to meet you, but he also wants you to help him because he wants to fight Kid Rock.

02:49:40.000 I was like, what?

02:49:43.000 What are you talking about?

02:49:44.000 He has an ulterior motive.

02:49:46.000 He wants to fight Kid Rock.

02:49:47.000 I don't know if he wanted me to train him or help find him trainers.

02:49:50.000 To commentate something.

02:49:51.000 Yeah, by the way.

02:49:53.000 So I go and meet him. 1.00

02:49:55.000 He's like, I want to fuck him up. 1.00

02:49:57.000 And I looked at Tommy. 1.00

02:49:58.000 I'm like, Kid Rock is...

02:50:00.000 Like, that is a wild boy from the South.

02:50:04.000 Oh, yeah?

02:50:05.000 Your money's on Kid Rock?

02:50:06.000 I don't know, man.

02:50:07.000 I just think...

02:50:09.000 At the time, I would have put money on Kid Rock.

02:50:11.000 They seem pretty matched height-wise and size-wise, right?

02:50:15.000 The amount of deterioration they've done to their bodies.

02:50:17.000 Yeah.

02:50:18.000 I don't know, man.

02:50:19.000 I was like, Tommy, I don't like your chances here.

02:50:22.000 I think Kid Rock is wild!

02:50:24.000 Kid Rock, even the way he would sing, Kid Rock!

02:50:28.000 Yeah, right.

02:50:29.000 He was a wild boy back in the day.

02:50:31.000 Kid Rock was wild.

02:50:32.000 I went to Kid Rock's house in Nashville and he has a replica of the White House built on his property in Nashville.

02:50:42.000 It is a massive house that he's building.

02:50:44.000 It's quite a bit bigger than the actual White House.

02:50:46.000 It's quite a bit bigger, yeah.

02:50:47.000 The real White House is pretty small.

02:50:49.000 Does he have an oval office and everything?

02:50:50.000 No, it's way better than that.

02:50:51.000 Wow.

02:50:52.000 It is two bedrooms.

02:50:54.000 It's about 27,000 square feet.

02:50:56.000 It has two bedrooms.

02:50:59.000 It has the guest bedroom, and it has his main bedroom.

02:51:03.000 The rest of the house is just party.

02:51:06.000 He has a gold elevator in the center of the house, and the construction worker was like, The construction was like, well, a lot of people like to hide their elevators. 1.00

02:51:18.000 It's like, fuck that! 0.99

02:51:19.000 He goes, I want people coming over to my house like, Kid Grok's got a fucking gold elevator! 1.00

02:51:26.000 He has a steam room. 0.99

02:51:29.000 He has like a jacuzzi room that is fucking as big as the studio. 0.96

02:51:33.000 It's an enormous jacuzzi room, but it's built like an old underground mine. 0.80

02:51:37.000 So you have like exposed beams and lanterns, like old-timey lanterns that are hanging.

02:51:42.000 That sounds unreal.

02:51:43.000 Oh, it's sick! 1.00

02:51:44.000 Because he's like a fucking redneck with insane amounts of money. 1.00

02:51:48.000 He's got insane amounts of money, and he's got this fucking ridiculous house that he's built up there. 1.00

02:51:54.000 Where is it? 1.00

02:51:55.000 It's in Nashville.

02:51:56.000 Oh, Nashville.

02:51:57.000 With this amazing view.

02:51:58.000 Amazing view.

02:52:00.000 I was up there...

02:52:01.000 Why did he do the White House? 1.00

02:52:02.000 Because he's a fucking animal! 1.00

02:52:04.000 Like, why not? 1.00

02:52:05.000 He's like, I don't give a fuck! 0.99

02:52:06.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

02:52:07.000 He's a wild dude.

02:52:09.000 The setup was incredible, though.

02:52:11.000 I mean, he has a golden shower, like a literal golden shower.

02:52:14.000 You walk into like...

02:52:16.000 Off the master bathroom. 1.00

02:52:17.000 He's so happy to show you all this shit, too. 0.99

02:52:20.000 Off the master bedroom is the master bathroom, and the master bathroom has a giant shower that has gold tile. 1.00

02:52:27.000 I mean, it's like literal gold.

02:52:29.000 He's a golden shower.

02:52:30.000 The entire shower is gold.

02:52:31.000 Everything's gold.

02:52:32.000 It's not fake gold, it's real gold.

02:52:34.000 No, it's real gold.

02:52:34.000 It's fun.

02:52:35.000 He thought it'd be fun to have a golden shower. 1.00

02:52:37.000 It's like you give a fucking 13-year-old kid $100 million and you say, build whatever the fuck you want! 1.00

02:52:45.000 I want a golden shower, bitch! 1.00

02:52:47.000 I want everybody to know Kid Rock's got a fucking gold elevator in the middle of his house. 1.00

02:52:51.000 It's hilarious. 0.97

02:52:53.000 He's such a nice guy.

02:52:55.000 He's so nice.

02:52:56.000 Kid Rock is a really friendly guy.

02:52:58.000 He's a fun guy to hang around with.

02:53:00.000 What a character.

02:53:01.000 I guess he's around my age.

02:53:03.000 I guess he's around my age.

02:53:04.000 How old is Kid Rock? 1.00

02:53:05.000 He's a fucking character though, man. 1.00

02:53:07.000 He's just, his whole place, he's got a church on his property. 1.00

02:53:10.000 Oh.

02:53:11.000 Yeah.

02:53:11.000 Is he a church guy?

02:53:12.000 No, no.

02:53:13.000 He's turned 51. 51?

02:53:15.000 So he's a little younger than me. 0.97

02:53:16.000 He's got this giant, he bought this big ass piece of land. 0.99

02:53:19.000 He's got, you know, fucking hundreds of acres up there. 0.99

02:53:21.000 It's just a huge chunk of land. 1.00

02:53:23.000 And he's got a fucking church on his property. 1.00

02:53:25.000 Oh shit. 1.00

02:53:26.000 He's got a billiards hall. 1.00

02:53:27.000 You go to his house, it's like it says billiards and it's like this giant barn.

02:53:30.000 And he has multiple tables.

02:53:32.000 No, he had one table, but it's just play.

02:53:37.000 He's got play.

02:53:38.000 Everything's play.

02:53:39.000 He's got rangers that you drive around in those ATV vehicles.

02:53:42.000 Does he live there full-time, or that's his party house or something? 0.99

02:53:46.000 I think he does whatever the fuck he wants, man. 0.98

02:53:48.000 I mean, I think he lives there sometimes. 0.99

02:53:50.000 He lives other places sometimes.

02:53:51.000 Kid Rock is preposterously wealthy. 0.58

02:53:53.000 He's just preposterous.

02:53:55.000 He's been doing these arena shows his whole life.

02:53:58.000 Really?

02:53:59.000 Kid Rock was famous when I first came to California.

02:54:03.000 When did Kid Rock burst onto the scene?

02:54:06.000 Around 99, 2000, something like that.

02:54:09.000 So I first came to California in 94. So you've got to think, 99. So Kid Rock has been balling out of control since, let's say 2000. Let's just say 22 years of doing arenas.

02:54:22.000 Each arena, he's getting a piece of the bar.

02:54:25.000 Because Kid Rock is smart.

02:54:27.000 He has this deal where he gets a piece of the bar.

02:54:31.000 Metallica, he knows how to do it.

02:54:32.000 Yes.

02:54:32.000 Well, it's also like...

02:54:35.000 You're going to sell out.

02:54:36.000 Like, you're going to have a Kid Rock show?

02:54:37.000 It's going to sell out. 1.00

02:54:38.000 It's going to be a bunch of fucking drunk, crazy rednecks. 1.00

02:54:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:54:40.000 Kid Rock! 1.00

02:54:41.000 And they're going to come see him.

02:54:42.000 Imagine how much they drink, too, and he's getting all that.

02:54:45.000 Preposterous amounts of money.

02:54:46.000 So he's been doing that for 22 years.

02:54:49.000 And the only time he probably stopped touring was during the pandemic.

02:54:53.000 So all these years, he's been selling out these massive venues.

02:54:58.000 I never really knew much about Kid Rock, but I like him now.

02:55:00.000 You gotta stack millions upon millions of all those album sales back when you could actually sell albums.

02:55:07.000 He had those.

02:55:08.000 So he was selling platinum albums back when you could sell.

02:55:11.000 So he made a shit ton of money then.

02:55:12.000 And then touring money. 1.00

02:55:15.000 Merch, all that shit. 0.99

02:55:16.000 He was in Joe Dirt. 1.00

02:55:18.000 He was in Joe Dirt.

02:55:20.000 He's got some great songs too, man.

02:55:21.000 He's got a great song with Sheryl Crow, like a ballad.

02:55:25.000 He's got talent, man.

02:55:27.000 He's an interesting character.

02:55:29.000 He's a fun guy to hang out with too, man.

02:55:32.000 Maybe he can set the fight up now.

02:55:34.000 Tommy Lee, Kid Rock.

02:55:35.000 I think they probably buried it.

02:55:37.000 They buried their problems.

02:55:38.000 But Elon Musk wants to fight Putin.

02:55:41.000 Have you seen that?

02:55:42.000 Yeah.

02:55:42.000 I offered my services.

02:55:44.000 Oh, that'd be sick.

02:55:45.000 Who just went in that fight?

02:55:46.000 I said, dude, I will arrange all of your training.

02:55:47.000 I go, if you really do fight Putin, I said, I'll arrange all your training.

02:55:51.000 This world's crazy enough for that to happen.

02:55:53.000 He's like, how epic would that be? 0.98

02:55:54.000 You're going to be so fucking epic. 0.97

02:55:57.000 I would bring Feras Ahabi in. 1.00

02:55:59.000 I would bring Feras Ahabi in from Montreal to train Elon Musk. 0.97

02:56:04.000 Goddamn, that would be amazing.

02:56:06.000 And what do you think? 0.97

02:56:07.000 Are they fighting full martial arts or are they doing boxing or...

02:56:10.000 I would say martial arts.

02:56:11.000 You'd have to do martial arts.

02:56:13.000 Yeah.

02:56:13.000 You'd have to, like, an MMA fight.

02:56:15.000 Yeah, I mean, it's 2022. You know?

02:56:18.000 Fuck the boxing. 1.00

02:56:19.000 That's where the money's still at in the boxing, though, isn't it? 1.00

02:56:22.000 Well, Elon Musk is a strange character.

02:56:23.000 Because, first of all, he's a very big man.

02:56:25.000 Like, he's not small.

02:56:27.000 And Putin is smaller than me.

02:56:30.000 Elon is quite a bit bigger than me.

02:56:31.000 Elon is probably 6'2"?

02:56:35.000 Right.

02:56:36.000 And he's big!

02:56:37.000 Yeah, seems like a big guy.

02:56:38.000 He's a big guy. 0.97

02:56:39.000 And he apparently, according to him, he had some match with a world champion sumo wrestler back in the day for fun, and he fucked his neck up, like throwing this guy outside of the ring. 0.52

02:56:54.000 But he actually defeated some world champion sumo wrestler.

02:56:57.000 What? 1.00

02:56:58.000 Now, if anybody else who is a billionaire told me that, I'd be like, fuck you. 1.00

02:57:01.000 Yeah, Richard Branson. 1.00

02:57:02.000 Shut up. 1.00

02:57:02.000 But he's not a liar. 1.00

02:57:03.000 And he's also, he's so fucking smart, he might be able to figure out how to do it. 0.98

02:57:09.000 Right. 0.82

02:57:10.000 Imagine that, he just finds the mathematics of figuring out how to fix someone. 0.99

02:57:13.000 It's Elon Musk with a fucking sumo wrestler. 1.00

02:57:16.000 That shit was real. 1.00

02:57:17.000 So he really did have a match that's real. 1.00

02:57:21.000 Is there a video of this?

02:57:22.000 It's a smaller sumo wrestler.

02:57:25.000 Bro, some of the world champions are, well, smaller.

02:57:28.000 The guy looks like about 300 pounds.

02:57:30.000 But some of the best guys have been smaller guys because they're stronger and faster.

02:57:35.000 There's different schools of thought with sumo wrestling.

02:57:40.000 One school of thought is like, get the biggest Heaviest, strongest guy with the most amount of mass.

02:57:45.000 And then the other one is like, get a faster guy who has better technique.

02:57:50.000 Yeah, right.

02:57:50.000 Who, you know, maybe knows some other martial arts outside of judo, like sumo, or rather outside of sumo, like judo or something like that.

02:57:58.000 Have you ever been to a sumo wrestling match?

02:58:00.000 I have not.

02:58:00.000 I would be interested though.

02:58:02.000 They're treated like kings.

02:58:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:58:04.000 Like that's what you strive for, to be a sumo wrestler.

02:58:08.000 They had a sumo wrestler fight Hoist Gracie in Pride.

02:58:11.000 Aki Bono.

02:58:12.000 Aki Bono fought Hoist Gracie and Hoist Gracie armbarred him. 1.00

02:58:17.000 Really?

02:58:17.000 Yeah man, it was wild.

02:58:18.000 Wild fight.

02:58:19.000 See if you can find that.

02:58:20.000 That'd be more interesting than watching Elon.

02:58:22.000 Aki Bono fought Hoist Gracie.

02:58:24.000 Hoist was probably outweighed by 200 pounds.

02:58:28.000 Oh my god.

02:58:28.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

02:58:30.000 And they wind up going to the ground.

02:58:32.000 Hoist gets him in an armbar and taps him.

02:58:33.000 Wow.

02:58:34.000 Jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu.

02:58:37.000 Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

02:58:39.000 That was when Hoist had left the UFC, and then he had fought quite a few times in Pride.

02:58:45.000 It's a few matches. 1.00

02:58:46.000 Hoist is such a bad motherfucker. 0.99

02:58:48.000 What year was this, does it say? 1.00

02:58:50.000 So look at the size difference, man. 1.00

02:58:52.000 Look at the fucking size difference. 1.00

02:58:54.000 That is crazy. 1.00

02:58:55.000 So Aki Bono fucked up here. 0.98

02:58:57.000 He got on top of Hoist, and this was the big mistake. 0.98

02:59:00.000 Like, he just thought that somehow or another, because of his mass, he'd be able to control Hoist.

02:59:04.000 But Hoist is sneaking out the back door, because he's got an underhook on the left side.

02:59:08.000 So he sneaks out the back door, and they get standing up again.

02:59:10.000 And then Hoist throws a low kick and immediately goes to his back on purpose.

02:59:14.000 Because he recognizes that Aki Bono's just kind of lay on top of him. 0.99

02:59:16.000 You also got to recognize that when someone is that big, their cardio is bullshit. 0.99

02:59:20.000 There's no way. 0.91

02:59:21.000 So Hoist gets what you would call omoplata control on the left arm.

02:59:28.000 So he's going to use his right leg on the left arm.

02:59:31.000 Now he locks up the omoplata.

02:59:33.000 So now he's in a shoulder lock position.

02:59:35.000 He rolls it over and gets a straight arm bar right from here. 0.98

02:59:38.000 This is fucking amazing. 0.95

02:59:40.000 So this is actually... 0.99

02:59:41.000 Yep, he's tapping right there.

02:59:43.000 So that was like a combination of a shoulder lock and an arm bar at the same time. 0.98

02:59:48.000 Fucking amazing. 0.98

02:59:50.000 Hoist Gracie! 1.00

02:59:51.000 So that is, he's in the middle of, I guess it is more of an omoplata than it is an armbar, but he had both options for him.

02:59:58.000 So the way that position is, that's the shoulder lock omoplata position, and he also had the armbar, straight armbar position.

03:00:05.000 Took down a guy 200 pounds bigger than him.

03:00:07.000 Well, it's just smarter.

03:00:08.000 Just a great strategy.

03:00:10.000 You know, like, throw a kick and fall to your back, and the guy just instinctively, he didn't really know how to fight.

03:00:14.000 He was just a sumo guy who'd push people around.

03:00:16.000 He went on top of him and thought I'd punch him, and then Hoist ties him up, you know.

03:00:21.000 What was that for?

03:00:22.000 Like just some exhibition fight? 1.00

03:00:24.000 No, that was a fucking fight in Pride. 0.99

03:00:26.000 Pride was an enormous organization that was the rival to the UFC. And they did a lot of freak show fights. 0.99

03:00:35.000 They did a lot of fights where they would have someone outweighed by hundreds of pounds. 0.99

03:00:39.000 And that was one of them.

03:00:41.000 They did a lot of those fights.

03:00:42.000 They did a lot of crazy fights.

03:00:44.000 Japan during the day had some of the best fights.

03:00:49.000 They had arguably the best heavyweight of all time, Fedor Emelianenko.

03:00:53.000 He was their heavyweight champion.

03:00:54.000 And they had Minotauro Noguera, who was arguably the best heavyweight jiu-jitsu fighter of all time, who was their champion at one point in time, too.

03:01:02.000 And at one point in time, Noguera fought Bob Sapp.

03:01:07.000 Bob Sapp was 370 pounds with abs. 0.99

03:01:11.000 He was one of the biggest guys I've ever seen in my fucking life. 0.98

03:01:15.000 Sorry, I'm trying to clear my throat with the cough button. 0.99

03:01:19.000 And Bob Sapp pile-drived him and fucked up Noguera's neck essentially for the rest of his life. 0.88

03:01:25.000 He had neck problems for a long time after that because Bob Sapp picked him up and Noguera's like 240. Bob Sapp picks him up and pile-drives him. 0.93

03:01:34.000 He drops all of his weight.

03:01:36.000 Watch this.

03:01:36.000 I'll play this.

03:01:37.000 Because Bob Sapp was so big, he looked like the final character in a video game.

03:01:42.000 He didn't look like a real person.

03:01:44.000 Mike Tyson's punch out.

03:01:46.000 Dude, he did.

03:01:47.000 Go to the beginning of it, though.

03:01:48.000 Go to the beginning of it, though.

03:01:50.000 No, no, no.

03:01:51.000 The beginning of it, it's like you see the two of them facing off against each other.

03:01:55.000 Hold on.

03:01:58.000 That's it.

03:01:58.000 So this is Bob Sapp.

03:01:59.000 Look at the size of him, bro.

03:02:02.000 Look at the size of him.

03:02:03.000 He was so big.

03:02:04.000 And Noguera at the time was the best heavyweight jiu-jitsu fighter we had ever seen.

03:02:10.000 He was the heavyweight champion in Pride and widely regarded to be the best heavyweight on earth at the time.

03:02:16.000 And Noguera shoots in on Bob Sapp and right away Bob Sapp picks him up and pile drives him on his head.

03:02:21.000 I mean this is crazy.

03:02:23.000 Is that straight away in the first five seconds?

03:02:24.000 Well, he doesn't want to stand up with the guy.

03:02:26.000 The guy's so much bigger than him.

03:02:27.000 He wants to take him to the ground.

03:02:28.000 Look at this, though.

03:02:29.000 Boom! 1.00

03:02:30.000 I mean, literally drops him on his fucking head. 1.00

03:02:34.000 The head is the first thing that impacts it. 1.00

03:02:36.000 His neck compresses, and his neck was fucked for a long time after that. 0.99

03:02:41.000 But that's how tough Nogueira was. 1.00

03:02:43.000 And still is.

03:02:44.000 Nogueira was, like, one of the toughest of all time.

03:02:47.000 But anyway, Nogueira...

03:02:49.000 I think it made it into the second round.

03:02:51.000 Noguera snuck out the backside, got on top of him, and eventually gets him in an arm bar and submits him. 1.00

03:02:57.000 And it was crazy, but by all accounts, Noguera's neck was fucked forever after this. 0.97

03:03:05.000 And it only makes sense if you look at that impact. 0.98

03:03:07.000 I mean, that had to herniate some discs. 0.97

03:03:10.000 But it's just Bob was so big, there's no way someone could be that heavy and they could keep their cardio going.

03:03:17.000 It was just almost impossible.

03:03:19.000 But Noguera is so good at jujitsu and was one of the first heavyweights that had a real, legitimate, lethal guard.

03:03:28.000 Because a lot of the bigger heavyweight guys, they're more used to being on top.

03:03:32.000 Because a big guy like Noguera, you know, in a jiu-jitsu class when he's learning, is more likely to be the guy that winds up on top because he's heavier.

03:03:40.000 Look at Bob Sapp, tries to stomp him.

03:03:42.000 Because in Pride, you could stomp people. 0.98

03:03:45.000 You could do soccer kicks to their head when they're down. 0.63

03:03:48.000 They had different rules.

03:03:49.000 So he gets them in an arm bar, almost gets them in a triangle here.

03:03:53.000 But then they go to the ground, and then when they go to the ground, this is the, like, I think this is the final exchange.

03:03:58.000 When he gets him in the ground, he eventually gets him in an arm bar, and he taps.

03:04:02.000 And I was watching it with my friends from jiu-jitsu, and when Nogueira got him in that arm bar, we jumped off the couch.

03:04:11.000 We're like, yes!

03:04:12.000 Yes!

03:04:13.000 Because jujitsu was supposed to be the martial art where the smaller, more skillful man could beat a larger, more powerful foe.

03:04:23.000 And that was always like what you would think martial arts should be, like in the Bruce Lee movies. 0.97

03:04:28.000 But in reality, big guys most of the time fuck up small guys.

03:04:33.000 Until jujitsu came along and when Hoyce Gracie showed in the early days of the UFC was that jujitsu was so technical and there was so much advantage in knowing jujitsu. 0.64

03:04:44.000 Oh, here it is.

03:04:45.000 So he hits this switch here and then he gets him on his back.

03:04:48.000 And then when he gets him on his back, Bob's hat was exhausted.

03:04:50.000 He couldn't believe that Noguera was still fighting after all this time.

03:04:53.000 And then he locks up this arm, and then he throws a right leg over, and he gets the arm bar right here.

03:04:59.000 And we were watching, and it's like, oh my god, he's got it!

03:05:01.000 Oh my god, he's got it!

03:05:02.000 And then when he separates the hands, Noguera separates the hands here, and Bob taps.

03:05:06.000 Look at that.

03:05:07.000 And we were like, yeah!

03:05:12.000 Yes!

03:05:12.000 Nogueira was a hero to the jiu-jitsu world.

03:05:14.000 What year was that?

03:05:15.000 Oh my god, I want to say...

03:05:17.000 2003. Two?

03:05:20.000 2002. 2002. Shit.

03:05:22.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

03:05:23.000 I don't even know if I was working for the UFC back then.

03:05:27.000 There probably wasn't a lot of jiu-jitsu around, and now it's in every second.

03:05:30.000 There was.

03:05:30.000 There was still a lot, because after Hoist Gracie had won the UFC in 1993, jiu-jitsu schools erupted.

03:05:36.000 In Southern California, there was a shit ton of them.

03:05:38.000 Because when I started jiu-jitsu in 1996, there was Carlson Gracie, there was the Machados, there was Hicks and Gracie, there was Hoist Gracie, and Horian Gracie had a school in Torrance.

03:05:51.000 There was a lot of jiu-jitsu.

03:05:53.000 Yeah, right.

03:05:53.000 It had already blossomed because it was so effective and because of Hoyce's victory in the early UFCs, it had opened people's eyes to this martial art that was so much more effective in these situations of...

03:06:10.000 Like, individual stylists versus individual stylists.

03:06:13.000 Like, now everybody knows jujitsu and everybody knows kickboxing, everybody knows Muay Thai, everybody knows everything.

03:06:19.000 Like, to be an elite martial artist, you essentially have to know a little bit of everything.

03:06:23.000 But back then, these guys were specialists in the early days of the year, like, 93. And the specialists, like these judo guys, thought, I'm going to go beat the jiu-jitsu guy.

03:06:32.000 And the boxer thought, I'm going to go beat the wrestler.

03:06:35.000 And we got a chance to understand what was the best.

03:06:38.000 And early on, before people learned jiu-jitsu, jiu-jitsu was king.

03:06:42.000 And it was king because of that guy, because of Hoist Gracie.

03:06:44.000 Really?

03:06:45.000 Yeah.

03:06:45.000 And Noguera was a direct descendant of Hoist Gracie in terms of the effectiveness of jiu-jitsu being applied against bigger, stronger foes.

03:06:55.000 Do you think most of the UFC fighters these days come from jiu-jitsu backgrounds?

03:07:01.000 No, a lot of them come from wrestling.

03:07:02.000 Some of the greats come from wrestling.

03:07:04.000 Jon Jones, Daniel Cormier.

03:07:05.000 Some of the greats come from kickboxing, like Stylebender.

03:07:09.000 They come from all kinds of different places.

03:07:12.000 They come from all kinds of different styles.

03:07:13.000 And there's no...

03:07:15.000 It's more about the athlete, what they're capable of doing, their experience, their technique, their strategy, the kind of cardio they have, their ability to implement their game plan.

03:07:26.000 It's more that now than it is just one individual style.

03:07:30.000 Because everybody knows everything.

03:07:31.000 The elites of the guys that you see today, when you see someone that's truly exceptional, they're generally good at many things.

03:07:40.000 Yeah.

03:07:41.000 It's such a strange thing that you have to work your ass off and get your face punched in for 10 years before you can even have a chance at going to the UFC and getting on the big stage and making money out of it and stuff.

03:07:54.000 There's so many people that just do that sport for...

03:08:00.000 Yeah, there's that.

03:08:06.000 There's that.

03:08:12.000 An ability that's above and beyond everyone in their peer group.

03:08:17.000 And there's a guy now, Hamzat Chemayev.

03:08:19.000 Hamzat Chemayev has had four fights in the UFC. He's been hit twice.

03:08:25.000 What?

03:08:25.000 Dude, he's undefeated.

03:08:27.000 He has more victories in the UFC than he's been hit.

03:08:32.000 And I'm not exaggerating. 0.97

03:08:33.000 He's so fucking good, it's terrifying. 0.99

03:08:36.000 He's so good, it's terrifying. 0.99

03:08:38.000 He is the future.

03:08:40.000 If he can maintain this standard of performance as he faces stiffer and stiffer competition, and we'll find out very soon, because he's fighting Gilbert Burns, who's a world champion jiu-jitsu guy, top of the food chain MMA fighter.

03:08:57.000 A guy who's been in there against Kamaru Usman, a guy who's beaten guys like Damian Maia, a guy who's beaten Tyron Woodley.

03:09:05.000 He's beaten like elite, elite fighters.

03:09:08.000 He's a big, big step up in competition for Hamzat. 0.86

03:09:12.000 But if Chemayev can beat him, if he can beat Gilbert, he's the real deal.

03:09:17.000 And we're going to find out.

03:09:18.000 Because the competition that he's faced so far...

03:09:20.000 He's not been anywhere near the level of Gilbert Burns.

03:09:23.000 Gilbert Burns is absolutely elite.

03:09:26.000 He's a fantastic striker.

03:09:28.000 He is as good on the ground as anybody.

03:09:30.000 He's so good.

03:09:31.000 His jiu-jitsu is so top-level.

03:09:33.000 His wrestling is excellent.

03:09:35.000 His cardio is excellent.

03:09:37.000 He's a fierce competitor.

03:09:38.000 And he's a world-class fighter.

03:09:40.000 He's a proven world-class competitor.

03:09:43.000 So that's a big fight.

03:09:44.000 And that's coming up next.

03:09:45.000 I think that's in Florida.

03:09:47.000 It's a big fight.

03:09:48.000 Jacksonville.

03:09:48.000 Yeah, it's a big fight.

03:09:49.000 I think I'm coming out for that.

03:09:50.000 You got to be for that?

03:09:50.000 Come on, son.

03:09:51.000 Let's hang out.

03:09:52.000 Yeah, let's hang out.

03:09:52.000 Let's party.

03:09:55.000 I would be hated by everyone who loves UFC because I've got to sit next to you and watch the sport and I've got no fucking idea what's going on. 0.89

03:10:03.000 I love it. 0.83

03:10:04.000 I love watching it.

03:10:05.000 And it's such a great spectator sport and I love seeing the passion that everyone has for it. 0.99

03:10:09.000 But I don't know shit. 0.98

03:10:11.000 You'll love it. 0.98

03:10:12.000 That's all that counts.

03:10:12.000 I like watching it.

03:10:13.000 That's great.

03:10:14.000 If you sat there and hated it, then people would hate you. 1.00

03:10:17.000 Oh, fuck that. 1.00

03:10:17.000 You could be a fan and not be, you know, technically proficient. 1.00

03:10:21.000 No, it's a great spectator sport.

03:10:23.000 I've been to so many UFC events.

03:10:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:10:25.000 I don't know what the fuck's going on. 0.99

03:10:26.000 There's nothing like it when you're seeing it live. 1.00

03:10:30.000 Live, it's so crazy.

03:10:32.000 It's such an amazing sport, live.

03:10:34.000 I got to see McGregor come up and stuff because it was just so interesting to see that.

03:10:39.000 And everyone was talking about it.

03:10:40.000 We were in Vegas for a fight and the press conference got a thousand Irish hooligans and everyone was like, what's going on? 1.00

03:10:49.000 And they were all chanting and stuff.

03:10:50.000 Because I'm from Australia and we party the same way, I knew that they were all just partying and stuff.

03:10:54.000 But people were scared in the Vegas casinos because they'd come through and they're like, oh, what's happening?

03:10:59.000 Well, they took over the casinos.

03:11:00.000 I remember Mandalay Bay, there was a scene where the entire Mandalay Bay Casino, there's this hallway when you're headed to the Shark Reef.

03:11:10.000 Yeah.

03:11:10.000 You know that area?

03:11:11.000 I was there.

03:11:11.000 It was filled with Irish people singing.

03:11:14.000 I was there.

03:11:15.000 Singing.

03:11:15.000 And everyone was terrified.

03:11:16.000 I'm going, they're fine.

03:11:17.000 They're singing.

03:11:18.000 They're having fun.

03:11:19.000 They're drinking.

03:11:19.000 They're not interested in fighting and stuff.

03:11:22.000 Could you imagine if you were a UFC fighter and you got caught up in that and they all wanted to take the picture with you?

03:11:28.000 Oh, yeah.

03:11:28.000 You would never get home.

03:11:29.000 No.

03:11:30.000 You're never getting home.

03:11:31.000 No.

03:11:31.000 It's like Randy Couture trying to make his way through.

03:11:33.000 Randy, you're a fucking legend. 1.00

03:11:35.000 Come drinking with us for three days and they just capture you and take you in a van somewhere. 1.00

03:11:40.000 Proper 12. Drink it.

03:11:44.000 That was before Prop 12. Yeah, look at these fucking people. 1.00

03:11:47.000 Yeah, I was there. 1.00

03:11:48.000 I was watching that.

03:11:52.000 Jesus.

03:11:59.000 They're all singing a Conor McGregor song.

03:12:02.000 He's got a shoe in his hand.

03:12:03.000 Why is that man holding a shoe?

03:12:05.000 That's MGM. That was...

03:12:09.000 That was, I think, was 94 when he beat Jose Aldo?

03:12:14.000 That's MGM. Yeah, it's in MGM, but what was the victory?

03:12:19.000 What fight was that?

03:12:19.000 I wonder what fight that was.

03:12:21.000 Aldo?

03:12:21.000 Oh, that was the fight, because that was when he won the title.

03:12:24.000 Yeah.

03:12:25.000 That was when he knocked out Aldo with one punch.

03:12:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:12:27.000 Fuck. 1.00

03:12:28.000 He said he was going to knock him out with one punch. 1.00

03:12:30.000 He literally said.

03:12:31.000 He did.

03:12:32.000 He said how he was going to do it.

03:12:33.000 He'll be too aggressive.

03:12:34.000 He'll be too aggressive.

03:12:34.000 The left hand will catch him.

03:12:36.000 Ha! 0.89

03:12:36.000 And he got him. 0.89

03:12:37.000 And he did it. 0.99

03:12:38.000 Fucking perfect. 0.99

03:12:38.000 It was Mystic Mac. 0.99

03:12:39.000 That was the early days when he was calling, he was saying the round that he was going to beat people.

03:12:44.000 I know.

03:12:45.000 And it was awesome to watch.

03:12:47.000 Yeah, man.

03:12:48.000 You know, he's talking about fighting Kamaru Usman.

03:12:50.000 Like, whoo.

03:12:51.000 Be careful what you ask for.

03:12:53.000 Really?

03:12:53.000 Be careful what you ask for.

03:12:55.000 Usman is a big man, and he is top of the food chain right now.

03:13:00.000 That's the best pound-for-pound fighter alive is Kamaru Usman, and he's a natural 170. You've got to remember, Conor McGregor won the title at 145. Fucking hell, that's small.

03:13:13.000 And then he went up to 155, and he knocked out Eddie Alvarez. 0.97

03:13:16.000 He became the champ champ, so he's concurrent, holding two titles concurrently.

03:13:21.000 And then he fought at 170, but he fought Cowboy Cerrone, who's a natural 155-pounder.

03:13:26.000 And, you know, no knock on Cowboy, and Cowboy's beat a lot of good 170-pounders.

03:13:30.000 He's an elite fighter.

03:13:33.000 But Usman's a different thing.

03:13:35.000 That's a different peak.

03:13:37.000 There's no oxygen at the top of that mountain.

03:13:40.000 You know, that's as good as it gets ever at 170. I would put Kamaru Usman up against any 170-pound fighter that's ever lived.

03:13:48.000 I mean, I'm not saying that he would beat George St. Pierre.

03:13:50.000 I'm not saying he would beat all of them, but he might beat all of them.

03:13:54.000 He might be the best it's ever been at 170. He's as good as they get.

03:13:57.000 He's got ferocious knockout power.

03:14:00.000 He's elite at wrestling.

03:14:01.000 Nobody puts him on his back.

03:14:03.000 Colby Covington got a very quick takedown.

03:14:06.000 Daniel Cormier called it a takedown.

03:14:07.000 He's a world-class wrestler.

03:14:09.000 He says it's a takedown.

03:14:10.000 I say it's a takedown.

03:14:11.000 The only guy that's ever...

03:14:12.000 But it was very quick.

03:14:13.000 And Usman right back up to his feet.

03:14:15.000 What about Khabib? 0.94

03:14:16.000 The wrestling...

03:14:17.000 Well, that's a different weight class.

03:14:18.000 Oh, it is.

03:14:19.000 Khabib's 155. Me playing an idiot again. 1.00

03:14:22.000 No, you're not an idiot. 1.00

03:14:23.000 You're just out of question. 1.00

03:14:24.000 But Kamaru is as good as anybody has ever been at 170. And he also has one-punch knockout power.

03:14:31.000 You know, he knocked out Jorge Masvidal with one punch.

03:14:34.000 And Jorge was thought to be the striker in that fight.

03:14:37.000 Kamaru was thought to be, you know, the all-well-rounded fighter, who's a great striker and a great wrestler.

03:14:42.000 But you would think that if the advantage existed for Masvidal, it would be as a striker.

03:14:48.000 And then Usman shut the lights out with one shot.

03:14:52.000 Just the cleanest right hand I think anybody's ever thrown in the history of the sport.

03:14:56.000 Pulled that up.

03:14:56.000 That must be a good feeling.

03:14:57.000 Pulled that up because it was so clean that Masvidal was unconscious as he was going down and his face bounces off Camaro's shoulder. 0.99

03:15:06.000 Oh shit. 0.98

03:15:07.000 Like as he's going out. 1.00

03:15:10.000 Watch this because it's so clean.

03:15:13.000 Watch this.

03:15:16.000 Look, his head snaps back.

03:15:18.000 Watch his head.

03:15:19.000 He just goes out.

03:15:23.000 Look at that.

03:15:27.000 Listen to us scream, screaming like little girls.

03:15:29.000 Me and DC were screaming.

03:15:31.000 It was crazy because you would you would think that Kamara would have an advantage in the fight overall because he's the best and they fought before and he had dominated him in a decision but Masvidal had his moments in the striking but Kamara is so good and so dedicated and his mind is so fucking strong that he got so much better in the striking that he knocked him outstanding in the next fight and And he's still getting better.

03:15:57.000 He's still getting better.

03:15:58.000 The strong mind is the key?

03:16:00.000 It's everything.

03:16:01.000 The mind is that...

03:16:02.000 Well, you have to have the body. 1.00

03:16:03.000 Because if you have a strong mind, a bullshit body... 1.00

03:16:05.000 Yeah, right. 1.00

03:16:07.000 There's nothing you do.

03:16:07.000 But Kamaru has both.

03:16:09.000 I mean, look at his body.

03:16:10.000 I mean, look at...

03:16:11.000 Give me a photo of Kamaru's body.

03:16:13.000 I don't want to ride the jock.

03:16:15.000 But too late.

03:16:16.000 He's about as shredded as any man.

03:16:19.000 Let's get out pictures of blokes.

03:16:20.000 I want to see some shredded goods.

03:16:21.000 He's got as good a body as you could ever have. 0.98

03:16:24.000 I mean, he's fucking shredded at 170 pounds. 0.98

03:16:27.000 I mean, look at him. 0.99

03:16:28.000 Dude.

03:16:29.000 Look at that picture where he's pounding on his chest.

03:16:31.000 That one over there when he's pounding.

03:16:33.000 Look at that. 1.00

03:16:33.000 Come the fuck on, son. 1.00

03:16:35.000 Terry Crews. 1.00

03:16:36.000 He's fucking jacked. 0.99

03:16:39.000 And he's about perfect for 170 in terms of his dimensions. 1.00

03:16:44.000 He's just tall enough, just strong enough.

03:16:46.000 There's like a thing where all the pieces have to be in place, especially in the UFC because there's so many weight classes.

03:16:54.000 But the space in between the weight classes is so big.

03:16:57.000 The gap between 155 and 170 is 15 pounds.

03:17:02.000 That's a lot, man.

03:17:04.000 That's a lot.

03:17:04.000 I'm 15 pounds overweight right now.

03:17:06.000 That's a lot.

03:17:07.000 But, I mean, you're talking about 15 pounds of lean muscle and bone.

03:17:11.000 Right, right.

03:17:12.000 You know, imagine 15, like, beautiful cowboy cut ribeyes.

03:17:20.000 That's the advantage that Usman has.

03:17:23.000 Power.

03:17:25.000 And it's not like he's slow.

03:17:26.000 He's got great speed.

03:17:28.000 To be a great fighter, all the pieces have to be in place.

03:17:32.000 You have to have amazing genetics.

03:17:34.000 You have to have a superior work ethic.

03:17:37.000 You have to have crazy discipline.

03:17:39.000 And you have to have a mind.

03:17:41.000 The strength of the mind is so important, the ability to overcome, the ability to figure out what to do in times of peril.

03:17:48.000 When things go sideways, how do you adjust?

03:17:51.000 What decisions do you make?

03:17:53.000 Whether you have any give up in you.

03:17:55.000 Some people have a little give up in them.

03:17:57.000 You just have to find what's that threshold.

03:18:00.000 Right.

03:18:02.000 People have made Conor give up.

03:18:03.000 They've made him tap.

03:18:04.000 You know, he's tapped.

03:18:05.000 Nobody's made Usman tap except one time.

03:18:08.000 One time, the second fight of his career, he got caught in a rear naked choke and he got tapped out.

03:18:12.000 But, you know, he was new.

03:18:14.000 He was beginning.

03:18:15.000 And, you know, it was like tap or nap.

03:18:17.000 Like, take a choice.

03:18:17.000 He got caught.

03:18:18.000 He got caught in a rear naked choke and it was perfect. 1.00

03:18:20.000 And, you know, anybody's ever been caught in a rear naked choke when it's perfect, you know, like, you're not getting out.

03:18:25.000 And he wasn't good enough at Jiu Jitsu at that time to get out.

03:18:27.000 But since then, he smashed everybody.

03:18:30.000 He was the guy that when he was running through opponents on his way to the title, everybody was calling everybody out.

03:18:36.000 I don't want to fight this guy.

03:18:37.000 I don't want to fight that guy.

03:18:38.000 They never said his name.

03:18:40.000 Nobody said Camaro's name.

03:18:42.000 Nobody's like, give me Usman. 1.00

03:18:44.000 People would go, what the fuck are you saying? 0.99

03:18:45.000 And was he sitting there going, how come no one's called me out? 0.99

03:18:48.000 100%.

03:18:49.000 I would talk to him when I would interview him after fights.

03:18:52.000 He was calling everybody out.

03:18:54.000 He was the nightmare.

03:18:55.000 That's his nickname. 1.00

03:18:57.000 He's the Nigerian nightmare. 1.00

03:18:58.000 That was what he really is. 1.00

03:19:01.000 He was the nightmare.

03:19:02.000 Because everybody was like, let me get to the title before he comes there.

03:19:05.000 Let me get a taste before he comes in too hard. 0.69

03:19:08.000 Just give me a piece.

03:19:09.000 There's guys that are so good.

03:19:11.000 They're so good that you really don't know who's going to be able to beat them.

03:19:17.000 And with Kamaru, the guy in his division is Hamzat Chemayev.

03:19:23.000 So that's Hamzat Chemayev.

03:19:24.000 Hamzat has four fights, destroyed everyone. 0.96

03:19:28.000 He's undefeated in his career.

03:19:30.000 I mean smashed people.

03:19:32.000 See if you can find a highlight of Hamzat. 0.86

03:19:35.000 Smashes people. 1.00

03:19:36.000 And he's from Chechnya. 1.00

03:19:38.000 He's a wild motherfucker with his crazy beard. 1.00

03:19:41.000 And after the fights, he's like, I'll kill everybody! 1.00

03:19:44.000 I'm going to kill everybody! 1.00

03:19:46.000 He's fucking terrifying, man. 1.00

03:19:48.000 And the people that train with him said, bro, you've only seen a fraction of what this guy's capable of. 0.99

03:19:52.000 His work ethic is unstoppable.

03:19:55.000 Give me a rewind before that.

03:19:59.000 This is Gerald Merchardt.

03:20:00.000 He smoked him with one punch.

03:20:02.000 First punch of the fight.

03:20:04.000 Smokes him. 1.00

03:20:04.000 I'm telling you, man, this motherfucker is wild. 1.00

03:20:07.000 And he's like, I kill everybody! 1.00

03:20:09.000 I kill everybody! 0.99

03:20:10.000 But everybody he's fought. 0.99

03:20:12.000 His last fight, he fought Lee Jingleong.

03:20:14.000 He grabs him, picks him up, and brings him over to Dana White.

03:20:18.000 So this guy, he just beat the shit out of him and stopped him.

03:20:21.000 But I want to see, and this is one of the guys that's only, this is one of the few times he's been hit. 0.91

03:20:25.000 And like these, they count these as punches.

03:20:28.000 Like, look at this.

03:20:28.000 He's getting controlled, and this guy, from his back, reaches up and kind of punches him a little bit in the face, and they counted that.

03:20:34.000 But scoot ahead to Lee Jingliang, because that's one of the scariest ones.

03:20:39.000 Because he reaches in, he picks him up, and he carries him over to Dana White. 0.80

03:20:45.000 They don't have that on?

03:20:46.000 Oh, this is probably an earlier highlight before.

03:20:49.000 Yeah, this is, because Dan Hardy's there.

03:20:52.000 He picks him up in the beginning of the fight, drags him over to Dana while he's talking to him.

03:20:56.000 He's like, I smashed them all! 0.92

03:20:58.000 I'm going to smash them all! 0.96

03:21:00.000 You see this, Dana? 1.00

03:21:01.000 And he slams him on the ground.

03:21:03.000 See if you find Hamzat versus Li Jingliang.

03:21:09.000 No, just go Lee Jingleon.

03:21:12.000 Jingleon.

03:21:13.000 There it is right there.

03:21:14.000 See right there?

03:21:16.000 That's it.

03:21:17.000 You just play the beginning of it because it starts with a slam.

03:21:20.000 The fight is so fast.

03:21:22.000 He reaches in at the beginning of the fight and just...

03:21:25.000 Oh, it's not the actual fight.

03:21:28.000 Yeah, because the UFC pulls these.

03:21:30.000 So he shoots in on him, grabs ahold of him right away, hoists him up in the air, and walks over to Dana White while he's carrying this... 0.94

03:21:37.000 So this is it right here.

03:21:38.000 Look at this.

03:21:39.000 That's so disrespectful.

03:21:41.000 He picks him up, he carries him in the air, and look, he walks over to Dana White.

03:21:45.000 He's like, look, Dana!

03:21:48.000 He throws him down.

03:21:51.000 Look at this.

03:21:54.000 He's not even paying attention to the fighter!

03:22:01.000 He's not even paying attention to him!

03:22:03.000 He's having a chat with Dino.

03:22:04.000 Now, this guy is...

03:22:07.000 You know, he's several fights away from fighting Usman.

03:22:11.000 Because if you look at it realistically, right now I think Leon Edwards is next for Kamaru Usman.

03:22:16.000 I think Dana White has said that.

03:22:17.000 I think that's right.

03:22:18.000 That's the best fight.

03:22:19.000 Leon is a spectacular fighter, super technical, super high level.

03:22:23.000 That's going to be a great fight.

03:22:24.000 They fought once before.

03:22:25.000 Kamaru won a decision, but it wasn't like he didn't destroy him.

03:22:28.000 And Leon has gotten substantially better.

03:22:30.000 So is Kamaru.

03:22:31.000 That's a great fight.

03:22:32.000 That would be next.

03:22:33.000 But if...

03:22:34.000 Kamzak can keep going.

03:22:36.000 If he can get past Gilbert Burns, and that's a big if, because Gilbert's a big step up, but if he can maintain the level of performance we've seen from him up until now in the octagon, that's a big fight.

03:22:49.000 But there's a lot of ifs there.

03:22:52.000 Right.

03:22:52.000 You know, the sport is...

03:22:54.000 Look, he got really sick with COVID and kept training and almost retired.

03:22:59.000 Because he's so tough that he tried to keep training when he was recovering from COVID and got, like, his lungs were bleeding.

03:23:06.000 There's a picture of him where he posted on Instagram that he was going to retire.

03:23:10.000 And he showed a photo of his toilet bowl.

03:23:13.000 And the toilet bowl was filled with blood, like splattered blood from him coughing blood into the toilet bowl.

03:23:19.000 No, from COVID. COVID. He got COVID. He was one of those guys that's just like too tough and kept training.

03:23:26.000 Didn't recover. 1.00

03:23:27.000 Like, he got COVID and was like, fuck it, I train! 1.00

03:23:29.000 He went COVID! I fucking train! 1.00

03:23:31.000 So he kept training while he had COVID. And he was coughing blood up. 1.00

03:23:34.000 And it took him a long time.

03:23:36.000 He was in the hospital on multiple occasions.

03:23:39.000 More than one time he was in the hospital for COVID. Because he would get better, they let him out of the hospital, and he would train again.

03:23:45.000 And then you get back in the hospital, they're like, what the fuck are you doing back here again? 0.60

03:23:48.000 He wouldn't just recover. 1.00

03:23:51.000 So he's just an animal, just a complete animal.

03:23:55.000 Yeah, right.

03:23:56.000 But super technical, too.

03:23:58.000 Like an elite wrestler, fantastic striker, work ethic second to none.

03:24:02.000 So it's going to take someone like that.

03:24:05.000 And again, he's got to keep going.

03:24:07.000 He's got to beat guys like Gilbert Burns.

03:24:09.000 He's got to beat world-class fighters for him to legitimately have a shot at the title.

03:24:16.000 But if he can keep going, what a story that is.

03:24:18.000 And that would be an epic fight.

03:24:20.000 And again, there's a lot of ifs.

03:24:22.000 Does he have the time?

03:24:23.000 Is he getting old?

03:24:24.000 No, he's young.

03:24:25.000 He's good.

03:24:26.000 How old is Hamzat? 0.53

03:24:28.000 I think he's in his 20s. 1.00

03:24:29.000 Shit. 1.00

03:24:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:24:30.000 And I think Kamaru is 34, I believe. 0.99

03:24:34.000 I believe Kamaru is 34. Kamaru is trying to fight Canelo Alvarez.

03:24:39.000 He wants to get that big money fight with Canelo Alvarez, have a boxing match.

03:24:43.000 Of course.

03:24:43.000 Everyone wants a big money fight.

03:24:44.000 I do.

03:24:45.000 Yeah.

03:24:46.000 I mean, I support him in that.

03:24:49.000 I want Kamaru to make 100 million bucks like Conor did with Floyd.

03:24:54.000 So he's 27. Yeah.

03:24:57.000 Amazing. 1.00

03:24:58.000 He's a fucking animal, man. 1.00

03:24:59.000 And he fights at 185 and fights at 170. He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

03:25:03.000 He's a terror. 1.00

03:25:04.000 He's a real terror.

03:25:05.000 Who do you think would be a good matchup for you to fight?

03:25:08.000 Nobody.

03:25:09.000 Nobody?

03:25:10.000 Nobody.

03:25:10.000 No one.

03:25:11.000 What if there was a celebrity fight like Van Damme back in the day? 0.99

03:25:15.000 Bro, I fucking... 0.97

03:25:16.000 I worked out today. 0.99

03:25:18.000 I hit the pads and my knees hurt.

03:25:20.000 I'm done, dude. 1.00

03:25:20.000 Oh, bullshit. 1.00

03:25:21.000 I'm 54. I'm not fighting anybody. 1.00

03:25:23.000 You can fight someone.

03:25:23.000 Come on.

03:25:24.000 We'll get you and Kid Rock.

03:25:25.000 Oh, settle down. 0.99

03:25:28.000 If I got Kid Rock down, I wouldn't hurt him. 0.98

03:25:30.000 I would just choke him. 0.70

03:25:31.000 I like him too much. 0.95

03:25:32.000 I like his golden elevator.

03:25:34.000 I don't want to...

03:25:35.000 Alright, we've got to wrap this up.

03:25:36.000 We're three hours plus in, my friend.

03:25:38.000 Glad we did this, my friend.

03:25:39.000 Thanks so much for having me.

03:25:40.000 Great times, Monty.

03:25:41.000 Let's do it again.

03:25:42.000 Yes, please.

03:25:43.000 Monty Franklin on Instagram, Twitter.

03:25:46.000 I don't do Twitter.

03:25:47.000 Never even been on there.

03:25:48.000 Good for you. 1.00

03:25:49.000 I know, fuck that place. 1.00

03:25:50.000 Fuck that place. 1.00

03:25:51.000 Instagram, Monty Franklin, sure. 1.00

03:25:53.000 Instagram, website.

03:25:54.000 Montyfranklin.com.

03:25:55.000 I got some shows coming up.

03:25:56.000 Tours, where are you at?

03:25:58.000 Denver Comedy Works, my favorite place in the country.

03:26:00.000 Wendy's been nothing but awesome to me. 1.00

03:26:02.000 She's the shit. 1.00

03:26:03.000 Shout out to Wendy. 1.00

03:26:04.000 Yeah, she's the best.

03:26:05.000 I got Bray Improv coming up and there's shows on there.

03:26:08.000 Nice, beautiful.

03:26:09.000 Come and see me. 1.00

03:26:10.000 Yell some shit at me, it'd be great. 1.00

03:26:11.000 Yeah, Denver's fucking such a great place. 1.00

03:26:13.000 She's been the best to me. 0.97

03:26:15.000 I love her.

03:26:16.000 That downtown club.

03:26:17.000 There it is right there.

03:26:18.000 Comedy Works.

03:26:19.000 Comedy Works.

03:26:20.000 South.

03:26:21.000 That's the big place with the balcony, right?

03:26:22.000 Yeah.

03:26:23.000 Yeah, it's a great room.

03:26:24.000 But they're both great.

03:26:25.000 The downtown room's great, too.

03:26:26.000 I've been working for Wendy forever, since the 90s.

03:26:28.000 I love her.

03:26:29.000 I love her to death.

03:26:30.000 She's the best.

03:26:30.000 And she treats the comedians so well.

03:26:32.000 She's the best.

03:26:32.000 I even do, when I do the big theaters, I do it with her.

03:26:35.000 Yeah.

03:26:36.000 I'm doing the Belco.

03:26:38.000 When am I doing that?

03:26:39.000 Why did you choose to do that and not the arena or something there? 1.00

03:26:42.000 Oh, fuck it. 1.00

03:26:42.000 April 30th. 1.00

03:26:43.000 Because I don't remember.

03:26:45.000 I don't remember.

03:26:46.000 You probably like that theater.

03:26:48.000 But it's four shows at 5,000 people, so that's just as fun as doing an arena.

03:26:52.000 Is that what that is?

03:26:52.000 5,000?

03:26:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:26:53.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

03:26:54.000 Theater shows are fun. 1.00

03:26:56.000 It's a great theater, too.

03:26:58.000 So we're doing...

03:26:58.000 That's Duncan Trussell, me, Tony Hinchcliffe, and Hans Kim.

03:27:05.000 Hans Kim's going to open that bitch up. 1.00

03:27:07.000 Unreal. 0.99

03:27:08.000 We're going to have fun.

03:27:08.000 All right.

03:27:09.000 My friend!

03:27:09.000 Thank you, Mike.

03:27:10.000 Thank you.

03:27:10.000 Thank you very much.

03:27:11.000 Bye, everybody.

03:27:11.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 22, 2022

Joe Rogan Experience #1794 - Monty Franklin

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript