In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the comedian and podcaster talks about his life growing up in New York City, how he got into comedy, and why he thinks Paul McCartney should have married a woman who wasn t into him. Also, he talks about what it's like to be married to someone who s not into the same things you are into and how to deal with that. Joe also talks about why he doesn't have kids and why it's a good thing he's not in a relationship with someone who is not into it. And finally, he gives us the inside scoop on what he thinks is going on with Amber Heard and why she should have left her husband for a crazy woman named Amber Heard. This episode is sponsored by Claim Jumpers. To find a list of our sponsors and show-related promo codes, go to gimlet.fm/sponsorships/TheJoeRoganPODCAST and use the promo code JOERogan at checkout to receive 10% off your first purchase when you enter the discount code: JOEPRODCAST at checkout. Thanks to all the sponsors who helped get us out there and supported the show! Thank you again to our sponsorships and shoutout to our sponsor, Laticrete! We hope you enjoy the show and keep coming back for more episodes in the coming weeks! See you next week! Cheers, Caitlyn! Caitlyn and Joe! xoxo Caitlyn & Joe - Caitlyn's Dad, Joe Rogans Podcast by Night, Joe's Mom, Sarah Rogan Sarah Rogans & Joe's Dad's Mom's Mom and Joe's Wife, Joe's Brother, Sarah's Sister, Sarah, Jr. & Sarah's Brother's Brother Joe's Mother's Day Thanks, Joe & Sarah, Sr.'s Dad, Jr.'s Brother, Jake, Sr. , and Sarah's Girl's Sister's Day, Sr., Jr. & Sr. & Her Brother, Jr., Sr. . . . , and so much more! . . . & much more... , , etc., etc., and much more. ...and so on! , & so on, and so on & so much love, etc., ... Joes Podcast, Joes Talkin' Podcast, & so MUCH MORE!
00:01:15.000But if you're, oh my god, the worst is when you're in a relationship with someone, and you stop banging, and you know when you live with them, and then you fucking hear them come in, and you're like, oh, this motherfucker's here.1.00
00:02:03.000I mean, you hope that your marriage, that that person is intellectually curious enough and introspective enough that they want to grow, right?
00:06:19.000People don't like sports because they think of sports as being connected to jocks and assholes and bullies, but the reality is those difficult social interactions and then the physical struggle of athletics, especially one versus one athletics.
00:06:34.000There's so many life lessons in that.0.54
00:12:55.000If you're a single guy, you need a burner phone, a.k.a.0.88
00:12:58.000a hoe phone, and you don't give them your real phone number, and you hang out with them occasionally, and you frustrate them, and they talk shit about you in interviews, and that's fine.0.97
00:13:55.000And then real love, when you get married, is about, you know, your husband peeing on you in the shower and laughing or, like, trimming his beard in the sink.
00:14:03.000I think you're only talking about real love with Tommy.
00:14:40.000And like on being a good person, on being kind and understanding and considerate of you and your feelings and the way they talk to you.
00:14:47.000When you see people and like their spouse, like the man will insult the woman or the woman will insult the man, like that kind of relationship is so...0.81
00:15:18.000Like, we could all give in to the impulse, like you're annoyed at something.1.00
00:15:22.000Maybe you didn't get enough sleep, or you're tired, or you're hungover, or whatever, and someone's being annoying, like, shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot!1.00
00:16:38.000You know, I think that's the huge beauty of being like middle-aged now is you go like, oh dude, this whole thing, no one's giving a fuck about you.
00:17:48.000When people are so upset with their own life and they're so unsatisfied and unfulfilled and they start finding flaws in everything else, but generally speaking, a lot of that has to do with yourself.
00:17:58.000And I know personally when I'm most happy...
00:18:01.000With my output, if I'm worked out, I've stretched, I've meditated, everything's going great.
00:18:08.000I'm so much more compassionate and so much more caring about other people.
00:21:30.000They do that because they realize there's a certain level of comfort that we all have in a normal, functioning Western society where it's fairly good access to food as long as you keep your job, you can pay your rent.
00:22:42.000If it's a very small thing, like you can't get a table in a restaurant and you throw a hissy fit.
00:22:47.000Because that's the hardest thing that's happened to you today.1.00
00:22:49.000Because your life is easy as fuck.0.99
00:22:51.000But if you're coming from a communist country, and that's one of the things that I always liked about you, is because your family did come from that hard...1.00
00:23:02.000Or all this fucking Marxism and socialism and colleges, you know where that gets you?1.00
00:23:07.000That gets you to a communist fucking ruling dictatorship where you're doomed and the government decides how many potatoes you get in a week.0.99
00:23:38.000They're going to keep pushing the boundary because that's what the culture war is.1.00
00:23:42.000The culture war is just like we were talking about, you know, people that just decide to be upset at something rather than focusing on themselves.
00:23:49.000That's a lot of what the culture war is.
00:23:53.000The inside this is it their mental patients and they're externalizing their shit onto the world It's like what what is this and we're giving this a voice?0.99
00:24:03.000But think about yourself when you were in high school or you were in college when you were a feminist College college, you know that those thoughts but those thoughts like they're valid thoughts like you you're saying this because you see so much of the outside life that you don't like you see so much of like Women are being disrespected just simply because they're female or they're not being taken seriously because they're female.1.00
00:26:09.000But in this stupid world where everybody's just concentrating on material possessions and advancing and keeping up with the Joneses, that doesn't seem like for a lot of men, my wife does bad money.1.00
00:26:23.000You know, like they get into this sort of mindset where they don't respect that this is a completely different relationship with human beings.1.00
00:27:25.000Because if you do a terrible job in raising your children, on the flip side of that, you're going to have all sorts of chaos in your life because of that.
00:28:30.000You guys have a great relationship in that you don't have any career conflicts, and you also have one career, very successful thing that you do together, your mom's house.
00:28:42.000So because of that, it's such a cool gig.
00:29:39.000I mean, you, but here's what's, and I tell people about, I tell people this about you.0.99
00:29:44.000The brilliance of you, amongst many things, you're a very diligent worker, you're a great comedian, you're fucking in it, like you're doing, but that you've also been an early adapter.0.98
00:31:54.000Yeah, it was back in the day when you could do that kind of thing.
00:31:57.000You know, I don't know what kind of work you could actually do in your car today because cars today are so complex.
00:32:03.000They're all computers and there's, you know, so many, you know, there's navigation systems and there's fucking auto, you know, anti-lock breakings where it's braking like thousands of times a minute.
00:32:18.000Back then it was like real clear, like the rotors are down, let's change the rotors.
00:32:22.000We got this, we need to, you know, this radiator's no good, let's get another radiator.
00:32:25.000We would go to a junkyard, get parts, he would do that.
00:32:29.000And he would bring them back and we would work on cars.
00:32:32.000It was like one of our, it was also a thing where just because of human nature, it was an all guys class.
00:33:15.000Because now the muscle cars that I get, they're all what's called a resto mod.
00:33:20.000So they'll take an old car, but they'll put new brakes in it, new suspension, new engines.
00:33:27.000They handle better, you know, new steering components.
00:33:31.000They're much more safe and much more manageable in terms of day-to-day use, but they look and feel and sound just like an old car, which is what I love.
00:33:53.000You guys with your, you get your schmeckles hard looking at pictures of, that's why I say I'm like, Tom can't get a new wife but he can get a new car.
00:34:00.000And he loves, he doesn't scroll like chicks, he scrolls cars.
00:36:31.000I'm so thankful I can just say crazy shit to Tommy.0.99
00:36:33.000Well, because they haven't found the right person, instead they found a person and they've got the person to act like the right person.0.99
00:39:27.000But the reality show is the scary one because you let people into your family and then you're like, nah.0.96
00:39:33.000Play acting around your wife and your kids and your friend who comes over to play fucking pickleball with you and is like trying to make a thing out of a gamble that you have on pickleball.0.82
00:39:43.000And if you've ever been a part of one of those reality shows, they did one at the store for a while.0.99
00:39:53.000Yeah, but they had like these scenarios all planned out like we're gonna go to get something to lunch We're gonna go to get Mexican food, but the wait's too long We go to here and then we're gonna eventually settle on Chinese But Polly's gonna say Chinese first and then it's gonna go through all these different things until we eventually decide on Chinese It's like like what are you doing?
00:40:12.000But they they had to treat it like they would most of these people that produce these shows and I've worked on them before and They produce it the same way they would produce fiction.
00:40:20.000Like we'd like to have an outcome that we can control.
00:43:14.000When you watch those videos, like, it's a brilliant idea, by the way.
00:43:17.000What you guys did by coming up with this show where, and having watched them and be a part of them, been a part of them, there is not a fucking chance in hell you could do that in any other format.
00:44:19.000If you guys had bosses and you were on some sort of a network that controlled what was aired, and then you told them the story about the idea for the pay-per-view shows, we're going to do something that's literally illegal.0.99
00:44:34.000There's a guy that's going to staple his balls.1.00
00:44:36.000There's going to be a nail in his cock.1.00
00:46:46.000So it's like I've never had, there was never a time where I was like in some normal path to, you know, having a white picket fence and living in the suburbs and getting to work every morning, same time as everybody else and having office meetings.
00:48:45.000Yeah, whether it's conservative or whether it's liberal and progressive, it's like people, there's a lot of people out there that have good intentions, but then there's also a lot of people out there that just are, there's a predictable pattern of human behavior.
00:48:56.000And that pattern of human behavior is they like to tell other people what to do.
00:49:00.000And part of their fun is getting other people to comply and getting other people in trouble, getting other people fired.0.99
00:49:19.000The people that are doing that, the people that are always wanting to tell people what to do or always wanting to get people in trouble, they're never good at anything.
00:49:52.000It's a focusing on other people and trying to chip away at them or crack them down or get them to comply or get them to fall in line or get them to follow orders.
00:50:02.000There was a lot of that going on during the pandemic.
00:50:04.000People yelling at people to put a mask on.
00:55:19.000When you guys started coming out here, and then when Tony came out here, and Tim Dillon came out here, and a few other guys like Derek Poston, I was like, wow, I think we can fucking do something here.
00:55:31.000And Ron White was here, and Roseanne just did Vulcan the other night.
00:59:13.000Some people have families where people are just constantly in agony.0.95
00:59:19.000That's a fucking bummer when you have a friend and you go to visit them at the house and people yelling at each other and you gotta get them out the door.0.96
01:00:00.000I realized, to him, I think at the time I was in my 20s, I was like, to him, I'm a 28-year-old man, and I'm a man, and he's a kid still.0.99
01:00:09.000And I'm like, fuck, we're the same thing.0.95
01:00:11.000Then no one knows what's going on.0.99
01:00:12.000Everybody is a kid that just got older.1.00
01:00:15.000And when you're a little kid and you see adults, maybe your friend's dad's an alcoholic and he comes home screaming and the wife has to lock herself in the closet, that kind of shit.1.00
01:01:24.000Sex doesn't kill you, but it can severely distract you from all the other things you want to do and can be just, you could turn into a creep.0.68
01:03:24.000So what are the chances that that guy has personal sovereignty, a rigid foundation in understanding who he is and how he fits into the world?
01:04:50.000Like, you became famous, like, legitimately successful from a show you created yourself with no input from anyone whatsoever all on the internet.
01:05:00.000And I've been through all the iterations.
01:05:50.000They're going to put something on.0.76
01:05:51.000They want it to be creative, but not so creative that it possibly could get them fired and then they're going to fuck up their mortgage.0.69
01:08:45.000That's all I wanted was to be silly and have fun in life.0.97
01:08:48.000And that's all I wanted money for was to create silliness and to create fun and to spend too much money on an outfit that the Netflix executives would be upset about.
01:08:58.000And then I wanted a Frankie Goes to Hollywood song, Relax is on there.0.98
01:09:02.000And they're like, no, bitch, we're not paying for that.1.00
01:10:42.000Well, that's the thing I'm realizing is that it's like, it's just, I mean, over time with fame and da-da-da, you're like, oh, it's all smoke and mirrors.1.00
01:10:50.000It's all fucking, and the more you can just stick to what you enjoy doing, it's going to keep you grounded and have a family and enjoy normal things.1.00
01:13:58.000Well, that's because you're a perfectionist, and that's why you're good.
01:14:02.000You know, Letterman, I was obsessed with David Letterman, and I read a bio about him when I was 17. And it said that every time they were done taping, he would go watch the tape and then flog himself.
01:14:22.000Because it was a guy that was acutely aware of your attention span and wanted to do the very best at every chance and then was always analyzing whether or not he lived up to his own expectations.0.96
01:14:34.000Too many people are fucking happy with themselves.0.99
01:14:36.000That's why all this body positivity shit and...1.00
01:14:45.000Listen, you can tell me that fucking men have periods and it's not breastfeeding, it's chest feeding, but don't you take away my supermodels.1.00
01:14:53.000Don't you take away Naomi Campbell and Linda Evangelista.1.00
01:20:56.000In that, like, if you're a man, so you're an accountant, Bob the accountant, normal 35-year-old single man, and he meets this Down Syndrome Victoria Secrets model, and you hang out with her, and you're like, dude, she's surprisingly cool, and we just fuck like wild animals.0.98
01:21:14.000People would go, what are you talking about, Bob?0.99
01:21:17.000You are not having sex with a Down Syndrome woman.0.99
01:26:56.000You see a guy that's that fat, and you know they have sleep apnea, and they're just lying there with their big purple face, choking on their own tongue.0.90
01:29:11.000I believe that if the majority of people, of humans, are doing stuff, the utility would be to build society around what the majority are doing.
01:29:20.000So I think this way of thinking, we're like, well, no, but there's like two people that have this, so let's completely rearrange.
01:29:29.000And then to bully you into conformity, and if you don't, then you're hateful.
01:29:34.000I'm like, I'm not so sure that's accurate.
01:29:36.000It's happening so fast, and it's at such a rabid level.
01:29:43.000Sort of fever pitch of compliance.1.00
01:29:46.000I didn't want everyone to comply or you're a monster or you're a piece of shit or you're transphobic.1.00
01:29:51.000That to me, if I was removed from my own emotions and my own culture and I said, what is happening here?1.00
01:29:58.000Well, there's some sort of a process of getting people to stop being primates and stop being sexual and stop thinking about like normal Sort of biological gender representation,
01:30:13.000like X and Y chromosome equals male.0.51
01:30:17.000And it seems like, if I looked at something, what's happening, I'd go, there's some sort of a declining urgency of sexual orientation and even the ability to biologically reproduce by sex.
01:31:16.000She deals with the effects of the environment on people's reproductive systems and people's hormonal systems.
01:31:22.000And one of the things that she found was that phthalates, which come from plastics and a bunch of other pesticides in particular, a bunch of different things, chemicals from petrochemicals that have gotten into our bodies, Have diminished our penis sizes,
01:32:12.000So we're becoming genderless, strange sort of things biologically, but we're not recognizing it because they didn't even know that this...
01:32:22.000I think Dr. Shana Swan said it was 2015 when they first realized what was happening with phthalates and that phthalates were having this impact on the reproductive systems.
01:32:32.000That while women were pregnant, their exposure and the amount of phthalates they had in their blood was directly represented by the decreasing of the testosterone in the males, shrinking of the penis, shrinking of the testicles, and also big uptick in miscarriages for the females.
01:32:49.000So less viable, less sexual, less viable, less hormonal.
01:36:58.000You're watching a goofy ass movie about a weird fake world.0.98
01:37:04.000Where a guy can shoot a grappling hook to the top of a building and it pulls him up.0.99
01:37:09.000There's a lot that you just take for granted as nonsense.0.98
01:37:12.000The thing about Batman has always been that Batman was just a rich guy that had access to all this money so he could buy all this shit and do these things.0.99
01:46:11.000If you go on the trails, this is not real.1.00
01:46:13.000If you go on trails, hiking trails, you see people of all ethnicities and backgrounds.
01:46:18.000They're just enjoying nature together and it's a bonding experience for folks because there's something very humbling about walking Over the top of a hill and you're seeing a canyon and it's beautiful and you see people coming the other way and you're like, hey, what's up?
01:47:49.000Yeah, about how there's dead bodies on the way up there.
01:47:53.000And you're like, you have to have such incredible arrogance.
01:47:57.000Because it's so cold that they have to leave the dead bodies.
01:48:00.000So as you're walking up this trail to the top of this mountain, hoping to be one of the people that makes it, you get to look to the left and the right of you, and there's dead bodies.
01:50:03.000First of all, he loves being in nature, and I think there's this accomplishment thing that comes with being able to climb something with no ropes.
01:52:06.000They consulted with this anesthesiologist and they put an apparatus on the boys' faces to put them under anesthesia.
01:52:14.000And then the professional diver would take them through the cave very carefully out over like two or three hours while this kid was under anesthesia.
01:52:43.000Right, because if the kid freaks out, it kicks up dust.
01:52:45.000I had Donald Cerrone on my podcast, and he was cave diving with this guy, and the guy got his tube tangled, his rope tangled, and he freaked out and spazzed out, and he filled the cabin up with silt, and they couldn't see anymore, and he couldn't figure out how to get out.
01:56:11.000And you're like, oh, no, you either get more neurotic and you develop vices to cope, or you figure out your shit and you try to stay somewhat connected to reality.0.99
01:56:22.000There's a lot of smart people that are crazy as fuck.1.00
01:56:53.000I read this book in college by Hannah Arndt called The Banality of Evil.
01:56:58.000And they put Eichmann was on trial in Jerusalem, right?
01:57:03.000And she's like, you know, you would expect that Eichmann, who was what his PR guy, Hitler's PR guy is like second or third in charge.0.99
01:57:10.000Would be this malicious, evil, malignant piece of shit, but it turns out kind of a dope.0.98
01:57:17.000And that evil, you know, you're not really aware that you're doing it sometimes when you're doing it, is what the point of that whole thing was, if I'm recalling correctly.0.99
01:57:28.000Yeah, like, even now, like, if we go along with this culture of, like, I don't share the same opinion as you, you're a bad person, like, it's just an extension of that type of thinking.0.98
01:59:43.000You could actually probably do both at the same time if the gym lets you.
01:59:46.000But if you're one of them fitness people, you can get a few million followers on Instagram and then all of a sudden you're selling products.
02:02:53.000And you don't even have to write anymore.
02:02:54.000You can just press the voice thing and just start talking, and it'll transcribe what you're saying.
02:02:59.000oh yeah yeah did you know about that i could do that no i didn't know is it in your notes check this watch you go into your notes right okay here's notes i go like that i press that button get this and i press this and i say christina segura is a bad thank you get the yeah so you instantaneously have a note Yeah.
02:05:11.000So they're like, before the show, I just have it 100% dialed in in my head where there's no thought whatsoever about what I want to talk about.
02:06:11.000And I go, oh, I know that's the next bit, but I like index cards.
02:06:14.000The writing, the physical writing is different than the typing.
02:06:18.000But for getting down an idea, there's nothing better than the typing.
02:06:22.000What I do is write with a computer, and then I take it and I'll copy and paste it into something else, or whether it's Scrivener or whether it's Notes, and then I'll write it out when I'm going to do it on stage.
02:06:46.000There's some things where you go, okay, am I avoiding this because it's more work or am I avoiding it because it's unnecessary?
02:06:53.000And it's hard to figure out what's what sometimes because you kind of play games with yourself.
02:06:58.000But if I'm being honest with myself, the more work I do in terms of paying attention to it, writing it out, looking at it, the more the better.
02:07:06.000So the three-step process to coming up with the idea and then to writing it out like in a computer, like in Microsoft Word or something, to taking that and then writing that on a piece of paper.
02:09:49.000It's like one of the reasons why I got those folks that used to work at the Comedy Store to come work here in Austin is because I trust them.
02:10:27.000There's some sleazy fucking managers that are not just getting a piece of the standup career that they can enhance, but they're also getting a piece of the podcast.0.99
02:10:57.000Some managers will help you get guests, and they'll help do things, and they're business partners.
02:11:03.000They work with you, and they deserve a piece of the action.
02:11:06.000But that's not what most of them are doing.0.91
02:11:08.000What most of them are doing, they send you fucking auditions to some sitcom you don't really want to do, and they collect all your road money.0.98
02:11:22.000Because you are getting everything from you being more and more successful on podcasts and in your career growing and then putting stuff on YouTube and what have you and then eventually doing bigger and bigger theater shows and you still have the same manager who doesn't do a goddamn thing and tells you Full House is going to be,0.82
02:11:38.000you know, now that Saget's dead, they're looking for a guy.0.99
02:11:41.000You're like right about to go on stage in Denver like what the fuck are you talking about man?0.99
02:11:45.000And you can't believe you're paying that guy.0.99
02:14:43.000Remember when we were at the Vulcan and some stupid bitch popped off in the front and Tony just fucking hammered her and went after her?1.00
02:17:13.000But number two, and I think what was so valuable and so amazing about you...
02:17:19.000And watching you is that you have to see it in order to go, oh, I could fucking do that, too, until you see a successful comedian and you're like, oh, dude, oh, okay, that's the road.
02:18:29.000Really, we should be concentrated on trying to help this very fragile art form.
02:18:37.000I mean, there's more comics now than I think than ever because of the internet, because of shows like Kill Tony and all these shows where you get to see on people's Instagram pages them doing open mic sets.
02:20:12.000So what you're saying about this being a fragile art form, you're 100% accurate because there's no system other than the headliner bringing some lucky few along.
02:20:55.000And then you try to figure out how to become a national touring act.
02:21:00.000And there's like, you opened for this guy, opened up for Burt in Cincinnati, and you contact the club owner, and they see you, and they go, how much time do you have?
02:21:08.000You're like, well, I've done 45, but you really only have 30. Of course.
02:21:21.000Yeah, they're going to go, oh, we had him headlined and he didn't sell any tickets and he ate shit on stage and couldn't follow the middle act.0.99
02:21:27.000See, that's funny because I thought that was just me being like, oh, I'm a woman so I have to fucking kill because if I don't kill they're going to say, oh, it's because she's a girl and I put that added pressure.0.99
02:21:38.000100% there's an added difficulty level for females.
02:21:42.000I had this conversation back in the day with Judy Gold because I did this article for Playboy where I talked about it and I said it's harder for women.
02:21:48.000Anybody says it's not, you're not being honest.
02:21:50.000It's harder because men don't want to hear women talk about politics.0.80
02:21:54.000They don't want to hear them tell people what they should and shouldn't be doing.
02:21:57.000They don't want to hear them talking about sex.
02:22:01.000So you either have to be kind of gross, so when you talk about sex, it's funny, or you've got to be hot and you're luring people in with your sex jokes.0.98
02:26:29.000You have to try to get headliner gigs.
02:26:31.000You have to contact people or have a manager that contacts people.
02:26:34.000And you have to be able to put in the time at the clubs to develop a real act that you could actually sell as a headliner so that when you go and you do well, they want you to come again.
02:26:42.000You have to be able to do good on the radio.0.99
02:26:44.000You get in the morning radio and you come in and talk shit.1.00
02:29:08.000Yeah, and then Chappelle got assaulted that night, too.
02:29:10.000I'm like, What is happening, dude?0.99
02:29:12.000Los Angeles is a sketchy fucking place now.0.99
02:29:15.000And they're going to have to figure out how they can mitigate what they did during the pandemic and then the natural progression of homelessness and crime and defunding the police and all the chaos that came out of the George Floyd riots.0.99
02:30:06.000To recognize that there's inequality everywhere, and we have to take that into consideration when we're prosecuting people and arresting people.0.93
02:30:14.000Yes, sort of, but you also have to fucking stop crime.
02:30:17.000You can't allow people, because crime begets more crime.0.97
02:32:33.000So all the Texas Rangers are basically like...
02:32:35.000It's like the modern version of a Navy SEAL. They figured out how to infiltrate and be the most extreme badasses to overcome the Comanches.1.00
02:32:44.000And then they figured out the revolver.
02:32:47.000And the revolver was first thought to be a useless weapon.
02:33:45.000You know why they called it Comancheria?
02:33:46.000Because it was run by the Comanches.1.00
02:33:47.000So these fucking assholes, they'd give them these plots of land, they'd put up fences and everything, and the Comanches would come and slaughter everybody.1.00
02:33:53.000And then they would have to have a response for the Comanches slaughtering everybody, so then they would bring in the troops and attack them.1.00
02:33:58.000It wasn't that much different than what they do today.
02:36:45.000You've never seen a couple like that where the guys, they're in it.1.00
02:36:50.000It makes his dick hard to be with a woman who's crazy and then they fight and they fuck and they fight and they fuck and it's exciting.1.00
02:40:38.000Yeah, it's just a weird thing when someone starts to fuck around with the face and put like a little heart next to their cheek and like, hey, hey, hey!0.99
02:48:44.000But you have that contrast, and I think that's what's really important.
02:48:47.000And that's one of the things that does happen when you become a parent, is you recognize that you have to take care of these kids, these little beautiful human beings that you're intimately connected to.
02:49:00.000It's so much more important than everything else.
02:49:02.000So everything else, even though you have to focus on it and concentrate on it, you become disciplined and even more ambitious because of it, I think, for a lot of people, it's not as important.
02:50:13.000But you get better at being a person, and as you get better being a person, you shift your attention from needing validation and needing attention to getting better at what you do that you love.1.00
02:50:25.000And then your energy goes in a healthy place, and then it becomes getting better at your act, killing, better at putting together a special, better at podcasts.
02:53:15.000The sauna and the cold plunge and the workouts are so hard that when I get in here, like complicated subjects and, you know, whether or not people are going to be angry about your positions on things or that doesn't mean anything to me.
02:54:22.000Just do something together where you're physically active together and you just do some natural human stuff.0.94
02:54:29.000Play a little, have a little game, do something where you're out in the backyard or you're going for a walk around the neighborhood or just fucking do something together.0.92
02:55:52.000Because I'm not saying morons like they weren't intelligent, but they weren't good at talking to people.0.98
02:55:55.000And if you're going to be a professor, an effective professor, you have to be engaging.0.99
02:56:00.000You can't just relay the information because that sucks.0.99
02:56:03.000That's like a shitty comedian that just says the jokes and you have no delivery.0.98
02:56:07.000There's something to being a professor that you're persuading someone to be enthusiastic about a subject.0.97
02:56:15.000And some people don't have that in them.
02:56:16.000And if you go to school with most, and there's a lot of those people out there, unfortunately, and you go to school with them, you're like, boring, boring, boring, get me out.
02:56:25.000And then one day, you stumble upon a YouTube video where some guy is talking about black holes.0.99
02:56:30.000And he's engaged, and he's into it, and he's like, oh my god, I give a fuck about black holes.1.00
02:56:36.000Now I want to research black holes.0.99
02:56:38.000Well, there was a point in college or in high school where I was like, oh, the teacher's just telling me what's in the book.
02:56:44.000So why don't I just read the book and I'm not going to come to class?
02:56:47.000And I did that in college for one class I never even showed up to.
02:56:51.000And then I just read it and then I did fine.
02:57:28.000I had a science professor when I was in eighth grade, a science teacher, and I remember he said, you want to really hurt your brain, he goes, just go outside and look up.
02:57:39.000Look up and realize that that is infinity, and it just goes on forever.
02:57:44.000Just don't think about it for a second.
02:57:46.000Just keep thinking about how big it means to have no end.1.00
02:57:58.000And he was in a shit neighborhood, too.0.99
02:58:00.000That's when we lived in Jamaica Plain.0.99
02:58:01.000There was like 17-year-old kids in my school that would show up for like the first couple weeks and then drop out again because they had missed so many classes and they had failed so many years that they were 17 and they were in the eighth grade.
02:59:25.000And one time someone asked for a pencil, and he pulled the fucking drawer out of his desk and threw it across the room with the pencils in it.0.99
03:00:28.000And then there was another lady who was an anthropology teacher and she was fascinated by all the chimpanzee studies and all these different things that people were doing.
03:00:44.000And so there was this kid in class who was a high school football player who was a real ass kisser and he was like so obviously like sucking up to her to get better grades and so I drew a cartoon of him banging her monkey style.0.96
03:00:58.000I would get in the class early and I would draw them on the blackboard so that and then I would pull the screen down so that like behind the screen there would be a cartoon.0.92
03:02:09.000I think for me, because I studied philosophy and I love to read those books, and I look back at it really fondly because that's the only four years of my life, or actually five, I took a year off, where I could really just sit and think and smoke cigarettes and get weird and think about the world,
03:02:46.000The progressive nature of so many colleges.
03:02:49.000It's just like a natural inclination that young people have towards You know being charitable and kind and doing better than their parents did and stomping out Discrimination and all those things are like good instincts, but those good instincts sometimes prop up really fucking divisive and shitty behavior because you're limiting the way people can approach things So it's your way the highway and maybe someone is smarter than you and they have a different perspective That's the issue I take with all of this.
03:03:57.000Because the conservative liberals are the ones that want to blame, you know, white privilege and the reason why black people don't hike.0.95
03:04:04.000Whatever it is, you know, whatever crazy shit that they're involved in, in grievance studies.0.99
03:04:09.000I don't know if you ever paid attention to it, but Helen Pluckrose, James Lindsay, and Peter Boghossian out of the University of Portland.0.95
03:05:23.000But instead of recognizing that there's a real problem with these things, so much so that someone can make a parody and it's indistinguishable.
03:05:37.000It's also, the way that they reviewed it, they must have been so accepting that they didn't even realize that the amount of time that he said he watched dogs fuck at a dog park is physically impossible.0.98
03:12:08.000Because when I was in the 90s, I was so scared.
03:12:11.000I thought of times that I had sex without a condom on the road, like if I had gotten someone that had HIV, and they gave it to me, and I didn't even know, and it has a 10-year incubation period.
03:14:09.000They think when they're cutting up monkeys for bush meat, and they do do that, that they might have had a nick in their hand or get the blood in their hand.
03:14:19.000If you're living in the jungle, you get scratches all over you, right?
03:14:22.000If you get blood from this HIV-infected monkey on those scratches, that was one of the theories.1.00
03:14:28.000But what about the gay flight attendant who had butt sex with the monkey?1.00
03:14:42.000There's so much cum in his stomach.0.99
03:14:43.000Can you imagine how much you have to hate somebody to spread that rumor?1.00
03:14:47.000And then you've got to go on the radio and go, I just want to let everybody know I did not suck all those cocks and have to get me fucking stomach pumped.1.00
03:15:35.000There's a song called When Liberace Winks at Me, and it was like a famous song where a woman was singing, and Liberace was just playing the piano, and he would look over at her and wink, and she would like...
03:15:48.000So it was like her pretending that she was in love with Liberace.
03:15:54.000She's this giant fan of Liberace, and Liberace pretending that he's seducing her.
03:26:01.000Like, all my old school gay friends, like people my age that I've grown up with, I'll be like, what do you think about this whole gender stuff?1.00
03:28:09.000There's geysers you can time because there's so much volcanic activity that the water shoots up at the specific amount of these increments.
03:29:20.000You literally have to be living on New Zealand with some sort of a supply of food.
03:29:26.000Those kind of things, they don't just kill people.0.51
03:29:28.000They send the planet into nuclear winter.0.97
03:29:32.000So they stop all the sunlight from coming in so the temperatures drop and then food doesn't grow and you have massive famines and it takes years for the shit to come out of the sky.0.98
03:29:45.000I think about, and especially because I watched when Elon, when he's on here, and he's like, we're going to go to space because we have to go to the next thing because Earth will be, it's fragile.
03:31:06.000Some of them are great and some of them are only doing that job because most smart people don't want it.1.00
03:31:13.000If you had all the people that are working as CEOs and engineers and all these really brilliant people, if they wanted to be president, they'd have a far better argument than most of these dullards, most of these fucking weirdos.0.99
03:31:26.000There's a political class of people in this country that are basically bad actors.1.00
03:31:34.000They're weirdos with like fake stances on things and they have these weird outbursts on Twitter and they're just fucking strange people, man.1.00
03:31:44.000And they're out there and they're running at least part of how the cultural conversation takes place.0.99
03:32:34.000Yeah, well, they start their own businesses.
03:32:36.000They don't want to invest in this broken-ass system and have a bunch of people lie about them and have this bizarre cult of personality ritual takes place where you're literally having a popularity contest to see who runs the city.1.00