In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, the boys talk about the Fleshlight and how it's a great product to have in your vagina. Also, we talk about how to get your money back if you don't like it.
00:00:36.000Because you don't want to have to listen to two annoying chicks talk just so that you can stick something inside of them and release some pressure.
00:00:46.000What you don't need is, you know, there's wonderful sex to be had with people that you actually care about, with people that you actually enjoy, with, you know, a chick that you really get into, a sexy girl.
00:00:57.000Girls love boys and boys love girls and let's make it happen.
00:01:00.000But sometimes you're a prisoner to your own cock and balls.
00:01:04.000And that's where the fleshlight comes.
00:03:07.000There are tons of studies done, and all of them point to the fact that there's some cognitive enhancement to be found with using some supplements, certain supplements.
00:03:17.000Different people have different reactions to different ones.
00:03:36.000I really will because I'm far more concerned with no one feeling ripped off or obligated to buy any of this shit than I am with making any money.
00:03:56.000Also, we make alpha, besides just Alpha Brand, we also make Shroom Tech Sport, which is an awesome supplement for anybody who's into working out really hard.
00:04:04.000If you're just sort of a couch potato type character, please avoid this supplement.
00:04:09.000But for anybody that's into like CrossFit or anything fucking crazy, you're doing kettlebell classes, you're manly, you're carrying wood, you're fucking chopping logs, bailing hay, taking your girl from behind, that kind of stuff.
00:04:21.000Yeah, for a man who wants that extra edge, just an extra 15 seconds of fury, whatever the fuck it's going to give you, try that.
00:04:55.000Are these Schroome Techs, they're mushrooms?
00:04:57.000Yes, it's all based on, there's two different mushrooms, the cordyceps mushrooms, and one of them, the other one, I'm not sure what the fuck is.
00:05:02.000Did you see the lecture on TED called How Mushrooms Could Save the World?
00:05:50.000And since you're traveling a lot, the great thing about Alpha Brain, my favorite thing to use it for, besides right before shows, is I love using it.
00:05:59.000This is the Alpha Brain that we sell in the UK.
00:07:58.000Tell you what, I was impressed with Carlos Conet's endurance, too.
00:08:00.000But when I watched the fight, when I was there live, this is really interesting, too, because when you watch it live, when I'm doing commentary, I'm there, but I got a very peculiar angle.
00:08:10.000It's a great seat, don't get me wrong, but basically everyone's feet are right where my eyeballs are, and then there's a cage in front of me.
00:08:16.000So you're actually better off watching it at home.
00:08:19.000You have a better seat at home with the, with a, you have a big screen TV.
00:08:23.000You get a better view of the fights than I do, which is crazy.
00:12:33.000Carlos is actually pounding on him at the very last seconds.
00:12:35.000Took a shot at him, and they actually were in some sort of a scramble where their legs were locked up in like a 50-50.
00:12:40.000But the bottom line is when I watched it at home, I gave Nick Diaz round one, round two, and round five.
00:12:46.000So at home, when I watched it, I thought Nick Diaz won the fight.
00:12:49.000Live out of the cage, I thought Carlos Connet might have edged him.
00:12:53.000I didn't, you know, when you're doing commentary, you know, people always say like, oh, you know, like, you know, like you're watching it and, you know, you're right there, and you're talking about it.
00:13:04.000That's just as good as a guy who's judging it, but it's really not.
00:13:07.000When you're judging a fight, you should shut your fucking mouth.
00:13:10.000You shouldn't be talking right when I'm talking, I'm doing commentary.
00:13:13.000I'm trying to explain things to people, and my mind-the way my mind is working-like, I'm explaining, I'm trying to explain footwork and angles, I'm trying to explain positions when they go to the ground, especially.
00:13:23.000I'm trying to like, you know, if you're there with your dad and your dad doesn't know what's he's gonna, what's going on right here, these guys getting queer with each other, you know, I'm there to explain.
00:13:30.000I'm there to go, no, no, no, the right arm is the choking arm.
00:13:33.000They're like, oh, yeah, oh, I see what he's doing there with that right arm.
00:13:35.000He's sneaking it under his chin there.
00:13:47.000First of all, now thinking today after watching this big country for Doom thing, not only should the judges have monitors, that's all they should be watching.
00:13:56.000They shouldn't even be watching the fight.
00:13:57.000You should have the judges, they don't even have to be in the same room.
00:13:59.000The judges don't even have to be cage-side.
00:14:01.000The judges should be in front of a giant-ass fucking TV.
00:14:03.000On a waterbed in a dark room with lava lamps and just having a good time to get it.
00:14:07.000Just put a camera on them to make sure they're not beating off.
00:14:10.000That'd be weird if you look over and you're like, why are you beating off to the fight?
00:14:14.000But Dana White said today that it might be possible for Conda to fight Nick Diaz again before GSP's ready.
00:15:11.000There's no way you can push yourself the way he pushes himself, like cardio-wise, without being aware of the benefits of that and calculating the benefits of that.
00:15:18.000So if you've got a guy who's willing to do something, if you got a guy who's willing to do something that extreme because he knows there's a benefit in it, you don't think he would talk shit because there's a benefit in that psychologically?
00:15:29.000You know, people judge him by that, like, oh, he's a thug.
00:15:36.000If you're in a fight with somebody, man, and you hate that guy, then you're all tense and you're fucking swinging for the fences and you're making mistakes and you can't bear to think of this dude beating your ass.
00:16:34.000And he was super cool after the fight was over, you know?
00:16:36.000Even though he thought that he lost a decision.
00:16:38.000I'll tell you what, man, I did not know, man.
00:16:40.000It's one of those fights, like I said, where after it was over, I was like, man, I can't wait to watch this one again.
00:16:44.000Because I looked at my Twitter feed immediately, and the Twitter feed was half of it with Condas kicked his ass, half of it was Diaz was robbed.
00:16:52.000And there were so many fighters that said the same thing.
00:16:54.000It was really a very interesting fight.
00:16:56.000It comes down to philosophy too, doesn't it?
00:20:34.000you bet him how much i bet him 50 bucks i said hey dude we were talking to me you were that confident why didn't you oh i know i know i know how unhairy my asshole is i have no hair there congratulations like i am uh why don't you go for like a thousand or something nuts i uh i couldn't do it i like the guy mountain he's one of my friends yeah but you know what i took the 50.
00:22:38.000So the bear's running after the fucking baboon and I, and I, we're running, he comes running in and he runs in and Jimmy is fucking on all hands and knees, no clothes on.
00:22:47.000He's got his ass all peeled and he's going, please fuck me, Jerry.
00:23:27.000And he's the happiest guy on the planet.
00:23:27.000I did a one man show back in 1997 and at that point in my life I had saved 15 years of phone messages.
00:23:35.000I did a one man show and I did because I thought my friend Herbie was dying from throat cancer and I wanted to save every message and he would call up.
00:24:45.000The guy, the guy that's fucking you on the football field, and he's trying to beat you up, that huge guy, and you're going, she's pissed at me.
00:24:50.000Look at her titties, getting all twisted up.
00:25:22.000No, that was when I was, the fucking guy plays the message, I leave, without my permission, he leaves, in his one-man show?
00:25:28.000Yeah, he said, he plays the message, I leave a message on his machine, which was this, because I'm, there's this girl I liked, and she went to Harvard, and I wanted to bang her, right?
00:25:36.000So I'm a fuck loser boy over here, I knew she was really educated.
00:25:40.000She'd say stuff like, well, as you know in King Lear, when in act three, I'd be like, oh, geez, because she thought I was an actor, I knew Shakespeare.
00:25:48.000So, so I go, so I go, So I know she's coming over.
00:25:52.000so what so so yoker boy over here this is what i do i go fuck she's a reader so i take all the books off my shelf and i start laying them around the room books i haven't even read like let me tell you this before i'm going to interrupt you right Because when I first met Brian, I just did Mad TV.
00:27:01.000You know, you said sex addict, and that puts a negative connotation to it.
00:27:03.000But what no one is going to understand, no woman is ever going to understand is the effect of testosterone and the reality that we have these fucking bodies that are designed to make babies every 10 minutes because jaguars were eating them.
00:27:25.000They get to the point where, like, maybe we should think someday about having a baby and then a year from now, your balls are swollen and you're ready.
00:27:39.000And if you're not jerking, plug to the fleshlight.
00:27:41.000If you're not using something like the fleshlight, if you're not jerking off, if you're not constantly draining your balls, you will get distorted.
00:28:30.000And one of the things a lot of young people, a lot of young guys listen to this, and I always say, the only advice I give people is just figure out where to place your energy.
00:32:21.000But when we were talking, one of the things that came up amongst Jimmy's friends was that, you know, you're a bus and truck version of Jimmy Burke.
00:34:24.000I do it when I lived in Iowa, you know.
00:34:26.000You were just so authentically New York, and I was so fascinated with the way the dude, the way he talks and tells stories and how and he's the only person that's ever pointed that out to me in my life.
00:34:36.000I mean, because everybody else is from New York, and that's the way we all.
00:34:40.000Isn't it amazing that there's one good thing that comes out of sticking that many fucking people in one place, that you get these extreme characters that just don't exist in the heartland?
00:36:53.000I wanted to do that again because there was a thing called Say Now and Say Now is pretty badass, but Google bought them.
00:36:58.000And what Say Now was was say if you would start it up, I would start it up and I would start accepting calls from fans.
00:37:04.000So I tweet, my say now line is now on.
00:37:08.000So people would call me up and say, like, if you're calling me and you and I are talking, there's 10 people on hold and they're all listening.
00:37:19.000Me and Ari Shafir were like in the car in traffic on the way to a gig somewhere.
00:37:23.000And we just handed the phone back and forth to each other.
00:37:26.000And we had like this crazy like two-hour phone conversation with all these people.
00:37:30.000I love doing that because, you know, and I get my number out on the road sometimes when I'm there and I go, somebody wants to come to a show and I go, and I like them and they're just good people.
00:43:23.000So anyway, they come in right next to us and they're having drinks and they're kind of, you can see that they are not, they're not there to have a good time.
00:43:41.000The minute you turn, he steps in front of Jimmy and starts, the huge guy is right, literally almost touching his girlfriend, looking down at her, trying to pick her up.
00:43:50.000Jimmy turns, he walks, he just bumps Jimmy out of the way and goes, what's up, man?
00:47:45.000Guy goes, guy with his two fucking rough dudes, they just kind of go back and he goes, by the end of the night, he's rubbing Jimmy's shoulders and buying us drinks.
00:48:22.000So you were just in a most, this is really an in-depth psychological study on Brian Callum, because at some point in time in your life, you would just make up fucking bullshit at the drop of a hat to get yourself out of the middle.
00:48:31.000If a man I can get laid, or if a man I get out of getting knifed, I'm fucking, I'm on it.
00:48:37.000So I don't want to get knifed, but I do want to get laid.
00:48:39.000I'll lie in both those situations through my teeth.
00:48:41.000And I'll come up with a, but it's, yeah, that's not just lie.
00:49:52.000Like, dude, I used to be able to rattle off to you all of Marvin Hagler's opponents.
00:49:56.000Back in the day, I was a big Marvin Hagler fan.
00:49:59.000If you ran into me in like 1984, I would have been able told you everybody from Bernie Briscoe to fucking, I would have told you Mustafa Hamshow.
00:50:14.000No, but that's one of the fascinating things about boxing is that Hagler today, if you put Marvin Hagler in 160-pound division today, he would still be storming through dudes.
00:50:23.000But there's not a martial artist alive from 1983 that would be able to compete with the 2012 guys.
00:50:39.000His jujitsu just does not compare to the jujitsu of his, even his nephew, Hadra Gracie, I think it's his nephew, or Marcelo Garcia, or, you know, the highest level guys.
00:54:10.000If Mike Tyson slams that fucking right hand that he put Larry Holmes to sleep with, or the ones where he would throw that right to the body and then that right uppercut where he crumpled Marvis Frazier, he was on another planet, man.
00:54:44.000And it's just, like in the clinch, because Aleister throws those fucking horrifying knees from the clinch because he's so goddamn big.
00:54:50.000So if he can get a hold of you, that 265 pounds, all that muscle and that fury and the fucking acceleration, that knee slamming your organs, boom.
00:54:59.000There's just, you can't, you can't, there's no doubt about it.
00:55:02.000When that guy got bigger, he got better.
00:55:04.000But in boxing, I don't necessarily think that's true.
00:55:07.000I think there's a speed loss when you have too much mass moving around.
00:55:23.000But you know, when Tyson was in his prime, he fought guys like Razor Ruddock and knocked him, hit him in the head, forehead, and knocked him.
00:55:29.000He was in a sitting position through the air.
01:02:19.000We're all alcoholics in one way or another.
01:02:21.000Well, that's a weird thing about human progress and about just the human mind, in order to get really good at something, must become addicted.
01:02:31.000I knew this early on, the madness of martial arts.
01:02:34.000You know, when I became completely obsessed with martial arts, when I was winning all these tournaments and shit when I was a young teenager, I knew that ultimately this is like kind of self-destructive.
01:02:46.000That ultimately this is the same thing as being someone who's a cocaine addict or addicted to gambling.
01:03:06.000Because all I was doing is although, although I do think that there is a fundamental distinction.
01:03:13.000And that fundamental distinction is when you throw yourself into something like martial arts that intensely, it's very different than what you consider a regular addiction.
01:03:22.000In that, you have to come up against your own shortcomings to get better.
01:03:28.000You've got to be very honest with yourself and work on what you're not good at, train when you don't want to train, train through plateaus, and you get very familiar with what it takes to accomplish something and to keep accomplishing and get better.
01:03:42.000And then you can learn to take that particular experience and that paradigm and apply it to everything else.
01:04:24.000Look at his, because if you're a scientist from outer space, how would you look at this?
01:04:28.000Oh, well, this guy's good at kicking people in the head because he's got some crazy addiction.
01:04:31.000I couldn't even go to dinner with you.
01:04:34.000If I was out having dinner with someone or watching a movie that was about squirrels, all I was thinking about is kicking people in the face.
01:04:42.000All I was thinking about is slip that shot and then boom, counter and move to the left and set them up with this.
01:04:47.000That's all I was thinking about all day.
01:06:01.000But, you know, that's, and they play and they play all night, and then it's like it goes on, and Jackie Gleason goes in, washes his hands and his face, comes back out, puts on a new shirt.
01:07:31.000What lasts is managing your self-image.
01:07:34.000So you have to learn how to talk to yourself the right way.
01:07:38.000So most people have negative, especially you become an athlete.
01:07:41.000And if you've got a lot to lose, like you're going for the belt or you have the belt or whatever, you will sabotage yourself if you don't know how to talk to yourself and ask yourself positive questions.
01:07:48.000Because most people ask themselves negative questions, right?
01:09:11.000And when you're in a bad spot, you're going to have questions.
01:09:14.000You know, I remember there's always a difference, a huge difference between when I was in really good shape and I knew that I trained really hard and when I would take things like last-minute notice, I would fight in tournaments.
01:10:17.000But if that was a telephone pole with a glove on the end of it, and it just thumped you in the fucking face from 10 inches like that punch did, it would knock you the fuck out, okay?
01:10:27.000Well, George Foreman was 300 pounds with a giant canned ham for a fist, except it's got giant bones inside of it, like a hippo knee, and it fucking slams you in the jaw.
01:11:35.000He fucked up when he went up to heavyweight and when he went up to, he fought John Ruiz, put on the performance of a lifetime, just shut John Ruiz out as a heavyweight.
01:12:45.000And then when you're not used to that, when you're used to being the guy who is chicken fighting and standing in front of a guy and just blasting out.
01:12:51.000Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I thought he was dead.
01:14:21.000If you just Google Bernard Hopkins is a bad motherfucker.
01:14:25.000That's the name of the article because it was just, I was so blown away by this guy in his late 40s who's taking on this knockout artist from the rough and tumble streets of, I think it was like where's he from?
01:15:01.000But he was another one that they said was really talented, didn't quite train as hard as he should have because he was so talented and he wound up getting knocked out a few times.
01:18:38.000Well, you know, there's still, I am always, you know, look, I'm always pretty critical about a lot of things in MMA.
01:18:46.000But, you know, I'm pretty honest about it.
01:18:48.000But one of the most, the aspects of MMA that's the least evolved is the striking.
01:18:54.000And there's a reason why a guy like Nick Diaz could come in there and just fucking box people up.
01:18:58.000Because no one is, first of all, he's got a very unique style that's all his own, and he's figured out how to do that.
01:19:04.000That style of boxing for MMA is pretty fucking effective.
01:19:08.000But when you look at like the high-level strikers and other organizations, you're simply not seeing that in MMA yet.
01:19:13.000And that's why there's a new kid that just came in and fought in this last UFC, the first fight of the night, actually, Stephen Wonderboy Thompson.
01:20:31.000I have no business talking to you about fighting.
01:20:33.000I'm a pussy, but I did do Taekwondo, and I have friends that can kick better than anybody you've ever seen.
01:20:37.000I go, just go to my school, and you'll be amazed.
01:20:41.000Well, dude, I fucking sat down with George St. Pierre, and I was amazed that he would listen to me when he was like, I need someone to teach me to spinning back kick.
01:21:32.000That's why guys like Rory McDonald, and there's young guys who are, if you can float between camps, like if you can just learn, but it's really hard.
01:22:22.000Yeah, but I think also like striking, if you had to choose, it seems like you would choose to be a striker first.
01:22:30.000You learn as a kid, and then you get really good at striking, and then you can really become a, like, if you put 10 years or five, six years as an adult into jiu-jitsu, you can get, depending on who you are.
01:22:40.000But these athletes can get really good.
01:23:21.000But my buddy's a pro boxer, and he said, the way you get really good at being able to slip punches and get really comfortable with that kind of speed and that timing is when you start when you're seven and you can catch and you learn how to catch punches like jabs on your forehead and all that, you've got to start as a kid because kids can't hurt each other.
01:26:22.000Because at least I think you can teach a kid how important it is not to get hit in the head and use good fundamentals and work with a good fucking coach that's not going to throw you to the wolves and get you beat up.
01:26:31.000You got to look at your brain as a time card.
01:26:34.000You have only so many holes you can get punched.
01:34:26.000When guys fucking say they got married, guys go, oh.
01:34:30.000I know guys who have kids who live with their girlfriend and they have no intention of getting married and the girl, like, there's always like a thing.
01:34:38.000No matter how much they love each other and how much they're together all the time and they just obviously have an amazing bond.
01:36:02.000Well, my biggest thing is that women would seem really, if there's a problem, women will just want to air it out and cry and just be heard.
01:36:09.000Whereas I want to go, I want to fix the fucking problem.
01:42:02.000And he's like, yeah, and I'm an entertainer.
01:42:04.000Nobody respects my opinion, so I'm not going to give my opinion.
01:42:06.000But she was so upset at these guys getting blown up, like in the beginning of the war, that she fucking, she spent a fortune sending them hockey, body armor.
01:42:36.000How much of this is the kid just didn't get enough love and attention because mom was a fucking superstar jeting all over the globe, you know, sucking Greg Allman's dick and just wasn't there.
01:42:45.000How many psychic, I don't know either, but when I'm hearing this story, the kid wants cheeseburgers and she's a little kid and she's fat, you know, and her mom screamed at her, you can't have cheeseburgers.
01:42:54.000There's a certain rebellion, you know, my kid needed.
01:42:58.000It's a glamour icon and your mom is this fucking really famous sexy woman and you're this little blob and you're trying to sneak in cheeseburgers and your mom's screaming at you and you're hating your life and you wish you were a dude.
01:45:04.000Yeah, a guy who really knows how to drive can drive so much faster than a guy who doesn't know how to drive.
01:45:09.000And what's up with the, like, like, I almost played the game Drive Today with my girlfriend, like, where we talk to each other and then we just wait 30 seconds until we monally respond.
01:45:55.000You know, where they have this weird way of talking.
01:45:59.000Yeah, and they also, they don't get all wired up about stuff.
01:46:02.000They're like real monotone about shit.
01:46:04.000And then they go out there and fucking throw down.
01:46:06.000On sports science, on sports science, they hooked up a lot of the really famous athletes to like in really high-pressure situations, like in games.
01:46:14.000And they found that their heart rate stays exactly the same.
01:46:18.000A lot of it's just this natural ability to stay calm under fire.
01:46:25.000And that's why whenever they ask like a physical genius to explain what was going on in your head during the game, they're really, they never can explain it.
01:46:33.000They can never like, they just say, well, we're just trying to get the ball in the end zone.
01:47:54.000It was always trying to make Jewish movies.
01:47:57.000For the history of the organized crime, there have always been Jewish people that have been involved from Meyer Lansky, who was one of the original gangsters, because he's a smart guy and he wanted to make a lot of money.
01:48:07.000Jews have a long history in organized crime.
01:48:36.000This is the first, I think this is the first time that if you have a PlayStation, you can now go into a virtual world and watch this podcast right now in movie theater number three.
01:48:46.000They're just airing our podcast in PlayStation Home on PlayStation Network.
01:50:36.000I was like, dude, you just showed my fucking grandmother, my mother, the most fucking launching porn, acting like, and he acted like it was a mistake and stuff.
01:50:44.000You're completely removed from the digital experience, aren't you?
01:51:25.000Well, because I live in a world where you have to make choices about do you want to pay your rent this month or do you want to have a new computer or hopefully somebody will get you one.
01:53:33.000This is what Brian and I always say about you.
01:53:35.000Brian and I always talk about how hilarious you are, how funny you are, how what a great entertainer you are.
01:53:40.000You're always peripherally involved in show business, but yet you choose to stay in New York and not have a cell phone and ride your bike around and not get into the hunt and not act.
01:53:50.000But when you say things like, you know, I live in a world where I have to choose between eating or getting a new computer.
01:59:11.000I said to my girlfriend at the time, I said, listen, you're going to go up and hopefully there'll be a table open up there, up near the front.
01:59:20.000And I just want you to sit down because I want you to start to heckle me when I start to do my JFK Dallas portion of my recollection thing.
02:00:19.000It's actually kind of working a little bit.
02:00:22.000So then I go into my, you know, if you believe in Pavlov's theory, you know, the ringing of the bell for the dog and the dog starts to salivate.
02:00:30.000I was thinking about the guy who back in 1962, 1963, was in his kitchen getting blowjob, a really hot, sexy blowjob.
02:00:40.000And over the radio, his little transistor radio radio.
02:02:52.000I wrote down the set because I've never fucking done standards.
02:02:54.000Well, if you were on Slipper, I would say once you put that online, it would be fun for people to look at, but you're removed from the cultural experience with your 56k modem.
02:04:29.000Well, if you ever, if you ever, it's fascinating because you could control the sources of media because they weren't everywhere.
02:04:34.000And so what would happen was like LBJ, Linda Mee Johnson during the Vietnam War, he would, you can, in his tapes, you can hear him talking to the editors of these big newspapers and just saying, can you do me a favor?
02:04:47.000Can you please delay publication of that story?
02:04:50.000Because I'm trying to do some sensitive work here in Vietnam and you'll expose some soldiers and the name.
02:04:55.000And it's amazing how he charmed these guys into delaying a story.
02:05:03.000The argument behind the WikiLeaks thing is this guy, you're saying he's not a journalist.
02:05:07.000Well, I'm saying he's the only one that's a fucking journalist.
02:05:09.000Because all these other assholes wouldn't have released it.
02:05:12.000If you gave that information to the New York Times, you gave the New York Times the video of that fucking Apache helicopter gunning down those people in the street and making light of the fact that they brought their kids.
02:05:24.000That would have never been fucking revealed.
02:05:27.000They would have stepped back and they would have looked at their corporate interest and looked at the access they have to sensitive information.
02:05:34.000There's also a law, there was a law passed, and I believe it was World War II, it might have been World War I, where you're not allowed to post pictures, gory pictures of what really happens to soldiers.
02:05:46.000Because the truth is, when you get shot with big caliber guns, you come apart.
02:07:26.000It's so hard to hear American soldiers that are that fucking hardened by it all and removed and callous to the idea that they're, you know, they're.
02:07:34.000Well, they're looking at, you know, a lot of those guys, if they were insurgents and they had the intelligence that said they were and they just pulled off whatever they pulled off, you get, you do, you get angry.
02:07:45.000I mean, it's, it's just, I mean, war is hell, but it's like people were so, it was so filtered by the time it got to America, you know, through the mass media.
02:09:03.000Because they're such a repressive society.
02:09:05.000And because they were humiliated, and because they were Nazis, and because they watched their fucking family members get gunned down, and everybody just blew fuses left and right and started eating shit.
02:10:12.000Yeah, it's been staying steady at 113, and then out of nowhere today, it just went to 164.
02:10:17.000You know, I've talked to people, I've talked, well, when we talked to Shane, Shane Smith from Vice.com, who was telling us how it's so much worse than the Japanese government is letting on, how he was over there.
02:10:29.000And, you know, the people that radiated food in Tokyo and people are getting what we Brian and I are going.
02:11:01.000It's because they want to keep the economy moving.
02:11:02.000Chao Sunnam was telling me that his buddy Yushinokami, who lives in Japan, they're bringing Geiger counters and they're testing their food.
02:11:10.000And the food is fucking registering in supermarkets and places where it's radiated.
02:11:14.000I mean, what they've essentially done is they've created a sun that you can't put out and it's in a field and there's nothing you can do about it.
02:12:06.000This spot will, we're going to have to somehow or another figure out a way to warn future civilizations if there's a mass die-off.
02:12:12.000Because if something happens to us, whether it's disease or shifting of the polar ice caps or a fucking meteor or human stupidity, and we kill a bunch of people with a fucking crazy virus that someone develops, like have you heard of this fucking crazy flu virus?
02:12:25.000They developed a prototype flu virus to see if it was possible to do, and it's fucking unbelievably deadly.
02:12:32.000And they said that if it got out, it would kill half the population.
02:12:35.000Literally kill half the people that caught it.
02:12:37.00050% of the people that catch it, they made it in a lab.
02:12:59.000And unfortunately, for the same reason why nuclear bombs were created, human beings, when they get involved in any sort of a science, any sort of a discipline, you will want to push that discipline to its highest levels.
02:13:12.000And if you're creating new things, whether it's new nuclear programs and power and fuel sources and propulsion systems, you're eventually going to come up with the ultimate weapon.
02:13:30.000And essentially that exists in biowarfare as well.
02:13:33.000If you are a scientist and your specialty is, you know, retroviruses or creating things or manipulating viruses or creating vaccines, and somehow or another you get into the grips of the federal government and the war machine and they say, listen, is it possible?
02:14:07.000The CIA was actively trying to figure out if it was possible for them to make a bomb that would cause men to be uncontrollably sexually attracted to each other.
02:14:20.000And the idea was, you know, they looked at like ecstasy.
02:14:22.000And you give people ecstasy and you're like, wow, look at this.
02:14:25.000Everyone's all affectionate and loving.
02:14:28.000What if we found out what makes you gay?
02:15:43.000Oppenheimer, there's a famous, I guess, video I'm seeing of him crying or, you know, just kind of overcome with emotion over what he told me.
02:15:52.000Well, he quoted the Bhagavad Gita as they blew up the first nuclear bomb.
02:15:57.000I am become death, destroyer of worlds.
02:15:59.000And they're like, what the fuck are you saying?
02:16:07.000Pull that up because it's really fascinating to hear him talk about it.
02:16:09.000When you hear actually Oppenheimer, you hear him say it in his own words.
02:16:13.000He quotes it, and you can feel that you could feel the responsibility of a man who's directly responsible for killing half a million people.
02:16:21.000Yet at the same time, it also ended the war.
02:16:47.000Colonel Tibbetts was the people came in and they said, How can you have a weapon of destruction like that, something that killed that many people that quickly?
02:16:53.000And he said, Well, if you notice, there's also a red bonnet around it.
02:16:57.000He said, Well, that red bonnet actually, that belonged to a little child who had rickets because she couldn't get enough calcium and she was dying.
02:17:03.000But after that bomb was dropped, four days later, the intern, the concentration camp that she was kept in was liberated because she was a little girl.
02:17:14.000And that little girl ended up being my wife, who then gave me children.
02:17:18.000So I actually like this fucking plane because it saved my wife's life, and I have two beautiful children.
02:17:26.000But by the way, there's a large argument among historians where they believe that Japan had been trying to quit and concede victory for two weeks before we dropped the bombs.
02:17:36.000That is why we wanted to drop those bombs anyway.
02:17:38.000And there's just as much and more evidence on the other side that suggests that Japan was not going to quit, and in fact, it was going to cost up to 2 million American lives to storm Japan.
02:17:58.000You also know that they were goaded into attacking Pearl Harbor.
02:18:01.000And in fact, we knew they were defending Pharaoh.
02:18:02.000We don't know Pearl Harbor, and I disagree with that.
02:18:04.000The fucking History Channel, they had professors from three different universities that were standing up there talking about how they had decoded all this information.
02:18:12.000They knew Japan was going to, that's why they pulled out these battleships.
02:18:22.000No, and it's professors who say that are simply, are simply theorizing.
02:18:27.000And if you listen to the, I've been listening to this argument for 25 years.
02:18:32.000If you actually look at the current literature, my father just read a book about this, had a long talk with him.
02:18:36.000You look at the current literature, that theory has simply been debunked.
02:18:41.000There is no way the United States lost a quarter of our navy, a quarter of the Navy was crippled because of that aggression.
02:18:51.000Now, there was a lot of internal debate in Japan about whether or not to go to war.
02:18:55.000But the fact of the matter is that Japan not only started that war back, talk to the Chinese about what Japan, that they've never still never apologized for.
02:19:05.000They've never apologized for anything they did in World War II to this day.
02:19:09.000And that's what Japan has never lived up to.
02:19:11.000And they should be ashamed of themselves because their behavior in World War II was not only just aggressive, it was inhuman, and they've never taken responsibility for it.
02:20:05.000But what I'm saying is that when you're a commander in a war like that, and you're Truman, and they come to you and they say, we can take that, we can take Japan, we can storm Japan, we'll probably lose a million American soldiers, or we can drop bombs on them.
02:20:20.000You say to your commanders, drop those bombs.
02:20:22.000You're also saving Japanese lives on the Japanese.
02:20:24.000And Japan has to take responsibility for the people.
02:20:27.000Maybe that happened, but it also might have happened that they wanted to fucking use these bombs.
02:20:31.000And they wanted to let everybody know that even if Japan wanted to concede defeat, listen, bitch, we're going to try these shits on you because we made them.
02:20:38.000And we want to let everybody know how we have them.
02:20:40.000I don't believe all this crazy take over the world nonsense any government or any administration.
02:20:46.000But Brian does, and Brian takes the Fox News point of view on a lot of different things.
02:20:54.000And you don't concede that the government is capable of doing some horrific things.
02:21:00.000But when you bring up things like Operation Northwoods and you know that they were going to kill American soldiers and blame it on the Cubans, that's absolutely factual.
02:21:06.000I don't put anything past the U.S. government or any other government.
02:21:35.000What happens the way our government is structured is you get into a war room with a lot of people, a lot of people who are civilians that military people have to answer to.
02:21:44.000And there are about 25 different, and read Woodward's book called The War Room, A Bush at War.
02:21:53.000Because what happens in a war room is there are 25 opinions and everybody's buying for their, and they have intellectual debates the way all of us would.
02:22:01.000They have their point of view and they talk about consequences.
02:22:04.000And believe me, a lot of guys in there are going, there's a moral, there are moral points of view and everything else.
02:22:09.000I don't want to kill a bunch of people.
02:22:10.000So what happens is, finally, it gets whittled down to four or five arguments.
02:22:14.000The president goes into a room and he has to choose.
02:22:16.000But when you come into a room with a bunch of guys and you say, hey, I think we should drop this bomb because I want to see if it works.
02:23:44.000I don't think you know how the process goes.
02:23:45.000And I think even reading books where Bob Woodward's describing the war room, I don't think you have a fucking clue as to how the process was going on in 1947.
02:23:54.000I think it's massive amounts of speculation.
02:23:58.000And we know about a lot of fucking, even do the Freedom of Information Act.
02:24:02.000I was reading up about the Pearl Harbor shit.
02:24:04.000One of the reasons why they can't come up with a definitive reason or a definitive answer as to whether or not the government had prior knowledge is because of how many papers were classified.
02:24:16.000We might have dropped the bombs because the war might have been on its way out anyway, and we might have wanted to let them know what the fuck was up.
02:24:21.000There might have been an excuse to use them.
02:25:01.000It's amazing that it was not that long ago.
02:25:03.000That's the most incredible thing about World War II.
02:25:06.000It was such a vicious war, and it was so ruthless on both sides.
02:25:10.000But what I always just say is that the aggressors of that war were imperialist powers.
02:25:16.000They were Japan and they were Germany.
02:25:19.000And the objective, the sole objective was a group of men who had total control over their population, and their objective was world domination.
02:25:32.000How fascinating would it be if there wasn't a United States and the United States was, let's get fucking crazy and decide that pilgrims never fucking came over here.
02:25:41.000And so this is just a bunch of Indians running around here and no one even knows what's going on in Europe.
02:25:45.000And that's not outside the realm of possibility.
02:25:48.000Because when you look at the window of opportunity between the 19, look at from 1700 to 1947.
02:25:54.000That ain't shit as far as the universe is concerned.
02:25:57.000And when you're talking about the fact that Europe had massive works of art, had all this incredible shit that they had already accomplished, all this amazing architecture, this amazing fucking history and written history.
02:26:10.000And there's people here running around with animal skins over their dicks, shooting arrows at deers at the same exact time.
02:26:30.000If Hitler was still there, and Mussolini was still there, and whoever the fuck was the emperor of Japan, if they all got together at the time, and they really did the same thing, and they took over the whole world over there.
02:26:40.000But it was also a time, you know, when they talk about World War II, and they talk about...
02:28:06.000But what's relevant about what we're talking about is that during that time in the world, it was a time of great political experimentation.
02:28:14.000It was this notion that you could perfect a human being with an ideology.
02:28:19.000You could perfect a human being with totalitarianism, control over the total person, and re-education, reprogramming of someone's mind.
02:28:27.000And so treating a human being as though they were a noun.
02:28:41.000He was a major general and Major General Smedley D. Butler, war hero.
02:28:47.000And after he retired in 1935, he wrote a book about how he had been misled and all of his different campaigns have really just been about protecting bankers, protecting oil money.
02:28:58.000And he didn't really realize it until it was too late, until it was over.
02:29:02.000Because if you read it and you didn't know like who this guy was or the time period that he's talking about, you would assume that this is a guy who recently defected from the army.
02:29:12.000You would assume that this is like some kind of shit, like, you know, some Gulf War guy who came over.
02:29:16.000There's a lot of soldiers who've come over.
02:29:19.000There's a bunch of different organizations where they have soldiers for peace and, you know, they talk about their horrific experiences and they talk about how bad war is and how war is unnecessary.
02:29:28.000You know, Pat Tillman, after he volunteered, That was one of the reasons why his family suspected that he was actually killed.
02:29:33.000As he was getting very, very vocal about how fucked up the war was and how he had gone over there with perfect intentions.
02:29:40.000But once he got over there, he realized this is a disastrous cluster fuck of epic proportions.
02:29:45.000Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing, and we shouldn't be here in the first place.
02:29:58.000But that's the thing when you read history, you start to realize a lot of these, like you hear speeches like back in the 30s and 40s, and you go, man, that's just as relevant today as it would be back then.
02:30:08.000But it's incredible that this guy had figured that 35 was when he wrote the book.
02:30:14.000And he was talking about how the U.S. is engaging in military war games in the Pacific that are bound to provoke the Japanese.
02:30:52.000Yes, yes, but, but the way you avoid, the best way, it's not foolproof, but I believe the best way to try to avoid horrific things like World War II that killed millions of innocent Japanese, innocent Germans, innocent Americans,
02:31:08.000so many people, so many innocent people, especially in Europe and especially, you know, but the way to avoid those horrific things is to have a political system in place that is transparent and gives people the power to make their own decisions.
02:31:32.000Yeah, that's why they're trying to shut it down.
02:31:33.000That's why they're trying to fucking put enforcements out.
02:31:36.000When they take down mega upload, what they're doing is testing the waters.
02:31:40.000They're trying to figure out how much.
02:31:41.000Don't give anybody too much power over you, whether they're American, whether they're Japanese, whether they're not going to be able to do it.
02:31:46.000They're all going to behave the same way.
02:31:54.000So you put a law in place now, some Dick Cheney, evil, cunt-faced douchebag is going to be in control in a couple of years, then you're fucked because that law's there.
02:32:02.000And it goes back to what you were saying.
02:32:53.000But the architects of, say, the intellectual architects of the Iraq War, for example, Paul Wolfwood, Douglas Fleet, I think what drove them was hubris and ambition and the notion that they themselves could change the world and restructure the world.
02:33:08.000Well, also they became a war corporation.
02:33:10.000And one of the things about becoming a corporation is that you lose, there's a diffusion of responsibility.
02:33:14.000You have a bunch of people moving towards the same goal.
02:33:16.000And even if that goal is evil, it seems like it's going to be okay because it's not really you.
02:35:39.000The only time women run things correctly is when it's some crazy banana republic in the middle of nowhere and you get some crazy bitch who knows how to shoot people.
02:35:47.000She takes over for a short time and they make a movie about it after she's dead.
02:42:04.000If there was a bunch of human beings that I gave birth to or was responsible for their creation on this planet and I never got to see them and they were just like existing.
02:42:12.000He does because he was talking about his kids in a very, very like family.
02:48:14.000Her tits were so nice, they looked fake and they were real.
02:48:16.000I remember, I'll never forget this girl.
02:48:17.000I think her name is Cheryl in New York.
02:48:19.000I had sex with her like, you know how a cowboy crosses the desert and jumps into a trough of water after he hasn't had water for three days?
02:51:48.000And even the fuck, we had, Joey and I had a little bit of apprehension because there was a lot of standing.
02:51:52.000We always do the Mandalay Bay Theater, which is about 1800, but unfortunately, they're redoing it for some Michael Jackson show, so we had to do the House of Blues.
02:52:00.000So in order to accommodate all the people, we had to have a lot of people standing, and people were cool as fuck.
02:52:05.000And I was really impressed by that because we've done it before, and there were a lot of heckling, a lot of talking.
02:52:10.000We said, fuck all these standing shows.
02:55:36.000Thanks to the fleshlights for sponsoring.
02:55:38.000Go to joerogan.net, click on the link for the flashlight, enter in the code name Rogan, and you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men.
02:55:44.000Watch the Brian Callen show on Death Squad on iTunes.
02:55:48.000And please, please, all due respect to all the Japanese people out there.
02:55:51.000I didn't mean that we should drop nuclear bombs on it.