Greg Fitzsimmons tells the story of how he found a Fleshlight at a strip club, and how he used it to fuck a million dead fish. Joe also talks about how he accidentally left it in a hotel bathrobe and it was discovered by a maid. And how he got to the bottom of it. Joe also discusses the importance of having a good night's rest, and why you should never be a night person unless you have a lot of money to spend on a masseuse. And he explains why you shouldn t have to be a massage parlor to get a massage. The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is sponsored by The Fleshlight and Onnit. We are also sponsored by Alpha Brain. Alpha Brain is a cognitive enhancing supplement from Onnit that helps boost your memory and enhance your brain function. There are a ton of other awesome stuff too, like 5-HTTPs. You can check them out at Onnit dot com and get 20% off your first purchase when you enter the code "ROGAN" and save 10%. You get 15% off the entire retail price of $99.99 plus free shipping and free shipping when you use the discount code ROGAN at checkout. Hit it, bitch bitch! And if you like the show, hit us up and let us know what you thought of the show! Cheers, Joe and the rest of the crew at Joe Rogans Experience Podcast! XOXO! xoxo XO and the boys at Joe and Greg at The Joe's Placebo Experience Podcast Thank you for listening to this episode of The Joesen Experience Podcast and sharing it on social media! Love ya, Joe & the boys love you're listening to it! - The JOBAN Experience Podcast? - Joe & The JOGAN Experience & the Joeson Experience Podcast. - Tom and the guys at Boston Freaks at The JOYCELLAR Podcast and The JOCAN Experience? - Thank you so much for listening and supporting the JOE ROWANCHORES - Thanks for listening, Joe's back with The JOE AND THE FOSTER AND THE PODCAST - THE JOE CHECK OUT THE JOB ROWDEN EPISODES AND THE JAY & THE KELLY CHECKOUT AND THE DOGAN EPISODE
00:05:15.000And then you would get like a guest spot on a real show.
00:05:18.000And then you would start to get these like, you know, $25 to $50 MC spots where you were driving the headliner somewhere.
00:05:25.000And you jumped past all that shit because they would send you out to feature and the headliners couldn't follow you because you were out of your fucking mind.
00:06:49.000This was probably the cruelest thing anybody ever did to me when I was on stage.
00:06:52.000It was like, you know, half-filled room.
00:06:55.000It was always like the back of a Chinese restaurant where they had a banquet room that they just put a microphone up in and call it a comedy night.
00:07:02.000I'm up there tanking it, and I'm not acknowledging that I'm tanking it.
00:07:06.000And during one of the silences that should have had laughter in it after one of my jokes, I heard this middle-aged woman whisper to her husband.
00:11:39.000It's like, you know when you're first fucking a girl and you can't believe she's letting you fuck her after jerking off for three straight years?
00:11:46.000That's what it was like when I was doing stand-up in Boston.
00:11:49.000They're allowing me these stages that I've watched since I was a teenager in awe.
00:11:54.000All of a sudden, I'm on it and they're letting me talk.
00:14:06.000And so me, Cotter, and Noxie are working at a place in Maine called the Laughing Lobster, which started to have slow business and suddenly burnt down in the middle of a wet summer.
00:14:17.000And so we're up there and we're staying.
00:14:19.000There's a condo complex that we're staying in, which was pretty upscale.
00:15:33.000She goes, I just got to change outfits.
00:15:35.000She was putting on some kind of costume for this bit.
00:15:37.000So she goes in the next room, but there's mirrors everywhere, and I can see her, and she gets down to a thong and those little things that hold your tits up underneath.
00:15:47.000No, I swear to God, I was going over my notes and it was like bing, bing, bing off the mirrors and I got a complete shot and just a beautiful, beautiful body.
00:16:40.000Brian, don't you have the same thing with, like, you watching amateur porn?
00:16:43.000Yeah, I can't even do regular porn because I know there's, like, five cameramen in there.
00:16:46.000I'd rather have, like, stolen laptop porn, you know, or, like, ex-boyfriend getting revenge by sending out photos and videos of, like, his ex-girlfriend.
00:17:19.000Because, look, I studied acting, and we spent fucking six months on answering a door in a scene and how you react to not knowing what's on the other side of the door, opening it, and then is it real?
00:19:26.000If they're going to do a test for me to feel good about porn, I want to know that her parents are no longer living.
00:19:32.000I don't want to know that there's a dad out there that might see this someday.
00:19:37.000Well, the last thing I want to know is that she's doing it because she didn't have the love of her parents.
00:19:41.000And if her parents are dead, that's the first thing I'm going to think of.
00:19:43.000And then it's a boner killer right there, son.
00:19:46.000Yeah, but do you want to be thinking that while you're jerking off, her dad's jerking off, finds the clip, can you imagine jerking off and then your daughter pops up?
00:20:22.000Wait, how old is his daughter supposed to be?
00:20:24.000You know, like, you go, listen, I just learned some disturbing news, and as soon as I get rid of this load, I am going to address the situation.
00:21:01.000It accentuates your orgasm, because now you get too mad at somebody.
00:21:06.000What if you came and it was your best orgasm ever, and you realize, and it's the kind of nirvana that if you can't get back to it, you don't know what you'll do?
00:21:35.000It's him watching classic old porn with the actors from it.
00:21:39.000And I watched one of them, and it was like, it was a preacher, dad, and he ends up, you know, hitting on his daughter and seducing her, and then they fuck.
00:21:46.000And that's what a lot of those movies were.
00:21:48.000They were really Oedipal, and there was a lot of, like, rapey stuff.
00:22:12.000But one of the most interesting aspects of it is how the G-Man, before the G-Man became like the symbol that everybody wanted to achieve, and everybody wanted to be a G-Man, all these young kids growing up.
00:22:22.000Before, it was like James Cagney playing like these gangsters.
00:25:39.000You're so happy that you're not in your mom's care anymore.
00:25:44.000I love those summer outreach programs.
00:25:47.000No, but it is interesting, though, because that was the whole, you know, feminist movement was saying that rape was a crime of power and not a crime of biology.
00:25:57.000But then kind of now the new thinking on it by the postmodern feminists is that that was bullshit, that no, it is men get horny, and it is partially what you're saying, that it is about, you know, I've been rejected and I'm more physically powerful, so I'm going to rape.
00:26:12.000But that there is also, like, guys that are so fucking wired for sex And something's off and that it's about the physical act of sex as well.
00:27:00.000I think if it wasn't a religion, somebody would make something up.
00:27:03.000We look so hard for someone to have the answers that it's almost impossible for someone with a big ego to not take advantage.
00:27:11.000So some crazy dude would come along with the answers all of a sudden, and then boom, you'd have a new religion.
00:27:16.000So our longing, you know, it's like we have...
00:27:20.000An amazing ability to control our environment right now, you know, with planes and the internet and our physical infrastructure of our cities is an amazing ability, but yet we're still trying to figure out why the fuck we're here, what is sex and breeding, what is the purpose of making more people if I'm just going to die and everyone else is going to die eventually too?
00:27:42.000What the fuck is this really all about?
00:27:44.000Isn't it amazing that that is really the core?
00:27:47.000Those three or four questions you just asked, there is no close second to importance in questions in life, and they're the ones you never hear talked about.
00:27:56.000And when everyone brings them up, you belittle it.
00:29:01.000I don't think that true spirituality comes out of more of that idea of Taoism, where there is this force of nature that is positive and flows, and by humbling your ego, you can become a part of that force.
00:29:15.000As close as I think, if you really boil down most Eastern thought, it comes down to that selflessness and getting into a place where the power, obviously something is making the flowers bloom, the sun's setting at the same time, all the shit that you can count on.
00:30:19.000But the idea that there's no God, that there's absolutely no deity, absolutely there's no intelligence to the whole process, I don't believe that either.
00:30:29.000I don't see any evidence that there isn't a very distinct mathematical progression to everything in the universe.
00:30:36.000And I don't know if you can say that there's not a purpose for that.
00:30:40.000I don't know if you can define if an intelligent form of life or consciousness or whatever the fuck it is created it or if it's just the ethic of the universe that things always get more complicated, including intelligent life and technology and all these different things.
00:30:53.000It's just everything will continue to get more complicated, period.
00:31:36.000I don't think any atheist is absolutely positive that when they die, the energy ceases to exist, and they do not pass into another form of existence.
00:32:19.000And the theme of it was grace versus nature.
00:32:23.000And it got me thinking a lot about if you're going to be a pure evolutionist and believe that science is this thing that in infinite possibilities we are one possibility.
00:32:35.000And that all the things that are happening right now are a result of complete, freaky, but yet logical science.
00:32:44.000And I say, well, if that's true, and evolution's the key, why do we have handicap ramps?
00:32:54.000You know, liberals are the ones that believe that there is no God, or that they downplay the God thing, and they're the ones that are constantly promoting what I would call grace, you know, kindness.
00:33:04.000Kindness doesn't exist in the animal kingdom.
00:33:06.000It's like what we were talking about with rape.
00:33:07.000You know, not raping is kindness, because you could rape, But you don't.
00:33:13.000Something is in us, whether it's shame sociologically, but if you look at it more in the bigger picture of I'm a liberal, and yet I am voting against my best interests because there's something in me.
00:33:27.000And I don't believe in any prescribed religion, but there's something in me in my gut that feels like Jesus did, you know?
00:33:37.000You can't have evolution and completely deny that there is some kind of a spirit within our process as humans that's guiding us towards something kinder than complete survival of the fittest.
00:33:50.000Yeah, I think that's what the one thing that we are.
00:33:53.000We're an animal, but we're also the next stage of animals where we're aware of who we are and we contemplate our existence.
00:34:01.000And when you contemplate your existence and you're an intelligent life form, you should always be seeking to improve.
00:34:07.000If you're always seeking to improve, the thing that you look at is like, what has brought me the most positive results?
00:34:14.000The connection with human beings on a very positive level where you build up a trust and you have warmth and friendship and you root for each other and you share in each other's bounty and you build together.
00:34:27.000We all know inherently in our heads that kindness is like one of the best gifts you can bestow another human being.
00:34:35.000Whether it's giving them food when they don't have any or helping them out or hooking them up or doing something to help them.
00:34:40.000Or being around them and complimenting them.
00:35:29.000But I think as you get older, you start to really understand what you just said, that the kindness and the connection is where it's all at.
00:35:36.000You look at all these studies on, they're doing a lot of sort of quantifiable happiness, you know, studies on what brings us happiness.
00:35:42.000It always comes down, it's never about money.
00:35:44.000Yeah, I think it's always about doing what you actually want to be doing with your life as far as if you have an inner creative expression to get out.
00:35:51.000And there's a lot of people that always wanted to be singers and they just for whatever reason never pursued it.
00:36:49.000The key is that, you know, we're in Hollywood and I see a lot of misdirected what you're saying.
00:36:54.000You see people that think that being famous is going to bring them happiness, which you certainly have more experience with fame than I do, but you probably would say that it is marginally helps you be happier with giving you maybe some possibilities, but it does not deliver you happiness.
00:37:09.000Yeah, it's managed madness is what it is.
00:38:41.000I like that when I meet somebody, I'm going to know if they're a douche or not because if they don't know me, then I'm going to see who they really are.
00:38:48.000But if they recognize me, then it's going to be, I'm not going to see this person.
00:38:53.000They may talk shit behind my back or whatever, but when I see them, they're gonna have a little bit of an agenda to be nicer or try to form more of a relationship than they would have otherwise.
00:39:05.000It can if you're not an analytical person.
00:39:07.000Look, I think the most difficult person to figure out always is ourselves.
00:39:11.000And I think most people, at least, Don't have nearly enough inner dialogue where they sit themselves down and go over all the different shit that they're thinking and doing.
00:39:22.000Most people don't understand their own mind.
00:39:25.000And if you block shit in your life, if you...
00:39:28.000I've seen it so many times with guys that are in the closet.
00:39:31.000Guys that are in the closet that are gay and they become huge boozers and they're just blocking out this part of their brain because they're living their life in this tortured state.
00:39:43.000I think that's a big issue for people.
00:39:46.000No, Kevin Meany, who's a dear friend of mine, was like a mentor for me coming up in stand-up, and he came out of the closet, I want to say he was close to 50, with a kid, and the guy had a drinking problem, he was overweight, and then he came out of the closet, he's fucking trim, he's happy, he's got new material, and I mean, I just saw this load come off his shoulders and onto his face.
00:40:25.000You're somebody who I think really significantly changed in the time I've known you, and not in a bad way.
00:40:30.000You went from being a guy, you never touched marijuana, drinking, nothing.
00:40:37.000And you were hardcore, you were confrontational, and in an honest way, it's what made you a good comedian early, is you took shit straight on, and you didn't back off.
00:40:50.000And I saw the curious side of you kind of expand as you got older and then I saw you expand your mind with you know different methods and yet it's like you're still you but people don't really change usually in life and it seems like something happened to you at a certain point like you had an epiphany or something.
00:41:10.000Well, one thing is I got an isolation tank.
00:41:13.000And the isolation tank, there's never been a bigger tool for me in terms of personal development than the tank.
00:41:22.000Because the tank is you completely alone only with your thoughts.
00:41:27.000And there's no way to distract yourself with activities, with chronic masturbation, with fucking watching TV shows when you're flipping through channels late at night when you really should be sleeping.
00:41:35.000There's no way to distract yourself from your innermost thoughts when you're in there.
00:42:00.000And as you look at things objectively, it's like you're sort of forced to grow, and in that environment, the environment of the tank, Which is just another form of a psychedelic experience.
00:42:11.000It's a psychedelic experience that is natural.
00:42:14.000It could be done while you're stone cold sober.
00:42:16.000You just climb on in and within, you know, if you've done it for a while, within an hour you're in a psychedelic state.
00:42:21.000You're in some crazy hallucinogenic dream state.
00:42:24.000So what was the truth that you think came out?
00:42:27.000Well, a lot of my anger had to do with the way I was raised.
00:42:30.000I hadn't seen my father since I was like seven years old.
00:42:33.000And I always thought that that didn't fuck with me.
00:42:35.000But then as I got older, I really truly realized it fucked with me.
00:42:39.000And I didn't really kind of understand it until I had a few psychedelic experiences and kind of like looked at the source of, you know, a lot of angst and a lot of like anger that I would have.
00:42:51.000I would be a guy who would try to be nice to everybody, but I was already on a trigger.
00:42:55.000So if something happened where someone did something rude, I would over-escalate almost immediately.
00:43:02.000I would be ready to take them to fucking full-on war.
00:43:08.000Well, I don't know that we've ever talked about this, but we had one kind of blowout in our life, and I was living with your girlfriend at the time, Jennifer.
00:46:05.000And I went to the bathroom and I came back and I opened my ice cream and Jennifer was eating hers and my ice cream bar had a bite taken out of it.
00:46:45.000And I think, number one, I was a brash, fucking wise-ass pervert, you know, with a lot of energy back then.
00:46:52.000And so, first point I would say is that with Jennifer, if I said, I can't believe I'm living with her, I think it was probably more of a comic premise than like a real attraction on any level.
00:47:02.000I think it was like, yeah, she was hot.
00:47:04.000But I wouldn't be moving in with the chick to try to get laid with her.
00:47:07.000No, I didn't think you were doing that.
00:47:11.000But I think there was a residual feeling with you that I had said that, and it was maybe on your mind that I'm living with her, and that's a little bit fucking weird.
00:47:54.000It's so long ago, the memories aren't real anyway.
00:47:57.000They're not, but no, that's why I brought it up in this arena, because I feel like, I don't know if there's humor in it, but I think that there's a real moment in it where, you know, where I think it fucked me up, too, because first of all, seeing you get that angry was like, you know, scary shit, and the irony of you hitting me with the Ben and Jerry's Peace Pop was also not completely lost on me.
00:48:23.000And I felt like, you know, and sadly that was right at a time when you were moving to New York.
00:48:29.000You started going down and working danger fields and all that shit.
00:48:32.000So it became kind of convenient that we just didn't see each other as much.
00:48:36.000We would fucking write together every day.
00:48:38.000We drive to gigs and then all of a sudden this kind of blowout happened and you just happened to be moving.
00:48:43.000And so we spent a few years of just not being in each other's spheres at all.
00:48:48.000And then it was water under the bridge and we started to, you know, hang out and all that stuff.
00:48:52.000But I always wanted to talk to you about it because I felt like whatever your takeaway was from that experience, that, you know, if I did say something, it wasn't from my heart and that I think it was a loaded situation.
00:49:29.000You were hanging out with another Michael, and you were a real Kinison guy, and I was starting to move a little bit more towards not necessarily...
00:49:56.000I just didn't want to see you back off.
00:49:58.000When you were at your best, Greg Fitzsimmons would have these sets and you would have a bunch of really well-crafted jokes.
00:50:06.000You had a bunch of good things and you have one thing where you just went over the fucking edge completely and the comics would be howling and I always knew.
00:50:18.000I mean, you have a sick fucking sense of humor.
00:50:20.000So when I would see you pull back to do a Letterman set or pull back to do any of this stuff, I'm like, the only reason that exists is because there's someone trying to sell Toyota trucks or Tide.
00:50:29.000The only reason why censored TV exists...
00:50:32.000So this idea that it became clean and clever, I'm like, what is clever about cutting out the most fun aspects of life and homogenizing it so that four-year-olds can watch it?
00:50:47.000And in my head back then, I was watching you and saying, well, yeah, you're just going up there and you're just fucking throwing shit and cum in their faces and you're killing and you're fucking prancing the stage in a stalk and you're fucking got your hand over the mud.
00:51:01.000And I was just like, you know, he's killing it.
00:51:03.000But like, that's like I was coming out of college as an English major and I wanted to write, you know, I've gone into writing.
00:51:37.000I mean, we're not laughing because we like you and it's not funny.
00:51:40.000It's like you would say some really dark, fucked up shit...
00:51:42.000And then you'd be like, I can never use that bit.
00:51:47.000They won't use me now, but Boston Comedy won't book me on the road because of that bit.
00:51:51.000I think that there was a part of me that, I think in baseball terms, you were always the guy that was the Grand Slam swinger, and I was the guy that just wanted to get a lot of doubles and singles.
00:52:02.000And so, in a sense, I think everybody, my father used to say, everybody ends up where they're really comfortable, you know?
00:52:09.000And in a sense, for you, like you talked about, going on stage when you didn't have the material, but doing an hour, like balls out, I'm fucking, that wasn't me.
00:52:17.000That would have been my worst fucking nightmare.
00:52:18.000To me, it was like, I wanted to make a living doing this.
00:52:21.000I wanted to write, I wanted to go on Letterman.
00:52:24.000It was like things I wanted that were in this strategy.
00:52:27.000Not that I thought about it, but it was just naturally where I was going.
00:52:30.000And for you, it was like, you wanted to fucking explode.
00:52:47.000I resented that I was feeling like you were not approving of what I was doing.
00:52:52.000You were putting pressure on me not to do it.
00:52:54.000That's hilarious because I've always felt like that it was always the opposite with people, that the people that were dirty were, especially back then in Boston, they were the ones who were pressured to clean it up.
00:53:03.000Oliver Keithley, that's all he ever used to tell me.
00:53:44.000I just remembered something you did that was fucking brilliant.
00:53:47.000This is back in the day where there was like, maybe somebody had heard the Jerky Boys, like maybe like one, you know, one of their CDs were out, and like they were like really kind of funny recorded phone calls where they would fuck with people.
00:54:00.000Greg did one where he called in a car rental place, and you did it with the It's on my CD. This extreme, extreme Boston accent for years, for years after that, I'd go, it's on fire!
00:54:23.000Well, the thing is, when you talk about the Boston comedy community, we really did have our own little pod.
00:54:28.000It was like me, you, Cotter, Mike, I can say, McDonald, McCarthy.
00:54:34.000There was really only a half a dozen of us that, and I felt like an outcast.
00:54:38.000There was Dave Cross and Marin and all those guys that were doing that sketch, esoteric stuff in Cambridge.
00:54:44.000Then you had, we talked about the big headliners that were, they had their own, they were And they were looked at in a different way.
00:54:51.000There were guys who were looked at as being clever with good material, and then there were guys who were like Knox, who a lot of people would look down on them.
00:54:59.000They would look down on that material, that silly party guy sort of a stationery guy.
00:55:05.000And yet, we didn't fit nicely into any of the categories.
00:55:08.000And so I think we were left in a little bit of the misfit toys syndrome.
00:55:12.000I kind of felt like it wasn't about being clean or dirty.
00:55:16.000It was just more about resenting people that were fake and seeing people that were, again, Looking like they wanted careers and backstabbers and all that shit.
00:55:26.000I felt like there was a safety among the five or six guys we hung out with that we were real people and that we were doing ballsy comedy and that we were the hungriest ones out there.
00:55:35.000I mean, you went to an open mic night for those couple years.
00:55:38.000Ours were the first fucking names on the list.
00:55:40.000And we were standing there like panthers waiting to see if we were going to get on.
00:57:22.000There was another guy named Ed the Machine Regine who was working also as a used car salesman who set the odometers back on cars and did about five or six years.
00:57:46.000And then there was the other Rhode Island comic who'd put a clam suit on and then he would close out with a bit where he'd sing Muddy Waters' I'm a Man but it's I'm a Clam.
00:57:59.000And the crowd would lose their shit, and then you're on next.
00:58:01.000It was always about who you had to follow in Boston, because you'd have outrageous shit like that happen, and the crowds in some towns were so dumb.
00:58:09.000I mean, Rhode Island, they were all dumb.
00:59:21.00045 minutes into a set, 40, 40 minutes into a set, he's doing this bit where he's playing John Davidson, and John Davidson gets fucked by Satan.
00:59:30.000John Davidson used to be the host of That's Incredible, and John Davidson is getting fucked by Satan, and he swells up in the offseason.
01:00:44.000He gets some shit from a lot of people because a lot of his ideas are so commonplace today that people go, well, he wasn't even doing comedy.
01:01:26.000I mean, there's similarities, but what Hicks did was completely change the way people did comedy.
01:01:32.000Like, all of a sudden, people would have comedy that would make you, like, make a point.
01:01:36.000And, like, there would be parts of it that would be funny, but there would be parts of it that would set up the funny by pointing out how fucking preposterous so much of this shit is.
01:02:52.000He was a guy, if you want to get to the place where Bill Hicks is, you've got to be, and Carlin, you have to learn the rules to break them.
01:05:05.000I did a lot of research, and it's like, I think that there's two kinds of people.
01:05:10.000There's people that will, I'll call people when I make a mistake, apologize, I want to talk about shit if it's under the carpet, and I want the right to change my mind later, you know?
01:05:20.000And I think that that's the way I choose to go through life.
01:07:29.000I was doing Fear Factor and The Man Show at the same time, and we had, all of a sudden, they had completely changed how they were approaching it.
01:09:33.000However, when a fucking 350-pound fat Cuban guy with a baseball hat and Timberlands comes running out and his balls are like grapefruit in an old lady's pantyhose and his dick is big and it's flopping around on his giant belly, you cannot not laugh.
01:09:48.000When he's going, let's get this party started!
01:11:50.000We should have just, we should have, like, after the first time didn't work, we should have said, listen, we should just, the only way we could ever do this correctly is if we just stop calling it the man show.
01:12:16.000People don't realize that that stupid stunt had a big impact because the dummies that run these networks, they just don't want to lose their jobs.
01:12:26.000We've got to react to this Janet Jackson thing.
01:12:28.000You give me anything you have that could cause us trouble because now the microscope of the media is going to be, people are going to be peering into every single show looking for anything that's possibly offensive while this whole wave of indignation washes through the nation because someone saw a woman's tit during the dinner hour.
01:12:44.000Yeah, we did one of the sketches that I wrote was called Ill Suitors and it was like a dating service for men that didn't want long-term relationships paired up with women that had terminal illnesses.
01:12:55.000And then one of the scenes, and it was all like, you know, Doug had this funny idea of like, she's in a wheelchair on the beach trying to wheel through the sand.
01:13:01.000And he's running in slow motion towards her.
01:13:03.000And it ends with like, it was supposed to end with him making out with this woman in bed with his hand up her shirt.
01:13:11.000And then it goes to him giving mouth to mouth and pushing it.
01:14:06.000One of the things that came out of that was that Doug and I were doing mushrooms the day the war broke out.
01:14:11.000We sat around this dude's house in the desert, we did mushrooms, and that day, it was like right when we were planning to do the man show, the war broke out and they were showing that they were going to be beginning war coverage at 5 p.m., Yeah.
01:14:25.000And Stan Hope goes, holy shit, there's a kickoff.
01:14:31.000And we're tripping balls in the desert where you could barely focus on the TV because it's become a soup of pixels.
01:14:48.000I mean, I've been on a couple of pilots and shows, actually TV shows, where people were double-dipping.
01:14:56.000I wrote on Wanda Sykes' show last year, and she was doing Adventures of Old Christine and then coming over and trying to do her show on Fox at night.
01:18:11.000When you go in on an audition, there are so many, it's like watching the fucking Westminster Dog Show.
01:18:16.000You walk in, you sign in, you schmooze with the other actors, you look at your lines, then when you walk in, you gotta say something clever, and a mild flirtation with the casting director, then you say something that's a little bit naughty, and then you start the scene, and then you finish it, and they tell you you're fucking great, and you tell them it's great to see, and you walk out like you don't need the job.
01:18:38.000And then you get in your car in the parking garage and you start slamming your forehead against the steering wheel and hating yourself and then waiting for the call.
01:18:46.000Yeah, I only got into acting for money.
01:18:50.000That's not what I started doing stand-up for.
01:18:52.000And once I realized that I can make a living without acting, I kind of shied away from it.
01:18:57.000I didn't act at all for like 10 years until I did a Kevin James movie, the Zookeeper movie.
01:19:01.000I hadn't done anything in like 10 years.
01:19:08.000Even when the hard part, coming up with new material and putting together a new hour and, you know, trying to structure it and, you know, and worrying, you know, how you're going to fill time, how you're going to start, don't forget anything, I don't want to go up in notes though, fuck, okay, I got it, I got it, I got it.
01:19:20.000That's still, that kind of work is nothing compared to the work of doing somebody else's stuff.
01:19:25.000Yeah, because in stand-up you get back exactly what you put into it.
01:19:28.000And I find sometimes I go on the road and I'll be like, wow, I just worked two weekends in a row.
01:22:34.000Well, Greg, I should preface this by saying that Greg is one of those guys where every now and then, like today or yesterday, I got a message from him.
01:25:49.000And I said, in college I was on the crew team, the rowing team, and I didn't know anything about the sport except when I'd seen those ancient Roman slave ship movies.
01:25:56.000So I showed up for the first day of practice with a big drum and a whip, and we won the league that year, and we captured one of Harvard ships and sold them off as slaves in the Adriatic Sea.
01:27:30.000It's part of, you know, what's interesting about life is like discussing what different people do in different parts of the world, you know?
01:27:36.000And I love that when you bring up religion on stage and somebody gets upset, like I'll say, I don't believe in the Ten Commandments.
01:27:42.000And then you see somebody cross their arms and get pissed, and I just stop and go, okay, hold on, lady.
01:30:37.000Do you think this is the one that's going to hold?
01:30:39.000Well, I think there's a place for this.
01:30:41.000And this isn't the ultimate thing to sit when you're home with your girl and you want to watch something on TV. You don't want to sit and watch a fucking podcast.
01:30:47.000I mean, that's weird to sit and watch a conversation.
01:30:49.000I think you maybe want to watch a movie or maybe want to watch a sitcom or...
01:30:53.000But for times, especially when you're doing boring labor, you know, like you're fucking stacking boxes and shit.
01:30:59.000Like there's a lot of people that are listening to this right now that are working jobs.
01:31:02.000And they either have an iPod on or they have a little, you know, a player somewhere where it's, you know, an MP3 player or whatever the fuck it is.
01:31:10.000And they're listening to this while they're driving in their cars.
01:31:12.000They're listening to this while they're on planes.
01:31:14.000There's a place for this form of entertainment.
01:31:17.000You know, and that's why I really don't have any desire to do anything else.
01:31:20.000You know, I've thought about doing other different sort of TV projects, but really the best thing that I do is like this and stand-up.
01:31:27.000And then the UFC. That's like enough stuff.
01:31:56.000But I guess my question really though is like, do you think that eventually it's going to be like you're going to turn on your radio in your car and it's going to be podcast streaming?
01:32:54.000To me, it's just another distribution platform.
01:32:56.000My advertisement is in Onnit.com, which I own part of, and in the Fleshlight, which has been our sponsor since we were on a laptop with fucking snowflakes in the background.
01:34:31.000And to me, it's like the more guys that are on Stitcher, the more people just go, well, fuck it.
01:34:35.000I'm just going to listen to podcasts on Stitcher instead of people going, I'm not going to be on this thing because it's a bad business model for the future of podcasting.
01:34:42.000You have a different sort of a take on it.
01:34:46.000My take on it is not based on, I didn't have a thing that would pay me based on downloads.
01:34:52.000So that makes a lot more sense that you'd be pissed.
01:35:57.000Now all of a sudden there's going to be other aggregator sites like Stitcher that have already culled your RSS feed, copied it, pasted it so it's not connected and you're not getting counts.
01:36:08.000Do you have public RSS feeds on your website?
01:36:10.000Yes, but they have to be, you know, they have to stream through my RSS feed.
01:36:19.000No, no, I mean, that means that you're just saying that any player can do the same thing Stitcher does.
01:36:22.000We cannot have another RSS feed argument.
01:36:25.000Alright, yeah, yeah, let's not do that.
01:36:26.000Let's talk about the goddamn political race.
01:36:28.000But it is an important point that you're bringing up, and especially what you were saying that, you know, you were getting paid by the download.
01:36:35.000And I didn't have any experience with negotiating with them because to me, it was nothing but a good thing.
01:36:40.000So I didn't get to experience the lying or whatever you say you experienced.
01:36:44.000I didn't get to experience that because my take right away was like, okay, good.
01:38:47.000Well, what we started doing is Brian started that Death Squad network of podcasts just for that very reason when I was telling you about it at the pool hall.
01:38:55.000To try to expand, to use the popularity of this podcast to make that more popular and sort of launch all these little different guys off into their own little podcast world.
01:39:38.000He should have been like that a long time ago.
01:39:39.000He needed something like a podcast to really let the audience see who the fuck he really was.
01:39:45.000The day that Whitney Houston died, I said in honor of the death of the great Whitney Houston, here's a video of Joey Diaz talking about selling coke to her.
01:43:54.000What you're really doing is saying, no, we're not allowed to explore, discuss, dissect, and possibly deflate an idea.
01:44:03.000We have to just pretend it's not there because it's just, I don't know.
01:44:09.000I don't know where political correctness even comes from.
01:44:12.000Who came up with the idea that people go to college where you're supposed to open your mind and then tell a comedian that he can't tell a bunch of 20-year-olds you can't say fuck.
01:44:20.000I can't say fuck in front of a bunch of 20-year-olds.
01:44:22.000All they do is fuck and drink and I can't talk about drinking or fucking.
01:45:16.000But the point is, my wife's dad, who graduated number one in his class from Yale, got a medical degree, ran for president on the Green Party in California in 2000, and got close to Nader.
01:46:25.000It's going to come from minds that have gone into the depths of challenged ideas and come out of it with the tools to take the status quo and change it and create and develop.
01:46:35.000I couldn't imagine even existing and going to school in the age of the internet.
01:46:59.000I forget, I was talking to somebody in college and they were gonna sit down and open up their laptop to watch the class that they'd missed because they videotaped the lectures.
01:49:44.000I think there's different ways they distinguish themselves.
01:49:46.000And I'm sure some of them are based on like, you know, this is somebody who worked, who's done a lot of community service work, so let's have a dinner club.
01:49:53.000But a lot of them are based on, you know, your blue blood, you know, what your DNA is, and who your parents were.
01:50:43.000Louis C.K.'s mom saved up all this money to send him to college, and then when he had a chance, he went to NYU film school, got in, looked around, and said, Mom, I got an idea for a short film.
01:50:54.000Can I take this money and make the film?
01:50:55.000I think I can learn more than I can at the school.
01:51:06.000I mean, it was like, you know, there's other ways to make it in the world if you really know what you want besides going to college and being fucking coddled for four years.
01:51:15.000Yeah, well, I always felt like just learning, like sticking to their lessons.
01:51:21.000You have to have some sort of a base of education.
01:51:24.000You have to be able to express yourself in the world.
01:51:27.000You have to be able to understand things.
01:51:29.000But once you get to a certain point, when you're 17 or 18 years old, if you have an idea of something you want to do, you know, if you want to be a gymnast, you want to be a professional gymnast or a fucking bike racer...
01:51:40.000It's not going to help you to learn Roman history.
01:52:23.000I wanted to learn how to write, and I did, and it was a great experience for me.
01:52:28.000I wouldn't have known it if I'd gone straight in from high school, and I also think that, like, BOCES should be offered earlier in high school.
01:52:35.000When you're a sophomore, you may know that you want to be...
01:52:37.000Oh, in New York, they call it BOCES. It's like a vocational school.
01:52:41.000Like if you know you don't want to learn calculus and you're a sophomore, you can start going to cooking classes or small engine repair.
01:52:48.000And by the time you graduate high school, you're qualified to be a chef or a lead mechanic and eventually own a shop.
01:52:55.000Yeah, but a lot of people don't want their kids to be boxed in like that because then if the kid grows up and then eventually wants to actually go to college, well, now he doesn't even have the base for it.
01:54:05.000When you talked about the philosophical works of Leonardo da Vinci, whether it was, you know, anything it was.
01:54:13.000Back in Haiti, what we would do is we would say this, and he would always, no matter what the fuck we talked to him, so that became, like, all I could concentrate on was how many different things this motherfucker could connect to Haiti.
01:54:25.000Because he always wanted to hear himself talk, because I think he was learning English.
01:55:00.000You know, whether or not he thinks that we're gonna bomb Iran.
01:55:03.000I go right into it with them, like, do you think we're gonna bomb Iran?
01:55:05.000And we get into religion, and he goes, you know, I don't know, I couldn't be there because they wanted you to, he was a Muslim, that they wanted you to believe this, and they couldn't accept it.
01:55:15.000I could just believe that it was exactly the conversation we had earlier about atheism.
01:55:43.000It doesn't matter what culture you're from, it transcends that.
01:55:47.000I think if somebody, like you were saying, if you really examine yourself and you're truthful about what your reality is, it comes out.
01:55:56.000There is one human experience, I think.
01:55:59.000College, to me, is supposed to be a place where they pull that shit out, where they say, look, here's four years.
01:56:05.000We're going to give you a place to live, a place to eat.
01:56:07.000Now just fucking go to town on your brain.
01:56:10.000Someone needs to develop a much more unconventional method of teaching people where they truly can go towards things only that they're interested in.
01:56:18.000You've got all your mathematics and everything already.
01:56:20.000Instead of learning about history, what the fuck do you want to learn about?
01:56:33.000But so many people don't even get that opportunity.
01:56:36.000You're forced to fit into a hole, whether it's a round hole or a square hole, whatever it is, you're forced to conform to become whatever the fuck that hole is.
01:56:44.000And then when you have people that were, like that girl Jennifer that I was dating, had restaurant hotel management.
01:57:00.000And that's what she had to look forward to.
01:57:02.000All the people in the restaurant, hotel, bar, management world, those fucking people would work for a salary, always salary, no one got paid overtime, and your work was never done.
01:57:11.000And you spent four years not doing that, so you're behind the people that started doing the same shit.
01:57:17.000What it's also about is technology and digital media.
01:57:22.000Information and the progress of every industry changes so fast.
01:57:26.000If you're going to college, you're learning your industry from a guy who learned it before you started college.
01:57:42.000You go and you've got these old acting teachers that learn from Stanislavski and they're teaching you, you know, repeat and answer and repeat.
01:58:02.000Because they wanted to teach you Russian theater.
01:58:05.000And it's the same with every industry.
01:58:07.000You're learning the fucking dinosaur method of things.
01:58:09.000Yeah, that used to be the way it was with martial arts until the Ultimate Fighting Championship sort of came around.
01:58:15.000Everybody was learning this old style of doing things where it already evolved past that.
01:58:20.000It should have been in a completely different stratosphere, but everybody was holding on to the traditional methods and no one was exchanging information.
01:58:28.000Who is the first person, who would you say is the first pioneer in that kind of crossover mixed martial arts?
01:58:35.000Well, the most significant guy is Hoist Gracie, because he was the guy that won the first Ultimate Fighting Championship, and he won it in a way that proved that a smaller man with more skill could defeat a bigger man.
01:58:44.000Because that was always the goal of martial arts, was like the Bruce Lee thing, where this little guy could fuck up everybody.
01:58:51.000But the reality is, in striking, that really doesn't work.
01:58:53.000Because little people can't hit as hard.
02:00:21.000So he changed it the most, but in terms of what we're talking about, which is that when you try to do things differently, people will try to stop you.
02:00:32.000It's still trying to fight off the stigma that it's this vicious back alley, too brutal, but wasn't this year kind of a big test for UFC going to that next level and going on network?
02:03:35.000Anybody can make a topic interesting if it's truthful and real.
02:03:38.000That's a weird thing that people do when they believe that somehow or another, if you talk about children, all of a sudden, you've fallen into this sellout, really pacified, sort of wishy-washy sort of stand-up.
02:05:25.000I think it's just like a real in the wild kind of thing.
02:05:28.000Yeah, it is a little bit, but you know what?
02:05:30.000You just got to calm that down by letting him know that you're on his team and letting him know that everything that you do to discipline him is only for his own development.
02:05:37.000It seems weird, but you went through it just as much as he's going to go through it.
02:05:41.000And it is hard because as the dad, and I don't know how deep you are into that part, is like, I feel like I have to be that, you know, it's a role.
02:05:49.000I end up being the disciplinarian more than my wife does.
02:07:10.000No, I have two little pussy dogs, but one of them is a biter, and I just grab her by the scruff of the neck, and I push her face down, and then I put my face in front of it, and I growl.
02:07:20.000And granted, look, it doesn't matter how small a dog is, that motherfucker bites.
02:07:24.000My friend had a fucking miniature pincher, and this motherfucker bit the shit out of me once.
02:07:30.000We were watching TV, I was just sitting there, and the thing snuck up behind me and just jacked me in the back.
02:08:09.000No, but it's all on me, this thing with my son.
02:08:12.000I know that it's a psychological thing, but I'd be embarrassed to think that, and I say it out loud, and I talk about it on stage because, to me, that's what stand-up is.
02:08:22.000What's the thing I'm most embarrassed about in my life right now at a deep level?
02:08:26.000And it's like I have a very Oedipal feeling right now, which is a real thing that dads go through with sons.
02:09:06.000Kids used to go through a period in their late teens where they fucking hated you, and I don't think they do as much.
02:09:10.000I think parents are better now, and I think there's obviously that pull-away part where they have to find themselves among their friends more than their family, but it's not that violent, I hate you as much.
02:09:20.000I think there was a lot of because I said so when we were growing up.
02:10:00.000Nobody was educated on how to psychologically, properly evaluate and how to raise children because their parents grew up in the fucking depression.
02:10:08.000My grandfather used to tell stories about breaking rabbit's necks, how you break a rabbit's neck, put a pot to make rabbit stew.
02:10:52.000Like, all these images that you may not even process, but they get into your hard drive when you're young, of like, shame on this, shame on this.
02:10:59.000I was raised with it, and it's like...
02:11:02.000Catholic guilt is the East Coast's main curse.
02:11:06.000It's one of the things most fucked up about the East Coast is the wave of Catholic guilt that has just polluted all the consciousness of all the different people there.
02:11:14.000And think about what our grandparents went through, man.
02:11:17.000Our parents were raised by our grandparents.
02:11:20.000Our grandparents lived in the dark ages, essentially.
02:11:23.000They lived in an area with no fucking television.
02:11:25.000There was no nothing when they were children.
02:12:10.000My grandfather came over from Ireland on my father's side, my grandmother on my father's side came over from Italy, and both my grandparents on my mother's side came over from Italy.
02:12:19.000So everybody took a fucking crazy chance and jumped in a boat, went across the ocean, so they were nuts!
02:13:14.000It sort of puts the whole idea of settling this country into perspective because most people can't really wrap their heads around how quickly the United States has developed.
02:13:23.000The idea that 1776 it was formed, that's nothing!
02:14:12.000That's a short period of time to expect an entire culture of people to recover from a really fucked, you talk about Catholicism being fucked up two generations ago.
02:14:54.000The children's being raised in a bad community.
02:14:58.000I think children being raised in poverty and neglect is always the big issue.
02:15:02.000Because if you don't do something about those kids now, you are just essentially, you give them no choice but to become criminals themselves.
02:15:55.000Here's the thing about the conservatives is very often I find that there is a short-sightedness.
02:16:00.000If they're the party of economic restraint and responsibility, I think that you're creating a bigger deficit and you're creating a more fragile economy when you have people that are uneducated that grew up, like you said, in an atmosphere where they were abused and they don't have the tools and their role models were shit.
02:16:18.000If you allow that to happen, it's a drain, selfishly, on your economy.
02:16:28.000Investing in the infrastructure of inner cities and building the bad neighborhoods and turning them into better neighborhoods and giving people chance and hope and giving them a possibility of Positively contributing to society.
02:16:38.000So instead of being a burden, there's something that helps.
02:16:52.000It's the most attended class in the history of Harvard University.
02:16:56.000And he's a guy that's taken every type of thought, going back to fucking Confucius and Jesus and young and then modern psychiatry, And basically just studied it for a decade and come up with basically happiness is pursuing something that you care about and feeling vital.
02:17:21.000They want to feel that they are making an imprint on the earth.
02:17:25.000Yeah, so some sort of a community outreach.
02:17:28.000And then, you know, you've got to have things that help people get off drugs, just for a fact.
02:17:33.000There's going to be people that are fucked up and they're not going to be able to make positive decisions because they're on drugs.
02:17:37.000And if that's your environment, if that's your community, if that's your neighborhood, it's within your best interest to clean these people up.
02:17:59.000And at least if you had legality, first of all, it should always be a social pariah and you should boycott any fucking company that would profit off the sale of those drugs.
02:18:28.000But there's always gonna be a new hillbilly coke can.
02:18:32.000There's always gonna be a fuckin' ammonia mix with this that gets you high.
02:18:36.000So to me it's about how do we cut out the abuse, how do we cut out the loneliness, the uselessness that creates a need for drug use or alcohol.
02:18:44.000Alcohol is the fucking, that's the unsung hero of failure.
02:18:48.000It's worse than drugs, and yet it's on in the Super Bowl, and it's legal.
02:18:53.000To me, I don't want to go down that road because that's a whole other fucking podcast.
02:18:56.000Well, that's also when you changed as a person when we were young.
02:18:58.000You got much more serious about your career as well when you quit drinking.
02:20:01.000And if you don't feel great and you can feel great, that's what you're going to do.
02:20:04.000And the only thing that feels better is, you know, feeling like people are expecting you to produce something and you do it and you feel good about it.
02:20:10.000Well, especially as an artist, I mean, and I hate that word, you know, him, I'm an artist, but putting out something that you create, that people enjoy, they love it.
02:20:19.000You know, people like podcasts, like this, like your podcast.
02:20:22.000People love the fact that they can get some enjoyment out of this.
02:20:25.000Like when I go to, the only podcast I really subscribe to, other than a few of my friends' stuff and death squad and stuff, is The Psychedelic Salon, one of my favorite podcasts.
02:20:36.000This guy, I think his name is Lorenzo.
02:23:07.000But it's like we've been able to turn it from, you know, what it was supposed to be, you know, was just us fucking around, to what I really should have probably been doing in the first place.
02:23:20.000It's kind of like what we were talking about before with The Office or The Man Show.
02:23:25.000The fact that you're stepping into a preconceived creative paradigm and trying to fill it up is a failure.
02:23:31.000To start with a podcast that aspires to nothing and then organically it builds itself, then it knows what it is.
02:23:40.000It's got a foundation based in Who you really are, as opposed to, like, you know, even as a comedian, you're starting out, you go through so many different masks.
02:23:48.000You think, I'm gonna be, like, I was gonna be the clever guy, or, you know, I'm gonna be a political comic, or I'm gonna use props.
02:24:48.000You don't get an opportunity to have those kind of conversations, especially with someone that's in the public eye or someone that's a comic.
02:24:58.000No one gets a chance to really get to know you like they do in this form, or like they do on your podcast, where you're constantly communicating with them.
02:25:05.000When they've heard you communicate for 100 hours, they fucking know you.
02:25:20.000Yeah, and well, I do to a point, I always feel like, a lot of times because I do the serious show first, they've already given me an hour, and then I usually shoot a video with them.
02:25:29.000I do this thing called Talk Your Way Out of It where I give people, and I'll do it to you right now.
02:26:47.000I did that to that particular one I thought of because my last show was with Natasha and I did that to her but it was in her pussy and she had her feet in the stirrups and she goes oh I was just tightening that for you.
02:28:19.000Because I didn't get any when I was young and I got married before.
02:28:21.000You know, I used to date a lot of black women and I dated a couple Latino women and I never dated an Asian woman and I find them just absolutely, they're so beautiful and their feet, they have such cute little feet.
02:29:40.000You know, I mean, the driver was really interesting.
02:29:43.000We had a really cool driver and he spoke very good English too.
02:29:47.000And one of the things he said was about...
02:29:50.000The deal with radiation, you know, at Fukushima, that a lot of people are sick, and the government lies about it.
02:29:56.000And he was like, well, the problem is that we trust the government.
02:30:01.000They're not in the rising up and questioning the government.
02:30:05.000People are into that they trust the government, the government has their best interest, and then they keep their eyes on their own business, and they do what they have to do.
02:30:12.000So there's not a lot of, like, this motherfucking government.
02:30:15.000We're time to take this motherfucker down!
02:31:17.000You know you're underneath somebody when you're looking at the guy behind you.
02:31:20.000You remember when one of the funniest things about doing the road was working with black comics?
02:31:25.000Because if black comics were supposed to be the middle act, they always had heard from the booker that they were supposed to be the headliner.
02:32:23.000And then when you go to New York, when you're a Boston comic and you go down to New York, all of a sudden they're like, fuck man, you're good.
02:32:29.000It's like, yeah, because we had to be different, you know, and you had to not be hacky.
02:32:33.000But the further you travel from Boston, the more, like you said, use your bit.
02:33:39.000It was like, I had never been to Western Massachusetts, and you would just get on the Mass Pike, and you'd get off some exit, just a number with woods around it, and then you'd drive for another 45 minutes, then you'd get to a Norm LeFoe gig.
02:36:36.000I always wondered, like, there's always a few guys that, like, they were really funny at one point in time, and then you're like, where is that guy?
02:37:36.000I mean, he's a guy who I think is obviously extremely funny.
02:37:41.000But at the same time, I think he's cerebral funny, where he thinks about it, he writes it, he rewrites it, he works hard, and then he comes up with an hour.
02:37:49.000Like, his Bigger and Blacker, is that what it was called?
02:37:52.000I mean, I'd put it against any hour of stand-up ever.
02:37:56.000But the way people get there is, you know, it's fucking different for everybody.
02:38:02.000You know, I think seeing somebody start to finish, that to me is a great TV show.
02:38:08.000I'd like to see something on Comedy Central where you watch, you know, put the cameras on four or five comics for three months and watch them develop, you know, interesting comics, different styles, and watch them write Hone, rewrite, bomb.
02:40:18.000Yeah, have a reality show where you're following stand-ups while they're putting together a special, and then at the end of the whole thing, they actually do their special.
02:40:26.000Monster live event taping at a good-sized theater.
02:40:30.000The only problem though is then the people are going to know the material.
02:40:32.000So really the best way to do it would be recorded in advance.
02:40:36.000Yeah, you bank the whole thing and then you roll it out later.
02:40:41.000But you could do it that way where you watch a live audience respond to that material and you see how that guy's developed it and you'd really appreciate it as a person who enjoys the craft of comedy.
02:43:39.000And the worst thing is I still fucking...
02:43:40.000I still have driving rage and I cut people off and I speed.
02:43:44.000And the worst thing is there's a button on your dashboard on the new Prius where it takes all the electrical shit out and it's just a fast, light little Toyota.
02:43:53.000And you go really fast and you get no gas mileage.
02:44:29.000I got it down at CarMax, and I was going to get it for like fucking 24,000 loaded V8. And then my wife and kids were going, Daddy, the environment, you got to get a Prius.
02:45:18.000It's a man's car, and you know, when I pull up to a red light, I'm next to a woman, I'm married and whatever, but I need to be able to look her in the eye.
02:45:24.000And with the Prius, your eyes go straight ahead.
02:45:56.000But, you know, when you're a young man, I have a friend who was in love with this chick, and he came over to her house, and he lifted up the toilet bowl to take a leak, and there was a floater, and he couldn't fuck her.
02:48:40.000But I had a girl, when I was at the Neighborhood Playhouse, we had a scene from, Farrah Fawcett did this movie, I forget what it was called, but she gets raped.
02:49:01.000And so we go to, you get to go to the workspace, and there's a combination lock, and we go in, and it's just us, and we're practicing the rape scene, where I literally knock her down, get on top of her, rip her blouse off, and kind of dry-humping her while she screams.
02:50:03.000We were both totally into it, and she was dating a guy in the class, so I wasn't gonna go over that line, but I had to get in the head as an actor of being a rapist, and I just couldn't do it.
02:50:16.000I couldn't give over to really feeling what it would feel like, because to really tap into what it would feel like to rape somebody and want to, I guess it would require me shedding so many constraints Do you know what I mean?
02:50:59.000Well, and in America, I think we've gotten away from that.
02:51:05.000One of the things you were talking about when we were playing pool that I totally agree with is that people aren't afraid of getting punched in the face anymore.
02:51:15.000And your act, I know, you play a lot with the idea of the animal kingdom and how, as humans, we have to stop denying the connection, basically.
02:51:33.000And it's also like when I see a guy on it, like there was a guy in his convertible the other day and he was talking on his Bluetooth phone.
02:51:40.000And I forget what he was saying, but just being a loud, self-involved douche who didn't look around and everyone could hear him.
02:51:46.000And I just thought, I want to punch this guy in the face, you know?
02:51:49.000And I should because I'm doing society a disservice by not punching him in the face.
02:51:54.000What is it about someone that's talking loud with a convertible in a Bluetooth that's so offensive?
02:52:00.000To me, we live in a society that is supposed to be aware of its other members and all working towards a certain set of beliefs like respecting each other's space and not being a flashy car.
02:52:28.000You're making me feel like I don't exist, and you're making me feel like whatever you're talking about is more important than me.
02:52:33.000I know that sounds weird, but it's a subconscious thing where you feel like you're not validating even the fact that I'm a pedestrian right now.
02:52:42.000You know, if you do have your fucking car, and you answer a phone call, and you're like, dude, I've got my top down right now, so let me put the top on, I'll call you right back.
02:53:05.000Do you text when you're at dinner or at a restaurant?
02:53:07.000Yeah, but only when somebody goes to the bathroom or whatever.
02:53:10.000I don't check texts that often because I feel like life has a rhythm that we've lost, and if I'm constantly available, then my rhythm is thrown off because something can happen in that text that changes my thought to, oh, I've got to call that guy back or I've got to do that.
02:53:26.000I suddenly become a servant of my messages coming in, but I try to space it out every two or three hours.
02:53:32.000I don't think there's anything that important that I can't ignore.
02:53:35.000I'm very addicted to technological communication, whether it's Twitter or texting.
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