The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1924 - Andrew Santino

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 Hello, Andrew Sandino.

00:00:15.000 Hello, Mr. Joseph Rogan.

00:00:16.000 How are you, sir?

00:00:17.000 Good, brother.

00:00:17.000 What's crack-a-lackin'?

00:00:18.000 Nothing, man.

00:00:19.000 Had so much fun last night.

00:00:20.000 Thank you.

00:00:21.000 Appreciate it.

00:00:22.000 Had a fun show.

00:00:23.000 Welcome to God's country.

00:00:24.000 It was wonderful.

00:00:25.000 Me, you, Brian Simpson, Tony.

00:00:28.000 Fun times.

00:00:29.000 So fun, dude.

00:00:29.000 Cheers, brother.

00:00:30.000 Cheers, my friend.

00:00:30.000 Cheers to you.

00:00:31.000 Hans Kim.

00:00:32.000 Yeah, Hans Kim.

00:00:33.000 That's the first time I've seen him live. 1.00

00:00:35.000 He's a funny motherfucker. 0.99

00:00:36.000 Dude, I thought when he walked in there... 1.00

00:00:38.000 What is that?

00:00:39.000 A little bit of Balcones...

00:00:41.000 When he walked in the room, he took off his helmet, and he had a jacket on, and I was like, this dude bought a bike, huh?

00:00:47.000 I was like, what kind of bike do you have?

00:00:48.000 He's like, it's a scooter.

00:00:50.000 I was like, oh.

00:00:51.000 He goes, it's very fuel efficient.

00:00:52.000 That's how he thinks.

00:00:54.000 Dude, he's got the get-up, though.

00:00:55.000 He has the helmet, the jacket, matched his shoes.

00:00:58.000 I was like, for sure.

00:00:59.000 We need to get him a motorcycle.

00:01:00.000 He's got to get a bike.

00:01:01.000 Well, there was a bike out back, and I was like, oh, is that Han's bike?

00:01:03.000 That's a nice bike.

00:01:04.000 You know what?

00:01:04.000 He should have a Harley.

00:01:05.000 Mm-hmm.

00:01:06.000 Han should have a Harley. 1.00

00:01:10.000 No, no, those are stupid. 1.00

00:01:12.000 You can't steer! 1.00

00:01:14.000 Why would you drive around in a bike that's very important to get the fuck out of way of stuff and your arms are up like this? 0.92

00:01:19.000 You do not have good leverage. 0.96

00:01:22.000 Although if you're lanky, it looks cool.

00:01:24.000 Like lanky dudes, it's kind of like a vibe for them.

00:01:26.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:26.000 It's like a style choice.

00:01:28.000 I have a real problem with those handlebars.

00:01:31.000 I love those bikes.

00:01:32.000 You're not the tallest guy.

00:01:33.000 That's tough.

00:01:34.000 But even if I was, even if you made it to my body, Yeah, like here. 1.00

00:01:38.000 Yeah, it's still stupid. 1.00

00:01:40.000 It still looks dumb. 1.00

00:01:41.000 Like this. 0.95

00:01:42.000 This you could steer.

00:01:44.000 Right there.

00:01:45.000 Like the race car, the racing bike guys, why do they have their handlebars down there?

00:01:48.000 Why?

00:01:49.000 Because that's the best way to steer.

00:01:50.000 Yeah, it's efficient.

00:01:51.000 Look at that.

00:01:52.000 Come on, son. 1.00

00:01:53.000 That's fucking preposterous. 0.99

00:01:56.000 Yeah, but dude, the style is... 0.99

00:01:58.000 Like, there's something about it that makes me go, that's fucking wild. 0.76

00:02:00.000 There's something about... 0.97

00:02:01.000 Well, that's not terrible.

00:02:02.000 No. 0.99

00:02:03.000 Like, what that guy's got in that fucking... 1.00

00:02:04.000 The front of that thing is sick. 1.00

00:02:06.000 That is sick.

00:02:07.000 Hans on that?

00:02:08.000 That'd be sweet.

00:02:08.000 Oh, Hans on one with a skull.

00:02:10.000 And look at the back end of it. 0.99

00:02:11.000 Look at all that metal and shit. 0.98

00:02:13.000 Look, I like Hans. 0.98

00:02:13.000 He's putting that thing down in three hours. 0.98

00:02:15.000 No!

00:02:15.000 Hans can handle things.

00:02:16.000 Hans is a black belt in Taekwondo.

00:02:18.000 Is he?

00:02:19.000 Yeah.

00:02:19.000 What was that skull one?

00:02:21.000 I was a kid, I think.

00:02:21.000 Well...

00:02:22.000 Show me that skull.

00:02:22.000 That is wild.

00:02:24.000 They do some wild shit with bikes. 0.99

00:02:26.000 I went for a period of time where I took motorcycle classes and I was ready to ride a bike, but then a dude that I worked with on Fear Factor crashed and fucked up his shoulder. 0.98

00:02:37.000 And then Frank Mir, who worked for the UFC, he got hit by a car and broke his leg and took him out of action.

00:02:42.000 He was really never the same again.

00:02:44.000 He was one of the best in the world for a long time, even after that.

00:02:50.000 That was like in the prime of his life.

00:02:52.000 He got his femur shattered to the point where they...

00:02:54.000 I mean, when you get your femur shattered, it's touch and go whether or not you lose your leg.

00:02:59.000 And he wasn't the same guy after that fighting.

00:03:02.000 It took a long time before he really got his groove back.

00:03:05.000 Did you have a bike?

00:03:06.000 Did you ever own a bike?

00:03:07.000 No, no.

00:03:07.000 So then that happened, and then a friend of mine saw somebody get hit on a bike, all within like two weeks while I was taking classes.

00:03:15.000 And I was like, fuck this. 0.95

00:03:17.000 And a bunch of the guys that I worked with on Fear Factor, we all went to the classes together. 0.99

00:03:21.000 And then, you know, a couple guys that worked in production, and one of the guys was a stunt guy, and we all were like, hey, let's get bikes.

00:03:29.000 And then one of them kept it. 0.95

00:03:31.000 One takes his fucking bike everywhere now, and I always envy him. 1.00

00:03:34.000 I'm like, that rebel, that wild motherfucker, he just rides his bike. 1.00

00:03:38.000 He's like, it's the best. 1.00

00:03:39.000 He goes, I'm never in traffic.

00:03:40.000 He goes, I ride my bike everywhere.

00:03:41.000 He's a single guy.

00:03:43.000 He just gets around.

00:03:44.000 I've thought about it, man, over the years, but I'm sketched out about other people. 0.89

00:03:48.000 One of my closest childhood friends, him and his wife, both rode professionally like he would do motocross and all that shit and trick shows internationally.

00:03:57.000 That's where he met his wife overseas. 0.68

00:03:59.000 And they both gave it up because she...

00:04:01.000 I don't know if she was with him or saw it happen, one of her good friends die on a bike, and she was like, that's it.

00:04:08.000 Never, never again.

00:04:09.000 And both of them. 1.00

00:04:10.000 And dude, he was, the whole time I knew this kid when we were teenagers, he was a fucking nutbag. 0.99

00:04:15.000 I mean, he loved bikes. 0.99

00:04:16.000 Anything with two wheels that he could fly, he loved it.

00:04:19.000 And then as soon as that happened, it was like, never again.

00:04:23.000 Ever.

00:04:23.000 Fast cars, though.

00:04:25.000 Fast cars, you have a little more protection.

00:04:27.000 Well, a lot.

00:04:28.000 A lot more protection.

00:04:29.000 Yeah, you can get in an accident and not get hurt at all.

00:04:31.000 I was telling you, somebody rear-ended my Porsche back in L.A. and didn't get hurt.

00:04:36.000 That was a fascinating time because I was doing a lot of yoga.

00:04:39.000 I was doing yoga like three times a week.

00:04:42.000 And I did it that day.

00:04:43.000 And when the guy hit my car, I was like, well, what are you going to do?

00:04:46.000 Calm.

00:04:47.000 It was wild.

00:04:50.000 I was like, this is fascinating.

00:04:51.000 I'm not mad at this dude.

00:04:53.000 The guy didn't have a license.

00:04:54.000 He was illegal.

00:04:56.000 And I go, what are you doing, man?

00:04:57.000 And he goes, I gotta work.

00:04:59.000 I'm like, it's a good answer. 0.99

00:05:01.000 It's a fucking solid answer. 0.99

00:05:02.000 The guy has to work. 0.99

00:05:03.000 And I'm putting myself in his shoes. 0.99

00:05:04.000 I'm like, the fuck would I do if I snuck over here? 0.99

00:05:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:07.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:05:07.000 I'd fucking drive too, man. 1.00

00:05:09.000 Unfortunately, he was on his phone and they had stopped the lanes to move everybody into one lane and he didn't see it in time. 0.99

00:05:17.000 And he slammed on his brakes and just fucking plowed into me. 0.98

00:05:20.000 I got hit in my neighborhood. 0.99

00:05:24.000 The woman... 1.00

00:05:25.000 This is my first car accident.

00:05:28.000 I've been like, fender bender stuff, you know what I mean? 0.88

00:05:30.000 But this was like, actually we got hit on our side.

00:05:33.000 And I... Time slowed down a little bit. 0.97

00:05:36.000 Like it was creepy as shit because I hit the brakes.

00:05:39.000 I had enough time to brake horn turn. 0.93

00:05:41.000 I did it almost like simultaneously.

00:05:42.000 And I started to slide away from her because I could see she wasn't looking.

00:05:46.000 She came flying out of a driveway. 1.00

00:05:47.000 Her head was the other way.

00:05:49.000 And as soon as she turned... 0.99

00:05:50.000 I swear to God, like, out of a fucking movie, like, I zoomed in on her eyes. 1.00

00:05:55.000 Like, I saw her fucking eyes. 1.00

00:05:57.000 And then smoked us right in the side. 1.00

00:05:59.000 Everybody was fine, but that was, like, the first time I got into, like, a real car accident.

00:06:04.000 Legitimate.

00:06:05.000 Because I've been, you know, nicked, bumped, whatever.

00:06:07.000 But nothing like that.

00:06:08.000 That was...

00:06:09.000 I had my Land Cruiser built with rock sliders and metal bumpers just in case it got hit.

00:06:16.000 Because when you have a Land Cruiser and it's elevated, so it's elevated.

00:06:20.000 It's got like a four-inch lift and serious off-road.

00:06:23.000 It's an apocalypse car.

00:06:24.000 It's got a giant gas tank.

00:06:26.000 I literally got it because I don't trust LA. I'm like, if shit goes sideways, you've got to be able to drive over these hills. 0.97

00:06:32.000 I need something that can get me the fuck out of here. 0.98

00:06:35.000 If you're on a road, and then... 0.63

00:06:38.000 Did you hear about those people that died in California?

00:06:41.000 This is not...

00:06:42.000 I don't think you could have done anything in this circumstance, but they were trapped on a road during a wildfire.

00:06:47.000 And the wildfire...

00:06:49.000 It was moving so fast, it killed everybody that was on the road.

00:06:53.000 No.

00:06:53.000 Burned them alive in their cars.

00:06:55.000 That's where you get a Land Cruiser. 0.98

00:06:57.000 Yeah, but even then it wouldn't have helped.

00:06:58.000 It was a bad example.

00:06:59.000 You're trapped.

00:07:00.000 It's trapped there, too.

00:07:01.000 But the point is, if you have a car, you can't go that way or that way.

00:07:04.000 You're not going over hills.

00:07:06.000 But if you have a legitimate four-wheel drive off-road vehicle, it opens up a lot of terrain to you.

00:07:12.000 You can move around better.

00:07:14.000 And this is a dumb thought, but I was like, okay, and also, steel all around it.

00:07:19.000 So if someone plows into me from the side, they're going right into those giant steel rock sliders. 0.79

00:07:25.000 Everything's metal around you.

00:07:27.000 So it's really good for side impacts.

00:07:29.000 How much longer until you get a jetpack?

00:07:32.000 I'm not getting a jetpack.

00:07:33.000 Come on, dude.

00:07:34.000 No, I will not be an early adopter of a jetpack. 0.99

00:07:37.000 If I had the money, I would jetpack the fuck everywhere. 0.99

00:07:40.000 I knew this dude... 0.99

00:07:42.000 Back when I used to do the radio in Denver, and they had this fucking guy who was a jetpack guy, and this guy had been using these experimental jetpacks, and he had no knees. 0.97

00:07:55.000 His knees were destroyed. 0.97

00:07:57.000 Because you have to land with it? 0.99

00:07:58.000 Because he had fucking blowing his knees out. 0.99

00:07:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:08:00.000 But this guy kept doing it.

00:08:01.000 So, like, before the launch, this guy has to strap his knees in.

00:08:05.000 So he has, like, these crazy braces and strapping his knees down and velcroing this.

00:08:10.000 I'll go, what are you doing?

00:08:11.000 And he goes, dude, I've blown both my knees out. 0.99

00:08:13.000 They're both useless. 1.00

00:08:14.000 But he's still flying around in this fucking jetpack. 1.00

00:08:17.000 I would do it. 1.00

00:08:18.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:08:18.000 Back then, it could only go up in the air for 30 seconds. 1.00

00:08:21.000 Yeah, but now they last a long time.

00:08:24.000 How long do they last?

00:08:24.000 I saw the dude doing it over the...

00:08:25.000 You have to look it up how long it...

00:08:26.000 I saw a guy doing it over a body of water.

00:08:29.000 Legitimately, it looked like two minutes.

00:08:30.000 He was just chilling above the water.

00:08:31.000 They have some with wings now.

00:08:33.000 Have you seen the ones with wings?

00:08:34.000 No.

00:08:34.000 Yeah.

00:08:35.000 See, dude, this is what I want.

00:08:35.000 They caught some dude flying around near the airport with it.

00:08:38.000 There was reports of him.

00:08:40.000 In restricted airspace?

00:08:42.000 Yeah, it was like flying near where jets go. 1.00

00:08:45.000 This fucking crazy asshole. 1.00

00:08:46.000 Psycho. 1.00

00:08:47.000 I want to be near jets. 0.62

00:08:49.000 Imagine doing ecstasy and flying around in a jetpack.

00:08:52.000 LAX jetpack mystery.

00:08:53.000 Pirates report seeing man with jetpack flying near planes above LA. That's so wild.

00:09:01.000 See, that's awesome.

00:09:02.000 Remember, I used to have a joke about it. 0.98

00:09:04.000 Where the fuck are the jetpacks? 0.90

00:09:05.000 This was in, like, 2005. Well, we're here. 0.98

00:09:07.000 I thought we'd have jetpacks and robot fuck dolls. 1.00

00:09:10.000 That's what I thought we'd have by now. 1.00

00:09:11.000 Well, you were two for two, man.

00:09:13.000 This car?

00:09:14.000 What?

00:09:14.000 Air car?

00:09:15.000 What is this?

00:09:15.000 It should have said CES. Oh, my God.

00:09:17.000 It says it's really, it works, and I don't know how we're going to use it, but it's a four-seater air car.

00:09:23.000 It's like a drone. 0.96

00:09:24.000 Does it not have a video of a test run or some shit? 0.97

00:09:29.000 I believe it does, yeah. 0.97

00:09:29.000 It says pre-order. 0.97

00:09:31.000 I ain't pre-ordering shit, bro. 0.99

00:09:32.000 I need to hear some reports. 0.99

00:09:34.000 Yeah, dude, test it out, man.

00:09:36.000 Take it for a couple trial runs.

00:09:37.000 It's like an Uber version of it.

00:09:39.000 What?

00:09:39.000 So you can just get it?

00:09:41.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:09:42.000 Remember that rental car company?

00:09:44.000 Does that company still around where you had an app and you could just rent a car and they would drive it right to you?

00:09:49.000 Yeah, I think though.

00:09:50.000 I think so.

00:09:51.000 They're still around?

00:09:51.000 That's cool how it transforms.

00:09:53.000 Look at this fucking thing. 1.00

00:09:53.000 Yeah, it's a drone. 1.00

00:09:54.000 It's like a drone car.

00:09:55.000 Oh my god.

00:09:56.000 And drones today, have you seen those competitions where they have like drone competitions?

00:10:02.000 It's unreal.

00:10:02.000 Where they have cones and poles and holes you have to fly through and they...

00:10:09.000 Those things are incredible now.

00:10:10.000 Get stoned and watch the ones where they go through the buildings.

00:10:13.000 Dude, it's like you're on a ride.

00:10:15.000 It'll go through building windows, sideways, flip upside down, go through different hallways. 1.00

00:10:18.000 This shit is insane. 0.99

00:10:21.000 That would be so dope in VR. That's what I mean. 1.00

00:10:23.000 He'll flip upside down, go through another little tiny holes.

00:10:26.000 That's how they're controlling it.

00:10:27.000 They have a headset on a VR headset, and they're watching it in first person.

00:10:31.000 Oh my god, the control this guy has is incredible.

00:10:33.000 Yeah, it's unreal.

00:10:34.000 These things are amazingly agile.

00:10:38.000 See if you can find those competitions, Jamie.

00:10:41.000 Because I was watching them on Instagram the other day, where these guys were flying through doorways, and they had made a doorway, and it's like they have an obstacle course.

00:10:52.000 Oh, this one's all lit up with neon.

00:10:53.000 That's so cool.

00:10:55.000 Oh my god, this is amazing.

00:10:56.000 I don't know how hard it would be to memorize the course to know where the turns are, because...

00:10:59.000 Well, you remember when we used to play Quake?

00:11:01.000 Dudes would memorize maps. 0.85

00:11:02.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:11:02.000 Same thing.

00:11:03.000 Yeah, guys would...

00:11:04.000 Well, this looks like he's following that light.

00:11:06.000 Do you see that light in front of him?

00:11:07.000 There's probably one in front, yeah.

00:11:07.000 That's like a trail in front of him, so maybe that's...

00:11:09.000 I know they also have this.

00:11:12.000 I also saw someone doing a fishing sim, where he had a real-life fishing pole hooked up to a device that was tracking like a tuna he was pulling.

00:11:20.000 But they have these also where you can just practice this with a real handset, and you're flying it like it would be, but it's all fake, it's all on a computer.

00:11:28.000 The first question, I'd be like, so when I crash this, what does it cost? 0.98

00:11:32.000 Because I'm crashing that fucking thing immediately. 0.99

00:11:33.000 That's so hard. 0.99

00:11:34.000 To get to this guy's level, you have to fuck around with regular drones for a long time. 0.98

00:11:39.000 What do they cost? 0.99

00:11:40.000 I literally don't know.

00:11:41.000 A couple thousand.

00:11:42.000 There's another thing I just saw.

00:11:43.000 It looked like a very goofy video online.

00:11:45.000 I'll try to find it real quick.

00:11:46.000 It's like these, but they're attached to a cord, like a kite, and it's a league where they're racing somewhere.

00:11:51.000 They do dogfights.

00:11:53.000 You know, it's literally like everything else.

00:11:56.000 We were just practicing driving golf balls out there earlier.

00:12:00.000 I can't even hit it.

00:12:01.000 I'm missing.

00:12:02.000 I'm whacking the ground.

00:12:04.000 I don't know how to do it. 0.99

00:12:06.000 You guys are giving me pointers and shit, but I've never done it. 0.94

00:12:09.000 I've went to Topgolf a couple times and just whacked the ball. 0.98

00:12:13.000 I don't know what I'm doing.

00:12:14.000 But when I'm watching you guys, it's fascinating.

00:12:16.000 I'm like, how are you doing it? 0.95

00:12:17.000 Because you hit it so fucking hard. 0.97

00:12:19.000 I was trying to show off for Jamie a little bit. 1.00

00:12:23.000 Dude, you can drive a fucking golf ball. 1.00

00:12:25.000 That shit is impressive as fuck. 1.00

00:12:27.000 Your technique is amazing. 1.00

00:12:28.000 I want you to come with me.

00:12:29.000 It's so smooth.

00:12:30.000 I would love for you to see it live.

00:12:32.000 I want to see it live. 1.00

00:12:33.000 Because Jamie talks a lot of shit. 0.99

00:12:34.000 I want to see you, Jamie, and Hinchcliffe going at it. 1.00

00:12:36.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:12:37.000 No, but I'm saying... 1.00

00:12:38.000 Get baked and drive the car.

00:12:39.000 Hell yeah.

00:12:40.000 If you see pros live, though...

00:12:41.000 I don't know if you've ever seen pros in person, but it's...

00:12:45.000 The way that you're, even this gap of you being like, I don't ever golf, and then you're like, wow, dude, you're good at that.

00:12:50.000 When I watch those guys, it's the same feeling when you go to professional sports, and you're like, that's un-fucking-real how good they are.

00:12:57.000 It's like shocking to watch live.

00:12:59.000 And if you are really good yourself, and you are really good at golf, then you can really appreciate a pro.

00:13:04.000 Oh yeah, dude.

00:13:04.000 Whereas I can kind of appreciate it, but I don't know what's going on.

00:13:07.000 It's sort of like with the UFC. Right.

00:13:09.000 When dudes scramble on the ground and someone's like an elite jiu-jitsu black belt, the people that are practicing jiu-jitsu are like, holy shit, look at that guy. 0.90

00:13:18.000 Yeah.

00:13:18.000 Like Charles Olivero.

00:13:19.000 Watch how he cinches this up. 1.00

00:13:20.000 Holy shit! 1.00

00:13:21.000 Right. 0.99

00:13:22.000 You know, when you see golfing, we had this guy, Fedor Gorst, came in.

00:13:26.000 How old is Fedor?

00:13:27.000 23?

00:13:29.000 22?

00:13:30.000 22?

00:13:30.000 I think so, yeah.

00:13:31.000 22, 23 years old.

00:13:32.000 If not the best pool player in the world, top three for sure.

00:13:35.000 We came in here and we played him on that table.

00:13:37.000 It was wild.

00:13:39.000 Did you stand a little bit of a chance?

00:13:40.000 You're good.

00:13:41.000 I won the first two games.

00:13:41.000 Oh, really?

00:13:42.000 I ran out the first game and I won the second game.

00:13:44.000 Take that, Fedor.

00:13:44.000 I got lucky.

00:13:45.000 Well, he gave me a shot in the first game.

00:13:48.000 I think he broke and didn't have a shot on the object ball.

00:13:53.000 He pushed out and I ran out.

00:13:55.000 Where's he from?

00:13:55.000 Something like that.

00:13:56.000 He missed or ran out?

00:13:57.000 I forget.

00:13:57.000 He's from Russia, originally.

00:13:59.000 And he's got a green card playing pool in the United States.

00:14:02.000 But, dude, he is incredible.

00:14:04.000 Like, the level between me and him, who's like, I'm like a B player.

00:14:09.000 You know, probably like you are in golf.

00:14:10.000 I'm like a B player. 1.00

00:14:11.000 And then watching him play, like, holy fuck, man. 1.00

00:14:15.000 It's a different world. 1.00

00:14:16.000 It's humiliating.

00:14:17.000 Yeah.

00:14:18.000 He's so good, and his cue ball position is so perfect.

00:14:23.000 When he's moving the ball around, it's so effortless and smooth, and that ball just slides right where it's supposed to go, and then it knocks that ball in, the ball slides right where it's supposed to go, and it's all the same speed.

00:14:36.000 It's just this smooth, effortless stroke.

00:14:40.000 Oh my god, it's amazing.

00:14:41.000 But that's what you do.

00:14:42.000 That's the difference.

00:14:43.000 That's what I was like.

00:14:44.000 You know, mediocre at best at pool, but it's because my fluidity is off with that.

00:14:50.000 I'm not good at it.

00:14:51.000 Where yours is like that.

00:14:52.000 That's the same thing with golf.

00:14:53.000 It's all fluidity. 0.98

00:14:55.000 I could play, if I played every day for a year, I could be a shitty pro. 0.95

00:15:01.000 At pool? 0.92

00:15:02.000 Yeah.

00:15:03.000 I'd go to tournaments and get knocked out.

00:15:07.000 I'd be in the top 32 of a 50-man tournament.

00:15:11.000 But you do good enough to keep up.

00:15:12.000 Yeah, but I could never keep up with those guys.

00:15:15.000 To keep up with guys like Fedor, first of all, you have to be practicing eight hours a day for years.

00:15:21.000 It's not just that I could pick up and go eight hours a day and be as good as he is.

00:15:25.000 It's not going to happen.

00:15:27.000 The gap is so far.

00:15:29.000 I would have to be fully dedicated to being a professional pool player, because all those guys, They're the top of the top.

00:15:34.000 They play eight, ten hours a day.

00:15:37.000 Shane Van Boning, who is one of the best, if not the best in the world, he's right there with Fedor.

00:15:41.000 I want to have a challenge match with him and Fedor here on that table and just stream it.

00:15:47.000 When he would practice his break for five, six hours in a row, just rack the balls like a robot, ba-blam!

00:15:55.000 Rack the balls like a robot, ba-blam! 1.00

00:15:58.000 Crack the balls. 1.00

00:15:59.000 Just over and over. 0.99

00:16:00.000 And he has a hearing aid.

00:16:02.000 He's deaf. 0.90

00:16:03.000 He was born deaf.

00:16:03.000 He just shuts his hearing aid off.

00:16:05.000 So he can't hear anything.

00:16:06.000 All he does is focus on the task. 0.99

00:16:09.000 That's fucking wild. 1.00

00:16:10.000 And he's a monster. 1.00

00:16:11.000 He's the most evil breaker in the world. 0.97

00:16:14.000 Because he'll play ten ball and he'll break and make six balls in the break.

00:16:17.000 So you're playing ten ball, but he's playing four ball.

00:16:21.000 And he's not like a big giant guy either.

00:16:23.000 It's just a smooth...

00:16:25.000 It's the way you're driving the golf ball, that smooth, perfect technique.

00:16:31.000 That's what he has when he drives the cue ball.

00:16:32.000 It's amazing.

00:16:33.000 Because you don't need to be...

00:16:34.000 I've noticed some of those guys...

00:16:35.000 I mean, I know almost nothing about Poole, but anytime I've seen it, like either you've shown me... 0.98

00:16:40.000 Not all these guys are big boys, but they hit the fucking shit out of it, even if they're smaller guys. 0.98

00:16:47.000 They let the cue stick do the work for them, though. 0.99

00:16:49.000 When they're doing it, they're not muscling it.

00:16:52.000 It's like an acceleration of the arm.

00:16:55.000 There's a thing called a slip stroke where you actually let the cue go, and you kind of catch it at the bottom of the cue.

00:17:03.000 A lot of these old-time, really smooth players, they would play with a slip stroke.

00:17:08.000 And when you watch a guy with a slipstroke, you're like, oh my god.

00:17:10.000 Like, you have to be so advanced to be able to play smooth and effortless with a slipstroke.

00:17:16.000 You let go of it for a fraction of a second?

00:17:17.000 You let go of it. 1.00

00:17:18.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:17:18.000 You let go of it. 1.00

00:17:19.000 I've done that on accident.

00:17:20.000 It slips out of your hand, you catch it.

00:17:22.000 But it's because they're cradling that stick.

00:17:24.000 They're not gripping it.

00:17:25.000 Like, if you watch someone who doesn't know how to play, they grab it like a baseball bat.

00:17:28.000 But if you watch, like, Fedor, or you watch, like, Efren Reyes, like, the best of the best, they cradle it in their hand.

00:17:36.000 They're barely holding on to it.

00:17:38.000 And they're letting their arm move and letting the stick do the work.

00:17:41.000 I'm choking it out every time.

00:17:43.000 Google Shane Van Boning make six balls on the break.

00:17:46.000 You watch this dude break, and I know it's just breaking and pull, but it's perfection.

00:17:53.000 It's like something...

00:17:55.000 You ever see Jiro Dreams of Sushi?

00:17:57.000 I love it.

00:17:57.000 They made that dude work on the eggs for like a year.

00:18:00.000 That's all he did was try to...

00:18:02.000 Perfect, making his egg dish.

00:18:04.000 And the one son did it forever, still didn't promote him.

00:18:06.000 No!

00:18:06.000 He's like, not good enough.

00:18:07.000 He's like, you suck, bro. 1.00

00:18:08.000 You suck at sushi. 1.00

00:18:09.000 Yeah, you suck, man. 1.00

00:18:10.000 Well, it's like that, but this guy's got that with the break shot. 1.00

00:18:13.000 Yeah.

00:18:13.000 So it's like, there's a Japanese term for that when you practice this one thing over and over and over again in an attempt to achieve enlightenment.

00:18:22.000 Watch this, motherfucker. 0.99

00:18:24.000 So this is ten ball. 1.00

00:18:25.000 There's ten balls there.

00:18:26.000 Watch this. 0.98

00:18:27.000 Watch the perfection of this.

00:18:28.000 Boom! 1.00

00:18:29.000 See how smooth that shit is? 1.00

00:18:31.000 Look at those balls just scattering, son. 1.00

00:18:33.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:18:35.000 Exactly! 1.00

00:18:36.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:18:37.000 It's like perfection.

00:18:39.000 Like he just knows where to hit it.

00:18:42.000 He knows what speed to hit it.

00:18:44.000 He knows what side.

00:18:45.000 He's hitting not even flat on the one ball.

00:18:48.000 He's hitting it slightly to the side.

00:18:51.000 Well, that one he hit it pretty flat, actually.

00:18:52.000 Is this the cat that was born deaf?

00:18:53.000 Yep, he's deaf. 0.56

00:18:55.000 Yeah, and when he plays, he shuts his hearing aid off. 1.00

00:18:57.000 He doesn't hear shit. 1.00

00:18:58.000 You can call him whatever the fuck you want. 1.00

00:19:01.000 He's out there running out on you, son. 0.99

00:19:03.000 So this is the opposite of that in golf, where they're going to play in a couple weeks in Phoenix.

00:19:08.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:19:08.000 It's called the Waste Management.

00:19:09.000 They build this giant arena around this hole.

00:19:11.000 It's like 17,000 people, and they're all cheering while you play. 1.00

00:19:15.000 It's a fucking party. 1.00

00:19:16.000 It's like the opposite of golf. 1.00

00:19:17.000 Oh, wow.

00:19:18.000 And this guy hit a hole in one.

00:19:19.000 But how many holes is it?

00:19:21.000 That's just on a par three.

00:19:22.000 It's a normal tournament.

00:19:26.000 Oh my god, that's incredible.

00:19:28.000 That's incredible.

00:19:29.000 People start throwing beer from the stands.

00:19:31.000 That's incredible.

00:19:31.000 See that?

00:19:33.000 Come on.

00:19:35.000 That's incredible. 0.94

00:19:36.000 With all that pressure to do that is pretty fucking wild. 0.90

00:19:39.000 Amazing. 0.85

00:19:40.000 This is what golf should be.

00:19:41.000 That's a great idea.

00:19:43.000 Who came up with this idea?

00:19:44.000 These guys did in Phoenix.

00:19:45.000 Waste Management.

00:19:46.000 Literally, the trash company.

00:19:47.000 They sponsor this. 0.98

00:19:49.000 That's the best golf ever.

00:19:51.000 That's real golf.

00:19:52.000 So Poole has a thing that's not as grand as that, but it's called the Moscone Cup.

00:19:57.000 And the difference between the Moscone Cup and everything else is the crowd cheers and they go nuts.

00:20:01.000 And it's USA versus Europe.

00:20:03.000 So it's teams.

00:20:04.000 So if you and I were on Team USA, you would hit the four ball and give position for me to play the five ball and then I'd give you the six ball.

00:20:11.000 And we'd go back and forth like that.

00:20:12.000 So you and I would be playing against two people from Europe.

00:20:15.000 And everyone's screaming and cheering.

00:20:18.000 You're up!

00:20:19.000 You're up!

00:20:20.000 USA! USA! It gets wild!

00:20:23.000 But then they all quiet down when the guy's about to shoot.

00:20:26.000 And then it's loud again.

00:20:27.000 It's loud again.

00:20:27.000 I see.

00:20:27.000 I love that.

00:20:28.000 He makes the ball.

00:20:28.000 Yeah!

00:20:29.000 See if you can find Moscone Cup highlights.

00:20:33.000 Find Moscone Cup highlights.

00:20:35.000 Now everybody kind of knows about it and it's like the one pool tournament where everyone's gonna scream.

00:20:41.000 There's no quiet in the crowd.

00:20:44.000 There's no quiet.

00:20:45.000 Everyone's screaming.

00:20:46.000 But they all know the rhythm of it.

00:20:47.000 Watch this.

00:20:53.000 Dude, that's awesome.

00:20:55.000 So people are screaming and cheering while these guys are playing.

00:20:59.000 That's pool, man.

00:21:00.000 Yeah.

00:21:01.000 That's what it should be. 0.99

00:21:06.000 Let's fucking go! 1.00

00:21:07.000 Losing it. 1.00

00:21:08.000 Look at this.

00:21:09.000 That was the most awkward chest bump ever.

00:21:11.000 You know why?

00:21:12.000 Because they didn't want to bang up their cues.

00:21:14.000 Right.

00:21:14.000 They didn't want to...

00:21:15.000 Put it to the side.

00:21:15.000 They had their...

00:21:16.000 See, watch how your chest bumps.

00:21:17.000 They're both like, don't touch my cue. 1.00

00:21:18.000 Don't fuck my cue up. 0.99

00:21:21.000 See? 0.99

00:21:21.000 The cue, easy, easy, easy with the cue, easy with the cue. 0.99

00:21:27.000 That's Josh Filler.

00:21:28.000 He's one of the best in the world.

00:21:29.000 And he's got a wood shaft, so he's got it like, hey.

00:21:32.000 Some guys have carbon fiber shafts.

00:21:33.000 They're a little more loosey-goosey, because you can kind of bang those around.

00:21:36.000 But wood shafts get a little nick in it, and then you feel it when you're playing. 0.95

00:21:40.000 It bothers the shit out of you.

00:21:41.000 Just a little, tiny... 0.97

00:21:43.000 The tiniest thing, you can't even find it.

00:21:45.000 You can't even find it by looking at it.

00:21:46.000 You have to almost be playing, and then when you feel it, you stop. 1.00

00:21:50.000 And you go, where's that little motherfucker? 1.00

00:21:52.000 And then you gotta spit on it. 0.99

00:21:53.000 You get some water, and you put it on the wood, and the wood will swell back up to where it is.

00:21:59.000 And then you burnish it, you get it all hot, and you put a little bit more water on, the wood swells a little bit more.

00:22:04.000 I can't help it.

00:22:05.000 Come on, dude.

00:22:06.000 You got to spit on it and make it swell.

00:22:08.000 You got to.

00:22:08.000 Spit on that wood and make it swell.

00:22:10.000 Spit on it.

00:22:10.000 You know what that reminds me of?

00:22:12.000 They just posted a clip of a dart championship, you know, and when they lose it in the background, and it was like, they call it like a nines, two guys have nines, or something like only nine darts.

00:22:24.000 So two guys both had nines.

00:22:27.000 And then the first guy obviously won.

00:22:28.000 But it was like, I guess this doesn't happen that often that it's only nines.

00:22:32.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:22:32.000 And they posted it somewhere.

00:22:33.000 Oh, right here. 1.00

00:22:34.000 Watch this fucking clip, Joe. 1.00

00:22:40.000 That's insane. 1.00

00:22:42.000 180!

00:22:42.000 I love these announcers.

00:22:47.000 Look at the rhythm.

00:22:49.000 Oh my god.

00:22:51.000 That's so accurate, dude.

00:22:53.000 That's so crazy.

00:22:54.000 You can tell.

00:22:56.000 This is insanity.

00:23:01.000 That's insanity.

00:23:05.000 Look how casual, too. 1.00

00:23:09.000 Dude, they fucking lose it! 0.99

00:23:10.000 You know what's funny? 0.99

00:23:11.000 I know that dude probably has an English accent, but he totally looks like he's from Kentucky.

00:23:15.000 Yeah!

00:23:17.000 That guy looks... 0.99

00:23:18.000 Oh, he fucked up, sorry! 0.99

00:23:19.000 First miss. 0.99

00:23:20.000 That guy looks English, but this dude, this dude looks like he's straight out of Kansas.

00:23:25.000 Yeah.

00:23:25.000 Look at him.

00:23:26.000 That's a corn-fed Englishman.

00:23:27.000 Yeah, it's a big beef boy.

00:23:28.000 Look at him.

00:23:30.000 That dude could be at a Luke Combs concert.

00:23:33.000 Yes!

00:23:34.000 Double 12!

00:23:37.000 So sick. 1.00

00:23:38.000 Suck it! 1.00

00:23:40.000 Suck it! 1.00

00:23:42.000 You gotta have a crowd. 1.00

00:23:44.000 Dude, that's so fun.

00:23:44.000 You gotta have a crowd!

00:23:45.000 I wanna go to one of these so bad, one time. 1.00

00:23:48.000 Pool needs a fucking crowd. 0.98

00:23:49.000 They have a league starting up in about a year that's gonna be indoor golf like this. 1.00

00:23:53.000 Monday nights, like Monday night football event, they're gonna have 15,000 people watching golf.

00:23:57.000 Like, we just played on a simulator.

00:23:58.000 Yeah.

00:23:59.000 When it's gonna be like Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, the best golfers in the world doing it.

00:24:03.000 Wow!

00:24:03.000 I wonder, as I was thinking, I was like, can you do a pool that way?

00:24:07.000 5,000 people.

00:24:08.000 You could, but you'd have to have...

00:24:11.000 The reason why the Moscone Cup is so good is because you have this USA versus Europe rivalry.

00:24:16.000 And it goes back and forth.

00:24:17.000 I think the Europeans have been winning more lately.

00:24:21.000 Can we recruit?

00:24:22.000 Can we draft?

00:24:24.000 We have the best people already.

00:24:29.000 You couldn't get better people.

00:24:31.000 The people that are already competing...

00:24:33.000 If you wanted to start your own team...

00:24:35.000 You could recruit.

00:24:36.000 But, I mean, like, Team USA already has the best players in the United States.

00:24:40.000 And Team Europe has the best players in Europe.

00:24:43.000 I meant, like, in sometimes the Olympics, an American might end up playing in Italy because they have some traced grandfathers.

00:24:50.000 Yeah, you can say...

00:24:51.000 Yeah, maybe we can get some Filipino cats.

00:24:54.000 Come over here.

00:24:55.000 We'll sneak in some ties. 0.99

00:24:57.000 There's Filipino guys that you never even heard of that will fucking beat anybody in the world. 1.00

00:25:02.000 It's crazy how good they are. 0.99

00:25:04.000 Yeah, why the Philippines?

00:25:05.000 There's a lot of dudes out of the Philippines.

00:25:06.000 It's really popular over there.

00:25:09.000 Efren Reyes, who's a legend, he's like the Babe Ruth of Poole. 0.99

00:25:13.000 When he goes to the Philippines, that guy gets fucking mobbed. 0.96

00:25:17.000 There's all these matches where him playing, he gambles still. 1.00

00:25:20.000 He's old as fuck. 0.99

00:25:21.000 He can't play as good as he used to, so guys have to actually give him handicaps to give him spots. 1.00

00:25:26.000 Like, if we're playing ten ball, like, say, he would have to make, like, the seven and out.

00:25:33.000 Ooh.

00:25:35.000 Ooh.

00:25:57.000 Yeah, it's a big spot.

00:25:58.000 What he's really saying is, I'm so much better than you.

00:26:01.000 He's saying, I'm going to lock you up, I'm going to run out on you, I'm going to put you in a coma, I'm going to win all the games.

00:26:05.000 Do people keep, like in golf, you keep a handicap.

00:26:07.000 Can you keep a handicap in pool?

00:26:09.000 No, there's a thing called the Fargo scoring.

00:26:12.000 Fargo scoring, it calculates how often you miss, bad position play, it calculates scratching on the break, all these different things, and you get like a number.

00:26:22.000 That's your Fargo score.

00:26:23.000 Bad safeties, if you have a bad safety and leave the ball out, that counts against your score, I think.

00:26:27.000 What's your Fargo score?

00:26:28.000 I don't know.

00:26:29.000 But I was never good.

00:26:30.000 I was always B-level.

00:26:31.000 I've won tournaments before, like a local tournament, but that's against other B players.

00:26:36.000 What would a good Fargo score be?

00:26:38.000 I think it's in the 900s.

00:26:40.000 Oh, the more is better.

00:26:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:42.000 It's like 100 is the perfect score.

00:26:44.000 And some of these guys, they'll win matches with like 937. Yeah.

00:26:48.000 Which is just insanity.

00:26:49.000 Just insanity.

00:26:50.000 They're just not missing.

00:26:52.000 We watched this match with that kid Fedor, where he ran out seven racks in a row to win this set on this guy in this high-pressure tournament.

00:26:59.000 In a row?

00:26:59.000 In a row.

00:27:00.000 Just broke and ran out perfectly seven games in a row, and you're like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:27:04.000 He did that to me out here. 0.99

00:27:05.000 He did it multiple times.

00:27:07.000 He broke and ran out like four or five racks in a row.

00:27:10.000 We're just sitting there watching.

00:27:11.000 This guy breaking right out, breaking right out, breaking right out. 1.00

00:27:13.000 Putting out a fucking clinic. 1.00

00:27:14.000 A clinic. 1.00

00:27:15.000 Yeah, see, that's great.

00:27:15.000 It's like, I love that with everything, man.

00:27:17.000 I love when a guy can do that.

00:27:18.000 I love when people can do that especially in something that I don't even do.

00:27:23.000 Because this way, I don't have to get obsessed and run home and try to practice.

00:27:27.000 I can just enjoy it.

00:27:28.000 Like when I watch Gary Clark Jr. play guitar, I get obsessed watching someone who's so good do something I have zero...

00:27:36.000 I don't understand what's happening.

00:27:38.000 I know you're doing this and the fingers move.

00:27:41.000 I don't know what's happening other than that.

00:27:43.000 I just love that, that I can just watch it.

00:27:45.000 I like it if I know I don't have that much interest in it because then I don't get jealous and I don't go, I want to pick one up so fucking bad.

00:27:52.000 Oh yeah, that's a problem with golf.

00:27:54.000 See, I can't get involved with golf because I know I would love it.

00:27:58.000 You will.

00:27:59.000 Everybody loves it.

00:28:00.000 It's so fun. 0.92

00:28:01.000 Nobody takes up golf and goes, this sucks.

00:28:03.000 Everybody's like, dude, I'm so obsessed. 0.99

00:28:05.000 Like, Tony became a fucking straight-up junkie. 0.99

00:28:07.000 Jamie became a straight-up junkie. 1.00

00:28:09.000 I know, I see him.

00:28:09.000 Just from moving here.

00:28:10.000 Fiending in the garage with the track man.

00:28:12.000 The guy's out there.

00:28:13.000 First of all, he starts out normal, right?

00:28:15.000 He started out with just like a little piece of grass and his little computer setup. 0.98

00:28:19.000 Now he's got a net around it and a new fucking radar system to tell how fast the ball's going. 0.98

00:28:25.000 That's right. 0.99

00:28:26.000 He's filming himself to make sure his technique is right.

00:28:29.000 Yes.

00:28:30.000 Are you checking your technique against something or no?

00:28:33.000 No, just a feel. 0.99

00:28:34.000 Oh, you run shit through a program? 0.99

00:28:36.000 Well, that's the next level. 1.00

00:28:37.000 Yeah, that is the next level up.

00:28:38.000 I can hook up three high-speed cameras to that.

00:28:40.000 I can have my coach if I had one.

00:28:43.000 It goes right to his phone, basically.

00:28:44.000 Why don't you have a coach?

00:28:45.000 You need a coach, Jamie.

00:28:46.000 I've talked to a few people.

00:28:48.000 Shout out Chris Coma.

00:28:48.000 You do need a coach.

00:28:50.000 Coaching is giant.

00:28:50.000 I haven't actually been fully coached yet.

00:28:52.000 I played pool for a long time before I got coached.

00:28:55.000 I got coached a little bit a couple of times or a few lessons when I was starting out in the beginning, in the early days.

00:29:00.000 But then I met this dude, Max Eberle, who's like a professional instructor and also like a top flight pro, and he coached me.

00:29:07.000 Like, he gave me actual lessons.

00:29:09.000 Yeah.

00:29:09.000 And when he gives you, like, you learn so much.

00:29:12.000 You learn what you're doing wrong, you learn why he's doing it this way, you learn, like, position play, what's the right way to move a ball to another ball.

00:29:21.000 But in golf, everyone's stroke can be different.

00:29:26.000 So is there a single perfect stroke that everyone's trying to emulate?

00:29:32.000 No.

00:29:32.000 So it's the same thing.

00:29:33.000 Yeah, it's the same thing.

00:29:34.000 Everything's all weird.

00:29:35.000 There was a guy named Keith McCready and he had the greatest stroke of all time and his arm was totally sideways. 0.97

00:29:40.000 It was totally fucked up. 0.96

00:29:42.000 It's supposed to be 90 degrees from your elbow down. 0.99

00:29:45.000 If someone was teaching you, like if you watch a snooker player for example, they call it snooker. 0.99

00:29:50.000 They're playing on a giant ass table with little tiny balls. 0.84

00:29:53.000 They have to have perfect technique. 0.99

00:29:55.000 The way they hit the ball is so straight and so smooth.

00:29:59.000 And they make really good pool players.

00:30:01.000 A lot of those guys come over and start playing pool and dominate because they're so accurate.

00:30:05.000 Because they're used to these little tiny balls and they're used to having this perfect stroke. 0.99

00:30:09.000 But pool players, they do all kinds of different shit. 0.99

00:30:13.000 Like some guys, you've got guys who have that slip stroke thing going on. 0.98

00:30:17.000 You've got guys who are like Keith McCready, who's the rarest of the rarest, totally sideways with his arm.

00:30:22.000 Like his arm would be like this while he's playing.

00:30:24.000 He wouldn't be playing like this.

00:30:25.000 But it's out here.

00:30:26.000 It's out on the side.

00:30:27.000 But it works.

00:30:27.000 Because he learned how to play when he was a little kid and he couldn't reach the table.

00:30:31.000 Oh, wow.

00:30:31.000 So he had his arm up there like this.

00:30:33.000 Oh, that's genius.

00:30:34.000 Because, you know, the table's where his chin is.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 So he's learning how to play with his arm sideways.

00:30:38.000 That's like the guy, Jamie, what's a Korean guy that swings out of his shoes? 1.00

00:30:41.000 You know, a little Korean guy who literally flies out of his shoes? 1.00

00:30:44.000 Dude, you should see this guy. 1.00

00:30:45.000 It's the funniest shit you've ever seen. 0.99

00:30:47.000 He is a pro golfer who has a swing like a guy who started a month ago. 1.00

00:30:52.000 And he literally will swing so hard his body will turn, he'll drop shit. 0.99

00:30:57.000 Watch this guy. 0.99

00:30:59.000 That's an easy one.

00:31:01.000 This is...

00:31:02.000 But is he good?

00:31:05.000 Yeah, he's good.

00:31:06.000 Look at that.

00:31:07.000 He falls down.

00:31:08.000 That's hilarious.

00:31:10.000 That's hilarious.

00:31:11.000 Look at it on the right, Joe.

00:31:12.000 Straight down the middle.

00:31:14.000 300 yards.

00:31:15.000 Yeah, as long as it's repeatable.

00:31:16.000 I mean, that's the thing with pool.

00:31:20.000 It's repeatable.

00:31:21.000 That's the thing with archery.

00:31:22.000 That's the thing with a lot of things.

00:31:23.000 A lot of people have goofy archery stances, but if it's repeatable...

00:31:27.000 Yeah.

00:31:28.000 The question is, is it repeatable under pressure?

00:31:31.000 Because pressure is a fascinating thing, because you just want it to be over.

00:31:35.000 You have anxiety, you rush things, you fuck things up.

00:31:38.000 And you've got to learn how to stay inside your technique and inside your mindset and inside your pre-shot routine, even under pressure.

00:31:48.000 So that's got to be the same with everything.

00:31:51.000 That's why it's really important to learn great technique.

00:31:55.000 If you have your own flair, you should learn how to do it right first.

00:32:00.000 Thousands and millions of people have been doing this.

00:32:03.000 They figured out how to do it right.

00:32:05.000 You could have variations and deviations of that, but there's certain things like with Taekwondo, when I was teaching, it was very hard to teach someone who had already taken bad classes.

00:32:14.000 So if someone had went to like a karate school and they were kicking with their knee down and they had no power, it was all in the legs and not in the hips, And you would try to, like, teach these people, under pressure, they would always revert back to their earlier form.

00:32:29.000 Right.

00:32:30.000 Under sparring pressure.

00:32:31.000 Under fighting. 0.99

00:32:32.000 When they were fighting in competitions, they always, when shit would get wild, they'd always revert. 0.97

00:32:37.000 And they would lose power, they'd lose speed. 0.94

00:32:40.000 You lose a direct linear line to the attack point.

00:32:44.000 You're deviating.

00:32:45.000 You have too much wit.

00:32:46.000 Like, when you see people throwing looping punches, sometimes they work.

00:32:50.000 Yeah.

00:32:50.000 Sometimes they work.

00:32:51.000 But...

00:32:52.000 Most of the time, you're better off if you have that as an option, but you straight punch most of the time. 0.99

00:32:59.000 Your hooks are clean, your straight punch is clean, but every now and then you can do some wild shit and get away with it. 0.91

00:33:05.000 But you have to learn how to do everything else first. 0.96

00:33:08.000 Otherwise, you leave too many openings.

00:33:12.000 That's got to be the same with golf.

00:33:13.000 It's got to be the same with everything. 0.75

00:33:14.000 Well, yeah, well, it's, you know, like, if somebody had lessons before, the trick is, what he knows, is, like, sometimes they have to untangle, like a fucking phone wire, what someone else has done to you.

00:33:26.000 Because you can keep changing as you get older, your body will change, you know, like Tiger goes through it, his back, so he changed the way he swings, like, that's the same thing, and your techniques have to change with time and your body and your limits, you know what I mean?

00:33:35.000 Mm-hmm.

00:33:36.000 And guys will pick a style, kind of stick to it, and then tweak it over time because you've got to find the thing that literally...

00:33:46.000 I equate it to when I started snowboarding, learning how to go to your toe side.

00:33:50.000 Everyone can heel side. 1.00

00:33:51.000 Everyone can stop like this with their back to the mountain.

00:33:54.000 But face to the mountain is always so scary at first because you feel like you're going to... 0.99

00:33:57.000 Catch an edge and hit your fucking head, which you do when you're starting. 0.93

00:34:00.000 But once you learn your version of how to shift your weight, it's like, it's riding a bike, cliche, but you immediately go, I know exactly how my body does that. 1.00

00:34:11.000 You feel the moment you learn it, you go, Oh.

00:34:14.000 Do you remember those hoverboards we had at the old studio?

00:34:16.000 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:34:17.000 Little wheelie things?

00:34:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:18.000 The first time I got on the thing, I could not fucking stand still. 0.93

00:34:21.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:34:21.000 My friend Tate had to hold my arm. 0.98

00:34:23.000 I was like...

00:34:24.000 I was like falling.

00:34:25.000 Like, you've seen the video of Mike Tyson falling?

00:34:27.000 Yeah.

00:34:27.000 Mike Tyson!

00:34:28.000 Yeah.

00:34:28.000 Mike Tyson.

00:34:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:34:29.000 Who's a fucking better athlete than Mike Tyson? 0.99

00:34:31.000 Falls on his ass riding one of those things. 0.99

00:34:33.000 But then once I got the hang of it, dude, I could just cruise around. 0.99

00:34:36.000 Yeah.

00:34:37.000 It's like my body knew exactly what it did, and it just goes, oh, we got a program for that.

00:34:41.000 Yeah.

00:34:42.000 They plug it in.

00:34:42.000 Plug it in.

00:34:43.000 And then all of a sudden, I could just...

00:34:44.000 Jamie and I were doing it all the time. 0.99

00:34:47.000 But Jamie fell and broke his ass bone. 0.99

00:34:49.000 Like, literally broke his ass bone. 1.00

00:34:51.000 I was fucking around. 1.00

00:34:51.000 He's gonna say he was fucking around, but he wasn't. 1.00

00:34:53.000 He was cruising. 0.99

00:34:53.000 Oh, he was definitely fucking around. 0.99

00:34:54.000 Before you do it. 0.99

00:34:55.000 He was always fucking around. 0.99

00:34:56.000 I was trying to film and do his different stuff. 0.99

00:34:57.000 I just took my eye off the prize for a second.

00:34:58.000 Did you break your tailbone for real?

00:34:59.000 Nah, I don't think so.

00:35:01.000 He broke his tailbone.

00:35:01.000 I got hurt though, for sure.

00:35:02.000 Bro, you were hurt for a year.

00:35:04.000 I probably still am hurt.

00:35:05.000 Alright, you broke your tailbone.

00:35:06.000 Bro, I tried to cover it up.

00:35:07.000 I know people that have broken their tailbone.

00:35:09.000 It's real similar in all the...

00:35:11.000 I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I think it's real similar.

00:35:14.000 I fell on my side on the tailbone, technically, so it would have been something in my hip.

00:35:18.000 No, you can break your hip bone, your tailbone, by falling on your hip.

00:35:22.000 If you hit, look, any time you're putting that kind of pressure on your hip, when you're falling and all your weight is going down to concrete, which is what it was, we have polished concrete floors, it's immovable, and you're hitting bone, and all kinds of stuff goes crack! 0.97

00:35:39.000 Yeah, it's gonna fucking hurt. 0.80

00:35:39.000 Stuff up here goes crack, there goes crack. 0.80

00:35:43.000 When I fell skiing the last time I skied, I fucking cracked- I got what's called an insufficiency fracture, where it fractured at the top where my shin meets my cartilage. 0.99

00:35:53.000 Yeah, I was like, fuck skiing. 1.00

00:35:55.000 Fuck that. 1.00

00:35:55.000 Fuck this. 1.00

00:35:56.000 Well, that's like the first time you snowboard. 1.00

00:35:57.000 You fall on your ass, dude. 1.00

00:35:58.000 It hurts so bad. 1.00

00:36:00.000 Yeah.

00:36:01.000 Because your body's not used to that kind of fall.

00:36:03.000 Not since you were a baby learning how to walk. 1.00

00:36:05.000 Was your ass squishy enough to bounce? 1.00

00:36:07.000 Now you get older, dude. 1.00

00:36:09.000 You break.

00:36:10.000 Yeah, it hurts.

00:36:10.000 My boy Shane Dorian, he's a world champion big wave surfer.

00:36:14.000 He was snowboarding a year and a half ago.

00:36:17.000 Two years ago, actually. 1.00

00:36:18.000 And just blew his fucking knee out, man. 1.00

00:36:21.000 Slammed into a tree. 1.00

00:36:22.000 And this is a guy who's a professional surfer.

00:36:25.000 I think he tore his ACL and his MCL. He had to get surgery.

00:36:29.000 And then we hooked him up with Ways to Well here in Austin.

00:36:32.000 They stem celled him.

00:36:34.000 And fixed his name. 0.99

00:36:35.000 Fixed his shit fast. 0.99

00:36:36.000 Well, fixed it after he'd gone through a lot of rehabilitation. 0.99

00:36:39.000 But that was the big thing that really helped him and pushed him over the edge and got him back to it.

00:36:43.000 Yeah, it gets scary. 0.99

00:36:45.000 You're a fucking pro surfer? 1.00

00:36:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:47.000 To be doing that? 1.00

00:36:48.000 That seems so insane to me.

00:36:49.000 Yeah, but snowboarding is so funny.

00:36:50.000 It must be so exciting. 0.99

00:36:51.000 Riding down a fucking mountain is so fun. 0.99

00:36:53.000 My buddy just broke a couple ribs. 0.99

00:36:55.000 He was with his kids, and we got this weird text chain that was like, hey, did you hear what happened? 0.99

00:37:00.000 At first, whenever you hear skiing shit, I immediately are like, what the fuck happened? 0.99

00:37:05.000 Right. 1.00

00:37:06.000 Luckily, all he did was break a few ribs and... 0.99

00:37:08.000 I mean, he's fucked up, but he's fine. 0.98

00:37:10.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:37:10.000 Bro, we lost Sonny Bono. 0.99

00:37:12.000 I know, dude.

00:37:13.000 God bless.

00:37:13.000 We miss you, man.

00:37:14.000 Sonny Bono, we lost Sonny Bono into a fucking tree. 1.00

00:37:17.000 Lost him. 1.00

00:37:17.000 Got him. 1.00

00:37:17.000 The tree got him. 1.00

00:37:18.000 The tree got his ass down. 0.99

00:37:19.000 Boom! 1.00

00:37:20.000 Don't fuck with those trees. 1.00

00:37:21.000 Bro, that must be a horrible way to go. 1.00

00:37:23.000 I do not go in there. 1.00

00:37:25.000 You see the tree and you know there ain't a goddamn thing you can do to stop that motherfucker. 1.00

00:37:29.000 No thanks. 1.00

00:37:29.000 Boom! 1.00

00:37:30.000 I'm sticking to where I'm supposed to.

00:37:32.000 People are ballsy that go off. 1.00

00:37:34.000 If you're really good, people do it all the time, but I don't need that shit. 1.00

00:37:38.000 I don't need to clip a tree. 0.99

00:37:39.000 So many people get hurt skiing.

00:37:41.000 I mean, it's very fun, but boy, there's a lot of orthopedic surgeons in Aspen.

00:37:47.000 Yeah, they're like, keep skiing, man.

00:37:48.000 Yeah.

00:37:48.000 We love it.

00:37:49.000 Keep going.

00:37:49.000 I want to buy a Ferrari.

00:37:51.000 I want to buy a Ferrari.

00:37:54.000 Come on.

00:37:54.000 I want my sixth house, man.

00:37:55.000 Get up to that.

00:37:55.000 Get up to that mountain.

00:37:57.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:37:57.000 But you fucking... 1.00

00:37:59.000 You get a thrill. 1.00

00:38:01.000 You get some juice out of it. 1.00

00:38:02.000 The guy with the fucking jetpack is the reason why he had all those straps on his knees. 0.99

00:38:07.000 I want that so bad, dude. 1.00

00:38:08.000 Just get one for me, will you, so I can come use it?

00:38:10.000 See if you can find the jetpack with the wings.

00:38:12.000 The guy flying a jetpack with wings.

00:38:14.000 Because I saw one of those, I was like, oh, this is next level jetpack.

00:38:17.000 Because this is like a movie.

00:38:19.000 Yeah.

00:38:21.000 And then does he tip forward with the wings?

00:38:23.000 Or does he stay upright?

00:38:25.000 I'm not sure.

00:38:26.000 This is a little different.

00:38:27.000 This guy's got a wingsuit on with some jet-powered jetpack. 1.00

00:38:30.000 Oh, fuck! 1.00

00:38:31.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:38:31.000 Oh my god! 1.00

00:38:35.000 Oh my god, that's so insane.

00:38:38.000 That's nuts.

00:38:39.000 The wingsuit's insane, period.

00:38:41.000 Period.

00:38:42.000 My boy Andy Stumpf had the world record at one point for the longest wingsuit flight.

00:38:47.000 How long was it?

00:38:47.000 It's the same thing.

00:38:49.000 Oh my god, look at how high this dude is.

00:38:50.000 They dropped him out of space, though.

00:38:52.000 I know that.

00:38:53.000 Oh, Red Bull did that.

00:38:54.000 I saw that, right?

00:38:55.000 No, there's a different one.

00:38:56.000 Oh, okay.

00:38:56.000 Maybe it was Red Bull.

00:38:57.000 Who did the Andy Stumpf one?

00:38:58.000 See, there was a big sponsor.

00:39:00.000 So you could find Andy Stumpf.

00:39:01.000 Because he was right.

00:39:01.000 He was just outside of our...

00:39:03.000 World record...

00:39:04.000 Jump.

00:39:06.000 Wingsuit.

00:39:06.000 Squirrel suit.

00:39:07.000 I caught a squirrel suit.

00:39:09.000 Yeah, I think that was the one I saw.

00:39:11.000 He jumps out of like a little cage.

00:39:13.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:39:13.000 That's Andy.

00:39:15.000 So...

00:39:15.000 Oh, this wasn't the one I saw, yeah.

00:39:17.000 I saw the one from space. 0.99

00:39:18.000 So he hops out this fucking thing... 0.99

00:39:21.000 And, you know, look how high he is. 1.00

00:39:23.000 That's so ridiculous. 0.97

00:39:24.000 He's got oxygen on. 0.97

00:39:26.000 It's so high up there. 1.00

00:39:28.000 Andy's such a psycho. 1.00

00:39:30.000 He loves that shit. 1.00

00:39:32.000 17.5 miles, jeez. 1.00

00:39:35.000 Wait, what?

00:39:36.000 He flew 17.5 miles in that squirrel suit.

00:39:40.000 Look at this.

00:39:41.000 Literally has oxygen on. 1.00

00:39:42.000 There's no air up there, bitch. 1.00

00:39:44.000 35,000 feet. 1.00

00:39:45.000 He's up there with a plane.

00:39:48.000 That is so crazy.

00:39:49.000 Oh my god, he's going 141 miles an hour.

00:39:54.000 That's as fast as you drive a golf ball.

00:39:56.000 Yeah, dude, that's insane.

00:39:58.000 No, you were driving, what was your top one today?

00:40:02.000 164. What is the fastest you've ever done?

00:40:05.000 I think the fastest on the track, man, was about 170, right around there.

00:40:10.000 Wow.

00:40:10.000 Like, what's top of the food chain, like, pro...

00:40:13.000 Look up what, I think, look up what, uh, yeah, I think Berkshire 225?

00:40:18.000 25, I think so. 0.99

00:40:19.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:40:20.000 He's a long drive guy, though. 1.00

00:40:21.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:40:22.000 Have you seen these guys? 1.00

00:40:23.000 Yeah.

00:40:23.000 Well, I've seen those guys that do that thing where they step and they drive into it that, you know, those...

00:40:29.000 That's him.

00:40:30.000 Is that him?

00:40:30.000 Yeah, he's a long drive dude and he...

00:40:33.000 Show him in a long drive competition.

00:40:36.000 Oh my god!

00:40:37.000 Go to a competition, Jamie, where he's outside, where you can see him hit it outside.

00:40:41.000 Like this, Joe.

00:40:42.000 Watch this ball flight.

00:40:44.000 Look at that.

00:40:45.000 I love the dude's hair.

00:40:48.000 390 yards, Joe. 0.99

00:40:50.000 That's so ridiculous! 0.98

00:40:51.000 That's so far! 0.93

00:40:54.000 But this guy's swing speed is, look, you see it right there, 217. Oh my god.

00:40:58.000 Ball speed.

00:40:58.000 Club is 150. They send him to Mesquite, Nevada, and they go down this range.

00:41:04.000 Oh my god.

00:41:05.000 And this Justin James cat, he got 390?

00:41:07.000 390. So he's going to beat it.

00:41:09.000 He's got eight chances to beat it.

00:41:10.000 Oh my god.

00:41:12.000 But you only get eight balls. 0.99

00:41:12.000 That's it. 0.99

00:41:13.000 He has to beat it within this, otherwise he's out.

00:41:15.000 So that's why he'll take his time for a second and set up.

00:41:17.000 He's on a clock, but you know.

00:41:19.000 Bro, you gotta love the hair.

00:41:21.000 He just cut it, though, sadly.

00:41:23.000 No!

00:41:23.000 Yeah, he cut it.

00:41:24.000 Why would he do that? 0.99

00:41:24.000 I don't fucking know. 0.99

00:41:25.000 Look at that main. 0.99

00:41:26.000 460-yard drives here.

00:41:28.000 460. What?

00:41:29.000 Watch this.

00:41:30.000 Watch how he...

00:41:31.000 And it's got to be, Joe, inside these lines, too.

00:41:36.000 So you can't just hit it anywhere.

00:41:37.000 It's got to be within this field.

00:41:39.000 Look at that.

00:41:42.000 That was just a cold 415. Oh, my God.

00:41:44.000 That's amazing.

00:41:46.000 And that's warming up. 0.98

00:41:47.000 He's just getting fucking started. 0.99

00:41:48.000 Now I understand why Tiger would blow his back out doing this. 0.99

00:41:51.000 Well, yeah.

00:41:52.000 That's exactly why.

00:41:53.000 Now I get it.

00:41:53.000 So much torsion.

00:41:54.000 The best golfers in the world, you'll see, guys like Ricky Fowler, size-wise, I mean, they're skinny guys.

00:42:00.000 They're tiny guys, some of these guys.

00:42:01.000 But they can pipe it because it's all torqued.

00:42:03.000 It's all below.

00:42:04.000 A lot of guys think it's all upstairs. 0.99

00:42:06.000 Everybody wants it to be like you want to fucking hit. 1.00

00:42:08.000 You have a hammer, dude. 0.99

00:42:09.000 Everybody wants to go this way.

00:42:10.000 But the problem is it has so much to do with your lower body snapping you into the ball.

00:42:15.000 Probably the best.

00:42:15.000 Tiger says he's got the best swing.

00:42:17.000 Roy has the best swing.

00:42:19.000 And see how much torsion is in his lower body?

00:42:22.000 See that?

00:42:22.000 How he snaps his lower body through?

00:42:25.000 That's incredible.

00:42:26.000 Look at his technique, too.

00:42:27.000 Look at the finish of it.

00:42:28.000 It's funny that that other guy's so wacky.

00:42:30.000 I know, see?

00:42:32.000 When you see that, when you see that perfect technique.

00:42:35.000 Rory's top in the world.

00:42:36.000 That other guy is good, but he's nowhere near this.

00:42:39.000 That guy's good, but he's not...

00:42:41.000 This is different.

00:42:41.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:42:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:43.000 That guy's gonna make money and do well for the rest of his life, but... 1.00

00:42:46.000 Top, top shit. 0.99

00:42:47.000 Rory's gotta be... 1.00

00:42:47.000 It's almost like a difference to those dart guys. 1.00

00:42:49.000 It's just, if you throw a fastball baseball pitcher up there to just throw against them, but they're throwing those little darts at the thing, and the other guys just don't fast as fuck. 0.99

00:42:57.000 Right. 0.99

00:42:58.000 Yeah.

00:42:59.000 It is amazing watching people learn to do something that's really hard to do.

00:43:04.000 Yeah.

00:43:04.000 And getting really good at it.

00:43:06.000 When you watch someone do acrobatics, or you watch Cirque du Soleil, you're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:43:10.000 Absurd. 0.99

00:43:11.000 How?

00:43:11.000 Have you seen the one where they jump in the water?

00:43:13.000 Which one?

00:43:14.000 The Cirque du Soleil...

00:43:17.000 LaRev.

00:43:18.000 Did you ever heard of this?

00:43:19.000 No.

00:43:20.000 Bro, I don't even know if it's around anymore, but when I went to Vegas one time, I got fucking baked out of my mind and went to see them.

00:43:24.000 And dude, I audibly, like an old lady, I'd be like, ah!

00:43:27.000 Because I got nervous.

00:43:29.000 They would jump in these little tiny, tiny holes from like 70 feet up, just into a little tiny...

00:43:34.000 But if they missed, they're dead.

00:43:36.000 The floor moves underwater.

00:43:38.000 Oh my god.

00:43:39.000 So you'll watch it raise up underwater.

00:43:41.000 Shift Heights.

00:43:42.000 They'll climb up from one of the...

00:43:43.000 And acrobatically climb to the other one.

00:43:45.000 And then it'll drop into the water out of nowhere.

00:43:47.000 And then it'll raise up a little tiny window they have to dive into.

00:43:50.000 Dude, it's...

00:43:50.000 Have you seen...

00:43:51.000 La Rev, I think, is what it was called.

00:43:53.000 It will...

00:43:54.000 I don't know if it's around.

00:43:55.000 But if it's still around, go see it. 0.99

00:43:56.000 Because that was the wildest shit I've ever seen. 0.99

00:43:58.000 Oh, dude. 1.00

00:43:59.000 Every show...

00:44:00.000 To me has to be such a high level of precision.

00:44:03.000 There is no like... 0.99

00:44:04.000 You know when a band is like, dude, you missed that fucking... 0.99

00:44:06.000 Right. 1.00

00:44:07.000 You can't miss shit. 1.00

00:44:08.000 You're not missing a chord. 1.00

00:44:10.000 It's your neck in the water.

00:44:11.000 I saw it years ago.

00:44:13.000 I saw the Beatles one at the Mirage.

00:44:14.000 Oh yeah, I think I saw that.

00:44:16.000 It's called Love. 0.99

00:44:16.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

00:44:17.000 Dude's on rollerblades doing flips and shit too. 1.00

00:44:19.000 But it's the music. 0.98

00:44:21.000 It also, you sort of re...

00:44:24.000 Discover the music of the Beatles.

00:44:26.000 Like, you forget how good their music was sometimes.

00:44:28.000 So good.

00:44:28.000 And when you hear it in that amazing arena where they have the Cirque du Soleil and the sound is incredible and the visuals are incredible.

00:44:36.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 You're like, these guys.

00:44:38.000 Unreal. 1.00

00:44:39.000 Goddamn. 0.99

00:44:39.000 You watched the documentary, I'm sure, and it was like... 0.99

00:44:43.000 What shocked me the most was how short of a time they were doing it.

00:44:47.000 This wasn't like a 30-year span where you're like, dude, the band made hits forever.

00:44:52.000 No, this was a little baby window they destroyed, and then poof, like that, it's gone.

00:44:58.000 Yoko Ono. 0.99

00:45:00.000 Came in and fucked it all up. 0.99

00:45:01.000 I know. 0.99

00:45:02.000 That's my Bobby Lee, dude. 0.99

00:45:03.000 Came in and fucked it all up. 0.97

00:45:04.000 Did you ever read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers? 0.99

00:45:10.000 No, but I've heard you talk about it.

00:45:11.000 It's a great book.

00:45:12.000 And one of the chapters in the book is about the Beatles.

00:45:15.000 And it's about how the Beatles went to Hamburg, and they were playing in a strip club, and they were playing like eight hours a day.

00:45:21.000 So they were playing so much, and they were so tightly tuned. 0.97

00:45:25.000 They went back to Liverpool a couple of years later, and everybody was like, what the fuck happened? 0.98

00:45:30.000 They were just so tight and so smooth. 0.98

00:45:34.000 Did they go to Hamburg just to do a run, do a residency?

00:45:37.000 They went to work.

00:45:38.000 And so they're doing these shows, and they're performing together eight hours a day.

00:45:44.000 And so they're writing all these new songs, and they're performing, and I think they had to do covers, too. 0.93

00:45:50.000 And they're just fucking tightly... 0.95

00:45:52.000 Putting in their work, man. 0.97

00:45:53.000 Yeah, just like tightly coordinated, like Cirque du Soleil with music.

00:45:59.000 Watching Paul make, like, improv, so to speak, get back...

00:46:06.000 Watching that was...

00:46:08.000 I don't think I've ever seen any footage of something so magical happening that they were able to capture.

00:46:14.000 When he's like...

00:46:15.000 When you hear him just humming out what he thinks the words might be...

00:46:21.000 Dude, I was like...

00:46:23.000 We're witnessing little magic go off in his brain.

00:46:27.000 You're watching his synapses fire into being like...

00:46:30.000 What is that?

00:46:31.000 Get back! 0.96

00:46:32.000 Get back! 0.96

00:46:33.000 And you see, once he finds it, everything else kind of like, it's almost like when you're tripping and you see one thing and then it exposes all this other stuff and you're like, I see all of it now.

00:46:44.000 That's exactly what that looked like to me, that he found Get Back and it was like, get back to where you once belong. 0.97

00:46:49.000 I was like, holy shit. 0.98

00:46:50.000 A lot of those guys do that. 1.00

00:46:52.000 Yeah.

00:46:52.000 Rick Rubin talked about that on the podcast.

00:46:54.000 Humming it out. 1.00

00:46:55.000 They sort of like make up words and shit. 0.99

00:47:00.000 And then they start putting words where the sound is. 0.99

00:47:03.000 Yeah, that's wild.

00:47:04.000 Yeah, they just sort of like feel it.

00:47:06.000 They feel it. 0.99

00:47:07.000 Whatever the beat is, they start just talking over it and shit. 0.98

00:47:10.000 But then in my stony brain, I think, did their brain already know the words and they were just trying to find it? 0.98

00:47:17.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:47:17.000 Maybe.

00:47:19.000 I always wondered that about Jay-Z. Jay-Z is so impressive.

00:47:22.000 The way he can ad-lib lyrics.

00:47:25.000 Rick Rubin was talking about how they'll play a beat and he'll go and listen to the beat and just flow with the beat.

00:47:32.000 It's stuff that he wrote for weeks and weeks.

00:47:35.000 But he never wrote anything down.

00:47:36.000 No!

00:47:37.000 That always blew my mind.

00:47:38.000 Wild!

00:47:39.000 Wild!

00:47:40.000 I sadly want him to have written one thing down.

00:47:43.000 That ability is incredible.

00:47:45.000 But then there's guys like Nas, who I think is the best lyricist ever.

00:47:49.000 And Nas writes things down.

00:47:51.000 And you can tell he writes things down.

00:47:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:53.000 Because he'll do a rap backwards. 0.68

00:47:56.000 Remember that song, Reverse?

00:47:57.000 I love that song.

00:47:57.000 That song's incredible.

00:47:59.000 That is one of the most lyrically complicated and beautiful songs ever in the history of hip-hop. 0.99

00:48:05.000 And it also has the ability to just toss in there, he's getting a blowjob and throws up. 0.98

00:48:09.000 That's also my favorite. 0.99

00:48:10.000 He's a poet. 1.00

00:48:12.000 She spits the nut back into my dick. 1.00

00:48:16.000 The drink goes back into my cup. 1.00

00:48:17.000 I throw up.

00:48:18.000 Dude, it's so cool how he was able to tell that story backwards, but also still keep it in his...

00:48:39.000 I love him.

00:48:46.000 That was the hip-hop that I liked.

00:48:48.000 Jamie and I talk sometimes about hip-hop, but the new stuff, some new shit I like a lot, but, you know, stuff like Illmatic and... 0.53

00:48:56.000 Bro, his hip-hop is dead? 0.88

00:48:57.000 Yeah.

00:48:58.000 Come on, son.

00:48:58.000 That song comes...

00:48:59.000 So good. 1.00

00:49:01.000 That song comes on, you're like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:49:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:04.000 There's a few songs when they come on, I'm like, oh, shit. 0.95

00:49:07.000 You know, Gravel Pit by Wu-Tang Clan. 0.98

00:49:10.000 Oh, love.

00:49:10.000 When that song comes on, check out my Gravel Pit.

00:49:13.000 As soon as that comes on, that's like one of them songs that you just start moving.

00:49:18.000 It's classics.

00:49:19.000 Well, I had Feral Monch.

00:49:20.000 On tour, I would come out to Feral Monch, Simon Says. 0.98

00:49:24.000 Do you know that song?

00:49:25.000 No.

00:49:26.000 You know it, don't you?

00:49:30.000 Let me hear it.

00:49:31.000 It's Dude.

00:49:32.000 Oh, I'm sure I know it.

00:49:34.000 Simon Says.

00:49:36.000 I come out to this song because I loved it so much. 1.00

00:49:43.000 But the crowd would lose their fucking mind. 0.99

00:49:46.000 This is from 13 years ago. 1.00

00:49:48.000 Yeah.

00:49:51.000 Trippy-ass music video.

00:49:52.000 I miss music videos.

00:49:53.000 Dude, this is MTV. That's how I feel it shows.

00:50:16.000 Get the fuck up! 1.00

00:50:18.000 Simon says, get the fuck up! 1.00

00:50:24.000 Ugh! 1.00

00:50:26.000 Girls, rub on your titties! 1.00

00:50:27.000 That's my favorite line. 1.00

00:50:28.000 Yeah, fuck it! 1.00

00:50:29.000 I said it! 1.00

00:50:29.000 Rub on your titties! 1.00

00:50:31.000 So, I was coming out to this, and then for the special, I wanted to use it. 0.97

00:50:37.000 And DJ Premier, who is a fan of comedy and knows Segura, and I reached out to him out of the blue.

00:50:44.000 I was like, hey man, I hope I'm not crossing lines here.

00:50:47.000 Would it be cool if you reached out to Pharoah about me licensing that song for the special?

00:50:52.000 And it's widely known in the hip-hop world.

00:50:54.000 Most, like, old hip-hop heads, they love that song.

00:50:56.000 And I was like, I don't know if I can afford it or whatever, but would you mind?

00:51:00.000 And shout-out to him, because within seconds, Premiere was like, yo, reach out to him, here's the deal.

00:51:08.000 That intro is from Godzilla 1, like the original.

00:51:13.000 And he never cleared it.

00:51:18.000 13, 15 years ago.

00:51:20.000 So the deal was, he's got the mechanics to the song, but can't license it out for stuff like this.

00:51:26.000 Let me hear that.

00:51:27.000 Have Godzilla walk out.

00:51:28.000 I want to see Godzilla anyway.

00:51:30.000 Who sampled?

00:51:31.000 You can see all the samples.

00:51:32.000 Right, you can see every single...

00:51:33.000 Who sampled it in their music.

00:51:36.000 I love that they sample in hip-hop.

00:51:38.000 It's the best.

00:51:38.000 I love it.

00:51:39.000 It's cool.

00:51:39.000 But the problem is, stuff like that didn't clear.

00:51:41.000 So long ago, it didn't clear.

00:51:44.000 So what ended up...

00:51:45.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:51:48.000 Can you show me it, though?

00:51:50.000 Can you show me it when it happens?

00:51:52.000 Find the...

00:51:53.000 Stop.

00:51:54.000 No, no, no.

00:51:55.000 Jamie, can you show me Godzilla coming out to that sound?

00:52:01.000 I want to see actual Godzilla. 0.99

00:52:03.000 Because it was so dumb. 0.98

00:52:05.000 Godzilla. 0.99

00:52:06.000 The actual Godzilla, if you go back and try to watch that, the idea that that's a monster movie, it's so goofy.

00:52:13.000 But it was crazy scary for people at the time. 0.99

00:52:14.000 People were like, oh shit! 0.99

00:52:15.000 It was amazing! 0.99

00:52:16.000 For people in 1960 or whenever Godzilla came out, I was like, what am I saying?

00:52:21.000 This is incredible!

00:52:23.000 Fire came out of his mouth, eh!

00:52:27.000 Yeah, it was so cool.

00:52:28.000 Yeah, and that sound was so, so, like, memorable, and so he didn't clear it, and then, you know, and Premiere was like, whatever I can do to help, you know, moving forward, and there's this other guy, RJ D2, who I loved, and ironically enough, I had wanted a song from him,

00:52:44.000 and he was like...

00:52:47.000 I didn't clear that song. 1.00

00:52:48.000 And I was like, dude, the same shit! 0.99

00:52:50.000 So then he sent me a folder of unused beats. 0.99

00:52:55.000 He's like, I have stuff that I've made that I don't have and no one has, you know, that I still have.

00:53:00.000 He's like, do you want to hear someone?

00:53:01.000 He sent me one and that's one of the ones I chose.

00:53:03.000 And shout out to those guys for helping me out.

00:53:05.000 But it was so funny because he said the same thing.

00:53:07.000 He goes, dude, I was young when I did that. 0.99

00:53:08.000 We didn't clear shit. 0.99

00:53:10.000 Of course. 1.00

00:53:10.000 We were making dope shit, putting it out to the world. 1.00

00:53:13.000 And then sometimes... 1.00

00:53:14.000 They don't have lawyers to clear shit. 1.00

00:53:15.000 Fuck no. 1.00

00:53:15.000 He's like, those labels, half those labels from back, they're all gone. 1.00

00:53:18.000 They dissipated, or they got bought, or...

00:53:20.000 How many great, great songs in hip-hop they sampled?

00:53:24.000 Old music, like old...

00:53:26.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:53:27.000 James Brown tracks, and all kinds of shit. 0.99

00:53:30.000 I talked about William Bell. 0.99

00:53:31.000 I love William Bell.

00:53:32.000 If you don't know who he is, he's great.

00:53:34.000 And so many people have sampled him, but they sample, like, even a word.

00:53:38.000 Like, Tim Robinson, his show, I Think You Should Leave, which is fun.

00:53:42.000 He samples this, baby, baby, baby...

00:53:45.000 And it's from William Bell's, a piece of his song that he looped and put over itself.

00:53:49.000 And like, it's just cool to see how many people pick apart these old things.

00:53:52.000 I love hearing it and finding it and be like, do you know who that is?

00:53:55.000 And when people are like, no, it's like, oh, that's Ann Peebles.

00:53:57.000 That's, you know, it's just great.

00:53:58.000 I love seeing where the samples came from.

00:54:01.000 Because it's like, man, how did they find that? 0.99

00:54:03.000 Or why that of all the shit that they turn into something else? 0.99

00:54:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:07.000 No, there's an art to that, man.

00:54:09.000 Oh, it's beautiful.

00:54:09.000 A lot of those old hip-hop dudes used to have just enormous collections of records they would just listen to just to try to find samples.

00:54:17.000 Digging in the crates constantly to find something like that.

00:54:20.000 Do you find Godzilla's emergence?

00:54:22.000 No, that's it.

00:54:22.000 It's from a 1992 film.

00:54:25.000 That sound is?

00:54:26.000 Yes.

00:54:27.000 Oh, it's a 1992 Godzilla?

00:54:28.000 Probably a way better Godzilla.

00:54:30.000 It's from a soundtrack...

00:54:32.000 So it's not the original Godzilla?

00:54:34.000 The original...

00:54:35.000 So this says it's from...

00:54:36.000 Whether or not this is right or not, I guess we'll have to go into that.

00:54:39.000 Godzilla vs.

00:54:39.000 Mothra?

00:54:40.000 Yeah, this says it's from Godzilla vs.

00:54:41.000 Mothra, which came out in 1992. Okay.

00:54:43.000 And then I found that movie, but I have no idea where they would have used that 12-second sample, because it's on the soundtrack.

00:54:51.000 This is the whole movie of Godzilla vs.

00:54:53.000 Mothra?

00:54:53.000 Just show Godzilla coming out so that it happens.

00:54:55.000 Yeah, let's see him.

00:54:56.000 I guarantee...

00:54:56.000 There's a hard...

00:54:58.000 Hard to find it?

00:54:59.000 Yeah, I don't know where.

00:55:00.000 I've never seen this movie.

00:55:01.000 I've never seen it.

00:55:04.000 Godzilla vs.

00:55:05.000 Mothra from 1992. How many people saw this?

00:55:08.000 I don't know that they're going to play the soundtrack when it comes out.

00:55:10.000 I highly doubt it.

00:55:12.000 Let's find where- just so you can see what Godzilla- what did Godzilla look like in 92?

00:55:17.000 I didn't see this movie.

00:55:18.000 Yeah, it wasn't- it came out in Japan.

00:55:20.000 That's like- Right!

00:55:21.000 Okay.

00:55:23.000 Isn't that wild? 0.99

00:55:23.000 Like, he found a sample from fucking Japan from a Japanese movie. 0.99

00:55:27.000 There it is. 0.99

00:55:28.000 Oh, here it is.

00:55:28.000 Oh, he looks terrible!

00:55:34.000 There it is.

00:55:37.000 You're in the background?

00:55:38.000 Yeah.

00:55:39.000 It's not even hurt!

00:55:41.000 It's not even her.

00:55:44.000 It's gonna land.

00:55:45.000 We have to stop it.

00:55:47.000 That's one of the best parts about Godzilla's dubs.

00:55:50.000 The dubs are so terrible. 1.00

00:55:52.000 We have to do our best to find out where he's going.

00:55:55.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:55:56.000 It's not even hurting him.

00:55:58.000 Here's Godzilla.

00:55:59.000 Oh, Godzilla's in a fight with Mothra.

00:56:04.000 Oh, Mothra's jizzing all over him. 0.98

00:56:05.000 Jizzing all over him, dude. 0.98

00:56:07.000 It's silk. 0.90

00:56:08.000 He's covered him with silk. 1.00

00:56:10.000 Imagine that's all it takes to fuck Godzilla up. 1.00

00:56:14.000 Just a little bit of silk. 0.99

00:56:15.000 He's all tapped out.

00:56:17.000 Oh my god, look how corny it looks.

00:56:18.000 And that's like the updated Godzilla.

00:56:20.000 Right.

00:56:21.000 Now go to the original Godzilla.

00:56:23.000 Go to the original Godzilla movie.

00:56:24.000 That looks so bad.

00:56:25.000 The Matthew Broderick one came out like four years after this, didn't it?

00:56:28.000 Right.

00:56:28.000 The Matthew Broderick movie was pretty good.

00:56:31.000 In terms of special effects.

00:56:32.000 It was a terrible movie.

00:56:33.000 But in terms of special effects, it was a pretty good movie.

00:56:38.000 He's got the downs.

00:56:41.000 100%.

00:56:41.000 It's a meme.

00:56:45.000 Mafra.

00:56:46.000 This is from 1964?

00:56:49.000 Bro, look how bad this is!

00:56:53.000 Oh my god.

00:56:59.000 Oh my god, this is so corny.

00:57:07.000 You can even hear the helicopter flying overhead that gives them the wind.

00:57:11.000 You hear the helicopter?

00:57:17.000 Look how corny Godzilla is!

00:57:21.000 There it is in the background right there.

00:57:23.000 It's a different version of it, yeah.

00:57:26.000 Yeah.

00:57:27.000 Dun, dun, dun, dun!

00:57:35.000 When my daughters were really young, they were like four and six, my wife was out of town and I said, do you guys want to watch a scary movie?

00:57:43.000 And they're like, no, we're scared.

00:57:45.000 I go, no, no, no, a bad scary movie, corny.

00:57:47.000 I want to show you a scary movie from the 1930s.

00:57:50.000 It's called King Kong.

00:57:52.000 And they're like, what is it?

00:57:52.000 I go, it's about a giant gorilla.

00:57:54.000 But I go, but the special effects are so bad, you're going to laugh.

00:57:57.000 Yeah.

00:57:57.000 It's so bad.

00:57:59.000 And so six-year-olds, right, from whatever, you know, six years ago, watching a movie that was a scary movie at the time.

00:58:08.000 At the time, yeah.

00:58:09.000 In 1933, when people saw King Kong for the first time, go to King Kong from 1933. When people saw that, whatever year it was, was it 33?

00:58:18.000 Am I making that up?

00:58:19.000 I want to say it predates World War II. People thought that was like the craziest shit they'd ever seen. 0.99

00:58:26.000 33. What is it? 0.99

00:58:27.000 33. 33. 1933 King Kong.

00:58:30.000 So go to 1933 King Kong and this is made with clay.

00:58:34.000 Look how bad this is.

00:58:35.000 So my kids thought it was hilarious.

00:58:38.000 I go, how bad does this look?

00:58:40.000 It looks so bad.

00:58:41.000 Like they weren't scared at all.

00:58:42.000 They were laughing and then they were relieved that it wasn't scary.

00:58:45.000 So then they started laughing really hard.

00:58:48.000 Look how corny this is.

00:58:50.000 But in 1933, they're like, I can't believe what we're seeing.

00:58:55.000 King Kong is actually fighting a dinosaur.

00:58:58.000 And there's a lady watching it? 1.00

00:59:00.000 But it's like, whenever you revisit that shit, when I was, I remember Babysitter showed me The Exorcist. 0.99

00:59:06.000 Far before I should have seen it. 0.99

00:59:08.000 And I remember how crazy, I thought that was insane.

00:59:11.000 That movie was so scary, it gave me nightmares.

00:59:13.000 Look at the new one.

00:59:14.000 Yeah, it's insane.

00:59:15.000 The new one's incredible.

00:59:16.000 That's what the ride is almost at Universal.

00:59:19.000 Isn't it hilarious how King Kong always falls in love with a white chick? 1.00

00:59:24.000 But look how badass this King Kong is.

00:59:31.000 This King Kong is incredible.

00:59:33.000 He'd have smushed her for sure. 0.99

00:59:34.000 And what year is this?

00:59:36.000 It says three years ago, but I don't know exactly if that's right.

00:59:39.000 05?

00:59:40.000 Oh, five.

00:59:40.000 Yeah, I was gonna say, that looks like it might be a while ago.

00:59:42.000 Oh, now the newest shit's probably... 0.94

00:59:43.000 Yeah, they remade it again, I think. 0.99

00:59:45.000 Right.

00:59:45.000 Yeah, they did.

00:59:46.000 But then King Kong kept growing, because now King Kong has to fight Godzilla.

00:59:51.000 Godzilla's 500 feet tall.

00:59:52.000 Yeah, right, I saw that.

00:59:53.000 So the idea is that King Kong has, like, some sort of a genetic malformity that makes him just continue to grow forever and ever.

00:59:59.000 So now they don't visit Kong Island for a few years, and they come back and...

01:00:03.000 He's got a lump on his pituitary gland.

01:00:05.000 He just never stopped growing.

01:00:07.000 Yeah, so this is the regular-sized King Kong.

01:00:09.000 This is the 50-foot King Kong. 0.97

01:00:11.000 See, that looks fucking unreal. 0.98

01:00:13.000 Smash! 1.00

01:00:15.000 Boom! 1.00

01:00:16.000 I mean, yeah, the fucking special effects are incredible. 0.99

01:00:20.000 It's so amazing what they do with CGI, but at the same time, you know that that's not real. 0.98

01:00:25.000 You feel it's not real.

01:00:26.000 It just feels fake.

01:00:28.000 That's what's like, people that do, like Rick Baker, those guys that did special effects for American Werewolf in London, they say that you can't replace the physical special effects where an actual object is attacking an actual person.

01:00:44.000 I remember that too.

01:00:45.000 When I was a kid, I thought that was...

01:00:47.000 I had nightmares of, like, stairs.

01:00:49.000 I hated stairs.

01:00:51.000 Yeah, it just freaked me out so much when I was a kid.

01:00:54.000 Back then, man, this movie freaked people out, dude.

01:00:57.000 They were so scared that their kids could get possessed by a devil.

01:01:01.000 She was so good.

01:01:02.000 I bought it. 1.00

01:01:03.000 I was like, that bitch is possessed. 1.00

01:01:04.000 I think that movie fucked her up. 1.00

01:01:06.000 Yeah, right? 0.98

01:01:07.000 For the rest of her life?

01:01:08.000 I think so.

01:01:09.000 Well, because she did it so young.

01:01:10.000 She's a kid in that movie. 0.76

01:01:10.000 It's like, to be in that mindset, 12 hours a day on set shooting... 0.76

01:01:15.000 Yelling, your mother sucks cocks in hell. 1.00

01:01:17.000 Remember that? 1.00

01:01:18.000 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:01:19.000 Your mother sucks cocks in hell! 1.00

01:01:21.000 Whoa! 1.00

01:01:24.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:01:25.000 Yeah, but you have to do that.

01:01:26.000 Was that 76?

01:01:28.000 What year was The Exorcist?

01:01:30.000 That's what happens to actors that get embedded in those things that go deep, deep, deep.

01:01:34.000 Sometimes the brain takes a while to get back.

01:01:37.000 I would imagine that if you're playing...

01:01:39.000 73. 73. If you're a child and you're playing someone who's possessed by a demon...

01:01:44.000 Yeah, come on. 0.77

01:01:45.000 And you believe in demons when you're a child, too.

01:01:48.000 For sure.

01:01:48.000 Do you believe in demons?

01:01:49.000 Still do, yeah.

01:01:50.000 Do you?

01:01:50.000 For sure.

01:01:51.000 They might be real.

01:01:52.000 They gotta be.

01:01:53.000 There's gotta be external forces around.

01:01:55.000 I can't imagine that all this energy in your body goes to nowhere.

01:01:59.000 I don't buy it.

01:02:01.000 Well, that's not even the question about demons.

01:02:04.000 Where your energy goes is a really good question.

01:02:07.000 But the question about demons is, are there external forces that are playing against you?

01:02:11.000 They're actual entities.

01:02:13.000 But I think negative energy goes into those things.

01:02:15.000 That's what I guess I mean. 0.99

01:02:16.000 I think what builds those things is negative, really toxic, evil shit builds negative things. 0.99

01:02:23.000 In another dimension. 1.00

01:02:24.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:02:25.000 I definitely believe that. 1.00

01:02:27.000 And if you're doing evil shit, you're probably even more haunted by those things. 0.99

01:02:31.000 When you die, it doesn't just go away. 0.99

01:02:33.000 It goes somewhere, into a thing.

01:02:35.000 I wholeheartedly believe that.

01:02:37.000 And honestly, the first time I really felt Like when I saw, you know, the Irish, for some reason, we love wakes.

01:02:45.000 We like to see people when they're dead.

01:02:47.000 I like how the Jews do it. 1.00

01:02:48.000 They're like, I'm not fucking looking at that person when they're dead. 0.99

01:02:50.000 I had the same experience. 0.99

01:02:51.000 I know what you're going to say.

01:02:52.000 And I couldn't look at my grandmother the whole time.

01:02:56.000 And then my mom was like, we're going to leave, so you ought to say goodbye.

01:02:59.000 And I was like, alright.

01:03:00.000 And I walked up there, and I felt this sense of relief because I was like, oh, the thing I loved isn't even in there anymore.

01:03:09.000 Right.

01:03:10.000 This was a vessel.

01:03:11.000 Yes.

01:03:11.000 And whatever was in there is somewhere better, and I felt immediately like this weird, like someone was telling me like, this is just the shell, man.

01:03:21.000 The thing you like, it's in a really great place.

01:03:23.000 It's all good.

01:03:24.000 Right.

01:03:24.000 That's the weirdest part about seeing someone dead, is this feeling that they've left.

01:03:30.000 Yeah, they're not in there.

01:03:32.000 Yeah, they're not in there.

01:03:33.000 Did you see this, the Pope?

01:03:34.000 Whoa, is this the new Pope?

01:03:36.000 Yeah, he passed away, they did the funeral, and they brought him out without a coffin and left him on display.

01:03:42.000 That's dark.

01:03:43.000 Pope don't need no coffin!

01:03:45.000 That's dark.

01:03:46.000 Everyone came up and kissed his hands and stuff.

01:03:48.000 Wild.

01:03:48.000 That is a crazy gig.

01:03:53.000 That guy had the craziest past.

01:03:56.000 Pope Benedict? 0.57

01:03:57.000 He had the craziest past because he was charged with moving priests around that had committed atrocities. 0.87

01:04:04.000 And he moved one to a place where they molested a hundred deaf kids. 0.68

01:04:10.000 What?

01:04:10.000 Yes.

01:04:11.000 Google that.

01:04:12.000 A hundred deaf kids?

01:04:13.000 A hundred deaf kids got molested by this one priest that he had moved, I believe when he was a cardinal.

01:04:19.000 No, you don't hear him coming.

01:04:20.000 That's the problem.

01:04:21.000 Jesus.

01:04:22.000 You can't even help yourself.

01:04:24.000 Cut it out. 1.00

01:04:24.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

01:04:27.000 But the new one's supposed to be chill, right? 1.00

01:04:29.000 Well, I think he had to take it down a notch, so the new one got, you know, fucking a regular throne. 0.98

01:04:35.000 He's like, this gold throne's a little outdated. 0.99

01:04:36.000 And he's like pro-gay marriage and all that stuff.

01:04:38.000 Well, that's nice.

01:04:39.000 A little bit more than 100. 200 Def Kits.

01:04:43.000 Oh my god. 0.73

01:04:44.000 The priest might have molested 200 deaf boys.

01:04:46.000 Top Vatican officials, including future Pope Benedict XVI, did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys, even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church,

01:05:02.000 according to the files.

01:05:03.000 Recently unearthed as part of a lawsuit.

01:05:05.000 Imagine your concern is embarrassing the church. 1.00

01:05:08.000 Not that this guy is fucking kids. 1.00

01:05:11.000 Imagine! 1.00

01:05:12.000 Yeah, we don't want the church to look bad.

01:05:13.000 Imagine your concern, and not one guy, but multiple bishops, right?

01:05:17.000 Yeah.

01:05:18.000 It's nuts.

01:05:18.000 Have you been to the Vatican, by the way?

01:05:20.000 Yes.

01:05:21.000 On edibles. 1.00

01:05:22.000 Shit is dark. 1.00

01:05:23.000 I went there on edibles. 1.00

01:05:24.000 Did you?

01:05:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:25.000 That shit creeped me out, dude. 1.00

01:05:26.000 The whole time I was like, I don't like this at all. 1.00

01:05:29.000 I just didn't like the fact that they were like, we have our own cops.

01:05:33.000 Well, no extradition.

01:05:35.000 We can do whatever we want.

01:05:36.000 They're basically a country inside of a city.

01:05:38.000 They have their own rules, their own laws.

01:05:40.000 And there's a bunch of people in there that people would like to try.

01:05:43.000 Yeah.

01:05:43.000 They would like to pull them out of there and try them.

01:05:45.000 Can't do it.

01:05:46.000 For crimes against humanity.

01:05:47.000 Protected.

01:05:48.000 You saw that documentary about the little girl that went missing from the Vatican?

01:05:51.000 No.

01:05:52.000 No?

01:05:52.000 No.

01:05:53.000 I don't even know what it's called, Jamie.

01:05:55.000 The girl who went missing is what I think my instinct is saying, but it's about a resident.

01:06:00.000 You know, there's a small amount of residents that live in the Vatican walls, in Vatican City.

01:06:04.000 Her family was one of them.

01:06:06.000 And this has got to be, I don't know, 30 years ago? 0.99

01:06:08.000 She went missing, and the story is fucking wild. 0.94

01:06:12.000 Yeah, it's called Vatican Girl. 0.98

01:06:13.000 I just Googled it two days ago.

01:06:15.000 It says they reopened the case, so I don't know.

01:06:17.000 Dude, you have to watch this.

01:06:18.000 It's bananas.

01:06:18.000 What do they think happened?

01:06:19.000 Well, there's a bunch of different conspiracies.

01:06:22.000 There's a bunch of different, like...

01:06:24.000 There is kind of a somewhat clear-cut answer in it, but there's multiple points where even they go, I don't know.

01:06:31.000 This may come from multiple avenues of...

01:06:36.000 This being a very well-coordinated thing.

01:06:38.000 Like a kidnapping.

01:06:40.000 And it's crazy.

01:06:41.000 And they just reopened it up.

01:06:43.000 Kidnapping from someone who lives in the Vatican?

01:06:45.000 I don't want to tell you.

01:06:46.000 The family lived there.

01:06:47.000 It says there might have been a kidnapping to blackmail the Pope at the time.

01:06:51.000 There's a bunch of different theories, and as you watch it, they talk about multiple theories about what it's like.

01:06:55.000 But also, the crazy thing is, you'd think if you lived in the Vatican, you're living high on the hog.

01:07:02.000 No.

01:07:03.000 These people were commoner, lower class to lower middle class.

01:07:08.000 It's not because they're in there.

01:07:09.000 You're not automatically living like a king.

01:07:12.000 If you're just a citizen...

01:07:13.000 So were they help?

01:07:15.000 Did they work there?

01:07:15.000 Yeah, they were workers.

01:07:16.000 They were workers.

01:07:17.000 Oh, so the workers lived there.

01:07:18.000 But they don't treat them any kind of...

01:07:19.000 It's like they all live pretty, you know...

01:07:21.000 Modestly.

01:07:22.000 Modestly.

01:07:23.000 And your family's born into it, so you're kind of born in it.

01:07:26.000 And this girl was... 0.99

01:07:27.000 She would go to a school outside of the Vatican walls.

01:07:30.000 Like a performance art school, if I'm not mistaken.

01:07:32.000 And, you know, a regular route.

01:07:34.000 From there to there, there to there, there to there.

01:07:36.000 And then one day...

01:07:38.000 Oh, here's why.

01:07:40.000 The Pope's longtime secretary is about to release a book this week.

01:07:44.000 Ruh-roh. 0.99

01:07:45.000 And that's why they may have an investigation.

01:07:46.000 He's got information on it that's going to come out in the book.

01:07:49.000 About that girl?

01:07:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:50.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:07:51.000 It's wild. 1.00

01:07:52.000 This is two days ago that she just started popping up?

01:07:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:54.000 I don't care if I didn't see it.

01:07:57.000 Top of the thing.

01:07:58.000 Vatican reopens investigation.

01:07:59.000 That's her. 0.88

01:08:00.000 Yeah.

01:08:00.000 Emanuela.

01:08:01.000 In 1983 she went missing.

01:08:03.000 Orlandi.

01:08:05.000 40 years ago, yeah.

01:08:06.000 They've gotten away with so much.

01:08:08.000 Sketchy.

01:08:08.000 They've gotten away with so much.

01:08:09.000 So sketchy.

01:08:10.000 I mean, I know everybody wants to concentrate, and rightly so, on Epstein Island, but how about the Vatican?

01:08:16.000 How about just the entire... 1.00

01:08:18.000 You could be a person who doesn't know how to read, and you know that priests fuck kids. 1.00

01:08:24.000 Uh-huh. 1.00

01:08:25.000 Someone that's barely heard of it's like, oh, I did hear about those guys.

01:08:28.000 Everybody knows that that's a problem.

01:08:32.000 Yeah, dude.

01:08:32.000 It's not like NASCAR drivers.

01:08:34.000 Imagine if NASCAR drivers were known for molesting children. 0.97

01:08:38.000 You'd be like, that is cool.

01:08:39.000 Why is that still a thing?

01:08:42.000 It's part of a culture, man. 1.00

01:08:44.000 Forever people knew that priests fuck kids. 1.00

01:08:46.000 100%. 1.00

01:08:46.000 It's never happened to me, but I've had multiple friends that were in Catholic school. 1.00

01:08:52.000 They got chased by a priest.

01:08:54.000 This one guy went on a retreat with his priest, and the priest made him sleep in the bed with him, and he was chasing him around the room.

01:08:59.000 No, no, no.

01:09:00.000 And he had to literally fight off the priest and scream, and he wouldn't give in.

01:09:04.000 What was the name of the movie that exposed all that stuff?

01:09:07.000 You know, about the newspaper.

01:09:09.000 Mark Ruffalo?

01:09:10.000 What?

01:09:11.000 Am I crazy? 1.00

01:09:11.000 Why can't I think of the name of that fucking... 1.00

01:09:13.000 Boston newspaper? 0.99

01:09:14.000 Yeah.

01:09:15.000 Yeah.

01:09:15.000 Bro, there's so many.

01:09:17.000 And it was a real story where the Boston Globe...

01:09:20.000 Spotlight.

01:09:21.000 Spotlight.

01:09:22.000 And they went out of their way to expose them in real life.

01:09:25.000 They made a movie about it, but it's like, didn't even do anything. 0.99

01:09:28.000 Didn't do shit. 0.99

01:09:28.000 That's so crazy. 0.99

01:09:29.000 A credible newspaper was like, we have unbelievable amounts of evidence.

01:09:34.000 And still, it's like, well, what are you going to do?

01:09:36.000 They don't even lose their tax-free exemption.

01:09:38.000 I know.

01:09:39.000 Nothing happens.

01:09:40.000 The tax-free thing is wild because when Scientology got it, you're like, yo!

01:09:45.000 What is this?

01:09:46.000 What is this thing?

01:09:49.000 No taxes if you claim that you're a religion?

01:09:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:52.000 Do you know how many fucking religions there could be? 1.00

01:09:54.000 This is a religion. 1.00

01:09:55.000 You could say your show is a religion.

01:09:57.000 Hardly.

01:09:57.000 But there you go.

01:09:58.000 You have loyal listeners.

01:09:59.000 So what?

01:10:00.000 It's just conversations.

01:10:01.000 But that could be a religion.

01:10:02.000 There's no rules.

01:10:03.000 How do you apply to make a religion?

01:10:04.000 Look it up.

01:10:05.000 I'm serious. 1.00

01:10:05.000 Listen, stop fucking with me. 1.00

01:10:06.000 This is a religion. 1.00

01:10:08.000 You know it is.

01:10:09.000 You know it's like an inch away from being one.

01:10:11.000 You could just say, you have followers.

01:10:15.000 They listen to you.

01:10:16.000 They like what you put out.

01:10:18.000 Doesn't mean you have to have some sort of like spiritual ideology.

01:10:21.000 Religion could be anything.

01:10:23.000 This could slot as a religion.

01:10:26.000 For sure.

01:10:26.000 It just means a bunch of people listen to a uniform thought process if you put out like a continual thing.

01:10:34.000 I don't think you need a book. 0.99

01:10:35.000 I don't think you need shit. 0.99

01:10:36.000 You know Alex Gray? 1.00

01:10:38.000 Uh-uh.

01:10:38.000 The visionary artist?

01:10:39.000 I'm sure you've seen his work.

01:10:41.000 Okay.

01:10:41.000 In every dorm room wall of someone who smokes weed, they have an Alex Gray poster.

01:10:44.000 It's Jad or Justin Bua, the piano guy.

01:10:47.000 That was also in the dorm rooms.

01:10:49.000 This is Alex Gray.

01:10:50.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:10:51.000 You've seen his work.

01:10:52.000 Well, Alex Gray started a religion, like a legitimate religion.

01:10:55.000 He's a really spiritual person.

01:10:58.000 Legitimately, when you meet him, you're blown away.

01:11:00.000 He's the real deal.

01:11:02.000 And he has a church that he built that is designed around his art.

01:11:08.000 And he got tax-exempt status.

01:11:11.000 It's called Entheon.

01:11:12.000 That's the church.

01:11:13.000 Like, this is the place.

01:11:14.000 Like, how amazing is that?

01:11:16.000 Where is that?

01:11:17.000 It's in upstate New York.

01:11:18.000 So he bought land, and then he set it up for a church, made it tax-exempt.

01:11:25.000 You've got to see what it looks like on the outside.

01:11:27.000 I mean, this is the inside. 0.98

01:11:28.000 It's fucking gorgeous. 0.98

01:11:30.000 Because it's a church that's designed by an amazing artist. 0.99

01:11:36.000 That's the outside of it.

01:11:38.000 Look at that.

01:11:39.000 Entheon.

01:11:40.000 Play that video.

01:11:43.000 Yeah, go full screen, please.

01:11:46.000 It's amazing.

01:11:48.000 Oh my god.

01:11:49.000 And you know, this guy's been an incredible artist forever.

01:11:52.000 But he had, the first time he came on the podcast, he had just the idea for this.

01:11:56.000 So all those faces all around it, it's all from his artwork and it all had to be 3D designed.

01:12:02.000 That's him and his wife.

01:12:03.000 And so this is him and his wife and his paintings. 1.00

01:12:07.000 So they have like fucking yoga classes there and shit. 0.99

01:12:09.000 They're like a real church. 1.00

01:12:11.000 Look at this.

01:12:13.000 I mean, imagine going into the woods with all these hippies, and you go do yoga in that place with this guy.

01:12:19.000 I know. 0.99

01:12:20.000 And you're all chanting and shit. 1.00

01:12:21.000 And he's a real deal. 0.99

01:12:22.000 He's not trying to rip people off.

01:12:24.000 He's just a genuinely beautiful person who's an amazing artist, who's created a real church.

01:12:32.000 They play music, and they get together. 0.99

01:12:36.000 It's not like he gets to fuck everybody's wife. 0.99

01:12:37.000 It's a regular church. 0.99

01:12:39.000 I hope it stays that way.

01:12:40.000 Yeah, it will.

01:12:42.000 Because this story sometimes goes the wrong way.

01:12:44.000 They almost always go the wrong way.

01:12:46.000 It goes to a place where it's like, he got the power and he was like, all right, we have to pray naked.

01:12:51.000 And then someone's got to sit on my face.

01:12:53.000 And then we need to protect ourselves from the government. 1.00

01:12:55.000 We gotta kill everybody we know that doesn't like us. 1.00

01:12:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:58.000 You don't want it to go down that road. 1.00

01:12:59.000 But they almost always do.

01:13:01.000 Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying.

01:13:02.000 As I'm watching that, the whole time I'm like, I know he's your boy.

01:13:04.000 I hope it stays this way.

01:13:07.000 I hope it doesn't shift into something I don't want it to be.

01:13:10.000 I watched the, you know, NXIVM or whatever.

01:13:14.000 I watched that one.

01:13:14.000 I didn't see that one, but I heard it's wild.

01:13:16.000 Bro, it's just, you're like...

01:13:18.000 Also, the women's empowerment one, that was another one that was nuts. 0.99

01:13:21.000 What's that one?

01:13:22.000 This woman in San Francisco had started, you know, like a sexual revolution club, a freedom for women to be the powerful versions of themselves. 1.00

01:13:33.000 She gets to bang everybody's husband. 1.00

01:13:34.000 Yes, she fucks everybody. 1.00

01:13:36.000 By the end, she fucked the whole crew. 1.00

01:13:38.000 It was all see-through. 1.00

01:13:40.000 She was like, this is for women to take back their empowerment. 0.96

01:13:42.000 It was in San Francisco, I think.

01:13:44.000 And she was extremely manipulative and intelligent. 0.98

01:13:48.000 The way she would break down people's relationships into... 1.00

01:13:53.000 Joining her ideology about sex and love and relationships, they would just snap into her thing. 0.98

01:13:58.000 And it was all about making a woman come. 0.99

01:14:00.000 The whole thing was about, can you make your woman come and make that the priority? 1.00

01:14:03.000 But then, after a couple years, she's like, I want to suck a couple dicks. 1.00

01:14:09.000 She let a couple dicks in and then it all led down the same road, dude. 1.00

01:14:13.000 It all goes down to the same place. 0.98

01:14:15.000 Power.

01:14:16.000 They love the power.

01:14:17.000 Well, it's also, if you're a person who doesn't...

01:14:21.000 You have a hard time knowing who you are.

01:14:23.000 Maybe you think you're more than you are or you want more than you're getting.

01:14:27.000 And then all of a sudden you're in this position where people revere you.

01:14:30.000 Yeah.

01:14:32.000 That's intoxicating.

01:14:33.000 And then you're literally speaking at a church.

01:14:36.000 You're speaking to your flock.

01:14:39.000 Yeah.

01:14:39.000 I think that's why they made Catholic priests celibate.

01:14:41.000 I think they were probably banging everybody back in the day.

01:14:44.000 Don't you think?

01:14:45.000 Yeah.

01:14:45.000 Of course.

01:14:46.000 They were rock stars. 0.99

01:14:48.000 Like, Giancarlo, you're fucking way too many of the members. 0.99

01:14:51.000 What? 0.99

01:14:52.000 What do I do wrong?

01:14:54.000 What do I do wrong?

01:14:54.000 You're talking about Italians, first of all.

01:14:56.000 Savages. 1.00

01:14:57.000 Savage people.

01:14:58.000 Yeah, dude.

01:14:58.000 And then you're talking about Italians from a thousand years ago, even more savage.

01:15:02.000 And then you're talking about the one dudes who could read Latin.

01:15:05.000 So they're reading the Bible. 0.99

01:15:06.000 No one else even knows what the fuck is going on. 0.99

01:15:09.000 Until Martin Luther came along. 0.95

01:15:10.000 And translated the Bible into phonetic languages.

01:15:14.000 What is it, German first?

01:15:15.000 Did Martin Luther convert it to...

01:15:17.000 He translated it into German, I think.

01:15:20.000 I forget what language it was, but he translated the Bible so that regular people who could read could read it, because they didn't know Latin.

01:15:27.000 And then he basically said you should interpret the Bible any way you see fit. 0.97

01:15:32.000 The Bible's there for you to interpret it, which was a fucking horrific affront to the Catholic Church. 0.99

01:15:39.000 The Catholic Church freaked out. 0.99

01:15:41.000 Like, all the churches back then probably wanted to kill him.

01:15:44.000 I don't know.

01:15:45.000 Was it the Catholic church that he did it to?

01:15:46.000 Whatever church it was.

01:15:48.000 Protestant?

01:15:49.000 Yeah.

01:15:49.000 I'm not sure what church it was.

01:15:51.000 But he spoke Latin, you know, and he translated.

01:15:55.000 The priests were the ones, like, you had to have formal training.

01:15:58.000 Yeah.

01:15:59.000 Like, Latin, even back then, was a dying language. 0.97

01:16:03.000 Even when there's people that still study it today, which is fucking wild. 0.97

01:16:07.000 Latin's wild. 0.97

01:16:07.000 What if they bring it back, though, huh? 0.97

01:16:09.000 Oh, it'd be a great thing to learn.

01:16:11.000 You can have conversations to people in Latin.

01:16:13.000 Behind somebody's back.

01:16:15.000 I wonder how well you can communicate with it.

01:16:17.000 I mean, I'm sure there's enough...

01:16:19.000 Well, you can't use any...

01:16:20.000 Of course, there's no slang in it, but you can make up new slang, Latin...

01:16:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:16:25.000 Yeah.

01:16:25.000 The gabagool.

01:16:28.000 Yeah.

01:16:29.000 The gabagool.

01:16:31.000 The gabagool.

01:16:32.000 Get a little fucking bush of dush. 1.00

01:16:34.000 Strew your dell. 1.00

01:16:35.000 Strew your dell.

01:16:36.000 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 You have to throw a dell.

01:16:37.000 They've got shit for that, for sure. 1.00

01:16:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:16:41.000 Imagine if they brought Latin back. 1.00

01:16:44.000 Well, what's stopping someone from inventing a new language and everyone adopting it?

01:16:47.000 There's two guys talking.

01:16:48.000 You're talking in Latin?

01:16:49.000 Yeah, well, let's talk about this.

01:16:52.000 Hello, hello, hello, Luke.

01:16:55.000 Thank you so much for coming on today.

01:16:59.000 Sounds Chinese.

01:17:03.000 Let me hear it.

01:17:03.000 That was that guy's name, I guess.

01:17:05.000 Have you seen your videos online in Latin?

01:17:08.000 Thank you, friends.

01:17:09.000 My name is Lucius Amadeus Ranieri.

01:17:13.000 I'm born in Pennsylvania.

01:17:17.000 I'm born 366 years.

01:17:20.000 And I'm a YouTuber, and you are on my channel.

01:17:28.000 I'm happy to be here.

01:17:34.000 Wow.

01:17:35.000 I know some of that.

01:17:36.000 There's a little bit of Italian in there.

01:17:38.000 Yeah, I hear a bunch of it.

01:17:39.000 I took two years in high school.

01:17:40.000 Some of it makes sense, but it's also...

01:17:42.000 Spanish makes more sense, too.

01:17:46.000 You have to sound like a cartoon version whenever I read it.

01:17:50.000 I immediately my voice goes like...

01:17:56.000 Did I ever tell you a time I encountered this church that was trying to get me to join when I was in college?

01:18:02.000 What was it?

01:18:03.000 I was taking Italian and there's people in this Italian class with me and there was this one hot Puerto Rican girl. 1.00

01:18:10.000 She wore glasses.

01:18:11.000 She was smoking.

01:18:12.000 There's always one.

01:18:12.000 She was so hot I couldn't talk to her.

01:18:14.000 I was like...

01:18:14.000 You know what I mean?

01:18:16.000 I didn't have much confidence about that.

01:18:17.000 And she invited me one day to go with her and her friends to some weekend retreat.

01:18:27.000 And I was like, what?

01:18:29.000 What are you guys doing?

01:18:30.000 I didn't know it was like a religious retreat.

01:18:32.000 She's trying to convert me. 0.94

01:18:33.000 And I thought I was just getting invited to this cool kids party.

01:18:37.000 I'm like, well, I can't this weekend, but, you know, maybe another time I could do it.

01:18:42.000 You know, like that weekend, I think I had a tournament or something like that.

01:18:44.000 It was when I was still competing.

01:18:45.000 And then, like a couple of weeks later, we're in the...

01:18:53.000 Actually, I think I was done doing fighting.

01:18:55.000 I think I was doing stand-up at the time.

01:18:57.000 So there's something going on.

01:18:58.000 I had a gig maybe.

01:18:59.000 Whatever it was.

01:19:00.000 I'm trying to remember what year it is because now I'm thinking it's like 89. Maybe even 90. So there was a plane crash and it was Trump's airplane.

01:19:11.000 It was like Trump Airlines and it crashed in Boston and like the front wheels didn't come down. 0.98

01:19:17.000 So they had to like skid into the runway with sparks and shit. 0.89

01:19:22.000 So I see them all eating and they invite me over to their table. 0.93

01:19:27.000 What year is this?

01:19:27.000 89. So it's perfect.

01:19:29.000 Right.

01:19:29.000 So it's right after I stopped fighting.

01:19:32.000 Maybe I was fighting a little bit and then right when I just started doing stand-up.

01:19:36.000 And there was this table full of them, and they come sit with us.

01:19:42.000 I'm like, okay, cool.

01:19:43.000 I go, hey, you guys hear about the plane crash?

01:19:44.000 And they go, no. 0.97

01:19:45.000 I go, yeah, the fucking front wheels didn't come down, the plane skid, there were sparks and everything. 0.98

01:19:50.000 And they're all staring at me. 0.99

01:19:52.000 I go, but nobody died.

01:19:54.000 And then that hot Puerto Rican girl goes, praise God, praise God. 1.00

01:19:58.000 And they all started going, praise God, praise God.

01:20:01.000 And I was like, praise God.

01:20:02.000 Oh, no. 1.00

01:20:03.000 And then immediately I'm like, duh, stupid. 1.00

01:20:05.000 She doesn't like you. 1.00

01:20:07.000 She doesn't like you. 1.00

01:20:08.000 She wants to convert you to her fucking wacky Christian cult. 1.00

01:20:11.000 Yeah, but if the pussy was good enough, you know, you might as well go to the can. 1.00

01:20:14.000 Just go check it out. 1.00

01:20:16.000 Check it out.

01:20:16.000 Do a trial run.

01:20:17.000 I was scared.

01:20:18.000 Yeah.

01:20:19.000 It's too susceptible.

01:20:20.000 Well, Jesus lets them in the booty. 0.97

01:20:21.000 You know that.

01:20:22.000 You could always do booty stuff.

01:20:23.000 That's the Catholic loophole. 0.60

01:20:25.000 I don't think that's written anywhere.

01:20:26.000 I think someone can refute that.

01:20:28.000 Yes, it is.

01:20:28.000 I think it's in Corinthians.

01:20:30.000 Look it up.

01:20:32.000 413. First or second letter.

01:20:34.000 I think it's, yeah.

01:20:35.000 Thou shall enter booty. 0.92

01:20:37.000 It's literally sodomy. 0.98

01:20:38.000 It's literally Sodom and Gomorrah. 0.94

01:20:41.000 That's why he killed everybody.

01:20:42.000 That's right. 1.00

01:20:42.000 Everybody's all butt-fucking. 1.00

01:20:43.000 Tight it up. 0.99

01:20:44.000 That's a wrap.

01:20:45.000 Keep it tight, baby.

01:20:46.000 Keep it tight back there.

01:20:47.000 No, that's the...

01:20:48.000 Who does it?

01:20:49.000 That's a loophole?

01:20:50.000 No, no, yeah.

01:20:50.000 Who does it?

01:20:51.000 The Mormon kids, they do the soaking and then they do the bouncing. 1.00

01:20:54.000 The soaking is hilarious.

01:20:55.000 And you know about the bouncing.

01:20:56.000 You know this, right?

01:20:57.000 No, it's the bouncing.

01:20:57.000 Somebody goes underneath.

01:20:58.000 I don't know what it's called.

01:20:59.000 You can look it up.

01:21:00.000 Jamie knows.

01:21:01.000 Somebody gets onto the bed when someone's soaking and they push the bed so there's movement. 0.94

01:21:05.000 So it's almost as if they're fucking, but they aren't making the movement. 0.98

01:21:08.000 Oh my God, that's hilarious. 0.99

01:21:08.000 This is legit. 0.99

01:21:10.000 What's it called, Jamie?

01:21:11.000 Jump humping.

01:21:12.000 Someone else jumps on the bed to get to bed.

01:21:16.000 Like you're trying to double-bounce someone on a trampoline so they'll start moving.

01:21:20.000 No, people find loopholes.

01:21:21.000 Jump-humping, dude.

01:21:22.000 That is hilarious.

01:21:23.000 Warman Teens on TikTok, see that?

01:21:24.000 Jump-humping. 0.97

01:21:24.000 Finding themselves jump-humping, a tactic used to avoid thrusting during penetrative sex. 0.97

01:21:29.000 Because the thrusting, I think the thrusting is what is prohibited.

01:21:32.000 So you can soak.

01:21:34.000 That is amazing.

01:21:34.000 No in-and-out movement, but the jump-humpers.

01:21:37.000 It's amazing that you can soak.

01:21:38.000 You can soak.

01:21:38.000 I think they found the loophole, dude.

01:21:40.000 You can soak.

01:21:40.000 Soaking is amazing.

01:21:41.000 Yeah.

01:21:43.000 Jump-humping is so funny.

01:21:44.000 When you were a teenager, you were like, soaking, we're good.

01:21:46.000 I don't need to move.

01:21:47.000 No.

01:21:47.000 Well, also, but immediately you put it in.

01:21:49.000 And you're like, I'm gone.

01:21:52.000 Yeah, it's so dangerous.

01:21:54.000 And that's when kids, like, when teenagers are having sex with each other, they're at their most fertile and they're at their least control.

01:22:01.000 Yeah, that's why you're pregnant. 1.00

01:22:03.000 They're like, we just had sex once.

01:22:04.000 It's like, you're pregnant. 0.98

01:22:05.000 That's why you're pregnant. 1.00

01:22:05.000 Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes. 1.00

01:22:07.000 Because your body is just like, okay. 0.99

01:22:09.000 And so I'm dumb. 1.00

01:22:09.000 And the moment as a kid, as a dude, the first time you fuck, you're just like... 1.00

01:22:14.000 Well, what's nuts is that that's how the body's designed. 0.99

01:22:17.000 Like, you are your most fertile, and you're the most likely to conceive.

01:22:22.000 And it's also like, that's what nature wants. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Nature wants you to have sex when you're a fucking kid. 1.00

01:22:29.000 You're 16! 1.00

01:22:30.000 That's because we weren't supposed to last more than 20 years.

01:22:32.000 I think nature was like, get this done now, you're dead in a decade.

01:22:35.000 No, but we haven't adapted to that yet.

01:22:37.000 We haven't adjusted.

01:22:38.000 Do you think that will ever catch up?

01:22:41.000 How could it?

01:22:42.000 It would take so long.

01:22:43.000 It's not like people are going to stop humping.

01:22:46.000 Yeah, I mean, chemically, I don't know what would change... 0.89

01:22:49.000 You would have to almost delay puberty, but then when you would fuck up people's development, like, what could you do?

01:22:55.000 Because there's a, you know, there's a window when your hormones, you're growing and your hormones are kicking in and all this stuff is kind of synced normally by nature.

01:23:03.000 If you interfere with that because you think the kids can't handle having sex, like, you're gonna delay, what are you gonna delay puberty?

01:23:10.000 Like, until they're smart enough? 0.90

01:23:11.000 Well, you're not even smart enough when you're in your 20s. 0.89

01:23:14.000 No, you're not smart enough. 0.99

01:23:15.000 No one's smart enough.

01:23:16.000 It never kicks in.

01:23:17.000 Well, that's what's wild about humans, right?

01:23:19.000 There's this clear biological imperative to procreate, and it kicks in when you have no business teaching a kid life.

01:23:29.000 To raise a child when you're 15, and the husband's 15, and you're 15, and you just gave birth to a baby, and you're a baby!

01:23:39.000 Yeah.

01:23:40.000 Like that 16 and Pregnant show or whatever. 1.00

01:23:42.000 It's like when it works, you're happy because you're like, the kid might turn out to have a nice life. 1.00

01:23:47.000 But when you see that goes awry, it's sad as shit. 0.98

01:23:50.000 Because a lot of times it's bound to lose, you know? 0.98

01:23:54.000 But then, sometimes you wait too long and it gets harder to have kids.

01:23:59.000 I've dealt with that.

01:24:00.000 It's wild how your body sometimes, or the body is like...

01:24:04.000 You missed the window.

01:24:05.000 Maybe you missed the window.

01:24:06.000 Yeah, but then they have in vitro fertilization. 1.00

01:24:09.000 Yeah, science fixes all that shit. 0.99

01:24:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:12.000 Well, they're developing the concept, at least, of artificial wombs. 0.99

01:24:18.000 And they think that there will be a time where they'll be able to have babies outside of a human body.

01:24:24.000 Just growing next to you in your house?

01:24:26.000 Yeah.

01:24:26.000 How far away is that?

01:24:28.000 Because I read something recently on this as a concept that they think that – but then like what is the baby getting from the mother in terms of like emotions and feeling and like babies are – Empathic,

01:24:44.000 right?

01:24:45.000 They're feeling the mother's stress.

01:24:46.000 Your cortisol raises when your mother's under stress.

01:24:50.000 It's probably lessons.

01:24:53.000 You're learning things from the mother.

01:24:56.000 Just from feelings.

01:24:57.000 Instinctual stuff kicks in.

01:24:59.000 I wonder.

01:24:59.000 It's got to be based on diet and your lifestyle schedule and the way that you operate has to influence the way that the...

01:25:06.000 Can you imagine if they made babies in an artificial womb and the babies just came out soulless? 0.98

01:25:13.000 What do you do?

01:25:14.000 It's very stiff.

01:25:15.000 Yeah, and then the scientists say, well, actually, we've discovered the soul's real.

01:25:18.000 Yeah.

01:25:18.000 And it only comes from the mother into the baby, and it comes while the baby's inside the mother.

01:25:24.000 That's actually a great movie.

01:25:25.000 They think that actually, that was like an ancient belief that the soul entered the body at a certain time.

01:25:33.000 Now, I'm thinking about it.

01:25:34.000 I think it was like six weeks.

01:25:36.000 There was like...

01:25:38.000 There was an ancient belief that there was a very specific time where the soul entered the body.

01:25:44.000 While you're in the womb?

01:25:45.000 Yeah, while the baby's in the womb.

01:25:46.000 So you're in there for six weeks, cooking.

01:25:48.000 At six weeks, that's when the soul shows up.

01:25:50.000 Is that what they think it was?

01:25:51.000 What was this ancient myth, belief, whatever?

01:25:55.000 Who knows if it's real?

01:25:57.000 I feel like it'd be right the moment that there's fertilization.

01:26:02.000 Aristotle believed it?

01:26:03.000 In the time of Aristotle is actually what it says.

01:26:07.000 So I entered the embryo at 40 days for a male and 90 days for a female.

01:26:11.000 Beat you there, girls. 1.00

01:26:12.000 I wonder why I waited.

01:26:14.000 Why they chill? 0.99

01:26:15.000 They're fucking late. 0.99

01:26:16.000 They gotta do something. 1.00

01:26:17.000 What's it called?

01:26:18.000 Insolment.

01:26:19.000 Insolment.

01:26:20.000 Insolment.

01:26:21.000 And so that was just their belief.

01:26:23.000 Was it based on any thought?

01:26:25.000 This is Hippocrates.

01:26:26.000 Was the first to believe this?

01:26:29.000 Well, he's always contradicting himself.

01:26:30.000 The embryo was a product of male. 0.99

01:26:32.000 Hypocrisy. 0.77

01:26:38.000 Why are we...

01:26:39.000 I wonder, why do you speculate we're 40 and they're 90?

01:26:43.000 Well, back then they probably didn't like girls.

01:26:45.000 Right, that's why. 1.00

01:26:46.000 These bitches are slow. 1.00

01:26:47.000 They don't even get their souls when we get our souls. 1.00

01:26:49.000 Give me the taste of the good stuff.

01:26:50.000 Yeah, baby.

01:26:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:52.000 These bitches are slow. 1.00

01:26:53.000 I mean, they probably, yeah, they probably was misogyny. 1.00

01:26:57.000 They probably get it before we do, if anything.

01:26:59.000 The artificial womb thing I found, 2019 there's an article that said they think they're 10 years away, but I dug through that real quick to find the person that was claiming that, and it turns out it's just like an artist.

01:27:10.000 Oh.

01:27:11.000 It wasn't a group of scientists saying it was like an artist that says like, we might be there.

01:27:15.000 Hey man, artists are scientists.

01:27:16.000 That would scare the shit out of me if they started making people in a lab. 0.99

01:27:20.000 Oof.

01:27:21.000 You don't think they're doing that already?

01:27:23.000 I feel like they've got to be manipulating...

01:27:26.000 I bet in another country they're doing it.

01:27:28.000 I think we got our hands in there, baby.

01:27:30.000 Do you think so?

01:27:31.000 I think for sure.

01:27:32.000 You think like in Area 51?

01:27:34.000 For sure.

01:27:34.000 You're out there making people?

01:27:35.000 Well, don't you think it was so funny that for how many years... 0.96

01:27:37.000 When you were a kid, for how many years did you hear about, you know, that alien life forms at Area 51, that's all bullshit, that's not what it... 0.88

01:27:46.000 And then now they're like, no, no, no, we... 1.00

01:27:48.000 There's some alien shit over there. 1.00

01:27:50.000 They don't say that. 1.00

01:27:51.000 Yeah, they do.

01:27:52.000 No, they don't.

01:27:52.000 They say there's something unidentified.

01:27:54.000 They found things that they don't know really what it is, that they've experimented on, for sure.

01:27:59.000 I could tell you exactly what they've said.

01:28:00.000 What do they say?

01:28:01.000 I've talked to a lot of these guys.

01:28:03.000 What the government is admitting is that they believe that there are crafts that are operating that are outside of their understanding of physics.

01:28:12.000 They've never said that we have anything at all?

01:28:13.000 There have been people that have said, and this is a quote from the Pentagon, that there was off-world vehicles not from this earth.

01:28:24.000 But who said that quote is what I was always confused about.

01:28:27.000 It was like one of the top Pentagon officials.

01:28:30.000 It's like one of those things where it's like, wait a minute, who said that?

01:28:32.000 And what is the exact quote?

01:28:33.000 How did you exactly say it?

01:28:35.000 How much of this is clickbait?

01:28:37.000 But I've talked to multiple pilots that have had encounters.

01:28:41.000 I gotta know we got something.

01:28:43.000 And I don't know if it's ours, if it's a drone that we don't tell them about that moves in a way that defies our understanding of physics because it doesn't operate on a propulsion engine.

01:28:57.000 It operates on something that's completely new and unique.

01:29:00.000 And there have been thoughts about how a new and unique gravity-based propulsion system would work for decades.

01:29:07.000 Yeah.

01:29:24.000 In other words, spaceships.

01:29:46.000 The article hailed as, a historical inflection point in our attitudes towards, our attitudes regarding UFOs, implied the same message that the most recent one does.

01:29:56.000 Basically, flying saucers are real.

01:29:58.000 Can I see a picture of Eric W. Davis? 1.00

01:30:00.000 Yeah, let's get a look at how much pussy Eric's got. 1.00

01:30:02.000 I want to see this cat. 0.99

01:30:03.000 I want to see his, I want to see how much I believe him based on his look.

01:30:05.000 Yes, let's just go just for his look.

01:30:07.000 Let's see what he looks like, just so I can see what he looks like.

01:30:09.000 Is that him?

01:30:12.000 No.

01:30:12.000 That's here in Austin.

01:30:15.000 Warp Drive Metrics.

01:30:16.000 Consulting for the Department of Defense.

01:30:17.000 That's it.

01:30:18.000 Just go back and go to images, though.

01:30:19.000 Is that him?

01:30:19.000 Jamie, click on images so we can pick one for fun, you know?

01:30:22.000 Like, so we can make a...

01:30:23.000 Oh, that's him!

01:30:24.000 Dude, that is him!

01:30:25.000 Wow.

01:30:26.000 There's your dog.

01:30:27.000 Off-world technology.

01:30:29.000 Okay, so based on that first picture in the Hawaiian shirt, do we believe it?

01:30:36.000 I'm a little skeptical.

01:30:38.000 I'm skeptical.

01:30:38.000 I don't know, dude.

01:30:40.000 That Tommy Bahama's leading me down a weird line.

01:30:42.000 But if you were the Pentagon, you wanted to hire a guy.

01:30:46.000 That's the guy.

01:30:47.000 That is the guy.

01:30:48.000 Because you don't want any distractions.

01:30:49.000 You want a guy who's 100% invested.

01:30:52.000 So he was back then, too?

01:30:54.000 I don't know.

01:30:54.000 What year is that?

01:30:55.000 Is that Jacques Vallée?

01:30:56.000 It's like a white power. 0.94

01:30:57.000 Huntsville, Alabama?

01:30:58.000 Yeah, looks like it's him.

01:30:59.000 What is, is that Jacques Vallée with him?

01:31:03.000 Hmm.

01:31:04.000 Interesting.

01:31:05.000 Wait, do you know what's crazy about what I just said about you saying that too?

01:31:08.000 What?

01:31:08.000 In that photo, I was just joking around saying, like, it looks like he's throwing up like a white power symbol, this guy, like a Nazi salute.

01:31:13.000 Right. 0.60

01:31:13.000 You know what's insane? 0.60

01:31:14.000 What?

01:31:14.000 Huntsville.

01:31:15.000 Huntsville.

01:31:15.000 That's where the KKK was started.

01:31:17.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:31:18.000 Literally.

01:31:18.000 Is that Jacques Vallée with him?

01:31:20.000 I think he's too old in that image.

01:31:22.000 I think he's too old in that image.

01:31:23.000 I played that gig in Huntsville.

01:31:25.000 Joe, we took a ride from Nashville down to Huntsville.

01:31:28.000 And the driver was a really cool dude, really nice guy.

01:31:31.000 And I was playing the Huntsville, you know, whatever's down there.

01:31:34.000 I don't know what it is down there in Alabama.

01:31:36.000 But you do like a one show after Nashville.

01:31:38.000 And we're driving and he's like, he's like, you know, NASA's right here.

01:31:43.000 And I was like, Oh, really?

01:31:44.000 He's like, right there, dude.

01:31:46.000 He won't see it.

01:31:47.000 Yeah, if we have time, for sure.

01:31:49.000 Drives by, seeing the outside of it. 0.95

01:31:51.000 You know, they have fucking, like, rockets outside. 1.00

01:31:53.000 It's dope as shit. 0.99

01:31:53.000 And I was like, whoa, this is so cool. 0.99

01:31:55.000 He's like, yeah, man, a lot of fucking nerds is gonna be at your show from there, I'm sure. 0.98

01:31:59.000 And I was like, yeah, hopefully. 0.97

01:32:01.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah, it's a cool little thing that they got plopped it right down here by us.

01:32:04.000 Down that road, KKK got started.

01:32:07.000 I was like, oh, what a juxtaposition of that to that.

01:32:11.000 He's like, yeah, you know, you know, not proud of it, but that's where it is.

01:32:15.000 I was like, so right there is NASA, like the most brilliant minds on Earth. 1.00

01:32:20.000 A mile away from the most chaotically stupid people on planet. 1.00

01:32:25.000 I was like, that's so... 1.00

01:32:26.000 It's like universal comedy given to the Earth, where it's like, NASA, complete insane shitheads a mile away from each other. 0.86

01:32:35.000 Where it was birthed. 0.56

01:32:36.000 Yeah, where it was birthed.

01:32:37.000 And I asked him if it was still over there, and he's like, I don't know, but I don't know.

01:32:42.000 And I was like, okay.

01:32:43.000 So, yeah, they're there.

01:32:45.000 Imagine if you were working on a base... 1.00

01:32:48.000 And they brought in some shit. 1.00

01:32:51.000 Imagine if you're one of the guys that's... 0.99

01:32:53.000 Someone's gotta move those things around.

01:32:55.000 They're not having the eggheads move them around.

01:32:57.000 No.

01:32:58.000 They're gonna have guys like you and me.

01:32:59.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:33:00.000 If you and me were working on some fucking Air Force Base, top secret clearance... 1.00

01:33:04.000 We'd be moving the shit. 1.00

01:33:05.000 We know how to shut the fuck up because all our phones are bugged. 1.00

01:33:07.000 Right. 0.79

01:33:08.000 You know, like, they bug everything.

01:33:09.000 For sure.

01:33:10.000 They bug your house. 1.00

01:33:10.000 Make sure you're not talking to any shit. 1.00

01:33:12.000 You're not saying nothing. 1.00

01:33:14.000 Put a chip in your neck. 0.96

01:33:15.000 And then they wheel in this burnt-up UFO. They're like, what is this?

01:33:22.000 And they're like, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:33:24.000 Nothing. 1.00

01:33:25.000 Get out of here. 1.00

01:33:26.000 I think I'll let anybody see that shit. 0.99

01:33:28.000 Well, someone has to move it in. 1.00

01:33:29.000 No, those guys do, but they tell your boss to get the fuck out of the building. 0.98

01:33:32.000 Right, but if you're one of those guys that has to move it in. 0.87

01:33:34.000 Oh, those guys.

01:33:34.000 Somebody has to move it in.

01:33:35.000 They're not going to get the eggheads to move the thing.

01:33:37.000 Oh, that's not that they're talking about the eggheads.

01:33:38.000 Like, what are they doing? 0.98

01:33:39.000 No, if you have an enormous fucking spaceship, and you're a guy like you and I were in maintenance in Area 51. We definitely are in maintenance, dude! 0.98

01:33:47.000 100%.

01:33:47.000 I'm cranking away at something.

01:33:49.000 Yeah.

01:33:50.000 And you're like, come on, brother. 0.99

01:33:51.000 You gotta help me move this fucking thing out this van. 0.98

01:33:53.000 We gotta move this thing. 0.99

01:33:54.000 And we get it.

01:33:56.000 It's got like a low hum to it.

01:34:00.000 Just putting out a cigarette next to it.

01:34:01.000 I don't know if it's gonna be near it.

01:34:03.000 Set it down there. 1.00

01:34:04.000 It's covered in fucking soot and dirt and shit. 1.00

01:34:07.000 And you're like, what the fuck is this? 1.00

01:34:09.000 It's dripping. 0.99

01:34:10.000 It crashed in the North Pole.

01:34:12.000 Yeah, it's dripping.

01:34:13.000 I don't know.

01:34:13.000 It's leaking.

01:34:14.000 Something's leaking out of it.

01:34:15.000 Bro. 0.99

01:34:15.000 Like it's oil or some shit. 0.99

01:34:16.000 Bro. 0.98

01:34:17.000 Are you testing it?

01:34:18.000 Yeah, I'd taste it.

01:34:19.000 You wouldn't taste it?

01:34:20.000 I don't know.

01:34:20.000 I'd taste it.

01:34:21.000 Fuck it. 1.00

01:34:21.000 How much would that change your life if you saw a spaceship from another planet? 1.00

01:34:25.000 Like, for sure, from another planet.

01:34:26.000 The problem is, this is the never-ending, who's going to believe you?

01:34:30.000 Because then you automatically become like the, I'm dead serious.

01:34:33.000 And everybody's like, all right, dude.

01:34:35.000 You become that guy.

01:34:36.000 So you'd have to be...

01:34:38.000 No, there is no way.

01:34:40.000 It's like a never-ending, who's going to believe you?

01:34:43.000 Because even people that really love you, your wife, like someone that's like, that knows you the best would be like, babe, is everything okay?

01:34:51.000 You're like, no, I'm serious.

01:34:52.000 Yeah, they would start thinking you're cracking.

01:34:53.000 Yeah, they're like, you're losing it.

01:34:55.000 They would tell their friends.

01:34:56.000 I don't know what's been going on.

01:34:58.000 Interchanges medications.

01:35:00.000 He's seeing things.

01:35:03.000 Yeah.

01:35:03.000 That was like, I don't know why this shot into my brain, but there was a great documentary about a retirement community in Florida.

01:35:11.000 And at this point in his life, the dude decided to start experimenting with drugs because he's like, fuck it, dude, I'm old. 0.99

01:35:17.000 Yeah, he's 80. Yeah, and he was like, I don't give a shit. 1.00

01:35:19.000 And the poor wife would be like... 1.00

01:35:21.000 There's a scene where she's like... 0.94

01:35:24.000 They're both sweet from the South.

01:35:26.000 And she's like, what are you going to do?

01:35:27.000 And he opens the door and he's baked out of his mind.

01:35:29.000 He goes, don't come in here. 1.00

01:35:31.000 I'm going to be jerking off. 1.00

01:35:35.000 He closes the door on her. 1.00

01:35:38.000 And you can tell...

01:35:39.000 She looks at the...

01:35:40.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it's called.

01:35:42.000 Some kind of heaven.

01:35:44.000 That's the guy. 0.99

01:35:45.000 Brother, it's so fucking... 0.99

01:35:47.000 This is such a great, beautiful docuseries about what it's like to live in one of these retirement... 0.99

01:35:53.000 That's him.

01:35:53.000 He's punching himself, dude.

01:35:55.000 Oh my god, with a kung fu outfit on. 0.97

01:35:57.000 That guy looks like a party.

01:35:58.000 Dude, he's awesome.

01:36:00.000 Where is he?

01:36:00.000 This is all in Florida at this resort.

01:36:02.000 Oh, and they're all doing karate together and working out.

01:36:05.000 That looks like fun.

01:36:06.000 So it's a High-end resort, you pay this huge fee to get in, right?

01:36:09.000 And there's monthly fees.

01:36:12.000 You do stuff.

01:36:13.000 Everything's included, though.

01:36:14.000 But it's very promotional of active elderly.

01:36:16.000 So they're like, this isn't like a common hospice. 0.99

01:36:20.000 It's like, are you young enough to want to still go out and fuck and go drink and party? 0.99

01:36:24.000 And they all go there to party. 0.99

01:36:26.000 And this dude, he found cocaine, by the way, which is...

01:36:29.000 Donuts.

01:36:31.000 Yeah, dude.

01:36:32.000 He's driving a golf cart he's just ripped out of his head.

01:36:34.000 Here's another documentary about it called Golf, Booze, and Guns Inside the Boomer Paradise.

01:36:38.000 It's awesome, dude.

01:36:39.000 That looks like fun.

01:36:41.000 That's where I'd want to go. 0.99

01:36:42.000 When we get old as fuck, dude, we should start our own. 0.99

01:36:45.000 100%. 0.99

01:36:45.000 Let's do it. 0.99

01:36:46.000 I would love that.

01:36:47.000 All old comics.

01:36:49.000 You know how much fun we would have?

01:36:51.000 Yeah.

01:36:52.000 You know?

01:36:52.000 Yes, dude.

01:36:53.000 It's kind of what we're doing here.

01:36:54.000 Yeah, this is kind of it.

01:36:57.000 This is my retirement.

01:36:58.000 We've got a lot of young guys here, too, though.

01:37:01.000 Dude, you guys do.

01:37:02.000 We've got a lot coming up.

01:37:03.000 The scene out here is moving heavy.

01:37:05.000 It's wild, isn't it? 0.93

01:37:06.000 I'm not trying to spread rumors, but old Joey DeRosa is going to be here this week, and he told me he wants to fucking move here. 0.84

01:37:15.000 I don't know if he's gonna, but I love Joe. 0.64

01:37:16.000 I'll tell him I'll open up a sandwich shop with him.

01:37:18.000 Dude, he might jump all over that.

01:37:22.000 Let's go, Joe.

01:37:23.000 I told him, I said, are you really going?

01:37:24.000 I texted him this morning, and he's like, where are you?

01:37:26.000 I said, I'm in Austin.

01:37:27.000 He's like, I'll be there in three days.

01:37:28.000 I was like, I'm out of here.

01:37:29.000 I'm sorry, man.

01:37:31.000 And he genuinely, I think he genuinely has this interest.

01:37:35.000 I would bug him about it.

01:37:36.000 I don't eat sandwiches, but I would eat one of his sandwiches.

01:37:40.000 No, they're great. 0.99

01:37:40.000 If I wanted to take, like, a cheap meal and feel like shit for 12 hours? 0.99

01:37:43.000 That's the one. 1.00

01:37:44.000 His fucking sandwiches look incredible. 1.00

01:37:46.000 Yeah, dude, it's so good. 0.99

01:37:47.000 The problem is, it's a bar, too, so, you know, old spotty liver over here.

01:37:51.000 I have to have a couple every time I go.

01:37:54.000 Look at his sandwiches.

01:37:55.000 Oh, my God.

01:37:56.000 They're delicious.

01:37:57.000 What is that one?

01:37:58.000 Peanut butter and jelly.

01:37:59.000 Oh my god, that looks incredible.

01:38:00.000 Yeah, with Ruffles, original.

01:38:02.000 Oh my god.

01:38:03.000 He's an animal.

01:38:05.000 There's no health involved in his food.

01:38:07.000 His food is all about mouth pleasure.

01:38:09.000 Yeah.

01:38:10.000 It looks fantastic though.

01:38:11.000 His subs look insane. 1.00

01:38:12.000 It's...

01:38:13.000 What's it called again?

01:38:14.000 Joey Roses?

01:38:14.000 Joey Roses, yeah.

01:38:15.000 I was just there.

01:38:16.000 I hear nothing but great things.

01:38:17.000 Just over there with him.

01:38:18.000 I hear the huge sandwiches, too.

01:38:19.000 They are.

01:38:20.000 And it's a great little spot.

01:38:21.000 I think it's in the East Village.

01:38:24.000 I love when a comic does something off the wall like that.

01:38:26.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

01:38:27.000 Trying shit is nice. 1.00

01:38:28.000 It's like, give it a fuck. 1.00

01:38:29.000 Why not? 1.00

01:38:30.000 Yeah.

01:38:30.000 Yeah, you know like a good buddy of mine, a comic, he's building a club.

01:38:35.000 It's a good thing.

01:38:37.000 It's gonna be good.

01:38:39.000 It's you.

01:38:40.000 Yeah.

01:38:41.000 You're my buddy.

01:38:41.000 Okay, I was confused.

01:38:45.000 I'm not building it.

01:38:46.000 I just paid people to do it.

01:38:47.000 That's right.

01:38:48.000 Well, yeah, that's right.

01:38:48.000 They're doing an amazing job.

01:38:50.000 I got to have a sneak peek, man.

01:38:51.000 It looks good.

01:38:52.000 Yeah, we're close.

01:38:52.000 I'm excited.

01:38:54.000 I told you, though, without giving anything away about it, but like...

01:38:57.000 That kill room, that little room.

01:38:59.000 Oh, my God.

01:39:00.000 That's what Bobby Kelly calls a kill box. 0.99

01:39:02.000 That's a kill box.

01:39:03.000 You know, like his special called Kill Box?

01:39:05.000 Because that's how he designed the room.

01:39:06.000 I walked in.

01:39:07.000 I knew right away.

01:39:08.000 I was like, this will be the thing.

01:39:09.000 You can feel...

01:39:10.000 It's something about certain rooms...

01:39:12.000 Somebody asked me one time on a show, on a podcast about, a guy who wasn't a comic was like, what makes a good room?

01:39:20.000 And I go, honestly, I can name you physical elements, but sometimes, I don't know, some things are a feeling where you're like, wow, something hits.

01:39:27.000 I don't know what it is.

01:39:28.000 I can tell you why we like low ceilings and why we like the way it's situated, but there's just rooms around the country. 0.91

01:39:35.000 You know that when you go in, you're like, wow, I fucking love.

01:39:37.000 There's also old buildings. 0.80

01:39:39.000 Well, yeah, the history does something to make it feel...

01:39:41.000 There's something about old buildings, yeah.

01:39:43.000 Like when you and I came back here before, when I was running around with you and we played the old Cap City...

01:39:51.000 I remember you being like, oh man, I fucking love the vibration of this room.

01:39:55.000 And it was something about, I don't know, I couldn't tell you. 0.69

01:39:58.000 Been around for decades.

01:39:59.000 Just has a, there's something in the guts of it.

01:40:01.000 You know, I tried to buy that place.

01:40:02.000 The old Cap City?

01:40:03.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:40:04.000 You did?

01:40:05.000 Yeah, they wanted too much money for it.

01:40:06.000 It was like the whole mall.

01:40:08.000 It was like, there was a lot of work involved and it was not in town.

01:40:11.000 The whole situation was not ideal.

01:40:14.000 And so I decided not to go with that, and then I went with another one, another place that turned out to be a former cult owned it.

01:40:22.000 Oh yeah, that's right!

01:40:23.000 Yes, and I didn't know, like, the extent of the cult.

01:40:26.000 I had heard it was a cult.

01:40:28.000 What kind of cult?

01:40:28.000 What did they do?

01:40:29.000 And then I watched a documentary called Holy Hell.

01:40:31.000 It's on Amazon.

01:40:32.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:40:33.000 The guy who ran the cult fucked everybody, including the guys. 1.00

01:40:36.000 He would charge the guys for therapy, charge them 50 bucks for therapy, and then he would fuck them. 1.00

01:40:41.000 Fucked everybody. 1.00

01:40:42.000 It's a part of therapy. 1.00

01:40:43.000 And this guy was like a low-rent actor.

01:40:47.000 He was in Rosemary's Baby for a very small scene as an extra.

01:40:51.000 Oh, okay.

01:40:52.000 Not one of the characters?

01:40:53.000 No.

01:40:53.000 No, he's like one scene with Mia Farrow.

01:40:56.000 Right. 0.99

01:40:57.000 And this guy went on to start this fucking cult in West Hollywood. 0.98

01:41:01.000 And then, I don't know, people were chasing him down or whatever, but he upended and took everybody to Austin and had them build this theater for him to dance in. 0.98

01:41:11.000 Just to dance?

01:41:12.000 Just to dance.

01:41:12.000 With other people?

01:41:13.000 Well, he would dance and perform for like all of his flock.

01:41:17.000 Wow.

01:41:18.000 Yeah, and then he up and took off and went to Hawaii.

01:41:22.000 This guy lives a pretty fun life though.

01:41:25.000 One of the guys confronted him in Hawaii.

01:41:27.000 That's him.

01:41:28.000 Holy hell.

01:41:29.000 That's the trailer.

01:41:30.000 That's the guy. 0.99

01:41:31.000 The guy had a bunch of plastic surgery and shit. 1.00

01:41:33.000 It was really weird fucking scene. 1.00

01:41:36.000 And that was that place. 0.99

01:41:38.000 I'm like, oh my god.

01:41:39.000 So I got out of that place.

01:41:41.000 I was like, oh no!

01:41:43.000 So we threw that place away.

01:41:44.000 Well, there was another issue that came about with that place before we found the place we're at now.

01:41:48.000 But the new joint is great.

01:41:49.000 The new joint is going to be hopping.

01:41:51.000 It is going to be great.

01:41:52.000 It's going to be hopping.

01:41:53.000 It's great to be...

01:41:54.000 I appreciate you for...

01:41:56.000 It's funny to be a part of those things because I know...

01:41:59.000 You know, in X amount of years, it'll be cool to... 0.86

01:42:01.000 It'll just be neat to look back and be like, dude, that's fucking wild. 0.80

01:42:04.000 I remember when you were... 0.73

01:42:05.000 I like being able to say that when we're having a whiskey in 10 years, being like, I remember when that was coming together, man.

01:42:11.000 That's wild what it is now.

01:42:12.000 It's just cool to see something kind of coming together.

01:42:16.000 It's uncomfortable to start things.

01:42:17.000 It's exciting, but it's also uncomfortable.

01:42:20.000 It's weird.

01:42:20.000 We talked about last night.

01:42:21.000 I was doing all new material.

01:42:22.000 It's so hard starting again or starting anew or fishing for the...

01:42:25.000 Doing something different, but it's really good for the mind.

01:42:27.000 It's good for you as a person.

01:42:29.000 It's good.

01:42:30.000 You need different kinds of experiences, and starting something from scratch is a different kind of experience.

01:42:35.000 That's one of the things about moving.

01:42:37.000 Moving to Austin was a different kind of experience.

01:42:40.000 I'm in a different place now.

01:42:41.000 It's a totally different setup.

01:42:43.000 I like it.

01:42:43.000 I like doing things like that.

01:42:45.000 They upend you and they make you sort of recalibrate.

01:42:49.000 You have your bumps.

01:42:51.000 Maybe this is the wrong move.

01:42:52.000 Maybe this is the right move.

01:42:53.000 Who knows?

01:42:54.000 But then you find your way.

01:42:56.000 But there's something about starting something new and difficult that's very exciting for people.

01:43:02.000 That's why I'm going to New York in May for that reason.

01:43:05.000 You moving to New York?

01:43:06.000 I don't say moving.

01:43:07.000 You gonna get a spot?

01:43:08.000 Yeah.

01:43:09.000 Where at?

01:43:09.000 What part?

01:43:10.000 Downtown.

01:43:11.000 I just like the rhythm of New York a lot.

01:43:14.000 I have a lot of good friends there.

01:43:18.000 And something hit me recently where I was like, I have the, I'm blessed enough, whatever you want to say, I'm privileged enough that I can do it.

01:43:25.000 Right.

01:43:26.000 So I want to do it.

01:43:27.000 And I'm working on this thing out there.

01:43:29.000 Did you talk to Ari?

01:43:30.000 Yeah, of course, you know him. 0.99

01:43:32.000 Yeah, he's the fucking main recruiter for New York. 0.98

01:43:34.000 He's the cult leader of getting people there. 0.99

01:43:36.000 He's like, you must come to New York.

01:43:38.000 He loves it.

01:43:39.000 He was excited.

01:43:40.000 He was excited. 0.99

01:43:40.000 He loves being a part of that fucking hum. 0.99

01:43:42.000 All those people. 0.99

01:43:44.000 It's just, I do love it.

01:43:45.000 I want something different.

01:43:47.000 West Hollywood was a long period of my life.

01:43:50.000 Now I live somewhere else in LA. And then I just was like, what if I jump out of LA for a while?

01:43:53.000 Good for you.

01:43:54.000 It's good for you. 0.97

01:43:55.000 Shake it the fuck up. 0.99

01:43:56.000 Shake it the fuck up. 0.98

01:43:57.000 It's good for you. 0.96

01:43:58.000 So many road gigs are on there, too.

01:44:00.000 If you're on the East Coast, you can go all over Connecticut and do road gigs.

01:44:04.000 Jersey, Philly, Boston.

01:44:05.000 Yeah, everywhere.

01:44:07.000 Everywhere.

01:44:07.000 A few hours drive and you're everywhere.

01:44:09.000 L.A. is like San Diego, San Francisco.

01:44:11.000 Yeah, and the amount of time it takes you to San Diego, you really have to leave at noon. 0.97

01:44:15.000 Because the traffic you hit in Orange County is fucking preposterous. 0.99

01:44:18.000 Yeah, it's gross. 0.99

01:44:19.000 It'll take five hours sometimes.

01:44:20.000 Easy.

01:44:20.000 That's why I need that jetpack, dude.

01:44:22.000 That's why...

01:44:22.000 And just zoop down there.

01:44:24.000 Burr was doing gigs in San Diego, and he's taking his helicopter.

01:44:27.000 Dude, insane. 0.97

01:44:28.000 That's so fucking cool, by the way. 0.99

01:44:30.000 It's amazing. 0.97

01:44:31.000 He's flying himself to San Diego with a helicopter.

01:44:34.000 Yeah, I'll do the gig.

01:44:34.000 Yeah, I'll come down.

01:44:35.000 You gotta have a fucking pad for me to land on? 0.99

01:44:37.000 Yeah, you gotta find a pad. 1.00

01:44:39.000 I saw a video this morning on the internet of how, it was like, it was in the Hamptons or something maybe? 0.97

01:44:44.000 And it was like, how rich people fuck with other rich people.

01:44:47.000 And it was a dude, and he's yelling at the helicopter, and the guy's in a helicopter, and he's like near his pool. 0.99

01:44:52.000 I mean, dude, he's gotta be 20 feet above, no shit, above his pool, and the wind is blowing all his yard shit, all his pool, like, chairs and shit, all over the place, and the guy's pissed. 0.99

01:45:01.000 And then you can tell that they're laughing about it, and then they fuck off in the helicopter. 1.00

01:45:05.000 So he's doing it just to fuck with the guy? 1.00

01:45:07.000 Just to fuck with this guy. 1.00

01:45:07.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:45:08.000 Yeah, it was badass. 1.00

01:45:09.000 What a douchebag. 0.99

01:45:09.000 It was so funny, dude. 0.99

01:45:11.000 It was like, this is how the richest have nothing to doers, this is exactly how they fuck with each other. 0.99

01:45:18.000 Is that legal? 1.00

01:45:19.000 No fucking no way. 0.98

01:45:20.000 How close are you allowed to be to a person's house with a helicopter? 0.99

01:45:23.000 I can't imagine you're allowed to be anywhere near private property.

01:45:26.000 You can kind of fly around in those things.

01:45:29.000 It was very bizarre.

01:45:31.000 But what's the restricted space?

01:45:32.000 I don't know.

01:45:33.000 I don't know.

01:45:34.000 But when I went out with Burr, we were flying around.

01:45:37.000 You just go where you want to go.

01:45:39.000 We flew over downtown LA. We flew over these buildings.

01:45:42.000 You're amazing how many buildings have X's on the top where they have a landing pad on the top.

01:45:47.000 Now, there's air traffic, obviously, he's in communication with.

01:45:51.000 Can you land on one of those?

01:45:52.000 It's a very good question.

01:45:53.000 I don't think so.

01:45:54.000 I think it's private property.

01:45:55.000 Sure.

01:45:55.000 But I think that I don't know if you have to tell everybody where you're going.

01:46:00.000 If you're on a plane, you have a direct flight path, Bill's kind of moving around, doing whatever he wants to do.

01:46:07.000 And they're like, let's go over here.

01:46:08.000 Okay, we're going over here.

01:46:10.000 Let's go over to that thing.

01:46:11.000 And then the guy who he's with is his co-pilot, who's his instructor.

01:46:16.000 They're talking about where to go.

01:46:18.000 I'll set it down here, and then you're going to lift it up.

01:46:20.000 So he sets it down on this hill.

01:46:23.000 It's such a comedian's machine of flight, though, because it's like, I'll just, wherever, man, we'll figure it out as we go.

01:46:28.000 Yeah.

01:46:29.000 Like, it's just like you're improv-ing the whole time in the air. 0.99

01:46:30.000 You're like, I guess we'll go over the fucking buildings? 0.98

01:46:32.000 We'll go over there? 0.99

01:46:32.000 I did that once in a single-engine Cessna. 0.99

01:46:36.000 Ooh. 0.99

01:46:37.000 Yeah, when I was in college, man, I was so dumb. 0.96

01:46:39.000 My buddy Mark was a pilot. 0.86

01:46:41.000 Yeah.

01:46:42.000 He used to take us up all the time.

01:46:44.000 And honestly, I don't regret it, but looking back, I'm lucky I'm alive.

01:46:49.000 We would just go.

01:46:50.000 We flew to San Diego.

01:46:52.000 We flew all over Denver.

01:46:53.000 He was like, you want to see the stadium? 1.00

01:46:55.000 I was like, fuck yeah, dude! 0.99

01:46:57.000 Stone flying over the stadium. 0.99

01:46:59.000 He was sober.

01:47:00.000 He was sober. 0.99

01:47:01.000 But I was like, it's funny that if you're in training, you can just take one of these fucking things up. 0.99

01:47:07.000 You can take one. 0.98

01:47:08.000 Just fly around?

01:47:08.000 Yeah, you can take one.

01:47:09.000 Yeah, you have to register a flight plan and then, you know, he pays for miles while he's getting his permits and you pay for gas and all that stuff.

01:47:17.000 Yeah, dude, we just took it.

01:47:18.000 We would take it to play.

01:47:19.000 We landed in Long Beach one time, at Long Beach's little regional airport. 1.00

01:47:23.000 Yeah, dude, it was very stupid. 0.98

01:47:25.000 When I used to hang out with Phil Hartman, he had his own plane. 1.00

01:47:28.000 He had one of those kind of planes.

01:47:29.000 Like a little Cessna?

01:47:30.000 He took me up in his plane.

01:47:32.000 He was so disciplined in his aviation work.

01:47:38.000 He had in between takes, he would go over his flight book.

01:47:42.000 He was reading all this because he had to take his flight examination.

01:47:45.000 So he started doing it when we first started NewsRadio.

01:47:47.000 But two years later, he's got a plane, he's flying around.

01:47:51.000 And so I went up with them once in this little single engine plane.

01:47:56.000 It's showing me, like, all these areas in the valley and all the different places to live.

01:48:01.000 It's sketchy, but it's cool.

01:48:03.000 It's sketchy, but it's pretty badass.

01:48:04.000 The freedom that you get just alone up there floating around is pretty amazing.

01:48:09.000 Have you seen these guys that go up in paramotors? 1.00

01:48:11.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:48:12.000 Oh, yeah, the paramotors are so badass. 1.00

01:48:15.000 That's so insane. 0.99

01:48:16.000 Just fucking floating at 6,000 feet. 1.00

01:48:17.000 That's so insane. 0.99

01:48:18.000 Look at that guy. 1.00

01:48:19.000 By the way, this is another thing where you're like, you just go wherever the fuck you want to go. 0.99

01:48:23.000 Now, how do you stop from getting hit by a plane? 0.93

01:48:26.000 Well, you're only 5,000 or 6,000 feet up.

01:48:27.000 How many in-air collisions take place?

01:48:31.000 You know?

01:48:31.000 They used to happen more often, I think, but they definitely still happen.

01:48:34.000 They happen at those air shows.

01:48:36.000 Did you see the one recently, the air show in Dallas?

01:48:39.000 It shook my core.

01:48:41.000 They're flying those old-ass planes, too.

01:48:43.000 It just banked so strange.

01:48:45.000 The way that other plane just banked, you were like, oh, God.

01:48:48.000 You knew almost right away. 0.99

01:48:51.000 Yeah, that's fucking horrible. 0.99

01:48:53.000 But it happens. 0.99

01:48:53.000 I feel like this happens so much that you're like, Why are we still doing these air shows? 0.99

01:48:58.000 Doesn't this, every year you're like, you hear what happened at the air show, and you're like, yeah, the fucking 15 kids' heads got cut off because they came too low. 0.95

01:49:04.000 I feel like every year something wild happens. 0.97

01:49:07.000 Unless you're a blue angel, you know what I mean? 0.98

01:49:10.000 Why are we still doing local fucking, local air shows? 0.96

01:49:13.000 They always, how many air show accidents happen? 0.99

01:49:16.000 A lot.

01:49:16.000 All the time.

01:49:17.000 I feel like every year someone's like, ooh, yeah, that was fucked up what happened at that one. 0.68

01:49:21.000 Even like those Thunderbird guys, they crash sometimes.

01:49:24.000 I think they have accidents, but I don't know if they crash-crash, but I do think they'll have accidents in the air, but those guys are like...

01:49:31.000 Cream of the crop.

01:49:32.000 Oh, tip-top.

01:49:32.000 Mark Smith, who's one of the UFC referees, was a Thunderbird pilot.

01:49:37.000 Was he?

01:49:37.000 Yeah, I had him on the podcast.

01:49:39.000 It's amazing.

01:49:40.000 You watch the videos of those guys flying around.

01:49:43.000 Insane.

01:49:43.000 They're like right next to each other's wings.

01:49:47.000 I know. 0.93

01:49:47.000 It fucks me up when I see it. 0.93

01:49:49.000 You're always like, I would... 0.99

01:49:49.000 All you have to do is dink! 0.99

01:49:52.000 If it was you and me, you know I'd be fucking around. 1.00

01:49:55.000 You're like, don't fuck around, dude. 1.00

01:49:57.000 Oh my God. 1.00

01:49:58.000 Do you imagine someone accidentally fucks around? 1.00

01:50:00.000 You both die? 1.00

01:50:01.000 Tip a wing.

01:50:02.000 Wasn't that in Top Gun, right?

01:50:03.000 It was a bad accident in 1982. The Thunderbirds?

01:50:06.000 Yeah, all four died.

01:50:07.000 All four died?

01:50:09.000 I don't know.

01:50:10.000 It says that was the last crash also.

01:50:12.000 That's incredible.

01:50:13.000 Because they do those...

01:50:15.000 Those exhibitions all the time.

01:50:18.000 They're badass, dude.

01:50:20.000 It's, I mean, just the, I mean, that kind of flying.

01:50:24.000 So cool.

01:50:24.000 Imagine the kind of power and maneuverability that a fighter jet has.

01:50:28.000 To handle the G's, too, on those turns, flipping like that constantly, I'm immediately throwing up.

01:50:34.000 I went up at the Blue Angels once.

01:50:36.000 Did you?

01:50:36.000 Yeah.

01:50:37.000 You had to drive all the way down to San Diego, and then you had to drive deep into the desert.

01:50:43.000 It was pretty far in.

01:50:44.000 And they take you up in an F-A-18, I think it was.

01:50:48.000 It was wild.

01:50:49.000 And you're not using a G-suit.

01:50:54.000 You're doing something called hooking.

01:50:56.000 Where you hold on to the handle, and as you hit heavier Gs, you have to go like this.

01:51:02.000 You're literally forcing blood into your head.

01:51:05.000 Right.

01:51:06.000 And you're feeling your consciousness closing in like an elevator door with the Gs.

01:51:10.000 We got to six and a half Gs before I couldn't take it anymore.

01:51:14.000 Six is a lot.

01:51:15.000 It was a lot.

01:51:15.000 That's a lot.

01:51:16.000 But those guys can do like nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

01:51:19.000 Well, sometimes I actually like getting stoned and watching those G-Force training videos just because the faces they make are funny.

01:51:24.000 Yeah, dude, it's...

01:51:26.000 Yeah.

01:51:27.000 At some point...

01:51:28.000 Oh, what's that?

01:51:29.000 It's like that, um...

01:51:30.000 Oh, JV. Grousing?

01:51:32.000 Grousing? 0.99

01:51:32.000 There's a sport in Britain where people try to make the most fucked up face. 0.99

01:51:37.000 There's like an award for it. 0.99

01:51:39.000 I swear to God.

01:51:40.000 I don't know what it's called, dude, but... 0.99

01:51:43.000 There is a it's like this is old British shit like you know that like the cheese hill You know they've rolled that cheese down the hill they chase it. 0.99

01:51:49.000 It's kind of like that where it's been around for like 300 fucking years. 0.99

01:51:52.000 Yeah, like we're still doing it But it's like who can make the most insanely grotesque Absurd face and they put a horse cop. 0.96

01:52:01.000 Yeah this what is it called gurning gurning gurning brother And it's how long can you hold it like that guy has a nail through his lip.

01:52:10.000 Oh, yeah Some of the greatest Gurning videos.

01:52:13.000 Yeah.

01:52:14.000 Gurning.

01:52:14.000 Like this guy.

01:52:16.000 They should combine that with darts.

01:52:20.000 But this is what the G-force looks like whenever I see it.

01:52:22.000 So this is the Gurning champion?

01:52:24.000 This is what you did when you didn't have movies and TV. This is the Gurning god, yeah.

01:52:28.000 Oh my god, look at these people. 1.00

01:52:31.000 There's a contest with the most fucked up face you can make. 1.00

01:52:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:52:36.000 That's great.

01:52:39.000 This is an announcer or something.

01:52:40.000 This is a big thing.

01:52:42.000 Oh my god, look at this guy. 0.99

01:52:44.000 How ugly can you be? 0.99

01:52:46.000 This is their competition? 1.00

01:52:47.000 The Brits, they're weird as fuck. 1.00

01:52:49.000 When did you hear about this? 1.00

01:52:51.000 I don't know.

01:52:52.000 Somebody sent something to me recently.

01:52:54.000 World professional gurning.

01:52:56.000 She's a comic. 0.99

01:52:57.000 That's Gina Gashier. 1.00

01:52:59.000 I can't say her last name.

01:53:00.000 She's a comedian. 1.00

01:53:01.000 And she's practicing with them? 0.99

01:53:03.000 Yeah, she's doing probably a travel show or some shit. 0.99

01:53:08.000 World ladies gurning champion. 0.99

01:53:10.000 No thanks.

01:53:12.000 So tell me about your new wife. 0.99

01:53:15.000 I met her gurning.

01:53:16.000 We were gurning together.

01:53:18.000 Someone who doesn't know is like, oh, is that like an extreme sport?

01:53:21.000 It's like, yeah.

01:53:23.000 Look, you know, it's her passion, so I don't want to pull her away from it.

01:53:26.000 Yeah, that's what people did before there were books. 0.99

01:53:29.000 When you stared at other humans and you were like, that guy's ugly as fuck, we should make him do a thing to make us laugh because we're bored. 0.98

01:53:35.000 How do you get attention in the neighborhood? 0.99

01:53:39.000 Yeah.

01:53:40.000 It's the same thing as like gesturing.

01:53:42.000 I imagine how that started was like an ugly weird dude did a thing and everyone laughed at him and someone higher up was like, you know who would like this?

01:53:51.000 The king. 1.00

01:53:52.000 The fucking king. 1.00

01:53:53.000 How many times did the king murder the jester? 1.00

01:53:55.000 Every time.

01:53:56.000 That had to have been part of the bit.

01:53:58.000 Let's Google that.

01:53:59.000 How many jesters were murdered by king?

01:54:01.000 Slain jesters. 0.99

01:54:02.000 It has to be like a very high number.

01:54:04.000 For sure.

01:54:05.000 Yeah.

01:54:05.000 At some point, they're done laughing.

01:54:07.000 Yeah, shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:54:09.000 Kill that fucking guy. 1.00

01:54:10.000 Guy's like trying too hard? 1.00

01:54:12.000 And you're drunk?

01:54:13.000 It's like my favorite...

01:54:15.000 I think I've talked about it on this show, but...

01:54:19.000 Stan Machaco?

01:54:20.000 I don't know how to pronounce his last name.

01:54:22.000 His most famous painting is called The Jester. 0.99

01:54:25.000 And it's one of my fucking favorites. 0.98

01:54:28.000 And Stan... 0.99

01:54:28.000 Stan Machaco? 0.99

01:54:30.000 I think it is.

01:54:31.000 But this, to me...

01:54:33.000 If I could buy the original, if I had enough money, I would buy it because it shows how comics feel sometimes when you're done.

01:54:41.000 You know, sometimes when you're done off a stage and you're fucking burnt, you're like, dude, I've been giving so much.

01:54:45.000 I'm tired. 0.91

01:54:46.000 I did two shows tonight.

01:54:48.000 You just kind of have that moment of just decompression.

01:54:51.000 You're not thinking.

01:54:52.000 After we would do shows together sometimes, you and I would sit in silence in the green room and just not say anything.

01:54:58.000 Just catch your breath.

01:54:59.000 Just catch your breath and chill out.

01:55:00.000 That's that Stan Matejko painting.

01:55:03.000 Look up The Jester.

01:55:04.000 I think it's called The Jester.

01:55:06.000 Do you have any date on how many jesters were murdered?

01:55:09.000 I haven't found anything yet.

01:55:10.000 Most of them weren't murdered.

01:55:12.000 Most of them weren't murdered?

01:55:14.000 One of them, the most famous one, I'm reading the story about how and why he was killed.

01:55:19.000 How was he killed?

01:55:20.000 Yeah, what did they do?

01:55:21.000 He pushed his luck, it seems like.

01:55:24.000 He asked the question to the king about, what if someone tried to kill me?

01:55:28.000 And he's like, don't worry about that.

01:55:29.000 If someone tries to kill you, they'd be killed. 0.99

01:55:31.000 The noble would be beheaded in not more than 15 minutes. 0.98

01:55:33.000 He responded, why not 15 minutes before?

01:55:38.000 His reply made sense, but it was not received well.

01:55:41.000 Yeah, bombed.

01:55:41.000 At a later date, he pushed his luck once more by physically humiliating the king.

01:55:45.000 After telling some joke, the jester slapped Francis I's royal behind amid roars of laughter from all the court's nobles.

01:55:55.000 The monarch threatened to have him hang for this unless he'd come up with an apology even more offensive than that act.

01:56:01.000 I'm so sorry, your majesty, but I didn't recognize you.

01:56:04.000 I mistook you for the queen.

01:56:05.000 Oh, two times.

01:56:06.000 His wit really was the stuff of legends, but as you may recall, the only people fully off limits from a court Chester's mockery were the queen and her ladies-in-waiting. 0.99

01:56:14.000 Don't be talking about my bitches. 1.00

01:56:15.000 The king decided to kill him despite the deal they made, but given that Tribule was physically disabled and probably had magical powers... 0.99

01:56:25.000 Francis one decided that it would be fair to at least let him choose his way of dying.

01:56:31.000 He did not want to annoy Tribule too much while killing him. 0.74

01:56:34.000 So the jester chose.

01:56:36.000 He told the king, good sire for Saint...

01:56:39.000 How do you say that?

01:56:55.000 They just kicked him out.

01:56:57.000 I'm sure they were, but no number, and I didn't get anything yet. 0.87

01:57:02.000 That also sounds like a lot of anecdotal horseshit.

01:57:05.000 I believe almost none of that, but I like all of it.

01:57:08.000 I liked it too.

01:57:09.000 I'd like to believe there was a dude that was that funny.

01:57:11.000 Got his way out of getting killed.

01:57:12.000 You gotta know. 1.00

01:57:12.000 Slapped the king's ass, made fun of the wife, and still lived. 1.00

01:57:15.000 That's Stan Matejko. 1.00

01:57:16.000 That's my favorite.

01:57:17.000 Oh, yeah.

01:57:18.000 That's good.

01:57:18.000 So why this is also so powerful to me, truly, is if you can see on the right there behind him, in a more clear version of this, the party is still happening.

01:57:28.000 Oh.

01:57:28.000 Oh, yeah.

01:57:29.000 And it's just kind of like, this is truly how I feel, where you're like, we just did the gig.

01:57:35.000 Deep impressed.

01:57:36.000 Yeah, you just need to just be quiet by yourself.

01:57:39.000 Does he have notes?

01:57:40.000 Yes, that's all his, yeah, that's all of his performance notes.

01:57:42.000 Wow.

01:57:43.000 1862. I never thought of jesters as having notes.

01:57:47.000 Well, I meant, they had to prep for shit. 0.99

01:57:49.000 They must have. 0.99

01:57:50.000 So that's, Stancic, yeah, Jan Matejko. 0.98

01:57:53.000 I don't know how to pronounce it, I'm stupid, but.

01:57:55.000 Can you mention, like, how do you apprentice? 0.99

01:57:59.000 For a jester.

01:58:00.000 Yeah, and do you work at someone's house for a little while before they move you up to a court?

01:58:03.000 I'm sure he's like, hey man, you gotta take my notes for my bits.

01:58:06.000 And he'll probably run bits, you know?

01:58:08.000 Like those old Catskill comics who just tell old jokes.

01:58:11.000 Right, right, right.

01:58:12.000 You know?

01:58:13.000 Yeah, and they have somebody who's like, mark down... 1.00

01:58:16.000 Sometimes when I put my eyes out and I grab my dick, they laugh. 0.98

01:58:19.000 So I put that down as a bit of the thing. 0.99

01:58:21.000 And you know there's a young kid who's like, oh, grab the dick and then cross eye on the right side. 0.97

01:58:25.000 That had to have been what these guys did because they had to pick people in the... 0.98

01:58:28.000 You know these guys are the original crowd work kings.

01:58:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:58:31.000 They were...

01:58:32.000 This was crowd work at its finest.

01:58:34.000 They'd pick people out at the parties.

01:58:35.000 They'd go back.

01:58:36.000 They'd write some notes about, you know, something they could lay in.

01:58:39.000 Because that was interesting.

01:58:41.000 I feel like I've heard that before.

01:58:42.000 They said, you can't say anything about the queen.

01:58:44.000 You can say anything about anybody else. 0.99

01:58:45.000 The queen and any of her crew, you're not allowed to say shit about. 1.00

01:58:49.000 But everyone else is like, oh, fuck them all. 1.00

01:58:52.000 Fuck everybody. 1.00

01:58:53.000 Like, the king would be like, you can, the most powerful man, fuck him. 1.00

01:58:56.000 So, kill the messenger, from what I'm reading, comes from jesters being killed in battlefields because they were, the masters made them carry the messages to the other leaders. 1.00

01:59:07.000 Great. 0.99

01:59:08.000 And sometimes they made them kill.

01:59:09.000 Jesters were often required to go to battlefield with their masters to carry messages from I think?

01:59:32.000 And some used a catapult or a trebuchet to hurl the unfortunate messenger or his severed head back into his own camp as a graphic illustration of what they thought of the message.

01:59:45.000 Dude, can you imagine? 0.99

01:59:46.000 A trebuchet, fucking a huge human catapult, but just you're chilling with your boys and your old boy's head comes... 1.00

01:59:53.000 Yeah, I told them to go tell him to go fuck themselves. 1.00

01:59:57.000 No, I see. 1.00

01:59:57.000 He said, go fuck themselves. 1.00

01:59:58.000 I guess they fucked him. 1.00

01:59:58.000 I said, give me all you women and all your gold and we're good. 1.00

02:00:02.000 Then a fucking head comes flying to the windshield. 1.00

02:00:05.000 Sometimes that cruel and unusual punishment shit that they would do from years ago, some of it was grossly funny. 1.00

02:00:10.000 It's still gross, but that's hilarious to be like, cut his head off, throw it back at those guys. 0.99

02:00:15.000 And they would just load it up in a catapult. 1.00

02:00:17.000 Fucking huck it at your friends. 1.00

02:00:19.000 The psychological aspect of a fucking head flying over the wall of the castle. 1.00

02:00:24.000 It's a deep cut. 1.00

02:00:24.000 You think anybody laughed? 1.00

02:00:25.000 You think of the crew, you think one guy was like...

02:00:27.000 They're probably used to it.

02:00:29.000 Yeah.

02:00:29.000 They're probably used to people getting their heads chopped off.

02:00:31.000 I mean, back then, people fought with swords.

02:00:33.000 People died every day that someone you knew someone was dying.

02:00:37.000 And probably in the streets, people are getting stabbed left and right.

02:00:41.000 Because, like, life and death was probably so cheap.

02:00:44.000 It was a common place where you're like, yeah, he died.

02:00:47.000 Big deal.

02:00:47.000 Yeah, he got cut up.

02:00:48.000 It happens.

02:00:49.000 Yeah, they sliced his arms off.

02:00:51.000 What are you going to do? 0.84

02:00:52.000 The Mongols would light people on fire and then use their bodies to light buildings on fire with catapults. 1.00

02:00:57.000 I thought you were going to say for warmth.

02:00:59.000 Did they ever light people on fire just to warm up?

02:01:00.000 Sure they did.

02:01:01.000 They probably did whatever they wanted to.

02:01:02.000 They're like, man, don't freeze them.

02:01:03.000 Burn Nick. 0.95

02:01:04.000 If you could imagine horrific ways that people died, one of the things they did, the way they would kill royals is they wouldn't kill them like they would kill regular people. 0.91

02:01:16.000 So they would put them sometimes, they would stack them and then put boards over the top of them and then eat dinner on top of them and crush them to death. 1.00

02:01:24.000 Shut up! 1.00

02:01:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:01:26.000 They used you as a table?

02:01:28.000 You were a little side table?

02:01:29.000 You were the thing under the table.

02:01:32.000 That's awful.

02:01:33.000 They built like a whole structure over you.

02:01:37.000 And then everybody would, like, lay the tables out and all the food out, and then all the people would walk onto it, and then they'd just crush you.

02:01:44.000 The visual is funny.

02:01:45.000 I know it's terrible, but it's just funny. 0.99

02:01:46.000 It's fucking dark, man. 1.00

02:01:47.000 It's fucking dark, dude. 1.00

02:01:49.000 That's not that long ago that people did that to people. 0.99

02:01:53.000 No.

02:01:53.000 It's not that long ago.

02:01:54.000 No.

02:01:55.000 But the reasoning has changed so heavily.

02:01:57.000 It's funny.

02:01:58.000 You know how technology, they say it jumps like, you know, it's the fastest moving thing we have.

02:02:03.000 It's technology continually just, like, over-leaping itself.

02:02:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:02:06.000 Think about giving us a little bit of credit as a society, as people, that we're pretty good to a degree at times changing our ways of like, we can't do that shit anymore. 0.99

02:02:16.000 For the most part. 0.97

02:02:16.000 Yeah, we're trying, but I think it's kind of... 0.97

02:02:18.000 It's definitely a lot better.

02:02:19.000 Well, it's only going to get better.

02:02:20.000 This is wild that you think... 0.99

02:02:23.000 Not that long ago that shit would happen, but you're like, it is nice we don't do that anymore. 1.00

02:02:26.000 But now we kill people with drones. 0.99

02:02:29.000 Yeah, from afar.

02:02:29.000 Like if you're in a wedding party in Yemen and you hear...

02:02:32.000 You hear something headed your way.

02:02:36.000 You're like, what?

02:02:38.000 Boom! 0.99

02:02:39.000 It's a gift from someone.

02:02:40.000 Yeah.

02:02:41.000 No, yeah, we're more...

02:02:42.000 The drone thing's wild.

02:02:44.000 We're getting further away from...

02:02:45.000 We don't want to see it.

02:02:46.000 Yeah, we don't want to eat lunch on your compressing body. 0.99

02:02:50.000 No, but we want to pay someone far away to do it to you.

02:02:52.000 But we want to launch a rocket out of our flying robot.

02:02:56.000 Yeah, it's nuts.

02:02:57.000 Yeah.

02:02:58.000 It's terrible, but, you know...

02:03:00.000 We're not pulling on your... 1.00

02:03:01.000 The fucking... 1.00

02:03:02.000 The Chinese torture tactics were wild, though. 1.00

02:03:05.000 You read about those things.

02:03:06.000 Like, they were endless.

02:03:07.000 What did they do?

02:03:08.000 Like, well, I mean, water torture might be, like, the one that most people know.

02:03:11.000 That might be, like, the...

02:03:12.000 I think that's probably, like, the...

02:03:13.000 Easiest one.

02:03:16.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:03:17.000 I mean, they took tactics from... 0.95

02:03:19.000 Like, even stuff like Four Horsemen type of shit, pulling you in all separate directions. 0.95

02:03:23.000 I mean, people would watch you get pulled... 0.98

02:03:25.000 Apart.

02:03:26.000 Apart.

02:03:27.000 And stand there.

02:03:27.000 Yeah.

02:03:28.000 Yeah.

02:03:29.000 Like, no big deal.

02:03:31.000 What's this one?

02:03:32.000 These are torture methods.

02:03:33.000 Forced abidance in a painful position.

02:03:36.000 So your head would be in a cage, and then your foot would be on a stool.

02:03:41.000 I mean, that's nuts.

02:03:42.000 They make you stay outside and freezing cold overnight.

02:03:45.000 Yeah, so inside's fine, outside it's like negative 12. And your head is stuck in the cage, and if you wobble enough, the stool falls, you fall asleep, you die.

02:03:52.000 You choke yourself out.

02:03:53.000 Jesus Christ.

02:03:56.000 That's just that kind.

02:03:57.000 There's hanging, electroshocking, force-feeding, burning, scalding.

02:04:03.000 Yeah, look at that one.

02:04:04.000 Pouring hot water on you all day long.

02:04:07.000 All day.

02:04:08.000 Just burning water, intermittently burning with water.

02:04:10.000 What is that?

02:04:11.000 Go up a little bit, burning hot iron bars?

02:04:13.000 Yeah, I was trying to see.

02:04:14.000 Some victims were tortured with burning hot iron bars.

02:04:18.000 Due to the bad hygienic standards in Chinese prison, this leads to the wounds becoming infected.

02:04:23.000 And they were good at it, dude. 1.00

02:04:24.000 The Chinese were good at fucking with you. 1.00

02:04:27.000 Isolation. 1.00

02:04:27.000 That shit's crazy. 1.00

02:04:28.000 Halfway underwater. 1.00

02:04:31.000 Water dungeon?

02:04:32.000 Yeah, water dungeons.

02:04:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:04:34.000 Shit's nuts. 1.00

02:04:35.000 Dude, it's nuts! 1.00

02:04:36.000 By the way, the bottom one is just tough for people like me.

02:04:39.000 Prohibition of eye contact and speaking. 1.00

02:04:42.000 They're like, just don't let that idiot talk to you. 1.00

02:04:43.000 He'll kill himself at some point. 1.00

02:04:45.000 Stab and cut wounds. 1.00

02:04:47.000 Ugh.

02:04:47.000 Ling Chi.

02:04:48.000 You know Ling Chi.

02:04:49.000 You know what that is, right?

02:04:49.000 No.

02:04:50.000 Death of a Thousand Cuts.

02:04:52.000 They slowly cut you.

02:04:54.000 Minuscule cuts.

02:04:55.000 Thousands and thousands of times.

02:04:57.000 Red pepper is blown into the victim's eyes or nose.

02:05:00.000 Make you not go to the bathroom.

02:05:02.000 Oh.

02:05:03.000 Bring up Ling Chi so I make sure I'm not saying the wrong thing.

02:05:07.000 But I think that's the one.

02:05:08.000 Your skin begins to just fold off itself.

02:05:14.000 Yeah, Ling Chi. 0.74

02:05:15.000 Ling Chi. 0.93

02:05:16.000 Oh.

02:05:17.000 Slow slicing.

02:05:19.000 Yeah.

02:05:21.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:05:23.000 That shit's insane. 1.00

02:05:24.000 Most terrifying punishment in history. 1.00

02:05:26.000 Cut-by-cut torture methadone as Ling Chi may have been used for hundreds of years.

02:05:32.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:05:33.000 Yeah, the Tang Dynasty started that shit, baby. 1.00

02:05:37.000 So they tie you up. 1.00

02:05:38.000 Human beings are capable of some horrific shit, man. 1.00

02:05:42.000 Wretched. 1.00

02:05:43.000 And they got a kick out of this shit. 1.00

02:05:45.000 This is them being like, I know what we want to do with this guy. 1.00

02:05:49.000 Not kill him. 1.00

02:05:50.000 Not just shoot him and get it over with. 0.99

02:05:52.000 I mean, it's just wild to me. 0.94

02:05:53.000 To want to see it.

02:05:55.000 Just sit and watch some guy just slowly skin falls off his bones.

02:05:59.000 This does say that many of the accounts of Lynchy have been mythologized.

02:06:02.000 Oh, really?

02:06:03.000 To fit a sensationalized Western narrative.

02:06:05.000 Savage practicing.

02:06:07.000 All right, so maybe it's...

02:06:08.000 What they're saying, it's...

02:06:09.000 One case provided photographic evidence.

02:06:12.000 Okay, well, isn't one enough?

02:06:13.000 I think so. 0.99

02:06:14.000 How many do you fucking need? 0.99

02:06:16.000 Right there. 1.00

02:06:16.000 That is insane. 1.00

02:06:17.000 That is not good.

02:06:18.000 No, what?

02:06:19.000 Oh, my God, look at the dude's ribs.

02:06:20.000 Yeah, I'm not showing that on the screen. 1.00

02:06:21.000 No, fuck that. 1.00

02:06:22.000 Don't show that. 1.00

02:06:23.000 Don't show that.

02:06:24.000 And that guy's still alive.

02:06:26.000 He was said to meditate daily upon the image below in particular and never stop being obsessed by this image of pain, at the same time ecstatic and intolerable.

02:06:34.000 Oh my god, look how horrible that is.

02:06:37.000 Dude, have you seen, have you seen, this made me think, have you seen that family in like Puerto Rico, they like, exhumed their grandmother and walked her around town?

02:06:45.000 What?

02:06:47.000 It just was on the news.

02:06:48.000 I don't know if it was Puerto Rico.

02:06:50.000 They exhumed their grandmother.

02:06:51.000 And weakened her, sorry? 0.74

02:06:53.000 They did, bro.

02:06:54.000 They puppeted her around town. 0.89

02:06:55.000 And people in the streets, it translated, they said they were heard saying, let the dead rest, put her back, put her back.

02:07:01.000 But apparently, like, they have the legal right to exhume family bodies.

02:07:05.000 Something in the article was saying how, like...

02:07:07.000 How late after she died.

02:07:08.000 I mean...

02:07:09.000 Oh, hold on.

02:07:10.000 What is it?

02:07:11.000 Not true.

02:07:12.000 Not true.

02:07:13.000 That's not true?

02:07:14.000 Well, according to Snopes, this is...

02:07:16.000 I mean, tell me, is this the thing you saw?

02:07:18.000 No.

02:07:19.000 That's not it.

02:07:20.000 Nope.

02:07:21.000 Well, then...

02:07:22.000 No, no, no.

02:07:22.000 I don't know what...

02:07:23.000 It's a Spanish-speaking country, and I'm foolish to not know what it was, but they exhumed their grandmother...

02:07:28.000 Walked her around town?

02:07:30.000 Walked her around town.

02:07:31.000 Yeah, there was a video in the...

02:07:32.000 New York Post put it up of them, like, speaking to her.

02:07:35.000 Do New York Post exhumes grandmother.

02:07:38.000 Is it that?

02:07:39.000 Where?

02:07:40.000 Yes, right there.

02:07:41.000 That's it. 1.00

02:07:41.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:07:42.000 Yeah, this is real. 1.00

02:07:43.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:07:44.000 Drop dead gorgeous. 1.00

02:07:45.000 New York Post hilarious.

02:07:47.000 Grandmother buried for 10 years.

02:07:49.000 Still has a full head of hair and enough bones to stand up with little support.

02:07:54.000 Buried for 10 years.

02:07:56.000 The DR. So they pulled her out, out of being in the ground for 10 years.

02:07:59.000 She was 86 when she died.

02:08:00.000 86 in 2012. Pull that up.

02:08:02.000 Go full screen with that?

02:08:04.000 That's insane.

02:08:05.000 Look at that.

02:08:05.000 They're like making sure her dress is on.

02:08:07.000 People they say in the video are heard saying like, let the dead rest, put her back.

02:08:10.000 This is, you know, what do you do?

02:08:12.000 This is so insane.

02:08:12.000 He's smiling.

02:08:14.000 That is so insane.

02:08:15.000 He's rocking it.

02:08:16.000 So this lady's like putting her dress on. 1.00

02:08:18.000 Yeah.

02:08:18.000 Grandma, you look lovely.

02:08:20.000 Keep her decent.

02:08:20.000 He's wearing a Toronto Blue Jays hat though.

02:08:22.000 Shout out Blue Jays.

02:08:23.000 How crazy is that?

02:08:24.000 How crazy is that?

02:08:25.000 They thought that was a good idea.

02:08:27.000 But if I'm not mistaken, in the article it says that they say this is not illegal to exhume your own blood.

02:08:32.000 Go to the picture of it, Jamie, right below it.

02:08:36.000 Isn't that nuts, dude?

02:08:37.000 Bro, that's like right out of The Walking Dead.

02:08:39.000 Like, if you saw that, you would assume that that's not real.

02:08:43.000 The family was in complete shock.

02:08:45.000 They were shocked that she stayed together so long.

02:08:48.000 Still had skin covering parts of the bones.

02:08:51.000 So they wanted to move her to another cemetery.

02:08:53.000 Oh, God.

02:08:54.000 Dominican Republic, dude.

02:08:56.000 Look at the one down below.

02:08:57.000 Look at that photo.

02:08:59.000 That's what she looked like when they pulled her out before they put the dress on her. 1.00

02:09:02.000 Oh my God, that's so creepy.

02:09:04.000 So creepy, dude.

02:09:05.000 That's her alive.

02:09:06.000 That's how you should remember her.

02:09:09.000 Go back up again to that picture. 1.00

02:09:11.000 What the fuck, dude? 0.99

02:09:14.000 Also, 10 years, still full head of hair. 1.00

02:09:16.000 Shocking, though.

02:09:17.000 I was blown away.

02:09:17.000 I'm like, full head of hair, 10 years?

02:09:18.000 What would you think the hair would just rot out of the head with the skin?

02:09:21.000 For sure.

02:09:21.000 That's what I thought.

02:09:23.000 It looks like she's mummified.

02:09:25.000 Well, maybe they did put her in something.

02:09:29.000 Put her in a movie.

02:09:30.000 Well, then there's the embalming, right?

02:09:32.000 Like, what does that do?

02:09:33.000 That stops you from deteriorating the same way, right?

02:09:37.000 Formaldehyde?

02:09:38.000 Did she get embalmed?

02:09:39.000 Is that why she's like that? 0.98

02:09:40.000 Or is that like a mummification process?

02:09:42.000 That looks more mummified.

02:09:44.000 Because isn't embalming... 0.99

02:09:45.000 Doesn't that like really, that preserves the shit out of you, right? 0.95

02:09:48.000 Well, I know from that HBO autopsy show they would go and dig up and bomb bodies and find out there was like arsenic in them and things that the people had done to poison the people and kill people. 0.97

02:09:57.000 Oh my, like after the fact, yeah?

02:09:58.000 Yeah, they'd like, they'd solve some murders.

02:10:02.000 I knew a guy that was doing a documentary about body brokerage.

02:10:07.000 Where, you know your body parts could be sold...

02:10:09.000 Monster?

02:10:09.000 No, I'm good, baby.

02:10:11.000 Your body parts could be sold... 0.83

02:10:14.000 Post-mortem?

02:10:16.000 Yeah.

02:10:17.000 So you can make a deal while you're alive?

02:10:19.000 I don't know.

02:10:20.000 I don't know the specifics.

02:10:21.000 It was like after they were dead, like they would sell grandma and he said the high percentage of these, the high percentages of what was going on, you know, in this marketplace was for reassignment surgery. 0.97

02:10:31.000 So it was like, you know, it was either like skin for new dicks or skin for vaginal reconstructive surgery and shit. 0.99

02:10:38.000 Really? 0.99

02:10:38.000 Yeah, at the time. 0.99

02:10:39.000 Yeah, when he was doing it.

02:10:40.000 When was this?

02:10:44.000 Seven or eight years ago.

02:10:45.000 The body trade.

02:10:46.000 Yeah, it's a real thing.

02:10:48.000 Well, I have heard about it being a real thing in terms of organ donors.

02:10:52.000 Yeah, body brokers.

02:10:53.000 I think that was the name of his old...

02:10:54.000 Body parts from American donors have been exported to at least 45 countries and thousands of parts sent abroad annually.

02:11:01.000 Demand is high in nations where customs limit selling or dissecting their own debt.

02:11:07.000 In the U.S., though, almost anything goes.

02:11:10.000 Yeah, it was like...

02:11:12.000 Bro.

02:11:12.000 Yeah, so I ran into him in...

02:11:15.000 I'm looking it up because I'm so stupid. 0.96

02:11:20.000 I ran into him in an airport a long time ago. 0.93

02:11:22.000 It was a guy named Julian Knitsberg.

02:11:25.000 I was looking to see if I could find the name of it.

02:11:27.000 Still rocking No Case, huh?

02:11:28.000 No Case.

02:11:28.000 Never No Case, dude.

02:11:29.000 We've talked about this every time I come in.

02:11:30.000 Never No Case. 1.00

02:11:31.000 Fuck cases. 1.00

02:11:32.000 Don't do it. 1.00

02:11:32.000 Get the AppleCare and just break your phone. 1.00

02:11:34.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:11:34.000 Amazing. 1.00

02:11:35.000 You're gonna die one day. 1.00

02:11:35.000 Who gives a shit? 1.00

02:11:36.000 You're still No Case, too? 0.99

02:11:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:37.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:11:38.000 Fuck cases. 1.00

02:11:38.000 Rare No Case people. 1.00

02:11:39.000 What are you gonna do, man?

02:11:41.000 This guy, Julian Knitsberg, though, I ran into him in an airport.

02:11:43.000 He did a documentary that you'd love called Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.

02:11:47.000 I know that documentary very well.

02:11:48.000 That's him.

02:11:48.000 He did that.

02:11:49.000 Julian, I met him years ago through dick house guys. 0.87

02:11:55.000 My name is Bobby Sue. 0.94

02:11:56.000 I always thought of me as a sexy one of the family. 0.97

02:12:00.000 I shot my dad. 1.00

02:12:02.000 The kid shot his dad in the fucking face and he lived. 1.00

02:12:05.000 His dad came to his house and he shot him, fucking lived. 1.00

02:12:08.000 But that guy, Julian, he was doing a body broker thing and he was like, it's fascinating to where you can find out where your grandma's arm is going to be someone's cock one day. 0.99

02:12:17.000 And I was like, is this all real?

02:12:19.000 He's like, you'll see when I'm done with the thing.

02:12:21.000 I don't know if he's still working on it. 0.99

02:12:22.000 Your grandma's arm is going to be someone's cock. 1.00

02:12:24.000 Yeah, kind of wild. 1.00

02:12:26.000 Can they get to the point where they make a cock that feels like a cock to you? 0.99

02:12:31.000 I mean, I felt a lot of cocks in my day. 1.00

02:12:33.000 So if someone was jerking off your arm, even though you feel your arm... 1.00

02:12:36.000 This kind of feels like a dick. 1.00

02:12:38.000 It's a hairy dick. 1.00

02:12:39.000 Right, but it's not that big a deal. 1.00

02:12:40.000 Someone jerks off your arm.

02:12:41.000 It doesn't do anything for you.

02:12:43.000 You can stop.

02:12:44.000 Yeah, cut it out.

02:12:45.000 You know?

02:12:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:12:46.000 Like, imagine if they could...

02:12:49.000 Make a dick that feels the way a dick feels. 1.00

02:12:52.000 Not just looks like... 1.00

02:12:53.000 I've seen the ones where they do trans men and they get like a big chunk of their leg removed so there's an enormous scar on their leg. 0.99

02:13:01.000 For dick? 1.00

02:13:01.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:13:01.000 And then they get a monster hog. 1.00

02:13:03.000 Why can't you take old dead dick skin and make it new dick skin? 1.00

02:13:06.000 Is that not possible? 1.00

02:13:07.000 From a dead person?

02:13:08.000 Yeah, why is that not?

02:13:09.000 Body Brokers?

02:13:11.000 That's a scripted film, though.

02:13:12.000 It is, but it's about a similar thing where, like, a rehab found out that it was really a fraud cover-up for a multi-billion dollar company that takes...

02:13:20.000 Whoa.

02:13:21.000 See, look at this.

02:13:21.000 Go back up to the top.

02:13:22.000 It says, nearly all the film is based on John's real-life experience, and what wasn't was based on other people's shared experiences with patient brokering...

02:13:31.000 That's a little bit different.

02:13:32.000 In Southern California.

02:13:33.000 Without naming who specifically, Swab and Rosen confirmed that almost every part of the film is based on one person's experience. 0.98

02:13:40.000 Fucking wild. 0.98

02:13:41.000 Bro. 0.99

02:13:42.000 That just came out, Jamie?

02:13:43.000 That's a 2021?

02:13:44.000 Yeah, this actually sounds like it's a slightly different thing.

02:13:46.000 Well, when they do that to Chinese political prisoners, you know, like, hey, Mr. Wilson from Connecticut, you need a heart?

02:13:54.000 Yeah, we got you.

02:13:55.000 And you run a hedge fund?

02:13:57.000 Yeah.

02:13:58.000 We might be able to get you to the top of the list.

02:14:00.000 It's going to be all right.

02:14:00.000 What was your blood type again?

02:14:03.000 We got them all, man.

02:14:04.000 Check it out.

02:14:04.000 It's going to cost X, Y, or Z, and then bam.

02:14:07.000 Yeah, I wonder, why can't they just take old dick skin and make it new dick skin? 1.00

02:14:11.000 Because you're right, dick skin is not... 1.00

02:14:13.000 Dick skin is different. 0.99

02:14:14.000 That's a good question. 0.98

02:14:15.000 How do you explain it? 0.99

02:14:16.000 How do you make it feel like a dick? 1.00

02:14:18.000 That's the thing, to you. 1.00

02:14:20.000 Yeah.

02:14:21.000 Yeah, I mean, could that be done?

02:14:22.000 Could they, like, hypersensitize all the skin around that area?

02:14:26.000 Well, like, turn your right...

02:14:27.000 Like, turn this into, like...

02:14:28.000 Stem cells?

02:14:29.000 Stem cells?

02:14:30.000 Yeah, that's gotta be right. 0.99

02:14:30.000 Yeah, just program it to become a dick? 0.99

02:14:32.000 Where can they grow a dick, Jamie? 1.00

02:14:34.000 Can they grow dicks? 1.00

02:14:35.000 Uh, well, alright. 0.99

02:14:36.000 So, I'm finding stuff here.

02:14:38.000 But as you ask me a question...

02:14:40.000 Jamie always gets into these...

02:14:41.000 I found a post that says, like, what can human skin...

02:14:45.000 What products are made from human tissue?

02:14:47.000 Mm-hmm.

02:14:47.000 Right.

02:14:47.000 And it's things you might assume.

02:14:49.000 Dental implants.

02:14:50.000 Mm-hmm.

02:14:50.000 Fornia trims.

02:14:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:52.000 And penis augmentation. 1.00

02:14:54.000 Heart valves. 0.99

02:14:55.000 Breast reconstruction.

02:14:57.000 Uh...

02:14:59.000 I thought I saw a thing.

02:15:00.000 There was a manifest on a ship somewhere that said that there was 6,000 pounds of human tissue.

02:15:07.000 6,000 pounds of...

02:15:09.000 It was valued at $67,000, but they didn't know what was inside there.

02:15:14.000 Wait, what?

02:15:14.000 67,000 pounds?

02:15:16.000 They were smuggling it in?

02:15:17.000 I'm piecing together stories of body brokering very loosely.

02:15:20.000 This isn't it.

02:15:21.000 This is bringing up the movie stuff.

02:15:26.000 I don't even know how I got to it.

02:15:30.000 Maybe it's in here.

02:15:31.000 I've got a few links up.

02:15:34.000 Yeah, this is the body trade.

02:15:36.000 Yeah, I found it in this, I guess.

02:15:38.000 Whoa.

02:15:38.000 10,000 body parts from donors, shipping overseas.

02:15:42.000 Here you go.

02:15:43.000 According to Manifest, shipment bound for Europe included 6,000 pounds of human remains valued at $67,000.

02:15:48.000 They kept it in a 5 degree Fahrenheit container.

02:15:52.000 The body parts came from a Portland business called Medicure Inc., a so-called body broker.

02:15:58.000 Medicure profits by dissecting the bodies of altruistic donors and sending the parts to medical training and research companies.

02:16:06.000 Well, yeah, you're doing a good thing.

02:16:08.000 I guess.

02:16:09.000 What do you want to do, dude?

02:16:11.000 Do you want to be buried?

02:16:11.000 Do you want to be cremated?

02:16:13.000 What do you want when it's over?

02:16:15.000 It's a good question.

02:16:16.000 I think the move is Tibetan Sky Funeral.

02:16:19.000 What's up?

02:16:20.000 Do you know the Tibetan Sky Funeral?

02:16:22.000 No, dude.

02:16:23.000 That's the move.

02:16:24.000 What is that?

02:16:24.000 The move is they take you, they take your body, no embalming, they cut you up, and they bring you to the top of a mountain where they chop you up and feed you to vultures while everybody watches.

02:16:36.000 Why?

02:16:36.000 And the vultures know that that's what you're there for because they feed people to these vultures all the time.

02:16:43.000 And so the vultures just eat the people.

02:16:46.000 Why do you want that?

02:16:47.000 It's a ritualistic tradition.

02:16:48.000 Well, at least my body will be useful.

02:16:50.000 Right.

02:16:51.000 Goes back to nature.

02:16:53.000 I guess.

02:16:53.000 Go to Tibetan Sky Funeral.

02:16:56.000 Chill.

02:16:57.000 So this is a Tibetan Sky Funeral.

02:16:59.000 So look at all these vultures just kind of chilling because they know that people are bringing over bodies.

02:17:05.000 Look, they're fighting over big chunks. 0.99

02:17:07.000 That's like a chunk of a human.

02:17:08.000 So they're cutting chunks of hair and meat and...

02:17:11.000 All these different pieces.

02:17:13.000 And so I don't know how much they're going to show in this.

02:17:16.000 I just want to skip ahead to this 45 second video.

02:17:18.000 Yeah.

02:17:19.000 So this is a human body that they've left there.

02:17:24.000 I don't know how much you can see.

02:17:26.000 I guess we would assume it's human, too.

02:17:27.000 We don't know that.

02:17:28.000 It could be something else.

02:17:31.000 It could.

02:17:32.000 I think it's mostly people.

02:17:34.000 Those are people's bodies laying there.

02:17:36.000 It looks like it, at least.

02:17:38.000 And they take them, they take their clothes off, they chop them up, and then the vultures eat them.

02:17:42.000 And everybody watches.

02:17:44.000 And this is how you want to...

02:17:45.000 This is it.

02:17:46.000 This is Joe Rogan.

02:17:47.000 How would you want to do it? 0.86

02:17:48.000 Burn me up, dude. 0.99

02:17:49.000 Burn me. 0.98

02:17:50.000 Well, because I don't want to take up any more space.

02:17:52.000 I already took up enough space while I'm here.

02:17:54.000 Look at you.

02:17:55.000 Well, I mean it in the sense of like...

02:17:57.000 Climate change, too many people. 1.00

02:17:58.000 No, fuck that. 1.00

02:17:59.000 Not because of that. 1.00

02:17:59.000 World population. 1.00

02:18:00.000 Well, just because it's like, what do you need?

02:18:01.000 You don't need me around anymore. 0.98

02:18:02.000 I'm not going to take up any more fucking... 0.99

02:18:03.000 My grandfather used to say, land is for the living. 1.00

02:18:05.000 He was like, fucking cemeteries are bullshit. 1.00

02:18:08.000 They're weird. 1.00

02:18:09.000 He's like, land's for the living.

02:18:10.000 You don't need that.

02:18:11.000 You're gone.

02:18:12.000 You did it. 1.00

02:18:13.000 Fuck off. 1.00

02:18:14.000 Do you think there's probably got to be a lot of people that are eyeing that big-ass cemetery in LA and going, you know how much this is worth? 1.00

02:18:20.000 Brother, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery?

02:18:23.000 No, no, no.

02:18:24.000 Well, that's one.

02:18:24.000 That's where they do movies and stuff.

02:18:26.000 Yeah, what's the one I'm thinking of?

02:18:27.000 The one near the 405. I know, it's huge.

02:18:30.000 It's huge, and it's prime real estate.

02:18:32.000 It's beautiful.

02:18:34.000 Is it a veteran cemetery?

02:18:35.000 Part of it, there is a veteran part.

02:18:39.000 Forrest Lawn.

02:18:40.000 That's it, yeah.

02:18:42.000 Part of it is, and then the other part of it is people. 0.99

02:18:44.000 Just fucking Mike and Jane. 0.99

02:18:46.000 That land. 1.00

02:18:47.000 What's that?

02:18:48.000 It's privately owned.

02:18:49.000 Yeah, it is.

02:18:50.000 That land's gotta be worth billions.

02:18:51.000 Well, there's multiple.

02:18:52.000 You know where Michael Jackson's, like he's above Glendale, right?

02:18:55.000 Like there's, Forest Lawn has multiple locations, or there are multiple parts to the cemetery, but there's like a ton of famous people buried by the Glendale Temple, I think.

02:19:07.000 You know who was buried?

02:19:08.000 This is funny.

02:19:09.000 I don't even, this popped into my brain.

02:19:10.000 My...

02:19:11.000 My dad's old house was in a neighborhood in Chicago, and across the street, literally from his house, was an old cemetery.

02:19:19.000 And a bunch of old famous gangsters were apparently buried there.

02:19:24.000 Right across from his house was Jack Ruby.

02:19:26.000 Do you know who that guy is?

02:19:28.000 He's the guy that shot Lee Harvey Oswald?

02:19:29.000 Yeah, of course.

02:19:30.000 He was buried across the street from my dad, and I was reading up about him because I was like, I want to know more about...

02:19:35.000 I think his name was Jack Rubenstein or something like that.

02:19:40.000 But all about his motives, and then there was all these conspiracy theories about even people didn't even think he might not be the one that killed Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:19:48.000 Oh, he definitely killed Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:19:49.000 Well, right, but then they say that he shot him, right?

02:19:52.000 But then there was, people said that that's not what killed Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:19:56.000 Well, that's definitely what killed him.

02:19:58.000 But he didn't die on the spot, right?

02:20:00.000 No, he didn't die on the spot.

02:20:00.000 Right.

02:20:01.000 But, I mean, he shot him in the guts. 0.94

02:20:02.000 But it was a.22. 0.76

02:20:04.000 No.

02:20:05.000 Right?

02:20:05.000 I don't think so.

02:20:06.000 Look up how Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:20:07.000 It looked like a.38.

02:20:09.000 Yeah, what did he use?

02:20:10.000 I don't believe he used a.22.

02:20:11.000 Oh, well that is bigger than I thought.

02:20:13.000 That looks like a.38 to me.

02:20:15.000 It's pretty small.

02:20:16.000 It's not really, though.

02:20:17.000 Was the arm in the way or did he shoot him by then?

02:20:19.000 I think he...

02:20:20.000 I think he had shot him by then.

02:20:22.000 Yeah, I mean, I think it's like right in there.

02:20:24.000 Yeah, you're probably just curling it from the shot.

02:20:25.000 Just Google what kind of gun Jack Ruby used to kill Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:20:29.000 But yeah, that headstone's right across the street from my dad's old house.

02:20:32.000 I mean, he's not, obviously, he moved away from there, but...

02:20:34.000 Do you know Jack Ruby was connected to MKUltra?

02:20:37.000 What?

02:20:38.000 Yeah.

02:20:39.000 How?

02:20:39.000 Jolly West, the head guy from the CIA from MKUltra, went to visit Lee Harvey Oswald after he shot...

02:20:50.000 Went to visit, rather, Jack Ruby after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:20:54.000 And after Jolly West left, Jack Ruby was insane. 0.61

02:20:58.000 He went insane.

02:20:58.000 He was hiding underneath his bunk.

02:21:01.000 He was saying that they're burning the Jews alive and millions are dying.

02:21:05.000 He gave him acid.

02:21:07.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:07.000 He dosed him up.

02:21:08.000 Tripped him out.

02:21:09.000 While he was inside after he had shot Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:21:13.000 And shortly after that, he died of cancer.

02:21:14.000 Yeah, cancer like riddled his body.

02:21:16.000 I was reading about him and like lit it.

02:21:17.000 And it came like out of nowhere. 0.99

02:21:21.000 Gave him a little shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:21:23.000 Gave him a little shut the fuck up shot. 1.00

02:21:24.000 Gave him a little shut the fuck up shot. 1.00

02:21:26.000 Because they were like, oh no man, he got cancer overnight. 0.99

02:21:28.000 Like what?

02:21:29.000 It was all over his body.

02:21:30.000 Yeah.

02:21:30.000 But before he was okay, totally.

02:21:32.000 They probably just force fed him radiation.

02:21:34.000 Something.

02:21:35.000 They gave him radiation with his acid.

02:21:37.000 Yeah.

02:21:38.000 But that MKUltra thing, there's a book on it called Chaos by Tom O'Neill.

02:21:42.000 It's an amazing book.

02:21:43.000 He was Greg Fitzsimmons' next-door neighbor for like 20 years.

02:21:46.000 What?

02:21:47.000 And he'd been working on this one book.

02:21:48.000 Started off as a magazine article, and as he started researching the magazine article, it just got deeper and deeper. 0.97

02:21:54.000 He found out more inconsistencies and more things that were fucked up.

02:21:57.000 And then he eventually realized that Charles Manson had been visited by Jolly West in prison.

02:22:03.000 And that they had experimented with Charles Manson with crowd control and mind control and cult control methods and they provided him with LSD most likely and most certainly got him out of jail every time he got arrested afterwards. 0.75

02:22:16.000 People who had arrested Charles Manson for all sorts of shit while he was on parole that should have put him in jail for the rest of his life. 0.88

02:22:21.000 They were like, well, he's above our pay grade. 0.99

02:22:24.000 We're being told to let him go. 0.96

02:22:26.000 So they would just let him go and then he would go out and run these hippies and have them murder people. 0.98

02:22:30.000 And this is at the time where they were trying to infiltrate The hippie movement, the same way the FBI tries to infiltrate these fucking wacky militias and get them to go kidnap the governor of Michigan. 0.98

02:22:39.000 Back then, they would dose people up with acid and get the hippies to go murder people. 0.96

02:22:44.000 They're like, this is a great way to crack down on the anti-war movement. 0.84

02:22:47.000 Great way to crack down on the hippies. 0.98

02:22:49.000 Get everybody terrified of this young movement of these...

02:22:53.000 These flower children.

02:22:54.000 They're not so peaceful after all. 1.00

02:22:56.000 Matter of fact, they're fucking murderers. 1.00

02:22:57.000 So they literally got a murderer in prison, got a crazy psychopath in prison, and Charles Manson taught him how to run a cult, taught him how to control people with LSD, and then supplied him with LSD and sent him out in the world. 1.00

02:23:13.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:23:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:23:15.000 That's trippy as fuck. 0.99

02:23:16.000 It's an amazing book, man. 1.00

02:23:17.000 The book's great because it's very detailed, as you can imagine, because Tom worked on it for 20 fucking years.

02:23:23.000 And how many has he written outside of that? 0.91

02:23:24.000 I don't think any.

02:23:25.000 That was the one.

02:23:26.000 I think that's his big book.

02:23:27.000 That's the one.

02:23:28.000 He's working on a second book because he had so much data just from that one case that I think he's working on a second book right now.

02:23:34.000 What's it called?

02:23:35.000 Chaos.

02:23:36.000 Chaos.

02:23:36.000 Yeah.

02:23:37.000 It's wild.

02:23:39.000 It's really interesting stuff, man.

02:23:42.000 38. 38. 38, yeah.

02:23:45.000 The most famous gun in the world.

02:23:47.000 An original bullet shot from the most famous gun in the world.

02:23:51.000 Jack Ruby.

02:23:52.000 Colt Cobra.

02:23:53.000 38 Special.

02:23:55.000 Yeah, see, I know my guy.

02:23:56.000 But look at it, it says 435 out of 5,000.

02:23:58.000 So they shot bullets out of it, I think, to sell.

02:24:00.000 They shot 5,000 bullets out of it to sell. 0.98

02:24:03.000 How many dummies are like, I want that bullet. 1.00

02:24:06.000 Shot that son of a bitch Lee Harvey Oswald who definitely acted alone. 1.00

02:24:10.000 Yeah, he was by himself. 1.00

02:24:11.000 Give me that bullet. 1.00

02:24:12.000 Shoot something. 1.00

02:24:13.000 That is so funny, they had a meeting about it. 1.00

02:24:14.000 They're like, should we just shoot bullets out of that fucking thing and sell them? 1.00

02:24:16.000 Someone's like, yeah, some dummy will buy that shit. 1.00

02:24:18.000 Why do they only do 5,000? 1.00

02:24:19.000 They should do it every year.

02:24:20.000 Keep doing it.

02:24:21.000 Keep doing it.

02:24:21.000 Do it until the product runs out.

02:24:22.000 Yeah, what are you, crazy? 0.98

02:24:23.000 The gun still works. 0.99

02:24:25.000 Now you know how the card game works.

02:24:26.000 That's right.

02:24:27.000 That's what happened in the cards with the Ken Griffey Jr. card.

02:24:30.000 What happened?

02:24:30.000 That was like the most famous baseball card you could buy for a while.

02:24:33.000 Yeah.

02:24:33.000 And it turns out like Upper Deck got caught printing sheets and sheets and sheets of them and selling them to the collectors.

02:24:39.000 They're not numbered?

02:24:40.000 They weren't numbered?

02:24:41.000 No, they weren't.

02:24:42.000 There's a documentary about this, actually, that's like a scam, and it ruined the card industry for quite a while.

02:24:48.000 And now only one company is allowed to sell baseball cards.

02:24:50.000 Who is it?

02:24:52.000 Topps?

02:24:53.000 Upper Deck?

02:24:53.000 I think Topps got the contract, yeah.

02:24:56.000 Yeah, the same way I feel about golf, I feel about baseball cards.

02:24:59.000 Like, what are you wasting your time doing?

02:25:03.000 Now that I understand.

02:25:05.000 At least golf is a career.

02:25:07.000 There's a sport.

02:25:07.000 Yeah, there's something to it.

02:25:08.000 Yeah, it's a legit sport.

02:25:09.000 Like some people, you know, they make a lot of... 0.99

02:25:11.000 What do you think about the fucking, the live golf thing? 0.99

02:25:14.000 Love it. 1.00

02:25:15.000 Absolutely love it.

02:25:16.000 Why not?

02:25:17.000 Tell me more.

02:25:18.000 Here's the reason.

02:25:20.000 And I told you, before this, I know a guy that went over there.

02:25:24.000 And here's the thing.

02:25:28.000 Some people love the preservation in the history of the PGA. I get it.

02:25:32.000 Tradition. 0.98

02:25:33.000 A lot of things about the PGA are bullshit, and particularly the idea that the PGA had a stronghold on them. 1.00

02:25:41.000 It has remnants of contracts from studios in the 50s for actors, where you're like, we own your fucking ass. 0.99

02:25:48.000 Your likeness, your rights, your images. 0.99

02:25:49.000 When the golfers golf, They can't use that footage.

02:25:53.000 They have to license it from the PGA. So if I'm out playing and I want to be like, hey man, I want to put up a post on Instagram about this dope-ass putt I hit or whatever, this great...

02:26:01.000 You have to buy it. 1.00

02:26:03.000 You have to buy your shit back from them. 1.00

02:26:06.000 Bullshit. 1.00

02:26:06.000 Why? 1.00

02:26:07.000 If I'm Zion Williamson in the NBA and I fucking yoke on someone, I put my dick in their fucking face and dunk on them, the NBA can't wait to give you the footage. 1.00

02:26:16.000 They're like, dude, post that shit. 1.00

02:26:17.000 Because it's going to help their brand. 1.00

02:26:19.000 PGA is old white guy bullshit, and it's I get it that it's antiquated So some of the younger guys were like fuck this. 1.00

02:26:26.000 I want more freedom and fun. 1.00

02:26:28.000 I want something different Some of them their careers are on the Other side?

02:26:33.000 So they might not be making so much more to win money, right?

02:26:37.000 So this is a great alternative.

02:26:38.000 The problem people had was like, Dustin Johnson or, you know, guys that are at the top, and they're like, why are you pulling your game over there?

02:26:49.000 Do you think you can't win anymore in this?

02:26:51.000 Which is part of the controversy.

02:26:53.000 It's like, oh, do you...

02:26:54.000 But what's the big controversy?

02:26:56.000 The big controversy is one of the Saudis.

02:26:58.000 Yeah, but Saudi money is invested in... 1.00

02:27:01.000 Tons of shit. 1.00

02:27:02.000 Look up Saudi money LPGA. Look that up. 1.00

02:27:11.000 The investment of the Saudis isn't like a new thing in American sports.

02:27:15.000 People are just mad because, the PGA particularly is mad, because they're looking something in the face that's threatening them.

02:27:24.000 It's not going to be bigger than the PGA, but it's an alternative that's fun.

02:27:27.000 People like it.

02:27:28.000 It's not going to be bigger, not going to take it over. 0.99

02:27:30.000 But what people are concerned with is that people are leaving and they're going to work for someone who's been accused of some horrific shit. 0.99

02:27:38.000 Sure. 0.97

02:27:38.000 But who made your jeans? 0.97

02:27:41.000 These are American jeans.

02:27:42.000 But you know what I mean?

02:27:43.000 These are made by origin.

02:27:45.000 But most people go, oh dude, I don't like that. 0.99

02:27:47.000 It's like, your fucking shirt was made by a Chinese kid. 1.00

02:27:50.000 Well, your phone. 1.00

02:27:51.000 If you're complaining about stuff, you're literally complaining about it on a device that was made by slaves. 0.89

02:27:55.000 Well, that's my point.

02:27:56.000 So I think when you start to get into the nitpicky stuff, I'm always like...

02:28:00.000 I understand the idea of being like people are anti them playing for Saudi money, but if you think you're not involved in Saudi money at a high sports level, I'm sorry, but it's there.

02:28:11.000 Well, the WWE fans are freaking out now, right?

02:28:14.000 Why?

02:28:15.000 Jamie?

02:28:16.000 What's that about?

02:28:17.000 It's last night that the Saudi Investment Fund bought the WWE, I believe.

02:28:20.000 Okay.

02:28:21.000 Well, what are you going to do?

02:28:22.000 What happens now?

02:28:23.000 I don't know.

02:28:26.000 What happens now?

02:28:27.000 Well, there's no divas. 1.00

02:28:28.000 There's not going to be any women. 1.00

02:28:29.000 Look at that.

02:28:30.000 Vince McMahon.

02:28:31.000 WWE talent done if company is sold to Saudi Arabia.

02:28:35.000 Thank you, brother!

02:28:37.000 It says it's not sold to Saudi Arabia according to them.

02:28:39.000 This is what was happening on Twitter last night.

02:28:41.000 The WWE Twitter world freaked out.

02:28:43.000 It was like trending all night.

02:28:44.000 Well, go to Snopes.

02:28:46.000 What does Snopes have to say?

02:28:47.000 Oh, they had an answer?

02:28:48.000 Oh, they did?

02:28:50.000 Is WWE being so research in progress?

02:28:53.000 Still going.

02:28:54.000 So yes.

02:28:54.000 So the answer is yes, and they just can't leak it.

02:28:57.000 Well, the money comes around if it's a substantial increase in money.

02:29:02.000 I think here's the deal. 0.99

02:29:03.000 I understand tradition, but if these guys want an alternative league to play in, fucking let them go play. 1.00

02:29:11.000 Who gives a shit? 0.99

02:29:12.000 I don't know. 0.99

02:29:13.000 Why do you need a monopoly of one league?

02:29:15.000 I mean, you look at the history...

02:29:17.000 That's not what the problem is.

02:29:18.000 What people have a problem with is Jamal Khashoggi.

02:29:21.000 Jamal Khashoggi, who was a journalist for the Washington Post, who was dismembered at the Turkish embassy, supposedly at the instructions of the Saudi royals.

02:29:32.000 Yeah.

02:29:32.000 He was critical of them.

02:29:34.000 Yeah, but I mean...

02:29:36.000 I don't know, man.

02:29:37.000 And I don't know who literally is funding.

02:29:40.000 They could be just Saudi businessmen that are funding Liv.

02:29:42.000 I don't know this particulars, but I don't know.

02:29:45.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:29:46.000 Whatever.

02:29:47.000 If they want to go play in that league and they're comfortable with it, let them go play, I guess. 1.00

02:29:50.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:29:51.000 What an American perspective. 1.00

02:29:52.000 Well, let them go play. 1.00

02:29:53.000 It's fucking capitalism, baby. 1.00

02:29:55.000 You want to get that fucking check, dude? 1.00

02:29:56.000 That's the Trump perspective. 1.00

02:29:57.000 Get that fucking check, dude. 1.00

02:29:58.000 Trump told them. 1.00

02:29:59.000 It's an amazing, amazing organization.

02:30:01.000 They're doing great things.

02:30:02.000 Doing great things.

02:30:03.000 Go get that money.

02:30:04.000 I think, honestly, here's what's really going to happen.

02:30:08.000 They're gonna go get that money, and then they're gonna leave.

02:30:10.000 Then it's gonna be over, and it's gonna dissipate into nothing.

02:30:12.000 Or not.

02:30:12.000 If they have that kind of cheddar, they have enough cheddar, they could literally keep this going forever if they wanted to.

02:30:18.000 And they wouldn't put a dent in them.

02:30:19.000 No, no, it's not that.

02:30:20.000 You're right.

02:30:21.000 It's more that what guys are gonna be willing to either stay there or continue to go over there.

02:30:25.000 So the problem is the talent, right?

02:30:27.000 It's like anything else.

02:30:28.000 But they're having the events here.

02:30:30.000 Correct.

02:30:31.000 I went to one.

02:30:31.000 So you don't have to stay, you don't have to go over there.

02:30:34.000 I think they only play one over there.

02:30:36.000 All of them are here.

02:30:37.000 I went to one in Chicago, Rich Harvest Farms.

02:30:44.000 It's really interesting to see the internal uproar, which I immediately attribute to...

02:30:50.000 Golf is an old tradition sport, so people are really particular.

02:30:54.000 So they don't even like that someone's entering the conversation.

02:30:56.000 The other perspective, obviously, is the one that is the bigger deal is people think it's an immoral move, an unethical move.

02:31:03.000 If it was instead some enormous hedge fund got together and they put all their money together and decided to fund their own alternative golf They'd be just as mad.

02:31:13.000 I think they'd be just as upset.

02:31:15.000 The PGA does not want competition.

02:31:17.000 They don't like that guys are even thinking about going.

02:31:19.000 And then I think, personally, they're shoehorning in the Saudi stuff to go, and that's bad. 0.71

02:31:25.000 See?

02:31:26.000 They're more mad about business interests. 0.99

02:31:27.000 They don't fucking care about the Saudi stuff. 0.98

02:31:29.000 How much of an effect is it having on the top players? 0.99

02:31:32.000 I mean, my buddy's doing a documentary that's coming out on Netflix, I think coming up soon in the first quarter of the year, about the PGA. And during it, during the middle of filming, half of the guys left and went to live, and he films both perspectives.

02:31:48.000 And it's supposed to be really good.

02:31:50.000 It's just, it's not changed much.

02:31:53.000 What's the highest level player?

02:31:57.000 The highest paycheck?

02:31:58.000 The highest level, like a guy who's a championship caliber.

02:32:02.000 Phil Mickelson is one of the greatest of all time, arguably, in a span of many, many golfers.

02:32:06.000 I'm not saying he's number one.

02:32:08.000 I'm just saying he is one of the best of all time, and I think he's the biggest money, right?

02:32:14.000 Wasn't he the biggest?

02:32:15.000 Him or...

02:32:16.000 DJ? Yeah, him or DJ got the most, but...

02:32:18.000 And what kind of money are we talking about?

02:32:20.000 150 mil, supposedly, to just come over to play before they want any extra money.

02:32:25.000 Before they got paid out.

02:32:26.000 Whoa.

02:32:27.000 Yeah.

02:32:27.000 But it's also part of a contract.

02:32:29.000 No one knows the details of these contracts.

02:32:30.000 Well, they're private, right?

02:32:31.000 They don't have to disclose.

02:32:32.000 Didn't they lose all their sponsors once they went over there, though?

02:32:35.000 A lot of them lost some of their sponsors, but I don't know if you need them anymore after 150 mil clears.

02:32:41.000 Right.

02:32:41.000 Yeah, I think...

02:32:43.000 Like, what kind of sponsors are we talking about?

02:32:45.000 CDW, you know, like business investment firms. 0.99

02:32:48.000 Golf is sponsored heavily by like, you know, TD Ameritrade and shit. 0.99

02:32:54.000 Oh, right. 1.00

02:32:55.000 It's a lot of that shit. 1.00

02:32:55.000 Which makes sense because all those guys are the guys who like golf. 1.00

02:32:58.000 Yeah, that's who likes golf.

02:32:59.000 Yeah, businessmen.

02:33:00.000 Old businessmen.

02:33:01.000 They love to do business meetings on the golf course.

02:33:03.000 Good to see you, Phil.

02:33:04.000 I bet if you're like a businessman, you probably have to play golf.

02:33:08.000 In some circles?

02:33:10.000 It's an advantage.

02:33:10.000 I don't know if in the new era, our age is...

02:33:15.000 What's going on now in the youth of business, I don't fucking know what 22-year-olds have to do to get through in the corporate world, but I imagine it's still a part of it to a degree.

02:33:25.000 It's an inner circle that you're going to get leverage from some way or not. 0.74

02:33:28.000 It's like going to a good school.

02:33:30.000 It's like, dude, I went to Arizona State.

02:33:31.000 Did I have any connections? 0.99

02:33:32.000 I made zero fucking... 0.99

02:33:34.000 Friends! 0.99

02:33:35.000 I made a lot of fucking friends, but none of them could help me business-wise. 0.99

02:33:39.000 It's not like going to Yale. 0.99

02:33:40.000 No, yeah.

02:33:40.000 You go to an accredited university, someone's daddy is a somebody.

02:33:44.000 And so that's a big advantage in going to a good school.

02:33:47.000 And you meet that guy, and you might wind up working for his firm. 0.99

02:33:49.000 He might give you a fucking job. 1.00

02:33:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:33:51.000 You want a job?

02:33:52.000 Does your kid want a job? 1.00

02:33:53.000 It's like that shit. 1.00

02:33:54.000 Billy's a good kid. 1.00

02:33:54.000 Really good kid. 1.00

02:33:55.000 And he's top of his class.

02:33:56.000 I give him a couple hundred grand a year out of school. 1.00

02:33:58.000 We'll let him fuck off for two years, and then we'll figure it out. 1.00

02:34:00.000 Show him how to do coke. 1.00

02:34:02.000 We'll give them a bump. 0.81

02:34:03.000 But so I think...

02:34:05.000 Like, at the end of the day, whatever people...

02:34:08.000 Whatever those guys want to do, I just want to watch golf. 0.99

02:34:11.000 So I don't give a shit. 0.98

02:34:13.000 I'm definitely... 0.98

02:34:13.000 The PGA is still going to be the number one because it has, you know, the Masters. 0.98

02:34:17.000 It has tournaments where you're...

02:34:18.000 It's just...

02:34:19.000 Now, is this the general attitude of most people?

02:34:22.000 Most people are just letting it go, they don't care, or are people outraged? 1.00

02:34:25.000 Most guys my age, I think Jamie might be in a similar boat where you're like, I don't fucking give a shit, but my dad's generation is like, fucking ridiculous, you don't support the fucking Saudis, and you go over there and you're abandoning the ship that you sailed in on. 0.99

02:34:40.000 You know, the PGA built you and it formed you. 0.99

02:34:43.000 It would be like if the UFC had a competitive thing come forward with way more money, which I don't know if that's happened. 0.84

02:34:51.000 I'm ignorant.

02:34:52.000 You could tell me if it has. 0.88

02:34:54.000 It hasn't.

02:34:54.000 But that's kind of the same thing.

02:34:56.000 There's some guys who get really good deals that they wouldn't get in the UFC. So what happens is if there's talent that's available that's top flight talent, Bellator has options.

02:35:07.000 That's an option.

02:35:08.000 A lot of guys will go to Bellator because Bellator will pay them more.

02:35:12.000 But it's like when you get to the World Championship, like the Conor McGregor, Khabib Nurmagomedov level, I think they make more money in the UFC. Right.

02:35:20.000 I think because they have pay-per-view.

02:35:23.000 You don't see pay-per-view with Bellator.

02:35:25.000 I think they've done a couple pay-per-views.

02:35:27.000 I don't think they've been that successful.

02:35:29.000 Whereas UFC does a pay-per-view every month.

02:35:32.000 Every month is an enormous pay-per-view.

02:35:34.000 There's world championship fights where you get the best of the best, and everybody knows who they are.

02:35:39.000 It's like Q-tips, NFL, NBA. That's MMA at the highest level.

02:35:46.000 You can get cotton swabs at CVS that aren't made by Q-tips.

02:35:49.000 You're asking for Q-tips.

02:35:51.000 Where's the Q-tips?

02:35:52.000 Where's Kleenex?

02:35:52.000 Yeah, where's the Kleenex?

02:35:55.000 That's not even the best example, right?

02:35:57.000 Because the Q-tips at CVS that aren't Q-tips, the cotton swabs, are probably just as good. 0.78

02:36:02.000 It's not that fucking hard to have a little stick and cotton on the end of it. 0.89

02:36:05.000 But it's the name. 0.94

02:36:06.000 To get elite, world-class fighters to compete in the biggest organization to hold that UFC belt, You know, I have Bruce Buffer say, and no! 0.99

02:36:16.000 You know, and they put that fucking strap on you. 0.99

02:36:19.000 Whoa. 1.00

02:36:19.000 That's the cream of the crop when it comes to combat sports. 1.00

02:36:23.000 Well, that's what it is in the PGA. It's like they hold tradition.

02:36:26.000 They've got it by the balls. 0.95

02:36:27.000 So no one will... 0.99

02:36:29.000 There's no...

02:36:30.000 It's not accredited.

02:36:32.000 You know, live is for fun.

02:36:33.000 It's for money and fun.

02:36:34.000 And I think they're trying to appeal to like a new young market. 1.00

02:36:37.000 I think they need to do that shit with the crowd. 0.99

02:36:40.000 Well, Liv has live music. 1.00

02:36:43.000 Who has that?

02:36:44.000 That one with the crowd?

02:36:45.000 That's a different thing?

02:36:46.000 That's the PGA. That's the PGA. Yeah, this is like the one time they kind of let this chaos go.

02:36:51.000 It's because it's in Phoenix.

02:36:53.000 Waste Management runs it.

02:36:55.000 Listen, it's a great move.

02:36:57.000 Well, you should show him a picture of what the 16th hole looks like without those stands.

02:37:02.000 What they build is mind-blowing.

02:37:05.000 The course outside of that looks nothing like that.

02:37:08.000 They build this huge structure that's around it.

02:37:10.000 So that structure they put in temporarily?

02:37:12.000 Yeah, that's gone.

02:37:12.000 Most of the time it's not there.

02:37:13.000 What?

02:37:14.000 That's what it looks like.

02:37:15.000 That enormous structure they built temporarily?

02:37:17.000 Yes.

02:37:19.000 And they keep it or they take it down?

02:37:20.000 Just for the tournament.

02:37:21.000 They take it down?

02:37:22.000 The moment the tournament's closed, that course goes back to what it looked like.

02:37:25.000 Look at the 16th without it.

02:37:26.000 Oh my god, that's insane.

02:37:28.000 Or 17, is it?

02:37:29.000 How many people are in there?

02:37:31.000 I mean, dude, that's got to be, I don't know, 5,000.

02:37:35.000 Oh, more.

02:37:36.000 It looks like more.

02:37:37.000 If that was a show that we were doing together, we'd be like, bro.

02:37:41.000 Just without grandstand, right?

02:37:43.000 Without grandstand.

02:37:43.000 That looks like 30, 40,000 to me, man.

02:37:46.000 Look at that's what it looks like, Joe, without it.

02:37:50.000 It's nothing.

02:37:51.000 There's a time lapse.

02:37:52.000 How many people were there?

02:37:55.000 Google the audience size.

02:38:00.000 You're allowed to walk in and out of that area.

02:38:01.000 It's not like you need a seat.

02:38:02.000 Yeah, you don't stay.

02:38:03.000 You can go anywhere on the course the whole day.

02:38:05.000 Right, but how many people get seated by that structure they put in place?

02:38:08.000 How many seats are available?

02:38:12.000 Take a guess.

02:38:13.000 I'm saying $40,000.

02:38:14.000 I would say $20,000.

02:38:15.000 Yeah, it's like $15,000.

02:38:16.000 $15,000 or $20,000.

02:38:17.000 It seems more than that, man.

02:38:19.000 It does.

02:38:19.000 It's so big.

02:38:20.000 There's a lot of boxes, too.

02:38:22.000 They sell those boxes.

02:38:23.000 They sell those boxes because people now know how fun it is.

02:38:26.000 Right, but what's the actual number?

02:38:29.000 I don't know that we'll know it.

02:38:30.000 It changes year to year because they add more people.

02:38:32.000 Yeah, but they have.

02:38:33.000 Okay, let's go the 2021 waste management open crowd size.

02:38:40.000 Yeah, that's it.

02:38:42.000 There's got to be a way to find it, right?

02:38:43.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:38:44.000 I mean, they'll give you an estimate of something.

02:38:47.000 They'll give you usually how many people show up because they brag about it.

02:38:50.000 20,000.

02:38:51.000 20,000.

02:38:52.000 But that's the whole event.

02:38:53.000 That's not sitting in there.

02:38:54.000 Yeah, but I would argue half of them are there.

02:38:57.000 That's probably 10 grand maybe.

02:38:59.000 But what a great idea to get it exciting.

02:39:01.000 Because that was so much more exciting than a normal golf situation.

02:39:04.000 Well, you should hear when they interview pro golfers.

02:39:06.000 This is only 5,000.

02:39:07.000 5,000 fans per day.

02:39:08.000 But that was 2021. This is when the pandemic was happening.

02:39:11.000 Oh, right, right, right.

02:39:11.000 The grandstands are non-existent.

02:39:14.000 Pro golfers say that that's the most nervous they are because people talk shit, they're yelling. 1.00

02:39:21.000 Most times they get this, as a guy that holds up a thing to shut the fuck up. 0.99

02:39:25.000 There, there's no rules. 0.97

02:39:27.000 I love that.

02:39:29.000 And you know what's so funny?

02:39:29.000 When somebody does get a hole-in-one like that, they all throw beer.

02:39:33.000 He's got pictures of it where they'll throw beer on there, but they don't get kicked out or anything.

02:39:37.000 It's like the one time you're allowed to throw beer.

02:39:40.000 Okay, so it doesn't look as big as I thought now.

02:39:41.000 There's not that many.

02:39:42.000 Now that I'm seeing it now.

02:39:43.000 Is that last year?

02:39:48.000 I don't know the exact year.

02:39:49.000 Boy, there's a lot of pressure.

02:39:50.000 No, that's 2017. Fuck up and whack someone in the head with a ball, too. 1.00

02:39:53.000 Look at the new one. 1.00

02:39:54.000 The new one's fucking huge. 0.98

02:39:55.000 The one from last year was massive. 0.94

02:39:57.000 But if you go down, they're building the one here now.

02:39:59.000 It's not for 90 days.

02:40:00.000 They're already starting to build a grandstand.

02:40:02.000 Top right, Jamie.

02:40:03.000 That's from last year.

02:40:04.000 That's way bigger than it was.

02:40:05.000 They're building one here what?

02:40:07.000 They have a tournament here in Austin, and I just drove by it the other day.

02:40:10.000 They're already starting to build the stands on like it's 12, 13, 14. It's a similar area like this.

02:40:16.000 It's definitely not quite as loud or anything like that, but they're building it now.

02:40:20.000 It's in the end of March, I think, is when they're here.

02:40:24.000 It's fun.

02:40:24.000 I like that idea, man.

02:40:26.000 That's a great idea.

02:40:27.000 You want to go to this?

02:40:27.000 You and I can go.

02:40:28.000 When is it?

02:40:29.000 It's in like three weeks.

02:40:30.000 Let's go. 0.99

02:40:31.000 You want to go to Phoenix and go have fucking fun? 0.99

02:40:33.000 I might want to go to that. 0.99

02:40:34.000 When I was at ASU, we used to go to this.

02:40:37.000 And if you're a student, you get cheap tickets. 0.99

02:40:39.000 And we would go there and party our fucking face. 0.99

02:40:42.000 I mean, it's basically like, you know, nobody's there to watch golf. 0.99

02:40:47.000 Everyone's there to have a good time.

02:40:48.000 It's like the Kentucky Derby.

02:40:49.000 Yeah.

02:40:50.000 Do they gamble? 1.00

02:40:51.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00

02:40:52.000 So people gamble on the matches? 0.99

02:40:54.000 So on that particular hole, what's really fun is people will gamble on like closest to the pin, you know, but you're doing it with buddies, like they'll go, the next foursome that's up.

02:41:01.000 Right, there's Phil.

02:41:03.000 This is before he went over to live?

02:41:07.000 Yeah, this is a long time ago. 0.99

02:41:13.000 That is fucking crazy! 0.97

02:41:16.000 And this only happens at the Waste Management Open? 1.00

02:41:23.000 Wow!

02:41:24.000 I don't understand why they don't do it more.

02:41:25.000 It doesn't make any sense to me as a new person who's gotten into this.

02:41:28.000 Like, why every single event doesn't have one hole like this?

02:41:32.000 I don't know.

02:41:32.000 That's the move, right?

02:41:34.000 Yeah, I don't know.

02:41:34.000 I'll go back to what I said, dude.

02:41:36.000 It's like old white guy bullshit. 1.00

02:41:38.000 Okay, so, and live. 1.00

02:41:39.000 Not like this is a selling point.

02:41:40.000 They get to wear shorts.

02:41:41.000 Are you working for Liv?

02:41:42.000 Yeah, I work for Liv.

02:41:44.000 It says they wear shorts?

02:41:45.000 Everyone's gotta wear pants no matter how hot it is.

02:41:47.000 They have to wear pants. 0.96

02:41:48.000 It's the middle of fucking summer sometimes and they have to wear pants. 0.98

02:41:50.000 Liv lets them wear shorts, which, that's my point. 0.98

02:41:54.000 Right. 0.99

02:41:54.000 Why does the PGA give a fuck? 0.99

02:41:56.000 Why do they give a fuck? 1.00

02:41:57.000 Because it's tradition. 1.00

02:41:59.000 That's why you get that stupid jacket when you win. 1.00

02:42:02.000 That is a very cool jacket. 1.00

02:42:03.000 It's green. 1.00

02:42:04.000 I will take that fucking jacket. 1.00

02:42:05.000 How much would you want one of those fucking jackets? 1.00

02:42:07.000 Would you buy that normally? 1.00

02:42:08.000 Would you normally buy a green jacket?

02:42:10.000 You can't buy that.

02:42:10.000 No, but I mean, why would you want a green jacket?

02:42:13.000 Because nobody buys green jackets.

02:42:18.000 That's it.

02:42:19.000 As I wear a green t-shirt. 1.00

02:42:20.000 Yeah, yeah, fuck it. 1.00

02:42:21.000 No, but it's... 1.00

02:42:22.000 At the end of the day, those guys, in my opinion, will be...

02:42:26.000 What do you think?

02:42:26.000 Don't you think they'll come back from live?

02:42:27.000 I think it'll be a short-lived, fun fucking money-grab, and then it'll be done. 0.98

02:42:30.000 It would be really cool. 0.98

02:42:31.000 I mean, every league that we've watched now was...

02:42:34.000 Probably now a conglomeration of what they were.

02:42:36.000 The NFL was AFC, NFC. Yeah, of course.

02:42:38.000 Two different conferences that came together to do something we were just talking about.

02:42:41.000 Oh, there's a pickleball league starting.

02:42:43.000 That was two different leagues that are joining up to make a new pickleball league.

02:42:47.000 That's completely different than this, but yes, it seems like it will be a benefit in the long run.

02:42:52.000 I don't know how it can hurt.

02:42:53.000 I wonder if someone's thinking about doing that with MMA. Like a bigger company that has tons more money, capital.

02:42:59.000 You'd have to have so much more money.

02:43:01.000 Well, Saudis. 0.96

02:43:03.000 Because the UFC, they purchased the UFC for $4 billion.

02:43:07.000 And I think it's worth $10 now.

02:43:09.000 I think it's valued at $10 now.

02:43:11.000 And, you know, they picked it up.

02:43:12.000 And right when they picked it up, the pandemic hit.

02:43:14.000 And Dana White kept the fights rolling. 1.00

02:43:16.000 So the fights were rolling on while there was nothing else going on in the world of sports.

02:43:20.000 And they were playing them at the Apex.

02:43:23.000 The UFC had their own arena.

02:43:25.000 They put together a COVID bubble.

02:43:26.000 Everybody got tested.

02:43:28.000 You got tested before you got on your flight.

02:43:29.000 You got tested when you got there.

02:43:30.000 You got tested the day of the event. 0.99

02:43:32.000 They tested the shit out of everybody. 0.99

02:43:34.000 And no audience. 0.78

02:43:35.000 And they had world championship fights with no audience.

02:43:38.000 And an octagon that's 40% smaller than the regular octagon.

02:43:41.000 Why?

02:43:42.000 Because it's smaller for the building.

02:43:44.000 They decided to make a smaller, they always had a smaller octagon.

02:43:47.000 Like when we used to do fights at the Palms, we used to do like fight nights or when they used to do like the finals of The Ultimate Fighter, they would have them at the Palms and they'd have them in a small cage.

02:44:00.000 And then they decided they kind of liked the small cage.

02:44:02.000 Because the Palms was a small place where we would do it at.

02:44:05.000 When we did fight, see if you find fights at the Palms.

02:44:07.000 I saw it.

02:44:08.000 Kickboxing at the Palms.

02:44:09.000 I saw Glory there. 1.00

02:44:10.000 I saw a bunch of shit at the Palms. 1.00

02:44:12.000 The Palms was a great spot. 1.00

02:44:14.000 And they used to have comedy.

02:44:17.000 Like, Cat Williams performed there.

02:44:18.000 They had comedy there, too.

02:44:19.000 It was this amazing little arena.

02:44:21.000 At the Palms.

02:44:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:44:23.000 It was real intimate there.

02:44:24.000 You go to see fights.

02:44:25.000 I mean, I want to say there's just a few thousand people there.

02:44:28.000 That's a cool-looking room.

02:44:29.000 Yeah.

02:44:30.000 So that's the pearl at the palms.

02:44:32.000 And the way that's set up, that's different than the way the UFC was set up.

02:44:35.000 The way the UFC was set up was like that, in the center.

02:44:39.000 And that's tinier than normal.

02:44:41.000 Yes.

02:44:42.000 That's a small octagon.

02:44:44.000 That's a 40% smaller octagon in the apex.

02:44:47.000 I think it's the same size as the one they use at the palm.

02:44:50.000 I'm not exactly sure.

02:44:52.000 But a lot of fighters do not like it.

02:44:54.000 Guys who move around a lot, like Sugar Sean O'Malley, does not want to be at the apex.

02:45:00.000 He wants to move around.

02:45:01.000 I love you, Joe Rogan.

02:45:02.000 I've seen that collab of him just going, I love you, Joe Rogan.

02:45:07.000 I love him.

02:45:07.000 I love you too, buddy.

02:45:08.000 It makes me laugh.

02:45:09.000 He's amazing. 0.98

02:45:09.000 Yeah, no, he's fucking awesome to watch. 0.98

02:45:10.000 Yeah, I interviewed him when he had a broken foot when he was on his back. 0.80

02:45:14.000 Yeah.

02:45:14.000 He broke his foot.

02:45:15.000 What's that foot?

02:45:16.000 There's a really bad foot break.

02:45:18.000 Liz Frank.

02:45:19.000 He was out for two years.

02:45:21.000 He snapped the bone in the middle of his foot.

02:45:24.000 It's called Liz Frank? 0.94

02:45:25.000 It's called the Liz Frank injury.

02:45:27.000 Yeah, it's not like a name.

02:45:27.000 It's all L-I-S-F-R-A-N-C. Oh, Liz Frank.

02:45:32.000 On the screen, Joe, this is the arena that they're showing that this new indoor golf thing is going to happen next year.

02:45:37.000 Whoa.

02:45:38.000 It's going to be at night, an arena-type thing where everyone's yelling. 1.00

02:45:41.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99

02:45:42.000 Back here, you're hitting to the sim like me and Andrew were doing back in the other room. 0.99

02:45:45.000 So is this the PGA as well?

02:45:47.000 I don't think it's the PGA. All I've heard is it's Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy have put this together.

02:45:52.000 Well, the PGA's sim, the logo's on it.

02:45:55.000 It's not called PGA, it's called TGL. It's also been unannounced fully.

02:45:59.000 They've just hinted at what's going to happen here or how it's going to work.

02:46:03.000 We don't really know.

02:46:03.000 It's like eight players are going to show up.

02:46:05.000 What are those numbers?

02:46:06.000 466 yards.

02:46:08.000 What does that mean?

02:46:08.000 That's how long the hole was.

02:46:10.000 That's how far he hit, yeah.

02:46:10.000 That's how far he could drive it.

02:46:11.000 How far he has left probably.

02:46:13.000 Oh, right.

02:46:13.000 Yeah, it says number one.

02:46:15.000 He's at 466 yards for the hole.

02:46:17.000 So they'll be in the back and they'll hit their first one or two shots into that giant screen and then come and finish on the green.

02:46:22.000 On the green.

02:46:23.000 That's amazing.

02:46:23.000 And it'll probably change a little bit.

02:46:24.000 Now is Tiger back with his leg injury?

02:46:28.000 This allows him to compete.

02:46:29.000 Yeah, but he's not gonna...

02:46:31.000 We've seen the best we're ever going to see from him, and I think... 0.98

02:46:35.000 How fucked up is his leg? 0.99

02:46:37.000 I mean, it's bad. 1.00

02:46:38.000 You can tell when he swings, it looks different.

02:46:39.000 I mean, his son is the one to look for.

02:46:41.000 Yeah, I've seen his son.

02:46:42.000 His son looks incredible.

02:46:43.000 Let me see what it looks like when he swings now.

02:46:47.000 Show, like, Tiger Woods Drive.

02:46:49.000 Yeah, there's got to be...

02:46:49.000 I bet you there's a video of him before and after.

02:46:51.000 I mean, he just had to change everything because his... 0.99

02:46:54.000 And you can tell when he walks, he's in fucking pain. 0.98

02:46:56.000 Like, you can just tell he's just in pain. 0.99

02:46:59.000 And that poor guy, he's had, like, addictions to pain pills in the past. 1.00

02:47:02.000 Yeah, fuck yeah. 0.99

02:47:03.000 So is this him here? 1.00

02:47:04.000 Yeah.

02:47:05.000 This was the most recent thing he's done.

02:47:07.000 Yeah, the thing they did.

02:47:08.000 This was the match. 0.90

02:47:10.000 That looks pretty fucking good. 0.86

02:47:11.000 Yeah, he's good. 0.98

02:47:12.000 No, he's still got it, without a doubt. 0.98

02:47:14.000 That looks pretty fucking good. 0.96

02:47:15.000 He's still Tiger Woods. 0.99

02:47:16.000 That still looks fucking amazing. 0.99

02:47:17.000 He can't walk. 0.98

02:47:18.000 He just can't walk is what I mean.

02:47:20.000 Really?

02:47:20.000 So he can do that because he can just deal with the pain?

02:47:23.000 He does, yeah.

02:47:24.000 And then when he walks...

02:47:26.000 What is it like when he walks?

02:47:27.000 Well, part of that traditional thing he's saying...

02:47:29.000 He gets to ride in a cart for this, and part of the thing that he's about to tell you is a big beef with the PGA is you have to have a medical exemption under wild circumstances like this to be able to have a cart during a real event.

02:47:42.000 Right.

02:47:42.000 Otherwise you'd have to walk miles.

02:47:44.000 You must walk, yeah.

02:47:44.000 Right.

02:47:45.000 That's kind of crazy, too, that you have to walk.

02:47:48.000 But is it fair that he has a medical exemption?

02:47:50.000 Do they let all these other guys do it as well because he does it?

02:47:53.000 Well, this is not a real tournament.

02:47:55.000 This is like a for fun.

02:47:56.000 Capital One sponsors this.

02:47:57.000 It goes to charity.

02:47:58.000 You know what I mean?

02:47:59.000 Right.

02:47:59.000 They got their Under Armour logos.

02:48:01.000 But in play, like in a tournament play of a real PGA match, they can't have carts.

02:48:05.000 No.

02:48:06.000 Okay.

02:48:07.000 So even him?

02:48:08.000 He could.

02:48:09.000 All the players are saying, Tiger, please come play with us.

02:48:12.000 Ask for this exemption.

02:48:13.000 They will probably give it to you.

02:48:14.000 And he's like, nope.

02:48:15.000 Who is he talking to on the phone?

02:48:17.000 They have Charles Barkley and the people on the...

02:48:19.000 Yeah, he's talking to us.

02:48:20.000 I hate to say it, but I'm going to admit it. 1.00

02:48:22.000 He's probably talking shit to him. 0.99

02:48:26.000 They have mics on so you can hear the golfers talking to their caddies and stuff and the PGA doesn't really allow that either. 1.00

02:48:42.000 That's pretty cool.

02:48:44.000 It's a good insight that you don't get.

02:48:48.000 Like, he looks good golfing, and he's been pretty competitive when he's gotten to compete.

02:48:51.000 What does it look like when he walks?

02:48:53.000 He's walking...

02:48:54.000 Yeah.

02:48:54.000 Well, show him with his match with his son that they just did.

02:48:57.000 Do they show him walking around?

02:48:59.000 Yeah.

02:49:00.000 And they keep commenting that he's in pain, and you can tell, dude. 1.00

02:49:02.000 I mean, he's a tough motherfucker. 1.00

02:49:04.000 This dude is tough as shit. 1.00

02:49:05.000 He's just going through... 1.00

02:49:06.000 You can tell he's just walking through the pain.

02:49:08.000 But you can tell when he'll hobble, he'll kind of, like, make a face.

02:49:10.000 And that's a couple of years ago, this injury, right?

02:49:13.000 Two years ago, right?

02:49:14.000 When the car crash was?

02:49:15.000 Yeah, here's him walking at the British Open last year.

02:49:18.000 This is a long walk.

02:49:19.000 I mean, we don't see him limping.

02:49:20.000 Oh, sorry. 1.00

02:49:21.000 Shit. 0.99

02:49:22.000 You can see him limping here. 1.00

02:49:24.000 This is after a full round.

02:49:26.000 Yeah, you see how his right leg kind of bows in?

02:49:29.000 I mean, look, see right there?

02:49:31.000 I mean, he just, you can tell that he's kind of bowing, he's putting all this weight on one hip.

02:49:39.000 Not bad.

02:49:41.000 We're really pulling hairs here, but I just trust him.

02:49:44.000 He's like, I can't do it.

02:49:45.000 Well, see, that's what I'm saying.

02:49:47.000 We say not bad.

02:49:48.000 You know the truth.

02:49:49.000 You know pro athletes.

02:49:50.000 They're just tough. 1.00

02:49:52.000 He's like, fuck it. 1.00

02:49:52.000 I'm just going to do it. 1.00

02:49:53.000 I don't care.

02:49:54.000 This is also like a historical thing.

02:49:56.000 It's the 150th British Open.

02:49:57.000 He made a big effort just to get to be able to do this.

02:50:00.000 So he probably worked for months.

02:50:01.000 People can tolerate pain, man, at incredible levels.

02:50:06.000 You know, when I had David Goggins on, David Goggins explained the operation that he had to get done on his knee because he has no cartilage in his knees.

02:50:16.000 It's bone on bone.

02:50:17.000 He runs like a thousand miles.

02:50:19.000 His doctor said, I can't believe you can walk in this knee.

02:50:23.000 Never mind run thousands of miles.

02:50:26.000 And it's just pure will.

02:50:29.000 Just pure will.

02:50:31.000 And the overcoming of pain. 0.98

02:50:33.000 And because there's just bone on bone, the bone was all distorted and fucking overgrowth and shit to try to deal with all this inflammation. 0.96

02:50:42.000 So then they had to cut his bone. 0.97

02:50:45.000 And slide it down to make an even, flat joint.

02:50:48.000 That's nuts, dude.

02:50:49.000 And still, even then, he's just bone on bone.

02:50:51.000 He's still running.

02:50:52.000 Still running. 0.99

02:50:53.000 Dude's nuts.

02:50:54.000 That's great. 1.00

02:50:54.000 I mean, that's fucking... 1.00

02:50:55.000 Still running. 0.99

02:50:55.000 Running the Bigfoot 240. What is that? 0.99

02:50:58.000 238 miles.

02:50:59.000 No thanks.

02:51:00.000 Yeah.

02:51:00.000 No thanks.

02:51:00.000 He ran...

02:51:01.000 The Moab.

02:51:01.000 That's what he ran.

02:51:02.000 The Moab 240. Yeah.

02:51:04.000 I think the Bigfoot's 200. Do you run?

02:51:06.000 No.

02:51:07.000 Yeah.

02:51:08.000 No.

02:51:08.000 I hurt my knee...

02:51:10.000 A couple of times and I've been over the last like, say seven or eight months, I don't even kick the bag anymore.

02:51:18.000 I've been dealing with it.

02:51:18.000 I had an MCL tear and I rehabbed it and I got stem cells shot into it.

02:51:26.000 But my dumb ass kept going back to working out, like throwing kicks. 0.99

02:51:31.000 And every time I would go to Muay Thai and every time I'd hit the pads, I'd never hit them light. 1.00

02:51:36.000 I'd start hitting them light and then I'd want to work! 0.99

02:51:39.000 I want to feel that fucking whack! 0.99

02:51:42.000 It's just too much fun. 0.99

02:51:43.000 Yeah, it is.

02:51:44.000 It's too much fun to be able to do that.

02:51:46.000 To be able to really kick hard is so fun.

02:51:49.000 It's so fun.

02:51:50.000 Well, it looks fun.

02:51:51.000 It's fun.

02:51:52.000 But see, I would look like...

02:51:53.000 You look like swinging a golf club. 1.00

02:51:55.000 I look like kicking a fucking bag. 1.00

02:51:58.000 But you could learn it. 1.00

02:51:59.000 Yeah, with time.

02:52:00.000 But it's a thing that when you get it to a level where I can do it, it's so unusual to be able to generate that kind of power. 0.92

02:52:09.000 So when I step up to a heavy bag, it's just my automatic instinct is just to fucking dig my toes in. 0.92

02:52:16.000 I just want to fucking torque my body and swing my hips in and Tighten up my abs. 0.96

02:52:24.000 It's exciting. 0.97

02:52:25.000 No more though.

02:52:25.000 I can still do it.

02:52:26.000 I just have to wait a little while.

02:52:28.000 It's much, much, much better.

02:52:29.000 My knee doesn't give me any pain anymore.

02:52:32.000 This hunting season in the mountains, no pain at all.

02:52:35.000 I've been doing this knees over toes rehabilitation.

02:52:38.000 You ever heard of that guy?

02:52:39.000 Knees over toes guys on Instagram?

02:52:41.000 No.

02:52:42.000 He's an expert in—well, he's a fitness trainer, and he had a bunch of injuries himself from playing basketball, and to the point where they were saying, like, look, you're too fragile, your knees keep fucking up, you're never going to be able to play.

02:52:55.000 And so he figured out ways to strengthen and rehabilitate his knees.

02:53:00.000 And he developed this knees over toes program.

02:53:03.000 It's a scalable program.

02:53:04.000 You start off with just like walking backwards and pulling a light sled backwards and doing certain things till you get to the point where you can have strength in a full range of motion with your knees doing things like that.

02:53:18.000 Oh, dude, I have seen this guy.

02:53:20.000 I've seen him. 0.99

02:53:21.000 Yeah, that's fucking insane. 0.97

02:53:22.000 And if you can get to that, and he, it's not like a trick. 0.98

02:53:26.000 He has a, like, look, walking backward on a treadmill, doing tibia raises, and it's all to strengthen the muscles around the knee and the stabilizing muscles of the knee, which most people are very weak in.

02:53:38.000 You know, people have, like, strong quads, but they don't have the exercises in their repertoire that...

02:53:44.000 Develops all the muscles around the knee and this guy's developed this whole program.

02:53:48.000 It's really amazing.

02:53:50.000 So I do all his stuff.

02:53:51.000 I do a lot of stuff on a slant board.

02:53:54.000 I do squats like air squats and then weighted squats on a slant board and I have this thing that I use for my legs from a place called, I think it's called Animal House Fitness and it's called a monkey foot and it clamps onto a barbell.

02:54:09.000 You strap it onto your shoe.

02:54:10.000 And it clamps onto a dumbbell, so you can pick up dumbbells with your foot.

02:54:16.000 So you can do knee raises and leg curls and leg extensions and really strengthen all the muscles around your knee and around your hip flexors.

02:54:26.000 Because lifting with your legs this way, like a reverse squat, is another excellent way to develop speed and power.

02:54:35.000 So this is his company, Animal House Fitness.

02:54:38.000 They sent me these. 0.99

02:54:39.000 These are fucking amazing. 0.98

02:54:41.000 I bring these on the road with me. 0.99

02:54:43.000 I bring one of those things.

02:54:44.000 Because if I go to a small gym, I can still get a really good leg workout.

02:54:48.000 And that's one thing that I do that really works well with those hip muscles and stabilizing muscles.

02:54:55.000 But there's another thing you do where you take a cable pulling machine.

02:54:59.000 And you attach the straps to your insteps and then you pull with your feet forward towards your chest.

02:55:09.000 So like a reverse squat.

02:55:11.000 So instead of like lifting weights by pushing up off the ground, you're pulling it towards you.

02:55:17.000 Phenomenal for your abs.

02:55:18.000 It's like one of the best ab workouts.

02:55:20.000 Think about knee raises, but think about knee raises times 10. So, you know, I'm doing this with 100 pounds for 10 reps, and it really builds the strength in your ab muscles and your hip flexors, and you tie it into your shoes like this.

02:55:35.000 So you pull that thing down, you cinch it up, and then you back up, and then you're just using the muscles.

02:55:41.000 See, but it looks like he's doing it at just the regular ones at the gym.

02:55:44.000 Mm-hmm.

02:55:44.000 Yeah, that's what I use.

02:55:45.000 I use a regular pulley machine at the gym with those straps.

02:55:48.000 So I do it with the monkey feet, but I also do it with that.

02:55:53.000 So you're developing muscles, and it's phenomenal for kicking, too, because the hip flexors and all these muscles at the top of the thighs, they don't get worked out with weights very often.

02:56:04.000 So you really develop those by hitting a bag, which is the best way to develop technique, but you can develop additional power by doing that.

02:56:13.000 You ever want to kick anybody anymore?

02:56:14.000 Sure.

02:56:15.000 Of course. 0.99

02:56:15.000 Why don't you kick somebody? 0.99

02:56:17.000 If I could kick like you, I'd love to kick them. 1.00

02:56:19.000 Yeah, but then they kick you back. 0.99

02:56:21.000 I don't think you're worried about anybody kicking you back.

02:56:23.000 I'm worried about people kicking you back.

02:56:24.000 Who?

02:56:24.000 People like me.

02:56:25.000 Yeah, but there's not a lot of yous, dude.

02:56:26.000 But if I was going to fight someone, I'd fight someone like me. 0.59

02:56:28.000 And then they would kick me the way I'd want to kick them? 0.94

02:56:30.000 No thanks. 0.90

02:56:32.000 No thanks, dude.

02:56:34.000 No thanks.

02:56:34.000 That's the rule of life.

02:56:35.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:56:37.000 He's gonna kick me like I kick him. 1.00

02:56:38.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:56:39.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:56:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:56:40.000 And there's also guys break their legs kicking people. 1.00

02:56:43.000 You know, someone checks it and you catch your shin the wrong way and it snaps in half.

02:56:47.000 Let's say there's a guy that's your size.

02:56:49.000 Your size guy.

02:56:52.000 All circumstances are gone as far as who you are in the world of fame and getting in trouble.

02:56:58.000 I don't want to hurt anybody.

02:56:59.000 I know.

02:57:00.000 But let's just say a guy wants to fight you, and you can.

02:57:04.000 Because of the bubble that we're in in my mental mind, there's no trouble that's going to happen. 0.92

02:57:07.000 Are you going to punch this guy first or kick him first? 0.98

02:57:10.000 What's your first shot? 0.99

02:57:11.000 It would completely depend upon the circumstances.

02:57:14.000 Completely depend upon how much room you have to move around in.

02:57:17.000 How much danger you're in, whether or not you can just grab him.

02:57:19.000 He walks in here.

02:57:21.000 I'd rather grab somebody.

02:57:22.000 If I grab someone, I can contain them.

02:57:25.000 And get them to the ground?

02:57:26.000 Yeah.

02:57:28.000 100%.

02:57:28.000 Let's just say it's just punch or kick.

02:57:30.000 What are you doing first?

02:57:32.000 It depends on the circumstances.

02:57:34.000 It depends on how far the person is from you.

02:57:36.000 Jamie's laughing.

02:57:36.000 It depends on everything.

02:57:37.000 I know.

02:57:37.000 I knew you were going to give...

02:57:38.000 Just give me a fucking... 1.00

02:57:39.000 Depends on everything. 1.00

02:57:40.000 Give me an ape answer. 0.99

02:57:41.000 Give me a monkey brain answer. 0.99

02:57:43.000 Well, if you have to get something done very quickly, a punch to the face is a very quick thing. 0.99

02:57:51.000 Okay, so you're going to punch first. 0.91

02:57:52.000 The movement from standing, talking to someone, to punching them in the face is a fraction of a second. 0.93

02:57:57.000 BAM! If you have a good, clean, straight punch and you know how to throw it fast, if you know that you have to hit somebody and you want to hit them before they hit you, that's a good way to go.

02:58:08.000 Okay.

02:58:09.000 I just wanted to know what your instinct was.

02:58:11.000 If you had to do it.

02:58:12.000 It's a punch always.

02:58:13.000 If you're fast.

02:58:15.000 Yeah.

02:58:16.000 It's a speed thing. 0.98

02:58:18.000 I just want to see you kick somebody. 1.00

02:58:20.000 I don't want to see me kick somebody. 0.99

02:58:21.000 I do.

02:58:22.000 I did it for a long time.

02:58:24.000 There's a weird, bittersweet thing about knocking someone unconscious.

02:58:27.000 It doesn't feel that good.

02:58:29.000 You think it feels great.

02:58:30.000 It feels very weird.

02:58:32.000 And it feels like that could have easily been you.

02:58:35.000 And I watched a lot of my friends get knocked out, too.

02:58:38.000 I saw a lot of friends get knocked out where they kind of weren't the same again.

02:58:42.000 They really never recovered. 0.96

02:58:44.000 I saw some people get really badly knocked out, and they were always a little fucking weird afterwards. 0.81

02:58:48.000 They were always like something was wrong with them. 0.67

02:58:50.000 It does.

02:58:51.000 Yeah, it does.

02:58:51.000 It does.

02:58:52.000 Uh-oh.

02:58:52.000 What is this one?

02:58:53.000 This is me and Jamie.

02:58:54.000 This guy on the left tells this guy, he's like, you want to lose your kneecap?

02:58:57.000 Oh, no.

02:58:58.000 It's not a good idea to say that, I think.

02:59:00.000 Did he kick him in the knees?

02:59:01.000 Uh, no. 0.78

02:59:02.000 Dude gets knocked out after threatening to break man's kneecap.

02:59:07.000 Well, that was that, I guess.

02:59:08.000 That's the end of that.

02:59:10.000 So what did he say? 1.00

02:59:11.000 I'm going to break your fucking kneecap? 1.00

02:59:12.000 You want to lose your fucking kneecap? 1.00

02:59:13.000 Oh, that guy knows how to fight. 1.00

02:59:15.000 Yeah, it was pretty good.

02:59:16.000 Because he opens with a left hook.

02:59:18.000 Watch us.

02:59:19.000 He goes, what?

02:59:19.000 So fast.

02:59:20.000 The way he left hooks him, that's a guy that knows how to fight.

02:59:23.000 100% he's done that to people before.

02:59:26.000 And probably in competition.

02:59:30.000 He opens with a left hook.

02:59:31.000 Who opens with a left hook?

02:59:33.000 But I gotta be honest with you.

02:59:34.000 Not like I'm criticizing.

02:59:36.000 It's almost like he's like, are you talking to me?

02:59:38.000 Yeah, he leans into him a little bit. 1.00

02:59:40.000 He's like, I'm gonna fucking hit you. 0.99

02:59:42.000 He didn't have to do that. 0.99

02:59:42.000 No, he did not have to do it. 0.99

02:59:44.000 But he works at NASA. I just saw on his shirt there.

02:59:46.000 He's a NASA guy.

02:59:47.000 He's an astronaut.

02:59:48.000 No more rockets for him.

02:59:50.000 Yeah.

02:59:50.000 That's it for you, Pat.

02:59:51.000 Well, the problem with that is people die.

02:59:52.000 They fall and they hit their head and they die.

02:59:54.000 You don't want that.

02:59:55.000 He's fighting on a parking lot.

02:59:57.000 You don't want that.

02:59:57.000 You fall, you bang your head off a curb.

02:59:59.000 That's it.

03:00:00.000 You don't want that.

03:00:01.000 I know.

03:00:01.000 I get that.

03:00:01.000 I remember.

03:00:02.000 I got kicked in the face in college in a fight.

03:00:04.000 Did you?

03:00:05.000 Ugh. 0.76

03:00:05.000 Guy kicked you in the face? 0.76

03:00:06.000 Well, the side of... 0.84

03:00:07.000 I should say the side of my face.

03:00:08.000 Were you on the ground?

03:00:08.000 Yeah.

03:00:09.000 Ugh.

03:00:09.000 That's scary.

03:00:10.000 Me and a couple of buddies, we got the shit... 1.00

03:00:17.000 Dude! 1.00

03:00:17.000 They remember. 1.00

03:00:18.000 They know.

03:00:19.000 My buddies know.

03:00:20.000 Colin, Travis, they remember.

03:00:23.000 Bunch of drunk bros.

03:00:24.000 Apartment complex.

03:00:26.000 Scottsdale.

03:00:27.000 Well, by school.

03:00:28.000 It was by ASU. A car.

03:00:31.000 A guy was driving drunk and backed out of a spot.

03:00:33.000 Almost hit a girl.

03:00:34.000 My buddy was trying to be a hero.

03:00:36.000 Protect the girl.

03:00:37.000 And all these guys came out.

03:00:39.000 And at first I was like, we don't have to fight these guys.

03:00:42.000 Do we have to fight these guys?

03:00:43.000 And then they started fighting and I was like...

03:00:46.000 I don't want to fight these guys.

03:00:47.000 There were so many more of these guys.

03:00:48.000 I was like, this is not fun. 0.99

03:00:49.000 We're going to get fucked up. 1.00

03:00:51.000 And of course your friends are like, don't be a bitch! 1.00

03:00:54.000 And you're like, I want to be a bitch. 1.00

03:00:55.000 I want to go home. 1.00

03:00:56.000 And I got kicked in the fucking... 1.00

03:00:57.000 It wasn't fair. 0.99

03:00:58.000 It was like seven.

03:00:59.000 We were three of us or four of us maybe at the most.

03:01:01.000 Oh boy.

03:01:02.000 Yeah, it hurt.

03:01:03.000 Being on the ground hurts.

03:01:04.000 It's so dangerous.

03:01:04.000 Yeah, I hated it.

03:01:05.000 It was fucking, it sucked. 1.00

03:01:06.000 I watched a World Star Hip Hop once where this guy got knocked out and then everybody ran by and kicked him in the head while he was unconscious. 1.00

03:01:13.000 Yeah, that I don't like.

03:01:13.000 That stuff's...

03:01:14.000 It was so scary.

03:01:15.000 Yucky.

03:01:15.000 Because it was like, as this guy kept getting kicked in the head, I was like, that's closer to death.

03:01:20.000 That's closer to death.

03:01:21.000 Oh, yeah.

03:01:21.000 Easily could have died.

03:01:22.000 Might be dead.

03:01:23.000 I don't even know if a guy lived.

03:01:25.000 Yeah, that's the only thing about when you would let me come see UFC, you know, because admittedly, I don't know enough about it.

03:01:31.000 I'm not filled in.

03:01:32.000 I love watching it, and I love that you bring me.

03:01:34.000 But I was always like, man, when I saw somebody get worked, I was like, oh my god, I'm watching part of his life leave him.

03:01:40.000 It's like I'm watching a couple of years go by.

03:01:43.000 Well, if you're watching a guy like Khabib Nurmagomedov just smash some guy, get on top of him and smash him, you're watching with each subsequent elbow, with each punch, you're closer to death.

03:01:55.000 You're not going to answer this.

03:01:57.000 How much longer do you think you'll announce UFC? That's a good question.

03:02:00.000 I don't know.

03:02:01.000 I thought about it.

03:02:03.000 Because I'll always be a fan.

03:02:04.000 I always watch it.

03:02:05.000 And I do enjoy commenting.

03:02:06.000 But it is kind of weird that I still do it.

03:02:09.000 It's a weird gig.

03:02:10.000 Do you love it still?

03:02:11.000 I love it.

03:02:12.000 Love it. 0.98

03:02:13.000 When the fights are going on and I got my fucking suit on there and I'm sitting there and I'm all excited. 0.98

03:02:17.000 I'm filled up with monster energy drinks. 0.99

03:02:19.000 I'm fired up, man.

03:02:20.000 I will say, as your friend, it's so funny, like, being friends with you and watching what people don't know or don't get to feel is when we go to, like, the thing together and, like, you getting excited and getting ready.

03:02:30.000 Your energy is much different than when you and I are going to do a show.

03:02:34.000 Oh, yeah.

03:02:34.000 It's totally different.

03:02:35.000 Well, it's just, like, it's cool to see.

03:02:38.000 Because your process is totally different.

03:02:40.000 But it's just, you're a different you than when you and I are traveling and doing a show.

03:02:44.000 Same kind of intensity that you're bringing to stand-up, just it's a different vector of the brain.

03:02:50.000 It's certainly different than I never try to be funny.

03:02:52.000 I'm not trying to be funny at all.

03:02:54.000 But remember when Dennis Miller did Monday Night Football?

03:02:56.000 Yeah, I did.

03:03:00.000 He tried to do a bunch of one-liners. 1.00

03:03:02.000 People are like, get that fucking guy out of here. 1.00

03:03:04.000 Yeah, dude, it's bad. 1.00

03:03:05.000 There's a time and a place for jokes. 0.57

03:03:07.000 I've had some funny moments where some shit happened and I crack a joke about something, but it's rare. 0.84

03:03:16.000 There was one time this guy dropped a bag of ice in the middle of the octagon on this guy's head and the ice fell everywhere and they panicked and they just ran out of there. 0.98

03:03:26.000 I'm yelling out, clean it up!

03:03:27.000 Get back in there! 1.00

03:03:29.000 What are you doing? 0.56

03:03:30.000 It's kind of like a famous clip because it was so ridiculous because these guys had tried to...

03:03:35.000 The ice spill!

03:03:37.000 The ice spill! 1.00

03:03:38.000 That's a fucking clip! 1.00

03:03:40.000 So it's in the middle of this fight. 1.00

03:03:43.000 Someone spilled ice in the octagon.

03:03:46.000 That's a big problem.

03:03:47.000 That's a lot of ice.

03:03:48.000 So it's Melvin Gallard.

03:03:50.000 Look at all that ice!

03:03:52.000 This is a disaster.

03:03:55.000 Oh no, this is good.

03:03:56.000 Look at that.

03:03:56.000 They knocked the bucket over.

03:03:57.000 This is the free stooges.

03:03:59.000 What are you freaks doing?

03:04:01.000 Everybody's booing.

03:04:01.000 Now there's even more pressure.

03:04:03.000 Oh, now they're sweeping it out.

03:04:04.000 That's good.

03:04:05.000 Put it on the side and watch Ariane fall on her head. 1.00

03:04:07.000 You know what?

03:04:08.000 This is Joe Rogan doing play-by-play of ice being spilled inside the octagon.

03:04:13.000 It's still too much.

03:04:13.000 Get back in there!

03:04:15.000 You're not done!

03:04:17.000 There's ice all over the floor!

03:04:18.000 What are these guys doing?

03:04:20.000 Those guys bailed.

03:04:21.000 There's a hundred pieces of ice still on the floor.

03:04:24.000 And these guys just scrambled out because of the pressure.

03:04:26.000 We need a Zamboni.

03:04:28.000 Let's take a look.

03:04:29.000 Let's take a look at it.

03:04:30.000 Watch it.

03:04:30.000 Here's the bag.

03:04:31.000 They get it on top of Hany's Taurus' back. 0.98

03:04:34.000 And watch the sucker open up. 0.99

03:04:35.000 Oh, no! 1.00

03:04:37.000 Oh, what a disaster.

03:04:38.000 There's ice everywhere.

03:04:39.000 Those corner men. 1.00

03:04:41.000 Somebody needs to kick their ass. 1.00

03:04:42.000 I can't fight. 1.00

03:04:42.000 And Hany's... 1.00

03:04:45.000 So that was a rare time where I'm fucking around. 0.98

03:04:48.000 Where you're joking around. 0.99

03:04:48.000 But it's like just me and my boy Mike Goldberg watching this fucking disaster take place. 0.99

03:04:53.000 I have to make fun of it. 0.99

03:04:54.000 Well, what else could you have done?

03:04:56.000 I can't do anything.

03:04:57.000 You can't go back. 1.00

03:04:58.000 And it did, not to fucking tease those poor dudes, but that guy you could tell inside was like, fuck, you're fucking it up. 1.00

03:05:04.000 You're fucking it up. 1.00

03:05:05.000 You could tell he was fumbling. 1.00

03:05:07.000 You knew he kept fucking it up. 0.99

03:05:09.000 So much pressure. 1.00

03:05:10.000 So much pressure. 0.99

03:05:11.000 Full T-Mobile arena or wherever the fuck it was. 0.98

03:05:14.000 Full pack house at the MGM. But most of the time when I'm doing it, I'm trying to just do my best to explain what's happening and to give life to it. 0.97

03:05:26.000 I'm interested to see, as your buddy, what's the next...

03:05:32.000 Moving here was a big thing.

03:05:34.000 The club is a big thing.

03:05:36.000 What's your next thing?

03:05:37.000 Nothing.

03:05:38.000 Nah, there's something.

03:05:39.000 Do stand up.

03:05:40.000 Do this. 1.00

03:05:40.000 Fucking lie. 1.00

03:05:41.000 Something's coming. 1.00

03:05:42.000 What are you talking about?

03:05:43.000 I think you're a guy who forever will want to be building something or growing something or making something or changing something.

03:05:51.000 So I think whether you know it or not, you're going to keep...

03:05:55.000 This was unexpected.

03:05:56.000 You weren't supposed to come to Austin.

03:05:59.000 It wasn't like a thing you said 30 years ago where like, man, I got to get to LA. I'm going to Austin.

03:06:03.000 This happened. 0.98

03:06:03.000 I think there are things because of who you are, shit's going to continue to happen and things will continue to change and you'll build and grow and open up something else and change something else. 0.98

03:06:12.000 I know it. 0.98

03:06:12.000 You're not a sit still guy. 0.98

03:06:14.000 Fuck that. 1.00

03:06:14.000 I'm not sitting still. 1.00

03:06:16.000 I'm just doing what I like to do.

03:06:17.000 I found what I like to do.

03:06:18.000 I do those things.

03:06:19.000 By way of, I do think other things will organically happen and change and, you know.

03:06:24.000 Maybe.

03:06:25.000 Yeah, I'm saying it. 1.00

03:06:26.000 Fuck that. 1.00

03:06:26.000 What about you? 1.00

03:06:28.000 Then move to New York?

03:06:29.000 Move to New York is going to be big.

03:06:31.000 You know, it's a weird beginning of the year.

03:06:34.000 You know, I put the special out on Netflix.

03:06:36.000 I have a movie that comes out in like a day that I have a couple of parts in.

03:06:40.000 Another movie that's...

03:06:41.000 What's the movie?

03:06:42.000 It's called House Party.

03:06:43.000 They remade House Party.

03:06:44.000 Oh my god.

03:06:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:06:46.000 I'm the white. 1.00

03:06:47.000 Show the fucking poster. 1.00

03:06:48.000 I'm the white. 1.00

03:06:49.000 There are no...

03:06:50.000 I am the white.

03:06:51.000 It's like...

03:06:52.000 Was it fun?

03:06:53.000 Yeah.

03:06:53.000 I had a good time, but I'm barely in it.

03:06:55.000 But they put me on the poster because I'm the goofy white neighbor, and you look like this.

03:07:00.000 It's like a sea of cool...

03:07:01.000 Did you get to see any of the filming?

03:07:03.000 Look at me, dude.

03:07:04.000 Oh, look at you!

03:07:06.000 Wow.

03:07:07.000 Yeah, it's out on Friday.

03:07:08.000 So who put this together?

03:07:09.000 Well, I mean...

03:07:11.000 Kid and Play.

03:07:12.000 Look at that.

03:07:13.000 Kid and Play...

03:07:13.000 Doesn't Kid do stand-up still?

03:07:15.000 That I don't know.

03:07:17.000 I think he does.

03:07:18.000 I have no idea.

03:07:19.000 He started doing stand-up, remember?

03:07:20.000 He did a few movies, and then he was doing stand-up.

03:07:24.000 Like back in the day or now?

03:07:25.000 Like in the 90s?

03:07:26.000 Yeah, I don't know if he's still doing it now.

03:07:28.000 Find out if he's still doing stand-up.

03:07:30.000 He might be still doing stand-up.

03:07:31.000 He might just be hitting the road.

03:07:33.000 But LeBron's production company put it on.

03:07:36.000 I mean, I got asked to do it.

03:07:38.000 And they were like, well, you play this fun neighbor that harasses these two young black kids.

03:07:41.000 And I was like, you better believe it.

03:07:43.000 I said, what do you want me to play my dad?

03:07:45.000 So you did that?

03:07:47.000 You got another movie coming out?

03:07:48.000 An indie movie that's a small little baby thing and then Dave, the third season of that show comes out in March and then my Netflix special.

03:07:56.000 So it's like the beginning of the year has a lot happening and I'm like, that's why I'm like, I want to see what happens and go to New York and have a little change and see what makes of it.

03:08:05.000 I like it.

03:08:06.000 Mix it up.

03:08:06.000 You gotta change it up, man.

03:08:08.000 Mix it up!

03:08:08.000 Maybe I'll move here.

03:08:10.000 Maybe you move here.

03:08:12.000 Maybe.

03:08:12.000 Once the club opens up, I'm going to try to lure you.

03:08:15.000 I was going to say.

03:08:15.000 We'll see.

03:08:15.000 When that club's open, it'll change everything.

03:08:17.000 Also, I'll try to draw you in. 0.92

03:08:18.000 Then I got some competition down here with Jamie now that he's fucking got his little track man out there. 0.67

03:08:22.000 Well, at least in the driving, but I don't think Jamie can compete with you in the rest of the golf game. 0.86

03:08:27.000 I got a lot of work to go.

03:08:28.000 I'll help you out a little bit.

03:08:31.000 We'll put some puzzle pieces together.

03:08:33.000 Just some simple bets.

03:08:34.000 Yeah, just some tiny stuff.

03:08:36.000 A couple hundred grand.

03:08:36.000 Yeah, we were talking about it before.

03:08:37.000 You know, Jordan bets like a hundred grand a hole.

03:08:39.000 What?

03:08:40.000 Charles Barkley just did an interview where he was saying how like him and he doesn't do that.

03:08:43.000 Like him and Jordan bet for a couple hundred bucks.

03:08:46.000 But Jordan, what was it?

03:08:47.000 It's printed out somewhere in an article that he said the most he saw I think was a hundred G's or two hundred G's a hole or something like that.

03:08:54.000 I don't even remember what it was. 0.98

03:08:56.000 Yeah, you don't want to fucking play Jordan. 0.97

03:08:57.000 Even if you're good, even if you're good. 0.98

03:08:59.000 So it's $180,000 a game, right?

03:09:02.000 If you're doing 18 holes.

03:09:03.000 Well, it depends on if you're doing skins or like if you carry over.

03:09:06.000 Some people don't do carry over, right?

03:09:07.000 Like if you push a hole, some people push the hole, but I imagine he carries over.

03:09:11.000 So yeah, I guess you'd, yeah.

03:09:14.000 The problem with that is he's a billionaire.

03:09:17.000 Too much.

03:09:17.000 That's what Charles was saying.

03:09:18.000 He's like, it doesn't matter to him.

03:09:20.000 He doesn't think about it.

03:09:21.000 What's a hundred grand to Michael Jordan?

03:09:23.000 That's exactly what Charles said.

03:09:24.000 I think it's Jeremy Roenick that's telling this story.

03:09:29.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the hockey player.

03:09:31.000 This is a crazy story.

03:09:32.000 It's two minutes long.

03:09:32.000 I think it's worth playing right now.

03:09:35.000 Back in the 90s, when the Bulls were on fire, this was...

03:09:41.000 End of the season for us, end of the season for them.

03:09:43.000 I get a call from Michael.

03:09:45.000 Meet me at Sunset Ridge.

03:09:47.000 Early, we're going to go play 18 holes.

03:09:49.000 We didn't have a game.

03:09:50.000 We actually had a day off.

03:09:51.000 So I meet him at Sunset Ridge.

03:09:53.000 Big old Greg Kunkel, who's one of the best people in golf here in Chicago.

03:09:57.000 I've got to mention Greg at Sunset Ridge.

03:09:59.000 So we played around, beat him for a couple thousand, and I'm getting ready to leave.

03:10:04.000 Now, Bulls are playing that night.

03:10:05.000 They play Cleveland.

03:10:07.000 That night.

03:10:07.000 So I'm thinking he's leaving.

03:10:09.000 It's 10 o'clock.

03:10:09.000 He's like, no, let's go play again.

03:10:11.000 So we fill up a bag full of ice and pours light and we walk again.

03:10:17.000 We roll around another 18. I take him for another couple.

03:10:21.000 Couple? 0.54

03:10:21.000 Yeah. 0.54

03:10:22.000 And now we've been drinking all afternoon.

03:10:23.000 Now he's going from Sunset Ridge to...

03:10:26.000 To the stadium.

03:10:27.000 To play a game.

03:10:28.000 And I'm like messing around.

03:10:30.000 I'm like, I'm going to call my bookie.

03:10:33.000 All the money that you just lost to me, I'm putting on Cleveland tonight.

03:10:37.000 He goes, I'll tell you what.

03:10:38.000 He goes, I'll bet you that we win by 20 points and I have more than 40. I'm like, done.

03:10:47.000 Son of a gun goes out, scores 52, and they win by 26 or something.

03:10:53.000 After 18 holes of golf.

03:10:55.000 36 holes of golf.

03:10:56.000 36 holes of golf and having like maybe 10 Bud Lights.

03:11:00.000 The man...

03:11:02.000 Michael Jordan, to me, is probably the best athlete that I've ever seen, that I've ever been around and watched play and, you know, the way he presented himself and played the game.

03:11:13.000 I mean, just amazing.

03:11:14.000 What year was that?

03:11:15.000 That would have been 92?

03:11:19.000 92. So early.

03:11:20.000 Wow.

03:11:21.000 Superhuman.

03:11:22.000 Wow.

03:11:23.000 10 beers.

03:11:24.000 I'm so tired playing one round with like three beers in a shot.

03:11:27.000 10 beers, 36 holes, and then he scores 52 points.

03:11:31.000 Superhuman.

03:11:32.000 Not the only time he did that, too.

03:11:33.000 Not the only time.

03:11:34.000 He did it before the finals.

03:11:35.000 He played John Stockton.

03:11:36.000 There's stories of him trying to beat down opponents playing golf.

03:11:39.000 There's rumors. 0.99

03:11:40.000 There's tons of different rumor stories about he could fucking go out all night, drink, hang out, have fun, wake up, you know, at fucking 5, 6 in the morning, work out, go play a game and score just as many as he would if he wasn't fucking blacked out the night before. 0.98

03:11:57.000 Didn't affect him. 0.99

03:11:59.000 Wow. 1.00

03:11:59.000 Superhuman shit. 1.00

03:12:00.000 That guy was a super... 1.00

03:12:01.000 It's just...

03:12:02.000 He's one of those guys where I'm sure all of the lore is real.

03:12:05.000 Where you're like...

03:12:06.000 Every story where someone's like, really?

03:12:08.000 It's like, I bet.

03:12:09.000 I bet you.

03:12:10.000 Isn't it amazing that even amongst the most hyper-competitive elite athletes, there's one that just stands out.

03:12:19.000 Oh, dude.

03:12:19.000 Yeah.

03:12:20.000 Just stands out as the freak of all freaks.

03:12:23.000 Yeah, dude.

03:12:24.000 I love that there's things like that.

03:12:26.000 Yeah.

03:12:26.000 I love that there's people.

03:12:27.000 I love the people that defy all the logic.

03:12:31.000 Even though people hate Floyd Mayweather, I love Floyd Mayweather.

03:12:35.000 He's so entertaining.

03:12:36.000 I love the fact this guy is almost 50 years old and he's still taking pictures with all his watches.

03:12:42.000 When I go on a trip for 10 days, I bring 10 watches.

03:12:45.000 If I go on a trip for 20 days, I'll bring 10 more watches.

03:12:50.000 If it's a 30 day trip, I'll bring out the biggest of the big. 0.99

03:12:53.000 And he pulls out like this fucking million dollar watch is covered in diamonds. 1.00

03:12:57.000 It's fucking insane. 1.00

03:12:58.000 But he was on a thing. 0.99

03:13:00.000 There was like an interview where they were like, how much is that watch worth?

03:13:03.000 And he's like, $500,000.

03:13:05.000 And they were like, well, and he's like, I don't know if that was what it was.

03:13:08.000 But then he's like, I made 5 million today.

03:13:09.000 And they're like, really?

03:13:10.000 He's like, today, just now.

03:13:11.000 I think I made 5 million dollars.

03:13:12.000 He's such an entertainer.

03:13:14.000 It doesn't even matter what's true or not.

03:13:17.000 It's fun.

03:13:18.000 Look at all that.

03:13:20.000 But it's also what he can do as an athlete.

03:13:23.000 I mean, the fact that the guy is still making millions and millions of dollars fighting people who have no business fighting him, including Logan Paul.

03:13:34.000 He fights a guy that's 200 pounds, a young, big, brutish athlete.

03:13:40.000 He's a big fella.

03:13:41.000 I mean, he's 200 plus.

03:13:43.000 I would say 220. He's a big kid.

03:13:45.000 I mean, I don't know what he had to weigh in at.

03:13:47.000 I don't know what the deal was.

03:13:49.000 But Floyd never fought more than 154 in his life.

03:13:52.000 He's not a big guy.

03:13:53.000 He never fought middleweight or light heavyweight.

03:13:55.000 Certainly didn't fight a heavyweight.

03:13:56.000 Yeah.

03:13:57.000 And Logan was huge!

03:13:58.000 When you see the two of them in the ring together, you're like, oh my god, this is crazy!

03:14:03.000 What'd he say?

03:14:03.000 190, basically.

03:14:04.000 189.5.

03:14:06.000 Floyd Wade, 155. And Logan Wade, 190. I'll tell you, I stood next to that kid.

03:14:13.000 Wow.

03:14:13.000 I went and did his show.

03:14:15.000 Why does it say 189, 1.5?

03:14:17.000 I don't know.

03:14:18.000 189. It must be 189. Yeah, I think the way that they got the one, they just missed four minutes.

03:14:21.000 Yeah, 189.5.

03:14:24.000 Which is, he probably had to dry himself out to make that way.

03:14:27.000 He's bigger than that.

03:14:28.000 Yeah.

03:14:29.000 When I stood next to him, he's a big kid.

03:14:31.000 Yeah.

03:14:31.000 Like, he's big.

03:14:32.000 The fact that Floyd, obviously, he's not nearly as skilled as Floyd Mayweather.

03:14:36.000 Oh, but it's a different world. 0.99

03:14:37.000 But the fact that Floyd Mayweather said, fuck it, I'll fight that big dude. 0.99

03:14:41.000 Did you ever see when Shaq fought Oscar De La Hoya? 0.99

03:14:43.000 Look at the size difference. 0.99

03:14:45.000 The size difference is fucking insane. 0.98

03:14:47.000 But that's Floyd. 0.89

03:14:48.000 I mean, and I don't know how much money he made from that, but I think he still owes Logan Paul money.

03:14:54.000 Yeah, there's some sort of a lawsuit.

03:14:56.000 I don't know if it's a dispute.

03:14:58.000 I don't know who's right.

03:14:59.000 But there is some sort of a lawsuit where he claims that he still owes millions of dollars.

03:15:04.000 I like the word dispute.

03:15:05.000 Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

03:15:07.000 With promotions and stuff like that, is it based on pay-per-view points?

03:15:11.000 Were you promised a certain amount?

03:15:12.000 You didn't get it?

03:15:14.000 Did they not sell as many pay-per-views as they thought they were?

03:15:17.000 I don't know how that all works.

03:15:19.000 I want to just tell you this, because you said that, it reminded me, my childhood best friend told me a story one time, he was on the train in Chicago, and this guy sees a guy, he recognizes from across the train, He's like, yo! 0.90

03:15:32.000 What the fuck is up?

03:15:33.000 And they're yelling across people. 1.00

03:15:34.000 He goes, what the fuck is up with you? 1.00

03:15:36.000 And he's like, not the man! 1.00

03:15:37.000 And they're chatting across the train.

03:15:38.000 My buddy said he was standing in between them.

03:15:40.000 And they're yelling over people.

03:15:42.000 And the one guy goes, hey man, how's...

03:15:44.000 Whatever his name.

03:15:45.000 How's Marco?

03:15:46.000 And the other guy goes, he's dead. 1.00

03:15:48.000 And he goes, damn! 1.00

03:15:50.000 What happened to him? 1.00

03:15:51.000 And the other guy goes, it was a dispute.

03:15:53.000 And he was like, all word?

03:15:55.000 Okay.

03:15:58.000 Like the most generic, like, it was a dispute.

03:16:02.000 And he understood it.

03:16:03.000 He was like, uh-huh.

03:16:04.000 That's a good way to handle that.

03:16:05.000 Ask no more questions.

03:16:06.000 It was a dispute.

03:16:07.000 That's a funny way that you would only talk in a crowded room and you're yelling over people.

03:16:11.000 He's not going to give any more information.

03:16:12.000 He was like, it was a dispute.

03:16:13.000 Yeah.

03:16:14.000 He no longer is with us.

03:16:15.000 Yeah.

03:16:16.000 It's interesting that it didn't go towards each other.

03:16:18.000 No, dude. 0.99

03:16:20.000 They're on a crowded ass train. 1.00

03:16:21.000 They just were fucking yelling at each other. 1.00

03:16:24.000 I just think that city culture that I do love, that I'm missing, that's why I want to go somewhere else. 0.99

03:16:31.000 I like the fucking buzz. 0.98

03:16:33.000 I like being annoyed. 1.00

03:16:36.000 I like...

03:16:36.000 Schultz does too.

03:16:37.000 I like being annoyed.

03:16:38.000 Schultz told me that when he went to Miami, he was worried he was going to get soft.

03:16:41.000 It's boring.

03:16:42.000 They had too much fun down there.

03:16:43.000 Oh, it's just boring.

03:16:44.000 It's almost like there is no...

03:16:46.000 LA is that to me too now.

03:16:48.000 It's like...

03:16:49.000 Yeah, there's not enough humming.

03:16:51.000 I want more hum.

03:16:52.000 I want more of a hum. 0.99

03:16:53.000 I just want to feel the hum of people and bullshit and be pissed off and... 0.99

03:16:57.000 Are you going to hop around and go from club to club? 0.99

03:16:59.000 Do like five sets a night?

03:17:00.000 Well, I think, you know, look, the cellar's been really good to me.

03:17:03.000 And so I definitely will go over there for sure.

03:17:06.000 The stand, I've popped in a few times.

03:17:08.000 You know, I'm not filled in enough about where I need to be going.

03:17:13.000 So I'll figure it out.

03:17:14.000 But the cellar's always been really good to me.

03:17:15.000 That's exciting.

03:17:16.000 Yeah, man, I'm excited.

03:17:17.000 I like it.

03:17:18.000 I like the idea.

03:17:19.000 Me too, babe.

03:17:20.000 Ari needs a buddy too. 1.00

03:17:21.000 Yeah, he does.

03:17:21.000 He needs new friends.

03:17:22.000 He needs a sensible friend. 1.00

03:17:24.000 He can't just talk to his fucking dog all day. 1.00

03:17:26.000 He makes out with his dog. 1.00

03:17:27.000 You ever see that? 1.00

03:17:28.000 Yeah, I don't like that shit. 1.00

03:17:29.000 It's gross. 1.00

03:17:29.000 I've had conversations. 1.00

03:17:30.000 He does it in front of you.

03:17:32.000 He does it on the air.

03:17:32.000 He did it during the podcast.

03:17:34.000 Weird white people shit. 1.00

03:17:35.000 Letting your dog lick your mouth. 1.00

03:17:36.000 I don't like that. 1.00

03:17:36.000 Fuck that. 1.00

03:17:37.000 He encourages it. 1.00

03:17:38.000 I'll hug my dog.

03:17:39.000 I love my dog.

03:17:40.000 Doesn't lick my mouth.

03:17:41.000 My dog gives me kisses, but they're on my face.

03:17:42.000 Yeah, in my mouth. 0.99

03:17:44.000 He opens his mouth like a psycho and lets it lick the roof of his mouth. 1.00

03:17:47.000 And he thinks it's funny. 1.00

03:17:48.000 And I kind of want him to get really sick. 1.00

03:17:52.000 This dog's going to be eating shit in a park somewhere. 1.00

03:17:56.000 I want him to get some bacteria from the park in his mouth. 1.00

03:18:00.000 I read about a lady who had to get her arm amputated because her dog licked her and she got madly infected. 0.94

03:18:06.000 Yeah, but don't let it lick your open orifice. 0.90

03:18:10.000 I think last time I did the podcast, which was a while ago, we watched that woman... 0.98

03:18:14.000 Who let the wolves lick her mouth. 1.00

03:18:16.000 Do you remember that woman? 1.00

03:18:17.000 That fucking crazy woman. 1.00

03:18:18.000 She would like open her mouth and wolves would like... 1.00

03:18:21.000 This is wild. 1.00

03:18:23.000 You know she lets those wolves fuck her. 1.00

03:18:24.000 Hell yeah, dude. 1.00

03:18:25.000 Hell yeah. 0.99

03:18:26.000 Woman has her hands and legs amputated after a dog licks her.

03:18:29.000 The symptoms are so rapid in progression there was nothing they could do, family says. 1.00

03:18:33.000 Except tell her to stop letting dogs lick her fucking mouth. 1.00

03:18:37.000 You could do that. 1.00

03:18:38.000 This is a PSA. I don't think it was her mouth.

03:18:39.000 They didn't cut her head off. 0.97

03:18:40.000 I don't think it was her arms.

03:18:41.000 Yeah, but how does it infect you?

03:18:43.000 I don't know, man.

03:18:43.000 Just saliva?

03:18:44.000 It's got to get in. 1.00

03:18:45.000 Yeah, it has to be some toxic shit in the dog's saliva. 1.00

03:18:49.000 Just on her skin, that's all it was. 1.00

03:18:50.000 Well, think about it.

03:18:51.000 What if a dog goes out and...

03:18:53.000 Dogs can eat all kinds of stuff.

03:18:55.000 I know, but this sounds like one of those stories where she doesn't want to tell everyone the truth.

03:19:02.000 That's a horrible story, man.

03:19:03.000 They're like, Mary, where did she lick?

03:19:05.000 She's like, just on my arm.

03:19:06.000 Just on your arm. 1.00

03:19:08.000 How many women throughout history have put peanut butter on their pussy? 1.00

03:19:11.000 I think an endless amount and we'll never know. 1.00

03:19:14.000 We'll never know.

03:19:15.000 They'll never admit it.

03:19:15.000 It probably feels amazing.

03:19:18.000 If you had a clit and the dog was licking it, it probably feels amazing. 1.00

03:19:23.000 I love it. 1.00

03:19:23.000 You know? 1.00

03:19:24.000 Probably feels really good.

03:19:25.000 Because it's so muscular and big, the tongue is enormous.

03:19:28.000 Slop, slop. 0.56

03:19:29.000 Especially you got like a Rottweiler.

03:19:32.000 Yeah.

03:19:33.000 Woo! 0.99

03:19:34.000 They probably...

03:19:35.000 Oh my god, the dog doesn't know anything's wrong, you know?

03:19:38.000 No victims.

03:19:40.000 Someone at PETA right now is...

03:19:41.000 There's no victim!

03:19:42.000 Losing their mind. 1.00

03:19:43.000 Dog likes peanut butter, you like getting your pussy licked. 1.00

03:19:46.000 What the fuck's the problem? 1.00

03:19:47.000 What are you gonna do? 0.99

03:19:48.000 What are you gonna do about that?

03:19:50.000 Andrew Santino, I think we did more than three hours.

03:19:52.000 We did, I think.

03:19:53.000 Where we at?

03:19:54.000 Hmm?

03:19:55.000 Yes.

03:19:57.000 Well, I love you, Joe Rogan.

03:19:59.000 I love you, too, buddy.

03:19:59.000 And Cheeseburger.

03:20:01.000 It's available right now on Netflix. 0.98

03:20:02.000 It's fucking hilarious. 1.00

03:20:03.000 Your new shit is hilarious, too. 1.00

03:20:05.000 Thank you, man. 1.00

03:20:05.000 The new shit you did last night. 1.00

03:20:06.000 Very funny. 1.00

03:20:07.000 Thanks for having me.

03:20:08.000 I really appreciate it. 1.00

03:20:08.000 You're a fucking man. 1.00

03:20:09.000 I love you to death. 1.00

03:20:09.000 I love you, man. 1.00

03:20:10.000 All right.

03:20:10.000 Bye, everybody.

03:20:11.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 12, 2023

Joe Rogan Experience #1924 - Andrew Santino

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Summary

Transcript