Comedian and actor Eddie Murphy joins Jemele to discuss his new glasses, his new Netflix special, and the time he ate a bag of chicken skin in his green room. Plus, Eddie opens up about why he doesn t need a coach, and why he thinks he might need one. Plus, Jemele and Eddie talk about Eddie's new movie, The Office, and Eddie s new music video for his new album. And, of course, there's a surprise guest appearance from his good friend and former co-worker, comedian Chrissie O'Donnell. Don't miss it! Subscribe to The Joe Rogan Experience: Train By Day, Play By Night, All Day, by Night, with Jemele! Subscribe, Like, and Share on whatever platform you're listening to the podcast. Thanks for listening and Good Luck Out There! -Eddie Murphy and Jemele Halftime! Check it out on Comedy Central's Late Night with Jimmy Kimmel Live! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! And don't forget to leave us a review and tell a friend about what you think of the show! We'll be giving out some shoutouts and shoutouts in next week's episode on the next episode! Thank you for listening! Cheers, Cheers. -Jemele and Cheers! XOXO, Rory McEliza and Rory -Joe Rogan - Thank you, Rory O'Brien and Rory Mclean Thank You, Rory Dorsey - Joe Rogans -- Thank you so much for this episode and Much More! - Thank You for listening to this episode, Rory, Thank You So Much, Rory and Thank You For Coming Out, Rory & Rory, So Much For This Episode? -Shout Out There, Rory is so Much More -Thank You For This, Rory - Please Don't Stop Me, Thank Me, So Good Night, So So Much More? Thanks, Rory Is So Good, Good Morning, Good Luck, Good Bless Me, Good Gotta See You, Good Day, Good Life, Good Night Night, Bless You, Bye, Blessings, Bye Bye, Good Effin' & See You Truly, Bless, Goodnight, Good Love, Good Knight, Chellie, Chella, Chelly, Bye
00:00:40.000Anthony Aiden and he's one of those guys like a MMA guy so it's like you know he's selling these nice glasses but then he's got the cauliflower ear and he's got he's always got like bruises on his face yeah I met him in New York very nice guy he gave me a beautiful pair of sunglasses like with like rose colored shades yeah they're very nice they're transition lenses and yeah mine too And the thing is with these,
00:00:59.000is this is, you know, I'm going for it, right?
00:05:19.000No, because I didn't even know, I love sports and stuff, but I'm not into, not that I'm not into boxing, I just don't ever like watch it that much.
00:05:26.000And so the guy that I'm with, he was like, oh, the fight's happening now.
00:05:29.000So he's like, I got a site and we started, I was eating ice cream yesterday in San Francisco in Little Italy.
00:05:34.000And I only eat sweets once a week now.
00:05:58.000And it was kind of one of those things where, I swear to God, even though amazing fighters, that, you know, Paul and Fury, the fight outside was so much more entertaining.
00:06:09.000I saw a homeless man yesterday in front of, as the kid out in the green room, as my witness, roundhouse kick another, land a roundhouse kick to the chin.
00:06:17.000The other homeless guy's face, the guy hit up against some outdoor dining, was like shell-shocked, like, you know, like woozy, bleeding from his lip, and then just scurried off.
00:07:46.000There's so many factors that lead into someone being homeless.
00:07:50.000And the idea that you're just going to give them housing or you're just going to give them tents and everything's going to be fine.
00:07:55.000It's like, no, you can't just ignore that as an issue.
00:07:59.000The amount of money that it costs to have massive populations of homeless people is extraordinary.
00:08:05.000If they just put the same amount or maybe more to prepare for the future into some sort of like comprehensive program to try to help people that are fucked up like that and clean them up, and it would probably have to involve psychedelic drugs.
00:09:00.000They don't know the accomplishment of doing a thing and getting better at it and improving upon and realizing that's kind of a vehicle for improving yourself.
00:09:31.000You're not dealing with the even starting line.
00:09:34.000If everybody had an even starting line, that would make sense.
00:09:36.000If everybody had a mom and a dad and they grew up in a house where no one smoked crack and fucking shot at each other.
00:09:42.000If you grew up in a place like that, okay.
00:09:44.000If we all grew up and we all had a good school to go to with good education and nice teachers that cared, but that's not everybody's experience.
00:09:53.000And until we fucking fix that, you're never going to fix this homeless problem.
00:10:29.000I was like, what are we in the fucking Alps?
00:10:31.000Bro, I was driving through a street in Fresno, and people were walking out in the middle of the street like, what the fuck are you doing driving here?
00:11:14.000There are homeless and they're spread out through the city, but you never see blocks of tents like you see in San Francisco and Vancouver.
00:11:22.000So when I was there, I was like, this doesn't feel like the right move either.
00:11:26.000You know, to just put them in one corner because New York...
00:11:30.000They're spread out, but you don't feel them as much.
00:11:34.000It's dangerous, but not really where San Francisco, Vancouver, they were like, you know, one of the local comics I was with in San Fran, he was like, you cannot leave anything in your car around this theater.
00:12:45.000But you need a system of law and order.
00:12:47.000If you don't have a system of law and order, you have too many people that would just give in with no consequences to crime.
00:12:53.000And that's not their fault in a lot of cases.
00:12:56.000I mean, we can go through that and talk about determinism and what we've already talked about before about everybody doesn't have an even starting line.
00:13:04.000But you've got to address that it's a problem, and you've got to address for peaceful people.
00:13:08.000They have to be able to walk down the street and not worry about getting assaulted and robbed.
00:13:12.000And if that happens all the time, you've got a fundamental breakdown of what your society...
00:13:17.000In societies, strong are supposed to protect the vulnerable.
00:13:20.000And if you're not doing that, then you don't have a society.
00:13:23.000And then you also have this crazy gun laws, and it's a little difficult to...
00:13:51.000And I always would say the same thing about New York.
00:13:53.000I would say, New York is the only city...
00:13:55.000That like any time of the day, any day of the week, you feel like the vibrance, you feel the people.
00:14:00.000Where I would go to a city like, even though I love it, like a city like Cleveland, Cleveland would feel, even though it's open, it felt closed.
00:14:06.000Like that's just what the city always felt like.
00:14:08.000And I was like, I never felt that once in New York.
00:14:11.000But now, over the last like year or two, New York...
00:14:15.000A lot of times, like, 50% of the week feels closed even though it's open.
00:15:15.000I feel like now, like in my, you know, when I'm, even like my mom, I want to take my daughter to Times Square to the American Girl doll store.
00:15:27.000It's I'm your mom, your granddaughter.
00:15:29.000We'll go on the train and I'll take her to the store and I'll be back.
00:15:32.000I was like, no, I won't be able to function.
00:15:35.000My anxiety won't be able to function of thinking about you and my daughter on the train.
00:15:39.000Because if there's a homeless person down there that's crazy off his meds and he throws one of you in front of the tracks and something happens, I won't be able to live with myself.
00:15:45.000And those thoughts were never in my head ever.
00:15:48.000They were never, ever, ever in my head, but now they are.
00:15:50.000And I don't know if it's because it's reality, the media, something.
00:16:22.000A lot of people said it was, like, great overreach and thuggish behavior by the police and all the horrible shit they did, the stop-and-frisk shit.
00:16:47.000He's like, I promise you, our sergeant would come in every morning, talk to us about stop and frisk, and he said, you stop each race, ethnicity, religion, you stop everybody equally, okay?
00:16:57.000He said, that's what you're looking for.
00:17:35.000Like, they brought race and identity politics into that type of policing, but we were stopping everybody equally.
00:17:40.000It's just crime is in certain areas for certain reasons.
00:17:43.000He was like, that's above my pay grade.
00:17:44.000He said, but when they stopped that stop and frisk, he said, the reason, the thing, what's happening, at least in New York now, he said, it's we'll know that somebody has a gun or a weapon.
00:17:53.000We'll know that they're a career criminal.
00:17:57.000To intervene at all unless they act first.
00:18:00.000He said, so that creates a lot of confidence for the criminal and it creates a lot of, you know, we are scared.
00:18:07.000He was like, flat out, I'm scared to apprehend someone because the police union, if I make a mistake or if it looks like I made a mistake, it's not going to have my back and I'm going to get sued and lose my family and lose my life.
00:18:17.000So you start to say, well, we know you have shit, but just deal with it.
00:18:21.000Unless you're raping, murdering someone, then I'll intervene.
00:18:23.000But that little petty shit, I'm not going to get involved in anymore.
00:18:26.000Well, I think we could look at it both ways, right?
00:18:36.000And when you think about the power that you give someone, where they could just walk up to anyone, some businessman they don't like, some fucking guy who thinks he's hot shit, some guy who's with his friends who's a little too loud, you just walk up to them and go, come on, let me see all your shit.
00:18:52.000I'm going to touch you in front of everybody, make you feel uncomfortable.
00:18:57.000Shouldn't you have to commit a crime before the police are allowed to frisk you and take your stuff?
00:19:03.000Shouldn't you at least be accused of a crime?
00:19:05.000Shouldn't there at least be some sort of criminal behavior where the police have to intervene?
00:19:08.000Because then they're like, people are going to self-correct.
00:19:12.000And you're going to act differently in order to try to stop the cops from doing this to you.
00:23:22.000I don't know if you guys spoke about it on the show.
00:23:24.000I just saw something when I was coming in today that one section of the war in Russia, the Ukrainian soldiers on the front line have a four-hour lifespan.
00:24:09.000The dude's doing a full split, sideways split, while he's holding up two 45-pound plates that are dangling from rubber bands with a bamboo pole.
00:25:39.000And it was funny, like my family were all laughing hot, Pat Howard Stern running around my tits, you know, and my daughter, everybody's having fun.
00:25:46.000And then, it's on my birthday, August, so just a few months ago, and then I go in the shower, right, and I'm not even thinking, it's not even in my head, out of nowhere, Hysterical crying bawling crying like something hit me that I was suppressing like literally like Uncontrollable tears like snot coming out of my nose like a seven-year-old could not stop and something like broke Inside of me and then I think this is where the universe comes in.
00:26:13.000It's not that it happened like I think I just had probably seen stuff like this before but now that my eyes were open to look I started taking in information and I'm on Twitter like you know Two hours later, just mindlessly scrolling, dealing with the emotions, whatever.
00:27:28.000And then at 10am, I'll get a notification the next day, Feeding window over, congratulations.
00:27:34.000And then the more time you stay in the fast, it'll say, now you're in the fat burning, now you're in the ketosis, whatever.
00:27:39.000And so I just said to myself, I'm gonna stay to this.
00:27:42.000And dude, in those two weeks, even though I was eating bullshit, in two weeks, It's not that the weight dropped, but the composition of my body was starting to change.
00:27:53.000And I noticed, I was like, oh, I ran like half a mile more.
00:27:56.000I had 10 more pounds on the end of the bench press.
00:27:59.000And then it just became like, this is what I do now.
00:28:01.000Now I'm Chrissy intermittent fasting, but then I think the glasses and the watch is from the fasting.
00:28:41.000She goes, you go from zero to 100, and I just worry that you've lost all this weight in this good period, quick period of time, and I just worry that there's a, you know, you go too hard and then something else happens.
00:28:52.000Because she reminded me, she's like, remember the last time you lost all this weight this quick?
00:30:38.000He said, no, because you know why you're not gay?
00:30:40.000He said, because you actually are insecure about your body.
00:30:44.000He said, so there's times where you'll be like, oh, my nipples are fat.
00:30:47.000And he said, gay men usually lean in to body positivity and how sexy my body is, whatever.
00:30:54.000He said, so since you don't, he's like, I just don't think, like a gay guy would be more like, look at how, look at how How imperfectly perfect I am.
00:34:23.000I instantly put it on and it took me back to 2010, to March of 2010, and I hadn't even thought about this when I made the decision to do comedy.
00:34:32.000I was on the elliptical at Force Fitness in Ridgewood, Queens.
00:34:42.000And I was on the elliptical, and I had been thinking about the idea of doing comedy for years, but I didn't have the balls to do it.
00:34:48.000And I said, Chris, something popped in my head.
00:34:50.000I was listening to Fall Out Boy on my headphone.
00:34:53.000It was, you know, at an iPod back then.
00:34:55.000I was listening to Fall Out Boy, and something about the beat and the song gave me this adrenaline rush, and I started thinking about being on stage trying stand-up.
00:35:05.000And I said, once you get off this elliptical, once you hit your 45 minutes, you're going to get off, you're going to go back to your mother's house where you live, you're going to take a shower, and you're going to go find an open mic.
00:35:33.000And I went in there, did my five minutes, absolutely bombed.
00:35:36.000But I said, I'm not turning back and I'm going to go on this journey of comedy.
00:35:39.000And when I put this watch on, something like teleported me back there and was like, dude, that decision, you went from the elliptical to affording this watch with jokes.
00:38:02.000I mean, it's amazing that there's so many of them out there, though, that you can get them off your phone instantaneously.
00:38:07.000Like, people mock, like, meme quotes and inspirational quotes.
00:38:11.000But if you could find out about Socrates in, like, a five-second little Instagram photo, and you read a quote, you're like, wow, that's pretty profound.
00:38:20.000And then you go and read more of Socrates, and then next thing you know, you're, like, reading his books.
00:42:31.000Normal date, just met him, I think, at the supermarket.
00:42:34.000Goes on a date with this guy, and she's at the table with him, and she feels very, like, an ominous feeling looking at this man.
00:42:43.000She's like, I'm looking at him, and I can see, like, there's nothing behind his eyes.
00:42:47.000Like, there's just something that I don't like about this guy.
00:42:50.000So to the point where she has never done this, you know, she was only 18, but since this has never done this, she went to a payphone at the restaurant, called her brother, and was like, can you please come pick me up, like, immediately, and stayed in the bathroom until her brother was outside,
00:43:49.000Ted Bundy, on the news, face, she was on a date with Ted Bundy before he had committed any murders, or he had committed murders but had not been famous for it yet, had not been convicted of it yet.
00:44:02.000She said when he saw him, she literally almost fell out of her chair because she was like, that look.
00:44:08.000She said that Ted Bundy, about how everyone says he's so handsome, whatever, she said he would get a look.
00:44:45.000She said, you know, based off when all his crimes were exposed, from what the FBI said when she went on a date with him, let's say it was 1978, he had already been connected to murders and other parts of that.
00:44:57.000Because his first murders were in, like, the Utah region, and that's where they were.
00:45:48.000There were other murderers, but the city pinned it all on him.
00:45:52.000And then a few months later, this Netflix documentary comes out, came out a couple of years ago, basically saying that most likely son of Sam did not kill all those people.
00:46:03.000He killed maybe one or two, but there was other murderers that just got away with it.
00:46:07.000Do you know the Henry Lee Lucas story?
00:46:25.000They think that what really happened was they came up to him and they said, you know, hey, Henry, you know, there was a few people that were killed behind the bushes in Indianapolis in 76. We'd sure love to solve that crime.
00:47:15.000Drawn together by shared childhood trauma, Henry Lee Lucas and Otis Toole became lovers, then serial killers who terrorized America in the 1970s.
00:47:25.000But he confessed to hundreds of murders, but they think that some of them he couldn't possibly have done.
00:47:31.000But did he stay in prison for the rest of his life because of it?
00:49:57.000Good con man, you know, gift a gab, whatever.
00:50:00.000So the FBI wants to pin the guy with the mutton chops, Hauser, they want to pin, Larry Hall is his name in real life, they want to pin murders on him.
00:50:08.000They know that they've kind of caught up to his game now.
00:50:10.000They know that he lies about murders here, to commit murders here, they know it, but they got to convict, they got to get him to confess to one of these murders because they found the girl's body.
00:50:19.000Because he was killing kids, like 14 year old girls, like brutal shit, raping them, horrific.
00:50:23.000So they say to this kid, to the jacked guy, they say, look, you got the gift of gab.
00:50:28.000You got 10 years in federal prison, okay?
00:50:30.000You're three months into your sentence.
00:50:32.000We're gonna transfer you to this maximum security prison where Larry Hall is.
00:50:36.000If you can get him to confess To the murder of this girl that we have evidence on and you can get that your sentences commuted immediately and you're out of prison.
00:50:48.000But he was in a minimum security prison so he would be able to either coast through 10 years or take a chance and go to the prison with murderers, rapists and potentially be murdered in the shower stall.
00:50:59.000But if he can get this guy, gift a gab, and get him to confess, then he'll get out.
00:51:26.000And don't get me wrong, murderer, you know, deserves to be in prison.
00:51:29.000He said the biggest fucking lunatic, like he was like the only person who I met.
00:51:33.000I was like, this guy needs to be like either put to death or kept like in a cage, like under the jail.
00:51:39.000He said it was Ronald DeFeo, who the Amityville Horror House guy, because he said he would cook for him all the time, Ronald DeFeo, and he would, like, let Ronald DeFeo, like, jerk off to him.
00:51:47.000They would put, like, a prison mirror, and he would, like...
00:51:49.000Because he was trans, Jerry, so he would shake his ass a little bit and let Ronald, like, get his rocks off, whatever.
00:54:20.000You know, people are terrified of this concept of militarizing the police, and rightly so.
00:54:25.000You don't want tanks rolling down the street and martial law and dictators who are essentially, you know, they used to be governors and now they're dictators and they're controlling populations.
00:54:35.000But you don't want untrained people in that role, and you don't want people that don't have a real clear understanding of what to do in any scenario.
00:54:44.000So they have to run drills the same way they do it in the military.
00:54:48.000In the military, they're constantly training.
00:54:50.000If you're in a special operations group, like my friends that have been the SEALs, They fucking constantly train for any scenario they're trying to do.
00:54:59.000Any breach they're trying to get into a house.
00:57:41.000Germany was ravaged, World War I, high inflation, so all Hitler and the Nazi party did was say, we're going back pro-German, everything's coming through Germany, jobs coming through Germany, Germany, Germany, Germany.
00:57:54.000So people looked at that and saw patriotism and nationalism in the United States and said, I fuck with that, I support that.
00:59:03.000I mean, yeah, so that's the thing is like, you know, and I get it like today's society like the kids, you know They'll just get a five-second clip on tik-tok and think they know the history of the world.
00:59:12.000They're not reading the books They're not doing the research, you know, I watch this stuff and it's it's it's you know, no excuse for what the Germans did It was horrifying.
01:00:39.000But the Holocaust in initial stages, horrific, can't state that enough, but was yielding...
01:00:50.000I don't know the exact ones, but there were different types of medications that we use today that came out of the Holocaust, different types of lab results, because they were just using them as guinea pigs, human beings.
01:00:59.000So it was yielding results, and so they were allowing it to happen.
01:01:02.000It wasn't until Hitler Crossed the line.
01:01:05.000I mean, he crossed the line from the beginning, but went, stopped yielding results and just started gassing everybody.
01:01:09.000Did Churchill and everybody say, okay, now we got to go in.
01:01:16.000You know, like I just did a whole, I do a segment on, I do a YouTube thing called Christories, where I do a history thing, and I just did the rape of Nan King.
01:01:59.000Well, I think we're just aware of human nature now in a different way.
01:02:04.000If you look at the work of guys like Steven Pinker that talk about crime in history, and if you look at the trend, everything is going to a less violent, safer place to live with less crime.
01:03:04.000If you put us in that scenario, you put us in the scenario of war, it's like a program that just gets activated in our minds, and we can murder other people very easily.
01:03:16.000There's programs that, like, one of the things you find out when you hunt The first time I ever went hunting, I shot this deer and I was like, oh, wow.
01:03:29.000That you go after something and when you're successful, it's like it recognizes that there's this area of your mind that has always existed.
01:05:29.000If you told me, Chris, you can never have Nutella or pizza again because it's going to cost you your family, I'd be like, I don't know if I can do it.
01:05:37.000Well, I think painkillers and drugs is like that for certain people.
01:05:40.000So whatever you're addicted to, even if it's positive, their brain chemistry is attached to it in the same way that you need to eat elk or whatever it may be.
01:05:50.000Well, I think we're We're talking on a spectrum here because the Nutella spectrum is like the smallest measurement versus the heroin where you have bone aches and you're fucking shaking like a leaf and sweating because you need to get your fix.
01:07:14.000And you just like it better than pockets of fanny packs?
01:07:17.000Yeah, you just unzip it, you zip it up, nothing falls out of it.
01:07:21.000So I'm hosting a show, comes out March 7th on Vice, about 70s, 80s, and 90s, and we do a whole thing about fanny packs, because they were huge in the 80s and 90s.
01:07:32.000Like retro stuff, and I'm happy that they're coming back.
01:12:35.000But the documentary actually says that Whitney Houston was sexually molested by her aunt as a child, which you don't ever really hear.
01:12:43.000A female child being molested by another female child, and it was Dionne Warwick's sister, was her aunt who molested her, and that they believe Whitney Houston has struggled with her drug abuses because she was a lesbian.
01:12:54.000But then the scientists say, well, was she a lesbian or was she molested at a young age by a woman and then, you know, warped her sexual kind of part of her brain, and now she thinks she is, but she's not.
01:13:07.000But I personally think that the best voice of all time, and the 1975 I saw in an interview once, said that they were inspired by Whitney Houston.
01:13:17.000I said, this is my fucking band, dude.
01:13:22.000I would do meet and greets after shows, and I would just feel, I couldn't articulate it, but I would feel disgusting.
01:13:28.000I would feel like I'm doing these meet and greets and I'm stealing these people's money and I hate the way I feel in my skin doing these meet and greets and I've agreed to them and I hate them and I was counting down the shows to when they were gone because I said I'm giving you my performance.
01:13:42.000I'm proud of my comedy but to make you You know, charge you $25, take a picture with me.
01:14:11.000He said, instead of going through a third party or ticket master for the add-on fee of the meet and greet, why don't you take the picture with the fan after the show and then ask them to give you $25 cash and see how that makes you feel because that is exactly what you're doing.
01:14:50.000I get that people see it as an extra source of revenue, and I get that they see it as something that people are willing to pay because they want to meet you and they want to take a photo with you.
01:15:27.000But I felt like now, you know, I feel like doing the show, having, you know, the fan, I believe I give them the best show I can, so that's hopefully worth the money for them.
01:15:38.000But not doing the me and greed, even though it's less money, I don't care.
01:16:17.000And one of the beautiful things about living in New York City or one of the beautiful things about being in LA is you can always get on stage.
01:17:05.000I didn't miss nearly as much as I would have missed if I was doing the road all the time I go out of my way to do Little things that my kids do events and hang with them and we have family time right?
01:17:16.000We try to watch movies together and do stuff together and play together like you gotta like have fun together and I think if you're if you're gone for like long stretches I don't like being gone for three days.
01:18:39.000He's like, you know, I have daughters who are older, in their 20s.
01:18:42.000He said, what happens is, is when they get older...
01:18:46.000Yes, they want to go out and be with their friends and do that and they don't need dad or mom as much as they did when they were your children's age.
01:18:53.000He said, but your time with them is actually so much more precious because they have less time to give you.
01:18:58.000So if you're on the world tour and they only had that hour a week to give you and you weren't home for it, Well, now you've missed the opportunity for that hour with your kids because they were willing to give you a time, but you weren't there.
01:19:11.000So he said, so the way you're thinking now, believe it or not, even if this means you won't get to the world-famous arena tour...
01:19:21.000He was like, you're doing the right thing.
01:19:23.000He said, Louie said, he was like, you know, I was on stage at the TD, Louie was on stage at the TD Garden, you know, he's like doing this arena tour and amazing and all that.
01:19:30.000And he was like, I could tell you, I just want to, you should only go around that arena tour, go around that top shelf one time.
01:19:37.000He was like, because you realize that you can't live up there.
01:20:04.000And then cruising altitude and have time with your family.
01:20:07.000He was like, you know, there's so many moments in my daughter's lives where I was making all this money and doing this, but I miss this or I miss that.
01:20:13.000And, you know, you have it in your mind right now.
01:20:16.000Like, I'm not going to miss things in my kids' lives.
01:20:19.000But it is hard because I'm like, man, I could, you know, be adding shows and making more money and be more successful.
01:20:40.000It's got to be pressure to be where you are.
01:20:42.000I mean, it would be amazing to get to a level like you, but you can do whatever you want to do.
01:20:48.000Wherever you go, you can sell as many tickets as humanly possible and all that, and you have all the opportunity in the world, but do you ever feel like you wake up and you're like, damn, I don't want to be this Joe Rogan.
01:21:10.000Then I just concentrate on what I can control.
01:21:12.000And when your time with your family, you just say, I'm going to be with them when I'm with them, and I'm going to give them 100%, and then when I go on the road, it's for them kind of thing.
01:22:29.000Well, that's what strikes me about you is because obviously, you know, it's public, you know, financially very well and so successful, but it doesn't feel like you're motivated by money.
01:22:39.000It feels like I'd be like, I bet you, not that I know anything, but I bet you Joe Rogan, if you spoke to Rogan's kids, they think he's a great dad.
01:23:10.000I think a lot of people, once they get a ton of money, they want more and more and more.
01:23:14.000Like, you know, Jeff Bezos doesn't But I think quality of life is the most important thing.
01:23:25.000And I think if you're really thinking about the numbers more than you think about the other stuff, you're taking away bandwidth that your mind utilizes to get better at stuff.
01:23:33.000You're taking bandwidth that could be for hanging out with my wife or hanging out with my friends.
01:25:28.000My motivation is 100% just try to do my best at whether it's hosting a podcast, or whether it's doing stand-up, or whether it's doing commentary, or just being a friend, or being a husband, or being a father, or just being a good neighbor.
01:26:22.000It's pretty complicated because the things that we've talked about today, like the anxiety and the fact that I think a really positive move for you is getting off social media.
01:26:42.000If I was 15, 16 years old and I had a Twitter account, oh my god, the mean shit that I would say to Chris DiStefano or to me or to fucking Bobby Lee or anybody.
01:26:53.000You know what I've noticed too with getting off social media just from now being at a pretty significant time, seven months, is what I've learned is one of my favorite quotes from Teddy Roosevelt is, comparison is the thief of joy.
01:27:08.000And what I realized is with being off social media, you know, I think the reason why I've been able to stick to this diet plan, exercise plan, and keep, you know, myself relatively healthy is because I'm not on social media scrolling, comparing myself to, you know, somebody who's jacked and ripped,
01:27:24.000you know, somebody who's going above and beyond.
01:27:26.000And then what happens is subconsciously I would be We're good to go.
01:29:18.000I didn't see anything at all, ever, except what I noticed was how beautiful a person Jasmine was, how lucky I was to have Jasmine.
01:29:26.000That's what I noticed, being off social media, because I blocked everything else out.
01:29:29.000And I said, what I have, my whole dream, everything I've dreamt of in life, to have a beautiful woman, a beautiful partner, a beautiful mother of my children is right here.
01:29:44.000And then I just noticed all those things that my subconscious would cloud my mind with from the social media feed and the algorithm were gone.
01:29:51.000And I was like, I see her for as beautifully perfect and imperfect she is as me.
01:31:39.000And it's just scary because there's a lot of girls out there that don't realise when someone's got a filter on and they're chasing perfection because that's what they think everybody looks like and this is not what people look like.
01:32:57.000There's a school of thought that you should keep your children away from social media, and there's a school of thought that everyone has social media.
01:33:06.000Maybe let them have experience in it, and maybe they're going to be okay.
01:33:12.000We always want to think that while these kids have this new rock and roll music, It's going to ruin childhood!
01:33:19.000And then we thought that in the 60s with drugs, and we thought that throughout with disco, people always think kids are going to ruin their fucking lives.
01:33:26.000This is the most profound change that human beings have ever experienced in terms of their access to information, the way they get educated, the way they're experiencing different things that are happening all over the world all at once.
01:33:40.000It's a profound shift in human consciousness, and these kids are going to be so much more advanced than us in terms of their ability to understand things.
01:33:48.000It's a different road, but it's a different road like the road between people that invented agriculture and the road with people at hunter-gatherer tribes worrying about invading ones.
01:34:08.000This bizarre interconnectedness that humans have to navigate now.
01:34:13.000But so what you're saying is the interconnectedness we're experiencing now at this level is the same level that somebody in the 1600s was experiencing interconnectedness because for the first time they left their village and got on a road and went to another village.
01:34:28.000Yeah, I mean there's been a bunch of these things that have happened and probably Look, I mean, my view of history is shaped by the work of Graham Hancock and Randall Carlson and John Anthony West and all these people that have examined these ancient cultures.
01:34:44.000And I have a real strong feeling that they're right and that there's a lot of evidence to support it about this Younger Drys impact theory and that human civilization like, you know, Egypt and the pyramids and before that had achieved this incredible level of sophistication in a way that we don't understand.
01:35:03.000I think we're relearning how to navigate life.
01:35:08.000That's what I think is happening right now.
01:35:47.000It's a difficult one to navigate, and I think one of the decisions that you've made as you've navigated and you've realized, hey, this is not good for me.
01:35:55.000Like, I don't like this, so I'm going to get off of that.
01:35:58.000A lot of people make similar decisions when they stop drinking or when they stop gambling.
01:36:05.000But I feel like you have to let people make those decisions for themselves and you have to give them the ability to say confidently that some people have navigated this water.
01:36:18.000Some people don't get involved in disputes online and they don't get involved in all the negative aspects of it and reading all the positive stuff too, which can also fuck with your head.
01:36:27.000Yeah, because it throws your equilibrium off.
01:36:29.000My father was a gambling addict, went through Gamblers Anonymous and has come out on the other side.
01:36:48.000And I was like living this life where I was like maybe it's better this way and I'll go out and date all these women and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:36:55.000And my father one day, you know, we're hanging out.
01:36:57.000I didn't even think I was doing anything wrong.
01:36:59.000And he sees me and he's like, you know, could see I'm a little like disheveled and no drugs, no alcohol.
01:37:32.000He was like, let me tell you something, Chrissy.
01:37:34.000He was like, here's what I know about gambling, and here's what I know about life, and here's what I know about what's going to happen to you.
01:37:40.000You can beat the house 99 times out of 100. You beat them clean 99 out of 100. The one time the house wins, which is inevitably going to happen, negates the other 99. You're hooking up and you're meeting all these strangers, bringing all these strangers into your life.
01:37:56.00099 out of 100, great, no problem, all good.
01:38:00.000The one stranger that has it in her head that she needs to ruin your life for whatever reason, has a baby, says you did this, says you did that, is going to negate all the rest.
01:38:12.000Limit your probability and stop bringing all these women into your life and you need to figure out how to go be with the mother of your children because that is what is the most important thing.
01:40:27.000So when somebody gets something that you know personally isn't a good person, or the media is saying, you know, this person just keeps rising through the ranks, because I understand life isn't fair, and that was instilled in me.
01:40:38.000Through my father, you know, and I think that my dad having this kind of life, like he would always say to me, you know, it's something dark, he would always say to me, he would say, Chris, you know, he would say, what do you want to be in life?
01:40:51.000And I would say, you know, as a kid, I want to be a doctor, I want to be an astronaut, you know, I want to be in the NBA, all the things children would say.
01:41:17.000And as a kid I would laugh at that, whatever, but now I see, because he was like, I gambled, I lost your mother, I lost all these things in my life and I don't want you to have that.
01:41:26.000And even with this Radio City stuff, because it's almost like emotional, Radio City, for a New York guy and sold all these tickets so quick.
01:42:40.000I was like, yeah, but dad, if I can sell out a second show, then maybe the Madison Square Garden people see me, and then I hit my real goal, MSG. He goes, MSG will happen when it happens.
01:44:39.000If I was a prince and I had a brother who was also a prince who was just like murdering people and I was trying to stop him, he would look exactly like Tony.
01:44:47.000Tony Hinchcliffe, I mean, look at that.
01:44:50.000Tell me that is not medieval, bloodthirsty prince face.
01:45:38.000But the Joaquin Phoenix one was like, holy shit.
01:45:41.000Timmy D had an opportunity to work with Joaquin in a movie.
01:45:46.000And he was saying, Joaquin, not only is he a great guy, but he said the acting is so amazing that it's almost like throws you off because you're like, this guy is like born to do this.
01:45:58.000And they said he stays in character the whole time, which is tough, right?
01:46:02.000I'm not an actor by trade, but I'm like, I don't know if I could stay in the character the whole time, but these guys do it.
01:46:08.000Yeah, that's a thing that, like, the actors are split on that, I guess.
01:46:14.000I mean, obviously I'm not an actor, but in that camp, there's, like, people that think that's...
01:46:18.000The dude from Succession, who's the old guy, Brian Cox?
01:47:33.000And stand-up is the art form, I think, that is the separator, the equalizer, where it's like...
01:47:37.000You know, you can definitely sell a lot of tickets if you go big on TikTok, but you can do it one time around.
01:47:44.000If they see you the one show and then you come back and you're doing the same horse shit or whatever, and there's no shortcut with stand-up.
01:48:13.000It's all part of, you know, he's always preaching to me, like, stay in the moment, write down the little tidbits of a bit, and don't worry.
01:48:23.000He was the one who told me, he's like, you know, the algorithm, right?
01:48:26.000He was like, you kids are so obsessed with the algorithm.
01:48:28.000He calls me a kid, I'm 38, but so he is.
01:48:30.000He's like, you're obsessed with the algorithm.
01:49:05.000The adrenaline rush that I got from playing basketball, Division III, but still I played, and then I transferred that adrenaline rush to physical therapy.
01:49:13.000I was a physical therapist, and I love that.
01:49:15.000Now I've transferred that adrenaline rush to comedy.
01:49:27.000And that's what matters at the end of the day.
01:49:29.000And that's why my dad's advice, I think, is profound when he's like, hey, with the Radio City shit, he's like, the goal was just putting one on sale.
01:50:41.000You get a kid from a wheelchair who couldn't walk to...
01:50:45.000Not that I'm, you know, fucking miracle worker here.
01:50:47.000He's not going to dunk a basketball, but the fact that he could stand up Out of his wheelchair and get his leg up or her leg up to take one step and watch the parents, you know, be so...
01:50:57.000It's so gratifying and you have the gratuity towards it where I was like...
01:51:01.000And I kind of transfer that a bit into comedy where it's like, I just...
01:52:10.000Mark, I started, you know, with Shane goes without saying how great he is.
01:52:15.000But Ari, Ari is one of those guys in my comedy generation who's a bit older, who is like, you know, as much as Colin Quinn is my elder and...
01:52:34.000You could come to a situation with Ari, and he's been through it, he's lived it, and he's come out the other side, and he's got so much positive advice because Ari is a guy that I find when I'm really struggling, and he would admit, he would tell you, There's been multiple times in my life over the past year where I've struggled a little bit about,
01:52:51.000you know, I had a tweet that got out of TikTok.
01:52:54.000I'm sorry that I was getting attacked for by the Mexican community.
01:53:21.000He's and also he's also experienced like redemption with this Jew special.
01:53:26.000Yeah, his Jew special so good That special is so fucking tight and so solid and he crafted it for so long It was like his best work to me the two best specials no disrespect to any other comic But the two best specials to me that I looked at of the last year and I was like those two specials are the shit and that's what I Got to strive for if I want to try to keep up.
01:53:53.000Blocks by Neil, because they're thematic.
01:53:55.000It's not just going up there and doing 60 minutes of material, which I think is fine, but I think in today's world, you've got to give an audience member a reason to stay around to the 60th minute.
01:54:06.000Because of this ADHD society we live in, and I think Ari Shafir and Neil Brennan did, in my opinion, the best job of that all year, where I said, I gotta watch this to the end, because I'm learning and laughing, and then Neil Brennan, I gotta stay to the end because he's giving me this kind of mental health advice that's so profound in a funny way.
01:55:54.000But in the same breath, put out a show called The Dictator's Playbook, where they basically take Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong-un, all these dictators in history, all these dictators, and they basically show you, Mussolini, how they did it.
01:56:49.000Of the victim, because when they made, I mean, they played the cool fucking 80s music, you know, the actor who played Jeffrey Dahmer, unbelievable actor, you know, they made him look dope.
01:56:59.000They made, you know, every time he's murdering someone, they're playing a, they got a dope soundtrack of a new band.
01:57:06.000It makes it look like, oh, you know, me or you maybe, or Jamie, you know, we would be like, oh, we could understand the pain of the victim.
01:57:14.000But some person out there in the middle of the country, they look at that and they're like, that's pretty cool.
01:57:19.000Maybe I can have a documentary about me.
01:58:38.000I think personally, you know, the term I used before, puritanical, I genuinely think it's a kind of great-great-great-great-great-grandfather of the Puritans who would say, you are not following in the footsteps of God in our definition of it,
01:58:53.000so we are going to burn you at the stake in front of the village.
02:01:28.000I don't know if that video has the example.
02:01:30.000Yeah, I was going to say, he doesn't sound like he's inhaled helium, but there's a big thing going on in that part of East Palestine, Ohio, that they're saying that they have these high-pitched, Mickey Mouse-sounding Disney voices from these train derailments, and they're saying that there's been a few of them that have derailed and released these chemicals into the air,
02:01:47.000and now that just yesterday they said that COVID was leaked from a lab, the Pentagon has admitted it.
02:03:50.000But if that is the case, and there's more than one person that's having that happen to them, and it's just happened recently, what's the long-term effects on these people to live near this stuff?
02:04:43.000So it had nothing to do with any of those things.
02:04:45.000But then they say that, again, I don't know, but then they say that there's multiple other trained derailments with chemicals and multiple other chemical facilities in Florida and this state.
02:04:54.000So it just feels like I don't know what's happening.
02:04:57.000Well, we don't know about this stuff until something like this happens.
02:05:02.000This is happening probably all the time.
02:05:05.000There's probably constantly transporting hazardous waste across the country all the time.
02:05:09.000Well, see, that's what I thought, because my boys on my group chat would be like, this is a conspiracy.
02:05:13.000They're trying to distract us because so-and-so is happening.
02:05:16.000I'm like, maybe, or is it that now that this is a hot story, the media is reporting on every train derailment that's been happening all this time, but we don't report on it?
02:05:26.000But now they're reporting on it, so we think it's a bigger problem than it actually is.
02:06:39.000And right here on this podcast, maybe because I'm high, maybe because I'm drunk, but I'm saying to you in real time that I'm regretting who I am.
02:06:57.000In real time, I'm not who I want to be, and Jasmine, I love you, you know, mother of my children, but I don't, you know, I'm not 100% not gay.
02:07:05.000I just won't, I won't, I won't, I can't commit to that.
02:07:35.000I'm not saying you want to do that, but what I'm saying is Jamie, and the same applies to you.
02:07:38.000You want to fucking get kissed on the lips, I'll kiss you on the lips.
02:07:40.000If you'd like me to leave the room for you to discuss this with Jamie, but I'm not really interested.
02:07:44.000I don't think Jamie's gay, but I don't think Jamie's not gay, is what I'll tell you.
02:07:49.000I don't think you're gay, but I don't think Jamie's not gay.
02:07:52.000I think Jamie is comfortable with who he is right now, but I think Jamie, if given a nudge, Can be persuaded to have some experiences that he didn't understand that he wanted to have.
02:09:10.000Online manifesto promises, since females have the upper hand of the dating market, transitioning from male to female will usually improve your options when it comes to getting sex.
02:09:59.000But I do think, but don't you think like an 18-year-old, 19-year-old boy growing up today, there's not a, the line between homosexuality and heterosexuality is blurred.
02:10:11.000It's not as blurred as with you or I, but it's a bit more blurred with them.
02:10:16.000I think it's very possible that what we see when we see aliens, with their genderless bodies and their big heads, I think that's us.
02:10:28.000And I think that we are all moving in this weird direction Where we're questioning gender, and we're coming up with new ideas about gender, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing, and I'm not saying it's a good thing.
02:10:44.000And if I thought about the increased use of technology and the incorporation of it into the human body, which seems to be inevitable, and then eventually the You won't have any use for muscles.
02:10:59.000If they can reproduce people with technology, which is not outside the realm of...
02:11:03.000If science projects, like if you go from here in 2023 to 1,000, 2,000 years from now, of course they're going to be able to come up with some artificial way to create human beings.
02:11:35.000It's like our T levels are dropping, fertility rates are dropping, women are having more miscarriages, there's plastics in our bodies because of the society that we live in and the way things are created.
02:11:48.000There's all these factors that are happening that are leading us into this one weird direction and that direction seems to be like Almost no gender.
02:11:57.000Almost like people just becoming some new kind of thing and reproducing in some other way.
02:12:03.000If we get to a point where literally we are in danger of extinction because human – and people say that's crazy, but there's really intelligent people far smarter than me that actually believe this is possible.
02:12:18.000If that happens, if it's happening, we'll be able to stop it before it's too late.
02:12:22.000And if it is happening, and it's inevitable, and there's nothing we can do to reverse it, and there's no drugs that we find that can fix it.
02:12:29.000Do you think that people would allow the use of some artificial form of recreation or replication of human beings in order to keep the population alive?
02:12:59.000Because we're living in a time where people can have sex and birth control and abortion rights are a big issue.
02:13:05.000But if we fucking keep going with whatever direction human beings are on right now, we're going to get to some unrecognizable place where we don't have genitals.
02:13:40.000You know, like what you just said, profound, 100% on board, on board the whole way.
02:13:48.000History, again, we've been talking about history, you know, the Daily Stoic, aka the Idaho murderer, will tell you that he'll agree with me, I believe, is that, dude, we're thinking that we're the most progressive we've ever been as a society right now in 2023. Right.
02:15:00.000This has happened in history hundreds of years before.
02:15:03.000It's just X, Y, and Z has happened to distract you from the fact that whatever puritanical thing has happened, whatever extremely liberal, extremely conservative thing has happened to distract you from the fact that we've been here before.
02:15:22.000They used to call his mistress, who was a man, they used to call President Buchanan Miss Nancy, they would call him, because everybody, he was the only president in history, still to this day, no first lady, because he was gay, he was sucking cock.
02:17:45.000Literally everybody I've ever talked to has it.
02:17:47.000Some people won't tell you they have it, but everybody that's been willing to talk about it says they have it.
02:17:53.000Everybody has like a certain version of it because it doesn't make any sense.
02:17:56.000Because you see someone like whoever the fuck it is, whether it's a musician or whether it's an athlete or whether it's a comedian or a singer or a rock star.
02:18:06.000When you see someone who is like prominent in the public eye, there's this weird thing that you have like they're a different thing.
02:18:13.000You know, you meet Robert Downey Jr. That's a different thing.
02:18:40.000You can't allow that little fire to burn inside your mind, but it is a total normal thing to think of because it doesn't make any sense the life you get through.
02:18:48.000Dude, I almost texted you this morning and said, I can't come tonight.
02:18:50.000I almost, because I said, you know what, what am I going to do?
02:18:53.000I'm going to go on there for a couple hours and what, be a fraud?
02:20:25.000And then you'll have an honest little engagement with those people, and you'll enjoy it.
02:20:32.000It's a natural propensity to lean towards the negative and think about the negative and be fearful that all this success that you have now is going to go away.
02:20:43.000Yeah, and they're worried that they're a fraud.
02:20:46.000One of the things that's really hard to watch is when you see someone who's doing really well and then all of a sudden they're not doing well anymore.
02:20:53.000And then their career starts to dwindle and they start to get panicky.
02:20:58.000People get to a weird place, especially guys who get older and it's not happening for them.
02:21:41.000You have this imposter syndrome where whatever success you may get, you don't think is worthy.
02:21:46.000But you got to kind of think that, you got to change your mindset and say, no, I am worthy of it.
02:21:51.000Well, a lot of times the thing that drove people to try to be big at show business was a lack of attention.
02:21:58.000I know that's definitely what happened to me when I was a child, and I know that happens to a lot of people.
02:22:03.000And that thing that drives you to that is like a dominant force.
02:22:09.000But at some point in time, in order to be like what I would say a healthy artist is, you have to recognize what that is and then transfer the energy that you spent trying to get attention to now try to get really good at this thing you do.
02:22:24.000Just try to get really good at stand-up.
02:22:29.000And don't think about the attention anymore.
02:22:30.000The attention is like a thing that like gets you to it and you try so hard to be good at stand-up because you want the positive feedback.
02:22:37.000You want that attention from the audience.
02:22:38.000But then once you figure out how to get that, there becomes like a transitioning period.
02:22:45.000Blossom out of that if you can you mean not everybody does like some people choose to just concentrate on right what got them to the dance But I think that like the best way to think about it and be mentally healthy It's not think about yourself and attention and just think about the bits Just think about doing your best to stand up and then once you do that the attention you get will be like a balanced attention Do you think you,
02:23:08.000as Joe Rogan right now, is the best stand-up that you've been in your life right now?
02:23:12.000Yeah, I think right now it's the best I've ever been.
02:23:14.000Because I'm doing it a lot, and I'm smarter.
02:23:27.000This world that we're living in now where people are terrified of doing stand-up, it's so strange.
02:23:33.000Cancelling people for jokes and fucking around with the way reality is being perceived.
02:23:39.000Well, like, yeah, you, Louis, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, these guys, you know, Mount Rushmore of guys from my generation who, like, you know, oh, these were the guys from, you know, when I was a kid watching them.
02:24:15.000I enjoy hilarious people that have these fucking perceptions of life that could boil down to the most outrageous shit on stage that makes me cry laughing.
02:24:25.000That's what I like, and that's what I do, and that's what I'm always gonna do.
02:24:29.000And you could like it or you don't like it, but that's what the art form is, and don't go to a rap concert and complain that they're singing about money and guns.
02:30:21.000Does it make you aspire to that, to be that kind of a person?
02:30:23.000It makes me aspire to that, but it also makes me simultaneously feel like I can't do that because I haven't dedicated my life to that and I'm too scared.
02:30:32.000If I'm sleeping in my hotel last night, I have the bathroom light on because if I'm sleeping in pure darkness, I always see a ghost or a poltergeist or I think someone's there.
02:30:41.000So I know I'm not going to be the guy, your security guard, who shit smells like positivity.
02:30:45.000Dude, did you see that the Mexican president, the president of Mexico, took a photograph and posted it saying he caught a picture of a wood elf.
02:31:42.000But basically, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
02:31:45.000And he's a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
02:31:46.000And I've been doing this, and I've been seeing results.
02:31:48.000Is he thinks that the real hypertrophy, which I think is scientifically backed, the real hypertrophy comes at the last two to three reps of an exercise.
02:31:57.000So say you're doing 12, 10, 8, 6. The last 9, 10, 11, 12 is really where the hypertrophy comes.
02:32:10.000So you take a weight that you'll fail at between 8 and 12. Let's say you're doing bicep curls.
02:32:15.000You'll take a 50-pound dumbbell and you'll fail at 10. You're failing at 10. When failing to him means you're breaking the form and the concentric exercise and you're failing.
02:32:26.000You're using other muscles to kind of recruit the bicep to get that.
02:32:57.000Every 15 seconds, up to 20, that's one set.
02:33:00.000Then you move on to the brachioradialis, the brachialis, the front deltoid, whatever it may be, and you, you know, AthleanX says you stay in that one type of workout he has.
02:33:10.000You stay in that efficient rep range, and I gotta tell ya, that's brought, I've went from Doing his efficient rep exercise, I went from being able to do about 10 pull-ups in a row to 20 in about a month and a half.
02:34:16.000Like, the people that want to do high reps, there's guys that get super jacked on calisthenics.
02:34:21.000I mean, look at those bar stars, guys.
02:34:23.000They have the most incredible physiques, and it's all calisthenics.
02:34:28.000The only thing that a lot of those guys are missing is the load-bearing work for the legs.
02:34:35.000They're load-bearing with their arms, because they're doing all this bodywork, but load-bearing with your legs, almost kind of like to build your legs up to match your upper body, you almost kind of have to do...
02:34:44.000Unless you do like one-legged type squats and plyometrics and shit, I feel like you kind of have to lift something.
02:34:56.000Before you even think about doing anything, why don't you go and get blood work done so they can find out what your nutrient levels are at, where your hormone levels are at, where your cortisol levels are at.
02:35:05.000We can have that set up next time you come into town.
02:35:07.000I want to do that because I think I just, again, get one spin on this.
02:35:54.000You'll never hear me talk bad about her.
02:35:55.000I respect this woman more than any other woman in my life.
02:35:59.000I respect her because she's your mother.
02:36:01.000So when I had a stepkid, he was like, remember, you always got to respect the mother of your children.
02:36:07.000When I was 15 years old, My mother, because my parents were divorced when I was one, my mother's Ivy League graduate, my father's third grade education.
02:36:15.000When my parents divorced when I was one, when I was 15, my mother started dating one of my best friend's fathers, which as a 15-year-old boy, brutal.
02:36:26.000I mean, you know, you hear, you know, we'd be sitting in the garage smoking weed, you know, fucking around, you know, as a 15, 16-year-old adolescent, somebody would be like, what do you think Chris's mom is doing?
02:36:45.000And so anyway, so, this guy, who's dating my mother, when I'm 15...
02:36:52.000One day, cheats on my mom and starts dating a woman, having an affair with a woman who lives directly across the street.
02:37:01.000I'm talking about we live here, directly across, we can see into that house, that's what this guy did.
02:37:07.000Cheated on my mom, carries on an affair with another woman directly across the street, right?
02:37:13.000So I'm 15, 16 years old, don't really understand that my mother's heartbroken over this.
02:37:17.000She would set up a chair, especially on the weekends, and just look out the window to see if this guy's gonna go into that other woman's house, heartbroken, horrified, staying in her pajamas, violently depressed, crying every day.
02:41:07.000He goes, but instead of playing video games in your room, Like an asshole, you should be out there comforting your mother when she's going through a hardship.
02:41:27.000So that's where the kind of dichotomy, and my father comes in, the right intention but the wrong move, because I understand what he was saying, protect your mom, which actually was instilled in me to protect my mom.
02:41:39.000But after that, but the move was to beat somebody up, another grown man when I'm just a kid, I don't know.
02:41:45.000Yeah, your anxiety makes a lot of sense.
02:42:36.000Oh, an amazing human being, an amazing human being, but there was, you know, his methods of it was a little suspect, you know, where I was like, I got his point, you know, like, but he would, like I said,
02:42:51.000his intentions on it were not always the best, but as a, you know, but the byproduct of it was, from that moment, when I was 15, 16 years old, I never, ever, ever, when my mom needed help, I was always there to help her.
02:43:06.000I think we can't even imagine what it would have been like to grow up during your dad's time.
02:43:20.000You know these people that came over here from Italy and from Ireland and England and wherever the fuck they came from and during that time like so many people came during the early 19th century Those fucking people were hard-ass people, man.
02:43:34.000And they made hard-ass people, and it took a long time for us to get sensitive.
02:43:39.000And we're only becoming really sensitive to what happens to people when they grow up over the last few generations.
02:43:46.000And somebody like my dad, like I said, third, fourth grade education, was able to foresee issues we're having in society now, 12 years ago.
02:43:55.000Like, for example, when Twitter came out, right?
02:43:56.000My dad said, I remember this was 2009, 2009, 2010. I just got into comedy, so it was 2010. And I got a Twitter, and I was telling my dad, and he was like, why'd you do that?
02:44:06.000I was like, ah, you know, it's comedy, you know, like you gotta, everybody has a Twitter, right?
02:45:26.000Like I grew up, like I said, with an Ivy League educated mother, so very book smart, and a third grade educated father, but very street smart, in and out of the system, whatever.
02:45:36.000I had this both sides of, like, my mom making me, you know, understand history and memorize every state capital and understand the economy, blah, blah, blah, where my dad coming at it from just life stuff.
02:45:46.000Like, when I... You know, my oldest daughter is...
02:45:50.000I'm seven now, and I've only been with Jasmine, the mother of my children, for eight years, so that means the second or third date, we conceived our daughter.
02:45:59.000And it was a big thing, because I grew up very Catholic, especially, you know, I got Catholic tattoos all over my body, like I'm fighting in the army of God, like I'm Chrissy Crusades.
02:46:06.000And I grew up that way, just fucking Catholicism pounded down my throat.
02:46:24.000Like, I had to approach my mother now with this idea of I got a woman pregnant who I barely know out of wedlock, And the anxiety, the kind of fear to approach my mother with this was palpable.
02:47:57.000It's a great combination for a balanced view of the world.
02:47:59.000Yeah, and I agree with that, because my mom, at times, we would butt heads, but she was keeping me in the straight line as much as she could, where my dad was like, I'm just supporting you in every way I can.
02:48:10.000So I did have a, again, privileged, beautiful, blessed life.
02:49:32.000See, and that's what I love about, you know, I have a stepchild, and I was raised half by a stepmom.
02:49:38.000And I feel like step-parenting is the most thankless job.
02:49:43.000It's one of the most thankless jobs because I have to—I treat my stepson like he is my own, just like my stepmother treated me like I was her own.
02:49:50.000There's no nature or biological connection.
02:49:53.000But I said— My connection to you as my stepson is through my daughters, and you are as much as, even though I did not create you, you are a part of my life, part of my family, and I love you like I love my children.
02:50:05.000But it's a tough thing to kind of, when you're a stepparent, you realize like, man, I'm in third, fourth, fifth place in my own life, and I just have to accept that.
02:50:15.000I gotta try to be the most positive human being I can and be happy for me, because happiness is, I can transfer it to my family.
02:50:24.000But being a stepfather is harder than being a biological father because its nature is saying, this is not your kid, but yet you have to say, no, no, no, it is my kid.
02:50:37.000And I found that being a stepdad has, it's almost like, you know, when you kind of like grind the gears and like, you know, grind the stuff and then a diamond comes out.
02:50:46.000Like, I feel like that, I feel like I'm proud to be a father because of my step-parenting more than my biological.
02:50:53.000I love my children, all three of them the same equally, even though one of them is not biologically mine.
02:54:08.000You know, upset, but Larry will be in a better place.
02:54:12.000I'm there with my mother, of course, it's 11 o'clock at night, there with my mother, holding her, you know, I'm upset, she's upset, of course.
02:56:45.000Larry now is like blinking like literally like we gave Larry like a shot of cocaine fucking fully alive unbelievable my mom doesn't know what to do they give the right medicine to Larry like the right medicine Larry died in five seconds dead last blink whatever I thought the same thing you did I said God knows what the hell happened to the dog next door yeah I have no fucking idea.
02:59:24.000To do it properly, if you're going to adjust your hormones, and you're at an age at 38 where a lot of people either start or consider starting, you really should get, like, a comprehensive panel on your overall health.
03:01:07.000No, I think I've always had high blood pressure and high cholesterol when I was 12. But if someone is taking a pill to prevent blood clots, I mean, I'm not a doctor, right?
03:02:06.000On an empty stomach, which I heard does not break your fast.
03:02:10.000I take those on an empty stomach at 8 a.m.
03:02:12.000with a shot of apple cider vinegar, and it says it does not break your fast because anything over 30 calories breaks your fast, according to the Zero Fasting app, and this is 30 on the dot.