The Joe Rogan Experience - March 08, 2023


Joe Rogan Experience #1952 - Michael Malice


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours and 28 minutes

Words per Minute

199.31624

Word Count

41,491

Sentence Count

4,281

Misogynist Sentences

102


Summary

What's in the Box is a podcast about what's in a box. This week's episode features a special guest, Michael Malice, who is visiting Austin, TX and we talk about the craziness that is Bridget Phetasy's visit to Texas this past week and how she's going to be here in May. Also, a story about twins marching in a parade dressed as identical twins and marching with all the other black people for some reason. We also talk about vaccines and why we should all be vaccinated against them. And, of course, we have an update on what's going on with Bridget's trip to Texas and how long it will be before she's here. Thanks to everyone for all your support and stay tuned for more What's In the Box episodes coming soon! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thank you for all the support and shout out to our sponsor, Red Bull. I hope you enjoy this episode and the rest of the ones you've been listening to What's in The Box! XOXO, Michael, xoxo Xoxo, Michael and the crew at the Austin Pod Project Thanks for listening and supporting the podcast, Michael & the team at and the support of at the PodXOz Michael, Jaron, Andrea, Annette, and Annette and Andrea, and the amazing people in Austin, Texas, and all of the support they've been giving us all the love and support we've gotten so far, thank you so much. and so much more! - Thank you to everyone who's been supporting us. - thank you for being here in Austin and supporting us with all of our support and support us in this podcast! Love ya, bye. Love you, bye, bye! Michael & Annette - Cheers, Cheers! Cheers. xo, Kristy, Jen, Sarah, Sarah, Amy, Andrea and Jaron & Jaron Thankyou, AJ, Erika, Jaron and Ben, and Jadon, Kristy & Jadyn, and Jason, and much more... -- P.B. -- Michael, Mike, and Ryan, Tim, etc., <3 - ~


Transcript

00:00:12.000 Hey, Michael Malice.
00:00:14.000 How are you, my friend?
00:00:14.000 I am doing outstanding.
00:00:16.000 Always good to see you.
00:00:17.000 No one's ever said that to me before.
00:00:19.000 I love you.
00:00:20.000 Come on, man.
00:00:21.000 That's not true.
00:00:21.000 No one's ever said that either.
00:00:22.000 I think I've said it.
00:00:23.000 I think I've said it.
00:00:24.000 You know I love you.
00:00:25.000 What's in the box, man?
00:00:26.000 What's in the box?
00:00:27.000 So Alfred Hitchcock, great film director, made this comment about the difference between surprise and suspense, right?
00:00:37.000 Yes.
00:00:37.000 So surprise is a bomb goes off.
00:00:40.000 There's five seconds of surprise.
00:00:42.000 People are like, okay, what happened?
00:00:43.000 Suspense is when the audience knows something that the characters don't.
00:00:47.000 So you have Cary Grant drinking tea with his girlfriend and there's a bomb under the table and And for ten minutes, they're just perfectly calm, and there's a bomb.
00:00:56.000 So, you are a lot nicer to your audience than I am, which is probably why you're a lot more popular than I am.
00:01:01.000 So, can we wait like a five minutes before we show what's in the box?
00:01:04.000 Sure.
00:01:05.000 We can wait an hour.
00:01:05.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:01:06.000 Okay.
00:01:07.000 We have a fun surprise in the box.
00:01:08.000 We got all day.
00:01:10.000 This is from one of the many friends I've met here in Austin, and every opportunity I have to talk about how much I love Austin, I will absolutely fucking take.
00:01:20.000 I am so giddy to be here.
00:01:23.000 I'll tell you this story.
00:01:24.000 A couple of my friends just came to visit.
00:01:26.000 I've known them since high school, Andrea and Annette.
00:01:29.000 And they reminded me of this story that they had done when they were in their 30s, old enough to know better.
00:01:35.000 So there's a city in Ohio called Twinsburg.
00:01:38.000 Have you heard of this?
00:01:38.000 No.
00:01:39.000 So Twinsburg every year has twin parades.
00:01:43.000 And you can go when you're twins and march in the parades and hang out with other twins.
00:01:48.000 Andrea and Annette, who are unrelated and don't look alike at all, decided, you know what we're going to do?
00:01:54.000 We're going to just go and pass off as identical twins, even though you can go there as fraternal twins.
00:02:00.000 There may have been some fake birth certificates involved.
00:02:03.000 I can't say that for legal reasons.
00:02:05.000 Do you have to show birth certificates to get in the parade?
00:02:07.000 Well, if you're going to march as identical twins and register as them, you have to show birth certificates.
00:02:12.000 Now, mind you, they could have gone for free, but they decided to pay the money to go as identical twins.
00:02:18.000 So they got the same haircuts, dressed the same.
00:02:21.000 They took part in medical research.
00:02:23.000 So if you still have cancer, it's because of them.
00:02:25.000 And they ended up marching in the identical twin parade with all the black people for some reason.
00:02:32.000 Okay.
00:02:33.000 So it's just...
00:02:34.000 What does it have to do with the box?
00:02:36.000 It's just...
00:02:36.000 These are just friends of mine who are just here visiting Austin.
00:02:39.000 This box is...
00:02:40.000 What's in the box is made from some other people that I was friends here in Austin.
00:02:43.000 The point being, everyone's coming through here just week after week.
00:02:48.000 I want to give you an update.
00:02:49.000 Bridget Phetasy is closed in her house.
00:02:51.000 Yeah, she's a good friend of mine.
00:02:52.000 Yeah, and mine too.
00:02:53.000 Her husband, Jaron, is going to be staying with me in two weeks while he checks out the updates.
00:02:56.000 So Deborah So is going to be here visiting in May.
00:02:59.000 Oh, is she really?
00:03:00.000 Yes.
00:03:00.000 She's escaped from Canada?
00:03:01.000 She's escaping from Canada.
00:03:02.000 And did they let her come over here?
00:03:04.000 And she'll be able to be here in May.
00:03:06.000 So right now, you can't fly in unless you're vaccinated, correct?
00:03:09.000 I think America is the only country where that is the situation.
00:03:14.000 Protecting us, Michael.
00:03:16.000 Keeping us protected.
00:03:17.000 It's legal to come here if you have COVID. But not if you're not vaccinated.
00:03:22.000 Well, that makes sense.
00:03:23.000 Yeah, it's just absolutely crazy.
00:03:25.000 But May 11th, people will be able to come here and absolutely visit.
00:03:28.000 Thank God they're waiting until May because it's March.
00:03:31.000 They postponed it, too.
00:03:32.000 You need a couple of months to really make sure you got it ready.
00:03:35.000 It was supposed to be April.
00:03:35.000 They postponed it until May.
00:03:37.000 So, I mean, are you not loving what's been happening with this city?
00:03:40.000 Yeah, I love the city.
00:03:41.000 And it's thanks to you in large part, don't you think?
00:03:43.000 I don't know.
00:03:44.000 I'm very happy if anybody thinks that.
00:03:46.000 But it's just an amazing city.
00:03:49.000 We're very lucky to be here.
00:03:50.000 It's really special.
00:03:51.000 It's very unusual.
00:03:53.000 I feel like we're in unprecedented times because this is the only time in American history, to my knowledge, where a red state is going to be a cultural center.
00:04:04.000 Because you remember New York in the 70s, Paris in the 20s.
00:04:07.000 Obviously, Paris is another country.
00:04:09.000 But when you have all these different groups then diagramming together, it becomes something bigger than the sum of its parts.
00:04:16.000 So we've got the biohacker people here.
00:04:18.000 We've got the Bitcoin people here.
00:04:20.000 We've got the Whole Foods crowd, the Kuya crowd, your honor people.
00:04:23.000 You've got the podcasters.
00:04:24.000 You've got the comedians.
00:04:25.000 You know, it's just...
00:04:26.000 It's amazing.
00:04:28.000 Musicians.
00:04:29.000 It's not even getting to the music capital of the world.
00:04:31.000 Incredible.
00:04:32.000 The music here is incredible.
00:04:33.000 It's so good.
00:04:34.000 And it's so accessible.
00:04:36.000 Yeah, you can go out any night.
00:04:37.000 There's bars on 6th Street on any night that have amazing bands playing.
00:04:41.000 That's what we found out about Ellis Bullard.
00:04:43.000 What is that place called?
00:04:44.000 The White Horse?
00:04:46.000 What's that bar called?
00:04:47.000 Sounds right.
00:04:48.000 I think it's the white horse.
00:04:49.000 Cool little fucking bar, like real cool, like little fucking shitty pool table.
00:04:55.000 And there's like maybe 15, 20 people in there.
00:04:58.000 And there's this honky tonk dude on stage.
00:05:01.000 And I'm like, this guy is fucking amazing.
00:05:04.000 His band's incredible.
00:05:05.000 I'm like, how good is this music?
00:05:08.000 And the thing I'm really happy about here as opposed to New York or LA is people are appreciative of being here.
00:05:15.000 They're not too cool for school.
00:05:16.000 There's none of this like, ugh, you know.
00:05:18.000 My friend Lux, she had this great line about if you are asked about an app, just say, oh, I was on that for a while.
00:05:25.000 It sucked.
00:05:26.000 So like you could just pass.
00:05:27.000 You can pass at any party.
00:05:29.000 Oh yeah, I tried that for a while.
00:05:30.000 It sucked.
00:05:30.000 But we don't have that here.
00:05:32.000 People are actually enthusiastic.
00:05:34.000 The comedy scene here is amazing.
00:05:36.000 The comedy scene here is insane.
00:05:37.000 I just saw Neil Hamburger a couple weeks ago.
00:05:39.000 Nice!
00:05:40.000 He's my favorite comedian.
00:05:40.000 He's funny, man.
00:05:41.000 That dude's very funny.
00:05:42.000 He's my absolute hero.
00:05:44.000 He opened up for Louis once.
00:05:45.000 I saw him at the Irvine Improv.
00:05:47.000 And I was like, dude, that guy's so good.
00:05:49.000 Did they get it?
00:05:50.000 Yeah, well there's comedy fans there.
00:05:53.000 First of all, if he's opening up for Louis, he's gonna be really funny.
00:05:58.000 Louis has some oddball people open up for him.
00:06:01.000 He had Jay London open up for him in LA. Do you know who Jay London is?
00:06:07.000 Jay London is a guy I did my very first show with like on V I think it was like VH1 or something like that or maybe might not have even been that good of a network as well as like shitty stand-up spotlight something shows and He was on last comic standing and for a while like caught some heat.
00:06:25.000 He's a very eccentric guy like When I met him out here in L.A., I met him in New York, and then I saw him out here in L.A. in like 2000, 2001, around there.
00:06:36.000 And then when I met him, he was like selling stuff on the street.
00:06:40.000 Like he was selling, like after September 11th, he was selling like American flags, because everybody was putting American flags in their car, like the suction cup ones.
00:06:48.000 So he's like this fucking strange sort of character, but he's really funny.
00:06:53.000 And he brings like his notes on stage, and he's always embarrassed about his jokes, and he hides.
00:06:57.000 That's Jay.
00:06:58.000 Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
00:06:59.000 I've seen him.
00:07:00.000 You know, so, like, Louis has, like, these odd duck people open up for him.
00:07:04.000 And Jay's hilarious.
00:07:06.000 And he had Neil Hamburger open up for him.
00:07:08.000 So everybody who's a Louis fan kind of knows.
00:07:11.000 If you're opening up for Louis, it's because he asked you to.
00:07:13.000 Yeah, one time I saw Neil, he was doing a residency, I think at the satellite in LA, and there was this basic bitch on a date in front of me with her boyfriend, and I told this story 20 times, and she turns to him and she goes, what is this?
00:07:24.000 And I'm like, that is the exact right reaction.
00:07:30.000 If you don't know, you just think, oh my god, what have I stumbled into, you know?
00:07:34.000 But I'm surprised.
00:07:35.000 I mean, I love that kind of alt-comedy stuff.
00:07:39.000 I think it's just something that's just a little bit out there.
00:07:43.000 Kurt Metzger, who I'm buddies with.
00:07:44.000 I love Kurt.
00:07:45.000 He's open for Louis, too.
00:07:47.000 Yeah, he is.
00:07:48.000 He's amazing.
00:07:49.000 I just saw him here.
00:07:50.000 The funny thing is, with these comedians, as you obviously know, is that...
00:07:54.000 It's one thing when you're hanging out and someone's funny that you go on stage and it's a whole other level.
00:07:58.000 I was watching him at the Creek in the Cave and he just goes, yeah, so my back's been hurting me a lot recently, so we're going to be talking about that for the next 20 minutes.
00:08:06.000 I'm like, why is that so fucking funny?
00:08:09.000 It's funny coming from him.
00:08:11.000 It's coming from him.
00:08:12.000 He's got a very unique sense of humor.
00:08:14.000 He's so smart, too.
00:08:16.000 He's like, oh, and he's a guy, you know, he grew up as a, I believe it was a Jehovah's Witness, right?
00:08:20.000 Yeah.
00:08:21.000 So he grew up in a religious cult, and he is, like, not buying it.
00:08:25.000 Like, whenever there's any kind of group think going on, any kind of, he's like, oh, I know what this is.
00:08:30.000 I know what this is.
00:08:32.000 Get the fuck out of here with this.
00:08:33.000 He's the best at calling that.
00:08:35.000 He's so good at that because I would imagine, I don't have that experience, but I would imagine if you had that experience of growing up in a fucking religious cult and then escaping, then to realize like, oh my god, these are regular people.
00:08:47.000 Regular people get caught up in mind viruses.
00:08:49.000 Like, we always want to look at people in a cult and go, well, that would never be me.
00:08:53.000 I'm too smart for that.
00:08:55.000 These fucking morons.
00:08:56.000 Why do they believe that guy?
00:08:58.000 We're all susceptible.
00:08:59.000 All of us are.
00:09:00.000 It's easier to train a smart dog than a dumb one.
00:09:03.000 And especially the appeal of the cult is you have this hidden arcane knowledge that the normies don't.
00:09:10.000 And this is going to feed into your sense of intelligence and self-importance.
00:09:16.000 It's like you're one of the ones in the know and everyone else has blinders on.
00:09:20.000 And you can be really aggressive about enforcing your opinion because you know it's right.
00:09:26.000 Right.
00:09:27.000 You know I'm saying like there's a thing that people are doing that they did during the pandemic and they do about any issue that's controversial whether it's abortion or Whether it's guns or anything.
00:09:38.000 It's like the people instead of like talking about it like These are the pros and cons.
00:09:45.000 This is what's going on.
00:09:46.000 This is where I can understand why you would think like this.
00:09:48.000 This is why I think like that.
00:09:50.000 And just try to work it out.
00:09:51.000 It always becomes this very vicious attack on your mental capacity, on your thought process, your education.
00:10:03.000 Immediately, they want to classify you in some sort of a category where they could dismiss you.
00:10:08.000 Whether it's sexist or racist or transphobic or whatever.
00:10:11.000 Outgroup.
00:10:11.000 Throw you in an out group and start screaming at you.
00:10:15.000 And it's the most unproductive way to communicate.
00:10:19.000 And I think it's also a product of social media that we need to be really careful about because it's changing the way people interact with each other.
00:10:26.000 Well, I think it's more a function of evolutionary psychology because if I'm low status and I have no opportunity to...
00:10:32.000 You know, raise my rank in terms of kind of whatever long-term mating.
00:10:36.000 This gives me an excuse.
00:10:38.000 Now I'm in a position to tell Joe Rogan, Mr. Podcaster celebrity, that I'm better than him.
00:10:43.000 So right away, without having to do any of the work building the audience, I'm leapfrogging over you because I understand drug protocols better than Joe who went to the veterinarian and just took something off the shelf and just injected into his veins.
00:10:56.000 Yes.
00:10:57.000 Yeah, definitely it's that too.
00:10:59.000 There's like many factors, but that's definitely one of the factors why people get aggressive and attack famous people.
00:11:05.000 But it's not just famous people.
00:11:07.000 It's they do it to people that have any person who has an ideology that's different than them.
00:11:13.000 Yeah.
00:11:13.000 People on the right do it, too.
00:11:15.000 Of course they do.
00:11:16.000 Everybody does it.
00:11:17.000 It's a natural part of human...
00:11:19.000 That's why you're seeing these bizarre shifts.
00:11:22.000 Like, the left, when I was a kid...
00:11:24.000 My stepfather was a hippie.
00:11:27.000 And we grew up in San Francisco in the 70s during the Vietnam War.
00:11:31.000 Oh, okay.
00:11:31.000 So I was, like, surrounded by...
00:11:34.000 My neighbors were gay.
00:11:37.000 Everyone was an artist.
00:11:39.000 There was all these fucking weirdos.
00:11:41.000 It's like...
00:11:43.000 Ideologies like this, like whatever we're doing, whether it's right or left, it's like everybody just gets locked into a group mindset for some strange reason.
00:11:56.000 And if you don't agree with everything in that group mindset, they could just fucking dismiss you.
00:12:02.000 Right.
00:12:02.000 They just completely dismiss you.
00:12:04.000 They're looking for filters to not have to listen to anything you say further.
00:12:08.000 I have pronouns in my bio on Twitter, because if you're this type of conservative who thinks, oh, pronouns and bio, I don't have to listen to anything this guy has to say, I don't want to be talking to you anyway, if that's how your mind works.
00:12:19.000 So right away, it's going to alienate me from that audience.
00:12:22.000 It also works because if you're someone...
00:12:30.000 Yeah.
00:12:32.000 Yeah.
00:12:33.000 Yeah.
00:12:34.000 Yeah.
00:12:45.000 I mean, anyone who likes this can't possibly.
00:12:48.000 Well, it's like stupid people make good points all the time.
00:12:50.000 So when I was a kid, the left was all about freedom of speech and freedom of expression.
00:12:57.000 And, you know, if you were like a person who never vaccinated your children, you would be much more likely to be on the left.
00:13:03.000 You were someone who didn't trust pharmaceutical companies.
00:13:07.000 Hippies were all about healthy food.
00:13:09.000 A lot of the hippie stuff was stupid, but a lot of the hippie stuff was...
00:13:14.000 It's not that it was stupid, it just doesn't work without discipline.
00:13:18.000 It doesn't work without exceptional people who work hard with discipline and then share with each other.
00:13:22.000 You can't just everybody share with everybody because there's a natural human inclination to not do anything if you don't have to do anything, especially when you're young.
00:13:31.000 It's not good for the development of a human being to give them everything they want when they're young.
00:13:36.000 That's why it's fucked up when you see young rich kids.
00:13:39.000 It's like they're classically fucked up.
00:13:42.000 There's something wrong about that, right?
00:13:44.000 You know, I think hippies have gotten a bad rap.
00:13:46.000 And when I was much younger, I thought, okay, these guys are idiots.
00:13:49.000 They don't know what they're talking about.
00:13:50.000 The older I've gotten, the more I'm like, you know what?
00:13:52.000 They're probably onto something.
00:13:53.000 They were onto something, like in the late 60s, where they're like, why are we sending kids to die overseas?
00:13:58.000 Why are drugs illegal?
00:14:22.000 Yeah, they're just really nice people.
00:14:24.000 Yeah, they're just really nice people.
00:14:25.000 Yeah, they're just really nice people.
00:14:25.000 Yeah, they're just really nice people.
00:14:25.000 Yeah, they're just really nice people.
00:14:26.000 Yeah, and they got into a nice vibe of being a good person.
00:14:30.000 But that's what the left used to be about.
00:14:32.000 The left used to be about freedom.
00:14:34.000 It was more like freedom of speech, freedom of expression.
00:14:40.000 Think about the comic books that came from the left, like R. Crumb.
00:14:43.000 Fucking bizarre, wild shit.
00:14:45.000 The right would never create, right?
00:14:48.000 But then somewhere along the line, the roles reversed.
00:14:51.000 And I don't even know if people realize it.
00:14:53.000 It's like a shifting of the polar ice caps.
00:14:56.000 Like today, if you were going to be a person who had a controversial comic book, you would most likely be on the right.
00:15:03.000 100%.
00:15:04.000 If you had anything remotely as satirical and as fucked up as some of those R. Crumb comics.
00:15:10.000 Have you ever read those?
00:15:11.000 Did you know R. Crumb was going to draw my graphic novel?
00:15:14.000 No!
00:15:14.000 You didn't know this?
00:15:15.000 You know Harvey Pekar wrote a book about me, right?
00:15:18.000 Who did?
00:15:18.000 Harvey Pekar?
00:15:19.000 I did not.
00:15:19.000 I did not know that.
00:15:20.000 Harvey Pekar from American Splendor, who is R. Crumb's bestie, right?
00:15:24.000 He had a graphic novel about me, came out in 2006, and R. Crumb was originally going to be the artist, which would have been absolutely...
00:15:34.000 Did you ever watch that documentary?
00:15:35.000 Of course, where his brother's eating the rope.
00:15:38.000 Insane.
00:15:38.000 His brother's just out to lunch, just reading books all day and living in the house.
00:15:42.000 They're all insane.
00:15:44.000 But that was such a...
00:15:45.000 I mean, talking about earlier, we were talking about Austin.
00:15:47.000 Like, the Midwest in that time when America was kind of this dark and lost place...
00:15:52.000 There was so much creativity in that comic scene, especially all the way through the 90s.
00:15:57.000 Like, a lot of really amazing creative people.
00:16:00.000 Dan Klaus is another one who's just amazing.
00:16:03.000 Really just great stuff.
00:16:04.000 Yeah, so Harvey did a book about me.
00:16:07.000 It goes for like 200 bucks now, too.
00:16:09.000 That's amazing.
00:16:10.000 But Art Crumb's comics are pretty fucking wild.
00:16:13.000 Like, today?
00:16:14.000 Even then.
00:16:15.000 Even then.
00:16:16.000 Even then.
00:16:18.000 You know when I was like this is how much of hippies my parents were we had that our crumb how to wipe your ass thing Framed in the bathroom.
00:16:27.000 Do you know that?
00:16:28.000 I don't know.
00:16:29.000 There's like our crumb had like it was like a toilet that like showed you how to wipe your ass It's the most ridiculous thing and it was like that's it right there.
00:16:39.000 Oh my god Yeah, don't forget to wipe your ass folks bro.
00:16:42.000 That was fucking in my house That was in our bathroom when I was a little kid.
00:16:47.000 A framed?
00:16:48.000 Yeah, my parents were wild.
00:16:49.000 They didn't just tape it up, they put a frame on it?
00:16:51.000 If I remember correctly, either it was framed or it was like posted somewhere.
00:16:55.000 I don't remember exactly how it was.
00:16:56.000 I'm pretty sure it was framed though.
00:16:57.000 Oh my god, that's amazing.
00:16:58.000 It was like a poster or something.
00:17:01.000 That was it, right there.
00:17:02.000 Don't forget to wipe your ass, folks!
00:17:04.000 My buddy Eric July just had a Kickstarter or something like that for his comic book series.
00:17:08.000 I think he raised like 100,000 or some crazy number.
00:17:11.000 So there is this big – but he's an anarchist.
00:17:13.000 He's considered on the right.
00:17:15.000 But yeah, like people are – because the other thing is it's not just that it's this kind of leftist crap.
00:17:20.000 It's just regurgitating the same stories.
00:17:22.000 Like how many times is Superman going to punch Brainiac in the face?
00:17:25.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:17:26.000 It just kind of gets old – Well, there's like two different kinds of comics, right?
00:17:30.000 There's like comics that are like the classic superhero genre comics that I loved growing up.
00:17:36.000 Like the Avengers and the Hulk and Conan the Barbarian and all that shit.
00:17:41.000 And then there's like these graphic novels that are independent and people do like really weird cool stuff.
00:17:49.000 I guess you could put Spawn in there.
00:17:51.000 You could put a bunch of them.
00:17:53.000 You could put a bunch of these very interesting comics.
00:17:56.000 But then they go as far out there.
00:17:58.000 When I lived in Boston, they had these independent comic book stores.
00:18:02.000 You'd go there and there'd be these really small batch comics that these weirdo artists would create.
00:18:07.000 Some of them were wild.
00:18:09.000 Really amazing, interesting, out there stuff in comic book form.
00:18:15.000 But if you're gonna have anything that's like as controversial as our crumb, it's gonna be coming from the right now, which is really weird.
00:18:22.000 It's like a new thing.
00:18:23.000 And that's unprecedented, right?
00:18:25.000 Unprecedented.
00:18:25.000 The right is the one telling us to get out of this war in Ukraine.
00:18:29.000 It's the right.
00:18:30.000 Can you imagine if you're just like...
00:18:31.000 During the Bush era, if you imagine that Republicans would be chanting, let's get the military home, enough of the war machine, it would be...
00:18:40.000 Because it's almost as crazy as Bernie Sanders a couple of years ago telling us we need to support either the CIA or the FBI. I'm like, you are the epitome of this filthy old...
00:18:49.000 Like, you open your wallet, moths are going to fly out, and you're telling us to trust the FBI or CIA? I couldn't believe it, but...
00:18:56.000 Blanket trust.
00:18:57.000 Yeah, it's this complete...
00:18:59.000 I trust the idea of both of them.
00:19:00.000 Do you?
00:19:01.000 I trust some of the individuals that are in them, yes.
00:19:03.000 But it's just a fucking group of humans.
00:19:05.000 When you have a group of humans, any group of humans, you're gonna have certain people that bend the rules, you're gonna have certain people that say, you know what, I think I'm gonna get away with this.
00:19:13.000 You're gonna have certain people that say, I'm gonna use this power because it's fun.
00:19:17.000 You got a lot of weird things that happen when you get people, and if you call them the FBI, it's a fucking group of humans.
00:19:23.000 They're just humans, like all of us.
00:19:25.000 I had dinner with an ex, either FBI, I think it was CIA operative, or FBI, but I'm not sure it was CIA, and he was talking about how it's illegal for him or his coworkers to look up his ex-girlfriend's Gmail.
00:19:37.000 But what he could do is call his contact in France and be like, hey, look up this Gmail for me.
00:19:44.000 And he could look it up for his French girl, for his French buddy.
00:19:48.000 And he was talking about like, oh, this is how corrupt we are.
00:19:50.000 I'm like, you should be in jail.
00:19:53.000 Like, you're using your powers to look up your ex's emails, and you're just talking about, like, oops, I'm on the take?
00:20:00.000 Like, you're evil.
00:20:00.000 That should be a serious crime.
00:20:02.000 It is, though.
00:20:03.000 It's just not enforced.
00:20:04.000 There's no way that's not a serious crime.
00:20:06.000 It's so wild.
00:20:07.000 So when people talk about corruption and, like, oh, you know, it's like Hunter Biden's on the take, that's not the corruption I'm worried about.
00:20:13.000 It's shit like this.
00:20:14.000 They're human beings, and it's not like they're Navy SEALs.
00:20:17.000 Yeah, right.
00:20:17.000 It's not like they have to go through some incredible, like, training process that weeds out all the weak people.
00:20:24.000 It's not that at all.
00:20:25.000 You just get to that spot.
00:20:27.000 You're a bureaucrat.
00:20:28.000 You're a guy who's moving up the ladder.
00:20:30.000 Next thing you know, you're running this thing.
00:20:32.000 And you might be a fucking sociopath.
00:20:34.000 Or you might be a really patriotic guy who's trying to do the right thing inside a system that's imperfect.
00:20:39.000 I think both those things coexist.
00:20:41.000 But also, are you going to fire the good worker just because he's looking at his ex-girlfriend's emails?
00:20:45.000 You're going to be like, no, dude, cut it out.
00:20:46.000 You're not going to make it public.
00:20:48.000 It'll look bad for the agency.
00:20:49.000 You look out for each other.
00:20:50.000 It's kind of that thin blue line thing.
00:20:51.000 Definitely lift up that carpet.
00:20:53.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:20:53.000 Just like, dude, don't do it again.
00:20:55.000 It's like, okay, I'm sorry.
00:20:56.000 It's just really kind of a messed up.
00:20:59.000 Do you want to see what's in the face?
00:21:00.000 Sure.
00:21:00.000 Show me the cake.
00:21:01.000 Well, let's tell you the whole story.
00:21:02.000 Okay.
00:21:03.000 So I'm at home dicking around on Twitter, as I want to do, and I get a like when the verified tab meant something, and I'm like, okay, who is this broad?
00:21:12.000 And I look, and that wasn't the word I used, mind you, but I'm being nice.
00:21:16.000 And I looked and it's this girl, Natalie Sidesurf.
00:21:19.000 She and her husband, they live in Austin.
00:21:20.000 They make these super realistic cakes.
00:21:23.000 So I said to them, I'm going to be on Rogan.
00:21:25.000 We became good friends.
00:21:26.000 We just went to Miami together, whole crew of us, me, Blair White also.
00:21:30.000 And I'm like, make me a cake of your favorite Russian podcaster.
00:21:34.000 So I hope that they got my cheekbones right.
00:21:36.000 Oh boy, here we go.
00:21:43.000 Turn towards me.
00:21:46.000 It's pretty goddamn good.
00:21:48.000 That is Lex in a fucking...
00:21:51.000 That's perfect.
00:21:52.000 I think it's got too much emotion in the eyes.
00:21:54.000 The lips are a little pursed though.
00:21:56.000 It makes up for that.
00:21:57.000 He might be in the middle of saying something important about Dostoevsky.
00:22:00.000 Does this look as insane on camera as it looks in person?
00:22:05.000 It's really good, dude.
00:22:07.000 Holy crap.
00:22:08.000 Yeah.
00:22:09.000 That's really good.
00:22:10.000 So what we're looking at here for the people that are just listening is a fucking amazing bust of Lex Friedman that's actually a cake.
00:22:20.000 Hold on.
00:22:22.000 Yeah, so they did that meme that everything is cake, it's them.
00:22:25.000 Well, they're a really talented band, because that's so good.
00:22:28.000 How does it feel to be number two, if best, at best?
00:22:32.000 What do you mean?
00:22:32.000 Their favorite Russian podcaster.
00:22:34.000 Like, at best, you're number two now.
00:22:35.000 I feel like...
00:22:36.000 Because if that's number one...
00:22:37.000 I feel like...
00:22:38.000 And then Konstantin's probably number two.
00:22:40.000 Oh, Konstantin's got you beat.
00:22:42.000 He's great.
00:22:43.000 Trigonometry, those guys are great.
00:22:44.000 I feel like that Ronnie Dangerfield line, my wife tells me I'm number one, but treats me like I'm number two.
00:22:50.000 Ha ha!
00:22:51.000 Okay, should I cut it?
00:22:53.000 Are we ready to cut it?
00:22:53.000 No, let's cut it later.
00:22:55.000 Come on, more suspense.
00:22:57.000 Damn, she did a good job.
00:22:58.000 Yeah, it's excellent.
00:22:59.000 I don't even want to cut it.
00:23:00.000 I want to let it rot.
00:23:02.000 I don't want to ruin it.
00:23:04.000 Yeah, it's creepy looking.
00:23:04.000 It's like a sand castle that you can eat.
00:23:07.000 You know?
00:23:08.000 It's just temporary.
00:23:11.000 Are you excited?
00:23:11.000 Can we talk about the club?
00:23:12.000 Yeah, sure.
00:23:13.000 Are you excited?
00:23:13.000 Oh, yeah.
00:23:14.000 How long has this been your dream?
00:23:16.000 It wasn't a dream ever.
00:23:18.000 I used to tell comedians, be nice to club owners because you don't want to be one.
00:23:22.000 Because I was like, we need them.
00:23:24.000 Yeah, sure.
00:23:25.000 Comedians have, oftentimes, have an adversarial relationship with people at clubs.
00:23:29.000 I feel like he's watching me.
00:23:30.000 He is.
00:23:31.000 He's judging us.
00:23:32.000 He's always judging me.
00:23:33.000 Zero, zero, zero.
00:23:34.000 And I wanted you to be ones.
00:23:37.000 Joe, why are you such a zero?
00:23:40.000 The relationship that comedians have with clubs is based on the initial feeling that you had from clubs.
00:23:47.000 You have to kind of work through that because in the beginning you're an open mic and you're fucking terrible.
00:23:53.000 And you start getting better and you're trying to get work but they don't want to give you work and they don't really respect you because they remember when you were terrible.
00:24:00.000 And then you have to leave town.
00:24:02.000 And then when you leave town, you're going to clubs and you're not getting paid that much.
00:24:06.000 And sometimes people will kind of screw you over on the ticket prices or something will go wrong.
00:24:11.000 And you got to just be cool about all of it.
00:24:13.000 You got to be as friendly to club owners as you can because you don't want to be one.
00:24:18.000 And you need those people.
00:24:19.000 We need them.
00:24:20.000 We're not going to go open up our own clubs.
00:24:21.000 I would say to these guys, like, just, we have this idea like it's an adversarial relationship with clubs.
00:24:27.000 Like, it's not.
00:24:28.000 We're all working together.
00:24:29.000 Like, you've got to be nice to these folks.
00:24:31.000 Like, no one wants to open a fucking club.
00:24:34.000 And then I came here, I was like, God damn it, I've got to open a club.
00:24:37.000 I was like, we had one place we're working out of, which is like an EDM club, the Vulcan Gas Company, which has been amazing.
00:24:42.000 But it's not really set up for comedy.
00:24:45.000 There's a balcony.
00:24:46.000 It's weird.
00:24:47.000 Some of the seating, like people are staring at a screen.
00:24:50.000 I don't like that part of it.
00:24:51.000 But it's an amazing staff, and it's an amazing set, and the sound's great.
00:24:55.000 It's fun, and it kept us here for like a couple years.
00:24:58.000 But I go, but we need like a full-time comedy club, like the Comedy Store.
00:25:02.000 And so I started looking, and I almost bought one place that was owned by a cult.
00:25:06.000 Oh.
00:25:07.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:08.000 I was actually under contract, and then some issues happened and fell apart, but I didn't know what that meant until Adam Egott said, oh, yeah!
00:25:18.000 He goes, I saw the documentary on them!
00:25:20.000 I go, what?
00:25:21.000 There's a documentary?
00:25:23.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:25:23.000 You know the cult's bad when they make a movie about it.
00:25:25.000 So the documentary's called Holy Hell.
00:25:28.000 And this documentary's about this guy who, he ran a cult in West Hollywood.
00:25:34.000 And he was this guy who, at one point in time, he was a failed actor.
00:25:38.000 And then he was a dancer.
00:25:40.000 And he was this really weird gay guy that was super, super charismatic.
00:25:44.000 And he got all these people to join his cult.
00:25:48.000 And they fled West Hollywood for some reason and came to Austin.
00:25:52.000 And when they got to Austin, they set up this whole commune and he had them build him a theater where he could dance in front of them.
00:26:02.000 Okay.
00:26:03.000 So they built this beautiful theater.
00:26:05.000 But, you know, it's all like the cult members made it.
00:26:08.000 Like, I don't even know if they use general contractors.
00:26:10.000 I don't know.
00:26:11.000 But it was a beautiful place.
00:26:13.000 And so I watched the documentary, and I'm like, oh no, the documentary is so bad.
00:26:17.000 This guy was fucking everyone, right?
00:26:19.000 He was getting money from them, but he was fucking them, and then he would make them pay him, because it was therapy.
00:26:25.000 So he would fuck all the guys, like the straight guys, and they were talking about this.
00:26:30.000 This is what we're talking about, like cults.
00:26:32.000 These are regular folks.
00:26:33.000 Yeah.
00:26:34.000 These guys are so upset that they couldn't believe this is...
00:26:37.000 They thought they had it nailed.
00:26:38.000 They thought they figured life out.
00:26:40.000 They thought they had a group of people and they could all live together.
00:26:43.000 This guy's like the biggest stud in history.
00:26:45.000 Like, if you're getting...
00:26:46.000 Straight guys are paying you to fuck them?
00:26:48.000 You're talented.
00:26:49.000 It's like...
00:26:52.000 Beyond Comprehension the the kind of charisma you need.
00:26:56.000 Yeah, the kind of just Whatever the fuck that is where you can talk someone into things like that.
00:27:03.000 Like what is that?
00:27:04.000 What's the steps?
00:27:06.000 Yeah Which do you broach first the money or the sex?
00:27:11.000 Yeah, how do you justify it?
00:27:13.000 Maybe just keep going, you know?
00:27:15.000 Maybe just keep asking for more.
00:27:16.000 But now I want $50 for that.
00:27:18.000 Yes, okay, here you go.
00:27:19.000 And now I'm gonna fuck you.
00:27:21.000 And now I want a handjob.
00:27:21.000 This is the documentary.
00:27:23.000 See, they always start off looking great.
00:27:26.000 This is the case with Wild, what is it?
00:27:29.000 Wild Wild Country, right?
00:27:31.000 Is that the one?
00:27:32.000 Yeah, Wild Wild Country.
00:27:35.000 And this one's similar.
00:27:37.000 Is this Austin?
00:27:37.000 No, this is probably before they came to Austin.
00:27:42.000 Is that a lake or is that an ocean?
00:27:44.000 See, that was all mountains and shit, so that must be when they were in California.
00:27:47.000 So they were all together in California, and then they fled and came to Austin.
00:27:51.000 I don't remember why.
00:27:52.000 He probably fucked the wrong dude or something.
00:27:53.000 I mean, how are they not- I'm not- So that's the guy.
00:27:55.000 How are they not all getting- This is the guy.
00:27:57.000 Holy crap.
00:27:57.000 This is the guy.
00:27:59.000 So this guy now runs a cult in Hawaii.
00:28:03.000 He fled Austin.
00:28:06.000 He went to Hawaii.
00:28:06.000 So they confront him in Hawaii in the documentary.
00:28:09.000 And this is all the place I'm going to buy, Michael Malice.
00:28:12.000 This is the place where I was setting up my big comedy club.
00:28:14.000 I'm like, oh no, I'm going to have to sage the shit out of this place.
00:28:17.000 I was literally going to bring in exorcists to try to cleanse the room.
00:28:21.000 I'm like, I can't buy this.
00:28:23.000 And then luckily something was wrong and we had like an issue and I got out of the contract.
00:28:28.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:28:30.000 It's a great place, though.
00:28:31.000 Somebody bought it right away, right after I got out of there.
00:28:33.000 How are you going to find The Exorcist?
00:28:34.000 Did you look on Yelp?
00:28:35.000 I was going to, like, figure out a way.
00:28:37.000 I was going to, like, hire a priest or something.
00:28:38.000 I was going to do a bunch of different things like that for fun.
00:28:41.000 Because everyone's going to know, like, the background of that place.
00:28:43.000 If you watch the documentary, you know the background.
00:28:46.000 And can you tell us, are you allowed to say where this place is?
00:28:49.000 Oh yeah, it's on BK's Road.
00:28:51.000 It's called the One World Theater.
00:28:52.000 Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:28:54.000 Somebody bought it, like I said, immediately afterwards.
00:28:56.000 It's a gorgeous place.
00:28:57.000 It's an amazing place to see shows too.
00:29:00.000 It's like great acoustics there.
00:29:01.000 It's really...
00:29:02.000 But the story behind it is this cult.
00:29:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:06.000 Yeah.
00:29:06.000 I mean, even if we worked out all the issues that we had had, it would have been a great comedy club.
00:29:13.000 I mean, it's a beautiful place.
00:29:14.000 It would have required some work.
00:29:15.000 Isn't BK Rove a little out of the way, though?
00:29:17.000 Yeah.
00:29:17.000 Yeah, it's a little out of the way.
00:29:19.000 But it's like...
00:29:20.000 No, no, I'm just asking.
00:29:21.000 Yeah, just to be sure.
00:29:21.000 But everybody's like, oh, I want to stay within, like, three minutes of downtown Austin.
00:29:26.000 Like, come on.
00:29:26.000 It's weird coming from California.
00:29:28.000 Because in California, the Ice House in Pasadena was no problem.
00:29:31.000 Like everybody went out to the Ice House.
00:29:32.000 We had shows there all the time.
00:29:33.000 That's like a 35 minute drive.
00:29:35.000 Yeah.
00:29:36.000 But it was still, it was like normal to go to Irvine.
00:29:39.000 That was normal.
00:29:39.000 Yeah, but it's funny.
00:29:41.000 That's the spot.
00:29:42.000 Oh, that's beautiful.
00:29:42.000 It's gorgeous.
00:29:43.000 They did an amazing job.
00:29:44.000 It looks like it belongs in Epstein's Island, though.
00:29:47.000 It doesn't when you're in it.
00:29:49.000 It's a gorgeous building.
00:29:50.000 I just forgot.
00:29:52.000 That's how much they loved him.
00:29:53.000 They built him this gorgeous building.
00:29:55.000 That's...
00:29:55.000 That's how much they loved him.
00:29:57.000 That's how much they loved him.
00:29:57.000 That's what they were told to do.
00:29:59.000 Yes, but they did it with love.
00:30:00.000 Look how good it is.
00:30:01.000 I mean, come on.
00:30:02.000 That's a beautiful place.
00:30:03.000 How did it go south?
00:30:05.000 I can't really talk about it.
00:30:06.000 It wasn't a giant issue.
00:30:07.000 Not the deal.
00:30:07.000 The club.
00:30:08.000 The cult.
00:30:09.000 The cult.
00:30:13.000 I think it just all fell apart.
00:30:15.000 He's fucking all these guys.
00:30:17.000 Allegedly.
00:30:18.000 They're not all getting STDs?
00:30:20.000 They're not all getting AIDS? I guess he's only fucking them.
00:30:23.000 I guess they're all only interacting with each other.
00:30:26.000 I don't know what's going on.
00:30:27.000 I don't know why they're not.
00:30:28.000 Maybe they did get STDs or they left that part out.
00:30:30.000 I don't know.
00:30:31.000 But I do know that the whole thing, he started getting weird plastic surgery, allegedly.
00:30:38.000 The whole thing is wild.
00:30:39.000 You should watch the documentary.
00:30:41.000 It's on Amazon Prime.
00:30:42.000 It's called Holy Hell.
00:30:43.000 You can watch it and go, oh my god.
00:30:46.000 It's so sad because some of these people at the end of the documentary, like this one lady, now she's like a 50-year-old dog walker.
00:30:52.000 She's like, what the fuck?
00:30:54.000 I just blew 20 years of my life with these people.
00:30:56.000 That was the saddest part about this documentary.
00:30:59.000 When they wake up.
00:31:01.000 People are...
00:31:02.000 It's so important to say over and over again if someone is stuck in that sort of a situation...
00:31:08.000 It's all of us.
00:31:10.000 You can catch the flu, right?
00:31:12.000 You can also catch a mind virus.
00:31:15.000 Being in a cult is like a mind virus.
00:31:17.000 If you grow up believing that a Catholic priest who has been molesting children would never do it because he's a man of God, Guess what?
00:31:26.000 That's the same thing.
00:31:28.000 It's the same mindset.
00:31:30.000 It's just much more organized and much larger.
00:31:33.000 But it's the same sort of mindset that would allow you to think that way.
00:31:36.000 It's the same mindset that allowed these poor fucking people to waste 20 years of their life with this guy who's like a crazy person.
00:31:43.000 I had a friend of mine, a casual friend, who texts me out of nowhere.
00:31:49.000 I talked to her maybe once every few years.
00:31:50.000 And she's like, oh, have you heard of this thing called Landmark?
00:31:53.000 Oh, no.
00:31:55.000 Jesus.
00:31:56.000 And I go, yeah, it's a cult.
00:31:58.000 And she's like, oh, haha, you're so funny.
00:32:00.000 Anyway, I wanted to give you this great opportunity.
00:32:03.000 And she just kept texting me.
00:32:04.000 And it's just like, I don't know what they're...
00:32:07.000 How does she not know you?
00:32:09.000 That's the...
00:32:09.000 Well, because I'd be the big fish.
00:32:11.000 If she could...
00:32:12.000 If it doesn't, she understands.
00:32:14.000 Who is this person?
00:32:14.000 How does she not know you?
00:32:16.000 I've known...
00:32:16.000 She's friends with a couple I mentioned earlier.
00:32:19.000 I've known her friends of friends since for like 20 years.
00:32:22.000 How funny is it when someone's...
00:32:23.000 Their ability to read someone is so off.
00:32:26.000 That they would come to you with some cult proposal.
00:32:29.000 I don't think that's how it works.
00:32:30.000 I think it's more like if you have even the slightest chance, you have to go for it no matter what.
00:32:35.000 And if she came back, I bet you they sit them down and they say, who's the biggest name in your cell phone?
00:32:42.000 And that's going to be your target.
00:32:44.000 That's how it works.
00:32:45.000 You don't want to just grab some bag lady.
00:32:47.000 You want someone who's got some kind of slight cred because then he's bringing his people over.
00:32:52.000 Of course.
00:32:53.000 And then you could be the one, like, oh my god, she brought in, you know, whoever, Rogan, Michael Malice.
00:32:58.000 And if she doesn't understand that she's in a cult...
00:33:02.000 Right.
00:33:03.000 Is Landmark a cult?
00:33:05.000 I don't know anything about it.
00:33:06.000 Yes.
00:33:06.000 What is it?
00:33:07.000 God, I knew this girl many years ago.
00:33:09.000 I don't want to mention her name.
00:33:10.000 And she said to me, we're hanging out, and she goes, I don't need religion because I have Landmark.
00:33:17.000 And I'm like, you're not selling this.
00:33:19.000 You're scaring me.
00:33:21.000 And the point is...
00:33:22.000 That's adorable.
00:33:25.000 I'm going to get sued.
00:33:27.000 Because when you cross these people, forget it.
00:33:28.000 It's game over.
00:33:29.000 But I think you're buying tapes and you're paying to attend meetings.
00:33:33.000 And what is it?
00:33:33.000 Is it a self-improvement thing?
00:33:35.000 Yes.
00:33:35.000 But it's been around since the 70s.
00:33:37.000 What is their self-improvement angle?
00:33:40.000 Is it possible that someone could pull this off and do a good job?
00:33:43.000 What do you mean?
00:33:44.000 Make a good cult.
00:33:45.000 Solid cult.
00:33:46.000 With rules like the country.
00:33:47.000 Like the Bill of Rights.
00:33:48.000 Oh.
00:33:48.000 You know, have a good cult.
00:33:50.000 Put together a good cult.
00:33:51.000 I think that...
00:33:52.000 Oh, God.
00:33:53.000 Redefine what's possible.
00:33:54.000 In your relationships, your work, your family, your communities, what matters most to you.
00:33:58.000 Actually, this sounds good, Lex.
00:34:00.000 I might have to join.
00:34:01.000 It sounds good, Lex.
00:34:04.000 Put it up.
00:34:07.000 No, I'm sorry.
00:34:09.000 Scroll back down.
00:34:10.000 You know what?
00:34:10.000 Hold on, Joe.
00:34:11.000 It worked, because now I'm talking about this shit on Joe Rogan, and she's pulling up the free hand.
00:34:17.000 I'm not showing anybody.
00:34:18.000 They have to look it up themselves.
00:34:19.000 Bring about positive permanent shifts in the quality of your life.
00:34:22.000 Create power, freedom, self-expression, and peace of mind.
00:34:26.000 This sounds good, bro.
00:34:28.000 All this sounds good.
00:34:29.000 What have I done?
00:34:30.000 Malice, what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:34:32.000 More than 94% of participants surveyed reported that Landmarks Forum made a profound and lasting difference in their lives.
00:34:39.000 How about that's good?
00:34:41.000 That's 94%.
00:34:42.000 That's better than the vaccine.
00:34:43.000 The landmark form is designed to bring about positive permanent shifts in the quality of your life in just three days.
00:34:49.000 These shifts are the direct cause for a new and unique kind of freedom and power.
00:34:53.000 The freedom to be at ease and the power to be effective in the areas that matter most to you.
00:34:57.000 The quality of your relationships, the confidence in which you live your life, your personal productivity, your experience, Of the difference you make your enjoyment of life.
00:35:07.000 Those are all positive things, Michael Malice.
00:35:10.000 I can't believe her plan, apparently, to get you to do it at Adrie for Landmark.
00:35:15.000 I don't know what they're doing.
00:35:16.000 Holy crap.
00:35:17.000 Maybe they're doing something that's below that.
00:35:19.000 It's about I want to change the subject as quickly as possible to literally anything else.
00:35:24.000 Is it a thing where it seems negative because the people that get involved in it are all those folks that are just...
00:35:30.000 You know how there's some people that never seem to find an anchor in life.
00:35:35.000 You know, they kind of drift from one way of thinking to another.
00:35:40.000 I think a lot of the ways these organizations work, and it's not necessarily all bad, is that they provide lonely people a sense of community.
00:35:49.000 This is one of the ways AA works, and this is not a knock against AA. If you're someone who's an addict or an alcoholic and you're kind of alone in the gutter, you've got your drinking buddy or your heroin buddy, and now you've got a group of people who share your experiences, have your worldview,
00:36:04.000 you're not alone.
00:36:05.000 It's positive.
00:36:07.000 I know AA gets a lot of knocks.
00:36:08.000 I got a lot of friends who are in recovery.
00:36:10.000 I think it's just done terrifically good things for them.
00:36:14.000 Doesn't work for everybody.
00:36:15.000 Yeah, I know a lot of friends who've had great benefits.
00:36:17.000 Yeah, and that is actually a real benefit.
00:36:19.000 I think you were talking earlier about social media.
00:36:21.000 I think a lot of people tend to be very isolated.
00:36:24.000 There's a lot of lonely people out there, more than even most of us realize.
00:36:28.000 We're social animals.
00:36:30.000 We're hungry to have someone.
00:36:32.000 We want to be seen.
00:36:33.000 We want someone who understands us.
00:36:34.000 We want someone not to feel so alone all the time.
00:36:37.000 And yeah, that's what something like AA provides.
00:36:41.000 Church provides that too.
00:36:42.000 Churches provide that too, yeah.
00:36:43.000 All these like that kind of Sam Harris atheism that religion's all negative and this kind of atheism thing.
00:36:50.000 I'm like, there's a reason people gravitate toward it and it's not all that they've been duped.
00:36:55.000 It does provide a service for a lot of people.
00:36:58.000 Yeah, it definitely provides the agreement that you're all making with each other.
00:37:02.000 You're all kind of making with each other this agreement that you're there to be good persons, good people in the eyes of God.
00:37:09.000 But it's also in the eyes of your community.
00:37:11.000 Yes.
00:37:11.000 But you're making that agreement, right?
00:37:13.000 So that's also in the eyes of your community.
00:37:15.000 You're making an agreement together that you're all going to follow these principles.
00:37:18.000 And you're going to forgive people, and you're going to help people, and you're going to put money together when someone needs something, when something goes wrong with someone in the community.
00:37:25.000 If you have a moral dilemma, you're going to remind yourself, you know what, I should do the right thing, even though it's going to be harder.
00:37:30.000 Yes, but people are famous.
00:37:33.000 It's famous for being very generous to other people that are in their churches.
00:37:37.000 I know of many friends who go to church and they'll talk about how the church raised money because someone had something wrong inside their church and they needed something fixed or something and they help each other out.
00:37:47.000 So it's like you just get this feeling of family when you're part of a community church.
00:37:52.000 It's like you go to see each other on Sunday, you look forward to it, everybody dresses up.
00:37:56.000 It's a net positive.
00:37:58.000 The problem that people have is with the taking of stories that are very, very old as just fact.
00:38:07.000 That's the only problem that people have with it.
00:38:09.000 If you looked at the net positives that come out of religions, other than when they go sideways, Right?
00:38:17.000 Like when they impose their religion on others and go into war.
00:38:20.000 But that's like natural human dominance characteristics that are exhibited through like the guise of religion.
00:38:28.000 The best aspects of religion are just living your life with a purpose.
00:38:34.000 It gives you like a scaffolding to think about like moral values and community values and that there's a higher thing above you which helps dissolve the ego.
00:39:11.000 It helps you be humble.
00:39:12.000 Yeah.
00:39:12.000 There's a lot of that with religion that if you're having fun or if you are happy, and I know I'm going to get pushback on this, you did something wrong along the way, especially this fear of pleasure.
00:39:24.000 Black people win.
00:39:25.000 Black churches are the most fun things of all time.
00:39:29.000 Like, you see Biden at the black church and he's just standing there like he doesn't know how to move.
00:39:33.000 He's just standing there and everybody around him is dancing.
00:39:36.000 They're all having a great fucking time.
00:39:37.000 They know how to do it, dude.
00:39:39.000 They know how to do it.
00:39:41.000 That's actually one of Neil Hamburger's lines that when he tells a joke that bombs, he'll say, would that have been funnier if there's a black choir behind me?
00:39:50.000 And the answer is probably yes.
00:39:52.000 You know who else does it right?
00:39:53.000 Those fucking, the people who speak in tongues.
00:39:56.000 Oh, come on.
00:39:57.000 The snake charmers?
00:39:58.000 You know what that's like?
00:39:58.000 The charismatics?
00:39:59.000 Well, the people that speak in tongues, where they just go off and...
00:40:01.000 You know what that is like?
00:40:04.000 That's like a verbal mosh pit.
00:40:05.000 That's what it's like.
00:40:08.000 And everybody's like, Jesus speaks through him!
00:40:11.000 Jesus speaks through him!
00:40:13.000 There's something about that, too.
00:40:14.000 There's something, like, super entertaining about that old Sam Kennison-style revival church-type preacher.
00:40:21.000 Like, that's a fucking entertaining thing to watch.
00:40:24.000 But it also kind of harkens back to, like, the Greek Bacchanals, where everyone's just drunk and just having orgies and just losing their minds.
00:40:31.000 But it's the same kind of thing.
00:40:33.000 It's like, you believe Jimmy Swaggart because he's led you into his little realm of control, and he's your cult leader.
00:40:41.000 You know, if you believe that guy.
00:40:43.000 If your auntie's like, ah, I've sinned!
00:40:44.000 Remember when he got caught with, like, hookers and...
00:40:47.000 What was it, like, hookers and blow?
00:40:48.000 Is that what it was?
00:40:49.000 Is he the one who's back selling rice and cheesy broccoli?
00:40:53.000 No, that's the other guy.
00:40:54.000 That's Jim Baker.
00:40:54.000 Jim Baker is selling apocalypse food.
00:40:58.000 It's cheesy broccoli.
00:41:01.000 But he had apocalypse food that was like under the table and you would use it as a table instead of showing how you could store it around the house.
00:41:08.000 And instead of like having table legs, you could have all this boxed food under your table.
00:41:13.000 Like it's one of the wildest things you've ever seen in your life.
00:41:17.000 But it's also really funny that like if you guys are in his organization, shouldn't you be the ones getting raptured?
00:41:23.000 Like shouldn't you be like the hundred?
00:41:24.000 Oh God.
00:41:25.000 There he is eating it!
00:41:26.000 Bulk sampler bundle imagine this is the guy that was this now this has a Sam Kinison connection too because he was He had the affair with Jessica Hahn right who is the secretary the hot secretary and Jessica Hahn wound up fucking Sam Kinison and they had I forgot about that Yeah,
00:41:44.000 yeah terrible breakup there talk shit about each other on Howard Stern What do you think of what Howard's become recently?
00:41:51.000 Well, I mean— He's the only person I know who's gone, other than Penn maybe, who's gone from being red-pilled to blue-pilled.
00:41:57.000 Yeah.
00:41:58.000 For people who don't know, let me do a little—because the kids these days don't know.
00:42:02.000 Howard Stern had a guy in his show, Stuttering John, and he would send them out to talk to celebrities, and he would ask them the most fucked-up questions.
00:42:12.000 And this wasn't before— This is before social media.
00:42:13.000 So they usually used to have a bear.
00:42:15.000 You can't just tweet at someone.
00:42:17.000 So when Jennifer Flowers in 92 was announcing that she had an affair with Bill Clinton, people thought he was going to sink his candidacy.
00:42:23.000 He sent his boy there and he asked her, did he use a condom?
00:42:26.000 And then he asked her, are you planning on sleeping with any other presidential candidates?
00:42:31.000 The reporters there were apeshit and they're trying to kick him out.
00:42:34.000 And it's really kind of funny when he had these comedians who had a stick up their ass.
00:42:39.000 I remember he talked to Billy Crystal and Billy Crystal was like, oh, let me have it.
00:42:43.000 And he's like, all right, are you going to be making a sequel to Mr. Saturday Night, like his big bomb?
00:42:47.000 And the look on Billy Crystal's face, just the pure rage, was absolutely hilarious.
00:42:53.000 God.
00:42:53.000 That's hilarious.
00:42:54.000 Yeah, he did some wild shit.
00:42:56.000 And then I guess he had a falling out with Howard.
00:42:59.000 Then he went over to Jay Leno.
00:43:01.000 He was the announcer of the Jay Leno show.
00:43:03.000 So that was a great gig for him.
00:43:05.000 But he was very underrated.
00:43:07.000 He just was willing to...
00:43:08.000 But there was like that...
00:43:09.000 What he had created was...
00:43:12.000 A morning show that you had to listen to.
00:43:15.000 Yes.
00:43:16.000 You would go to work and you'd go, oh my god, did you hear Howard?
00:43:18.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:43:20.000 And he did it every day.
00:43:22.000 And it was a super valuable thing because it didn't exist anywhere else.
00:43:28.000 If we're around today, we have all these social media memes that are hilarious and fucked up.
00:43:34.000 We have Reddit threads that are hilarious.
00:43:38.000 There's a lot of stuff out there where people are being outrageous.
00:43:41.000 But back then there wasn't.
00:43:43.000 Right, it was just Howard.
00:43:43.000 So you had a boring ass fucking job where you're like sitting in a truck all day, delivering packages or whatever it is.
00:43:50.000 And in that morning when you get to work, you're listening to Howard fucking Stern.
00:43:53.000 And he's got some lady who's riding on a vibrator.
00:43:56.000 And she's like, remember he had that thing to do with the Sibian, yeah.
00:44:00.000 He had different gals ride on this thing.
00:44:02.000 No, it was even worse.
00:44:04.000 If people wanted to promote their band, the mom would be controlling it, or the son would be controlling it, the mom would be sitting on it, or like brother and sister, and you're sitting there and you just want to kill yourself.
00:44:14.000 Jesus Christ.
00:44:14.000 Jesus Christ.
00:44:14.000 He just went for it.
00:44:17.000 And he got fined by the FCC. It was a big deal.
00:44:21.000 For saying like lusty lesbians and lust or something like that?
00:44:23.000 It was just nothing.
00:44:24.000 It was during the Bush era.
00:44:26.000 And this was back when the right was trying to censor people.
00:44:29.000 And this is our pivot and our shift again.
00:44:32.000 You know, it's really kind of fascinating.
00:44:34.000 It really is.
00:44:36.000 Like the culture shift between right and left authoritarianism.
00:44:40.000 And now people don't recognize that if you just stopped looking at it in terms of red and blue, look at the actions.
00:44:48.000 Whether it's war, suppression of free speech, pharmacological interventions that are mandatory, whatever the fuck it is, that used to all be associated with the authoritative right, the authoritarian right, and now those things are being embraced by the left.
00:45:04.000 And I just think it's just an ideology thing, and I think we get confused and we think, we're on the right side, we're on the right side, and if it's our side that's saying this, for sure it's the right thing to do, and no one's critically thinking about this.
00:45:17.000 I'm going to play Devil's Advocate because sometimes I feel like we need more of that because have you heard this show called Milf Manor?
00:45:27.000 I have.
00:45:28.000 We played a preview and I'm hoping it is what we thought it was.
00:45:31.000 Oh, I've been watching it.
00:45:32.000 Is it the sons of the ladies?
00:45:34.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:35.000 Okay, of course it is.
00:45:35.000 So you have a group of young dudes.
00:45:38.000 The youngest is 20. Oh!
00:45:41.000 And they're in a house with their own moms.
00:45:44.000 Yeah.
00:45:44.000 And it's like a dating pool.
00:45:45.000 That's the dating pool.
00:45:46.000 Right.
00:45:47.000 And the first episode, they had to feel their sons blindfolded.
00:45:51.000 They had to feel the sons' torsos to guess who their son was.
00:45:53.000 And you're watching this.
00:45:55.000 And these are not, by the way, the women seem kind of classy.
00:45:58.000 They have jobs.
00:45:59.000 They're professionals.
00:46:00.000 They don't look like complete gutter rats.
00:46:03.000 And you're watching and you're like, this is why we need an atom bomb to destroy the world.
00:46:11.000 And I can't not watch.
00:46:13.000 I can't not watch.
00:46:14.000 And you're wondering, like, who's going to end up with...
00:46:16.000 But come on, isn't it fun that that's a real thing?
00:46:19.000 Isn't it fun, if you went back to, like, Wheel of Fortune, and you know what the new game show's going to be like?
00:46:26.000 But you're talking to me, right?
00:46:28.000 I hosted fucking Fear Factor.
00:46:30.000 That's right, yeah.
00:46:31.000 I hosted Fear Factor for six years, dude.
00:46:34.000 Right, that's right.
00:46:34.000 That was the worst thing, yeah.
00:46:35.000 I did, like, I don't know how many episodes we did.
00:46:38.000 It's like 148 episodes or something crazy?
00:46:41.000 Yeah, the worst thing is like, oh no, people are nude and walking down a runway.
00:46:44.000 Yeah.
00:46:44.000 And now it's like, yeah, I'm just dating my, I'm just, my mom's trying to date my bro.
00:46:48.000 I was saying while we were doing it, I was always making fun of it, I go, we're about three seasons away from The Running Man.
00:46:54.000 I go, all we need is one natural disaster.
00:46:56.000 I was always joking about it on set.
00:46:58.000 Because one of the things about Fear Factor, Episodes one through four I did sober.
00:47:03.000 Okay, that's it the whole thing I was high as a kite Every time I did it I was high as a kite It was the only time it was fun because then it became really fun because before that it was like I wish these guys didn't I would get this like pity in me like God I wouldn't want to eat an animal's dick on TV I wish these people like didn't need to get their credit card debt paid so badly that they're I don't want to do this to them.
00:47:26.000 It's not my idea.
00:47:27.000 There was a couple of times where I told them, don't do it.
00:47:29.000 There was only two times in the history of the show where I went to the producers.
00:47:33.000 I'm like, don't do this.
00:47:34.000 What were they?
00:47:34.000 One of them was bull riding.
00:47:36.000 Okay.
00:47:37.000 They were going to have these people ride bulls.
00:47:38.000 Okay.
00:47:39.000 And the fucking stuntmen are incredible.
00:47:42.000 First of all, stuntmen are a different breed of human.
00:47:44.000 Yeah.
00:47:45.000 They're dudes who don't give a fuck if they break an arm.
00:47:48.000 They're fucking men.
00:47:49.000 They're all these, like, choose...
00:47:51.000 One of them, this guy, Perry, he's...
00:47:56.000 He didn't spit his dip out because he was so used to being on sets.
00:48:00.000 He got used to swallowing his dip.
00:48:04.000 Oh my god.
00:48:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:05.000 So he's got dip in his mouth, and instead of spitting the saliva out, he's swallowing it.
00:48:10.000 Is that going to make you sick?
00:48:11.000 Not him!
00:48:12.000 The fuck?
00:48:13.000 He did it all day long!
00:48:15.000 So...
00:48:16.000 All these folks who are the stuntmen are these fucking rugged, they're all like martial artists.
00:48:21.000 They all have fucking broken kneecaps and shit.
00:48:23.000 They're all animals, right?
00:48:25.000 And so their version of like what's dangerous physically is different than my version.
00:48:29.000 I'm like, that's a bull.
00:48:31.000 And so this dude says to me, he goes, don't worry about it, boo, it's just a stunt bull.
00:48:35.000 I go, does the bull know he's a stunt bull?
00:48:36.000 Yeah, what the fuck does that mean?
00:48:37.000 They're less aggressive.
00:48:39.000 Okay.
00:48:39.000 By what measure?
00:48:41.000 By what measure?
00:48:42.000 It's still like 2,000 pounds.
00:48:43.000 Dude, and they're in the cage, right?
00:48:46.000 And they're trying to get out of the cage.
00:48:49.000 I'm like, don't do this.
00:48:51.000 I'm like, don't do this.
00:48:52.000 We just rolled the dice.
00:48:54.000 They rolled the dice.
00:48:54.000 Was everyone okay?
00:48:55.000 Everyone was okay.
00:48:56.000 Luckily, but this one light girl, she was light.
00:49:00.000 She was like 100 pounds.
00:49:01.000 This thing fucking launched her through the air.
00:49:04.000 Yeah, of course.
00:49:04.000 And then kicked backwards and almost hit her head.
00:49:07.000 Oh my God.
00:49:07.000 Like this.
00:49:08.000 Woo!
00:49:09.000 It was terrifying.
00:49:10.000 I mean, she lands on her back.
00:49:11.000 Like, it's rough.
00:49:13.000 I wouldn't have done it.
00:49:14.000 I mean, I would not have done it.
00:49:16.000 And I know there's guys out there that ride bulls, and they know what the fuck they're doing, and they're animals, and I respect it.
00:49:20.000 It's not that I don't think you should do it.
00:49:23.000 Like, I think if you want to do flips on a BMX bike, I want you to do it.
00:49:27.000 Yeah, but be informed of what you're doing, yeah.
00:49:29.000 Learn how to do it.
00:49:30.000 But don't just jump on it for a fucking TV show.
00:49:33.000 What was the other one?
00:49:34.000 The other one was drinking cum.
00:49:36.000 What?
00:49:36.000 They had to drink donkey cum.
00:49:39.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:49:40.000 So here's me, right?
00:49:41.000 Imagine me showing up at work.
00:49:42.000 What do they have to do today?
00:49:43.000 Hi as a kite, right?
00:49:45.000 And they're like, well, we're going to make them play horseshoes to drink donkey cum.
00:49:50.000 I go, what?
00:49:51.000 Donkey urine, too.
00:49:52.000 How do you say cum on corporate TV? Sperm.
00:49:55.000 Sperm you said, okay.
00:49:56.000 I think.
00:49:57.000 Okay.
00:49:58.000 What else could you call it?
00:49:59.000 Semen?
00:49:59.000 I don't know.
00:49:59.000 Yeah, okay.
00:50:00.000 Maybe semen?
00:50:01.000 Okay.
00:50:01.000 Right?
00:50:02.000 What's the technical?
00:50:03.000 Sperm?
00:50:03.000 Juice.
00:50:03.000 Juice is what they call it in the...
00:50:04.000 Donkey juice.
00:50:05.000 Donkey juice.
00:50:06.000 Donkey juice.
00:50:07.000 It's clear what it is.
00:50:08.000 Yeah, bro.
00:50:09.000 What the fuck?
00:50:10.000 How much did they have to drink?
00:50:11.000 A lot.
00:50:12.000 It seems like it'd be hard to get...
00:50:14.000 Like a beer Steinworth.
00:50:14.000 It seems like it'd be hard to get down.
00:50:15.000 So there's a video of it.
00:50:15.000 Oh my god.
00:50:16.000 So they were all twins.
00:50:17.000 It was a twins episode.
00:50:19.000 Twin boys and twin girls.
00:50:20.000 And they drank sperm and urine.
00:50:25.000 I was like, don't do this.
00:50:27.000 But this is the thing.
00:50:28.000 This is what happens when...
00:50:30.000 This is on NBC. I remember.
00:50:32.000 I watched it.
00:50:32.000 So someone from NBC gave this the green light.
00:50:35.000 She's crying.
00:50:37.000 How weird.
00:50:37.000 She looks like Marilyn Manson.
00:50:38.000 Quiet while she's drinking cum.
00:50:40.000 This is horrible.
00:50:41.000 Takes her back to prom night.
00:50:43.000 I remember one episode very vividly because they had to eat bull testicles.
00:50:49.000 That's nothing.
00:50:50.000 That's Rocky Mountain Oysters.
00:50:51.000 It was these huge dudes and this girl's like 100 pounds and she's like, it's not that it's testicles.
00:50:55.000 This is just a lot of food to get down.
00:50:58.000 It's like a pound of food in five minutes.
00:51:00.000 I can't do that.
00:51:01.000 Right.
00:51:01.000 Especially for small people.
00:51:02.000 There was this one guy who had to eat I forget what organ it was.
00:51:08.000 It was like a dried gallbladder or something like that.
00:51:10.000 Okay.
00:51:11.000 Or kidney.
00:51:12.000 And you have a certain amount of time to do it.
00:51:15.000 And if you don't complete it and have it swallowed within that time frame, then you're out.
00:51:19.000 And this guy was like eating it and just saying, this is no problem.
00:51:23.000 No problem at all.
00:51:24.000 And he was kind of joking around and doing it kind of slow.
00:51:27.000 And then as time was going on, I was like, hey man, you only got like three minutes left.
00:51:32.000 And then he starts panicking.
00:51:34.000 And you can't drink water.
00:51:36.000 He's not drinking water, what he's doing.
00:51:37.000 So he's trying to swallow, and he can't.
00:51:39.000 And he gets super frustrated, and at the end of it, he's got a chunk of it.
00:51:42.000 He never swallowed all of it.
00:51:43.000 So he got so upset, he's just fucking screaming and yelling like, Fuck!
00:51:48.000 Fuck!
00:51:49.000 It's like, it's volume.
00:51:50.000 It's a lot of volume.
00:51:51.000 And you're not allowed to drink water.
00:51:53.000 Like, in the beginning, you think you're going to be okay.
00:51:55.000 But then, as time goes on, you're like, oh my god, it's hard to swallow all this shit.
00:51:59.000 You know, you're chewing some fucking kidney, some dried up kidney.
00:52:05.000 Do you ever look back, like, I think a lot of people look back on the Trump presidency, like, did that really happen?
00:52:09.000 Like, do you look back, like, is that my life?
00:52:11.000 Like, for six years, I was that guy.
00:52:12.000 Dude, I look at my life right now.
00:52:20.000 Yeah.
00:52:22.000 Yeah, all of it.
00:52:22.000 Doesn't make any sense.
00:52:23.000 But that's just who I am.
00:52:25.000 I don't know.
00:52:25.000 I don't know what to do.
00:52:26.000 Did they bring it back or try to?
00:52:28.000 Yeah, they did.
00:52:28.000 We brought it back and that was what killed it.
00:52:30.000 It was the donkey cum.
00:52:31.000 Oh, that was the reboot?
00:52:32.000 That was the reboot.
00:52:32.000 Yeah, we did...
00:52:34.000 Feel like it was just too they were going too far It was scaring the shit out of me like the stunts were too extreme They were extreme to the point where I was like hey someone could fucking die Like I know we're pulling this off, but if we don't pull it off Like the bull was in the original episodes and the bull one was like early on in the show and I just think that the producers just like trusted the stunt guys and I just think stunt guys are just so next level tough and they're used to dealing with like stunt people and not just dealing
00:53:05.000 with like Some contestants on a television show.
00:53:08.000 And as time went on, they became much more conservative.
00:53:10.000 Like, they didn't do things like that again.
00:53:12.000 Like, I would say, after that, most of the stunts for the whole rest of the first seasons were, like, reasonable risks.
00:53:19.000 Like, they did a good job of managing that.
00:53:21.000 None of them freaked me out.
00:53:22.000 But the new ones freaked me out.
00:53:24.000 The new ones, they had, like, this helicopter thing, and you got, what was a bungee cord under the helicopter, and you get launched towards the helicopter.
00:53:30.000 I was like...
00:53:31.000 Jesus.
00:53:32.000 Things break.
00:53:34.000 You've got people hanging over a canyon.
00:53:37.000 It was so wild.
00:53:39.000 They were tied to a tree and they had to unlock themselves.
00:53:42.000 And as they unlocked themselves, they hit a thing and they go launching because there's a bungee cord that attaches them to a fucking helicopter that's hanging over a canyon.
00:53:51.000 So they go flying through the air and then bounce down over this canyon.
00:53:56.000 I'm like...
00:53:58.000 Any wrong calculation, any weird wind, any fucking fraying of the ropes, the failure of the metal that's the clasp that holds the bungee cord to the fucking helicopter.
00:54:10.000 I was like, this was terrifying, dude.
00:54:16.000 This terrified the shit out of me.
00:54:18.000 It really did.
00:54:20.000 So as they unlocked themselves, Yeah.
00:54:26.000 I guess they didn't have to hit anything.
00:54:28.000 I think they just, they have to figure out all the keys.
00:54:30.000 So it's a race.
00:54:31.000 You have a whole handful of keys and you can get lucky.
00:54:34.000 You can get lucky and get that key the first time and then she gets launched.
00:54:37.000 Like, look at that.
00:54:37.000 Holy crap.
00:54:38.000 Bro, fuck all that.
00:54:41.000 Just fuck all that.
00:54:43.000 I can't even stand being on top of a tall building.
00:54:46.000 I don't like it either.
00:54:47.000 I get vertigo.
00:54:48.000 We did a lot of tall building stuff too.
00:54:49.000 I'd look over the edge like...
00:54:50.000 I can't handle that shit at all.
00:54:52.000 Even if I'm just hanging out at a party, I'm like, I can't be near the edge.
00:54:54.000 I get vertigo.
00:54:55.000 Yeah, we had people walk across beams that were set between two buildings in downtown LA. But they at least have something attaching them, right?
00:55:01.000 So if they fall, they're fine.
00:55:02.000 Yeah, that's fine.
00:55:03.000 But that was when I first found out about Skid Row.
00:55:06.000 I didn't know about Skid Row.
00:55:07.000 It's real.
00:55:08.000 It's a real street.
00:55:08.000 I didn't know that either.
00:55:09.000 I didn't know how bad it was.
00:55:11.000 It was so bad.
00:55:12.000 It's gotten worse though.
00:55:13.000 Way worse.
00:55:13.000 It's crazy.
00:55:14.000 Way worse.
00:55:14.000 Have you seen those videos?
00:55:15.000 People just do these YouTubes.
00:55:16.000 They just walk on stage.
00:55:17.000 It's just tent after tent after tent.
00:55:19.000 Well, I had that guy from Soft White Underbelly.
00:55:22.000 What's that gentleman's name again?
00:55:24.000 Yeah.
00:55:25.000 We'll pull it up.
00:55:27.000 But he's done a lot of interviews with these people from down there.
00:55:31.000 Have you ever seen Soft White Underbelly on YouTube?
00:55:34.000 It's really good, dude.
00:55:35.000 Really good.
00:55:36.000 He's a really good interviewer.
00:55:38.000 And he interviews all of these people that...
00:55:43.000 Mark Leita.
00:55:44.000 Okay.
00:55:45.000 Sorry, Mark.
00:55:46.000 I have no more room in my brain.
00:55:49.000 My brain's fucked.
00:55:50.000 But this show that he has on YouTube, he interviews pimps and gang members and people who are addicted to heroin.
00:56:01.000 Street hookers, people with schizophrenia.
00:56:03.000 He interviews this inbred family in the hills of West Virginia.
00:56:08.000 Like, the whole family's inbred.
00:56:10.000 It's crazy.
00:56:12.000 The son talks and barks.
00:56:14.000 He just barks like a dog.
00:56:15.000 And you see them.
00:56:17.000 It's so wild.
00:56:18.000 Like that X-Files episode?
00:56:20.000 I'll show it to you because it's so crazy that people don't believe it.
00:56:25.000 This is like our crumb shit.
00:56:27.000 Beyond.
00:56:27.000 Beyond.
00:56:28.000 But he interviews people and he's like really kind and he's very non-judgmental.
00:56:33.000 So he gets people to talk about all kinds of stuff, like how they got into prostitution.
00:56:37.000 What was it like the first time they did drugs?
00:56:39.000 When did they know they were hooked?
00:56:41.000 Oh my god.
00:56:41.000 This is the whole family.
00:56:43.000 Oh my god.
00:56:43.000 Dude, it's crazy.
00:56:44.000 This is Hills Have Eyes.
00:56:45.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:46.000 You hear that guy, the barking?
00:56:48.000 That's the son.
00:56:50.000 He barks.
00:56:54.000 Yeah, let's see some of the video.
00:56:56.000 This is the guy.
00:56:57.000 Look at this.
00:57:01.000 So this is a guy who is like in his probably 50s or 60s.
00:57:08.000 Tell me about your brother.
00:57:16.000 He can't talk, so a question like that, he can't answer.
00:57:21.000 He can say yes to things, like as barks, and he nods his head.
00:57:25.000 But he can understand.
00:57:26.000 He understands some things, but like him saying, tell me about your brother, he probably got uncomfortable, which is why he left, because he can't talk.
00:57:31.000 What's your favorite memory, Ray?
00:57:33.000 Do you remember anything about your life?
00:57:36.000 This is the most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen.
00:57:39.000 Yeah, it's the whole family, too.
00:57:41.000 It's not just this gentleman.
00:57:41.000 Are they just all fucking each other?
00:57:43.000 Well, we went over this before, but it was like more than inbred.
00:57:49.000 It was like inbreds inbreeding.
00:57:51.000 Oh my god.
00:57:52.000 Yeah.
00:57:53.000 Oh my god, look at that guy on the sofa.
00:57:55.000 The whole family's like that.
00:57:56.000 Fuck.
00:57:57.000 Some of them can talk.
00:57:58.000 One of them graduated high school.
00:57:59.000 Give me some volume on this so we can hear this.
00:58:01.000 What are your names?
00:58:15.000 See, that's what he can do.
00:58:16.000 He can nod and yes.
00:58:18.000 You can ask him yes or no questions.
00:58:22.000 Is that Tim Pool?
00:58:24.000 Tim Pool, that was Beanie.
00:58:27.000 Sorry, Tim.
00:58:29.000 It's like when Clark Kent takes his glasses off.
00:58:33.000 You're like, how?
00:58:34.000 Nobody recognizes Superman with those stupid glasses on.
00:58:37.000 I have Tim Pool's Beanie hanging in my house next to Alex Jones' tinfoil hat.
00:58:41.000 So this is, you know, this is just one of his crazy videos.
00:58:44.000 His many, many, many videos.
00:58:47.000 Oh, it even says Inbridge Family, the Whitakers.
00:58:49.000 Yeah.
00:58:50.000 It's...
00:58:50.000 I mean, the channel...
00:58:51.000 36 million views.
00:58:52.000 Holy crap.
00:58:53.000 Yeah.
00:58:54.000 Oh, this is an update.
00:58:55.000 This is the sequel.
00:58:56.000 Yeah, well, there's a different video, too.
00:58:58.000 Yeah, he went back and visited them.
00:59:00.000 He's visited them more than once.
00:59:04.000 He tries to help out, but it's like the community's very protective of them.
00:59:09.000 Oh, good.
00:59:09.000 Okay, I'm glad that they're being not bullied and treated.
00:59:14.000 Well, I think they probably have been a lot.
00:59:15.000 Well, sure, but if the community's looking out for them, that's good.
00:59:18.000 Yeah, when strangers come around, then other people from the community come around and investigate.
00:59:22.000 Okay.
00:59:23.000 So he had that happen.
00:59:24.000 Okay, good.
00:59:24.000 Yeah, so it's good.
00:59:26.000 But Mark is in Skid Row every day, like filming.
00:59:30.000 He pays people and does interviews with them.
00:59:33.000 And he's just sort of documenting some aspects of our society that you don't get a chance to see the humanity in these people.
00:59:45.000 You just see people living on the street and you don't think of them as being like someone's daughter or someone's son or someone's sister or mother.
00:59:56.000 You just think, oh, that's a fucking loser junkie.
00:59:59.000 Look at this loser.
01:00:00.000 Well, I mean, a lot of them are just mentally ill, right?
01:00:02.000 A lot of them are mentally ill.
01:00:03.000 And a lot of them are going to be self-medicating.
01:00:04.000 Some of them are not.
01:00:05.000 They don't seem that mentally ill.
01:00:07.000 What it seems like is they're products of horrible abuse.
01:00:10.000 So this is Los Angeles in 2023. If you drive down the street, it is a fucking dystopian nightmare that you couldn't imagine.
01:00:19.000 The entire sidewalk on both sides is filled with tents.
01:00:25.000 It's just so it's so insane the sheer numbers of homeless That if this was zombies if this was zombies instead of homeless people like people We would be overwhelmed with zombies,
01:00:40.000 but it would be like a zombie you would have to leave but Joe Austin was like this Not that bad.
01:00:46.000 But it was certainly in that direction.
01:00:47.000 It was on that direction.
01:00:48.000 They cleaned a lot of it up, but I've been informed that they didn't clean it up by the lake.
01:00:52.000 I've been informed that if you go by the lake, there's a lot of homeless people.
01:00:56.000 But I remember walking down Cesar Chavez, it was tent after tent after tent.
01:01:00.000 I was with a friend and it was very disturbing.
01:01:02.000 Something happened during the pandemic where it really accelerated.
01:01:07.000 Because of the economic stress that people went under, and I think the mental health stress that a lot of people went under, And, you know, so many people just lost it.
01:01:16.000 And, you know, so many people got fired.
01:01:20.000 I mean, you think about the unprecedented loss of jobs during the lockdown and what kind of an increase that must have had in homelessness.
01:01:27.000 It must be off the charts.
01:01:28.000 Well, I just don't understand the argument for people who think this is something that's like ideal or good or acceptable.
01:01:35.000 You don't have to fix that?
01:01:36.000 Right.
01:01:36.000 Right.
01:01:36.000 Are you guys in the government or not?
01:01:38.000 Are you in charge of everything, including our health?
01:01:41.000 So if you are, why aren't you doing something about that?
01:01:43.000 Especially because the people who are there who are mentally ill, maybe they're drug addicts, they're the victims of violence from the others, too.
01:01:49.000 It's not like it's safe for them or it's ideal for them.
01:01:51.000 So I don't understand.
01:01:52.000 I've never heard a good argument for why this is allowed to happen.
01:01:55.000 Sleeping in cloth houses on the street with a bunch of other mentally ill people.
01:01:59.000 Like, the possibility of dangers off the charts.
01:02:01.000 And it's almost like we have two worlds that are going on simultaneously, right?
01:02:06.000 You have the world that you and I live in, and then you have homeless tent world where it's basically like fucking Mad Max, and no one's doing jack shit about it, and who knows who's running things, and who's fucking who, and who's...
01:02:19.000 Giving people drugs and who's shitting on the sidewalk and it's it's happening in the same city So you've got guys like you that are living great You got a nice place and look at the view and you have your coffee at the local coffee shop and three blocks away is Mad Max and it's it's you're talking about Thousands and thousands of people living like this.
01:02:42.000 It's not a hundred But the question I always ask is whose is benefiting because someone's benefiting from this if it's being allowed to happen Well, my friend Coleon, Coleon Noir.
01:02:51.000 Coleon, he was a lawyer and he was talking to this guy in San Francisco and he was like, what's the problem?
01:02:59.000 It's like, they just don't have any funding to fix this?
01:03:01.000 And the guy said, no, no, no, no.
01:03:03.000 No, the problem is there's a bunch of people that get paid.
01:03:07.000 To work on the homeless situation.
01:03:09.000 Oh, there it is.
01:03:10.000 And they get big salaries.
01:03:11.000 Okay.
01:03:12.000 Big salaries.
01:03:12.000 Six figures.
01:03:13.000 One of them was like $200,000 plus working on homelessness and not doing a very good job of it.
01:03:20.000 I mean, like, what are you doing to fix it?
01:03:23.000 What are you doing to fix it when it's this big?
01:03:25.000 Anybody that says they're working on the home...
01:03:28.000 Well, this is our solution.
01:03:29.000 And you go down Skid Row.
01:03:30.000 They're like, you failed.
01:03:32.000 Like, you guys failed.
01:03:33.000 Like, this is a national...
01:03:34.000 This is like a...
01:03:36.000 It's a national tragedy that this exists in every city.
01:03:41.000 We should be embarrassed by it, and it should be fixed as quickly as possible.
01:03:45.000 One of our number one priorities is not let people camp out in the streets all night long everywhere.
01:03:52.000 Well, it's fixed when there's some kind of big event coming through town.
01:03:54.000 They round them up, they put them somewhere, and then it just reverts to normal.
01:03:57.000 Shuffle them.
01:03:58.000 We have how much to send to Ukraine?
01:04:00.000 We don't have enough to fix this.
01:04:02.000 How did we just develop that money to ship to Ukraine?
01:04:05.000 Because it was imperative.
01:04:06.000 We needed that money.
01:04:07.000 We don't need the money to fix these homeless situations?
01:04:10.000 It was funny.
01:04:11.000 My buddy John, who lives in Burbank, who's one of my closest friends, when the proposition here was on, or the referendum, whatever it was, on the ballot to kind of clean up the...
01:04:20.000 Make it illegal to sleep on the street in a tent.
01:04:22.000 And he's like, I don't believe it.
01:04:24.000 Like, where are they going to put all these people?
01:04:26.000 And I go, I don't care.
01:04:28.000 Like, the point is, house them somewhere.
01:04:29.000 They don't have to have primetime real estate.
01:04:32.000 But this isn't good for them.
01:04:33.000 This isn't good for anybody.
01:04:34.000 It's not good for anybody.
01:04:35.000 But the thing about the housing them is, in many situations, what happens is they make them be clean.
01:04:40.000 So if you want to stay in this situation, you have to be clean.
01:04:45.000 Yeah.
01:04:48.000 They had this one area outside of Brentwood, had something to do with some veterans park or something like that, where they allowed people to camp.
01:04:58.000 They'd come up with a solution.
01:05:00.000 We're going to allow you to camp out in this one area.
01:05:02.000 We're going to provide you with these places to sleep, but you have to be clean.
01:05:07.000 And so you know what happened?
01:05:08.000 People put tents just on the other side of the fence.
01:05:14.000 And so they got all the benefits of being right there, but they can still do drugs.
01:05:17.000 They got all their community.
01:05:19.000 Everyone's right there.
01:05:20.000 You're free to come and go.
01:05:21.000 Walk in and out as you want.
01:05:23.000 You just can't sleep there.
01:05:26.000 There's something else I want to talk to you about.
01:05:28.000 I'm glad I remembered it.
01:05:29.000 Did you hear, and I want to hear your thoughts on it, that my second favorite politician, I forget the guy's name, I'm so sorry, he introduced a bill in the state legislature for Texas to become an independent country.
01:05:44.000 That's, you know, that was like, we're like the last state to give in, right?
01:05:49.000 Texas was?
01:05:50.000 I think if you go back and look at Texas's original, what it really originally was, it was like a republic.
01:05:56.000 Right, the Republic of Texas.
01:05:57.000 Yeah.
01:05:57.000 And there's still a house where the ambassador owned.
01:05:59.000 What year did it become a state?
01:06:01.000 Oh, I don't know.
01:06:01.000 It's got to be like 1830s or 40s, I would guess?
01:06:05.000 I think there was a lot of people that were super skeptical about joining the union.
01:06:09.000 Oh, okay, not too shabby.
01:06:11.000 1845. Yeah.
01:06:13.000 The 28th state.
01:06:14.000 For nine years it was its own country.
01:06:17.000 That's so crazy.
01:06:19.000 That's so crazy.
01:06:20.000 I mean, what's your thoughts on that?
01:06:22.000 I think it's a stupid idea.
01:06:24.000 Why?
01:06:24.000 I'm all for it.
01:06:25.000 You're all for us becoming another country?
01:06:27.000 Oh, yeah.
01:06:27.000 And then we get invaded.
01:06:28.000 Why?
01:06:28.000 By who?
01:06:29.000 By the rest of the country.
01:06:30.000 You don't want to be apart from all these maniacs.
01:06:33.000 You don't want to be in another country than people that live in Oklahoma.
01:06:37.000 Listen, they hate each other enough about football.
01:06:39.000 Do you know how bad they'd hate each other if Texas was another country?
01:06:43.000 You needed a passport to get in?
01:06:45.000 There's lots of countries I hate right now.
01:06:47.000 I'm not interested in invading them.
01:06:48.000 Well, look at Ukraine and look at Russia.
01:06:51.000 Right.
01:06:51.000 Right next to each other.
01:06:53.000 You don't think that there's a possibility in the future, like maybe a hundred years from now, if Texas becomes a country that like New Mexico doesn't just invade us?
01:07:01.000 Wait, but the concern is that right now Washington's gonna invade us.
01:07:06.000 Right now?
01:07:07.000 Yes.
01:07:08.000 If we stay?
01:07:09.000 Yes.
01:07:10.000 In what way?
01:07:11.000 Meaning if Texas or Florida or any of these other states becomes too defiant, or if it's the other way around, if you have a Republican administration and some leftist state decides to be like, we're not going to be enforcing borders or immigration rules, someone might send in the feds.
01:07:26.000 And they talk about it all.
01:07:27.000 In fact, just Governor Abbott had to stand up to Biden and make this bill, or I don't remember what it exactly was, but just insisting the National Guard's answer to him and not to the president.
01:07:39.000 I know this is a bill in New Hampshire as well, I think, called Save the Guard.
01:07:42.000 Well, that's why states' rights are important.
01:07:45.000 Yeah, but it's a lot easier to not have to worry about D.C. than to expect D.C. to lessen their power.
01:07:57.000 Yeah.
01:07:57.000 I don't know, man.
01:07:58.000 I think we should be moving towards a better country.
01:08:03.000 Yeah, that's what the Republic of Texas would be.
01:08:06.000 But I think together, collectively.
01:08:08.000 Yeah, us Texans.
01:08:09.000 You're hilarious.
01:08:10.000 It's true.
01:08:11.000 I could not be more for this.
01:08:12.000 I don't want to have a passport if I need to go to Philly.
01:08:15.000 So don't go to Philly.
01:08:16.000 I'm going to Philly.
01:08:17.000 But you have a passport.
01:08:17.000 I do shows.
01:08:18.000 You have a passport.
01:08:19.000 Yeah, but I don't want to use that every time I fly to fucking New Hampshire.
01:08:22.000 That's stupid.
01:08:23.000 Well, you have to show ID anyway at the airport.
01:08:25.000 I like America, being America.
01:08:26.000 I think we just need to figure out why we're in these ideological rifts that are so fucking polarizing and rabid.
01:08:33.000 I think we need to figure that out.
01:08:35.000 I think that's possible.
01:08:36.000 Just like I think the hippie movement came out of nowhere in the 50s.
01:08:39.000 I think there's like a radical, rational, centrist movement that could come about today.
01:08:43.000 I really do.
01:08:45.000 I think there's enough people like you and I that just think, this is bananas, this subscribing to one predetermined pattern of behavior and fucking rules of thought, and the other one is like polar opposite of it, and you could switch, but you can only switch once.
01:09:00.000 Well, yeah, that's perfect.
01:09:01.000 So you have Texas, and you have, I don't give a fuck, and you could have your choice.
01:09:08.000 Do you think this is impossible that's going to happen?
01:09:10.000 No.
01:09:10.000 No, I don't think it's impossible.
01:09:12.000 I think if something really horrible happened, it could happen.
01:09:14.000 Yeah.
01:09:15.000 Something went down.
01:09:16.000 I'm thinking of Nigel Farage when he was on the floor of the EU when Brexit was executed, and he said, when I came here 17 years ago, you all laughed at me.
01:09:26.000 You're not laughing now, are you?
01:09:29.000 17 years from now, you could be correct.
01:09:31.000 Yeah.
01:09:31.000 It's on the—it's officially part of the Texas Republican state—their bill.
01:09:38.000 There's a bunch of things— Platform, excuse me.
01:09:40.000 With all due respect for Texans.
01:09:42.000 There's a bunch of things that I don't know if you give Texans the right to vote on.
01:09:47.000 Oh, I don't know that we're going to be a democracy once Texas becomes free.
01:09:50.000 There's some wild people living in the state.
01:09:53.000 Women's suffrage is going to be a question.
01:09:55.000 No, I don't think that'll be a problem.
01:09:57.000 I mean, Ann Richardson was the governor.
01:09:59.000 Ann Richardson, yeah, but that was over 20 years ago.
01:10:01.000 She was a different kind of Democrat, though.
01:10:03.000 She wasn't.
01:10:04.000 Yeah, she was.
01:10:05.000 How?
01:10:05.000 She was different than the ones you get today.
01:10:07.000 It was like pre-woke.
01:10:08.000 Oh, that's true.
01:10:08.000 Yeah, yeah, that's true.
01:10:09.000 She was different than today.
01:10:09.000 Pre-woke Democrat.
01:10:10.000 Yeah, she was a sassy broad.
01:10:11.000 Yeah, and she was like a strong woman.
01:10:13.000 Like, she was, you know, you can't be like a wimp.
01:10:16.000 Yeah, but she got her ass handed to her by George W. Bush.
01:10:19.000 Eh.
01:10:20.000 George W. Bush back then was not bad.
01:10:22.000 There's a misconception.
01:10:23.000 If you go and listen to George W. Bush's speeches when he was running for governor, and then look at when, I don't know what decline, what happened to him, but something happened to his ability to speak well.
01:10:35.000 Yes.
01:10:36.000 People forget this.
01:10:37.000 In 2000, he debated Al Gore, who was a senator for many years, very articulate, very bright man, and he won or at least held his own in those debates.
01:10:45.000 Four years later with John Kerry, he wasn't speaking complete sentences.
01:10:49.000 Poland.
01:10:50.000 Do you think that he ran a ruse on us?
01:10:53.000 A ruse?
01:10:54.000 This guy ran a ruse on us?
01:10:56.000 This man ran a hustle upon us.
01:11:00.000 Do you think that maybe that's what he did?
01:11:03.000 How so?
01:11:04.000 Maybe he just played dumb.
01:11:06.000 I'm going to hand this fucking torch over to Chaney.
01:11:09.000 I'm going to be over here painting.
01:11:11.000 I think he's clearly a lot smarter than he let on.
01:11:14.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
01:11:15.000 And he leaned into this kind of good old boy crap.
01:11:18.000 Like Larry the Cable guy.
01:11:20.000 Yeah.
01:11:20.000 That kind of deal.
01:11:22.000 Yeah, but I don't know.
01:11:24.000 I'm just very excited.
01:11:25.000 Larry's name is Dan.
01:11:26.000 Is it really?
01:11:27.000 Yeah, he's a hilarious comic.
01:11:28.000 Dan Whitney.
01:11:28.000 He follows me on Twitter.
01:11:30.000 Larry's a great guy.
01:11:31.000 It's a character.
01:11:32.000 It's a character and he's a funny joke writer.
01:11:34.000 He's a funny guy.
01:11:36.000 He's got some good jokes.
01:11:37.000 I'm sitting here.
01:11:38.000 I got Alex yesterday to endorse the idea.
01:11:41.000 You have an idea of leaving Texas?
01:11:43.000 No, of leaving Texas.
01:11:45.000 Texas Reassuring Sovereignty, yeah.
01:11:46.000 And I think it's going to happen.
01:11:47.000 And here's the other reason why I think it's going to happen.
01:11:48.000 You can talk a lot of people into it.
01:11:49.000 If it was 2014, and I came into this room, and I said, which is more likely?
01:11:56.000 Texas is going to declare its independence, or Donald Trump's going to be our next president?
01:12:00.000 Everyone listening to this would put their money on Texas, and they'd be right to do it.
01:12:04.000 Um...
01:12:06.000 I don't know.
01:12:06.000 When Trump ran for president, I joked about it on my Netflix special in 2016 before the election.
01:12:14.000 People were laughing at the idea.
01:12:16.000 I'm like, he can win.
01:12:17.000 Yeah, of course.
01:12:18.000 And he can.
01:12:19.000 This is the other thing that drives me crazy.
01:12:21.000 Either nominee can win.
01:12:23.000 The idea that Kamala Harris can't win or Biden can't win or Trump can't win, you're crazy.
01:12:27.000 If you have one of the two parties behind you, you have a fighting chance, period.
01:12:31.000 Yeah, I was saying that I hoped Hillary can win.
01:12:33.000 I hoped Hillary won because I wanted them to have a woman president so they can say, oh, women suck at this too.
01:12:40.000 Everybody sucks at that job.
01:12:43.000 No woman's going to do a great job.
01:12:44.000 No man's going to do a great job.
01:12:46.000 They all suck.
01:12:46.000 Julia Louis-Dreyfus was tweeting about how, like, oh, democracy's great.
01:12:49.000 You should go out and vote.
01:12:50.000 And I just replied to her.
01:12:51.000 I go, you won several Emmys for showing for years that politicians are sociopaths.
01:12:58.000 That was your character.
01:12:59.000 She blocked me instantly.
01:13:00.000 Isn't that amazing?
01:13:00.000 Yeah.
01:13:01.000 Isn't that amazing?
01:13:02.000 No, that's only the character.
01:13:03.000 Yeah, it's not real life.
01:13:05.000 It's real life.
01:13:05.000 Everyone's kind, and they look out for the average person.
01:13:09.000 Yeah, and people just fucking hang themselves 30 miles from their home, shoot themselves in the chest, and they find no weapon, but they declare it a suicide.
01:13:18.000 Whatever, whatever.
01:13:19.000 Are you...
01:13:20.000 Whatever, whatever, Michael.
01:13:21.000 Are you white-pilled or black-pilled about the future of this country?
01:13:24.000 Oh, I'm okay.
01:13:25.000 I'm okay?
01:13:26.000 What does that mean?
01:13:26.000 I'm okay.
01:13:27.000 I'm like a gray.
01:13:28.000 What does that mean?
01:13:28.000 I'm like a...
01:13:29.000 I don't like it now, but I think we'll have sunnier days.
01:13:32.000 Yeah, that's white-pilled.
01:13:32.000 You know, it's gray.
01:13:33.000 Yeah, that's not gray.
01:13:34.000 It's white-pilled.
01:13:34.000 I'm gray.
01:13:35.000 It's not black, and it's not white.
01:13:37.000 The white pills hope.
01:13:39.000 Yeah, but I'm not totally hopeful.
01:13:41.000 Okay.
01:13:42.000 The reality of human life is that we're subject to a host of uncontrollable natural disasters that are imminent.
01:13:49.000 Yes.
01:13:49.000 They're going to happen.
01:13:50.000 Yes.
01:13:51.000 Yellowstone's going to blow, we're going to get hit by an asteroid, and we might nuke ourselves too.
01:13:55.000 Sure.
01:13:55.000 Like, all that stuff is real too.
01:13:57.000 So that's all on the table.
01:13:58.000 And also, I've talked to enough people that...
01:14:07.000 They're really educated in the history of ancient cultures and ancient civilizations, and the evidence of natural disasters wiping people out and people having to start from scratch, it seems like we're a part of this giant never-ending cycle of getting knocked back into the Stone Age and then rebuilding to a new version of complex society.
01:14:28.000 I think we're on a version of that now, but I think there's been many versions of that.
01:14:32.000 I think that that's also on the table for us.
01:14:35.000 But I think it'd be a lot easier for us to bounce back than someone 2,000 years ago with our technology and our ability to...
01:14:40.000 No?
01:14:41.000 No.
01:14:42.000 No.
01:14:42.000 Not at all.
01:14:43.000 Not at all.
01:14:43.000 Because when it hits, first of all, very few people survive and everything goes to shit.
01:14:47.000 There's no electricity, no generators work, there's no one pumping oil.
01:14:51.000 No one knows how to make a generator.
01:14:53.000 No one knows how to make a cell phone.
01:14:55.000 So all that technology is lost.
01:14:56.000 Well, the Jim Baker people do.
01:14:57.000 But what would this be?
01:14:59.000 Other than a meteor hitting the earth, what would cost this?
01:15:02.000 Supervolcano would kill almost all of us.
01:15:04.000 The Yellowstone Supervolcano, it's a caldera volcano.
01:15:08.000 They didn't realize that it was so big until somewhere in the 2000s, I think it was, they did satellite imagery and they realized, oh my god.
01:15:17.000 That's the caldera of a volcano, like this Yellowstone thing.
01:15:21.000 We thought it was just this crazy place with hot springs.
01:15:24.000 Like, no, that's a super volcano that is a continent killer.
01:15:28.000 And it blows every six to eight hundred thousand years, and everyone dies.
01:15:33.000 Like, the whole fucking country dies.
01:15:35.000 And it happens every six to eight hundred thousand years, and the last time it happened was like six hundred thousand years ago.
01:15:40.000 See, that's another reason Texas should be its own country.
01:15:42.000 Well, we'll get hit.
01:15:44.000 We'll get hit.
01:15:45.000 We're all gonna die.
01:15:46.000 If that happens, we're fucked.
01:15:47.000 Like, maybe people in New Zealand will live and those folks will be the new people.
01:15:51.000 You know, it's happened before.
01:15:53.000 Was it Toba?
01:15:54.000 Was that what it was?
01:15:55.000 Yeah, in Indonesia?
01:15:57.000 There was a Toba volcano in Indonesia 70,000 years ago that I think knocked the human race down to a few thousand people.
01:16:04.000 Holy shit, really?
01:16:05.000 Yeah.
01:16:05.000 Okay.
01:16:05.000 These things happen, man, and they happen with regularity.
01:16:08.000 If you look at the timeline of the Earth, They happen all the time.
01:16:14.000 It's just, when?
01:16:16.000 Is it going to happen now, or is it going to happen a thousand years from now when we have enough technology to mitigate its effects in some way?
01:16:23.000 But when it happens, you get nuclear winter, everything dies, no crops, the sun doesn't get through.
01:16:29.000 The skies are filled with ash.
01:16:31.000 There's no food.
01:16:33.000 You can't really live your life with concern about something like that happening.
01:16:37.000 I'm not living my life with concern.
01:16:38.000 I'm saying that's also on the table.
01:16:40.000 Sure.
01:16:40.000 So that's why I'm gray.
01:16:41.000 Okay.
01:16:42.000 Get it?
01:16:42.000 Because I'm like, yeah, hopefully it's going to be great, but maybe not.
01:16:47.000 And for all of us, the end is going to suck.
01:16:50.000 I'm glad to hear you're more concerned, as I am, if I had to choose, between natural disaster or, like, you know, we're all going to end up killing each other.
01:17:01.000 I'm concerned with both, but I'm always concerned with things that people are dismissive of or that they don't think of as a threat.
01:17:09.000 Because that's when they hit you.
01:17:11.000 When something like nobody, like people who lived in Pompeii, they're like, that volcano?
01:17:15.000 Don't worry about it.
01:17:15.000 We're good.
01:17:16.000 Until you have to worry about it.
01:17:17.000 Until, you know, they just didn't understand.
01:17:19.000 Like, you're in a terrible spot to put a city.
01:17:22.000 Like, if that thing goes, and it goes all the time, it just doesn't go within your lifetime, so you don't understand.
01:17:27.000 Like, you're dealing with an ant's timeline.
01:17:30.000 You know, an ant to us, an ant lives for a fucking few days.
01:17:33.000 They're gone.
01:17:34.000 We live a hundred years if we're lucky.
01:17:37.000 Volcanoes are hundreds of thousands of years of activity.
01:17:42.000 And they go on these long cycles, some of them, these super volcanoes, and they just fucking blow, and you never know when it's going to happen.
01:17:48.000 And they create fucking islands in the middle of the ocean.
01:17:52.000 That's what Hawaii is.
01:17:53.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:17:53.000 It's a fucking volcano that sprung out of the ocean.
01:17:56.000 And now you go vacation there and put fucking suntanial ocean on, sit out there and have margaritas.
01:18:01.000 You're on a volcano.
01:18:03.000 You're on the creative and destructive force of the earth, the thing that makes mountains, and you're camping out on it.
01:18:11.000 And that's our life.
01:18:12.000 That's the reality of living on Earth.
01:18:14.000 This is not stable.
01:18:15.000 That's why all these nutty people that are talking about climate change is going to kill us and it's going to kill us.
01:18:20.000 It's not good.
01:18:21.000 It's not good that we're polluting.
01:18:23.000 It's not good that we have a net negative effect on the atmosphere.
01:18:26.000 But also, there's so many other things to be concerned with.
01:18:31.000 We have zero solution to super volcanoes.
01:18:34.000 We have zero solution to asteroid impacts.
01:18:37.000 We have zero solution to things that have wiped out.
01:18:39.000 We know they killed off the dinosaurs.
01:18:41.000 Right, right.
01:18:42.000 We know it.
01:18:44.000 They fucking find the crater in the Yucatan.
01:18:46.000 They find craters all over the place.
01:18:48.000 They found a big one in Greenland or in Iceland.
01:18:50.000 Isn't there one in Siberia or somewhere?
01:18:52.000 Oh yeah, the Tunguska one.
01:18:53.000 Yeah, yeah, that's the one, yeah.
01:18:54.000 That's the one that they think happened during the time where Earth passes through this meteor shower.
01:19:00.000 There's a comet shower?
01:19:02.000 How do they refer to it?
01:19:03.000 I think it's every November and every June, we pass through this thing.
01:19:09.000 And most of the time, it just gives you meteor showers in the sky.
01:19:12.000 You see people get excited about that.
01:19:15.000 You can kind of predict when that happens.
01:19:16.000 Well, that's why they know that it's going to happen, because it happens during these times we go through this meteor shower.
01:19:25.000 That is what happened in Tunguska in the early 1900s because it happened during that timeline.
01:19:31.000 So whatever this thing was, it didn't even make impact with the ground.
01:19:34.000 It detonated in the sky and it killed like a million acres or some crazy shit of trees.
01:19:41.000 How much did...
01:19:42.000 I know I exaggerated that number.
01:19:43.000 How much did...
01:19:44.000 I think I did.
01:19:45.000 How much did Tunguska destroy?
01:19:47.000 No, but it was like some kind of crazy bomb equivalent.
01:19:49.000 Like a bomb.
01:19:49.000 Yeah.
01:19:50.000 Well, that's what they think happened to Earth around 11,800 years ago.
01:19:54.000 That's the Younger Dryas impact theory.
01:19:56.000 It's during the same timeline.
01:19:59.000 12 megaton explosion.
01:20:01.000 Jeez Louise.
01:20:03.000 Holy shit, look at that picture.
01:20:05.000 And to this day, there's no trees there.
01:20:07.000 Seriously?
01:20:07.000 Yes, to this day.
01:20:08.000 Why?
01:20:08.000 Because it's fucking nuked.
01:20:11.000 I don't know, man.
01:20:12.000 Is it radioactive, like literally?
01:20:13.000 It just blew it out, man.
01:20:15.000 I don't know.
01:20:16.000 It just blew out whatever fucking it did to that area.
01:20:21.000 That soil sucks.
01:20:24.000 Holy crap.
01:20:24.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:20:26.000 1908. That wasn't that long ago.
01:20:27.000 So they think that's also what happened at the end of the Ice Age.
01:20:30.000 They think that the Earth and, you know, North America's ice caps got smashed by comets.
01:20:36.000 And that's what caused, like, the Great Lakes.
01:20:39.000 And that's what caused, like, this mass erosion, topographical details in the Earth that lead out to the ocean, like these enormous fucking floods.
01:20:49.000 And that's probably Noah's Ark Flood.
01:20:52.000 It probably knocked human beings back into the fucking Stone Age again.
01:20:56.000 So our idea of civilization propping up or emerging around 6,000 years ago, which they used to think, these guys are saying it's probably way earlier than that.
01:21:05.000 It's probably 20,000 years.
01:21:07.000 And that explains the pyramids.
01:21:09.000 That explains these incredibly complex geometric structures they built in Africa.
01:21:15.000 Who knows how many thousand years ago?
01:21:17.000 How the fuck did they do it?
01:21:18.000 No one knows.
01:21:19.000 No one has any good ideas.
01:21:21.000 All the ideas suck.
01:21:22.000 All of them are, like, ridiculous.
01:21:24.000 And the structures are insane.
01:21:26.000 Like, who did that?
01:21:27.000 When did they do it?
01:21:28.000 So, you know, they think somewhere around 2,500 years B.C. But these guys are saying, you can't carbon date stone.
01:21:36.000 This is all guesswork.
01:21:37.000 And it's really possible that it could be way earlier than that.
01:21:41.000 You don't mean, like, the Great Pyramid.
01:21:42.000 Yes!
01:21:43.000 They know who built the Great Pyramid, don't they?
01:21:44.000 No, they don't.
01:21:45.000 No, they definitely don't.
01:21:47.000 Archaeologists have attributed it to certain pharaohs, but there's a lot of problems with that.
01:21:52.000 First of all, the Great Pyramids, they said they think they're tombs, right?
01:21:56.000 But there's no evidence of their tombs.
01:21:57.000 They've never found pharaohs in them or anything.
01:22:00.000 They have burial chambers.
01:22:01.000 No, no, no.
01:22:02.000 Those are different areas.
01:22:03.000 That's not the pyramids.
01:22:04.000 Not the pyramids themselves.
01:22:05.000 The pyramids are so massive.
01:22:07.000 There's 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid.
01:22:10.000 The Great Pyramid was the tallest building on Earth until 1860, I think.
01:22:13.000 It was something crazy like that, yeah.
01:22:15.000 There's stones that were cut from a quarry that was 500 miles away.
01:22:18.000 Like they have no idea how they did that.
01:22:20.000 No idea how they moved them.
01:22:22.000 No idea how they got them through the mountains.
01:22:23.000 They cut obelisks that were like thousands of tons.
01:22:27.000 They moved them through the mountains and got them hundreds of miles away.
01:22:32.000 They have no idea how they did that.
01:22:33.000 They were probably very sophisticated.
01:22:37.000 But in a different way than us.
01:22:38.000 They probably had technology that we haven't figured out yet because we went to combustion engines and electricity and that's how we figured out how to use human creativity and constantly innovating and created technology that went in this way.
01:22:52.000 But it's really possible that another culture 20,000 years ago or whatever had figured out a way to innovate the way we have with combustion engines and electronics but in a completely different way.
01:23:04.000 I don't know what they would use, I don't know how they did it, but if you imagine human beings going from the Roman Empire 2,000 years ago to what we enjoy today, that's a tiny blip in time when you're talking about 20,000, 30,000 years.
01:23:19.000 If these people figured out some form of technology Some form of technology that we still haven't figured out yet.
01:23:26.000 It's totally possible that that could be the case.
01:23:29.000 And if that's the case, they got hit.
01:23:31.000 They got BOOM! BOOM! Comets slammed into the earth.
01:23:36.000 A giant percentage of the population died.
01:23:38.000 The people that survived clawed and scraped for generations, and they lived like barbarians, and they forgot everything.
01:23:45.000 And then they rebuilt, or moved into the pyramids.
01:23:50.000 To your point, the Sphinx, which is obviously one of the most amazing structures of the ancient world, the Egyptians don't talk about it.
01:23:56.000 It's just there.
01:23:57.000 They don't know when it was built or why.
01:23:59.000 And it's just odd that you imagine talking about New York and never mentioning the Statue of Liberty in your literature.
01:24:05.000 It doesn't make sense.
01:24:06.000 So that I know they don't have any kind of good explanation for.
01:24:08.000 I'm glad you brought that up.
01:24:09.000 And it was buried for a long time.
01:24:10.000 The Sphinx was not buried for a long time.
01:24:13.000 It was buried up to its neck.
01:24:15.000 The Sphinx also has an African face, and it's smaller than the shape of the rest of the body.
01:24:21.000 It's not in proportion, and it's much newer.
01:24:24.000 It doesn't have the erosion.
01:24:25.000 So they think that during the time when the pharaohs ran Egypt, that they might have...
01:24:32.000 Redone that in the shape of, I forget which pharaoh they're attributed to, but there's some controversy about that.
01:24:38.000 But here's why it's interesting that you brought up the Sphinx.
01:24:41.000 Because the Temple of the Sphinx is the best evidence that it's older than people think it is.
01:24:46.000 Because the Temple of the Sphinx is a guy named Dr. Robert Chalk.
01:24:48.000 What do you mean the Temple of the Sphinx?
01:24:50.000 The temple that's around the Sphinx, the area where the Sphinx is carved out of.
01:24:54.000 So the stones that they cut out of this area to make this ground, there's this flat wall that has a bunch of different kinds of stone in it.
01:25:05.000 And some of it is more dense and harder, and the other stuff is more porous, and it gets eroded quicker.
01:25:12.000 So there's all this evidence of thousands of years of rainfall on these walls.
01:25:18.000 And there's a guy named Dr. Robert Schalk, who's a geologist from Boston University.
01:25:22.000 And he measured it, and he went there and looked at it and examined it, just from the terms of like, as a geologist, not as a historian.
01:25:31.000 Because it fucks with the timeline.
01:25:33.000 Because the last time there was rain in the Nile Valley was like 9,000 years ago.
01:25:38.000 So it had to be thousands of years older than that because it has erosion from thousands of years of rainfall.
01:25:44.000 Because the Nile Valley used to be...
01:25:47.000 That's what it was when they first found it, right?
01:25:49.000 That was like in the olden days.
01:25:51.000 But look at how small the face is compared to the rest of the body.
01:25:55.000 They think it might have actually been a lion originally, and one of the pharaohs decided to have his face cut.
01:26:01.000 That's why the face is noticeably less eroded than the rest of it.
01:26:04.000 But you see the walls on the outside?
01:26:06.000 See, that's the temple.
01:26:07.000 And those lines, those fissures, according to Dr. Robert Schock, he says those lines are a clear sign of water erosion.
01:26:17.000 He's like, you don't get that kind of erosion from sand and wind.
01:26:21.000 He goes, there's like videos that describe it in cartoon form or in illustration form or images.
01:26:28.000 But those type of fissures are only created with erosion from water, from thousands of years of rainfall.
01:26:35.000 The problem with that is they think that that's 2500 BC. So what he's saying is, no, it's thousands and thousands of years older than that.
01:26:44.000 And we don't know who did it.
01:26:45.000 We don't know what happened.
01:26:47.000 You're just looking at structures.
01:26:49.000 You're just guessing.
01:26:50.000 I mean, they're educated guesses, but when people come along with opposing information or opposing ideas and theories about how it all went down, the archaeologists that have been teaching their version of ancient history They're very rigid,
01:27:09.000 and they don't want to accept, like, new ideas.
01:27:11.000 They call them racist, or they'll call them...
01:27:12.000 Racist?
01:27:13.000 Yeah, oh, they call Graham Hancock racist for talking about this.
01:27:16.000 For what?
01:27:16.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:27:17.000 It's just they just throw that word at it, like, as if somehow or another re-date...
01:27:21.000 First of all, even if it's, like, 20,000 years ago, it's Africans.
01:27:26.000 Africans made the pyramids, 100%.
01:27:28.000 You know how I know?
01:27:30.000 How?
01:27:30.000 They're in Africa.
01:27:31.000 Well, no, but I mean, if you're ascribing advanced civilization to Africans, that's pro-African.
01:27:36.000 That's not anti-African.
01:27:37.000 Exactly.
01:27:38.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:27:39.000 None of it makes any sense.
01:27:40.000 It's so dumb.
01:27:41.000 It's maybe because he's a white man.
01:27:44.000 By the way, he's married to a brown woman.
01:27:46.000 Okay.
01:27:46.000 Beautiful woman, who's amazing.
01:27:48.000 His wife, Santa.
01:27:50.000 But the point is, he's just talking about ancient history.
01:27:54.000 None of it has to do with race or anything.
01:27:56.000 He's just talking about human beings.
01:27:57.000 Of course.
01:27:58.000 And they'll come up with all sorts of like pseudoscience labels they put on it and misinformation and they were telling him this forever and the more time goes on the more they find evidence that he's correct.
01:28:12.000 It's happening over and over and over and over and over and over again to the point where they've moved the dates of complex civilization all the way back to 12,000 years ago now because of Gobekli Tepe.
01:28:23.000 When they first found these fissures in the Temple of the Sphinx, they were like, there's no way, there's no evidence of any culture that existed that was sophisticated that long ago.
01:28:31.000 Where's the culture?
01:28:32.000 Where's the evidence?
01:28:32.000 Well, now they have evidence.
01:28:34.000 So it's like, because of Gobekli Tepe...
01:28:36.000 What is that?
01:28:37.000 It's a giant structure in Turkey that's like 12,000 years old.
01:28:40.000 Okay.
01:28:41.000 They know it was purposely covered.
01:28:42.000 Someone buried it up.
01:28:44.000 Someone, like, covered it 12,000 years ago.
01:28:46.000 I guess they know that because the soil samples are uniform.
01:28:50.000 It wasn't just gradual over time.
01:28:53.000 Exactly.
01:28:53.000 This is all the evidence that shows that this was probably covered by some invading army.
01:28:58.000 There was literally a cover-up of an ancient civilization?
01:29:00.000 It's a literal cover-up.
01:29:01.000 Yeah, it's a literal cover-up.
01:29:03.000 When was this discovered?
01:29:04.000 This was discovered by a goat herder, I believe, or a sheep herder.
01:29:08.000 And he was walking along this mountainside, and he saw this cornerstone that was sticking up.
01:29:15.000 It looked like a right angle that he thought was weird.
01:29:18.000 So he starts digging at it, and he starts moving it around, and then he starts digging around it.
01:29:22.000 Looks like Stonehenge almost.
01:29:24.000 He starts calling in scientists.
01:29:25.000 He's like, hey, we got some shit here.
01:29:28.000 And so it's immense.
01:29:29.000 It's immense.
01:29:30.000 To this day, they only have, I think, 5% of it or 10% of it has been excavated.
01:29:35.000 And they've found through Lidar, there's similar structures that are all over the area.
01:29:40.000 So this is just one of many of these structures that was, look, some barbarians probably fucking came in, just slashed everybody up and decided to cover their shit.
01:29:50.000 Yeah, their holy areas.
01:29:51.000 Yeah, fuck you.
01:29:52.000 We're going to cover this.
01:29:53.000 Yeah, fuck you.
01:29:54.000 Think about what the Mongols did.
01:29:57.000 Holy crap.
01:29:58.000 I've never heard of this.
01:29:59.000 It's amazing, right?
01:30:01.000 Wow.
01:30:01.000 But think about what the Mongols did where they would wipe out an entire city, kill everybody with bows and arrows and knives and shit and just level the city and do it to the ground.
01:30:10.000 People have been doing that forever.
01:30:11.000 They probably did that to these folks.
01:30:13.000 Whoever had these structures, they probably killed them all and then covered all their shit up.
01:30:18.000 Fuck you.
01:30:19.000 What about the conquistadors, whatever it was, where they're finding the Mayas or the Incas, where they just stood there and their arms were just tied because they just stood there killing.
01:30:25.000 Guys just came at them one after another and you just killed them all day.
01:30:28.000 It was fucking crazy.
01:30:30.000 Yeah, they thought the Aztecs thought that they were gods.
01:30:33.000 Yeah, because they're on horseback and then they're blonde.
01:30:35.000 So they came over from the sea like they've been prophesied.
01:30:37.000 You know what's crazy, too, is that horses used to be from North America.
01:30:41.000 Then they moved elsewhere and they came back?
01:30:43.000 Yeah, they died off.
01:30:44.000 And they think they died off at the same time as the impacts.
01:30:47.000 Oh.
01:30:47.000 There's like actual evidence, biological evidence, that fits with this Younger Dryas impact theory.
01:30:55.000 And there's like two coinciding things that Randall Carlson talks about.
01:31:00.000 But the extinction of like 65% of all megafauna on North America.
01:31:05.000 It all happened around 11,000 years ago.
01:31:08.000 I thought the argument was that that's when humans came and they out-competed them.
01:31:12.000 That's one theory, right?
01:31:13.000 That's the berserker theory.
01:31:15.000 Right.
01:31:15.000 That we killed so efficiently that we killed off all of them.
01:31:18.000 Because you had the Thunderbirds, you had the ground sloths, you had the direwolves, I think they were here.
01:31:24.000 The problem with that theory is, you're dealing with very primitive weapons.
01:31:28.000 When you go back that far, if you go back 11,000 years ago, I don't even think you have archery.
01:31:34.000 Okay.
01:31:34.000 I think you have atlatls, which is like a really shitty method of throwing a spear.
01:31:40.000 Like, I have a thing for my dog.
01:31:43.000 It's like a fucking...
01:31:44.000 It's like a...
01:31:46.000 I don't know what you call it.
01:31:48.000 It's a ball thrower, but it's like this little long stick that's curved, and at the end of it's the ball, and it gives you extra leverage.
01:31:54.000 Like a lacrosse thing?
01:31:55.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:31:57.000 Like a highlight.
01:31:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:31:58.000 Something like that.
01:31:59.000 So you throw it, and the ball goes further.
01:32:01.000 They had something like that for a spear.
01:32:04.000 Okay.
01:32:04.000 And they had this thing and they would just like throw the spear better.
01:32:07.000 But you gotta like sneak up on animals.
01:32:09.000 Like you gotta get real close to them.
01:32:11.000 It's not easy.
01:32:12.000 It's definitely not easy.
01:32:13.000 And you probably stink because no one's figured out soap yet.
01:32:16.000 And the area is huge.
01:32:17.000 North America and South America are gigantic.
01:32:19.000 Yeah.
01:32:19.000 And you're dealing with like plains animals.
01:32:21.000 You want me to believe they wiped out plains animals without horses?
01:32:24.000 Like shut the fuck up.
01:32:26.000 You know, we know what people did to the bison during the time where there was photography, right?
01:32:32.000 So we know because we have actual physical evidence of people standing on top of mountains of bison skulls.
01:32:38.000 People are capable of horrendous mass executions of animals, but they were doing that with long-range rifles.
01:32:45.000 Right, right.
01:32:46.000 And systemically.
01:32:47.000 They were trying to do it.
01:32:48.000 That's how they were able to do it so quickly.
01:32:50.000 If you're just talking about people with no horses, because they don't have horses, right?
01:32:55.000 So they're just running around, because the horses somehow or another went extinct.
01:33:00.000 And I don't think they're killing more than they need to.
01:33:01.000 They're not really hunting for sport.
01:33:02.000 They're hunting for food.
01:33:03.000 They're hunting for furs.
01:33:04.000 Exactly.
01:33:05.000 They're hunting for bones, whatever.
01:33:06.000 But they do occasionally kill more than they need.
01:33:08.000 Sure, but not to the point where I'm going to kill literally every animal around me.
01:33:12.000 They did cliff drops, though.
01:33:15.000 Okay.
01:33:15.000 The whole herd goes over the cliff and kills everybody?
01:33:17.000 Yeah, they did chase the herd off the cliff, and then they would go down around and eat them.
01:33:20.000 But they couldn't eat all of them.
01:33:21.000 It's impossible.
01:33:22.000 But that's what herd animals.
01:33:24.000 That's not going to explain the predators.
01:33:25.000 No, but you want to hear something crazy?
01:33:27.000 Sure.
01:33:27.000 Those buffalo bison drops like the biological waste all starts to rot and the gases and the fumes get so extreme that they cause fires like they spontaneously burst into flames and like the countryside in some of these areas where they have buffalo drops like the sides of the cliff are black with like soot because these fucking buffalo bodies burst into flames Holy...
01:33:49.000 Imagine how bad that stunk.
01:33:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:33:52.000 I was just playing with...
01:33:54.000 There's an exotic zoo here in Johnson City.
01:33:56.000 Make sure that's true.
01:33:58.000 Make sure that's true.
01:34:00.000 I'm pretty sure it is.
01:34:01.000 Buffalo drops...
01:34:02.000 I just have too much useless information in my head like that.
01:34:04.000 I want to make sure it's accurate.
01:34:06.000 There might have been one somebody told me, but I don't think it is.
01:34:08.000 I think it's real.
01:34:10.000 There's a place in Johnson City where there's like a safari here near Austin and you could go.
01:34:14.000 The bison was just sticking its head in the car and sticking out its tongue.
01:34:16.000 It's the most fun thing ever.
01:34:18.000 You could see them in Yellowstone.
01:34:19.000 I took my family to Yellowstone.
01:34:21.000 We were too close for my comfort.
01:34:24.000 I didn't feel comfortable at all.
01:34:27.000 They're massive and they can be aggressive and it's scary.
01:34:29.000 Oh, they fuck people up when they get close to them.
01:34:31.000 There's a good Instagram page called the Torons of Yellowstone.
01:34:35.000 Okay.
01:34:36.000 You know, morons that are tourists and Torons.
01:34:39.000 And it's all just people flying through the air.
01:34:41.000 Oh, is it really?
01:34:42.000 Yeah, it's all just people getting kicked by elk and stabbed.
01:34:45.000 Yeah, it's fucking horrible.
01:34:46.000 People are so stupid.
01:34:47.000 They jump out of their car to say hi to a bear.
01:34:50.000 It's so dumb.
01:34:52.000 Oh, yeah!
01:34:52.000 Oh, yeah!
01:34:54.000 A bear?
01:34:54.000 Oh, yeah!
01:34:56.000 Dude, people are fucking dumb.
01:34:57.000 They try to take selfies with bears.
01:34:59.000 I think there's those folks that live in West Virginia that are inbred, and then there's a scale.
01:35:05.000 There's a scale from that...
01:35:08.000 To Elon Musk.
01:35:10.000 Somewhere on that scale, you think it's okay to take a fucking selfie with a bear.
01:35:15.000 I don't know what that is.
01:35:18.000 Do you think they watch too much Disney?
01:35:23.000 I just think they think it's not gonna happen to them because it hasn't happened to them yet.
01:35:28.000 I think people have this- that's what I think about like super volcanoes and shit, too.
01:35:31.000 It's like it hasn't happened yet, so you think it can't happen.
01:35:33.000 Or you know, I've never heard of any- this happening to anyone, so therefore it doesn't really happen.
01:35:37.000 Can't happen!
01:35:38.000 Yeah.
01:35:38.000 I mean, I've read about it, but whatever.
01:35:40.000 Dude, California has a grizzly bear as the flag.
01:35:44.000 Yeah.
01:35:44.000 It's on the flag.
01:35:44.000 There's no grizzly bears in California.
01:35:46.000 They killed them all.
01:35:47.000 Do you know why they killed them all?
01:35:48.000 Because they killed people.
01:35:49.000 They killed so many people that they got together and they said, we gotta kill all these fucking bears.
01:35:53.000 And they killed all of them.
01:35:56.000 And the last guy that died from a grizzly bear was in Levesque, California.
01:35:59.000 How long ago was this?
01:36:00.000 Because they named it Levesque after him.
01:36:02.000 No.
01:36:02.000 Yeah, I think his name was Steven Levesque.
01:36:04.000 Yeah, he got fucking destroyed by a grizzly bear.
01:36:06.000 They killed the bear.
01:36:07.000 That was the last bear.
01:36:08.000 And then they fucking named the town after him.
01:36:11.000 But how are you going to keep bears out of California?
01:36:13.000 It's gigantic.
01:36:13.000 They murdered all of them.
01:36:15.000 Yeah, but there's still going to be some in like Oregon or Nevada who are going to come back.
01:36:18.000 No, there's no grizzlies in Oregon or Nevada.
01:36:21.000 Really?
01:36:21.000 Yeah.
01:36:22.000 Grizzlies only exist in a few western states.
01:36:25.000 They don't exist in Colorado, but they do think they might.
01:36:28.000 In fact, my friend Adam Greentree, he did a long hunt in the mountains, the San Juan Mountains of Colorado, and he got video of what he says is a grizzly bear that was off in the distance.
01:36:39.000 Did you see the grizzly bear I posted on my Instagram today?
01:36:41.000 No, I didn't.
01:36:42.000 Oh, boy.
01:36:43.000 Oh, boy.
01:36:45.000 Oh boy.
01:36:45.000 So people just...
01:36:47.000 I love this video because it's a camera that's set up and someone put food in front of the camera and a light so that when the grizzly bear walked in, you can get video of this thing walking in.
01:36:56.000 So it's like a little cautious and a little skittish, but you get a sense of what it would look like if that thing was like walking up to you.
01:37:04.000 And any illusions...
01:37:05.000 Holy crap.
01:37:06.000 Any illusion that you have that you could somehow survive if that thing wanted to kill you.
01:37:12.000 Should be instantaneously erased when you see this video.
01:37:15.000 Look at the size of that fucking thing.
01:37:18.000 I mean, look at the fucking size of it.
01:37:22.000 Play that again, because it's so insane.
01:37:25.000 When you see it walking, the immense power of this thing.
01:37:28.000 It's like a truck.
01:37:29.000 And this thing could run 40 miles an hour.
01:37:31.000 Like, you're fucked.
01:37:36.000 Dude, I bet they run faster than 40 miles an hour.
01:37:39.000 No, there's no way.
01:37:40.000 I bet they do.
01:37:41.000 No, 40?
01:37:42.000 40's crazy.
01:37:43.000 You would be stunned.
01:37:44.000 You'd be stunned if you saw how fast a grizzly bear runs.
01:37:46.000 Yeah, but 40's a crazy speed.
01:37:48.000 But don't you think a deer could do that?
01:37:50.000 Brown bear 35. Brown bear 25. Which brown bear 35?
01:37:54.000 Black bear what?
01:37:56.000 It's a polar bear 25. Oh.
01:37:58.000 Okay.
01:37:58.000 Yeah.
01:37:58.000 Okay.
01:37:58.000 35 miles an hour.
01:37:59.000 Close to 40. Okay.
01:38:01.000 It's in the neighborhood.
01:38:01.000 Sure.
01:38:02.000 It's like fast as the fastest human that's ever lived.
01:38:04.000 And they could do it for a long time.
01:38:05.000 Oh my god.
01:38:06.000 But there's one running.
01:38:06.000 Look how fast he's running.
01:38:08.000 That's from a car, yeah.
01:38:09.000 Yeah.
01:38:10.000 Dude, I'm telling you, they're stunningly fast for a big thing.
01:38:13.000 Way faster than us.
01:38:14.000 Well, so I saw rhinos and hippos.
01:38:16.000 They're fucking...
01:38:17.000 It's insane.
01:38:18.000 Look at that fucker run.
01:38:19.000 Well, they're all muscle.
01:38:21.000 They're just muscle and fat and fur.
01:38:23.000 And thick-ass skin.
01:38:24.000 Do they have stamina, though?
01:38:25.000 Oh, yeah, man.
01:38:26.000 They chase moose down.
01:38:28.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:38:28.000 You're right.
01:38:29.000 They're not ambush predators.
01:38:30.000 They're chase predators.
01:38:31.000 I don't mean to be defensive.
01:38:32.000 I was just saying, can they sprint a mile or can they sprint 100 yards and then they go?
01:38:36.000 None of the animals can sprint a mile.
01:38:38.000 But they have better endurance than the deer.
01:38:42.000 They catch them.
01:38:43.000 They just chase after them.
01:38:44.000 They get them in an open area.
01:38:45.000 They just chase after them.
01:38:46.000 There's a great video of this...
01:38:50.000 Large grizzly bear chasing down this elk and they're running over like deadfall trees and shit and the bear just finally gets them.
01:38:56.000 They're just scrambling around.
01:38:58.000 It's almost like you're watching a football play and then the bear gets them.
01:39:01.000 The bear just chased them down and got them.
01:39:03.000 They get them all the time.
01:39:05.000 Bears are so big and so powerful that they have no fear.
01:39:10.000 There's nothing that can fuck them up.
01:39:12.000 Yeah, but well, no, they can be kind of skittish.
01:39:14.000 You ever watch that show alone?
01:39:15.000 That's because of people.
01:39:16.000 Sure, sure.
01:39:17.000 People and guns.
01:39:18.000 So what I was saying is like Wyoming, Montana, Alaska has a lot.
01:39:23.000 Alaska has a lot.
01:39:25.000 Other states with grizzlies or brown bears, I think that might be it.
01:39:33.000 Idaho.
01:39:33.000 Idaho definitely has.
01:39:34.000 Sorry.
01:39:35.000 New York State had brown bears.
01:39:36.000 No.
01:39:37.000 No?
01:39:37.000 No.
01:39:38.000 New York State has black bears that are color phase bears.
01:39:42.000 Okay.
01:39:42.000 They probably had brown bears at one point in time.
01:39:45.000 Yeah.
01:39:45.000 In history, and they probably were eradicated for the same reason why they eradicated them from California.
01:39:50.000 Like, people forget.
01:39:52.000 Like, California's all ranches and shit.
01:39:53.000 Right.
01:39:54.000 You know, like when people first came out here, the settlers, the homesteaders?
01:39:57.000 Yeah, of course.
01:39:58.000 They killed all those grizzly bears.
01:40:00.000 Like, fuck this.
01:40:00.000 You sure there's no brown bears upstate New York?
01:40:02.000 Yes, I'm sure.
01:40:03.000 There's a color phase black bear and they are brown.
01:40:07.000 Yeah, I know what you're referring to.
01:40:08.000 And some of them are blonde.
01:40:09.000 They get to like a blonde color, but there's no grizzlies.
01:40:12.000 I didn't say grizzlies.
01:40:13.000 I thought brown bears were.
01:40:14.000 Brown bears are grizzlies.
01:40:15.000 It's the same thing?
01:40:15.000 Yeah.
01:40:16.000 Brown bear is the coastal bear.
01:40:17.000 Like Alaska is a brown bear.
01:40:19.000 The brown bears live on the coast.
01:40:21.000 And then the inland bears are grizzlies.
01:40:24.000 But they're the same bear.
01:40:25.000 It's a brown bear.
01:40:26.000 Okay.
01:40:27.000 Yeah, there's two different species.
01:40:28.000 They have longer claws.
01:40:29.000 They're a different bear.
01:40:31.000 And they're much more aggressive and much more dangerous than a black bear.
01:40:36.000 But black bears, when they kill people, they're killing people to eat people more often.
01:40:41.000 Brown bears generally don't think of people as food.
01:40:43.000 They don't know what the fuck you are.
01:40:45.000 Like, they're trying to kill moose and deer and eat salmon and stuff like that.
01:40:50.000 Black bear will be, like, they've pulled people out of tents and shit.
01:40:54.000 But grizzly bears have done that too.
01:40:55.000 Well, it's a grizzly man.
01:40:56.000 Yeah.
01:40:57.000 Well, that guy was, he was staying in a place where the bears should have already been in hibernation and he was out there.
01:41:04.000 And so the only bears that were still out were starving.
01:41:07.000 And so he was like almost like suicide by bear.
01:41:10.000 He was a bear expert.
01:41:12.000 He should have known that.
01:41:13.000 The people that talk about that area, it's called the Grizzly Maze, I think.
01:41:20.000 And it's just infested with giant fucking bears.
01:41:24.000 They're huge, man.
01:41:26.000 And when they get older, they don't have enough fat to hibernate, so they have to be up.
01:41:30.000 And they do a lot of cannibalism, like you found cubs that get eaten.
01:41:34.000 Oh, bears are cannibals.
01:41:36.000 Almost all bears are cannibals.
01:41:38.000 My friend saw these two bears fighting.
01:41:42.000 There was a male bear who came in because there was a female in her cubs, and the female tried to chase off the male bear, but the male bear got ahold of one of her cubs and killed it.
01:41:52.000 And she chased off the male bear after the male bear killed her cubs, and then she ate her cub.
01:41:58.000 Well, it was, I mean, the dead one, right?
01:42:00.000 Yes.
01:42:00.000 She ate her dead cub.
01:42:01.000 Jesus.
01:42:02.000 Right after she was trying to protect it, the moment it became meat, she ate her cub.
01:42:07.000 Good lord, okay.
01:42:07.000 That's what we're talking about.
01:42:09.000 Like, this is not a fucking stuffed animal.
01:42:13.000 And people are like, we need more of them.
01:42:15.000 We need to reintroduce them to Colorado.
01:42:18.000 Like, people want to reintroduce them places.
01:42:20.000 Like, what are you talking about?
01:42:22.000 Yeah, and they're the ones...
01:42:22.000 Do you know what that is?
01:42:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:42:25.000 But I think this is the problem.
01:42:26.000 People have this Disney idea of nature.
01:42:28.000 They certainly do.
01:42:30.000 Yeah, they certainly do.
01:42:31.000 So, no, there's no brown bears.
01:42:33.000 I mean, I don't know when the last time there was a brown bear in New York.
01:42:37.000 See if there's where brown bears are.
01:42:39.000 What states do brown bears live in?
01:42:42.000 I want to say probably Colorado, but that's controversial.
01:42:46.000 Wyoming, definitely.
01:42:48.000 Definitely has a lot of them.
01:42:49.000 Only four states.
01:42:50.000 Okay, wow.
01:42:51.000 Washington State.
01:42:52.000 Oh, I forgot Washington State.
01:42:53.000 Okay.
01:42:53.000 Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming.
01:42:56.000 Less than 2,000 remain.
01:42:57.000 Brown bears are far more numerous than the state of Alaska, with an estimated 30,000 bears.
01:43:03.000 About 95% of the entire population in the United States.
01:43:06.000 Holy shit.
01:43:09.000 How about those people that live on that island that just get giant bears, like, coming to the island all the time?
01:43:14.000 Which is the island where the guy shot the bear through the door in the head as it was, like, trapped in his house?
01:43:21.000 This bear got into this guy's house, they came downstairs, they heard all this noise, and the neighbor came over while the bear was in the guy's house and shot it through the head, through the front door.
01:43:33.000 Admiralty Island, wow.
01:43:35.000 Pull that story up because the story is fucking wild.
01:43:38.000 And there's also Kodiak Island for the Kodiak Bears.
01:43:41.000 Yeah, the Kodiak Bears, which are the biggest bears.
01:43:43.000 But all those bears on that side, the coastal bears, they call brown bears.
01:43:47.000 That's like Alaska bears.
01:43:49.000 And they're way bigger.
01:43:50.000 Way bigger.
01:43:51.000 Because they have so much salmon.
01:43:52.000 They're eating so much fish and they eat like dead whales and shit and they're fucking enormous.
01:43:59.000 Which Grizzly Barrel hoax?
01:44:00.000 Oh, it's a hoax.
01:44:01.000 Is it a hoax?
01:44:01.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:44:02.000 This is a new story.
01:44:04.000 This is a new story.
01:44:05.000 It happened, um, I think it was on a Fognac.
01:44:10.000 Man kills Kodiak, that's it.
01:44:12.000 Oh, it's a Kodiak, even bigger.
01:44:13.000 Okay, so click on that.
01:44:14.000 So this is the house.
01:44:15.000 Oh my god.
01:44:16.000 So this bear was trying to get into his fucking front door.
01:44:19.000 The bear got in somehow and then couldn't get out.
01:44:22.000 And so it was trapped in the front area of his house.
01:44:26.000 And his neighbor came over and the bear was trying to get through the door to get out.
01:44:31.000 And he shot it through the door and killed it.
01:44:33.000 Holy crap.
01:44:34.000 Yeah, holy crap, dude.
01:44:36.000 Can you imagine?
01:44:37.000 You go downstairs and there's a fucking 10-foot bear in your house.
01:44:40.000 How big was the bear?
01:44:41.000 A 12-gauge slug to the head through a wooden door in the middle of the night during a storm.
01:44:48.000 That guy's never going to forget that fucking night.
01:44:50.000 Yeah, no shit.
01:44:50.000 Holy crap.
01:44:51.000 How big was the bear?
01:44:52.000 Look how big it is.
01:44:54.000 Look at when he's got it on.
01:44:55.000 Look at how they got it hanging.
01:44:57.000 You see how big it is.
01:44:58.000 Oh my god.
01:44:58.000 It's got to be like 10 feet or something.
01:45:00.000 It's got to be 10 feet.
01:45:01.000 Easy.
01:45:02.000 Easy.
01:45:04.000 Half ton.
01:45:05.000 That's 1,000 pounds.
01:45:06.000 Oh my god.
01:45:08.000 Whoo!
01:45:10.000 Oh my god.
01:45:10.000 Look at the size of that thing where it's lying there dead.
01:45:13.000 Look at the claws on it.
01:45:14.000 But that's just a real monster.
01:45:17.000 It's a real monster.
01:45:18.000 It really exists.
01:45:20.000 His wife said, baby, there's a bear.
01:45:24.000 The bear's nose is at my bedroom doorway, looking right at my wife.
01:45:27.000 Oh my god.
01:45:29.000 The bear had come through the front door, somehow bumping it closed, walked through the living room, through the kitchen, past the leftover fried chicken on the counter, and stopped directly in front of the family's washer and dryer.
01:45:42.000 It was looking at Maribel lying in bed.
01:45:45.000 Why wouldn't it get the food?
01:45:47.000 I don't know.
01:45:47.000 Because it smelled live things.
01:45:49.000 Scroll back up again so I can read what she said.
01:45:51.000 She says, it took me a quarter of a second to decide to pull the trigger, Olsen said.
01:45:56.000 Jesus Christ.
01:45:57.000 Holy crap.
01:45:58.000 Oh my God.
01:45:59.000 So he shot it.
01:46:01.000 And then the bear...
01:46:03.000 So he shot it with a Colt.45.
01:46:06.000 So let me scroll down a little bit there.
01:46:08.000 Okay.
01:46:09.000 Despite Olsen's immediate decisiveness, he knew he had to take his shot carefully.
01:46:14.000 He had to shoot around the corner of a bedroom where his two youngest children were sleeping.
01:46:19.000 As he pulled the trigger to send a.45 Colt round through the bear's shoulder, his inner voice reminded him, don't hit the kids.
01:46:27.000 When I pulled the trigger, I couldn't see its head.
01:46:30.000 I hope that the first shot hit him in the shoulder.
01:46:34.000 Whether from pain or fear, the bear managed to turn its mammoth body around inside the confines of the home's tiny hallway, likely in an attempt to get back out the way he came in.
01:46:46.000 Olsen followed the bear through his house.
01:46:48.000 I was pulling the trigger while shouting,''Get out of my house!'' Along with a lot of logger and fisherman words that I've learned over the years, he said.
01:46:57.000 There was not an ounce of fear in me at that moment.
01:46:59.000 It was all business.
01:47:01.000 It was just rage and the maddest I have ever been.
01:47:04.000 I could not believe this thing was in my house.
01:47:07.000 I was furious.
01:47:09.000 Holy shit.
01:47:10.000 How could there be no fear when you have this thing in your house?
01:47:13.000 Olsen put three of the four rounds he fired into the bear.
01:47:17.000 A.45 cull is not desired to bring down a 988-pound bear instantly.
01:47:22.000 It's not big enough, he said.
01:47:23.000 You need a bigger gun.
01:47:25.000 Scared and injured, the enormous bear made a valiant effort to escape Olsen's house.
01:47:28.000 It staggered into the home's attic entry.
01:47:31.000 Arctic entry rather, a kind of eight by eight foot mud room lined with shelves that the family uses as a pantry.
01:47:38.000 It was thrashing around in there, but he couldn't get out.
01:47:41.000 Somehow the door ended up closed.
01:47:42.000 He would have left if he could have, but that stupid door shut behind him.
01:47:47.000 Because a wounded Kodiak bear could be far more dangerous than an uninjured bear, Olsen saved the last round in his revolver just in case the bear tried to leave the pantry.
01:47:55.000 I could hear him breathing.
01:47:57.000 The girls could hear him in their room too, Olsen said.
01:48:00.000 I kept yelling at the girls to stay in their room.
01:48:02.000 I did not want them coming out of that doorway.
01:48:04.000 He was thrashing around, trying to get out every once in a while, and it had evacuated its bowels on the carpet, Olsen said.
01:48:11.000 He was scared.
01:48:13.000 So he calls for backup.
01:48:14.000 He calls his friend.
01:48:16.000 Wow.
01:48:17.000 This is a whole long process.
01:48:18.000 Yeah.
01:48:20.000 So one of my buddies got a call.
01:48:21.000 He was going up there to Olsen's house.
01:48:24.000 Hellman said, his wife called my wife because she didn't want him going alone.
01:48:28.000 So she woke me up.
01:48:30.000 Hellman grabbed his Remington 870 tactical shotgun and a handful of Winchester XP one ounce copper sabbat slugs.
01:48:38.000 That's a big round.
01:48:39.000 And headed up the road into his neighbor's house.
01:48:43.000 Hellman said it had relied on the slugs for hunting, and they leave the muzzle with an intense 2,489 foot-pounds of energy.
01:48:52.000 When I showed up, the bear was sitting right behind the front door, and there's a glass window in the door, Hellman said.
01:48:58.000 You could just see it sitting there with its head moving up and down like it was either licking its wounds or eating something.
01:49:04.000 I'm not sure which.
01:49:06.000 This is probably licking the part where it got shot, right?
01:49:10.000 So he said, I was about 10 feet from the door.
01:49:11.000 I timed the shot for when its head was below the glass.
01:49:14.000 I wanted to shoot through the wood part of the door, not the glass.
01:49:17.000 When I shot, it shook the whole house.
01:49:19.000 The copper slug hit the mark traveling under the heavy bear's jaw and through its brain.
01:49:26.000 After I shot, we moved up to the door and shined a flashlight in there.
01:49:29.000 We could see it laying there motionless, but we wanted to give it plenty of time.
01:49:32.000 The last thing I wanted to do was go in the back door and be in the living room with an injured bear.
01:49:38.000 That's why I made a choice to shoot it right through the door instead of going in there with it.
01:49:43.000 Holy fuck, dude.
01:49:45.000 Then they had to get it out of the house, too.
01:49:49.000 Those motherfuckers survived when the rocks hit.
01:49:52.000 When the comets hit, the bears lived.
01:49:54.000 They lived.
01:49:55.000 Everything else died.
01:49:56.000 Saber-seeked tigers died.
01:49:57.000 Horses died.
01:49:57.000 What's the most dangerous thing that we have around here in Austin?
01:50:01.000 There's mountain lions here.
01:50:02.000 Okay.
01:50:03.000 There's not a lot of them, but they've spotted them.
01:50:05.000 Okay.
01:50:05.000 There must be rattlesnakes, too.
01:50:07.000 Yeah, there's rattlesnakes.
01:50:08.000 There's big coyotes.
01:50:10.000 I wouldn't worry about you, but if you have children, I'd worry about them.
01:50:13.000 They killed dogs.
01:50:14.000 They killed a buddy of mine's dog recently.
01:50:16.000 That's everywhere though.
01:50:17.000 That's the whole country now.
01:50:19.000 Coyotes are literally in every fucking state.
01:50:22.000 That's okay.
01:50:23.000 Well, at least we don't have bears.
01:50:24.000 Yeah, we don't have bears.
01:50:25.000 But we do have more tigers in private collections in captivity than all of the wild of the world.
01:50:31.000 Yeah, I think, doesn't Texas have no restrictions on...
01:50:34.000 There's a pet store here where they have a sloth.
01:50:38.000 And it was funny because Blair comes over and she's like, oh, I think I saw this monkey-like thing at this pet store.
01:50:45.000 I think it's a sloth.
01:50:46.000 And I'm like, shut the fuck up.
01:50:48.000 You cannot have a sloth at a pet store.
01:50:50.000 She's like, I think it's a sloth.
01:50:51.000 I'm like, alright.
01:50:52.000 And I'm showing her pictures.
01:50:53.000 She's like, I think that's it.
01:50:54.000 And I made her call them.
01:50:56.000 And she's like, sir, what was that thing in the window?
01:50:59.000 They're like, do you mean the sloth?
01:51:00.000 You go there, there's a sloth.
01:51:02.000 And its best friend is an iguana.
01:51:04.000 Her best friend, excuse me.
01:51:05.000 And the sloth likes licking the salt from the iguana's nostril.
01:51:09.000 But it's in this amazing pet store.
01:51:11.000 They have a sloth.
01:51:12.000 And she's been there for 15 years or something.
01:51:13.000 A kangaroo problem in Texas.
01:51:15.000 No.
01:51:16.000 Yeah.
01:51:16.000 Is that a euphemism?
01:51:17.000 No, there's a real kangaroo problem.
01:51:18.000 Dudes have kangaroos as pets, and they get out.
01:51:21.000 And they're breeding?
01:51:22.000 I don't know if they're breeding yet, but people have spotted kangaroos, and one guy's kangaroo got out, and he had to lure it back to the house with milk.
01:51:29.000 Because kangaroos don't have to listen to you.
01:51:31.000 Right, yeah.
01:51:32.000 They get pretty big.
01:51:32.000 Yeah, yeah, and they get aggressive.
01:51:34.000 Well, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
01:51:36.000 What's up with all the kangaroos loose in Texas?
01:51:39.000 What's up?
01:51:40.000 Two roos recently went walkabout, calling attention to the fact that in Texas it's legal to keep them as pets.
01:51:50.000 But that doesn't mean you should.
01:51:51.000 No, it doesn't mean you should.
01:51:52.000 But it's also legal.
01:51:53.000 You know, that's why we gotta keep guys like Beto O'Rourke from being the governor of Texas.
01:51:58.000 Because he would stop.
01:51:59.000 He would stop the kangaroos.
01:52:00.000 That's one of the first things he would do.
01:52:01.000 People would complain.
01:52:03.000 Do you know where that won't be?
01:52:04.000 Kangaroos are racist.
01:52:05.000 Do you know where that won't be a problem?
01:52:07.000 Where?
01:52:07.000 The Republic of Texas.
01:52:09.000 Interesting.
01:52:10.000 Where if he can become president of the Republic of Texas?
01:52:12.000 It'll be part of our Constitution.
01:52:14.000 How long does...
01:52:15.000 Here's a...
01:52:15.000 I'm gonna throw this out there.
01:52:16.000 Yeah.
01:52:17.000 What's a good amount of time someone should be president?
01:52:20.000 Zero.
01:52:23.000 So how do we run things with no president?
01:52:25.000 Well, here's the problem with term limits.
01:52:27.000 Well, it's simple.
01:52:28.000 Everyone does what they're supposed to.
01:52:29.000 The problem with term limits is when you start out, you're doing the toughest job in the world and you're a newbie.
01:52:35.000 Well, also that you're incentivized to get all – you don't have a long time span.
01:52:39.000 So you don't really have a concern about what happens in year nine because you have no possibility of being reelected.
01:52:45.000 So the incentive...
01:52:45.000 And if you look at New York, term limits got us de Blasio, right?
01:52:49.000 Because Bloomberg was there for two years.
01:52:51.000 He cheated.
01:52:51.000 He made a third term.
01:52:53.000 He got his third term.
01:52:54.000 He got elected.
01:52:54.000 De Blasio comes in, and it's just like...
01:52:57.000 Fucks everything up.
01:52:58.000 I mean, when's the last time you were in New York?
01:53:00.000 Pretty recently.
01:53:01.000 Pretty recently, yeah.
01:53:01.000 It's devastating.
01:53:02.000 It's so awful.
01:53:03.000 I could talk about this all the time.
01:53:04.000 It's just so heartbreaking to see.
01:53:05.000 I was in New York during the pandemic, and we heard gunshots while we were getting falafels.
01:53:10.000 Are you serious?
01:53:10.000 Yeah.
01:53:11.000 We were at a falafel stand, and we were like, bang, bang, bang!
01:53:15.000 Like, oh, gunshots.
01:53:16.000 Two in the morning in New York City.
01:53:18.000 And you saw Lori Lightfoot, when she lost her nomination, she said, you know, I've made Chicago a better and safer city.
01:53:24.000 Like, these people are shameless.
01:53:25.000 I think they're crazy.
01:53:28.000 I think that's why they're running in the first place.
01:53:30.000 I mean, she used to dress up.
01:53:31.000 Remember, she dressed up like a superhero?
01:53:33.000 That's right, yeah.
01:53:34.000 To fight COVID. She's a crazy person.
01:53:36.000 Yes, you could see it in her eyes.
01:53:38.000 But, you know, they like the idea of having her.
01:53:42.000 I think it's more the idea than the actual person.
01:53:45.000 I think we're in this time where you look at the performance of some of these people that are in these places that always vote blue.
01:53:54.000 And you go, this is kind of crazy that you guys are sticking to this way of running cities when it always fails.
01:54:03.000 It fails spectacularly almost every time.
01:54:06.000 But there's different ways of voting blue failing.
01:54:08.000 Oh, yeah.
01:54:09.000 Like, it's not always voting blue means crime.
01:54:11.000 No, no, but it seems like that today.
01:54:14.000 It seems like that now, that voting blue means being softer on crime.
01:54:19.000 It means that you recognize that there's too many people in prison and that the United States has more people in prison than any other country in the world.
01:54:28.000 And that we have a prison industrial complex, and that you have corrupt judges, and you have incompetent lawyers, and you have a lot of factors that lead to people to be prosecuted for crimes that they didn't really commit, and they get incarcerated.
01:54:40.000 Or things that shouldn't be crimes to begin with.
01:54:42.000 Yeah, many of them.
01:54:44.000 Probably a large percentage of people in this country are in jail for drugs.
01:54:49.000 I don't know what that percentage was, but I do know that it was a scam when Biden was saying, everybody's in jail for possession of marijuana, you're going to be free.
01:54:58.000 But there's no one in jail for possession of marijuana in a federal prison.
01:55:04.000 It's all state laws.
01:55:05.000 It's all distribution.
01:55:06.000 It's all sales.
01:55:08.000 It's all like you're a drug dealer.
01:55:10.000 It's not like you just have weed.
01:55:11.000 He's saying marijuana possession.
01:55:13.000 Like how much?
01:55:14.000 What if I have a thousand pounds?
01:55:16.000 What they call that what?
01:55:17.000 Intent to distribute, right?
01:55:18.000 Yes!
01:55:19.000 You're a fucking drug dealer.
01:55:20.000 Or it could be you're just a big drug user.
01:55:22.000 Well, at a certain point, you can't argue that.
01:55:24.000 Like, if you go over some dude's houses, like in California where it's legal, right?
01:55:28.000 Go to, like, Be Real from Cypress Hill's house.
01:55:32.000 What kind of fucking compound with...
01:55:37.000 I mean, he's probably got every kind of weed known to man at his house.
01:55:41.000 But it could be a Jim Baker situation, right?
01:55:42.000 That he's waiting for the rapture.
01:55:44.000 So he's got tables made out of, you know...
01:55:46.000 Yeah.
01:55:47.000 Of...
01:55:48.000 But I mean, if you go to most people's house, you find a couple of joints.
01:55:52.000 But it doesn't mean that he's selling.
01:55:54.000 It just means he likes wheat more.
01:55:57.000 My friend is a wine collector.
01:56:00.000 You go to his house, there's this enormous wine room, and it's all temperature controlled and shit.
01:56:05.000 He's not a wine dealer.
01:56:07.000 If wine was illegal, you wouldn't say that this guy's a fucking criminal.
01:56:10.000 He's about to sell wine to everybody.
01:56:12.000 No, he likes wine.
01:56:14.000 When I did grand jury, this was some of the things they were trying to put people away for.
01:56:18.000 And these were like teenagers.
01:56:19.000 And they wanted to get them, like, he's got a pound, two pounds, I don't remember what it was, of weed, let's put away.
01:56:23.000 And it's not that hard to convince people to let them walk.
01:56:26.000 It's like, listen, do you want to ruin this kid's life because he has a lot of weed?
01:56:29.000 And people are like, yeah, you're right.
01:56:30.000 It's stupid.
01:56:30.000 Weed should be 100% legal.
01:56:32.000 And the DAs come back and they're confused because we refused to indict them, even though they had them dead to rights.
01:56:39.000 So that's something people can do to keep people in jail.
01:56:42.000 So that's great.
01:56:42.000 The violent crime thing, though, is not great.
01:56:45.000 And when people commit violent crimes, oftentimes they're mentally ill.
01:56:49.000 And if you just let those people right back on the street and they just got away with committing a violent crime, the chances of them committing a violent crime again are probably pretty fucking high.
01:56:58.000 Yeah, but they don't- Instead of a long history of violent crime.
01:57:01.000 But they don't need to be mentally ill.
01:57:02.000 If it's legal for me to steal from CVS or Duane Reade, I could just go in with my shopping bag, fill it up.
01:57:08.000 They're not going to stop me.
01:57:09.000 I'm not going to get arrested.
01:57:10.000 If I get arrested, I'm still up ahead.
01:57:12.000 So why not do it?
01:57:13.000 Why not do it?
01:57:14.000 And then, you know, what is it?
01:57:16.000 Which one?
01:57:17.000 Was it Walgreens that pulled out of Portland or Walmart?
01:57:20.000 Did Walmart pull out of Portland?
01:57:23.000 Because of just the thefts?
01:57:24.000 They're like, we can't do this anymore.
01:57:26.000 Yeah, you guys are crazy.
01:57:28.000 You're just letting people steal things.
01:57:29.000 It's nuts.
01:57:30.000 You steal up to $900 worth of stuff, and no one's supposed to stop you.
01:57:34.000 So people just walk into stores and steal things.
01:57:36.000 Yeah, but this was the thing in the late 60s, early 70s, and this was a big problem for the Democratic Party because they were big on so-called civil liberties, civil rights, things like that in this context of rights of the accused.
01:57:47.000 Yeah.
01:58:07.000 Yeah.
01:58:08.000 Mayor Adams to New York City shoppers, drop that mask.
01:58:12.000 To prevent robberies, Mayor Eric Adams is telling shopkeepers to bar customers who refuse to lower their masks when they first enter stores.
01:58:20.000 Good lord.
01:58:21.000 Oh boy.
01:58:23.000 When they first enter stores.
01:58:25.000 It's like you come in the store, I show you my face, then I put the mask back on.
01:58:29.000 You're not gonna remember what I looked like.
01:58:30.000 I just can't believe that people are still wearing masks.
01:58:32.000 Yeah.
01:58:35.000 Especially after these studies have come out.
01:58:37.000 We have data on it now, folks.
01:58:40.000 They pretty much agree that it doesn't work.
01:58:42.000 Yeah, but it does work because you're signaling in-group signaling.
01:58:45.000 Yeah, you're in-group signaling.
01:58:46.000 It works for that.
01:58:47.000 And it works for people that are paranoid.
01:58:49.000 And maybe N95 masks might offer you some very slight level of protection.
01:58:56.000 I don't know.
01:58:57.000 Maybe it's better than not having one.
01:58:58.000 But Jesus Christ, there's a requirement.
01:59:00.000 It's ridiculous.
01:59:01.000 There's a dude who goes to my gym who's 5'2", and he's squatting like 500 pounds.
01:59:07.000 And he's in a mask every single time for months.
01:59:10.000 And I'm so curious what he's thinking and what's going on.
01:59:13.000 Because obviously he knows about his health and taking care of his health.
01:59:16.000 Maybe he has bad teeth.
01:59:18.000 He doesn't want you to see his teeth.
01:59:22.000 Habsburg jaw?
01:59:23.000 I think there was a study recently that unattractive people are far more likely to keep their masks on.
01:59:28.000 I think people don't like people looking at their face if they don't feel good about their face.
01:59:32.000 And, you know, you're a good-looking guy.
01:59:34.000 You're lucky.
01:59:35.000 I don't know about that, but...
01:59:36.000 You're definitely not ugly.
01:59:37.000 I don't know about that either.
01:59:38.000 You're not ugly.
01:59:39.000 Thank you.
01:59:40.000 But some people, unfortunately, didn't get born with the best face.
01:59:43.000 And they don't like it.
01:59:44.000 Maybe they don't like what they look like.
01:59:46.000 Maybe they don't like the fact that they gained weight.
01:59:48.000 They got a double chin.
01:59:49.000 Slap a mask on.
01:59:50.000 Yeah, but...
01:59:50.000 And then you feel anonymous.
01:59:51.000 You feel like you'd skate by.
01:59:52.000 The guy's jacked as hell.
01:59:54.000 Right, but some people just...
01:59:55.000 I guess they still only see the ugliness.
01:59:57.000 They don't see the results.
01:59:58.000 Maybe some people just want you to look at their body only.
02:00:01.000 Maybe that's what he's doing, but he's getting jacked as hell.
02:00:04.000 I think I'm going to have to go up to him at the gym like a complete lunatic.
02:00:07.000 Be like, hey, I was talking about you at Rogan.
02:00:08.000 What's up with the mask?
02:00:09.000 Yeah, bring it up.
02:00:10.000 Why not?
02:00:12.000 Maybe he has a disease.
02:00:14.000 Then I'm sitting there thinking, should I be wearing the mask?
02:00:17.000 Because then maybe I'll be squatting more.
02:00:18.000 Because he's clearly better at the gym than I am.
02:00:20.000 I don't think that's how it works.
02:00:21.000 Well, I don't know.
02:00:22.000 I'll take whatever help I can get.
02:00:23.000 Follow the science.
02:00:26.000 Yeah, I'm like, was this your cycle?
02:00:28.000 You wear the mask for 16 weeks, then you go out of a cruise.
02:00:30.000 Yeah, it's oxygen deprivation somehow or another that makes you inflate.
02:00:33.000 What are you most excited about?
02:00:35.000 Oh, let me talk about this book.
02:00:36.000 Yeah, you have a book.
02:00:37.000 I've been working on this for...
02:00:40.000 Two years.
02:00:41.000 The white pill.
02:00:42.000 The white pill.
02:00:43.000 What do you think, what is white pill for you?
02:00:46.000 It's optimism?
02:00:47.000 No.
02:00:47.000 The white pill is hope.
02:00:49.000 Hope, okay.
02:00:50.000 What's the difference between hope and optimism?
02:00:52.000 Because optimism means I think everything is going to work out.
02:00:55.000 And hope is, I'm not convinced that that's the case, but I'm certainly, like if someone has a deadly disease.
02:01:03.000 You may not be optimistic that you're going to be here five years, but you certainly have to live as if you are and have that hope that you're going to pull through.
02:01:11.000 That's true.
02:01:12.000 So that's kind of a big key difference because optimism, I think, is often foolish.
02:01:17.000 One of the reasons people get blackpilled or kind of give up hope because they keep thinking, oh, when Trump gets in or when Biden gets in or DeSantis, if someone gets in, everything's going to work out.
02:01:26.000 It's not how it works.
02:01:27.000 If you keep putting your eggs in the basket that this guy in a white horse is going to come and save you, We're good to go.
02:01:51.000 Well, it's kind of amazing that the country runs as smoothly as it does with Biden in charge.
02:01:55.000 I mean, it kind of shows you how the checks and balances and all the different branches of government are actually pretty effective in some way.
02:02:01.000 I mean, it's not a fucking perfect system by any stretch of the imagination, but the way it operates right now can operate with that guy as president.
02:02:08.000 I mean, I'm sure he's got a crack team behind him.
02:02:11.000 Oh, for sure.
02:02:12.000 Yeah.
02:02:13.000 Like the guy who steals luggage?
02:02:14.000 Oh, it's not funny.
02:02:15.000 Are they stealing the lamb?
02:02:17.000 Or did they catch him?
02:02:18.000 Oh, they got him.
02:02:19.000 Yeah, he got arrested.
02:02:21.000 Okay.
02:02:22.000 Yeah, because now they know that he's stolen, like, multiple bags, right?
02:02:24.000 Didn't they arrest him?
02:02:26.000 I feel like they arrested him.
02:02:27.000 I know he had warrants.
02:02:29.000 Yeah, I think he's fucked.
02:02:30.000 Yeah, because there was a woman who was a designer.
02:02:32.000 Right, I saw that.
02:02:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:02:33.000 He stole her, allegedly stole her clothes and was like wearing her very specific clothes.
02:02:38.000 Right, because there's something she wore to some award show or something.
02:02:41.000 Yeah, she's a designer, so she has like cool clothes.
02:02:43.000 So he's got a good eye.
02:02:45.000 Well, I don't think he knows.
02:02:46.000 I think he's just getting lucky and stealing people's luggage.
02:02:48.000 Is it kind of like if you play Russian Roulette enough times, you're going to hit the bullet?
02:02:51.000 Yeah, I think he just looks around at a bag.
02:02:53.000 It looks like a girl's bag and grabs it.
02:02:56.000 Yeah.
02:02:57.000 Oops, I thought it was mine.
02:02:58.000 That's why I took it out and put all the clothes on.
02:03:01.000 That happened to me once.
02:03:02.000 I was with a friend at a bar in Manhattan, and some girl just took her bag and was trying to play.
02:03:07.000 Like, oops, I got confused.
02:03:07.000 I'm like, you're lying.
02:03:08.000 And then she got offended while I didn't believe her bullshit.
02:03:10.000 I'm like, non-binary ex-nuclear...
02:03:13.000 Oh, that's the FBI. Wow.
02:03:15.000 Okay.
02:03:15.000 Investigated by the FBI for stealing fashion designers luggage at Washington Airport, but was he arrested?
02:03:20.000 He got investigated for that, but I thought he was charged with something because he got caught with more than one One time.
02:03:28.000 This is a different.
02:03:28.000 This would be a third time.
02:03:29.000 Holy crap.
02:03:30.000 Imagine if that's all his clothes It's like he doesn't want to go, because he has a beard and a mustache.
02:03:35.000 I don't want to go buy women's clothes.
02:03:36.000 People get mad at you.
02:03:37.000 Well, you have Amazon.
02:03:38.000 They don't get mad at you.
02:03:39.000 They'd be like, come on in.
02:03:40.000 Oh, my God.
02:03:41.000 Maybe.
02:03:42.000 Depends on where you're going.
02:03:43.000 Those white liberal women working those stores, they'd be tripping over themselves to have them.
02:03:47.000 Am I wrong?
02:03:48.000 Have them as a customer?
02:03:48.000 Some of them would.
02:03:49.000 Isn't that wild?
02:03:49.000 Of course.
02:03:50.000 Isn't that wild?
02:03:51.000 Like, what happened?
02:03:52.000 They hate Dad.
02:03:53.000 Is that what it is?
02:03:54.000 Yes.
02:03:54.000 This is their way to show Dad that much they hate him.
02:03:56.000 The patriarchy.
02:03:57.000 Yeah.
02:03:57.000 Yeah.
02:03:58.000 Oh my god, you're amazing.
02:04:00.000 You have lipstick on.
02:04:01.000 Oh my god.
02:04:01.000 Meanwhile, that's the patriarchy.
02:04:02.000 Men assuming...
02:04:03.000 Men taking over women's spaces.
02:04:05.000 The role of women.
02:04:05.000 Yeah.
02:04:06.000 And being the more dominant woman.
02:04:08.000 This is three weeks ago, though.
02:04:09.000 Okay.
02:04:09.000 It's on a timeline outboarder.
02:04:11.000 The FBI thing was reported a couple days ago.
02:04:13.000 Okay.
02:04:14.000 Oh, he's got layers of drama.
02:04:16.000 He's got some great lips.
02:04:18.000 Let's scroll down.
02:04:20.000 He looks like a Dick Tracy villain.
02:04:21.000 If convicted on the charge, Brenton, who previously served as Deputy Assistant Secretary for Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition at the Department of Energy's Office of Nuclear Energy, could face up to five years in prison, a $10,000 fine,
02:04:37.000 or both.
02:04:39.000 Wait, I didn't realize he stole this while he was working for the government.
02:04:42.000 I thought this was past shit that caught up to him.
02:04:44.000 No, no, no, no.
02:04:44.000 He's like constantly been doing it, I think.
02:04:46.000 Oh my god.
02:04:47.000 They caught him, I think this is the third time they know for sure he did it.
02:04:51.000 But he could have probably done it before and people just never, you know, bags wind up missing all the time, man.
02:04:56.000 But they caught him on film stealing someone else's bag.
02:05:00.000 So there's more than one instance of him definitely doing it.
02:05:03.000 Holy crap.
02:05:03.000 That was his move.
02:05:04.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:05:05.000 Probably got a cheap thrill out of it.
02:05:06.000 You know, do you remember when, you know, like sometimes like you'll find like a famous actress gets busted shop living.
02:05:12.000 Yeah.
02:05:13.000 Yeah, she got busted.
02:05:13.000 Like, what was that?
02:05:14.000 It was probably fucking fun.
02:05:16.000 Wild!
02:05:16.000 Well, it's not like she couldn't afford it.
02:05:18.000 Maybe she was high, so who knows.
02:05:20.000 It was a wild thrill.
02:05:20.000 I dated a girl in high school who got caught shoplifting.
02:05:23.000 Been caught stealing?
02:05:24.000 Yeah, she would do clothes.
02:05:28.000 She would go to a store and clothes she couldn't afford.
02:05:31.000 She'd put them on or put them on underneath her clothes and she got caught and busted.
02:05:35.000 It was like a big deal.
02:05:36.000 Dude, I'm going to confess something that I've never admitted to before here on this minor show that no one listens to or watches, so I'll be perfectly safe.
02:05:44.000 When I was in high school, my friend Arthur and I went to the New York Aquarium, and they have an estuary exhibit.
02:05:56.000 And in this estuary exhibit was a species of fish, which I found very unusual, which I really liked, called a spiny boxfish, which is not a boxfish.
02:06:04.000 It's a relative of the porcupine fish.
02:06:06.000 And we got a cup and it was a low tank, no cover, and we got it.
02:06:13.000 We stole the fish from the New York Aquarium.
02:06:16.000 How did you get it out?
02:06:17.000 You just get a cup.
02:06:18.000 The thing was an inch long.
02:06:19.000 It was a baby.
02:06:20.000 And we just got it with the cup.
02:06:22.000 Whatever happened to it?
02:06:23.000 I put it in my tank and it thrived for quite some time.
02:06:26.000 How long?
02:06:27.000 It must have been maybe months.
02:06:30.000 Wow.
02:06:30.000 Yeah.
02:06:31.000 So I stole a fish from the aquarium and I don't regret it for a second.
02:06:34.000 And they're very hard to take care of in captivity, that species.
02:06:37.000 Congratulations.
02:06:38.000 Thank you.
02:06:39.000 It's a good theft.
02:06:40.000 Yeah.
02:06:40.000 It's like, overall, did the fish have a worse life?
02:06:44.000 You definitely stole property.
02:06:45.000 I did steal property.
02:06:46.000 Public property.
02:06:47.000 But isn't it weird that life is property?
02:06:49.000 I remember what he did.
02:06:51.000 He put it...
02:06:52.000 No, no, no.
02:06:53.000 He put it on his head under his hat for a second until we got out of the room.
02:06:58.000 Like flopping around?
02:06:59.000 Yes.
02:06:59.000 Oh, Christ.
02:07:00.000 If I'm remembering correctly.
02:07:02.000 Oh, my God.
02:07:02.000 Then I also had a cup of water from Saltwater because of Saltwater Fish.
02:07:06.000 Oh, my God.
02:07:07.000 But we got it home.
02:07:09.000 I'll never...
02:07:10.000 Yeah, that was...
02:07:11.000 How long was the drive home?
02:07:12.000 Oh, it was a walk.
02:07:13.000 It was like a block.
02:07:13.000 Oh, okay.
02:07:14.000 Good, because how much oxygen is in that salt water?
02:07:17.000 That cup?
02:07:18.000 You're fine.
02:07:18.000 They could be in there for a day, easily.
02:07:20.000 Really?
02:07:20.000 Because there's no surface.
02:07:22.000 So if you just stir it, it's oxygenated.
02:07:24.000 Oh, you just got to stir it every now and then?
02:07:25.000 Yeah, they're perfectly fine, yeah.
02:07:27.000 Isn't that wild that that's where they get it?
02:07:29.000 What do you mean?
02:07:29.000 The oxygen in the water.
02:07:31.000 You could just stir it and they get oxygen in there.
02:07:33.000 Well, I mean, it's mixing at the surface.
02:07:35.000 I know, but isn't that crazy that that's how they breathe?
02:07:37.000 You have to do that to them?
02:07:39.000 Imagine if we found civilization underwater that existed breathing water the same way a fish does.
02:07:46.000 Why are fish all dumb?
02:07:47.000 They're not dumb at all.
02:07:48.000 What are you talking about?
02:07:48.000 They're dumb as fuck.
02:07:49.000 I'm now offended.
02:07:49.000 They're dumb as fuck.
02:07:50.000 Listen, the only thing that's smart- No, you listen.
02:07:52.000 Orcas are smart.
02:07:53.000 Orcas aren't fish.
02:07:54.000 Right.
02:07:54.000 Because they're not fish.
02:07:55.000 They're mammals.
02:07:55.000 Same as I was going to say.
02:07:57.000 Anything that breathes air is smart.
02:07:58.000 Everything that breathes underwater, fucking idiots.
02:08:01.000 That's not true.
02:08:02.000 Just running around eating each other and shit.
02:08:03.000 That's not true at all.
02:08:05.000 The only thing that's smart is octopuses.
02:08:06.000 Okay.
02:08:07.000 The guy who runs OctoNation, Warren, he lives in Austin too.
02:08:10.000 I've become pals with him.
02:08:11.000 So shout out to Warren.
02:08:13.000 Cuddlefish are smart too.
02:08:14.000 They just learned how to do the marshmallow test.
02:08:16.000 Oysters are dumb as fuck.
02:08:18.000 Oysters don't have brains.
02:08:19.000 Right.
02:08:19.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:08:20.000 These aren't fish.
02:08:21.000 They're not.
02:08:22.000 There are lots of fish species that are very intelligent.
02:08:26.000 Like which ones?
02:08:27.000 Porcupine fish, trigger fish.
02:08:28.000 The archer fish is an example of a smart fish species that can use tools to make life easier.
02:08:32.000 They're not smart.
02:08:32.000 Especially when it comes to feeding.
02:08:34.000 Archer fish squirt jets of water out to insects on plants and And they can recognize the size of the prey and adjust the size of their squirts accordingly.
02:08:43.000 But that's not an intelligence thing.
02:08:44.000 Like, they live in brackish water.
02:08:47.000 Yeah, there's like three or four species of them.
02:08:49.000 They have some in Dallas, the clouded archer, which are really kind of rare in captivity.
02:08:52.000 And they train them to eat, to shoot food that's on a glass little...
02:08:57.000 Adaptation is so strange.
02:08:58.000 But it's not the same thing as intelligence.
02:09:00.000 Intelligence is like problem solving.
02:09:01.000 If you look at like Triggerfish sculptures, the sculptures that they make and they rearrange their environment.
02:09:06.000 When you're having something that manipulates its environment, that's a sign of intelligence.
02:09:09.000 Triggerfish manipulate their environment and make sculptures?
02:09:11.000 Oh yeah, look up Triggerfish.
02:09:12.000 First of all, just for everybody, I was joking around about them being stupid.
02:09:15.000 Okay.
02:09:16.000 Okay.
02:09:17.000 They're pretty dumb though.
02:09:18.000 I mean, they don't even have cell phones.
02:09:20.000 They live in the ocean.
02:09:21.000 I tend to think people have cell phones tend to be dumb.
02:09:24.000 They didn't invent it though.
02:09:26.000 The reason I'm sensitive about this issue is the very first paycheck I ever got was writing for an aquarium magazine when I was in high school.
02:09:33.000 Okay.
02:09:34.000 Tropical fish hobbyist magazine.
02:09:35.000 So I've been on this train for a very long time.
02:09:39.000 The adaptation of animals on this planet is so bizarre sometimes that it confuses me like something is off in the laws of reality.
02:09:50.000 Like have you ever seen a viper caterpillar?
02:09:53.000 It's like a caterpillar that disguises itself as a viper.
02:09:56.000 The butt looks like a viper.
02:09:57.000 Like exactly, with eyeballs and everything, and a diamond-shaped head, which is what scares off other creatures.
02:10:05.000 Like that head represents venomous or predatory.
02:10:08.000 But what about ant spiders?
02:10:11.000 I don't know what an ant spider is.
02:10:12.000 A spider that looks like an ant, and spiders have eight legs, ants have six, so the spider's two front legs are always up in the air as if they're antennae, and they smell like the ants.
02:10:20.000 And there's another species of ant spider.
02:10:22.000 And they just hang around the ants and eat them?
02:10:24.000 I don't know if they eat the ants, but they certainly are protected, because think about it, if you're surrounded by ants, no one's attacking you.
02:10:28.000 And then there's a species of ant spider where the mandibles are stretched out so it looks like it's carrying a dead ant.
02:10:34.000 Whoa.
02:10:35.000 But that's not a sign of intelligence.
02:10:37.000 No, just adaptation.
02:10:38.000 Yeah.
02:10:38.000 But that adaptation is insane.
02:10:40.000 Whoa.
02:10:41.000 These are cuttlefish structures?
02:10:43.000 Triggerfish.
02:10:44.000 Triggerfish didn't give me anything.
02:10:45.000 I had to type in which fish makes sculptures.
02:10:47.000 Okay.
02:10:47.000 I said it was a pufferfish.
02:10:49.000 Oh, pufferfish.
02:10:49.000 Okay.
02:10:49.000 Oh, pufferfish.
02:10:50.000 Same order.
02:10:51.000 Look how beautiful that is.
02:10:52.000 Yeah.
02:10:52.000 That's amazing because it's geometrical.
02:10:55.000 And if you have them in your tank at home, they'll rearrange the furniture to make it more to their liking.
02:11:00.000 Whoa.
02:11:00.000 Yeah.
02:11:01.000 That's wild.
02:11:02.000 I wonder why they do that.
02:11:04.000 To mate.
02:11:05.000 Courtship.
02:11:06.000 Yeah.
02:11:06.000 Just show bitches how your house looks.
02:11:08.000 Yeah, look.
02:11:08.000 Look at this.
02:11:08.000 Check out my house, yo.
02:11:09.000 It's amazing.
02:11:11.000 I'm a puffer fish.
02:11:11.000 What about like, what, bowerbirds, right?
02:11:13.000 When they make these big, huge structures and anything blue they put in there because apparently the females like blue.
02:11:22.000 Really?
02:11:22.000 Yeah.
02:11:23.000 Wow.
02:11:46.000 It is fascinating that that world exists right next to our world.
02:11:50.000 And supposedly life in the ocean, I mean, all life came at one point in time from water, right?
02:11:58.000 Right.
02:11:59.000 That's the thought process.
02:12:00.000 So they evolved on their path.
02:12:03.000 We evolved on our path.
02:12:05.000 But on the ground, you manipulate things more.
02:12:08.000 The ground intelligent creatures manipulate things more.
02:12:11.000 So we have this idea in our head that we're smarter than like dolphins and orcas.
02:12:14.000 They actually have larger brains than ours.
02:12:18.000 Dolphins are bizarrely intelligent.
02:12:20.000 We don't even know how intelligent they are.
02:12:22.000 But they just don't need to exhibit any sort of control over their environment the way we do.
02:12:27.000 It's harder for them because they don't have hands, obviously.
02:12:30.000 They didn't evolve that.
02:12:31.000 They didn't need to manipulate their physical environment because they can move through 3D space as a dolphin and they can just eat fish.
02:12:39.000 Follow them around and stay in the warm waters, and they're good.
02:12:42.000 There was no need to get to the place where we are, where we're just a subject to so many different animals and so many different invading tribes and all the crazy shit.
02:12:51.000 Their environment's a lot more stable than ours.
02:12:54.000 Yeah.
02:12:54.000 That's a tusk fish.
02:12:56.000 It's a type of wrasse.
02:12:57.000 Breaks clams.
02:12:58.000 Well, then you think about, like, white sand beaches, and all those white sand beaches are made by fish.
02:13:04.000 Parrotfish, right?
02:13:04.000 Yeah.
02:13:05.000 I mean, what?
02:13:07.000 How many fucking parrotfish, and how long?
02:13:10.000 Like, what are you talking about?
02:13:11.000 It's many, many, what, hundreds of thousands of years, no?
02:13:13.000 Crazy!
02:13:14.000 And when they shit, you could see a cloud of sand come out their ass.
02:13:17.000 And we're just running nets through this place, just scooping up everything we can and serving it as sushi.
02:13:23.000 No, that's not true.
02:13:25.000 No, I'm not saying right here at this.
02:13:27.000 I'm not doing protected reefs, but in the ocean, the overfishing in the ocean is out of fucking control.
02:13:32.000 They're not going to be there because they eat coral.
02:13:34.000 No, these ones.
02:13:36.000 Yeah, of course, these animals.
02:13:37.000 That's a protected reef, but I'm saying the ocean in general.
02:13:40.000 The ocean in general, you ever seen those...
02:13:44.000 Documentaries.
02:13:44.000 There's been quite a few that they do in the Japanese fish markets where these guys bring in these big tunas and they auction them.
02:13:50.000 People don't realize how big these tunas are.
02:13:52.000 They're massive.
02:13:52.000 They're like the size of an SUV. But these guys all talk about how much less tuna there is now.
02:13:57.000 Okay.
02:13:57.000 It's much harder to get tuna than it used to be.
02:13:59.000 And it's not that easy to farm them either.
02:14:01.000 They're fucking big, man.
02:14:03.000 They're big.
02:14:04.000 You know, they had a storm that hit Hawaii and they had a bunch of yellowtail that they were farming.
02:14:09.000 So they had like this whole area.
02:14:11.000 Yellowtail snapper?
02:14:13.000 It's like, no, yellowtail's like a tuna.
02:14:16.000 It's like in the tuna family, I believe.
02:14:18.000 And it was, you know, it's like a really aggressive fighting fish.
02:14:25.000 It's delicious too.
02:14:26.000 You know, people love them for sushi.
02:14:27.000 I think they were actually breeding them for sushi.
02:14:29.000 So a storm hit anyway.
02:14:31.000 And their enclosure fucked up, got fucked up by a storm, and they all got out.
02:14:35.000 And so people were catching them.
02:14:36.000 I caught a couple of them.
02:14:38.000 How big were they?
02:14:39.000 They were pretty big.
02:14:40.000 You know, like 10 pounds, 15 pounds.
02:14:42.000 That's the size of a fish.
02:14:43.000 It was like that big.
02:14:44.000 Big fucker.
02:14:45.000 Great fighters.
02:14:46.000 And delicious.
02:14:47.000 We ate them.
02:14:48.000 We were staying at the Four Seasons in Maui.
02:14:50.000 Bring them back and the chef cooks it for you.
02:14:52.000 It was amazing.
02:14:52.000 But that's part of the peril of those sort of farming operations.
02:14:59.000 You have to kind of do them in the ocean.
02:15:00.000 So you have to segment off a spot in the ocean and net it up and not let anything get in there.
02:15:06.000 But Storm fucked that up.
02:15:08.000 Yeah, because they can't keep them in tanks or they have the tanks big enough.
02:15:11.000 The water quality is not going to be the same as it is in the ocean with the micronutrients and things like that.
02:15:16.000 Yeah.
02:15:17.000 I don't know what they feed them.
02:15:19.000 I don't know how they do it.
02:15:20.000 They probably dump stuff out of boats or something.
02:15:22.000 Yeah.
02:15:23.000 They just try to fatten them up for sushi markets.
02:15:26.000 Have you ever seen this thing, a tuna boil?
02:15:28.000 Yeah.
02:15:28.000 I've seen that with, I think they're called Jack Cravales in Mexico.
02:15:32.000 I was fishing in Mexico.
02:15:34.000 And you would just cast a line into that chaos and immediately you would catch a fish.
02:15:41.000 Like immediately.
02:15:42.000 That's what they thought that shark thing was we pulled up last week.
02:15:44.000 And they got up close to it and it turns out it wasn't.
02:15:46.000 Just tuna.
02:15:48.000 It was a bunch of fucking sharks eating them.
02:15:50.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
02:15:52.000 So the tunas are going crazy and the sharks are going crazy at the same time.
02:15:55.000 Because don't the tuna circle schools of smaller fish and make them into balls and then the sharks circle the tuna or whoever, whatever it is.
02:16:01.000 Look at the size of the boil.
02:16:03.000 Like, look at how many sharks there are.
02:16:05.000 Hundreds.
02:16:07.000 Chaos.
02:16:08.000 Chaos.
02:16:08.000 You imagine if you just said, I hate life, and just fucking swan-dived into that?
02:16:13.000 Good lord.
02:16:14.000 You imagine the end?
02:16:15.000 Like, how long it would take for them to just rip your shreds?
02:16:18.000 I don't think it would be that easy.
02:16:20.000 What are you talking about?
02:16:21.000 Jump in and find out, then.
02:16:23.000 Bro, you're made out of Play-Doh.
02:16:24.000 I wish I could go one episode of this show that Jamie tell me to kill myself.
02:16:27.000 They'd bite through you like a Twinkie.
02:16:30.000 Why would you think that it would be hard for them?
02:16:32.000 I'm not saying it would be hard.
02:16:33.000 I'm saying it's not at all intuitive to me that immediately they've been going after me.
02:16:36.000 Because they're not going after each other, right?
02:16:38.000 So they're going after things that are small.
02:16:40.000 I bet they're biting each other, too.
02:16:41.000 You think so?
02:16:42.000 Yeah.
02:16:43.000 I bet they're accidentally biting each other.
02:16:45.000 Sure.
02:16:45.000 Right.
02:16:46.000 So the first one, accidentally, then I'm bleeding, then I'm fucked.
02:16:48.000 You're fucked.
02:16:48.000 Because then they're swarming me.
02:16:49.000 I think you're fucked right away.
02:16:51.000 I think you're fucked right away.
02:16:52.000 I don't...
02:16:53.000 This is possibly up to hundreds of the sharks were in there.
02:16:56.000 Wow.
02:16:57.000 At least dozens, if not hundreds.
02:16:59.000 I think every person that jumped into that would be fucked immediately.
02:17:03.000 I think if you hated, you know, a guy and you wanted to get rid of him.
02:17:06.000 I don't think I'm getting out.
02:17:08.000 I'm not saying that.
02:17:08.000 I'm just saying I don't think it would be like piranhas where it's instant.
02:17:11.000 Piranhas aren't instant.
02:17:12.000 If you're bleeding, it aren't.
02:17:14.000 No, they cut things and they bite things.
02:17:16.000 Like this idea that they get a burn right through you.
02:17:18.000 I used to keep piranhas.
02:17:19.000 Yeah, but hold on.
02:17:20.000 A piranha in a tank is not the same as a piranha in the Amazon.
02:17:23.000 I've seen the piranhas in the Amazon.
02:17:24.000 I'm not defending piranhas.
02:17:26.000 I'm not defending the piranhas.
02:17:27.000 I'm not saying they're safe or anything, but the way a shark does it, like sharks take enormous chunks out of your body.
02:17:34.000 Piranhas like go through you eventually.
02:17:36.000 Yeah, but the- They're pretty impressive, the way they swarm.
02:17:40.000 That's the thing, the swarming.
02:17:41.000 Sharks are doing that too, man.
02:17:42.000 They don't swarm in the same way.
02:17:44.000 That's what it looked like over there.
02:17:46.000 Yeah, but that's because I don't think it's the same thing.
02:17:49.000 If you threw like a dead dolphin on top of that, you don't think they would tear apart that the same way these fish are tearing apart this dead fish?
02:17:57.000 It would be the same thing.
02:17:59.000 This is the strangest argument I've ever been, and I don't disagree with you.
02:18:02.000 I agree with you completely that if you threw in a dead dolphin there or in the Amazon, that they'd be dismembered in seconds.
02:18:08.000 I don't think we're in a disagreement.
02:18:10.000 I think we got caught up in a little bit of a dick-waving contest there.
02:18:17.000 Okay, I want to hear what you're most excited about with the club.
02:18:21.000 I'm just excited to have it and to make a place in Austin where comics can work out all the time.
02:18:28.000 I just want it where people can develop.
02:18:31.000 We're going to have a nice open mic program.
02:18:33.000 We brought in Adam Egott, who is the talent coordinator for the Comedy Store, and we brought him in and we brought this great staff in with a specific idea to make it a place where comics can start out, develop, become professional.
02:18:49.000 There's a clear path.
02:18:51.000 Instead of...
02:18:51.000 Comedy has always been, like, very difficult for people to go from being an open-miker to being a professional to making it.
02:18:58.000 If you go to an open-mic night, open-mic nights are littered with people who are talented that, for whatever reason, they didn't get enough breaks where it encouraged them to keep going, and they, you know, had other opportunities in life, which most smart people do, and they did something else, and then maybe they came back to it later,
02:19:13.000 and then they realized how far behind they were for the other people that were already...
02:19:17.000 Now they're working professionals now, and they start thinking, fuck...
02:19:20.000 I could be out there like Big Jay Oakerson.
02:19:22.000 I could be out there like Ari Shafir.
02:19:24.000 And they never really make it.
02:19:26.000 And there's a lot of funny people that never really make it.
02:19:28.000 It's real weird.
02:19:29.000 And I think every other art form has like a very clear path.
02:19:35.000 Like, if you are a concert pianist, you can learn how to play piano.
02:19:40.000 You can take lessons.
02:19:42.000 You can get better at it.
02:19:43.000 You can learn how to play guitar.
02:19:44.000 Someone will teach you how to make the chords and make the notes and all this stuff.
02:19:48.000 I don't know how to play guitar.
02:19:49.000 I'm just talking.
02:19:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:19:50.000 I got you.
02:19:52.000 The thing about comedy is you have to figure it out on your own, and everybody figures it out differently because there's so many different fucking styles.
02:19:58.000 There's Jay London style.
02:19:59.000 There's Louis C.K.'s style.
02:20:01.000 There's so many styles.
02:20:02.000 There's Chris Rock style.
02:20:04.000 Everybody has a different way of being funny.
02:20:06.000 And you need a place where you know that they are hoping that you get better, and they want you to get better.
02:20:13.000 Not just like a dog-eat-dog world like the store used to be.
02:20:17.000 Or like a lot of these other places are, but a place that encourages people to be better and to get better at comedy.
02:20:24.000 And gives you a place where you can try it out and you can get to see, like, one of the things about the store that was so great is, you know, Chris Rock would come into town and he would go and do a set and we'd all sit in the back and watch.
02:20:35.000 Like, you get a chance to watch the best comics in the world all the time.
02:20:39.000 And I think we could do that here.
02:20:41.000 I think it's a service to comedy.
02:20:43.000 I think it'd be great for all of us.
02:20:45.000 Selfishly, it'd be great for me.
02:20:46.000 And so that's why I decided to do it.
02:20:48.000 I think Austin is a lot better of a place to have this kind of camaraderie and less cynicism than New York and LA. I think those cities, especially LA from my understanding, are far more competitive in a negative sense where you think if someone's succeeding, it's because, you know, it's at your expense.
02:21:04.000 Whereas everything I've seen here, everyone who's making it happen are so into helping each other out and having each other's back and being like fans of one another.
02:21:11.000 That was an environment that we fostered at the Comedy Store.
02:21:14.000 And I think that environment, a lot of it came out of the recognition that in the world of podcasting, we're no longer competitors to each other.
02:21:22.000 We're actually assets to each other.
02:21:23.000 And being friends with people like you, or being friends with Lex, or being friends with any comics, you want other people to know about them.
02:21:31.000 Yeah.
02:21:32.000 Everybody benefits from...
02:21:34.000 People generally know that if I have someone on, especially like you who's been on more than once, I like them, and they're fun, and we have cool conversations.
02:21:42.000 So they go and gravitate towards you.
02:21:45.000 It helps them trust me and my taste for guests, and it helps you, and it elevates everybody.
02:21:51.000 It used to not be that way.
02:21:53.000 It used to be everybody was competing to be Seinfeld.
02:21:55.000 There's only one Seinfeld.
02:21:57.000 He's the star of the show.
02:21:58.000 There's only one time slot.
02:21:59.000 It's like fucking Thursday night at 8 p.m.
02:22:03.000 That's when it is.
02:22:04.000 No one gets that spot other than Seinfeld.
02:22:06.000 You gotta wait until he retires.
02:22:08.000 And so then there's the Friends spot, and there's the Caroline and the City spot.
02:22:12.000 There's a very small number of things and if you got that it was life-changing and people around people got those things and their life changed and they're driving a Mercedes and you're the same fucking guy in a Hyundai and you do better than him.
02:22:24.000 Like you go up at Wednesday night at 10 p.m.
02:22:26.000 and maybe he struggles following you, but it doesn't matter because he got a fucking sitcom.
02:22:29.000 Right.
02:22:30.000 And the sitcom was like the holy grail.
02:22:32.000 That was the thing that everybody wanted.
02:22:34.000 And so everybody got like hyper competitive and looked at each other as being like an impediment.
02:22:40.000 Like there was a, you're going to be in competition with me for my dream.
02:22:46.000 Right, I don't have it because you took it from me.
02:22:49.000 Yeah, well that's how people thought.
02:22:50.000 I could have been that guy.
02:22:51.000 There was a lot of those guys that were like hanging around the Comedy Store when I first got there in 94 that missed the Kinnison wave.
02:22:57.000 There's waves that come or like great comics come through and along with them a lot of other great comics come.
02:23:03.000 There's like the Kinnison, Bill Hicks and there were so many guys that came along during that time and Dice Clay and some guys just missed that wave.
02:23:11.000 They just didn't put it together for whatever reason.
02:23:14.000 And there was a lot of those guys that were hanging around the store when I got there.
02:23:18.000 It was not good.
02:23:21.000 Comics rely on community.
02:23:23.000 It's a very important part of what we do.
02:23:26.000 You have fun with each other.
02:23:28.000 You support each other.
02:23:31.000 You laugh with each other.
02:23:32.000 It's fun.
02:23:33.000 Stanhope once famously said, I could give up comedy, but I couldn't give up comedians.
02:23:37.000 Yeah, when I'm hanging out with you guys backstage at Vulcan, everyone is so friendly, and they're busting each other's balls, of course, but it's really welcoming.
02:23:46.000 It's fun!
02:23:47.000 It's how New York was at some times and some places, but there's a lot of, in New York, this kind of, like, who's this guy?
02:23:54.000 What can he do for me?
02:23:55.000 You know, what's his follower count?
02:23:57.000 What's this?
02:23:58.000 What's that?
02:23:58.000 And I don't feel that here.
02:24:00.000 We had managed to avoid a lot of that in LA at the store at one point in time.
02:24:04.000 It wasn't all of us, though, because the store has all kinds of different personalities.
02:24:08.000 And some personalities don't feel like they're getting their just-do, and some personalities are bitter, and some personalities are angry that someone is successful or famous, that people like them.
02:24:18.000 It's just wasted energy.
02:24:20.000 But there's always going to be those people when you have those hyper-competitive environments that aren't supportive.
02:24:26.000 It's a thing that you learn coming up.
02:24:28.000 If you learn that, you see how...
02:24:30.000 Have you ever seen a guy who steals and he brings opening axe and the opening axe starts stealing?
02:24:35.000 That used to be a real thing.
02:24:36.000 What?
02:24:37.000 Really?
02:24:37.000 Yeah.
02:24:37.000 Guys who steal, they would have opening axe and those opening axe would be stealing too because they learned from the guy who was the big guy.
02:24:44.000 Oh, God.
02:24:44.000 Yeah.
02:24:45.000 So there was a few of those guys that would go on the road and steal.
02:24:48.000 And a lot of their opening acts would wind up be joke buccaneers, too.
02:24:52.000 And it'd be a real problem.
02:24:53.000 And we realized, we'd say, oh, he worked with him.
02:24:55.000 And we'd be like, oh, okay.
02:24:57.000 And then he thinks it's okay, because it's like you follow your mentors.
02:25:00.000 Or he thinks, this is just what they do.
02:25:01.000 This is what people do.
02:25:03.000 No one makes up jokes.
02:25:04.000 I heard it somewhere.
02:25:05.000 Yeah.
02:25:06.000 Everyone thinks the same things.
02:25:08.000 There's only seven jokes.
02:25:09.000 Well, it's also the kind of thing where the guy tells, like, Simpsons quotes at a party, so he's funny, so he's like, why can't I just do this on stage?
02:25:14.000 He's not going to think anything's weird that I'm doing Simpsons jokes on stage, or like, whatever jokes.
02:25:19.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:25:21.000 Exactly.
02:25:22.000 It's a weird thing, man.
02:25:24.000 It's like creativity depends upon so many different factors.
02:25:29.000 And we're definitely influenced by each other, but I think it's in a positive way.
02:25:34.000 I think when it crosses over into negativity, that's when it becomes a problem.
02:25:37.000 People get competitive in terms of like they're taking people's premises or taking people's ideas and twisting them around like, hey, Like you're doing something squirrelly you're doing and there's like different levels of that like some people do it and it's just out-and-out thievery and some people do it and it's just like they both have the same thought parallel thinking is a real common situation especially with like A lot of social issues and a lot of times the punchline is gonna be something that two people came up with the same time because kind of obvious,
02:26:06.000 you know, absolutely and Happens all the time.
02:26:08.000 But there's a difference between that and the whole set.
02:26:10.000 Fievery.
02:26:10.000 Because you see guys working out.
02:26:13.000 You see them trying new stuff.
02:26:14.000 You see the bits develop.
02:26:16.000 I work with Hinchcliffe all the time.
02:26:18.000 And he's always got new shit.
02:26:19.000 And he's always got this new idea.
02:26:20.000 And he's always reworking it.
02:26:22.000 And we're talking about it.
02:26:23.000 And game planning it.
02:26:25.000 And try it like this.
02:26:25.000 And what about that?
02:26:26.000 And he comes up with new taglines where we're all hanging around backstage.
02:26:30.000 And then he tries them the next day, they kill.
02:26:32.000 Some of the best jokes that Hinchcliffe has ever come up with, he came up making me laugh while we were on drives, like in between shows.
02:26:38.000 So that hang is so important.
02:26:40.000 Do you think, because I'm getting this sense, but I'm obviously not a professional comedian, that a lot of this kind of so-called woke culture, whatever, that's been supposedly killing comedy, I feel like that's receding and that there is a lot of space, especially here, to tell jokes whatever the hell you want without fear of repercussion.
02:26:57.000 Yeah, and you know what?
02:26:58.000 One of the big supporting factors of that idea is Kill Tony.
02:27:02.000 Yeah.
02:27:02.000 Because Kill Tony, you get one minute, and the comedians are ruthless and hilarious, and they're all like Roseanne's on there, and all these killers that come into town.
02:27:11.000 Shane Gillis, all these people go and guest on that show, and comics get one minute.
02:27:16.000 And if they do well, everybody supports them and cheers them on.
02:27:32.000 I think we can provide that here.
02:27:39.000 Yeah.
02:27:39.000 And I've seen it firsthand already.
02:27:41.000 I've been to Kill Tony.
02:27:42.000 It's a lot of fun.
02:27:43.000 It's a lot of fun.
02:27:44.000 And I think it's really important for setting the tone.
02:27:47.000 It's just about funny.
02:27:48.000 This is not about you espousing your social values.
02:27:51.000 And there's a kind of a thing, a claptor thing that some of these kids are getting sucked into, where you're trying to espouse social values.
02:28:00.000 I've seen people actually say, if you're not using your comedy to elevate social justice, then fuck you.
02:28:07.000 No, no, no.
02:28:08.000 You're just not good.
02:28:09.000 You're just not good.
02:28:10.000 You're not good at this thing that we all do and love.
02:28:12.000 Like when we watch people that are great comics that have a social message, whether it's Dave Chappelle or whether it's George Carlin or whoever it is, they have that with jokes.
02:28:23.000 Right.
02:28:23.000 The most important part is that it has to be funny.
02:28:26.000 You get a certain amount of juice from going for the social justice angle where people are like, yes, and they clap.
02:28:33.000 And you can get addicted to that, but that's not what you're there for.
02:28:35.000 You're there to make them laugh.
02:28:37.000 You can't just say something and hope they clap with you.
02:28:41.000 You should figure out a way to make that funny.
02:28:44.000 That's what we do.
02:28:45.000 And you don't have to.
02:28:46.000 By the way, if you want to do claptor and fill audiences with, you know, people that are fucking inside your wheelhouse and they like to hear you say the things that they think, fine.
02:28:57.000 That's great.
02:28:58.000 It's shocking to me how much late night comedy has fallen.
02:29:01.000 And because there's a lot more than when we were young.
02:29:03.000 Used to be like Johnny Carson and Letterman after him, right?
02:29:06.000 How many?
02:29:07.000 There's like 10 of them now.
02:29:08.000 The fact that Hennessy rates...
02:29:10.000 Isn't a household term that when Hunter Biden was texting his lawyer, like, don't charge me no Hennessy rates.
02:29:15.000 Like, that's such a funny expression.
02:29:17.000 I didn't know that.
02:29:18.000 Yeah.
02:29:19.000 You said Hennessy?
02:29:20.000 What does that mean by Hennessy rates?
02:29:22.000 Expensive.
02:29:22.000 Don't charge me no Hennessy rates.
02:29:24.000 Oh, Hennessy's expensive liquor.
02:29:25.000 That's funny.
02:29:25.000 So, like, that is such a joke waiting to happen.
02:29:28.000 The fact that this isn't, like, being beaten...
02:29:30.000 You have a dementia patient with a crackhead son.
02:29:34.000 Like, the punchlines...
02:29:35.000 I'm not a comedian.
02:29:36.000 The punchlines write themselves.
02:29:37.000 But they're so...
02:29:39.000 Invested in this bizarre partisanship that you can think Biden's a joke and still think Trump's an asshole.
02:29:46.000 A hundred percent.
02:29:47.000 And for you to deny it is not doing your cause any justice.
02:29:51.000 You need to look at what you're seeing and talk about it accurately.
02:29:55.000 And just because you think that somehow or another talking badly about Biden is going to make Trump become president...
02:30:01.000 Shut up.
02:30:02.000 Right?
02:30:02.000 Shut the fuck up.
02:30:03.000 That's not your job.
02:30:04.000 Your job is to point out what's funny.
02:30:05.000 What's funny is this guy keeps falling upstairs.
02:30:08.000 He's clearly deteriorating before our eyes, and everybody wants to pretend it's not happening.
02:30:15.000 It's just madness.
02:30:16.000 You know that your brain's fucked up when you fall up the stairs.
02:30:20.000 Dude, it's not.
02:30:21.000 Well, first of all, why they got him in those slippery shoes?
02:30:23.000 Put some fucking rubber-soled shoes on that man.
02:30:27.000 You know, don't give him those goddamn dress shoes with the slippery surfaces.
02:30:29.000 Is that what he's wearing?
02:30:31.000 Those are fucking slideies.
02:30:32.000 Is that what it is?
02:30:33.000 I can fall upstairs with like a pair of cowboy boots on or something.
02:30:36.000 If you don't rough them up on the bottom, those shits are fucking slippery.
02:30:40.000 Have you ever put on like dress shoes with the hard leather soles?
02:30:44.000 No.
02:30:44.000 Oh my god, if you do and you try to walk on carpet- It's like ice skating?
02:30:47.000 It's totally like ice skating.
02:30:48.000 You could slide.
02:30:50.000 You could slide on those things.
02:30:51.000 Like a real leather soled dress shoe?
02:30:54.000 You gotta scuff the shit out of those bitches.
02:30:57.000 Yeah, I got a pair from David August.
02:30:59.000 They're really nice, and they're dress shoes, but I don't fucking wear them.
02:31:02.000 Like, I have to go outside and sandpaper the fuck out of them before I can walk around on them.
02:31:06.000 The pair of dress shoes I have are made out of seal leather, which I didn't know was a thing.
02:31:12.000 They're vintage, so I wear them every chance I get, and they are very scuffed on the bottom, for sure, because they're from the 70s.
02:31:18.000 But they look absolutely amazing.
02:31:20.000 I have a pair of alligator shoes.
02:31:22.000 Oh, okay.
02:31:22.000 Like boots?
02:31:23.000 They're like dress shoes.
02:31:25.000 Yeah.
02:31:25.000 Gators.
02:31:26.000 Those are cool.
02:31:27.000 That's sweet.
02:31:27.000 That's for pimps.
02:31:28.000 Yeah.
02:31:29.000 Sweet.
02:31:30.000 There's people like ostrich, anteater, those are the other ones.
02:31:34.000 Stingray.
02:31:34.000 Derek Wolf, the football player, was here the other day and he had his friend Alex was here and his friend Alex has these boots on that were made out of fish.
02:31:42.000 It was fish skin.
02:31:43.000 Some fucking giant fish from the Amazon.
02:31:46.000 Arapaima?
02:31:47.000 I think it's arapaima.
02:31:48.000 Yeah.
02:31:48.000 I think it's that.
02:31:50.000 See what boots they make out of fish skin.
02:31:52.000 I think it could be...
02:31:53.000 They call it barramundi is another name for it.
02:31:54.000 Oh, yeah.
02:31:55.000 That's it, I think.
02:31:56.000 I think so.
02:31:57.000 I think that's it.
02:31:58.000 Because he was wearing these...
02:31:59.000 I go, what the fuck are those?
02:32:00.000 I go, those are dope.
02:32:01.000 They were like this crazy pattern on the front of his boot.
02:32:04.000 I go, what is that?
02:32:05.000 He's like, it's actually fish skin.
02:32:06.000 Yeah.
02:32:06.000 I think it's barramundi.
02:32:08.000 I could be talking out of my ass on this one, but I don't know.
02:32:10.000 They go hard with cowboy boots around here.
02:32:11.000 Yeah, I haven't got...
02:32:13.000 Oh, yeah.
02:32:14.000 What is it?
02:32:16.000 Oh, Picaru.
02:32:18.000 Oh, those are the ones with the huge fangs.
02:32:20.000 Is that what it looked like?
02:32:21.000 Because it might not be that.
02:32:22.000 That's definitely it, man.
02:32:23.000 If you look up what that fish looks like, if I'm thinking about the right thing, I think they're the ones with the giant fangs.
02:32:27.000 Look that up.
02:32:29.000 They look crazy.
02:32:31.000 Pira...
02:32:31.000 How do you say it?
02:32:32.000 Piraruku.
02:32:33.000 Piraruku.
02:32:36.000 Wow.
02:32:36.000 If I'm thinking of the right fish.
02:32:37.000 What does that look like?
02:32:38.000 Oh, it's bringing up boots.
02:32:40.000 So that might be it.
02:32:41.000 Interesting.
02:32:42.000 Fish.
02:32:45.000 Oh, it is.
02:32:45.000 Okay, it's an arapaima.
02:32:46.000 Yeah, look at the size of that fucker.
02:32:48.000 So the skin on them is so tough, they turn them into fucking cowboy boots.
02:32:53.000 Isn't that wild?
02:32:53.000 Then the one I'm thinking of is the piara, I think, which have these fangs that go into their forehead.
02:32:58.000 Look at that dinosaur.
02:33:00.000 They're the largest freshwater fish.
02:33:01.000 No, the paddlefish are, but they're up there.
02:33:04.000 Sturgeons are pretty goddamn large, too, though.
02:33:06.000 Aren't they the largest?
02:33:07.000 I think it goes...
02:33:09.000 Paddlefish first?
02:33:10.000 They say arapaima would be the heaviest.
02:33:14.000 Arapaima is something.
02:33:15.000 Paddlefish is something.
02:33:16.000 You know what's the wildest shit?
02:33:17.000 The what?
02:33:18.000 The wildest shit we have.
02:33:19.000 What?
02:33:20.000 Alligator gars.
02:33:21.000 Do you know about alligator gars?
02:33:22.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
02:33:22.000 They come in different colors.
02:33:24.000 Have you seen the platinum ones?
02:33:25.000 I've seen black ones.
02:33:26.000 Yeah, they're gorgeous.
02:33:27.000 Melanistic.
02:33:28.000 But they are fucking huge.
02:33:30.000 Look at the platinum ones.
02:33:31.000 They're beautiful.
02:33:32.000 Oh my god, look at that thing.
02:33:33.000 That's a goddamn dinosaur.
02:33:34.000 Yeah, they're living fossils.
02:33:37.000 Yeah, 100%.
02:33:38.000 And their skin, like when they cut their skin, you have to cut it with metal shears.
02:33:43.000 Do you really?
02:33:43.000 Yeah.
02:33:44.000 Yeah, their skin is like fucking armor.
02:33:46.000 Like to cut through their scales, you can't just use a knife.
02:33:49.000 You have to be like, clamp, clamp, clamp, like you're fucking breaking into a chain link fence.
02:33:53.000 Like no bullshit.
02:33:54.000 See if you can find alligator guard that they caught.
02:33:58.000 Yeah, look at that one that that dude has that he's holding up.
02:34:01.000 Bro, that's bonkers.
02:34:02.000 Look at the size of that thing.
02:34:03.000 Look at that one down there.
02:34:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:34:05.000 The 300 pound one.
02:34:06.000 Oh my god!
02:34:07.000 300 pounds.
02:34:09.000 Just imagine that.
02:34:10.000 And they obviously live for a very long time.
02:34:12.000 Very long time.
02:34:13.000 And that's the skin.
02:34:15.000 I guess they take that skin and they turn it into leather.
02:34:18.000 Wow.
02:34:19.000 And they also use hagfish leather.
02:34:21.000 They have a lot of those out here.
02:34:23.000 A lot of alligator gars are in Texas.
02:34:25.000 My friends from Canada came down to some place in Texas specifically to hunt alligator gars.
02:34:30.000 Really?
02:34:31.000 Yeah, they catch them.
02:34:32.000 It must be pretty easy because they're surface.
02:34:34.000 I don't know.
02:34:35.000 I don't know if it's easy.
02:34:35.000 I've never done it, but I do know that they taste delicious when they smoke them.
02:34:39.000 They smoke alligator gar.
02:34:41.000 Well, smoked any kind of fish is amazing.
02:34:43.000 Yeah, but that stuff's supposed to be really good.
02:34:44.000 H-E-B has smoked tuna now, and it's really good, and it can.
02:34:48.000 302, wow.
02:34:48.000 302 pounds, largest alligator gar ever caught in Texas.
02:34:52.000 See if you can find the photo of that.
02:34:55.000 Man.
02:34:55.000 That's a 1953. Look at that one right there!
02:34:58.000 Jesus Christ!
02:34:59.000 Look at the head on that thing.
02:35:01.000 Can you click on that?
02:35:03.000 See what that video shows?
02:35:05.000 Oh, this guy's got one.
02:35:07.000 A landing that thing must be a nightmare.
02:35:09.000 Oh my god, must take hours.
02:35:12.000 Holy crap.
02:35:12.000 Look at that thing!
02:35:13.000 Holy shit, man!
02:35:18.000 Look at the size of that fucker.
02:35:21.000 It looks like an alligator.
02:35:24.000 Holy crap.
02:35:25.000 Yeah, right.
02:35:26.000 Yeah.
02:35:27.000 He says that's 300 pounds.
02:35:29.000 And those teeth are like needles.
02:35:30.000 Is that somewhere outside of Texas?
02:35:33.000 Or is that- where did he catch that?
02:35:35.000 They might be bigger somewhere else.
02:35:38.000 Because that's the biggest one they ever caught in Texas.
02:35:40.000 That thing's fucking huge.
02:35:41.000 Have you ever had Jeremy Wade on the show?
02:35:44.000 Is that the guy from River Monsters?
02:35:46.000 No, I have not.
02:35:47.000 I love that guy, though.
02:35:48.000 I love that show.
02:35:49.000 Oh, he's letting it go now.
02:35:50.000 Isn't that fucked up, like the catch and release thing?
02:35:52.000 They're just fucking with that fish's life.
02:35:54.000 That's better than killing it.
02:35:56.000 Well, then why do it?
02:35:58.000 So if you catch someone and kick their ass, it's better than killing them.
02:36:01.000 So just go around catching people and kicking their ass.
02:36:04.000 Wait, wait.
02:36:05.000 It is better to kick their ass than kill them.
02:36:07.000 It is, definitely.
02:36:08.000 Yeah.
02:36:08.000 But should you do it?
02:36:09.000 Should you go around catching people and kicking their ass?
02:36:11.000 Well, yeah.
02:36:12.000 Because it's better than killing them.
02:36:12.000 If they got a big mouth, someone's got to take care of it.
02:36:15.000 Well, I don't think that fish had a big mouth.
02:36:16.000 It had a huge mouth.
02:36:17.000 It bit down on the bait.
02:36:19.000 Yeah.
02:36:19.000 Yeah, good point.
02:36:20.000 You think that's a bad idea, catch and release?
02:36:22.000 It's not a bad idea, but it troubles me in the sense that I like to catch fish and eat them, and I think that's why I go fishing.
02:36:30.000 When I go fishing, I go fishing to eat something.
02:36:32.000 I don't go fishing to fuck with a fish.
02:36:33.000 But some of them are inedible.
02:36:36.000 And I think when something's that big, you want to have it the respect, let it reproduce.
02:36:39.000 Yeah, sure.
02:36:40.000 I don't know what the population is.
02:36:42.000 Maybe they do it because, like with largemouth bass, a lot of people don't eat largemouth bass, although you can eat them, and I've eaten them.
02:36:50.000 They taste good.
02:36:50.000 But they use them as a sport fish, and so especially when you catch big ones, they want you to let them go, because a big female has probably got a bunch of eggs in her, and it'll help the population.
02:37:00.000 It takes a long time to get that big.
02:37:02.000 And they're probably good in keeping invasive species from taking over because they're predatory.
02:37:07.000 So they're going to be kind of basically mowing the lawn, so to speak.
02:37:10.000 Sort, yeah, a little bit.
02:37:11.000 But there's a lot of invasive species in the lakes out here.
02:37:14.000 The big one's carp.
02:37:15.000 Oh, those are the ones that jump in the boat?
02:37:17.000 The silver carp?
02:37:18.000 I think those are Asian carp.
02:37:19.000 Is that what it's called?
02:37:21.000 Asian silver carp or something like that?
02:37:21.000 Something happens to them when the boat's coming near them.
02:37:23.000 They freak out.
02:37:24.000 Yeah, they jump into the boat and they start hitting people in the head.
02:37:26.000 Oh, they KO people.
02:37:27.000 Yeah.
02:37:28.000 People get fucking flatlined.
02:37:30.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:37:31.000 It's like those fainting goats.
02:37:34.000 They just freak the fuck out and just flop over.
02:37:36.000 Oh.
02:37:38.000 What's the biggest fish you ever caught?
02:37:39.000 Was it a gar?
02:37:41.000 Biggest fish I ever caught...
02:37:43.000 What's this guy going?
02:37:47.000 Oh, yeah.
02:37:48.000 Oh, the carp.
02:37:48.000 Yeah, this guy's on a boat, and these fish just...
02:37:51.000 Oh, yeah?
02:37:51.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:37:53.000 See, I don't know if you can eat those.
02:37:55.000 Carp or edible?
02:37:56.000 I bet you could.
02:37:57.000 I don't know if that carp is edible.
02:37:58.000 I'm sure it's edible.
02:37:59.000 It's probably, like, really bony.
02:38:01.000 And so what they do with a lot of those is they make fish cakes out of them.
02:38:03.000 But give out the fish's carp, yeah.
02:38:06.000 I caught a marlin once.
02:38:07.000 Oh, holy crap.
02:38:08.000 70 pounds.
02:38:09.000 Was that hard to land?
02:38:10.000 Because they're strong as hell.
02:38:11.000 It was strong as hell, yeah.
02:38:12.000 How do you land that thing?
02:38:14.000 It takes a while.
02:38:16.000 It took like 20 minutes or so.
02:38:17.000 Okay.
02:38:18.000 But it was not that big.
02:38:19.000 It's a 70-pound marlin.
02:38:21.000 When they go in those marlin tournaments, guys, I catch a 1,000-pound marlin.
02:38:26.000 Have you ever seen one of those?
02:38:27.000 No.
02:38:28.000 I've seen the plastic ones on the wall.
02:38:30.000 See if you can find the largest marlin ever caught.
02:38:32.000 I think it's more than a thousand pounds.
02:38:34.000 Aren't they like the fastest fish?
02:38:35.000 So they're going to have power.
02:38:37.000 Oh, yeah.
02:38:37.000 They have such power.
02:38:38.000 And they're so majestic.
02:38:39.000 There's something about them with their sails and everything.
02:38:42.000 1,376 pounds was 193 inches long.
02:38:47.000 40 minutes is not that much time.
02:38:49.000 Well, I mean, how long can it fight for?
02:38:51.000 That's the thing.
02:38:52.000 It's like, look at the size of it.
02:38:53.000 Oh, my God.
02:38:55.000 Wow.
02:38:55.000 Look at the size of that thing.
02:38:57.000 Did you keep the bill?
02:38:58.000 No, no, I didn't.
02:38:59.000 It was one of those weird deals where there's certain boats that you get on and they have their own rules, and they said, you can catch fish, but we keep the big fish.
02:39:10.000 I'm like, okay.
02:39:11.000 Okay.
02:39:12.000 It was like, first of all, it didn't bother me because I was staying in a resort.
02:39:15.000 I'm like, what am I going to do with this Marlin?
02:39:16.000 Right.
02:39:17.000 You know, I can't eat this thing.
02:39:18.000 How am I going to eat?
02:39:19.000 Yeah, it's better if you guys keep it.
02:39:21.000 That would be funny.
02:39:22.000 And they wanted it.
02:39:22.000 So we get a Bernie's thing where you've got sunglasses on the marlin.
02:39:25.000 We were just looking for fish that we could eat, that we could bring back to, you know, a small fish, like a yellowtail or something like that, that you could bring back to the resort and you'd get the chef to cook it.
02:39:35.000 But we just got lucky.
02:39:36.000 We got caught within like 10 minutes of the fishing trip.
02:39:39.000 Did you ever watch that guy Masaru on YouTube?
02:39:41.000 Who's that?
02:39:41.000 The Japanese kid.
02:39:43.000 He goes, he catches fish and he cooks like literally everything.
02:39:45.000 Sea cucumber, starfish.
02:39:47.000 Oh really?
02:39:47.000 Half the time he's throwing up.
02:39:49.000 Oh no.
02:39:49.000 And it's all in Japanese.
02:39:50.000 You gotta watch subtitles.
02:39:51.000 He's the best.
02:39:52.000 Oh, so he tries everything?
02:39:53.000 He tries everything.
02:39:54.000 I mean, the headlines are clickbait.
02:39:57.000 Like, eating sea cucumber leads to disaster.
02:39:59.000 Yeah, he's the best.
02:40:01.000 Eating a diarrhea-causing fish extremely high in fat.
02:40:05.000 Oh, let's watch that.
02:40:06.000 He's hilarious.
02:40:07.000 Well, no, no, that's fake.
02:40:08.000 It's clickbait.
02:40:09.000 Have you ever had Escalar or white tuna at the sushi place?
02:40:12.000 Yes.
02:40:13.000 That's what that is.
02:40:13.000 So it causes anal leakage, but he's fine with it.
02:40:16.000 He's fine with anal leakage?
02:40:17.000 No, but I mean, this episode, he's not going to have diarrhea.
02:40:20.000 Oh, got it.
02:40:20.000 That looks good.
02:40:22.000 He's great.
02:40:23.000 Looks like he's having a good time.
02:40:24.000 Look up when he does the starfish.
02:40:29.000 When they have the parasites, he just cooks the parasites and eats it.
02:40:34.000 He doesn't throw it out.
02:40:35.000 He's like, alright, I'm just going to fry these worms.
02:40:37.000 I saw something.
02:40:37.000 I saw some YouTube, I didn't know if it was clickbait or not, but I saw some YouTube video today that I didn't click on that said, be careful eating sushi, and it showed a guy's mouth that was open and there was like, or some part of his, it wasn't his mouth, it was like something, like they put a camera down his mouth and they found some organs in his intestines.
02:40:57.000 Okay.
02:40:58.000 Or not organs, rather.
02:40:59.000 Some parasites in his intestines, like some tapeworms and shit like that.
02:41:02.000 It was horrible looking.
02:41:03.000 Yeah, but I think it's not a concern if you get to the restaurant, because they flash freeze it, don't they?
02:41:09.000 I don't know.
02:41:10.000 Because I think freshwater salmon is where a lot of parasites come from.
02:41:15.000 I think it's not a thing that much with saltwater fish.
02:41:19.000 I think it's less prevalent.
02:41:20.000 But I think...
02:41:22.000 You could buy fresh salmon that hasn't been frozen and you could eat it like sushi or sashimi and you could get fucked.
02:41:31.000 Okay.
02:41:32.000 I think that's pretty sure.
02:41:34.000 What do they do to keep people from getting parasites?
02:41:39.000 My understanding is they catch on the boat and they flash freeze it instantly.
02:41:42.000 My friend who's a doctor told me, don't ever eat freshwater fish raw.
02:41:46.000 The only freshwater fish that we eat at sushi is like eel, but that's cooked.
02:41:50.000 It's freshwater eel.
02:41:50.000 Salmon.
02:41:52.000 Salmon's urihelene.
02:41:54.000 Yeah, but a lot of it is, I mean, you can most certainly get freshwater salmon.
02:41:59.000 Like salmon exists in freshwater areas too, but it's a brackish fish.
02:42:03.000 Or like a trout.
02:42:04.000 Trout is going to be freshwater.
02:42:05.000 Right.
02:42:06.000 Yes.
02:42:06.000 Yeah.
02:42:07.000 Like you don't eat like sunfish sashimi.
02:42:09.000 Right, river trout is definitely a thing you'll get to sushi place.
02:42:13.000 Yeah, you can get...
02:42:14.000 Parasites can fuck you up, man.
02:42:16.000 I know some people that have eaten bad food and gotten parasites, and it's rough.
02:42:20.000 Like what kind of parasites?
02:42:22.000 Oh, like ringworm.
02:42:23.000 Oh, shit.
02:42:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:42:25.000 Yeah, ringworm you get like in the surface you skid, but roundworm, tapeworm.
02:42:29.000 I know people that got tapeworm from food.
02:42:30.000 Well, the worst is those botflies.
02:42:32.000 Yeah.
02:42:33.000 I have some friends that got trichinosis.
02:42:35.000 What's that?
02:42:37.000 Trichinosis is horrible.
02:42:37.000 Oh, God, with the holes?
02:42:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:42:39.000 They got trichinosis from eating bear meat.
02:42:41.000 It was for the show Meat Eater.
02:42:43.000 My friend Steve Rinella and his whole crew, they ate this bear meat and it wasn't cooked well enough.
02:42:47.000 Okay.
02:42:48.000 And they all got trichinosis.
02:42:49.000 Is that through some kind of pathogen?
02:42:52.000 It's a parasite.
02:42:53.000 There's parasites in the meat and they bore their way into your muscle tissue.
02:42:58.000 Here's what I found so you don't have to worry.
02:43:00.000 Okay.
02:43:02.000 All raw fish can have parasites, but not all raw fish does, especially when you're eating a well-established sushi restaurant.
02:43:08.000 Why?
02:43:08.000 The fish you're eating was flash frozen solid at a temperature of minus 35 degrees Fahrenheit and stored that way in a commercial freezer for at least 15 hours to kill whatever parasites happened to be in it.
02:43:19.000 That's right.
02:43:19.000 Sushi is probably not fish that was caught this morning.
02:43:22.000 In fact, most states like Oregon require it to be frozen first, but that's a good thing beyond banishing parasites.
02:43:28.000 So I've eaten sushi that was not.
02:43:33.000 And I had some friends that went tuna fishing, and they said that the chef, they had this tuna fishing expedition thing.
02:43:41.000 They catch tuna, they would catch the tuna, and then the chef on board would cook for them and make sashimi right there.
02:43:48.000 Like, those people are eating it fresh.
02:43:50.000 Yeah.
02:43:50.000 They could get parasites.
02:43:51.000 Yes, of course.
02:43:51.000 But freshwater, I think, is the worst.
02:43:53.000 I was wondering what it was called, and it says it here.
02:43:55.000 The candling, they do.
02:43:56.000 They have a high-powered flashlight to check.
02:43:59.000 Through the fillets to look for any abnormalities, including bones.
02:44:04.000 I think?
02:44:25.000 Well, but when I was looking it up, I found a lot of people like tapeworm from sushi.
02:44:29.000 You can get a nematode, which is like a larva, a worm larva.
02:44:32.000 And so is that people that don't follow this flash frozen rule?
02:44:37.000 Because trichinosis, one of the things about trichinosis is it survives freezing.
02:44:41.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:44:42.000 Okay.
02:44:42.000 It depends on the trichinosis, apparently, because some trichinosis from the southern states doesn't survive freezing, but some of the stuff from like Alberta and Alaska, it survives freezing.
02:44:53.000 It's like there's different strains of trichinosis, but you have to cook it to like 160 degrees to kill it.
02:44:59.000 What happens when you get it?
02:45:01.000 How do you cure it?
02:45:01.000 Well, you're fucked.
02:45:02.000 Ivermectin?
02:45:03.000 For the rest of your life.
02:45:04.000 Ivermectin, yeah.
02:45:04.000 It might be, actually.
02:45:06.000 It's an antiparasitic.
02:45:07.000 Yeah, you're right.
02:45:07.000 That's true.
02:45:07.000 It actually might be.
02:45:09.000 I don't know what they take, but he took a lot of shit.
02:45:12.000 And he was really rough.
02:45:14.000 It was really rough for him.
02:45:15.000 Like, achy body.
02:45:16.000 Because it's literally digging into your fucking muscle tissue.
02:45:19.000 I'm sure you could feel it, too.
02:45:20.000 So if someone ate him, they would get trichinosis.
02:45:24.000 Okay.
02:45:24.000 Isn't that wild?
02:45:25.000 Like, that's where you're getting it.
02:45:27.000 You're getting it from an animal that ate an animal that had trichinosis.
02:45:31.000 Also, this article, I clicked the link, one person got sick off of it, and then a lot of articles started coming out.
02:45:38.000 Yeah, media goes apeshit after one guy gets sick off sushi.
02:45:41.000 Sushi usually contains raw food, it's not cooked, raw things are full of bacteria.
02:45:45.000 One guy got it in Portugal, and then there was a bunch of...
02:45:47.000 Do you know what's interesting?
02:45:48.000 Do you remember, like, in the 80s, people who ate sushi were regarded as, like, lunatics?
02:45:53.000 And like in movies, if someone had California roles, all the other characters would be like, oh, what are you eating over there?
02:45:58.000 And now it's just like at the mall.
02:46:00.000 And no one even like blinks.
02:46:02.000 It's totally normal.
02:46:03.000 It's at the supermarket.
02:46:04.000 You get supermarket sushi.
02:46:04.000 HGB has great sushi.
02:46:06.000 Do they?
02:46:07.000 They do!
02:46:07.000 HGB has great everything.
02:46:08.000 I love HGB. I'm so delighted by it.
02:46:11.000 That's a risky, risk-taking person.
02:46:13.000 They eat supermarket sushi.
02:46:14.000 I don't think it is, though.
02:46:15.000 It's a different kind of human.
02:46:16.000 I think...
02:46:17.000 I should be on Fear Factor.
02:46:19.000 Gas station sushi.
02:46:20.000 Can you imagine a Fear Factor?
02:46:21.000 H-E-V sushi.
02:46:23.000 I don't know.
02:46:24.000 Gas station sushi?
02:46:25.000 You're not allowed any wasabi.
02:46:26.000 This is real Fear Factor shit.
02:46:27.000 What's the riskiest thing you eat?
02:46:29.000 A gas station burrito?
02:46:31.000 What's the riskiest...
02:46:32.000 Or a hot dog.
02:46:33.000 Hot dogs.
02:46:34.000 Hot dogs on that spinner.
02:46:35.000 Gas station hot dog.
02:46:36.000 The hot dog is on those fucking rotating things.
02:46:40.000 Is that the riskiest?
02:46:41.000 At a gas station.
02:46:42.000 That's got to be the riskiest.
02:46:43.000 That's pretty risky.
02:46:44.000 Especially if there's cheese inside or something else.
02:46:46.000 For sure you're eating some dicks and assholes.
02:46:48.000 For sure.
02:46:49.000 And you're also probably going to get diarrhea because of the fat content.
02:46:52.000 Maybe you are.
02:46:53.000 Possibly.
02:46:53.000 I'm going to fucking cruise right through that hot dog.
02:46:55.000 What would be the weirdest, griskiest thing?
02:46:58.000 Anything I cook, am I right?
02:47:01.000 Whatever comes out of my wife's kitchen!
02:47:07.000 But anyway.
02:47:08.000 That's what's going to be tonight at the Comedy Mothership.
02:47:12.000 That's it.
02:47:12.000 We're bringing back old-timey jokes.
02:47:15.000 Yeah.
02:47:15.000 Falcon's going to bring his puppy.
02:47:17.000 I did an event for my friend Tom Woods.
02:47:20.000 It was his 200th episode.
02:47:22.000 And because Neil Hamburger made this joke like 15 years ago on Red Eye, I got a dummy made out of him.
02:47:27.000 And I did the Centriloquist Act.
02:47:29.000 And it gave me an excuse to wear a mask because then I don't have to be good with my lips.
02:47:33.000 And it was the first time I bombed.
02:47:36.000 Like, I bombed.
02:47:37.000 And the only thing that saved me from bombing was some drunk person rushed the stage and was yelling at me to take off the mask and that I'm giving in to the regime and he had to get tackled.
02:47:47.000 And everyone thought it was a bit.
02:47:48.000 And I'm like, no, no, I was just bombing fire on my own and this guy saved me.
02:47:52.000 That's hilarious.
02:47:53.000 Yeah, it was a bit.
02:47:54.000 The funny thing is I still have this puppet I had made of him, like this Muppet, and I just have in the house to scare people.
02:48:01.000 The pandemic was the greatest thing ever for ventriloquists.
02:48:03.000 Yeah.
02:48:04.000 It's the best.
02:48:05.000 You don't have to try.
02:48:07.000 Let's put a plague mask on and fucking...
02:48:09.000 Have you ever tried to do ventriloquism?
02:48:11.000 No.
02:48:12.000 It's hard.
02:48:12.000 I bet.
02:48:13.000 I wish someone had sat me down like, dude, practice, don't just go up there and ring it.
02:48:17.000 There's no fucking way you can do that.
02:48:19.000 There's no fucking way you can do that.
02:48:21.000 No, but it's not just that.
02:48:22.000 It's that you have to coordinate this with this hand.
02:48:25.000 That seems easy, Pat.
02:48:26.000 No, it's not.
02:48:27.000 The P's.
02:48:28.000 The P's are the problem.
02:48:29.000 It's like trying to circle your head and pat your stomach at the same time.
02:48:33.000 Oh.
02:48:33.000 If you're focusing on your mouth, you can't concentrate on your hand.
02:48:36.000 Oh, so it's like playing guitar and singing.
02:48:37.000 Yes.
02:48:38.000 You can figure it out.
02:48:39.000 Well, I didn't.
02:48:40.000 And I paid the consequences for it.
02:48:43.000 So, I could.
02:48:44.000 Maybe if I didn't just fucking wing it.
02:48:46.000 It was bad news.
02:48:48.000 And I was the closing act.
02:48:50.000 Everyone's like, oh my god, Michael Moss is gonna kill it!
02:48:51.000 And everyone's just sitting there on their hands.
02:48:53.000 You don't see a lot of ventriloquist acts anymore.
02:48:56.000 What's that guy's name with the...
02:48:59.000 Jeff Dunham.
02:49:00.000 Yeah.
02:49:00.000 Yeah, he's huge.
02:49:02.000 But I think he's one of those guys that's like Carrot Top, where when someone gets so big with that genre, they kind of own the genre now.
02:49:10.000 Right.
02:49:10.000 What are you trying to be, Carrot Top?
02:49:11.000 Yeah, when I was a kid, when I was starting out, there was a lot of prop acts.
02:49:16.000 There would be one every couple of shows.
02:49:19.000 Is that right?
02:49:19.000 Yeah.
02:49:20.000 Yeah, there's quite a few.
02:49:22.000 Guy started out as prop acts and eventually dropped the props.
02:49:25.000 Like Mitzi Short was always like, drop the props.
02:49:28.000 She'd make you drop the props.
02:49:29.000 She'd make you put away the guitar.
02:49:31.000 She'd make you put away the guitar and fucking eat shit.
02:49:34.000 I remember when I was young and Stern had the E show, right?
02:49:38.000 And he had Carrot Top on.
02:49:39.000 And everyone's like, oh my god, he's got to have Carrot Top on.
02:49:41.000 He's got a Carrot Top on.
02:49:42.000 And it was just really, really great because Carrot Top comes in.
02:49:44.000 Everyone thinks he's going to nuke him.
02:49:45.000 And he's like...
02:49:46.000 I'm supposed to hate you?
02:49:47.000 He's like, wait, what's your crime?
02:49:49.000 You make families laugh with toys and everyone leaves and has a great experience?
02:49:53.000 Why are you a bad guy?
02:49:54.000 It was really kind of funny.
02:49:55.000 He was the whipping boy for comedians forever.
02:49:58.000 He's a really nice guy.
02:50:00.000 Scott is a fucking really good guy.
02:50:02.000 Yeah, I saw you had him on.
02:50:03.000 He's a fucking sweetheart.
02:50:04.000 I love him.
02:50:05.000 But what's the crime that he makes people laugh?
02:50:08.000 Nothing.
02:50:08.000 No crime.
02:50:08.000 I never got it.
02:50:09.000 I never participated in it.
02:50:11.000 I didn't get it.
02:50:12.000 I don't understand the hate.
02:50:13.000 I don't care if someone does something different than what I do.
02:50:16.000 I don't understand why that would be bad.
02:50:18.000 He's funny.
02:50:19.000 Oh, I should have made this a ventriloquist thing.
02:50:20.000 He's fucking funny.
02:50:21.000 Hey, Joe.
02:50:23.000 Have a South Park head with him.
02:50:25.000 Hey, Joe, what's going on?
02:50:27.000 I'm building robots.
02:50:28.000 Look how stoic he looks.
02:50:32.000 So stoic.
02:50:33.000 She really nailed it.
02:50:35.000 Oh my god, she nailed it.
02:50:36.000 I'm going to frame that face and put it in my house.
02:50:39.000 He's going to be so excited when he sees it.
02:50:41.000 Yeah, he is.
02:50:42.000 He will.
02:50:42.000 I hadn't seen it either.
02:50:43.000 Guarantee you.
02:50:45.000 Hey, Lex.
02:50:46.000 He's got a great fucking show.
02:50:50.000 Yeah, he does.
02:50:51.000 When I do his show, we always dress up.
02:50:53.000 I see.
02:50:54.000 Last time I was on, I was dressed as Kraftwerk because of the robots.
02:50:57.000 And everyone's like, why is he wearing lipstick?
02:50:59.000 I'm doing Kraftwerk.
02:51:00.000 Relax.
02:51:01.000 And he was dressed like Santa.
02:51:02.000 That's hilarious.
02:51:03.000 Duncan Trussell and I do that.
02:51:04.000 We dress up, and last time, one of the times, it might not have been the last one, but one of the times we dressed up, we had candles all over the table, so the only light in the room was candles, and we were both dressed like clowns, and it was featured on Fox News, because we went on some crazy rant they agreed with, and they said, Joe Rogan had a really good point.
02:51:20.000 He's fucking dressed like a clown.
02:51:22.000 Like, I'm a literal clown.
02:51:23.000 Like, you're coming to me for good points?
02:51:26.000 I was on Tim Pool, and I had a propeller beanie, and shout out to Jose Garcia.
02:51:31.000 He put a motor in so this propeller was spinning.
02:51:35.000 And I'm just talking about Woodrow Wilson and the American Economic Association on things happening in the early progressive era.
02:51:42.000 And all these people online are like, I can't take someone seriously who's got a propeller beanie on.
02:51:47.000 I'm like, well, that's the point.
02:51:48.000 That is the point.
02:51:50.000 I'll tell you, Tim's coming back April 14th at Vulcan.
02:51:54.000 It's going to be me, Alex, Blair, Alex Stein, and him on stage.
02:51:59.000 I'm sure Ian's going to be there.
02:52:00.000 And I've got the most amazing outfit, I'll tell you, off the air.
02:52:03.000 And the trick is to have no one acknowledge that you're in an outfit.
02:52:05.000 I can't wait to see it.
02:52:06.000 It's gonna be a lot of fun.
02:52:07.000 That sounds like fun.
02:52:08.000 I love silly shows like that, where two guys wear an outfit.
02:52:11.000 And if you do, whatever criticism anybody lobbies your way, come on.
02:52:16.000 I'm dressed like a clown.
02:52:17.000 I'm mocking myself.
02:52:18.000 Joe, sometimes it's hard for me to realize how normies think.
02:52:22.000 I remember I had a job interview.
02:52:25.000 This must have been 20 years ago.
02:52:27.000 And the guy who was interviewing me was like 27. So he was a young, cool dude, whatever.
02:52:31.000 And I was telling him I was just listening to Insane Clown Posse, and they're singing about how they took their manager and threw him out of a window, and that they stabbed the mail paper man, and now they drive around in his truck.
02:52:41.000 And it was hilarious.
02:52:43.000 And the guy's like, wow, some people are really crazy.
02:52:45.000 I'm like, they're clowns.
02:52:47.000 They call themselves clowns.
02:52:48.000 This is absurdity and it's ridiculous.
02:52:50.000 They're not throwing people out of fucking windows.
02:52:52.000 But for him, it was just like, this is weird and stupid.
02:52:56.000 I'm like, okay.
02:52:57.000 Yeah, okay.
02:52:59.000 I'm dressed like a clown.
02:53:00.000 I put the clown suit on.
02:53:02.000 On purpose.
02:53:03.000 I'm not wearing a suit and tie begging to be taken seriously.
02:53:06.000 I didn't wake up and I'm like, holy shit, I'm in clown gear and I can't take it off.
02:53:09.000 You can't beg to be taken seriously.
02:53:11.000 Right.
02:53:12.000 Especially the kind of stuff that you talk about.
02:53:15.000 Like you say some very controversial shit, and it's funnier if it's coming out of a guy with a propeller hat on.
02:53:24.000 What was the inspiration to write this book?
02:53:26.000 This Book of Hope by Michael Malice?
02:53:29.000 The inspiration was, it's the story of the rise of the Soviet Union.
02:53:34.000 What actually happened there.
02:53:36.000 And part of the inspiration was, it bothers me how people, when they complain about how oppressive governments can be, we have no idea how bad it could be here.
02:53:45.000 And having come from there, obviously Lexus from there as well, to realize this is the bullet that my family dodged.
02:53:52.000 So I go through the way they starved millions of people in Ukraine.
02:53:56.000 They forced people to go on trial to admit to things that not only did they not do, but were literally impossible.
02:54:02.000 The way they turned parents against their children and children against their parents.
02:54:06.000 And, of course, the concentration camps, the gulags.
02:54:09.000 But the scary thing was every step of the way, whatever atrocity happened, there were people in the West who are still in powerful agencies, New York Times, The New Republic, The Nation, who were tripping over themselves to not only excuse and defend these things,
02:54:24.000 but to say, hey, we need to be more like Stalin here.
02:54:28.000 So 75% of this book is as dark as it gets.
02:54:31.000 A lot of times people tell me, oh, you're naive, you think people are basically good.
02:54:34.000 No.
02:54:35.000 But the point being, they lost.
02:54:37.000 And they lost so hard that the country no longer exists, and we don't even talk about it.
02:54:42.000 This was what was bothering me, that millions of lives were lost, people were tortured in ways that are completely unspeakable, and now we just pretend it never happened.
02:54:51.000 And I'm like, I'm going to do something about, A, giving testimony to these countrymen of mine, but also pointing out we won, and we won relatively easily, and relatively recently.
02:55:02.000 When you think about all the atrocities of history, why do you think that that one, which is fairly recent, is not discussed as much?
02:55:10.000 Okay, there's a couple of reasons.
02:55:12.000 One is there's no easy narrative, right?
02:55:14.000 So it's very clear in World War II that Hitler's a bad guy.
02:55:17.000 We can't say Stalin's really a bad guy because why are we teaming up with him?
02:55:21.000 People like the WWE version of history, right?
02:55:23.000 Good versus bad.
02:55:24.000 If he's on our team and we're the good guys, he can't really be that bad.
02:55:27.000 So that's part of it.
02:55:28.000 Second is there would have to be a lot of accountability.
02:55:31.000 When the New York Times is saying explicitly there is no starvation in Ukraine, nor is there likely to be.
02:55:38.000 Page A1 headlines, what are they going to talk about it now?
02:55:42.000 What year was this?
02:55:43.000 Early 30s, the Hall of Demore.
02:55:45.000 So were they getting bad information or were they ideologically captured because they were Marxists?
02:55:51.000 So their guy who they had there was someone named Walter Durante and he was a really interesting figure because he actually stole Aleister Crowley's girlfriend.
02:55:59.000 Aleister Crowley was like the first big Satanist.
02:56:01.000 And there were perverse incentives working behind the Iron Curtain.
02:56:07.000 This wasn't the Iron Curtain then, that came later.
02:56:09.000 But the idea was if I'm in Moscow and I'm writing for a Western outlet, I have to get it through the sensors.
02:56:16.000 I can't just email somebody.
02:56:18.000 I got to get you to approve it.
02:56:19.000 So it's your job as the guy working for the government to make sure that what I'm putting out isn't too damaging to the Soviet Union.
02:56:26.000 And you could play a game where you're like, let me talk to my supervisor.
02:56:30.000 I have a deadline.
02:56:34.000 I'm going to have to play ball.
02:56:47.000 I mean, where you're staying is at the government's largesse.
02:56:50.000 So that was part of it.
02:56:51.000 Second is, I'm not in his head.
02:56:54.000 I don't know why Walter Durante was covering up for this genocide.
02:56:58.000 But the fact of the matter is there's someone named Gareth Jones, and there was a movie about him called Mr. Jones.
02:57:03.000 And he's like, something's not adding up.
02:57:05.000 So he went on a train through Ukraine, got out early.
02:57:09.000 And just went through all the towns and he saw for himself what was happening.
02:57:12.000 These people are telling him we're starving.
02:57:14.000 They're ransacking our houses.
02:57:15.000 They can tell by our face if we're not starving because if your cheeks aren't hollow, you're hiding food.
02:57:21.000 They come back in the middle of the night, ransack your house.
02:57:24.000 If there's soup thrown on the floor, Take off your clothes and throw you out into the cold.
02:57:28.000 It's your fault.
02:57:29.000 You're the Kulak.
02:57:30.000 Your fault why the rest of Russia's hungry.
02:57:32.000 They made them great scapegoats.
02:57:33.000 He reported what was happening, and then all the Western reporters ganged up on him like he's lying.
02:57:39.000 This is just anti-communist propaganda.
02:57:41.000 You don't get it.
02:57:43.000 So again, another example was Henry Wallace, who was FDR's second vice president.
02:57:47.000 He visited a Gulag in Siberia, and he comes back talking about how they're well-treated.
02:57:53.000 There's all these people moving to Siberia.
02:57:55.000 It's like the Wild West.
02:57:56.000 They're frontiersmen.
02:57:57.000 And then Eleanor Lipper, who was on the far side of the fence, escaped years later.
02:58:01.000 She was a foreign national.
02:58:02.000 And she goes, I was there.
02:58:03.000 We were imprisoned.
02:58:05.000 We were beaten, raped, like starving.
02:58:08.000 But they just put on a song and dance for You Fell For It, Hook, Line and Sinker.
02:58:12.000 So that story, I think, needs to be told.
02:58:15.000 And that's one of the reasons I wrote the book.
02:58:17.000 So people could see how much blood is on the hand of so many Western influencers to this day.
02:58:24.000 And then you have these things where like, for example, Joe Rogan gets arrested, right?
02:58:30.000 There's nothing you can do to me.
02:58:31.000 You can break my fingers.
02:58:32.000 You can break my nose.
02:58:33.000 I'm a tough dude, whatever.
02:58:35.000 See what happens when your wife or kids get arrested.
02:58:37.000 See what you're going to start confessing to.
02:58:39.000 You're going to confess to whatever the fuck they want.
02:58:41.000 Whatever the fuck they want.
02:58:42.000 And that's the techniques that they used.
02:58:44.000 Speaking of which, did you see the new video of the fucking QAnon shaman being led through the Capitol building by police?
02:58:52.000 No.
02:58:53.000 What happened there?
02:58:54.000 You know, there's the story of the violent insurrection.
02:58:57.000 Oh yeah, of course.
02:58:58.000 That's the narrative, right?
02:58:59.000 By the way, let's just be real clear.
02:59:01.000 You shouldn't break into the fucking Capitol building.
02:59:04.000 You shouldn't be trying to overthrow the government.
02:59:06.000 You shouldn't be trying to get out there and say that the election was false when you don't exactly know.
02:59:11.000 You're just buying into it and then you all invade the Capitol.
02:59:15.000 It wasn't good.
02:59:16.000 It wasn't a good look for America.
02:59:17.000 It wasn't good for any of the people there.
02:59:19.000 Nothing was good about January 6th.
02:59:21.000 Let's be real clear.
02:59:22.000 But when you watch the video of that guy being led around through the Capitol building by police, they're basically giving him like a tour.
02:59:31.000 They're talking to him and hanging out with him.
02:59:32.000 At one point in time, it's him and there's like six police officers around him and they're not arresting him.
02:59:37.000 They're not throwing him to the ground.
02:59:38.000 There's no violence at all.
02:59:40.000 I don't think what that guy did was good.
02:59:42.000 I don't think what any of those people did was good.
02:59:43.000 It wasn't smart to fucking barge into the Capitol and take pictures of your feet on Nancy Pelosi's desk.
02:59:48.000 It's fucking stupid.
02:59:49.000 It's a crime.
02:59:51.000 But they were leading him around.
02:59:54.000 The cops were talking to him and hanging out with him.
02:59:57.000 They weren't arresting him immediately.
02:59:59.000 It wasn't like he was this violent guy who broke in and started smashing things and fucked the government.
03:00:03.000 They stayed between the velvet ropes.
03:00:05.000 Watch the video.
03:00:07.000 Have you seen the video?
03:00:08.000 No, I have not seen the video.
03:00:08.000 See if you can find it, because Tucker Carlson highlighted it on his television show, and now everybody's up in arms because it's coming from Tucker, but it should be coming from the New York Times, too.
03:00:16.000 It should be coming from everybody.
03:00:18.000 It's just this is video footage of this guy, and it's a thing that's different than what we're being told it is.
03:00:25.000 We're being told that they barged in and fucking rawr, and they overtook the Capitol, locked them up, put them in jail, Seems edited though, I'll be honest with.
03:00:33.000 Yes.
03:00:34.000 Both teams edited it in various ways.
03:00:38.000 It's definitely edited, but when you see the video itself, you do see these cops walking around with this guy, and they're essentially, it's like they're giving him a tour.
03:00:50.000 It doesn't seem like what we thought it was.
03:00:54.000 I thought it was like they broke in and then they fucking scared the cops away and there were so many of them that they overtook the Capitol.
03:01:01.000 I'm gonna get a lot of heat for this and I don't care.
03:01:04.000 Where was President Trump for these people?
03:01:05.000 These are his strongest supporters.
03:01:07.000 He did not stick his neck out for them in the slightest.
03:01:09.000 He let them rot in jail.
03:01:13.000 Is that the one?
03:01:15.000 I can't tell because I'm not listening to it.
03:01:17.000 So here it is.
03:01:20.000 But it turns out there's quite a bit of video you haven't seen.
03:01:23.000 And that video tells a very different story about what happened on January 6th.
03:01:28.000 Oh, they're fixing it!
03:01:30.000 More than a thousand hours of surveillance footage from in and around the Capitol have been withheld from the public.
03:01:35.000 And once you see the video, you'll understand why.
03:01:38.000 Taken as a whole, the video record does not support the claim that January 6th was an insurrection.
03:01:43.000 In fact, it demolishes that claim.
03:01:46.000 And that's exactly why the Democratic Party and its allies in the media prevented you from seeing it.
03:01:52.000 By controlling the images you were allowed to view from January 6th, they controlled how the public understood that day.
03:01:59.000 They could lie about what happened and you would never know the difference.
03:02:21.000 Holy shit.
03:02:24.000 Wow.
03:02:29.000 The crowd was enormous.
03:02:30.000 A small percentage of them were hooligans.
03:02:33.000 They committed vandalism.
03:02:34.000 You've seen their pictures again and again.
03:02:37.000 But the overwhelming majority weren't.
03:02:39.000 They were peaceful.
03:02:41.000 They were orderly and meek.
03:02:42.000 These were not insurrectionists.
03:02:44.000 They were sightseers.
03:02:46.000 Footage from inside the Capitol overturns the story you've heard about January 6th.
03:02:51.000 Protesters queue up in neat little lines.
03:02:54.000 They give each other tours outside the Speaker's office.
03:02:56.000 They take cheerful selfies and they smile.
03:02:59.000 They're not destroying the Capitol.
03:03:01.000 They obviously revere the Capitol.
03:03:03.000 They're there because they believe the election was stolen from them.
03:03:07.000 They believe in the system.
03:03:09.000 Here's the man you've heard referred to as the QAnon shaman outside the Senate chamber.
03:03:14.000 These are not rioters.
03:03:15.000 These are people who wandered over from a political rally.
03:03:18.000 We will not let them silence your voices.
03:03:21.000 After the rally, they walked down Pennsylvania Avenue, where organizers had secured a federal permit to hold a legal rally on the grounds of the Capitol.
03:03:29.000 I know that everyone here will soon be marching over to the Capitol building.
03:03:34.000 To peacefully and patriotically make your voices heard.
03:03:38.000 Once at the Capitol Building, things began to get chaotic.
03:03:42.000 Capitol Police officers fired tear gas into the crowd.
03:03:45.000 A few at the front of the herd broke windows.
03:03:47.000 Someone opened the doors, and many hundreds of others just walked in.
03:03:51.000 We're going to make that the story.
03:03:53.000 Of course, they did make it the story.
03:03:55.000 And at the center of it, the most famous person arrested that day was a Navy veteran from Arizona called Jacob Chansley, often referred to as the QAnon Shaman.
03:04:05.000 The so-called QAnon Shaman.
03:04:07.000 QAnon Shaman.
03:04:08.000 Someone named Q Shaman.
03:04:09.000 Jacob Chansley became the face of January 6th, a dangerous conspiracy theorist dressed in outlandish costume who led the violent insurrection to overthrow American democracy.
03:04:20.000 For these crimes, Chansley was sentenced to nearly four years in prison, far more time than many violent criminals now receive.
03:04:27.000 What did Jacob Chansley do to receive this punishment?
03:04:31.000 To this day, there is dispute over how Chansley got into the Capitol building.
03:04:35.000 But according to our review of the internal surveillance video, it is very clear what happened once he got inside.
03:04:42.000 Virtually every moment of his time inside the Capitol was caught on tape.
03:04:47.000 The tapes show that Capitol Police never stopped Jacob Chansley.
03:04:51.000 They helped him.
03:04:52.000 They acted as his tour guides.
03:04:54.000 Wow.
03:04:55.000 They're opening the door for him!
03:04:57.000 Capitol Police officers take him to multiple entrances and even try to open locked doors for him.
03:05:04.000 We counted at least nine officers who were within touching distance of unarmed Jacob Chansley.
03:05:10.000 Not one of them even tried to slow him down.
03:05:13.000 Chansley understood that Capitol Police were his allies.
03:05:17.000 Video shows him giving thanks for them in a prayer on the floor of the Senate.
03:05:21.000 Watch.
03:05:28.000 Holy crap.
03:05:32.000 Oh, he's bald.
03:05:43.000 Shoot him!
03:05:57.000 No.
03:06:07.000 Jesus.
03:06:10.000 Wild.
03:06:11.000 Right?
03:06:11.000 You're not supposed to go into the Capitol building.
03:06:13.000 Grant.
03:06:14.000 Not like that.
03:06:16.000 Not like that.
03:06:17.000 But when you see the people taking him around essentially on a tour, that's not what I thought it was.
03:06:25.000 I just hope all the conservatives watching this realize how little appetite there is in the Republican Party for defending people like this.
03:06:31.000 And thinking that Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump care about this is a delusion.
03:06:36.000 Not even defending them.
03:06:38.000 It's just, forget about it.
03:06:40.000 Let's look at what actually happened.
03:06:42.000 We didn't know that happened.
03:06:44.000 Right.
03:06:44.000 We had a version of it where it was just chaos and the cops ran away.
03:06:48.000 I would have never imagined this.
03:06:50.000 Cops were murdered.
03:06:51.000 Yeah.
03:06:52.000 I would have never imagined that this...
03:06:54.000 I'm shocked to see that, to be honest.
03:06:56.000 That's so wild.
03:06:57.000 And to your point that it's not a bigger story, that it's fucking Tucker who's covering this.
03:07:02.000 Well, it's just broken.
03:07:03.000 And I think people are starting to pay attention to it now.
03:07:06.000 I don't think it's broken.
03:07:07.000 I think it's by design.
03:07:08.000 I think it's by design.
03:07:10.000 It's not an accident.
03:07:11.000 No, I mean, it just broke.
03:07:12.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:07:13.000 It got out in the world.
03:07:15.000 I think it's really recent.
03:07:17.000 And so I think people are just starting to recognize that it's not what you thought it was.
03:07:23.000 It's not good, but they did.
03:07:26.000 Clearly.
03:07:26.000 You want to peacefully protest, you do it outside.
03:07:28.000 You don't ever go into the fucking Capitol building.
03:07:31.000 If someone smashes his door, don't enter behind it.
03:07:33.000 I don't see how not having him under house arrest wouldn't be infinitely preferable to putting him in jail, which is cheaper.
03:07:39.000 Stay in your house.
03:07:40.000 They're putting him in jail for four years.
03:07:42.000 He's not violent.
03:07:43.000 There's no concern that he's going to kill someone or assault him.
03:07:48.000 He pled guilty.
03:07:48.000 Of course he did.
03:07:49.000 Of course he pled down.
03:07:49.000 If he doesn't play guilty, they give him 25 yards.
03:07:52.000 Yes.
03:07:52.000 And he was guilty.
03:07:53.000 He was there.
03:07:54.000 He was trespassing.
03:07:54.000 100% guilty.
03:07:55.000 He definitely should be...
03:07:57.000 There should be some kind of punishment for doing that to make sure that people don't do that again.
03:08:01.000 Well, wouldn't it be better if he did actually community service and helped the community?
03:08:03.000 Yes.
03:08:04.000 Clean up.
03:08:04.000 Go fucking clean up garbage somewhere.
03:08:06.000 Yeah, go clean up that wall.
03:08:07.000 Like do that for like four years every weekend.
03:08:09.000 You have to go to the mall, clean up broken glass, fine.
03:08:12.000 The problem is like with those kind of protest things, man, the mob has a mind of its own.
03:08:18.000 And if you're in that mob and you just follow along with it and all of a sudden they have your fucking face on it.
03:08:22.000 But that didn't even seem like the mob.
03:08:23.000 Because it wasn't like they were knocking shit, pulling off of walls.
03:08:26.000 But that's also selective, right?
03:08:27.000 Sure, of course.
03:08:28.000 Of course.
03:08:28.000 This is the thing.
03:08:28.000 They're showing us only the good stuff.
03:08:30.000 If we wanted to watch all of it, I think there's some insane amount of hours of footage, and this has only been recently released, so who knows what else we can see.
03:08:38.000 I think it's just very sad that we had these big hearings for a long time, and they must have had this footage, and they sat on it.
03:08:43.000 Yeah.
03:08:44.000 It's crazy.
03:08:46.000 And I feel bad for those people because they were duped.
03:08:50.000 Yeah.
03:08:50.000 They really thought that, like, Trump had their back, and this is okay, and, you know, we're American.
03:08:56.000 Like, the whole little narrative.
03:08:57.000 I also feel bad for people like that guy saying, shoot him.
03:09:00.000 Shoot him.
03:09:01.000 Why?
03:09:01.000 Because now if he sees this video, he's going to realize, like, oh, I was misinformed.
03:09:05.000 No way.
03:09:06.000 He will double down.
03:09:07.000 He will absolutely double down.
03:09:08.000 Really?
03:09:09.000 100%.
03:09:10.000 Capitol Police Chief Blast Tucker Carlson over misleading January 6 footage.
03:09:15.000 Video aired by Carlson showed QAnon shaman Jacob Chansley accompanied by police but not violence on the day riot or stormed the Capitol.
03:09:23.000 And so what is he saying about it being misleading?
03:09:25.000 Fox spokespeople didn't respond to comment when asked.
03:09:28.000 Claimed by Carlson that Capitol Police served as tour guides for Jacob Chansley, the horn-wearing QAnon shaman was outrageous and false.
03:09:36.000 Manager wrote, he said that the Capitol Police were badly outnumbered on January 6th and that those officers did their best to use de-escalation tactics to try to talk rioters into getting each other to leave the building.
03:09:46.000 Okay, that makes sense.
03:09:48.000 That makes sense.
03:09:49.000 But that's still not the same.
03:09:51.000 Why are they opening doors for him?
03:09:52.000 That's still not the same narrative.
03:09:53.000 Is that de-escalation tactics?
03:09:55.000 You can see it.
03:09:57.000 Take a look at it.
03:09:57.000 But you guys got to leave.
03:09:58.000 Well, I was looking at it.
03:10:00.000 I thought maybe that they were taking him out.
03:10:01.000 Not in handcuffs, obviously, which maybe they should have if they thought he did bad, but leading him out of the building.
03:10:06.000 That's why the Juan cops didn't react.
03:10:08.000 Like, he's taking him out.
03:10:09.000 Maybe they're looking for an exit.
03:10:10.000 But it seemed like they were looking for an entrance because he was saying that he gave thanks to the police officers for letting them in.
03:10:18.000 It seemed very clear also that there was no possibility that he was going to be violent toward them.
03:10:24.000 Like they were not clearly in fear of their lives or that he was going to swing on them or anything like that.
03:10:29.000 No, no, no, not at all.
03:10:30.000 I mean they were talking to him.
03:10:31.000 He thanked them.
03:10:33.000 He gave a prayer and thanked them.
03:10:36.000 It's a very unfortunate thing.
03:10:38.000 Four years is no joke.
03:10:39.000 Four years!
03:10:39.000 It's a long fucking time.
03:10:40.000 It's a long time to be locked up.
03:10:42.000 Carlson says they checked with the Capitol Police before airing the video.
03:10:47.000 He said, we're happy to say their reservations were minor, and for the most part, they were reasonable.
03:10:51.000 Capitol Police spokesman Tim Barber said that we repeatedly request that any clips be shown to us first.
03:10:56.000 For a security review, so far we have only been given the ability to preview a single clip out of the multiple clips that aired.
03:11:03.000 So they didn't show them all the...
03:11:04.000 And his attorney didn't have that footage.
03:11:07.000 Wow.
03:11:08.000 Holy crap.
03:11:09.000 Chansley's attorney, through sentencing in November 2021, said he had been provided many hours of video by prosecutors, but not the footage which Carlson aired on Monday night.
03:11:19.000 He said that he had not seen video of Chansley walking through Capitol Hallways with multiple Capitol Police officers.
03:11:26.000 What's deeply troubling, Watkins said Tuesday, is the fact that I have to watch Tucker Carlson to find video footage which the government has, but chose not to disclose despite the absolute duty to do so, despite being requested in writing to do so multiple times.
03:11:40.000 You can't.
03:11:40.000 I'm not an attorney, but I know enough that if you're a prosecutor, you're holding evidence that could clear the defendant, that's not legal.
03:11:47.000 Because discovery means you have to turn over all the evidence, not just things that will incriminate him.
03:11:51.000 It's ugly.
03:11:53.000 Wow.
03:11:56.000 Can you imagine if this gets overturned?
03:11:58.000 Or he gets...
03:11:59.000 Wow.
03:12:00.000 Yeah.
03:12:01.000 It says Carlson's program conveniently cherry-picked from the calmer moments of our over 41,000 hours of video, Manja wrote.
03:12:09.000 The commentary fails to provide context about the chaos and violence that happened before or during these less tense moments.
03:12:17.000 Well, that's fair.
03:12:19.000 Sure.
03:12:19.000 Carlson previously produced a three-part series in 2021 called Patriot purge on the streaming service Fox Nation, which suggested the riot was orchestrated by Antifa groups, the FBI and other government agencies and was a false flag operation to discredit Trump supporters.
03:12:36.000 But...
03:12:37.000 Here's the thing.
03:12:39.000 The FBI was asked if they used Asian provocateurs on January 6th, and they refused to answer.
03:12:45.000 I'm sure you've seen that footage.
03:12:46.000 Yeah.
03:12:46.000 And they know about that guy, Ray Epps, that was on the Capitol grounds saying, we got to go in there.
03:12:52.000 And people are calling him a Fed, and nothing's happened to that guy.
03:12:55.000 Nothing's happened to that guy.
03:12:56.000 But the guy was clearly inciting these people to do something illegal, and they know who he is.
03:13:01.000 And they have it on tape.
03:13:02.000 Yeah, they have it on tape.
03:13:03.000 It's all very wild.
03:13:05.000 The fact that that is a practice, that they hire people to go and rile people up to go do illegal things.
03:13:11.000 But look at the Gretchen Whitmer stuff.
03:13:13.000 Yeah, that's hilarious.
03:13:15.000 Is it?
03:13:16.000 No.
03:13:17.000 It's disturbing to me.
03:13:18.000 It's horrible.
03:13:19.000 For people who don't know, tell everybody the story, because I've told it a million times, just like the Younger Dryas Impact Theory.
03:13:24.000 I don't know if I have all the details exactly right, but there was this quote-unquote conspiracy to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer, who was just recently re-elected as governor of Michigan, and it turned out that people who were instigating were working for the feds.
03:13:36.000 Is that not correct?
03:13:37.000 14 people, 12 of them were FBI informants.
03:13:40.000 Holy crap.
03:13:41.000 Okay, yeah.
03:13:42.000 So they fucking set everything up, and these people that got arrested and wound up doing time, they're like, this was all play.
03:13:48.000 Like, I never really thought we were going to do it.
03:13:51.000 Of course, I would say that, too, if they arrested me for trying to kidnap the governor.
03:13:54.000 Do you ever get accused of being a Fed?
03:13:56.000 No.
03:13:56.000 Yeah, I'm sure.
03:13:58.000 I'm sure if I go deep down the darkest...
03:13:59.000 I'm called a shill for saying the earth is round.
03:14:02.000 So I'm sure someone out there is calling me a Fed.
03:14:05.000 I'm at the level where I am controlled opposition.
03:14:09.000 And then after that, if I get more successful, I'm going to be a PSYOP. So I'm looking forward to having that upgrade.
03:14:15.000 Yeah, I think I'm a useful idiot.
03:14:17.000 Oh, Lex gets called a Fed all the time.
03:14:19.000 Lex, are you a Fed?
03:14:21.000 I'm friends with Mike Baker, who used to be in the CIA. Well, he's a real spook.
03:14:27.000 He's a nice guy.
03:14:28.000 Yeah, I know him.
03:14:28.000 I know him from Fox.
03:14:29.000 I like him a lot.
03:14:31.000 He's my handler.
03:14:32.000 People say he's my handler.
03:14:34.000 Why would your handler be open?
03:14:37.000 I don't know.
03:14:37.000 Because he's pretty fucking critical about the government sometimes.
03:14:40.000 And pretty critical about the way people are handling things.
03:14:43.000 But he also gives you an insight into foreign policy in a way that you're only going to get from somebody who really understands him.
03:14:48.000 He has a very good sense of humor.
03:14:49.000 I really enjoy him.
03:14:49.000 He's a great guy.
03:14:50.000 Like a genuinely good guy.
03:14:52.000 And fucking honest about some stuff.
03:14:55.000 I'm sure he doesn't tell me something.
03:14:56.000 Of course he can't.
03:14:57.000 No, but I've talked to him about stuff, and he's like stuff off the record that's like his little operations.
03:15:01.000 And it's like, okay, this is what we did.
03:15:02.000 This is what I could tell you.
03:15:03.000 Yeah.
03:15:04.000 But when he talks about foreign policy, it's from an educated perspective.
03:15:07.000 He understands how operations work.
03:15:09.000 And I think that's a very valuable insight for people, to hear it from a person like him who's served like that.
03:15:16.000 It's a very different world.
03:15:18.000 And we have this idealistic, utopian view of the rest of the world.
03:15:21.000 Yeah.
03:15:21.000 Yeah, you're right.
03:15:22.000 Do we have this idea that Biden and Putin are going to sit down in a room or Biden and Zelensky and that's what's happening?
03:15:27.000 That's going to be the show.
03:15:28.000 But if you're going to have a WWE, you have the writers, you have the meetings, you know, all the things behind the scenes.
03:15:34.000 Look at the Cuban Missile Crisis.
03:15:35.000 Yep.
03:15:37.000 You know, yeah, it looked like we rolled them, but it's just like, yeah, because Kennedy took credit and Khrushchev had to keep his mouth shut.
03:15:42.000 Yeah.
03:15:43.000 And, you know, there's another problem that's going on right now is that they have a momentum of money running in that direction.
03:15:52.000 So that means there's immense amounts of profit.
03:15:55.000 And the longer this goes on, the more profit can be raised.
03:16:00.000 And then it's the sunk cost fallacy because it's like, well, we spent $50 billion.
03:16:04.000 Are you just going to let $50 billion go to waste?
03:16:06.000 All these lives lost go to waste?
03:16:08.000 We got to get our ROI. We jumped out of Afghanistan and right into Ukraine.
03:16:11.000 Yeah, you're right.
03:16:13.000 And you know what else is interesting?
03:16:15.000 I'm just circling back to the whole national divorce thing.
03:16:17.000 When people are like, oh, if Texas leaves, America won't ever let her go.
03:16:21.000 We stopped hearing about the plight of women under the Taliban in Afghanistan, which is a real problem.
03:16:26.000 Like, if you really were concerned about these humanitarian issues, that is a major, major concern.
03:16:32.000 But because the narrative isn't there, it's like, eh, screw those bitches.
03:16:36.000 Yeah, the narrative of the mistreatment of women in certain countries run by dictators is never discussed.
03:16:44.000 You know, it's always how bad America is.
03:16:47.000 But it's also like, now that we're not there, it's like, ah, too bad.
03:16:50.000 It's a complex chess game they're playing all over the world, and it's also being motivated heavily by money and resources.
03:16:56.000 Control of resources.
03:16:57.000 And power.
03:16:58.000 Power.
03:16:59.000 It's all this weird game that leaders play, and we're stuck.
03:17:02.000 We're stuck being a part of something that can, like, directly have horrific consequences for everyone.
03:17:10.000 Everyone.
03:17:10.000 I'm just gladdened by, and thanks to people like Jimmy Dore is a great example, Tulsi.
03:17:15.000 I love him.
03:17:15.000 I was just on his show.
03:17:16.000 He was on my show.
03:17:17.000 He's the best.
03:17:18.000 The idea that we should take everything coming out of D.C., out of both parties, war parties, with a grain of salt.
03:17:25.000 Exactly.
03:17:25.000 And I think the fact that that's become normalized is really a great thing.
03:17:29.000 If they had their druthers, we'd be in Syria by the boatloads, as one easy example.
03:17:35.000 It's, you know, it goes back to Eisenhower.
03:17:38.000 It goes back to his...
03:17:39.000 It goes back to Wilson.
03:17:40.000 But that speech that he gave on television.
03:17:42.000 Oh, yeah, the military-industrial complex, yeah.
03:17:43.000 That speech, to this day, like, my God, what did he know that he was trying to warn us about?
03:17:48.000 Because this is a guy, this is, you know, World War II. Right, he was the guy.
03:17:53.000 Yeah, I mean, and he's telling us that there's a fucking industry that wants to go to war.
03:17:58.000 We have to be careful of this.
03:18:00.000 And now it's like not even discussed.
03:18:02.000 But now I think now it's not even hidden.
03:18:05.000 No.
03:18:05.000 I think it's really understood that it was really funny.
03:18:08.000 It was like one minute it was Trump's a lunatic for talking about the deep state.
03:18:12.000 And then the next day it's like, thank God we have the deep state to fight Trump.
03:18:15.000 And without blinking an eye.
03:18:17.000 Right.
03:18:17.000 And I think without him in the picture, people – because he in many ways is a distraction because of his huge personality, his aggression, his tweets, which I certainly enjoyed more than anyone.
03:18:27.000 But without him there as a – like either you're for Trump or you have TDS, people are like, wait a minute.
03:18:34.000 There's a lot of – Fucked up shit going on that has nothing to do with...
03:18:39.000 Nothing to do with it.
03:18:39.000 That's nothing to do with him.
03:18:40.000 And if Republicans were doing it, people would be up in arms.
03:18:43.000 Yes, yeah.
03:18:44.000 Up in arms.
03:18:45.000 The same people that have Ukraine flags in their Twitter bio, they would be up in arms.
03:18:50.000 If Trump tried to send troops to Ukraine, forget it.
03:18:54.000 Man.
03:18:55.000 It would be called for impeachment.
03:18:56.000 We're so fucking captured.
03:18:58.000 This country is so captured by these tribal ideologies.
03:19:02.000 It's so strange.
03:19:04.000 And when a person like you comes along that, you know, a self-proclaimed anarchist, that's why people don't know what to do with you.
03:19:09.000 It's really fun.
03:19:10.000 It's weird.
03:19:11.000 They don't know what to do with you.
03:19:11.000 You're like, I don't think it should be any police.
03:19:13.000 I don't think it should be any government.
03:19:14.000 It's also really funny because then it's like, what's your real...
03:19:17.000 Because they can't put me in a box.
03:19:18.000 What's your real agenda?
03:19:19.000 When you say you want Texas to be independent, what do you really mean?
03:19:23.000 I'm like, I want Texas to be independent.
03:19:24.000 Okay, but is it for Israel?
03:19:26.000 Is it for China?
03:19:27.000 Is it because of this?
03:19:28.000 Because of that?
03:19:28.000 Because you're really a Democrat?
03:19:29.000 It's like, okay.
03:19:30.000 Whatever answer bothers you most is what I tell them.
03:19:32.000 You're really a Democrat.
03:19:33.000 Oh, I get that a lot.
03:19:35.000 You're friends with Blair.
03:19:36.000 You're clearly a Democrat.
03:19:37.000 That's the logic.
03:19:39.000 That's literally the logic.
03:19:41.000 Isn't she red?
03:19:42.000 Yeah, but she's trans, so she's a Democrat.
03:19:44.000 Oh my god!
03:19:45.000 This is the thinking.
03:19:46.000 Yeah.
03:19:48.000 Anybody who doesn't believe trans people should be trans, like no one should be trans, you gotta meet Blair White.
03:19:52.000 And you go, oh, okay.
03:19:54.000 Good luck meeting her.
03:19:56.000 She's not very friendly.
03:19:57.000 She's friendly to me.
03:19:58.000 I know, but we may or her spend way too much time.
03:20:02.000 But you know what I'm saying?
03:20:03.000 I know exactly what you're saying.
03:20:04.000 The people that don't think that, it's like that's part of the problem that I have with some people on the right.
03:20:09.000 It's like when it gets to, like, LBGTQ people, especially, like, gay marriage and stuff, like, why do you give a fuck?
03:20:14.000 Like, what are we doing?
03:20:15.000 Well, Debra So talks a lot about this in her book, The End of Gender, and where she talks about, like, for a lot—because the argument is, well, they're all crazy.
03:20:21.000 It's like, okay, sure, but what are you going to do with this so-called crazy person?
03:20:24.000 And So talks in her book, like, for a lot of people, they grow out of it, but for a lot of them, transitioning actually does help their mental health.
03:20:30.000 Yeah, for people that are transitioning, there's a fucking spectrum just like everything else.
03:20:35.000 Exactly.
03:20:35.000 But I'm talking about gay people and gay marriage.
03:20:37.000 Like, for people that oppose that, that's just nuts.
03:20:39.000 Like, if you really don't think that people are gay and you think they should just, like, not give in to that instinct.
03:20:44.000 Wait, you think that?
03:20:45.000 I don't think that's a thing anymore.
03:20:46.000 Oh, they think that for sure.
03:20:47.000 Who says that?
03:20:48.000 There's plenty of people that are Christian that think that it's just like there's temptations to murder and I don't murder.
03:20:54.000 There's people that really think that.
03:20:56.000 If you're tempted to go suck dick, more power to you.
03:20:59.000 I don't think it's just a temptation.
03:21:01.000 I think it's a deep desire.
03:21:03.000 But if you talk to some of them, they do not think that you should engage in that.
03:21:08.000 It's actually a conversation that I had with Ben Shapiro about gay people.
03:21:11.000 He just doesn't think you should do it.
03:21:14.000 I mean, he's married, to his credit, so you're not having to have those urges.
03:21:20.000 But I mean, he has friends that are gay and married.
03:21:23.000 He's friends with Ruben.
03:21:24.000 I asked Ruben about this on my show, and I'm like, dude, how can you invite someone to a wedding?
03:21:30.000 And to know that they're sitting there judging you.
03:21:33.000 And he's like, look, there's a ceiling to my friendship.
03:21:36.000 At a certain point, I realized, okay, I can't completely integrate this guy into my life.
03:21:40.000 And that was a fair answer.
03:21:41.000 I thought that was a good answer.
03:21:43.000 I'm officiating a wedding this weekend.
03:21:46.000 Paul and Eric in Arizona, who are just two close friends of mine.
03:21:48.000 Did you become an ordained minister?
03:21:50.000 No, but I am...
03:21:51.000 Joe, do you know how hard it's going to be for me to not get down on one knee from the officiating stand and propose to one or both of them on the spot?
03:21:59.000 No.
03:22:00.000 So I'm saying it here so I don't have to do it in real life, because I am so close to doing it.
03:22:05.000 Yeah, don't ruin their day.
03:22:07.000 It's their big day, buddy.
03:22:08.000 I mean, you knew it was a snake when you picked it up.
03:22:12.000 Keep the lights on.
03:22:13.000 You know that expression?
03:22:14.000 It's okay to have a snake in the room as long as you have the lights on.
03:22:16.000 Is that it?
03:22:17.000 Yeah.
03:22:17.000 I'm officiating another wedding later in this year for Josh and Zoe.
03:22:21.000 And I'm going to have to point out to Josh that you know she's got a kid.
03:22:24.000 Well, they have a kid together.
03:22:25.000 I mean, this is like a fake wedding because they couldn't get married during COVID. Have you ever officiated a wedding?
03:22:29.000 Yes, I did.
03:22:30.000 Isn't it so fun?
03:22:31.000 Yeah, it was fun.
03:22:32.000 It's such an honor to me.
03:22:33.000 Yeah, I became an ordained minister online.
03:22:34.000 I think I might have to do that.
03:22:36.000 Whatever they need, I'll do.
03:22:37.000 It's easy.
03:22:37.000 Just fill out a form.
03:22:38.000 For the University Life Church, whatever that is.
03:22:40.000 Something like that.
03:22:41.000 Yeah, one of them weird ones.
03:22:42.000 Maybe I'm in a cult.
03:22:43.000 I don't even know about it.
03:22:44.000 Might have been Landmark.
03:22:45.000 Did they turn you into a priest?
03:22:48.000 It's a rabbi.
03:22:50.000 Turned you into a monk?
03:22:51.000 What can I be?
03:22:53.000 Could you get a monk to marry you?
03:22:55.000 Like, what kind of people can marry you?
03:22:56.000 I think anyone can marry you.
03:22:57.000 Right.
03:22:57.000 But I mean, like, isn't there like a religious, like, a Catholic priest clearly can marry you.
03:23:03.000 Right.
03:23:03.000 But can a monk marry you?
03:23:04.000 Yes.
03:23:05.000 If I can marry you...
03:23:06.000 They could.
03:23:06.000 Right.
03:23:07.000 Just because they could.
03:23:08.000 But it's not like a thing where you don't have to get a license.
03:23:11.000 Or you don't have to become ordained.
03:23:12.000 Well, I think if you're a member of an organization that's ordained, it probably carries over.
03:23:16.000 How are you doing Scientology?
03:23:19.000 They tell you who you're marrying.
03:23:21.000 The most gangster thing that Scientology ever did is achieve tax-exempt status.
03:23:26.000 You know, it's just hitting me.
03:23:27.000 I still can't believe that we spent like five minutes on Landmark and you read the whole proposal.
03:23:32.000 We promoted it.
03:23:32.000 Seems like a good organization.
03:23:33.000 I hope they do well with people.
03:23:35.000 Screw your comedy show.
03:23:36.000 I'm going to go check out Landmark.
03:23:38.000 Seems like they have some good ideas.
03:23:41.000 I'm just waiting for the cult part.
03:23:44.000 What's the part that's bad?
03:23:45.000 What's the downside?
03:23:46.000 What is the downside?
03:23:46.000 I'm happier.
03:23:47.000 I have more friends.
03:23:48.000 My career's thriving.
03:23:49.000 Sounds like you're looking at your life in a very positive way.
03:23:52.000 Why is that bad?
03:23:53.000 What the problem is?
03:23:54.000 That's the thing.
03:23:55.000 If you think about that, someone making an organization like that, let's not say Landmark, let's not even talk about them, but someone who espoused very similar ideals about how to live your life, you'd be like, oh, that's a really good path to follow.
03:24:08.000 Seems smart.
03:24:09.000 Maybe I should align myself with them.
03:24:11.000 Yeah.
03:24:12.000 What was her name?
03:24:12.000 Marianne Williamson?
03:24:14.000 Have you ever had her on?
03:24:15.000 No.
03:24:15.000 Is she the presidential candidate?
03:24:17.000 Yeah.
03:24:18.000 I read her book, The Politics of Love, because I did an article about it.
03:24:21.000 I kind of think she's just great.
03:24:23.000 She had this piece in her book that really kind of kicked my ass in terms of just this is really great information.
03:24:29.000 She has this thing called A Course on Miracles, so you can imagine.
03:24:31.000 But she used to teach it in the 80s in LA and like all her audience is gay.
03:24:36.000 And they're dropping like flies from AIDS, right?
03:24:38.000 And she's trying to give them hope and it's like, Marianne, Ms. Williamson, we're all dying.
03:24:42.000 And she goes, okay, I'm not telling you it's going to be cured tomorrow.
03:24:46.000 What if it's like diabetes?
03:24:47.000 What if you have to live with it all your life and they cut off your foot and then your eyes pop out?
03:24:51.000 Is that so bad?
03:24:52.000 Is that so impossible?
03:24:53.000 And when you put it in those terms, it's like, okay, this is something I can actually hope for.
03:24:57.000 It becomes less of a miracle and more of like a managed realistic hope.
03:25:02.000 Wasn't that a book, A Course in Miracles?
03:25:05.000 I'm sure she had a book too, yeah.
03:25:06.000 But there was a book that was written by someone who claimed that...
03:25:10.000 I think they claimed they were channeling.
03:25:13.000 Was that A Course in Miracles?
03:25:15.000 There was a book that I remember in the 90s.
03:25:17.000 A bunch of people were trying to hand...
03:25:19.000 I think I wound up buying one.
03:25:20.000 Because a bunch of people were telling people to go get it.
03:25:23.000 It's changed my life.
03:25:24.000 One of those, I was like, what is it?
03:25:26.000 Is that the book?
03:25:27.000 A Course in Miracles.
03:25:29.000 A Course in Miracles.
03:25:31.000 1976 book by Helen Schumann.
03:25:33.000 Underlying premise is that the greatest miracle is the act of simply gaining a full awareness of love's presence in a person's life.
03:25:42.000 Schumann said the book had been dictated to her word for word via a process of inner dictation.
03:25:50.000 From Jesus Christ.
03:25:51.000 Yeah, that's what it is.
03:25:52.000 There it is.
03:25:53.000 So that book became, like, a super popular book with, like, alternative thinking people that were looking for some sort of religious thing to...
03:26:02.000 That New Age stuff?
03:26:03.000 Yeah.
03:26:04.000 Yeah, like, I'm not into religion, but I'm into this.
03:26:06.000 It's spiritual.
03:26:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:26:08.000 Yeah, the, I'm not into religion, but I'm into spirituality thing.
03:26:11.000 Yeah.
03:26:11.000 But remember, Bill Hicks was in that book.
03:26:14.000 Was he really?
03:26:14.000 Mm-hmm.
03:26:15.000 I'd never guess that.
03:26:16.000 Wow.
03:26:16.000 Yeah.
03:26:17.000 I knew one of his ex-girlfriends who told me that that was something that he read.
03:26:22.000 I think he maybe even talked about it in an interview, too.
03:26:24.000 But it had a blue cover on it, and everybody was passing it around.
03:26:28.000 It was like the thing in the 90s.
03:26:30.000 Huh.
03:26:31.000 But then it kind of died off.
03:26:32.000 I never hear about it anymore.
03:26:34.000 Miracle over.
03:26:35.000 Is that the same lady who just announced she's going to be president?
03:26:37.000 Yeah, that's very awesome.
03:26:38.000 Yeah, that's her.
03:26:39.000 So is she reading based on that book?
03:26:43.000 A Course in Miracles.
03:26:44.000 Oh, I thought she originated that.
03:26:45.000 Inspiring teachings on A Course in Miracles.
03:26:47.000 Yeah, so she's basing it on this book.
03:26:50.000 But it was dictated by Jesus Christ, so it must be good.
03:26:54.000 Well, yeah, he's really good at his stuff.
03:26:56.000 Well, he went through a lady in the 70s.
03:26:58.000 Yeah.
03:26:59.000 Yeah, he came back for a little bit.
03:27:00.000 But just through her.
03:27:01.000 Just checking in.
03:27:02.000 Just one more book.
03:27:03.000 You know, I think maybe people are getting the wrong impression of some of the stuff that I wrote 2,000 years ago.
03:27:07.000 He didn't write any bit.
03:27:07.000 It was all hearsay.
03:27:08.000 Oh, that's right.
03:27:09.000 So it's like, listen, Luke's a good guy, but come on.
03:27:12.000 Let me give you from the first person perspective.
03:27:14.000 And I didn't really die.
03:27:15.000 I was just like hiding.
03:27:17.000 I just wanted to take a break.
03:27:18.000 I said, yeah, I'm dead.
03:27:19.000 I was a peekaboo champion.
03:27:21.000 I just need a break.
03:27:24.000 Do you need a little silent time?
03:27:25.000 I need a little alone time.
03:27:26.000 I need some me time.
03:27:28.000 Jesus needs some me time, okay?
03:27:30.000 Dude, it's already 5.16.
03:27:32.000 Oh, crap.
03:27:32.000 Get the fuck out of here.
03:27:33.000 I got a comedy club to open.
03:27:34.000 Yes, sir.
03:27:35.000 Hold the book up.
03:27:36.000 Let everybody know.
03:27:37.000 It's available right now.
03:27:39.000 The White Pill by Michael Ballas.
03:27:42.000 Is it available in audio form as well?
03:27:43.000 Yes, sir.
03:27:44.000 Did you do the narration?
03:27:45.000 Of course I did.
03:27:45.000 Of course you did.
03:27:46.000 I knew it.
03:27:47.000 Yes, sir.
03:27:48.000 Wouldn't you want?
03:27:48.000 I like it when the book is read by the author.
03:27:50.000 Oh, I love it.
03:27:51.000 I hate it when an actor reads someone and you can tell they don't really give a fuck about this.
03:27:55.000 Especially if you know the author's voice.
03:27:57.000 Yes.
03:27:57.000 Like their literal voice.
03:27:58.000 Exactly.
03:27:59.000 You or Jordan or someone like that.
03:28:00.000 I can't.
03:28:01.000 Yes.
03:28:02.000 Thanks, Lex.
03:28:03.000 Yeah, we'll cut into Lex later.
03:28:05.000 It seems rude to cut into him on the air.
03:28:07.000 Yeah, I guess.
03:28:08.000 Okay.
03:28:08.000 All right.
03:28:09.000 Appreciate you, brother.
03:28:10.000 Goodbye, everybody.