Comedian Ron White stopped by to open for Joe Rogan's show in Austin, TX last night, and the night was a blast. We talk about how great it was to have him on the bill, and how much he's grown since then. We also talk about what it's like to be the manager of a comedy club and how important it is to have a good time with your friends and family. And of course, we talk about the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and the new Family Feud movie that's coming out on Netflix. Joe also talks about how he's in love with Steve Harvey and why he thinks it's a good idea to cheat on his wife. And he talks about why he doesn't have a crush on Steve Harvey. It's a fun, lighthearted episode that's full of laughs and a lot of good times. Enjoy! -Joe Rogan and Matt Rogan Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Cover art by Ian Dorsch. The theme song is by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Our ad music is by Build Buildings. We do not own the rights to any of the music used on this episode of the podcast. Thank you to my good friend, Mark Phillips for producing the music for this episode. If you like the music, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and we'll be sure to give us a shoutout in next week's episode of Monday Morning Coffee Talk about the music we're listening to the music in the next episode of Coffee Talk with Joe Rogans podcast. Thank you so much love, Matt and I'll be looking out for you, too! -Jon Sorrentino and we appreciate you, Jon Rogan is a good friend of the show. -Josie and I hope you're having a great day. -- Thank you for listening and supporting the music is so much, thank you for being a good day, Jon and I'm glad you're listening out! -- thank you, Joe and I really appreciate it so much Jon and you're a lot, good night, bye, bye. XOXO. Jon and Joe and the rest of the crew at The Rogan Experience. Sarah, Sarah and I will see you soon. Love ya, bye! Sarah
00:00:55.000These Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday shows that we've been doing out here, they're just stacked.
00:00:59.000Dude, and then, let's just say, highlight of my career, they're chanting the machine, and I go, I'm not going to tell it, and they start cheering it, and I go, alright, I'll tell it if Ron White tells his tater salad story.
00:01:12.000And people didn't even know he was up there.
00:01:15.000They go fucking crazy, he walks on stage, I FaceTime Leigh-Anne, I FaceTime Leigh-Anne, who's like Ron's her favorite comic.
00:01:22.000Guy in the front row is recording Tom Tellentators, or shooting Leanne watching it.
00:02:26.000I was like, if there's careers that I've looked at and wanted to emulate, it's him, Attell, you know, those guys are the fucking my goats, you know?
00:03:26.000Have you ever seen Steve Harvey eat, someone made like collard green dumplings or something, and he goes, takes a bite, and he freezes, and he goes...
00:03:37.000Now I'm having a black people moment right now.
00:06:07.000Bothers me more than like and I don't think that's what he was doing I think it was just like who is that guy like I don't know what that guy is I don't think it was like I I don't like that guy I think he just genuinely didn't know who he was But I think nothing bothers me more than like those old dudes that don't like the young guys coming up They don't like the fact that young guys are coming up because I remember being in that young guy position I'm like ah you old cunt Like,
00:07:57.000You know, a lot of these guys, they didn't understand what was anchoring them in L.A. And one of the things that was anchoring them in L.A. was that we had a tribe.
00:08:05.000We would all get together at the store.
00:08:20.000He just decided he had to get the fuck out of LA for his mental health, and so he wanted to be a more laid-back place, and Nashville clicked with him.
00:09:09.000I don't like, you know, I just don't think that, like the weak, like wafy sort of, like some people are into that weak sort of wafy looking thing.
00:09:21.000Like that doesn't make any sense to me.
00:11:30.000So you heard it, either you heard it at a place, or you listened to it on a radio, or you bought a CD. With these kids, they're getting inundated constantly.
00:11:40.000And they're also getting songs that are like snippets off of reels on Instagram or those little TikTok videos.
00:14:46.000I was going to buy one and use it, because this is the way my brain works, use it to promote my special.
00:14:51.000So if you just put razzle-dazzle all over the side of it, drive it around LA, that's the way my brain works.
00:14:57.000So just think about the difference in timelines, like how different it is to look at a 1971 car and then look at that in 1981, and it was already a classic.
00:15:10.000And this 2023 year we're living in, if you look at things from 2000, they don't seem that long ago.
00:15:21.000Technology from a 1961 car to a 1971 car, if I'm not mistaken, the 71 car starts having automatic windows and an automatic trunk that locks down.
00:15:37.000Is exponentially bigger, and you look at the car you have, your Porsche, compared to where they are today, how different is, I mean, I guess they're fucking electric now.
00:15:46.000Well, yeah, but no, even the gas ones, the internal combustion engines, they have better electronics, they have better suspension management systems, they have better traction control.
00:15:58.000They do a lot of different things now.
00:16:35.000And then as time goes on, and now you're living in this weird world where you have the brand new Hummer, which is an electric Hummer, which is this giant SUV that GMC makes that goes zero to 60 in like three seconds.
00:16:49.000That kind of performance was unheard of in cars.
00:16:53.000But how come that doesn't translate over to F1 and NASCAR? Will there be a NASCAR electric series at one point?
00:17:02.000It would be wild if it was, but they would lose all that sound.
00:17:05.000I think that's part of the thing that people like.
00:24:03.000My uncle called me in 2008 when the housing crisis collapsed and he was fucking terrified.
00:24:11.000My uncle's one of the smartest dudes I know.
00:24:13.000And he was like, this is gonna be real bad.
00:24:16.000There was a house that I used to live in and the next door to me, there was a lot that this guy had bought and he was planning forever to build his dream house.
00:24:28.000It was a nice lot and had a good view, it was beautiful.
00:24:31.000And so I would go out there and like, it was like 2009, I would go out there and there's this old guy and he would just be raking.
00:24:40.000And I would see him, I'd wave to him, and then one day I just said, let me just go talk to that dude, see what's going on.
00:24:47.000Because it was, you know, are you going to build?
00:24:59.000And so I'm just sitting there with this dude who's probably at the time 70 75 It was the last years of his life and he's just raking This plot of land that was going to be the place for his dream house before the 2008 collapse He just realized like man the real victims of all that financial malarkey The real victims of all that fucking corruption and deregulation and all the
00:25:29.000chaos that led to so many people losing their houses and so many people losing all their money.
00:25:35.000This fucking guy just raking his thing made me so sad.
00:30:05.000Yeah, we have a girl's bus and a boy's bus, and then we have a party bus.
00:30:10.000So we all get in the party bus, start driving, we caravan, and then when we all are pretty fucked up, we call ahead, they pull all the buses aside, we all get in our buses and go to bed.
00:30:19.000And Big J, I couldn't even tell you why we were laughing so hard on the bus.
00:30:23.000We were laughing so hard we had to pull over.
00:31:19.000There's the thing about traveling you get disjointed and disconnected and uprooted It's something good about that because it allows you to reset and just think about things and out of the pattern of your life But also sometimes the pattern of your life is how you create like a balance if you have a good pattern I have zero balance.
00:31:38.000Yeah, I have zero balance So you like the chaos of the road.
00:31:57.000I got to figure out how to put it together.
00:31:59.000I need a couple of tense pole stories.
00:32:01.000But for me, I'm always working to a special.
00:32:05.000So when I started this tour, this special that's airing right now, this material started in January 2020. And then I did the Drive-In Movie Theater tour.
00:32:16.000I mean, I couldn't sit at home during the pandemic.
00:32:18.000I was like, I gotta come up with something.
00:32:20.000And so I started doing this material in this Drive-In Movie Theater.
00:32:23.000Didn't you get that idea from Eliza Schlesinger?
00:32:58.000And then once I get ready for a special, once I know I have a date on a special, I mean, I'm so obsessive-compulsive.
00:33:04.000I think people look at me and they think I'm a moron because I take my shirt off and I drink a lot.
00:33:08.000But I'm so fucking over-obsessive-compulsive about stand-up that as soon as I knew I had the shoot date, I mean, I pick out my date based on when I set my tour.
00:33:23.000So I want it to be a place I've never performed, that material.
00:33:26.000I want it to be a place I can move at least 12,000 tickets.
00:34:47.000To, like, be that person who's, like, publicly loved You know, like Will Smith was until that moment.
00:34:56.000I mean, until that moment, nobody really had a bad thing to say about maybe he didn't like one movie or maybe he thought the superhero movie was dumb.
00:35:33.000I'm not happy that it happened, but I'm happy the way it happened because when I was trying to explain to someone who's not involved in show business how bizarre the industry is and how untethered those people are to either morals or ethics or Just the reality of human nature.
00:35:58.000They are completely connected to the zeitgeist in terms of what's popular and what's trendy and what's accepted by our group and what's rejected by our group that no one has, I mean,
00:36:14.000not no one, but in general, the mindset of the people in Hollywood, there's very little independent thought.
00:36:23.000So when Will Smith, after smacking Chris Rock and all that other craziness, goes on stage and wins the Academy Award and gets a fucking standing ovation.
00:43:13.000Did I ever tell you the time when Norton and I were having dinner after a show, and we were in Austin, and some lady comes up to him because she knows he's into BDSM, so he's into dominatrices, and she comes over and tells us that she's a dominatrix.
00:43:30.000So she sits down with us and tells us a story because she knows that Norton's into it and tells us it's like mostly these very, very wealthy business owners and CEOs and these like buttoned down guys.
00:43:46.000And then what they really want to do to blow that steam off is just be really naughty.
00:44:49.000And never got hard until they put me in this thing, like latex.
00:44:56.000She wrapped me in it, and she slid a tube in it, and she squirted some sort of lube into the tube and started moving it around inside the latex.
00:49:08.000Yeah, and she was kind of relaying what it was like to have all these people inside of her and talking about the fingernails, scratching her, because there was just men off the street.
00:50:20.000It was just weird because they like, if I remember correctly, it was quite a long time ago, like 20 years ago, but they were talking to her about it.
00:52:00.000A documentary explores, see if you can get it, Annabelle Chong's adult film star whose claim to fame is the world's biggest gangbang where she had sex with 251 men in 10 hours.
00:52:23.000Yeah, that was what was interesting about it, was that she's a very smart person, but is doing this thing that you would think would be a very terrible idea.
00:52:36.000You gotta bring that up on a first date, right?
00:52:40.000I would think, yeah, don't wait until you really love each other.
00:52:44.000Because that's gonna be a hard one to get past.
00:52:46.000Do you, when, this is an intimate question, you don't have to ask this, but when you met your wife, did you ever ask how many people have you been with?
00:53:27.000Well, that's the cool thing about watching a whole new hour get launched.
00:53:31.000Because I go up like a fire hose and just start trying, like as ideas come to me, I'm just like spitting them out, spitting them out, spitting them out.
00:53:38.000But that was what was so cool was watch you navigate through that process, like, and knowing that it was, but also everyone there to see you do it.
00:53:55.000It's interesting because that is the stand-up I used to do before I started doing bigger venues.
00:54:01.000When I first did my first theater, Tommy called me and he was like, it's got to be a little more structured.
00:54:05.000You'll see, but it needs to be a little more structured.
00:54:08.000And I didn't understand what he was talking about and I realized...
00:54:10.000It can be fun, it can be wild, but you can't, any of the club cheat codes that we have, I don't know if, you can't explain it to everyone, but there's some cheat codes you can get in the club to like muscle your way through a bit that you can't get in a theater.
00:55:59.000There's a couple things of advice that I'm really glad I took.
00:56:03.000The number one, number one bit of advice that I'm glad I took is when you came up to me at the Ice House with the whiskey, shots of Jack, and two beers.
00:56:14.000And you said, hey, we're trying to be your friend.
00:56:29.000Grateful that it was you that said it in that moment and that I listened because the group of friends I have now is so wide and so thick and it's because of that one moment.
00:56:40.000I just was like, fuck comics, they're crazy.
00:56:43.000Well, I knew that you had had some bad experiences with some other comics that we know, one in specific that we know that's out of his fucking mind.
00:56:51.000And I was like, dude, you met some bad people.
00:58:21.000I go, you should be a huge stand-up comedian.
00:58:24.000You know, but what's crazy is, I think maybe now you can hear that advice and connect to where I am today and going, okay, he's got a movie coming out, he's got all these big things.
00:58:33.000But you don't believe in yourself then.
01:03:42.000If someone could say, look, you could stay sick for the rest of your life, but you never have to work again, you're going to have unlimited income, but you're going to feel like absolute dog shit every day.
01:04:55.000Do four miles, head over Rogan, eat salmon, be healthy.
01:04:59.000I'm telling you, I've never been more motivated with health because of dealing with ways to wellness, because once you start taking that accountability, you go, well, now it's time to right the boat, for real.
01:05:34.000Because I know, I never understood, before I worked out the way I do now, I never understood the way your brain worked about your, that without working out, you'd want to fucking kill someone.
01:11:41.000And then I just started getting into the history of how these things were made and how crazy it is that someone figured out how to make these little springs and gears move exactly to the tune of 24 hours in a day.
01:13:41.000Instead, I just look at my watch, and it shows me.
01:13:43.000Because, you know, it's always a little off, two minutes, you know, someone's supposed to go on at 8, they go on at 8.04, and they're like, you don't know when you get off.
01:13:52.000And so, to have that little feature on a dive bezel, where the bezel spins around to the minute hand, is fucking huge.
01:13:59.000The GMT is my, I totally know I wouldn't buy a watch for a year, because she gave me this for my birthday, and she was like, respect it's a gift, and enjoy it for at least one year before you go buying another watch.
01:14:14.000I don't think you'd enjoy being inside our house and watching our marriage.
01:14:17.000If I gave you my ring cam or my Nest Cam, I think there'd be a couple times where you'd call me and go, Hey man, I need to give you some advice real quick.
01:14:25.000But maybe that wouldn't my, you know, maybe it's not good advice.
01:14:29.000You guys seem like you've got a good relationship.
01:17:26.000And so I look at her life and I go, I'm so glad.
01:17:28.000Don't you think that attractive women, when they get older and the attractiveness sort of goes away, some of them are forced to kind of like look at life in a different way?
01:17:38.000And it's probably not the worst thing for them.
01:19:10.000But I'm lucky that I grew up like a mediocrely attractive, never jacked, never super talented guy, because I think it gives you empathy.
01:19:23.000Well, I think that you can really get confused if you're super attractive and think that whatever attention that you get is normal, that you deserve it, or that you're special.
01:19:36.000Somebody said this, I forget who it was, we've said this quote before, but beauty is a short-lived tyranny.
01:26:20.000Okay, so it says, inactive recommendations, 2% in facial redefining or breast firming formulations in addition to any product where replenishing effect is desired.
01:26:31.000So from 2011, they probably got way better shit.
01:27:14.000I'm on testosterone TRT. Yeah, that's normal.
01:27:17.000TRT. Yeah, if you're ever getting onto that, I'd be like, hey, [...
01:27:24.000I know I haven't felt the effects yet, because it takes like a month before it starts actually raising your levels, but the first day, I was fucking— What are you talking about?
01:30:15.000It's all the meat and the bread and the sauce with a little garlic in the sauce and the melted privolone and you're just eating that meatball sub.
01:30:56.000In my head, I'm like, I'm hitting the fucking home run.
01:30:58.000And so I go out to the kids and we take batting practice and I hit a fucking home run at 50. I never hit a home run in high school.
01:31:05.000I never once hit it out of the park in high school.
01:31:07.000And I hit a fucking home run at 50. And there's a weird thing that happens in your brain and I don't know if it's denial or if it's like accepting Not wanting to accept the truth, but I literally was like, I hung out with Wade Boggs and fucking Derrick Brooks and all these pro athletes, and I was like,
01:35:59.000Incredible conversations like hours long with some of the most fascinating people and then also to research them I read their books So it's like actually read it no mostly most of its audio I listen to them driving and in the sauna and you listen because like if I listen to an audiobook my my Imagination goes off and I start thinking different thoughts.
01:36:19.000Oh, yeah, like it'll spark something like the what's the one about the the What's the book about the people from Portugal coming down the coast of Africa?
01:36:30.000It's like the conquistadors or the conquerors.
01:36:32.000It's a book and the second I hear, and then they had the Muslim chief come out and they put shit in his mouth with pork.
01:39:27.000But the first time I ever heard about gay was I was in a shower with my cousins, and my cousin Jenny said, oh, these two guys, they're our uncles?
01:41:45.000Quicksand porn, I heard about it, and what had happened is, we didn't get to see a lot of porn when we were kids, because porn wasn't out, but the only thing we got to see was a device plot, it was called Quicksand, because Cleopatra of the Nile had Quicksand in it, so then all TV shows started throwing Quicksand in it.
01:47:31.000Because nowadays kids are on the spectrum of sexuality and I'm not...
01:47:36.000Certain is the same as when we were because like when we were it was almost like we were influenced by the zeitgeist for sure Yeah, we were born and I remember them talking about this.
01:47:46.000We were born straight or born gay wasn't a choice I would argue now.
01:47:51.000It's probably on the spectrum of choice for kids I think some people choose it.
01:48:13.000It seems like girls are trying more lesbianism.
01:48:16.000It's like when things are accepted by society, and not just accepted but actually celebrated, Sometimes people, and there's no negative consequences.
01:48:26.000I have a whole joke about it, about girls doing gay stuff.
01:49:26.000Dude, I have a bit I've been trying to work out about...
01:49:30.000I tried to do it last night, a little bit on stage, about growing up in Florida, there's so many predators that you grow up a little bit afraid.
01:49:37.000Yeah, I saw you talking about that, about the giraffes.
01:49:44.000When we were in Hawaii, I was in Hawaii with my girls, and we were with this Hawaiian guy, and he was very casual and very loose, and I said, the guy seems like he has no anxiety, and Isla, my youngest, goes, yeah, they have no snakes here, Dad.
01:49:57.000Imagine if you grew up without snakes.
01:50:47.000And they were still protected back then.
01:50:49.000My point was, when I went from San Francisco, where I lived in San Francisco, my next door neighbor was this gay couple, and my aunt, who was staying with us at the time, used to go next door and smoke pot And play bongos with the gay guys.
01:51:05.000They would all get naked and they would be playing bongos together and she loved the fact that she'd get naked with these gay guys and they didn't care about her because they were gay.
01:51:12.000And so it was like completely normal to me to be around gay people.
01:51:15.000Then I went to Gainesville and I was friends with this Cuban kid and his dad.
01:51:21.000His dad was so mad because they were trying to give people gay marriage.
01:51:26.000And I remember he threw the newspaper down on the kitchen table.
01:51:31.000He's like, I can't fucking believe this.
01:52:02.000The only people that it should matter to are the gay people that want to get married.
01:52:05.000But to this guy, who's a married guy with a kid who is my friend, his kid was my buddy, and I'm over his house, To him, gay people getting married was like, what the fuck?
01:52:50.000The same way you get pickpocketed is they hit you with one thing while they do the other thing.
01:52:55.000So what that is is this guy's getting pickpocketed.
01:52:58.000He's getting distracted by the bump, gay marriage, when the government's coming at him from the other way going, now that we got you there, let's talk about the thing we really brought you to talk about.
01:53:07.000That's the thing we want to change your mind on.
01:53:08.000I don't even know if it's that calculated that the government does it in a calculated manner.
01:58:01.000Reignited the old Chris Rock that doesn't give a fuck, that's not trying to be a movie star.
01:58:05.000I think when those people clapped for Will Smith, I think that was him realizing, what the fuck am I doing with these people?
01:58:14.000And what I identify with about the Chris Rock slap was...
01:58:19.000I don't think anyone realizes, and I apologize if this is not the life Chris had, but Chris was a smaller dude growing up in Brooklyn, when Brooklyn was Brooklyn.
01:58:28.000You know there were guys that took liberties with him as a young guy.
01:58:58.000That's all I saw was like, yeah man, that's all of us that were the bigger guy got to take advantage of the little guy, and then we became comics, and they go, don't worry, don't worry.
01:59:08.000One day, one day, I'm going to destroy you when you can't handle it.
01:59:45.000Whatever your appetite for alcohol and your ability to digest it, the fact that it was only fucked up by blood pressure medication, it's insanity.
01:59:55.000People drinking half as much would be dead.
01:59:58.000I think people misremember how much I drink.
02:02:15.000When you're a bachelor for long enough...
02:02:17.000You end up becoming set in your ways where the only person you have to make happy is yourself.
02:02:22.000And so you make sure that that guy's taken care of first.
02:02:24.000When you get married, and I'm sure you're going to understand this, you start realizing my wants and needs are part of a team's wants and needs.
02:02:30.000And so I need to make sure everyone's happy.
02:02:32.000So you learn compromise at an age usually where then you learn to compromise with everybody.
02:02:39.000You text me and go, hey, can we do 130?
02:06:13.000Is when you're the fifth most famous person in a room, you're not the most famous person in a room.
02:06:21.000So what sucks, I don't mean it sucks, but what sucks currently for me is that I don't get to sit and listen and drink it in.
02:06:30.000It's like I'm sitting with you, Jim, Ron, Tony Hinchko's in there, Mark Smalls is in there, we're all in there, but mostly, and Mark Smalls texted me this morning, he's like, it was fun watching you listen.
02:06:40.000Hold that thought, I gotta piss again.
02:07:13.000Or like sold the movie or did the thing.
02:07:15.000And so I find myself, and I find it gross, I find myself talking.
02:07:18.000Or in LA, I'll talk to a lot of comics and then they'll go, like comics I respect, they'll go like, so tell me what I can do to grow my podcast or tell me what to do with the podcast or this thing.
02:07:29.000I don't mean this arrogant, I just mean it as like a self-awareness.
02:07:32.000Is last night, Mark Smalls texted me this morning and said it's fun being there and fun listening.
02:07:38.000And I was like, yeah, man, I don't listen anymore because I got to a place where I got to a place where maybe I'm putting myself in the room.
02:07:47.000I put myself in rooms where I talk a lot.
02:09:17.000It was the beauty of watching, I know I've told you this, but watching George and my girls, George and I, when we were on Fully Loaded last year, they only know Joey as Uncle Joey.
02:13:22.000Well, first of all, there's bizarre chemical doorways in your brain.
02:13:25.000Your brain produces psychedelic chemicals that we don't understand.
02:13:30.000And there's a study right now, one of the things that Graham Hancock was talking to me about recently was that there's a study that's going on- Graham Hancock has a great thing on fucking Netflix.
02:14:09.000All of his hypothesis and now it's correlated with data that shows about these asteroid impacts and so Randall Carlson and him teaming together.
02:14:21.000So Randall's an expert on these comet impacts and the impact that it had in the Younger Dryas impact theory and then Graham is an expert on these ancient civilizations and so the two of them together Have put together this very, very fascinating timeline of the rebirth of human civilization,
02:14:40.000which is around 11,800 years ago, that we got fucking rocked and it reset the Earth.
02:14:47.000But he was talking about this and he was talking about, on the last podcast we did, he was talking about these studies that they're doing out of a university in England where they're doing a slow drip DMT experience with these people.
02:15:04.000And because they're doing it for hours and hours, they do a slow drip where they keep them in this state, which is normally a very transient state.
02:15:13.000Because you hit it with a fucking pipe.
02:15:18.000So this, because it's an IV, because it's coming in a drip, it's like constant and continuous.
02:15:24.000And these people are going to the same place and they're having repeatable experiences.
02:15:29.000So instead of having like a 15-minute DMT trip, which a lot of people have that's like overwhelming, you can't even figure out what's going on, then it's over.
02:15:36.000Instead of that, you're going to the exact same place over and over and over again and getting more and more comfortable with it and coming back with very similar stories.
02:15:45.000So yeah, it's a repeatable environment where they're encountering entities and they're trying to map it.
02:15:52.000So these people are doing these long-term studies with long-term experiments, meaning like not a 15-minute trip, but multiple hours at a time.
02:16:04.000And they're coming back with like a map of the territory.
02:16:11.000The theory that many people have is that death opens up a chemical gateway in the mind, and that chemical gateway takes whatever the soul is, whatever consciousness is, and transports it into this new realm.
02:16:26.000It allows you, your conscious mind, to access this new realm which is available to you upon death.
02:16:33.000And so a lot of the ancient cultures that did ayahuasca and mushrooms, they would talk about this realm as being like a well of souls that you encounter disembodied Life forms,
02:16:52.000And this has been a staple of so many religions.
02:16:58.000There's so many religions that talk about the afterlife.
02:17:00.000I mean, I get that you would want to come up with something like that just because you wanted to Have some sort of a reason to keep going with a rational mind when you're dealing with this existential angst of a temporary existence and one day you're just going to be worm food.
02:17:35.000It's like what Bourdain did to himself.
02:17:37.000There's like this romantic notion that some people have that to end this depressing thinking is like to just do it, just to end your own life is the best way to just get through this.
02:21:24.000Like, one of my regrets, and obviously not, because it's not a regret, so I'm happy where I am today, but I would have loved to have worked at the Comedy Store.
02:21:34.000No, no, I would have loved to have, not as a doorman, I would have liked to have tried, put myself out there, and tried to get past at the Comedy Store earlier in life.
02:21:41.000I remember saying this to you, and I don't know if you remember this, we were both drunk, we were out on the patio at the store, And you said, yeah, we wouldn't be friends.
02:22:34.000Where he can go through the shit and come out on the other side, lose his mom at 13, and come out winning.
02:22:39.000Joey, he also had friends that loved him.
02:22:43.000When Joey was in the cocaine days, that's when I started taking extra opening acts on the road with me, in case Joey didn't show up.
02:22:52.000It was like how Ari got a job, because I used to have just one guy that had taken the road with me, and then Joey didn't show up sometimes, and so I said, okay, I gotta bring someone else.
02:23:03.000So if Joey shows up, it's a three-man show.
02:23:05.000If Joey doesn't show up, it's just me and Ari.
02:23:08.000That's how Ari started going on the road with me.
02:23:11.000We were on Fully Loaded, and everyone ate mushrooms one night.
02:23:37.000And so, four in the morning, we're all in our bunks, and someone opens my curtain, and they're like, hey, the mushrooms didn't kick in well with Joey.
02:26:10.000It's one of the ways that I know that I'm feeling bad, other than working out.
02:26:13.000When I'm working out, I can really tell.
02:26:15.000In the middle of COVID, my whole family had COVID. My one daughter got it first, and then my wife got it, and then my second daughter got it.
02:27:16.000Where I didn't have any podcasts, so I was wondering, I was like, okay, when I get tested on Monday morning, I wonder if I'm going to be positive.
02:33:42.000The reason why I bring up you shouldn't work out while you're sick is because even for elite athletes, when they work out, when they get sick, they just get sicker.
02:33:50.000And that's what happened with Hamzat Shemaev.
02:33:53.000Hamzat Shemaev was one of the best fighters in the UFC. He got COVID and kept training.
02:34:20.000If you let it get deep into your body, like if you break yourself down, like it seems to have affected, I know quite a few people that got it really bad when they were drinking.
02:34:30.000Like they were really drunk and depleted and their immune system was crashed, which is often times how people get sick, and then they got it really bad.
02:34:37.000But the people that worked out while they had it, man, they kept it for a long fucking time.
02:34:41.000And Hamzat posted a photograph of his toilet where it was like blood splattered in the toilet because he was throwing up blood.
02:34:50.000And he was saying, like, he's going to have to retire from fighting because his lungs were fucked up from COVID. So Leanne had long COVID. And she got, when the first time she got COVID, I think she had COVID a couple times now.
02:35:02.000The first time she got it, she worked out the whole time she had it.
02:35:05.000Yeah, that's probably what gave her long COVID. It probably broke her body down.
02:35:09.000It's like your body never has a chance to fully recover.
02:35:12.000You've got to let your body get to 100%.
02:35:17.000And when you are exercising, what you're doing is you're taxing your body's resources so your body has to repair and improve and it repairs your cardiovascular system and your muscular system and you get stronger and you get healthier.
02:35:32.000But it's all about breaking down and rebuilding.
02:35:35.000Well, when you're sick, you don't rebuild.
02:36:18.000So I have circuits that I repeat and then I either add weight or I add repetitions or I'll add additional exercises to the circuit when I decide the circuit's too easy.
02:36:27.000Can you post those on Instagram from now on?
02:36:31.000I try not to make it too public, because I think part of what I like to do is I like to do it by myself.
02:36:40.000I've done it before, like I've talked about what I've done before, but I think there's something that's good about just doing it in silence.
02:37:13.000But you understand the value in knowing your medicine.
02:37:17.000As an outsider, I'm not advocating that you should post these for real, because if that's how it works for you, it should work.
02:37:23.000But I am curious, when we did the 100 push-ups, a perfect example, knowing that that's the benchmark, It's interesting to see how hard you actually are pushing it,
02:37:39.000because if I wrote my own workouts, they'd be fucking cakewalks.
02:38:24.000And I'm just going like, fuck this workout.
02:38:26.000But like it's curious I'm curious about like guys like you I say I say you David Goggins and Cam Haynes because those are like the guys I enjoy but like I'm like Cam Haynes is pretty specific I do I do 12 miles every day at lunch which is insane is fucking insane And then Polar Plunge and this.
02:39:05.000For a runner, so powerful, is that he's talking about getting back into running, because he had taken some time off, so he had an injury.
02:39:12.000He said, what I'd like to do, I'm misremembering, I'm sure, but I do two minutes of running and then five minutes of walking.
02:39:17.000Two minutes of running to get back into running.
02:39:19.000It was so fucking useful as an outsider looking in, because I go, oh shit, you know, I gained some weight on this last tour, and I'm trying to get back, and I go, that's really interesting.
02:39:29.000This morning on the treadmill, I did him.
02:41:32.000Yeah, I've hurt my left knee a couple of times now.
02:41:36.000I tore my MCL, and then I kept training with this torn MCL, and it got pretty bad to the point where I would do Muay Thai, and it would swell up, and then I was like, God damn it.
02:41:47.000And so then I got a bunch of stem cells in it, and I haven't done any running, and I haven't done any Muay Thai in like almost a year.
02:41:58.000It doesn't bother me at all when I do squats or I did all the knees over toes stuff.
02:42:02.000But the problem is, you know, I'm a meathead.
02:42:06.000And when I start working out, especially when I start hitting the bag, because it's so much torque on your knees and it puts a lot of stress on your tendons.
02:42:15.000If you have a weakened tendon that you're healing and then you kick really hard, it's like it just never heals.
02:42:23.000It would get better and then I'd fuck it up again.
02:42:35.000Let's keep rehabilitating it and get it to the point where you could fucking fully trust it before you start kicking the shit out of a heavy bag.
02:47:15.000I got pulled over once when I wasn't drunk.
02:47:17.000I dropped my phone in between my legs.
02:47:20.000I was in my car, and I was driving, and I don't remember if someone called me or something, but I was on the phone, and I dropped the phone between my legs, and I was like, fuck, and it went under the seat, so I had to do this thing where you're in there,
02:47:37.000and I moved over, and it was late at night, so there was no one on the road, but I moved over, and did that thing.
02:47:44.000And then picked up the phone, and the next thing you know, the lights were behind me.
02:47:48.000And so I got pulled over and I had to do all the drunk tests.
02:49:46.000So as we're walking to the bus, I'm still a little buzzed and I'm feeling loose and I go, hey man, just out of curiosity, like what would have happened if we had brought drugs into Canada?
02:49:57.000And he goes, you mean hypothetically like say someone had a glass one-hitter in their bathroom, shattered it, tried to throw it in the toilet and didn't flush it?
02:50:04.000And immediately everyone looks at me and I'm like, yeah, like that.
02:50:07.000And he'd go, I'd say it's an honor meeting the machine.
02:53:27.000Be a totally different human with a totally different background that wasn't in the KGB, that isn't a dictator, that doesn't control information and control what news gets distributed to your people, that doesn't have a lockdown on the internet and is in complete control of all the oligarchs in your country to the point where they're so embedded with you that when you go to war with Ukraine,
02:53:53.000Because they confiscate them, because they shouldn't have the money that they have, because the only way they can have the money they have is if they're in cahoots with you, and you're obviously evil.
02:54:01.000You're never going to get an invite talking this way!
02:54:36.000I mean, if you're the President of the United States like Trump, but you're trying to make foreign relationships better, you're supposed to do that.
02:55:47.000When I had Yeonmi Park on, and she explained how she got out of North Korea when she was 13, how she escaped and went to China, it's one of those stories you're like, holy shit!
02:55:58.000She's talking about how people are starving in North Korea.
02:56:01.000Those are the kind of people that don't want to hear nothing about all this Marxism and woke communist bullshit.
02:56:07.000They don't want to hear nothing about that, because they know this is where this goes.
02:56:10.000What they said to all those people there, they said, we can all have food.
02:56:14.000If everyone just gives up their land, all these people that own land, they're the problem.
02:56:19.000We give up the land, then we'll all have the land.
02:56:21.000And the moment they did that, the moment people agreed to that, Everybody's starving.
02:56:26.000Then the government controls the food distribution, and if you try to take more than you share, you get killed.
02:57:02.000I mean, arguably, obviously I know I'm going to get lit up for saying this, but what's the difference between shaking hands with our president?
02:57:09.000The way this country is run, it's not perfect, but the way this country is run is so fucking superior to any system that That is anywhere else in the world because the checks and balances that were put in place by the founding fathers.
02:57:25.000They knew that tyranny is a natural course of progression for human nature.
02:57:30.000It's just what people do when they get in control, they become dictators, and they put all these checks and balances in the House and the Senate, and they did it all, the Electoral College, to make sure that this term limits.
02:57:43.000Make sure you can't do what Putin's doing.
02:57:45.000Make sure you can't do what Kim Jong-un's doing.
02:57:47.000Because when you get into a position like that, just look at what they try to do.
02:57:50.000Look at what people try to do to stop criticism on Twitter.
02:57:54.000They fucking send the FBI to Twitter to try to remove people from Twitter because they're saying things that interferes with the way they govern.
02:58:02.000All that shit is natural and the founding fathers of this country were the only people that put together a system to mitigate that and over time these fucking cunts and these corrupt shitheads have done an amazing job of trying to chip away at that or convince people that it should be chipped away at and Convince people that freedom is not important.
02:58:24.000What's important is equity and inclusiveness and diversity in it.
02:58:27.000No, no, no, no, no, no That is a fucking That's a sheep costume that the wolf wears.
02:58:35.000The wolf is control over people and forcing people to bend to your ideological will, whether it's the will of the people on the right or the will of the people on the left.
02:59:20.000It's like they don't want to deal with all the different things that you have to deal with when you're debating something and you want to be proven correct.
02:59:54.000This is the most free version of it in the world.
02:59:55.000We're kind of doing it to ourselves a little bit.
02:59:58.000But we aren't also because you and I are on a fucking podcast right now that millions of people are listening to and we're not being censored at all.
03:00:09.000This ability to broadcast to millions of people without any censorship, without no oversight, there's no one leaning over our shoulder, that's unprecedented.
03:01:48.0004chan doesn't exist if the government's controlling it.
03:01:51.000Reddit doesn't exist if the government's controlling it.
03:01:54.000What our government is doing, though, For sure, whether they admit it or not, they have a bunch of people that are hired to post and say things that go along with their narrative and aggressively argue and try to shame and attack people that go against the narrative.
03:02:10.000Whatever that narrative is, whether it's climate change or COVID lockdowns or the war in Ukraine or whatever the narrative is the government's pushing, for sure, just like they have over in Russia, They have those troll farms where they make fake Facebook pages and attack people.
03:02:36.000No, we created overthrowing governments and creating dialogues.
03:02:40.000Well, I mean, people have been doing that since the beginning of time, but for sure we have been involved in regime change wars for Forever.
03:03:01.000War is a Racket, this guy Smedley Butler, who's a general, who's this like decorated war hero, who realized at the end of his career that the whole thing that he thought he was doing was bullshit.
03:03:14.000And that war was just, pull it up, because it's worth revisiting every year and a half or two years.
03:03:31.000But it's basically, he's basically saying that he realized along the way that what he was doing, where he thought he was like making the world safe and stopping tyrants and being just,
03:03:49.000that he was really making things safe for bankers and for people that were trying to acquire natural resources.
03:04:26.000Only a small inside group knows what it is about.
03:04:30.000It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the very many.
03:04:34.000Out of war, a few people make huge fortunes.
03:04:39.000Butler confesses that during his decades of service in the United States Marine Corps, he goes, I helped...
03:04:45.000I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in.
03:05:00.000I helped in the raping of a half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street.
03:05:29.000See to it that standard oil went its way unmolested.
03:05:33.000So these are all things at the very beginning of the 20th century that he's discussing that most of us aren't even aware of anymore that our government did in order to secure money and to secure national resources, natural resources to make things safe for bankers.
03:05:51.000And it's like, we've been doing it this way forever.
03:06:41.000Like, if you get a criminal fine, like, say if you make pants, and the pants, they fucking fall apart, and they go, oh, you knew these pants were gonna fall apart, we're gonna hit you with a criminal fine.
03:12:29.000That's why the reason why it's so upsetting when someone tries to rip you off is because it's so cliche in Hollywood, in show business, but it's so rare.
03:12:39.000So when someone, like, this guy had done it to someone else, then Stan Hope had warned me about it, and then Dom Irera had warned me about it.
03:15:58.000Yeah, there's a video of Brock Lesnar shooting, I think it's groundhogs, prairie dogs.
03:16:06.000He's shooting, because prairie dogs dig holes, and cows step in them, and they snap their legs, and horses step in them and break their legs.
03:16:14.000And so when they have them on ranches, they kill them.
03:16:16.000And they're shooting them with a.50 caliber.
03:18:19.000Have you ever seen that video where there's a journalist who gets inside of a box in the Arctic and the polar bear is trying to get to him?
03:18:27.000It's a giant plexiglass box that they built just for this, just to show how predatory polar bears are.
03:18:33.000Polar bears are the most predatory of all bears because they're the only bear that doesn't eat any grass, doesn't eat any vegetables, no fruit.
03:20:11.000Well, you did that Travel Channel shit.
03:20:13.000Yeah, I did so much shit that I don't remember, but I swam out of the cage of Great White Sharks, I swam in the cage of Great White Sharks.
03:20:20.000And man, I'll tell you, there's a moment where you go, how do they know this has been tested?
03:21:10.000Dude, we did a race car, a NASCAR track in Thunder Valley, where they took us on a track at maybe like 110 miles an hour, possibly, maybe 90. Who fucking knows?