The Joe Rogan Experience - March 24, 2023


Joe Rogan Experience #1960 - Andrew Schulz


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 51 minutes

Words per Minute

179.91837

Word Count

30,856

Sentence Count

3,221

Misogynist Sentences

59

Hate Speech Sentences

81


Summary

On this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the boys talk about the Mongolian Empire, Genghis Khan, and why we should all be scared of the Mongols. Joe also talks about his first ever archery shot and how he got it, which is pretty cool considering it was at a 40 yard range with an 80lb compound bow. Also, we talk about why the UFC is better than the rest of the world because of the Mongolians and why they should be the centerpiece of the military of the modern world. And of course, Joe talks about how he thinks the UFC sucks compared to the Mongol Empire and why it s better than any other sports team in the world and much, much more! Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! Joe and the boys are back with another episode of the JOKERPODCAST! Subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts, and don t forget to leave us a rating and review! Cheers, and Happy Thanksgiving! -The Joe Rogans -Jon Sorrentino and Rogan Podcast! Jon & Jake Jon and Jake, The JOBODGS Podcast by Night, by Day, All Day, by Night! -Jon & Jake, all day, by Nacho Jake, the podcast by Night - by Night. , all day. - The JOGAN Experience, by DAY, by night. Jon Rogan, by day, The JOE ROGAN PODCAST by DAY! , by night, by EVENING, by DAILY, by NOVOR DAY, ALL DAYS, by MONDAY, by SONGS, by THURSDAY, ALL WEEKEND, by SEASON, by SUNDAY, by FRIDAY, EVERY SUNDAY DAY, EVERY MOST MOST DAY, BYEST WEEKDAY, BY SUNDAY EVENLY, EVERY FASTEST, BY DAY, AVAILABLE, BY MOST SUNDAY AFTERNOVAAAAYYYYYAAAAYYY? , BYEST DAY, BABY CHECK IT'S NOT YA DAY, YA'LLY, BYYYY, DAYYYY?!? -THAT'S YA CHOO CHOOSY, BAAAAAAY, YEAH, YAAAAY, GAY DAY, AND GAYDDDDAAAAAAAAY!


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!
00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
00:00:12.000 What's happening, big dog?
00:00:14.000 What's up, my man?
00:00:15.000 Hey, first archery shot ever.
00:00:18.000 Oh, that was cool.
00:00:19.000 40 yards with an 80-pound compound bow.
00:00:22.000 You got it right in the fucking vitals.
00:00:26.000 It was cool.
00:00:26.000 That's an amazing thing.
00:00:27.000 You should probably quit now.
00:00:29.000 Yeah.
00:00:29.000 I mean, first of all, the bow's not even set up for you.
00:00:33.000 The way the bow is set up is for me, I have shorter arms than you.
00:00:36.000 You would have a longer draw length, so you have to kind of like move your body a little and you sent it that peep sight.
00:00:43.000 Bro, that's a long shot for a first shot ever in a bow, 40 yards in an indoor range.
00:00:49.000 And you got it right in the vitals.
00:00:51.000 Yeah.
00:00:52.000 Now what were you thinking when I struggled to pull it back?
00:00:55.000 Normal.
00:00:56.000 It's weird.
00:00:57.000 Oh, that is a common thing that happened.
00:00:59.000 Yeah.
00:00:59.000 Oh, you didn't have any excuses, at least.
00:01:00.000 Brian Callen had a fucking...
00:01:02.000 Wait, what did he say?
00:01:03.000 I'm reading a scroll of excuses.
00:01:05.000 My labrum...
00:01:06.000 Probably technique.
00:01:08.000 No, it's a strength thing.
00:01:10.000 I mean, it is technique, but it's just 80 pounds is 80 pounds.
00:01:14.000 It's a lot of weight.
00:01:14.000 I have a new respect for bow and arrow folks.
00:01:19.000 It's hard.
00:01:20.000 Yeah.
00:01:20.000 It's very hard, but it's really satisfying.
00:01:22.000 Like, it puts in perspective, like, the people who can do it on horseback, you know, you see it in the movies and shit like that, and I don't know why I didn't think it was that hard, but...
00:01:30.000 Yeah, that's a next-level thing.
00:01:31.000 The horseback thing is crazy.
00:01:32.000 The Mongols would time their shot when the horse was in the air.
00:01:36.000 Yeah.
00:01:36.000 So when the horse was in the air, then they would release it.
00:01:38.000 Oh, mid-gallop.
00:01:39.000 Yes.
00:01:39.000 So there would be less disturbance, less jolt on their body.
00:01:42.000 So was that...
00:01:44.000 We always talk about, like, Genghis Khan and how he was able to take over the world.
00:01:48.000 Was the competitive advantage horseback weaponry?
00:01:53.000 They had a lot of things going for them.
00:01:56.000 They had strategy, first of all.
00:01:57.000 They had devious...
00:02:00.000 Wild strategies like they would set people up like they would they would send a small party out and those people would go after a small party and chase them down They would lead them into like a canyon filled with Mongols and just slaughter everybody and block the exit and yeah,
00:02:15.000 they would hold a siege They would attack a city and they would bring so much food and so much so many supplies They just camp outside outside the city to starve until everybody starved out And then they would start killing people and lighting them on fire and putting them on catapults and launching them over the walls and light their own houses on fire with the dead bodies of people they killed.
00:02:43.000 That's motivational.
00:02:44.000 Bro.
00:02:45.000 Those motherfuckers killed 10% of the population.
00:02:48.000 That's the crazy thing.
00:02:50.000 I don't know.
00:02:50.000 I always wonder about these times.
00:02:52.000 Like, what was, like, the Roman Empire's advantage?
00:02:54.000 You know, some people chalk it up to, like, Rhodes.
00:02:56.000 Like, why was Genghis Khan so effective?
00:02:58.000 But at a certain point in time, it has to be technology, right?
00:03:01.000 There was a lot, man.
00:03:02.000 A lot going on.
00:03:03.000 It was the knowledge of the recurve bow.
00:03:05.000 They were really good at recurve bows.
00:03:07.000 They had catapults.
00:03:11.000 Genghis Khan just had this unquenchable desire to take over the world.
00:03:16.000 It's really crazy that no one's scared of the Mongols now.
00:03:21.000 You know?
00:03:22.000 But then when one of those dudes fights in the UFC, you're like, Jesus.
00:03:26.000 Wait, who's Mongolian in the UFC? Let's see.
00:03:28.000 Who do we have?
00:03:28.000 The Mongolian murderer.
00:03:30.000 That's one dude.
00:03:32.000 But there's people from that Caucasus region of the world.
00:03:36.000 Like, there's a lot of people from Kazakhstan and Dagestan.
00:03:39.000 Ah, so all the stands are remnants of the Mongolian Empire.
00:03:42.000 Yeah, those guys that look a little Asian.
00:03:43.000 Yeah.
00:03:44.000 Rachmaninoff.
00:03:45.000 Yeah, Shavkat Rachmaninoff.
00:03:47.000 Shavkat Rachmaninoff, yeah.
00:03:48.000 Woo!
00:03:49.000 That motherfucker's so good.
00:03:51.000 But they're just so tough over there.
00:03:55.000 It's just crazy that they took over the whole world at one point in time.
00:03:59.000 And then it all went away.
00:04:01.000 That's a lesson for America to learn.
00:04:03.000 Because Americans have this idea that we are the centerpiece of the military of the world.
00:04:09.000 This is it.
00:04:10.000 This is the baddest fucking army that's ever existed, bro.
00:04:13.000 No one's gonna stop us.
00:04:15.000 But the reality is, like, every single civilization that has been in control has gone under.
00:04:22.000 They all go under.
00:04:23.000 Now, did those civilizations have nukes?
00:04:26.000 No.
00:04:27.000 No.
00:04:28.000 That's the problem.
00:04:29.000 That's the tricky thing.
00:04:31.000 Yeah.
00:04:31.000 The problem is if we go out, we go out ugly.
00:04:34.000 Everybody goes out.
00:04:41.000 And slowly pollute our country with, like, bombing chemical factories and do it slow over a long period of time.
00:04:49.000 Like, if you were a real conspiracy theorist, like one of them Reddit tinfoil hat...
00:04:55.000 Let's go deep!
00:04:55.000 Let's go deep, my boy!
00:04:57.000 You would think that China would not do a big thing, but a constant series of small things that people get accustomed to.
00:05:05.000 Yeah.
00:05:06.000 You know, cyber warfare, they would start hacking into Google servers, Amazon servers, crash everything, financial disruption, crash power grids, do it slow.
00:05:20.000 Do it over decades, you've got plenty of time.
00:05:22.000 As long as you don't nuke United States first, they're not gonna nuke you.
00:05:26.000 We already did that once.
00:05:27.000 We're not gonna do that.
00:05:29.000 If anybody is gonna be a first bomber, it's not gonna be us.
00:05:33.000 It's not going to be us.
00:05:34.000 Yeah.
00:05:35.000 There's no way.
00:05:36.000 Yeah.
00:05:36.000 That's a problem.
00:05:38.000 That's a strategic problem.
00:05:39.000 Yeah.
00:05:40.000 Because we're all worried about Putin.
00:05:41.000 We're like, what if Putin gets back to the corner?
00:05:43.000 What if Ukraine starts winning?
00:05:44.000 What if this?
00:05:45.000 What if that?
00:05:46.000 What if Putin really does have cancer?
00:05:48.000 What if he decides to go out with a bang?
00:05:50.000 Like, we're worried about that.
00:05:51.000 No one's worried.
00:05:52.000 What if Biden just nukes China?
00:05:54.000 What if Biden's like, what's his TikTok?
00:05:57.000 You don't want to talk?
00:05:57.000 You don't want to talk?
00:05:58.000 You don't want to tell us about the code?
00:06:00.000 How about this?
00:06:01.000 Boom!
00:06:02.000 Never.
00:06:03.000 Never.
00:06:05.000 We would never think that the Biden administration would go and nuke someone.
00:06:10.000 Never.
00:06:11.000 And they know that.
00:06:12.000 And because they know that, they're comfortable.
00:06:14.000 Yeah.
00:06:14.000 So you could do sneaky things.
00:06:15.000 Yeah.
00:06:16.000 I would do sneaky things.
00:06:17.000 If I was China, or if I was Russia, or if I was Iran, if I was some country that didn't like us, I would do sneaky things.
00:06:24.000 So is that the concern with TikTok?
00:06:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:26.000 There was some fascinating conversations today.
00:06:29.000 Because it looks like they're going to ban it.
00:06:32.000 For sure, they're not telling the truth.
00:06:34.000 Like, the way this CEO was talking to the senator today is like, oh my god.
00:06:39.000 It's like, they just want to say whatever they have to say to get out of there.
00:06:43.000 Like, he doesn't answer the questions, he dances around, and the senator keeps trying to say, that's a yes or no question.
00:06:49.000 That's a yes or no question.
00:06:51.000 Like, these dudes have been sending data to China from day one.
00:06:55.000 Yeah.
00:06:55.000 And they're doing something with that data.
00:06:57.000 They're accumulating.
00:06:57.000 They're finding out how coordinated our kids are.
00:07:00.000 Yeah.
00:07:00.000 They got facial recognition on all of them.
00:07:02.000 That's what the dances are about.
00:07:03.000 They're just trying to find out how coordinated.
00:07:05.000 Imagine.
00:07:06.000 Bro.
00:07:07.000 Wow, every TikTok trend is just a little information about our youth.
00:07:13.000 Also, how easily led they are.
00:07:16.000 You could get them to that app.
00:07:18.000 Well, cloud is the currency.
00:07:19.000 It's cloud, but they have so many things going for them.
00:07:22.000 First of all, it's very easy to get a big following there.
00:07:25.000 It's very easy to get shared.
00:07:26.000 Instantaneous, it feels.
00:07:27.000 You can blow up, so that gets people excited about it and they use it.
00:07:30.000 And It's genuinely a really good portal for creativity.
00:07:34.000 Like some people do some interesting shit on there.
00:07:37.000 It's amazing.
00:07:38.000 I almost think it's our fault it's successful because we didn't think of it.
00:07:43.000 Yeah.
00:07:43.000 Like, we need some responsibility here.
00:07:45.000 Like, why is another country coming up with the best form of social media?
00:07:49.000 That's on us.
00:07:50.000 We dominated social.
00:07:52.000 That's Adam Curry's theory.
00:07:53.000 What did he say?
00:07:54.000 Adam Curry doesn't believe it's any different in the way it gathers data than what the American social media platforms.
00:07:58.000 It's just a better distributor of that data.
00:08:00.000 He just thinks that, no, this is just China kicking our ass, and we want to stop them from doing that.
00:08:05.000 Yeah.
00:08:05.000 That we're not doing things that are that much different than what they're doing.
00:08:08.000 I don't know if that's true.
00:08:09.000 Well, I don't know.
00:08:09.000 It's just Adam is very smart, though.
00:08:11.000 Yeah, no, I think that there's something to that.
00:08:13.000 It's like, you want to win the culture war, and we've done that so well, right?
00:08:16.000 Like, we had all these movies, these TV shows that, like, shared our culture around the world, and that culture was romantic.
00:08:21.000 It's sexy.
00:08:22.000 You go watch fucking Top Gun, you go watch Maverick, and you're just like, oh my god, how amazing is it to be American?
00:08:29.000 How about when Rocky wins with American shorts on?
00:08:32.000 Got American flag shorts on?
00:08:33.000 The best.
00:08:35.000 Away game, too.
00:08:36.000 You know what I mean?
00:08:37.000 Like, over there running in the snow.
00:08:41.000 If we can change, you can change!
00:08:45.000 We all change!
00:08:46.000 30 years later, same fucking problem.
00:08:48.000 Same fucking problem!
00:08:49.000 Bro, I remember when that problem went away.
00:08:51.000 I remember when the wall came down, we were so relaxed.
00:08:55.000 It was amazing.
00:08:56.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:08:57.000 Take me back to this.
00:08:58.000 So there's a time...
00:08:59.000 See, when I was in high school, okay, in the 1980s.
00:09:01.000 I was a freshman in 1981. And back then, we were terrified of war with Russia.
00:09:07.000 It was a terrifying fear of a nuclear war with the Soviet Union.
00:09:12.000 And break this down to me.
00:09:13.000 So it's like, you're watching the news and they keep...
00:09:16.000 Is there like fear-mongering?
00:09:17.000 Do you believe it?
00:09:18.000 Does it feel less propagandist?
00:09:20.000 100% fear-mongering.
00:09:20.000 100% there was fear-mongering.
00:09:24.000 Look, it's always been, if it bleeds, it leads in the news.
00:09:30.000 You know, we talk about how bad the news is today, but the reality is, like, 5 o'clock news, when you get home from work, it was always the worst shit that happened.
00:09:38.000 Double homicide in Brooklyn.
00:09:40.000 It's always the worst shit of the day.
00:09:42.000 And also out of perspective, because it's the worst shit out of millions and millions of people, right?
00:09:47.000 But the big one was always Russia.
00:09:49.000 And you would see the Soviet Union, and you would see their leaders, and you would see their army, and it was terrifying.
00:09:57.000 They were the last great communist empire before China, right?
00:10:01.000 Before China really blew up militarily.
00:10:03.000 Back then, we weren't worried about China.
00:10:05.000 Everybody was worried about the Soviet Union.
00:10:07.000 And you felt fear?
00:10:08.000 A hundred percent.
00:10:09.000 I talked to my wife, and she's younger than me, and she felt the same thing.
00:10:12.000 And some of my other friends, I asked them, they grew up in different parts of the country, and they were like, oh, yeah, everyone was scared.
00:10:17.000 Scared of the fucking Russians, man.
00:10:20.000 Like, there was all those movies like Red Dawn, where the Russians invade, we kicked their fucking ass, send them back home!
00:10:25.000 You know, that was what everybody was afraid of.
00:10:28.000 And then the wall fell.
00:10:30.000 And so when the wall fell and the Soviet Union collapsed, we have to realize that was a monumental change in the world.
00:10:38.000 People relaxed.
00:10:40.000 We relaxed.
00:10:41.000 I was like, thank God.
00:10:43.000 There's no more war anymore.
00:10:45.000 So what year is this?
00:10:46.000 What year was the collapse of the wall?
00:10:49.000 What year did they blow?
00:10:51.000 I want to say...
00:10:52.000 I want to say 89?
00:10:55.000 90?
00:10:56.000 So then the 90s comes on and then...
00:10:58.000 What year was it, Jamie?
00:11:00.000 89. Okay, so 90s.
00:11:02.000 So the 90s come along and no one's worried about war anymore.
00:11:05.000 Is there a cultural apathy?
00:11:10.000 Well, there's a lot of bad things were made in the 90s.
00:11:14.000 Some of the worst American cars that have ever existed were made during the 90s.
00:11:18.000 We got real sloppy in the 90s.
00:11:20.000 I look at, like, one of the things I look about with America, like how in tune America is, what's their cars like?
00:11:26.000 What's their cars like?
00:11:27.000 So Space Race produces some of the most beautiful cars.
00:11:30.000 Space Race and psychedelic drugs.
00:11:33.000 So space race is what?
00:11:34.000 There's a direct correlation.
00:11:36.000 60s?
00:11:36.000 Yes.
00:11:37.000 So you have all the cars that are coming out.
00:11:38.000 50s too.
00:11:39.000 50s, 60s.
00:11:40.000 63 was when Kennedy says we want to put the first man on the moon.
00:11:43.000 So they're using all that crazy space influence or like spaceship influence on the cars and there's no restrictions, right?
00:11:51.000 Not much.
00:11:51.000 Not much space influence really.
00:11:54.000 I mean some of these big like, what is it, the big Cadillacs and stuff like that, they look like a fucking spaceship, right?
00:11:59.000 They do.
00:11:59.000 Yeah, the old ones.
00:12:00.000 And there was no restrictions, right?
00:12:02.000 Like, you didn't have to go, okay, it has to have this much gas mileage.
00:12:05.000 Right, none of that.
00:12:06.000 No airbags.
00:12:06.000 You could just make whatever the fuck you wanted to make.
00:12:08.000 And then, okay, so that goes away.
00:12:10.000 And then psychedelics are 70s.
00:12:13.000 Well, psychedelics are 60s.
00:12:15.000 Oh, yes.
00:12:15.000 And then in 1970, they passed this sweeping Schedule I psychedelic act that makes all those drugs Schedule I forbidden drugs.
00:12:26.000 All the drugs that are non-toxic, like psilocybin, like things that your body makes, like dimethyltryptamine, all those things become— That's DMT. Yeah, all those things become schedule one.
00:12:38.000 And then automobile design drops off a fucking cliff.
00:12:42.000 I mean, drops off a cliff.
00:12:45.000 It's not totally...
00:12:47.000 I mean, there's a correlation.
00:12:49.000 Maybe not totally the cause because it coincides with the gas crisis.
00:12:53.000 So there's a gas crisis.
00:12:55.000 Now you have to consider gas mileage in a car.
00:12:57.000 Exactly.
00:12:58.000 That's interesting.
00:12:59.000 That's right.
00:12:59.000 So 70s is...
00:13:01.000 What happens?
00:13:02.000 When do we remove the gold standard from the dollar?
00:13:06.000 That's...
00:13:07.000 That's a good question.
00:13:08.000 73 or something like that?
00:13:09.000 This is good tequila, dude.
00:13:10.000 This is yours?
00:13:11.000 Not bad.
00:13:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:12.000 What's it called?
00:13:12.000 Los Sundays.
00:13:13.000 Dude, it's very tasty.
00:13:15.000 It's good, right?
00:13:15.000 The repo's crazy.
00:13:16.000 Yeah, it's very tasty.
00:13:17.000 I was prepared for some fucking antifreeze.
00:13:20.000 Nah, nah, nah.
00:13:20.000 That's good.
00:13:21.000 That's legit.
00:13:22.000 But yeah.
00:13:23.000 Yeah, and then we get...
00:13:23.000 What is it?
00:13:24.000 There's the whole, like, Petrodollar thing that comes on after that, where they have to...
00:13:27.000 I'm not aware of all that stuff.
00:13:28.000 I'm not good at that stuff.
00:13:30.000 I think this is just where we make the deal where it's like oil has to be sold in U.S. dollars and now we have a backing for the dollar when for a while we didn't, right?
00:13:38.000 When we removed that gold standard.
00:13:39.000 Who was it?
00:13:40.000 Nixon that removed the gold standard?
00:13:41.000 71. 71?
00:13:44.000 And now we're in that situation right now where most oil is sold in U.S. dollars and then those countries that decide not to, if we're going to get conspiratorial, those people who have decided maybe they won't sell it in U.S. dollars, they have difficulty staying in power.
00:13:58.000 Yeah.
00:14:01.000 That's always been the game plan, right?
00:14:09.000 Hmm.
00:14:10.000 Yeah.
00:14:11.000 What does that mean then?
00:14:12.000 We should have a real economist to work through this.
00:14:15.000 We'll fuck this up.
00:14:16.000 But also, we could just talk shit.
00:14:18.000 And it doesn't matter, because we're not experts, so we just stay nonsense.
00:14:21.000 Exactly.
00:14:22.000 It's so funny that people get upset by that.
00:14:24.000 Like, listen, this is a conversation that I would have whether or not cameras are on or not.
00:14:27.000 Yeah.
00:14:28.000 Don't take us seriously.
00:14:29.000 Yeah, you gotta be able to deal with that.
00:14:30.000 That's it.
00:14:31.000 Don't take anything we say seriously.
00:14:32.000 Bro, especially us.
00:14:34.000 Yeah.
00:14:34.000 We're literally little professional clowns.
00:14:37.000 Yeah.
00:14:37.000 I was messaging you, I think, about after we had Ben, Ben Van Kirkwick on the pod, and Uncharted X, the guy who was at the Pyramid.
00:14:46.000 Yes, yes, he's great.
00:14:47.000 He's great, and everybody was like, dude, it's so awesome.
00:14:52.000 Shane Gillis' dad showed up to the pod.
00:14:54.000 And I was like, what?
00:14:55.000 And I guess they think that he looks like Shane, an older version of Shane.
00:14:59.000 But what I loved about the pyramid conspiracy is that the stakes are so low, right?
00:15:04.000 There's no pedophilia.
00:15:05.000 Nobody's dying.
00:15:06.000 It's like, did it happen?
00:15:08.000 Did it not happen?
00:15:08.000 It's just, how old is this civilization?
00:15:11.000 That's it.
00:15:11.000 Is it 4,000?
00:15:11.000 Is it 10,000?
00:15:12.000 But do you know that even with that, because Graham Hancock has that whole series.
00:15:16.000 They call you racist.
00:15:17.000 He's calling him racist.
00:15:18.000 I'm not saying that black people didn't still do it.
00:15:20.000 It's just older black people.
00:15:21.000 100% was black people.
00:15:23.000 It was 100% people in Africa.
00:15:25.000 The pyramids were 100% built by people who lived in Africa.
00:15:29.000 That's it.
00:15:31.000 All Graham Hancock is saying is that it's very likely that the entire world experienced a cataclysmic disaster around 11,820 years.
00:15:42.000 12,000 years ago, somewhere in that range, and it knocked us back into the Stone Age.
00:15:46.000 But those people who were around before that were probably more sophisticated than we are.
00:15:52.000 We just have a hard time imagining that because we don't have any evidence of it.
00:15:56.000 And we just don't think that the execution matches up with the technology.
00:16:00.000 If we found some tech that would make sense, I think that we could go, okay, maybe this did happen 4,000 years ago or whatever it is.
00:16:07.000 So far, the idea of a chisel and a stone carving all these blocks and then people just dragging them in the sand, I think it seems a little bit unreasonable.
00:16:15.000 There's some real problems with that.
00:16:17.000 There's some real problems with the actual physical limitations of the size of these obelisks where they're cutting them in the mountains and they have to move them hundreds of miles.
00:16:27.000 How are you getting them out of the mountains?
00:16:29.000 What are you doing?
00:16:30.000 This is like 2,000 tons.
00:16:32.000 What the fuck are you saying?
00:16:34.000 You said it, I think I was listening to the pod with you guys, and you were like, if I was Elon Musk, I'd just build one.
00:16:42.000 And I get that to a certain extent.
00:16:44.000 I don't know if you could.
00:16:46.000 I really don't know if you could.
00:16:48.000 I think we could.
00:16:48.000 Do you know if you cut and place 10 stones a day, it would take you 664 years to make the pyramid?
00:16:57.000 That might be wrong.
00:16:58.000 But there's 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid.
00:17:04.000 You need to go, man.
00:17:05.000 I know, I do.
00:17:06.000 You need to go.
00:17:07.000 It was the craziest thing that I've seen that humans have made.
00:17:10.000 Like, awe-inspiring.
00:17:12.000 Talking to Ben, talking to Randall Carlson, talking to Graham Hancock, I more and more think that we just have to use our imagination.
00:17:23.000 Because we're thinking of technology only as technology that we've implemented.
00:17:29.000 Like these microphones and cell phones and shit.
00:17:32.000 But it's possible there was a completely different branch of technology.
00:17:37.000 And they had figured out something that allowed them to manipulate enormous stones.
00:17:41.000 We just haven't figured it out yet.
00:17:42.000 I mean, just think about it like this.
00:17:43.000 Like, imagine there was this cataclysm, right?
00:17:47.000 Within a hundred years, this idea of Wi-Fi is non-existent to people.
00:17:52.000 It's a story that you tell.
00:17:53.000 So wait, what do you mean?
00:17:54.000 The internet?
00:17:55.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:17:56.000 It's just absurd.
00:17:56.000 It doesn't exist.
00:17:57.000 You can't hold on to it.
00:17:58.000 So right now we're looking for all these tools that you can hold on to and can build things with.
00:18:02.000 And that makes sense to us.
00:18:03.000 But we can't conceive of this technology that exists just in the air.
00:18:07.000 How would you describe Wi-Fi?
00:18:09.000 To some dude that you met in an Amazonian tribe.
00:18:12.000 You wouldn't.
00:18:14.000 You couldn't!
00:18:15.000 You couldn't.
00:18:16.000 It's the same way that like, do you fuck with the chat GPT thing at all?
00:18:19.000 Yeah.
00:18:20.000 Okay, I don't even know what to ask it because I'm not familiar enough with what AI can do.
00:18:28.000 So I would still ask it like Google questions because that's what I'm fluent in.
00:18:33.000 Yeah.
00:18:33.000 Does that make sense?
00:18:34.000 I think you can talk to chat GPT4 as if it's a god.
00:18:40.000 So I would just...
00:18:41.000 I got some questions.
00:18:44.000 Right?
00:18:45.000 On my clothes?
00:18:45.000 Sure.
00:18:46.000 Maybe chat GBT5? Can we chat GBT now?
00:18:49.000 If you tell it it's a god, it'll definitely start talking to you.
00:18:51.000 Wait, can we talk to it now?
00:18:53.000 Yeah, you can talk to it.
00:18:54.000 Hey, you know who invented Wi-Fi?
00:18:56.000 Who?
00:18:56.000 Hedy Lamarr.
00:18:58.000 Who was that?
00:18:58.000 The actress.
00:18:59.000 That's true, right?
00:19:00.000 It's not Bluetooth, right?
00:19:01.000 It was Wi-Fi she invented.
00:19:03.000 Is that correct?
00:19:04.000 Hedy Lamarr, who was this gorgeous actress...
00:19:09.000 She was a brilliant woman who had quite a few inventions.
00:19:13.000 Technically both.
00:19:13.000 Yeah.
00:19:14.000 Stunning.
00:19:15.000 Although she died in 2000, Lamar was inducted into the National Inventors Hall of Fame for the development of her frequency-hopping technology in 2014. She did it way before 2014, though.
00:19:26.000 Such achievement has led Lamar to be dubbed the mother of Wi-Fi and other wireless communications like GPS and Bluetooth.
00:19:33.000 And why did she invent this?
00:19:34.000 For playback or something like that?
00:19:36.000 No, I think she was a scientist before she was an actress.
00:19:39.000 She was just hot and no one gave a fuck.
00:19:42.000 I mean, she is stunning.
00:19:44.000 She was so hot, yeah.
00:19:45.000 She was so hot.
00:19:46.000 Is that a function of art?
00:19:48.000 Do you know Lea Lamar, the stand-up?
00:19:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:19:50.000 That's her relative?
00:19:52.000 Relative, yes.
00:19:53.000 Wow.
00:19:53.000 Because I had this bit about Hedy Lamar in my act.
00:19:56.000 And Lea had to talk to you about it?
00:19:57.000 And Lea came up to me and she goes, I think it's either her grandmother or her great-aunt or something like that.
00:20:03.000 It's one of those.
00:20:04.000 But yeah, that's why.
00:20:06.000 And Lea's beautiful too.
00:20:08.000 But Hedy Lamar was a smoke show.
00:20:10.000 Yeah.
00:20:11.000 Back when they were dragging women around by their hair back then.
00:20:14.000 Really?
00:20:15.000 Dark ages.
00:20:16.000 Yeah, that's like slapping women in the movies was standard.
00:20:19.000 Yeah, there was early Bond films.
00:20:21.000 Oh, God!
00:20:22.000 Were wild, man.
00:20:24.000 You ever see Steve McQueen smack the shit out of...
00:20:27.000 Who was it?
00:20:28.000 Ali...
00:20:28.000 Who was the woman he did that movie with?
00:20:31.000 Ali Sheedy?
00:20:32.000 Is that who it was?
00:20:33.000 I forget who it was, the actress, but there's a scene where he's beating her fucking ass.
00:20:39.000 It's horrible.
00:20:39.000 Because he's actually hitting her.
00:20:41.000 And you could tell, like, she probably didn't know it was coming, and she's got to be in the moment.
00:20:46.000 Yeah.
00:20:47.000 Ally McGraw.
00:20:48.000 Ally McGraw?
00:20:49.000 Yeah.
00:20:50.000 It's horrible to watch, dude.
00:20:52.000 But this was, like, how men behaved.
00:20:55.000 Oh, this is the woman.
00:20:57.000 This is the actress.
00:20:58.000 Did you watch the, what is that show about the making of The Godfather?
00:21:02.000 No, I didn't see that.
00:21:04.000 I know what you're talking about, but I didn't see it.
00:21:05.000 It was brilliant.
00:21:06.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:07.000 Why is the perspective all fucked up?
00:21:08.000 I'm not sure.
00:21:10.000 The perspective, everyone's all narrow.
00:21:12.000 Everyone has narrow heads and shit.
00:21:14.000 It's too bad.
00:21:15.000 She was a beautiful woman.
00:21:17.000 Give me some volume.
00:21:18.000 Oh, you don't have headphones on.
00:21:19.000 Oh, okay.
00:21:21.000 It's okay.
00:21:21.000 You don't have to give me...
00:21:22.000 It's actually playing.
00:21:22.000 Let's back my bitch up.
00:21:23.000 This is horrible, man.
00:21:24.000 Like, he's actually hitting her.
00:21:26.000 Watch this.
00:21:26.000 He's actually hitting her.
00:21:27.000 And he's threatening to punch her in the face.
00:21:29.000 Yeah.
00:21:30.000 And she starts crying.
00:21:31.000 And he hits her again.
00:21:33.000 This was normal back then.
00:21:35.000 Yeah, I'm wondering, like, how common when you were a kid was it to see, like, a man hit a woman?
00:21:41.000 I think it was normal.
00:21:43.000 I think for all of human history it was normal until people started watching it.
00:21:47.000 And going, what the fuck?
00:21:49.000 Until media came along and you could see, I think people hit their kids, I think people hit their wives, I think people hit each other.
00:21:56.000 What was the transition, though?
00:21:58.000 Media.
00:21:58.000 Because people got to see it.
00:22:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:01.000 And you just got to see it.
00:22:02.000 You didn't see what the kid did to get hit.
00:22:04.000 Right.
00:22:05.000 You just see the kid getting hit.
00:22:06.000 You're like, how could you?
00:22:07.000 Yeah.
00:22:07.000 You don't have to hit kids.
00:22:09.000 You don't have to hit kids.
00:22:10.000 You would never discipline.
00:22:12.000 Never.
00:22:13.000 You don't have to do that.
00:22:14.000 They want you to love them.
00:22:17.000 They make mistakes.
00:22:18.000 You've got to communicate with them.
00:22:20.000 I have a question about that.
00:22:21.000 What about when they are...
00:22:24.000 How do you communicate with a child before he understands verbal commands?
00:22:29.000 And how do you communicate right from wrong?
00:22:32.000 Well, I mean, before they understand verbal commands, you're talking about babies, right?
00:22:36.000 They can't even walk yet.
00:22:39.000 My daughter started talking when she was nine months old.
00:22:41.000 Is that early?
00:22:42.000 Yeah.
00:22:43.000 She was walking then, too.
00:22:44.000 She was walking and talking very early.
00:22:47.000 One of my daughters.
00:22:49.000 But the other one was like a year.
00:22:51.000 But what I'm saying is, when their verbal commands are just learning things, They're babies.
00:22:58.000 They can't do anything.
00:23:00.000 They can't even run away from you.
00:23:01.000 They're little tiny babies.
00:23:02.000 So at that age, you're not even teaching right from wrong.
00:23:05.000 You are.
00:23:06.000 You are, but you're talking to them.
00:23:08.000 You talk to them with sweetness, but I always try to talk to my children like they are an adult that I respect.
00:23:16.000 You're very sweet with the youth.
00:23:19.000 I think it's important.
00:23:21.000 But it's a side of you that I don't know a lot of people see.
00:23:24.000 Like you had your niece at the club the other night, and you were so sweet with her.
00:23:28.000 And it was a cool side to see.
00:23:30.000 The club is just fantastic.
00:23:32.000 The club is wild, right?
00:23:32.000 It was so cool.
00:23:33.000 It's a dream, dude.
00:23:35.000 I know.
00:23:35.000 It's a dream that I didn't even have.
00:23:36.000 I didn't even have that dream.
00:23:37.000 I didn't want to own a club.
00:23:38.000 Yeah, no comic goes into it going, I want to own a club.
00:23:41.000 Yeah.
00:23:42.000 And then you do it.
00:23:44.000 But it was an interesting thing.
00:23:45.000 I had this weird sensation I said yesterday about this.
00:23:48.000 I'm proud of you.
00:23:50.000 But I don't mean that in a patronizing way.
00:23:54.000 I'm genuinely proud of you.
00:23:55.000 But there's a specific thing, and I was thinking about this last night when I went back about the club.
00:24:01.000 And you kept talking about this way of funneling and nurturing talent.
00:24:08.000 You're like, yeah, these are the comics that are going to come up, and we're going to invest in these local Texas comics, and then they're going to go do these shows around the world, or around the country, and we're going to send, what is it, this is the mothership, the mothership presents, and it's in all these comedy clubs around.
00:24:23.000 And I thought of the club and I did both of the rooms and the rooms do separate things for committed growth.
00:24:32.000 That is really important.
00:24:34.000 Yeah.
00:24:35.000 That little room teaches intimacy and connection.
00:24:39.000 You can't just go up there and say words.
00:24:41.000 You have to connect with them.
00:24:43.000 Sometimes in big rooms you can just say words.
00:24:45.000 And you don't have to connect because the connection is a little bit off.
00:24:49.000 There's a little bit of a filter so you can perform, which is another thing you have to learn.
00:24:53.000 But the small rooms, which is a lot of the times the New York guys that we get really good at, is like, those laughs die quick.
00:24:59.000 So you better tag up that joke.
00:25:00.000 You better punch it up hard.
00:25:02.000 You better make sure you're cooking.
00:25:04.000 There's like a pace that you can kind of build.
00:25:06.000 Yeah.
00:25:07.000 So the small room, they get to learn how to really fucking put your foot on somebody.
00:25:11.000 You know, another thing that comes out of these rooms on the East Coast is the cold weather.
00:25:17.000 Cold weather makes people impatient.
00:25:19.000 They don't want to hear your bullshit.
00:25:20.000 It's freezing outside.
00:25:21.000 They want to go, go, go, go, go.
00:25:23.000 Jesus fucking Christ.
00:25:24.000 They get inside.
00:25:24.000 They don't want to be, you'd be lallygagging.
00:25:26.000 Mark was saying that same shit.
00:25:27.000 He's like, if you even think about like music and like rap, like rap in New York, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar.
00:25:33.000 In the South, it's melodic and easy and chill and beautiful for both reasons.
00:25:37.000 But I thought about this more and then I did the big room first and I'm not going to be like, I was concerned about the big room.
00:25:44.000 You were concerned.
00:25:45.000 Because you said to me something about the big room.
00:25:47.000 Murdered.
00:25:47.000 You were like, now it was fun, but you said to me, you were like, it's the most honest room.
00:25:51.000 But you're honestly hilarious.
00:25:53.000 Yeah, but- So there's no issues.
00:25:54.000 But that word, honest is usually used when like, let's have an honest conversation.
00:26:00.000 It's never like, you're beautiful.
00:26:04.000 Babe, can I be honest with you?
00:26:06.000 You're beautiful.
00:26:06.000 You're gorgeous.
00:26:07.000 You're amazing.
00:26:08.000 That's never, right?
00:26:10.000 So I was like, that's an interesting adjective to use to describe the room.
00:26:12.000 Yeah.
00:26:13.000 And then I went up and it was awesome.
00:26:15.000 And there was an energy and there was an excitement and the room was great.
00:26:20.000 And it also offered this other side of stand-up that I think a lot of people that come up in the small rooms don't necessarily develop the skill set until they're on the road, which is filling space.
00:26:32.000 And it was like, you can learn to step on them.
00:26:35.000 And that's how I came up in New York.
00:26:36.000 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:26:38.000 And then you go do 3,000 seats.
00:26:40.000 How are you going to fill that?
00:26:42.000 How are you going to absorb that?
00:26:43.000 And I was watching Ron White go up there.
00:26:45.000 And that's a perfect example of just like kinetic energy.
00:26:48.000 You're just watching him fuck.
00:26:50.000 He's like...
00:26:51.000 The Black Panther suit.
00:26:53.000 You know what I mean?
00:26:53.000 Just like absorbing everything, absorbing everything, and then push back.
00:26:56.000 That dude hits and holds punchlines better than anybody alive.
00:27:00.000 Masterful.
00:27:00.000 Masterful.
00:27:01.000 He hits him and he has a big ass fucking smile on his face.
00:27:04.000 You know him and like Tony Woods?
00:27:06.000 You ever watch Tony Woods?
00:27:07.000 Oh, God, yeah.
00:27:07.000 Those guys are masters that just absorb, absorb, absorb.
00:27:11.000 And then like...
00:27:12.000 I don't know.
00:27:12.000 I just feel like if that goal is, which what you said yesterday, is really nurturing this talent and creating comedians that can be great comedians, you've built a space that can do that.
00:27:24.000 Yeah, we built it specifically for that.
00:27:26.000 So instead of making it so that there's big name headliners and you charge a lot of money for every ticket, instead of making money that way...
00:27:34.000 What we decided to do is just don't think about that.
00:27:37.000 Just think about what's the best place to develop comedy, and how do we develop comedy properly?
00:27:43.000 Well, one, you have to have open mics two nights a week.
00:27:46.000 So we have open mics Sunday and Monday.
00:27:48.000 And then we also have experimental shows where, like, crowd suggestions, they write them down on a piece of paper.
00:27:54.000 Oh, the bottom of the barrel.
00:27:55.000 Brian Simpson show.
00:27:56.000 Brian Simpson show.
00:27:57.000 Dude, that was...
00:27:57.000 And then you get bits from it.
00:27:59.000 Like, the beauty of those shows is...
00:28:02.000 I think there's a...
00:28:03.000 Jeremiah has one, the stand-up on the spot, too.
00:28:06.000 And it's like, you get bits from that because you're liberated.
00:28:09.000 Like, the audience knows that you're just getting this idea.
00:28:12.000 Yeah.
00:28:13.000 And that you're rolling with it.
00:28:14.000 They used to have one out here called The Rift that was good, too.
00:28:16.000 It's a wheel.
00:28:17.000 Yeah.
00:28:17.000 You spin a wheel and it would roll.
00:28:19.000 Love.
00:28:19.000 And you'd, like, pick a card.
00:28:21.000 It'll, like, land on a card.
00:28:22.000 Love.
00:28:23.000 That was a good move, too.
00:28:24.000 It's like the whole idea is to be able to...
00:28:26.000 You just...
00:28:27.000 It's like a premise factory.
00:28:29.000 Yeah.
00:28:29.000 It's just, like, pumping out premises.
00:28:31.000 Yeah.
00:28:32.000 And you never fucking know, man.
00:28:34.000 I've had some bits that became like real good bits that I got out of doing those kind of shows.
00:28:39.000 Yeah, I don't want to say the one we were talking about yesterday so you could develop, but that's going to be one.
00:28:46.000 Like, yeah, there's those feelings sometimes where you say a line.
00:28:49.000 You're like, oh yeah, this is going to be something.
00:28:52.000 I really want to tell everybody.
00:28:54.000 They'll hear it eventually.
00:28:55.000 It's a good fucking line.
00:28:57.000 Do you want to give it away?
00:28:58.000 No, no, no, no.
00:28:59.000 I've got to keep that.
00:29:02.000 Man, it was just cool, man.
00:29:05.000 There's an energy.
00:29:07.000 There's an energy.
00:29:09.000 Well, everybody is working towards the right thing.
00:29:12.000 Can you talk about...
00:29:13.000 I think you're going to fuck the game up with the pay, too.
00:29:17.000 Can we talk about that?
00:29:18.000 Just not talk about that.
00:29:19.000 We don't need to talk about that.
00:29:20.000 People don't need to know what people are getting paid.
00:29:23.000 You are a good man and you care about comedians.
00:29:26.000 I'll say that.
00:29:27.000 You don't say it, but I will say it for you.
00:29:30.000 And you're going to fuck some people up with this shit.
00:29:33.000 Well, the whole idea is just to make the best possible place for stand-ups to perform.
00:29:38.000 What Joe's trying to say is the whole idea is for him to make no money.
00:29:42.000 It's for comedians to make all the goddamn money.
00:29:45.000 Well, my idea is to make it so that...
00:29:48.000 Well, my only goal is to the club break even.
00:29:50.000 I'm like, I don't care if it makes money.
00:29:52.000 I make a lot of money.
00:29:53.000 Do you?
00:29:54.000 I'm worried about money.
00:29:55.000 I don't worry about money.
00:29:56.000 I don't worry about money.
00:29:57.000 But I worry about...
00:29:59.000 I shot a bone arrow inside today.
00:30:03.000 But it's like, so that's not what I'm interested in.
00:30:07.000 What I'm interested in is like, what would be the best case scenario?
00:30:10.000 You know, I always talk about when we were kids, if someone said, oh, if you had all this money, what would you do?
00:30:16.000 I'd make the best fucking comedy club, and I'd set it up just for comedians.
00:30:21.000 So I'm like, why don't you just do that?
00:30:22.000 So I just did it.
00:30:23.000 Yeah.
00:30:24.000 That was it.
00:30:25.000 I mean, it's crazy.
00:30:25.000 Yeah, it's awesome.
00:30:26.000 And the staff's awesome.
00:30:27.000 Yeah.
00:30:28.000 Best people from the comedy store.
00:30:30.000 I mean, I already told you I was going to come down when you opened.
00:30:34.000 But I will say, after that week, the energy that I saw from it...
00:30:39.000 I was like, oh, wow, yeah, something's going on over here.
00:30:42.000 Yeah, something's going on.
00:30:43.000 And listen, I was also one of these people who were like, Austin can't sustain a comedy club.
00:30:47.000 There's not enough people.
00:30:48.000 I think I told you that.
00:30:49.000 I was like, I didn't know if it was possible.
00:30:52.000 Now, granted, you have a pretty good batting average with the things you care about.
00:30:57.000 Like, so far, I think you're batting, like, a thousand percent on the things that you want to do.
00:31:02.000 Well, if you really like something and you do it, it's infectious.
00:31:05.000 Yeah.
00:31:06.000 You know, if you really love what you do, it's infectious.
00:31:08.000 But I think with Austin specifically, one of the things I didn't realize is that, like, comedy is the professional sport here.
00:31:15.000 You don't have a basketball team.
00:31:17.000 You don't have a football team.
00:31:18.000 You have a college football team.
00:31:19.000 We've got a dope soccer team.
00:31:20.000 You've got a soccer team, right?
00:31:22.000 But for people who are not gay, there's...
00:31:33.000 You gotta run around kicking balls all day, that's why.
00:31:37.000 But comedy, I feel like, is the professional sport here.
00:31:40.000 And the people who are in that ecosystem have become the professional athletes.
00:31:47.000 Well, for people who are comedy fans, imagine that this happens.
00:31:52.000 Imagine if you're a comedy fan.
00:31:54.000 And the whole world shuts down, but Texas doesn't.
00:31:57.000 And then people are looking at Texas like, how are they partying over there?
00:32:01.000 What the fuck's going on over there?
00:32:02.000 And then some people come and visit.
00:32:03.000 And then maybe some people know people who got sick and got better real quick.
00:32:08.000 And maybe some people start getting skeptical.
00:32:10.000 Maybe some people start saying, well, I haven't been sick in 10 fucking years.
00:32:14.000 Am I the same as some fat guy with smoked cigarettes?
00:32:17.000 Like, what the fuck is going on here?
00:32:18.000 And you get a little upset.
00:32:20.000 And then the government continues to keep you shut down.
00:32:22.000 You go, you know what?
00:32:23.000 I'm going to go look at Texas.
00:32:24.000 And then you fly out here.
00:32:26.000 And you convince 12 world-class comedians to move here, too.
00:32:31.000 Now, if I was a comedy fan and I was living around here, I'd be like, holy shit, what is happening?
00:32:37.000 That's true.
00:32:37.000 Because that's never happened before.
00:32:39.000 All the scenes in our lifetime and in our predecessors' lifetimes were isolated.
00:32:44.000 There was the Boston scene, which is like a scene that guys would get really good at, but the good ones would leave.
00:32:50.000 The Burrs and the Nick DiPaolo's and the Me's and the Dane Cooks and everybody would leave.
00:32:56.000 You know, Louis C.K., Patrice, you know, Stephen Wright, they'd all leave, right?
00:33:02.000 But it was an amazing breeding ground.
00:33:04.000 And then there was the New York scene, which is like A scene, and L.A. scene, which is like A minus.
00:33:11.000 Like, New York was generally better quality of comics.
00:33:15.000 Because there was no other opportunity for anything else.
00:33:17.000 But L.A. had the occasional Dom Herrera would stop in.
00:33:20.000 Of course.
00:33:22.000 But there was only those scenes.
00:33:23.000 San Francisco was always a little shaky.
00:33:25.000 It never really had a rock-solid, big, booming scene.
00:33:30.000 But Austin does now.
00:33:32.000 It does, and it didn't before.
00:33:34.000 It was a small scene before.
00:33:36.000 It was a good scene.
00:33:38.000 Some good comics came out of here.
00:33:40.000 Brendan Walsh came out of here.
00:33:43.000 Hicks, Kinison, they were in Houston and here.
00:33:46.000 But that was a long time ago.
00:33:47.000 That was the 80s.
00:33:48.000 What do you think it is?
00:33:49.000 All my favorite comics are from Boston.
00:33:51.000 And I've been trying to understand why that is.
00:33:54.000 Because we grew up in a place where it's cold and no one gives a fuck and the women are very mean.
00:34:00.000 Dude!
00:34:02.000 No, no, there's something to that.
00:34:03.000 When the women also have a sense of humor, your mediocre sense of humor isn't good enough.
00:34:12.000 You can't get laid with just regular jokes.
00:34:14.000 The girls are already funny.
00:34:15.000 Scotland's like this.
00:34:17.000 They are ball busters.
00:34:20.000 I had to learn comedy as a defense mechanism because my aunts were ruthless.
00:34:26.000 Ruthless!
00:34:27.000 Just roasting my brother, me!
00:34:30.000 And we're just sitting there like, okay, I gotta find a way to handle this shit.
00:34:33.000 But yeah, I've always wondered that with Boston.
00:34:36.000 And I asked a dude once and I was like, why do you think it is?
00:34:38.000 And he said the same thing.
00:34:40.000 But he also said...
00:34:42.000 There's an arrogance to Boston, too.
00:34:45.000 This is where the nation began.
00:34:50.000 They're like the aristocrats.
00:34:52.000 They're like the original aristocrats.
00:34:53.000 A guy who's roofing in Boston still is like, yeah, but I'm from Boston.
00:34:58.000 And I wonder if you need that arrogance...
00:35:01.000 To also say the things that you want to say.
00:35:03.000 Sometimes you could be crippled by working-class environments where you're like, I'm not any better than anybody in this town.
00:35:10.000 I'm not any better than just my friends.
00:35:13.000 I shouldn't go on stage and say that.
00:35:14.000 Like, who do I think I am to go talk in front of these people?
00:35:17.000 You need a little bit of bravado to even go after it.
00:35:22.000 There's so many variables and so many factors, but one of the factors is you need, like, A group of guys that are dedicated to comedy and are really getting after it, and they set the bar for everybody else.
00:35:36.000 That was what was happening in Boston.
00:35:38.000 It was Barry Crimmins.
00:35:39.000 I remember Barry Crimmins became my friend, but I was fucking terrified of that dude.
00:35:44.000 Why?
00:35:44.000 Because he was the standard bearer.
00:35:46.000 He would not let any hacks in.
00:35:48.000 He would be angry at you if you were a hack.
00:35:51.000 He was very well versed politically.
00:35:54.000 You couldn't have some bullshit argument conversation with Barry Crimmins.
00:35:58.000 He would destroy you.
00:36:00.000 He was ruthless.
00:36:02.000 And he was really fucking funny.
00:36:04.000 And he had great political material, great social material.
00:36:08.000 He was a working class guy.
00:36:10.000 And he set the standard.
00:36:12.000 He was the fucking man in Boston.
00:36:14.000 Bro, I was scared of him.
00:36:15.000 I wanted to avoid him.
00:36:16.000 I had to fucking go around.
00:36:18.000 Because I thought I was an open-miker.
00:36:20.000 I sucked.
00:36:20.000 And then when Barry Crimmins became my friend and told me he thought I was really funny, I was like, He was the guy.
00:36:30.000 He was smarter than everybody else.
00:36:32.000 That's Barry.
00:36:33.000 He was smarter than everybody else.
00:36:35.000 And he had the highest standard of comedy.
00:36:37.000 He had the highest standard of comedy and he was a mentor for the rest of the group.
00:36:41.000 So you see guys that pop up like that in comedy, like Keith Robinson is another one.
00:36:46.000 Do you know Keith?
00:36:47.000 Oh yeah, he's ruthless.
00:36:48.000 Ruthless.
00:36:49.000 He is ruthless.
00:36:51.000 He has the highest standard of comedy.
00:36:52.000 He's absolutely hilarious.
00:36:54.000 And he genuinely loves helping and putting people on.
00:36:58.000 100%.
00:36:59.000 And it's rare that you get that concoction.
00:37:01.000 He's beautiful.
00:37:02.000 He is.
00:37:03.000 I don't know if people even know the stories of him driving a fucking cab up from Philly and driving a bunch of guys up from Philly and being like, hey, you need to come up here.
00:37:11.000 You need to be in New York because people are going to find out about you and you're fucking great.
00:37:16.000 That's beautiful.
00:37:18.000 Dude, he's had two strokes.
00:37:20.000 I know.
00:37:21.000 And he's funnier.
00:37:22.000 I heard he's hilarious because he's just like going for it.
00:37:25.000 Because it's like he's dying.
00:37:27.000 I wish I could say some of this shit.
00:37:29.000 I know.
00:37:30.000 It was in the Mitzi's the other day.
00:37:32.000 Everybody was quoting shit.
00:37:33.000 I was holding my sides.
00:37:34.000 It is.
00:37:35.000 Wild.
00:37:37.000 And you can't refute it because he's not just saying, watch it to be wild.
00:37:40.000 He's coming from this place where it's like, I had these strokes.
00:37:43.000 Yeah.
00:37:44.000 Yeah.
00:37:45.000 Dude.
00:37:46.000 And killing.
00:37:47.000 I told him it was funny.
00:37:48.000 I told him, I think they stroked you up.
00:37:51.000 I think it's a benefit in a way.
00:37:55.000 Isn't it funny that it's almost like you need something like that to be truly free?
00:37:58.000 Sometimes.
00:38:01.000 I did a theater in Miami once and Wanda, Wanda Sykes and Keith were on before me.
00:38:08.000 And they both left me notes.
00:38:10.000 I was waving to them on the way in.
00:38:12.000 They were waving on the way, what's up?
00:38:13.000 What's up?
00:38:14.000 They both left me notes.
00:38:15.000 Wanda was the sweetest, nicest note.
00:38:18.000 It was great to see you.
00:38:19.000 I hope you have a great set.
00:38:21.000 You know, much love.
00:38:23.000 Keith Robbins says, I hope you have the worst set of your fucking life.
00:38:26.000 I hope you bomb in front of your stupid fans.
00:38:34.000 Dude, I saved that.
00:38:36.000 I have that napkin.
00:38:37.000 I still have that napkin.
00:38:38.000 It's interesting.
00:38:40.000 You're making me think about comedy scenes and what makes it good.
00:38:43.000 You need a standard bearer.
00:38:45.000 It helps.
00:38:47.000 Multiple standard bearers would be ideal, but you definitely need at least one person.
00:38:55.000 You need someone who people will listen to.
00:38:58.000 That they respect.
00:38:59.000 Yeah.
00:38:59.000 But maybe isn't in the stratosphere.
00:39:02.000 Maybe they're not fucking superstar, megastar, movie star, but just is purely respected because of their standard.
00:39:10.000 That helps.
00:39:11.000 That way there's less jealousy.
00:39:12.000 Yes.
00:39:13.000 Here's the other thing about it is, though, that in Barry's time, comedy was new.
00:39:19.000 We really have to understand our art form in a historical perspective.
00:39:24.000 What do you want?
00:39:24.000 They are here.
00:39:25.000 In a historical perspective, because our art form really didn't even branch off into what you and I do until Lenny Bruce.
00:39:35.000 So, what is Lenny Bruce?
00:39:38.000 His era is like late 50s, early 60s, and into, like, when did Lenny die?
00:39:45.000 When he died, the end of Lenny's career, and by the way, I'm a giant Lenny Bruce fan.
00:39:52.000 I mean, if you go walk into my club, one of the first things you see is a big-ass picture of Lenny Bruce.
00:39:58.000 So he died in 1966. And you have to understand, like, the last couple years of his life were completely entangled in legal battles.
00:40:10.000 So, like, the Lenny Bruce that we're talking about.
00:40:12.000 So, like, late 50s, this guy literally invents an art form.
00:40:18.000 Because it just didn't really exist that way.
00:40:20.000 I mean, Mark Twain did some spoken word stuff where he read some of his books and he was apparently very funny.
00:40:26.000 And people talk about, like, maybe Mark Twain was, like, the first stand-up.
00:40:30.000 The first guy to do stand-up.
00:40:31.000 But then there was guys who just did jokes.
00:40:33.000 And they would tell, like, two Jews walking to a bar.
00:40:36.000 Those kind of jokes.
00:40:37.000 Like the Borscht Belt comedians that were coming up.
00:40:38.000 Yeah, the Catskills.
00:40:39.000 And they would all steal from each other.
00:40:41.000 It was like house jokes.
00:40:42.000 Yeah, house jokes.
00:40:43.000 A lot of house jokes.
00:40:44.000 It was a lot of really dumb shit.
00:40:48.000 But, you know, funny.
00:40:49.000 Good times.
00:40:49.000 You know, whatever.
00:40:50.000 And there was guys who could deliver in an amazing way.
00:40:54.000 Buddy Hackett.
00:40:55.000 There were some of those guys that were killers.
00:40:56.000 They were killers.
00:40:57.000 Very funny guys.
00:40:58.000 But it's just like...
00:40:59.000 What were they working with?
00:41:01.000 They were working with stone tools.
00:41:03.000 And so then along comes Lenny Bruce.
00:41:06.000 And Lenny Bruce starts looking at society.
00:41:10.000 So he's looking at culture and sex and racism and drugs.
00:41:16.000 The race stuff that he has holds up today.
00:41:18.000 There are jokes that he's told.
00:41:20.000 There's a joke because I think he would go on a road with a black dude who is like a jazz musician I think would open for him.
00:41:25.000 And he would talk about the Frenchman.
00:41:27.000 He'd talk about white people trying to ingratiate themselves to his black friend.
00:41:31.000 And, like, the awkwardness that white people have.
00:41:34.000 And, like, the examples he's using, like, maybe today we'd be, like, are kind of hacky, but, like, for the first...
00:41:42.000 For the first person to ever say it to like see white people trying to win over a black person.
00:41:46.000 Yeah.
00:41:47.000 So we have some watermelon at the party.
00:41:49.000 Would you like some watermelon?
00:41:50.000 That's a line that he has in it.
00:41:52.000 And he's just like, but he's observing whites at a time where whites are probably integrating with blacks way more often and then not really knowing how to do it and that awkwardness.
00:42:01.000 And then you got this guy Lenny Bruce who just fucking likes this guy.
00:42:04.000 Not that he's black.
00:42:05.000 He just likes this guy.
00:42:06.000 He enjoys the music.
00:42:07.000 He enjoys who he is.
00:42:08.000 And he's observing other people that just are the only thing they can see him as is a black dude.
00:42:12.000 They can't see past that.
00:42:14.000 So the only way that they can relate is what they know about black people.
00:42:17.000 And now you see that same joke.
00:42:19.000 You see the white people awkward around black people.
00:42:22.000 That starts there.
00:42:23.000 Yeah.
00:42:24.000 Well, Richard took that.
00:42:26.000 Like, Pryor did that after Lenny did that.
00:42:29.000 Pryor was, like, the better version of Lenny.
00:42:32.000 What Pryor was, was, like, what Lenny had started, Pryor was, like...
00:42:38.000 I got this.
00:42:40.000 I'm going to take this to a new place.
00:42:41.000 I appreciate you.
00:42:42.000 I'm going to take this to a new place.
00:42:43.000 I'm going to make it way funnier.
00:42:45.000 And what Pryor did, it was self-deprecating.
00:42:48.000 It was way funnier.
00:42:50.000 It was bleeding.
00:42:51.000 Lenny was very funny, but we have to take it in the context of the times.
00:42:54.000 If we were back in the Lenny Bruce days, if you and I... We're us right now, and we were sitting at our ages right now, and we were just like regular guys, and we're sitting in the back of the room in 1957, and we see Lenny go up and break down culture and society.
00:43:10.000 We'd be like, what?
00:43:11.000 What is going on?
00:43:12.000 We'd be dying laughing.
00:43:14.000 He had this joke about gays.
00:43:16.000 It's such a great joke.
00:43:17.000 This is the 60s?
00:43:20.000 50s, probably.
00:43:21.000 I mean, he died in 63, is that what it was?
00:43:23.000 Yeah.
00:43:23.000 66?
00:43:24.000 What was it?
00:43:24.000 He died in 66. So maybe early 60s.
00:43:28.000 So he has this joke and he goes, Dig, they make homosexuality illegal.
00:43:34.000 So what do they do?
00:43:35.000 They arrest you and they put you in jail with a bunch of men who want to have sex with you.
00:43:43.000 He broke that shit down in like 58. What a punishment.
00:43:48.000 And bro, it would murder.
00:43:49.000 People would be like, oh my god, what is happening?
00:43:53.000 And then people thinking about like, everybody always knows that dude's got fucked in jail.
00:43:58.000 Genius.
00:43:59.000 Yeah, so it's like, back then, saying that though, on stage, when everybody else was like, two Jews walking to a bar.
00:44:06.000 And Lenny was like, breaking things down.
00:44:09.000 Talking about Language and the culture and music and life and the romance.
00:44:17.000 That's interesting you say Twain, that you talk about Twain.
00:44:20.000 And yeah, you do see it with the writers that have like a comedic twist and their ability to kind of like analyze culture but not turning it into stand-up.
00:44:28.000 They could though.
00:44:29.000 It's like a lot of them really could.
00:44:31.000 Yeah.
00:44:32.000 They would have to just learn how to deliver it, which is not the hardest part because the writing is like some of the hardest part.
00:44:37.000 Yeah, but sometimes like I've noticed this with writers that they're so prolific on the page, but when they try to communicate it, it's a different art form almost.
00:44:44.000 It's like the ideas are there.
00:44:45.000 They just don't understand like how to hold attention the same way.
00:44:48.000 Well, you know what it is?
00:44:49.000 They're out of shape.
00:44:51.000 It's like when...
00:44:52.000 I think it's a thing...
00:44:54.000 It's like playing pick-up basketball.
00:44:54.000 The more stand-up I do, the looser I get on stage.
00:44:57.000 The looser I get on stage, the more fun I have on stage, the more I'm inventing new stuff.
00:45:01.000 The more sets you do, the better you get.
00:45:03.000 It's just real numbers.
00:45:05.000 And if you're a guy who's like this awkward fellow who sits in front of a ThinkPad all day, and he's just like writing on Microsoft Word, writing very funny things...
00:45:13.000 Now here's 300 people.
00:45:14.000 This could be ungodly.
00:45:15.000 Occasionally you talk to your wife like, oh, what do you want to do for dinner?
00:45:19.000 You know?
00:45:20.000 You're awkward!
00:45:22.000 You're very brilliant, but you're alone in front of your computer.
00:45:26.000 And then all of a sudden you have to go in front of people and deliver these ideas.
00:45:32.000 You have to learn how the delivery thing, you have to put in the reps.
00:45:37.000 It's a lot of reps.
00:45:38.000 It seems way more simple than it is.
00:45:41.000 It seems...
00:45:43.000 A person's up there, like I was watching you last night.
00:45:45.000 It's like, he's just talking.
00:45:47.000 Like, why is it so funny?
00:45:48.000 Like, that's how people look at it.
00:45:50.000 Like, why is this guy so funny?
00:45:51.000 Like, he's just talking.
00:45:52.000 I talk too.
00:45:53.000 I could do that.
00:45:54.000 I know how to talk.
00:45:56.000 But they don't understand.
00:45:58.000 Like, you're just doing this magic show for them.
00:46:01.000 And they think it's just talking.
00:46:04.000 Isn't that wild that, like, it doesn't start as just talking.
00:46:08.000 And ideally, we can break it down to the point where that's what it feels like.
00:46:12.000 Yeah.
00:46:13.000 Like, it starts in our head, there's like a premise, and there's a line, or there's a statement, or there's like, now I'm thinking of that joke that we won't say that you have, and it's just like, that's just a statement, that's a feeling, you know?
00:46:25.000 I was talking to my boy Mark, and I was just like, let's just riff, but don't tell me a single joke.
00:46:33.000 Tell me what you feel.
00:46:35.000 Tell me what is causing anxiety or anger.
00:46:39.000 Don't try to make me laugh.
00:46:40.000 Just tell me what you feel.
00:46:42.000 And every time, that is the joke.
00:46:45.000 Yeah.
00:46:46.000 The punchlines will come and they'll insert themselves.
00:46:48.000 But that, you're not going, how can I make this situation funny?
00:46:52.000 That is how you fucking feel.
00:46:53.000 And that's why we laughed at it.
00:46:55.000 That's why you'll say it in front of a group of comics and we all laugh.
00:46:59.000 Not because you're trying to misdirect us.
00:47:00.000 Not because you're trying to trick us.
00:47:02.000 That's how you feel.
00:47:04.000 And we're all going, yeah, Joe kind of does feel like that.
00:47:06.000 I might feel like that a little bit.
00:47:10.000 Depends on the lady.
00:47:12.000 Now you're giving it away.
00:47:15.000 But yeah, that's, I don't know, that's to me like, that's the beauty of like a great joke or like a great premise is the one where it's like you almost stumble into it.
00:47:23.000 Yeah.
00:47:24.000 You're like emotionally engaged in it so much you're not even trying.
00:47:28.000 You almost have to think of it like musical notes.
00:47:31.000 Like there's all kinds of musical notes.
00:47:34.000 They're all good.
00:47:35.000 Yeah, but they just serve different purposes and to make a great song You got to put them all together where it flows and that's like part of what we're doing, too Yeah, it's like you're gonna have those jokes.
00:47:47.000 It's like that's how you feel and then you're gonna have some jokes We take people down a left turn like whoops and what about that?
00:47:53.000 Yeah, and they're like Yeah, you know like that's that's a part of it, too It's like there's a lot of stuff going on when you're doing comedy.
00:48:01.000 I don't Yeah, I almost think I memorize, like people go, how do you memorize all the words?
00:48:06.000 And it's like, I don't think I memorize the words, I think I memorize the song.
00:48:10.000 Yeah, how it sounds.
00:48:12.000 Yeah, and like how it feels and the rhythm of it.
00:48:13.000 And I think that's why like sometimes when you like adjust to different room sizes, like your rhythm can get off and you go, oh, I forgot that section.
00:48:23.000 Yeah, because the song is different.
00:48:25.000 Yeah.
00:48:25.000 The song is slower, the song is faster, but I memorized the song in this, what is it, pace or syncopation or whatever it is, this rhythm.
00:48:33.000 Now it's a different rhythm.
00:48:34.000 I need to memorize it in this different rhythm.
00:48:36.000 Yeah.
00:48:37.000 Arena timing.
00:48:39.000 That's a perfect example.
00:48:40.000 That's a real thing.
00:48:40.000 Well, I've never done arenas, but like...
00:48:41.000 Well, I want you to.
00:48:42.000 Yeah, so...
00:48:43.000 We'll do them together.
00:48:44.000 Let's do it.
00:48:45.000 Let's fucking go, Andrew!
00:48:45.000 I mean, what a crazy...
00:48:47.000 Let's do it.
00:48:47.000 That would be crazy.
00:48:48.000 Let's fucking go.
00:48:50.000 Come on, man, we'll have...
00:48:51.000 So what happens?
00:48:52.000 Is it slowed?
00:48:54.000 There's so many people.
00:48:55.000 So do you find yourself...
00:48:56.000 Like some punchlines you have to hang on to for a little bit.
00:48:59.000 But also like facial expressions are bigger, you know, and then there's giant screens everywhere where your face is, where people can see it, and we're all together.
00:49:07.000 And when you're in the round, the round is the shit.
00:49:10.000 Are you actively turning?
00:49:11.000 Yeah!
00:49:12.000 So you're going, okay, I face this way a lot, let me give energy to- No, no, no, no, just go.
00:49:17.000 It just flows.
00:49:18.000 Just go.
00:49:18.000 No thinking like that.
00:49:19.000 But it's just like you're in the round, so it's actually intimate.
00:49:23.000 It's like as intimate as you can get like 16,000 people stuffed in together.
00:49:28.000 Yeah.
00:49:28.000 Because they're all looking at the people that are on the other side and we're all together.
00:49:32.000 It's not like a wall and a stage.
00:49:35.000 Yeah.
00:49:35.000 It's way more intimate.
00:49:36.000 Yeah.
00:49:37.000 It's like double intimate because you're surrounded.
00:49:39.000 It feels good.
00:49:40.000 It's fun.
00:49:41.000 It's my favorite way to do shows.
00:49:43.000 Really?
00:49:44.000 Yes!
00:49:45.000 My favorite way.
00:49:46.000 Yeah.
00:49:46.000 It's my favorite way.
00:49:48.000 I mean, you can't do 16,000 people all the time.
00:49:53.000 It's not good for your comedy.
00:49:54.000 What happens is you're not going to invent new lines.
00:49:58.000 You're going to stick to your script.
00:50:00.000 You're going to stick to the bits.
00:50:02.000 There's too many people.
00:50:03.000 It's too big.
00:50:04.000 It's a show.
00:50:05.000 It's a show.
00:50:06.000 It's a different thing.
00:50:07.000 When you're doing Little Boy, that little tiny room that we have.
00:50:10.000 That's where we play.
00:50:11.000 That's where we find something.
00:50:13.000 These are your friends.
00:50:14.000 We're fucking around.
00:50:15.000 We're having a couple of drinks.
00:50:17.000 We're talking some shit.
00:50:17.000 You can touch everybody in there.
00:50:19.000 They want you to talk some shit.
00:50:21.000 They want you to explore.
00:50:23.000 And the real comedy fans know because of these kind of conversations that that's how we come up with bits.
00:50:29.000 That's where premises emerge.
00:50:31.000 The creativity Is this fucking, you can't grab it, you don't know what it is, you don't know how it comes or how it doesn't come, but you gotta respect it.
00:50:41.000 You know, that's why that, you know, War of Art book is so good.
00:50:46.000 Steven Pressfield's book.
00:50:49.000 Steven Pressfield, he's been on the podcast a couple times.
00:50:52.000 He wrote this book called The War of Art.
00:50:55.000 And it's all about resistance and how resistance keeps you from achieving your best possible self.
00:51:01.000 It's like your ego and your fears and it's all combined and it creates procrastination.
00:51:08.000 And he gives you the tools in this book to try to be a professional.
00:51:13.000 To realize, like, a professional shows up and a professional works.
00:51:17.000 And this is what we do.
00:51:19.000 And if you put yourself on that schedule, the muse will come to you.
00:51:23.000 And those ideas will enter into your mind.
00:51:25.000 So it's just putting in the work every single day.
00:51:27.000 You have to respect it.
00:51:29.000 You can't just think it's a gift you get whenever you want to go and access it.
00:51:34.000 Bro, that...
00:51:37.000 That's like a lesson I learned with this, you know, trying to write new stuff since I put out the last special.
00:51:42.000 I was telling you this.
00:51:42.000 It was, like, really hard.
00:51:44.000 It was, like, really hard for me.
00:51:46.000 And I hadn't experienced that before in stand-up.
00:51:49.000 And, uh...
00:51:51.000 But I just didn't want to do a different version of jokes I'd already done.
00:51:57.000 And I feel like sometimes that happens.
00:51:59.000 It's not necessarily bad, but I've done it for sure.
00:52:03.000 But I just really wanted the comedy to reflect what I'd gone through in life and how I'd changed in life.
00:52:10.000 And that was fucking hard, man, to sit there, think, develop new...
00:52:16.000 Ways to attack these things that I haven't experienced before.
00:52:20.000 Yeah, your stand-up is basically like a snapshot of who you are.
00:52:26.000 In that moment.
00:52:27.000 At that year.
00:52:28.000 If I look at a special that I did from 2009, I'm a very different person.
00:52:33.000 If I look at a special I did from 2016, I'm a very different person.
00:52:37.000 And so it's just a snapshot.
00:52:39.000 And then you have to kind of figure out who you are now.
00:52:41.000 And all your new material has to be, who are you now?
00:52:44.000 And if you're honest, you acknowledge who you are now.
00:52:48.000 And I think some people, or some comics, they don't, and then they get into that world where they kind of almost look like they're doing an impression of themselves.
00:52:57.000 Yes.
00:52:57.000 And the audience can tell.
00:52:59.000 A hundred percent.
00:53:00.000 And maybe they don't know consciously what's happening, but they can feel it.
00:53:04.000 They don't feel like you're connecting with them.
00:53:05.000 Yeah, they don't feel it because they're like, oh, you're doing this version, and I never, like I always valued...
00:53:11.000 You know, Patrice was always kind of like my North Star, and I always valued, like, the authenticity.
00:53:14.000 Like, what is the thing?
00:53:16.000 Like, how do I fucking feel?
00:53:19.000 And, yeah, there was so much transition.
00:53:22.000 Like, I mean, I did so many bits early on about, like, chicks being annoying, and then, like, I got an amazing wife that I love, and I'm like, they ain't that annoying.
00:53:30.000 You know what I mean?
00:53:31.000 Like, you get a coffee in the morning, like, there's always snacks in the pantry.
00:53:35.000 Like, it's not that annoying, right?
00:53:37.000 Like, so I'm like, I have to be pure About what I'm going through, and that was tricky, man.
00:53:45.000 It really feels good to be at a point where like, okay, now I've got some stuff that I'm excited about, that I want to talk about, and I feel hungry.
00:53:52.000 But for a while, it was hard, man.
00:53:54.000 What is your writing process like?
00:53:56.000 Now I've become way more diligent.
00:53:59.000 So like, before I would just go up and riff on stage and now it's harder for me to get up.
00:54:04.000 I make sure I do about, I go three nights a week and I gotta do at least four spots each of those nights.
00:54:10.000 So I can get to about 12, which I think is like a good amount of time to kinda let go.
00:54:15.000 And then, off nights, I have to also work.
00:54:19.000 So I just have to talk.
00:54:21.000 I either talk to myself.
00:54:22.000 I'll call up one of my buddies and I'll be like, hey, what are you working on?
00:54:25.000 Hey, let's go.
00:54:26.000 Just tell me what your things are.
00:54:27.000 Then I'll tell ideas that I have and try to flesh out how I feel about it.
00:54:31.000 Because I can't write the bit until I know how I feel.
00:54:35.000 Sometimes it takes me a little bit to feel.
00:54:37.000 So your process is just a lot of thinking about ideas.
00:54:40.000 And talking.
00:54:41.000 Talking to people about stuff.
00:54:42.000 We have to just talk.
00:54:43.000 Like...
00:54:44.000 I think that's why I enjoy podcasting.
00:54:48.000 It's getting to how I feel about a thing.
00:54:50.000 And you say a bunch of things that are funny and absurd and crazy and salacious on the way.
00:54:56.000 But what is my core feeling about this issue?
00:54:59.000 And once I'm at that core, then everything emanates from the core.
00:55:03.000 But if I can't get to the core, I just have some misdirection that I don't even believe in.
00:55:07.000 Once I get to the meat and potatoes, it flows.
00:55:11.000 Everything just kind of like...
00:55:13.000 Yeah, you find that zone.
00:55:14.000 You find that area where you're supposed to exist in.
00:55:17.000 Yes.
00:55:18.000 Yeah.
00:55:19.000 Yeah, I can write from it much easier.
00:55:21.000 I can riff from it much easier.
00:55:22.000 Because I feel like I'm being honest with the audience.
00:55:24.000 Like, every line is honest.
00:55:28.000 It might not be funny yet.
00:55:29.000 But you know I'm being honest.
00:55:31.000 You know that I'm telling you how I feel about this thing.
00:55:34.000 And I think that they'll attach themselves to that.
00:55:37.000 And then if I can catch you or I stumble across something...
00:55:41.000 It can hit, but I need to know what I feel about it and I can't write about things I don't care like the idea of like being like a and God bless them But like the late-night writers where you just like they throw you some shit and you got a joke about it My brain doesn't work like that.
00:55:55.000 That's like living off oatmeal for the rest of your life That's like, you can stay alive, Andrew.
00:56:04.000 But you're gonna eat plain oatmeal.
00:56:06.000 There's some guys fucking listening right now.
00:56:07.000 Plain oatmeal for the rest of your life.
00:56:09.000 Yeah.
00:56:11.000 That's what that is.
00:56:12.000 Yeah.
00:56:13.000 Yeah.
00:56:14.000 Yeah, I gotta care, Dale.
00:56:16.000 I gotta really fucking care.
00:56:17.000 That's because you care about what you do, and that's why you're so funny.
00:56:21.000 We all have to care about what we do.
00:56:24.000 And I think everybody does it in different ways, you know?
00:56:27.000 Yeah.
00:56:28.000 I'm always interested in the writing process.
00:56:30.000 Yeah, why?
00:56:31.000 What is yours?
00:56:31.000 You just go, right?
00:56:32.000 Like, you'll just sit in front of the laptop and just write stream of conscious, right?
00:56:35.000 I think that's important.
00:56:37.000 I don't think it's necessary, because some of the greats don't do it.
00:56:41.000 But if I really, if I was going to teach a class on creating stand-up, I mean, look, it's not like I'm the best stand-up in the world, so I'm not like I'm the best qualified to do this.
00:56:52.000 But if I was given this task to do that, I would say, You should do all those things.
00:57:01.000 There's nothing that keeps you from writing.
00:57:04.000 Why don't you write?
00:57:06.000 You like to think about things and talk about things, but what about sitting and talking to yourself about a thing and writing it?
00:57:15.000 And there's a very specific mindset that takes place.
00:57:19.000 For me, when I'm in front of the keyboard and I'm writing an essay on something, I can type so I don't have to look at the keys, which is nice.
00:57:28.000 I don't type great, but I type okay.
00:57:30.000 Enough, yeah.
00:57:31.000 I type enough.
00:57:31.000 And so I can just zone in on the page and I'm thinking about every word much longer than it takes to type that word.
00:57:43.000 Or rather, if I had to write something out, if you're writing out a word, it's so much more time to write it out than it is to just think about that word.
00:57:53.000 So now you're chewing on it while you're writing it out.
00:57:55.000 Yeah, so as you're writing each individual word, you're pausing in time.
00:57:59.000 Yeah.
00:58:00.000 And you're in a time lapse and you get to consider each and every possible way you would say something from that word while you're writing that word.
00:58:10.000 And there's a physical task of doing that with your keys and your fingers that makes you concentrate because it fires up your synapses and makes you think that you're doing this with your fingers.
00:58:23.000 It's kind of exciting.
00:58:25.000 Especially if you have a tactile keyboard.
00:58:28.000 See, I use a keyboard that has a lot of keystroke.
00:58:34.000 It's like a lot of room.
00:58:37.000 That's why I work with a ThinkPad.
00:58:40.000 Because they clickety-clickety-click, so you feel it in your fingers.
00:58:44.000 So it's this tactile thing, and then the words are up there, and I'm thinking about the words, and then other things come to me.
00:58:50.000 Do you find that you...
00:58:54.000 You speak differently when you write?
00:58:56.000 Yes.
00:58:57.000 Than when you talk to a person.
00:58:59.000 Right.
00:58:59.000 Definitely.
00:59:00.000 You definitely...
00:59:01.000 It's not natural when you write.
00:59:03.000 It's not clean.
00:59:04.000 But what you do is you take these bullet points from these various things that you wrote out and just say them how you would say them.
00:59:13.000 Yeah.
00:59:14.000 Say them how you would say them when you're right there.
00:59:16.000 Yeah.
00:59:17.000 So it's like you can't rely on writing to create great jokes or But the ideas can come from that.
00:59:25.000 It's a farm for ideas.
00:59:27.000 That's what it is.
00:59:27.000 I need to have that moment.
00:59:29.000 For me, it's not sitting down, but it's like, okay, there's a weird meditative state that I can get to if I'm running and I have a song that I know well enough where I can tap into my subconscious.
00:59:42.000 But not too well where the song bores me.
00:59:44.000 Right.
00:59:45.000 And I get into a weird state.
00:59:46.000 And sometimes when I'm just running, I hate it and it's awful, whatever.
00:59:50.000 And then sometimes I get into this state where I can lock in and create these other scenarios and I kind of exist in these scenarios.
00:59:55.000 And I imagine this is what the super elite runners probably can access this for 26 miles or something like that.
01:00:02.000 I can't do that and I can't tap in every time.
01:00:04.000 But when I can tap into that state, I can create these worlds that I exist in.
01:00:09.000 And sometimes these lines come up, these ideas come up, this curiosity comes up.
01:00:14.000 There's a part of my brain that now can flourish because other parts of my brain are accessed.
01:00:20.000 So it hits when you're breathing heavy, when you start sweating?
01:00:25.000 It's like my brain is occupied by maintaining this pace, which is probably pretty fast, but not so fast where I can't concentrate.
01:00:32.000 But that's occupied there.
01:00:34.000 And then another part of my brain is occupied by the music.
01:00:36.000 And sometimes I'll just replay the same song over and over again.
01:00:39.000 But there's a state, right?
01:00:41.000 Something happens, and it's like, I don't know what the fuck it is, and I wish I could, like, lock in on it, you know, like, and just exist in that for three hours a day or something.
01:00:50.000 But when I can, thoughts become really clear, and ideas become really clear, and sometimes they're fucking shit, and then sometimes they're, like, really interesting.
01:00:58.000 And I can replay these scenarios and think of, like, Interesting comeback or like this really self-deprecating thing that happened and it's just like I'll literally hop off the treadmill sweaty as fuck dripping all over my phone write the idea and then get back on but I don't know if that's a good strategy for doing it but these are the different scenarios to access that part of the brain that I almost feel like is always working like I don't know,
01:01:20.000 I always felt like comedy exists, and then you just kind of find it.
01:01:23.000 I don't think I've created any comedy.
01:01:25.000 I think it's there, and I just kind of like, this is stupid, but like, you know, like, what is it, the constellations.
01:01:32.000 It's like the stars are there, but somebody looked at them and they're like, ooh, that kind of looks like a belt.
01:01:37.000 Ooh, that kind of looks like a dipper.
01:01:38.000 Right.
01:01:39.000 You know what I mean?
01:01:39.000 Yes, I know what you're saying.
01:01:40.000 That's kind of what I think with a lot of these ideas.
01:01:42.000 It's like, all the things are there.
01:01:45.000 And you're just kind of like connecting these little dots.
01:01:47.000 Well, I think the more you look at it like that, the more it becomes available to you too.
01:01:53.000 Because I think one of the traps of the human mind is that when you get good at something, your ego inflates and you think it's about you and you're just a special thing and you're better than everybody.
01:02:09.000 And there's a way that you could do it that nobody can fuck with.
01:02:12.000 And there's a thing that's like a normal thing that people do.
01:02:16.000 And I think that that invades your creative process.
01:02:21.000 You create an expectation for yourself.
01:02:24.000 I'll be honest, that's why I took some time away.
01:02:27.000 I just wanted to create.
01:02:29.000 I don't let any friends come see me.
01:02:30.000 I don't let anybody come see me.
01:02:32.000 When I'm in creation mode, it's so weird because obviously the people will come out.
01:02:37.000 I want some time for me.
01:02:41.000 I don't want to be there thinking like, God, is my wife going to be upset that I say this thing?
01:02:47.000 Because that stops the tag that might be too far, might be too wild, or might be perfect.
01:02:55.000 I want to create and not have a fucking care in the world.
01:03:01.000 I don't know, you said something to me yesterday that was like, you don't want to be any more famous.
01:03:07.000 And I was like, it's a wild thing to say, but I get it!
01:03:12.000 Because it's like, the more that comes with it, maybe the more restriction you feel.
01:03:19.000 Well, you're more susceptible to criticism.
01:03:24.000 You're more susceptible to people being upset with you.
01:03:27.000 You're more susceptible to people thinking that it's not fair.
01:03:30.000 Because it's not fair.
01:03:31.000 There's no fair.
01:03:33.000 That's what's weird about life.
01:03:34.000 It's one of the weirdest things.
01:03:36.000 It doesn't necessarily make sense.
01:03:39.000 What becomes successful and what's not and who's making money and who's not.
01:03:43.000 It's not about how much effort you're putting in.
01:03:45.000 It's not about that.
01:03:47.000 It's a weird game we're all playing.
01:03:50.000 And the more successful you get, you're like, would you want to be the richest guy in the world?
01:03:55.000 What the fuck is that?
01:03:57.000 Is he living any better than number 39?
01:03:59.000 They leave 39 alone.
01:04:03.000 39 is probably worth five billion.
01:04:06.000 That dude's chillin'.
01:04:07.000 What do they say about that?
01:04:08.000 They don't say jack shit about that guy.
01:04:10.000 That guy's eating filet mignon and drinking Dom Perignon.
01:04:13.000 Same Jets.
01:04:14.000 Yeah.
01:04:14.000 Same hotels.
01:04:15.000 And having a great ass time.
01:04:16.000 Great time.
01:04:17.000 Same Instagram model.
01:04:18.000 Exactly the same shit.
01:04:20.000 Like with no scrutiny.
01:04:21.000 Nothing's different.
01:04:21.000 Same pure cocaine straight out of Colombia.
01:04:27.000 They're flaking it off with razor blades.
01:04:30.000 Like the purest fucking brick cocaine.
01:04:33.000 The shit that fucking Peter Frampton used to snort in the 70s.
01:04:40.000 Peter, I don't know if you did coke.
01:04:42.000 I should have said somebody else.
01:04:43.000 Who would be a good reference?
01:04:45.000 You did.
01:04:46.000 Who would be a good reference?
01:04:48.000 Who definitely snorted coke in the 70s?
01:04:51.000 In the 70s?
01:04:52.000 Fucking John Travolta.
01:04:53.000 Oh yeah, he must have.
01:04:55.000 Off of some guy's back?
01:04:56.000 Whoa!
01:05:01.000 It was a massage!
01:05:03.000 It was a massage.
01:05:06.000 Snorting coke and getting massages.
01:05:08.000 I tried coke once.
01:05:10.000 Yeah?
01:05:11.000 And it lives up to the hype.
01:05:13.000 Does it?
01:05:14.000 Bro.
01:05:15.000 Have you ever done coke?
01:05:16.000 No, I have not.
01:05:17.000 The singer-songwriter's career of intense highs and devastating deceptions is explored in a revealing new memoir, Peter Frampton.
01:05:24.000 I was kept high.
01:05:25.000 If I needed cocaine, he made sure I had it.
01:05:29.000 Hey, bitch, that's your fault.
01:05:31.000 Yeah.
01:05:31.000 I don't like that.
01:05:32.000 I don't like that kind of talk.
01:05:34.000 I don't like that kind of talk.
01:05:36.000 Breathe out of your mouth.
01:05:37.000 No, no, no.
01:05:38.000 Unless they were holding you down and making you snort it off that stripper's tits, then there's no fucking way that you could say that they did that to you, sir.
01:05:51.000 Yeah.
01:05:52.000 Right?
01:05:53.000 Yeah, I wonder if they got to look back and they don't want to take responsibility for what they did.
01:05:59.000 Well, it must be awful to, like, have had everything ripped away from you because you became a cocaine addict or because you got into heroin.
01:06:10.000 Imagine just, like, you have a functional existence, everything's great, you're doing a thing, whether it's rock and roll music or whatever it is, and then all of a sudden things start going well.
01:06:20.000 You're doing shows, and you just like to get high, and you're just getting high a lot, and you're just, like, doing shows, like, I need a bump before I go up.
01:06:29.000 And next thing you know, you're getting high every night, and you're just wrecked, and your immune system is wrecked, and your body's wrecked, and you're always, like, implementing chemicals.
01:06:39.000 It's always alcohol to sleep, and maybe Ambien, and cocaine to wake up.
01:06:45.000 You're living three, four years to every one year.
01:06:49.000 Every one year, you've got three or four years of damage, because you're going so hard.
01:06:55.000 And then, you know, you don't want to think it was just you.
01:06:59.000 And it's not just you, because it's addictive.
01:07:02.000 It's a problem.
01:07:03.000 It's like telling someone they have the flu, like, well, you should be sick.
01:07:08.000 I'm like, okay, that's not helping them.
01:07:10.000 They're addicted.
01:07:11.000 They're physically addicted to coke.
01:07:14.000 And we want to categorize that as being a mental weakness, or we want to categorize that as being you're totally helpless, and the addiction has overwhelmed you.
01:07:24.000 I suspect it's a combination of the two things.
01:07:28.000 I suspect that's why there's such polarizing camps between the idea that it's not your fault at all and it's 100% your fault.
01:07:37.000 And you need to fucking just be stronger.
01:07:39.000 It's also the hardest thing to understand if you've never done it.
01:07:43.000 Like all these people that have no empathy for the people that get caught up in addiction have just probably never tried heroin.
01:07:48.000 Yeah, they never tried it.
01:07:50.000 They don't know what they're talking about.
01:07:51.000 I bet it's amazing.
01:07:52.000 Have you ever tried heroin?
01:07:53.000 No, I haven't.
01:07:54.000 But when I had a knee operation, they had this morphine drip.
01:07:59.000 Crazy.
01:08:00.000 Yeah, I've been told that this is not correct by someone, but I don't know if that's true.
01:08:05.000 They said when I was in the operation, so I got an ACL reconstruction in 1993 or some shit.
01:08:13.000 The old surgery.
01:08:14.000 Bro, they open you up like a fish.
01:08:17.000 Yeah.
01:08:17.000 And they take a piece of your shin bone and a piece of your kneecap and a strip of your patella tendon.
01:08:25.000 And then they open you up and then fucking screw it in place.
01:08:29.000 And that's your new ACL. It's actually stronger than the original ACL. But you don't have the same functionality.
01:08:38.000 Like the new ACL surgeries are incredible.
01:08:40.000 These guys are back after six months.
01:08:42.000 Yeah, the new ACL surgeries, most of what they're doing is, well, I did both.
01:08:47.000 I did a cadaver graft on my right knee.
01:08:49.000 What's that?
01:08:50.000 The cadaver graft, they take a dead dude's Achilles heel, his Achilles tendon, which is much stronger and thicker than the tendon that's general, the real ACL. And they make that your ACL? Yeah, they turn that into your ACL. Interesting.
01:09:05.000 Yeah, and that was only six months.
01:09:07.000 That was six months, and then I was back, like, basically 100%.
01:09:12.000 That was really good, because that one, like, I was walking without a cane in, like, five days.
01:09:19.000 After an ACL surgery.
01:09:20.000 Yeah, it was crazy.
01:09:22.000 It was so much less invasive, that one, to get the cadaver one.
01:09:26.000 The other one is so invasive, because, like, they have to cut you.
01:09:29.000 It's a big slice.
01:09:30.000 They have to open you up and screw it in and screw it in and then check to see if it's good.
01:09:38.000 But it is your tendon that they're cutting.
01:09:42.000 But the cadaver one, what happens is it becomes a scaffolding and your body proliferates the scaffolding of the dead dude's heel.
01:09:54.000 What does that mean?
01:09:54.000 It starts to eat it up or something?
01:09:56.000 No, it changes it.
01:09:58.000 It overcomes it with its own cells.
01:10:00.000 So originally, all it is, is like a scaffolding for your body to grow that tendon back.
01:10:08.000 Oh, that's the purpose of it.
01:10:10.000 Yeah.
01:10:10.000 What your body is doing is you're, like, if they take, I'm sure if you're a doctor out there, I'm fucking this up.
01:10:16.000 So I'm sorry.
01:10:17.000 We're just comedians, by the way, just to remind everybody.
01:10:19.000 They take the Achilles tendon and then they screw it into the bone on the top and the bottom.
01:10:25.000 So it becomes your new ACL. But it's not really that stable because it's a dead guy's shit.
01:10:31.000 So your body has to use it as a scaffolding and build its own tissue over this.
01:10:39.000 And then within six months, that process has happened.
01:10:42.000 Amazing.
01:10:43.000 And then you have a real, like, solid ACL that's way stronger.
01:10:47.000 I think it's 150% stronger than a regular ACL. Have you ever forgotten...
01:10:55.000 Like, your wife's birthday or anything?
01:10:57.000 No.
01:10:58.000 I'm pretty good with that.
01:10:59.000 But I have an iPhone.
01:11:01.000 I guess, like, you have this incredible retention.
01:11:05.000 So if I was your wife and you forgot my birthday, I would be serious.
01:11:10.000 Because you remembered, like, you were saying vitamins and minerals and all this shit last night.
01:11:15.000 Like, David Lucas asked you about something and you just started, like, rifling off.
01:11:19.000 So I wonder if you have, like, a higher expectation to remember things.
01:11:23.000 No, generally speaking.
01:11:25.000 Because I'm only good at remembering things I'm interested in.
01:11:31.000 Babe, your birthday's not one of those days.
01:11:34.000 I'll forget my own birthday.
01:11:36.000 If I, like, just am not tuned into something, it's not consistent.
01:11:41.000 Like, my memory is very consistent for things that are, like, a crazy moment.
01:11:46.000 Like, if something wild happens, I just have, like, a snapshot of it.
01:11:50.000 It's very weird.
01:11:51.000 When people tell me something that's fascinating, it becomes embedded.
01:11:55.000 Like if I'm talking to Graham Hancock or Randall Carlson, they blow my mind with some shit.
01:12:01.000 If I talk to physicists who intrigue me with these theories about everything and...
01:12:09.000 But if someone's just talking to me about some fucking stupid thing that we might do next week, I forget about it immediately.
01:12:17.000 Done.
01:12:17.000 Gone.
01:12:17.000 Doesn't matter.
01:12:18.000 Unless it's a real thing.
01:12:19.000 Tell me when it's a real thing.
01:12:20.000 Because you know how people are.
01:12:22.000 People are flaky.
01:12:23.000 I don't remember shit.
01:12:23.000 You said you were going to go.
01:12:25.000 I go, okay, I'll go.
01:12:25.000 I don't want to fucking remember that.
01:12:27.000 How do you not remember that?
01:12:29.000 Because...
01:12:29.000 Because it's just, we're going to go to dinner.
01:12:31.000 It's not like, you know, how does the Hadron Collider create the Higgs bosom particle?
01:12:38.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:12:38.000 Most people would be like, yeah, dinner's easier to remember.
01:12:41.000 Yeah.
01:12:42.000 And you'd be like, well, yeah, they just throw it in fucking Lucerne.
01:12:45.000 You only have so much room.
01:12:46.000 That's what it is.
01:12:47.000 It's not even that people are stupid.
01:12:49.000 It's like people only, like when you think of a person as stupid, a lot of times stupid people are good at things.
01:12:54.000 So why is he good at that thing but not good at things that prove you're smart?
01:12:58.000 Hmm.
01:12:59.000 Because oftentimes it's like, what are you concentrating on?
01:13:02.000 Like, if you're concentrating on a very particular thing, and you suck at it, well, then you might be dumb.
01:13:09.000 But if someone is...
01:13:12.000 If you're trying to concentrate on all things, you're gonna be stupid at something.
01:13:18.000 I thought about that as I got older.
01:13:20.000 And I'm like, am I just taking in more meaningless bullshit?
01:13:24.000 So it's harder for me to remember because it's couched with all this other nonsense that I'm taking in all day.
01:13:32.000 Yeah.
01:13:32.000 Like, how many things can you take in in a day?
01:13:35.000 How many, like, good memories can you make in a day?
01:13:39.000 Or is there another way that you have to, like, find a way to imprint those memories?
01:13:43.000 You know, my pops, his short-term memory is pretty much gone.
01:13:48.000 But, like, with repetition, things start to lock in in his long-term memory.
01:13:52.000 And it was like...
01:13:54.000 It was a fascinating thing for him to remember my wife.
01:13:57.000 First few times I had to introduce her and everything like that, and then eventually he's like, how's everything with Emma?
01:14:02.000 And I was like, what the fuck?
01:14:04.000 How does memory work if Yeah, like something transferred.
01:14:10.000 Like he can get around the city fine.
01:14:12.000 He can take the subway.
01:14:13.000 He can do all these things.
01:14:14.000 Does he have Alzheimer's?
01:14:16.000 He has what's called MCI. Mild cognitive impairment, I think it's called it.
01:14:21.000 Sometimes that leads into Alzheimer's.
01:14:23.000 Sometimes it doesn't.
01:14:24.000 But basically he zaps you with your short-term memory.
01:14:28.000 Yeah, it's tricky.
01:14:29.000 And then you think about it with yourself, like how is that, you know, could that happen to you?
01:14:33.000 I remember, you know, times where I... What's the cause of it?
01:14:36.000 Is it just genetic?
01:14:37.000 Might be genetic.
01:14:39.000 You know, who knows?
01:14:40.000 I think, you know, we'll look into a lot of, like, these...
01:14:45.000 Drugs that people have taken for depression and other things and maybe, who knows, in 50 years from now we'll go, wow, that had some other side effects that could be bad.
01:14:52.000 Isn't it fascinating if you were objective about this and you looked at human beings?
01:14:57.000 You would look at human beings.
01:14:59.000 I know we think of ourselves as very different than any other system.
01:15:03.000 Because we're humans.
01:15:04.000 We don't even really think of ourselves as being a part of wildlife, right?
01:15:08.000 Kind of interesting.
01:15:08.000 We call it wildlife and we call, you know, we have life.
01:15:11.000 We're not wild.
01:15:12.000 Go to Florida.
01:15:13.000 Yeah, there's us and then there's wildlife.
01:15:15.000 It's very interesting.
01:15:16.000 Yeah.
01:15:17.000 But human beings are very similar to cars.
01:15:25.000 We're very similar to, if you looked at the amount of automobiles that exist, there's automobiles that are notoriously durable and reliable.
01:15:36.000 There's like Toyota Land Cruisers.
01:15:39.000 Toyota Corolla.
01:15:39.000 Yeah, Corolla.
01:15:40.000 I was about to say, Corolla you have for 20 years.
01:15:41.000 Bro, you get a Toyota, that motherfucker's never gonna break.
01:15:44.000 Dude, we had one as a kid.
01:15:45.000 Every Toyota I've ever had just last and last and last.
01:15:50.000 They're so durable.
01:15:52.000 Their goal, a friend of mine was just telling me this, Phil was telling me this, that their goal is to last for 30 years in a third world country.
01:16:02.000 Like, don't fucking, nobody builds a car like that.
01:16:04.000 And it's true, because when you see what the Taliban uses.
01:16:06.000 Yes, Land Cruisers.
01:16:08.000 Yeah.
01:16:09.000 And then there's Range Rovers.
01:16:11.000 You get five, ten?
01:16:13.000 And then there's, you know, a 1990 Chevy Malibu.
01:16:19.000 How long does that last?
01:16:20.000 Piece of shit.
01:16:21.000 It is, yeah.
01:16:21.000 And that's the cop car, right?
01:16:23.000 It's a piece of shit.
01:16:24.000 The cop car was the Impala.
01:16:26.000 Oh, the Impala.
01:16:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:16:30.000 Why is that?
01:16:31.000 But then there's like a 2023 Corvette.
01:16:34.000 You're like, damn!
01:16:35.000 That's a great car, yeah.
01:16:36.000 It's like there's different kinds of cars.
01:16:39.000 But is that a choice?
01:16:41.000 No, I mean by the manufacturer.
01:16:44.000 Are they going like, if we make a car that's good for 30 years, people will keep it for 30 years.
01:16:48.000 If we make a car that's good for 10, they re-up after 10. It's a good question.
01:16:53.000 Like, why did they do it the way they did it, right?
01:16:56.000 Because sensibly, like a car from...
01:17:00.000 I have a car that I love that's from 2007. It's almost 20 years old.
01:17:06.000 Like, you would think that you would need to get another car to enjoy, but you really don't.
01:17:10.000 Like, are you a fucking race car driver?
01:17:13.000 Like, what are you doing?
01:17:14.000 Like, why are you driving to go so fast?
01:17:16.000 Are you just enjoying what a car feels like to drive?
01:17:19.000 That's what you should be doing.
01:17:20.000 So it's like, why does everybody need to get new ones all the time?
01:17:24.000 Well, we're kind of programmed to think that if you're successful, that that's what you do.
01:17:29.000 You know, if you're successful, you don't roll around a 2008 Mercedes.
01:17:33.000 What is that piece of shit?
01:17:35.000 What are those stupid fucking headlights and actual key to start the engine?
01:17:40.000 Actual key.
01:17:41.000 God forbid.
01:17:42.000 Yeah, what the fuck are you doing?
01:17:43.000 Are you turning the key to start the engine?
01:17:46.000 What are you, a peasant?
01:17:51.000 Right?
01:17:53.000 It's like, what is it?
01:17:55.000 Give it a second.
01:17:56.000 Let it warm up.
01:17:57.000 Fucking stupid asshole.
01:17:59.000 Press the button.
01:18:00.000 Get a real car.
01:18:01.000 If you're doing well, you get a real car.
01:18:03.000 If you like the car, though, that's the thing.
01:18:06.000 There are people that don't care about cars.
01:18:09.000 Right.
01:18:10.000 And getting a car to impress other people when you don't care about cars is such a waste of money.
01:18:14.000 Right.
01:18:15.000 But if you love the cars, then spend your money and have some fun.
01:18:19.000 Yeah.
01:18:19.000 There's a reason why a Range Rover costs $190,000 or whatever it is.
01:18:25.000 How much does those cost?
01:18:26.000 Yeah, around there, depending on what it is.
01:18:27.000 Because when you drive them, they're awesome.
01:18:29.000 I rented one in Salt Lake City.
01:18:32.000 It's like a giant tank of opulence.
01:18:36.000 Yeah, it is beautiful.
01:18:37.000 You feel like the world's okay.
01:18:39.000 The world's okay.
01:18:41.000 Every bump is kind of smooth.
01:18:43.000 The sound system's amazing.
01:18:46.000 Bluetooth synced up like that.
01:18:48.000 Listening to my tunes.
01:18:50.000 Just driving around Park City.
01:18:52.000 But we'll break down.
01:18:55.000 Perhaps.
01:18:56.000 It perhaps won't be as robust as the Land Cruiser.
01:19:00.000 Or as resilient as a Toyota.
01:19:03.000 Yeah.
01:19:04.000 But you're not paying for resilience.
01:19:05.000 That's the thing.
01:19:06.000 If you're getting a Range Rover, stop acting like this is your 30-year car.
01:19:10.000 You're choosing to buy a $200,000 SUV because you're not going to be driving along the fucking pyramids in it.
01:19:16.000 Right?
01:19:17.000 Yeah.
01:19:17.000 Let's be honest about what's going on here.
01:19:19.000 You're in stop-and-go traffic.
01:19:20.000 It's going to break down.
01:19:21.000 You're in Beverly Hills.
01:19:22.000 What do you expect is going on here?
01:19:23.000 Tim Dillon has one of those things.
01:19:25.000 He got the Range.
01:19:26.000 Yeah.
01:19:26.000 He got a few nice cars.
01:19:27.000 Tim Dillon lives like a baller.
01:19:29.000 He really does.
01:19:29.000 He and I talk about it.
01:19:30.000 I talk to him.
01:19:31.000 What do you say?
01:19:31.000 I encourage him to spend his money.
01:19:32.000 Spend that money.
01:19:33.000 Spend that money, bro.
01:19:34.000 He earns it.
01:19:34.000 Good for him.
01:19:35.000 I try to tell all of them, like, let's go.
01:19:36.000 Yeah.
01:19:37.000 Let's fucking go.
01:19:38.000 Wait, why?
01:19:39.000 Okay, that's interesting.
01:19:40.000 Why do you tell them to spend?
01:19:41.000 Because I don't like that, like, save it all up famine mindset.
01:19:47.000 Did you have that ever?
01:19:48.000 Because you didn't come from crazy money.
01:19:50.000 No, I did not have a spend-what-you-have mindset until I started making money.
01:19:56.000 But when I started making money, I shifted quickly.
01:19:59.000 Immediately switched.
01:20:00.000 My manager thought I had a gambling problem.
01:20:02.000 Was he right?
01:20:03.000 No, no, I wasn't gambling at all.
01:20:05.000 I was eating lobster every night.
01:20:08.000 Your business manager called you and said there's an issue?
01:20:11.000 He's like, what are you doing?
01:20:11.000 What are you doing with all your money?
01:20:13.000 I'm like, I'm living like a king, bitch.
01:20:14.000 Wait, when did you decide?
01:20:15.000 I've been poor since I was a little kid.
01:20:17.000 So you can handle being poor.
01:20:19.000 Poor's not scary to you.
01:20:20.000 Oh, I'm not scared.
01:20:21.000 I wasn't scared of being poor.
01:20:22.000 That's the most liberating shit.
01:20:23.000 But I was like, I'm eating lobster, son.
01:20:25.000 Yeah, I'm scared of not living life.
01:20:26.000 That's the fear I think a lot of people don't get.
01:20:28.000 Where it's just like, you've been poor, you're cool with being poor.
01:20:31.000 You're not afraid of that because you knew how to thrive within that.
01:20:34.000 You knew how to manage that.
01:20:35.000 You're afraid of having all this and not enjoying it in this one life you have.
01:20:40.000 Well, I think for sure when I first started getting money, I didn't think it was going to last.
01:20:47.000 Like, nothing had ever lasted before.
01:20:49.000 Like, why would I think that this was gonna, like...
01:20:50.000 There was no stability in it.
01:20:52.000 It's like, why would I think that this was gonna, like, keep happening?
01:20:56.000 I was gonna get on television.
01:20:57.000 Like, who the fuck gets on TV? You know?
01:21:00.000 So I was like, I'm spending this fucking money.
01:21:01.000 Like, I'm gonna have some fun.
01:21:03.000 We're just eating lobsters.
01:21:05.000 I bought a...
01:21:06.000 I bought a Volkswagen.
01:21:08.000 I got like a 1990, that car that I showed you last night, a Volkswagen Dorado, that I would bump Cool G Rap in.
01:21:15.000 No, you showed me Cool G Rap, you didn't show me the car.
01:21:17.000 Yeah, oh, it was Derek then.
01:21:19.000 I was telling him, like, I'm such a Cool G Rap fan because when I was driving the gigs in the 1990s, it was like really the best sound system I ever had in a car.
01:21:32.000 I had like a nice sound system and it was like a Blaupunkt.
01:21:34.000 It kind of had a handle.
01:21:35.000 You pull it out when you leave the car so no one steals it.
01:21:38.000 Remember that one?
01:21:39.000 The radio?
01:21:40.000 Yes!
01:21:41.000 The radio comes out like a fucking laptop.
01:21:44.000 I was explaining this to my guys, my young guys who don't understand that the radio used to come out of the car.
01:21:49.000 And their reaction was this.
01:21:51.000 They would go, hold on.
01:21:53.000 They'd go, people would steal the radio?
01:21:56.000 Bro, that was the whole thing.
01:21:58.000 And they would sell them too.
01:21:59.000 Yeah, the radio.
01:22:01.000 Yeah.
01:22:03.000 Yeah.
01:22:03.000 So you would get it so it would come out on a slider.
01:22:07.000 Yeah.
01:22:08.000 Remember that?
01:22:08.000 Yeah.
01:22:09.000 You'd hold it up like a handbag.
01:22:10.000 Yeah, there was like a little hook.
01:22:11.000 And you'd be walking around.
01:22:12.000 So dudes would be walking around with their fucking Blaupunk at the bar.
01:22:15.000 People would put a little sign on their car.
01:22:17.000 Yeah, please don't break in my window.
01:22:19.000 Radio's not in the car.
01:22:20.000 Yeah.
01:22:21.000 Isn't that wild?
01:22:22.000 People are stealing radios.
01:22:23.000 That all went away.
01:22:25.000 Once it became like an integrated computer system with Apple CarPlay and Android Play and all that.
01:22:30.000 And once just having iPod got cheap, just having music on you, it was on your phone.
01:22:36.000 People don't give Steve Jobs enough credit for that.
01:22:38.000 He really stopped a lot of car theft.
01:22:40.000 Like, breaking into cars?
01:22:42.000 Probably.
01:22:43.000 Yeah.
01:22:44.000 The ability to get a song, like what we were doing last night.
01:22:48.000 Dude.
01:22:49.000 Like, the ability to get a song, like, literally instantaneously and just, like, using your thumbs and bam.
01:22:55.000 You blasting 90s hip-hop last night.
01:22:58.000 Bro.
01:22:59.000 That's my shit.
01:23:00.000 I had no clue that you liked 90s hip-hop.
01:23:02.000 That's my shit, dude.
01:23:03.000 I remember going, I was like, bro, you might like Big L. And I'm saying it as if you don't know who this guy is.
01:23:08.000 And you're like, oh yeah, Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous?
01:23:11.000 Love that, love that.
01:23:12.000 Yeah, I got a whole playlist with Big L. Yeah, I have a Big L playlist.
01:23:16.000 Big L was, boy, you talk about a tragedy.
01:23:19.000 That guy was snatched too soon.
01:23:21.000 He was really talented.
01:23:22.000 And for not even his fault.
01:23:23.000 It was, I believe, I could be wrong, his brother was the guy who was really involved.
01:23:28.000 Yeah.
01:23:29.000 I remember that time in New York when Big L was popping.
01:23:32.000 I was probably in elementary or middle.
01:23:37.000 Big L was rapping in a multi-syllabic way, and he had these hilariously funny punchlines.
01:23:47.000 He had this one thing, he goes, ask Beavis, I get nothing but hit.
01:23:53.000 And like, it was just like, he had like, he goes, oh god, I'm so ahead of my time, my parents haven't even met yet.
01:24:02.000 Like, he had like, kind of punchlines in the rap, like, it was funny.
01:24:08.000 There were funny lines, and I remember hearing this dude.
01:24:12.000 I didn't even know what he looked like.
01:24:13.000 That's how detached we were, right?
01:24:14.000 If you didn't have a music video out, you're just hearing this guy's bars.
01:24:17.000 And it was such a cool time in New York, where your friend could put you onto music, and there would be no way you could find out about music without your friend putting you on.
01:24:25.000 If you weren't on MTV, or The Box, or whatever the hell the channel was, your buddy had to say, you need to listen to this, and then play a cassette or CD of that person.
01:24:37.000 Everything was word of mouth.
01:24:38.000 It was almost like there was more justice because there wasn't a way where you could influence people into listening to a track.
01:24:44.000 Like yeah, I guess for sure like top 100 whatever on the radio, but if it wasn't on the radio, indie shit was literally I'm gonna tell you about this guy you need to hear about and then you're gonna go to Tower Records and you're gonna buy that fucking album.
01:24:56.000 Well dudes would try to sell their cassettes on the streets in New York.
01:24:58.000 They still do that shit and it's like fam, nobody has a CD player.
01:25:01.000 You need to chill out, like step it up, like give me a link.
01:25:04.000 Do they even make cars with CD players anymore?
01:25:08.000 No, it's done.
01:25:09.000 But they just do that because Swedish people...
01:25:11.000 How quick did that change?
01:25:12.000 That changed so quick.
01:25:14.000 Dude, I remember it.
01:25:16.000 That changed so quick.
01:25:18.000 Yeah, what is it called?
01:25:19.000 CP... What is it?
01:25:20.000 What were those players?
01:25:23.000 CP4 players or some shit?
01:25:24.000 MP3. MP3 players.
01:25:26.000 Bro!
01:25:30.000 I wonder if we're living in the craziest change.
01:25:33.000 What can you compare our change with the internet to?
01:25:38.000 Is it industrial revolution?
01:25:41.000 What piece of technology changed society in the way that the internet has changed us in our lifetime?
01:25:47.000 I don't think there's anything that's comparable because I think everything is kind of exponential.
01:25:52.000 I think everything that gets invented builds on other things that get invented.
01:25:58.000 More things get invented because of it.
01:26:00.000 And then it reaches this crazy point where we're at now where you have this computer program that seems to be the most intelligent being that's ever existed.
01:26:10.000 It seems to be able to answer questions about anything.
01:26:13.000 So then the question becomes, when does it have questions of its own?
01:26:20.000 That's the real question.
01:26:21.000 When does this thing just decide, like, What are you guys doing?
01:26:26.000 What are you doing?
01:26:27.000 This fucking culture you have is nonsense.
01:26:30.000 You have a dead man in a dunce running the greatest military the world has ever known.
01:26:35.000 And everybody just like dances around and pretends everything's fine.
01:26:39.000 And as long as we have a guy with a beard wearing a dress.
01:26:44.000 Bro, imagine ChatGPT came out during COVID and was like, I think most people will be alright.
01:26:50.000 Yeah.
01:26:51.000 Like, imagine AI steps in and interferes with narrative and agenda.
01:26:58.000 Yeah.
01:26:59.000 Ooh, that's dangerous.
01:27:00.000 It's very dangerous because it's already doing it.
01:27:03.000 There's questions that you ask ChatGPT to do, and it'll do it.
01:27:08.000 Like, it'll mock a bunch of different religious figures, but it will not mock Muhammad.
01:27:15.000 Because ChatGPT knows.
01:27:17.000 ChatGPT He wouldn't write a joke in the style of Shane Gillis.
01:27:21.000 No.
01:27:21.000 It said, yeah, it didn't want to...
01:27:24.000 It's something about...
01:27:25.000 It didn't want to be funny?
01:27:26.000 ...some of his materials was offensive or something like that.
01:27:29.000 I mean, it basically has...
01:27:32.000 A very non-nuanced and non-comprehensive view.
01:27:37.000 It is cool to see what's happening with Shane and the success that Shane is having.
01:27:44.000 Bro, he's undeniable.
01:27:45.000 There's justice, man.
01:27:47.000 He's undeniable.
01:27:48.000 There's justice, man.
01:27:48.000 He's so good.
01:27:49.000 However good he was back then when SNL got canceled.
01:27:54.000 He's on another level now.
01:27:57.000 He's on another level.
01:27:58.000 It's one of those things that's like, that's why I love the internet.
01:28:01.000 That's why, I mean, we could talk about TikTok and we could talk about all these other things, but there are these amazing success stories that come from it and they make me have a positive attitude towards it.
01:28:12.000 Yeah.
01:28:13.000 You know?
01:28:14.000 Because...
01:28:15.000 Yeah, without an outlet for him to express himself and, like, just do great comedy and just be hilarious...
01:28:23.000 Right.
01:28:23.000 People just fall in line with the narrative that existed.
01:28:26.000 Imagine if we're talking about a time...
01:28:29.000 Well, obviously this kind of came about because of podcasts, right?
01:28:32.000 So it's hard to imagine that.
01:28:34.000 But if it was less access, say if podcasts weren't the way they are now, there could be a moment where that's the end of his life.
01:28:43.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:28:44.000 Yeah, this is like 1985 and they put that all over the news and it was this thing.
01:28:49.000 Look at Lenny.
01:28:50.000 What happened with Lenny?
01:28:51.000 Like a narrative got set in place with Lenny?
01:28:53.000 And I don't think that Lenny in the end of his life, if I'm not mistaken, was living lavish with all this money.
01:29:00.000 No.
01:29:00.000 It was a difficult...
01:29:03.000 Fees.
01:29:03.000 And it was a different world, because the money that he would get would just be from live gigs.
01:29:07.000 And I don't think they did, like, big arenas, right?
01:29:11.000 So it's like, you know, he's traveling a lot, and he's making some money, but he also has exorbitant legal costs.
01:29:17.000 Yeah.
01:29:17.000 He would go on stage with the transcripts of...
01:29:20.000 You ever seen the videos of him going on stage?
01:29:22.000 And reading what happened in the court proceedings?
01:29:23.000 He would read the trial transcripts on stage.
01:29:26.000 And then the lawyer says...
01:29:28.000 And he would go into his thing, and it wasn't funny at all.
01:29:32.000 Oh, it's not funny.
01:29:33.000 At all.
01:29:34.000 There was nothing funny about it.
01:29:35.000 It was...
01:29:36.000 People were...
01:29:36.000 They were so bored.
01:29:38.000 They didn't know what to do.
01:29:39.000 He was so obsessed with his case that he thought he could just talk about his case in front of everybody and be interesting.
01:29:45.000 I think...
01:29:47.000 I've thought about this recently, about the importance of having a comedic North Star and a version of comedy that you think is the highest version that exists and following that.
01:29:59.000 I think if you don't have that, you succumb to the will of the audience.
01:30:08.000 And that can be dangerous because your confidence is dependent on them and not the version of art you think is the greatest.
01:30:19.000 I just wonder, early on, did you have a guy who was like, this is the highest form of the art?
01:30:25.000 This is the North Star?
01:30:26.000 I like what you're saying.
01:30:28.000 I do.
01:30:30.000 I think there's probably multiple North Stars, though, always.
01:30:34.000 Because there's certain styles that always interested me in a different way.
01:30:40.000 Like, I would decide that one guy was the funniest guy, and then I'd see someone that was totally different.
01:30:46.000 And I'd be like, oh my god, he's so good.
01:30:48.000 Maybe he's the best guy.
01:30:50.000 Holy shit!
01:30:51.000 You know, it'd be like Sam Kinison, or it'd be Richard Jenny, or, you know...
01:30:56.000 When you think about...
01:30:59.000 North Stars.
01:31:01.000 I think the idea is a great idea.
01:31:04.000 The highest expression.
01:31:06.000 But I don't necessarily think there's just one.
01:31:09.000 I think it's really a community thing.
01:31:11.000 And I think if you're around a bunch of guys like Attell or Shane Gillis or you or, you know, if you're around these Ari Shafirs and fucking Mark Normans.
01:31:23.000 Yeah.
01:31:24.000 If you're around these guys, oh, Tim Dillon, if you're around those guys all the time, they're fucking murdering.
01:31:31.000 They're going up and slaying, and you're all vibing off each other, and you're all having fun, and you go up together.
01:31:38.000 It's like...
01:31:40.000 Think when comics see that like if you're say if you're a comic that's starting out and you see like the way we roll I think you'll see like if you just be true to the art just true to the thing I just yeah, I get concerned when people Because I think that a lot of times,
01:31:58.000 and I'm sure this is in every industry, but comedics are drawn to what is successful, right?
01:32:03.000 So they're like, okay, if interviewing people on the street is successful, I'll try that.
01:32:06.000 Or if podcasting is successful, I'll try that.
01:32:08.000 Or if posting clips is successful, I'll try that.
01:32:11.000 Of course.
01:32:12.000 And that's a normal thing.
01:32:14.000 But I think it's important within that to have a version that you think is the most pure.
01:32:20.000 Even if other people think you're wrong.
01:32:22.000 There are people who like certain types of comedy, That are different than the version I love.
01:32:27.000 But I had a version that I thought was the best.
01:32:29.000 And as long as I was being true to that, I was happy with what I did.
01:32:35.000 I was competing with that.
01:32:37.000 Not competing with...
01:32:38.000 Let's say somebody went up and they did a bunch of really woke jokes and they got fucking claps and applause, whatever.
01:32:44.000 I could be fine not doing that because I was like, I know what the best is.
01:32:49.000 Now, I might be wrong in other people's minds.
01:32:51.000 I don't give a fuck.
01:32:52.000 But I had an idea.
01:32:53.000 And that allowed me to, like, do the comedy that I did in a time...
01:32:58.000 I mean, you remember when it was like you couldn't do offensive jokes.
01:33:02.000 I mean, you were doing it.
01:33:03.000 There was a few of us doing it.
01:33:04.000 But, like, a lot of people were like, okay, I need to get on Comedy Central.
01:33:06.000 I need to do whatever.
01:33:07.000 And I was like, why was I able to do that?
01:33:09.000 And I was like, oh, well, I just saw a version that I thought was the best.
01:33:12.000 And I was like, how can I honor that?
01:33:14.000 Because I think that's the best version, despite the fact that audiences were pissed or didn't like it or doing whatever.
01:33:20.000 And I don't know.
01:33:22.000 I just feel like that's important, like to have an almost like arrogance about the version of comedy that you love.
01:33:28.000 And there could be multiple versions, don't get me wrong.
01:33:30.000 Yeah.
01:33:32.000 I think that's a healthy thing to have as you come up doing comedy.
01:33:37.000 Because it will stop you from mimicking a thing that's successful just because you want success.
01:33:42.000 Right, right, right, right.
01:33:43.000 It will instill the purity.
01:33:46.000 Like, I don't see you going, oh, well, this is trendy, I'll try that.
01:33:51.000 Right?
01:33:52.000 Right.
01:33:53.000 And why is that?
01:33:53.000 Because you had a fucking idea of what was good.
01:33:57.000 Yeah, well, also, I don't understand that.
01:34:01.000 Like, when things are trendy, I'm like, why?
01:34:04.000 Like, what is it?
01:34:05.000 Like, what are you guys doing?
01:34:07.000 Why are you doing what everybody else is doing?
01:34:09.000 Why are your pants ripped?
01:34:11.000 Why are your pants ripped?
01:34:14.000 You buying pants that are ripped on purpose?
01:34:16.000 The fuck are you doing?
01:34:18.000 Look at me.
01:34:19.000 Look at me.
01:34:19.000 No.
01:34:20.000 No.
01:34:21.000 No.
01:34:23.000 Stop it.
01:34:26.000 You're so interesting with your ripped pants.
01:34:29.000 Thank God your pants look destroyed.
01:34:33.000 What the fuck are we doing?
01:34:34.000 What are we doing?
01:34:34.000 I'm not going on that.
01:34:36.000 That's what I think is important.
01:34:37.000 To have that fucking unbelievable, almost like religious arrogance about a version of comedy.
01:34:45.000 And I don't care if it's one-liners.
01:34:46.000 I don't care if it's stories.
01:34:48.000 I don't care what it is.
01:34:49.000 But I think allowing yourself to do that will make the most pure, authentic comedy for you.
01:34:53.000 I think so.
01:34:55.000 I think so.
01:34:56.000 And that's what I want to see.
01:34:57.000 I think you also have to be flexible.
01:35:00.000 You also have to, like, not be committed to, like, the way you're doing it.
01:35:08.000 And just be open.
01:35:09.000 Because sometimes, like, it's one of the best ways to create new jokes.
01:35:14.000 Like, sometimes a whole new way of looking at things comes about if you're not, like, committed to, like, one particular mindset.
01:35:21.000 Yeah.
01:35:21.000 Not ideology, but form.
01:35:24.000 For me, it was always like I saw people that were really authentic, and I really loved that.
01:35:29.000 And I was like, oh, that guy's being really authentic.
01:35:32.000 And I didn't feel like he's lying to me.
01:35:36.000 I feel like I could kind of trust him, and I feel like he was talking in a way that he would talk to me if he was offstage.
01:35:42.000 And like...
01:35:44.000 I don't know.
01:35:44.000 It's an art form.
01:35:45.000 It is.
01:35:46.000 It's an art form to doing that.
01:35:47.000 That's what's so fascinating about this whole thing.
01:35:50.000 There really is an art form to doing that.
01:35:53.000 We're so lucky we're existing in a time where people value it.
01:35:58.000 Right.
01:35:59.000 Because there's been like bubbles.
01:36:00.000 And were you around when it popped?
01:36:03.000 I came onto the scene, I did my first open mic in 1988. So in 1988, the bubble was kind of already popping.
01:36:13.000 But there was still a lot of work.
01:36:16.000 What happened was, something happened.
01:36:19.000 Something happened in the 1980s where people could just talk like a comedian.
01:36:25.000 They didn't have any punchlines.
01:36:28.000 And some of these guys got pretty far.
01:36:31.000 There's this one guy, I don't want to mention his name, but I would bring comedians around.
01:36:36.000 I want you to watch this.
01:36:38.000 I want you to watch this because there is nothing there.
01:36:41.000 He's not saying anything.
01:36:42.000 It's fucking 100% nonsense, but he talks like a comedian.
01:36:49.000 And it was so mundane.
01:36:52.000 His points were so boring.
01:36:54.000 And I took a couple of comics.
01:36:56.000 We're sitting in the back of the Laugh Factory.
01:36:57.000 I go, I just want you to watch this guy.
01:36:59.000 Just watch this guy.
01:37:00.000 Holy shit.
01:37:01.000 I go, yeah, yeah.
01:37:03.000 You could do that in the 80s.
01:37:04.000 And then this guy was like surviving in the early 90s.
01:37:08.000 And then it just...
01:37:09.000 Like one of those skeletons that turns into dust when it gets like a vampire.
01:37:15.000 When the sun comes out.
01:37:17.000 That's what it's like.
01:37:18.000 He just went away.
01:37:20.000 But I remember he was like fucking arrogant.
01:37:24.000 Yeah.
01:37:24.000 Like one of these arrogant weirdos who would like wear suits.
01:37:27.000 Yeah.
01:37:27.000 And he would do this really clean comedy, this clunky, boring...
01:37:32.000 But he thought it was the best comedy.
01:37:34.000 And he thought that we were talking about silly things, using bad words.
01:37:41.000 Ooh, naughty.
01:37:42.000 But there was a time where people were so excited to see comedy.
01:37:46.000 All you had to do is sound like a comedian.
01:37:49.000 And talk about things comedians talked about.
01:37:53.000 And you could make a living.
01:37:54.000 So this is...
01:37:56.000 I don't know.
01:37:56.000 This is why I'm concerned about now.
01:37:58.000 It's like, what do we do to uphold the standard?
01:38:02.000 Because we're in a bubble.
01:38:04.000 I've seen hot girls doing comedy.
01:38:07.000 Good.
01:38:08.000 Let them do comedy.
01:38:09.000 I hope they're good.
01:38:10.000 I hope they're good too.
01:38:11.000 It's not a bubble.
01:38:13.000 It's not a bubble.
01:38:14.000 Live comedy is the best way to see comedy.
01:38:17.000 And just by nature of the fucking sheer numbers of people, there can't be a bubble.
01:38:22.000 No, I'm not talking about bubble because I think that being funny is social currency now with having a funny caption or a funny meme or a funny post.
01:38:30.000 I think people really value funny now.
01:38:31.000 I think that's why it's there.
01:38:32.000 And then we're the funniest people, so obviously there's going to be a value for us, right?
01:38:37.000 But I do think that more people will want to try.
01:38:40.000 I wish everybody tried stand-up so they knew what it was.
01:38:44.000 But I do think that it's important that what we were saying earlier about a club or a scene.
01:38:50.000 How do we hold that?
01:38:52.000 What is the standard?
01:38:53.000 And how do we maintain that standard?
01:38:54.000 Because maintaining that standard is what maintains that scene.
01:38:57.000 It maintains that expectation, even for the audience.
01:39:03.000 I'm curious.
01:39:04.000 What do you think about that?
01:39:06.000 Well, it's an individual's choice.
01:39:09.000 And then it's a community's choice in terms of like, you know, if like If you're in a group of comics and one person starts doing something that sucks, or they start doing something that really bums out the audience,
01:39:25.000 or maybe they're doing a premise that's not that original.
01:39:29.000 If that happens, that is a giant problem.
01:39:31.000 That's like a bunch of cells encountering a virus.
01:39:39.000 That's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:39:42.000 You can't let that virus proliferate.
01:39:44.000 What is that?
01:39:45.000 What is that?
01:39:45.000 And occasionally, people will go crazy.
01:39:48.000 This is also part of the problem of being a comedian.
01:39:52.000 Like, what percentage of people stay sane from birth to death?
01:39:56.000 It's not 100. It's not 100. So sometimes people go crazy and these people were amongst you before they were crazy and then they're deep in and now all of a sudden you got a fucking complete lunatic that's in your cycle of friends that thinks that the CIA is writing jokes for him.
01:40:15.000 And that they're ruining his punchlines.
01:40:17.000 You're like, oh no, what do I do?
01:40:19.000 I've been friends with guys and saw them go insane.
01:40:23.000 Like, what do you do about that?
01:40:25.000 Yeah.
01:40:26.000 You ever babysit that guy all day?
01:40:27.000 Can you bring that guy back?
01:40:31.000 You might kill him while you're trying.
01:40:33.000 Really?
01:40:33.000 Yeah.
01:40:34.000 You might give him like a fucking coffee cup filled with acid.
01:40:39.000 Mushrooms.
01:40:41.000 Mushrooms heals all.
01:40:43.000 Let's let mushrooms heal all.
01:40:45.000 Yeah.
01:40:47.000 I mean, maybe, I don't know.
01:40:49.000 I mean, maybe people go crazy and they come back.
01:40:51.000 I'm sure if they go crazy, I know people have come back from mental illness before.
01:40:58.000 It's not like it's insurmountable, but it depends upon the case, right?
01:41:01.000 Yeah.
01:41:02.000 I don't know.
01:41:03.000 We're just in this, like, weird time right now where, like, I think it's good because I remember the scrutiny of doing, like, edgy jokes before.
01:41:10.000 And I don't feel like that exists now.
01:41:13.000 I think we blew that shit out.
01:41:14.000 I think we did.
01:41:15.000 I think we blew that shit out.
01:41:16.000 I think it's also the sheer numbers of people that listen to our podcast, it's like, hey, we're not alone.
01:41:22.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:41:23.000 If the majority likes it, it wins, right?
01:41:25.000 Yeah, we're not alone.
01:41:26.000 You guys are wrong.
01:41:28.000 Yeah.
01:41:29.000 You're trapped in this ideology that you think jokes have to reflect your actual feelings about things.
01:41:37.000 No.
01:41:37.000 That's not the game we're playing.
01:41:39.000 They reflect the things that we feel that are fucked up.
01:41:41.000 Yeah.
01:41:41.000 That's it.
01:41:42.000 We're just trying, and we're trying to be really funny.
01:41:45.000 Bro.
01:41:45.000 Like, you're missing the point.
01:41:47.000 And if you're attacking us, that's...
01:41:49.000 Bro.
01:41:50.000 I, uh...
01:41:52.000 Having to explain to Yomi Park the joke that...
01:41:55.000 Bro, bro, bro, bro.
01:41:58.000 Let me just tell everybody.
01:41:59.000 Let me tell everybody when Andrew and I, like, I will text him occasionally.
01:42:04.000 Yonmi, please, I apologize.
01:42:06.000 You're a lovely woman and I really enjoy talking to you.
01:42:09.000 This is not disrespectful.
01:42:10.000 Not disrespectful at all, but I would text him photos of Yonmi Park and then a photo of a weightlifter.
01:42:19.000 The fucking emoji.
01:42:21.000 The weightlifter emoji, the heavies.
01:42:24.000 So, Yon Lee's coming on the podcast.
01:42:27.000 I know!
01:42:28.000 But I had to have a combo with her before.
01:42:30.000 I had to tell her about the heavies, right?
01:42:34.000 I didn't explain it right.
01:42:35.000 The first time she was on my podcast, I was talking to Andrew about it, but he was like, yo, she got the heavies.
01:42:43.000 So, what I said...
01:42:45.000 What I said was...
01:42:46.000 We're talking about a woman who survived North Korea.
01:42:51.000 She escaped North Korea when she was 13. She tells this horrific story.
01:42:57.000 Horrific story of her journey to get to America.
01:43:02.000 And then she's like, yo, she got the heaviest son.
01:43:05.000 I said on the pod, as a joke, I go, bro, I go, I go, I go, bro, I was about to start feeding my wife rats.
01:43:15.000 We're good.
01:43:20.000 So Yomi's coming on the pod, right?
01:43:23.000 And I go, I can't let her come on the pod without knowing the joke.
01:43:27.000 I feel bad, like I want her to be inside, right?
01:43:30.000 So I called her, and there's a phone convo of me trying to explain to Yomi what the heavies means.
01:43:38.000 So I go, hey, I'm so grateful that you're coming on.
01:43:41.000 I just want you to know something because you're inside on the joke here.
01:43:43.000 I don't want anything to be making fun of you.
01:43:45.000 I just want you to be inside.
01:43:47.000 But have you seen people putting the weight lift emoji underneath your Instagram?
01:43:53.000 And she goes, she's so sweet.
01:43:56.000 She goes, yeah, I thought that they thought I was getting fat.
01:44:02.000 She thought that they were saying that she was fat the whole time.
01:44:05.000 What?
01:44:06.000 And she's coming from this country where they're not feeding her at all.
01:44:08.000 And finally she's in a place where she can eat food and she's getting fucking fat.
01:44:12.000 Oh my god.
01:44:15.000 Imagine being her and think, you've met her, she's so frail.
01:44:20.000 She's tiny, bro.
01:44:21.000 She's so tiny.
01:44:21.000 Not all of us.
01:44:24.000 Imagine thinking that she's fat, bro.
01:44:27.000 So I go, no, no, no, it's not that.
01:44:29.000 And I'm stuttering.
01:44:31.000 I'm like the most uncomfortable.
01:44:33.000 I explained it.
01:44:35.000 Is it on video?
01:44:36.000 Yes, I have video.
01:44:36.000 I'll show you.
01:44:37.000 And I go, I just, well, you know how you have kind of like sneaky fat tits and...
01:44:54.000 I'll show you.
01:44:56.000 Look at that.
01:44:56.000 That's crazy.
01:44:57.000 That's crazy.
01:44:58.000 That's crazy.
01:44:59.000 Lovely lady.
01:45:00.000 Amazing lady.
01:45:01.000 Listen, so I go, but we were just talking about that.
01:45:07.000 We call those the heavies and it's just like a funny inside joke.
01:45:10.000 And she goes, oh, that's great.
01:45:12.000 That's awesome.
01:45:13.000 That's so funny.
01:45:13.000 That's so funny.
01:45:14.000 Blah, blah, blah.
01:45:15.000 She thinks it's hilarious.
01:45:17.000 And then comes in the pod and we joke around it.
01:45:19.000 And when we were joking around with her, she said an interesting thing.
01:45:21.000 She goes, wow, I've never had anybody make fun of me to my face.
01:45:27.000 And then she goes, freedom is amazing.
01:45:30.000 Whoa.
01:45:31.000 And it was a cool thing.
01:45:32.000 She goes, with her story, nobody makes fun of her.
01:45:35.000 Nobody teases.
01:45:35.000 Right, of course.
01:45:36.000 We weren't making fun of her story.
01:45:37.000 We're just bossing balls and teasing.
01:45:39.000 But she had never had that happen, at least on camera.
01:45:43.000 And even that teasing is about an attractive attribute.
01:45:47.000 We were so—we wanted to make sure she was—I mean, we literally have the weight.
01:45:54.000 There's a picture where she's holding.
01:45:57.000 Oh my god, that's so ridiculous.
01:46:00.000 Her holding onto that thing that says a thousand pounds.
01:46:07.000 Is this too inside?
01:46:09.000 Because you and I, we go back and forth, brother.
01:46:11.000 This is culture now, bro.
01:46:14.000 Dude, we see people post randomly that have no clue we've spoken about it.
01:46:17.000 Just randomly call big boobs the heavies.
01:46:20.000 They have no clue that this happened here.
01:46:22.000 Did you invent that term, the heavies?
01:46:24.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:46:24.000 I just call it the heavies.
01:46:26.000 But was that the first time you said it when you saw her?
01:46:28.000 Yeah, probably when I said it to you.
01:46:30.000 Oh my god!
01:46:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:31.000 Bro, that's all I call him now.
01:46:33.000 I mean, that's it.
01:46:34.000 That's all I call him now.
01:46:35.000 People call it that.
01:46:35.000 That's culture, man.
01:46:36.000 Dude.
01:46:37.000 That's culture.
01:46:38.000 We were talking about this dude with his girlfriend.
01:46:41.000 Like, why she bosses him around.
01:46:42.000 I go, yo, she got the heavies.
01:46:43.000 She got the heavies, bro.
01:46:44.000 Like, you could boss around if you got the heavies.
01:46:46.000 It's different.
01:46:46.000 Yeah, like, she's a little extra hot.
01:46:48.000 Oh, yeah.
01:46:49.000 The Nancy Pelosi's.
01:46:51.000 The Nancy Pelosi's.
01:46:52.000 Nancy's got the heavies.
01:46:53.000 The heavies are crazy.
01:46:54.000 Yo, I got to pee so bad.
01:46:56.000 Let's take a piss.
01:46:56.000 Let me take a little pee break.
01:46:58.000 Yeah.
01:46:58.000 Wait, what were we just saying?
01:46:59.000 Oh, you were talking about flow state.
01:47:01.000 No, no, yonmi.
01:47:02.000 Oh, yonmi.
01:47:03.000 Yeah, yonmi.
01:47:05.000 Bro, there's a funny thing that happens, like having a brain that jumps to jokes all the time.
01:47:16.000 Is like...
01:47:17.000 Because there's a moment like...
01:47:18.000 You know, I was listening to the Yomi story and she was telling this...
01:47:21.000 I mean, just this immensely tragic story.
01:47:25.000 Right?
01:47:26.000 Like, the most tragic thing ever.
01:47:28.000 But she was talking about this thing where like...
01:47:31.000 Her mom got sold to mentally retarded farmers.
01:47:35.000 Yeah.
01:47:39.000 And...
01:47:39.000 It was like...
01:47:41.000 My brain...
01:47:45.000 I wanted...
01:47:46.000 I didn't say it, but I wanted to know what crop can retards farm?
01:47:56.000 Well, it might not be a crop.
01:47:57.000 It might be animals.
01:47:59.000 But a farmer...
01:48:00.000 Oh, I guess farmers do have animals.
01:48:01.000 Yeah.
01:48:03.000 I just needed to know, but I couldn't ask it without it seemingly being insulted.
01:48:08.000 Because it seems like I'm insulting, but I'm also like...
01:48:10.000 I just want to know the crop...
01:48:14.000 And that's just like...
01:48:15.000 Do you want to imagine like your life being at its lowest point?
01:48:20.000 Like someone sold you to mentally handicapped people who are farmers?
01:48:28.000 Yeah.
01:48:29.000 And you're out in the woods somewhere.
01:48:31.000 There's no cell phones.
01:48:32.000 There's no electricity.
01:48:33.000 Yeah.
01:48:35.000 And you just have to exist.
01:48:36.000 Almost like...
01:48:38.000 You know, I mean, it's not...
01:48:41.000 You're not a caveman.
01:48:44.000 You're living in modern times.
01:48:48.000 Yeah.
01:48:49.000 You're living in a time where there's electricity and televisions and movies and probably living in a time where Rambo was on the screen.
01:48:58.000 And at that same time...
01:49:01.000 You are the property of mentally handicapped people that are farmers in the middle of nowhere in China.
01:49:09.000 Yeah.
01:49:10.000 Like, holy shit, man.
01:49:11.000 Yeah.
01:49:12.000 How the fuck do you get out of that?
01:49:14.000 That's the kind of conversation I want to have with those Republican pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps people.
01:49:21.000 But you feel like you could escape from mentally retarded farmers though, right?
01:49:24.000 Some of them are strong.
01:49:26.000 But what if you gave them some ice cream or something and they were really focused on that?
01:49:32.000 You can't escape from your dog, man.
01:49:34.000 Your dog's stupid.
01:49:37.000 People are way fucking smarter.
01:49:43.000 Even dumb people are smarter than a dog.
01:49:47.000 Bro, they're gonna keep you around.
01:49:52.000 They'll chain you up.
01:49:54.000 You'd be like a pet kangaroo they have in their house.
01:50:00.000 You know what's the most fucked up statistic?
01:50:02.000 What?
01:50:03.000 Is that there's more slavery today than there was before slavery was abolished in America.
01:50:08.000 But what is that?
01:50:09.000 Population density or something?
01:50:11.000 It's probably that, but it's also like what we consider slavery.
01:50:17.000 There's places where you're not a slave, but you really can't leave.
01:50:22.000 So it's like indentured servitude.
01:50:25.000 Or like cobalt mining.
01:50:26.000 You don't have any food.
01:50:28.000 Where are you going to go?
01:50:31.000 Where does our guilt extend?
01:50:34.000 Like, if we outsource all the things that we're guilty about, does it leave at our border?
01:50:39.000 Never.
01:50:40.000 It never leaves.
01:50:41.000 You have a phone that's made by slaves.
01:50:43.000 But do you feel guilty about it?
01:50:44.000 Yes.
01:50:45.000 You do?
01:50:45.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:50:46.000 If there was a company that came along that was like, if Samsung said, hey, we're going to make all of our phones...
01:50:53.000 Cruelty-free.
01:50:54.000 Cruelty-free.
01:50:54.000 We're going to get all of our cobalt from this place where we can ensure you that there's nothing there and no Chinese factory workers making 16 cents a day or whatever the fuck they make.
01:51:06.000 If there was a phone that was made in America that cost twice as much, I'd buy it in a fucking heartbeat.
01:51:14.000 But there isn't.
01:51:15.000 There isn't.
01:51:16.000 And because there isn't, what do we do?
01:51:19.000 We put up with the guilt?
01:51:20.000 Well, they fucked up.
01:51:22.000 They fucked us, okay?
01:51:24.000 And to be connected to something where you absolutely need it, but it's morally reprehensible at its very core.
01:51:37.000 Like, imagine how many people have tweeted self-righteous things on a phone that was made by slaves.
01:51:46.000 That's the reality of these phones.
01:51:48.000 And Apple's one of the richest fucking companies on planet Earth.
01:51:54.000 I don't know what the logistics would be involved in making a phone in America with skilled labor that gets paid a fair wage and gets health insurance and union benefits and all that stuff.
01:52:06.000 But whatever it is, I feel like I would like to pay that.
01:52:10.000 Do we have COBOL? And if I don't have the money, I'll buy less phones.
01:52:15.000 I have a fucking iPhone 11. One of my phone lines is an iPhone 11. It's great.
01:52:20.000 It still works.
01:52:21.000 Still seems so normal when I fire it up.
01:52:24.000 It doesn't seem any different to me.
01:52:25.000 But do we have the mineral?
01:52:27.000 Like, do we have cobalt in America that we can mine?
01:52:29.000 I don't think we do in America.
01:52:30.000 That's the tricky thing.
01:52:31.000 I don't know.
01:52:32.000 Is cobalt available in America?
01:52:34.000 I thought it was only available in like the Congo.
01:52:36.000 Well, that's where the primary source is for sure.
01:52:39.000 But I think there's at least one other place on Earth.
01:52:42.000 I don't remember correctly.
01:52:45.000 Ooh, Mexico.
01:52:46.000 Let's go.
01:52:48.000 Mexico's this shit, dude.
01:52:49.000 Listen, we have a problem with the cartels.
01:52:51.000 Let's just, like, Mexico.
01:52:53.000 Do we have a problem with them?
01:52:56.000 Do we have a problem with the cartels, or are we working with the cartels?
01:53:00.000 Well, for sure, someone's working with them.
01:53:02.000 I mean, it's not just, like, 100% Mexican citizens that are sneaking across here and doing all this business.
01:53:08.000 Someone's working with them.
01:53:12.000 Goddamn, what's wrong with my throat?
01:53:17.000 Yeah, someone for sure is working with them.
01:53:19.000 But it's not good.
01:53:20.000 It's not good to have this, like, fake scenario.
01:53:23.000 You have a fake scenario.
01:53:25.000 Say, drugs are bad.
01:53:26.000 If you make drugs illegal, no one's gonna do drugs.
01:53:29.000 Like, your math sucks.
01:53:31.000 Okay?
01:53:32.000 Because that's not the correct math.
01:53:33.000 The correct math is, if you make drugs illegal, then illegal people sell drugs.
01:53:38.000 You fucking asshole.
01:53:40.000 And so now you've propped up a multi-billion dollar industry south of the border filled with ruthless murderers.
01:53:48.000 Idaho.
01:53:49.000 It's the only cobalt mine in the United States and it's going to remain so.
01:53:53.000 Okay, so we have some cobalt here.
01:53:54.000 I'm sure they could find some more.
01:53:56.000 Okay, maybe we have just enough for us.
01:53:58.000 How about just for us?
01:53:59.000 Let the world make their own moral decisions.
01:54:02.000 Maybe if we legitimately are the moral high ground, we could encourage the rest of the world to realize the same thing we were talking about earlier, about having too much money.
01:54:13.000 Just don't...
01:54:15.000 At a certain point in time, you have to just figure out what's best for everybody.
01:54:21.000 And in this situation, if I was the king of the world, if I was the king of America, I would say, how about we only make Yeah.
01:54:45.000 Someone working a fucking cobalt mine would get.
01:54:48.000 Give them a great wage.
01:54:50.000 Like, make it so that this is an even exchange.
01:54:52.000 It's not a negative exchange.
01:54:54.000 Protect them from all the...
01:54:55.000 And if we knew that the cobalt we're getting on our phone, you don't have to worry.
01:54:59.000 These guys make $100,000 a year.
01:55:01.000 They're fucking well paid.
01:55:03.000 They live in a great community.
01:55:05.000 Okay, great.
01:55:06.000 Now I don't feel bad about my phone.
01:55:08.000 But if you watch those videos from Foxconn, you see those fucking poor people.
01:55:13.000 Slaving away all day long in this sweatshop 16 hours a day.
01:55:18.000 They have bunks there and shit.
01:55:19.000 They put nets around the building to keep people from jumping off.
01:55:22.000 That is so wild.
01:55:24.000 Instead of changing the conditions these people have to work.
01:55:26.000 They won't let you kill you.
01:55:28.000 That's crazy.
01:55:29.000 They're like, get back to work.
01:55:30.000 They'll grab you by your hair, fucking drag you back down onto the floor.
01:55:34.000 You probably owe them money or something.
01:55:36.000 I mean, I don't know how they fucking do that.
01:55:39.000 Yeah, it's a tricky one.
01:55:40.000 You would want everything you use in your everyday life to have a clean connection to ethically sourced materials...
01:55:51.000 You know, great relationships with workers, no greedy corporations that are fucking over the environment.
01:55:59.000 Everybody would want that.
01:56:00.000 I think they'd want that if they had excess.
01:56:03.000 I think most people are, like, trying to pay their fucking rent.
01:56:06.000 For sure.
01:56:06.000 And they're like, alright, if this is a little bit cheaper, I have a little bit more money for my family, my parents who are sick, and my kids.
01:56:12.000 Like, I can buy them another fucking baseball mitt.
01:56:14.000 And so they can't even consider people in the Congo.
01:56:17.000 And I think that's the tricky thing where, like, they know.
01:56:21.000 It's almost like the Amazon situation where it's like most people probably know that Amazon might not be the best situation for, like, mom-and-pop businesses, but it's so convenient to them and it's so much cheaper and it's so efficient that they just go, all right, well, this is great for me.
01:56:37.000 Yeah.
01:56:37.000 Yeah, there's that.
01:56:40.000 Yeah.
01:56:41.000 It is interesting, but I think that...
01:56:44.000 In those circumstances, when there's people that just can't afford to buy whatever it is, ethically sourced and organically grown, there should be other options.
01:56:56.000 But if there was a clear option that someone could take...
01:56:59.000 If a phone costs...
01:57:03.000 1,000 bucks.
01:57:03.000 1,200 bucks, right?
01:57:05.000 This article I just looked up as saying that cell phones are not what's driving the cobalt price rise.
01:57:12.000 It is...
01:57:13.000 A price rise.
01:57:14.000 It's batteries.
01:57:15.000 It's car batteries.
01:57:16.000 Well, yeah, well, that was the...
01:57:17.000 Like Teslas and shit?
01:57:18.000 But that is what they use them in cell phones.
01:57:21.000 It's like lithium ion batteries.
01:57:23.000 8 grams of cobalt is in a cell phone.
01:57:26.000 And how much is in, like, a 9-volt battery?
01:57:30.000 How much...
01:57:34.000 I don't know if it's a 9-volt, but the rechargeable battery.
01:57:37.000 That's okay.
01:57:37.000 I see your point.
01:57:38.000 You're right.
01:57:41.000 It's everything electronics.
01:57:43.000 We're thinking about it as cell phones, but that's because cell phones are the primary method of communication.
01:57:49.000 Just how many podcasts are listened to on cell phones?
01:57:53.000 All of them?
01:57:54.000 Or is it like 90%?
01:57:57.000 Imagine if cell phones were made illegal and people still had to get podcasts.
01:58:01.000 Done.
01:58:02.000 The majority of modern electric vehicles use these battery chemistries and lithium nickel manganese cobalt oxide, which have a cathode containing 10-20% cobalt.
01:58:18.000 And what was the cell phone?
01:58:20.000 Eight grams.
01:58:21.000 Eight grams.
01:58:22.000 But that's a different measurement unit, right?
01:58:24.000 One of them's percentage, one of them's grams.
01:58:27.000 Either way, I mean, it's kind of for everything with lithium-ion batteries.
01:58:33.000 It does something to stabilize it.
01:58:34.000 You know what it's like?
01:58:35.000 It's almost like asking 4 to 30 kilograms for a UV... 5%.
01:58:40.000 Okay, cell structure requires a minimum amount of cobalt, about 5%, and less lower energy density.
01:58:45.000 Lithium-ion batteries without cobalt are used at the expense of performance.
01:58:50.000 A typical smartphone battery requires only 5 to 20 grams of cobalt, whereas an EV requires between 4 and 30 kilograms.
01:58:59.000 Whoa!
01:59:01.000 That's a lot more.
01:59:02.000 It's electric cars.
01:59:03.000 Electric cars are fucking up the environment.
01:59:08.000 Oh no.
01:59:09.000 Isn't that like, what a conundrum.
01:59:12.000 Life is funny.
01:59:13.000 I mean, it's not just the environment.
01:59:14.000 It's like, when I'm saying the environment, I'm like the frequency of the earth.
01:59:19.000 Yes.
01:59:20.000 You know, like you're, until somebody cleans that up, the minds, until somebody actually looks at it, like every electronic thing with lithium ion batteries is connected to this horrific crime against humanity.
01:59:33.000 Yeah.
01:59:33.000 What are we doing?
01:59:34.000 Nothing.
01:59:35.000 Nothing.
01:59:36.000 What?
01:59:38.000 All the chitter chatter, all the talk about equality and equity and helping and charity.
01:59:45.000 What about that?
01:59:46.000 We're all personally responsible.
01:59:49.000 Yeah, bro, this ain't a secret.
01:59:50.000 It's not like a fucking X marks a spot in a pirate map.
01:59:53.000 Nope.
01:59:54.000 Google.
01:59:54.000 Yeah, Google.
01:59:55.000 And I had Siddharth Kaur on my podcast.
01:59:58.000 We talked about it in front of fucking millions of people.
02:00:01.000 People know it's a thing.
02:00:03.000 They're not even talking about it.
02:00:05.000 They're not doing shit.
02:00:06.000 It's inconvenient.
02:00:07.000 It's too inconvenient to care about.
02:00:09.000 It's very inconvenient.
02:00:10.000 Yeah.
02:00:11.000 For all of us.
02:00:12.000 Yeah.
02:00:12.000 We're not going to stop using our phones.
02:00:14.000 Idaho Cell Phone Company.
02:00:16.000 You going to start it?
02:00:17.000 That should be the name of the company.
02:00:19.000 Idaho Cell Phone Company.
02:00:20.000 Dude, Idaho?
02:00:21.000 Because they mine cobalt.
02:00:26.000 If Apple was smart, they'd make a deal.
02:00:29.000 You could buy an iPhone, you could buy an iPhone Pro, iPhone Pro Max, you could buy that.
02:00:33.000 Or you could buy an Idaho cell phone company.
02:00:37.000 iPhone?
02:00:37.000 iPhone.
02:00:38.000 It costs $2,000, but it's made in fucking Idaho, and you get to see the photos of the people that work in the factory, and you know that everybody's getting paid well, and everybody has health insurance.
02:00:51.000 You know, you would do it.
02:00:53.000 Of course.
02:00:54.000 100%.
02:00:54.000 It would be a big status thing to have the Idaho cell phone company's iPhone.
02:00:59.000 Yes.
02:01:00.000 But that is good.
02:01:01.000 That is good.
02:01:02.000 We reward caring about other people.
02:01:05.000 100%.
02:01:05.000 We want that.
02:01:06.000 We want that.
02:01:08.000 I-C-C. I-C-C. Idaho Cell Phone Company.
02:01:13.000 This might happen.
02:01:14.000 Just old school, just a fucking...
02:01:16.000 Flat phone?
02:01:16.000 Like the state of Idaho, like the way it's on the map, like on the back, just says I-C-C. And everybody, you got an I-C-C? Oh, shit.
02:01:26.000 Cool, bro.
02:01:27.000 Helping out the environment.
02:01:29.000 Yeah.
02:01:30.000 Dude, this might be...
02:01:32.000 Dude, fuck a blue check.
02:01:34.000 Yeah, have your phones made by people who are getting paid to work.
02:01:40.000 That's it.
02:01:40.000 What a novel idea.
02:01:41.000 You get your own color text.
02:01:43.000 It's not blue, it's not green.
02:01:45.000 It's free.
02:01:46.000 It's freedom.
02:01:48.000 Right, would it be purple, like Prince?
02:01:50.000 Yeah.
02:01:50.000 You get purple text.
02:01:51.000 Purple text.
02:01:53.000 Right.
02:01:53.000 That's all they would have to do.
02:01:55.000 That's it.
02:01:55.000 Everybody would want a purple text.
02:01:57.000 Imagine a guy texts a girl with that purple text.
02:01:59.000 And she got a text back with her shitty green.
02:02:02.000 Oh.
02:02:03.000 No, it'd be the opposite.
02:02:04.000 No guy's gonna care if a girl has green.
02:02:06.000 It's like, I'll buy her another phone.
02:02:07.000 Yeah, we're gonna fuck them.
02:02:08.000 Yeah.
02:02:09.000 But we're gonna level them up.
02:02:11.000 Yeah.
02:02:11.000 We're going to make them carry on.
02:02:12.000 I think the more disturbing thing would be the woman who has purple.
02:02:15.000 That's intimidating.
02:02:16.000 And then the man has green.
02:02:16.000 You're hitting her with the green?
02:02:18.000 You're like, oh no, he hit me with an Android text.
02:02:21.000 It's easily interceptable.
02:02:22.000 I can't hit purple with green!
02:02:25.000 I'm not ready for this, girl!
02:02:27.000 Yeah, there's a lot of colors on my palate.
02:02:31.000 Yeah.
02:02:32.000 Isn't it funny?
02:02:33.000 The Android phone thing is very interesting.
02:02:35.000 They were joking around about it because Brian Simpson uses an Android phone and I have Android envy because my main phone is an iPhone but I have an Android phone too.
02:02:43.000 It's a good fucking phone.
02:02:45.000 There's things that suck though.
02:02:46.000 The fact that you can't send things through AirDrop.
02:02:49.000 AirDrop is big.
02:02:50.000 Well, that's what Apple does.
02:02:51.000 It creates the moat.
02:02:52.000 Yeah, and iMessage is big.
02:02:54.000 They're smart.
02:02:55.000 They're very smart.
02:02:55.000 They know what they're doing, man.
02:02:57.000 They're just so great at creating the moat and making everything so seamless for you.
02:03:01.000 But they were all calling Brian Simpson a peasant.
02:03:03.000 I'm like, bro, he's got a Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra.
02:03:07.000 That's a $1,400, $1,500 phone.
02:03:10.000 That's not like a cheap phone.
02:03:12.000 It's the same price as a really expensive iPhone.
02:03:15.000 It's the best Android phone you can get.
02:03:17.000 He's just stuck in a...
02:03:18.000 But once you started with Samsung, it was poor.
02:03:22.000 The thing is, it's like you're in a different little world.
02:03:25.000 Yeah, I'm in that world.
02:03:26.000 You're in a world...
02:03:28.000 Part of the narrative, I'm caught up in it and I know it's bullshit and I know it's not true and I know all the facts and I know all the pixels and all that kind of shit from the Samsung are better.
02:03:38.000 And I see those videos where Samsung compares it to an iPhone and it's way better in every different version of it.
02:03:43.000 And I'm still like, this is...
02:03:44.000 It's not way better.
02:03:46.000 It's marginally better.
02:03:47.000 Oh, I thought it's like...
02:03:48.000 The only thing that's way better is taking pictures of the moon, and it turns out it's not really taking pictures of the moon.
02:03:53.000 Dude, that's the best.
02:03:54.000 You're the best.
02:03:56.000 The best.
02:03:56.000 Dude, that's why you've got to appreciate nerds, man.
02:03:58.000 You've got to appreciate these guys who are going out there, fact-checking everything.
02:04:03.000 Bro, they took a photo of a blurry photo of the moon on a screen.
02:04:09.000 Okay, so first of all, Samsung was claiming that their phone can take 100x zoom pictures, and they proved it.
02:04:16.000 Well, it definitely can take 100x zoom pictures, but you have to understand, like, what it's doing with that moon shot is way stronger than 100x.
02:04:27.000 It's doing some shenanigans with artificial intelligence.
02:04:30.000 Right.
02:04:30.000 Because 100, if you do the 100 zoom on a galaxy ultra, it's a legitimate zoom.
02:04:37.000 It's not just things that it knows are going to be there, like the moon.
02:04:40.000 Because the moon, you know the moon doesn't turn?
02:04:42.000 Do you know that?
02:04:45.000 What do you mean, it doesn't turn?
02:04:46.000 The moon doesn't turn.
02:04:47.000 We turn, the moon is locked into our orbit, and we see the same side of the moon, always.
02:04:53.000 But we turn.
02:04:55.000 Yeah, but the moon turns with us.
02:04:56.000 So it turns at the exact same rate that we turn?
02:04:58.000 No, no, it follows us.
02:05:00.000 Ah, so we're getting the version of the moon at the same time.
02:05:04.000 Exactly.
02:05:05.000 Aren't we...
02:05:06.000 So, sun is here.
02:05:08.000 We are...
02:05:08.000 Pick up the skulls.
02:05:09.000 Yeah, so...
02:05:10.000 So, this is us.
02:05:13.000 Yeah.
02:05:14.000 Hold on, this is gonna be...
02:05:16.000 This is us.
02:05:17.000 Right?
02:05:18.000 Moon.
02:05:19.000 Yeah.
02:05:19.000 Moon is rotating around us.
02:05:21.000 We're rotating around the sun.
02:05:22.000 Exactly.
02:05:23.000 So you're saying the moon is rotating around us the exact same speed.
02:05:26.000 The moon is rotating around us but not rotating.
02:05:30.000 So it's not spinning as it's rotating.
02:05:33.000 We spin.
02:05:34.000 And it follows us.
02:05:35.000 Why doesn't it spin?
02:05:36.000 That I don't understand.
02:05:37.000 Because it follows us.
02:05:38.000 Like, say, look.
02:05:39.000 Here's the palm of my hand.
02:05:40.000 Well, I'll show you right here.
02:05:41.000 Watch me.
02:05:42.000 Watch me.
02:05:43.000 Here's the palm of my hand, right?
02:05:44.000 Okay.
02:05:45.000 Now imagine this is the Earth.
02:05:46.000 Imagine the Earth is spinning.
02:05:48.000 And the palm of my hand follows the earth as it spins, but you only see the palm of my hand.
02:05:53.000 You don't see my knuckles.
02:05:54.000 You don't see the back of my hand.
02:05:55.000 You see the palm of my hand because it never spins.
02:05:58.000 So the moon, when we see the moon, so like if you're looking out and you see the moon, you see the same moon every night because you never see a moon that's spinning.
02:06:06.000 The moon doesn't spin.
02:06:07.000 Ah!
02:06:07.000 Hence, dark side of the moon.
02:06:09.000 Exactly.
02:06:11.000 Exactly.
02:06:12.000 So that's why it's a moon and not an individual planet.
02:06:16.000 Because it's as big, it's actually bigger than Pluto, right?
02:06:20.000 And Pluto was a planet for a long time.
02:06:22.000 An individual planet would be locked into the gravity of the sun.
02:06:24.000 Exactly.
02:06:25.000 But since it's locked into our gravity...
02:06:27.000 Exactly.
02:06:27.000 It's a moon.
02:06:28.000 Yeah.
02:06:31.000 See how it works?
02:06:33.000 See as the earth springs, the moon gives us the same face constantly.
02:06:38.000 So we come around and see it, because the moon's gone, then the moon's there, but we always see the same side.
02:06:43.000 Anything interesting?
02:06:44.000 Aliens.
02:06:44.000 Do you think?
02:06:45.000 Aliens and Nazis.
02:06:46.000 Mostly Nazis.
02:06:47.000 Nazis.
02:06:52.000 The aliens picked the worst group of people to collaborate with.
02:06:57.000 Or the best.
02:06:58.000 What if aliens just cared about technology so much?
02:07:01.000 They're like, oh, these guys got some good ideas.
02:07:03.000 And they didn't even learn about any of the other shit.
02:07:05.000 They just were like, who understands rocket propulsion the best?
02:07:08.000 Imagine if they thought about us the same way we think about wasps.
02:07:12.000 Where it's just like, it doesn't matter, I'll pick one.
02:07:14.000 Let them kill each other.
02:07:15.000 But they're really good at designing engines.
02:07:17.000 And eventually we get up there and we go, listen, buddy, there's some pretty bad other shit going on with the Nazis.
02:07:25.000 And we have to explain to them what Jewish people are.
02:07:29.000 Imagine that conversation.
02:07:30.000 Yeah.
02:07:31.000 Oh, well, okay, but the engines are amazing.
02:07:38.000 BMW is the shit.
02:07:40.000 They're into the cars!
02:07:41.000 Have you seen an SL500? E46, BMW, M3. Shut the fuck up.
02:07:47.000 Shut up.
02:07:48.000 So is that the thing?
02:07:50.000 Is that what they think?
02:07:51.000 Is that the conspiracy?
02:07:52.000 Give me the conspiracy, no facts associated whatsoever.
02:07:55.000 Well, the conspiracy is that there was connections between the Nazis and the occult.
02:08:02.000 And this is the thing that they always talk about, like maybe even Satanism, maybe even summoning evil entities from other dimensions and that.
02:08:11.000 You know, the real conspiracy is that, like, if you think about the amount of horrific things they did, they were absolutely abhorrent, absolutely, like, contrary to what we would think of as the best values of human nature.
02:08:27.000 And the whole country got behind this.
02:08:29.000 Like, how did that happen?
02:08:31.000 How did they kill so many people?
02:08:33.000 If you were a person who was inclined to...
02:08:36.000 And I'm not saying I'm not.
02:08:38.000 I'm not saying I don't believe in demons and Satan.
02:08:42.000 I'm not saying I don't.
02:08:44.000 Because I think that's foolish too.
02:08:46.000 Imagine if it was real.
02:08:48.000 You see that type of evil, you go, okay, well maybe that's associated with something.
02:08:51.000 But you've got to think something happened.
02:08:56.000 During that time where the world dipped into a darker dimension than it's ever experienced, at least in the lifetimes of those people that experienced that.
02:09:06.000 Like, what is that?
02:09:08.000 What the fuck causes that?
02:09:11.000 Is that demons?
02:09:12.000 So you think that they tap into something?
02:09:13.000 They tap into a dark energy?
02:09:14.000 I think it's a part of everything and maybe a part of us, which is why you can talk about the Mongols and what the fuck they did and why you talk about the Comanches.
02:09:22.000 And now it took like a hundred years for people to conquer Texas.
02:09:25.000 Because they just kept getting slaughtered.
02:09:28.000 Unbelievable savagery.
02:09:29.000 Everybody got slaughtered!
02:09:30.000 Well they also had that horse tech.
02:09:32.000 They have horse tech.
02:09:33.000 They also had multiple arrows in their fingers.
02:09:36.000 And these dudes had muskets.
02:09:39.000 It was musket time.
02:09:40.000 It wasn't until they came up with the Colt 45. It wasn't a Colt 45. The Revolver.
02:09:45.000 Yeah, Colt Revolver.
02:09:47.000 Colt Revolver was the first time they ever could shoot more than once at a time, and it changed the game.
02:09:53.000 Not enough spoken about that in history and how that carved out America on the planet.
02:10:00.000 Did the Colt 45 create America?
02:10:02.000 It wasn't a Colt 45, whatever the Colt Revolver, yeah.
02:10:05.000 Did the Colt Revolver create America?
02:10:06.000 It kind of did, because if someone didn't come up, you know, they didn't think that was necessary in war, so they weren't even going to, like, utilize it.
02:10:13.000 And then the Texas Rangers were the first people to go, I think, I see a fucking need to shoot multiple bullets.
02:10:19.000 Yeah, because these guys got four hours.
02:10:21.000 And rapid fire, because these guys were riding on horseback, shooting under the horse's neck.
02:10:26.000 So they would dip to the side of the horse?
02:10:29.000 They would hang themselves on the side.
02:10:30.000 They would hold on to the side of the horse and they would shoot past the horse's neck.
02:10:34.000 What is holding them on the side?
02:10:36.000 Are they saddled or are they bareback?
02:10:38.000 They would do bareback.
02:10:39.000 They would hold on.
02:10:41.000 They had incredible grip with their legs.
02:10:43.000 But they had like different reins and things and ways they would hold on to the horses.
02:10:48.000 But you would just hang on to the horse and shoot underneath its body so it used its body as a shield.
02:10:55.000 As a fucking shield.
02:10:58.000 Until bang, bang, bang, bang!
02:11:01.000 Good luck.
02:11:02.000 And then they're like, oh no!
02:11:03.000 It's over.
02:11:04.000 Apparently there's some wild stories about medicine men that blessed their warriors.
02:11:14.000 They were real shaman.
02:11:17.000 And then there was also con men.
02:11:18.000 Even in the world of Native Americans.
02:11:20.000 We want to think about Native Americans like they were...
02:11:23.000 They were in tune with the land.
02:11:25.000 They also had snake oil salesmen.
02:11:27.000 Yes!
02:11:28.000 They did.
02:11:29.000 So they had fake medicine men.
02:11:31.000 They would tell them, I will put a spell on you and you will never be killed by the white man's bullet.
02:11:36.000 And so they would do this fucking...
02:11:37.000 They were just making it up.
02:11:38.000 And then all of a sudden this dude's got a Henry rifle and he's shooting from 200 yards.
02:11:43.000 What's the Henry rifle?
02:11:44.000 A Henry rifle is like an old school Wild West rifle.
02:11:49.000 And they were shooting people.
02:11:50.000 What does a Henry rifle look like?
02:11:53.000 It is a pump action, right?
02:11:55.000 The old school ones?
02:11:56.000 Show me a photo of one of them.
02:11:57.000 Well, the Henry rifles, they still make Henry rifles today.
02:12:01.000 They make some dope rifles.
02:12:02.000 But this is back then.
02:12:04.000 And then this dude's head's exploding 100 yards away.
02:12:07.000 And they're like, oh no.
02:12:08.000 Because now they're realizing these guys can shoot from really far.
02:12:12.000 They can shoot from several hundred yards away with some of these more modern rifles.
02:12:17.000 When did rifles become accurate?
02:12:20.000 Because my understanding of the muskets was it was kind of a guess.
02:12:23.000 Kind of a guess.
02:12:24.000 Right?
02:12:25.000 Right?
02:12:26.000 Like, I was reading a little bit about muskets, and I think it wasn't until they did the spiral barrel or something like that.
02:12:32.000 It's called rifling.
02:12:33.000 That's why it's called a rifle.
02:12:34.000 See, the difference between a rifle and a musket is not just the way the powder knocks.
02:12:40.000 You had a flint, and the flint would make a spark.
02:12:42.000 It would light the gunpowder, and the ball would go.
02:12:45.000 But a rifle actually has rifling.
02:12:47.000 So there's a pattern to the barrel, the inside.
02:12:50.000 So it spins the bullet as it comes out.
02:12:52.000 Okay, so you shot that arrow today, right?
02:12:55.000 If you notice the back of the arrow, it has fletchings.
02:12:58.000 Those are the wings on it.
02:12:59.000 Yes, exactly.
02:13:01.000 Now in the old days, those were feathers.
02:13:03.000 They would use them to steer the arrow, but now we use like a plastic.
02:13:07.000 And those feathers, those are AAE max veins.
02:13:12.000 And so they're all like at an angle and there's four of them.
02:13:16.000 So as that arrow's coming, it's twisting and turning.
02:13:19.000 You want the turn because the spin is what creates the accuracy.
02:13:23.000 Exactly.
02:13:24.000 It keeps it accurate.
02:13:25.000 And then there's also broadheads that accentuate the damage that's caused by the spin.
02:13:30.000 There's a type of broadhead called a single bevel broadhead.
02:13:34.000 This is a real Native American broadhead.
02:13:36.000 That's a real one.
02:13:37.000 So this would be the tip of an arrow?
02:13:39.000 Yes.
02:13:40.000 This is a real one.
02:13:41.000 That was, you know, who knows how many hundreds of years old before someone pulled it out of the ground.
02:13:46.000 Yeah.
02:13:47.000 Yeah, that's old as fuck.
02:13:50.000 I mean, maybe it was from the 1800s, maybe it was from the 1700s.
02:13:54.000 So that is an ancient broadhead, right?
02:13:56.000 Now, a modern one, they have ones that have an edge like this on one side, but not on the other.
02:14:04.000 Explain that.
02:14:05.000 So see how there's an edge here and there's an edge here on both sides, okay?
02:14:10.000 If it's beveled in on both sides to a point, it looks like a teepee, right?
02:14:17.000 But if it's only on one side, it looks like that.
02:14:20.000 And when it's on one side, it causes it to spin through the body cavity.
02:14:25.000 Oh, so it just tears up your body when it gets in.
02:14:28.000 Yeah, it continues to spin.
02:14:30.000 That's called a single bevel broadhead.
02:14:32.000 It's like a holotip.
02:14:34.000 Their version of a holotip bullet.
02:14:36.000 Their version of a holotip.
02:14:37.000 But very good because it penetrates bone.
02:14:40.000 Because it's a single blade.
02:14:42.000 There's a lot going on with those things, man.
02:14:45.000 When you see in the movies where they do the thing where they snap the arrow and they pull it out, I guess, the other side?
02:14:53.000 You could do that.
02:14:55.000 Okay, let's say you get shot with an arrow.
02:14:57.000 Arrow's stuck.
02:14:58.000 Is it just yank out the opposite way?
02:15:01.000 Or is it snap?
02:15:02.000 No, you want to push it through.
02:15:03.000 And then push it through.
02:15:04.000 Yeah, if it's poking out your back, definitely don't try to pull it back.
02:15:09.000 100%.
02:15:09.000 Also, leave it in.
02:15:11.000 If you get shot with an arrow and it's poking down to your body, leave it in and get to a hospital.
02:15:15.000 Because you'll be able to stop the bleeding hopefully in the hospital, but if it just starts to go.
02:15:18.000 The arrow in your body will help stop bleeding far more than pulling the arrow free.
02:15:23.000 Then everything would just bleed.
02:15:26.000 And then also like the, what is this?
02:15:29.000 This guy got hit by it?
02:15:30.000 Oh my god, he got shot in the eyeball during a riot?
02:15:34.000 He got shot in the eyeball with an arrow.
02:15:36.000 Oh my god.
02:15:37.000 That's so insane.
02:15:38.000 How much accuracy do you have when you're shooting a parabola?
02:15:45.000 So you're not shooting straight like we did today, but when you're going for distance and it's just up in the air like you see in like medieval fights.
02:15:52.000 Right.
02:15:53.000 How much accuracy is that like just fucking plainly?
02:15:55.000 Well, you never do that, right?
02:15:57.000 Like if you're trying to shoot an animal, is that what you mean?
02:16:00.000 No, no.
02:16:00.000 I mean like when it's like human to human.
02:16:02.000 Yeah.
02:16:02.000 You're just shooting because- You have to judge it.
02:16:04.000 Yeah.
02:16:06.000 It's like throwing a softball.
02:16:07.000 Like I don't do that kind of archery, so I'm speaking a little bit out of tune.
02:16:13.000 When you throw a softball, like if you throw a lot of balls or a hardball, you get accustomed to how it feels when you let that ball go and you know where that catcher's mitt's going to be.
02:16:23.000 With football.
02:16:24.000 If you're going long, you're just sending it.
02:16:26.000 You don't get as much information from an arrow, a bow and arrow, because it's like you're launching something.
02:16:33.000 Whereas this, you're throwing something.
02:16:35.000 But it's kind of similar in that there's a feedback loop.
02:16:38.000 And then as you shoot more arrows, you get more and more accustomed to knowing where that arrow is going to go with distance.
02:16:46.000 But it's a brutal process of elimination and information and calculation.
02:16:53.000 It's not easy.
02:16:54.000 What we did today is so much easier than a recurve bow.
02:16:59.000 When you just have a wood bow and you're like...
02:17:04.000 Like, you have to release it yourself.
02:17:06.000 You're using your fingers to let it go.
02:17:08.000 I mean, I don't have any ego to say that there's no way I could hold it back and maintain the accuracy.
02:17:17.000 Well, it's like something else.
02:17:19.000 It's like anything else.
02:17:20.000 You have to build on it.
02:17:21.000 Like, you wouldn't just get good at it really quick.
02:17:23.000 That's strength, dude.
02:17:23.000 Like, that is...
02:17:25.000 Yeah, when I pulled it back and it locked, I was like, okay, I can kind of focus on this front part a bit, but then my hand is all fucking shaky.
02:17:35.000 John Dudley doing a 500-yard shot.
02:17:37.000 Oh, John Dudley doing a 500-yard bow shot.
02:17:40.000 It kind of comes down.
02:17:41.000 It doesn't go straight.
02:17:43.000 It comes down on this thing.
02:17:44.000 Oh, yeah, for sure, because you've got to think it's not going that fast.
02:17:50.000 Are you calculating wind and shit?
02:17:52.000 Oh, yeah, you definitely would for that.
02:17:56.000 So he's just trying to land on his target.
02:18:00.000 Yeah, that's just crazy.
02:18:04.000 John did a thing for us back at Onnit where he shot...
02:18:08.000 Jesus Christ.
02:18:11.000 Got something in my throat.
02:18:13.000 Save that voice.
02:18:14.000 We got shows tonight, Joe.
02:18:15.000 Yeah, it's like I swallowed something.
02:18:18.000 John had a...
02:18:20.000 I think it was a 120-yard shot into a kettlebell.
02:18:23.000 Yeah, this is it.
02:18:24.000 Look at this.
02:18:25.000 So he shot it into the handle of a gorilla kettlebell.
02:18:28.000 Look at that.
02:18:29.000 Bam!
02:18:29.000 How crazy is that?
02:18:30.000 It's crazy.
02:18:31.000 Oh, it was lit, right?
02:18:32.000 Yeah.
02:18:33.000 His lighted knots.
02:18:34.000 But you know how wild that is, that shot?
02:18:39.000 I mean, that's insane.
02:18:42.000 But you can't do that with a regular bow.
02:18:46.000 Like a recurve bow, that's not available.
02:18:49.000 You can only do that with a compound bow.
02:18:52.000 But they did have some recurve bows that would be like...
02:18:56.000 The Mongols had ones that would take 160 pounds to draw back.
02:19:00.000 So if you think about the bowies...
02:19:02.000 Today was what?
02:19:02.000 80. 80. So that one was 80. Now imagine double that.
02:19:06.000 Forget it, dude.
02:19:06.000 And you have to hold it.
02:19:07.000 It's like...
02:19:08.000 And then aim it.
02:19:09.000 I mean, they must have just been fucking jerked.
02:19:12.000 Yeah.
02:19:13.000 They must have been...
02:19:14.000 160 pound bows?
02:19:15.000 That's crazy.
02:19:16.000 I want to learn...
02:19:17.000 I want to read more about that, like...
02:19:20.000 What is the competitive advantage with all these different groups?
02:19:25.000 What was the Romans' competitive advantage?
02:19:27.000 Do you know?
02:19:28.000 If I had to guess, they had a high level of sophistication when it came to military strategy.
02:19:35.000 They had...
02:19:37.000 You know, I mean, they had so much money.
02:19:40.000 So it was just money.
02:19:41.000 That's a big part of it.
02:19:41.000 From trade.
02:19:42.000 I mean, how does it not have to...
02:19:43.000 I mean, if you're going to arm your people and you want to pay them and pay your soldiers, you want to give them fucking armor and weapons and shit, like, the more money you have, the more weapons, the more horses, the more everything.
02:19:52.000 And what is that money coming from?
02:19:54.000 Resources?
02:19:54.000 Stealing from people.
02:19:55.000 So they're just, like, going in, they're taking all the shit and then...
02:19:59.000 I would imagine there's a lot of things going on.
02:20:01.000 Wait, wait, that actually makes sense.
02:20:03.000 If your business is, you're essentially like a pirate, like if your business is just conquest and it's stealing, you need to continue to expand the empire to continue to feed it.
02:20:13.000 Yeah.
02:20:13.000 And then the bigger the empire gets, the less that money affects the rest of the empire.
02:20:19.000 So you reach a certain level where you just can't sustain it.
02:20:22.000 Yes.
02:20:23.000 Oh, wow.
02:20:24.000 Yeah.
02:20:25.000 That makes perfect sense.
02:20:26.000 Yeah.
02:20:26.000 You just go crazy.
02:20:28.000 Yeah.
02:20:28.000 You go crazy like the son of a rich man who's doing coke in a mansion.
02:20:33.000 You just go fucking crazy.
02:20:37.000 Bro, that's what they said?
02:20:39.000 No, that's what they said that guy was.
02:20:41.000 What was his name?
02:20:41.000 Oh, fuck.
02:20:43.000 And they said it was the lead pipes.
02:20:47.000 He didn't drink from the water.
02:20:49.000 Marcus Aurelius' son was...
02:20:52.000 Oh, Commodus.
02:20:54.000 No.
02:20:54.000 No.
02:20:54.000 No, no, no.
02:20:55.000 Well, it's Marcus Aurelius' son.
02:20:56.000 The evil son, right?
02:20:57.000 Yeah, Zeno?
02:20:58.000 Zeno?
02:21:00.000 Zenit?
02:21:02.000 Doesn't matter.
02:21:02.000 But I guess they said that...
02:21:04.000 Joaquin Phoenix.
02:21:06.000 Yeah.
02:21:07.000 Commodus.
02:21:07.000 Oh, you were right.
02:21:08.000 I was right.
02:21:09.000 Okay.
02:21:10.000 Maybe it wasn't a function of just like this guy came up in extreme wealth and opportunity and whatever.
02:21:15.000 Maybe it was a function of like they didn't understand the lead pipes made you fucking crazy.
02:21:19.000 And for the first time, he was every bit of water that he drank was from those lead pipes.
02:21:24.000 Oh, my.
02:21:24.000 For the first time?
02:21:26.000 Think about it.
02:21:27.000 No way.
02:21:27.000 He was the first person?
02:21:29.000 That generation was the first generation?
02:21:32.000 Well, Aurelius was born into it?
02:21:36.000 Because when I was in Rome and I was looking at— Is this like a widely studied theory, the lead pipe theory?
02:21:40.000 This was a guy who told me when I was at the Coliseum.
02:21:43.000 Definitely an article in Science about it.
02:21:45.000 Did lead poisoning bring down ancient Rome?
02:21:47.000 Because they didn't know.
02:21:48.000 For them, the idea that there was water and there was accessible water that was actually good for you was for the rich only.
02:21:55.000 And what if that's all you had?
02:21:56.000 Of course you're going to go crazy because at the beginning of his reign, he wasn't that crazy.
02:21:59.000 And then my man just went wild.
02:22:02.000 Whoa.
02:22:04.000 Yeah, it could have been the lead place.
02:22:05.000 Tap water from ancient Rome likely contained a hundred times more lead than local spring water.
02:22:11.000 And all the poor people don't have fucking plumbing, so they're getting water from a river.
02:22:15.000 Isn't that a little bit of karma?
02:22:17.000 Isn't that a little bit of karma?
02:22:19.000 Life works in mysterious ways.
02:22:20.000 Sometimes the universe...
02:22:22.000 Oh, it will correct, my boy.
02:22:24.000 Sometimes the universe just sends you a message.
02:22:27.000 Remember when Heather McDonald blacked out on stage when she was talking about the vaccine?
02:22:31.000 I mean, I don't mean to diss on her.
02:22:33.000 She's a nice lady.
02:22:34.000 But has there ever been a time where the universe is like, yo, hang on.
02:22:40.000 There's a compilation.
02:22:41.000 Have you seen in the gay dancing where they do the fall?
02:22:47.000 Yes, I have that.
02:22:48.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:22:50.000 There's a compilation.
02:22:51.000 Of all the different people blacking out.
02:22:51.000 Of all the people falling as part of the gay enhancing and then Heather just dropping.
02:22:55.000 Yeah.
02:22:56.000 But she was really going off about how proud she was about being boosted a few times.
02:23:02.000 Hilarious.
02:23:02.000 Yeah.
02:23:03.000 But it's like the universe is like, hey, hey, hey, hey.
02:23:06.000 You're going too far.
02:23:07.000 You guys are going too far now.
02:23:09.000 This whole fucking world's going too far.
02:23:10.000 How about that?
02:23:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:23:12.000 That's why people believe in God.
02:23:14.000 Well, okay.
02:23:15.000 Stuff like that.
02:23:16.000 Maybe there is a fucking someone watching over this.
02:23:19.000 I hope so.
02:23:20.000 I hope so, too.
02:23:21.000 And what if religion is just the language that you can speak to him as he speaks to you?
02:23:26.000 Yeah.
02:23:27.000 Because they all more or less say the same things.
02:23:29.000 Very similar.
02:23:30.000 And what if they're up there, they're going, I don't really mind what language you speak as long as you're doing these things because I think it will help you.
02:23:38.000 It's not even like a narcissism thing.
02:23:39.000 It's just like, hey, if you do these things, you're probably going to live a better life and enjoy this life, this gift that I've given you.
02:23:46.000 Yeah.
02:23:47.000 I wonder if that's it.
02:23:48.000 Because, yeah, what is it, the Pascal's Wager?
02:23:51.000 Have you heard of that?
02:23:52.000 Yeah.
02:23:53.000 I kind of subscribe to that.
02:23:54.000 I was raised with no religion, but it's like, I'd rather live life thinking there was a God.
02:23:59.000 Yeah, that's Jordan Peterson's position too.
02:24:01.000 Yeah.
02:24:02.000 I think there's something to it.
02:24:05.000 There certainly could be.
02:24:07.000 Do you think there's someone out there?
02:24:13.000 I don't think we should think of it as a someone, because I have a feeling that's part of the problem.
02:24:19.000 Like, we pretended it got some dude in a skirt, a fucking robe in the sky.
02:24:25.000 You know, they wear weird clothes, and back before they had cell phones, like, what?
02:24:30.000 God, really?
02:24:31.000 What is that?
02:24:32.000 Like, why are we depicting him like that?
02:24:34.000 If you just are honest about how people tell stories, if you just really just don't...
02:24:40.000 Don't think about what you know to be true and what you believe and what your faith tells you.
02:24:46.000 Just like what you know about human beings and stories.
02:24:50.000 Every time human beings have told a story, like if you wanted to talk to someone from Oliver North's family about what happened with Rick Ross and cocaine sales in South Central Los Angeles and did they use the money to Fund the Conchas versus the Sandinistas in Nicaragua.
02:25:09.000 Like what?
02:25:10.000 His family doesn't believe that, right?
02:25:12.000 Because they have a very specific narrative.
02:25:13.000 And then 100 years from now, Ronald Reagan would be like the greatest, most noble American that's ever lived.
02:25:18.000 And to some people he is today.
02:25:21.000 So it's like these narratives shift and swing and change over time depending on who tells them, which is why censorship is so dangerous.
02:25:31.000 And it's why ideological narratives are so dangerous.
02:25:34.000 Because if you don't tell me the truth about history, I don't know what to not fuck up again.
02:25:40.000 But what is the truth about how we treat each other?
02:25:43.000 I feel like there is a truth there.
02:25:45.000 Yeah.
02:25:45.000 And I think there are—well, you can judge a religion by its fruit.
02:25:50.000 Like, there's a reason why Judaism was successful.
02:25:54.000 There's a reason why Christianity comes around and it's successful.
02:25:57.000 And there's a reason why Islam comes around and it's successful.
02:25:59.000 It has to have fruit.
02:26:00.000 It can't just be, I'm forcing you to do this.
02:26:03.000 The people have to enjoy what they're getting from it for it to be successful.
02:26:06.000 100%.
02:26:06.000 Yeah.
02:26:07.000 So they needed it in the time.
02:26:11.000 Yeah.
02:26:11.000 You know, like, I almost wonder if you look at religions as, like, girlfriends.
02:26:16.000 Like, every new one is a reaction to the last one.
02:26:19.000 Like, Judaism was, like, very strict and there's all these rules and you can't eat this and you can't do that.
02:26:24.000 And then, like, Christianity comes around and it's just like, hey, bro, I love you.
02:26:29.000 You know what I mean?
02:26:30.000 Like, hey, you did something fucked up, I love you.
02:26:33.000 You know what I mean?
02:26:35.000 Just say you're sorry.
02:26:38.000 That's it, that's it, that's it.
02:26:39.000 Just say you're sorry.
02:26:41.000 And I love you, you come to heaven.
02:26:43.000 And then it got too crazy, maybe.
02:26:45.000 Not too crazy, but then maybe it was taking advantage of too much.
02:26:48.000 It was like, I don't even need much from you.
02:26:50.000 And then people were like...
02:26:52.000 All right, well, I'm not going to do much.
02:26:53.000 And then Islam comes around and it's like, oh, you weren't even praying once every week?
02:26:59.000 Like, now you're going to do it five times a day.
02:27:01.000 Five times a day.
02:27:02.000 Yeah.
02:27:02.000 Happy Ramadan, by the way.
02:27:03.000 I think today is the first day of Ramadan.
02:27:04.000 It's today?
02:27:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:27:05.000 But, like, I don't know.
02:27:07.000 I just feel like it's a function of, like, what humans might need.
02:27:11.000 Like, I almost think about, like, Like, what is popular now in society and culture?
02:27:17.000 Like, these figures, like, Jordan is a perfect example.
02:27:19.000 Like, you're a perfect example.
02:27:21.000 Like, I think we, as Americans have kind of, like, left religion, we still need the structure.
02:27:27.000 And, like, even, like, telling somebody to get in an ice bath in the morning.
02:27:32.000 Like, that's a religious act.
02:27:34.000 Maybe it's not done for God, but there's a consistency there.
02:27:38.000 There's something that you do that makes you feel good.
02:27:40.000 Like, I feel like we've found a way to, like, a la carte the different structures that religion provided us now that we don't have religion.
02:27:46.000 Yeah, I'm glad you said that about the ice pack, because I think that sometimes it is a ritual for me.
02:27:51.000 And it's also like a silent thing.
02:27:53.000 I'm doing it completely by myself.
02:27:55.000 And the just commitment to it, I think there's something.
02:27:59.000 Also, it's like super uncomfortable.
02:28:01.000 And when it's super uncomfortable but you still do it every day, you win one little battle every day.
02:28:08.000 What about religion has to be comfortable for you?
02:28:11.000 Religion doesn't have to be comfortable.
02:28:13.000 That's why there's something good in that one.
02:28:15.000 There's like a physical barrier that you have to get through for three minutes every day.
02:28:20.000 And if you can get through that barrier, you will have a better day.
02:28:24.000 It seems so stupid.
02:28:26.000 I mean, I'll be honest with you, bro.
02:28:27.000 I ain't doing that shit.
02:28:29.000 I tried it.
02:28:29.000 I can't.
02:28:31.000 I don't like the cold, bro.
02:28:33.000 You think I like it?
02:28:35.000 I think you like defeating it.
02:28:38.000 You don't defeat it.
02:28:40.000 You never win.
02:28:41.000 I think you like challenge and I think you like conquering challenge.
02:28:45.000 You don't conquer this.
02:28:47.000 You just tolerate it.
02:28:48.000 That's the best part.
02:28:49.000 You can never win.
02:28:50.000 Is that the win though?
02:28:51.000 You can never win.
02:28:52.000 It's gonna be 34 degrees to the end of time.
02:28:54.000 How long can you hang out in there?
02:28:56.000 You don't win.
02:28:58.000 You never win with the cold plunge.
02:29:01.000 You can't defeat it.
02:29:02.000 That's the ego check.
02:29:03.000 You can't be like, I am the fucking freeze man.
02:29:07.000 Even Wim Hof has to get out of the ice bath.
02:29:09.000 You have to get out.
02:29:10.000 You'll die.
02:29:11.000 So maybe that's the humility.
02:29:12.000 Maybe that's related to something like the jujitsu of it.
02:29:17.000 You're going to get tapped by somebody.
02:29:19.000 Right.
02:29:19.000 There's something to that for sure.
02:29:21.000 And maybe we need that.
02:29:22.000 Maybe we need to be humbled.
02:29:23.000 I think so.
02:29:23.000 It's healthy for us to be humbled.
02:29:34.000 No one's forcing you to do it.
02:29:35.000 You climb in there.
02:29:36.000 You have a little victory by getting yourself in there.
02:29:39.000 And then you watch a timer and count it down.
02:29:42.000 And when three minutes are up, you get out and you won.
02:29:44.000 You won.
02:29:45.000 You did it.
02:29:45.000 It sucked.
02:29:46.000 You didn't want to do it, but you did it.
02:29:48.000 So now the whole day is like you know how to suck it up.
02:29:52.000 You know how to deal with bullshit.
02:29:55.000 You know how to overcome something that's not fun.
02:29:59.000 And you did it on purpose.
02:30:01.000 And it'll aid you.
02:30:02.000 It'll aid you in other things, other things that are frustrating or, you know...
02:30:07.000 But you're on it.
02:30:08.000 It's like, at a time where we can look at our phone and be distracted and feel good whenever we want, at a time where we can get a nice, cozy feeling of distraction whenever we want, we're forcing ourselves to do things that are inconvenient.
02:30:19.000 Yeah.
02:30:20.000 That make us suffer.
02:30:22.000 I think it's very important.
02:30:24.000 And through that suffering, we find...
02:30:25.000 I think it's very important.
02:30:27.000 Some happiness.
02:30:28.000 Yeah.
02:30:28.000 I think it helps.
02:30:30.000 I think your body is designed to overcome a certain amount of anxiety and stress and adversity and challenges and fear.
02:30:42.000 And if you don't burn that out, I think that's why so many people are on medications.
02:30:47.000 I think they think they need medication to get through life, and I think you need life to get through medication.
02:30:53.000 That's what I think.
02:30:54.000 You're more resilient than you realize.
02:30:56.000 Yeah, way more.
02:30:57.000 Everybody is.
02:30:58.000 That's what sports does.
02:30:59.000 Yes.
02:31:00.000 Yeah, you need to test your resilience.
02:31:02.000 Think about this thing that we talked about with Randall Carlson and Graham Hancock's theory about the comet impacts from 12,000 years ago.
02:31:12.000 Modern civilization, as people talk about it today, started the way we talk about it today in conventional academic circles.
02:31:22.000 They say it started 6,000 years ago.
02:31:25.000 That means that if Graham is right and if Randall is right and their theory is right, that means that people...
02:31:33.000 Lived in utter barbarism for 6,000 years before they started to reinvent agriculture and mathematics.
02:31:44.000 For 6,000 years, they probably slayed each other with sticks and rocks.
02:31:51.000 Seems hard to believe, no?
02:31:53.000 Not really.
02:31:54.000 Not at all.
02:31:55.000 Oh, you think it is?
02:31:56.000 I think that is what happened.
02:31:59.000 I think in certain places I think that happened.
02:32:02.000 I think in other places there was remnants of the ancient technology.
02:32:06.000 And I think they lived in different ways.
02:32:08.000 Perhaps.
02:32:09.000 Yeah.
02:32:09.000 Perhaps, but not a lot of evidence.
02:32:11.000 The evidence shows that Mesopotamia, particularly Sumer, that seems to be the oldest shit that we can find.
02:32:21.000 Until these Randall Carlson, Graham Hancock type theories came along, nobody entertained the thought of the pyramids being older or the Sphinx being older.
02:32:33.000 It wasn't until, like, the 1990s that people started talking about that.
02:32:37.000 They've always just, like, assumed the timeline was accurate.
02:32:40.000 And that timeline was, like, 6,000 years ago.
02:32:43.000 Ancient Sumer, it's the first mathematics, the first written language.
02:32:49.000 It's, like, a version of some of the stories from the biblical flood.
02:32:54.000 You know, the Epic of Gilgamesh, which comes from the ancient Sumerian culture, very similar to Noah's Ark.
02:33:01.000 A little bit.
02:33:02.000 Very similar.
02:33:03.000 But you find these similar stories everywhere.
02:33:05.000 Because it happened!
02:33:06.000 And it happened in different places.
02:33:09.000 Because it was a common thing.
02:33:10.000 Flood was common.
02:33:11.000 Cataclysm was maybe common.
02:33:13.000 Not just that, but instantaneous flooding and cataclysm that comes from meteors slamming into the fucking ice caps.
02:33:21.000 Or think about how they would react to a hurricane.
02:33:24.000 I mean, think about how simple we view a hurricane and what that does.
02:33:29.000 Or a tornado.
02:33:29.000 Or a tornado.
02:33:29.000 The damage that does to a city.
02:33:31.000 Now, that's a city that has buildings made of concrete and stone.
02:33:34.000 Imagine tents, right?
02:33:37.000 Imagine people living more or less outside.
02:33:39.000 The devastation that that would cause.
02:33:42.000 It's a different life.
02:33:43.000 What's the part of the world that has the most hurricanes?
02:33:45.000 The Caribbean?
02:33:45.000 Is it Caribbean?
02:33:47.000 I would assume.
02:33:48.000 I would assume the Caribbean.
02:33:49.000 Makes sense, right?
02:33:50.000 Like warmer water, right?
02:33:52.000 Like the Atlantic is a warmer water.
02:33:54.000 Come up from Africa, cross over, and then they hit the Caribbean.
02:34:00.000 I don't know.
02:34:00.000 Like, I wonder if you could, like, tie cultural attributes to cataclysm.
02:34:05.000 Like, you go to the Caribbean and there's, like, this incredible, like, love and kindness and support, like, Latin culture that you feel.
02:34:15.000 And it's just like, yeah, maybe we should focus on that shit.
02:34:18.000 Maybe we should help each other out.
02:34:20.000 Maybe we don't need to build a skyscraper.
02:34:21.000 Right, right.
02:34:22.000 Maybe we need to dance today.
02:34:24.000 Right, because the fucking sky gods might come down and wipe out your whole village.
02:34:28.000 Japan is actually number one on that.
02:34:30.000 Countries most exposed to tropical cyclones worldwide in 2022. Like it makes sense that like...
02:34:36.000 Wow, Japan's number one.
02:34:37.000 Well, they have...
02:34:39.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, the cyclones and shit.
02:34:40.000 Then the Bahamas and then South Korea.
02:34:43.000 Yeah.
02:34:44.000 Antigua and Barbuda.
02:34:46.000 That's in the...
02:34:46.000 Is Barbuda Barbados?
02:34:48.000 No.
02:34:48.000 Different place.
02:34:49.000 I don't think so, yeah.
02:34:50.000 China, Cuba.
02:34:52.000 Of course, Cuba, right?
02:34:53.000 Dominican Republic, Cuba.
02:34:54.000 Vietnam, Mexico, Dominica.
02:34:56.000 And Mexico, of course, I imagine on that side.
02:34:58.000 Florida, not even on the list.
02:34:59.000 We don't even touch them.
02:35:01.000 But yeah, that's the beauty.
02:35:02.000 Now, what about tornadoes?
02:35:04.000 Is that like exclusively an American...
02:35:07.000 Problem?
02:35:07.000 Well, I would want to know how the natives spoke about tornadoes.
02:35:11.000 Right.
02:35:12.000 Because they're the ones who probably had to deal with them for a thousand years.
02:35:15.000 What the fuck?
02:35:15.000 Imagine trying to get away from a tornado on a horse.
02:35:18.000 On a horseback.
02:35:19.000 Oh, my God.
02:35:19.000 Yeah, USA owns that category.
02:35:21.000 Oh, my God.
02:35:21.000 What's that?
02:35:22.000 USA owns that category.
02:35:24.000 Oh, we own it?
02:35:24.000 Yeah, most biggest, most destructive.
02:35:27.000 That's right, bitches.
02:35:27.000 Number one.
02:35:28.000 Fucking number one tornadoes, bitch.
02:35:31.000 What is that, Tosh Oak?
02:35:32.000 That's why they're so fat in Oklahoma, so they'll stay on the ground.
02:35:36.000 Ha!
02:35:38.000 Bro, Tosh is a goat, man.
02:35:41.000 Love Tosh.
02:35:44.000 Anyway, I don't know.
02:35:46.000 I think you can look at culture and the way that it has evolved through the circumstances they had to deal with.
02:35:54.000 You look at Canadians, right?
02:35:55.000 And a lot of people are like, oh, Canadians are so nice.
02:35:57.000 And it's like...
02:35:57.000 Think about how difficult life was in Canada.
02:36:01.000 Before big cities, I'm talking about go to Calgary.
02:36:03.000 I'm talking about go to Edmonton.
02:36:04.000 Like, yeah, your neighbor's gonna be nice to you when your life is dependent on it.
02:36:10.000 Yeah, it's negative 90 outside.
02:36:12.000 Negative fucking 90 degrees.
02:36:14.000 We all have a cattle farm or horses and the hay isn't there and we need to feed them.
02:36:19.000 I need to be able to go to you and be like, hey, do you have some hay?
02:36:21.000 Because all my cattle are gonna fucking die.
02:36:24.000 That's gonna create some kindness.
02:36:25.000 You live in New York where, like, the elements aren't going to affect it that much, and, like, you can kind of check out for most things, and as long as the water's pretty good and the food...
02:36:33.000 Yeah, we can be rude to one another because we can afford to be.
02:36:36.000 We don't rely on each other as much.
02:36:38.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:36:39.000 Yeah, so it's like, culture is, like, dependent on, like, how much you need to rely on one another and, like, what the elements provide you.
02:36:47.000 Yeah.
02:36:48.000 That's a good way of looking at it.
02:36:51.000 It's like how disciplined and how good the engineering of the Germans were.
02:36:57.000 But you had to be on top of your fucking game if you're living in that freezing mountain weather, right?
02:37:04.000 Yeah, why were they good?
02:37:05.000 It's a good question.
02:37:07.000 They were so good.
02:37:08.000 They were so good at engineering.
02:37:10.000 Was there a focus on intelligence?
02:37:12.000 Was there a focus on studying?
02:37:14.000 Was there a focus on education?
02:37:14.000 I wish I knew the answer to that.
02:37:16.000 But there had to be something, because think Audi, Mercedes, BMW, Volkswagen, Porsche.
02:37:24.000 They were teaching that stuff there before the United States was a country.
02:37:27.000 Oh, the Industrial Revolution played a critical role in catapulting Germany into engineering stardom.
02:37:32.000 The Dresden Academy of Engineers was founded in 1743, where subjects such as mathematics, fortress construction...
02:37:41.000 Hilarious.
02:37:42.000 But you also look at like...
02:37:43.000 Mechanics and the study of machinery.
02:37:45.000 Where's all of like the great classical...
02:37:50.000 What is it called?
02:37:51.000 Music.
02:37:52.000 All the great classical...
02:37:53.000 Juilliard?
02:37:53.000 No, no, no.
02:37:54.000 The classical composers.
02:37:55.000 Okay.
02:37:56.000 I think most of them are from Germany as well.
02:37:58.000 Like Germany must have experienced like a level of opulence for an extended period of time where like they could just go, I'm going to be an orchestra conductor.
02:38:05.000 Like that's...
02:38:06.000 Shit got to be good for a while.
02:38:08.000 A long time.
02:38:08.000 Where your job is blowing into a fucking horn.
02:38:11.000 Damn!
02:38:11.000 Right?
02:38:12.000 Like think about like in human history, how long has it been where you could blow into a horn for a living?
02:38:19.000 So maybe they just had that for hundreds of years and because of that they could develop all this crazy shit while everybody's basically trying to stay alive, trying to get to another season, like hoping it rains.
02:38:31.000 Could be.
02:38:32.000 Well there certainly has to be some sort of an effect Dual education system back a long, long time ago where they would split up theoretical and practical knowledge.
02:38:43.000 Wow.
02:38:44.000 The study program combines the technical knowledge with the commercial expertise and is building networks between the subjects, which can be essential for the later job world.
02:38:53.000 Because this is what Germany had.
02:38:55.000 France had the thinkers, but they're like, we're not going to do shit.
02:39:00.000 Philosophers.
02:39:00.000 Smoke cigarettes.
02:39:01.000 Get my dick sucked.
02:39:02.000 Exactly.
02:39:03.000 I'm going to get my dick sucked.
02:39:05.000 Yeah.
02:39:05.000 Guy, girl, don't matter.
02:39:07.000 Yeah!
02:39:08.000 What are you saying?
02:39:09.000 Freedom fries.
02:39:15.000 But Germany was like, now we need some science too.
02:39:17.000 Yeah.
02:39:18.000 So France is just...
02:39:19.000 It's cold out here!
02:39:21.000 We need better engines!
02:39:24.000 And France was just like, how many different espressos can we make?
02:39:27.000 Imagine if those motherfuckers came up with a bomb first.
02:39:30.000 The French?
02:39:31.000 No, the Germans.
02:39:33.000 They were probably pretty close.
02:39:35.000 Where did Einstein come from?
02:39:40.000 Germany!
02:39:41.000 Well, Oppenheimer, too, right?
02:39:43.000 Where's he from?
02:39:44.000 Operation Paperclip.
02:39:46.000 Oppenheimer's not from Operation Paperclip.
02:39:48.000 Oh, yeah.
02:39:49.000 Operation Paperclip.
02:39:50.000 Wasn't that mostly NASA scientists, though?
02:39:53.000 But weren't they all from...
02:39:54.000 Well, it was all rocketry.
02:39:57.000 You know, rockets were used to deliver bombs, too.
02:39:59.000 Like, the rocketry program in Berlin was insane.
02:40:03.000 Wernher von Braun was an absolute legitimate Nazi who was in charge of a rocket factory in Berlin where they would hang the slowest Jews in front of the rocket factory.
02:40:15.000 So when people would walk through, they would realize, like, this is the penalty if you work slow.
02:40:21.000 That's Wernher von Braun.
02:40:23.000 That's the guy, we fucking brought him over from the Nazis to run our NASA program to get us to the moon.
02:40:30.000 Is that like the version, is that like Michael Jackson?
02:40:34.000 What do you mean?
02:40:35.000 Where like the work is so good you just like forget about the fuck shit?
02:40:39.000 Right!
02:40:45.000 1943, the United States launched the ALOS mission, a foreign intelligence product focused on learning the extent of Germany's nuclear program.
02:40:54.000 By 1944, however, the evidence was clear the Germans had not come close to developing a bomb and had only advanced to preliminary research.
02:41:03.000 Wow.
02:41:04.000 How far away do you think it came from us going from preliminary research to the Manhattan Project?
02:41:10.000 Like, how long was that?
02:41:13.000 Thank God they didn't do it, though.
02:41:15.000 What is that shit right there, bro?
02:41:17.000 Oh, isn't that dope?
02:41:18.000 Those Japanese artists made it for me.
02:41:21.000 Isn't that sick?
02:41:22.000 Bro, the Japanese are awesome shit, bro.
02:41:25.000 Definitely.
02:41:26.000 We need to look into the Japanese.
02:41:27.000 You know, that's the only people that the Mongols didn't take over?
02:41:30.000 And why?
02:41:31.000 Because the Samurais fucked them up.
02:41:33.000 The Mongols showed up and they tried to take over Japan on several occasions.
02:41:37.000 More than one occasion.
02:41:38.000 And every time they were met with these fucking dudes who actually knew how to fight and were sword trained and were shooting arrows at distances.
02:41:44.000 And they're like, whoa, what the fuck is going on here?
02:41:47.000 They were like the...
02:41:48.000 If you think about samurais...
02:41:51.000 What the fuck was a samurai?
02:41:52.000 Japan was the origins of karate, judo, jujitsu.
02:41:58.000 All that shit came out of Japan.
02:42:00.000 But we're talking about feudal Japan?
02:42:02.000 We're talking about kingdoms and such?
02:42:03.000 Those cyclones saved them.
02:42:04.000 Japanese have always attributed their victory to storms and that wrecked the Mongols' fleets during both attempted invasions in 1274 and 1281. They concluded that Japan was protected from invasion by a divine wind,
02:42:20.000 or kamikaze, which was invoked in World War II to inspire pilots to launch suicide attacks on Allied ships.
02:42:29.000 So it could be storms.
02:42:31.000 But also, they fought.
02:42:32.000 They definitely had...
02:42:34.000 Hand-to-hand combat.
02:42:35.000 And a samurai was like...
02:42:37.000 What is the equivalent of that today?
02:42:39.000 Is that like a...
02:42:40.000 Is that a military dude?
02:42:41.000 Or is that like a street dude?
02:42:43.000 I mean, eventually they became ronins.
02:42:45.000 There was like a period of time during Musashi's era where they were mostly like samurais without a master.
02:42:52.000 And they would have like one-on-one duels.
02:42:56.000 That's like...
02:42:57.000 The Book of Five Rings is based on Miyamoto Musashi's writings about...
02:43:02.000 I don't know the book.
02:43:03.000 It's The greatest book of strategy.
02:43:06.000 It was a guy who killed 62 men, at least 60. 60 men in one-on-one armed sword fights.
02:43:15.000 Because you could come up to someone and just be like, it's on.
02:43:17.000 They would make duels.
02:43:18.000 They would decide to have duels.
02:43:21.000 And that's to the death.
02:43:22.000 To the death, with swords.
02:43:23.000 And Musashi killed everybody.
02:43:26.000 He was that dude.
02:43:27.000 And he became the boogeyman.
02:43:29.000 Yeah, he became the boogeyman.
02:43:31.000 But his philosophy was...
02:43:35.000 That to be a great swordsman, you had to be good at calligraphy, you had to be good at poetry, you had to be able to make art.
02:43:42.000 Bro, imagine the dude that killed your dad was a poet.
02:43:46.000 Imagine your dad died and then the next day he's like, flowers are green, flowers are blue.
02:43:56.000 I don't think.
02:43:57.000 We're talking about haikus.
02:43:59.000 I think we're talking about different kinds of poetry.
02:44:02.000 But he's trying to be well-rounded, I guess.
02:44:04.000 100%.
02:44:05.000 Yeah.
02:44:05.000 Any holes in your game, any fake shit, will expose itself in one-on-one combat.
02:44:10.000 I wonder if John Jones would be the modern-day version of the elite samurai.
02:44:20.000 Well, I mean- Are we looking at these guys, these UFC dudes, are we like, oh, this is the modern day version of it.
02:44:27.000 We just have a structure for them to operate in.
02:44:30.000 It's sort of like that, but it's actually probably more satisfying to the fighter because you're a modern day version in a thing where you're not going to get killed.
02:44:40.000 Right.
02:44:40.000 Right.
02:44:41.000 Well, you could get killed, right?
02:44:43.000 There is that reality.
02:44:44.000 Absolutely.
02:44:44.000 Most likely you won't.
02:44:46.000 They have very good medical staff, but there's also that you are competing With your willpower, your technique, your knowledge, your fucking physical gifts,
02:45:02.000 and you're doing it in front of the world.
02:45:05.000 And the rewards, like, if you want to be Jon Jones, like, good luck.
02:45:08.000 It's a lot of work.
02:45:09.000 But if you get to be Jon Jones, like, wow.
02:45:13.000 Imagine that feeling.
02:45:14.000 Imagine that feeling of strangling Cyril gone, like, a fucking minute into the fight.
02:45:20.000 And everybody being like, wow, he's the GOAT. That's it.
02:45:23.000 The baddest man on the planet.
02:45:24.000 He's the GOAT. Yeah, no one thinks Tyson Fury could beat Jon Jones in a fight.
02:45:28.000 Isn't that fucking interesting?
02:45:30.000 No one thinks that.
02:45:31.000 Tyson doesn't think that.
02:45:33.000 You want to talk about who's the baddest man on the planet?
02:45:35.000 If Jon Jones and Tyson Fury are locked into a room, I'm pushing all my chips on black.
02:45:44.000 I'm going to tell you something.
02:45:47.000 Tyson Fury is an amazing boxer.
02:45:50.000 He doesn't have a fucking chance in hell of making it out of that room.
02:45:53.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:45:53.000 He has no chance of making it out of that room.
02:45:55.000 Isn't that crazy?
02:45:56.000 Zero chance.
02:45:57.000 He would have to catch John immediately with one punch.
02:46:03.000 I just don't see that happening, man.
02:46:07.000 The threat of the takedown looms so large, that shot will come so unexpectedly.
02:46:13.000 When he gets his hands around you, you'll be so stunned.
02:46:17.000 So what is that like being John?
02:46:19.000 Like, what is that like thinking there isn't another man on the planet that could do anything to you in hand-to-hand combat?
02:46:26.000 Pretty awesome.
02:46:30.000 Fuck.
02:46:31.000 Yeah, I'm sure he feels great.
02:46:34.000 Fuck.
02:46:34.000 Yeah.
02:46:35.000 Pretty nice.
02:46:39.000 It's also a fleeting thing, right?
02:46:41.000 Because when you get to be 40 and 42 and 43, it goes away.
02:46:47.000 And that's the beauty of it all.
02:46:49.000 What about his brothers?
02:46:51.000 Do you think he thinks he could fuck up his brothers?
02:46:54.000 Dude, what great sperm.
02:46:55.000 Good question.
02:46:57.000 I mean, just talent.
02:46:59.000 Just unbelievable talent.
02:47:01.000 And then will, too.
02:47:03.000 It's not only the genetics.
02:47:05.000 It's like all of them have committed themselves to something and raised to the top of it.
02:47:11.000 I think it's also them competing against each other.
02:47:13.000 I think that's a factor that makes them so good because there's three elite alpha males in the house together.
02:47:18.000 But don't you think it's like they had to be raised in a culture where competition was valued?
02:47:23.000 100%.
02:47:24.000 Yeah.
02:47:24.000 But also just having three elite athletes grow up together.
02:47:28.000 Like, they're competing with each other every day in the fucking house.
02:47:31.000 So you're, like, you're always on edge.
02:47:33.000 There was that story about, oh, God, who was that?
02:47:36.000 There was a baseball player where, like, his cousin was an elite pitcher.
02:47:40.000 And I forget this baseball player's name in, like...
02:47:45.000 Fuck, I'm forgetting.
02:47:46.000 He played for the Yankees.
02:47:47.000 He played for a bunch of teams.
02:47:48.000 But his cousin, who I kind of grew up with, was an elite pitcher.
02:47:51.000 And it's like, of course he has the fastest risks in the business.
02:47:54.000 Because since he's been fucking nine years old, he's had an elite pitcher pitching at him in their backyard.
02:48:00.000 Whoa.
02:48:00.000 And he's been turning that fucking bat over nonstop, trying to figure it out.
02:48:04.000 That's what you need.
02:48:05.000 Right.
02:48:06.000 That's what you need.
02:48:07.000 That's what you need.
02:48:08.000 Yeah, there's no substitute for uncomfortable things.
02:48:12.000 And sucking at something is uncomfortable.
02:48:14.000 And the only way you get better at something is, like, realize that as good as you think you are at it, there's other levels.
02:48:22.000 And that, like, if you think you can fucking hit that fastball, because, like, you just know, you're just different, like, no you don't, you don't know shit, until you actually do it.
02:48:32.000 Then you strike out and you feel like a loser, right?
02:48:34.000 Yeah, that's the point.
02:48:36.000 Like, the point, like, of all these things, it's like you're chasing Some sort of adulation, excitement of excellence, but also you're killing your ego.
02:48:45.000 Because your ego is the only thing that's going to fuck you up.
02:48:48.000 Your ego is going to lie to you.
02:48:50.000 Lie to you about how good you are about something.
02:48:53.000 Think about you instead of thinking about the task.
02:48:56.000 You're going to allocate resources to deal with this childless bullshit.
02:49:00.000 While you really should have been thinking about the thing you're doing in the zone, what keeps you from doing that?
02:49:05.000 Fear.
02:49:05.000 Fear of people ridiculing you.
02:49:07.000 Fear of failure.
02:49:09.000 It's all ego.
02:49:10.000 All of it.
02:49:11.000 Yeah, it's almost like you need enough ego to try.
02:49:14.000 Yeah, that's it.
02:49:15.000 And then not too much.
02:49:17.000 And then you just need strength after that.
02:49:19.000 You need to substitute the ego for willpower.
02:49:22.000 Just resilience.
02:49:23.000 Sheer resilience.
02:49:24.000 But then again, ego sometimes causes people to do amazing shit.
02:49:29.000 You need some people with some fucking ego.
02:49:31.000 How's Kanye West get where he is without ego?
02:49:33.000 Facts.
02:49:34.000 Steve Jobs.
02:49:35.000 How does he get there?
02:49:36.000 How does any of them?
02:49:36.000 How does he get there?
02:49:37.000 Show me a person that has changed the world without ego.
02:49:39.000 What's that dude from Microsoft?
02:49:41.000 Steve Ballmer?
02:49:41.000 Is that his name?
02:49:42.000 Oh, yeah.
02:49:42.000 Dude, he bounces around.
02:49:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:49:44.000 The guy who owns the Clippers?
02:49:46.000 I love this company!
02:49:47.000 Like, dancing and swinging.
02:49:49.000 Low-key, I kind of want him, because he was the guy who was making the sales.
02:49:51.000 I believe that he was really pushing it.
02:49:53.000 Yeah.
02:49:54.000 I want him to sell me on something.
02:49:56.000 Bro, play that video.
02:49:57.000 Let's end with this because I got to pee and I'm hungry.
02:50:00.000 Play this.
02:50:07.000 He's yelling at me to get up.
02:50:09.000 Bro, this is a software company.
02:50:12.000 They sell a fucking computer operating system, okay?
02:50:17.000 Like, look at this guy.
02:50:20.000 Bro, think about all the nerds out there in the world that needed this goddamn maniac at the helm of the company.
02:50:29.000 If he wasn't born in America, bro, he'd be a mentally retarded farmer in China.
02:50:37.000 Love this company!
02:50:41.000 He loves this company!
02:50:42.000 I love this company!
02:50:46.000 He's so out of breath.
02:50:48.000 His cardio is straight dog shit.
02:50:51.000 Let's go.
02:50:52.000 Love you, brother.
02:50:53.000 I love you, too.
02:50:54.000 You're the man.
02:50:55.000 Thank you very much for coming down here.
02:50:57.000 Always.
02:50:57.000 Anytime.
02:50:57.000 I was so happy when you're coming.
02:50:58.000 It means a lot to me for you to come here.
02:51:01.000 I'll be back again and again and again.
02:51:02.000 Because we're trying to do something cool here.
02:51:05.000 This is a special place.
02:51:06.000 Have cool people come down.
02:51:06.000 I think everybody should come down and check it out.
02:51:08.000 I mean that.
02:51:08.000 Not only to say that to comedians, but the people.
02:51:11.000 It's a very special place.
02:51:12.000 And check out both rooms.
02:51:13.000 If you're coming for the weekend, I would really say...
02:51:16.000 Definitely catch a little show.
02:51:17.000 Catch a little show and a big show and just feel it.
02:51:19.000 Even if you're watching the same comic in the different rooms, feel that difference.
02:51:24.000 What are they doing?
02:51:24.000 How does the material change?
02:51:27.000 Indeed.
02:51:27.000 Yeah, check that out.
02:51:28.000 All right.
02:51:29.000 Bye, everybody.