The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1966 - Big Jay Oakerson & Ari Shaffir

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 And we're up.

00:00:12.000 Yeah, the NXIVM cult is the one that I still haven't watched that documentary.

00:00:16.000 I've been watching this doc, I've got a bit about the place that I used, that I bought before I bought the mothership.

00:00:22.000 Yeah.

00:00:23.000 Because it's about a place that was owned by a cult.

00:00:25.000 So I've been watching the documentary on the cult.

00:00:27.000 It's called Holy Hell. 0.99

00:00:28.000 It's so fucking crazy. 0.99

00:00:31.000 I've been watching it, I've watched it three or four times to try to like find the angles for the bit. 0.99

00:00:35.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:00:35.000 Because the guy who ran it was a gay porn star who was also a hypnotist. 0.98

00:00:39.000 That's right. 1.00

00:00:40.000 It's such a powerful combination.

00:00:42.000 All he wore was Speedos and eyeliner. 0.99

00:00:44.000 And this dude ran this cult for 20 fucking years. 0.99

00:00:48.000 And they kicked him out and sent him to Hawaii. 0.99

00:00:50.000 And now he's running in Hawaii.

00:00:52.000 At the end of the documentary, the guy goes to visit the guy in Hawaii. 0.99

00:00:55.000 Now he's old and fucked up looking. 0.96

00:00:57.000 He's had a bunch of plastic surgery, like fake cheeks, and his lips are done and everything. 1.00

00:01:01.000 He looks like a monster.

00:01:02.000 And he's still got these people following around and opening the doors for him. 0.82

00:01:06.000 And he sits down and he...

00:01:07.000 Talks like a guru. 0.81

00:01:09.000 Complete con artist. 0.99

00:01:11.000 Did they show you his porns? 1.00

00:01:12.000 Oh, yeah. 0.95

00:01:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:13.000 How was it?

00:01:14.000 Oh, yeah, they just block out where the dick is going in the ass. 1.00

00:01:17.000 He's pounding this guy from behind, and then he's doing like a push-up. 1.00

00:01:21.000 He's doing like a plank, and this guy is underneath him, and he's holding on to the guys. 0.92

00:01:26.000 The guy's holding on to his hips, and he's just mouthfucking this guy while his legs are completely suspended in the air. 0.80

00:01:34.000 Oh, he's just, okay, doing workouts. 0.96

00:01:35.000 Military.

00:01:35.000 Yeah, he's basically doing a workout.

00:01:37.000 So he's got, like, in a push-up position like this, and his leg is, both of his legs are up there, like, that pointed.

00:01:42.000 And he's going like this, just humping this guy's mouth.

00:01:45.000 I mean, the guy, and this is something that the cult members had found out while he was, you know, in there. 0.90

00:01:51.000 That's him.

00:01:52.000 See, when he got older he started looking creepy.

00:01:55.000 This guy started this cult in 1981. He was an extra in Rosemary's Baby.

00:02:01.000 Really?

00:02:01.000 Yeah, that was like his claim to fame.

00:02:03.000 He was just a bad actor.

00:02:03.000 He's got some young bucks with him.

00:02:05.000 Oh, he had all young bucks and young beautiful women too. 0.94

00:02:08.000 Like that's how he attracted the heterosexual men. 1.00

00:02:11.000 He had a bunch of young beautiful women, but he told them never to have relationships together and then he fucked all the guys. 0.99

00:02:16.000 The move with the NXIVM guy did. 0.99

00:02:19.000 You can get a really good cult going, but everyone's not going to get the...

00:02:24.000 Even Charles Manson.

00:02:25.000 They always made it out to these young, pretty hippie girls. 1.00

00:02:28.000 When you see the pictures, they're all pretty rough.

00:02:31.000 The Mansonmans?

00:02:32.000 Yeah.

00:02:33.000 And then the NXIVM cult, it's the same thing. 0.55

00:02:35.000 It's like they tell you all the people that were involved and like...

00:02:38.000 Except for, like, one girl.

00:02:39.000 Like, most of them were pretty, like, homely.

00:02:41.000 So you're like, yeah, I guess if you're...

00:02:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:43.000 If your cult leader status is to bang a bunch of, like, they're okays.

00:02:48.000 Well, this is like headshots after they've left the cult and realized it was over. 0.90

00:02:52.000 That girl's the actress. 1.00

00:02:53.000 She's the actress? 0.99

00:02:54.000 The bottom left one?

00:02:54.000 Yeah.

00:02:55.000 She's the prettiest.

00:02:56.000 I recognize her.

00:02:56.000 But she's, like, secretary.

00:02:58.000 Yes, she was like, yes, exactly. 0.99

00:03:00.000 I think she got out of fucking him because she would recruit the girls and brand them and stuff. 1.00

00:03:06.000 That girl's pretty. 1.00

00:03:07.000 That's, uh, whatchamacallit's daughter.

00:03:09.000 Who?

00:03:10.000 She got involved, too.

00:03:12.000 Oh, she's an actress. 1.00

00:03:14.000 She was an actress in, like, those old, like, Falcon Crest-type shows.

00:03:17.000 Falcon Crest.

00:03:19.000 Oh my god.

00:03:20.000 Could you imagine being trapped on one of those shows where you gotta get a paycheck every week and the paycheck is wonderful.

00:03:28.000 You're probably making like a hundred grand a week.

00:03:30.000 So you're not gonna leave.

00:03:34.000 You're not going to leave. 0.99

00:03:34.000 And you're like, this sucks. 0.99

00:03:35.000 I didn't get into acting to do this. 0.67

00:03:37.000 But is it a good career if you're like, take a Lorenzo Lamas.

00:03:41.000 The guy is like, you know, small parts in Grease and stuff.

00:03:44.000 Then he's on Falcon Crest as a heartthrob for a while, which is, I think, network.

00:03:50.000 That's a big network.

00:03:51.000 Then he's renegade for years, probably his most successful thing.

00:03:54.000 Yeah, that was like a syndicated show.

00:03:56.000 Yeah, that was a syndicated show.

00:03:58.000 Beautiful man.

00:03:59.000 Oh, he was gorgeous in his day.

00:04:01.000 Beautiful man.

00:04:02.000 Yeah.

00:04:03.000 Like, what does he look like now?

00:04:05.000 That's him up there.

00:04:06.000 Not bad, not bad. 1.00

00:04:08.000 Still slinging dick. 1.00

00:04:09.000 63. But major like white drama. 1.00

00:04:11.000 Engaged to a younger woman who goes by Nerdy Blonde online.

00:04:14.000 Okay.

00:04:15.000 Perfect.

00:04:15.000 Oh, that's new.

00:04:16.000 He already had like a big girl, like a lady leave him that he was with for a while. 1.00

00:04:20.000 He was with a Playboy girl or something.

00:04:21.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:04:22.000 I remember seeing that. 0.99

00:04:24.000 Like, she had a ton of plastic surgery and shit, right? 1.00

00:04:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:28.000 Lorenzo Lamas. 1.00

00:04:29.000 Do you think he ever, like, if he looked back at himself at 16, 17, 18, whatever, when he's looking forward, if he's like, that's my career, do you think he'd be happy with that?

00:04:35.000 Or go, nah.

00:04:37.000 I want something legit.

00:04:38.000 It would really depend on how smart he is.

00:04:40.000 I've never heard him talk.

00:04:41.000 Or what he did with his money, I guess.

00:04:42.000 Right.

00:04:43.000 But also, how smart is he?

00:04:45.000 Are you stimulated there?

00:04:46.000 Are you just happy to get attention?

00:04:48.000 I bet he's just happy to get attention.

00:04:49.000 Maybe.

00:04:50.000 I think he was more pretty than brilliant.

00:04:53.000 Maybe.

00:04:54.000 But you know, saying with the NXIVM guy and the intelligence of them, it's weird.

00:04:58.000 Coffee?

00:04:58.000 Because the different states in life, that guy made himself very wealthy in that cult, the NXIVM guy.

00:05:05.000 Oh, he made himself wealthy by...

00:05:07.000 Sure, yeah, because it's a Ponzi scheme.

00:05:09.000 On top of the sex thing, it was most...

00:05:11.000 First of all, it was a money thing, first and foremost.

00:05:14.000 Sex was bonus.

00:05:15.000 It was one of those schemes to do, like...

00:05:19.000 They'd be like, get five more people to join.

00:05:22.000 Oh, pyramid scheme.

00:05:23.000 Pyramid scheme, for sure. 1.00

00:05:25.000 And then once they were in and believed their life was getting better from that, he'd be like, hey girls, there's a little side project I got going on called Fuck Me When I Tell You To. 0.99

00:05:34.000 Oh, interesting. 0.99

00:05:36.000 But weren't they getting branded or something?

00:05:39.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:05:40.000 It gets greedy.

00:05:41.000 Those things always go down because you...

00:05:44.000 The guy has too much power and he keeps going. 1.00

00:05:46.000 It's not enough to just be like, hey, I'm fucking three chicks. 0.99

00:05:49.000 It's Negan and the Walking Dead. 1.00

00:05:51.000 You can fuck three chicks and still you want to bank the guy who worships you. 1.00

00:05:55.000 His wife. 1.00

00:05:56.000 You want to see if you can get his wife, too. 0.90

00:05:57.000 And it's crazy.

00:05:59.000 Yeah.

00:05:59.000 And they always wind up doing it, too.

00:06:01.000 They get it.

00:06:01.000 Because the guy has to comply.

00:06:02.000 They don't know what to do.

00:06:03.000 Like David Koresh. 1.00

00:06:04.000 He had a deal where he could fuck everyone's wife. 1.00

00:06:08.000 The people that get out of it like sitting there and like just seeing a guy just seeing it I don't know how they stay together like a guy and his wife sitting on a couch while the guy's hysterically crying like I can't believe I Sat in that room and waited for him to fuck you while I you know I can believe it That they stay together? 1.00

00:06:24.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:06:25.000 It's just tough.

00:06:26.000 There's guys like that out there.

00:06:28.000 They're like, the girl can do anything. 1.00

00:06:29.000 She can shit in his face. 1.00

00:06:30.000 No, but they're like, don't do that. 1.00

00:06:33.000 I don't do that to you.

00:06:35.000 There's certain people.

00:06:36.000 And they have to complain about it the whole time?

00:06:37.000 Yeah, there's always been humans like that.

00:06:39.000 There's like a spectrum of humans.

00:06:41.000 There's always been humans that you could just kind of like push around.

00:06:44.000 Walk over?

00:06:44.000 Yeah.

00:06:45.000 Well, the other one I just watched, I said, because this guy had no status in life.

00:06:49.000 It was an older guy who moved into his...

00:06:53.000 I think it was his daughter. 0.89

00:06:55.000 His daughter would always talk about how great her dad was, and he was super involved in, like, SEAL team shit with Gorbachev and all these, like, past political dealings. 0.95

00:07:05.000 But he's in jail now because the government railroaded him. 0.92

00:07:07.000 This is what she would tell all of her dorm mates, you know, housemates in college.

00:07:12.000 But he rules.

00:07:13.000 He's the best.

00:07:13.000 He comes out of jail, and she's like, can he come live here with us for a while?

00:07:17.000 And then over the course of the next few years, he just turns his daughter's house of friends into a sex cult.

00:07:24.000 It's wild.

00:07:25.000 Yeah, I heard about that one, too.

00:07:27.000 Wow.

00:07:28.000 Yeah.

00:07:29.000 Well, there's a lot of con men out there.

00:07:31.000 What we were talking about before the podcast, there's a lot of con men out there and con women. 0.71

00:07:36.000 There's a lot of con artists.

00:07:37.000 Do they con themselves or do they think some part of them is doing a good thing?

00:07:40.000 No.

00:07:41.000 Do you think the NXIVM guy is like, I am teaching them life skills and building them up? 0.95

00:07:44.000 Yeah, I bet they lie to themselves.

00:07:46.000 There's a little bit of that in there.

00:07:48.000 What's fascinating about this holy hell thing, in the beginning the cult was amazing. 0.99

00:07:53.000 As it got older, the guy started fucking everybody. 0.99

00:07:57.000 He started fucking all the men. 1.00

00:07:58.000 That's one of the things he did as he got older. 1.00

00:08:00.000 Heterosexual men started fucking them and hypnotizing them. 1.00

00:08:02.000 And then on top of that, he started telling people to get plastic surgery so he could see what it looked like. 1.00

00:08:08.000 He wanted to get his cheeks done, so he had his followers get the cheeks done.

00:08:12.000 What happened with him is he was beautiful when he was young.

00:08:16.000 That's the guy who made the documentary.

00:08:18.000 That's Will Allen.

00:08:19.000 He's the guy who made it.

00:08:20.000 Also pretty.

00:08:21.000 Also, all the people were good looking. 1.00

00:08:24.000 Can't really put his ass on the lawn. 0.99

00:08:25.000 The picture of him up there with his arms up in the air and everyone's got their hands up, that's him older, but still ripped and jacked. 0.99

00:08:33.000 But when he was young, in the beginning of the documentary, He was a beautiful man.

00:08:38.000 Perfect features.

00:08:39.000 And this amazing body.

00:08:40.000 And he was a ballet dancer.

00:08:41.000 And he put on his fake accent.

00:08:43.000 What accent?

00:08:45.000 Like he was a guru.

00:08:48.000 Like, I am here to tell you, you are just life.

00:08:50.000 Life is beautiful. 1.00

00:08:51.000 You know, that kind of shit. 1.00

00:08:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:08:52.000 You know, I'm sure the guy, I mean, he's a fucking actor. 1.00

00:08:55.000 Do you think right away he knows, I can never get you, get out, you're not going to be part of my cult? 0.99

00:08:58.000 100%.

00:08:59.000 He just gets the weakest people.

00:09:00.000 Yeah, if you stumbled in there, first of all, he'd be like, you're not our type.

00:09:05.000 No.

00:09:05.000 You've got to be good looking.

00:09:06.000 I'll prove it.

00:09:07.000 You're not that good looking.

00:09:07.000 I love you, Jeff.

00:09:08.000 That's a good point.

00:09:09.000 You're not the best looking guy.

00:09:10.000 That's a good point.

00:09:10.000 On Gay Island, I would have trouble there.

00:09:12.000 Yeah, there would be a problem.

00:09:13.000 Yeah.

00:09:14.000 And then guys like you, or I, or any of us, we'd be like, what are you doing?

00:09:19.000 Wait a minute.

00:09:19.000 Yeah.

00:09:20.000 Come on.

00:09:21.000 What's going on here?

00:09:22.000 How do you guys make money?

00:09:23.000 Who's making money?

00:09:24.000 Where's the money going?

00:09:25.000 Yeah, you have a question early on.

00:09:27.000 Their talent is finding people who are lost and don't ask questions.

00:09:31.000 Exactly.

00:09:31.000 Who are like, I'm sure it's taken care of.

00:09:32.000 Just the idea of like, when you hear those things, like, where's the point where you have to go, hey, wait, wait, wait.

00:09:37.000 Yeah.

00:09:37.000 Wait, I don't, that doesn't make sense to me.

00:09:39.000 They all come from yoga classes.

00:09:41.000 I mean, all his guys, his people.

00:09:43.000 He would teach yoga classes in LA. And that's how I'd find them.

00:09:46.000 You know, if you go to yoga, I mean, there's a lot of people in yoga.

00:09:49.000 There's a spectrum.

00:09:50.000 But there's a certain percentage of guaranteed lost people in yoga classes.

00:09:55.000 I feel like CrossFit had that, too.

00:09:56.000 When I was doing CrossFit, like how much they...

00:09:58.000 And another thing, that's why...

00:09:59.000 Jiu-jitsu, too.

00:10:00.000 It wasn't like buying into the...

00:10:01.000 They said, before I took CrossFit, they were like, You know, some people go, ah, it's cultish, dude.

00:10:06.000 It's weird.

00:10:06.000 And I go, I don't even know what that means.

00:10:07.000 I walk in, and I do the thing that's on the board that it says to do.

00:10:11.000 At the time, I can do it.

00:10:13.000 And then I go home.

00:10:14.000 But I then did realize, after being there for like a year, I'm like, these guys are having barbecues every weekend.

00:10:19.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:21.000 And then people, the owner of the...

00:10:25.000 Of the CrossFit gym.

00:10:26.000 There was two guys who owned it.

00:10:28.000 Both married guys. 1.00

00:10:29.000 I think both of them started fucking girls in the class. 1.00

00:10:33.000 At least one of them did for sure. 1.00

00:10:35.000 And the family broke up.

00:10:35.000 And he was very publicly with this much younger girl from class.

00:10:39.000 It was wild.

00:10:39.000 There's going to be a segment of the class that wants the approval of the teacher.

00:10:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:43.000 Like, real bad.

00:10:44.000 This guy, they would call him the teacher.

00:10:46.000 Wow.

00:10:46.000 He had all these different, well here's the thing, his name was Jaime Gomez, so he had to change it right away.

00:10:54.000 You can't fly with that.

00:10:56.000 Jaime Gomez fixes Toyotas.

00:11:00.000 Jaime Gomez is on the Canelo Alvarez undercar.

00:11:02.000 He doesn't bring you the answers from the universe.

00:11:05.000 That's him when he was already older and looking creepy.

00:11:07.000 If you go to like, go to his name, Jaime Gomez, Rosemary's Baby.

00:11:12.000 I don't think he called him, I think he called himself Michelle back then.

00:11:16.000 He changed his name three times.

00:11:18.000 Four times.

00:11:19.000 Okay, so he changes his name, that's him right there.

00:11:22.000 Like, look at that.

00:11:24.000 Like, beautiful man.

00:11:25.000 The guy with the white.

00:11:26.000 That's him and Rosemary's Baby.

00:11:28.000 So, you know.

00:11:29.000 So hypnotic, right?

00:11:31.000 Just something about people with beautiful features, they can talk more people into things, right?

00:11:35.000 Perfect skin, right?

00:11:36.000 So this guy is ripped, he's walking around in a Speedo, and he's saying all these things that in the beginning make everybody happy. 0.55

00:11:42.000 And he does this thing where he puts them in a meditative state and he touches their forehead and he tells them that when he touches their forehead they're going to experience orgasms and feel the universe. 0.99

00:11:54.000 And these people, they're legitimately tripping balls. 0.95

00:11:57.000 Because it's the power of suggestion and hypnotism. 0.88

00:12:01.000 So he's hypnotizing these people, and then he's putting his...

00:12:03.000 Like, in the beginning of the cult, it's amazing.

00:12:06.000 Like, no one seems to have a problem in the beginning.

00:12:08.000 That's the thing about these things. 1.00

00:12:10.000 When you watch the beginning of Wild Wild Country, same shit. 1.00

00:12:13.000 The beginning looks amazing. 1.00

00:12:14.000 It was like, I want to join.

00:12:16.000 That's what my friend Todd said to me.

00:12:18.000 He goes, dude, I want to shut it off after episode one.

00:12:21.000 It's great.

00:12:22.000 Let's get out there.

00:12:23.000 He's like, I want to go find them.

00:12:24.000 I want to join!

00:12:26.000 It looks like they're having a good time! 1.00

00:12:27.000 Because most people live these fucking miserable lives, doing a job they don't like to do, and if someone will tell you, like, you've got a community, we eat together, we pray together, they all meditated together, they all splashed around the water, it looks like they're having a great fucking time! 0.99

00:12:42.000 But as the guy gets older, he gets creepier. 0.99

00:12:46.000 And the cult awareness network goes after him.

00:12:48.000 So he has to leave L.A. in the middle of the night.

00:12:51.000 And he moves to Texas.

00:12:52.000 And so he sets up shop in Texas.

00:12:55.000 How are they not going to find him in Texas?

00:12:56.000 Changed his name again.

00:12:58.000 This is the 90s.

00:12:58.000 Pre-internet.

00:12:59.000 Pre-internet.

00:13:00.000 90s, bro.

00:13:01.000 This is the 90s.

00:13:03.000 He starts the cult in like 81. So in the early 90s, there's these weirdos splashing around in Barton Springs holding hands with this guy.

00:13:11.000 We're Speedos and an eyeliner like what the fuck and that's where they go. 0.97

00:13:15.000 He changes his name from Michelle to Andreas and so Andreas is now he's getting older He starts getting weird and one of the things he starts doing is fucking with his face He starts like shoving cheek things and pulling things back and lips He looks fucking weird and he just he's hanging on to Like, 0.98

00:13:35.000 his good looks, and it throws them off, because it doesn't fly with his message. 0.97

00:13:40.000 Your body is a vessel.

00:13:42.000 Your body is just a vessel.

00:13:43.000 I know you're getting cut up.

00:13:43.000 You are God.

00:13:44.000 We are all God.

00:13:46.000 You know, it's like, but now all of a sudden, he's like getting facial surgery, and they're like, huh.

00:13:49.000 And so then a guy leaves. 0.98

00:13:50.000 He was more gay than leader. 0.83

00:14:01.000 It's a fascinating documentary, man. 0.88

00:14:04.000 I love all those things.

00:14:05.000 I love when you watch one of these things. 0.99

00:14:07.000 That one, the dude who fucked the whole family in Utah. 0.99

00:14:11.000 That was great. 0.99

00:14:11.000 But you're watching, you're just like, how do I not know about this? 0.99

00:14:14.000 Dude, I think there's certain people that, I mean, I think this is why cults work.

00:14:18.000 I think this is why some people become religious zealots and suicide bombers. 0.99

00:14:22.000 There's certain people that are just fucking really gullible, man. 0.99

00:14:27.000 You can get them. 0.99

00:14:28.000 Well, not one of them ever.

00:14:30.000 Most of them, when they're interviewed afterwards, when they're out, they always say that same line of like, I know what cults were.

00:14:37.000 And in fact, when they would explain to people what was going on, they'd be like, I know what you're thinking.

00:14:42.000 This isn't a cult.

00:14:44.000 It's just a bunch of people living together, dressing the same, doing whatever.

00:14:47.000 They talk about it in the documentary.

00:14:49.000 They explain a cult while they keep telling you, like, no, it's not that.

00:14:52.000 We just all eat out of the same tray.

00:14:54.000 We don't eat proteins.

00:14:55.000 In the documentary, they were saying, well, they were joking around that everybody thinks it's a cult.

00:15:00.000 And they're like, well, if we're in a cult, at least we're in a good one.

00:15:04.000 And it was for a long time until one guy leaves the cult and sends out a mass email. 0.98

00:15:10.000 It's like, hey man, this guy's been hypnotizing me and fucking me for the past 10 years. 0.98

00:15:13.000 Really? 1.00

00:15:14.000 Yeah.

00:15:14.000 He found out he was being hypnotized.

00:15:15.000 Oh, I mean, he's doing hypnotherapy on them.

00:15:17.000 Wow.

00:15:18.000 Remember in Boston?

00:15:19.000 He's putting them in states.

00:15:20.000 Remember in Boston that hypnotist?

00:15:21.000 Frank Santos.

00:15:22.000 Yeah, and we saw a door guy pass out.

00:15:24.000 Yeah.

00:15:24.000 He tried to do the whole room and a door guy off to the left was just gone and somebody pointed it out to him.

00:15:28.000 Yeah.

00:15:29.000 That door guy would be like a candidate.

00:15:31.000 Yeah.

00:15:32.000 Yes.

00:15:32.000 Yeah.

00:15:33.000 Well, when we used to do Stitches, when Greg Fitzsimmons and I were coming up in Boston, Frank Santos was the fucking man. 0.95

00:15:38.000 And we would all go watch because it was a comedy hypnotism show. 0.98

00:15:42.000 It was fun.

00:15:43.000 And he would put people under.

00:15:44.000 And some people he couldn't put under.

00:15:46.000 Some people were just in front.

00:15:47.000 Because you're doing it.

00:15:48.000 It's not like you could get hypnotized if you wanted to in a relaxed setting.

00:15:52.000 I had it done once.

00:15:53.000 It's very interesting.

00:15:54.000 My friend Vinnie Shorman, he hypnotizes fighters and he gets to like get to the root of like whatever their conflict in their mind is and try to sort things out, make them perform better.

00:16:04.000 It's not what you're thinking.

00:16:05.000 That's why I always don't believe in it because it's not what I'm...

00:16:07.000 They're not like, you know, when your eyes are open, like walk that way.

00:16:10.000 Maybe not you.

00:16:12.000 Here's my concern.

00:16:13.000 Maybe some people you can do that too.

00:16:16.000 This is what I think.

00:16:17.000 I think what I experienced was like a different state of mind.

00:16:21.000 It seemed like, I'm like, wow, this is like a drug.

00:16:24.000 Like, I'm on a drug.

00:16:24.000 I mean, this is very strange.

00:16:25.000 But it was very pleasant, and it was very, I was present and pleasant.

00:16:32.000 It was like I was right there, and I was like looking at things from a different angle.

00:16:36.000 It's almost like I had removed some layers of clothing that was like my conditioning in life.

00:16:41.000 I got to look at things.

00:16:43.000 I'm like, this is very much like a psychedelic drug.

00:16:45.000 Someone described to me once where I heard, actually I think it was on Howard Stern also, a hypnotist that came on that does their thing, said, this is essentially in a level of hypnotizing.

00:16:54.000 If they're listening to this while driving in a car, and they're just like not even thinking, they're just kind of like, but it's still a state of hypnosis when you're just kind of driving and not thinking.

00:17:04.000 You're not hitting cars, you're not in danger of crashing, you're just like on this complete present autopilot.

00:17:10.000 Doesn't that weird you out when you find yourself doing that? 0.99

00:17:12.000 You're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:17:13.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:17:13.000 Yeah, like, I'm doing everything right. 0.99

00:17:15.000 I'm on the right road.

00:17:16.000 I'm in the right lane.

00:17:16.000 I'm not speeding.

00:17:17.000 You're like, I forgot if the last three lights were green.

00:17:19.000 Yeah, but how did I... Just baby dragging behind you. 1.00

00:17:21.000 How am I just zoning out while I'm driving?

00:17:23.000 You're like, those last lights were green, right?

00:17:25.000 I'm not crazy.

00:17:26.000 Dude, it's so frustrating watching people text and drive.

00:17:28.000 You watch them weave into the lane. 1.00

00:17:30.000 Pull your fucking phone down when you drive. 1.00

00:17:32.000 You can see it ahead. 1.00

00:17:33.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:17:33.000 You're like, that's a texter for sure. 1.00

00:17:34.000 100%.

00:17:35.000 I always want to pull up to him.

00:17:36.000 Just look at him.

00:17:37.000 Too dangerous.

00:17:38.000 Look at him texting.

00:17:39.000 He's a fucking jackass. 1.00

00:17:40.000 You know what I do when they're texting at a red light and they're looking down? 1.00

00:17:43.000 I'll just like honk next to them. 0.82

00:17:45.000 And so they just start going before it's...

00:17:47.000 Look up.

00:17:49.000 Well, you don't have to do that now with CarPlay. 1.00

00:17:51.000 CarPlay is the shit. 1.00

00:17:53.000 You just speak your text? 1.00

00:17:54.000 Yeah, man.

00:17:55.000 I do it all the time. 0.99

00:17:56.000 I take care of so much shit when I'm on my way to work. 1.00

00:17:59.000 I can say, text Big J, go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:18:02.000 Bam. 1.00

00:18:03.000 And it says, go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Send it. 1.00

00:18:05.000 And I go, yes, send it.

00:18:07.000 I don't know what this...

00:18:08.000 In my car, one time me and Dan Soder were driving somewhere, and I was like, hey Siri, or whatever you gotta say.

00:18:16.000 And it was like, hey Siri.

00:18:19.000 And it was like, what would you like me to do?

00:18:22.000 And Soder just goes... 1.00

00:18:24.000 Suck my dick. 1.00

00:18:26.000 And then the car goes, okay. 1.00

00:18:29.000 I have no idea why.

00:18:30.000 I went, okay. 1.00

00:18:31.000 Texting suck my dick to Anthony Cumia. 1.00

00:18:35.000 Oh, that's hilarious. 1.00

00:18:37.000 That's hilarious.

00:18:38.000 I've never texted Anthony Cumia ever. 1.00

00:18:41.000 Hey, suck my dick, by the way. 1.00

00:18:43.000 If you have a shitty microphone... 1.00

00:18:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:47.000 In your car, it'll fuck up. 0.78

00:18:48.000 Mine does that when it's like, call so-and-so, and they're like, calling this other person. 0.93

00:18:51.000 You're like, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop.

00:18:52.000 Mine, you know, I wear those little AirPods, and sometimes I pick up the wrong ones.

00:18:57.000 I have ones that I have for the sauna, and then ones for real world.

00:19:00.000 Yeah.

00:19:00.000 And the ones for the sauna, they get cooked.

00:19:03.000 They go bad.

00:19:04.000 Yeah, they go bad.

00:19:04.000 So, like, the microphone's bad.

00:19:05.000 I'm talking to people. 1.00

00:19:06.000 They're like, where the fuck are you? 0.99

00:19:07.000 I'm like, alright, this mic's bad. 0.99

00:19:09.000 It's cooked.

00:19:10.000 It's over. 1.00

00:19:10.000 So you get sweat in it and shit, and it gets fucked up. 1.00

00:19:13.000 But they still play music. 0.99

00:19:14.000 Like, you can still listen to audiobooks on them.

00:19:17.000 That never dies.

00:19:18.000 But the microphone dies.

00:19:19.000 The microphone's gone?

00:19:19.000 Oh.

00:19:20.000 And so if I do that, like, hey Siri, call Ari Shaffir, it's like, you know, texting Greg Fitzsimmons.

00:19:25.000 It could be anybody. 0.99

00:19:25.000 It doesn't know what the fuck you're saying. 0.99

00:19:27.000 Aaron Snapper. 1.00

00:19:28.000 It'll play a book for you.

00:19:30.000 I like it'll just keep guessing wrong, though.

00:19:31.000 It never goes, I don't get it.

00:19:33.000 You gotta understand.

00:19:34.000 What are you saying?

00:19:35.000 One day it's gonna talk to you, like, hey Jay, is that really what you want to say to your friend?

00:19:39.000 Why don't you reconsider it?

00:19:41.000 Think about this. 1.00

00:19:42.000 Suck my dick, really? 1.00

00:19:44.000 To Anthony Cumia. 1.00

00:19:45.000 Are you ready to burn that bridge? 1.00

00:19:47.000 Do you think perhaps that Anthony Cumia is gay and are you gay? 0.99

00:19:51.000 Is that what you're trying to do with the text?

00:19:52.000 Can I get some context?

00:19:53.000 Is this more about you than him?

00:19:55.000 What if you opt in for AI to give you advice?

00:20:00.000 Like what if you opt in for that?

00:20:04.000 Like high mathematical probability advice?

00:20:07.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:20:07.000 If you opt in, so if you say, text Anthony Cumia, suck my dick, and it's like, Big J, what are we doing? 1.00

00:20:15.000 I need some context here, first of all. 0.99

00:20:17.000 Why are we doing this? 1.00

00:20:17.000 Are you saying suck my dick because that's what you would like him to do? 1.00

00:20:20.000 And are you gay? 1.00

00:20:22.000 Or are you being insulting? 0.99

00:20:23.000 Is this known as a rap classic projection?

00:20:27.000 Is this what you want?

00:20:29.000 Do you really want to put that energy out there in the world?

00:20:32.000 The voice AI is gonna be a problem.

00:20:36.000 Does it sound like it?

00:20:36.000 That's gonna be because we made that joke when Soder left the bonfire.

00:20:40.000 Like they gave us that program.

00:20:42.000 They go look and you just type whatever and Soder's voice will say.

00:20:47.000 Anything.

00:20:48.000 Anything you want.

00:20:49.000 It's crazy.

00:20:50.000 There's full podcasts of me having podcasts with people that I never talked to like Steve Jobs.

00:20:55.000 There's a whole conversation with me and Steve Jobs apparently.

00:20:58.000 That people just did on AI. I think they did it all on AI. They can do anything.

00:21:01.000 Now, it's over.

00:21:02.000 Like, it's over.

00:21:03.000 Like, any idea of what is or is not the truth, it's gonna become a real problem.

00:21:08.000 Do we have a date on it?

00:21:09.000 Because I feel like I heard about it one day.

00:21:10.000 Chat GPS. Well, it just keeps going.

00:21:13.000 I mean, it's four right now.

00:21:14.000 It's gonna get to five, and it's gonna...

00:21:16.000 What, level?

00:21:17.000 Yeah, it's like different levels of it.

00:21:18.000 Like early VR versus now is like miles different.

00:21:22.000 Nobody's getting nauseous anymore. 1.00

00:21:23.000 Fuck, I just had a question. 0.99

00:21:24.000 I can't remember what it was. 0.99

00:21:25.000 No, I feel like it's...

00:21:25.000 What were we just talking about?

00:21:26.000 It hasn't changed as much.

00:21:27.000 Catchy BT going forward?

00:21:30.000 Yeah, no.

00:21:30.000 AI making decisions for you or giving a suggestion?

00:21:33.000 I'm not going to remember.

00:21:34.000 But it has something to do with it.

00:21:38.000 The voice podcast that looked like you?

00:21:40.000 Oh, yeah, using my voice.

00:21:42.000 Oh, no, this is what it was. 0.99

00:21:43.000 That fucking TikTok ban. 0.99

00:21:45.000 Like, what is this actual law? 0.99

00:21:47.000 Oh, that bill has nothing to do with TikTok, yeah.

00:21:49.000 Yeah, it has nothing to do with TikTok.

00:21:51.000 It's all about having power to restrict access to...

00:21:56.000 What's the deal with TikTok?

00:21:57.000 Let's pull it up.

00:21:57.000 Let's figure out what it is.

00:21:58.000 When did TikTok become like a fucking evil? 0.99

00:22:00.000 Well, first of all, they nailed it. 0.99

00:22:01.000 Adam Curry doesn't think they are.

00:22:03.000 Adam Curry's perspective, when I talked to him, and Adam Curry's brilliant, he said he thinks that they're eating tech in America's lunch, and they're trying to block them out because it's a Chinese-owned company. 0.94

00:22:14.000 And because they're saying that China's scooping up all the data, guess what?

00:22:17.000 He goes, that's exactly what these other companies are doing, too.

00:22:20.000 They're all scooping up your data.

00:22:21.000 The idea that your data is going to China is a problem.

00:22:23.000 What does that mean?

00:22:24.000 It goes to China?

00:22:25.000 It's because China represents competition, and they developed an app that's the most addictive app ever. 0.99

00:22:31.000 Sure.

00:22:32.000 That's just Adam Curry.

00:22:33.000 Is it Adam Curry?

00:22:34.000 MTV original VJ? Yeah, that guy's the shit. 1.00

00:22:36.000 He's a huge tech guy. 1.00

00:22:37.000 Do you know what? 0.99

00:22:38.000 He's the fucking original podcaster. 1.00

00:22:39.000 He's the podfather. 1.00

00:22:41.000 He's number one.

00:22:42.000 A couple things he was ground level on.

00:22:44.000 He's super deep in on the internet, man.

00:22:47.000 Yeah, it seems the same.

00:22:48.000 Seems like it's just an app that they're making money off ads.

00:22:50.000 But I will say, what I've never seen before, because Christine, my girlfriend, is like...

00:22:55.000 She's on a non-stop.

00:22:56.000 And I really like...

00:22:57.000 No, she stops herself now, but the fact that you're in a position where you have to stop yourself, and like, she can't wait for me to go to the bathroom, whatever, so she can just start seeing more of them.

00:23:06.000 And I'm genuinely afraid...

00:23:08.000 Try but I almost like almost at the same rate I want to try crack once like see what all the hubbubs about I want to go on and be like is it getting I'm not into watching Bite-sized videos over there.

00:23:19.000 It's not my thing.

00:23:20.000 What it does is it finds what you're into and one of the ways I know that is my 12 year old and my 14 year old have fucking completely different feeds They talk about it like my 12 year old is into like weird facts and strange things All kinds of stuff that the 14-year-old's not into.

00:23:36.000 The 14-year-old's into dress-up videos. 0.94

00:23:39.000 People are into different shit, and that's what it'll find your thing. 0.99

00:23:42.000 It's really good at that. 0.99

00:23:43.000 But it's also super invasive.

00:23:46.000 But then the question is, how much do we know, other than what we found out from Twitter, how much do we know about what these other companies are doing?

00:23:53.000 And you just sign up for someone's app.

00:23:56.000 How about when you're talking about something and then you see a Google ad for it?

00:24:00.000 What happened there?

00:24:01.000 We all know by now.

00:24:03.000 You can turn that off.

00:24:05.000 You can turn that.

00:24:06.000 That's actually a function.

00:24:07.000 If you go into like Facebook on your phone, all of them, you put turn microphone off.

00:24:12.000 It's an option.

00:24:13.000 So it doesn't do that.

00:24:15.000 If you turn the microphone off though, the app doesn't do almost anything.

00:24:20.000 It makes you almost keep it on.

00:24:22.000 That's the only reason I have it on.

00:24:23.000 It hobbles it.

00:24:24.000 It hobbles it so it can listen to you constantly.

00:24:27.000 That's too far.

00:24:28.000 Following shopping habits or something, it's like maybe.

00:24:30.000 That's way too far.

00:24:31.000 What about like an Alexa helps you solve a crime because it was recording or something?

00:24:35.000 I hate that.

00:24:35.000 If we didn't know, if this whole thing with Edward Snowden didn't come down, we would, and that was a long time ago, if you really stop and think about it, we would have no fucking idea that there was a government full-scale surveillance Program that was on the American people like on everybody.

00:24:56.000 Yeah, like they could spy on anybody.

00:24:58.000 They don't have to have warrants anymore They're just they can do whatever they want. 0.94

00:25:02.000 They can get all your emails all your voicemails Like that is wild shit and we found out about it because a guy told everybody and then had to hide in Russia Damn it's crazy I scrapped 30 billion images from Facebook and other social media sites and gave them to cops and Oh my God. 0.92

00:25:19.000 Puts them into a perpetual police lineup. 0.96

00:25:22.000 Oh, so no more of that.

00:25:23.000 They're not in the system.

00:25:25.000 They're not in the system.

00:25:26.000 Look at that.

00:25:26.000 30 billion images from Facebook and social media sites and gave them to police.

00:25:31.000 So now they have your name and your face.

00:25:35.000 So if you have a fake ID, if you, you know, you get pulled over, they know exactly who you are, and they can run that through some fucking computer that has a database of everything over your social media, everything you've ever done.

00:25:47.000 That's so much deeper than DNA evidence, because they would say that, you know, if someone didn't have their DNA in the city, you couldn't find someone, it was their first time, like, crime, and they weren't in it now.

00:25:57.000 You could be like, did you buy a shovel recently?

00:25:59.000 Jamie, what is the law?

00:26:01.000 What is this TikTok law?

00:26:02.000 Because people are freaking out about it, and people are telling me that I have to look into it.

00:26:06.000 The Confusion is calling it the TikTok law.

00:26:08.000 The Restrict Act.

00:26:10.000 TikTok is not listed in there at all.

00:26:12.000 Right.

00:26:12.000 I'm sorry.

00:26:13.000 But it's, you know, that's like, don't say gay, Bill.

00:26:15.000 Never really says don't say gay in any of it.

00:26:18.000 Yeah, that was a misleading one.

00:26:19.000 It's very misleading.

00:26:20.000 But that's also kind of how it's being sold to people.

00:26:22.000 It's like, this is what's going to stop the bad TikTok stuff.

00:26:25.000 But it's like, hey, TikTok is not mentioned in here, so maybe it won't do that at all.

00:26:30.000 So, instead of just going after TikTok, they're making this sweeping act.

00:26:37.000 The Restrict Act is described as a systematic framework for addressing technology-based threats to the security and safety of Americans.

00:26:45.000 That sounds ominous.

00:26:46.000 It grants the Secretary of Commerce the authority to review transactions by certain foreign entities who offer information and communications technologies, products and services in order to identify, investigate and mitigate undue and unacceptable risks to the national security of the United States or its citizens.

00:27:08.000 This includes, but not limited to, impact the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy.

00:27:17.000 Sabotage or subversion of ICTs in the United States.

00:27:21.000 Boy, that could be interpreted a lot of ways.

00:27:24.000 Interference and manipulation of federal elections, which could mean you're just skeptical or you're gullible and you bought into some conspiracy theories and you're talking about them, and instead of just being able to just talk like a nonsense person, you get jacked.

00:27:40.000 So it's kind of like subverting the press.

00:27:43.000 Undermining the democratic process to steer policy and regulatory decisions in favor of the strategic objectives of a foreign adversary to the detriment of the national security of the United States.

00:27:55.000 Like, man, this is all so open to interpretation.

00:27:59.000 Like, think of those things.

00:28:02.000 Impact the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy.

00:28:05.000 That's easy to do.

00:28:06.000 You can impact it?

00:28:07.000 What if you impacted it in a positive way?

00:28:10.000 What are you saying?

00:28:11.000 Impact it?

00:28:12.000 The digital economy?

00:28:13.000 What have you done?

00:28:15.000 Do you promote a certain coin and it blows up?

00:28:18.000 Then you just impacted the digital economy.

00:28:22.000 Think about these Bitcoin guys.

00:28:25.000 If Elon posts a Dogecoin image, immediately Dogecoin goes up, right?

00:28:32.000 Doesn't that impact the digital economy?

00:28:35.000 So what does that mean? 0.95

00:28:36.000 So what if he says the crypto is bullshit because he believes it? 0.88

00:28:41.000 Well, doesn't that impact the digital economy? 0.97

00:28:43.000 Yeah, they could arrest him.

00:28:44.000 And are they talking about the digital economy that exists now, or are they talking about a centralized digital currency, which is what China does, or which is what they want to do?

00:28:53.000 Is that what they're saying though?

00:28:53.000 Are they saying that Elon Musk will be illegal for him to pump Dogecoin?

00:28:56.000 I don't know what they're saying.

00:28:58.000 The problem is the way that's, I mean obviously I'm not a lawyer, but the way that's written, scroll back down so I can read that, the way that's written, impact to the country's critical infrastructure and digital economy.

00:29:09.000 End digital economy is included in there.

00:29:12.000 What does that mean?

00:29:14.000 I don't know.

00:29:15.000 I've never made money digitally.

00:29:17.000 Yeah.

00:29:18.000 But look at this.

00:29:19.000 So this thing, information, communications, technologies, products, or services, right?

00:29:26.000 So this is ICTS. Sabotage or subversion of ICTS in the United States.

00:29:34.000 What's ICTS again?

00:29:35.000 So it's information, communications, technologies, products, or services, all right?

00:29:39.000 Okay.

00:29:41.000 In order to identify, investigate, and mitigate undue and unacceptable risk to the national security of the United States.

00:29:46.000 So if you did something, so subversion. 0.99

00:29:50.000 So imagine if you said, I think these people are full of shit, and I think what they're trying to do is gain control of the United States, and I think we should resist that. 0.99

00:29:59.000 That would fall into that. 0.99

00:30:01.000 And they're selling it as TikTok is doing this.

00:30:04.000 TikTok is subverting our elections, or TikTok is subverting our economy.

00:30:07.000 They're not even selling it that way.

00:30:09.000 They're not even selling it that way.

00:30:12.000 These countries are the foreign adversaries that may do bad stuff. 0.99

00:30:17.000 So they're like, it's a risk that they're going to do something bad with this.

00:30:20.000 Yeah, like they've listed using a VPN as a way to subvert that, which would be illegal.

00:30:24.000 And you get a gigantic fine.

00:30:26.000 Maybe 20 years in prison.

00:30:27.000 To use a VPN here?

00:30:28.000 How do you steal?

00:30:30.000 Imagine.

00:30:31.000 Imagine criminalized VPNs.

00:30:35.000 I'm always told to get a VPN. You should get a VPN. Imagine that.

00:30:37.000 Potentially criminalizing the use of a VPN service or sideloading to access services blocked from doing business in the United States under the Act due to the text stating that no person may cause or aid, abet, counsel, command, induce,

00:30:53.000 procure, permit, or approve of the doing of any Act that violates the orders issued under the Act What?

00:31:00.000 That's so confusing.

00:31:01.000 Bro, they're trying to gain more power.

00:31:03.000 This is creepy.

00:31:04.000 This is not good, and I just gotta hope that people wise up and don't pass this.

00:31:09.000 Does it seem like this is something they're passing?

00:31:12.000 I don't know that it's gotten that far.

00:31:15.000 I know it's been proposed.

00:31:16.000 Do you think there's an order to it, where it's like, first we bill China as going after Hong Kong and Taiwan?

00:31:21.000 Now we see them as the enemy.

00:31:23.000 Now a business associated with them, we can get rid of that now.

00:31:25.000 Yeah, I don't know, man.

00:31:27.000 The problem is TikTok zombifies people, so if you take it away, they're going to revolt.

00:31:32.000 Yeah, they want it.

00:31:33.000 I don't think you have to take it away, but I think that act has nothing to do with TikTok.

00:31:39.000 If people have legitimate concerns that people are abusing and overusing TikTok, that's a conversation people should have.

00:31:46.000 Sure.

00:31:47.000 But this is not that.

00:31:49.000 It's not because of that.

00:31:50.000 It's not because everyone's using it too much.

00:31:51.000 This is about what they're getting when you use it.

00:31:53.000 All that stuff seems very vague to me. 1.00

00:31:55.000 Obviously, I'm an idiot. 0.94

00:31:56.000 But all that stuff seems very vague when they're reading out what they can get you for. 0.99

00:32:00.000 And that last thing about acts that are listed as impermissible under the act or whatever the fuck the the wording was like, what the fuck is you covering all the bases?

00:32:10.000 It seems like it's so open to interpretation. 0.99

00:32:14.000 Now imagine if something like that existed during the pandemic, the beginning of pandemic where people go, you know, I don't know if these fucking masks work. 0.97

00:32:22.000 You know, you would immediately get... 0.95

00:32:24.000 That's against the public health.

00:32:25.000 That's against that.

00:32:26.000 That's right.

00:32:27.000 You'd be in legal trouble or sick.

00:32:29.000 Now we know they don't work.

00:32:30.000 So then it was, we think that you can still get sick even if you get vaccinated.

00:32:35.000 Immediately, you would get banned from things.

00:32:37.000 So this was in place.

00:32:39.000 Well, this guy got it.

00:32:39.000 Been gone.

00:32:40.000 The meme guy got found guilty for posting memes.

00:32:42.000 I don't know the exact details of his quote.

00:32:44.000 He got found guilty?

00:32:45.000 Yeah, they found him guilty.

00:32:46.000 And then what?

00:32:47.000 What does that mean?

00:32:47.000 Do you know the memes, guy?

00:32:48.000 It was a very subtle parody of Hillary Clinton.

00:32:52.000 He was, like, trying to say with this thing, like, to Hillary voters, they could just stay home and text your vote into this number.

00:33:00.000 Wasn't that it?

00:33:01.000 Something like that.

00:33:02.000 It's parody.

00:33:03.000 But they took it seriously.

00:33:04.000 Or somebody said, can you believe this is happening? 0.99

00:33:06.000 They found the dude who did it and they fucking arrested him. 0.99

00:33:09.000 What? 0.99

00:33:09.000 You tweeted that out. 0.99

00:33:11.000 Avoid the line.

00:33:12.000 Vote from home. 0.94

00:33:13.000 Text Hillary to 59925. Vote for Hillary and be a part of history. 1.00

00:33:18.000 Amazing.

00:33:19.000 I mean, amazing.

00:33:20.000 Amazing.

00:33:22.000 He was convicted today by a federal jury in Brooklyn of charge of conspiracy against the rights.

00:33:27.000 It's the context.

00:33:28.000 You took away the context of the parody.

00:33:30.000 Totally.

00:33:31.000 That's just subverting.

00:33:32.000 If you believe that was true, don't vote anyway, man.

00:33:36.000 Yeah, you shouldn't get a vote.

00:33:37.000 You shouldn't get a vote.

00:33:39.000 You shouldn't be able to vote if you get duped by that.

00:33:41.000 Yeah.

00:33:42.000 Oh, nice.

00:33:43.000 Why would anybody wait in line?

00:33:44.000 We're worried about old people, right? 1.00

00:33:46.000 Yeah.

00:33:47.000 But at a certain point in time, should you really still be voting?

00:33:49.000 If you can't drive without murdering a bunch of people at a fair, you cannot vote.

00:33:55.000 There's this recent conversation that Biden had with Don Lemon.

00:33:59.000 Have you seen it?

00:34:00.000 No.

00:34:01.000 There's this recent conversation where he's like, he asks him if he's been vaccinated.

00:34:06.000 It's very strange.

00:34:08.000 He has Biden who's vaccinated?

00:34:09.000 Now, again, I don't know if this is real.

00:34:12.000 Here's the problem.

00:34:13.000 I didn't watch it when it came out.

00:34:14.000 And with AI now...

00:34:16.000 You don't know if it's real anymore. 0.99

00:34:17.000 You don't know what the fuck is real. 0.99

00:34:18.000 I love it. 0.99

00:34:19.000 I love the idea that we're not going to believe anything in pictures.

00:34:21.000 It's only going to be real life.

00:34:22.000 But this is like a video of Biden stammering where he can't find what he's talking about.

00:34:26.000 And he's kind of drifting and talking about different things.

00:34:29.000 And none of it makes any sense to anybody.

00:34:32.000 How long goes it from?

00:34:33.000 No, it works.

00:34:34.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:34:35.000 You got the vaccination?

00:34:37.000 Yeah.

00:34:38.000 Are you okay?

00:34:39.000 I mean, you seem...

00:34:40.000 No, it works.

00:34:42.000 Or the mom and dad.

00:34:45.000 Or the neighbor.

00:34:47.000 Or when you go to church.

00:34:49.000 No, I really mean it.

00:34:51.000 There are trusted interlocutors.

00:34:53.000 Think of the people.

00:34:54.000 If your kid wanted to find out Whether or not there's a man on the moon or something, or whether those aliens are here or not, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?

00:35:09.000 I do feel sympathy.

00:35:11.000 I feel like when I smoke too much pot before a show and I go on a tangent in the middle of a joke and don't know where I'm going.

00:35:17.000 Yeah, those are fun.

00:35:17.000 That's how he sounds.

00:35:19.000 Those are fun.

00:35:20.000 Yeah, and I'm not saying, no, listen, for real though.

00:35:24.000 What was that?

00:35:26.000 You were there.

00:35:26.000 What was that?

00:35:27.000 What was that?

00:35:28.000 I don't know.

00:35:28.000 Like at that point in time, should you still be voting?

00:35:31.000 Yeah.

00:35:32.000 Like, if it wasn't the president...

00:35:33.000 I mean, if you can show...

00:35:35.000 Like, should we...

00:35:35.000 I don't want to restrict anybody's right to vote, right?

00:35:37.000 Nobody does.

00:35:38.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:35:38.000 But if you're, like, some fucking crazy crackpot QAnon person, and you've got an uncle that can't read anymore, and you take him in there to vote, like, we're gonna fucking vote with Margaret Taylor Greene. 0.98

00:35:48.000 You know, you, like, start writing things in, and, like... 0.98

00:35:52.000 How about a voting exit?

00:35:53.000 If you can't vote until you're 18, maybe you have to stop when you're like 80. Yeah, these laws aren't going to affect you.

00:36:00.000 They're going to affect us.

00:36:01.000 Yeah, I mean, stop being in line. 1.00

00:36:04.000 Yeah, every day's a gift, bitch. 1.00

00:36:06.000 Just live it out. 0.99

00:36:07.000 The video was edited just a little bit, apparently.

00:36:09.000 Oh, that's all you need.

00:36:10.000 Oh, how much was it edited?

00:36:12.000 You're trying to find out.

00:36:12.000 That's all you need.

00:36:13.000 You can't believe any of it.

00:36:14.000 Amazing, though.

00:36:15.000 That's amazing.

00:36:15.000 It looks so seamless.

00:36:17.000 Yeah, he went into a story.

00:36:18.000 He was answering his question, but then he went into a story, and it took out that part, I guess. 0.98

00:36:22.000 Oh, what cunts? 0.99

00:36:23.000 Just make him look rambling? 1.00

00:36:25.000 He fumfers around plenty, though.

00:36:27.000 He fumfers around plenty.

00:36:28.000 At some point, let's say you have the dad in a family who's leading it, then he becomes a little older and he starts going senile.

00:36:32.000 At some point, all the kids are like, we don't have to listen to him anymore, right?

00:36:35.000 Yeah, you gotta take care of him now.

00:36:37.000 Now it's like we gotta take care of dad or else he drives a lawnmower on the highway.

00:36:42.000 You know?

00:36:42.000 Yeah.

00:36:43.000 You have to take care of dad.

00:36:45.000 I have friends that have dads that are compromised.

00:36:48.000 It's a real problem.

00:36:50.000 It's like you can't leave them alone.

00:36:52.000 They don't know where they're going.

00:36:53.000 They'll just get in the car and drive.

00:36:54.000 They'll go someplace and forget how to get home.

00:36:57.000 And they don't want to get up the keys.

00:36:58.000 Well, they don't want to stop living their life.

00:37:01.000 And then sometimes you have to put them in a place where there's going to be medical supervisors watching over them.

00:37:08.000 Because they don't know what's going on.

00:37:10.000 How awful is it?

00:37:11.000 Horrible.

00:37:12.000 Bruce Willis knows it's coming.

00:37:14.000 He's not even there yet.

00:37:18.000 It's incurable what he's got. 1.00

00:37:19.000 He's pretty fucked up. 0.99

00:37:21.000 He's got something called aphasia. 1.00

00:37:22.000 And then there's also some other diagnosis that he got recently, like some form of dementia.

00:37:27.000 No.

00:37:28.000 Yeah, some neurodegenerative type deal.

00:37:31.000 It won't get better, and he's aware that over the next probably year, I guess, or so, he's going to become not aware of what's going on around him.

00:37:39.000 God, what causes that?

00:37:41.000 What would you do?

00:37:43.000 Would you just go into senility, or would you handle it?

00:37:46.000 I would try mushrooms.

00:37:47.000 Yeah.

00:37:48.000 Because, you know, the neurodegenerative process of, like, any kind of a disease like that, I would imagine when you talk about...

00:37:55.000 What is the...

00:37:56.000 There's a thing that mushrooms can do.

00:37:59.000 Change your neural pathway?

00:38:00.000 Is it, like, lion's mane and...

00:38:02.000 Golden teachers.

00:38:03.000 And psilocybin.

00:38:05.000 They apparently can help to grow neurons, which is very, very unusual.

00:38:11.000 There's something about it.

00:38:12.000 Psychedelic drugs actually help neurons in the brain sprout new dendrites, which look like branches on a tree, to increase communication between cells.

00:38:22.000 These drugs can increase neural outgrowth.

00:38:25.000 They can increase the branching of neurons.

00:38:27.000 They can increase your synapses.

00:38:29.000 So I would imagine if it can do that, That there's probably some benefit if someone's got something wrong with their mind, and it seems like it's feeding the mind.

00:38:40.000 Maybe.

00:38:41.000 Yeah, it's worth a try.

00:38:42.000 May as well.

00:38:43.000 Dude, that's the greatest theory of all time is Terrence McKenna's stoned ape theory.

00:38:47.000 They just evolved them?

00:38:48.000 I think that's how people became people, that we were primates and we stumbled upon mushrooms and we started eating them and then we became better hunters.

00:38:57.000 We got smarter.

00:38:57.000 If it does that, doesn't that make sense?

00:38:59.000 If you're a monkey and you're eating mushrooms all the time, you probably figure out things.

00:39:05.000 I'd like to imagine it happened instantly, where the mushrooms, the monkeys eat it, and then suddenly they're like, what?!

00:39:11.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:39:11.000 There's a video on that. 0.71

00:39:12.000 You just got back? 1.00

00:39:13.000 Like, yeah, what the fuck? 0.99

00:39:14.000 There's a video. 0.99

00:39:15.000 Although no one I know who takes...

00:39:17.000 Yeah, this dude Bob Seska, he made a video.

00:39:18.000 Nobody I know who takes tons and tons of mushrooms, though, seems like they're evolving.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, true.

00:39:23.000 No, that's a very good point.

00:39:25.000 Their fashion stops changing.

00:39:26.000 They never seem like, no, dude, I'm above you.

00:39:31.000 You gotta help.

00:39:32.000 Do you know what?

00:39:32.000 You have it already?

00:39:33.000 Oh, that's it.

00:39:35.000 Yeah.

00:39:36.000 No, no, no, no.

00:39:37.000 That's a very good likeness of you, Joe.

00:39:39.000 That's not it.

00:39:40.000 I'll find it.

00:39:41.000 I'm sorry, Jamie.

00:39:41.000 I'll find it.

00:39:42.000 Talk amongst yourselves.

00:39:44.000 Well, we got Big J's special coming out right now. 1.00

00:39:46.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:39:48.000 Dog belly. 1.00

00:39:48.000 Coming out right now. 1.00

00:39:49.000 How excited are you, Jay?

00:39:50.000 I'm so excited.

00:39:52.000 Ari came in and showed me everything I would have never known how to do at all in special making.

00:40:00.000 That's the funniest when I tell people is that when Ari was like, I'll help you, I was like, alright, so I guess now we start the process of hiring the first of, what, 50 people we have to hire?

00:40:10.000 You have zero clue.

00:40:11.000 You just gotta hire a producer.

00:40:13.000 Yeah.

00:40:14.000 He's like, how do you find a lighting guy?

00:40:15.000 I'm like, no, we don't.

00:40:17.000 Someone else.

00:40:17.000 Do I have to go to a boom microphone store?

00:40:20.000 Interview them?

00:40:23.000 But yeah, Ari walked me through.

00:40:24.000 So yeah, I'm pumped, man.

00:40:26.000 When was your last one?

00:40:28.000 Hold on, we'll talk about it.

00:40:28.000 Nope, that's not it.

00:40:30.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:40:31.000 This is crazy. 0.99

00:40:32.000 I have so many videos on my phone. 1.00

00:40:33.000 I'm such an idiot. 1.00

00:40:35.000 Oh, I found it. 1.00

00:40:36.000 I found it.

00:40:37.000 Here it goes.

00:40:38.000 Bob Seska.

00:40:39.000 I actually had him make this back in like...

00:40:45.000 Man, I want to say, like, the 90s.

00:40:48.000 It might have been, like, 2000 or something like that, or 2001. And you made it a chimp instantly changing? 1.00

00:40:54.000 Did you get it?

00:40:56.000 It's the Stone Dape Theory. 0.54

00:40:59.000 Like, go full screen.

00:41:00.000 Oh, my God!

00:41:26.000 My name is Steve.

00:41:55.000 How dope is that? 0.99

00:41:57.000 Damn. 0.99

00:41:58.000 That's cool. 1.00

00:42:02.000 Okay, I fucked up. 0.99

00:42:04.000 I fucked up. 1.00

00:42:04.000 That's not Bob Seska. 1.00

00:42:05.000 That's not the one he made fun of.

00:42:07.000 That's a different one.

00:42:07.000 But that one's awesome.

00:42:09.000 Who did that? 0.91

00:42:10.000 Can you find out who made that?

00:42:12.000 If that's possible?

00:42:13.000 That was on Comedy Central.

00:42:14.000 It's funny that it's on Comedy Central, and then the video underneath of it said, like, it was, why the stoned ape theory is bad.

00:42:22.000 It was on Comedy Central, first of all.

00:42:24.000 Like, relax.

00:42:25.000 The Bob Tesco one, now I remember, was different.

00:42:27.000 It had, like, aliens and laser beams.

00:42:29.000 That one was cool.

00:42:30.000 Yeah, do you remember that one?

00:42:31.000 No, this one was cool. 0.76

00:42:32.000 That was dope as fuck, but that was not the one that I had anything to do with. 0.96

00:42:35.000 But that's Terence McKenna's theory. 0.99

00:42:37.000 He thinks that they just started eating mushrooms and figuring things out.

00:42:41.000 It's backed by climate science.

00:42:43.000 Because that was, at the time, there's a giant jump in human brain size.

00:42:48.000 Over a period of like two million years, the human brain doubles, which is bananas, apparently.

00:42:53.000 And so what it coincides with...

00:42:56.000 Tip Tank.

00:42:58.000 Trip Tank.

00:42:59.000 Trip Tank.

00:42:59.000 Stoned Ape Theory.

00:43:00.000 But is that just the website that has it hosted?

00:43:03.000 Yeah, it was a show on...

00:43:04.000 Oh, that was the show called Trip Tank? 0.99

00:43:07.000 That fucking thing's awesome. 0.99

00:43:10.000 So he thinks that... 0.99

00:43:12.000 This time, this period of two million years, it coincides with these rainforests receding into grasslands. 0.77

00:43:18.000 And so the food sources change because then there's cows shitting in the grass, and then they're looking for different things to eat, and they flip over cow patties and find bugs and shit to eat.

00:43:28.000 They've always done that. 0.65

00:43:28.000 They think they ate the mushrooms too. 0.65

00:43:31.000 They tried them.

00:43:32.000 And when they ate them, they realized it makes them see better.

00:43:34.000 It increases visual acuity in low doses.

00:43:37.000 And it also makes you horny.

00:43:39.000 It produces synesthesia, which helps cultivate language.

00:43:45.000 Dennis McKenna has the best descriptive of it.

00:43:48.000 Because he's...

00:43:49.000 You know, he's Terence's brother who's like this legit scientist, a genius, and the way he breaks it down, he talks about the way psilocybin interacts with the brain is really perfectly aligned with something that would make the brain grow if primates just kept eating it and evolved into what we are now.

00:44:06.000 We might be a combination of like animal and mushroom.

00:44:12.000 They say that from another planet.

00:44:13.000 Joe, you can't eat them.

00:44:14.000 I can't.

00:44:15.000 That's what I was going to say.

00:44:17.000 You're saying all these beautiful things it does.

00:44:19.000 It makes your brain grow.

00:44:20.000 What happens to you?

00:44:21.000 It's the connective tissue of language.

00:44:22.000 And if I eat them, they're just growing.

00:44:24.000 The texture and taste.

00:44:25.000 Nothing to do with all the magic of them.

00:44:32.000 I like chicken gristle in my mouth.

00:44:44.000 I go gag over a trash can for five minutes.

00:44:46.000 I like just the straight mushroom because you know what you're getting too. 1.00

00:44:50.000 You're not fucking around with some ground up pills that some hippie made. 0.66

00:44:54.000 That's why I never understand like edibles to me. 0.98

00:44:57.000 What was it point one or one? 0.59

00:44:59.000 I had a bit about someone's made like a batch of like, you know weed brownies or something you go well What if all the weeds and how do you fucking possibly know that?

00:45:07.000 Yeah, they don't each one's 30 grams.

00:45:09.000 You had a bit about the 1x 2x 3x days?

00:45:12.000 Yeah, yeah, because I had a bit about the gummy bear when the guy told me take just the leg and I go, what? 0.95

00:45:18.000 I'm like, why the fuck are you selling whole bears? 0.99

00:45:21.000 It's so ridiculous. 1.00

00:45:22.000 They were so strong. 0.98

00:45:24.000 Remember those gummies?

00:45:25.000 Those gummies hermanos! 0.75

00:45:26.000 Bro, they were so strong.

00:45:27.000 Yeah, they ruled.

00:45:28.000 They were so strong.

00:45:29.000 But that's what I'm saying.

00:45:30.000 Is there possibly no weed in the arm?

00:45:34.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:45:35.000 No, no, those guys, they had it down. 0.99

00:45:37.000 Those guys just were trying to kill you. 0.94

00:45:39.000 Dude, I gave my brother one. 0.74

00:45:41.000 He wasn't from a legal place.

00:45:43.000 And he came to meet me one day, and I gave him, he's like, get me one.

00:45:45.000 I'm like, this one, dude.

00:45:47.000 So the next day, the whole family, two different families are coming over for Passover or something.

00:45:50.000 And the next day, he's like, hey, did you take that gummy back?

00:45:52.000 And I'm like, no. 0.99

00:45:53.000 He goes, oh, shit, I can't find it. 0.99

00:45:54.000 I'm like, dude, there's like eight seven-year-olds in this house. 0.99

00:45:58.000 You have to find that gummy right now.

00:46:01.000 It's really dangerous. 0.99

00:46:02.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:46:03.000 One of the kids had it and he was hiding it. 1.00

00:46:05.000 Oh my god.

00:46:06.000 He had it and he was hiding it.

00:46:07.000 Imagine if he just ate it.

00:46:09.000 Thank god he was a little hoarder.

00:46:11.000 That's a nice way of calling us Jews. 0.73

00:46:14.000 I've never gotten the kind of high from like edibles or weed though that's like...

00:46:18.000 Edibles, you haven't?

00:46:19.000 Pallucinogenic, almost.

00:46:19.000 No, I mean, do you remember when you gave Ralph Sutton, my co-host on SDR Show?

00:46:24.000 He's Lewis's co-owner of Gas Digital.

00:46:28.000 Ralph, he took one of the stars.

00:46:30.000 Oh, yeah, stars of death.

00:46:32.000 That you gave him.

00:46:33.000 Same thing.

00:46:33.000 And he went home and was like...

00:46:35.000 But the description of something where he was like, I felt like I was on a reality show, I thought there were cameras watching me, and I'm like, from fucking weed stuff?

00:46:43.000 You ever see the video when Joey Diaz doses Owen Benjamin on the show with it? 0.64

00:46:47.000 Owen loses it, dude.

00:46:49.000 It was epic.

00:46:51.000 Yeah, Joey made a video like, I cracked him!

00:46:55.000 Is that what sent him into the woods?

00:46:57.000 I don't know, man.

00:46:58.000 Maybe, maybe.

00:46:59.000 Those are strong doses.

00:47:00.000 Joey, look, there's a real thing with that.

00:47:03.000 You know, Alex Berenson wrote a book called Tell Your Children, and it's all about instances of psychotic breaks and schizophrenic breaks from people that are heavy marijuana users.

00:47:13.000 There's like a something that happens to some people Where maybe they have a tendency to schizophrenia or maybe a tendency.

00:47:20.000 I think it's that, yeah.

00:47:21.000 Genetic predisposition or something.

00:47:22.000 And then a high dose of weed just pushes them over the edge.

00:47:26.000 And I've seen it happen. 1.00

00:47:27.000 I know people that have lost their shit. 0.99

00:47:30.000 They're not the same kind anymore. 1.00

00:47:31.000 And they don't come back?

00:47:31.000 They're not coming back.

00:47:32.000 They're not coming back.

00:47:34.000 Because most of them, they keep smoking it.

00:47:36.000 I know one guy who came back.

00:47:37.000 One guy came back.

00:47:38.000 One guy was like, I'm just watching the FBI. I'm like, dude, you're a fucking middle act. 0.99

00:47:43.000 What are you talking about? 0.99

00:47:44.000 But he came back.

00:47:45.000 He came back.

00:47:46.000 He just stopped smoking weed for a long time. 1.00

00:47:49.000 And he was one day like, wow, that was pretty crazy shit. 0.98

00:47:51.000 I can't give any more details. 0.99

00:47:52.000 But it was, he's alright.

00:47:55.000 But I know another guy who came back too.

00:47:58.000 You ever talk to Shane Moss about his like...

00:48:00.000 That's what I was thinking of.

00:48:02.000 I think 30 days, he did what every day?

00:48:05.000 Mushrooms.

00:48:05.000 Okay.

00:48:06.000 And then he like covered himself with some mud that wouldn't let the mushrooms breathe out of him.

00:48:11.000 And he went to another place.

00:48:15.000 I saw him way later and it was like, dude, I know this sounds crazy, but mathematicians are coming up to me telling me that I figured it out.

00:48:22.000 I know.

00:48:23.000 Realistically, I know.

00:48:24.000 But I'm telling you, these mathematicians are telling me I have all the answers.

00:48:27.000 Oh, boy.

00:48:28.000 Yeah.

00:48:29.000 It was wild.

00:48:30.000 He's back now, but like...

00:48:31.000 Talking to somebody who's disconnected is...

00:48:33.000 Odd.

00:48:34.000 It's so odd.

00:48:35.000 It's also trying.

00:48:37.000 It's funny for a second.

00:48:38.000 Not funny, but it's almost amusing for a second how out of it they are.

00:48:42.000 And then it's terrifying that that could happen to someone's brain.

00:48:44.000 Didn't Huberman just post something?

00:48:46.000 Someone told me that, oh, Tulsi Gabbard told me this.

00:48:50.000 Huberman just posted something about marijuana in high doses with kids is leading to an alarming number of mental illness problems.

00:49:01.000 Really?

00:49:02.000 I can see that.

00:49:03.000 They're not done developing.

00:49:04.000 Yeah, I don't remember what he wrote.

00:49:06.000 I didn't read it.

00:49:07.000 I had a couple of cocktails.

00:49:09.000 I'm listening to a conversation.

00:49:11.000 Did you guys smoke or do whatever when you were still growing?

00:49:14.000 No, I didn't.

00:49:15.000 You didn't for sure, right?

00:49:16.000 No.

00:49:17.000 I did not.

00:49:18.000 I had a couple of...

00:49:19.000 From age...

00:49:23.000 From teenage years to 30 years old, I probably smoked pot five times.

00:49:27.000 No, but I mean like 12 to 17. Nothing.

00:49:31.000 No, I didn't do anything.

00:49:32.000 Yeah, me neither.

00:49:32.000 That was the years that I was martial arts, so I very rarely did anything.

00:49:37.000 I mean, if I had a beer, I felt guilty.

00:49:39.000 My dad smoked pot, and I thought that's why he didn't show up a lot.

00:49:44.000 And so I didn't smoke pot until I was in my 20s.

00:49:46.000 And then drinking, I just, uh, I had one of those, like, tried a sip young and thought it was so gross that I was like, I couldn't imagine.

00:49:55.000 And then also, when you're young, you watch people get drunk, and it's like that rookie drunk where I'm like, I'd rather not be that guy at the party.

00:50:02.000 We gotta start teaching our kids how to drink right.

00:50:04.000 It's an embarrassment every time.

00:50:06.000 Well, it's a thing you do when you make things prohibitive.

00:50:09.000 Yeah.

00:50:10.000 You prohibit them.

00:50:11.000 It's like Catholic school girls. 0.96

00:50:12.000 When we were kids, they were always the girls that wanted to get with guys the quickest. 0.99

00:50:16.000 They were just trapped in this world of all girls wearing skirts, no guys around them, and they got out of there, they're like maniacs. 0.96

00:50:23.000 Everybody knows.

00:50:23.000 That kind of suppression doesn't work on people.

00:50:25.000 People don't like being told what to do. 0.98

00:50:27.000 They are the biggest sluts that come from that core group of people. 1.00

00:50:30.000 I wouldn't say it like that. 1.00

00:50:31.000 I would say those young ladies are hungry for the cock. 1.00

00:50:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:35.000 The world gold stars are from that group.

00:50:38.000 Have you ever seen the drinking that the...

00:50:41.000 I think the website's called Texas Street Fights?

00:50:45.000 Oh, wow.

00:50:46.000 And it's just essentially...

00:50:47.000 It's always on World Star Hip Hop, too.

00:50:50.000 Sixth Street is just chock full of gigantic women fighting until their fat guns come out. 1.00

00:50:58.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:59.000 And it seems like all the cops do is go in and...

00:51:03.000 Like, from a distance, like, pepper spray the group. 0.92

00:51:06.000 So it's just these women fighting and ass cheeks out. 1.00

00:51:08.000 And then you see, like, this spray of, like, piss coming in. 0.99

00:51:12.000 Girl fights. 0.90

00:51:13.000 Girl fights. 0.90

00:51:14.000 Look at the rest of them just eating.

00:51:15.000 Just wanting to eat there.

00:51:16.000 Oh, my God.

00:51:17.000 Oh, my God.

00:51:18.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:51:19.000 I don't want to watch this, man.

00:51:20.000 These are really good cameras.

00:51:22.000 You should have to walk outside once in a while what's happening.

00:51:25.000 Is that 6th Street?

00:51:25.000 That's why I got the front.

00:51:27.000 Over by the...

00:51:28.000 I don't like street fights.

00:51:29.000 By the highway.

00:51:30.000 I don't.

00:51:31.000 I should like street fights.

00:51:31.000 Your head hits the pavement.

00:51:32.000 It's not fair. 0.99

00:51:33.000 I like the idea of them and then it's very quickly like a reality check where you go, someone could get fucked up. 0.99

00:51:39.000 Yeah, really fucked up, man. 0.99

00:51:40.000 It's super dangerous. 1.00

00:51:42.000 It's so dumb. 0.99

00:51:43.000 But entertaining. 1.00

00:51:45.000 It's just booze.

00:51:46.000 It's always booze.

00:51:47.000 It's definitely coke, too.

00:51:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:48.000 Coke starts that shit. 1.00

00:51:50.000 Let's not discount coke. 1.00

00:51:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:51.000 It's just fucking so dumb. 1.00

00:51:53.000 But people just, when I was here, it was for Moon Tower last time, we were at that burger plate, Pete Harry's, waiting in line, and they're like, that's particularly the outside of that place, this is like a late night spot, that is just always drama going on, and there was like preppy white dudes in some kind of an argument with Latino girls. 0.99

00:52:14.000 The girls' boyfriends were almost telling...

00:52:17.000 The Hispanic guys were almost like, stop. 1.00

00:52:20.000 Leave it alone.

00:52:21.000 Whatever the problem is, the dudes were kind of just over it.

00:52:24.000 Like, who cares?

00:52:24.000 And the lady just kept cursing out this tall, nerdy kid.

00:52:29.000 And then she went over and he was just like, all right, shut up. 0.97

00:52:34.000 Enough already. 0.55

00:52:34.000 And she took her phone. 0.55

00:52:37.000 And I mean, hit him.

00:52:38.000 I've never seen something like this happen before.

00:52:40.000 She hit him right across the forehead.

00:52:42.000 And he was kind of like, it didn't seem like it hurt him that much at first.

00:52:45.000 He was like, whoa, hey.

00:52:47.000 And then you just saw the line.

00:52:48.000 The blood.

00:52:49.000 Like, form, yeah.

00:52:50.000 So it runs down.

00:52:50.000 You're like, yo, she split him.

00:52:52.000 Wow.

00:52:53.000 Hard.

00:52:54.000 And they drag it.

00:52:54.000 And then, but this is what's amazing.

00:52:56.000 This is Texas, dude, which I love. 0.99

00:52:58.000 While that's happening, we're like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:53:00.000 And we're like, number 68. Oreo milkshake. 0.99

00:53:06.000 Oreo shake! 0.98

00:53:07.000 They see it every weekend. 1.00

00:53:09.000 Dude, having a girl like that in your life can get you killed. 1.00

00:53:14.000 Dude, my ex-wife, one of our early dates. 1.00

00:53:16.000 Or get you put in jail for killing somebody, like one of those guys. 0.95

00:53:19.000 Yeah.

00:53:19.000 We went outside, me and Lister and Cantor were out there, and we saw a guy holding a purse and a girl trying to wrestle it from him.

00:53:25.000 And then Cantor's like, we gotta go out and say something.

00:53:27.000 And so we went out, they were like, ma'am, are you alright? 1.00

00:53:29.000 She goes, mind your own fucking business! 1.00

00:53:31.000 And then Cantor's like, dude, she's gonna get you killed. 1.00

00:53:33.000 And then we just walked back in. 0.91

00:53:34.000 Who said you should do that?

00:53:37.000 I stayed inside. 0.99

00:53:38.000 Unless it gets violent, I'm not doing shit. 0.99

00:53:43.000 Just screaming and arguing because they'll go after you. 0.99

00:53:47.000 That's what cops always say.

00:53:48.000 Almost 100% of the time.

00:53:50.000 Yeah, to be that guy, I don't think I've done it, but I've definitely watched it backfire quick. 0.98

00:53:58.000 It's fucking dangerous. 0.91

00:53:59.000 It's like, hey dude, I think the lady wants to be left alone. 1.00

00:54:02.000 And she's like, fuck off! 1.00

00:54:03.000 That's what cops say. 1.00

00:54:05.000 Cops say when they show up, sometimes the women will attack them. 1.00

00:54:07.000 We're fighting.

00:54:08.000 Get out of here. 0.99

00:54:09.000 Yeah, it's fucking scary. 0.99

00:54:11.000 I was just wearing them out. 0.99

00:54:13.000 I was getting ready to take the late rounds. 1.00

00:54:15.000 People lose their fucking minds when they fight with each other. 0.99

00:54:19.000 The cops always say that the scariest thing is going to a domestic case. 1.00

00:54:24.000 Yeah.

00:54:24.000 Oh, yeah.

00:54:26.000 It's the most emotion, yeah. 0.99

00:54:28.000 Both of them are fucking drunk. 0.99

00:54:30.000 Someone's got a gun. 1.00

00:54:31.000 Guy runs into the room. 0.99

00:54:32.000 You don't know what the fuck to do. 1.00

00:54:33.000 You're a cop. 1.00

00:54:33.000 You're standing there. 1.00

00:54:34.000 The guy comes out with the gun. 1.00

00:54:36.000 Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

00:54:37.000 Do you shoot him? 1.00

00:54:38.000 Like, what are you doing here?

00:54:40.000 See, I think the fear of that situation, though.

00:54:42.000 How scary is that? 1.00

00:54:42.000 Because he's so enraged because of his fucking wife. 1.00

00:54:44.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:54:45.000 And you're a cop. 0.99

00:54:46.000 You've got to fucking assess this, like, instantaneously. 1.00

00:54:48.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:54:49.000 You know... 1.00

00:54:50.000 You get some information from the phone, right?

00:54:52.000 On the way in, the office tells you. 1.00

00:54:56.000 But once you get there, like, fuck. 0.99

00:54:58.000 I'd lay everybody on the floor instantly, every time, no matter what. 1.00

00:55:01.000 Get on your fucking face. 1.00

00:55:02.000 Get on your fucking face right now. 1.00

00:55:03.000 That's the Israeli in them. 1.00

00:55:04.000 Clear every room, and then be like, alright, now let's talk.

00:55:07.000 Navy SEAL style.

00:55:07.000 Yep, exactly.

00:55:08.000 Take no chances. 0.99

00:55:10.000 Well, you'd kill a lot more people that way. 0.99

00:55:12.000 By doing that? 0.92

00:55:13.000 Yeah, for sure, because people would definitely...

00:55:15.000 Fight back on their back.

00:55:15.000 Some people can calm people down.

00:55:18.000 Some people can calm people down.

00:55:20.000 I'm not that guy.

00:55:20.000 But some people you can't calm down.

00:55:22.000 Some people, like, you can get into some guys on PCP and they're fucking full rage. 0.99

00:55:26.000 When you're holding a gun on them, they don't give a shit. 1.00

00:55:28.000 Yeah, wow. 0.99

00:55:28.000 You're not going to be able to calm them down. 0.99

00:55:30.000 Well, some people also want to die.

00:55:32.000 Oof.

00:55:32.000 There's that.

00:55:33.000 And, like, they want to die by cop.

00:55:34.000 That's a real thing, too. 0.98

00:55:36.000 Suicide by cop.

00:55:37.000 Yeah, it's a real thing.

00:55:38.000 It's grand.

00:55:39.000 Yeah, they give it to him, too.

00:55:40.000 Yeah.

00:55:41.000 They give it to him.

00:55:42.000 I mean, and for the cop, the cop's got to deal with that.

00:55:46.000 I know.

00:55:46.000 It's funny when, uh, man, I forget what it was I was watching years ago.

00:55:50.000 It was a guy that was trying to do that.

00:55:52.000 Suicide by cop.

00:55:53.000 And they had, uh, it wasn't even, like, in America, they had a sniper.

00:55:59.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:56:01.000 Like, a rooftop away across the street or something.

00:56:06.000 And he was describing, like, when the guy was holding the gun, and he kept, like, he just noticed that he mimicked emotion more than once.

00:56:12.000 Like, kind of naturally, he kept doing the same thing with the gun.

00:56:15.000 And, like, the fourth time he raised the gun up, he shoots the gun out of his hand.

00:56:20.000 And then the guy just goes and, like, lays down.

00:56:22.000 Oh, wow.

00:56:23.000 It's pretty wild.

00:56:23.000 Oh, I saw that.

00:56:24.000 That's insane. 1.00

00:56:25.000 He wanted to die, but when that guy showed up his hands, he just realized how he's like, holy shit! 1.00

00:56:32.000 What the fuck just happened? 1.00

00:56:34.000 You don't even know what you're asking for. 1.00

00:56:36.000 That kind of a skill is...

00:56:37.000 What a shot!

00:56:39.000 That's crazy.

00:56:40.000 He's like, I might as well just try it.

00:56:41.000 Yeah, there it is.

00:56:44.000 Oh, that guy's prone, too.

00:56:45.000 Nice. 1.00

00:56:46.000 Oh, jeez, he shot it right out of his fucking hand. 1.00

00:56:48.000 What the f... 1.00

00:56:49.000 Mikey McKiernan?

00:56:50.000 He looks like...

00:56:50.000 Shot it right out of his hand.

00:56:51.000 That guy's so lucky.

00:56:54.000 He has fingers.

00:56:55.000 He's lucky in every way, shape, and...

00:56:56.000 That guy should play the lottery right after that. 1.00

00:56:59.000 You're a lucky bitch. 1.00

00:57:00.000 You should be dead. 1.00

00:57:02.000 You shouldn't have any fingers. 0.99

00:57:04.000 If it was Dog the Bounty Hunter arresting him, he would have let him get some lottery tickets.

00:57:08.000 Stop on the way home.

00:57:10.000 Is that what he does with people?

00:57:11.000 He would hold their cigarette for them while they smoke, handcuffed.

00:57:14.000 Oh, would he really?

00:57:15.000 Talk to them about God. 1.00

00:57:16.000 He'd let them look at his wife's big fat titties. 1.00

00:57:19.000 Big fat ones. 1.00

00:57:19.000 Rest in peace with those big fat titties. 1.00

00:57:22.000 Oh, she's dead? 1.00

00:57:22.000 Yeah, I think he's already moved on to another chick. 1.00

00:57:25.000 What do you want him to do?

00:57:25.000 Wait?

00:57:26.000 No.

00:57:26.000 He's Dog the Bounty Hunter.

00:57:27.000 That's awesome, though.

00:57:28.000 First of all, she was awesome.

00:57:30.000 How old is that guy?

00:57:31.000 How old's Dog?

00:57:32.000 Probably close to 70. Yeah, I mean, it's a hard life.

00:57:36.000 You're fucking banging on doors, getting fugitives. 0.98

00:57:39.000 Every day is a risk. 1.00

00:57:40.000 I can't believe for the, let's say, class of people they were, that there's not a loose picture of Beth Chapman's titties in the world at all.

00:57:51.000 He's 70. The dude's 70. Look at him with his hair, with the sunglasses.

00:57:56.000 What an amazing picture. 1.00

00:57:58.000 He never lost that fucking hair. 1.00

00:57:59.000 That is such an American person. 1.00

00:58:02.000 Oh my lord.

00:58:03.000 I mean, Doc the Bounty Hunter might be the most American guy that's ever lived.

00:58:07.000 Look at the gold chain hanging from his neck.

00:58:09.000 The Oakleys.

00:58:10.000 He's got a red flare chest. 0.94

00:58:11.000 The bleach blonde, long ass, beautiful hair for an old dude. 0.93

00:58:15.000 Beautiful hair.

00:58:15.000 For an old dude, I mean, he's got some rocker hair from the 80s.

00:58:18.000 Red skin.

00:58:19.000 He's got some poison hair.

00:58:21.000 Look at his skin. 1.00

00:58:22.000 Leather.

00:58:23.000 Leathery. 1.00

00:58:23.000 Fuck your sunscreen. 1.00

00:58:25.000 Dog the bounty hunter has never even touched sunscreen. 1.00

00:58:29.000 It's got chemicals in it.

00:58:29.000 That dude is just taking sun in the mug.

00:58:32.000 What was the recent crime that he jumped in on, put his name out there?

00:58:36.000 Yeah.

00:58:37.000 What happened?

00:58:38.000 Was it Petito?

00:58:39.000 He was looking for the kid who was missing in Florida with a girlfriend.

00:58:45.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:58:45.000 The guy, the van life.

00:58:47.000 The van life couple. 1.00

00:58:48.000 They want to kill her and kill themselves? 1.00

00:58:51.000 No. 0.99

00:58:52.000 They just show news, and it's just Dog the Bounty Hunter knocking on doors with a piece of paper.

00:58:55.000 Like, have you seen this?

00:58:57.000 He just went solo, boots to the ground.

00:59:00.000 In America somewhere?

00:59:01.000 With the cameras conveniently knowing where he was?

00:59:05.000 We'll find out.

00:59:05.000 What are the odds that they know where he is?

00:59:07.000 Just exactly in the middle of a city.

00:59:10.000 What does it say?

00:59:10.000 He's knocking on doors.

00:59:11.000 He goes, do you know this guy?

00:59:12.000 He goes, yeah, everyone does.

00:59:13.000 He's on the news.

00:59:15.000 Yeah.

00:59:17.000 Yeah, that was a scary case.

00:59:20.000 Which one was that?

00:59:21.000 They got pulled over by the cops, and they had been in some sort of a domestic squabble.

00:59:27.000 Again, domestic fights, right?

00:59:28.000 Squabble's a great word. 1.00

00:59:29.000 I don't know what the details were of it, but the cops let them go.

00:59:34.000 Well, in the rarest of situations...

00:59:36.000 And then they did what?

00:59:37.000 I'm saying, but in the rarest of situations, they...

00:59:40.000 I don't think this happens a lot, but the girl was crying and telling her story, and then the guy was telling his side of the story, like, behind the thing with the cops, and the cops were definitely, like, more on his world of, like, it's chicks, right?

00:59:53.000 I mean, we're in small spaces, you know, they act, and he's like, yeah, sure.

00:59:57.000 I mean, they're not...

00:59:57.000 I don't want to sandbag the cops and say, but it is, like, for whatever's going on, she was...

01:00:02.000 Hyper emotional and screaming and crying and he was like kind of like bickering about whatever you know this this and then they just they let him go and then what they do probably a sociopath right yeah yeah he probably figured out how to con the cops and he killed her he killed her right after yeah he killed her and then either he killed himself it's it's hard to know because I think like the alligators got to him Oh, 0.99

01:00:25.000 shit. 0.98

01:00:25.000 I think when they found his body, he had been consumed. 0.98

01:00:30.000 Oh, yeah, he was all...

01:00:31.000 Yeah, I think some things had consumed him. 0.99

01:00:34.000 It might be pigs, too. 0.98

01:00:35.000 There's a lot of wild pigs out there. 0.99

01:00:36.000 But the pigs will eat everything. 0.99

01:00:38.000 They'll eat your bones, man. 0.87

01:00:40.000 They'll eat everything. 0.97

01:00:41.000 If you leave a body where pigs are, that's the thing about Snatch.

01:00:44.000 We had a forensic psychologist on Kill Tony yesterday.

01:00:48.000 We asked him if that was a good way to kill people.

01:00:50.000 The remains were described as skeletal.

01:00:53.000 We're confirmed using dental records.

01:00:54.000 Oh, Brian Laundrie.

01:00:56.000 That's a different one.

01:00:56.000 No, that's the guy.

01:00:57.000 That's the guy.

01:00:58.000 Oh, that's the Brian Laundrie.

01:00:59.000 Yeah, that's the guy.

01:01:01.000 So he was consumed.

01:01:02.000 So it probably wasn't pigs.

01:01:04.000 It was probably rats.

01:01:06.000 He was found.

01:01:07.000 No, gators would swallow you whole.

01:01:08.000 Yeah, good point.

01:01:09.000 He was found, dare I say, through no help of Dog the Bounty Hunter.

01:01:13.000 Yeah, remember when they couldn't find him?

01:01:14.000 There was a national manhunt on for him.

01:01:15.000 Yeah.

01:01:16.000 And he was just out in the woods.

01:01:18.000 The Everglades are so crazy.

01:01:20.000 Do you know the Everglades, 99% of all the mammals are missing?

01:01:24.000 Really?

01:01:26.000 99%.

01:01:26.000 Yeah.

01:01:27.000 Dude, I went...

01:01:27.000 You know how when you're driving on the highway, you'll stop like there's a green belt or some hike or something?

01:01:31.000 So I did that at a rest stop.

01:01:33.000 In Florida, though, driving across the state.

01:01:36.000 And to go into the woods, you have to open up a giant gate that's like 20 feet high, then a barrier, like the Berlin Wall, then another 20 foot high fence, and you go in, and there's like a path and a sign, and it said like, don't do this alone. 0.99

01:01:49.000 There's fucking panthers everywhere.

01:01:51.000 So you have to be with somebody, and then I just turn around and left. 1.00

01:01:54.000 So they're probably thriving, but they need stuff to eat.

01:01:58.000 And the problem is, everything's been killed by pythons.

01:02:02.000 There's a half a million pythons.

01:02:06.000 That are in the Everglades right now.

01:02:08.000 And there's also people spotted Nile crocodiles.

01:02:11.000 They don't think that Nile crocodiles are a breeding pair.

01:02:14.000 They think somebody might have had one and let it loose.

01:02:16.000 And if that's the case, it survived. 0.99

01:02:18.000 But if they have a shoot on site, like if you see Nile crocodiles start popping, they get 20 feet long and they eat fucking zebras. 1.00

01:02:27.000 Damn. 0.99

01:02:28.000 Well, they show those things that are walking across golf courses and stuff. 1.00

01:02:31.000 No, no, no.

01:02:31.000 These are way scarier.

01:02:32.000 Because crocodiles will eat you. 0.99

01:02:34.000 Alligators will leave you the fuck alone for the most part. 1.00

01:02:36.000 They could eat you. 0.99

01:02:37.000 They might eat you if you're swimming.

01:02:38.000 Right.

01:02:39.000 But crocodiles will go after you. 0.91

01:02:41.000 Like, they eat people.

01:02:42.000 Like, crocodiles in Africa, the Nile crocodiles that we're talking about, my friend Jim Shockey, he's a professional hunter, they sent him To Africa to kill these crocodiles because they were killing so many villagers.

01:02:54.000 Everyone in the villager was like missing a hand.

01:02:57.000 Is that the one where the boat turns over?

01:02:58.000 Is those crocodiles in the boat and they just keep pulling the boat down?

01:03:01.000 That was the guy in a kayak.

01:03:02.000 Yeah, that was in some magazine, that story.

01:03:06.000 45 years old.

01:03:06.000 He just got along and then it flips it over.

01:03:08.000 Yeah, the crocodile swam up to the kayak, flipped it over and pulled him out of the kayak and swallowed him whole.

01:03:14.000 But what else?

01:03:14.000 Legs were still in there, he was pulling it out.

01:03:16.000 The kayak just keeps sinking as he's being chewed alive. 0.95

01:03:19.000 Bro, they are monsters. 0.99

01:03:22.000 They are monsters. 0.99

01:03:23.000 And here's the crazy thing. 0.84

01:03:24.000 The pythons are such monsters that they're eating the alligators.

01:03:27.000 Duh.

01:03:28.000 Pythons, they found a dead python with a 12-foot alligator inside of its body.

01:03:33.000 Oh, I just saw that.

01:03:34.000 It's bananas.

01:03:37.000 I don't know how big the allergy was.

01:03:38.000 I might have exaggerated the size of the allergy.

01:03:39.000 It's a good place to get rid of a body, the Glades.

01:03:41.000 That's where those kids from that Bully movie, the true story of that, they dumped in the Everglades. 0.98

01:03:50.000 And the only reason they got caught was because they were young, dumb teenagers who just kept telling people. 0.98

01:03:55.000 No, they just kept telling people. 0.99

01:03:57.000 Like one person would go, he goes, alright, don't tell anybody else, but like, we all killed the bully yesterday.

01:04:02.000 Of course they did.

01:04:03.000 And they couldn't stop telling.

01:04:04.000 That's my favorite.

01:04:06.000 That movie is made by that Larry Clark guy who makes all of the...

01:04:10.000 Gummo?

01:04:11.000 Yes, like Gummo, those kind of Harmony Corrine type guys. 0.99

01:04:14.000 They make all those shitty kid movies. 0.96

01:04:18.000 And so the movie's made to be... 0.99

01:04:20.000 It's very sexually explicit.

01:04:22.000 It's a very attractive cast. 0.94

01:04:24.000 And then when you look into the story at all and they show it, it's like a fat Samoan guy. 1.00

01:04:29.000 Everyone's like a Florida pig that they thought they were going to be. 1.00

01:04:32.000 I'm like, what are all these sexy kids fucking and killing each other for? 1.00

01:04:36.000 And they're just all just outcast awful looking people. 1.00

01:04:40.000 Yeah, the ones who have no other options.

01:04:42.000 This is my friend group.

01:04:43.000 That's so interesting. 0.98

01:04:44.000 Michael Pitt was a character in that, that handsome little son of a bitch, Bijou Phillips, Rachel Minor. 0.86

01:04:49.000 That's always weird when they have a movie and you see what the real person looked like and then you see them. 0.95

01:04:54.000 Like when, what's her face, Catherine Zeta-Jones played Giselda Blanco. 1.00

01:05:01.000 Giselle DeBlanco, you know, the cocaine queen, that crazy bitch from... 1.00

01:05:06.000 The Godmother or whatever they call you. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Yeah, she was terrifying.

01:05:08.000 She was in those cocaine cowboys documentaries.

01:05:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:05:11.000 When then you see Catherine Zeta-Jones, perfect, hot as the fucking sun playing her. 1.00

01:05:16.000 How about they couldn't... 0.99

01:05:17.000 They do that scream where it just switches right at the end of blow. 0.80

01:05:21.000 They couldn't...

01:05:22.000 With movie makeup...

01:05:24.000 And all the time in the world, they couldn't make Johnny Depp as ugly as George Young.

01:05:29.000 They just couldn't do it.

01:05:31.000 He shines through everything.

01:05:33.000 He's too perfect.

01:05:34.000 Somebody saw that in movie theaters, and they went to that picture of him.

01:05:37.000 Somebody went, throw mama from the train. 1.00

01:05:39.000 And then they realized he does absolutely look like throw mama from the train. 0.93

01:05:43.000 Mama Fratelli.

01:05:44.000 Oh, really?

01:05:45.000 That's great.

01:05:46.000 Yeah, dude. 0.64

01:05:46.000 He was really crazy. 0.64

01:05:47.000 And again, he was gorgeous Johnny Depp the whole movie.

01:05:50.000 Remember when they got that hot lady to play Monster? 1.00

01:05:53.000 What's her name?

01:05:55.000 Charlize Theron. 0.98

01:05:55.000 Do you think the rest of Hollywood is like, can you just hire one of the ugly ones? 0.98

01:05:59.000 No one fights for the ugly people to get their roles. 0.84

01:06:03.000 Why are you hiring pretties to play our roles? 1.00

01:06:05.000 She has to get gross to do this. 1.00

01:06:06.000 Who's it put on the movie for the Dark Knight, not the Dark Knight, the Batman, the new Batman?

01:06:12.000 Was it Colin Farrell, that handsome fella?

01:06:16.000 The penguin?

01:06:16.000 Yeah, see what they did with him?

01:06:18.000 Well, that's a good one, but Charlize Theron actually turned herself ugly for that movie. 1.00

01:06:24.000 She's hot as fuck! 1.00

01:06:27.000 She's hot as fuck. 1.00

01:06:28.000 I've seen her in real life. 1.00

01:06:29.000 She's fucking hot. 1.00

01:06:30.000 And she decided to gain like a hundred pounds or whatever the fuck it is and shave her eyebrows off and make herself look like shit. 1.00

01:06:37.000 What did I ask you to look up? 1.00

01:06:39.000 Yeah, this guy.

01:06:40.000 Say he played the penguin.

01:06:41.000 He's a handsome fella. 1.00

01:06:42.000 And they put some crazy shit on him and got rid of his hair and made his face prosthetic, give him like a fat face. 0.99

01:06:50.000 Like, that's him in the penguin. 0.99

01:06:51.000 I mean, he don't look anything like himself.

01:06:53.000 That's just prosthetics.

01:06:54.000 Yeah.

01:06:55.000 Charlize Theron just did it. 1.00

01:06:56.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:57.000 Big difference.

01:06:58.000 Big difference.

01:06:58.000 Those people that do that, like, for a movie...

01:07:00.000 The Machinist, when he got to become, like, an anorexic? 1.00

01:07:03.000 Damn! 1.00

01:07:03.000 It's killing Tom Hanks. 1.00

01:07:05.000 He has, like, does he have, like, bad diabetes and shit from doing that? 0.99

01:07:07.000 From what? 0.98

01:07:08.000 I think from, like, jumping up and down weights for characters.

01:07:10.000 Really?

01:07:11.000 Yeah.

01:07:11.000 I heard he got AIDS in Philadelphia.

01:07:12.000 No, that's not true, Ari.

01:07:15.000 Not the movie, just in the city. 0.61

01:07:17.000 That place is teeming with AIDS. Yeah, he had a bad cheesesteak.

01:07:21.000 It was influential.

01:07:22.000 What is, uh...

01:07:24.000 What were we just Googling?

01:07:26.000 Whether or not Tom Hanks really has diabetes.

01:07:31.000 That doesn't make sense.

01:07:33.000 We'd say kidney problems, maybe.

01:07:36.000 I think his health has been like...

01:07:38.000 Oh, he has a family history of diabetes.

01:07:40.000 So, he's always had it.

01:07:41.000 Did he go up and down for roles a lot?

01:07:44.000 He would be thinner, yeah, for sure.

01:07:46.000 I mean, like, especially, he was a little older when he did, like, Cast Away and had to get, like, gaunt.

01:07:50.000 Well, I know McConaughey.

01:07:51.000 You know what I mean?

01:07:51.000 And he's been, like, happy, yeah.

01:07:52.000 When McConaughey did Dallas Buyer's Club, he got fucked up. 0.99

01:07:56.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:57.000 That hurt him.

01:07:57.000 Yeah, that hurt him.

01:07:59.000 He had a hard time, like, recovering from that.

01:08:02.000 Like, you're basically on death's door.

01:08:04.000 You know, you're letting your body eat itself.

01:08:06.000 That's what happens.

01:08:07.000 People don't realize how scary that is.

01:08:09.000 Like, for a person to do that for a movie, like, It's so inconsequential, really.

01:08:15.000 Just to entertain people for two hours.

01:08:17.000 Like what Homeboy did with The Machinist, Christian Bale.

01:08:20.000 He got to death's door, man.

01:08:22.000 You ever see that?

01:08:23.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:08:24.000 That was a wild one.

01:08:25.000 He looked so bad.

01:08:26.000 Yeah, it was crazy.

01:08:27.000 He looked even worse than McConaughey did in Dallas Buyers Club.

01:08:30.000 Yeah.

01:08:30.000 It was easy to take his shirt off and it was all spindly like that.

01:08:32.000 Yeah.

01:08:33.000 But he came and played Batman like six months later.

01:08:35.000 He got on the song.

01:08:37.000 Well, I mean, that was after American Psycho, where he was, like, jacked.

01:08:42.000 Jacked, yeah.

01:08:43.000 But it's just that image of him in The Machinist, like, where his arms are splayed by a bird.

01:08:49.000 He was so anorexic.

01:08:50.000 Yeah, that one. 0.89

01:08:51.000 Like, dude, he looks like he's on death's door.

01:08:53.000 Like, that looks like a person who's been starved in a concentration camp.

01:08:57.000 Look at him. 0.99

01:08:57.000 He must have been so proud of himself when he was doing that suck-in thing. 0.99

01:09:00.000 It's very crazy to do. 0.97

01:09:02.000 He seems to be okay with it, but like I said, I know McConaughey really got hurt from Dallas Buyers Club.

01:09:07.000 He had a really hard time getting back from that. 0.99

01:09:09.000 Damn. 0.99

01:09:10.000 It's not a joke, man. 1.00

01:09:11.000 Your body's eating itself.

01:09:13.000 Like, to do that for a movie.

01:09:15.000 So it's one thing to get fat.

01:09:16.000 Like, Mark Wahlberg got fat for a movie recently.

01:09:19.000 Really? 0.99

01:09:19.000 Yeah, he just ate, like, fucking 30,000 calories a day, and he gained 30 pounds, big gut. 0.99

01:09:24.000 But then he lost it again. 0.98

01:09:26.000 See that SNL sketch?

01:09:27.000 Not good for you, but it's still probably better for you than almost dying of starvation.

01:09:33.000 I'd rather be that.

01:09:38.000 He's obviously a very disciplined guy.

01:09:40.000 He's going to lose the weight and get back.

01:09:41.000 Also, he's not that bad.

01:09:42.000 But it's not as dangerous. 0.96

01:09:44.000 Does he have a third nipple? 0.95

01:09:44.000 It's not good, though. 0.95

01:09:45.000 Does he? 0.97

01:09:45.000 I think he has a third nipple. 0.97

01:09:53.000 It's got the little white in the middle. 0.97

01:09:54.000 Come on.

01:09:55.000 It's a third nipple.

01:09:56.000 I had a friend in high school, same thing.

01:09:58.000 This is a conspiracy theory that is unfounded.

01:10:01.000 That's for sure.

01:10:01.000 I bet someone has said that before.

01:10:04.000 Unfounded conspiracy theories.

01:10:05.000 We've had the proof.

01:10:06.000 We cannot have those.

01:10:07.000 We saw the proof.

01:10:09.000 Does Donnie have the same third nipple?

01:10:11.000 Is this a thing in the family?

01:10:13.000 Is that what Wahlbergers mean? 0.97

01:10:15.000 That's a third nipple for sure. 1.00

01:10:16.000 This guy's got a third nipple. 1.00

01:10:17.000 It is a third nipple. 0.99

01:10:18.000 Wow. 0.94

01:10:18.000 Did you already know this? 0.94

01:10:19.000 Good find. 0.94

01:10:20.000 Mark Wahlberg, third nipple. 0.97

01:10:21.000 You knew. 0.97

01:10:22.000 No, I saw it.

01:10:23.000 You just saw it.

01:10:24.000 Wow. 0.99

01:10:25.000 Would you assume that a vain man would get that removed or maybe that's the best one to suck on? 1.00

01:10:29.000 Ooh. 1.00

01:10:30.000 The most sensitive.

01:10:31.000 Yeah.

01:10:32.000 Maybe that little one is wild.

01:10:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:34.000 The god nipple. 1.00

01:10:35.000 Oh, look at a clit nipple. 1.00

01:10:36.000 It tells the future. 1.00

01:10:38.000 Yeah, that one's the one.

01:10:39.000 Just rub it.

01:10:40.000 Rub it.

01:10:41.000 It's like when the teacher put his thumb on their head and made him go to excess.

01:10:44.000 Just tweak that one nipple. 1.00

01:10:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:48.000 I wonder if a third one has nipple reaction, like the tightening of the areole and the loosening up.

01:10:54.000 Why is it never a full nipple?

01:10:56.000 It's always just like leftover.

01:10:58.000 Right, like an extra finger is not like the biggest finger. 0.82

01:11:00.000 The Danny DeVito nipple. 0.68

01:11:01.000 If you have two thumbs. 0.98

01:11:03.000 How would you know which one it is?

01:11:05.000 Yeah. 0.56

01:11:06.000 Wait, yeah, maybe like, no, no, this is the fake nipple. 0.92

01:11:09.000 This was my second. 0.54

01:11:10.000 You know, if you lose a pinky, you lose like the majority of the power in your hand.

01:11:14.000 Like a large amount.

01:11:16.000 I think it's something like 50% of the strength of your hand.

01:11:18.000 Imagine how strong you'd be if you had all index fingers.

01:11:22.000 All index in this finger. 1.00

01:11:24.000 Like, this is a bitch-ass finger. 0.99

01:11:25.000 And it takes away 50% of your power. 1.00

01:11:27.000 This little finger works out all the fucking time. 1.00

01:11:29.000 It's still weak as fuck. 1.00

01:11:30.000 Look at this little bitch. 1.00

01:11:32.000 Nothing. 1.00

01:11:32.000 It's only good for making you look gay while you drink, too. 1.00

01:11:34.000 These fingers are strong as fuck. 1.00

01:11:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:37.000 And that's, like, imagine if you had a hand of only these fingers. 1.00

01:11:40.000 Yeah.

01:11:40.000 Like, what is this pinky doing?

01:11:41.000 How close are we to that?

01:11:42.000 Like, is it, am I using that very often? 0.99

01:11:45.000 Do I need a dainty, I can do dainty shit with these. 1.00

01:11:47.000 Why do I have a dainty little bitch-ass finger? 1.00

01:11:49.000 It makes the base of my wiener feel thick. 1.00

01:11:51.000 Oh, okay.

01:11:52.000 Use.

01:11:53.000 Use.

01:11:54.000 There you go.

01:11:55.000 I try to flip a break.

01:11:56.000 Maybe that's it. 1.00

01:11:57.000 For guys who jerk off like this. 0.99

01:11:59.000 For propagation of the, yeah. 0.99

01:12:02.000 The taper down effect.

01:12:04.000 Gentle.

01:12:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:06.000 If you're a gentleman, you jerk off like you're drinking tea. 1.00

01:12:09.000 With a pinky out. 1.00

01:12:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:11.000 Remember when this was the worst social thing you could do by accident?

01:12:13.000 Have a pinky out? 0.99

01:12:13.000 Oh no! 0.99

01:12:14.000 Your friends would mock you.

01:12:16.000 We saw him!

01:12:17.000 Yeah.

01:12:17.000 I think that might be just us.

01:12:22.000 If regular guys are drinking coffee, I bet they do this all the time.

01:12:25.000 They don't even think about it.

01:12:26.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:12:27.000 They don't think someone's gonna jump all over them and mock them.

01:12:30.000 Why would that be a problem?

01:12:31.000 The comedian Pete Dominick told me a story years ago in Vegas about I don't know if it was somebody finding out that somebody else in the school jerked off different than everybody or him.

01:12:42.000 Yeah.

01:12:43.000 But it was like... 0.99

01:12:44.000 But you know the rumor, those bullshit rumors that go around every school? 1.00

01:12:47.000 Some girl had a dog, eat her pussy, and someone jerked off in school or something. 1.00

01:12:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:52.000 This was the whatever got caught jerking off in school, whoever the kid was. 1.00

01:12:56.000 And when everyone was making fun of him, they're like, ah, you see, Steve was jerking off in school. 0.99

01:13:01.000 And he said, one kid was like, yeah, Steve, you were jerking off. 0.99

01:13:05.000 And he goes, that's when everyone just goes, hang on, Steve. 0.98

01:13:08.000 Wait.

01:13:09.000 What?

01:13:10.000 He was doing what? 1.00

01:13:11.000 What is this knuckles up thing you're doing, you fucking weirdo? 1.00

01:13:15.000 That's how you find out. 1.00

01:13:16.000 He goes, ah, you guys are jerking off. 1.00

01:13:18.000 Nah, nah, nah. 1.00

01:13:19.000 He was on top one second, on the bottom of the next second.

01:13:24.000 It's hilarious. 0.98

01:13:25.000 Isn't that funny that we'll judge someone on the method they use to jerk off? 0.96

01:13:29.000 Yeah, like you're out of the group. 0.79

01:13:30.000 How weird is that?

01:13:32.000 How weird is it that this bothers you? 0.97

01:13:33.000 Yeah, because you don't jerk off with anybody. 0.98

01:13:35.000 Why should it even matter? 0.98

01:13:36.000 It seems like hyper-aggressive, like, ah.

01:13:38.000 I've seen it in pornography and it bothers me.

01:13:40.000 And I say, he's doing it wrong, which isn't true.

01:13:45.000 But if it works, that was a good choice.

01:13:48.000 Exactly.

01:13:48.000 To get you there, I'm like, nah, you don't even know the sweet, pure pleasure of going the other way.

01:13:53.000 It's like a guy who's got an unorthodox pitch.

01:13:55.000 Yeah.

01:13:56.000 Or also, though, he might like his pressure low.

01:14:00.000 Because, again, we're talking about the pinky finger versus the ring finger.

01:14:03.000 No, they would just lay off.

01:14:04.000 How low are we talking about? 1.00

01:14:06.000 I feel like if you're doing it this way, you're more fucking a hole that's empty on the other side, where you can fuck the full pussy of your fist the other direction. 1.00

01:14:15.000 You could also just be like rubbing the dick against your hand, no pressure, for slower. 1.00

01:14:20.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:14:21.000 Is it crazy to enjoy what you're doing?

01:14:22.000 No, what you're doing is crazy.

01:14:23.000 Like you're cradling it.

01:14:24.000 Yeah, you're cradling.

01:14:25.000 Just, you know, that's what Rock the Cradle of Love was about. 1.00

01:14:28.000 I've heard stories of guys who their jerk off is to fuck their own thigh in bed, basically. 1.00

01:14:34.000 No, no, no. 1.00

01:14:35.000 Don't do that.

01:14:35.000 That was me when I was little.

01:14:37.000 I would just rub it against my jeans.

01:14:38.000 Don't do that.

01:14:40.000 Is that the restrict act?

01:14:41.000 They're going to get us for spreading bad information?

01:14:43.000 That's bad information.

01:14:44.000 What if they take away that act? 0.98

01:14:45.000 Imagine if that fucking act passes through and they go through old podcasts. 0.99

01:14:48.000 Everybody's going to jail. 1.00

01:14:49.000 Oh boy, I'm fucked. 1.00

01:14:50.000 Everyone's going to jail. 1.00

01:14:51.000 Yeah.

01:14:51.000 If you said anything negative about a candidate.

01:14:54.000 Anything negative about the government.

01:14:55.000 Because it's still up, so it's still doing the thing.

01:14:58.000 Yeah, the whole thing is spooky, man.

01:15:00.000 It's spooky that they just keep wanting more and more control.

01:15:02.000 It's just like we were talking about with cult leaders.

01:15:04.000 It starts off, they're kind of okay, and then after a while they go crazy, and then they push it to see how far they can do it.

01:15:10.000 I think that's a pattern with human beings.

01:15:13.000 I think that's a pattern in the government.

01:15:14.000 I think that's a pattern in cults.

01:15:16.000 Comedy Central used to do that when they were like, hey, this material, we own the material forever, not just the recording.

01:15:20.000 And then you'd have to go, no, and they're like, okay, well, we had to ask.

01:15:23.000 We had to try.

01:15:24.000 Yeah, and it's like, why even try?

01:15:25.000 Yeah, well...

01:15:26.000 The problem is you're an artist, and when you mix art with business, stuff gets very slippery.

01:15:34.000 I hate it.

01:15:35.000 I don't know how to do any of it. 1.00

01:15:39.000 Yeah, you're pretty much useless with that. 0.99

01:15:43.000 Yeah, but it's also one of the reasons why you're so fucking funny. 0.99

01:15:46.000 I think it all goes together, man. 0.62

01:15:50.000 I don't think those people that are really good at crunching numbers are the funniest folks.

01:15:55.000 You should have seen this.

01:15:56.000 It was like, Jay, I need your notes on this edit.

01:15:58.000 And he's like, okay, well, I've got to see my daughter tomorrow.

01:16:01.000 I was like, Jay, put it on and watch it now!

01:16:06.000 I did not want to watch it.

01:16:07.000 Oh my god.

01:16:09.000 You didn't want to do anything.

01:16:10.000 I did not want to watch it.

01:16:12.000 Sometimes on the edits, it doesn't matter now.

01:16:14.000 It's out now and I've seen it and I'm very happy with it.

01:16:17.000 But sometimes I go, we need your notes on the edits.

01:16:20.000 And I'd go, and then I'd go to click the email and watch it again.

01:16:23.000 And I would see Ari's copious notes.

01:16:27.000 His wonderful notes.

01:16:28.000 And I would go...

01:16:29.000 I'm almost one at random.

01:16:31.000 I go, I don't know how I feel about his third note, but I pretty much agree with all...

01:16:34.000 I was going to call you guys, but it's all pretty much that.

01:16:37.000 Yeah, let a friend edit it.

01:16:38.000 That's a good move, actually.

01:16:39.000 He did, eventually.

01:16:40.000 Someone who's a good editor, let a friend edit it.

01:16:42.000 Yeah, we got Cotter to edit it.

01:16:44.000 Not a bad idea.

01:16:45.000 He was right on everything you say when he'd go, I don't know about this.

01:16:48.000 And I'd go, sure.

01:16:49.000 You know better than I do.

01:16:51.000 Like, let's do it.

01:16:52.000 Yeah.

01:16:52.000 Well, we set the club up so that he could film there all the time.

01:16:55.000 Which is great.

01:16:56.000 We set the club up so there's three angles in every room.

01:16:59.000 There'd be a lot of specials.

01:17:00.000 Yeah, that's the goal.

01:17:01.000 The goal is, like, to let people, like, look, everybody knows now, and Ari, you're a great testament to that. 0.95

01:17:06.000 You need one fucking banging special on YouTube and then you're off to the races. 1.00

01:17:11.000 People can see it. 0.99

01:17:11.000 It's legit. 0.99

01:17:12.000 Everyone hears everybody on podcasts.

01:17:14.000 Matt Edgar says this.

01:17:14.000 You introduce a friend on a podcast.

01:17:16.000 Hey, he's a really funny guy, a really funny guy.

01:17:17.000 And then you're at home going, can you prove that?

01:17:20.000 Right.

01:17:20.000 Is there any proof of that out there?

01:17:21.000 Well, at a certain point, they trust you.

01:17:23.000 Like, I've never lied once.

01:17:25.000 Like, I've had a lot of people that I really...

01:17:27.000 I like them, but they're just not that funny.

01:17:29.000 Right.

01:17:29.000 I just can't...

01:17:30.000 I can't help you.

01:17:32.000 Yeah.

01:17:32.000 You know, it's like...

01:17:33.000 Whatever it is.

01:17:35.000 That's a tough thing in doing comedy as long as I have is seeing somebody...

01:17:39.000 It's not fun.

01:17:39.000 ...who's seeing somebody, especially when you like them and like a friend, you're like, oh, I don't know if you have the basic...

01:17:45.000 No.

01:17:46.000 Because even people...

01:17:47.000 Basic what?

01:17:47.000 Like habit?

01:17:49.000 A good example, I've been doing comedy longer than Lewis and Dave from Skanks.

01:17:56.000 But when I was, you know, whatever, eight years in and they were just starting...

01:18:02.000 Someone's going hard.

01:18:03.000 I'd watch them.

01:18:05.000 When it was eight years in, I'd watch them and...

01:18:09.000 They were funny on stage, but I saw their lack of experience, wasn't it?

01:18:14.000 But I could see right away.

01:18:15.000 I'm like, no, you guys have like...

01:18:17.000 You know what you're doing.

01:18:17.000 I wasn't worried about them.

01:18:18.000 I was like, you guys are going to be fine.

01:18:20.000 You're a very funny guy.

01:18:21.000 I don't know what level they go to necessarily, but I was like, you'll be around comedy.

01:18:25.000 You're not a lunatic. 0.98

01:18:26.000 Yeah, and then there's some people where you're like, damn, I love this guy. 0.98

01:18:29.000 Then you watch them and you go, oh... 0.96

01:18:31.000 Zero chance.

01:18:31.000 He's such a nice person.

01:18:34.000 There's a bunch of those.

01:18:35.000 Oh, this hurts.

01:18:35.000 It's unfortunate, you know, because sometimes you become friends with them before you see their set.

01:18:40.000 Yeah.

01:18:41.000 And then you see them and they want to come on your podcast or they want to, you know, hey, you know, I know you're doing a show in Minneapolis.

01:18:49.000 I'm actually from there.

01:18:50.000 I'd love to open for you.

01:18:53.000 Yeah.

01:18:54.000 We've got a problem.

01:18:55.000 I'm already there.

01:18:57.000 No, no, no.

01:18:58.000 You kind of have to have a real conversation with them.

01:19:00.000 Otherwise, it's going to keep coming up.

01:19:01.000 But you've got to kind of figure out a way to say it in a way that's...

01:19:05.000 Fortunately, I haven't had to do that to too many people.

01:19:08.000 Yeah, I'm not that person at all.

01:19:11.000 Just take it.

01:19:13.000 I'll absolutely take it.

01:19:15.000 I never asked someone if I could go with them on the road.

01:19:18.000 I never did.

01:19:19.000 And all the guys that I took on the road with me, I asked.

01:19:22.000 Thank you.

01:19:23.000 I was like a doorman.

01:19:28.000 He was a dude that I knew at the club that was just starting out and I knew he had potential.

01:19:33.000 I would see his late night sets and every now and then he'd hit a spark and I'd be like, ah!

01:19:40.000 It was just like you were figuring it out. 1.00

01:19:42.000 And then I took you to Denver one time and you fucking murdered. 0.99

01:19:46.000 That was my first road thing. 1.00

01:19:47.000 Murdered.

01:19:48.000 It was the first time Ari was ever in front of 350 people who were so happy to see a show. 0.99

01:19:54.000 It was like, what the fuck is comedy? 0.99

01:19:56.000 And he murdered. 1.00

01:19:57.000 He murdered.

01:19:59.000 That's a high bar set.

01:20:02.000 Everybody shows up at Comedy Works and they're like, it's my first show.

01:20:04.000 I'm like, oh, they won't be as good as this.

01:20:06.000 Well, you had been running with weights on, right?

01:20:08.000 Because you'd been doing those late night spots where if you're a beginner and you're going on after like five killers in a row, the audience just leaves. 0.98

01:20:17.000 Like big chunks of them leave and you get this like dead sort of crap. 0.94

01:20:22.000 All my New York chops are. 0.97

01:20:24.000 I followed Dave Attell.

01:20:25.000 I said I followed Dave Attell at the Comedy Cellar for 10 years straight, 12 years straight.

01:20:30.000 Every night, pretty much.

01:20:31.000 That's the only way.

01:20:32.000 But it's funny you almost say the same thing.

01:20:34.000 It was like Attell asked me if I wanted to go on the road with him and start doing stuff.

01:20:39.000 And then he would call me to...

01:20:40.000 Wow.

01:20:41.000 I would feel weird to go, hey, can I do whatever with him?

01:20:44.000 I would never ask anybody. 0.99

01:20:45.000 No fucking way. 0.99

01:20:46.000 You can't ask. 1.00

01:20:48.000 Someone will ask you.

01:20:49.000 If you ask, it becomes a thing.

01:20:51.000 And now someone's not hiring you because they want to, they're hiring you because you asked.

01:20:56.000 I mean, it's not like we don't know you're a professional comedian.

01:21:00.000 If you ever need anybody is a funny one.

01:21:02.000 How many people can you take on the road?

01:21:03.000 I can't find a comic?

01:21:05.000 What do you mean, if I ever need one?

01:21:06.000 Also worked at John Carden's a comic from here in Austin.

01:21:09.000 He was in Phoenix before this, and he opened for me one time there.

01:21:12.000 We've never lived in the same state or anything, but he's on the road with me a ton.

01:21:15.000 That weekend...

01:21:17.000 Yeah.

01:21:18.000 He does a killer job.

01:21:20.000 I'm happy to promote him.

01:21:21.000 It's like going on vacation with someone.

01:21:24.000 I want to go on vacation with you.

01:21:26.000 We go on vacation, we're gonna have a good time. 0.99

01:21:28.000 If you and I just went to Maui and just fucking drank piña coladas and fucked around the ocean, we'd have a great time. 0.99

01:21:34.000 We'd have laughs all day long. 0.98

01:21:35.000 But not all comics.

01:21:37.000 Like some comics you went to Maui with, you're like, yeah, man, I'm gonna go to the gym. 0.98

01:21:42.000 You'd be in your room watching fucking Netflix. 0.99

01:21:44.000 Just waiting. 1.00

01:21:45.000 In paradise, going, ugh.

01:21:47.000 You know?

01:21:47.000 Like some people you don't want to talk to.

01:21:49.000 We went to Anchorage for four days and we did our show. 0.99

01:21:52.000 Yeah, we had a great fucking time. 0.99

01:21:53.000 We went fishing. 0.99

01:21:54.000 We hung around.

01:21:55.000 We did a fun show, though.

01:21:57.000 It was fun show.

01:21:58.000 I think we had two shows.

01:21:58.000 Did we have two shows?

01:21:59.000 Maybe two in one night.

01:21:59.000 Yeah, because we waited enough.

01:22:01.000 No, it was another place.

01:22:02.000 We waited in a turned-out bus in between shows.

01:22:04.000 It was dope.

01:22:05.000 They were like robust people.

01:22:07.000 Like I was impressed with them.

01:22:09.000 Like everyone had character.

01:22:11.000 It was very interesting.

01:22:12.000 Anchorage is wild.

01:22:13.000 Like the level of character that the average guy has in Anchorage is above normal. 0.98

01:22:19.000 Because they're around fucking moose and bears and it's frozen half the year. 0.96

01:22:24.000 They all carry candles in their car? 0.99

01:22:26.000 Yeah.

01:22:26.000 Because if it goes off they gotta light that and keep it alive.

01:22:28.000 Blankets and candles.

01:22:28.000 You keep blankets and candles in your car.

01:22:32.000 Fuck, no way. 1.00

01:22:34.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:22:35.000 That was one of the first places that Chilcoo Charlie's out there that would headline me every year. 1.00

01:22:39.000 So before I was almost going anywhere in the lower 48, I was a regular there.

01:22:46.000 Every year I would go, they would have me.

01:22:47.000 I loved that place.

01:22:48.000 I love Alaska.

01:22:48.000 The chaos of that particular place, Chilcoo Charlie's, was insane.

01:22:53.000 It was like a powder keg.

01:22:55.000 That never went off.

01:22:56.000 It was a hip-hop room, an electronic dance club upstairs.

01:23:01.000 Downstairs, like a honky-tonk band.

01:23:04.000 And then they have another room that might have a pretty big actual metal band.

01:23:09.000 I think Godsmack had played there at one point.

01:23:11.000 It's like a couple hundred people.

01:23:13.000 And it looked like a log cabin from outside.

01:23:15.000 Very unassuming.

01:23:16.000 One of my favorite guys I ever interviewed on the show was this guy John Reeves, who owns a place called The Bone Yard in Alaska.

01:23:23.000 And this place in Alaska is this one spot that, for whatever reason, has tons and tons of bones.

01:23:31.000 Giant woolly mammoth tusks.

01:23:33.000 What?

01:23:33.000 They've found animals from that area that weren't even supposed to be living there.

01:23:37.000 These different fucking lions and cats and bears and all these... 0.99

01:23:42.000 I mean, insane amounts. 0.99

01:23:44.000 And it's a small area.

01:23:45.000 It's just a few acres.

01:23:47.000 And he's got other areas on his...

01:23:48.000 He has an enormous property.

01:23:50.000 He's like a mining guy.

01:23:53.000 Right.

01:23:53.000 Very wealthy, but like, down to earth.

01:23:56.000 Like a regular dude.

01:23:58.000 Smoked cigarettes on the podcast. 1.00

01:24:00.000 Fun fucking dude. 0.99

01:24:01.000 So he tells a story about how they dumped a bunch of fossils in the East River because they didn't have any storage from them. 1.00

01:24:08.000 Fossils that came from his land.

01:24:10.000 And so he was trying to get it back, and he got all this paperwork that shows where it was dumped.

01:24:16.000 So then he gives it out to the internet on the podcast. 0.57

01:24:18.000 So then these guys start swimming around in the fucking river, in the East River, and one of them finds a steppe bison jawbone. 0.93

01:24:27.000 So it's proof that some of that stuff did get into the East River. 0.99

01:24:32.000 At least that piece did. 0.99

01:24:33.000 So this guy finds it diving, looking around the bottom of the East River in that fucking toxic river. 0.99

01:24:38.000 It's his. 0.98

01:24:39.000 And they pull out this thing.

01:24:41.000 So he pulls out this thing. 1.00

01:24:42.000 Ew, his lips are exposing that shit. 1.00

01:24:45.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

01:24:46.000 His lips.

01:24:47.000 Well, he had the scuba thing on before.

01:24:48.000 See, he's got the thing that goes on his mouth.

01:24:51.000 He took it off when he got out of the water, but that's a step bison jawbone. 0.99

01:24:56.000 That's crazy.

01:24:57.000 How am I unassuming, by the way?

01:24:58.000 I would be like...

01:24:59.000 Well, that's a piece of it.

01:25:00.000 This isn't money.

01:25:02.000 It looks like when you see the full version, that lady has it in her hand.

01:25:06.000 So what does that mean, that it's there?

01:25:07.000 See the full version, that lady has it in her hand. 1.00

01:25:09.000 That's what it looks like when it's fully connected.

01:25:11.000 So that was a deceased bison's jawbone.

01:25:14.000 So they have a shit ton of those out in this boneyard.

01:25:18.000 And this is something that they found in the East River.

01:25:22.000 So his story, it seems at least to be proved correct, that someone, at one point in time, dumped a bunch of these priceless fossils in the East River because they just didn't have any storage.

01:25:35.000 In the 1930s, was it?

01:25:37.000 Was it something like that?

01:25:38.000 It was like the 1930s.

01:25:39.000 It was much later for some reason because U-Haul bill was up.

01:25:43.000 I think back then they didn't even understand.

01:25:45.000 We got a bunch of these. 1.00

01:25:46.000 Fucking dump them. 1.00

01:25:47.000 They didn't understand how crazy it was what they had. 1.00

01:25:49.000 One of the times I was in Alaska, they took me and Dave Smith actually to the animal preserve area out there by the glaciers.

01:25:57.000 I'll tell you what, being a person who really mostly saw like wild animals only in a zoo before, the animals there, while majestic, are very, pretty worse for the wear.

01:26:08.000 Like, when you see a moose, it's not like a beautiful, like, it is, you know, the hordes, but when you get up to them, there's like scabs, like real, like, they've been in a fight or something.

01:26:18.000 They were nursing an eagle back to health. 0.98

01:26:20.000 Yeah, like real wilderness animals are like fucking, they're living a life. 1.00

01:26:23.000 They don't live long either, man. 1.00

01:26:25.000 Yeah, this shit's around all the time. 1.00

01:26:26.000 Did you see that video of these two dirt bike riders and one of them fucks up and rides his dirt bike past a bear's den? 1.00

01:26:35.000 No!

01:26:36.000 And doesn't realize it until the bear comes charging out of the den at him?

01:26:41.000 No.

01:26:42.000 Oh my god.

01:26:43.000 Let me find it, Jamie.

01:26:45.000 You got it.

01:26:46.000 Look at this.

01:26:50.000 Bro. 0.99

01:26:51.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 1.00

01:26:52.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:26:53.000 Oh my god.

01:26:54.000 Oh my god.

01:26:56.000 We crashed it right there.

01:26:58.000 Yeah.

01:26:59.000 Look at this. 1.00

01:27:00.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:27:02.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:27:04.000 Wow.

01:27:04.000 That guy revved his engine and that's probably what scared it off.

01:27:08.000 The buddy's video statement.

01:27:10.000 Dude, that is death.

01:27:11.000 That is death. 1.00

01:27:13.000 Oh, you know how fucking terrifying that would be? 0.99

01:27:15.000 When they show that like people have been hit by like tiger claws. 0.97

01:27:18.000 I saw a video the other day.

01:27:18.000 It was like family was attacked by...

01:27:21.000 Maybe it was a panther or something, or a puma or something like that, but like, it looks like when you see the hits, they're always just, it almost looks like they're playful playing with you, but this from a tiger would just rip your face entirely off.

01:27:35.000 It's like Tyson trying to pitty-pitty.

01:27:36.000 You don't understand.

01:27:38.000 You literally don't have any weapons.

01:27:41.000 They have weapons on every hand, and their face is a weapon, and their bite strength is so superior to yours, you couldn't even imagine it.

01:27:49.000 And they're so much stronger pound for pound than we are.

01:27:52.000 And you're just playing defense?

01:27:53.000 You're not trying to win, you're trying to survive?

01:27:55.000 Did you ever have a regular house cat that you have a situation with?

01:28:00.000 He starts swinging at you.

01:28:02.000 I had a house cat that was feral, and I had to get him fixed because he was pissing in my house.

01:28:07.000 It was one of those things.

01:28:08.000 He was just spraying all over my house.

01:28:09.000 He was feral.

01:28:10.000 I got him when he was a kitten.

01:28:12.000 So a friend, she found a bunch of them underneath the apartment building, and her and her boyfriend gave them out to people, and I took one of them.

01:28:18.000 So I had this kitten, and literally I had to stay with it for several days alone in one of the bedrooms in my house to get it to be comfortable enough with me that it let me touch it.

01:28:29.000 I would go near it and it would hiss at me. 0.99

01:28:32.000 Climb the fucking drapes. 0.99

01:28:33.000 It was wild. 1.00

01:28:34.000 Why did you take it home?

01:28:35.000 Because I was like, I was committed to this.

01:28:37.000 I was like, I'm going to make this work out.

01:28:38.000 I'm going to make this work out.

01:28:39.000 And so these cats, like when they start pissing the house, you have to get them fixed.

01:28:45.000 Because now they're going to do that all the time.

01:28:47.000 And I had to get them right when he first started doing it.

01:28:49.000 I saw him do it. 1.00

01:28:50.000 He lifted up his ass and he sprayed all over my bathroom like, you little motherfucker. 1.00

01:28:54.000 I'm like, okay. 1.00

01:28:54.000 So I call my veterinarian and he says, how feral? 1.00

01:28:58.000 I go, he's fucking crazy feral. 0.99

01:29:00.000 I go, I'm the only one who can pet him. 0.99

01:29:02.000 And he's like, oh my god.

01:29:04.000 He's my friend.

01:29:05.000 Dr. Craig. 1.00

01:29:06.000 He was the shit. 1.00

01:29:07.000 And so he goes, you're going to have to capture it. 1.00

01:29:09.000 So I got it in the bathroom, and it's hissing at me and jumping on the counters like it knows I'm doing something. 0.99

01:29:15.000 And so I throw a blanket over this fucking thing. 0.98

01:29:18.000 And I wrap him up in a blanket, and I put him in a hamper, and I take him to the doctor. 0.99

01:29:24.000 And I'm like, good luck.

01:29:27.000 You can have the hamper in the bag.

01:29:29.000 Good luck.

01:29:30.000 He calls me when the operation's over, because it was right down the street from my house.

01:29:34.000 How did he do it?

01:29:35.000 I go, how did you do it?

01:29:37.000 He's like, we managed.

01:29:38.000 It was not easy. 1.00

01:29:40.000 He's like, Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

01:29:41.000 I go, I know. 0.99

01:29:42.000 He was a fun guy. 0.99

01:29:43.000 He was like, Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99

01:29:45.000 I go, yeah, he's feral. 1.00

01:29:48.000 But I could pick him up.

01:29:49.000 I could pick him up, and he would purr.

01:29:50.000 He'd be okay.

01:29:52.000 Like, purr louder than any cat ever purred.

01:29:54.000 Like, so happy that he was okay.

01:29:56.000 He was safe.

01:29:57.000 Like, programmed in his mind when he was a bitty-bitty tiny baby.

01:30:01.000 It was like, the world is a scary place for a feral cat.

01:30:04.000 The world is a scary place for that.

01:30:06.000 You still have the cat?

01:30:06.000 No, he's dead now.

01:30:08.000 But became completely domesticated?

01:30:10.000 Not really.

01:30:11.000 No, it was only me.

01:30:13.000 Really?

01:30:13.000 Yeah, that was it.

01:30:14.000 No one else could touch him.

01:30:16.000 Wow.

01:30:17.000 I could go up to him and go, come on, man, come on, man.

01:30:19.000 And I'd pick him up.

01:30:20.000 And he'd be alright.

01:30:21.000 He would even look at me like tense up when I would come near him.

01:30:23.000 But he knew.

01:30:24.000 I'm like, come on, man, come on, man.

01:30:25.000 I'd pick him up.

01:30:28.000 The purring was so loud.

01:30:30.000 It was so appreciative.

01:30:31.000 It was like sobbing love.

01:30:33.000 I'm a new pet person.

01:30:34.000 I never...

01:30:35.000 You just got the first dog. 1.00

01:30:36.000 Gave a shit ever. 0.99

01:30:38.000 It wasn't that I didn't understand, but I definitely didn't have a full grip on when people were like... 1.00

01:30:43.000 Even when Ari got a dog.

01:30:44.000 I remember when Ari first got his dog. 0.99

01:30:45.000 You didn't give a shit about my dog. 0.99

01:30:47.000 You always said, don't bring him, don't put him in the back seat. 1.00

01:30:49.000 You care more about the hair than the dog.

01:30:51.000 A lot of hair.

01:30:51.000 I still care about the hair with my own dog.

01:30:53.000 It's a thing.

01:30:54.000 My dog's a golden retriever. 0.99

01:30:56.000 It's fucking crazy here. 0.99

01:30:57.000 It's everywhere. 0.99

01:30:58.000 Yeah, it's always everywhere.

01:30:59.000 Especially in the summer.

01:31:01.000 I'm changing on that and getting much less...

01:31:03.000 Caring.

01:31:04.000 Like wigged out about that.

01:31:05.000 You just gotta brush him.

01:31:06.000 You can't fight him.

01:31:06.000 You gotta brush him.

01:31:07.000 It's so worth it.

01:31:08.000 It's so worth it is what the thing is.

01:31:10.000 But it took us a couple months, me and the dog, to get like...

01:31:14.000 It was never that I thought the dog was awful.

01:31:16.000 It's the cutest dog I loved, but...

01:31:19.000 For the first couple months, I was like, I think we made a mistake in getting a dog. 0.98

01:31:23.000 He's shitting everywhere. 0.95

01:31:24.000 I was like, yo, I don't think I was prepared for what this was going to be. 0.99

01:31:29.000 You had a bad dog, too.

01:31:31.000 He'd come to barbecues, and he'd always be up there with a hot dog in his mouth. 1.00

01:31:34.000 Like, get the fuck down! 1.00

01:31:36.000 And you tie him up and you find a way around and you get a paw just to get some fucking nuts. 1.00

01:31:41.000 How old was she when that was happening? 0.99

01:31:43.000 Six months.

01:31:43.000 You can't do that.

01:31:45.000 She's a little over one now, but even now she's calming down.

01:31:50.000 She's great.

01:31:50.000 But I never had that feeling with an animal before.

01:31:53.000 It's totally different.

01:31:55.000 But imagine asking a six-month-old child to figure that out.

01:31:58.000 Oh my god.

01:31:58.000 But they can't get onto the table.

01:32:00.000 That's the thing.

01:32:02.000 They're incredibly agile for a six-month-old.

01:32:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:32:06.000 Yeah, they're fucking awesome. 0.99

01:32:07.000 I'm trying to fucking cook. 0.99

01:32:09.000 I'm on the grill. 0.99

01:32:10.000 Literally on the grill and he's jumping up trying to get it.

01:32:12.000 But wouldn't you?

01:32:14.000 Everybody loves you.

01:32:15.000 You're a puppy.

01:32:16.000 Wouldn't you think that that's yours?

01:32:17.000 I'm going to get that food. 1.00

01:32:18.000 That fucking hot dog smells delicious. 1.00

01:32:19.000 It smells like something I like. 1.00

01:32:20.000 Imagine what a hot dog smells like to a dog.

01:32:23.000 A hot dog smells good to you.

01:32:25.000 Imagine what it smells like to a dog.

01:32:26.000 It must be unstoppable.

01:32:28.000 Because dog food doesn't smell good.

01:32:29.000 Does not.

01:32:30.000 It's grotesque.

01:32:32.000 But I'll tell you what I bought.

01:32:33.000 So they started opening dispensaries now in New York.

01:32:35.000 Yeah.

01:32:36.000 And when I was in line, they got me CBD dog treats.

01:32:41.000 Getting your dog high.

01:32:42.000 And I mean, it's so...

01:32:45.000 I... Taking them away now a little bit more because It's addictive to me how fun it is Because you can give her this thing if you give her a whole biscuit Which is by the way the servings like you give them a like just like a dog treat looks a little bone or whatever She eats she takes it like a ritual.

01:33:01.000 She takes over to a certain spot and like chomps on it drops some of it picks it up And then you're almost like, she doesn't seem like anything.

01:33:08.000 And then 15 minutes later, she starts aimlessly walking around the living room.

01:33:13.000 And then it's just a drop out into sleep wherever she's at.

01:33:17.000 And just like down.

01:33:18.000 And like if you try to wait, you're like, hey Dawkins.

01:33:21.000 And she's like, she really does like the one eye, like the bloodshot eye.

01:33:24.000 I'm like, what? 1.00

01:33:26.000 And I'm like, man, that shit. 1.00

01:33:28.000 I've never seen something work so much. 1.00

01:33:30.000 That's amazing.

01:33:32.000 I wonder if it's how it affects them.

01:33:34.000 They're just chill.

01:33:35.000 And by the way, she stopped falling asleep, so that's why I said I was pulling them away, because then she started not falling asleep.

01:33:42.000 She's staying awake, but she's being loopy.

01:33:46.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:33:46.000 She's just looking at you weird.

01:33:48.000 It's hilarious.

01:33:49.000 I think dogs can definitely get high.

01:33:51.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:33:52.000 You know how I know?

01:33:53.000 Do you remember my dog, Lucy?

01:33:55.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:33:55.000 She was the dog that I had.

01:33:57.000 It was a rescue dog.

01:33:58.000 Some friends of mine, they found this dog that was eating out of garbage cans, and they said, she's so sweet, but she's covered in mange.

01:34:06.000 So I said, ah, okay.

01:34:07.000 You even go hunting for your dogs.

01:34:09.000 I just went, no!

01:34:10.000 It's like somebody called me up with a terrible sob story. 1.00

01:34:12.000 They know I'm a pussy. 1.00

01:34:13.000 And so I see this dog, and she's so sweet. 1.00

01:34:17.000 And she has mange all over her body, and so I took her in. 1.00

01:34:20.000 And just feeding her, within a short amount of time, the mange completely- Went away.

01:34:25.000 Completely went away.

01:34:26.000 She was a great dog.

01:34:28.000 But one day, Joey Diaz and I were doing bong hits in my office, and the dog was under the desk, and I didn't think about it.

01:34:37.000 There's actually a photo on the internet of Joey with a sleeveless shirt on.

01:34:42.000 Holding a big handful of weed.

01:34:45.000 It's from that day.

01:34:46.000 See if you can find that picture, because it's a famous picture.

01:34:49.000 That's the picture.

01:34:52.000 So that's me and Joey.

01:34:54.000 That's me and Joey in my office doing bong hits.

01:34:59.000 You know, I bought like an ounce of weed.

01:35:01.000 So look at that.

01:35:02.000 That was back when I was buying weed from the dispensary in Irvine.

01:35:08.000 When there's like two of them?

01:35:10.000 What was the...

01:35:11.000 It was a bad neighborhood.

01:35:12.000 I'm trying to remember the neighborhood. 1.00

01:35:14.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:35:15.000 I forgot. 0.99

01:35:16.000 I'll remember.

01:35:17.000 So that was the day. 0.97

01:35:19.000 So we'd got there and gotten just fucking barbecued. 0.97

01:35:22.000 And the dog was underneath the desk. 0.97

01:35:25.000 And then she was so sketched out afterwards.

01:35:28.000 I was like, you okay? 0.99

01:35:28.000 But she had all this trauma for when she was young and she was homeless and eating out of garbage cans and shit. 0.99

01:35:34.000 She's on drugs again. 1.00

01:35:36.000 Back on the shit. 1.00

01:35:37.000 It all came back. 1.00

01:35:38.000 But I guess dogs like that are probably terrified they're going to go back to that life.

01:35:41.000 Right.

01:35:41.000 You start getting paranoid.

01:35:42.000 Right, you're terrified you're gonna be on the streets again.

01:35:44.000 Why do you bring the friend over?

01:35:45.000 Yeah.

01:35:46.000 Well, it's gotta be to take me away.

01:35:47.000 But imagine a dog not having any idea why all of a sudden it's like hyper freaked out about everything.

01:35:53.000 Yeah, well, the senses in general I've never witnessed before.

01:35:56.000 I'm blown away by like she, like friends of ours who have dogs that she like is with a lot.

01:36:02.000 If we're like, like Justin's house.

01:36:05.000 Yeah.

01:36:05.000 He's got a dog they play all the time.

01:36:06.000 If we're Blocks away, but in the area of town.

01:36:11.000 Of Justin?

01:36:12.000 She perks up.

01:36:13.000 That's like the dog.

01:36:13.000 I don't know what it is.

01:36:15.000 It seems like an impossibility, but she tends to seem to recognize from a car.

01:36:20.000 Just like being down in a car.

01:36:21.000 Yeah, they know it.

01:36:21.000 Not seeing.

01:36:22.000 From smell or something, she just pops up like, we're near that dog.

01:36:25.000 That's wild.

01:36:26.000 That is wild.

01:36:27.000 Yeah.

01:36:28.000 I mean, I don't know how else she could possibly feel.

01:36:30.000 You know what I mean?

01:36:31.000 She's like down.

01:36:31.000 It'd be a pretty crazy coincidence.

01:36:33.000 Weird connection with people.

01:36:35.000 Yeah.

01:36:35.000 It's very weird.

01:36:36.000 Bandit led us to Sal's front door from the elevator after six months gone.

01:36:41.000 When she wasn't even...

01:36:42.000 She was six months old to a year old.

01:36:44.000 And then remember where Sal lived.

01:36:45.000 Some smell in there, yeah.

01:36:46.000 Dude, my dog cuddles with me when I watch TV sometimes.

01:36:50.000 Like, he lies next to me and he puts his head on my chest.

01:36:52.000 Yeah.

01:36:53.000 And I just sit there and petting him.

01:36:54.000 It's like you're watching like a nice show and you have this beautiful love moment with this animal. 0.99

01:37:00.000 That's the greatest shit in the world. 0.99

01:37:01.000 That's just so sweet and all they want is just to be loved and to love you. 0.99

01:37:05.000 You just lean up and give me kisses sometimes.

01:37:07.000 Michael loves you too.

01:37:09.000 I feel like always in those moments.

01:37:10.000 It's the best.

01:37:11.000 It's the best.

01:37:12.000 Nothing's better in the world.

01:37:14.000 Sometimes you gotta pee and you're like, no, I gotta stay here.

01:37:16.000 She's right on me.

01:37:17.000 I find always in those moments while I'm petting and I go, you are the best decision we ever made.

01:37:21.000 You are the best. 1.00

01:37:22.000 Oh fuck, she bit through that leather chair over there. 1.00

01:37:26.000 And you're almost like, why would you bite through that leather chair? 1.00

01:37:29.000 When they're puppies, the scary thing is like extension cords.

01:37:32.000 That's the scary thing.

01:37:34.000 If they bite an electrical cord and get electrocuted.

01:37:36.000 Whoa. 0.99

01:37:37.000 Yeah, that's fucking scary. 0.99

01:37:38.000 That happens to dogs sometimes. 0.99

01:37:40.000 We never had that. 1.00

01:37:40.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful with those little fuckers. 1.00

01:37:42.000 They don't know what to chew and what not to chew. 1.00

01:37:44.000 And you gotta give them things to chew.

01:37:45.000 That's very important.

01:37:46.000 You gotta give them chew toys.

01:37:48.000 Toys to bite on.

01:37:49.000 Yeah, they have to be animals still.

01:37:51.000 Because my dog's a retriever.

01:37:52.000 He brings over a toy when he comes to say hi.

01:37:55.000 Like if someone comes over the house, he runs and gets his toy.

01:37:58.000 I gotta get a toy.

01:37:59.000 Presents it.

01:37:59.000 Like he always has to have a toy.

01:38:01.000 Like he brings a toy to say hi to everybody.

01:38:03.000 It's hilarious. 0.97

01:38:04.000 I thought I was the way dogs play with each other also I thought I was gonna have like enemy after enemy on the street but like two people barely giving a shit like Me smoking a cigarette and some guy on the phone while we just look away let our dogs like what only looks like fight to the death That's their playing. 0.84

01:38:22.000 I'm like, is everyone okay with this? 0.92

01:38:25.000 And you don't have to talk to the other person.

01:38:26.000 It's crazy. 0.98

01:38:27.000 You just go, it's like, oh, hey, our dogs are gonna do each other's pussies and whatever and just let it happen for a minute. 0.91

01:38:33.000 Some dogs, you gotta be careful, though.

01:38:35.000 There's a lot of people with pit bulls that'll fight dogs. 0.96

01:38:40.000 They'll fight dogs when they get close to them.

01:38:42.000 They don't even know why.

01:38:43.000 Just out of instinct.

01:38:44.000 Even if you train them.

01:38:45.000 You have to have a really good trainer to curb that and some dogs.

01:38:49.000 Do you remember the...

01:38:51.000 Were you there when the girl from the...

01:38:53.000 There was a waitress at a comedy club who got a rescue dog, like a pit bull.

01:38:58.000 And then one of the other waitresses went over there. 1.00

01:39:00.000 Her friend went over there to meet the new dog and everything.

01:39:03.000 She said the dog was the sweetest dog.

01:39:05.000 She had her for whatever couple days.

01:39:07.000 And...

01:39:08.000 Like disfigured her for life.

01:39:09.000 No!

01:39:10.000 I mean, she's a gorgeous girl, and she got handled...

01:39:13.000 It was handled pretty well.

01:39:15.000 She's still a gorgeous chick. 1.00

01:39:16.000 But I mean, it's definitely...

01:39:17.000 But I mean, it affected her forever.

01:39:21.000 It was like wild. 1.00

01:39:22.000 Like emergency plastic surgery type shit. 1.00

01:39:25.000 Well, you know, Whitney's always adopting wild animals. 1.00

01:39:27.000 Those dogs are humongous.

01:39:29.000 She's like, me and my dogs, I'm like, put them away.

01:39:32.000 Whitney got like half her ear bitten off once.

01:39:34.000 What?

01:39:34.000 Yeah, she goes, oh, a dog didn't even mean to do it.

01:39:37.000 It's like, they don't even know what they're doing.

01:39:38.000 They don't know their strength.

01:39:39.000 I'm like, your dog bit your ear off.

01:39:41.000 That's an issue.

01:39:42.000 But she kept the dog.

01:39:43.000 Now she's in the horses. 1.00

01:39:44.000 She got it stitched up.

01:39:45.000 Oh, she's always been in the horses. 0.99

01:39:46.000 Is any cock big enough? 1.00

01:39:49.000 That lady loves dogs. 1.00

01:39:50.000 She loves dogs.

01:39:52.000 She's always got a bunch of rescue dogs she's taking care of. 1.00

01:39:54.000 She, like, fosters dogs and then finds them homes and shit. 1.00

01:39:58.000 Can I just say, speaking of rabid dogs. 1.00

01:40:00.000 Yeah, that's her after she got her ear bit off. 1.00

01:40:01.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:40:02.000 Shit. 1.00

01:40:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:04.000 But they put it back on.

01:40:05.000 But they sewed it back on, and I'm fine. 0.96

01:40:07.000 She's so crazy! 1.00

01:40:08.000 She's a lunatic. 1.00

01:40:09.000 She's a full lunatic. 1.00

01:40:12.000 She's at the mothership this weekend, isn't she? 1.00

01:40:14.000 I think she is.

01:40:15.000 Oh, yeah.

01:40:16.000 I just saw it was the premiere for the...

01:40:18.000 She produced the Burt Roast.

01:40:21.000 Yeah.

01:40:22.000 Nice.

01:40:23.000 Yeah, that's a wild lady. 1.00

01:40:25.000 Fuck it, I was saying this yesterday, too. 1.00

01:40:27.000 She's getting to know her more lately in the last few years. 1.00

01:40:30.000 She's a boss chick. 1.00

01:40:31.000 She runs shit. 1.00

01:40:32.000 She really runs shit. 1.00

01:40:33.000 She runs shit. 1.00

01:40:34.000 She's an impressive person, yeah. 1.00

01:40:36.000 Very impressive. 0.99

01:40:37.000 Yeah, she's smart as fuck, man. 1.00

01:40:39.000 Maybe too smart. 1.00

01:40:40.000 One time I was having a conversation with her out of nowhere.

01:40:44.000 She calls me up.

01:40:45.000 She goes, I'm producing a documentary on violence. 0.99

01:40:49.000 I was like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

01:40:51.000 Like, what are you doing? 0.99

01:40:53.000 That's so vague also.

01:40:54.000 How do you have time for this?

01:40:55.000 She told me about that wild Italian thing that they do like once a year where it's like MMA mixed with like rugby.

01:41:03.000 What?

01:41:04.000 Have you seen that?

01:41:04.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:05.000 That weird...

01:41:06.000 What is it called?

01:41:07.000 Cherico or something?

01:41:08.000 I forget the name of it.

01:41:09.000 It's some...

01:41:09.000 Weird.

01:41:10.000 It's a big gang fight.

01:41:11.000 It's a big gang fight.

01:41:12.000 Oh, so she's going to see it?

01:41:12.000 And she told me about this.

01:41:13.000 She's like, have you heard of this?

01:41:14.000 I go, no, what is this?

01:41:15.000 And so she was doing a documentary on violence.

01:41:18.000 And this was one of the subjects.

01:41:21.000 It was MMA fights and this stuff.

01:41:24.000 So it's basically, it's like some kind of a ball game, but they beat the fuck out of each other. 0.50

01:41:32.000 Calcio. 0.87

01:41:33.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

01:41:35.000 Calcio storico.

01:41:37.000 That's it.

01:41:38.000 I don't know if I'm saying that right, even though I'm Italian. 0.98

01:41:40.000 But these guys just beat the fuck out of each other, man. 0.97

01:41:44.000 They throw down bare knuckle. 1.00

01:41:45.000 They throw leg kicks and shit. 1.00

01:41:47.000 I mean... 1.00

01:41:47.000 It's their Ellis Mania. 1.00

01:41:49.000 And I don't think there's anybody that stops the fights either.

01:41:52.000 They just let it go till they're knocked out.

01:41:53.000 I think they just, you know, decide not to kill each other.

01:41:55.000 Look at this.

01:41:56.000 Oh! 0.60

01:41:56.000 But there's something, there's a game to it, and then the game stops and a fight starts? 0.60

01:42:00.000 Yeah, this is wild, man.

01:42:02.000 Look at those guys.

01:42:02.000 Everybody's holding somebody down.

01:42:04.000 Yeah, they hold them down, they're beating people up from the mount, and there's so many of them.

01:42:07.000 Look how many guys are on the field.

01:42:09.000 Look, that guy's in full guard down there, and there's another guy who's got a guy in side control.

01:42:14.000 This is crazy.

01:42:17.000 So I found out about this from Whitney.

01:42:18.000 This was called...

01:42:19.000 You would think that I would know about that.

01:42:20.000 That was called...

01:42:21.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:42:22.000 I mean, that's like, essentially...

01:42:24.000 That was called Smear the Queer in Philadelphia. 0.99

01:42:26.000 Smear the Queer was a good one. 1.00

01:42:27.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:42:29.000 Yeah, Kill the Cow. 1.00

01:42:32.000 Smear the Queer. 1.00

01:42:33.000 I'll be honest with you, Kill the Cow hurt more if I was, like, holding the ball. 1.00

01:42:38.000 Kill that cow. 1.00

01:42:39.000 You're like, shut up, guys. 1.00

01:42:40.000 You know I'm sensitive. 1.00

01:42:40.000 Smear the Queer goes, I'll be the queer. 1.00

01:42:43.000 Do you ever do hug the pole in like 21 or something? 1.00

01:42:46.000 Where if you lose, you have to hug the basketball pole and whoever won gets to whip the basketball at your ass? 0.95

01:42:51.000 No, we had a game called Suicide that was like a wall, ball-based game, but it was like something if the ball touched you and you didn't catch it, tennis ball always, you had to run to the wall and like touch it and say suicide. 0.99

01:43:04.000 But while you were making, until that happened, everybody else could pick up the ball and just try to zing it at you as hard as they could.

01:43:11.000 And then if you...

01:43:13.000 If you pussed out and said, if someone called you out for like saying suicide before you touched the wall, then they got a free peg, which means you had to stand there like a firing line.

01:43:23.000 And I'll tell you, the fear is like, we had some, there was some Randy Johnson like sidearm guys, and it was almost worse when it was missed because the fear, when you'd hear like the air being split as it like zips by your head and just misses you is nuts.

01:43:38.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:43:40.000 Philly.

01:43:40.000 There's no internet yet.

01:43:41.000 Crazy fucking people. 1.00

01:43:43.000 Our porn was all analog back then, so we had to do this. 1.00

01:43:46.000 If you could go back and get those guys that were on the skyscrapers, building those skyscrapers, eating lunch.

01:43:53.000 Remember those guys?

01:43:53.000 With their legs dangling?

01:43:54.000 Yeah.

01:43:55.000 If you could get those guys and drop them off in a tech conference. 0.98

01:44:00.000 In 2023, they were probably like, what the fuck happened to men? 0.98

01:44:04.000 What is this? 0.99

01:44:06.000 Imagine.

01:44:07.000 Imagine if you just transported those guys to the future.

01:44:10.000 Like, essentially 100 years.

01:44:11.000 The concept that someone wears a suit every day.

01:44:13.000 Just looking at these guys with their pronouns on their badges. 0.99

01:44:19.000 What the fuck happened? 0.99

01:44:21.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:44:21.000 He him? 1.00

01:44:22.000 No, that's gone.

01:44:24.000 They'd be like, what are you talking about?

01:44:25.000 Work.

01:44:25.000 Roger with the man face and the man body has he him in his badge?

01:44:31.000 Yeah, he goes, I believe it.

01:44:32.000 Everybody's doing this now?

01:44:33.000 They'd be like, what is... 0.99

01:44:34.000 Like, what the fuck happened? 0.96

01:44:35.000 Also, electricity. 0.99

01:44:37.000 Also, like, you know, how come you guys have so much food?

01:44:40.000 Bidets.

01:44:41.000 Bidets also.

01:44:42.000 A lot of food.

01:44:43.000 Bidets will blow their mind. 1.00

01:44:45.000 Yeah.

01:44:45.000 Look at this guy.

01:44:46.000 You've seen this guy in the 1980s?

01:44:48.000 What?

01:44:49.000 Yeah.

01:44:49.000 Albert Stock.

01:44:50.000 Look at this motherfucker. 1.00

01:44:52.000 Wow. 1.00

01:44:53.000 Bro.

01:44:54.000 Watch when he calms down.

01:44:56.000 That's what's even crazier.

01:44:57.000 What's he doing?

01:44:58.000 Don't see that.

01:44:58.000 He shimmies down, bro.

01:44:59.000 No, no.

01:45:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:45:00.000 Watch this.

01:45:03.000 This is in the 1980s.

01:45:04.000 What?

01:45:05.000 Look at this.

01:45:05.000 I'm having it happen right now.

01:45:07.000 This guy's an athlete.

01:45:07.000 I have a physical reaction to this.

01:45:09.000 Gotta be Cambodian. 1.00

01:45:09.000 You should have a fucking physical reaction to this. 1.00

01:45:11.000 Like I'm saying my legs feel like gummy when I watch this. 1.00

01:45:13.000 He didn't even slow down. 0.85

01:45:14.000 Bro, this guy's an animal. 1.00

01:45:15.000 He's a fucking animal. 1.00

01:45:17.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:45:17.000 The strength and the skill along with the courage to be up there where one fuck... 1.00

01:45:23.000 Look at him climb, dude! 1.00

01:45:25.000 Are you fucking shitting me? 1.00

01:45:26.000 Are you fucking shitting me? 1.00

01:45:28.000 Jesus Christ, this guy's a construction worker. 1.00

01:45:32.000 He's like an athlete.

01:45:33.000 Look at him.

01:45:34.000 Wow.

01:45:34.000 He's a climbing athlete.

01:45:37.000 He's got a fucking tool bag on, dude. 1.00

01:45:40.000 He's doing this while he's got a tool bag on. 1.00

01:45:42.000 This is insanity.

01:45:44.000 How does this guy practice?

01:45:46.000 Here's my question.

01:45:47.000 Because you can't just get good at this on the job.

01:45:50.000 You ever see it go bad?

01:45:51.000 How many guys would die?

01:45:54.000 You've never seen a show on the ground floor?

01:45:57.000 But to do this?

01:45:59.000 Come on, man. 1.00

01:46:00.000 Who the fuck is doing this? 1.00

01:46:02.000 That's a different state of mind. 1.00

01:46:04.000 Bro, are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

01:46:06.000 That guy could take over the world. 1.00

01:46:08.000 What are you even doing up there?

01:46:09.000 There's nothing going on up there.

01:46:10.000 What's the point?

01:46:12.000 There's nothing there for you.

01:46:13.000 The guy who's got the ability.

01:46:15.000 Mine are too.

01:46:17.000 Yeah, me too.

01:46:18.000 Have you seen the picture of the guy that took the photo of those guys sitting on that 30s?

01:46:22.000 What's he doing?

01:46:23.000 No.

01:46:23.000 He's got his head under a car.

01:46:26.000 Bro, this guy's an animal. 0.93

01:46:29.000 Look at him out there.

01:46:30.000 But have you ever seen this kind of stuff go bad?

01:46:32.000 The pull-ups?

01:46:34.000 The one on the side of the building.

01:46:35.000 It's nuts.

01:46:36.000 And you see him when he can't do pull-ups anymore.

01:46:39.000 He starts to struggle.

01:46:40.000 And he's trying to get his leg up.

01:46:41.000 At some point you have to accept, like... 1.00

01:46:44.000 Shit, it's not happening. 0.99

01:46:44.000 He doesn't do that last pull-up, and he's like, oh, you don't get up after that. 0.99

01:46:47.000 And it's like, um...

01:46:48.000 Well, you know, doing that, like, hanging on a ledge and getting all the way up to the top is not easy.

01:46:56.000 Even if you can do a pull-up.

01:46:57.000 To get up to the top where you can get your body weight over the sides.

01:47:00.000 To get your arm above it and pull yourself up and to have that kind of weird muscle-up strength.

01:47:07.000 Oh my god, look at that guy.

01:47:08.000 He's just standing there.

01:47:09.000 He brought a camera up there.

01:47:12.000 Someone had to take these pictures.

01:47:14.000 Jesus Christ, these guys are animals!

01:47:16.000 They're napping! 1.00

01:47:17.000 They're fucking napping! 1.00

01:47:19.000 They're napping on a beam! 1.00

01:47:21.000 Oh my god, that's so insane!

01:47:24.000 My feet are twitching.

01:47:26.000 My feet are twitching. 0.99

01:47:27.000 My fucking feet are sweaty right now. 0.99

01:47:29.000 That's what I said. 0.99

01:47:30.000 He's brought a radio up.

01:47:31.000 The guy brought a radio.

01:47:32.000 He's smoking a cigarette.

01:47:34.000 But back then, so many people were dead by the time they were 15. Yeah, I got six months left anyway.

01:47:39.000 Their wives only had missionary sex for procreation. 1.00

01:47:42.000 Everyone's never going home, too. 0.94

01:47:43.000 He goes, you know what?

01:47:44.000 I'm just gonna leave.

01:47:44.000 I'm in the middle of this book.

01:47:46.000 I stare death in the eye every day, so when I go home, I'm happy to be bored. 0.68

01:47:49.000 In the middle of this book about the early days of cities and how fucking filthy the streets were and how many diseases there were. 0.94

01:47:57.000 People stacked on top of each other. 0.98

01:48:00.000 It's horrific, man.

01:48:01.000 You think about what life was like back then. 1.00

01:48:03.000 I mean, those fucking people did not live long. 0.99

01:48:06.000 No. 1.00

01:48:07.000 Dirt roads and stuff.

01:48:08.000 That was a hard life, man.

01:48:10.000 Living in an urban environment.

01:48:11.000 Disease everywhere.

01:48:12.000 Black plague any day.

01:48:13.000 19 and 10. Fucking horrible that would be. 0.99

01:48:17.000 No AC. No concept of an AC. Steam cars going down the road. 0.99

01:48:21.000 Or a bucket out your window to get supplies and bring it back up. 0.99

01:48:24.000 Shit everywhere. 1.00

01:48:24.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:48:25.000 Shanty towns everywhere. 1.00

01:48:27.000 During the Great Depression, they had shantytowns everywhere.

01:48:30.000 We think that this is an unusual thing to have people camping in the streets.

01:48:34.000 You ever go back and watch those images of the Depression? 0.98

01:48:37.000 Fucking shantytowns all outside of cities. 1.00

01:48:39.000 No fucking running water. 1.00

01:48:41.000 Raw sewage. 1.00

01:48:43.000 Ugh.

01:48:43.000 People stacked in apartment tenements on top of each other with no ventilation.

01:48:47.000 It smells like shit when you walk in there. 1.00

01:48:49.000 Bad plumbing, no plumbing, outdoor porta-potties for fucking everybody in the neighborhood. 1.00

01:48:56.000 It's just disease. 1.00

01:48:56.000 It outhouses. 1.00

01:48:57.000 They said the plague was coming back in LA, in the homeless community. 0.95

01:49:00.000 Oh yeah, they said.

01:49:01.000 What was it?

01:49:02.000 Which disease was it?

01:49:03.000 I don't know.

01:49:04.000 They always say the plague.

01:49:05.000 The plague, yeah.

01:49:06.000 No, it was something wild.

01:49:07.000 It was something like, that's still, I barely even remember hearing about that.

01:49:10.000 Yeah, what was it, Jamie?

01:49:11.000 It wasn't like rickets.

01:49:12.000 It was like a medieval disease.

01:49:14.000 Yeah.

01:49:14.000 Yeah, it was one of them weird bubonic plague.

01:49:17.000 Bubonic plague.

01:49:18.000 Yeah.

01:49:19.000 And people were like, well, you just got a hands off.

01:49:21.000 Well, you know, these people are unhoused.

01:49:23.000 Yeah.

01:49:24.000 I like to say I'm unhoused because I live in an apartment.

01:49:27.000 People don't like that.

01:49:28.000 That doesn't count.

01:49:29.000 Remember that conspiracy from the documentary about that hotel in L.A. that all the homeless outside were getting tuberculosis and they thought it was because the girl She was studying tuberculosis in college.

01:49:46.000 Maybe she was a biological weapon to get to the homeless outside of that hotel. 1.00

01:49:52.000 What a conspiracy.

01:49:54.000 No, she was off her meds.

01:49:55.000 This is crazy.

01:49:56.000 I hate that...

01:49:58.000 When they stretch out four episodes of something where each one was like, well, was it a ghost?

01:50:03.000 They go, no.

01:50:04.000 It wasn't a ghost.

01:50:05.000 It was a real person.

01:50:05.000 But what is she looking at?

01:50:08.000 There was clearly another person.

01:50:10.000 And then the explanation of the...

01:50:11.000 Watch all the lights or it stops on all these floors or something.

01:50:17.000 And it was like, yeah, she came in and just whacked. 0.95

01:50:19.000 So it's not crazy.

01:50:21.000 The wait time for the doors to close.

01:50:23.000 Everything just added up and the whole documentary came around to like, ah, she was just a whack job, jumped in a...

01:50:28.000 Well, she got off her meds.

01:50:29.000 Her family knew that she was medicated.

01:50:31.000 She decided to go to downtown L.A. and stay in this wacky hotel.

01:50:35.000 I think that's the hotel I dropped off at Breva.

01:50:37.000 While they're doing all of that research they've been trying to figure out in the investigation, when they came to that answer, her family was like, yeah, that adds up.

01:50:46.000 She'd probably get naked and jump into a poor house. 1.00

01:50:49.000 Yeah, that makes sense. 0.96

01:50:51.000 Yep.

01:50:51.000 They weren't even, like, suspicious.

01:50:53.000 They were like, oh, right.

01:50:55.000 Yeah, that does.

01:50:55.000 Some people are out there.

01:50:57.000 They're crazy. 1.00

01:50:58.000 Some crazy people are out there. 0.99

01:51:00.000 We've got to push Jay Special. 0.54

01:51:01.000 Yeah, people are pushing it.

01:51:03.000 Yeah.

01:51:03.000 Pushing it hard.

01:51:04.000 How excited are you now?

01:51:05.000 It's the first one in seven years, buddy.

01:51:06.000 What, are you directing the conversation?

01:51:07.000 I don't know.

01:51:08.000 We've got to push it a little bit.

01:51:09.000 We're going to talk about it.

01:51:13.000 That's his dog belly.

01:51:14.000 Dog belly.

01:51:15.000 Big Jay Overson, available right now on YouTube.

01:51:18.000 That's both our dog's bellies. 1.00

01:51:19.000 Where'd you film that?

01:51:20.000 We did it at Skankfest, Vegas. 1.00

01:51:22.000 I like the fucking set. 0.99

01:51:23.000 Last year. 0.99

01:51:24.000 Yeah, they did an amazing job.

01:51:25.000 You look like you're ready to Alhamdulillah and blow up a building. 1.00

01:51:28.000 Look at that. 0.87

01:51:31.000 Leading the charge.

01:51:32.000 Yeah, no, we did it at Skank Fest.

01:51:34.000 Two shows.

01:51:35.000 It was awesome. 1.00

01:51:36.000 Look at your hair, you sexy bitch. 1.00

01:51:37.000 I know. 1.00

01:51:38.000 It's poor Ari.

01:51:39.000 Ari thought...

01:51:41.000 It just grew out, and I've been on the road so much, I haven't been able to get it done.

01:51:44.000 Again, red.

01:51:45.000 And Ari didn't know that, and when he showed up in the town today, he red-streaked the side of his hair.

01:51:50.000 I did this the morning of the flight.

01:51:50.000 That's like a solidarity funny sign.

01:51:53.000 Beautiful.

01:51:53.000 And I don't have it.

01:51:55.000 Oh.

01:51:55.000 I like it, Ari.

01:51:56.000 I'm not such a fan.

01:51:58.000 No?

01:51:59.000 Okay. 0.98

01:51:59.000 A black guy made fun of him last night. 0.98

01:52:01.000 I think you started shaving your whole head, bro. 1.00

01:52:03.000 Off.

01:52:04.000 Yeah.

01:52:04.000 Yeah, maybe.

01:52:05.000 Shave that nonsense on the side, anyway.

01:52:08.000 I got a bad toupee.

01:52:09.000 It does look that bad.

01:52:10.000 You gotta let it go.

01:52:11.000 But yeah, when David Lucas made fun of you, you hated it.

01:52:15.000 It's not how I normally wear this hair.

01:52:17.000 David Lucas is so funny, roasting.

01:52:19.000 When you and Tony go after each other, oh my god, they go after each other.

01:52:23.000 It's as hard as I ever laugh.

01:52:25.000 Someone has to be really killing, but they'll do it for five minutes.

01:52:30.000 For five minutes, you're just holding your side where they go back and forth at each other.

01:52:34.000 Off the cuff.

01:52:36.000 Man, they must be sitting around all...

01:52:37.000 I know Tony does.

01:52:38.000 I bet all day Monday he's sitting around smoking pot, trying to think of things he could say to David Lucas.

01:52:45.000 And then also come up with some...

01:52:47.000 Yeah, for sure!

01:52:49.000 I guarantee he's doing that little psycho.

01:52:51.000 I guarantee you.

01:52:52.000 Every week, they probably both do it. 1.00

01:52:54.000 They probably sit around and think of what kind of mean shit they're going to say to each other. 0.99

01:52:57.000 It is funny. 0.99

01:53:00.000 Instinctually, when I see David now, like if I'm doing Kill Tony and I see he's going to go on, I start right away just looking at everything on him just to be like, all right, well, can I have something?

01:53:08.000 He's going to say something about my hair or my wallet or something.

01:53:12.000 He's the best at that.

01:53:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:53:14.000 Him and Tony are the fucking perfect combination. 0.99

01:53:17.000 He smokes the vape the way Mooney used to drink, like, champagnes. 0.99

01:53:19.000 He's just like...

01:53:21.000 Like he's almost too good to talk about you.

01:53:23.000 He's casual.

01:53:24.000 Yeah.

01:53:25.000 Mooney was the king of casual with that little tiny bottle of champagne.

01:53:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:29.000 Oh, bitch, please. 1.00

01:53:30.000 And he would take a sip of the champagne. 1.00

01:53:32.000 Like, he would hit punchlines and take a sip of the champagne.

01:53:36.000 Yeah.

01:53:37.000 Paul Mooney?

01:53:38.000 Paul Mooney, man.

01:53:39.000 That was the funniest realization I've ever had. 0.65

01:53:43.000 Of, like, I should have known all along on Paul Mooney being gay. 0.93

01:53:46.000 Was that, uh, standing outside of Caroline's.

01:53:49.000 And I'm just, like, facing away from the building and someone said...

01:53:52.000 They were like, oh, this time there's a story.

01:53:54.000 Something happened with him.

01:53:56.000 His boyfriend or something was mad at him.

01:53:58.000 Paul Mooney's going, I go, boyfriend?

01:54:00.000 They go, yeah. 0.74

01:54:01.000 I went, Paul Mooney's gay? 0.98

01:54:04.000 And then they turned me around, and it's his headshot.

01:54:07.000 He's got little circle glasses, a hat that has fringes on it, and it's tied around his chin.

01:54:12.000 And I was like, oh.

01:54:15.000 Yup, there it is. 0.97

01:54:17.000 He's gay the whole time. 1.00

01:54:18.000 It was wild seeing him on stage before. 0.98

01:54:20.000 You look at him.

01:54:22.000 My brother was like, how come it only talks about the one thing and not at all about the other thing?

01:54:26.000 It was nuts.

01:54:27.000 Yeah, he never really did.

01:54:28.000 Oh, about being gay?

01:54:29.000 Yeah.

01:54:30.000 Well, in the era that he came up, you've got to remember, he was one of Pryor's guys.

01:54:34.000 He was one of Pryor's writers.

01:54:36.000 R-I-D-E-R. He was a writer.

01:54:39.000 He was a great comic.

01:54:42.000 I mean, he really was.

01:54:43.000 But I don't think he ever got his due.

01:54:46.000 No, white people didn't know him.

01:54:48.000 I didn't know he was until comedy.

01:54:49.000 He was the guy at the Comedy Store that when he would go on stage, especially after something happened, he always had material on it.

01:54:59.000 Really good material. 0.95

01:55:01.000 He always was like, anytime some shit went down, Paul Mooney wrote something. 0.95

01:55:05.000 He had a bit about the Spirit Airlines crash. 0.99

01:55:08.000 No, it wasn't Spirit Airlines.

01:55:09.000 It was some janky airlines that crashed into the swamp.

01:55:12.000 And he was talking about this woman clutching her purse while the alligator's eating her.

01:55:18.000 And it was such a funny bit, man.

01:55:22.000 It was like right after it happened.

01:55:25.000 And he set it up.

01:55:27.000 It was masterfully the way he set it up.

01:55:30.000 So everyone's just laughing at these victims.

01:55:32.000 I love it.

01:55:33.000 It was so good.

01:55:34.000 But it was like, it was so good, it was right after the tragedy.

01:55:37.000 So you know, I mean, you know, whatever you feel about tasteless jokes after tragedies. 0.98

01:55:43.000 The fact that this guy went up and did that like a day later and it was funny as fuck. 0.97

01:55:49.000 It was really funny. 0.89

01:55:51.000 Do you think he didn't get his due ultimately because of his personality, or do you think his personality developed because of not getting his due?

01:55:58.000 I don't know.

01:55:59.000 I've met him several times and even done shows with him at Caroline's years ago, and he was never very nice at all, like in almost any way.

01:56:06.000 Mooney has a crust that you have to get through to get his trust, and once you get his trust, he is very kind.

01:56:11.000 You had to compliment him.

01:56:12.000 I saw him talk to an HBO guy in the back.

01:56:14.000 It wasn't just that, man.

01:56:15.000 It wasn't just that.

01:56:15.000 He had to respect you.

01:56:17.000 You know, it was like, you know, Mooney was like...

01:56:21.000 He'd been around a long time. 1.00

01:56:22.000 He'd seen a lot of shit. 0.98

01:56:23.000 He was a part of Richard Pryor's golden age, and now here he is in the year 2005, hanging out with me and Ari. 0.99

01:56:30.000 It was a long time.

01:56:32.000 He saw some guy from HBO, and he's like, Paul, how you been? 0.99

01:56:34.000 Just a fucking fake, like all of them. 0.98

01:56:37.000 He goes, how you been? 0.99

01:56:37.000 He's like, I've been good. 0.99

01:56:38.000 How about you?

01:56:39.000 He wasn't even playing pretend.

01:56:42.000 And he just kept going like, yo, we gotta do something soon.

01:56:45.000 He goes, oh, do we?

01:56:46.000 And he goes, yeah.

01:56:47.000 He goes, um...

01:56:49.000 He goes, I gotta get your number.

01:56:50.000 I don't have a pen.

01:56:50.000 Do you?

01:56:50.000 He goes, no, motherfucker, I don't.

01:56:52.000 Do you? 1.00

01:56:54.000 That sounds like Paul Mooney. 0.99

01:56:56.000 Yeah, he didn't give a fuck, dude. 1.00

01:56:59.000 No, motherfucker, I don't. 1.00

01:57:00.000 When that guy liked you, it was a badge of honor. 1.00

01:57:04.000 He was laughing in the back of the room one time when I was on stage.

01:57:07.000 That's pretty nice.

01:57:07.000 And it was the nicest thing ever.

01:57:09.000 And then he told me I was funny.

01:57:10.000 I was like, oh my god, thank you.

01:57:11.000 That was Patrice.

01:57:12.000 Patrice said that in New York.

01:57:13.000 He was gonna hate you.

01:57:15.000 Everybody's worried that Paul Mooney was gonna hate him.

01:57:17.000 Can you imagine this guy was around in the 70s? 1.00

01:57:19.000 And here he is 35 years later watching us young fucking snot-nosed idiots. 1.00

01:57:25.000 Did he have his money though? 1.00

01:57:26.000 Was he wealthy?

01:57:27.000 I don't know.

01:57:28.000 I don't know.

01:57:28.000 He used to do LTC. Sold out the improv all the time back then.

01:57:32.000 He was still a great comic.

01:57:33.000 When he would go up, we would all watch him.

01:57:36.000 Three hours, too.

01:57:38.000 He would go on forever sometimes.

01:57:39.000 He would go on for long sets if he wanted to.

01:57:41.000 He'd always go on late.

01:57:42.000 It was nice.

01:57:43.000 He was a great comic.

01:57:46.000 I wonder what the writing process was with him and Pryor.

01:57:51.000 I wonder what that was like.

01:57:52.000 I wonder how they did it back then.

01:57:56.000 How about they just sat there and wrote?

01:57:59.000 Maybe.

01:57:59.000 Maybe they did a lot of drugs.

01:58:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:58:02.000 Did you have to let your ears breathe?

01:58:03.000 I gotta go to the bathroom again.

01:58:04.000 Go to the bathroom. 0.98

01:58:05.000 Go to the bathroom. 0.98

01:58:06.000 Man, it's been neat a lot lately.

01:58:09.000 Yesterday I totally over-modulated, over-hydrated.

01:58:14.000 Oh yeah, they gave us, when we were leaving the club yesterday, they gave us liquid IV. It's like eight bottles of water in one bottle of water.

01:58:21.000 I think it's like two.

01:58:22.000 Sure.

01:58:23.000 It's like two.

01:58:24.000 It hydrates you.

01:58:26.000 Peter Attia was explaining it to me.

01:58:27.000 There's an actual formula.

01:58:30.000 That it works with, like, 16 ounces of water.

01:58:33.000 Like, it doubles the hydration.

01:58:34.000 I don't understand it.

01:58:35.000 Sure, I just drank it. 1.00

01:58:36.000 I'm too fucking stupid. 1.00

01:58:38.000 Yeah, I just drank it. 1.00

01:58:38.000 But it's filled with electrolytes, and it tastes good. 1.00

01:58:41.000 And it's good for you.

01:58:43.000 It's really good after workouts.

01:58:45.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:58:45.000 After sauna.

01:58:46.000 I got that Mike Tyson student glass brand, but Mike Tyson version of the gravity bong thing.

01:58:54.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:58:55.000 Have you seen that?

01:58:55.000 No, but Jamie had one in here.

01:58:57.000 We're all terrified of it.

01:58:58.000 Really?

01:58:59.000 It's awesome.

01:59:01.000 I'm sure it is.

01:59:02.000 If you wouldn't just get obliterated and melt into the couch.

01:59:05.000 Yeah, I guess it does.

01:59:06.000 Do you dab?

01:59:08.000 I stopped.

01:59:10.000 Well, more than anything else, like, the process is so, like, I never got into the ritual of it.

01:59:16.000 I feel like it's a lot to go through to have coughing that's violent.

01:59:21.000 Oh, and then there was, you know, did you see?

01:59:24.000 I went down.

01:59:25.000 I almost passed out on Legion of Skanks doing dabs.

01:59:27.000 No, I didn't see.

01:59:28.000 That's on YouTube.

01:59:29.000 You can see me going down.

01:59:30.000 It's like, what's happening?

01:59:31.000 How did you do?

01:59:32.000 Well, here's what it was.

01:59:34.000 I did almost every time I would do the dab.

01:59:37.000 Part of like, wait, pause it for a second.

01:59:39.000 Anytime I've done a...

01:59:41.000 A dab.

01:59:42.000 If it's a good dab, I would see it as, like, I'd get that feeling where I'd cough and I'd almost be like, you know, the room's got to kind of, like, come together for a second.

01:59:51.000 You know what I mean?

01:59:51.000 Almost dizzy.

01:59:52.000 Yeah.

01:59:53.000 But I thought that was kind of like the fun of the high of it.

01:59:56.000 And on this one, I do that.

01:59:58.000 That's happening.

01:59:58.000 I'm on a podcast, so I'm trying not to cough violently.

02:00:01.000 I'm keeping my coughs in.

02:00:03.000 And while I'm doing that, my next inhale is Lewis just turns and hands me another dab.

02:00:10.000 So I just do it all over again.

02:00:12.000 I didn't breathe. 0.99

02:00:13.000 And you see my head start going, and my hand starts like shit. 0.99

02:00:16.000 It looks scary. 0.96

02:00:17.000 A lot of people that were going...

02:00:19.000 You know, everyone diagnoses you after this happens, of course, but I just almost passed out.

02:00:25.000 No.

02:00:27.000 You remember this, Ari?

02:00:28.000 No.

02:00:28.000 Look at Mullen.

02:00:30.000 Mullen can already tell something's up.

02:00:31.000 What was it like?

02:00:32.000 What were you experiencing right here?

02:00:34.000 I was aware, still.

02:00:37.000 Weirdly.

02:00:38.000 But what was it like?

02:00:39.000 What were you experiencing?

02:00:39.000 Look at Dave realize.

02:00:41.000 And he's like, no wait.

02:00:42.000 No, he's joking.

02:00:43.000 And I'm fine immediately again.

02:00:52.000 Oh my god, I thought you were acting.

02:00:54.000 I really thought you were doing a bit.

02:00:56.000 I'm back.

02:01:00.000 What I was experiencing, I knew my head was going down, but I just thought I was kind of going down and coughing, and then I heard Lewis go, Jay?

02:01:11.000 And I was like, yes.

02:01:13.000 Why is the crowd behind you guys?

02:01:17.000 Instead of us facing them.

02:01:19.000 But they project the show and all the stuff to the audience.

02:01:25.000 So in front of us, they're seeing a screen of us and all of the stuff we do.

02:01:31.000 But meanwhile, you're right in front of them.

02:01:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.96

02:01:33.000 That seems ridiculous. 0.84

02:01:34.000 It's like watching a Twitch stream. 0.69

02:01:36.000 Yeah, don't do that.

02:01:36.000 I never really thought of it that way.

02:01:37.000 That sucks for the people that are there.

02:01:38.000 Didn't we used to face the audience? 0.98

02:01:39.000 Or do they sit all around us?

02:01:40.000 Bro, you can figure that out.

02:01:42.000 You guys can figure that out.

02:01:43.000 Put cameras in a better spot.

02:01:44.000 Oh, Harrington.

02:01:45.000 Facing the audience?

02:01:45.000 Yeah, you can have cameras facing the audience if you want to.

02:01:48.000 Well, Lewis, you've heard it here.

02:01:50.000 Rogan says you're failing.

02:01:52.000 Bobby's cursing this guy right now.

02:01:53.000 The people talking should be facing the audience.

02:01:55.000 I agree.

02:01:56.000 I agree.

02:01:56.000 It's done badly right now.

02:01:58.000 That's ridiculous. 0.96

02:01:59.000 Your back? 1.00

02:01:59.000 They're behind you? 1.00

02:02:01.000 Why are they there?

02:02:01.000 What, are you a priest?

02:02:02.000 Why are they there?

02:02:03.000 Are they behind you?

02:02:05.000 Let me give you Lewis' theory on that.

02:02:06.000 I know there actually is one, and I don't heavily disagree with it.

02:02:10.000 The show is also for the majority of people taking it in are watching from home.

02:02:18.000 So the idea is saying to play to... 0.97

02:02:21.000 Like each other more than play when you're staring at the crowd you tend to go and we did when we did face the audience We would do a lot more like trying the hand and not paying attention to each other in a conversation On one hand, you know kind of courage it takes to turn your back to your fucking crowd Yeah, 0.98

02:02:37.000 you're not wrong Hundreds of people and you're talking mad shit and there's people behind you.

02:02:42.000 It is an added element of danger Well, it's also in a club where sometimes, like, through the cracks comes somebody who just came to the club. 0.98

02:02:50.000 Yeah, right.

02:02:50.000 And was like, there happens to be a...

02:02:52.000 Because we're sold out pretty much for, like, weeks in advance, but there'll be...

02:02:55.000 And we've had, like, two weeks ago...

02:02:57.000 Thank God they tend to be pretty cool, usually, where they quietly leave, but we'll end up calling it out anyway.

02:03:01.000 They'll be like, this is not for me.

02:03:02.000 Yeah, but there was a lady from Canada and her 17-year-old son was with her.

02:03:07.000 Oh, we tried to get him high?

02:03:08.000 Yeah, you were on that episode.

02:03:10.000 But she ended up being super cool, but they had no idea what they were walking into.

02:03:13.000 We lucked out that she was a cool mom.

02:03:16.000 Oh, my God.

02:03:16.000 That kid rules.

02:03:18.000 We were like, says, hi, we've decided you will smoke weed.

02:03:20.000 And he's like...

02:03:21.000 Can I? Can you imagine not knowing what you're doing?

02:03:26.000 You walk into a Legion of Skanks show?

02:03:28.000 It's crazy.

02:03:28.000 It's actually, we've yelled at the club for that before.

02:03:31.000 Like, hey, don't do that to people.

02:03:32.000 Because then, when they're upset with us, I still kind of feel for them.

02:03:36.000 Like, well, if you didn't want to see something like this, you should have to watch this.

02:03:40.000 It's not their fault.

02:03:41.000 They should have been warned going in there.

02:03:43.000 It should have been warned.

02:03:44.000 I'm happy you're selling it.

02:03:45.000 When it happens, they went over and it ends up being a good thing.

02:03:48.000 It is cool when they catch up, though.

02:03:50.000 And they're like, okay, I'll go with this.

02:03:51.000 But there is times when people leave and you can see their faces.

02:03:54.000 You're like, why would you have put them...

02:03:55.000 It's not a stand-up show.

02:03:56.000 It's not their thing, yeah.

02:03:57.000 It's not a stand-up show.

02:03:59.000 They came to watch a stand-up show and you go, well, there's this other thing.

02:04:02.000 And without giving them enough, like...

02:04:05.000 It could go pretty haywire in there. 1.00

02:04:08.000 You're going to hear nutty shit. 1.00

02:04:09.000 In one episode, he had to lube up a gun, and Lewis had to shove it up Jay's ass. 1.00

02:04:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:04:13.000 Right there in front of everybody. 0.99

02:04:15.000 Imagine just a random coming in for a comedy show, and you're like, what the fuck's going on? 0.96

02:04:19.000 My daughter, when she turned 19, she was almost like, can I come? 0.97

02:04:25.000 Oh, my God.

02:04:28.000 Well, she's my daughter.

02:04:29.000 Yeah.

02:04:29.000 And so for the most part, I'm like, she gets with this comedy.

02:04:32.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:04:33.000 And I was like, it's not so much the material that we're talking about that's gonna get me.

02:04:38.000 Now, what happened with Lewis and Dave, which I fully understand too, they were coming to me a couple times and they were like, hey, you gotta stop letting her come to the show.

02:04:47.000 I'm like, she's an adult, dude.

02:04:48.000 She wants to come.

02:04:49.000 I'm almost like, you guys kinda have to get used to the idea that she's an adult.

02:04:53.000 And then what they said made me, they were like, yeah, but dude, we're seeing like that four-year-old little girl over there that we've known since she was a kid, you know?

02:05:02.000 Right.

02:05:03.000 And he's like, it's going to make me not tell a story that I want to tell.

02:05:08.000 For sure.

02:05:08.000 Because she's there.

02:05:09.000 And I go...

02:05:10.000 Fair enough.

02:05:11.000 And then as a little...

02:05:12.000 Do you remember this?

02:05:13.000 As a little...

02:05:13.000 Yeah, she wished she could come.

02:05:15.000 But as a little cherry on top that made it easier to explain to her that we're going to take a break from her coming for a while, was that night. 1.00

02:05:22.000 Out of nowhere, Byron, who ended up becoming the intern from the intern contest, sucked his own dick on stage. 0.99

02:05:29.000 And looking over at my 19-year-old daughter like this, like, I was like, oh, all right, point taking, guys. 1.00

02:05:34.000 I'll keep her out of here.

02:05:36.000 Jesus Christ.

02:05:39.000 On stage?

02:05:41.000 On stage.

02:05:42.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:05:43.000 By the way, he sucked. 0.99

02:05:45.000 Is that legal? 1.00

02:05:46.000 This is going to press you more.

02:05:47.000 That might get you in trouble.

02:05:49.000 No, they put a curtain up eventually.

02:05:52.000 Legitimately.

02:05:53.000 On stage, anything goes.

02:05:55.000 I don't think so.

02:05:57.000 Performance art.

02:05:57.000 Yeah, I think it's something like that.

02:05:59.000 It depends on where this is.

02:06:01.000 Yeah.

02:06:02.000 You might have just admitted to a crime.

02:06:03.000 It was in his mouth.

02:06:04.000 I understand that.

02:06:06.000 Like, legitimately, this might be a crime.

02:06:09.000 Are you allowed to blow yourself in front of people?

02:06:11.000 Let's find out. 1.00

02:06:11.000 I feel like it's the same as masturbation. 1.00

02:06:13.000 Do you think it'd be worse than that? 0.91

02:06:15.000 Crime-wise?

02:06:15.000 Punishment-wise?

02:06:16.000 I don't know, because it's so weird.

02:06:17.000 Well, here's the crazy thing. 1.00

02:06:18.000 He sucked his own dick while it was soft. 1.00

02:06:21.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:06:22.000 That's impressive.

02:06:23.000 That's insane.

02:06:24.000 Do you dangle it into his head or do you come down on it? 0.84

02:06:26.000 It's funny.

02:06:27.000 I said to Louis, I wonder if you had any opinions or thoughts on Gigi Allen, which is a very similar stage show of just insanity. 0.98

02:06:34.000 Yeah, shitting on people and stuff.

02:06:36.000 I've been watching these documentaries on him lately, or these little short films people have made. 0.99

02:06:43.000 It's funny what I thought was cool when I was younger, as an older performer, You have the picture out there of Jim Morrison, his mugshot and stuff.

02:06:54.000 When I watched The Doors when I was younger, I thought it was the coolest thing because his defiance and his...

02:07:01.000 He might not even show up.

02:07:03.000 And the piano player's got to sing all the songs because he's drunk with Jefferson Airplane somewhere.

02:07:09.000 And as an adult performer, you're like, hey Jerichoff, show up and do your show.

02:07:12.000 You know what I mean?

02:07:13.000 There's an audience waiting.

02:07:14.000 Yeah.

02:07:15.000 Yeah. 0.89

02:07:15.000 Like, there's a coolness to it, but like, same thing, Gigi Allen, like, I get you want to put on a big show, but I don't know if chucking shit at the people in the audience is like the way to handle it. 0.89

02:07:25.000 But meanwhile, some people are like, bro, I got pelted with Gigi shit! 1.00

02:07:29.000 Fuck yes! 1.00

02:07:31.000 They probably smeared it on their friend, fuck yes! 1.00

02:07:33.000 You did it! 1.00

02:07:35.000 Pink eye forever.

02:07:36.000 Well, they always tell you, all the documentaries go, well, there was Kevin, and Kevin was a sweetheart.

02:07:41.000 You're like, that was like a character because he's lost in it.

02:07:45.000 I mean, he was.

02:07:46.000 That was a character? 1.00

02:07:47.000 Just a piece of shit was his character. 1.00

02:07:50.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:07:50.000 I mean, a deplorable piece of shit. 1.00

02:07:53.000 But that's the thing, he would always be like, my mother didn't give a shit about me. 1.00

02:07:57.000 The man shot himself on stage and smeared it on his face in the name of punk. 1.00

02:08:01.000 How do you even shit yourself on standing? 0.99

02:08:04.000 No, buddy, there's videos of this. 0.99

02:08:05.000 He goes into the audience, and what's funny is they love him.

02:08:11.000 Look at that picture.

02:08:12.000 Look at his tattoo.

02:08:13.000 What does it say? 1.00

02:08:14.000 Life sucks, scumfuck. 1.00

02:08:15.000 Life sucks, scumfuck. 1.00

02:08:18.000 Smearing shit on your face. 1.00

02:08:20.000 And then the other side says fuck something. 1.00

02:08:22.000 Fuck something. 1.00

02:08:23.000 Bro, I don't. 1.00

02:08:24.000 It says fuck you. 1.00

02:08:25.000 That is not totally a character. 1.00

02:08:28.000 No, that's what I'm saying.

02:08:29.000 You can't get into that. 1.00

02:08:30.000 But what's funny is they talk to his mom and stuff, because his story's always like, you know, my mom, the parents didn't give a shit about me, and my dad was this, and fuck you, that's why I'm angry. 0.99

02:08:40.000 And his mom's like... 0.99

02:08:41.000 Just shows pictures of him and his brother, they were both in the band, as kids, just on horses.

02:08:48.000 They were fine like a bunch of Massachusetts kids.

02:08:51.000 And what happened?

02:08:53.000 He started getting attention to...

02:08:54.000 Drugs, probably, is the ultimate answer.

02:08:56.000 He probably got into drugs and was just, like, started getting...

02:08:58.000 But I mean, like...

02:08:59.000 You peeing again?

02:09:00.000 No, I'm gonna get the coffee.

02:09:02.000 Unfixable or...

02:09:03.000 Like, unrelenting.

02:09:05.000 Like, terrible.

02:09:06.000 Like, all this stuff he's in trouble for.

02:09:07.000 Like, beating up a woman publicly.

02:09:10.000 Like, at NYU, he does that.

02:09:11.000 There's video of that.

02:09:12.000 Of him just, like, taking a chick and, like, throwing her around the room and, like...

02:09:16.000 Just some random girl in the audience? 0.98

02:09:17.000 No, I think a girl was, like, you know, challenging his...

02:09:21.000 Because I guess he kept saying he was going to kill himself on stage.

02:09:25.000 Oh, God.

02:09:26.000 But he moved the date a lot.

02:09:29.000 He'd kick the can down the road.

02:09:31.000 That year would go by.

02:09:32.000 He'd be like, Halloween of next year, I'm going to blow my stuff. 0.55

02:09:36.000 I'm going to commit suicide and take as many as I can with me.

02:09:39.000 Young Shepard Smith covering it live. 0.99

02:09:41.000 Look at Shepard Smith. 0.63

02:09:42.000 Look how cute he was.

02:09:57.000 Ha, ha, ha! 0.99

02:10:06.000 My guy looks down like that was good.

02:10:08.000 I'll also give you a...

02:10:10.000 I'll give him credit, G.G. Allen, too, because he has a tiny, tiny pecker, and he walks around with a...

02:10:18.000 I mean, real small.

02:10:19.000 He never presented it well. 1.00

02:10:21.000 Damn. 0.99

02:10:21.000 He was actually off the stage. 0.99

02:10:23.000 He was right down here off the stage. 1.00

02:10:24.000 Isn't it amazing that that would be the number one concern, the size of his dick? 1.00

02:10:28.000 This guy's shitting in his hand and smearing it in his face on the stage. 1.00

02:10:33.000 And we're like, yeah. 0.99

02:10:35.000 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

02:10:36.000 Boy, the courage to stand in front of people with that dick. 1.00

02:10:38.000 Imagine being the smell in that place. 1.00

02:10:40.000 Oh, God.

02:10:40.000 You know, a lot of people say speaking publicly is people's biggest fear.

02:10:44.000 I'd say shitting publicly. 0.99

02:10:46.000 And then smearing it on your face. 1.00

02:10:49.000 His drummer always played naked too.

02:10:53.000 Shepard Smith!

02:10:54.000 He was a space case.

02:10:56.000 Orlando, he's live from Orlando.

02:10:57.000 He's gotta love this story. 0.99

02:10:59.000 Goddamn, that's funny. 0.99

02:11:00.000 But Ari, the one that I saw, he goes into the audience and I said it's funny when they all are there for him, but they don't want to get the gross shit on him. 0.99

02:11:07.000 So as soon as he approaches, jumps down the audience, they see they make these circles around him to give him space. 0.97

02:11:13.000 And then he like...

02:11:14.000 He turns around, bends over, and just rips a couple logs.

02:11:18.000 Bends down, starts picking it up in his mouth.

02:11:21.000 Oh, my God!

02:11:22.000 This is insane!

02:11:24.000 Oh, Jesus Christ! 1.00

02:11:26.000 He shit in his hand and threw it into the audience. 1.00

02:11:28.000 He rubs it all over his chest. 1.00

02:11:29.000 That's not the worst.

02:11:30.000 Dude, his face!

02:11:30.000 Bro, this is so bad!

02:11:32.000 And then he runs into the audience, and you see the audience, like, they're like, but they're still trying to watch, but they're, like, in the hallways and stuff.

02:11:37.000 Is there...

02:11:38.000 Oh, my God.

02:11:39.000 Just stop, stop, stop, stop.

02:11:40.000 There's no music going.

02:11:41.000 Oh, my God.

02:11:44.000 Boomerang that.

02:11:45.000 I'm going to throw up.

02:11:47.000 Oh my god.

02:11:48.000 In pictures it's bad.

02:11:50.000 The smell will be around you. 1.00

02:11:53.000 Imagine getting hit in the face with Gigi's shit. 1.00

02:11:56.000 And you're already sweating. 1.00

02:11:57.000 And you didn't know. 1.00

02:11:58.000 Maybe my shit himself is definitely going to throw it up. 1.00

02:12:01.000 Only the Farrah Abraham shit video is the more impressive shit video. 1.00

02:12:06.000 What's that? 1.00

02:12:06.000 The teen mom lady who just is so, like, wrapped in the... 1.00

02:12:10.000 You know who she is, right?

02:12:11.000 Farrah Abraham.

02:12:11.000 She was, like, an MTV teen mom girl.

02:12:14.000 She was, like, the first one that was, like, famous from that.

02:12:16.000 Yeah.

02:12:16.000 And just turned into...

02:12:17.000 She did some porn scenes. 0.99

02:12:18.000 She has, like, OnlyFans now.

02:12:19.000 But she's known for being... 1.00

02:12:21.000 A mother, she put a video out.

02:12:24.000 I guess someone just leaked it, but it was her doing an OnlyFans thing or something. 0.99

02:12:28.000 And it's her just turning around with her completely plastic body and ripping off two foot of uncut shit straight to... 1.00

02:12:38.000 It's not pornographic. 0.99

02:12:40.000 It's like an oddly satisfying video. 0.99

02:12:43.000 You ever see those where it's like when they cut the perfect things off and shit? 0.97

02:12:47.000 You're like... 0.97

02:12:48.000 When it's done, you go, you feel like, where was that in you?

02:12:54.000 Isn't it funny?

02:12:55.000 There's all these oddly satisfying videos of people making soap.

02:13:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:13:01.000 This is a girl.

02:13:01.000 I mean, everything she ate came out for sure.

02:13:08.000 Do you think if someone knows they're going to do that, they hold it in as long as they can?

02:13:12.000 To get it longer and longer.

02:13:14.000 To just really make sure you're getting the full package out in one shipment. 0.99

02:13:17.000 I don't know if you could plan for an unbroken two foot of shit. 0.99

02:13:20.000 Some people do it regularly. 0.99

02:13:22.000 I don't think you can plan for it, but you probably increase your odds if you can just plug it in.

02:13:27.000 Just hold it in.

02:13:28.000 Tighten it.

02:13:28.000 Make it more like a sausage.

02:13:30.000 They say if you drink celery juice, your jizz will be thick and shoot far, but maybe it won't.

02:13:35.000 How would you know?

02:13:36.000 I think I found it.

02:13:37.000 What?

02:13:37.000 Jamie found what?

02:13:38.000 Jizz?

02:13:38.000 Celery juice?

02:13:39.000 Oh, the video of her shitting? 1.00

02:13:40.000 For sure you found it. 1.00

02:13:41.000 Oh my God.

02:13:42.000 Don't show me.

02:13:43.000 Okay, show me.

02:13:44.000 Okay, show me.

02:13:45.000 I can walk you through this.

02:13:46.000 It's pretty good.

02:13:47.000 She's pretty. 0.99

02:13:48.000 Start from the beginning.

02:13:49.000 She's so hot. 0.97

02:13:51.000 Yeah, you can play it from there. 1.00

02:13:52.000 Now what you're going to see first, Joe, is when he turns around, there's a cork of shit that was probably blocking the path. 0.99

02:13:59.000 That comes out first. 0.99

02:14:00.000 That just fires right out.

02:14:02.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

02:14:02.000 How much do you think you have to pay to get someone to poop in front of the camera?

02:14:06.000 This is TikTok?

02:14:07.000 This is not TikTok, no.

02:14:09.000 So there's the cork.

02:14:14.000 Easily 12 inches.

02:14:16.000 What?

02:14:17.000 Two full feet.

02:14:19.000 Oh my god, it's more than two feet, bro.

02:14:22.000 He's coming.

02:14:23.000 Stop.

02:14:24.000 That's enough.

02:14:25.000 That was all of it.

02:14:26.000 That's enough.

02:14:26.000 Imagine wanting someone to do that.

02:14:29.000 I want you to shit for me. 1.00

02:14:31.000 I don't know how I felt. 1.00

02:14:32.000 I have to assume it's control more than sexual. 0.95

02:14:35.000 You naughty girl. 0.99

02:14:36.000 Shit for me. 1.00

02:14:37.000 It's gotta be control over sexual. 1.00

02:14:39.000 Yeah, but I think maybe it's a naughty thing.

02:14:42.000 It's so naughty. 1.00

02:14:43.000 Shit is so wrong. 1.00

02:14:44.000 It's funny, I can watch that and laugh at it and I don't get that disturbed by it. 0.99

02:14:49.000 No chance would I watch that in person.

02:14:52.000 I'd be like, no, no, no, no.

02:14:53.000 It's too many senses involved.

02:14:55.000 It's also a thing that's built into us to avoid Plagues and disease.

02:15:00.000 You're supposed to get away from it.

02:15:01.000 You shouldn't get away from that.

02:15:04.000 That's diseases.

02:15:04.000 You have to wipe your hands.

02:15:05.000 Isn't that crazy? 0.83

02:15:06.000 The stuff that comes out of your body will kill people.

02:15:08.000 That's how toxic it is.

02:15:09.000 The stuff that comes out of your body gets in water and then someone drinks that water, people are dead.

02:15:14.000 She was selling $5,000. 0.98

02:15:15.000 $5,000 for stinky poop that comes out of me. 0.99

02:15:18.000 Oh, wow. 0.99

02:15:19.000 People were offering her $5,000 for poop.

02:15:22.000 She's going to keep doing that. 1.00

02:15:24.000 I was just like, I don't even think that that could go in the mail.

02:15:30.000 I was in question whether or not it was really a joke, reminding her that she went to sell her poop slime on her Sophia's website. 0.82

02:15:37.000 What is that?

02:15:37.000 On her and Sophia's website.

02:15:41.000 Looks like she was selling it.

02:15:43.000 What a great, I mean, recycling situation.

02:15:46.000 I think that's really dangerous.

02:15:48.000 This seems like it's almost a joke.

02:15:50.000 That's fake.

02:15:51.000 Yeah, that's fake.

02:15:51.000 Who was Farrah Abraham?

02:15:52.000 Where do I know her name from?

02:15:55.000 She was at David Tell's Underground.

02:15:57.000 She was one of the audience celebrities.

02:15:59.000 Oh, really?

02:16:01.000 I think she tried to do comedy for a second, as often will happen.

02:16:04.000 Didn't Stormy Daniels try to do comedy? 1.00

02:16:06.000 Absolutely.

02:16:07.000 I think so.

02:16:07.000 It's everyone's fallback plan.

02:16:09.000 It's the lowest level of anything else.

02:16:11.000 Isn't that nice?

02:16:12.000 More of respect.

02:16:13.000 It's the lowest level of respect.

02:16:14.000 They're like, I can fall back.

02:16:16.000 Isn't that better for us, though?

02:16:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:16:18.000 A porn star can just do it. 1.00

02:16:20.000 Tom Brady can just do it. 0.96

02:16:21.000 Comedy tour soon.

02:16:21.000 Fair Abraham.

02:16:22.000 Please tell me there's a video of her doing comedy. 0.67

02:16:24.000 Please.

02:16:26.000 Don't show it.

02:16:29.000 We will have to be honest.

02:16:31.000 So don't show it.

02:16:32.000 Don't show it, Jamie.

02:16:33.000 I'm out.

02:16:35.000 Because I can save for myself, though.

02:16:37.000 Well, I mean, I just...

02:16:39.000 If you had a video of you pooping, you would imagine, like, man, this has got to be worth a lot of money.

02:16:44.000 I can't just poop for $5,000.

02:16:46.000 I'll tell you what, there's a...

02:16:48.000 What a moneymaker. 1.00

02:16:49.000 A high level...

02:16:49.000 We're going through a recession.

02:16:51.000 A high level, like, well-known porn star...

02:16:54.000 Poop merchants? 1.00

02:16:55.000 ...who I know when we were interviewing her during...

02:16:57.000 Maybe these were quarantine numbers?

02:16:59.000 But during the quarantine, we interviewed her over Zoom.

02:17:03.000 And she was saying that she's doing a lot of OnlyFans, like private one-on-one stuff now, because we're not filming movies or anything right now.

02:17:09.000 And I was like, really? 0.98

02:17:10.000 I go, has anyone asked you to shit on camera? 0.99

02:17:14.000 She goes... 0.99

02:17:15.000 She goes, no, not really.

02:17:17.000 She goes, but I mean, that would be like, she's like, that would be a lot.

02:17:21.000 I was like, really?

02:17:22.000 I go, how much? 1.00

02:17:23.000 She goes, I mean, like shit, like that'd be like 500 bucks at least. 0.99

02:17:29.000 I'm like, yeah. 1.00

02:17:31.000 I was almost like, go ahead, do it.

02:17:32.000 I'll Venmo you right now.

02:17:34.000 No way that's possible.

02:17:36.000 500 bucks.

02:17:37.000 You gotta do it anyway.

02:17:38.000 It's just where you're doing it.

02:17:40.000 It's a buyer's market.

02:17:41.000 Yeah.

02:17:41.000 I like your scene.

02:17:42.000 You're gonna shit. 1.00

02:17:43.000 You're gonna flush it for zero dollars? 1.00

02:17:45.000 I have a question.

02:17:47.000 If you went on to OnlyFans, can you just find people to follow?

02:17:52.000 Or do people find people from their Instagram?

02:17:55.000 Oh, do they suggest people to you?

02:17:58.000 Yeah, how does someone, because you can't search people, right?

02:18:02.000 I think you can.

02:18:02.000 You can search people?

02:18:03.000 Yeah, but I think finding people on OnlyFans would not be the allure to me.

02:18:09.000 The allure would be to find them in the wild, and then you find out, like, oh, you can see this person naked.

02:18:16.000 For sure, but you've got to think, a lot of these fitness girls that have huge OnlyFans followings, right? 1.00

02:18:23.000 Most of those guys, they find out about them somehow.

02:18:26.000 Is there a message portal there to tell each other?

02:18:28.000 Are they finding out about them on Instagram?

02:18:31.000 Is it a Facebook thing?

02:18:33.000 It's social media.

02:18:34.000 It's all social media, I think.

02:18:35.000 Join me on Instagram.

02:18:36.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:18:37.000 If a girl's got a great body, all she has to do is work out. 1.00

02:18:40.000 Just work out on camera and do different stuff every day and you'll get millions of followers.

02:18:46.000 Millions and millions of followers.

02:18:48.000 Look hot, do squats.

02:18:49.000 A very fun thing we do is to look at hot girl Instagrams and just look at the comments under any picture.

02:18:57.000 It's like the guys who just...

02:18:58.000 You're awesome.

02:18:59.000 But not just you're awesome, it's like they call her baby and stuff.

02:19:02.000 Oh, baby, glad to see you're wearing that red bathing suit again. 0.95

02:19:07.000 No idea that's creepy.

02:19:09.000 So sad. 1.00

02:19:09.000 Those girls live in a life of like having the watch over their shoulder for like fucking lunatics. 1.00

02:19:15.000 You're constantly photographing where you're at, and they all think they're in with you. 1.00

02:19:20.000 They think they kind of know you.

02:19:21.000 I think this is the pipeline that started up.

02:19:23.000 Yeah, because they call them that.

02:19:24.000 They're like, hey babies, like, you know.

02:19:27.000 On Twitch, yeah, it's not only fans, and it's not what cam girls do, but they hang out and Pools and hot tubs. 1.00

02:19:35.000 Oh yeah, we talked about this before.

02:19:37.000 And that gets them onto their OnlyFans or whatever else.

02:19:41.000 Do you know the podcast porn thing on OnlyFans? 0.95

02:19:44.000 A couple does a podcast with another girl, and then they fuck on OnlyFans right afterwards. 0.67

02:19:50.000 We lost podcast of the year at the AVNs to that. 0.93

02:19:54.000 Oh really? 1.00

02:19:54.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:19:55.000 It's the Adam-22. 1.00

02:19:56.000 That's a hilarious idea.

02:19:57.000 If you're gonna make porn, that's a good idea.

02:20:00.000 That's the Adam-22 guy. 1.00

02:20:01.000 The whole fucking thing is so interesting. 0.99

02:20:05.000 People are very against it, but they can't say why. 0.99

02:20:08.000 They just feel like this is bad for society or something. 0.82

02:20:11.000 I'm thoroughly hypocritical on it. 0.93

02:20:12.000 The SDR show that I do interviews them a lot, porn stars, and they come on to do that old squirting contest kind of thing. 0.96

02:20:23.000 Right. 1.00

02:20:24.000 Especially if I become friendly with them at all, in any kind of way, right away you're like, damn man, it's a fucking dark world. 1.00

02:20:33.000 I don't see where it's not dark in some way. 0.99

02:20:38.000 Everyone who's out of it at some point has some I guess any job, but you know, it's like this guy is a monster of a person, so I'll never be in a room with them. 1.00

02:20:45.000 You know, that kind of shit. 1.00

02:20:47.000 You're like, damn, man. 1.00

02:20:48.000 It never seems to end. 1.00

02:20:50.000 Yeah, but like in a regular job, a bad boss just like yells you in front of everybody.

02:20:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:20:54.000 I hate that guy. 1.00

02:20:55.000 This one's like fucking you. 1.00

02:20:57.000 Ew, Jesus. 1.00

02:20:58.000 But the whole world's like, he's fucking you. 1.00

02:21:00.000 A bunch of the girls are probably showing up on drugs. 1.00

02:21:02.000 There's so many like things happening.

02:21:04.000 Yeah.

02:21:04.000 Do you know what I mean?

02:21:04.000 Like, uh...

02:21:06.000 Probably and like the higher level of professionalism probably from the girl like The more like like the less kind of sexy you know I mean like they're look when this person comes in goes, okay Where do I sign this guy's fucking me? 0.98

02:21:18.000 Okay, let's go be hard, please I Think girls instinctually from hearing stories and everything Don't fully understand, 0.99

02:21:33.000 like, sometimes how a guy's, like, how a boner works.

02:21:37.000 Because a girl getting upset that you're not getting hard fast enough, or you weren't somehow hard the second they, like, pulled a titty out or something... 0.97

02:21:47.000 When it's like, what's wrong?

02:21:49.000 As soon as you do that, like, it's never happening.

02:21:52.000 Nothing's more than that.

02:21:52.000 All I'm doing is staring at it going, like, she's so let down.

02:21:54.000 She wants to, you know... 0.98

02:21:55.000 Nothing's more counterproductive to what they're trying to get done.

02:21:58.000 It's like...

02:21:59.000 No attempt at doing it, like, especially when it comes out of, like, the last sexy try.

02:22:03.000 Yeah.

02:22:03.000 Like, do you like this?

02:22:04.000 Do you want me to do this?

02:22:05.000 Oh, no.

02:22:05.000 And you go, that's good.

02:22:06.000 And then they go, you like that?

02:22:07.000 He goes, well, then what's happening?

02:22:09.000 Oh, no.

02:22:10.000 And you're like...

02:22:10.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:12.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:13.000 Don't say that.

02:22:14.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:15.000 You don't like this?

02:22:15.000 What's going on?

02:22:16.000 He's like, You might as well, everyone just put your socks back on.

02:22:20.000 We're going home.

02:22:20.000 It's over.

02:22:22.000 So aggressive.

02:22:23.000 Find yourself a cab.

02:22:24.000 I live here.

02:22:26.000 Show yourself out, please.

02:22:28.000 Imagine wanting, like, a very specific reaction from a girl like that. 1.00

02:22:32.000 Like, imagine if a girl's a tractor, her tits poke out. 1.00

02:22:37.000 Wouldn't that be wild? 1.00

02:22:38.000 It's kind of a crazed thing with men.

02:22:42.000 It's kind of crazy.

02:22:43.000 We grow.

02:22:44.000 Yeah.

02:22:45.000 You can see.

02:22:47.000 Well, they have a reaction too, but you can't just go like, hey, miss, I'm just checking to see if you like me.

02:22:51.000 Just go to the front of her pants and be like, dry as a biscuit, sorry. 1.00

02:22:55.000 Misread that. 1.00

02:22:56.000 It's wild that that needs to happen in order to have sex and make babies.

02:22:59.000 It's wild that that thing needs to change.

02:23:03.000 Because some animals have a bone there.

02:23:05.000 You can just go anytime. 0.99

02:23:07.000 Yeah, like, deers have a penis bone. 0.97

02:23:09.000 Like, a lot of animals have bones. 1.00

02:23:11.000 Yeah, is there ever in the wild fucking where they can't get it up? 0.99

02:23:13.000 I don't think so. 0.99

02:23:14.000 I don't think they can survive that way.

02:23:16.000 So I think they're hard all the time.

02:23:17.000 They just poke it out.

02:23:19.000 Or when it's necessary, when it's needed.

02:23:20.000 I don't think it's like...

02:23:22.000 I don't think a horse looks at a mare and is like...

02:23:25.000 Well, they definitely get horny when the other ones are in heat. 1.00

02:23:29.000 But the thing is that they can hit it so quick because they have a bone.

02:23:33.000 Yeah.

02:23:34.000 They just pound in there and go...

02:23:36.000 Yeah.

02:23:36.000 You ever seen...

02:23:36.000 Steve Rinella gave me one to stir coffee with.

02:23:39.000 It's like a little... 0.76

02:23:39.000 Dick bone? 0.76

02:23:40.000 Dick bone. 0.99

02:23:41.000 Yeah.

02:23:41.000 You have fun friends.

02:23:42.000 Different animals. 0.98

02:23:47.000 How many different animals have dick bones? 0.94

02:23:49.000 Ari got me a record player once. 0.96

02:23:50.000 We had that walrus one.

02:23:51.000 Yeah, we had a walrus one.

02:23:53.000 We still have that. 0.62

02:23:54.000 We have a giant walrus dick bone.

02:23:56.000 Oh, it's curved, too. 0.96

02:23:58.000 It couldn't even go in straight.

02:24:01.000 Swims in ya. 1.00

02:24:02.000 That's a hard-ass thing too, man.

02:24:04.000 That's a heavy thing. 1.00

02:24:06.000 That's how walruses fuck. 1.00

02:24:07.000 I'm so happy that chick is holding it. 1.00

02:24:09.000 Look at that.

02:24:09.000 She's super shiny.

02:24:11.000 But imagine that.

02:24:12.000 They have a giant bone. 0.71

02:24:15.000 That really does look like a double-sided dildo. 1.00

02:24:17.000 You ever seen a whale's dick? 1.00

02:24:19.000 Well, it's carved. 1.00

02:24:20.000 Whale's dicks are preposterous. 0.98

02:24:22.000 It's like as big as his room. 1.00

02:24:23.000 Really?

02:24:24.000 Oh my god. 0.99

02:24:24.000 Have you ever seen a whale's dick? 0.99

02:24:26.000 I didn't realize that's hilarious. 0.98

02:24:26.000 Wait, the walrus bone is used for doing what? 0.98

02:24:29.000 It's like clubbing something? 1.00

02:24:30.000 No, getting that dick in there, son. 1.00

02:24:32.000 This one is like, penis-shaped. 1.00

02:24:34.000 They use it as a club? 0.99

02:24:37.000 Is that what it says?

02:24:38.000 Baculum. 0.97

02:24:38.000 Yeah, baculum is what the penis bone is. 0.97

02:24:41.000 That's the technical name. 1.00

02:24:44.000 That's gotta be weird when you're in your second coat of shellac on your walrus dick, walrus dick club. 1.00

02:24:50.000 How nuts is that? 1.00

02:24:51.000 They have a bone in their body.

02:24:54.000 But if you think about it, like if you gotta mate quick, Predators are after you.

02:24:59.000 You can't just...

02:24:59.000 You've heard of a walrus?

02:25:00.000 Like, your odds of escaping sharks suck already.

02:25:05.000 That's a whale, dude? 1.00

02:25:06.000 Blue whale penis. 0.99

02:25:07.000 What? 1.00

02:25:07.000 It's so long! 1.00

02:25:09.000 It's so hairy!

02:25:10.000 Because it's hairy.

02:25:11.000 Deal with it.

02:25:11.000 It's got a violin end.

02:25:13.000 I would imagine that- Where is it on their body where they can mount somebody?

02:25:17.000 That's a good question.

02:25:18.000 I think they probably have to go under.

02:25:20.000 And like bang it from underneath.

02:25:23.000 It's gotta be from behind.

02:25:24.000 Yeah, they have to go underneath.

02:25:25.000 They have to go like, I would imagine they'd have to go like this.

02:25:28.000 Like, here's the girl, and the male- Upside out or something?

02:25:33.000 And goes like that. 1.00

02:25:35.000 God, there's a video of whales fucking. 1.00

02:25:36.000 Gets under her and they match it. 1.00

02:25:38.000 And just like smash it up.

02:25:38.000 And it slides in there for a little bit.

02:25:41.000 I think we ought to have seen a picture of an upside down whale fucking. 0.99

02:25:45.000 I've never seen that. 1.00

02:25:46.000 I've seen whales, they can go in the water and do all kinds of crazy shit. 0.97

02:25:49.000 Is it coming from behind like a refueling a jet? 0.99

02:25:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:25:53.000 I would say.

02:25:54.000 Underneath and upside down.

02:25:55.000 Underneath.

02:25:57.000 Do you...

02:25:57.000 Yeah.

02:25:58.000 There must be video.

02:25:59.000 Maybe they know to both go down in the water and they do it together.

02:26:02.000 Is it spreading semen in the water and it just swims through it?

02:26:04.000 No, no, no.

02:26:04.000 That's how fish do it.

02:26:05.000 These are mammals.

02:26:06.000 So mammals have to breed and they give birth to the young, whereas fish just jizz eggs.

02:26:12.000 Don't worry, Ari.

02:26:12.000 These whales are all about the cream pie.

02:26:16.000 They're naturally cream pie animals.

02:26:18.000 Yeah.

02:26:19.000 Oh, that's what they do.

02:26:20.000 Upside down.

02:26:21.000 You're right.

02:26:21.000 Okay.

02:26:22.000 Wow.

02:26:22.000 Look at that.

02:26:24.000 That's it.

02:26:25.000 And she flips over, and he's got to keep her in spot.

02:26:28.000 Oh, it's a scramble, because they're both real horny, and they can't stay in position because they don't have arms.

02:26:34.000 Because they don't have arms, yeah.

02:26:35.000 Wow, there he goes.

02:26:36.000 Oh, it's it.

02:26:37.000 It's it.

02:26:38.000 Cha-pow! 1.00

02:26:39.000 Oh, he's hitting it from the side.

02:26:42.000 I pictured missionary. 1.00

02:26:43.000 Look at his giant whale dick. 1.00

02:26:44.000 Oh, now they're married. 1.00

02:26:46.000 There you go.

02:26:47.000 Now they have babies.

02:26:48.000 Now they're the happy couple. 1.00

02:26:50.000 It's wild how smart those fucking things are. 1.00

02:26:52.000 Those things are smart as shit. 1.00

02:26:54.000 You ever see them save a walrus that they were fucking with? 1.00

02:26:57.000 When they train their kids? 0.98

02:26:58.000 Yeah, they'll save it if they don't really want to eat it.

02:27:00.000 If one's not fully dead, put it back.

02:27:01.000 Yeah, if they don't want to eat it.

02:27:03.000 They know how to use ice shelves.

02:27:06.000 So one of them will get up to an ice shelf and they'll tip it so that the thing slides to them.

02:27:13.000 So they get their massive body and they're just sliding towards death.

02:27:21.000 They're super intelligent.

02:27:23.000 I went whale watching once in South Africa and then you pay all this money and no whales.

02:27:31.000 They don't give you your money back.

02:27:36.000 Sorry man, no whale.

02:27:38.000 If you want to see whales, Hawaii is a great place to see them.

02:27:41.000 You'll always see them there.

02:27:43.000 Whenever the time is that they're there for breeding or whatever it is, why they're there, there's parts of the year.

02:27:48.000 I think it's around November, if I remember correct, but I'm not sure if I do.

02:27:54.000 I've been there a few times before I've seen them.

02:27:55.000 It's amazing.

02:27:57.000 You see them in the water splashing, you can take a boat towards them.

02:28:01.000 When I was in South Africa, we went to Seal Island, which is that only place where the sharks breach.

02:28:05.000 To like jump and grab the seals.

02:28:07.000 That was pretty wild.

02:28:08.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:28:08.000 I haven't seen that.

02:28:09.000 It's pretty wild.

02:28:10.000 Jimmy?

02:28:11.000 Yeah, it's the only place where they, because the seals are all up on like this kind of barge almost, and they just jump out and grab them.

02:28:18.000 I love when they slide right at them.

02:28:19.000 The only place in the world where they breach the sharks.

02:28:20.000 I didn't even know sharks go to Alaska.

02:28:22.000 Not Alaska.

02:28:23.000 That was South Africa. 0.74

02:28:24.000 Oh, South Africa.

02:28:26.000 I thought it was Alaska.

02:28:27.000 That's how good this weight is.

02:28:30.000 How close did it legalizing here?

02:28:33.000 Sigh.

02:28:34.000 Um, I don't know.

02:28:36.000 Someone told me yesterday that under something like... 1.00

02:28:38.000 Look at these fucking monsters. 1.00

02:28:40.000 They're so scary. 1.00

02:28:42.000 Just beating it around.

02:28:44.000 I mean, what is scarier than sharks?

02:28:46.000 Just smashing things with their teeth.

02:28:50.000 Those guys fishing recently, and they had their fish right at the, I think it was a giant tuna, right at the edge of the boat, and that great white just comes and steals it right at the last episode.

02:28:58.000 No, I haven't seen that.

02:29:00.000 Next, please. 0.99

02:29:00.000 They had to go just jump backwards like, what the fuck. 0.99

02:29:03.000 Motherfucker, dude. 1.00

02:29:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:29:04.000 Those things are so goddamn terrifying. 1.00

02:29:06.000 What a perfect eating machine. 0.97

02:29:08.000 Rows of teeth.

02:29:09.000 If one falls out, they get another one. 1.00

02:29:18.000 Holy fuck, dude. 1.00

02:29:20.000 Right there. 1.00

02:29:20.000 My mother... 1.00

02:29:21.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

02:29:22.000 Right there. 1.00

02:29:24.000 Wow.

02:29:24.000 Look, this is amazing.

02:29:25.000 He could have fallen over.

02:29:26.000 He could have gotten dragged in.

02:29:27.000 Yeah, right here, they had no idea.

02:29:28.000 Yeah.

02:29:29.000 This is amazing.

02:29:30.000 Now they know.

02:29:31.000 And he's like...

02:29:32.000 Jesus Christ, that's a big one too, man.

02:29:36.000 My mom, when I was younger, her and one of her friends, like girlfriends, went to the Bahamas to go be young girls, I guess.

02:29:45.000 And I went to go stay with family in Florida.

02:29:48.000 And that night, we went to go see, in the theater, Jaws 4. And my mom told me that day, she was like, you know, this is like no cell phones or anything.

02:29:56.000 It's like house phone.

02:29:57.000 You call once a day.

02:29:59.000 And my mom was like, oh, we're getting ready to go on a banana boat today and do whatever and it's going to be fun.

02:30:04.000 And then that night I went to go see Jaws 4 with my uncle and Jaws particularly.

02:30:07.000 I didn't know what a banana boat was when she said it.

02:30:09.000 But in that movie there's a scene with a banana boat and that's when he shows up to the Bahamas Jaws and eats everybody off of a banana boat.

02:30:17.000 And I just cried the rest of the night.

02:30:18.000 I was like, nine.

02:30:20.000 Oh my god, that's awful.

02:30:22.000 You couldn't get a horn.

02:30:23.000 Look how bad it looks!

02:30:25.000 Oh my god, those movies were so bad.

02:30:29.000 Once it got to Jaws 4, how nutty did it get?

02:30:34.000 Do you remember the storyline?

02:30:35.000 Well, you go from one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Jaws 1. And by the time you get to Jaws 3D, it's a disaster.

02:30:45.000 Jaws 2 was a stretch.

02:30:46.000 Jaws 2 was wacky.

02:30:48.000 He's just standing in place, the shark.

02:30:50.000 How many people were in Jaws 2?

02:30:52.000 How many of the original people?

02:30:53.000 You lost the captain because he died. 1.00

02:30:57.000 That guy was the shit. 1.00

02:30:58.000 Roy Schreider, the wife. 1.00

02:30:59.000 So, Roy and the wife are back for two.

02:31:01.000 It's like one of the younger guys, because he was like, something happened to me last year.

02:31:06.000 It's so crazy how a good movie like Roy Schreider in the first Jaws is amazing because it's a great movie.

02:31:13.000 That old man was the best.

02:31:15.000 But then by the time you get to the other Jaws, is he still amazing?

02:31:20.000 I might be wrong with this, but I think Jaws, the idea is he took everything from this family. 0.74

02:31:25.000 Does Roy Schreider die in part two?

02:31:29.000 Does he?

02:31:30.000 I don't know if he did.

02:31:31.000 They have two kids.

02:31:33.000 I think one dies in part two in the beginning in an attack.

02:31:36.000 And then the beginning of the revenge, the Bahamas one, I think it kills his other kid or bites his arm. 0.99

02:31:44.000 Imagine if sharks were like crows where they recognize people that suck. 0.99

02:31:49.000 Get rid of that one. 1.00

02:31:51.000 They target them.

02:31:52.000 Wow.

02:31:52.000 That's what crows do.

02:31:53.000 They see, like, you suck in general? 1.00

02:31:55.000 If you do something to crows, they'll fucking squawk when you come around. 0.99

02:31:59.000 Like, if someone, like, shot, like, a crow with a BB gun or something like that, and the crows saw it happen, And the person like was there with the crow. 0.97

02:32:05.000 That person will get like swooped on by other crows.

02:32:08.000 Like when they go out, the crows will like swoop on them and get in their face.

02:32:12.000 Vengeance? 1.00

02:32:12.000 Yeah, like trying to fuck with them. 1.00

02:32:14.000 You ever see the magpies swoop in... 1.00

02:32:15.000 Is this 2? 0.99

02:32:16.000 This is the end of 2 where they kill it with the power cable or some shit like that. 0.93

02:32:21.000 Get out, go to the water. 1.00

02:32:22.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

02:32:24.000 Come on, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:32:26.000 Oh, I thought this was the end of 1. Oh, that's right. 1.00

02:32:27.000 And it bites it and he throws the cable in its mouth.

02:32:30.000 Come on.

02:32:31.000 Come on. 1.00

02:32:32.000 Your dad's crazy. 1.00

02:32:33.000 Here it is. 0.99

02:32:35.000 Oh my god.

02:32:39.000 Dad!

02:32:42.000 He has to look over.

02:32:43.000 Come on.

02:32:45.000 You can hear that far.

02:32:51.000 I remember the way they show it.

02:32:54.000 Zip, zip, zip.

02:32:56.000 Oh my god, that's the worst special effects of all time. 1.00

02:32:59.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

02:33:01.000 That is so stupid. 1.00

02:33:02.000 And what a dumb strategy. 1.00

02:33:04.000 What if the shark dives under that rope? 1.00

02:33:07.000 What if it's not stupid? 1.00

02:33:09.000 When he comes up, his nose just knocks the thing out of your hands. 0.99

02:33:11.000 Did you ever see the ones where the guys are in the shark cage and the shark goes through the bottom of the shark cage?

02:33:17.000 Just destroys it.

02:33:18.000 It was real recent and almost got this guy's leg.

02:33:21.000 It's like literally goes through the bottom, snashing its teeth like inches from this guy's leg. 0.99

02:33:27.000 You're fucking with dinosaurs. 0.99

02:33:28.000 What are you doing? 0.99

02:33:29.000 Those things have been around for a hundred million years plus. 1.00

02:33:32.000 Those fucking things have been around forever. 1.00

02:33:34.000 They survived the dinosaurs. 1.00

02:33:36.000 They throw chum in the water to get them to swim around.

02:33:38.000 And then your legs could stick out of the bottom.

02:33:40.000 Bro, those things are crazy.

02:33:42.000 They're just feeding machines to swim.

02:33:44.000 They can't even stop.

02:33:45.000 They stop and die.

02:33:46.000 Guys like Steve-O and them put like...

02:33:48.000 They put like steak in their pants and then jump in. 0.89

02:33:51.000 Hook themselves by the chin.

02:33:52.000 Yeah, hook themselves by the chin and jump in and then accidentally like, remember that one?

02:33:55.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:33:56.000 He kicked him in the fucking face. 1.00

02:33:58.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:33:59.000 Look at this thing goes through the cage.

02:34:02.000 It's destroyed. 0.99

02:34:02.000 He's got to get the fuck out now. 0.99

02:34:04.000 Watch this again. 0.99

02:34:05.000 Because they put him in a plexigas glass cage for some reason.

02:34:08.000 This is so insane that they did this.

02:34:11.000 So insane.

02:34:12.000 And look at that thing. 0.98

02:34:13.000 So watch how it comes through the bottom.

02:34:14.000 Watch this.

02:34:15.000 He thinks he's got something.

02:34:17.000 Wow.

02:34:17.000 Jesus.

02:34:18.000 It was going for him, man.

02:34:19.000 Yeah.

02:34:20.000 It was going for him.

02:34:21.000 It shattered it.

02:34:22.000 It was going for him and missed.

02:34:24.000 That's all that was.

02:34:26.000 Jesus.

02:34:27.000 Look at its mouth open.

02:34:28.000 Just smashes right through the glass.

02:34:29.000 It sees all that fish and thinks this is a big piece of fish that's just sitting there and no one's eating it.

02:34:34.000 Wow.

02:34:34.000 So I'll just go eat that and he gets out of the way just in time, dude.

02:34:38.000 Look at that.

02:34:39.000 Just in time.

02:34:40.000 Almost a force pushed him up.

02:34:42.000 It wasn't even scurrying out of the way.

02:34:44.000 Right, it was the box breaking and kind of led him slightly to the side and he missed it. 0.99

02:34:50.000 Goddamn. 0.99

02:34:50.000 How did that guy survive that? 0.99

02:34:52.000 How did he get out of there? 1.00

02:34:54.000 That is fucking insane. 1.00

02:34:56.000 Yeah, pull him out immediately. 1.00

02:34:58.000 That's all those things do, just swim and eat, swim and eat.

02:35:01.000 Probably just a blank crunching noise in their brain.

02:35:05.000 Probably no instincts at all.

02:35:07.000 Don't care.

02:35:10.000 Is there any evidence of fish being emotional in any way at all?

02:35:14.000 No.

02:35:14.000 Or is it pure just a squid?

02:35:16.000 This lady said this once.

02:35:17.000 This lady said this once.

02:35:19.000 She goes, I eat fish because they don't take care of their kids. 1.00

02:35:22.000 I was like, it's true!

02:35:24.000 She's like, yeah, if I need protein, I'll eat fish. 0.83

02:35:26.000 I'm not connected to them.

02:35:28.000 I'm like, that's true.

02:35:29.000 I get it.

02:35:30.000 If you see a mama deer taking care of her baby deer, you're like, I get it.

02:35:34.000 Kosher, you can eat anything.

02:35:35.000 You have to kill everything a certain way except fish. 0.66

02:35:36.000 You can eat alive if you want. 0.94

02:35:38.000 You can just take a bite out of one.

02:35:39.000 They don't care.

02:35:41.000 Kosher would mean you'd have to eat agriculture animals, right?

02:35:44.000 Because you couldn't hunt.

02:35:47.000 Right.

02:35:48.000 For animals, except fish.

02:35:49.000 But what would you do in a case of an apocalypse?

02:35:52.000 Would you stick with that?

02:35:54.000 No.

02:35:54.000 Danger.

02:35:55.000 Can't start to death.

02:35:55.000 What would people do?

02:35:56.000 Do you have rules where you're allowed to get out of stuff?

02:35:59.000 Yeah, if you're going to die, you can do a lot of stuff.

02:36:00.000 Okay. 0.99

02:36:01.000 Yeah, you can't rape. 1.00

02:36:03.000 Can you eat a person with cheese? 0.84

02:36:13.000 That's hilarious.

02:36:14.000 People eating cheese doesn't go together?

02:36:16.000 It's like, ooh, that's the line.

02:36:18.000 That's our number one, right?

02:36:20.000 Like eating people.

02:36:21.000 When people eat people.

02:36:22.000 What do we eat people? 1.00

02:36:24.000 Well, that's like the Donner Party type shit. 1.00

02:36:26.000 They eat each other, stay alive. 1.00

02:36:28.000 And then they made it.

02:36:29.000 So you're on the other side.

02:36:30.000 You live, but you live because you ate your friend.

02:36:33.000 Yeah.

02:36:33.000 It was like...

02:36:35.000 It's tough.

02:36:36.000 Yeah.

02:36:36.000 Well, a lot of them were waiting for people to die and then eating them.

02:36:39.000 And I think some people probably just sacrificed themselves.

02:36:42.000 I think some of those people were like, let's have a rule where nobody eats own family.

02:36:45.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:36:47.000 Could you imagine?

02:36:49.000 Is there a circumstance that's not like a dire situation where you would try cooked human flesh in any way?

02:36:55.000 I'm not really interested in that.

02:36:56.000 Yeah.

02:36:57.000 No.

02:36:58.000 It just doesn't seem like a road you want to go down.

02:37:00.000 What if it's your favorite food?

02:37:02.000 You find out. 1.00

02:37:02.000 What if you eat it and you're like, holy shit. 1.00

02:37:05.000 Is this really people? 1.00

02:37:06.000 This is fucking amazing. 0.99

02:37:07.000 It is delicious. 0.99

02:37:08.000 The perfect combo of salty and sweet.

02:37:10.000 Did you see the menu?

02:37:11.000 Slow roast.

02:37:11.000 The movie The Menu?

02:37:12.000 Yeah.

02:37:13.000 That was great.

02:37:13.000 Great movie, right?

02:37:14.000 That was a wild ass movie. 0.89

02:37:16.000 Like, that's the kind of movie where they would serve you human flesh. 0.98

02:37:19.000 Oh, yeah.

02:37:19.000 Yeah.

02:37:20.000 Well, Ari said that we brought it up today on the way here because he was saying him and Bobby Kelly went to the Copenhagen.

02:37:26.000 Yeah.

02:37:26.000 It's kind of based on that.

02:37:28.000 Yeah.

02:37:29.000 And it is. 1.00

02:37:29.000 It's so up its own ass. 1.00

02:37:30.000 It's hilarious. 0.99

02:37:31.000 Where were you guys?

02:37:31.000 But they do everything great.

02:37:32.000 Denmark.

02:37:33.000 It's in Denmark?

02:37:34.000 Oh, Copenhagen?

02:37:34.000 He just closed.

02:37:36.000 What's it called?

02:37:37.000 Noma.

02:37:37.000 Oh, that's the guy that just decided out of the blue to stop.

02:37:41.000 Second time.

02:37:42.000 He's like the greatest chef in the world.

02:37:43.000 Second time?

02:37:44.000 First time he stopped, he won like the best restaurant in the world like three out of four years.

02:37:48.000 And then he was like, I'm out.

02:37:49.000 And then like a couple years later he came back.

02:37:51.000 And then he said like, there's no way to do this like by paying everybody enough.

02:37:56.000 So he's like, you can't make profits that way?

02:37:58.000 He goes, you're right.

02:37:59.000 Actually, we'll just shut down.

02:38:00.000 Wow.

02:38:01.000 Yeah.

02:38:01.000 He's like, I thought about it.

02:38:03.000 This is weird to take advantage of people financially and then you can't operate otherwise.

02:38:07.000 What made it the best place?

02:38:08.000 Like things you would never combine ever?

02:38:09.000 I told you they used to peel walnuts.

02:38:11.000 Yeah, but I mean- It was a 26-course meal.

02:38:13.000 Experience things for sure, but I'm just saying like, is it like a mixture of like- They spared no expense.

02:38:18.000 They didn't overload it with tables.

02:38:19.000 They, like, moved it out so you had a great experience.

02:38:22.000 26 courses.

02:38:23.000 They were like, we have a wine pairing menu.

02:38:24.000 And I was like, okay.

02:38:25.000 And Bobby's like, I'm an alcoholic.

02:38:27.000 And they go, we got a juice pairing menu for you, though.

02:38:29.000 Juice?

02:38:29.000 And it's just like everything was taken care of.

02:38:33.000 Nice.

02:38:34.000 Yeah, it was like two and a half hours.

02:38:35.000 How much is it per person?

02:38:37.000 $500.

02:38:38.000 That's actually not as bad as I thought, though, really.

02:38:40.000 Very interesting.

02:38:42.000 They have professional chefs peeling walnuts so you don't get the little shells thing stuck in your teeth.

02:38:47.000 Did you enjoy it as much as you enjoyed another really good restaurant?

02:38:51.000 Like, was it an added part of the experience to have all those courses?

02:38:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:38:56.000 It was an adventure.

02:38:56.000 Fried moss.

02:38:58.000 Ants to mimic citrus.

02:39:00.000 How are the fries?

02:39:01.000 Skin on?

02:39:02.000 And you leave hungry.

02:39:03.000 That's what everybody says, and it's true. 0.99

02:39:07.000 What makes the best restaurant in the world?

02:39:09.000 Oh, is that caviar and a whale stick?

02:39:11.000 Reindeer brain jelly.

02:39:12.000 Wow.

02:39:12.000 What?

02:39:13.000 Oh, everything's local.

02:39:14.000 He started local.

02:39:14.000 Reindeer brain jelly.

02:39:17.000 Nope.

02:39:18.000 It's all good.

02:39:19.000 No, no it ain't.

02:39:21.000 Interesting.

02:39:23.000 But it's not very filling.

02:39:24.000 Wait, what are they saying?

02:39:25.000 Hang on there.

02:39:25.000 Beetle made from berry hides and black garlic.

02:39:29.000 Wow.

02:39:29.000 I didn't have that one.

02:39:30.000 Oh, wow.

02:39:32.000 Interesting.

02:39:33.000 Flower pot.

02:39:34.000 Rose-scented cake in the shape of a flower pot.

02:39:37.000 Wow.

02:39:38.000 Wow.

02:39:39.000 Come on.

02:39:40.000 That's insane.

02:39:41.000 Come on.

02:39:41.000 You're showing off.

02:39:42.000 You're just showing off.

02:39:44.000 Okay. 0.99

02:39:44.000 Duck brain. 0.99

02:39:46.000 Wow. 0.51

02:39:48.000 Duck feet candies.

02:39:50.000 Nope.

02:39:50.000 Oh, my God.

02:39:51.000 No.

02:39:52.000 What is that one?

02:39:53.000 Chicken feet.

02:39:53.000 Nope.

02:39:53.000 Is that chicken feet?

02:39:54.000 Yeah.

02:39:55.000 Yeah.

02:39:55.000 Duck feet.

02:39:57.000 Fudge made from smoked duck fat.

02:40:00.000 Wait, is it just shaped like duck feet?

02:40:03.000 I don't know.

02:40:04.000 Yeah, it's just shaped like duck feet.

02:40:06.000 But I mean, that's insane.

02:40:09.000 Wow.

02:40:10.000 So that's just a different kind of experience.

02:40:13.000 It's all experiential.

02:40:13.000 It's also not bad.

02:40:14.000 It's good.

02:40:15.000 But like, it's for the adventure.

02:40:17.000 I'm like, I'm halfway into those.

02:40:18.000 I'm like, I just want to stay. 0.99

02:40:19.000 I'm gonna get a fucking red wine. 0.99

02:40:21.000 Goodbye medium rare. 1.00

02:40:22.000 Give me a glass of wine. 0.98

02:40:23.000 I'm fucking simple. 0.99

02:40:25.000 Me and Ari went to the blind place in Toronto once. 0.99

02:40:31.000 What's that?

02:40:31.000 Complete in the darkness.

02:40:33.000 What?

02:40:33.000 Blind waiters and waitresses.

02:40:35.000 What?

02:40:35.000 They lead you to behind a curtain, then another curtain, then another pitch black.

02:40:39.000 They seat you down.

02:40:40.000 They feel your way down. 1.00

02:40:42.000 Absolute black. 0.89

02:40:42.000 Is that what you have to do? 0.89

02:40:43.000 Au Noir?

02:40:44.000 Maybe.

02:40:45.000 I did one in Vietnam once and then we did this together.

02:40:48.000 So how do you see where you're going?

02:40:49.000 They lead you.

02:40:50.000 They lead you.

02:40:50.000 What if you have to pee?

02:40:52.000 You tell them and they'll lead you.

02:40:53.000 They'll lead you to the bathroom.

02:40:54.000 How do you know where you're pissing? 1.00

02:40:55.000 How do you know when you're done wiping your ass? 1.00

02:40:57.000 You can't take a dump there, dude. 1.00

02:40:59.000 They take you out to the lobby.

02:41:00.000 What?!

02:41:00.000 Don't take a dump in a nice restaurant.

02:41:01.000 What if you have to take a dump? 1.00

02:41:02.000 You gonna hold it in to get a shit like that lady on OnlyFans? 1.00

02:41:06.000 What are you gonna do? 1.00

02:41:07.000 Sometimes you have to take a shit. 1.00

02:41:08.000 Yeah, true. 1.00

02:41:09.000 Ari, you've shit in restaurants that are really nice before. 0.99

02:41:11.000 Yeah, you're right. 0.99

02:41:12.000 I take it back.

02:41:13.000 I take it back. 1.00

02:41:13.000 You'll have to shit in the dark. 1.00

02:41:14.000 See, you'd only not do it because it's a blind restaurant. 1.00

02:41:18.000 Right.

02:41:18.000 That's the only thing.

02:41:19.000 At a regular restaurant, of course you take a shit, right? 1.00

02:41:21.000 If you went to Noma... 1.00

02:41:22.000 And I was like, I have to use the restroom.

02:41:25.000 I'm not gonna not enjoy this.

02:41:26.000 I'll be back in 18 minutes.

02:41:29.000 Isn't that why you have a toilet? 1.00

02:41:30.000 So I can take a shit? 0.99

02:41:31.000 But not at that blind place. 1.00

02:41:32.000 You'd be like, how do I know when I'm done wiping my ass? 1.00

02:41:34.000 What if I accidentally shit in my pants? 1.00

02:41:37.000 What if a little pinch of a log... 0.98

02:41:40.000 Maybe they give you light in the bathroom.

02:41:42.000 Maybe your underwear are destroyed and you have to take them off and smell them.

02:41:47.000 You know?

02:41:48.000 Every time you wipe, you gotta clap your cheeks and see if it makes a mucky noise. 0.99

02:41:54.000 And then maybe you find out where the sink is to wash your fucking hands in the dark. 0.99

02:41:58.000 They have to have a sink there, too. 1.00

02:42:00.000 Yeah, they gotta have a sink. 1.00

02:42:01.000 You have to wash your hands.

02:42:02.000 So then you have to take your underwear and put them in the sink.

02:42:04.000 Maybe they go in there with you.

02:42:05.000 You smell your underwear and you don't like what you're smelling. 0.92

02:42:07.000 You're pitch black. 1.00

02:42:08.000 God damn it. 1.00

02:42:09.000 Is this shit? 1.00

02:42:10.000 Did I shit my pants? 1.00

02:42:12.000 Then you can wash your underwear. 1.00

02:42:14.000 Your wet underwear in that sink and hope you got it good.

02:42:19.000 Dry it off with paper towels.

02:42:22.000 Put it back on.

02:42:22.000 Why are you trying to save the underwear?

02:42:23.000 You don't have to worry about aesthetics.

02:42:26.000 You gotta worry about smell.

02:42:27.000 Smell should be problem number one you're trying to solve.

02:42:30.000 You're gonna need some soap on your underwear.

02:42:31.000 Cover it up with some dirt. 0.99

02:42:32.000 And then as you're leaving, the blind people are going, what the fuck were you doing in there, man? 1.00

02:42:36.000 And they can smell better than regular people, so they know. 0.99

02:42:39.000 Oh, they know. 1.00

02:42:39.000 They smell shit. 1.00

02:42:40.000 Yeah, you thought you got it off, but you didn't. 1.00

02:42:41.000 I thought it was weird when we were eating, if me and Ari would stop talking for a minute, you could almost like...

02:42:51.000 Robotically zone in on conversations coming from different places.

02:42:55.000 You know what I mean?

02:42:55.000 Listening to other people and you can really hear it clearly.

02:42:59.000 But if you could shoot, then you could almost go.

02:43:01.000 There's also someone behind talking.

02:43:02.000 You can almost focus in.

02:43:04.000 It's very weird.

02:43:04.000 So are you eating with your hands?

02:43:06.000 Or are you using forks?

02:43:07.000 You get a fork and knife.

02:43:08.000 Maybe just spoons?

02:43:09.000 No, knife.

02:43:10.000 Forty spoons, yeah.

02:43:11.000 Jesus Christ.

02:43:12.000 There was once we were gonna try each other's drink, so we're like, let's try this, let's pass it, but it's like, you have no idea, so you're just passing, I'm sliding mine over, I'm sliding, and then you're going back and forth, waiting slowly to touch his hand, and I'm like, how am I not getting it?

02:43:24.000 It's that dark.

02:43:25.000 How am I not getting it?

02:43:26.000 Pitch black.

02:43:27.000 And then he goes, How far up are you?

02:43:29.000 I'm like, up?

02:43:30.000 Why are you including up?

02:43:32.000 First of all, it wasn't drinks.

02:43:34.000 It was something on our forks.

02:43:37.000 And I wasn't even thinking of that I was doing that, because Ari definitely is down here trying to, like, you know, feel our hands touch. 1.00

02:43:42.000 And I'm apparently just like, where's your face?

02:43:45.000 Oh, get in the air! 0.99

02:43:46.000 Oh my god, you could have stabbed his eyes out! 0.84

02:43:49.000 Up? 0.97

02:43:50.000 Don't bro up at all!

02:43:51.000 Oh my god, up.

02:43:52.000 That's hilarious.

02:43:54.000 What a novel concept.

02:43:55.000 Yeah, you couldn't tell what you were eating.

02:43:57.000 You were just guessing based on smell and taste.

02:43:59.000 But that's what I thought was interesting.

02:44:00.000 I was wrong on almost everything.

02:44:03.000 What they do is they ask you if you want to know or if you want to be surprised.

02:44:07.000 So I was like, we were both surprised.

02:44:09.000 And they ask you afterwards, what do you think that was?

02:44:12.000 And I mean, it was like pork.

02:44:15.000 And they're like, chicken. 1.00

02:44:17.000 Damn. 0.99

02:44:17.000 Was that turkey? 0.99

02:44:18.000 That was sausage.

02:44:20.000 Everything was like nothing was right.

02:44:21.000 And you're like, if you can't see, it's amazing how much it affected that.

02:44:25.000 One that affects people that eat like fake meat.

02:44:29.000 What they think they're eating meat?

02:44:30.000 Yeah.

02:44:30.000 It makes it taste better?

02:44:31.000 If you gave someone one of them fake meat burgers and didn't tell them, how much would they be able to tell?

02:44:35.000 Because most of the time when people are eating a Beyond Meat burger, they know, right?

02:44:40.000 Right.

02:44:40.000 You do it on purpose.

02:44:41.000 But if you lie to them?

02:44:42.000 Yeah, if you just gave it to them, how much would they know?

02:44:45.000 Especially, they might just think it's a bland burger. 0.99

02:44:48.000 Especially if it's got like, you put fucking all kinds of sauce and pickles and shit on it. 0.99

02:44:53.000 I had the one from Burger King once, the Impossible Whopper. 0.99

02:44:58.000 How was it?

02:44:58.000 It tastes identical because you realize it's nothing to do with the meat anyway.

02:45:02.000 It's the way they stack that, you know, the mayo and whatever shit on it. 0.95

02:45:06.000 Yeah, all the sugars. 0.97

02:45:08.000 I had a quarter pounder, like, about a year ago.

02:45:10.000 I've never eaten one of those.

02:45:12.000 And I pulled into it. 0.99

02:45:13.000 I was fucking starving. 0.98

02:45:14.000 I'm like, let's go. 0.99

02:45:15.000 Come on, let me eat this stuff.

02:45:16.000 I put a quarter pounder in fries, and I was amazed at how sweet it tasted.

02:45:20.000 I'm like, it feels like there's sugar in this.

02:45:22.000 Like, do they put sugar in quarter pounders?

02:45:24.000 Oh, gotta be.

02:45:26.000 Gotta be.

02:45:26.000 But I was eating it, and I was like, this is kind of like, it was delicious, first of all.

02:45:30.000 But it was also, it was like, this is kind of like a pastry and a burger at the same time.

02:45:35.000 It was so sweet.

02:45:37.000 It was good, though.

02:45:39.000 I mean, I get it.

02:45:40.000 Obviously, yeah.

02:45:40.000 I get it.

02:45:42.000 It seems like...

02:45:43.000 No one's going like, hmm, I learned to like it.

02:45:46.000 9 grams of sugar.

02:45:47.000 9 grams of sugar.

02:45:48.000 That seems like...

02:45:49.000 How much is that next to a roll though?

02:45:51.000 I don't know what it's in.

02:45:51.000 It could be in the bread.

02:45:52.000 That's nothing compared to like a can of coke.

02:45:54.000 But it's sweet enough that I was noticing it because most of the time like I'm like an in-and-out guy.

02:46:00.000 I like in-and-out with like lettuce wraps.

02:46:04.000 That's the best.

02:46:04.000 It's just meat and cheese and...

02:46:06.000 The guy with Five Guys makes a mean lettuce wrap too.

02:46:09.000 Five Guys has the best though.

02:46:11.000 They're all coming around.

02:46:12.000 But Five Guys has jalapenos.

02:46:14.000 They have better fries.

02:46:16.000 Five Guys has those Cajun fries.

02:46:19.000 Five Guys does?

02:46:20.000 Mm-hmm.

02:46:21.000 Skin on though, not my jam.

02:46:24.000 I'll take it. 0.98

02:46:25.000 Man, Ari's got an old Jewish bladder. 1.00

02:46:27.000 Well, it was me yesterday. 1.00

02:46:29.000 Sometimes you just fuck up and you over hydrate. 1.00

02:46:32.000 Yesterday I had to pee three fucking times in the first three hours. 1.00

02:46:35.000 Just drank too much water. 0.99

02:46:37.000 My age is hitting me that I don't have to pee a lot, but when I have to pee, we gotta get there now.

02:46:43.000 Yeah, as long as it's just pee.

02:46:45.000 When I have to pee, I have to go. 1.00

02:46:46.000 It's becoming shit. 1.00

02:46:48.000 Dude, congratulations. 1.00

02:46:49.000 That club is beautiful.

02:46:51.000 Thank you.

02:46:52.000 Thanks.

02:46:53.000 It's fun.

02:46:53.000 Everything everybody said it was, too, which is...

02:46:56.000 The energy down here is good right now for comedy.

02:46:59.000 Well, there's a lot of good people here and a lot of funny people that are actually working there, which is fun, too.

02:47:05.000 Well, you guys walked in the...

02:47:06.000 You guys are getting some Rebecca's down here with the creek and everything, and like...

02:47:11.000 It was weird.

02:47:13.000 I'd come down here and do gigs before you came down here, and with the scene changing, there was a little bit of pushback in the beginning.

02:47:23.000 I don't know if you got it on your plate at all, but it was funny.

02:47:27.000 Some of the comics in Austin, you'd be like, hey, it's becoming a real scene down there.

02:47:31.000 And it's like, yeah, for this batch of people.

02:47:34.000 It seemed like the cause of the divide that I didn't know was...

02:47:37.000 Not even like a...

02:47:39.000 It was already that thing in New York, I felt like.

02:47:42.000 You're always gonna have people when there's a lot of shows that only have like four or five people, like the Joe Rogan and Friends shows that I was doing at the Vulcan.

02:47:49.000 The people that are just left out.

02:47:51.000 Yeah, there's not enough data points.

02:47:52.000 There's not enough spots.

02:47:53.000 That's part of the reason why we decided to do two open mic nights.

02:47:57.000 Love it.

02:47:57.000 So we have open mic night on Sunday and Monday.

02:47:59.000 And then, obviously, there's Kill Tony, which is the cornerstone of the comedy scene because that's where the new people, a lot of times, that's where they get their first set and they're doing it live on fucking YouTube. 0.63

02:48:11.000 It's amazing. 0.64

02:48:12.000 It's a great fucking fun show and it was awesome watching you guys. 0.98

02:48:16.000 Smart to have a open mic right there. 0.98

02:48:19.000 They're there for it anyway.

02:48:20.000 Why make them waste their night if they don't get drawn?

02:48:22.000 Exactly.

02:48:23.000 This way you got a chance to do the open mic.

02:48:26.000 You got a chance to do Kill Tony.

02:48:28.000 There's another open mic on Sunday.

02:48:30.000 The way it's set up, it's set up to foster new talent, too.

02:48:35.000 It's not just set up to take care of existing talent.

02:48:38.000 It's set up so that you create a nice comedy environment where people can go and see guys like Shane Gillis, see guys like you guys go up, see guys like Greg Fitzsimmons or Schultz was here last week. 0.81

02:48:51.000 It was fucking amazing.

02:48:53.000 They get to see these people coming to town. 0.99

02:48:55.000 You have to see Dave Chappelle show up.

02:48:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:48:57.000 You know, they're getting to see, like, the cream of the crop come in and fuck around. 1.00

02:49:00.000 That's why she used to place in the door for that reason, to see better comics. 1.00

02:49:03.000 Exactly.

02:49:04.000 Exactly.

02:49:04.000 Because it's a massive part of the education.

02:49:06.000 Yeah.

02:49:06.000 So, we wanted to make sure that that was, like, a big part of what we were doing.

02:49:11.000 Dude, there's a swarm of employees.

02:49:14.000 Just like all comics, I assume, or some level of it.

02:49:18.000 Just taking care of everything.

02:49:20.000 And they get to punch out.

02:49:21.000 Like, if they have a set, they can go punch out.

02:49:23.000 Love that.

02:49:24.000 And come back.

02:49:25.000 Oh, really?

02:49:25.000 Yeah, if you have a set across town, just punch out, come back.

02:49:28.000 That's awesome.

02:49:29.000 Yeah, don't waste the night.

02:49:30.000 Do a set.

02:49:31.000 Yeah, the whole idea is that it's an environment for growing new people and for spreading comedy.

02:49:41.000 A lot of comics, particularly in the beginning, They need something that they can believe in and count on.

02:49:48.000 And you don't necessarily get that if someone's doing these pop-up shows here or there.

02:49:52.000 You're like, how am I included in this?

02:49:53.000 How can I get included in this?

02:49:55.000 And the only way is you have to have open mics.

02:49:59.000 You have to have open mics.

02:50:00.000 It's the only way.

02:50:01.000 And then on top of open mics, you have to have little satellite rooms.

02:50:05.000 There's got to be a way you can kind of branch out.

02:50:07.000 This guy's got a room here, he's got a room there. 0.99

02:50:09.000 And you make this, you network with the other comics that are doing that, and you put together a fucking act. 0.92

02:50:15.000 But you want to know that there's like, what's the scene? 0.98

02:50:19.000 What's the community?

02:50:21.000 How many good comics are around here?

02:50:22.000 Can I learn from these people?

02:50:24.000 Because if you're stuck in a place where you're the funniest guy in town, you're in some weird spot in the middle of nowhere, you gotta get out of there, right?

02:50:31.000 If you want to grow as a comic, you're not gonna grow in a vacuum.

02:50:34.000 You're not gonna grow in a vacuum.

02:50:35.000 But do you think, that's what I mean, because it used to be obviously always they'd push you to the coast, New York or L.A. That's kind of like over now.

02:50:44.000 Do you think it's as like, here in Nashville is the same difference at this point as far as like...

02:50:50.000 I don't know what's going on in Nashville.

02:50:52.000 I mean, Nashville's Zany's, which is a great club.

02:50:54.000 It's been around forever.

02:50:55.000 It's one of the best in the country.

02:50:57.000 But I don't know what the scene is other than Zany's.

02:50:59.000 I don't know much either.

02:51:00.000 There's a lot of clubs here now.

02:51:02.000 It's bigger here.

02:51:03.000 It's a lot bigger here.

02:51:04.000 There's a lot of clubs here now.

02:51:05.000 It's different.

02:51:06.000 There's a lot of world-class comedians that moved here.

02:51:09.000 It's kind of different.

02:51:11.000 And it's just slick.

02:51:12.000 I just want to make it a great place for everybody.

02:51:14.000 Fun for what we love to do.

02:51:16.000 That's what we loved the most about the store was the hang, the camaraderie. 0.96

02:51:20.000 We were just always fucking around, always laughing, always having fun. 0.93

02:51:24.000 It was already a fun hang. 0.97

02:51:24.000 Yeah, and we also watch each other's sets. 0.97

02:51:27.000 I like that new thing.

02:51:28.000 We talk about a new bit.

02:51:29.000 It's fun.

02:51:31.000 But New York was the best gym, is the way I would put it, for comedy, because of the availability of stage time.

02:51:37.000 You could kind of keep going up from 3 p.m.

02:51:40.000 if you wanted to, until 2 o'clock in the morning.

02:51:43.000 And I don't think that's even true at all anymore, that you need to be in that scene now at all.

02:51:48.000 That's what I mean.

02:51:49.000 You could really get full-on successful and never leave your...

02:51:55.000 Hometown?

02:51:56.000 Hometown's the wrong thing, but I said there's just more avenues, I think, now.

02:51:58.000 But you can get up three times, four times a night here.

02:52:01.000 Absolutely.

02:52:02.000 So you can get the spots now.

02:52:03.000 You definitely can here.

02:52:04.000 I mean, especially in that one area.

02:52:06.000 You've got the creek, Creek in the Cave, which is right there, right next to us.

02:52:10.000 Then you've got Vulcan, which is also like half a block away from us.

02:52:13.000 And then you have Red Band's room, the Sunset Strip.

02:52:17.000 What is it?

02:52:18.000 Sunset Room?

02:52:19.000 Sunset Strip.

02:52:21.000 Sunset Strip ACX. Sunset Strip Room.

02:52:24.000 And that's right next to us.

02:52:26.000 That's 500 seats.

02:52:27.000 Plus bar shows.

02:52:28.000 Yeah.

02:52:29.000 And then there's plenty of shows.

02:52:29.000 There's also the Velveeta Room.

02:52:31.000 I haven't been to that.

02:52:33.000 Ron White says it's a place called the Green Room that's a small spot that's right over there.

02:52:38.000 That's awesome.

02:52:39.000 So there's a lot of spots.

02:52:40.000 And then you're always going to have the out-of-town stuff.

02:52:42.000 You're always going to have someone's doing a comedy show in Dripping Springs.

02:52:46.000 Someone's doing a comedy show here.

02:52:47.000 There's a bar.

02:52:48.000 They're hiring comedians.

02:52:49.000 But the industry is not leaving LA. That's what I wonder if it's going to go like that ever.

02:52:53.000 Do you think so?

02:52:54.000 Yeah, sure.

02:52:54.000 If there's people here.

02:52:55.000 I agree with you.

02:52:55.000 The industry is kind of podcasts.

02:52:58.000 For us, the industry is podcasts.

02:53:00.000 The industry is podcasts and stand-up.

02:53:02.000 That's the industry for us.

02:53:03.000 We think of the industry as like someone's going to hire us to do something outside of doing stand-up.

02:53:07.000 Yeah, right.

02:53:08.000 Which is like, is that really what you want?

02:53:10.000 It sounds like, which I don't care about, like auditioning for movies or TV stuff.

02:53:16.000 It's never been my deal anyway.

02:53:17.000 If it is your deal, that's the place to be. 0.99

02:53:19.000 But at this point, too, it's all Zoom on that shit. 0.99

02:53:22.000 You just have to fly in for the final meeting. 1.00

02:53:24.000 Yeah, you're not wrong.

02:53:25.000 Yeah, but you've got to network.

02:53:26.000 If you want to make it as an actor... 0.99

02:53:29.000 God, those sickening fucking networking parties of my life are still going on. 0.99

02:53:33.000 You have to go to those things. 0.99

02:53:33.000 If you're someone in the beginning, you want the casting people to like you, you want the executives to like you. 0.99

02:53:38.000 You're like, oh, that Jay's a charming guy.

02:53:40.000 He's really fun.

02:53:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:53:42.000 You know, you'd go to these things and they'd like you because you'd hang out with them and talk shit. 1.00

02:53:45.000 Ugh. 0.99

02:53:48.000 Industry laughter is the worst feeling in the world.

02:53:51.000 All trying to have a good time.

02:53:53.000 It's wild.

02:53:55.000 Literal vampires.

02:53:56.000 Yep.

02:53:57.000 Yep.

02:53:57.000 Literal vampires.

02:53:58.000 Sucking the youth out of, like, one-two talent. 0.98

02:54:01.000 But that's the nature of the gig.

02:54:03.000 The nature of the gig is you've got to depend on other people to come up with stuff that you can get credit for.

02:54:09.000 That's the way that animal feeds.

02:54:11.000 100%, dude.

02:54:12.000 It's the nature of the gig.

02:54:13.000 And, you know, you have enormous power.

02:54:16.000 When you're at a network, like, deciding what does and doesn't get on the air.

02:54:20.000 Everyone's gonna like ya.

02:54:21.000 And it's all so weird.

02:54:23.000 Like, you know, they have these weird sweetheart deals at production companies.

02:54:26.000 At least they did in the sitcom days.

02:54:27.000 And so, like, a crappy show would be on right after Friends, and it would be, like, number two in the ratings. 0.99

02:54:32.000 And everybody's like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:54:34.000 Because of the lead-in. 1.00

02:54:35.000 These are garbage shows. 0.99

02:54:37.000 Shows that were just like... 1.00

02:54:38.000 Single guy.

02:54:38.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:54:39.000 There was a few of them.

02:54:40.000 They also ran shows.

02:54:41.000 It was like in between Seinfeld and Friends and in between Seinfeld and ER. Paul Sims from NewsRadio famously called it a shit sandwich. 0.99

02:54:50.000 It's like, it's what it is. 0.99

02:54:52.000 It's like they're sandwiching two good shows, Seinfeld and Friends.

02:54:55.000 The idea now of anything like that Abbott Elementary, I've never seen it, but I've heard good things about it and it's staying around.

02:55:02.000 It's popular.

02:55:03.000 It's huge.

02:55:04.000 But where does that happen anymore?

02:55:05.000 Like...

02:55:06.000 Where a sitcom should be anyone's endgame anymore.

02:55:09.000 I feel like if it's really good, people always love them.

02:55:13.000 If someone can come up with a really good, curb your enthusiasm, people always love them.

02:55:17.000 Sure, always Sonny was great.

02:55:18.000 They always love them. 0.99

02:55:19.000 They're just generally so fucking lame. 0.68

02:55:21.000 But they're few and far between, and a lot of times it's just like, it seems like, I feel like there's no learning from the mistakes, and I don't know if always, and I was just throwing in like, Let's make you best friends with the X. Retro. 0.91

02:55:33.000 You know what?

02:55:35.000 This guy was popular at this one point.

02:55:37.000 Throw him in another show.

02:55:38.000 John Cryer.

02:55:39.000 John Cryer.

02:55:40.000 Two and a half men.

02:55:43.000 It's just a weird life, man.

02:55:45.000 It's a weird life.

02:55:46.000 George Lopez is back.

02:55:47.000 The George Lopez show.

02:55:49.000 Now it's called Lopez vs. 0.98

02:55:51.000 Lopez.

02:55:52.000 You see a commercial for you at a bar sometimes and it'll come on mute and you're just like, this looks like a sketch.

02:55:58.000 It looks like they're playing a sketch of what a sitcom was.

02:56:01.000 It used to be the thing you wanted. 0.99

02:56:03.000 In the 90s when I came here, I was like, holy shit, you're on a sitcom. 0.98

02:56:07.000 The real thing was having your own sitcom. 0.98

02:56:12.000 Everybody wanted their own sitcom.

02:56:14.000 And you meet these other people that have their own sitcom, and they're like, whoa.

02:56:17.000 You got your own.

02:56:20.000 Almost the sign for failure, though, is when the name...

02:56:23.000 The Seinfeld model, people tried to use it.

02:56:26.000 Remember it was Clegghorn?

02:56:27.000 Yeah.

02:56:28.000 Costello.

02:56:29.000 Sue Costello had her own thing once. 1.00

02:56:30.000 I remember when I was on NewsRadio, Tom Rhodes had the Tom Rhodes Show.

02:56:36.000 He was a teacher.

02:56:37.000 I was like, dude, you got your own show.

02:56:39.000 This is crazy.

02:56:41.000 I had known Tom from the clubs.

02:56:43.000 To see him have his own...

02:56:44.000 You have the Tom Rhodes Show.

02:56:46.000 That's nuts.

02:56:48.000 Was that before or after he did that talk show overseas?

02:56:52.000 Before.

02:56:53.000 Well before.

02:56:53.000 Then that ended and he got a job offer there and he just loved Amsterdam, I think.

02:56:57.000 He still had the long hair when he was on the sitcom.

02:57:01.000 Oh yeah, beautiful hair.

02:57:02.000 Tom Rhodes is in the running for Coolest Guy in Comedy.

02:57:05.000 Oh, yeah.

02:57:05.000 You'd have to at least nominate him.

02:57:07.000 What a life.

02:57:08.000 He's an interesting guy.

02:57:08.000 You follow him on Instagram.

02:57:09.000 He's always going to these interesting places.

02:57:12.000 He does a lot of traveling, takes photos of it.

02:57:15.000 I never think it's for comedy, but it always is.

02:57:17.000 Yeah, it's always for comedy.

02:57:18.000 That's wild.

02:57:20.000 I'm going to Ponyang. 0.93

02:57:21.000 It's like, for what?

02:57:22.000 You want to see some famous thing?

02:57:24.000 That's smart, though.

02:57:25.000 See things, book a gig.

02:57:27.000 He had an album that was just bits about local places. 0.53

02:57:30.000 Like a Shanghai bit and then a fucking Mongolia bit for in that town or in that place. 0.75

02:57:36.000 And it was like 135 minutes. 0.93

02:57:37.000 Can you imagine doing comedy for Mongolians and they get mad at you?

02:57:42.000 You cross the line like, what?

02:57:44.000 Oh no!

02:57:44.000 They jump on archers on horseback coming at you.

02:57:47.000 You're so fucked. 1.00

02:57:48.000 You know how scary that would be? 1.00

02:57:49.000 You piss off a dude with a fur hat. 0.85

02:57:51.000 They'll piss off Mongols. 1.00

02:57:54.000 You get the Fu Manchus.

02:57:55.000 He's got a falcon on his wrist.

02:57:57.000 Get him! 1.00

02:57:58.000 Takes the mask off that fucking monster. 1.00

02:58:01.000 Shoulder pads of skulls. 1.00

02:58:05.000 Imagine they turn the lights on in that blind menu place.

02:58:08.000 That's what you get.

02:58:09.000 No!

02:58:10.000 It's all Mongols. 1.00

02:58:10.000 It's a horror! 1.00

02:58:11.000 They've been slicing human beings like a fucking ham. 1.00

02:58:15.000 Slicing pieces and serving it to you. 1.00

02:58:18.000 Jesus.

02:58:19.000 The club is great, though, dude.

02:58:21.000 Thank you.

02:58:21.000 I'm really excited.

02:58:22.000 I did a set in the other room, too.

02:58:24.000 That was fun.

02:58:25.000 Got a good late-night OR vibe.

02:58:26.000 It's got a good late-night OR vibe in the little room.

02:58:30.000 The big room is not like the main room, but it's not like the OR. It's kind of like the OR on steroids.

02:58:38.000 It's just a larger OR, but the sound, it's a real honest room.

02:58:45.000 It's really good.

02:58:46.000 Set up great.

02:58:47.000 It feels like a balcony from on stage, but it's not.

02:58:49.000 Shout out to Louis C.K. because he gave me some really good advice about the setup.

02:58:53.000 He came while we're in the middle of construction.

02:58:55.000 We changed a couple of things because of his advice.

02:58:58.000 I love that.

02:58:59.000 Yeah, we lowered the ceiling in the little room.

02:59:01.000 We made the stage smaller.

02:59:03.000 The stage was like four feet larger on each side.

02:59:05.000 He's like, why is it so big?

02:59:06.000 I'm like, yeah, why is it so big?

02:59:07.000 Let's go chop it up. 1.00

02:59:08.000 In the little room.

02:59:09.000 Yeah, I just said, just tell me what you think, and I'll do that.

02:59:12.000 Wow.

02:59:12.000 He's like, lower the ceiling, like here, lower the ceiling to there, and then the other room, like lower it even further, and the other room, like, okay, lower it.

02:59:19.000 That's funny when someone gives you really expensive advice.

02:59:21.000 Yeah.

02:59:22.000 He goes, say it, and I'll do it.

02:59:23.000 He goes...

02:59:24.000 I'd get rid of this wall. 1.00

02:59:26.000 Shit. 1.00

02:59:27.000 Move it two inches. 1.00

02:59:28.000 Yeah.

02:59:28.000 He just told me what he thought.

02:59:30.000 He was right.

02:59:31.000 He was thinking about it.

02:59:31.000 I was like, yeah, do it.

02:59:32.000 He's like, do it right the first time.

02:59:34.000 I'm like, yep.

02:59:34.000 You're right.

02:59:35.000 Fix it before it opens.

02:59:36.000 Because I thought it would be okay the way it was, but it wouldn't be optimal.

02:59:39.000 That's the point.

02:59:40.000 You're doing all this construction.

02:59:41.000 Why not make it optimal? 1.00

02:59:43.000 It just required a lot more shit. 0.99

02:59:46.000 A lot more stuff have to be in place. 0.99

02:59:48.000 But I mean, man, it's just run so right.

02:59:52.000 Yeah, it's great.

02:59:53.000 It's awesome.

02:59:54.000 It looks like a, like it feels like a club, you know, like a real old, like this one works club.

03:00:00.000 Have you farmed out like the boss jobs enough that you don't feel like you have to have weird things with people ever?

03:00:05.000 Well, there's weird things.

03:00:07.000 You're always going to have weird things.

03:00:08.000 One of the great things about that building is the building itself.

03:00:11.000 There's something about that building, man.

03:00:13.000 There's something about these old, old, old buildings.

03:00:16.000 I feel like they've got There's some memory in that building.

03:00:19.000 Some abortions late night. 0.97

03:00:21.000 That's the story.

03:00:22.000 When we started right away, it was like, Jesus Christ, it feels like we've been here for like 10 years.

03:00:28.000 Everybody was kind of weirded out on their first set because it was just kind of crazy.

03:00:31.000 Like, oh my God, we're doing it.

03:00:32.000 Because we talked about doing it for two years.

03:00:33.000 So many years, it was around the corner.

03:00:35.000 Yeah.

03:00:36.000 Well, you know what happened.

03:00:37.000 Now you know.

03:00:38.000 The cult.

03:00:39.000 This gay hypnotist got in the way. 1.00

03:00:41.000 I slithered out of that fucking deal. 1.00

03:00:43.000 And I had to get a new place. 1.00

03:00:44.000 The building sank under a mound of cum. 0.84

03:00:46.000 And that was after I'd already hired everybody. 0.83

03:00:48.000 So I had to find another spot.

03:00:53.000 Oh, so you changed places.

03:00:54.000 Oh, yeah, it was gonna be out of town.

03:00:56.000 Yeah, the cult place.

03:00:56.000 The cult place that we talked about earlier, that holy hell.

03:00:58.000 That was the original place.

03:00:59.000 That's so funny.

03:01:01.000 It's haunted by the ghosts of cheek implants.

03:01:03.000 Bro, haunted by all the sorrow of people who wasted 20 years doing that.

03:01:09.000 Following a dude.

03:01:09.000 It was so sad.

03:01:10.000 At the end of the documentary, when you see these people now regretting deeply their time in the cult.

03:01:15.000 They're years. 0.99

03:01:15.000 I gave my life to this man, and all I got was buttfucked. 0.99

03:01:18.000 That's too much for a t-shirt. 0.96

03:01:20.000 They all seem to agree that in the beginning it was awesome.

03:01:24.000 There were nice moments to it.

03:01:26.000 Just like the government.

03:01:28.000 1776, in the beginning, it was awesome.

03:01:30.000 It was awesome.

03:01:31.000 You had your Second Amendment, you had your First Amendment.

03:01:33.000 But he liked the Charles Mansons.

03:01:34.000 As his mind went, since he was the leader, they would have went every direction he wanted to go.

03:01:40.000 If he goes, every day, we're going to go out and give flowers to people and tell them, like, put a smile on your face, it'll make things...

03:01:46.000 But he just started going, like, nah, race war.

03:01:49.000 Do you know about that?

03:01:49.000 Do you know the whole story of the Mansons story?

03:01:51.000 You should read this book called Chaos from Tom O'Neill.

03:01:54.000 It's Greg Fitzsimmons' neighbor.

03:01:55.000 You know that story?

03:01:57.000 He wrote a book about Manson and the CIA. Manson was literally trained in LSD. This guy, Jolly West, visited him in jail.

03:02:09.000 He was a part of a program they were doing.

03:02:11.000 They dosed him up with acid and then gave him acid to seduce these hippies. 1.00

03:02:16.000 And taught him strategies for like, don't do acid, but tell them you did, and then they do it, and this is how you control them.

03:02:22.000 He had guided help throughout his time, because they were trying to discredit the hippie movement and the anti-war movement, and they were trying to see if they could get a guy to convince hippies to be murderers.

03:02:34.000 Oh, to make them fear?

03:02:35.000 He got arrested.

03:02:36.000 He was on parole.

03:02:37.000 He got arrested multiple times.

03:02:38.000 And when he got arrested, they would always let him go.

03:02:40.000 And they would always say, we found out it was above our pay grade.

03:02:42.000 So they were making...

03:02:44.000 This is documented in this book called Chaos.

03:02:46.000 You've got to read this book.

03:02:47.000 Because this is not like wild assertions.

03:02:49.000 This is a guy who went on this rabbit hole for 20 years.

03:02:53.000 And he uncovered all the evidence about the case. 0.93

03:02:56.000 And he's like, there's real evidence that this MKUltra, Operation MKUltra mind control shit, that Manson was a part of that. 0.89

03:03:04.000 They were helping him. 0.96

03:03:05.000 Where did he get all this acid?

03:03:06.000 He was getting this acid, giving it to these kids.

03:03:08.000 How does he know how to control these people and get them to do things?

03:03:12.000 They taught him how to do it in prison.

03:03:13.000 They were never in their right mind, that's true.

03:03:16.000 There was never a clear mind in the place.

03:03:18.000 Everyone was burned out. 0.99

03:03:19.000 He programmed these people while they were high on acid and got them to kill people. 0.98

03:03:22.000 Wow, it worked. 0.64

03:03:23.000 He got really vulnerable, very gullible people.

03:03:26.000 You dose them up with acid. 1.00

03:03:28.000 I hate your garbage, man! 1.00

03:03:31.000 And then the next thing you know, you're fucking stabbing people because you feel like they're pigs. 1.00

03:03:36.000 The guy, when he did, I don't know if it was a Diane Sawyer, whatever the ones he did in jail, and then when it cuts to at one point, they go, I went on to ask a few more questions that he just did, and it's kind of like montages him pointing crazy and then doing like, like Elvis karate at one point. 0.99

03:03:54.000 He must have been on such a fun level.

03:03:58.000 There was a thing in the book where he threatened one of the Beach Boys because he wanted to be a musician.

03:04:06.000 Remember that?

03:04:08.000 He wanted to be a musician.

03:04:09.000 It didn't work out for him. 1.00

03:04:10.000 So he was trying to kill one of the fucking Beach Boys. 0.99

03:04:13.000 I think it was Brian Wilson. 1.00

03:04:14.000 To replace him?

03:04:15.000 To punish him.

03:04:18.000 No, so it was the Beach Boys guy.

03:04:20.000 It was Brian Wilson's brother.

03:04:22.000 Whatever the other Wilson it was, I believe. 0.91

03:04:24.000 What did he accuse him of? 1.00

03:04:26.000 So, I think he just, like, loved getting his drugs and pussy that he would bring around. 1.00

03:04:31.000 Who would bring around? 1.00

03:04:32.000 Charles Manson.

03:04:33.000 Manson would bring around these chicks and whatever, and they'd party with the guys.

03:04:37.000 And then, you know, I think he gave them, like, a...

03:04:41.000 I think he brought one of his songs to the Beach Boys and they recorded it.

03:04:44.000 I think the Beach Boys recorded a song written, co-written at least, yeah.

03:04:48.000 Learn Never To Love was written by Charles Manson.

03:04:51.000 Yeah.

03:04:51.000 If you've ever heard this fact before without any details, you might think that Manson had some kind of career in the music industry before he went weird.

03:04:57.000 Those murders meant he was connected with a bunch of stars in Los Angeles, right?

03:05:01.000 But this connection was more than professional. 0.99

03:05:04.000 For a while, Beach Boy Dennis Wilson was actually sharing a house with the Manson family, Holy shit! 0.99

03:05:24.000 Wow. 0.99

03:05:24.000 It's April 1968 when Wilson picked up a couple of hitchhiking women. 0.99

03:05:27.000 Have you ever seen Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

03:05:29.000 Picture that scene where Brad Pitt's character picks up a Manson follower played by Margaret Qualley.

03:05:34.000 The women of the family used this tactic repeatedly to lure in new followers. 1.00

03:05:39.000 The two hitchhikers offered to come to Wilson's place.

03:05:42.000 Wilson didn't realize they'd take up residence following the one night stand or that their guru Charles and his other followers would move in as well. 0.99

03:05:51.000 Holy shit. 0.99

03:05:51.000 Read the next paragraph. 0.99

03:05:53.000 Also, Pete Davidson's notch list.

03:05:56.000 God bless him, dude.

03:05:57.000 Fellow beach boy Brian Wilson would later describe coming to dinner at Dennis's place and seeing him with Manson and a bunch of Manson girls all naked.

03:06:06.000 An LSD orgy followed dinner and when he declined to take part and just went for a shower, a naked Charles tried to join him there and warned him that leaving the group was not an option.

03:06:18.000 Wow. 1.00

03:06:19.000 You're fucking us. 1.00

03:06:20.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:06:22.000 Leaving the group was not an option.

03:06:24.000 No showers. 1.00

03:06:25.000 You're fucking us. 1.00

03:06:25.000 Oh my god. 1.00

03:06:27.000 Yeah, and then the first thing... 1.00

03:06:29.000 Imagine Charles Manson in your house with a boner telling you it's time to fuck. 1.00

03:06:35.000 Get down here. 1.00

03:06:36.000 This is not an option.

03:06:38.000 Come on.

03:06:39.000 It's not an option.

03:06:40.000 Yeah, but what it was, I think, like...

03:06:44.000 Well, look at this.

03:06:46.000 Brian got the hell out of the house that night, but Dennis stayed behind, of course, and for a while he seemed trapped.

03:06:51.000 The family occupied his home for months, racking up close to a million dollars in expenses in today's money, including a large amount just on STD treatments.

03:07:02.000 Dennis publicly spoke highly of Manson and said he was happy that the family were relieving him of the burden of wealth, which sounds truly like something only a cult member would say.

03:07:11.000 They were relieving him of the burden?

03:07:12.000 You could just give it away.

03:07:13.000 Wow.

03:07:14.000 And then the guy that usually ended up at Sharon Tate's was, I guess it was the producer that...

03:07:20.000 I think that Dennis guy was eventually like, okay, man, I'll try to get you a record deal.

03:07:24.000 And took it to whoever this producer was.

03:07:26.000 And the producer was like...

03:07:28.000 I think he was like not interested and then moved the next day.

03:07:31.000 Oh my god.

03:07:32.000 And so they went to the wrong house.

03:07:33.000 Yeah, he wasn't there to kill like Sharon Tate and then they just killed everybody in the house.

03:07:37.000 Jesus Christ.

03:07:37.000 That's so spooky.

03:07:38.000 He was like kill whoever's- Oh no, was that- Yeah, that was them. 0.99

03:07:42.000 Kill everybody in the house. 0.99

03:07:44.000 That was Tex Watson. 0.99

03:07:46.000 Tex Watson was the guy who killed most of the people, right?

03:07:49.000 And then there was Squeaky Fromm who tried to kill Nixon.

03:07:52.000 No, no, Ford.

03:07:53.000 She tried to kill Ford, right?

03:07:55.000 Is she one of the ones you can see her talk now and she's like, yeah, that was a weird decade, huh?

03:08:03.000 Really?

03:08:04.000 Yeah, I think some of them are so like...

03:08:06.000 Well, I know that she kept going up for parole and then I'm like, nah, player.

03:08:10.000 You're a little too wild.

03:08:12.000 There's old ladies now, it's so funny. 1.00

03:08:14.000 Like, yeah, you know.

03:08:15.000 It's the 60s, man.

03:08:17.000 She tried to kill Gerald Ford in 75. See if you can find a video of her talking.

03:08:21.000 Oh, wow.

03:08:22.000 Look.

03:08:23.000 Wow.

03:08:24.000 Not bad.

03:08:27.000 Squeaky front.

03:08:28.000 Oh, she's young.

03:08:29.000 Oh, man.

03:08:31.000 But that's the thing, man, with these LSD cults. 0.96

03:08:35.000 Like, what they were doing was orchestrated.

03:08:37.000 Like, they were trying to figure out what was possible with LSD. And the best way to figure that out was to get someone to do it on a bunch of hippies.

03:08:45.000 And that way you could discredit the movement.

03:08:47.000 At the same time, you could also find out what strategies you can employ to get people to follow you.

03:08:53.000 And can you get people to murder people?

03:08:55.000 If you do this correctly.

03:08:56.000 You can also get it up to... 1.00

03:08:58.000 Fuck those dumpy broads he hung around. 1.00

03:09:01.000 More like squeaky frump. 1.00

03:09:03.000 The CIA, there's real evidence in this book that they ran a clinic in Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco.

03:09:09.000 Dosing people.

03:09:10.000 We know they were dosing people at brothels. 0.90

03:09:14.000 They did it at brothels. 1.00

03:09:16.000 They did this Operation Midnight Climax. 0.98

03:09:18.000 So these guys would go into these whorehouses, try to have sex with the lady, the lady would give them a drink, and the drink would have acid in it. 1.00

03:09:24.000 And they'd be tripping balls through a two-way mirror. 0.99

03:09:27.000 And they would study these guys. 0.86

03:09:29.000 Is this her talking?

03:09:32.000 That's not her, is it?

03:09:33.000 No, the first one I think was her.

03:09:35.000 I thought, well, maybe I'll bring a gun. 0.98

03:09:44.000 And then I said to myself, are you going to shoot him? 0.94

03:09:49.000 And I said, I'm going to go see what's necessary.

03:09:57.000 So I had all these thoughts about what I wanted to accomplish and I just put the gun out and stuck it in there and there was no bullet in the chamber.

03:10:09.000 A Boondorf, a secret service agent, grabbed it and an interesting thing happened.

03:10:17.000 A guy...

03:10:18.000 You see what I mean though?

03:10:20.000 ...high on marijuana.

03:10:24.000 He was wearing a yellow suit.

03:10:28.000 And when they had me on the ground and I was telling them it's okay.

03:10:34.000 It's okay.

03:10:35.000 It didn't go up.

03:10:36.000 It's okay.

03:10:37.000 The guy walked over and he picked up my hand and I was so relaxed.

03:10:45.000 Then he was talking to me and the Secret Service agent said, who are you?

03:10:52.000 He was the guy with the beard.

03:10:54.000 I always wanted to talk to him afterward.

03:10:58.000 Whoa.

03:10:59.000 Yeah, they're so like, they're like, yeah, well, what is everyone doing?

03:11:02.000 Is that lady out of jail, or did they film this in jail like that, which is really creepy if they did?

03:11:07.000 I think she's out of jail.

03:11:08.000 She must be out of jail. 0.95

03:11:09.000 I'm saying out of jail.

03:11:11.000 She must be out of jail. 0.95

03:11:12.000 There's no way...

03:11:13.000 If they wanted to do it in jail, they would make it look like you were in jail.

03:11:16.000 Yeah.

03:11:16.000 That's far the fun.

03:11:16.000 I would just make it look not in jail.

03:11:18.000 Jailhouse interview.

03:11:18.000 They really did go against...

03:11:20.000 100%.

03:11:20.000 Right.

03:11:20.000 Jail clothes.

03:11:21.000 Yeah.

03:11:21.000 So much more fun.

03:11:22.000 Yeah.

03:11:22.000 You want jail clothes.

03:11:23.000 They were against all of the ideas of hippies, though.

03:11:27.000 But wasn't that also sort of the thing?

03:11:30.000 Was they were supposed to be setting people up, right?

03:11:32.000 Like they were gonna go do violent crimes to blame...

03:11:35.000 There's a lot they did. 0.99

03:11:36.000 Black people to start the war. 1.00

03:11:38.000 Yeah, there's a lot they did. 0.97

03:11:39.000 Charles thought he was gonna start a race war.

03:11:40.000 But there's a lot of what they were doing was orchestrated by him giving these people acid and telling them what to do and then him not doing acid.

03:11:49.000 And he was like guiding them.

03:11:51.000 It's really creepy.

03:11:52.000 It's almost wish that before he died he would have told the story of like how all that happened.

03:11:58.000 So he was like, you're not gonna make me make them do this thing.

03:12:01.000 I'll just not take the acid, then I'll make them do whatever I want.

03:12:04.000 Yeah, he would...

03:12:06.000 Look, first of all, those killings, he wasn't involved in those, but he might have killed some people.

03:12:11.000 There's some evidence that he probably killed someone somewhere along the line.

03:12:15.000 And then there was these people that were just lost kids.

03:12:20.000 Lost kids and getting dosed up with acid by a lifetime criminal.

03:12:24.000 A guy who was a con man his whole life.

03:12:26.000 Working in conjunction with the CIA, if that's true. 0.99

03:12:29.000 That is a fucking wild thing that happened. 0.98

03:12:33.000 Yeah. 0.98

03:12:33.000 And that they did it to try to stop the anti-war movement and stop the hippie movement, but we know they did certain things like that. 0.98

03:12:39.000 Like, I had Rick Doblin from Maps on the other day, and he was explaining how the sweeping Schedule I Act of 1970, a lot of it was designed to stop protests and to stop the Black Panthers and to stop all these other people that were doing all these different things, like the anti-war people, because then they could arrest them.

03:12:56.000 They could arrest them for pot.

03:12:57.000 They could arrest them for mushrooms. 1.00

03:12:59.000 They could arrest them, and this is Schedule I shit now. 1.00

03:13:02.000 You're all fucked. 1.00

03:13:02.000 They're going away, yeah. 1.00

03:13:03.000 All the people that thought it was okay to take acid, nope.

03:13:05.000 Now you're going to jail.

03:13:06.000 And they could just round up everybody with these new tactics.

03:13:10.000 Get rid of them.

03:13:10.000 And say, hey, they want acid.

03:13:11.000 And people are like, oh, okay, we've got to get rid of them.

03:13:13.000 Also, people scatter, too.

03:13:14.000 Like, how committed are you to the cause? 0.99

03:13:15.000 If everybody's getting locked up by the government, you get the fuck out of town.

03:13:18.000 You abandon ship and start a real job.

03:13:20.000 A lot of people probably bailed on it.

03:13:22.000 That's what we wanted to do.

03:13:23.000 Many uncredited Manson family members.

03:13:26.000 And they do.

03:13:26.000 They pop up in, like, documentaries.

03:13:27.000 They go, yeah, you can see me in the back of one picture.

03:13:30.000 My name's Cliff.

03:13:32.000 We had a lot of family members.

03:13:34.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

03:13:35.000 There's just some other guy who wasn't there that night. 1.00

03:13:37.000 He goes, no, I was back at the place getting some pussy from this new girl. 1.00

03:13:41.000 I heard they went out and killed somebody. 1.00

03:13:42.000 That's pretty nuts.

03:13:43.000 Yeah, right.

03:13:47.000 What a crazy time, too, right?

03:13:48.000 Because you're relying on newspapers, right?

03:13:51.000 That's where you're getting your information from.

03:13:53.000 And, you know, there's a little briefing on the 5 o'clock news. 0.99

03:13:55.000 Nobody knows what the fuck is going on. 0.98

03:13:57.000 You're hearing word of mouth, right? 1.00

03:13:59.000 And you find out that these people are getting murdered in the Hollywood Hills by hippies. 1.00

03:14:04.000 You're like, what? 0.98

03:14:04.000 We gotta get rid of these hippies. 0.98

03:14:06.000 What? 0.99

03:14:06.000 Exactly. 0.99

03:14:07.000 It's so scary. 1.00

03:14:08.000 Oh my god, they're doing ass and they're murdering people. 1.00

03:14:09.000 It's a perfect plan. 0.99

03:14:10.000 If you really can get a guy like Manson and convince him that he's got to do this for you, and that's why he's free.

03:14:16.000 Like, we have you.

03:14:17.000 You're free.

03:14:18.000 Like, he gets arrested.

03:14:19.000 They get him out. 1.00

03:14:20.000 Look, you owe me, you piece of shit. 1.00

03:14:21.000 You understand me? 1.00

03:14:22.000 Like, and then get him to do these things.

03:14:26.000 Get him to commit crimes. 1.00

03:14:27.000 Get him to murder people. 0.97

03:14:29.000 They were after that Polish artist, right? 0.93

03:14:33.000 Wojciech Wieckowski?

03:14:35.000 Weren't they trying to kill him?

03:14:37.000 Or was he like accidentally at the house?

03:14:41.000 But he got murdered, too.

03:14:43.000 In the Sharon Tate house?

03:14:45.000 Yeah.

03:14:45.000 Everyone in there, it was just like a kill whoever was there.

03:14:49.000 I think Manson found out when they went home that it was like, hey, that producer guy you're pissed off wasn't there.

03:14:55.000 He just moved.

03:14:56.000 Oh, that's right.

03:14:57.000 That's right.

03:14:59.000 So was he trying to get one of the Wilson's?

03:15:01.000 That murder was pissing off by saying the guy who was like, I'm not interested in your music and I don't care.

03:15:07.000 And then he wasn't even there.

03:15:08.000 It seemed like it was Dennis Wilson brought him to, like, okay, fine, like, you know.

03:15:13.000 That's right.

03:15:13.000 You're hooking me up so much, like, here's a producer.

03:15:15.000 And when the producer was, like, not interested, I think he got mad at Dennis Wilson.

03:15:20.000 And Dennis Wilson was like, I can only, like, bring you to the guy.

03:15:23.000 Yeah. 0.83

03:15:23.000 And so his thing was to have them go kill him that night and his family. 0.83

03:15:27.000 Dennis Wilson. 0.98

03:15:28.000 No, this producer.

03:15:30.000 And the producer just happened to move.

03:15:34.000 Wow.

03:15:35.000 Oh my god.

03:15:36.000 Like they caught him on a day that he was moving or his address was listed wrong or something.

03:15:39.000 You know, it was just like...

03:15:40.000 Right.

03:15:41.000 I think you rented the house out, right?

03:15:43.000 Or something like that?

03:15:44.000 Yeah, cuz he said they just moved in and he was like Roman Polanski was off doing whatever. 1.00

03:15:48.000 Fuck. 1.00

03:15:50.000 Doing whatever. 1.00

03:15:51.000 They said that's what killed the 60s, the spirit of the 60s.

03:15:54.000 There was a lot of those things that happened, but it was very orchestrated.

03:15:57.000 Like the fact that they were able to make everything schedule one.

03:16:01.000 We still have those things schedule one.

03:16:02.000 Oh, it's so annoying.

03:16:03.000 It's so long later.

03:16:05.000 It's 50 years later.

03:16:07.000 And those things are still Schedule 1. It doesn't make any sense.

03:16:10.000 Also, 60s, so much young, deaf, and more important to people in society at the time.

03:16:18.000 The 27 Club and all those people kind of going down.

03:16:21.000 That killed the spirit of the 60s, too.

03:16:23.000 You know what I mean?

03:16:23.000 Everyone was just gone.

03:16:24.000 Like, oh, I guess this lifestyle's not good. 0.99

03:16:27.000 Yeah, you're like, this is a fun life of taking drugs and getting acid, and it's like, oh, everyone's fucking dying. 1.00

03:16:34.000 They're fucking killing Beatles. 0.99

03:16:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:16:39.000 They're killing the Beatles.

03:16:40.000 Yeah.

03:16:41.000 When did they kill John?

03:16:42.000 That was 80, though.

03:16:43.000 That was in the 80s.

03:16:44.000 I think it was 1980. Right outside his apartment building.

03:16:47.000 Right outside.

03:16:48.000 Jesus Christ.

03:16:49.000 She still lives there.

03:16:50.000 Jesus Christ.

03:16:52.000 How about Move?

03:16:53.000 Yeah, how about Move?

03:16:54.000 She still lives there?

03:16:55.000 I think so.

03:16:55.000 Or maybe just sold it.

03:16:57.000 Maybe that was like a clever real estate ploy.

03:17:00.000 Yeah, it's worth more now.

03:17:01.000 You know, like American Psycho style?

03:17:03.000 Remember with American Psycho, he goes back to that.

03:17:06.000 It was in the book, too.

03:17:06.000 It's even more graphic.

03:17:07.000 But he goes back to one of his apartments where he left a body, and it's missing.

03:17:11.000 It's all cleaned up.

03:17:12.000 It's all cleaned up, and the real estate agent's looking at him very funny.

03:17:15.000 So what are you doing here?

03:17:17.000 What does it say?

03:17:18.000 She still lives in the apartment building along with her son, Sean.

03:17:21.000 Wow.

03:17:22.000 That's weird.

03:17:23.000 It's probably a dope apartment.

03:17:24.000 Sean Lennon's like 45 years old now.

03:17:26.000 Yeah.

03:17:26.000 It's probably a dope apartment.

03:17:27.000 She lives with his mom.

03:17:28.000 Maybe they enjoy it.

03:17:29.000 Is that okay, Ari?

03:17:30.000 It's not, is what I'm saying.

03:17:32.000 No.

03:17:32.000 He doesn't like bringing girls home.

03:17:35.000 I have to imagine he breastfeeds still.

03:17:37.000 Maybe.

03:17:38.000 He's like the chubby DJ one, right?

03:17:40.000 He's at the world record, we didn't know it.

03:17:41.000 All this time, that's what's been going on.

03:17:43.000 I love those ones.

03:17:44.000 He's been going for the Guinness Book.

03:17:45.000 Of longest breastfeedings.

03:17:48.000 What is the Guinness Book of longest time breastfeeding?

03:17:53.000 Someone's gotta be 18. Not an individual session, but I mean, like, when did you stop?

03:17:56.000 Keep it going.

03:17:57.000 Stop lactating.

03:17:58.000 Because it's weird when you hear about kids that are five and you're like, what?

03:18:01.000 What happened?

03:18:03.000 He's how old? 0.95

03:18:04.000 If they keep sucking, it will eventually stop on its own. 0.98

03:18:08.000 It'll keep going. 0.99

03:18:09.000 I think it'll keep going. 1.00

03:18:12.000 We're so dumb. 0.99

03:18:13.000 I don't know. 1.00

03:18:14.000 We're so dumb. 0.99

03:18:14.000 We don't know. 0.99

03:18:15.000 I would imagine it would probably help keep it going, but eventually your body would be like, bitch, you had a baby five years ago. 1.00

03:18:21.000 Like, what are we doing? 0.98

03:18:22.000 Is there anything legal that can get involved if your mother, when you were 17, was like, he still drinks from the...

03:18:29.000 Do you get arrested?

03:18:31.000 Is that sexual at that point?

03:18:32.000 At a certain point in time, right?

03:18:32.000 You say this is not sexual at all.

03:18:34.000 They broke breastfeeding records.

03:18:36.000 Breastfeed their children and are 13. Shut the fuck up. 1.00

03:18:39.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

03:18:40.000 What? 1.00

03:18:42.000 Until their children are 13. Wow.

03:18:45.000 Until their children are teenagers.

03:18:48.000 They can do crossovers.

03:18:49.000 That seems a little insane. 0.99

03:18:51.000 12 year olds are pretty fucking smart. 0.99

03:18:52.000 They know that's weird. 0.99

03:18:53.000 Hey mom, I'm getting ready to learn my Bar Mitzvah Haftura.

03:18:56.000 Oh, the kid's going through puberty.

03:18:59.000 Wow.

03:19:00.000 Look at this.

03:19:00.000 Her son, Mason, is already going through puberty.

03:19:03.000 But for this duo, there's no reason to end their breastfeeding relationship.

03:19:07.000 They have had many occasions where people have said things to them or gave them dirty looks. 0.98

03:19:12.000 Was he sucking on her tit at the airport? 0.99

03:19:14.000 It's going to be odd. 0.99

03:19:15.000 It's going to be odd for people.

03:19:16.000 Well, her son, we're in line at a movie theater waiting to purchase their tickets and decided it was time for a breastfeeding session.

03:19:22.000 That's just showing off. 1.00

03:19:24.000 Holy shit! 1.00

03:19:25.000 That's showing off. 1.00

03:19:26.000 That's big dicking. 0.98

03:19:26.000 Come on, go to the bathroom. 0.98

03:19:27.000 It is not surprising that people found it to be a little awkward.

03:19:30.000 The ticket clerk shouted at her from behind the desk.

03:19:35.000 Oh my god.

03:19:44.000 That she needed to stop doing that.

03:19:46.000 Mullen became angry because of his comment and told him, I am a mother and I have every right to feed my child in public.

03:19:53.000 Furthermore, lots of women are afraid to breastfeed in public now. 1.00

03:19:57.000 That's not the same thing.

03:19:59.000 Oh my god.

03:19:59.000 I love it.

03:20:00.000 13-year-old kid.

03:20:01.000 Oh my god.

03:20:02.000 That's so weird!

03:20:03.000 If I saw a lady... 1.00

03:20:06.000 If I saw a lady, a 13-year-old boy going into one of those pods at the airport to breastfeed, I'd rather find out he's fucking her. 1.00

03:20:12.000 Yeah, for sure. 1.00

03:20:14.000 I would be less disturbed than if it was his mom and he's sucking on his mom's tit. 1.00

03:20:19.000 Right? 1.00

03:20:20.000 That's the Oedipus thing.

03:20:22.000 How do you go to school?

03:20:23.000 That's homeschooling for sure.

03:20:25.000 You can't go to school and...

03:20:26.000 You're gonna get a boner at that age.

03:20:28.000 That's one of the weirdest things that...

03:20:32.000 A mother's son.

03:20:33.000 You know in Bonobos? 1.00

03:20:34.000 Bonobos fuck everybody. 1.00

03:20:35.000 Everybody fucks everybody. 1.00

03:20:36.000 But the mothers won't fuck their sons. 1.00

03:20:38.000 Interesting. 1.00

03:20:39.000 Everyone's got a line. 0.99

03:20:41.000 Everybody fucks everybody. 1.00

03:20:42.000 Dads fuck all their kids. 1.00

03:20:44.000 They fuck their brother. 1.00

03:20:44.000 They fuck their sister. 1.00

03:20:45.000 They fuck everybody. 1.00

03:20:46.000 But the mothers are like, get the fuck away from me. 1.00

03:20:49.000 The aristocrats. 1.00

03:20:53.000 Shall we?

03:20:54.000 Let's wrap this up.

03:20:55.000 Yeah.

03:20:56.000 Jay, congratulations on your special. 0.99

03:20:57.000 You're fucking hilarious. 0.98

03:20:58.000 I'm very excited to work with you tonight. 0.99

03:21:01.000 We're going to have a good time.

03:21:02.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

03:21:02.000 Ari, we're going to have a good fucking time. 1.00

03:21:03.000 Doing my storytelling show tonight? 0.99

03:21:04.000 Yes, sir.

03:21:05.000 That's going to be great.

03:21:07.000 All right.

03:21:08.000 Anything else to plug other than the specials on YouTube?

03:21:11.000 It's available right now.

03:21:12.000 Available right now.

03:21:13.000 My first production credit for stand-up. 0.99

03:21:15.000 What the fuck did you just say? 0.99

03:21:16.000 Those words, they fluted up. 1.00

03:21:18.000 I don't even remember.

03:21:21.000 YouTube.com slash Big J Oakerson.

03:21:22.000 There you go.

03:21:23.000 There we go.

03:21:24.000 Slow down.

03:21:25.000 Look at that.

03:21:26.000 You look beautiful up there.

03:21:27.000 Yeah, Ari jumped in, man. 1.00

03:21:29.000 It was pretty amazing.

03:21:32.000 He helped so much, so I hope he's proud of it.

03:21:34.000 I am very proud of it, dude. 0.99

03:21:35.000 You killed. 0.96

03:21:36.000 It was great. 0.91

03:21:37.000 Yeah, I'm excited for y'all to see it, man.

03:21:39.000 Please tell friends.

03:21:40.000 Share it.

03:21:41.000 Beautiful.

03:21:42.000 Comment.

03:21:43.000 I think that's gonna love it.

03:21:44.000 Thank you so much.

03:21:45.000 My pleasure, brother.

03:21:46.000 Bye.

03:21:47.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 05, 2023

Joe Rogan Experience #1966 - Big Jay Oakerson & Ari Shaffir

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