The Joe Rogan Experience - December 29, 2009


Joe Rogan Experience #2 - Brian Redban

Topics
weed in California one world government Showgirls and Roadhouse farts stem cell bladder transplant horrors free will dirty nick people witchcraft trips asteroid impacts anthillocalypse drug questions flushable wipes living in Colorado pregnancy and altitude in Colorado pipe tomahawks fanny packs Jersey Shore starving artist solar flares are going to do us in
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Brian Redban
Mentioned
Brian Alex Jones The Mark Hayden Ron Paul Charlie Sheen Brett Rogers Tiger Woods Kevin Smith Joey Diaz Obama Little Jimmy Anthony Bourdain Magic Johnson Jesse Ventura Cat Williams Boba Fett Red Cloud Dude Rupert Sheldrake Terrence McKenna and 81 more
Joe Rogan Experience #1 - Brian Redban JRE MMA Show #3 with Brendan Schaub

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 32 minutes

Words per minute

179.13

Word count

27,231

Sentence count

3,101

Harmful content

Misogyny

112

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,048

sentences flagged

Hate speech

112

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the new Batman mask, 9/11, and how the government is going to take over the world. We also talk about Alex Jones and why he should be kicked off the air. And of course, we answer your questions. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! or wherever else you get your stuff, and don't forget to leave us a rating and review so we can keep giving you the best quality streaming experience possible. Thanks again for listening and Happy Holidays from The Crew at 1229 Ustream! XOXO, Joey and Batman! 1229 is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. All rights reserved. No credit given to creators, owners, or agents. This episode was produced and edited by our own Joey Diaz. Please do not own any of the music used in this episode unless otherwise stated. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our respective record labels, unless otherwise specified. We are not affiliated with any of our record labels or licensed record labels. Thank you for any amount you can manage to provide your own sound quality, we are not responsible for the sound quality or any other third-party services provided by our labels, other than those provided to us. . We do not claim ownership of any of this material. I am not compensated for this content. All credit given is solely to our patrons' discretion and permission given. by the respective record label, and all credit given by the record labels and other than that of their respective recorders. It is their own discretion and other third party owners. If they choose to use this content, we do not otherwise be compensated for their own use of this work, we have no responsibility to provide their fair use of such credit or such other compensation, other such compensation. or such such compensation, etc., etc. , etc. Thank you, etc. in any way, etc, etc.. etc. etc. We are in no way whatsoever, etc... I have no claim to any other credit, etc except that which is owed to any third party or other such thing, etc etc. by the credit card or such. etc.. etc. I am working with any other person in any of my work, etc.... we are working with a third party, etc . etc etc

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Stop recording.
00:00:00.000 BAM! It's happening right now, bitches.
00:00:04.000 It says off-air, though, look. 0.99
00:00:06.000 Hmm?
00:00:07.000 It says off-air.
00:00:09.000 Oh, well, you have to refresh that screen.
00:00:11.000 Hang on.
00:00:12.000 I see it.
00:00:13.000 Too high already.
00:00:25.000 All right, here we go. 1.00
00:00:28.000 We're live, bitches. 1.00
00:00:29.000 It's me and Batman. 1.00
00:00:31.000 I got Batman with me, so don't fuck around. 0.99
00:00:34.000 This is some new show, everybody, what this is. 0.99
00:00:37.000 This is some new badass jacket that you can get that allows you to also be a robber.
00:00:44.000 You can be a bank robber, and you don't even have to wear a ski mask and look suspicious. 1.00
00:00:48.000 This is like a mask that comes with this fucking thing. 1.00
00:00:55.000 Show everybody. 1.00
00:00:57.000 Show everybody.
00:00:59.000 How dope is that?
00:01:01.000 It turns into the hood.
00:01:02.000 It's a hood, but it's a mask.
00:01:04.000 So, in these hard economic times...
00:01:07.000 Why is this...
00:01:10.000 Is there another version?
00:01:22.000 This is the girl that died.
00:01:24.000 That snored that giant line of candy.
00:01:27.000 Oh, really?
00:01:28.000 I don't really know if she died, but people on the internet are saying she died.
00:01:32.000 Alright. 0.99
00:01:34.000 What's up, bitches? 1.00
00:01:36.000 How's everybody doing? 0.99
00:01:37.000 We got, uh, two things going on here.
00:01:39.000 We got this, uh, this, um, Twitter thing, where you can, um, if you Twitter your questions, we'll answer your questions for that.
00:01:48.000 Or, if you go to, uh, my website, which is, uh, forums.joerogan.net.
00:01:59.000 What? 1.00
00:02:00.000 People ask a bunch of dumbass fucking questions. 1.00
00:02:03.000 Goddammit, this is... 1.00
00:02:05.000 Fella.
00:02:06.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:02:07.000 I hate that dude.
00:02:10.000 Alright, he apologized. 0.79
00:02:11.000 That's all good.
00:02:12.000 Alright. 1.00
00:02:13.000 What's happening, fuckers? 1.00
00:02:15.000 What's going on? 1.00
00:02:16.000 Give me some questions.
00:02:17.000 Some good ones.
00:02:22.000 How many bong hits tonight?
00:02:24.000 We haven't taken any bong hits.
00:02:26.000 We've only used a little pipe that somebody gave me.
00:02:31.000 No bong hits. 0.98
00:02:32.000 Bitches. 1.00
00:02:35.000 Bong hits for Jesus. 1.00
00:02:39.000 Is that Alex Jones?
00:02:41.000 Where?
00:02:42.000 A microphone.
00:02:44.000 Where?
00:02:44.000 On the left.
00:02:45.000 This?
00:02:47.000 It's not really Alex, though.
00:02:48.000 He doesn't do it.
00:02:49.000 Somebody does it for him.
00:02:50.000 Well, I don't know who's doing it, but they're doing a really good job getting out the information.
00:02:55.000 Can you imagine what his Christmas dinner was like?
00:02:58.000 He had Charlie Sheen to talk about.
00:03:00.000 He had terrorism to talk about.
00:03:02.000 Somehow they connected with each other.
00:03:04.000 Yeah, he'll probably have something.
00:03:07.000 Well, Charlie didn't do anything.
00:03:10.000 It's the government who doesn't want Charlie out there talking about 9-11.
00:03:15.000 I'm half Joey Diaz, half Alex Jones.
00:03:17.000 He knows that.
00:03:19.000 I'm too high, ladies and gentlemen.
00:03:20.000 I'm too high to be doing this show. 0.98
00:03:21.000 This is ridiculous. 0.99
00:03:24.000 The weed that they have here in California is just too goddamn strong, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
00:03:29.000 It's medical. 1.00
00:03:30.000 You can just buy it from a fucking store. 1.00
00:03:32.000 Shit is outrageous. 1.00
00:03:35.000 And that's Trainwreck. 1.00
00:03:36.000 That's one of the best ones you can get.
00:03:38.000 I don't like how you guys are looking down at me.
00:03:40.000 It makes me uncomfortable.
00:03:41.000 I wish we were looking eye to eye on the same level.
00:03:44.000 I'm going to have to set this up so that we're looking eye to eye.
00:03:47.000 It feels weird looking up at that thing.
00:03:49.000 You need a smaller monitor.
00:03:50.000 I can trade you.
00:03:51.000 You're so nice.
00:03:54.000 Alright, questions, questions, questions.
00:03:59.000 Let's go to the Rogan board we're going to go to.
00:04:02.000 to forums.joerogan.net to the official 1229 Ustream podcast thread where the questions are not limited to a gay 140 characters. 1.00
00:04:12.000 That shit's ridiculous. 0.99
00:04:15.000 Do you think there will be one world government in our life and how do you think it will actually affect us? 1.00
00:04:20.000 I think that's possible.
00:04:22.000 It's very possible. 0.99
00:04:22.000 If they can get the money sorted out between all these fucking scumbags that run these world governments, yeah, they would all agree to one gigantic system of government. 0.99
00:04:30.000 The problem with one gigantic system of government is that even though it would be harder for corruption, it would be... 0.99
00:04:35.000 It's also harder to keep people in line because you have to have enemies. 0.99
00:04:39.000 You have to have, like, you know, the Turks hate the fucking Iranians hate this, hate the that. 0.99
00:04:45.000 If you don't have that conflict, it's very difficult to keep people in line. 0.99
00:04:48.000 You know, and if we were all the United States of America, then we'd start arguing about money.
00:04:52.000 We'd start arguing about taxes.
00:04:54.000 We'd start arguing...
00:04:54.000 Even if we're all one thing, it makes it very difficult to do.
00:04:57.000 But as far as, like, giant international banks, They might already be in cahoots or close enough to one world government.
00:05:04.000 I mean, there might be like a few that are really pulling the strings and running things, but I mean...
00:05:08.000 You know what would be cool is the future of the government was just the internet.
00:05:11.000 So every time you wanted to vote, it was just like going on a message board and voting.
00:05:14.000 Like, hey, should we have legal insurance?
00:05:17.000 Vote now.
00:05:18.000 That would be pretty cool.
00:05:19.000 Because it would be like for the people.
00:05:20.000 Then people would hack it.
00:05:23.000 It's all good on paper, but anything that you do on the internet now, like dudes who play poker, you never know if you're playing poker against a real dude.
00:05:30.000 You could usually be playing poker against a computer, right?
00:05:33.000 I mean, I don't know what kind of programs they run, but it seems to me like at this point in time, people can hack just about anything.
00:05:38.000 I mean, there's programs like, that's the problem with these drones that they have.
00:05:43.000 You heard about this?
00:05:44.000 Right.
00:05:44.000 Those drones?
00:05:45.000 Kids are hacking into the drones.
00:05:47.000 Like the airplanes, the drones that check the borders and stuff.
00:05:51.000 Yeah, well, they don't just check borders.
00:05:52.000 They launch missiles.
00:05:54.000 Right. 0.99
00:05:54.000 They have these fucking things, these drones that shoot these things called hellfire missiles. 0.99
00:05:58.000 And they use them in Pakistan and all these places where we're not really supposed to be. 0.99
00:06:01.000 And they just fly in and jack people.
00:06:04.000 Well, the insurgents...
00:06:06.000 Have figured out how to hack the code and actually view the monitor. 1.00
00:06:10.000 It's crazy shit, man. 1.00
00:06:12.000 Speaking of crazy shit, I really do have to take a shit. 1.00
00:06:15.000 We plan this out best. 1.00
00:06:16.000 I'm gonna take a shit and Brian's gonna answer questions. 0.98
00:06:18.000 And that's a $29 program that they use just to hack our videos. 0.99
00:06:26.000 There's a toilet in his office.
00:06:32.000 What is your opinion?
00:06:36.000 Let's go back to Twitter.
00:06:38.000 Joe doesn't make the extract Listerine package It's actually one of the products that's sold here in California.
00:06:55.000 When you have a medical marijuana license, you can go to a store and they sell the Listerine at the store.
00:07:01.000 It looks like Listerine strips.
00:07:03.000 So no, he doesn't make them himself.
00:07:08.000 Joe has not seen Avatar yet.
00:07:09.000 We're the last two people to see Avatar.
00:07:13.000 And we're supposed to see it this week.
00:07:15.000 It's pretty annoying not being the last one to see it.
00:07:27.000 Underwear bomber was staged.
00:07:29.000 Any thoughts?
00:07:31.000 I have no idea what that means.
00:07:32.000 The dude from the airplane?
00:07:35.000 He was staged?
00:07:36.000 UNDERCOVERED! You guys probably didn't hear that but he thinks it's pretty ridiculous how one guy did all that and that's how bad our security is and now shit's all fucked up from that one dude. 1.00
00:08:06.000 Yeah, security lines are five hours long now. 0.98
00:08:08.000 Right.
00:08:09.000 One guy.
00:08:10.000 It shows you how fragile the system is.
00:08:15.000 Joe is not, we're not reading the chat on Ustream.
00:08:18.000 Joe is only doing the Twitter, so if you want to have a message, Joe will answer it if you put it on Twitter, or Joe Rogan's website, which is forums.joerogan.net. 0.65
00:08:29.000 He's taking a shit right now, so he'll be right back. 0.85
00:08:32.000 So, It's the coffee. 0.99
00:08:37.000 Sorry, it's the Starbucks coffee.
00:08:43.000 Let's see, let's go back to the...
00:08:50.000 Alright, I'm going to go read some messages on Joey's website.
00:09:04.000 Forums.joerogan.net.
00:09:06.000 Joe would be right back.
00:09:08.000 Let's go.
00:09:20.000 Almost 300. 300.
00:09:37.000 All right.
00:09:39.000 All right.
00:10:10.000 I have the Dark Vader Mark Echo sweatshirt also.
00:10:15.000 But yeah, that Boba Fett one's pretty sweet.
00:10:21.000 I have realized, though, it's pretty gay when you're by yourself and not with friends with these sweatshirts. 0.58
00:10:30.000 There's the Boba Fett one.
00:10:32.000 Oh, sweet.
00:10:34.000 Yeah, you know, I think Mark Layman had one of those, and he wore it to the UFC. Mark Layman is a comic book nerd and a jiu-jitsu friend.
00:10:43.000 He teaches a lot of guys who fight in the MMA world.
00:10:48.000 He teaches them jiu-jitsu, and he's a big video game junkie, and he had a Boba Fett one on.
00:10:55.000 He's pretty dope.
00:10:56.000 Pretty dope! 1.00
00:10:59.000 All right.
00:11:00.000 Questions.
00:11:01.000 Questions from the Twitter world.
00:11:03.000 This is my Twitter tweet deck.
00:11:04.000 I couldn't get to refresh it.
00:11:05.000 I think it's the API thing again.
00:11:07.000 So you might want to close that and use the Ustream one only.
00:11:09.000 Okay.
00:11:13.000 Oh, I see.
00:11:14.000 It's not closed yet.
00:11:15.000 Let's just shut off.
00:11:16.000 I always forget that.
00:11:17.000 All right.
00:11:24.000 Twitter on Ustream. 0.99
00:11:26.000 Let's go with the questions here, bitches. 1.00
00:11:32.000 When am I back in Ireland? 0.97
00:11:33.000 I'm not going to be back in Ireland until the UFC is back in Ireland.
00:11:36.000 It's not financially feasible for me to make those trips without the UFC to the UK.
00:11:42.000 But every time I'm there, if there's a show, if we're doing a UFC in Ireland, for sure I'll be doing stand-up comedy there.
00:11:48.000 They could hear the voice.
00:11:57.000 They could hear me.
00:11:58.000 Did you hear me take a dump?
00:11:59.000 It was so strong.
00:12:00.000 I couldn't resist it.
00:12:01.000 I knew I had to go.
00:12:03.000 I didn't want to.
00:12:04.000 I wanted to be able to just man up and push through the whole Ustream, but I was like, I'm going to do a bad job because I'm going to just be thinking about this dump I have to take.
00:12:14.000 So what were we talking about before I took off?
00:12:16.000 off because it was kind of important stuff.
00:12:18.000 I think the one more thing is the Oh, that was the first question.
00:12:28.000 One world government in our lifetime.
00:12:30.000 I don't know, man.
00:12:32.000 I had a lot more faith before Obama got elected, I'll tell you that.
00:12:35.000 I thought that maybe what we had was a corrupt situation, and that Bush and Cheney were corrupt, and that if we got somebody else in there, maybe they could straighten everything out.
00:12:43.000 But after Obama got elected, man, it became pretty clear to me that someone else besides the president obviously is pulling the strings.
00:12:52.000 Obama didn't want to send more troops.
00:12:55.000 Obama didn't want to go to Afghanistan to bring more people to Afghanistan.
00:12:58.000 He wanted to pull out of Guantanamo Bay and close Guantanamo Bay down. 1.00
00:13:02.000 All that shit, but I don't think he gets to say what the fuck they do. 1.00
00:13:07.000 Or he was just saying that kind of shit to get elected. 1.00
00:13:10.000 You know, I mean, the old Bill Hicks joke comes to mind. 0.99
00:13:13.000 You know, that American politics is...
00:13:15.000 You know, I like the puppet on the right.
00:13:17.000 Well, I find the puppet to the left to be more to my liking.
00:13:21.000 Hey, wait a minute.
00:13:22.000 There's one guy holding both puppets.
00:13:23.000 I think it's very...
00:13:24.000 What are you doing?
00:13:25.000 Oh, it's not doing anything.
00:13:26.000 I'm just... 0.67
00:13:26.000 I know, but you're distracting the shit out of me. 0.67
00:13:28.000 You're closing the screen. 0.99
00:13:30.000 You're moving shit around. 1.00
00:13:31.000 Fucking psycho. 1.00
00:13:32.000 He's a tweaker, but not like the meth kind, like he has to tweak things. 1.00
00:13:36.000 I'm like, hmm, let's optimize my internet.
00:13:38.000 He's the kind of dude that hacks into his registry to make his internet like one KBH faster.
00:13:44.000 You're one of those dudes, right?
00:13:45.000 Do you remember when computers first came out?
00:13:47.000 I had the friend that said that he could hack into the library and get rid of all the doofies and stuff like that.
00:13:53.000 I always wondered if that was real or if he would just pull my leg up.
00:13:56.000 Well, definitely there were some systems that you could hack into if you were a wizard. 0.99
00:14:00.000 Well, Mitnick did a lot of shit with phone calls, right? 0.96
00:14:05.000 Didn't get information from people. 0.99
00:14:07.000 It wasn't even that he was this great hacker, it was just he was kind of like a con man.
00:14:11.000 By the way, did you read that they just...
00:14:14.000 Hacked the 21-year-old code that scrambles our phone calls on cell phones.
00:14:22.000 So now, and the guys, the hackers, put it on the internet so anyone could have it.
00:14:26.000 So now, I mean, of course, it's probably not going to happen to us anytime soon, but now there's actually people that have the code that they can listen to your phone calls. 0.98
00:14:37.000 Holy shit. 0.95
00:14:38.000 But it's a 21-year-old code. 0.97
00:14:40.000 It's like a 64-bit code.
00:14:42.000 I think that's where the world is headed to.
00:14:44.000 I think that's the future.
00:14:47.000 The future is there's not going to be any private information.
00:14:50.000 I think what we're seeing with this Tiger Woods thing...
00:14:53.000 I think we're seeing the future of things to come.
00:14:56.000 I mean, with him, it's obviously that he's a celebrity.
00:14:58.000 But the way that everybody is swarming after this information.
00:15:02.000 Me too, man. 0.97
00:15:03.000 I can't fucking put down on Us Weekly. 0.96
00:15:05.000 If I see Us Weekly at the market and there's some new Tiger Wins information, I grab that. 0.98
00:15:08.000 I can't fucking help it. 0.97
00:15:10.000 You know? 0.97
00:15:10.000 Well, I think eventually there's not going to be any secrets. 0.97
00:15:15.000 I think eventually we're going to get to a point where the way information is being distributed is changing the way we feel about information.
00:15:22.000 I mean, with celebrities, it's one thing.
00:15:26.000 We're looking at it like, well, these are famous people.
00:15:29.000 It's like they give up that right.
00:15:31.000 Once you start putting yourself in the public eye, you give up that right to privacy.
00:15:35.000 Well, eventually that's going to happen.
00:15:37.000 It's happening with Facebook accounts too. 1.00
00:15:39.000 Girls are doing stupid shit in their Facebook accounts and it gets all the internet. 1.00
00:15:42.000 And they go, well, she gave up her right when she put it on Facebook. 1.00
00:15:46.000 It's like that new Google Goggles where you can just take a photo of anything and it figures out what it is and then searches it for you.
00:15:54.000 So you can now go to a – if you see a can of pop, you can take a picture of it.
00:16:00.000 It knows what it is, Googles it.
00:16:01.000 it, but it's starting to get where you can do flowers and plants and anything.
00:16:07.000 So pretty soon everything's going to be Google searched.
00:16:10.000 So there is no privacy.
00:16:12.000 So while I'm here, I could ...
00:16:14.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:16:16.000 I mean, eventually, I'm sure that shit is going to make its way into your house. 0.99
00:16:20.000 Well, it already is. 0.99
00:16:21.000 Google Goggles came out on the Android.
00:16:24.000 You're going to search someone's house.
00:16:25.000 Take a photo and you'll be able to go, oh, this guy lives at 97 Woodcrest Road in Columbia.
00:16:32.000 Five years ago, you put a picture on your Facebook, a Christmas photo that has your bookshelf in the background.
00:16:37.000 Now, present day, that's going to start researching every single book that's on your shelf and it's going to put in a database somewhere and a GPS location.
00:16:46.000 You know what I mean?
00:16:46.000 When you're searching for something, you're going to be like, oh, Joe has that book at home.
00:16:50.000 I think what's happening with Twitter and what's happening with Facebook and what's happening with just the internet in general is there's way more connectivity between all human beings and a part of that is access to information.
00:17:04.000 So that information is not going to be like it is now.
00:17:06.000 It's not going to be private.
00:17:07.000 I think eventually technology will come to the point where lying will be absolutely impossible and you will know everything that everybody else knows.
00:17:16.000 And everyone's going to try to hold back on it for a while because people have a lot of dirty secrets. 0.99
00:17:20.000 They do a lot of creepy shit. 0.99
00:17:22.000 But I think ultimately it's probably going to be good for everybody. 1.00
00:17:25.000 I do think that that's where we're headed.
00:17:27.000 I think we're headed to a point where everybody has access to All the information that everybody else has.
00:17:33.000 And not just like you go on the internet and you search for it.
00:17:36.000 Not like in a rudimentary way where you have to actively look for it.
00:17:39.000 I think it's going to be right there.
00:17:40.000 I think they're going to eventually get to a point where there's some sort of technology that's created that allows...
00:17:47.000 Human minds to interface with other human minds.
00:17:51.000 I think that's definitely where this is all going.
00:17:53.000 I mean, when there's talk of neural implants and all these different things, people think that's all crazy, but that's a small step from where we are in comparison to where we were just a couple hundred years ago. 0.98
00:18:04.000 I mean, a couple hundred years ago, The fastest mode of transportation was riding a fucking animal. 0.98
00:18:09.000 Think about that. 1.00
00:18:11.000 300 years ago, the fastest shit on land is to ride an animal. 0.99
00:18:16.000 Or have an animal pull you behind something with wheels. 1.00
00:18:19.000 Or a slave. 0.86
00:18:20.000 Yeah, but slaves can't run as fast as animals. 0.94
00:18:22.000 Some of those guys can.
00:18:23.000 No way.
00:18:24.000 Not a horse. 1.00
00:18:24.000 This guy's an idiot. 1.00
00:18:26.000 Can't even believe I'm doing this. 1.00
00:18:29.000 But, I mean, think about what a monumental leap between the transference of information today in 2009 and in 1709. I mean, think about what we can do right now.
00:18:39.000 We can send a fucking picture across... 0.99
00:18:42.000 You know, space. 1.00
00:18:43.000 Send it through the air and it literally arrives.
00:18:46.000 I mean, if I have a friend in the UK and I want to send him a picture and a text message, I can take the picture, send it, and it gets to him.
00:18:54.000 Whoop!
00:18:55.000 Just like that. 0.99
00:18:55.000 I mean, that's fucking incredible. 0.99
00:18:58.000 I mean, it literally will get there in seconds. 0.97
00:19:00.000 We don't even – we can't even fathom how nuts that is because we do it all the time.
00:19:06.000 What's coming next is going to make that seem like riding a horse.
00:19:10.000 That's what's happening.
00:19:12.000 That's what I think is happening.
00:19:13.000 That's what I think is this whole...
00:19:16.000 This rush for information that everybody has.
00:19:18.000 This insane desire that human beings have for the newest, greatest, latest technology.
00:19:24.000 Even when you don't need it.
00:19:26.000 People are always trying to...
00:19:27.000 Pump up their computers.
00:19:28.000 The only reason why you need a pumped up computer really is to play video games or if you're crunching video, like he needs stuff like that when he makes videos just for raw computing power.
00:19:39.000 But the average person is not crunching videos.
00:19:41.000 We've hit a wall in computers in general.
00:19:44.000 You really don't need Even the fastest computers now, the video programs aren't even...
00:19:50.000 Yeah, that's why everybody's into those little netbooks. 1.00
00:19:53.000 Those netbooks are the shit. 1.00
00:19:54.000 Except for watching HD videos. 1.00
00:19:56.000 Right, yeah. 0.97
00:19:57.000 And that kind of sucks. 0.73
00:19:59.000 And you can't load a CD into it either, a DVD, right?
00:20:01.000 Yeah, but that technology is talking about the floppy drive right before the floppy drive left.
00:20:06.000 CDs and DVDs are out the door.
00:20:08.000 Even Blu-rays have such a small shelf life.
00:20:11.000 Do you think it's ever gonna get to a point where bandwidth will be so broad and like mobile functions, like laptops and phones, like those little mobile cards, it'll be so powerful that it'll be just like your home?
00:20:22.000 Oh, it's totally.
00:20:23.000 It's gonna be all that pretty soon.
00:20:25.000 So it'll basically be like everything will be broadband. 0.84
00:20:27.000 Do we even know what the fuck that is doing to human beings? 0.81
00:20:31.000 You know?
00:20:32.000 They talk about cell phones causing radiation.
00:20:36.000 One week they say it's bad, one week they say it's okay.
00:20:39.000 Do you think that it's possible that that's altering human beings?
00:20:43.000 Giving kids autism, probably.
00:20:45.000 It might be that. 1.00
00:20:48.000 It might also be fucking with bees. 1.00
00:20:49.000 There's been speculation that it's been fucking with bees. 0.99
00:20:52.000 And there's also been speculation that it's some crazy virus. 0.99
00:20:55.000 I've read that as well.
00:20:55.000 But there's also been speculation that Wi-Fi signals and cell phone signals that it fucks with bees' ability to transmit.
00:21:02.000 We did a thing for Fear Factor once with bees, man, and it was a fucking trip because this guy was a beekeeper and he had all these bees that he brought with him.
00:21:10.000 So the stunt was these dudes, they had to be strapped to this pole. 0.91
00:21:15.000 We strapped them to the pole and then we'd cover them with bees and they'd have to stand there for like five minutes. 0.88
00:21:19.000 They were getting fucked up because every now and then the bees would argue or something and they'd sting the dude and it was bad. 0.96
00:21:24.000 They got stung up. 0.95
00:21:25.000 Well, while this was all going on, while this guy's tending to these bees and caring for these bees, a local swarm of bees came in.
00:21:33.000 So our bees and their bees were talking it out.
00:21:37.000 And we had to back up.
00:21:38.000 Everybody had to get off the set, we had to close down the set, we had to close down the stunt, and everybody had to move back.
00:21:43.000 And the beekeeper's saying, we've got, you know, a local, local band of bees has moved in.
00:21:48.000 I forget what he calls them.
00:21:49.000 I didn't, a hive or, I don't know.
00:21:51.000 But that's like a...
00:21:52.000 I don't know, whatever.
00:21:53.000 A local band of bees had moved in to sort it out with these bees. 0.98
00:21:57.000 So our bees and their bees were just this fucking swarm in the sky. 0.97
00:22:02.000 And they were fighting. 0.99
00:22:03.000 They were just talking.
00:22:04.000 Like, so what's up?
00:22:05.000 What are you guys doing?
00:22:05.000 Oh, working for Fear Factor, you know.
00:22:07.000 Working for Fear Factor, we got some dudes who are going to cover them in bees and shit. 1.00
00:22:10.000 They were like working out what was going on. 0.99
00:22:12.000 And then they resolved their differences and the local bees went a separate way and then his bees stayed.
00:22:18.000 Was it like a black cloud?
00:22:20.000 Yes!
00:22:20.000 That's crazy.
00:22:20.000 Dude, it was nuts.
00:22:21.000 It was a big fucking cloud of bees in the air and the bees were communicating. 0.99
00:22:26.000 Where's your cell phone? 0.99
00:22:26.000 Why weren't you filming? 0.99
00:22:27.000 It was back in the day.
00:22:28.000 You didn't have an E7? No.
00:22:30.000 E18 or whatever?
00:22:31.000 I had a Motorola where you had to press four times to get an S. Do you remember how bad those little Motorola's were?
00:22:36.000 It was like E815. Is that what it was?
00:22:38.000 Yeah, I had one of those. 0.98
00:22:42.000 But, so, they wonder if that's fucking with bees. 0.98
00:22:46.000 If our cell phone signals and everything are fucking with bees. 0.99
00:22:48.000 It's that autism thing, man. 0.96
00:22:50.000 It might be something totally like that.
00:22:51.000 It could be.
00:22:52.000 It also, you know, a lot of speculation about autism is the age of the parents and that women are having babies like into their 30s and 40s and that increases the risk.
00:23:00.000 A lot of people have talked about that.
00:23:02.000 That's very, very possible.
00:23:04.000 It makes sense, man.
00:23:05.000 You know, when... 1.00
00:23:07.000 We're just older and smarter and we look at it now and we say, well, God, how stupid would it be to have a kid when you're 18? 1.00
00:23:13.000 When you're 18, you're an idiot, which is absolutely true. 1.00
00:23:15.000 But when you're an 18-year-old idiot, your genetics are much stronger and you could have a kid and the kid probably wouldn't be as fucked up. 1.00
00:23:24.000 I mean, the reality is, even though we're lengthening our lifetimes with nutrition and, you know, science, and we're figuring out a way to make people live longer, really, people aren't supposed to live much longer than, like, 50, you know? 1.00
00:23:37.000 I mean, back in the day, if you lived to be 50, holy shit, you pulled off an amazing thing, you know?
00:23:42.000 But not anymore. 0.99
00:23:45.000 Now, people are living to be 110 and you got Sylvester Stallone is 62 years old and he's fucking yoked and shredded. 0.88
00:23:52.000 Things are getting very strange now. 0.97
00:23:54.000 That's why if guys are smart, they would just knock up 18-year-old girls when they want to get... 1.00
00:23:59.000 Yeah, I mean, 18-year-old girls would definitely give you the better genetics. 1.00
00:24:03.000 The real question, though, is do you get anything other than hair, color, eye, color, personality?
00:24:11.000 Do you get learned experiences?
00:24:13.000 And is it better off to have a parent with a lot of experiences?
00:24:17.000 Are those experiences transferred through DNA? I never thought of that.
00:24:20.000 Because they didn't used to think it was.
00:24:21.000 They used to think that ideas were native to the person who had the idea.
00:24:28.000 But now they're starting to think that memes can actually be transferred through genetics.
00:24:33.000 And that useless traits, even like racism, can be transferred through genetics.
00:24:39.000 And it kind of makes sense because there's a lot of things that we have inside our genetics and our instincts that are basically ancient learned things.
00:24:49.000 Like, for instance, this dude named Rupert Sheldrake.
00:24:52.000 Rupert Sheldrake is like this Evolutionary biologist dude.
00:24:56.000 And he pointed out that children that live in New York City, they don't have dreams about muggers or car accidents.
00:25:04.000 They have nightmares about monsters.
00:25:06.000 About scary monsters.
00:25:07.000 And the reason they have nightmares about scary monsters is because back in our heads, somewhere deep in our DNA, we remember back when we were like monkeys.
00:25:18.000 When we were these little apes hanging around in trees and you're running away from big cats. 0.99
00:25:24.000 And that shit is always in our head because that is, like, the number one thing that was fed off chimps and apes is big cats. 0.99
00:25:34.000 Big cats are constantly killing monkeys and chimps and apes. 1.00
00:25:37.000 And that's, like, when they find, like, old human beings, like, you know, the evolutionary versions of human beings, you know, subhuman hominoids, they find all their skeletons, like, a lot of them have, like, big fucking cat bites, big, you know, markings. 0.98
00:25:52.000 So that's, like... 0.99
00:25:54.000 That's like some memory that we have ingrained in our genetics, in whoever the fuck we are. 1.00
00:25:59.000 It's very possible that if you're like 18 years old and you fuck a chick and she's 18, you're both retarded, you're going to have a dumbass kid. 1.00
00:26:08.000 It might not just be your hair color and your eye color and how tall you're going to be. 1.00
00:26:13.000 It might be your actual experiences and your human potential.
00:26:17.000 At that second.
00:26:18.000 Yeah, maybe, yeah. 1.00
00:26:19.000 Yeah, maybe if you're a loser, like, if you're a fucking drunk, if you get hammered and you're fucked up and your life is in the toilet and, you know, you bang some chick who's, you know, on the rebound and, you know, her old boyfriend needs to beat her and you shoot a load in her, maybe a kid would be just, like, really fucking dumb and prone to make terrible mistakes, you know? 0.99
00:26:38.000 I mean, maybe he can get past it, but maybe his inclination, like, maybe we start off in a certain place in life not just based on The economic situation that our parents are in, and who the people we grow up with, and what our genetics are. 1.00
00:26:54.000 Maybe our position starts out based on what the parents were thinking and doing when they fucked and conceived you.
00:27:04.000 Maybe if that's the lowest point in their life, not even because of the way they raise you, they could take you away and raise you in an orphanage somewhere totally different, but your potential is limited by The circumstances in which you were conceived. 0.88
00:27:19.000 Do you think that's possible?
00:27:21.000 Maybe.
00:27:21.000 I don't think we have any idea, so I think anything's possible.
00:27:25.000 But it's very obvious that there's a bunch of different types of humans. 1.00
00:27:29.000 There's super powerful, super successful, super smart humans, and there's really fucking dumb people. 0.99
00:27:35.000 I think it's the percentage of your brain being used. 0.99
00:27:38.000 I think people use more brain than other people, and I think it's such a small percentage, but even that, you know?
00:27:45.000 Yeah, maybe.
00:27:47.000 That's the real way to become a superhero.
00:27:50.000 Find out how to use 100% of your brain. 1.00
00:27:52.000 But isn't that bullshit? 1.00
00:27:53.000 I've heard that that's bullshit. 0.99
00:27:54.000 That we don't use 100%? 0.99
00:27:55.000 Yeah.
00:27:56.000 Well, I mean, when they hook it up, it shows the...
00:27:58.000 Yeah, but that's not what that part is for.
00:28:00.000 You know, I think that whole, you know, human beings only use 10% of their brain.
00:28:05.000 I think that's a myth.
00:28:06.000 Yeah, I think it's a myth.
00:28:07.000 Well, they don't know exactly what every part of the brain is for.
00:28:11.000 It's like, they're still like, it's like, you know, it's like...
00:28:14.000 Charting out the bottom of the sea. 0.99
00:28:16.000 There's a lot of shit that they still haven't figured out yet. 0.99
00:28:19.000 Alright, let's see if any of you motherfuckers are smarter than us and have answers to all these things that we're talking about. 1.00
00:28:24.000 It is weird when you see a human brain on TV and you're just like, that's somebody. 0.99
00:28:28.000 That's a person.
00:28:29.000 That used to be a person.
00:28:30.000 It's crazy.
00:28:31.000 It doesn't make any sense.
00:28:33.000 It's nuts. 0.61
00:28:34.000 Alright, this Twitter is blowing the fuck up, ladies and gentlemen. 0.57
00:28:38.000 Oh, you spelled Twitter wrong.
00:28:39.000 I spelled Twitter wrong?
00:28:41.000 On the Twitter backslash JoeRogan.com.
00:28:43.000 Oh, I did. 0.99
00:28:44.000 Oh, retard. 1.00
00:28:45.000 Should I fix that? 0.98
00:28:46.000 No.
00:28:46.000 Who cares?
00:28:47.000 You know what I'm talking about. 0.99
00:28:48.000 Damn, a lot of questions. 0.99
00:28:56.000 Should watch A Scanner Darkly. 0.99
00:28:57.000 Yeah, you know what, man?
00:28:59.000 A Scanner Darkly is something that I bought a long-ass time ago.
00:29:02.000 I got it on DVD, and I just have never gotten around to watching it.
00:29:05.000 I tried to watch it.
00:29:06.000 I stopped.
00:29:07.000 Anti-Chris.
00:29:08.000 Why did you stop?
00:29:10.000 I don't remember.
00:29:11.000 It just wasn't that interesting to me. 1.00
00:29:12.000 Damn, you hear that shit, Chris? 1.00
00:29:14.000 Motherfucker said it wasn't interesting. 1.00
00:29:16.000 You're recommending it, and he's saying it's whack. 0.99
00:29:20.000 Keanu Reeves, man.
00:29:22.000 Tiano Reeves was tough action.
00:29:24.000 Has there ever been a guy that more universally panned as an actor, but more incredibly successful?
00:29:31.000 I know. 0.99
00:29:32.000 I mean, he like, he blows them off the fucking charts. 0.99
00:29:36.000 He slipped by every time. 0.99
00:29:37.000 Oh, here's something I need to tell you.
00:29:39.000 They actually had a Playboy article this month that there was a Roadhouse video game being made a few years ago, but the company went bankrupt.
00:29:50.000 Roadhouse video game?
00:29:51.000 Yeah.
00:29:51.000 Which is like the Patrick Swayze movie?
00:29:52.000 Yeah.
00:29:53.000 That's the greatest bad movie ever.
00:29:55.000 It's right up there with Showgirls. 1.00
00:29:57.000 If you haven't seen Roadhouse, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you.
00:30:00.000 If you haven't seen Showgirls, drop this chat and either download it or go to the video store and do something. 0.93
00:30:07.000 You've got to watch Showgirls. 1.00
00:30:09.000 Showgirls is awesome. 1.00
00:30:10.000 Just a quintessential movie where the people who are doing the movie were just gacked out of their fucking minds on cocaine and they made a terrible movie that makes no sense. 0.94
00:30:21.000 And it's so bad that it's good. 0.99
00:30:24.000 It's like perfect.
00:30:25.000 It's just one of those movies that just perfectly crosses over into parody to the point where you can watch it over and over and over again.
00:30:32.000 Right?
00:30:33.000 I've only seen it twice.
00:30:35.000 Showgirls is awesome. 1.00
00:30:36.000 Showgirls and Roadhouse are both basically the same movie.
00:30:41.000 They're both movies where it's like they got people that were just full of themselves enough and just underestimating the intelligence of the viewers enough and just hack enough and just, you know, they just followed the dumbest formula lines possible. 0.98
00:30:58.000 The difference between Roadhouse and Showgirls though is that Roadhouse seems to be raw stupidity on its own. 0.98
00:31:04.000 Whereas Showgirls is the most obvious cocaine movie of all time. 1.00
00:31:08.000 Because it's just so dumb. 0.98
00:31:10.000 Like, you had to be on coke to think that that was a good movie. 1.00
00:31:13.000 Like, if you made that movie and you weren't on coke, you would watch the dailies and you'd be like, what the fuck are we doing? 0.99
00:31:19.000 What are we doing? 0.99
00:31:20.000 What is this movie? 0.98
00:31:20.000 But if you're on coke, you're like, yeah, it's fucking awesome. 0.98
00:31:23.000 What was your What's your bit? 0.98
00:31:30.000 Alright, I'll tell you.
00:31:31.000 Ask it later.
00:31:32.000 Which one?
00:31:34.000 It has something to do with, like, would you even be able to see it yet?
00:31:36.000 Because, you know, the human brain hasn't seen it yet.
00:31:40.000 Oh, no.
00:31:41.000 It's my theory about how we believe that everything around us is everything there is.
00:31:47.000 Right.
00:31:48.000 And I talk about farts.
00:31:49.000 And what I say is that if someone farted and you didn't have a nose, you'd have no idea something was going on.
00:31:54.000 Oh, no, no.
00:31:55.000 I'm talking about something you used to say a while ago.
00:31:57.000 Something like...
00:31:57.000 You were kind of saying, like, how...
00:31:59.000 Because our...
00:32:00.000 Would you even be able to see it?
00:32:02.000 Uh...
00:32:04.000 Because our brain hasn't seen it yet, like the tiger or something like that.
00:32:08.000 Oh, but I didn't mean, the tiger bit was, if a tiger was running at you, would you be able to even watch that?
00:32:12.000 Because I think your brain would just start producing...
00:32:14.000 I think it was about the pyramids or something.
00:32:15.000 You used to have a thing where you talked about, like, would they even be able to see it because their brain's never seen it before, and so...
00:32:22.000 I don't think so, man.
00:32:23.000 That's not my act.
00:32:24.000 That's, I think you're thinking of, there's a part in the movie that's secret.
00:32:28.000 Where those retards claimed that, or it was a, what the bleep do we know? 1.00
00:32:32.000 I think it was what the bleep.
00:32:33.000 Where they were like looking, like they said the Indians couldn't recognize the boat because they couldn't see it.
00:32:37.000 That's what it was.
00:32:37.000 That was not my act.
00:32:38.000 Right.
00:32:38.000 No.
00:32:39.000 My act is the part about how if we didn't have a nose and you had a, if you smell a fart, and this is for the people that are watching this, this is the idea is that we don't have any idea if there's more around us all the time that we can't sense.
00:32:55.000 And it's very possible that there is.
00:32:56.000 And what I say is the fart theory.
00:32:58.000 And the fart theory is if someone farted and you couldn't smell it, you'd have no idea that there's something around you.
00:33:02.000 It's totally, completely invisible. 0.98
00:33:04.000 But if someone farts, you'd fucking smell it. 0.99
00:33:07.000 But if you didn't have a nose, you'd be just sitting in someone's stench. 0.99
00:33:11.000 How do we not know that there aren't an infinite amount of things that we just can't detect?
00:33:15.000 And that smell, even though we can detect, it's for biological reasons.
00:33:19.000 You know, you smell gas, you know it's dangerous for you, you smell fire, get away.
00:33:23.000 There's a reason why we have a sense of smell.
00:33:25.000 It's good for us, but what if we didn't?
00:33:27.000 If we didn't, it would be an invisible thing.
00:33:30.000 And it's just our imagination that limits The possibilities of how many other invisible things there are around us all the time that we can't detect.
00:33:39.000 There's all sorts of animals like worms.
00:33:41.000 You take your hand, you roll it over a worm, you know, above a worm.
00:33:44.000 They have no idea you're there.
00:33:45.000 They have no idea. 0.99
00:33:46.000 It's very possible that if that exists in nature, that there's also some shit like that with human beings. 0.85
00:33:52.000 It's very possible that we are constantly, like the idea of dimensions. 0.71
00:33:57.000 Dimensions might be dimensions of perception.
00:33:59.000 We just might not have the ability to perceive All these other things that are around us all the time.
00:34:04.000 I mean that could be like bad energy like you go into a house.
00:34:07.000 Many people have told stories that they go into a house where people have been murdered and they can feel it. 0.90
00:34:11.000 They can feel fucked up energy in the house. 1.00
00:34:13.000 That all might be real shit. 0.99
00:34:16.000 We don't have a name for it and we're not good at detecting it. 0.98
00:34:19.000 We call it a sense or a feeling.
00:34:21.000 That might be real energy that you're detecting.
00:34:24.000 We're just not evolved enough to the point where we can really tune into it yet.
00:34:30.000 Why is it that we like smelling our own farts but not somebody else's farts?
00:34:34.000 My farts are delicious.
00:34:35.000 Do you think it's just like...
00:34:36.000 I don't know.
00:34:37.000 Do you think we would enjoy it if we made ourselves...
00:34:39.000 Right, yeah. 0.98
00:34:40.000 If you forced yourself to smell my farts and enjoy it. 0.94
00:34:44.000 Make yourself enjoy it. 1.00
00:34:45.000 You'd have to be one of those sick dudes that whacks off to fart porn. 1.00
00:34:49.000 Because there's dudes that do that. 1.00
00:34:51.000 There's dudes that like...
00:34:52.000 Oh yeah, fart baby.
00:34:54.000 There's dudes that like that.
00:34:55.000 That's real.
00:34:55.000 But I've never heard of anybody who likes their buddy's farts.
00:34:59.000 That's weird though, isn't it?
00:35:01.000 It's crazy.
00:35:01.000 Yeah, it's very weird.
00:35:02.000 But meanwhile, I enjoy my own farts. 0.73
00:35:04.000 I love my farts. 0.93
00:35:06.000 Everybody does.
00:35:07.000 If you're in your car and you feel a hot one and it blasts you, when you do this, you start blowing and smoking. 0.99
00:35:13.000 When I'm in the shower, I cut my hand around my ass and I call it the Donald Duck. 0.99
00:35:17.000 It makes a Donald Duck noise. 0.99
00:35:20.000 And when I fart and it doesn't smell, I'm always disappointed.
00:35:23.000 Yeah.
00:35:23.000 Like if I fart, nothing.
00:35:24.000 Oh, it's worse.
00:35:25.000 Yeah, but like if somebody else farts on a plane... 1.00
00:35:28.000 You're like, oh, you motherfucker. 1.00
00:35:30.000 I can't believe you did that. 1.00
00:35:31.000 Why is that, though?
00:35:32.000 We should love it.
00:35:33.000 I know.
00:35:34.000 Because it smells the same.
00:35:35.000 It's not like your farts smell different than mine.
00:35:37.000 Well, with our farts, I think we get a little reward.
00:35:39.000 Like, oh, you're getting all this bad stuff out of your body. 1.00
00:35:42.000 But with other people's farts, it's like, oh, you stinky fuck. 1.00
00:35:45.000 You know, it's not the same reward. 1.00
00:35:47.000 It's weird, though.
00:35:47.000 Is there any other smells that do that?
00:35:49.000 I don't like to smell my shit. 1.00
00:35:51.000 I don't like that. 1.00
00:35:52.000 I'll tell you that.
00:35:53.000 I don't like that.
00:35:54.000 When I take a nasty dump, I'm like, oh, get me out of that room.
00:35:57.000 When I go back in, I would blow my nose or something like that.
00:36:00.000 I'd go to get some Toby. 1.00
00:36:01.000 Oh, what the fuck? 1.00
00:36:02.000 That was my shit? 1.00
00:36:03.000 I don't like it. 0.99
00:36:04.000 But that's funny, man. 0.99
00:36:06.000 You ever have to take a shit outside? 1.00
00:36:08.000 You ever have to take a shit in the woods? 1.00
00:36:09.000 That's the worst. 0.99
00:36:10.000 Because there's no water or anything. 1.00
00:36:11.000 It's just steamy, stinky fucking dump on dirt. 1.00
00:36:15.000 It smells horrible. 1.00
00:36:17.000 Nobody ever is sitting there sniffing their pile of shit and getting all happy about it. 1.00
00:36:22.000 It makes no sense. 1.00
00:36:23.000 Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
00:36:25.000 It's like, what is the evolutionary reason for that?
00:36:28.000 What is the reason?
00:36:29.000 It's probably like the cure of AIDS somewhere in that.
00:36:32.000 Hmm...
00:36:33.000 I'm not going to research on farts.
00:36:35.000 What do you think about all these dudes?
00:36:37.000 And there's a bunch of scientists online.
00:36:41.000 There's just one guy that's at the head of the cause, Peter Duesberg.
00:36:48.000 And they're all saying that HIV does not cause AIDS and that HIV is a very weak virus and that the only reason why HIV exists in the systems of these people that have AIDS is because their immune system is so compromised that it can't even kill off HIV. Well, I think it's really weird that most of the people that have AIDS are drug users and gays. 0.98
00:37:08.000 So it has something to do with the immune system, but then you can get fucking, what's his name, the basketball player that had fake AIDS. That's the other thing is that people test negative after a while. 0.98
00:37:20.000 The rich people.
00:37:23.000 And then it goes into a dormant stage.
00:37:26.000 Yeah, I mean, Magic Johnson had AIDS and now he's doing like mattress commercials, you know?
00:37:30.000 Right, right.
00:37:30.000 It's like crazy.
00:37:31.000 Why is he doing mattress commercials?
00:37:32.000 He didn't get, you know, he spent a lot of money on AIDS medicine.
00:37:36.000 Yeah, I think, I don't know, man.
00:37:39.000 I guess, I mean, they probably pay him millions of dollars to do any commercial.
00:37:42.000 He's still got a good name.
00:37:43.000 How much mattresses, though, are you going to sell to pay that million dollars?
00:37:47.000 How many more of these basketball players, all these dudes, who you know are out there just... 1.00
00:37:53.000 Fucking banging chicks left and right. 1.00
00:37:55.000 They must be freaking out about this Tiger Woods shit. 1.00
00:37:58.000 This Tiger Woods shit will throw a monkey wrench into your endorsement deals. 1.00
00:38:02.000 And if you're like a Michael Jordan type of dude, that's where those guys make the bulk of their cash, is in endorsements. 0.99
00:38:09.000 That's why this is so dangerous to Tiger Woods. 1.00
00:38:11.000 It's not that Tiger Woods can't go out there and still kick ass and golf and say, fuck you, I can do whatever I want. 0.99
00:38:17.000 He can, but he can't because the endorsements is where he gets all his cash. 1.00
00:38:22.000 Well, look at Letterman.
00:38:22.000 Same thing.
00:38:23.000 It's blown up this year. 0.99
00:38:25.000 2009 sucks. 0.99
00:38:26.000 No, it doesn't suck. 0.99
00:38:27.000 It's what I was talking about before.
00:38:29.000 I think what we're seeing in celebrities Is going to be mirrored in human beings.
00:38:36.000 We're seeing more access to information.
00:38:38.000 We're seeing less secrets.
00:38:40.000 I think it's a trend.
00:38:42.000 I think it's a trend because I think that's eventually what the human race is going to come to.
00:38:47.000 It's going to come to a point in time where there's not going to be any secrets.
00:38:49.000 And that's a good thing.
00:38:50.000 There's going to be full information disclosed from you to me.
00:38:53.000 And what it is is the convergence of all human beings.
00:38:56.000 That's what's going to...
00:38:58.000 To start to ignite the convergence amongst all human beings is going to be full access to information.
00:39:04.000 I know everything in your head.
00:39:05.000 You know everything in my head.
00:39:07.000 It's pretty weird, man. 0.98
00:39:08.000 It's pretty fucking crazy. 0.95
00:39:09.000 And that's where it's going. 0.98
00:39:10.000 It's going through technology.
00:39:12.000 And this is what the internet's about.
00:39:14.000 This is what Twitter's about.
00:39:15.000 This is what this Ustream chat is about. 1.00
00:39:17.000 This is what all this shit is about. 0.99
00:39:18.000 It's about a convergence of human beings. 0.99
00:39:20.000 Like human beings are eventually merging into one thing.
00:39:24.000 I mean, that's the...
00:39:25.000 The whole ancient line in Eastern mysticism and Eastern religion is that we are all one.
00:39:32.000 We are one consciousness, like the Bill Hicks joke, experiencing itself subjectively.
00:39:37.000 That's the Timothy Leary ideology, the ideology of all the psychedelic heads, all the people that really got into heavy-duty psychedelic drugs.
00:39:46.000 It's that it's this one thing.
00:39:48.000 and that we can't recognize that we're one thing because we have ego and we have survival and we have all these things but that our technology and the technology forcing us to evolve that the access to information that technology provides Eventually will cause human beings, all human beings, to converge and literally be like one consciousness.
00:40:06.000 If I know all your thoughts, I know all your information, and we have an access to it, an interface that's much less crude than what we have now with typing and with researching or watching documentaries, what if it's like an instant access, a human neurotransplant, something that allows all of us To link up our minds together.
00:40:23.000 That's not that outside of the realm of possibility.
00:40:26.000 That to me seems just as likely as the ability to send a picture through the internet on your phone. 0.99
00:40:32.000 That's just as fucking crazy that you can send video through the air and you can watch a YouTube video on your iPhone and you're like, what the fuck? 0.97
00:40:41.000 I mean, it's just coming through the air and you put the headphones on and it's in stereo. 0.99
00:40:45.000 I'm like, what? 0.99
00:40:46.000 That's going through the fucking sky! 0.98
00:40:48.000 It's just as likely that human beings are eventually going to come to some sort of a technological invention. 0.99
00:40:57.000 We're going to come to something that allows all human beings to interface together.
00:41:01.000 It might be through this thing.
00:41:02.000 It might be something you put on and everybody else that has it on all links in together.
00:41:06.000 Or it might eventually become something you put in your body. 0.97
00:41:09.000 Or it might be something they broadcast through the fucking air that links people together. 0.98
00:41:14.000 I just can't wait until it gets cheaper to be able to upgrade your body parts. 0.99
00:41:18.000 I want to have better eyeballs.
00:41:20.000 I want night vision. 0.99
00:41:21.000 I want to have fucking Twitter. 0.99
00:41:23.000 I want a new eyeball. 1.00
00:41:24.000 Did you hear about that woman that they made her a new bladder? 1.00
00:41:26.000 Yeah.
00:41:27.000 They made a woman a new bladder. 1.00
00:41:28.000 They took her own bladder. 1.00
00:41:30.000 They scraped the cells together.
00:41:32.000 Stem cells.
00:41:33.000 Yeah, they grew it.
00:41:34.000 I don't know if it's stem cells.
00:41:35.000 Yeah, it's stem cells. 0.99
00:41:36.000 But I know they grew a new bladder for her in a fucking Petri dish and then installed it in her body. 1.00
00:41:41.000 That's crazy. 1.00
00:41:42.000 You know, a bladder's just kind of a bag for piss, but that's going to happen with other shit, too, man. 1.00
00:41:49.000 Eye transplants are crazy, too, though. 0.99
00:41:50.000 That's amazing.
00:41:52.000 Imagine my friend's uncle died, and they donated their eyes and helped somebody see, that can now see.
00:42:02.000 And they got a letter just to let you know your uncle's eyes were donated to so-and-so person who can now see.
00:42:08.000 And they sent him a whole letter.
00:42:09.000 So you can imagine...
00:42:11.000 Somebody you know who's dead now, but their eyeballs are still being used.
00:42:15.000 That's incredible.
00:42:16.000 That's like a nightmare.
00:42:17.000 That's like a horror movie, right?
00:42:18.000 Well, I heard about some...
00:42:19.000 I was listening to the Art Bell show about some lady who donated her...
00:42:24.000 She got a liver from somebody in an operation, and right immediately after the operation, she started having cravings for whatever this dude used to like to eat.
00:42:33.000 Are you serious?
00:42:34.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:42:34.000 That's fucked up. 0.99
00:42:35.000 Cravings she never had before, and then she found out that dude really liked to eat this certain type of thing. 0.99
00:42:40.000 Very strange. 0.99
00:42:41.000 Now I wonder if you got a butt transplant, if you like that person's farts, if you like your own farts still, if you got somebody else's butt. 0.99
00:42:51.000 People may ask the weirdest questions. 0.99
00:42:53.000 Dawkins 20. Look at this.
00:42:54.000 Bill Hicks the Comedian.
00:42:56.000 How are they the same guy? 0.99
00:42:59.000 What the fuck kind of question is that? 0.99
00:43:02.000 What does that mean? 0.99
00:43:04.000 That doesn't mean anything.
00:43:05.000 How are they the same guy?
00:43:06.000 He's one guy.
00:43:07.000 How are they the same guy?
00:43:09.000 What?
00:43:12.000 Alex Jones is Bill Hicks.
00:43:13.000 Oh, this is people who believe Alex Jones is Bill Hicks.
00:43:16.000 I met Bill Hicks.
00:43:18.000 I'm friends with Alex Jones.
00:43:19.000 They're not the same guy. 0.99
00:43:20.000 Isn't that retarded? 1.00
00:43:21.000 These people cannot be serious. 0.99
00:43:22.000 It has to be a joke, right?
00:43:24.000 It's an internet meme.
00:43:25.000 Right. 1.00
00:43:26.000 If you guys are being serious about that, you guys are fucking retarded. 1.00
00:43:31.000 Yeah, that's pretty silly. 0.99
00:43:34.000 Alright, let's go to some questions here. 0.88
00:43:37.000 Magic Johnson's bought the cure for AIDS. Yeah.
00:43:40.000 Magic Johnson.
00:43:41.000 Great South Park episode too.
00:43:43.000 I love that.
00:43:44.000 The cure for AIDS. There's no better South Park episode than the one where the gay dude had a whore off with Parasel and shoved her up his ass. 1.00
00:43:54.000 I remember watching that going, how do they get away with this? 1.00
00:44:00.000 You don't pass on circumstances, but you can pass on The psychic ability to create them.
00:44:05.000 Alright.
00:44:06.000 Alright, Christine M. Velez.
00:44:10.000 How do you know that?
00:44:11.000 Do you really know that?
00:44:12.000 Or are you just saying maybe?
00:44:14.000 Maybe that's what's happening.
00:44:16.000 But you don't know.
00:44:17.000 The psychic ability to create them. 0.99
00:44:22.000 Have you ever met anybody that says that they're a channeler or says that they're psychic that isn't a fucking retard? 1.00
00:44:28.000 Have you ever met anyone? 0.99
00:44:29.000 I don't believe any of it. 1.00
00:44:30.000 Every time they do it, they're like fucking scam artists to me. 0.99
00:44:32.000 Yeah, I've never met one person that says they're a psychic or says they can channel that isn't retarded. 1.00
00:44:37.000 They're all retarded. 1.00
00:44:38.000 But then, it's almost like, do you have to be retarded to be able to do that? 1.00
00:44:42.000 Maybe you have to be a person that can... 1.00
00:44:48.000 You're so socially inept. 0.96
00:44:49.000 You're so clueless to how other people perceive you that you can achieve certain frequencies that other people can't. 0.99
00:44:54.000 Is that possible?
00:44:56.000 Anything's possible.
00:45:00.000 Can I get Alex Jones on Opie and Anthony?
00:45:02.000 I don't think so, man.
00:45:03.000 I don't think that's a good idea.
00:45:04.000 I saw what Little Jimmy did to Jesse Ventura.
00:45:07.000 I don't think we'd like that.
00:45:10.000 Alex Jones is not the kind of guy you're supposed to argue with like that.
00:45:13.000 He's supposed to enjoy his company.
00:45:15.000 And ask him questions.
00:45:17.000 And then we start talking about the New World Order.
00:45:19.000 Black helicopters.
00:45:20.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I see them outside my window every night.
00:45:23.000 You tell me I'm crazy, but I see black helicopters outside my window.
00:45:28.000 So what is going on?
00:45:30.000 You don't argue with that, dude. 1.00
00:45:32.000 You go, damn, man. 1.00
00:45:33.000 Motherfucking black helicopters. 1.00
00:45:35.000 That's what you're supposed to do. 1.00
00:45:37.000 And I think if I was in the room with Jesse Ventura, I'm certain I would have handled it different than Jimmy did.
00:45:43.000 But Jimmy's one of those dudes where...
00:45:45.000 Jim Norton, fantastic comedian, funniest guy on radio, without a doubt, by far. 1.00
00:45:51.000 He's one of those dudes that when he, you know, when he's in the face of someone who's like a bully, he doesn't like that shit. 1.00
00:45:58.000 He doesn't stand up to that shit well. 0.99
00:46:00.000 And he feels like that Jesse, like, has this slow burn in his eyes and, I'm a Navy SEAL, and all that shit, and that you're supposed to listen to him because of that. 1.00
00:46:08.000 And Jim Norton just ain't buying that. 0.97
00:46:10.000 And that's why Jimmy just shut him down and clowned him.
00:46:13.000 That's just what he does.
00:46:14.000 He's not good at people being bullies.
00:46:16.000 I respect that.
00:46:21.000 People that meditate have large frontal lobe cortexes, study show, says Pete Shreds.
00:46:28.000 I wonder, that's very possible, right?
00:46:32.000 It's very possible that it changes the way your brain works.
00:46:35.000 I mean, if you lift weights, it changes the way your muscles look.
00:46:38.000 If you exercise your mind in certain ways, don't you think it would make that happen?
00:46:46.000 Brian is going to smoke marijuana live right here on Ustream.
00:46:51.000 Thank God it's all legal, supposedly.
00:46:54.000 That's the only thing Obama's done that he said he would do.
00:46:57.000 He's not going after weed. 0.98
00:47:02.000 Ridiculous. 0.97
00:47:02.000 Alright, what else? 0.97
00:47:03.000 What else, party people?
00:47:04.000 Let's go to the Rogan board and read some of the questions that you find people have.
00:47:12.000 What is my opinion on free will? 0.63
00:47:15.000 Your blog talks about how we're all living through different circumstances, which is very true, but it seems to denote the power of free will, which kind of sucks. 0.52
00:47:24.000 I don't know.
00:47:27.000 I start thinking about free will.
00:47:29.000 I think about free will in a couple of different ways.
00:47:31.000 I think it's very possible that you are shaping your own destiny and that you can Choose your path and you can go through this life and make something of yourself.
00:47:43.000 The fact that you did it by yourself and you have free will, it's all good.
00:47:47.000 I think that's very possible.
00:47:48.000 But I think it's also possible that life itself is a gigantic mathematical algorithm.
00:47:58.000 That all life itself is like a gigantic mathematical equation.
00:48:02.000 And that it just doesn't seem like an equation because we're a part of it.
00:48:07.000 But like that everything, your personality, your biology, your circumstances, your experiences, they're all set up in line to put you in a very specific position, to move forward in a very specific way, to interface with all the other very specific things that are around you.
00:48:25.000 All the other very specific people, very specific events, and that the idea is that The idea of free will is sort of a misnomer.
00:48:35.000 You have instincts and you have experiences that guide you into a certain way.
00:48:39.000 Say if you drank poison and you almost died and it was terrible and you didn't know it was poison.
00:48:45.000 Well, you'll be much more careful next time and you won't drink poison.
00:48:50.000 The circumstance that you've experienced has led you in a very specific way.
00:48:55.000 And that your experiences literally are set up as a part of a mathematical equation.
00:49:01.000 And that it's all to lead this entire human race, which is really just one organism, one gigantic super organism, to lead this entire human race into a very specific place for a very specific purpose.
00:49:14.000 That's possible.
00:49:15.000 You know, I don't like to think it.
00:49:17.000 You know, when your ego has any control whatsoever over your mind, your ego wants you to think that, no, you know, I am in control of my whole life.
00:49:25.000 I have done what I have done and I am proud of all that I have done because it's my own accomplishments.
00:49:31.000 But really it might be you're following a program.
00:49:34.000 It really might be we're all a part of this gigantic program that's, you know, and that all this, you know...
00:49:41.000 Ego justification, ego gratification, sex and love and fun and happiness and all these things are really just numbers and equations and the powerful number that you get from love forces you to be in love and have children and to create more people and to be good to those people and those people create more good people.
00:50:04.000 And that these rewards are all in fact set up as a part of an equation to move the human race into one specific place.
00:50:12.000 That everyone is working together all over the world and we just don't realize it.
00:50:16.000 We're bees.
00:50:17.000 Yeah, we're bees. 0.62
00:50:19.000 We don't know how bees communicate. 0.96
00:50:22.000 We don't know what sort of a culture bees have, but we know that they don't have books.
00:50:26.000 They can't study their past.
00:50:27.000 They can't study their history.
00:50:29.000 I mean, how conscious, how aware are they?
00:50:31.000 And are they just going through the motions because that's how they're programmed?
00:50:35.000 And if that's the case, if that's the case with wolves and bears and every other animal that sort of goes through these natural motions to achieve a specific result...
00:50:45.000 Maybe that's what we're doing.
00:50:46.000 Maybe we're just doing it and it's way more complicated because what we're doing is we're actually changing our environment.
00:50:51.000 We're changing the world.
00:50:53.000 We're creating computers and creating technology and we're involved.
00:50:56.000 We're the only animal on the planet that's involved in this symbiotic relationship with another life form and that other life form is technology.
00:51:03.000 I mean, if you don't classify life as something that has a heartbeat and something that bleeds, but if you classify life as something that evolves and changes and grows and something that is inexorably linked to human beings, technology is just like a virus.
00:51:18.000 Technology is just like something, some sort of a bacteria that's in your system that you can't get out of.
00:51:23.000 You know, you have a lot of healthy bacteria in your body all the time, and you have a symbiotic relationship with this healthy bacteria, and it keeps you alive, and it actually fights off other bacteria.
00:51:34.000 I mean, that's what probiotics are.
00:51:36.000 That's what acidophilus is.
00:51:37.000 You're taking in a live culture that will be your warriors, and they will fight off bad bacteria.
00:51:42.000 Well, it's very possible that that's what technology is.
00:51:45.000 Technology is a life force that we are interfaced with.
00:51:49.000 We have a symbiotic relationship with this other thing, and we need it to keep us alive.
00:51:54.000 We need it to keep the power on, to keep us warm in cold climates, to make sure your car gets you to work, to make sure that the airbag goes off to save your life, and all this shit is designed to help us, but in turn, we keep it going. 0.59
00:52:11.000 We look at old cars on the side of the road that are broken down and dead, and those things are just like dead bodies. 0.98
00:52:18.000 Cars that are old that stay alive, that's just like when you're like, wow, that's fucking cool. 0.99
00:52:22.000 That's just like seeing an old man at the gym with big muscles like, holy shit! 1.00
00:52:26.000 Literally, technology and things that we create, we are helping those things evolve. 0.95
00:52:33.000 We are helping those things evolve with our materialism, with our obsession with technology. 0.93
00:52:38.000 We are trying to always constantly get the newer, better, cooler shit.
00:52:43.000 And in doing that and in supplying that, we are forcing people to work in that industry and continue to evolve technology. 0.98
00:52:51.000 I mean, it's very possible that it's all one fucking big thing. 0.87
00:52:55.000 So, that's my opinion on that. 0.96
00:52:59.000 What do I get for Christmas? 1.00
00:53:01.000 Your mother's pussy! 1.00
00:53:02.000 Oh! 1.00
00:53:07.000 What's my opinion?
00:53:08.000 Oh, this is too trippy.
00:53:09.000 Some people just get way too DMT on me.
00:53:13.000 It's the extreme hippies that follow you that are weird to me.
00:53:19.000 Yeah, this is a dude's question.
00:53:20.000 This is Entheo Shaman.
00:53:21.000 What is your opinion of the non-ordinary reality accessed by DMT and other...
00:53:26.000 Entheo substances.
00:53:30.000 Entheogens are...
00:53:32.000 I think the literal translation is something that connects you to God, but it's psychedelic drugs.
00:53:37.000 Do you feel there is much to learn from this version of reality?
00:53:40.000 How can it be applied to ordinary reality?
00:53:42.000 That's the real problem with any psychedelic drugs, whether you're doing salvia or doing DMT or smoking weed.
00:53:48.000 It's like, are you bringing any of that back?
00:53:50.000 Is it enhancing your life?
00:53:52.000 Do you think anything enhances your life?
00:53:54.000 I don't know.
00:53:54.000 That question to me seems like he wrote it in the garage with his car running.
00:53:59.000 With a hose inside.
00:54:05.000 What do you think, man, of the DMT? What's my take on Charlie Sheen?
00:54:10.000 Charlie Sheen is a dude who's friends with Alex Jones, like me, but he's not laughing.
00:54:15.000 He is a 9-11 conspiracy buff.
00:54:20.000 He's an actor.
00:54:21.000 That's a problem.
00:54:24.000 He might have just nailed it.
00:54:26.000 He's an actor.
00:54:27.000 Actors are tough action, man.
00:54:29.000 I mean, I know a couple actors that are pretty cool, but not that many.
00:54:34.000 Most of them are really annoying.
00:54:36.000 Somebody said it best that actors are like comedians but with no punchlines. 1.00
00:54:41.000 They always want to talk and they go, shit, they're not giving you anything back. 0.98
00:54:44.000 At least like when Joey Diaz is talking, like you're going to be laughing and you're going to enjoy it. 1.00
00:54:48.000 You want them to talk.
00:54:49.000 But actors just talk, you know?
00:54:53.000 Actors always have the answers too.
00:54:55.000 If you're talking to actors, very rarely does an actor want to admit that they don't know why something is this or something is that.
00:55:02.000 They always have opinions, like really poorly thought out opinions, whether it's on politics or war or anything.
00:55:09.000 Have you recently followed somebody on Twitter because they just tweeted too much?
00:55:16.000 I just unfollowed them?
00:55:18.000 Yeah.
00:55:18.000 No, I hardly ever unfollow someone.
00:55:21.000 The only time I block people is if they're just looking to have arguments with me.
00:55:27.000 Boring. 1.00
00:55:27.000 But I follow the dumbest motherfuckers. 1.00
00:55:30.000 I follow so many dumb people. 1.00
00:55:32.000 I don't even want to tell you what they're doing. 0.99
00:55:34.000 I don't want to tell you who they are because some of them are just fantastic.
00:55:39.000 They're fantastic with their terrible tweets.
00:55:41.000 I just unfollowed Kevin Smith the other day because he literally spent two hours replying to every single person that has wrote him.
00:55:49.000 In like the last two months.
00:55:50.000 And you did it because it blocks up your family?
00:55:53.000 It was all him.
00:55:53.000 I had no one else.
00:55:54.000 I'm like, oh, next page.
00:55:56.000 Are you serious?
00:55:57.000 Yeah, but don't you like him though? 1.00
00:55:58.000 I do like him, but that's bullshit. 1.00
00:56:00.000 The dude needs to learn how to fucking use Twitter. 0.99
00:56:02.000 Well, how are you supposed to do it if you don't reply? 0.98
00:56:04.000 Direct messages to all those people.
00:56:06.000 If you're going to waste all our time, we don't care what the answer to this question is.
00:56:11.000 If you do, put that on a different website.
00:56:12.000 Yeah, but the direct messages...
00:56:13.000 The problem with the direct messages is that everybody else can't see it.
00:56:17.000 And one of the cool things about Kevin Smith is that all these people were following Kevin Smith and you get to see everybody saw Kevin Smith responded to you. 0.97
00:56:27.000 Well, do this video type shit then and reply at all. 0.87
00:56:30.000 You know, like go, okay, here's our next person from Twitter. 0.98
00:56:32.000 Why can't you just let the dude...
00:56:33.000 Because it just ruins everything else.
00:56:36.000 I hate it. 0.99
00:56:37.000 I met Kevin Smith and he's cool as fuck. 1.00
00:56:40.000 He's cool as fuck? 1.00
00:56:41.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00
00:56:42.000 I will never unfollow him. 1.00
00:56:43.000 He could put pages of shit on my Twitter. 1.00
00:56:46.000 And I will keep it going. 1.00
00:56:48.000 Dude, I love the dude.
00:56:49.000 I love the dude, but that's just uncalled for.
00:56:52.000 What do I think of Ben Stein calling Ron Paul anti-Semitic?
00:56:55.000 I don't think about it at all.
00:56:56.000 That's hilarious.
00:56:57.000 Those two old queens. 1.00
00:56:59.000 I would love to see Ben Stein and Ron Paul suck at each other's cops. 0.99
00:57:02.000 I would pay $1,000 for that video. 0.98
00:57:04.000 Have you seen Bruno yet?
00:57:05.000 No.
00:57:06.000 I have that on video too.
00:57:07.000 It's another thing I haven't watched.
00:57:08.000 Dude, watch it.
00:57:09.000 And it's...
00:57:10.000 That whole part with Ron Paul in it, ever since I've seen it, I always look at him and he looks like an old queen to me now.
00:57:15.000 Ron Paul.
00:57:16.000 Yeah.
00:57:16.000 Just how he handled that.
00:57:18.000 He handled like...
00:57:19.000 I don't know.
00:57:20.000 Well, he's super religious.
00:57:22.000 Right. 0.98
00:57:22.000 So it's possible he's gay. 0.98
00:57:24.000 Right. 0.86
00:57:24.000 If you're really intelligent and yet super religious, I always gotta go, alright, what's going on? 0.86
00:57:29.000 What are you doing?
00:57:30.000 Blowing guys?
00:57:30.000 What are you doing?
00:57:31.000 It's weird.
00:57:32.000 Yeah, there's something wrong with it. 0.99
00:57:32.000 It's either money or gay. 0.99
00:57:34.000 You're really intelligent and you're really buying into... 0.96
00:57:37.000 And this is not saying, you know, that there's no God.
00:57:39.000 It's not saying that there's no...
00:57:41.000 It's not something else.
00:57:43.000 I'm the first one to say that I don't know.
00:57:44.000 I have no idea.
00:57:45.000 But I'm also the first one to say that you don't know either.
00:57:48.000 And anybody that pays any attention to religion or follows religion at all and looks at the history of religion knows that it's a disjointed mess.
00:57:56.000 And nobody even knows the origins of all this stuff.
00:57:58.000 And nobody knows...
00:57:59.000 How much people altered the words, and what we do know about it is that even the Bible itself, the oldest version of the Bible, they didn't even use.
00:58:06.000 The Dead Sea Scrolls, that's the oldest version of the Bible by far.
00:58:10.000 They don't even use that.
00:58:12.000 Wouldn't you think that's like the best one?
00:58:14.000 Wouldn't you think that's like the purest version of it?
00:58:16.000 No, we're still busy using the New Testament.
00:58:18.000 The New Testament was created by Constantine and a bunch of bishops.
00:58:22.000 They piled it together.
00:58:23.000 And the Old Testament?
00:58:24.000 Well, the Old Testament, the real version of it was written in ancient Hebrew.
00:58:28.000 And to this day, in 2009, they only know three out of four words in ancient Hebrew. 0.97
00:58:33.000 That's 25 fucking percent of the words. 0.99
00:58:35.000 They don't know what the fuck it means. 0.99
00:58:37.000 And on top of that, letters also doubled as numbers back then. 0.98
00:58:41.000 Because there was no numbers.
00:58:42.000 So the letter A was also like the number one, like if you did it that way.
00:58:46.000 So there was like numerical value to words that was completely lost when they translated ancient Hebrew to Latin and then to Greek.
00:58:55.000 So like the word love and the word God, they have the same numerical value. 0.98
00:58:59.000 So we don't even really know what the fuck they were saying. 0.97
00:59:03.000 I'm not saying that there's no God, that there's not something else. 1.00
00:59:06.000 What I'm saying is to follow current religion as it's practiced and preached today, it's ridiculous. 1.00
00:59:13.000 It's ridiculous. 0.98
00:59:14.000 So if Ron Paul's really into that, come on. 0.99
00:59:19.000 Big ol' queen. 1.00
00:59:20.000 What is he doing?
00:59:22.000 Is Ron Paul a big ol' queen?
00:59:24.000 Look, if he just came out and said he's a big ol' queen, I would still vote for him, man. 1.00
00:59:27.000 I think he's a bad motherfucker. 0.99
00:59:28.000 I would like to see if somebody really tried to get in there and shake up the system and change the way the world is run. 0.99
00:59:37.000 You know, keep us out of other countries and to demolish the IRS and get rid of the CIA. That'd be fascinating.
00:59:45.000 Fascinating to see if someone could actually do that and not get killed.
00:59:48.000 I don't think they could.
00:59:50.000 Do you have a Kindle?
00:59:51.000 Yeah, I got a Kindle.
00:59:55.000 What?
00:59:55.000 I just got one of those Sony readers.
00:59:58.000 You got it for Christmas.
01:00:00.000 It's cool because Google bought all these books.
01:00:04.000 I don't know if you can do this with the Kindle or not, but with the Sony one, you can just go to Google and download all these free books onto it.
01:00:10.000 Really?
01:00:11.000 And they have your issue of Kung Fu Magazine or whatever, Karate Magazine, Black Belt.
01:00:16.000 Oh, that I was in?
01:00:17.000 Yeah, they have that on Google.
01:00:19.000 And so that's the Sony Reader, you can go and get that?
01:00:21.000 So you can get any book basically for free?
01:00:23.000 Well, not any book, but any of the ones on Google has like a ton of books, but they're all like old school out of print books.
01:00:29.000 I was bummed out, man.
01:00:30.000 I got the Kindle and I couldn't get any Hunter S. Thompson books.
01:00:33.000 There's only one book that he wrote that was for sale.
01:00:35.000 But they didn't have a great shark hunt.
01:00:37.000 Go to google.com backslash books and see if they have it there and you can just download it.
01:00:42.000 I don't know if it works on Kindle though.
01:00:44.000 Kindle reads PDF files.
01:00:46.000 It does?
01:00:46.000 But when it reads PDF files, it doesn't let you enlarge the text.
01:00:49.000 What?
01:00:50.000 Oh, you can do that on the Sony. 1.00
01:00:51.000 Fucking great piece of shit. 1.00
01:00:53.000 I got the wrong one. 1.00
01:00:54.000 Nah, I don't think so. 1.00
01:00:55.000 God damn it. 0.99
01:00:55.000 I think Kindle's still better probably. 0.99
01:00:56.000 And our question earlier when we were talking about can poker...
01:01:00.000 These bots on poker sites...
01:01:04.000 PokerJ...
01:01:07.000 John Carlos Alvarado, who's on the Rogan board, says, Poker sites catch bots with a program that can see if you click the same pixel every time you make a move.
01:01:17.000 Something that's impossible to do by a human.
01:01:21.000 That's why you have the program go over a couple pixels every time.
01:01:26.000 Yeah, Brian would change the program.
01:01:27.000 See, he figured it out already. 0.99
01:01:28.000 The thing sucks. 1.00
01:01:30.000 How was the shit I just took? 1.00
01:01:31.000 It was excellent. 0.99
01:01:36.000 Did I really forget everything I learned during the Taekwondo days?
01:01:39.000 No, I still remember some Taekwondo stuff.
01:01:42.000 Some stuff Taekwondo is effective, like you see Kung Lee uses a lot of Taekwondo.
01:01:46.000 He uses a lot of turn sidekicks and front leg sidekicks and front leg roundhouse kicks where he doesn't switch the legs.
01:01:53.000 There's a lot of power in that stuff.
01:01:55.000 It's just, it's not complete and Taekwondo needs other things.
01:01:58.000 It needs Muay Thai and wrestling and Jiu Jitsu and all that stuff.
01:02:01.000 But it helps.
01:02:03.000 There's some stuff in it that's different.
01:02:05.000 You know, the style of karate that Machida uses, like the leaping in and leaping out.
01:02:11.000 Nobody knew that that would work before.
01:02:13.000 Because no one was ever good at it that was good at other stuff as well.
01:02:16.000 and I think that's sort of the same thing with Kang Lee and Taekwondo these questions all suck Go back to Twitter. 0.99
01:02:32.000 Suck cock on my website. 1.00
01:02:35.000 You guys are a bunch of gay ass motherfuckers. 1.00
01:02:41.000 Stupid ass questions. 1.00
01:02:47.000 Oh, same questions with same people. 1.00
01:02:55.000 Here's a good question.
01:02:56.000 Would you get your kid circumcised in this day and age because most guys in America are cut?
01:03:00.000 No.
01:03:01.000 I am not gonna- If I have a boy, this new baby, we don't know what it is yet.
01:03:04.000 We'll find out soon. 1.00
01:03:06.000 And if it's a boy, I'm gonna let him have a big elephant dick. 1.00
01:03:09.000 You're disgusting, dude. 1.00
01:03:10.000 That's so rude. 1.00
01:03:10.000 Why do you care what my baby's dick looks like? 1.00
01:03:16.000 Cause I'm gonna have to watch a lot of video of it. 1.00
01:03:18.000 No.
01:03:20.000 No, I mean, I was thinking of that just the other day.
01:03:22.000 It's so funny that this person asked that. 1.00
01:03:24.000 Your dick comes out a certain way. 1.00
01:03:26.000 I've seen you in pornos, and it covers it like a turtleneck. 1.00
01:03:29.000 Have you ever seen porn and just felt bad for the poor guy? 1.00
01:03:32.000 You guys have a fucking creep dick? 1.00
01:03:33.000 Yeah, when he's got a bad circumcision. 1.00
01:03:35.000 But have you talked to girls about this? 1.00
01:03:37.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
01:03:38.000 Girls are like, oh my god, he had an uncircumcised dick. 1.00
01:03:40.000 It was so disgusting. 1.00
01:03:41.000 That kills his chances. 1.00
01:03:42.000 I've talked to girls that have sucked uncircumcised dicks and they don't care. 1.00
01:03:46.000 Really? 1.00
01:03:46.000 It's a little different, yeah. 1.00
01:03:48.000 Any girl that would care is a cunt. 1.00
01:03:49.000 It's good. 1.00
01:03:50.000 It would keep cunts away from my boy. 1.00
01:03:52.000 Some picky cunt who doesn't like an uncircumcised dick. 1.00
01:03:56.000 Why? 1.00
01:03:57.000 Do you think it's just mean? 0.99
01:03:58.000 It's ridiculous. 0.97
01:03:59.000 It's totally unnecessary and it feels better, supposedly. 0.92
01:04:03.000 I don't need help coming faster.
01:04:04.000 It's not about help coming faster.
01:04:06.000 It actually feels better.
01:04:08.000 It's more sensitive.
01:04:09.000 It's not whether or not you come faster.
01:04:11.000 It's more enjoyment. 1.00
01:04:12.000 Silly, man. 1.00
01:04:14.000 I'm not getting my fucking kids hurt. 1.00
01:04:16.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00
01:04:20.000 You're a fucking gay weirdo. 1.00
01:04:22.000 I'm so glad. 1.00
01:04:24.000 That's something I think every day.
01:04:26.000 I'm like, thank you, Dad.
01:04:28.000 There's websites out there where dudes try to regrow their skin.
01:04:32.000 It's a long-term process. 0.99
01:04:34.000 To re-circumcise their dick, they stretch it out. 1.00
01:04:37.000 They have little things like an attachment that you clip onto the tip of your dick and it moves over the top. 1.00
01:04:42.000 They get more infections and dirt inside there. 1.00
01:04:47.000 Clean your dick. 1.00
01:04:49.000 That's my answer to that. 1.00
01:04:50.000 Clean your fucking dick. 1.00
01:04:51.000 Look, how hard is it to wash your dick? 1.00
01:04:53.000 I hate it. 1.00
01:04:54.000 Dirty dick people should not have no circumcisions. 1.00
01:04:58.000 No circumcisions. 1.00
01:05:00.000 If you're a cleanly person, like you should be, like my boy will be, he will have an uncircumcised dick, goddammit. 1.00
01:05:06.000 Have you ever... 1.00
01:05:06.000 Oh, I think we already talked about that. 1.00
01:05:08.000 What? 1.00
01:05:09.000 Have you ever ate out a girl that had really long pussy lips? 1.00
01:05:11.000 Yeah, I like that. 1.00
01:05:13.000 There's one where it gets stretched probably that far.
01:05:15.000 It was like chewing gum when it was in your mouth.
01:05:20.000 *singing* See this is too old.
01:05:29.000 These questions are, like, old.
01:05:30.000 This is, like, an hour ago.
01:05:32.000 I know, that's the problem.
01:05:33.000 Is Mark Hayden funny?
01:05:34.000 His Twitter sure is.
01:05:35.000 His Twitter is the bomb diggity.
01:05:37.000 What is it?
01:05:38.000 The Mark Hayden?
01:05:39.000 I think he changed it to The Mark Gayden.
01:05:41.000 I'm starting to think it's not real.
01:05:44.000 What do you mean?
01:05:44.000 Who changed the name of it?
01:05:45.000 I don't know.
01:05:46.000 No.
01:05:47.000 Did someone change the name of it?
01:05:49.000 Whoever's doing it, dude.
01:05:50.000 Why would they do that, man?
01:05:51.000 We got a thing going on. 1.00
01:05:54.000 Motherfuckers. 1.00
01:05:54.000 What are you doing? 1.00
01:05:57.000 Do you think on our lifetime microchip system like they do with dogs where it's scanned instant access?
01:06:02.000 Yeah, I think that's going to happen.
01:06:04.000 Yeah, I think it's very possible there's going to be some sort of a microchip thing where human beings are going to be scanned into a database. 0.99
01:06:11.000 The real problem is there's so many There's so many goddamn people. 0.98
01:06:16.000 How do you do that? 0.99
01:06:16.000 How do you keep track of it? 0.99
01:06:17.000 Who's going to watch it?
01:06:18.000 Like people used to say, oh man, what if your phones are bugged?
01:06:21.000 Who's bugging these phones?
01:06:23.000 Workers?
01:06:23.000 Government workers?
01:06:24.000 How many people are they watching?
01:06:27.000 Is there one person for every person out there?
01:06:29.000 Are they just circling on you because they know you sell pot?
01:06:32.000 Like, come on, man. 0.99
01:06:33.000 How many fucking people are out there that could actually be monitoring people's phones? 0.98
01:06:38.000 Well, now they have the technology where they can just sit there and record every single phone call and it transcribes it like dragon speak but times 50 technology and it pretty much looks for keywords like money, drug, you know... 0.99
01:06:54.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
01:06:55.000 I've heard that before.
01:06:57.000 There's things like video programs.
01:06:59.000 Was it called Predator or something like that?
01:07:00.000 They had one that would go through the internet and search for Al-Qaeda, search for terrorists, search for certain specific keywords.
01:07:13.000 Peak oil versus science.
01:07:15.000 You know what, man? 0.99
01:07:16.000 I think they're going to figure out some other shit besides oil. 0.99
01:07:19.000 I think it makes sense. 0.98
01:07:20.000 I think, you know, there's a lot of stuff they could do with agriculture.
01:07:23.000 There's a lot of stuff they could do with hydrogen.
01:07:25.000 There's a lot of stuff.
01:07:26.000 It's just we could have come up with something else.
01:07:29.000 It's just we got bamboozled into going the way of the oil because it was easy and cheap and it was already in place.
01:07:35.000 And we stayed with oil.
01:07:36.000 But I don't think society is going to crumble because we run out of oil.
01:07:40.000 I think we'll come up with something just as good.
01:07:42.000 Did you hear those new Mini Coopers in the cold, the electric ones?
01:07:47.000 In cold weather, it only gets half the power.
01:07:51.000 How big is that? 0.97
01:07:53.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99
01:07:54.000 Yeah. 0.88
01:07:54.000 Because they're only good for like 100 miles as it is. 0.88
01:07:57.000 Right.
01:07:57.000 So in cold weather, it goes for 50 miles.
01:07:58.000 50 miles.
01:07:59.000 That makes sense.
01:08:00.000 Because your battery's more dead in cold weather.
01:08:03.000 Yep. 1.00
01:08:03.000 Oh, what a piece of shit. 1.00
01:08:05.000 Yeah, but imagine buying that car. 1.00
01:08:06.000 That's an expensive car.
01:08:08.000 Imagine...
01:08:08.000 You know what Top Gear did?
01:08:10.000 You know that show Top Gear?
01:08:11.000 Yeah.
01:08:11.000 The BBC, awesome show.
01:08:12.000 They took one of those Priuses, an electric car...
01:08:16.000 And they drove it around a track with a, Prius is a hybrid, right?
01:08:21.000 They drove it around a track with an M3. And all the M3 had to do was keep up with the Prius.
01:08:27.000 That's all it had to do.
01:08:28.000 The Prius went full blast around the track, and the M3, obviously a much, much faster car.
01:08:32.000 All it had to do was keep up.
01:08:33.000 The Prius got 13 miles to the gallon, and the M3 got 19. So when the Prius drives hard, it's just as much of a piece of shit as any other car. 1.00
01:08:44.000 It's nonsense. 1.00
01:08:46.000 It's fake being green.
01:08:48.000 And apparently, it's much more toxic to the environment to create a Prius than it is to create a other car.
01:08:53.000 Well, I thought how it worked is Priuses only are electric under 25 miles an hour or something like that.
01:09:00.000 Yeah, for stop-and-go traffic, it's...
01:09:02.000 It's running off battery.
01:09:03.000 Over that, it's just a normal car.
01:09:05.000 That makes sense.
01:09:06.000 And over that, as a normal car, it's terrible.
01:09:09.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
01:09:10.000 It's just a small, shitty car. 1.00
01:09:11.000 Terrible goddamn piece of shit. 1.00
01:09:14.000 Alright. 1.00
01:09:20.000 Alright.
01:09:22.000 That was B.B. Jones with a circumcision question.
01:09:26.000 It's so weird you ask that because I was just thinking that the other day.
01:09:29.000 It's a good question, man.
01:09:30.000 That's a good question.
01:09:31.000 That's a weird thing with people. 1.00
01:09:33.000 Do you really worry about what your kid's dick looks like? 0.99
01:09:36.000 Well, I just think every day how thankful I am. 1.00
01:09:41.000 You're so silly. 1.00
01:09:43.000 If I had you a little dick, I would cry myself to sleep every night. 1.00
01:09:46.000 Did you see? 0.99
01:09:47.000 Somebody posted this on the board today about Indian men and that there's like some, what is it, 60% of Indian men, I don't know if this is a true statistic, somebody, I've been rocked, posted it, so take it with a grain of salt.
01:10:04.000 60% of Indian men cannot use a standard condom.
01:10:08.000 One in five condoms fall off during intercourse.
01:10:11.000 So this is from the BBC. Is it true?
01:10:14.000 I don't know, but we're going to go to it. 0.99
01:10:16.000 Damn, the BBC. We need to go to India, dude, and fuck some women. 1.00
01:10:23.000 Wow, it really is. 1.00
01:10:24.000 Wow, it's true.
01:10:25.000 A survey of more than a thousand men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for the majority of Indian men.
01:10:34.000 That's crazy.
01:10:35.000 That's sad. 1.00
01:10:37.000 As a magnum user, I feel for you, bitch. 1.00
01:10:44.000 Wow. 0.99
01:10:45.000 Scientists even checked their sample, checked to see if their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion, and urban and rural dwellers. 0.99
01:10:53.000 So even like the peasants, you know, even the slaves in India have little dicks. 0.99
01:10:59.000 So sad. 0.99
01:11:00.000 At least the peasants in America, like the lower class in America, are generally thought to have the biggest dicks. 0.99
01:11:06.000 Right? 1.00
01:11:07.000 Slaves. 1.00
01:11:07.000 Back in the day when they had slaves, those guys almost had monster horse dicks. 1.00
01:11:11.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:11:12.000 How many white women do you think fucked slaves back then? 1.00
01:11:14.000 Snuck in. 1.00
01:11:15.000 Tons of them.
01:11:15.000 Do you think they did?
01:11:16.000 Hell yeah. 1.00
01:11:17.000 When their husbands stopped fucking them, right? 1.00
01:11:18.000 Yep. 1.00
01:11:19.000 Snuck in and just got some...
01:11:21.000 Alabama black snake. 0.93
01:11:24.000 How many white women do you think had babies with slaves back then? 1.00
01:11:27.000 There was a lot of dead babies.
01:11:29.000 Really?
01:11:30.000 I bet. 1.00
01:11:30.000 Well, there was a lot of white guys who would fuck their black slaves. 1.00
01:11:34.000 That was very common. 1.00
01:11:35.000 And have babies with their black slaves. 1.00
01:11:37.000 What a fuck that must have been. 1.00
01:11:39.000 How weird must that have been to the guy who was the father Would fuck the slave, have a baby with the slave, the slave would have his baby, and he would see this half-white baby, and he would just leave the half-white baby with the slaves and let them take care of it. 1.00
01:11:54.000 Like, he wouldn't even bring it in as his kid, just because of a race thing. 1.00
01:11:58.000 That must be, that must have been fucking enough. 0.99
01:12:01.000 Talk about, like, haunting your conscience. 0.99
01:12:04.000 How weird is witch trials?
01:12:06.000 You know, the old-school witch trials, where they would, like, weigh witches, or it still goes on today, you know?
01:12:11.000 In Africa. 0.56
01:12:12.000 Yeah, in Africa.
01:12:12.000 In Africa, they still have a huge problem with people accusing people of being bewitched.
01:12:16.000 Remember that video where they caught them on fire and they're just sitting there on fire?
01:12:20.000 Yeah, they're beating with sticks and kicking them. 0.77
01:12:21.000 This is real recent.
01:12:22.000 Here, I'll put it on Twitter.
01:12:24.000 I wrote a blog article about it.
01:12:26.000 That's one of the worst videos.
01:12:28.000 That and the Hong Kong girl snorting herself to death. 1.00
01:12:30.000 Yeah, there's that video that you can see this Hong Kong girl. 1.00
01:12:33.000 She snorts this gigantic line of ketamine. 1.00
01:12:36.000 Ketamine is a fucking cat tranquilizer. 1.00
01:12:39.000 And a lot of crazy kids are doing this. 1.00
01:12:41.000 She snorted this gigantic line for a video and then wound up dying. 1.00
01:12:45.000 The video is available online along with the story.
01:12:51.000 I'm trying to find the...
01:12:52.000 I'm going to put that article online that I wrote about...
01:12:58.000 I think it was called Humanity Gone Haywire.
01:13:03.000 I think that was the...
01:13:08.000 That was the name of the article.
01:13:10.000 But it was all about how nutty it is that there's this, like, real problem they have right now.
01:13:18.000 I don't know when that was from.
01:13:20.000 There's no search option? 0.90
01:13:22.000 My blog archives are gay. 0.97
01:13:24.000 Look at that. 0.95
01:13:25.000 There's no search option.
01:13:26.000 That's weird.
01:13:27.000 I have a search option.
01:13:28.000 This is terrible.
01:13:30.000 let's check for tell you dude Look at that. 1.00
01:13:41.000 My fucking website is... 0.99
01:13:43.000 This is way better. 1.00
01:13:46.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:13:47.000 Google is way better for searching than my own fucking website. 0.99
01:13:55.000 My website's being redesigned right now, people. 0.99
01:14:00.000 You've been saying that for eight years.
01:14:02.000 Yeah, it's been being designed for eight years.
01:14:04.000 It's all true. 0.99
01:14:06.000 God damn it. 0.99
01:14:07.000 Alright, let me find out the... 1.00
01:14:09.000 Twitter this bitch Oh Oh Risen! 1.00
01:14:26.000 - Hey Charles. 0.99
01:14:28.000 All right everybody, 'cause we're gonna do it. - All right, I put it.
01:14:41.000 I just put it up on Twitter.
01:14:45.000 If you're bored and you want to read the thing about witchcraft...
01:14:49.000 Watch the video if it's still there.
01:14:51.000 Yeah, it's really creepy.
01:14:52.000 You know, a funny thing about witchcraft in America, like everybody knows about the Salem witch trials.
01:14:57.000 Well, what I read, the biggest connection they have to what happened there and then, why everybody thought they were being possessed and there was witchcraft going on, was that there was a late frost and that the wheat got frozen and when it thawed out, apparently when that happens, when there's a late frost and wheat freezes and thaws out, it grows a certain fungus on it.
01:15:21.000 And this certain fungus is called ergot.
01:15:24.000 And ergot has, it's like really similar, uh, or identical rather chemically to LSD. So when they would take this bread that they would make from this wheat that had grown this fungus on it, these people would fucking trip their balls off. 0.99
01:15:39.000 They would have these crazy, horrifying, bad acid trips. 0.97
01:15:42.000 So they literally thought they were under a spell, which totally makes sense. 1.00
01:15:47.000 And they just started burning bitches. 1.00
01:15:50.000 And women always want to say that it's, oh, you know, men were, you know, back then, you know, men were, the spell that a woman would cast upon her, you know, upon him with her beauty was just too perplexing and the men couldn't deal with the fact that women had all those powers that killed them. 0.99
01:16:06.000 Eh, come on. 0.99
01:16:07.000 Guys have been raping chicks forever. 1.00
01:16:09.000 You tell me they've got to stop back then? 0.96
01:16:11.000 This is not that perplexing.
01:16:15.000 Guys want to shoot a load, they shoot a load. 0.99
01:16:18.000 Guys want to shoot a load, they jerk off, they don't want to shoot a load anymore. 1.00
01:16:21.000 They're not going to start brewing people because they want to fuck them. 1.00
01:16:24.000 I don't believe that. 0.96
01:16:25.000 I think it's a much more likely scenario that this fungus grew on this wheat because they had already taken soil samples and so they had known from their, you know, whatever climatological studies they used to figure out how cold it was during a specific time that there was a late frost.
01:16:43.000 There was some evidence that there was a late frost and that this ergot was also found somehow or another during this time period.
01:16:50.000 So, I think it's just speculation, but it's much more educated speculation than the idea that the men were under the spell of these women and they decided to kill them.
01:16:59.000 That doesn't make any sense. 0.99
01:17:02.000 I think they probably did the acid from the wheat and then killed the cunts. 0.98
01:17:05.000 That's probably what it was. 0.98
01:17:06.000 You know, that's why it was a witch trial. 1.00
01:17:08.000 Those were probably the cuntiest women in the town. 1.00
01:17:10.000 They probably just, let's cook these bitches. 1.00
01:17:11.000 Major bitches. 1.00
01:17:12.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:17:12.000 Like, these chicks are bad energy. 1.00
01:17:14.000 Like, you'd be around them like, fucking bitches giving me bad vibes. 1.00
01:17:17.000 You know, because you're all acid and out. 1.00
01:17:19.000 They probably just started lighting them on fire. 1.00
01:17:21.000 Like, fucking, let's kill this bitch. 1.00
01:17:22.000 Why are we having her around? 1.00
01:17:23.000 Yeah.
01:17:24.000 Imagine if that's really what the witch trials were about. 1.00
01:17:26.000 Maybe, like, afterwards, people were so nice. 1.00
01:17:28.000 They killed all the cunts off. 0.99
01:17:30.000 Can you imagine that? 1.00
01:17:34.000 Is that possible, ladies and gentlemen?
01:17:36.000 Does that make sense? 1.00
01:17:36.000 Who the fuck is calling me during my goddamn podcast? 1.00
01:17:39.000 Tate Fletcher. 1.00
01:17:41.000 You know, I'm on fucking Ustream, bitch. 1.00
01:17:44.000 How dare you? 1.00
01:17:46.000 Alright, let's go back to the questions, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:50.000 Have I ever seen the Northern Lights in Iceland?
01:17:52.000 No, I've never seen them in purpose.
01:17:54.000 That'd be so awesome. 0.99
01:17:54.000 I've seen some shit online, though. 0.99
01:17:56.000 It looks incredible. 0.99
01:17:57.000 It's like the sky becomes like a desktop screensaver.
01:18:00.000 I've been seeing way more Falling Stars lately.
01:18:03.000 Really?
01:18:03.000 Like, it's almost getting to the point where it's kind of ridiculous.
01:18:06.000 Yeah, it's...
01:18:07.000 There's a meteor coming.
01:18:08.000 Maybe once a week, maybe, I see it.
01:18:10.000 At least one.
01:18:11.000 Could you imagine?
01:18:12.000 We know for...
01:18:13.000 I mean...
01:18:13.000 It doesn't seem like it's real.
01:18:15.000 Like, you sit and talk about, like, asteroid impacts.
01:18:18.000 Oh, the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
01:18:21.000 Or the one that killed, you know, everything before that.
01:18:24.000 The mass extinction before that 250 million years ago.
01:18:26.000 Or the one that ended the Ice Age 10,500 years ago.
01:18:30.000 I mean, there's all this speculation about asteroids.
01:18:31.000 But the real reality is there are gigantic, hundreds of thousands of gigantic rocks in space that can fuck us up.
01:18:42.000 And every now and then, one comes crashing down.
01:18:45.000 It's happened many, many, many, many, many times over the history of the life of the Earth.
01:18:51.000 It's happened so many times.
01:18:52.000 And it could easily happen today.
01:18:55.000 It could easily happen tomorrow.
01:18:57.000 You could easily have one that comes from behind the sun and we can't see it until it's too late.
01:19:01.000 And then, boom! 0.63
01:19:05.000 fucks the whole world up. 0.96
01:19:07.000 That's so possible.
01:19:08.000 We don't like to think it's possible because it's never happened, but I always like to, I always say it's like an anthill.
01:19:15.000 That human life is like an anthill.
01:19:17.000 Like if you are an ant and you're living in an anthill, you were probably born in that anthill and that anthill is all you've ever known.
01:19:24.000 I mean, how long do ants live?
01:19:25.000 Like a week, a couple weeks, something like that.
01:19:28.000 So say like this anthill's been around for six months.
01:19:30.000 That's That's been through the generations after generations long dead have made this anthill. 0.92
01:19:35.000 And then, you know, you're toiling away in your little anthill and one day some kid is walking through the field and he sees that anthill and just boom, boom, just starts to stomp on it for no fucking reason.
01:19:45.000 And then your anthill's crushed out of nowhere.
01:19:47.000 You never thought it was going to happen.
01:19:49.000 It's always been fine.
01:19:50.000 Everything's always been cool at the anthill.
01:19:52.000 If you had a Take a guess and you had to make a gamble, you would say, yeah, yeah, this anthill's always gonna be here.
01:19:57.000 It's always been here, always will be here.
01:19:59.000 BAM! Some kid just stomps the fuck out of it. 1.00
01:20:02.000 That could happen to people. 0.98
01:20:03.000 That could happen to Earth. 0.93
01:20:04.000 Katrina.
01:20:05.000 Katrina.
01:20:05.000 How about Detroit?
01:20:06.000 It's happening like that in Detroit.
01:20:08.000 Slow.
01:20:08.000 Yeah, slow.
01:20:09.000 Slowly.
01:20:09.000 Somebody has a magnifying glass on that Detroit.
01:20:12.000 Dude, I watched Anthony Bourdain had a show about Michigan the other night, and they were driving through Detroit.
01:20:17.000 Horrible show.
01:20:18.000 Oh, it was horrible.
01:20:20.000 Terrible.
01:20:20.000 You ever watch the Anthony Bourdain show?
01:20:22.000 It's a good show.
01:20:22.000 It makes you hungry.
01:20:24.000 Oh, the food show?
01:20:25.000 Yeah, he eats.
01:20:26.000 No reservations? 1.00
01:20:27.000 It's a fucking show. 1.00
01:20:28.000 Makes me so hungry. 1.00
01:20:29.000 NASA says there's an asteroid with the possibility of hitting Earth in 2029.
01:20:38.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of them out there that they don't know about. 0.99
01:20:42.000 NASA doesn't have shit. 0.99
01:20:43.000 The problem is the sky's too goddamn big. 1.00
01:20:46.000 I mean, it's covering everywhere. 0.99
01:20:48.000 Shit's coming from the North Pole and the South Pole, and you never know where something's coming from. 0.99
01:20:53.000 I mean, it could be coming from anywhere. 0.99
01:20:55.000 You never know.
01:20:57.000 There could be something heading our way that we just haven't picked up on.
01:21:00.000 It could be behind something, we don't see it.
01:21:02.000 Gravity distorts our view of things as well.
01:21:05.000 Like if you look at the sun, you can literally, you know, you look at the sun of the telescope, you can see things behind the sun because of the distortion and the gravity of the sun because it's so massive.
01:21:14.000 I don't understand how that works, but that apparently is how it works.
01:21:18.000 And so there's occasionally things that could be hiding behind something that's coming straight at us and we don't even fucking see it until it's too late.
01:21:25.000 You know, there's just not enough human beings out there monitoring the sky to really accurately predict, you know, oh, we have 100% clear skies, nothing's going to hit us for the next 200 years.
01:21:36.000 They don't know that.
01:21:37.000 They can't say that. 0.98
01:21:38.000 There's always something that comes real close that just barely misses us and they go, whoa, holy shit, that was three miles long and it missed us by 200,000 miles. 0.91
01:21:46.000 That's not much, you know? 1.00
01:21:53.000 Okay, let's go to some questions you dirty bitches. 1.00
01:22:01.000 Nibiru in 2012 says the Antichrist. 0.99
01:22:04.000 Oh man, that's what some people think.
01:22:06.000 Did you ever see the 2012 movie?
01:22:08.000 Yes.
01:22:09.000 Horrendously bad.
01:22:10.000 Really bad, not even worth watching. 0.93
01:22:11.000 Even the special effects sucked.
01:22:13.000 Oh really?
01:22:13.000 I mean it was awesome things were happening but it didn't look real.
01:22:17.000 Like the cars, there's a limo and it's jumping things and landing fine and driving off and it looked all computer generated and silly. 0.90
01:22:26.000 Every five seconds, the fucking, you know, the car was almost going off the cliff, but barely made it, you know? 0.95
01:22:32.000 It's like, come on. 0.99
01:22:33.000 Stop. 0.98
01:22:34.000 Stop with your nonsense. 0.97
01:22:35.000 This guy here. 0.98
01:22:45.000 Easy dog double.
01:22:48.000 EasyDog007 says, Yeah, I believe in God.
01:22:51.000 How did everything originate?
01:22:54.000 But how did God start?
01:22:56.000 Hmm.
01:22:57.000 Oh, that's an easy question.
01:22:59.000 How do you answer it?
01:23:02.000 God...
01:23:05.000 What are you doing?
01:23:08.000 The real problem is believing in anything.
01:23:11.000 That's the real problem.
01:23:13.000 The real problem is believing in anything.
01:23:14.000 It's not believing in God or believing in Jesus.
01:23:16.000 The real problem is believing in anything.
01:23:17.000 You don't know.
01:23:19.000 You don't know.
01:23:19.000 God created a really good video game and we're all in it.
01:23:23.000 That's possible.
01:23:24.000 That this is like God's version of The Sims.
01:23:26.000 Right.
01:23:27.000 And this is on somebody's phone.
01:23:30.000 We're not even like a good video game. 0.99
01:23:32.000 We're just like a fucking cell phone video game. 0.99
01:23:34.000 Some shit that people play when they kill time, waiting in line at the supermarket. 1.00
01:23:38.000 Right, right. 1.00
01:23:39.000 We're a breaker or whatever it's called.
01:23:41.000 The real problem with believing in God is that believing in God just makes people feel better.
01:23:45.000 It's not saying that God doesn't exist.
01:23:47.000 It's very possible that God exists.
01:23:49.000 But you don't have the information.
01:23:52.000 No one does.
01:23:53.000 You can decide that you have that information because it empowers you.
01:23:57.000 You can decide that there's a God because it makes you feel more comfortable, or it makes you feel more, you know, that there's a future to this world, and after you die, there's something waiting for you, and that gives you confidence, and that gives you, it can empower you.
01:24:10.000 And that works for a lot of people.
01:24:11.000 I know a lot of fighters who are very religious, and that belief in God, that actually empowers them.
01:24:17.000 And it can work that way, but it really is just It's just a psychological tool that they're using to empower them.
01:24:24.000 It doesn't necessarily help them.
01:24:26.000 What helps them is the state of mind that they put themselves in by believing in God.
01:24:32.000 It's really kind of a funny thing.
01:24:34.000 It's a catch-22.
01:24:35.000 Believing in God can empower you.
01:24:37.000 The ideas of Christianity are very empowering ideas.
01:24:40.000 The ideas that love your man as if he's you and do unto others as if you would have them do unto yourself and turn the other cheek and don't be violent and be helping and be loving.
01:24:52.000 And be humble and worship God.
01:24:54.000 The idea of God, what God is, God is life and energy and the whole universe and that you treat the whole process as its one gigantic, fantastic thing.
01:25:04.000 And that in going to a religious service and practicing any sort of a religion and sticking to a certain ethic, that what you're doing is committing to positive energy.
01:25:18.000 And if you commit to that positive energy and those positive thoughts and that positive way of thinking, that's empowering.
01:25:24.000 And that really will help you.
01:25:26.000 And if you really do believe that you have a destiny and that God has carved out this destiny for you, that's an empowering thing. 0.99
01:25:33.000 That shit will absolutely make you better at things. 0.98
01:25:36.000 You say, that's evidence of God, that's evidence of Jesus. 1.00
01:25:39.000 Well, maybe, but more likely it's evidence that you've put yourself in the exact proper state of mind to achieve things.
01:25:46.000 By thinking positive and having positive energy and being a loving Christian, by doing all those things, you've put the good energy out there and you've given yourself confidence because you're doing the right thing and you've given yourself a strong belief in yourself because you're following the right path.
01:26:03.000 And in doing that, that's very empowering.
01:26:05.000 That's how God is real.
01:26:06.000 That's how religion is real.
01:26:08.000 But what it really all is, at the heart of it, is you tuning in to the correct frequency of the universe with the least amount of resistance.
01:26:16.000 The least amount of resistance from you.
01:26:18.000 The least amount of negative thinking.
01:26:20.000 The least amount of...
01:26:21.000 When I was a kid, I'd get in arguments all the time with everybody about anything.
01:26:27.000 And really... 0.78
01:26:29.000 I was just a knucklehead. 1.00
01:26:30.000 I was just a dumb fuck. 1.00
01:26:31.000 But I didn't realize that by doing that, by creating all this drama in my life, it was just distracting the shit out of me and it was keeping me from doing things that I wanted to do. 1.00
01:26:42.000 It was keeping me from being happy and comfortable and friendly.
01:26:45.000 I was constantly in a state of causing trouble.
01:26:50.000 And causing drama and creating all these obstacles in my own life.
01:26:54.000 And I didn't realize it at the time.
01:26:56.000 And I always thought of people that were religious.
01:26:58.000 I always thought, well, there's got to be a lot of power in that.
01:27:01.000 Because I was afraid of a dude who was religious, who was on one of the U.S. Taekwondo teams back when I was fighting.
01:27:08.000 There was this dude, I think his name was Bobby Clayton.
01:27:12.000 I think that's his name. 0.94
01:27:14.000 He wasn't the best guy, but he was crazy religious, and that used to scare the shit out of me. 1.00
01:27:19.000 This dude used to read the Bible every day, and this dude was super, super, super religious, and he really believed in himself. 0.77
01:27:26.000 I was not very religious.
01:27:28.000 Even though I was doing really well in these tournaments, and I was beating a lot of really good guys, there was something about this dude and his religion that scared me. 1.00
01:27:36.000 On paper, he shouldn't have been the scariest guy to me, but he was, for whatever reason, because this dude was really religious.
01:27:44.000 That belief that he had in himself, the belief in his faith, all that shit is empowering to him, and I recognize that it was empowering to him, that he was really legit about it, and that his super religious behavior, he was never...
01:28:00.000 He never swore. 0.74
01:28:01.000 He didn't drink.
01:28:02.000 He was friendly to everyone.
01:28:03.000 He was really, really, really dedicated.
01:28:06.000 And that made me nervous.
01:28:10.000 I think religion is empowering.
01:28:12.000 Brian has been a huge...
01:28:15.000 I'm an advocate of Scientology ever since he moved to Hollywood, right?
01:28:19.000 Tell us about your experiences with Scientology. 0.99
01:28:22.000 They're sluts. 1.00
01:28:24.000 They're real easy to sleep with. 1.00
01:28:26.000 Really?
01:28:27.000 You just have to trick them and just a lot of positive energy and stuff like that.
01:28:31.000 Is that what you do?
01:28:32.000 Yeah, and you just take their money and they sleep with you. 1.00
01:28:34.000 It's great. 1.00
01:28:34.000 Damn. 1.00
01:28:35.000 Do you hear that? 1.00
01:28:38.000 Does Scientology have a thing with fucking? 1.00
01:28:40.000 Are you allowed to fuck? 1.00
01:28:40.000 No, yeah, you're allowed to fuck. 1.00
01:28:42.000 All it is... 1.00
01:28:43.000 No, you don't have to be married or anything?
01:28:45.000 No, I don't think so.
01:28:46.000 Yeah, when any new religion comes around, you can't be... 1.00
01:28:49.000 I'm not a Scientologist, by the way.
01:28:50.000 He's lying.
01:28:54.000 I think if I had to pick one religion, like if you had to do it, I'd be Buddhist.
01:28:59.000 Yeah, that seems like the one that makes the most sense. 1.00
01:29:02.000 But the problem with being a Buddhist is you gotta hang around with a bunch of fucking phonies. 0.99
01:29:06.000 A bunch of people who are pretending to be Buddhists. 1.00
01:29:09.000 You know? 0.99
01:29:10.000 Yeah, they all have smelly feet. 0.97
01:29:12.000 Yeah, it's like the idea of hippies. 0.97
01:29:15.000 It's all good on paper, but the real problem with hippies is they don't want to work. 1.00
01:29:21.000 They're fucking lazy and stupid, a lot of them. 1.00
01:29:24.000 It's like the stereotypes of the pot-smoking, lazy ne'er-do-wells. 1.00
01:29:31.000 That's accurate in a lot of ways.
01:29:33.000 That's the real problem with hippies. 0.96
01:29:36.000 What's Buddhist women look like? 1.00
01:29:38.000 I don't think I've ever seen a Buddhist woman.
01:29:39.000 They look like vegetarians.
01:29:41.000 Oh, really?
01:29:41.000 Yeah.
01:29:41.000 Do they have like bald heads?
01:29:44.000 No.
01:29:44.000 Orange robes?
01:29:45.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I gotta take a shit again. 1.00
01:29:48.000 So, I can't believe this. 0.99
01:29:49.000 We ate sausage subs at this local place down the street.
01:29:52.000 They're a little bit too strong.
01:29:54.000 Too powerful.
01:29:55.000 524 viewers.
01:29:56.000 I appreciate this.
01:29:57.000 It'll be only a couple minutes, but Brian will answer questions while I'm gone.
01:30:00.000 I'll only be gone for a couple minutes.
01:30:01.000 My bathroom's right down here.
01:30:02.000 I'll be right back.
01:30:05.000 Alright.
01:30:05.000 What's the chemical...
01:30:06.000 For Bod Rail, you asked what the chemical structure on Joe's shirt on the Spike Comedy Central.
01:30:14.000 If you ask questions, you can ask questions and I'll answer them.
01:30:17.000 And you relay what I'm saying.
01:30:18.000 How about that?
01:30:19.000 That's DMT, though.
01:30:20.000 Yeah.
01:30:21.000 And those shirts will be for sale soon.
01:30:24.000 And those shirts will be for sale soon.
01:30:26.000 Joe will have it on his website.
01:30:28.000 They're trying to get the website together to sell.
01:30:31.000 He's going to have a whole bunch of different kinds of shirts and clothing, I guess.
01:30:34.000 So that'll be coming soon.
01:30:36.000 It's a whole clothing line.
01:30:39.000 It's a whole clothing line. 1.00
01:30:40.000 Do you ever get tired of all these stupid people asking you about drugs? 1.00
01:30:47.000 I think you just get tired of stupid people who don't care about drugs. 1.00
01:30:51.000 Yeah, I don't get tired of drug questions. 1.00
01:30:54.000 No, he doesn't get tired of...
01:30:55.000 I have many drug questions on my cell phone, you know?
01:30:57.000 What else?
01:31:08.000 A lot of the same questions.
01:31:15.000 Have you ever heard of Yuri Geller?
01:31:18.000 That's not one of the same ones.
01:31:21.000 Psychic?
01:31:22.000 There you go.
01:31:25.000 Should I take DMT? No.
01:31:28.000 You should not take DMT if you're asking Joe on a Twitter.
01:31:32.000 Yeah.
01:31:32.000 If you're...
01:31:36.000 Never mind.
01:31:36.000 Are aliens among us?
01:31:45.000 Yes, they're Asian.
01:31:49.000 Ryan thinks that all aliens are Asians.
01:31:51.000 Yeah.
01:31:53.000 I think all aliens are Asian or some kind of breed of Asian. 0.97
01:31:58.000 Because they're just higher technology than us regular white people. 0.58
01:32:05.000 We're more cavemen. 0.95
01:32:07.000 They're more alien.
01:32:10.000 Let's see.
01:32:11.000 Let's go back to your Rogan board.
01:32:13.000 Forums.joerogan.net.
01:32:15.000 There's a whole thread with people asking questions on there also.
01:32:21.000 Can you use stream over the iPhone?
01:32:24.000 Yeah, I believe so.
01:32:26.000 But it's probably only good if you use Wi-Fi, right?
01:32:28.000 But it's probably only good if you use WiFi.
01:32:38.000 What's the best place you've ever done stand up?
01:32:40.000 There's no one best place, but my favorite places are Austin, Texas.
01:32:47.000 Philadelphia.
01:32:48.000 Philadelphia.
01:32:51.000 Phoenix, Arizona.
01:32:52.000 Phoenix, Arizona.
01:32:53.000 LA's a good place.
01:32:55.000 New York's a good place.
01:32:56.000 San Francisco, too.
01:32:57.000 San Francisco's a good place.
01:33:02.000 - Columbus, Ohio is a good place too. - Columbus, Ohio.
01:33:05.000 Any updates on Brock Lesnar's health, as everyone's asking. - I haven't heard anything about it.
01:33:26.000 I think it's going to take a long time for them to sort that out.
01:33:33.000 Apparently he's in pretty serious condition that he has.
01:33:37.000 Redband, you seem to be pretty much up on technology.
01:33:39.000 What's the single piece of technology equipment that would be available to the public you're most excited about in 2010?
01:33:46.000 I think a lot of people who know me, I'm excited for the new Apple tablet, like an oversized iPhone.
01:33:55.000 Netbooks are so popular right now, and I just find that that's just...
01:33:59.000 Going to be what's next after netbooks and iPhones.
01:34:03.000 I'm back. 1.00
01:34:05.000 I just took another tremendous shit. 1.00
01:34:08.000 You scrailed it in! 1.00
01:34:09.000 Did I? Sorry, fella.
01:34:13.000 Brian's upset that my shit stinks. 1.00
01:34:16.000 What do you expect, man? 1.00
01:34:18.000 Is it that bad?
01:34:19.000 Here, I'll light some more.
01:34:20.000 Alright, I'll try to enjoy the liking, alright? 1.00
01:34:22.000 You can't do all my shit. 1.00
01:34:23.000 Oh, that's great! 1.00
01:34:26.000 You're faking it.
01:34:27.000 Yeah, I'm faking it.
01:34:28.000 I shouldn't have to fake it.
01:34:30.000 I should just act like it's mine.
01:34:32.000 Yeah, why don't you do that?
01:34:33.000 Okay, it's mine.
01:34:34.000 No, it doesn't work. 1.00
01:34:35.000 It's so stupid. 1.00
01:34:36.000 It should work. 1.00
01:34:37.000 Yeah, you can't trick yourself.
01:34:42.000 What do we got here?
01:34:43.000 Give me some watches.
01:34:46.000 I think your Twitter turned out on this page.
01:34:54.000 Did you see that cloud just flew through the room?
01:34:56.000 I'm gonna refresh this. 0.99
01:34:57.000 This shows gay. 0.99
01:35:05.000 Is that your stomach or you burp? 1.00
01:35:07.000 I burped.
01:35:09.000 We just ate at this Italian place down the street.
01:35:12.000 Tremendous sausage and pepper sub.
01:35:14.000 You can get like an East Coast sausage and pepper sub in LA. What's it called?
01:35:18.000 Cabaretti?
01:35:19.000 Cabaretti?
01:35:19.000 Something like that?
01:35:20.000 Eww! 0.99
01:35:21.000 Oh! 0.60
01:35:22.000 How many Goodfellas posters were in there?
01:35:25.000 Thor!
01:35:27.000 Okay, questions.
01:35:28.000 Do you wipe from the front to back or back to front?
01:35:32.000 That's a good question.
01:35:33.000 I never thought about that. 1.00
01:35:34.000 I'm a dude and I'm wiping my ass, not my vagina, so I guess front to back. 1.00
01:35:39.000 Do you stand up? 1.00
01:35:40.000 Yes.
01:35:41.000 Well, I wipe you.
01:35:42.000 Yeah.
01:35:43.000 Dude, you know we're rare.
01:35:44.000 Really?
01:35:44.000 Most people sit down when they wipe.
01:35:46.000 They can't get the job done.
01:35:47.000 I know.
01:35:47.000 I don't understand it.
01:35:48.000 Also, You said you always pee sitting down.
01:35:52.000 No.
01:35:53.000 How dare you?
01:35:55.000 How dare you?
01:35:56.000 I'll tell you something about my toilet, though, that you probably didn't want to know, but you probably already know if you follow me on Twitter.
01:36:00.000 First of all, you can't flush those flushable wipes. 0.99
01:36:03.000 That's bullshit. 0.98
01:36:04.000 They say you can flush those things. 1.00
01:36:06.000 Yeah, they'll disappear, but they're going to clog up your fucking toilet. 0.99
01:36:08.000 Those flushable butt wipes that you get, you've got to use just toilet paper. 0.99
01:36:12.000 Well, you've been getting the flushable kind, right?
01:36:14.000 The disposable kind, yeah, but they're not flushable.
01:36:17.000 It's a lot.
01:36:17.000 The first month of using those, I thought they were all flushable, and then I saw that little picture on the back, and I'm like, oh!
01:36:23.000 You clogged the shit out of your toilet. 0.99
01:36:25.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:36:25.000 But mine got clogged up, and they had to come and fucking clean it out and rescue it. 1.00
01:36:30.000 It cost a lot of money. 0.99
01:36:31.000 But the big thing is that I have a fucking plant growing in my toilet. 1.00
01:36:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:36:35.000 You saw that shit, right? 1.00
01:36:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:36:37.000 It was ridiculous. 0.86
01:36:37.000 It was a gigantic tree that was growing in my toilet. 0.86
01:36:41.000 Like, they found roots, and they pulled it out, and I put it up on Twitter.
01:36:44.000 I think a lot of people have seen it.
01:36:46.000 Let me see if I can find it.
01:36:48.000 I'll see if I can find it.
01:36:49.000 I'll throw the link back up.
01:36:51.000 Maybe it's on my Flickr page.
01:36:52.000 I mean, it was so ridiculous. 0.99
01:36:54.000 I mean, it was so ridiculous that I looked at it, and I was like, how the fuck was that growing inside my toilet? 0.99
01:37:01.000 But I guess it was the water. 0.99
01:37:03.000 You need to start updating your Flickr, brother.
01:37:05.000 I know, I do, right?
01:37:09.000 Let me see my photo stream.
01:37:11.000 I must have had it up here.
01:37:11.000 I know I had it on TwitPic, right?
01:37:14.000 Maybe that's where it was.
01:37:15.000 Yeah.
01:37:18.000 These are my snow in Colorado photos.
01:37:22.000 Yeah, it's on in here.
01:37:24.000 Alright, I'll put it up. 1.00
01:37:25.000 Let me suck it. 1.00
01:37:27.000 It's got a Twit, Twit, your Twit. 1.00
01:37:29.000 Yeah.
01:37:30.000 Good night.
01:37:34.000 We need some music in here, right?
01:37:37.000 No.
01:37:38.000 Why not?
01:37:39.000 That's against the law.
01:37:40.000 What?
01:37:41.000 Is it?
01:37:42.000 You're streaming music.
01:37:43.000 If I do this and I have music play in the background, we can't do it?
01:37:46.000 You'll be arrested.
01:37:47.000 Come on.
01:37:49.000 Really?
01:37:51.000 This isn't it.
01:37:52.000 It's not on TwitPic. 0.99
01:37:53.000 You know that's the problem with using all these different goddamn programs. 0.95
01:37:57.000 It might be YFrog or I don't know what the other one is or how the other one works. 1.00
01:38:01.000 So fuck that. 0.99
01:38:02.000 I'll find the picture. 1.00
01:38:03.000 Just go back in your Twitter and you'll find it.
01:38:05.000 I'll put it up for you guys.
01:38:08.000 Toilet tree. 0.99
01:38:10.000 I don't even know where the fucking photo is. 0.99
01:38:22.000 Now I have to go to iPhoto. 0.97
01:38:23.000 I apologize for this, ladies and gentlemen.
01:38:25.000 This is not very entertaining, is it? 0.99
01:38:27.000 You don't even give a fuck. 1.00
01:38:28.000 You do give a fuck when you see the picture, though. 1.00
01:38:29.000 The picture is just so ridiculous that this goddamn thing was actually growing inside my toilet bowl. 1.00
01:38:34.000 It seems like it's not going to be worth the wait. 0.99
01:38:35.000 What you do is Google Toilet Tree Joe Rogan.
01:38:38.000 It'll be out there.
01:38:39.000 You think so?
01:38:39.000 Yeah.
01:38:41.000 Let's find out.
01:39:02.000 There it is. 1.00
01:39:02.000 Look at this motherfucker. 1.00
01:39:06.000 I mean, come on, man. 1.00
01:39:08.000 Look at that fucking thing. 1.00
01:39:10.000 That shit's ridiculous. 1.00
01:39:11.000 I gotta show you guys this. 1.00
01:39:12.000 This shit is ridiculous. 1.00
01:39:13.000 It looks like a Muppet. 1.00
01:39:28.000 It looks like a Muppet.
01:39:30.000 It doesn't even look real.
01:39:31.000 It looks completely fake.
01:39:34.000 So, now I go back to Flickr. 0.99
01:39:36.000 I'll upload this shit. 0.98
01:39:38.000 This is, it's gonna be hard for this picture to live up to the hype of me fiddling through my fucking computer for five minutes trying to get this picture to you guys. 0.99
01:39:55.000 But once you get the picture, I think you'll appreciate what the fuck I'm saying. 0.99
01:39:59.000 Because it's so ridiculous that this thing was growing in my goddamn toilet. 1.00
01:40:03.000 Weird. 1.00
01:40:06.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:40:06.000 Where is it? 1.00
01:40:07.000 it I just explored it Alright, it's uploading right now.
01:40:27.000 Thank you, Jesus.
01:40:28.000 As soon as it uploads, I'll take the link.
01:40:37.000 My internet is so weak.
01:40:38.000 Why haven't you done this yet?
01:40:40.000 All you have to do is make a call.
01:40:42.000 I'm going to procrastinate.
01:40:44.000 Clearly.
01:40:44.000 Make a phone call.
01:40:45.000 That's all you have to do.
01:40:47.000 I think I will.
01:40:48.000 You're going to have to be here.
01:40:49.000 It turns 620, so I'll do it tomorrow.
01:40:52.000 I'm going to do it, ladies and gentlemen.
01:40:53.000 A lot of people talk about upgrading their internet. 0.98
01:40:55.000 I'm going to fucking do it. 0.96
01:40:57.000 And I'm going to do it for you guys. 0.99
01:40:58.000 Because once you do that, we could have separate cams.
01:41:01.000 You know, we could have two cams.
01:41:02.000 We could have a third cam if we need to show something else.
01:41:06.000 We could have a third cam just via your desktop.
01:41:10.000 So instead of having to upload all these photos, you could just show what's on your desktop.
01:41:14.000 Why would I do that?
01:41:15.000 It's easier.
01:41:16.000 That's good.
01:41:17.000 Whatever. 1.00
01:41:18.000 Shut up. 0.99
01:41:19.000 Okay, here's the photo. 0.99
01:41:21.000 All sizes.
01:41:27.000 Big size.
01:41:30.000 Copy.
01:41:32.000 Which bathroom was that?
01:41:34.000 The one in here?
01:41:35.000 Yeah.
01:41:35.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:41:37.000 What do you think about the Mayweather-Pakman situation?
01:41:50.000 I think they're genius.
01:41:52.000 Minus 38, really?
01:41:54.000 How?
01:41:55.000 Oh.
01:41:56.000 Because you're on Twitter.
01:41:57.000 Tiny URL. Why doesn't it just do it for you?
01:42:00.000 Never mind.
01:42:03.000 Because it's a whack program. 1.00
01:42:08.000 Shit. 1.00
01:42:09.000 Their Twitter program is whack. 1.00
01:42:11.000 It doesn't even shrink your URLs.
01:42:14.000 Who would have ever thought that that would be a business?
01:42:16.000 Dude, it's gotten big.
01:42:17.000 We're getting a tiny URL business.
01:42:19.000 Yeah.
01:42:20.000 What are you talking about?
01:42:20.000 Oh, making people website names really small.
01:42:23.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:42:23.000 Who the fuck would ever thought there would be a market for that? 0.98
01:42:26.000 One of the websites, I can't remember. 0.98
01:42:28.000 I don't think it's tiny URL. But it's one of them, like, almost got bought the other day for, like, a couple million dollars.
01:42:35.000 And that's all it is, is a URL short.
01:42:38.000 That's hilarious.
01:42:41.000 Alright. 1.00
01:42:41.000 I put it up, you fuckers. 1.00
01:42:43.000 That's another one that was growing. ... 1.00
01:42:52.000 Alright.
01:42:53.000 Sorry for the long delay.
01:42:55.000 That was ridiculous.
01:42:56.000 It wasn't even that interesting. 0.75
01:42:58.000 But it is kind of interesting.
01:42:59.000 I put the picture up.
01:43:01.000 You can go see the picture.
01:43:02.000 It's on my Twitter.
01:43:05.000 What's next after a weekly Rogan podcast and the book?
01:43:08.000 What's the next project?
01:43:09.000 There are no next projects.
01:43:11.000 This is about it.
01:43:12.000 This is about all we're going to do.
01:43:14.000 A weekly podcast.
01:43:15.000 We're doing a show for Sony.
01:43:17.000 It's going to be called...
01:43:20.000 L-F-M-A-O, but now we might have to call it something different.
01:43:23.000 Yeah, because we've been trying to do it for like two years and now there's a band called LMAO or something like that.
01:43:30.000 Yeah, they're close.
01:43:30.000 We'll come up with a name for it, but it's basically interviewing comedians about the creative process.
01:43:36.000 And we're also in the middle of coming up with another show that...
01:43:43.000 It's comedy related that I can't talk about, but it should be fun.
01:43:47.000 That and just more shows, more comedy, more good stuff.
01:43:51.000 Is Fear Factor returning any time soon?
01:43:53.000 No!
01:43:53.000 It's not!
01:43:55.000 No!
01:43:56.000 I heard there was a rumor there.
01:43:57.000 No.
01:43:58.000 Yeah, there was a rumor for a while they were going to try to bring Fear Factor back.
01:44:01.000 Because Fear Factor, when they canceled it, it was kind of like, they could have kept it going if they really wanted to.
01:44:05.000 I think that's a show that could come back easily. 1.00
01:44:08.000 I'll do that shit, man. 1.00
01:44:09.000 And if he did it without me, he wouldn't have the flavor! 1.00
01:44:13.000 I'm sure it would probably be great if they did it with Mario Lopez.
01:44:16.000 No!
01:44:18.000 You can't pass up on that easy money if you do that. 0.96
01:44:21.000 That's a lot of money, goddammit.
01:44:22.000 Especially if you're working with all the same people again and stuff.
01:44:25.000 I might be willing to do it just for my kids.
01:44:27.000 Just put money away.
01:44:29.000 When's your movie coming out?
01:44:31.000 October. 0.99
01:44:32.000 Damn, October? 0.99
01:44:33.000 Should I move to Colorado? 0.99
01:44:35.000 I loved Colorado, man.
01:44:36.000 Sideshow Sid said, should I move to Colorado? 0.99
01:44:38.000 I fucking loved it. 0.99
01:44:39.000 I would still be there. 0.99
01:44:41.000 I didn't mind the cold.
01:44:42.000 I liked the people.
01:44:43.000 I liked the sky. 0.99
01:44:44.000 I liked the way the fucking mountains looked. 0.98
01:44:47.000 I liked the vibe. 0.99
01:44:49.000 I liked everything about it.
01:44:50.000 I liked it for me creatively.
01:44:51.000 I liked living in Colorado.
01:44:53.000 But, you know, when you have a family, you have children, you have a wife, and It's not as easy as just me being by myself.
01:45:02.000 If it was just me by myself, I'd probably still be there.
01:45:04.000 I'd still be on the top of that mountain.
01:45:06.000 But she was not into it.
01:45:09.000 It was just too creepy.
01:45:10.000 When our dog got eaten, our dog got eaten by a mountain lion.
01:45:15.000 That's not like a rumor that actually happened.
01:45:17.000 Dog got eaten by a mountain lion.
01:45:19.000 And she's bad driving in snow. 1.00
01:45:21.000 She crashed the car. 0.69
01:45:22.000 So it was a couple different things.
01:45:24.000 And then she got pregnant.
01:45:26.000 And the pregnancy was the biggest reason why we had to move out of Colorado.
01:45:29.000 It was because we were living over 8,000 feet.
01:45:32.000 Above sea level.
01:45:33.000 It's really high.
01:45:34.000 We are 3,000 feet above Boulder.
01:45:37.000 And it's a really, really high altitude.
01:45:39.000 And when you're pregnant, it's just brutal.
01:45:41.000 Really, it's not good for you.
01:45:43.000 It's unhealthy for you and for the baby.
01:45:45.000 Colorado is like one of the highest states in the country, like one of the top states in the country when it comes to premature births.
01:45:52.000 And a lot of it is because of the altitude.
01:45:54.000 You don't get enough air up there.
01:45:56.000 It's great for your conditioning, but it's not so good for being a pregnant woman. 0.99
01:46:01.000 So all those factors, I had to move out of Colorado, but if I could just be somewhere and live somewhere, live in Colorado, oh, in a heartbeat. 0.97
01:46:09.000 If I didn't have to travel, stay in Colorado, and, you know, deal with snow when it comes, hey, you're fucking snowed in, no big deal.
01:46:15.000 That's what it's supposed to be like. 0.69
01:46:16.000 The problem with me is I travel all the time, so I would leave my wife and leave the kids there.
01:46:22.000 It's not the same.
01:46:23.000 By myself, I'd have no problem with it.
01:46:25.000 I loved it. 0.97
01:46:26.000 So if you are going to move somewhere and stay there, I would say, yeah, Colorado's fucking badass. 0.90
01:46:31.000 It's my favorite state. 0.71
01:46:33.000 Do you think there will be a time when all handheld axes will have a pipe in them like the tomahawk?
01:46:40.000 Is that what tomahawks were?
01:46:42.000 They were a pipe and an axe all in one?
01:46:45.000 Is that true? 1.00
01:46:48.000 If that's true, the Indians were bad motherfuckers. 1.00
01:46:51.000 I don't think that's true. 1.00
01:46:52.000 I think that dude just went to a renaissance festival and was getting carried away.
01:46:56.000 Because, I mean, if you think about it, if it was a pipe off...
01:46:58.000 Well, listen, this is the beauty of the internet.
01:47:00.000 Right now, we'll Google this.
01:47:01.000 Did tomahawks have pipes on them?
01:47:03.000 I think there might have been a couple that did, but I don't think the majority of the tomahawks...
01:47:06.000 Well, why speculate?
01:47:07.000 Let's find out.
01:47:08.000 That just doesn't seem right.
01:47:10.000 It seems like it would just make the weapon weaker, having a hole through the middle of it.
01:47:15.000 Yeah.
01:47:17.000 That's true.
01:47:17.000 That's a good point.
01:47:18.000 Maybe it's enough.
01:47:22.000 Handmade pipe tomahawks.
01:47:26.000 Let's see.
01:47:28.000 Pipe axes.
01:47:30.000 The Crazy Crow Trading Post.
01:47:33.000 Show me a pipe axe.
01:47:36.000 Are these really pipes?
01:47:39.000 Historically accurate pipe axes.
01:47:42.000 We have spent years researching and manufacturing the finest line of throwing tomahawks, pipe tomahawks, belt and camp axes available today. 1.00
01:47:52.000 Did you even know there was a market for that kind of shit? 0.99
01:47:54.000 That's the beautiful thing about the internet. 1.00
01:47:57.000 Let's see what this thing looks like.
01:47:58.000 I don't see the pipe part.
01:47:59.000 Where's the pipe part?
01:48:04.000 Hand drilled for smoking.
01:48:05.000 Wow!
01:48:08.000 Hand-forged iron head drilled for smoking.
01:48:11.000 So basically the pipe is this. 0.99
01:48:13.000 You put some tobacco up in that bitch right there and you smoke right out of there. 1.00
01:48:18.000 Or do you smoke out of here? 1.00
01:48:19.000 No, I think you smoke out of there.
01:48:21.000 Wow.
01:48:21.000 Which just seems like it would make the handle weaker and the weapon weaker.
01:48:26.000 Yeah, it definitely would, right?
01:48:28.000 But this seems like it's really hard wood.
01:48:31.000 Look, this one's got a metal piece through it. 0.83
01:48:34.000 Original 1800 to 1825. Believed to belong to Red Cloud.
01:48:38.000 Wow, that's pretty dope.
01:48:40.000 Red Cloud didn't think it out. 1.00
01:48:42.000 Dude, I think we should start smoking pipe from a fucking tomahawk. 0.99
01:48:46.000 We gotta order one of those. 1.00
01:48:48.000 Come on, man.
01:48:49.000 We'll do the podcast.
01:48:50.000 We'll smoke out of that.
01:48:52.000 That's...
01:48:52.000 Ladies and gentlemen, what say you on Twitter?
01:48:54.000 I need to order this, right?
01:48:56.000 I'm gonna order this.
01:48:57.000 Add to basket. 1.00
01:48:58.000 Listen.
01:48:59.000 Click.
01:48:59.000 That's right.
01:49:01.000 Let's add it to the basket. 0.98
01:49:03.000 Alright, I won't check out now.
01:49:04.000 I'll check out later because I don't want you guys to get bummed out at me.
01:49:08.000 It was boring enough looking for that toilet tree.
01:49:11.000 Coming up on two hours.
01:49:12.000 We should make this two hours.
01:49:14.000 You think, why, are you getting bored?
01:49:15.000 Huh?
01:49:15.000 You don't like it anymore?
01:49:16.000 No, I just think we should keep it two hours.
01:49:18.000 Someone doesn't like it anymore.
01:49:18.000 We still have to do another video.
01:49:19.000 Someone doesn't think it's fun anymore.
01:49:22.000 Alright, let's go back. 1.00
01:49:26.000 471 motherfuckers in here. 1.00
01:49:28.000 We lost a lot of people for being really boring. 1.00
01:49:30.000 Yeah, two hours I think is just about right.
01:49:34.000 You want them wanting more, not less.
01:49:37.000 Is that what we want, ladies and gentlemen?
01:49:40.000 Is he right?
01:49:41.000 Is he correct?
01:49:43.000 How do you know we're going in two hours?
01:49:45.000 Where's the time?
01:49:46.000 Top left.
01:49:47.000 Where the blinking light is right up here.
01:49:49.000 Oh, there we go.
01:49:50.000 Yeah, we are.
01:49:51.000 I think after two hours also doesn't save maybe or something.
01:49:54.000 I think after two hours people start hating us.
01:49:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:49:57.000 Fucking faggots got nothing to talk about. 1.00
01:50:00.000 Boring ass shit. 1.00
01:50:03.000 So, so far we've answered questions. 1.00
01:50:05.000 We've put photos up on Twitter.
01:50:08.000 We've talked about some heavy subjects.
01:50:11.000 What more do you need, ladies and gentlemen?
01:50:14.000 We're all living in an alien's petri dish, says Dawkins 20. Maybe.
01:50:20.000 You know, that's possible.
01:50:23.000 Is time an illusion?
01:50:26.000 Shred431 wants to know if time's an illusion.
01:50:27.000 I don't think it's an illusion.
01:50:29.000 I just don't think time is just one thing.
01:50:31.000 You tell that to David Copperfield.
01:50:33.000 Hmm, everything's an illusion.
01:50:37.000 I think time is, you know, I mean we already know that time changes when you go fast.
01:50:43.000 Like if someone's in a super fast spaceship, you know, and they go at the speed of light, like time goes by much quicker on Earth than it does in their plane.
01:50:53.000 So if they come back in their super fast spaceship, you know, for them it's only been a year, but for us it could be like a hundred years, depending on how far and fast they go.
01:51:00.000 So time moves in a way that I don't think it's the way we look at it.
01:51:06.000 I don't think it's as cut and dry.
01:51:09.000 Like, you know, this is midnight and this is one o'clock.
01:51:12.000 I think it's...
01:51:14.000 It's much more dependent upon the state that the human being is in, like the frequency the person's in, where the person's living, you know, that you're living on Earth, you know, this dimension, you know, that time varies throughout other dimensions, and you can access those dimensions.
01:51:30.000 I mean, if they really do come up with ships that can fly through space at, you know, close to the speed of light or something, they really will be able to go to a place where they're literally going forward in time.
01:51:40.000 They'll have lived one year, they come back to Earth, and hundreds of years have gone by. 0.98
01:51:44.000 That's nutty shit, and that's real. 0.99
01:51:46.000 I don't think we understand time enough. 0.99
01:51:49.000 I think time is one of those things that we think we've got a grip on what it really is, but it's probably far more complex and confusing and variable than we think. 0.97
01:51:57.000 I think we should get rid of daylight savings time, because I think it's bullshit that it's fucking pitch black outside and it's only 6.30. 0.96
01:52:04.000 Yes, he's absolutely right. 1.00
01:52:05.000 Fuck farmers, they're all fucking thieves. 1.00
01:52:08.000 What?! 1.00
01:52:10.000 How dare you?
01:52:11.000 No, but seriously.
01:52:11.000 Were you a John Cougar Mellencamp hater?
01:52:13.000 Back then it made sense because everybody was a farmer.
01:52:16.000 Everything had to do with farmers.
01:52:18.000 Nowadays...
01:52:18.000 Why didn't they just get up earlier?
01:52:20.000 I don't get it.
01:52:21.000 I don't get it.
01:52:22.000 I don't ever think it makes sense.
01:52:23.000 I think if you have a regular job...
01:52:26.000 You know, sometimes it's dark out, sometimes it's light out. 0.99
01:52:29.000 The fucking earth spins. 0.99
01:52:30.000 That's what I love about Arizona. 1.00
01:52:31.000 In Arizona, they don't change their time. 1.00
01:52:33.000 They're like, fuck you. 1.00
01:52:34.000 No, it's stupid. 1.00
01:52:36.000 Well, they need to even do it better than that. 1.00
01:52:37.000 They need to, like, really fuck it up. 0.81
01:52:39.000 Like, I want it to be bright out till, like, 9 to 10 o'clock at night. 0.90
01:52:43.000 Don't you think that'd be cool?
01:52:44.000 Yeah, but then it would be dark out until like noon.
01:52:47.000 Yeah, but that's fine.
01:52:48.000 No. 0.87
01:52:49.000 That's retarded. 1.00
01:52:51.000 You're just as retarded as them. 1.00
01:52:52.000 That makes no sense. 1.00
01:52:54.000 Most people would rather have daylight when they get off work, don't you think? 0.90
01:53:02.000 I think that's silly. 0.97
01:53:04.000 I think it's silly. 0.72
01:53:05.000 I spelled Twitter wrong.
01:53:14.000 I know I did.
01:53:16.000 I don't think I can fix it though.
01:53:18.000 I think it's too late.
01:53:19.000 It is.
01:53:21.000 It is what it is.
01:53:25.000 No, you don't do it there.
01:53:26.000 Where do you do it?
01:53:27.000 The other program.
01:53:28.000 Remember?
01:53:28.000 Oh, that's right.
01:53:31.000 That's in this little motherfucker right here. 1.00
01:53:33.000 Check some shit. 1.00
01:53:35.000 Right on the right? 0.99
01:53:39.000 It's not.
01:53:42.000 Yeah, it's just not showing the whole thing.
01:53:43.000 Why is it not showing the whole thing?
01:53:45.000 Because it's like two lines, you know what I mean?
01:53:48.000 If you hit the right button.
01:53:50.000 Set it right.
01:53:58.000 Yeah.
01:54:01.000 Put it Joe Live.
01:54:08.000 Yay! 1.00
01:54:10.000 I fixed that shit. 1.00
01:54:12.000 It didn't change. 1.00
01:54:14.000 Oh, yeah, it did.
01:54:16.000 Alright This guy's trying to be funny Steve Wizzy.
01:54:26.000 Trying to be funny, Steve Wizzy?
01:54:27.000 He says, besides Carlos Mencia, who are your other favorite current comedians?
01:54:31.000 You don't like Carlos Mencia, though.
01:54:33.000 That's why it doesn't make sense. 0.99
01:54:35.000 He's being a silly goose. 0.93
01:54:38.000 My favorite comedians, though, for real, are guys who I look forward to seeing, like Louis C.K., Dave Attell, Doug Stanhope, definitely. 0.97
01:54:49.000 Paul Reiser.
01:54:53.000 Cat Williams.
01:54:54.000 You heard Cat Williams the other day?
01:54:56.000 I didn't see him live.
01:54:57.000 I only see him on video.
01:54:58.000 Cat Williams was on TMZ yesterday.
01:54:59.000 He just got out of jail or something like that.
01:55:02.000 He got in a fight at a bar and he had a gun in his pocket.
01:55:05.000 I like it. 1.00
01:55:07.000 He's crazy. 0.97
01:55:09.000 Cat's crazy. 1.00
01:55:11.000 Yeah, he's crazy for real.
01:55:13.000 I want to meet that dude.
01:55:15.000 I like his comedy.
01:55:17.000 I think he's very funny.
01:55:20.000 Did you ever listen to him on Grand Theft Auto?
01:55:23.000 No.
01:55:24.000 Is he good?
01:55:24.000 Yeah.
01:55:25.000 He does like the voice?
01:55:26.000 Well, no.
01:55:27.000 They have a comedy club in Grand Theft Auto.
01:55:29.000 You can go in and watch comedy.
01:55:31.000 I like it.
01:55:33.000 If not telepathy, what's next for human evolution?
01:55:43.000 Johnny Bananas21 wants to know.
01:55:46.000 Boobs for men. 1.00
01:55:48.000 If not telepathy, what's next for human evolution?
01:55:52.000 Probably a reversal.
01:55:55.000 If not telepathy, I think we're in a race right now.
01:55:59.000 Between technology and retards. 1.00
01:56:01.000 Between technology and caveman style living.
01:56:06.000 You know, they're talking about invading Pakistan, invading Yemen and more war and more craziness.
01:56:11.000 You know, we're at a crossroads.
01:56:14.000 And I think we could either get hit by a meteor or blow ourselves up or...
01:56:21.000 Figure out the next level.
01:56:23.000 Figure out what's going to take human beings from where we are to the next stage of existence, which is like a real thing.
01:56:30.000 I mean, I think we're really going to evolve.
01:56:32.000 We're really moving towards something new. 0.99
01:56:35.000 You know, I think that's what this frantic fucking society we live in is all about. 0.96
01:56:40.000 I think we're pushing and moving towards something, all working together towards something. 0.97
01:56:45.000 And I think it's going to be technology driven.
01:56:47.000 So it's one of those things.
01:56:48.000 Either that's going to happen, there's going to be some sort of a technologically birthed connection that all people all of a sudden share, some sort of a convergence of all human beings.
01:57:04.000 It's either going to be that or it's going to be we blow ourselves up or a meteor fucks us up or Yellowstone explodes and we start from scratch.
01:57:13.000 What if in the future the first robot to get pregnant? 1.00
01:57:19.000 Imagine if they figure out a way to get machines so closely tuned into human beings that you can fuck them and get them pregnant. 1.00
01:57:27.000 I think that's very possible, man. 1.00
01:57:29.000 Don't you?
01:57:30.000 Anything's possible.
01:57:31.000 At this point, that's not that crazy.
01:57:35.000 You know?
01:57:36.000 I mean, they can make so many things artificially.
01:57:38.000 They figured out a way to make pork in a laboratory.
01:57:41.000 Actually, the meat.
01:57:42.000 They could take some of the meat from a pig and they make it in a laboratory.
01:57:45.000 The problem is it's not really, like, mushy because it doesn't exercise at all and it's not, like, taut sinew.
01:57:52.000 But they're trying to figure out a way to maybe electrically exercise the muscle.
01:57:55.000 You could literally, like, just make gigantic, like, rooms full of meat, you know?
01:58:00.000 That doesn't even have a life attached to it.
01:58:02.000 If they can do that, If they can do that, why can't they, if they can figure out a way to grow meat, why can't they figure out a way to make an artificial human being?
01:58:12.000 That's gonna be just like Blade Runner, though. 0.99
01:58:13.000 They're gonna be all sad and shit. 0.99
01:58:15.000 They don't wanna kill you. 0.99
01:58:18.000 You know?
01:58:20.000 I mean, you have to give them emotions. 0.87
01:58:22.000 If you don't give them emotions, then, you know, they can't relate to people, they can't empathize with people, then they just go on mad raping and killing sprees. 0.99
01:58:32.000 Because if you make artificial people, what if they get hard-ons and shit? 0.99
01:58:37.000 You know? 1.00
01:58:38.000 My calculator has a boner! 1.00
01:58:40.000 Fucked by a robot? 1.00
01:58:41.000 Imagine? 0.99
01:58:42.000 I mean, if you make the females, you can make males too. 0.98
01:58:45.000 Like for old gay dudes. 1.00
01:58:47.000 You know? 1.00
01:58:48.000 Like, dudes would want, you know, like, to have a robot fuck doll, right? 1.00
01:58:53.000 But gay dudes would want some robot gay dude that they can fuck, you know? 1.00
01:58:58.000 Can you imagine if they could make, like, a real live, like, say if there was a guy who was your neighbor who was really creepy and he was fixated on you, and he'd make a robot that looks exactly like you and just fuck it all day long and punch it and tie it up and shit on its head. 1.00
01:59:12.000 And there's nothing you can do about it. 0.99
01:59:14.000 So literally next door to your fucking house, this guy's like putting the robot head out the window and waving to you. 1.00
01:59:20.000 Look, I'm pissing his mouth. 1.00
01:59:22.000 And it's like you, but it's a fake you. 1.00
01:59:24.000 And he's just fucking it up all day. 0.99
01:59:27.000 How disturbing would that be? 0.99
01:59:28.000 There's nothing you can do about it.
01:59:29.000 Do you have the papers on this?
01:59:30.000 It's not a real human, sir.
01:59:31.000 And he shows the papers.
01:59:33.000 Okay, I guess it's a robot.
01:59:34.000 I mean, if it's a robot, right?
01:59:36.000 Look, I have a grappling dummy in my garage that I use when I practice my jujitsu.
01:59:41.000 You know, and you can practice positions on it.
01:59:44.000 It's called a Bubba Dummy.
01:59:45.000 It's a Gracie You can buy it from the Gracie Academy in Torrance.
01:59:51.000 They're the ones who start selling it on their website.
01:59:53.000 I forget what the website is.
01:59:54.000 But if you look up Bubba Dummy, it's a dummy that's just designed for Jiu Jitsu.
01:59:58.000 And we filmed once, playing around.
02:00:00.000 Remember, we were in the garage. 0.93
02:00:02.000 We were beating the shit out of it and kicking in. 0.94
02:00:03.000 What if that was a real person? 0.99
02:00:05.000 I mean, it's a dummy that we made.
02:00:06.000 But what if it's a robot person?
02:00:08.000 What if there's a robot person that you could practice Jiu Jitsu on? 0.99
02:00:11.000 You could rape him. 1.00
02:00:12.000 You could punch him in the face. 1.00
02:00:14.000 You could just beat the shit out of him. 1.00
02:00:15.000 You could chop his arms off. 1.00
02:00:16.000 He'd be screaming and yelling. 0.98
02:00:17.000 And the cops come and go, look, it's a fake person.
02:00:19.000 Yeah, but the laws would have to probably change that artificial intelligence is just the same.
02:00:26.000 Wow.
02:00:27.000 Really?
02:00:27.000 Yeah, because a dog isn't as smart as a human, but you're allowed to chop the dog's legs off and stuff.
02:00:34.000 If you make a robot that has artificial intelligence, it's still going to be considered artificial intelligence, I think.
02:00:39.000 Yeah, but do you think that they'll treat it the same way as a human being?
02:00:42.000 Like, they'll change the laws, it'll be like murder?
02:00:45.000 Right.
02:00:45.000 I think if it can think, it's going to be considered life.
02:00:48.000 But before they figure that out, there's going to be a long window where... 0.99
02:00:52.000 Oh yeah, there's going to be a couple years of masturbating with robots and chaffin' them. 1.00
02:00:55.000 ...have a direct replica of you, and he's going to fuck its mouth right in front of your window. 1.00
02:01:00.000 And he's going to blow an air horn. 1.00
02:01:02.000 You look out the window, what the fuck is he doing? 0.99
02:01:05.000 And you look, and he's... 1.00
02:01:05.000 Fuck in your head. 1.00
02:01:08.000 And you think about it. 1.00
02:01:09.000 What if that was me?
02:01:10.000 What if I was the duplicate? 0.99
02:01:13.000 And the real me was watching me get raped? 1.00
02:01:17.000 That's weird shit. 1.00
02:01:19.000 That could be real. 1.00
02:01:19.000 That could be real. 1.00
02:01:20.000 That could really be a possibility.
02:01:22.000 You know what I'm surprised is that there's not technology yet where we can...
02:01:25.000 I could... 0.99
02:01:27.000 Have a program and type out shit and make it sound exactly like you. 0.99
02:01:31.000 You can listen to your voice and do the exact levels. 1.00
02:01:35.000 You can prank call with your mom.
02:01:37.000 There should be that already.
02:01:39.000 There should be that.
02:01:39.000 Totally.
02:01:40.000 Yeah, why haven't they figured that out yet?
02:01:42.000 It seems easy.
02:01:43.000 You know what's really ridiculous, too, is that you still have to sign things.
02:01:45.000 You scribble your name. 1.00
02:01:47.000 How dumb is that? 1.00
02:01:48.000 Yeah, and that's just stupid because, I mean, I write taco, I write penis. 1.00
02:01:51.000 They don't even care. 1.00
02:01:52.000 They don't look at it.
02:01:53.000 They don't check your ID to see.
02:01:54.000 No.
02:01:55.000 I don't sign my credit cards.
02:01:57.000 I guess if you look at my driver's license, I scribbled my name on that.
02:02:00.000 It's a similar scribble. 0.99
02:02:01.000 But what are these fucking people that work at Target? 0.99
02:02:03.000 Are they scribble experts? 1.00
02:02:05.000 Taking a look at that scribble?
02:02:06.000 I don't know.
02:02:06.000 It's just not the same guy.
02:02:08.000 Sometimes I write full sentences, honest to God. 0.95
02:02:12.000 Yeah, it's ridiculous.
02:02:14.000 How is that still around?
02:02:15.000 You write something with your name.
02:02:17.000 And that's legally binding.
02:02:19.000 If you write something with your name, you know what I mean?
02:02:22.000 Like, you know, when I got married, I had to get a marriage certificate and you had to write a scribble.
02:02:27.000 That's what ties you up.
02:02:28.000 Now, when you wrote scribble, did you write void?
02:02:30.000 See, I would do that.
02:02:32.000 See, I would write, this is not real, and make a scribble, because then at the end...
02:02:36.000 Help, she has a gun to my head. 1.00
02:02:37.000 Yeah, if I get a divorce, I go, no sir, you can see I wrote, this is not void on it.
02:02:42.000 I wonder if that would stand up.
02:02:44.000 That would hold up, right?
02:02:44.000 This is not valid.
02:02:45.000 I don't know, maybe. 0.99
02:02:47.000 Maybe you could say, I didn't say shit. 0.98
02:02:49.000 Maybe I could say, well, we have the documents you signed. 0.99
02:02:53.000 Then you can look at it and go, look what I wrote.
02:02:54.000 Yeah, it says, this is not real.
02:02:58.000 Maybe just sign, I do not agree to this.
02:03:01.000 A gun is being held up to my head right now.
02:03:03.000 Yeah, someone's trying to call me.
02:03:04.000 They have my dog hostage.
02:03:07.000 Robots will have rights after a while.
02:03:09.000 See, that's a guy I watched that Will Smith movie.
02:03:11.000 A.I. No, A.I. too.
02:03:12.000 Remember A.I.? See, they need to make an A.I. movie with the kid, but like, you know, sex.
02:03:17.000 What was it, I Am Robot? 0.85
02:03:18.000 Yeah, I Am Robot.
02:03:19.000 That was a pretty good movie.
02:03:21.000 That's a good movie.
02:03:22.000 Everything was Mac, remember?
02:03:24.000 All the robots look like Macs.
02:03:25.000 Yeah.
02:03:26.000 Does Gilbert Ivo have a chance against Dos Santos?
02:03:29.000 This guy's talking about this weekend's UFC. Is that when you leave?
02:03:33.000 You won't talk about UFC? We'll answer one UFC question.
02:03:37.000 Yes, he does.
02:03:38.000 Gilbert Ival's dangerous.
02:03:39.000 He's a really good striker. 1.00
02:03:41.000 He's a dangerous motherfucker. 0.99
02:03:43.000 And he knows this is a big opportunity for him. 1.00
02:03:45.000 He's going to come charging, guns blazing. 0.99
02:03:47.000 Don't you think it's stupid when people ask who's going to win the fight? 0.60
02:03:50.000 Because obviously it's a fight for a reason, meaning that there's not an obvious winner of this fight. 0.95
02:03:55.000 Most of the time it's not an obvious winner, but most of the time...
02:03:57.000 I mean, there's a lot of times when everybody agrees that a certain guy's going to win.
02:04:02.000 I mean, it doesn't mean that you're right, but in this fight, this guy doesn't know that much about this Gilbert Ivo guy, probably, and he wonders.
02:04:09.000 I think Gilbert's got a real good chance.
02:04:10.000 He's dangerous.
02:04:11.000 If he trains hard, if he's in real good shape, he's...
02:04:14.000 Very, very dangerous.
02:04:15.000 He knocks a lot of guys out.
02:04:16.000 His knockout of Gary Goodrich in Pride was like one of the most spectacular knockouts ever.
02:04:21.000 Head kicked him. 0.97
02:04:23.000 Boom! 0.99
02:04:23.000 One shot like 10 seconds into the fight and put him to sleep. 0.99
02:04:27.000 You know, those questions though, you can ask a dog to bark once for yes and bark two for no and have the same percentage of the outcome of the question and the answer.
02:04:34.000 You know what I mean?
02:04:36.000 Like if you say, yeah, that person's going to win.
02:04:38.000 Well, I never say someone's going to win, but someone's I'll tell you if someone's good or not.
02:04:43.000 You don't know if someone's going to win.
02:04:45.000 Okay, no more sports questions.
02:04:48.000 Order it.
02:04:48.000 I'm going to order the tomahawk pipe next broadcast.
02:04:53.000 Hopefully, if they get it to me in time, we will have a tomahawk pipe. 0.98
02:04:56.000 I think that's a fucking awesome item. 0.99
02:04:58.000 You need another pipe. 1.00
02:04:59.000 I need a tomahawk like a motherfucker. 1.00
02:05:02.000 That would be kind of cool to have a tomahawk. 0.99
02:05:05.000 Especially since it's a direct replica of something from a dude named Red Cloud.
02:05:12.000 Oh, there you go.
02:05:13.000 Look at those fanny packs they have.
02:05:14.000 Oh, they have a sweet fanny pack.
02:05:15.000 Look at that.
02:05:16.000 It's made out of a quilt.
02:05:17.000 Oh, that's like a shoulder bag.
02:05:19.000 I don't do shoulder bags. 1.00
02:05:19.000 That's a goddamn purse. 1.00
02:05:21.000 Okay? 1.00
02:05:22.000 Fanny pack is fucking manly. 1.00
02:05:24.000 That's some manly shit. 1.00
02:05:26.000 Alright, let's go to the Rogan board and see the questions there. 1.00
02:05:29.000 Why is fanny pack manly?
02:05:30.000 I'll tell you why fanny pack's manly. 0.99
02:05:32.000 Because if you're wearing a fanny pack, first of all, you're saying, I don't give a fuck what you think about how I look. 1.00
02:05:37.000 You know, you're just slapping this big stupid gay thing around your waist. 1.00
02:05:40.000 You're like, whatever, I have two hands free and I'm happy. 1.00
02:05:43.000 I'm not trying to look good for you. 1.00
02:05:44.000 I'm not trying to fuck you. 0.99
02:05:46.000 I'm not trying to get you to be my friend. 1.00
02:05:48.000 I like having all my shit in a bag that connects right here. 0.99
02:05:51.000 You're not trying to get laid. 0.99
02:05:52.000 Yeah, I'm not trying to get laid.
02:05:53.000 So when people talk about, oh man, how can you wear a fanny pack? 0.99
02:05:55.000 That's so gay. 1.00
02:05:56.000 It's a bag that connects to my waist. 1.00
02:05:58.000 This is silly. 0.99
02:05:59.000 The only reason why you don't think it's good looking is because women think it's disgusting. 1.00
02:06:03.000 And women think it looks gay. 0.99
02:06:04.000 So women have figured out a way to bully guys into not wearing it by telling us it looks gay. 0.99
02:06:10.000 Why would you care what kind of a bag another man wears?
02:06:14.000 Unless he's wearing a bright pink Hello Kitty strap. 0.98
02:06:18.000 It covers up your crotch. 0.98
02:06:19.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:06:19.000 It does cover up my crotch. 0.99
02:06:21.000 It's right there.
02:06:22.000 So if there's like a micrometeor that comes from outer space and could potentially hit me in the deck, it's going to hit my cell phone first or perhaps my wallet.
02:06:30.000 It's right there.
02:06:31.000 It's easy for travel.
02:06:32.000 When I go to the airport, I unbuckle that thing.
02:06:34.000 Bang! 1.00
02:06:35.000 Put it on.
02:06:35.000 My car keys are in there.
02:06:36.000 My cell phone's in there.
02:06:37.000 Woo! 1.00
02:06:40.000 Fanny packs of the shit, son. 1.00
02:06:44.000 Let's see what we got here. 1.00
02:06:48.000 That would be cool if gay people loved the smell of farts. 1.00
02:06:51.000 Didn't Joey Diaz joke about that for a while? 0.99
02:06:56.000 This fellow says, when are you going to come to the east coast of Canada?
02:06:59.000 I don't like the east coast of Canada.
02:07:00.000 No, I'm just kidding.
02:07:01.000 We were in Montreal last April.
02:07:04.000 That was fun.
02:07:06.000 I'll be back.
02:07:09.000 I'll definitely be back up there.
02:07:12.000 Alright, page two.
02:07:14.000 We're going to the Rogan board right now to answer questions.
02:07:17.000 What do I think about Jersey Shore?
02:07:19.000 I don't like Jersey Shore as much as I thought I would like it.
02:07:21.000 Because I knew too many dudes like that growing up. 1.00
02:07:23.000 To me it's more annoying and stupid. 1.00
02:07:25.000 It's fun for a couple seconds. 1.00
02:07:27.000 Hey, fist pump! 1.00
02:07:28.000 But after a while it's just...
02:07:30.000 It's fake.
02:07:31.000 This is my theory.
02:07:32.000 Have I told you my theory?
02:07:33.000 No.
02:07:33.000 I think, kind of like when The Hills first came out, everyone thought that was real.
02:07:38.000 Then it slowly got to the point where everyone figured out it was a fake show that's filmed to look real.
02:07:44.000 I think Jersey Shore is real. 1.00
02:07:45.000 They're way too dumb to ask. 0.99
02:07:46.000 Did you know half of them are male strippers that had to audition? 1.00
02:07:50.000 They're all in the entertainment field.
02:07:52.000 It's called Jersey Shore instead of The Hills.
02:07:55.000 I bet you anything in three years...
02:07:57.000 They auditioned for that?
02:07:57.000 Yeah.
02:07:58.000 I bet you anything.
02:07:59.000 That makes sense.
02:07:59.000 And they all live in this house.
02:08:01.000 This really nice real world house.
02:08:03.000 Yeah.
02:08:03.000 You know what I mean?
02:08:04.000 But that's the real people.
02:08:06.000 It's really a genius show if you look at it that way.
02:08:08.000 Right.
02:08:08.000 But I think in three years we're all going to be like...
02:08:10.000 Knowing it's fake.
02:08:11.000 Like, that fight somehow is fake and everything.
02:08:14.000 Really.
02:08:15.000 It wasn't fake when that dude punched that girl in the face.
02:08:17.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:08:17.000 Unless that chick is like a, you know, stunt woman and they fucking practiced it for like 50 years, you know what I mean? 0.98
02:08:24.000 I don't know. 0.99
02:08:26.000 If they practiced the punch a lot, you know?
02:08:29.000 Hmm.
02:08:31.000 I mean, you look at movies and you look at that punch, it looks real.
02:08:33.000 If they filmed it, like, did it look fake.
02:08:35.000 Hmm.
02:08:36.000 I don't know. 1.00
02:08:36.000 I think that dude got drunk and punched that bitch in the face. 1.00
02:08:39.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:08:41.000 Listen, someone said, would I have full-blown AIDS or spend one year in Mark Hayden's body?
02:08:48.000 Mark Hayden's body?
02:08:50.000 You know what?
02:08:52.000 Full-blown AIDS you could recover from.
02:08:55.000 You have one year in Mark Hayden's body?
02:08:57.000 It would probably be torture.
02:08:58.000 Dude.
02:08:59.000 I think full-blown AIDS, if you take your vitamins, would probably be okay in a couple of weeks. 1.00
02:09:03.000 Dude, you spend one year in Mark Hayden's body, fuck every chick you could possibly fuck. 1.00
02:09:08.000 You're not going to fuck anything. 1.00
02:09:08.000 Get him AIDS. You're not going to fuck anything in Mark Hayden's body. 1.00
02:09:11.000 You don't get AIDS in Mark Hayden's body. 1.00
02:09:14.000 You don't even understand the question. 1.00
02:09:15.000 No, I'm saying if you have one year in his body, you could just abuse it like fuck and get the fuck out of there in one year. 1.00
02:09:21.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
02:09:22.000 How dare you? 1.00
02:09:24.000 Let's end this.
02:09:25.000 Let's end this. 0.58
02:09:26.000 Alright, well, a couple more questions, then we're gonna get the fuck out of here. 0.80
02:09:29.000 I gotta admit, some of these questions are really lame. 0.88
02:09:32.000 But, it could be that we're really high, and they just seem lame.
02:09:37.000 That's a distinct possibility.
02:09:39.000 I wish I had some more coffee right now.
02:09:43.000 Um... 0.69
02:09:45.000 I apologize for the whack-ass internet.
02:09:48.000 I really am going to fix that.
02:09:49.000 Should I go AT&T U-verse or should I go Comcast Cable?
02:09:53.000 Charter.
02:09:53.000 Charter.
02:09:55.000 Does anybody know?
02:09:58.000 Wow.
02:09:58.000 This guy says, I think Red Band's life is fake.
02:10:01.000 How about that, fella?
02:10:03.000 Chojin2k. 0.98
02:10:04.000 My life is fake.
02:10:04.000 He says your life is fake.
02:10:06.000 I think he said your face is fake.
02:10:07.000 His face is...
02:10:08.000 His screen name's fake.
02:10:10.000 Look, he doesn't even have a picture.
02:10:14.000 What's this?
02:10:15.000 Die, what would happen?
02:10:17.000 What?
02:10:18.000 That's fake anon.
02:10:19.000 Yeah, fake anon's not funny.
02:10:21.000 Nope.
02:10:22.000 Look at this. 1.00
02:10:23.000 This is the laziest rapist ever. 0.99
02:10:25.000 Dave Broomfield at Hotmail.com says, Hey, Joe Rogan, why don't you invite me to come trip with you in your isolation tank? 1.00
02:10:33.000 How lazy is he? 0.97
02:10:35.000 That's not how you stalk and rape somebody, son. 0.99
02:10:38.000 You're going to have to be a little more clever than that. 1.00
02:10:41.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
02:10:43.000 What the fuck kind of guy is this? 1.00
02:10:47.000 Look, we got a fake Brett Rogers. 1.00
02:10:50.000 Hey Joe Rogan, did you see my last fight?
02:10:53.000 No, fake Brett Rogers, I didn't.
02:10:58.000 Brett Rogers is not on Twitter, ladies and gentlemen.
02:11:00.000 That's a fake Brett Rogers. 0.98
02:11:02.000 The real Brett Rogers is a bad motherfucker, but that's not him. 0.99
02:11:06.000 But it was really funny when the fake Brett Rogers was having an argument with the real war machine. 0.99
02:11:14.000 That was pretty funny.
02:11:15.000 War machine didn't get it.
02:11:17.000 Thought it was all really happening.
02:11:21.000 Brian, you stopped talking a while ago.
02:11:22.000 What happened?
02:11:23.000 You giving up on us?
02:11:25.000 Yeah.
02:11:27.000 I get to the cutoff point where I'm just tired of staring at computer.
02:11:31.000 Yeah.
02:11:33.000 Well, I have an accompanying Indian headdress to go with my tomahawk pipe.
02:11:37.000 Says Amuse 94. Yeah, that's a very good question, and I think yes.
02:11:45.000 I think if we're going to really get in touch with the spirit world, we're going to need full Indian attire. 1.00
02:11:50.000 Do you think?
02:11:51.000 Yeah, we're going to need the whole thing, man. 0.99
02:11:53.000 We're going to need feathers and shit and the correct type of weed. 1.00
02:11:58.000 Got to make sure we only smoke what the Indians smoke. 1.00
02:12:01.000 Smaller condoms? 0.99
02:12:02.000 No, not those Indians. 0.94
02:12:04.000 American Indians.
02:12:05.000 Not India Indians. 1.00
02:12:07.000 Did I see the girl mosh pit? 1.00
02:12:08.000 I watched it for a couple seconds, but it was like one of those terrorist videos where they cut some dude's head off.
02:12:13.000 After a while, they're like, just shut it off.
02:12:17.000 Alright. 0.98
02:12:19.000 See if any of these questions don't suck. 1.00
02:12:23.000 This one sucks. 1.00
02:12:24.000 This one sucks. 1.00
02:12:28.000 I think if anything came out of this, somewhere, someone right now is thinking about designing A robot where you clone your neighbor and make a robot out of them and then fuck them and rape them in front of them. 1.00
02:12:40.000 Somebody is thinking about that and I think if this chat has done anything good for the world, it's introduced that idea, that possibility out there. 0.99
02:12:50.000 Of making a clone of you. 0.92
02:12:52.000 You know what's going to suck? 1.00
02:12:53.000 We're going to be like 90 years old and they're going to make the perfect fuck robot. 1.00
02:12:57.000 But we're going to be so old we're not going to even care anymore. 0.99
02:13:00.000 It's not fair!
02:13:01.000 I don't even want Pushy.
02:13:02.000 I'll tell you that.
02:13:03.000 It was ruining my life.
02:13:05.000 Yeah.
02:13:05.000 Yeah.
02:13:06.000 I guess.
02:13:07.000 But they'll probably have more problems than we have now. 0.66
02:13:10.000 We'll probably look back on these days and go, remember the simple times when you just get on the internet and drive to work and you don't have to worry about monsters and aliens and UFOs and fucking, you know, the hyena flu that's killing everybody lately, you know?
02:13:24.000 That's the next one. 0.92
02:13:25.000 Something scary.
02:13:26.000 Like, pig flu doesn't scare you.
02:13:27.000 Bird flu doesn't scare you. 1.00
02:13:28.000 The fucking hyena flu is gonna scare the shit out of you, you know? 1.00
02:13:32.000 It's a flu that came from hyenas. 1.00
02:13:33.000 Holy shit! 1.00
02:13:35.000 Yeah, from eating their own young. 1.00
02:13:37.000 They came up with a fucking crazy new flu. 1.00
02:13:39.000 And everyone who gets it dies. 0.99
02:13:43.000 We're wearing beekeepers outfits everywhere. 0.93
02:13:47.000 The first cat in California last week got the first H1N1. Really?
02:13:53.000 People to cat.
02:13:55.000 So, maybe it's going to be cats. 0.94
02:13:57.000 We're going to have to kill our cats or something like that. 0.87
02:13:59.000 After you have a baby, cats become just really annoying. 0.87
02:14:02.000 Even dogs are annoying. 1.00
02:14:03.000 Shut the fuck up, stupid. 1.00
02:14:04.000 Baby's the best. 1.00
02:14:05.000 Babies rule. 1.00
02:14:07.000 Dogs I still like.
02:14:08.000 Cats.
02:14:09.000 My cats started pissing in my office right after my child was born. 1.00
02:14:13.000 Transparent little cunt. 1.00
02:14:15.000 So obvious what you wanted, dirty little bitch. 1.00
02:14:19.000 A couple more questions here. 1.00
02:14:20.000 Let's go to the Rogan board and see if we got a good question there.
02:14:24.000 Do you ever get mad?
02:14:25.000 Like, can anything actually piss you off to the point where Rogan smashed?
02:14:28.000 I get upset. 0.91
02:14:30.000 It would have to be pretty fucking a bad situation to get me that upset. 0.97
02:14:34.000 I'm pretty rational when it comes to most things. 0.95
02:14:36.000 I have a...
02:14:37.000 I mean, everyone has the ability to freak out over something.
02:14:40.000 It's just whether or not you choose to let yourself get there.
02:14:44.000 I think the most important thing about not getting mad is to manage your biology.
02:14:49.000 You've got to treat your biology like it's a bank account.
02:14:51.000 If you're in debt, you owe it something.
02:14:55.000 If you're overdrafted, You owe yourself an expenditure of energy, especially if you have a certain type of body.
02:15:02.000 If you have a muscular body, if you have a person who's engaged in athletics your whole life, you have a body that's used to exerting a lot of energy.
02:15:10.000 Well, you owe it to that body.
02:15:12.000 You have a debt to pay.
02:15:14.000 And if you don't pay that debt, you're going to have a problem where you're going to have too much energy that's stored up and built in and not blown out.
02:15:22.000 And it's going to come out in unusual ways, like in traffic or at work.
02:15:26.000 Or whatever.
02:15:27.000 You'll start screaming and freaking out about something you really didn't need to.
02:15:31.000 And really, it's all just about managing your biology.
02:15:34.000 Managing your thoughts.
02:15:35.000 It's very important to have some downtime where you can sit alone by yourself and just think.
02:15:40.000 That's very, very important.
02:15:42.000 For me, the isolation tank does that like times a hundred.
02:15:45.000 That's my favorite.
02:15:46.000 But sometimes even just sitting on the couch and just by myself, just thinking. 0.99
02:15:50.000 You know, you can call it meditation, you can call it whatever the fuck you want. 0.96
02:15:54.000 Just spending time to organize your thoughts and put your mind in a certain place. 0.99
02:15:58.000 Put your body in a certain place with exercise, with yoga, with nutrition, all that shit's important. 0.88
02:16:04.000 You gotta manage your biology. 0.91
02:16:06.000 And when you manage your biology, it makes managing your mind much, much easier.
02:16:10.000 Managing your mind, managing your biology, that's the key to not getting upset at things. 1.00
02:16:15.000 You fucking faggots. 1.00
02:16:16.000 What? 1.00
02:16:18.000 Okay.
02:16:19.000 The best art is created from the starving artist.
02:16:21.000 This is a good question.
02:16:23.000 It seems the best art is created from the starving artist.
02:16:25.000 Being wealthy, do you feel it hurts your ability to create art, comedy, or do you believe that not having to worry about your financial well-being allows you more time to be creative?
02:16:35.000 That's a very good question.
02:16:37.000 I think a lot of times people are much more ambitious when they're starving.
02:16:41.000 They have much more energy.
02:16:42.000 They have much more But that doesn't mean that you can't have a lot of dedication towards something when you become successful.
02:16:50.000 It all depends on what was your motivation in the first place.
02:16:52.000 If your motivation in the first place was recognition and, you know, adulation and then you become famous and then you get that, then you have no motivation to keep going.
02:17:01.000 But if your motivation is the actual art itself, is creating new things, then I think you can be more free as you become successful because you're in a position where you don't have to worry about money anymore.
02:17:12.000 So you have one less thing to think about.
02:17:14.000 And you're ambitious in the sense of being creative.
02:17:17.000 Instead of concentrating on money, your mind is not geared on that.
02:17:20.000 Your mind is geared on the art.
02:17:22.000 That's how I like to think that I am and when I'm at my best, that is where I'm at.
02:17:26.000 That's my mind frame.
02:17:29.000 That's my point of reference is that I think about the creation of the art itself.
02:17:34.000 That's when I'm at my best.
02:17:35.000 If I think about money and I think about how much is this going to pay me and is this worth this, It's not the same motivation so you don't get the same results.
02:17:44.000 It's not the same passion to it.
02:17:45.000 The passion's got to be real.
02:17:46.000 It's got to be my comedy the way in my head my motivation is all about whether or not people enjoy it.
02:17:52.000 I don't want to do anything that people don't enjoy.
02:17:54.000 I want to make sure that everything that I'm creating I'm creating it so other people get enjoyment out of it.
02:17:59.000 And that's the reward that you get for that.
02:18:01.000 As long as you're concentrating on that, you do no wrong.
02:18:04.000 As long as you have the dynamic and the relationship between you and the audience, as long as you respect that, and as long as your relationship to the creativity is all based on just producing more stuff that's good, that people enjoy, as long as you're doing it for that reason, I don't think you have to worry about money robbing you of your enthusiasm.
02:18:22.000 But if you were just in it for the money and just in it for the adulation, yeah, you become successful.
02:18:28.000 And then all of a sudden, you're not going to want to do it anymore.
02:18:30.000 You're not going to be enthusiastic about it anymore.
02:18:34.000 Hyena flu equals super AIDS.
02:18:42.000 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
02:18:44.000 So What do I plan on doing December 21st, 2012?
02:18:49.000 No, I'm going to stay.
02:18:51.000 If it's really what people say, are you going to go to the pyramids, man?
02:18:55.000 If it's really what some people think it is, this convergence, this technological convergence where all human beings will interface with each other, where someone creates a time machine, where some huge technological breakthrough happens.
02:19:08.000 That's what some people think December 21st, 2012. Hailing Collider or whatever that shit's called. 0.87
02:19:12.000 The Hadron Collider. 0.95
02:19:13.000 I think that's about the time it's going to...
02:19:15.000 If that's the case, then it doesn't matter where you are, right?
02:19:18.000 You should be amongst friends.
02:19:20.000 Maybe Brian and I will do a Ustream that day.
02:19:22.000 Should we commit to a Ustream?
02:19:24.000 Let's commit to a Ustream right now.
02:19:26.000 We're going to commit to a Ustream for December 21st, 2012. December 20th, 2012, we'll commit.
02:19:31.000 So that as the 21st turns over, we'll do it at night.
02:19:34.000 We'll have a midnight show.
02:19:35.000 At night.
02:19:35.000 We will start at 8 o'clock Eastern.
02:19:37.000 So that's 11 o'clock Eastern.
02:19:39.000 I don't care what time it is in England.
02:19:40.000 You don't count, okay?
02:19:41.000 That's not December 21st, 2012. It's all based on fucking America, okay? 0.99
02:19:45.000 Because the Mayans and the Americans are basically on the same calendar, sort of, right? 0.99
02:19:50.000 No, not really.
02:19:51.000 I think it's a different time.
02:19:53.000 Well, in Chichen Itza, it's the same as Miami, okay?
02:19:56.000 It's just a little bit below that.
02:19:59.000 Either way, December 20th, 2012, Brian and I are committing right now to a Ustream.
02:20:05.000 We're going to do it.
02:20:07.000 Feel strong about that?
02:20:08.000 Yeah, nothing's going to happen.
02:20:10.000 Maybe.
02:20:11.000 Maybe nothing's going to happen.
02:20:12.000 That is a possibility.
02:20:13.000 You know, I think people like to know that something's going to happen.
02:20:16.000 We have a friend that likes to believe in UFOs and psychics and chemtrails and anything wacky.
02:20:25.000 This dude just jumps on board.
02:20:27.000 And I think it's just as possible that nothing's going to happen.
02:20:33.000 I think it's more possible that it's not going to happen.
02:20:36.000 You know why I think it's possible that something might happen on that day?
02:20:38.000 Because everybody's thinking something's going to happen on that day.
02:20:40.000 Right.
02:20:40.000 If it's some dude sitting somewhere with some bombs.
02:20:43.000 I don't even know that.
02:20:44.000 I don't even think that.
02:20:45.000 I think the idea that we're going to force something to happen by really concentrating it as a point of focus is one point.
02:20:53.000 Yeah, but that's what everyone thought was going to happen in 2000. That is true. 0.89
02:20:56.000 But everybody was waiting for the clocks to break in 2000. It was a very specific day.
02:21:00.000 Planes falling from the sky!
02:21:04.000 I stayed home.
02:21:05.000 I remember I stayed home.
02:21:06.000 That was one of the first years where I didn't do a New Year's show.
02:21:12.000 I think I probably was worried.
02:21:14.000 What's so weird is that everyone was really freaked out about that and then we had all this like built up stress because of it and then just shortly after 9-11 and it's like then we finally got to release all the stress like the world's ending.
02:21:30.000 I just remember being really stressed out thinking something was going to happen.
02:21:35.000 It seems like right after that, 9-11.
02:21:37.000 Alright, let's quit. 0.85
02:21:39.000 My brain's mush.
02:21:41.000 It's so easy to give up.
02:21:43.000 Two and a half hours, isn't it?
02:21:44.000 Brian doesn't take vitamins.
02:21:46.000 Yeah, I do.
02:21:46.000 Two hours and 20 minutes is too much.
02:21:48.000 I ate a bag of carrots today.
02:21:50.000 I have a juicer now.
02:21:51.000 My man, a bag of carrots.
02:21:52.000 Well, we've dropped down to 4 in the 23 viewers. 1.00
02:21:54.000 What that says to me is at least 100 of you motherfuckers thought we were boring as shit. 1.00
02:21:59.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:22:00.000 So, I think that, how hairy is my butt from 1 to 10? 0.99
02:22:04.000 How dare you, sir? 1.00
02:22:05.000 How dare you, big 2-2 thug. 1.00
02:22:09.000 From 1 to 10, my butt, 3, 3 or 4. I really could use shaving and trimming. 1.00
02:22:15.000 I was listening to an old Howard Stern broadcast where they were fined, and he was fined for talking about shaving his butt. 0.99
02:22:22.000 You know, you don't realize how crazy those fucking regular radio shows are, like what you can and can't do until you hear something like that. 0.98
02:22:28.000 But it was inspiring and I was thinking about trimming my own butt hair. 0.98
02:22:32.000 But it could definitely help.
02:22:38.000 Solar flares are not in our control and that's the thing to worry about, says Raptor 94. Raptor 94 thinks that solar flares are going to do us in.
02:22:47.000 Very possible, man. 0.99
02:22:48.000 Nobody fucking knows. 1.00
02:22:49.000 Some other players are gay. 1.00
02:22:50.000 Make Brian clean my room for the next Ustream? 0.99
02:22:52.000 That's just my other desk. 1.00
02:22:54.000 It's covered with shit. 1.00
02:22:55.000 It's a desk, but I really use it as a place to just leave shit. 1.00
02:22:59.000 I'm a slob. 0.99
02:23:01.000 I have problems, ladies and gentlemen. 0.75
02:23:04.000 Do-do-do-do-do-do. 0.98
02:23:07.000 What bullshit resolutions will you say you will keep and won't? 0.98
02:23:12.000 No, I don't make resolutions. 1.00
02:23:14.000 Because he's not a girl. 1.00
02:23:15.000 Because I'm not a fucking girl. 0.99
02:23:17.000 And if I wanted to fix something about myself, I would start now. 0.99
02:23:21.000 I wouldn't wait.
02:23:22.000 I always say, I'm going to work out more. 0.99
02:23:24.000 This year, I'm going to fucking get my shit together. 0.98
02:23:26.000 But for the most part, I put out as much energy as I want to put out. 0.99
02:23:29.000 I focus on things as much as I can while still enjoying them.
02:23:34.000 You know?
02:23:35.000 Always dancing around obsession.
02:23:37.000 That's very important to me.
02:23:38.000 Whether it's with comedy or anything else, with games, with anything in my life, I always have to dance around becoming obsessed with things.
02:23:44.000 So for me, it's just enjoy.
02:23:47.000 Just try to be balanced and try to consciously, you know, just try to have a good time and be positive.
02:23:54.000 When I get obsessed with things, whether it's about jujitsu or comedy or playing games like pool or video games, I get crazy about things.
02:24:03.000 And I don't like that feeling.
02:24:05.000 I don't like getting obsessed with things. 0.99
02:24:07.000 Brian, you get obsessed with jerking off, right? 0.99
02:24:09.000 No. 1.00
02:24:09.000 How much porn do you have? 1.00
02:24:12.000 I get obsessed with internet, though, for sure. 0.96
02:24:15.000 It feels like I constantly want more information about everything.
02:24:19.000 It just branches off more and more and more.
02:24:22.000 I'll be looking about how applesauce is made, but then I need to know about how the apples are grown.
02:24:28.000 It just keeps on going and going and going.
02:24:30.000 Yeah, it wasn't that way when you were a kid, right?
02:24:33.000 No, not at all. 0.85
02:24:34.000 I fucking hated reading and I didn't want to learn anything. 0.98
02:24:37.000 I just wanted to play video games and roll around on the ground. 0.98
02:24:39.000 Isn't it funny how different when you get older your idea of information changes? 0.99
02:24:44.000 Because when I was a kid, information always meant school, meant shit you have to learn, meant boring, meant suck. 0.97
02:24:49.000 They were all connected together. 0.93
02:24:50.000 But then when it's no longer a requirement, then you find out what you're actually interested in and you pursue those things.
02:25:02.000 You know?
02:25:03.000 Yeah.
02:25:04.000 Right? 0.99
02:25:07.000 Brian just fucking fell asleep on me. 1.00
02:25:09.000 Believe that shit? 1.00
02:25:10.000 The fuck? 1.00
02:25:12.000 Alright, my Twitter friends. 1.00
02:25:13.000 I think we're gonna answer one more question. 0.99
02:25:18.000 He's fake snoring like the goddamn Three Stooges. 0.99
02:25:22.000 What the f- Is that Mo? 1.00
02:25:24.000 Are you doing Mo?
02:25:26.000 I thought it was curly.
02:25:28.000 It might have been curly.
02:25:29.000 you might be right this guy says 2012 something very subtle may happen that we don't realize for a while Dude.
02:25:48.000 What?
02:25:48.000 Say it.
02:25:49.000 Say it!
02:25:50.000 Go smoke your AOL disc and get off the internet.
02:25:56.000 Something subtle is happening right now we won't recognize for a while.
02:25:59.000 That's not what 2012 is supposed to be. 0.99
02:26:00.000 If that's what happens, then 2012 is bullshit. 0.99
02:26:03.000 Then it's 100% bullshit. 0.99
02:26:05.000 If December 21st, 2012 rolls around and we just go... 0.99
02:26:10.000 Nothing.
02:26:10.000 I don't feel anything.
02:26:11.000 I don't feel a thing. 0.99
02:26:12.000 Then it's bullshit. 0.99
02:26:13.000 100%. 1.00
02:26:13.000 It's not like, oh man, no, there's a change. 1.00
02:26:16.000 You're just not going to realize it for a while.
02:26:18.000 No, it's supposed to be, bam!
02:26:20.000 It's supposed to be, open a door, here's a new thing.
02:26:23.000 You know, I mean, if the internet turned on, like, if there was a day that the internet turned on, we all looked back and said, oh, December 10th, 2000, or 1993, that's when the internet turned on and the world changed forever.
02:26:37.000 If there was like a recognized date, first of all, that would be way more important than fucking Columbus Day.
02:26:41.000 How about that? 0.89
02:26:42.000 How about we study Columbus Day and that dude never even landed in America, right? 0.99
02:26:45.000 He was in the fucking Bahamas raping and murdering people and shit, you know, and then Columbus Day. 0.99
02:26:50.000 The internet day is a way bigger day for American history than fucking Columbus Day. 1.00
02:26:55.000 If they came out with an internet day, that would be important. 0.94
02:26:59.000 But...
02:27:01.000 December 21st, 2012 has to be like that internet day. 0.99
02:27:04.000 It has to be a day where we look back and go, wow, that day some shit started off. 0.98
02:27:09.000 That's the day that changed everything. 0.97
02:27:11.000 That's what December 21st, 2012 has got to be. 0.99
02:27:14.000 All the hype behind it, if it's not that, then it's bullshit. 0.89
02:27:17.000 You know, this whole idea that it's the end of an age, that it's becoming a new era. 0.97
02:27:21.000 Maybe, maybe possibly.
02:27:23.000 But to me, that could just as easily happen tomorrow.
02:27:26.000 I mean, why do we assume that the Mayans were absolutely correct about that? 1.00
02:27:30.000 Even if they were correcting, recognizing that human beings go in cycles.
02:27:35.000 You know, that's not an old idea.
02:27:38.000 The Yuga is, I believe, a Hindu idea?
02:27:42.000 I think it's Hindu.
02:27:43.000 Along...
02:27:43.000 The same lines, there's like stages that humanity goes for, goes through, and that these stages, these cycles, that they're all repeatable.
02:27:52.000 They just keep happening in a cycle over and over again.
02:27:54.000 Just like how you breathe in, you always breathe out.
02:27:57.000 Humanity rises and falls.
02:27:59.000 And right now we're supposed to be in Kali Yuga, and it's also supposed to end the same time around where the Mayans believe that this age is going to end. 0.80
02:28:09.000 And the same time where Terence McKenna's, you know, Time Wave Zero Novelty Theory, which a lot of people think is bullshit. 0.61
02:28:15.000 I don't know if it's bullshit or not, but there was a guy named Terence McKenna that had this crazy mathematical algorithm designed to track time. 0.81
02:28:22.000 And he was based off the I Ching. 1.00
02:28:24.000 And the idea was that you could apply this to past events and show that all human innovation That progress in humanity is all like you could chart it on a graph.
02:28:33.000 That it's all like going along a certain direction.
02:28:36.000 And that eventually was going to reach a point of what he called ultimate novelty.
02:28:40.000 And the idea of ultimate novelty would be something that we would figure out or do, like create a time machine or something like that, that would literally change everything as we know it.
02:28:50.000 You know, and that Ray Kurzweil calls it the singularity.
02:28:55.000 There's a bunch of different scientists that believe we're moving towards this convergence, this one big invention.
02:29:02.000 And they tie that into the Mayan thing.
02:29:04.000 That December 21st, 2012 is exactly the same as the ending point for ultimate novelty for Time Wave Zero.
02:29:11.000 And that Terence McKenna arrived at that time completely independent of the Mayan calendar. 0.98
02:29:16.000 I don't know if it's bullshit. 0.93
02:29:17.000 You don't have really studied it either, right? 0.99
02:29:19.000 Did you study it?
02:29:20.000 He knew about this whole thing and he just programmed this logic around that date.
02:29:24.000 It's possible.
02:29:25.000 It's possible.
02:29:26.000 It didn't seem like he was a liar, though.
02:29:28.000 He might have been kind of a hippie.
02:29:29.000 He's a hippie. 1.00
02:29:30.000 They're all liars. 1.00
02:29:31.000 They all want money so they can buy weed and fucking patrolling. 1.00
02:29:36.000 Maybe. 1.00
02:29:37.000 We don't know. 0.99
02:29:39.000 What we do know is this fucking thing's been going on for two hours and thirty minutes, and that's it. 0.98
02:29:44.000 It's over, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
02:29:45.000 Brian and I are going to go get something to eat, and we're going to sign out.
02:29:48.000 We're going to try to do this every week now.
02:29:51.000 Two hours every week.
02:29:52.000 Two hours.
02:29:52.000 Two hours and a half.
02:29:53.000 You're right.
02:29:54.000 Two hours is not so good.
02:29:55.000 Or two hours and a half is not so good.
02:29:57.000 Two hours is the perfect line. 0.99
02:29:58.000 But we appreciate all 400 and fucking whatever of you. 0.98
02:30:02.000 We had 500 people at one point in time. 0.99
02:30:04.000 It's like a comedy club.
02:30:05.000 And as soon as we get some more internet in here, we're going to start triple broadcasting it on both Justin TV and all the other ones.
02:30:13.000 Yeah, we'll put it on three and we'll also give you different angles too.
02:30:17.000 Yeah, different angles. 1.00
02:30:18.000 If you want to be a fucking weirdo. 0.99
02:30:21.000 Can we get bigger heads up a couple days? 1.00
02:30:23.000 Yes, my friend Jim Dirksen.
02:30:26.000 No, Didrickson.
02:30:28.000 Jim Didrickson.
02:30:30.000 Yeah, we'll definitely give more advanced time.
02:30:32.000 We just figured it out yesterday we were going to do it, and then I put it up and said we're going to do it in a couple hours.
02:30:36.000 But what we'll do next time is, what we're eventually going to do is have a specific time we start at every week.
02:30:42.000 That sounds great.
02:30:43.000 Like a Wednesday.
02:30:44.000 Yeah, like Wednesday afternoon.
02:30:44.000 Usually in town Wednesdays.
02:30:46.000 Yeah, you're right, because even if we go on the road for comedy, we don't leave until Thursday usually.
02:30:50.000 So we'll try to do a Tuesday or a Wednesday, and that's what we'll do.
02:30:54.000 We'll do like late afternoon in LA, like 3 o'clock is perfect, somewhere around that line.
02:30:59.000 And we'll do it on a regular basis.
02:31:02.000 So, this week I'm at the House of Blues on Saturday, no, yeah, Saturday night, Friday night at the House of Blues, this Friday in Vegas.
02:31:12.000 That's January 1st.
02:31:14.000 There's still tickets available for that.
02:31:15.000 New Year's Eve in Melrose at the Improv in Hollywood on Thursday night.
02:31:18.000 It's totally sold out.
02:31:20.000 So that's sold out, but there's still some tickets available for the House of Blues.
02:31:23.000 So if you're going to be in Vegas, Brian's not coming unless he wants to.
02:31:27.000 Unless he changes his mind.
02:31:28.000 Vegas on New Year's Day just seems like that.
02:31:31.000 Dry puke everywhere when it's a hangover.
02:31:35.000 Yeah, it's hell in August.
02:31:37.000 But New Year's Eve, like I said, it's all sold out, sorry.
02:31:41.000 But New Year's Day, January 1st.
02:31:43.000 The House of Blues at Mandalay Bay, and it'll be Joey Diaz and Ari Shafir.
02:31:48.000 If Ari doesn't kill himself before then, hopefully he won't.
02:31:53.000 So, thank you very much, everybody.
02:31:55.000 Thanks for tuning into this, and we'll see you next week.
02:31:58.000 We're going to do this every week. 0.97
02:31:59.000 Okay, bitches? 1.00
02:32:00.000 Alright, thanks. 0.99