Jim Jeffries blows a fart, and the rest of the team tries to figure out if this is a good or bad thing. Also, the boys debate whether or not the joke was actually a joke or not, and who's to say it was right or wrong? Thanks to our sponsor, The Fleshlight, for sponsoring this episode. We're also talking about AlphaBnB, the cognitive enhancing supplement, New Mood, the serotonin boosting supplement, and we have Shroom Tech, the nootropic and ShroomTech Immune. All of them, except for Shrooms Tech, are nootropic supplements you should try to get started on your morning routine. If you don't already have them, go get them! Save 15% using the code ROGAN at checkout and save 15% on your first order of anything else you get. Use the codename ROGANS and you save 15%. Enjoy it! XOXO, Rory and the boys - The R.I.P. Crew The R&B Jerrod and the crew at The R & B Boys Brian and the guys at the R&R Crew at the Comedy Central Comedy Festival in Los Angeles, CA and they're having a live show at The Comedy Central after the show, so make sure to check out the show! the R and B Comedy Central's Comedy Festival! in LA. The guys at Comedy Central is a must-listen! and listen to the show you're not going to want to be there! - the next time you're in LA is having a good time at the next day, so be sure to catch up on what they're going to do there. and don't miss it. You won't want to miss the show that's going to be in LA, right here and here's a review of the best of what's going on in LA and what they did last week's best, and what you can do in LA's best place to listen to on the best place in LA? and who they're listening to that's the best, right there in LA or LA is going to say so you'll be the best in LA at the best review of it, too. . Thank you for listening to it? - That's right, you'll get a discount code name "ROGAN" and you'll also get the first 30% discount code "Saving 15% off the first order you get a chance to win $10% off your first purchase.
00:02:34.000We're also brought to you by Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of AlphaBrain, the cognitive enhancing supplement, New Mood, the serotonin boosting supplement, and we have Shroom Tech Sport and Shroom Tech Immune.
00:02:46.000All of them, essentially, except for, I guess the Shroom Tech wouldn't be.
00:02:52.000I'm not necessarily thought of as a nootropic, but what they are, what especially alpha brain is, is essentially vitamins for enhancing your cognitive function.
00:03:19.000Go to onnit.com for details, O-N-N-I-T, and use the code name ROGAN, save 10%.
00:03:26.000First 30 pills, the first order you get of anything, it's 100% money-back guarantee.
00:03:31.000So even if you eat it all, you can take all the vitamins, eat all 30 of them, and go, you know what, I think this is shit, then you get your money back.
00:04:31.000You should just get a hotel somewhere.
00:04:33.000Because if you're asleep in your car, and even if you have no intention of driving drunk, and if a cop knocks on your door, you're going to jail.
00:06:48.000It's just the guy, I just need a person, it could be a fat person standing there, going, keep going, come on, come on, you've got another one in you, and I go, alright then.
00:06:57.000Because if I'm by myself, I have a very low threshold for any type of activity.
00:07:43.000I think physically, the way you physically feel, it affects the way you interact with people.
00:07:49.000and I think you almost have a duty to try to keep your shit in line at least enough so it's not fucking up on you so you're annoyed all the time when you're around people.
00:08:00.000Because that's what you run into a lot of really cranky, bitchy people.
00:14:19.000The third one's always straight to DVD. Yeah.
00:14:23.000And it's like, because the whole idea was that Crocodile Dundee went from Australia, in the outback of Australia, to New York and was like, what the fuck's he going to do?
00:15:28.000Paul Hogan was married to a real fat woman called Noeline Hogan, who was just this big, fat woman, and he had five kids with her, which he had before he was famous.
00:15:39.000Then he did Crocodile Dundee, and he started dating Linda Kozlowski.
00:15:43.000And the Australian public were like, oh, what's he done to his wife?
00:15:46.000But now he's been with that bird for 25 years, so you can't really get into him as much.
00:20:01.000God, you just can't fuck with something like that, man.
00:20:03.000Well, the thing is, that's why they go, I will never release the footage out of respect because they know he wasn't patting it going, isn't this a lovely thing?
00:22:41.000So an alligator was sitting in a swamp in Miami and just, until something stupidly looked like a rock until something swims by, where a crocodile just wakes up in the morning going, I'm going to fucking catch something.
00:23:51.000You've probably got it around here as well, but people are telling us not to have a dog because fucking mountain lions will come and eat your dog.
00:25:23.000I just sit there going live, live, dead, dead, dead, dead, alive.
00:25:28.000Like I wipe out whole families because I don't want anyone mourning or crying.
00:25:31.000So if one of your family goes, you all fucking go.
00:25:34.000That means every time you want one of the hot daughters, you have to get the whole family then, right?
00:25:40.000Yeah, I suppose, yeah, keep a hot daughter because she'll need comforting.
00:25:44.000And I always picture me, it's always going to be like on a snowcrest and hill or something, but I only really fly domestically across America.
00:25:59.000It's unrealistic, because the wolves don't really behave like that, but it's pretty interesting when you hear about people that actually have been killed by wolves.
00:26:09.000It's a lot more than I thought it was.
00:27:06.000I read about a dude from 1920, or wherever the fuck it was.
00:27:10.000He was up in Canada trapping, and he killed four wolves by shooting them, and then like eight more by clubbing them to death with his rifle before a rifle butt broke, and then they killed him.
00:29:18.000And it was one of those things where, like, you know, like...
00:29:22.000They never tell you that you've done badly, but also they don't tell you your agent, they go, oh, he was okay, but we're going a different way because they don't want to have that conversation with the needy agent either.
00:29:32.000But they told my agent that I was woeful, that I was really, really bad.
00:30:08.000You should have come in the audition wearing a complete green suit, one of those green screen suits and the little balls all over you.
00:30:14.000How could they expect you to do that kind of improvisation with no person there?
00:30:21.000Well, the guy who got it was the same guy who played Robin Williams in a bio TV show about him, like a NBC midday movie type of thing, right?
00:30:30.000Oh, so he's like a good impressionist.
00:30:31.000He must be a good impressionist, that's all I can tell.
00:30:33.000But he had the wig and everything, and he was in the waiting room.
00:32:21.000Well, he was a perfect guy for that role, too.
00:32:23.000I mean, he looked like that guy, like a dangerous, thick-looking, crazy fuck cop that would shoot you and make up a story about it and pass a lie detector test.
00:35:01.000I always find it weird when you see those girls who keep this, because I don't keep my toenails that well-clipped, I imagine.
00:35:06.000I do a fair job, but nothing remarkable.
00:35:10.000But when you see that girl that's clipped the nail so much, she just has that little toenail that's not like it's a slither, like a millimeter.
00:36:04.000No, if you grow them long, they get real thick in the back.
00:36:06.000When you look at these Guinness Book of Records stuff, they can't cut them because once they get so long, it joins their blood flow and shit.
00:39:59.000What do you think actually happened to him when he had that black eye and he said he ate a pretzel and choked and blacked out and fell down?
00:40:05.000I believe exactly that's what happened.
00:40:07.000I can see him eating a pretzel and freaking out and tripping him.
00:40:09.000I think that's what happened as well because he would make up a less idiotic life.
00:40:12.000I think his dad put a fucking leather glove on and beat his ass off.
00:42:28.000I like it's one of those things that you siphon petrol with.
00:42:34.000I guess that the pump though is the actual heart muscle working you know the pump is the actual heart muscle pushing it out if the heart muscles not working and this pump is doing so is it an artificial heart is that what it is whatever the fuck it was he didn't have a pulse because of this thing and then they opened him up Hearts are weird.
00:43:02.000And the reason they recently discovered, and this is just, I think, within the last couple of years, that there's at least as many neurons in the heart as there are in the brain.
00:44:03.000They know like what part of the brain hurts, like if you hurt part of the brain, they know like where memory is stored based on people getting injuries to specific locations of the brain, like how their brain, you know, how they, you know, like they know, like fun of lobotomies.
00:45:04.000And that's, like, so close to when they're, like, bleeding and using leeches in medicine, like, to go, oh, yeah, we'll just electrocute people.
00:45:13.000Well, electricity seems so cool and so powerful.
00:45:16.000It's like, well, let's just hook them up to that shit, see if it fixes them.
00:47:31.000Everyone in America has this little thing.
00:47:33.000We obviously, with our jobs, fly a lot.
00:47:35.000And whenever I get on a plane, like I speak to my management or agents or something, I go, fuck it, I want to do this flight, I can't sleep on planes.
00:49:13.000It's a sitcom about dwarves on HBO, but if you haven't seen it, I won't reference it.
00:49:17.000Basically, they make a whole lot of dwarves go through...
00:49:21.000Famous scenes in movie history and there's a broke back mountain which is just funny to watch with two English dwarfs going, I'm definitely gay.
00:51:00.000I don't really know him, but he sounds very funny.
00:51:03.000But somebody took his fucking Facebook account and changed all his email and stuff, and now he can't get back into it, and Facebook won't help him at all.
00:51:11.000So now there's just somebody looking at all his shit, looking at all his photos.
00:51:14.000Does he have an ex-girlfriend that hates him?
00:51:53.000I mean, they made a movie about this guy being famous, and he really believed it.
00:51:58.000I mean, to me, that's like, a part of that is like, you're picking on mental illness.
00:52:02.000It's clearly this guy, there's a disconnect between this guy and reality.
00:52:06.000Like, it's funny, sorta, but man, you're talking about, like, the ultimate, the joke's on you.
00:52:12.000That's like, they're picking on a crazy person.
00:52:14.000Yeah, but one thing that's different than that argument is that the crazy people all want to be comics or actors, so they know what they're doing.
00:52:26.000And every time I do it, one of their, I wouldn't say retards, one of their crazies that are on the show, Sometimes I go home feeling a little bit down about it and then I remember that they love it.
00:52:57.000Like, one of the guys is a schizophrenic surfer guy, and I used to do open mics with this guy, and he's schizophrenic, and he's really hardcore schizophrenic, but he would do, like, an act, and then, like, afterwards I would always try to talk to him, but he would, like, look past me, and it was really weird.
00:54:13.000Have you ever met anybody that was a real...
00:54:15.000I've got a friend, and he's a good friend of mine, so I won't say his name, but I have a friend of mine who says that he had a split personality, but it was just...
00:55:55.000There's a guy in New Zealand called Jonah Lomu, who's fairly well portrayed in that movie, Vindictus or whatever, about the rugby world cut.
00:56:05.000But that's the biggest cut I've ever seen.
00:57:52.000I always love that, though, when you see those news stories.
00:57:56.000It's happened to us so many times when we watch news stories where some mums are like, we were driving along and this black man with tattoos just opened the door and stole my car with my child in it.
00:58:07.000And then you go, that car's going to end up in the swamp and you put them in the seatbelt and this is going to be awesome.
00:58:13.000But now it makes you suspicious of every person who ever cries on TV. You always watch them going, yeah, you're a killer.
00:59:26.000Like to the extent that last time I went back to Britain, they had pictures of her five years on, computer generated what she'd look like now.
00:59:33.000So to keep looking for her, like the parents are still like putting in...
00:59:36.000It's just so creepy when they do that.
01:01:03.000No, they were trying to, yeah, very similar to that.
01:01:06.000So he was out of dating clients on a boat, like people he was trying to get money out of.
01:01:09.000He developed shopping centres and stuff, right?
01:01:11.000So he had this boat, and this was years, this was early on in my career, and I had like a CD out, my first CD, and my brother just had it, and he goes, oh, everyone wasn't really getting along, so I thought I'd put your CD on and see if we could pick the mood up of the group.
01:01:26.000He goes, you started with a Down syndrome joke.
01:01:29.000The fucking guy's kid had Down Syndrome and we're stuck in Sydney Harbour and we couldn't go back.
01:01:35.000And he was yelling at me like I fucked his deal up.
01:02:25.000But a lot of people believe that you could get a lot of things wrong with your brain from repeated trauma.
01:02:34.000And the kind of trauma they have on football is like, I mean, these guys are running at each other and clashing heads and shit and head to fucking knees.
01:02:42.000And I mean, there's some serious impact that these guys are withstanding.
01:02:46.000And a lot of them get fucked up because of it.
01:02:48.000I'm pretty sure that's what he was saying, was that it was a trauma-related multiple personality disorder.
01:03:29.000Well, Dudley Moore kept it secret for years, and everyone, because they thought he was just a drunk, but he was then giving up acting and things.
01:03:36.000He used to go out as a concert pianist, because he was a really good pianist.
01:04:15.000I would buy it just to see what a time-traveling device it would be.
01:04:18.000I bought The Greatest American Hero, or I got The Greatest American Hero on Netflix the other day because I just liked it so much as a kid.
01:04:55.000Because I grew up finding a Playboy magazine and then just batting off to it until I found another magazine that was, you know, kids today are going straight to internet.
01:06:04.000Yeah, but I didn't know as a kid, and I used to think, because the other tit was in a machine being squeezed down, and I was like, that must be some sex machine.
01:06:15.000It's amazing that kept your interest for so long.
01:06:18.000Yeah, I stole the lingerie thing out of the Sears catalog from my friend's mom's Sears catalog.
01:06:24.000And I used to keep it and I put it in my books and hide it in a book and pull it out and look at it and masturbate and shit.
01:06:30.000Remember the lingerie, you know, like in the catalogs, the old catalogs, we used to have catalogs.
01:06:35.000I remember there being, I used to buy porn on video and then when I went to university and I was like 22 or something like that, they used to keep on sending me the catalogs because I bought a couple of videos years ago.
01:06:48.000And I used to keep them, and they were just like little pictures of scenes from the movies.
01:06:54.000I never bought anything, but the catalogs, once a month, that was a big day.
01:08:06.000Yeah, but we have R as well, but mature is 16, then R is 18. There's 17, I think, is R. Isn't that it?
01:08:15.000And NC-17 is for, no matter what, you can't even go with an adult unless you're 17. My father's so deprived of being able to see tits.
01:08:25.000Because my mum's such a big, hefty woman, and he just...
01:08:28.000But he's still like a horny sort of bloke, my dad, right?
01:08:32.000So when we were kids, if me and my two brothers were sitting watching, let's say the movie Labyrinth, we were watching like a very innocent puppet-related film, all at once during the film, and he'd be in the house, we'd all go, oh, look at those tits!
01:09:57.000I do a routine on this, but he found some porn magazines under my...
01:09:59.000My mother found some porn magazines under my bed, and she put them in the bin, because that's like, you know, you put them in the bin, and then she didn't say anything to me.
01:10:11.000She didn't, like, get angry or anything, so I felt like I got away with it, but my porn drawer was empty, right?
01:10:16.000And I worked in the news agency, so I used to collect them from the bins out the back of the news agency, so I had piles and piles of them.
01:11:21.000And there was an actual moment where I start with my dad and I had a debate when I was 13 over, all right, you can have a hustler, a penthouse, a playboy.
01:13:39.000They say a lot of shit that they think that women who just hit menopause want to hear.
01:13:44.000When they really start getting into yoga and just try to find the light and try to find happiness and get into flowers, raising flowers, that's when he comes in.
01:13:54.000A guy like that can just swoop in on that I want to be happy market and just start...
01:13:59.000Ping-ponging it back and forth with all these nonsense sentences.
01:14:02.000When you reach pure awareness, you'll have no problems.
01:22:15.000That's like a big violation of space, man.
01:22:17.000Imagine that was your sister or your daughter.
01:22:20.000Imagine if you watched someone do that to your daughter.
01:22:22.000Reach over and grab your daughter's ass.
01:22:23.000That's what a nasty fucking violation that is.
01:22:27.000And you know, you don't think about it because to you it's not a guy's daughter, it's some hot 20 year old, but meanwhile behind her is her fucking dad and you reach over and grab her ass.
01:23:51.000I think it's been around for a while, but it's always when you meet that girl where you look at the forearms and you're like, you know she's going to be good in bed, but you're...
01:24:00.000I had a buddy who found these marks on a girl after he had dated her for a while, and then he saw one of her arms was sliced up, and he goes, it was a window into madness.
01:24:10.000He said, all of a sudden, I just went...
01:25:13.000It's so amazing to me that we spend so much time worrying about shit that's going on overseas in these other countries and so little time worrying about how many people are just getting raised in some crazy fucked up way.
01:25:30.000How many people are completely unqualified to be having children?
01:25:35.000How many children are suffering under the guidance and parental leadership of these fuckheads?
01:26:17.000A lot of it is related to sexual abuse.
01:26:19.000The guy from Hoarders said whenever shit's involved, if he goes to a house and people are storing their shit or shitting in diapers and leaving them piled up, it's always sexual abuse.
01:26:50.000We've got to figure out a way to filter every human being through some sort of analysis.
01:26:55.000Something that lets you know how fucked up they are and why.
01:26:58.000If we could ever measure with a machine, psychological fucked up-edness.
01:27:04.000If there's a machine, you could talk all the shit you want, but I'm going to send you through a machine and the machine comes out like, oh, no, no, no.
01:27:12.000That would be bad, because then the government would use that machine, and so even though this guy's talking radically, logically and normally, we know in the back of his head that he's a suicide bomber.
01:27:24.000Just like the voting machines, the fucks.
01:27:28.000I've just bought a home and going through the mortgage process I found to be very stressful.
01:27:33.000The only reason why I mention this is because of the terrorist thing.
01:27:36.000They asked to see, they sat me down because I'm not a citizen, right?
01:27:42.000So they asked to see what all my checks were deposited, my big money checks that had gone in there, what were they and why did I get these checks, right?
01:30:57.000So they didn't have a chance to prepare for it.
01:30:58.000In the past, what they would do is they would try to cycle off of it, but some people didn't.
01:31:04.000And the people that didn't fucked it up for everybody else, because then people started testing positive, and then people started, like, they started overturning.
01:31:11.000A few fights have been overturned because of it.
01:31:36.000Some people say almost all are doing something.
01:31:39.000Some people say it's a small percentage.
01:31:40.000You would have to go fight camp to fight camp and get guys on some sort of an anonymous poll where they were honest with you but knew that they weren't going to get in trouble for it.
01:31:50.000Even then, I don't think people would be smart to tell the truth.
01:31:52.000There's a long-standing tradition in almost every professional sport where people take things that make them better.
01:32:15.000But that motherfucker better be eating ham sandwiches every 15 minutes and doing squats and deadlifts and he's not going to have a lot of time for baseball.
01:32:23.000That's a goddamn power lifter physique.
01:33:40.000But I'm like, God damn it, look how crazy it is though that there's something that you can take that makes you better at sports.
01:33:46.000And isn't like being better at sports, isn't being more athletic, isn't being more vibrant a sign of being healthy?
01:33:52.000So shouldn't we be looking at this guy and go, isn't it amazing that modern science has allowed Barry Bonds to actually get better as he gets older?
01:34:01.000And maybe allow him to take a little bit of this and a little bit of that as long as he's not getting too crazy.
01:34:08.000Because look, without that, he was a very good baseball player anyway.
01:34:11.000But with that, Jesus fucking Christ, did shit get fun at the ballpark?
01:34:16.000And you look at Barry, he seems fine, you know?
01:34:19.000I mean, no one's stepping in to stop, you know, Ralphie Mae from eating too much.
01:34:25.000There's no one from the government that's stepping in in the name of comedy and stopping him from eating too much.
01:37:22.000Anyway, it's illegal in the restaurant.
01:37:23.000Trans fats are illegal in the restaurant.
01:37:26.000These are things you just don't fucking need and stuff.
01:37:29.000We have a real problem in this country where the giant corporations have essentially completely bypassed the whole system of government and just controlled politicians.
01:37:39.000I mean they just essentially just buy people out and that's what's been done in this country for the last Who knows?
01:38:30.000I've lived in Britain where the healthcare's good, and I've lived in Australia where the healthcare's great.
01:38:35.000And the arguments that sort of in Republican and on talk like radio where they go, I won't have as good healthcare and what about my great healthcare I have now and then I'll have...
01:38:44.000You can still get private healthcare cover.
01:42:21.000So it's more difficult for them to come up with material.
01:42:24.000Especially because they can't draw on real life experiences, the gay stuff.
01:42:27.000So they're really in this weird pocket of bullshit.
01:42:31.000Well, there's the ones that are gay that you're not even allowed to say it to them, and then there's the ones that, amongst the comedy community, we can all say the person's gay.
01:42:58.000I could have been talking about either one of them.
01:43:01.000I think it might be harder in the black community, and that might be very ignorant of me to say that, but I think it might be harder in the black community of that generation.
01:45:13.000We had a contortionist last night on the Naughty Show, and she can, like, put her leg up here, and she likes to be choked while fucking, like...
01:50:01.000Well, they were wondering whether or not he said, he was on, they recorded his phone call with the 911 guy.
01:50:06.000They were wondering whether he said, fucking coon.
01:50:11.000So they're playing over and over and over.
01:50:13.000They bring in all these special enhancements, and at the end, they believe he was saying, fucking cold, because it was raining and cold that day in Florida.
01:50:22.000But the minute they spent 15 minutes playing this back and forth, talking about it, and Wolf Blitzer saying, so now, ladies and gentlemen, if you have kids, please, I'd like you to ask them to leave the room right now.
01:50:33.000You're going to hear some very strong language.
01:50:36.000We have brought in a voice expert who has analyzed Mr. Zimmerman's tone, and he plays it back, fucking coons, fucking coons, fucking coons, and then they have brought in a new guy.
01:50:49.000It's really kind of fucked up that they did this this way, because then they brought in like a new recording, and they said, well, now in this new recording, Yeah, you hear the guy say fucking cold soul you already had that information but you played all this other shit where it said fucking coon fucking coon you knew that's not what he said
01:51:17.000you drew people in and kept me listening tricking me with your old information You played back your old information to rope people and you fucking...
01:53:22.000Yeah, but there's a lot of people who have sex squads.
01:53:26.000I didn't really want to talk about this, but let's talk about this real quick.
01:53:28.000I go to somebody and go like, hey, I want to do a show on my podcast.
01:53:32.000It's a sex-based podcast, and I'm going to call it Sexcast.
01:53:37.000And then Jaden Cole goes, why don't you just call it Sex Squad?
01:53:41.000And I'm like, okay, yeah, that makes sense.
01:53:42.000And then I'm like, hey, do you want to come on the show?
01:53:44.000And then do you want to come on the show with somebody else and somebody else?
01:53:46.000And then they just kind of stop talking to me and be like, hey, we're taking a show.
01:53:50.000Listen, I completely agree with you on that they should have said something to you and that's not cool for them to leave and take the name.
01:54:48.000Yeah, but Ryan Keely and a couple other people were supposed to be on the show at points of time, but they kind of talked me out of it type stuff.
01:54:57.000Okay, so they did talk you out of it though, and all the episodes they did were with just them.
01:55:01.000No, one time they had Ari Shafir, but I was the host of the show.
01:55:11.000But in all fairness, in all fairness, and I'm on your side for this, because first of all, you can't just take a guy's show if he's the host of it, and you're on it, and you tell him, and run somewhere else.