The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2033 - Matt Rife

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast.

00:00:02.000 Check it out.

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day.

00:00:07.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.

00:00:08.000 All day.

00:00:12.000 Alright, where are we recording this?

00:00:13.000 Let's go, Matt Rice.

00:00:15.000 Let's do it.

00:00:16.000 Let's start off the show.

00:00:17.000 Are you still in L.A. right now?

00:00:20.000 Technically, yeah.

00:00:21.000 I'm home three days a month, maybe.

00:00:24.000 You're just constantly touring.

00:00:26.000 Yeah, it's a dream come true, man.

00:00:27.000 Careful what you wish for.

00:00:30.000 But long time coming, you know?

00:00:32.000 Well, I don't know.

00:00:34.000 It's not careful what you wish for.

00:00:36.000 It's just, you just have to learn how to manage this new thing now.

00:00:39.000 It's great, though.

00:00:40.000 It's not careful. 0.98

00:00:41.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.90

00:00:42.000 It's so much better than it not working out for you. 0.96

00:00:46.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:00:47.000 No, if I could sleep like a normal human being, I think I'd be just fine.

00:00:50.000 Yeah, you were just talking about that, the serious insomnia.

00:00:54.000 Have you done anything to try to mitigate that?

00:00:56.000 Have you taken melatonin?

00:00:58.000 Have you tried any herbal?

00:00:59.000 Have you done all that stuff?

00:01:00.000 I've OD'd on melatonin, dude.

00:01:02.000 I've taken 30 milligrams in a night and, you know, you build up a tolerance to melatonin.

00:01:06.000 You need to stop using it for a little while.

00:01:08.000 I mean, I do have to smoke, like, every single night to even have a chance of falling asleep.

00:01:13.000 Wow. 0.99

00:01:14.000 So you just, like, get some of that Be Real Indica, some of that Cypress Hill shit? 0.99

00:01:18.000 Oh, yeah, dude, until I just am just deformed in bed. 0.99

00:01:22.000 And that puts you out?

00:01:24.000 Not really.

00:01:26.000 No.

00:01:26.000 Wow.

00:01:26.000 Dude, it's insane.

00:01:27.000 I can stay awake on Xanax and everything.

00:01:29.000 It's almost like...

00:01:30.000 It's so interesting.

00:01:31.000 If you picture like a light switch to turn your brain off, I just can't.

00:01:35.000 Your switch doesn't work.

00:01:37.000 No.

00:01:37.000 And I think it's like...

00:01:39.000 After thinking about it for years, I think it's the same mechanism in my brain that allows me to think quickly on stage that keeps my brain up at night.

00:01:48.000 I just think about anything.

00:01:49.000 It's not even anxiety.

00:01:50.000 It's just anything.

00:01:52.000 It's just frantic thoughts just bouncing around your head.

00:01:55.000 Yeah, anything from middle school memories to like, man, it's crazy how leaves are green and then brown sometimes. 0.98

00:01:59.000 It's just fucking anything. 1.00

00:02:01.000 My dick is like, please don't beat me again. 1.00

00:02:05.000 I've tried everything. 1.00

00:02:06.000 You've tried everything.

00:02:07.000 I promise.

00:02:08.000 Wow.

00:02:08.000 I know.

00:02:09.000 I know. 0.99

00:02:10.000 It sucks.

00:02:11.000 Because obviously, as much as I work out, your muscles don't get that time to recover because they can't build. 0.95

00:02:16.000 Well, and your brain doesn't get that time to recover.

00:02:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:19.000 Your immune system suffers.

00:02:20.000 Everything suffers when you don't sleep.

00:02:22.000 I've made a really conscious effort over the last year to get a lot of sleep.

00:02:27.000 And I've fucked it up quite a few times with the club.

00:02:30.000 Because there's been times with the club where at least three nights a week when I'm performing, I'm out until 2 o'clock in the morning. 0.89

00:02:36.000 And generally, I wake up around 8 to start working out.

00:02:39.000 And at 8, it's like six hours.

00:02:42.000 It's not quite enough.

00:02:43.000 It's not even six hours.

00:02:45.000 It's like five and a half.

00:02:46.000 And I feel tired.

00:02:47.000 I look tired.

00:02:48.000 And I just don't have as much juice.

00:02:51.000 And then when I adjust and then get proper sleep again, all of a sudden it's like...

00:02:57.000 Like, I feel like everything turns up to 10 again.

00:03:01.000 It's fascinating.

00:03:02.000 Like, I feel a big difference.

00:03:04.000 Like, physically feel a big difference.

00:03:06.000 Like, if sleep was a supplement, if I could take a sleep supplement, and it gives you that feeling you get when you're, like, fully rested, oh, my God, you're just better.

00:03:16.000 You're better.

00:03:17.000 Everything works better.

00:03:17.000 Your brain works better.

00:03:18.000 You can...

00:03:20.000 Physically do more.

00:03:22.000 Everything works better.

00:03:24.000 I've heard.

00:03:24.000 Yeah, you gotta try it.

00:03:26.000 I don't think I've even been in a REM sleep in five years, dude.

00:03:30.000 Oh, that doesn't make sense.

00:03:31.000 It's so not good.

00:03:32.000 You'd be dead.

00:03:32.000 I feel dead, dude.

00:03:34.000 But you're not.

00:03:35.000 You feel alive.

00:03:35.000 I've stayed awake for nine straight days before.

00:03:37.000 What?

00:03:38.000 Yeah.

00:03:39.000 I don't even think that's possible.

00:03:40.000 I think the world record is like 11 or 13. Because I looked into it because I genuinely started to get fearful for my own health.

00:03:47.000 Jesus Christ.

00:03:48.000 Do you agree with needing eight hours?

00:03:51.000 Because I've heard so many different theories.

00:03:52.000 No, I don't think everybody needs eight hours.

00:03:55.000 I just know I do.

00:03:56.000 There's no way I could know what's going on in other people's bodies.

00:03:59.000 You think it's case by case?

00:04:00.000 Yeah.

00:04:01.000 I think it's like everything with biology.

00:04:03.000 Biology varies so much by genetics and life experiences.

00:04:07.000 What have you done leading up?

00:04:09.000 Have you just been Have you been sedentary your whole life?

00:04:11.000 Have you been very active?

00:04:12.000 Is your body very fit?

00:04:14.000 Or is your body riddled with problems?

00:04:18.000 And just genetics, man, they vary so much.

00:04:21.000 Some people have no problem with five hours sleep.

00:04:24.000 And it changes over time as well, doesn't it?

00:04:26.000 Didn't people evolve from sleeping in four hour increments or something like that?

00:04:30.000 I mean, I'm sure they did. 0.96

00:04:31.000 I'm sure they didn't get a chance to just fucking chill. 0.98

00:04:34.000 You know, they were getting eaten by cats. 0.99

00:04:36.000 Yeah.

00:04:36.000 You know?

00:04:37.000 That's the, you know, the rub on people.

00:04:40.000 It's like, we still have these genetics that are from 10,000, 15,000 years ago when life was very different.

00:04:46.000 And those are still the same genetics. 0.99

00:04:48.000 And that's why we're still looking for, like, tribal leaders and shit. 0.99

00:04:51.000 We're looking for, like, a president, a prime minister. 0.99

00:04:54.000 We're looking for, like, one person.

00:04:56.000 Still.

00:04:56.000 Leaders used to fight in war.

00:04:58.000 Yes!

00:04:59.000 And that was how we sort of figured out what to do.

00:05:02.000 We went to the person who had experienced the most.

00:05:04.000 Not the person who's been paid off the most.

00:05:07.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:05:07.000 Not the person who's got the fucking shadiest insider dealings with the party that has the most influence. 0.95

00:05:13.000 Oh, I know. 1.00

00:05:13.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:05:14.000 I'm so happy I take zero part in any politics whatsoever. 0.99

00:05:17.000 Good for you.

00:05:18.000 I'm the least politically informed person you'll probably ever meet.

00:05:21.000 And I know I'm taking pride in naivety, but...

00:05:24.000 Well, for your own self-preservation, that's probably a good idea.

00:05:27.000 I've always said that voting and politics in this country is a lot like rooting on pro wrestling. 0.99

00:05:34.000 Damn. 0.98

00:05:35.000 It might make you feel better, but I'm not sure how much it affects the outcome. 0.99

00:05:39.000 That's a very good point.

00:05:40.000 It seems like at the very end of the day, the same people are getting all the money.

00:05:46.000 Yeah.

00:05:47.000 And don't think about it in terms of whether or not you can vote in your party.

00:05:50.000 You most certainly can.

00:05:51.000 And don't think about it.

00:05:53.000 They most certainly can enact social change.

00:05:55.000 And they can do some good things, especially in relationship with the Supreme Court and a lot of other things.

00:06:00.000 But at the end of the day...

00:06:04.000 The real people that are running the show are the people that are getting these massive defense contracts and massive pharmaceutical contracts.

00:06:13.000 The billions and trillions of dollars that's being generated by various industries, that's what's running the show.

00:06:20.000 That's what's running the show.

00:06:21.000 Man, you're speaking Mandarin Chinese right now. 0.99

00:06:23.000 That's not that fucking old dude that keeps getting tripped by ghosts. 0.99

00:06:28.000 He's not your leader. 0.99

00:06:30.000 Are you a big ghost guy?

00:06:31.000 I believe it's possible.

00:06:33.000 I'm obsessed.

00:06:34.000 Are you?

00:06:35.000 So, really weird side hobby of mine, I go ghost hunting.

00:06:39.000 I've been around the world.

00:06:40.000 Wow.

00:06:41.000 Yeah.

00:06:41.000 It's incredible.

00:06:42.000 What have you experienced?

00:06:43.000 Have you ever had an absolute moment where you're like, oh my god, I'm in the presence of a poltergeist?

00:06:53.000 Not...

00:06:53.000 Still not a thousand percent.

00:06:54.000 I've definitely witnessed things that I cannot for the life of me explain that have creeped me out.

00:07:00.000 The timing has been impeccable.

00:07:02.000 I've seen things move that there's just no fucking way that they've moved.

00:07:06.000 I've gotten answers back on EVPs, but for me it is one of the things I do need to see it.

00:07:10.000 Isn't the EVP like a radio though?

00:07:12.000 No, EVP is just a recorder.

00:07:14.000 It's a recorder.

00:07:15.000 What's that radio thing?

00:07:16.000 I'm sorry, then.

00:07:17.000 What is the one where they listen?

00:07:19.000 There's a bunch of different names. 1.00

00:07:20.000 My daughter's heavily into this shit. 1.00

00:07:22.000 What does she watch? 1.00

00:07:23.000 Sam and Colby.

00:07:24.000 You had them on, right?

00:07:25.000 Yes.

00:07:26.000 Great guys.

00:07:26.000 So I met these other guys.

00:07:29.000 There's another channel called the Overnight Channel who are equally as popular as Sam and Colby.

00:07:33.000 And they actually used to work together.

00:07:34.000 I believe they each do their own thing.

00:07:37.000 But that's who I started going with, so I'm very familiar with those guys.

00:07:40.000 So these kids, the Sam and Colby guys just went into the Conjuring house.

00:07:45.000 I was just there, maybe a month and a half ago.

00:07:47.000 You went into the Conjuring house too?

00:07:48.000 By myself, Joe.

00:07:50.000 Okay, do you believe that there's something going on in that house? 0.98

00:07:53.000 The Conjuring movies are fucking great. 0.97

00:07:55.000 It's my favorite franchise. 0.96

00:07:56.000 They're fun.

00:07:57.000 And there's so many of them.

00:07:58.000 They really did it right.

00:08:00.000 You want to be smart?

00:08:01.000 They branched off with The Nun.

00:08:03.000 They branched off with Annabelle.

00:08:04.000 And I love the way they tie in the story for each one to make it all one chronological story.

00:08:09.000 It's genius.

00:08:12.000 I will say I wasn't as scared as I've been in a lot of places we've been.

00:08:18.000 There is some kind of solace to the house, but you get to know the history of it, and it does make sense that there would be something here.

00:08:26.000 I mean, it's on some ley lines of water underground.

00:08:29.000 There was war spot there.

00:08:31.000 There's apparently bodies buried on the property in the walls of the property structures and stuff. 0.99

00:08:37.000 There's a lot of history that goes into it that just makes for kind of the perfect storm for some creepy shit. 0.98

00:08:42.000 But I didn't witness anything that was that insane. 0.97

00:08:45.000 Some items moved.

00:08:46.000 Some cars rolled off of the children's dressers a couple of times on cue.

00:08:51.000 And that's the one thing I do pride ourselves in these videos is so often we get absolutely nothing because we don't fake anything.

00:08:58.000 So you only get to see the highlights.

00:09:00.000 Like there's so many times we'll go to a place that is so notoriously haunted and we'll be there for 10 hours and get absolutely nothing. 0.84

00:09:06.000 And it sucks.

00:09:07.000 But that makes when something does happen that much more valuable. 0.97

00:09:10.000 It's so much more impressive.

00:09:11.000 What do you think?

00:09:12.000 So do you think a ghost is like the soul of a person that's left behind?

00:09:18.000 Or do you think the ghost is almost like space and time because of a horrible incident?

00:09:27.000 Contain a memory and like that memory is almost like it like shows up in current time sometimes There's a guy named Rupert Sheldrake.

00:09:38.000 I forget what his field of study is but he had this theory about things and he believes that objects contain memories Oh, interesting.

00:09:49.000 He's not the only one that has this.

00:09:51.000 Inanimate objects?

00:09:52.000 Yeah.

00:09:53.000 Things contain memories.

00:09:55.000 And this is one of the reasons why people kind of universally support this idea that if someone was murdered in a house, you must tell the people, inform the people that are about to buy it.

00:10:05.000 You have to tell them, hey, somebody got murdered in this house.

00:10:08.000 Maybe you don't want to buy this house.

00:10:12.000 Maybe you should think about it.

00:10:14.000 Does the potential owner have to ask that information?

00:10:16.000 It's a good question.

00:10:18.000 I'd want to know.

00:10:19.000 Yeah, I think it's a good question.

00:10:21.000 I think they should have to inform you because there's something about someone being murdered in a spot that freaks us out.

00:10:28.000 And this is my question.

00:10:31.000 You knew the conjured house was haunted, right?

00:10:34.000 So you go there with this feeling and this expectation.

00:10:38.000 That's what I always wonder about these things, like how much of How much of, and this isn't just imagining things.

00:10:45.000 This is like the mind itself seems to have some unmeasured effect on the world.

00:10:55.000 Yeah.

00:10:56.000 I think the way you think has an unmeasured effect in terms of like this, there's energy that you put out, there's connections you make with people.

00:11:08.000 They're very, very unmeasured.

00:11:09.000 And you can manifest your own perception of things for sure.

00:11:12.000 Yeah.

00:11:12.000 So what my concern is, is like if you go into a place with a pre-existing knowledge of ghosts, like you think ghosts are here, you think ghosts are real, you have this thought in your mind that you maybe experience a ghost in this place that's haunted.

00:11:30.000 You're at this elevated level of anticipation.

00:11:34.000 You're probably really nervous and kind of freaked out, and your imagination starts firing up.

00:11:39.000 And I'm not even saying that these people are lying or that they're seeing things that aren't there.

00:11:45.000 I'm saying maybe you make things show up.

00:11:48.000 Maybe you see memories.

00:11:50.000 Maybe you experience some horrible energy that existed in this spot 50 years ago, 100 years ago.

00:11:58.000 There's ways you can tune into that.

00:12:00.000 I could see that being possible.

00:12:01.000 But to me, that's what's so exciting about it is like you go hoping for those solidified answers.

00:12:06.000 You're going hoping to witness something that you couldn't have possibly made up.

00:12:10.000 But you know why I think that, too?

00:12:12.000 It's like you never see him in the daytime.

00:12:15.000 Ghosts don't exist on the street.

00:12:17.000 Yeah, but not outside.

00:12:18.000 They're never outside.

00:12:19.000 That's a very good point.

00:12:20.000 That's my point.

00:12:21.000 You're always trapped.

00:12:23.000 So you're always in this weird space.

00:12:25.000 If you had a wolf in your house, you'd be freaked out.

00:12:27.000 You'd want to get outside.

00:12:28.000 You don't have a wolf in the house.

00:12:30.000 Any time you're in a contained area, your brain has this heightened sense of Like, being trapped in awareness and how to escape.

00:12:40.000 I mean, every horror movie's the same.

00:12:42.000 You gotta get to the door, get to the door, right?

00:12:44.000 Everybody's trying to fumble with the keys and the monster's chasing them and they get it just in time, right?

00:12:49.000 That is a reoccurring theme in the human mind. 0.99

00:12:53.000 If you're trapped in a fucking house with a killer or a ghost or a wolf, it's scary. 0.99

00:12:59.000 You know where that makes the most sense? 1.00

00:13:00.000 We did the USS Hornet up in the Bay Area.

00:13:03.000 Yeah.

00:13:04.000 And we had the whole ship to ourselves, which I was so excited about because I love military stuff.

00:13:08.000 I love history.

00:13:08.000 I was so excited to go there and just witness it.

00:13:11.000 And they sent me by myself on basically a game of hide-and-seek where I had to go find them in the ship somewhere after I had to count to 100 by myself.

00:13:20.000 It was the most terrifying place I've ever been because if you've never been in the bowel of a ship, it's so unfamiliar.

00:13:27.000 Doorways don't look the same.

00:13:28.000 You have to step over them and everything.

00:13:29.000 There's so many pipes and everything sticking out.

00:13:31.000 It's such an unfamiliar environment, especially in the dark.

00:13:34.000 It's terrifying.

00:13:35.000 You think, I can't possibly run away from something in here.

00:13:38.000 There's too many obstacles.

00:13:39.000 You don't know if that's a wall or a pipe or something peeking around to look at you. 0.96

00:13:44.000 It's fucking terrifying because of exactly that.

00:13:46.000 You feel so trapped. 0.98

00:13:47.000 That totally makes sense.

00:13:48.000 And I would imagine also the feeling of being underwater is an extra freakout.

00:13:52.000 I didn't think about that, but now I have anxiety about it.

00:13:54.000 I mean, you literally, if you're deep enough in the ship, you're under the water.

00:13:58.000 That's a very good point.

00:14:00.000 And somehow metal floats? 0.99

00:14:02.000 What the fuck? 0.98

00:14:03.000 I don't understand it whatsoever. 1.00

00:14:04.000 I just don't get it.

00:14:06.000 Because of the shape?

00:14:07.000 What?

00:14:08.000 Yeah, that to me has always been like, what? 0.96

00:14:11.000 Yeah, like a rock that size would fucking sink, right? 0.72

00:14:14.000 I don't know what's going on. 1.00

00:14:15.000 I'm too stupid to figure out boats. 0.99

00:14:17.000 Physics is so confusing. 0.99

00:14:18.000 I mean, I get a fiberglass boat, that makes sense.

00:14:20.000 But they didn't have fiberglass.

00:14:22.000 I get a wood boat, that makes sense.

00:14:24.000 Giant ships?

00:14:26.000 One of those battleships?

00:14:27.000 Imagine if they had to make battleships out of wood. 0.98

00:14:29.000 Dude!

00:14:30.000 Like, we have battleships, but they have to be out of wood. 1.00

00:14:33.000 Fuck! 1.00

00:14:34.000 Yeah, let's go back to having a fight with swords while we're at it as well. 1.00

00:14:37.000 Do you ever do Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland? 0.98

00:14:39.000 I've been one time and it's fucking terrifying. 0.99

00:14:41.000 No! 0.98

00:14:42.000 No, dude.

00:14:43.000 Are you scared of everything?

00:14:43.000 I'm scared.

00:14:44.000 No, I'm scared.

00:14:46.000 I'm afraid of no living things, apparently.

00:14:48.000 Really?

00:14:48.000 Okay?

00:14:49.000 Apparently not.

00:14:50.000 No, the ride scares me.

00:14:51.000 Why? 0.97

00:14:52.000 Because I can only imagine if I was the only person in there and you see those fucking animated figures in there by themselves, that to me is like a perfect scary movie. 0.98

00:14:59.000 It's so creepy. 0.96

00:15:00.000 Right, like one of them would come alive?

00:15:01.000 Yeah.

00:15:02.000 But what I was getting to is there's a scene when you're going down the river in the raft where these two ships are shooting at each other with cannonballs. 0.99

00:15:11.000 And it makes you think about, what the fuck? 0.99

00:15:14.000 What the fuck that would have been like living back then? 1.00

00:15:17.000 Oh, you had to be a man. 0.99

00:15:19.000 You're on a wooden thing floating around the ocean and you're both shooting things that make holes in the woods to sink them.

00:15:26.000 Yup.

00:15:27.000 And you're out in the middle of the ocean!

00:15:29.000 Which would you rather have done in that situation?

00:15:31.000 Would you rather rely on the cannons or would you hope they get close enough to battle it out hand to hand?

00:15:35.000 I like my odds hand to hand.

00:15:37.000 I don't trust the ship. 1.00

00:15:39.000 Both suck. 0.96

00:15:40.000 Yeah, they're not ideal. 1.00

00:15:41.000 Because it depends on numbers, it depends on...

00:15:43.000 Experience.

00:15:44.000 Have you had food lately, you know?

00:15:46.000 That's a good point.

00:15:47.000 Have you been starving for the last week and a half, and then all of a sudden you get hit by pirates?

00:15:51.000 There's a lot of those guys, like, barely made it.

00:15:54.000 Oh, of course.

00:15:54.000 They got across to land, wherever they were going, in those ships back then, and they barely made it.

00:16:00.000 Just famished.

00:16:00.000 People died on those things all the time.

00:16:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:16:03.000 It's impressive. 0.97

00:16:03.000 And also, the ocean's fucking terrifying. 0.97

00:16:06.000 You ever see the videos of these giant ships in the middle of the ocean just getting vertical on these waves? 0.96

00:16:11.000 That's terrifying.

00:16:12.000 And they were just...

00:16:13.000 Their food was nothing. 1.00

00:16:15.000 It was garbage. 0.98

00:16:16.000 They got scurvy. 0.99

00:16:17.000 They got all kinds of diseases.

00:16:19.000 There was rats on board.

00:16:20.000 The rats were carrying fleas that carried diseases.

00:16:24.000 No, I don't think I could have made it personally.

00:16:26.000 I would have stayed in England for sure.

00:16:28.000 And by the time you get there, you're so worn out.

00:16:31.000 Like, I don't know how long it takes by sailboat to get from England to America.

00:16:36.000 Like, how long does that take?

00:16:38.000 Was it just sailed back then, too?

00:16:39.000 Yeah! 1.00

00:16:40.000 Fuck, yeah, there's no propeller. 1.00

00:16:41.000 Wow! 1.00

00:16:42.000 I never even registered that.

00:16:44.000 Those people were so gangster.

00:16:46.000 Those people were so gangster.

00:16:47.000 They didn't even know what was over there. 0.53

00:16:49.000 They thought they were in India. 0.98

00:16:51.000 That's so fucking funny. 0.99

00:16:53.000 Bro, they thought that they were in India. 0.99

00:16:56.000 So wrong!

00:16:57.000 And they kept calling people the wrong thing!

00:17:00.000 To this day, we called them the wrong thing!

00:17:03.000 Sailing from New York City to London takes about six nights and seven days, depending on your speed.

00:17:07.000 That's because of the famous Royal Places, Big Ben, and Double Decker buses of London.

00:17:12.000 Yeah, but I don't think that's today.

00:17:13.000 I don't buy that.

00:17:14.000 I thought it took, like, weeks.

00:17:15.000 I think that's today.

00:17:18.000 The edition mentions, typical passage from New York to the English Channel for a well-found sailing vessel of about 2,000 tons was around 25 to 30 days, with ships logging 100 to 150 miles per day on average.

00:17:31.000 That's not that bad.

00:17:32.000 No, I believe that number.

00:17:34.000 Yeah, 30 days is pretty good.

00:17:36.000 I mean, that's still so uncomfortable.

00:17:37.000 That's if everything goes well.

00:17:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:40.000 Do you ever see that video going around recently of those potential mermaids?

00:17:45.000 On the side of that ship in the middle of the ocean?

00:17:46.000 No.

00:17:46.000 What?

00:17:47.000 What are you talking about?

00:17:48.000 Are you serious?

00:17:49.000 Potential mermaids? 0.87

00:17:50.000 Jamie, you know what I'm talking about?

00:17:51.000 Is this some CGI nonsense?

00:17:53.000 There is like a sailor, a guy sailing the back of the ship and you can hear...

00:17:59.000 Moans, right?

00:18:00.000 Sort of?

00:18:00.000 So there's like, it's just a dude on a blurry cell phone video.

00:18:03.000 It looks like a good cell phone video.

00:18:05.000 And there's these things that are like racing on the side of the boat that are going the same speed as the boat.

00:18:11.000 And there's like a tail or something trailing behind them.

00:18:15.000 And this keeps up for hours.

00:18:17.000 And then you start to hear whistling.

00:18:19.000 You hear tunes.

00:18:21.000 You hear what sounds like one of them say, jump for me.

00:18:24.000 Oh, God.

00:18:25.000 Yeah.

00:18:26.000 How do you think this is real?

00:18:27.000 There's no way this is real.

00:18:28.000 Imagine if I'm being...

00:18:29.000 This is like the beginning of a movie, right?

00:18:31.000 You and I are having this podcast.

00:18:32.000 We're being super skeptical.

00:18:33.000 And then in the movie, you find out there has been a very small group of mermaids that have existed in the ocean, hiding from humanity, because we've only discovered 10% of the ocean.

00:18:45.000 This is a fun world to live in.

00:18:46.000 Is it this one?

00:18:47.000 Yeah, this guy.

00:18:48.000 All right.

00:18:49.000 So this video is a couple years old, but...

00:18:50.000 Oh, okay.

00:18:51.000 Nobody!

00:19:02.000 So what is this guy saying?

00:19:03.000 He's got a couple videos.

00:19:05.000 Seems like he spent a lot of time out in the water.

00:19:07.000 That looks like...

00:19:08.000 So where are the mermaids?

00:19:11.000 And this is a much longer video than I've ever seen.

00:19:13.000 Well that was one of the sounds.

00:19:15.000 There you go.

00:19:26.000 You hear the jump from me?

00:19:35.000 I didn't hear a jump for me.

00:19:37.000 Did you hear a jump for me, Jamie?

00:19:39.000 It's one of those things that somebody did the subtitles for it one time and that always makes your brain register it a little bit easier.

00:19:47.000 He just has a few videos like this.

00:19:50.000 Where's the video of the mermaids?

00:19:51.000 It was a part of the same one we were just watching where you heard the squeal.

00:19:55.000 So in there there's a mermaid? 1.00

00:19:58.000 Yeah, I think it's before this.

00:20:00.000 This one might have cut it off.

00:20:03.000 Because what I have found is a smash cut of a few videos this guy made.

00:20:08.000 That sounded like a whale. 0.83

00:20:09.000 This is like a compilation.

00:20:10.000 You know what?

00:20:11.000 It could have been a whale.

00:20:13.000 It could have been.

00:20:15.000 Easily changed my mind.

00:20:16.000 It was definitely mermaids, bro.

00:20:18.000 You know what?

00:20:18.000 Whales do make that sound.

00:20:19.000 As a matter of fact.

00:20:20.000 They do.

00:20:21.000 They make exactly that sound.

00:20:22.000 Also, it could have just been a fat mermaid. 1.00

00:20:23.000 We don't know.

00:20:24.000 I just don't...

00:20:25.000 Whenever one dude in multiple videos is encountering mermaids...

00:20:30.000 I get suspicious. 0.99

00:20:32.000 Your reaction right now is why I love to believe in ghosts, aliens, cryptids, bigfoot, mermaids, all that kind of shit. 1.00

00:20:41.000 Because imagine this shit is real. 1.00

00:20:43.000 Imagine this dude had a real experience, right? 1.00

00:20:44.000 I love the idea of all of those things you just mentioned.

00:20:47.000 I really do.

00:20:48.000 I love the idea.

00:20:48.000 I love that you love that stuff.

00:20:50.000 I fucking love nonsense. 0.99

00:20:52.000 I got so high once, I watched the Patterson Bigfoot footage, and I was like, oh my god, what if it's real? 1.00

00:20:57.000 What if I've been an asshole making fun of this thing forever when it's actually really a Bigfoot? 1.00

00:21:02.000 Yeah, and I imagine you've had that encounter, and the rest of the world thinks you're a fucking psychopath. 1.00

00:21:06.000 That would feel so lonely. 0.99

00:21:08.000 But that moment only lasted like 15 minutes.

00:21:10.000 The weed wore off a little bit. 1.00

00:21:12.000 I was like, that shit is so fake! 1.00

00:21:13.000 This was a similar one. 1.00

00:21:14.000 I don't know if you know anything about this, Matt.

00:21:15.000 I haven't seen this.

00:21:17.000 I've seen this video multiple times.

00:21:19.000 Supposedly this guy saw a giant on the side of a hill.

00:21:21.000 A giant?

00:21:22.000 Yeah, I'm trying to find it.

00:21:24.000 It's something like this.

00:21:25.000 So high.

00:21:26.000 He thought he saw it, so he goes back and he's looking for it.

00:21:29.000 It looks like it's someone walking on the side of a hill.

00:21:31.000 The perspective is very strange.

00:21:33.000 Let me change the angle.

00:21:34.000 The giant one is a fascinating one.

00:21:37.000 But then the guy disappears, so he's making a bunch of videos on TikTok, and then he just disappeared, and everyone's like, well, what the fuck happened?

00:21:42.000 Wait, I don't know if I saw anything in the video.

00:21:44.000 Where's the giant?

00:21:46.000 This is also a guy's making an edit about this whole story.

00:21:50.000 He's trying to find this very specific video where he's trying to find the giant.

00:21:53.000 So he's driving in his truck, and he sees a giant?

00:21:55.000 Yeah, he's driving on the truck, and he sees something on the side of this hill, and I don't know if on this specific one you can see it.

00:22:00.000 Like, how big of a giant? 0.76

00:22:01.000 That's what it's hard to tell because it's just- I mean, that looks- it looks far as shit, but I also don't see anything. 0.95

00:22:07.000 The one you can find- I'll try to find it while I'm talking. 0.93

00:22:08.000 What are you looking at?

00:22:09.000 Do you see something there?

00:22:10.000 I don't see anything.

00:22:11.000 I don't- There's someone moving there?

00:22:13.000 I'm trying to find the very specific thing, but there is a very- it looks just like this, and you can see a person.

00:22:18.000 Like, you can see the silhouette of a person on the side of that hill.

00:22:21.000 It's weird from this far away you could see that.

00:22:23.000 I'm gonna be completely honest, I don't know what I'm looking at in that video.

00:22:25.000 Yeah.

00:22:26.000 Because I saw the zoom in, but the zoom was in the sky.

00:22:29.000 It doesn't make sense to me either. 0.99

00:22:30.000 I'm looking at it and I'm like, I don't see shit. 0.95

00:22:32.000 Like, where is this supposed to be? 0.99

00:22:35.000 These people, it's like blob squatches.

00:22:38.000 That's one of the things that Bigfoot hunters, they just start seeing shadows that look like Sasquatch and they're convinced.

00:22:43.000 And then they convince themselves. 0.94

00:22:44.000 The fact that that show has been on for so fucking long. 0.96

00:22:47.000 They're still finding Bigfoot, bro. 0.98

00:22:49.000 They're working really hard.

00:22:50.000 How do you get renewed with no results?

00:22:52.000 Here's a picture of what the video is.

00:22:56.000 It's a perspective thing.

00:23:01.000 Yeah, I don't know how far away that zoom is.

00:23:03.000 Yeah, I mean that could be a six foot tall dude up there.

00:23:07.000 Yeah.

00:23:07.000 I mean, also, humans are six foot seven, seven foot sometimes.

00:23:11.000 Yeah, that's not that big.

00:23:12.000 So they're claiming this guy died, actually, apparently. 1.00

00:23:14.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:23:15.000 The mountain guy up there? 1.00

00:23:16.000 Oh, no, okay.

00:23:16.000 Apparently, now he says, all right, this is an update.

00:23:19.000 This video was only posted recently.

00:23:20.000 Okay.

00:23:21.000 Admission that was a hoax?

00:23:22.000 He was a hoax, and then he died.

00:23:23.000 Oh, you...

00:23:25.000 Oh, he made an admission the video was a hoax, and then he died.

00:23:28.000 Yeah, I didn't know about that.

00:23:29.000 Oh, well, it's probably unrelated. 0.99

00:23:31.000 The type of person who's out there hoaxing giant videos is probably doing a lot of wild shit. 0.99

00:23:36.000 I would imagine so. 0.95

00:23:37.000 That's why my point on TikTok was I think a lot of people are doing that, making these hoax things like mermaids.

00:23:40.000 I'm sure.

00:23:41.000 Now, that's a product of DMT for sure.

00:23:43.000 Of course.

00:23:43.000 That's how it goes viral.

00:23:44.000 You've got to fake things.

00:23:46.000 There's a lot of people faking things for sure.

00:23:48.000 Oh, of course.

00:23:48.000 But there was the Bigfoot ones.

00:23:51.000 Some of the Bigfoot fakes were so bad.

00:23:54.000 There was one on the Les Stroud show where the guy was like so obviously wearing a mask.

00:23:59.000 It's like a close-up on a guy wearing a mask.

00:24:01.000 It's so embarrassing.

00:24:03.000 It's so bad.

00:24:04.000 At least try.

00:24:04.000 Yeah.

00:24:05.000 Like make some kind of compelling case. 1.00

00:24:07.000 Yeah, Les Stroud is the shit. 0.99

00:24:09.000 You know, Survivorman, that guy's awesome. 1.00

00:24:12.000 That guy did legit things.

00:24:13.000 He's the guy that, you remember to see that show, Survivorman?

00:24:15.000 I don't think so.

00:24:16.000 Oh my god, the show is amazing.

00:24:17.000 When was this on?

00:24:18.000 He used to go, it was a while back, and he used to go legitimately by himself with a very limited amount of tools and he would live in wild places.

00:24:28.000 I love that.

00:24:28.000 Like really dangerous places and figure his way out and survive.

00:24:31.000 And, you know, a lot of times, like, you could see on the show he was losing, like, 15 pounds.

00:24:37.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:38.000 Like, got really sick.

00:24:39.000 You watched that show alone on Netflix?

00:24:41.000 Yeah, it's similar, but this was, like, one guy with his own cameras doing this everywhere.

00:24:47.000 So cool.

00:24:47.000 Yeah, that's why, like, other shows, like, remember when Bear Grylls had a show?

00:24:51.000 Yeah.

00:24:51.000 There's, like, multiple camera people, and they're filming him doing wild things.

00:24:54.000 It's like, that's what they wanted to do with him?

00:24:56.000 Uh-huh.

00:24:56.000 And Les is like, uh-uh.

00:24:58.000 No, I do the real thing.

00:24:59.000 This is the real thing.

00:25:00.000 So Les is obsessed with Bigfoot, too, so he went looking for Bigfoot.

00:25:04.000 But there was, you know, on one of the episodes, they're looking at this footage, and I'm looking at footage that looks to me like a guy in a monkey suit.

00:25:12.000 Uh-huh.

00:25:13.000 See if you can find it.

00:25:16.000 It's Les Stroud, Bigfoot footage.

00:25:18.000 It's very controversial, because the guy who claimed to have captured the video is very controversial.

00:25:24.000 Imagine if it's real, and everybody's disparaging you, and you literally saw Bigfoot.

00:25:29.000 Oh, of course!

00:25:29.000 That would drive you nuts.

00:25:30.000 You'd shit your pants, man. 1.00

00:25:32.000 Yeah, but watch this. 0.99

00:25:33.000 Put it up.

00:25:34.000 As I'm looking for it, he's looking for him again recently.

00:25:36.000 No.

00:25:37.000 Les is looking for him again recently?

00:25:38.000 Yeah, like he's got a video from a month ago in North Texas.

00:25:40.000 But then you have to have the conversation, is it one? 0.99

00:25:43.000 If it's real, if it's real and he's right, then we look stupid. 0.99

00:25:49.000 Is there one or is this a species? 0.99

00:25:51.000 Bro, there's so many people out there in the wild.

00:25:53.000 You know who doesn't see Bigfoot?

00:25:54.000 No.

00:25:55.000 Hunters.

00:25:57.000 The people that are really out there in the wild, they're not having these experiences.

00:26:01.000 The people that are having these experiences... 0.96

00:26:04.000 That's a damn good point. 0.97

00:26:04.000 You know, it's just... 0.97

00:26:06.000 And there's also a thing about bears.

00:26:08.000 Bears walk on two legs all the time.

00:26:11.000 Do they really?

00:26:11.000 All the time.

00:26:12.000 Like grizzly bears?

00:26:13.000 Especially black bears.

00:26:15.000 Especially black bears.

00:26:17.000 There's hours of footage of black bears walking on two legs. 0.99

00:26:22.000 That's fucking terrifying. 0.99

00:26:23.000 Just walking through the woods on two legs. 0.99

00:26:24.000 I've seen it.

00:26:25.000 There's hunter videos of that, yeah.

00:26:27.000 I've seen it in person with my own eyes.

00:26:29.000 I've watched a black bear stand on his two legs and walk.

00:26:33.000 How tall can a black bear get?

00:26:35.000 Seven, eight feet. 1.00

00:26:36.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:26:37.000 They're big animals, man. 1.00

00:26:38.000 I think a grizzly bear is the number one thing I'm afraid of in the world.

00:26:42.000 That should be right up there.

00:26:43.000 Massive. 0.99

00:26:44.000 They're a massive killing machine. 0.99

00:26:46.000 They are huge.

00:26:46.000 I remember being a kid and seeing at the Columbus Zoo.

00:26:49.000 They have an exhibit there where you can go inside their cave because that's where they spend most of their time there.

00:26:53.000 Yeah.

00:26:54.000 And you can see them up against the glass and laying down.

00:26:57.000 It's like four and a half feet, five feet tall.

00:26:59.000 What is this one?

00:27:00.000 I don't know.

00:27:02.000 Bigfoot from 2013. Is this the one?

00:27:04.000 So there's one where, no, there's one where there's like a close-up on Bigfoot's face.

00:27:09.000 Yeah, but I can't find the one where he's walking, or I can't even find video.

00:27:12.000 That's it, right down there.

00:27:13.000 But it's just a picture.

00:27:14.000 Okay, but look at that picture.

00:27:16.000 Oh my god.

00:27:17.000 No.

00:27:18.000 No.

00:27:20.000 It looks like Teen Wolf.

00:27:21.000 When you see it in the show, it's like the guy zooms in on it, he gets a close-up.

00:27:27.000 It's like Bigfoot's just staring back at him.

00:27:30.000 Like all these years, Bigfoot's been shy, but Bigfoot's like, you know what? 1.00

00:27:33.000 It's time to let these motherfuckers know. 1.00

00:27:35.000 Time to let these motherfuckers know. 1.00

00:27:37.000 I was trying to find it. 1.00

00:27:38.000 I thought that's what you wanted, but I couldn't find it.

00:27:40.000 That is the video.

00:27:41.000 It's so...

00:27:42.000 Which one of these was Joey's?

00:27:43.000 Was it this one?

00:27:44.000 This one right here.

00:27:45.000 This one?

00:27:45.000 I'm gonna spark that back up.

00:27:48.000 Thank you.

00:27:49.000 It's just, if it is...

00:27:51.000 I mean, imagine if it is real.

00:27:53.000 Imagine if that video is real, right?

00:27:55.000 But it doesn't look real.

00:27:56.000 In my limited experience, most things that look fake are fake. 0.99

00:28:02.000 That looks fake as fuck. 1.00

00:28:05.000 Aw, damn it. 1.00

00:28:08.000 That looks fake as fuck. 1.00

00:28:09.000 Look, his hair looks perfect. 1.00

00:28:11.000 Nice and slick back.

00:28:12.000 Recently applied.

00:28:13.000 It's so perfect.

00:28:14.000 Recently applied hair.

00:28:15.000 That literally looks like Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf.

00:28:17.000 He looks clean.

00:28:19.000 Looks way too clean.

00:28:20.000 If that was a homeless dude, wouldn't give him money.

00:28:22.000 There's no way.

00:28:23.000 Or if it was a bear.

00:28:24.000 Like, bear hair looks different than that.

00:28:26.000 Everything looks different than that.

00:28:26.000 I don't want to meet a bear up close.

00:28:28.000 That's fucking terrifying. 1.00

00:28:29.000 Yeah, they're a terrifying animal. 0.99

00:28:30.000 But the thing is, find video of bears walking on two legs, Jamie.

00:28:35.000 I just want you to imagine it's dusk, okay?

00:28:39.000 And you're in the Pacific Northwest, so you're in this...

00:28:42.000 Sure.

00:28:42.000 You're in this thickly wooded area where it's literally like a box of Q-tips.

00:28:50.000 That's what the trees are like.

00:28:52.000 They're stacked in there.

00:28:53.000 Have you ever been in the Pacific Northwest?

00:28:54.000 Yeah, I love it up there.

00:28:55.000 The mountains up there are beautiful, right?

00:28:57.000 The rainforest.

00:28:58.000 Now, that's where a lot of sightings are.

00:29:00.000 It's also where a lot of bears are.

00:29:02.000 Now, look at this. 1.00

00:29:02.000 Look at this motherfucker. 1.00

00:29:05.000 That literally looks like a guy in a costume. 1.00

00:29:07.000 That's crazy.

00:29:10.000 I will say no swinging arms though.

00:29:16.000 That would be the only sign that would make me think a bear or not bear.

00:29:21.000 That bear had a wound though.

00:29:23.000 That bear was a bear that was missing one of its paws.

00:29:27.000 One of the other bears probably bit his paw off.

00:29:32.000 I saw a monkey in Costa Rica that had his hand bitten off.

00:29:35.000 And I was like, wow, what do you think happened to his hand?

00:29:38.000 And the guy we were with was like, oh, another monkey bit it off.

00:29:41.000 I was like, really?

00:29:43.000 Yeah, probably when he was a baby.

00:29:44.000 I'm like, really?

00:29:46.000 Didn't somebody have their hands pulled off by a chimpanzee? 0.91

00:29:50.000 Yes. 1.00

00:29:50.000 That's fucking... 1.00

00:29:51.000 Fucking terrifying. 1.00

00:29:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:53.000 They're so strong. 1.00

00:29:55.000 They're so strong.

00:29:56.000 We can't even imagine.

00:29:57.000 They're so strong and they're so aware of the things you want, like your fingers.

00:30:00.000 They bite your fingers off.

00:30:01.000 It's one of the first things they do.

00:30:02.000 Really?

00:30:02.000 Yeah.

00:30:03.000 Oh my god.

00:30:03.000 Yeah, when chimpanzees attack you, they bite your fingers off.

00:30:06.000 Because they know without your fingers, you can't protect yourself.

00:30:09.000 And that's part of what makes you a person. 1.00

00:30:11.000 They also grab your dick. 1.00

00:30:12.000 They rip your dick off. 1.00

00:30:13.000 No, they don't. 1.00

00:30:13.000 Yes, they do. 1.00

00:30:14.000 They bite your face off.

00:30:15.000 They tear your eyes out. 0.88

00:30:16.000 Yeah, they're not trying to kill you. 0.77

00:30:18.000 Diabolical. 0.98

00:30:18.000 They're trying to rip you apart. 0.98

00:30:20.000 They're not even trying to kill you. 0.99

00:30:21.000 They're trying to torture you. 1.00

00:30:23.000 That is the most caveman shit I've ever heard of. 1.00

00:30:26.000 It's far beyond. 1.00

00:30:27.000 They're so different than us, but yet so similar.

00:30:30.000 Have you ever seen Chimp Nation on Netflix? 1.00

00:30:32.000 I don't think so.

00:30:33.000 Gotta watch it.

00:30:34.000 It's wild.

00:30:36.000 What's up?

00:30:36.000 The picture of the lady after the attack?

00:30:38.000 Oh, don't show me it.

00:30:39.000 Don't show me it.

00:30:39.000 Can I see it?

00:30:40.000 Okay. 1.00

00:30:41.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:30:42.000 I'm sorry. 1.00

00:30:42.000 It's okay. 1.00

00:30:43.000 Just put it on the screen.

00:30:45.000 He can look at it.

00:30:46.000 I don't want to see this lady's face. 1.00

00:30:47.000 This is a lady that her friend had a chimpanzee that was a pet. 0.59

00:30:52.000 And she... 1.00

00:30:53.000 That's what she did look like? 0.66

00:30:55.000 She went to visit the lady and the chimp tore her face apart. 1.00

00:31:00.000 Oh... 0.98

00:31:01.000 She looks like a belly button. 1.00

00:31:02.000 Yeah, he tore her face apart. 1.00

00:31:04.000 Holy shit! 1.00

00:31:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:07.000 And he was just upset at her because she was cock-blocking him. 1.00

00:31:10.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:31:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:12.000 No!

00:31:13.000 Yeah, yeah, she used to sleep with the chimpanzee. 1.00

00:31:15.000 She gave the chimpanzee Xanax and wine, and this lady was nuts. 1.00

00:31:18.000 Was this Michael Jackson's monkey? 0.82

00:31:21.000 This is living the best life ever.

00:31:22.000 It was way worse than that because it was a full-grown male, and it was really big.

00:31:26.000 It was like 200 pounds because it was like eating well.

00:31:29.000 How big was the chimpanzee when they shot it?

00:31:32.000 It says tiny chimp had been left alone.

00:31:36.000 No, that's not the same one.

00:31:38.000 The one that tore that lady apart was big. 1.00

00:31:41.000 Yeah, this one actually said it was their friend.

00:31:43.000 It wasn't the people who owned it.

00:31:44.000 It was their couple's friend.

00:31:46.000 It wasn't the people who owned it what?

00:31:49.000 This says, the one I'm looking at right now, it says he snapped and attacked the couple's friend.

00:31:57.000 So he didn't even attack someone who had seen the chimp before? 0.98

00:32:00.000 It was a new person?

00:32:01.000 I don't know if it was the first time meeting.

00:32:02.000 I was trying to catch up to that, like what happened and make sure this was the same one we're talking about.

00:32:06.000 I mean, it didn't happen.

00:32:08.000 There's been quite a few chimpanzee attacks.

00:32:11.000 One of them was really horrible.

00:32:12.000 This guy was a guy who had the chimp as a pet and raised it, but it got too big and they couldn't take it anymore, so they brought it to a chimpanzee shelter.

00:32:21.000 And it was his birthday, so they brought a cake for the chimp for his birthday. 1.00

00:32:25.000 And the other chimps were so jealous that he got a cake and they didn't that they got out of the cage and tore the guy apart. 0.98

00:32:35.000 Yeah, because chimps get very, very jealous.

00:32:37.000 The fact that they can't even, like...

00:32:40.000 I know.

00:32:41.000 Process that emotion of jealousy.

00:32:43.000 Such a human emotion.

00:32:44.000 They knew how to get out of the cage, somehow or another.

00:32:47.000 So they probably knew the whole time.

00:32:49.000 I don't know. 0.88

00:32:49.000 I mean, I don't know if somebody fucked up and left something open and they noticed it and then tore the guy apart. 0.88

00:32:55.000 Could have been in the process of when they were getting the other chimp out so they'd give him the cake that they saw this. 0.99

00:33:01.000 Jesus Christ.

00:33:02.000 She knew the chimp. 1.00

00:33:03.000 She knew the chimp, yeah. 1.00

00:33:05.000 She came out with a Tickle Me Omo and the chimp lunged at her. 1.00

00:33:08.000 Oh, God.

00:33:09.000 Oh.

00:33:10.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:33:12.000 Fucking hates Sesame Street. 1.00

00:33:13.000 Oh, it was the chimp's favorite toy. 1.00

00:33:18.000 Oh! 0.60

00:33:19.000 She tried to steal his favorite toy. 0.85

00:33:21.000 Oh no!

00:33:22.000 Oh no!

00:33:23.000 Oh no!

00:33:25.000 Oh no!

00:33:27.000 Oh my god!

00:33:29.000 Oh my god!

00:33:32.000 Oh my god! 0.99

00:33:35.000 That is fucking brutal! 0.99

00:33:37.000 How big was the chimp? 0.99

00:33:40.000 Because there's photos of him.

00:33:42.000 See if you can see the photos.

00:33:43.000 It's right here.

00:33:46.000 That's him when he's a tiny baby.

00:33:48.000 But is there any photos of him as a full grown male?

00:33:53.000 Because I know there is of him with a diaper on.

00:33:56.000 Let me Google that. 1.00

00:33:57.000 Like, he would wear a diaper, because otherwise he would just shit everywhere. 1.00

00:34:01.000 Almost domesticated. 0.99

00:34:02.000 Yeah, well, I think he's like, I run this house. 1.00

00:34:05.000 I'll shit wherever I want. 1.00

00:34:06.000 I'll shit right here. 1.00

00:34:07.000 This is the living room. 0.99

00:34:08.000 There's plenty of room in here.

00:34:09.000 Is there any kind of...

00:34:10.000 Is that him?

00:34:11.000 It says it's Travis the Chimp. 1.00

00:34:13.000 God damn. 1.00

00:34:14.000 He was massive, dude. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Massive.

00:34:17.000 There's a photo of the lady walking with him.

00:34:21.000 One of the fattest chimps I've ever seen.

00:34:23.000 There was a photo of her when you get to see like the perspective of the full-grown chimp next to a human. 0.82

00:34:30.000 Like, God.

00:34:31.000 It's just a sack of muscle.

00:34:33.000 Is that him up there with it circled?

00:34:35.000 I couldn't tell.

00:34:36.000 It doesn't...

00:34:37.000 This looks like a...

00:34:38.000 No, this looks like one of those drive-through.

00:34:41.000 He's trying to get in the car or something.

00:34:43.000 Yeah, it does look like one of those.

00:34:44.000 Jesus.

00:34:45.000 But it says it's a 911 call from the chimp attack, and that was describing the same thing. 0.71

00:34:49.000 Oh, that might be him out there.

00:34:51.000 Oh, look at the cop cars.

00:34:53.000 Oh, my God.

00:34:53.000 Can you imagine being the cop showing up?

00:34:55.000 You don't know how to handle this fucking thing. 1.00

00:34:56.000 Not only that, he might rip the door right off the fucking car. 1.00

00:35:00.000 You think he could? 1.00

00:35:00.000 Like it's made out of cardboard. 1.00

00:35:02.000 Oh, man.

00:35:03.000 He definitely could put his hand right through that window.

00:35:07.000 100%.

00:35:07.000 A guy can put his hand through a window.

00:35:09.000 Do you think you even try to tase that?

00:35:11.000 Do you think it does anything?

00:35:13.000 Yes.

00:35:14.000 Tasing would work.

00:35:15.000 You think so?

00:35:16.000 Because I've seen humans take a...

00:35:18.000 Bullets is what you do.

00:35:18.000 You use bullets.

00:35:19.000 Yeah, you'd have to. 1.00

00:35:20.000 If the fucking chimp is eating people's faces and you see him on the street, you gotta put that motherfucker down. 1.00

00:35:26.000 If you miss... 1.00

00:35:27.000 Isn't that crazy?

00:35:28.000 It was over a...

00:35:28.000 She was taking his toy.

00:35:30.000 How the fuck did she not know that that was his? 1.00

00:35:33.000 I don't think she just registered how primal... 1.00

00:35:35.000 You know how dogs get with their toys?

00:35:38.000 Oh, of course.

00:35:38.000 And dogs are trained.

00:35:39.000 You're not training a chimp. 1.00

00:35:41.000 She could have been picking it up to give it to him.

00:35:44.000 I think it said she was leaving with it. 1.00

00:35:45.000 Oh, well also, why the fuck are you taking the toy in the first place? 1.00

00:35:48.000 Maybe she was trying to fuck with him. 1.00

00:35:50.000 Maybe we're not, you know? 0.99

00:35:51.000 Maybe there was like some thing going on where she didn't like it.

00:35:53.000 Has anyone taken this stance from the monkey's side?

00:35:56.000 No.

00:35:57.000 Well, the chimp plays for keeps. 0.99

00:36:00.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:36:01.000 Technically, Elmo doll means you don't have a face anymore.

00:36:03.000 Just, whoa.

00:36:06.000 Is there an exotic animal that if you had the means to do it properly, you would want as a pet?

00:36:11.000 No.

00:36:11.000 I like pets as pets.

00:36:14.000 I appreciate wild animals for what they are, and I think there's something real weird about owning them.

00:36:19.000 And if you want to, I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to, but there's something fucking very strange.

00:36:26.000 I want a pet otter.

00:36:27.000 Yeah, that's very strange. 0.99

00:36:28.000 Dude, they're fucking adorable! 0.99

00:36:30.000 Right, but wouldn't it be cooler if you saw an otter in a river? 0.99

00:36:33.000 He's out there chilling, doing otter things.

00:36:36.000 Yeah, I suppose so.

00:36:37.000 Catching his own fish and eating them. 1.00

00:36:39.000 Cracking the fucking clams on their chest and shit. 1.00

00:36:42.000 The cutest dude. 1.00

00:36:43.000 Cutest. 1.00

00:36:43.000 Holding that fish and fucking eating his head. 1.00

00:36:45.000 I know. 1.00

00:36:46.000 I don't want to pet one so bad. 0.99

00:36:48.000 Did you see that lady's face who got fucked up by an otter? 1.00

00:36:50.000 Somebody was telling me about this. 0.99

00:36:51.000 Is there a photo?

00:36:52.000 Yeah. 0.93

00:36:53.000 Jamie, I'm sorry to make you keep bringing up gruesome shit, but I gotta see this because it's an unhealthy obsession I have with otters. 0.95

00:37:00.000 I don't know what happened. 0.99

00:37:03.000 Well, it's not as bad as the chimp, but she got fucked up by an otter, dude. 0.98

00:37:08.000 I've seen cats do worse. 0.99

00:37:09.000 That's fine. 1.00

00:37:10.000 Yeah, but that's a fucking wild animal in your face. 1.00

00:37:13.000 Dude, if a squirrel was trying to fuck you up, you'd be scared. 1.00

00:37:15.000 But look how cute he is! 0.99

00:37:17.000 Look, they're very adorable.

00:37:18.000 Oh my god!

00:37:20.000 They're absolutely adorable.

00:37:20.000 Little sea weasels?

00:37:22.000 Yeah, they're cute.

00:37:23.000 Like, if they were really domesticated...

00:37:25.000 I mean, I don't know if you can domestic...

00:37:27.000 I don't...

00:37:27.000 I don't really...

00:37:28.000 I really know nothing about domesticating otters.

00:37:30.000 But if that's possible, I think they'd be the cutest pets ever.

00:37:33.000 I'll find out.

00:37:34.000 They're adorable!

00:37:35.000 I'm gonna let you know.

00:37:35.000 Have you seen the videos of, like, them showing humans how to pet them?

00:37:39.000 Yes. 0.99

00:37:39.000 That's the cutest shit ever, dude. 0.99

00:37:40.000 That's pretty fucking cute. 1.00

00:37:41.000 That's pretty fucking cute. 0.99

00:37:43.000 I'm gonna find out. 0.76

00:37:43.000 I'm gonna do my research. 0.76

00:37:44.000 If that's really what they're like, if you domesticate them, that's pretty cool.

00:37:48.000 I bet you can't have an aquarium.

00:37:51.000 Or you can. 1.00

00:37:53.000 And treat this motherfucker and otter to a buffet. 1.00

00:37:56.000 Whenever you want, man. 1.00

00:37:57.000 All you can eat is salad bar, dog.

00:37:59.000 That's what it would be.

00:38:00.000 That would be my ideal house.

00:38:02.000 What's that?

00:38:04.000 Oh, but like puppies do that, you know?

00:38:06.000 Yeah, puppies do that. 1.00

00:38:07.000 How are you going to teach an otter?

00:38:08.000 Maybe they're smarter than we think.

00:38:10.000 I don't know, man.

00:38:11.000 Maybe it's just a thing they do when they're scared.

00:38:13.000 Maybe that person was treating them wrong.

00:38:15.000 Yeah, I've seen people miss...

00:38:17.000 Who knows?

00:38:17.000 You ever see somebody who thinks they're really gentle with animals, but they're so not?

00:38:21.000 They're rough, yeah.

00:38:22.000 They pet dogs, like...

00:38:23.000 Oh yeah, some people like slap dogs.

00:38:25.000 Or like, hey buddy!

00:38:26.000 Or one hand pick him up in an awkward way and you're like, I know you don't mean well, but you're doing this terribly.

00:38:31.000 Imagine being a chihuahua, everybody's going to carry you.

00:38:34.000 Oh, I would hate to be a small dog. 1.00

00:38:35.000 Oh, what a fucking torturous life. 1.00

00:38:38.000 I know. 1.00

00:38:38.000 Everyone has to carry you everywhere. 1.00

00:38:40.000 You have a dog, right?

00:38:40.000 You have a golden retriever?

00:38:41.000 Yes.

00:38:41.000 Oh, beautiful dog.

00:38:42.000 He's great.

00:38:43.000 He's the best.

00:38:44.000 I want one so bad.

00:38:45.000 They're the sweetest dogs of all time.

00:38:46.000 He's just a sweetheart to everybody.

00:38:48.000 He's just a big old love sponge.

00:38:51.000 Just super sweet.

00:38:52.000 I want a golden retriever.

00:38:54.000 German Shepherd I would love to have.

00:38:56.000 So beautiful.

00:38:56.000 So smart.

00:38:57.000 Those are great dogs too.

00:38:58.000 Those are dogs though that need...

00:39:00.000 They need activity.

00:39:01.000 Yeah, they need stimulation.

00:39:02.000 Yeah, they need activity. 1.00

00:39:03.000 You can't just have a German Shepherd and keep him in a little yard like going out of his fucking mind like he's in prison. 0.99

00:39:07.000 No. 1.00

00:39:08.000 Also, what a waste of talent.

00:39:09.000 Right.

00:39:10.000 They're so smart and so impressive.

00:39:12.000 They're very smart dogs.

00:39:13.000 Very smart dogs.

00:39:15.000 They're a different kind of dog.

00:39:16.000 You know, that's a working dog.

00:39:18.000 Yeah, but I guess it's just, people want different things in a dog.

00:39:22.000 I just got my mom for Mother's Day last year this tiny little thing that's like literally the size of this coffee mug.

00:39:26.000 Like you could accidentally squish it so easy.

00:39:29.000 Yeah, so people like those kind of dogs.

00:39:31.000 Also, what does that come from?

00:39:32.000 Like that's not a descendant of a wolf.

00:39:34.000 It is.

00:39:35.000 It is.

00:39:36.000 How does that happen?

00:39:38.000 Well, selective breeding.

00:39:39.000 And also, there's a thing that happens with animals.

00:39:42.000 We don't totally understand it, but they've done this study with foxes.

00:39:47.000 Where they took foxes and over a period of like not that many generations, what they did was anytime a fox displayed any aggression towards people, they killed it.

00:40:02.000 And over a certain period of time, all the foxes that were left, their jaws had shrank, their ears were more floppy.

00:40:13.000 They started, like, giving in to the idea of domestication.

00:40:18.000 And they literally started softening their appearance.

00:40:21.000 They weren't alert like a fox would be if it was, like, you know, a little killer.

00:40:26.000 Silver fox domestication experiment.

00:40:29.000 So for the last 59 years a team of Russian geneticists led by Ludmila Trout have been running one of the most important biology experiments of the 20th and now 21st century.

00:40:44.000 The experiment was the brainchild of Trout's mentor Dmitry Believ Who in 1959 began an experiment to study the process of domestication in real time.

00:40:55.000 He was especially keen on understanding the domestication of wolves to dogs, but rather than use wolves, he used silver foxes as his subjects.

00:41:03.000 Here I provide a brief overview of how the silver fox domestication study began and what the results to date have taught us.

00:41:10.000 Experiments continue to this day.

00:41:11.000 Then I explain just how close this study came to being shut down for political reasons during its very first year.

00:41:17.000 Jesus.

00:41:18.000 Okay, so that's the abstract.

00:41:20.000 So this is, I'm probably butchering the story, but over time, these things started to change and they softened their appearance and they dropped their ears.

00:41:32.000 And so there's also a thing that happens with pigs where the opposite happens.

00:41:37.000 When you take a domesticated pig and you release it in the wild, they morph within six...

00:41:45.000 I think it's a very short amount of time.

00:41:47.000 I want to say it's less than two months of living in the wild.

00:41:51.000 They start to display different characteristics.

00:41:55.000 With males, their snout extends.

00:41:57.000 I think with females, too. 0.99

00:41:58.000 But males grow these big-ass tusks. 1.00

00:42:01.000 And their hair gets thicker. 0.86

00:42:03.000 Wow.

00:42:04.000 Their hair gets thicker all over the body.

00:42:05.000 Just instinctually for being out there.

00:42:07.000 Now they know they're on their own and their body morphs.

00:42:10.000 Wow.

00:42:11.000 So their appearance morphs.

00:42:12.000 That's an incredible genetic.

00:42:14.000 It's crazy.

00:42:14.000 So there's different kinds of pigs, but they're all the same animal.

00:42:19.000 It's all, I think the genus is called Sue Scroffa.

00:42:23.000 And that, when you see a wild boar, a lot of them could have descended from domesticated pigs.

00:42:31.000 Like, because people have pig farms, and pigs get out, fences break.

00:42:34.000 Yeah.

00:42:34.000 And the pigs get loose.

00:42:35.000 And some of those pigs, they just keep having piglets, but they're wild pigs. 0.96

00:42:39.000 Yeah. 0.86

00:42:40.000 But they look like wild boars, like from, you know, what you would expect from like some movie, right?

00:42:45.000 Very quick.

00:42:46.000 That's what happens.

00:42:47.000 Very quick evolution.

00:42:48.000 Yeah, see if you can find how much time it takes for a domesticated pig to start displaying wild looks.

00:42:59.000 Wow, that's a bad way to Google it.

00:43:01.000 This is what I love about you and your show.

00:43:03.000 You're very insightful on a lot of things I find very, very fascinating.

00:43:07.000 You're like if Bill Nye the Science Guy offered people DMT. I got plenty of stupid information. 1.00

00:43:10.000 I love it. 1.00

00:43:11.000 It's all things that fascinate me.

00:43:13.000 But if you look at it that way, right, if a pig becomes harder in the wild and a wolf becomes softer with domestication, if you just kept doing that and, like, softening it, like, when you associate those little tiny fluffy dogs,

00:43:28.000 what do you associate them with?

00:43:30.000 Like, some...

00:43:31.000 Some lady who's got a nice house and a nice car. 1.00

00:43:34.000 She's got a nice little fluffy dog that sits next to her. 0.92

00:43:38.000 They've taken that wolf and knocked it down to that over thousands of years.

00:43:44.000 It's funny that the same thing happens to humans. 0.99

00:43:46.000 We got trapped inside for two years, so often they'll fuck up. 0.99

00:43:50.000 Yeah, and also society. 0.96

00:43:53.000 The needs of society, especially society like ours, it's not engaged in war on our shores, where there's not a physical threat of actual violence from the enemy.

00:44:04.000 You know, you tend to soften things up.

00:44:07.000 And the same sort of experiment is going on with male human beings.

00:44:11.000 It's going on with dogs and wolves.

00:44:13.000 I've heard that quote on this show so many times.

00:44:16.000 Hard times breed hard people.

00:44:18.000 Hard people breed easy times.

00:44:19.000 Easy times, easy people.

00:44:20.000 Or whatever it is.

00:44:21.000 I'm paraphrasing.

00:44:23.000 Yeah, hard...

00:44:24.000 Hard times create hard men.

00:44:26.000 Hard men create easy times.

00:44:28.000 Easy times create soft men.

00:44:30.000 Soft men create hard times.

00:44:32.000 Vicious cycle.

00:44:33.000 Yeah, it's normal.

00:44:35.000 It's just, they've known this forever.

00:44:37.000 This is how humans work.

00:44:39.000 From hog to wild hog, how a stealth gene transforms pigs into wild boars. 1.00

00:44:45.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:44:45.000 A barnyard escapee can quickly resemble a feral hog growing bigger and hairier in a matter of months. 1.00

00:44:51.000 Isn't that wild?

00:44:52.000 So that pig right there could have started out as a domesticated pig and got out and it will turn into that wild looking thing.

00:45:01.000 Wow.

00:45:02.000 Yeah.

00:45:03.000 Experts say the crisis is largely driven by people who trap and transport the animals so they can be hunted.

00:45:08.000 Oh, wow.

00:45:09.000 It may be the year of the rabbit, the pig, the bat, the bat, the bat, the bat, feral pigs.

00:45:13.000 Like, how long does it say?

00:45:13.000 Yeah, it's Seuss Scroffa.

00:45:15.000 So that is millennia of chasing wild boars around the woods with spears.

00:45:19.000 Homo sapiens finally got wise roughly 9,000 years ago, which is now...

00:45:32.000 Yeah.

00:45:33.000 Yeah.

00:45:45.000 The 400-pound tusk beast had been transformed into a pink, floppy-eared familiar.

00:45:51.000 In that time, pig husbandry had produced a docile and resilient animal.

00:45:57.000 One bread to survive a range of climatic conditions and to reproduce a lot.

00:46:03.000 Well, that's the thing about pigs. 1.00

00:46:05.000 Like, they have three litters a year.

00:46:07.000 Do they really?

00:46:08.000 Yeah, they bang out babies. 0.97

00:46:09.000 Like, let's go.

00:46:10.000 And they start doing it when they're like six months old.

00:46:13.000 So it's six months old.

00:46:14.000 They're already spitting out kids.

00:46:17.000 And how many piglets do they usually have? 1.00

00:46:18.000 Like eight?

00:46:19.000 That's a good question.

00:46:20.000 I think it's about six, if I had to guess.

00:46:22.000 It might be more.

00:46:23.000 What is the average litter of a pig?

00:46:28.000 Is that what they'd be called?

00:46:29.000 Litters?

00:46:30.000 I think.

00:46:31.000 I'm just guessing.

00:46:32.000 They're so smart, too.

00:46:34.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:46:37.000 Average pig litter.

00:46:38.000 The amount of tabs you have open at this browser is so funny.

00:46:43.000 7.5.

00:46:44.000 The average litter size is 7.5.

00:46:48.000 It's not uncommon for a sow to have 12 to 14 pigs per litter.

00:46:52.000 How do you have a half?

00:46:53.000 Just one little midget? 1.00

00:46:55.000 It's just an average.

00:46:56.000 You know, some 15, some 13, some total.

00:46:59.000 Thank you, Jamie.

00:47:00.000 That's pretty nuts, man.

00:47:02.000 That's pretty nuts.

00:47:03.000 Yeah, man.

00:47:03.000 So they're just constantly pumping out kids.

00:47:06.000 And when you let them grow out in the wild, they turn back into what they originally were. 0.96

00:47:11.000 So it makes sense that if you took dogs and you like slowly gave them food all the time and all the, you know, the wolves that were like bitch-ass wolves who couldn't hunt anymore. 1.00

00:47:19.000 Like, come on, bitch-ass wolf. 1.00

00:47:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:21.000 I got some food for you. 1.00

00:47:22.000 Just growl when the bears come. 0.65

00:47:23.000 And then they go, okay, I'll do that for you.

00:47:26.000 Just like people kind of get, you know, people that have like overpowering bosses.

00:47:31.000 Oh, of course.

00:47:32.000 Like we learned the other week or the other day.

00:47:34.000 Wait, what?

00:47:35.000 Oh, the thing about wolves.

00:47:37.000 Shockingly enough, a creature almost synonymous with the sea didn't actually begin that way.

00:47:42.000 And boy, is it a whale of a tail.

00:47:44.000 A mind-blowing video recently posted by PBS Eons reveals that whales were actually predatory land animals, the same ones that would later become wolves, specifically.

00:47:56.000 So, the animal branched off in the water and became whales, and on the ground became wolves.

00:48:03.000 Oh, man. 1.00

00:48:04.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:48:06.000 What?! 1.00

00:48:06.000 How wild is that? 1.00

00:48:08.000 That is fucking wild. 0.99

00:48:10.000 And hippos, I guess, came from the same thing. 1.00

00:48:11.000 And hippos came from the same thing!

00:48:13.000 Wow!

00:48:16.000 What Bible chapter is this in?

00:48:18.000 They missed that part. 1.00

00:48:19.000 Hippos scare the fucking shit out of me. 1.00

00:48:23.000 Oh, I mean that's a dinosaur. 1.00

00:48:24.000 They are so insane. 0.86

00:48:27.000 They look so unbelievable. 0.99

00:48:28.000 Aren't they relatively aggressive?

00:48:29.000 Oh, super aggressive.

00:48:30.000 And they go after boats.

00:48:32.000 They take people out.

00:48:34.000 You know, the thing about hippos is it's one of those other animals that, for whatever reason, when we anthropomorphize, when we give them, like, human characteristics, we make them sweet.

00:48:44.000 Hungry, hungry hippo!

00:48:45.000 Yeah.

00:48:45.000 You know, like polar bears.

00:48:47.000 Like, it's Coca-Cola!

00:48:48.000 No, absolutely not.

00:48:49.000 Klondike bars!

00:48:50.000 So aggressive.

00:48:51.000 They're terrifying! 1.00

00:48:52.000 No, fuck all that. 1.00

00:48:52.000 We do that with so many, like, terrifying animals. 1.00

00:48:55.000 We do, you know, fucking... 0.99

00:48:58.000 Yogi Bear. 1.00

00:48:59.000 We turned one of the scariest animals in the forest.

00:49:02.000 Hey, boo-boo.

00:49:04.000 Let's get us a picnic basket.

00:49:06.000 Remember that?

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:09.000 Dude, Yogi Bear was like this sweetheart. 1.00

00:49:11.000 And how many people grew up thinking bears were their friends because of that stupid shit? 1.00

00:49:15.000 And then these dummies, you go out in the woods and you're like, oh no! 1.00

00:49:18.000 Mauled to death.

00:49:19.000 People used to look at bears for what they are.

00:49:21.000 And then teddy bears came around.

00:49:24.000 And then when they started giving people teddy bears, then they started thinking that bears are your little friends.

00:49:30.000 Yeah.

00:49:30.000 Build-A-Bear is responsible for a lot of deaths.

00:49:32.000 Oh.

00:49:33.000 People don't talk about that enough.

00:49:34.000 I don't think Build-A-Bear is responsible, but the teddy bear is.

00:49:38.000 By the time Build-A-Bear came, it was already Disney movies.

00:49:41.000 It was already too late.

00:49:42.000 Yeah.

00:49:43.000 It was already too late.

00:49:44.000 Bears are your friends.

00:49:45.000 Animals are your friends.

00:49:46.000 They talk to you.

00:49:47.000 They save you.

00:49:48.000 They tell the people about the Wicked Witch.

00:49:50.000 Oh, my God.

00:49:53.000 They're on your side.

00:49:54.000 Have you seen that video of somebody hanging in the background of The Wizard of Oz?

00:49:58.000 What?

00:49:59.000 You don't know about...

00:50:00.000 Oh, this is very popular.

00:50:01.000 Oh, I have seen it.

00:50:02.000 Now I remember.

00:50:03.000 I think it is.

00:50:04.000 I don't even think that's like...

00:50:05.000 I think it is a person.

00:50:06.000 Some people say it's a bird.

00:50:08.000 Oh, okay.

00:50:09.000 Some people say it's a bird in the background.

00:50:10.000 I thought it was like somebody who worked on the set.

00:50:12.000 They said it was one of the little people.

00:50:16.000 Yeah, they were the first person to go on Sag Strike.

00:50:19.000 Oh, no.

00:50:20.000 Unpacking the myth of the hanging munchkin.

00:50:23.000 So, might be a myth.

00:50:25.000 Oh no, there's an unpacking?

00:50:27.000 That's the problem with Googling things.

00:50:29.000 Yeah.

00:50:29.000 Kills all the fun.

00:50:30.000 You don't want all the answers.

00:50:32.000 No.

00:50:32.000 It's fun to be naive.

00:50:33.000 No.

00:50:34.000 Sometimes you want just fun.

00:50:35.000 Yeah.

00:50:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:36.000 That's why I like to read about shit like Hollow Earth. 0.99

00:50:41.000 What the fuck is Hollow Earth? 0.99

00:50:42.000 Please unpack after this. 0.99

00:50:44.000 That's it?

00:50:44.000 Yeah.

00:50:45.000 Okay, that could be anything.

00:50:46.000 And when they're walking, it does start moving side to side.

00:50:49.000 It starts walking?

00:50:50.000 People say it's a swing, right?

00:50:51.000 Yeah, when they're walking down the elevator road.

00:50:53.000 You don't think they would see that?

00:50:55.000 Stop filming.

00:50:57.000 Hey, keep rolling. 1.00

00:50:58.000 But there's a fucking guy hanging. 1.00

00:51:01.000 Keep rolling. 1.00

00:51:02.000 You know how much money this film costs?

00:51:04.000 Jesus Christ.

00:51:05.000 It's just one of the executive producers.

00:51:06.000 You know how much money this studio's investing in this film?

00:51:11.000 I'll pull the plug on it right now.

00:51:13.000 Keep walking. 1.00

00:51:16.000 Hanging little person be damned. 0.99

00:51:18.000 Please unpack Hollow Earth for me because you said it and now I want to know everything about it. 0.98

00:51:23.000 Well, Hollow Earth compare, it pales in comparison to Space is Fake.

00:51:30.000 Space is Fake is the greatest conspiracy thing to dive into online.

00:51:34.000 It's amazing.

00:51:36.000 It's so fun.

00:51:38.000 They think there are lights in the sky.

00:51:41.000 Like these kind of lights?

00:51:43.000 I don't know.

00:51:44.000 There's a firmament.

00:51:46.000 There's like a glass ceiling above it all.

00:51:49.000 Nothing can go out there because there's nothing there.

00:51:51.000 The earth is flat.

00:51:53.000 Didn't somebody land on the dark side of the moon the other day?

00:51:55.000 China.

00:51:56.000 China did? 0.91

00:51:57.000 I think it was India?

00:51:59.000 Yeah, correct, correct, correct.

00:52:00.000 Um, yeah.

00:52:02.000 It's, uh...

00:52:03.000 I don't think Earth...

00:52:03.000 Space can't be fake, right?

00:52:06.000 It's amazing how many people are into it.

00:52:09.000 If you just Google hashtag space is fake, you'll be taken to these random Instagram accounts.

00:52:14.000 Now, and here's the thing about it.

00:52:17.000 I don't know if they're real people.

00:52:19.000 But I don't know if it matters.

00:52:22.000 Because it starts off... 0.88

00:52:23.000 It could start off as some Russian troll.

00:52:27.000 There's these things called...

00:52:29.000 The Internet Research Agency is one of them.

00:52:31.000 These troll farms.

00:52:32.000 You know about these?

00:52:33.000 No, but it makes sense.

00:52:35.000 Rene DeResta reported on it, and some people...

00:52:40.000 A lot of people have reported on it.

00:52:41.000 But what it is is they have these places where there's thousands and thousands of accounts.

00:52:51.000 And they set up like – there's images of it where you see like rows of cell phones that are connected to this network.

00:53:00.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

00:53:00.000 And they have these people that have the access to these accounts and they're posting things that are really stupid. 0.99

00:53:09.000 They're posting things that are ridiculous conspiracy theories. 0.98

00:53:14.000 They're posting things blaming Democrats for certain things and blaming Republicans for certain things. 0.87

00:53:20.000 At one point in time, Facebook, 19 of their top 20 Christian sites were run by Russian troll farms.

00:53:29.000 It's genius, like, social sabotage at a very high level. 1.00

00:53:34.000 Holy shit. 0.98

00:53:35.000 And so they're interacting with people constantly online. 0.98

00:53:39.000 So if you see people fighting on Twitter, if you say, like, a controversial post goes up about anything, whether foreign policy, trans rights, abortion, Second Amendment, anything, if you go into one of those popular posts,

00:53:55.000 you'll see all these, like...

00:53:58.000 Crazed right-wing and crazed left-wing opinions.

00:54:02.000 Occasionally you click on them and if you go to, I should say occasionally, oftentimes you'll click on them and you go to a page that seems oddly unhuman.

00:54:13.000 It seems fake.

00:54:14.000 There's something like a real personality behind it and you go into it and you see that they're always engaging on these very specific issues and they're always being like very confrontational and it kind of discourages people that disagree with them from interacting with them and it kind of encourages people that love to fight with people to fight back.

00:54:36.000 So you get all this interaction and And these people do it to steer conversations and get people to lose faith in democracy, lose faith in the police's ability to protect you, lose faith in whether or not we can unite racially or sexually,

00:54:53.000 whether we can be a harmonious country.

00:54:56.000 It's like designed to...

00:54:58.000 To keep conflict going.

00:55:00.000 It literally can accelerate conflict, like gasoline on a fire.

00:55:04.000 And then you can engineer to a certain extent.

00:55:07.000 I don't know what percentage, but imagine it's 5%.

00:55:09.000 You can 5% through these trolls engineer conversations.

00:55:15.000 In the public. 1.00

00:55:16.000 And you could get people to do a lot of really dumb shit. 0.99

00:55:19.000 Like if you wanted to get people to believe that the Earth is flat, or if you wanted to get people to believe that the Earth is hollow and there's dinosaurs inside of it and aliens live in there, you could get people to believe that. 0.99

00:55:31.000 And then they would start fighting about it online.

00:55:33.000 And then you could get people to believe that, you know, there's been a bunch of them.

00:55:39.000 There's been a bunch of them that are like mainstream propaganda things, like the Russia collusion hoax with Trump.

00:55:45.000 It took us like three years to figure that out.

00:55:48.000 But now everybody knows.

00:55:49.000 It didn't really happen the way they were saying it was happening every day on the news.

00:55:52.000 If that can take place with mainstream media, how much of what people are fighting about is engineered?

00:56:01.000 Oh, man.

00:56:01.000 How much of it?

00:56:02.000 That might be the most evil thing I've ever heard in my entire life, to just control and design chaos.

00:56:09.000 You definitely are encouraging chaos.

00:56:11.000 If people can still choose to engage or not engage, and that's where things get interesting.

00:56:17.000 That's terrible, man.

00:56:18.000 I mean, the internet is already such a terrible, dark, mean place without that.

00:56:22.000 You add that fuel on top of it?

00:56:25.000 Oh my god.

00:56:26.000 It's no wonder people are depressed.

00:56:27.000 What would really be scary is if you were forced to interact with people on the internet.

00:56:31.000 Like, if the internet...

00:56:32.000 If there was, like, a social...

00:56:37.000 Like a contract that you had to make where you had to give your opinions on certain issues.

00:56:43.000 Agree or disagree.

00:56:45.000 Gender-affirming care is essential to a child, you know, like that kind of stuff.

00:56:49.000 Yeah, ooh, like I was talking about logged hours of opinions or something.

00:56:51.000 Agree or disagree.

00:56:52.000 We have to move to 100% renewables by 2030 at all costs.

00:56:57.000 Agree or disagree.

00:56:59.000 You know, voter ID is racist.

00:57:01.000 Agree or disagree.

00:57:03.000 The climate change is real, and the science supports it.

00:57:06.000 Agree or disagree.

00:57:08.000 Vaccines are the most essential technology the medical science has ever created.

00:57:12.000 Agree or disagree.

00:57:14.000 We need to support the war in Ukraine, and the United States has never done anything to encourage Russia invading Ukraine, including helping NATO move arms closer to their border.

00:57:24.000 Agree or disagree.

00:57:27.000 Vaccines are safe and effective.

00:57:29.000 Agree or disagree.

00:57:30.000 Imagine if you had to do that every couple of months and go over that and that's how people decided whether or not you could go to the grocery store today or you had to wait till Saturday or whether or not you could buy a plane ticket ever.

00:57:44.000 The thing is now people feel like voluntarily they need to voice their opinions on those things.

00:57:50.000 It's like, for what?

00:57:51.000 At the end of the day, for what?

00:57:53.000 They just like fighting.

00:57:54.000 They just love fighting.

00:57:55.000 It's incredible, man.

00:57:56.000 Yeah, people like it.

00:57:57.000 I hate the internet so much.

00:57:59.000 Well, I love it.

00:58:00.000 I always avoided it. 0.86

00:58:01.000 You gotta just avoid the stuff that sucks.

00:58:03.000 Just avoid interacting with people in that way.

00:58:06.000 It's just not good.

00:58:07.000 It's not good for you, it's not good for them, it's not good for anybody.

00:58:10.000 You know, you can interact with people and learn some interesting things, but at a certain level of fame, that becomes really hard.

00:58:16.000 It's really hard.

00:58:17.000 Yeah, if you're just interacting with people, you're going to get people that are doing things just to get your attention.

00:58:22.000 I know.

00:58:22.000 And one of the ways to get your attention is to say something negative.

00:58:24.000 I'm so bad at that.

00:58:25.000 I'm so confrontational.

00:58:27.000 I'm going to get John Lennon for sure, dude.

00:58:30.000 Don't say that. 1.00

00:58:31.000 Dude, the amount of times somebody's been like, I'm going to come to one of your shows and kick your ass. 0.98

00:58:35.000 I've just sent them my entire tour schedule and be like, you can come to any show you want. 0.99

00:58:40.000 I cannot stand the confidence people have behind the internet.

00:58:44.000 It's impeccable.

00:58:46.000 Most of it's not real, but there are a few psychos out there, so I wouldn't challenge people.

00:58:51.000 I know I'm in the wrong for responding like that.

00:58:54.000 Yeah, don't do that.

00:58:54.000 I can't stand it, too.

00:58:55.000 Don't do that, fella. 1.00

00:58:57.000 It gets my fucking blood. 1.00

00:58:58.000 Spoilin'. 1.00

00:58:59.000 But when people know that you can't stand it, then they're gonna do it more.

00:59:02.000 I know.

00:59:03.000 I know. 0.99

00:59:04.000 Jamie cut it before they feed the fuckin' fire. 0.99

00:59:07.000 We can cut that out if you want. 0.99

00:59:08.000 No, no.

00:59:09.000 Leave it in there, dude.

00:59:10.000 Couldn't be less scared.

00:59:11.000 Ah!

00:59:13.000 Yeah, you're traveling a lot, huh?

00:59:15.000 Yeah, man.

00:59:16.000 Thanks to the internet.

00:59:17.000 Do you do anything right when you land just to get rid of jet lag?

00:59:24.000 Have you ever figured anything out like that?

00:59:25.000 No, I'm still figuring it out.

00:59:27.000 I mean, I have to work out every day.

00:59:30.000 That's my thing.

00:59:31.000 Do you go to the gym right when you land?

00:59:33.000 No, not necessarily, but depending on what time I land, I think.

00:59:37.000 Because I like to work out before the show, just to get my blood pumping a little bit, because I wake up most days so tired that I'm like, let me at least get a little energized, get my body moving.

00:59:45.000 Isn't that ironic that when you're tired, the best thing you do is something difficult and you wake up?

00:59:50.000 It's so weird.

00:59:51.000 It's so hard to tell your body that, though.

00:59:53.000 Today was hard for me to tell my body. 0.99

00:59:54.000 I mean, I do it every day, but every day I have the same fucking conversation. 1.00

00:59:58.000 My body's like, I'd rather just lay here, bitch. 1.00

01:00:01.000 But that's what discipline is. 1.00

01:00:02.000 My body's like, you're the boss.

01:00:04.000 Nobody can tell you what to do. 1.00

01:00:05.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:00:06.000 We don't have to get up and do anything. 1.00

01:00:08.000 I'm like, you literally work for yourself.

01:00:11.000 You don't have to be at work until 1.30.

01:00:14.000 What are you doing?

01:00:15.000 Go back to sleep.

01:00:16.000 Then you have to ask yourself, what would David Goggins do?

01:00:20.000 David Goggins would already be up.

01:00:22.000 He's up.

01:00:24.000 You can't decide to live your life by what that guy does, because you'll die.

01:00:29.000 He's one of the scariest people.

01:00:30.000 You don't have to live this extreme, man.

01:00:33.000 But he's lovely.

01:00:34.000 He's a great guy.

01:00:35.000 I want to meet him someday.

01:00:36.000 He seems very cool.

01:00:37.000 I love him to death.

01:00:38.000 As a human, he's great.

01:00:39.000 He's a cool guy.

01:00:40.000 I like his motivation.

01:00:41.000 I like being around positive people that inspire me to do better. 0.98

01:00:44.000 And when he trusts you, like, he knows you, he's cool as fuck. 0.86

01:00:48.000 He's a fun guy.

01:00:50.000 Did he get into it with Stavros?

01:00:53.000 Get into it?

01:00:53.000 Yeah.

01:00:54.000 What do you mean?

01:00:55.000 Like, were they upset with each other?

01:00:56.000 Stavros the comic?

01:00:57.000 Yeah.

01:00:58.000 No, really?

01:01:00.000 Is that real?

01:01:00.000 I saw a weird cut-up video that I didn't know if it was a real video or not.

01:01:03.000 Oh, that's probably one of them Ping Trip videos.

01:01:05.000 Oh, it was very funny.

01:01:07.000 Shout out to Ping Trip. 0.56

01:01:09.000 This is this dude, Ping Trip, who takes...

01:01:10.000 It was impressive.

01:01:12.000 I was like...

01:01:13.000 Me and Duncan Trussell being in love with each other.

01:01:15.000 There's like a ton of them out there.

01:01:16.000 That's very funny.

01:01:17.000 He's hilarious.

01:01:18.000 He does a great job with those.

01:01:19.000 Duncan's a good guy. 0.99

01:01:20.000 Yeah, I don't think Stavros would say jack shit to David Gawkins. 0.99

01:01:25.000 Nobody's gonna talk shit to that guy. 1.00

01:01:26.000 He's terrifying. 1.00

01:01:27.000 His fucking will and resolve is terrifying. 1.00

01:01:29.000 It's impressive. 1.00

01:01:31.000 It's so good.

01:01:36.000 Yeah, this one.

01:01:42.000 You want to be fat? 0.59

01:01:44.000 Yeah, dude.

01:01:46.000 Being fat is fun. 1.00

01:01:47.000 Your mind is full of s***. 0.99

01:01:50.000 That's not okay. 1.00

01:01:52.000 It's not okay.

01:01:53.000 It's not acceptable. 0.61

01:01:55.000 You need to f***ing work harder. 0.92

01:01:57.000 I don't want to be doing work. 1.00

01:01:58.000 You roll your fat ass out of bed and all you want is some f***ing damn cinnamon buns and s***. 1.00

01:02:02.000 Yeah, I love that. 1.00

01:02:04.000 Man, you are a piece of s***. 1.00

01:02:05.000 Oh my god, this is horrible. 1.00

01:02:07.000 Yeah, man.

01:02:08.000 That's why I was like, are they okay?

01:02:09.000 Oh my god, this is so harsh.

01:02:11.000 I don't want to work that hard.

01:02:12.000 You're not a man. 0.99

01:02:14.000 You're no f***ing man, dude. 0.99

01:02:15.000 I'm sorry, I can't. 1.00

01:02:16.000 You're a fat, sloppy mother f***ing whore. 1.00

01:02:18.000 Okay, okay, okay. 1.00

01:02:19.000 This is too real.

01:02:19.000 It was aggressive.

01:02:21.000 I was genuinely concerned.

01:02:23.000 Stavos is one of those guys.

01:02:24.000 He's so funny.

01:02:25.000 I don't care if he's fat. 0.99

01:02:26.000 Stay fat, bro. 0.96

01:02:28.000 I haven't had a chance of meeting him yet, but I really want to. 0.68

01:02:30.000 He's so funny. 0.95

01:02:31.000 He's fucking hilarious. 0.97

01:02:33.000 He's such a character. 0.99

01:02:33.000 He's so funny on stage. 0.99

01:02:35.000 He's so funny in real life. 0.98

01:02:36.000 He's fucking hilarious. 1.00

01:02:37.000 And fucking hustles, too, dude. 1.00

01:02:38.000 The clips he puts out, the vlogs and everything. 1.00

01:02:41.000 That's funny.

01:02:42.000 The young kids today, they respect your social media hustle.

01:02:46.000 It's only because, like, what most people don't know about me is I didn't want to do it for so long.

01:02:52.000 Like, you don't understand, I despise social media.

01:02:55.000 The ultimate success for me would be to be so successful, I never have to look at my social media for the rest of my life.

01:03:00.000 I just want to get there.

01:03:02.000 So now, because of the work I've put in on it, I respect people who do do the work.

01:03:08.000 Yeah, I respect it.

01:03:12.000 If you're a good comic and nobody knows, that doesn't help anybody.

01:03:17.000 Yeah, it's exposure, dude.

01:03:19.000 You have to have it.

01:03:20.000 There's a lot of guys who are doing a really good job with that.

01:03:22.000 Jeff Dye does a really good job with that.

01:03:23.000 There's a lot of guys, like Mark Norman.

01:03:26.000 Yeah.

01:03:27.000 Sam Morrell.

01:03:28.000 Those guys are doing a fantastic job.

01:03:31.000 When Schultz and Morrell started putting out their clips, that's when I was like, I have to do it.

01:03:36.000 Well, Schultz converted it into a Netflix show.

01:03:38.000 I know.

01:03:38.000 Genius.

01:03:39.000 Amazing.

01:03:40.000 Well, at first, it was when he was releasing a new bit every single week.

01:03:46.000 And he was like, well, if I can write one minute a week for a year, that's a brand new hour.

01:03:51.000 Boom, 52 minutes.

01:03:52.000 And I just thought that was so inspiring.

01:03:53.000 And I was like, I need to be doing something relative to that.

01:03:56.000 Well, it's also, you know, the pandemic kind of opened up doors and also closed a shitload of them.

01:04:02.000 But it did open up doors with time.

01:04:05.000 And when you're just sitting there and you can't do the normal thing that you do, you start thinking, okay, okay, okay, feel sorry for myself.

01:04:12.000 That's all over.

01:04:13.000 Let's get over that.

01:04:14.000 And now let's figure out what can we do?

01:04:16.000 Yeah.

01:04:17.000 And if you're a hustler, if you're a guy who's like, you know, like a guy like Andrew...

01:04:21.000 Who's always trying to figure things out and get ahead and do better.

01:04:25.000 Yeah, it's like so he created like a nose and by the way It's a totally different style of comedy than his stand-up which is interesting because it's these rapid-fire punchlines where a stand-up is much more engaging and He pauses more he laughs a lot personable.

01:04:43.000 Yes.

01:04:44.000 Yeah, so this is like a different kind of comedy But it was like really the best kind of comedy for the pandemic Short attention span, rapid fire jokes, very silly, and turn your phone sideways.

01:04:58.000 It changed everything.

01:05:01.000 That's scary to think about.

01:05:04.000 You had to do it.

01:05:06.000 You had to do something.

01:05:08.000 It was almost like a late night show, the way he wrote that material.

01:05:12.000 Yes.

01:05:13.000 Yeah.

01:05:13.000 And the attention span during that time period was so fast.

01:05:17.000 Remember we thought Quibi was going to be a good thing? 1.00

01:05:19.000 I never thought it was going to be a good thing. 0.64

01:05:21.000 Nobody in their right fucking mind did, but Hollywood went, well, everyone's watching short things now. 0.82

01:05:25.000 And everyone, are you sure? 0.98

01:05:27.000 Well, everyone's on their phone.

01:05:28.000 Those are always short videos.

01:05:29.000 What they don't understand...

01:05:31.000 Is that you can't just set out to create a successful show like that, or a successful thing like that, and throw a bunch of money at it and know that it's going to be successful.

01:05:44.000 You have to let them become successful, then you acquire them.

01:05:48.000 That's the only way.

01:05:50.000 Because they'll give up, just like they give up with a TV show.

01:05:54.000 If you have a TV show on ABC, and then the first few episodes come out, and it doesn't do well, and then it drops off with the fourth, You're done, son.

01:06:02.000 Over.

01:06:03.000 But if you have something that you've developed on your own, and these videos go viral naturally, then it makes sense that you have a channel where there's 10 seconds of these videos that have already gone viral, and people know to look for them. 0.63

01:06:18.000 But if you're trying to get people to sign up for some new fucking thing while YouTube already exists...

01:06:28.000 Unless you're completely uncensored, like Rumble or something like that. 0.98

01:06:32.000 That kind of makes sense.

01:06:33.000 That makes sense.

01:06:34.000 But you're not going to be able to compete with them in terms of just entertainment.

01:06:38.000 There's everything on there.

01:06:40.000 I will respect them taking a risk that Hollywood just doesn't do anymore.

01:06:45.000 Every meeting I go into now is like, so what reboots do we want to do?

01:06:50.000 Right.

01:06:50.000 Like, that's a real conversation every single meeting I have, and it's so sad.

01:06:54.000 Well, there's probably less projects than ever before.

01:06:56.000 Yeah, definitely.

01:06:57.000 There's probably less money than ever before, and less certainty.

01:07:01.000 I mean, nobody wants to sit through 8 p.m.

01:07:05.000 to 8.30 p.m.

01:07:06.000 and watch three different commercial breaks.

01:07:09.000 Yeah.

01:07:09.000 We don't want to do that anymore.

01:07:10.000 No.

01:07:11.000 People are done with that.

01:07:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:12.000 That shit's stupid. 1.00

01:07:13.000 Unless you're a sitcom. 1.00

01:07:14.000 That's the only thing that really lives.

01:07:16.000 Yeah.

01:07:16.000 That's, you know, middle of America.

01:07:18.000 Yeah.

01:07:19.000 And then you're watching arthritis commercials.

01:07:21.000 Yeah.

01:07:22.000 Come on.

01:07:22.000 What are we doing here?

01:07:25.000 You know, with Netflix and with HBO and all these different streaming services, it's like, wow.

01:07:32.000 OnlyFans is getting in on the game as well.

01:07:34.000 Yeah, they're producing comedy too, right?

01:07:37.000 Yeah, they're wrapping my tour bus coming up.

01:07:39.000 I'm so excited.

01:07:40.000 That's hilarious.

01:07:41.000 So funny to get a sponsorship.

01:07:42.000 Have you ever seen the amount of money that is spent on content creators, on OnlyFans, and most of it Naked Girls?

01:07:48.000 Have you ever seen the amount of money?

01:07:50.000 Let's guess.

01:07:51.000 How much they spend a year.

01:07:54.000 Only fans?

01:07:54.000 Subscribing, yeah.

01:07:55.000 All the money that comes in.

01:07:56.000 How much do you think they spend a year?

01:07:58.000 From all the influencers, if you want to call them that.

01:08:01.000 All of them.

01:08:01.000 Yeah, influencers.

01:08:03.000 I'm going to say...

01:08:05.000 A year?

01:08:08.000 Yeah.

01:08:11.000 $700 million.

01:08:13.000 It's way more than that, I think.

01:08:15.000 And I think it's probably somewhere around the GDP of a small country.

01:08:21.000 What?

01:08:22.000 What is it?

01:08:23.000 What's the amount that OnlyFans brings in every year? 0.99

01:08:30.000 It's definitely increased.

01:08:31.000 Last year, which is going to be way more this year, 2022's revenue was $2.5 billion.

01:08:37.000 But that's just OnlyFans.

01:08:39.000 There's a couple other sites, too, that have to be included. 0.91

01:08:41.000 Bro, if you get enough pictures of tits and feet, you can buy Guatemala. 1.00

01:08:46.000 That's fucking insane. 1.00

01:08:47.000 How wild is that? 0.99

01:08:48.000 Okay, what's the GDP of Guatemala?

01:08:51.000 Let's find out that.

01:08:55.000 It's like, are they doing well?

01:08:58.000 How much?

01:09:01.000 Guatemala averaged reaching an all-time high of 95 billion.

01:09:06.000 Okay, we're off by low.

01:09:07.000 Well, that's Guatemala.

01:09:08.000 Record low of 1 billion in 1960. Who's not doing well right now?

01:09:11.000 Okay, let's find a country that's not doing well.

01:09:14.000 Uruguay.

01:09:15.000 Is that a good one? 1.00

01:09:16.000 Where the fuck is Uruguay? 0.99

01:09:18.000 I'm not sure. 0.99

01:09:21.000 I'm just going to go for ranking and try to find...

01:09:23.000 Okay.

01:09:24.000 Get me down to about 2.5 billion.

01:09:26.000 Let's see what they could buy.

01:09:28.000 Let's start talking.

01:09:29.000 Let's start talking.

01:09:31.000 That's insane.

01:09:32.000 Imagine if I only fans island... 1.00

01:09:36.000 They buy a fucking island. 1.00

01:09:37.000 They could. 1.00

01:09:38.000 They might be able to start their own country.

01:09:40.000 Make it one of those content houses.

01:09:42.000 Yeah, they get their own country.

01:09:42.000 Where it'd be like 10 models living in there.

01:09:44.000 They could have their own rules.

01:09:45.000 Their own country.

01:09:46.000 It wouldn't surprise me at all.

01:09:48.000 That's only in a year, bro.

01:09:50.000 That's what's crazy.

01:09:52.000 Yeah, that's in a year.

01:09:53.000 Now, how much does OnlyFans get?

01:09:54.000 What do they get, like 10%?

01:09:55.000 I think 10%.

01:09:56.000 That's the cut.

01:09:57.000 I think so.

01:09:58.000 Think of that.

01:09:58.000 But I'm wondering what inevitably set them aside from, like, Patreon's been around forever.

01:10:03.000 Girls were doing Patreon before OnlyFans. 0.99

01:10:06.000 I wonder if the revenue split is better?

01:10:08.000 Maybe the...

01:10:09.000 Is it easier to navigate?

01:10:11.000 Well, I think...

01:10:13.000 Wasn't it, like, they started it with the idea only fans.

01:10:18.000 I don't necessarily think they started it for just girls doing that.

01:10:22.000 No, they told me they didn't.

01:10:23.000 They started it for, like, fans of, like, performers and stuff and different things.

01:10:27.000 But that was what really caught on.

01:10:29.000 Yeah, exclusive content.

01:10:32.000 These gals make so much money. 1.00

01:10:34.000 Bullying is going to be at an all-time high in, like, ten years, dude.

01:10:38.000 Bullying?

01:10:39.000 Yeah, in schools.

01:10:39.000 How come?

01:10:40.000 Imagine you got beef with a kid in school and at any moment you can go, oh yeah? 1.00

01:10:44.000 Here's your mom's pussy for $3.99. 1.00

01:10:46.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:10:48.000 It's gonna be an all-time high. 1.00

01:10:50.000 But in 10 years, people could have pictures of every mom's pussy. 1.00

01:10:54.000 I hope not. 1.00

01:10:55.000 You could have videos of your mom fucking. 1.00

01:10:56.000 Oh god, I hope not. 1.00

01:10:58.000 They'll make it with CGI. You'll be able to do it on your phone in 13 seconds.

01:11:02.000 People are just AI-ing it? 1.00

01:11:03.000 Matt Reif sucking the cock. 1.00

01:11:04.000 Bang. 0.99

01:11:05.000 Yeah, that video's not out there.

01:11:06.000 100% they can make that.

01:11:09.000 But they can make that right now.

01:11:11.000 That's AI, dude.

01:11:12.000 That wasn't me.

01:11:12.000 They're real close to being able to do that with, like, very realistic...

01:11:18.000 I mean, they can make your face move and make words come out of your mouth that you didn't say.

01:11:22.000 They can take old recordings of you, and then they have the bass line.

01:11:26.000 There's a ton of commercials out there of me that I don't have anything to do with it.

01:11:31.000 They're not really my commercial.

01:11:32.000 I didn't really make a commercial.

01:11:33.000 They used AI. They used my voice.

01:11:36.000 They can do wild shit now, man. 0.99

01:11:38.000 And you gotta imagine that, like, if you're like a young female celebrity, there's probably already face swaps of you online in porn scenes. 0.99

01:11:47.000 Yet there's no good footage of Bigfoot.

01:11:49.000 Not one AI interpretation of Bigfoot.

01:11:52.000 Exactly.

01:11:52.000 Come on, man.

01:11:53.000 Come on.

01:11:54.000 Well, I think Bigfoot was a real animal at one point in time.

01:11:58.000 Okay.

01:11:58.000 It just makes sense.

01:12:00.000 First of all, historically, it was a real animal.

01:12:02.000 There's a thing called Gigantopithecus.

01:12:06.000 They found its bones in an apothecary shop.

01:12:09.000 There was a large primate molar that an anthropologist found in an apothecary shop.

01:12:15.000 It was in China, and it didn't match any known primate, and he knew.

01:12:20.000 It was too large.

01:12:21.000 And there was bones that seemed to indicate it was a—jaw bones—that seemed to indicate it was bipedal.

01:12:27.000 They can apparently tell by the shape of the jaw.

01:12:29.000 Like, how tall?

01:12:31.000 Eight feet tall.

01:12:32.000 It was an enormous thing.

01:12:33.000 That's what it looked like. 1.00

01:12:34.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:12:35.000 It's very orangutan-like. 1.00

01:12:37.000 But that looks like Bigfoot.

01:12:39.000 It is Bigfoot.

01:12:40.000 I think that is Bigfoot.

01:12:42.000 I mean, it's easier to believe one of these just happened to still be around.

01:12:46.000 No.

01:12:46.000 Than a totally new creature, I think.

01:12:48.000 Yes, but no.

01:12:50.000 It's not easy to believe they're still around.

01:12:52.000 When did they go extinct?

01:12:53.000 They went extinct somewhere around 100,000 years ago.

01:12:56.000 I don't know, man.

01:12:56.000 They find animals sometimes that they thought were extinct.

01:12:59.000 Did we see what it says?

01:12:59.000 Like, when did they...

01:13:00.000 9.8 feet.

01:13:01.000 Wow. 1.00

01:13:02.000 Goddamn. 0.99

01:13:03.000 Okay, 11,700 years ago in southern China. 0.99

01:13:06.000 This is what they know, right?

01:13:07.000 So they don't necessarily know that it was 11,700 years ago.

01:13:12.000 It really might have been like 6,000 years ago.

01:13:14.000 They just don't have those bones yet.

01:13:16.000 It's all in...

01:13:17.000 Like, when they're finding bones of things...

01:13:23.000 You know, like if they do, the last bone we found was, you know, this amount old.

01:13:30.000 If they find a new one six months from now, they do that all the time with like, they're finding all these new versions of human beings.

01:13:37.000 Like they found Denisovans.

01:13:39.000 That's a new kind of human that they found.

01:13:42.000 I think they found that in Russia.

01:13:45.000 I won't say that was like 2013 or 2014, but I think they just found another one in China that seems to be different than any other human being they found before, too.

01:13:54.000 That's crazy.

01:13:54.000 So there was multiple versions of human beings, right?

01:13:57.000 There's Neanderthals, there's Homo sapiens, there's a bunch of different versions of us that didn't quite make it.

01:14:04.000 That's so crazy.

01:14:05.000 And one of them they found was the Hobbit person. 0.85

01:14:08.000 They found it in the island of Flores.

01:14:10.000 And there was always talk in, like, legend of these little furry men, these little tiny men.

01:14:18.000 Like how tall?

01:14:19.000 Three feet tall, man.

01:14:21.000 But they found bones.

01:14:23.000 And then when they found bones, they realized that this thing lived around the same time as human beings.

01:14:30.000 Somewhere as recently as, I think they think it was like 10,000 years ago.

01:14:34.000 But that's what they looked like.

01:14:36.000 So they looked like people.

01:14:38.000 They used tools.

01:14:39.000 They probably hunted. 0.92

01:14:41.000 They had small brains.

01:14:43.000 And they were tiny and probably covered with fur.

01:14:46.000 And they found multiple bones of these.

01:14:50.000 At first they thought, like, maybe that's a deformed human, or what is this?

01:14:55.000 But now they're reasonably certain that that's a new type of human being.

01:15:00.000 Or a new type of higher primate.

01:15:03.000 I don't know if you would even say human being.

01:15:04.000 But a little tiny little...

01:15:06.000 Weird one.

01:15:07.000 And they think there might still be some of those left in the wild.

01:15:11.000 I know this is a cross-pollination of subjects right now, but has there been any thought as to these smaller bones being related to, like, aliens, per se?

01:15:21.000 Because sometimes they say they're tiny people.

01:15:23.000 Sometimes.

01:15:24.000 I think...

01:15:24.000 Well, if you want to subscribe to the idea that human beings have been genetically engineered...

01:15:29.000 Oh.

01:15:30.000 Oh, that's a much deeper conversation.

01:15:32.000 Yeah.

01:15:32.000 If you want to subscribe to the idea that human beings have been genetically engineered, because that's one of the parts of UFO folklore.

01:15:38.000 I love that.

01:15:39.000 The real nutty ones.

01:15:40.000 They want to say that we were...

01:15:42.000 We were seeded with alien DNA. And so they took these savage lower primates, like the chimpanzees still exist, right? 0.85

01:15:50.000 They took these savage lower primates, and with a specific group of them, they manipulated their DNA to give them creativity, intelligence, the ability to communicate, doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years, which is... 0.92

01:16:05.000 This is a fun thing to believe.

01:16:06.000 Why not?

01:16:07.000 It's the best thing to believe.

01:16:08.000 The most fun is Aliens Made Us.

01:16:11.000 That's the most fun.

01:16:12.000 That's way more fun than like Amish. 1.00

01:16:14.000 You know what I mean?

01:16:14.000 As far as like believing in something.

01:16:16.000 Well, the Amish, they can't be the right ones. 1.00

01:16:21.000 They seem happy, which is odd.

01:16:24.000 There is something to be said about that.

01:16:26.000 I think there's very low instances of autism amongst the Amish, very low instances of mental health disorders.

01:16:35.000 I think it sucks to say, but I think working hard all the time is really good for people.

01:16:42.000 Oh, absolutely.

01:16:44.000 And I think physically working hard all the time is good for people.

01:16:45.000 It keeps you focused on something positive and productive.

01:16:48.000 Yeah.

01:16:48.000 When people get too much time on their hands to think and do absolutely nothing else, I mean, you see what happens.

01:16:53.000 Yeah, these dudes are out there pulling a wagon with a horse, still, to this day. 0.99

01:16:58.000 Out there making butter and shit. 0.99

01:17:00.000 Never seen Netflix. 0.99

01:17:01.000 They look healthy.

01:17:02.000 None of them are fat.

01:17:03.000 They read.

01:17:06.000 I mean, you probably should use electricity. 0.95

01:17:10.000 It's pretty fucking cool. 0.95

01:17:12.000 Yeah, man. 0.94

01:17:12.000 I'm from Ohio. 0.94

01:17:14.000 You'll see them in Walmart sometimes.

01:17:15.000 You can't tell, but they're not like, oh.

01:17:18.000 Are you going through Walmart with a lantern, sir? 0.99

01:17:20.000 No, see, that's where I call bullshit. 0.99

01:17:22.000 You gotta use all of it or none of it, man. 0.99

01:17:25.000 Right, they pull up in a horse and buggy to Walmart.

01:17:28.000 What?

01:17:28.000 Yeah!

01:17:29.000 Did they buy toilet paper there? 0.98

01:17:31.000 That's a damn good point. 0.99

01:17:33.000 That's a good point. 1.00

01:17:34.000 They just have an outhouse and a stanky butthole. 0.98

01:17:37.000 I saw one get out of an Uber one time, and I was like, wow. 0.98

01:17:39.000 Oh, that's outrageous.

01:17:40.000 Yeah, I was like, come on, man, commit to the bit.

01:17:42.000 You can't fly.

01:17:43.000 You can't drive.

01:17:45.000 No, no, no.

01:17:46.000 No trains for you, sir.

01:17:48.000 You familiar with, like, the Rumspringer they do and everything?

01:17:49.000 What does this guy do?

01:17:50.000 He's playing Xbox. 0.99

01:17:51.000 Get the fuck out of here, bro. 1.00

01:17:52.000 Get the fuck out of here, bro. 1.00

01:17:54.000 You can't do that, man. 1.00

01:17:56.000 You're cheating.

01:17:57.000 He's playing Amish and Impossible. 0.80

01:17:58.000 This guy's playing a guitar?

01:17:59.000 He's playing Guitar Hero.

01:18:00.000 Oh my god.

01:18:01.000 Banjo Hero.

01:18:02.000 He's playing Guitar Hero.

01:18:04.000 Look, pull in the buggy and then go to Walmart. 0.99

01:18:07.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:18:08.000 Look how they park too, so rude. 0.99

01:18:10.000 Taking up multiple spots.

01:18:10.000 But also, it stays, you know?

01:18:13.000 Yeah, well the horse is smart.

01:18:14.000 Cute.

01:18:15.000 I might be tied to the pole.

01:18:16.000 You might be tied to the pole.

01:18:17.000 You ever be stuck behind one of these on like a one, on like a two-way road in the countryside?

01:18:22.000 No, I haven't. 0.99

01:18:22.000 It's fucking devastating. 0.99

01:18:23.000 I think I saw one on the road once when I was going to visit my parents. 0.99

01:18:27.000 My parents lived in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania once.

01:18:29.000 Oh.

01:18:30.000 And I used to have to drive.

01:18:31.000 When I was driving from New York, I'd go through Pennsylvania.

01:18:36.000 Pennsylvania gets rural, sir.

01:18:39.000 Yeah, of course.

01:18:39.000 It gets rural.

01:18:40.000 And there's fucking deer jumping in front of your car everywhere. 0.99

01:18:44.000 But the most disturbing thing about that drive was when you pass by where the cattle are. 0.99

01:18:51.000 Because of the stench in the air.

01:18:54.000 For a couple miles.

01:18:55.000 I don't know what I was smelling.

01:18:56.000 Whether I was smelling fertilizer or whether I was smelling decay.

01:19:01.000 I don't know what I was smelling.

01:19:03.000 Probably fertilizer. 1.00

01:19:03.000 They take all that shit and spread it for miles. 1.00

01:19:06.000 It smelled so bad. 1.00

01:19:08.000 I can imagine if you were in that town.

01:19:11.000 Your nose gets used to it, apparently.

01:19:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:14.000 You don't smell it anymore.

01:19:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:15.000 But the fucking... 1.00

01:19:17.000 What are you breathing in, man? 1.00

01:19:18.000 I mean, it's just toxic.

01:19:20.000 It has to be.

01:19:21.000 It smelled like death.

01:19:23.000 It was like, oh, what?

01:19:25.000 I don't even know if they use all that same stuff.

01:19:27.000 I mean, this is the 90s.

01:19:28.000 I don't know if they use all that same stuff today.

01:19:30.000 Did you see any Amish when you were up there?

01:19:32.000 I think I did.

01:19:33.000 I might be imagining it. 1.00

01:19:34.000 This might be the only group we can kind of shit on. 0.99

01:19:36.000 I think I might have seen it once. 0.99

01:19:38.000 I think I might have seen it once and be like, oh yeah.

01:19:41.000 But I didn't get stuck behind them. 0.99

01:19:42.000 I would just hate to get to heaven and God was like, I'm glad you're here, but you missed out on so much good shit down there. 0.98

01:19:49.000 You heard OnlyFans? 0.99

01:19:51.000 Well, they are allowed to go nutty before they rejoin.

01:19:55.000 Yeah.

01:19:56.000 That's got to be a tough decision.

01:19:57.000 There's a great documentary on it where they follow these Amish kids and they go party in and have a good time.

01:20:04.000 But, you know, the thing is, like, when you're used to that life, that life of, you know, toil and work and manners and...

01:20:15.000 It's probably, like, attractive to cut loose, but then you probably feel lost.

01:20:20.000 And they probably know that.

01:20:21.000 That's why they let them go.

01:20:23.000 They're like, we already got them programmed.

01:20:25.000 Let them go.

01:20:26.000 That's a good point.

01:20:27.000 I wonder what the percent is that don't go back.

01:20:29.000 Let's find that out.

01:20:30.000 Because if marriage fails at 50%, like, that's obviously a huge decision.

01:20:34.000 It's a lifestyle choice.

01:20:35.000 Do you know anybody that was ever in a cult?

01:20:41.000 Not that I know.

01:20:41.000 No.

01:20:42.000 No, I don't believe so.

01:20:43.000 I know quite a few people.

01:20:44.000 Really?

01:20:44.000 Yeah, I know quite a few people that were in cults when they were kids.

01:20:48.000 How dangerous of cults.

01:20:49.000 You know, there's a lot of different levels of cults.

01:20:53.000 Is Jehovah Witness a cult?

01:20:55.000 Is Scientology a cult?

01:20:57.000 There's cults that are just getting started.

01:21:01.000 Doomsday style.

01:21:02.000 Well, one of them was.

01:21:04.000 She was told that she was an elder and that she was a prophet.

01:21:08.000 And then when the family left when she was 13, she was like, oh my god, thank god.

01:21:13.000 I was like, someone was stressed thinking I was a prophet. 0.98

01:21:19.000 Now she works at Rite Aid or some shit. 1.00

01:21:21.000 She realized now she's really just a 13-year-old kid. 0.99

01:21:24.000 But there's a...

01:21:25.000 Man, I was talking to Marc Andreessen.

01:21:28.000 And he was telling me that there's successful cults that are still operating in California.

01:21:31.000 A lot of them.

01:21:32.000 And I'm like, what?

01:21:33.000 So he started labeling all these different cults that operate still in California.

01:21:38.000 They just managed to keep it together.

01:21:39.000 With what end goal?

01:21:41.000 What's the goal of a cult?

01:21:42.000 Just control?

01:21:43.000 Yeah.

01:21:44.000 I think there's a natural inclination, specifically among males, to dominate a group of people and have them treat you as if you are...

01:21:55.000 This wise sage that's completely in tune with the right way to live life and you're here to teach. 0.51

01:22:04.000 And that what you do is you bestow this wisdom upon them and usually it involves you banging everybody's wife. 0.89

01:22:12.000 Usually, they all give you all their worldly possessions.

01:22:14.000 They treat you to the finest meals.

01:22:17.000 You eat first, then they eat.

01:22:19.000 You know, you bless them.

01:22:20.000 When you talk, everybody listens.

01:22:21.000 And they really do believe that you're divine.

01:22:24.000 And it happens in, like, Waco with the Branch Davidians. 0.97

01:22:28.000 I was watching that documentary the other day.

01:22:29.000 Ooh, that guy.

01:22:30.000 I almost bought his car.

01:22:32.000 No way.

01:22:32.000 What kind of car is it?

01:22:33.000 A 68 Camaro. 1.00

01:22:34.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:22:34.000 Yeah, I found out it was for sale, and I almost pulled the trigger, but I was like, what am I doing? 1.00

01:22:39.000 What was it going for?

01:22:39.000 What if ghosts are real?

01:22:41.000 And you're in the car?

01:22:42.000 And what if, not just ghosts are real, but like, the energy of a person is real. 0.95

01:22:46.000 That guy was a psycho. 0.76

01:22:48.000 Yeah, because you know what's even crazier? 1.00

01:22:49.000 You have the power to start a cult. 0.98

01:22:51.000 It would be so fucking easy. 0.99

01:22:53.000 It would be so easy. 0.92

01:22:55.000 I just want to say to the CIA, I have no desire.

01:22:57.000 I do not.

01:22:59.000 I like archery.

01:23:01.000 I like playing pool.

01:23:02.000 I did sign something in the lobby while I was waiting for you, actually.

01:23:05.000 What was that?

01:23:07.000 That was a release form?

01:23:07.000 No, that was a cult admission form.

01:23:09.000 I'm in.

01:23:10.000 You're in.

01:23:11.000 I've been waiting for the Illuminati.

01:23:12.000 I was like, how many followers do I need before I get the Illuminati invite?

01:23:14.000 We bought land in Wyoming.

01:23:15.000 We're good to go.

01:23:18.000 I was supposed to be there last week, actually.

01:23:20.000 I was supposed to go to Jackson Hole.

01:23:21.000 Yeah.

01:23:22.000 I haven't been.

01:23:22.000 It was my only week off, and then I went to Chappelle's birthday instead.

01:23:25.000 It's so pretty up there, man.

01:23:27.000 I want to go so bad.

01:23:28.000 It's so pretty.

01:23:29.000 Do you watch Yellowstone?

01:23:31.000 I haven't seen a TV show in like a year.

01:23:34.000 Really?

01:23:34.000 Yeah.

01:23:35.000 Do you watch anything when you're on the road?

01:23:37.000 Do you watch YouTube?

01:23:38.000 No, I really don't have time.

01:23:40.000 It's like you travel, you do the shows, and then when I get done with the shows, I go back to my room and edit for like two hours.

01:23:45.000 Do you find that that...

01:23:47.000 Sometimes gets in the way of writing because you're not experiencing enough life.

01:23:51.000 Like, one of the things, like, remember in the 80s, it was, like, stock material that everybody would talk about.

01:23:57.000 Airline seats not moving back, and do not disturb, nobody listens.

01:24:03.000 It was because that was your life experience.

01:24:06.000 You were always just traveling.

01:24:07.000 It makes it very unrelatable.

01:24:09.000 Yeah, because I also, and nobody really knows this because all my clips are about crowd work, but most of my jokes are stories.

01:24:16.000 I don't know if I have a joke shorter than like three minutes.

01:24:19.000 So with me not really being out there and experiencing a lot of things, I am curious because I'm about to shoot my next special in September.

01:24:25.000 And when I start all over to build this brand new hour, I'm like, what is going to be the theme of it?

01:24:29.000 Is it going to be about my current state of life?

01:24:32.000 I'm not 100% sure yet.

01:24:34.000 But that's the most fun thing about stand-up is having to start all over and figure out what this new hour is.

01:24:39.000 It's very fun.

01:24:40.000 Yeah.

01:24:41.000 It's scary.

01:24:42.000 It's very scary.

01:24:43.000 It's just exciting.

01:24:44.000 You know, it's a creative thing, you know, coming up with a new thing.

01:24:47.000 And also you're doing it live in front of people.

01:24:50.000 Yeah.

01:24:50.000 Like there's a lot of bits where I've done them and they were kind of successful.

01:24:53.000 I'm like, you know, I gotta put that one on the shelf for a bit.

01:24:55.000 I gotta think about that one.

01:24:56.000 Because I think I'm saying some things that I'm not really believing.

01:24:58.000 I'm kind of like pushing it too much.

01:25:00.000 I'm trying to like make it work instead of like reassessing.

01:25:03.000 So let me reassess.

01:25:04.000 Oh yeah.

01:25:05.000 So it's kind of a fun process because you put it together over time and at the end you're like, I got it.

01:25:13.000 This is it.

01:25:13.000 This is the right way to say this thing.

01:25:15.000 And you have to test it in so many different settings as well.

01:25:18.000 Yes, yes.

01:25:19.000 Like last night, we've been doing this tour for the better part of this year and we're in these amazing theaters from 1,500 to 6,000, which is incredible.

01:25:28.000 But sometimes you have to remember that's not always real stand-up.

01:25:31.000 For some new shit that I'm working on for the upcoming special, I popped in a couple local spots here last night where it was like 25 people the first one and like 30 the next one. 0.74

01:25:40.000 Perfect. 0.96

01:25:40.000 I missed this. 0.96

01:25:41.000 This is where you see if jokes work.

01:25:43.000 Yeah, little crowds like the belly room at the Comedy Store is the best.

01:25:47.000 It's like a little truth serum.

01:25:49.000 You know, you just, you feel the grossness of a fake, like the way you're phrasing something.

01:25:55.000 You feel like you're not connected to it.

01:25:57.000 Yeah, you're like, this isn't how a comedian would say this.

01:25:59.000 The comedian would say, you're not attached to it.

01:26:02.000 Yeah, I know what you mean.

01:26:03.000 You can't just present in front of 25 people.

01:26:06.000 You've got to be there with them.

01:26:07.000 You've got to really be locked in.

01:26:09.000 And they know it.

01:26:10.000 Because if you're up there, I noticed the other day, you could do that in a large crowd of 3,000 people because there's this sort of weird disconnect.

01:26:19.000 Yeah, it's more performance-based.

01:26:21.000 It's a different feel.

01:26:23.000 That's why I wanted to do all these theaters right after leaving the comedy clubs.

01:26:28.000 Because, you know, obviously agents go, well, the numbers we're doing, what stadiums do you want to do?

01:26:32.000 I was like, dude, can I get used to a theater first?

01:26:34.000 Because it's a totally different performance.

01:26:37.000 It's a different timing, for sure.

01:26:39.000 Yeah.

01:26:39.000 You gotta hold laughs longer.

01:26:41.000 And also, I realized once I went to watch Louis Black, and we were doing the same place the next night, and we got there early, and Joey and I went across the street, and it was like right there.

01:26:53.000 And so we were sitting in the audience, and when he was killing, when he got big laughs, he would occasionally have a tag that he would hit that I didn't hear, because so many people were laughing.

01:27:04.000 Mm-hmm.

01:27:04.000 And I was like, oh, wow, that's something to take into consideration because I didn't think about that because we were like in like probably the 30th row back and it was a pretty big theater.

01:27:14.000 And so the roars were really loud.

01:27:16.000 Like when he was killing, it was really loud.

01:27:18.000 So as the laughter, what?

01:27:20.000 And then he was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:27:21.000 And I didn't know what he said.

01:27:23.000 I'm like, oh, you can't hear because people are, you got to wait.

01:27:26.000 Like, for certain tags, you can't hit them like a comedy club.

01:27:29.000 No.

01:27:29.000 Like, bang, bang, bang.

01:27:30.000 The laughter, the loudness of the laughter when you're in the midst of it, it's too loud.

01:27:34.000 Yeah.

01:27:35.000 Oh, dude, I got so lucky.

01:27:36.000 I was able to be on the show with one of Chappelle's birthday shows at MSG this past week.

01:27:42.000 Yeah, I saw that.

01:27:42.000 I had never been to a stadium before.

01:27:44.000 I had never even, like, been to Madison Square Garden.

01:27:47.000 So I don't know that I've really been to a stadium.

01:27:50.000 No, I've been to a Clippers game in my life.

01:27:53.000 That's it.

01:27:53.000 But I've never performed anything that big.

01:27:55.000 And like my first couple jokes up there, I realized I stepped on the laughs probably five times.

01:27:59.000 Yeah.

01:28:00.000 Because it takes...

01:28:00.000 You literally have to go...

01:28:01.000 Like the laughs take so much longer to get to you.

01:28:06.000 Yeah, 15,000 people is another level up above theater.

01:28:09.000 Yeah.

01:28:09.000 But the positive energy when the joke does hit...

01:28:14.000 The biggest place I ever did, Dave and I did 25,000 people in Tacoma, Washington.

01:28:20.000 That was bananas.

01:28:21.000 25,000?

01:28:24.000 It was bananas.

01:28:25.000 Yeah, it was so fun.

01:28:26.000 What was the venue?

01:28:26.000 Goggins was there for that one.

01:28:28.000 No way.

01:28:28.000 Yeah.

01:28:29.000 It was the Tacoma Dome.

01:28:31.000 Comodon.

01:28:32.000 That's a sick name. 0.64

01:28:33.000 It was dope. 0.86

01:28:34.000 We did it in the round too.

01:28:35.000 It was bonkers.

01:28:36.000 The laughs were just like, what is this? 0.99

01:28:39.000 When you hit a big punchline and the whole place just falls out, you're like, holy shit. 0.99

01:28:44.000 I haven't done in the round yet. 0.98

01:28:45.000 I don't know if I'd like it.

01:28:46.000 It's great.

01:28:47.000 Is it?

01:28:47.000 It's intimate.

01:28:48.000 It's weirdly intimate.

01:28:50.000 Oh, I would like that then.

01:28:51.000 The thing is, you're really in there with the people as opposed to a theater.

01:28:56.000 See, the thing about, or if you're doing an arena and it doesn't have a round, the thing is like you have this big-ass stage and you're above everybody and there's like a gap.

01:29:06.000 And then, so there's the stage, which is you, and then there's them.

01:29:10.000 But when you're in the round, Then it's everyone in a circle.

01:29:15.000 So people are looking at people.

01:29:18.000 Everyone's in there together.

01:29:19.000 I didn't think about that.

01:29:20.000 They are looking across at each other.

01:29:22.000 And we're all feeding off each other and everybody's having a good time.

01:29:26.000 So everyone's laughing and it's fun and you're wandering around.

01:29:31.000 So it's playful.

01:29:32.000 You're wandering around this big circle.

01:29:34.000 It's great. 1.00

01:29:35.000 Fuck, I'm gonna have to try it. 1.00

01:29:36.000 I love it. 1.00

01:29:36.000 I'm gonna have to try it. 1.00

01:29:37.000 It's my favorite way to do big places.

01:29:39.000 That's incredible.

01:29:40.000 By far.

01:29:41.000 I don't like doing them the other way.

01:29:42.000 The other way it just feels like I want to be out there with you guys.

01:29:44.000 I don't want to be like up here.

01:29:46.000 Yeah.

01:29:46.000 It feels weird.

01:29:47.000 I also feel bad for somebody sitting so far. 0.93

01:29:49.000 Fucking far away in an arena. 0.87

01:29:52.000 Well, usually they have big screens too. 0.98

01:29:54.000 But that's not that's not what you're there for.

01:29:55.000 Yeah, but it's you're there also just like the experience of experiencing it with a lot of people there, you know?

01:30:02.000 Yeah, like there's a thing about experiencing things with a lot of people like a big like I saw Guns N' Roses in Greece No way.

01:30:08.000 I saw Guns N' Roses in Athens.

01:30:09.000 I saw that photo.

01:30:10.000 It was so dope.

01:30:11.000 But it was just the feel of all those people having a good time.

01:30:17.000 There's like just this wave of fun and positive feeling that's like in the air that I think people...

01:30:25.000 It's like that thing that I was saying that there's things in the world that you can't measure, but they're real and we seek them out.

01:30:34.000 You know, we seek out these weird moments where people collectively can experience something at the same time.

01:30:41.000 I love that, like, psychological sync up of there's just something contagious of being in the middle of a crowd of people enjoying themselves that just takes...

01:30:50.000 So you want to enjoy yourself as well.

01:30:51.000 Yeah.

01:30:52.000 It's contagious.

01:30:53.000 It's contagious.

01:30:53.000 Laughter for sure is.

01:30:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:30:55.000 But fun is, too.

01:30:56.000 You know, it's good times are contagious.

01:30:58.000 You know, it's...

01:30:59.000 And so are bad times.

01:31:01.000 That's a good book.

01:31:01.000 Yeah.

01:31:02.000 Good times are contagious.

01:31:03.000 Yeah.

01:31:04.000 Sounds like it's a book on STDs, though.

01:31:06.000 Never mind.

01:31:07.000 We'll take it back.

01:31:08.000 Never mind. 1.00

01:31:09.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:31:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:31:13.000 It's just a weird aspect of being a person. 1.00

01:31:17.000 We have this stupid myth of the loner. 1.00

01:31:23.000 I'd like to be by myself. 1.00

01:31:25.000 That's not good.

01:31:26.000 No.

01:31:27.000 That's not normal.

01:31:29.000 Somebody's made to be that way, I think.

01:31:30.000 Every now and again, it's good to be by yourself.

01:31:32.000 But when I think about loners, I think of like Ted Kaczynski. 0.99

01:31:35.000 I think of like the Unabomber or some fucking psycho out there laying bear traps in the middle of Montana. 1.00

01:31:41.000 You have to laugh or you will go fucking insane. 0.99

01:31:43.000 I think people need people too. 0.98

01:31:46.000 I just don't think it's a good thing to be by yourself too much.

01:31:49.000 I think that's one of the things that really freaked everybody out about the pandemic.

01:31:53.000 When everything got locked down and people were terrified and they were in their homes for months and months at a time without any interaction with other people.

01:32:01.000 When they finally did see people, they didn't know how to behave.

01:32:04.000 They were weirded out.

01:32:06.000 Everybody was scared.

01:32:07.000 Yeah.

01:32:07.000 It was so uncomfortable.

01:32:09.000 It was so weird.

01:32:10.000 It was so weird. 0.91

01:32:12.000 It was such a mindfuck.

01:32:13.000 When you tour, do you travel with a lot of people? 0.96

01:32:17.000 No.

01:32:18.000 No?

01:32:19.000 No.

01:32:20.000 Because that's like the most specific thing I've been trying to build with the tour I'm on right now is I wanted to make sure I surrounded myself with people who were going to make all of this journey positive and fun for me.

01:32:31.000 If you have a lot of people...

01:32:33.000 Because you need people.

01:32:34.000 Not a lot of people, but the right people.

01:32:36.000 Well, yeah.

01:32:37.000 Look, good people.

01:32:38.000 I travel with good people that I know.

01:32:40.000 Like comics that I know.

01:32:42.000 People that I know.

01:32:43.000 Yeah.

01:32:43.000 But sometimes people get on to Rajas.

01:32:46.000 I won't understand.

01:32:47.000 It's just chaos.

01:32:49.000 Not only that, there's always problems.

01:32:51.000 There's always the guy that's late.

01:32:53.000 There's always the guy that's a mooch. 1.00

01:32:54.000 There's always a guy that does this. 0.99

01:32:56.000 There's always a guy that's trying to get you to fucking go in on some liquor deal with him. 0.97

01:33:00.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:33:02.000 Or CBD. I know guys who have fucking entourages. 1.00

01:33:06.000 And when I run into the entourage, it's like there's a few of them that are really cool. 0.99

01:33:09.000 There's a few of them that are just, you know, like you got a lot of people around you, man.

01:33:14.000 This is a lot of things to manage.

01:33:16.000 Do you like this?

01:33:18.000 Some people like it, though.

01:33:19.000 They're like rolling deep.

01:33:20.000 You know, two, three SUVs.

01:33:22.000 No, dude.

01:33:24.000 I also don't love going out.

01:33:26.000 Oh, out afterwards?

01:33:27.000 Yeah, dude.

01:33:28.000 I mean, every city we go to is like, hey, this club wants to host you for a free night or whatever.

01:33:33.000 And I'm like, dude, I not only need, but want sleep.

01:33:36.000 Yeah, but you can't get it, so stay out.

01:33:39.000 I definitely wouldn't get it if I went out.

01:33:40.000 Maybe if you went out, maybe that's what's the key to you getting some sleep.

01:33:44.000 Go out, do a little partying.

01:33:47.000 Do you drink?

01:33:49.000 No, not really.

01:33:50.000 Not at all?

01:33:51.000 Like, for an occasion.

01:33:52.000 Does that put you out?

01:33:54.000 No, because I'm a tequila guy.

01:33:56.000 Which is kind of that upper, a little bit.

01:33:58.000 Is that real?

01:33:59.000 I always do feel like I have a little bit more energy.

01:34:01.000 We've Googled that before, haven't we?

01:34:02.000 Is that a myth?

01:34:03.000 Is that a myth?

01:34:04.000 It's alcohol.

01:34:05.000 It's alcohol.

01:34:06.000 But isn't there some sort of an effect that's different?

01:34:10.000 Is tequila...

01:34:11.000 It seems different.

01:34:12.000 It's clear.

01:34:13.000 That's the difference.

01:34:14.000 That's the one difference that we did dig into.

01:34:15.000 It's clear.

01:34:16.000 It doesn't have additives.

01:34:17.000 It's probably the most pure.

01:34:18.000 And any of those impurities are things that can cause hangover.

01:34:20.000 I mean, I'm not a fan of any of it.

01:34:22.000 I hate all alcohol.

01:34:24.000 I don't enjoy any of it. 1.00

01:34:26.000 It tastes fucking terrible. 0.99

01:34:28.000 It's not good for you. 0.99

01:34:29.000 All those things are true, but...

01:34:31.000 I like it.

01:34:32.000 What's your drink?

01:34:33.000 I like a whiskey. 1.00

01:34:34.000 Oh, yeah, you're a grown fucking man. 1.00

01:34:36.000 I like an American whiskey on the rocks. 1.00

01:34:38.000 I just, I can't handle it.

01:34:39.000 I like that taste.

01:34:40.000 I like the...

01:34:42.000 Woo! 0.99

01:34:43.000 You like suffrage?

01:34:44.000 I like it.

01:34:44.000 It's not suffering.

01:34:45.000 No, no, it's like...

01:34:47.000 Yeah!

01:34:48.000 That's what it's like.

01:34:50.000 You don't have to like...

01:34:51.000 You can also enjoy...

01:34:52.000 I enjoy that too. 1.00

01:34:54.000 I like fucking Gatorade shit. 1.00

01:34:56.000 I like a lot of things. 1.00

01:34:59.000 When I drink Gatorade, I never go...

01:35:01.000 But if I drink Buffalo Trace, I'll drink Buffalo Trace and go...

01:35:08.000 You don't...

01:35:11.000 You don't smoke cigarettes, do you?

01:35:12.000 I have smoked cigarettes before comedy shows.

01:35:15.000 Oh, really?

01:35:16.000 Does it just calm you down?

01:35:17.000 No, it lights me up.

01:35:18.000 Lights my brain down.

01:35:19.000 Really?

01:35:19.000 Yeah.

01:35:20.000 Never could do it.

01:35:20.000 My parents were heavy smokers.

01:35:22.000 I like cigars off.

01:35:24.000 Well, it's a very dangerous habit.

01:35:26.000 And even I think about that when I do shows sometimes.

01:35:28.000 Like, I limit myself to one or two. 0.99

01:35:30.000 Because if I feel like I start liking it and I start smoking all the time, fuck that. 1.00

01:35:34.000 That's terrible for you. 1.00

01:35:35.000 It's terrible for you to just do, you know, supposedly those American spirits are better because it's just tobacco, but all of it is like burning leaves in your lungs.

01:35:43.000 Yeah.

01:35:44.000 And it doesn't seem to, like, marijuana does not seem to have the same health problems with people's lungs.

01:35:51.000 No.

01:35:51.000 Unless you're probably a chronic marijuana smoker, because you've got to think, how much of the paper are you smoking?

01:35:58.000 Because you're not just smoking the leaf.

01:36:01.000 Especially if you're rolling blunts.

01:36:03.000 I know a lot of guys who love blunts, and they're smoking blunts all day long.

01:36:08.000 So you're taking in a lot of tobacco.

01:36:11.000 That's a lot of tobacco on top of the weed.

01:36:14.000 You ever do the pens?

01:36:15.000 The weed pens?

01:36:16.000 I mean, that can't be good for you, right?

01:36:18.000 That is just chemical, isn't it?

01:36:20.000 Well, it's definitely chemicals, right?

01:36:22.000 It depends on how they manufacture them, but it's different kinds of oils.

01:36:26.000 I know some of them do it with MCT oil, which is food grade oil.

01:36:30.000 But I don't know if there's like strict standards on that stuff.

01:36:35.000 And where are you getting them made?

01:36:36.000 Are you getting them made here? 0.99

01:36:37.000 Are you shipping those bitches to China? 1.00

01:36:40.000 Who's making these things? 0.99

01:36:41.000 Yeah, there's seven dollars that can't be made here.

01:36:43.000 They're too accessible.

01:36:45.000 They probably can't import the actual cannabis.

01:36:50.000 So I bet they actually do make it here, now that I think about it.

01:36:53.000 That makes sense, that they probably do make it here.

01:36:56.000 They probably would have to make it here.

01:36:58.000 But do they make the pens here, like the ones that explode and go through people's brains?

01:37:02.000 Is that a real thing?

01:37:03.000 I thought that was a myth.

01:37:04.000 I thought that happened one time and all of them do it.

01:37:06.000 There was this one where this guy had this thing lodged in his head in the x-ray.

01:37:10.000 I'm like, is that real?

01:37:11.000 I want to believe it's real.

01:37:12.000 Because the vape exploded?

01:37:14.000 Yeah.

01:37:16.000 Like a rocket.

01:37:17.000 But that doesn't even make sense.

01:37:20.000 What mechanism would it make it?

01:37:22.000 It seems like it would just blow out.

01:37:23.000 It doesn't seem like it would propel forward with the kind of thrust that would be required to enter your brain.

01:37:29.000 It's not a musket.

01:37:30.000 Right.

01:37:31.000 It's not a canon.

01:37:33.000 Bring us back to the canon days.

01:37:36.000 Just think about that, man.

01:37:38.000 Wooden boats.

01:37:39.000 Shooting iron balls at each other.

01:37:41.000 I mean, take it back more centuries, when you had to be a knight.

01:37:45.000 Vaping can seriously damage your health.

01:37:47.000 E-cigarette exploded in a teenager's mouth, breaking his jaw and blowing out teeth.

01:37:52.000 Because of his botched do-it-yourself hacks.

01:37:54.000 Oh god, this kid.

01:37:55.000 He was in Russia.

01:37:56.000 Of course it was in Russia! 0.53

01:37:58.000 These wild people.

01:37:59.000 This makes sense.

01:37:59.000 Did you see the picture before I scrolled up?

01:38:01.000 He was nine years old.

01:38:02.000 It's gnarly.

01:38:03.000 Oh, let me see.

01:38:04.000 Do you want to see it?

01:38:05.000 Oh! 0.60

01:38:05.000 Jesus! 0.60

01:38:06.000 Oh my god.

01:38:06.000 Oh, it blew his face apart.

01:38:08.000 Oh god damn it. 0.99

01:38:10.000 Oh. 0.99

01:38:11.000 Oh.

01:38:12.000 Oh.

01:38:14.000 Oh my god.

01:38:16.000 Oh my god.

01:38:18.000 I wasn't sure if that's the same one you saw, but that sounded close.

01:38:23.000 Blew his face apart.

01:38:25.000 Isn't the e-cigarette company, I believe it said, oftentimes the problem isn't the pen, it's the people who use it. 0.99

01:38:31.000 Man, the most gaslighting shit I've ever read. 0.99

01:38:35.000 The guy was probably the one who caused the accident. 1.00

01:38:37.000 Yeah!

01:38:38.000 He made it explode.

01:38:39.000 We had Peter Berg on the other day, and he was talking about the opioid crisis because he created that series Painkiller on Netflix. 0.98

01:38:47.000 If you haven't seen it, it's fucking incredible.

01:38:49.000 But it's about the Sackler family and how they created this. 0.98

01:38:51.000 And one of the things that they did was when people got hooked on OxyContin, they had like a policy of hammering the abuser.

01:38:59.000 Go after them.

01:39:00.000 They're drug addicts. 1.00

01:39:01.000 Like, shame them. 1.00

01:39:03.000 So that's what they would do. 0.53

01:39:04.000 They're like, oh, he was a drug addict.

01:39:06.000 This person was a drug, and it has nothing to do with whether or not our drug is addictive.

01:39:11.000 Our addictive drug. 0.99

01:39:11.000 He's a drug addict. 0.99

01:39:12.000 And so that's what they did. 0.80

01:39:13.000 That was their gaslighting.

01:39:15.000 But you can't be a drug addict without the drugs.

01:39:17.000 I know, but the drugs are the problem.

01:39:19.000 If you can make someone think that someone else is a drug addict, that's a shameful thing. 0.87

01:39:24.000 Oh, he's a drug addict. 0.86

01:39:26.000 It's shameful. 0.99

01:39:28.000 And so they shame the abusers. 1.00

01:39:31.000 That's fucked up. 1.00

01:39:32.000 Yeah, it's typical corporate gaslighting. 0.99

01:39:34.000 They like to do stuff like that.

01:39:36.000 It's fun.

01:39:37.000 Change the narrative. 0.95

01:39:38.000 Get that Russian troll farm involved. 1.00

01:39:40.000 Start going after those drug addicts. 1.00

01:39:43.000 Those damn drug addicts are the problem. 1.00

01:39:45.000 It's not the pills. 1.00

01:39:45.000 I take mine on a regular basis. 1.00

01:39:47.000 I have had zero problems and in fact I had to go off before surgery and I had no problem whatsoever.

01:39:55.000 I did it the way the doctor told me to.

01:39:59.000 The FDA is smarter than you.

01:40:02.000 I hope you know.

01:40:03.000 I can see this written on Twitter already.

01:40:05.000 Yeah.

01:40:06.000 I have another social media theory to go along with these troll farms.

01:40:10.000 Okay.

01:40:10.000 So you know how there's like a new TikTok dance every week?

01:40:13.000 I've heard about these things.

01:40:15.000 Same. 0.98

01:40:16.000 As much as I post on TikTok, I don't fucking watch anything. 0.94

01:40:19.000 It's something I'm most proud of. 0.89

01:40:20.000 Good for you.

01:40:21.000 But anyways, there's always something trending.

01:40:23.000 Every single week there's some new dance that every girl from 11 years old to 40 year old is doing, right?

01:40:31.000 But to my recollection, at least up until 2015, if somebody came up with a dance, the Dougie, the Cat Daddy, that person was famous for making that dance a thing, right?

01:40:42.000 Everybody knew who that was.

01:40:44.000 There's never an originator of these dances.

01:40:47.000 And I have a theory that TikTok does AI. Dances of trends that they push out to people's streams and go, and then everybody goes, oh, this is the trend.

01:40:56.000 I have to do that now.

01:40:57.000 Because there's never a person taking credit for it. 0.99

01:41:00.000 I was the first person to fucking do whatever this shit is. 0.99

01:41:03.000 That never happens. 0.99

01:41:05.000 I think it's AI infiltrated trends.

01:41:08.000 I don't believe they're really created by people.

01:41:09.000 Well, TikTok is a genius company.

01:41:11.000 If you want to look at it from a perspective of how effective it is.

01:41:15.000 And it's interesting because, you know, I had Adam Curry on.

01:41:19.000 Do you know who Adam Curry is?

01:41:20.000 No.

01:41:21.000 He's the original podcaster.

01:41:23.000 Okay.

01:41:23.000 He's the podcaster number one.

01:41:24.000 And he has a different theory than a lot of...

01:41:26.000 Most people that I talk to say TikTok is dangerous.

01:41:29.000 It's like tracking all your information and everything you do online.

01:41:34.000 But his theory is they're all doing that.

01:41:36.000 And what they don't like is that this Chinese company is eating their lunch. 1.00

01:41:40.000 This Chinese company has figured out a way to have the most addictive out of all of these social media sites.

01:41:45.000 TikTok's the most addictive. 0.98

01:41:47.000 And he's saying, like, look, if you don't think that they're all tracking your shit on a regular basis, they're definitely doing that. 0.98

01:41:55.000 And they're probably using your microphone. 0.97

01:41:57.000 There's a weird coincidence that pops up all the time where you're talking about something and then you see ads for it.

01:42:03.000 Like, that's weird.

01:42:04.000 Did you watch Social Dilemma?

01:42:05.000 Yes, I did. 0.77

01:42:06.000 Crazy.

01:42:07.000 I had the guy who did it, Tristan Harris, come in and talk about it. 1.00

01:42:13.000 It's a fucking... 0.99

01:42:14.000 It's terrifying. 1.00

01:42:14.000 It's a terrifying thing and it's... 1.00

01:42:16.000 We're interacting with something that we're not designed for.

01:42:20.000 Yeah.

01:42:21.000 Like we evolved to experience natural things, animals, wildlife, beautiful scenery.

01:42:26.000 That's why we react to those things.

01:42:27.000 That's like part of what we are.

01:42:29.000 And now all of a sudden we're locked into this thing that we don't have Any like reference of history for there's no like well back in the 1800s when high-speed internet first was available There was a lot of confusion a lot of propaganda got pushed by various nations until mind reading became available You know and then it made lying impossible like that's literally what we probably need to get out of this mess We need mind reading We need mind reading.

01:42:57.000 We need to make lying impossible.

01:42:59.000 And we got to get to it before they have complete and total control of your money.

01:43:06.000 We got to do it before people agree to a centralized digital currency that's attached to a social credit score system.

01:43:13.000 If we can get to Mind reading before that, then people will uprise and then they'll realize like, okay, this is outrageous.

01:43:22.000 Like this is not how the world's supposed to be run.

01:43:24.000 And if it's ubiquitous, like if the whole world has mind reading software, it makes all the other stuff very difficult.

01:43:32.000 I mean, you could somehow or another force compliance, but it's going to be very difficult to do that with all the soldiers in sync now.

01:43:39.000 It's going to be very difficult to lead armies where people are going to know what your actual intentions are.

01:43:45.000 They're going to know that this is motivated by money and that this report that you've brought in front of Congress about the movement of these terrorists and the dangers of their weapons of mass destruction, we're going to know it's not true.

01:43:59.000 So it's going to end wars.

01:44:01.000 Do you have...

01:44:04.000 Do you have any idea how mean it is to bring guests on the show, get them so high, and then talk about the worst possible realistic outcomes of this world?

01:44:12.000 I don't know if it's the worst possible, man. 0.97

01:44:14.000 I have to go build a fucking bunker after this and get all my cash and gold immediately. 0.99

01:44:18.000 No, you're gonna be fine. 1.00

01:44:20.000 You're gonna be fine.

01:44:22.000 It's just, this is a different life.

01:44:24.000 And we have to adapt on the fly.

01:44:27.000 We live in a different life.

01:44:29.000 This is a different life than any human being that we are aware of has ever lived in.

01:44:35.000 When would you have liked to have lived?

01:44:37.000 I like this time right now.

01:44:38.000 Really?

01:44:39.000 Yeah, this is what I'm accustomed to.

01:44:41.000 I enjoy it.

01:44:42.000 How old are you?

01:44:43.000 56. What year were you born?

01:44:45.000 1967. I would have liked to have been born in like 62. Really?

01:44:52.000 Grow up through the 70s, enjoy the 80s as a young adult, 90s become a real adult, start a family, and then learn all this stuff later.

01:44:59.000 I don't like being a part of this generation at all.

01:45:02.000 Well, that's kind of what I did.

01:45:03.000 I mean, I became an adult human before the internet.

01:45:08.000 And then the internet came around, and I first got on it when I was 27. That was the first time.

01:45:12.000 I went to CompUSA, and I bought a little Apple computer, and it was hooked up to a 14.4 modem, and you had to dial up to get online.

01:45:21.000 It was like...

01:45:22.000 Oh, I remember.

01:45:23.000 I'm so lucky to have got to witness that.

01:45:25.000 It was so slow.

01:45:27.000 It was CompUSA.

01:45:29.000 You'd go on to these...

01:45:31.000 What was the one website that everybody used that went away?

01:45:35.000 AOL. America Online.

01:45:36.000 America Online.

01:45:37.000 You've got mail!

01:45:39.000 And you'd get an email.

01:45:40.000 You're so excited.

01:45:41.000 Like, oh my god, someone wrote me.

01:45:42.000 And you'd, like, write your friends.

01:45:44.000 Like, this is crazy!

01:45:45.000 I'm writing letters to my friends!

01:45:46.000 I read something about you and the internet, and I'm curious if it's true.

01:45:49.000 Is it true you used to spend, like, tens of thousands of dollars on high-speed internet to play a video game better?

01:45:54.000 I spent a lot of money having a T1 line installed in my house. 1.00

01:45:58.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00

01:45:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:59.000 To play what? 1.00

01:46:00.000 To play Quake.

01:46:01.000 What is Quake?

01:46:02.000 Quake is an amazing 3D online deathmatch game where you're running around with like rocket launchers and rail guns and you're running through these mazes and you're fighting other people that are on your screen in like real time.

01:46:21.000 You've never heard of Quake?

01:46:22.000 It's a 3D shooter.

01:46:24.000 Show them some Quake 3 Arena.

01:46:26.000 You're the scariest nerd I've ever met.

01:46:29.000 I've been meaning to not tell you a story. 0.93

01:46:30.000 They just remastered Quake 2. So it's like, it just came out like a week ago.

01:46:35.000 Oh my god.

01:46:35.000 And it's like HD 4K. I've never seen this.

01:46:38.000 Look how good it looks!

01:46:41.000 Oh my god, it looks so good!

01:46:44.000 So this was the game I really started with, was Quake 2. There's new levels too.

01:46:52.000 They made new stuff for it.

01:46:53.000 But the thing about this game is not really the levels.

01:46:58.000 The thing about this game is Deathmatch.

01:47:00.000 Right.

01:47:01.000 What was Deathmatch?

01:47:02.000 Deathmatch is one-on-one or team versus team.

01:47:05.000 Like, you're on a team with four...

01:47:07.000 What you could do is you would jump on a server online and you would look to join a team.

01:47:14.000 Like, say, if you're playing Rocket Arena, you could find a server and you could just join a team.

01:47:18.000 And then once the teams were filled, the game would start.

01:47:21.000 Game begins!

01:47:22.000 Three, two, one.

01:47:23.000 And then your side is one color and the other side is green. 0.98

01:47:27.000 And you're running through this fucking maze looking for the enemy and trying to acquire weapons and all these different things. 0.98

01:47:36.000 But this is the game. 0.99

01:47:38.000 This is Quake 3 Arena.

01:47:39.000 And so it's these wild graphics.

01:47:42.000 This looks fun. 0.99

01:47:42.000 It's fun as fuck, dude. 0.99

01:47:43.000 It's very early 2000s. 0.96

01:47:45.000 I love the graphics.

01:47:45.000 Give me some volume so you can hear it.

01:47:47.000 So you hear things, too.

01:47:48.000 You hear your footsteps, and you're running through here, and then you find the people, and you're duking it out.

01:47:55.000 And when you hit them, it makes up the...

01:47:57.000 Oh, I love that. 1.00

01:47:58.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:47:59.000 So now he's got to get the health. 1.00

01:48:00.000 Give me some health.

01:48:01.000 Give me some armor.

01:48:02.000 I can see getting addicted to this. 1.00

01:48:04.000 Oh, fuck yeah, you can. 1.00

01:48:05.000 I'm getting it right now. 1.00

01:48:07.000 It's so fun.

01:48:08.000 And this dude's good. 0.96

01:48:09.000 So this dude who's playing here, he knows what the fuck he's doing. 0.97

01:48:15.000 Now he's got a rocket launcher. 1.00

01:48:16.000 Oh shit. 1.00

01:48:17.000 Now motherfuckers are about to die. 1.00

01:48:21.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:48:25.000 Now he's got to get some armor.

01:48:27.000 And your internet speed would depict how quick your movements were and everything, how crisp you could play the game?

01:48:32.000 Yes.

01:48:35.000 The lag is the big one, like how close you are to the server.

01:48:39.000 That's a very important thing.

01:48:41.000 And how good your internet connection is.

01:48:43.000 Look at how good this guy is. 1.00

01:48:44.000 This guy's a killer. 0.92

01:48:46.000 So these kids who play this game, and maybe even adults, they get so damn addicted that they learn all the maps inside and out. 0.99

01:48:54.000 So they know all the moves on the maps, like there's certain places where you can hop from one ledge to another ledge, and you can camp and stand there, and they come through the doorway, you blast them.

01:49:03.000 There's all sorts of weird, sneaky little tricks in these games.

01:49:06.000 Oh, that is so cool.

01:49:07.000 People get really good at it.

01:49:09.000 I was curious if that was true.

01:49:10.000 It's so addictive.

01:49:11.000 It was so addictive.

01:49:12.000 I had a quick cold turkey.

01:49:14.000 And then we built a LAN room at our old studio in LA, and I had a quick cold turkey again.

01:49:20.000 Same game?

01:49:20.000 It got too crazy, yeah.

01:49:21.000 Quake, the new version of it.

01:49:23.000 What is the new one?

01:49:24.000 The online call?

01:49:25.000 Quake Champions?

01:49:26.000 Quake Champions is the one they're playing.

01:49:26.000 Oh, wow.

01:49:28.000 And this guy Rafa, he's been the man in this game for a few years.

01:49:32.000 Forever.

01:49:32.000 So these guys are like, Todd, give me some volume.

01:49:43.000 Look at that commentary!

01:49:44.000 It's a sport!

01:49:46.000 Amazing.

01:49:48.000 I will say I don't get it.

01:49:51.000 I don't get watching other people play video games.

01:49:54.000 Well, because you play it.

01:49:55.000 So if you play the game, you know the game, and you know how hard it is, and you know what he's doing is so impressive.

01:50:03.000 Is it?

01:50:04.000 Lower their volume.

01:50:06.000 It's like golf or other sports.

01:50:07.000 Yes.

01:50:08.000 If you don't get the sport, you won't watch that.

01:50:10.000 For me, because I play it, this is very intriguing.

01:50:13.000 It just feels like video games are something that if you play it enough, anybody can get good at it.

01:50:19.000 Yeah, but it's a lot of, like, fast thinking, hand-eye coordination.

01:50:24.000 Yeah, that's very true.

01:50:25.000 You have to practice your aim.

01:50:26.000 There's a lot going on.

01:50:27.000 There's different weapons behave in different ways.

01:50:29.000 They're studying the maps and strategy.

01:50:32.000 I mean, it's just... 0.99

01:50:33.000 Look how he's fucking that dude up. 0.99

01:50:34.000 Woo! 0.99

01:50:35.000 I can't imagine sitting down and watching this when, like, there's Pornhub.

01:50:38.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:50:40.000 Once you jerk off, then you go right back to it. 0.99

01:50:43.000 You know what? 0.99

01:50:43.000 Yeah, you know what? 0.99

01:50:44.000 Two things can be true.

01:50:45.000 You're right.

01:50:45.000 Look how this guy's doing this.

01:50:46.000 This is genius, man.

01:50:49.000 He's really good.

01:50:49.000 It's so fast-paced.

01:50:51.000 Is this video sped up?

01:50:52.000 Or is this how quickly he plays the game?

01:50:54.000 No, this is how quick the game is.

01:50:55.000 That's very impressive.

01:50:55.000 That's one of the things that's exciting about it.

01:50:57.000 Because it requires you to really think quickly and move quickly.

01:51:00.000 And you're changing weapons.

01:51:01.000 And the guy who's playing can't kill him either.

01:51:03.000 He's up 8-0 right now. 1.00

01:51:04.000 Yeah, he's fucking messed up. 0.98

01:51:05.000 And that's frustrating for the other guy. 0.99

01:51:07.000 And the guy, every time he spawns, he's got no energy.

01:51:11.000 Or rather, no weapons. 0.99

01:51:13.000 He's just got a bullshit standard gun that you're not gonna kill this guy with. 1.00

01:51:17.000 So the longer you live, you get more powerful. 1.00

01:51:19.000 Well, the longer you traverse the map and accumulate all the different armor and shit. 0.96

01:51:27.000 So this guy, every time he fucks that dude up, he gets some of his armor, he's getting the super health. 0.93

01:51:33.000 So all these things, look at that. 1.00

01:51:35.000 Oh, he's fucking that dude. 1.00

01:51:36.000 Oh, he got killed. 1.00

01:51:38.000 Huh.

01:51:39.000 Yeah.

01:51:40.000 That guy's really good.

01:51:41.000 He's really good.

01:51:41.000 But that's what it is.

01:51:43.000 It's like, you get so, and it's so exciting.

01:51:45.000 It's so much more exciting than literally anything else that's a game.

01:51:49.000 More than Halo?

01:51:50.000 People love Halo.

01:51:51.000 I've never played Halo.

01:51:51.000 I don't play Halo.

01:51:52.000 But it's kind of the same sort of thing.

01:51:54.000 It's a first person shooter, right?

01:51:56.000 And you're running around.

01:51:57.000 Isn't Halo first person or is it third person?

01:51:58.000 Yeah.

01:51:59.000 So those things are just super, super addictive.

01:52:02.000 I think the chat rooms would be addictive. 1.00

01:52:05.000 People say the meanest, craziest shit. 1.00

01:52:07.000 Oh, they go crazy. 1.00

01:52:08.000 Dude, it's insane!

01:52:09.000 They go crazy on those online games.

01:52:11.000 They actually just made an announcement about that that's going to change.

01:52:13.000 You get something like eight strikes, which I don't know exactly how they're going to count those, but they have AI listening now, so all those game chats are being recorded over the main store. 0.99

01:52:21.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:52:22.000 And if you start talking shit, they're going to start striking you down, and you're going to have to take a break for a year or something. 1.00

01:52:27.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:52:28.000 Good. 1.00

01:52:28.000 Well, they're just going to sign back on through a fucking VPN. Your new email address, whatever it is. 1.00

01:52:34.000 But still.

01:52:34.000 Wear a fake nose.

01:52:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:52:36.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00

01:52:37.000 Change the pronouns. 1.00

01:52:38.000 You're not going to stop these junkies.

01:52:40.000 These people are straight up junkies.

01:52:41.000 No, it's bad. 0.73

01:52:41.000 It's still bad. 0.73

01:52:42.000 It has never changed yet. 0.99

01:52:43.000 Trash talking kings. 0.99

01:52:44.000 As racist as it can be. 1.00

01:52:45.000 Mm-hmm.

01:52:46.000 All of it.

01:52:47.000 This is so funny.

01:52:48.000 People aren't good.

01:52:49.000 It's so funny.

01:52:51.000 Well, they definitely like to be naughty.

01:52:54.000 Oh, the things people will say when people can't see who's saying it.

01:52:57.000 Yeah, people like to be naughty.

01:52:59.000 It's impressive, dude. 0.97

01:53:00.000 Well, it's also, it's like, you feel like you're protected, you're in Sweden, or you're in fucking Montana, you're on the internet, it's a fake name, you know, you're Superkiller69, whatever, and you're out there fucking people up, 0.88

01:53:17.000 and... 0.97

01:53:18.000 I wanted to do, like, a modern troll version of Bully Beatdown.

01:53:21.000 Remember that show?

01:53:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:53:22.000 Where, like, you use the same technology and sources they use for, like, catfish.

01:53:27.000 You know how they do all this research to really find the person? 1.00

01:53:29.000 So say you're talking shit to fucking... 1.00

01:53:32.000 Sugar Sean, right? 1.00

01:53:33.000 You're like this constant troll. 1.00

01:53:34.000 You're always talking about what a trash fighter he is. 1.00

01:53:36.000 We team up with Sean. 0.99

01:53:37.000 We do the research.

01:53:38.000 We find out what this dude really is.

01:53:40.000 And we go, you said you could beat him up.

01:53:42.000 Or a 15-year-old girl could beat him up. 1.00

01:53:44.000 It's like a dozen times.

01:53:45.000 So we're going to offer you an amount of money to put your money where your mouth is. 1.00

01:53:47.000 But he also gets the chance to whoop your ass. 0.99

01:53:50.000 Yeah, the guy's gonna go, um, I didn't really mean that. 1.00

01:53:53.000 Of course, but then he looks like a bitch in front of everybody. 1.00

01:53:56.000 But he's gonna have to sign the waiver. 1.00

01:53:58.000 That's where it's, you gotta give him enough money.

01:54:00.000 The money has to be worth it, yeah. 0.98

01:54:02.000 But the thing is, they're not gonna fucking win. 0.95

01:54:04.000 You know, I always wondered that about cops. 0.98

01:54:08.000 Do they have to sign waivers, right, on the show Cops?

01:54:12.000 Yeah, so Cops does, but I told you that show that's been going on, it was called Life P, it's called Something Else Now.

01:54:17.000 They have a weird workaround, because it's live on TV, streaming for three hours a night, and it's like, they always say, they're following me, don't worry about them, the cops are doing a documentary about us, not you.

01:54:28.000 And I guess that's the loophole, just sort of like the prank calls in Vegas kind of thing.

01:54:33.000 Huh.

01:54:34.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:54:36.000 Man, can you imagine just being that fucked up? 0.99

01:54:38.000 You're like, yeah, I still want to see the tape back when I get out of jail. 1.00

01:54:41.000 Well, you're on meth, and your fucking pants are down by your ankles, and you're on TV, there's a light in your face, and you just piss all over your pants, and you're like, huh? 0.99

01:54:51.000 Why were you driving that car? 1.00

01:54:52.000 I don't know.

01:54:54.000 You're on meth.

01:54:55.000 You're like, I'm just trying to get home. 1.00

01:54:58.000 Shit. 1.00

01:54:59.000 I'm not built for jail, dude. 1.00

01:55:00.000 I hope I never go.

01:55:01.000 Why am I awake?

01:55:05.000 And then they offer you like 500 bucks.

01:55:08.000 Oh, okay.

01:55:09.000 Perfect.

01:55:09.000 And you just sign away, and next thing you know, Travis, was you on TV pissing your pants?

01:55:15.000 Were you doing meth and codeine again? 0.99

01:55:19.000 I don't fucking know. 0.99

01:55:22.000 Why am I on TV? Those poor people, man. 0.99

01:55:28.000 But they've got the highlight tape forever, you know?

01:55:30.000 It's such exploitation.

01:55:31.000 Do you remember when Steven Seagal had a show like that?

01:55:33.000 I remember hearing about it.

01:55:35.000 I never saw it.

01:55:36.000 Bro.

01:55:36.000 Was he like his own dog, the bounty hunter?

01:55:38.000 Tom Segura had a whole bit about it.

01:55:40.000 Tom Segura became obsessed with Steven Seagal at one point in time.

01:55:43.000 It's in his first special, right?

01:55:45.000 Or the second one?

01:55:45.000 Well, I forget which one.

01:55:47.000 But Steven Seagal, he was like a cop.

01:55:52.000 Like an actual cop.

01:55:53.000 Like he went through the Academy and everything?

01:55:54.000 I don't know.

01:55:55.000 The law man.

01:55:56.000 The lawman.

01:55:57.000 So, I don't know, maybe they deputized him? 0.99

01:55:59.000 I don't know how that fucking worked. 0.97

01:56:01.000 But Steven Seagal was hanging out with these cops in Louisiana in Jefferson Parish, and he started taking on a Louisiana accent? 0.99

01:56:09.000 No, he did not!

01:56:10.000 Yes, he did!

01:56:11.000 Yes, he did!

01:56:12.000 It was amazing!

01:56:13.000 See if you can find video of him talking. 1.00

01:56:16.000 He's a fucking character, that guy. 0.99

01:56:20.000 So, imagine, you're a kid, and you know, maybe he's selling crack or whatever, and you get pulled over by fucking Steven Seagal? 1.00

01:56:30.000 You've got to think it's punk or something. 0.97

01:56:31.000 And he's actually got a real gun?

01:56:33.000 And he might shoot you and there's cameras there?

01:56:35.000 You're like, what is going on?

01:56:36.000 Am I in a movie?

01:56:37.000 Like, you would think you're in a movie.

01:56:39.000 I would do that.

01:56:39.000 I would do something like this.

01:56:40.000 Imagine that, like, you're a kid and you grow up in a bad neighborhood.

01:56:44.000 You're 17. This is the first time you ever met anybody famous.

01:56:47.000 Uh-huh.

01:56:47.000 You're getting arrested by him?

01:56:49.000 It's Steven Seagal! 1.00

01:56:50.000 It's the fucking guy from Above the Law? 1.00

01:56:53.000 Everybody's seen Above the Law. 1.00

01:56:56.000 Yeah, how can you possibly take this serious?

01:56:58.000 Also, if they start roughing you up, you're gonna be kind of pissed off that Steven Seagal is just allowed to touch you like this.

01:57:08.000 They're going to tase him.

01:57:09.000 Everybody off, so they're tasing the guy.

01:57:15.000 So what does this guy have?

01:57:22.000 Crack?

01:57:23.000 What is it?

01:57:23.000 A mask.

01:57:24.000 Carjacking.

01:57:25.000 Oh, carjacking. 1.00

01:57:29.000 Damn. 1.00

01:57:33.000 They have a beautiful way of talking. 1.00

01:57:36.000 Yeah.

01:57:36.000 People from Louisiana...

01:57:39.000 I would probably start talking like that if I moved there.

01:57:41.000 I would adopt it.

01:57:43.000 My opener is from Louisiana.

01:57:44.000 It's a beautiful way of talking.

01:57:46.000 There's a flow to it.

01:57:49.000 It's wholesome.

01:57:50.000 It sounds good.

01:57:52.000 There's a cool flow to it.

01:57:54.000 It makes you feel safe.

01:57:55.000 I don't feel in danger when somebody from Louisiana talks to me.

01:57:58.000 Oh, I'd feel in danger if I was tied up and they were talking to me like that.

01:58:01.000 Well, yeah.

01:58:03.000 Matt, Rob, you've made a terrible, terrible error. 1.00

01:58:07.000 Am I going to be murdered or raped? 0.99

01:58:09.000 All of the above. 1.00

01:58:10.000 Wow.

01:58:12.000 Depending on how they're feeling, which one starts first.

01:58:17.000 Again, not built for prison.

01:58:19.000 You ever watch that show like 60 Days In?

01:58:22.000 60 days in prison?

01:58:23.000 No.

01:58:23.000 Is it 60 days in?

01:58:25.000 Something like that.

01:58:25.000 It might be 30. I think it's 60. Where it's like they send regular people into jail.

01:58:32.000 Usually like a county jail or something like that.

01:58:34.000 Or a state jail, I guess, if that's a thing.

01:58:36.000 Oh my god.

01:58:36.000 They send them in as actors to try to infiltrate who's bringing the drugs in, who the kingpins in here.

01:58:45.000 And look, some of them rise in the ranks.

01:58:49.000 Within like a week.

01:58:51.000 It's impressive.

01:58:54.000 But also so insulting and so dangerous. 0.99

01:58:57.000 Super fucking dangerous. 0.98

01:58:58.000 And sometimes they get compromised. 0.99

01:59:00.000 No, sometimes they get compromised.

01:59:01.000 Once the prisoners figure out, they'll be like...

01:59:03.000 Because some of the prisoners have heard about the show.

01:59:05.000 So sometimes they'll be interviewing the prisoners.

01:59:06.000 The prisoners will be like, I think he's from that show.

01:59:09.000 One of them is a cop.

01:59:11.000 He's watching behaviors of other officers.

01:59:13.000 This guy volunteered to join his father in the program.

01:59:17.000 Wow.

01:59:18.000 Substitute teacher, electrician.

01:59:20.000 The cop is an interesting one.

01:59:22.000 He entered the program to observe the behaviors of the corrections officers.

01:59:25.000 Maybe he heard there's some abuse going on.

01:59:28.000 Yeah, people can just volunteer.

01:59:30.000 Wow.

01:59:31.000 See what it was like.

01:59:32.000 This guy's a martial arts trainer.

01:59:33.000 Brought his son with him to show what it was like in prison.

01:59:38.000 Yeah.

01:59:38.000 This guy has family members in there as a lady.

01:59:41.000 She wanted to see what it was like for them.

01:59:43.000 Whoa.

01:59:44.000 Yeah.

01:59:45.000 That's crazy.

01:59:46.000 Former gang member?

01:59:47.000 Wow.

01:59:47.000 It's impressive.

01:59:47.000 They go in there and they really live with these people and they get information.

01:59:52.000 Some dudes rise to ranks of being like the head of the cell block and at the end of the 60 days get to go, ah!

01:59:58.000 Ah, gotcha.

01:59:59.000 Are these like, oh my god, that's so crazy.

02:00:01.000 Are these like minimum security?

02:00:05.000 Probably.

02:00:06.000 It's not prison.

02:00:08.000 It's jail still.

02:00:10.000 Which, I mean, is still dangerous. 0.99

02:00:13.000 I mean, you see a fight on every fucking episode. 0.99

02:00:15.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:00:16.000 The geniuses that are in jail.

02:00:19.000 This first guy, season six, he's a super fan.

02:00:22.000 I remember that guy.

02:00:23.000 And wanted to see if he could just try it out.

02:00:26.000 Oh my god.

02:00:27.000 Spoiler alert on that one.

02:00:29.000 Uh oh.

02:00:30.000 Yeah, does it not work out?

02:00:31.000 Pretty early.

02:00:32.000 I can only imagine.

02:00:34.000 Yeah.

02:00:35.000 Yeah.

02:00:35.000 The average person wouldn't do well in there.

02:00:37.000 No, there's people who the first day when they're getting checked in and they're just like in that cold cell with everybody else while they're getting all their paperwork and shit done.

02:00:43.000 Because they book you like an actual image.

02:00:45.000 You do the entire process.

02:00:47.000 Wow.

02:00:48.000 And some people break in there.

02:00:49.000 They just get the pressure.

02:00:50.000 They be like, you know.

02:00:51.000 They tell themselves things, but I feel like somebody's looking at me like they're onto me, they already know I'm a fake. 0.99

02:00:55.000 If these prisoners find out you're a fake, they're gonna murder you. 0.99

02:00:58.000 Because you know all their secrets. 1.00

02:01:00.000 Especially when you're sleeping.

02:01:01.000 Oh yeah!

02:01:03.000 That's where your way of sleeping would really come in handy. 1.00

02:01:06.000 I might run shit, prison dog. 1.00

02:01:09.000 You'd have all that time to think. 1.00

02:01:11.000 I gotta figure out who's gonna be my boyfriend, but I'm up all night.

02:01:14.000 You figure it out.

02:01:15.000 Might as well cash in.

02:01:16.000 You figure it out, man.

02:01:17.000 You start a cult in prison.

02:01:19.000 Has anybody not done that yet?

02:01:21.000 I bet they have.

02:01:21.000 Had to have.

02:01:22.000 Had to have.

02:01:23.000 Had to have.

02:01:23.000 That's also one of the scariest places to investigate a prison, dude.

02:01:26.000 Well, there's a lot of con men that go to jail.

02:01:28.000 And if you're a con man, like a Manson, like you let that guy in a general population, he'll start a cult.

02:01:33.000 Oh my god, yeah!

02:01:34.000 He's so confident in himself.

02:01:36.000 Did you watch the show Blackbird yet on Apple TV? No, what is that?

02:01:38.000 Very good.

02:01:38.000 It's based on a true story.

02:01:40.000 It's a dude almost like you're describing. 0.99

02:01:42.000 He's a badass hustler, can run shit really fast. 0.96

02:01:46.000 They find out about it, like, hey, we'll give you a chance to get out of here. 0.99

02:01:49.000 He's in for like 10 years plus, 15 years maybe for drugs and stuff.

02:01:52.000 He has to go get a serial killer to confess where the bodies are hidden, and they can't get anybody to break this guy.

02:01:57.000 And it's just about that.

02:01:58.000 Like, that's what the episodes are about. 1.00

02:01:59.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

02:02:00.000 Who's in that? 1.00

02:02:00.000 It's really good. 1.00

02:02:02.000 Taron Egerton?

02:02:04.000 Egerton.

02:02:04.000 Oh, he's really good.

02:02:05.000 And then the guy who played, like, Richard Jewell in the Richard Jewell movie, and he's the Olympic Park bomber, too.

02:02:13.000 That guy's great.

02:02:14.000 Who is that guy?

02:02:16.000 Find it.

02:02:17.000 Give that guy his propers. 0.53

02:02:18.000 He's really good in it, too.

02:02:20.000 Some people are just really good talkers.

02:02:23.000 Yeah.

02:02:24.000 They can talk their self in or out of anything.

02:02:27.000 Scary, isn't it?

02:02:28.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:30.000 Into anything around any group of people and can tell a checkable lie.

02:02:34.000 Yeah.

02:02:34.000 And just can commit so hard to it.

02:02:36.000 Yeah.

02:02:37.000 His name is Paul Walter Hauser is the actor's name.

02:02:39.000 Paul Walter Hauser.

02:02:41.000 What's it called again?

02:02:42.000 Blackbird?

02:02:42.000 The show's called Blackbird.

02:02:43.000 Well, when I get to watch a TV show again.

02:02:46.000 Oh, you said you don't watch TV. Sorry.

02:02:49.000 There's the, yeah, this is him getting arrested.

02:02:51.000 He gets the Jamie Cyril of approval.

02:02:53.000 Yeah, and then this guy, he's just like a crazy, I forget exactly the, I don't know if it's like children or whatever, but they think he's got bodies buried somewhere.

02:03:01.000 This guy, it's really good.

02:03:03.000 And this guy has to get close to him.

02:03:04.000 Yeah.

02:03:05.000 Wow.

02:03:07.000 They approach him about it. 1.00

02:03:09.000 That's the scary shit, right? 1.00

02:03:10.000 Like that guy in Long Island. 1.00

02:03:12.000 Wife had no idea. 1.00

02:03:13.000 He's out there killing prostitutes for several decades. 0.99

02:03:16.000 Oh, dude. 0.78

02:03:16.000 Serial killer stuff is so fascinating to me. 0.78

02:03:19.000 So fascinating.

02:03:20.000 And how you can just live your life normally.

02:03:22.000 And they get away with it.

02:03:24.000 Some of them, like the Zodiac Killer, they never caught that guy.

02:03:26.000 They got away with it.

02:03:28.000 Man.

02:03:29.000 I thought they caught him.

02:03:30.000 He's still out there?

02:03:31.000 I believe.

02:03:31.000 They never found him?

02:03:32.000 I believe they never caught the Zodiac Killer.

02:03:34.000 I'm pretty sure.

02:03:36.000 I'm fascinated by John Wayne Gacy's stuff.

02:03:38.000 It's fascinating.

02:03:40.000 Because it's such an insane level of psychosis. 0.99

02:03:44.000 Dressing up like a clown and killing kids. 0.99

02:03:46.000 It's so terrifying. 0.99

02:03:48.000 Yeah.

02:03:49.000 And just burying them under the house.

02:03:51.000 Never caught the Zodiac.

02:03:53.000 Wow.

02:03:53.000 That's part of life.

02:03:55.000 The official investigation remains open.

02:03:57.000 Public interest has remained high.

02:03:59.000 Countless theories have gained traction over the years, pointing a finger at various men who share physical markers or specific interests with the famed killer.

02:04:06.000 They did crack the code, though, but I don't think they know who he is.

02:04:10.000 AI was like, I can't get that quick.

02:04:13.000 That's what I thought it was. 0.87

02:04:14.000 Why do you take so much time for you dummies? 0.97

02:04:18.000 Oh, what does it say? 0.85

02:04:19.000 It's been reportedly revealed.

02:04:21.000 Oh, no.

02:04:23.000 Let's see what it says here.

02:04:24.000 DNA points to an Air Force veteran.

02:04:27.000 According to an independent investigation agency, their information is solid.

02:04:30.000 DNA evidence.

02:04:31.000 Interesting.

02:04:32.000 Is the guy still alive or is he dead?

02:04:35.000 Huh.

02:04:36.000 Inaccurate says that tweet.

02:04:38.000 Inaccurate.

02:04:39.000 I don't know.

02:04:41.000 So what is the community notes on the tweet says inaccurate?

02:04:44.000 Can we click on those?

02:04:45.000 What does it say?

02:04:49.000 Okay, so it's not that the FBI said that this case is closed.

02:05:08.000 So it's a theory.

02:05:10.000 Didn't they catch Richard Ramirez from his shoes?

02:05:14.000 Did they?

02:05:14.000 Yeah, I think they found his shoe print.

02:05:16.000 You know what's most fucked up about guys like that? 1.00

02:05:18.000 They go to jail and then women want to marry them. 1.00

02:05:21.000 Why is that?

02:05:23.000 I think it's some ancient primal instinct that some women have to be connected to killers. 1.00

02:05:32.000 What?

02:05:33.000 Yeah.

02:05:33.000 Like, do they see it as a power?

02:05:35.000 I mean, there's probably, like, legitimate psychologists like Jordan Peterson can answer this much more accurately.

02:05:42.000 But I would imagine there's something, because it's such a forbidden thing to do to kill people.

02:05:46.000 Someone just kills people all the time.

02:05:48.000 There's probably some bizarre attraction that some mentally ill people have to someone like that.

02:05:55.000 It's probably based on DNA, because if you wanted your children to survive, you'd be better off, back in the barbarian days, with a slaughterer, not a slaughteree. 0.98

02:06:11.000 That's the guy you want.

02:06:12.000 There's a level of unhealthy alpha.

02:06:14.000 As long as he doesn't kill you. 1.00

02:06:16.000 You fuck him and he kills everybody else. 1.00

02:06:18.000 They might even see romance in that. 1.00

02:06:20.000 He chooses to kill everybody else, not me. 1.00

02:06:24.000 Vampires. 1.00

02:06:24.000 That's the thing about vampires. 1.00

02:06:25.000 Women, like the whole Twilight thing. 1.00

02:06:28.000 As long as he doesn't kill me. 0.99

02:06:30.000 You know, he's like, he's out there eating, sucking deers dry. 0.96

02:06:34.000 He doesn't want to kill people anymore.

02:06:36.000 Do you believe in vampires?

02:06:38.000 Well, I think scientifically they believe that if vampires existed, there would be no more humans because it would just be a matter of time.

02:06:48.000 They would just get us all and then turn us all into vampires.

02:06:51.000 And then just the amount of people that would get turned into vampires, it would be an epidemic.

02:06:54.000 You wouldn't be able to stop it.

02:06:56.000 If they were superhuman and their powers and all that stuff, they would just overrun us.

02:06:59.000 They would just overrun us.

02:07:01.000 Unless they also recognize that they would run out of a food supply.

02:07:05.000 Well then, what are they going to do?

02:07:07.000 To survive.

02:07:08.000 Just to survive, they have to keep eating people. 0.97

02:07:12.000 Either they kill the people, or they turn the people into vampires.

02:07:15.000 So it's like, depending on which lore.

02:07:18.000 Which lore are you going by?

02:07:20.000 Are you going by the one where they kill all the people, or are you going by the one where they drain...

02:07:24.000 The blood of the ones they love, and then they let them turn into vampires because it's romantic.

02:07:29.000 I mean, people definitely do drink blood.

02:07:32.000 Those are real rituals that happen in Europe all the time. 1.00

02:07:35.000 It's real satanic blood ritual shit. 1.00

02:07:38.000 Yeah, for sure. 1.00

02:07:39.000 That's real.

02:07:39.000 But then there's like, you know, how much of it is just what people are scared of?

02:07:45.000 They're scared of, you know, a thing like that.

02:07:47.000 Maybe it represents psychopaths to them.

02:07:50.000 Because the original Dracula was based on... 0.81

02:07:53.000 Vlad the Impaler, right?

02:07:54.000 Yeah.

02:07:55.000 I think Vlad Tepes was his name.

02:07:58.000 And this was a guy who literally impaled people on steaks and sat down and ate his lunch in front of them.

02:08:05.000 Insanity.

02:08:05.000 And there was a woman who did bathe in the blood of children.

02:08:09.000 That's a tricky one, too.

02:08:10.000 That's Elizabeth Bathory.

02:08:12.000 Yeah.

02:08:12.000 Clinical vampirism.

02:08:14.000 But I don't think that was to do with vampirism.

02:08:16.000 She just believed the blood kept her youthful, I suppose.

02:08:21.000 Well, we'll get into that in a second.

02:08:23.000 But look at this.

02:08:23.000 Clinical vampirism, more commonly known as Renfield syndrome, is an obsession with drinking blood.

02:08:30.000 The earliest presentation of clinical vampirism in psychiatric literature was a psychoanalytic interpretation of two cases.

02:08:40.000 Contributed by Richard L. Vandenberg and John F. Kelly, the authors point out over 50,000 people addicted to drinking blood have appeared in the psychiatric literature from 1892 to 2010. 50,000 people!

02:08:55.000 This was documented in the work of Austrian forensic psychiatrist Richard von Kraftibing.

02:09:05.000 Nailed it.

02:09:06.000 Many medical publications concerning clinical vampirism can be found in the literature of forensic psychiatry with the behavior being reported as an aspect of extraordinary violent crimes.

02:09:18.000 Jesus.

02:09:19.000 Jesus.

02:09:20.000 Yeah.

02:09:21.000 So it's a real psychological disorder.

02:09:24.000 At least 50,000 people in the past 150 years.

02:09:27.000 So the Elizabeth Bathory thing is an interesting one because the story is that Elizabeth Bathory was this woman and she was beautiful when she was younger.

02:09:36.000 But as she started growing older, she started murdering young maidens and bathing in their blood. 1.00

02:09:42.000 She was this evil, psychotic serial killer. 1.00

02:09:47.000 That'd be a good movie. 0.87

02:09:48.000 That's a good story, but there's also a counter story to that, that what they were trying to do was accuse her of this so they could take her land.

02:09:57.000 Because she was in control of this very coveted kingdom.

02:10:03.000 And they essentially put her in house arrest, because she was a royal, even though she was a serial killer, supposedly. 0.97

02:10:09.000 But there seems to be some possibility that there might be fuckery. 0.96

02:10:14.000 See if you can find that. 0.99

02:10:16.000 Damn. 0.99

02:10:16.000 See if you can find that. 0.99

02:10:17.000 I just read that recently because we talked about that on the podcast.

02:10:20.000 Then somebody, I forget who it was, brought it up to me like that might not have been what actually happened.

02:10:26.000 It's a troll farm.

02:10:27.000 Her brutality has been questioned by historians. 1.00

02:10:29.000 Here it is.

02:10:30.000 Several historians have argued that far from being a cruel and barbaric killer, Bathory was in fact merely a victim of a conspiracy.

02:10:37.000 The Hungarian professor, try that one, Laszlo Nagy claimed the accusations and proceedings against Bathory were politically motivated due to her extensive wealth and ownership of large lands in Hungary.

02:10:53.000 It is possible that Bathory's wealth and power made her a perceived threat to the leaders of Hungary, whose political landscape was overrun with major rivalries at the time.

02:11:04.000 Bathory appeared to have supported her nephew.

02:11:07.000 Gabor Bathory, ruler of Transylvania and rival to Hungary.

02:11:11.000 It was not uncommon to accuse a wealthy widow or murder or murder witchcraft? 0.67

02:11:17.000 I think they meant say of murder witchcraft or sexual misconduct to seize their lands.

02:11:22.000 That makes sense.

02:11:24.000 That is crazy.

02:11:25.000 So the official story was that she was a serial killer and that's that's you know she was doing that to try to stay young.

02:11:32.000 But if you wanted to lock somebody up, that would be the way to do it.

02:11:35.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:11:35.000 So she's a fucking serial killer. 1.00

02:11:37.000 Highest number of victims was 650. Oh my God. 1.00

02:11:41.000 Jesus.

02:11:41.000 According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Bathory is the most prolific female murderer and the most prolific murderer of the Western world.

02:11:48.000 This is despite the precise number of her victims remaining unknown and debated.

02:11:54.000 Upon collecting testimony from 300 witnesses, Thurzo determined that Bathory had tortured and killed more than 600 victims.

02:12:02.000 The highest number cited was 650. However, this number came from a claim by a servant girl that Bathory's court official had seen the figure in one of her private books.

02:12:13.000 The book never came to light.

02:12:15.000 Bathory's victims were said to have been hidden a variety of places, but the most common method was to have the body secretly buried in the church graveyards at night.

02:12:27.000 So this was a servant girl that claimed that she saw a book that said that she had killed 600 people.

02:12:35.000 Yeah, she's like writing down in their blood. 0.92

02:12:40.000 411. Imagine being such a psycho that you've documented all the people that you killed and bathe in their blood. 0.97

02:12:49.000 Imagine how many people have done it.

02:12:50.000 He didn't bathe in the blood, but he kept a little sample of all of them.

02:12:54.000 Imagine how many people have done it we don't know about.

02:12:55.000 I think they all keep little trinkets.

02:12:57.000 Oh, definitely.

02:12:59.000 Definitely.

02:13:00.000 Has there been a serial killer for a while?

02:13:03.000 There's a lot of them active right now in the country.

02:13:05.000 Really?

02:13:05.000 Yeah, there's always active serial killers.

02:13:08.000 How do you just never hear about it?

02:13:10.000 Some of them try it for a little while and then stop.

02:13:12.000 Try it for a little while.

02:13:14.000 Yeah, for real.

02:13:15.000 Like it's tobacco.

02:13:15.000 But they could.

02:13:16.000 They could just try it for a while if they get away with it. 0.99

02:13:19.000 It's not anal, dawg. 0.99

02:13:20.000 Like you can't dabble in murder. 0.99

02:13:22.000 There's a lot of broken people out there that I think right now probably dabble in murder.

02:13:27.000 That's terrifying.

02:13:28.000 It is terrifying.

02:13:29.000 And it's probably in other parts of the world even more common.

02:13:31.000 But you know what?

02:13:32.000 That's actually...

02:13:33.000 It's a weird association I have with scary movies.

02:13:36.000 Murderer scary movies never scare me because I know it happens in the world every day.

02:13:41.000 Ghosts, demon, monster stuff.

02:13:44.000 That's what scares me.

02:13:45.000 Ghosts?

02:13:45.000 Because it's up to your imagination.

02:13:46.000 Demons, monsters.

02:13:48.000 Yeah.

02:13:49.000 Yeah, those are the scariest, I guess.

02:13:51.000 Well, the scariest are aliens.

02:13:52.000 Because it's, yeah, Fear of the Unknown.

02:13:54.000 Alien 1 movie.

02:13:55.000 Oh, my God.

02:13:56.000 That, to me, is the scariest, scary movie ever.

02:13:59.000 That movie was terrifying.

02:14:00.000 Is it Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind that takes place in Alaska?

02:14:04.000 Where they combine the actual footage of the woman's real therapy sessions and stuff.

02:14:09.000 I don't know.

02:14:09.000 Jamie, you know what I'm talking about?

02:14:11.000 Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind?

02:14:13.000 It's Third or Fourth Kind.

02:14:14.000 Which one's the original movie?

02:14:16.000 Third Kind.

02:14:16.000 So this one's Fourth Kind.

02:14:17.000 I'm almost heard.

02:14:19.000 Probably wrong.

02:14:20.000 I've never heard of it.

02:14:21.000 It's a really good movie.

02:14:22.000 There's a woman up in... 0.97

02:14:23.000 I want to say Juno?

02:14:25.000 Or no, no, no.

02:14:25.000 What's the...

02:14:26.000 Gnome.

02:14:27.000 Gnome, Alaska.

02:14:28.000 And back in the day, she was...

02:14:31.000 She became famous because she claimed aliens were basically showing up and abducting her and stuff, right? 0.99

02:14:36.000 And eventually, her kid got abducted by aliens.

02:14:39.000 Right.

02:14:40.000 Or so that's the case.

02:14:42.000 And they accused her of like killing the kid or whatever it may be.

02:14:45.000 Obviously nobody believes that this woman's son was abducted.

02:14:49.000 Her daughter was abducted by aliens.

02:14:51.000 So it's not currently available in our country?

02:14:53.000 What?

02:14:53.000 It's like in Canada.

02:14:54.000 I think it's showing up weird.

02:14:56.000 You can only get it in Canada?

02:14:57.000 I don't know.

02:14:58.000 What?

02:15:00.000 That's strange.

02:15:02.000 Interesting.

02:15:02.000 But they have...

02:15:03.000 So it's a movie about this case, but they splice in real footage of her therapy sessions she had to go to, that she was going to while she was being abducted each night.

02:15:13.000 And they do this...

02:15:15.000 I don't really know how to describe it.

02:15:17.000 This deep meditative state that makes you recall your dreams.

02:15:20.000 And she's like describing all the things that were happening to her, these aliens.

02:15:25.000 And she starts screaming.

02:15:25.000 She starts like levitating up from the couch a little bit.

02:15:29.000 Like it's like it's creepy as shit. 0.99

02:15:31.000 It's a really good movie. 0.98

02:15:33.000 It's my favorite abduction movie I've ever seen.

02:15:35.000 And obviously nobody believes her.

02:15:36.000 She runs into the one person.

02:15:40.000 Oh yeah, that old footage is like the real footage.

02:15:43.000 Wow.

02:15:44.000 So, here's my issue with the alien abduction thing.

02:15:50.000 Other than there's not like any real solid evidence that you could point to that's very convincing.

02:15:55.000 It always happens at night.

02:15:56.000 And it always happens during periods where people sleep.

02:15:59.000 And when you're sleeping, I'm not saying always.

02:16:02.000 Okay, I'm sure there's some stories out there.

02:16:04.000 I'm sorry.

02:16:05.000 But most of the stories I've ever heard are people in their bed, they can't move, aliens abduct them, or they're in a car, the car stops, they wake up.

02:16:14.000 Aliens adopted him.

02:16:16.000 When you go to sleep and you dream, there are psychedelic chemicals that your brain makes.

02:16:23.000 And we don't know how much they're making.

02:16:26.000 We don't know what effect that's having on your dreams.

02:16:30.000 We don't know what is going on.

02:16:32.000 What is going on with dreams?

02:16:34.000 What is going on with vivid dreams?

02:16:36.000 What is going on with dreams that are...

02:16:38.000 They're indiscernible from real life and sometimes in a strange way.

02:16:43.000 Like what is that?

02:16:44.000 Is that a psychedelic state your brain goes into every night?

02:16:47.000 Yeah.

02:16:48.000 And if chemicals vary in human beings, serotonin varies, dopamine varies, everything varies.

02:16:56.000 Testosterone varies, estrogen varies.

02:16:57.000 It varies.

02:16:58.000 Wouldn't you just assume those psychedelic chemicals would vary?

02:17:02.000 And wouldn't you just assume that sometimes maybe even people are in very agitated, anxiety-ridden states, high cortisol levels, perhaps maybe those chemicals are coming out in an abundance too.

02:17:19.000 Now, if you're lying in bed and you're having an insanely vivid and There's a terrifying interaction with aliens every night.

02:17:31.000 Because your brain is just dumping psychedelics into you.

02:17:35.000 And this is your big fear, so you're gonna get abducted by aliens again.

02:17:38.000 And then there they are again, leaning over your bed and reaching for you.

02:17:42.000 Constant paranoia. 1.00

02:17:44.000 And then here's the mindfuck of all mindfucks. 0.99

02:17:48.000 Maybe... 0.99

02:17:50.000 Psychedelics are a gateway to some other reality, some other dimension that's accessible by these creatures.

02:17:59.000 I like this.

02:17:59.000 And that when you are getting abducted, you really are getting abducted.

02:18:04.000 Like, whatever your being is or your spirit or whatever is you is getting...

02:18:10.000 You're interacting with these things.

02:18:14.000 And it feels real because it is real and because we're thinking about the ability to come in contact with other life forms as being a physical thing.

02:18:23.000 It might be that there's a chemical gateway in your mind that when breached you enter into a dimension where physical bodies don't exist anymore and everything moves in this constant soup of geometric patterns and that Whatever your consciousness is,

02:18:44.000 whatever your soul is, is decoupled from the body and thrown into this realm.

02:18:50.000 I imagine that's probably what happens at death.

02:18:52.000 It probably is what happens at death.

02:18:55.000 I mean, that's probably why people think about it that way, that you're going to transcend into heaven.

02:19:00.000 You're going to go into this new place.

02:19:02.000 It might be true.

02:19:13.000 Enter into a psychedelic state.

02:19:14.000 I've heard this multiple times that it's like a well of souls.

02:19:18.000 That you're interacting with souls that are like completely unattached to a physical presence.

02:19:27.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:19:29.000 And maybe you're getting layers and layers of that depending upon how fucked up you are where you're sleeping. 0.98

02:19:36.000 And maybe some of those layers are, boom, aliens in the room with you. 0.99

02:19:40.000 Peeled back.

02:19:41.000 Just aliens in the room with you.

02:19:42.000 And maybe they can do that.

02:19:43.000 Maybe they can visit you while you're in those states.

02:19:47.000 Maybe that's what's happening, too. 0.98

02:19:49.000 I mean, we're just assuming, like, before anybody invented a cell phone camera, like, if you tried to show that to someone from 1700, they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.97

02:20:00.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:20:01.000 Like, what is this?

02:20:02.000 Yeah.

02:20:02.000 The idea of transforming, or rather, traveling through another dimension Even in a non-physical sense, even in like a hologram sense, and existing in a space that's completely different from the dimension that you exist in.

02:20:22.000 Yeah.

02:20:23.000 Like, that might be a thousand years from now. 1.00

02:20:25.000 Normal shit, like a cell phone picture. 1.00

02:20:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:20:28.000 Yeah, it's just above our understanding for now.

02:20:31.000 It could be.

02:20:32.000 So it could be... 0.89

02:20:33.000 That makes total sense to me, because it's like, what the fuck is Wi-Fi? 0.82

02:20:36.000 You know what I mean? 0.83

02:20:37.000 You can't see it.

02:20:37.000 It's not a physical thing you can see.

02:20:39.000 Exactly. 0.94

02:20:39.000 What the fuck is Wi-Fi? 0.94

02:20:41.000 Yeah, how? 0.99

02:20:42.000 What do you mean a text goes from my phone to your phone? 0.98

02:20:44.000 What the fuck does that mean? 0.91

02:20:45.000 There's no wires. 0.99

02:20:46.000 What are you talking about?

02:20:47.000 Yeah, so that makes total sense.

02:20:49.000 It's not just a text, but a video.

02:20:50.000 You could send a video to your friend that lives in China.

02:20:53.000 And it's the exact same quality as you saw with your own eyes.

02:20:56.000 Maybe not China.

02:20:57.000 Okay.

02:20:58.000 Japan.

02:20:59.000 If you made a TikTok.

02:21:00.000 Okay.

02:21:00.000 Yeah.

02:21:00.000 You could send it to Japan.

02:21:02.000 You could send it to Germany. 0.90

02:21:03.000 You could send...

02:21:04.000 If you have a friend in Germany.

02:21:05.000 Yeah.

02:21:05.000 You could send that person a video and they will get it.

02:21:09.000 You send them an iMessage and they will get it and they'll open up that video and they'll watch it.

02:21:12.000 How?

02:21:12.000 Like through space.

02:21:14.000 A non-physical transfer.

02:21:16.000 It's wild.

02:21:17.000 You watch sporting events on your phone.

02:21:20.000 Yeah, in real time.

02:21:22.000 In real time.

02:21:23.000 We live in the future.

02:21:25.000 Yeah.

02:21:25.000 We just don't live in the future where you can travel from one dimension to another and exist in this other dimension as long as this person is in a certain psychedelic state.

02:21:36.000 Yeah.

02:21:36.000 It's totally believable.

02:21:37.000 Yeah.

02:21:38.000 And honestly, I hope there's some truth to that.

02:21:40.000 It's scary to think about, but that gives a little bit of comfort to have just some kind of answer.

02:21:48.000 I think the worst thing that would happen if you died is if you stay totally conscious.

02:21:54.000 Imagine your body, you leave your body, right?

02:21:57.000 You have no more control.

02:21:58.000 You just exist in the woods.

02:21:59.000 Yeah, you still have a consciousness, but when people close your eyes, you're just in darkness for the rest of eternity.

02:22:05.000 But, okay, hear me out.

02:22:08.000 Super high conversation.

02:22:11.000 Now, you're conscious in all black, right?

02:22:14.000 But because you have power over your consciousness, you can create.

02:22:17.000 So what do you do?

02:22:18.000 You create.

02:22:20.000 Some kind of reality.

02:22:22.000 Now you're God of your own consciousness and you create beings within that.

02:22:26.000 You get so kooky that you make your own reality.

02:22:28.000 Yeah, because what else is there to do besides create something in your consciousness?

02:22:31.000 You can't move.

02:22:32.000 You have no life anymore.

02:22:33.000 It's just torture.

02:22:34.000 Yeah, that would be the most terrifying thing.

02:22:37.000 You exist but you can't interact.

02:22:37.000 Yeah.

02:22:38.000 Imagine, what if God's that?

02:22:39.000 Nobody knows you're there.

02:22:40.000 What if God is exactly that?

02:22:43.000 I think God is the whole universe.

02:22:45.000 Has to be.

02:22:46.000 That's what I think.

02:22:47.000 I think this idea that God made the universe, I think God is the universe.

02:22:50.000 I think that makes more sense.

02:22:52.000 That this whole thing is just...

02:22:54.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:22:56.000 The whole thing is just this...

02:22:57.000 Infinite?

02:22:58.000 Infinite creation machine that creates...

02:23:03.000 Galaxies, solar systems, stars.

02:23:06.000 Everything to microorganisms.

02:23:08.000 Yeah, that it's all by this strange mathematical process that exists where everything gets more and more complex.

02:23:17.000 Everything from the beginning to now and then the humans and whatever is past humans, they're just constantly making things more complicated and more advanced.

02:23:28.000 Even like the way planets form and life grows on them and then that life figures out gunpowder.

02:23:35.000 All that stuff is wild.

02:23:37.000 It's wild because it seems to be like it all is moving in this very specific way.

02:23:45.000 Even in evolution, animals don't make it. 0.99

02:23:47.000 Your design sucks. 0.96

02:23:49.000 We've got a new design now. 0.99

02:23:50.000 This one's better.

02:23:51.000 You guys ground nest?

02:23:53.000 There's cats around here.

02:23:54.000 This isn't going to work out.

02:23:55.000 Up in the trees?

02:23:56.000 Yeah.

02:24:00.000 It's kind of weird to think that Here's one of the weird ones.

02:24:05.000 People don't ever want to believe in anything other than scientific facts.

02:24:10.000 And when you're examining the universe, we base it on the information that we can currently get from the web telescope and from space exploration and all the stuff that we've done.

02:24:22.000 So we have this understanding of the universe, but it all relies on a miracle.

02:24:30.000 It really does.

02:24:31.000 Yeah.

02:24:43.000 It's all based on odds.

02:24:45.000 But it's almost like to throw in your face, like the more you figure out about everything, the more you figure out everything about the vastness of the universe, black holes and what is inside of them.

02:24:59.000 Is there something in there?

02:25:00.000 Is that a portal to another universe?

02:25:02.000 It has to be.

02:25:03.000 It might be.

02:25:03.000 I think that's the only thing it can be to me.

02:25:05.000 But the more you think about the complexity of all it, and that it all emerged from this teeny tiny little...

02:25:13.000 And what was before that teeny tiny little thing?

02:25:17.000 What was the teeny tiny thing?

02:25:18.000 What was that form of this universe?

02:25:21.000 Exactly.

02:25:22.000 And where was it?

02:25:23.000 It's almost like... 0.98

02:25:24.000 If it wasn't in space, if it itself is space, where the fuck was it? 0.99

02:25:27.000 It's almost like as intelligent as people get, as they get more and more advanced, more and more knowledge, They have to kind of always admit they don't know shit. 0.98

02:25:37.000 Because there's no way you know what happened. 0.92

02:25:40.000 You can't know.

02:25:41.000 It doesn't make any sense. 0.91

02:25:42.000 No one has ever come up with any fucking reasoning that makes any sense why this one thing would be smaller than the head of a pin and then become this infinite expansion that we see in front of us. 0.90

02:25:55.000 Yeah, what? 0.89

02:25:56.000 What happened?

02:25:57.000 There's theories.

02:25:58.000 There's some brilliant theories.

02:26:00.000 There's theories that it's a never-ending process of constant expansion and compression, which is really terrifying.

02:26:06.000 It continues to expand? 0.98

02:26:08.000 What's really terrifying is that the whole universe is eventually going to go back to that fucking pain. 0.99

02:26:12.000 No, it's not. 0.99

02:26:13.000 Why would that happen?

02:26:13.000 I don't know.

02:26:15.000 No.

02:26:15.000 What made it in the first place?

02:26:17.000 We're too stupid to be talking about the universe. 1.00

02:26:19.000 I know. 1.00

02:26:20.000 I know that that is a theory.

02:26:24.000 There's also a theory that different universes collide with each other and that they're like membranes and they collide with each other and that could be what's creating big bangs.

02:26:33.000 That would make the most amount of sense for a reaction of that size.

02:26:37.000 Dude, it's all scary.

02:26:38.000 It's so big.

02:26:39.000 We just look at it like numbers.

02:26:41.000 Oh, 13 trillion.

02:26:42.000 And we had Brian Keating on, who's explaining that these people that are saying that the universe is not 13.7 billion, that it might be 26 billion.

02:26:51.000 He said that's really based on the development of these galaxies that exist.

02:26:56.000 And it's not definitive proof that the universe is that old.

02:26:59.000 But even like 13 billion, what are you saying?

02:27:01.000 I know there's science behind it, but yeah, what? 0.98

02:27:04.000 Also, how do you fucking know, man? 0.85

02:27:06.000 How do you calculate that? 0.99

02:27:08.000 How do you know?

02:27:09.000 How can you know?

02:27:11.000 Geniuses.

02:27:12.000 It's amazing.

02:27:12.000 It's amazing just to think of how much we do know, and then how much we don't.

02:27:17.000 That's scary.

02:27:18.000 It's so bananas.

02:27:20.000 Is it wildly unprofessional if I have to pee so bad right now? 0.99

02:27:24.000 No, we could wrap this bitch up, too. 1.00

02:27:26.000 Okay, whatever. 0.99

02:27:26.000 This was a lot of fun, man. 0.99

02:27:27.000 Dude, this was so much fun.

02:27:29.000 I really enjoyed it.

02:27:29.000 Thank you so much for having me on, man.

02:27:31.000 Give everybody your social media, where they can find you, website.

02:27:35.000 Everything is just Matt Reif, M-A-T-T-R-I-F-E, website, mattreifeofficial.com.

02:27:39.000 We're going to add some tour dates at the end of this year for top of next year, so everything's sold out right now.

02:27:44.000 Right into the camera.

02:27:45.000 Just doing a little plug?

02:27:47.000 Just doing a little plug?

02:27:48.000 So, yeah.

02:27:49.000 It was fun talking to you, my friend.

02:27:51.000 Likewise, man.

02:27:52.000 This was a dream.

02:27:52.000 We'll have some fun tonight.

02:27:53.000 I would love that.

02:27:54.000 Okay.

02:27:54.000 Thank you.

02:27:54.000 All right.

02:27:55.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 12, 2023

Joe Rogan Experience #2033 - Matt Rife

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript