The Joe Rogan Experience - September 30, 2023


Joe Rogan Experience #2042 - Joe List


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 37 minutes

Words per Minute

192.16136

Word Count

30,243

Sentence Count

3,390

Misogynist Sentences

92


Summary

Comedian Joe Rogan joins Jemele to discuss drugs and alcohol. They discuss the dangers of drugs and booze, and how to deal with them in the workplace and on stage. They also discuss how to stay sober in comedy clubs and bars, and what it's like to be a stand-up comic in a world where everyone is high on coke and booze. They also talk about what it s like being a comedian in your 20s and dealing with the effects of drugs like cocaine, alcohol, and coke in general, and why it s a good idea to have a designated driver when you re in a car with a bunch of other people who are high on drugs and drink a lot of alcohol. Joe also talks about his own experience with cocaine and how he dealt with it growing up in the late 80s and early 90s, when he was introduced to the drug scene by his cousin, who sold coke to him. Joe also discusses how he got into drugs, and his fear of coke, which is pretty common in his day to day life. And, of course, how he deals with coke. Enjoy the episode and remember to tweet us if you like it! with and or to say hi! if it s your first time at a comedy club or bar, we'd love to send us a review of the show! Timestamps: 1:00:00 - How much coke you've ever had? 3:30 - Coke? 4: How much cocaine you've done? 5: What do you like to do? 6:15 - How often? 7:20 - How do you do coke or drink it? 8:10 - What kind of drugs do you smoke? 9:30 10:00 11:00 | Coke does your heart explode? 12:30 | How does it make you feel? 13:15 14:40 - What is your favorite kind of drug? 15:40 16: Is it a good day? 17:40 | How much do you feel like you should be doing coo? 18:30 // 16:00 // 15:10 Do you have a coke problem? 19:00 / 16:20 21:20 | How often do you use coke/cocao?


Transcript

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:05.000 Train by day.
00:00:07.000 Joe Rogan Podcast by night.
00:00:08.000 All day.
00:00:35.000 I don't know.
00:00:38.000 It's fucking awesome.
00:00:43.000 We did it right.
00:00:44.000 What an atmosphere.
00:00:45.000 Yeah.
00:00:46.000 Great green room.
00:00:46.000 I mean, that's the only green room you can smoke cigars in.
00:00:49.000 That's not true.
00:00:50.000 I was just in Nashville at Zaney's and the manager was very nice and he was like, you can smoke a cigar if you want.
00:00:55.000 Oh yeah, Zaney's is great.
00:00:56.000 But I was like, I don't think I'm doing smoke a cigar in the green room numbers.
00:01:00.000 You know what I mean?
00:01:01.000 I'm like, I gotta add a couple shows before you're lighting a fucking stick in the green room, I think.
00:01:06.000 I think when we were in England, they told us that if you smoke inside, it's like a severe fine.
00:01:12.000 Something really crazy.
00:01:14.000 So you can't even smoke in the green room in England if you do shows.
00:01:18.000 Right.
00:01:19.000 Yeah.
00:01:19.000 Mostly I don't like smoking indoors because you fucking stink and the secondhand smoke can bother me.
00:01:25.000 But your green room is really well ventilated also.
00:01:29.000 Yeah.
00:01:29.000 You see there's big vents in the ceiling in that place when you go in there.
00:01:33.000 We set it up on purpose so that people can smoke in there.
00:01:36.000 No, I like when you can just watch the smoke just go straight out.
00:01:39.000 You're like, this is nice.
00:01:39.000 Yeah, because some of the comics smoke cigarettes and, you know, and, you know, you want to suck the air out.
00:01:47.000 You don't want everybody to be subject to it.
00:01:49.000 It's a wet dream in there.
00:01:50.000 Have you had anyone get too fucked up where you're like, dude, you gotta...
00:01:53.000 Because all I think about when I was drinking, if you just had whiskey and booze with, like, help yourself, there's got to be a few people that are going to be problematic at some point.
00:02:02.000 Everybody's been keeping it together so far.
00:02:04.000 Okay.
00:02:05.000 We'll see.
00:02:05.000 We'll see as the crowd grows.
00:02:07.000 I'm interested.
00:02:08.000 It feels like the kind of thing I come back in a year, and there's a safe with all the booze in it, and they're like, yeah, fucking so-and-so came in and ruined everybody.
00:02:15.000 Nah, I don't think there's that many of those super off-the-rail guys left.
00:02:21.000 I think that's a good point.
00:02:22.000 My wife and I talk about this a lot, but I think maybe because we're older, though.
00:02:26.000 I'm sure there's a bunch of comics in their 20s that really get after it.
00:02:29.000 Yeah, I bet that's true.
00:02:31.000 Yeah.
00:02:32.000 We just probably don't know them.
00:02:33.000 I'm thinking like established comics.
00:02:36.000 Because there was like established comics when I was coming up that were like national headliners that you just knew were off the rails.
00:02:44.000 Yeah, I actually think it's very difficult to sustain boozing that hard and be successful.
00:02:51.000 Most of it was coke.
00:02:53.000 When someone was like an off the rails guy, like completely out of control, it was booze, but it was a lot of coke.
00:02:59.000 Right, were you over a Coke guy?
00:03:00.000 No.
00:03:00.000 No, me either.
00:03:01.000 Yeah, that's what I want to say.
00:03:03.000 I was too afraid of snorting a thing.
00:03:05.000 And then no one ever said good things about coke to me.
00:03:07.000 Until later, I heard every once in a while.
00:03:09.000 But mostly people were like, ah, don't do coke.
00:03:11.000 It makes you crazy.
00:03:12.000 Your heart's gonna explode.
00:03:13.000 Like, people didn't sell cocaine to me.
00:03:16.000 Well, it just didn't seem like the people that I saw doing coke were going anywhere.
00:03:20.000 It just seemed like it was tripping up their life pretty bad.
00:03:23.000 Right, right.
00:03:24.000 I was very fortunate that when I was in high school, my friend, his cousin, was selling it.
00:03:28.000 And his cousin got addicted to it.
00:03:30.000 And I watched this guy go from being like a normal guy to being this, like, The person who just like hung out in this attic apartment and lost all this weight and just like, they just did coke and watched TV and sold coke and...
00:03:41.000 It's like you got bit by a vampire.
00:03:44.000 Yeah.
00:03:44.000 You know?
00:03:45.000 I'm always afraid my heart is gonna explode even without doing coke.
00:03:48.000 Like I actually have like a, my heart will raise and I'm just so paranoid about heart.
00:03:52.000 Does, does heart shit ever fuck you up?
00:03:54.000 Like mentally, that fact that your heart beats every second or whatever for 80 years and if it stops, that's the end of it.
00:04:02.000 That's how it works, Joe List.
00:04:04.000 I know, but does that ever trip you out a little bit?
00:04:06.000 I don't want to sound like, it's fucking crazy, man, but I'm like, that's nuts.
00:04:11.000 It is nuts.
00:04:12.000 Yeah, and if it stops, you're dead.
00:04:14.000 And if you get a transplant, it's a motherfucker.
00:04:18.000 They're trying to do pig transplants now.
00:04:19.000 They did it on this one guy and one person.
00:04:23.000 I don't know if it was a guy or a gal or a non-binary folk, like a fisher folk.
00:04:28.000 But they did it and the person stayed alive for a short amount of time.
00:04:33.000 I think it was like a couple weeks.
00:04:34.000 So they just jammed a pig heart in there?
00:04:36.000 It's a modified pig heart somehow or another.
00:04:39.000 Pig parts and human parts apparently are like super similar in some way.
00:04:44.000 I've fucked a few pigs.
00:04:46.000 Hello folks.
00:04:47.000 You son of a gun.
00:04:49.000 What does it say here?
00:04:52.000 How long did the man with the pig heart live?
00:04:54.000 He lived for 61 days.
00:04:55.000 Hey, that's not bad.
00:04:56.000 That's not bad.
00:04:57.000 Research and working on the new pig to human transplantation technique for over 30 years.
00:05:01.000 If successful, harvesting hearts from genetically modified pigs whose genes have been altered so they can be safely transplanted to humans may one day be a reality.
00:05:11.000 Wow.
00:05:13.000 I think on the way to that, though, I bet they're going to 3D print hearts.
00:05:18.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:05:19.000 I think, you know, as scary as AI is, I think all our problems are over, dude.
00:05:23.000 We're going to be making hearts and brains and all kinds of shit.
00:05:27.000 We're going to be connected to the Matrix, eating steak, being an important person, like Joey Pants.
00:05:32.000 Yeah, we're going to be great.
00:05:33.000 I'm going to have perfect eyesight and a strong jawline by the end of the year, I think.
00:05:37.000 You're not going to stop there.
00:05:38.000 You're going to look like He-Man.
00:05:40.000 I'm going to go fucking big chest.
00:05:42.000 You're going to go Superman.
00:05:44.000 You're going to go the Hulk.
00:05:45.000 Why wouldn't you?
00:05:47.000 You want to be a fucking human when you can be a superhero?
00:05:49.000 If you can genetically alter yourself to make yourself more masculine and thick and bigger and stronger, why would you stop at three?
00:05:58.000 We didn't even go to 26. Right.
00:06:01.000 Well, I don't think I could be more masculine, but I do feel like I would like, yeah, some more girth and really...
00:06:08.000 If that could be done genetically, though, where would you stop?
00:06:11.000 That's the question.
00:06:12.000 Right.
00:06:12.000 People would get ridiculous.
00:06:13.000 It's like when people don't...
00:06:15.000 I mean, I'm sure you've seen those Instagram videos of people with fake butts walking on the beach.
00:06:20.000 Yes.
00:06:21.000 They just went so far.
00:06:22.000 It's like, what?
00:06:23.000 This is great.
00:06:24.000 You're going to die.
00:06:25.000 That stuff can't be good for you.
00:06:26.000 What is that?
00:06:27.000 Yeah, I see it all the time.
00:06:28.000 You just look imbalanced.
00:06:29.000 It doesn't look good.
00:06:31.000 It looks insane.
00:06:32.000 It's an insane look.
00:06:33.000 But my point is, if they can do that with genetics, if it ever gets to a point where the mold of what we think of as the human physique has been completely thrown out the window, because now we're going to alter it from its very core to be a completely different structure...
00:06:47.000 We're going to just change what a person looks like.
00:06:49.000 People are going to be giants.
00:06:51.000 They're going to be dragons.
00:06:53.000 It's going to be fucking real life cosplay.
00:06:55.000 Right.
00:06:55.000 Do you think anybody will be like, I'm sticking with this.
00:06:57.000 I'm going long and thin.
00:06:59.000 Oh, there's going to be a few people that pretend for a little while.
00:07:02.000 Well, those are the same folks that say, I don't even have email.
00:07:05.000 Fuck you.
00:07:06.000 Right.
00:07:06.000 You got email now, bitch.
00:07:08.000 Right.
00:07:08.000 You know, like in 2001, you might not have had email.
00:07:12.000 You know, but I bet you have it now.
00:07:14.000 Yeah.
00:07:14.000 Well, you have to have it now, I feel like.
00:07:16.000 Yeah, you kind of have to have it now.
00:07:18.000 I enjoy email.
00:07:20.000 That's my take.
00:07:22.000 Well, it's certainly better than not having email.
00:07:24.000 I mean, people are like, well, and the privacy, and they're hacking your email, and they're sending you these scams, and yep, yep, that's what comes with this new thing.
00:07:35.000 Well, I just had a friend who works for some business that was getting, I don't know all the details, nor would I share them if I had them, but their company was getting sued or something, and then they just accessed his emails, and now they have 100% of his emails.
00:07:50.000 Ever email a fucking joke like, hey, I'm gonna kill that guy or anything, because they have it.
00:07:57.000 We should do all phone communication.
00:07:59.000 Maybe they're listening to the phones, too.
00:08:00.000 I don't know.
00:08:01.000 Yeah, I'm sure they are.
00:08:02.000 I think they didn't lock that down quick enough.
00:08:06.000 And when Edward Snowden exposed the NSA's gigantic sweeping surveillance system, Sort of thing.
00:08:15.000 And it's all under the guise of stopping terrorism, which, by the way, you fucking never hear about anymore.
00:08:21.000 What happened to terrorism?
00:08:22.000 We nailed it.
00:08:23.000 Climate change took the spot of terrorism.
00:08:26.000 Well, we stopped it.
00:08:27.000 Patriot Act worked, baby.
00:08:28.000 It must have.
00:08:29.000 We did it.
00:08:30.000 It must have.
00:08:31.000 Otherwise, they'd be talking about it.
00:08:32.000 We done did it.
00:08:32.000 Do you remember when, after 9-11, there would be a threat level, like a code?
00:08:37.000 Today's code is yellow.
00:08:39.000 It was like forest fires.
00:08:40.000 Like, okay, we're good.
00:08:41.000 Yellow's good.
00:08:42.000 Right.
00:08:43.000 You know, I have to bring a bulletproof vest to Starbucks.
00:08:46.000 Yeah, it was scary as fuck.
00:08:48.000 It was like, they really got to us.
00:08:50.000 But they nailed that terrorist attack.
00:08:52.000 I mean, they knocked it out of the park, so...
00:08:55.000 It was certainly one of the all-time great terrorist attacks in terms of publicity, in terms of how it affected the world.
00:09:02.000 It's gotta be number one, right?
00:09:04.000 Yeah, but it's just a crazy thing that an action like that changes your rights forever.
00:09:09.000 Changes everybody's rights forever.
00:09:11.000 But don't you think, someone was just debating this somewhere, doesn't it feel like COVID feels like it changed life more than 9-11?
00:09:19.000 Like 9-11, it's now like shoes and you can't, at the airport, and you can't go to the gate.
00:09:25.000 Right.
00:09:25.000 But other than that, it doesn't really feel that different.
00:09:28.000 Whereas COVID does feel different, where like cities have emptied out, and people still wear masks, and six feet, it's just much more, life feels more different after this than it did 9-11, in my opinion.
00:09:41.000 Well, because COVID got everyone to comply.
00:09:44.000 COVID got everyone to do things that whoever was on television was telling you to do.
00:09:50.000 Right.
00:09:50.000 It became a different thing where there was an experimental medication and you were encouraged to take it.
00:09:57.000 And if you took it, you wanted other people to take it too.
00:10:00.000 This is a fucking thing that people do.
00:10:02.000 When they do something, they want you to do it too.
00:10:04.000 And especially if they can connect what they did with doing the right thing, they want you to do it.
00:10:10.000 People do that with everything.
00:10:12.000 They do that with yoga class.
00:10:14.000 You don't think they do that with vaccines?
00:10:15.000 No, I think this all the time in New York, where you see one person starts crossing the street while the light is green, and literally the entire herd starts following them.
00:10:25.000 And then a car comes like, fucking, and then they have to jump back, because they were just watching that one person.
00:10:30.000 Yeah, happens all the time.
00:10:32.000 People go, well, that's also cell phone brain, too.
00:10:34.000 Right.
00:10:35.000 Because people are constantly checking, oh, we're walking now?
00:10:37.000 And they just will walk.
00:10:38.000 Yeah.
00:10:40.000 Did you know, I heard this recently, that gum sales have gone down, gum and candy, because people are looking at their phone in line, at like CVS, instead of just staring at, you know how they have the gum and candy underneath the register?
00:10:55.000 Oh, interesting.
00:10:56.000 Yeah, that's what I, I don't know if I read it or heard it, but like, before you'd be staring going, oh man, I could go for a Milky Way, but now instead you're looking at, you know, a pigeon shitting on a guy.
00:11:05.000 That completely makes sense.
00:11:06.000 Yeah, so...
00:11:08.000 Yeah, that really makes sense.
00:11:10.000 Of course.
00:11:11.000 Yeah, people just want, that's a new distraction.
00:11:14.000 I wonder if it's the same thing at the supermarket, when those stupid tabloids, one of their selling less.
00:11:19.000 I would imagine so.
00:11:21.000 Who's buying that now?
00:11:22.000 Well, they have tabloids built into the phone.
00:11:24.000 Yeah.
00:11:25.000 Also, like, the stories aren't outrageous enough.
00:11:28.000 Right.
00:11:29.000 Compared to what's like real online, it's mostly fluff pieces because you have to get celebrities to agree to do them.
00:11:36.000 Like, you know, us and people and all those.
00:11:38.000 Right.
00:11:39.000 I'm blown away by...
00:11:40.000 We were talking about this before you got here.
00:11:42.000 Like, I'm grateful.
00:11:44.000 I'm not into this dark web.
00:11:46.000 My algorithm is all like baseball and Martin Scorsese.
00:11:49.000 I didn't like...
00:11:51.000 Duncan Trussell last night was talking about some crazy shit he sees on the internet.
00:11:54.000 Like children shooting each other.
00:11:56.000 And then I was on your mom's house and they were like showing videos of dicks being peeled back and inserting cushions into dicks.
00:12:03.000 Cushions?
00:12:04.000 Or what?
00:12:04.000 I don't know.
00:12:05.000 Something where they put...
00:12:06.000 Do you know what it is?
00:12:07.000 They had some guy had a big pad under his hand.
00:12:10.000 They're putting...
00:12:11.000 I don't even know what it is.
00:12:13.000 Like...
00:12:14.000 Do you know what I'm talking about, Jamie?
00:12:16.000 A pad under his hand?
00:12:17.000 Yeah, I don't know the terminology.
00:12:20.000 People put horns on their dick.
00:12:22.000 It's some kind of product that puts bumps in you.
00:12:25.000 Yeah, body modification.
00:12:28.000 Yeah, one guy had a spider on his palm, or whatever the fuck this is, the top of your hand.
00:12:34.000 Oh, yeah, they give themselves horns and shit.
00:12:36.000 Yeah.
00:12:37.000 Yeah, bumps all over their head.
00:12:38.000 I don't know what made me think of that.
00:12:39.000 Oh, just that those videos exist.
00:12:41.000 I wasn't getting those.
00:12:42.000 I feel so naive.
00:12:43.000 I'm like, did you see this Tommy Lasorda saying motherfucker video?
00:12:47.000 And other people are looking at dicks being altered.
00:12:51.000 Yeah, if you can get in the wrong algorithm on Instagram, it can be quite disturbing.
00:12:56.000 And I'm definitely in the wrong algorithm.
00:12:58.000 We gotta get you back.
00:12:59.000 I don't think I can get back.
00:13:01.000 I think they have me now, because if they send it my way, I'm gonna look at it.
00:13:04.000 Because it's all, there's so many murder videos.
00:13:07.000 Well, I feel like, I just was saying this recently, like, it took me a long time to really get got by the algorithm.
00:13:14.000 Like, I was kind of like, I don't know what that is, but they finally figured me out, and it's, like, behind-the-scenes baseball sports shit, people talking shit in the locker room.
00:13:23.000 That's right.
00:13:23.000 That, and, like, and filmmakers breaking down, you know, Kubrick or whatever.
00:13:28.000 You know John Boy, you know that guy on YouTube?
00:13:30.000 No, I don't.
00:13:31.000 Oh, he's awesome.
00:13:32.000 Yeah?
00:13:32.000 It's a great hole to go down.
00:13:34.000 We were talking about it before.
00:13:35.000 He lipreads all these baseball fights and arguments.
00:13:39.000 You know when the umpire manager are fighting each other?
00:13:40.000 He's like a professional lipreader.
00:13:42.000 And he's hilarious.
00:13:43.000 And there's a million video.
00:13:45.000 You've got to see it.
00:13:45.000 J-O-M, boy.
00:13:47.000 You'll love it.
00:13:48.000 Get in that algorithm, because he's awesome.
00:13:50.000 But it's fucking hilarious.
00:13:51.000 It's like my childhood prayers have been answered.
00:13:53.000 You always watch the manager umpire scream and you're like, what the fuck are they saying?
00:13:56.000 Right.
00:13:57.000 And they probably swear horrible shit at each other.
00:13:59.000 Oh, it's all cocksucker and motherfuckers.
00:14:01.000 It's cocksucker and cocksucking this.
00:14:03.000 And horseshit is the other big one.
00:14:05.000 A lot of horseshit and cocksucker.
00:14:07.000 And I've been trying to get those in my life more.
00:14:09.000 Bring them back.
00:14:10.000 Cocksucker's fun.
00:14:11.000 Cocksucker's fun.
00:14:12.000 Joey Diaz always used it as a term of affection.
00:14:15.000 What's up, cocksucker?
00:14:16.000 Like, hey, cocksucker?
00:14:16.000 Yeah, what's up, cocksucker?
00:14:17.000 And when he said it, it was fun.
00:14:19.000 Well, you are bringing joy if you're sucking cock.
00:14:22.000 You are, but he's not saying it in that way.
00:14:27.000 And so there's other ways, like, words have different meanings.
00:14:31.000 Like, if you catch someone stealing your tire.
00:14:35.000 Mm-hmm.
00:14:37.000 What's up, cocksucker?
00:14:39.000 Right.
00:14:39.000 It's a different one.
00:14:40.000 Sure.
00:14:41.000 But if Joey Diaz calls you out, what's up, cocksucker?
00:14:43.000 You're like, what's up, Joey?
00:14:45.000 Yeah, it's very sweet.
00:14:46.000 It's all context.
00:14:48.000 It's a different, yeah.
00:14:48.000 It's also the word, you know, the word can be a term of affection.
00:14:53.000 I'm not really a call-a-guy-stealing-my-tire-a-cocksucker kind of guy.
00:14:57.000 I'm a big 9-1-1.
00:14:58.000 I'd be like, 9-1-1, this guy.
00:15:00.000 You're just going to get your tire stolen.
00:15:01.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:15:01.000 You're going to wait for hours.
00:15:02.000 Well, I'd call the police and, you know, see what happens.
00:15:06.000 Yeah.
00:15:07.000 I mean, it depends on what kind of guy it is.
00:15:08.000 Right.
00:15:09.000 I might be able to fuck him up.
00:15:11.000 What if it's Duncan?
00:15:12.000 Drussell?
00:15:13.000 Yeah.
00:15:13.000 What, does he have a tire iron?
00:15:14.000 That's a good point.
00:15:15.000 Because that's a weapon.
00:15:16.000 That's a good point.
00:15:17.000 Yeah.
00:15:17.000 Well, where is the tire iron positioned?
00:15:20.000 Because the tire iron is positioned on the actual lug nut itself.
00:15:25.000 You're an advantage.
00:15:27.000 Right, I could probably take his back, as they say.
00:15:29.000 Yeah, you're gonna smash him before he gets to that thing.
00:15:32.000 Now, dude, let me ask you this.
00:15:33.000 If you see a guy, he's crouched down, he's fucking with your car, and you're behind him, are you going blunt force to the head, or are you gonna take his back and choke him out?
00:15:42.000 Depends on how big the guy is.
00:15:45.000 Depends on the situation.
00:15:47.000 You hit someone with shoes on, it's really tricky legally.
00:15:52.000 Hit someone with shoes on?
00:15:53.000 Yeah.
00:15:53.000 What do you mean?
00:15:54.000 Them or you?
00:15:54.000 If you hit them with your shoes, it's kind of a weapon.
00:15:57.000 Really?
00:15:58.000 Yeah, I think they look at it differently.
00:15:59.000 I think even if, like, you had, like, these things on, like hokas, like running sneakers, I think it's still a weapon, which is ridiculous, because it's actually way softer than if I hit you with my bones.
00:16:08.000 So you gotta take your shoes off to kick a guy?
00:16:10.000 No, no, but I'm saying, like, whether I would hit him while they're doing that, I'd probably say something first and see how they react, but be ready to hit them.
00:16:21.000 Because it feels like if you fucking punch a guy or kick a guy as hard as you can, he might have a strong jaw and he...
00:16:28.000 But I feel like choking a person.
00:16:31.000 Yeah, choking works most of the time unless the guy knows how to fight.
00:16:34.000 Yeah.
00:16:35.000 What if he has really good defense and you realize that immediately and you forgot to put the second hook in because you were trying to stand up.
00:16:40.000 Right.
00:16:41.000 And then all of a sudden he spun towards you and you're like, oh my god, he's trained and he gets an underhook and then he trips you.
00:16:46.000 Now he's on top and you're in fucking half guard on the concrete and he's headbutting you.
00:16:52.000 And he's got a tire iron.
00:16:53.000 That was an old joke I tried doing about my level of fighting is if the person's cooperating, I can beat them.
00:16:58.000 Here it is.
00:16:59.000 Any object made or adapted for the purposes of inflicting death or serious physical injury can be considered a deadly weapon.
00:17:06.000 For example, a shoe or a shod foot used for kicking may be considered a dangerous weapon.
00:17:12.000 That's dangerous or deadly, though, right?
00:17:15.000 Because someone can...
00:17:16.000 We saw...
00:17:17.000 What was that movie?
00:17:19.000 Where...
00:17:19.000 Fucking...
00:17:22.000 What was the curb stomp movie?
00:17:23.000 Oh, American History X. That's right, American History X, right?
00:17:27.000 Yeah.
00:17:28.000 That was like two weapons.
00:17:30.000 The curb was a weapon too, and then there was the boot.
00:17:32.000 That was unsettling.
00:17:34.000 What is a shod foot, for those of us unfamiliar?
00:17:36.000 I had to check.
00:17:37.000 It is a shoe, or a foot with a shoe on it.
00:17:40.000 So what about flip-flops?
00:17:42.000 What if you kick someone you're wearing flip-flops?
00:17:44.000 Is that a shod foot?
00:17:46.000 I don't know.
00:17:47.000 Because you're kind of at a disadvantage with flip-flops on it.
00:17:50.000 We're going to have to go to the judges on that one.
00:17:52.000 Or a slipper.
00:17:53.000 I think it might be anything on your foot because it goes back to the history of talking about people that were almost always barefoot.
00:17:59.000 So that would be an unshot foot.
00:18:02.000 Yeah.
00:18:03.000 I don't know.
00:18:04.000 Fuck.
00:18:05.000 I feel like it should be shoed fit.
00:18:06.000 I feel like that was a shoed foot.
00:18:08.000 I feel like that was a typo somewhere and they just went with it.
00:18:11.000 Shod?
00:18:11.000 Shod foot.
00:18:12.000 Is that a word?
00:18:13.000 Shod?
00:18:14.000 Yeah.
00:18:14.000 It means with a shoe?
00:18:16.000 It means there's a shoe on your foot.
00:18:18.000 Yeah.
00:18:18.000 I mean, that should be shoed.
00:18:19.000 I mean, this is easy.
00:18:20.000 This is obvious.
00:18:21.000 Don't you think?
00:18:22.000 It should be shooed.
00:18:23.000 Why is it shod?
00:18:24.000 Do you know the mound to home plate is 60 feet 6 inches?
00:18:28.000 Because they did it with pencil, and the second one, it was supposed to be 60 feet even.
00:18:33.000 But the zero looked like a six.
00:18:35.000 That's why it remains 60 feet 6 inches.
00:18:38.000 Really?
00:18:38.000 Yeah, it was not a typo, a fucking right-o, whatever you call it.
00:18:42.000 I feel like that was shod.
00:18:44.000 I feel like they just left the E off, shooed.
00:18:46.000 I think it's more like a proper English thou shalt not thing.
00:18:51.000 That's gay.
00:18:52.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:18:53.000 Shod.
00:18:54.000 Your feet are shod.
00:18:56.000 Yeah, I get it.
00:18:57.000 I like it.
00:18:58.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:18:59.000 I'm going to say shod.
00:19:00.000 I think it's a proper thing.
00:19:02.000 Is it?
00:19:03.000 Shod is middle English, meaning put shoes on or provide with a shoe.
00:19:11.000 Yeah, that stinks.
00:19:13.000 Shad sucks.
00:19:15.000 It's weird that we have English words in England that are spelled different than the way they're spelled in America.
00:19:23.000 Yeah, there's still, you see, like, there's old O-L-D-E, town with an E, and, uh, there's...
00:19:28.000 Tires with a Y. Oh, I don't know that one.
00:19:31.000 And then there's...
00:19:31.000 Color with a U. Yes.
00:19:33.000 Color.
00:19:34.000 Flavor.
00:19:35.000 There's a few of those, yeah.
00:19:36.000 O-U. Yeah.
00:19:37.000 But it's, like, the same language.
00:19:38.000 Like, why are you guys fucking with the different words?
00:19:41.000 Yeah, I don't like it.
00:19:42.000 I don't like it one bit.
00:19:43.000 And what are you doing on the left side of the road, bitch?
00:19:45.000 Yeah.
00:19:45.000 We invented the car.
00:19:46.000 Get the fuck over on the other side.
00:19:48.000 I heard it was from jousting.
00:19:50.000 Is that something?
00:19:51.000 Yeah.
00:19:51.000 Does that make sense?
00:19:52.000 Yeah, it does.
00:19:53.000 Supposedly.
00:19:54.000 Have you ever driven out there?
00:19:56.000 I have not.
00:19:57.000 I've done it a few times.
00:19:58.000 It's a thrill.
00:19:59.000 I would imagine it would be a little bit nerve-wracking to be on the wrong side of the road.
00:20:03.000 It is.
00:20:04.000 I got great advice is that the driver's always in the middle of the road.
00:20:07.000 That's really helpful.
00:20:09.000 It's like you're closer to the middle than the other end, which is the same here and there.
00:20:14.000 You know what I mean?
00:20:16.000 No.
00:20:16.000 Like, you're on the right side of the car, but the left side of the road in England.
00:20:22.000 So you're, if you look out the window, the middle of the road is right there.
00:20:25.000 The line is next to you.
00:20:26.000 And the reverse, here in America, you're on the left side of the car, but the right side of the road.
00:20:30.000 So you look out the window.
00:20:31.000 I see what you're saying.
00:20:32.000 So that's helpful.
00:20:32.000 But I've only ever done it with one other, like my wife, in the car.
00:20:35.000 Because you need a second person to be like, don't forget.
00:20:39.000 Driving alone, I feel like I could fuck it up.
00:20:42.000 Yeah, you could fall back into the pattern and then all of a sudden see yourself in the oncoming headlights.
00:20:46.000 Yeah.
00:20:47.000 I think that's what happened to Matthew Broderick.
00:20:50.000 Matthew Broderick?
00:20:50.000 Yeah.
00:20:50.000 I don't know what happened.
00:20:53.000 It's also like just the shifting and everything.
00:20:56.000 If you're operating a manual, shifting now with your left hand instead of your right, that would be bizarre.
00:21:01.000 No, I couldn't do that.
00:21:03.000 I have a friend who's like a big driver.
00:21:04.000 He said that was the one thing he couldn't do because it was just too many things.
00:21:09.000 Yeah, because is the clutch still on the left-hand side?
00:21:12.000 It is.
00:21:12.000 So it's clutch, brake, accelerator, all in the same order, but now you're doing this.
00:21:18.000 And then which side do you do it?
00:21:19.000 Do you start far left or you just start far right and move that way?
00:21:24.000 You don't do that, do you?
00:21:26.000 That's what's weird, right?
00:21:27.000 Yeah.
00:21:27.000 If you're operating a manual transmission and you're in the English side, where's first gear?
00:21:34.000 Is first gear up and to the left?
00:21:37.000 That is a great question.
00:21:38.000 No, it's probably closer to you, up and to the right.
00:21:40.000 Yeah, like that?
00:21:42.000 Yeah.
00:21:43.000 Can I see that?
00:21:44.000 I think it's the same.
00:21:45.000 I'm looking.
00:21:46.000 Yeah, that's fucked up.
00:21:46.000 Yeah, I would imagine the thing they would have to do, that would be really hard to do, I think, for transmissions.
00:21:52.000 One of the hardest parts for me was I kept putting the windshield wipers on with the blinker, because you're used to the blinker being over here, so every single fucking time I would turn the windshield wipers on.
00:22:02.000 Yeah.
00:22:03.000 I love a good windshield wiper stock.
00:22:05.000 That's one thing that bums me out about my Tesla.
00:22:08.000 What's a stock?
00:22:09.000 A little stock.
00:22:10.000 A little thing that does the windshield wippers.
00:22:13.000 A little thing, you know, a little thing that sticks out of the steering wheel.
00:22:16.000 A little thing that does the blinkers.
00:22:17.000 Oh, oh, oh.
00:22:18.000 I'm thinking of the windshield wiper itself.
00:22:20.000 The little...
00:22:20.000 That does the blinkers.
00:22:21.000 You don't have that?
00:22:22.000 No, everything's...
00:22:23.000 It's a button.
00:22:23.000 Everything's this.
00:22:24.000 Yeah, buttons stick.
00:22:25.000 There's buttons on the steering wheel to change lanes.
00:22:27.000 There's buttons for a horn.
00:22:30.000 No, it's fun to have the physical...
00:22:31.000 Yeah, I'm going left.
00:22:33.000 Yeah.
00:22:33.000 I'm going right.
00:22:34.000 I'm going left.
00:22:35.000 You know, like, come on.
00:22:36.000 Sometimes I reach through and grab it over here.
00:22:38.000 You can, you got options.
00:22:39.000 I like going like this.
00:22:43.000 I like hitting that.
00:22:44.000 It feels like you're doing an alt-comic bit.
00:22:47.000 It's normal.
00:22:47.000 But isn't it a normal feeling to hit the blinkers and turn right?
00:22:50.000 Of course it's satisfying.
00:22:52.000 You do it.
00:22:52.000 You do that thing before you turn.
00:22:54.000 You don't press a button on your steering wheel.
00:22:56.000 It feels odd.
00:22:58.000 Every time, like, don't fuck this up.
00:22:59.000 I've had this car for two years.
00:23:01.000 And every time I press, sometimes I'll press the left button when I'm meant to press the right button.
00:23:06.000 I'm like, fuck!
00:23:07.000 I would love if you did exactly this on stage and the crowd's like, what?
00:23:10.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:23:12.000 Just a total crickets.
00:23:14.000 Like a really bad Seinfeld bit.
00:23:16.000 Like a copy of a Seinfeld bit.
00:23:18.000 Great set last night, by the way.
00:23:19.000 I went up to the balcony and watched it.
00:23:20.000 Very funny.
00:23:21.000 Thank you.
00:23:21.000 I know you know that, but...
00:23:23.000 Thank you.
00:23:24.000 It was a fun night.
00:23:25.000 Yeah, it was awesome.
00:23:26.000 It's so fun to run back and forth to the two rooms, and there's such different kinds of rooms.
00:23:31.000 Oh yeah, that little room is magic.
00:23:33.000 And you've become like a comedy pilgrimage.
00:23:36.000 I ran into like, first of all, I felt like a fucking celebrity out in Austin from those shows.
00:23:40.000 I bumped into two guys from Calgary that came just to see the room.
00:23:44.000 Then I sat next to another guy at a restaurant that was from Montreal who came just to see the room.
00:23:49.000 And then I met another guy who was from England.
00:23:52.000 Just fucking walking around.
00:23:54.000 I was fucking around with the crowd last night.
00:23:56.000 There's people from Australia.
00:23:57.000 There are people from all over the place.
00:24:00.000 Yeah, it's a destination, man.
00:24:01.000 Yeah.
00:24:02.000 Comedy pilgrimages.
00:24:04.000 People, they just want to see the room.
00:24:06.000 It's fun.
00:24:07.000 I hope more people do things like this other places.
00:24:10.000 Did you ever go on any, like, when you, before you started, like, I gotta go see, or when you started, I gotta go see fucking whoever.
00:24:18.000 Did you go on a road trip to go see a comic, like make a comedy fan trip?
00:24:23.000 Yeah, yeah, a couple of times.
00:24:25.000 I mean, in the early days, I went to see a bunch of comics, but Kinnison, I went to see Kinnison a couple times.
00:24:31.000 Yeah.
00:24:31.000 Yeah, I was like, 80...
00:24:35.000 89?
00:24:37.000 88, 89?
00:24:38.000 And the problem is it was like Kinison had already sort of deteriorated.
00:24:43.000 So it was kind of a bummer.
00:24:45.000 It's like we were talking about.
00:24:46.000 You can't go that hard and keep being productive, it feels like.
00:24:49.000 Yeah, it was pretty evident that...
00:24:54.000 Yeah.
00:25:13.000 And then the stuff about marriage was so funny.
00:25:16.000 It was so, like, obviously the guy had been in fucking terrible agony and heartbreak.
00:25:21.000 It was so obvious that people had broken his heart.
00:25:23.000 Right.
00:25:24.000 And you bought into it hook, line, and sinker.
00:25:27.000 But from that special, from...
00:25:30.000 So he has his...
00:25:32.000 First thing, which is Louder Than Hell, which is a cassette.
00:25:35.000 And it's really fucking good.
00:25:37.000 It's hard to get.
00:25:38.000 I got an album of it.
00:25:39.000 Okay.
00:25:41.000 I think you can get it some places, but I think...
00:25:43.000 I don't know.
00:25:44.000 There was some controversy with it.
00:25:46.000 There's a lot of like...
00:25:47.000 Very homophobic stuff in there.
00:25:49.000 But then it goes from that to the HBO special.
00:25:54.000 And I think that Have You Seen Me Lately, it's called.
00:25:58.000 And the HBO special is fucking amazing.
00:26:02.000 I mean, it's amazing.
00:26:03.000 It's just so good.
00:26:04.000 There's so many good bits in it.
00:26:06.000 And then the one after that's not.
00:26:08.000 It's just flat.
00:26:09.000 It just feels fake.
00:26:11.000 It feels like he's a guy trying to imitate Sam Kinison.
00:26:14.000 Yeah, I feel like that, I mean, I would never name names, but I feel like that happens sometimes with comics, where they have great material and a very unique way of doing it, and then they kind of start to lose the material and just have that unique way, and the marriage of the two is what made it great.
00:26:29.000 Well, I think it's hard to write when you're partying all the time.
00:26:34.000 Absolutely.
00:26:35.000 And you're going to events, and you're the guy in the Bon Jovi video, and you're this and you're that, and you're...
00:26:41.000 You know, I mean, his whole life, he was this, like, weirdo and this preacher, and then he gets into comedy and becomes one of the greatest of all time, and then all of a sudden he's a fucking superstar in the rock and roll days of, like,
00:26:57.000 Poison and Guns N' Roses and, like...
00:27:00.000 Whoa, and he's the rock and roll comic.
00:27:02.000 Right.
00:27:03.000 You know?
00:27:03.000 So he's like singing on stage now, like brings a guitar on stage.
00:27:07.000 Do you ever see some of that?
00:27:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:27:08.000 Yeah, you know that song Wild Thing?
00:27:10.000 Yeah, I vaguely remember.
00:27:11.000 I never was a huge Kinnison guy.
00:27:13.000 I wasn't big into the screaming.
00:27:16.000 I always find that comedy doesn't hold up great.
00:27:20.000 Most comedy, which is what makes comedy great to me.
00:27:22.000 So I think by the time I saw it, I was like a kid and just didn't quite understand it.
00:27:26.000 And then later, I was like, I don't know.
00:27:28.000 I mean, I respect Kinison, obviously.
00:27:30.000 He just wasn't one of my guys.
00:27:31.000 For me, it was like catching it in the actual context of the time of 1980, whatever it was, when he popped.
00:27:39.000 I want to say it was 86. Was it 86?
00:27:42.000 That was his first album, yeah.
00:27:43.000 Yeah.
00:27:44.000 So that's like right around the time when I had heard about...
00:27:48.000 See, he's partied with all these rock stars.
00:27:50.000 He made music videos.
00:27:52.000 But it just...
00:27:53.000 It became a different thing, man.
00:27:55.000 You know, with the...
00:27:56.000 It was all the look and the...
00:27:59.000 It was all like the...
00:28:00.000 You know, being seen at the right places with the right people.
00:28:04.000 And, oh, Sam's here!
00:28:06.000 Sam's here!
00:28:06.000 Right.
00:28:07.000 And he's doing lines.
00:28:08.000 Blah!
00:28:09.000 But before that...
00:28:12.000 When he was coming up, it was developing material.
00:28:16.000 Like, coming up with, like, really good, unique bits that would make you this superstar.
00:28:21.000 And then once it began with a superstar, it was, like, poison for that.
00:28:24.000 Right.
00:28:24.000 That's what's so hard about getting so big, is that people are like, yeah, the guy!
00:28:30.000 And see, it's so hard to balance, I imagine.
00:28:32.000 I'm not in that position.
00:28:34.000 But, I mean, you're pulling it off.
00:28:36.000 It's, um...
00:28:38.000 I mean, you just can't buy into the bullshit.
00:28:41.000 Right.
00:28:42.000 You can't be fucking partying with Bon Jovi and rock and roll every night.
00:28:47.000 It's like you're not going to get anything done.
00:28:48.000 Yeah, you need an amount of humility.
00:28:50.000 It also feels like that feels so removed from what makes stand-up great is a guy standing there telling jokes.
00:28:57.000 It's like now you have a guitar and a gang and women and drums, and you're like, well, that's not right.
00:29:02.000 Like, look at Chappelle.
00:29:03.000 He's doing it the right way.
00:29:04.000 That guy just gets on a plane and shows up in a city somewhere and starts doing guest spots.
00:29:09.000 Just starts going up.
00:29:11.000 Goes up at the end of shows.
00:29:12.000 Practices.
00:29:13.000 Fucks around.
00:29:14.000 And then next night he'll fly to this place or that place.
00:29:18.000 Just goes places and fucks around.
00:29:20.000 Writing.
00:29:20.000 Always working on new bits.
00:29:22.000 Always turning over material.
00:29:24.000 No, you gotta do it.
00:29:25.000 Now, do you still listen to sets?
00:29:26.000 Do you record sets?
00:29:27.000 Yeah, I record all of them.
00:29:28.000 Yeah.
00:29:28.000 I owe myself a few listens, though.
00:29:31.000 I've been slacking off.
00:29:32.000 Especially the bottom-of-the-barrel listens.
00:29:34.000 Those are the ones you really gotta listen to.
00:29:36.000 Yeah, that's a really fun show.
00:29:38.000 It makes me uncomfortable, which is why it's fun to do.
00:29:42.000 If the people don't know, I guess the audience writes down shit and you just pull them out.
00:29:47.000 Yeah, you have a barrel, and the audience writes down suggestions for...
00:29:51.000 For topics and then you just reach in the barrel pull it out and start riffing.
00:29:55.000 Yeah, it's fun.
00:29:56.000 It's fun.
00:29:57.000 It was super fun Yeah, that's not I don't do a lot of that so it was fun to get in that spot and Yeah, that was that was great that room fucking rules the smaller room.
00:30:07.000 Yeah, that's a little room They were they were fucked up last night intimate.
00:30:13.000 It's a super intimate room.
00:30:14.000 Oh Yeah, it was great.
00:30:16.000 It felt like a 1 a.m.
00:30:19.000 spot last night.
00:30:20.000 The late show?
00:30:21.000 No, it was the early one.
00:30:22.000 Oh really?
00:30:22.000 They were fucked up on the early show?
00:30:24.000 They were jacked up.
00:30:24.000 Yeah, it was one of those ones where you say something and then they kind of break into conversation a little bit.
00:30:29.000 And I'm like, are you alright?
00:30:29.000 What are you guys?
00:30:30.000 And they're like, oh no, I'm in the way.
00:30:33.000 But they were fucking great.
00:30:35.000 And it was really fun getting stuff out of them.
00:30:38.000 Because a room that small, if people are kind of chatting or chuckling, you can deal with them more.
00:30:43.000 It's like when you're in a massive room and somebody's yelling or talking from the back, you can't really deal with it.
00:30:48.000 Yeah, if you're in a theater and that's happening, it's a real problem.
00:30:50.000 Exactly.
00:30:51.000 But in a comedy club, you can pause and go, what are we doing?
00:30:53.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:30:54.000 And have like a real dialogue with them.
00:30:56.000 But you don't want to.
00:30:58.000 That's the thing.
00:30:59.000 It's like we've got to train people to just not talk out loud.
00:31:02.000 Just like you don't do in the movie theater, don't do it at a comedy club.
00:31:06.000 And don't talk to the comedians either.
00:31:07.000 Don't just talk at them.
00:31:09.000 Well, do you think?
00:31:10.000 I mean, what do you think about all these crowd work clips?
00:31:12.000 Don't you think we're breeding this?
00:31:14.000 I feel like it's a very bad situation.
00:31:16.000 It's not a bad situation because it's just how they do it.
00:31:19.000 Some people do it that way.
00:31:20.000 But it makes the audience want more of that.
00:31:23.000 I was talking, my niece has just went to college and she has a roommate who's like 18 years old.
00:31:27.000 She's like essentially a high school kid.
00:31:29.000 And she was like, what do you think of crowd work?
00:31:32.000 And I'm like, it's so crazy that like teenage kids are like, oh, crowd work.
00:31:36.000 Well, because those are the clips you can put online because it doesn't burn your material.
00:31:40.000 Right.
00:31:40.000 Because it's a unique moment.
00:31:42.000 Right.
00:31:43.000 But sometimes I feel like there's comics going up there just trying to get those moments.
00:31:47.000 They definitely are.
00:31:48.000 And it's annoying.
00:31:48.000 And then the audience thinks like, oh, I'll be part of this.
00:31:50.000 Well, there's comics that'll trick you, too.
00:31:52.000 You go see their actual act.
00:31:55.000 You know, the thing about crowd work is it's always funnier when you're there.
00:32:00.000 Of course.
00:32:00.000 But it's always funnier because everyone knows it's happening live and you don't know what's going to happen and neither is a comedian.
00:32:07.000 They know it's completely improvised.
00:32:09.000 Well, that's why it works.
00:32:10.000 Obviously, comedy is about getting everybody to be like, oh, yeah.
00:32:14.000 And if they're seeing it live, it just happens.
00:32:17.000 Good point.
00:32:18.000 But DePaulo used to always say that.
00:32:20.000 I worked with Nick for years and he'd be like, Oh, you're funny off the cuff?
00:32:23.000 Yeah, that's called a fucking being funny.
00:32:24.000 That's easy.
00:32:25.000 Write some material, you fuck.
00:32:27.000 Yeah, if you can do both, that's great.
00:32:30.000 Right.
00:32:30.000 But some people only do one or the other.
00:32:33.000 Right.
00:32:33.000 Yeah.
00:32:34.000 But there's tricks to it, obviously.
00:32:37.000 You definitely don't want to encourage people to interrupt people who don't do crowd work, though.
00:32:42.000 That's where it becomes a problem.
00:32:43.000 When people are drunk and they think, I'm going to get on a video.
00:32:46.000 Right.
00:32:47.000 That kind of shit does happen.
00:32:49.000 Now, how do you feel about MCs in New York, which is the only city that does this, where the MC goes up and just asks everybody where they're from and does almost exclusively crowd work?
00:32:58.000 They never did that in Boston when I was starting, and they didn't do it here in Austin, really.
00:33:02.000 Why did they do that in New York?
00:33:04.000 I don't know.
00:33:05.000 It's a New York thing.
00:33:05.000 New York comics, they think that's what the MC does.
00:33:08.000 I think part of it is to find out where everyone's from because there's so many tourists.
00:33:12.000 But most MCs in New York just do a lot of crowd work.
00:33:17.000 And I've heard people even be like, I don't like hosting because I don't do crowd work.
00:33:20.000 And I'm like, well, you don't have to.
00:33:21.000 Just fucking go up.
00:33:22.000 Does anybody not do crowd work?
00:33:24.000 Does anybody just go up and say, hey, what's up, everybody?
00:33:26.000 How you doing?
00:33:27.000 Let me tell you about my day.
00:33:29.000 I don't think so.
00:33:30.000 Really?
00:33:31.000 I hosted this years ago when Artie Fuqua got in the accident.
00:33:34.000 They needed hosts at the Cellar, so I volunteered.
00:33:37.000 And I hosted for like six weeks.
00:33:39.000 And I felt like I was the only one that just went straight into material, which I think is better because I find...
00:33:46.000 The audience, when they're settling in and ordering and getting their drinks and whatever, figuring out who's sitting where, if you look up and the comic is talking to somebody, they're going, okay, it hasn't really started yet, he's talking to that lady.
00:33:59.000 But if you look up in the middle of a bit, you're like, shh, fucking quiet, the show started.
00:34:02.000 That's how I always felt.
00:34:06.000 Yeah.
00:34:06.000 The problem with someone talking to the audience is it does kind of encourage the audience to talk to some of the future comedians if they have a point that the person disagrees with or if they're getting to a point and you cut them off because you can say something.
00:34:21.000 You know how sometimes guys will mislead you with a bit and you're like, what is he saying?
00:34:25.000 Oh, ha ha ha.
00:34:28.000 But some people jump in in the middle of it.
00:34:30.000 Right.
00:34:31.000 And fuck it up.
00:34:32.000 Exactly.
00:34:33.000 And they think they can because someone's been talking to them in the audience.
00:34:36.000 Exactly, yes.
00:34:37.000 And they're like, oh, this is a dialogue.
00:34:39.000 I got it.
00:34:40.000 Perfect.
00:34:41.000 Exactly.
00:34:41.000 Or it gives them an opportunity to be outraged.
00:34:44.000 And now this is kind of encouraged to give feedback.
00:34:47.000 It's encouraged to talk.
00:34:49.000 Right.
00:34:49.000 I also think that the audience needs to hear the rhythm of a few jokes.
00:34:56.000 But to me, it's like if you do crowd work for five minutes and then do ten minutes of jokes.
00:34:59.000 But sometimes you have an MC where you're like, if you're going first, you're like, I'm now the first one telling a joke, which is no good.
00:35:06.000 I think the audience needs to hear like, oh, okay, some bits.
00:35:10.000 Yeah, I think that definitely would set everybody else up for the rest of the night.
00:35:13.000 And that's really what the MC should be doing.
00:35:15.000 I remember Attell would get annoyed because Attell always wants to know where everyone's from.
00:35:19.000 So he would ask me, like, where are they from?
00:35:21.000 And I was like, I don't know.
00:35:23.000 And you could see that he was like, what?
00:35:25.000 And there's nothing worse than upsetting Attell.
00:35:27.000 That's so New York.
00:35:28.000 That's so New York.
00:35:28.000 It's so weird.
00:35:29.000 I know.
00:35:30.000 That New York has this one thing where everybody goes and...
00:35:33.000 Ask the fucking audience member where they're from.
00:35:36.000 It's very strange.
00:35:37.000 I remember seeing a comic one time.
00:35:39.000 It made me laugh so hard.
00:35:40.000 The audience member made me laugh so hard because the person was like, what are you doing?
00:35:44.000 And they're like, I'm at a show.
00:35:47.000 What do you mean?
00:35:47.000 What am I doing?
00:35:48.000 They're like, I'm on a date.
00:35:49.000 I don't get it.
00:35:51.000 To me, it's like, we're supposed to be doing a show.
00:35:54.000 I don't care what the audience is from or what they're doing.
00:35:57.000 I always felt like that style came out of the fact that The comedy clubs in New York, when I was coming up, they were all very intimate.
00:36:05.000 They were very small.
00:36:06.000 Boston Comedy was very small.
00:36:08.000 Catch a Rising Star was small.
00:36:10.000 The Cellar's small.
00:36:11.000 And because you're right on top of people, and they're packed in, and there's not that many of them, I felt like it's more intimate.
00:36:18.000 The stage is smaller, and I think it sort of led comedians to want to personalize everything.
00:36:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:27.000 Which I feel in that small room at your club.
00:36:31.000 What's it called?
00:36:32.000 Little Boy.
00:36:33.000 Little Boy, yeah.
00:36:33.000 I do instinctively start being like, you ever had this?
00:36:37.000 Because it does feel like you're at a hang.
00:36:39.000 Yeah, you're hanging.
00:36:40.000 Right.
00:36:40.000 Which is really nice, if you're doing material, because you're real intimate in that room.
00:36:47.000 You're on top of those people.
00:36:49.000 Yeah, I feel like you could shoot a special in there, or maybe someone already had.
00:36:52.000 I think somebody shot one in the big room.
00:36:54.000 David Lucas just shot a special in that little room.
00:36:56.000 Yeah.
00:36:56.000 Yeah.
00:36:57.000 That's a fucking killer.
00:36:58.000 And Brian, did he shoot something at your room?
00:37:00.000 He shot something in the big room.
00:37:01.000 Brian Simpson blew me away last night.
00:37:03.000 Oh, he's hilarious.
00:37:03.000 By the way, I always knew he was funny, but I like...
00:37:05.000 It's so rare you get to sit and watch comedy.
00:37:08.000 And I sat in the balcony watching.
00:37:09.000 I was like, this guy's like next level.
00:37:11.000 The balcony's the shit, isn't it?
00:37:12.000 It's unbelievable.
00:37:13.000 It's awesome.
00:37:14.000 When we first were walking around the building when it was its bare bones...
00:37:17.000 And we're standing up there in the balcony.
00:37:19.000 One of the first things we're thinking, like, you know how badass it's going to be to be just sitting up here chilling and, like, watching Chappelle go on stage.
00:37:28.000 And so when it actually happened, when we were there, the week had opened and Dave came by, and we're watching him.
00:37:36.000 I'm standing on the balcony.
00:37:37.000 I'm like, dude, I looked at Tony Hinchcliffe and I go, this is, like, exactly what we imagined.
00:37:42.000 It was the exact thing that we imagined.
00:37:45.000 That's an unbelievable feeling.
00:37:47.000 I don't want to sound gay, but we're very lucky people that we've lived a life where it's like, I imagined this and then did it and had it happen.
00:37:55.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:56.000 Super, super lucky.
00:37:57.000 But also, like, that's a good thing.
00:38:00.000 Like, when I was thinking about doing it, I didn't want to do it.
00:38:03.000 I'm like, this is too much work.
00:38:04.000 I don't want to be involved in this.
00:38:05.000 I always told comedians, be really nice to club owners because we need them and you don't want to be them.
00:38:10.000 We need them.
00:38:11.000 We need someone to own the club.
00:38:13.000 We need a place to go.
00:38:14.000 Who would want to deal with some of the maniacs that we knew?
00:38:19.000 Yeah, this is it.
00:38:19.000 Oh, wow.
00:38:20.000 That's the little boy.
00:38:22.000 No, that's the big room.
00:38:23.000 Yeah, that's the balcony, right?
00:38:24.000 Yeah.
00:38:25.000 Wow, that's killer.
00:38:26.000 Yeah, so that's before the concrete had been poured.
00:38:30.000 Those guys are standing on foam.
00:38:33.000 So there's a foundation under that.
00:38:35.000 And then they put these massive blocks of dense foam.
00:38:39.000 And then on top of the foam, then they lay more of that rebar and then pour concrete.
00:38:45.000 It's crazy what they did.
00:38:47.000 Because it was basically set up like a movie theater, like tiered stadium type seating.
00:38:53.000 And we lifted the floor up.
00:38:55.000 And it made it flat.
00:38:56.000 So how did it work?
00:38:57.000 Did you like, I feel like I'm interviewing you now, but I mean, how did you just explain the vision to a, whatever you call it?
00:39:05.000 I have an amazing architect.
00:39:07.000 Richard's an amazing architect.
00:39:09.000 One of the things about Richard is he's also a musician.
00:39:12.000 He's an artist.
00:39:13.000 He has an eye for things.
00:39:14.000 He sees things.
00:39:15.000 And he totally got the concept of it.
00:39:18.000 And so when we had looked at another building, I told you about the place that was owned by a cult.
00:39:24.000 So we had that place and then that one fell apart.
00:39:27.000 And then when that fell apart, it was really hard to find another spot.
00:39:31.000 And this place wasn't for sale.
00:39:34.000 They only wanted to lease it.
00:39:35.000 And I was like, I'm not gonna do that.
00:39:37.000 I need to be able to own it.
00:39:39.000 It doesn't make any sense.
00:39:43.000 Fortunately, they changed their mind, and they sold it to me.
00:39:47.000 And one of the things they liked was that 6th Street, they're making a lot of apartment buildings and high-rises.
00:39:55.000 They loved the fact that I was just going to keep it a live entertainment venue.
00:39:58.000 Yeah.
00:39:58.000 Because it's a 1927 theater.
00:40:02.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan played there in the 80s.
00:40:04.000 Yeah, I saw all the posters.
00:40:06.000 Killer fucking bands.
00:40:07.000 Now, were you drawing sketches, or were you just saying, this is what I'd like it to look like?
00:40:11.000 I didn't draw any of it.
00:40:11.000 Richard did everything, but Richard Wise.
00:40:14.000 We went over it.
00:40:16.000 We had a structure, right, because there was...
00:40:18.000 Alamo Drafthouse had been there before, and we also had...
00:40:22.000 We had a big advantage in that Richard had redesigned the Alamo Draft House.
00:40:26.000 So he was the one who was in charge of that project.
00:40:29.000 So he knew the whole bones of the building.
00:40:31.000 Because they converted it from, I think it was a rock and roll club, previous to that, and then they turned it into the Alamo Draft House.
00:40:39.000 And so they had to build a kitchen.
00:40:40.000 They had to build these rooms.
00:40:41.000 They had to, you know, set it up from the movies and do everything.
00:40:44.000 So he knew exactly where everything was.
00:40:47.000 And so we had two rooms in one building, which I really like, because I wanted a smaller, more intimate room and a bigger room.
00:40:54.000 And so when we saw it, we just had to address, like, okay, how do we do this?
00:41:00.000 And we had a bunch of different ways of looking at it.
00:41:03.000 We always agreed that the projection room would be the green room.
00:41:06.000 Like, that makes the most sense.
00:41:08.000 It's in the center of the two rooms, and it gives you the option of just literally walking there and seeing one room, or going this way to the balcony and seeing the other room.
00:41:15.000 Yeah.
00:41:15.000 So that was, like, that was a no-brainer.
00:41:18.000 And then we blew the walls out so it connects to the balcony, and we set everything up and moved all...
00:41:23.000 The equipment out.
00:41:24.000 We had old projectors in there and shit.
00:41:27.000 And then we built everything out.
00:41:29.000 And then in the process of building everything out, I had Louie come and look at it.
00:41:33.000 And Louie had some amazing advice.
00:41:36.000 He gave me some great advice about shrinking the size of the stage in the little room, lowering the ceiling even further.
00:41:42.000 And the little room was like a low ceiling.
00:41:43.000 He's like, can you get it lower?
00:41:45.000 Yeah.
00:41:45.000 I'm like, yeah, I think we can get it lower.
00:41:47.000 Maybe like a foot or two lower.
00:41:49.000 And so we did that.
00:41:50.000 And then in the main room, the same thing.
00:41:53.000 He said, lower the ceiling.
00:41:53.000 And so the ceiling drops.
00:41:55.000 So you have, you know, the balcony, you can see how the ceiling drops when you look out the balcony.
00:42:00.000 So you just see, like, the top of the stage.
00:42:02.000 Right.
00:42:02.000 I always thought it would be a great idea, I mean, it would cost billions of dollars, to have a comedy club that you could move the walls in depending on the crowd size.
00:42:10.000 You know how there's, like, a curtain?
00:42:11.000 But you wish you could just fucking physically move the wall to tighten it up.
00:42:14.000 Because, obviously, comedy just works tighter.
00:42:17.000 Yeah.
00:42:17.000 I mean, that's an impossibility.
00:42:19.000 This is my fantasy.
00:42:20.000 I mean, maybe it's not an impossibility.
00:42:21.000 I don't think it's an impossibility.
00:42:23.000 You'd just have to have walls that were on tracks, and you'd have the tracks built into some sort of an engine that moved them back and forth.
00:42:32.000 But it'd probably be stupid.
00:42:35.000 It would take up way too much room.
00:42:37.000 You know, how are they powered?
00:42:39.000 Are they diesel-generated or the electric?
00:42:41.000 No, manpower.
00:42:42.000 Everyone gets behind.
00:42:43.000 The audience pushes the wall in.
00:42:46.000 Yeah, it would have to be that, because if it was some sort of a computer, it would malfunction and kill everyone.
00:42:50.000 It would just compress the entire audience.
00:42:52.000 Like fucking Star Wars.
00:42:53.000 Yeah, exactly, like Star Wars.
00:42:55.000 Imagine if you have a sold-out show and someone hits the 100-seat button.
00:43:00.000 People are just stacked up on top of each other in the middle of the fucking room.
00:43:03.000 That's a great episode for one of those...
00:43:06.000 What do you call it?
00:43:07.000 What's that fucking show?
00:43:09.000 Black Mirror.
00:43:10.000 Black Mirror.
00:43:10.000 I was thinking of Twilight Zone.
00:43:11.000 But yeah, same shit.
00:43:14.000 That thing.
00:43:16.000 That's what I was wondering, though, if you could just explain to the architect what it looks like.
00:43:20.000 Because this blew my mind a while ago.
00:43:23.000 I was watching, like, some Springsteen behind the album thing.
00:43:26.000 I don't know if it was The River or Darkness or whatever.
00:43:29.000 But I never knew.
00:43:31.000 There's a scene where Bruce is talking to Clarence Clemens, and it's just like, it should sound like this.
00:43:36.000 Blah!
00:43:36.000 Blah!
00:43:37.000 Blah!
00:43:37.000 And he's just mouthing the sound of the saxophone, which in my mind, it's like Bruce is writing musical notes or something.
00:43:44.000 You don't picture a guy just being like, it should sound like this.
00:43:48.000 And then the guy does it.
00:43:50.000 It kind of was like, wow.
00:43:51.000 You know, it blew me away, but there's a lot of musicians who don't read music.
00:43:55.000 No, I think like most, and it's funny, I took mandolin, not most, but many rock musicians.
00:44:00.000 I took mandolin lessons years ago, and it was fun.
00:44:04.000 And I thought I wouldn't be able to read music, because I'd always hear like, Eddie Vedder can't read music, and Bruce Spring.
00:44:10.000 And it turns out it's not that hard.
00:44:11.000 They just didn't feel like learning it.
00:44:14.000 Like in my mind, I was like, these geniuses can't do it.
00:44:16.000 And then the lady was like, no, they just didn't want to learn how to read music.
00:44:19.000 It looks like a weird alien language when you see all the musical notes and everything.
00:44:24.000 To me, they register as nothing.
00:44:26.000 Of course.
00:44:28.000 I've seen people with musical notes tattooed.
00:44:31.000 They have a strip of music line and the musical notes around it.
00:44:35.000 I have no idea what it is.
00:44:37.000 It could be Nazi stuff.
00:44:38.000 Of course.
00:44:38.000 I don't know what it is.
00:44:39.000 It's crazy, and I have friends that are world-class musicians, and it's crazy to watch them just read a thing and play it.
00:44:47.000 It's like a magic trick.
00:44:49.000 I hate to do this, but I just got an IV before this, so I have to piss already.
00:44:52.000 Oh, piss.
00:44:53.000 What do I do?
00:44:54.000 You can be two or just hang out.
00:44:56.000 I'll be right back.
00:44:57.000 No, I just feel like I'll be all fucking jacked up.
00:45:00.000 Jacked!
00:45:00.000 Fuckin' up!
00:45:01.000 You drank caffeine though, right?
00:45:03.000 Yeah, I'm a green tea guy.
00:45:04.000 Are you a coffee guy ever or just a green tea guy?
00:45:07.000 No, I've never been a coffee guy.
00:45:09.000 Really?
00:45:09.000 I had one cup of coffee in my life and it was in Peru.
00:45:13.000 I was on vacation in Peru and we're in this coffee field and this guy was like, people fly from all over the world to have this coffee.
00:45:20.000 And I was like, well, I gotta have it.
00:45:21.000 I'm in Peru.
00:45:21.000 And I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever drank in my life.
00:45:24.000 I'm just not a coffee guy.
00:45:26.000 But as I get older, it smells very good.
00:45:28.000 So maybe I would like it.
00:45:28.000 But I like green tea.
00:45:30.000 Mmm.
00:45:31.000 Green tea's nice.
00:45:32.000 Very nice.
00:45:33.000 Coffee is one of those weird things that people call an acquired taste.
00:45:37.000 And I don't know why anybody would ever want to acquire a taste.
00:45:41.000 But didn't you find beer was like that?
00:45:42.000 When you first had beer, were you like, nice?
00:45:44.000 I was like, this is fucking shit.
00:45:46.000 I'm sure I didn't.
00:45:47.000 When I was a kid, I was probably like, this is fucking gross.
00:45:51.000 That's how I felt, like spit it out.
00:45:52.000 You're only drinking it to get fucked up.
00:45:54.000 Yeah, but then didn't you acquire a taste for it?
00:45:57.000 Like an IPA, you're like, ooh, this is delightful.
00:45:59.000 I don't like IPAs as much.
00:46:01.000 I like a cold ale.
00:46:04.000 You know, like a cold ale on a hot day.
00:46:07.000 You know, like fish and chips.
00:46:09.000 Of course.
00:46:09.000 Beer has to be...
00:46:10.000 Beer and soda to me, because I just needed them ice cold.
00:46:15.000 Well, beer I would drink piss warm or something.
00:46:16.000 Well, clearly, nobody drinks soda tea, right?
00:46:19.000 At tea temperatures.
00:46:20.000 Right.
00:46:21.000 But, I mean, you can get a warm soda and you're, like, furious, I mean.
00:46:24.000 I wonder what it would taste like if you microwaved your soda.
00:46:27.000 Like if you had a Coca-Cola and you nuked it up to...
00:46:31.000 Or if you put it in a teapot.
00:46:32.000 Does it boil?
00:46:33.000 I'm sure it'd boil.
00:46:35.000 It's liquid.
00:46:35.000 If you just poured it in a teapot, it's mostly water, and heated it...
00:46:42.000 So the thing was going off, and then you poured it in your cups and just drank hot Coca-Cola?
00:46:48.000 I don't know.
00:46:49.000 I mean, I assume it would lose its fizz, right?
00:46:52.000 Of course it would.
00:46:52.000 But imagine if we just invented something awesome and nobody thought to do it ever until just now.
00:46:57.000 We might have done it.
00:46:58.000 Has anybody done that before?
00:46:59.000 There must be YouTube videos.
00:47:00.000 So I'm reading right now.
00:47:12.000 Mmm!
00:47:15.000 Mmm!
00:47:15.000 Mmm!
00:47:20.000 I think I did a bit.
00:47:21.000 I don't remember the bit where I said I like to boil my soda, and I can't remember why I said it.
00:47:26.000 But I had a bit like that.
00:47:30.000 Fuck, I don't remember why I said that.
00:47:33.000 That's a weird thing to say.
00:47:35.000 Yeah, I don't remember the bit.
00:47:36.000 Were you just being outrageous about other things?
00:47:38.000 Like, was it a contrary thing?
00:47:41.000 No, I forget.
00:47:42.000 Maybe it was about...
00:47:44.000 Like I like cold steak and boiled soda?
00:47:47.000 I can't even remember.
00:47:49.000 Goddamn.
00:47:50.000 Do you ever have those?
00:47:51.000 You're like, I know I've said this sentence before and I don't know why.
00:47:54.000 It's the worst.
00:47:55.000 Yeah, I can't remember.
00:47:56.000 I like to boil my soda.
00:47:58.000 It was something about...
00:48:00.000 I don't fucking know.
00:48:03.000 I hear you.
00:48:03.000 I can't remember.
00:48:04.000 It'll come back to you.
00:48:06.000 That's one of those memories that you have to stop pushing the memory guy to find it.
00:48:10.000 He's like, I can't find it!
00:48:11.000 I can't find it!
00:48:12.000 You're like, okay, I'm gonna leave you alone.
00:48:14.000 I'm gonna leave you alone.
00:48:15.000 Go move on if you find it, let me know.
00:48:17.000 Like, oh, just metaphor for life.
00:48:19.000 And then you go, yeah.
00:48:19.000 You gotta let go or it doesn't work.
00:48:21.000 Sometimes that spin, you're not getting any traction.
00:48:24.000 It's like when you get stuck in snow and you're like...
00:48:25.000 Like, hey, hey, hey.
00:48:28.000 You're gonna blow out your transmission, settle down.
00:48:30.000 Right.
00:48:31.000 Let's figure this out.
00:48:33.000 It was an Alan Watts.
00:48:34.000 I found it.
00:48:35.000 You're talking about a...
00:48:37.000 You found that?
00:48:38.000 Yeah.
00:48:38.000 Sometimes I boil a Pepsi right before bed.
00:48:41.000 Yeah.
00:48:43.000 I can't remember.
00:48:44.000 I still don't remember.
00:48:46.000 I don't know.
00:48:47.000 I can't believe you found that.
00:48:48.000 That's crazy.
00:48:49.000 That's funny.
00:48:50.000 Yeah.
00:48:51.000 It is weird how there's some drinks that traditionally are just warm or cold.
00:48:57.000 That's it.
00:48:59.000 But coffee, you can be both.
00:49:00.000 It can be both.
00:49:01.000 Same with water.
00:49:02.000 You can have an ice water.
00:49:03.000 I mean, hot water, I guess.
00:49:04.000 Yeah, nobody drinks hot water unless it's got flavor in it.
00:49:07.000 I drank hot water last night at the club.
00:49:09.000 By the way, I had a big moment at the club.
00:49:11.000 I have a contribution to the club.
00:49:12.000 You do.
00:49:13.000 Because you have a tea kettle, and there was no tea bags.
00:49:16.000 And then I was sarcastically shitting on the club to Curtis, and then he ratted me out to you.
00:49:21.000 But I just drank a hot water, because it is calming, even if there's nothing in it, to drink warm water.
00:49:26.000 And then somehow, it's a mystery.
00:49:29.000 He left for like 10 minutes and came back with high-end tea.
00:49:33.000 There must be like a store nearby or something.
00:49:36.000 I guess, at 10.30 at night on 6th Street?
00:49:39.000 I don't know.
00:49:40.000 Sixth Street's pretty wild.
00:49:41.000 It was a magic trick.
00:49:42.000 It's an unusual place, man.
00:49:44.000 Have you been there on the weekends?
00:49:45.000 Oh, yeah.
00:49:46.000 I hate it.
00:49:47.000 You close the street down and everybody just walks back and forth?
00:49:50.000 It's the worst place on earth to me.
00:49:52.000 I mean, the club is great, but I'm not joking.
00:49:55.000 We were talking about it before.
00:49:56.000 I jog back to the hotel.
00:49:57.000 It's like a block and a half.
00:49:58.000 It's sketchy.
00:49:59.000 Yeah.
00:50:00.000 But that's part of what I like about it.
00:50:03.000 It's, uh, yeah.
00:50:04.000 It also gives us an opportunity to hire a lot of cops.
00:50:07.000 I love it.
00:50:08.000 Yeah, we got a lot of cops that work there.
00:50:09.000 I love it.
00:50:10.000 You walk 30 feet away and you can see them like, good luck.
00:50:13.000 One guy was like, there's a lot of crackheads around.
00:50:15.000 I'm like, I know about the crackheads!
00:50:17.000 Why don't you just get a car?
00:50:18.000 Because I'm staying like 150 yards away.
00:50:21.000 You can't get a lift.
00:50:22.000 You need it.
00:50:22.000 You need a lift.
00:50:23.000 I mean, I made it.
00:50:24.000 I made it home.
00:50:25.000 Well, tonight we'll drive.
00:50:27.000 Oh, we're not coming tonight.
00:50:27.000 No, I'm off to Vegas.
00:50:28.000 But next time I'll drive you.
00:50:29.000 Alright, I appreciate that.
00:50:30.000 We'll take you on the way.
00:50:31.000 Well, last time I was here, you drove me because I got accosted by the two...
00:50:34.000 No, it wasn't last time.
00:50:35.000 It was like three years ago.
00:50:36.000 Oh, that's right.
00:50:36.000 Yeah, I had two guys.
00:50:37.000 That's right.
00:50:37.000 Guys were fucking with you.
00:50:38.000 Yeah, it was bad.
00:50:39.000 But I also...
00:50:40.000 Were those homeless folks?
00:50:41.000 They were homeless guys, yeah.
00:50:42.000 Yeah.
00:50:43.000 And I also just...
00:50:44.000 Somebody sent me an article that said the Austin police were like, hey, if you get robbed on 6th Street, don't call 911. We can't.
00:50:52.000 It's too much.
00:50:54.000 Call 311. Literally, they're like, call 311 and report it.
00:50:56.000 Like a guy just writes it down in a blog.
00:50:59.000 Ugh.
00:50:59.000 Ugh.
00:51:01.000 I don't know.
00:51:02.000 We need the National Guard down here.
00:51:04.000 They refunded the police out here, though.
00:51:06.000 They defunded the police for a little bit, and then they upped the budget recently.
00:51:10.000 They changed it back.
00:51:11.000 They're like, this is not working.
00:51:12.000 And all the wealthy people that live around here were freaking out, I guess.
00:51:16.000 Yeah, I mean, I told this story on stage the other night, but I was here for Moon Tower, and, you know, it's just...
00:51:22.000 I'm joking a little bit.
00:51:24.000 It's not.
00:51:24.000 You can come walk around 6th Street, but it's wild.
00:51:26.000 And I said to some woman, she was like a volunteer, I was like, it's fucking crazy out there.
00:51:29.000 And she went, oh, where are you from?
00:51:31.000 And I was like, New York City.
00:51:34.000 I'm not like some fucking hayseed.
00:51:36.000 I live in New York.
00:51:37.000 Like, this is unusual out here.
00:51:39.000 There's like people with machetes and tire irons walking around.
00:51:42.000 That one street.
00:51:44.000 Yeah.
00:51:45.000 Yeah.
00:51:45.000 Like Brazos and Six.
00:51:48.000 But the crazy thing is that that's the area that we got.
00:51:51.000 But when we were there, it just felt like it was supposed to be there.
00:51:57.000 Like, I was trying to convince myself of the cult house.
00:52:00.000 When the cult house, when I was walking around, I was like, yeah, we could do this, and we could do that, and we could have a separate parking lot for the comics.
00:52:08.000 That's cool.
00:52:09.000 We got a lot of it, because we had like eight acres.
00:52:11.000 I'm like, look at this view we'll have out the back.
00:52:13.000 We could hang out here and party.
00:52:15.000 Look at this green room.
00:52:16.000 We'll blow out these walls.
00:52:17.000 Turn to this immense green room.
00:52:19.000 I had all these great plans.
00:52:21.000 Yeah.
00:52:21.000 It would have worked.
00:52:22.000 It definitely would have worked.
00:52:24.000 Of course.
00:52:24.000 But that place had a lot of...
00:52:26.000 There's a lot of issues to be resolved, including stuff that was like...
00:52:30.000 It could be a real problem for me.
00:52:32.000 And so I was like, all right, this isn't going to work.
00:52:36.000 Let me find another spot.
00:52:38.000 And then it was like...
00:52:40.000 I looked at four or five different locations, and they were pretty good, and I was trying to talk myself into them, and then I got to that place, and I was like, oh, shit.
00:52:49.000 I was like, this is it.
00:52:50.000 This is it.
00:52:51.000 I'm like, we gotta make this happen.
00:52:52.000 No, it's where it should be, and it's magical, and it's now like a cornerstone of the neighborhood, it feels like.
00:52:59.000 Yeah, it just felt like it was supposed to happen, like, while you're in there.
00:53:03.000 And even, like, people ask me if it was stressful.
00:53:05.000 It wasn't really stressful.
00:53:07.000 Everybody that was working on the project other than me, it was amazing.
00:53:11.000 And so they all did a great job, so I didn't stress about that.
00:53:15.000 And I was just like, it's out of my hands.
00:53:18.000 Let's just do everything that you're supposed to do.
00:53:21.000 It would be best if we did this.
00:53:24.000 Do that.
00:53:25.000 Whatever it is, do that then.
00:53:27.000 This is going to take more time, it's going to cost more money, but let's do it.
00:53:30.000 Like, dude, let's do that.
00:53:31.000 We need a UFO in the front lobby.
00:53:34.000 A fucking actual flying saucer.
00:53:36.000 Right, right, right.
00:53:36.000 And I want it to be a projection that shoots a projection on the screen of who's coming next.
00:53:41.000 So we have, like, these posters of what comedians are coming up.
00:53:45.000 And you did it.
00:53:46.000 Yeah, it's just, it took a long time, but I really feel like it wanted to be made.
00:53:52.000 Right.
00:53:52.000 I feel like, like, it literally wanted me to create it.
00:53:57.000 You want to hear a suggestion for the club?
00:53:59.000 Yes.
00:54:00.000 You really?
00:54:00.000 Yeah, sure.
00:54:01.000 But right behind the big stage, there's some space back there where you're waiting.
00:54:05.000 Yeah.
00:54:06.000 A toilet.
00:54:07.000 So you can take a shit right before you go on.
00:54:09.000 Because the only toilet is right outside.
00:54:11.000 I was in there.
00:54:12.000 I had to shit.
00:54:12.000 I was like, I'm holding it.
00:54:13.000 There's a line.
00:54:14.000 Tony Hinchcliffe's knocking on the door.
00:54:16.000 That's a big ask.
00:54:17.000 Because you've got to get plumbing back down through there.
00:54:20.000 Just a suggestion, not an ask.
00:54:21.000 Because I don't think there's enough room, either.
00:54:23.000 That's a small space.
00:54:25.000 Because you're going to...
00:54:26.000 Maybe I'm wrong.
00:54:27.000 Because like Monday night, there was 25 people in the green room and one toilet.
00:54:30.000 I was like, this is no good.
00:54:32.000 But that's Monday night.
00:54:34.000 Monday night is like, they have way too many people up in there.
00:54:36.000 It was wild.
00:54:37.000 It's just too goofy.
00:54:38.000 But on a normal night, that's not the case.
00:54:41.000 But yeah, that's not...
00:54:43.000 But then there's the downstairs toilets too.
00:54:45.000 Okay.
00:54:45.000 You know, there's the public toilets.
00:54:48.000 Come on, Joe.
00:54:49.000 I'm not going to a public toilet.
00:54:50.000 They're all clean.
00:54:50.000 They're all good.
00:54:51.000 Do you know who I am?
00:54:52.000 I do know who you are.
00:54:53.000 You're Joe List from New York.
00:54:53.000 I've been on the Joe Rogan experience.
00:54:55.000 You're from New York City.
00:54:55.000 I don't shit.
00:54:56.000 You were in that Louis C.K. movie.
00:54:57.000 I don't shit.
00:54:58.000 It's a Joe List movie.
00:55:01.000 Just kidding.
00:55:02.000 He's going to hear that.
00:55:03.000 He's going to be mad.
00:55:03.000 I'm only joking.
00:55:05.000 I think maybe that is a good idea.
00:55:09.000 Somewhere.
00:55:10.000 I heard rumbling.
00:55:11.000 I'm trying to think where it could be.
00:55:13.000 There was a young lady that was nervous to shit with you waiting.
00:55:18.000 Everyone's worst nightmare is they're in the bathroom brushing their teeth and Joe Rogan can't use the bathroom.
00:55:24.000 Yeah, we should have had a better setup with that.
00:55:30.000 Maybe we can do that.
00:55:31.000 Maybe we can have a bathroom right next to the stage.
00:55:34.000 Hey, I'm just throwing out suggestions.
00:55:36.000 Maybe we should leave a heroin spoon in there too.
00:55:37.000 Absolutely.
00:55:39.000 Just symbolic for Stevie.
00:55:41.000 Let it happen.
00:55:42.000 Yeah, he was a big heroin guy, but he cleaned up.
00:55:45.000 Allegedly.
00:55:46.000 Yeah, I believe he did, right?
00:55:47.000 Yeah.
00:55:47.000 Did he?
00:55:48.000 He cleaned up, and I think his, like, you can find his, like, AA speaks on, or speaks?
00:55:55.000 Speeches, qualification, whatever you call it, on YouTube.
00:55:58.000 Heroin and music, boy.
00:56:01.000 How many fucking amazing musicians were heroin users?
00:56:04.000 Isn't it unbelievable?
00:56:05.000 I tried to do this as a joke, it never worked, but I'm like, Keith Richards is playing, he's like soloing on heroin.
00:56:11.000 Like, I take a Tylenol PM and I can't read anymore.
00:56:14.000 I'm like, I gotta lay down.
00:56:15.000 I mean, it's unbelievable that these guys can shoot heroin and play guitars.
00:56:20.000 Did he shoot it?
00:56:21.000 Did Keith shoot it, or did he snort it?
00:56:23.000 Like, how did he do his heroin?
00:56:25.000 I don't know.
00:56:26.000 I don't know either.
00:56:26.000 But, whoever, I mean, name whoever else.
00:56:29.000 I mean, I'm sure, you know, Cobain, all those guys.
00:56:32.000 I mean, so many guys.
00:56:33.000 It's just, but I never did heroin.
00:56:35.000 I don't know what it's like to be on heroin.
00:56:36.000 But in my mind, I didn't do a lot of big drugs.
00:56:39.000 I bumped into a friend of mine at Skankfest, and he was like, I'm on acid right now.
00:56:44.000 And in my mind...
00:56:46.000 Acid, you're not like, oh hey, it's Joe List, how you doing?
00:56:48.000 I'd picture like, there's a fucking lizard walking at me, but I guess it's not really like that.
00:56:54.000 Well, it depends on the dose.
00:56:55.000 Right.
00:56:56.000 You know, you can get some serious reality dissolving doses.
00:57:00.000 Sure.
00:57:00.000 I think of acid as like you go in the woods or you look at the Jefferson Airplane video or whatever, not you're walking around a festival communicating with people.
00:57:07.000 Yeah, you queue up Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz.
00:57:12.000 Yes.
00:57:13.000 Which is fun to do, by the way.
00:57:14.000 It's crazy that it works.
00:57:16.000 Roger Waters said it's a total coincidence.
00:57:20.000 Yeah, I mean, it seems coincidental, but it's fucking cool.
00:57:23.000 But it's insane how good it is.
00:57:24.000 Like, when you sync it up perfectly, it really does seem like it's a soundtrack to the movie.
00:57:30.000 It's a lot of fun.
00:57:31.000 Great album, great film.
00:57:33.000 But how does something like that happen, where the synchronicity is so perfect?
00:57:38.000 I don't know.
00:57:40.000 Why, do you have a theory?
00:57:40.000 I don't know.
00:57:41.000 Or do you think it's just worked out that way?
00:57:42.000 I think there's more to the world than physical things.
00:57:49.000 I really do.
00:57:50.000 I just think we're skeptical of that because we can't measure it.
00:57:54.000 I think there's more to the world.
00:57:56.000 There's more connections in the world than we would like to imagine because I think they'd be overwhelming.
00:58:02.000 But I think there's connections with your very mind.
00:58:05.000 I think your mind and the world interact with each other in a way that changes the world and changes your mind.
00:58:12.000 I think...
00:58:13.000 I think sometimes there's, like, evidence of that in just these weird, unique ways.
00:58:20.000 Like, two ideas converge together, and even though it's completely coincidental that Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz Was it Dark Side of the Moon, right?
00:58:33.000 Yeah.
00:58:33.000 That they sync up absolutely perfectly.
00:58:35.000 But maybe it's not.
00:58:36.000 Maybe it's the universe saying, look.
00:58:39.000 Look at this cute little Easter egg.
00:58:42.000 Look at this cute little tidbit.
00:58:44.000 We're showing you that this is not a logical universe.
00:58:46.000 There's some weird stuff to it.
00:58:49.000 Super weird stuff.
00:58:50.000 But some of it also feels like the confirmation bias.
00:58:54.000 Like you're told these go together, so you're watching, and they do feel like they go together, but some of it you're like, oh, the lion and that sound.
00:59:01.000 But you're kind of just...
00:59:02.000 Listen, let's play it.
00:59:04.000 Play Dark Side.
00:59:05.000 Show a Dark Side of the Moon connected with Wizard of Oz.
00:59:10.000 When you actually see, like, I used to think that too.
00:59:13.000 Like, all these hippies are trying to find fucking connections and anything.
00:59:16.000 Fucking potheads.
00:59:18.000 You know?
00:59:18.000 Trying to be skeptical.
00:59:19.000 And then I watched it, I was like, oh.
00:59:21.000 Oh my god, this is crazy.
00:59:23.000 I mean, I haven't done it since high school, but it was fun.
00:59:25.000 And it's also interesting who the first person to do it was.
00:59:27.000 I'm sure that information is somewhere.
00:59:29.000 I mean...
00:59:30.000 But when you actually see it, the connection is insane.
00:59:33.000 It's so good.
00:59:34.000 It really does seem like that's what happened.
00:59:37.000 Like they made it for it.
00:59:39.000 Wizard of Oz rules.
00:59:40.000 Great film.
00:59:41.000 When's the last time you watched it?
00:59:42.000 A long time ago.
00:59:43.000 One of the funniest scenes ever is when the cowardly lion runs and jumps out of a fucking window.
00:59:47.000 It's like one of the great comedic scenes.
00:59:49.000 He gets scared of the wizard and he fucking runs and dives out the window.
00:59:52.000 It's very funny.
00:59:54.000 Funny guy.
00:59:56.000 And the special effects were dog shit.
00:59:59.000 Yeah.
01:00:00.000 Boy, 1930-whatever it was.
01:00:02.000 39. I found a chunk.
01:00:03.000 This is just a part of it.
01:00:04.000 That's all we do.
01:00:06.000 Here.
01:00:09.000 I thought it started later.
01:00:11.000 No, this isn't where it starts, this is just where it cuts in.
01:00:13.000 This is time.
01:00:15.000 And this is perfect, too, because it's such a great song.
01:00:28.000 I love that this is the TBS version.
01:00:32.000 Look at the way the sound ends.
01:00:35.000 The timing of it.
01:00:39.000 Right?
01:00:39.000 Right when she arrives at the gate, the loud bells stop.
01:00:45.000 Right.
01:00:45.000 And she's talking, and it's about to begin.
01:00:50.000 She walks out when the music hits.
01:00:52.000 Dude, it's wild.
01:00:57.000 And now you see the conflict, right?
01:00:59.000 She turned her head at the exact moment.
01:01:01.000 Yeah.
01:01:02.000 So there's this conflict.
01:01:03.000 The pause, she goes to the other guy.
01:01:06.000 Another pause, she goes to the other lady.
01:01:08.000 Right.
01:01:09.000 I mean, it's time perfect.
01:01:14.000 Man, this song rules.
01:01:16.000 This song fucking rules.
01:01:18.000 Now watch this.
01:01:20.000 As the buildup happens, like the tension increases in the scene, people are getting more frantic.
01:01:27.000 Women wear gloves back then, bro.
01:01:31.000 They're working it out.
01:01:43.000 She's trying to get her to put the dog in the basket.
01:01:46.000 Fuck you, bitch.
01:01:47.000 It puts the dog in the basket or it gets the hose again.
01:01:49.000 Here it is.
01:01:50.000 Now watch.
01:01:55.000 It's crazy how well the timing is.
01:02:07.000 They're taking our little dog away, man.
01:02:16.000 You cunt.
01:02:17.000 You fucking fat cunt.
01:02:19.000 That's the witch, bro.
01:02:22.000 Now watch this here.
01:02:24.000 Taking away the moments to take up a dull day.
01:02:31.000 Fringe are in waves.
01:02:33.000 The owls are in an offhand way.
01:02:43.000 Go Toto!
01:02:54.000 That's nice.
01:03:08.000 Listen, you can obviously say that it's coincidental in some parts, but god damn.
01:03:13.000 And that's just one piece.
01:03:15.000 Through the whole movie, there's scenes like that.
01:03:17.000 It just syncs up and syncs up and syncs up.
01:03:21.000 It's fun.
01:03:22.000 It's fun.
01:03:22.000 And back before the internet, it was perfect, because you could just say, this is what it was.
01:03:27.000 They did the music to The Wizard of Oz.
01:03:29.000 Right.
01:03:30.000 Yeah, it's fun.
01:03:31.000 Wizard of Oz, don't you think it's the most referenced film ever?
01:03:34.000 Like, deep in our...
01:03:36.000 Kids know references.
01:03:38.000 They've never even seen the movie.
01:03:39.000 Like, you see someone on a bike, people go like...
01:03:41.000 Like, your little dog, too.
01:03:44.000 There's no place like home.
01:03:45.000 There's so many references that just live in the psyche from a film that came out 100 years ago, almost.
01:03:50.000 Right.
01:03:51.000 It's the most seen film in movie history.
01:03:53.000 Wow.
01:03:54.000 According to the Library of Congress.
01:03:56.000 All right.
01:03:57.000 I'd buy that.
01:03:58.000 The movie's seen and heard.
01:03:59.000 What's number two?
01:04:02.000 Let's try to think of it.
01:04:03.000 The Barbie movie.
01:04:07.000 I want to try to think.
01:04:09.000 Maybe...
01:04:09.000 It's got to be like Snow White or some...
01:04:12.000 Bambi?
01:04:13.000 Something like that?
01:04:15.000 Conan.
01:04:16.000 Conan the Barbarian?
01:04:18.000 No.
01:04:19.000 IMDB has a different list order.
01:04:22.000 Oh, what's IMDB's number one of all time?
01:04:24.000 I was thinking Titanic would have to have been up there.
01:04:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:04:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:04:27.000 It has to be.
01:04:27.000 What about Avatar?
01:04:28.000 And then it has E.T. as number two.
01:04:30.000 Oh, wow.
01:04:31.000 E.T.'s big.
01:04:32.000 So, Titanic's number one?
01:04:33.000 According to IMDb.
01:04:36.000 Is that box office or just...
01:04:37.000 It says watched.
01:04:38.000 I typed in watched.
01:04:39.000 I actually typed in most seen movie.
01:04:41.000 I typed in the exact same thing it said.
01:04:43.000 And it says most watched movies of all time.
01:04:45.000 Because it's a different qualification because Wizard of Oz has been around for...
01:04:48.000 It came out in 39. So you have all those...
01:04:52.000 People, but Wizard of Oz is great, and she was supposed to be like a 12-year-old.
01:04:57.000 You know, they were like tying her tits down and everything.
01:04:59.000 Jesus.
01:05:00.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
01:05:00.000 She was supposed to be 12, and they were taping her tits down, and evidently the little people were like, you know, harassing her and grabbing her pussy and stuff.
01:05:09.000 Jesus Christ.
01:05:09.000 Yeah, it's crazy stories.
01:05:11.000 People were horrible back then.
01:05:12.000 Yeah.
01:05:12.000 Did you ever see Shirley Temple?
01:05:16.000 Like any of the old Shirley Temple stuff?
01:05:17.000 Just clips.
01:05:18.000 I've never like sat and watched a Shirley Temple film.
01:05:20.000 It's bizarre.
01:05:23.000 She was massive, right?
01:05:25.000 Yeah, she's massive, but here's what's bizarre.
01:05:28.000 There's scenes where, I mean, she's a little girl, and she's on an airplane with a bunch of men.
01:05:35.000 And these men can't stop looking at her.
01:05:38.000 She's sitting on their laps.
01:05:40.000 What is that?
01:05:41.000 Was that the Good Ship Lollipop that she was singing?
01:05:45.000 Yeah.
01:05:45.000 Wait till you see this.
01:05:47.000 And she was really young, you know?
01:05:48.000 And this is what happened to her when she's, you know, I don't know how old she was.
01:05:51.000 Was she like eight or nine?
01:05:52.000 That's a good question.
01:05:53.000 I think younger than that when she first started.
01:05:56.000 She looks really young.
01:05:57.000 Oh, she looks like she's four.
01:05:59.000 Oh, yeah.
01:06:02.000 She's younger than I thought she was.
01:06:05.000 Watch this.
01:06:14.000 I've thrown away my toys Even my drum and trains I want to make some noise With real life in a role play Someday I'm going to fly I'll be a pilot too.
01:06:36.000 And when I do, how would you like to be my crew?
01:06:44.000 Oh boy.
01:06:45.000 Look at this.
01:06:46.000 On the good ship, lollipop, it's a sweet trip to a candy shop where bonbons play.
01:06:56.000 On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay.
01:07:03.000 How weird is this?
01:07:05.000 It's a little odd.
01:07:11.000 Fast forward to the lap dance scene.
01:07:15.000 Oh my god, I was joking.
01:07:17.000 Yeah.
01:07:17.000 That's fucking crazy.
01:07:18.000 So, hold on.
01:07:23.000 And now they're all carrying her.
01:07:27.000 Oh no!
01:07:28.000 Oh Jesus.
01:07:33.000 She's all coked up.
01:07:35.000 What was that they put on her nose?
01:07:39.000 What was that?
01:07:40.000 I don't know.
01:07:41.000 They're giving her toys now.
01:07:49.000 Oh Jesus!
01:07:51.000 Bro, how weird is that?
01:07:53.000 It's a little strange.
01:07:54.000 I mean, it's always fascinating that her parents were like, yeah, yeah.
01:07:57.000 Yeah, carry around, guys.
01:07:59.000 My friend Matt Wayne, he's a great comic.
01:08:01.000 He's my opener.
01:08:01.000 He does a bit about, like, you have to be, I think it's like 10 days old to appear in film.
01:08:07.000 And he went to, he really went to a screening of A Quiet Place Part 2, and they had a special guest at the appearance, and it was the fucking baby.
01:08:16.000 Like, they just held up a, whatever, three-month-old baby, or maybe the baby was a year and a half at that point, and was like, here it is, here's the baby.
01:08:23.000 I mean, it's really fascinating to have a baby and be like, take my baby.
01:08:27.000 And he says, Jim from The Office, just take my baby.
01:08:30.000 It's a great bit.
01:08:31.000 That is weird.
01:08:31.000 But it's really...
01:08:33.000 Ah, these people that are like, absolutely, just have a baby.
01:08:36.000 Use my baby in the movie.
01:08:37.000 Yeah, walk around with my baby.
01:08:38.000 That's our Cheryl up there on that screen.
01:08:40.000 It's fucking...
01:08:41.000 And the aliens are eating the other folks.
01:08:43.000 It's strange.
01:08:43.000 I mean, I guess somebody has to do it.
01:08:45.000 You've got to have babies in film.
01:08:47.000 Because remember they did American Sniper and famously there was the fake baby.
01:08:50.000 Yeah, you got busted with a fake baby.
01:08:52.000 It was really bad.
01:08:54.000 People got mad.
01:08:55.000 They got mad at the fake baby.
01:08:57.000 I mean, it did look ridiculous.
01:09:00.000 I don't remember how bad it looked.
01:09:01.000 It wasn't good.
01:09:02.000 Let's find it.
01:09:03.000 It's not good.
01:09:05.000 Not a great film, in my opinion, but the baby, with or without the baby.
01:09:12.000 It doesn't look horrible there.
01:09:13.000 Oh my god, it did look so horrible.
01:09:16.000 No, one more time.
01:09:17.000 Watch it from the beginning.
01:09:18.000 Come on, watch this.
01:09:19.000 It's so fake!
01:09:20.000 Look how fake that looks.
01:09:23.000 Look.
01:09:24.000 I mean, it's just lifeless.
01:09:26.000 Yeah.
01:09:29.000 Yeah, the arms aren't moving.
01:09:32.000 Oh, he's moving it with his thumb!
01:09:34.000 Ah!
01:09:35.000 You think we're stupid?
01:09:36.000 That's hilarious.
01:09:37.000 You think we're stupid?
01:09:38.000 They must have been like, just do a little thumb thing.
01:09:41.000 Yeah.
01:09:45.000 That is great.
01:09:47.000 It almost looks like he's looking like, does this work?
01:09:49.000 He's doing puppetry.
01:09:51.000 He's doing super high-level puppetry in a movie.
01:09:54.000 Poor guy.
01:09:55.000 I mean, it's like puppetry that the whole world's gonna see.
01:10:00.000 Would you hand your baby to a movie star?
01:10:03.000 Fuck out of here.
01:10:04.000 I don't think they should use kids in movies.
01:10:07.000 I mean, I guess you've got to at some point, right?
01:10:10.000 Every kid that I've ever met, bar none, that was famous when they were young is fucked up.
01:10:17.000 Yeah, it's not good.
01:10:18.000 I mean, most people get fucked up, most adults get fucked up from fame, let alone a child.
01:10:22.000 Yeah, this is what I think it's like.
01:10:23.000 I think it's like making cement.
01:10:25.000 See, when you make cement, you need to put the right amount of water, the right amount of grit, the right amount of all that stuff, you mix it all together.
01:10:33.000 But if you have, like, not enough water from the beginning, your cement's bullshit.
01:10:40.000 And it's never gonna get better.
01:10:41.000 You can't add water later.
01:10:42.000 Right.
01:10:43.000 That's what it's like when some people get famous young.
01:10:46.000 They didn't develop into an actual human being.
01:10:50.000 They developed into a famous person.
01:10:52.000 So the path that they took is so alien to everybody else on Earth that no one can relate to them other than other little famous kids.
01:11:04.000 And they're all fucked up too.
01:11:05.000 Yeah.
01:11:06.000 No, and then you have money and a weird sense of ego that you're like, I'm a star.
01:11:13.000 You're not prepped to handle that.
01:11:15.000 Yeah, I mean, some of them are working through it.
01:11:19.000 Like, I had Demi Moore on the show.
01:11:21.000 She's working through it, you know?
01:11:23.000 How young was she when she became famous?
01:11:25.000 Very young.
01:11:26.000 Oh, really?
01:11:27.000 Demi Lovato.
01:11:27.000 Yeah.
01:11:27.000 Demi Lovato.
01:11:28.000 What did I say?
01:11:28.000 Demi Moore?
01:11:29.000 I did.
01:11:30.000 Oh, I was like, no kidding.
01:11:32.000 Sorry, Demi Moore.
01:11:34.000 That's hilarious.
01:11:35.000 I was like, oh, what a Freudian.
01:11:36.000 I was up late last night.
01:11:38.000 My apologies.
01:11:38.000 Because she was young, but not that.
01:11:40.000 I was like...
01:11:40.000 So, Demi Lovato.
01:11:42.000 Sorry.
01:11:42.000 I don't think I know who that is.
01:11:45.000 She's a singer.
01:11:46.000 Yeah.
01:11:47.000 Actress.
01:11:47.000 I'm a boomer, man.
01:11:48.000 She was in the Mickey Mouse Club, right?
01:11:51.000 Wasn't she?
01:11:52.000 Maybe Disney.
01:11:52.000 I don't know about Mickey Mouse for sure.
01:11:53.000 She was definitely a Disney girl.
01:11:55.000 Barney.
01:11:56.000 Yeah.
01:11:59.000 And Miley Cyrus.
01:12:00.000 She's another one that I've talked to that has a similar experience.
01:12:04.000 She was on Hannah Montana.
01:12:05.000 She was super young and she was a fucking superstar.
01:12:08.000 Not familiar?
01:12:09.000 This is Demi Lovato?
01:12:10.000 Yeah.
01:12:10.000 I want to congratulate Demi Lovato on taking back her gender.
01:12:14.000 She's no longer non-binary.
01:12:16.000 Sorry, I've got to go to airplane mode.
01:12:17.000 I have a new phone.
01:12:18.000 I don't know how to get the notifications off.
01:12:20.000 I'm just vibrating over here.
01:12:23.000 Really?
01:12:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12:24.000 You go to sounds, right?
01:12:25.000 I thought...
01:12:25.000 No, no.
01:12:26.000 You don't have to go to all that stupid shit.
01:12:27.000 All right.
01:12:28.000 You swipe down from the top, right?
01:12:29.000 And then you go to this right here.
01:12:30.000 Do not disturb.
01:12:32.000 Oh.
01:12:32.000 Bam.
01:12:32.000 Beautiful.
01:12:33.000 And you won't get any text messages until you swipe back and go and get it.
01:12:36.000 I'll show you how to do that later.
01:12:37.000 Thank you.
01:12:37.000 I appreciate it.
01:12:38.000 Very easy.
01:12:39.000 I'm like 100 years old.
01:12:40.000 Upper right corner.
01:12:40.000 Swipe down.
01:12:41.000 Beautiful.
01:12:42.000 Not hard.
01:12:43.000 I know.
01:12:43.000 Well, I'm...
01:12:44.000 But anyway, no.
01:12:46.000 You can't use my fucking baby in your stupid movie.
01:12:48.000 Yeah.
01:12:49.000 Can't they make a CGI baby?
01:12:51.000 They can make dragons.
01:12:52.000 Look at the Game of Thrones dragons.
01:12:54.000 You can't make a fucking baby.
01:12:56.000 Yeah, it feels like you could do that.
01:12:58.000 And now deleted tweet.
01:12:59.000 American Sniper screenwriter Jason Hall wrote that director Clint Eastwood opted for the fake baby after the first child selected for the sequence became ill and a second baby failed to show up on set.
01:13:11.000 So we had to go with the fake baby.
01:13:13.000 Maybe the parents had a change of heart.
01:13:15.000 Maybe they called their mother and was like, you can't fucking drop your baby off to Clint Eastwood.
01:13:20.000 He's too old.
01:13:21.000 My feeling is they should have shot that scene differently.
01:13:24.000 If you're going to use a fake baby, you have...
01:13:27.000 Not telling Clint Eastwood how to make a movie, but...
01:13:30.000 You have this guy reach in and pick up the baby and then you shoot him from the chest up.
01:13:37.000 Right.
01:13:37.000 Except for a rare, like, American werewolf in London glimpsed of the baby.
01:13:42.000 So you have to like go back over, look how fake that looks.
01:13:45.000 Bradley Cooper on American fake baby scene.
01:13:47.000 I couldn't believe we were doing it.
01:13:49.000 I was like, this is nuts.
01:13:52.000 Oh, the poor guy.
01:13:54.000 Imagine, and he's like a top-of-the-food-chain actor.
01:13:58.000 They're making him do puppetry with a fake baby.
01:14:01.000 I mean...
01:14:03.000 It just takes you totally out of the movie.
01:14:06.000 Of course.
01:14:06.000 That's a doll.
01:14:08.000 That sucks.
01:14:09.000 But if he shot it differently, it wouldn't.
01:14:12.000 If he shot it differently, like the lady's got the baby, she's holding onto the baby, his back enters the scene, he's bundling into his arms, next thing you see it's him shot up.
01:14:23.000 You don't see the baby, you see him holding this, obviously he's holding the baby in his arms, but you look in his face.
01:14:30.000 Right.
01:14:30.000 I guess they wanted to show this killer with the baby.
01:14:35.000 He can't show a fake baby!
01:14:37.000 It's really bad.
01:14:37.000 And that was not even one...
01:14:39.000 I remember being in the theater being like, what?
01:14:41.000 It wasn't even one that you find out later.
01:14:43.000 There's so many movie moments where you're like, the stunt double has a mustache and he doesn't.
01:14:47.000 And then you look close and you're like, oh shit, which is a bunch of those, which are always fun.
01:14:51.000 There was a famous one on Flashdance.
01:14:55.000 The woman doing the audition dance, it wasn't a woman, they had a man do it, but he refused to shave his mustache, and there's a moment, you can freeze frame, I'm sure you can find it, where you just see, I forget the actress's name, I'm a maniac, that whole thing, and she has a fucking,
01:15:11.000 it's a guy with a mustache, because he wouldn't shave it, and they were just like, alright, we'll just go with it.
01:15:15.000 It's a guy that was doing that?
01:15:16.000 Yeah, I'm pretty, I mean, I'm I hope this is true.
01:15:20.000 I'm going to feel like an ass if I just was told this.
01:15:22.000 I remember seeing it, though.
01:15:25.000 I swear.
01:15:26.000 Jamie, come on.
01:15:26.000 Come through, baby.
01:15:28.000 This might be tough.
01:15:29.000 You found my bit.
01:15:30.000 You found my boiling Pepsi bit.
01:15:32.000 There's no way.
01:15:33.000 Flashdance mustache.
01:15:35.000 Maybe.
01:15:36.000 She's a maniac.
01:15:38.000 Maniac.
01:15:40.000 There's that one, and then there's the other great song from the woman that just died.
01:15:43.000 What's the other great fucking song on there?
01:15:46.000 It's a...
01:15:47.000 First when there's nothing but a dull aching dream.
01:15:53.000 Oh, yeah.
01:15:55.000 Oh, I see what it is.
01:15:55.000 Take your passion and make it happen.
01:15:58.000 It's not the whole dance that was happening.
01:16:00.000 Irene Cara.
01:16:01.000 Irene Cara, yeah, she just died, I think.
01:16:03.000 But that song rules.
01:16:05.000 Yeah.
01:16:05.000 I'm gay.
01:16:06.000 Hey!
01:16:10.000 There was a weird time where those kind of movies were very popular, very musical dramas about people that are just talented and they're going to make it.
01:16:19.000 Of course.
01:16:20.000 And they're wearing scarves and they're from the rough side of town, but they get together and shine.
01:16:25.000 But doesn't that song get you as somebody that pursued a dream?
01:16:28.000 I listen to that song and I'm like, this is me, baby.
01:16:30.000 I took my passion and made it happen.
01:16:32.000 You made it happen.
01:16:33.000 Fucking right, man.
01:16:34.000 Do you want to live forever?
01:16:35.000 I don't want to live forever.
01:16:36.000 I mean, I want to live forever, but I'd like to live in this state for a long time.
01:16:40.000 I've been thinking about this, talking about this a lot lately.
01:16:43.000 Living forever?
01:16:44.000 I think if heaven's real, if heaven's real, and I was the devil, you know what I would do?
01:16:51.000 I'd convince people that they should extend their life.
01:16:55.000 I'd convince people that they can live forever.
01:16:58.000 I'd convince people to transplant their soul into a machine where they would be trapped for eternity.
01:17:05.000 If you could just trick them.
01:17:07.000 Right.
01:17:07.000 Imagine if heaven's real.
01:17:09.000 Imagine if you die one day and you're like, oh my God, it's real.
01:17:13.000 It's not like a dude in the clouds and a guy with a book.
01:17:17.000 It's like, what'd you do when you were in seventh grade?
01:17:18.000 You lied to your mom.
01:17:22.000 So what is it?
01:17:23.000 What is heaven then?
01:17:24.000 What if it's just some other realm where you're disembodied?
01:17:29.000 Disembodied from your physical being, but you live in a realm of pure consciousness.
01:17:35.000 Just pure consciousness interacting with other consciousness.
01:17:40.000 It's just geometry, just patterns.
01:17:45.000 What if that's where you're supposed to be?
01:17:48.000 That's great.
01:17:49.000 But what if this place just gets increasingly more dystopian?
01:17:55.000 And as life goes on, you signed up to live forever, but now life is suck!
01:18:01.000 It's just suck.
01:18:03.000 It's just everybody's eating insect burgers and all your time is monitored by the great overlord powers of the world economic forum which controls the earth.
01:18:14.000 You're cooked up to some grid and you have to be attached to it in labor for X amount of hours per day in order to be fed and housed.
01:18:23.000 This sounds similar to reality.
01:18:25.000 Yeah, but what if it keeps getting worse?
01:18:27.000 It might keep getting worse.
01:18:28.000 What if that's really what hell is?
01:18:30.000 What if hell is the trick that you're scared to die, so you sign up to be a part of this cyborg program, and you literally lose your soul?
01:18:41.000 Your soul gets transplanted into a machine forever, and it's the devil's trick.
01:18:45.000 And it's just you looking at TikTok all day.
01:18:47.000 Just fucking dark web.
01:18:48.000 And the problem is, I would never consider that as a possibility because there's so many loons that run around telling you the devil is crafty and the devil has plans for you!
01:18:59.000 And you're like, sure he does.
01:19:00.000 Okay, it's the devil.
01:19:02.000 Right.
01:19:02.000 But what if it is the devil?
01:19:03.000 And what if one of the ways the devil gets you to think that the devil's stupid is that a bunch of stupid people believe in the devil.
01:19:10.000 Now, does he have horns in the tail and stuff?
01:19:12.000 Like...
01:19:13.000 A fiery guy?
01:19:14.000 Because that's always amusing to me.
01:19:16.000 I bet...
01:19:18.000 I bet he can look any way he wants.
01:19:22.000 I mean, if he's got the power to manipulate all of mankind, we're assuming that it's real.
01:19:26.000 Right, he's like T-1000.
01:19:27.000 Yeah.
01:19:28.000 Or T-2000, whatever it is.
01:19:29.000 No, much more complicated than that.
01:19:31.000 It's literally, like, tempting you to do the wrong thing all the time.
01:19:36.000 What if that's, like, a real thing?
01:19:37.000 Like, a real force in the universe?
01:19:40.000 And it's not just the...
01:19:42.000 The problems with human biology and the desire to spread your DNA and tribal warfare and people stealing resources from other people so that their DNA would survive and the other ones wouldn't, which is what it's been for all of human history,
01:19:57.000 all the warring and all the...
01:19:59.000 Thievery and all the horrible shit that people have done to each other.
01:20:02.000 It's all like a survival thing.
01:20:03.000 It's like it's all programmed in like that.
01:20:05.000 You're freaking me out, Jomer.
01:20:06.000 Yeah.
01:20:07.000 You're losing me.
01:20:07.000 I'm getting nervous.
01:20:09.000 You should be.
01:20:10.000 You should be a little nervous.
01:20:11.000 Like what if the trap, the big ultimate trap, is downloading your consciousness into something?
01:20:19.000 Right.
01:20:20.000 Like what if the soul actually can be contained?
01:20:25.000 Like, what if there's a way to actually put it into something?
01:20:28.000 Like, we think of the soul as being, you know, like, if you believe in it at all, you think your soul leaves your body when you die.
01:20:36.000 But what if you can suck it out of your body before you die, lock it up in a Ken doll?
01:20:41.000 I would love for someone to try to suck my soul out via the cock.
01:20:46.000 But what you described as consciousness and just interacting with other consciousness, that is reality, is it not?
01:20:52.000 Or what if...
01:20:55.000 You can make duplicates of your consciousness.
01:20:58.000 What kind of a hell would that be?
01:21:01.000 What if you just couldn't help it, like one of them ladies that has big giant fake butts?
01:21:05.000 What if you just kept making more and more duplicates?
01:21:08.000 What if Donald Trump got a hold of the duplicates of your consciousness machine?
01:21:13.000 And they said, Donald, do you know how well you would dominate the world if there was a million of you?
01:21:19.000 All working together in sync?
01:21:22.000 This is, I mean, literally the worst nightmare.
01:21:25.000 A million?
01:21:26.000 We can do a million?
01:21:27.000 We can do a billion!
01:21:27.000 Someone else might say, a million's enough?
01:21:30.000 I would say it's not.
01:21:31.000 There's eight billion people.
01:21:32.000 Why aren't there eight billion Trumps?
01:21:34.000 And so, you have eight billion of you?
01:21:37.000 If you have money, you just keep making duplicates of your consciousness and sending it out there?
01:21:43.000 That'd be crazy.
01:21:45.000 That's all I have for this one.
01:21:47.000 We're going to reach a point, like we were talking about changing your structure, using genetics.
01:21:53.000 They're going to do that.
01:21:54.000 And they're also going to merge.
01:21:56.000 People are going to merge with machines.
01:21:58.000 It's going to happen in our life.
01:22:00.000 Do you think?
01:22:02.000 100%.
01:22:02.000 100%.
01:22:04.000 They're already working on it.
01:22:06.000 The doorway to it is going to be helping people with neurological conditions, injuries, spinal cord injuries.
01:22:13.000 People can't move their muscles correctly.
01:22:17.000 I feel like people are just going to have robots that they work with.
01:22:23.000 For a while, at least, before they merge, don't you think?
01:22:26.000 I think the real dilemma is going to be what happens first and what has to happen first.
01:22:32.000 So, if artificial intelligence can now make its own decisions, and if artificial intelligence becomes sentient, means it becomes independent and then decides to make its own decisions and make a better version of itself, it's going to very quickly reach some god-like level.
01:22:49.000 The only way we're going to survive Is if we're merging with it.
01:22:54.000 If we're still just fucking talking monkeys and we create this thing that's infinitely smarter than us and immediately puts a stop to all the shenanigans in the world, cuts off Pacific Ocean fishing,
01:23:11.000 engineers all the plastic removal, kills all the coal plants, redesigns nuclear power, gets rid of all the fucking solar.
01:23:21.000 Put a fucking reactor here.
01:23:22.000 Get out of here with your panels.
01:23:24.000 You've got 85 football fields covered up with this ugly black square thing.
01:23:29.000 Fuck out of here.
01:23:30.000 What are you dummies doing?
01:23:32.000 Oh, you got a wind farm?
01:23:33.000 Great.
01:23:33.000 What are you going to do with all these birds that get chewed up like they're flying into a fan?
01:23:37.000 Pull that shit down.
01:23:39.000 And then they'll redesign all of our irrigation systems.
01:23:42.000 They'll redesign all the food.
01:23:44.000 And then they go, why are we feeding these morons?
01:23:46.000 What are they doing?
01:23:47.000 You feed them, what do they do?
01:23:48.000 They just want to eat Doritos and drink Soda Pop and watch 90 Day Fiance.
01:23:52.000 That's all they wanted to do.
01:23:53.000 Well, that's the scary thing is they realize they don't need us.
01:23:56.000 Someone used the metaphor of like cows.
01:23:58.000 We eat cows and we wear them, so we have cows around.
01:24:03.000 But if we had, what do we call it, 3D printers that just made meat and leather...
01:24:08.000 We would probably be like, nah, we don't need these cows anymore.
01:24:10.000 They're just, they stink and their methane is fucking up the environment.
01:24:13.000 Let's just get rid of them.
01:24:14.000 And that's AI. We're the cows.
01:24:16.000 You know what the darkest conspiracy theory about aliens is?
01:24:20.000 I don't know if I'm ready for it.
01:24:21.000 That Earth is essentially a farm and human beings are the vessels that contain souls and they want us because this is how they create souls.
01:24:35.000 And so they're farming us.
01:24:36.000 They've created us.
01:24:37.000 So we started off as primates and through some sort of genetic intervention, I'm not saying I believe this, I'm just saying that this is like top of the food chain, put your tinfoil hat on super tight, that they farm us.
01:24:53.000 And that the whole reason why human beings are involved in this conflict, constant conflict, all of it is to increase our competition with each other, increase our ability to control resources, which will increase our technology, which will ultimately lead to us creating this being that we're going to create,
01:25:12.000 this artificially intelligent super god, which is going to happen.
01:25:18.000 I don't even know what to say.
01:25:19.000 I mean, that sounds crazy.
01:25:20.000 I hope that's not the case.
01:25:22.000 I got gigs.
01:25:24.000 I think the gigs are gonna be over.
01:25:26.000 No, come on!
01:25:27.000 What are you doing?
01:25:28.000 You're bumming me out!
01:25:28.000 Once we become cyborgs, comedy's not gonna be what we do anymore.
01:25:31.000 We're gonna be flying.
01:25:32.000 We're gonna be...
01:25:34.000 We're going to realize UFOs are around us all the time.
01:25:36.000 No, we're going to be just fine.
01:25:39.000 Are you worried?
01:25:41.000 I'm always worried about the future.
01:25:43.000 The unknown is terrifying, of course.
01:25:45.000 What about the election?
01:25:46.000 Am I worried about the election?
01:25:47.000 Yeah.
01:25:50.000 Slightly.
01:25:51.000 I mean, I've gotten much better at being like, I can't control any of this, and so I just take it a day at a time.
01:25:57.000 But this could be...
01:25:59.000 It's very AA of you.
01:26:01.000 It is, yeah.
01:26:02.000 I mean, I'm an AA guy.
01:26:04.000 But that's also just a proper way to live.
01:26:07.000 Yeah, it's a smart way to live.
01:26:08.000 Sort of thing.
01:26:08.000 I can't control it.
01:26:09.000 But yeah, it's going to be crazy.
01:26:11.000 It also feels like Trump is going to win, doesn't it?
01:26:14.000 More than it ever felt like in 2016. Certainly.
01:26:18.000 In 2016, it was like a joke to say that he was going to win.
01:26:20.000 Yes.
01:26:21.000 There was like eight people that were like, guys.
01:26:22.000 You could go on stage and go, Trump's going to win, you pussies.
01:26:25.000 And people would go, whoa.
01:26:27.000 You could play a character that said Trump was going to win.
01:26:31.000 Right.
01:26:31.000 You don't even know about the regular America.
01:26:34.000 Right.
01:26:34.000 Well, I think he didn't even think he was going to win.
01:26:35.000 Oh, I think he thought he was going to win.
01:26:37.000 You do?
01:26:38.000 Yeah.
01:26:38.000 Oh, I felt like he was like, oh, okay.
01:26:42.000 Did you see the footage that was removed from Meet the Press?
01:26:50.000 No.
01:26:50.000 They removed nine minutes of him denying the election.
01:26:54.000 So he does this interview, and the nine minutes that got removed is all him talking about the Hunter Biden laptop, that that was election interference, that they're doing ballot stuffing.
01:27:06.000 The lady's going, that's all been disproven.
01:27:08.000 That's been disproven by the heads of your intelligence agency.
01:27:12.000 That's been disproven by your team.
01:27:14.000 You know that that's not true.
01:27:15.000 And they're going back and forth, and it's like, it's really wild.
01:27:17.000 Let's move on to more productive topics, Mr. President.
01:27:20.000 Let's move on, Mr. President.
01:27:21.000 And he's like, it's real.
01:27:23.000 They stuffed the ballots?
01:27:24.000 You've seen them stuff it?
01:27:25.000 You've seen the photos?
01:27:27.000 It's a wild conversation.
01:27:29.000 And they took it off the internet?
01:27:30.000 Yeah.
01:27:31.000 Well, they took it off the show.
01:27:32.000 And he's essentially saying, like, if he went to court, he'd have so much evidence that he'd win in court.
01:27:37.000 Right.
01:27:38.000 But why don't they go to court then?
01:27:40.000 This is what I don't understand.
01:27:41.000 I don't want to get...
01:27:42.000 I'm agnostic about all this stuff until you show me what kind of evidence is involved in this.
01:27:48.000 But isn't it...
01:27:48.000 I mean, am I just consuming too much mainstream evidence?
01:27:51.000 I mean, media?
01:27:52.000 I think there is no evidence.
01:27:54.000 I think he's completely...
01:27:56.000 Well, what he's saying is that there is evidence and that he needs to provide it in court.
01:28:02.000 And what I'm saying is, like, why aren't you in court then?
01:28:04.000 Yeah, because he's lying.
01:28:06.000 Well, I don't know.
01:28:08.000 Donald Trump's not the guy that's going to sit on evidence that's going to show that he won.
01:28:11.000 But that's a big lie.
01:28:13.000 And the other things that he said before, you know, they were saying that he was lying about Hunter Biden.
01:28:18.000 They were saying he was lying about the laptop, and then they got the 51 intelligence agencies to back up the fact that it was disinformation.
01:28:24.000 He was right about that, though.
01:28:26.000 He was right about the bribes.
01:28:27.000 He was right about all that shit.
01:28:28.000 Well, that's the tricky thing about lying so much, is occasionally you're going to say correct things, and people are going to be like, oh, wait.
01:28:34.000 Well, no.
01:28:35.000 You know what it's like?
01:28:35.000 It's like you're lying about another liar.
01:28:37.000 Well, you're telling the truth about another liar.
01:28:40.000 It doesn't mean that you don't lie.
01:28:41.000 Yeah, of course.
01:28:42.000 Just because you catch someone lying doesn't mean you don't lie, too.
01:28:44.000 Yeah, I mean, Donald Trump has certainly said many true things.
01:28:49.000 That's a good point.
01:28:50.000 It's hard to parse.
01:28:51.000 Parcel?
01:28:51.000 Parse?
01:28:52.000 What's the word there?
01:28:53.000 Part and parcel, I think?
01:28:54.000 Yeah.
01:28:54.000 I can't remember.
01:28:56.000 For instance, I was lying about the dancing mustache guy in Flashdance.
01:29:02.000 I validated you on that.
01:29:03.000 Jamie found it!
01:29:04.000 You got it?
01:29:06.000 I've been sweating.
01:29:06.000 See, there's his cock.
01:29:07.000 There's a stunt double for part of the dance.
01:29:09.000 You can see how giant his quads are right there.
01:29:11.000 Oh, yeah.
01:29:11.000 The rest of this.
01:29:12.000 I'll play it for you, though, so you can see.
01:29:14.000 So there's her.
01:29:15.000 That's her.
01:29:15.000 She's very shapely.
01:29:16.000 Here it switches to the guy, like right now.
01:29:18.000 And then he'll do this cool move that maybe she couldn't do.
01:29:21.000 You can see he's got tights on.
01:29:23.000 This.
01:29:24.000 Yes, this is the mustache.
01:29:26.000 Oh, he's so jacked.
01:29:27.000 Yeah.
01:29:27.000 That's me right there.
01:29:30.000 So if I paused a little bit, you can kind of tell it's not right.
01:29:33.000 That's so crazy that he didn't take the mustache off.
01:29:36.000 Can you see the mustache at some point?
01:29:38.000 It's so obviously a dude.
01:29:40.000 That's so crazy.
01:29:42.000 And it's a jacked dude.
01:29:44.000 Look at that guy looks like an MMA fighter.
01:29:47.000 Those hammies, baby.
01:29:48.000 He's so thick.
01:29:50.000 I'm not seeing the mustache all that clearly, though.
01:29:52.000 I don't honestly see the mustache.
01:29:53.000 I found another thing explaining it.
01:29:55.000 It showed the guy.
01:29:55.000 He definitely has a mustache.
01:29:56.000 He's fucking jacked, though.
01:29:58.000 Look at her hair and look at his hair.
01:30:00.000 Like, look at who they're spinning.
01:30:01.000 He's got fucking short hair.
01:30:02.000 They didn't even give him a wig.
01:30:04.000 Look.
01:30:06.000 Damn it!
01:30:07.000 The mustache thing is bothering me, though.
01:30:08.000 I swear there was a mustache somewhere.
01:30:10.000 It might be like a Shane Gillis mustache.
01:30:12.000 One of those ones you only see when you're right next to him.
01:30:15.000 You get close when you're kissing him, yeah.
01:30:16.000 There's a clip I saw of the director explaining this in that clip, the show of the guy, and he does have a mustache.
01:30:22.000 Okay, alright.
01:30:23.000 There's a mustache in there.
01:30:24.000 Maybe that's what it is.
01:30:25.000 Maybe the guy grew a mustache later.
01:30:26.000 Not a liar.
01:30:28.000 It was a dude, though.
01:30:29.000 Can I start another cigar up?
01:30:30.000 Is that alright?
01:30:31.000 I mean, all this alien talk, we're all gonna die.
01:30:33.000 I'm having a child.
01:30:34.000 You're telling me the world's gonna end?
01:30:35.000 I don't think the world's gonna end.
01:30:37.000 I think the world's gonna change.
01:30:38.000 Are you a hopeful person in general or are you pessimistic, optimistic?
01:30:44.000 I'm more optimistic than I am pessimistic.
01:30:48.000 That's good.
01:30:49.000 Yeah, I have faith in people.
01:30:50.000 I think people need to somehow be confronted by the reality of the times that we're living in and how Captured our ideas are and just to be careful of what we're doing in terms of worldwide conflict,
01:31:06.000 personal conflict, all conflict.
01:31:09.000 I think we're just too embroiled in unnecessary conflict.
01:31:13.000 I think it's fucking dangerous.
01:31:16.000 It's just the political conflict, the social conflict that we have.
01:31:22.000 It gets in the way of all the great aspects of life.
01:31:26.000 Of course.
01:31:27.000 And the problem is, you know, it's like people want things to be better.
01:31:32.000 And they're convinced that this path is the way to make things better.
01:31:37.000 And the other people are convinced that that's not the way to make things better.
01:31:39.000 And there's no meeting in the middle.
01:31:41.000 And these people are Nazis and these people are Marxists.
01:31:44.000 And it's like...
01:31:47.000 Well, so much of this is social media, don't you feel like?
01:31:49.000 I know I'm not coming out with a groundbreaking theory here, but I think social media is really fucking us and dangerous.
01:31:56.000 It would all be improved to limit it to some degree.
01:32:01.000 Yeah, I'm getting a new phone and not putting any apps on it.
01:32:04.000 I'm keeping an old phone that I'm going to use for social media where I'll go and post things and stuff like that, but I'm done.
01:32:11.000 Yeah, it's really not good.
01:32:14.000 But the AI stuff also, they could fucking cure cancer and what do you call it?
01:32:19.000 What's the other one?
01:32:20.000 Alzheimer's and all that shit?
01:32:22.000 And climate change, fix that shit up, get a carbon vacuum, suck that shit, put it right in the earth.
01:32:27.000 That's all positive.
01:32:29.000 I was reading about some controversy involved in some fake meat company where one of the whistleblowers is saying, like, are we the next Theranos?
01:32:39.000 Who's that again?
01:32:41.000 Theranos.
01:32:42.000 Theranos was that lady, Elizabeth Holmes, who faked these blood test things.
01:32:49.000 I think this thing's dying.
01:32:51.000 No, give it to me.
01:32:54.000 You need to rejuice it for some reason.
01:32:57.000 It's almost like it's leaking.
01:32:59.000 I think it might be leaking fluid or something.
01:33:02.000 It's gonna blow.
01:33:03.000 If it blows, I'll look away.
01:33:05.000 Oh, God.
01:33:05.000 I'm gonna look away.
01:33:08.000 Just get my neck a little bit.
01:33:10.000 Comedian Joe Rogan torches tits during podcast.
01:33:13.000 It'd be a cool scar.
01:33:14.000 It's a little tit torch.
01:33:16.000 Yeah, you are an optimist.
01:33:17.000 Yeah.
01:33:17.000 If I light myself on fire, it'd be a cool scar.
01:33:19.000 Most of the time, I'm optimistic.
01:33:21.000 But I'm also...
01:33:23.000 Look, the world is far better right now than it's ever been.
01:33:28.000 And it seems to always be moving in a far better direction.
01:33:31.000 And even all the social conflict, like a lot of the shit that I don't agree with, like a lot of the youth gender ideology stuff and a lot of the social justice warrior stuff, I see why it would be a good idea to pursue this idea of making things more equal for everybody.
01:33:50.000 It's all in the right vein.
01:33:52.000 I just don't think it works.
01:33:54.000 I don't think it works accurately with human nature, but I like the fact that that's the direction that people are pushing aggressively rather than racism.
01:34:03.000 Imagine if the same exact anti-racism energy was now pushed towards a racist agenda like Nazi Germany, because that was the same kind of thing.
01:34:16.000 But it was a negative thing, right?
01:34:18.000 It was an extermination thing.
01:34:21.000 But it's...
01:34:22.000 I think people...
01:34:24.000 We gotta be real careful about the conflict that we get in.
01:34:29.000 For fucking no reason.
01:34:31.000 Yeah.
01:34:31.000 But it does feel like everyone is coming from what they feel is a good place.
01:34:36.000 Exactly.
01:34:37.000 As did Hitler.
01:34:38.000 I'm sure Hitler was like, we gotta get rid of these Jews.
01:34:41.000 It's gonna be better for everybody.
01:34:42.000 So everyone thinks they're coming from a good place.
01:34:45.000 Well, all the ideas of eugenics, those guys probably all thought they were coming from an idea of a good place.
01:34:50.000 But to us, it's horrifying.
01:34:52.000 So you get all the weak people, you're just gonna kill them?
01:34:54.000 Right.
01:34:55.000 And just have only, like, the best, strongest, like, best, like, okay.
01:34:59.000 Your music's gonna suck.
01:35:01.000 Right.
01:35:02.000 Your fucking...
01:35:02.000 Your music's gonna suck.
01:35:04.000 Your food's probably gonna taste like shit.
01:35:07.000 Your comedians.
01:35:08.000 I mean, my God.
01:35:08.000 Your comedians are gonna suck.
01:35:09.000 Your authors are gonna suck.
01:35:12.000 Yeah.
01:35:13.000 Like, you're gonna become a warrior class?
01:35:16.000 You're gonna be the Spartans?
01:35:17.000 Is that what you're gonna do?
01:35:19.000 Hopefully, don't you feel like maybe people will start...
01:35:22.000 There's more and more studies about social media, what's healthy.
01:35:25.000 We know more and more about what's healthy, getting into the outdoors and being with people, being of service, as there's many...
01:35:32.000 Not to get AA again, but there's many...
01:35:35.000 Scientific studies that like when you're serving other people, that's the key to happiness.
01:35:38.000 And there's more and more podcasts and books and studies about this.
01:35:42.000 So hopefully people go, boy, I'm really fucking depressed and unhappy.
01:35:45.000 Let me get into nature, put my phone down, be of service to others.
01:35:49.000 And you have more people doing that.
01:35:50.000 You do, but I think it's like the warnings on cigarette boxes.
01:35:54.000 Everybody knows they're there and they keep smoking cigarettes.
01:35:58.000 Social media is super addictive, man.
01:36:00.000 But less people smoke than before.
01:36:02.000 That's true.
01:36:03.000 So they have worse.
01:36:03.000 Still a lot of people smoke.
01:36:05.000 Of course, but...
01:36:06.000 You might have more people that realize that social media is detrimental to your mental health.
01:36:12.000 You probably have more people that would recognize it, yeah.
01:36:15.000 And I think more people do recognize it now than ever before.
01:36:18.000 The problem is once you're hooked, it's fucking super hard to get off of it.
01:36:21.000 Yeah, it's really hard.
01:36:22.000 I'm bad when I'm by myself.
01:36:23.000 When I'm with people, I'm very good about being present, but I spend so much time on the road.
01:36:28.000 And when I'm in the hotel, I find myself being like, I'm going to watch a movie or read, and then I read three paragraphs, and I'm like, oh, what's up with that guy?
01:36:35.000 And I go to Wikipedia and start reading shit.
01:36:38.000 Yeah, the thing to me is I love the fact that you can get entertainment on your phone.
01:36:43.000 I love YouTube.
01:36:44.000 I love podcasts.
01:36:45.000 I love the fact that you listen to music.
01:36:47.000 I love that.
01:36:48.000 That's my favorite part of the phone.
01:36:50.000 I feel like that's overall net positive.
01:36:53.000 You know, I could watch ESPN Plus on my phone.
01:36:56.000 I'd watch fights, like live streaming, just with 5G. If I'm stuck somewhere, like there's a UFC card, I'd fucking set my phone down right here, and I could watch the fights.
01:37:07.000 I've had to do some boring-ass shit that I agreed to do, and really, part of it, you're just sitting there.
01:37:12.000 I'm like, I'm busted on my phone.
01:37:13.000 I got the fights on now, right?
01:37:15.000 I love that, but...
01:37:18.000 The social media thing where people are checking their likes and checking what everybody else is doing.
01:37:23.000 I just think that robs you of time to just interact with people and think.
01:37:29.000 And I think we've become super accustomed to that thievery to the point where we just sort of accepted it.
01:37:34.000 And I've only gone a couple of times without doing it, but one time that I did it was in Hawaii.
01:37:39.000 I broke my phone.
01:37:40.000 I dropped it, and it just started randomly dialing phone numbers.
01:37:44.000 I'd hold it up, and it would just randomly dial, and I'd press a button, and I'm like, look at this.
01:37:47.000 And then it would dial somebody else, and I'd press send, end, and then dial someone else.
01:37:52.000 And you couldn't stop it from doing it.
01:37:54.000 I restarted, kept doing it.
01:37:55.000 So I had to order a phone from Apple.
01:37:57.000 I was on Lanai.
01:37:59.000 It's a small island.
01:38:00.000 It took like three days to get me a phone.
01:38:03.000 But during that three days, I felt so much better.
01:38:05.000 I had the same thing happen.
01:38:06.000 I was at Denver Comedy Works a few years ago.
01:38:08.000 The same thing.
01:38:08.000 My phone just crapped out.
01:38:10.000 And I had like two days without it.
01:38:11.000 And you're like, this is amazing.
01:38:13.000 Yeah, I was like a normal person again.
01:38:15.000 And I was with my family, so I knew where everybody was.
01:38:18.000 We were all hanging out together.
01:38:19.000 So it was like normal.
01:38:21.000 And I was like, oh my god, this is such a better way to interact in life.
01:38:25.000 And then as soon as I got my phone, I went right back to it.
01:38:29.000 Yeah, it's hard not to.
01:38:30.000 I was just listening to a thing, too.
01:38:31.000 Some, I don't know, psychologist guy or someone was talking about boredom, like what you feel when you're bored.
01:38:36.000 Like, we need to feel that.
01:38:37.000 And that evolutionarily was like, basically, you'd be out hunting, and then no animals were coming by.
01:38:44.000 And so you felt boredom.
01:38:45.000 And that was your brain, your body telling you, like...
01:38:48.000 Hey, go do something else.
01:38:50.000 Go get berries or go fucking sleep or whatever.
01:38:53.000 We need that to go, oh, you know what I should do is something else.
01:38:57.000 But instead of feeling that, we just go straight to the phone.
01:39:00.000 It's also one of the ways you come up with your best ideas.
01:39:03.000 Right.
01:39:04.000 You know, when you're just bored and thinking and then you're stuck in a waiting room somewhere with no magazines.
01:39:10.000 I used to have some of my best ideas on airplanes because I would be stuck on the airplane.
01:39:15.000 I couldn't go anywhere.
01:39:16.000 And back when there was no Wi-Fi on airplanes, all I had was a notebook.
01:39:20.000 Yeah, it was nice.
01:39:21.000 The subway was like that in New York, too.
01:39:23.000 Before, when I first moved there, you would have a 45-minute ride home just with your thoughts.
01:39:28.000 Same thing.
01:39:28.000 Exactly.
01:39:29.000 Yeah, and we missed that for whatever reason.
01:39:32.000 We didn't think that was valuable because the entertainment that you get off of TikTok or Twitter or any of that stuff is so much better.
01:39:39.000 Well, and now you also have the feeling that I can be productive all the time.
01:39:43.000 And in reality, it makes you less productive.
01:39:47.000 But you think I can work, which is one of the problems they talk about with people working from home now is there's no more clocking in and clocking out.
01:39:52.000 You wake up and you immediately start.
01:39:54.000 So you end up working more.
01:39:56.000 Maybe.
01:39:56.000 Or you fuck off a lot and get caught jerking off.
01:40:00.000 Right.
01:40:01.000 That too.
01:40:03.000 But there's a lot of pros and cons to working from home.
01:40:09.000 The pros would all apply if you have discipline.
01:40:13.000 Discipline, like why do you need to be in an office if you have work that you can get done without other people?
01:40:17.000 But don't we need the dopamines, the eye contact, the bumping into people?
01:40:21.000 Sometimes you do, but it depends what you do, right?
01:40:23.000 Like if you're an author, you want silence, right?
01:40:26.000 Right.
01:40:27.000 You don't have to be in a fucking office with a bunch of people if you're an author.
01:40:30.000 You want to be able to sit alone and just think.
01:40:33.000 Sure.
01:40:33.000 You want to be able to sit alone and come up with ideas.
01:40:35.000 But my father's been working from home.
01:40:37.000 He fucking hates it.
01:40:38.000 He misses being on the train and bumping.
01:40:40.000 And he's like an introverted guy.
01:40:41.000 But, you know, going, hi, Sue.
01:40:42.000 How do you do?
01:40:43.000 Or whatever.
01:40:44.000 Right.
01:40:44.000 We need those interactions.
01:40:45.000 Dude, I hate to tell you this.
01:40:46.000 I have to piss again.
01:40:47.000 Piss again.
01:40:48.000 I'm so sorry.
01:40:48.000 Piss in my mouth.
01:40:49.000 I don't care.
01:40:49.000 I took a big IV bag today.
01:40:52.000 I'll be right back.
01:40:53.000 And we're back.
01:40:56.000 We're back!
01:40:57.000 This is like a dream to me, because I piss a lot.
01:40:59.000 So every time you have to piss, I'm like, this is beautiful.
01:41:01.000 Yeah, usually I'm pretty good.
01:41:03.000 Usually I can hang in there for a few hours, but it gets hard when I do the IV. And also, before I did the IV, I did the sauna.
01:41:10.000 When I go in the sauna, I drink a big fucking hydro flask filled with water, like a 64 ounce.
01:41:16.000 Right.
01:41:17.000 I hit the steam today.
01:41:18.000 I'm a big steam room guy.
01:41:19.000 You like steam?
01:41:20.000 I like both.
01:41:21.000 I'm all steam.
01:41:22.000 But I prefer the sauna because I think it has more benefits because it gets hotter.
01:41:26.000 Oh, really?
01:41:27.000 The steam's like 120 degrees.
01:41:28.000 Yeah.
01:41:29.000 Yeah, sauna gets like, I do 185. Is that healthy?
01:41:35.000 It seems to be for me.
01:41:37.000 Yeah, I don't have a problem with it.
01:41:38.000 But I built up to it.
01:41:40.000 I do 20 minutes at 185. We used to do 25, but 20 seems to...
01:41:44.000 Sometimes we'll still do 25, but especially if I've done the cold first.
01:41:48.000 See, I'm at the gym.
01:41:49.000 I don't have a personal sauna.
01:41:52.000 Not yet.
01:41:52.000 After this, I feel like you never know.
01:41:56.000 That was sarcasm.
01:41:57.000 But I feel like the sauna at the gym is like 110 or something like that.
01:42:02.000 Nah.
01:42:03.000 Is it higher than that?
01:42:04.000 It's probably warmer, but I bet they don't jack that sucker up too high.
01:42:07.000 They probably won't let it get up to where I like it.
01:42:11.000 Yeah, I love the steam.
01:42:12.000 I love that.
01:42:13.000 As soon as you get in there, you're fucking drenched.
01:42:15.000 It's also just good to get...
01:42:17.000 Your body reacts to that and it cools it off, and that's what produces these heat shock proteins.
01:42:22.000 They're really good for inflammation.
01:42:24.000 Hot baths are good for it, too.
01:42:26.000 A lot of different heat exposure is very good for you, but the best, at least in terms of the amount of studies that have been done, the best work has been done on the dry sauna.
01:42:35.000 Not even the infrared sauna, which also has some benefits, but...
01:42:39.000 The dry sauna, they did this study in Finland that showed over 20 years, people that use the sauna four times or more a week showed a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality.
01:42:51.000 Wow.
01:42:52.000 Strokes, heart attacks, cancer, everything.
01:42:54.000 And it's this anti-inflammation effect, they believe, from the heat shock proteins.
01:43:01.000 Because your body deals with this irritant, like this thing, this heat, this pressure, this thing where your body has to react to a very extreme condition.
01:43:13.000 And in doing so, it creates these anti-inflammatory properties to kind of protect itself.
01:43:19.000 And then when you get out of there, it just flushes through.
01:43:23.000 Maybe I'll start doing more sauna.
01:43:25.000 Yeah.
01:43:26.000 It's great.
01:43:28.000 Alright, I'll go sauna.
01:43:29.000 But it seems great too.
01:43:30.000 It feels good.
01:43:31.000 It seems good for your voice and your skin.
01:43:35.000 Yeah, I'm glowing.
01:43:36.000 It's weird in there.
01:43:37.000 It's fucking foggy.
01:43:39.000 My buddy...
01:43:42.000 A friend of mine and I, we used to go to 24 Hour Fitness in California, and one of the guys who was the manager of 24 Hour Fitness, they had just moved him over from West Hollywood.
01:43:54.000 And I go, we were talking...
01:43:58.000 We were talking.
01:43:59.000 I go, what part of West Hollywood yet?
01:44:00.000 He goes, the gayest part of West Hollywood.
01:44:02.000 That's where 24 Hour Fitness is.
01:44:03.000 He goes, it's basically a gay pickup gym.
01:44:05.000 Right.
01:44:06.000 And so they had to stop guys from fucking in the steam room.
01:44:10.000 And it kept happening.
01:44:12.000 So they had to literally have a guy outside the steam room making sure the dudes didn't fuck in there.
01:44:18.000 That's a big thing.
01:44:19.000 I go to Equinox and it's the same thing.
01:44:21.000 A gay friend of mine told me they call it the low self-esteem room because everyone's in there blowing and fucking each other.
01:44:28.000 Imagine you're just a guy who goes in there to just get a steam and two guys are sucking each other off.
01:44:33.000 I mean, I do a bit about it.
01:44:34.000 I mean, I don't want to just do a bit here, but I feel a way.
01:44:37.000 I've never seen sex, and I wonder, am I just a fucking dork that they're like, oh, this guy's not cool.
01:44:44.000 Everyone's like, put it away, fucking this idiot's here.
01:44:47.000 Maybe it's a special thing that only happens one every three days.
01:44:50.000 Maybe it's a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule.
01:44:52.000 It might be at night, too.
01:44:54.000 I'm sure.
01:44:55.000 Every once in a while, I have access to all the Equinox.
01:44:58.000 Occasionally, I'll go to the one in Chelsea, and I think that's one of the big ones I've heard, but I haven't seen it.
01:45:03.000 Is Equinox a 24-hour place?
01:45:05.000 No, I think it closes at, I don't know, 11 or midnight or something.
01:45:08.000 I think it depends.
01:45:09.000 But I've been going to the one here, hitting the steam room, and it's just me.
01:45:13.000 But when I'm in there, I am like, is something about to go down?
01:45:15.000 Right, never know.
01:45:17.000 Because I'd like to be asked.
01:45:18.000 I did have a guy flirt one time with me, and he was quite flirty.
01:45:23.000 And it was nice because he was complimenting my body, which, you know, I enjoy.
01:45:27.000 Nice.
01:45:27.000 I wasn't going to fuck him, but I still was like, thank you, man.
01:45:30.000 I appreciate it.
01:45:31.000 Did he ask you if you were straight?
01:45:35.000 No, he didn't ask me.
01:45:36.000 He was just like, you have a nice little body.
01:45:37.000 But I think a straight married man is the biggest get you can get.
01:45:42.000 I think that's...
01:45:43.000 If you're a gay guy, to fuck a straight guy.
01:45:45.000 It's like a trophy bass.
01:45:46.000 That's huge.
01:45:47.000 Yeah.
01:45:48.000 It's like a 15-pound bass.
01:45:50.000 I mean, I was talking a being of service.
01:45:52.000 I mean, that's the ultimate service.
01:45:53.000 That is the ultimate service.
01:45:54.000 I could give someone that gift.
01:45:55.000 Yeah, if you really believe in inclusion and equity and helping out the LBGT community, suck that guy off.
01:46:03.000 Well, my thing is, and again, this is in my act, and I don't want to be the guy that comes on and does his act, but the temperature is the deterrent.
01:46:09.000 Like, I don't understand how you have sex in a 120-degree room.
01:46:12.000 That is a little too toasty for my...
01:46:16.000 I like a summer set at like 68. It can be done.
01:46:19.000 It depends on how horny you are.
01:46:20.000 I mean, I'm not denying it can be done.
01:46:22.000 But imagine if you haven't had sex in weeks, and then all of a sudden you're alone with your lady friend, with your wife, in a fucking sauna, and she just moves that towel to the side.
01:46:34.000 Yeah.
01:46:35.000 You were about to black out, but you power through.
01:46:37.000 I would enjoy that, yeah.
01:46:38.000 I mean, and I do occasionally do squats.
01:46:40.000 I feel like if you can do squats, you can fuck.
01:46:42.000 Yeah, maybe you just open the door of the sauna.
01:46:45.000 Like, okay, we could do this, but let's let a little air in.
01:46:48.000 Let the steam out.
01:46:49.000 Just let a little air in.
01:46:51.000 Let the steam out and the cream in.
01:46:52.000 Hello, folks.
01:46:53.000 Hey!
01:46:54.000 Hey!
01:46:55.000 How you doing?
01:46:56.000 When did the term cream pie come around?
01:46:59.000 I don't know.
01:47:00.000 Because you could just say that.
01:47:02.000 You say cream pie and everybody knows what you're talking about.
01:47:05.000 Yeah, all those terms.
01:47:06.000 I don't know.
01:47:07.000 It's a fascinating thing.
01:47:08.000 Somebody started all those terms.
01:47:10.000 Somebody was like, we're calling it this.
01:47:11.000 And those are the ultimate viral things.
01:47:14.000 Yeah.
01:47:15.000 I mean, that's viral before viral.
01:47:17.000 There's actually a Wikipedia about this.
01:47:19.000 There is?
01:47:20.000 A Wikipedia?
01:47:21.000 A cream pie Wikipedia?
01:47:22.000 Bullshit!
01:47:23.000 Pull it up!
01:47:25.000 Meanwhile, they locked down Andrew Huberman's.
01:47:27.000 Look, oh my god, there's a picture with the vagina and jizz coming out of the vagina on Wikipedia.
01:47:36.000 That's beautiful.
01:47:38.000 Cream pie, known as internal ejaculation and typically same-sex context as a breeding, is a sexual act commonly featured in hardcore pornography in which a man ejaculates inside his partner's vagina or anus without the use of a condom resulting in visible seeping or dripping of the semen from the orifice and they show you a photo for an example like pornography On Wikipedia.
01:48:05.000 Who fucking would have imagined?
01:48:07.000 And they have a description of what the photo is.
01:48:10.000 Semen flowing out of a woman's vagina.
01:48:12.000 Look at this.
01:48:12.000 Internal ejaculation shots are a comparatively recent development.
01:48:16.000 Development.
01:48:17.000 Like it's a fucking, it's a feature in the new technology.
01:48:20.000 Comparatively recent development of pornography.
01:48:22.000 They are not found in early pornographic films.
01:48:25.000 The use of the word cream pie to describe such scenes originated in U.S. pornography in the early 2000s.
01:48:32.000 And is found in usage as early as the beginning of 1999. You gonna party like it's 1999?
01:48:37.000 We fuckin' right.
01:48:42.000 In straight pornography, sexual activity is often followed by a facial, a pearl necklace, or other visible ejaculation.
01:48:50.000 Cream Pie seems to depart from heterosexual pornographic convention in favor of a depiction that more closely mimics sexual activity as performed in ordinary life.
01:48:59.000 They have been called The counter image of facials.
01:49:04.000 There's like theory.
01:49:06.000 There's porn theory.
01:49:08.000 How bizarre.
01:49:10.000 You ever eat your own cream pie?
01:49:13.000 What do you think?
01:49:19.000 I know I have a friend who said he's done it many times, and I often debate this with people.
01:49:25.000 It's one of my favorite topics of conversations with women, where he claims the women were all into it.
01:49:30.000 He said he's done it seven or eight times, and they were all into it, and I claim they are lying or humoring him.
01:49:36.000 Because I've asked many, many women, and the women I've asked, and maybe I hang out in more sexually conservative circles, but all the women I've asked were like, I would be tremendously off-put by that.
01:49:47.000 LAUGHTER Yeah, that seems super unusual.
01:49:53.000 A dude just goes down there and munches on his own jizz.
01:49:56.000 Yeah, don't you find...
01:49:57.000 I mean, I'm not interested in eating jizz particularly, but don't you feel like right after you cum, I have never felt less sexual?
01:50:07.000 That's what's crazy to me, is that after you cum, you're still interested in doing something fucking naughty.
01:50:13.000 Maybe it's a coke thing.
01:50:15.000 Maybe.
01:50:15.000 Or a meth thing.
01:50:17.000 Or an Adderall thing.
01:50:18.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:50:18.000 Like a speedy thing.
01:50:20.000 Because that's one of the things that my friend used to tell me when...
01:50:24.000 James got a throw up over there.
01:50:26.000 I had a friend that smoked crack, and when he smoked crack, he would just always want to jerk off and fuck.
01:50:32.000 I was like, really?
01:50:33.000 He goes, yeah, you're always just trying to jerk off.
01:50:35.000 Even if you're not horny, you just keep going.
01:50:37.000 It's weird.
01:50:38.000 Yeah, it's funny.
01:50:39.000 When I was on Tom's podcast, he was talking about losing Jamie over there.
01:50:43.000 I just read the end of the article.
01:50:45.000 Last paragraph.
01:50:47.000 Internal ejaculations followed by images of semen dripping from the anus are sometimes depicted in bareback gay pornography where they are referred to by the term breeding or reverse money shot.
01:50:59.000 Breeding is sometimes followed by felching, which involves sucking the semen from the partner's anus.
01:51:07.000 Holla at Chaboy.
01:51:09.000 Your friend likes the Felch.
01:51:10.000 He's a Felcher.
01:51:12.000 That's from the anus, though.
01:51:14.000 I think it's from the butt.
01:51:15.000 It's felching.
01:51:16.000 Yeah, I don't think he was felching.
01:51:17.000 He's technically not felching.
01:51:17.000 I think he was, like, titting or whatever.
01:51:19.000 It was off the tits, which is...
01:51:21.000 Oh, that's even grosser.
01:51:23.000 Oh, that's even more disgusting.
01:51:25.000 No, that's less gross than out of the asshole.
01:51:27.000 I guess.
01:51:28.000 Yeah.
01:51:29.000 It's all gross.
01:51:30.000 Yeah, because cum is better than cum and shit.
01:51:32.000 Yeah, I guess, but you're just licking cum off tits, and she's watching you, and you...
01:51:37.000 That's weird.
01:51:38.000 Yeah.
01:51:40.000 That's a weird thing.
01:51:41.000 Different strokes for different folks, you know?
01:51:44.000 Yeah, definitely.
01:51:46.000 I mean, you're not hurting anybody.
01:51:48.000 No, but don't you think these women are being kind by being like, oh, I like that?
01:51:54.000 It depends on the kind of women.
01:51:55.000 I mean, he might be dating like crazy tattooed up fucking psychos.
01:52:00.000 Well, I'm sure there's women that are like, please do this for me.
01:52:03.000 Eat that jizz off my tits, baby.
01:52:05.000 Now, what if your wife was like, Joe, I would really appreciate it.
01:52:07.000 I'm into this.
01:52:08.000 Please.
01:52:09.000 This is what I need.
01:52:09.000 This is my bucket list.
01:52:11.000 Would you think about it?
01:52:14.000 What do you think?
01:52:16.000 I think no, but I like to pose questions.
01:52:18.000 No, that's crazy.
01:52:20.000 You'd have to be negotiating.
01:52:22.000 Like, what do I get out of this?
01:52:25.000 Right.
01:52:25.000 What do I get to do if I do that?
01:52:27.000 Or what do you do if I do that?
01:52:29.000 Right.
01:52:29.000 And I don't need any of that.
01:52:30.000 I'm not interested.
01:52:31.000 Is there an answer to that?
01:52:33.000 No.
01:52:33.000 There's no answer that would fucking fit.
01:52:35.000 I mean, that's the question, right?
01:52:38.000 How much would you have to pay to eat your own jizz?
01:52:41.000 Or how much would you have to get paid to eat your own jizz?
01:52:44.000 Like if someone says, would you eat your own jizz?
01:52:46.000 You're like, no.
01:52:47.000 Would you eat your own jizz for $2 billion?
01:52:50.000 Yes.
01:52:52.000 100%.
01:52:53.000 Yeah.
01:52:53.000 Because it wouldn't take that long.
01:52:55.000 No, it's fine.
01:52:56.000 I mean, it's like Fear Factor.
01:52:57.000 I mean, it's kind of like a just, you know, squeeze your nose.
01:53:00.000 Can I have a Pepsi with me?
01:53:01.000 Anybody that says they would never eat jizz, I would never eat my own jizz.
01:53:05.000 Not even for $2 billion?
01:53:06.000 Not even for $2 billion.
01:53:08.000 Well, then you're an idiot.
01:53:09.000 Because what do you like working?
01:53:11.000 You like doing something you don't want to do?
01:53:12.000 I'd do it for $800.
01:53:13.000 I mean...
01:53:14.000 Yeah, that's $800 you didn't have.
01:53:16.000 And how long is it going to take you?
01:53:18.000 If you do it quick and just fucking put your nose to the grindstone, you could probably lick that jizz up in a minute.
01:53:23.000 One minute of suffering for $800 a minute.
01:53:26.000 Less than a minute.
01:53:27.000 Oh, is this going to be like a glass of jizz video?
01:53:30.000 That was Fear Factor.
01:53:32.000 Oh.
01:53:32.000 Yeah, dude, I'm literally one of the only people that got fired from a job in Hollywood because people had to drink jizz.
01:53:39.000 You guys drink jizz?
01:53:40.000 Yeah, usually in Hollywood, that's how you get a job.
01:53:44.000 I got fired because people had to drink Donkey Kong.
01:53:48.000 I encouraged them.
01:53:49.000 Oh my god.
01:53:50.000 Guys and girls.
01:53:52.000 Now would you rather eat donkey cum or your own cum?
01:53:54.000 My own.
01:53:55.000 I know what I'm eating.
01:53:56.000 Donkeys are probably fucking filled up with antibiotics and crazy medications to make them grow quicker or something.
01:54:03.000 Who knows what the fuck they're giving those donkeys.
01:54:06.000 Monsanto corn.
01:54:07.000 Your own cum is less weird than someone else's.
01:54:09.000 For sure.
01:54:10.000 But then you think, I mean, again, I think this is being, are we being bad people?
01:54:15.000 Because most women we know and gay men we know have eaten cum, and they're very nice people.
01:54:21.000 They're good for them.
01:54:21.000 Doesn't mean you have to do it.
01:54:23.000 I'm not saying I have to do it.
01:54:24.000 I got vaccinated.
01:54:25.000 You should get vaccinated.
01:54:26.000 I'm not saying we have to do it.
01:54:28.000 I'm saying, should we be pretending it's so, not pretending, but projecting out that it's so horrible?
01:54:33.000 Because many people do it.
01:54:34.000 No, we're stating our opinion on what it is like to us.
01:54:37.000 You're allowed to not want to eat your own jizz.
01:54:39.000 Good point.
01:54:39.000 I just don't want to say it's gross.
01:54:40.000 I don't care for it.
01:54:42.000 It's gross to you.
01:54:42.000 It doesn't mean it's gross to everybody.
01:54:43.000 Sushi is also gross to me.
01:54:45.000 Well, I was going to bring that up.
01:54:47.000 There's certain types of sushi where they use semen sacks.
01:54:51.000 I've had that.
01:54:53.000 Semen sacks?
01:54:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:54:55.000 There's certain kinds of like, there was a really high-end sushi place in LA and they had all these wacky sushis.
01:55:01.000 And one of the things they had was like, it was like fish semen sacks.
01:55:06.000 Sounds like a department store, semen sacks.
01:55:09.000 It does.
01:55:09.000 It does.
01:55:09.000 Sounds like something that would be smash and grabbed.
01:55:12.000 You'd see one of those Instagram videos of dudes with masks on running out with purses and shit.
01:55:16.000 Yeah.
01:55:17.000 Yeah, what is it?
01:55:18.000 See if you can find what that is.
01:55:20.000 Scirocco.
01:55:21.000 I should ask Philip.
01:55:22.000 Philip Franklin Lee.
01:55:23.000 It's called Shirako.
01:55:24.000 It's popular in Japan.
01:55:26.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:55:28.000 Okay.
01:55:28.000 I consider myself a pretty adventurous eater.
01:55:30.000 Yeah, it's just a story about eating it.
01:55:31.000 I don't know if that's important.
01:55:32.000 Yeah.
01:55:32.000 Does it say exactly what it is?
01:55:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:55:34.000 Does it describe it?
01:55:35.000 Yeah.
01:55:35.000 Fish sperm.
01:55:36.000 Yeah.
01:55:37.000 It's the milt.
01:55:38.000 The milt or sperm sacks of male cod.
01:55:41.000 It's served both raw and cooked form in restaurants all over Japan.
01:55:44.000 Yeah.
01:55:45.000 I had that.
01:55:47.000 That's not my scene.
01:55:49.000 I've had whale.
01:55:50.000 I've had whale and deer in sushi, but never come.
01:55:53.000 You compared whale to deer?
01:55:55.000 That's hilarious.
01:55:56.000 Well, I'm saying those are unusual foods that don't get eaten that often.
01:55:59.000 Deer's pretty usual.
01:56:00.000 Venison?
01:56:01.000 No, not in America.
01:56:03.000 What?
01:56:04.000 I mean, you eat it, right?
01:56:05.000 But that's not like, if you go to fucking...
01:56:07.000 There's a lot of restaurants that serve wild game.
01:56:09.000 Yeah.
01:56:10.000 Elk tenderloin, you've never seen that on the menu at a restaurant?
01:56:13.000 I'm not saying I've never seen it, but they don't have it at Burger King.
01:56:16.000 They don't have it at Chili.
01:56:16.000 You go to the Outback, they're not going to be like, do you want deer?
01:56:18.000 They used to have it at Arby's.
01:56:20.000 Is that right?
01:56:20.000 Yeah, Arby's had a venison sandwich.
01:56:22.000 We have the meats.
01:56:24.000 Right.
01:56:25.000 But it's rarer than a cheeseburger or a steak.
01:56:27.000 They had that, right?
01:56:28.000 Didn't Arby's have a venison sandwich?
01:56:29.000 I'm not imagining that, right?
01:56:30.000 This could be your dancing mustache guy.
01:56:35.000 Didn't they?
01:56:36.000 Oh, yeah, okay.
01:56:37.000 2017 bringing back their popular, crazy popular venison sandwich.
01:56:41.000 Yeah.
01:56:42.000 Thick cut venison steak.
01:56:43.000 Hey, I could be wrong.
01:56:45.000 Now they have a big game burger they've just launched.
01:56:47.000 Hey, there you go.
01:56:49.000 I don't think deer...
01:56:50.000 Whale's unusual.
01:56:52.000 Yeah.
01:56:52.000 Yeah.
01:56:53.000 Both were in Norway.
01:56:54.000 It was reindeer.
01:56:55.000 Does that make a difference?
01:56:56.000 Yeah, reindeer is caribou.
01:56:59.000 Okay.
01:56:59.000 Yeah, it's a different animal.
01:57:01.000 It's a different animal.
01:57:02.000 It literally was on Santa's fucking sled.
01:57:05.000 Alright, well I had reindeer.
01:57:06.000 You know what the difference between a reindeer and a caribou is?
01:57:08.000 No.
01:57:09.000 A reindeer is in a fenced-in area.
01:57:12.000 A caribou is wild.
01:57:14.000 Oh, okay.
01:57:14.000 Same animal.
01:57:15.000 I literally thought this was going to be like a street joke, like a kid's popsicle stick joke.
01:57:18.000 No, no, no.
01:57:18.000 When they call it a reindeer, it's when they're captive.
01:57:22.000 Because they can domesticate them, and they even ride them.
01:57:25.000 That's fun.
01:57:26.000 Yeah.
01:57:27.000 There's this dude that I had on the podcast who won Alone.
01:57:30.000 Jordan Jonas.
01:57:31.000 Really cool guy.
01:57:32.000 You ever see Alone?
01:57:33.000 No, but I know about it.
01:57:34.000 I just heard about it.
01:57:34.000 His episode was amazing.
01:57:36.000 He shot a moose with a bow and arrow and then a wolverine was stealing the moose and he killed the wolverine with a hatchet.
01:57:42.000 Holy shit.
01:57:44.000 It's a crazy fucking show, but he had a massive advantage going into that show because he had spent time living with tribal people in Siberia.
01:57:53.000 Wow.
01:57:54.000 Like he had spent time with all these folks that they ride around on these caribou or reindeer, right?
01:58:01.000 Yeah, they domesticate them.
01:58:02.000 That's fucking crazy.
01:58:04.000 Yeah, see if you can find some of those photos.
01:58:06.000 Like Santa, like a real life Santa.
01:58:07.000 They also kill him and eat him.
01:58:09.000 You know, it's kind of interesting.
01:58:12.000 It's like they have this very strange relationship with them, but they revere them because it's a massive part of their survival.
01:58:20.000 But they've managed to domesticate a deer species, which I don't think there's other deer species that are domesticated like that to the point where you can ride them.
01:58:27.000 It says reindeer are the only deer species to be wildly domesticated.
01:58:31.000 Ah, there you go.
01:58:32.000 Are there wild horses still?
01:58:34.000 Like, do you go to places where there's horses just fucking running around?
01:58:36.000 Oh yeah.
01:58:36.000 Yeah, see, look at these people riding fucking caribous.
01:58:39.000 No shit.
01:58:40.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:58:40.000 Hell yeah.
01:58:41.000 So that's a, I mean, that's not even like a bred down, you know, like a husky used to be a wolf.
01:58:47.000 That's an actual caribou.
01:58:49.000 And that's a big one.
01:58:50.000 They can fucking, you feed them and you can ride them.
01:58:54.000 Which is crazy.
01:58:55.000 And where is this?
01:58:55.000 So these people herd them.
01:58:57.000 This was in Siberia where he did it.
01:58:59.000 I don't know where this is right here.
01:59:01.000 Must be that area.
01:59:03.000 Click on that big picture with the article below it, Reindeer Riders, Historically Semi-Nomadic People in Several Parts of the World of Domesticated Reindeer.
01:59:14.000 Mongolia.
01:59:15.000 Wow.
01:59:16.000 So it's in Mongolia.
01:59:18.000 I know it's in Siberia.
01:59:20.000 Yeah, there you go.
01:59:21.000 Mongolia, Siberia, Northern Europe.
01:59:23.000 Perhaps in Norway.
01:59:24.000 Isn't that wild?
01:59:26.000 So this dude, he lived with those folks.
01:59:30.000 So, like, that's a hard, scrabble life.
01:59:32.000 You know, so he had a massive advantage being alone.
01:59:35.000 And he was good with a bow and arrow.
01:59:36.000 So when he killed a moose, he had food for, like, six months.
01:59:39.000 So that's different than this naked and afraid, also.
01:59:42.000 Is that a similar...
01:59:43.000 Yeah, that shows more exploitative.
01:59:45.000 This is people with actual skills and survival, and they give them a limited number of tools.
01:59:50.000 Like, this guy was allowed to have a few tools.
01:59:53.000 Right.
01:59:53.000 You're allowed to have one of these, one of that, one of those.
01:59:55.000 And then you have to build shelter, you have to find food, you have to do all these different things.
02:00:00.000 My friend James Patterson, a comedian, he came up with a good show idea that I think is good.
02:00:05.000 Don't say it on here, someone won't steal it.
02:00:07.000 You think?
02:00:08.000 But it's already said, we have it time stamped.
02:00:11.000 Can I not say?
02:00:11.000 Because it's pretty good.
02:00:13.000 Unless you want to go to court.
02:00:15.000 I've credited him.
02:00:16.000 And fight those weasels.
02:00:17.000 No one's going to take this.
02:00:18.000 Oh, this is good.
02:00:19.000 You know the Into the Wild?
02:00:20.000 You know that book?
02:00:21.000 Yeah.
02:00:21.000 John Krakauer?
02:00:22.000 My favorite book of all time.
02:00:23.000 It's a good book.
02:00:23.000 I love Krakauer.
02:00:24.000 You ever have him on?
02:00:25.000 Uh-uh.
02:00:25.000 He's a fascinating guy.
02:00:26.000 I've never met him, but his books are amazing.
02:00:29.000 But anyways...
02:00:29.000 You know, Christopher McCandless, it turned out he was quite close to civilization or whatever.
02:00:36.000 Yeah, really close.
02:00:37.000 And my friend James had an idea that we should take people, put them where he was, and they have to have sex, consensual sex, with a woman within 72 hours.
02:00:48.000 So they have to get out of there.
02:00:50.000 But once they're out, that's not the whole show.
02:00:52.000 Then they have to shower up and hook up with a woman.
02:00:56.000 God.
02:00:57.000 That's pretty good.
02:00:58.000 You have a survival show and a dating show combined.
02:01:00.000 You know what's funny?
02:01:01.000 If it was the opposite, if it was a woman and she had to have consensual sex with a man, it's a fucking home run.
02:01:08.000 But that's quite easy.
02:01:09.000 Isn't that amazing?
02:01:10.000 She could just get out of the woods.
02:01:12.000 The difference in the desirability of men versus females is quite amazing.
02:01:17.000 Is it desirability or the need to fuck?
02:01:21.000 Like a man will fuck anybody.
02:01:23.000 Is it because women are more desirable or is it because men need to fuck more?
02:01:26.000 No, well, it's also women are more vulnerable because if they fuck, they might have to carry that guy's baby around with them.
02:01:30.000 So genetically, they're more reluctant to breed unless they know you better, unless you're, you know?
02:01:36.000 Right.
02:01:36.000 Good point.
02:01:37.000 Yeah.
02:01:37.000 But isn't that a fun show?
02:01:39.000 I'm not saying it's the greatest show here.
02:01:41.000 I mean, it might be fun.
02:01:42.000 If you hate it, it's not my idea.
02:01:43.000 It was my friend Jane.
02:01:44.000 It might be fun.
02:01:47.000 What was the show, MILF Manor, where the ladies brought their sons and the sons banged all the other MILFs?
02:01:53.000 I don't know, but I want to be part of it.
02:01:55.000 I mean, that's the show.
02:01:56.000 I gotta talk to my agent.
02:01:57.000 Isn't that what it was called?
02:01:58.000 Was it MILF Manor or MILF Island?
02:02:01.000 I remember we were watching a preview before the show actually came out and we were predicting what the fuck was going down on MILF Manor, but I never watched it.
02:02:10.000 I'm about to have sex with a milf.
02:02:13.000 My wife is about to be a mother, and I'm gonna have sex.
02:02:16.000 I haven't had sex with a mother in a long time.
02:02:18.000 When is she about to pop?
02:02:19.000 Like three weeks from now.
02:02:20.000 Wow.
02:02:21.000 It's crazy.
02:02:21.000 This is my last hoorah.
02:02:23.000 I'm out there.
02:02:24.000 I'm going.
02:02:25.000 It's all happening.
02:02:26.000 You're gonna love it.
02:02:27.000 Yeah, I'm very excited.
02:02:28.000 I think it'll be great.
02:02:29.000 Yeah, you're gonna love it.
02:02:30.000 It's a life changer, that's for sure.
02:02:32.000 Yeah, of course.
02:02:33.000 Perspective enhancer, you know?
02:02:35.000 It's going to be wild.
02:02:37.000 Yeah, I'm excited.
02:02:38.000 I'm looking forward to it.
02:02:39.000 I think it'll be fun.
02:02:40.000 You worried she's going to hear...
02:02:41.000 Is it a boy or a girl?
02:02:42.000 It's a boy.
02:02:44.000 No worries, then.
02:02:45.000 Yeah.
02:02:46.000 It's going to be weird.
02:02:46.000 I mean, I've...
02:02:47.000 The girls hearing all your material about you, like, not liking your balls played with.
02:02:53.000 Yeah, I mean, all this stuff.
02:02:54.000 I mean, but my son's going to hear all this.
02:02:56.000 Yeah, he's going to go, me too, Dad.
02:02:58.000 Yeah.
02:02:58.000 What the fuck are they doing down there?
02:02:59.000 Good point.
02:03:00.000 It is nice.
02:03:01.000 But yeah, it's crazy how many...
02:03:03.000 It's weird to think of my father, if there was like 4,000 hours of my dad just talking about women he's fucked and what he likes, and eating cum.
02:03:12.000 And whether or not you would eat cum for a million dollars.
02:03:15.000 I'd eat cum for $800.
02:03:17.000 I mean, how crazy is the idea of you hearing your parents talk about eating cum out of somebody's asshole?
02:03:21.000 And you're like, what the fuck?
02:03:23.000 Maybe in the future that won't be scary at all.
02:03:25.000 I guess not, but it's wacky.
02:03:28.000 It is wacky.
02:03:29.000 And also that your son is going to be like, this is how you made a living?
02:03:32.000 And you're like, yeah, pretty good one.
02:03:35.000 They might be like, wow, I don't want to work either.
02:03:38.000 Do you think that it would be as easy to grow up in a loving household and be a funny comedian, though?
02:03:45.000 I think it's probably doable.
02:03:49.000 I'm sure there are people...
02:03:50.000 I mean, I feel like, you know, Ted Alexander, you know that comedian?
02:03:53.000 Mm-hmm.
02:03:54.000 One of the best comedians ever.
02:03:55.000 He's like one of my favorite comics.
02:03:56.000 And he seems to come from a very good home.
02:03:59.000 He's talked about his parents.
02:04:00.000 He's very family-oriented and just a community guy.
02:04:05.000 He seems very normal to me, and he's hilarious.
02:04:08.000 That's possible.
02:04:08.000 It's possible.
02:04:09.000 There's the outliers.
02:04:11.000 Because, I mean, you can come from a very loving and silly family.
02:04:14.000 Right.
02:04:14.000 You know what I mean?
02:04:15.000 Like, your family is very fun, and we're all together telling stories and fun and silly.
02:04:20.000 But the point was, what I was gonna try to get to is, is there any stand-up comic who had a kid that became a great stand-up comic?
02:04:28.000 Oh, the kid becomes a comic.
02:04:31.000 Let me think.
02:04:32.000 I think Greg Giraldo's son is doing comedy.
02:04:35.000 Is he good?
02:04:35.000 I've never seen him.
02:04:36.000 I think he's very new.
02:04:38.000 He's also probably gone through a lot of pain.
02:04:40.000 Of course.
02:04:41.000 It's a different thing.
02:04:42.000 Yeah.
02:04:43.000 Yeah, almost like you're carrying the mantle for your father, who was a great comic.
02:04:48.000 Who else is...
02:04:49.000 Is that the word?
02:04:50.000 Carrying the mantle?
02:04:51.000 Why does that sound so dumb?
02:04:53.000 Right?
02:04:55.000 Carrying the mantle.
02:04:55.000 I'm thinking like mantelpiece.
02:04:57.000 Well, you don't carry a mantle.
02:04:58.000 Mantelpiece is the place where you put the mantle.
02:05:00.000 Yeah.
02:05:01.000 So mantle...
02:05:02.000 What is a mantle?
02:05:03.000 It's like an award.
02:05:04.000 Mickey mantle.
02:05:04.000 Isn't that the top?
02:05:05.000 No, that's the top of the fireplace is the mantle.
02:05:07.000 That's the mantelpiece.
02:05:08.000 That's the mantelpiece?
02:05:09.000 Yeah.
02:05:10.000 I think.
02:05:10.000 I only just know it as the mantle.
02:05:13.000 To hold a specific role or position along with any associated responsibilities.
02:05:20.000 And then what does mantelpiece mean?
02:05:23.000 Google mantelpiece.
02:05:24.000 I think mantelpiece is where you showcase your mantles.
02:05:31.000 I don't know.
02:05:32.000 What does mantelpiece mean?
02:05:34.000 I don't know mantelpiece.
02:05:35.000 Isn't mantelpiece the fucking top of a chimney?
02:05:40.000 You know, like a fireplace?
02:05:42.000 Isn't that a mantelpiece?
02:05:43.000 I thought that was just mantle.
02:05:44.000 Jamie, can you just Google mantelpiece?
02:05:46.000 I don't even know how to...
02:05:48.000 Right?
02:05:49.000 You know how to spell it.
02:05:50.000 Well, you're playing dumb.
02:05:51.000 Mantle piece.
02:05:51.000 Yeah, so that's what it is.
02:05:52.000 So a mantel piece is a structure, wood, marble, or stone above or around the fireplace.
02:05:58.000 You guys are acting like I'm crazy.
02:05:59.000 I've never heard of it.
02:06:00.000 But I think they've shown it.
02:06:01.000 Just trust me and Google it next time instead of undermining my confidence.
02:06:05.000 I was terrified that you were going to be right.
02:06:07.000 No, I was more like, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be spelling piece the way I think to spell it.
02:06:10.000 If it's two words.
02:06:11.000 So complicated, Jamie.
02:06:13.000 How'd you get through it?
02:06:14.000 I mean, but I think people shorten it to mantle.
02:06:19.000 Is that what it is?
02:06:20.000 When you grew up, was it mantle?
02:06:22.000 I've never heard anyone call mantelpiece.
02:06:25.000 I've never even heard that in my life.
02:06:26.000 Well, maybe it's because I did construction a lot as a kid, but it was always mantelpiece.
02:06:31.000 I don't know.
02:06:32.000 I never heard mantelpiece either.
02:06:33.000 But I'm not, you know, I'm not fighting you on it.
02:06:35.000 Obviously, it's a thing.
02:06:37.000 You know, wood-burning fireplaces in the house, they're fucking amazing, right?
02:06:42.000 Yeah, my parents have one.
02:06:43.000 It's delightful.
02:06:44.000 One of the worst contributors to pollution.
02:06:47.000 One of the worst.
02:06:48.000 If you're in a neighborhood and everyone has a burning fire of wood in their fucking house, it's just smoke everywhere.
02:06:58.000 It's like you basically, the town has a brush fire.
02:07:02.000 But I mean, it can't be worse than a 747 flying across the neighborhood.
02:07:06.000 Really?
02:07:06.000 Oh yeah, it's worse.
02:07:08.000 Oh, yeah.
02:07:08.000 Yeah, forest fires?
02:07:10.000 You remember one of those forest fires in Canada?
02:07:12.000 Remember how bad New York was?
02:07:14.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:07:14.000 That's real bad for you.
02:07:16.000 Sure.
02:07:17.000 Real bad.
02:07:18.000 That's smoke.
02:07:19.000 Right.
02:07:20.000 Burning wood smoke.
02:07:22.000 The jet is like up in the sky and it's dispersed by winds.
02:07:26.000 It's not good, but you're not like getting it in the face.
02:07:30.000 Right.
02:07:30.000 Yeah, good point.
02:07:31.000 You're getting that smoke in your face, man.
02:07:33.000 No, because it's going up the fucking flute.
02:07:36.000 And then to the sky.
02:07:38.000 No, it's going up like this and then it settles down everywhere.
02:07:42.000 It's like a fog in the neighborhood.
02:07:44.000 That's why you smell it everywhere.
02:07:46.000 It just depends on how many fireplaces you have, how close the houses are together.
02:07:50.000 But I never even thought about it until like two years ago.
02:07:53.000 I was reading this article about the amount of air pollution that comes from wood-burning stoves.
02:07:59.000 And I think it was California that outlawed wood-burning stoves.
02:08:04.000 Or wood-burning fireplaces, rather.
02:08:07.000 I don't think you could build a new house with a wood-burning fireplace anymore in California.
02:08:11.000 Now what about campfires?
02:08:12.000 Those must be horrible too, right?
02:08:14.000 Terrible.
02:08:14.000 Terrible.
02:08:15.000 Terrible.
02:08:16.000 But campfires is like, there's one little fire, and it's, you know, hopefully you're fucking smart, you know what you're doing, it's not too windy, and you know how to make it in a clearing and all that, so you don't light the fucking whole woods on fire.
02:08:27.000 Right.
02:08:28.000 But yeah, it's not good.
02:08:30.000 You know, the real bad thing is obviously forest fires.
02:08:33.000 Forest fires, wildfires, when those things get going, like, entire towns are blanketed with smoke for weeks.
02:08:40.000 Yeah, it was crazy.
02:08:40.000 I mean, I was in New York earlier this summer or spring, I think it was summer, and it was fucking wild.
02:08:45.000 You couldn't see the buildings.
02:08:46.000 The weird thing was it was like an orange color.
02:08:49.000 Yeah.
02:08:49.000 Everybody was speculating, what are they burning?
02:08:52.000 That was when the tinfoil hatters were talking about, like, there's a bunch of chemicals that were missing from some train.
02:08:58.000 You know, do you know about that story?
02:09:00.000 There's some toxic chemicals that were missing, like, they're burning the toxic chemicals up in Canada!
02:09:05.000 No, I don't get a lot of good conspiracy theories.
02:09:08.000 How come?
02:09:09.000 Baseball talk's in your head.
02:09:10.000 I'm all baseball.
02:09:11.000 I'm Scorsese baseball, baby.
02:09:13.000 I like to live a nice, innocent life.
02:09:15.000 Good for you.
02:09:16.000 Just cruising along.
02:09:17.000 Good for you.
02:09:17.000 Writing bits, watching sports.
02:09:20.000 This guy's orange for whatever reason.
02:09:23.000 Who cares?
02:09:23.000 Well, because the sun is behind it.
02:09:25.000 There's sun and smoke, so it makes orange.
02:09:28.000 The sun is orange.
02:09:29.000 I've colored.
02:09:31.000 It's a big...
02:09:32.000 I've never seen that orange.
02:09:33.000 Well, it's yellow, whatever.
02:09:34.000 I've never seen forest fires that orange.
02:09:36.000 The sun's not yellow, it's chicken.
02:09:39.000 It's white?
02:09:40.000 Bob Dylan.
02:09:40.000 It's white.
02:09:40.000 What is?
02:09:41.000 The sun?
02:09:41.000 Yeah.
02:09:42.000 Yeah.
02:09:42.000 It's what you're getting through the blue of the sky and all the...
02:09:46.000 That's what makes it look yellow.
02:09:47.000 Well, whatever.
02:09:48.000 That's another conspiracy theory.
02:09:49.000 But the...
02:09:50.000 That orange smoke...
02:09:52.000 Show me some photos of what that looks like.
02:09:54.000 The smoke that was in New York City.
02:09:57.000 Because it looks crazy orange.
02:09:59.000 Like, almost like...
02:10:01.000 Like you're burning Cheetos.
02:10:03.000 But the sunset is orange.
02:10:05.000 So the sun's setting and you got smoke and so it becomes orangey.
02:10:09.000 Maybe.
02:10:10.000 But I don't think it was during sunset that this was happening.
02:10:13.000 So what do you think?
02:10:13.000 Like people ran down and threw chemicals in the fire?
02:10:16.000 No, I think it might be just whatever the kind of wood that's burning.
02:10:21.000 What kind of, you know, what's getting burnt?
02:10:24.000 I don't know.
02:10:25.000 I really have no idea.
02:10:27.000 All right.
02:10:28.000 You ever see how many fucking trees are in Canada?
02:10:31.000 There's a lot of trees.
02:10:33.000 There's like...
02:10:34.000 See, that's what it looked like.
02:10:34.000 Some amount of billion trees.
02:10:36.000 So this is 1.30pm, 1.45pm, 2pm.
02:10:41.000 That's unusual, dude.
02:10:42.000 Yeah.
02:10:43.000 That's not just the sun.
02:10:45.000 That's unusual.
02:10:46.000 Whatever the fuck that is, that's very unusual for it to look like that.
02:10:50.000 Go to the last part of the frame, Jimmy.
02:10:54.000 So this is what it looks like as it blows in at 11.30, 12.30, 1.00, 1.15, 1.30, 1.45, like right there.
02:11:02.000 Stop at 2. Yeah, that's bad.
02:11:04.000 That's not normal.
02:11:05.000 No.
02:11:06.000 That's a dark orange at 2 p.m., so that's not like sunset.
02:11:11.000 It's weird.
02:11:13.000 I mean, I don't know why that smoke is orange.
02:11:18.000 But it's fucking weird.
02:11:19.000 So that's when the conspiracy theories come in.
02:11:21.000 Right.
02:11:22.000 There's hundreds of thousands of gallons mixed.
02:11:25.000 They're trying to poison us.
02:11:27.000 Depopulation!
02:11:29.000 Do you believe it?
02:11:31.000 No.
02:11:32.000 I don't believe it, but I don't know.
02:11:34.000 I mean, I don't know if something else burnt up there they're not telling us about.
02:11:38.000 I mean, it's Canada.
02:11:40.000 Yeah, you never know.
02:11:41.000 Do you trust them?
02:11:42.000 Who?
02:11:43.000 Canadians?
02:11:44.000 I trust the people.
02:11:45.000 I like hockey.
02:11:45.000 I like the hockey too.
02:11:46.000 I like Jim Carrey.
02:11:47.000 I like the people.
02:11:48.000 The people are awesome.
02:11:49.000 Yeah, they're the best.
02:11:50.000 The people running the country that are a problem.
02:11:52.000 I don't really know much about them.
02:11:53.000 I think we should build a wall.
02:11:54.000 Fuck it, let's do it.
02:11:55.000 Build a wall.
02:11:56.000 We've got a lot of wood.
02:11:57.000 It's all wood up there.
02:11:58.000 If it catches fire though, it'll be like so fucking orange.
02:12:01.000 Just make a ditch next to the wood so the fire doesn't spread.
02:12:04.000 That's not bad.
02:12:06.000 No, I love Canada.
02:12:07.000 I looked it up one time because my father-in-law once said there must be two trillion trees in the world.
02:12:13.000 What do you think the number is?
02:12:15.000 In the whole world?
02:12:16.000 Yeah.
02:12:18.000 Hmm.
02:12:20.000 I think he went high.
02:12:21.000 I believe it's less than that.
02:12:22.000 I'm going to say 1.7 trillion trees.
02:12:24.000 It's a total guess.
02:12:26.000 I think it's in the billions.
02:12:27.000 I'm going to say it's like 400 billion trees.
02:12:30.000 I bet it's more than that.
02:12:32.000 I think I remember.
02:12:33.000 But I also thought fucking that lady had a mustache.
02:12:37.000 You're both wrong.
02:12:38.000 What is it?
02:12:39.000 3.04 trillion.
02:12:41.000 Wow.
02:12:42.000 That's more.
02:12:43.000 See, I knew he was off, but really he went low.
02:12:46.000 Wow.
02:12:47.000 Well, maybe when he said it, it was that number.
02:12:49.000 I mean, this was like three years ago.
02:12:51.000 Well, this is the thing.
02:12:52.000 This is the crazy thing about this whole climate change discussion and one of the things that people conveniently like to ignore.
02:12:59.000 This is like one of the greenest periods in recorded history.
02:13:05.000 Wouldn't you think we're cutting down all the trees and there's less trees, there's less green than ever before?
02:13:10.000 No.
02:13:11.000 Carbon dioxide is food for plants.
02:13:13.000 And there's more plants now than there have been in the last 20 plus years.
02:13:19.000 When they say the greening of Earth because of climate change, Google that.
02:13:23.000 What percentage more green is the Earth today than 50 years ago?
02:13:29.000 Is that probably because there's more rain and shit?
02:13:32.000 More carbon dioxide.
02:13:34.000 Yeah, literally it's food for them.
02:13:36.000 But there's huge forest fires, all these places like Greece that they didn't used to be.
02:13:40.000 Yeah, but that was man-made.
02:13:41.000 This is the other thing they keep talking about with all this climate change stuff.
02:13:44.000 Yeah, there's definitely been forest fires, but a shit ton of them are man-made.
02:13:49.000 A shit ton of them are accidents.
02:13:52.000 The one in Hawaii, power lines fell over.
02:13:54.000 A lot of it's bad maintenance.
02:13:56.000 The Hawaii one's definitely bad maintenance.
02:13:58.000 They didn't chop down the dry grass near the power lines.
02:14:01.000 They also need to bury power lines.
02:14:02.000 That's fucking stupid.
02:14:04.000 Especially in places you got high winds, bury your fucking power lines.
02:14:07.000 Look what happened.
02:14:09.000 The United States should take care of that too, by the way, right?
02:14:12.000 And then there's also forest management.
02:14:15.000 You're supposed to go into these forests and take out all the dead wood.
02:14:19.000 Right.
02:14:19.000 Controlled burns and all that shit.
02:14:20.000 Yeah, but they have to take it out.
02:14:21.000 They remove it.
02:14:22.000 And it's valuable.
02:14:23.000 They can do stuff with that wood.
02:14:25.000 Right.
02:14:25.000 So they need to log the dead wood out of the forest.
02:14:28.000 They were talking about that during the Trump administration.
02:14:33.000 He was blaming some of the fires they were having in California on poor management of the forests.
02:14:42.000 And then I was like, that sounds like a ridiculous thing.
02:14:45.000 And I talked to a guy who was actually...
02:14:48.000 Works with wildlife biology and it's like it's really critical to do.
02:14:51.000 Right.
02:14:52.000 Like that's why they do control burns.
02:14:54.000 That's why they do get rid of, you know, dead wood.
02:14:57.000 Like if you don't do it and then you have something comes in like the bark beetle and it kills like a giant percentage of the trees.
02:15:03.000 Carbon dioxide fertilization greening earth study finds.
02:15:07.000 From a quarter to half of Earth's vegetated lands have showed significant greening over the last 35 years, largely due to the rising levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide, according to a new study published in the Journal of Nature Climate Change in April 25th.
02:15:26.000 International team of 32 offers in 24 institutions in eight countries led the effort which involved using satellite data from NASA's moderate resolution imaging spectrometer.
02:15:36.000 Ooh, that sounds cool.
02:15:37.000 And the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's advanced very high resolution radiometer.
02:15:44.000 Instruments to help determine the leaf area index or amount of leaf cover over the planet's vegetated regions.
02:15:50.000 The greening represents an increase in leaves on plants and trees equivalent in an area to two times the continental United States.
02:15:59.000 Great.
02:16:00.000 Yeah.
02:16:01.000 They don't say that.
02:16:03.000 Because if they say that, then people go, well, wait, this is not better.
02:16:06.000 This is not good.
02:16:07.000 Shut up.
02:16:09.000 Climate change is bad and you need to go electric.
02:16:13.000 Are you not scared of climate change and all the high temperatures and all that shit and the storms and the fires and all that business?
02:16:19.000 I'm always concerned about weather because it's unpredictable.
02:16:22.000 Right.
02:16:22.000 And the thing about climate change...
02:16:25.000 Is there's, for sure, humans are affecting it.
02:16:27.000 To deny that seems crazy.
02:16:29.000 We're fucking burning fossil fuels.
02:16:31.000 But also, it's never been stable, like, ever in history.
02:16:35.000 Right.
02:16:36.000 In the history of the Earth, it's always done this crazy shit.
02:16:38.000 And there's been massive ice ages where we weren't burning nothing.
02:16:43.000 And then there's been, like, the dinosaur times, where it was way fucking hotter.
02:16:48.000 And there's been times on Earth where there was no ice in the polar caps.
02:16:51.000 And there's been times on Earth where there's way more, and half of North America was covered in over a mile of ice.
02:16:57.000 Right.
02:16:58.000 So we'll be alright.
02:16:59.000 I'm scared of ice ages, dude.
02:17:01.000 No, we'll be fine.
02:17:03.000 Yeah, maybe.
02:17:04.000 But that's the thing to be scared of.
02:17:07.000 Really?
02:17:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:17:09.000 I feel like I hear a lot more concerned scientists about, you know, heat than ice.
02:17:17.000 Right, because that's the subject du jour.
02:17:20.000 That's the thing you worry about more than terrorism.
02:17:22.000 Right, but this isn't...
02:17:23.000 I'm not talking like NBC. I'm talking like NASA fucking Stephen Hawking.
02:17:28.000 I know he's dead, but, you know...
02:17:29.000 I don't think he was on the climate change thing.
02:17:32.000 He was.
02:17:32.000 He was paying attention much more to the whole universe, I think.
02:17:35.000 But he was worried about it, I think.
02:17:36.000 I heard him mention it somewhere.
02:17:37.000 Well, it is a concern.
02:17:40.000 Like, if the Earth gets warmer, it is a concern.
02:17:44.000 But if the Earth gets cooler, that's a concern too.
02:17:47.000 Sure.
02:17:47.000 It's just like life on Earth is like insanely unpredictable, you know?
02:17:52.000 And they definitely need to figure out what kind of effect we're having on it, but they need to be like completely honest about what they know and what the data shows and what the problem is and how to fix it.
02:18:02.000 Right.
02:18:03.000 For sure there's a pollution problem, for sure.
02:18:06.000 Like the fact that we ignore what we're doing in the ocean is crazy.
02:18:10.000 Yeah, that's what I always thought.
02:18:11.000 It's like, even if you're not concerned with climate change, it's like, well, aren't you interested in making the air cleaner and the water?
02:18:18.000 I mean, shouldn't we have a cleaner place to live?
02:18:22.000 100%.
02:18:22.000 That should be everybody's concern, to eliminate pollution.
02:18:27.000 But yeah, my buddy lives in Seattle, and at one point they have this huge park.
02:18:32.000 I have many huge parks there, but there was one park in particular, Lincoln Park, and they were going to cut down like 80 trees and all these environmentalists.
02:18:40.000 People were going crazy and like stop it, and they were chaining themselves.
02:18:43.000 And they were like, no, no, we're forest people.
02:18:47.000 We need to get rid of these for whatever reason that's beyond me.
02:18:50.000 But they were like, there's 7,000 trees in this park.
02:18:54.000 We're getting rid of 80 because they're, whatever, problematic.
02:18:57.000 I don't know the science behind it.
02:18:58.000 They're like, we're not building a parking lot.
02:19:00.000 We're not just chomping down and building a skyscraper.
02:19:03.000 Like, we know what we're doing.
02:19:04.000 Meanwhile, these idiots are gluing their hands to monkey bars.
02:19:06.000 Yeah.
02:19:07.000 All those guys in the U.S. Open.
02:19:08.000 He glued his feet.
02:19:09.000 Did you see that guy?
02:19:10.000 See the guy who did it on a Formula One track?
02:19:12.000 No.
02:19:12.000 He glued his hand to the ground to the track to stop the race.
02:19:16.000 And they just ripped his hand off the fucking concrete.
02:19:19.000 They couldn't do it.
02:19:20.000 And then this guy just grabs him and rips his hand off.
02:19:22.000 And you see the guy like...
02:19:23.000 It's like a Home Alone fucking trick.
02:19:26.000 Have you seen it?
02:19:26.000 No, I haven't seen it.
02:19:27.000 But it's like we were talking about earlier.
02:19:29.000 It is people that think they're doing the right thing, but they're really just losing people from the cause.
02:19:35.000 Because you're like, well, why are you interrupting my fucking tennis match?
02:19:37.000 It makes me want to go spray fucking hair and let my car run all night.
02:19:40.000 Well, they're just people that this is their quest.
02:19:43.000 You know, this is the thing that gives them value.
02:19:45.000 This is the thing that makes them feel like they're useful in the world.
02:19:49.000 Right.
02:19:49.000 To run out onto the tennis court and stop the match because we've got to...
02:19:52.000 Climate change!
02:19:54.000 They're just crazy people, man, and they're co-opted by this movement.
02:19:59.000 It's also funny because the US Open is like 80% of people take the 7 train there.
02:20:03.000 It's actually quite a green event.
02:20:05.000 Yeah, and all the people that are green activists flew there in a private jet.
02:20:11.000 It's all bonkers.
02:20:12.000 But they think they're helping.
02:20:14.000 Yeah, they asked Bill Gates about that.
02:20:16.000 I think the overall good that I do is...
02:20:20.000 Okay that I drive a private jet.
02:20:23.000 The overall good that I do for climate change.
02:20:26.000 You're very good at impressions and voices.
02:20:28.000 You don't get enough credit.
02:20:30.000 You had a good Trump earlier.
02:20:32.000 You did some other British voice.
02:20:34.000 They're just half decent.
02:20:35.000 I can only do a few voices legitimately.
02:20:37.000 I don't have a good range.
02:20:39.000 I can do Yoda.
02:20:42.000 Hope you I can.
02:20:44.000 Whoa!
02:20:44.000 We can do that one.
02:20:45.000 Holy shit, you're just sitting on this talent?
02:20:46.000 Yeah, that one's easy.
02:20:48.000 And Miss Piggy, if you can do Yoda, you can do Miss Piggy.
02:20:50.000 Similar.
02:20:50.000 Frank Oz.
02:20:52.000 This is very impressive.
02:20:56.000 You got a Chewbacca?
02:21:00.000 I mean, this is unbelievable.
02:21:02.000 Chewbacca's an easy one, though.
02:21:08.000 Chewbacca was the most preposterous creature in all of Star Wars.
02:21:11.000 Because here you got this giant monkey thing with fur covering over his dick.
02:21:18.000 No furry thing has fur covering its dick, but he conveniently is dickless.
02:21:23.000 Also, he's got no pants on, and he's got the hairiest ass of all time.
02:21:29.000 How does he shit, and how does he wash it off, and how does he take that bare ass and sit down in the cockpit?
02:21:35.000 That's a good point.
02:21:36.000 He should have a pair of shorts.
02:21:37.000 He should have a diaper on.
02:21:39.000 He can't even talk.
02:21:41.000 What is he?
02:21:42.000 He's a Wookiee.
02:21:43.000 He's a Wookiee, right?
02:21:44.000 He's a big Wookiee.
02:21:44.000 Where's his shit?
02:21:45.000 Where are they storing?
02:21:46.000 Does he use the regular bathroom on the fucking millennial?
02:21:49.000 Well, it's a 90-minute movie.
02:21:50.000 You can't have a shit thing.
02:21:52.000 I want answers, though.
02:21:53.000 What if you're sitting on that fucking same seat that Chewbacca was just on with his crusty ass?
02:21:59.000 I wouldn't like that.
02:22:00.000 My buddy just had another, my friend Matt Wayne, who I mentioned earlier, had another point.
02:22:03.000 He has like bullets across his chest.
02:22:05.000 A bandolier.
02:22:06.000 He's got like shotgun shells.
02:22:07.000 Why does he have a gun?
02:22:09.000 It's a bandolier.
02:22:10.000 So it's a thing that contains cartridges.
02:22:13.000 If you look at the bandolier, they're cartridges for his rifle.
02:22:17.000 It's a laser rifle.
02:22:18.000 They're all shooting lasers.
02:22:19.000 No one else has cartridges.
02:22:21.000 It probably has power.
02:22:23.000 It's a good point.
02:22:25.000 Yeah, no one else has that.
02:22:26.000 But they have pistols.
02:22:27.000 And doesn't he have a rifle?
02:22:29.000 They have pistols, but they're like...
02:22:30.000 Yeah, he has a rifle.
02:22:32.000 So those things are cartridges.
02:22:34.000 They look like cartridges to me.
02:22:36.000 Yeah.
02:22:37.000 Oh, that's interesting.
02:22:37.000 They're different.
02:22:38.000 So that one on your right, Jamie, that looks like a costume that you buy.
02:22:43.000 That looks fake.
02:22:44.000 What is that?
02:22:46.000 Yeah.
02:22:47.000 Maybe he wears different stuff in different movies.
02:22:50.000 Yeah, maybe he doesn't have bullets.
02:22:50.000 Because that's what it looks like to me.
02:22:52.000 The flat things is what it looks like to me.
02:22:55.000 Yeah.
02:22:55.000 Maybe it's a bad point.
02:22:56.000 He's got a crossbow?
02:22:58.000 That's ridiculous.
02:22:58.000 No, this is too modern.
02:23:00.000 That's not Chewbacca.
02:23:01.000 He's got a mustache.
02:23:01.000 That looks like AI stuff.
02:23:03.000 Yes, it does.
02:23:04.000 That looks like AI stuff.
02:23:05.000 Did he have a kind of a crossbow?
02:23:07.000 Now I'm thinking he kind of did.
02:23:08.000 No, he didn't have a crossbow.
02:23:09.000 I think he kind of did.
02:23:10.000 I think he got a crossbow that shot lasers.
02:23:12.000 Get the hell out of here.
02:23:13.000 He didn't have a crossbow.
02:23:14.000 Yeah, no, I think he did.
02:23:15.000 A bowcaster.
02:23:16.000 What?
02:23:16.000 A bowcaster, yeah.
02:23:18.000 So it didn't pull back like a bow.
02:23:21.000 But there was like something, like you didn't have to like reload it with every shot.
02:23:26.000 But I think, what did it do?
02:23:29.000 Yeah, see?
02:23:30.000 He had a fucking crossbow.
02:23:31.000 No, none of these are in the movie.
02:23:32.000 Yes, it is.
02:23:33.000 Look, he's in, like, Michigan right there.
02:23:35.000 This house is back there.
02:23:36.000 They're ice fishing.
02:23:37.000 That's not Star Wars.
02:23:37.000 That's a toy to make it look like.
02:23:38.000 That's a toy.
02:23:39.000 Yeah, that's not...
02:23:39.000 They're ice fishing.
02:23:40.000 There you go, right here.
02:23:41.000 A bowcaster combines traditional craftsmanship with galactic technology.
02:23:45.000 Ah, see?
02:23:45.000 There you go.
02:23:46.000 Firing metal coral enclosed in plasma energy.
02:23:48.000 Yeah.
02:23:49.000 It does say it appears in Star Wars 4. So that's why he's got those things around his waist, or his shoulders, rather.
02:23:56.000 It's all been thought through.
02:24:02.000 Yeah.
02:24:03.000 The first movies, man, were fucking amazing.
02:24:06.000 When I was a kid, when Star Wars came out, I think we saw it like 13 times.
02:24:10.000 It was a thing with me and my friends.
02:24:12.000 Like, how many times can you see Star Wars?
02:24:14.000 Scrape up some money, go see Star Wars.
02:24:16.000 The Return of the Jedi is really silly.
02:24:19.000 I don't remember.
02:24:21.000 The Wookiees beat the fucking Imperial Army with rocks and stuff.
02:24:26.000 They're throwing sticks at them.
02:24:27.000 The Ewoks?
02:24:28.000 Yeah, the Ewoks.
02:24:29.000 Oh, the Ewoks.
02:24:30.000 They're the cute Wookiees.
02:24:31.000 Yeah, it was really silly.
02:24:32.000 They're rolling logs and they're all Emperor or whatever the fuck you call it.
02:24:37.000 Did you like Avatar?
02:24:38.000 I hated Avatar.
02:24:39.000 Really?
02:24:40.000 Yeah.
02:24:41.000 I just thought it was so heavy-handed.
02:24:43.000 I'm not a big...
02:24:45.000 Cartoony, well, purple things.
02:24:49.000 Blue people.
02:24:49.000 Blue people, and it just felt very like, we're fighting the war for the thing under the ground.
02:24:57.000 Which, you know, I was against Iraq War, but it felt so like...
02:25:01.000 Yeah.
02:25:03.000 The war!
02:25:04.000 I loved it.
02:25:05.000 Me too.
02:25:06.000 I like whatever you like, I like.
02:25:09.000 I know that, but that's a suspension of disbelief, and it's a comic book movie, essentially.
02:25:13.000 Yeah, I'm just not...
02:25:14.000 That's not my scene.
02:25:15.000 I love comic book movies.
02:25:16.000 I love, like, the Avengers and the Hulk and Spider-Man and all that stuff.
02:25:19.000 They're fun.
02:25:20.000 But I grew up as a kid reading comic books.
02:25:22.000 So when they became legitimate...
02:25:24.000 Like, when I was a kid, I was really into comic books, and the only thing you could get was, like, the Spider-Man cartoon on TV. There was no, like, real...
02:25:31.000 There was the Incredible Hulk when it became a TV show later.
02:25:36.000 But there was nothing like the Avengers.
02:25:38.000 There's nothing like these movies.
02:25:39.000 There was only Superman.
02:25:41.000 And Superman to me was like DC Comics.
02:25:43.000 And DC Comics were like back before there was a typewriter.
02:25:48.000 There was something about their superheroes.
02:25:51.000 They just didn't appeal to me.
02:25:53.000 They were more like 1950s superheroes.
02:25:57.000 Whereas...
02:25:58.000 The Marvel comics to me, where they were like way more complex, like Phoenix from the X-Men, like she was basically a god.
02:26:08.000 And there was just, there was like so many, like Doctor Doom and fucking Doctor Strange, the Silver Surfer, they were cool.
02:26:18.000 There were different kinds of superheroes.
02:26:20.000 I get it, you know what I mean?
02:26:21.000 Yeah, you were a gay kid, that's cool.
02:26:23.000 That's cool.
02:26:24.000 You changed and you evolved.
02:26:27.000 No, I just never...
02:26:28.000 I like the Christopher Nolan Batmans.
02:26:30.000 Oh, yeah.
02:26:30.000 Those were fun.
02:26:31.000 I like those a lot.
02:26:33.000 Those are good.
02:26:34.000 Who's your favorite Batman?
02:26:34.000 Who's the best Batman?
02:26:36.000 I really like Christian Bale.
02:26:38.000 I mean, I love Keaton.
02:26:39.000 I mean, I grew up with Keaton.
02:26:40.000 That was exciting, but Christian Bale, I really...
02:26:42.000 He's the most believable Batman.
02:26:43.000 Yeah, he's just a world-class actor, and I liked his fucking Batman voice.
02:26:47.000 His Batman voice.
02:26:48.000 But he's also jacked.
02:26:50.000 He was the first Batman to be jacked.
02:26:51.000 Yeah, no, he's great.
02:26:53.000 And those fucking movies rule.
02:26:54.000 I was just talking about that.
02:26:55.000 I just re-watched Dark Knight on the plane.
02:26:57.000 And Heath Ledger is like unrecognizable in that movie.
02:27:00.000 And he's so good that he actually feels like because you can't see any Heath Ledger in him, it feels like that's a fucking weird entity thing.
02:27:09.000 Like the Tim Burton one, you're like, oh, there's Jack Nicholson with makeup on.
02:27:14.000 The Heath Ledger one, it feels like a fucking weird guy.
02:27:18.000 Joaquin Phoenix is the scariest one.
02:27:20.000 Because that one's the most realistic, the most probable.
02:27:23.000 Yeah.
02:27:24.000 And the weird thing is, like, when that movie came out, it was before society fell apart.
02:27:30.000 Right.
02:27:31.000 And then that movie showed, like, this ultimate collapse of society, the rebellion of the underclass, taking things down and burning to the ground, this one fucking maniac.
02:27:40.000 Leading the charge.
02:27:41.000 Very Antifa.
02:27:42.000 Right?
02:27:43.000 And then all that stuff started happening during the George Floyd riots and the chaos in the streets and when bricks would just show up on the corner of streets and people would be throwing them through windows and the cops would stand by when people were looting.
02:27:54.000 Things we'd never seen in our life.
02:27:56.000 It was very Joker-esque.
02:27:58.000 And that dude...
02:27:59.000 Was an amazing Joker.
02:28:01.000 He looked fucking insane in that movie.
02:28:04.000 Well, he's another just fucking incredible actor.
02:28:07.000 But there's like three Jokers now, right now.
02:28:08.000 There's like the Joaquin Joker and then there's...
02:28:11.000 Jared Leto.
02:28:11.000 Jared Leto and then there's the new one.
02:28:14.000 There's a new one?
02:28:14.000 The Batman.
02:28:15.000 The last scene.
02:28:16.000 Who's the new Joker?
02:28:17.000 That actor who's great.
02:28:18.000 He's in Killing of a Sacred Deer, which fucking rules.
02:28:22.000 Yeah, they're all...
02:28:23.000 I forget his name.
02:28:23.000 That's the most complex character, is the Heath Ledger Joker and the Joaquin Joker.
02:28:32.000 Those are the...
02:28:32.000 I mean, those are wild.
02:28:36.000 Who is that guy?
02:28:37.000 What's his name?
02:28:37.000 He's fantastic.
02:28:38.000 Can we see this?
02:28:39.000 I haven't seen this.
02:28:41.000 It's a deleted scene.
02:28:43.000 I want you to respect it.
02:28:49.000 Who's the Batman here?
02:28:51.000 Robert Pattinson.
02:28:52.000 Oh, that's right.
02:29:02.000 It's a long scene.
02:29:10.000 They barely show his face.
02:29:12.000 I think they're saving him for the second movie.
02:29:14.000 Oh, interesting.
02:29:16.000 Because they just tease it at the end of the first one.
02:29:18.000 There.
02:29:19.000 Oh, interesting.
02:29:20.000 Ooh, that's fun.
02:29:21.000 It looks good.
02:29:22.000 I like it.
02:29:23.000 What's that actor's name?
02:29:24.000 I will look up.
02:29:25.000 He's really good.
02:29:26.000 Do you ever get into those Yorgos movies, Killing of a Sacred Deer?
02:29:29.000 No.
02:29:29.000 Oh, you gotta check it out.
02:29:31.000 He's a Greek filmmaker.
02:29:32.000 I don't know how to say his last name.
02:29:33.000 Yorgos something.
02:29:34.000 So I have to read?
02:29:35.000 You're gonna make me read?
02:29:36.000 No, no.
02:29:37.000 I mean, he has a movie called Dogtooth that's amazing, and that is in Greek.
02:29:40.000 You'd have to read that one.
02:29:41.000 But Killing of a Sacred Deer is Nicole Kidman and Colin Farrell.
02:29:46.000 What was this?
02:29:47.000 It's fucking great.
02:29:48.000 Really?
02:29:48.000 Like 2015, 2016, maybe?
02:29:50.000 I've never heard of it.
02:29:51.000 I'm going to write it down so I watch it.
02:29:52.000 I'm always looking for something to watch.
02:29:54.000 You'd love it.
02:29:54.000 It's a real...
02:29:56.000 Alicia Silverstone is in it.
02:29:58.000 Killing of a Sacred Deer.
02:29:59.000 Yeah, it's really fucked up.
02:30:01.000 It's kind of funny.
02:30:04.000 Yeah, that's the kid who's also the Joker.
02:30:06.000 I think his name's Barry Keegan.
02:30:08.000 I just saw it for a second.
02:30:09.000 He's really good, but it's a really fucked up, disturbing movie.
02:30:14.000 This guy, Yorgos, makes these really disturbing movies.
02:30:16.000 That's amazing.
02:30:17.000 I never even heard of it.
02:30:18.000 Oh, it's awesome.
02:30:19.000 Yeah, highly recommend.
02:30:22.000 That's a fun poster.
02:30:23.000 Okay.
02:30:24.000 Yeah, check it out.
02:30:24.000 I don't know how to say his name.
02:30:25.000 Lan Themos.
02:30:26.000 He's got a new movie coming out with Emma Stone.
02:30:28.000 You're a real movie buff, huh?
02:30:30.000 I mean, I'm a lover of movies.
02:30:32.000 I don't know.
02:30:33.000 I don't know if I'm a buff.
02:30:34.000 You find yourself, like, wanting to create your own?
02:30:37.000 Yeah, I mean, I did the movie with Louis.
02:30:39.000 Right, but I mean, like, from scratch?
02:30:42.000 Yeah, definitely.
02:30:43.000 I want to do more.
02:30:43.000 I'm making a documentary right now about a comedian named Tom Dustin, a buddy of mine, that we're almost finished with.
02:30:51.000 In fact, I wanted to ask you, I asked Jamie earlier.
02:30:53.000 There's like a four-second clip.
02:30:54.000 He runs a club in Key West.
02:30:55.000 I think I already talked about it here.
02:30:57.000 And we have a clip from this show that's like four seconds.
02:31:00.000 It's literally just you saying, is there a club in Key West?
02:31:02.000 And Ari's like, yeah, it's a small club.
02:31:04.000 Yeah, I know Tom Rhodes worked there.
02:31:06.000 I was following him on Instagram, and I saw he was at Key West.
02:31:08.000 I was like, oh, that looks like a fun place to go to.
02:31:12.000 Yeah, it's fucking great, and my buddy Tom Dustin, we started together in Boston, and we were drunk and wild, and I kind of got sober and went to New York, and then he kept drinking and went to Key West, and it's kind of the story of our little paths, and he's just a hilarious,
02:31:27.000 amazing comedian.
02:31:28.000 And he owns the club?
02:31:29.000 He co-owns the club and runs it.
02:31:32.000 He emcees and books it and he's living the Key West life.
02:31:35.000 I like that.
02:31:36.000 He's a fascinating guy and he's fucking hilarious.
02:31:39.000 There's a bunch of stand-up in it and great stories.
02:31:41.000 How often do they have to evacuate?
02:31:43.000 I don't think that often.
02:31:44.000 Really?
02:31:45.000 No, I don't think they've evacuated in a long time.
02:31:47.000 Hurricanes don't get them?
02:31:48.000 They do, but not that often.
02:31:50.000 Every few years, I think.
02:31:51.000 I think they just wait out the storms.
02:31:52.000 They have weird rules.
02:31:53.000 They can't build high-rises there and all that shit, but...
02:31:57.000 Can they make hurricane-proof houses?
02:31:59.000 One does every six years.
02:32:00.000 Yeah, there you go.
02:32:01.000 It's been a while.
02:32:02.000 Can you show me the clip?
02:32:04.000 We'll end with that.
02:32:05.000 Show me the clip from this documentary.
02:32:07.000 I haven't, I don't...
02:32:08.000 Do I have it?
02:32:09.000 I don't have it.
02:32:10.000 Yeah, shit, it's on my phone.
02:32:11.000 I should have sent it ahead.
02:32:12.000 I fucked up.
02:32:13.000 It's on your phone?
02:32:13.000 Yeah.
02:32:14.000 Yeah, send it to Jamie.
02:32:15.000 If you can, can you drop it to me or is it a link?
02:32:17.000 Let me see.
02:32:19.000 Oh, God.
02:32:19.000 I should have done this before.
02:32:20.000 Don't worry about it.
02:32:21.000 Don't worry about it.
02:32:21.000 If it takes too long, we'll just edit it.
02:32:23.000 I fucked up.
02:32:24.000 Don't sweat it at all.
02:32:26.000 Let me see if I can find it.
02:32:28.000 While you're doing this, let me just tell you how much fun it's been having you in town.
02:32:31.000 Oh, man.
02:32:31.000 I enjoyed it.
02:32:32.000 Thank you.
02:32:33.000 I enjoyed it.
02:32:33.000 It's cool.
02:32:34.000 One of the cool things about the comedy mothership is when people come through and hang out for a few days.
02:32:41.000 And just, it's just like every week, you know, and these comics that are coming up, they all get exposed to all these brilliant, like Colin was just here, and all the, I didn't get a chance to see him, I was too busy, but all the comics were here, it was just raving about how great he was,
02:32:57.000 and how much fun it was.
02:32:58.000 They said it was a master class, they said he's just brilliant on stage.
02:33:01.000 Well, Colin's the fucking best.
02:33:03.000 He's so underrated.
02:33:04.000 It's like him and Attell are so brilliant, but yet do not promote themselves at all.
02:33:11.000 Yeah, I think he's getting better at it, but yeah, he's truly a genius.
02:33:14.000 And that's a guy that's just always giving and always so thoughtful, always takes calls from comics.
02:33:20.000 Colin?
02:33:21.000 Yeah.
02:33:21.000 He's a sweetheart.
02:33:22.000 He's always been a sweetheart.
02:33:24.000 You know, in that show that he did...
02:33:27.000 Tough Crowd was really essentially one of, that was one of the beginnings of podcasting as well.
02:33:32.000 There's a few beginnings of podcasting, like the way we do it.
02:33:35.000 You do it, I do it, and you know, like all of our friends, you know, whether it's Legion of Skanks or Ari, or it's just shit talking.
02:33:44.000 Guys getting together and fucking around and hanging out.
02:33:46.000 And that was what Tough Crowd was.
02:33:48.000 You got a bunch of comics together, and they would all start fucking with each other and roasting and Patrice and Norton, and it was awesome.
02:33:55.000 I loved it.
02:33:56.000 I did it a couple of times, but every time I did it, I was like, God, I love this.
02:33:59.000 It's like a fucking amazing green room where there's cameras on you and you're all just hanging out.
02:34:04.000 Yeah, Colin really loves comics and the comic hang more than anybody.
02:34:09.000 I mean, he just is, he's pure comic.
02:34:10.000 And they really love him.
02:34:12.000 This is the thing, like, nobody hates Colin.
02:34:14.000 No.
02:34:15.000 Have you ever heard anybody say a bad thing about Colin Quinn?
02:34:18.000 I literally have not.
02:34:19.000 Never.
02:34:20.000 Never.
02:34:20.000 Never.
02:34:21.000 But he's underrated, and I think when someone's that underrated, it's up to us to say, if you have a chance, Go see that guy.
02:34:30.000 Again, I've seen him in the past.
02:34:32.000 He's fucking brilliant.
02:34:32.000 I haven't seen this new set that he's doing, but everybody that was at the club was, like, universally ramped.
02:34:38.000 My friend Ahsan, he met Ahsan last night.
02:34:40.000 Yeah, yeah, he was hilarious also.
02:34:41.000 He's hilarious.
02:34:41.000 And he's a guy that's been beautiful watching him grow.
02:34:44.000 Because I met him when he was just starting out at the Comedy Store.
02:34:48.000 And then all of a sudden he's working, getting up in LA, and then he moves to Austin.
02:34:53.000 And now he's getting up multiple times a night.
02:34:56.000 Like, he's constantly getting up.
02:34:58.000 Because there's shows everywhere.
02:34:59.000 There's shows all over the place out here.
02:35:02.000 It's amazing watching people grow.
02:35:06.000 And he said that when he saw Colin, he said it might be one of the best hours he's ever seen in his life.
02:35:10.000 Yeah, no, Colin just keeps getting better.
02:35:12.000 It's really unbelievable.
02:35:13.000 I just did, I'm going to throw another plug out there.
02:35:15.000 I have a podcast, Mindful Metal Jacket.
02:35:16.000 I just had him on it, and I was asking him, like, he's gotten so much more.
02:35:20.000 What is your podcast called?
02:35:20.000 It's called Mindful Metal Jacket.
02:35:22.000 Oh.
02:35:22.000 And it's, you know, I'm bad at naming things.
02:35:25.000 No, that's a good name.
02:35:25.000 But I just had him on, and we just talked about how, what a creative outburst he's had in the last 10, 15 years.
02:35:32.000 What is he attributed to?
02:35:34.000 He just said he started organizing better, like really organizing his stuff and working towards having like, all right, this special is going to be about this thing and just organizing his material.
02:35:45.000 Well, he does kind of one-man show type specials, but with brilliant stand-up.
02:35:50.000 It's like really funny bits that are all organized on themes.
02:35:55.000 Yeah.
02:35:55.000 No, he's just a brilliant guy and just the best guy offstage.
02:36:01.000 Just super nice guy.
02:36:02.000 But that's the thing.
02:36:03.000 It's like he doesn't have any desire to be any bigger.
02:36:07.000 No, I don't think so.
02:36:08.000 All he's doing is just working on great work, but that's also why his work is so great, is because he's just concentrating on that, which I think is awesome.
02:36:17.000 That's like the most important part.
02:36:19.000 I can't figure out how to say this.
02:36:20.000 Eh.
02:36:20.000 Don't worry about it.
02:36:21.000 I was so excited to show it.
02:36:22.000 Send it to me later and I'll throw it up on Instagram.
02:36:24.000 Okay, yeah.
02:36:25.000 It's going to be great, though.
02:36:26.000 All right.
02:36:27.000 Joe List, you're the shit.
02:36:28.000 Appreciate you.
02:36:28.000 Thank you.
02:36:29.000 Can I throw my special out there?
02:36:30.000 Yes, please.
02:36:30.000 Also, brand new special, enough for everybody.
02:36:32.000 It's on YouTube.
02:36:33.000 And I got fucking demonetized for saying cunt.
02:36:35.000 Let's fucking go.
02:36:37.000 All right.
02:36:38.000 Social media, all that stuff.
02:36:39.000 What is it?
02:36:40.000 At JoeListComedy.
02:36:41.000 And then YouTube.
02:36:42.000 I got three specials on YouTube.
02:36:43.000 Three hours in three and a half years.
02:36:45.000 And go see them live.
02:36:46.000 Very, very funny.
02:36:47.000 Where are you going to be live next?
02:36:49.000 Skankfest.
02:36:50.000 Helium.
02:36:50.000 I'm at Skankfest.
02:36:51.000 I'm flying straight to Skankfest now.
02:36:52.000 I literally have my bags with me.
02:36:53.000 And then next weekend, Helium, October 5th through the 7th in Philadelphia.
02:36:56.000 Oh, that's a great room.
02:36:58.000 That's one of my favorite rooms of all time.
02:37:00.000 Yeah, I'm pumped.
02:37:00.000 I love the city.
02:37:01.000 Oh, such a good room.
02:37:02.000 I love the room.
02:37:02.000 And it's mostly sold, so...
02:37:04.000 You know what's a great...
02:37:05.000 Yeah, get in there.
02:37:06.000 You know what else is a great room?
02:37:07.000 Portland.
02:37:07.000 Portland.
02:37:08.000 Yeah, I was just there.
02:37:09.000 Oh, it's great.
02:37:09.000 Probably real good now.
02:37:11.000 It's like doing stand-up in a war zone.
02:37:12.000 It's fucking weird.
02:37:13.000 I went with a buddy who's from Portland.
02:37:15.000 He took me to like the neighborhoods that are still normal because we're like losing that city.
02:37:20.000 It's bad.
02:37:21.000 It's crazy.
02:37:21.000 All right.
02:37:22.000 Thank you, Joe.
02:37:22.000 Thank you.
02:37:23.000 Bye, everybody.