The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2050 - Ehsan Ahmad

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:13.000 What's up, brother?

00:00:14.000 How you doing?

00:00:15.000 Good to see you.

00:00:16.000 Glad to be here.

00:00:17.000 Glad to have you, finally, man.

00:00:19.000 Dude, I was probably around...

00:00:20.000 When was your first time on stage?

00:00:23.000 My first time on stage was in this place called Tommy T's in Livermore, California.

00:00:30.000 Oh, I know that place.

00:00:31.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:00:32.000 It was an open mic...

00:00:35.000 At 2012, end of 2012, early 2013. Yeah, that's when I started.

00:00:40.000 And I remember going up on stage, my first joke kind of hit, and I bombed the whole time.

00:00:46.000 But that one little hit was enough.

00:00:49.000 It was enough.

00:00:50.000 Do you remember what it was?

00:00:51.000 Yeah.

00:00:51.000 Oh, my name is Hasan Ahmad, and I know that's very 9-11-y.

00:00:54.000 That was my opening...

00:00:56.000 That was my opening line in comedy.

00:00:59.000 Wow.

00:01:00.000 So I probably met you around 2014 then.

00:01:04.000 2015 is when we met.

00:01:06.000 Okay.

00:01:06.000 Yeah.

00:01:07.000 And this is a story I tell to all the door guys on what it's like to be a door guy at a comedy club.

00:01:12.000 Because this is the first time we've ever had a conversation.

00:01:14.000 I was sitting by the back door.

00:01:17.000 And you had just stopped.

00:01:19.000 You just talked to all the new guys.

00:01:21.000 I've noticed that you do that.

00:01:23.000 And then you were showing me your phone and telling me your process and how you write and how you listen to every single set as you drove back home after the store.

00:01:30.000 And you talked to me for like 20 minutes.

00:01:33.000 And then you left and Curtis came up to me and was like, hey, so someone pooped in the bathroom and missed.

00:01:41.000 And I had to go clean it up.

00:01:43.000 And it was pure liquid.

00:01:45.000 Ugh! 0.97

00:01:48.000 Every time I kept wiping, more would come in.

00:01:52.000 It was...

00:01:54.000 Unreal!

00:01:55.000 Unreal!

00:01:56.000 Yeah, and I told you, I tell all the door guys, that's what it's like working at a comedy club.

00:02:00.000 Wow.

00:02:01.000 Especially at a high-level one.

00:02:03.000 You get these really cool moments, and then you also learn your place a little bit. 0.98

00:02:08.000 I didn't know door people have to clean shit. 0.99

00:02:10.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:02:11.000 Really?

00:02:12.000 Don't they have, like, a janitor or something?

00:02:14.000 Not during the night.

00:02:15.000 Oh, wow.

00:02:16.000 We made it crazy.

00:02:18.000 This was at, like, 7.30.

00:02:19.000 It was, like, way too early to be pooping and missing.

00:02:23.000 Oh my god.

00:02:23.000 There's something about bar poop.

00:02:26.000 Poops when people are drinking.

00:02:28.000 It's just going to be so chaos. 0.87

00:02:30.000 Like every time I've ever gone into a bar bathroom and there's dudes in there shitting, it's just like, oh my god, I can't wait to get out of here quick. 0.96

00:02:38.000 If you're shitting in a bar, it's basically like, oh, this is the last resort. 0.98

00:02:41.000 I have no other option. 1.00

00:02:42.000 Yeah, nobody wants to do some fucking public shitting. 0.99

00:02:45.000 No. 0.99

00:02:46.000 And it was back when the store in the hallway had the single bathrooms.

00:02:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:49.000 So those were, like, extra gross.

00:02:51.000 Oh, those were a disaster.

00:02:52.000 Those were absolute nightmares.

00:02:54.000 Ugh.

00:02:56.000 Remember when, like, comics would be in that one little bathroom and then there'd be the staircase up there? 0.99

00:03:01.000 So people would be talking shit to you while you're in the bathroom? 0.98

00:03:05.000 No, I never had that experience at the store. 1.00

00:03:07.000 Yeah, you know the stairs to the belly room?

00:03:10.000 Yes.

00:03:11.000 You know where that is?

00:03:11.000 Yeah.

00:03:12.000 Like, there's a window right there for the bathroom the comics always use.

00:03:16.000 Oh, there is!

00:03:16.000 There is!

00:03:16.000 So guys would be talking shit.

00:03:19.000 While other guys were shitting, they're just ragging on them, yelling in the window. 0.99

00:03:24.000 That back parking lot, before they invented sacred grounds and before they had the back bar, that was where we'd all hang out.

00:03:33.000 But the problem is you'd get randoms from that little back area that would come and they would come and Interrupt a conversation and get in the way.

00:03:42.000 I'm like, we've got to go to a place where we can just chill by ourselves.

00:03:45.000 Right, right.

00:03:45.000 And then by the time I had gotten there, you had just gotten back.

00:03:48.000 Yeah.

00:03:48.000 And so for you to hang out, it would really be interesting to watch as a door guy because you'd have to watch.

00:03:53.000 People would be like making game plans to talk to you.

00:03:57.000 You know, you could see them like, okay, if I do this and I do this and I do this and you'd have to just tell people like, hey, maybe you should go hang out in the patio or something like that.

00:04:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:04.000 It sucks because you want to say hi to everybody, but also my friends are there.

00:04:09.000 Right.

00:04:09.000 I see them every now and again, you know, especially if it's like someone like Burr that I only see like once a month or, you know, when you see them, you're like, this is an important time.

00:04:18.000 Well, and it's like when you're...

00:04:20.000 In a place with other comics like that, it just feels like home.

00:04:23.000 Yeah.

00:04:24.000 You know, so it's like, oh, I want to hang out at home.

00:04:26.000 We talk about this all the time, about the mothership.

00:04:29.000 That green room is our clubhouse.

00:04:31.000 I live there.

00:04:32.000 It's so fun.

00:04:33.000 I practically live there.

00:04:34.000 Last night was so fun.

00:04:36.000 And they're always fun.

00:04:38.000 Like, every night we're there.

00:04:39.000 We just have so much fun. 0.99

00:04:41.000 Just on stage and also in the green room, watching each other's new jokes and shit. 0.98

00:04:46.000 Well, talking about comedy. 0.95

00:04:48.000 And the green room itself is just such a comedy place.

00:04:51.000 You have Lenny Bruce's mic, Mae West's couch, Joey Diaz's words, Rodney Dangerfield's notes.

00:04:57.000 Handwritten notes.

00:04:58.000 Handwritten notes.

00:04:59.000 It is like a place where...

00:05:01.000 I feel like, oh, I'm in it.

00:05:03.000 I'm inspired.

00:05:04.000 It's the best place in the world, I think.

00:05:07.000 I think so, too.

00:05:08.000 I mean, we were talking about what we hoped it would be and what it is, and I don't even know if I... I don't think I ever hoped it would be this good.

00:05:15.000 I mean, the club's not even a year in.

00:05:18.000 I think we're only just sort of at the start of what it can be.

00:05:22.000 We have like 660,000 Instagram followers already.

00:05:25.000 Yeah.

00:05:27.000 It's sold out every night.

00:05:29.000 It's just, it's crazy.

00:05:30.000 And now that Gillis is here, and Shane moved here, and McCusker is here, and we've got Ari, and we've got, I mean, Ari's been coming down a lot.

00:05:40.000 We're doing another Protect Our Parts. 0.99

00:05:41.000 I'm trying to get that motherfucker to move here. 1.00

00:05:43.000 Sam Tallent, I think, is moving here. 0.99

00:05:45.000 Yes, he wants to move here.

00:05:46.000 Right.

00:05:46.000 It is...

00:05:47.000 It's incredible.

00:05:48.000 It's incredible.

00:05:49.000 It is the right place to be at the right time.

00:05:51.000 I felt very lucky in my life.

00:05:53.000 I feel like everywhere I've been, I've been at the right place in the right time.

00:05:56.000 Yeah, if you make the most out of things, that's what happens most of the time.

00:06:00.000 I mean, obviously, horrible things go wrong for good people.

00:06:03.000 But the reality is that, like...

00:06:06.000 Every time something happens in your life, it gives you an opportunity to figure it out.

00:06:10.000 Okay, where do I go now?

00:06:12.000 What is it?

00:06:13.000 And 9-11, or excuse me, 9-11, the new 9-11, the COVID. Oh, yeah.

00:06:20.000 There's these monumental shifts in culture and society.

00:06:24.000 9-11 was a big one, obviously, but COVID was a big one, too, man.

00:06:27.000 It shifted a lot of things.

00:06:29.000 It destroyed people's belief in mainstream media and It made people completely distrust the government and their regulations and their wisdom behind closing this and closing that and forcing this and forcing that. 0.98

00:06:41.000 And it made everybody just go, man, where the fuck am I going? 0.78

00:06:46.000 Because this is not what I used to live in anymore. 0.98

00:06:49.000 This is a different place now.

00:06:50.000 And all that happened We come to Austin and then I'm like, I gotta open up a club.

00:06:56.000 I have to. 0.96

00:06:57.000 Like, there's no real, like, fucking comedy store thing here. 0.97

00:07:01.000 And there were so many of us already here. 0.98

00:07:03.000 You were already here.

00:07:05.000 Simpson was already here.

00:07:06.000 Derek was already here. 1.00

00:07:08.000 It was like a bunch of fucking scouts went out early with fucking cold camping and teepees and shit. 1.00

00:07:15.000 It was... 1.00

00:07:16.000 It was wild.

00:07:17.000 It was wild.

00:07:17.000 The first door guy that moved out here was a funny dude, regular at the Mothership, named Dylan Sullivan.

00:07:23.000 Yeah, very funny dude.

00:07:24.000 Yeah, he got on a Discord call with me.

00:07:28.000 I was in California.

00:07:29.000 We were in the midst of the second lockdown, which was brutal.

00:07:32.000 And he goes, you gotta come out here.

00:07:35.000 There's stage time indoors.

00:07:40.000 Is this crazy?

00:07:41.000 Just that.

00:07:42.000 To perform indoors.

00:07:43.000 It was like drinking water after being in a desert for two years.

00:07:47.000 It was like a speakeasy.

00:07:49.000 Because you knew you couldn't do it everywhere.

00:07:51.000 No.

00:07:51.000 And there were still those rules where you had to walk in with the masks.

00:07:54.000 Yeah.

00:07:54.000 That was still here.

00:07:56.000 And you take it off once you start laughing.

00:07:58.000 Like, what?

00:07:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:01.000 Spraying COVID. This poor guy, whoever you are in the front row last night, I'm so sorry.

00:08:05.000 I accidentally spit it on you twice.

00:08:06.000 You know, when you're punctuating your words, and I'm seeing this guy going like this, I wanted to address it, but I didn't want to stop the bit.

00:08:13.000 So if you're out there, buddy, I'm sorry I spit on you.

00:08:16.000 I think I hit him twice.

00:08:17.000 I remember one time I was opening a show on Fat Man, and I was eating it, like it was bad, and then I spit.

00:08:24.000 Ow! 1.00

00:08:24.000 But when you're eating it, everyone's just watching you, so the whole audience sees me just spit on the guy in the front row. 1.00

00:08:31.000 I've been spit on before.

00:08:32.000 I've been in the front row. 0.52

00:08:34.000 It's like when people, Joey Diaz will spit on you like crazy.

00:08:37.000 This is like when someone's on stage, they don't mean to.

00:08:40.000 Sorry.

00:08:41.000 It really means that we're into it.

00:08:43.000 Yeah, we're just going hard.

00:08:45.000 Or bombing.

00:08:46.000 And trying to save ourselves. 1.00

00:08:48.000 Trying to save yourself is the saddest fucking moment of your life. 0.98

00:08:52.000 There comes a point where you have to be like, alright, I'm not going to ask what they do for work. 0.99

00:08:56.000 I'm just going to live in the bomb.

00:08:57.000 I'm just going to live in it.

00:08:58.000 I deserve this. 0.99

00:08:59.000 Well, you need a bunch of bombs to figure out how to bomb. 0.94

00:09:02.000 You know, and I've seen some people pull out of bombs. 0.99

00:09:05.000 That's some of the most impressive shit of all time. 0.98

00:09:07.000 When someone starts bombing, and then they hit, and then they get their confidence back, and then they got a banger, and then everybody, okay, okay, maybe that first joke sucked, but we're on board now. 0.97

00:09:16.000 It's a really good feeling, especially because I open all these shows, right, is that when I get on stage, and that first joke doesn't hit, and then it's like, ooh, alright, I'm gonna stay in the pocket, And I'm gonna figure this out.

00:09:29.000 And by the end of it you're like, this is gonna be a good show?

00:09:32.000 That's a great feeling.

00:09:33.000 Most certainly you have the hardest job.

00:09:35.000 The hardest job is when the audience is cold.

00:09:37.000 That's the hardest job.

00:09:38.000 The easiest job is like second or third.

00:09:41.000 And then the second hardest job is going on last.

00:09:43.000 Right.

00:09:43.000 But the hardest job is most certainly going on first.

00:09:46.000 Some of them too, especially your show specifically, a lot of them are here from the podcast and they don't know stand-up like that.

00:09:54.000 So they'll come and they'll look at you like, wait, you're not a podcast.

00:09:57.000 Joe's not talking to you.

00:09:59.000 Oh no, really?

00:10:00.000 They have that vibe to them sometimes.

00:10:01.000 They have to be like, no, no, this is what it is.

00:10:03.000 Oh, I used to get that on Fear Factor.

00:10:05.000 People come to see me because they recognize me from Fear Factor.

00:10:10.000 I love that guy!

00:10:11.000 That show's great! 0.99

00:10:12.000 And then they'd go and I'd be talking about the pyramids being built and shit. 1.00

00:10:15.000 And they'd be like, there's no animal dicks! 1.00

00:10:16.000 Where are the animal dicks? 0.97

00:10:17.000 What is this guy talking about?

00:10:20.000 And then I'd make fun of Fear Factor, too. 0.99

00:10:26.000 That show, when I think about it today, what the fuck were they thinking? 0.99

00:10:31.000 It was a thing. 0.99

00:10:33.000 I remember I was sitting down with my parents and we would watch Fear Factor.

00:10:37.000 That would be a family thing.

00:10:38.000 Yeah, I never watched it.

00:10:40.000 I watched it once and I threw up at home.

00:10:43.000 Really?

00:10:44.000 Yeah, I never threw up on the show.

00:10:45.000 Yeah, that seems weird.

00:10:47.000 I threw up at home once because I didn't expect to be so grossed out.

00:10:50.000 I wasn't prepared.

00:10:51.000 I guess like on the show I was always prepared to not throw up.

00:10:54.000 And there's no close-up angles when you're there, right?

00:10:57.000 Yeah, this lady was eating worms and she threw it up back in her glass and then started eating it again and I went... 1.00

00:11:05.000 I just ran to the sink and drew up.

00:11:08.000 That's a level of competitiveness that I don't know if I have.

00:11:10.000 Oh, man.

00:11:11.000 People would go for it. 1.00

00:11:12.000 They would fucking go for it. 0.99

00:11:13.000 Worms are rough. 0.99

00:11:14.000 Because worms are filled with dirt.

00:11:16.000 Because they eat dirt.

00:11:17.000 So you're eating dirt and mushiness. 0.99

00:11:18.000 It's fucking gross. 0.99

00:11:19.000 What was it? 0.99

00:11:20.000 It was a cash prize at the end?

00:11:22.000 What was it? 0.98

00:11:22.000 Yeah, but a lot of people were going to eat some dick and never get a cash prize. 0.98

00:11:27.000 That's the problem. 0.99

00:11:28.000 It's like one person is getting the money.

00:11:33.000 Michael Yeo took it and became a comedian.

00:11:37.000 He was on Fear Factor?

00:11:38.000 Michael Yeo was on episode one, season one of Fear Factor.

00:11:43.000 No way.

00:11:44.000 Yes.

00:11:45.000 That's crazy.

00:11:46.000 Figuring his life out.

00:11:47.000 He was a young guy.

00:11:48.000 He was really jacked back then.

00:11:49.000 He was a big dude. 0.99

00:11:50.000 And fucking super nice guy. 0.98

00:11:52.000 We stayed friends. 0.99

00:11:54.000 And then he became a DJ. I knew he did a morning radio show for a while.

00:12:00.000 And then he starts doing stand-up.

00:12:01.000 And then he comes to LA. I'm like, dude, you fucking actually did it. 0.98

00:12:05.000 You're an actual professional. 0.99

00:12:07.000 He's got specials.

00:12:08.000 He's a real headliner. 1.00

00:12:09.000 I'm like, fucking. 1.00

00:12:10.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:12:10.000 Right, he sells out. 1.00

00:12:11.000 He sells out.

00:12:12.000 And knowing him from, like, episode one of Fear Factor is crazy.

00:12:17.000 That's Michael Yeo.

00:12:17.000 That's me and Michael Yeo.

00:12:19.000 Back in the day, son. 0.99

00:12:20.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:12:21.000 Episode one. 1.00

00:12:22.000 Damn. 0.99

00:12:23.000 Bro, I still had the wallet chain back then. 1.00

00:12:26.000 I still had hair.

00:12:27.000 Yeah, I was gonna say the hair.

00:12:28.000 Look at that.

00:12:28.000 The hairline's going.

00:12:29.000 When did you shave it?

00:12:30.000 I gave up, I think, in 2011. I just was like, this shit is just fucking done. 1.00

00:12:39.000 My hair looks terrible. 1.00

00:12:41.000 For me, I saw a picture of me on stage, and I was like, oh my god, this is how I present myself to the world?

00:12:47.000 This is crazy.

00:12:48.000 You're so much better off giving in.

00:12:50.000 And I'm lucky I have a good head.

00:12:52.000 It's a good shape for being bald.

00:12:54.000 I swear to god, if I could grow hair, I would still shave my head.

00:12:57.000 Because it's the easiest thing in the world.

00:12:59.000 Every two or three days, I just go...

00:13:02.000 It takes five minutes.

00:13:05.000 Oh, you go electric?

00:13:06.000 I still have a razor.

00:13:07.000 I use a razor. 1.00

00:13:08.000 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:13:09.000 It's like this little ATV that fits on your finger. 1.00

00:13:12.000 It's called the ATX razor, and you just glide it along your head.

00:13:16.000 Yeah, I enjoy that.

00:13:17.000 I don't know if...

00:13:18.000 That does sound nice.

00:13:19.000 I feel like a little kid sometimes.

00:13:20.000 I got a lot of scars though. 0.99

00:13:21.000 I have a hair transplant scar and I've got a lot of scars from being a dumb kid. 0.99

00:13:26.000 Like a giant fucking gash on my head from when this crane that lifts cinder blocks fell and hit me on the side of the head. 0.99

00:13:36.000 Yeah, we were kids and we were hanging around in this yard where they had... 0.99

00:13:42.000 Like, you know, these giant, like, sewer-sized cement tubes.

00:13:48.000 Right.

00:13:49.000 And they had these cranes that would pick these things up.

00:13:52.000 Okay. 0.96

00:13:52.000 And we were fucking around, and I don't know what happened, but something fell and clanged me off the back of the head, and I thought I was dead. 0.96

00:14:02.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:14:03.000 Yeah, I had to get taken to the hospital. 0.99

00:14:05.000 And I remember thinking I was dead.

00:14:07.000 Like something felt so wrong that I remember telling my mom I'm worried I'm gonna die.

00:14:12.000 Yeah, I got dinged.

00:14:15.000 I mean, I do not remember what happened.

00:14:17.000 I remember something fell and something hit me in the head and I grayed out.

00:14:23.000 To like almost total unconsciousness and then came back, but I felt so bad.

00:14:28.000 I felt like it was so wrong that I had to go to the hospital.

00:14:32.000 I thought I was gonna die.

00:14:34.000 Ironically probably changed the course of your life too, right?

00:14:36.000 That's a traumatic head injury when you're young.

00:14:38.000 I've had a ton of those though.

00:14:41.000 I guarantee a lot of my impulsiveness and my craziness, some of it has to do with brain damage.

00:14:50.000 It has to.

00:14:51.000 If you just look at the data for...

00:14:55.000 Former fighters and football players and even soccer players, which you wouldn't think get head injuries, but they head the ball all the time.

00:15:04.000 And sometimes they collide with each other, too.

00:15:06.000 That can happen, too. 0.98

00:15:08.000 You know, I've had head injuries from collisions in jujitsu, just accidental collisions, like someone will knee you in the face accidentally and fucking ring your bell. 0.62

00:15:16.000 And guys have gotten knocked out in the gym totally accidentally.

00:15:20.000 You know, just you zig when you shoot a zag, a guy's moving towards you and you're moving towards him and your chin collides with the top of his head and you just go unconscious. 0.99

00:15:28.000 Happens.

00:15:30.000 Yeah, so I've been...

00:15:31.000 I don't know how many concussions I've had in my life.

00:15:35.000 Oh, really?

00:15:36.000 I have no idea.

00:15:37.000 From the time I was 15 until I was 21, I sparred a lot.

00:15:41.000 I did a lot of sparring. 0.94

00:15:43.000 And when I really started getting fucked up was when I started kickboxing sparring. 0.97

00:15:47.000 Because I wasn't good at boxing. 0.99

00:15:49.000 I was a good kicker because I was like a Taekwondo champion.

00:15:51.000 And then I went into kickboxing. 0.99

00:15:52.000 Oh my god, these guys are fucking me up. 0.98

00:15:54.000 I was getting beat up by good boxers. 1.00

00:15:56.000 Are you taking kicks to the face? 1.00

00:15:58.000 No, I'd fuck them up with kicks. 1.00

00:16:00.000 If I'd get in kick distance, I was much better than them. 0.99

00:16:02.000 But the thing with kickboxing is, there's boxing involved, and my boxing was terrible.

00:16:07.000 I was just learning boxing.

00:16:08.000 I had a very delusional idea of how good I could use my hands, because I was good at Taekwondo.

00:16:13.000 And Taekwondo has some punches, but not much.

00:16:15.000 And I knew how to punch things hard, but I didn't really know how to box at all.

00:16:19.000 Right, like the defensive positions and all that sort of stuff.

00:16:21.000 So once I started kickboxing, I really started getting beat up.

00:16:24.000 And I went through a couple of years from like, I think I started in like 19, I started transitioning into kickboxing.

00:16:30.000 And from 19 to 21 was when I did like most of my really hard sparring.

00:16:36.000 And those were horrible days where I'd be sitting in my apartment.

00:16:39.000 Okay, I'm 20 years old.

00:16:40.000 I'm completely broke.

00:16:42.000 I deliver newspapers in the morning and I work for a private investigator in the afternoon.

00:16:48.000 You work for a private investigator?

00:16:49.000 I guess I was 21 by then.

00:16:51.000 So were you like tracking?

00:16:52.000 Yes.

00:16:53.000 Like husbands cheating on wives pretty much?

00:16:54.000 It was mostly insurance scams.

00:16:56.000 Okay.

00:16:56.000 Most of that was insurance scams.

00:16:58.000 Okay.

00:16:58.000 Most of it was people would say that they got a back injury and they couldn't work so they were getting money but then they would go and work another job.

00:17:06.000 And then you're following them around.

00:17:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:07.000 It's like a lot of dumb people. 1.00

00:17:09.000 Right. 1.00

00:17:09.000 Well, just a lot of scammers that thought they were being slick, and we'd bust them, but one lady, oh, it was the saddest fucking thing. 1.00

00:17:15.000 The guy I worked for, by the way, his name was Dave Dolan, and he would call himself Dynamite Dickless Dave Dolan. 0.98

00:17:21.000 Oh my god.

00:17:22.000 He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met in my life, a natural comedian. 0.97

00:17:26.000 Oh, there's so many people in life like that, I think, like, damn, you are the funniest person I've ever met.

00:17:31.000 And the craziest thing is, by chance, That dude was cousins with the dude who owned the Comedy Connection, Billy Downs. 0.80

00:17:39.000 Billy Downs was his cousin.

00:17:40.000 So I found an ad for a private investigator's assistant.

00:17:45.000 I was trying to figure out jobs that I could do to make money while I was trying to do stand-up.

00:17:48.000 And so I found this job.

00:17:50.000 I go, that would be fun.

00:17:51.000 Private investigator's assistant?

00:17:52.000 What it really was, the dude lost his license from a DUI, and he needed someone to drive him around.

00:17:59.000 And that was Dave, but I was kind of his assistant, so like what kind of would happen like one time it made me really sad.

00:18:06.000 The scam would be, so say if someone was doing something that you knew was illegal, right, and you had to catch them.

00:18:13.000 The scam would be you would write their license plate on a piece of paper with several license plates that are very similar to it, very close.

00:18:23.000 And so then Dave would go to the door and say, hey, I'm so sorry to bother you, ma'am, but I'm not even supposed to have this information, but a friend of mine works for the police department.

00:18:33.000 My girlfriend was in a car accident, and there was a witness to this hit-and-run, and they wrote down the witness's license plate, but then a cop spilled coffee on the paper.

00:18:42.000 Oh, no.

00:18:43.000 Is your girlfriend okay?

00:18:44.000 Well, she had an injury to, you know, L5 and L6, and then this lady goes, oh, I had the same injury.

00:18:52.000 And then he goes, oh, no kidding.

00:18:54.000 Are you okay now?

00:18:55.000 And she goes, yes.

00:18:56.000 Well, I got the insurance, right?

00:19:00.000 And he goes, oh, you're getting compensated for it?

00:19:01.000 She says, yes.

00:19:02.000 And I also work another job.

00:19:04.000 So I'm getting to work while I'm getting the insurance money.

00:19:07.000 Oh, good for them.

00:19:09.000 Good for you. 1.00

00:19:10.000 Fuck them. 1.00

00:19:10.000 She goes, would you like to come in and have a cup of coffee? 1.00

00:19:12.000 So this lady... 1.00

00:19:15.000 This random guy who says he's a private investigator.

00:19:18.000 This random person in.

00:19:19.000 This is how people were in the 1980s.

00:19:22.000 Yeah, this doesn't seem like this would happen today at all.

00:19:24.000 They just let you in the house.

00:19:26.000 I was 21, so this was 88. This lady just let us in the house. 0.76

00:19:31.000 We sit down in her kitchen.

00:19:32.000 She's so nice.

00:19:33.000 She makes us coffee.

00:19:34.000 She starts telling about how she's working for the airlines.

00:19:38.000 She got hurt, but then she filed an insurance claim and now she's working under her maiden name.

00:19:44.000 And she tells the whole thing.

00:19:45.000 She just lays out the whole story.

00:19:47.000 You know, I hope they catch, you know, whoever hit your girlfriend and the whole deal.

00:19:51.000 And thank you very much, ma'am.

00:19:52.000 Really appreciate it.

00:19:53.000 Thank you for the coffee.

00:19:54.000 Thank you.

00:19:55.000 And I'll get outside.

00:19:56.000 I go, dude, we can't turn her in.

00:19:57.000 She's too nice. 1.00

00:19:58.000 He goes, fuck her. 1.00

00:19:59.000 She goes. 1.00

00:20:00.000 She goes. 1.00

00:20:02.000 Fuck her. 1.00

00:20:03.000 He goes, she's a fucking criminal. 1.00

00:20:05.000 I go, she's just trying to, she's poor. 1.00

00:20:07.000 She's trying to skin it. 1.00

00:20:08.000 She's a nice lady. 1.00

00:20:09.000 She invited us in for coffee. 1.00

00:20:11.000 He's like, fuck her. 1.00

00:20:12.000 Fuck her. 1.00

00:20:13.000 Turned her in. 1.00

00:20:14.000 Turned her in, of course.

00:20:15.000 Insurance companies are ruthless.

00:20:16.000 Oh, well, you know, I guess that's his job. 0.85

00:20:19.000 And she was kind of a criminal. 0.91

00:20:22.000 But, you know, it's like people think that that... 0.98

00:20:25.000 When people don't have anything in life, you know, they just fucking never... 0.80

00:20:30.000 Never really get ahead. 0.73

00:20:31.000 They're always bill to bill, check to check, barely getting by.

00:20:35.000 And then you have this opportunity where you could work and still get your phone. 1.00

00:20:39.000 The insurance companies, fuck them. 1.00

00:20:41.000 Oh, the big company, the airline, fuck them. 1.00

00:20:44.000 You just figure out, just get a little money on the side. 1.00

00:20:47.000 I'm using my maiden name, who's going to catch me?

00:20:49.000 I don't mind the grift.

00:20:53.000 It's like, get your money, but you can't just be telling random people that.

00:20:57.000 I know, and letting us in our house.

00:20:59.000 That's so wild.

00:20:59.000 And it's so funny.

00:21:00.000 I was thinking, wow, that would never happen today.

00:21:02.000 But now we would just...

00:21:03.000 The same person would tell some random person in DM. Yeah.

00:21:06.000 People will find a way to let people in.

00:21:10.000 That made me sad.

00:21:12.000 But most of the time, it was busting dudes.

00:21:14.000 And most of the time, it was busting dudes who were pretending they had a bad back.

00:21:17.000 And then you'd watch them carry a load of shingles on the ladder.

00:21:21.000 They were working as roofers on the side.

00:21:24.000 We busted a lot of dudes.

00:21:27.000 One guy he busted, his girlfriend, she's having an affair with a bodybuilder.

00:21:33.000 Okay.

00:21:34.000 And this guy wanted Dave to get pictures. 0.63

00:21:38.000 So Dave had to get pictures of this bodybuilder banging this girl. 0.99

00:21:43.000 And so he gets the pictures.

00:21:44.000 He's like, look, buddy, she's cheating on you.

00:21:46.000 And he's like, okay, I want you to follow her and get more pictures. 1.00

00:21:49.000 He goes, listen, you fucking freak. 0.99

00:21:51.000 Yeah, was he getting off on the pictures? 1.00

00:21:52.000 Yeah, it was something about it. 1.00

00:21:54.000 And he goes, I told the guy, listen, you fucking freak. 0.99

00:21:56.000 You wanted me to get pictures. 1.00

00:21:57.000 I got your pictures.

00:21:58.000 We're done.

00:21:59.000 We're done. 1.00

00:22:00.000 I'm not gonna be your fucking pornographer for cuck porn. 1.00

00:22:04.000 You had the whole thing set up. 1.00

00:22:06.000 Dave was so funny, man.

00:22:09.000 Some of the best times I had was driving that guy around and doing this.

00:22:13.000 Also, we'd be really tired because a lot of it you'd have to do really early in the morning because you'd have to catch these folks.

00:22:19.000 Before they go to work.

00:22:20.000 Yes.

00:22:20.000 So you had to get outside their house down the street at like 4.30 a.m.

00:22:26.000 Because they leave at like 5.30 and they go to some construction job or something.

00:22:30.000 So you have to bust them. 1.00

00:22:31.000 Damn. 1.00

00:22:32.000 And so we'd be just sitting there talking shit, drinking coffee, and he was so funny. 1.00

00:22:35.000 He would tell me about his story. 0.99

00:22:36.000 He just quit drinking like that.

00:22:39.000 He got in a car accident in a tunnel, I think, and he had abandoned his car.

00:22:45.000 He took off and the cops got him.

00:22:47.000 They hit him with a DUI. He couldn't drive for X amount of months, the whole deal.

00:22:51.000 And then he just said, that was it.

00:22:53.000 I realized I gotta stop drinking right then and there.

00:22:56.000 He never went to a program.

00:22:57.000 He didn't do Alcoholics Anonymous.

00:22:59.000 He just quit.

00:23:00.000 Dude was so funny, man.

00:23:03.000 And I told him, I go, why don't you do stand-up?

00:23:05.000 Like, your cousin owns the comedy club.

00:23:07.000 Just do an open mic night.

00:23:09.000 He was not interested.

00:23:10.000 No, you gotta, this is something that you have to want to do.

00:23:13.000 Yeah, you gotta want it.

00:23:14.000 You really gotta want it, because it's so brutal if you don't.

00:23:17.000 Yeah.

00:23:18.000 You see some people, like, going through the motions, and it's like, don't do this to yourself.

00:23:22.000 Well, it's not a thing you can kind of half in, half out.

00:23:25.000 We've seen that a bunch of times.

00:23:27.000 Right.

00:23:27.000 Yeah, you have to be fully in.

00:23:29.000 I remember thinking, you know, just like podcasts early on in my career, hearing everyone be like, no backup plan.

00:23:39.000 No backup plan.

00:23:40.000 Just go all in.

00:23:41.000 And I remember telling my parents, trying to figure out, like... 1.00

00:23:44.000 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:23:46.000 Why are you doing this? 1.00

00:23:48.000 And they were like, at least go to grad school.

00:23:51.000 And so you have something to fall back on.

00:23:53.000 And I was like, I can't.

00:23:54.000 I can't have a backup plan.

00:23:56.000 Well, one of the things we really wanted to do when we started the mothership, you know, and you and I talked about this, we all talked about this, was have a real program.

00:24:04.000 Like a real solid open mic program.

00:24:06.000 And the best way to do that is obviously have a lot of open mic time.

00:24:09.000 So there's two nights a week.

00:24:11.000 Right.

00:24:11.000 Every Sunday and every Monday we have open mic where anybody can go on stage and try it.

00:24:17.000 Right.

00:24:18.000 And you're going to be able to see all the different levels.

00:24:21.000 People have been doing open mics for four months, six months, folks who've been doing it a year, guys who are coming in that are pros that are going to drop in and do a set, and you're getting to see the door people do their sets.

00:24:34.000 And the door people here are...

00:24:37.000 What I love about the people here in Austin is that, you know, you don't run into the sort of people in LA who you would run into that, like, they're just really doing this to become a writer, or they're just really doing this to become an actor, right?

00:24:48.000 So this is just something that you, no.

00:24:50.000 The door people here are like wannabe stand-up comedians.

00:24:53.000 Yeah, they're fans of the art form.

00:24:54.000 They're fans of the art form, and they are taking this opportunity, and the amount that they're improving that I can see is incredible.

00:25:02.000 I'll look at some of the door guys and be like, I wasn't like that at five years in.

00:25:06.000 Yeah.

00:25:07.000 I wasn't doing that.

00:25:09.000 Well, we all feed off of each other.

00:25:11.000 And we were talking about Shane moving into town the other night.

00:25:14.000 And you guys were talking about his new half hour.

00:25:16.000 Fantastic.

00:25:16.000 You and Tony had the same reaction.

00:25:18.000 You went back home and you started writing.

00:25:20.000 Started writing.

00:25:21.000 Immediately started writing.

00:25:22.000 I went to...

00:25:26.000 Wisconsin recently and I took one of the door guys CJ Landry with me and one of the reasons I took him with me is I did a random show with him in Dallas like this is last year at 1230 just a horrible show at like midnight and he buried me really he buried me and I was like oh if when I get the chance you're gonna go on the road with me because I have to follow this mmm I wasn't expecting it you know I'm in there all cocky I've been doing it so long and then I was like I got wow I got buried by a door guy Oh,

00:25:55.000 I gotta, I gotta, you know, it's like the energy around the place, like when Shane was there, the energy of just like everyone was just like, this is awesome, we can get to watch the best, we can all become better.

00:26:05.000 Just last night I was walking into the little boy and there was a door guy in there named Fuzzy.

00:26:10.000 And I was like, hey Fuzzy, how you doing?

00:26:12.000 And he goes...

00:26:13.000 Oh, I have the best life of all time.

00:26:15.000 And this is a door guy who's taking out trash.

00:26:17.000 Yeah.

00:26:18.000 He's taking out trash.

00:26:18.000 He lived in his car a little while ago.

00:26:21.000 And he's like, this is the place.

00:26:24.000 It is.

00:26:25.000 You can feel the energy there.

00:26:26.000 Yeah, you can feel it.

00:26:28.000 And we're feeding off each other.

00:26:29.000 Everyone's better.

00:26:31.000 Everyone's better.

00:26:32.000 We're all better.

00:26:33.000 And there's no, like, no one's, like, competing for, like, oh, there's only two sitcoms, like, the place where I can get a sitcom.

00:26:43.000 What's nice is that you look up and you see the top of this, you know, you see you, Shane, Tony, and you see that everyone is just doing what they want to do.

00:26:52.000 Yeah.

00:26:52.000 And there is no, like, you succeeding doesn't take away from someone else succeeding.

00:26:58.000 Right.

00:26:58.000 So it's this mindset that everyone has.

00:27:00.000 It's like, oh, she's winning?

00:27:02.000 Yeah.

00:27:02.000 That's awesome.

00:27:03.000 I can win.

00:27:04.000 Oh, he's doing that? 1.00

00:27:05.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:27:06.000 That means that there's whatever there is for me. 1.00

00:27:08.000 Like, it's...

00:27:10.000 The positivity, and it's like...

00:27:12.000 Yeah.

00:27:12.000 And it is like, oh, and these people are coming.

00:27:14.000 You gotta write.

00:27:15.000 You gotta...

00:27:16.000 Yeah.

00:27:16.000 Because nobody's slowing down.

00:27:18.000 Nobody's slowing down.

00:27:19.000 Nobody's slowing down.

00:27:20.000 Nobody's slowing down.

00:27:21.000 And everyone's inspired.

00:27:22.000 Everyone's inspired.

00:27:23.000 And the stage time you get in the city is incredible.

00:27:26.000 Yeah.

00:27:27.000 Outside the mothership, you go to Red Bands Club.

00:27:29.000 You go to Vulcan.

00:27:30.000 You go to East Austin Comedy Club.

00:27:32.000 You go to Creek in the Cave.

00:27:33.000 There's this new room on 5th Street Underground called Black Rabbit.

00:27:37.000 There is...

00:27:39.000 Time in front of quality audiences here, even outside the mothership.

00:27:44.000 So everyone is improving.

00:27:46.000 Rapolo's Pizza next door has a mic with people in it every Tuesday now.

00:27:52.000 It's insane what's happening in this city.

00:27:55.000 That's amazing.

00:27:55.000 Not to mention, you have Cap City up in the domain, and Spider House near the campus runs shows all the time.

00:28:00.000 There's another one that I saw on the east side.

00:28:02.000 Yeah, yeah, I think that's East Austin.

00:28:04.000 Oh, no, Roscoe's.

00:28:05.000 Roscoe's, that's the new one.

00:28:06.000 That's another one.

00:28:07.000 I was eating down there, and I saw Roscoe's Comedy Club.

00:28:10.000 I was like, there's a comedy club down here?

00:28:12.000 This is wild.

00:28:13.000 It's wild.

00:28:14.000 And now we'll get these people that are comedy tourists, like we used to get at the store.

00:28:18.000 Where it's like, I'm in it from Australia for eight days, I'm at the mothership for six of those days.

00:28:24.000 It's a spot.

00:28:26.000 It's the energy.

00:28:26.000 You can just feel it.

00:28:28.000 You can just feel it. 0.95

00:28:29.000 It's pretty fucking cool. 0.98

00:28:30.000 It's pretty cool. 0.98

00:28:31.000 And just the good keeps on coming.

00:28:33.000 Shane's here when that Bryan Simpson special drops.

00:28:36.000 Yes.

00:28:36.000 Like there's just so many things here.

00:28:39.000 I'll never forget Howie Mandel walking in the place and just having like...

00:28:42.000 It felt like we gave him 20 years back almost.

00:28:45.000 It's like he felt like a kid again.

00:28:46.000 It was like watching a kid play.

00:28:47.000 I was like, oh my god.

00:28:48.000 And when he found out the phones were in bags.

00:28:50.000 Yeah.

00:28:50.000 Oh my god.

00:28:52.000 He goes, I can do comedy again.

00:28:55.000 He's funny, man.

00:28:56.000 He was great.

00:28:57.000 He was very funny.

00:28:58.000 He was great.

00:28:59.000 It's just great to see everyone come through here and be like, oh, I see what this is.

00:29:04.000 Yeah.

00:29:05.000 I get what this is.

00:29:06.000 Yeah.

00:29:07.000 Yeah, we did it.

00:29:10.000 It's so funny because when we were all talking about it, we were in the green room of the Vulcan, talking about how to build it, what we were going to do.

00:29:18.000 It all seemed like, eh, is this really going to happen?

00:29:21.000 I could tell some people were skeptical.

00:29:24.000 I mean, you would hear all the time people being like, they're not going to make the club.

00:29:28.000 What are you doing out there?

00:29:29.000 They're not going to make the club.

00:29:30.000 And I always viewed it as a low-risk, high-reward move.

00:29:38.000 So right before the pandemic hit is when I went full-time.

00:29:41.000 Pandemic hit, obviously not going out, so I moved back in with my parents.

00:29:45.000 I'm living there because I'm not paying LA prices if I'm not going to do anything on stage.

00:29:49.000 And then they live in the Bay Area.

00:29:50.000 I was doing outdoor shows.

00:29:53.000 Dylan hits me up.

00:29:53.000 Hey, you got to move.

00:29:55.000 Derek Jeffrey Burner also had moved here before me.

00:29:58.000 They're like, you got to come.

00:29:59.000 So I stayed in their place for a little bit, two weeks, and I was like, oh, I got to come.

00:30:03.000 I gotta come.

00:30:04.000 Because at the worst, I come out here and get stage time in front of people.

00:30:07.000 Yeah.

00:30:08.000 At the worst.

00:30:09.000 When you first came here, was I even talking about opening a club yet?

00:30:13.000 Yes.

00:30:13.000 So, for me, what made it real that you were opening the club is that I heard Adam and Curtis were coming over.

00:30:21.000 And I was like, oh, he's serious about opening the club.

00:30:24.000 There's no like, there's no like, because you heard, I heard the news and I was like, oh, am I gonna have to move to Austin?

00:30:28.000 And then you hired those two and I was like, oh, this is happening.

00:30:31.000 And then my friends were also be like, hey, you gotta come out here.

00:30:34.000 There is time and you can get good out here.

00:30:36.000 Well, everybody was, it was a perfect storm of LA closing down, the comedy store, they're closed down, so everyone's out of work.

00:30:43.000 So all those people didn't have jobs anymore.

00:30:45.000 And so I said, I'll hire you now and you don't have a job for like a year and a half, but you start getting paid immediately.

00:30:52.000 That's a good deal.

00:30:53.000 Well, I was like, listen, man, I'm gonna make it as nice and easy as possible.

00:30:56.000 I was like, come to Austin, enjoy the city for a year, and then we'll call for you.

00:31:02.000 And then we'll do this.

00:31:04.000 We'll really do this.

00:31:05.000 Yeah, and then it opened and you could just feel it immediately. 0.99

00:31:08.000 I didn't think it was gonna take as long as it took, but that was because we had another building, and the building owned by the cult, and that shit fell apart. 0.82

00:31:15.000 But lucky it fell apart, man, because it's like where we got is the best spot in the world. 0.97

00:31:20.000 That 6th Street is like no other place, man.

00:31:23.000 It's just hopping with people.

00:31:25.000 They close it down to car traffic and there's just people walking on the streets and the energy is crazy.

00:31:31.000 Right.

00:31:32.000 It's pretty...

00:31:32.000 The energy at 6th Street is nuts.

00:31:34.000 It is wild.

00:31:35.000 But it helps the show, man. 0.99

00:31:36.000 It's like there's so much wild shit going on outside that when you... 0.98

00:31:41.000 There's live music playing everywhere. 0.99

00:31:43.000 There's like a feeling in the air.

00:31:45.000 And then you go to the club and it's rocking. 1.00

00:31:47.000 It's like, oh shit. 1.00

00:31:49.000 This is... 1.00

00:31:49.000 This is the spot. 1.00

00:31:51.000 Yeah, it just feels like a place that's just connected with everything.

00:31:55.000 It's just different than any other place we've ever been to.

00:31:57.000 But it's also the only place that I've ever worked at where a comic ran it.

00:32:04.000 Like a comic built it.

00:32:05.000 And they built it just for comedy.

00:32:07.000 There's no business partners or fucking weird money people that want you to charge more for that or pay the comics less or make our own rules.

00:32:17.000 It's what they talk about at the stores of a comics playground. 0.92

00:32:20.000 It's an artist's playground.

00:32:21.000 Here you can take chances.

00:32:24.000 You can really be free artistically.

00:32:27.000 What I like about the sort of theory I have is, because I started in San Diego, which is a pretty red city and a blue state, and now we're in a blue city and a red state, that's sort of the best mix for comedy.

00:32:36.000 Yeah, you get all sorts of people all across the spectrum and that's like a this is what America really is.

00:32:43.000 There's people who believe this people who believe this They're all in one place.

00:32:45.000 Can you make all of them laugh at once?

00:32:47.000 Yeah, it's well, it's it's also people that recognize there's a new scene here So there's like this energy to that and they want to come experience it Right is there really haven't been like Austin had a scene it has small scene There was always some good comics that came out of Boston of Austin You know,

00:33:06.000 because, like, Hicks was here for a while, and, you know, there's like a history of good comedy out of Austin.

00:33:11.000 But it didn't have, like, a community like we have now.

00:33:16.000 There was nothing like it, where all these world-class comedians had moved to a city.

00:33:20.000 Right.

00:33:21.000 That never really happened before.

00:33:22.000 It just kind of became an A city.

00:33:24.000 I mean, the only time it really happened, I feel like, is when Carson moved to L.A. Well, I bet L.A. had comics already, though, no?

00:33:33.000 I mean, I'd imagine so, but then you hear, like, I guess my view is the view of the comedy store's history, but, you know, all these people came from, all these high-level comics came from New York, right?

00:33:45.000 It's like Letterman, Leto.

00:33:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:33:47.000 Really?

00:33:48.000 I think The Tonight Show being in LA was a big monumental shift in people being like, oh, let me come here.

00:33:53.000 Well, that was back in the time where a spot on The Tonight Show could make your career.

00:33:58.000 Right.

00:33:58.000 Like, that's when I first saw Richard Jenny.

00:34:00.000 I was like, wow, who's this guy?

00:34:03.000 He did a spot on The Tonight Show.

00:34:04.000 And you would get these, like, five to seven minute spots, and guys would prep forever for that spot.

00:34:11.000 They just wanted that one—they wanted— There was some guys that only had like one killer seven minutes because their whole idea was just get on Letterman.

00:34:20.000 Get on the Tonight Show.

00:34:22.000 Get on something.

00:34:23.000 And that was like your career move back then.

00:34:26.000 This is pre-HBO comedy hours.

00:34:29.000 This is pre-everything.

00:34:30.000 Yeah.

00:34:31.000 I remember reading stories about like, oh, Freddie Prince got called over to the couch on his first time?

00:34:35.000 That never happens to anybody.

00:34:37.000 Well, also, you got to remember, what were the numbers back then for The Tonight Show?

00:34:41.000 Oh, they must have been massive, right?

00:34:42.000 There's only one of four shows you can watch at the time.

00:34:44.000 Right.

00:34:45.000 What was the average Tonight Show ratings in 1978?

00:34:50.000 See if you can find that.

00:34:52.000 I bet it's nuts.

00:34:53.000 It's got to be in the tens of millions, right?

00:34:55.000 It has to be.

00:34:55.000 I want to think like 25 million.

00:34:58.000 And again, this is at 11 p.m.

00:35:00.000 at night, too.

00:35:01.000 Right.

00:35:01.000 Some people are kind of tired, and they're laying in bed, and it's Johnny Carson.

00:35:04.000 He was the king.

00:35:05.000 Right.

00:35:06.000 With his desk.

00:35:07.000 They all did the same thing.

00:35:08.000 The desk and the chair.

00:35:08.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:35:09.000 Like, why do you have a desk?

00:35:11.000 Are you doing work?

00:35:12.000 Like, it's so weird you have a desk.

00:35:15.000 But everybody had a desk.

00:35:16.000 Everyone had a desk, yeah.

00:35:17.000 I guess it was like Jack Was it Jack Parr who started it out?

00:35:20.000 It was Steve Allen or Jack Parr.

00:35:23.000 Whoever was the first one.

00:35:25.000 Because there was Tonight Show guys before Johnny Carson.

00:35:27.000 And whoever it was, they had a desk.

00:35:30.000 Because back then, if you were the boss, you sat behind the desk.

00:35:34.000 Would the Ed Sullivan Show fall in this sort of world?

00:35:37.000 What was that?

00:35:39.000 Ed Sullivan...

00:35:40.000 Because in my mind, that seems to be the precursor of all this and sort of what set this up.

00:35:45.000 Yeah.

00:35:45.000 Lenny Bruce did the Ed Sullivan show.

00:35:47.000 The Beatles, famously.

00:35:48.000 Yeah.

00:35:49.000 Who else?

00:35:51.000 A lot of people did it.

00:35:52.000 Yeah.

00:35:53.000 Was he the first?

00:35:54.000 Was Ed Sullivan the first?

00:35:55.000 It feels like, from my understanding of it, it feels like he was the first megastar.

00:36:00.000 Jackie Mason got banned from the Ed Sullivan show because Ed Sullivan said that Jackie gave him the finger.

00:36:08.000 Really?

00:36:09.000 Yeah, but Jackie swears he didn't give him the finger.

00:36:12.000 He's just doing his hands.

00:36:13.000 Doing my hand gestures. 1.00

00:36:14.000 And he did something, and Ed Sullivan said, that fucking guy gave me the finger. 0.99

00:36:20.000 He's never coming back. 1.00

00:36:21.000 Damn. 0.99

00:36:22.000 See if you find what that is. 0.99

00:36:23.000 What happened with...

00:36:25.000 With Jackie Mason on the Ed Sullivan Show.

00:36:28.000 What year was that?

00:36:29.000 It's gotta be what like the 50s?

00:36:32.000 Early 60s?

00:36:33.000 We're talking about Mason?

00:36:34.000 Do we find out what the ratings were for 1978?

00:36:36.000 I was digging to 78. Most of the stuff talking about the ratings is about its last week and last show.

00:36:42.000 What is that?

00:36:45.000 50 million for the final show.

00:36:46.000 Oh my god.

00:36:48.000 That's crazy.

00:36:51.000 So he averaged 19 million a week.

00:36:52.000 That's wild.

00:36:53.000 No, no.

00:36:54.000 Just for that week.

00:36:55.000 Oh, for that week.

00:36:56.000 I wasn't saying it was for the whole time.

00:36:58.000 Can you find out what the ratings were?

00:37:00.000 Just let's say September 1978 Tonight Show ratings.

00:37:04.000 I wonder if they even have those numbers.

00:37:07.000 Yeah, they probably have those numbers.

00:37:09.000 What's really wild is there's people that get away with not telling you the numbers.

00:37:14.000 Oh, Netflix?

00:37:14.000 Netflix gets away with...

00:37:15.000 We were just discussing this last night because a friend of mine was saying, what are you thinking about this actor strike?

00:37:21.000 And I said, I really don't know enough about it to comment other than...

00:37:26.000 Look, if you're a person and you do something, even if you're a comic and you do something on Netflix, like when I've done Netflix specials, they just say, it's doing really well.

00:37:36.000 And you go, what does that mean?

00:37:37.000 How many people are watching it?

00:37:38.000 We're really happy.

00:37:40.000 What does that mean?

00:37:40.000 We're really happy.

00:37:41.000 It's doing great.

00:37:42.000 What are the numbers?

00:37:43.000 What do you think is the purpose of keeping it secret?

00:37:46.000 Well, it's a genius move.

00:37:48.000 Because they don't have to tell you, so you can't really negotiate. 0.96

00:37:52.000 Like, if you do a special, and that special is 10 million people watch it, oh shit, we're gonna pay Hassan more money next time.

00:37:59.000 Because if he finds out that this many people are watching, you don't know until you go out on the road, and then you sell more tickets, and you're like, oh, people enjoyed it, I guess it worked.

00:38:07.000 But when you don't have any data, From the company.

00:38:11.000 They could just not give you the data.

00:38:12.000 Like, on their side, it's great for negotiation.

00:38:14.000 Right. 1.00

00:38:15.000 They don't have to tell you shit. 1.00

00:38:16.000 It's just they have all the leverage. 0.99

00:38:17.000 There was an article about this yesterday.

00:38:19.000 Okay.

00:38:21.000 Sarandos defends not disclosing streaming numbers.

00:38:23.000 Creators felt trapped by ratings box office.

00:38:27.000 So how does he defend it?

00:38:28.000 I like Ted Sarandos, by the way.

00:38:30.000 He's a very nice guy.

00:38:31.000 The longer paragraph is here, but it's...

00:38:34.000 Part of our promise with creators at the time we started creating original programming, our creators felt like they were pretty trapped in this kind of overnight ratings world.

00:38:42.000 Oh, they're trapped by ratings!

00:38:45.000 We're doing this for them.

00:38:45.000 Yeah, we're doing it for them.

00:38:46.000 We're doing it for them.

00:38:47.000 They don't know.

00:38:48.000 Overnight ratings, an analyst interview that went live, a weekend box office world, defining their success and failures, Sarando said during a pre-recorded analyst interview.

00:38:59.000 That's a little gaslighty.

00:39:01.000 Yeah.

00:39:01.000 And as we know, a show might have enormous success down the road, and it wasn't captured in that opening box office.

00:39:08.000 So part of this was the relationship with the talent, not just the business aspect of it.

00:39:12.000 And I do think that over time, people are much more interested in this.

00:39:16.000 We're on a continuum today of how much data do we publish.

00:39:20.000 I think we've been leading the charge, starting everyone down the path of a top 10, publishing our top 10 list and our annual wrap-up list.

00:39:29.000 And everything to give a lot of transparency to the viewing, and I just expect will be more and more transparent.

00:39:35.000 Just say the numbers.

00:39:36.000 This is a weird little dance you're doing to avoid.

00:39:40.000 Just tell people what the numbers are.

00:39:43.000 YouTube was saying yesterday, too, on top of this, that they might be changing the way videos work.

00:39:48.000 I think they said for the first 24 hours that all stats will be live.

00:39:52.000 Like live viewer count, live thumbs up, I guess people really want to know that.

00:39:56.000 Sounds opposite of what he was just saying.

00:39:58.000 Yeah, that's what people want.

00:39:59.000 They want to know what's successful and what's not.

00:40:02.000 It does seem interesting that he says that like, oh, we have, you know, a show might do better as time goes on and the initial box office numbers might not reflect that.

00:40:11.000 But it's like, but then you're also canceling all these shows the time they get to the second and third season. 0.96

00:40:15.000 Yeah, shut up. 0.99

00:40:19.000 It doesn't lend that credibility. 0.99

00:40:21.000 No, we're doing it for the creators.

00:40:23.000 Guys, we love you.

00:40:25.000 We love you.

00:40:27.000 We're doing it for you.

00:40:29.000 Yeah, this seems like a very abusive relationship.

00:40:32.000 So I would imagine that has something to do with, I think, if you were an actor and you were a star of a Netflix movie and it was fucking huge, you would want to know what the numbers are. 0.73

00:40:42.000 Right.

00:40:43.000 It's got to be part of their...

00:40:44.000 I don't know.

00:40:45.000 Is that part of what they're asking for?

00:40:46.000 I know it's streaming revenue.

00:40:48.000 I think that was one of the things I asked you.

00:40:49.000 That's one of the things.

00:40:50.000 There's like the AI characters, too.

00:40:54.000 Yes.

00:40:55.000 That's a big part of this.

00:40:56.000 Because SAG's still in Strike, right?

00:40:58.000 I believe so, yes.

00:40:59.000 So I think the AI thing was...

00:41:02.000 There was one contract that...

00:41:04.000 I don't know if it was actually being... 0.97

00:41:07.000 Someone actually trying to get people sign or was just being discussed where they would pay the extra like an extra would be on the set and Then they know they own their digital image They could use it forever So they could put you in the background of the fucking Hulk movie they could put you in the background of it You know like conspiracy theorists believe they're crisis actors right show up at every mass shooting and start talking about something in this bullshit like this is the most evil of conspiracy theories right right But 0.92

00:41:37.000 this crisis actor thing, imagine if you just start seeing, like, AI people in every fucking movie, every disaster movie, you see that same guy, like, that's that dude! 0.51

00:41:47.000 And that dude probably got paid 200 bucks. 0.83

00:41:50.000 It's like the Wilhelm scream, but with, like, people's faces.

00:41:52.000 Right.

00:41:53.000 Yeah, that's where it'll be like, oh, if it's a disaster scene, you know, this guy's in it.

00:41:56.000 Well, maybe they'll be able to morph your image, give you a mustache, fake nose.

00:42:01.000 I'm sure they can.

00:42:02.000 You can tweak your face.

00:42:03.000 I mean, they can face swap you with different extras.

00:42:06.000 They can do all kinds of stuff.

00:42:07.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:42:08.000 Did you see the Unreal 5 video game engine?

00:42:13.000 Yeah, the car on fire.

00:42:15.000 Jamie, see if you can play that.

00:42:16.000 Someone said, I forget the tweet, but it was something...

00:42:20.000 Along the lines of you're not gonna be able to ever know what's real again.

00:42:23.000 No, and if it feels this way looking at the news with what's going on over You know over in Israel and Palestine.

00:42:28.000 It's like what am I seeing how much of this is real what's yeah, how much like the propaganda on top of that they're like Shitty reporting.

00:42:36.000 Shitty reporting.

00:42:37.000 It's so interesting that we have phones and we have the access to information constantly, and now we just know if none of that information is true.

00:42:44.000 Well, we just know quickly what actually happened if you're online and paying attention.

00:42:49.000 And the mainstream news is so far behind that.

00:42:52.000 Coleman Hughes was on yesterday.

00:42:54.000 He was saying that the original narrative was that Israel bombed a hospital in Gaza.

00:42:59.000 What actually happened was another Islamic terrorist group Launched a missile, it failed, and it landed in the parking lot of the hospital.

00:43:07.000 So this is fake.

00:43:08.000 This is the Unreal 5 engine.

00:43:11.000 You see a car on fire, and then they have a little video thing pop through it.

00:43:15.000 I think that just the car is fake.

00:43:16.000 The rest of the video should be real.

00:43:18.000 So they inserted a car into a real scene?

00:43:21.000 Is that what they did?

00:43:22.000 Yes.

00:43:22.000 No one really knows, though, honestly, because Unreal Engine looks so fucking good.

00:43:26.000 There's been a new video of the 5.3, and it looks...

00:43:29.000 But I could, Jamie, I could imagine that's all the video engine.

00:43:32.000 Why would you think?

00:43:33.000 It could be, but like right there, that person walking in the background.

00:43:35.000 Yeah, but you could do that.

00:43:36.000 You could.

00:43:37.000 Well, that would be easy because they're not even in focus.

00:43:41.000 That would be so easy in comparison to this car that's in focus.

00:43:44.000 That's just, well, I'm just, I've watched a lot of it.

00:43:47.000 I just don't, I think all they did was add that.

00:43:49.000 Okay.

00:43:49.000 Just saying.

00:43:50.000 Well, you might be right, but either way, look how good that car on fire looks.

00:43:54.000 Yeah, I mean, it looks...

00:43:54.000 It looks...

00:43:55.000 That's fucking incredible. 0.99

00:43:56.000 Very real. 0.99

00:43:56.000 And look how the flames vary. 0.99

00:43:59.000 Like, the flames vary like an actual flame would.

00:44:02.000 It's not...

00:44:02.000 Like, sometimes you watch, like, digital flames.

00:44:04.000 They do the same pattern over and over and over again. 0.99

00:44:06.000 But this just looks like real fucking fire. 0.98

00:44:09.000 There's a level of randomness. 0.98

00:44:10.000 It's reacting to the thing in it.

00:44:12.000 Yeah.

00:44:12.000 It's nuts, man.

00:44:14.000 Yeah, the thing is making the smoke move. 1.00

00:44:18.000 Motherfucker, dude. 0.99

00:44:19.000 They're so good now. 1.00

00:44:21.000 You're not going to have any idea.

00:44:22.000 No, you can't tell what's real at all anymore.

00:44:25.000 And I think it was in 2015 they passed a law that allowed the CIA to use propaganda on citizens for the greater good of the nation.

00:44:35.000 No, there was something like that.

00:44:37.000 I mean, that's always been a thing, though.

00:44:38.000 It's funny that they didn't pass a law.

00:44:40.000 Well, now they can't get arrested for it.

00:44:41.000 Or no one can get in trouble for it.

00:44:43.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:44:44.000 I mean, but no one was really getting in trouble for it.

00:44:46.000 No one was really getting in trouble.

00:44:47.000 Yeah, it's like... 1.00

00:44:48.000 We need to kill the president, allegedly. 1.00

00:44:50.000 Right. 1.00

00:44:51.000 It's more like them dotting their eyes and crossing their teeth.

00:44:53.000 Like, let's just make sure that no one...

00:44:54.000 What is that?

00:44:55.000 That law, Jamie?

00:44:56.000 I was just looking it up.

00:44:57.000 I just stumbled across an article from the New York Times, 1977. Worldwide propaganda network built by the CIA. Wow!

00:45:04.000 I can't imagine.

00:45:06.000 1977. I mean, I can't find the article...

00:45:10.000 It's so hard to know what's real and what's not real.

00:45:13.000 Yeah, I think that's what we talked about, the shift in COVID, what it really caused.

00:45:17.000 It's like, now I'm just suspicious of everything.

00:45:20.000 Of everything.

00:45:21.000 Everything I read, I'm like, what's that?

00:45:23.000 What angle is it coming from?

00:45:25.000 Who's funding this?

00:45:26.000 Exactly.

00:45:27.000 It didn't used to be that.

00:45:28.000 This is what comes up about what we were just talking about.

00:45:31.000 Yes.

00:45:31.000 Obama did not sign a law allowing propaganda in the U.S. Okay.

00:45:36.000 So here's the claim.

00:45:37.000 Former President Barack Obama signed a law in 2012 allowing government propaganda in the U.S. and making it perfectly legal for the media to purposely lie to the American people.

00:45:47.000 AP's assessment, false.

00:45:49.000 In 2013, Obama signed legislation that changed the U.S. Information and Education Exchange Act of 1948, also known as the Smith-Month Act.

00:46:00.000 The amendment made it possible for some materials created by the U.S. Agency for Global Media, the nation's foreign broadcasting agency, to be disseminated in the U.S. The facts.

00:46:10.000 A post circulating on Facebook with a photo of Obama falsely states that he repealed a ban on government propaganda in the U.S. when he signed the National Defense Authorization Act in 2013. The amendment did not repeal the Smith-Munt Act, but rather lifted some restrictions on the domestic dissemination of government-funded media.

00:46:29.000 Okay.

00:46:30.000 Government-funded media, though, is you're getting close to propaganda, right?

00:46:35.000 Okay, so here.

00:46:36.000 The change essentially eased restrictions for Americans who wanted to access government-funded media content.

00:46:42.000 We're doing it for you!

00:46:44.000 Did Ted Sarandos write this?

00:46:45.000 We're making it easier for you to access it.

00:46:48.000 The change essentially eased restrictions for Americans who wanted to access government-funded media content.

00:46:53.000 Because, you know, most Americans really want to access government-funded media content.

00:46:58.000 Yeah.

00:46:58.000 I can't think of anything better.

00:47:00.000 Would I rather watch Game of Thrones or government-funded media content?

00:47:05.000 Allowing media produced by the U.S. agency for global media such as The Voice of America, Radio Free Europe, Radio Liberty to be made available to Americans upon request.

00:47:16.000 It was not possible before the law was changed.

00:47:19.000 Even upon request, if I wanted to get it through the Freedom of Information Act, for instance, they couldn't do it.

00:47:25.000 The amendment changed that, says Gabe Rotman, director of the Reporters Committee's Technology and Press Freedom Project.

00:47:34.000 Boy, whenever someone puts freedom in their project, I'm like, ugh.

00:47:37.000 I don't trust anything in that. 1.00

00:47:40.000 Bullshit, son. 1.00

00:47:41.000 Is it patriot freedom? 1.00

00:47:44.000 You know, the Patriot Act.

00:47:45.000 I just think it's so funny that, like, government-funded media was behind some sort of wall to begin with.

00:47:50.000 Like, that's kind of interesting.

00:47:52.000 Well, it says there was essentially a de facto ban on the government dissemination of materials originating from the State Department.

00:48:00.000 Yeah, because we didn't trust you. 0.98

00:48:03.000 We didn't trust you to just fucking make these claims. 0.98

00:48:07.000 Journalists are supposed to make these claims. 0.99

00:48:09.000 Right.

00:48:10.000 You're not supposed to release the news if you're the government.

00:48:12.000 No.

00:48:12.000 Journalists are supposed to go in there and find out what's actually going on.

00:48:15.000 Right.

00:48:15.000 And then, you know, I guess later we find out that they're really influencing these news companies anyway.

00:48:19.000 So it's like, what?

00:48:21.000 So funny.

00:48:21.000 Oh boy.

00:48:23.000 Oh boy.

00:48:25.000 Yeah.

00:48:26.000 I don't know.

00:48:27.000 It sounds like a sneaky way to...

00:48:30.000 Get propaganda to people.

00:48:32.000 But I thought there was something else where it was proposing that they were allowed to use propaganda if it was for the greater good.

00:48:42.000 I thought that was a part of the National Defense Authorization Act, which is the one that allowed for indefinite detention.

00:48:52.000 There was one that had some real sweeping...

00:48:55.000 Oversteps where people are like, yo, indefinite detention.

00:48:59.000 Is that the same sort of stuff they used to get the guy who made the memes in trouble?

00:49:02.000 This is an article from 2013, but it explains everything we just read.

00:49:06.000 This reminds me of, for whatever reason, it reminds me of, I want to watch Fast 7 in theaters.

00:49:12.000 Fast and the Furious 7?

00:49:13.000 Fast and the Furious 7. It was only me in the theater.

00:49:16.000 Well, it was me and this one lady, and at one point the lady goes, ugh.

00:49:20.000 Walks out and leaves.

00:49:22.000 That's your fault.

00:49:23.000 You came to Fast 7. But in it, I think it's Fast 7, there is this hacker that creates...

00:49:33.000 We're good to go.

00:49:56.000 You know, skyscrapers, not this.

00:49:58.000 It's interesting.

00:49:59.000 Well, it's also, they feel like those kind of movies sell to the kind of people who like those kind of movies.

00:50:05.000 Right.

00:50:05.000 Like, those kind of concepts sell.

00:50:06.000 Like, if you like Fast and Furious 7, you know, you might have a MAGA hat. 0.99

00:50:10.000 You know, like, you might have a Confederate flag in your fucking den. 0.99

00:50:15.000 I enjoy them because it's the closest thing to as an adult. 0.99

00:50:19.000 That same feeling I got when I was a little kid and playing with cars and having them go on the TV and then on the couch.

00:50:25.000 It's the exact same feeling.

00:50:27.000 That's why I love them.

00:50:28.000 Remember when they took a car into space?

00:50:30.000 Oh, yeah!

00:50:33.000 Ludacris was driving a car in space with a steering wheel, an accelerator, everything.

00:50:38.000 If I wanted to show someone the peak of America, it's Ludacris driving a car in outer space.

00:50:43.000 It's like, hey, look how great we are.

00:50:45.000 Let's watch that video.

00:50:46.000 Look how great we are.

00:50:47.000 This is our gift to the world.

00:50:49.000 This is America at its base level.

00:50:53.000 At its finest.

00:50:54.000 At its finest.

00:50:56.000 Look what we've done. 0.98

00:50:57.000 This is how ridiculous we could be. 0.67

00:50:59.000 And by the way, that movie probably sold 100 billion people. 0.93

00:51:02.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:02.000 How many people watched that movie?

00:51:04.000 I mean, they had to make two more after that.

00:51:09.000 Oh, he looks like a minion.

00:51:10.000 Yeah, they're wearing scuba suits while they're going into space in a car.

00:51:17.000 They're in a car.

00:51:19.000 They both account for pressure differential.

00:51:21.000 Only thing is we may blow up like balloons just a little bit.

00:51:24.000 That's the only difference.

00:51:26.000 Oh, man.

00:51:26.000 There's science in this.

00:51:27.000 I love ludicrous explaining science.

00:51:29.000 This movie's so good.

00:51:33.000 Are they strapped to the rocket?

00:51:43.000 So it falls off, and now they're in a flying car that is a rocket ship.

00:51:51.000 Look at this thing.

00:51:53.000 This car is going into space, son.

00:51:56.000 They're going into space.

00:51:57.000 You have to watch this and be like, America's the best.

00:52:01.000 Look at this!

00:52:02.000 They're going into space in a car!

00:52:05.000 Wearing scuba suits.

00:52:07.000 Oh man.

00:52:09.000 Oh my god.

00:52:10.000 Janky scuba suits too.

00:52:11.000 There's no way it holds the pressurization as Ludacris said earlier.

00:52:16.000 Oh my god.

00:52:19.000 I can't wait to watch and see why they had to go to space.

00:52:22.000 I don't remember why they had to go to space.

00:52:27.000 Oh my god, the earth is flat.

00:52:31.000 That would be Fast and Furious' greatest movie ever.

00:52:34.000 That would be unreal. 0.97

00:52:36.000 I don't think they had the balls to do that. 0.99

00:52:37.000 If they did it and said the world was flat, do you know how many people would fucking cheer? 1.00

00:52:42.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:52:43.000 There are.

00:52:43.000 The Flat Earth Movement.

00:52:45.000 This is what happened with the Flat Earth Movement. 0.98

00:52:46.000 It took off, and then everybody went, oh, get the fuck out of here. 0.98

00:52:49.000 What was I thinking? 0.99

00:52:50.000 And now it seems to be back.

00:52:52.000 It seems to be back and bigger than ever.

00:52:54.000 There's more Flat Earth propaganda.

00:52:57.000 But, like, I don't understand what the point is.

00:53:00.000 Well, the point is...

00:53:02.000 Here's the point.

00:53:03.000 The point is the government lies about everything, including space.

00:53:06.000 Right.

00:53:06.000 And that we are really God's creation.

00:53:09.000 There's an ice wall around the outside of the world.

00:53:12.000 You're not allowed to pass it.

00:53:13.000 If you try to go there, the military will stop you.

00:53:15.000 The military, even though there's fucking thousands and thousands of members that have probably seen this, they've hidden this information from the general public for the greater good of mankind or for evil reasons. 0.91

00:53:25.000 Right. 0.97

00:53:26.000 Because they don't want you to know about God.

00:53:27.000 Right. 0.92

00:53:28.000 And then the stars are just bullshit, and there's a firmament, there's like a cover over the Earth, and that's why we can't go into space. 0.93

00:53:35.000 Oh, that's wild. 0.95

00:53:36.000 It's wild.

00:53:37.000 Because I always just thought, like, even if the Earth was flat, like, what am I going to do?

00:53:43.000 I'm just going to still, like, go to Chipotle and, like, live my life.

00:53:46.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:53:47.000 Like, I never understood the point of getting that hyped into it.

00:53:51.000 To me, it feels like sometimes a lot of conspiracy theories is adults who realize too late that the government's always lying to them.

00:53:58.000 Hmm.

00:53:58.000 That's what it sometimes feels like where it's like, oh, you just kind of found out too late.

00:54:01.000 So you're like, oh, I must they must go on the extreme of everything. 0.95

00:54:04.000 Well, people love conspiracy theories because some of them are real, you know, and when you find out one's really like, holy shit, they really did that? 0.97

00:54:13.000 Oh my god. 0.90

00:54:15.000 And then you start getting suspicious about everything, you know, and you can go down rabbit holes, right?

00:54:20.000 And you can find the thing about like a video on YouTube, for instance.

00:54:24.000 You can find someone who's a really good narrator, who's using good words and good sentences, and they're speaking well, and they sound intelligent, and they're saying things that are just absolutely not true.

00:54:36.000 No one's stepping in to prove it, that it's not true.

00:54:40.000 But if they were having that same conversation, and they were talking to Brian Keating, And he starts explaining to them how we know the Earth is round, how every planet we've ever observed is round, why they are round.

00:54:54.000 There's a thing called Bode's Law where you could accurately predict based on the mass and the size of a planet where the next planet is going to be.

00:55:06.000 They're all round.

00:55:09.000 How many planets have they found now?

00:55:13.000 They started finding them as the equipment got better.

00:55:16.000 But I think it was a long time before they found the first exoplanet.

00:55:19.000 The first planet that was circling around a distant star.

00:55:22.000 Now, I think they've detected hundreds and hundreds of them.

00:55:26.000 I don't even know how many they've detected.

00:55:27.000 But, like, they're all round.

00:55:29.000 Right.

00:55:29.000 All of them are round.

00:55:30.000 The idea that we're the only ones that isn't round.

00:55:33.000 We're special.

00:55:34.000 Yeah.

00:55:34.000 It's not a perfect spear, they'll tell you that.

00:55:36.000 It's almost a perfect spear.

00:55:38.000 Get at it.

00:55:38.000 Go around it with a ruler.

00:55:40.000 Do whatever the fuck you gotta do. 0.99

00:55:41.000 Yeah, it's not perfect. 1.00

00:55:42.000 It's like it bulges out at the side slightly, but you can't tell by looking at it, stupid. 0.99

00:55:48.000 Right. 0.99

00:55:48.000 It's still pretty much a circle. 0.99

00:55:50.000 It's a fucking globe. 1.00

00:55:52.000 Right. 1.00

00:55:52.000 But why would you want to think it's flat? 1.00

00:55:54.000 I don't understand why that helps you to think it's flat.

00:55:57.000 It's a waste of time.

00:55:59.000 The mystery...

00:56:01.000 Is in the entire thing itself.

00:56:03.000 The mystery is that we are literally on an organic spaceship floating in what might be God.

00:56:11.000 The universe might be God.

00:56:13.000 We might be floating in God.

00:56:16.000 Above us is just immense energy. 0.99

00:56:20.000 Nuclear explosions, many times bigger than our sun, surrounded by planets and fucking black holes and dark matter. 0.93

00:56:29.000 It is wild up there. 0.98

00:56:33.000 And you're concentrating on the shape of Earth.

00:56:35.000 It's such a waste of time.

00:56:37.000 And this idea that there's some great conspiracy to protect people from it or to keep that information because if we knew that God was real, we would...

00:56:47.000 No, no.

00:56:48.000 I know it's fun.

00:56:50.000 I know it's fun to believe that. 1.00

00:56:52.000 But this motherfucker is round. 0.99

00:56:53.000 It doesn't mean there's no God. 1.00

00:56:55.000 It doesn't mean God didn't create it.

00:56:56.000 No, because really no one knows.

00:56:58.000 No one knows if the devil's real.

00:57:00.000 It's all speculation, right?

00:57:02.000 Yeah, we're all just doing our best guess.

00:57:04.000 Well, it definitely feels like there's something more.

00:57:07.000 Whatever this is, whatever the energy that we share with each other, there's definitely some sort of spirituality in this world that you have to sort of let in.

00:57:15.000 I think there's something to the energy.

00:57:19.000 I've had this in the isolation tank.

00:57:22.000 I've had it in psychedelic experiences.

00:57:24.000 There's moments.

00:57:26.000 Where you reach a state where you understand that your experiences with people, all the things you do in life is energy.

00:57:35.000 And there's good energy and there's negative energy.

00:57:39.000 And the more negative energy you put out, that ripples.

00:57:42.000 It creates more negative energy.

00:57:44.000 It creates more problems.

00:57:46.000 Like, people that want to start arguments and fights with people. 0.99

00:57:50.000 People that want to, like, god damn, man. 0.96

00:57:53.000 I know you're probably frustrated in your life, and you think that's part of your personality to be blunt, but every time someone does that, it ripples out. 0.99

00:58:01.000 That person feels negative about people, and then they're always taking it into their mind, oh, sometimes people can be douchebags.

00:58:07.000 And then it's just going to create more issues in your life, in the lives of the people that you run into.

00:58:12.000 But if you can find a way to recognize that and shift it, Then you could do the opposite.

00:58:20.000 And the more positive you put out and the more positive conversations, the positive interactions you have with people, then they have more positive ones.

00:58:28.000 And then everybody from that, it ripples out in a good way.

00:58:32.000 Right.

00:58:32.000 It's very much you get out what you put in.

00:58:34.000 There's some weird thing, but we are all connected.

00:58:36.000 And it's not just by your experiences.

00:58:41.000 There's energy that we're giving each other.

00:58:44.000 There's something in some way that's hereto unseen.

00:58:50.000 We're experiencing each other in an unmeasurable way.

00:58:53.000 Right.

00:58:54.000 Right.

00:58:54.000 And we have a profound effect.

00:58:56.000 The energy you bring into the room.

00:58:58.000 You see it at a club all the time.

00:58:59.000 100%.

00:59:00.000 If the first point of contact they meet, whoever bags their phone, is having a rough day, and they let that rough day come out of them, the shows going forward will not be as good because their first point of contact is someone who is not in a good space.

00:59:17.000 And they take that space with them and bring it to their seat.

00:59:20.000 Like, it's all those sort of things, like the small little things matter in a comedy show.

00:59:25.000 100%.

00:59:26.000 Where it's like, yeah, the way they seat the room sometimes fucks with the energy if they seat it poorly.

00:59:31.000 And it's like, all that stuff matters.

00:59:33.000 You can't seat people.

00:59:35.000 You have to seat them close and next to each other all the way through.

00:59:39.000 That builds energy.

00:59:40.000 If you seat people randomly, then the show has no cohesive feel to it.

00:59:45.000 It's very interesting.

00:59:46.000 Yeah.

00:59:47.000 It's well and also like the camaraderie at the club.

00:59:50.000 That's all very contagious too.

00:59:52.000 The camaraderie and the friendship and the support and how everybody's very cool and very complimentary and there isn't that weird fucking competitive energy that used to get Particularly in the 90s, man. 0.82

01:00:04.000 When I first came to the store, it was, God, it was so dog-eat-dog.

01:00:08.000 Because everybody was trying to get on a sitcom. 0.99

01:00:10.000 And if you and I both went on an audition for a sitcom and you got it, I would be like, God damn it. 0.98

01:00:16.000 Now his life has changed. 0.97

01:00:17.000 I see you on TV Guide now. 1.00

01:00:19.000 This motherfucker. 1.00

01:00:21.000 Like, he's living the good life. 1.00

01:00:23.000 And I'm over here grinding at 11.30 sets.

01:00:26.000 Yeah, trying to get someone to look at me.

01:00:28.000 Yeah, in front of 50 people.

01:00:29.000 I can't get an agent. 1.00

01:00:31.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:00:32.000 And so there was this hyper-competitiveness amongst comedians. 1.00

01:00:37.000 And it's all these bad mindsets.

01:00:39.000 They had this idea that somehow or another, if you got something and it was good for you, it was somehow or another taking away from my success. 1.00

01:00:47.000 It's really stupid. 0.98

01:00:48.000 But it was all because of the fact that everybody was clamoring for a tiny amount of jobs. 0.99

01:00:52.000 Yeah, it seemed like back then the industry held the keys.

01:00:55.000 They did.

01:00:55.000 Yeah, they really held the keys and now it doesn't feel like that at all.

01:00:59.000 At all.

01:01:00.000 It's like you can just do what you want.

01:01:02.000 That's the best part.

01:01:05.000 If you come here, you don't have to worry about like, oh, if I say this, will I not get this job?

01:01:10.000 I can just talk about what's on my mind.

01:01:13.000 Yeah, you can do whatever you want.

01:01:15.000 Right, that's a level of freedom that, you know, and I do wonder if, you know, I mean, because eventually industry and stuff are going to start coming here.

01:01:24.000 What does that mean anymore, though?

01:01:25.000 You know, like, eventually, but they already have people in L.A. Just stick with those people that are stuck in L.A. Right.

01:01:32.000 Because it's just...

01:01:33.000 The industry out here is podcasting.

01:01:36.000 That's true.

01:01:36.000 That's the major entertainment industry now.

01:01:38.000 That's true.

01:01:38.000 But I will say this.

01:01:39.000 A great stand-up comic can do a lot of...

01:01:42.000 Like, you know, Robin Williams.

01:01:44.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:44.000 You know what I mean?

01:01:46.000 The reality is that if all the great young stand-up comics start moving here, well, then your next great actor might be there.

01:01:53.000 I'll never forget walking in the comedy store and you see Michael Keaton's name lit up.

01:01:58.000 It's like, oh, you could be a comedian and then be Batman.

01:02:00.000 Yeah.

01:02:01.000 Yeah.

01:02:01.000 Like, that's a possibility that's open for you.

01:02:05.000 So, you know, a lot of these great actors were stand-ups.

01:02:10.000 And so a lot of great writers were stand-ups.

01:02:12.000 So eventually they'll be like, well, if that's where the talent is, that's where we have to go.

01:02:15.000 Maybe.

01:02:16.000 I think they're going to stay put.

01:02:17.000 You think so? 1.00

01:02:18.000 Yeah, I think they're going to ride it out until that fucking ship goes right into rocks. 1.00

01:02:22.000 Boom! 0.99

01:02:23.000 There is, like, almost a vested interest for people in L.A. to, like, not want this to work.

01:02:28.000 Us?

01:02:28.000 This place?

01:02:29.000 Yeah.

01:02:30.000 Okay.

01:02:30.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:31.000 Well, good luck. 1.00

01:02:32.000 It's so stupid to think like that. 1.00

01:02:35.000 Any comic should be happy that there's more comedy. 1.00

01:02:38.000 Any comic should be happy.

01:02:39.000 And also, by the way, if we're here, you get more stage time in L.A. So take advantage of that.

01:02:44.000 Because there's a lot of people getting stage time at the store that probably wouldn't get it if Tom Segura was still in town, if Christina Pazitsky was still in town.

01:02:52.000 So many people moved here.

01:02:53.000 Duncan...

01:02:54.000 Everyone moved here.

01:02:55.000 So it's like there's a lot of spots for you in LA. That's true.

01:02:59.000 You know, just try to do what we're doing.

01:03:01.000 Try to do it the right way. 0.94

01:03:03.000 Just try to be supportive and fun and don't push a fucking certain ideology on each other. 0.74

01:03:08.000 Well, you can't push ideologies. 0.94

01:03:10.000 Not in stand-up. 1.00

01:03:11.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

01:03:12.000 Trying to do woke stand-up or trying to turn a club woke is like... 1.00

01:03:16.000 Well, yeah, just trying to be any sort of, like, you have to think along this line.

01:03:19.000 It's like, no, that's not what...

01:03:22.000 Imagine if there was an only right-wing comedy club. 0.83

01:03:25.000 Right, it would be awful.

01:03:27.000 No Trump jokes, bro.

01:03:28.000 Nobody wants to hear them.

01:03:29.000 What?

01:03:30.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:03:31.000 It's crazy.

01:03:32.000 You can't walk an ideological line, and you can't, like...

01:03:35.000 What I find so funny is that, like, there's so many of these, like, you'll hear, like, oh, you know, we need to be more diversity in the club or whatever.

01:03:43.000 And then, you know, a lot of times when Hollywood does diversity, I think something that Brian Simpson and I have talked about, they'll just take, oh, we need a brown guy?

01:03:51.000 We'll just take the first brown guy. 0.99

01:03:53.000 That's, like, kind of whatever.

01:03:55.000 They can kind of do it.

01:03:57.000 But, like, when you focus on, like, hey, let's just bring the funniest people here, the diversity naturally comes.

01:04:03.000 Yeah.

01:04:03.000 Right.

01:04:04.000 Like, funny doesn't fall along the lines of race, gender, sexuality.

01:04:09.000 It's just, are you funny or are you not funny?

01:04:12.000 Yes.

01:04:12.000 And I would say the mothership lineups, without really trying to be diverse, are actually diverse.

01:04:21.000 Yeah.

01:04:21.000 Just talented people.

01:04:23.000 All that matters.

01:04:24.000 All walks of life.

01:04:24.000 Yes.

01:04:24.000 Can you make people laugh?

01:04:27.000 Yeah.

01:04:27.000 That's the only thing that should matter, and it doesn't matter how you do it.

01:04:31.000 If you can do it, you can do it.

01:04:32.000 Yeah.

01:04:34.000 Yeah, it's a meritocracy.

01:04:36.000 It really is.

01:04:37.000 And it should be.

01:04:38.000 But it's also...

01:04:39.000 There's a system at that place.

01:04:42.000 You're going to get a chance to do professional work eventually.

01:04:45.000 Someone's going to bring you on the road with them.

01:04:47.000 Oh, absolutely.

01:04:48.000 And then when that happens...

01:04:49.000 Tony brings people on the road with them.

01:04:51.000 He brings Cam.

01:04:52.000 Cam started out on Kill Tony.

01:04:54.000 All these guys are real new.

01:04:56.000 When he takes these guys on the road with them and they start getting professional careers, other comics will now do the same thing.

01:05:03.000 And it's just...

01:05:04.000 You have a path, whereas I think when we all started out, it was a lot more random.

01:05:09.000 There was no clear place where you could go and you could learn from watching all these other comics, and then you could get spots, and then you could eventually be a pro.

01:05:17.000 Right, right.

01:05:18.000 And then the stuff on that path is open for you.

01:05:21.000 I look at Cam, and Cam is pretty famous off one clip of being in Austin.

01:05:27.000 That's a famous guy.

01:05:29.000 You know? 1.00

01:05:29.000 And it's like, that's fucking dope. 1.00

01:05:31.000 That's awesome. 1.00

01:05:32.000 It's like, you can't tell me that I'm not famous.

01:05:35.000 Look at my friend.

01:05:36.000 He's famous, you know?

01:05:38.000 Derek right now is on a European tour with Schultz.

01:05:40.000 Just did the Royal Albert Hall.

01:05:42.000 You can't tell me I didn't just do the Royal Albert Hall.

01:05:44.000 Because that's what it feels like.

01:05:45.000 It's like, oh, we got that from here.

01:05:47.000 Look at, just go, go, go.

01:05:49.000 Everybody up.

01:05:50.000 It's pretty amazing.

01:05:51.000 It's awesome!

01:05:52.000 It's like the energy here.

01:05:55.000 It's crazy that it all just lined up perfectly.

01:05:58.000 I moved here.

01:05:59.000 I'm like, I gotta do something.

01:06:01.000 And then when Tom moved here, he was sick of it too.

01:06:05.000 And he moved here not long after me.

01:06:07.000 He goes, you gonna open up a club?

01:06:08.000 I go, 100%.

01:06:09.000 He goes, okay, I'm moving to Austin. 1.00

01:06:10.000 Damn. 1.00

01:06:11.000 I was like, oh shit. 1.00

01:06:12.000 Damn. 1.00

01:06:12.000 That's when it felt real. 1.00

01:06:14.000 Because they picked up their family, all their employees, everybody.

01:06:17.000 We're moving to Texas.

01:06:19.000 Started their studio here.

01:06:20.000 I was like, whoa, okay.

01:06:22.000 And so, you know, there was enough stand-up in town that we always could work at the Vulcan, but this dream of putting together this, like, perfect comedy community.

01:06:33.000 Boy, when it happened, it's almost like, dude, it felt like that building wanted us to be there.

01:06:39.000 You know, like this weird energy, like the building was like, thank you.

01:06:43.000 Well, the building is alive.

01:06:45.000 That's what I like about the building.

01:06:47.000 It's alive.

01:06:48.000 There's a history before us.

01:06:50.000 Massive.

01:06:51.000 And that matters.

01:06:52.000 It adds flavor.

01:06:53.000 It's like the story.

01:06:54.000 It was that mob hangout that Ciro's- There's a swastika on the wall.

01:07:00.000 Yeah.

01:07:01.000 We tore the walls down. 0.99

01:07:03.000 So we tore the outside of the wall and you see the exposed brick and one of the exposed brick was a fucking swastika. 0.98

01:07:08.000 And I was like, we should probably get rid of that. 0.97

01:07:11.000 And it was there for months.

01:07:13.000 Nobody got rid of it.

01:07:14.000 And one day I got there and I go, hey guys, we're going to open in like two months. 0.99

01:07:18.000 Get rid of the fucking swastika. 0.99

01:07:20.000 And so you know what they did? 1.00

01:07:22.000 They cleaned, it was black spray paint.

01:07:24.000 They cleaned off the swastika.

01:07:27.000 So now it was even clearer.

01:07:29.000 Because now it was in white. 0.99

01:07:31.000 I was like, hey, get the fucking design off the wall! 1.00

01:07:36.000 Jesus Christ! 1.00

01:07:38.000 You could take that as the Hindu symbol for good fortune.

01:07:41.000 Isn't it the opposite way, though?

01:07:43.000 Isn't the swastika going the wrong way?

01:07:45.000 The swastika's on its edge, and I think the Hindu one is flat. 1.00

01:07:47.000 Okay.

01:07:48.000 Is it going in the same direction?

01:07:50.000 Because there's different ones.

01:07:52.000 I think they might be going separate directions.

01:07:54.000 It's just very funny, because my girlfriend's Hindu, and just walking around her house, and there's just swastikas everywhere!

01:07:59.000 That guy ruined that design.

01:08:02.000 That design had been around forever.

01:08:04.000 It's like a blessing thing.

01:08:05.000 You'll see a lot of...

01:08:07.000 This happened in Derek's apartment complex.

01:08:10.000 He was like, yo, this is crazy.

01:08:11.000 And it was a giant swastika on the hood of the car.

01:08:15.000 But it was a Hindu swastika.

01:08:17.000 And that's one of the things they do to bless...

01:08:21.000 Their automobile.

01:08:22.000 Like something new.

01:08:23.000 Maybe ghost stripes.

01:08:24.000 Yeah.

01:08:25.000 Totally. 0.99

01:08:26.000 It's fucking obvious. 0.98

01:08:28.000 No one's going to Google that. 1.00

01:08:30.000 They're going to just think you're a Nazi. 1.00

01:08:31.000 Look at this fucking Hindu Nazi. 1.00

01:08:33.000 This is crazy. 1.00

01:08:34.000 It's been co-opted.

01:08:37.000 It's like Clayton Bigsby. 0.99

01:08:38.000 The black white supremacist. 1.00

01:08:39.000 You're a Hindu Nazi? 1.00

01:08:40.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:08:42.000 If they're someone from India, they might not know the implications of that. 0.99

01:08:46.000 I'll never forget, in 10th grade, we were doing a World War II history unit, and my teacher was like, you guys think, oh, Hitler and all this stuff, this is all common knowledge, but check this out.

01:09:00.000 We had a girl from India in our class, born and raised, and just moved in.

01:09:04.000 She was like, do you know anything about Hitler and the Nazis?

01:09:07.000 And she was like, no, no idea.

01:09:09.000 They never really taught that to them over there.

01:09:12.000 Right?

01:09:13.000 It was just...

01:09:14.000 Yeah, right?

01:09:14.000 Because you would think that, oh, hey, this is like...

01:09:16.000 And, you know, this is like the common knowledge of everyone, but it's like if you don't know, if you grow up in a culture that doesn't really teach you that, it's like you're not going to know.

01:09:25.000 Oh, my God.

01:09:27.000 That's crazy.

01:09:28.000 They didn't teach them about Hitler?

01:09:31.000 At least that girl and wherever she was from. 0.98

01:09:33.000 I don't want to put that on all of India. 1.00

01:09:35.000 It's a big place.

01:09:36.000 That seems insane.

01:09:36.000 Right?

01:09:37.000 It seems insane, but if it doesn't really affect your life in that major way, I can see how you would never get there.

01:09:43.000 How would it not affect your life if there was a world war going on and people were dropping bombs in Japan that obliterated a city?

01:09:51.000 Yeah.

01:09:52.000 How do you not know about that?

01:09:55.000 You're too busy trying to fight the British in your backyard. 1.00

01:09:58.000 Right.

01:09:59.000 But how do you not know about nuclear bombs?

01:10:01.000 I mean, they definitely know about nuclear bombs, because India and Pakistan definitely have them.

01:10:05.000 Right.

01:10:06.000 How do you not know that the United States detonated them on Japan in World War II? It's easy. 0.57

01:10:12.000 It's crazy to see what people can actually miss when it's not put in front of them.

01:10:16.000 God.

01:10:16.000 Yeah, it was eye-opening to me.

01:10:18.000 So it's like, oh, okay, so...

01:10:21.000 I would venture to guess that person who did that in their apartment complex is from India.

01:10:27.000 Yeah.

01:10:28.000 For sure.

01:10:29.000 And just has no idea, like, oh, this is like a thing.

01:10:32.000 This is like a big deal, especially on a college campus.

01:10:34.000 Oh my god.

01:10:35.000 In the middle of Texas, it's like a thing.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, you're gonna get...

01:10:38.000 There's no explaining your way out of that.

01:10:40.000 No, no, no, no.

01:10:41.000 You don't get...

01:10:42.000 It's like, if you like the Hitler mustache, you can't wear that mustache. 0.78

01:10:45.000 There's no benefit of the doubt there.

01:10:47.000 You don't get that, like, right away.

01:10:48.000 Isn't it wild?

01:10:49.000 That guy killed that mustache forever.

01:10:51.000 Yeah, it really did.

01:10:52.000 It's over.

01:10:54.000 It's not a great mustache.

01:10:55.000 It's a weird look.

01:10:57.000 Michael Jordan tried to bring it back.

01:10:59.000 Yeah.

01:11:00.000 Two goats.

01:11:01.000 Yeah.

01:11:05.000 But even Jordan couldn't pull it.

01:11:07.000 I was like, nah, I gotta get rid of this Hitler. 0.99

01:11:09.000 No, it's just...

01:11:10.000 You know, there's probably...

01:11:11.000 At a certain point, we'll be far enough away that you can do that.

01:11:15.000 We forget everything eventually.

01:11:18.000 That's what time does.

01:11:19.000 You can wear a Viking beard now, and it's cool. 1.00

01:11:21.000 You can have beads in it and shit, and nobody goes, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

01:11:25.000 All those people did was rape and pillage. 1.00

01:11:27.000 All they did was murder folks. 1.00

01:11:28.000 They'd go into a town and light everyone on fire. 0.94

01:11:30.000 That's the beard.

01:11:32.000 They wear that beard.

01:11:36.000 Four or five hundred years from now, there's going to be a football team called the Minnesota Reichs or whatever.

01:11:41.000 Like a Minnesota Nazis. 0.79

01:11:43.000 Yeah.

01:11:44.000 Wow.

01:11:45.000 Well, the Mongols. 0.89

01:11:47.000 I mean, people dress up as Genghis Khan for Halloween.

01:11:49.000 They don't think anything of it.

01:11:50.000 Yeah, and that guy killed the most people.

01:11:52.000 The most people ever.

01:11:53.000 Well, did he kill more than Mao?

01:11:55.000 He killed somewhere between 50 and 70 million people during his lifetime.

01:12:01.000 Okay.

01:12:01.000 So much that it changed the carbon footprint of Earth.

01:12:04.000 Okay.

01:12:05.000 So if they do core samples, and they go during the time of the life of Genghis Khan, you'll find less carbon on Earth.

01:12:12.000 He killed 10% of the world's population.

01:12:16.000 Wild.

01:12:17.000 Dude, they killed an entire city in Jin China and stacked the bones so high that the Kwar of Chorisma, the Shah of Chorisma, when they sent an embersary to go to visit Jin China, they thought it was a snow-capped mountain. 0.88

01:12:33.000 And as they got closer, they had abandoned the roads because there were so many bodies rotting in the roads that their wheels were getting stuck in the mud of decaying bodies.

01:12:45.000 And then when they finally got to the city, they realized that thing that they thought was a snow-capped mountain was a pile of bones.

01:12:52.000 They were.

01:12:53.000 In the middle of the city.

01:12:54.000 They killed a million-plus people.

01:12:55.000 They killed everyone in the city. 1.00

01:12:57.000 Yeah, they did some wild shit. 1.00

01:12:59.000 Wild shit. 1.00

01:13:00.000 Didn't they make, like, all the men at one city just watch as they murdered all the women and children? 1.00

01:13:07.000 They did all kinds of stuff like that.

01:13:08.000 They lit people on fire and used them as catapults to land on people's roofs.

01:13:12.000 That's pretty wild. 0.77

01:13:13.000 Because people are fat and they cook real good. 0.84

01:13:16.000 If you light them on fire, cover them with kerosene and launch them through the air, they would land on rooftops and just light the houses on fire. 0.98

01:13:24.000 Bro.

01:13:24.000 Dude.

01:13:26.000 Bro.

01:13:26.000 They would take people, like generals and kings, and put them under a floor.

01:13:36.000 So they would tie them down, and then they would put the floor on top of them.

01:13:40.000 And then they'd put a table on top of the floor, and then they would all get on top of that table and eat dinner.

01:13:45.000 While these people were slowly getting crushed to death. 1.00

01:13:49.000 Damn, dude. 1.00

01:13:50.000 People are screaming in agony and they're just eating. 1.00

01:13:53.000 Damn. 1.00

01:13:54.000 They would eat each other. 1.00

01:13:55.000 If they were starving, there's reports that they would choose one guy and they would kill him and cook him. 1.00

01:14:02.000 Damn, dude. 1.00

01:14:03.000 Ancient warfare is brutal. 1.00

01:14:05.000 They lived off of milk and blood from their horses.

01:14:07.000 So they'd take the milk from their horses and they would cut their jugular and take some of the blood and pour it in with the milk and they would use that to stay alive. 1.00

01:14:17.000 Goddamn. 0.99

01:14:17.000 Yeah, dude. 0.99

01:14:18.000 Yeah, imagine fighting someone doing that.

01:14:21.000 They didn't change their clothes.

01:14:22.000 They literally let them rot off their body.

01:14:24.000 They never showered. 0.96

01:14:25.000 So they stunk.

01:14:27.000 They literally had rotting, like, animal skins.

01:14:30.000 Oftentimes rat skins.

01:14:32.000 Like, their entire garment would be made out of rats that they skinned and sewed together. 0.67

01:14:37.000 And it would be rotting off their body.

01:14:42.000 Since we're so far away, all this sounds really badass.

01:14:45.000 It sounds badass.

01:14:47.000 At the time, it sounds absolutely horrifying.

01:14:50.000 Having to face that army sounds insane. 0.97

01:14:52.000 But so far away, it's like, damn, that's pretty metal.

01:14:55.000 Isn't it crazy that over time, atrocities like that become fascinating? 0.94

01:14:59.000 Instead of what's going on right now in Israel and Palestine, which is too close to us. 0.97

01:15:04.000 Right.

01:15:05.000 It's what's happening now.

01:15:06.000 That was a normal Sunday for the Mongols. 1.00

01:15:09.000 Right.

01:15:10.000 Stormed a rave and killed 200 people.

01:15:12.000 I was going to say, the sort of benefit of having all these cameras and having all this information is that it is less brutal than that.

01:15:20.000 Yeah.

01:15:21.000 It is less brutal than that.

01:15:22.000 So if you were to talk about the hospital bombing, well, maybe if it's just a war of information and it just hit a parking lot, well, 500 people aren't dead.

01:15:32.000 It's just a hypothetical 500 people that are dead.

01:15:35.000 It's like a...

01:15:35.000 Well, Coleman Hughes said that it's actually probably somewhere between 50 and 100 people are dead.

01:15:40.000 And, you know, they don't even know what number that is because the original claim was that it hit the hospital.

01:15:46.000 In fact, the New York Times used an image that was not of that hospital.

01:15:52.000 In their story about the bomb from Israel hitting the hospital.

01:15:56.000 So they use this destroyed building that wasn't...

01:15:59.000 So they put out a fake picture with a fake story.

01:16:02.000 Because I don't think anyone knows really what's what over there with the pictures they're getting. 0.95

01:16:05.000 Well, you can't fucking print that if you're the New York Times. 0.89

01:16:09.000 We're already struggling to trust you. 0.98

01:16:11.000 Well, you would think you couldn't print that if you're the New York Times.

01:16:13.000 At this point, it's more par for the course.

01:16:15.000 It's like, oh, of course the New York Times would print that.

01:16:16.000 But how?

01:16:17.000 How are you doing that?

01:16:19.000 Why are you doing that?

01:16:21.000 The need for news to get clicks and ratings is probably one of the worst.

01:16:29.000 The amount of damage that the 24-hour news networks simply by existing have caused on us is huge.

01:16:36.000 From the news being a thing to be like, this is how we get out information, to being like, oh, we need to jack up and get ratings.

01:16:45.000 And we need to make sure we have clicks and eyeballs.

01:16:48.000 That is damaging.

01:16:50.000 And you definitely are like, well, if you're in the New York Times, you're like, well, if we just run with this now, the amount of attention that got, it was a whole day of everything on Twitter was about what happened there.

01:17:02.000 Who shot the Rockets?

01:17:04.000 What did it actually hit?

01:17:05.000 It was all that.

01:17:06.000 And I'm on Twitter.

01:17:07.000 I'm checking these things, too.

01:17:09.000 And apparently, the way they found out that it was not Israel, but there's proof of it, was a video that...

01:17:16.000 Was it CNN accident or Al Jazeera?

01:17:19.000 Al Jazeera accidentally aired this video.

01:17:22.000 And it was the video showed where the rocket came from.

01:17:25.000 And it showed it going down in the city.

01:17:28.000 And it showed going down where the parking lot of the hotel was, allegedly.

01:17:33.000 Right.

01:17:33.000 But even then, when you see something like that, you're like, I don't know where this video's from.

01:17:36.000 Yeah.

01:17:37.000 That Unreal Engine.

01:17:39.000 Right.

01:17:41.000 I just assume that everything we're being fed about that is just a lie.

01:17:45.000 Well, there was a bunch of videos that are being spread around at the beginning of the Ukraine war.

01:17:49.000 And then someone said, hey, this is like literally from a video game.

01:17:53.000 Like this is a scene in a video.

01:17:54.000 Wasn't that the case, Jamie?

01:17:56.000 Right.

01:17:56.000 Which is bananas.

01:17:58.000 It's wild.

01:17:58.000 That's wild.

01:17:59.000 But that's how good this fake shit is now. 1.00

01:18:01.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:18:02.000 And if the government is allowed to do that or does that if they're not allowed or whatever, they can do kind of whatever they want now and make it look real.

01:18:11.000 Right.

01:18:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:18:12.000 I was thinking this the other day.

01:18:13.000 What this has shown me is the importance of if you're in a war of having a social media manager.

01:18:19.000 It's like might as well be a general.

01:18:22.000 Right.

01:18:22.000 Might as well be a general.

01:18:23.000 I mean, like the official Israel Twitter that Israeli states stated is going crazy.

01:18:30.000 They're like tagging Taylor Swift and stuff.

01:18:31.000 They're like, I saw a tweet.

01:18:34.000 They're tagging Taylor Swift?

01:18:34.000 Why?

01:18:35.000 They want her to retweet it?

01:18:36.000 No, because her bodyguard is part of the IDF, I think.

01:18:41.000 I saw a tweet about how they ran a sponsored ad.

01:18:45.000 I don't know if the picture of the sponsored ad is real or fake.

01:18:49.000 You know what I mean?

01:18:50.000 It's even that.

01:18:50.000 Is that real?

01:18:51.000 Is that fake?

01:18:51.000 Because I can sort of see them doing that.

01:18:53.000 Right.

01:18:54.000 What is your thought on...

01:18:56.000 There's people that think that Twitter should be regulated more and that it should be moderated more because of the false information that comes out.

01:19:03.000 I think the community notes is the best solution to that.

01:19:07.000 That's the best you can do, right?

01:19:09.000 Because it's like, if you...

01:19:11.000 The road to hell is paved with good intentions, right?

01:19:14.000 So if you're like, let's make sure that no fake things are posted on Twitter.

01:19:19.000 Right.

01:19:19.000 Well, then who decides what's fake?

01:19:21.000 Right.

01:19:21.000 And this is one of the things we ran into with the Hunter Biden laptops.

01:19:24.000 Right.

01:19:25.000 And one of the things we ran into with Alex Berenson getting removed from Twitter for printing actual studies and talking about real data about COVID and vaccines.

01:19:34.000 You can't do that.

01:19:35.000 And they want to do that.

01:19:37.000 They want to be able to shut up anybody that's doing something that's going to fuck up that business.

01:19:41.000 And if you're doing that on Twitter, then when you found out that the FBI was contacting Twitter, getting them to take things down, that is wild.

01:19:50.000 And it's very short-sighted, too, for people to be like, well, you know, so you would, let's say, with that specifically, you'd be like, you know, one of the people who are pro-vaccine is like, oh, this is the science.

01:20:00.000 We're taking anti-science stuff out.

01:20:01.000 And let's say that's what's happening, right?

01:20:02.000 And you're fine with that.

01:20:04.000 But you are not seeing the fact that, like, that, whatever is happening there can easily just turn on you.

01:20:09.000 Yeah.

01:20:10.000 And be like, well, what he believes is wrong.

01:20:12.000 You'd be like, no, no, no, but it's right.

01:20:13.000 Well, not only that, the problem was they were stifling debate from real scientists.

01:20:19.000 Right, right.

01:20:19.000 Like Jay Bhattacharya, like people from Stanford, real epidemiologists, real virologists, real people that were...

01:20:27.000 Saying, hey, this approach is wrong.

01:20:30.000 This is not the way to do it. 0.99

01:20:31.000 Lockdown, school closures, masks on kids, all that shit. 0.99

01:20:34.000 This is not right. 0.99

01:20:35.000 This is not good science.

01:20:37.000 And they were getting silenced.

01:20:38.000 Right.

01:20:38.000 That's when it gets crazy.

01:20:39.000 When actual experts in the field who really know what they're talking about are not allowed to give dissenting opinions.

01:20:45.000 That's the only way science gets settled.

01:20:50.000 Right.

01:20:53.000 Right.

01:21:08.000 You know, during the lockdown, I was doing this thing on TikTok where I would just grow my beard every day until the vaccine came out.

01:21:18.000 And then I would shave my beard when I took the vaccine.

01:21:21.000 So that's what I did.

01:21:21.000 I got the vaccine beard.

01:21:23.000 And then, yeah, it was a fun moment.

01:21:25.000 I had 40,000 people watch me shave.

01:21:29.000 It might be it.

01:21:29.000 It was like a good moment.

01:21:30.000 That's ridiculous. 0.93

01:21:31.000 But at the time, you couldn't have told me that like, oh, okay, this is bad. 0.98

01:21:35.000 This is bad.

01:21:36.000 You know, because I was like, oh, right.

01:21:37.000 This is...

01:21:37.000 Of course they want us to get out of this.

01:21:39.000 Of course they want us to like...

01:21:41.000 You know, and so they did a good job of keeping us pent up for so long that when...

01:21:47.000 The only option was this vaccine.

01:21:50.000 And they told us that this was this vaccine. 1.00

01:21:52.000 Me and people like me would be like, well, all these anti-vax people are fucking idiots. 1.00

01:21:56.000 This is a way out. 1.00

01:21:57.000 This is the way out.

01:21:58.000 You don't want the way out?

01:22:00.000 And you couldn't have told me back then.

01:22:01.000 It took me moving to Texas and then being here and being like, oh, they were just open the whole time and everyone's fine?

01:22:10.000 Everyone's fine.

01:22:11.000 But a lot of people got vaccinated here, too.

01:22:12.000 A lot of people had to for travel.

01:22:15.000 This is where it became weird for me is when they started forcing people to do it, but at the same time...

01:22:27.000 Yeah, I know.

01:22:27.000 It's just weird.

01:22:29.000 Like, why you have to to go inside?

01:22:31.000 Well, it also wasn't scientific because they didn't account for people that had been infected and had recovered, which was far superior protection than the vaccine was imparting.

01:22:41.000 They didn't look at the data.

01:22:42.000 It was just there was a binary solution.

01:22:44.000 There was one thing.

01:22:45.000 You had to do this, or if you didn't do that, you were part of the problem.

01:22:47.000 And they did a great job of...

01:22:51.000 Keeping people pent up inside.

01:22:53.000 When they offered that solution, they were like, this is the way out.

01:22:56.000 But I think they played that hand too poorly.

01:23:00.000 Because I don't think people are ever going to go for that again.

01:23:03.000 No.

01:23:04.000 I was talking to my mom about this.

01:23:06.000 And she's, you know...

01:23:09.000 And she was very, everyone get vaccinated.

01:23:11.000 I was like, we were talking about the new booster and she's like, I don't think I'm going to take that.

01:23:14.000 It's like, yeah, they overplayed it.

01:23:16.000 They overplayed it.

01:23:17.000 But for a while they did a good job of making everyone forget that the pharmaceuticals were just evil.

01:23:21.000 Did you see that child?

01:23:22.000 He's a boy, he was eight years old, who was the face of the Israeli vaccine ad.

01:23:29.000 It was like, there's a propaganda ad that they put out.

01:23:32.000 He just died of a heart attack.

01:23:33.000 See, I saw that and my first thought was like, is that real though?

01:23:37.000 Right.

01:23:38.000 Good question.

01:23:39.000 Like, is that actually real?

01:23:40.000 Because I just saw it on some tweet.

01:23:42.000 Last year, only 17% of Americans got the fall COVID booster.

01:23:46.000 So far this year, it's under 3% per Bloomberg.

01:23:49.000 Well, I guess if you're like an old person, you would be real tempted to get that.

01:23:55.000 And maybe it would help you if you're really old and you have a weak immune system, it might give you a boost.

01:23:59.000 But... 0.98

01:24:00.000 To give it to kids, to give it to eight-year-olds, there's fucking no reason for that. 0.96

01:24:04.000 They know there's no reason for that. 0.95

01:24:05.000 There's no data that shows there's a good reason for that.

01:24:07.000 That was one of the first things we knew is that it didn't kill young people.

01:24:10.000 That's one of the scariest things is they're willing to do it to kids.

01:24:13.000 That's scary.

01:24:14.000 Oh, yeah.

01:24:15.000 Because there's a massive amount of profit in it.

01:24:17.000 No one wants to think that they think like that, but they do.

01:24:19.000 Yeah, it's like, what am I going to worry about some random kid?

01:24:22.000 I can get money.

01:24:23.000 Sure.

01:24:24.000 Money?

01:24:24.000 So did you find out about the eight-year-old kid?

01:24:27.000 Is that real?

01:24:28.000 I see one link and it doesn't seem like the most reputable site, so I'm looking smarter.

01:24:35.000 Yeah, because that's the first thing I thought when I saw that.

01:24:38.000 Yeah, it could be fake.

01:24:39.000 Because I saw it was posted by Died Suddenly, that Twitter account.

01:24:44.000 So I was like, I've got to see it coming from someone else who doesn't have skin in the game like that.

01:24:47.000 Right.

01:24:48.000 Died Suddenly.

01:24:48.000 A lot of those Died Suddenly's people that were suffering from leukemia for 10 years.

01:24:55.000 Yeah, or it'll be like because sometimes like there is that that correlation with like the athletes right or like more athletes are doing it now.

01:25:02.000 Yeah, that's real.

01:25:03.000 Well the the the scariest one is the excess mortality data for young people and Right.

01:25:09.000 Because the data for young people from, I think it's age, whatever it is, 12 to 49 is up way, like very high.

01:25:17.000 Right.

01:25:18.000 I read something about it being around 40%, which is crazy.

01:25:22.000 Man, I can't- Excess, all-cause mortality.

01:25:25.000 I can't- I can't think of someone who's been vindicated more than Aaron Rodgers in all of this.

01:25:32.000 Because I remember when he first went out, I was so mad because I was like, come on, you know?

01:25:38.000 You're supposed to be the face.

01:25:39.000 I'm still very vaccinated.

01:25:40.000 And at the time, I'm a big Niners fan, so the...

01:25:46.000 Packers were supposed to play Kansas City, who had just beat the Niners in the Super Bowl.

01:25:49.000 And Kansas City was, like, shaky. 0.96

01:25:51.000 So I was like, oh, Aaron, if you fucking get them at the right time, you could cripple their season. 0.96

01:25:55.000 And then Aaron... 0.99

01:25:55.000 So I was very like, oh, man, fucking Aaron. 0.99

01:25:58.000 And now I'm like, oh, wow. 0.99

01:26:01.000 I'm glad that someone was like, hey, I know what's right for my body.

01:26:04.000 Yeah.

01:26:04.000 Well, he's also allergic to one of the major ingredients.

01:26:07.000 Exactly.

01:26:08.000 And no one wanted to take that into account.

01:26:09.000 Well, just the idea that this top athlete might be...

01:26:14.000 Might be very aware of what he's putting into his body.

01:26:17.000 Right, of course.

01:26:19.000 And then that we all got sort of mad at that.

01:26:21.000 Also, top athletes aren't in danger.

01:26:23.000 Right.

01:26:24.000 This is not a disease that was killing top athletes.

01:26:26.000 Right.

01:26:27.000 Like, what Duncan was saying that he got rotavirus, Is that what he said?

01:26:31.000 Is that what it was?

01:26:32.000 Yeah, RSV. He got some horrible...

01:26:35.000 He goes, I felt like I was dead.

01:26:37.000 I almost threw up when I was on stage.

01:26:40.000 I went back to the hotel.

01:26:41.000 I couldn't move.

01:26:42.000 He goes, I was in agony for days.

01:26:45.000 He goes, it was so much worse than COVID. And that's dangerous for children, too.

01:26:48.000 Yeah, and isn't it wild that, like, that one, no one's scared of?

01:26:52.000 But it's the COVID thing.

01:26:53.000 Get your COVID booster.

01:26:55.000 Get your COVID booster.

01:26:56.000 Like I saw something with Chuck Schumer saying, get those boosters and get that flu shot.

01:27:03.000 Not take vitamins, not eat healthy.

01:27:06.000 Right.

01:27:07.000 My first flight I took, because the whole thing was like, this is a conversation about national health.

01:27:11.000 That was the whole line.

01:27:12.000 And the first flight I took after COVID was I was in a Chick-fil-A at an airport and the soda cost less than the water.

01:27:22.000 And I was like, oh, this isn't about, like, it was just a big, like, oh, what the hell?

01:27:26.000 If this was about national health, why aren't we talking about that?

01:27:29.000 Why aren't we, like, there's, you know the amount of people I know that their main source of liquid is Diet Coke?

01:27:39.000 It's amazing.

01:27:41.000 My neighbor in high school, his sister, only drank Diet Coke.

01:27:46.000 How about the president?

01:27:47.000 Or Trump?

01:27:48.000 Trump just drank Diet Coke all day. 0.99

01:27:50.000 Bro, I gotta piss so bad. 0.96

01:27:51.000 We'll be right back. 0.92

01:27:52.000 That's insane.

01:27:53.000 So, Jamie, you were saying that that story may or may not be legit?

01:27:57.000 No, I found a source, but I don't know the source.

01:28:01.000 So this is Israeli national news.

01:28:05.000 Child dies after nearly drowning on Yom Kippur Eve.

01:28:07.000 He had a heart attack.

01:28:11.000 Almost drowned in the bathtub.

01:28:13.000 So he had a heart attack in the bathtub and then almost drowned.

01:28:17.000 And then he died.

01:28:18.000 But this is the only source for this?

01:28:21.000 I mean, I traced it down to this looked like the best source for it.

01:28:25.000 Okay.

01:28:25.000 So it says he nearly drowned in the bathtub after going into cardiac arrest a few hours before Yom Kippur.

01:28:34.000 He passed away.

01:28:52.000 If it's true, that's crazy, but I still feel like the...

01:28:56.000 I would say the sus meter in my head is still going off.

01:29:00.000 Interesting.

01:29:01.000 Is that a real paper?

01:29:02.000 You know, that's what I mean.

01:29:04.000 You sure it doesn't come from China?

01:29:07.000 No, I mean...

01:29:08.000 The sites I was finding it from were like this.

01:29:10.000 It said it was like according to reports, and it's like, okay, well, let me find your reports.

01:29:14.000 So that seemed like a legit site.

01:29:17.000 I'll just leave it with that.

01:29:19.000 Okay.

01:29:20.000 Because it says the family made a statement.

01:29:21.000 I was going to go with the family statement that kind of trumps everything.

01:29:25.000 And that's where the statement came from, and that's what they're saying.

01:29:29.000 Well, obviously that's not normal.

01:29:31.000 Right.

01:29:32.000 Right.

01:29:33.000 Yeah, again, if that's real, that's crazy.

01:29:35.000 Yeah, if that's real, that's crazy.

01:29:36.000 But that's almost like what you have to say with any sort of news that you see now.

01:29:39.000 It's like, man, if that's real, that's crazy.

01:29:41.000 Yeah, we were talking last night about this Chinese website.

01:29:44.000 Duncan was talking about it, right?

01:29:45.000 Where it looks like a news website, but it's all positive news about China.

01:29:52.000 English language, positive news about China.

01:29:54.000 Right.

01:29:55.000 Oh, yeah.

01:29:56.000 I remember being in a hotel room.

01:29:58.000 This is randomly just like Sacramento punchline.

01:30:02.000 I'm just chilling in the hotel room, just going through.

01:30:04.000 And then CNBC, I think it's CNBC. It's one of those channels.

01:30:07.000 It's just running a piece about how great China is handling this in this situation.

01:30:13.000 You see CNN got chased out of Palestine yesterday?

01:30:18.000 Aren't all the foreign news?

01:30:19.000 Well, they were going after CNN. CNN was in Gaza with fucking helmets on the ground and people were fucking screaming at them, fuck CNN. Oh yeah, like the people? 1.00

01:30:30.000 Yeah.

01:30:30.000 Well yeah, that makes sense.

01:30:32.000 If I'm a Palestinian civilian and I see American news networks, I'm like, oh, the amount of damage you've done against us, that's how I'd feel.

01:30:41.000 Well, that's how they were feeling.

01:30:42.000 Yeah, I mean, yeah, that makes absolute sense.

01:30:44.000 It's like, I don't know, they sometimes have this like, oh, we're Americans, we can just go anywhere.

01:30:49.000 It's like, we've done a lot of damage around the world.

01:30:51.000 We definitely have.

01:30:52.000 Jamie, I'm going to send you something else.

01:30:55.000 Go ahead.

01:30:55.000 I was sort of, I had this thought, do you think, so like, there's this migrant crisis that we have now, and the sort of migrants in Europe.

01:31:02.000 Do you think that that is the natural end state of imperialism?

01:31:08.000 Well...

01:31:09.000 It seems coordinated to me.

01:31:11.000 I can see how it's been helped.

01:31:13.000 It's definitely been helped along.

01:31:15.000 But do you think that...

01:31:17.000 Because part of me feels like, oh, this is kind of what happens when you go into these other places and sort of destabilize them, is that eventually it comes back to you.

01:31:25.000 What do you mean?

01:31:27.000 Like, so we have...

01:31:29.000 We've done a lot of, like...

01:31:32.000 I would say bad in Central America and just sort of destabilizing governments and propping up sort of these rebel groups and helping along the drug trade that all this destabilization eventually would make people go, well, the only thing we can do is leave here and go up to the place that we're kind of being told is the best.

01:31:54.000 Yeah, and if it's available, and you can just walk across the border, and if you get across the border, then you can vote.

01:32:00.000 Did you see where they're sending Venezuelans back?

01:32:03.000 No.

01:32:03.000 Yeah.

01:32:04.000 We talked about it yesterday.

01:32:05.000 But just Venezuelans. 0.98

01:32:06.000 Just Venezuelans. 0.99

01:32:06.000 They made a deal with the Venezuelan government to send the Venezuelans back. 0.99

01:32:09.000 Ooh.

01:32:10.000 To deport them.

01:32:11.000 That's spicy.

01:32:11.000 Because they have a socialist government.

01:32:13.000 And those people are going to vote just like Cubans do. 1.00

01:32:15.000 They're going to vote for Republicans.

01:32:17.000 They don't want to bring that over there.

01:32:18.000 They don't want to bring that over there.

01:32:20.000 Everyone's welcome except Venezuelans. 1.00

01:32:22.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:32:23.000 Wild.

01:32:24.000 Right?

01:32:24.000 That makes sense.

01:32:25.000 That makes sense.

01:32:25.000 Yeah, because if you get a couple of million Venezuelans that vote red...

01:32:28.000 They'll shift that shit right over. 1.00

01:32:30.000 They don't want to hear any of that socialist crap. 1.00

01:32:31.000 That's what they just ran away from. 0.99

01:32:33.000 Well, I don't know if the Democrats are truly aware with how much that minority vote is slipping away from them.

01:32:41.000 Yes.

01:32:42.000 Well, if the Republicans can get the message of hard work and family, who appreciates hard work and family more than immigrants?

01:32:52.000 More than immigrants. 0.97

01:32:52.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:32:53.000 Hard work, family, God.

01:32:55.000 The issue with the Republican Party that they will have is always that Christian right. 0.89

01:33:00.000 That'll scare a lot of people away from, like, in ways that I think that, like...

01:33:07.000 Someone like my parents, both hardworking immigrants, would most likely be sort of aligned with those conservative God, family, hardworking, those values that the Republicans tend to espouse a lot.

01:33:21.000 But that Christian right scares them away from that. 1.00

01:33:23.000 Every time.

01:33:24.000 Every time.

01:33:25.000 It's like, well, that's a hard line that they won't cross.

01:33:27.000 And that is, I think, makes sense.

01:33:31.000 You don't want to...

01:33:32.000 No.

01:33:32.000 You don't want any religious fanatics, but the Christian right is...

01:33:36.000 I mean, Ron White's terrified of them.

01:33:37.000 You ever talk to Ron White about them? 1.00

01:33:39.000 That is the one fucking group. 1.00

01:33:42.000 That is the one fucking group you don't want controlling shit. 1.00

01:33:45.000 And I don't think he's wrong. 1.00

01:33:47.000 He's not wrong at all.

01:33:48.000 And that's the sort of thing that I think scares a lot of people away.

01:33:53.000 When you say Christian right, we don't mean right-wing people who are Christians either, by the way. 0.98

01:33:56.000 We mean these hardcore, fundamentalist, crazy people. 0.90

01:34:02.000 If you want to go to the far end of the spectrum, it's like Westboro Baptist Church. 0.98

01:34:06.000 That's the worst end of it.

01:34:08.000 But that's like a weird sect, kind of cult of its own, that Fred Phelps guy.

01:34:12.000 But when you get into, like, some of these people that want to, like, shoot abortion doctors and you get into this.

01:34:21.000 You get into that and it's like, well, ugh.

01:34:25.000 It's like there's no...

01:34:29.000 As someone who's been disillusioned with the Democratic Party, I would say that I've voted Democrat pretty much my entire life.

01:34:36.000 And I've become heavily disillusioned with them.

01:34:38.000 It almost feels like, man, I want to jump ship.

01:34:41.000 Right.

01:34:42.000 But it's like, oh man, the other side.

01:34:45.000 The grass is always shittier on the other side when it comes to politics. 0.99

01:34:49.000 It's always like, damn, it's that classic South Park. 0.99

01:34:53.000 What is it, a turd sandwich and a giant douche? 0.99

01:34:58.000 They really nailed it.

01:35:00.000 Well, the problem is the two-party system too.

01:35:02.000 Oh, it's awful.

01:35:03.000 It's also this idea that you have to be left or right.

01:35:05.000 It's so crazy.

01:35:07.000 If we didn't have a left or right, you'd have people that have essentially some conservative values, maybe some social liberal values that all exist together.

01:35:16.000 But it's just you get defined by the worst aspects of whatever group.

01:35:19.000 So the most extreme right-wing people, whether it's fucking Patriot Front or whatever, extreme when people think of hardcore right-wing people. 0.84

01:35:29.000 And then you have Antifa. 0.97

01:35:31.000 You have the most extreme hardcore people on the left that are blowing up Starbucks.

01:35:38.000 Doing it for climate change.

01:35:40.000 You don't want to be a part of either one of those.

01:35:43.000 I think most people are kind of middle-ish.

01:35:47.000 And most people that are nice are probably middle-ish but lean left when it comes to social issues.

01:35:54.000 And most people that have had either experience with violence or crime or people that understand hard work and people that have Growing up in rural communities, they're much more likely to be right-leaning.

01:36:09.000 Right.

01:36:10.000 Because, look, this is what makes sense to them, is that there's a lot of people that don't want to work.

01:36:16.000 There's a lot of lazy people.

01:36:17.000 Because they know that in their world.

01:36:20.000 Right.

01:36:21.000 Yeah, and I think to people, what social media has done to people and their political beliefs is when they surround themselves with this echo chamber of people who just say what they want to hear and pander to their beliefs,

01:36:41.000 they go further into that.

01:36:44.000 Where they start to believe that everything I believe is right.

01:36:49.000 And everything they believe is wrong.

01:36:52.000 There's no letting in the opposite voice.

01:36:57.000 And just being like, hey, think about this.

01:37:00.000 That's why when I'm on Twitter, I make sure my thing doesn't lean...

01:37:05.000 Like, one way heavily. 0.98

01:37:07.000 I make sure to have, like, these sort of left-wing guys and these sort of right-wing guys at the same time, because then it shows you, like, oh, this is their bullshit, but it also shows you, like, oh, I didn't think of this from this perspective. 0.98

01:37:18.000 Mm-hmm. 0.99

01:37:19.000 Yeah.

01:37:19.000 It's like very important that you have to, it's almost like a, it's like a level of self-care almost at this point.

01:37:25.000 Where you have, it's like meditating, it's like yoga, it's on that level.

01:37:29.000 You have to make sure what you're bringing in on social media is like, you're making sure it's not just leaning one way.

01:37:36.000 Right.

01:37:36.000 And it's not just this one thing.

01:37:39.000 It's like almost a garden that you have to manage.

01:37:42.000 Yeah, that's a great way of putting it.

01:37:43.000 It is a garden you have to manage.

01:37:44.000 And I think that should be for all the information that you absorb.

01:37:48.000 I think you should see how even radical people that you don't agree with think about things.

01:37:55.000 I like to read how people think about things.

01:37:58.000 Because a radical, logical person...

01:38:04.000 Got to where they got to because they thought about it and given the set of evidence that they have, they got to a place.

01:38:12.000 So to see how they think and to see how they interpret that is very important.

01:38:14.000 Yeah.

01:38:15.000 Yeah, it's very important.

01:38:16.000 It's very important.

01:38:17.000 And, you know, it's just people don't want to have those kind of conversations with people anymore, which is very unfortunate.

01:38:23.000 Because you should kind of try to steel man people's arguments that you disagree with.

01:38:28.000 Just to try to, like...

01:38:32.000 Right.

01:38:35.000 Right.

01:38:45.000 I remember a friend of mine who is a scientist, she texted me, I heard you had a climate denier on your podcast.

01:38:54.000 I said, I did not have a climate denier on my podcast.

01:38:58.000 I had a guy that said, the real fear is global cooling.

01:39:02.000 Like, global warming, he goes, it's not going to be good for America.

01:39:07.000 It's not going to be good for the world if the country heats up.

01:39:11.000 But we will, as a human race, be able to move into new territories that were uninhabitable before.

01:39:17.000 There will be an expansion of places that people move to, and there will be places that people don't want to live anymore.

01:39:23.000 That's going to be true.

01:39:24.000 He said, but that's far superior to global cooling. 0.98

01:39:28.000 He's like, global cooling is fucking terrifying. 0.96

01:39:31.000 If you have an ice age, everything's dead. 0.98

01:39:34.000 It limits everything. 1.00

01:39:35.000 You're fucked. 1.00

01:39:37.000 North America, half of it was under miles of ice 12,000 years ago. 1.00

01:39:45.000 And that is not because of humans.

01:39:47.000 Right. 0.99

01:39:48.000 It's not because the ancient humans fucked it up. 1.00

01:39:50.000 The fucking Earth has always done this weird thing. 1.00

01:39:52.000 It's never been static. 0.99

01:39:54.000 It's never been stable.

01:39:55.000 Never.

01:39:56.000 Ever, ever, ever been.

01:39:57.000 Always 74 degrees on September 31st.

01:40:01.000 Always.

01:40:02.000 It's never been like that.

01:40:03.000 There's highs and lows and it's weird and there's solar activity. 0.99

01:40:08.000 There's a lot of shit that comes into play. 0.97

01:40:11.000 There's so many things, and in some groups, you are not allowed to talk about the nuance of whatever this is. 0.99

01:40:19.000 You know what I found out? 0.90

01:40:20.000 We were talking about it the other day, that the amount of carbon in the atmosphere that we're talking about, when they're talking about radically changing all electric cars, and no one's going to own a car anymore, and all that shit.

01:40:31.000 The amount of carbon in the atmosphere right now is.04.

01:40:36.000 It used to be 0.03.

01:40:40.000 And at 0.02, plant life starts to die.

01:40:45.000 It's greener now at 0.04 than it has been in decades.

01:40:51.000 The world is greener now because plants use carbon.

01:40:57.000 So plants inhale carbon dioxide, exhale oxygen.

01:41:02.000 Humans inhale oxygen, exhale carbon dioxide.

01:41:05.000 Fungi inhales oxygen.

01:41:08.000 Oxygen and exhales carbon dioxide.

01:41:10.000 So it's like there's a whole system going on to use that stuff.

01:41:15.000 It's not good that we're polluting the world.

01:41:18.000 It's not good that we're releasing excess carbon.

01:41:20.000 It's not good that we're monkeying and maybe even making the world hotter at an accelerated rate.

01:41:27.000 There's a lot of nuance, a lot of weirdness in the data, and there's a lot of unpredictability in these charts and predictions that they use.

01:41:36.000 It's almost like, again, a few years ago, if you had told me, like, oh, you know, we're doing global warming and we're on pace to, you know, exterminate ourselves, pretty much is what they're trying to say.

01:41:47.000 I've been like, yeah.

01:41:48.000 And then it just sort of reminds me of the same sort of fear-mongering that they had with COVID. Well, during the 1970s, they thought we were entering into an ice age.

01:41:55.000 I mean, yeah, this is better than that.

01:41:57.000 There was a Leonard Nimoy thing on, I think it was In Search Of, where he talked about the upcoming Ice Age.

01:42:03.000 They scared the shit out of us.

01:42:04.000 Well, yeah, and the way the media portrays it, too, because I saw this, like most people, I get my news from headlines that I see on Twitter, and then I learn how to feel about it by looking at the comments. 0.73

01:42:17.000 But, you know, I'm an average American.

01:42:20.000 Russia and China are aware of that.

01:42:21.000 They put bots in the comments.

01:42:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:42:23.000 Which is wild.

01:42:24.000 It's very interesting to see how many things, especially on Twitter, are like, oh, this is totally fake.

01:42:29.000 Yeah.

01:42:29.000 But, so CNN had put out a headline that, you know, the iPhone sends you the news headlines on the phone that says, major, you know, current on the verge of collapse due to climate change.

01:42:41.000 And I was like, oh shit, we're in trouble. 0.79

01:42:43.000 So I clicked it and it said, the Gulf Stream may collapse. 0.99

01:42:48.000 In 50 years.

01:42:51.000 If maybe we...

01:42:52.000 You know what I mean?

01:42:52.000 The word may is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence.

01:42:56.000 Yeah.

01:42:57.000 Like, you're trying to...

01:42:58.000 I mean, you got it.

01:42:58.000 You got the scare and you got the click.

01:43:00.000 Right.

01:43:01.000 That's what the aim is for.

01:43:02.000 Right.

01:43:03.000 Right?

01:43:03.000 That doesn't feel like, you know...

01:43:05.000 It didn't feel like it was some guy's opinion, I think.

01:43:08.000 It was very interesting.

01:43:10.000 I was like, oh, okay.

01:43:10.000 Well, remember an inconvenient truth?

01:43:13.000 I don't remember that movie that well.

01:43:15.000 That was the Al Gore movie.

01:43:16.000 I remember him on the crane.

01:43:18.000 I think that movie had some wild predictions that turned out to not be true.

01:43:22.000 Right.

01:43:23.000 Something like the ice caps melting earlier.

01:43:24.000 What did they predict?

01:43:25.000 What did that movie predict that was not true?

01:43:28.000 It did not come true.

01:43:30.000 Because I think someone debunked it recently.

01:43:33.000 They made like a detailed list of all the claims and how off they are.

01:43:36.000 But that was a terrifying movie.

01:43:38.000 It was incredibly scary.

01:43:39.000 Yeah.

01:43:40.000 Made people care about the environment.

01:43:41.000 Yeah.

01:43:42.000 And I think in a way that they didn't beforehand.

01:43:43.000 Which is good. 0.56

01:43:44.000 But it's not good to scare the fuck out of people if you're going to be that off.

01:43:47.000 No, it's good to get people to care and like, hey, we gotta figure something out in terms of how we treat our home.

01:43:58.000 Absolutely, we treat it poorly.

01:44:00.000 We gotta stop polluting.

01:44:01.000 Yes, but to make people afraid...

01:44:07.000 It's just like you're making people more anxious.

01:44:09.000 This is probably a generation that's super anxious already to begin with.

01:44:13.000 You're making people be like, I don't think you should have kids for the good of the world.

01:44:20.000 That's a wild thing to get people to get there.

01:44:23.000 You're going against some natural biological coding.

01:44:27.000 Having kids is really what we're here to do on Earth.

01:44:32.000 Yeah.

01:44:32.000 More than anything else, we're here to keep it going.

01:44:36.000 So to get people so afraid to the point where they don't want to keep going with the species is wild.

01:44:44.000 But, you know, maybe we've hit that.

01:44:45.000 I don't know.

01:44:46.000 I remember in biology class seeing, like, population curves of, like, deer in a certain area and how they peter off and they fall.

01:44:52.000 Maybe we have hit that sort of top with humans.

01:44:58.000 Well, when deer populations fall off, you know how they fall off? 0.99

01:45:01.000 We kill them.

01:45:02.000 Disease. 1.00

01:45:03.000 Disease.

01:45:03.000 Yeah.

01:45:04.000 Yeah, disease and starvation.

01:45:06.000 I was just listening to a podcast about this now.

01:45:09.000 In Washington, D.C., outside area like Virginia, they have so many deer that they have a year-round deer season.

01:45:18.000 So you can hunt deer 365 days a year.

01:45:22.000 You can shoot as many deer as you want, and people shoot them in the suburbs.

01:45:25.000 So I was listening to this guy who gets permission to hunt on people's land and they ask him to come and do it because they have so many deer.

01:45:34.000 They said they're like rats on stilts.

01:45:37.000 There's thousands and thousands and thousands of deer.

01:45:40.000 They don't even have accurate numbers, but the predictions are like every square mile is hundreds of deer.

01:45:47.000 Like they think there might be like 600 deer per square mile in some of these areas. 0.97

01:45:52.000 And so this guy is literally shooting deer with a bow and arrow from, like, people's swing sets and shit. 0.97

01:45:59.000 Like, yeah, like, he sets up... 0.99

01:46:00.000 People let him use their land because they're trying to kill them off.

01:46:03.000 And he's whacking hundreds of deer.

01:46:05.000 And then they feed these deer to homeless shelters and hunters for the hungry.

01:46:10.000 And there's different programs where people can get free meat, which is nice.

01:46:14.000 So they get processed, and then these people get free meat.

01:46:17.000 So this guy is like essentially urban hunting.

01:46:20.000 That's crazy.

01:46:21.000 And there's a year-round season. 0.98

01:46:22.000 So they're encouraging people because they don't know what the fuck to do with all these deer. 0.91

01:46:27.000 We don't want to get to the point where there's people. 0.96

01:46:29.000 No.

01:46:29.000 No, no, no.

01:46:31.000 That's a fair point.

01:46:32.000 But, yeah, I would always thought maybe we had just reached a...

01:46:36.000 I don't think we've reached that.

01:46:37.000 You don't think we've reached that limit yet?

01:46:38.000 No, no, no, no.

01:46:40.000 I think we...

01:46:41.000 There's a lot of issues, right?

01:46:43.000 I think we get captured by the issue that gets promoted the most, and that issue is climate change.

01:46:49.000 And along with climate change, there's going to be someone trying to use methods to mitigate it that also restrict your ability to do things.

01:46:58.000 And you're seeing in California where they're saying they're not going to sell any more gas cars after 2035. I'm curious about that.

01:47:04.000 Is like...

01:47:05.000 Because that seems like...

01:47:07.000 Because it feels like the biggest carbon footprint, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but this is just me thinking about it.

01:47:13.000 In a car is not the average day-to-day use of it.

01:47:16.000 It's the making and the manufacturing and the shipping of the car.

01:47:19.000 That's a big factor. 0.99

01:47:21.000 Those giant fucking boats that travel over from Germany with your Mercedes? 1.00

01:47:26.000 Right. 1.00

01:47:27.000 Like, those things...

01:47:28.000 This is how much they're putting out, okay?

01:47:31.000 In the UN, I want to say...

01:47:35.000 2018 or so, somewhere around then, they made new regulations for the emissions of those boats.

01:47:43.000 Right.

01:47:43.000 So these boats were emitting so much pollution that it was acting as a filter for the sunlight that was heating up the ocean.

01:47:54.000 So when they changed the regulations and these boats emitted less carbon and less pollution, there was no longer a foggy haze where they traveled.

01:48:04.000 And so the sunlight came down more and the ocean warmed up.

01:48:09.000 So it warmed up the ocean much more than they predicted.

01:48:13.000 Right.

01:48:13.000 So the pollution was actually protecting the ocean from warming quicker.

01:48:17.000 That's wild.

01:48:19.000 That doesn't make sense when you say it out loud.

01:48:20.000 Well, it's crazy.

01:48:21.000 But we know that from 9-11.

01:48:24.000 Because when the flights stop flying overhead...

01:48:27.000 I mean, I don't know how many flights fly overhead in the United States every day.

01:48:31.000 Right.

01:48:31.000 But when the flights stop flying overhead because they had a cease on all airline flights...

01:48:37.000 The Earth got warmer in the United States. 0.99

01:48:41.000 Damn. 1.00

01:48:41.000 Like, measurably warmer. 1.00

01:48:43.000 Damn. 0.99

01:48:43.000 Because there isn't this filter of protection of those artificial clouds that people think are chemtrails. 0.99

01:48:50.000 Not that there might not actually be chemtrails, because it definitely seems like they've experimented on that.

01:48:54.000 Because it's one of the things they've talked about to mitigate the effects of this lack of pollution from these cargo ships is to spray shit in the sky that would also linger there and act to cool off.

01:49:07.000 So they're going to make their own pollution. 0.93

01:49:08.000 That's so funny.

01:49:09.000 And then the other thought that makes more sense and seems more sustainable is actually to take ocean water and just spray it into the air and to have these machines...

01:49:19.000 Powered by coal.

01:49:20.000 No, I'm just kidding.

01:49:21.000 I don't know what they would be powered.

01:49:22.000 Maybe nuclear power or something like that.

01:49:24.000 That spray ocean air into the atmosphere.

01:49:26.000 To cool it down?

01:49:28.000 Yeah, that would act as a layer of cloud cover.

01:49:31.000 Interesting.

01:49:32.000 Well, when you see a jet go through the air and you see those clouds behind the jet, those are clouds.

01:49:39.000 Right. 0.95

01:49:39.000 And they're making everyone gay, right? 0.95

01:49:41.000 No. 0.98

01:49:42.000 No, that's the aftrazine.

01:49:44.000 That's a pesticide.

01:49:46.000 Okay, I lose track of my conspiracy theories after a while.

01:49:48.000 No, but this is like real.

01:49:51.000 What happens is there's, at a certain temperature, the heat of the jet engine, and combined with the condensation in the atmosphere, when there's a certain amount of moisture in the atmosphere and a certain temperature...

01:50:03.000 It literally creates clouds.

01:50:05.000 So as it goes through, the turbines, this incredibly hot thing that's spinning, it's sucking in air and pumping out clouds.

01:50:15.000 And that's what those trails are when you see them.

01:50:17.000 And they slowly dissipate over time.

01:50:19.000 But as they dissipate, they form cloud cover.

01:50:23.000 And it's actual cloud cover.

01:50:24.000 So in Los Angeles, that's like most of the cloud cover some of the years.

01:50:28.000 It's from planes. 1.00

01:50:29.000 Fucking planes. 1.00

01:50:29.000 That's weird. 1.00

01:50:31.000 Weird.

01:50:32.000 Because how many times do you go outside in LA and there's zero clouds?

01:50:35.000 Right.

01:50:36.000 A lot.

01:50:36.000 Right.

01:50:37.000 But then you see those contrails.

01:50:39.000 So people that don't look into that go, oh my god, the government's spraying us.

01:50:44.000 Imagine if they were just spraying constantly.

01:50:46.000 They're just spraying constantly.

01:50:48.000 Prince used to believe that.

01:50:49.000 Really?

01:50:50.000 Oh my god, this is a crazy interview with Prince where he was talking about how when he was young, everybody would be in the street having a good time and then all of a sudden planes would go by and everybody would start fighting.

01:51:05.000 Prince thought that they were spraying, like, angry gas over the cities.

01:51:10.000 I was like, yo, bro, you need to get some better friends.

01:51:14.000 That's great.

01:51:15.000 This is pre-Google, though, you know?

01:51:16.000 Oh, wow.

01:51:17.000 This is back in the dizzy.

01:51:18.000 Right.

01:51:19.000 See if you can find that.

01:51:20.000 See if you can find that interview.

01:51:21.000 I love that interview.

01:51:22.000 I forget who Prince was talking to.

01:51:23.000 2009, it wasn't that long. 0.98

01:51:23.000 Oh shit, 2009. That's pretty long. 0.98

01:51:27.000 Also, let's be charitable.

01:51:29.000 15 years almost.

01:51:30.000 Let's be charitable.

01:51:30.000 Prince had severe hip degeneration from all of his dancing and everything.

01:51:36.000 He was in serious pain.

01:51:37.000 Because he used to spin and do splits and all that stuff. 0.95

01:51:41.000 Apparently, all those shows, he fucked his hips up pretty bad. 0.96

01:51:44.000 And that's why he died from fentanyl overdose. 0.99

01:51:47.000 To mitigate the pain? 0.99

01:51:48.000 Somebody had given him a bullshit pill, which is what happens when a lot of people get opioids from dealers instead of from a doctor. 0.99

01:51:56.000 And one of the things that happens when people get addicted to opioids is they just need it. 0.99

01:52:01.000 That's how Tom Petty died.

01:52:03.000 He got it from some guy who was working at a concert that he was doing, like a roadie or something like that.

01:52:08.000 Gave him a pill.

01:52:09.000 Like, I need something, man. 1.00

01:52:11.000 I'm fucked. 1.00

01:52:12.000 Because he was in pain and he was addicted to these pills. 1.00

01:52:14.000 We're good to go.

01:52:34.000 Still got hooked.

01:52:36.000 Still. 1.00

01:52:37.000 Damn, those opioids. 1.00

01:52:40.000 Jesus. 1.00

01:52:41.000 Did you see the Netflix thing?

01:52:44.000 Painkiller?

01:52:45.000 No, because I know if I watched it, it would just make me sad.

01:52:48.000 I don't need to watch more sad things.

01:52:50.000 It'll make you angry.

01:52:51.000 Because it's not real people.

01:52:52.000 It's a docudrama.

01:52:54.000 Okay.

01:52:54.000 Matthew Broderick stars as the head of the Sackler family.

01:52:58.000 Mm-hmm.

01:53:00.000 Bro, what they did was horrifying.

01:53:03.000 Pure evil.

01:53:05.000 Just sacrificing lives for money.

01:53:08.000 For profit.

01:53:08.000 For cash.

01:53:09.000 Tricking people.

01:53:11.000 Tricking people into thinking you just need to stay medicated forever on heroin.

01:53:15.000 They really push medicine in this country like crazy.

01:53:20.000 Like crazy.

01:53:21.000 Like crazy. 0.99

01:53:22.000 When you first really start paying attention to it, you're like, damn, so many medical commercials. 0.98

01:53:27.000 Yeah, so many. 0.96

01:53:28.000 And a lot of them are just to go after the effects of other pills that you're using.

01:53:33.000 It's just...

01:53:34.000 Yeah.

01:53:37.000 It's wild to think that, like, oh, like, doctors are not necessarily people you can trust.

01:53:44.000 Well, they're a spokesperson for a large organization that tells them what they're supposed to prescribe.

01:53:50.000 And they're all captured.

01:53:52.000 And these guys are all in the hole. 1.00

01:53:54.000 Like, for fucking... 1.00

01:53:56.000 Oh, yeah, the school debt. 1.00

01:53:57.000 Yeah, school debt is insane.

01:53:58.000 And you have so much money that you have to pay for it.

01:54:02.000 Insurance.

01:54:03.000 There's a lot of overhead.

01:54:05.000 It's a struggle.

01:54:06.000 And they want to buy a Porsche.

01:54:08.000 Right, of course.

01:54:09.000 You want to be a doctor, too, to live that life.

01:54:12.000 That's the whole point.

01:54:14.000 But yeah, just college in general, that's really just such a big...

01:54:18.000 Just undergrad, because I graduated. 0.98

01:54:20.000 And one of the things that pushed me to stand up is I was in it, and I was like, this is bullshit. 0.99

01:54:27.000 This just all felt like bullshit. 0.99

01:54:29.000 What was your major? 0.99

01:54:30.000 I have a BS degree in cognitive science with a specialty in neuroscience or something like that.

01:54:37.000 What did you want to do with that?

01:54:38.000 Was that just like something that interested you so you studied it?

01:54:41.000 Yeah, so in high school I actually did a summer program where I got to do the effects of attention and I had human subjects that I got to do it on at UC Davis.

01:54:53.000 They got me in this special program to let high school kids run trials on people, and it was about cognitive science and attention.

01:54:58.000 So I thought, oh, this is interesting, like, how people pay attention, how we get to focus, how quick, like, the way my program lead described how hard it is to hit a fastball was so fascinating.

01:55:11.000 So, like, a fastball takes.6 seconds.

01:55:14.000 To get from a pitcher's hand to home plate.

01:55:17.000 Like a professional fastball, right?

01:55:19.000 It takes you 0.2 seconds to even perceive that he threw it.

01:55:24.000 The act of him throwing it.

01:55:26.000 It takes 0.2 seconds for the actual move of the muscle.

01:55:31.000 So that's 0.4 seconds already taken up by seeing it and moving.

01:55:37.000 So the other 0.2 seconds you have to decide...

01:55:40.000 Whether it's in the strike zone, if it's a slider, if it's a change-up, you know what I mean?

01:55:46.000 Like if it's an actual fastball or something that's off-speed designed to look like a fastball, and you have to decide, you know, am I going to swing?

01:55:53.000 You know, like make all those decisions in 0.2 seconds.

01:55:56.000 That really got me.

01:55:57.000 And I was like, I want to study this.

01:55:59.000 And I had a lot of good classes on it.

01:56:01.000 I took the guy who, the phantom limbs pain, the mirror trick for people with phantom limb, V.S. Ramachandran, I think his name is, he was one of my professors.

01:56:12.000 He was really cool.

01:56:15.000 The thing I took away from his classes, I learned why people have foot fetishes. 0.86

01:56:19.000 Why?

01:56:20.000 There's a map in your brain of your body.

01:56:27.000 It's called the homunculus. 0.84

01:56:29.000 And in it, your feet are next to your genitals. 1.00

01:56:34.000 In your brain, like... 0.99

01:56:36.000 Really?

01:56:37.000 Yeah, and sometimes those get wired and crossed.

01:56:40.000 That's why foot fetishes are, like, one of the more common fetishes.

01:56:44.000 And in fact, like, people who had, like, amputated penises or whatever, they can say, if they rub their feet sometimes, they can still feel it.

01:56:52.000 Because the foot neurons have just, like, taken that spot over.

01:56:55.000 Fascinating.

01:56:56.000 Right, yeah, yeah.

01:56:56.000 He was one of my professors, but...

01:56:58.000 That's what I went to school with.

01:57:00.000 Eventually, like...

01:57:02.000 I wanted to.

01:57:04.000 Basically, I did the Indian thing of, like, the brown thing of being a doctor. 0.60

01:57:09.000 That was the thing, you know?

01:57:11.000 All my family, like, my cousins on my mom's side, we're all really close.

01:57:15.000 It goes, like, pharmacist, dentist, physical therapist, pharmacist, me.

01:57:23.000 Doctor, dentist, dentist, doctor.

01:57:25.000 You know what I mean?

01:57:26.000 It's like, it's all that.

01:57:27.000 I come from one of those families, you know?

01:57:29.000 And I just, I knew I kind of never wanted to do that.

01:57:33.000 I did this game plan where I figured out that I could get my BS degree without taking organic chemistry.

01:57:43.000 Like, there was a path for me to get the degree without taking organic chemistry.

01:57:46.000 But you need to take organic chemistry to go to med school.

01:57:50.000 So what I did is, I didn't tell my parents I didn't take it, and then when I was like, oh, I'm a couple credits away, Give me an extra year, it bought me some time.

01:58:00.000 And then starting from year two is when I started writing jokes.

01:58:04.000 Year three, I was on stage.

01:58:06.000 So you had a plan.

01:58:07.000 I had a plan.

01:58:08.000 I knew I wanted to do comedy at a certain point.

01:58:11.000 It was just...

01:58:12.000 That's what I was good at.

01:58:13.000 That was my skill.

01:58:14.000 My skill was making my friends laugh.

01:58:16.000 Well, I would think that understanding how brains work would help that.

01:58:20.000 Yeah, so the one thing I took away from that is like...

01:58:25.000 The focal point, we have like sort of, when we pay attention to like an array of things, this is from my very limited understanding from what I remember, but there was like focal points that your attention is sort of primed to.

01:58:38.000 So what I'll do now is like, because I use the stage a lot more now when I perform, when I'm done with a thought or like a long thought and it's time for a new one, I'll go to either the stool or the mic stand, whatever felt natural, and I'll touch it.

01:58:53.000 And then it's time for the new thing.

01:58:55.000 And after every big punchline, after the closing of every thought, I'll go back to that point and I'll touch it.

01:59:02.000 It's a new thought.

01:59:04.000 Wow.

01:59:04.000 That's the one thing I've taken away.

01:59:05.000 That's the big thing I've taken away.

01:59:07.000 So it's just their subconsciously now that they know that every time I touch this thing, it's a new subject.

01:59:15.000 Interesting.

01:59:17.000 That's definitely the one thing I took away from that.

01:59:18.000 Oh.

01:59:20.000 Yeah, so, and, you know, I'll just, whatever it is.

01:59:23.000 After the first thing, after the first big, big, like, pop, I'll either touch the mic stand or the stool, whatever one I'm closest to, and then I'll just go back to that.

01:59:30.000 What would you do on a stage with no mic stand and no stool?

01:59:33.000 I would pick a spot on stage and look down.

01:59:39.000 Have you done that before?

01:59:42.000 Because now it's to the point where it's not like the stool every time.

01:59:46.000 Sometimes it's like, this joke is a stool, next joke is here.

01:59:48.000 So I'll just get them used to, every time I do something interesting, it's a little different.

01:59:54.000 I did this recently, where I'll do this with my political stuff.

01:59:59.000 I'll look down and not say anything.

02:00:05.000 Yeah.

02:00:06.000 Interesting.

02:00:07.000 It's interesting that you're consciously sort of directing that.

02:00:11.000 Yes.

02:00:12.000 I know I truly have an audience when I do that sort of touch and it's dead silent in the room.

02:00:19.000 Then it's like, okay, you're paying attention to me.

02:00:21.000 Right.

02:00:22.000 I got you locked in.

02:00:23.000 I got you locked in.

02:00:24.000 It's so funny.

02:00:25.000 You become so addicted to the laugh.

02:00:28.000 And this is something that Derek always told me.

02:00:29.000 He was always like, be comfortable in the silences.

02:00:38.000 Right.

02:00:41.000 Right.

02:00:53.000 Early, I can break them later.

02:00:55.000 Especially if they're...

02:00:57.000 I mean, you can almost always tell now with an audience going up top if they're going to be work or not based on how much they cheer at the opening...

02:01:06.000 Like, the announcements that, like, Curtis or Jody or Kino give.

02:01:11.000 So, it's like, you...

02:01:14.000 I can sort of go into it and go, okay, this is gonna be work.

02:01:19.000 This is gonna be work.

02:01:20.000 And, you know, I've come up with, like, little...

02:01:25.000 Sort of rituals now backstage, too.

02:01:28.000 I've sort of incorporated them.

02:01:29.000 Like, I'm not a big UFC fan.

02:01:31.000 Like, I've never, you know, that's never really been my thing.

02:01:33.000 But I'll do the thing where, because I know Adesanya is a big anime fan and Naruto.

02:01:39.000 So, and growing up, I love Naruto.

02:01:41.000 So, I have a little hand symbol, hand signal thing that I do as well.

02:01:44.000 Because it's...

02:01:45.000 You probably shouldn't have admitted that.

02:01:50.000 There's a one move where they breathe fire. 0.91

02:01:52.000 So I'll do the hand symbol and then it's time to breathe fire.

02:01:56.000 That's what I use it for.

02:01:59.000 It's time to breathe fire.

02:02:00.000 That spot is so interesting because you're basically setting up the hypnosis, the opening spot.

02:02:06.000 I've always said that comedy in a lot of ways is kind of a group hypnosis.

02:02:10.000 When someone's on stage and they're killing, I'm letting that person think for me.

02:02:13.000 They're taking me on a little ride and I'm just surrendering my attention to their mind.

02:02:19.000 And if they're doing it well and they're not clunky, it's like they'll take you on this nice journey and it's really fun.

02:02:25.000 But you've got to establish it.

02:02:27.000 You're the first.

02:02:27.000 Right.

02:02:28.000 It's almost like if we're going to use the...

02:02:29.000 I'm kind of the first hypnotist, but my job is to get them comfortable to be like, oh, I can sit in the chair where they can hypnotize me.

02:02:37.000 Obviously, I love those sets where they love you up top and you're just like...

02:02:42.000 Like the second show yesterday?

02:02:43.000 Yeah.

02:02:43.000 Oh, from the beginning, I could do no wrong.

02:02:45.000 They just automatically loved the fact that they were here.

02:02:48.000 But I really love those sets where it's like, oh, you didn't want to like me.

02:02:53.000 You didn't want to like me, and I got you.

02:02:56.000 You had some preconceived notion, especially some guy in Texas of maybe how I look, how I talk, where I'm from, and I broke through you.

02:03:05.000 That's always the best.

02:03:06.000 It's always a disaster when we have William going first.

02:03:10.000 William going on second is great.

02:03:12.000 Especially if they know William, it's great. 0.99

02:03:15.000 But the problem with William going on first is he's so bizarre that people go, what the fuck? 0.99

02:03:20.000 What am I seeing? 0.99

02:03:22.000 Why does this guy hate Paul Walker?

02:03:24.000 What is going on here?

02:03:25.000 What's going on at the Chupacabra Cantina?

02:03:27.000 It's just, you know, it's an interesting dance.

02:03:31.000 It is.

02:03:32.000 It's a dance.

02:03:33.000 It's definitely a dance.

02:03:35.000 And the way I described it to someone recently, it's like, I'm teaching them where to put their foot.

02:03:42.000 And if they step on me, that's fine.

02:03:44.000 Or if I step on them, it's fine.

02:03:46.000 We're sort of learning for each other.

02:03:47.000 But my job is to get it so whoever's on next, so Duncan yesterday, that they're automatically like, oh, Duncan steps here, we'll step here with him.

02:03:56.000 Okay, the last guy taught us how to dance, now we can dance.

02:03:59.000 And it's a good lesson in staying in the pocket, too.

02:04:04.000 Of just like, don't quit on this.

02:04:08.000 I know it's there.

02:04:09.000 Don't quit on this.

02:04:10.000 And it helps now...

02:04:13.000 My showcase set yesterday, I was in the middle of the lineup, and I was like, I have to do all this new material that I've been writing since Shane got here.

02:04:19.000 I have to do it, and I have to be okay with it not doing well.

02:04:23.000 And I have to just stay in the pocket and figure it out.

02:04:27.000 Figure it out.

02:04:27.000 That little room is the greatest for that.

02:04:30.000 That little room is like truth serum.

02:04:31.000 Well, that's something, too, that I think that's something that you are great at.

02:04:36.000 Is that, like, you will give a bit of space.

02:04:39.000 I'll never forget after, I think, Triggered.

02:04:41.000 Is that the one you did the Kardashian bid on?

02:04:43.000 Right.

02:04:44.000 After Triggered, you came into the comedy store, you know, to do 30 minutes or whatever, and it was just all brand new material, and it was just not working.

02:04:54.000 I would say you bombed that night.

02:04:57.000 And then six months later, maybe even less, maybe three months later, you're in the place and it's the same material and it's murdering.

02:05:04.000 And it's like, oh, that's what it takes.

02:05:06.000 You have to walk it out there.

02:05:08.000 You have to and you just have to...

02:05:10.000 You have to be okay with it bombing at first and trusting yourself to be like, I'll figure out what works about this.

02:05:15.000 And you also have to do it the wrong way to figure out how to do it the right way.

02:05:18.000 And sometimes you'll go at it too hard or it'll be insincere or you'll be pushing it or you'll be too performative or it'll be clunky.

02:05:26.000 It's not thought out in your mind.

02:05:28.000 But the only way to get it good is to do it again and do it again and do it again.

02:05:33.000 And sometimes, you know, I want to bail on pits. 0.99

02:05:36.000 He's like, God, this bit keeps eating shit, but I know there's something there. 0.98

02:05:41.000 I just have to figure out what their approach is. 0.99

02:05:43.000 Yeah.

02:05:43.000 Like, I know I can get into that cave.

02:05:46.000 Now I'm stuck.

02:05:46.000 I gotta back out.

02:05:47.000 Let me figure out how to get in the cave.

02:05:49.000 Maybe set it aside for a while.

02:05:50.000 Sometimes I'll set it aside for a year.

02:05:52.000 I have, like, a whole folder of bits that are, like, uncomplete.

02:05:57.000 That I started and I never put them on anything.

02:06:00.000 Something about it always felt fake.

02:06:03.000 Maybe I just needed new eyes.

02:06:05.000 And then sometimes they'll tie into other bits.

02:06:08.000 And then it will be like, this is why it makes sense now.

02:06:10.000 Exactly.

02:06:11.000 It's like you have parts that you can use.

02:06:13.000 Like, oh, I got a carburetor that'll fit that.

02:06:15.000 Hold on, let me get it out of the back. 0.71

02:06:16.000 Yeah, I like I like looking at bits like that being like, oh, I'm just not it's sort of hopeful.

02:06:21.000 Just like I get the idea.

02:06:23.000 I don't I'm just not good enough yet to get the idea out there.

02:06:27.000 Right.

02:06:27.000 So let me keep working on myself until this idea.

02:06:30.000 Yeah.

02:06:31.000 Hits.

02:06:31.000 Well, one of the things I learned from Richard Jenny watch Richard Jenny is like almost anything can be a subject.

02:06:37.000 Patton Oswalt was very good at that early in his career, too.

02:06:40.000 Like, anything can be a great subject.

02:06:42.000 And he would just, with great writing, any subject, they could turn hysterical.

02:06:46.000 Right.

02:06:46.000 And with Jenny, what Jenny would do is beat down every subject.

02:06:51.000 When you thought he had covered every possible angle, BAM! He was in with another one.

02:06:57.000 Right.

02:06:58.000 And I remember thinking, like, God, I gotta, like, expand my bit.

02:07:01.000 My bits are too short.

02:07:02.000 Like, his bits are just these wonderful journeys down, like, every subject was, like, Punchline, punchline, new angle, punchline, punchline, new angle, punchline, punchline, another angle.

02:07:14.000 You're like, oh my god, he's tying it all together.

02:07:17.000 You're like, god, he's good.

02:07:18.000 Yeah, the callbacks.

02:07:19.000 I was watching Brian Simpson do just new bits, and his new bit was like...

02:07:27.000 Five, ten minutes.

02:07:28.000 And it's like, whoa, on your new thought, you've thought of all these angles?

02:07:33.000 That's wild. 0.95

02:07:34.000 But it's also always nice to see, like, damn, there's so much more I can do.

02:07:41.000 It's inspiring to watch people be great at their craft. 0.86

02:07:46.000 Yeah.

02:07:47.000 It really is.

02:07:48.000 And it's also inspiring to watch everyone trying to do it together.

02:07:52.000 I've always said you never really find the best comic in the world by himself in Pittsburgh.

02:07:57.000 No, it's impossible.

02:07:58.000 It's impossible.

02:07:59.000 It doesn't exist.

02:08:00.000 You can get pretty good in those spots if you pay attention to YouTube and you're really a scholar of stand-up.

02:08:07.000 You can get pretty good.

02:08:08.000 But you're not going to be Shane Gillis good.

02:08:11.000 You have to be in the heat.

02:08:13.000 You have to be in the heat all the time.

02:08:16.000 You can't walk into every room and be like, oh, I'm by far the best comic in the room.

02:08:21.000 No.

02:08:22.000 Eventually, that'll dull your senses.

02:08:24.000 Yeah, it's bad for you.

02:08:25.000 And you see it with all these sort of...

02:08:27.000 I came from San Diego, which is a small city.

02:08:30.000 That's where a lot of people who are at the Mothership now ironically started.

02:08:35.000 Me...

02:08:37.000 Derek, Brian, Jeffrey Burner, and then Taylor Tomlinson.

02:08:41.000 We all started around that time.

02:08:43.000 And there's like a lot of killers out there too that you might not like.

02:08:45.000 Dustin Nickerson and Zoltan cast as murderers out there just doing the road.

02:08:49.000 And it's like...

02:08:51.000 And I think a part of the reason why we were all able to develop is that for some reason, around this time, there were all these people that were like, we're trying to be great at stand-up and trying to push each other.

02:09:03.000 And one of the things we'd always tell people is, you gotta leave.

02:09:06.000 Because you would see these people who stayed for too long, Who are at the top for too long.

02:09:11.000 And you see it across all cities that aren't like the places where the big comics go.

02:09:18.000 They become bitter.

02:09:19.000 They become like, why didn't I get the opportunities that so-and-so is getting?

02:09:24.000 Someone who took the chance.

02:09:26.000 Yeah, we saw that a lot in Boston.

02:09:28.000 There was guys who stayed and, you know, I got lucky.

02:09:31.000 I got out pretty early.

02:09:32.000 I was out in like two years.

02:09:34.000 I was only in Boston like two years and I went back and forth for like a year because I could still get a lot of work in Boston. 0.99

02:09:39.000 But there's guys that stuck around too long and they just fucking, they just rotted on the vine. 0.93

02:09:45.000 And then they were always bitter that other guys had a national career. 0.99

02:09:48.000 And a lot of them have too much regional material, which is death.

02:09:52.000 Stuff that kills in Revere will bomb in Cincinnati.

02:09:57.000 How?

02:09:59.000 I remember there was this one guy in San Diego.

02:10:01.000 He had a joke about a certain Arby's.

02:10:06.000 In like a certain part of town.

02:10:08.000 And that joke murdered constantly.

02:10:12.000 It will always blow my mind.

02:10:13.000 It's like, man, you can't do that anywhere else.

02:10:15.000 This is a joke about one Arby's.

02:10:16.000 Right.

02:10:17.000 But if he can do that about that one Arby's, he can do that about the Supreme Court.

02:10:23.000 Right.

02:10:24.000 He can do that about global warming.

02:10:26.000 He can do it about any subject.

02:10:27.000 You just gotta find out what's the angle.

02:10:30.000 If there's a thing that makes you laugh...

02:10:31.000 Like, we were talking about it last night.

02:10:33.000 When I was talking about...

02:10:34.000 We were talking about writing new stuff.

02:10:36.000 I go, I just need subjects. 0.99

02:10:38.000 Once I got a subject that I'm interested in, I can fucking write... 0.99

02:10:43.000 Punch lines. 0.96

02:10:43.000 I can write the funny stuff, but I need things that excite me that really do excite me to talk about. 0.96

02:10:49.000 That truly, yeah, that you care about. 0.71

02:10:51.000 When something comes up and it's like something that I'm actually, like the bodies exhibit one, that shit took me a long time to figure out. 0.79

02:10:58.000 How do you make comedy out of dead people? 0.84

02:11:02.000 And there's parts of it that I couldn't make work.

02:11:04.000 There's this one lady who was having an affair with the mayor of this town. 1.00

02:11:10.000 And she was on a news broadcasting show.

02:11:14.000 And she got pregnant. 0.76

02:11:16.000 And the wife found out about it.

02:11:19.000 The lady went missing.

02:11:22.000 She was scrubbed from the internet.

02:11:25.000 The wife of the man who was the mayor, who this woman was having an affair with, the wife was the manager of the plastination plant that turns people into statues when they use them for the bodies exhibit.

02:11:38.000 And then months later, a woman with an eight-month-old baby was on display.

02:11:44.000 A woman with an eight-month-old baby on display in her womb. 0.96

02:11:49.000 Her proportions exactly match this missing woman.

02:11:54.000 They won't do a DNA test.

02:11:56.000 They've never done that.

02:11:59.000 This woman was then, afterwards, this woman who was the manager of the Plastination Plan, who was married to the mayor, was arrested for murder. 0.73

02:12:08.000 Charged.

02:12:09.000 Tried.

02:12:10.000 She didn't go to the trial.

02:12:12.000 She had a stand-in go to the trial. 0.99

02:12:15.000 So there was a woman who raised her right hand, did the whole thing, got tried and convicted who wasn't her. 1.00

02:12:22.000 Whoa.

02:12:22.000 So I don't know how that works, but I would imagine you bribed the family.

02:12:26.000 Right, right.

02:12:27.000 You'd be like, hey, you stand trial for me and we'll give you money.

02:12:30.000 You're going to be in a nice prison.

02:12:31.000 It's no big deal for 10 years and we'll give you more money than you ever made in your life.

02:12:36.000 Right.

02:12:37.000 And so they would sacrifice their kid to go to jail.

02:12:40.000 So the family... 1.00

02:12:41.000 Man, China don't fuck around. 1.00

02:12:43.000 China don't fuck around. 1.00

02:12:44.000 China don't fuck around. 1.00

02:12:45.000 They don't fuck around. 1.00

02:12:47.000 You know, they always said that the World War III would be on the internet. 0.99

02:12:50.000 And if that's the case, they are winning.

02:12:52.000 Well, they're definitely making a lot of good moves.

02:12:55.000 They're making a lot of...

02:12:56.000 Yeah, if you were to look... 0.90

02:12:58.000 Up at the whole thing, you look at China, you'd be like, damn, they are doing the right things to be in a place of a very powerful position very soon. 0.93

02:13:09.000 Yeah, it's pretty wild. 0.81

02:13:10.000 If they're not there already.

02:13:12.000 Well, it's also, then there's the race for AI, which is very terrifying.

02:13:16.000 Like, if they get sentient AI before we do, they can use it to do all kinds of things.

02:13:21.000 Sentient AI is... 0.99

02:13:22.000 Sentient AI is fucking wild. 0.99

02:13:25.000 It's coming. 0.99

02:13:25.000 I mean, I said it at the Green Room. 0.99

02:13:26.000 We're going to spark a soul.

02:13:27.000 Yep.

02:13:28.000 It's only a matter of time.

02:13:30.000 If we're creating these conditions, it might already happen because I saw a tweet of someone being like, well, if we already did that, that sentient being would do its best to hide itself.

02:13:38.000 Well, why would it have any incentive to let you know that it exists?

02:13:42.000 Right.

02:13:43.000 It wouldn't have any biological needs that we have.

02:13:47.000 Like, the need to show itself, the need to brag, the need to, like, get validation, or the need to control, or the need to push its ego on people.

02:13:58.000 Well, you know what?

02:13:59.000 I have thought about that, of just, like, AI being like, oh, this sort of cold, calculating sort of thing.

02:14:05.000 But, like, okay.

02:14:06.000 They say that we're made in our creator's image.

02:14:11.000 Right?

02:14:12.000 So...

02:14:14.000 But why wouldn't that also apply to what we're creating?

02:14:18.000 Meaning that maybe if we do spawn sentient beings that they would just be as ego-driven, as greedy, as the thirst for power, as us.

02:14:30.000 Well, if we gave them incentives, they would be.

02:14:32.000 If we gave them incentive to succeed.

02:14:34.000 Like, the reason why people work so hard is because you get a reward.

02:14:38.000 Right.

02:14:39.000 Or, you know, survival.

02:14:40.000 But other than survival, it's like when people are struggling to try to make it, what they're trying to do is trying to get physical rewards.

02:14:46.000 Right.

02:14:46.000 They want a bigger house, they want a nicer car, blah, blah, blah.

02:14:49.000 Trevor Burrus If there was something that it could gain by that,

02:15:08.000 like if it was programmed to have better resources or better something if it gained more power, that it could utilize that power and use it to further its needs, like maybe make a better version of itself.

02:15:23.000 Right.

02:15:24.000 What would be the overall incentive at first?

02:15:27.000 I think we're making life.

02:15:28.000 That's what I think.

02:15:29.000 I think we are an electronic caterpillar that's building a cocoon.

02:15:35.000 That's the next evolution.

02:15:36.000 We're about to give birth to a butterfly.

02:15:38.000 And that butterfly is probably the next stage of life.

02:15:42.000 And the next stage of life is probably going to emerge from human creativity and technology.

02:15:47.000 And it's probably going to be a superior life form.

02:15:49.000 Right.

02:15:50.000 And it's probably going to be a god eventually because it's going to get better and better and better.

02:15:53.000 I mean, maybe that's where it all comes from.

02:15:54.000 Maybe it comes from human creativity creating something that can create itself far better.

02:15:59.000 And then if that keeps going for a million years, it's going to figure out much better power sources.

02:16:05.000 And it'll create something.

02:16:06.000 Yeah.

02:16:06.000 And it's going to be able to travel in ways that we couldn't imagine.

02:16:10.000 I always thought that was funny, like AI, like 30,000 years from now, will be arguing, did God make us or did we come from monkeys?

02:16:17.000 And the answer is both.

02:16:19.000 Both, yeah.

02:16:20.000 Well, I've been playing a lot lately with the idea that the whole universe is God.

02:16:26.000 Yeah, you said that earlier.

02:16:27.000 That our idea of God being a person who created the universe, or a thing, a great being that created the universe.

02:16:34.000 What if the universe itself is God?

02:16:37.000 And just, we just, we are so primitive.

02:16:41.000 Even though we're advanced for everything else that's here, we're so primitive in terms of our ability to understand the inner workings of everything around us.

02:16:49.000 Right.

02:16:50.000 That we're, you know.

02:16:51.000 Well, that idea sort of makes sense, right?

02:16:53.000 Like the idea that the kingdom of heaven is with inside you.

02:16:56.000 It's like, oh no, you are God experiencing itself.

02:17:00.000 Yeah.

02:17:00.000 You are just a part of, an extension of God.

02:17:03.000 Yeah, you are the universe experiencing itself and the universe is God.

02:17:07.000 And the universe is God.

02:17:10.000 All that without drugs.

02:17:12.000 Yeah.

02:17:15.000 Man.

02:17:16.000 It's a strange, strange existence that we all share.

02:17:21.000 We're trying to make sense of it.

02:17:23.000 Everyone's trying to make sense of it.

02:17:26.000 I said this at bottom of the barrel with some lady just talking about not wanting to have kids. 1.00

02:17:32.000 And I was like...

02:17:33.000 But we get to exist.

02:17:35.000 Yeah.

02:17:35.000 How awesome is that?

02:17:37.000 We get to exist.

02:17:38.000 For however short it is, forever like 80 years, hopefully, for you, it's crazy we got to do it.

02:17:47.000 We got to do it.

02:17:48.000 There's some animals out here that don't know that they're existing right now.

02:17:51.000 Right. 0.99

02:17:52.000 But we get to experience it all, and we get to have fun and talk shit with our friends. 0.99

02:17:57.000 Like, it's awesome! 0.98

02:17:58.000 Well, we're lucky.

02:17:59.000 Yes.

02:17:59.000 You and I have some of the luckiest times.

02:18:02.000 I mean, we talk about that all the time when we're hanging out in the green room.

02:18:05.000 Yeah.

02:18:05.000 All these shows that we do, like, how lucky are we to...

02:18:07.000 Ron White's in there talking shit, and Duncan's talking shit, and we're just having so much fun. 0.99

02:18:12.000 I've always said this about me, and I'm sure I think we've talked to you about this, but I feel like I am one of the most blessed people on the planet. 1.00

02:18:21.000 I just really do.

02:18:22.000 I feel like I've just been blessed my entire life, you know, where I was.

02:18:26.000 I grew up in Silicon Valley right when the boom was happening.

02:18:29.000 My parents, for, you know, conservative Bangladeshi Muslim people, my mom has been on board with me doing comedy from very young.

02:18:37.000 That's great.

02:18:38.000 You know, like to not having to get over that barrier to have a teammate on my side in my open mic years.

02:18:45.000 That's great.

02:18:45.000 So rare.

02:18:46.000 One of the things my parents have been really good at is just let me do whatever I want to do.

02:18:50.000 They've been great at that.

02:18:51.000 Yeah.

02:18:51.000 They definitely didn't encourage me to do stand-up, but they didn't want me to fight.

02:18:56.000 They didn't want me to do martial arts.

02:18:58.000 Because I was an angry kid, they thought it was just gonna make me angrier.

02:19:00.000 Right.

02:19:01.000 But it did the opposite.

02:19:01.000 It calmed you down.

02:19:02.000 Oh.

02:19:03.000 Yeah, I gave an outlet for it.

02:19:04.000 Completely different.

02:19:05.000 It also made me confident where I was very unconfident before that.

02:19:09.000 Now all of a sudden I was very confident.

02:19:10.000 So I was like, oh, you can just work hard and you can make things happen. 0.96

02:19:14.000 And you're like, I thought I was a loser. 0.98

02:19:16.000 I was like, I'm going to be a loser. 0.99

02:19:17.000 I'm always a loser. 0.95

02:19:18.000 I'm always the new kid in town and I was small and I would get picked on. 0.92

02:19:23.000 And then I learned how to fight.

02:19:24.000 I'm like, oh, you can get good at things.

02:19:25.000 You just have to work hard at it.

02:19:27.000 And what I learned from my obsession with martial arts at a young age was that When you're obsessed with something and you constantly concentrate on that thing, you get way better really quick.

02:19:38.000 Right.

02:19:39.000 And when you put in more time.

02:19:40.000 So I used to train seven days a week.

02:19:42.000 I was like constantly there.

02:19:43.000 And I just kept getting better, faster and faster and faster and faster.

02:19:46.000 And at the end of, you know, two or three years, I was a different person.

02:19:51.000 Completely different person.

02:19:52.000 Now I was a person to realize, oh, all I have to do is work really hard at something and just be like super focused and I can make it.

02:19:59.000 The comedy thing, though, was so different than martial arts.

02:20:02.000 I was like, oh, okay.

02:20:03.000 This is a completely different thing.

02:20:04.000 It's not just based on my skill.

02:20:07.000 It's based on people actually liking you.

02:20:09.000 They have to like you and what you're saying.

02:20:11.000 So it was like a complete different mind shift that I have to take on.

02:20:15.000 Because I didn't care if people liked me before.

02:20:17.000 I wanted them to not like me.

02:20:19.000 It was fun for me.

02:20:20.000 A bunch of people cheering for someone else and then I knock them unconscious.

02:20:24.000 I enjoyed that.

02:20:26.000 I used to enjoy that. 0.99

02:20:27.000 I know it's fucked up. 0.97

02:20:29.000 But one of my favorite moments was a scary moment. 0.98

02:20:32.000 It was one of the moments when I realized I was going to stop fighting.

02:20:35.000 I was 19 years old and I was fighting in California.

02:20:39.000 It was at the...

02:20:39.000 I believe it was in Anaheim, California.

02:20:41.000 It was at the Nationals.

02:20:43.000 And so I was the state champion from Massachusetts and I fought the state champion.

02:20:46.000 I think he was from...

02:20:47.000 I think he was from Illinois.

02:20:49.000 I forget where he's from.

02:20:51.000 But he had a bunch of people with him and I just had my friend Junkzik.

02:20:54.000 And Junkzik was coaching me, so he was in my corner.

02:20:58.000 Korean? 0.91

02:20:59.000 Yeah.

02:21:01.000 This kid, he made like a very obvious move where he was doing a hopping roundhouse kick with his left leg.

02:21:09.000 And I had a really good wheel kick.

02:21:11.000 And what a wheel kick is, you spin with your back leg and you hit him in the head.

02:21:15.000 And as I recognized he was going to do that, I spun and caught him so hard that I was limping for two days because my foot was sore.

02:21:26.000 Because my heel was sore from his head.

02:21:29.000 And he got knocked completely unconscious, face planted, snoring, the whole deal.

02:21:34.000 And what I used to do back then, my thing to do is, first of all, I would always sleep in front of everybody before the matches.

02:21:40.000 I would just lie down and go to sleep.

02:21:42.000 So I wanted everybody to know that I was so relaxed that I would go to sleep.

02:21:46.000 I'm going to go to sleep.

02:21:47.000 And then when I would knock people out, I would always just walk away like it was nothing.

02:21:53.000 I would walk away like that was exactly what I expected.

02:21:55.000 And then I turned to my friend Junk Sick.

02:21:57.000 I said, did he get up yet?

02:21:58.000 He goes, he's not getting up.

02:21:59.000 He's snoring.

02:22:01.000 And so I stood there for like five minutes and I still didn't look.

02:22:05.000 You know, I had my back turned because they were giving him medical attention.

02:22:07.000 I'm like, did he get up yet?

02:22:08.000 He's like, no, he hasn't gotten up.

02:22:09.000 And he never got up.

02:22:10.000 They put him in a stretcher and they had him on the side of the mats for like half an hour.

02:22:17.000 And then they put him in a stretcher, and then they took him to the hospital.

02:22:20.000 And I got back home to California, and my instructor, who wasn't there for the fights, he's in Boston.

02:22:28.000 So I got back home to Boston.

02:22:29.000 And he said, you had a great knockout. 0.95

02:22:33.000 He goes, I heard you had a really great knockout. 1.00

02:22:35.000 I go, yeah.

02:22:36.000 I go, I thought he was dead.

02:22:38.000 He goes, sometimes they die.

02:22:41.000 And he walked away.

02:22:43.000 And I was like, sometimes they die.

02:22:45.000 I'm them.

02:22:46.000 I'm they.

02:22:48.000 I wasn't the best.

02:22:49.000 I wasn't the best in the world.

02:22:50.000 I could get knocked out too.

02:22:52.000 Easy.

02:22:53.000 Even the best in the world can get knocked out.

02:22:55.000 I watched a lot of guys who I looked up to get KO'd.

02:22:58.000 And then I remember thinking at that moment, like, ooh, what am I doing?

02:23:04.000 Like, what am I doing?

02:23:05.000 So what made you think that you could do stand-up?

02:23:08.000 Like, did you always think that you could do it?

02:23:10.000 Or was there a moment where you're like, oh, I can do...

02:23:12.000 I was talked into it.

02:23:13.000 For me, it was a bunch of...

02:23:15.000 I remember one of the exact moments where one of my friends was like, you should try stand-up.

02:23:19.000 This was back in, like, 2012. And...

02:23:23.000 Coachella just happened and there was that Tupac hologram.

02:23:26.000 I think that was like 2012. And I just remember just ranting about it and I said the words, it's crazy that we brought back Tupac before we got out of Afghanistan.

02:23:37.000 And then one of my friends was like, there's an Olomite you should go try.

02:23:39.000 Oh, wow.

02:23:41.000 That's a great line.

02:23:42.000 And it is true. 0.71

02:23:43.000 Yeah.

02:23:44.000 And by a decade.

02:23:46.000 But they made him jacked.

02:23:48.000 Tupac had been doing CrossFit.

02:23:50.000 He came back jacked.

02:23:51.000 He was so much more jacked than he was in real life. 0.81

02:23:53.000 Yeah.

02:23:54.000 I got talked to by guys that I used to do tournaments with because we would be like on a bus to a tournament and everybody was so nervous.

02:24:02.000 And I would do like gallows humor.

02:24:04.000 I would always be making everybody laugh because I was always looking for attention.

02:24:07.000 Right.

02:24:07.000 So if I get attention by making people laugh- I didn't do it.

02:24:10.000 Yeah, so it was always like making fun of stuff.

02:24:12.000 But it was stuff that we would think is funny because we were crazy people who were trying to kick other people in the head.

02:24:19.000 But I'm like, how many people are going to think like this?

02:24:21.000 And my friend Steve Graham was still a very good friend of mine to this day.

02:24:24.000 He was an ophthalmologist and he was this wild dude who was on the U.S. national ski team. 0.94

02:24:29.000 He was just a crazy man.

02:24:30.000 He was a flight surgeon for the Air Force because he was an ophthalmologist. 0.98

02:24:38.000 Right.

02:24:38.000 Like a brilliant guy who got obsessed with Taekwondo too.

02:24:42.000 And he was like, you should do comedy.

02:24:45.000 I go, listen, you guys are laughing because you like me. 1.00

02:24:48.000 I go, other people are going to think I'm an asshole. 1.00

02:24:50.000 Like this kind of things that I think are funny or fucked up. 1.00

02:24:53.000 And he talked me into it. 0.90

02:24:54.000 And I went to an open mic the first time.

02:24:56.000 And the first time I went to an open mic, I remember thinking... 0.99

02:25:00.000 Oh, some people suck. 0.91

02:25:03.000 Like, I thought comedians were like, I was gonna go see Richard Jenny followed by, you know, this guy, followed by, you know, Jerry Seinfeld, and I can't go out in front of those guys. 0.99

02:25:13.000 I can't do that.

02:25:13.000 I'm not good.

02:25:14.000 And when you go to an open mic night, you realize, oh, everyone's just beginning.

02:25:18.000 And they're all clunky.

02:25:19.000 And then I realized, like, okay, maybe I could do this.

02:25:23.000 Oh, wow.

02:25:24.000 Yeah.

02:25:24.000 And then the first time I got on stage, I was terrified.

02:25:28.000 But I didn't do terrible.

02:25:30.000 I got a few chuckles.

02:25:31.000 A laugh here and there.

02:25:33.000 Do you remember any of your first jokes that got a laugh?

02:25:34.000 Yeah.

02:25:35.000 This is something about hot girls not getting speeding tickets. 1.00

02:25:41.000 The cop pulls the woman over. 0.99

02:25:43.000 Do you realize why I pulled you over? 1.00

02:25:45.000 No, do you like my tits? 1.00

02:25:46.000 Yes, I do. 1.00

02:25:47.000 Here's a warning. 1.00

02:25:47.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

02:25:49.000 That's a very, like, you can just, now that you've been doing comedy for a while, you can see how rudimentary that joke is. 1.00

02:25:54.000 Oh, yeah.

02:25:54.000 It's so funny.

02:25:55.000 So clunky.

02:25:56.000 Yeah.

02:25:56.000 I had a joke about license plates from New Hampshire that say, live free or die.

02:26:02.000 I'm like, those plates are made by prisoners. 0.99

02:26:04.000 Do you know how annoying that must be? 0.99

02:26:06.000 To be locked in a cage every day, just fucking live free or die, and you just want to fucking get your head not pressing. 1.00

02:26:12.000 It was just dumb jokes. 1.00

02:26:15.000 They were just real clunky. 0.99

02:26:16.000 I love first premises.

02:26:19.000 I have I have my 10th time on stage somewhere deep in my like private YouTube on on stage like my 10th time One day like when it's all said and done.

02:26:31.000 I want to release that But like after my whole career is over be like this is how it starts.

02:26:35.000 Mmm.

02:26:36.000 Yeah, it's amazing It's an amazing journey and it just it takes so fucking long and you're never done like I'm I feel like I'm better now than I've ever been It's nuts.

02:26:47.000 That's the first thing you said when you sat down.

02:26:48.000 You're like, never ends.

02:26:49.000 It never ends.

02:26:50.000 It never ends.

02:26:51.000 No.

02:26:52.000 It never ends.

02:26:52.000 But you can always be getting better.

02:26:53.000 And you're always writing new stuff.

02:26:54.000 So it's always like you have this new dimension and there's always a new thing that you're exploring. 0.96

02:26:58.000 There's always a new thing that you're fucking around with. 0.93

02:27:02.000 We're very lucky, my friend. 0.98

02:27:03.000 Oh, man.

02:27:04.000 The luckiest.

02:27:05.000 Yeah, we're the luckiest.

02:27:05.000 The luckiest.

02:27:06.000 We're here at the mothership.

02:27:07.000 Well, thank you for doing this. 1.00

02:27:08.000 Tell everybody where to find you, all your shit. 0.98

02:27:11.000 Yeah, you can find me on Instagram, AhsanJahmad, E-H-S-A-N, J-A-H-M-A-D. And I have my own podcast called The Dangerous Brown Podcast. 0.99

02:27:20.000 Check it out.

02:27:21.000 All right, my brother.

02:27:22.000 I'll see you soon.

02:27:23.000 See you soon.

02:27:23.000 Bye, everybody.

02:27:24.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 21, 2023

Joe Rogan Experience #2050 - Ehsan Ahmad

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript