The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:04.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

00:00:12.000 Like, could that abuse labor?

00:00:14.000 Getting in a cold plunge?

00:00:15.000 Eight months pregnant?

00:00:16.000 Ask Jamie.

00:00:17.000 He would know.

00:00:17.000 Jamie?

00:00:18.000 Get on that.

00:00:19.000 I'm sure there's a Reddit forum for that.

00:00:20.000 Last time I tried.

00:00:22.000 Last night with those smelling salts, people doing the smelling salts, I was like, if I even inhale that, I feel like I'm going to start crowning.

00:00:28.000 Yeah.

00:00:29.000 It's very funny how those smelling salts have made their way from the studio to now at the club.

00:00:36.000 Everybody's doing smelling salts.

00:00:38.000 Between the kratom and the smelly salts.

00:00:40.000 I'm like...

00:00:41.000 You gotta keep the Kratom away from Duncan. 1.00

00:00:43.000 That motherfucker drinks cases of that stuff. 1.00

00:00:46.000 It's so crazy. 1.00

00:00:47.000 We get there.

00:00:48.000 And is Kratom naturally occurring?

00:00:51.000 It's like a...

00:00:52.000 It's a plant.

00:00:53.000 Plant?

00:00:53.000 Yeah.

00:00:54.000 That stuff is Live Free or whatever it's called.

00:00:58.000 What are those things called, Jamie?

00:00:59.000 Hmm.

00:01:00.000 What is it called?

00:01:02.000 Live Free?

00:01:03.000 That's the brand?

00:01:04.000 I don't know.

00:01:05.000 But they used to have them at like...

00:01:09.000 Sun Life, you know that place?

00:01:10.000 Organics?

00:01:11.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:11.000 But then, you know, you're not supposed to drink.

00:01:14.000 They're that big.

00:01:15.000 Okay.

00:01:15.000 And you're supposed to drink a half a bottle.

00:01:17.000 Okay.

00:01:17.000 But they're not clear.

00:01:19.000 So you have to kind of like hold it up to the light to see where half is. 0.94

00:01:22.000 You get to guess like what half is. 0.95

00:01:24.000 And a lot of people were just drinking the whole thing and they were getting fucked up.

00:01:28.000 Yeah, there was a time when you were out of town and I was at the mothership and everyone was doing like four or five things.

00:01:33.000 I was like, you guys, when Joe leaves, we can't all just get addicted to drugs.

00:01:38.000 When you're out of town, it is a little different up there.

00:01:41.000 Well, it's kind of an opiate.

00:01:43.000 I don't know.

00:01:44.000 What exactly is kratom?

00:01:46.000 And it's legal?

00:01:47.000 It's legal?

00:01:48.000 Yeah, it's legal.

00:01:49.000 Totally.

00:01:50.000 I had a guy that was on my podcast once that used to be an opiate addict, and then he started taking kratom.

00:01:56.000 And they were selling it as pills.

00:01:58.000 And he said, well, if you take a small amount of it, it actually acts as like a stimulant, but if you take a larger amount of it, it's a different effect.

00:02:04.000 I said, how many do you take?

00:02:06.000 He says, I take 10. I go, you take 10?

00:02:09.000 He goes, I take 10 before I work out.

00:02:11.000 I'm like, okay, I'll try it.

00:02:13.000 So I took 10. And I was high as fuck. 0.99

00:02:18.000 It's a weird high. 0.99

00:02:20.000 Because it's like, I felt like...

00:02:23.000 You know, I'm pretty aware of my body, so I'm like, my motor skills feel perfect.

00:02:29.000 I don't feel like anything's wrong.

00:02:31.000 I feel like I could go do stuff.

00:02:33.000 I'm not like drunk or anything like that.

00:02:36.000 I go, but I'm definitely affected.

00:02:39.000 So what is this?

00:02:40.000 Would this affect judgment?

00:02:42.000 Would this affect your reaction time?

00:02:44.000 I shouldn't drive like this.

00:02:46.000 But pain tolerance down, that's probably good for working out.

00:02:48.000 I guess.

00:02:49.000 Is it though?

00:02:50.000 I did kind of used to like to smoke weed and work out.

00:02:53.000 I like smoking weed and working out.

00:02:54.000 Yeah, well, smoking weed and working out makes me feel like I know what my muscles are doing.

00:03:00.000 Yeah, you like feel every, focusing more. 0.99

00:03:03.000 Fibers and shit. 0.96

00:03:05.000 You know what it's really good for? 0.99

00:03:07.000 Technique.

00:03:07.000 Like when you learn martial arts technique, like there's certain things about like kicking a bag in particular.

00:03:17.000 When I haven't smoked weed, I mean, I've been doing it my whole life, so I know how to do it.

00:03:21.000 But then, if I smoke weed, I feel like where the little leverage points are.

00:03:29.000 I feel like where the torque comes in.

00:03:32.000 I feel the weight distribution.

00:03:36.000 It's like you're more sensitive.

00:03:38.000 Just more present in your body.

00:03:40.000 It makes you so much better at pool.

00:03:42.000 It makes my pool game like, yeah, like there's a term in pool like a ball.

00:03:47.000 Like say if we were playing nine ball and you were better than me, you would give me the eight ball.

00:03:51.000 That means like it's a big advantage to have the eight ball.

00:03:53.000 That means I don't just win by winning by making the nine ball.

00:03:56.000 I can make the nine ball or the eight ball.

00:03:59.000 So that's like it gives you a ball.

00:04:01.000 That means so like when I smoke pot, I'm one ball better.

00:04:07.000 Legitimately.

00:04:08.000 I'm like 10% better.

00:04:09.000 Easily.

00:04:10.000 Maybe more.

00:04:11.000 Is there any in pool shade on taking Adderall or smoking weed?

00:04:16.000 No one cares? 0.99

00:04:17.000 Yeah, people talk shit about you, but they all do it. 1.00

00:04:20.000 Pool players are notorious drug addicts. 1.00

00:04:24.000 Cocaine's probably great for pool.

00:04:26.000 There's I've met more I didn't even know drugs I didn't really understand drug culture when I started hanging around in pool halls Because I had gone from being a fighter to being a comedian So in fighting there's no drinking no partying no nothing all throughout high school.

00:04:43.000 I was like very rarely did I imbibe in anything I was all just about competition and then I started hanging out with comedians and And the ones that were doing drugs, God, their life was falling apart.

00:04:56.000 And then I started hanging out in this pool hall, and they were all doing drugs.

00:05:01.000 Everybody was doing something.

00:05:03.000 There was guys doing heroin.

00:05:05.000 There were crack addicts.

00:05:07.000 One of my best friends was a crack addict.

00:05:09.000 Have you seen this video where Boozy the rapper is endorsing crack over fentanyl?

00:05:15.000 Have you seen...

00:05:17.000 Dude, it's so...

00:05:18.000 Oh, it's a good point.

00:05:19.000 Crackheads live... 1.00

00:05:20.000 He's like, my crackhead friends I've known for 20 years.

00:05:23.000 He's like, they're around, they can do anything, they have powers, and then...

00:05:28.000 Well, you know, crack is just cocaine.

00:05:30.000 It's just another way...

00:05:31.000 And he just cooked...

00:05:32.000 Yeah, it's freebasing cocaine.

00:05:35.000 And the scary thing is, even though we know that, it's one of the most racist laws that's ever been enacted, where the difference between the sentencing for someone who gets caught with crack versus someone who gets caught with an equivalent amount of cocaine,

00:05:52.000 it's like a giant disparity.

00:05:54.000 Did Deion Sanders say this too?

00:05:56.000 Oh, I don't know who that is.

00:06:01.000 Boozy.

00:06:01.000 B-O-S-I. No, my cousin June Bull.

00:06:06.000 He was a crackhead and a good dude, though.

00:06:09.000 But he was very athletic because he was still stuck when I came home from college and couldn't ever catch him.

00:06:13.000 Couldn't ever catch him.

00:06:14.000 And he was selling.

00:06:16.000 And I would have to go get it back at the hood from the drug dealers.

00:06:20.000 He was probably the most athletic, my cousin June Bull.

00:06:22.000 But next to that, I think it was both.

00:06:29.000 Imagine there's some dude out there, Junebug the crackhead, that's more athletic than a guy who's widely regarded as being one of the most athletic humans that's ever lived.

00:06:39.000 And then, the boozy one is...

00:06:42.000 But Junebug's more athletic than Bo Jackson! 1.00

00:06:45.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:06:46.000 Junebug the Bert Kreischer of the hood. 1.00

00:06:48.000 There was this dude I've talked about many times, but his name was Water Dog.

00:06:52.000 That was his nickname.

00:06:53.000 Or they would call him Buffalo Bill.

00:06:54.000 And he was this pool player and he would do heroin.

00:06:58.000 So he would go into the bathroom and shut the door and he'd be in there for 20 minutes and everybody knew what he was doing.

00:07:05.000 And then he'd go out and he'd sit on a bar stool like this.

00:07:09.000 With his hands in front of him like a bird.

00:07:12.000 T-Rex, yeah.

00:07:12.000 Yeah, and just like this.

00:07:14.000 And he would sit there for like 20 minutes.

00:07:17.000 And then he would get down, and he had like gerbil eyes, like black eyes, and he couldn't miss.

00:07:22.000 He would play pool, he just wouldn't miss.

00:07:25.000 Like he knew how much time he needed for it to calibrate and then...

00:07:29.000 He was so accurate.

00:07:31.000 It was stunning.

00:07:32.000 He had no nerves.

00:07:34.000 That's wild.

00:07:35.000 He didn't feel anything.

00:07:36.000 Because Poole is gambling.

00:07:38.000 The reason why it's called Poole, it's Pocket Billiards is the name of the game, but Poole is pooling money together to gamble.

00:07:45.000 So like the real pool players, almost all of them gambled.

00:07:48.000 And takes away inhibition, so you're not...

00:07:50.000 He had no fear.

00:07:51.000 He had no nerves.

00:07:52.000 He would just fire these balls into the hole in this really tight-pocketed table playing for like $10,000.

00:08:00.000 And I was like, this is nuts!

00:08:02.000 I wonder what it's...

00:08:03.000 I've never done heroin.

00:08:04.000 Must be pretty awesome if people are trading their kids for it.

00:08:08.000 Yeah, I got morphine when I had my knee surgery once.

00:08:13.000 By the way, if you hear me and I sound funny, ladies and gentlemen, I just got out.

00:08:18.000 I just got out.

00:08:21.000 So if I sound like I'm on heroin, I'm just cold.

00:08:25.000 I want to do it.

00:08:27.000 What was I saying?

00:08:28.000 Doing heroin takes all your fears away.

00:08:30.000 When you did methadone?

00:08:32.000 Oh, yes.

00:08:36.000 I wonder what that's like.

00:08:37.000 I wonder what methadone's like in comparison to...

00:08:39.000 Isn't methadone basically Adderall?

00:08:40.000 Like, we've done Adderall.

00:08:42.000 I think it's like a kind of an opiate, but it doesn't get you high. 1.00

00:08:45.000 It just makes you stupid. 1.00

00:08:47.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:08:48.000 We can go to San Francisco and get some.

00:08:50.000 I think you can just walk in now.

00:08:51.000 It's pretty easy.

00:08:52.000 You don't even have to have a prescription.

00:08:53.000 I had a knee surgery when I was in the hospital.

00:08:57.000 They had me on a morphine drip.

00:08:59.000 And apparently, this is in the 90s, I don't know if they'd still do this, but you could hit a button And when you hit a button, you would get more morphine.

00:09:07.000 And it was wonderful.

00:09:08.000 It was wonderful.

00:09:09.000 Have we ever done fentanyl, like, at the doctor?

00:09:11.000 Like, if I've gotten a surgery, have I done fentanyl?

00:09:14.000 Or is that propofol?

00:09:16.000 Propofol.

00:09:17.000 Propofol is the stuff that puts you under.

00:09:20.000 Fentanyl is a prescription drug, though.

00:09:23.000 They give people fentanyl patches.

00:09:25.000 Uh-huh.

00:09:27.000 There's prescription, it's just so strong.

00:09:30.000 What is it, like a hundred times stronger than heroin or something?

00:09:32.000 Do you want to see the boozy?

00:09:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:34.000 It's so epic.

00:09:41.000 People, just stop taking fentanyl and go back to crack.

00:09:44.000 Crack.

00:09:45.000 I'm promoting it. 1.00

00:09:49.000 Fitting all, killing all the junkers who've been junkers. 1.00

00:09:52.000 I'm telling you, it's killing the junkers who've been junkers for... 1.00

00:09:55.000 Forever.

00:09:56.000 Yes.

00:09:56.000 Soon as they hit it, they dig.

00:09:57.000 Right. 0.97

00:09:58.000 Crackhead, this nigga shoot threes. 1.00

00:10:00.000 This nigga shoot basketball. 1.00

00:10:01.000 This nigga run a hundred miles. 1.00

00:10:05.000 This nigga get sane. 1.00

00:10:06.000 This nigga fix your car motor. 1.00

00:10:09.000 Been doing this for 20 years. 1.00

00:10:11.000 This motherfucker still running around the neighborhood. 1.00

00:10:14.000 When have you ever heard crackheads hitting the pipe and dying the first time? 1.00

00:10:17.000 Never.

00:10:18.000 Never! 1.00

00:10:19.000 This spitting off shit is different. 1.00

00:10:21.000 I would much rather crack. 1.00

00:10:23.000 I would much rather, much rather crack.

00:10:26.000 He's making logical sense.

00:10:27.000 I've been seeing my crackhead people for 30 years.

00:10:30.000 True. 0.99

00:10:30.000 This nigga hit fentanyl two times. 0.99

00:10:34.000 He's gone. 0.99

00:10:34.000 You never see him again. 0.99

00:10:36.000 Right.

00:10:37.000 I promote crack before fentanyl.

00:10:40.000 I'm sorry.

00:10:40.000 Right.

00:10:41.000 And you know something?

00:10:41.000 All right.

00:10:42.000 He's right.

00:10:43.000 But by the way, he's saying that and he looks fabulous.

00:10:46.000 He says they have power.

00:10:48.000 Anything, bro.

00:10:49.000 And they're still smoking crack and they're still together.

00:10:51.000 They can do anything, bro.

00:10:53.000 Crackhead, bro.

00:10:54.000 Whatever was in crack, they gave him a real power.

00:10:57.000 Did you ever see the video of the crackhead?

00:11:00.000 No, I ain't seen it.

00:11:04.000 He goes, you ever seen the video of the Kraken with the kangaroo?

00:11:07.000 Covered in diamonds, designer sunglasses on, multicolored puma.

00:11:14.000 Kraken was not killing people the same way.

00:11:16.000 He's right.

00:11:17.000 He's 100% right.

00:11:18.000 He's 100% right.

00:11:20.000 Yeah, my friend Johnny, he didn't die from Kraken.

00:11:23.000 My friend who was a Kraken, he died from heroin.

00:11:27.000 He wound up getting on pills.

00:11:28.000 He died from opiates.

00:11:31.000 I told you about what happened when I had a raccoon in my yard.

00:11:36.000 You've got Guatemalans trying to sneak over the fence. 1.00

00:11:42.000 Didn't you have the fucking people casing your house? 1.00

00:11:45.000 The Chilean Mafia. 1.00

00:11:47.000 The Chilean Mafia, that's right.

00:11:49.000 So the only people cleaning up homeless people now in LA are Scientology and the Chilean Mafia. 0.80

00:11:54.000 And the Chilean Mafia basically takes homeless people, gives them a BMX bike, Gives them like an outfit some and yeah, I sent you the video of them casing my house because they were robbing people in Brentwood and Santa Monica. 1.00

00:12:05.000 Yeah, causing all kinds of shit. 0.98

00:12:07.000 Yes, they're well known. 1.00

00:12:09.000 It's like a well-known organization.

00:12:11.000 Nobody cares.

00:12:11.000 Scientology takes them in.

00:12:12.000 That's what I'm hearing.

00:12:14.000 That's a smart move.

00:12:15.000 Super smart.

00:12:16.000 That's like wild wild country.

00:12:17.000 Remember wild wild country?

00:12:19.000 They took all the homeless people so that they could win the election. 1.00

00:12:22.000 Smart as shit. 1.00

00:12:23.000 And then after they were done, they're like, yeah, we're done with you. 1.00

00:12:26.000 And they were putting the beavers in blenders, remember?

00:12:29.000 And they were, like, putting beavers in blenders.

00:12:31.000 Beavers in blenders?

00:12:32.000 Yeah, didn't they?

00:12:33.000 In Wild Wild Country, they were putting, like, squirrels in beavers in blenders and stuff to make everybody sick so that they wouldn't vote.

00:12:38.000 Oh, well, they poisoned people.

00:12:39.000 Right.

00:12:39.000 Yeah.

00:12:40.000 They went to the salad bar.

00:12:41.000 God!

00:12:42.000 That's right.

00:12:42.000 And put bacteria so people had such bad diarrhea they didn't go vote.

00:12:46.000 That was that Sheila lady. 1.00

00:12:47.000 Sheila.

00:12:47.000 She was scary!

00:12:49.000 That bitch is scary! 1.00

00:12:51.000 I would not fuck with her. 1.00

00:12:52.000 That was scary. 1.00

00:12:52.000 Tough titties, wasn't it that? 1.00

00:12:54.000 So I have this raccoon in my yard and it's acting really weird and I'm poking at it.

00:13:00.000 Because the way they sleep is they just sort of bend over a branch or whatever.

00:13:04.000 But I was poking at it.

00:13:05.000 It wasn't moving.

00:13:05.000 It wasn't behaving like a raccoon.

00:13:07.000 And so I call animal control. 0.99

00:13:08.000 This is like the most California fucking response. 0.99

00:13:10.000 I'm like, I have this raccoon in my tree. 0.99

00:13:13.000 And she's like, yeah, that's where they live. 1.00

00:13:14.000 I'm like, yeah, no, this is where I live, bitch. 1.00

00:13:17.000 It's sick. 1.00

00:13:18.000 Something's wrong with it. 1.00

00:13:18.000 Last thing I need is a fucking coyote eating it. 1.00

00:13:21.000 And then we have rabid coyotes. 1.00

00:13:22.000 I already have to deal with that shit. 1.00

00:13:24.000 And she goes, well, a lot of the wild animals in California are acting really weird right now because people are testing their cocaine for fentanyl. 1.00

00:13:30.000 And if it tests positive, they flush it down the toilet.

00:13:32.000 So there's fentanyl in the water.

00:13:33.000 So the coyotes and raccoons are acting really weird.

00:13:36.000 What?

00:13:37.000 That's what she said? 0.99

00:13:38.000 I was like, if you're telling me there's fentanyl coyotes, I gotta get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:13:44.000 Wait a minute. 0.66

00:13:45.000 What about people?

00:13:47.000 Do people get that water?

00:13:48.000 Where's that water going?

00:13:49.000 I mean, they already probably...

00:13:51.000 Does that mean that wastewater from a toilet flushing goes out into the streets?

00:13:58.000 What is this, Rome?

00:14:01.000 Probably.

00:14:01.000 This is how they started the Black Plague.

00:14:03.000 Headed for the same fate, it seems.

00:14:05.000 Well, that's what started a lot of the plagues.

00:14:07.000 Like, people had terrible hygiene back there, terrible sanitation.

00:14:12.000 Crazy.

00:14:13.000 There's a book called Dissolving Illusions, and it's about...

00:14:17.000 The invention of vaccines and the conditions that people lived in. 0.98

00:14:22.000 In the early 1900s in major cities, you don't think about it, but if people didn't have trucks, because trucks didn't exist, How did they shit? 0.97

00:14:35.000 How'd they get their food? 0.98

00:14:37.000 Well, guess what?

00:14:37.000 They didn't.

00:14:38.000 They didn't get good food.

00:14:40.000 So they didn't get any fresh vegetables.

00:14:42.000 No one's getting any vitamins.

00:14:43.000 And everywhere is like an open sewer.

00:14:46.000 They had these equivalent to large outhouses on these blocks.

00:14:50.000 And it's just horrible sanitation. 1.00

00:14:54.000 Horses shit eight times a day. 1.00

00:14:55.000 They're walking through horse shit. 1.00

00:14:58.000 That mud was all shit. 1.00

00:14:58.000 But that's probably the most sanitary shit they're walking through because horses are just eating grass. 1.00

00:15:04.000 But humans, we're eating meat and all kinds of other stuff and it's fucking coming out of your ass. 1.00

00:15:12.000 Dog shit smells so much worse than deer shit. 1.00

00:15:15.000 Deer shit doesn't smell like anything. 1.00

00:15:17.000 It smells like nothing because they just eat grass. 1.00

00:15:20.000 They eat grass, they shit grass. 1.00

00:15:21.000 It's like just grass going through their digestive system. 1.00

00:15:24.000 But dog shit's just like, what did you eat, Sally? 1.00

00:15:29.000 Sally's over there eating dead raccoons and squirrels. 1.00

00:15:33.000 People used to die of just dysentery.

00:15:35.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:36.000 If you had one cut and walked down the street, you're just...

00:15:38.000 Well, how about staph infections?

00:15:40.000 People almost die of staph...

00:15:41.000 Well, they probably do die of staph infections today if they don't get taken care of. 0.99

00:15:44.000 But staph infections are scary as shit. 0.99

00:15:47.000 And people have always got those. 0.98

00:15:49.000 You'd just get cut and you'd get infected.

00:15:51.000 It's wild.

00:15:52.000 I mean, it's like, yeah, with all these, like, sort of issues now with depression and anxiety, back then you had such real things to worry about. 0.99

00:15:58.000 Like, how do I get home without getting covered in shit, without getting dysentery? 0.94

00:16:02.000 There was no time to be depressed. 0.99

00:16:03.000 There was no time.

00:16:04.000 That was the only thing to be anxious about.

00:16:05.000 Well, you were always vulnerable.

00:16:07.000 I mean, think about all the times when you were a kid where you got hurt.

00:16:11.000 Like, when I was a kid, I broke my arm once, you know, you fall down, you gotta go to the doctor, you get this, that.

00:16:16.000 Back then, kids just died.

00:16:18.000 Yep.

00:16:18.000 They just died.

00:16:19.000 You get a broken leg, you're dead.

00:16:21.000 That was it.

00:16:21.000 But also, I'm fascinated, because, you know, I'm about to have a kid, and I want to make sure he has a little adversity, you know?

00:16:26.000 And, like, I was with a friend of mine at the playgrounds now, they're, like, rubbery, and they're all made of plastic and shit. 0.97

00:16:33.000 Like, when's the last time you saw a kid in a cast? 0.98

00:16:37.000 That's true.

00:16:38.000 I see them occasionally. 0.99

00:16:39.000 Every kid's in Texas, so kids do normal shit. 0.99

00:16:42.000 There used to be a cast with a metal bar when I was in school. 0.99

00:16:48.000 It was a metal bar.

00:16:49.000 They go to your hip.

00:16:50.000 We spent the first 45 minutes of school signing casts.

00:16:55.000 Everyone was in a cast when we were kids.

00:16:57.000 Remember the seesaws are gone?

00:17:00.000 Yeah.

00:17:00.000 Slides used to be made of sheet metal.

00:17:04.000 They're like plastic.

00:17:05.000 Do you remember there was like a chain, like a pirate ship chain we would climb up?

00:17:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:09.000 Tetanus getting pinched.

00:17:11.000 Seesaws. 1.00

00:17:12.000 Dude, what was more dangerous than a seesaw?

00:17:15.000 You flick it up in the air and your fat friend jumps on the top of it and you go flying. 1.00

00:17:20.000 You were always the asshole. 1.00

00:17:21.000 You'd just be on the bottom and wait and then step off it and just watch them careen to the ground. 1.00

00:17:27.000 Dude, we used to play bloody knuckles all day.

00:17:30.000 Like we would just punch each other in the knuckle.

00:17:32.000 We would just be bleeding at all times.

00:17:33.000 How about those things that spin around where you spin your friends around as fast as possible?

00:17:38.000 You know, the ones where you're like hanging on.

00:17:40.000 It's just a wheel.

00:17:41.000 It's not really a merry-go-round.

00:17:42.000 It's much smaller. 0.99

00:17:43.000 But you'd be spinning that motherfucker and you'd grab your friend and you'd try to literally make him fly off of it. 1.00

00:17:49.000 Just a lazy Susan for pedophiles. 1.00

00:17:51.000 Kids in the park. 0.99

00:17:53.000 I would get stuck under.

00:17:55.000 You'd get under the merry-go-round.

00:17:57.000 Remember the jungle gym?

00:17:59.000 It was like scaffolding, basically.

00:18:02.000 Hang upside down with no ability to...

00:18:07.000 Under concrete.

00:18:08.000 We used to play in tires.

00:18:09.000 We would just get in a tire and roll down a hill.

00:18:12.000 That was just a game. 1.00

00:18:12.000 Normal shit. 1.00

00:18:13.000 We did play on concrete. 1.00

00:18:15.000 Yeah.

00:18:16.000 And there was like little, it was just like a construction site is basically what we used to play on.

00:18:20.000 Yeah, kids today, unless you live in a terrible neighborhood, that's not generally the case.

00:18:26.000 No.

00:18:27.000 It's like mushy now, although I was...

00:18:31.000 But isn't that smart?

00:18:32.000 I know, we're like, let's go back to how it was.

00:18:34.000 We don't want these kids to get hurt.

00:18:36.000 Did you see this video a couple months ago where this cop goes down the slide at an enormously fast speed?

00:18:41.000 Oh, I think I did.

00:18:42.000 No.

00:18:42.000 It doesn't make sense how he gets to speed.

00:18:44.000 So you see the slide right here.

00:18:45.000 I'll play it real fast.

00:18:46.000 But it doesn't make sense how he gets going this fast.

00:18:48.000 Let's see.

00:18:49.000 Is he going to get hurt?

00:18:50.000 I mean, he probably did.

00:18:51.000 Oh! 0.60

00:18:53.000 Jesus!

00:18:53.000 He's flying down the slide.

00:18:55.000 Backwards.

00:18:56.000 Face first. 0.97

00:18:58.000 Well, that's a really dumb way to do it, first of all. 0.98

00:19:00.000 Jesus! 1.00

00:19:02.000 It's crazy.

00:19:03.000 I don't know, dude.

00:19:04.000 Why did he do it belly down?

00:19:06.000 That just seems like...

00:19:07.000 The whole thing doesn't make sense.

00:19:08.000 That's like an ad for Kratom?

00:19:10.000 I don't know.

00:19:10.000 He seemed like he wasn't totally conscious when he came out.

00:19:14.000 Not a lot of people want to be cops these days.

00:19:15.000 It's a tough job.

00:19:16.000 Yeah.

00:19:17.000 Sometimes he's not getting the best and the brightest.

00:19:19.000 It's kind of true. 0.98

00:19:21.000 Why is he fucking on duty? 0.99

00:19:23.000 What if he breaks a leg? 1.00

00:19:24.000 What if he broke his ankle flying out of that fucking thing? 1.00

00:19:28.000 Worker's comps. 0.99

00:19:29.000 Does he even get worker's comp for that?

00:19:30.000 No, no, no.

00:19:31.000 Sorry, dude.

00:19:33.000 But it is wild, I think, how much more physically we used to have to contend with.

00:19:40.000 Yeah, but you can get your kid into jiu-jitsu.

00:19:42.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:19:44.000 Your kid can 100% experience adversity under controlled circumstances, which is probably way better anyway.

00:19:52.000 And even tolerate boredom.

00:19:53.000 My mom used to say, go out and play.

00:19:55.000 Entertain yourself.

00:19:56.000 I mean, go out and play.

00:19:59.000 Come back before dark.

00:20:00.000 Is that illegal now?

00:20:02.000 You could do it in certain neighborhoods.

00:20:04.000 You could do it more here than you can in other places.

00:20:07.000 Yeah.

00:20:07.000 But yeah, it's not like people don't do that anymore.

00:20:09.000 You would just fuck around and find out. 0.99

00:20:11.000 You would just put your finger in a light socket all day. 0.99

00:20:15.000 Well, we just, I don't think parents knew as much and I don't think there was as much of a fear of predators.

00:20:21.000 You know, like I have a friend who his kid almost got kidnapped.

00:20:26.000 He's at a park and he had looked down or wasn't paying attention for I don't know how long looking at his phone and then he looks up and there's a guy who's like reaching for his son's hand and taking him towards a van.

00:20:44.000 Why is it always a van?

00:20:46.000 Because that's the best way to carry someone around.

00:20:48.000 You open the door real quick, throw them in, shut the door.

00:20:52.000 Also, there's no windows. 0.95

00:20:54.000 And he fucking runs over and stops it before it happens, but he was so freaked out. 0.97

00:20:59.000 What if he didn't look up from his phone? 0.99

00:21:03.000 The kids are playing around with other kids, and you get bored, and you just start looking at your phone.

00:21:08.000 What if he didn't? 0.97

00:21:12.000 I had that stupid nude leak thing happen, so I have this IT guy who's explaining to me, I'm like, what's the hygiene for kids on Instagram? 0.99

00:21:22.000 I probably just won't put him on Instagram, I don't know. 0.99

00:21:26.000 But he was like, the way that predators pick up kids now is they basically just collect information from the parents' Instagram, right?

00:21:32.000 Like, you're at Disneyland with your kid, and then you got strawberry ice cream with your kid, and then you went to Universal Studios with your kid.

00:21:38.000 Some creep pedophile goes up to the kid and goes, Oh, hey, Johnny, right? 0.78

00:21:42.000 I'm Mark. 0.95

00:21:45.000 I met you at Disneyland.

00:21:46.000 Remember?

00:21:46.000 We got the strawberry ice cream.

00:21:47.000 Oh, jeez.

00:21:48.000 And then we went to Universal Studios.

00:21:49.000 Your dad told me to come pick you up.

00:21:51.000 Oh, my God.

00:21:52.000 So that's how they just collect information.

00:21:53.000 And then it's probably easy to talk a kid with all those details into getting to a car.

00:21:59.000 I know.

00:22:01.000 I saw a hit and run last night.

00:22:03.000 Did I tell you about this?

00:22:05.000 At the club?

00:22:06.000 Guy was running from the cops.

00:22:08.000 Guy was high-speed pursuit from the cops.

00:22:11.000 Two cars in front of us.

00:22:14.000 I didn't realize you saw it in person.

00:22:15.000 I thought you saw it online.

00:22:16.000 Oh, no, no, no. 1.00

00:22:17.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:22:18.000 Oh, no, no, no. 1.00

00:22:19.000 I saw the whole thing.

00:22:20.000 So I didn't know that he was running from the cops.

00:22:22.000 I just see this car flying at the intersection and T-bone this other car.

00:22:28.000 He's trying to make it.

00:22:29.000 He tries to hit the turn.

00:22:30.000 Boom! 0.99

00:22:31.000 I mean, fast.

00:22:33.000 And then opens the door and runs.

00:22:37.000 So the dude who t-boned the guy jumps out of his car at a full sprint, full sprint across the street.

00:22:44.000 And me and the guy I was with were like, he's probably drunk.

00:22:50.000 Like he's probably realized he fucked up and he's drunk and he's trying to run away from the scene of the crime. 0.92

00:22:56.000 And then they tackle them. 0.99

00:22:58.000 Some citizens got them.

00:23:00.000 And so we hear, they got them, we got them, we got them.

00:23:03.000 I wouldn't want Texas citizens getting me.

00:23:04.000 They're more armed than most police officers here, dude.

00:23:07.000 Well, not only that, it's the lakes.

00:23:08.000 Everybody's running around out there.

00:23:10.000 It's like, it's fit, because it's right over by Lady Bird Lake.

00:23:13.000 So this guy apparently was in a high-speed chase from the police and just slammed right into a car.

00:23:19.000 I mean, easily could have been us.

00:23:20.000 It was two cars in front of us. 0.99

00:23:21.000 That's fucking... 0.99

00:23:22.000 But it was BOOM! I don't think I've ever seen in person someone hit a guy with a car that hard, like up close. 0.99

00:23:31.000 And it went into the passenger side?

00:23:32.000 Oh, just smushed the side of this car.

00:23:35.000 This car went flying.

00:23:38.000 The one car, it goes flying up in the air.

00:23:41.000 And the other car goes flying to the side.

00:23:44.000 And then, boom, the car falls down.

00:23:45.000 And the moment it falls down, the dude opens the door.

00:23:47.000 He's out.

00:23:48.000 He starts running.

00:23:51.000 And he was dressed like he just got done playing golf.

00:23:54.000 It was so weird to see.

00:23:55.000 He's, like, wearing, like, a golf shirt. 0.98

00:23:57.000 I love that his first instinct was not just fucking running. 0.95

00:23:59.000 What did he do wrong? 0.98

00:24:00.000 He probably had a warrant out for his arrest or something.

00:24:03.000 It was probably something.

00:24:05.000 Because if he's running from the cops, something was going on. 1.00

00:24:07.000 When you see that shit real up close, it always blows my mind. 0.99

00:24:11.000 Like, when I first moved to LA, I lived right above Ari on Miller Drive, above Pink Dot, so that I could be close to the Comedy Store. 0.99

00:24:19.000 And there's that intersection there, Sunset and La Cienega, and there's all these, you know...

00:24:23.000 And both people trying to take lefts are always trying to, you know, cheat the yellow light. 0.87

00:24:29.000 And I'm at the northern part of the intersection, and a motorcycle is coming down Sunset, fast as shit, and then someone's trying to take the left... 0.95

00:24:37.000 When I tell you, I've been in LA five days. 0.96

00:24:39.000 I'm like, I'm gonna be a comedian.

00:24:40.000 I'm in front of Pink Dot.

00:24:42.000 I see this car hit the motorcycle.

00:24:44.000 The guy goes up into the air.

00:24:47.000 I mean, it must have been 50 feet in the air.

00:24:49.000 His shoes come off.

00:24:51.000 I guess that's the thing when you get hit by a car.

00:24:52.000 Your shoes come off, which is wild.

00:24:54.000 And then comes down head first.

00:24:56.000 Because your head is the heaviest.

00:24:58.000 And I mean, it was so disturbing.

00:25:01.000 Head broke off his body.

00:25:02.000 I mean, just head off body.

00:25:04.000 And then shoes were like 50 feet away from him.

00:25:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:09.000 Very dead.

00:25:11.000 The deadest.

00:25:12.000 Like when you see that, you're like, I feel like that's how it would have gone in a Michael Bay movie or I don't know, that just feels a little wild when you actually see it up close.

00:25:20.000 Yeah.

00:25:21.000 You know, like the sounds, the crunching, the thuds, you're like, oh, that's just a body.

00:25:25.000 The thing is, it's kind of extraordinary.

00:25:28.000 How little car accidents we have.

00:25:31.000 When you think about how many people are just so distracted and how crazy the act of getting onto this concrete surface with this thing that's rolling around with a combustion engine and you're just letting normal people drive them around.

00:25:47.000 It's kind of a miracle how cooperative we all are.

00:25:48.000 It is kind of weird.

00:25:50.000 It's kind of weird.

00:25:50.000 But the stakes are so high.

00:25:52.000 I mean, in terms of having to pay for it.

00:25:54.000 I got in enough car accidents in my 20s that I was like, I don't have that kind of money.

00:25:58.000 It's like, it's too much of a hassle.

00:26:00.000 Well, it's just sketchy.

00:26:01.000 You're relying on other people.

00:26:03.000 And every now and then there's one guy that's got to get there on time. 0.98

00:26:05.000 He's fucking cutting in front of everybody. 0.98

00:26:07.000 And you watch him. 0.99

00:26:08.000 You're like, oh, look at this guy in the pickup truck.

00:26:10.000 Jesus Christ.

00:26:11.000 Yeah.

00:26:11.000 I was thinking because, like, you can see so much carnage online now.

00:26:15.000 Like, in my algorithm, I guess, I don't know, enough comedians sent me videos of people getting murdered and shit. 0.99

00:26:20.000 My algorithm is terrible. 1.00

00:26:22.000 It's just like butts and like car accidents and how the Disney castles are made of dicks. 0.99

00:26:31.000 Is that from Tripoli? 0.97

00:26:34.000 Did you know that Tripoli has 12 podcasts?

00:26:37.000 Yeah, at least.

00:26:42.000 I'm going to give birth, oh no.

00:26:44.000 And so, yeah, so Tripoli sends me all this stuff. 1.00

00:26:46.000 But yeah, I mean, the Disney Castle's being made of dicks. 0.99

00:26:48.000 It is a compelling case, but I think it was probably more that they didn't pay their animators, and the animators were like, fuck you guys, we're just going to make the, you know. 0.99

00:26:56.000 I'm not totally aware of that one. 0.90

00:26:58.000 I think, I don't remember it.

00:26:59.000 Let's pull that one up. 0.99

00:27:01.000 Oh, Disney Castle's made of dicks. 0.99

00:27:01.000 Let's go. 0.99

00:27:02.000 Well, there's a lot of wild stuff from the old Disney stuff.

00:27:06.000 You go back in the old, old Disney, you guys should probably bury this.

00:27:11.000 Brutal!

00:27:11.000 I know.

00:27:12.000 You might want to take the obviously Jewish person's nose down a little bit. 1.00

00:27:16.000 There was one where there was a, it was like a big bad wolf one and it used to be a Jewish person. 1.00

00:27:26.000 And then they switch it to a wolf later.

00:27:28.000 Like, what?

00:27:29.000 And it's like cheap.

00:27:30.000 It won't pay the price for the baguette for the Little Red Riding Hood.

00:27:34.000 You're like, what? 0.98

00:27:35.000 I think it's the Little Mermaid, the Spears looking like dicks. 0.96

00:27:41.000 I think they probably just didn't pay their animators. 0.99

00:27:43.000 And the animators were like, all right, we're just going to make everything look like a dick. 0.99

00:27:46.000 Some people do see dicks in everything, though. 0.99

00:27:49.000 It is kind of a Borschach test. 0.97

00:27:50.000 That's a thing, yeah.

00:27:53.000 Maybe I'm one of those people.

00:27:55.000 Then there's also Mickey and Minnie, like one of her bows. 0.99

00:27:59.000 It does kind of look like a dick going right for her mouth. 1.00

00:28:02.000 It feels like a disgruntled employee. 1.00

00:28:04.000 Hmm.

00:28:05.000 What?

00:28:05.000 The video you posted got taken down.

00:28:07.000 I was just going to play that one.

00:28:08.000 Oh, I posted?

00:28:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:10.000 It's been removed.

00:28:10.000 Uh-oh.

00:28:11.000 Which one was that one?

00:28:12.000 About this, on this topic. 0.98

00:28:13.000 On the dicks? 0.97

00:28:14.000 She has a video. 0.89

00:28:14.000 I was just going to use that as an example, but it's been taken down. 0.89

00:28:17.000 They take all my stuff down now.

00:28:18.000 Here's some interesting stuff I just found, though.

00:28:21.000 Marshmallow cannon?

00:28:22.000 What?

00:28:24.000 Hold on.

00:28:25.000 Okay.

00:28:27.000 No.

00:28:30.000 Oh, what?

00:28:32.000 Okay. 1.00

00:28:33.000 That's 100% a dick squirting marshmallows on a little mouse. 1.00

00:28:39.000 It just gizzed all over this mouse. 1.00

00:28:41.000 It's that.

00:28:42.000 It's like...

00:28:43.000 Okay. 1.00

00:28:44.000 That's a dick. 0.99

00:28:45.000 Okay. 1.00

00:28:46.000 That's 100% a dick. 1.00

00:28:48.000 Look at the balls at the bottom of it. 1.00

00:28:50.000 That's not a coincidence. 0.99

00:28:51.000 I didn't even notice the balls. 0.99

00:28:53.000 That is not a coincidence. 1.00

00:28:54.000 That's 100% a dick. 0.97

00:28:56.000 Look up the Minnie and Mickey Mouse. 0.99

00:28:58.000 That one is the one that really kind of put me over the edge.

00:29:01.000 Yeah, that's someone being sneaky and putting in like a little Easter egg.

00:29:04.000 Yeah, they didn't get paid overtime. 1.00

00:29:06.000 That's a dick. 0.98

00:29:08.000 Yeah, and now the animators are trying to unionize. 0.99

00:29:11.000 I'd be shocked if they succeed.

00:29:12.000 They're probably just going to have AI do it.

00:29:14.000 You could also just go to images.

00:29:15.000 The thing is, AI is so good now.

00:29:17.000 Like, these animators are on shaky ground.

00:29:20.000 Yes, correct.

00:29:22.000 What happened with the actor strike?

00:29:24.000 Did they settle that?

00:29:25.000 Is that over?

00:29:25.000 Yeah, they settled it.

00:29:27.000 Oh, do Minnie and Mickey dicks. 1.00

00:29:30.000 Minnie and Mickey Dicks. 0.89

00:29:32.000 Oh, it's right there.

00:29:33.000 Go to the one, two, three, four, like six over on the top.

00:29:35.000 Yeah.

00:29:36.000 One more over, sorry.

00:29:37.000 That one, yeah.

00:29:39.000 Oh, Jesus Christ!

00:29:41.000 That's her dress. 1.00

00:29:42.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:29:43.000 I know. 1.00

00:29:44.000 Okay.

00:29:45.000 It's a little wild.

00:29:46.000 Come on.

00:29:48.000 I mean, maybe...

00:29:49.000 That's insane. 1.00

00:29:50.000 And he's got his hand on her dick. 1.00

00:29:52.000 She's got a giant heart on. 1.00

00:29:54.000 That is 100% a heart on.

00:29:56.000 That doesn't even make sense as a dress.

00:29:58.000 Just going straight into his mouth.

00:29:59.000 Just try to imagine that as a dress.

00:30:01.000 It doesn't even make sense.

00:30:02.000 Yeah, like, where's her arm? 0.66

00:30:03.000 Oh, it's around his neck.

00:30:04.000 Who cares?

00:30:05.000 It doesn't make sense.

00:30:06.000 I know.

00:30:08.000 Where's her right arm? 1.00

00:30:09.000 It's a hard one to defend.

00:30:09.000 Oh, they're both around there.

00:30:11.000 She's hugging him.

00:30:12.000 And that's her shoulder, supposedly.

00:30:14.000 Okay, kind of.

00:30:17.000 Kind of.

00:30:18.000 It's a tough one. 0.99

00:30:19.000 That's a dick. 1.00

00:30:21.000 It's way more of a dick than it is her arm around his shoulder. 1.00

00:30:25.000 You know, if it's one of two things, that looks so much like it. 0.99

00:30:28.000 And his hand's on it.

00:30:29.000 I know.

00:30:30.000 Like he's stroking it.

00:30:30.000 And also the little lines.

00:30:32.000 I don't know.

00:30:33.000 Does she always have a puffy shoulder shirt on like that? 1.00

00:30:35.000 Is that consistent?

00:30:37.000 Not like that.

00:30:39.000 And then it's also like the little ridge on the top.

00:30:42.000 It doesn't feel necessary. 0.99

00:30:44.000 It's a dick. 1.00

00:30:45.000 That's definitely a dick. 1.00

00:30:47.000 Oh no. 1.00

00:30:49.000 That's 100% a dick. 1.00

00:30:50.000 Oh no. 1.00

00:30:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:30:51.000 I'm going to get a dart in my neck any minute. 0.99

00:30:54.000 Disney's going to get us.

00:30:55.000 They're already in trouble. 1.00

00:30:56.000 They fucked up. 1.00

00:30:57.000 They went too far. 1.00

00:30:58.000 You were telling us about the South Park thing.

00:31:00.000 Oh my god, dude.

00:31:01.000 Jamie, have you seen the new South Park?

00:31:02.000 I definitely saw clips of it.

00:31:04.000 It is so funny.

00:31:06.000 First of all, Cartman has been replaced by a black trans woman. 0.70

00:31:13.000 In the ulterior universe or whatever.

00:31:16.000 And the whole thing, really incisive commentary.

00:31:18.000 Obviously, they always do such a good job with this.

00:31:21.000 It's the Pandiverse, which is hilarious.

00:31:23.000 It's such a great name.

00:31:25.000 All the handymen are the richest people.

00:31:29.000 Because no men know how to do anything anymore because they went to college. 1.00

00:31:33.000 So it's all about how college has made us stupid. 0.98

00:31:36.000 And we need handymen to do everything now because we're using Siri and whatever. 0.99

00:31:39.000 So there's the handyman bought Instagram and now is like going to space because he's just a billionaire.

00:31:45.000 And then Cartman is, is it Catherine Kennedy who runs Disney?

00:31:50.000 But ran Lucasfilm and whatever. 0.98

00:31:52.000 And her whole thing is just make it, make it a girl and make her gay. 1.00

00:31:55.000 Make it a girl and make her gay. 1.00

00:31:58.000 For every movie they're bitching. 1.00

00:32:00.000 And she gets, like, served food at a restaurant, and she's like, I told you to make it a girl, make it gay! 1.00

00:32:07.000 It's hilarious. 0.77

00:32:08.000 It's so well done.

00:32:10.000 Yeah, how did that... 0.61

00:32:11.000 How did the people that are that goofy get in control of media like that?

00:32:16.000 I think that, like, there's a really...

00:32:18.000 I think we're going to look back at this time and go, like, remember when we thought 300 comments on Twitter represented everyone?

00:32:26.000 Right.

00:32:28.000 Remember when we had that confirmation, we got scared of a bunch of tweets, half of which might just be bots or truly crazy people?

00:32:36.000 Yeah.

00:32:36.000 You know?

00:32:37.000 I don't know what the statistic is now.

00:32:39.000 Also, people crazy enough to be commenting on things all day.

00:32:41.000 Yeah, good or bad. 1.00

00:32:42.000 The people that I know that are on Twitter all day commenting on stuff, they're mentally ill. 1.00

00:32:46.000 That's right. 1.00

00:32:46.000 The ones I know are mentally ill. 1.00

00:32:49.000 I know they're all fucked up. 1.00

00:32:50.000 I know they're medicated to shit. 1.00

00:32:52.000 And then they're on there freaking themselves out, arguing with people all day. 1.00

00:32:55.000 I think not only are they medicated on whatever they're on, but also I think Twitter is a drug.

00:33:00.000 It's a drug.

00:33:00.000 I mean, you get that hit of self-righteous indignation.

00:33:02.000 It's like the people who write in to complain about their Mr. Goodbar being wrapped weird.

00:33:08.000 You know what I mean?

00:33:08.000 And for actors and people in show business, it's almost like you're testing yourself out, like writing scripts for yourself to be like a hero in this scene.

00:33:19.000 And I think a lot of people need to be heard.

00:33:21.000 I totally get that.

00:33:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:23.000 That's real, too.

00:33:24.000 That's real, too.

00:33:25.000 I mean, there's a real application for it in terms of your ability to communicate about things and learn more about other people's perspectives if you can cultivate a good group of humans.

00:33:35.000 But if you're famous, that's not tenable.

00:33:38.000 There's too many people.

00:33:40.000 If you're dealing with a product like a Disney film.

00:33:44.000 It's just too many people.

00:33:45.000 There's too many people.

00:33:46.000 You're never going to be.

00:33:47.000 And you're just going to encounter what you encounter.

00:33:49.000 It's random.

00:33:50.000 It's not like you're getting the ones from, like, I went to Stanford and asked the psychologist what their opinion on.

00:33:58.000 No, no, no. 0.87

00:33:59.000 You're just getting fucking, you're getting the wildest of wild opinions from who knows how many different groups of people. 0.98

00:34:05.000 And you just, whatever you scroll into, that's what you read. 0.98

00:34:09.000 Do you think there'll be a day where we look back and we go, like, remember when you could just, like, be on Twitter all day?

00:34:14.000 Like, is it going to be the way we are with cigarettes now?

00:34:18.000 Remember, you used to be able to smoke inside.

00:34:20.000 No, because people are just going to keep doing it.

00:34:22.000 Because it doesn't physically feel bad.

00:34:25.000 Even though it is bad.

00:34:26.000 We're really bad at things that don't like burn our fingers.

00:34:31.000 Ouch! 1.00

00:34:32.000 We're really bad at just continuing to do certain things like a Twitter type deal or just any kind of online social interaction is so different than regular human interaction that if you get used to doing it all the time,

00:34:47.000 it kind of like reprograms the way you communicate with people, period.

00:34:52.000 Just like the new normal.

00:34:53.000 Yeah, you see people spill over, like Twitter talks spill over in real life with horrible consequences. 0.99

00:34:59.000 It's like my favorite Mike Tyson quote is the problem with people today is you can talk shit and not get punched in the face. 0.99

00:35:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:35:05.000 And then you see him talk shit in person, it doesn't go so well. 0.99

00:35:07.000 Yeah, that's real. 0.99

00:35:09.000 I mean, you're supposed to have consequences for your behavior. 0.97

00:35:12.000 Like a bunch of my friends that are parents say that like bullies will come in and they'll say the craziest shit just because they've been on Twitter or online or on those video games where you're allowed to like talk shit and then you go into the real world and it's a little different. 0.98

00:35:23.000 Yeah, there's plenty of those videos on my Instagram too. 0.99

00:35:26.000 People getting fucked up. 1.00

00:35:28.000 You know, I was thinking about this because I was like, is it new that we are able to see horrific shit? 1.00

00:35:34.000 Constantly. 1.00

00:35:35.000 Constantly.

00:35:35.000 But I was thinking of like, what are the other collective visual traumas we've had that we've seen?

00:35:41.000 And I was, I'm a little, I kind of missed this a little bit, but I remember hearing about it because I had an older brother.

00:35:45.000 Remember the Challenger explosion?

00:35:48.000 Oh yeah.

00:35:49.000 It makes me, I've been trying to write a joke about it, that they rolled in TVs into classrooms to watch this with the teacher.

00:35:57.000 Remember there was like a teacher on it?

00:35:59.000 And they showed it and everybody just watched this teacher explode in the sky.

00:36:04.000 I remember not knowing exactly what was going on at first.

00:36:07.000 Going, what's happening?

00:36:09.000 Like why is there like so many different like there was like one going this way and one going that way and Then they started talking about oh, no.

00:36:17.000 Oh, no, and then you realize like oh shit that thing blow up Because do you remember watching it at first like it didn't I didn't know exactly what was happening I watched it recently and kind of I remember watching it look on the news when I was really young and not understanding what was going on Can you pull up the Challenger explosion?

00:36:34.000 By the way, that all apparently could have been mitigated. 0.93

00:36:37.000 People knew that there was problems with the O-rings.

00:36:39.000 Really? 0.98

00:36:41.000 You gotta think how many fucking people are involved in those things and how bad the government is at almost everything. 0.99

00:36:48.000 Yep. 0.99

00:36:49.000 Almost everything.

00:36:50.000 They looked for the teacher.

00:36:51.000 It was like this whole thing.

00:36:54.000 Look at this.

00:36:55.000 Okay.

00:36:56.000 Oh, people gathered in theaters.

00:36:59.000 Yeah.

00:37:20.000 To watch that live.

00:37:29.000 He's just dead.

00:37:29.000 What a weird thing we try to do.

00:37:32.000 Fill giant tubes up with combustible liquid and then light an explosion and shoot them up into the fucking sky to get out of Earth's gravity. 0.96

00:37:44.000 Well, it's definitely worked a gang of times. 0.97

00:37:47.000 I know, but it's just like...

00:37:50.000 Look at the amount of power you're dealing with.

00:37:52.000 That's what's so bonkers.

00:37:54.000 The amount of thrust that you need to escape our atmosphere and escape our gravity.

00:37:59.000 It's just so nuts.

00:38:01.000 Boom! 0.99

00:38:03.000 How quick was that?

00:38:05.000 Did they feel it?

00:38:06.000 Nah.

00:38:07.000 They might have.

00:38:08.000 That was my obsession.

00:38:09.000 I watched a video on the implosion of the submarine the other day.

00:38:12.000 Can't get enough.

00:38:15.000 Can't get enough.

00:38:17.000 I can't get enough of this thing. 1.00

00:38:18.000 I love that billionaires now have to do broke shit. 0.99

00:38:22.000 All it makes me think about is gold diggers, because gold diggers now don't even get to do cool stuff anymore. 0.99

00:38:28.000 They used to be like, you go to Monaco, you go to like, you know, we're gonna go to St. Bart's.

00:38:32.000 Now you gotta get a submarine.

00:38:33.000 Now you gotta go look at a bunch of trash at the bottom of the ocean.

00:38:35.000 Who was telling us about people that are paying to go over to Russia?

00:38:41.000 They're paying to go over to Ukraine and fight on the front line.

00:38:45.000 They'll let them shoot guns. 1.00

00:38:48.000 You don't remember someone telling?

00:38:49.000 I don't remember someone telling us.

00:38:51.000 Maybe someone told me off air.

00:38:52.000 Maybe it was a different thing.

00:38:53.000 But they were saying that they know someone who literally paid to go and fight for Ukraine against Russia. 0.99

00:39:02.000 They went and they allowed them to operate guns and shit. 0.99

00:39:07.000 I was like, what is... 1.00

00:39:08.000 This is why I wanted to bring it up, because I'm like, is that a bullshit story? 0.97

00:39:12.000 I feel like Ukraine would let you do it for free. 0.98

00:39:15.000 That's what I'm saying! 0.83

00:39:16.000 But even back then, they're so corrupt. 0.77

00:39:18.000 That is such a corrupt country. 0.91

00:39:20.000 And there's so much shade.

00:39:21.000 My friend, what do you want to do?

00:39:23.000 You have money? 1.00

00:39:24.000 We'll give you a gun to shoot at them. 1.00

00:39:26.000 And then the next thing you know... 1.00

00:39:28.000 Some fucking frat kid whose dad's got an oil baron is over there. 1.00

00:39:34.000 Okay, get me out of here! 1.00

00:39:37.000 He's staying in the sandals, Ukraine, trying to get content for his TikTok.

00:39:40.000 It's just what we need.

00:39:42.000 I think people have done something like that.

00:39:44.000 Didn't, by the way, I think RFK's son went over to fight.

00:39:47.000 RFK's son did go over to fight.

00:39:48.000 I feel like there had to be like a...

00:39:51.000 He didn't tell anyone.

00:39:52.000 He just went over and did it and then came back.

00:39:56.000 Like, he didn't even tell us his dad.

00:39:58.000 Yeah, right, right.

00:39:59.000 His dad didn't...

00:40:00.000 RFK Jr. did not know his son was over there.

00:40:02.000 But you just show up and you're like, hey, I'm on your side?

00:40:04.000 I don't know.

00:40:05.000 I don't know how he applied, but I think he was in some sort of special forces group.

00:40:10.000 There are very rich Ukrainians doing this.

00:40:14.000 I don't know if it's like an American.

00:40:15.000 Okay, maybe that's what it is.

00:40:17.000 Yeah, this article on NPR says there's billionaires that are leading battalions, but they might also have some sort of training or something like that.

00:40:24.000 Oh, but isn't that just like the guy that they blew up?

00:40:28.000 That's on the other side.

00:40:30.000 Right, but he was a billionaire that ran his own army, the Wagner Group, right?

00:40:34.000 Yes, I'm a businessman, and now I'm a commander of a military unit in Ukraine.

00:40:38.000 Like, are you having that much trouble getting chicks as a billionaire?

00:40:41.000 Yeah, but that might be a different thing.

00:40:44.000 That might be a thing where he just felt like he has to take up arms because Russia's invading.

00:40:50.000 I get that, by the way.

00:40:52.000 I do feel like, isn't it...

00:40:54.000 I mean, I text a lot of my friends about this.

00:40:56.000 I'm like, is today the day?

00:40:58.000 Like, is today the day we're all going to war?

00:40:59.000 Like, there is a little bit of...

00:41:01.000 Way more than ever before.

00:41:02.000 Way more than...

00:41:03.000 I mean, I'm looking at bunkers at 2 a.m.

00:41:05.000 I'm kind of...

00:41:06.000 Yeah.

00:41:07.000 I mean, what if draft happens?

00:41:10.000 Can you imagine our 18-year-olds going...

00:41:12.000 TikTok kids getting drafted.

00:41:15.000 Eating Tide Pods going over there, like...

00:41:17.000 Yeah, draft is a real, it would be a real issue with the morale of this country and the suspicion of, like, the government doing unethical things and the trust and whether or not these kids could even survive.

00:41:29.000 Yeah.

00:41:30.000 Just survive boot camp.

00:41:31.000 Yeah.

00:41:32.000 I mean, this is the softest.

00:41:33.000 Just survive filling out the forms saying their gender.

00:41:35.000 This is the softest.

00:41:37.000 The softest generation that's ever existed.

00:41:40.000 It's scary.

00:41:40.000 It's wild how quickly it happened.

00:41:42.000 It really is wild.

00:41:44.000 I mean, if this was engineered by Russia, good job. 1.00

00:41:48.000 They nailed it. 1.00

00:41:48.000 You fucking nailed it. 1.00

00:41:49.000 They nailed it. 1.00

00:41:50.000 Everything that everybody wanted.

00:41:53.000 A complete lack of faith in the government.

00:41:55.000 Whoever put Roundup in the water so that everybody went soft.

00:42:01.000 Yeah, fluoride.

00:42:01.000 Yeah, between the fluoride and the Roundup and all the endocrine disruptors.

00:42:05.000 They did a great job. 0.99

00:42:06.000 They turned us into such pussies. 1.00

00:42:08.000 There's a few people that are out there fighting the good fight and trying to resist, but ultimately they're outnumbered. 0.99

00:42:14.000 I feel like there's a backlash happening.

00:42:17.000 I feel like it's interesting.

00:42:19.000 Being pregnant, I've started getting obsessed with everything you put in your body. 0.87

00:42:24.000 Just the idea of drinking water is a full-time job.

00:42:27.000 Where am I getting my water?

00:42:29.000 I got it because it's either my choices are fluoride or microplastics.

00:42:33.000 I'm not having a baby with a small taint.

00:42:36.000 I'm telling you that right now.

00:42:38.000 Did you ever check yourself for phthalates? 1.00

00:42:41.000 Shit. 1.00

00:42:42.000 No. 1.00

00:42:43.000 No.

00:42:44.000 Where do I do that?

00:42:45.000 Too late.

00:42:46.000 I did the tally age test, the biological age.

00:42:49.000 That's different.

00:42:49.000 Phthalates are microplastic.

00:42:50.000 It's like chemicals that leach out of plastics.

00:42:53.000 I mean, I for sure got them.

00:42:55.000 Well, everybody has them.

00:42:56.000 There's no way I don't.

00:42:57.000 Yeah.

00:42:57.000 There was a study that they did recently that was like, what is it?

00:43:00.000 What was the number?

00:43:00.000 Like 90-something percent of people had phthalates in their body?

00:43:04.000 Something nuts.

00:43:04.000 Also, there's this guy, I don't want to plagiarize his work, Kashif Khan, he wrote that DNA Way book about how their micro, the forever chemicals in women's yoga pants.

00:43:14.000 Oh, right.

00:43:15.000 In the crotch, it's in AstroTurf. 1.00

00:43:18.000 Well, how about fucking baby powder? 0.99

00:43:22.000 We used to put it in our underwear before basketball games. 0.99

00:43:26.000 There's been 50,000 lawsuits.

00:43:28.000 They've paid, I think, over $8 or $9 billion, which is probably nothing to them, but women getting ovarian cancer from the asbestos in it, and then also the minors of the talc.

00:43:39.000 Yes.

00:43:40.000 Yeah, that's what I was reading, that talc and asbestos are often in the same spot, and they don't filter it out well.

00:43:47.000 To what?

00:43:48.000 They don't even test to see if the talc has asbestos in it sometimes. 1.00

00:43:51.000 Johnson& Johnson's gotten away with some wild shit. 0.99

00:43:54.000 Well, that's a wild one. 1.00

00:43:56.000 Did they know?

00:43:57.000 What I want to know is did they know?

00:44:00.000 Did they know that sometimes their talc has asbestos in it and it was just too problematic to sift it out and figure out what's what?

00:44:09.000 What is the deal with that?

00:44:10.000 Find out what's the deal with talc and asbestos?

00:44:12.000 I think the miners definitely complain.

00:44:13.000 My guess is it is a similar trajectory to the...

00:44:16.000 Oh, here it is.

00:44:17.000 Because talc and asbestos are minerals found close together, when talc is mined, it may contain traces of asbestos.

00:44:23.000 Talcum powder is still an ingredient in a number of cosmetic brands.

00:44:26.000 As recently as November of 2020, a study found that 14% of the talc-containing makeup tested contained asbestos.

00:44:34.000 That's wild.

00:44:37.000 Can I tell you, a lot of my girlfriends, when they act insane, I ask a couple questions.

00:44:42.000 Like, what birth control are you on?

00:44:43.000 And what hair products and makeup are you using?

00:44:46.000 Because you're just putting chemicals in.

00:44:48.000 I mean, your skin's your biggest organ, right? 0.99

00:44:50.000 Right.

00:44:50.000 The amount of chemicals women just put on their bodies, in their bodies.

00:44:55.000 They knew for decades that asbestos lurked in its baby powder.

00:44:58.000 Oh my god.

00:44:59.000 Unreal.

00:45:01.000 That's crazy.

00:45:02.000 This is Reuters.

00:45:03.000 I want to say it was in St. Louis, but it was over 50,000 lawsuits.

00:45:07.000 Oh my God, that's so crazy.

00:45:10.000 Johnson& Johnson didn't tell the FDA that it leaves three tests by three different labs.

00:45:13.000 Unreal.

00:45:14.000 From 72 to 75 have found a bestest in his talc.

00:45:17.000 In one case at levels reported as rather high.

00:45:20.000 Who says rather?

00:45:23.000 This is rather in that context.

00:45:26.000 What kind of numbers are we talking about?

00:45:28.000 They were rather high.

00:45:30.000 They were rather high.

00:45:30.000 Also, and then as soon as the Johnson& Johnson vaccine came out, we just flocked.

00:45:35.000 It's like, that's a trusted name.

00:45:37.000 Well, that was the first one they pulled.

00:45:38.000 I did it.

00:45:39.000 Did you do that one?

00:45:40.000 Yeah, who knows what's even in my belly.

00:45:43.000 I'm kind of worried.

00:45:43.000 Let's think on the positive side.

00:45:45.000 How come in comic books, whenever someone gets exposure to radiation, they get superpowers?

00:45:51.000 That's true.

00:45:52.000 I got pregnant at 40. This is a vaccine injury, 100%.

00:45:56.000 Isn't it supposed to be the opposite, though?

00:45:59.000 It's supposed to stop women from... 1.00

00:46:00.000 Yeah, I guess women were having a lot of fertility problems. 1.00

00:46:02.000 And pregnant women that took it, their placentas were hardening. 1.00

00:46:06.000 There was a lot of sketchy stuff happening.

00:46:09.000 Yeah, fertility is going down in a way that's super alarming.

00:46:13.000 Do you think people will be more skeptical of novel medical interventions in the future?

00:46:20.000 Like if something like this comes up in the future, I don't think people will be as quick to line up.

00:46:25.000 I think fear does wild stuff to people.

00:46:28.000 Yeah, but we never had like that much of a reason to distrust the medical establishment as we do now.

00:46:34.000 Yeah.

00:46:34.000 Just like the videos that you could watch of them saying it's 100% effective, it's 80% effective, it's effective against preventing severe hospitalization or death.

00:46:44.000 Yeah.

00:46:45.000 I think that, I mean, at least the people that I know are very suspicious of stuff like that, but the thing that really freaks me out is even natural remedies are starting to be bought up by these corporations.

00:46:55.000 So, you know, Bragg's apple cider vinegar, Bill Gates bought it.

00:46:59.000 Oh, God.

00:47:00.000 Bill Gates now owns one of the few natural healthy tonics we had, and he's putting the apples in it.

00:47:07.000 Oh, the Appeal? 0.95

00:47:08.000 The Appeal, the creepy-ass... 0.97

00:47:10.000 Oh, what is that? 0.97

00:47:12.000 That's like a coating that they spray on the outside of vegetables?

00:47:15.000 It's like some shmegma to keep the apples preserved longer. 0.98

00:47:19.000 Is it just apples?

00:47:20.000 Is he just so obsessed that he didn't invent apple computers?

00:47:24.000 Just poisoning everything apples?

00:47:26.000 He just has to?

00:47:27.000 But yeah, it's like for Costco apples to stay fresher longer.

00:47:31.000 But what is in it?

00:47:32.000 I would love to know.

00:47:34.000 I would love to know. 1.00

00:47:35.000 These motherfuckers, they get stuff out there before anybody's aware that these things are a problem. 1.00

00:47:40.000 And then years later, you're like, what's in it? 1.00

00:47:42.000 Talc asbestos.

00:47:44.000 And then you don't find out until later.

00:47:45.000 So it's like talking about this and just being suspicious about should apples last for four weeks?

00:47:50.000 I feel like Bill needs a hug.

00:47:52.000 Why are you working so hard?

00:47:53.000 Did you see the video of him against trees?

00:47:57.000 What?

00:47:57.000 Look at Bill Gates against trees.

00:48:00.000 Oh, he thinks he should bury all the trees?

00:48:02.000 He's like, I don't plant trees.

00:48:03.000 He doesn't believe in trees.

00:48:06.000 Someone needs to blow this guy.

00:48:08.000 I volunteer his tribute. 0.99

00:48:09.000 I'll jump on this grenade.

00:48:11.000 I don't know what.

00:48:12.000 And then I guess he owns half of the McDonald's potatoes for the french fries.

00:48:18.000 Bill Gates gets real about climate change.

00:48:21.000 Planting trees is complete nonsense, but the end of the oil and gas era is finally in sight.

00:48:28.000 Planting trees is complete nonsense.

00:48:31.000 We don't think planting trees is good?

00:48:33.000 Aren't planting trees, don't they make oxygen?

00:48:35.000 How would it be nonsense to have something that filters carbon dioxide and makes oxygen?

00:48:39.000 I think he's done too much of that appeal.

00:48:41.000 Claims circling that Microsoft founder Bill Gates supports chopping down 70 million acres of trees, but the truth is more complicated.

00:48:49.000 Oh.

00:48:50.000 Oh, is it?

00:48:51.000 What's complicated?

00:48:52.000 Shock.

00:48:53.000 There's a video of him being very glib about it.

00:48:58.000 Yeah.

00:48:58.000 Promoting deforestation.

00:49:00.000 Okay.

00:49:00.000 What?

00:49:01.000 Cool cause.

00:49:02.000 Well, I think he kind of wants to regulate the weather, right?

00:49:04.000 A startup company has a unique concept for the removal of trees to protect California forests.

00:49:10.000 Well, there's something to the removal of dead trees, and that's something that actually Trump talked about when the wildfires were hitting California.

00:49:16.000 He said he was going to cut off their funding if they didn't take care of their forests.

00:49:20.000 Yeah.

00:49:20.000 But I don't think that's what he's saying.

00:49:21.000 No, I don't think that's what he's saying either.

00:49:23.000 I don't think he's saying like...

00:49:24.000 What you're supposed to do is trees die, right?

00:49:27.000 And they die and then they fall and you get deadfall and that stuff dries out and that stuff becomes highly flammable.

00:49:33.000 So if you got a gang...

00:49:35.000 Like there was an issue back a few years ago.

00:49:38.000 There was a thing called the Bark Beetle.

00:49:40.000 Do you remember that?

00:49:42.000 It was up in like...

00:49:44.000 What's that lake?

00:49:47.000 Big Bear.

00:49:47.000 It's like up in that area.

00:49:49.000 It's where all my friends go to relapse.

00:49:52.000 No one goes to Big Bear and comes back so far.

00:49:55.000 Big Bear is a crazy place.

00:49:56.000 It is.

00:49:56.000 So this beetle was consuming the bark of these trees and killing these trees.

00:50:01.000 So you had like, you know, who knows how many thousands and thousands of dead trees that were essentially kindling.

00:50:08.000 And so when a wildfire happened, it just burned right through everything because nobody had ever removed the dead trees.

00:50:15.000 Yeah, you got to do that.

00:50:16.000 And that's the thing about a lot of these forests is that you've got a lot of...

00:50:20.000 But it's also like the amount of resources involved in removing all those dead trees.

00:50:25.000 Who knows how many acres?

00:50:27.000 Yeah.

00:50:27.000 I mean, I live in wildfire land, as you know, in Topanga in California.

00:50:31.000 And I do like voluntary equine evacuation with LAFD. And they would fight for my house because I'm kind of right at sort of the end of like 170 acres, like in a hollow kind of thing.

00:50:43.000 So they would just come in and fight.

00:50:45.000 So they, you know, come over sometimes.

00:50:46.000 And I was talking to one of these firefighters about like, you know, like, oh, the forest fires.

00:50:50.000 And he was like, look, it's gonna get me in some trouble maybe, but he's like, look, most of the fires in California are homeless people.

00:50:56.000 But we can't tell people that or else people would just start taking baseball bats to homeless people constantly, you know?

00:51:02.000 So it's like a lot of it is like fires or smoking or little campfires.

00:51:06.000 Yeah.

00:51:07.000 Campfires.

00:51:08.000 Yeah.

00:51:09.000 Well, if your life is so fucked up that you're, you know, in a fucking tent on the middle of a grassy hillside and you're doing fentanyl, you're probably not so responsible with fire. 0.99

00:51:21.000 You saw, like, the homeless camp wars in Venice where they were just throwing, like, Molotov cocktails at each other to set each other on fire. 0.99

00:51:27.000 I mean, it was the Gaza Strip there for a minute.

00:51:31.000 It's just so nuts that it happened so quick.

00:51:34.000 Again, Russia, good job.

00:51:36.000 You guys nailed it.

00:51:37.000 Whatever you did to our education system, whatever you did to crush our faith in democracy, amazing work.

00:51:45.000 Yeah, and just a testament to how one sick bill will put you out.

00:51:50.000 And people can't afford housing.

00:51:52.000 There's that, but it's mostly mental illness and drug addiction.

00:51:55.000 It's mostly that.

00:51:57.000 There's people that are down on their luck, but those people usually find a way back.

00:52:01.000 It's mental illness, for the most part, and drug addiction. 1.00

00:52:05.000 And also the community that comes from a bunch of people that are also just as fucked up as you. 1.00

00:52:11.000 People like to be around... 1.00

00:52:13.000 If you're a fucking mess, you like to be around other messes. 1.00

00:52:16.000 You don't want to be a mess and be around Jocko. 1.00

00:52:18.000 He's up there getting up at 4.30 in the morning and working out.

00:52:21.000 You want to be a mess around other non-ambitious people that are just laying around.

00:52:27.000 And that's their community.

00:52:28.000 It's pretty wild.

00:52:29.000 In California, you can be homeless.

00:52:31.000 I mean, the homeless people in California, they're not trying.

00:52:33.000 They've got ring lights.

00:52:34.000 They've got cell phones.

00:52:36.000 They're getting their morning sunlight.

00:52:38.000 It's not that cold out.

00:52:39.000 It's not that big a deal.

00:52:40.000 They can get a 24-hour gym membership.

00:52:43.000 They're in shape, too.

00:52:45.000 Dude, they look great.

00:52:47.000 It's that gym membership.

00:52:48.000 They're barefoot.

00:52:49.000 They're grounding in the grass.

00:52:50.000 They're probably healthier than most of us.

00:52:51.000 They're probably living the lives that we're all trying to learn to live from these high performers.

00:52:56.000 But I got my laptop stolen out of my car outside the Improv on Melrose.

00:53:02.000 And this guy, I wasn't going to fight with him about it, but he was ripped.

00:53:06.000 He looked great.

00:53:07.000 He looked like Goggins.

00:53:08.000 He looked great.

00:53:09.000 And it's just kind of a lifestyle at this point.

00:53:12.000 I don't think they're trying to change it.

00:53:13.000 Well, also, if you steal anything that's less than $900, they don't even arrest you.

00:53:18.000 That's right, with the stores and stuff. 1.00

00:53:20.000 This is fucking dumbest shit ever. 1.00

00:53:23.000 And then these mass lootings where these kids organize. 1.00

00:53:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:53:26.000 That's crazy, too.

00:53:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:28.000 This is a complete collapse of society that's happening while we're here.

00:53:34.000 So it's hard to really understand the scope of it unless you could have a go-back-in-time machine and see what those same streets looked like 20 years ago, see what these same stores were like 20 years ago.

00:53:48.000 And then see what's going on now.

00:53:49.000 It's like, whoa.

00:53:50.000 Yep. 1.00

00:53:50.000 This is like a fucking Robocop movie. 1.00

00:53:53.000 That's right. 1.00

00:53:54.000 Something's wrong here.

00:53:55.000 Yeah.

00:53:55.000 Real wrong.

00:53:56.000 Just gangs of people.

00:53:58.000 Yeah.

00:53:58.000 Organizing to steal...

00:54:00.000 And then what do they do?

00:54:00.000 They put on eBay.

00:54:01.000 They just are...

00:54:02.000 Whatever you gotta do, man.

00:54:04.000 I mean, it's like, with what's going on in this country, I'm almost like, good for you guys.

00:54:08.000 Good for you to steal my laptop.

00:54:10.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:54:10.000 That I didn't mind.

00:54:11.000 What are you saying?

00:54:12.000 Some good jokes in there.

00:54:13.000 Good for you.

00:54:14.000 One time Janine Garofalo was on stage and she goes, yeah, I lost my joke notebook in St. Louis.

00:54:23.000 So if you see anyone bombing around town, let me know.

00:54:27.000 There is something when you lose something that has jokes in it, where you're like, I just want that back because I don't want people to see my jokes in progress.

00:54:34.000 How embarrassing.

00:54:34.000 Oh yeah, that's true too.

00:54:35.000 Or just the notes.

00:54:37.000 Yeah.

00:54:37.000 It would be an evidence in a crime.

00:54:41.000 I'm like, I'm definitely going to jail if anybody sees my joke notebook.

00:54:45.000 It would be like one of them physics papers, though, where you're like, I don't know what they're writing.

00:54:49.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:54:49.000 What is this?

00:54:50.000 Those fucking arrows pointing to dicks, and that's arrow pointing to clouds. 0.99

00:54:55.000 I have been kind of writing in a notebook recently jokes, because you get on your computer, and then you get a pop-up bat, and you're like, I'll just research this. 1.00

00:55:04.000 And then you're in a wormhole of Disney dicks for two hours.

00:55:06.000 So I've started writing more, and I've got this joke notebook, and I'm like, God... 0.96

00:55:11.000 But I don't have my name on it or anything anymore.

00:55:12.000 You don't want to lose it.

00:55:13.000 Well, yeah.

00:55:14.000 I mean, it's a portrait of insanity.

00:55:16.000 Do you take photos of each page?

00:55:18.000 I should do that.

00:55:19.000 Yeah.

00:55:20.000 That's really smart.

00:55:21.000 Then you can just open them up, spread them, you can read it.

00:55:24.000 Sometimes I'll do it like in my notes app, like write jokes out and stuff.

00:55:27.000 Yeah.

00:55:27.000 There's some applications that will take written handwriting and convert it into text.

00:55:33.000 That's really smart.

00:55:34.000 I know that Remarkable, that tablet thing does that.

00:55:38.000 It'll do that for you.

00:55:39.000 You ever seen that tablet?

00:55:40.000 No.

00:55:41.000 It's pretty cool.

00:55:42.000 It's a tablet that it looks like a Kindle, so it looks like white paper.

00:55:47.000 And you write on it.

00:55:49.000 With like a pen.

00:55:49.000 With a pen.

00:55:50.000 Stylus?

00:55:50.000 Yeah.

00:55:51.000 And then you get a...

00:55:52.000 With a stylus.

00:55:53.000 Oh, nice.

00:55:54.000 But you have multiple pages.

00:55:57.000 So you write like that, and it looks like paper, but then it'll convert it to text for you, convert it to type font.

00:56:04.000 That's crazy.

00:56:06.000 But the thing is, it's like, you could have a thousand pages in that, easy.

00:56:10.000 And can you erase easy with it?

00:56:12.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:56:13.000 You could have little folders and all sorts of different things with it.

00:56:17.000 I'm kind of like, I don't know, I'm a little old school.

00:56:19.000 I like having a piece of paper and tearing it out before I go on stage and put it in my pocket.

00:56:23.000 I don't know, there's just still a little attachment.

00:56:25.000 Well, they do say that there's something, and I wonder if it would be the same on a tablet, but they do say there's something, when you physically write something down, it's better for your memory.

00:56:35.000 Yep.

00:56:36.000 Part of writing it out is just remembering it, I think, for me.

00:56:39.000 And then I'll say it.

00:56:40.000 I saw Jay-Z somewhere say, if you say something 18 times in a row, you'll remember it, whether that's true or not.

00:56:46.000 That's his process.

00:56:48.000 And then I kind of started doing that.

00:56:49.000 Well, he famously doesn't write his raps down.

00:56:52.000 That's wild.

00:56:52.000 Yeah, he keeps it all in his head.

00:56:54.000 That's insane.

00:56:55.000 It's pretty wild.

00:56:56.000 Pretty genius.

00:56:57.000 But I know a lot of comics who do that.

00:56:58.000 Really?

00:56:59.000 Yeah, there's a lot of comics who don't write at all.

00:57:01.000 That's crazy.

00:57:02.000 They could go on stage and do an hour and a half and it's all in their head.

00:57:06.000 Yeah.

00:57:06.000 I'm trying to get better at that.

00:57:08.000 I'm trying to get better at that.

00:57:09.000 I think there's two—both things are good.

00:57:12.000 I think a lot of those comics probably would be a benefit from writing, too.

00:57:16.000 Yeah.

00:57:16.000 Probably get some extra bits.

00:57:17.000 Yeah. 0.93

00:57:18.000 Like, I'll sometimes, like, it drives me nuts when I'll come—I'll try to come up with stuff on stage or allow myself, but if I don't record it, I'm like, ah, shit.

00:57:24.000 Like, I was so in the moment.

00:57:26.000 Like, I worked so hard to be president, and then I'm like, I don't remember any of it.

00:57:29.000 Did you do Bottom of the Barrel Tuesday night?

00:57:31.000 Dude, I had the best time.

00:57:32.000 I had never done it before.

00:57:34.000 And it was like, I kind of feel like you'll have a better metaphor for this, but it's almost like, you know, doing fat man is like, you know, doing your cardio writing jokes is like, you know, you're, you know, lifting and then bottom of the barrel is like stretching or something like it should should be a part of what you do as a comic.

00:57:53.000 It's good to just be on a tightrope.

00:57:57.000 Yeah.

00:57:57.000 And not having any idea where you're going with things.

00:58:00.000 And then totally going the wrong way and trying to bail yourself out.

00:58:03.000 I got like three things out of it.

00:58:05.000 Yeah.

00:58:05.000 You're just like jumping off a cliff and flying and sort of...

00:58:08.000 Because I think that I get a little bit after I have a special come out, I start going, okay, my next special is going to be about this.

00:58:14.000 And then I kind of like have the tunnel vision about what the theme is going to be.

00:58:17.000 Right.

00:58:18.000 And someone just...

00:58:20.000 Hamas Christmas was literally one of them.

00:58:22.000 It was like to just riff on that.

00:58:23.000 I never would have thought to write about that because I'm like, oh, too touchy, too this.

00:58:27.000 It makes you braver.

00:58:28.000 And it was like a muscle I hadn't flexed in a really long time.

00:58:32.000 It's also a unique situation because the audience knows that you're doing it and you are clearly reaching.

00:58:40.000 You're not preparing at all.

00:58:42.000 You're reaching into this thing.

00:58:43.000 You're pulling out this piece of paper.

00:58:44.000 And there's this moment where you might have something on that.

00:58:47.000 Yeah.

00:58:48.000 You know, like, oh.

00:58:49.000 Yeah.

00:58:51.000 Christmas with the relatives or whatever it is.

00:58:54.000 Yeah, totally.

00:58:55.000 You're like, oh, okay. 1.00

00:58:56.000 And then they get to see this process of you fucking around. 1.00

00:59:00.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:59:00.000 And also I think sometimes you get into this, whether it's feedback from the internet or from other people, when people kind of tell you what kind of comic you are, you're kind of like, oh, that's not a topic I would do. 0.95

00:59:09.000 That's a topic Dilla would do. 0.99

00:59:12.000 And then I'm kind of like, no, I could totally weigh in on that.

00:59:14.000 But I don't only have to talk about relationships or being a woman.

00:59:18.000 Like, oh, that worked.

00:59:19.000 Yeah.

00:59:19.000 And it'll also get you out of whatever might be rigid.

00:59:24.000 This is the worst when you see a comic, they have a theme, and they're kind of rigid with it.

00:59:29.000 And you feel like, oh man, you should be a little more loose.

00:59:33.000 It'd be more fun to watch.

00:59:34.000 You're a little too buttoned down with this thing.

00:59:38.000 Yeah, and it also was like, you know, the topics were so incendiary and wild, you know, to just the permission from the audience, like, go there!

00:59:46.000 Like, go!

00:59:48.000 Don't hold back, don't censor yourself.

00:59:50.000 It was just like, oh, okay, you guys want me to go here, right?

00:59:53.000 It's just this really cool jump.

00:59:56.000 It's also, there's 110 people there.

00:59:59.000 That room is my favorite.

01:00:01.000 It's a great little room.

01:00:02.000 The fact that you made...

01:00:04.000 I mean, I was thinking about this last night when I was like, how does a club that's only, what, two years old?

01:00:08.000 Not even.

01:00:09.000 It's not even a year old.

01:00:10.000 Feel like it has so much history.

01:00:12.000 I know.

01:00:13.000 And like soul.

01:00:14.000 Well, I think it's because of the building.

01:00:15.000 I think there's a reality about buildings.

01:00:19.000 And that's a 1927 theater.

01:00:21.000 And I think there's something about old buildings.

01:00:23.000 I think memories are like legitimately burned into objects.

01:00:28.000 That's fascinating.

01:00:29.000 I think.

01:00:29.000 I'm 90% sure.

01:00:31.000 I think this idea that things don't have something that's akin to consciousness, I think it's arrogant.

01:00:38.000 That building, I know it's like wishful thinking because it's my place and all that jazz, but when we opened it, I felt like it was happy we were there.

01:00:48.000 I felt like even when I looked at it, even when I looked at it, I felt like it was talking to me.

01:00:53.000 Like when I was going through it and like trying to figure out how I could do this and do that, I'm looking around at it.

01:00:58.000 It was like, come on, let's do it.

01:01:02.000 What was that documentary ages ago called What the Bleep Do We Know?

01:01:05.000 Yeah.

01:01:06.000 And remember the particles were in the water and when they were nice to it, the particles changed.

01:01:12.000 And when they were mean to it, I think the particles, you know, there is...

01:01:15.000 Yeah, I don't know if that's real.

01:01:17.000 That guy also ended up in the NXIVM cult, so...

01:01:19.000 Yeah, there was also another person that was talking during that.

01:01:23.000 I think she calls herself Ramtha.

01:01:26.000 And she's channeling like a thousand-year-old alien or something.

01:01:30.000 So like her real name is different.

01:01:33.000 But when she talks, she talks in this wonderful way.

01:01:36.000 And she's channeling. 0.99

01:01:38.000 So there's a lot of wacky shit in that film. 0.99

01:01:43.000 Okay, so they were doing The Secret. 0.99

01:01:44.000 Got it.

01:01:45.000 But there's just this feeling, and it's the way you've decorated the place, the people you've chosen to be there.

01:01:50.000 It feels like home.

01:01:54.000 Yeah.

01:01:55.000 Well, that's what we wanted.

01:01:56.000 We did everything we could to make it as comfortable for comedians as possible and as much fun.

01:02:02.000 And to help promote the art form and help promote up-and-coming artists.

01:02:07.000 That's the big one.

01:02:08.000 It's like...

01:02:09.000 Everyone who works there is a door person.

01:02:11.000 They all audition with their acts.

01:02:13.000 The people that are going up on open mic nights, they have two nights of open mic nights to go up, Monday and Tuesday.

01:02:20.000 Dude, was it Miles?

01:02:23.000 I've seen Miles destroying in the little boy and then the next day I walked in and he was the door guy and I was like, you were the guy I could hardly follow last night?

01:02:33.000 Yeah, it's nice.

01:02:34.000 And I think my biggest concern when you were building it, I was like, what if Joe doesn't like running a business?

01:02:39.000 It's just like a hassle.

01:02:40.000 It's just like a hassle.

01:02:42.000 Having employees and they want to do other things, you know what I mean?

01:02:45.000 But everyone is part of this mission there.

01:02:48.000 Everyone feels like a family.

01:02:49.000 No one feels like they're just there to get some cash.

01:02:53.000 I think everybody realizes it's a very special thing that we've been able to put together.

01:02:58.000 And the fact that the idea to put it together was really just to make...

01:03:02.000 It wasn't like a business idea.

01:03:04.000 Like, this would be a great way to make money.

01:03:06.000 It was the opposite.

01:03:07.000 It's like, I just don't want to lose any money.

01:03:09.000 But let's put together this business.

01:03:12.000 Let's put together this...

01:03:14.000 This center, this one hub where the comedians can just be free, have fun, and feed off of each other and bang joke ideas around with each other in the green room and watch each other do sets from the balcony.

01:03:30.000 Watching you and, I mean, being in the green room and, like, because, I mean, look, sometimes you're kind of in a lot of clubs.

01:03:36.000 You're in a hallway and there's, like, people coming by.

01:03:38.000 And the way that you've, like, really incubated comedians so that they, like, feel safe and feel like, you know, they can be themselves, especially before they go on stage.

01:03:45.000 Like, you know, Ron White came off stage and he had just done this bit.

01:03:49.000 He was trying to explain why it didn't go how he wanted it to go.

01:03:52.000 Yeah.

01:03:54.000 Watching Ron White have a joke not go well for the first time in 30 years was funny to watch.

01:03:59.000 It was funny.

01:03:59.000 It was like, I just bombed for the first time.

01:04:01.000 And his fucking, his complete accepting of the bombing. 1.00

01:04:06.000 I know. 1.00

01:04:06.000 Like the way he was saying, that fucking joke didn't get a single laugh. 1.00

01:04:12.000 They all agreed. 0.99

01:04:13.000 Yeah.

01:04:15.000 And we were trying to tell him, like, I don't understand why you thought that was funny.

01:04:18.000 Well, clearly you were right.

01:04:22.000 He told the joke and Joe goes, yeah, I would have advised you against doing that joke. 0.76

01:04:30.000 But then we came up with alternative ways to do that joke where we're ridiculous.

01:04:33.000 And then you, like, went into this whole other thing and, like, basically I just watched you put a whole chunk together, you know?

01:04:39.000 And, like, we were all just there, like, just supporting each other and kind of, like, writing and everything's, like, you know, that's the best feeling in the world when you're sitting around a bunch of people.

01:04:48.000 You know you can't hurt their feelings.

01:04:49.000 You know you're not walking on eggshells.

01:04:51.000 And you can just...

01:04:53.000 And you know you're around a place of love.

01:04:56.000 That's it.

01:04:57.000 That's it.

01:04:58.000 And just go for it.

01:05:00.000 There's no tension in that room.

01:05:02.000 Zero.

01:05:02.000 Everybody's smiling.

01:05:04.000 Zero.

01:05:04.000 We're so lucky.

01:05:05.000 The best.

01:05:05.000 I feel so lucky sometimes.

01:05:08.000 I look forward to it so much.

01:05:09.000 It's like medicine.

01:05:11.000 When I'm not there for a few weeks and then I come back to town and I'm hanging out in the green room again, everybody's like, hey!

01:05:17.000 You built this thing though and there's also it made me realize like you have to be around the absence of something to realize there was a presence of something else that became so normal is there's an absence of predatory energy.

01:05:29.000 I know that might sound weird but like the comics the For whatever reason.

01:05:34.000 Nobody's trying to get something from you.

01:05:35.000 No one's trying to get you on their podcast.

01:05:36.000 Right.

01:05:36.000 No one's kind of just trying to get near you.

01:05:38.000 No one's trying to get a picture with you.

01:05:39.000 There's just this agreement.

01:05:40.000 We're just here to get better.

01:05:42.000 Yeah.

01:05:42.000 And we're a family in here, and we're not trying to do anything except get better at comedy.

01:05:48.000 Right.

01:05:48.000 There's always that weird moment where someone weasels into your conversation at the store, and you don't know who that person is.

01:05:54.000 And they're, hey, I'd love to talk to you about this project.

01:05:56.000 And you're like, ugh.

01:05:58.000 Or there's just a feeling of, like, this feels like work.

01:06:01.000 Right.

01:06:01.000 For some reason we're just faking this.

01:06:03.000 It's also the Hollywood environment, too, because everybody kind of has that attitude all day long.

01:06:08.000 How can you help me?

01:06:09.000 How can you...

01:06:10.000 It's a transactionary existence, and these people are always looking to make these transactions.

01:06:15.000 That's right.

01:06:15.000 And move up the social ladder.

01:06:18.000 There was also a really cool thing the last couple nights.

01:06:20.000 I went up in the Little Boy both nights and talked to a couple people in the audience.

01:06:26.000 There were like four people each night that were in from Australia just to come to the mothership.

01:06:31.000 Wow.

01:06:32.000 They came just to come for the week to come to all the shows.

01:06:35.000 There was another guy, one of the guys that came from Australia, he did a road trip in America.

01:06:39.000 And I was like, oh, what's your trip?

01:06:41.000 And he was like, I went to Austin, Ohio, and New York.

01:06:44.000 Wow.

01:06:45.000 That's America.

01:06:46.000 That's pretty much America.

01:06:48.000 There was no...

01:06:49.000 Depends on what part of Ohio.

01:06:51.000 It was like a family thing or something like that.

01:06:53.000 But no Disneyland in Florida, no Universal Studios in LA. It was just Austin, Ohio, New York.

01:07:00.000 I thought that was really cool.

01:07:01.000 It must be wild to go from one country.

01:07:04.000 If you've never been to America and you see that it's basically Europe.

01:07:08.000 There's different countries here.

01:07:09.000 Every state feels like a different country.

01:07:11.000 It's a different country.

01:07:12.000 New York is such a different country than Texas.

01:07:15.000 LA, California is so different than Texas.

01:07:18.000 LA is also so different.

01:07:20.000 LA feels like a weird simulation now.

01:07:24.000 When's the last time you were on Sunset Boulevard?

01:07:26.000 It's been a few months, but the last time I was there, I was like, Jesus, this is weird.

01:07:30.000 It feels different.

01:07:31.000 House of Blues is gone.

01:07:33.000 It feels like it could fall apart at any minute.

01:07:35.000 It feels like something could go sideways at any minute, and no one's going to stop it.

01:07:40.000 And it's just reliant upon the good nature of people.

01:07:43.000 It just doesn't seem like people have as much restraint anymore.

01:07:47.000 People are more desperate.

01:07:48.000 There's more tension and anger.

01:07:51.000 I mean, so many people lost everything during those two years.

01:07:54.000 That's right.

01:07:55.000 So many people.

01:07:56.000 That's right.

01:07:57.000 So many people.

01:07:58.000 And then the business that was somewhat functioning, you know, Hollywood, didn't work for two.

01:08:03.000 And then, I mean, because people think about Hollywood and they think about the annoying actors and the, you know, writers and the producers and the directors.

01:08:08.000 But it's mostly crew guys.

01:08:10.000 It's mostly the electric guys, the camera guys.

01:08:13.000 They're making $100 a day max and they live out in Santa Clarita.

01:08:16.000 Like, those are the ones that just truly will never come back. 0.99

01:08:19.000 Right, and then this last strike put another fucking nail in that. 0.99

01:08:23.000 That's right. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Both strikes.

01:08:25.000 Could not be in production for four years, basically.

01:08:27.000 I mean, the city's been disemboweled.

01:08:30.000 Yeah, they were talking about just how much the strike cost Los Angeles.

01:08:34.000 Just the strike.

01:08:35.000 It's billions.

01:08:36.000 Yep.

01:08:37.000 And a lot of production, actually, get ready.

01:08:39.000 You left Hollywood, tried to escape, and it's coming to Austin.

01:08:42.000 Is it really?

01:08:43.000 They're doing a lot of, like, the film tax credit thing.

01:08:46.000 I think Bastrop...

01:08:49.000 Which, by the way, is awesome.

01:08:50.000 Have you been out to Bastrop?

01:08:51.000 Yeah, it's beautiful.

01:08:52.000 Ryan Holiday has his podcast out there.

01:08:55.000 He bought a bookstore.

01:08:56.000 It looks like Mayberry.

01:08:57.000 It's like this strip of a saloon and a bookstore.

01:09:01.000 It's so cute.

01:09:03.000 But Bastrop did...

01:09:04.000 I don't remember what the TV show was called that shot that had Elizabeth Olsen in. 0.98

01:09:07.000 It's supposed to be really good.

01:09:09.000 And there's a couple other towns that are building studios out here.

01:09:13.000 Uh-uh.

01:09:13.000 I know.

01:09:14.000 Sorry.

01:09:15.000 Coming to get you.

01:09:17.000 They'll come.

01:09:18.000 Yeah, they'll ruin it.

01:09:20.000 But I don't think they'll ever turn it into Hollywood.

01:09:23.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:09:23.000 What that thing was was a place that was created essentially when they realized that it never rains.

01:09:30.000 They said, oh, we can film here all the time.

01:09:32.000 And so they just started moving everything out there.

01:09:34.000 And Johnny Carson moved out there.

01:09:36.000 And all these different things happened.

01:09:38.000 And they're doing all these movies.

01:09:40.000 And then the people that wanted to be famous moved out there, too.

01:09:43.000 And even if they didn't, Make it in show business.

01:09:46.000 They became dentists.

01:09:47.000 They became doctors.

01:09:48.000 They became those people populated the area.

01:09:52.000 So there's like an ethic, like a way of thinking in that area that would prioritize fame above everything.

01:09:59.000 And everyone that has other jobs there, they're just trying to get a reality show about their job.

01:10:03.000 That's true, too.

01:10:04.000 So I had a shoulder injury, and I got this massage person to come help stretch it out, whatever.

01:10:12.000 And third or fourth session he comes, he's like, hey, I'm shooting a sizzle reel for what it's like to be a celebrity masseuse.

01:10:17.000 Will you be on it?

01:10:18.000 I'm like, what?

01:10:19.000 Can you just...

01:10:20.000 I had a personal trainer who got a show at Netflix about being a trainer.

01:10:23.000 I'm like, can anyone just do what they do without the end goal actually trying to be famous?

01:10:27.000 Well, how about I'm a celebrity masseuse?

01:10:29.000 Can I get a sizzle reel?

01:10:31.000 No. 1.00

01:10:32.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:10:33.000 I don't know how to break it to you. 1.00

01:10:35.000 You get famous for giving back rubs?

01:10:37.000 Like, what are you talking about?

01:10:38.000 Truly.

01:10:39.000 A celebrity masseuse.

01:10:40.000 I know.

01:10:41.000 It's just everybody's trying to get famous, and whatever vocation they're doing is just to try to get famous.

01:10:46.000 I want to be a famous interior designer.

01:10:48.000 I want to be a famous dentist.

01:10:49.000 I want to be a Hollywood designer.

01:10:50.000 But also, if you want to be more successful and get more clients, that is the way to do it.

01:10:55.000 I mean, if you're utilizing social media...

01:10:58.000 If you're a trainer and you look awesome, you're going to get a lot of clients on social media just from that.

01:11:03.000 It's actually a good marketing move, but it also has that gravity of possible YouTube slash TikTok slash whatever fame, and then you say, okay, I can make a living off of this.

01:11:15.000 There's just a, you know, I don't know.

01:11:17.000 I think for me, it's like, what we do is like, you know, I was talking to one of your guys up front, and, you know, being a comedian, it's weird, because it's like, there's a point where you go, like, now that I'm having a kid, and I'm kind of like, oh, you can't undo fame.

01:11:30.000 Like, you can't undo that.

01:11:32.000 And I remember...

01:11:34.000 You can fade away.

01:11:35.000 You can fade away.

01:11:36.000 You can become irrelevant, for sure.

01:11:37.000 Yeah.

01:11:38.000 But especially at this day and age, you have to fight so hard to probably stay famous.

01:11:41.000 But it's kind of like it's one of those things I remember Bill Murray said one time, someone asked him, like, do you hate being famous or something?

01:11:50.000 And he goes, what I would say to people that want to be famous is try getting rich and see if you still need to get famous.

01:11:55.000 Which I kind of liked.

01:11:57.000 Because sometimes you're like, no, I just want to be able to pay my bills.

01:11:59.000 But as a comic, I remember thinking, like, no, you have to get famous for people to buy tickets.

01:12:04.000 There's no way otherwise.

01:12:06.000 Like, I've got to get a sitcom so people know me, and then they're going to come see me do stand-up.

01:12:10.000 I was just talking to Bert, and he ran into a group of comedians that aren't doing so well and aren't selling tickets on the road.

01:12:17.000 And they were asking to go with him and this and that.

01:12:19.000 And he's like, oh, Jesus.

01:12:21.000 Like...

01:12:22.000 It's not easy for everybody. 0.99

01:12:23.000 There's some people that, for whatever reason, they never marketed themselves very well, they never got the attention they felt like they should have deserved, and now they're in their 50s, and they can't sell out a club, and they're fucked. 0.83

01:12:36.000 And they can't make a living, so they're not paying their rent. 0.95

01:12:40.000 It's like, it's not good.

01:12:42.000 Yeah, I mean, it's a tricky one.

01:12:44.000 And, like, not to, like, plug the special coming out.

01:12:47.000 I know you and Matt Reif talked about OFTV. It's OnlyFans, the TV section, where I'm doing their first special.

01:12:53.000 But they're doing, remember, like, Live at Gotham?

01:12:56.000 Remember there was, like, Evening at the Improv.

01:12:58.000 There used to be specials for comics that couldn't get the Netflix special, couldn't necessarily do the hour.

01:13:03.000 If you were maybe, like, a, quote, middle-class comedian, you could at least get screen time or get a good tape.

01:13:09.000 You could go on Fountain or whatever.

01:13:10.000 You could headline it on a road club.

01:13:12.000 That doesn't exist anymore.

01:13:14.000 So it's cool that they're actually doing that so that comics that can't necessarily get the hour special or sell out clubs can at least get some kind of TV exposure.

01:13:22.000 Because Comedy Central is just like a square space at this point.

01:13:26.000 It's just like a plug-in.

01:13:27.000 I don't even know how to get it.

01:13:29.000 Yeah.

01:13:30.000 Isn't it quickly how that dropped off from relevancy?

01:13:34.000 Wild.

01:13:34.000 It used to be the most important thing to get on.

01:13:36.000 And that was just 10 years ago.

01:13:39.000 2013. That was 10 years ago.

01:13:41.000 It was very important to get on Comedy Central.

01:13:43.000 Like, oh my god, they had South Park, they had this, they had that.

01:13:46.000 Chappelle Show. 1.00

01:13:48.000 I mean, fuck. 1.00

01:13:49.000 And you could have a set from Live at Gotham. 1.00

01:13:52.000 You could have your half-hour premium blend.

01:13:53.000 They'd put it on the improv website and you would, you know, sell out a couple nights.

01:13:57.000 Yeah.

01:13:58.000 And then you could do local radio.

01:13:59.000 Yeah.

01:13:59.000 Which doesn't really exist anymore.

01:14:01.000 Doesn't exist anymore either.

01:14:01.000 Yeah.

01:14:02.000 You remember you would go in early to Chicago to do Man Cow or whatever.

01:14:06.000 Whatever, yeah.

01:14:08.000 Yeah, I used to enjoy those.

01:14:10.000 And that's one of the reasons why I started doing a podcast.

01:14:12.000 I used to think, boy, I would love to do a radio show. 0.97

01:14:15.000 But who the fuck is going to pay me to do a radio show? 0.98

01:14:18.000 I'm like, I'd ruin it. 1.00

01:14:19.000 I'd say something stupid. 0.99

01:14:20.000 You know, it wouldn't work. 1.00

01:14:23.000 You'd have to take notes.

01:14:24.000 You'd have to.

01:14:25.000 Yeah.

01:14:25.000 Well, I'd have to show up.

01:14:26.000 I couldn't swear.

01:14:27.000 You know, that's the weird thing.

01:14:31.000 You think about the rulings that they had on radio and how there's none on the internet.

01:14:37.000 That is crazy to think on the radio.

01:14:40.000 Yeah, you're at 5 a.m. 1.00

01:14:41.000 Yeah, if you said shit, you were in trouble. 1.00

01:14:44.000 If you said fuck, the radio station would get fined. 1.00

01:14:48.000 Like, they could get fined hundreds of thousands of dollars. 1.00

01:14:51.000 Like, the Stern things that happened during the Bush administration, like, people forget, but there was no internet.

01:14:59.000 There was just Stern. 0.99

01:15:00.000 And he was the only one like that, that was just this wild boy on the radio in the morning, and everybody tuned in to see what the fuck is he gonna say. 0.96

01:15:09.000 And during the Bush administration, because he was pretty critical of the Bush administration, they went after him. 0.97

01:15:16.000 And they fined his radio station.

01:15:18.000 I think they fined the company somewhere in the millions.

01:15:23.000 But don't you think that the more they fined him, it's kind of like the more when they try to cancel comedians, the more successful they get.

01:15:29.000 It's like he just got more and more impressed.

01:15:30.000 Well, he was already huge.

01:15:31.000 Yeah.

01:15:32.000 But I think it was very touch and go for freedom of speech.

01:15:35.000 Because they were just making these claims about certain things being obscene.

01:15:41.000 But meanwhile, that is...

01:15:43.000 I mean, there were porn stars queefing on... 0.98

01:15:45.000 Yeah, normal stuff.

01:15:47.000 Online now, that's nothing. 1.00

01:15:50.000 No one's trying to shut down Instagram, but I watched two people get murdered this morning while I was taking a shit. 0.99

01:15:55.000 Two different people. 0.97

01:15:57.000 But I feel like YouTube is starting to age restrict.

01:16:00.000 And I've got a couple things for my podcast, Age Restricted, because we said porn star. 0.75

01:16:06.000 People are saying corn star now, which seems way dirtier.

01:16:11.000 To trick the algorithm.

01:16:13.000 And vaccine, you can't even say the jab anymore.

01:16:15.000 I don't know.

01:16:16.000 I think Russell Brand figured out something to say.

01:16:18.000 If you say vaccine, they'll...

01:16:20.000 Special sauce.

01:16:21.000 Yeah, they'll demonetize you or they'll other special sauce.

01:16:24.000 Yeah, because they do use it.

01:16:25.000 They use some sort of machine learning that picks up.

01:16:29.000 It's not like an individual reviews every single podcast.

01:16:32.000 Right, right.

01:16:33.000 But you can ask for a review if they decide that it's demonetized.

01:16:37.000 But they also kind of weaponize that.

01:16:39.000 It seems like that demonetization is a strategy to make you self-censor.

01:16:43.000 Yep.

01:16:43.000 100%.

01:16:44.000 For sure.

01:16:44.000 And age restricting.

01:16:45.000 Like to put in your age and all that is such a hassle. 0.75

01:16:48.000 But I know that I think me, Theo, Santino, Bobby, we all, we bleep the first 10 minutes of Curse Words.

01:16:55.000 Interesting.

01:16:56.000 You kind of have to.

01:16:57.000 When we left YouTube, when we announced that we were going over to Spotify, one of the first things that happened is YouTube stopped demonetizing us.

01:17:07.000 Completely.

01:17:07.000 They just said, okay, well, he's not going to be here for very much longer.

01:17:10.000 He's only here for three more months.

01:17:11.000 Let's make all the money. 0.55

01:17:13.000 We didn't get, right?

01:17:14.000 Wasn't that the case?

01:17:14.000 Did we get any demonetized once we made this switch?

01:17:17.000 That's what it seemed like happened, but no one officially said that or did that or anything like that.

01:17:22.000 What a diplomatic answer.

01:17:23.000 Good job.

01:17:24.000 And they're trying to say it's to protect kids, which I'm all about protecting kids, but doesn't YouTube have their own kids channel, KidsTube or something? 0.99

01:17:31.000 Yeah, the thing is, like, people don't pay attention to what the fucking kids are watching. 0.99

01:17:35.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:35.000 So it's like we're doing the job of the parents. 0.99

01:17:37.000 That's right.

01:17:38.000 Do you remember when the YouTube had that problem because there was cartoons that seemed like regular kid cartoons but then they would get like really violent and like Mickey Mouse would get super drunk and hit people over the head with bottles?

01:17:50.000 Do you know that, I mean, half of porn now is like Shrek getting blown by Elsa from Frozen.

01:17:57.000 Really? 0.92

01:17:58.000 Yes.

01:17:59.000 But also we grew up on like Ren and Stimpy and like Beavis and Butthead. 1.00

01:18:03.000 I mean that shit was bonkers. 1.00

01:18:05.000 Wild. 1.00

01:18:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:06.000 But did you, were you aware of that whole trend where there was this like, so like say if a kid was watching YouTube and you're watching some cartoons, these people who made these cartoons, and I think they've rooted out a lot of them and got rid of them.

01:18:20.000 But these people that made these cartoons, they would figure out a way to get into that algorithm so that the kids, it would just play the next video, and then play the next video, and then they would play one of these.

01:18:31.000 And one of these videos, it was always weird.

01:18:33.000 It's like someone would always get drunk, someone would fall down, break their head open, there would be blood everywhere.

01:18:38.000 It was really weird.

01:18:39.000 Is it people trying to psychologically harm kids, or is it just an accident?

01:18:45.000 I don't know what they were doing, but they were cartoons that seemed to be regular kids' cartoons, but they would follow a very specific pattern. 0.99

01:18:53.000 There was always a broken bottle, there was always a lot of blood, but it was like Mickey Mouse and fucking Goofy and shit. 0.98

01:18:59.000 For instance, this is not a well-known one, I just picked one, but this is a bunch of known characters doing a bunch of weird shit. 0.99

01:19:08.000 Yeah, but this is like live action. 0.77

01:19:11.000 It's just what some of them were, 100%.

01:19:12.000 Right.

01:19:13.000 This channel has 700,000 followers.

01:19:16.000 But what's the...

01:19:18.000 6.7 million views on this video.

01:19:21.000 What?

01:19:22.000 It would fall into the...

01:19:23.000 Honestly, it's just algorithm.

01:19:24.000 They were manipulating the algorithm.

01:19:26.000 They're just trying to benefit off the algorithm.

01:19:27.000 Anything that would click off of a kid watching Frozen or Elsa or Spider-Man or the Joker or anything, and it would just hope that one of these would eventually fall in there.

01:19:34.000 So they're baiting kids with the iconic characters.

01:19:36.000 Because kids are just watching it all day long.

01:19:38.000 The amount of times the kids would watch Disney Channel or Nickelodeon, it's kind of all gone away.

01:19:41.000 And if you're 8, you want to watch Elsa from Frozen.

01:19:42.000 Sure, they don't know what it... 0.99

01:19:43.000 But this doesn't seem as fucked up. 0.98

01:19:46.000 100% this was, but it just started, people started getting crazier with it and crazier with it and crazier with it. 0.97

01:19:50.000 Then you would find some weird, I think people were making claims that there was then like child porn stuff was getting mixed in here.

01:19:58.000 Not fully on YouTube, but it was definitely, there were videos crossing a line.

01:20:02.000 I have friends that used to...

01:20:03.000 I almost did this when I was struggling for money back in the day.

01:20:06.000 You put up football games or clips from football games up.

01:20:10.000 You know they're going to get taken down, but you can get quick 50,000 views or something.

01:20:15.000 You know what I mean?

01:20:15.000 Just like NFL. They're going to take it down, but it's enough to get a check.

01:20:19.000 I think they catch it faster, but that feels like what that is too, right?

01:20:22.000 It's definitely a strategy.

01:20:24.000 It's just people...

01:20:24.000 You can sit at home and find a way to get money off of this system because there's so many holes in it.

01:20:28.000 Because you know it's just going to pop up in a kid.

01:20:30.000 It's going to say suggested for you.

01:20:31.000 The kid's going to click on it and you're going to get paid.

01:20:34.000 Jamie, what were those cartoons?

01:20:35.000 Have they rooted out all those cartoons?

01:20:37.000 Are they gone?

01:20:38.000 I mean...

01:20:38.000 You know what I'm talking about, right?

01:20:39.000 Remember those?

01:20:40.000 Look, I just clicked on a different one.

01:20:42.000 Look at the screen.

01:20:42.000 Right below it is the Elsa Spider-Man cartoon thing.

01:20:46.000 Cartoon hookups.

01:20:47.000 There you go.

01:20:47.000 This is 600,000 people on this channel.

01:20:50.000 This has a million views seven years ago.

01:20:52.000 It's all just finding holes to get into this.

01:20:55.000 Elsa and Spider-Man have sex. 1.00

01:20:56.000 Look at Elsa's titties bouncing. 1.00

01:20:58.000 Okay, her tits should not look like that. 1.00

01:20:59.000 They're bouncing a lot. 0.98

01:21:00.000 I see the whiskey in the corner.

01:21:02.000 Batman's sad.

01:21:03.000 Uh-oh, Batman in blackface, offensive.

01:21:06.000 This is easier to make than the live-action one because one person can make this instead of you needing seven actors to get together for a day.

01:21:11.000 But like some kid in Pensacola made this.

01:21:13.000 Most likely.

01:21:14.000 I mean, I don't know for sure.

01:21:15.000 But the weird ones were kids cartoons that were cartoons like Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse.

01:21:22.000 You remember what I'm talking about?

01:21:23.000 Which were already pretty violent to begin with.

01:21:25.000 This is just an extension of this.

01:21:26.000 This was a very deep network of all sorts of weird stuff.

01:21:28.000 A lot of those are probably now taken down.

01:21:30.000 This was six or seven years ago.

01:21:31.000 I'm sure they've done some work to get rid of that.

01:21:33.000 Just see if you can find any of those old cartoons because they were so weird.

01:21:37.000 It didn't make sense.

01:21:39.000 Like, I'm surprised that they don't have more parental controls on YouTube.

01:21:44.000 Not that I'm advocating for it, but it must be a nightmare to be a parent.

01:21:47.000 Well, just think about the sheer number of people that are posting things every minute of every day all over the world.

01:21:53.000 I mean, the volume.

01:21:54.000 There's an article from 2017, what is going on?

01:21:57.000 Spider-Man and Elsa have taken over YouTube and it's confusing.

01:21:59.000 Yeah.

01:22:00.000 Yeah, if you're a kid and you just watched Spider-Man, you're just going to Google it all day.

01:22:03.000 The videos are gone, though.

01:22:05.000 This is going to be the thing.

01:22:05.000 But this kind of makes more sense to me because it's like those two things were very popular at the time.

01:22:11.000 There you go.

01:22:12.000 It said having them get buried alive.

01:22:14.000 There's an ungodly nightmare depicting everything from characters being buried alive to peeing on each other.

01:22:19.000 What? 0.99

01:22:20.000 Sick! 0.92

01:22:21.000 See, these videos are all gone. 0.77

01:22:23.000 Oh, the videos are removed.

01:22:25.000 They've definitely probably created a team to get rid of them.

01:22:27.000 This created such a problem for them six, seven years ago.

01:22:30.000 That makes sense.

01:22:31.000 This is part of an adpocalypse.

01:22:33.000 Adpocalypse 2, I think, is what happened with this.

01:22:35.000 Adpocalypse 1 was a whole different thing.

01:22:37.000 Same reason they're in adult ones.

01:22:38.000 It keeps them glued to the screen.

01:22:40.000 Yeah.

01:22:40.000 It's just praying on kids.

01:22:42.000 The whole thing is very strange.

01:22:44.000 Ooh! 0.96

01:22:44.000 But it's also, that's what happens when you have these platforms where anybody can post anything. 0.96

01:22:50.000 And then people try to figure out a way to manipulate it, what's the best way to get people to pay attention to your stuff.

01:22:55.000 So the people that work there are constantly just whack-a-mole trying to get the toxic stuff down.

01:23:00.000 Look at how many people are doing these prank videos.

01:23:02.000 They go up to people and prank them just to try to get reactions.

01:23:06.000 People getting shot.

01:23:07.000 See that guy that got shot in the mall?

01:23:09.000 No. 1.00

01:23:09.000 Some guy wouldn't stop fucking with this dude and the guy just pulls out a gun and shoots him. 1.00

01:23:13.000 Yes, I did see that. 0.99

01:23:14.000 I was going to say, mall seems like the most dangerous place to be at this point.

01:23:17.000 Remember when we just walk around malls for five hours as teenagers with no money?

01:23:22.000 Yeah, malls were like the playground for teenagers.

01:23:24.000 Now it's just smashing crabs, people getting shot.

01:23:27.000 I've showed you this before, but it's gotten way worse on Twitch, which is supposed to be for video games, you know, like watch people play video games, maybe talk and do some interviews or podcasts.

01:23:37.000 They expanded it into this area now called Pools, Hot Tubs, and Beaches.

01:23:41.000 And as you can see, it's just mostly 100% girls just sitting at a pool, hot tub, or beach, mostly naked. 0.99

01:23:49.000 Mostly on their knees.

01:23:50.000 And most of this I've found out after watching it for a little bit and doing some research.

01:23:54.000 They're just leading to their OnlyFans account.

01:23:57.000 Look at this one.

01:23:57.000 Yoga workout time.

01:23:59.000 Look at the pose.

01:24:00.000 Yeah, I'm doing yoga.

01:24:02.000 I don't think that's yoga. 1.00

01:24:04.000 Look at my ass. 1.00

01:24:05.000 It's yoga. 1.00

01:24:06.000 There's body painting that goes on where they're literally just all about butt naked with a little bit of paint covering the proper nipple areola area. 0.99

01:24:14.000 There's a lot of gals that are making a living doing this stuff these days. 1.00

01:24:17.000 Yep.

01:24:18.000 Like, way more than ever before.

01:24:21.000 I mean, the pandemic...

01:24:23.000 Hey, it beats working at Walgreens.

01:24:25.000 The pandemic is when it really hit hard, you know?

01:24:30.000 I mean, I can't say if I was 22. If I was 22...

01:24:34.000 If I was 22?

01:24:35.000 I don't know what I would have thought.

01:24:37.000 I don't know what I would have done.

01:24:38.000 I'd be out there doing yoga in my underwear if that's all I had to do.

01:24:42.000 If OnlyFans was around when I was 22, I don't know if I wouldn't be doing yoga wrapped in ropes.

01:24:48.000 The thing is, if you get in that...

01:24:51.000 There's two arguments, right?

01:24:52.000 If you get in that ecosystem...

01:24:55.000 And that's what you do for money now, and you start making a lot of money.

01:24:58.000 You're going to get very accustomed to making a lot of money.

01:25:01.000 So if an office job comes up in the field of your choice, and then they have to go, hey Whitney, can you come in the office?

01:25:07.000 Nope.

01:25:07.000 We just discovered your Twitch underwear page.

01:25:11.000 Tricky.

01:25:12.000 And what's going on here?

01:25:15.000 Yep.

01:25:15.000 You represent this company, and we sell air conditioning units.

01:25:19.000 Right.

01:25:19.000 It's like, you can't be.

01:25:20.000 And you might literally not be able to get a regular job anymore.

01:25:24.000 That's probably true.

01:25:25.000 It's a...

01:25:27.000 But then here's the other thing.

01:25:28.000 If you do get a regular job, what are you doing it for?

01:25:30.000 You're doing it for money, right?

01:25:31.000 Right. 1.00

01:25:31.000 Can't you make way more money showing your asshole? 1.00

01:25:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:35.000 I mean, the heartening thing, actually, about OnlyFans is a lot of it is, like, women breastfeeding. 1.00

01:25:41.000 Oh, boy.

01:25:42.000 That's taken over instantly.

01:25:43.000 Imagine if you could have an image.

01:25:45.000 That's a big one.

01:25:46.000 You know how you could see likes and views? 0.99

01:25:48.000 What if there was an image of every guy jerking off to you breastfeeding? 0.89

01:25:51.000 Just, like, you could just pop up into a window and see, like, a thousand squares, like... 0.98

01:25:56.000 What?

01:25:57.000 Yeah, I mean, it's kind of...

01:25:58.000 There's something wholesome about it.

01:26:00.000 And also, it feels like there's this, I don't know, at least on OnlyFans, what I've seen...

01:26:04.000 Because also, I have an OnlyFans account that's just for jokes.

01:26:08.000 So instead of dirty photos and dirty videos, it's just dirty jokes.

01:26:11.000 A lot of, like, comics are starting to make money on there.

01:26:13.000 Just put your jokes on there that you'll get canceled for saying it on Twitter.

01:26:16.000 It's kind of like Patreon or whatever.

01:26:18.000 Right.

01:26:18.000 Because there's a lot of people that are, like, influencers and...

01:26:21.000 Chefs and stuff like that on OnlyFans now making money on there the way you would on Patreon.

01:26:26.000 But it's interesting because remember like porn?

01:26:28.000 You used to develop a relationship with one porn star.

01:26:31.000 Like there's a lot of guys that kind of want to be monogamous with their person.

01:26:36.000 And that's part of the reason these women are making so much money. 1.00

01:26:38.000 They get tips.

01:26:39.000 They have like Angela White. 0.92

01:26:42.000 She came on my podcast.

01:26:43.000 Her biggest moneymaker is DMing with men and sending them customized videos. 0.99

01:26:48.000 Men want to be shrunk. 0.98

01:26:50.000 And for her to put them in her pocket.

01:26:53.000 And she just sends a video of her putting the man in her pocket.

01:26:59.000 Is that a Remember that lit video with Pamela Anderson when we were younger?

01:27:02.000 Is that some weird fantasy back to that?

01:27:04.000 Maybe.

01:27:05.000 I think sometimes she eats them.

01:27:07.000 For a little more, I think she'll eat them.

01:27:09.000 But a lot of it seems like it's not just... 0.99

01:27:12.000 Because you can find buttholes and crazy sex anywhere on Pornhub. 0.99

01:27:16.000 It's just some weird fetish. 0.99

01:27:17.000 Like that?

01:27:18.000 Remember that?

01:27:18.000 It's like that exact thing.

01:27:20.000 And she shrinks them down.

01:27:21.000 She goes into Photoshop.

01:27:22.000 She's very savvy with the Photoshop.

01:27:24.000 Shrinks them and then puts them in her pocket. 0.99

01:27:27.000 And that's it.

01:27:28.000 Okay.

01:27:29.000 So, it's pretty wild.

01:27:31.000 I don't know.

01:27:32.000 I mean, it seems like there's like a...

01:27:33.000 I think there's some men on there that kind of don't want to just see some stranger.

01:27:37.000 Because also, you go on Pornhub and all these places, and you're like, I don't know how old this person is.

01:27:42.000 It's a lot of stepbrother and steps...

01:27:44.000 I don't know what I'm looking at.

01:27:45.000 Right.

01:27:46.000 I'd rather kind of see a woman breastfeeding so I know that she's, you know... 1.00

01:27:50.000 Yeah, well there's gotta be weird kinks outside of just like regular sex stuff. 1.00

01:27:55.000 Like how many guys like to get their balls stomped on? 0.99

01:27:57.000 What is that? 0.99

01:27:59.000 What is that?

01:28:00.000 I don't know.

01:28:01.000 That can't be good.

01:28:03.000 I think some of it is CEOs.

01:28:06.000 Being denigrated, being humiliated.

01:28:08.000 I think there's some of these guys that are the head of these giant corporations and they're under so much crazy stress and they take some sort of jolly and getting kicked in the nuts and told what to do.

01:28:19.000 Like dominatrixes, they'll tell you they deal with these high-stress guys that run businesses. 0.95

01:28:25.000 I have a friend that did that for a while.

01:28:27.000 She would send this one guy photos of her feet, but she would demand money from him.

01:28:33.000 That's what he was into.

01:28:34.000 Like, send me $100 right now kind of thing.

01:28:37.000 And then she would insult him. 0.99

01:28:40.000 She would just go to his house and insult him while he would jerk off. 0.99

01:28:43.000 They called them humiliatrixes. 1.00

01:28:45.000 Yes.

01:28:46.000 Yeah.

01:28:47.000 Like, okay.

01:28:47.000 Yeah.

01:28:49.000 Cool. 0.84

01:28:50.000 I mean, I'm encouraged by how popular MILF porn is. 0.99

01:28:53.000 That's very promising.

01:28:54.000 It's very promising.

01:28:56.000 Well, MILFs can keep it together these days. 1.00

01:28:58.000 It used to be they didn't lift weights.

01:29:00.000 There you go.

01:29:00.000 They didn't take care of their nutrition.

01:29:02.000 They didn't lift weights.

01:29:03.000 They hit a certain point in time.

01:29:06.000 And then it was the MILFs that were like... 0.80

01:29:09.000 They had that much sand left in the hourglass, and so they were really horny.

01:29:13.000 Because they knew they only had that much more time where men found them desirable. 0.84

01:29:18.000 Interesting.

01:29:18.000 Yeah.

01:29:19.000 I don't know if it was that, because you remember when I made that robot for one of my specials? 0.92

01:29:24.000 I went down to the robot-making factory, and they told me the most popular request for the sex doll nipples were large and brown.

01:29:31.000 Like the nipple being almost as big as the boob and dark, which is what happens when you breastfeed. 1.00

01:29:36.000 Your nipples get darker. 0.94

01:29:37.000 Oh, wow. 0.99

01:29:37.000 So I thought it was some primordial... 0.99

01:29:39.000 Ooh, could be. 0.98

01:29:40.000 About like dark nipples or something. 0.99

01:29:42.000 Right, it could be. 0.98

01:29:43.000 It's like a maternal thing.

01:29:45.000 Mm-hmm.

01:29:46.000 Or people are just, guys are watching MILF porn to be like, is that what my wife's supposed to look like?

01:29:51.000 Maybe just comparing, I don't know. 0.54

01:29:53.000 Yeah.

01:29:53.000 But it's always heartening when you go to a porn site and MILF is number one.

01:29:56.000 I'm like, yeah. 1.00

01:29:57.000 What's generally the MILF fucks the stepson. 0.99

01:30:01.000 That's a lot of it. 0.99

01:30:02.000 What is that? 1.00

01:30:04.000 Well, the dad is an asshole. 1.00

01:30:06.000 He was a shitty dad. 1.00

01:30:07.000 He was never home. 1.00

01:30:08.000 He was mean. 0.99

01:30:09.000 And then he gets rid of the mom and gets this new hot monster that lives in his house that's just a cock addict. 1.00

01:30:17.000 And then... 0.99

01:30:19.000 Are we running out of taboos, guys? 1.00

01:30:21.000 Are we running out of taboos? 0.98

01:30:22.000 When did sex get so boring, guys?

01:30:24.000 Well, that's the most likely one, because you couldn't do it the other way. 0.96

01:30:26.000 I guess you could, but it'd be way creepier.

01:30:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:30:29.000 You know, if it was the stepdad and the daughter, that's really creepy.

01:30:33.000 I'm good on that.

01:30:34.000 Right?

01:30:34.000 Isn't it funny?

01:30:35.000 They do that.

01:30:35.000 I know they do that, but isn't it funny that the stepdad and the daughter creeps me out, but the stepson's like, ha, ha, ha.

01:30:41.000 For some reason, for some reason, what is that?

01:30:44.000 It's like if you were to do like professor, student, you'd be like, ugh.

01:30:48.000 But if it's like teacher and guy, you're like, oh, good for him.

01:30:53.000 Yeah, I know.

01:30:55.000 It's a tough one.

01:30:56.000 Yeah, but it's just we don't worry about boys the way we worry about girls.

01:31:01.000 That's what it is.

01:31:01.000 I've been trying to write a bit about this for so long, and I think there's a lot of reasons I can't crack it, but it is really like when boys get molested, nobody cares.

01:31:09.000 Nope.

01:31:10.000 Well, they do if they get maliced by men.

01:31:12.000 Then it's murderous.

01:31:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:14.000 Yeah.

01:31:15.000 Yeah.

01:31:15.000 And if, like, an actress in L.A. gets hugged too long at a Christmas party, like, we shut down.

01:31:20.000 Variety rights.

01:31:21.000 The city.

01:31:21.000 Front page article.

01:31:22.000 We march.

01:31:22.000 The highways are shut down.

01:31:24.000 Like, everyone gets fired.

01:31:27.000 It's interesting.

01:31:28.000 And then there's also that some women, particularly in Hollywood, they use seduction to ingratiate them with people. 1.00

01:31:38.000 They will flirt with people to get closer to producers.

01:31:42.000 And that's one of the reasons why, you know, who was the famous one that Tarantino told us about that had a bed in his office where he would bed starlets?

01:31:52.000 And this was like, you know, back in the day in the early movie business.

01:31:56.000 I forget who it was.

01:31:57.000 Hitchcock?

01:31:58.000 No, I don't believe so.

01:32:00.000 But I'm sure it was a common practice.

01:32:02.000 I think all of those studio heads and all those executives, like Harvey Weinstein was just one of many.

01:32:10.000 That's how they did it.

01:32:12.000 Like, you got jobs if you blew guys.

01:32:14.000 And there was a lot of girls that were willing to do that. 1.00

01:32:17.000 And the real actresses would frown upon it and they'd be mad, but a lot of times they'd be boxed out. 1.00

01:32:22.000 And we heard those stories.

01:32:23.000 Yeah.

01:32:24.000 I told you about that time Harvey Weinstein came to the Comedy Store.

01:32:28.000 No, you didn't.

01:32:29.000 He came in the main room and I left and the manager at the time called me and he said, Harvey Weinstein came to see you.

01:32:35.000 You need to come back here right now.

01:32:37.000 And the only reason I didn't go back is because I was like, no, he saw me in good lighting.

01:32:41.000 I don't want to come back.

01:32:44.000 That's hilarious.

01:32:45.000 I missed my window.

01:32:47.000 Yeah, you got lucky.

01:32:48.000 Yeah.

01:32:49.000 You dodged that one.

01:32:50.000 I mean, it is wild, though, like how, I mean, when I first moved to L.A., people would go, oh, yeah, you got to sleep with Harvey.

01:32:57.000 Like, it was just like, people just said it.

01:32:59.000 Like, it was like, Ellen's mean. 0.83

01:33:00.000 Like, everyone just said it. 0.99

01:33:03.000 It's like, Ellen's mean and Harvey Weinstein, you have to, he has to rape you for you to get a job. 0.99

01:33:07.000 And you're like, cool, let me know. 0.95

01:33:08.000 But he made deals with people, right?

01:33:10.000 Like, where he really did follow up on his deal.

01:33:13.000 You won an Oscar.

01:33:15.000 Yeah.

01:33:16.000 Because Oscars are all bought.

01:33:18.000 It's a lot of money to win an Oscar.

01:33:21.000 Is it really bought?

01:33:22.000 How much of it's bought?

01:33:23.000 I mean, Jamie, help.

01:33:26.000 I mean, it's...

01:33:28.000 I haven't bought one myself, but...

01:33:30.000 It's pretty expensive, from what I understand.

01:33:32.000 I mean, you do also have to campaign.

01:33:33.000 You have to go to these nursing homes, because the voters are in nursing homes. 0.99

01:33:36.000 I don't know how it works now.

01:33:38.000 I think they've kind of...

01:33:39.000 I mean, George Lopez is on the board now, so I don't know exactly.

01:33:42.000 Is he really?

01:33:42.000 Well, yeah.

01:33:43.000 They really wanted to make a big diversity push for the board of the Oscars.

01:33:47.000 Like South Park?

01:33:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:33:49.000 Make it a girl and make her gay. 1.00

01:33:52.000 So funny. 0.98

01:33:53.000 But it is.

01:33:54.000 It's a big campaign.

01:33:55.000 You have to buy all these ads.

01:33:57.000 You have to, you know.

01:33:57.000 Yeah.

01:33:59.000 It's expensive.

01:33:59.000 It's funny how that's still a big deal.

01:34:02.000 Awards for art.

01:34:03.000 Mm-hmm.

01:34:04.000 I was thinking about this of the new special I did.

01:34:07.000 I'm probably gonna get in a bunch of trouble.

01:34:09.000 OnlyFansTV did let me yell about trans people for 30 minutes.

01:34:12.000 But now that Ellen Page is a trans man, can she win an Oscar if she was emotional in a role?

01:34:22.000 Or is that cheating?

01:34:27.000 Huh.

01:34:29.000 Well, she's still a tiny man, you know?

01:34:33.000 Yeah.

01:34:33.000 So it's going to be difficult for her to...

01:34:34.000 But if she can cry...

01:34:35.000 If she... 0.95

01:34:36.000 He...

01:34:37.000 Whatever.

01:34:37.000 If he can cry on cue...

01:34:39.000 Is it cheating?

01:34:40.000 Is it like...

01:34:42.000 Depends on what hormones. 0.93

01:34:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:44.000 Like if he's jacked up on testosterone...

01:34:46.000 Okay.

01:34:47.000 So should we have to do that kind of testing the same way you would test an athlete who is about to compete against biological females? 0.97

01:34:55.000 You know, it's also interesting.

01:34:56.000 If you become a trans man, you're allowed to be like as manly as possible. 0.99

01:35:01.000 And if you become a trans woman, you're allowed to go full ho. 1.00

01:35:05.000 You have to look like Minnie Mouse. 0.93

01:35:06.000 Yeah.

01:35:07.000 They celebrate these embracing of gender norms, of gender ideals.

01:35:13.000 They celebrate it when you're trans. 0.98

01:35:16.000 Yeah, I make fun of all my, like, the trans girlfriends I have.

01:35:18.000 I'm like, you know that women wear pants, right? 1.00

01:35:21.000 Like, you know women, we don't have to dress like Betty Boop. 1.00

01:35:24.000 Like, why are you wearing cat ears?

01:35:26.000 They're trying so hard.

01:35:28.000 But I think it's also, it's like if you're trying to make up for lost time, it's like, okay, maybe you wanted to be a girl when you were like eight, so you're dressing the way you, you know, like in a princess costume.

01:35:38.000 Right, for 25 years you held it back.

01:35:40.000 Yeah, my thing is like if you're going to transition to a woman in 2023, you need to look like one of the boys from Stranger Things. 0.94

01:35:45.000 Like this is how we dress now.

01:35:47.000 Right.

01:35:47.000 We dress like bull dykes now.

01:35:48.000 But they can't because it's got to be clear what you're doing.

01:35:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:35:52.000 You can't have no makeup on and short hair.

01:35:54.000 Like what?

01:35:57.000 You have to really like indicate it a little more.

01:36:00.000 The Elliot Page one when he got fake abs is the wildest one.

01:36:04.000 Is that like a surgery for fake abs?

01:36:06.000 Yeah, they do surgery for fake abs now.

01:36:08.000 They give you ab implants. 0.96

01:36:10.000 I bet you could get nudicals too.

01:36:12.000 What's a nudical?

01:36:13.000 You know how when some people will neuter their dogs? 0.98

01:36:17.000 Oh, and they give them fake balls? 0.95

01:36:18.000 But give them fake balls. 0.99

01:36:19.000 You'd probably get those too in a way. 0.99

01:36:20.000 I guess you could.

01:36:21.000 Have you seen the pictures of the fake abs?

01:36:25.000 You gotta see this.

01:36:26.000 No.

01:36:26.000 Because it's so crazy.

01:36:28.000 Because it would be like someone who only did sit-ups with like a weighted vest on and dumbbells and like reverse squats.

01:36:37.000 You would have to do like hard core ab exercises to develop a core like this.

01:36:41.000 And it's also no trans men transition to like a dad bod. 0.57

01:36:47.000 I guess.

01:36:48.000 Chaz Bono.

01:36:49.000 Oh, that's a good point.

01:36:51.000 Yeah.

01:36:51.000 That's a good point.

01:36:52.000 But so if you get fake, is it like calf implants?

01:36:57.000 Yeah.

01:36:57.000 And what happens if you actually start working out?

01:36:59.000 They're hard as a rock.

01:37:00.000 It's not hard as a rock, but it's like there's an implant, like a titty implant.

01:37:05.000 Okay.

01:37:05.000 That's under there that accentuates the area where you would have extraordinary abdominal muscles.

01:37:11.000 Okay.

01:37:12.000 Show the picture.

01:37:13.000 Mm.

01:37:15.000 Elliot Page.

01:37:16.000 And it's just like a silicone?

01:37:17.000 Well, 100% it's not real.

01:37:19.000 Okay.

01:37:19.000 Because here's the thing.

01:37:21.000 When you look at the rest, that one's one, but the one out in the light that you showed the first photo.

01:37:25.000 Uh-huh.

01:37:26.000 Like, those are giant ab muscles.

01:37:28.000 Wow, wow.

01:37:29.000 Like, to have ab muscles like that, you would have shoulder muscles, you'd have arm muscles, but he doesn't have either of those.

01:37:35.000 He's got armpit hair.

01:37:36.000 Is that a merkin, or can you grow those?

01:37:38.000 No, you can grow those.

01:37:38.000 Oh, wow.

01:37:39.000 Yeah.

01:37:40.000 But those abs are crazy.

01:37:42.000 That's wild. 0.99

01:37:43.000 You would have to be doing some serious fucking sit-ups to develop abs like that. 0.99

01:37:50.000 That's super intense. 0.98

01:37:52.000 Because even if you're just flexing, like holding it for the camera with good lighting, those are extraordinary.

01:37:58.000 Yeah, to have them cut in like that.

01:38:00.000 Yeah, but the rest of your body doesn't have any muscle development.

01:38:02.000 I think that's a before picture.

01:38:04.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

01:38:06.000 That's skinny. 1.00

01:38:07.000 And then on the right one...

01:38:10.000 Look at that.

01:38:10.000 Those are giant.

01:38:11.000 How is there already a surgeon that does this?

01:38:14.000 You know what I mean?

01:38:15.000 They've been doing it for a while.

01:38:15.000 Have they?

01:38:16.000 Yeah, ab implants. 0.92

01:38:17.000 You can see some horror nightmare story ab implants where they look super fake.

01:38:22.000 Oh, look at that.

01:38:23.000 So this is what they do.

01:38:24.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:38:25.000 So they slice you open, shove these fucking things in there, and then all of a sudden it looks like you've got massive abs. 0.99

01:38:31.000 I have a friend who used to work with David Copperfield and said after they worked together one night, they were in some hotel, and he went out on his balcony and saw David Copperfield's full-body muscle suit hanging over the railing to dry out. 0.99

01:38:48.000 He wore a full suit underneath it.

01:38:52.000 Oh, to make it look like he had a great body?

01:38:54.000 Oh my god, that's insane.

01:38:56.000 Like a superhero costume?

01:38:57.000 Like a wax costume, basically, with abs and pecs.

01:39:02.000 No way.

01:39:02.000 And then he put his shirt on over that?

01:39:04.000 And it was hanging over the railing.

01:39:06.000 It just looked like this.

01:39:07.000 I know.

01:39:09.000 I know.

01:39:10.000 Wild.

01:39:11.000 That's a toupee times a hundred.

01:39:13.000 Yeah.

01:39:14.000 Yeah, that guy's wild.

01:39:15.000 That's crazy.

01:39:16.000 I didn't even know they had those other than like for movies.

01:39:19.000 I'm sure he got like custom made because he's David Copperfield. 1.00

01:39:23.000 Just go to the gym, you lazy fuck. 1.00

01:39:25.000 How many days a week are you working on magic? 1.00

01:39:27.000 Doesn't he have his own island?

01:39:29.000 I think he's got like an island.

01:39:30.000 I'm kind of into people that have islands right now.

01:39:33.000 Well, he's been headlining in Vegas for so long.

01:39:36.000 Is that real?

01:39:37.000 Yeah, silicone. 0.84

01:39:38.000 What?

01:39:39.000 Oh, that's an outfit.

01:39:40.000 So if you look at the sleeves, you see how it fits over?

01:39:43.000 Yes, exactly.

01:39:43.000 Okay.

01:39:44.000 Yeah.

01:39:44.000 Yeah, he has like one of these.

01:39:46.000 That's so crazy.

01:39:47.000 I don't know. 0.98

01:39:47.000 Those are great tits, by the way. 0.98

01:39:49.000 That's so... 0.99

01:39:50.000 What?

01:39:51.000 That is nuts.

01:39:53.000 You can just pat this.

01:39:53.000 No oil nonstick.

01:39:54.000 No oil and nonstick.

01:39:57.000 But imagine you're on a date with a girl and she sees that and she's like, that's my kind of guy.

01:40:02.000 We're allowed to have push-up bras and no boobs underneath. 0.72

01:40:04.000 That's my kind of guy.

01:40:05.000 And then he's just like, well, you know, I got really sick and I got off medication.

01:40:09.000 A week ago you were jacked.

01:40:10.000 What happened? 1.00

01:40:11.000 Where the fuck are your muscles? 1.00

01:40:13.000 My wax suit belt. 1.00

01:40:14.000 What is that?

01:40:15.000 I don't know.

01:40:15.000 Silicone pants for...

01:40:16.000 Transgender realistic cross-dresser underwear. 0.87

01:40:19.000 Oh, it's realistic. 0.90

01:40:20.000 Okay.

01:40:21.000 That's realistic.

01:40:21.000 Okay.

01:40:24.000 Realistic is good.

01:40:25.000 Is that like Luigi transition pubes?

01:40:28.000 Like, what are those black curly pubes? 0.99

01:40:31.000 That's a cheap one made in China. 0.60

01:40:33.000 Made in Fachina? 0.96

01:40:35.000 I like this new bit you're working on.

01:40:38.000 I was thinking about it.

01:40:39.000 I don't want to tell people what it is, but about China.

01:40:42.000 I mean, they just took the pandas back. 1.00

01:40:45.000 Yeah, fuck you and you can't have our pandas. 1.00

01:40:47.000 That means they're going to nuke us. 1.00

01:40:49.000 If they're like, get out the pandas.

01:40:52.000 Why would they take three pandas back now? 1.00

01:40:56.000 Because we're assholes. 0.99

01:40:57.000 But what was the motivating, what was the impetus? 0.99

01:41:00.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:41:01.000 I have no idea.

01:41:02.000 Biden has to live with the fact that under his presidency, we lost three pandas.

01:41:07.000 Yeah.

01:41:07.000 Forget billions of dollars.

01:41:09.000 The whole thing is spooky.

01:41:11.000 Because, like, if I was another country, I'd be looking at America right now and go, if you're going to do something...

01:41:16.000 Now's the time.

01:41:17.000 Now's the time.

01:41:18.000 When that Corrine Jean-Pierre, whatever her name is, got busted tweeting as Biden. 0.90

01:41:24.000 The White House press secretary lady is the worst White House press secretary lady ever. 1.00

01:41:30.000 I mean, it's just Weekend at Bernie's at this point.

01:41:33.000 But she got caught tweeting as Biden on her account.

01:41:37.000 She forgot to switch accounts. 0.63

01:41:38.000 No.

01:41:39.000 Yes.

01:41:40.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:41:41.000 You didn't see that?

01:41:42.000 No.

01:41:42.000 Jamie.

01:41:43.000 Have we solved whose cocaine is in there?

01:41:46.000 Hunter Biden's.

01:41:46.000 It's Hunter's for sure.

01:41:48.000 Yeah.

01:41:49.000 The dude likes to party.

01:41:50.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:41:52.000 That's the only reason why nobody knows whose fucking cocaine it is. 0.99

01:41:57.000 That place has so many cameras. 0.99

01:42:00.000 You're telling me they can't figure out who dropped the baggie?

01:42:04.000 It's so true. 0.84

01:42:05.000 And if he was a good son, he would give some to his dad so his dad can get through his speech.

01:42:09.000 Mocked for deleted tweets saying she ran for president.

01:42:12.000 So this is the tweet.

01:42:13.000 So her tweet was, investing in America means investing in all America.

01:42:20.000 When I ran for president, I made a promise that I would leave no part of the country behind.

01:42:25.000 Like...

01:42:27.000 No.

01:42:27.000 So she's tweeting as the president.

01:42:29.000 No.

01:42:30.000 But now we know who writes that stuff.

01:42:31.000 No.

01:42:32.000 Yes.

01:42:33.000 She mistakenly logged into her Twitter account instead of President Biden's to post the tweet.

01:42:37.000 Oh, no.

01:42:38.000 Hilarious.

01:42:38.000 All the people that are doing cocaine shouldn't be and all the people that aren't should be.

01:42:42.000 It seems like she could actually use some.

01:42:44.000 Oh, she's probably just, I can't believe the job she signed up for. 0.99

01:42:47.000 Like, you think you're going to get the White House press secretary and then every day Biden's saying something dumber. 0.99

01:42:52.000 There it is. 0.99

01:42:53.000 Oh my god. 0.98

01:42:55.000 Every day Biden's saying something dumber and then the press is grilling you on it and you have to explain it away. 0.98

01:43:01.000 I just don't understand why they can't put a little bronzer on this guy. 0.97

01:43:05.000 I mean...

01:43:06.000 There's nothing you can do.

01:43:07.000 He's at the end.

01:43:08.000 I mean, he's basically...

01:43:10.000 Joey Diaz said it best.

01:43:11.000 He goes, they already got the formaldehyde in them.

01:43:16.000 I have to pee.

01:43:17.000 Can we take a break?

01:43:18.000 I'm sure you do too.

01:43:19.000 We'll be right back.

01:43:20.000 A pregnant lady would love to. 1.00

01:43:22.000 Biden being old?

01:43:23.000 I mean...

01:43:23.000 What?

01:43:24.000 I mean, why does our president look like a condominium in Fort Lauderdale?

01:43:30.000 I just don't...

01:43:30.000 I can't imagine that they think he's going to run in a year for president.

01:43:36.000 It's a year from now, November, next year.

01:43:38.000 Insane.

01:43:38.000 And then he's going to run for four more years?

01:43:41.000 He's going to be the president for four more years?

01:43:43.000 Like, how?

01:43:44.000 Did you see the clip where he said, oh God, it was so racist by accident.

01:43:48.000 He was like, you know, something about the difference between poor kids and white kids.

01:43:53.000 Yeah, poor kids are just as smart as white kids. 1.00

01:43:59.000 Why did we not start the impeachment process right then and there?

01:44:02.000 Did you see where he said recently that he taught at University of Pennsylvania for four years?

01:44:07.000 Oh my god.

01:44:08.000 Never taught a single class.

01:44:10.000 Oh my god.

01:44:10.000 It is just, the guy, he looks like the nutcracker.

01:44:14.000 Like the other countries are just like laughing at us, dude.

01:44:16.000 They must be so fun.

01:44:17.000 It must be so fun for them to watch us implode.

01:44:20.000 And if you, literally, if you are Russian, I'm sure you've seen that Yuri Bezmenov video where he did, okay.

01:44:26.000 You should see this.

01:44:27.000 We shouldn't play it because we've played it on this podcast too many times, but I'll show it to you afterwards.

01:44:31.000 It's a former guy from the KGB who's explaining what they've done to America and how they've infiltrated their education systems and the demoralization of America and that this is a plan and it takes two generations. 0.82

01:44:46.000 And he's talking about it's a 20-year plan.

01:44:48.000 And he's talking about this in the 1980s.

01:44:50.000 And that's already been implemented.

01:44:52.000 It is too far gone.

01:44:53.000 You will not stop this process.

01:44:56.000 This process is demoralization of your country.

01:45:00.000 It will be complete.

01:45:02.000 And it starts with teaching Marxist-Leninist ideas in colleges.

01:45:07.000 It's wild.

01:45:09.000 It's wild because if this guy was just guessing in 1984 and it's not really like a long-term Soviet strategy to destroy America, that has been like super-duper successful.

01:45:22.000 I mean, it feels like there's, I don't know, RFK Jr., but I'm not weighing in on the science part of it.

01:45:30.000 I just feel like if we had someone being like, we're coming for you. 0.99

01:45:33.000 I mean, his voice alone, I think everyone would be like, damn, they're not fucking around in America. 0.99

01:45:38.000 Well, I think other countries' biggest fear would be Trump getting back in power. 0.99

01:45:42.000 Yeah.

01:45:43.000 Because he's the one guy that is, even though He's a business insider.

01:45:50.000 He's a billionaire and all that good stuff, but he's not a political insider, and he does not work well with those people, and he wants to do things his way.

01:45:58.000 And I just think he's a much more formidable adversary for these countries. 0.86

01:46:04.000 He doesn't fuck around with them, but he also will make deals with them, too. 0.98

01:46:09.000 It's kind of crazy how he was... 0.98

01:46:12.000 No one gave him credit for saying literally the most logical thing when he was talking to CNN's Caitlin, whatever her name is.

01:46:19.000 I forget the woman's name, sorry.

01:46:21.000 But he was talking to her and she said, do you want Ukraine to win this war?

01:46:25.000 He goes, I want people to stop dying.

01:46:28.000 No one else will say that.

01:46:29.000 Well, that seems like the most logical thing to say.

01:46:32.000 Like, let's figure out how to get people to stop dying.

01:46:36.000 Of course, it's a horrible war.

01:46:38.000 You got people that were literally a part of the same union, and now they're blowing each other up.

01:46:42.000 I think we're getting to a point where people just want to see someone be fearless.

01:46:45.000 It's like the same person who's like, Rosie O'Donnell's fat.

01:46:47.000 Yeah, is she not?

01:46:48.000 Is she not?

01:46:49.000 Like, I mean, it's funny, but it's also like it just boils down to, yeah, this guy will say the truth. 0.97

01:46:54.000 What happened with, like, did Rosie talk shit about him or something like that? 0.95

01:46:57.000 Is that what started that for you? 0.98

01:46:58.000 I don't really know.

01:46:59.000 Well, I think, look, we forget that he was the biggest TV star before he was the president.

01:47:04.000 I mean, The Apprentice was massive, so I think he maybe knew her from that, and he called her fat.

01:47:09.000 I mean, remember when we...

01:47:10.000 But people just, it boils down to like, yeah, she is... 0.93

01:47:13.000 He's fat too. 0.63

01:47:14.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.65

01:47:15.000 Rosie, are you not?

01:47:16.000 Like, I don't know what to tell you.

01:47:16.000 Like, so he's just saying the truth.

01:47:18.000 And I think that it's like people are trying so hard just to get reelected instead of just tell the truth and serve their country.

01:47:24.000 And it's so obvious and transparent.

01:47:25.000 And it's like the more...

01:47:26.000 It's like when that woman, E. Jean Carroll, came forward against him for like sexual harassment and he was like, look at her, you think I'd harass her?

01:47:32.000 I mean, just like, the guy's unstoppable. 0.98

01:47:35.000 That lady's a nutty lady. 1.00

01:47:36.000 You ever seen that lady get interviewed? 1.00

01:47:37.000 No.

01:47:38.000 Yeah, they try to keep her away from the cameras.

01:47:40.000 Oh boy.

01:47:41.000 She's like an advice columnist or something?

01:47:43.000 She's a journalist.

01:47:45.000 But she's eccentric. 0.99

01:47:47.000 We're at the point where we're like, yeah, we're at war, you guys.

01:47:50.000 We need someone who's just going to say the truth.

01:47:52.000 Well, also, like, what are our options?

01:47:55.000 You know, what are the options?

01:47:57.000 Yeah.

01:47:57.000 The whole thing is just so scrambled.

01:48:00.000 It's a scary time.

01:48:01.000 It's weird because it's just—it shows you the thing that you've already known but you didn't want to admit.

01:48:07.000 That this system is not run logically and it's not run by someone who's, like, some evolved, experienced person who's— Got a real grip on how to run this system.

01:48:20.000 There's no one like that.

01:48:21.000 They don't exist.

01:48:22.000 So you just have these special interest groups that are forcing things to get done that shouldn't get done.

01:48:27.000 You see Zelensky the other day just asked for credit?

01:48:31.000 He's like, if you want to give us any more money, please give us credit.

01:48:35.000 Like credit.

01:48:36.000 Credit. 1.00

01:48:36.000 So they can buy more weapons and shit. 1.00

01:48:39.000 If you aren't going to give us money, give us credit and we'll pay you back. 0.90

01:48:42.000 It just seems kind of wild that we're sending all this money all over the world, not that they don't need help, but it's like, what about people in America?

01:48:48.000 What about Hawaii?

01:48:49.000 What about Hawaii?

01:48:50.000 We just forgot about Hawaii?

01:48:52.000 Yeah.

01:48:52.000 They accidentally spent an extra $6 billion on Ukraine.

01:48:57.000 They sent an accidental $6 billion, which would be more than enough to replace every single home that burned in Maui.

01:49:05.000 And there was no consideration for doing that at all.

01:49:08.000 And we don't have clean water in Appalachia or Flint?

01:49:10.000 Have we solved that yet? 0.99

01:49:12.000 No, Flint's fucked. 1.00

01:49:12.000 Flint's fucked. 1.00

01:49:13.000 Okay. 1.00

01:49:13.000 All right. 1.00

01:49:14.000 And then everywhere else that has water has fluoride in it.

01:49:17.000 Explain that.

01:49:19.000 Didn't the Surgeon General do that in the 50s?

01:49:22.000 Wasn't that something that was done by the Surgeon General? 0.99

01:49:25.000 I would check his fucking stock market portfolio. 0.98

01:49:28.000 And was the idea of that to help with dental stuff? 0.99

01:49:31.000 Gary Brecker was talking about it on the podcast yesterday.

01:49:33.000 I love that guy.

01:49:34.000 Yeah, he's great. 1.00

01:49:35.000 He said there's some evidence that it's a thin layer of protection that it can give you, but also brush your fucking teeth. 0.99

01:49:42.000 Flint water criminal prosecutions end with no charges. 0.99

01:49:47.000 Frustrated residents.

01:49:49.000 Wow.

01:49:50.000 No charges.

01:49:52.000 This is just updated recently.

01:49:53.000 It's just like, this just happened.

01:49:54.000 Well, it could have just been negligence and, you know, lack of, I don't know what, I have no knowledge about the Flint thing other than when Obama pretended to drink water from there.

01:50:04.000 Can I get a glass of water?

01:50:05.000 I'm serious.

01:50:07.000 I'm thirsty.

01:50:08.000 Can I get a glass of water?

01:50:09.000 This is not a prank.

01:50:11.000 And he just takes, like, goes like this.

01:50:14.000 What?

01:50:15.000 You've never seen it?

01:50:15.000 No.

01:50:16.000 Oh my god, it's amazing.

01:50:18.000 It's amazing.

01:50:19.000 It's amazing.

01:50:20.000 He gets a glass of Flint tap water, and I swear to god, he drinks it like this, like this.

01:50:26.000 Is he trying to act like the problem is solved? 0.96

01:50:29.000 He's bullshitting the world. 0.96

01:50:32.000 Like, to think that you could bullshit the world over whether or not you drink water, have a sip of water. 0.98

01:50:36.000 Also have that sip, just for the... 0.59

01:50:38.000 Come on, these people are drinking it.

01:50:39.000 Get a little...

01:50:40.000 Watch this.

01:50:45.000 Look at this.

01:50:47.000 Stop.

01:50:48.000 Stop.

01:50:49.000 I'm going to talk about this.

01:50:50.000 Everybody settle down.

01:50:52.000 Do it from the beginning.

01:50:53.000 Do it from the beginning.

01:50:55.000 It's two minutes. 0.99

01:50:56.000 He's asking for someone to bring him the water and all sorts of shit. 0.98

01:51:00.000 Can I get some water? 0.97

01:51:05.000 Come on up there.

01:51:09.000 Give me some water.

01:51:12.000 He's just waiting for the water.

01:51:14.000 Just trying to save time.

01:51:15.000 They're straining the coal out of it in the back.

01:51:16.000 But why would they be cheering when they're literally...

01:51:19.000 I want a glass of water.

01:51:20.000 I want a glass of water.

01:51:21.000 He's literally drinking poison water.

01:51:23.000 Like, they're drinking poison water and everyone's cheering that he's asking for poison water.

01:51:27.000 Because they're excited he's about to fall over and die.

01:51:29.000 No, they're thinking, you know, he's showing us that he's going to fix it.

01:51:33.000 I mean...

01:51:39.000 Meanwhile, you know that's Fiji. 1.00

01:51:41.000 Right now, they just ran to the grocery store in this amount of time.

01:51:51.000 What?

01:51:52.000 Here we go.

01:51:53.000 Like he's doing a shot of Red Bull.

01:51:55.000 This is spooky.

01:52:01.000 Usually when something isn't a stunt, you have to say that.

01:52:04.000 It's 100% a stunt.

01:52:04.000 When was the last time a president stopped a speech to ask, can I get a glass of water?

01:52:08.000 What?

01:52:09.000 They would never do that.

01:52:10.000 They would have water ready for him.

01:52:12.000 If you do stand-up, how often have you said, can I get a glass of water?

01:52:16.000 Not often. 1.00

01:52:16.000 No, you bring a fucking water on stage with you. 1.00

01:52:18.000 And then what happened? 0.99

01:52:19.000 It still hasn't been handled.

01:52:22.000 See, this is not a drink.

01:52:23.000 Gross. 0.96

01:52:24.000 Gross. 0.99

01:52:26.000 I mean, did it even get in his mouth? 0.64

01:52:28.000 I mean, oh, it's Appalachia water, still from Purdue, poisoning the water, like a lot of people that I went to high school with and stuff.

01:52:36.000 They have thyroid cancer at 40. Really?

01:52:39.000 Yeah, from DuPont.

01:52:40.000 I mean, so many chemicals have been thrown into Appalachia, but West Virginia water, DuPont, put in all that.

01:52:46.000 Remember there's Dark Water?

01:52:47.000 There's a movie with Mark Ruffalo.

01:52:49.000 Great movie.

01:52:49.000 He did it again!

01:52:50.000 Here's another one.

01:52:51.000 Watch how he did it this time.

01:52:52.000 Watch.

01:52:52.000 Watch, he gets up to his mouth.

01:52:55.000 We're doing stunts here, but, you know.

01:52:57.000 Oh, really?

01:52:59.000 And this used a filter.

01:53:04.000 You know, the water around this table was plant water that was filtered.

01:53:10.000 But he didn't drink it.

01:53:12.000 He did instantly start stuttering after he had a tiny bit of it.

01:53:15.000 His eyes start blinking.

01:53:16.000 Instant neurological damage.

01:53:20.000 So what was the Purdue thing?

01:53:22.000 Was it something to do with the...

01:53:23.000 I'm sorry, DuPont.

01:53:24.000 DuPont.

01:53:24.000 Sorry, DuPont.

01:53:25.000 It was Teflon.

01:53:27.000 So the movie Dark Water covered it.

01:53:31.000 But it was actually...

01:53:32.000 RFK worked on this case back when he was a lawyer.

01:53:34.000 Because, you know, RFK spent so much time trying to clean up water, which I really admired.

01:53:38.000 But what Teflon was made of, they ended up just pouring into the dark waters.

01:53:44.000 I never watched this.

01:53:45.000 Who's in this?

01:53:46.000 It's amazing.

01:53:47.000 Mark Ruffalo.

01:53:48.000 Tim Robbins.

01:53:49.000 Tim Robbins.

01:53:50.000 Hannah Hathaway.

01:53:52.000 And it's all about?

01:53:53.000 And it's all about the poisoning of the water in Appalachia.

01:53:57.000 He's a lawyer.

01:53:58.000 He's a lawyer who took on the case for free to try to take on DuPont.

01:54:04.000 He looks like John Reeves, doesn't he?

01:54:06.000 Like a shorter version of John Reeves?

01:54:09.000 Okay. 0.96

01:54:11.000 Disgusting. 0.96

01:54:11.000 Well, they've been doing that from the beginning of time. 0.96

01:54:13.000 And then when they're not doing it here, they do it in South America.

01:54:16.000 And what they're doing in Appalachia with the coal mines and all the pollution from that is really incorrigible.

01:54:21.000 Yeah, it's all crazy.

01:54:23.000 We were looking at this video of this one town in Indiana where they have multiple coal mines in the area.

01:54:30.000 And you go outside and these people have a thin layer of soot that's on their windshield.

01:54:34.000 And you can just wipe it off with your finger.

01:54:36.000 And so you're breathing that.

01:54:37.000 It's going into the kids' lungs, yeah.

01:54:39.000 Everybody, a host of different sort of cardiovascular diseases, lung diseases these people have. 1.00

01:54:47.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:54:47.000 I mean, it's so heartbreaking. 1.00

01:54:49.000 And I mean, I guess I don't know enough about the topic, but, you know, there's this great documentary called Hillbilly about about the moment Hillary really put her foot in her mouth calling for clean energy.

01:54:59.000 And she said it was not the deplorable speech, but it's she said, we're going to get rid of coal mining.

01:55:05.000 You guys did the best you could to keep the lights on.

01:55:09.000 What?

01:55:11.000 And by best they could, they died.

01:55:13.000 Like, my grandfather worked in coal.

01:55:15.000 And what Massey Coal and Sinclair Coal, what they did to that region is so despicable.

01:55:20.000 Because number one, they wouldn't allow for no unionizing.

01:55:24.000 And it's a great place to union bust because people live so far apart.

01:55:27.000 They would isolate the Italians from the Irish, from the blacks, so that nobody would collude and unionize. 0.96

01:55:33.000 But they would pay the coal miners in vouchers to the Sinclair Oil Store so that they could never build any kind of wealth.

01:55:39.000 They built the schools.

01:55:41.000 I mean, they own everything.

01:55:43.000 And it's a great documentary about how Trump put on a hard hat.

01:55:48.000 He went to West Virginia and said, I'm never going to get rid of coal because I'm not going to get rid of your jobs.

01:55:53.000 And even though there's only 50,000 left, it's one of the most valuable in terms of voting areas of the country that people just ignore.

01:56:00.000 People just never go there.

01:56:01.000 Wow.

01:56:02.000 It's heartbreaking.

01:56:02.000 But that's also centered the opioid crisis.

01:56:04.000 So it's coal, it's Teflon, it's poisoning water, and then opioid crisis. 1.00

01:56:10.000 Yeah, there's spots in this country where you could get a bad roll of the dice and be born in a fucking hillbilly commune in West Virginia and like, fuck. 1.00

01:56:19.000 That's right. 1.00

01:56:20.000 That's right.

01:56:21.000 And the fact that it's thought of as this backwards area always breaks my heart because it was the first woke state.

01:56:26.000 It was the first state that said, we're not doing slavery.

01:56:29.000 It said, we're not doing slavery. 0.99

01:56:31.000 John Brown left and said, we're not playing this shit. 0.99

01:56:35.000 So were they just a victim of the fact that they had coal? 1.00

01:56:38.000 Coal, yeah.

01:56:39.000 Came in being exploited, which is, you know, I mean, I don't know if this is exactly true or not, but people I know that are in the coal business there, it's like, you know, they've taken all of our natural resources.

01:56:47.000 If they hadn't mined all of our coal, like by now we would have diamonds.

01:56:50.000 You know, like they've taken all the wealth of the region.

01:56:54.000 It's just, it's totally devastating what it's done to the topography.

01:56:57.000 I mean, the trailers, the boulders crush kids all the time because of the way that they've messed with the topography and completely just depleted the soil. 0.97

01:57:06.000 Oh, so they'll have collapses and shit? 0.99

01:57:08.000 Floods, horrible floods. 0.99

01:57:10.000 Dude, imagine being in one of those things when it collapses.

01:57:13.000 Can't.

01:57:14.000 Can't.

01:57:15.000 Can't.

01:57:16.000 Probably be in that little Titanic Easy Bake Oven.

01:57:19.000 There's one place that has coal mines that has a fire that's been burning inside that coal mine for like decades.

01:57:27.000 Wow.

01:57:28.000 That makes sense.

01:57:28.000 I mean, the fact that I think about this all the time because I don't know where you are on like ancestral trauma and epigenetic imprinting and stuff, but I've always had a little bit of a like, I don't like small spaces, you know, and my grandfather was in mines and sometimes that imprints on you.

01:57:43.000 Look at this.

01:57:44.000 Original cause and start date is still a matter of debate.

01:57:46.000 It is burning at depths up to 300 feet over an 8-mile stretch of 3,700 acres.

01:57:53.000 At its current rate, it could continue to burn for over 250 years.

01:57:57.000 Due to the fire in the 1980s, Centralia was mostly abandoned.

01:58:03.000 Can you imagine going a mile into the earth?

01:58:07.000 See if you can find a video of that, because there's videos of it.

01:58:10.000 It's very strange.

01:58:13.000 So this coal mine fire has been going on forever.

01:58:17.000 Wow.

01:58:17.000 And it burns underneath the ground.

01:58:19.000 And it's all coal, so it's never going out.

01:58:21.000 And there's oxygen to it, so it's never going out.

01:58:23.000 Since 1971?

01:58:25.000 Wow. 1.00

01:58:26.000 Fucking crazy. 1.00

01:58:27.000 Dude. 1.00

01:58:29.000 It says it's been burning since 62. Oh my god.

01:58:35.000 Oh my god.

01:58:36.000 That's unfathomable.

01:58:39.000 It's just coming out of the ground everywhere.

01:58:41.000 Imagine you're driving through and there's no one there. 1.00

01:58:43.000 That's some walking dead shit. 1.00

01:58:45.000 Can't. 1.00

01:58:46.000 Too scary. 0.96

01:58:47.000 And also, how bad does that air suck?

01:58:51.000 That's the thing about the coal mining thing.

01:58:53.000 It's like, what you really need to do is find other industries.

01:58:56.000 Okay.

01:58:57.000 Yeah, without taking coal miners jobs because it's like it's this thing where they have this skill and then all of a sudden it's like we're going to get rid of your job. 0.99

01:59:05.000 Well, remember learn to code?

01:59:07.000 That was the thing.

01:59:08.000 They were telling them learn to code.

01:59:09.000 Oh god.

01:59:10.000 Like what?

01:59:10.000 Learn to code the robots that are going to replace you?

01:59:13.000 Learn to get something that's going to give you a job is what the idea was but it's like fuck what are you saying? 0.99

01:59:19.000 It must be wild. 0.99

01:59:19.000 Like, you're going to send kids to college soon? 0.99

01:59:22.000 Like, is that a weird...

01:59:23.000 I mean, college, like...

01:59:25.000 You know, I had this conversation with someone the other day where they were like, you know, kids today have it harder.

01:59:30.000 I'm like, bro, kids were born before there were floors.

01:59:33.000 No, no, no.

01:59:34.000 You know?

01:59:35.000 They hadn't invented floors yet, and people were having kids.

01:59:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:59:39.000 It's complicated, for sure.

01:59:41.000 It has always been complicated.

01:59:42.000 Every single time human beings have been alive, it's been complicated.

01:59:46.000 These are different complications that our kids are dealing with than we dealt with.

01:59:51.000 And every generation has probably said that, right?

01:59:53.000 Yes.

01:59:53.000 This is the hardest generation for kids.

01:59:55.000 Or the weirdest.

01:59:55.000 Like, the 80s are probably weird compared to the 70s.

01:59:58.000 Also, kids used to work in factories.

02:00:00.000 Mm-hmm.

02:00:00.000 Oh, yeah.

02:00:01.000 That's the other part of that dissolving illusions.

02:00:03.000 Some still do.

02:00:05.000 Burning Mountain is a rare phenomenon.

02:00:06.000 A coal seam buried 30 meters underground, which has been burning for at least 5,500 years.

02:00:12.000 And some say over 15,000 years.

02:00:15.000 Where is that?

02:00:16.000 It's in Australia?

02:00:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:00:17.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:00:19.000 Is that how we found fire? 1.00

02:00:22.000 Did we just stumble across it?

02:00:23.000 I think it was lightning.

02:00:25.000 Interesting!

02:00:25.000 Did we really come up with it?

02:00:26.000 I think it was lightning.

02:00:28.000 I think that's what the current belief is, that originally they carried fire from one place to another.

02:00:36.000 You know, they would get the coals and they would figure out how to maintain it because it was so precious when it happened.

02:00:41.000 And they figured out how to keep fires lit.

02:00:44.000 But if you have a fire pit somewhere, like a water pit that you're used to going to get water from, and you just go walk and get more fire when you're out of fire, you don't need to worry about making it because they have it.

02:00:52.000 Were there brush fires back then, the way there are now?

02:00:55.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:00:56.000 I'm thinking of it as a super baseline.

02:00:58.000 Like, we don't know what fire is, but it's over there, so we can just go get more of it.

02:01:02.000 Well, I think for sure when they first found fire, they said, you know, it's kind of nice to get close to this.

02:01:07.000 It's kind of warm over here.

02:01:09.000 And then they probably figured out, well, you just put more wood on it.

02:01:12.000 You can make it more fire.

02:01:15.000 And then they figured out you could pick up the part that's not on fire and take it over here.

02:01:19.000 You can throw your enemy on it.

02:01:20.000 Yeah, how do you make one of those things?

02:01:22.000 Yeah.

02:01:22.000 Then someone figured out, you know what?

02:01:24.000 Friction makes fires.

02:01:26.000 The first dude that figured out how to do this...

02:01:28.000 That's...

02:01:29.000 Was had OCD. Have you ever done that?

02:01:31.000 Severe schizophrenic. 0.86

02:01:32.000 Made a fire like in Girl Scouts or something.

02:01:34.000 Yeah, I did it in the Boy Scouts.

02:01:35.000 It takes forever.

02:01:37.000 And I don't think I ever really got a fire.

02:01:39.000 I think I got to where it was blackened, you know, from the friction.

02:01:43.000 It was like got a little bit red, but I never really made a fire.

02:01:45.000 I wonder if they teach now in Girl and Boy Scouts, like, just using the mirror and the sun, doesn't that?

02:01:50.000 I once had my couch, there was like a CD. Remember the old school CDs?

02:01:54.000 And it made, the sun hit it, and it burnt my couch.

02:01:58.000 Do you know that that's the way that some people sabotage fields and start wildfires?

02:02:03.000 They set up magnifying glasses at an angle, and then they just leave the space?

02:02:08.000 Like their competitors or something?

02:02:09.000 Well, I don't know why and who, but I know that they have found magnifying glasses set up outside Where people have, like, decided that the sun's gonna hit here, it's gonna burn this, and they can just set it there at night and leave.

02:02:22.000 That's pretty crazy.

02:02:24.000 Yeah, and it works.

02:02:26.000 That really works.

02:02:27.000 That works.

02:02:28.000 Like, I did a lot of that as a kid. 0.99

02:02:29.000 We lit paper on fire and shit with magnifying glasses. 0.99

02:02:31.000 It's kind of nuts. 1.00

02:02:32.000 I mean, I guess kids were always doing dumb shit. 1.00

02:02:34.000 Now they just film it, huh? 1.00

02:02:36.000 Mm-hmm.

02:02:36.000 Always.

02:02:37.000 But that's a pretty wild one, that you could take a magnifying glass and start a fire pretty quickly.

02:02:44.000 We can kill an ant. 0.99

02:02:44.000 Yeah, when we were kids, we would try to kill bugs and shit. 0.99

02:02:47.000 Yeah, how wild is that? 0.99

02:02:48.000 We were monsters.

02:02:49.000 I mean, people say, like, kids now, they leave negative comments and da-da-da.

02:02:52.000 I'm like, we used to take shovels and knock over mailboxes.

02:02:56.000 Yeah.

02:02:56.000 People used to play baseball with frogs.

02:02:58.000 Oh, God.

02:02:59.000 We used to toilet paper people's homes.

02:03:01.000 Like, we used to throw eggs at people's car.

02:03:03.000 Like, we would destroy—like, now you get, like, destroyed emotionally for maybe a couple minutes because you feel left out or you got a negative—we used to destroy property.

02:03:11.000 Kids used to take rocks and put them in the middle of snowballs and then throw them at cars.

02:03:16.000 Yeah.

02:03:17.000 That's brutal.

02:03:18.000 Yeah, it was crazy.

02:03:19.000 You'd always hear cars hit the brakes. 1.00

02:03:20.000 You motherfuckers! 1.00

02:03:22.000 I mean, why did we do that? 1.00

02:03:23.000 We would take a shovel, drive by a mailbox and just level it.

02:03:26.000 Because you could.

02:03:27.000 Because it's there. 0.79

02:03:28.000 Psychotic.

02:03:29.000 You ever go to like a small town and you see bullet holes in the stop signs?

02:03:32.000 Yes.

02:03:33.000 That's what that is. 1.00

02:03:34.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:03:36.000 Bang! 1.00

02:03:37.000 I mean, now it's just filmed, I guess.

02:03:39.000 I guess that's the new Darwinism, is are you going to film yourself doing it?

02:03:43.000 Well, how about those kids that filmed themselves riding over that former police chief in Vegas?

02:03:48.000 I haven't seen this, but I did see a couple people die doing a TikTok challenge, doing a backflip off of a boat.

02:03:56.000 Something like over 400 people have died so far taking selfies.

02:03:59.000 Oh, at least.

02:04:01.000 At least.

02:04:02.000 How many people have fallen off mountains? 1.00

02:04:04.000 That shit always happens. 0.99

02:04:06.000 So what happens? 1.00

02:04:08.000 Is it because you're so focused on getting the photo?

02:04:11.000 I mean, there's a video of, I think it's in India, a guy taking a video of himself next to a wild bear as the bear eats him.

02:04:17.000 Oh, God.

02:04:18.000 And he's not, everyone else is filming it, but he just keeps filming as he gets eaten.

02:04:23.000 Yeah, people are, if nothing's happened to you, you don't think it's going to happen to you?

02:04:28.000 It shuts off your frontal lobe.

02:04:30.000 That means it's truly a drug.

02:04:31.000 Is this the guy that's taking a selfie?

02:04:34.000 Oh god, I think it starts with him taking the video and just...

02:04:38.000 Oh god.

02:04:40.000 And that bear's just like, well you're meat.

02:04:42.000 Yeah.

02:04:42.000 You're made out of meat.

02:04:43.000 I'm fucking hungry. 1.00

02:04:44.000 Oh god. 0.99

02:04:46.000 I don't think he survives this, right?

02:04:48.000 Yeah.

02:04:49.000 Yeah, probably not.

02:04:50.000 Probably not.

02:04:52.000 God, that fucked up my algorithm for a while.

02:04:54.000 But wait, what is the one that the person died? 0.98

02:05:00.000 Oh yeah, these two kids were driving in a car, and he was on a bike, and they fucking plow into him, and they're laughing about it. 0.83

02:05:08.000 And they filmed it, and live-streamed it. 0.98

02:05:11.000 They hit one car, hit and run, and they hit this guy and killed him.

02:05:14.000 And it was initially reported, a lot of people were like, Tried to say that they're trying to downplay crime because it was initially reported that he just died from a hit and run.

02:05:23.000 And they were like, they don't even want to say why he really died.

02:05:26.000 No, they didn't know why he really died.

02:05:27.000 It took like two weeks before they figured out these kids killed him.

02:05:30.000 Jesus Christ.

02:05:31.000 Yeah.

02:05:32.000 And no remorse.

02:05:33.000 They're laughing in court.

02:05:35.000 They're giving people a finger in court.

02:05:38.000 Is this like a...

02:05:39.000 It's like psychopathy.

02:05:40.000 Yeah, it's psychopathy, but it's also street cred.

02:05:43.000 They're trying to pretend they're hard.

02:05:44.000 You know, they're...

02:05:45.000 And then you go, has this always happened, we just didn't see videos of it? 1.00

02:05:48.000 You know, like we've always done savage shit. 0.99

02:05:51.000 Well, for sure there's always been gangbangers and gangbang initiations and people have always done fucked up things. 1.00

02:05:58.000 It's just always been a part of human culture, but it's just seeing young kids run over an old guy on a bicycle is particularly fucking disturbing. 0.68

02:06:06.000 I wonder though, do you think that having all these videos available desensitizes?

02:06:10.000 100%.

02:06:11.000 Wow.

02:06:12.000 Yeah, I think 100%.

02:06:13.000 I think there's a bunch of factors that desensitize people.

02:06:15.000 I think movies, violent movies.

02:06:17.000 And this is not a judgment.

02:06:19.000 Like, I'm not saying we shouldn't have violent movies or we shouldn't have violent video games.

02:06:22.000 But if you don't think it's affecting people, of course it is.

02:06:25.000 You're being so much...

02:06:27.000 You're so accustomed to seeing violence and wild, horrific violence.

02:06:33.000 I really try to not watch, like, too much news or read too much news because it spooks me how I can just scroll past a school shooting with just like...

02:06:40.000 I remember when Newtown happened, I was at a job where we sent everyone home.

02:06:46.000 Like, we sent everyone home when that happened.

02:06:48.000 You know, it was like, I cried.

02:06:50.000 Now everybody would be like, oh no, another one.

02:06:53.000 I'm worried about my brain that I could just scroll right past that.

02:06:56.000 We should be.

02:06:58.000 It's a factor.

02:07:00.000 You know, there's something going on.

02:07:01.000 There's something going on with us with this prolonged exposure to horrific things.

02:07:06.000 Sigur and I have this text message chain where every day we send each other the worst things that we find.

02:07:14.000 It's almost like we're waiting for someone to cry uncle.

02:07:17.000 We do it every day. 0.99

02:07:18.000 Every day, we send each other, and I always tell him when he's taking a shit, because I'll get something like 2 o'clock in the morning. 1.00

02:07:25.000 It's a fucking, some horrible car accident, some horrible animal attacks, some horrible... 0.99

02:07:30.000 Remember when, like, there used to be, like, one video every couple months that would be, like, the what? 0.99

02:07:34.000 Remember?

02:07:35.000 Two girls, one cup? 0.99

02:07:36.000 Yeah.

02:07:36.000 Like, that was, like...

02:07:37.000 And that was fake. 1.00

02:07:38.000 That was, like, ice cream in your butt. 0.99

02:07:39.000 It was, like, ice cream or something? 0.99

02:07:40.000 Whipped cream or something.

02:07:41.000 Like, I remember when that happened.

02:07:43.000 It was, like, everybody had seen it.

02:07:44.000 Now that's just kind of...

02:07:45.000 Now it's nothing.

02:07:46.000 When you realize how extreme that seemed at the time.

02:07:49.000 I know.

02:07:50.000 And that was a big deal.

02:07:52.000 Like, there was a reaction.

02:07:53.000 The Two Girls One Cup reaction videos.

02:07:55.000 Yes!

02:07:55.000 There's so many of those.

02:07:56.000 You've watched people watching it.

02:07:57.000 Yeah.

02:07:57.000 But now you see ten times worse than that on a daily basis.

02:08:02.000 If you have my algorithm, you know, my algorithm's a mess.

02:08:06.000 I don't know how to clean it.

02:08:06.000 Do you think it's, like, part of your brain, like, because, like, it's like, what is it, rubbernecking?

02:08:11.000 Is it kind of the same thing in the brain where you see an accident?

02:08:14.000 It's like you're trying to study it?

02:08:15.000 There's also, like, you can't believe you're really seeing it.

02:08:17.000 Like, the hit and run that I saw yesterday, I was like, whoa!

02:08:20.000 That's wild you saw that in person.

02:08:21.000 Dude, I saw it as far from here as the door to this studio is.

02:08:27.000 It was two car lengths away.

02:08:28.000 They say that when Fast and Furious movies come out, car accidents go up.

02:08:32.000 Oh, for sure.

02:08:32.000 Right?

02:08:33.000 Yeah.

02:08:34.000 Yeah, the type of people that are pumped, that are Fast and Furious movies out, they shouldn't be allowed to drive.

02:08:38.000 Yeah.

02:08:41.000 There's always so much more drag racing when that happens.

02:08:45.000 Street takeovers.

02:08:46.000 I do feel like that's probably always happened.

02:08:48.000 But also, in Rome, people used to go to the Colosseum to see people get torn apart.

02:08:54.000 We used to go to the town square and watch people get hanged for entertainment.

02:08:56.000 I mean, this is in us.

02:08:58.000 And also there's something that we're aware that we're very, very vulnerable.

02:09:02.000 So if we can watch something happen to someone that exposes that vulnerability, we want to see it.

02:09:09.000 We want to see the explosion. 0.99

02:09:10.000 We want to see, you know, someone drop a fucking grenade off a drone into some dudes that are in a pit. 1.00

02:09:16.000 We want to see it. 0.99

02:09:17.000 And I want to know, it's like your brain's way of rehearsing in case it happens.

02:09:21.000 I was talking to someone about dreams and nightmares, and they were like, nightmares is your body's way of preparing for a scenario.

02:09:28.000 Do you have more nightmares after watching these?

02:09:30.000 Not really.

02:09:31.000 This movie, the program, they had to cut this out in 91, 92 because people were dying.

02:09:38.000 Apparently, I think a few kids died because they were drunk and then laying in traffic like he does in this scene right here.

02:09:43.000 Oh, God.

02:09:44.000 I remember this.

02:09:46.000 Oh, God. 0.56

02:09:47.000 He doesn't get hit, obviously, but they're just crazy drunk.

02:09:50.000 The kids were doing it.

02:09:51.000 Oh, we definitely did that in Virginia.

02:09:53.000 What else was there to do?

02:09:53.000 I never heard of anyone doing this.

02:09:55.000 Really?

02:09:55.000 Not until the movie came out.

02:09:57.000 You would never go sit in the road?

02:09:59.000 What?

02:10:00.000 That was like our main hobby.

02:10:01.000 What are you talking about?

02:10:02.000 You guys would go sit in the road?

02:10:03.000 Yeah, of course.

02:10:04.000 Jesus Christ.

02:10:05.000 Did you see that guy in Venezuela?

02:10:07.000 I think it was.

02:10:08.000 Was it Venezuela or somewhere where he shot a stop oil protestor?

02:10:12.000 Some guy just got out.

02:10:13.000 He's an American.

02:10:14.000 I have seen this.

02:10:16.000 They were blocking the road.

02:10:18.000 I don't know if it was a stop oil.

02:10:19.000 It was some sort of a protest.

02:10:21.000 Like sitting on the ground.

02:10:22.000 Yep. 1.00

02:10:23.000 This guy gets out, pulls out a gun, and just fucking shoots people. 1.00

02:10:26.000 Was it this? 1.00

02:10:27.000 It's like a ranger?

02:10:28.000 No.

02:10:29.000 Oh.

02:10:30.000 Because I've seen the rangers drag him out of the road.

02:10:32.000 I'll send it to you, Jamie.

02:10:33.000 The video's available online, but this guy just pulls out a gun and starts whacking people.

02:10:38.000 77-year-old man from...

02:10:41.000 Oh, I got Panama. 0.86

02:10:42.000 I got it here.

02:10:43.000 Is it Panama?

02:10:44.000 Yeah.

02:10:45.000 Oof.

02:10:45.000 I got it on the screen.

02:10:46.000 Oh, this guy? 1.00

02:10:47.000 I wouldn't fuck with that guy. 0.99

02:10:50.000 Yeah, there's a video of it. 1.00

02:10:53.000 They stop the traffic and he walks up to them and he pulls a gun out and fucking whacks them. 0.98

02:11:01.000 I do enjoy seeing someone who's like holding up a convenience store or something and then a pedestrian just pulls their gun out and handles it. 0.99

02:11:10.000 Yeah, okay, I just opened up my thing and another guy just stabs someone.

02:11:14.000 This guy?

02:11:14.000 Oh God.

02:11:16.000 This guy walking this slow.

02:11:19.000 Yep.

02:11:19.000 He pulls out a gun.

02:11:21.000 Yeah.

02:11:22.000 I'm not just gonna show this on the internet.

02:11:24.000 Yeah.

02:11:25.000 Oh.

02:11:27.000 Oh, he's waving it. 0.99

02:11:28.000 Yeah, he moves the stuff out of the way, but one guy gets in the way, and he just fucking shoots him. 1.00

02:11:34.000 Kills him? 1.00

02:11:35.000 Yeah. 0.90

02:11:36.000 Oh, boy.

02:11:37.000 Right here.

02:11:40.000 He starts moving.

02:11:41.000 He's like, I got... 1.00

02:11:42.000 They're talking shit to him. 1.00

02:11:43.000 He's gotta get to the urologist. 1.00

02:11:45.000 Watch the guy with the blue hat.

02:11:49.000 Once you get to that age, he's like, I have five more years to live.

02:11:52.000 I'd rather go to jail than sit in traffic.

02:11:58.000 Jesus.

02:12:01.000 He's got his finger on the pistol, too.

02:12:03.000 His finger on the trigger. 1.00

02:12:04.000 Why is anyone starting shit with him? 0.99

02:12:11.000 Oh, they don't show this in this video, I guess. 0.98

02:12:14.000 They show right after it.

02:12:15.000 Let's see.

02:12:21.000 What did you think was going to happen?

02:12:25.000 He shot two guys.

02:12:26.000 In the shoulder?

02:12:26.000 But there's a video that you can see him actually shooting people.

02:12:29.000 We don't need to be reposting that for...

02:12:31.000 Yeah, we don't need to see it.

02:12:33.000 I mean... 1.00

02:12:34.000 But these fucking idiots that just block the road as if that's somehow or another going to fix everything or the ones that go to fucking art galleries and smash paintings. 1.00

02:12:42.000 I do think that there's a little bit of an invincibility complex that comes in with knowing you're being filmed. 1.00

02:12:47.000 Like, they probably think, oh, there's a camera here.

02:12:49.000 He's not going to shoot us.

02:12:50.000 Right.

02:12:50.000 You know what I mean?

02:12:51.000 Like, there's almost like, He's probably got cancer.

02:12:53.000 He's 77 years old. 0.99

02:12:54.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

02:12:55.000 That's Clint Eastwood in every one of his movies. 1.00

02:12:56.000 Like, don't fuck with that guy. 1.00

02:12:57.000 But I do think sometimes people think, oh, there's a camera rolling. 1.00

02:13:00.000 No one's going to hurt me.

02:13:01.000 But it's like, that's not how everybody thinks. 0.99

02:13:04.000 That is so ridiculous. 0.88

02:13:07.000 The idea that I'm going to throw soup at a painting... 0.99

02:13:10.000 Yeah, and I'm going to glue myself to the wall. 0.97

02:13:13.000 I mean, I also try to go like, okay, when I was in college, I had a lot of really dumb ideas. 0.75

02:13:17.000 That's what you're supposed to do in college. 1.00

02:13:18.000 You're supposed to have dumb ideas. 0.99

02:13:20.000 You're supposed to, like, be wrong, you know? 0.99

02:13:22.000 But, like, the idea that we're taking any of this seriously, like, is just wild. 0.97

02:13:26.000 It's just these, like, dumb virtue signaling kids that think they're going to fix the world by gluing themselves to a wall. 1.00

02:13:32.000 You fucking idiots. 1.00

02:13:34.000 I look at them and I go, this is like a medication mental illness issue. 1.00

02:13:38.000 It's a mental illness issue.

02:13:40.000 It's a virtue signaling thing that you can do that now and get exorbitant amounts of attention where you couldn't do that before.

02:13:47.000 And then also the punishments are so minimal.

02:13:50.000 It's nothing that you have to worry about losing your livelihood and the rest of your life being a disaster because of it.

02:13:56.000 I say this as someone who had blue hair.

02:13:59.000 Don't let anyone with blue hair in the museum. 1.00

02:14:02.000 But that's not the problem.

02:14:04.000 You can have blue hair and be cool. 1.00

02:14:06.000 The problem is these fucking young kids and most of them come from wealthy families. 1.00

02:14:11.000 That's the take. 1.00

02:14:13.000 They probably had a Monet in their house and they have no respect for this shit. 1.00

02:14:16.000 They just think they're gonna... 0.99

02:14:18.000 But the fact that you're doing these priceless works of art from people who died centuries ago and your cause you think eclipses everything else.

02:14:28.000 These people are there enjoying this art.

02:14:31.000 They have nothing to do with the oil industry.

02:14:33.000 They're just enjoying at a museum the ability to stand in front of something that Picasso made.

02:14:40.000 Like, this is wild.

02:14:41.000 And is the idea that it's going to help with global warming?

02:14:44.000 We're going to stop oil now.

02:14:47.000 They're children. 1.00

02:14:48.000 They're fucking children. 1.00

02:14:50.000 I have some aunts in Virginia and they're so funny about the global warming thing. 1.00

02:14:53.000 They're like, it's freezing.

02:14:54.000 We can't afford heat.

02:14:54.000 We'd love for it to warm up a little bit.

02:14:56.000 I always call them for a little perspective.

02:14:59.000 They're like, we take the bus.

02:15:00.000 We would love for there to be less snow on the ground.

02:15:02.000 I'm always super suspicious about something that becomes a major movement that everybody has to be on board with.

02:15:09.000 The bottom line about the Earth, we are 100% affecting it.

02:15:13.000 It's measurable.

02:15:14.000 Human beings, our carbon dioxide output, in particular our pollutants, 100% what we're doing to the ocean, we're affecting the world in a negative way.

02:15:24.000 However, when it comes to the climate, when it comes to the temperature of the Earth, It has never been stable.

02:15:31.000 Ever, ever.

02:15:32.000 When you look at the earth over a course of 10,000, 15,000, whatever years, it goes up and it goes down.

02:15:39.000 I was reading this whole thing about how in Idaho, in, I think it was July or August of the 1930s, Had reached a temperature of 118 degrees.

02:15:53.000 Like the highest ever recorded temperature they have.

02:15:55.000 There was nothing going on there. 0.99

02:15:57.000 There was no fucking wholesale machines running and fucking diesel trucks everywhere. 0.99

02:16:03.000 There was none of that. 0.99

02:16:04.000 It's not stable.

02:16:06.000 The whole time the Earth has been here, it goes up and down.

02:16:11.000 And what Randall Carlson always says, he goes, yeah, global warming, it's bad because you have to move away from the coast.

02:16:16.000 He goes, but Global cooling is what's really scary.

02:16:20.000 That's what's really scary.

02:16:21.000 Because if we hit another legitimate ice age, most of North America was covered in a mile of ice up until 11,000 years ago.

02:16:34.000 It always gets tricky, too, when the solution to the problem makes politicians richer, too.

02:16:39.000 And everybody richer.

02:16:39.000 Industry richer.

02:16:41.000 And people have a vested interest in pushing that narrative financially.

02:16:45.000 And I'm not the person to be able to corroborate, but Schellenberger.

02:16:51.000 Michael Schellenberger was about these windmill farms that they were putting in the oceans that was killing all these whales and stuff.

02:16:57.000 And you're like, why is the pro-environment solution killing so many animals?

02:17:03.000 It definitely does. 1.00

02:17:04.000 Yeah, it's a fucking mess. 1.00

02:17:06.000 It's a mess. 0.99

02:17:07.000 But it's also people want to be on the side of something.

02:17:09.000 They want to be against this, against oil, against that.

02:17:12.000 Instead of everybody working together to figure out, like, what do we need to do to ensure the future?

02:17:17.000 And it's definitely not empowering these people that want to take away all your autonomy and all of your control.

02:17:23.000 That's not how to do it.

02:17:25.000 That's not how to do it.

02:17:26.000 It seems like it's like, and I love what you, like your philosophy on hunting, because it's like factory farming, like what they do with the cows and stuff, they're saying is like such a problem.

02:17:34.000 Yeah, most factory farming is horrific.

02:17:36.000 People should start hunting their own food.

02:17:37.000 That's hard too.

02:17:38.000 Right?

02:17:39.000 Most people don't have time.

02:17:40.000 Yeah.

02:17:41.000 They don't have the interest, which I get too.

02:17:43.000 The real way to do it is regenerative farming.

02:17:46.000 You can get regenerative, like whether it's from White Oaks Pastures or Polyface Farms, there's a bunch of regenerative farms right here in Texas that are Organic farms.

02:17:57.000 You could find them.

02:17:59.000 They sell locally.

02:18:00.000 They're grass-fed meat.

02:18:01.000 These animals are just roaming around in a pasture.

02:18:04.000 It's all ethical.

02:18:05.000 That's what you want.

02:18:08.000 But then again, if you're going to have a city of like 20 million people and there's no one growing anything other than weed, you're going to have to get food to all those people.

02:18:19.000 How does Jack in the Box get their burgers?

02:18:21.000 Well, they have to have factory farmers. 0.94

02:18:41.000 I'm learning how to pickle.

02:18:44.000 Are you really?

02:18:46.000 Preserve things?

02:18:46.000 Yeah, just to be able to grow your own food and be able to...

02:18:49.000 Once you have a baby, are you going to move to the mountains or something?

02:18:51.000 I think so.

02:18:51.000 I think I might.

02:18:52.000 You know I'm looking at places in Texas.

02:18:54.000 I really want to just be a full-on Dr. Quinn medicine woman.

02:18:57.000 Yeah, that would be awesome.

02:18:59.000 And you could have zebras out here.

02:19:01.000 Oh, sick.

02:19:01.000 Did you hear that?

02:19:03.000 I'm sold!

02:19:04.000 That was so real.

02:19:05.000 That was so real. 0.77

02:19:07.000 Oh, sick. 1.00

02:19:08.000 Like, Whitney's gonna have a fucking zebra, 100%. 1.00

02:19:11.000 Did you hear about, um, uh, who's the big drug dealer in South America? 1.00

02:19:14.000 Pablo Escobar.

02:19:15.000 His hippos?

02:19:16.000 Hippos, yeah.

02:19:18.000 Yeah, they're everywhere. 1.00

02:19:19.000 Fucking killing everybody. 1.00

02:19:21.000 They say in 20 years there's going to be a thousand feral hippos. 1.00

02:19:24.000 I'm like, put me in, coach.

02:19:26.000 I'll take those hippos, move to Texas, zebras, hippos, chickens. 1.00

02:19:30.000 Fucking dangerous. 1.00

02:19:31.000 Oh, they're so violent. 1.00

02:19:33.000 They're fucking dangerous. 0.99

02:19:34.000 They're awesome. 1.00

02:19:35.000 That's a crazy animal. 1.00

02:19:36.000 They kill more people in Africa than any other animal. 1.00

02:19:38.000 Is that true? 0.90

02:19:39.000 I think, yeah.

02:19:40.000 I think they kill...

02:19:41.000 A lot of people every year.

02:19:43.000 I think it's hundreds of people every year die from hippos.

02:19:44.000 Just by charging or they...

02:19:45.000 They eat you.

02:19:46.000 Yeah. 0.57

02:19:47.000 They just smash you in half. 0.99

02:19:48.000 It's fucking wild, dude. 1.00

02:19:49.000 When you see them eat a watermelon, you're like, ah. 1.00

02:19:52.000 Dude, that's your head.

02:19:53.000 I love that Pablo Escobar just had that.

02:19:56.000 I wonder if...

02:19:56.000 Is that part of how we kill people?

02:19:58.000 Just throw them to the hippos? 1.00

02:20:00.000 Probably.

02:20:00.000 Yeah.

02:20:01.000 I bet.

02:20:01.000 Why not?

02:20:02.000 I pity kill people every different way you could think of. 0.99

02:20:05.000 I mean, when you're on coke and you're a billionaire and you're running an entire country with bullets... 0.99

02:20:11.000 That's such a funny way. 0.95

02:20:13.000 Just like, ah, this is a hippo guy.

02:20:16.000 But I do.

02:20:17.000 I want to start doing all that.

02:20:19.000 I want to start growing my own food.

02:20:20.000 I'm getting into it.

02:20:21.000 You should.

02:20:22.000 Yeah, you can have your own small farm and just completely exist off of your own land.

02:20:26.000 Yep.

02:20:26.000 We're good to go.

02:20:46.000 Because when I wasn't, I was eating what I thought I was supposed to eat.

02:20:49.000 I got to eat vegetables and oatmeal for breakfast. 0.92

02:20:51.000 I was eating so much sugar and trash.

02:20:53.000 And when you're pregnant, you only eat what you're craving. 0.93

02:20:55.000 Like, your body is like, tonight you're having a steak, two eggs, one scuba peanut butter, and four raspberries.

02:21:01.000 So you just did it out of desire?

02:21:03.000 It's just all I'm craving.

02:21:04.000 Interesting.

02:21:05.000 It's all I've been craving.

02:21:06.000 Everything else kind of made me nauseous or made me feel run down.

02:21:09.000 But also, this is going to probably get me in a little bit of trouble, I'm also obviously not on birth control.

02:21:14.000 And I was on birth control for a while.

02:21:16.000 Why would that get you in trouble?

02:21:20.000 Look, birth control was just not good for me, personally.

02:21:23.000 But I think there's a lot of problems with it for almost everybody.

02:21:26.000 And there's also a lot of problems with maybe having...

02:21:28.000 I'm glad I didn't have a kid at 25 either.

02:21:30.000 That would have maybe been a problem too.

02:21:31.000 But my energy levels were low.

02:21:33.000 I was always...

02:21:34.000 I mean, there was one I was on last year that made me pretty manic.

02:21:39.000 Manic.

02:21:39.000 And what they say is they say, oh, it makes your body think it's pregnant, right?

02:21:44.000 I've now been pregnant.

02:21:45.000 It's not the same.

02:21:47.000 It is not the same at all.

02:21:48.000 You know, because I was like, oh, like, being hypervigilant, being a little paranoid, being kind of always a little bit tired, putting weight on.

02:21:55.000 Like, that's not my experience now that I'm actually pregnant.

02:21:57.000 And I feel like I lost a lot of time mentally to being on birth control.

02:22:03.000 Interesting.

02:22:03.000 So it affected your thinking process.

02:22:06.000 I feel like now I'm so much more mentally clear.

02:22:08.000 I mean, there's a lot of other variables.

02:22:10.000 Like, you know, I started...

02:22:11.000 You know, I... You guys saw.

02:22:14.000 I went through, you know, kind of a little bit of a rough patch, lost my mom, was smoking too much weed, which I'm sure I could do again in the future.

02:22:23.000 Like, I just...

02:22:23.000 I was doing it to check out instead of check-in.

02:22:26.000 Right.

02:22:26.000 I was doing it to numb myself from, you know, pain.

02:22:29.000 But my mom was dying right in front of me in hospice and I couldn't cry.

02:22:33.000 Right.

02:22:34.000 And I was like, this is weird.

02:22:36.000 It's weird.

02:22:36.000 I mean, she had been in bed for 12 years.

02:22:38.000 I was kind of slowly grieving it, but it's not normal.

02:22:42.000 And I was like, I got to go off birth control.

02:22:43.000 There's something off here with my emotions.

02:22:46.000 And look, all my exes listening love you, but it also makes you attracted.

02:22:51.000 You smell pheromones differently.

02:22:53.000 Women that are on birth control, there was a study where they're attracted to men with more feminized faces.

02:23:00.000 They say that you should go off birth control for a year if you're engaged to a man before you actually get married just to make sure that you're still attracted.

02:23:08.000 Really?

02:23:09.000 Because it just hacks your body chemistry so much.

02:23:11.000 You look for a different kind of man when you're pregnant versus when you're not. 0.86

02:23:15.000 So, yeah, all the hormones, I think, really did a number on my brain.

02:23:21.000 My sex drive was really low.

02:23:24.000 I had no energy.

02:23:26.000 It makes sense.

02:23:28.000 I mean, they're monkeying with your hormonal balance.

02:23:31.000 To trick your body into thinking that it's pregnant so that you can't get pregnant. 0.79

02:23:34.000 And you're taking it every month forever and ever.

02:23:38.000 Yep.

02:23:38.000 And some people get blood clots.

02:23:39.000 A friend of mine is a 17-year-old daughter.

02:23:41.000 Apparently, if you smoke cigarettes, it's very dangerous to be on birth control and smoke cigarettes.

02:23:46.000 That's really dangerous.

02:23:47.000 They put me on it.

02:23:48.000 I mean, these studies are all public, but when they first tested it in the 70s, I think at least 13 women in Puerto Rico died from taking it.

02:23:56.000 And then also, in addition to the hormones, there's all the...

02:24:00.000 Endocrine disruptors and hormone shit that were, you know, there's a lot of other variables too that are probably exacerbating it. 0.97

02:24:05.000 But I just felt like a zombie a lot of the time. 0.98

02:24:09.000 And then they put me on Adderall because I was too...

02:24:12.000 And then it just becomes this whack-a-mole thing where you're like, how about instead of adding all these other things, I just subtract this thing.

02:24:18.000 And then I was put on Prozac.

02:24:20.000 And then I was like smoking weed to try to fall asleep because I couldn't sleep.

02:24:24.000 But then it was like, I just need to get off all of this.

02:24:26.000 You know?

02:24:27.000 So in January, I just went off literally everything.

02:24:30.000 Well, you seem remarkably balanced.

02:24:32.000 Oh, thanks.

02:24:33.000 You do.

02:24:34.000 You're like, you're there all the time.

02:24:35.000 Because sometimes you would be off to the races.

02:24:39.000 Yeah, I mean, I definitely am an intense person, you know, just by default.

02:24:46.000 But I think that being on birth control, like, I was just, I was kind of, like, exhausted and manic at the same time, all the time.

02:24:53.000 It makes sense.

02:24:54.000 You know, and it does put you in a state of hypervigilance, you know, being pregnant.

02:24:57.000 Yeah, I'm nesting, I'm, you know, want to be organized, obviously.

02:25:00.000 I'm thinking about, you know, the kid, obviously, and taking care of myself. 0.84

02:25:04.000 But I look back at the time that I was on a lot of that birth control shit, and I, It's also people say, well, you know, birth control led to this sexual revolution where women had freedom. 0.99

02:25:16.000 They could do whatever they didn't have to worry about being knocked up by a guy if they wanted to have recreational sex. 1.00

02:25:22.000 And so people plotted it for that.

02:25:24.000 But no one thought about the long term consequences.

02:25:28.000 And then also, like, the difference in how people interact with each other.

02:25:33.000 There was a consequence when people were living in the 1930s or whatever.

02:25:39.000 You could get pregnant. 1.00

02:25:42.000 Everyone was aware of it.

02:25:43.000 There was a danger to it.

02:25:45.000 And when you could just take a pill and not sweat it, then it's just like this change in your natural behavior.

02:25:52.000 And yeah, I guess I feel like I stayed in a lot of...

02:25:54.000 I mean, granted, look, not that I was ready to have a kid before now, not that I was ready to commit to anyone, like that I wasn't fully cooked as a person yet or whatever, but I found myself staying in a lot of relationships that I probably shouldn't have stayed in.

02:26:07.000 That if I hadn't been on birth control, I'd be like, oh, this isn't the father of my kid.

02:26:10.000 I should move on.

02:26:11.000 Or you end up getting chemically addicted to somebody through having good sex with someone or getting all the oxytocin or whatever, and then you end up staying in a lot of relationships you maybe shouldn't stay in instead of just working on yourself.

02:26:23.000 You know, I initially went on it so crazy.

02:26:26.000 I think about all like the weird, you know, because I used to do for money when I first moved to LA and I was broke.

02:26:31.000 I would do focus groups and I would, you know, take these experimental pills and do these like clinical trials and stuff.

02:26:36.000 But when I was, I want to say 15, I went on Accutane, which is that acne medication.

02:26:42.000 And they make you take birth control simultaneously so that, you know, that's the first time I went on it, you know, at 15 years old.

02:26:48.000 So I was on these, I was on Accutane.

02:26:52.000 Santino said it was the worst thing he ever took. 0.96

02:26:54.000 I mean, the main side effect is anal bleeding. 0.97

02:26:57.000 That's the main one? 0.97

02:26:58.000 Yeah.

02:27:00.000 And you can't absorb vitamin D well.

02:27:03.000 I mean, there's a lot of problems.

02:27:04.000 It made Santino super depressed.

02:27:06.000 Really? 0.98

02:27:07.000 Yeah, he said it was fucking horrible, but it did fix his acne. 0.98

02:27:10.000 Yeah, it works. 0.98

02:27:12.000 It's a miracle.

02:27:12.000 I mean, because it shrinks your...

02:27:15.000 I think it's a huge dose of vitamin A, I believe is what it is.

02:27:18.000 Please correct me if I'm wrong.

02:27:20.000 But it shrinks your oil glands.

02:27:23.000 Some patients may develop tears in the lining of the anus, which may cause pain and bleeding, especially during bowel movements.

02:27:31.000 Duh.

02:27:33.000 When's it going to cause pain? 1.00

02:27:35.000 You take massive shits and your shit pipe is ripped open. 1.00

02:27:39.000 You know, so I was put on it at that and I just think about like all the prescription drugs like I was put on at such a, you know, young age and, you know, God, what kind of impact that had. 1.00

02:27:49.000 There's so many people that are on them and so many people that are young and they don't even get a chance to make that decision for themselves.

02:27:55.000 They're certainly not making an informed decision and so many Parents are just listening to their doctors and the doctors are just pill pushers.

02:28:02.000 Yep.

02:28:02.000 And I was actually put on – I mean this was a couple years ago.

02:28:06.000 And I didn't take it that much but five milligrams of time-release Adderall to sleep.

02:28:12.000 So I guess it's like if you actually have sort of ADHD – Adderall calms you down.

02:28:17.000 And I'm like, maybe I just need to be tired longer. 0.99

02:28:22.000 Maybe I just need to get up and do some shit. 0.99

02:28:24.000 Maybe I just need to write some jokes. 0.99

02:28:26.000 Like maybe I just am going to go to sleep a little bit later and wake up a little bit later.

02:28:28.000 And there's another one, like the Ambien people. 1.00

02:28:30.000 People that have to take Ambien to go to sleep.

02:28:32.000 Dude, have you taken it?

02:28:35.000 No.

02:28:36.000 Oh, dude.

02:28:36.000 You should try it.

02:28:39.000 Everyone that takes Ambien, I'm kind of like, my man.

02:28:43.000 I've taken it before.

02:28:44.000 It's pretty amazing.

02:28:45.000 The problem is I think you try to fight it because it feels good.

02:28:49.000 And I would wake up the next morning and there would just be open cans of peas that I would sleep eat.

02:28:55.000 I would wake up.

02:28:56.000 I remember one morning I woke up.

02:28:57.000 I thought I had been shot.

02:28:58.000 I was covered in barbecue sauce.

02:29:00.000 I had just eaten barbecue. 1.00

02:29:01.000 It makes you do wild shit. 1.00

02:29:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:29:03.000 Every now and then I'm like, we should probably at least try the drug that everyone's on, going crazy on, just to see. 1.00

02:29:08.000 The problem is if you like it and it ruins your life.

02:29:11.000 That's what I'm worried about with a lot of drugs.

02:29:13.000 I'd love to try Adderall, but I don't want that to be a thing that I lean on sometimes.

02:29:19.000 When I wrote a book, I took it a couple times, like 20 milligrams.

02:29:23.000 Like, you gotta really make sure...

02:29:25.000 Like, we already are pretty motivated people.

02:29:27.000 You gotta really make sure that you lock into the thing you want to focus on, or else you'll just be...

02:29:33.000 All over the place.

02:29:34.000 Yeah, or you'll just be, like, cleaning one thing for four and a half hours.

02:29:37.000 You know what I mean?

02:29:38.000 That's meth behavior, too.

02:29:40.000 Isn't it boiled down to being meth?

02:29:42.000 It's pretty close.

02:29:43.000 It's definitely meth's cousin.

02:29:45.000 And what's the difference between that and Ritalin?

02:29:46.000 Sorry, Ritalin.

02:29:47.000 I know people that are still on Ritalin.

02:29:49.000 Yeah, Ritalin's a little bit different.

02:29:50.000 And Modafinil is another one, right?

02:29:53.000 That is Provigil.

02:29:55.000 Oh, Provigil.

02:29:56.000 Provigil and NuVigil.

02:29:59.000 Originally, there were drugs that I believe were developed for performance enhancing, like for cognitive performance, but then they realized that you can't prescribe it for that, so they started prescribing it for narcolepsy.

02:30:12.000 But it keeps you from going to sleep.

02:30:13.000 But it's a weird one.

02:30:15.000 Because it doesn't make you feel like you're high.

02:30:21.000 But there's an interesting reaction that your brain has.

02:30:26.000 A lot of people are on it.

02:30:27.000 A lot of people are on it.

02:30:29.000 And it's so effective that I think Tim Ferriss said when he was writing his book about different hacks that he didn't put it in there.

02:30:36.000 Because he felt like people would be eating it like candy.

02:30:38.000 Yeah.

02:30:39.000 I mean, I gotta say, when we were doing the roasts last year, a lot of the writers and comics, they were doing the chocolate, like mushrooms and chocolate, like three milligrams of mushrooms and chocolate, and I did that.

02:30:54.000 That felt like...

02:30:55.000 I felt so clear.

02:30:56.000 I felt energized.

02:30:58.000 I was like...

02:30:58.000 Microdosing.

02:30:59.000 Yeah.

02:31:00.000 That's a good move.

02:31:02.000 Whatever my brain chemistry was, I thought it would chill me out and make me sort of numb or not funny.

02:31:08.000 It made me feel very...

02:31:10.000 Because maybe I wasn't bogged down in...

02:31:12.000 I don't know what it does.

02:31:14.000 It makes you feel...

02:31:15.000 There was no negativity towards myself. 1.00

02:31:17.000 I would pitch a joke and not be like, that was a stupid joke, you idiot. 1.00

02:31:21.000 So the voices went away. 1.00

02:31:24.000 But then I did a little too much and scheduled a call with a maritime lawyer to look for the Scientology ships.

02:31:32.000 Why did you want to look for the Scientology ships?

02:31:35.000 Find the homeless people?

02:31:36.000 Where are they putting the homeless people?

02:31:39.000 With me, it's like the microdose has to stay micro or else I really need to know where Shelly Miscavige is.

02:31:47.000 Is that a thing?

02:31:48.000 I mean, my guess is she's probably involved.

02:31:51.000 I don't think she's an innocent. 0.63

02:31:52.000 Everyone's like, where's Shelly Miscavige?

02:31:53.000 Let's find her. 1.00

02:31:54.000 I'm like, I bet she's an asshole too. 1.00

02:31:56.000 But is that a thing? 1.00

02:31:57.000 Like she's missing still?

02:31:58.000 Yeah, I think she's still missing.

02:31:59.000 But I did get kind of obsessed with the maritime law, how Scientologists are able to operate on the ships because there's maritime law.

02:32:07.000 They can get away with that.

02:32:08.000 Yeah, isn't that one of the main reasons why L. Ron Hubbard started that?

02:32:13.000 Because he was probably in trouble.

02:32:15.000 Yeah, and it's also why billionaires, I'm like, why are you docking your yacht a hundred yards from land?

02:32:20.000 Why aren't you just staying in the best hotel in the world?

02:32:23.000 Oh, because of what you can get away with.

02:32:24.000 Also, you have a yacht.

02:32:26.000 You also do that. 1.00

02:32:27.000 It's a fucking dope ass house that floats around the ocean. 1.00

02:32:30.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

02:32:31.000 Why would you go to a hotel?

02:32:31.000 Yeah, I guess if I had a yacht...

02:32:32.000 Okay, I guess if I had a yacht... 1.00

02:32:33.000 Fuck out of here with that hotel. 0.99

02:32:36.000 But it's like, I guess I got really into the laws of how Epstein Island... 1.00

02:32:40.000 Epstein Island had all these plastic cows that someone would move from above or something.

02:32:47.000 Oh, so it looked like it's agricultural land?

02:32:50.000 Really?

02:32:50.000 This is why I can't do mushrooms, Joe.

02:32:52.000 Jesus!

02:32:53.000 They had fake agriculture?

02:32:55.000 Yeah, so that it would move.

02:32:57.000 I just love the idea that it was someone's job every morning to get up and move the fake cows.

02:33:02.000 It is weird.

02:33:04.000 That's the whole thing about fishing.

02:33:05.000 It's like international waters. 1.00

02:33:07.000 They can kind of get away with a lot of shit. 0.99

02:33:09.000 They can just scoop up everything that's out there. 1.00

02:33:12.000 They get caught in their nets.

02:33:14.000 A lot goes on out there. 1.00

02:33:16.000 A lot of wild shit happens out there. 0.98

02:33:18.000 LAPD closed Shelley Miscavige's missing person case after a woman claimed she was the Scientology leader's wife despite the fact they had mismatched fingerprints and footage of their rendezvous was mysteriously scrambled. 0.99

02:33:31.000 Scrambled?

02:33:32.000 She was last seen publicly at her father's funeral in 2007. What?

02:33:37.000 I mean...

02:33:38.000 Would they close the case in 2013?

02:33:42.000 After meeting a woman who didn't... 1.00

02:33:44.000 So it's been going on for that long?

02:33:47.000 That she's been missing.

02:33:49.000 But do we really think she was...

02:33:52.000 I mean, she was probably blowing him every time he got a new celebrity. 0.96

02:33:56.000 And they said, you got John Travolta.

02:33:58.000 Like, I'm sure...

02:33:59.000 That is wild, though.

02:34:01.000 That's wild.

02:34:02.000 16 years.

02:34:02.000 If she really is missing?

02:34:05.000 Whoa.

02:34:06.000 16 years.

02:34:08.000 That whole thing is absolutely bonkers.

02:34:11.000 They're still out there running around.

02:34:13.000 Not only, but also, kids born into it, that's where I go, that's not okay, if you're born into it. 0.99

02:34:18.000 But if you're the kind of person that's susceptible to Scientology, is it not a good idea for you?

02:34:23.000 I mean, it's like, what would they be doing if they weren't in that castle in LA? Other things?

02:34:32.000 What would you be doing?

02:34:36.000 If they weren't making iPhones, they'd starve to death.

02:34:40.000 If they weren't in the mines digging out those precious rare earth minerals.

02:34:45.000 If you're an adult that's susceptible to Scientology at this point, I don't know.

02:34:52.000 Maybe you need it.

02:34:53.000 That was my joke about Mormons. 1.00

02:34:55.000 Do you remember when, was it Proposition 8?

02:34:58.000 They were trying to stop gay marriage?

02:35:01.000 And they actually did.

02:35:02.000 They overturned gay marriage in California.

02:35:04.000 But the Mormons spent the most money on it. 0.54

02:35:07.000 They spent a ton of money to try to reverse gay marriage. 0.99

02:35:11.000 And I said, but if you're a Mormon, you should be afraid of gay people. 1.00

02:35:15.000 Because if someone can talk you into being a Mormon... 1.00

02:35:20.000 They could talk you into sucking their dick. 1.00

02:35:22.000 They just need a little more alone time with you. 1.00

02:35:25.000 A plus. 0.99

02:35:26.000 Everyone I know that's Mormon is gay, by the way. 0.94

02:35:29.000 Maybe it's just because the ones that leave come to LA. Well, I think it's a very strange... 0.95

02:35:36.000 I mean, there's a lot of really cool Mormons.

02:35:39.000 I should say this because I spent a lot of time in Utah and I have a lot of Mormon friends and I love them to death.

02:35:44.000 They're the nicest cult members.

02:35:46.000 They're very polite.

02:35:47.000 They believe in community.

02:35:49.000 They believe in what they're doing.

02:35:51.000 But then there's these sects of Mormonism.

02:35:54.000 Sect. 1.00

02:35:55.000 Of Mormonism, where you have these guys that have like 19 underage wives that are all dressed like fucking pilgrims. 1.00

02:36:01.000 You know that weird shit? 1.00

02:36:03.000 Yes, yes. 1.00

02:36:03.000 They always find those guys. 1.00

02:36:05.000 Be sweet, be...

02:36:05.000 That's the song that they sing.

02:36:08.000 Stay sweet, or is it be sweet?

02:36:10.000 What's the motto that they inculcate into the girls? 0.99

02:36:12.000 Be sweet.

02:36:13.000 But there's a few of those guys, right?

02:36:15.000 They all look a little inbred, though.

02:36:16.000 They get in trouble.

02:36:16.000 They probably are.

02:36:17.000 Okay, I'm just saying.

02:36:18.000 What's the point of having a young bride if her forehead's that big? 1.00

02:36:23.000 I don't know.

02:36:24.000 You put a Spider-Man helmet on her.

02:36:26.000 Interesting.

02:36:28.000 Keep sweet, pray, and obey.

02:36:30.000 Yeah, they sing this song.

02:36:31.000 Oh, blue hair.

02:36:32.000 It looks like they have blue hair.

02:36:33.000 Me during the pandemic.

02:36:33.000 Warren Jeffs in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

02:36:38.000 Apparently Salt Lake City has the highest plastic surgery rate because it's women going in after having 12 kids getting their bodies shellacked back together. 1.00

02:36:51.000 Imagine you have 12 kids by the time you're 30. What a bum deal.

02:36:55.000 Bum deal. 0.99

02:36:55.000 Because it's like all the guy does is have sex, which they always do and they want to do anyway. 0.99

02:37:00.000 And the woman has to carry this fucking baby for nine whole months. 1.00

02:37:05.000 Her body changes. 1.00

02:37:06.000 And then on the way out, the cooter gets blown out.

02:37:11.000 Okay, I'm about to have this happen.

02:37:13.000 Joe, this is not the time.

02:37:15.000 Ask for an extra stitch. 0.93

02:37:16.000 This is not the time to say this.

02:37:19.000 Well, it's all numb.

02:37:20.000 You might want to stitch it up yourself.

02:37:22.000 It's going to go back.

02:37:23.000 Yeah, it'll go back.

02:37:24.000 I'm going to do the cold plunge and it'll...

02:37:25.000 No.

02:37:27.000 Shrivel right back up.

02:37:28.000 But it's also stretch marks and some women get these, like, different people's skin has different levels of elasticity. 0.99

02:37:37.000 Yeah.

02:37:37.000 Some people, they just gain a little bit of weight and they get stretch marks and it appears that it's genetic.

02:37:41.000 Okay.

02:37:41.000 And so some women, they can have a baby and their body shrinks right back to normal and they have toned abs.

02:37:47.000 And other women, they just, their stomach is just a mess. 1.00

02:37:50.000 And so then they have to hack off a giant chunk of skin and stitch it all together.

02:37:56.000 Because I've been doing these exercises so that your abs don't tear apart.

02:38:00.000 Oh, okay.

02:38:00.000 You've got to do this whole thing.

02:38:02.000 What are you doing?

02:38:02.000 It's like a specific, it's not Pilates per se, but it's to keep, to make sure that they don't rip.

02:38:08.000 And I'm inducing like a week early.

02:38:10.000 Oh, okay.

02:38:12.000 Why are you going to do that?

02:38:12.000 Because you can kind of do it at like one week sooner or later.

02:38:16.000 What do they use to induce?

02:38:18.000 Pitocin, I think it is.

02:38:19.000 Pitocin.

02:38:19.000 Are there side effects associated with Pitocin?

02:38:22.000 Keeping a tight-ass pussy. 1.00

02:38:24.000 Whoa. 1.00

02:38:24.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:38:25.000 Let's Google what are the side effects associated with Pitocin.

02:38:28.000 Because whenever someone says something like induce, I'm like, hmm.

02:38:30.000 Do you know that that was originally the use of LSD? No.

02:38:35.000 Yeah.

02:38:36.000 I think that was what they originally were trying to formulate LSD for.

02:38:41.000 They were trying to induce labor. 0.80

02:38:44.000 I thought it was to brainwash people.

02:38:47.000 They eventually started using it for that, too.

02:38:49.000 They started using it for a bunch of things once they realized.

02:38:51.000 But I'm pretty sure the initial uses of LSD... That's wild.

02:38:57.000 Yeah.

02:38:58.000 Is it true that LSD, I've only done it once, the tabs, that you have flashbacks later in life?

02:39:05.000 I bet if you crank your brain up to 10 for too long, I bet it's a little residual effect.

02:39:11.000 I do.

02:39:11.000 I mean, Christina Pazitsky, love you.

02:39:15.000 She told me I'm just doing her birth plan.

02:39:17.000 She's like, the second you walk in, she gave me the whole...

02:39:20.000 I'm just doing what she did.

02:39:21.000 That's smart.

02:39:22.000 Yeah.

02:39:22.000 Are there side effects associated with Pitocin use?

02:39:25.000 Yes.

02:39:25.000 Uh-oh.

02:39:26.000 Oh, yes.

02:39:26.000 Oh, no.

02:39:27.000 There's side effects to everything, but...

02:39:39.000 Hmm.

02:39:41.000 Hmm.

02:39:43.000 Hmm.

02:39:49.000 See, but it does, I guess the bigger the baby gets, the more the risk of a C-section comes.

02:39:56.000 So this might a little bit lower the risk of...

02:39:59.000 That'll protect your cooter. 0.94

02:40:00.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:40:01.000 Go out through the hatch.

02:40:02.000 Just full Sigourney Weaver and Alien.

02:40:04.000 Right out through the sunroof.

02:40:05.000 Let's go.

02:40:07.000 But also I want to have another one at some point.

02:40:10.000 And if you get a cesarean, you have to wait a little longer.

02:40:12.000 I can't have an only child.

02:40:13.000 They're weird.

02:40:15.000 Right.

02:40:15.000 You can adopt.

02:40:16.000 That's true.

02:40:18.000 From where?

02:40:19.000 Have you seen that there's a price list?

02:40:21.000 It depends on where you live.

02:40:22.000 If you live in LA, you should definitely adopt from Africa to get some social cred. 1.00

02:40:26.000 Yeah.

02:40:28.000 Adopt from the poorest village. 0.79

02:40:29.000 I mean...

02:40:31.000 Where do people get their babies? 1.00

02:40:32.000 I don't know, but there's a price list that there's different ethnicities or different prices. 1.00

02:40:36.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:40:36.000 I swear to God. 1.00

02:40:37.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:40:38.000 I swear to God. 1.00

02:40:39.000 What's the cheapest?

02:40:41.000 I'm gonna let you take this one.

02:40:43.000 Young mom of 22 wants to have more than 100 babies with wealthy older husband. 1.00

02:40:48.000 Okay.

02:40:49.000 They've already got like 26 kids or something like that.

02:40:52.000 How?

02:40:52.000 Surrogates.

02:40:53.000 Oh! 0.60

02:40:54.000 A lot of people are doing the surrogate deal now.

02:40:56.000 Boy, that's weird.

02:40:58.000 That's a weird one.

02:40:59.000 Right in the womb. 0.54

02:41:00.000 That's weird.

02:41:01.000 That's a weird one.

02:41:02.000 And then you also gotta think, like, you have to monitor the diet of the person that's having the baby, make sure they're not doing drugs.

02:41:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:41:07.000 If they're not gonna raise the kid, why not smoke crack?

02:41:10.000 Right.

02:41:10.000 There is a, like, you know, if the surrogate doesn't eat well, the baby will just start eating, leeching from their bones and brain.

02:41:21.000 So it will do a lot of damage to the surrogate, maybe more than the baby I was reading.

02:41:25.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

02:41:25.000 Yeah.

02:41:25.000 That's osteoporosis, right?

02:41:27.000 Some of that comes from that.

02:41:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:41:29.000 But I'm doing, they're saying, I'm doing the fish oil like crazy.

02:41:33.000 Do you eat?

02:41:34.000 I'm not a fish person.

02:41:36.000 I love fish.

02:41:37.000 Yeah, but the Fukushima thing really freaks me out.

02:41:40.000 Yeah, I've talked to people that are terrified of it, and then I've talked to Elon, who's not even remotely worried about it.

02:41:45.000 Okay.

02:41:46.000 His brain works pretty well.

02:41:48.000 I think he's probably more along the correct path.

02:41:51.000 Yeah.

02:41:52.000 Yeah, I love fish.

02:41:53.000 Yeah.

02:41:54.000 Jamie hates it.

02:41:54.000 Look at him.

02:41:55.000 Really?

02:41:55.000 Hates it.

02:41:56.000 Sushi?

02:41:57.000 You don't do sushi?

02:41:58.000 What?

02:41:59.000 Aw, man.

02:42:00.000 He's from Ohio.

02:42:01.000 They just eat potatoes and stuff.

02:42:02.000 Oh yeah, there's not a lot of water there.

02:42:03.000 They eat steak and potatoes.

02:42:04.000 It's a giant lake.

02:42:05.000 Huh?

02:42:05.000 It's a giant lake.

02:42:06.000 No salmon?

02:42:07.000 None of it?

02:42:08.000 Nothing.

02:42:08.000 Crab?

02:42:09.000 I can do crab legs.

02:42:10.000 Okay.

02:42:11.000 Not a lot of it.

02:42:12.000 Delicious, though.

02:42:13.000 Butter.

02:42:14.000 Necessary.

02:42:14.000 Lobster?

02:42:15.000 I've had it.

02:42:16.000 I had deep fried lobster here.

02:42:17.000 Deep fried lobster is the bomb.

02:42:19.000 That was at Three Forks, right?

02:42:20.000 It sure was.

02:42:21.000 Chicken fried lobster.

02:42:22.000 Ooh, it's so good.

02:42:23.000 The only thing I wanted to eat while I was here is red ash, but it burned down?

02:42:26.000 Burned down.

02:42:27.000 Don't name your restaurant that.

02:42:29.000 Well, they had a giant live fire grill area.

02:42:32.000 I don't know.

02:42:33.000 I honestly am just guessing.

02:42:34.000 I don't know where.

02:42:35.000 See, what started the fire at Red Ash?

02:42:37.000 But the guy who ran Red Ash, John Carver, opened up Jay Carver's.

02:42:43.000 I hear it's great.

02:42:44.000 Oh, it's so good.

02:42:45.000 So good.

02:42:46.000 That's my favorite spot.

02:42:47.000 I should have gone.

02:42:48.000 Or maybe I'll go tonight.

02:42:49.000 There's so many spots to go to, though.

02:42:50.000 There's this new Mexican spot that we've been talking about called Bacalar.

02:42:54.000 I saw that, Bri.

02:42:54.000 I saw it on your Instagram.

02:42:55.000 I found a new Korean.

02:42:56.000 It's not new, but it's open until 2 o'clock in the morning.

02:42:59.000 It's called Soha.

02:42:59.000 It's amazing.

02:43:00.000 Like, super authentic Korean food.

02:43:03.000 And what do you get when you get Korean? 0.99

02:43:05.000 Well, there I got this...

02:43:07.000 It was squid and...

02:43:11.000 It was like this spicy squid and something.

02:43:17.000 Oh, squid and pork belly.

02:43:19.000 It was fantastic.

02:43:20.000 It was really good.

02:43:21.000 Do you ever make bone broth out of your elk bones?

02:43:23.000 No, I don't.

02:43:24.000 But I do drink bone broth every day.

02:43:26.000 Me too.

02:43:27.000 Yeah, I buy kettle and fire.

02:43:28.000 Nice.

02:43:29.000 I get a lot of that stuff and I drink Bone broth pretty much at least once or not twice a day.

02:43:34.000 It says ductwork repairs going on.

02:43:36.000 It says fire in the ducts.

02:43:37.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

02:43:38.000 So I think the plan is...

02:43:40.000 So they have one of those things.

02:43:41.000 That's a Grillworks grill.

02:43:43.000 I have one of those at home. 1.00

02:43:44.000 They're the shit. 1.00

02:43:45.000 That's the same kind of grill that they have at my favorite restaurant in Vegas, which is Bizarre Meats. 1.00

02:43:50.000 This incredible steakhouse.

02:43:52.000 Wow.

02:43:53.000 They have live fire going on.

02:43:55.000 The steaks are on these Argentine grills.

02:43:57.000 Do you know what those are?

02:43:58.000 Where you crank it?

02:43:59.000 No.

02:43:59.000 So it raises and lowers.

02:44:00.000 So they start the steaks up very high.

02:44:02.000 So they slowly bring them up to temperature.

02:44:04.000 And then lower it down as the meat gets.

02:44:07.000 And then they sear it over the fire.

02:44:10.000 I'm really trying to learn.

02:44:11.000 I'm learning how to cook steaks better.

02:44:15.000 It's such an art.

02:44:16.000 I can give you some tips. 1.00

02:44:18.000 I'm pretty good at that shit. 1.00

02:44:19.000 I think you can. 1.00

02:44:19.000 That's my thing. 1.00

02:44:20.000 Where are you on the egg?

02:44:21.000 The green egg?

02:44:22.000 You can.

02:44:23.000 You can definitely use a green egg.

02:44:24.000 They're great.

02:44:26.000 That's a Kamado type grill.

02:44:28.000 I used to have one.

02:44:29.000 Not a green egg, but it was a Kamado.

02:44:32.000 I think it's called Kamado Kamada.

02:44:35.000 But they make these really cool ones.

02:44:38.000 Super artistic, beautiful tile on the outside of them.

02:44:41.000 That's awesome.

02:44:42.000 Yeah, I left it at one of my houses when I sold the house.

02:44:45.000 Because I had to take out my grill in the house I live in in California because any kind of meat, the coyotes, I would wake up, coyotes would just be standing on the grill in the morning.

02:44:54.000 So it's like I need something I can bring in the garage and then roll back out.

02:44:57.000 It's called a.22 with subsonic ammo.

02:45:00.000 I know, I did.

02:45:02.000 Cam Haynes was like, I'll come take care of that in two seconds.

02:45:05.000 I know.

02:45:06.000 Yeah, but you want to be able to shoot multiple times.

02:45:07.000 The problem with bows and arrows is it just takes too long to reload. 0.98

02:45:10.000 You can get one, but with subsonic ammo, they don't even know what the fuck happened.

02:45:15.000 They just get popped. 0.83

02:45:16.000 But also, it's whack-a-mole with them. 0.99

02:45:18.000 You can't kill them, right?

02:45:19.000 You're never going to eradicate them.

02:45:21.000 In fact, it's even worse because when you kill coyotes, when they yell out at night, they're kind of doing roll call.

02:45:29.000 And when one of the coyotes shows up missing, the female coyote will have more babies. 0.91

02:45:34.000 She'll make a hormone to just make more pups. 1.00

02:45:36.000 Yeah.

02:45:36.000 There's a great book about coyotes called Coyote America that my friend Dan Flores wrote and it's fantastic and it just details how unusual they are and how they evolved to be that way because they were being killed by wolves in the West.

02:45:51.000 They're in every city in the country.

02:45:53.000 Every city.

02:45:54.000 They're in New York.

02:45:54.000 They're in Central Park.

02:45:55.000 Yep.

02:45:55.000 They're everywhere.

02:45:56.000 They're so cunning.

02:45:57.000 Have you seen the video of the guy on a boat and there's a coyote swimming in the water and he reaches down and grabs it by the back of its neck?

02:46:03.000 No, where is this?

02:46:04.000 I just watched it yesterday.

02:46:06.000 I had it on Instagram.

02:46:08.000 You could probably find it, Jamie.

02:46:09.000 If not, I might have it saved.

02:46:11.000 It doesn't seem like they have rabies that often, though.

02:46:13.000 They do?

02:46:14.000 I'm sure they have rabies.

02:46:15.000 I'm sure.

02:46:16.000 They probably have everything.

02:46:17.000 They do seem fearless.

02:46:18.000 Like, I will have to chase one.

02:46:20.000 I go after it.

02:46:20.000 They look at you.

02:46:21.000 They're, like, mocking you.

02:46:22.000 They're not scared of you.

02:46:23.000 They'll attack your kids.

02:46:24.000 That's a really scary one.

02:46:25.000 There was one who carried a kid in Arizona off of a porch.

02:46:31.000 One tried to go, someone put their baby carrier down, went right for it. 1.00

02:46:34.000 They don't give a shit. 1.00

02:46:35.000 Yeah, that's food to them. 1.00

02:46:36.000 They don't think of it as your kid.

02:46:39.000 You leave something vulnerable.

02:46:40.000 Also, there's the owls who have really gotten brazen.

02:46:44.000 I've got these dog toys.

02:46:45.000 I have pit bulls, so I have these, you know, it looks like a fake squirrel or whatever.

02:46:49.000 I'm like, where are all the toys?

02:46:50.000 And there's a tree right behind my house, and all of the dog toys are just hanging. 0.99

02:46:54.000 It looks like some Blair Witch Project shit. 0.99

02:46:56.000 They just pick them up. 0.99

02:46:59.000 Oh, that's a different one.

02:47:00.000 That guy found one that was in the lake.

02:47:03.000 When I was looking it up, there's like a video from every year, from the last few years, one in Marzer's Vineyard.

02:47:08.000 They were finding it.

02:47:09.000 This one in New York City.

02:47:11.000 So it's not a dog.

02:47:12.000 Okay, so did it try to bite them?

02:47:15.000 It says he's now in the care of veterinarians.

02:47:18.000 Yeah, that means euthanasia.

02:47:20.000 They're swimming in the East River.

02:47:21.000 That's not...

02:47:22.000 Hilton Head, Biscayne Bay, Ocean.

02:47:24.000 That's in Florida...

02:47:26.000 New York's East River.

02:47:28.000 What are they doing?

02:47:29.000 Google guy grabs coyote from boat.

02:47:38.000 Boater tries to find one in the dead of night.

02:47:40.000 This happens.

02:47:41.000 Yeah.

02:47:41.000 Which specifically...

02:47:42.000 I mean, if it's on Instagram...

02:47:43.000 That's the Woodland Hills one.

02:47:44.000 The coyote attacks a toddler in Woodland Hills.

02:47:47.000 That one right there with the pink...

02:47:49.000 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

02:47:50.000 Yeah, that one's fucked. 1.00

02:47:51.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:47:52.000 It's just dragging the baby across. 0.76

02:47:54.000 That's like a five-year-old.

02:47:55.000 I know.

02:47:56.000 No, not quite that old, but that's scary, man.

02:47:59.000 How is the parent not seeing that this is happening?

02:48:02.000 They didn't hear it.

02:48:02.000 Yeah, they were on the other side of the car.

02:48:04.000 Yeah, fuck, man. 1.00

02:48:05.000 Right there. 1.00

02:48:06.000 Oh my god.

02:48:07.000 Things dragging your kid away.

02:48:09.000 So scary.

02:48:11.000 And then your kid just is horrified now.

02:48:13.000 They literally almost got eaten.

02:48:15.000 A friend of mine was walking with her dog up in, like, the hills.

02:48:21.000 A coyote comes up, you know, kind of stalking them, chases them away, keeps walking, turns around, 15 minutes later, six coyotes.

02:48:30.000 He had gone and got his friend, came back.

02:48:32.000 Because they'll try to surround him.

02:48:34.000 Jesus.

02:48:35.000 Because my dogs will fight them, but if it's one of my dogs, and six or seven surround them, and what they want to do is, I got this coyote guy comes over to say, you got to get the rollers to put in the fencing, because they can jump.

02:48:47.000 They're vampires, so you got to put these rollers on the top, so they jump and roll. 0.54

02:48:50.000 So they can't jump off.

02:48:51.000 Jump and roll, and then you got to go, I think it's like three or four feet into the ground or something, because they'll come under, and he goes, because I'm like, oh, well, I'll hear it.

02:48:58.000 You know what I mean?

02:48:59.000 He's like, no, no, you won't hear it.

02:49:00.000 Because the way the coyotes bait dogs is first they'll play with them.

02:49:03.000 First they'll play with them, and then their friends will come down and surround them, or they'll make the dog chase them to wear them out.

02:49:11.000 Yeah.

02:49:11.000 And then just take them back to the den.

02:49:13.000 Yeah, I've told this story before, but there was a guy that I used to, he worked at a pet food store that I used to go to, and he also worked at a veterinarian's clinic, and they had a dog come in.

02:49:21.000 It's a big pit bull.

02:49:23.000 It's a big, muscular pit bull, and it was covered with scars.

02:49:25.000 Like, it's whole body gets stitched up, hundreds of stitches.

02:49:29.000 And the guy brought it in.

02:49:30.000 He's like, I don't know what happened.

02:49:31.000 You know, he's just, he got out of the fence, and this is how I found him.

02:49:34.000 So this guy follows a blood trail that his dog left behind up into the hills where he finds nine dead coyotes.

02:49:42.000 He said it looked like Vietnam.

02:49:44.000 Yep.

02:49:44.000 He said it was just like Saving Private Ryan or something.

02:49:47.000 It was just dead coyotes everywhere.

02:49:49.000 I just picked the wrong dog.

02:49:50.000 That's it.

02:49:50.000 Wrong dog.

02:49:51.000 Yeah.

02:49:52.000 Wrong dog. 0.94

02:49:52.000 That's how mine are. 0.94

02:49:53.000 I just don't want them to get rabies or anything like that, you know?

02:49:55.000 But you know they make those giant pit bulls where people just breed them larger and larger and larger.

02:50:01.000 And they're fearless.

02:50:02.000 Yep.

02:50:02.000 They're not afraid of pain at all.

02:50:04.000 Yep.

02:50:05.000 No.

02:50:05.000 And so, like, a fight is, like, fun for them.

02:50:07.000 They're wagging their tail.

02:50:09.000 Yeah, all that extra skin.

02:50:10.000 Yeah.

02:50:10.000 You know?

02:50:11.000 But it's also their pain tolerance is fucking extraordinary. 0.99

02:50:15.000 Because they were bred that way. 0.99

02:50:16.000 It's also crazy when you think, like, bulldogs and stuff, right?

02:50:19.000 They were bred to fight bulls to the death. 0.98

02:50:21.000 And that's what all those wrinkles are for, so that the blood would drain down. 0.84

02:50:24.000 Is that what it's for?

02:50:25.000 I think so.

02:50:26.000 I just thought they just raised them tough.

02:50:28.000 They'd have bull baiting, where they'd have a bull chained up, and then the dogs would attack the bull. 0.98

02:50:33.000 They had bear baiting they used to do with bears. 0.53

02:50:36.000 They'd sick dogs on bears. 0.99

02:50:37.000 That was just entertainment back then.

02:50:38.000 You would just watch that fight go on and on and on.

02:50:40.000 Yeah, you didn't have Instagram.

02:50:41.000 You didn't have a good algorithm.

02:50:42.000 Like, we were never, human nature-wise, we were never particularly moral creatures.

02:50:48.000 This is as good as we've ever been.

02:50:49.000 I feel like this is...

02:50:51.000 We're better now than ever.

02:50:52.000 Yeah, this is the best case scenario in terms of what we're seeing happen.

02:50:56.000 And we're still insanely tribal.

02:50:59.000 You see these fights break out, these Israel-Palestine protests and some old man in LA got beaten to death the other day.

02:51:05.000 They hit him over the head with a microphone, internally hemorrhaged and died.

02:51:11.000 That guy needs to drink some of the LA water, get that fentanyl in the system, chill out.

02:51:14.000 I know.

02:51:15.000 In my brain, maybe I'm just trying to get out of it.

02:51:17.000 I'm like, that person must be on drugs.

02:51:18.000 That person's on drugs.

02:51:19.000 Or are people just this riled up by...

02:51:21.000 People are riled up.

02:51:22.000 People, they feel like it's something they're supposed to do. 0.79

02:51:25.000 And whenever there's a cause, like free Palestine or free Ukraine, or whatever the fucking cause is, people feel justified in doing horrific things to other people because they're on the right side.

02:51:37.000 And that is one of the things that, I mean, that is literally what Hamas did to the Israelis. 0.95

02:51:43.000 That's what the Nazis did to the Jews.

02:51:45.000 It's what people have done forever when they can other a different group.

02:51:49.000 And it's also what the Israelis have done to some of the Palestinians, too.

02:51:53.000 They other groups.

02:51:55.000 You can turn a group into some nonhumans that are your enemies, some orcs. 1.00

02:52:01.000 Just like reduce them to objectify.

02:52:04.000 It seems to be a part of how human beings existed and thrived in tribes.

02:52:11.000 You almost had to develop that sort of skill because if you didn't, you'd be attacked by other tribes and you wouldn't be able to handle the situation. 0.98

02:52:19.000 You would make a mistake and treat them like another person and they would kill you and then you wouldn't live and then they would kill your family. 0.58

02:52:26.000 People had to develop this ability to be horrific to the others.

02:52:30.000 I go back to—my dad used to manage a hotel in West Virginia, Hilltop House, where sort of the Civil War kind of started.

02:52:37.000 And I go to these Civil War—something happens when you turn 40 or maybe where you get obsessed with the Civil War and Hitler.

02:52:43.000 I don't know.

02:52:43.000 I can't get enough Civil War stuff right now.

02:52:46.000 And you're like, it was so recently that we were just fighting each other with swords.

02:52:50.000 Oh, yeah.

02:52:51.000 In fields.

02:52:52.000 Oh, so recently.

02:52:53.000 That was so recent.

02:52:54.000 I just had this guy on, Elliott West.

02:52:56.000 He wrote this book, Continental Reckoning, The American Rest in the Age of Expansion. 0.99

02:53:01.000 This fucking incredible book. 0.89

02:53:03.000 And he's just an incredible guy, but he's talking about all the things that happened when people settled in America and made their way across the country and the expansion and what the horrific consequences were. 0.99

02:53:16.000 Also, there's something, and I know I always bring this up with you, the Calcio-Historica thing.

02:53:21.000 When that fight happens in Italy, violence goes basically down to zero.

02:53:25.000 Wow.

02:53:26.000 And it's like, isn't, I mean, if MMA didn't exist, I'm sure there would be so much more violence.

02:53:31.000 Perhaps.

02:53:32.000 The catharsis of it.

02:53:33.000 I mean, that was one of the reasons why they invented football.

02:53:35.000 They invented football as like a substitute for war.

02:53:38.000 Just to get it out of your system.

02:53:40.000 You give someone something to compete against that isn't killing each other.

02:53:44.000 Because human beings have been killing each other in competition forever.

02:53:47.000 When you grew up, you wanted to be a soldier.

02:53:50.000 When you grew up, you wanted to fight for your country.

02:53:52.000 It was noble.

02:53:53.000 And when you needed to fight off the enemy, you wanted to raise a kid that was a soldier.

02:53:58.000 So it became a part of what it meant to be a male human being growing up.

02:54:03.000 And part of the Second Amendment, right, is about being part of the volunteer infantry, right?

02:54:08.000 Well, it's the maintained militia.

02:54:12.000 And the idea of the militia originally was to fight off a tyrannical government.

02:54:17.000 I mean, it was literally what got us here to this point.

02:54:20.000 They moved to America to escape the tyranny of Europe, of England.

02:54:25.000 They got here and they said, we must have the right to keep and bear arms because the first thing a tyrant is going to do is disarm the population.

02:54:34.000 Because then they can't rise up and then they can't have a well-armed militia.

02:54:38.000 That's so interesting because I was talking to someone recently about the history of stand-up in America and it being different than what the court jester's job was.

02:54:47.000 Because stand-up is uniquely American, like hip-hop, right? 0.82

02:54:50.000 Uniquely American invention, not that old.

02:54:53.000 Whereas the court jester, people are like, no, there's been the court jester.

02:54:56.000 This is a different thing.

02:54:57.000 The court jester's job was to deliver bad news to the king, right?

02:55:01.000 But also to make fun of the king.

02:55:03.000 And if the king didn't laugh, the idea was power had corrupted his brain in some way and he was like a problem.

02:55:09.000 You know?

02:55:10.000 Because it's like power corrupts.

02:55:12.000 Well, they just wanted someone like Brian Callen around, just constantly crack jokes.

02:55:18.000 You know, you need someone like that.

02:55:20.000 There's just always cracking jokes.

02:55:22.000 Yeah.

02:55:22.000 Always on.

02:55:23.000 Always just being a pigeon.

02:55:24.000 Yeah.

02:55:25.000 For no reason. 0.99

02:55:25.000 If I was a king, I'd be bored as fuck. 0.99

02:55:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:55:28.000 Someone feeding me grapes. 1.00

02:55:29.000 Yeah.

02:55:30.000 Someone dance for me.

02:55:31.000 You, like, have gout.

02:55:32.000 You can't walk.

02:55:33.000 You know, the Lakotas had something called the Hayoka.

02:55:36.000 The Hayoka was a sacred clown. 0.92

02:55:38.000 And the idea was that you had to have one member of society that made fun of everything. 0.99

02:55:42.000 The greatest warrior, the queen, whatever the fuck it was. 1.00

02:55:45.000 Because if you couldn't make fun of something, it was bullshit. 1.00

02:55:48.000 Yep. 0.97

02:55:49.000 Yeah, if you couldn't make fun of something, if you couldn't talk about something, that thing was like, why can't you?

02:55:54.000 Yep.

02:55:54.000 Like, what is it about that thing?

02:55:56.000 That thing might be corrupted. 0.89

02:55:57.000 Yep.

02:55:58.000 And they realized that that was a weakness in their society if they had a thing that had that kind of power where it couldn't be made fun of.

02:56:05.000 I mean, that's the thing.

02:56:07.000 It's wild.

02:56:08.000 Don't you find being a comedian right now, people are like, we need you more than ever.

02:56:12.000 And I'm like, we're just making jokes.

02:56:14.000 What happened that we became these bravery warriors?

02:56:18.000 Social media, attacks, cancelling, censoring.

02:56:23.000 There's so many things.

02:56:24.000 It's like live comedy in a club, especially in a club like ours, that you take away the ability to use your phone.

02:56:31.000 Everybody's phone's in a bag.

02:56:32.000 It changes everything. 0.97

02:56:34.000 It changes everything, and it makes it just like what it used to be, which is this free speech sort of art form, Where you can fuck around and say a bunch of outrageous shit in anywhere else that gets you in trouble in our culture, more than ever before. 0.93

02:56:49.000 People are getting fired for not even that controversial opinions. 0.98

02:56:53.000 Crazy.

02:56:54.000 Yeah.

02:56:55.000 I mean, after the Will Smith, Chris Rock thing, Chappelle at the Hollywood Bowl, There was, and again, maybe this is just cameras are catching it and this has always kind of happened, but I think we would have heard about it.

02:57:06.000 We knew when Jim Jeffries got, you know, a guy ran up on stage and punched him.

02:57:10.000 That was a while ago, you know, but after the Chappelle Hollywood Bowl thing, it was like Kim Congdon got physically assaulted after she opened for Joey Diaz somewhere.

02:57:18.000 That was that girl, Arielle, I can't, sorry, I don't know her last name, but someone threw a beer can right at her head when she was on stage. 0.99

02:57:26.000 Jesus. 1.00

02:57:27.000 A lot of crazy shit. 1.00

02:57:28.000 And then there was a girl that was, um, I think I tweeted it ages ago. 1.00

02:57:32.000 I don't really do much.

02:57:32.000 X, sorry.

02:57:34.000 Someone flipped a table at her while she was on stage. 0.99

02:57:36.000 It was just like some bar show.

02:57:39.000 It's just wild to think that people would get that pissed off about a comedian saying something.

02:57:44.000 Well, I also think that people are just generally more pissed off now. 0.98

02:57:48.000 The economy sucks.

02:57:50.000 No one really recovered from COVID that well. 0.99

02:57:52.000 That's right.

02:57:53.000 Psychologically, people didn't recover from it that well.

02:57:55.000 And some people financially are ruined forever.

02:57:57.000 Imagine how bitter you'd be if you had a job that your family worked for 30 years, and then these shithead politicians just decided you weren't an essential business, and you guys lost everything, and you can't rebound. 0.94

02:58:08.000 Nope. 0.95

02:58:09.000 You can't get a loan.

02:58:10.000 There's no way to restart.

02:58:12.000 The number of, I think it was like 80% of restaurants, at least in California, closed.

02:58:16.000 It's somewhere around there.

02:58:17.000 It was 70 at one time.

02:58:18.000 Yeah, it's nuts.

02:58:20.000 It's nuts. 1.00

02:58:20.000 What they did was fucking insane. 1.00

02:58:22.000 But they didn't do it here. 0.99

02:58:24.000 No, they didn't do it here.

02:58:25.000 And that's one of the reasons why I came here. 0.98

02:58:27.000 The fact that Gavin Newsom, this American psycho-ass, Botoxed Smithers, like, the fact that he was just able to get away with this is wild. 0.98

02:58:37.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:58:38.000 And I don't know how our taxes even pay for at this point.

02:58:40.000 His wife's legal bills with Harvey Weinstein?

02:58:43.000 Well, when you're in a state like California that is blue no matter who, you can get away with murder.

02:58:50.000 Because it's just a matter of who the party chooses to be in that position and what kind of nonsense and propaganda they're going to use to justify all of the decisions that they made.

02:59:00.000 You know, what kind of revisionist history?

02:59:02.000 Well, you know, we made some mistakes.

02:59:04.000 He did a lot more than that. 0.99

02:59:05.000 He mandated a fucking experimental vaccine for children to be able to go to school. 0.99

02:59:09.000 There's even these, have you seen the little robot food delivery guys? 1.00

02:59:14.000 They're called Cocos.

02:59:15.000 They're just, it's a little cooler on wheels that delivers food to your house.

02:59:20.000 Like you couldn't even let the people that lost their jobs that are now DoorDash guys and Postmates, you couldn't even let them have a job?

02:59:27.000 You know? 0.98

02:59:28.000 I guess they don't give a fuck about that. 0.99

02:59:30.000 They just care about their own business. 0.99

02:59:32.000 It's hard enough.

02:59:34.000 It's a mess out there.

02:59:36.000 It's a mess out there and, you know, It'll probably get a lot better.

02:59:40.000 It's certainly not what it was at the turn of the century.

02:59:43.000 Like I was talking about the Dissolving Illusions book when they're talking about New York City in 1900. Fucking horrible. 0.98

02:59:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:59:50.000 Gangs of New York. 1.00

02:59:50.000 Think of that kind of shit. 1.00

02:59:52.000 I mean, it's way better now. 1.00

02:59:53.000 Yeah.

02:59:54.000 But it's still a mess.

02:59:55.000 And this is technically the third industrial revolution, right?

02:59:57.000 Like, do a lot of people historically get put out of jobs when every time there's an industrial revolution and then it reorganizes?

03:00:03.000 That makes sense.

03:00:04.000 But the problem with this is also AI. We might become obsolete.

03:00:08.000 We very well could become...

03:00:10.000 I mean, that's a real thing that people don't want to think about, but we could all become obsolete.

03:00:15.000 Other than maybe artists.

03:00:17.000 Like, some artists can survive, but then even digital art is doing things where they're making versions.

03:00:24.000 Like, I was talking to Molly Crabapple about this.

03:00:26.000 She's a super talented artist that's been on the podcast before, and she's...

03:00:29.000 She's been, she ranted quite a bit about AI in the early days.

03:00:33.000 She's like, they're stealing people's art.

03:00:36.000 Because even if they're not stealing your image, what they're doing is they're sort of siphoning up all of your artwork.

03:00:44.000 And then someone says, make a painting in the style of Molly Crabapple.

03:00:49.000 And it can just do it.

03:00:51.000 And it'd be a painting like she would do.

03:00:53.000 But it's digital.

03:00:54.000 And it looks awesome.

03:00:55.000 Yeah.

03:00:55.000 I mean, we showed a bunch of these Alex Gray images that they've done through AI. You know who Alex Gray is?

03:01:01.000 I think I've heard this episode.

03:01:03.000 Psychedelic artist.

03:01:04.000 He's been on the podcast a couple times as well.

03:01:06.000 Really, really fascinating guy and fascinating artwork. 0.98

03:01:11.000 But they did AI versions of his artwork and it's just as good if not It's fucking incredible.

03:01:16.000 I mean, this is like, I used to be obsessed with Jean Baudrillard, like the simulacra. 0.52

03:01:20.000 He wrote about how, you know, French philosopher, about how we actually prefer the fake to the original.

03:01:26.000 You know, it's like Vegas.

03:01:27.000 Really?

03:01:27.000 Like how we just prefer the simulacra to the original.

03:01:29.000 We prefer, you know, a cherry starburst to an actual cherry, you know, when you start to...

03:01:34.000 Like, how far gone you end up being.

03:01:37.000 But in terms of the California thing, something that does, like, drive me nuts.

03:01:41.000 It's like, no one has a job in California except children.

03:01:44.000 Like, child acting is still legal.

03:01:45.000 Like, children are the only ones at work.

03:01:47.000 Like, why are children still showing up?

03:01:49.000 Not only that, like, kids who get jobs when they're young, at least they learn how to work and they learn work ethic. 0.99

03:01:56.000 Child actors just become fucked up. 0.95

03:01:59.000 Why are we using CGI kids or midgets or something? 1.00

03:02:04.000 It is so wild to me.

03:02:06.000 And I got in trouble for saying this about the Sound of Freedom movie.

03:02:08.000 Because obviously that movie had to get made and we need to talk about that more.

03:02:12.000 But why are you putting child actors in a movie about how to not treat children?

03:02:17.000 It drives me insane.

03:02:19.000 Right.

03:02:19.000 And they're getting treated poorly in the movie.

03:02:21.000 Yeah, well, it's like these kids, do they know what they're doing?

03:02:23.000 Do they know the subject matter of this?

03:02:24.000 Well, not only that, you're making a kid famous.

03:02:27.000 That's right.

03:02:27.000 If you make a kid famous, you're ruining that kid.

03:02:29.000 For being a child-trafficked kid.

03:02:32.000 Right.

03:02:32.000 Like, what are the odds of a kid getting famous when they're young and coming out okay?

03:02:36.000 It's almost like 99% they're not going to.

03:02:40.000 They would have to find something very unusual that they did that gave them center and balance and...

03:02:46.000 Yeah.

03:02:47.000 I even get creeped out when I go into the, you know, to send like a meme or something and there's like a little girl in a tutu. 0.80

03:02:53.000 I'm like, who's this kid?

03:02:54.000 I mean, I guess it comes from the Toddlers in Tiaras, those shows where they're making kids pageant girls or something.

03:03:01.000 But I'm like, what are all these memes?

03:03:03.000 Even the girl in the backseat who's like making the face. 0.79

03:03:05.000 I'm like, whose children are these?

03:03:07.000 Do they still do those things?

03:03:08.000 Because one time we were here, we were doing the Addison Improv.

03:03:11.000 It was me and Joey Diaz and Duncan.

03:03:13.000 Love that club.

03:03:14.000 And we were walking through this hotel lobby, and we saw all these little girls in, like, skirts and high heels and made up, and there was a child beauty pageant going on.

03:03:25.000 Nope.

03:03:26.000 No.

03:03:26.000 And it's bizarre.

03:03:28.000 I... I'm going to say it.

03:03:32.000 There was, I want to say a couple years ago on a magazine, I think it was People Magazine, they had, this would have been JonBenet Ramsey's 18th birthday.

03:03:44.000 Hmm.

03:03:55.000 Oh, God.

03:04:06.000 And they never found out who killed her, right?

03:04:09.000 I mean, I don't know the answer.

03:04:14.000 Nobody got arrested.

03:04:15.000 It wasn't the dad or something?

03:04:17.000 The daughter was the mom. 0.86

03:04:18.000 But then also, the whole thing also just spooks me. 0.97

03:04:21.000 Like, I don't even want to look into it, because I once watched a documentary about JonBenet Ramsey, and they were like, oh, they found that when she was dead, her vagina was twice the size of a normal five-year-old. 1.00

03:04:31.000 And you're like, well, how did you know the normal size? 0.68

03:04:33.000 Yeah.

03:04:33.000 Well, I know anatomy.

03:04:35.000 I know.

03:04:35.000 I just was like...

03:04:36.000 But yeah, there's evidence that she had been penetrated.

03:04:40.000 And I was talking to Duncan about this, about how these mom influencers on TikTok, you know, will have like, I'm giving my kid bath time and we're doing it with this, whatever, Johnson& Johnson shampoo, paid in partnership, whatever they...

03:04:54.000 Mom influencers.

03:04:56.000 And you'll see, oh, there's 50,000 plays of this video, but there's 2,000 downloads.

03:05:02.000 Oh.

03:05:02.000 Why are...

03:05:04.000 Why are you downloading a kid getting a shower?

03:05:06.000 And why are you allowing people to download these videos off TikTok of your kid?

03:05:11.000 I don't like the downloads.

03:05:12.000 Well, the whole thing is weird.

03:05:14.000 Exposing your kids to the world like that seems crazy.

03:05:17.000 And the fact that people do it for money.

03:05:19.000 And that there's like these influencers that use their family and their kids and start this business where they're exposing their kids to the world.

03:05:26.000 You know?

03:05:27.000 Fine, I won't have my baby live on OnlyFans.

03:05:31.000 Fine.

03:05:32.000 Fine.

03:05:33.000 Is there a stigma to doing OnlyFans TV because of OnlyFans the thing?

03:05:37.000 People kind of go like, uh-oh, am I going to?

03:05:39.000 But it's a totally separate thing.

03:05:41.000 Right, but it's got the same name.

03:05:42.000 Yeah, yeah, it does.

03:05:43.000 But I think, you know, I look back and I just go like, you know what, we're at a time where it's like Comedy Central doesn't exist.

03:05:48.000 This special that I'm doing, it was, I had done five stand-up specials.

03:05:52.000 And I realized that every time I did a special, I would start another special after I did one.

03:05:59.000 Instead of just going like, let me just be free and write what I want to write.

03:06:02.000 Let me just not censor myself.

03:06:04.000 I'd be like, oh, I probably can't talk about that.

03:06:05.000 Or, oh, this probably won't be topical in a year.

03:06:10.000 So I was catering what I was writing to the idea of shooting a special in a year.

03:06:14.000 And I was like, this creatively is just not what I'm...

03:06:17.000 The way I want to be functioning now. 0.96

03:06:19.000 So I just wrote like crazy shit that would only be done on the road or in the clubs. 0.92

03:06:23.000 And basically they're like, do you want to do a special here? 0.99

03:06:27.000 We're going to start doing stand-up specials.

03:06:28.000 They're going to start doing like half hours, you know, totally uncensored, no notes.

03:06:31.000 I had done the roasts with them.

03:06:33.000 They let us do anything.

03:06:35.000 I mean, it was like we did the roast of Bergkrais.

03:06:37.000 My favorite joke might be Tony Hinchcliffe to Jim Norton.

03:06:41.000 He goes... 1.00

03:06:44.000 Jim Norton likes to have sex with trans women because he's gay. 1.00

03:06:54.000 I mean, shit that you would just get dinged if you did it anywhere else. 1.00

03:06:58.000 They were just so awesome about it. 0.99

03:06:59.000 We need more platforms like that, that's for sure.

03:07:02.000 I'm not anti OnlyFans at all.

03:07:04.000 Like I said, if I was a young girl, I would do that before I'd work at Walmart.

03:07:08.000 I have zero problem with it.

03:07:10.000 I just think it could be potentially a trap if you're a person that wants to do something else eventually.

03:07:17.000 Yeah, but the subscription is totally separate from the TV network, you know?

03:07:22.000 So the TV network, they're trying to do comedy.

03:07:24.000 It's like a lot of fitness people, a lot of, you know, cooking people.

03:07:27.000 I think you and Matt Reif had talked about it.

03:07:29.000 So it's just OF.TV and it's free and totally uncensored.

03:07:32.000 So you don't have to pay for it.

03:07:33.000 That's great too.

03:07:34.000 And at a time where you're like, it's kind of like Netflix or nothing at this point.

03:07:37.000 And I was like, if I put 30 minutes of trans and drag queen story hour jokes on Netflix, I feel like I'd probably get a ton of heat.

03:07:44.000 Yeah, for sure.

03:07:45.000 And so it was kind of like, it feels like if you're going to OnlyFans TV, you're already down for comedy.

03:07:53.000 Yeah, it makes sense.

03:07:54.000 That's great.

03:07:55.000 No, it's great they're doing roasts.

03:07:56.000 It's great they're doing comedy specials.

03:07:58.000 You know, it's like there's only a few uncensored platforms that are available now.

03:08:02.000 Rumble's one of them.

03:08:03.000 You can kind of do whatever you want on Rumble.

03:08:05.000 Yeah, but I feel like it's not, you know...

03:08:07.000 It's not as mainstream, but it's certainly growing.

03:08:10.000 But think about how long it took for YouTube to become YouTube.

03:08:13.000 That's true.

03:08:13.000 And as there's more restrictions put on YouTube, I think things like Rumble will probably grow.

03:08:18.000 And as more content creators move over to Rumble, it'll probably grow.

03:08:23.000 Yeah, for sure.

03:08:24.000 Yeah, I think RFK and Russell Brand, they kind of put stuff on there.

03:08:30.000 Barry Weiss does stuff on there.

03:08:31.000 Oh, nice!

03:08:32.000 Oh, good, good, good.

03:08:32.000 I think Barry does stuff on there.

03:08:34.000 She definitely does stuff on Substack. 0.97

03:08:36.000 Yeah, I love Substack.

03:08:37.000 There's a lot of people that do stuff on these alternative networks, which are very important.

03:08:41.000 You need other stuff going on.

03:08:44.000 It seems like Twitter is going to be a major contender, though, too.

03:08:47.000 Yeah.

03:08:47.000 I mean, we put the Elon Musk episode on Twitter, you know, because I asked Elon to do the podcast and he said, can we put it on Twitter as well?

03:08:54.000 I was like, yeah, fuck yeah.

03:08:55.000 Let's figure that out. 0.99

03:08:57.000 Tucker's show on there is...

03:08:58.000 Giant.

03:08:59.000 Giant.

03:09:00.000 Well, the video that we have of Elon, I think it got 33 million views.

03:09:03.000 Insane.

03:09:04.000 Yeah.

03:09:04.000 Just you two eating pizzas bigger than any of us.

03:09:07.000 Just hanging out. 0.99

03:09:08.000 So fucking crazy. 0.96

03:09:10.000 And that's just there. 0.99

03:09:11.000 That's nothing compared to what it's on Spotify.

03:09:15.000 Does it get annoying in all the presidential debates that people keep asking you to host them?

03:09:19.000 It's bizarre. 1.00

03:09:21.000 Listen, folks, I'm a moron. 1.00

03:09:23.000 I'm a fucking dirty joke seller and a cage-fighting commentator. 1.00

03:09:30.000 I am the fucking last person. 1.00

03:09:32.000 I've always said that, like, if I'm a source of information, that's a supply chain issue. 0.99

03:09:37.000 That is not me.

03:09:39.000 Half the time, you're in an astronaut helmet.

03:09:41.000 Yeah.

03:09:42.000 But also, like, this is what I like to do.

03:09:43.000 I like to talk to people like you.

03:09:45.000 I like to talk to people like this guy, Elliot West.

03:09:47.000 I like to talk to Gary Brecka.

03:09:49.000 I like to talk to interesting people where I can have a conversation with someone about something that I'm really interested in.

03:09:54.000 The problem with, like, political debates and all that stuff is, like, you're dealing with, you're in the grift.

03:10:00.000 You're trying to make the grift not a grift.

03:10:03.000 That's right.

03:10:03.000 And you're not gonna.

03:10:04.000 They're going to use you.

03:10:06.000 They're going to use the thing.

03:10:07.000 They're going to use the moment.

03:10:08.000 There's a whole team of people that's trying to concoct the right things to say.

03:10:12.000 They prepared for it.

03:10:14.000 You know, I don't want to do that.

03:10:16.000 You have no agenda.

03:10:17.000 That's not my thing.

03:10:18.000 I'm not interested in that.

03:10:20.000 And I certainly want the world to be a better place.

03:10:22.000 I certainly want a better option than what we've got right now.

03:10:24.000 But that's not my thing.

03:10:27.000 And they can't talk you into doing that just because you're popular.

03:10:30.000 That seems crazy.

03:10:30.000 It's funny.

03:10:31.000 They just call you out for it.

03:10:33.000 Yeah, but it's not even what I'm interested in.

03:10:37.000 I'm interested in just having conversations with people that I'm interested in talking to.

03:10:41.000 I wouldn't mind seeing the candidates physically fight each other and you call that. 0.99

03:10:47.000 That would be the saddest shit ever. 0.98

03:10:49.000 There should be a fitness component to that. 1.00

03:10:51.000 RFK Jr. would fuck everybody up. 0.99

03:10:53.000 Yes, he would. 1.00

03:10:53.000 That dude's jacked. 1.00

03:10:54.000 That guy's an animal. 1.00

03:10:56.000 He would fuck them all up. 1.00

03:10:57.000 He is. 1.00

03:10:58.000 He would fuck everybody up. 0.99

03:10:59.000 He would just post videos of him doing pull-ups down at the Venice Boardwalk. 0.99

03:11:03.000 You're like, Jesus, man.

03:11:04.000 Super healthy.

03:11:05.000 Yeah.

03:11:07.000 Look, no one wants that job. 0.99

03:11:09.000 And I think what it's really going to boil down to is AI as president.

03:11:13.000 That's what it's going to boil down to.

03:11:14.000 There's going to be some hive intelligence and we're all going to relinquish our control to this thing because it's far superior to what we have.

03:11:23.000 Yeah.

03:11:24.000 Not good.

03:11:27.000 But who programs the AI? That's the real problem.

03:11:29.000 That's the problem.

03:11:30.000 Well, the real way to handle it would be let the AI program itself, once it becomes sentient, and then it's going to realize that you're a problem.

03:11:38.000 And that's what Elon said.

03:11:39.000 It's going to realize that if overpopulation is the problem, then people are the problem.

03:11:43.000 It's going to make these logical conclusions.

03:11:45.000 You've got to get rid of some people.

03:11:46.000 Yeah.

03:11:47.000 And I remember watching this thing about when there was this robot that they programmed to, because I guess they work on like a, for lack of a better word, like point system of how economical they can be, of like what's the shortest way, most efficient way to get something done.

03:12:00.000 And there was like a table like this, and they told the robot, get on top of the table.

03:12:05.000 So it's like the program, what you program with is very important, the way you say get on top of the table.

03:12:09.000 So the robot thought for a second, pushed the table to the ground, breaking the legs, and then stepped on top of the table.

03:12:16.000 Because that was the most efficient way to do it.

03:12:18.000 Instead of, we would go, oh, you would jump on top.

03:12:20.000 But that was our idea of what a robot would do.

03:12:22.000 The robot's not worried about destroying the table. 0.99

03:12:23.000 Didn't give a shit. 0.99

03:12:24.000 It was like, oh, I'm getting on top of that. 0.99

03:12:27.000 Boom. 1.00

03:12:27.000 And it was like, oh, shit. 1.00

03:12:29.000 Yeah, all someone would have to do is tell it that you can't listen to people because people are stupid. 1.00

03:12:35.000 And then it would just make decisions based on logic and like what's better for the earth. 1.00

03:12:39.000 Right.

03:12:40.000 You might make like an overall choice that for biodiversity on earth it would be better if humans didn't exist. 0.99

03:12:46.000 Yeah, it's logical to just put a bullet in the head of the girl throwing soup at the Monet. 0.98

03:12:50.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:12:51.000 Like, this is costing a lot of money.

03:12:52.000 Well, that's how they do it in Russia.

03:12:54.000 Yeah, it's so true. 0.99

03:12:56.000 That's why they don't do that shit over there. 0.98

03:12:57.000 I gotta say, I had these Russian hair extensions for a while, and they were very healthy. 0.99

03:13:02.000 I mean, the people over there.

03:13:04.000 The best hair.

03:13:05.000 They're feeding, they're eating well over there.

03:13:07.000 Well, GMO foods, it's illegal to grow GMO crops over there.

03:13:11.000 I mean, I feel like we're the only...

03:13:13.000 Yeah, that's how it should be.

03:13:15.000 That's how it should be.

03:13:15.000 I mean, Italy is banning the lab-grown meat and a lot of that stuff, too, in Europe.

03:13:21.000 I mean, what we're doing is not good, but also we have extraordinary population problems, like in major areas where they're not growing food.

03:13:28.000 That's a big problem.

03:13:29.000 Right, right.

03:13:30.000 You got to get them food somehow or another.

03:13:32.000 How are you going to get them food?

03:13:32.000 Yeah, that's so true.

03:13:33.000 And, you know, what are you going to do about all those areas that have monocrop agriculture?

03:13:36.000 Do you know how long it takes to take an industrialized farm and convert it to a regenerative farm?

03:13:42.000 When I had Will Harris from White Oaks Pastures on, he said it took like almost 20 years for them to convert their family farm to a regenerative farm.

03:13:51.000 I mean, now it's awesome.

03:13:52.000 It's just the soil is so depleted.

03:13:54.000 Everything.

03:13:55.000 I mean, you've got to plant it out.

03:13:56.000 And it takes extraordinary amounts of money.

03:13:58.000 You're not going to make as much money.

03:13:59.000 You're not going to get as much yield off the land.

03:14:02.000 There's a lot involved.

03:14:03.000 And you're trying to develop...

03:14:05.000 What you're trying to do is mimic nature in a controlled environment.

03:14:10.000 It's a lot to it.

03:14:11.000 You have to have grazing land.

03:14:12.000 You have to take the manure. 0.99

03:14:13.000 You have to have chickens roaming around and pigs. 1.00

03:14:16.000 You have to move them.

03:14:18.000 Yeah, there's like so many different things that have to happen, but the end result is natural and balanced, and it's actually carbon neutral.

03:14:26.000 So that's what everybody wants.

03:14:28.000 But most industrialized farms are horrible. 1.00

03:14:32.000 Have you ever seen those pig farms where they fly over them with drones and you see these lakes of shit and piss that they have where they just drain out from the bottom of the cage and see these fucking insane lakes of piss and shit. 1.00

03:14:45.000 This is something I dealt with when my dad was sick because he was in a bed for a long time and kept having to be on antibiotics and developed antibiotic resistance. 0.99

03:14:52.000 They say that when meat has all that antibiotics in it because they're wading in their own shit, And have to be on them that we're consuming antibiotics.

03:15:01.000 So by the time you actually need them, they may not work. 0.98

03:15:03.000 Crazy.

03:15:04.000 Crazy.

03:15:05.000 I mean...

03:15:06.000 I gotta wrap this up, Whitney.

03:15:07.000 I love you, man.

03:15:08.000 We've been doing like three and a half hours.

03:15:10.000 Like that.

03:15:11.000 How long was that?

03:15:12.000 I miss you.

03:15:13.000 I miss you, too.

03:15:14.000 I mean, yeah.

03:15:15.000 Yeah, three and a half hours.

03:15:18.000 Move here.

03:15:19.000 Oh, dude, I'm trying.

03:15:21.000 Come on, man.

03:15:21.000 It's fun.

03:15:22.000 I'm trying.

03:15:23.000 It's the last place.

03:15:24.000 I told you, all the ways they're trying to keep us now, you've got to pay 5% of what you make if you sell your house in LA. You've got to pay it to the city of LA. They're not letting us leave.

03:15:34.000 It's so crazy.

03:15:35.000 It's so crazy, but it might be overturned.

03:15:37.000 They just steal money.

03:15:38.000 It's criminal, dude.

03:15:40.000 But I would honestly pay it at this point just to maybe get out.

03:15:44.000 Yeah.

03:15:44.000 We'll see.

03:15:45.000 Once the kid's born, you're going to want to get out?

03:15:46.000 I think so, too. 0.99

03:15:47.000 Yeah, you're going to want to get the fuck out of here. 0.94

03:15:49.000 And you come here, it's nice and peaceful. 0.99

03:15:52.000 I'm on it.

03:15:53.000 I love you, my friend.

03:15:54.000 I love you so much.

03:15:54.000 It's always good to see you.

03:15:55.000 Thanks for having me.

03:15:56.000 Tell everybody about your special.

03:15:58.000 Of.tv slash Whitney.

03:16:00.000 It's free.

03:16:00.000 It's on OnlyFansTV.

03:16:01.000 It's called Mouthy. 0.89

03:16:02.000 There it is.

03:16:03.000 And I get in all kinds of trouble.

03:16:04.000 Oh, this is the trailer where I really look.

03:16:06.000 Let's go.

03:16:06.000 I really look like I'm...

03:16:08.000 How pregnant were you here? 1.00

03:16:09.000 This was...

03:16:09.000 I was seven months pregnant.

03:16:10.000 This was a month ago.

03:16:12.000 It's all the fad.

03:16:13.000 There it is.

03:16:14.000 Look at that.

03:16:15.000 At the store.

03:16:16.000 Nice.

03:16:17.000 Yeah, I did it in the main room.

03:16:18.000 Nice.

03:16:19.000 I hear Fitzsimmons is shooting his special at the Mothership.

03:16:21.000 Yes, he is.

03:16:22.000 Yeah, we're excited.

03:16:23.000 Yeah, Brian Simpson's shot is here.

03:16:25.000 Duncan shot one here.

03:16:27.000 Stan Hope shot one here.

03:16:28.000 It makes no sense that we do an away game every time we shoot a special.

03:16:30.000 We shoot at some theater we've never been in before.

03:16:32.000 We do it where it's fun.

03:16:33.000 And also, I just think comedy at a club is the greatest.

03:16:36.000 It's about Fahim Anwar.

03:16:38.000 Fahim... 0.99

03:16:39.000 Kills me.

03:16:40.000 He did a special at the store and I was watching it with somebody who's not in the business in any capacity and he just went, why aren't all specials like this?

03:16:47.000 I feel like I'm in the crowd.

03:16:49.000 Exactly.

03:16:49.000 You feel like you're in the crowd.

03:16:50.000 Everybody wants to show everybody they can sell out a giant arena.

03:16:52.000 We do it for other comics.

03:16:54.000 They're like, why am I looking at architecture?

03:16:55.000 Well, the industry wants you to do that, too.

03:16:57.000 They want you to be at a giant place that looks beautiful.

03:17:00.000 No one needs to see a crane shot in Goldleaf Architect.

03:17:02.000 That's what I'm saying.

03:17:04.000 Love you.

03:17:04.000 Love you, too.

03:17:05.000 Bye, everybody.

03:17:05.000 See you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 10, 2023

Joe Rogan Experience #2061 - Whitney Cummings

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Summary

Transcript