In this episode, we talk about birds, foie gras, and why we should stop eating them. Also, we discuss the fact that birds don t give a shit about you, and that's a good thing because they don't even give a fuck about you. We also talk about why we shouldn't be allowed to have steakhouses in California, and how we should be able to eat steaks outside in the sun in the summer without getting sunburned. We also discuss why it's a bad idea to have chickens in cages and why you should just shoot them outside of your home if they're not eating enough calories and fat. And we also talk a little bit about how much we love birds and why they're cunts. We hope you enjoy this episode and that it makes you think about why you shouldn't have birds in your home. Also, if you don't like birds, you should get a gun to shoot them out of your window because they aren't eating enough of their own shit. Thanks for listening to this episode of Thick & Thin, we really appreciate it. Thank you so much for tuning in, and we hope you have a great rest of the week. Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ & Rory xoxo, Caitlyn & Sarah Music: "Alyssa" - The Good, The Bad, the Good, the Bad, The Ugly, the Ugly and the Cunty" - "A.S.A. (feat. & the CUNty Duck) (Music: "Goodbye" by Ian Dorsch and "The CUNTY Duck" (featuring: "Fooie Gras" by Squeen) - "Cullen's Song" by & "The Good, Good, Bad, Goodbyes" by The Good Bad and the Badly Bad, "Cunty Duck" by "Piggy" by FOOIE GRASTS ( ) , "The Bad, Badbye, "Foe Gras and the Great, Goodbye" by Mr. ( ) and "CUNDERSTANDING" by Ms. BOBBYE ( ) - "PODCASTING" ( ) & "FOOIEGRAS ( ) by , "FRIENDS" ( is a song about birds and other things that don't care about you?
00:00:00.000My theory is always, it's probably not scientifically based whatsoever, but my theory has always been that the things that are really hard to catch, those are the ones that are better for you.
00:00:35.000We've tricked animals to get so obese that they're on the verge of death because they're just packing fat everywhere in all their muscle tissue.
00:02:52.000I'm getting a gun just to shoot these birds outside of our window.
00:02:56.000There's beautiful birds that they're building a nest on our house and they chirp every morning and I wake up to this wonderful bird song and it enrages my husband.
00:06:27.000No, but it was like 2 in the afternoon and I'm like, just sitting on the couch, dick in my hand, laptop open, and I hear a fucking gunshot, but it sounds like somebody's on the balcony.
00:06:38.000It's not like a distant, it's 2 in the afternoon, sun's out and you hear, bang!
00:07:16.000Some guy had gone up to a guy on 6th Street, like 2 in the afternoon, shot him with a.357 right in the chest, one shot, and then put his hands up, got arrested.
00:08:45.000And the other thing was, every night, we also were a block, I don't know if you remember, at this point it would be almost two years ago, on 6th Street, just a couple blocks from WeWares, where this El Salvadorian guy was crossing the street drunk.
00:10:49.000So it was just someone really hated someone.
00:10:52.000Well, it turns out, it kind of came out that he was dealing, I guess he was dealing some pretty major weight, so this was like a retaliation.
00:11:28.000They say that the one way that's the most difficult to catch someone is if they just do something random, like walk in somewhere, shoot someone and kill them, and then leave.
00:12:28.000Like Caracas, Venezuela has, like, I think our, our murder capital always fluctuates between like, New Orleans, Baltimore, Detroit, you know, sometimes it used to be like LA, New York, Miami gets in there.
00:12:42.000And you're talking about in the 200 to 400 kind of fluctuation of murders.
00:12:48.000And you take a city like Caracas, Venezuela has over a thousand.
00:15:07.000Because his picture was all over the news at that point.
00:15:09.000Like this was like the height of the fever.
00:15:11.000Imagine how horrifying that would feel to see that guy in your neighborhood after his picture had been all over the news and there he is right there.
00:16:02.000There was, like, a time when I was, like, a stupid teenager and I was high and I'd take a ride with someone and you're like, I'm going to fucking die!
00:17:47.000I've walked into radio stations, and the assumption is, maybe they've seen photographs of me, and they're like, oh, she's going to be a cunty blonde.
00:17:55.000And sometimes I sense it, like the assumption is that I'll be a dick to them.
00:19:28.000I was like, I have this, I feel this unspoken animosity that you have towards me, like over the years, because I'd, and I thought, you know, maybe I'm projecting, maybe that's my bullshit that I'm projecting on him.
00:19:40.000And, and I was like, I just sense that you don't like girls, like you hate women.
00:19:44.000And he's like, you know, maybe a little bit, you're right, because I came up with a comedy store, and I was rolling with those boys.
00:19:50.000I mean, so I think he had a little bit of the comedy store.
00:20:41.000It's the dumbest stuff that comedians and entertainers and I'm sure folks in all sorts of walks of life entertain themselves with.
00:20:49.000They let their mind go into these unfixable little circles where you look at someone else's success as somehow or another that's bad for you.
00:21:57.000But I think there's a little something to being competitive with your peers, but it should never be negative.
00:22:06.000You've got to keep it from being something where it's a consuming thing.
00:22:12.000When I see people, and I've seen it, I've seen it firsthand, like recently, comics that were talking about a comic that was successful, and they were talking shit about them.
00:22:23.000And I was listening to them talking shit about them, and I can see the...
00:22:27.000It didn't matter what they were saying.
00:25:51.000You run into other comics on the road who are, and a lot of times they'll start with, like, I used to live in L.A. And you're like, oh yeah, how's that?
00:25:58.000And they're like, fuck that place, man.
00:27:09.000There's a lot of great stuff in LA. But the comedy clubs, I mean, where is it that you have a city that has, like, Pasadena Ice House is only 20 minutes away, okay?
00:27:17.000You got, right there on Melrose, you got the Improv, one of the greatest clubs in the country.
00:27:21.000You got the Laugh Stop, or the Laugh Factory, rather, and the Comedy Store.
00:28:56.000That can happen though, but you know, whenever there's a bar, you run into the possibility that someone might try to rob people coming out of the bar.
00:29:02.000Because people are drunk, and when drunk people come out of a bar and you rob them, I'm like, what the fuck are the cops going to do about that?
00:29:41.000You're right, though, that when you're on the road, especially if you spend four or five days, and you go out kind of more the third and fourth day, and you're like, this is a different speed, a smaller city.
00:31:00.000They fucking party hard down there in Fort Lauderdale.
00:31:02.000I think South Florida's all about, you know, you go down there and you realize that if you go actually into Miami, that you can go to places that close at 5 and that open at 5.30 a.m.
00:33:56.000That's when you're speaking about Puerto Rican, right?
00:33:59.000This was after the Puerto Rican guy, yeah.
00:34:01.000And I remember I had this boss who, like, if somebody came in the door and she had to ring somebody up at the register at the same time, it was like a total meltdown.
00:34:08.000Like, her brain couldn't process two things at once.
00:34:11.000And I know she was a tweaker in the past.
00:36:35.000And she would go over and play pool and stare at you.
00:36:38.000She was really like a character in a movie.
00:36:40.000I remember me and my friend Johnny B were sitting there, we were watching her once, and she was giving us crazy googly eyes while she was knocking balls around the table.
00:36:47.000She would play pool for like 20 minutes at a time and then bring the balls back.
00:36:51.000So while she's doing this, she's playing, doing googly eyes, and Johnny looks at me, and my friend Johnny was like, this is a really streetwise kid.
00:37:01.000And people would say it's too over the top.
00:37:04.000They go, you gotta cut that character back.
00:37:06.000Nobody's gonna believe this character.
00:37:08.000Some fucking crazy bitch comes in all methed out and starts shooting balls around, giving people googly eyes, and she would put like a leg up in the air while she would make a shot and try to be like a ballerina or something.
00:37:34.000It seemed like there might have been some crazy mixed in with the drugs, too.
00:37:38.000It seems like there was a little bit of self-medicating going on.
00:37:41.000I like that there's always, with that type of person, with a crazy and or drug person, there's a real line between you being around them and being amused and then backing off because you're kind of scared of them.
00:39:20.000That's why they, you know, you've seen like I Survived, the woman was like kidnapped and these people that were messed out just stabbing her and, you know, cutting her slice.
00:39:30.000Then they came back and they hit her with a car, they set her on fire.
00:40:29.000So he definitely had some use of heroin.
00:40:31.000There's definitely a correlation between heroin and good music.
00:40:33.000Yeah, I mean, I don't want to say that that was his number one thing, but, I mean, Hendrix obviously was really into acid as well, and obviously a fucking musical genius.
00:40:40.000There was just some shit that some dude can tune into that the average person can't, and he could just nail it.
00:40:49.000I think he would have been fucking amazing if he did nothing, if he just drank water and fucking grapefruits.
00:48:29.000Most of those guys, they were looking to party at all times.
00:48:32.000Pool players are some of the wildest human beings.
00:48:34.000People that have actually made a commitment to trying to make their entire living off of tricking people to gamble with them that don't play as good as them and then betting all your money on that.
00:50:54.000When we were interacting, if she would bum me out, I just couldn't wait to get the fuck away from her and get back to that pool hall where I knew some crazy shit was going on.
00:51:06.000I knew there was two dudes who were gambling on roaches to see which roach could get to the corner first.
00:51:12.000And it was like yelling, man, yo, you can't coach the roach, bro.
00:51:31.000And it was a bunch of men who really didn't want to grow up.
00:51:33.000And my friend Max Eberle, who's a professional, he said that there was, at one point in time in this country, there was a bachelor class of men that never wanted to get married.
00:51:43.000They just didn't want to do it, and a lot of those guys would go to pool halls.
00:51:46.000And that's one of the reasons why pool halls got such a bad reputation, is that everybody else, in his mind, and Max is a really nice guy, He's a very easy-going guy, but in his mind, he's like, why is there this desire to get people to enforce or to live some other form of life that he doesn't want to live?
00:52:04.000If he doesn't want to get married, he doesn't want to have to have children, why can't you just let him hang out at the pool hall?
00:52:08.000But they would always be considered degenerates because of that desire.
00:52:13.000It would always be assumed that if you wanted to be someplace where you're playing pool at 4 o'clock in the morning, terrible things were afoot.
00:52:22.000They could be out doing actually bad things, so they're just playing pool.
00:52:24.000Well, the reason is because the people that are willing to be up at 4 o'clock in the morning hanging out all night at this pool hall are the same people who are not going to listen to whatever anybody tells them to, and they're going to want to try to do whatever they want to do.
00:52:35.000And if whatever they want to do is just gamble all day, I mean...
00:54:40.000They have a little picnic blanket, and they're both sitting there with a little picnic basket, just laying on their side, looking at each other, doing mind chess with each other.
00:55:24.000And for the first days of American Express cards, he figured out how to copy the American Express card from the papers that would be left behind when you would make a carbon slip.
00:55:38.000So they would make a complete copy of your card and then use it and buy things and run up.
00:58:32.000Well, you have to almost be to try to do that in the first place because it's such a crazy thing to decide to do with your body.
00:58:38.000To put up with the physical torture of it.
00:58:41.000To put yourself out there to get beaten.
00:58:43.000There's a little bit of that too, but there's, you know...
00:58:45.000Just the impulsiveness of just getting involved in it.
00:58:50.000For some people it's actually a slow thing and they slowly get into it and get into martial arts and eventually want to be a fighter, but some people just fucking right away want to fight.
00:58:59.000There's just a wild impulsiveness to them.
00:59:01.000I've seen cage fights where guys had literally a week's training.
00:59:05.000They had never done anything and they were fighting and they had a week's training and they just fucking go wild on each other and shit and swing and craziness and No one really knew how to fight.
00:59:14.000It was essentially a street fight with a few rules.
00:59:17.000Remember that show we saw was at Taboo where there was a place in Australia where a guy has a circus tent and he has like fighters.
00:59:24.000I told you about this on the Chronicles.
01:00:10.000And if you throw somebody that knows how to box, just has a few years of boxing, knows how to move and jab and actually box versus a guy who's like, I'm fucking crazy.
01:00:19.000And you're just like, here's gloves, go at it.
01:00:21.000That dude with the boxing skills is just going to put on a clinic.
01:01:34.000It didn't make sense to me that you're showing me this, you know, you're showing me from his perspective first and then from an outside perspective.
01:01:42.000I was wanting so much more from that movie.
01:01:44.000There's a better version of it, I guess.
01:01:46.000Meanwhile, I'm like, cabin in the woods, awesome.
01:02:22.000But I wanted, like, I don't know what, I mean, we just had a couple of shots and the idea came across to just fucking, I could buy drinks for everybody.
01:02:30.000Let me just, A bunch of fucking people drink.
01:03:41.000I think some people don't consider that aspect of it the most, too, is that A lot of times people think that that person's just bothering you, and they're not even considering the fact that maybe in that section where that asshole keeps yelling shit out, there are 25 people around him who are like, I wish somebody would get rid of this motherfucker because he's ruining my experience.
01:03:59.000There was a couple of those in Florida.
01:04:02.000There was several kickouts in Florida.
01:05:36.000I go, you should feel horrible that you were so talkative that people had to slap their hand on your table because you're interrupting their fun, their evening, their good time with your squawking.
01:07:19.000Did you see the YouTube video of the guy who's doing this performance art piece in New York and there was a big Christian contingent in the audience?
01:08:46.000You know, look, the whole idea of these Christian groups and, you know, you're going to go up and pour water on someone's notes and you're going to be upset at them for their words.
01:08:57.000That's absolutely the antithesis of what you're supposed to be doing.
01:09:02.000I heard people get upset about stuff when they yell at you.
01:09:06.000I love when they're just so upset about a certain topic or joke and they're like, I remember with you one time, I don't know, is this on your last special, with the baby?
01:10:19.000You don't think in the world that this exists as a grown-up topic?
01:10:23.000You know, it's just right now, you haven't really quite gotten your full stride as far as people recognizing how funny you are and having your own crowd.
01:10:33.000I'm sure your podcast has changed a lot of it, right?
01:11:46.000I mean, this job, it's almost a given that there's going to be a certain amount of You're fucked in the head if you want to become a comedian.
01:11:56.000And so then to find someone who's got the right kind of fucked in your head that meshes with your kind of fucked in the head is what it's all about.
01:18:22.000But people feel like if you're, especially if you're saying something about religion, which even though to the rational person it really is kind of silly to be connected inexorably to some ideology, who's ringing?
01:20:23.000You pour water on some dude's notes, and they're going to fucking throw a water bottle at you, and you might hit them, and it might turn into some physical altercation.
01:20:32.000You can't pour water on someone's fucking notes because you don't like what they're saying.
01:25:37.000It was one of the first times I ever saw Reggie McFadden, too.
01:25:40.000Reggie McFadden, who's one of those guys that I never understood why Reggie McFadden never became fucking huge.
01:25:46.000The Reggie McFadden that I knew from like 1990-ish, 1991, I was convinced that that kid was going to be like one of the top stand-up comedians in the country.
01:25:55.000And one of the places I saw him was at the Champagne Comedy Club.
01:26:18.000Well, you know, what people don't understand is that everybody sort of got the idea that clean comedy was smart comedy because of television.
01:26:24.000You know, the only reason why you had to have things clean on television is because you didn't want to offend the advertisers.
01:28:06.000But then you watch a guy like Joey Diaz and one of the art forms that is Joey is Joey uses the least amount of words possible for the most impact.
01:28:18.000The thing that I see people, like younger comics, I think screw up with the most is not saying, they don't have a clear view of what their point is.
01:28:28.000In other words, they have their joke, but if you make the setup and the point that you're making up front clear, your joke will be more effective about it.
01:29:07.000And it helps me a lot because if I take like a week off, I'll just listen to like four or five sets in a row and it's like I'm right back in groove.
01:29:14.000Isn't that crazy that a week off is like a month off?
01:29:20.000I like to do at least one set a week if I'm in the warm-up stages.
01:29:25.000But because I'm doing this thing in Atlanta, I did Fort Lauderdale for a week, and then I was here for a week, and then before that we were in Louisville for a week.
01:31:25.000He was basically an actor before that.
01:31:26.000Took that opportunity, started doing these little things where he would host things, and then people started giving him money to headline, and next thing you know, he's a fucking professional comedian, and now he's headlining all over the world.
01:34:34.000He knows, everybody that knows something about fighting, you know, it's funny, like, when somebody who says, like, I could whoop that guy's ass, and you're talking about, like, a professional fighter?
01:34:42.000Oh, it's so, it's a horrible thing to watch, but I've heard it, I've heard it come out of many a guy's mouth.
01:35:07.000And if he gets a hold of your neck, you're going to sleep.
01:35:09.000It doesn't matter if you weigh 300 pounds.
01:35:11.000If Uriah Faber can get a real guillotine around your neck, night, night, night, night, you go sleep.
01:35:16.000It's not that hard to cut off the blood to the brain.
01:35:19.000You know, you just pinch those arteries together, and if you have a good grip, and Uriah does, if he can hang on and keep that guy from prying him off for just 15 seconds, I bet he can do that.
01:35:31.000You know, there's a lot of dudes out there that are professional fighters, and I bet they get disrespected occasionally, occasionally by dummies.
01:35:39.000But for the most part, I think people are pretty cool about it.
01:35:41.000Well, the thing was, the whole reason we were talking about that story about Johnny Gill and Oscar De La Hoya was because people would say it about Oscar more because he had the pretty boy image.
01:35:52.000It's like, yeah, that pretty boy could fuck you up, dude.
01:38:18.000He was into choking the shit out of people.
01:38:19.000That's what he was concentrating all his time on.
01:38:22.000When you're a kid, too, and you find one thing that you're really fucking good at, and that feeling of being really good at something is so fucking nice for kids.
01:38:29.000Especially, I don't know if it goes both ways, but especially when you're a 15-year-old boy, and you're looking for that direction and approval, and you find an activity that you get told you're good at, and you focus on that.
01:38:44.000Also, when you do something and it's hard to do, and then you do it, you go, oh, I did that.
01:38:50.000I went through something, I had doubts, it was hard to do, but I did it.
01:39:07.000And I watch one of these TV shows on restaurants, like Anthony Bourdain's show or something like that, when you're dealing with these guys who are working 16 hours a day, and the preparation of food, and the going to the market, and gathering up all the ingredients, and creating the menus, and it is their life.
01:39:21.000And you stop and you think about it, like, could you do that?
01:43:26.000That when you were like, you know, maybe this will end up on, like, the show, like, Death Squad might end up on TV. And I was like, hold on, we don't want to leave yet.
01:45:17.000There's a lot of people that the only reason why they're together is this weird male-female sort of thing going on where they have nothing in common, nothing to talk about.
01:45:26.000You guys are clearly obviously like, I wish I had No, but I think about that a lot when, not to sound corny, but if he and I go to dinner and there's that table next to you that's completely silent and they're just eating and you're like, how do you do that?
01:45:40.000Why do you marry somebody you can't fucking talk to?
01:45:55.000That always blew me away when a lot of guy friends I have would date for a long time and or marry somebody that they didn't have intellectually stimulating conversation with.
01:46:07.000And you're like, how do you fucking talk to that adult all the time?
01:46:50.000And there's a lot of what, the reason why people do that, people like to get absorbed in relationships to distract them from their shitbag lives.
01:47:04.000If you're overeating or you're over smoking or you're over this or you're over that or you're over gambling or you're over masturbating, whatever the fuck it is.
01:47:37.000One of my favorite episodes that you guys did lately, sorry, I just totally interrupted you, was your dad, where he wiped a booger on an elevator.
01:50:02.000So what happened was, we rented a place that there's our place, which is a two-bedroom, and then the owner owns the unit next to it, but doesn't live there.
01:50:14.000And, like, lives in LA in a different part of town.
01:50:38.000So it was kind of nice because you have no neighbor.
01:50:40.000We didn't even know what it's like to have that neighbor.
01:50:42.000And then, like, in the fall, one day I'm in our second room, which has a connection, like a vent, and I feel heat coming in, and I'm like, ah, shit, that's from the other unit.
01:50:54.000And I go, that's weird that there's heat coming from the unit next door, right?
01:52:22.000Who knows what the fuck they're doing.
01:52:25.000Downloading some fucking terrorist handbook that gets on your IP. When the fucking police come and break down your door and you're going to prove that this asshole was the one that was downloading this shit.
01:54:29.000There was this girl that I dated for a very short period of time who would, you know, she would come to visit me, like, if I was on the road doing stand-up.
01:54:38.000And, you know, and back then it was, like, always the shittiest, cheapest motels, the fucking nastiest beds.
01:54:44.000Think about some of the places that you stayed when you were working the road.
01:55:47.000Well, what's fascinating is that I read recently that one of the things they say about a woman who's moaning and screaming really loudly during sex is that it's not exactly just pleasure, and that actually what she's doing is she's alerting other men that may be better suitors to come in and fuck her.
01:57:39.000This is where it's good to have good friends, because she came to a comedy club to see me, and also my friends came, and my friends were with, you know, like, I brought her over to them, and she gave my friend her number.
01:57:59.000She was willing to take one of my friends and just give him and hope that she could sneak her way in and just start banging everybody that I know.
01:58:47.000That's why it's good to have good friends.
01:58:49.000Because my friend came out to me right away and said, yo, dude, that fucking bitch, when you're in the bathroom, that bitch gave me your number.
01:58:54.000And he shows it to me and he hands it to me.
01:59:01.000Yeah, I had a friend, we had a real problem with him because he was always banging all of our friends' ex-girlfriends.
01:59:07.000He would immediately, this was back in Boston, it was immediately, as soon as he would break up, he would fucking immediately be just magically, hey, I was by her work the other day, she seems like she's taking the breakup well.
02:02:46.000Because sometimes, obviously, they have no idea who you are.
02:02:50.000Sometimes they've seen you do stand-up on TV, like, oh, I saw your special, or I saw you on Conan, or whatever, saw something, and then But then it was something different about, they say I'm a mommy to us.
02:05:05.000We need to have a podcast community of all podcasts that we appreciate and like together.
02:05:10.000The idea of a channel like Death Squad, that's one way to do it too.
02:05:15.000But also the way to do it is to just make sure that everybody is connected to like-minded folks or other cool people, other ones that you might think are interesting.
02:06:06.000It'll be a section on my website, but if you go to it, it'll go to one that, like, when you go to that section, it'll be laid out like a whole site just for the podcast.
02:06:15.000Each one will have a description of each podcast and who was the guest and how long it was and when it took place.
02:06:21.000Do you know what percentage, is there even, like, it's got to be a small percentage of your fans that come to shows that don't listen to the podcast?
02:06:55.000It started, I think, when I... When I did Ann Arbor with you a few years ago, that was before we had a podcast, and I'd done yours a few times, and you were asking me, like, how many of you guys listen to the podcast?
02:07:08.000And in my mind, it was going to be like three tables.
02:08:40.000It's a different sort of a connection.
02:08:42.000So I feel hugely responsible to write good shit and produce good shit.
02:08:46.000That's why I'm excited to have this special come out now.
02:08:48.000As opposed to maybe a year ago when I could have put it out, but when you have a bit, man, it's like a samurai sword.
02:08:54.000You fucking bend that blade and hammer it down and sharpen it up, and as time goes on, you'll edit some lines out and add some to it, and then somewhere along the line it reaches its perfect form.
02:09:06.000I think you can use that sword to cut heads off after a couple of weeks, but it might not be the same sword, the delicate instrument of destruction that you'll have after two years when it's your closing bit.
02:09:38.000I love the fact that, too, as you get older and more experienced and more education and more information in your head and better as a comedian, that every time you come up with new shit, it's like better new shit.
02:09:49.000It's scary to abandon everything, but once you do, then you come up with a whole...
02:09:55.000Like he was saying that if you worked on a bit and you decided to work on that bit for five or ten years, that all that energy you could have used on that bit, you could have abandoned it two years ago and then worked on a new bit for another two years.
02:10:11.000And then you completely abandoned it and started all new.
02:10:14.000And all that creativity would have gone into something completely new and different.
02:10:35.000If you're talking about just abandoning everything and doing stuff every 12 months, I mean, just from experience of watching stand-up, I feel like it gets better in that 16 to 24-month frame where you can do it like it gets super tight, you know?
02:10:51.000Yeah, well, I've definitely, we've all gone through that experience of recording something and then the next week you have like a new tagline.
02:11:29.000And if you're tanking it with all your new stuff, it might be time to bust out some shit that really works and just pull this bitch out of the fire.
02:12:45.000The big curse of this society is that it's so fucking complicated that a great many of us have to do some shit that sucks in order to keep this society rolling.
02:12:54.000So that's why there's all these jobs that suck.
02:12:56.000And people have to do those fucking jobs.
02:13:43.000The human mind adapts incredibly well to its environment and adapts to incest and violence and all those things and treats them as the norm.
02:13:52.000And that's what happens in every bad neighborhood all across the world.
02:13:56.000The level of happiness is not often dictated by what their environment is like.
02:14:01.000Sometimes it's just they can get used to anything.
02:14:41.000And this is all I saw, and I never knew that there was a neighborhood just three miles away that I was going to move to that would change my outlook on everything.
02:14:49.000But it motivated us to work so much harder and get the fuck out of that place.
02:14:54.000That's really cool, though, that it did that.
02:14:57.000You can just fall into the misery of it.
02:14:59.000One of the things that I liked most about living in Colorado was that there was very few people up there, so I didn't feel like I was being inundated by other people's personalities.
02:15:08.000And when you're in a bad neighborhood, you're inundated by...
02:15:11.000It seems like hippie bullshit, but I believe that if you're in a neighborhood where a lot of crime is going on, a lot of negative shit is going on, you can feel it in the air.
02:15:35.000Like, I was remembering last night, in second grade, I hung out with this girl, Megan, and she was a straight A student, our third grades, right?
02:15:41.000And my grades went up for the first time in my life.
02:15:44.000Like, I was getting straight A's because I was hanging out with this nerdy girl who was really into studies.
02:15:50.000And then the minute we, you know, stopped being friends, I went back to being my normal slacker C student.
02:16:44.000I mean, there's not a lot of spots in the country where you could start a whole network of podcasts that are as established as the ones that we have here in LA. It's incredible how that has taken over as such a dominating force in entertainment, and it's going to keep growing.
02:17:59.000Don't be scared of flying with an edible.
02:18:01.000It's a life-changing goddamn experience.
02:18:03.000And you know what's great about podcasting, too, is that I feel like it harkens back to the time of radio, when people had to just sit and listen, and listen to long stories.
02:18:13.000And that doesn't exist on television anymore.
02:18:16.000Everything's cut so fast, and the information's so quick, that now it's like we're going back.
02:18:21.000And I love that idea, that you can just sit and listen to a three-hour thing.
02:18:38.000Zoo Fucking half second edits Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Yeah, and then they tell you, coming up next, you're going to see this scene.
02:18:53.000If we had a producer of this show and they were like, well, this is some of the things we're going to do to take it to the next level, okay?
02:19:26.000And you're like, yeah, but that's actually a very...
02:19:32.000They'll let the shot go of him running it, and the coffee pouring, and then him pouring it in, and stirring it, and you're like, but that guy's really making coffee.
02:19:40.000So it's not with fucking 15 cuts to make it.
02:19:45.000But you're watching real life kind of develop right then.
02:22:08.000And I think a lot of times, especially when you're doing as much on-the-fly ad-libbing stuff as I'm doing, 99% of my living I make completely ad-libbing.
02:22:25.000So I appreciate criticism and I understand that when I'm doing something, oftentimes it's completely unplanned out.
02:22:33.000Like this exact sentence that I'm saying right now, completely unplanned out.
02:22:36.000So when people will nitpick and criticize the hidden meaning behind each fucking word or each word you chose or the way you went with the conversation, it's like, God damn, will you just settle the fuck down?
02:22:47.000It's like you give people too much of an opportunity to be cunty.
02:23:16.000You've got to also think, like, each one of these episodes, and not getting into exact numbers, let's just say hundreds of thousands of people listen to this, and you might hear, out of hundreds of thousands of people, you might hear, like, 20 people.
02:23:41.000That's a good point, but I firmly believe that you can't be too self-congratulatory, and I think you have to address any possible valid criticisms.
02:23:49.000So when I read negative shit, I have to take it into assessment.
02:23:52.000I have to go, okay, I've got to look at this objectively.
02:24:00.000And then if you don't, then you have to go, well, then you've got to look at the motivation of this person and try to figure out, why did you look at this whole thing so skewed?
02:24:08.000And that's the driving you crazy part that I'm talking about.
02:27:19.000And the sound of his head falling onto the concrete while he was unconscious when he gets knocked out by the punch.
02:27:26.000I have a hard time watching Rocky movies.
02:27:27.000I got a bunch of tweets from cops in Baltimore because Neil Brennan and I were talking about it and Neil was saying, well, it's like sort of a mob mentality that takes on And I said, well, I totally agreed to a certain extent, although I agree to a certain extent that my mentality is real and it does happen sometimes.
02:27:44.000I don't think that's what was going on there.
02:27:45.000I think that was a drunk guy that was around a bunch of criminals, man, and they're just used to that.
02:27:49.000And these guys from Baltimore, these cops from Baltimore tweeted me and a bunch of them were telling me, like, read this, check out that.
02:27:56.000And other people tweeted me about the same issue.
02:27:58.000Like, apparently Baltimore's got a crazy fucking crime.
02:33:57.000So we really should have been, they should have got pissed at him for taking a picture of that guy's house, but I guess they couldn't do anything about that.
02:34:43.000So then she writes some whole really crazy, dumb, terribly written article about him, and comparing him to some other horrible people in the world, and what she doesn't address is the fact that she had written an article just a couple years ago praising a mother for taking and what she doesn't address is the fact that she had written an article just a couple years ago praising a mother for taking her And so she's a hypocrite in her own writing.
02:35:10.000She's not even accountable for her words.
02:35:14.000She's one of those dumb people that writes things down and tries to make some sort of a point because her job is to write an article and Doug found her conclusions to be illogical, idiotic, and offensive.
02:35:23.000So he, you know, in his way, you know, he asked for fucking injuries to her body and pussy problems and...
02:37:15.000I think the writer had a little bit of tongue-in-cheek while he was writing it, because he kind of knew that she was really a six, so as he's putting that picture out...
02:39:21.000I think the problem with Velcro, though, is after a couple weeks, they're getting shit in the Velcro, like cotton and stuff like that, and they start being annoying.
02:39:29.000In the past, you just get new shoelaces.
02:39:54.000Well, look, I'm already crossing the line as a female comic, so I try to keep it somewhat feminine.
02:39:59.000Do you feel like as a female comic, well, I've always felt, tell me if I'm right, that it's harder because you have less people want to hear you talk.
02:42:55.000But what you were saying about having opinions, actually people don't expect me to have them, so when I do, then they're like, whoa, whoa, you little girl.
02:43:03.000I can get away with saying crazy foul shit, and then they're like, look at her, isn't she cute with her opinions and her thoughts, you know?
02:47:27.000Thank you to The Fleshlight for sponsoring our podcast for, whoa, these many years.
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02:47:39.000And I do believe that it's parallel thinking.
02:47:43.000When they came up with a video of a guy stuffing a fleshlight in a chick's ass and then fucking the fleshlight, I really don't think anybody copied you.
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