Joe Rogan Experience #2074 - Shane Gillis
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 33 minutes
Words per Minute
175.8821
Hate Speech Sentences
130
Summary
In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, the boys talk about their morning routines, vitamins, and waffles. Also, we talk about Game of Thrones and how we should get rid of these kickass women in the world. Joe also talks about how much he's been getting raped by women and why he thinks it's a good idea to have a woman on the show. The boys also talk about how they would like to see a woman in the show killed off by a volcano and why they think it would be a good thing. They also talk a little bit about their favorite movies and TV shows and how they grew up in the 80s and 90s. And they talk about what it's like to be an Irishman in the 90s and early 00s and what it means to be Irish in the 21st century. This episode was recorded in Los Angeles, California and features a live audience of about 20 people. We hope you enjoy it and it's as good as it's being recorded in LA! Thank you so much for listening and supporting the pod! - The Joe Rogans Experience Podcast. Cheers, Joe and the Crew! xoxo -Jon and the crew. -The Jerks. Jon and The Jerks Podcast Check it out! -Jon & the Jerks Jon & the Crew & the crew at The Jerky Jerks podcast and the Jerky Crew. Joe and Crews Podcast by Night, all day, by night, by day, and by night by night all day by day. , by night. . . . by night by night! by day! . , all day! by day and night! by night? . , by day? , and by day , by all day all day all day? . . , night, day, all night, and night, day, , every day, night, every night, night , day, the night, etc.. ! etc., , etc., etc. , so much love, etc. etc, etc. etc., all day long, etc, & so much more, etc., and so much, etc.... ... (and more, ) And more! & more, nuff
Transcript
00:00:06.000
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day!
00:01:02.000
Zinc is difficult to get into your bloodstream.
00:01:06.000
If you're going to take zinc, you need something like quercetin.
00:01:14.000
I don't want to fuck this up, but I think it allows ions to get into your bloodstream easier.
00:01:19.000
It just allows things like zinc to get into your cells easier.
00:01:23.000
Yeah, I'm not close to worrying about shit like that.
00:01:34.000
Boy, when you're sitting at a restaurant and they bring out the bread with the butter, ooh, it smells good.
00:01:40.000
I mean, this weekend I ate at Denny's and Waffle House.
00:01:46.000
Bro, at 2 o'clock in the morning, a waffle with some sausages, it's hard to beat.
00:02:02.000
Especially when you're- It's the combination of flavors.
00:02:05.000
The chicken, the waffles, the syrup with the butter.
00:02:29.000
Waffles with butter and syrup are pretty fucking good.
00:02:42.000
I think there's a company called Viking Waffles.
00:02:44.000
They made like protein waffles that are like low carb.
00:02:48.000
And then I would use butter and then sugar-free syrup.
00:02:55.000
21 grams of protein, 3 grams of sugar, 5 grams of carbs.
00:03:16.000
They're the reason why the people in Iceland are so good at strongman competitions.
00:03:20.000
You know, those guys like the mountain from Game of Thrones?
00:03:48.000
No, no, I mean like the badass, kick-ass woman characters?
00:03:57.000
I mean, they're not, like, fucking up all the dudes or anything like that.
00:04:24.000
Well, how the fuck does the mountain come from?
00:04:51.000
No, they've been glorified because they were...
00:04:54.000
Do we have an accurate depiction of what they actually look like?
00:05:18.000
It says the appearance of these infamous travelers, warriors, and mostly farmers.
00:05:32.000
It says varieties and form, material, and styles are used to mark both gender, rank, and local identity.
00:06:05.000
In fact, only one preserved Viking helmet has materialized in Scandinavia and it was horn-free.
00:06:16.000
Archaeologists found portions of Viking helmets in Denmark, but their popularity remains unknown.
00:06:21.000
Similarly, we know of one intact suit of chainmail which appeared with the sole surviving helmet.
00:06:33.000
This was likely worn exclusively by elites and professional warriors despite its common appearance in mainstream depictions.
00:06:56.000
So reverse mullet means long on top and short in the back?
00:07:06.000
It's possibly tied to a knot in the back of the head.
00:07:08.000
The knot may have been decorated with colored tape, which is sprayed into the hair.
00:07:15.000
If you have one helmet and one piece of chain mail...
00:07:46.000
And they're a bunch of murderers and you like them.
00:08:00.000
They're like, oh, they discovered America first.
00:08:21.000
There was one priest that traveled with Columbus that wrote those horrific stories of what they did to the Native Americans?
00:08:50.000
Just think about how awful people were in the movies in 1950. Just smack women around.
00:08:55.000
Yeah, I was just watching that Sean Connery interview yesterday.
00:09:05.000
And even after you let them get the last word, that's not enough.
00:09:14.000
I have a fucking zen in my mouth, which makes it harder.
00:09:25.000
Bro, I was in Scotland, and I was at this place, and there's a fucking stone circle that's older than Stonehenge.
00:09:41.000
It's just laying out there in front of this dude's house.
00:10:07.000
There's two million people in the whole country.
00:10:19.000
Low clouds and the hill, they're not really mountains.
00:10:23.000
They're kind of like, you know, a couple thousand feet.
00:10:35.000
I'll send it to Jamie so you can take a look at it.
00:10:39.000
Have you heard that the mountain range, like the Appalachians, it bleeds over to Europe?
00:10:46.000
The Appalachians, the same mountain range, is the same mountains over there.
00:10:52.000
Well, I mean, when they were connected, it did.
00:11:04.000
Panspermia is the theory that asteroids seeded life on Earth.
00:11:09.000
It's like spores and amino acids were in asteroids.
00:11:13.000
Trying to get to be close and just make something gay?
00:11:51.000
I was looking at his vitals and I was drawing back.
00:12:01.000
I don't think you're allowed to bow hunt in Scotland.
00:12:05.000
I think they allow you to bow hunt in the UK. Because they're just...
00:12:14.000
They're not educated about modern compound bows and modern broadheads.
00:12:19.000
And, you know, if someone's good at a bow and arrow, that's just as ethical as shooting it with a rifle.
00:12:27.000
Animals die fucking quick when you shoot them with a bow and arrow, if you shoot them right.
00:12:34.000
With one of those heavy-duty compounds, like a Hoyt, shooting fucking 300 feet per second, razor-sharp broadhead at the end of it.
00:13:16.000
I figured it out somewhere in my 20s that I just need to keep doing difficult things in order to stay sane.
00:13:23.000
I don't have a brain that is allowed to sit still.
00:13:48.000
You know, there's a lot of weird influences in my genetics.
00:13:58.000
You know, the way I say it, it's like if you have a race car.
00:14:01.000
If you don't know how to drive a race car, you're gonna fucking crash into a tree.
00:14:06.000
But if you understand what's required to maintain this thing, and you realize it's different than every other car on the road, you just have to manage it.
00:14:19.000
Yeah, you're some kind of a fucking SUV. Just a van with a fucking taped window?
00:14:51.000
Oh my god, I saw this video today of this guy who was driving on the highway, and he's in a truck, and then before he can stop, there's sheep all over the road.
00:15:07.000
I mean, that's not great, but that's gonna be very funny.
00:15:09.000
Well, it's okay to watch because it's not gory, but it's just like, oh my god, what the fuck do you do?
00:15:30.000
Like, sometimes when Instagram is open, it won't show you the link you're trying to get to.
00:15:41.000
Oh, dude, I must have shown it on Protective Parks.
00:15:45.000
There's one where there's dogs crossing the street.
00:15:54.000
This dude's just driving along the road, having a good old time, just doing his thing, trying to get to his destination.
00:16:38.000
It's always some guy who's shirtless in his avatar.
00:16:42.000
Like five white lines down the middle of the road.
00:16:47.000
You're going 70 miles an hour, you have zero time.
00:16:56.000
I mean, that's hundreds of sheep are getting slaughtered there.
00:17:01.000
I just noticed, too, his windshield wiper automatically turned on there.
00:17:17.000
But meanwhile, anybody who's coming after you is gonna crash.
00:17:24.000
Because when someone's coming along, they don't see you in time.
00:17:27.000
Obviously, if you're in the middle of the road.
00:17:37.000
Damn, people are watching the fuck out of this video.
00:17:45.000
People listening to this are not gonna like it.
00:17:54.000
I mean, fair he didn't see him, but you're driving on an empty road.
00:18:27.000
That poor driver went through that hellish night.
00:18:35.000
He's probably trying to get to his destination.
00:18:44.000
Every one that he hit, he saw it crystal clear.
00:18:46.000
He probably sped up the video so it didn't look so bad.
00:18:56.000
Well over 100. Killing and injuring more than 100. There's a few still photos from the other angle.
00:19:21.000
Every video they put out is the funniest video you've ever seen.
00:19:27.000
As many people as in Los Angeles, and it's the size of the United States, and the center of it is filled with death.
00:19:37.000
I talk about it a lot, obviously, but there's a video of a guy, not the one punching the kangaroo, that's the greatest.
00:20:13.000
That's the crazy thing, is people die from kangaroos.
00:20:47.000
I mean, I don't know what the fuck used to kill kangaroos.
00:21:15.000
It's like a strange dog looking kind of creature.
00:21:20.000
When they yawn and open their mouths, they're like, what the fuck are you doing with all those teeth?
00:21:27.000
They think they have them still in remote areas, though.
00:21:30.000
Because there's so much unexplored area, and people have spotted them.
00:21:40.000
A lot of marsupials over there, which is also odd.
00:22:03.000
Tasmanian tiger-like animal caught on video to Suburban Street.
00:22:09.000
Like a bunch of people have apparently spotted them in different places.
00:22:14.000
To the point where I had a biologist on the podcast who was explaining that there's multiple different scientists that are trying to find these things.
00:22:26.000
And there's enough sightings that people are pretty sure that they're real.
00:22:36.000
Imagine being the poor fucking guys that got exiled there.
00:22:42.000
Yeah, when they exiled them, they took the prisoners from England.
00:22:49.000
Like, political prisoners would have to go, too.
00:22:52.000
So there's a bunch of Irish dudes that had to go to Tasmania.
00:23:32.000
The Australian accent is essentially a drunk English accent.
00:23:42.000
I think that's how it was in the Caribbean too.
00:23:44.000
Yeah, they just had rum and they're like, fuck.
00:24:20.000
He's fighting Tony Ferguson, I believe in two weeks, right?
00:24:44.000
I wonder how good that is for you to run 100 miles.
00:24:50.000
Well, fitness is important, but sparring is very important, too.
00:24:55.000
And timing is important, and training, and technique, and drilling, and being prepared to do specific things.
00:25:03.000
When fighters get older, they can't move as good.
00:25:09.000
They might have knee things that you don't see.
00:25:11.000
They might have back things that you don't see.
00:25:15.000
There's apparently a video of Tony Ferguson When he used to enter the octagon, how he used to move, versus now.
00:25:27.000
But it's also the contrast to the way his body moves.
00:25:31.000
Dude, in the old days, when Tony Ferguson was on this undefeated run, he was one of the baddest fucking man on the planet.
00:25:38.000
The fact that him and Khabib never got to fight is a real fucking tragedy.
00:25:42.000
When he was in his prime, that's when he fell, just tripped on some wires backstage doing an interview, and ripped his fucking knee apart.
00:26:02.000
It's like, he's just walking along, and he trips.
00:26:14.000
He had to get everything fucking surgically reattached and months and months of rehab.
00:26:19.000
And he came back and he beat Anthony Pettis and he looked really fucking good.
00:26:27.000
An elite fighter can only operate at their highest level for so many years.
00:26:33.000
There's a window of time where you can operate at the highest RPMs.
00:26:41.000
This is from 2015. This is him moving around when he got into the octagon.
00:27:06.000
And now here we are, 23. That Chandler knockout was rough.
00:27:14.000
There's a photo of Chandler's foot connected on Tony's face.
00:27:21.000
It's wild to look at what happens to someone's face when a foot impacts their fucking jaw.
00:27:38.000
I will say this about the cold plunge, I'm still cold.
00:27:49.000
He looked like he just turned a thousand years old.
00:28:19.000
That sounded a lot more gay than I was trying to make it sound.
00:28:39.000
It's like we were talking about this, that like they talk like people used to talk in the 90s.
00:28:47.000
They talk about, like, running trains on chicks.
00:29:11.000
I'm going to get a lot of flack for not wearing a Notre Dame hat right now.
00:30:28.000
He got socially pressured into being like, I'm not gay.
00:30:31.000
But the weird thing is when they start dancing around him.
00:30:47.000
Radio personality known for his famous I'm Delivered video that went viral in 2014. Oh wow, so he's making something.
00:31:29.000
Imagine being gay and people don't want you to be gay.
00:31:35.000
Because, like, if you're in high school right now and you're not gay, you're not even cool.
00:31:41.000
You're a straight white man, you piece of shit.
00:31:50.000
You get older, you go, wait a second, I didn't fucking do anything.
00:31:59.000
Maybe this isn't great for this, but we were talking about the Gypsy King.
00:32:06.000
We were talking about how Gypsy's like, you can't call him Gypsy.
00:32:13.000
And Brian Simpson was like, well, they call each other Gypsy.
00:32:25.000
He's like, well, they say, they call each other gypsies.
00:32:27.000
And then we all just pause and fucking howling, and then we're howling.
00:32:39.000
Bro, that green room is my favorite spot on earth.
00:33:32.000
There's no need for me to have that thing on there.
00:33:40.000
Yeah, for people in Europe, a lot of people don't have iPhones over there.
00:33:46.000
How come it's so popular over there, but not over here?
00:33:53.000
It's weird to, yeah, use a separate app to text.
00:33:56.000
Well, I think it's because it's free or something.
00:34:15.000
I just know my phone's been blowing up with WhatsApp.
00:34:18.000
When I think about WhatsApp, I think about what happened to Jeff Bezos.
00:34:23.000
Well, someone, I think it was the top dude in Saudi Arabia, sent him a link.
00:34:32.000
And it was one of those- The black eyes with the dick?
00:34:38.000
Somebody got me the other day with Floyd Mayweather.
00:34:42.000
I saw the San Francisco Chronicle at the bottom.
00:34:46.000
Segura, whenever he sends me something, I'm like, I know he got me.
00:35:01.000
Amazon boss phone hacked by Saudi Crown Prince.
00:35:08.000
Investigation suggests Washington Post's owner was targeted five months before murder of Jamal Khashoggi.
00:35:15.000
The Washington Post was doing some sort of an expose on MBS. And then that was before they killed Jamal Khashoggi.
00:35:23.000
And then they sent him a message like, hey, click on this.
00:35:32.000
And Pegasus is the Israeli spy software that allows them to read everything on your phone.
00:35:37.000
Apparently, though, according to Gavin DeBecker, who's a securities expert, that the new Pegasus, Pegasus 2, they don't even need a link.
00:35:47.000
Like, all this idea of, like, encrypted this and fucking hidden that and...
00:35:54.000
He carries around one of those weird phones, which, you know, it's like an Android phone that has some sort of top-secret operating system.
00:36:09.000
Okay, well, then your phone, it relates to the tower, and they know exactly where you are.
00:36:14.000
There's one way, one way for you to hide the location.
00:36:17.000
You have to take your phone, and you have to shut it off, and then put it in a Faraday bag.
00:36:27.000
And inside that backpack, there's a Faraday sleeve for your laptop and a Faraday sleeve for your iPhone or your phone.
00:36:42.000
Well, I don't know if you know about the state of the world today, but a lot of people are being tracked.
00:36:56.000
Like, a company is making this for just regular dudes that are like, I need to get off the grid.
00:37:09.000
Yeah, if you, like, say if you're going through a divorce or something like that, and your wife fucking decides to trap your phone everywhere.
00:37:28.000
But once you start using your phone, they know where you are.
00:37:31.000
I mean, if you're fucking hiding from the CIA, guess what?
00:37:38.000
And eventually, you're gonna use someone else's phone.
00:37:50.000
Again, I'm not getting on a plane with you again.
00:38:00.000
I'm just, I'm going to, every time I fucking jack off.
00:38:03.000
Speaking of, yesterday, the Grand Theft Auto thing leaked, the trailer leaked, and they said the way it happened is because they probably uploaded it to YouTube, and once you do that, no matter if a video is private or not, anyone, not anyone, but most people who work at YouTube, Have access to that now.
00:38:20.000
So thousands of people had accessed that file and could have stolen it immediately.
00:38:26.000
Anyway, anytime I jack off, I'm always worried somebody gets that footage.
00:38:31.000
It is, but yeah, if somebody sees that face, that face, just...
00:38:38.000
Are you thinking about quitting, but you're just determined to keep going?
00:38:56.000
Yeah, that Waffle House paid off with a major load.
00:39:26.000
Whenever you're linked to YouPorn, it fucking sends a notification to Shane's phone.
00:39:43.000
One of them, we were on the road in fucking Milwaukee, and he was like, you know what, I'm going to try to find an orgy.
00:39:51.000
If you knew this guy, it would be even crazier to see this guy being like, I should go to an orgy.
00:40:04.000
Whatever city we're in, he checks out their Gone Wild.
00:40:07.000
And they were like, we're having an orgy at the Days Inn.
00:40:13.000
Just so you know, that guy was, and then he got, he paid, they were like, it's $100 a ticket.
00:40:20.000
Pays him $100, takes an Uber to the Days Inn in Milwaukee at like 3am.
00:40:29.000
And they're like, we're too busy fucking, we can't let you in.
00:40:42.000
He's like, I'm gonna message him and be like, give me that fucking money back.
00:40:45.000
So he messages him and they're like, they must have his location somehow.
00:40:50.000
So he messages them and he's like, hey, you guys fucked me on that.
00:40:53.000
And they're like, actually, we're doing an orgy in Brooklyn tonight.
00:40:57.000
We'll give you half off if you want to come to that.
00:40:59.000
It's like, dude, they just keep taking his money.
00:41:08.000
Somebody might have got him on a jacking off on FaceTime.
00:41:17.000
You whack off, they go, you owe us $5,000 and we're going to release that video.
00:41:41.000
If you're a journalist and you get busted, jacking off to FaceTime, like, you're in real trouble.
00:41:51.000
I think they brought him back on CNN, but everybody just kept calling him the jerk-off guy.
00:41:56.000
And then he went on Patrick Beck-David's podcast.
00:41:58.000
He was, like, defending the vaccine like it was a religious doctrine.
00:42:04.000
It's like this guy was so scared of being canceled.
00:42:12.000
Whatever the narrative is that the mainstream media is pushing, this guy was all in with no questions asked.
00:42:41.000
The fact that you can't stop jerking off while you're talking about the election.
00:42:48.000
That just means the whole time he was talking, in the back of his head, he was like, I'm a jack-off.
00:42:51.000
Well, that's a real person, as opposed to what these people portray themselves in the media as these, like, moral authorities and these experts and these people of substantial reason.
00:43:03.000
They're fucking weirdos who are being confined by this job and they're boxed into a very specific way of behaving and talking and they put makeup on you and they sit you in front of a camera and you talk about whatever the fuck they tell you to talk about and you pretend you're smarter than everybody else.
00:43:19.000
And when those people go on a show where they get questioned, like that guy went on the Patrick Bette David podcast, you just see who they really are.
00:43:28.000
It's like, oh, you're just some guy and this is what you do.
00:44:20.000
I think what he does is very important, for the most part.
00:44:33.000
I mean, this is the same guy that's exposing fraud in the CIA. This is the same guy that wants to release the Kennedy files.
00:44:40.000
And then he's like, also, this guy blew the president.
00:44:59.000
I mean, if you're a guy and you're running for president and you're gay, you're not telling anybody.
00:45:05.000
There's just way too many people that wouldn't, they would think you're a freak.
00:45:08.000
There's way too many people that unfairly associate gay people with some other kind of perversion as well.
00:45:16.000
They don't just think this is just, you know, just like how you like women, this guy likes men, we should all be free.
00:45:25.000
This is not some wacky thing like being addicted to gambling.
00:45:29.000
This is like a thing that is in your genes, and we need to accept it.
00:45:33.000
If we're going to be a kind, compassionate society, we need to accept it.
00:45:38.000
But there's a lot of people that automatically will associate homosexuality with some kind of perversion for whatever unfortunate reason.
00:45:47.000
Well, the reason is because it's guys fucking each other in the butt.
00:46:01.000
And then whenever there's a pedophile that happens to be gay, then people are like, see?
00:46:13.000
Oh, I got sent in a documentary last night about this lady.
00:46:16.000
This lady who fucked a 12-year-old student, and she got pregnant.
00:46:25.000
Why does that not bother me nearly as much as male pedophiles?
00:46:34.000
He found out about something cool a little sooner than he should have.
00:46:41.000
I have a friend of mine that got really fucked up by that.
00:46:55.000
He was 13. She started to have sex with him when he was 13. Damn, she was already the mother of four and had a marriage that was disintegrating.
00:47:03.000
Imagine the first sex you get, you don't even get to have sex with a fellow teenager.
00:47:06.000
You gotta bang this old lady who's had 50 kids.
00:47:14.000
I think they got married after they split up and she went to jail and then they still got married.
00:48:01.000
We have found, you know, this is the reason why ancient cultures- I mean, if I had to do it.
00:48:12.000
I was telling Tony the other day, I'd fuck a guy who still wears a mask.
00:48:18.000
If the guy's still wearing a mask in 2023, I'll pick him.
00:48:22.000
I saw a guy on the plane yesterday wearing a mask.
00:48:30.000
I just feel like they're just not getting good information.
00:48:37.000
It did, that fucked me up as far as like, cause for like a year I was afraid of like talking close to people.
00:48:45.000
For however long that was, that like fucked me up for a while.
00:48:59.000
Like Bill Burr in his podcast was yelling at someone who was across the street who didn't have a mask on.
00:49:13.000
I feel like if he was here, he wouldn't have done that.
00:49:16.000
There's a thing that's real, and you could feel it when you go to other countries for sure, is that people have, there's a different vibe that the people there have.
00:49:27.000
And if you're, we are, vibes and people's thoughts and their energy, It's very contagious.
00:49:35.000
And if you're around people that are freaked out, you're going to be more freaked out than you would be if you're around people who weren't.
00:49:43.000
And most people have a certain level of anxiety anyway.
00:49:47.000
I mean, there's a reason why they're selling so much Xanax.
00:49:49.000
There's a reason why so many people are on SSRIs.
00:49:51.000
There's a lot of people out there that are not on a good path, whether it's because of their own fault or whether it's decisions that were made that affected them or there's the way they were raised or the fucking environment they find themselves in.
00:50:06.000
But there's a certain percentage of the population that is just already fucked up And then COVID came along.
00:50:14.000
And I think there was more people that are already fucked up in these high-population urban areas.
00:50:24.000
Because I don't think people are supposed to be stacked on top of each other like that.
00:50:28.000
Like, one of the things that I felt when I went to Scotland, you feel relaxed.
00:50:39.000
We were like, I think when you're around a shit ton of people, whether you recognize it or not, there's something you're experiencing.
00:50:49.000
Whether it's just because there's so many numbers and you're paying attention to all these different people and kind of like seeing, looking around you and taking in all this data, whether it's a lot of noise, or whether it's like there's physical energy that comes off of people that we just don't know how to measure yet.
00:51:07.000
Because this is why I like the mountains so much.
00:51:09.000
When I go to the mountains, dude, I feel better.
00:51:15.000
Like, whatever the fuck is fucking with people in cities.
00:51:20.000
And so if you go to cities and everybody's all ramped up and crazy.
00:51:24.000
Like, why are they so ramped up like that, but they're not in Scotland?
00:51:27.000
Because you're not supposed to be stacked on top of each other like that.
00:51:38.000
And people in New York, they behave as if you're not gonna punch them.
00:51:45.000
I've seen people talk shit to people for no reason on the street.
00:51:54.000
In New York, they continuously get punched and keep going.
00:51:56.000
Some guy hit my fucking car with a briefcase once.
00:52:03.000
I was coming home from some stupid fucking audition that I didn't want to do, and this dork, this dork in his glasses, and I was in the intersection, and my light was green, and they were all jaywalking, and he just decided to hit my fucking car with his fucking briefcase.
00:52:22.000
If it wasn't a piece of shit car, I might have brained him.
00:52:29.000
I was just gonna hit the fucking e-brake and just run out and brain him.
00:52:39.000
Back then I could have got away with it too, because this is the 90s.
00:52:43.000
Because his head probably would have bounced off the concrete.
00:52:49.000
Like, if you're gonna brain someone in the street, you really should kick them in the body.
00:53:01.000
If you kick someone in the head in the street, you very, very likely could kill them.
00:53:05.000
There's like a two out of ten possibility that you're gonna kill them.
00:53:09.000
That would get you some respect in prison, though.
00:53:29.000
I just don't like the level of tension that's involved when there's so many people around.
00:53:42.000
The level, the feeling, why I got here when I first moved here, I was like, oh, this is the right number of people.
00:53:48.000
It's like a number of people where you can sustain great restaurants, you can sustain a great university, you can sustain a bunch of good businesses.
00:53:58.000
Yeah, it's definitely better than New York as far as...
00:54:18.000
Dude, this is like the best Italian sub I've ever had in my fucking life.
00:54:25.000
We went, and the last time we went for the UFC... These fucking wops are never original.
00:54:40.000
These people all look like they're just filled with inflammation.
00:54:44.000
But goddamn, they look like they're having a great time.
00:54:56.000
Then they watch the Yankees not make the playoffs.
00:55:26.000
That's my friend Tommy Jr. I've been friends with that dude for 30 years.
00:55:48.000
Living in the city sucks, but I was just in New York.
00:56:12.000
I want some place where there's like, I wake up, I see deer and I hear birds chirping and shit.
00:56:19.000
I got a house, my family and we have a house in the Poconos.
00:56:28.000
They're always around the house and they're fucking dirty.
00:56:34.000
And then you see them up close, you're like, oh, no.
00:56:35.000
There's a thing called CWD, chronic wasting disease.
00:56:41.000
And to the point where there's a lot of people that are scared to eat deer in certain places, like in certain spots in Wisconsin.
00:56:47.000
My buddy Doug Duren, he is a part of this conservation effort to try to, like, mitigate this spread of this disease.
00:56:55.000
And they're trying to actually shoot more deer.
00:56:58.000
Because they're trying to lower the population so that there's less of them.
00:57:02.000
It is funny that hunters, I know it is the correct move, but it's always like, we're going to have to kill more of them.
00:57:08.000
Sorry, we're going to have to kill more of them.
00:57:09.000
But they really do in this case because, you know, if you've ever been in the Midwest, the fucking deer are everywhere.
00:57:16.000
My buddy John Dudley, Owns a hunting farm, okay?
00:57:22.000
This guy is like one of the best bow hunters on earth.
00:57:44.000
They have cameras set up all around the property so they can find out when a guy is in the neighborhood.
00:58:04.000
When they wind up, hunting season is during the rut.
00:58:09.000
They get so horny that guys have made videos where they walk right up to a deer.
00:58:14.000
Like this big deer is just standing there in the middle of the woods.
00:58:17.000
They walk right up to him and touch him and go, hey man, you okay?
00:58:31.000
He's been listening to 30 stupid stories and fucking- And then she said to me, and I was like, you're not going to talk to me like that.
00:58:39.000
Even you starting to say that, my brain shut off.
00:58:50.000
But there's so many videos of guys walking up to a deer and touching it with an arrow.
00:58:59.000
They're just so fucked out or so horny that they literally are so confused that they let someone walk right up to them.
00:59:12.000
Human beings are like that, but human beings, we can have sex 365 days a year.
00:59:16.000
Just imagine if all human beings only bred in November.
00:59:21.000
And so fucking November rolls around and everybody goes crazy.
01:00:12.000
That shows how many hunters are out there that are like that guy.
01:00:33.000
But if you were in a place that has low deer population density or low buck density...
01:00:38.000
Some places, they just shoot any buck, because you can shoot any buck.
01:00:55.000
They have this little nub, but they're still a male.
01:01:07.000
Yeah, 37 degrees for three minutes, your dick's gone.
01:01:15.000
The blue cube, the one we have in the studio, that's the roughest one.
01:01:20.000
The only thing you do after you do a cold plunge is tell people you took a cold plunge.
01:01:32.000
Now every conversation I have is- I've been those people.
01:01:36.000
I'm those people with almost everything I like.
01:01:44.000
I thought you were wrong about the cold plunge.
01:01:48.000
Me, Ari, and Mark stuck our fucking, just our hands in the cold plunge to see if we could do 30 seconds.
01:01:54.000
And it was like, no, fuck this, I'm never doing it.
01:02:00.000
No, no, I just needed you standing there going, get in there, bitch!
01:02:09.000
The first time you did it was rough, but now you're pretty accustomed.
01:02:12.000
Well, the first time you get in, it sucks the fucking wind down.
01:02:14.000
You've done it at least, what, eight, nine times now?
01:02:23.000
How good does it feel when you get out of there?
01:02:32.000
Like if someone ever wants to borrow money, they need to catch me right when I'm coming out of the sauna.
01:02:36.000
Right when I'm coming out of the sauna or the cold plunge.
01:02:38.000
I've also noticed when I get out of it, I can't shut the fuck up.
01:02:48.000
Just get one of those fucking things for your backyard.
01:02:55.000
Well, you're going to have to come over and call me a pussy.
01:03:02.000
I will drive over your house before shows, and we'll both do it together.
01:03:14.000
When you have, like, Saturday shows and you're like, fuck, you went out Friday night, and then you slept in the hotel, and you didn't get good sleep because you're not at home, and then you have lunch, and it's not very good for you, whatever the fuck you're eating, and then you're like, okay, it's 6, the show's at 8, fuck.
01:03:35.000
I literally wake up 20 minutes before the car's coming, and I'm like, oh, shit.
01:03:45.000
If you had a cold plunge in your room, just plop in there.
01:03:49.000
You're on the path to making yourself a better person, Shane.
01:04:18.000
He was saying that he's getting more attractive women hitting him up on dating apps.
01:04:25.000
We heard Hassan and Hassan was like, I'm definitely getting stronger.
01:04:29.000
I'm getting more attractive women on dating sites to respond.
01:04:43.000
How wild is it that he was doing that Muslim prayer?
01:04:45.000
So, for people who don't know, our friend Hassan, it's a hilarious comic, works at the mothership.
01:04:51.000
He does not understand Arabic, but he can read it and write it.
01:05:00.000
He was taught to read it and write it when he was a kid.
01:05:03.000
And he can recite Muslim prayers, but he doesn't know what they mean.
01:05:13.000
As soon as he said it, I was like, oh shit, now it makes sense.
01:05:39.000
All the things that I know now about people that get hit in the head, I'm like, yeah, it does something.
01:05:47.000
And then I also probably have toxoplasmosis because I used to have a wild cat.
01:05:55.000
And I always had cats when I was a kid and they always went out.
01:06:04.000
But they're a bunch of little fucking murderers.
01:06:20.000
Yeah, there's a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims.
01:06:28.000
They don't know if there's a correlation, but they do think it affects your impulse control.
01:06:33.000
There's also a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from places that have high levels of toxoplasmosis.
01:06:43.000
They don't know if that's because there's a lot of really successful soccer teams that come from third world countries and poorer countries.
01:06:55.000
Like it might like literally possibly could change cultures.
01:06:59.000
At one point in time, France, 50% of the country tested positive for it.
01:07:19.000
I think Ridley Scott made Napoleon like a human.
01:07:28.000
Usually if you're watching a historical movie, you want him to be speaking well the entire time, totally in control.
01:07:40.000
But every time they cut to a scene where he's fucking his wife, it's so funny.
01:08:12.000
I wonder when people figured out you could have sex looking at each other.
01:08:21.000
I don't want to turn this into some type of freak shit, but I saw a funny video of a gorilla doggy styling another gorilla at the fucking...
01:08:50.000
In primates, there's a direct relationship between the number of promiscuous females that are nearby and the size of the male's testicles.
01:09:22.000
I liked the dude in the beginning of Chimp Empire, the guy, there's the first scene where they go fight the other colony, and he's like, I'm out of here, this is too much.
01:09:30.000
And then they catch him, the other colony caught him on the way back and killed him.
01:09:34.000
I respected him just being like, I know you guys are going to make fun of me when we get back.
01:09:43.000
At least some armies, even the Mongols, they used to take in other warriors and go, hey, join us.
01:09:56.000
They were saying that there was one clan that was a part of another group.
01:10:18.000
I was looking for doggy style scenes in Napoleon, actually.
01:10:27.000
Now we're on the new stuff, so I've had to switch.
01:10:29.000
Could you please find gorillas fucking at the zoo?
01:10:42.000
A group of apes or chimpanzees is a shrewdness.
01:10:53.000
Is that like the British where they spell tire with a Y? Yeah, that's bullshit, dude.
01:11:10.000
That guy Sapolsky, Robert Sapolsky, who did all the research on toxoplasmosis, he was the one I found out about the disproportionate number of motorcycle victims.
01:11:23.000
And one of the things they found, these baboons, they had these really rough Alpha males, like evil, mean, brutal, bully alpha males.
01:11:38.000
So like hundreds of them would go to the garbage in the resort and tear it apart.
01:12:14.000
That's a baby chimp just going, what are you doing to my mom?
01:12:34.000
Like, the garbage had something in it that was poisoned.
01:12:42.000
And so this troop, I guess, of baboons, for like, I think a decade, were like peaceful and cool.
01:12:52.000
Like it somehow, and then it eventually devolved back to bully alphas that were beating up all the other chimps.
01:13:00.000
World War II, now we've been chilling for a while.
01:13:15.000
But completely unnecessary, whereas World War II was necessary.
01:13:24.000
What was the unnecessary start of World War II? Hitler taking everything.
01:13:29.000
Yeah, but like, a lot of it is based on what happened in World War I. Yes.
01:13:38.000
Yeah, and there's not that much time between them either.
01:13:41.000
So there's like a regrouping of Germany, and we'll fucking show you.
01:13:55.000
Archduke Franz Ferdinand got assassinated in Serbia.
01:14:00.000
And the guy, Lucky, ran into him outside of a restaurant.
01:14:05.000
Then his car was parked outside of a restaurant.
01:14:24.000
And then the whole world, which they were all cousins.
01:14:30.000
Because Austria and Serbia, I guess, had a pretty long history of fighting each other.
01:14:55.000
I think it was, like, Franz Ferdinand was actually, like, one of the guys in Austria that liked Serbia, and he was one of the guys, like, helping it.
01:15:06.000
And then the black hand, and I'm forgetting his fucking name.
01:15:28.000
So what happens in Germany during World War I? So World War I was over nothing.
01:15:38.000
And a lot of times it's just trench warfare where they...
01:15:41.000
Over the course of four or five years, they gained nothing, lost nothing.
01:15:44.000
So at the end of the war, when France and Germany and England had to sign this treaty, they were like...
01:15:56.000
We gotta gain something out of this because otherwise our people are gonna kill us.
01:16:00.000
When we signed this treaty and neither of us, nothing changed, and that was all literally for nothing.
01:16:05.000
So then they just blamed Germany for everything.
01:16:09.000
They were like, you guys, you owe France reparations.
01:16:24.000
Imagine being one person and so many things happen because of one thing that you do.
01:16:51.000
I don't know how comparable that is to Gorilla Prince F. In the business world...
01:16:55.000
Business world, that was World War I. It's World War I. Yeah.
01:17:00.000
They didn't know the capabilities of the weapons.
01:17:06.000
Nobody figured out Kid Rock shooting your product.
01:17:09.000
They were doing cavalry charges into machine guns.
01:17:13.000
That other picture of me looked pretty handsome.
01:17:35.000
Damn, he was alive, though, for three years to witness what he did.
01:17:47.000
I bet there's a lot of bragging in the showers.
01:17:56.000
One of my favorite stories from World War I that I've talked about too much is that the Russians and the Germans had a ceasefire to kill wolves.
01:18:04.000
They were in Russia and so many of them were getting killed by wolves that they decided to have a ceasefire.
01:18:15.000
Imagine if you're at trench warfare, and you get shot, and you're screaming, and you're in agony, and then a dog eats you.
01:18:23.000
And there's 30 wolves tearing your friend apart, and there's nothing you can do.
01:18:45.000
They had like shoes that you would wear if you're like walking down the street.
01:19:11.000
He was like, we're gonna be done by, we don't even need to make winter uniforms for these guys.
01:19:21.000
They didn't even have, like, textured shoe soles back then.
01:19:38.000
They got some cool art that came out of this from these guys getting fucked up.
01:20:00.000
Imagine being stuck over there going, what the fuck are we here for?
01:20:28.000
It's the most depressing one I've seen in a while.
01:20:32.000
I always say I'm gonna do it when I'm like sitting in front of the TV. But when I'm sitting in front of the TV, most of the time I just like to be entertained.
01:20:45.000
Dude, I get anxiety sometimes in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep.
01:21:02.000
Everybody's all bullet holes and patched together.
01:21:19.000
I don't know how good this is for podcasting, but you gotta look at Goya.
01:21:31.000
Because that's the first time they ever experienced gas attacks.
01:21:37.000
That was actually, those were the Napoleonic Wars.
01:21:54.000
Bro, can you imagine being alive the first time they start using gas?
01:22:00.000
Like they just got giant fans and they're spraying deadly gas towards you.
01:22:22.000
Well, I think that's what's happening right there.
01:22:31.000
Jamie, go to that one, the bigger one, in the left-hand corner.
01:23:27.000
Wall Street, I think he had that in his office.
01:23:29.000
My favorite scene in that movie is Michael Douglas walking down the beach with that brick phone like he was a pimp.
01:23:39.000
It says his most valuable work was sold for 7.5 and that one would be much more valuable.
01:24:08.000
There's a museum, I forget, it was Sofia Reina maybe in Madrid and I was at it and they have what's called his dark paintings or black paintings, I forget.
01:24:17.000
But apparently Goya lost his mind and all these paintings were from in his own house on the walls.
01:24:23.000
Like that was painted, that wasn't on a canvas.
01:24:29.000
He would paint at night with candles on his head.
01:24:37.000
I think they've said that this was a legend, but I'm not sure.
01:24:53.000
That seems like something someone who would have a fucking candle...
01:25:05.000
I mean, quotes, hacked off all of the murals from the wall and attached them to canvas, and they're now in that museum.
01:25:30.000
The most close combat, bullet-type war you could get into.
01:26:00.000
Like, what if you come back from war and you have these horrific visions?
01:26:07.000
Any of that gets transferred into your child's bank of memory.
01:26:14.000
Yeah, there's some studies on that, like trauma.
01:26:20.000
Well, it seems real if you think about some things that kids are scared of, right?
01:26:40.000
So it's probably difficult to discern how much, but there's probably some kind of information that gets into someone's Their cells, their DNA, their very essence that gets transferred into the kid.
01:26:56.000
Because if you have a kid and you experience that...
01:27:09.000
If you were a good painter, the royal court would hire you to do portraits and shit.
01:27:46.000
And it's, like, dude's, like, body parts placed in a tree because the French were trying to send a message.
01:28:00.000
I forget the details of it, but they put people on stakes like every hundred yards for like seven miles.
01:28:23.000
This is what you're gonna have to deal with if you fuck off.
01:28:30.000
Romans crucified 6,000 people along a 120-mile stretch of road between Rome and Capua.
01:28:38.000
People were traveling for days along a major trade route seeing a new person crucified every 100 feet.
01:28:56.000
But you know, that's like the origins of the Dracula story.
01:29:06.000
Lasts a series of slave rebellions against the Roman Republic known as the Servo Wars.
01:29:12.000
This third rebellion was the only one that directly threatened the Roman heartland of Italy.
01:29:16.000
It was particularly alarming to Rome because its military seemed powerless to suppress it.
01:29:25.000
Damn, 70 gladiators broke out from the gladiator school?
01:29:30.000
They easily defeated the small Roman force sent to recapture them.
01:29:33.000
And within two years, they had been joined by some 120,000 men, women, and children.
01:29:41.000
The able-bodied adults of this large group were a surprisingly effective armed force that repeatedly showed they could withstand or defeat the Roman military...
01:29:49.000
From the local Campanian patrols to the Roman militia and even to trained Roman legions under the Consular Command.
01:29:58.000
This army of slaves roamed across Italy, raiding estates and towns with relative impunity, sometimes dividing into separate but connected bands with several leaders, including the famous former gladiator Spartacus.
01:30:27.000
And back then, like, you had to, like, hear someone tell you what was going on over there.
01:30:45.000
Think if the NFL was like, they're not allowed out.
01:30:49.000
And then you're like, god damn, Christian McCaffrey broke out?
01:30:54.000
How far are we away from sword fighting on TV? If we have slap fighting, just like one nuclear bomb has to go off, and then you could have the ultimate sword fighting championships?
01:31:07.000
I think to witness a sword fight would be so horrific.
01:31:11.000
Imagine, though, if the winner got $100 million.
01:31:15.000
Do you know how many trailer park dudes would step in to a sword fight for $100 million?
01:31:21.000
I think after witnessing the first bout, everyone would go, oh, no.
01:31:34.000
Yeah, oh yeah, they're doing this shit Roger's already after.
01:31:46.000
And they actually wind up doing MMA with each other.
01:31:51.000
Which I would kind of think, if you're really good at MMA, I would kind of like fake the sword.
01:32:00.000
that bitch-ass shield that they have, and I would rush him.
01:32:05.000
I'd rush him and then just trip this guy, pull his helmet off and beat him to death.
01:32:08.000
So in a sword fight that you're saying to say, like, is there no MMA allowed?
01:32:26.000
Like, you can get away with some stuff in this.
01:32:30.000
It's pretty wild that they have these kind of fights.
01:32:44.000
If you go to the ground like that, let go of your fucking sword and take his back.
01:32:51.000
He's dropping some fucking shield strikes to him.
01:33:04.000
How long before it's two dudes in their underwear with a samurai sword?
01:33:18.000
Sprinters would be the first person to get the sword.
01:33:31.000
Do you not think there's someone out there who's thinking about fighting a sword fight right now?
01:33:35.000
There's a dude right now with a rock and a sword.
01:33:38.000
Statistically, there's a guy listening to this right now with holding a sword.
01:33:44.000
Out of all our listeners, there's 1,000 who have a sword.
01:33:51.000
Fencing is just the gentleman's way of poking each other with a sword.
01:34:08.000
I'm not saying they're lame because I'm better.
01:34:16.000
Well, especially now with all the bullets and everything.
01:34:25.000
You know, the Samurais were very reluctant to get involved with guns.
01:34:41.000
They were the first people to hold off the Mongols.
01:34:46.000
The samurai were the first people to hold off the Mongols.
01:35:02.000
In the Pacific, with some of the greatest martial arts inventions of all time coming from this one place.
01:35:56.000
He came to Japan in the Sengoku period and became a retainer in the household of Oda Nobunaga.
01:36:18.000
He was neither a menial nor an indentured servant, but a retainer who was given a stipend by Nobunaga.
01:36:28.000
So that guy, Nobunaga, was the most powerful man in Japan.
01:36:34.000
And Yasuke, I think is his name, came over from a group from Italy, actually.
01:36:42.000
And spent some time there, wanted to go visit that guy, and then this is the part I thought was interesting here.
01:36:47.000
It's like a description of their meeting right here.
01:36:55.000
The blackness of his body is like that of a bull, and he is healthy and of fine physique.
01:37:02.000
Moreover, he has the strength of more than 10 men.
01:37:05.000
The Padres came with him and thanked Lord Nobunaga for his permission to proselytize.
01:37:13.000
Seeing a black man for the first time refused to believe that his skin color was natural and not applied later and made him remove his clothes from the belt upwards.
01:37:25.000
Valignano describes how Nobunaga, thinking that he might have ink on his body, made him take off his clothes and wash his body, but the more he washed and scrubbed, the darker his skin became.
01:37:39.000
And so then he hung out, and it says he took them around Japan for like a year, doing feats of strength and stuff.
01:37:52.000
He was sometimes made to carry Nobunaga-sama's tools.
01:38:02.000
What the fuck were we just talking about before this?
01:38:41.000
...team destroying the women's national team in soccer.
01:38:48.000
So I was doing a comedy festival when that happened in Atlanta.
01:38:54.000
And I was in the green room, and I was already out of place.
01:38:57.000
Like, I was sitting next to somebody that was describing...
01:39:08.000
F.C. Dow under 15. Under 15. Boys squad beat the U.S. women's national team in a scrimmage.
01:39:15.000
Matches in preparation for Thursdays, US WNT friendly versus Russia.
01:39:24.000
While we're 5-2, sitting there discussing, that's actually a different one.
01:39:32.000
5-2, there was another time they played them and lost like 8-1.
01:39:41.000
Sitting in the screen room, this guy's describing to me how the benefits of being polyamorous...
01:39:48.000
I mean, it was a comedy festival, so we're all...
01:39:55.000
How many years in a comedy were you at this point?
01:40:00.000
But we're back there, and I was like, this was before I knew you weren't allowed to be like, that's dumb.
01:40:08.000
I was like, you know that's dumb, what you're saying?
01:40:14.000
And then while we're talking, this girl walks in, she's got her phone, and she's like, oh, the men's team lost again, but still get paid more than the women.
01:40:32.000
And then that started an argument, and she's like, how do you know?
01:40:35.000
And I was like, the slowest, worst guy on the men's team would literally be the greatest...
01:40:47.000
And then I was like, I'm sure they've scrimmaged at some point.
01:40:49.000
I googled it, and it was like, they played the under-15 team and lost 8-0.
01:41:04.000
And then probably when I got canceled, she was like, yeah.
01:41:34.000
There's no guys out there saying, how come there's not a male Taylor Swift?
01:41:40.000
But there's women out there that will say that about male comics that are killing it.
01:41:47.000
Why don't people of Polynesian descent get a check like that?
01:42:03.000
Obviously, being a woman is not holding her back in the slightest.
01:42:07.000
I think those are the two acts, Taylor Swift and Beyonce.
01:42:30.000
They'd have to treat the T-Mobile Center in Vegas like a comedy club.
01:42:34.000
If Taylor Swift- Two shows a night, Tuesday through Thursday.
01:42:42.000
It's not possible to have enough tickets for all the people that want to see her.
01:42:56.000
But she wasn't that big back then either, right?
01:43:14.000
I bet his new album's gonna be a fucking banger.
01:43:20.000
But you push that dude in a corner, I bet he comes out swinging.
01:43:31.000
I know he was definitely in Italy getting his dick sucked on a boat for a little.
01:43:39.000
I think he's recording at least part of it in the Middle East.
01:43:42.000
He might be Sasuke or whatever that guy's name was.
01:43:50.000
Adidas lost billions of dollars to not be in business with them.
01:44:00.000
I don't think they went back to business together.
01:44:02.000
I think when you lose money like that, you go, oh, our bad.
01:44:08.000
It's a rough look for everybody, but Adidas was literally founded by Nazis.
01:44:12.000
They gotta be like, no, we got nothing to do with this.
01:44:20.000
That was then, and this is now, and we are not those people.
01:44:22.000
Can you imagine being the fucking CEO of Adidas and seeing that clip?
01:44:31.000
He was trying to say he loves everybody, right?
01:44:33.000
Yeah, I think that was the message, but boy, it got a little murky.
01:44:40.000
Do you remember that time he sat down in the Oval Office with Trump, and he was just rattling off craziness, and Trump's like, hmm.
01:44:52.000
If Chris Christie was in there saying all that nonsense, he'd be like, what are you talking about?
01:44:57.000
But with Kanye, he's like, this guy's on my side.
01:45:20.000
Then they did it live on SNL. Let me hear this.
01:45:40.000
The thing he did with that song where he's just making a bunch of noise was pretty funny.
01:45:50.000
And Drake wanted it, and Kanye was like, yeah, guess what?
01:45:53.000
So he made a beat and a great song for Drake, and then he released it a couple days later of just him going like, skibbity bop, poop, skip, poop, poop.
01:46:07.000
We play this one song in the green room when we really want to get things popping.
01:46:46.000
I mean, you gotta let a guy like this get out of line every now and again.
01:47:01.000
Bro, when he was doing the podcast, unfortunately, Jamie got COVID, so he couldn't be here for it.
01:47:12.000
What Kanye wanted to do, he didn't like my set.
01:47:17.000
He didn't like my old set, so he wanted to build a set, do the podcast.
01:47:45.000
And then I told him, I go, listen, my producer got COVID. Do you mind just doing it at my studio so I get someone to come in and sub for him?
01:48:00.000
Yeah, it's just COVID. And it was back when COVID was actually COVID. We worried Jamie was going to die.
01:48:32.000
We stayed in the same apartment the entire time.
01:48:51.000
Yeah, my whole family got it, and I didn't get it.
01:48:57.000
And when I was working out, I was like, I'm fighting something off.
01:49:08.000
And I said, I'm just going to do one set of each movement.
01:49:14.000
We're talking about COVID kettlebells and playing A. Come on.
01:49:26.000
He made a song, Kanye made a song with Andre 3000. Fuck, I forget the name of it.
01:49:35.000
He also made a song with Paul McCartney and didn't tell him.
01:49:42.000
I don't think he knew he was going to use it as a song, yeah.
01:49:59.000
Well, also, what better time to be mad at Juice?
01:50:35.000
The one he made with Andre 3000, it's literally like...
01:50:46.000
I think it might end with DMX talking to his kid.
01:51:01.000
This is another one that I got in the green room.
01:51:18.000
My hat, my shoes, my coat, Louis Vuitton's I mean, think of R. Kelly, think of Michael Jackson, what they've been forgiven for because of how great their music was.
01:51:54.000
Real talk came on in the fucking gym and we were dancing.
01:52:05.000
You took your shirt off as the fucking song hit and you started dancing to real talk.
01:52:40.000
Girl, I'm not about to sit up here and argue with you about who's to blame or call no names.
01:52:48.000
Only thing I'm trying to establish with you is not who's right or who's wrong.
01:52:56.000
Just because your friends say she saw me at a club with some other bitches.
01:53:35.000
That's how you end up fucking wearing a Jeffcat to the side.
01:53:47.000
That's a guy that I- But his family was from fucking Illinois.
01:53:56.000
East Peoria, that's why, because it's the same area fucking Pryor came from, man.
01:54:07.000
I mean, I kind of claim Boston, and I didn't move there until I was 13. Yeah.
01:54:16.000
I moved there when I was like 28. Where were you born?
01:54:23.000
Mechanicsburg, PA. My parents used to live there, I told you that.
01:54:44.000
Why did I think Three Mile Island was in Long Island or something?
01:54:54.000
Three Mile Island is in Middletown, Pennsylvania, I think.
01:54:59.000
Bro, Pennsylvania, in my head, doing stand-up in Pennsylvania...
01:55:09.000
My memory of how I got into conspiracy theories...
01:55:15.000
A friend of mine was buddies with this dude who was in a band.
01:55:21.000
He starts talking to me about the JFK assassination.
01:55:33.000
So I was reading this book in my fucking hotel room before the show.
01:55:40.000
If you look into that, the smallest amount, if you look into that, you go, oh, 100% they killed him.
01:55:49.000
The people that say Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, first of all, it doesn't even make sense from an evidence perspective when you look at the bullet.
01:56:02.000
The whole reason why they needed to attribute all these different shots to one bullet, the back and to the left, there's so much wrong with it.
01:56:18.000
The fact that it was released on television because of a comic.
01:56:29.000
And played it on the fucking Geraldo Rivera show.
01:56:32.000
And played it 12 years after the assassination.
01:56:38.000
It was on TV in 75. Imagine some shit that went down in like, you know, 2011. Yeah.
01:56:52.000
Can you imagine if we got some footage out of that?
01:57:00.000
Oh my god, we just got a guy in there going like this.
01:57:14.000
Everybody talks shit on conspiracy theories, and I get it.
01:57:21.000
I saw the clip of you and Eddie Bravo talking about Flat Earth.
01:57:25.000
Your argument there was like, this is the type of conspiracy that fucks up the other conspiracies.
01:57:36.000
I think the reason why those things are so prevalent is not because they're enticing.
01:57:42.000
I think people put them out there purposely to make other conspiracy theories seem stupid.
01:57:48.000
And if they can give you enough fake evidence And enough really eloquent people describing these things and why they're trying to hide this from you.
01:58:04.000
It's not atheist people that believe in Flat Earth for the most part.
01:58:09.000
But for the most part, they believe that there's a firmament above Earth as described in the Bible.
01:58:27.000
Yeah, I don't know how they explain the lights.
01:58:50.000
I think that's how they describe it, as a disc.
01:58:53.000
What I have here was the Bible firmament from Wikipedia.
01:58:57.000
So then there's like the springing and the flat part.
01:59:04.000
The Bible firmament makes sense, again, if you're like, what the fuck is rain?
01:59:11.000
I mean, we have a real problem in that a lot of these religious texts They're describing things that we now have science for.
01:59:35.000
Like, we have, like, really good photos of the moon.
01:59:50.000
And then all of a sudden a kid comes out, occasionally a kid comes out.
01:59:57.000
Well, if you go way, way, way back, they probably had...
02:00:02.000
They probably had no idea that it was their kid.
02:00:04.000
You see some dogs do it, you're like, oh, that's how it's done.
02:00:06.000
Well, people always did it, just like the gorillas of the zoo always did.
02:00:09.000
Of course, but I'm saying, like, you wouldn't be able to explain anything.
02:00:21.000
Fucking hit by lightning, you'd be like, oh my god.
02:00:24.000
Imagine you're living 50,000 years ago and your friend gets killed by lightning in front of you.
02:00:31.000
I was watching this dude get fucked up in a parking lot the other day.
02:00:37.000
It was another Instagram thing that I keep getting sent.
02:00:41.000
Some dude is walking in this parking lot and he just gets fucking nailed.
02:00:50.000
I mean, it's just as scary as like a demon taking you.
02:01:11.000
He's like the most electrocuted guy of all time.
02:01:20.000
He told a story on the podcast, I'm pretty sure.
02:01:36.000
He said he didn't understand what happened when he woke up.
02:01:46.000
Like, quite a few people live, but quite a few people don't.
02:01:49.000
Just imagine if you had no idea what electrical storms- Yeah, I think if it strikes something near you, you live.
02:01:57.000
If it's like a direct strike- No, you can get hit and live.
02:02:03.000
But there's different kinds of lightning strikes, right?
02:02:06.000
There's lightning strikes that split trees in half.
02:02:09.000
If you get hit with one of those bitches, you're fucked.
02:02:11.000
You know, you see them branches in the sky like, some of them are fucking thick.
02:02:20.000
Do you know that that's what they used to think that rain was?
02:02:39.000
Well, first of all, they were just learning how to write things down, right?
02:02:42.000
And they're just figuring out that you have orgasm inside of a woman, she can get pregnant.
02:02:48.000
So they probably would see rain come down, and they realized that all these things would grow out of the rain.
02:03:05.000
I don't think they thought cum was bad back then.
02:03:06.000
They probably thought it was like super valuable.
02:03:08.000
But there's a book, there's literally a book based on some of the things that they think from this.
02:03:17.000
It's by this guy named John Marco Allegro, who was a, he was an ordained minister.
02:03:22.000
But he became agnostic as he started studying theology.
02:03:26.000
And then he was one of the people that was – he was sent to decipher the Dead Sea Scrolls, which is like the oldest verse.
02:03:45.000
So this dude, one of the things that he came up with at the end of this 14 year deciphering of the Dead Sea Scrolls was he thinks that Christ was an ancient Sumerian word.
02:04:00.000
He traced it back to the roots of an ancient Sumerian word, which meant a mushroom covered in God's semen.
02:04:11.000
That for a mushroom, and they thought that when God came on the earth and the mushrooms raised up, when you eat the mushrooms and trip your balls, you're experiencing God.
02:04:24.000
If you're living 50,000 years ago and you find a fucking- If you're living today.
02:04:28.000
And you start chomping on them, and the next thing you know, you're like- Yeah.
02:04:32.000
The universe opens up with all its secrets to you.
02:04:44.000
Imagine if God's come was the only way you could achieve enlightenment.
02:05:01.000
Or do you want to just live this life over and over and over again and never get it right?
02:05:24.000
The only way to get there is you gotta suck God off.
02:05:31.000
But God tried to test a guy in the Bible to kill his kid.
02:05:36.000
You don't think God would get you right to the point where you're at the tip and he'd go, psych?
02:05:40.000
Yeah, just for the record, you were going to do it.
02:05:48.000
You really think that if God would have you suck his dick?
02:05:55.000
Why would I want to get this fucking stand-up comedian to suck my dick?
02:06:02.000
But if you think about what God forced people to do in the Bible, you know what I mean?
02:06:12.000
Who are the father and the son, rather, that he was...
02:06:28.000
Imagine one lady eats an apple, and he's like, I'm done with you people.
02:06:36.000
No more love, no more Eden, no more beautiful, perfect world, because one person ate an apple.
02:06:43.000
Do you think it's ridiculous that that same god would want you to suck his dick?
02:06:51.000
He just said he'd want you to beg for it, and then he'd go, no, no, no.
02:07:11.000
Clearly, that's probably, if that really did happen, clearly, schizophrenia, right?
02:07:22.000
That's literally every homeless dude in Central Park.
02:07:26.000
I mean, why is a sheep herder with a fucking stone knife?
02:07:34.000
I mean, who knows what really happened that was the original version of these stories?
02:07:43.000
Damn, I wonder if he wanted to kill him, his fucking huge dick.
02:07:56.000
That's what's crazy about any religious doctrine.
02:08:00.000
I mean, the Mormons are the best example of it, right?
02:08:12.000
But boy, I'm not certain about a lot of people being wrong.
02:08:22.000
A 14-year-old boy in 1820 found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus, and only he could read it because he had a magic rock A seer stone, if you will.
02:08:36.000
So when the townspeople came to find these magic tablets, the fucking angels took them away.
02:08:43.000
I'm not going to show anybody but you, Joseph Smith.
02:08:53.000
I mean, if you're a schizophrenic 14-year-old in 1820, and you're really charismatic, you'd probably convince a lot of people of a lot of stupid shit.
02:08:59.000
Schizophrenic wearing a top hat and like a tall coat, I'd believe him.
02:09:06.000
They'd pull up in the, you know, this can cure all ales, tuberculosis.
02:09:15.000
He spits on him, he goes, how's it with tobacco juice?
02:09:34.000
You've never seen the Outlaw Josie Wales and you've seen All Quiet on the Western Front?
02:09:42.000
I just gotta watch it on a day where I don't have anything else to do but be depressed.
02:09:48.000
You're gonna go, I can't believe people did this.
02:09:50.000
Dude, looking at those paintings of that guy with the gas masks on, I was like, Otto Dix.
02:10:04.000
So he was a Confederate soldier, and they were after him.
02:10:14.000
And so this guy is gonna turn him in, because he's like, everybody knows who he is, and they figured out who he is, and he's worth a lot of money.
02:10:23.000
And so that guy is singing Dixie, but as soon as he goes the other way, he's gonna be singing the Union Army song.
02:10:55.000
That dude that he's with is a kid who winds up getting shot and killed.
02:11:02.000
But there's a scene where he was hiding underneath his blanket and he was pretending that he's sick.
02:11:09.000
And these robbers came up and he shot these dudes.
02:11:15.000
After he said to Outlaw Josie Warehouse, he goes, we whooped him again, Josie.
02:11:21.000
I used to say that all the time when I got off stage.
02:11:29.000
I say that at the end of the Battle of Shiloh, they were asking Ulysses Grant because they got rocked on the first day.
02:11:49.000
Imagine that was a thing that meant you kicked someone's ass, lick them?
02:12:06.000
I don't know if that's old or just what they said in a creek in Mechanicsburg.
02:12:19.000
A guy would have to be so tough that you knew what he was saying.
02:12:26.000
You could be one of those guys who wants to fight Mike Tyson.
02:12:42.000
I was like, do you know how long that would take?
02:12:46.000
And he would have to trust you that you loved him.
02:12:57.000
But that is a case of a guy who thinks he's protected by laws getting out of line and insulting one of the greatest boxers of all time.
02:13:08.000
You're just insulting him, saying, you should be in a straitjacket.
02:13:12.000
How about shut your mouth and write things down?
02:13:23.000
This is a Reddit post from Scoop Malinowski, who was the reporter.
02:13:34.000
I found out the other day, but you guys were so far along, I didn't want to bring it back up, but since you did now...
02:13:40.000
I was thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah, I talk about it all the time.
02:13:42.000
I want to know who this guy is, because it's so crazy to have that guy screaming at you?
02:13:48.000
So I was thinking, why isn't anybody doing anything to stop this madman who just assaulted the heavyweight champ and then came out grabbing his nuts and sneering and swearing at the crowd?
02:14:09.000
For the first two to three seconds, I almost had a heart attack.
02:14:12.000
LOL. But then I froze, and we just looked each other in the eye for about a minute as he did his tirade.
02:14:20.000
I kept my cool, which seems to fluster him at the end, as he became embarrassed and even seemed to have tears in his eyes.
02:14:29.000
He knew he was going to lose to Lewis, and despite the $30 million payday, he was still going to be in debt as his purse was going to all his creditors.
02:14:38.000
His second wife was also divorcing him, so it was a rock bottom time for Tyson.
02:14:42.000
This guy's like psychologically examining Tyson now.
02:14:45.000
He's since turned his life around, become a positive example.
02:14:49.000
I actually had dinner with him after the memorial for our mutual friend and the artist, Leroy Neiman, a couple of years ago.
02:14:58.000
At Ringside Lounge in Jersey City, in Jersey, we even did an interview about tennis.
02:15:02.000
He said, Navarrolova is the greatest, not Serena.
02:15:10.000
I also attended two of his Undisputed Truth shows on Broadway at the invite of a mutual friend, Mario Costa.
02:15:22.000
I'm happy to say it looks like it would ultimately be a happy ending, not a tragic one for Mike Tyson, when the day comes decades down the road.
02:15:39.000
It's like, you yelled, he put him in a straitjacket.
02:15:44.000
And if that guy made eye contact with Mike while he was yelling that for a minute, no.
02:15:58.000
There's the New York Times story on it, too, that talks about it.
02:16:00.000
It says, Ryder lost his head seeing Tyson's antics.
02:16:30.000
That's pretty much just explaining everything that happened.
02:16:39.000
He was wearing a fedora with a thing that said press in the side.
02:16:58.000
When the guy just gets in the middle of a brawl and you're going to taunt him?
02:17:08.000
Like, if you could go back and say something more clever, wouldn't you?
02:17:17.000
He's talking to Triple G. That's super out of a cartoon, though.
02:17:37.000
Put him in a straitjacket and then he comes back with, I'm going to fuck you.
02:17:57.000
It was the scariest shit talking I've ever heard.
02:18:07.000
Imagine wearing that fedora and saying that to Mike Tyson.
02:18:13.000
And then getting hit with, I'm gonna fuck you till you love me.
02:18:19.000
He got fined, like, hundreds of thousands of dollars for biting Lennox Lewis.
02:18:31.000
I like how this guy's got his arm on his jacket.
02:18:46.000
You can't, like, if that guy holds his jacket, is that like an erasing machine, like, from fucking Men in Black?
02:18:56.000
He wasn't just biting Lennox Lewis in the thigh.
02:19:04.000
That was like the first Tyson fight I ever watched.
02:19:09.000
I was too young for all of his, everything he did.
02:19:32.000
When it comes to fighting, you're like, no way.
02:19:36.000
Well, it was back in the 80s, that was the case.
02:19:44.000
Every single comment about him is like, yeah, he's such a nice guy.
02:19:49.000
Yeah, he wins the fight, he's like, headshot, bang, fuck you!
02:19:54.000
I mean, he was losing to the number one pound-for-pound guy in the world.
02:20:06.000
He's like, you gotta pull this out of the fire.
02:20:12.000
That's like the coolest, that interview of him getting like...
02:20:15.000
You just get to witness a guy being the happiest dude on earth.
02:20:20.000
My other favorite one is Stylebender after he knocked out Polaton.
02:20:35.000
Coming into the fifth round, you were behind on the scores.
02:21:36.000
I mean, he just won it in the most spectacular manner possible.
02:21:41.000
The greatest way to win a fight, by far, is a head kick knockout.
02:21:48.000
And for him to land that in the fifth round of a fight that he was losing and then say, there is no pound for pound.
02:22:02.000
Because that guy is in the most elevated state of understanding what winning is all about.
02:22:11.000
He beats the best pound for pound fighter in the world, becomes the UFC welterweight champ, in a fight he was losing!
02:22:26.000
See, you can find the actual head kick, because when he head kicked him, he doesn't even think about following up.
02:22:48.000
He's in a separate dimension when that happens.
02:23:08.000
They probably pulled the Rocky music off of YouTube.
02:24:03.000
I mean if you're not drinking beer and watching this video,
02:24:36.000
The fact that his nickname is Rocky, and then the fact that this is like literally one of the most spectacular victories in the history of the sport.
02:24:48.000
I fall down the same rabbit hole every time I watch UFC. I watch Conor Nate 1, then I watch Nate Leon.
02:25:01.000
When he starts hitting him, when Nate starts hitting him.
02:25:03.000
When Nate cracked him and rocked him and then he points at him.
02:25:13.000
He was doing, like, spinning elbows to the head.
02:25:35.000
I mean, there's multiple moments in this fight where Leon's in so much trouble after that punch that he could have got KO'd.
02:25:50.000
And Nate almost clipped him with the same one, too.
02:26:01.000
And he just looked at the clock and got a clip of the right hook.
02:26:35.000
But you got to go back to Paul Daly versus Nick Diaz.
02:26:49.000
And Paul Daly was one of the scariest strikers that's ever fought in the sport.
02:26:58.000
He beat the fuck out of Frank Shamrock in this fight.
02:27:00.000
And he kept talking shit to him the whole time.
02:27:08.000
The thing that he had over everybody was that, first of all, he didn't give a fuck if you hit him.
02:27:13.000
He wasn't worried about getting hit at all, which is crazy.
02:27:15.000
But on top of that, this motherfucker swam back and forth from Alcatraz.
02:27:45.000
So he would get hit by these guys who would swarm him, but eventually he would start putting it on him.
02:27:54.000
He just never got tired, and he didn't give up.
02:28:04.000
I mean, Nate's great, but Nick was the real star of the family.
02:28:07.000
He just never got to the UFC while he was in this state.
02:28:11.000
If he was a UFC champion while he was in this form, because he was in a form during Strikeforce where he was fucking up everybody.
02:28:19.000
And not just knocking them out and beating them up, like this fight right here.
02:28:26.000
The Frank Shamrock fight, like Frank Shamrock was a fucking legend, man.
02:28:47.000
And the thing is, he would keep talking shit to you and keep punching you, and you're getting tired.
02:28:57.000
And you've got to realize how good Frank Shamrock was in his prime.
02:29:00.000
Because Frank was like the original mixed martial artist, the original complete mixed martial artist.
02:29:18.000
Which is just wild to think that a guy could do that to a guy like Fran Chimer.
02:29:22.000
That's how good Nick Diaz was when he was in his prime.
02:29:28.000
And the problem was the audience was just quite a bit smaller.
02:30:03.000
This is another guy that just had just ridiculous knockout power and just tough as shit.
02:30:08.000
But you're just dealing with a guy in Nick that literally never got tired, was as game as they came, didn't give a fuck, just in there having fun.
02:30:21.000
Dude, he had one of his fights overturned because he was literally high while he was fighting.
02:30:32.000
They overturned the decision because he was high.
02:30:40.000
Maybe for them, but I'm sure it's not like a...
02:30:50.000
I think it was Takenori Gomi that he submitted.
02:30:53.000
I'm pretty sure it was Gomi because Gomi was a super dangerous guy from Japan who was a baseball player that converted into fighting and he would throw a right hand literally like a fucking fastball, man.
02:31:10.000
Yeah, so Nick is putting it on him, but Gomi cracked him.
02:31:15.000
Gomi cracked him and hurt him at one point in time, and he got like a big cut over one of his cheeks.
02:31:23.000
Well, this is just, this is how Nick would do people.
02:31:27.000
No, you gotta go a little bit back up so you see what happened.
02:31:32.000
So what happened was, Nick was putting it on him, and Gomi tried to take him down, and Nick put him in a gogoplata.
02:31:42.000
So here, Nick is beating him up, and then Gomi goes to try to take him down, and Nick gets him in a wild maneuver.
02:31:55.000
I mean, it's like a crazy move to pull off in MMA. Almost never happens.
02:31:59.000
And for Nick to pull it off on Gomi, high as a kite...
02:32:04.000
Wait, this is the fight he lost because he was high?
02:32:07.000
He's high as fuck during the- because this fight- this was Pride.
02:32:15.000
I think that- I believe that fight was in Vegas, which was the problem.
02:32:36.000
The second we get to Diaz highlights and R. Kelly.