Joe Rogan Experience #2075 - Protect Our Parks 10 (Part 2)
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 16 minutes
Words per Minute
174.83022
Summary
In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the boys talk about the Lizzo case, the Khloe Kardashian case, and why they don t give a fuck about Beyonc s flute. They also talk about why the Smithsonian should be mad about the drone attack in Yemen. Joe also talks about why he doesn t care about Lady Gaga's new album and why he thinks she should be fired for being a diva. Joe and the boys also discuss why they think Lady Gaga is the greatest artist of all time and why it s a good thing she doesn t play the flute anymore. They also discuss the time Lady Gaga played a 200-year-old flute on stage at a concert and how she should have been fired for it. Also, they talk about what they would do if they were the president of the United States and how they would handle the situation if they had a flute in the Oval Office. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Please do not use this music in place of any other music used in this episode. Thank you for any amount you can manage to pay for this podcast. We are working on transcribing this podcast and making sure the audio quality is as good as possible. Please don t forget to rate, review and review it on Apple Podcasts, and share it with your friends and family! and tag us on Insta: . if you like what you're listening to this podcast, we'll be sure to send us your thoughts on the podcast and we'll get a shoutout in the next episode! and the next one will be getting a shout out :) of course, we're listening out on the next week's episode will be the best music you listen to it on the pod! of the podcast, too! Cheers! -Joe Rogan Podcast, by day, by night! -JOEJOE ROGAN PODCAST by night, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. -The Joe Rogans Podcast by Night Train by Night, by Night Crew by Night - by night Crews -Night Crew by Day, Night Crew, by Norm and Night Crew? -Day, Night, Day, and Night, All Day, By Night, By Day, by Day - by Night! by Night
Transcript
00:00:06.000
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
00:00:11.000
Fights are nuts because all cats will fight each other.
00:00:14.000
Like if they find each other out in the wild, they're never really cool with each other.
00:00:45.000
No, the Lizzo book that I was saying in the picture.
00:01:22.000
I thought when she got in trouble, it would just...
00:01:28.000
I thought when she, they were coming after her for bottom shaming.
00:01:35.000
I thought it was like, it would put an end to like, do you see the worst thing she did?
00:01:50.000
Like, she made a performer show a banana for pussy or something?
00:02:01.000
Although I will say I was actually pissed when they made her twerk with, I think it was James Madison's flute.
00:02:13.000
I think it symbolizes the time we're living in.
00:02:30.000
I genuinely don't care about that guy's fucking flute.
00:02:40.000
They're like, yeah, yeah, in your fucking face.
00:03:15.000
Imagine the street cred you would get if you spiked it and said, fuck white supremacy.
00:03:24.000
That would be the most polarizing moment in human history.
00:03:31.000
For the record, I take back my opinion from one minute ago.
00:03:35.000
The thing that does suck about it, though, is them covering it.
00:03:40.000
They're covering it because they want you to be mad.
00:04:00.000
There's fucking drone bombings in Yemen and invasion of Ukraine.
00:04:23.000
I mean, imagine if they approved that costume, so they approved this costume.
00:04:49.000
It would be funny if they were like, this is actually a Native American flute.
00:05:02.000
And she's like, I'm playing a president's my instrument.
00:05:06.000
And so she fucking moved her body a little bit.
00:05:17.000
The problem people are having with Lizzo has nothing to do with the flute or history.
00:05:22.000
It has everything to do with the fact that she's a black woman playing a flute that belonged to a slave owner.
00:05:35.000
If you're a right-wing conservative person and you get mad at Lizzo playing the flute like that...
00:05:45.000
He's mad at that we're playing a blood slave owner.
00:05:48.000
No, the right-wing people are mad that she played that.
00:05:54.000
Listen, he's saying that the right-wing people are mad.
00:05:57.000
He's saying the right-wing people are mad because she's playing the flute of a slave owner?
00:06:10.000
Because the right-wing people are mad that she is being disrespectful.
00:06:24.000
The right-wing people are mad because Lizzo is supposedly being disrespectful to a historical flute.
00:06:32.000
But clearly she's not being disrespectful at all.
00:06:48.000
If you're going to hire Lizzo to do it, What do you want her to do?
00:07:36.000
You're surprised this lady made money to eat a banana?
00:07:56.000
If they're your backup dancers, how do you run the thing?
00:08:02.000
Do you run the thing like, are you a benevolent dictator?
00:08:08.000
You gotta keep control of these ladies and look at them out of line.
00:08:18.000
Put those ladies on tour and their ankles couldn't sustain it.
00:08:30.000
It was like these big girls that were dancing on tour.
00:08:34.000
They were all blowing out MCLs and- Well that just looks like an airport.
00:08:38.000
Damn, look at that big dog back in the- An airport!
00:08:41.000
This just looks like- Look at the fucking- Saturday night at the club.
00:09:12.000
I think she might stop herself, but she would be interested because she fucking rules.
00:09:16.000
Well, listen, man, if you watch all that, that's all fun to me.
00:09:20.000
I don't have any problem with the way she played that flute.
00:09:35.000
They were saying it was fucking liberal-ass Smithsonian.
00:09:40.000
So they wanted it to happen because they wanted her to play the flute of a slave owner?
00:10:03.000
One of the most famous black artists is playing a flute of a guy who owns slaves.
00:10:13.000
Imagine being at the concert and this guy's playing a fucking president's flute and you hear the audience go, I don't know how I feel about this.
00:10:22.000
Yeah, but then I saw it on Twitter, and I had a couple drinks, and I was looking at it, and I was going, I don't know how I feel about this.
00:10:27.000
I thought the show would have been like, I was at the show where she played the fucking president's flute.
00:10:40.000
It really all depends upon your fucking harmonica.
00:10:48.000
Although I will say, if some Jew ripped a fucking electric guitar that Hitler owned, it would be cool.
00:10:55.000
Like, if somebody let Paul McCartney play Napoleon's piano, that would be pretty fucking dope to watch.
00:11:15.000
Well, they stole black rock and roll and then they came over here and corrupted our sluts.
00:11:25.000
Bro, their fucking story from Hamburg is like one of the wildest stories ever.
00:11:30.000
They went over to Hamburg, Germany, and they played like six days a week, eight hours a day.
00:11:39.000
And they came back to Liverpool, and everybody's like, what the fuck happened?
00:11:47.000
If you drink that, I'm gonna punch you in the stomach.
00:11:56.000
What are you, pouring that out for the Hamas people?
00:12:27.000
We're popping it off like we're at a gas station.
00:12:45.000
No, don't piss in the fucking not buffalo face.
00:13:16.000
There's more urine than I expected, I'll be honest.
00:13:33.000
The competition's all ruined, because Ari just pissed in front of us.
00:13:39.000
I've seen Ari piss more than I've seen any other man piss in the entire 56 years I've been alive.
00:13:52.000
It's like you had a pie chart of all times I've seen Ari piss.
00:13:56.000
It would be like Ari and a few fucking drunken shadows in the back alleyway of a bar where a bunch of guys are pissing together.
00:14:14.000
Ari's like, what are you in the bathroom right here?
00:14:31.000
You know who has a good is, Stanhope has a urinal right outside of his bar in his house.
00:15:19.000
He's one of my favorite people that I've ever known.
00:15:29.000
He's got some of the best stand-up, like, just over the years.
00:15:38.000
I saw him at King King in Hollywood, and he goes, you know, I make fun of everybody.
00:15:41.000
People ask me, like, how come no one makes fun of Jews?
00:15:44.000
And I thought about it, and I was like, I mean, that's a decent point.
00:16:16.000
And I'm like, what are you doing with the suits?
00:16:18.000
And he's like, I fucking went to the thrift store.
00:16:25.000
He's just saying, hey guys, I'm not going to take any of this seriously.
00:16:35.000
The internet was still weird, but he was all over it.
00:16:39.000
And he couldn't get a thing on Netflix or whatever, and he just sold out all these theaters in New York, and we all went to every show.
00:16:45.000
And it was great, but I didn't know you could do that.
00:16:50.000
You needed to get Comedy Central or Tonight Show.
00:16:54.000
Well, somewhere along the line, people realize that they can become the gatekeepers.
00:17:01.000
Well, he had an offer for San Jose Improv, like, we'll give you $20,500 for the week.
00:17:04.000
He goes, I can do that one night at a bar show.
00:17:07.000
And then he goes, oh, wait, I can do that one night at a bar show.
00:17:09.000
Yeah, and then he started doing that everywhere.
00:17:16.000
No matter what happened, he just stayed himself.
00:17:21.000
We were talking about this last night, like negative examples.
00:17:26.000
It's just like you gotta figure out a way to go through all whatever the fuck you're going through and say, okay, this is what's happening to me, but I'm still me.
00:17:40.000
You gotta keep it up, and you can't keep it up forever.
00:17:50.000
Why'd you go to the bathroom without pissing bottles?
00:18:01.000
If you drink it, you'll be the king of Skankfest.
00:18:16.000
The guy who did the baby bird, he would have drank it.
00:18:18.000
He goes, I'll eat all this if I get an internship job for free!
00:18:36.000
You've got to be this because you're already 71. So you've got to be this guy all the way.
00:18:56.000
He literally, we were standing there with Jamie, and he was like, Jamie's the best.
00:19:03.000
Jamie, you went home and jacked off to that compliment.
00:19:07.000
On a scale of 7 to 10. Just last night or today?
00:19:20.000
Now that Joe's not here, I'm going to tell you the truth.
00:19:23.000
Now that Joe's not here, I'm going to tell you the truth.
00:19:28.000
Jamie, you got a little bitch, tiny penis, dude.
00:19:53.000
He bullied me earlier in the football season because he knows I like Notre Dame Fighting Irish.
00:19:58.000
And then he tried to bully me and then his team got puffed out in front of everybody.
00:20:12.000
That's funny, because they are literally the Jewish team.
00:20:26.000
They're like, you've got to start watching Football League.
00:20:52.000
Shane claims nastiness in others a lot, but he's quite often nasty.
00:20:55.000
Do you think YouTube would allow us to show piss on your desk?
00:21:12.000
Oh, Jesus Christ, I can't believe I have to handle your piss bottle.
00:21:23.000
Whatever's going on inside, you can't be fixed by science.
00:21:28.000
I peed in a cup once, they were like, you have it.
00:21:34.000
They were like, this is too warm to be healthy.
00:21:42.000
Remember when you first got committee and you're pissing in two directions, you're like, something's up.
00:21:55.000
How weird is it that there's diseases that can only be transmitted through sex?
00:22:16.000
Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, herpes, AIDS. Are we just naming STDs?
00:22:21.000
But the wild ones are the ones that kill you, like syphilis kills.
00:22:26.000
It makes you have holes in your face and you see your fucking jawbone.
00:22:36.000
Syphilis was the one they brought back from Native Americans.
00:22:42.000
Yeah, what happened was they had a There was a form of it that existed in Europe from people fucking animals, but then they got another one when people went over to North America and they fucked Native Americans.
00:22:56.000
And then they went back and brought it to Europe.
00:22:57.000
There seems to be some real evidence in the 1400s that started happening right after guys went back from North America.
00:23:06.000
And people started getting like holes in their head and shit.
00:23:11.000
There's like these really ancient drawings of what people looked like when they were suffering from syphilis.
00:23:17.000
Imagine fucking a hot Choctaw back then, though.
00:23:27.000
And then you get some disease that makes holes in your fucking scalp.
00:23:32.000
Show images of people dying from syphilis, Jamie.
00:23:41.000
I didn't know you could get a STD from a Native American.
00:23:45.000
And again, I'm not exactly sure about the simplest thing.
00:23:49.000
I've been told that it existed already, but then I've been told that it's also different strains, that the one that existed in Europe was very different than the one that existed in North America.
00:23:58.000
Imagine, instead of going to the fucking doctor at the Bob Hope Clinic, you'd have to take a rod down your fucking cock hole.
00:24:07.000
Guys are still like, I'd rather not use a comic.
00:24:12.000
Imagine going to church with that in your face.
00:24:23.000
Jamie, show photographs of people dying from syphilis.
00:25:01.000
There's a bunch of diseases that before things like penicillin, they just killed everyone.
00:25:10.000
Before they came up with antibiotics, people were fucked.
00:25:12.000
Do you know that if the Spanish flu happened today, that they would be able to cure all of it with antibiotics?
00:25:22.000
They were discussing what was the cause of the death of the Spanish flu.
00:25:25.000
And it was a bunch of different diseases that would be also caused by this compromised immune system from the flu.
00:25:32.000
You're getting devastated by the flu, and then you get emphysema or tuberculosis or something like that.
00:25:39.000
But they were saying that whatever these diseases were, in a modern hospital setting, if you came and you had them, they'd give you antibiotics, and you'd probably survive.
00:25:48.000
Do you think I'd be with COVID a hundred years from now?
00:25:50.000
Like, just give them, like, muscle, total, that doesn't mean...
00:25:52.000
Well, the Spanish flu would just kill everybody.
00:25:58.000
Yeah, but I'm saying, wouldn't they have some new medical thing?
00:26:01.000
They're like, oh, you just give them a shot of this.
00:26:04.000
But it also would be like, why was everybody so sick?
00:26:11.000
We're lucky to be alive now and in this country.
00:26:14.000
Dude, we're also, we, like, what the COVID thing should wake people the fuck up to is that this whole thing is super fragile.
00:26:21.000
And you think it's not because it's not right now.
00:26:24.000
Because right now Ari can cough and I can fucking unzip my, or pull my fucking cord and adjust my seat and everything's fine.
00:26:31.000
But if right while all this is going on, we got hit by an asteroid, like, right now.
00:26:40.000
We could just be chilling, and you could just hear a subtle boom in the distance, like, boom.
00:26:47.000
And that's a five-mile-wide chunk of iron hitting China.
00:27:04.000
Crows probably evolve and crows grow thumbs and their wings start having hands on them and they start making buildings.
00:27:16.000
I was just in Yucatan, and they said the whole Gulf of Mexico was just the comet.
00:27:30.000
Yeah, that was just a theory until, like, I think the 80s.
00:27:37.000
Yeah, but they had to figure out things like core samples and shit.
00:27:56.000
Well, the thing is, it's like every June and every September, we go...
00:28:17.000
Can you imagine how gay you'd feel if you were from another fucking country?
00:28:20.000
Well, if we did this podcast in Canada, we'd be in jail.
00:28:27.000
You imagine how pissed the Taliban would be if we were in Afghanistan and having fun like this?
00:28:36.000
If we were in Afghanistan doing this, first of all, you cussed.
00:28:40.000
They must watch our porn and be like, this is pretty good.
00:28:45.000
What if Saudi Arabia steps in and buys to protect our parks?
00:28:50.000
People that put on the Francis Ngato, Tyson Fury fight, they step in and go, listen guys, America has fallen.
00:28:58.000
You can either accept that and move to a place where we have zero crime.
00:29:06.000
You accept that move to a place where we have zero crime.
00:29:11.000
Are you guys switching glasses like little gaylords?
00:29:50.000
Jesus Christ, you just ruined our deal with Netflix.
00:30:03.000
We've got to start supporting those guys, because we're going to have to make the jump, dude.
00:30:08.000
The move is we need to get in the oil business.
00:30:15.000
Imagine we have Protect Our Parks gas stations.
00:30:17.000
How many bros would only get their gas at Protect Our Parks gas stations?
00:30:26.000
If we branched off into gas stations, they'd be like, hey, fuckers.
00:30:43.000
Every guy named Philip filling up would go fill her up.
00:31:05.000
Is this the only time in your life where you can't really predict what the world's gonna be like in two years?
00:31:19.000
Soon, like, seven years ago fashion will be back.
00:31:28.000
But it makes you wonder, are kids younger than us, really young, going to go the other way?
00:31:44.000
Are you one of those guys that has, like, idealistic views of the younger generation?
00:31:49.000
Because that's, like, the gayest version of dudes possible.
00:32:00.000
The next one that was like, hey, our fucking older sisters sucked.
00:32:09.000
Forget about this idea of generations, but just a collective group of human beings is only pushed to action when they have to be.
00:32:17.000
And if everything collapses, and if the corruption and the chaos is so bad that you don't feel safe ever, then we'll do something.
00:32:27.000
But every step before that, you get more and more cowards that figure out a way to just...
00:32:52.000
You know, this is like a fucking cycle of nature.
00:32:55.000
They talked about this in the ancient Hindu texts and the Vedas.
00:33:09.000
These are like these times where people are working towards something and then they achieve it and they get too successful and things get weird and strife.
00:33:18.000
And then they start creating their own bullshit and not appreciating anything, and not practicing gratitude, and it all fucking comes tumbling down with greed and deception.
00:33:29.000
Yeah, they're like, we've accepted this already, now what's wrong?
00:33:36.000
Because in Gaza Strip, they're not bringing up gender.
00:33:44.000
They're also not very divided on whether or not kill all the Jews is okay to say.
00:33:53.000
I'll be honest, if I was a guy in Gaza and they blew up a fucking block of a city, I'd go, it's time to kill all the Jews.
00:34:02.000
I mean, I'm close anyway, and nothing's happened to me.
00:34:17.000
And isn't it kind of amazing that there really is a solution?
00:34:28.000
If we really made every world leader, if they all got together, and, you know, we obviously wouldn't have the security do it.
00:34:39.000
Otherwise, it'd be bad actors who'd take advantage of the fact that we were trapped somewhere, something.
00:34:51.000
And then have someone talk to you about things.
00:34:53.000
We're going to have some speakers, do mushrooms the whole weekend.
00:34:57.000
And have some really calm people talk to you about alternative ideas.
00:35:12.000
You should keep that folder always open when this party's gone.
00:35:19.000
I know, America, fuck yeah, but also this is the holiday edition.
00:35:23.000
So maybe we should start bonging beers for America, also Christmas.
00:35:31.000
Whoever's bonging gets to pick the wonderful Christmas song.
00:36:45.000
This is the most played Christmas song of all time.
00:37:17.000
Ooh, I think P. Diddy was up in that for a hot minute.
00:37:23.000
I'll tell you what, it turns out P. Diddy fucked a lot of boys.
00:37:34.000
Bro, no one's funnier about P. Diddy than 50 Cent.
00:38:09.000
This is like when you fucking roll with Pandora and the ad comes on.
00:38:27.000
And this is back when black folk weren't allowed to do stuff.
00:38:51.000
While I'm drunk, the only way to do this properly is to not pay attention.
00:39:00.000
They fired Meghan Markle, Bruce Springsteen, Obama, and Kardashian.
00:39:54.000
I've never seen somebody on stage more that I've been like, wait, him?
00:40:31.000
Adam Sandler's Hanukkah or The Waitress's Christmas, rather.
00:40:47.000
I just ran into him when I went to New York for the UFC. I landed at the airport right when he was about to leave.
00:41:03.000
He used to come to Swartzen parties and just hang out, just be chill.
00:41:06.000
I've known that guy for, fuck, I don't even know now.
00:41:17.000
During the pandemic, we watched a bunch of his movies.
00:41:25.000
During the pandemic, when everybody got locked in their houses for fucking two months, remember those days?
00:41:31.000
We watched nothing but Adam Sandler movies because it was something that I would enjoy and they would enjoy.
00:41:59.000
You know who's not a fan is the Harvard president.
00:42:13.000
If you look at the reviews, like professional critics.
00:42:17.000
If professional critics review Adam Sandler movies, they're horrible about it.
00:42:24.000
If you don't like the Zohan, if you can't watch that movie and laugh your fucking ass off, then...
00:42:34.000
You can't pretend this is fucking apocalypse now.
00:42:38.000
You're either on the side of funny or against funny.
00:42:42.000
If you don't like Hubie Halloween, you are the dumbest motherfucker of all time.
00:43:05.000
It's been a while since you guys called it W. Well, they're doing alright in business.
00:43:28.000
Susan Sarandon got a nice taste of a little dreidel up her ass.
00:43:41.000
You know, everybody wants to be a fucking political activist.
00:43:53.000
You're either on the side of funny, you don't care, or you're against the funny.
00:44:00.000
Susan Sarandon apologized for a terrible mistake of making anti-Jewish comments at pro-Palestinian rally.
00:44:07.000
She's just an actress who got caught up in shit and was like, oh, people aren't.
00:44:12.000
If I was up there and they handed me a mic and there were Palestinian flags, I would say the wildest shit.
00:44:56.000
He's just clearly, specifically naming what he wants to do.
00:45:38.000
I'm not gay, not am I. Man, Jordan Peele is cooking.
00:46:48.000
You think what Angel Salazar did with Scarface, that dude should be able to do with that YouTube video.
00:47:03.000
After being delivered from homosexuality, Andrew Caldwell says he now has a girlfriend.
00:47:45.000
You've made out with Big J. Where's the whiskey?
00:47:49.000
Louis really made out with him, but yet no one worries about either one of them being gay.
00:47:58.000
Well, that's one of the beautiful things about the comedy community.
00:48:01.000
Nobody gives a fuck if you're gay if you're funny.
00:48:03.000
Nobody gives a fuck if you're trans, if you're a girl, if you're a boy.
00:48:12.000
It's like, let me do something super gay that is hilarious.
00:48:30.000
He had a joke, he had a joke, I don't know if he put it out, whatever.
00:48:36.000
He had a joke about, he plays Call of Duty, him and his gay friends play Call of Duty, and they're like, in there, like, looking at, like, like, ooh, look at the wallpaper!
00:48:58.000
It's the only game where you're shooting and decorating at the same time.
00:49:10.000
To the point where you go in the battlefield, your commander yells at you.
00:49:13.000
He's like, all right, everyone, your mission, murder everyone!
00:49:18.000
I'm just like, I played Nathan Lane in the birdcage.
00:49:30.000
But in Call of Duty, when you kill someone else on another team, you can hear three seconds of their audio.
00:49:36.000
So all you hear on the battlefield when you kill someone is like...
00:50:19.000
If you meet your best friend's wife, and in your head's like, yeah, I'd like to fuck her from behind.
00:50:30.000
You're going to have to learn how to curb those thoughts, homeboy.
00:50:45.000
Yeah, we have to categorize it, but the early days, when it's like Mark comes in, dressed nice, shaven, I'm like, oh, I want to fuck that.
00:50:58.000
This is a movie with Tom Holland and Daisy Ridley, who was in Star Wars.
00:51:04.000
The sci-fi thing is explaining what you guys are talking about.
00:51:07.000
Men's thoughts are out loud, and women's are not in this movie.
00:51:12.000
I thought it was very interesting, but what you're saying is what is happening.
00:51:17.000
Well, Chappelle had that old bit when he was 14. He sounds like a little bitch in this movie.
00:51:22.000
Chappelle had that old bit when he was 14. She ran away through the woods.
00:51:25.000
He's like, I'd like to hold her down and fuck her.
00:51:32.000
Chappelle had a bit when he was 14 about how superheroes, he's like, you know, what if Batman went to a black neighborhood?
00:51:42.000
Wonder Woman has a lasso of truth, so if she scooped you up, you'd be like, nice tits.
00:51:48.000
That was when he was 14. But it's true, that's what we would think.
00:51:56.000
But would we be, but isn't the problem is that we can't read minds?
00:52:00.000
Shouldn't people adjust the way they think about things?
00:52:10.000
Are you willing to give up Google on your phone?
00:52:12.000
Are you willing to give up Google on your phone?
00:52:53.000
Literally every single woman is like, deal with it.
00:53:00.000
If we get mind reading, what if a hot lady walks up to you and goes, I think I don't have to work anymore.
00:53:12.000
She looks at you and goes, this guy, he's a sweet guy.
00:53:16.000
Yeah, I don't think we need technology for that.
00:53:21.000
Imagine you're a married woman on a treadmill, and then you look over and you're like, oh, there's Jerry Seinfeld.
00:53:28.000
Maybe I could suck that Bentley after looking out online.
00:53:45.000
A hot woman, a really hot woman is so fucking powerful.
00:53:55.000
When you see Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos, you're like, I get it.
00:54:07.000
It's just like, you can do whatever you want with anybody.
00:54:09.000
Yeah, Stavros was talking about her the other day.
00:54:23.000
I'm going to take these headphones off and keep talking sexual.
00:54:54.000
We think social media is bad where we're like, everybody shouldn't be talking.
00:54:57.000
The last thing I want is to bring my girlfriend...
00:55:01.000
Around my friends and listen to my friends thought of like...
00:55:29.000
And then you bring your girl around, and the guy goes, ew.
00:55:36.000
Or how about this, when you see your friend, he's with this woman, and you're like, oh, that's gonna be the end of him.
00:55:51.000
Hey, it's been good hanging out with you the last ten years.
00:55:54.000
We're not gonna hang out with you anymore, because you've got some fucking controlling lady.
00:55:59.000
I've seen some guys who had real potential and then all of a sudden they got involved in some woman and then the woman forces them to quit their job and get a regular job.
00:56:16.000
So many guys aren't in comedy anymore because of that.
00:56:21.000
But if you're a woman and you're banking on a dude to pay the bills...
00:56:26.000
How many women have saved all of us from some just fucking retard lingering around?
00:56:34.000
I'm saying like a lady going, like, so there's a guy you started with that sucks, and then a woman, he finally meets a babe, and she goes, please God, stop doing stand-up.
00:56:54.000
It's important to have a nasty woman there to ruin everything.
00:56:57.000
Yeah, wounded antelopes can't walk by the waterhole.
00:57:06.000
For every guy who could have been something that got taken away by a woman, there's seven guys who need to be taken out.
00:57:12.000
Yeah, there's way more antelopes where the crocodiles live.
00:57:18.000
They talk about how behind every great man is a very strong woman.
00:57:21.000
Behind every complete loser is a truly strong woman that crushed his spirits.
00:57:40.000
Also, it's like that's a weird dynamic when the woman has all the power.
00:57:44.000
I was fucking around on stage about Mackenzie Bezos, how she married a science teacher.
00:57:52.000
She made like $38 billion and she married a dude worth $3,200.
00:58:07.000
You can pretend for as long as you want, but you don't, like, that's a hard fucking...
00:58:12.000
That's what women should focus on, is guys who have potential but don't know it yet.
00:58:18.000
And then let them build your business, and you just say, I was with you from the beginning, I support you, Ari's pissing again, holy shit.
00:58:24.000
Right, but if you're a woman that's worth 38 billion dollars, like, what do you do?
00:58:43.000
A woman who has 38 billion doesn't need anything from you, so why don't you listen to anything you have to say?
00:58:49.000
Every NBA player, every wife they have, every hot actor, They just get an Instagram fucking influencer.
00:59:10.000
Jamie, can you play Joy to the World by Nat King Cole?
01:00:24.000
If it doesn't go all the way back, it's a serial killer.
01:00:33.000
Bro, when I was in high school, I remember there was dudes that could take their thumb and push it all the way to their forearm.
01:01:26.000
Some people could do weird shit with their wrists, too.
01:01:27.000
Can you just play Nat King Cole, Joy to the World?
01:01:29.000
Well, pre-internet, double-jointed guys were king.
01:01:44.000
They were the guy who did the flip-up of the eyelids.
01:01:50.000
The flip-up of the eyelids freaked everybody out.
01:02:14.000
Dude, my boy hit puberty like a year and a half before all of us.
01:03:06.000
And then he played, he would call my house and he would go like, Hey, is Shane there?
01:03:12.000
And I remember my parents being like, No, who is this?
01:03:27.000
All the guys who say they didn't do it, I understand why they think it's crazy, but they didn't have friends.
01:03:36.000
If you had friends and one guy had porn, you jacked off.
01:03:45.000
Well, we got the Pam and Tommy tape mail to us, and that was a big deal.
01:04:13.000
The little fucking adhesive you'd be able to write on what it was.
01:04:30.000
You jack off to that now, you've got a problem.
01:04:38.000
But when you were younger, it was like, I don't know.
01:04:42.000
Lately, me and that guy, we're both jacking off.
01:04:47.000
Oh, that guy was my acting teacher in L.A., yeah.
01:04:58.000
That's a big thing with acting schools, man, is Scientology.
01:05:05.000
A girl I dated went to a Scientology acting school.
01:05:09.000
And I had to go to this fucking thing and watch.
01:05:12.000
One of the things that was fascinating was they'd have these moments where they would just, like, they'd give them the opportunity to do whatever they wanted on stage.
01:05:21.000
They would go up and, like, pretend to read a book and, like, cough.
01:05:34.000
And he said, dude, that everyone was Scientologist.
01:05:48.000
Wow, that's a classic scene, her coming out of the pool.
01:06:16.000
And then one year, eighth grade, I got a TV in the guest room in our house.
01:06:32.000
Have you ever seen the black kid gets a fake Xbox?
01:06:37.000
So I opened all the gifts, and they were like, that was what you got this year.
01:06:56.000
They'd be like, oh, bring it down, they'd build you up like life.
01:07:21.000
I don't like to think that there was a Jamie before I met him.
01:07:37.000
My parents got us all garage sale shit, and we opened it.
01:07:51.000
Wrestling buddy, you take up to your room and you cut a hole in it and you fuck it.
01:07:55.000
It's a stuffed animal, macho man, Randy Savage.
01:07:59.000
And you know they spent a lot of money on it and they saw your fucking...
01:08:12.000
Yeah, yeah, I used to fuck the shit out of them.
01:08:31.000
That's a real problem if they ever really do invent robot fuck dolls.
01:08:36.000
I mean, just think about what they're able to do now with Face Swap.
01:08:54.000
Since our challenge, you tried to push me to the brink last week.
01:09:02.000
Joe, as a listener, you pushed me to the brink one time.
01:09:53.000
Guys, I'll be in the Palace of Fine Arts January 13th.
01:10:06.000
Denver, straight sold out shows in Comedy Works.
01:10:51.000
Because I always thought it's when your throat gets really cold.
01:10:59.000
I only get it in here, where it hurts here, where I gotta go.
01:11:09.000
I get it in here, I'm like too cold to go after a slurpee.
01:11:15.000
I think people have a hard time discerning what...
01:11:25.000
It's so much pain back here that you think it's in your brain.
01:11:29.000
Yeah, I think it's flaring from the back of your throat.
01:11:37.000
Because it's literally like your floor is rattling.
01:11:46.000
Slurpee, though, but it gets you in the throat where you're like...
01:12:08.000
You ever snort something and it hurts kind of the back of your head?
01:12:10.000
Oh, when I shit, when I move fast, sometimes I'm like, ow, what is that?
01:12:19.000
Because wait for the days that they're going to do a Hunter Biden movie and it's going to fucking rule because his life fucking rules.
01:12:38.000
Isn't that what you do when you win the lottery?
01:12:57.000
My dad sold bottle caps, and I still got hookers.
01:13:17.000
Just whatever comes to mind when you think Christmas.
01:13:57.000
It's crazy that Aerosmith had to throw them a bone.
01:14:07.000
It was December 24th when Hollis happened to dark When I seen a man chilling with his dog in the park I approached him very slowly with my heart A little reindeer!
01:14:41.000
The world needs this kind of four-level stupidity that we provide.
01:14:46.000
Dude, me and DeRosa went to see them at Forest Hills, and it was LL Cool Jays, like Rock the Bells, and they're like saying everybody's got to stay on time.
01:14:55.000
And they're like, hey, we've got to wrap it up, everyone's behind.
01:14:57.000
And whoever the leader is, I don't know whichever one, they're older here, he goes, no, we're not getting off.
01:15:23.000
The weird thing about shows is people get so controlling.
01:15:54.000
There's only one coffee cup in this whole room.
01:17:15.000
When she threw that bong out the window in Manhattan, out of an upper story, cops knocked on her door, she took a glass bong, a big one, and just chucked it out the window.
01:18:01.000
I knew Hilary Duff wouldn't do something like that.
01:18:10.000
She's back in the news today because I think she announced a podcast.
01:18:17.000
All you have to do is throw a bong out the window.
01:18:40.000
Yeah, but make sure it's like doesn't hit people in the head.
01:19:17.000
Moms in the Holocaust, dads in 9-11, eating the whole thing.
01:19:27.000
In talks with federal prosecutors about possible plea deal.
01:19:35.000
Bro, it's so wild that crazy people can get all the way to positions of power.
01:19:46.000
If you're going for low-level stuff, like city councilmen, who the fuck is paying Who's going to say whether you lie or not?
01:20:00.000
I want him to say happy birthday to me before my birthday.
01:20:12.000
Yeah, Cameo doesn't stop anyone from posting anything.
01:20:17.000
If I only had him announce all my tour dates...
01:20:32.000
If you had one person that would announce every show you ever did, who would it be?
01:20:47.000
Annie Hall, there's a scene where the other guy, his friend goes, I had two women last night, 16-year-olds.
01:21:00.000
It's like they put it out as big as they could have.
01:21:08.000
The way slavery was accepted, the way smoking on fucking late night was like, man, whatever.
01:21:16.000
Like, hey, watch out there's smoking in this movie.
01:21:59.000
I didn't think I was going to make any money, but I thought I was definitely going to be a dead, retarded guy.
01:22:28.000
Shane Gillis, I came to your fucking house and I took you to the Mercedes dealership.
01:22:38.000
I would have literally never bought a nice car.
01:22:42.000
Joe has literally, every single thing I do, I need Joe Rogan going, do it, bitch.
01:22:54.000
Actually, I need Joe to see my fucking closet in my house.
01:23:06.000
What's important was like, you were telling me, I'm thinking of getting a nice car.
01:23:38.000
I could see when you pulled onto the highway, it was like, the pickup was great.
01:23:43.000
You're traversing through these lanes in a lap of luxury.
01:23:59.000
But I will say you guys are fucking complete losers.
01:24:12.000
I knew as much or more about that car than the fucking dude who was selling it to you.
01:24:16.000
But I was like, dude, you gotta tell him how fun this is to own it.
01:24:22.000
I was telling him, I'm like, dude, this has four-wheel steering.
01:24:27.000
Dude, Joe took me in his Porsche once, and he was just like, let me open it up.
01:24:31.000
We just went on the fucking 101. It wasn't even like a test track.
01:24:36.000
And I got to the point, I was like, hey, Joe, Joe, I'm actually pretty frightened.
01:24:47.000
Towing a Porsche beat a Porsche in a drag race.
01:24:56.000
And then you have a Cybertruck towing the same car and beats it in a race.
01:25:21.000
And by the way, if it wasn't towing that Porsche, it wouldn't even be close.
01:25:25.000
That thing gets to zero to 60 in like under three seconds, and it's 7,000 pounds.
01:25:45.000
Leah Thomas could carry a woman behind her and still win the gold medal.
01:25:55.000
There's only one car that can beat that in a drag race.
01:26:03.000
There's a new Dodge Demon that has over a thousand...
01:26:06.000
You could buy it from a fucking Dodge dealership.
01:27:08.000
Mark and I are supposed to be in Memphis the same day.
01:27:11.000
What is the bottle he's peeing in so I know not to drink out of it?
01:27:29.000
Mark, you can't piss in the thing we drink water out of.
01:27:46.000
We've done a really good job of scrubbing all the piss out of it.
01:28:06.000
The detrimental effects of rude actions in society.
01:28:13.000
The old wizard Shafir, he cast the spell on the young Jew.
01:29:41.000
He's being pulled in so many directions right now This might be the best protect our parks of all time.
01:30:08.000
We were on the break, but I think we brought it back.
01:30:17.000
Get a new metal pitcher, because that thing's ruined.
01:30:32.000
My chick was like, can I drink out of that bottle?
01:30:45.000
When I was a kid, our plumbing went out for like a week, so we had to pee and stuff.
01:30:59.000
He thought it was like apple juice or something.
01:31:06.000
That's a frat thing where people are like 18, like, oh, it's beer, and they just fucking go for it.
01:31:34.000
What piss goes out like that in a quick matter?
01:31:41.000
If a woman just lies down and pisses, it squirts out.
01:31:44.000
You know how male dogs have two fucking urinal cakes?
01:31:48.000
One is for pissing and one is for marking territory.
01:31:50.000
I'm saying squirting is that second kind of urine.
01:32:06.000
Well, the thing about urine is, like, the more uric acid is in it, the more vitamins are in it, the more dehydrated you are, the more it's going to smell, asparagus, all the different things, the elements that could lead.
01:32:27.000
I just know that regular piss doesn't even smell bad.
01:32:42.000
So if you have a really well hydrated lady who pisses in your mouth like, what's the big deal?
01:34:02.000
Listen, if there's any one message we can take out of this podcast and project to the rest of the world is that You can have as much fun as we're having.
01:34:12.000
You can have to be inside of anger and fucking, look what that guy did!
01:34:16.000
Or you can be four dudes just having a good time.
01:34:28.000
What's really important about the future of the world?
01:34:33.000
Hey Mark, instead of every day in your life where you're a pussy, should you not be a pussy?
01:35:03.000
How about Elton John wearing sequins for Christmas?
01:35:09.000
We can get with some LBGTQ. I don't want to get AIDS. AI Plus.
01:35:54.000
He was so good, people were like, nah, he's not gay.
01:36:04.000
Liberace was so wild, he had his boyfriend get surgery to lose his head.
01:36:15.000
Jamie, if you don't play Paul McCartney, not AI cover.
01:36:24.000
What do you mean, what is AI? No, which video that we just saw is AI. Freddie Mercury singing was not real.
01:36:31.000
Let's see what the fuck they did with AI. Why are you making decisions here?
01:38:15.000
Tony Hinchcliffe had the best Michael Jackson joke of all time.
01:38:22.000
If Michael Jackson is gay, then so am I. You think he's gay?
01:38:33.000
He goes, Michael Jackson was so good that when Beat It comes on, you're like, I don't give a fuck about those kids.
01:38:44.000
If he had a vote, a worldwide vote, what are the odds that he was a pedophile?
01:39:02.000
I don't know how many boys' butts he fucking ruined, but I bet it was worth it when it comes to how good the music was.
01:39:20.000
The doctor who gave him propanol, the doctor who gave him anesthesia and put him under and he went up dying.
01:40:12.000
I wanna see this DMX. We're gonna let these motherfuckers know.
01:40:21.000
He's trying to visit his grandmother in the hospital.
01:41:16.000
When Anderson Silva was in his prime, and he was about to fight, he would come out to DMX. He knows sunshine when she's gone.
01:41:30.000
And the fucking lights would come on, and we'd see Anderson walking into the ring.
01:41:34.000
He'd be like, oh my god, someone's about to get executed.
01:41:40.000
When Anderson Silva comes under the octagon, it's like his mouth just pissing on top.
01:41:43.000
Dude, you gotta realize this is like when Anderson Silva was in the Matrix.
01:41:52.000
He's in the argument in my mind as one of the best ever.
01:42:28.000
And he'd walk out there, but everybody was like, oh my god, someone's gonna get nuked.
01:42:34.000
What's so crazy about fighting is, like, Israel Asanya beat him up, and then Sean Strickland...
01:42:49.000
It was a really good fight, but Israel was better.
01:42:51.000
He was younger, he was better, he was more efficient.
01:43:01.000
But if he didn't fight too long, he'd be no questions asked.
01:43:25.000
This motherfucker I didn't know we could go pee like that.
01:43:46.000
Ridley Scott still got it, 85. Ridley Scott, he's my favorite.
01:43:58.000
The part where he says, I found the crown in the gutter and I picked it up with my sword and put it on my own head.
01:44:09.000
And the part, you know when him and his dumbass brother are in there and, like, Congress is beating their ass?
01:44:15.000
And throw him outside and his brother, like, points a sword at him and he goes, if Napoleon's lying, I'll kill him.
01:44:48.000
But the book I read said, and read, I mean, listen.
01:45:17.000
And then he was always around grenadiers, who were all French grenadiers at the time, were all the big dogs.
01:45:23.000
So he was an average height, surrounded by, yeah, whatever.
01:45:34.000
Because you put the special out, and now you're back on the road.
01:45:53.000
It is interesting where you're like, hey, fuck, I don't know what to do.
01:45:57.000
Shane, Mark, Joe, everybody's like, oh, I'm actually a really good comic.
01:46:02.000
If you don't have that fucking weird thing where you're like, I don't know what I'm going to talk about next.
01:46:14.000
It's like you haven't been cold plunging with Shane and I. You don't know what it's like.
01:46:23.000
I do love, for real, when it comes to stand-up, the best feeling is, oh, fuck.
01:46:32.000
There's a weird moment where you're like, I'm about to do a new bit.
01:46:37.000
Yeah, but then you're like, the failure is doing an old bit.
01:46:40.000
Now, the worst part is, while you're up there and you're like, I'm not doing good.
01:47:08.000
If you think it's nothing, they think it's nothing.
01:47:12.000
If you think it's nothing, like what you're talking about is nonsense, it's nothing to them too.
01:47:17.000
But if you're really genuinely engaged in what you're talking about, you could talk about almost anything.
01:47:27.000
You have to be closer enough to that frequency when you connect with the whole crowd with the least amount of resistance.
01:47:57.000
You get to like 400, 500, 600, there's too many people.
01:48:07.000
But I was explaining to Ari last night, there's something uniquely intimate about arenas too.
01:48:13.000
But John Denver, if he said, if I had one show left to do in the world, it would be a Red Rocks.
01:48:23.000
That's an amazing place, but it's also 9,000 people.
01:48:28.000
But it's like, if you had one show left to do, where would you do it?
01:48:46.000
Stand-up's like, alright, here's my bullshit bit.
01:48:55.000
When you're saying that, it's bullshit for you.
01:48:59.000
Because it has to be bullshit for you to be so good at it.
01:49:04.000
If you thought it was, like, super important...
01:49:15.000
If you thought it was super important for the world to hear your bit about your niece...
01:49:47.000
Not regrets, but like, I should do more shows there.
01:49:52.000
I've been able to do that, but I've been able to go wherever the fuck I want for a long time.
01:49:57.000
I've been able to go wherever the fuck I want for a long time.
01:50:00.000
I've been able to decide, I want to do the Ice House, I want to do the store.
01:50:36.000
It's about to be a rebirth of artistic integrity instead of fame and fucking fortune.
01:50:51.000
But it also might be like every other failed civilization.
01:50:56.000
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, late night of the cellar is the best.
01:51:06.000
They're out at 1am having a good time on a Monday!
01:51:14.000
As soon as you leave this teller, there will be crack-outs outside to meet you.
01:51:33.000
But don't you ever wonder if any of this chaos, any of this degeneration of society is engineered?
01:51:45.000
The degeneration of society, the fucking open of the borders, the chaos in the streets, the fucking letting people out immediately after they commit violent crimes.
01:52:18.000
Bro, David Lee Roth's on the wildest guest I've ever had in here.
01:52:27.000
We were at the store, and this wasn't Joe Rogan now.
01:52:30.000
This is Joe Rogan like, I'm lucky to meet this guy.
01:52:35.000
He was like, I fucked a mom and a daughter once.
01:52:39.000
I don't remember that, but it was in the front patio.
01:52:51.000
When I was in high school, my sister's boyfriend Had a fucking license plate.
01:53:20.000
One of my sister's boyfriends got me an Austin 316 t-shirt.
01:53:25.000
And I was like, I hope you guys get married, dude.
01:53:38.000
One time I went to dinner with him and Bruce Buffer.
01:53:41.000
Me, him, Bruce Buffer, and a bunch of my other friends.
01:53:47.000
David Lee Roth doesn't even have a phone number.
01:53:51.000
So I have to communicate with David Lee Roth's lady.
01:53:56.000
And David Lee Roth is like, he's like, He doesn't carry a wallet.
01:54:13.000
That dude lives in Pasadena, rides his bike to the grocery store.
01:54:19.000
Bro, he lived in Japan for two years learning kendo, and he just lived with his dog by himself.
01:54:26.000
He was like the legit David Lee Roth from Van Halen.
01:54:37.000
Well, can't be better than your sanitary as well.
01:55:10.000
All those tattoos are done traditional Japanese style.
01:55:38.000
And me and him and Bruce Buffer at dinner, it was fucking amazing.
01:55:43.000
A bunch of other people, I can't remember who the fuck else was there.
01:55:46.000
But I remember, I was like, this is the most amazing thing I've ever brought together.
01:55:49.000
Bruce Buffer, David LeBron, and me and Ron just getting hammered.
01:55:57.000
Me and you were going to a movie at, like, Universal.
01:56:01.000
And we got to the parking lot, and then we just ran in randomly to Ron Jeremy.
01:56:08.000
And then we were talking to Ron Jeremy, and Mr. Belding showed up.
01:56:27.000
You might not know who Mr. Belding was, but he was on a major sitcom.
01:56:58.000
I met him, and the first time me and Ari had a legitimate conversation, we were in the parking lot of the store where the back area was, and I'm like, who is this motherfucker?
01:57:10.000
I don't remember what he said, but I just remember, oh, this guy doesn't kill a fuck.
01:57:21.000
The first time I met Ari was at JFL. You were walking out.
01:57:29.000
I was doing new faces at JFL. He was doing what got him booked on SNL. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:57:39.000
And that was the first time I ever did mushrooms.
01:57:48.000
But Shane was like, is this enough mushrooms for me?
01:58:22.000
This is a song you eat when you hit seven grams.
01:59:14.000
This might be the longest podcast we've ever done.
01:59:33.000
We started at 520. We started at 320. That's my phone.
02:00:03.000
By the way, we did Stairway to Heaven last time, or whatever that was.
02:01:01.000
Wait till they're going to start making a little bit of bread.
02:01:20.000
I'm trying to make it a wonderful place for us all to thrive.
02:01:29.000
Eight bottles of water come at you from every direction.
02:01:32.000
And then there's Terry Blacks, there's sushi, there's crowds.
02:02:00.000
If I do anything, even if I get a little drunk, I try to be extra nice.
02:02:08.000
Watching the Eagles lose to the Cowboys, sitting next to Ron White.
02:02:21.000
We were talking last night about doing a fucking commercial for his tequila.
02:02:28.000
I told him, I go, Ron White, I'll do commercials for your tequila for free.
02:02:32.000
I saw Big Frida doing an ad for a local lawyer.
02:02:39.000
Yeah, but I was like, Ron White's tequila is really solid.
02:02:51.000
Can you do just a YouTube video if you're not even getting paid for it?
02:02:57.000
You probably have to go through some hoops and ladders if you want to do an ad.
02:03:04.000
Let's do it for free, just because we love them.
02:03:07.000
And it's also, if you like tequila, it's really good.
02:03:24.000
That might be more Bud Lights sold than in any geographic block since Kid Rock shot those cans.
02:03:34.000
If you have to think about how many Bud Lights have been drank in this square, this room, I think we win.
02:03:41.000
Since Kid Rock shot those cans, I think we win.
02:03:49.000
You need to get in that goddamn cold plunge of me and Shane.
02:03:55.000
No, I was asking, do they have a show to do tonight?
02:04:01.000
I knew you were going to be a buzzkill dude trying to run the show.
02:04:11.000
Listen, if we can make Tony Hinchcliffe sweat Yeah!
02:04:21.000
The best was Ric Flair with Louis and Zach Amico in the little backdrop.
02:04:28.000
By the way, Ric Flair, that was a lot of editing.
02:04:31.000
He talked about Asian pussy for half an hour, and then he gets mad at us for making a joke about an open-miker.
02:04:37.000
If anybody knows what I stand for, it's not for wasting people's time.
02:04:45.000
Listen, in all fairness, the dude is like going from...
02:05:14.000
You know, like, you gotta realize, like, you can't expect everybody to completely catch up.
02:05:22.000
You gotta give people a little bit of flexibility.
02:05:23.000
Just be a nice person, but have different opinions.
02:05:34.000
Be nice to people, but go, hey, maybe some of these people are fucking crazy.
02:05:52.000
I'm thinking about converting to new religions all the time.
02:06:13.000
I was about to pour some water, but I realized it's all piss.
02:06:22.000
You gotta be jealous of Christmas, though, you guys.
02:06:37.000
If you want to look at all human interactions as being like some gigantic fucking thing designed to move us in a certain direction, how crazy is it that Israel exists surrounded by Islamic states?
02:06:56.000
Oh yeah, maybe we should let them all kill each other.
02:07:17.000
Let's bong a couple beers and then talk Israel-Palestine.
02:07:30.000
No, it's a meme, but it's just people being funny.
02:07:34.000
But there's 100% people that have said queers for Palestine.
02:07:43.000
Fucking queers for Palestine and Palestine throwing people off roofs.
02:07:48.000
Like, it's so funny because it just, like, it so signifies, like, this crazy state of complete chaos.
02:07:55.000
You have to realize, like, if you and I, you and I are the oldest people here.
02:08:05.000
He's 100% more, he's biologically the oldest here.
02:08:10.000
But the most important thing is, like, no one knows what the fuck is going on.
02:08:18.000
And if you don't admit that, then you're a part of the problem.
02:08:23.000
Remember how Palestine executed two Palestinians in West Bank?
02:08:29.000
Open air fucking just executed two fucking Palestinians.
02:08:35.000
One Ethiopian, one fucking, I don't know, two Palestinians.
02:08:48.000
What are you working for, Harvard, Shane Gillis?
02:08:52.000
Shane, you working for UPenn, you piece of shit.
02:09:09.000
I'm going to move to the UK and just start talking shit.
02:09:14.000
I'm going to move to the UK and just start talking shit about America.
02:09:30.000
Where they're like, hey, we've been fucking taken by other people.
02:09:42.000
You are the most Jewish-looking guy of all time.
02:10:24.000
I haven't thought about Gargamel since I was a fucking Jewish villain.
02:11:15.000
What's really important is you interrupt him every time he tries to talk.
02:11:32.000
If you fucking interrupt him three times, you'd be like, enough!
02:11:48.000
I know it sounds ridiculous, but if four people can get along like this and have a good time, why can't 400 billion?
02:11:55.000
Instead of focusing on the negatives, forget all that.
02:12:11.000
We are the current generation that is the furthest along in the journey of escaping the barbarism of history.
02:12:20.000
We have tried to figure out the best possible path to a beautiful, free, and equitable society.
02:12:29.000
And yes, there have been mistakes made along the way.
02:12:33.000
But if we can continue to all have the mentality to move into a path that's better for everyone.
02:13:25.000
But, like, the young Billy Joe, like, Piano Man?
02:13:53.000
I think Danny Brown and Billy Strings should do a duet together.
02:13:57.000
That's the only thing I want to prove in the world.
02:14:02.000
I think if they did a duet together, it would be the number one hit in America.
02:14:06.000
Because Billy Strings rules and Danny Brown rules.
02:14:09.000
And I think there's opposite fucking genres, and I think if they got together, no one would be against it.
02:14:51.000
We're gonna end with this, ladies and gentlemen.
02:14:53.000
This has been Protect Our Parks 10. We are dedicated and focused on the improvement of humanity.
02:15:01.000
The improvement in the way human beings communicate with each other and how we move forward.
02:15:19.000
And you're like, well, can't we just talk about it?
02:15:46.000
Didn't he drive through a couple of playgrounds?
02:15:53.000
Bro, he was a bad motherfucker back in the day.
02:16:18.000
Ugly man, fuck the hottest chicks in the world.
02:16:22.000
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end of Protect Our Parks 10. No, there's gotta be 11. Mark Norman.