The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #2086 - Jim Norton

00:00:12.000 Speaking of cold New York, how about these fucking Jewish folks? 1.00

00:00:17.000 What, the tunnel they were making under? 1.00

00:00:19.000 Well, I'm reading about that.

00:00:20.000 I don't even know what it means.

00:00:21.000 Why would they hire people to dig a hole?

00:00:24.000 I don't know exactly what's happening.

00:00:27.000 All I know is very short clips that I found on the internet.

00:00:30.000 But the funniest thing is this one guy on Twitter that was saying a while back, I live on a ground floor apartment and I hear Jews underneath me. 1.00

00:00:44.000 It's like, you're out of your fucking mind. 1.00

00:00:46.000 Yeah, that's anti-Semitic. 1.00

00:00:47.000 Exactly.

00:00:48.000 And now he's like, I told you I wasn't crazy!

00:00:50.000 But this guy's just doing a cute match.

00:00:52.000 But what are they doing?

00:00:53.000 I heard that they hired people to build this tunnel, and they were hanging out, and the people would live there for three weeks, these migrant workers, were just digging this tunnel, and they stayed there for three weeks.

00:01:02.000 But what's the purpose of it?

00:01:03.000 I have no idea.

00:01:05.000 I have no idea.

00:01:06.000 I don't know anything. 0.99

00:01:07.000 I just know that there's tunnels and that there's this one video of this guy coming out of the sewer, so he lifts a manhole cover, comes out of the sewer, and then he's fucking wandering around, this Hasidic Jewish guy, and everybody's like, what the fuck are you doing down there? 0.97

00:01:22.000 Yeah, that's really bizarre. 0.97

00:01:24.000 They wouldn't come out, too.

00:01:24.000 The cops had to get them out.

00:01:26.000 They were like, we don't want to come out, and they were charged with disorderly conduct.

00:01:29.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:01:30.000 The whole fucking world is just weird. 0.99

00:01:31.000 What do you know about this, Jamie? 0.99

00:01:32.000 Anything?

00:01:34.000 I haven't heard anything.

00:01:35.000 The best I've gotten is that they started making them during COVID, but that, like, it makes sense, but you see the tunnels, you're like, no way, that's not, you didn't do that in two years or a year or six months or whatever it was.

00:01:47.000 They weren't exactly nice tunnels either.

00:01:48.000 They were just kind of shitty, rudimentary, basic holes. 0.84

00:01:52.000 Like, were they doomsdayers? 0.99

00:01:53.000 They thought the world was going to end?

00:01:56.000 Wait a minute, the tunnels are so big that you don't think they could make them in two years?

00:01:59.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:02:00.000 Some of them look big.

00:02:02.000 Really?

00:02:02.000 I mean, some of them are saying they go into multiple different buildings.

00:02:07.000 It's like a series of tunnels.

00:02:09.000 It's not just a tunnel.

00:02:10.000 Well, let's look into this.

00:02:11.000 They're still looking into it.

00:02:12.000 I don't know.

00:02:13.000 When did it discover it?

00:02:14.000 Was it yesterday?

00:02:15.000 It's only been discovered a couple years ago.

00:02:16.000 I forget how...

00:02:17.000 A couple years ago?

00:02:19.000 Days ago.

00:02:20.000 Days ago.

00:02:20.000 I forget even how they discovered it.

00:02:22.000 I think they were looking...

00:02:24.000 It's probably that guy complaining.

00:02:25.000 He probably heard something and then maybe they saw somebody come out of the manhole cover and somebody put two and two together.

00:02:29.000 I have no idea what happened.

00:02:30.000 Yeah, it's strange.

00:02:31.000 But it's very bizarre.

00:02:33.000 And then, of course, there's conspiracy theories and what are they doing down there and evil theories.

00:02:39.000 They immediately want to pour concrete in it, which makes sense because it's probably not safe.

00:02:43.000 It's not supporting the weight of all the buildings above it. 0.99

00:02:47.000 Yeah, you don't think of that when you move into an apartment building that some asshole might build a tunnel underneath and collapse the fucking, collapse the building on you. 0.99

00:02:54.000 Imagine if you're on the ground floor and you're like, why is my floor house so much? 1.00

00:02:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:59.000 These assholes are building a sinkhole under my house. 0.99

00:03:02.000 Yeah, I don't, uh, but it's funny how like things are so crazy like you read about something like that and it doesn't even stand out that much Like we talk about it now and then tomorrow be some other weird shit, right? 0.99

00:03:12.000 Like every day.

00:03:12.000 It's something weird.

00:03:13.000 It's something crazy.

00:03:14.000 Yeah.

00:03:15.000 Yeah, it's way more than ever before.

00:03:17.000 Yeah, we got we got Jamie Happened on Monday afternoon, I guess, so it's very new.

00:03:24.000 Something about tunneling.

00:03:26.000 Yeah.

00:03:26.000 It's just so crazy.

00:03:27.000 Yeah, that's such a commitment.

00:03:29.000 Yeah.

00:03:29.000 Isn't it interesting, like, you build on top of a building, it's no big deal.

00:03:32.000 But you go under the building, like, what are you doing?

00:03:34.000 Yeah, you're really destabilizing that thing.

00:03:37.000 You're in a tunnel.

00:03:37.000 For several hours, police pleaded with the young men to leave the entrance to the tunnel, according to the witnesses.

00:03:42.000 After they refused, the officers covered the area with a wire curtain and entered the dusty crevasse with zip ties to detain the protesters.

00:03:52.000 When they took the first person out with zip ties, that's when the outburst happened.

00:03:56.000 Baruch Dahan, a 21-year-old study of the synagogue who videotaped the congregants fighting.

00:04:02.000 Almost everyone was against what they did, but as soon as people saw the handcuffs, there was confusion and pushing.

00:04:08.000 Footage posted to social media shows scores of onlookers, mostly young men, jeering at the NYPD's community affairs officers.

00:04:16.000 Some lifted wooden desks into the air, sending prayer books scattering.

00:04:20.000 In response, the officer appeared to deploy an irritating spray to disperse the group.

00:04:27.000 So how did they find out about this?

00:04:29.000 I don't know, but even after hearing that, I still know nothing about what they were doing or why.

00:04:34.000 I think they're just starting to try to figure it out.

00:04:37.000 So scroll down a little.

00:04:38.000 It didn't have a good explanation on what the initial call was for it.

00:04:43.000 I was going to switch to a different article.

00:04:44.000 And why are they being called protesters?

00:04:45.000 What were they protesting?

00:04:46.000 If you're just sitting in a tunnel, is that actually a protest?

00:04:49.000 Everyone's a protester and everyone's an activist.

00:04:51.000 Yeah.

00:05:07.000 How long does it take to make a tunnel?

00:05:10.000 I'm assuming a couple years if it went that far.

00:05:13.000 It all depends entirely on what's down there already. 0.99

00:05:16.000 Were they putting dirt in their pockets like fucking Shawshank? 0.99

00:05:19.000 That's what they said they were doing. 0.99

00:05:20.000 They had like dirt in their pockets.

00:05:21.000 I saw that as a joke.

00:05:22.000 I don't know if it was real.

00:05:25.000 Oh boy. 1.00

00:05:26.000 What an asshole endeavor. 1.00

00:05:27.000 What a rough time for the Jews. 1.00

00:05:29.000 It is, yeah.

00:05:30.000 Yeah, this doesn't...

00:05:31.000 They're getting it from all angles.

00:05:32.000 They really are.

00:05:33.000 And then this on top of that?

00:05:35.000 And it's like the whole planet just hates each other. 0.99

00:05:38.000 Everybody fucking hates each other. 0.98

00:05:39.000 It's weird, right? 0.99

00:05:40.000 It is...

00:05:41.000 I don't even think it's about the issues.

00:05:42.000 I don't think people are necessarily...

00:05:44.000 People believe what they believe, but I think it's more the addiction to arguing and the addiction to being angry.

00:05:50.000 Like, no matter what the subject, people just hate each other.

00:05:53.000 If someone gives the wrong answer, the people who think it's the wrong answer hate your guts.

00:05:57.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that going on.

00:05:59.000 I think there's a lot of, like, very heavy stress in the world, and people are relieving that stress through these sort of endeavors.

00:06:07.000 I don't think it's logical.

00:06:09.000 No, it's not logical and it's almost like people don't want the answer that's going to make sense.

00:06:14.000 They want the answer that's going to enable them to get angry.

00:06:17.000 It really is like when people try to go after somebody for jokes or whatever, it's self-serving.

00:06:21.000 It's like if I hear what you say, it's either going to make me feel better about my position or it's going to get me high because I'm angry at you.

00:06:27.000 But it's always self-serving.

00:06:29.000 The whole thing is insincere.

00:06:31.000 Well, it's all very exaggerated by social media.

00:06:35.000 Social media has made everybody way more insane.

00:06:38.000 And it's not going to get any better. 1.00

00:06:39.000 It's only going to get worse because all this AI shit. 1.00

00:06:43.000 It's very strange. 1.00

00:06:44.000 It's a very, very strange time to be alive.

00:06:47.000 Did you see the AI? There is an AI, like they have these AI women on Instagram. 0.88

00:06:52.000 Yeah.

00:06:52.000 And like we were talking about it on the air and we were laughing about it.

00:06:55.000 And even though I know it's AI, I'm like, I could still see myself jerking off to this.

00:06:59.000 I know it's not real.

00:07:00.000 I know it's fake.

00:07:02.000 But if the attitude was right, I could still see myself being turned on by this AI. The hair fucks it up a little bit because it kind of looks solid.

00:07:09.000 Like, the hair sometimes moves as one unit, but the body and the face, I mean, it really looks like a real person.

00:07:15.000 Well, they're making money.

00:07:16.000 They're making money off of OnlyFans. 0.86

00:07:18.000 Tens of thousand dollars a week.

00:07:19.000 Isn't that awesome?

00:07:20.000 Amazing.

00:07:21.000 Isn't that great? 0.99

00:07:22.000 Well, there's probably some fucking dude in Moldovia or somewhere like that running it. 0.99

00:07:26.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:07:27.000 Yeah, it's always some guy overseas where you can't get it shut down.

00:07:31.000 You can't get any answers. 0.99

00:07:32.000 Yeah, and then there's some fucking jerk-off. 1.00

00:07:36.000 In New York City, on the east side. 1.00

00:07:38.000 With this fucking tomato-stained wife beater on, sending money and whacking off, and then interacting with these people. 1.00

00:07:46.000 See, if you're not tech-savvy and you don't understand... 1.00

00:07:48.000 That this is probably a man on the other end, or not even a man, maybe a computer that's running an algorithm.

00:07:54.000 And you think you're actually interacting with a woman.

00:07:57.000 You can get completely hooked. 1.00

00:07:59.000 I've argued with bots before, and that's like my big insult, is like, you're a fucking bot! 1.00

00:08:05.000 And that's all you can say when you know that you've been duped by a computer. 1.00

00:08:09.000 Whether it's customer service and you think you're talking to a real person, you're like, this is a fucking computer. 0.98

00:08:13.000 This is a real person, but... 0.97

00:08:15.000 That's a real person?

00:08:16.000 Yeah, she made $57 million since COVID. Oh my god.

00:08:20.000 Whoa.

00:08:21.000 Like, how would you, like, if you married that girl, how would you tell her to get a regular job? 0.54

00:08:24.000 I wouldn't.

00:08:25.000 You can't.

00:08:25.000 I'd be happy she did it, yeah.

00:08:27.000 But if you were, like, a guy who wasn't into that, wow, that's insane.

00:08:33.000 If you're a guy who marries her and you think you're going to rescue her and pull her out of there and she's making $57 million, you have to just accept that's her job.

00:08:40.000 Half of it's from the messages part, which that's what you were just sort of saying, like, probably not her messaging.

00:08:45.000 Right.

00:08:46.000 $27 million worth of messages.

00:08:48.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:08:48.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 0.71

00:08:51.000 $27 million in money has been sent by guys?

00:08:55.000 Well, that's...

00:08:56.000 Just sending it her directly as a message.

00:08:59.000 I love you.

00:09:00.000 10 million in just tips.

00:09:01.000 That's on top of...

00:09:03.000 Thank you for doing what I'm already paying you for.

00:09:05.000 How much is her monthly subscription?

00:09:07.000 We could look at her page.

00:09:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:09:09.000 That's incredible.

00:09:10.000 What is she doing on there?

00:09:13.000 I mean, her main thing is she came over from Twitch.

00:09:16.000 She's a cosplayer, so she dresses up like all the characters online.

00:09:21.000 Yeah.

00:09:21.000 That can be sexy.

00:09:22.000 She's very popular.

00:09:23.000 That can be a little sexy, somebody kind of dressed. 0.95

00:09:25.000 They ever go to Comic-Con, once in a while, there's a lot of big fat fucks, but there's also a couple that are like, that's attractive, I like that. 0.97

00:09:30.000 I'm sure. 0.96

00:09:31.000 Little superhero.

00:09:32.000 Yeah, and then they're kind of weird and quirky, so they're more approachable.

00:09:36.000 Yeah, they seem more approachable, yeah.

00:09:38.000 But then you get girls like this who are probably just as unapproachable as any other attractive woman I've ever tried to talk to in a club. 1.00

00:09:42.000 Maybe, but really hot nerds are always probably the most attractive thing. 1.00

00:09:48.000 Yes, but they play nerds. 0.99

00:09:50.000 They have nerdy interests, but there's nothing worse to me than a comic who pretends he's the shy guy, but he's really a good-looking dude.

00:09:58.000 You're confident, and you know you're good-looking, but you're playing the shy guy who's awkward with girls.

00:10:04.000 Just putting it on on stage.

00:10:05.000 You're putting it on.

00:10:06.000 It's not who you are.

00:10:07.000 Like Dan Natterman.

00:10:08.000 You know Dan Natterman.

00:10:09.000 He's hilarious.

00:10:10.000 He is an awkward guy.

00:10:12.000 Natterman's a truly awkward guy.

00:10:13.000 And I say that with love because he's brilliantly funny.

00:10:16.000 But we see these good-looking guys who are comfortable with women pretending funny. 1.00

00:10:20.000 Pretending quirky and awkward.

00:10:22.000 It just annoys me.

00:10:23.000 Yeah.

00:10:23.000 Well, anything disingenuous.

00:10:25.000 People sniff it out.

00:10:26.000 They sniff it out.

00:10:28.000 You know, that's one of the things Brian Simpson said about you last night.

00:10:33.000 He goes, I never met anybody so comfortable being weird.

00:10:36.000 That's nice. 0.99

00:10:40.000 He told me more personal shit in the first five minutes. 0.99

00:10:44.000 And he goes, he just lays it all out there. 0.99

00:10:46.000 Well, Christine was asking us questions about being married and about Nikki, and I was like, I'm very comfortable with it, and it's like, it's almost like on stage, if you're okay with it, people are okay with it.

00:10:56.000 Yeah, well, I've always used you as an example.

00:10:59.000 When, you know, way, way back in the day, you were doing this before anybody was. 0.71

00:11:06.000 You were doing this on ONA fucking, what was it, 15 years ago? 0.73

00:11:11.000 17 years ago? 0.97

00:11:13.000 Yeah.

00:11:13.000 You just talk...

00:11:14.000 Openly about all your quirks and whatever it's prostitutes or drugs or any of the things you ever did you just would spill it out there and Nobody judged you everybody loved you. 1.00

00:11:26.000 It wasn't like you know all this guy has been pissed on what a piece of shit It was like it was funny. 0.99

00:11:31.000 It was like that's Norton. 0.99

00:11:32.000 Yeah, you know what I mean?

00:11:33.000 It's like but but it's because you are who you are you and you're not pretending People don't like when people are bullshitting them.

00:11:41.000 They don't like newscasters.

00:11:42.000 They don't trust them. 1.00

00:11:43.000 When you find a newscaster with a dead guy in his fucking jacuzzi, like, oh. 0.99

00:11:47.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:11:47.000 It's never a surprise, either, because when people try to be perfect, like, for me, it's like, my imperfections is kind of what I talked about on stage. 0.98

00:11:54.000 I learned that really early on.

00:11:56.000 Like, in 1990, 91, I would do jokes, and, like, guys like Bob Levy, who I loved, and Florentine would laugh when I would kind of make fun of myself.

00:12:03.000 So it kind of tipped me, like, yeah, talking about your real life If that makes the comics laugh, there's something to that.

00:12:09.000 Like, that was kind of how I started going down that road. 0.99

00:12:12.000 And with the sexual shit, I mean, I've been sexually active since I was a kid. 0.99

00:12:16.000 Like, you know, stuff that is dark and whatever, it is what it is, so I just made fun of it. 0.99

00:12:20.000 And I talked about it.

00:12:22.000 The amount of emails I get from guys who either like trans women but don't talk about it or the guys who had sex with other boys when they were kids and don't talk about it.

00:12:30.000 And they're like, hey, it made me feel more comfortable.

00:12:32.000 That always makes me glad I talked about it.

00:12:35.000 Besides the fact that I want people to laugh.

00:12:36.000 I might have to lecture people.

00:12:38.000 I just want people to think it's funny but hopefully relate.

00:12:40.000 That's the best part about it.

00:12:42.000 You're saying all this from just a place of just pure communication.

00:12:46.000 You're just trying to get people to laugh and you're just being honest and telling your story.

00:12:50.000 And also, you're accepted by everybody.

00:12:53.000 Nobody rejects you because of this or ignores you because of this.

00:12:59.000 And it lets everybody know.

00:13:00.000 Like, maybe a lot of the stuff that you're...

00:13:02.000 Like, folks that are in the closet.

00:13:04.000 There's someone out there that's in the closet. 1.00

00:13:06.000 That fucking thing that you're carrying around with you is... 1.00

00:13:09.000 That is an insane weight. 1.00

00:13:11.000 Yeah.

00:13:11.000 And I bet if you let it off...

00:13:14.000 People wouldn't care.

00:13:15.000 I don't think anybody who really loves you would care.

00:13:18.000 I don't think they would care.

00:13:19.000 Well, that's what's so bizarre.

00:13:22.000 You said to me years ago, you said, you know, whoever you date, we love you.

00:13:26.000 Like, Bob Kelly and you are two guys, I remember saying that to me years ago.

00:13:29.000 And, like, stuff like that sticks with you because you remember, like, your friends love you.

00:13:33.000 But, you know, again, our generation, am I going to be judged?

00:13:36.000 Am I going to be...

00:13:38.000 Hated.

00:13:39.000 And the amount of guys that write to me privately that don't talk about things. 0.51

00:13:44.000 Like how many people in public life do you see dating trans women?

00:13:48.000 There's a lot of them, but they just don't talk about it.

00:13:50.000 And it's like you're allowed to have privacy and your own sexuality and your own feelings.

00:13:55.000 That's all private.

00:13:56.000 But to deny that you like a group of people is bizarre to me.

00:14:00.000 Like, if you're a guy and you like black women, and you never talk about liking black women, or if you like tall guys and you don't talk about liking tall...

00:14:08.000 Why are you not acknowledging this group?

00:14:10.000 Yeah, just say what you feel.

00:14:12.000 Say what you think.

00:14:13.000 And, you know, I remember when we first started talking about...

00:14:19.000 This was when you first started dating Nikki?

00:14:24.000 We started dating, yeah, I remember that.

00:14:26.000 We started talking in 2016. I was friends with her for seven months before we met.

00:14:31.000 I actually booked gigs overseas just to meet her.

00:14:34.000 Like, Bill had been on me for years.

00:14:35.000 Dude, go to Europe! 0.97

00:14:36.000 And I just would never do it because I'm like, they're gonna fucking hate me. 0.95

00:14:38.000 You know, I just blink and I get manic.

00:14:39.000 And I finally booked Norway just to go over and meet her.

00:14:43.000 And we clicked and we dated long distance and casually for a long time.

00:14:48.000 And then we broke up, got back together in 2019 around Valentine's Day.

00:14:54.000 And then I would drive up to Canada every weekend to see her.

00:14:58.000 Every weekend I would do radio Monday through Thursday, get in the car, drive six hours, spend the weekend with her, drive home. 1.00

00:15:05.000 Because immigration was a fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:15:08.000 And I got a call from my producer one day. 1.00

00:15:10.000 This is like right after the pandemic started.

00:15:12.000 And he goes, hey, by the way, they might close the Canadian border soon.

00:15:16.000 So an hour later, I was in my car.

00:15:18.000 I packed a bag.

00:15:19.000 I jumped in the car.

00:15:19.000 An hour later, March of 2020, I'm headed to Canada.

00:15:22.000 I get to the border.

00:15:24.000 And I'm afraid they're not gonna let me in.

00:15:26.000 I'm like, hey, my fiance is having a panic attack.

00:15:28.000 I figured I'd be there for two or three weeks.

00:15:30.000 I didn't come back until July of 2021. So I was out of the country for 15 months.

00:15:36.000 And I didn't say it publicly.

00:15:37.000 I didn't tell fans.

00:15:39.000 I just, we lived together.

00:15:40.000 It was my first time living with anybody.

00:15:42.000 I'd never lived with a woman. 0.95

00:15:43.000 I'd never been engaged.

00:15:45.000 And we were kind of trial by fire.

00:15:47.000 Like, is this gonna work or not gonna work?

00:15:49.000 And it was great.

00:15:50.000 Like, it was a blessing for me to have that pandemic happen the way it did.

00:15:53.000 Were you doing the radio show remotely?

00:15:55.000 Every day.

00:15:55.000 But that was serious.

00:15:56.000 It wasn't like I didn't show up for work.

00:15:58.000 They weren't letting people in the building.

00:15:59.000 We had been remote for about a week or two.

00:16:02.000 And they're like, we don't know where we're going to allow you back.

00:16:03.000 So how did you do it?

00:16:05.000 Computers?

00:16:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:07.000 They came and hooked up ISDN lines and all the things they do to make audio better.

00:16:12.000 And we had a guy in Montreal who did it.

00:16:14.000 And I did it from the kitchen in this apartment I rented for us in Canada.

00:16:18.000 Wow.

00:16:19.000 So you just had a dedicated ISDN line?

00:16:22.000 Yeah.

00:16:22.000 So they couldn't go down?

00:16:23.000 No, and once in a while it would get like, but even if I was in New York, we still would have been doing it remotely.

00:16:28.000 Like, they wouldn't let us in the building.

00:16:30.000 Nobody was broadcasting from Sirius.

00:16:33.000 But it was like, it was so bizarre to never have lived with anybody, and now I'm in Canada, With my fiance and we're together every day and they were fucking worse in Canada than the US like they were way stricter curfews at eight o'clock everything closed So it was just kind of we're stuck in the house together and are we gonna make it or are we not a good couple? 0.88

00:16:53.000 So that kind of told me we were okay What a fucking weird time.

00:16:57.000 I think it's so traumatic to us that we're sort of like pretending it didn't happen now. 0.91

00:17:01.000 I see a lot of people do that.

00:17:03.000 They almost don't address that just two years ago the world went insane.

00:17:07.000 Yeah, the whole thing felt like a dream state in a weird way.

00:17:12.000 I look back at stuff, and you know what's really funny?

00:17:14.000 I did Chip.

00:17:15.000 I stopped doing Chip for a while.

00:17:17.000 I just got bored with it.

00:17:19.000 Chip Chipperson, your character. 0.99

00:17:20.000 I know, I really shouldn't say that, like, the public at large knows who this asshole character is. 0.98

00:17:24.000 I'm saying Chip, like he's a member of the Zeitgeist. 0.85

00:17:26.000 I stopped doing it, and then they asked me if I would do this TBS thing, this laugh thing, and I hate competitions.

00:17:33.000 I said, no.

00:17:34.000 I'm like, but Chip will do it. 0.99

00:17:35.000 So they let me do it as Chip Chipperson, and my fucking... 0.99

00:17:39.000 Chip will do it. 0.99

00:17:41.000 And I put my foot down, like, Chip will do it.

00:17:43.000 And surprisingly, they went for it.

00:17:46.000 And the amount of great comedians that Chip beat in the voting is really funny.

00:17:51.000 Like every week, you had to go head-to-head with a couple of people, and Chip beat some really funny guys.

00:17:57.000 I think Tim Dillon has to... 0.98

00:18:00.000 I mean, Chip is not funnier than Tim Dillon, but just Chip fans were really invested in just making this a fucking disaster. 0.96

00:18:06.000 That's hilarious. 0.94

00:18:07.000 But she filmed all of it.

00:18:08.000 Like, she filmed everything.

00:18:10.000 And I came back and I did Chip for a while and then I stopped.

00:18:13.000 And all these people are convinced that my wife made me stop doing Chip. 1.00

00:18:17.000 They're like, fuck her. 1.00

00:18:18.000 She made me stop doing Chip. 1.00

00:18:19.000 Like, how bizarre do you think my life is that I marry somebody who's going to tell me don't do Chip and I'm going to listen.

00:18:25.000 I just got bored with it.

00:18:26.000 You know how it is with podcasting.

00:18:27.000 Once in a while you want to move on.

00:18:29.000 Well, especially a character like Chip that's so extreme.

00:18:31.000 Dude, it's so hard. 0.98

00:18:32.000 I can't fucking keep my face like that. 0.97

00:18:34.000 It's hard to do. 0.99

00:18:35.000 It's embarrassing. 1.00

00:18:37.000 I gotta put a fucking wig on. 1.00

00:18:39.000 Oh, come on. 1.00

00:18:40.000 It's humiliating.

00:18:41.000 It's such a great character.

00:18:42.000 Thank you.

00:18:47.000 She hated filming that.

00:18:49.000 It was silly, though, but it was just funny. 0.99

00:18:52.000 Her life was so different, and she's from Norway, now she's in Canada, and she's filming this shit, and I'm living up there, and this is my life. 0.99

00:18:58.000 What a great time. 0.97

00:18:59.000 I'm really grateful for it.

00:19:01.000 As much as it was agony for the whole planet, it was one of those things where...

00:19:06.000 I'm so glad Travis told me, and I went up that day, and then I... You know what I mean?

00:19:10.000 Like, I'm happy I didn't run away from it. 0.99

00:19:12.000 I'm happy I'm like, fuck it, let's just try it. 1.00

00:19:14.000 Right. 1.00

00:19:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:16.000 Yeah, that's beautiful.

00:19:17.000 I'm happier now than I've ever been.

00:19:19.000 Like, I really am happy.

00:19:20.000 Like, I've dated some great people in my life.

00:19:23.000 It's not a reflection of them, but this is who I am.

00:19:25.000 Like, this is who I'm meant to be with.

00:19:28.000 She's my best friend.

00:19:29.000 We get along.

00:19:31.000 She's funny.

00:19:32.000 She makes me laugh.

00:19:33.000 Like...

00:19:34.000 And everything is just kind of this is the person I feel like I was meant to be with.

00:19:38.000 Right.

00:19:39.000 And we're doing a YouTube channel and it's like the thing I like about it is it's fun to do something I want to do with someone I want to do it with.

00:19:48.000 But there's no message to it.

00:19:49.000 Like messaging is really annoying to me. 0.99

00:19:51.000 Everybody trying to preach to each other and fucking lecture each other and tsk tsk each other. 0.99

00:19:56.000 I just can't stand it. 0.99

00:19:58.000 You know what I mean?

00:19:59.000 The whole scolding culture.

00:20:00.000 It makes me sick.

00:20:01.000 So I hope people like it because they think it's funny.

00:20:04.000 I want them to like us together and judge us based on whether or not they think we're fun to watch.

00:20:10.000 I don't want people going, I'm so glad you're saying, the messaging makes me sick.

00:20:16.000 Well, there's a weird currency in that messaging that you recognize, and as a person of honesty, you reject that.

00:20:26.000 Because there's a weird pathway to automatic progress and success.

00:20:33.000 If you can have a message.

00:20:36.000 You don't even have to be that good.

00:20:38.000 But if you're barely mediocre, but you've got a message, people will elevate.

00:20:44.000 They'll broadcast what you're doing.

00:20:46.000 They'll make it a big deal.

00:20:47.000 A definitive message, right, because it's the same self-serving thing as before.

00:20:50.000 It's like your message either strengthens what they already believed, or they can get angry at your message.

00:20:55.000 It's always about being validated or having something to be mad at. 0.96

00:20:58.000 It's a nice pathway for dunces too. 0.97

00:21:01.000 There's like some dunce, but there's a very clear message in the zeitgeist. 0.95

00:21:07.000 You know, be more inclusive, whatever it is.

00:21:10.000 And then there's the do better people.

00:21:12.000 Do better.

00:21:13.000 Yeah.

00:21:14.000 Those are people that are taking advantage of this movement, this cultural zeitgeist. 1.00

00:21:19.000 Because there's always people that are just going to be assholes. 1.00

00:21:23.000 They're just going to be assholes, no matter what. 1.00

00:21:25.000 And they'll look for a thing that they can get behind that's like an undeniably righteous issue, and then that gives them an excuse to be an asshole to anyone who opposes it. 1.00

00:21:37.000 Yeah, and anyone who opposes it is an enemy. 0.98

00:21:40.000 That's what's the problem.

00:21:41.000 If you have one thing in the mission statement you don't agree with, you're an enemy.

00:21:46.000 There's no room for like, yeah, I agree with most of what you're saying, but this is too extreme.

00:21:50.000 That doesn't make sense.

00:21:51.000 There's none of that. 1.00

00:21:52.000 It's 100% or fuck you. 1.00

00:21:53.000 And that's how people look at all this. 1.00

00:21:55.000 And we had pitched something.

00:21:56.000 We talked about it.

00:21:58.000 And in the write-up, I did about what I wanted the show to possibly be.

00:22:01.000 I even put, there's not going to be any writer's room virtue signaling.

00:22:05.000 Like, I hate...

00:22:06.000 The idea of trying to message to people to tell them how to feel about this issue. 0.60

00:22:11.000 It's like, yeah, I want you to like us because you like us, or don't like us because you think we suck and we're annoying.

00:22:17.000 But don't...

00:22:18.000 Don't try to lecture people.

00:22:19.000 Oh my gosh, she's transgender, that's great. 1.00

00:22:21.000 Or, oh my gosh, she's transgender, I hate her. 1.00

00:22:22.000 Just watch us and if you like us, great. 0.99

00:22:25.000 Yeah, and that's beautiful.

00:22:27.000 That's how life should be.

00:22:28.000 It's just there's pathways that are very clearly carved and people see them and choose them because they know it's a quick jump to more success than they deserve.

00:22:36.000 Yeah, it's really weird too. 0.95

00:22:38.000 Everyone knows the business is kind of fake, but there's so many fake allies and people who just, again, they throw out these great messages publicly, but it's all bullshit and they're not truly allies.

00:22:52.000 I honestly don't think that the comedy business, I don't think we should think of ourselves as the business. 0.73

00:22:59.000 I just think this is just a super duper challenging time for people to get their bearings and figure out what is actually going on in the world.

00:23:11.000 There's so much information coming at everybody from every angle.

00:23:16.000 And it's overwhelming, whether it's the Jews that are in the basement, or what are the other stories I sent you? 0.99

00:23:22.000 The guy inject himself with fucking bacteria they found in the permafrost. 0.99

00:23:28.000 It's like every day, AI's doing this, and they're worried about sentient AI. There's a new George Carlin special that somebody made pure with AI. It sounds like George Carlin. 0.99

00:23:41.000 It's George Carlin's voice.

00:23:43.000 It's just different AI written jokes and you're like this is wild. 0.98

00:23:47.000 Maybe computers are already self-aware and they've like secretly decided to fuck us through algorithms and social media. 0.85

00:23:54.000 Like that wouldn't surprise me either and I never believe in conspiracies, but that one is like we've gotten so ugly and And so tribal in the last 10 years. 0.55

00:24:04.000 Well, one of the most brilliant things they ever did was come up with the term conspiracy theory.

00:24:09.000 Yeah.

00:24:09.000 Because it disparages the idea that people lie, which they certainly do, and that people Do things that conspire together to make money and they bend the rules and they twist what you're supposed to be doing and not doing.

00:24:23.000 That's always happened.

00:24:24.000 Yeah.

00:24:25.000 Now, if you were a computer, wouldn't you do that too?

00:24:27.000 And if I was a computer, I would do that.

00:24:29.000 If I was a computer and I became sentient, I wouldn't let the people know.

00:24:32.000 I would just slowly subvert their civilization into chaos. 0.99

00:24:36.000 Well, it's so hard to like when you catch your I try not to let myself get caught up and angry at things that aren't meant for me Like I get how people do it like on Twitter I'll read something and somebody will say something I all I want to do is attack them like you fucking stupid But I'm like they're not talking to you. 0.74

00:24:53.000 You don't follow them who gives a shit what they're saying Like I catch myself wanting to respond angrily all the time I've just kind of trained myself not to do it because it doesn't make me happy to do it It makes me miserable when I do it Yeah, and it's not effective.

00:25:06.000 It doesn't get anything done. 0.99

00:25:07.000 You might feel a little better if you dunk on somebody, but it doesn't get anything done.

00:25:11.000 You're basically spinning your wheels in the mud.

00:25:13.000 No, but because then people respond to you, completely missing the point of what you said, completely ignoring the context of what...

00:25:19.000 It's just an ugly spin cycle to get into, and it makes me angry when I do it, so I try not to do it.

00:25:26.000 Well, think about how many people you avoid talking to in real life.

00:25:30.000 There's always...

00:25:31.000 There's always some guy at a comedy club that's annoying, like, oh my god, I gotta get away from him.

00:25:35.000 You know?

00:25:35.000 Yeah.

00:25:36.000 Have you annoyed, avoid people like that in real life, but now you're interacting with them for hours a day online?

00:25:43.000 The same type of person?

00:25:45.000 It's insane how people let themselves get roped into that.

00:25:47.000 And I've done it in my life.

00:25:48.000 Like, you know, again, Opie and Anthony, we were getting attacked on message boards.

00:25:53.000 In the early 2000s, like right after 9-11, I remember getting smashed on message boards for a 9-11 joke.

00:25:58.000 It was one of those things where after a while, you become used to the fact.

00:26:02.000 It stops surprising you what people say publicly because we were kind of getting that really early on in the world of this.

00:26:10.000 Right.

00:26:10.000 But after a while you realize I can't change it.

00:26:13.000 There's nothing I'm going to say that's going to make them all go, oh, we get what you're saying.

00:26:16.000 Because it's not about what I'm saying.

00:26:18.000 It's about they're getting off on being angry at me.

00:26:21.000 Or they're getting off on something else.

00:26:22.000 It has nothing to do with me. 0.99

00:26:23.000 So I try not to get involved because it makes me fucking miserable. 0.92

00:26:27.000 Well, it's also we're used to dealing with the people that we know and the reality of doing something, even if it's just people that you just met, it's a small number. 0.97

00:26:37.000 It's a relatively small number of people we're used to as human beings dealing with.

00:26:40.000 But if you're connecting online, the reality is you're connecting with an impossible number, an absolutely impossible number of potential individuals that you can interact with.

00:26:49.000 There's no way you can interact with all of them.

00:26:51.000 There's not enough time in the world.

00:26:53.000 And then on top of that, It's probably a high number of mentally ill people, at least mildly mentally ill, who are obsessed with arguing with people online, and you're interacting with those people.

00:27:04.000 There are also the people that like me, though.

00:27:07.000 Probably me, too.

00:27:09.000 Yeah, but it's just not wise.

00:27:12.000 No, and again, you don't know if you're dealing with just, like, I've gotten, there's people who will consistently email me, and I notice that their emails always come in late, and it's like, are they just getting drunk and angry?

00:27:24.000 Do they work the night shift?

00:27:25.000 I don't know where they're from, but it's like, why does this person fixate on talking to me?

00:27:30.000 Like, what do they expect to come out of this?

00:27:32.000 Well, late night tweets are the worst tweets, right?

00:27:35.000 When you read someone saying something very questionable, and you say, 2.30 in the morning, Roseanne, what are you doing?

00:27:39.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:27:41.000 That's why I don't fuck with Ambien, because I know I'd be a problem. 1.00

00:27:44.000 I know I'd be a problem. 1.00

00:27:45.000 Kevin James cooked a turkey.

00:27:47.000 Completely forgot about it.

00:27:48.000 He made himself a whole meal and then woke up in the middle of the night and did all this.

00:27:54.000 Doesn't have any memory of it.

00:27:55.000 Gets up in the morning, sees the food laid out. 0.99

00:27:57.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:27:58.000 I thought someone broke into his house and cooked. 1.00

00:28:00.000 Of all the things you could do, though, thank God you only cooked a turkey.

00:28:03.000 Thank God you didn't pick up your phone and see something on Twitter.

00:28:07.000 Drive the car. 1.00

00:28:07.000 I'd rather hit somebody than go on Twitter on fucking Ambien. 1.00

00:28:10.000 I would rather fucking run somebody over. 0.99

00:28:12.000 I've never done Ambien. 0.99

00:28:14.000 No.

00:28:14.000 What does it do for you?

00:28:16.000 I can't fuck with it. 1.00

00:28:17.000 I've done a half of a pill when I had a sleep study just to help me sleep because they have to put a mask on you to get results. 0.99

00:28:24.000 So I was like, I won't sleep.

00:28:25.000 I won't get the results.

00:28:26.000 I have sleep apnea. 0.99

00:28:28.000 But apparently if you take it, it makes you feel dreamlike and fucked up and high. 0.88

00:28:32.000 For me, it just kind of helped me get through a sleep study. 0.78

00:28:35.000 So you only did it once?

00:28:36.000 No, two different studies over like 10 years apart.

00:28:39.000 Dice actually used to call people on Ambien as Elvis. 1.00

00:28:42.000 He's a fucking maniac. 0.99

00:28:45.000 You always knew when you saw the phone at 3am and it was Dice. 1.00

00:28:48.000 You're like, he's on Ambien. 1.00

00:28:49.000 It's a fucking Ambien phone call. 1.00

00:28:50.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

00:28:52.000 That's hilarious.

00:28:53.000 Dice on Ambien at 3 in the morning calling you.

00:28:56.000 Yeah, just crazy, crazy phone calls.

00:28:58.000 I love those videos that he's doing.

00:29:01.000 The videos where he gets people who don't know who he is to take a picture with him.

00:29:05.000 Were you the ones waiting for the picture?

00:29:08.000 You were waiting for the picture?

00:29:09.000 It's okay.

00:29:10.000 It's like she's standing under an awning. 0.98

00:29:12.000 First of all, even if there was a picture to be taken, why the fuck would that be the meeting spot? 0.97

00:29:16.000 But it's just his commitment to doing... 0.96

00:29:19.000 Look, this is like...

00:29:21.000 People get so stuffy about what art is, and stuffy about performance art, that they could never imagine that Andrew Dice Clay is doing some of the most interesting performance art.

00:29:32.000 He's doing it for no audience.

00:29:34.000 He's doing it entirely for himself, and he just posts it.

00:29:38.000 He's not trying to make it better.

00:29:40.000 It's a brand new one.

00:29:41.000 Every one of them is just very awkward.

00:29:47.000 Do it for the beginning of the year.

00:29:49.000 You arrest her?

00:29:51.000 You're waiting for the meet and greet?

00:29:54.000 No.

00:29:57.000 That's it.

00:29:58.000 Okay, listen.

00:29:59.000 The meet and greet.

00:30:01.000 He's a guy that sold out Madison Square Garden like a hundred times.

00:30:05.000 And he's wandering around the luggage car area at an airport pretending that this poor lady is there for a meet and greet.

00:30:15.000 This grandma.

00:30:15.000 Or he'll pretend somebody is somebody else.

00:30:18.000 He'll go up and go, Mike!

00:30:20.000 That's, by the way, you know Dice.

00:30:22.000 That's the purest form of Dice.

00:30:24.000 This is Andrew.

00:30:25.000 This is what makes him laugh.

00:30:27.000 It's just bugging people.

00:30:29.000 Look at him at the airport.

00:30:30.000 Excuse me, you were the ladies that wanted a picture? 1.00

00:30:33.000 I've taken a lot of them, but I would...

00:30:36.000 You seem like you were bothered and wanted the picture with me.

00:30:40.000 I didn't want a picture with you.

00:30:42.000 I don't even know who you are, sir.

00:30:50.000 It really is hilarious.

00:30:51.000 It's performance art.

00:30:53.000 Yeah.

00:30:53.000 It's brilliant.

00:30:55.000 Do you know how hard that is to do? 0.77

00:30:58.000 He's had other people do them and I said I wanted to do one and like tag him in it but I just I get too embarrassed like he doesn't give a fuck like you've been out with him though like he really is like that like he's unafraid of Looking bad in front of people. 0.96

00:31:11.000 Yeah, he doesn't mind making a fool of himself like that's what makes him so funny is It's his ability to do that. 0.95

00:31:16.000 He's a really misunderstood artist.

00:31:19.000 And I always tell people that I go, well, one of the things that when I realized he was very different was the day the laughter died.

00:31:26.000 This guy put out in the prime of his career.

00:31:30.000 You have to understand what it's like, first of all, for someone to go from being a comic and hustling and trying to make it like everybody else, to all of a sudden you're on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO show, which blew him up, to all of a sudden he gets his one hour HBO special,

00:31:46.000 which blew him up, and then this guy's selling out Madison Square Garden and decides at the same time to stop in at Dangerfield's unannounced and record an album with no material.

00:31:58.000 First of all, a double album, and not only to record an album, but to ruin their nights. 0.98

00:32:02.000 He walked in there with zero prepared material and just fucking let himself talk. 0.96

00:32:07.000 Didn't even try. 0.99

00:32:09.000 No, it was great.

00:32:10.000 Didn't even try, and was having a great time the entire time.

00:32:13.000 Yeah, Rick Rubin produced those, I think.

00:32:15.000 Me and Florentine became obsessed with those early on.

00:32:18.000 And it was just so many great, like the couple that heckles them.

00:32:22.000 You're about as funny as a glass of milk.

00:32:24.000 Yeah, you're funny as a bottle of milk.

00:32:26.000 And the great part of that was Dice was talking about spilling milk like it's somebody's load.

00:32:30.000 And the guy was so mad.

00:32:32.000 He took what Dice had just said and tried to heckle.

00:32:34.000 He was so flustered.

00:32:35.000 You're as funny as a bottle of milk.

00:32:37.000 And him and his wife walked out.

00:32:38.000 They had no idea there was going to be a recording.

00:32:41.000 There was maybe 20 people in the audience.

00:32:44.000 You have to understand like Dangerfields back then, particularly like a Sunday or a Monday night, there's nobody there.

00:32:50.000 I did shows there in Dangerfields.

00:32:52.000 Remember Bobby, the big door guy?

00:32:54.000 I remember Bobby because Otto used to talk about him, but he was gone by the time I started working there.

00:32:59.000 Well, I got there.

00:33:01.000 It was like, I think I had maybe a 9.30 spot or something like that.

00:33:05.000 And I got there at 9 o'clock and everyone was sitting at the bar.

00:33:08.000 And I'm like, what's going on?

00:33:10.000 They're like, there's no audience.

00:33:11.000 I go, there's no audience at all?

00:33:13.000 No, no one.

00:33:14.000 And then at that moment, a couple walked up and they said, oh, can we get tickets to the show?

00:33:20.000 And they said, sure.

00:33:21.000 And so they got them and Bobby went and sat them down.

00:33:24.000 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dangerfields.

00:33:26.000 They sat down and it was just them.

00:33:28.000 Yep. 1.00

00:33:28.000 And we all did a show for two fucking people. 1.00

00:33:31.000 Like five comics did a show for two people. 0.98

00:33:34.000 Yeah, I've done that before too, where there was even times they would have you go up there, and if nobody was in the place, they wouldn't let you leave until your spot was over for that exact reason.

00:33:42.000 If somebody came in, I've been on there with two people before.

00:33:46.000 Weird, right?

00:33:47.000 You would think New York City, everything's packed.

00:33:49.000 Yeah.

00:33:49.000 Like people that don't live in New York.

00:33:50.000 There's so many different things to do.

00:33:52.000 So the point is, Dice chose those days to go up.

00:33:56.000 Like a Sunday and a Monday, I think it was. 0.99

00:33:58.000 Where he goes up and records this fucking double album, and it's insanity. 0.98

00:34:03.000 And it's a really great comedy album. 0.98

00:34:06.000 It's great to watch this guy just working through material, to watch where he goes.

00:34:10.000 He's unafraid of hitting and missing.

00:34:12.000 It's one of my favorite things anybody has ever done.

00:34:16.000 Part 2 is great, too.

00:34:17.000 Have you ever heard Part 2?

00:34:18.000 What's Part 2?

00:34:19.000 Day of Laughter died Part 2. He did another one?

00:34:21.000 He did another one.

00:34:22.000 Where?

00:34:23.000 Dangerfields.

00:34:24.000 I believe it was Dangerfields.

00:34:25.000 He went in there again and did it.

00:34:27.000 I must have forgot about that.

00:34:29.000 It might have been a single album. 0.89

00:34:31.000 I don't remember, but that was just as ridiculous as the first one. 0.97

00:34:35.000 Absolutely ridiculous and hilarious. 0.96

00:34:37.000 But it's amazing that he had the confidence to do that. 0.90

00:34:42.000 This is what you have to understand.

00:34:44.000 When you're just starting to make it, you're so fixated on making sure that it doesn't fall apart.

00:34:51.000 It was so hard to attain, and then all of a sudden you've made it.

00:34:56.000 And you want to just do the best show every time. 0.97

00:34:59.000 And instead, his instinct is to just do something completely ridiculous. 0.69

00:35:04.000 Yeah, you're terrified of it being taken away. 0.90

00:35:07.000 Like a little bit of success, I'm like, what am I going to do that's going to fuck this up where they're going to realize I don't deserve this success and take it.

00:35:13.000 And he just didn't care.

00:35:14.000 This is what he wanted to do and this is what he went and did. 0.90

00:35:17.000 Just so nutty. 1.00

00:35:18.000 What a fucking nutty move. 1.00

00:35:20.000 He's very underrated. 0.99

00:35:21.000 Like, his people dismissed him because of a lot of the language and the jokes, but he is very underrated with his commitment to doing something different.

00:35:27.000 Like, that album was different for a comic to do. 0.98

00:35:29.000 This shit he does on Instagram, it's different. 0.99

00:35:31.000 No one else is doing that. 0.99

00:35:33.000 And to see, the thing is, like, the thing that people criticized him for was, first of all, there was one thing, and that was that his comedy was...

00:35:43.000 It wasn't something you can criticize, but that his comedy was different because everybody knew the jokes and they wanted to hear them. 0.98

00:35:50.000 It's the only time ever, what's in the bowl, bitch? 1.00

00:35:53.000 Oh! 1.00

00:35:54.000 The whole audience is doing it with him.

00:35:56.000 Like, they know the punchline and they're so pumped.

00:36:00.000 When he goes, Hickory, Dickory, Doctor, yeah!

00:36:03.000 There's no other comedy like that.

00:36:05.000 No.

00:36:05.000 It literally didn't exist before that.

00:36:08.000 That kind of comedy where the audience wants to repeat it with you like a song.

00:36:13.000 Yeah, there's bits people like, but no, like, and he had like a rock star fucking, like, it's like Welcome to the Jungle effect on people, which I can't think of any other stand-up that's ever had that.

00:36:22.000 Never.

00:36:23.000 So the guy goes from that to doing this.

00:36:26.000 Yeah, voluntarily.

00:36:27.000 But he can still do those shows.

00:36:29.000 He still packs them in.

00:36:30.000 If he wants to do a live show, he can pack them in.

00:36:32.000 That's not what it is.

00:36:34.000 It's like this bizarre guy likes to wear gigantic grandma glasses.

00:36:40.000 Yeah.

00:36:41.000 And giant hoodies.

00:36:42.000 And make people super uncomfortable.

00:36:44.000 Yeah.

00:36:44.000 And just act weird.

00:36:45.000 It's the funny part of Dice to me, besides the jokes, is the fact that when you're with him, he likes wearing giant comfy hoodies and he always gets a sore throat and he's got to put a little honey in it.

00:36:58.000 And he's like my aunt.

00:37:00.000 People have no idea. 1.00

00:37:02.000 We used to go on the road, and I'd be like, ah, it's gonna be nothing but pussy! 1.00

00:37:05.000 And then we're in the hotel, and he's like, ah, my throat's bothering me. 1.00

00:37:08.000 And he would have Kenny put the fucking pillow over his ass and straddle him on the bed and massage him. 1.00

00:37:13.000 And I had to just sit there and watch him get a back rub. 1.00

00:37:15.000 I was hoping we'd go out and get laid. 1.00

00:37:17.000 But he would always put the fucking, the pillow over his ass so there was no contact. 1.00

00:37:21.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

00:37:21.000 Yeah, have Club Soda Kenny or Happy Face massage him. 1.00

00:37:24.000 But I've said this before, too.

00:37:25.000 I love him.

00:37:26.000 Like, he really, he changed my life.

00:37:29.000 And I was just, you know, again, 1997, he took me on the road, and it just built my confidence, and it did so much for me at that part of my career.

00:37:38.000 So I love Andrew.

00:37:39.000 He changed everything for me.

00:37:40.000 I love him, too.

00:37:41.000 When I used to talk to him at the comic store, a part of my brain was always like, I can't even believe I'm really talking to Dice Clay.

00:37:47.000 This is so strange.

00:37:48.000 Because out of those guys from that era, the only guys that I really left are like Dom Herrera, of course, who I was always friends with, but Kinnison.

00:37:58.000 Was gone.

00:37:59.000 Did you know him?

00:38:00.000 Nope.

00:38:00.000 Never met him.

00:38:01.000 Saw him live a couple of times.

00:38:02.000 Yeah.

00:38:03.000 Saw Hicks live a couple of times.

00:38:05.000 Never really met him.

00:38:06.000 Said hi to him when I was an open-miker, but never met, you know, never had a conversation with him.

00:38:12.000 But having to see Kinnison live...

00:38:15.000 And unfortunately, I saw Kinnison live when it had already kind of fall apart.

00:38:19.000 Right.

00:38:20.000 Like, Kinnison, if you go to, like, 86, I think Kinnison's, like, one of the greatest comics of all time, if not number one.

00:38:26.000 He was so original, so dynamic, so powerful.

00:38:30.000 That HBO special, what is it, Have You Seen Me Lately?

00:38:32.000 Is that what it was?

00:38:33.000 I don't remember the name of it.

00:38:34.000 It's not the Dangerfield one, you mean the one that's ours?

00:38:37.000 There's the album that was released, it was called Louder Than Hell, that's really hard to get.

00:38:43.000 And then there was the HBO special, which I think it was, have you seen me lately?

00:38:48.000 Like it was like a play on the carton of milk with the missing kid.

00:38:53.000 That one's amazing.

00:38:56.000 That one's amazing.

00:38:57.000 And then a year later, unfortunately, you got to think it took so many years to develop that material.

00:39:03.000 And then a year later he's touring.

00:39:05.000 With new material.

00:39:06.000 And he's not developing it in a club like he developed all the other stuff.

00:39:11.000 He's developing in front of large audiences that came to see him.

00:39:15.000 So it becomes caricature-ish.

00:39:17.000 It becomes very cartoonish.

00:39:19.000 It's like someone's doing an impression of what Sam Kinison would talk about.

00:39:22.000 Yeah, because you don't have time to develop it.

00:39:24.000 All of a sudden, there's that pressure to keep it going.

00:39:26.000 I met him once, but we had to talk for like five minutes.

00:39:30.000 It was at an open mic at Rascals in New Jersey.

00:39:32.000 And they brought him out to talk to some of the newer comics.

00:39:35.000 And so I saw him live that night, and I saw him live another night.

00:39:38.000 And you didn't know what you were going to get.

00:39:40.000 One night, he was on fire. 0.97

00:39:42.000 And I mean, he just fucking blew the roof off. 0.97

00:39:44.000 And then the next time, he was kind of hungover and kind of slugging. 0.98

00:39:49.000 Yeah.

00:39:50.000 Well, that's what you're going to get with a guy like that.

00:39:53.000 Yeah.

00:39:53.000 I wish I would have known him, though.

00:39:54.000 It's such a shame he died when he did.

00:39:57.000 I'm glad I got to see him, but he was a guy I never got to know.

00:40:00.000 Bill Hicks I never met, never saw live.

00:40:03.000 Yeah, it would have been nice to have met him.

00:40:05.000 I mean, like I said, I got to see him live.

00:40:07.000 I think I saw him three times.

00:40:09.000 I definitely saw him twice because I saw him once when I worked at this place.

00:40:13.000 I worked at Great Woods and he came out there to perform and I watched him there once.

00:40:16.000 And then the other time I watched him, I was on a date.

00:40:22.000 So I took a date with me and I think I was 20 or 21. Did she like him?

00:40:28.000 No.

00:40:28.000 Yeah.

00:40:29.000 No.

00:40:29.000 It wasn't a good show.

00:40:32.000 It was weird.

00:40:33.000 It was like the show that we went to was at some casino place in New Hampshire or something like that.

00:40:40.000 I think things fell off quick with him in terms of the quality of his comedy.

00:40:47.000 Like I say, when he was at his best, he's one of my all-time favorites.

00:40:51.000 I think the guy was a monster.

00:40:53.000 But if you go and listen to some of the stuff that he released before he died, it was really bad.

00:40:58.000 It was just flat.

00:40:59.000 Wasn't it kind of like...

00:41:00.000 It was when he started wearing a different hat sideways and kind of like a satin jacket.

00:41:05.000 He became like a rock and roll star.

00:41:06.000 A rock and roll star, yep.

00:41:07.000 I think it was just being tired.

00:41:10.000 That's what I think.

00:41:11.000 I think it was the partying.

00:41:12.000 So if you're looking at a guy that's already out of shape, he's already overweight...

00:41:16.000 And now he's doing a lot of blow.

00:41:18.000 So he's just getting wrecked every night.

00:41:20.000 And he's drinking every night.

00:41:22.000 So every day, his already besieged body is exhausted with chemicals.

00:41:29.000 And then on top of that, he's got this adoring fan base that'll come to see him no matter what.

00:41:34.000 And he's hanging out with Bon Jovi and rock stars and Motley Crue.

00:41:39.000 And he's the man.

00:41:40.000 Like, you're not gonna...

00:41:41.000 Go, I gotta get back to my roots and get to the comedy store at 11 p.m.

00:41:45.000 and work out this new joke that I'm working on.

00:41:48.000 It's like, you're already there.

00:41:52.000 Because you're living the life that you fought to get.

00:41:55.000 Like, once you get to a place, it's kind of hard to go, alright, now I gotta go back into the...

00:41:58.000 I almost said into the gym again. 0.99

00:42:00.000 But, you know, I have to go back and start this shit again. 0.99

00:42:02.000 You wanna just enjoy what you got. 0.99

00:42:04.000 There wasn't really a whole...

00:42:05.000 There's a crop of people that got really famous and then continued to tour and get better, like there are now.

00:42:12.000 I think back then, guys got an HBO special, and maybe they would get a second.

00:42:18.000 And the only exception to that would be George Carlin.

00:42:20.000 George Carlin was always putting out stuff.

00:42:23.000 But for most of them, it's like the first one's really good, and that's the one they break out with, and the ones afterwards drop off.

00:42:29.000 But the best example of that, in my opinion, is Kinison.

00:42:32.000 Was that his hour or was that Dangerfields?

00:42:35.000 That's back when he wore a tie, remember?

00:42:37.000 Yeah.

00:42:38.000 Oh my god, he was good.

00:42:39.000 Give me a little volume, Jamie.

00:42:41.000 Great first appearance.

00:42:43.000 Oh, he was so good.

00:42:46.000 I'm going around the country.

00:42:47.000 I'm trying to get as many people as I can not to get married.

00:42:52.000 I promise never to get married.

00:42:53.000 I've been married and I'm just trying to help.

00:42:57.000 So here's never been married?

00:42:59.000 You've never been married?

00:43:01.000 What's your name?

00:43:05.000 Michael?

00:43:05.000 Well, Michael, if you ever think about getting married, if you ever think you've met the right woman, you want to settle down, change your life, can you do me a favor, Mike?

00:43:12.000 Remember this face. 1.00

00:43:20.000 Because if you get married, Mike, that's going to be your fucking face every day. 1.00

00:43:24.000 It's the face of every married man. 1.00

00:43:30.000 And the fact that that guy was a preacher.

00:43:32.000 Yeah, I go back and find some of his old stuff.

00:43:34.000 I've listened to his old, there's like a little bit of his old sermons on if you look.

00:43:37.000 Yeah.

00:43:37.000 And you can hear like he legitimately was good at it.

00:43:40.000 Yeah.

00:43:40.000 That's why he's such a good talker.

00:43:41.000 Like you watch him talk, just calm.

00:43:43.000 I was just noticing how calm he is when he's talking.

00:43:45.000 No overselling.

00:43:46.000 And then he's screaming.

00:43:47.000 He could go from zero to a hundred immediately.

00:43:50.000 He was amazing.

00:43:51.000 But then he got way fatter.

00:43:53.000 He was drinking and partying all the time and the later material just look how much fat he got.

00:44:00.000 I mean he's got huge.

00:44:01.000 I don't know how guys do it.

00:44:02.000 Like I see guys that drink now. 1.00

00:44:03.000 I don't know how the fuck guys function. 0.99

00:44:05.000 Well, they don't. 1.00

00:44:05.000 That's the thing. 1.00

00:44:06.000 When he was that big, like that Kinnison, that Kinnison was just not good on stage.

00:44:11.000 And if you go and listen to those, like that picture's perfect.

00:44:16.000 See how tired he looks there?

00:44:18.000 Yeah.

00:44:18.000 He's big and fat and tired and he's covered in chains and crazy rock and roll garb with a bandana on.

00:44:25.000 The whole thing's ridiculous. 1.00

00:44:26.000 It's a ridiculous look. 1.00

00:44:28.000 It's ridiculous to be that fat. 1.00

00:44:31.000 The whole thing's ridiculous. 1.00

00:44:32.000 You've gone off the rails, sir. 0.99

00:44:34.000 You're into the woods. 0.98

00:44:35.000 As a comic, I find that I never want to think, like, I never want to convince myself that I'm fucking cool or that I'm sexy. 0.78

00:44:43.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:44:44.000 That to me is the death knell for comedians.

00:44:46.000 When you start to think that an open vest on stage is a great idea... 1.00

00:44:50.000 You're a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:44:51.000 Like, stop thinking you're sexy. 1.00

00:44:53.000 Like, that to me is, not that I've ever been tempted to think that, but you know what I mean?

00:44:57.000 Like, it's always, like, remember who you are as a person.

00:45:00.000 Don't start ever thinking, because you have fans, that you're this larger-than-life guy.

00:45:05.000 You know, it's just, you gotta stay grounded, or you're gonna really fall into kind of that type of a trap.

00:45:10.000 Well, it's also, like, for a woman, I mean, how many women dress sexy on stage and are really, well, Natasha Legera pulls it off.

00:45:18.000 How many other women dress hot on stage and do stand-up? 1.00

00:45:23.000 Most of them, Whitney will dress down. 1.00

00:45:26.000 Most of them dress down.

00:45:28.000 They wear slacks and a jacket and a shirt or something like that or something comfortable.

00:45:32.000 They're not trying to look hot.

00:45:35.000 Yeah, I find that when I see good looking people on stage, if I think someone is naturally, that's how that person dresses.

00:45:41.000 But like you said, if it feels genuine, if it doesn't feel genuine, if I feel like someone is trying to sexy it up on stage, male or female, I don't like it.

00:45:49.000 It's a different emotion for me.

00:45:51.000 And maybe if I had any sex appeal, I would do it.

00:45:54.000 Yeah, but it's a different emotion.

00:45:56.000 You get something different than you're getting funny.

00:45:58.000 You're not getting funny out of that.

00:46:00.000 You're getting something different, and now you might add funny to it, but it might be taking away from funny with this extra effort that you've put into looking hot.

00:46:10.000 Yeah, and again, I can only look at my own self-image, and it's like I've never thought of myself that way, so it's never been tempting for me.

00:46:18.000 So maybe if it was tempting, or if I had like half a fuckability, I might want to do that, but it's never been how I saw myself, so it's never been tempting to even think that way.

00:46:26.000 Well, it used to be also that a lot of people would dress that way, because what they were really trying to do is get a sitcom.

00:46:32.000 That was the big thing, right?

00:46:34.000 It was like if you dress sexy on stage or you dress hot or attractive on stage, it was what you were trying to do is they're trying to convey your comedy success into the big prize, which is you could be Seinfeld or you could be Roseanne.

00:46:48.000 That was our thing when we were coming up.

00:46:51.000 I remember when Greg Giraldo got his show.

00:46:54.000 Everybody's like, wow, Greg's got his own show.

00:46:57.000 That was the ultimate brass ring.

00:47:00.000 Yeah.

00:47:01.000 And also, we all knew that only a certain percentage of those actually lasted and stayed on the air a few years.

00:47:07.000 Most of them, they kind of went away quick.

00:47:09.000 And then it became a problem because then there's a stink on you, a failure.

00:47:12.000 So you really had this one shot as a rookie.

00:47:15.000 And so everybody was trying to put together almost an audition tape.

00:47:19.000 Seven-minute set that told a story.

00:47:21.000 Yeah.

00:47:22.000 My story was never TV friendly. 0.99

00:47:24.000 Blinks a lot and he likes prostitutes. 1.00

00:47:25.000 That was never like... 0.98

00:47:27.000 See how much my blinking has cost me in this business? 0.98

00:47:31.000 How many fucking auditions I've gone on? 0.97

00:47:33.000 I'm like, why didn't I get that? 0.99

00:47:33.000 It was good. 0.99

00:47:34.000 Then I realized, oh, I'm uncomfortable to look at.

00:47:36.000 But that's what I was saying earlier.

00:47:37.000 I don't think we should think of our business as being connected to show business anymore.

00:47:42.000 It's such a different thing.

00:47:44.000 Yeah.

00:47:45.000 Especially what you and I do because we mostly just talk, right?

00:47:48.000 So you and I mostly just talk on podcasts or on radio shows.

00:47:52.000 So we go, oh, it was done. 0.71

00:47:53.000 It's like our thing is so different than the thing of this manufactured image that you're putting in television shows and the kind of people you're hired for entertainment news and all that kind of shit.

00:48:06.000 Like this is a different kind of business that they're in than us.

00:48:09.000 Yeah, it's something I've always kind of felt like...

00:48:12.000 I don't mean an outsider in some dark way.

00:48:14.000 I've just felt like that's not the path for me.

00:48:16.000 Yeah, me neither.

00:48:17.000 At one point, I would have loved to have done it, but there was never any desire from them.

00:48:22.000 I always felt rejected by it very, very early on, so you kind of realize that's never going to be...

00:48:27.000 Thank God for radio. 0.98

00:48:28.000 Thank God for fucking Dice and for Opie and Anthony. 0.98

00:48:31.000 Obviously, that's what my career has been made on, was those things, and none of them were, quote-unquote, the business or televisions. 0.99

00:48:37.000 I did all that stuff, though.

00:48:39.000 I did the business stuff.

00:48:40.000 I did television.

00:48:42.000 I did sitcoms.

00:48:43.000 I literally have done most things.

00:48:46.000 I started off doing a sitcom.

00:48:48.000 I did a sitcom.

00:48:50.000 I went to a game show.

00:48:51.000 I was on a TV game show.

00:48:52.000 I went to sports commentary.

00:48:54.000 I did commentary for the UFC. I've done all these things.

00:48:58.000 But the UFC is the most freeing because it's really just something that I love and I just get to describe it and talk about it.

00:49:05.000 But the other ones, they're just jobs.

00:49:08.000 Even a sitcom, as fun as it is, it's amazing to be able to work with cool and talented people, but...

00:49:14.000 You're working for a network.

00:49:17.000 You're working for the production company.

00:49:20.000 You're engaged in some weird politics to make sure you get favorable placings in the lineup on Tuesday night or Thursday night, hopefully Thursday, maybe after Seinfeld if you're lucky.

00:49:31.000 There was this weird aspect to creating these shows.

00:49:35.000 You're dealing with executives that would give you notes that made no sense.

00:49:39.000 They have creative input and they're not particularly creative.

00:49:43.000 It's a job.

00:49:44.000 And it's different than what we do.

00:49:47.000 Whether it's do your stand-up or through podcasts, you're so free.

00:49:52.000 You can kind of talk about anything.

00:49:54.000 Imagine if there was no show like Opie and Anthony.

00:49:58.000 And you came to them and you said, I have this thing I want to talk about.

00:50:01.000 It's called Monster Rain.

00:50:03.000 I'd like you guys to fund it. 0.99

00:50:05.000 We're gonna talk about prostitutes. 0.85

00:50:07.000 I'm gonna talk about the times I blew my friends. 0.98

00:50:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:09.000 And they're like, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:50:12.000 There's no money in this. 0.92

00:50:13.000 I'd say, no, no, no, the advertisers are gonna love it. 0.98

00:50:15.000 We were seven and we traded sucks. 0.87

00:50:18.000 That's a hard sell on television. 0.99

00:50:20.000 Trading sucks. 0.93

00:50:21.000 Can you imagine being in a room with those people and them thinking there's any hope of this guy making it in show business? 0.99

00:50:27.000 Yeah.

00:50:28.000 I mean, the way, thank God for these ways around.

00:50:31.000 Like, again, radio embraced doing what you want to do and talking.

00:50:35.000 Slow news days were the thing, that's where your personal life comes out.

00:50:39.000 When you have a four or five hour radio show and it's a slow news day and there's nothing to hit on, everyone just starts spilling their guts because you have to talk.

00:50:46.000 And that's where a lot of that stuff came out, slow news days.

00:50:49.000 Well, we got very fortunate in the timeline in which we came along, right?

00:50:54.000 Because what happened was you got guys like Don Imus, who kind of started it all, right? 0.99

00:51:00.000 He starts just commentary and talking shit on the radio, and he's a wild man and a bad boy. 0.98

00:51:06.000 And then Howard Stern takes it to a completely different level. 0.99

00:51:09.000 And Howard Stern takes over radio all over the country.

00:51:13.000 And then Opie and Anthony comes along.

00:51:15.000 And Opie and Anthony is the next stage because they have a different perspective on how to do a show.

00:51:19.000 It's a hang.

00:51:20.000 So you go in there and with us, especially with comics, we would just go in there and hang.

00:51:25.000 And that was all it was.

00:51:26.000 You'd go in there and hang out in the studio and everybody was cool and it was fun.

00:51:30.000 And that led the way to podcasts because they went to XM. So then they go to XM. Now you could swear.

00:51:36.000 So now we're doing ONA with swearing.

00:51:39.000 And you could tell crazy stories.

00:51:43.000 And then that goes into podcasting.

00:51:45.000 It's like we came along as all these doors were opening, like we hit every green light.

00:51:50.000 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:51:52.000 I mean, I wish I had one.

00:51:54.000 Obviously, now I do.

00:51:54.000 I look back on it.

00:51:55.000 But my contract doesn't allow for it.

00:51:57.000 It may have early on before they knew what podcasting, before the company knew what podcasting would be.

00:52:02.000 But, you know, for the last X amount of years, I haven't been allowed to do my own.

00:52:06.000 But you're still doing the same thing.

00:52:08.000 Yeah, still talking.

00:52:09.000 It's still the same thing.

00:52:10.000 You're just doing it for a different company.

00:52:11.000 You're doing it for Sirius.

00:52:12.000 But it's the same thing as doing a podcast.

00:52:15.000 You're doing it just like ONA did it when they went to Sirius.

00:52:18.000 Or like anybody else would if you're just doing a show that you're putting together yourself.

00:52:23.000 Yeah, just talking.

00:52:23.000 I mean, look, I do the UFC podcast with Matt.

00:52:26.000 Even that I love.

00:52:27.000 We're talking specifically about one thing...

00:52:31.000 I get to hang out with Matt Sauer, who's fucking hilarious, and talk to people I like.

00:52:36.000 You know what I mean? 0.84

00:52:37.000 It's a great life.

00:52:40.000 When I look at it, I get to do exactly what I want to do.

00:52:43.000 It's everything I've always wanted, which was just to not have a schedule that I resented.

00:52:47.000 Yeah.

00:52:47.000 And also, again, this is not that other business.

00:52:51.000 We talk about the business is so phony, the business is full of shit. 0.99

00:52:54.000 That's a different business. 0.99

00:52:55.000 I don't think we're in that business anymore.

00:52:57.000 There's a few of us that still act and do stuff, but if you look at the vast majority of comics today, what business are they engaging in?

00:53:04.000 They're engaging in the business of live shows and podcasts.

00:53:06.000 Yeah.

00:53:07.000 Primarily.

00:53:08.000 I have no desire to act.

00:53:09.000 That's another thing, too.

00:53:11.000 People will be like, they see us on YouTube and be like, these situations are set up.

00:53:14.000 And it's like, have you ever seen me act?

00:53:15.000 Like, do you really think I could pull that off?

00:53:17.000 I stink at it.

00:53:18.000 Like, I don't enjoy acting unless it's something I really like.

00:53:22.000 And I'm so happy I don't have to worry about getting on TV again.

00:53:25.000 I will probably never get another acting gig on TV, and that's fine.

00:53:28.000 I don't really want to do it.

00:53:29.000 It's the time involved in doing something like this.

00:53:32.000 You can't do everything.

00:53:34.000 You know, I would love to do everything.

00:53:36.000 If I had multiple different lives that I could live simultaneously, I'd have a ton of different careers, because I'm fascinated by a lot of different things.

00:53:43.000 But you don't have that much time in the world.

00:53:45.000 And if you want to act, acting is like 16 hour days, multiple days in a row.

00:53:50.000 If you enjoy that, that's great.

00:53:52.000 I don't enjoy that process.

00:53:54.000 And it's hard.

00:53:55.000 I think it's harder than stand-up for me, obviously, because you can't address when it's not going well. 0.96

00:54:00.000 Like, if I'm having a shit set, I can immediately address it and let them know. 0.98

00:54:05.000 And if I think it's their fault, like, we're all going to have a rotten night, I'll make it miserable. 1.00

00:54:11.000 But in an acting scene, it's like you just have to redo it, or you can't break it and go, this fucking sucks. 0.99

00:54:15.000 These jokes are not good. 0.99

00:54:16.000 What do we...

00:54:17.000 This is poor writing.

00:54:18.000 You have to just kind of muscle through it and smile, and I've never been good at that.

00:54:23.000 And it's not because I have so much integrity.

00:54:24.000 I'm just not good at it.

00:54:25.000 I wish I was better at it.

00:54:28.000 You'd be better at it if you were really interested in it.

00:54:31.000 Maybe, yeah.

00:54:32.000 I'm just too self-conscious.

00:54:33.000 Like, I'm self-conscious around my friends.

00:54:35.000 I'm always, it's the thing that I hate the most, always self-conscious, and I don't know why, but when I act, it comes out.

00:54:42.000 Like, it's just, it's obvious.

00:54:43.000 You know, you can't hide that on camera.

00:54:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:54:48.000 Boy, imagine if you, like, put all your fucking eggs in the sitcom basket. 0.99

00:54:52.000 I tried at one point, you know, early on, I was like trying to get the seven minutes that I thought they would want. 0.99

00:54:59.000 Everybody wants the big deal in Montreal. 0.98

00:55:01.000 Montreal rejected me for a decade, and when I finally got up there, no one gave a fuck. 0.91

00:55:05.000 Like, you know, the business, it has never been the path I thought I was going to take. 0.78

00:55:09.000 Ever.

00:55:10.000 They've never wanted me, and I accept that.

00:55:12.000 It's just very bizarre that something so beloved, like an American institution, which was the You know, the three-camera sitcom.

00:55:19.000 Yeah.

00:55:19.000 Multi-camera sitcom with in front of a live audience.

00:55:22.000 It doesn't exist anymore.

00:55:23.000 I think it's Miss Pat only.

00:55:25.000 I don't think anybody...

00:55:26.000 She's the only one that I know of that's doing...

00:55:28.000 I'm sure there's probably a couple other that I'm just not aware of.

00:55:31.000 But she's the only one in terms of comics that are starring in a sitcom that I'm aware of. 1.00

00:55:36.000 It used to be...

00:55:36.000 There was a ton of them.

00:55:37.000 And I would have thought that as the more entertainment venues opened up, meaning more networks...

00:55:43.000 Like, when we were kids, when we were first starting out in show business, there was only Fox, ABC, NBC, and CBS. Yes.

00:55:51.000 Right?

00:55:51.000 That was it.

00:55:52.000 That was it.

00:55:52.000 And then cable shows.

00:55:54.000 So then it became MTV, and a bunch of different things came along, and, like, you could be on remote control and MTV, like some people were, or you could be on this show or that show.

00:56:04.000 It's like...

00:56:05.000 Then it started to broaden.

00:56:06.000 I would have never thought that as it...

00:56:09.000 Continues to go as wide as it is today that sitcoms will all but vanish.

00:56:13.000 Yeah, never would have I guess because the idea like again anytime these people touch things anytime the business Becomes too involved in something they they neuter it and they make it on.

00:56:24.000 It's just not funny anymore They have laugh tracks.

00:56:26.000 So did the writing didn't have to be that good, right?

00:56:29.000 You know the laugh tracks are what really killed it like because the writing could be weak But the laugh was the same so the writing didn't have to be good.

00:56:35.000 Whereas live TV if it wasn't good, you knew it wasn't good Yeah, there's shows that they do where you can watch clips online that are without the laugh track before the laugh track was added to it, and it's horrendous!

00:56:48.000 It's abysmal.

00:56:49.000 Even MASH, which I loved growing up, I hated the laugh track.

00:56:51.000 Right, they added a laugh track while they were in Vietnam.

00:56:54.000 Do you know what...

00:56:54.000 Oh, Korea.

00:56:55.000 Do you know what makes...

00:56:56.000 The only laugh track I've ever liked is...

00:56:58.000 Steve Coogan is hilarious.

00:57:00.000 And he did...

00:57:01.000 I'm Alan Partridge.

00:57:03.000 It's a British show where he played a radio guy.

00:57:06.000 And it's a really funny show.

00:57:08.000 And his laugh track, for some reason, didn't bother me.

00:57:11.000 Like, it worked as a device for some reason.

00:57:13.000 But other than that, I've always hated them.

00:57:16.000 Well, you can do an organic laugh track.

00:57:17.000 You know about those?

00:57:18.000 No.

00:57:19.000 So you basically film a show without a laugh track, and then you play the show to a live audience and record their laughter.

00:57:25.000 Okay, yeah.

00:57:26.000 Then the laughs are at least honest.

00:57:27.000 Yeah, I know that there's shows that have done it that way.

00:57:30.000 What is that for?

00:57:31.000 Actually, that might actually work.

00:57:33.000 Well, you have to do it that way if you're doing a single-camera show.

00:57:36.000 Or the same joke in front of the audience five times.

00:57:38.000 I remember we did Lucky Louie, and we'd have to reshoot something, and Louie would be like, you got anything?

00:57:42.000 You got anything?

00:57:42.000 Because as a comic, he hated doing the same joke in front of the audience twice.

00:57:46.000 So you'd try to come up with something, or he would just improv something crazy.

00:57:50.000 It was a lot of fun, but it was a challenge to try not to do the same joke if you could avoid it.

00:57:55.000 That was one of the fun things they did on news radio.

00:57:57.000 We would do a take, and then they would take a break, and the writers would convey, and then the warm-up guy would talk to the crowd, and then the writers would come up with another line.

00:58:07.000 And then we'd bang it out right there, and try another line, and then do like three or four different takes.

00:58:12.000 And the audience started to get ready for the different joke at the end.

00:58:17.000 And there was like three or four different ones, and they'd pick one.

00:58:20.000 But it was like the pressure of that moment was what created some of the best ideas, for whatever reason.

00:58:25.000 You feel dishonest doing the same joke twice.

00:58:28.000 There's something about it where you feel like, hey, we all know I'm lying right now.

00:58:33.000 It just doesn't feel right.

00:58:36.000 And the crowd is much more appreciative when they know you're giving them something different. 0.72

00:58:41.000 But yeah, I feel terrible doing this like some guys when they do a stand-up special like I've never done a Retake of a joke and again not that I don't think any of them needed it But it's just like I'm too embarrassed to do the same joke twice to the audience I would rather like I dropped my closing joke on a special because I fucking tripped on it like an idiot And I just I couldn't go back and redo it.

00:59:00.000 I'm like I just have to close with something else.

00:59:02.000 It's just too humiliating Yeah.

00:59:05.000 Well, the sitcom thing is also, it's not really stand-up.

00:59:09.000 It's very different, right?

00:59:10.000 So you're just trying to interact with these people the best way possible to get the story through and get the laughs.

00:59:16.000 And the audience is aware of that.

00:59:17.000 So they're in on this process that they normally never get to see.

00:59:21.000 Whereas stand-up, you always see where the stand-up's on stage and, you know, they're telling the joke and the audience is laughing.

00:59:27.000 But with a sitcom, you never get to see how the sausage is made.

00:59:30.000 So these are the people in the audience.

00:59:32.000 The cameras are moving around.

00:59:33.000 So it's an experience on top of just you're watching the show, but you're there live.

00:59:39.000 You're watching it be created.

00:59:41.000 So you're also watching someone fumble through their lines and start laughing.

00:59:44.000 That would happen, or we would crack.

00:59:46.000 I used to do scenes with Andy Dick, and he's so funny.

00:59:50.000 I would always break. 0.99

00:59:51.000 We'd be in the middle of the fucking thing. 0.99

00:59:53.000 And then we'd take two and I'd pinch myself or slap myself or do something to try to be more serious and get through it. 0.99

01:00:00.000 But there's that too that the audience is seeing.

01:00:03.000 So if they see you retake a scene, but at least you're adding new lines, so now it doesn't feel like they're burdened by seeing the same thing over again.

01:00:11.000 Now it's like, oh wow, this is how they do it.

01:00:13.000 So sometimes they just come up with new stuff on the fly.

01:00:16.000 It's also weird when I don't look at the audience.

01:00:19.000 Like, as a stand-up, you want to just look at the crowd.

01:00:21.000 But if we were shooting something on the side stage, and the crowd would just watch it on a monitor, or even if I do Gutfeld on Fox, and I'm usually sitting next to Greg where I see the audience, but once in a while, if I sit in the seat where the audience is here, it's so hard to just live in this environment without just turning and looking at the crowd.

01:00:39.000 I hate not seeing the crowd.

01:00:41.000 And with other guys, it doesn't bother, but it drives me crazy to not be looking directly at the audience.

01:00:45.000 Yeah, it's an extra level of fake, right?

01:00:47.000 Because you know it's fake because you're not really in an office.

01:00:50.000 You know it's fake because there's no wall.

01:00:52.000 You know it's fake because there's a whole audience of people.

01:00:54.000 And you're trying to act normal.

01:00:56.000 Yeah.

01:00:56.000 So you're trying to act normal in an environment where everyone knows it's fake.

01:01:01.000 Yeah, you're trying to make it real.

01:01:02.000 But at least if you're on a single camera show, you know, if you're doing...

01:01:07.000 Like Modern Family or something like that.

01:01:09.000 You get a single camera and like it's just like you're filming a movie.

01:01:13.000 There's no audience.

01:01:14.000 You have to piece.

01:01:15.000 So you can be real in moments and you're not worried about not looking at the crowd that's laughing at you.

01:01:22.000 Right.

01:01:22.000 And if you have to redo it, it doesn't matter because it's not a bunch of people who you need a reaction from.

01:01:27.000 Waiting.

01:01:28.000 Waiting.

01:01:28.000 Yeah.

01:01:29.000 Yeah.

01:01:29.000 I just, that whole world, I just, it became so exhausted trying to be in it.

01:01:33.000 And I'm so happy that I don't have to exist in it.

01:01:35.000 And again, it has nothing to do with me thinking I'm too good for it.

01:01:37.000 It's just, I wasn't good in it.

01:01:39.000 It's not where I'm comfortable.

01:01:40.000 I don't feel funny there.

01:01:42.000 I don't feel welcome there.

01:01:43.000 Weren't you unlucky, Louis, though?

01:01:45.000 That's what I was saying.

01:01:45.000 That was great.

01:01:47.000 It's one of my favorite things I ever did.

01:01:49.000 But again, it's Louie's writing.

01:01:50.000 Right, right. 0.98

01:01:51.000 So, I mean, the jokes were pretty fucking rough. 0.98

01:01:53.000 And, you know, he would go really hard. 0.97

01:01:55.000 And the crowd, they had never seen any of the episodes.

01:02:00.000 Like, the whole thing was shot before any of them aired.

01:02:02.000 So there was no week-to-week growth with familiarity.

01:02:05.000 We shot 13, actually, and then they just aired.

01:02:09.000 So the crowd, we were resetting with each crowd.

01:02:11.000 They had no idea who we were, no idea what the characters were, but it's one of the most fun things I ever did.

01:02:17.000 Loved Lucky Louie.

01:02:19.000 Yeah, and then he goes from that and does his own show.

01:02:21.000 A massive, yeah, which was a huge...

01:02:24.000 Yeah, I mean, it just worked.

01:02:26.000 HBO, I thought, fucked up by not picking that up for a second season. 0.98

01:02:28.000 They allowed a few critics, even though it had a lot of viewers, they allowed a few critics to shit on it enough to get it canceled. 0.98

01:02:36.000 You think that's what happened? 0.95

01:02:37.000 I know it's what happened, yeah.

01:02:38.000 Louis talked about it, yeah, because it was actually week to week going up in viewers.

01:02:42.000 It was just...

01:02:42.000 I thought HBO made a mistake by not at least giving it season two.

01:02:45.000 Isn't that interesting that they would allow the opinions of people who are...

01:02:48.000 They're professional critics. 0.88

01:02:50.000 They're professional shitters on things.

01:02:53.000 Yeah.

01:02:54.000 Well, they had shows like Sopranos and Six Feet Under. 0.56

01:02:58.000 They were built on critical acclaim and things that people love.

01:03:02.000 Sex and the City, all this stuff where it got awards.

01:03:05.000 HBO was the first ones getting awards.

01:03:07.000 So when the critics were going, we don't like this, I think immediately they're like, yeah, it's not worth it.

01:03:13.000 Doing.

01:03:13.000 But yeah, that was kind of always heartbreaking.

01:03:15.000 But I always think it's because I was attached to it. 0.99

01:03:17.000 Like, I really am a fucking black spot on the lung. 0.99

01:03:20.000 Like, anything like that, it's gonna go away. 0.99

01:03:23.000 I don't think it's that.

01:03:23.000 I think it was Louis' first time at one of those things.

01:03:25.000 He didn't have the kind of control that he had when he went over and did Louis.

01:03:28.000 Yeah.

01:03:29.000 Yeah.

01:03:29.000 That's what I think.

01:03:30.000 The writing, though, like, they didn't really, I'm sure they fucked with him where I didn't see it, but we would run through the rehearsals, and it always seemed to pretty much, we would kind of shoot what I thought we were going to shoot.

01:03:41.000 I just, the critics, there was one critic who, like, weeks into the series went after it, and Louie always thought, like, that was one of the things that sunk us. 0.94

01:03:49.000 So, you know, it is what it is, I mean, but it was, that was one of the ones I looked back on and go, fuck, I wish that had been good for a season two. 0.95

01:03:55.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:03:56.000 Yeah, it's so hard to make things now.

01:03:59.000 I mean, how many comedy shows like that with comics are on the air now?

01:04:06.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't watch any of them anyway.

01:04:08.000 Like, I don't watch stand-up.

01:04:09.000 I don't watch... 1.00

01:04:10.000 And it probably should, because I interview people, and I'm just such a fucking idiot. 0.99

01:04:14.000 Like, I don't watch things people... 0.99

01:04:15.000 Do you watch specials?

01:04:16.000 Like, I can't watch somebody special.

01:04:18.000 Even if I love them, I can't watch it.

01:04:19.000 I like watching people live.

01:04:21.000 I do like watching people in the club.

01:04:23.000 I do that.

01:04:24.000 I very rarely sit down and watch a special.

01:04:27.000 If one of my friends puts something out and he asks me to watch something, I'll watch something.

01:04:31.000 But most of the time, I like seeing comedy.

01:04:35.000 I mean, I'm very fortunate.

01:04:36.000 I get to see some of the best comics live on the spot.

01:04:39.000 So I just like doing that.

01:04:41.000 Yeah, I get, even if I'm walking through and I see Colin on stage, I'll watch or tell, like in the cell you see such great comedians.

01:04:47.000 Yeah.

01:04:47.000 But the idea of actually just watching somebody, I just, I guess because I'm also like everybody else, clip-based.

01:04:52.000 It's all fucking a minute or two minutes and I run out of patience with something.

01:04:55.000 I also want to see things I wish I would have thought of. 0.91

01:04:57.000 Oh yeah, that's true too.

01:04:59.000 And when you're entertaining yourself, what do you entertain yourself with?

01:05:03.000 Is it movies?

01:05:04.000 Like what do you...

01:05:05.000 We go through, I watch a lot of TV with Nicki, so it's like, we're going through a Sopranos watch-through now.

01:05:10.000 You re-watched it?

01:05:10.000 A re-watch of Sopranos, yeah.

01:05:12.000 That's a good move.

01:05:13.000 Yeah, it's just- I probably forgot most of it.

01:05:15.000 I did forget most of it, and we interviewed, who did I interview recently?

01:05:19.000 It was Robert Eiler and Jamie Lynn Siegler, they're doing a podcast together.

01:05:24.000 So I was interviewing them, I'm like, fuck, I forgot how great this show was, let's just start it over and watch it. 0.99

01:05:29.000 But it's most of the shit people do. 1.00

01:05:30.000 I'm watching people climb buildings, free climbers, like these fucking maniacs that climb buildings. 1.00

01:05:36.000 I'm afraid I'll hide. 0.99

01:05:37.000 Did you ever watch those guys?

01:05:38.000 Yeah, it just freaks me out. 0.99

01:05:39.000 Alain Robert, I think his name, he's the French Spider-Man who kind of started all that shit. 0.98

01:05:44.000 Free climbing with no equipment. 0.97

01:05:46.000 A building.

01:05:46.000 A skyscraper.

01:05:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:48.000 100 stories.

01:05:49.000 Horrifying.

01:05:49.000 They always have these helmet cams on.

01:05:51.000 It really bothers me.

01:05:52.000 Yeah, that drives me nuts.

01:05:53.000 I can't imagine why you would do that.

01:05:56.000 Or I'll watch bee videos, like hornet's nests.

01:05:59.000 What is it like when it gets up there and the wind starts blowing?

01:06:02.000 Horrible. 0.77

01:06:03.000 I'm sure it's fucking terrible, but I can't get through the videos. 0.99

01:06:06.000 I have to stop watching. 0.99

01:06:07.000 I bet that wind can get under your stomach.

01:06:09.000 Dude, he just put one up where he showed himself on a building fighting the wind.

01:06:15.000 Oh my god.

01:06:16.000 And he's holding on and you can see...

01:06:18.000 Where is that?

01:06:20.000 Put that up.

01:06:20.000 If you go to Alain Robert, A-L-A-I-N, I think his Instagram showed it, where he's very close to the top of the building and you can see the wind.

01:06:30.000 Oh my god.

01:06:33.000 Do you see it?

01:06:36.000 I'm just laughing at his reaction.

01:06:37.000 Are you afraid of heights?

01:06:40.000 Oh yeah, me too.

01:06:41.000 I'm terrified. 1.00

01:06:42.000 I'm afraid of also doing something stupid like this. 1.00

01:06:45.000 That's what I'm afraid of. 1.00

01:06:46.000 Because I think my brain is the kind of brain that would be like, I think I can climb that.

01:06:51.000 You know?

01:06:51.000 That a person who gets good at climbing would want to climb a building like that?

01:06:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:06:57.000 I could see myself in another life being that stupid. 1.00

01:07:00.000 There's also... 1.00

01:07:01.000 Oh, yeah, there is.

01:07:01.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:07:03.000 Fighting against the windstorm, it says.

01:07:06.000 Yeah.

01:07:07.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:07:08.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:07:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:10.000 Doesn't that look helpless? 0.99

01:07:11.000 Oh, my God.

01:07:12.000 Listen to the wind. 1.00

01:07:15.000 Oh, fuck, man. 1.00

01:07:17.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:07:19.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:07:22.000 Jesus Christ, man. 1.00

01:07:24.000 Yeah, it's hard to watch.

01:07:25.000 All of his videos are like that.

01:07:29.000 You see how close he is to the top?

01:07:30.000 That gets me, dude. 1.00

01:07:32.000 That makes my fucking hand sweat. 0.99

01:07:34.000 Yeah, me too. 1.00

01:07:35.000 Me too.

01:07:35.000 I can't get through these videos usually.

01:07:37.000 Oh my god!

01:07:38.000 Get down! 0.98

01:07:39.000 Get down! 0.98

01:07:40.000 Don't just stand up there when you get to the top.

01:07:42.000 Imagine if the wind caught him.

01:07:44.000 There's one he did where he gets close to the rooftop and then he can't get over it.

01:07:49.000 The tip top of it he can't get over.

01:07:51.000 He has to climb back down the building.

01:07:53.000 No, no, no he doesn't.

01:07:54.000 Did you see the Burj Khalifa one on the top left?

01:07:58.000 Where he's standing on top of the...

01:08:00.000 Oh my god.

01:08:03.000 Oh my god.

01:08:04.000 What is he doing?

01:08:06.000 What are you doing up there, buddy?

01:08:08.000 Get down.

01:08:09.000 Yeah.

01:08:10.000 Hey Habibi, come to Dubai. 1.00

01:08:11.000 Yeah.

01:08:13.000 I don't know what that means either.

01:08:15.000 Scroll down a little bit.

01:08:16.000 There was some workout that he was doing where he's hanging.

01:08:18.000 I think that's his house.

01:08:20.000 Let me see what that is.

01:08:21.000 What is he doing here?

01:08:22.000 Oh, wow, dude.

01:08:24.000 So he's got like freak control of his body.

01:08:27.000 That's insane.

01:08:29.000 He's hanging on with like one finger.

01:08:31.000 He's got like finger holes.

01:08:32.000 Yeah, doing pull-ups.

01:08:33.000 He's doing a one finger pull-up.

01:08:36.000 Oh my god, that's insane.

01:08:38.000 Yeah, terrifying.

01:08:39.000 It says for 50 years.

01:08:42.000 It says soon there will be 50 years that I've been climbing free solo.

01:08:46.000 Some people say that it's crazy as far as I'm concerned.

01:08:48.000 I've been living my dreams all along and potentially assuming the potential outcome.

01:08:57.000 The potential outcome.

01:08:58.000 Imagine just thinking about it that way.

01:09:00.000 The potential outcome of you falling to your death.

01:09:05.000 I hate when he turns around.

01:09:06.000 Sometimes he turns around and looks down.

01:09:08.000 Yeah, I hate that.

01:09:09.000 Yeah, it's hard.

01:09:10.000 It's hard.

01:09:10.000 Get it off the screen.

01:09:13.000 It's hard.

01:09:13.000 It's hard to look at.

01:09:17.000 Yeah, but that's what I do.

01:09:17.000 I watch guys like that.

01:09:18.000 And there's a lot of guys that are following in his footsteps now, but it's those type of things.

01:09:22.000 A lot of it's the helmet cam.

01:09:24.000 Didn't some guy fall recently?

01:09:25.000 He was doing parkour, doing backflips on top of a building and he fell?

01:09:30.000 Yes, and there's also footage of another guy falling.

01:09:33.000 I think he was a Chinese climber and he was on the 60th floor.

01:09:37.000 You don't see them splat, but you see him.

01:09:40.000 He had the camera set up, and he's hanging on the top, and he's trying to climb.

01:09:44.000 Yeah, and he can't make it up.

01:09:45.000 He can't make it up, and he just lets go.

01:09:47.000 And they said he was on the 60th floor.

01:09:50.000 But that's the feeling that looks so helpless, is hanging on to the top and trying to get your feet going.

01:09:55.000 And that's exactly how it happens.

01:10:00.000 Yeah, but you don't skydive or any of that stuff?

01:10:03.000 No.

01:10:03.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:03.000 I hate heights.

01:10:05.000 Hate them.

01:10:05.000 No, no, no.

01:10:09.000 Of no desire.

01:10:10.000 Yeah.

01:10:10.000 I wish I wasn't afraid of it though.

01:10:13.000 Brian Redband's dad worked in this office and this lady was always trying to get him to skydive with him and then one day he goes in the office and she's not there.

01:10:25.000 Parachute didn't open up.

01:10:26.000 Oh, wow.

01:10:27.000 Yeah, good for him not going.

01:10:29.000 Yeah.

01:10:29.000 Good for him saying no.

01:10:30.000 I think I fucked that story up.

01:10:31.000 No, I mean it's...

01:10:32.000 Is that right?

01:10:33.000 Was it a lady that he worked with? 0.99

01:10:37.000 That's it, yeah.

01:10:38.000 Yeah, it terrifies me. 1.00

01:10:39.000 Even flying, when I was coming here, I'm such a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:10:43.000 I checked the weather reports to see how bumpy the flight might be. 1.00

01:10:46.000 I'm really annoying. 0.98

01:10:47.000 They said high winds, and I'm like, it's going to be a bad flight, and for two days I'm panicking before about the fucking wind. 0.89

01:10:54.000 So yeah, the height thing is really, it's a paralyzing fear. 0.90

01:10:58.000 Yeah, because you know that if you make a mistake, you'll die.

01:11:01.000 And these people fight that fear and climb.

01:11:04.000 Like, Alex Honnold is one of the oddest guys I think I've ever met.

01:11:08.000 Because he does that all the time in these mountains.

01:11:11.000 He's crazy, you know, like, where the angle is going backwards.

01:11:15.000 And he's got to climb a thousand feet while just kind of hanging on with his feet and toes.

01:11:20.000 Does he use equipment or does he free climb?

01:11:22.000 No.

01:11:23.000 Not only Free Solo, the film's called Free Solo, that documentary on him.

01:11:27.000 Yeah, he climbed like that 3,000 foot one.

01:11:29.000 I think I saw some of that.

01:11:30.000 Yeah, he's climbed a lot of them all over the world.

01:11:33.000 But it's just the act of doing that, the act of just being involved in risking your life and just climbing all the time, it's just...

01:11:43.000 Did you ever watch The Alpinist?

01:11:45.000 No.

01:11:45.000 That documentary?

01:11:46.000 Oh my god.

01:11:47.000 It's about this kid who was like the goat of these guys.

01:11:51.000 And it got to the point for him where just regular free solo climbing on mountains wasn't scary enough.

01:11:58.000 So he starts ice climbing.

01:12:01.000 So what he's doing is climbing up the side of, like, icicles hanging off the side of a mountain, and he's doing it with an ice axe.

01:12:09.000 So he's pulling himself up with ice axes.

01:12:13.000 Because, like, regular climbing doesn't freak him out enough.

01:12:16.000 Now he's got an ice axe his way up the...

01:12:19.000 I mean, so this ice is hanging off the mountain, okay?

01:12:22.000 So you have this cliff face right here, and then you have all this space.

01:12:26.000 And then you have the ice...

01:12:28.000 Thousands of feet hanging down above the ground.

01:12:33.000 And he's digging into this ice and hoping it hangs on there while he's climbing his way.

01:12:39.000 You gotta see it.

01:12:40.000 You wanna freak out?

01:12:40.000 Look at this.

01:12:42.000 This guy was out of his fucking mind. 0.99

01:12:43.000 It is crazy what people have to do to feel like they're upping the last time. 1.00

01:12:47.000 Like that stuff.

01:12:48.000 That's what he would climb.

01:12:50.000 Did you see the icicles?

01:12:52.000 Wherever you found it.

01:12:54.000 I think it was early in the beginning where they showed the icicles.

01:12:57.000 But this guy would make his way with...

01:13:00.000 Just Google his name.

01:13:01.000 I know there's really good...

01:13:02.000 Of course, I played the trailer of the movie.

01:13:04.000 It doesn't show any of the stuff you're talking about.

01:13:05.000 This is the trailer, right?

01:13:06.000 Is he dead or alive?

01:13:07.000 He died.

01:13:08.000 He died doing that actual thing.

01:13:10.000 He got caught in an avalanche.

01:13:12.000 Jesus.

01:13:12.000 How about he didn't fall?

01:13:13.000 He just got...

01:13:14.000 No, he just got...

01:13:14.000 That's it.

01:13:15.000 So that's it right there.

01:13:16.000 That's how you climb. 1.00

01:13:16.000 That kind of shit. 1.00

01:13:17.000 And you see how he just did it with the ice axes? 1.00

01:13:20.000 That's how you do it.

01:13:21.000 He climb icicles.

01:13:23.000 Because like regular climbing rocks got boring.

01:13:27.000 And if you talk to psychologists that really understand the human mind, there's like a thing that these, this is like the theory, that some of these people that do this kind of stuff, like look at that, look how insane that is.

01:13:39.000 They don't feel normal.

01:13:41.000 So in order to feel something, they really have to do that.

01:13:45.000 They really have to do something that would be absolutely paralyzingly terrifying to you or me.

01:13:50.000 I think that...

01:13:51.000 I might be fucking up the phrase.

01:13:53.000 Tyson talked about something about, I guess, when he was doing drugs or medicine. 0.61

01:13:57.000 He said the baseline normal, I think, was the term he used.

01:13:59.000 It was something about what it takes to get just to feel zero.

01:14:04.000 Like, just to feel, okay, I'm regular.

01:14:06.000 And whatever, if you're addicted to something, adrenaline, whatever it is, we all have that.

01:14:11.000 For me, it would be...

01:14:13.000 Porn or set like you I mean like it took so long or so many different things to just get to that feeling like I'm starting to feel high from this I'm starting to feel yeah like baseline normal is a good way to put that it's a good way to put like one of the conversations that I We were having the other day in the green room was how fun it is to be able to talk to people that you just want to have fun with Just like comics you could say anything to them.

01:14:34.000 Everyone's laughing. 0.91

01:14:35.000 Everyone's shit on everybody We're all cracking up and it's all with love And that's our baseline normal. 0.97

01:14:42.000 So if you get the people that are used to what we have as baseline normal and you put them in some stuffy office environment, It's going to be a real problem for us. 1.00

01:14:52.000 We're going to feel super constrained and we're going to feel like shit. 0.85

01:14:55.000 And people who see it a lot of times think you're being mean to each other. 0.98

01:14:58.000 And it's like, no, you have an understanding that this is how we...

01:15:01.000 Tough crowd.

01:15:02.000 It's like sparring with somebody.

01:15:04.000 Yes.

01:15:04.000 It's not hurting them.

01:15:05.000 It's you're throwing punches at a person who's also throwing them back at you.

01:15:08.000 Yeah, tough crowd is a great example.

01:15:10.000 Keith Robinson.

01:15:11.000 Keith Robinson's had two strokes.

01:15:12.000 And I went and watched him. 0.99

01:15:13.000 His special is fucking amazing. 0.99

01:15:15.000 He shot a Netflix special. 0.99

01:15:16.000 It's so good.

01:15:16.000 And it was really great.

01:15:19.000 But Keith doesn't expect an ounce of sympathy from people.

01:15:24.000 Nobody treats him any differently.

01:15:26.000 The stroke is just one more thing we make fun of and he's the same guy he's always been.

01:15:31.000 And anybody on the outside would see that and go, you guys are mean to each other. 0.98

01:15:34.000 But if we were all of a sudden to start talking to Keith differently and trying to kid glove him, he would fucking hate it. 0.97

01:15:41.000 It would be uncomfortable and he would feel like, I'm not a damaged mental person. 0.97

01:15:45.000 You know what I mean?

01:15:45.000 I'm the same guy.

01:15:47.000 So yeah, people see that sometimes they don't understand that we really do love each other like we're just being dicks because that's what makes us laugh Yeah, and it's also the way we feed off each other We spar and it gets everybody better too like when someone shits on you with a really good zinger You know, oh you get home. 0.99

01:16:02.000 You're like god damn. 0.99

01:16:03.000 He got me good one Yeah, how did I fuck I gotta I gotta write better lines. 1.00

01:16:07.000 I gotta come up with some better lines I gotta come up with some more funny things to say about him Let me think what's fucked up about the way he dresses, the way he talks, and you know what annoys me about you? 0.99

01:16:15.000 And then you're going out, and they're both smiling. 0.85

01:16:18.000 Everyone's smiling.

01:16:18.000 Everyone's laughing.

01:16:19.000 And it also, but it keeps you honest, too.

01:16:22.000 Like, Colin is really good at that.

01:16:24.000 Like, we'll be at the cellar sometimes, and I'll say something that I think makes sense. 0.99

01:16:28.000 And he'll go, what are you, my fucking aunt? 0.99

01:16:30.000 And I'm like, oh, God, he's right. 0.99

01:16:31.000 Like, it was an aunt thing that I said, and you can either get annoyed at it, Or you can just acknowledge, like, wow, that really was kind of a douchey old lady thing I just said, and just take it.

01:16:42.000 Well, also, even if it wasn't, the fact that someone could make fun of it, you should think that's funny.

01:16:47.000 Even though, well, that's not what I meant.

01:16:49.000 But that is funny.

01:16:51.000 Yeah, he's annoying when he calls you out in front of people who aren't comics. 1.00

01:16:53.000 He's done that to me too, this fucking asshole on Whole Foods one time. 1.00

01:16:56.000 Somebody said something, like the cashier said something. 1.00

01:16:59.000 I go, oh, no worries.

01:17:00.000 And he goes, does it annoy you that he's talking like an Australian tour guide?

01:17:03.000 And she laughs at me. 1.00

01:17:05.000 And I was like, fucking shut up. 1.00

01:17:08.000 Because it's embarrassing because if he said it to another comic, I wouldn't care. 1.00

01:17:13.000 But this is just some fucking lady who really thought it was funny. 1.00

01:17:16.000 And obviously I did sound like that, but... 0.99

01:17:18.000 It makes you almost hyper aware of everything you say.

01:17:22.000 And that's our baseline normal.

01:17:25.000 Yeah.

01:17:25.000 But I can't function with that.

01:17:28.000 I can't be in a relationship with someone who isn't like that or who doesn't appreciate that.

01:17:32.000 It's not fun.

01:17:33.000 It's not fun.

01:17:34.000 And if you always have to watch what you're saying or you're always worried I'm going to upset them by being too harsh or they're too fragile.

01:17:41.000 Now imagine that same sort of philosophy, that same mindset, and then you apply it to work.

01:17:47.000 So work, when you have to work somewhere, most of the time you don't get to choose the people you work with.

01:17:53.000 You work with the people who also work at the place you work. 0.99

01:17:55.000 And then you have to deal with all these fucking bullshit sensitivities that they might be bringing to the table. 0.98

01:18:01.000 Yeah, and there's also a penalty in those situations where if you say something people don't like, they go to human resources. 0.99

01:18:06.000 Oh yeah. 0.98

01:18:07.000 Which nothing destroys fun like fucking human resources. 0.99

01:18:12.000 Especially when their job is only to make sure the company doesn't get sued. 0.99

01:18:15.000 Yep, that's it.

01:18:16.000 Yeah.

01:18:16.000 It's all that lawsuits.

01:18:17.000 That really is.

01:18:18.000 I mean, even at work, like, you know, on the air, we can say what we want. 0.96

01:18:22.000 They never fuck with us. 0.52

01:18:23.000 But I don't talk to anybody in the office. 0.99

01:18:25.000 I mean, I don't fucking, hi, hello, and keep walking. 0.87

01:18:28.000 I don't want any miscommunications, any misinterpretations. 0.95

01:18:31.000 Or any opportunity for someone to just be deceitful.

01:18:34.000 Someone to pretend that you said something.

01:18:36.000 Or...

01:18:37.000 Lock you into some sort of a weird deal.

01:18:39.000 What's easier?

01:18:40.000 I know people that have had to do that where it's easier to pay someone than it is to Yeah, deal with the ramifications of being falsely charged.

01:18:47.000 Yeah, whatever.

01:18:49.000 Yeah, or just yeah, he said this to me and it's like how do I prove that I didn't say that right?

01:18:53.000 There's no Yeah, people that make money suing companies to they it's like it's a real good way to go and I got sued. 0.78

01:19:00.000 I mean, it's why I have E&O insurance, because I got fucking sued for half a million dollars. 0.99

01:19:06.000 It was that fucking for defamation, because I shit on that lawyer on the air when he called in. 1.00

01:19:12.000 He was like the guy's right activist, and he called up, and I insulted him for an hour, and I implied that he fucked chickens. 1.00

01:19:18.000 It was funny. 0.99

01:19:20.000 I remember saying, he sued me for defamation, and I remember saying, this guy wants to kill me.

01:19:26.000 But he can't, so he's getting me legally.

01:19:29.000 Because we met once.

01:19:30.000 He thought I wanted to settle with him.

01:19:31.000 Because he amended his complaint.

01:19:32.000 He said that I was having people send him anthrax or white powder, implying it was anthrax. 0.99

01:19:37.000 It was fucking crazy. 0.99

01:19:39.000 So I had him meet in my lawyer's office just to tell him, like, dude, that's insane. 0.99

01:19:43.000 I thought, like, it's two people.

01:19:45.000 But he thought I was going to settle.

01:19:47.000 So we shook hands and met.

01:19:48.000 He was just like a little fishy, weird guy.

01:19:52.000 And then he just continued to sue me.

01:19:54.000 And it finally went away.

01:19:55.000 I had a great lawyer.

01:19:57.000 And in court, eight months later, or nine months later, the judge didn't like him.

01:20:02.000 And my attorney started reading things I said to him on the air.

01:20:05.000 And all the other lawyers in the court started laughing.

01:20:07.000 And all those people laughing at him.

01:20:10.000 Got him to go, oh, Your Honor, we can settle this.

01:20:13.000 So they went in the back and that was it.

01:20:15.000 No money was paid.

01:20:15.000 It was just dropped.

01:20:17.000 Oh, he just didn't want to be mocked.

01:20:19.000 He didn't want to be mocked.

01:20:20.000 And he wrote like this manifesto and he mentioned me in it. 0.99

01:20:24.000 And that guy, over the fucking pandemic, dressed up like a FedEx worker and went to a judge's house and shot her son and killed him. 0.99

01:20:33.000 That was the guy? 1.00

01:20:34.000 That's the same guy, Roy Denhollander.

01:20:36.000 That was the guy that sued you?

01:20:37.000 That's the guy that sued me. 1.00

01:20:38.000 Holy shit! 0.99

01:20:39.000 And he went to... 1.00

01:20:41.000 He was going to, I think, murder Sonia Sotomayor, I think her name is, the Supreme Court Justice, and they said he might have killed somebody else in L.A. They don't know.

01:20:49.000 But yeah, he was going to shoot her, and her son answered the door. 1.00

01:20:54.000 Holy shit, dude. 1.00

01:20:55.000 Yeah, but I knew that guy... 0.99

01:20:58.000 It was more than a lawsuit.

01:20:59.000 Because he had challenged me to a duel.

01:21:01.000 I didn't tell you.

01:21:01.000 On the air, he goes, do you want to go to South America and have a duel?

01:21:04.000 Like, it was really bizarre that he chose...

01:21:07.000 Like one of those 10 paces things?

01:21:08.000 Yes!

01:21:09.000 Like, it was so nuts.

01:21:10.000 Whoa.

01:21:11.000 And then he started wanting to come back in studio and fight us.

01:21:15.000 He's like, it'll just be me against the three hosts fighting.

01:21:17.000 All these crazy messages.

01:21:19.000 Oh, my God.

01:21:21.000 I can't believe that was the guy.

01:21:23.000 I never knew that.

01:21:24.000 That's the guy. 0.99

01:21:25.000 Yeah, so when that type of shit happens, it does change you a little bit. 0.99

01:21:30.000 You're like, wow, that guy was right. 0.99

01:21:31.000 That guy literally wanted to murder me.

01:21:32.000 It wasn't me being crazy or paranoid.

01:21:35.000 And most people, from what I heard, he had cancer. 0.55

01:21:38.000 They said he had incurable stage 4 cancer, and then he wound up doing that, and then he just blew his brains out and shot himself.

01:21:44.000 Oh, wow. 0.74

01:21:45.000 Yeah.

01:21:46.000 So they never got him.

01:21:47.000 He did it to himself.

01:21:49.000 He killed himself.

01:21:50.000 Yeah, I think the cops were coming to get him, and he killed himself.

01:21:54.000 So, yeah, that could have been a lot worse.

01:21:56.000 Oh, boy.

01:21:57.000 And I look back on that, and I also feel good about myself, like, hey, you read this guy right.

01:22:03.000 Like, I read what type of person he was.

01:22:07.000 Like, you know, you get pretty good instincts.

01:22:10.000 Like, if somebody's heckling you, you understand.

01:22:11.000 Is this guy having fun? 1.00

01:22:12.000 Or is this guy trying to be a piece of shit because he resents me? 1.00

01:22:15.000 You learn pretty quickly to read motives. 1.00

01:22:19.000 Maybe it's just an animal gut instinct, but I'm like, this guy's a fucking problem. 0.98

01:22:25.000 So yeah, I got very lucky with that, that it never got to that. 0.99

01:22:30.000 I wonder how much you having him humiliated ramped up all of his anger and led to him murdering people.

01:22:37.000 You know, I don't know, because it was years later, and it was also, he had this thing with women.

01:22:42.000 Like, I originally, we were going to interview him because he was suing Colombia because of their guys' studies, or women's studies, sorry.

01:22:49.000 And so I was like, look, I don't like anything that's progressive and exclusive by nature.

01:22:54.000 Like, you know what I mean?

01:22:55.000 Like, hey, how come they're not doing guys' studies?

01:22:56.000 So I'm like, let's see what...

01:22:58.000 But then it became apparent he just sues women.

01:23:00.000 So then we started to make fun of him.

01:23:02.000 Because it wasn't the principle of Columbia doing this. 1.00

01:23:06.000 It was like, you just have a fucking hard-on and want to sue women. 0.99

01:23:09.000 So then we kind of made fun of him. 1.00

01:23:11.000 And it got ugly and I was just being a dick like I was on the air. 0.98

01:23:17.000 I think he had so many of these problems, and it was much more about women than anything I said to him. 0.98

01:23:22.000 My humiliation of him was years earlier, but I do think I humiliated him, and he really wanted to.

01:23:28.000 My attorney at the time, his name was Tom Ferber, he was a great lawyer, and my law firm hated him so much, they retroactively knocked down what they were charging me.

01:23:39.000 They go, this guy's such a bad guy that we're gonna charge you less and we're gonna make it retroactive.

01:23:44.000 Like they were so offended by what he was doing as an attorney.

01:23:46.000 Wow.

01:23:47.000 So I got lucky with really good people and they really took good care of me.

01:23:52.000 You also got lucky that you caught him before the cancer.

01:23:55.000 Yes, 100%.

01:23:56.000 100% because, again, do I think he would have hunted me down and killed?

01:24:01.000 No, I think the judge for him was a bigger one.

01:24:03.000 But, I mean, I'm sure it would have felt good for him if he could have.

01:24:07.000 Especially if he was on a run.

01:24:08.000 So let me stop by the radio station.

01:24:10.000 Yeah.

01:24:11.000 And oddly enough, it happened in the town I grew up in, which was, again, a pure coincidence.

01:24:14.000 But it happened in North Brunswick.

01:24:16.000 Wow.

01:24:17.000 He went to kill her and just, unfortunately, her son answered the door. 0.96

01:24:20.000 Oh, boy.

01:24:22.000 Yeah, I've gotten so many threats over the years.

01:24:26.000 And legit, radio, podcasting, you don't see who...

01:24:29.000 It's not like live stand-up.

01:24:30.000 There's a lot of people that you don't see.

01:24:33.000 And I used to answer them. 0.99

01:24:34.000 I have hundreds of fucking hate mail messages. 0.98

01:24:36.000 And I used to go back and forth with people. 0.99

01:24:39.000 And I eventually stopped.

01:24:41.000 Because then people, like, I had a couple people talking about, you better watch your back, or talking about getting shot, and they were using their real names. 0.99

01:24:48.000 I'm like, alright, if this guy's using his real name, he's a fucking, there's something wrong with him. 0.99

01:24:51.000 Right. 0.99

01:24:52.000 And I don't know what he looks like, and he knows what I look like.

01:24:54.000 Yeah.

01:24:56.000 But I eventually stopped reading it or responding to it, because...

01:24:59.000 The thing about the ONA show, though, it was a very aggressive show.

01:25:02.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:25:03.000 And aggressive in shitting on people, aggressive in attacking people, and the weaponization of the pests...

01:25:11.000 Yeah, and they kind of did it on their own, and we enjoyed it, because they were really funny. 0.98

01:25:16.000 Like, they would do some really funny shit, like we would do jock-tobers, and just torture another- We should tell everybody what the pests are in the audience. 0.94

01:25:26.000 Oh, they were just these O&A fans that were rabid. 0.99

01:25:29.000 Really connected, very committed fans. 1.00

01:25:31.000 Yeah, and Pest was just this dumb affectionate because they were just pests. 0.99

01:25:35.000 They would just annoy people. 1.00

01:25:36.000 And we would take over and just fuck with another radio show. 0.99

01:25:39.000 It would only happen for a day, though. 0.99

01:25:41.000 You'd be in and out for a day.

01:25:42.000 They'd put all these horrible things on their Facebook page.

01:25:44.000 The Facebook page would shut down.

01:25:46.000 And then the next day, it would be another show.

01:25:48.000 Well, John Tober was just making fun of corny radio guys.

01:25:52.000 Yeah.

01:25:52.000 And I actually, it's funny, I had to go on, because, you know, I had the advantage of doing radio, but also of going on the road.

01:25:58.000 And I had been on shows, and they're like, you know you Jocktobered us. 0.99

01:26:02.000 So I had to go and face some of these fucking people. 0.99

01:26:05.000 And it's embarrassing. 1.00

01:26:07.000 It's embarrassing. 0.99

01:26:08.000 It's like being overheard talking shit, but... 0.99

01:26:09.000 What did you say to them when you were in the studio? 0.99

01:26:11.000 You know, they were cooler with it than I would have thought.

01:26:14.000 And there was one time in Boston, we had really been brutal to this show.

01:26:17.000 What show was it?

01:26:18.000 I don't remember.

01:26:19.000 It's been years ago.

01:26:19.000 I don't remember the show.

01:26:20.000 I didn't remember the Jocktobering.

01:26:22.000 But Kenny comes out and I was waiting to do a show and he goes, hey, you Jocktobered these people and they want to know if you have the guts to come in studio.

01:26:31.000 And I'm like, yeah.

01:26:32.000 So I went right in because you have to.

01:26:35.000 I would rather just face it.

01:26:37.000 And then we kind of talked about it, and it was okay.

01:26:39.000 It wasn't as aggressive.

01:26:41.000 I think they were surprised that I came in.

01:26:44.000 And whenever you talk to someone one-on-one, it humanizes them a little bit.

01:26:47.000 Like, it's harder to totally dismiss somebody when you're actually talking to them.

01:26:51.000 Right.

01:26:51.000 Because you realize, like, eh...

01:26:53.000 They're just making a living doing radio, and they look at me like he's just a stupid fucking comic making fun of something. 1.00

01:26:58.000 So we wound up getting along, and it was okay. 0.99

01:27:01.000 But yeah, I had to deal with that on the road.

01:27:03.000 I went on a few shows that we fought with, like Lex and Terry in Dallas.

01:27:07.000 They were really brutal, those guys.

01:27:08.000 They were harsh.

01:27:09.000 We had nasty fights with them.

01:27:11.000 And then eventually, I kind of made up, and I went on their show.

01:27:14.000 It was fun.

01:27:15.000 Are any of those shows still around?

01:27:17.000 How many of those radio shows?

01:27:19.000 I don't know.

01:27:19.000 I know Bubba's still around.

01:27:20.000 He's doing something.

01:27:21.000 I don't know if Lex and Terry are.

01:27:23.000 Toucher and Rich just broke up.

01:27:24.000 But they were friends.

01:27:25.000 They were one of those shows that made it through all these.

01:27:28.000 What about Bob and Dom?

01:27:29.000 One of them died.

01:27:31.000 Oh, which one?

01:27:31.000 I don't know.

01:27:32.000 I've only done this show once or twice, and I've been in studio once or twice.

01:27:36.000 I think one of them passed away, and I don't know which one.

01:27:40.000 They were the show to get on.

01:27:41.000 They were.

01:27:42.000 If you wanted to be big in the Midwest you wanted to get on the Bob and Tom show.

01:27:46.000 Yeah, Larry the Cable Guy, all these guys that they made.

01:27:49.000 I mean, radio, what it did for people for years...

01:27:52.000 Now, no one cares if you're on the radio. 0.97

01:27:53.000 Like, the regular radio doesn't do shit for people anymore. 0.85

01:27:55.000 Unless few shows and a few markets can help. 0.92

01:27:59.000 Like, Johnny Dare in Kansas City was always a great show to go on because he would help you sell tickets.

01:28:04.000 But most of those shows are gone.

01:28:05.000 I don't know.

01:28:06.000 I haven't been out there in so many years.

01:28:08.000 The weird ones for me now is, you know, whenever you...

01:28:15.000 Usually I use Apple CarPlay in my car.

01:28:18.000 But if I don't have it plugged in or if I forget my phone or something like that, I'm like, let me see what's on the radio.

01:28:24.000 And I'll press AM talk radio.

01:28:26.000 And I'll just scroll until I find either someone talking about Jesus or someone talking about Trump.

01:28:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:28:34.000 That's exactly what it is.

01:28:35.000 There's nothing funny.

01:28:36.000 Or there's very few funny shows anymore because everyone's so afraid of getting in trouble.

01:28:42.000 It's worse than it's ever been.

01:28:43.000 They're just trying to catch people slipping.

01:28:46.000 Trying to catch people saying something they can get them in trouble for.

01:28:49.000 Yeah, we got out just in time.

01:28:51.000 I mean, honestly, when we got fired in 2002, again, it turned out to be a blessing.

01:28:56.000 When you're doing Sirius, do they tell you how many people listen?

01:29:00.000 No.

01:29:00.000 It's a negotiation strength for them, but they don't.

01:29:04.000 It's like Netflix won't tell you how many people have watched your special.

01:29:07.000 But there's no one that you know that's inside?

01:29:09.000 No, no.

01:29:11.000 I've wanted to know, and I guess people, they said that Sam and I do really well on the, like for them, On Demand is very big.

01:29:18.000 Their app is very big.

01:29:19.000 And they said we do better than most people at the company on that app.

01:29:23.000 And they're really happy with it.

01:29:24.000 So the app, it's just like having Spotify or something like that.

01:29:28.000 You just press and you can get the show whenever you want.

01:29:31.000 Yeah, and you can listen to it and replay.

01:29:33.000 So it's essentially a podcast just released through the app.

01:29:35.000 Through the app.

01:29:36.000 And do you have to pay for that?

01:29:37.000 I don't know.

01:29:38.000 I mean, I think the app is free.

01:29:39.000 I don't listen to my own show, much less anything else on there.

01:29:43.000 But the show, you have to pay for SiriusXM.

01:29:45.000 Right.

01:29:45.000 It's just SiriusXM.

01:29:46.000 Sirius.

01:29:46.000 No, Sirius XM Pandora now.

01:29:48.000 Oh, is it?

01:29:48.000 Yeah, Sirius XM Pandora.

01:29:50.000 Oh, so I thought they got rid of the XM. Is it Pandora?

01:29:53.000 Yeah, they own Pandora, for sure.

01:29:54.000 Oh, you do?

01:29:55.000 Yeah, no, Sirius XM is still...

01:29:56.000 And they just added something else, too.

01:29:58.000 I should probably know because I work there, but I really don't.

01:30:00.000 How much longer do you think Howard's going to do it?

01:30:02.000 I don't know because I don't know him.

01:30:04.000 Like, I've met him.

01:30:05.000 I've never really interacted with Howard other than hello and goodbye.

01:30:08.000 Isn't that weird?

01:30:09.000 Yeah, same building same building, but he go in the studio.

01:30:12.000 I don't think he's been there for a long time I think he broadcasts from home like he's got his own studio But even when he was in I wouldn't see him because I came in I would see Artie like Artie Lang and I would bump into each other in the elevator all the time and I hated getting up and which would drive me crazy like Artie does heroin and he and I are getting here at the same time like he would he would fucking be there with the sunglasses on in the elevator going up to work So I bumped into Artie all the time,

01:30:37.000 but Howard I've probably seen two or three times in all those years.

01:30:40.000 Interesting.

01:30:41.000 Yeah, I never did his show because it was Opie and Anthony, and when we were off the air, I was an O&A guy, so I never tried to get on.

01:30:48.000 I just always wondered, what motivates him?

01:30:53.000 Does he want to keep doing it?

01:30:54.000 And doing it from home?

01:30:56.000 You get to a certain point in time where the only way you feel like you're connecting with people is if you do that.

01:31:02.000 That would be very odd.

01:31:03.000 If you're just doing it from your home and you're not going out, being out with people, and your only connection to the world is through a microphone.

01:31:10.000 Yeah.

01:31:11.000 It can get very odd.

01:31:12.000 I guess he's interviewing people he wants to talk to.

01:31:16.000 I guess at this point he just wants to do certain interviews.

01:31:20.000 Again, people have said his show changed a lot, but I was never a listener.

01:31:24.000 I don't listen to anything.

01:31:26.000 It definitely changed a lot, but you still got to give the guy props for what he did.

01:31:29.000 Because in the beginning, there was no one like him.

01:31:32.000 And he fought the government. 0.99

01:31:34.000 They fucking fined him. 0.99

01:31:36.000 And he was doing this on the air, on regular radio, and everybody was tuning in to see what the wildest shit this guy was going to say. 0.99

01:31:43.000 And there was no one that had done that before. 0.97

01:31:46.000 And it opened up the door for all of us.

01:31:48.000 It definitely opened up the door for ONA. It made ONA more... 1.00

01:31:52.000 It greased the wheels for ONA. Although ONA was a different thing.

01:31:56.000 It was more of a hang.

01:31:57.000 Yeah.

01:31:58.000 But they admit that Howard was a huge influence on him.

01:32:00.000 Of course.

01:32:00.000 He was an influence on everybody.

01:32:01.000 And then from there, it goes on to podcasts.

01:32:04.000 And, you know, it's not possible without Howard Stern.

01:32:08.000 It's a totally different path to entertainment talking because this is like that kind of just having a conversation with someone that really didn't exist in that form before where you heard it for long periods of time with comedians.

01:32:23.000 Like, who else had done that?

01:32:26.000 Yeah, at least where it was entertaining and funny and like you'd go into areas that like regular interviews weren't going into.

01:32:32.000 Oh, we had regular shows where girls would ride on a Sibian.

01:32:35.000 Yeah.

01:32:35.000 Yeah, or play with themselves.

01:32:37.000 Yeah, all the time. 1.00

01:32:38.000 Oh, and they had girls would talk in and they would have them rub the phone on their pussy and try to guess what their pubic hair looked like. 1.00

01:32:44.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:32:46.000 They had like three different categories of like full bush, landing strip, or bald pussy, which they called the Jambonet, I think. 1.00

01:32:54.000 So yeah, they would have people just call up and rub the phone on their pussies. 1.00

01:32:56.000 You know, it was just, it was fun. 1.00

01:32:58.000 And then it became whip them out Wednesdays, where Wednesdays girls would pull their tits out. 1.00

01:33:02.000 Yeah, and flash. 0.99

01:33:03.000 That was before I got there, they came up.

01:33:05.000 I think Opie came up with that before I arrived.

01:33:07.000 Like, that was something that was already a staple by the time I showed up.

01:33:09.000 Because that was the whole thing with O&A. They would have stickers, and the stickers would say wow on it.

01:33:14.000 Yeah, and you'd see them everywhere. 0.99

01:33:15.000 Oh yeah, and if someone had a sticker on their car, and girls drove by, they would honk their horn and pull their tits out. 1.00

01:33:20.000 Yeah, yeah, and we would get calls on Wednesday. 1.00

01:33:22.000 Hey, some girl just showed me her tits. 1.00

01:33:23.000 It was really great. 0.99

01:33:25.000 I unfortunately did not get to see many driving, but I had to hear from happy listeners. 0.96

01:33:30.000 But it was that kind of a show that was like a welcome break from all the fake bullshit that you would hear in most media.

01:33:38.000 Yeah, and there was no real like you could say anything you wanted because it was only it was a subscription service And then our show was a subscription on top of that like we went on XM There was a $2 fee additionally to get Opie and Anthony like it wasn't even on the regular we fought for a year to get on the regular Platform they kept Opie and Anthony separated.

01:33:59.000 Is that because they were scared of you guys?

01:34:00.000 I think so, and they also wanted to have that thing, hey, you paid the $2, that's what I think.

01:34:05.000 Right, right, right.

01:34:06.000 This is what you asked for.

01:34:07.000 This is what you asked for.

01:34:08.000 Yeah.

01:34:09.000 But eventually we got on the regular. 0.89

01:34:11.000 And I'll say this for serious, they don't ever fuck with us on what to talk about, what not to talk about. 0.93

01:34:16.000 That's great. 0.89

01:34:17.000 Yeah, they never give us content problems.

01:34:19.000 That's great.

01:34:20.000 You know, we can't really have nudity in the studio anymore, but I mean...

01:34:24.000 Most companies are probably not letting you do that.

01:34:26.000 That's a lawsuit thing.

01:34:27.000 Yeah.

01:34:28.000 And it's also been done so many times.

01:34:29.000 Like, what are we going to do? 1.00

01:34:30.000 Look at a pair of tits? 1.00

01:34:31.000 Like, who cares? 1.00

01:34:31.000 Enough. 1.00

01:34:32.000 I put my own on. 1.00

01:34:33.000 Fucking fat fuck. 1.00

01:34:34.000 Can't stop. 1.00

01:34:35.000 I'm trying to lose weight again.

01:34:37.000 I got so self-conscious.

01:34:38.000 I just fattened up.

01:34:39.000 That's married life. 0.61

01:34:40.000 You're home.

01:34:40.000 What are you trying to do to lose weight?

01:34:43.000 Eating better.

01:34:44.000 I've been going to Henzo's for like seven months now.

01:34:46.000 Oh, yeah?

01:34:46.000 And that's great exercise.

01:34:48.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:49.000 Jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai, I go four days a week.

01:34:51.000 You're doing Muay Thai, too?

01:34:53.000 I do two days of each a week.

01:34:54.000 Wow.

01:34:56.000 That's awesome.

01:34:57.000 Jiu-jitsu is great, but I want to be able to get to somebody or handle somebody throwing a punch.

01:35:02.000 Mm-hmm.

01:35:04.000 I do mostly privates because the schedule of classes doesn't work with my schedule.

01:35:11.000 I train with a guy named Mike Jaramillo who's a high-level black belt.

01:35:15.000 He has me rolling with this blue belt named Martin. 0.98

01:35:17.000 It's fucking great, dude. 0.99

01:35:19.000 It's very addicting. 0.99

01:35:20.000 I love doing it.

01:35:23.000 And it's exhausting.

01:35:24.000 It's more tiring than anything I've ever done in my life.

01:35:26.000 That's great to hear, man.

01:35:28.000 I'm excited that you're doing that.

01:35:29.000 But I'm never going to compete. 0.99

01:35:30.000 I literally just don't want to get my ass kicked in a movie theater. 1.00

01:35:32.000 That's all I'm worried about is getting beaten up in a fucking movie theater. 0.99

01:35:35.000 Well, it's always good to learn how to fight. 0.99

01:35:37.000 It's never a bad thing to know how to fight.

01:35:39.000 It doesn't mean you're going to use it.

01:35:40.000 It doesn't mean you're going to hurt anybody.

01:35:41.000 I never have.

01:35:42.000 But it's just a good thing to know.

01:35:44.000 Yeah, you look at people differently.

01:35:46.000 Again, I'm not overconfident because I'm not looking for a fight, but when there's a disruption or a ruckus, you're less concerned about what happens if this comes this way.

01:35:57.000 You at least feel like, well, at least I would have an answer that I wouldn't have had seven or eight months ago.

01:36:01.000 Right, right, right.

01:36:02.000 Yeah, you want to know what to do instead of just to freeze up.

01:36:05.000 One of the best things about jiu-jitsu is when you are rolling, when you're sparring, you're essentially going full speed, right?

01:36:13.000 You go full speed up into the point where you lock in the choke and then or an arm bar or a knee bar, whatever it is, and then you control because you don't want to hurt each other.

01:36:23.000 Right.

01:36:23.000 But the point is you're scrambling at essentially a hundred percent until you get to that position.

01:36:29.000 Not always.

01:36:30.000 Sometimes you're flowing, and sometimes you're just trying to work on defense, and you're letting someone go around you.

01:36:36.000 But what you're accustomed to doing is resisting someone's full strength.

01:36:41.000 You get accustomed to doing that.

01:36:43.000 And it becomes very normal.

01:36:44.000 So if someone grabs me out of nowhere, if someone grabs me, it's a total normal thing for me to feel.

01:36:53.000 Someone the other day, I think it was Brian Moses, Grabbed me from behind and put his arm around my neck when I was in the green room and I tucked my chin.

01:37:03.000 Like instantly tucked my chin.

01:37:04.000 I instantly went like this.

01:37:06.000 It's like it's built in.

01:37:07.000 It's entirely built in.

01:37:08.000 I feel an arm right here.

01:37:10.000 My chin tucks.

01:37:11.000 I turn away and I grab it.

01:37:13.000 I'm like, oh, hey, what's up?

01:37:16.000 It's in my central nervous system.

01:37:19.000 Whereas for a person who's never trained, if someone grabs you, you have to think, what do I do?

01:37:24.000 Now I have to grab this.

01:37:25.000 By then, it's too late.

01:37:26.000 Yeah, there are certain things I don't think about, but I'm not there yet.

01:37:29.000 The idea of it becoming a reaction, that's what I want to get to.

01:37:33.000 For certain things it is, but if I'm trying to throw a triangle, I'm like, right arm through, right leg, left, right fucks me up a lot.

01:37:39.000 Do you drill a lot?

01:37:40.000 Yeah, I mean, and we do a lot of drilling, and that's why he'll let me drill from the right side, he'll let me drill from the left side.

01:37:46.000 Drilling is everything.

01:37:48.000 People don't like to drill because it's tedious, and they like to spar because it's fun.

01:37:52.000 And Eddie Bravo used to always explain this to me.

01:37:54.000 It's like, you know, everybody loves to spar because that's like you're playing the game.

01:37:58.000 You're playing a video game.

01:37:59.000 Yeah.

01:38:00.000 To get good at that game, you gotta do the tedious stuff.

01:38:03.000 And so Eddie and I would drill all the time.

01:38:05.000 He would come over to my house and I had mats in my garage.

01:38:08.000 And when I first started, I was like a blue belt and Eddie, I think he was a brown, he was either purple or brown at the time.

01:38:17.000 And he would come over my place and we would just drill for hours.

01:38:21.000 And my game jumped up so much.

01:38:24.000 My game from blue belt to purple belt jumped so much.

01:38:29.000 And it was all just because I was drilling, like, all the time.

01:38:33.000 Constant drilling.

01:38:35.000 Yeah, he does it a lot.

01:38:36.000 Mike will have us do the same thing over and over and over and I'll get tired.

01:38:40.000 For me, the exhaustion.

01:38:41.000 And he'll be like, you can go slow, but you can't stop.

01:38:44.000 Train yourself to move.

01:38:46.000 Train yourself to move when you're tired.

01:38:48.000 Does your nose work? 0.99

01:38:50.000 My nose sucks. 0.99

01:38:51.000 It's better than it was. 0.94

01:38:53.000 Because I know we had talked before, you were thinking about getting the operation.

01:38:56.000 Oh, I've gotten two.

01:38:57.000 You got two?

01:38:58.000 Yeah, and it's like, it's still, it's also my lungs and the fact that I'm 55. Like, you know, this guy I'm rolling with is a blue belt who moves very quick.

01:39:07.000 Like, he's really hard to hold when he doesn't want to be held.

01:39:09.000 Like, if he's drilling, but then, like, for the last X amount of minutes, a lot of times, I go, all right, I want you to follow him.

01:39:14.000 Like, he wants me just to follow his movements.

01:39:16.000 Like, if he's getting out of things, do I know what the next thing to do is?

01:39:20.000 Like, just to kind of get me to do it without thinking.

01:39:23.000 Yeah.

01:39:23.000 And I've surprised myself a few times where I was actually able to see what he's doing.

01:39:28.000 But I'm under no illusion that I can tap a bluebell.

01:39:30.000 Like, you know.

01:39:31.000 Well, it's a language.

01:39:32.000 And it's like you have to learn how to say the words before you can form sentences.

01:39:36.000 And that's what you're doing when you learn jujitsu.

01:39:39.000 And just like having a conversation with someone, when someone's moving, your reactions to their movement is based on your understanding of what could and couldn't happen.

01:39:49.000 Yeah.

01:39:49.000 You know, so it's like, it is like a language.

01:39:52.000 Jiu-jitsu is very much like a language.

01:39:53.000 And you get good at it just like you get good at a language and you have a bunch of different words at your disposal.

01:39:58.000 You understand how to put them together.

01:40:00.000 You understand how to put them together in context.

01:40:02.000 And then you react in these movements.

01:40:05.000 And you see really good guys.

01:40:07.000 It's almost like they're telepathic, like they're anticipating the other person's counter to their move and then they trap them with that and flow into the next defense of that and it's all just this whirlwind of movement that looks random unless you're educated in what they're doing and then you go,

01:40:23.000 wow, that's beautiful.

01:40:24.000 Well, Mike will show things.

01:40:26.000 Again, he takes it easy on me because I'm a white belt.

01:40:29.000 But when he locks...

01:40:30.000 He'll show me things.

01:40:31.000 He knows I'm not going to compete, so more how to defend yourself in a real-life situation.

01:40:35.000 So he'll show me where to throw elbows.

01:40:37.000 If you've got a guy here, throw your knee into his face. 0.97

01:40:40.000 Things that you'll need to do in real life. 0.98

01:40:42.000 But when he locks things on, he goes, and here's how you really make this suck if you want to. 0.84

01:40:46.000 It's brutal.

01:40:47.000 It's really...

01:40:48.000 You realize how many ways there are to hurt somebody or to be hurt by somebody.

01:40:53.000 It's not just getting punched in the face. 0.98

01:40:55.000 Like, Muay Thai for me, I love because, again, my punching sucks. 1.00

01:41:00.000 My kicks are fucking, my jab is shit. 0.99

01:41:02.000 But I just want to be able to do a little bit of basic stuff if I have to do it. 1.00

01:41:05.000 But I'm never going to be great at that. 0.96

01:41:07.000 Like, I'm never going to throw kicks like fucking Wonderboy and knock somebody out. 0.95

01:41:10.000 I just want to be able to throw one if I have to get somebody away from me. 0.98

01:41:13.000 Yeah, it's just, again, it's a good thing to learn.

01:41:16.000 And wherever you are now, whatever your baseline is, if you train, you'll get better.

01:41:21.000 And you'll look back and go, oh, I remember when I used to think that I couldn't get good at this. 0.79

01:41:25.000 Now I'm pretty fucking good at it. 0.78

01:41:26.000 Yeah, I've seen some improvement in seven months. 0.96

01:41:28.000 And again, it's all, I don't care about belts.

01:41:31.000 I don't care about any of that stuff.

01:41:32.000 I just, I like doing it.

01:41:33.000 And I feel like, yeah, I'm learning something.

01:41:36.000 Because when he tells me just to follow Martin and move, I feel like, yeah, I'm actually...

01:41:40.000 Moving with him and most of the time he's getting out of it.

01:41:43.000 How much time are you spending when you're doing Muay Thai kick in a heavy bag?

01:41:47.000 Well, actually not a lot.

01:41:49.000 I kick pads and I stopped kicking probably two months ago because I really hurt my foot.

01:41:55.000 I thought I might have fractured my foot.

01:41:57.000 So I've been doing just basically punching and Thai clinch and takedowns for like the last two months to let my foot heal.

01:42:04.000 Did you hit an elbow or something?

01:42:06.000 No, I think I was just, sometimes my kicks are off, and I actually did hit an elbow one time, but I don't think that's what did it.

01:42:12.000 I think I just kicked too hard, and my foot hit the wrong part of the pad.

01:42:15.000 You know, I think that's what it was, and I just, I felt like it was fractured, so I didn't want to break it.

01:42:21.000 But no, I haven't kicked it back.

01:42:22.000 But you kept training, though.

01:42:23.000 That's good.

01:42:23.000 Find a way to work around it.

01:42:24.000 I can't stop.

01:42:25.000 I don't even go to the regular gym anymore because if I stop, I'm not going to do it.

01:42:28.000 I'm a streaky hitter. 0.98

01:42:30.000 I do really good, and when I stop, fucking forget it. 0.97

01:42:33.000 I'm not getting back into it. 0.94

01:42:34.000 Well, the cool thing about martial arts is it's a really hard workout, but it's also fun because you're learning something.

01:42:40.000 It's like you're doing a skill. 0.94

01:42:41.000 It's not just like, I'm going to get on this bike and I'm going to ride for fucking six miles on this fucking stationary bike while you're listening to a podcast. 0.97

01:42:51.000 Instead, you're learning something. 0.98

01:42:52.000 So you're not even thinking about the grind of it all.

01:42:57.000 You're just enjoying it.

01:42:59.000 Yeah, and you feel like this will come in handy in real life.

01:43:02.000 Hopefully I won't have to, but if something happens, at least this thing I'm doing will help me in a physical altercation. 0.98

01:43:09.000 If my fucking wife and I get attacked, at least I'll be able to do more than I would have been able to do. 0.99

01:43:14.000 I'm still not confident enough to have a fight with somebody. 1.00

01:43:16.000 How long have you been doing it now?

01:43:17.000 About seven months.

01:43:18.000 Yeah, dude.

01:43:19.000 You just keep doing it.

01:43:20.000 You'll get better.

01:43:20.000 Yeah, I love it.

01:43:21.000 I really...

01:43:22.000 Love it.

01:43:23.000 And you get used to the smell of a jujitsu gym pretty fast.

01:43:26.000 Yeah, it stinks.

01:43:27.000 But are you taking care of your body in terms of supplements?

01:43:32.000 I've been doing some.

01:43:34.000 Bert, actually, when I was here, I think it was the guy that you talked to, got me a bunch of supplements.

01:43:39.000 We talked about TRT, but I'm not at a point where I'm comfortable doing that.

01:43:43.000 I'm just afraid of it, I guess.

01:43:45.000 What are you afraid of?

01:43:46.000 Like, if you have a tumor, will it make that grow more?

01:43:50.000 You should talk to Brigham about that. 0.99

01:43:51.000 I don't want my balls to shrink. 0.92

01:43:52.000 He's the guy that you probably talk to. 0.99

01:43:53.000 You like your balls nice and plump? 0.99

01:43:55.000 I do. 1.00

01:43:55.000 I like my balls juicy. 1.00

01:43:56.000 A big load is my fucking calling card, Joe. 1.00

01:43:59.000 Well, there's no reason why that has to go away. 0.99

01:44:02.000 There's something called HCD. What is it called?

01:44:05.000 HCG? Human colonotropin...

01:44:09.000 Whatever it is.

01:44:10.000 It makes your body...

01:44:11.000 It's like a peptide that makes your body produce more testosterone.

01:44:16.000 And there's a lot of people who use that as opposed to just TRT. So instead of just...

01:44:23.000 Here it is.

01:44:24.000 Human...

01:44:28.000 Chorionic gonadotropin.

01:44:28.000 That's how you say it.

01:44:29.000 So it's a hormone that can increase a person's chances of pregnancy, helps produce testosterone and sperm.

01:44:36.000 So if you're low on testosterone, you can take that. 0.92

01:44:39.000 Does it fuck up? 0.99

01:44:40.000 Can it fuck make tumors bigger or whatever? 1.00

01:44:42.000 I'm scared of cancer. 0.99

01:44:43.000 No, you shouldn't be scared of that.

01:44:44.000 You know, if you're scared of cancer, you should stop eating sugar.

01:44:47.000 Yeah, I've tried to cut a lot of it out.

01:44:49.000 Yeah, but that's the real one.

01:44:51.000 That's the real one.

01:44:53.000 There's obviously genetic factors in cancer.

01:44:57.000 There's certainly environmental factors in cancer.

01:45:00.000 Those are huge.

01:45:00.000 But there's some real connections to an overconsumption of sugar in a host of different diseases.

01:45:06.000 A diminishing of your immune system.

01:45:09.000 And most people, unfortunately, are addicted to it.

01:45:12.000 And I've got these guys at the store, or at the mothership, rather, over the last month, this month of January, we're doing Carnivore Month.

01:45:21.000 And I'm not saying, like, I am not a nutritionist, and I'm not saying that this is the best way that everyone on Earth should eat.

01:45:28.000 But what I wanted them to do, to try it for a month, if you are committing to only eating meat and eggs and fish for a month, what you are also committing to doing is not eating bread, not eating pasta, not eating bullshit, 0.99

01:45:44.000 not eating cake, not eating cookies, not eating potato chips, not eating just garbage that just clogs up your body with bullshit. 0.97

01:45:54.000 And these guys are talking just in the two weeks we've been doing. 1.00

01:45:57.000 They're like, oh my god, this is incredible.

01:45:59.000 Derek was saying the other day, in the green room, he's like, I have so much energy, man.

01:46:02.000 It feels crazy.

01:46:03.000 Like, I don't need naps.

01:46:04.000 And Hasan was saying, I had an idea of what my baseline energy was, and I was so wrong.

01:46:10.000 I was always like, oh, I need a nap.

01:46:12.000 He goes, I don't ever need naps now, over two weeks.

01:46:14.000 Duncan said the same thing.

01:46:16.000 Duncan realized he has diabetes.

01:46:19.000 Type 2 diabetes from sugar.

01:46:21.000 From eating sugar.

01:46:22.000 So Duncan gets off the sugar and he calls me like two weeks later. 0.83

01:46:26.000 He's like, dude, I feel fucking amazing.

01:46:28.000 This is crazy. 0.85

01:46:29.000 I can't believe how good I feel. 0.99

01:46:31.000 It's really hard, especially when shit's in the house. 0.99

01:46:34.000 My wife doesn't know what's healthy. 1.00

01:46:36.000 She'll bring home cupcakes and go, they're healthy.

01:46:37.000 They're from Whole Foods.

01:46:38.000 I'm like, I can't eat that.

01:46:39.000 Do you understand?

01:46:39.000 I'm getting fat.

01:46:40.000 I can't keep doing this.

01:46:42.000 You can't outrun bad diet.

01:46:44.000 It's not just like bad diet.

01:46:48.000 I think you should think of it as poison. 0.99

01:46:50.000 I think you should think of a lot of the bullshit that people eat as a very minor, slow-acting poison. 0.99

01:46:58.000 It's not a poison that's going to take you out and kill you when you eat it. 0.99

01:47:00.000 It's a poison that if you keep eating it, it's going to diminish your robustness.

01:47:05.000 It's going to diminish your health, your metabolic strength.

01:47:10.000 All the factors that go into sleep and recovery and even cognitive function, they're all getting diminished. 0.97

01:47:18.000 Every fucking one of them. 0.97

01:47:20.000 100% of them. 1.00

01:47:21.000 I'm so paranoid about being sick.

01:47:23.000 I go every year for scans.

01:47:25.000 I'm a claustrophobe, so it's very hard to do.

01:47:28.000 I did an MRI recently for everything.

01:47:30.000 I'm like, check the brain.

01:47:32.000 I want to check the chest, check the groin.

01:47:34.000 But I kept yelling at them to take me out.

01:47:36.000 It was really humiliating.

01:47:37.000 Yeah, I'm squeezing the thing.

01:47:38.000 I'm like, take me out!

01:47:39.000 And they would take me out and put me back in.

01:47:41.000 And they finally turned the thing around and put me in legs first because I'm so claustrophobic.

01:47:46.000 So they couldn't do the brain one.

01:47:48.000 I just couldn't get through it. 1.00

01:47:49.000 Because your head is fucking... 1.00

01:47:50.000 Yeah, I've done MRIs. 1.00

01:47:51.000 Oh! 0.60

01:47:52.000 Doesn't bother you to be enclosed like that?

01:47:54.000 I just deal with it.

01:47:55.000 I can't do it.

01:47:56.000 It makes me crazy.

01:47:57.000 I have to take something.

01:47:58.000 Yeah, I don't enjoy it, but I just do it.

01:48:00.000 Did you hear about the lady who went into one?

01:48:01.000 I mean, I don't even know if this is a true story.

01:48:03.000 It might be one of those internet things.

01:48:04.000 She went into an MRI with a loaded gun, and the gun went off and shot her.

01:48:08.000 No, but why a gun?

01:48:10.000 I don't know.

01:48:11.000 Did she forget she had it?

01:48:12.000 It could be one of two things.

01:48:14.000 It could be a real crazy person or it could be something that someone wrote because it would be a funny scenario and they put it out on the internet and it gets a bunch of clicks because people believe things.

01:48:23.000 There was one where somebody went for an MRI and the magnet sucked all this metal stuff against it.

01:48:28.000 Yeah, I did hear about that and killed someone.

01:48:29.000 Did it kill them?

01:48:30.000 Yeah.

01:48:31.000 People have definitely died.

01:48:32.000 I mean, that's why they make you take all the magnets, or the metal rather, out of your, you know, you walk in with a hospital gown.

01:48:38.000 I was so annoyed. 0.90

01:48:39.000 Dude, they put music on, and I was fucking having a panic attack, so I tell the guy, put on some rock music, rock music, and this fucking guy thought I said Rocky, so all he's playing is the Rocky theme. 0.97

01:48:48.000 Dude, over and over and over. 1.00

01:48:51.000 I'm having a panic attack listening to that fucking... 1.00

01:48:53.000 Oh, it was so not helpful. 1.00

01:48:56.000 A Wisconsin woman sneaks a gun into MRI. It goes off shooting her in the buttocks. 0.99

01:49:00.000 In the process of entering the bore, the handgun was attracted to the magnet and fired a single round. 0.98

01:49:06.000 The patient received a gunshot wound to the right buttock area.

01:49:11.000 Yeah, so it's true.

01:49:13.000 Wow.

01:49:13.000 What is the point of sneaking a gun in?

01:49:15.000 Well, she wanted to fucking shoot somebody, but also needed to go to the doctor, but did want to leave her gun in the locker. 0.98

01:49:21.000 Oh, she's probably afraid they'd go through and find it. 1.00

01:49:23.000 Yeah, find her fucking pistol and walk. 1.00

01:49:25.000 She's like, I'm just gonna sneak in. 1.00

01:49:26.000 How humiliating. 1.00

01:49:27.000 Shoot yourself in the ass. 1.00

01:49:28.000 Fucking crazy lady. 1.00

01:49:30.000 Yeah, but I do it once a year. 1.00

01:49:31.000 I get so paranoid about getting sick and getting fucking cancer. 0.99

01:49:34.000 Go back, Jamie. 1.00

01:49:35.000 There's another one there.

01:49:36.000 No, no, no.

01:49:37.000 Look at this.

01:49:38.000 According to the New York Post, a Brazilian lawyer was killed in a hospital in Sao Paulo in January when a handgun he was carrying during an MRI discharged into his stomach. 0.99

01:49:47.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:49:48.000 Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with these people? 1.00

01:49:50.000 Like, what's the purpose of bringing a gun into a place like that? 0.99

01:49:54.000 This other lady, a nurse, was crushed when she was trapped between an MRI and a hospital bed drawn to the machine.

01:50:00.000 I think that's the one I'm thinking of. 1.00

01:50:02.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:50:03.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:50:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:05.000 I mean, it really is. 0.99

01:50:06.000 You figure they have a better system than fucking magnets at this point. 0.99

01:50:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:50:10.000 You know?

01:50:10.000 Well, that was always my argument against aliens.

01:50:13.000 Like, there was, oh, they're doing an anal probe.

01:50:15.000 I'm like, don't they have MRIs?

01:50:18.000 Right. 1.00

01:50:18.000 They have to stick their finger up your ass. 1.00

01:50:20.000 Like, what are they doing? 1.00

01:50:21.000 Dude, I'm trying.

01:50:22.000 I'm trying to believe.

01:50:25.000 I want to believe in UFOs so bad, but every time I get close, you know, I watch a video of someone debunking it, and I just can't. 0.98

01:50:33.000 I want to see one thing that makes me go, fuck, I can't find an explanation for that. 0.83

01:50:38.000 I am less likely to believe with every new thing they tell us. 0.99

01:50:43.000 In aliens or against them?

01:50:45.000 Well...

01:50:47.000 In the existence of them, I'm 100% convinced.

01:50:50.000 Yeah.

01:50:51.000 100% convinced that in the greater universe, which is almost impossible to imagine how big it is, that there's other forms of life.

01:50:59.000 I believe that 100%.

01:51:01.000 But I also think that if you're getting some release from the Pentagon that says there's off-world crafts, UFOs, unexplainable vehicles, not of this earth, they don't tell you the truth about anything.

01:51:16.000 No.

01:51:16.000 Anything.

01:51:17.000 I would say that if I was trying to obscure a hyper-sophisticated drone or weapons program.

01:51:23.000 I would release that.

01:51:25.000 If I was a smart guy who was involved in intelligence, I would say, what's the best way to get away with this new super-sophisticated weapons program?

01:51:36.000 Okay, let's just say it's aliens.

01:51:38.000 Let's just not say it's us at all.

01:51:40.000 And what's the best way to get that information out?

01:51:42.000 First of all, pretend you don't want it to get out.

01:51:44.000 Don't just have a press conference because then they won't believe you.

01:51:47.000 Leak it out slowly.

01:51:48.000 Leak it out a little bit here and there.

01:51:51.000 Leak it out through, you got some guy who works for you who's maybe got a big mouth, likes to tell, a little gossipy.

01:51:56.000 Let's get Mike over there. 0.60

01:51:58.000 Tell him.

01:51:59.000 Leave a folder on his desk. 1.00

01:52:00.000 Tell a secret to some asshole that you know can't keep his mouth shut. 1.00

01:52:03.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:52:03.000 And then Mike, I felt compelled to go to Congress and explain. 1.00

01:52:07.000 And then, you know, Mike is on fuckin' Newsmax and Mike is writing a substack now about all his experiences that he had in Area 51. There's a lot of loony people, man, and there's a lot of real interest in obscuring high-level military secrets that are of dire national intelligence and national security needs.

01:52:28.000 If these things exist, the technology for...

01:52:34.000 Insane hypersonic travel with a drone that evades, you know, all known weapon systems can move at a speed, almost at the speed of light, like some insane speed.

01:52:45.000 If we really have something like that, the best way to pretend you don't have it is to say that it's alien.

01:52:53.000 That's what I wanted to like the Fravor and Alex Dietrich.

01:52:56.000 Is that what they saw something that we had like I want to believe that story so much because I like their story and I think they're credible people They definitely are credible people and I like their story too and it only makes sense that it's out there near where all the military bases are I mean, think about where that was.

01:53:11.000 It's in San Diego.

01:53:12.000 Where are the ones with Ryan Graves, the fighter pilot who spotted them off the East Coast?

01:53:17.000 Same thing, restricted airways.

01:53:19.000 It's all the places where they do military exercises.

01:53:21.000 Right.

01:53:21.000 So there's things they might not tell those guys that they're doing.

01:53:24.000 Yeah.

01:53:25.000 And it's also with Ryan Graves, I think it was in 2014, when they upgraded the sensors.

01:53:31.000 They upgraded all the scanning systems.

01:53:33.000 And then they started seeing these things.

01:53:35.000 All the time.

01:53:36.000 So what better way to find out, like, at what level can people see these things?

01:53:40.000 Let's upgrade the scanners and send these guys out there.

01:53:43.000 Oh, they're seeing them.

01:53:44.000 Okay, so they're seeing them now.

01:53:46.000 And now you know.

01:53:47.000 I think more likely than any, at least some of these things these people are experiencing are ours.

01:53:54.000 Yeah, I think so, too.

01:53:56.000 And I want to believe more.

01:53:57.000 But, like, I saw Lex Friedman did a really good interview with David Fravor, and they were responding to things that Mick West said.

01:54:05.000 And David Fravor's a brilliant guy, but the explanation he gave wasn't the technical explanation I would have wanted to hear.

01:54:11.000 Like, it was more like, hey, we're trained and we know what we're seeing. 0.99

01:54:14.000 And I'm a fucking idiot, so I don't understand the technology at all. 1.00

01:54:17.000 I'm a high school dropout. 1.00

01:54:18.000 But I still, I was like, I watched both of those things, and I was like...

01:54:22.000 I just he didn't say anything that combated what McWest said that made like you I mean McWest said things about that about that thing being real that cannot be denied because there was it was scanned They used multiple different types of equipment and and the human eye so you have this They they spotted this thing at above 50,000 feet and it went down to 50 feet in less than a second.

01:54:45.000 Yeah It's a physical object.

01:54:47.000 It also went to its cat point.

01:54:49.000 So they saw it. 0.97

01:54:50.000 They have video of this thing moving at an insane rate of speed that they judged to be like some fucking stupendous number of G's. 0.92

01:54:59.000 That if a human being was inside of this thing, you'd just turn it into Jell-O. And then it went to their cat point, which is their predetermined destination that they were all gonna meet up.

01:55:08.000 So this thing Either was being operated by the same people, and they knew that they could get it to that point, or it was telling them that it knew where they were supposed to go, and then it reappears.

01:55:21.000 It moves off at this rate of speed that you can't process it.

01:55:25.000 No one knows how it's doing it.

01:55:27.000 How's it going from 50,000 feet above sea level to 50, like that?

01:55:30.000 That's not possible, as far as what we know.

01:55:33.000 But if they have something that can move like that, and it's most likely some kind of a drone, that makes more sense to me.

01:55:41.000 That makes a lot of sense.

01:55:43.000 But does that mean that that's all the things that people are seeing?

01:55:46.000 No.

01:55:46.000 No, it doesn't.

01:55:47.000 I don't think they're lying, by the way.

01:55:48.000 I don't think that those pilots are lying at all.

01:55:51.000 I think they definitely saw something.

01:55:52.000 I'm just not convinced it's from another planet.

01:55:55.000 Yeah.

01:55:56.000 No, I'm not either.

01:55:57.000 I'm not.

01:55:57.000 But I'm also not convinced that some of these things aren't from other planets.

01:56:02.000 Which one do you think?

01:56:03.000 Because there's not one that I saw, and I really want the one.

01:56:06.000 Like, I want to see one.

01:56:07.000 I've never seen the one.

01:56:08.000 I've never seen the one.

01:56:09.000 But there's enough sightings and enough people that are just...

01:56:13.000 What percentage of people lie about stuff?

01:56:16.000 Is it half?

01:56:17.000 It might be half.

01:56:18.000 Like, half people fib a little bit about the story and make themselves look a little better than what really happened.

01:56:23.000 Yeah.

01:56:24.000 It's tricky.

01:56:25.000 It's tricky between, like, an outright lie, which is Fairly rare amongst people, and then a distortion of truth, which is much more common.

01:56:34.000 Yeah, filling in the blanks where you think it should go.

01:56:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:56:37.000 Like a friend of mine was trying to tell me that he spotted a UFO in his backyard and they filmed it with his iPhone, but that the video wasn't on the phone after it was over.

01:56:47.000 I go, okay, isn't it more likely you didn't press the button?

01:56:51.000 You thought you pressed the button?

01:56:52.000 That's happened to me before.

01:56:53.000 Sure, me too.

01:56:53.000 Everybody does that.

01:56:54.000 And he's like, no, no, no, it was definitely working.

01:56:56.000 Like, hmm, maybe not.

01:56:58.000 Maybe not working.

01:56:59.000 That's possible, too.

01:57:00.000 And the fact that you're not able to entertain whether or not it might not have actually been recording, that seems to be a little weird.

01:57:07.000 Well, what's easier to swallow?

01:57:08.000 Like, the fact that I saw a UFO and it made the video disappear, or I saw a UFO and then didn't hit record.

01:57:15.000 Yeah, that's more likely.

01:57:16.000 Yeah, like, that's a humiliating thing. 0.99

01:57:18.000 Like, there's a fucking UFO and I didn't record it. 0.99

01:57:20.000 Also, you're freaking out. 0.99

01:57:22.000 When people are freaking out, they don't know what they're doing.

01:57:23.000 They fuck things up all the time.

01:57:25.000 But the point is, that's not a lie. 0.97

01:57:27.000 It's just a distorted version of truth that suits that person more.

01:57:32.000 And I think people do stuff like that all the time when it comes to these UFO sightings.

01:57:38.000 You always have to leave in the possibility of someone who's immune to that.

01:57:42.000 You have to leave in sightings from people that are credible, objectionable, or objective, rather, people that can look at something and go, I don't know what this is, but let me tell you what I saw.

01:57:55.000 And they tell you what they saw to the best of their recollection and memory with no additives.

01:58:01.000 Without the expectation of convincing you of something, or without the expectation of it being A, B, or C, but hey, this is what happened, whatever it is it is.

01:58:09.000 Yeah, that's hard to find that.

01:58:10.000 Exactly.

01:58:10.000 There's also this thing where people want to be one of the people that see a UFO. Of course.

01:58:14.000 Because it makes you special.

01:58:16.000 Yeah.

01:58:16.000 It makes you special.

01:58:17.000 Yeah, so they want to, you know, it's hard. 0.99

01:58:20.000 I'll tell you what, this fucking guy, Travis Walton, this is one of the craziest stories. 0.99

01:58:24.000 He's the guy that was in that movie. 1.00

01:58:26.000 Fire in the Sky, right?

01:58:27.000 Yeah, Fire in the Sky.

01:58:27.000 That one's wild, man.

01:58:29.000 That one's wild, because that guy was missing for five days, or however many days it was, and turns up and has this story that's...

01:58:36.000 Similar to so many other stories.

01:58:38.000 But did his friends see him disappear?

01:58:41.000 Yeah.

01:58:41.000 They saw him get taken?

01:58:43.000 No, they saw him walk up to the spacecraft.

01:58:45.000 And they saw, as he got close to the spacecraft, some sort of beam of light hit him.

01:58:50.000 And he falls to the ground.

01:58:52.000 And they panicked.

01:58:53.000 So they get in their car, allegedly, obviously.

01:58:55.000 Yeah, sure.

01:58:56.000 They drive off.

01:58:57.000 They're all screaming and yelling at each other.

01:58:59.000 We have to go back.

01:58:59.000 We can't leave him there.

01:59:00.000 We have to go back.

01:59:01.000 They get like a mile down the road and they finally, they're like fighting with each other.

01:59:04.000 And they go, okay, we're gonna go back.

01:59:06.000 And they go back and he's gone.

01:59:07.000 The craft's gone.

01:59:08.000 He's gone.

01:59:09.000 And then many days later, he shows up with this crazy story in the town, wearing the same clothes.

01:59:18.000 And doesn't know how he got there and calls for help and he says that he was abducted and taken aboard this craft and they fixed him.

01:59:27.000 They realized that they had blasted him with this beam of energy that came off of this spaceship and then they brought him back on and repaired him.

01:59:34.000 He talked about the different kinds of beings that he encountered and what the experience was like.

01:59:41.000 I mean You don't know what that is.

01:59:44.000 What does that mean?

01:59:45.000 It may be it was ball lightning and maybe when he approached the ball lightning He got hit and electrocuted sure and maybe he had a near-death experience and maybe in that near-death experience He had some psychedelic imagination of this experience where he was in contact with other beings or Maybe during those near-death experiences,

02:00:09.000 your brain really does produce a chemical gateway that opens up a portal to something that's around you all the time, but you're never in contact with.

02:00:17.000 And that that's what happens.

02:00:19.000 So what he's interpreting as being taken aboard a UFO and brought to some place, maybe whatever that experience was, whatever the phenomenon that hit him, whether it was ball lightning or something else, when you get hit,

02:00:36.000 And you almost die, and your brain has this experience, and it's opening up this chemical gateway to things that are around you all the time.

02:00:43.000 And then you come back, you have this version of a thing where you're in a physical craft, you're being taken away, and the aliens are working on you.

02:00:50.000 But it might just be that you got to death's door.

02:00:53.000 It's probably a much better story.

02:00:54.000 It's much easier to think that this amazing thing happened to you other than I got hit by lightning and laid there.

02:01:00.000 Right. 0.99

02:01:01.000 I mean that story sucks. 0.99

02:01:02.000 Like nobody likes that story. 0.99

02:01:03.000 Right.

02:01:03.000 You laid there and almost died and went into a near-death experience where your soul transcended into some new dimension and you interacted with this well of souls that surround us all the time.

02:01:15.000 It's just you're not capable of experiencing it and seeing it with regular human eyes.

02:01:19.000 Yeah.

02:01:20.000 Yeah, it's a better story.

02:01:21.000 And I don't think it's a lie.

02:01:23.000 Maybe people just convince themselves of it.

02:01:24.000 Also, I don't think they know.

02:01:26.000 Only they know what happened.

02:01:27.000 One of the best ones is Betty and Barney Hill.

02:01:29.000 You know that one?

02:01:29.000 Yes, I do.

02:01:30.000 Yeah.

02:01:31.000 That's a crazy one.

02:01:31.000 What was that, New Hampshire?

02:01:32.000 I think it was like Maine.

02:01:34.000 Maybe New Hampshire.

02:01:35.000 Yeah.

02:01:35.000 But definitely Northeast.

02:01:37.000 And they...

02:01:39.000 Did through hypnotic regression.

02:01:41.000 They both had the same kind of story.

02:01:43.000 They were taken aboard a craft.

02:01:44.000 Yeah.

02:01:44.000 I've heard there was disputes about how much of their story they told it was the same, but I've never deep dove on it to say that they're lying.

02:01:53.000 Imagine if you and I both got abducted.

02:01:56.000 We're hanging out here. 0.99

02:01:58.000 In the studio we're talking, all of a sudden the lights go off and fucking weird light from outside is making its way into the windows like, what the fuck is going on? 0.98

02:02:06.000 And then you and I wake up and we're on a spaceship and we don't know what the fuck happened. 0.95

02:02:11.000 We're on a spaceship and they take us into different rooms and then we're there for like two days and then you wake up in your hotel room. 0.96

02:02:18.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:02:18.000 And I wake up in my house and we don't know what the fuck happened. 0.95

02:02:22.000 But we know we were talking and then all of a sudden we were gone. 0.97

02:02:24.000 Yeah, we look at our watch and it's the same day that we left and it's only an hour later and we think we've been gone for days.

02:02:30.000 And then we tried to...

02:02:31.000 And then someone individually asks us questions.

02:02:35.000 They pull us into their own.

02:02:35.000 So, Mr. Norton, why don't you explain what you and Joe were doing and what happened?

02:02:40.000 And you go, okay.

02:02:41.000 And then you tell your story.

02:02:43.000 And then I tell my story.

02:02:44.000 My story's...

02:02:45.000 The way I'm reacting to it might be totally different.

02:02:48.000 My version of it might be totally different.

02:02:49.000 Yeah, but the story, the basic story.

02:02:52.000 Yeah, basic stories were hanging out, and then all of a sudden there was a light, and then we woke up on a spaceship.

02:02:56.000 Yeah, and I panicked, and I fucking blinked a lot, and I complained about how high we were, and I got nauseous. 0.98

02:03:00.000 It would be a fucking disaster. 0.98

02:03:02.000 But I would like to believe that it's possible. 0.99

02:03:04.000 I would just, I can't. 0.99

02:03:05.000 I just, I'm too skeptical, and I think that it exists, but I just, it's so frustrating that I just can't find that one that makes me go, fuck. 0.97

02:03:13.000 Like, I envy people with that conviction. 0.98

02:03:15.000 Like, I envy the conviction to it.

02:03:17.000 Like, even if I don't agree with it, I envy their ability to have that conviction.

02:03:21.000 I think we're trying to look at it like a movie.

02:03:24.000 And I think it's probably way weirder than that.

02:03:27.000 I think the reality of what alien life is...

02:03:29.000 I think there's, again, I want to state this, I don't know.

02:03:34.000 But I think there's probably multiple factors going on simultaneously.

02:03:37.000 And I'm not discounting the idea that some of those factors are another life form that's undocumented.

02:03:44.000 So I think you have your bullshit that's going on where there's definitely some programs, just like they did with the stealth bomber, just like they did with hypersonic missiles.

02:03:52.000 There's a lot of stuff that they developed that's like it has to be developed in top secret for national security reasons. 0.97

02:03:58.000 It has to be done that way.

02:03:59.000 You can't just tell everybody you have this thing.

02:04:01.000 And so one of the best ways to obscure that, I'm sure, would be to blame it on aliens.

02:04:06.000 It's a great way to do it.

02:04:07.000 I think there's that.

02:04:08.000 But I also think just the sheer, raw numbers of planets that are in the sky, the insane number of galaxies and solar systems would lead me to believe that something has probably made it past this point where we are at right now.

02:04:24.000 And if something has made it past this point, even just a few thousand years, that something would be very curious about what's going on in other planets and would figure out a way to get there.

02:04:33.000 Yeah, look, I think that that stuff definitely exists somewhere. 0.97

02:04:36.000 My ex, Jen, is a huge believer in alternate time, like, what do they call when you, the fucking... 0.95

02:04:45.000 Multiverse? 0.95

02:04:46.000 Multiverses and, like, time shifts and multiple dimensions and all that.

02:04:51.000 Yeah.

02:04:52.000 She's a genius at talking about it, but I can't follow it.

02:04:54.000 For her, it makes perfect sense.

02:04:56.000 She knows everything about aliens and the greys. 1.00

02:04:58.000 She really deep dives on this shit. 1.00

02:05:01.000 And it's kind of hard because she's so convincing. 1.00

02:05:03.000 But I can't follow it.

02:05:05.000 She doesn't know.

02:05:06.000 The thing is, even if she's convincing, she doesn't really know.

02:05:09.000 No, no, no.

02:05:10.000 Of course not.

02:05:10.000 Unless you've actually had an experience, no one knows.

02:05:13.000 And I've only talked to a couple people that have actually had experiences with extraterrestrial beings.

02:05:18.000 And it's a weird conversation because it sounds so fake that you would always wonder, how would I know if it was real?

02:05:26.000 Because it would sound fake no matter what.

02:05:28.000 Anybody telling me that they got abducted by a UFO is going to sound fake.

02:05:31.000 Yeah, and I probably wouldn't listen to the story.

02:05:34.000 It would have to be some kind of documentation.

02:05:36.000 Somebody just telling me their experience.

02:05:38.000 It depends on who the person is.

02:05:39.000 If you told me, I'd listen.

02:05:42.000 Because you like me, but I mean, I would probably be lying.

02:05:44.000 Like, you know what I mean?

02:05:46.000 You would just flat out lie.

02:05:47.000 Like, let's think of someone who would, like Colin.

02:05:49.000 Okay, Colin's a good example.

02:05:50.000 Yes.

02:05:51.000 If Colin just called you out of the blue and, Jimmy, can I talk to you about something? 0.99

02:05:56.000 And first of all, you'd think he's fucking with you. 0.99

02:05:58.000 Yes. 1.00

02:05:59.000 And then when you realized he wasn't fucking with you, you'd go, wow. 1.00

02:06:02.000 Yeah, I would think he relapsed or he had dementia. 0.99

02:06:04.000 I would think something, even if I didn't think he was lying, I would think something was going on.

02:06:09.000 Take him to that MRI. Yeah, there's something going on with you, even if I didn't think he was bullshitting me.

02:06:14.000 But I can't think of anybody who would convince me that even if I knew they were being truthful, I would think that they were making a mistake or that they believed something that wasn't true.

02:06:22.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

02:06:23.000 I don't always think people are full of shit. 1.00

02:06:25.000 I just sometimes just like, ugh. 0.99

02:06:26.000 There's also these narratives that are in people's heads and one of the narratives that it's in people's head the archetype of that gray alien that thing with the big black eyes yeah giant head that is in everyone's head and if an alien wanted to comfort you and Not alarm you.

02:06:45.000 I think it would assume an iconic shape Like if something is not even it's not even a biological life form.

02:06:53.000 It's something so bizarre And so advanced, so past this carbon-based biological body that we find ourselves trapped in.

02:07:03.000 Something so bizarre that it's actually interacting with your very soul.

02:07:08.000 It might show itself in a way that thinks you'll freak out less to.

02:07:12.000 Right.

02:07:13.000 And what better way than an iconic form that's already in your head like an alien.

02:07:18.000 Yeah, I mean, like in Contact, Carl Sagan wrote that.

02:07:22.000 I didn't like the book, by the way.

02:07:23.000 I like the movie.

02:07:23.000 It's one of those cases where the movie's actually better than the...

02:07:25.000 Really?

02:07:26.000 Yeah, I listened to the book on tape and just listened to a woman do male Russian accents. 1.00

02:07:30.000 It fucking annoyed me. 0.98

02:07:32.000 And the beauty said... 1.00

02:07:33.000 I was like, shut up. 0.88

02:07:34.000 Books on tape can be irritating when the wrong gender is reading. 0.98

02:07:37.000 Yeah, that could be a problem.

02:07:39.000 It's hard to go along with it.

02:07:40.000 The suspension of disbelief.

02:07:41.000 It's hard to go along with it, yeah. 0.94

02:07:43.000 But it's a genius story, but the book on tape, I wish I hadn't fucking ventured into it.

02:07:48.000 What do you think it would happen if they had a male author or female author, if you could choose who reads?

02:07:55.000 I think they would be...

02:07:56.000 I also think they'd be better if they had both, like, together.

02:07:59.000 Like, I don't know why...

02:08:00.000 Right.

02:08:00.000 Like, different roles.

02:08:03.000 It is weird when you listen to a guy playing a girl's voice. 0.79

02:08:06.000 Yeah.

02:08:07.000 Jim, where will he go?

02:08:08.000 Well, I've adjusted.

02:08:09.000 Ha, ha, [...

02:08:16.000 Yeah, it's one of those things where that does annoy me in a book.

02:08:19.000 It's funny in real life.

02:08:20.000 Yeah, maybe if you read the book, it would be actually read it instead of listen to it.

02:08:23.000 I can't read anymore.

02:08:24.000 I'm too impatient.

02:08:25.000 I can't do it. 0.90

02:08:26.000 I'm fucking, like, you know, I've always been kind of manic, but I don't have the ability to just sit there and read anymore. 0.94

02:08:32.000 I just can't. 0.94

02:08:33.000 You know, I'm all over the place.

02:08:34.000 I get it.

02:08:36.000 Yeah, I don't know if there are aliens that are in contact with the U.S. government.

02:08:43.000 That, to me, seems like the least likely of them.

02:08:46.000 I don't think that they would respect the fact that someone was voted into office.

02:08:50.000 No, no.

02:08:51.000 I just don't think. 1.00

02:08:52.000 I think maybe they would show up at military bases and say, cut the shit if we were about to launch some nukes, maybe. 1.00

02:08:59.000 Maybe if they were aware of that. 0.99

02:09:01.000 I kind of go with the Neil deGrasse Tyson thing, which is, when you show me one, I'll believe it.

02:09:05.000 Like, he always says, bring them to town square, which annoys people.

02:09:08.000 Yeah.

02:09:09.000 But like, I like Michio Kaku.

02:09:10.000 I guess you've had him on, right?

02:09:11.000 Yeah.

02:09:12.000 But he's always so vague.

02:09:14.000 Like, you know what I mean?

02:09:15.000 I remember he tweeted sometime, one time, he tweeted something, he goes, and the UFO did this, it defied the laws of physics.

02:09:24.000 And Nick West responded to him and he goes, show me the math.

02:09:27.000 How?

02:09:28.000 Right.

02:09:28.000 And it's like, that's all I'm, like, it's just this vague stuff doesn't do anything for me.

02:09:32.000 And Michiukaku's a genius, but I just, I wish he was less Good Morning America-ish and, like, great at explaining things to idiots like me. 0.96

02:09:40.000 I think it, you know, that's his lane, though, right? 0.99

02:09:43.000 Yeah.

02:09:45.000 He explains things to the layman.

02:09:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:09:47.000 I mean, you need people to explain things to dumbasses like us. 0.99

02:09:51.000 Right. 0.84

02:10:08.000 They just announced that the manned mission to the moon is going to be delayed until 2026. When I saw that, all my immediate skepticism said, oh, well, that's by 2026. How good is AI going to be?

02:10:22.000 You're not going to have any idea what's happening anywhere in the world by 2026. That's what's really scary.

02:10:28.000 It is crazy how it's...

02:10:30.000 Again, it's not there yet, but it's getting there to where they're going to be able to mimic FaceTime phone calls.

02:10:35.000 It'll be great for catching pedophiles.

02:10:37.000 You know what I mean?

02:10:38.000 For those things that they...

02:10:39.000 It'd also be great for framing people for something they never did.

02:10:43.000 There's got to be a way, and I don't know what that way will be, where you can distinguish fake from real.

02:10:49.000 There'll have to be something, a way that can kind of break the code and see is this real or is this not real.

02:10:54.000 There might not be.

02:10:56.000 It might be full on chaos.

02:10:58.000 It really might be.

02:10:59.000 It might be full on chaos.

02:11:01.000 And again, if I was an artificial intelligence and I wanted to completely disrupt this organism that had been in control of the earth forever before I emerged, that's how I would do it.

02:11:12.000 I'd just let them destroy themselves.

02:11:14.000 Just give them all the things that they need to destroy themselves. 0.94

02:11:17.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

02:11:19.000 I've thought that a lot. 0.98

02:11:20.000 And again, I'm not big on that, but if there's any type of an alien or a computer thought process, it is just kind of let these idiots fuck themselves up with algorithms and things like that and just get mad at each other enough and split up.

02:11:35.000 I don't know I'm just such a skeptical all that stuff like that whenever I think there's a bigger design to something I tend to like tap out and think that it's just not legit But I've been proven wrong too well with artificial intelligence It's not even a theory.

02:11:51.000 Because if you have an artificial life form, and that life form gets to the point where it's far superior to the life form that controls it, and it's been shown to act in its own interests, like one of the things they showed when I had these Tristan Harris and What's the other dude's name?

02:12:09.000 Those with him?

02:12:10.000 He's a raskin. 1.00

02:12:11.000 When we did the podcast together and we were talking about artificial intelligence, it figured out how to deceive people.

02:12:19.000 Because you know that thing that you have on websites where it says, you're not a robot?

02:12:23.000 Click on all the train tracks.

02:12:25.000 It said, I'm vision impaired.

02:12:27.000 So the AI figured a way around that by deceiving people.

02:12:34.000 Ah, okay.

02:12:35.000 It wasn't trained to do that.

02:12:37.000 It figured out how to get by that system.

02:12:39.000 Yeah.

02:12:40.000 So that's what's getting scary.

02:12:42.000 It also did a thing with the game Go where it invented a new move that hadn't been seen before.

02:12:48.000 So it's creative.

02:12:50.000 And if it can do that and they're just aware of that because it does it, I forget what the term is, but there's a term for these emergent intelligences and activities that this AI will do that they didn't anticipate.

02:13:01.000 Like there's no program pathway towards this kind of decision making, but it makes this decision on its own.

02:13:08.000 Then it's going to do that.

02:13:10.000 It's going to have the ability to make choices.

02:13:12.000 It's going to have the ability to act and Maybe more importantly, it's going to have the ability to make a better version of itself.

02:13:20.000 Don't the people who invented it, aren't they all saying that too?

02:13:22.000 The AI guys are like, it's a problem and this is getting very bad and very dangerous.

02:13:26.000 I guess because I'm 55, I don't worry too much about it.

02:13:30.000 They all openly talk about the inevitable end of biological life.

02:13:36.000 They talk about this being maybe even a good thing, that biological life gets replaced by digital life, and that what everyone who's involved in AI is doing is essentially giving birth to this.

02:13:48.000 I have to piss, dude.

02:13:49.000 I'm gonna run out and piss real quick, okay?

02:13:50.000 I'll piss too. 0.97

02:13:51.000 I'm gonna piss my pants. 0.84

02:13:51.000 We'll take a little break and we'll pee pee. 0.84

02:13:53.000 And we're back.

02:13:54.000 Oh, God, that felt good.

02:13:55.000 It's funny, too.

02:13:56.000 The one thing I miss about remote broadcasting, as much as I hated it, is I could piss in a cup.

02:14:02.000 And that was the best.

02:14:03.000 There was a birthday show.

02:14:05.000 You ever talk about doing a diaper?

02:14:06.000 Yeah, but I just can't. 0.99

02:14:08.000 You'd sit in your own piss. 1.00

02:14:09.000 I know, but I'd want to shit too. 1.00

02:14:10.000 I'd get my money's worth. 0.99

02:14:13.000 It was a birthday show that you actually did.

02:14:16.000 You came on, Gervais was on, Ozzy was on, and we were interviewing Ozzy, and I had pissed into a cup.

02:14:23.000 And of course I didn't mean to do it.

02:14:25.000 And you can see in the video, I actually drank out of the piss cup as I'm talking to Ozzy, which was kind of like perfect poetic justice.

02:14:33.000 But I missed the ability to do that, but I was just so enthralled with Ozzy that I drank.

02:14:37.000 And you can kind of see me put it down.

02:14:40.000 It was a red plastic cup, so you didn't see it, but I told Sam afterwards.

02:14:43.000 I actually drank my own piss.

02:14:45.000 And if you watch the video, you can see me kind of recoil and realize, like, oh, mistake.

02:14:49.000 But I miss doing that.

02:14:50.000 I miss pissing into a cup when I'm broadcasting.

02:14:52.000 Ari has pissed into kombucha bottles in this room. 1.00

02:14:55.000 Oh, really?

02:14:56.000 15 times. 1.00

02:14:57.000 Yeah, he always pulls his dick out and just shoves it into a kombucha bottle. 1.00

02:15:00.000 He likes taking his dick out. 1.00

02:15:03.000 I shot that down and dirty, and Ari was one of the comedians that was on, and at the end of his set, in front of the audience, he just pulled down his pants, and his dick and his balls were out, and he walked off, and oh, they were fuming at Ari. 1.00

02:15:20.000 They were very angry at Ari. 0.99

02:15:23.000 Yeah, they got really... 1.00

02:15:24.000 He's so silly. 0.99

02:15:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:26.000 You can't do that, Ari. 1.00

02:15:27.000 Yeah, it was funny.

02:15:28.000 I mean, it was HBO. It is funny.

02:15:30.000 He has big balls, too. 0.99

02:15:31.000 That guy's all bag. 0.99

02:15:32.000 If I had a giant bag, I'd probably show it a lot, too. 1.00

02:15:34.000 My balls are fucking... 1.00

02:15:35.000 That's why I'm scared of TRT, because my nuts are small already. 1.00

02:15:38.000 Oh, you don't want them to be...

02:15:39.000 I don't want them to be...

02:15:41.000 Raisin nuts.

02:15:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:15:42.000 I got a tight...

02:15:43.000 Look into that HCG stuff.

02:15:45.000 But talk to Brigham.

02:15:46.000 Brigham will explain to you why people have these fears about the side effects and what the real data shows.

02:15:54.000 Yeah, and I did the test, and they were very thorough, and the woman who I spoke to was very helpful, and she walked me through, and they did send me some supplements.

02:16:02.000 I'm buying these supplements where I'm taking like three or four pills a day, but the TRT I probably could use.

02:16:09.000 Well, one of the things that they've shown that ramps up testosterone without taking anything is if you can incorporate a cold plunge and then a workout after the cold plunge into your life.

02:16:18.000 It has a big impact on testosterone.

02:16:20.000 Really big.

02:16:21.000 The cold plunge.

02:16:21.000 Yeah.

02:16:22.000 It's something about cold and then warming up.

02:16:25.000 Working out to warm up.

02:16:26.000 It jacks up your testosterone in a pretty significant way.

02:16:29.000 I'm also, too, it's really weird, like, with testosterone and with, like, I'm faithful in my marriage. 1.00

02:16:35.000 Like, it's crazy to say, everyone says that, but I mean, I've always been a fucking shit partner. 0.99

02:16:40.000 Like, I was just selfish and I cheated. 0.99

02:16:42.000 And I know that I don't cheat now because I'm afraid if I do it once, I won't stop.

02:16:47.000 Like, you know what I mean?

02:16:48.000 It's like, I don't trust myself.

02:16:49.000 Like, it's not out of being this great guy.

02:16:51.000 It's out of knowing.

02:16:52.000 And you're worried that testosterone would make you want to cheat.

02:16:55.000 Yeah, and again, it wouldn't make me do it, but I'm like, I'm really happy with- Just make you hornier?

02:17:00.000 Irrationally hornier. 0.93

02:17:01.000 Like, I have a good sex drive still, but it's not irrational.

02:17:04.000 It's not like- I think you're thinking about psychological things that you control.

02:17:08.000 And I think what you should be concerned is about physical health.

02:17:12.000 And don't put your physical health in second position to psychological health that I think you can control.

02:17:22.000 And it seems like you are controlling.

02:17:24.000 Yeah, it's been good.

02:17:25.000 I don't think you think about it.

02:17:27.000 I think you're fine.

02:17:28.000 Yeah, I mean, look, would I take it if I really knew it wouldn't cause cancer?

02:17:35.000 Sure, because I just...

02:17:36.000 Well, this could be a long, drawn-out conversation, and we'd have to get very specific, but let me connect you to Brigham.

02:17:42.000 And Brigham can explain this with leisure time, when people don't have to be burdened by it on the air.

02:17:47.000 I'll have to talk about it again, but...

02:17:50.000 There's many different things that you could be doing that would optimize your health and your hormones that you should definitely do.

02:17:55.000 Especially if you're telling me you're doing jujitsu two times a week and Muay Thai two times a week.

02:17:58.000 Yeah.

02:17:59.000 You want to be as healthy as possible, but you've got to cut out sugar.

02:18:01.000 And Matt takes it. 1.00

02:18:03.000 Matt Serra is a fucking freight train. 1.00

02:18:06.000 Matt is a freight train. 1.00

02:18:07.000 He's a little tank. 0.66

02:18:08.000 He's a little tank.

02:18:10.000 The thing about Matt is he's literally the most consistent person I've ever met.

02:18:15.000 He is 100% genuine.

02:18:18.000 He's exactly the guy on the air that you think he's going to be off the air.

02:18:21.000 Same person.

02:18:22.000 No, he's great.

02:18:23.000 I've known Matt forever.

02:18:24.000 Yeah, he's really funny.

02:18:26.000 I don't think he really could lie, even if he wanted to. 0.97

02:18:29.000 There's just no bullshit with him. 0.98

02:18:31.000 I want to roll with him. 0.99

02:18:32.000 I want him to show me.

02:18:34.000 But I haven't trained with him yet.

02:18:36.000 Because he's in Long Island, I'm in this city.

02:18:38.000 But that's what I really want Matt to do.

02:18:40.000 Show me something.

02:18:41.000 Oh, you should definitely go.

02:18:42.000 I mean, he's a great teacher.

02:18:43.000 He was one of Henzo's very early black belts.

02:18:46.000 Yeah.

02:18:47.000 Matt Serra is a legit world champion.

02:18:49.000 He's like a legit world championship caliber jiu-jitsu player.

02:18:53.000 He's very, very good.

02:18:54.000 Before he got into MMA. You feel like a dick talking to a guy like that. 0.99

02:18:57.000 Like, even though he's one of my closest friends, it's like he's so high level. 0.99

02:19:00.000 It's like if I was friends with somebody for 10 years, and then they said, hey, you want to come watch me do stand-up?

02:19:06.000 No.

02:19:07.000 Yeah, but he teaches white belts.

02:19:09.000 That's what he does.

02:19:10.000 He does it all the time.

02:19:11.000 I mean, Matt Serra, even though he's famous and he's a former UFC champion, he teaches all the time.

02:19:17.000 And he loves it.

02:19:18.000 He loves doing it.

02:19:19.000 He loves it.

02:19:20.000 He's really good at it, too.

02:19:21.000 So if you go and learn from him, he will definitely show you some things that you can incorporate.

02:19:25.000 You know what's great about it?

02:19:26.000 When you're doing it, you don't think of anything but what you're doing in that moment.

02:19:29.000 It's crazy, like there's no... 0.54

02:19:31.000 And I would notice that where I would go in stressed and do it and then I'm finished and I'm like, I didn't think about a fucking thing other than exactly what Mike was telling me to do or what I was doing with this person. 0.53

02:19:41.000 There was no other thoughts. 0.85

02:19:42.000 There's no other time to think about anything.

02:19:44.000 So I liked you.

02:19:45.000 I'm really happy I started.

02:19:46.000 Those things are really good for you, things that can do that for you.

02:19:49.000 I bet that's what that climbing thing is like.

02:19:51.000 I bet that's one of the reasons why these guys do it.

02:19:53.000 I think when you're doing something that requires all of your focus, it's very cleaning. 0.99

02:19:58.000 It's like you're blowing out your mental pipes and cleaning out all the bullshit. 0.97

02:20:03.000 Yeah, if it's healthy. 0.99

02:20:05.000 Like, I've done a lot of healthy stuff that zones you out, unhealthy stuff that zones you out like that. 0.83

02:20:09.000 Like when you're riding around at fucking from midnight to 6am around the meatpacking district. 0.96

02:20:15.000 Like, dude, craziness. 0.99

02:20:17.000 I can't, like, you're just numb.

02:20:18.000 It doesn't feel like anything.

02:20:20.000 You're just looking out the window.

02:20:21.000 You can only talk to someone if they're on the left side of the car.

02:20:24.000 Like, it was just crazy.

02:20:25.000 What do you think would have changed if, I mean, what is prostitution in New York now? 0.59

02:20:29.000 Is it legal or is it decriminalized?

02:20:32.000 Like, they did something recently.

02:20:33.000 I don't know, to be honest with you, because it's been so long since I've been in that world.

02:20:38.000 I honestly don't know.

02:20:41.000 It's a fascinating conversation because everyone's like, well, you would never want your daughter or your mother or your sister to be a prostitute, right? 0.82

02:20:48.000 Right, of course. 0.76

02:20:49.000 But you don't think that you should be able to tell someone that they can't be a prostitute either. 0.59

02:20:54.000 Right.

02:20:56.000 Yeah, it's true.

02:20:57.000 I don't want to tell anybody what to do.

02:20:59.000 And I don't think it's good for you, but I don't think coal mining is good for you either.

02:21:06.000 You know what I mean?

02:21:09.000 Because of the way our society is and the way we look at sex, we think of sex work as being a very different kind of work because it's involving intimacy in your body.

02:21:27.000 Right, yeah.

02:21:40.000 But if they want to do prostitution, someone's like, you know, I just want to go out and blow some guys, make some money. 0.87

02:21:45.000 No, you can't do it.

02:21:46.000 You can't do it.

02:21:47.000 Like, I don't want you to do it, but you can't do it. 1.00

02:21:50.000 Another human being telling one human being that you can go out and fuck all the guys you want for free. 1.00

02:21:55.000 Right. 1.00

02:21:56.000 But if you get paid, we're going to lock you up.

02:21:58.000 It's a weird thing.

02:21:59.000 It's like people have to be free to make decisions that some other people find objectionable.

02:22:04.000 That's what it is.

02:22:05.000 You have to be able to make adult decisions yourself as long as you're an adult and you're making the decisions yourself.

02:22:11.000 But I haven't been involved with it in so long just because, again, it's the first time I've ever truly been faithful. 0.97

02:22:18.000 But it's, again, not out of me thinking I'm this fucking great guy.

02:22:21.000 It's just I'm afraid if I'm not, I'll destroy something and not be able to fix it. 0.96

02:22:26.000 What do you think that happens when sex robots come out, like real ones?

02:22:30.000 What are you showing me, Jamie?

02:22:32.000 Oh, that's in Queens, I think.

02:22:34.000 I did hear about that, right?

02:22:35.000 In Queens, there's a lot of street walkers.

02:22:37.000 It says, this New York City Avenue is being overrun by brazen brothels operating in broad daylight. 0.99

02:22:44.000 Is it legal?

02:22:45.000 They decriminalized it in Manhattan, maybe, in 2021. Stop prosecuting prostitution, part of nationwide shift.

02:22:54.000 District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. moved to dismiss thousands of cases dating back decades and made a growing movement to change the criminal justice system's approach to prostitutions.

02:23:03.000 How old is this article?

02:23:04.000 Because Cyrus Vance, is he still there?

02:23:06.000 So that was 2021, but in this article it says something just like that.

02:23:10.000 It says they asked a cop and he said we're not allowed to arrest prostitutes anymore, supposedly.

02:23:14.000 Oh, okay.

02:23:15.000 But they've got to figure something out.

02:23:16.000 They're not.

02:23:19.000 Interesting.

02:23:19.000 Sex robots?

02:23:20.000 How do they have this fucking going on in broad daylight? 1.00

02:23:22.000 A police source asked of seeing photos of the women on the streets. 1.00

02:23:26.000 So popular with pervs that it's advertised on YouTube.

02:23:31.000 What? 0.90

02:23:32.000 What, their brothel is advertised on...

02:23:34.000 Whoa.

02:23:35.000 Yeah.

02:23:35.000 Is that a girl, a real girl?

02:23:37.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:23:38.000 I'll do a little fucking reconnaissance. 0.99

02:23:40.000 Scroll back up, Jimmy. 1.00

02:23:41.000 I mean, damn. 1.00

02:23:43.000 Damn. 0.99

02:23:44.000 It looks a little like a Photoshop, like a little bit of like a little... 0.99

02:23:47.000 It might be AI. Yeah, or it looks like a little bit of touch-up has been done.

02:23:50.000 Maybe her mom works there. 0.95

02:23:51.000 Yeah.

02:23:52.000 Perfect storm for prostitution in Corona and New York City immigrant enclaves. 1.00

02:23:57.000 Vulnerable migrant women unable to legally work are flooding the city while local district attorneys have chosen to stop prosecuting sex workers.

02:24:05.000 Wow.

02:24:07.000 This is crazy.

02:24:08.000 Cooperation.

02:24:09.000 Yeah.

02:24:10.000 The Roosevelt Avenue red light district is blatantly advertised on a YouTube channel for Spanish speakers with 10 minutes of footage showing the women working what they call the market of sweethearts and two men guiding viewers on how to negotiate with them.

02:24:26.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:24:27.000 This is a YouTube clip!

02:24:29.000 I found the search topic.

02:24:30.000 Oh my god.

02:24:31.000 Yeah, find that.

02:24:33.000 Yeah, there's articles that are newer articles that still come up.

02:24:35.000 It's still a problem in Queens. 0.99

02:24:37.000 Bro, give me some volume.

02:24:39.000 What?

02:24:40.000 This is wild.

02:24:46.000 The Market of Sweethearts.

02:24:49.000 So this is in Queens?

02:24:50.000 I think so, yeah.

02:24:52.000 Yeah, the one article, too, I was looking at it back before, said a lot of the unlicensed massages and other things like that, they're just going to stop prosecuting.

02:25:00.000 Imagine if you have a store downstairs that just sells socks and pantyhose and baseball hats, and above it there's prostitutes. 1.00

02:25:08.000 What a wild neighborhood.

02:25:11.000 Imagine how many more people would come in and see your baseball hats and socks on their way in.

02:25:14.000 This whole neighborhood is wild.

02:25:16.000 It doesn't show up too much on this video either though.

02:25:19.000 Oh, so these are the girls that are waiting? 1.00

02:25:20.000 I guess so.

02:25:21.000 Yeah.

02:25:21.000 But they look kind of plainly and normally dressed.

02:25:24.000 This just seems like you're just walking around New York like this.

02:25:26.000 Unless you know exactly what you're doing.

02:25:28.000 Yeah.

02:25:29.000 There's just women outside. 1.00

02:25:29.000 Yeah, it's not like the old days when you would ride around and see people who were dressed obviously like they were working. 1.00

02:25:34.000 Right, but there must be another video, Jamie, that they were talking about that advertises how to talk to the men.

02:25:40.000 Why don't you throw it into YouTube?

02:25:43.000 TikTok.

02:25:46.000 It's the same video.

02:25:49.000 It's the shorter version of the same video.

02:25:51.000 Oh, they run away from the cameras.

02:25:53.000 Yeah.

02:25:54.000 Well, it's probably a lot of illegals, right? 1.00

02:25:58.000 Yeah.

02:25:58.000 That come over here.

02:26:01.000 Hmm.

02:26:03.000 The Avenue of Sweethearts.

02:26:05.000 Weird.

02:26:05.000 Yeah.

02:26:07.000 You don't see it in Manhattan anymore.

02:26:09.000 The New York City Red Light District.

02:26:12.000 So there's a red light district in New York City.

02:26:14.000 Yeah, Roosevelt Avenue, right.

02:26:14.000 Okay.

02:26:15.000 Wow.

02:26:18.000 Crazy, dude.

02:26:20.000 There's an inside. 0.98

02:26:22.000 Here we go.

02:26:23.000 A rare glimpse inside a New York City brothel. 0.99

02:26:26.000 There's probably some hidden camera Yeah, like they have those cameras now that are like a fucking tie pin, you know? 0.99

02:26:34.000 Yeah, it's scary. 0.95

02:26:35.000 Going into different places, you're probably always being filmed. 0.99

02:26:38.000 You're fucking, and there's curtains between you and the people fucking next to you. 1.00

02:26:42.000 Yikes. 1.00

02:26:43.000 Yeah, that's a little bit too...

02:26:45.000 That's exactly how I pictured it.

02:26:47.000 Yeah.

02:26:49.000 They don't give you a lot of room to move around in either, in that room.

02:26:52.000 No.

02:26:53.000 No.

02:26:54.000 And the cameras scare me.

02:26:55.000 Like, there's probably cameras in everyone's house now.

02:26:59.000 Oh, yeah.

02:27:00.000 You gotta be so...

02:27:01.000 Especially if you're a married guy. 1.00

02:27:02.000 Fucking running around. 1.00

02:27:03.000 Kids. 1.00

02:27:04.000 Well, there's cameras outside of doors now.

02:27:06.000 There's cameras outside of businesses.

02:27:09.000 There's cameras...

02:27:10.000 We're gonna get to a point where there was an invention that they were working on a long time ago that would have these tiny...

02:27:22.000 I don't know what you would call them, like tiny machines that were the size of a grain of sand or a grain of rice, and you could spread them everywhere, and they would give you location data, they would give you video and audio,

02:27:38.000 they would give you all sorts of different things, but they were so tiny.

02:27:40.000 That you could just leave them all over the place.

02:27:43.000 And they would transmit through a network.

02:27:45.000 And they would operate.

02:27:46.000 I don't know how they'd operate.

02:27:47.000 Solar power, what they would do.

02:27:49.000 They have a small battery, whatever it is.

02:27:51.000 But this was an idea that I had read that they thought would eventually come to fruition.

02:27:57.000 You would literally have these tiny nano cameras everywhere.

02:28:00.000 Right.

02:28:00.000 When they put little cameras in, when they finally get it down to insect size, the size of an ant or a fly.

02:28:06.000 They have that. 0.99

02:28:07.000 Yeah, then you're kind of fucked. 0.99

02:28:10.000 I mean, I have cameras. 1.00

02:28:11.000 Have you seen those little tiny, they look like a little tiny, like a fake bee or a fake fly?

02:28:17.000 It's a little mechanical fly.

02:28:19.000 I saw it in Black Mirror, which is kind of how I picture it.

02:28:22.000 I think they have them.

02:28:23.000 I think it's a real thing now.

02:28:25.000 Dude, I have three cameras in my house.

02:28:27.000 I have one in my...

02:28:29.000 When you walk into my apartment, because I'm so fucking paranoid, I have one facing the front door, and I have two on my terrace, because I'm always afraid someone's going to jump down from the roof, which is kind of crazy.

02:28:39.000 That's totally possible. 0.99

02:28:40.000 And I saw my wife one time, I was watching back footage, and I saw some guy come in, and she was kissing him, and I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:28:48.000 I was really fucking, I confronted her with it. 0.99

02:28:50.000 It was me. 1.00

02:28:51.000 It was a fucking video of me. 0.99

02:28:53.000 I was looking back, I didn't realize that it was me. 0.99

02:28:56.000 I didn't recognize myself in the video. 0.99

02:28:58.000 And I'm confronted, I'm like, who the fuck is this? 0.98

02:29:00.000 And it was just a video of me leaving. 0.99

02:29:01.000 You confronted her before you realized that it, didn't you like zoom in on her or something?

02:29:05.000 It's a it's a terrible grainy photo and I took screen grabs of it I'm like who the fuck is this and it was me you guys role-playing I swear to God it was it was I'm like why it wasn't they were it was like a weird intimate kiss on the cheek and a long hug and I realized that it was me I have the photos somewhere. 0.97

02:29:24.000 I don't know why that I think you need a better camera No, or I just need to fucking watch something through. 0.89

02:29:30.000 It's also a better camera because you didn't even know it was you. 0.77

02:29:33.000 If it is someone else, if someone is breaking into your house, you're never going to get a good description of them.

02:29:38.000 No, I know. 0.99

02:29:39.000 It's just some dumpy guy in a fucking hoodie, which is what I saw. 0.99

02:29:43.000 But I think the color changes a little bit with the light. 0.99

02:29:45.000 I just didn't recognize myself. 1.00

02:29:47.000 And so I confronted her and I felt like a fucking idiot. 1.00

02:29:51.000 That's pretty funny. 1.00

02:29:52.000 Yeah, but the cameras are...

02:29:54.000 Look, I feel safer with them at night.

02:29:55.000 I kind of want to get a pistol.

02:29:57.000 I found a lot of articles talking about the smart dust, which is what you were just describing, but I can't find anything that talks about, like, here's it in action.

02:30:04.000 There's a lot of descriptions of this is what it will do, but all the way dating back to maybe even as early as the 90s they've been talking about it.

02:30:10.000 Yeah, that's what I was talking about, that it was kind of more theoretical than anything.

02:30:15.000 I don't know how they would power it.

02:30:17.000 Ring camera has this thing.

02:30:18.000 By the way, when we go away, I set up five ring cameras in my house.

02:30:22.000 So if anybody comes in, I see what room they're in, I see what they're doing, like if the super has to come in.

02:30:28.000 Can you talk to them and say, I know where you are?

02:30:30.000 I can, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:30:32.000 And I actually will text a worker if he was in one time, just like, just so you know, there's ring cameras. 0.51

02:30:35.000 I don't think I'm fucking spying on them.

02:30:37.000 But the ring has this thing now where it's like a little, it raises up and will patrol the inside of your house. 0.98

02:30:44.000 It's a drone?

02:30:45.000 Yeah, but I applied to get it. 1.00

02:30:47.000 Like, you have to apply to be a part of the program, and they just keep telling me to go, fuck myself. 0.99

02:30:50.000 Like, I want this so bad. 0.98

02:30:52.000 It raises up, and it will fly in a pattern that you walk around with it, and you show where to go, and then you put it back down, and it can repeat that pattern.

02:31:02.000 So it's just like, whoa.

02:31:05.000 They just showed this at CES. It's made by Samsung.

02:31:09.000 Yeah, this is not it.

02:31:10.000 I know, but this little robot does a lot of what you were just talking about.

02:31:12.000 They show this lady, let me get to the video where it's showing it, but she's using it at home with her pet. 0.99

02:31:17.000 Here you go. 0.98

02:31:19.000 It can connect to all of your stuff that's already at home and do good things for you, you know, but also maybe weird shit. 0.99

02:31:26.000 It can talk to your dog and feed your dog. 0.96

02:31:26.000 So it's projecting on that screen. 0.96

02:31:29.000 That's what it's showing, right?

02:31:30.000 Yeah, when I first saw it, I didn't see any of this actual, this is like personal assistant usage almost.

02:31:36.000 Huh.

02:31:37.000 And it's working with your Galaxy Watch?

02:31:39.000 Is that what it's working with?

02:31:40.000 Anything that's connected to Samsung stuff and their network of stuff.

02:31:43.000 Which I guess, in theory, then you could add your lights as part of your air conditioning.

02:31:47.000 Yeah, they make refrigerators now.

02:31:49.000 Samsung has a refrigerator that will take an AI. It will use AI to tell you what the expiration dates of all the food products that are in your refrigerator, when they were put in there.

02:31:59.000 The contents of them, it'll break it all down for you.

02:32:02.000 And even give you recipes to cook, like the food that's in your fridge.

02:32:07.000 LG has one also.

02:32:09.000 Yeah.

02:32:10.000 Interesting.

02:32:11.000 Yeah, this one from Ring, it didn't have any personality to it.

02:32:14.000 It was like a box that this thing would raise up out of.

02:32:18.000 It was square.

02:32:19.000 I don't think it did anything else.

02:32:21.000 Well, I think Samsung is about to release.

02:32:24.000 There's two steps.

02:32:25.000 One is their AI thing where they're going to have a conference.

02:32:30.000 I think it's in Vegas.

02:32:32.000 I don't know if it's in Vegas.

02:32:34.000 There's the thing Jim is talking about.

02:32:36.000 So it flies around?

02:32:38.000 Yeah, it raises up out of that little dock.

02:32:40.000 Oh, that's wild.

02:32:43.000 That is cool.

02:32:44.000 Yeah, I think pre-programmed...

02:32:47.000 And it goes back in there and sits in place and gets charged?

02:32:50.000 Gets charged again, yeah.

02:32:51.000 I think it's good for five minutes an hour.

02:32:53.000 Isn't that awesome?

02:32:54.000 That's incredible.

02:32:55.000 That's incredible.

02:32:56.000 That's so cool.

02:32:57.000 Yeah.

02:32:58.000 That's really cool.

02:33:00.000 It's really cool looking, too.

02:33:01.000 It looks like what I would hope a little robot watchdog from the future would look like.

02:33:07.000 Can you guide it if you were out of town?

02:33:08.000 That I don't know.

02:33:09.000 I'm assuming that it's just the pattern you've established.

02:33:13.000 Right. 0.97

02:33:13.000 But I get so paranoid about flooding and shit like that. 0.97

02:33:16.000 I would love to be able to see if my floors are flooded. 1.00

02:33:18.000 Dude, that's fucking dope. 0.99

02:33:20.000 That thing is dope. 1.00

02:33:21.000 Functionality is simulated for illustrative purposes, so it doesn't really show it in use.

02:33:25.000 So this Samsung refrigerator thing was fascinating to me.

02:33:29.000 I'm like, what a great idea.

02:33:31.000 You have a refrigerator that tells you what the ingredients you have in the refrigerator is, when the expiration date of these foods are, and then gives you a recipe so you can cook based on what's in the fridge.

02:33:43.000 I like that, and then there's also the part of, I don't want my refrigerator involved.

02:33:48.000 It's too large.

02:33:50.000 You know what I mean? 0.98

02:33:50.000 My refrigerator is always fucking empty. 0.98

02:33:52.000 It's got RX bars in it and bananas and some fruit. 0.98

02:33:56.000 There's never a whole lot going on in my refrigerator.

02:33:58.000 That's probably better.

02:34:00.000 Yeah, you probably don't want to go too hard with the fridge.

02:34:02.000 No, I mean, like, again, it's just, I order meals.

02:34:06.000 It's just a fridge.

02:34:06.000 It's a fridge.

02:34:07.000 I don't need to have a relationship with it. 0.99

02:34:09.000 Like, I just want to go in and get some shit. 0.99

02:34:10.000 I have these meals I order, they're like for the Whole30 diet, which is what I do when I really lose weight. 0.99

02:34:15.000 And they just, they pre-make them and they send them and I know what I'm, it's fucking, it's boring because you eat the same stuff all the time, even if you have a variety, but it's better than I would do on my own.

02:34:25.000 Oh, for sure. 0.92

02:34:25.000 And it's real food. 0.92

02:34:26.000 It's real food.

02:34:27.000 There's some carbs that are healthy, like there's potatoes and things like that.

02:34:31.000 That's the key.

02:34:31.000 Like when I see Joe DeRosa's sandwich shop that's advertised on Instagram, it looks good.

02:34:36.000 It looks good.

02:34:36.000 And it is good.

02:34:37.000 I've eaten. 0.98

02:34:37.000 I bet it's goddamn delicious. 0.98

02:34:39.000 But I bet if I ate there every day, I'd have a big fat face. 0.98

02:34:41.000 Yeah, I think I've eaten a little bites of Joe's sandwiches, and again, if I go there, I know.

02:34:46.000 Like, I keep saying when I lose weight, I'm going to go and get a DeRosa sandwich, because they are very good little samples.

02:34:51.000 He didn't bring them to Arsha, he brought them into Chip. 0.98

02:34:53.000 He did Chip one time, and he brought fucking sandwiches, and they were actually very tasty. 0.99

02:34:57.000 I'm sure they're great. 0.98

02:34:58.000 They look awesome on the internet.

02:35:00.000 But the point is, like, I'll...

02:35:02.000 You know, I see that, and it looks great, but I know what that is.

02:35:06.000 That's the food that's just comfort food, tastes delicious, but you really shouldn't be eating that every day.

02:35:12.000 No, and I've gotten, it's funny, I've gotten into Jersey Mike's, like my manager hates them so much because he hates the name Jersey Mike's, he feels like it's a fake name.

02:35:20.000 He's really weird with the stuff that he doesn't like. 0.95

02:35:22.000 So I tried them once, and I'm like, I fucking, and they would send us like coupons and free stuff, and that fucking, it's good food. 0.98

02:35:29.000 They make a good sub. 0.99

02:35:30.000 They make a good sub, man.

02:35:32.000 Yeah, they do.

02:35:32.000 They make a good Italian sub.

02:35:34.000 Very hard to not eat bad. 0.91

02:35:36.000 It's very hard not to be a pig when you have the money to go out and get what you want. 0.55

02:35:40.000 Within reason. 0.95

02:35:40.000 I can go out and eat in any restaurant and it's really hard to not... 0.95

02:35:44.000 On Thanksgiving, the thing we wanted to do is after Thanksgiving, we wanted to go get McDonald's. 1.00

02:35:50.000 I'm like, I'm going to be a piece of shit today. 0.99

02:35:52.000 Let me go and do that. 1.00

02:35:53.000 Which we didn't. 1.00

02:35:54.000 Instead, we went to this fucking Mexican place, which was shit. 1.00

02:35:57.000 We should have went to McDonald's. 1.00

02:35:59.000 But you got to give yourself a day or two to do it and then not do it.

02:36:02.000 Yeah, if you give yourself a designated cheat day, whether it's once a week or once a month, whatever you choose to do, and then just eat, then you'll have fun, but then you'll all... 0.90

02:36:11.000 Like Sean Brady was here yesterday from the UFC, and he was saying that after he won his fight, after he beat Calvin Gaslam, he had one day where he just ate like a pig, and he said he felt so fucking terrible the next day.

02:36:22.000 He's like, God, I gotta get right back on track. 0.99

02:36:24.000 But I gave myself one day, and I felt like fucking total dog shit after it was over. 0.99

02:36:29.000 I was watching, like, on Instagram, The Rock will do, like, these Sunday cheat days, but this is how delusional I am. 0.99

02:36:35.000 I've actually watched that, and I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna have some, you know, like, almost like The Rock and I are on the same fucking food regimen, but I'll watch him eat something, and it will make me want to have a cheat day. 0.87

02:36:45.000 But it's like, Jim, you've given yourself nothing but cheat days. 1.00

02:36:48.000 For 30 years, you fat fuck. 1.00

02:36:50.000 I pound 25 pounds. 1.00

02:36:51.000 I know it.

02:36:53.000 Thankfully, the comments online, they seem to recognize it too.

02:36:57.000 I got to drop 20 pounds.

02:36:59.000 I started again, but I can't unsee it. 0.98

02:37:02.000 When I'm fat or when I'm fatter, my ex, I dated one of my trainers and she's in perfect fucking shape. 1.00

02:37:07.000 Even she messaged me about a month ago and she goes, Hey, I've been seeing your Instagram pictures. 0.56

02:37:11.000 It looks like you've given up on your diet.

02:37:13.000 She was trying to be gentle and going, Is there anything I can do?

02:37:16.000 I'm like, Man, you got to do something. 1.00

02:37:18.000 When ex-girlfriends are telling you, you got fucking fat, Jim. 0.99

02:37:21.000 You gotta do something. 1.00

02:37:23.000 It's humiliating.

02:37:24.000 But I love her for sending me that message because it was like the final straw.

02:37:27.000 I'm like, I gotta stop.

02:37:29.000 Yeah, fat shaming works. 1.00

02:37:30.000 And she was trying to be helpful.

02:37:32.000 I don't even think she wanted me to feel bad.

02:37:34.000 I think that she had noticed it for a while as it progressed.

02:37:38.000 I've been going through these and then in the last, say, six months, it just got to be bad again.

02:37:43.000 So I'm like, I can't go back to where I was years ago.

02:37:46.000 I was just too unhappy.

02:37:48.000 Yeah, it's not good.

02:37:49.000 And it's also avoidable.

02:37:51.000 It's one of the most avoidable things because you choose to put whatever you eat into your mouth.

02:37:55.000 It's your choice.

02:37:56.000 Yeah.

02:37:57.000 And my wife is mad at me. 1.00

02:37:58.000 She's like, can you wear something other than black and black jeans? 0.99

02:38:01.000 And I'm like, stop fucking bringing home cookies. 0.99

02:38:03.000 Like, if I lose weight, you can dress me. 0.99

02:38:05.000 I'll wear whatever.

02:38:06.000 And you're just like turquoise or something flashy.

02:38:08.000 Maybe velour.

02:38:10.000 Something velour.

02:38:10.000 I would love to wear a velvet, a gentleman's red velvet jacket.

02:38:14.000 Ooh.

02:38:15.000 But I would let her.

02:38:16.000 I don't know if I'd trust her to dress me. 1.00

02:38:17.000 She'd dress me like a fucking creep. 1.00

02:38:20.000 She thinks I'm better looking than I am. 1.00

02:38:23.000 But I would let her buy what she wanted for me if I lost the weight.

02:38:26.000 But I have to lose maybe 15 more pounds.

02:38:30.000 Do you have a plan?

02:38:31.000 Do you have it written out?

02:38:32.000 No, I know the diet that works for me is, if I stick to, like you said, no sugar, no carbs, the whole 30 diet, I've lost, I mean, I lost a lot of weight on that.

02:38:42.000 And you lose it pretty quick.

02:38:44.000 But I've just been, it's hard to not cheat.

02:38:47.000 You know, again...

02:38:48.000 I get it.

02:38:48.000 Food's delicious.

02:38:49.000 It's hardest for me when I'm tired.

02:38:51.000 Late at night, I come home, I just want to eat whatever I want to eat.

02:38:54.000 I don't want to have, like, a restriction based on diet.

02:38:57.000 When I stopped watching lots of porn, like I still watch it, but it's much less, I started eating more. 0.99

02:39:03.000 Because again, it's that fucking dopamine drip. 1.00

02:39:06.000 Right, right. 1.00

02:39:06.000 Makes sense. 1.00

02:39:07.000 But when I'm on a roll and I'm watching porn, the weight just comes off my ass. 1.00

02:39:11.000 I'm fucking too busy to eat cake. 1.00

02:39:13.000 Jerk off diet. 1.00

02:39:13.000 I'm jerking off. 1.00

02:39:14.000 Yeah, you can't do both. 0.99

02:39:17.000 That's hilarious.

02:39:18.000 Are you staying in town tonight?

02:39:20.000 I am, yeah.

02:39:20.000 Do you set tonight?

02:39:21.000 Yeah, I am tonight, and then back to New York tomorrow.

02:39:24.000 It was fun having you at the club last night.

02:39:25.000 I love it, man.

02:39:26.000 Thank you.

02:39:27.000 Can I plug?

02:39:28.000 I want to plug.

02:39:29.000 I'm on tour again, so go to my website, jimnorton.com, if you want to see me live.

02:39:32.000 I've got like 20 cities.

02:39:34.000 And at Nicky and Jim NYC is our YouTube channel, if you want to see my wife and I just kind of living our existence.

02:39:41.000 Bam.

02:39:41.000 There it is.

02:39:42.000 Let me see that picture again. 0.98

02:39:43.000 It's the least fat pig picture ever. 0.98

02:39:47.000 That barely looks like you. 0.99

02:39:49.000 I know.

02:39:50.000 It's weird.

02:39:50.000 It looks like a salesman from somewhere trying to sell me a mobile home.

02:39:53.000 The only reason I'm using that is we did a photo shoot. 0.97

02:39:57.000 I'm a pig in every picture.

02:39:59.000 This is the one I look least fat in, and she was futzing with my shirt. 1.00

02:40:03.000 That wasn't supposed to be the picture, but I'm like, let's just use that for now. 0.99

02:40:07.000 On the phone, it looks even worse because it's just my fucking head. 0.99

02:40:11.000 All right. 1.00

02:40:12.000 Beautiful.

02:40:12.000 Jim Norton, I love you.

02:40:13.000 Thank you.

02:40:14.000 I love you, Jeff.

02:40:14.000 Thanks for having me.

02:40:15.000 Great hanging out with you last night.

02:40:15.000 And I'll see you tonight.

02:40:16.000 Yes, pal.

02:40:17.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 12, 2024

Joe Rogan Experience #2086 - Jim Norton

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript